,,your ,,child  ,,today ,,and ,,tomorrow
     ,,your ,,child  ,,today ,,and      
,,tomorrow   ,,some ,,problems ,,for    
,,parents ,,concerning    ,,punishment  
,,reasoning   ,,lies                    
,,ideals ,,and ,,ambitions   ,,fear     
,,work ,,and ,,play   ,,imagination     
,,social ,,activities   ,,obedience     
,,adolescence   ,,will                  
,,heredity    ,by  ,,sidonie ,,matzner  
,,gruenberg    ,second ,revised ,edition
 ,enlarged  ,,with ,a ,,forward ,,by    
,,bishop ,,john ,h4 ,,vincent           
,chancellor of ,chautauqua ,institution 
,,with #ab ,,illustrations  #aiab1      
#aiac1 #aibj     ,,to ,,her ,,whose     
,,devotion ,,and ,,untiring ,,effort    
,,toward ,,an ,,intelligent             
,,understanding ,,of ,,her ,,children   
,,have ,,ever ,,been ,,an ,,inspiration1
  ,,my ,,mother  ,,and  ,,to ,,my       
,,children  ,,whose ,,contribution      
,,toward ,,my ,,education ,,has ,,been  
,,greater ,,than ,,that ,,from ,,any    
,,other ,,source1 ,,this ,,little ,,book

 ,,is ,,affectionately ,,dedicated4     
,,preface ,,to ,,second ,,edition   ,in 
the sad years that have intervened since
 this book was published1 we have all   
been impressed by the brilliant         
achievements of science in every        
department of practical life4 ,but      
whereas the application of chemistry and
 electricity and biology might1 perhaps1
 be safely left to the specialists1 it  
seems to me that in a democracy it is   
essential for every single person to    
have a practical understanding of the   
workings of his own mind1 and of his    
neighbor's4 ,the understanding of human 
nature should not be left entirely in   
the hands of the specialists--it        
concerns all of us4  ,there is no better
 way for beginning the study of human   
nature than by following the unfolding  
of a spirit as it takes place before us 
in the growth of a child4 ,i am humbly  
grateful of the assurances received from
 many quarters that these chapters have 
aided many parents and teachers in such 

study4  ,in the present edition ,i have 
made a number of slight changes to      
harmonize the reading with the results  
of later scientific studies2 there is a 
new list of references and some new     
material in the chapter on sex          
education2 and there is a new chapter   
suggesting the connection between the   
new psychology and the democratic ideals
 of human relations4  ,,sidonie         
,,matzner ,,gruenberg4  ,march1 #aibj4  
,,preface   ,in my efforts to learn     
something about the nature of the child1
 as a member of child-study groups1 and 
in my own studies1 ,i have found a large
 mass of material--accumulated by       
investigators into the psychology and   
the biology of childhood--which could be
 of great practical use to all concerned
 with the bringing up of children4 ,in  
this little book ,i have tried to       
present some of this material in a form 
that will make it available for those   
who lack the time1 or the special       
training or the opportunity to work it  

out for themselves4 ,it has been my     
chief aim to show that a proper         
understanding of and sympathy with the  
various stages through which the child  
normally passes will do much toward     
making not only the child happier1 but  
the task of the parents pleasanter4 ,i  
am convinced that our failure to        
understand the workings of the child's  
mind is responsible for much of the     
friction between parents and children4  
,we cannot expect the children1 with    
their limited experience and their      
undeveloped intellect1 to understand us2
 if we are to have harmony1 intimacy and
 cooperation1 these must come through   
the parents' successful efforts at      
understanding the children4  ,in        
speaking of the child always in the     
masculine1 ,i have followed the custom  
of the specialists4 ,it is of course to 
be understood that he sometimes means   
she and usually he or she4  ,it has been
 impossible to refer at every point to  
the source of the material used4 ,one   

unconsciously absorbs many ideas which  
one is unable later to trace to their   
sources2 in addition to this1 the       
material ,i have here presented has been
 worked over so that it is impossible in
 most cases to ascribe a particular idea
 to a particular person4 ,i wish1       
however1 to acknowledge my indebtedness 
to all who have patiently labored in    
this field1 and especially to those     
,masters of ,child ,study1 ,g4 ,stanley 
,hall1 ,john ,dewey1 ,earl ,barnes1     
,edwin ,a4 ,kirkpatrick and ,edward ,l4 
,thorndike4 ,i owe much to my           
opportunity to work in the ,federation  
for ,child ,study4 ,these groups of     
mothers and teachers have done a great  
deal1 under the guidance and inspiration
 of ,professor ,felix ,adler1 to develop
 a spirit of co-operation in the attack 
upon the practical problems of          
child-training in the home4  ,i am very 
grateful to ,mrs4 ,hilda ,m4 ,schwartz1 
of ,minneapolis1 for her assistance in  
revising the manuscript and in securing 

the illustrations4  ,the assistance of  
my husband has been invaluable4 ,in his 
suggestions and criticisms he has given 
me the benefit of his experience as     
biologist and educator4  ,,sidonie      
,,matzner ,,gruenberg4  ,new ,york ,may1
 #aiac4     ,a ,,foreword   ,in the     
thought of the writer of this prefatory 
page1 the book he thus introduces is an 
exceptionally sane1 practical and       
valuable treatment of the problem of    
problems suggested by our present       
,american ,civilization1 namely3 ,the   
,training of the ,on-coming             
,generation--the new ,americans--who are
 to realize the dreams of our ancestors 
concerning personal freedom and         
development in the social1 political1   
commercial and religious life of the    
,republic4  ,there is always hope for   
the adult who takes any real interest in
 self-improvement4 ,one is never too old
 to turn over a new leaf and to begin a 
new record4 ,a full-grown man may become
 a promising child in the kingdom of    

grace4 ,he may dream dreams and see     
visions4 ,he may resolve1 and his       
experience of forty or more years in    
practising decision and in persisting   
despite counter inclinations may only   
increase his chances for mastering a    
problem1 overcoming a difficulty and    
developing enthusiasm4 ,a page of       
,history or of ,ethics1 a poet's vision 
or a philosopher's reasoning1 will find 
a response in his personality impossible
 to a juvenile4 ,his knowledge of real  
life1 of persons he has met1 of theories
 he has often pondered1 of difficulties 
he has encountered and canvassed1 the   
conversations and discussions in which  
he has taken part--all give new value to
 the pages he is now turning1 and while 
he may not as easily as formerly        
memorize the language1 he at once       
grasps1 appreciates and appropriates the
 thoughts there expressed4  ,with these 
advantages as a thinker1 a reader1 a man
 of affairs1 a father interested in his 
or children and in their education1 what

 a blessing to him and to his family    
comes through the reading of an         
interesting1 suggestive and stimulating 
book on child training such as this     
practical volume by ,mrs4 ,gruenberg4   
,in fact1 the book becomes a sort of a  
,normal ,class in itself4 ,it is        
attractive1 ingenious1 illustrative and 
stimulating--an example of the true     
teaching spirit and method4  ,this      
volume has in it much that a preacher   
and pastor would do well to read4 ,and a
 very wise pastor will be inclined to   
bring together ,mothers and             
,sunday-,school ,teachers and read to   
them certain paragraphs until they are  
induced to put a copy of the volume in  
their own library and thus become1 in a 
sense1 members of a strong and most     
helpful ,normal ,class4  ,one thing     
every ,sunday-,school ,teacher and every
 ,parent should remember is that all    
attempts to experiment in the           
instruction of children are so many     
steps towards ,normal ,work1 in which   

are included the use of illustrations1  
the framing of questions1 the devices to
 get attention1 and the effort to induce
 children to think for themselves and   
freely to express their thoughts1       
reasonings1 doubts1 difficulties and    
personal independent opinions4 ,all     
these efforts not only develop power in 
the child1 but they react upon the      
teacher and ensure for the next meeting 
of the class some new suggestion1 some  
additional question1 some fresh view of 
the whole subject by which both teacher 
and pupils will be stimulated and       
instructed4  ,in our intercourse with   
children let us aim to develop the      
teaching motive1 and we shall not only  
make the work of the class room         
profitable to the pupils1 but each of us
 will find new delight1 new inspiration 
and an unanticipated degree of success  
in this beautiful and divine ministry4  
,,john ,h4 ,,vincent4  ,,chicago ,,and  
,,chautauqua1  ,may #g1 #aiac4          
,,contents   ,,chapter  ,i4 ,,you ,,and 

,,your ,,child  ,,ii4 ,,the ,,problem   
,,of ,,punishment  ,,iii4 ,,when ,,your 
,,child ,,imagines ,,things  ,,iv4 ,,the
 ,,lies ,,children ,,tell  ,v4 ,,being  
,,afraid  ,,vi4 ,,the ,,first ,,great   
,,law  ,,vii4 ,,the ,,training ,,of     
,,the ,,will  ,,viii4 ,,how ,,children  
,,reason  ,,ix4 ,,work ,,and ,,play  ,x4
 ,,children',s ,,gangs1 ,,clubs1 ,,and  
,,friendships  ,,xi4 ,,children',s      
,,ideals ,,and ,,ambitions  ,,xii4 ,,the
 ,,stork ,,or ,,the ,,truth  ,,xiii4    
,,the ,,golden ,,age ,,of ,,transition  
,,xiv4 ,,heredity ,,and ,,environment   
,,xv4 ,,freedom ,,and ,,discipline      
,,illustrations   ,,the ,,creative      
,,impulse ,,is ,,born ,,with ,,every    
,,normal ,,child  ,,the ,,impulse ,,to  
,,action ,,early ,,leads ,,to ,,doing   
,,imagination ,,supplies ,,this         
,,two-,,year-,,old ,a ,,prancing ,,steed
  ,,neither ,,are ,,girls ,,afraid ,,to 
,,climb  ,,only ,a ,,good ,,reason ,,can
 ,,warrant ,,calling ,,an ,,absorbed    
,,child ,,from ,,his ,,occupation       

,,habits ,,of ,,careful ,,work ,,furnish
 ,a ,,good ,,foundation ,,for ,,the     
,,will  ,,work ,,is ,,play  ,,let ,,them
 ,,romp ,,in ,,the ,,winter ,,as ,,well 
,,as ,,in ,,summer  ,,in ,,their ,,games
 ,,they ,,should ,,learn ,,to ,,lose    
,,as ,,well ,,as ,,to ,,win  ,,don',t   
,,forget ,,how ,,to ,,play ,,with ,,the 
,,children  ,,the ,,boys ,,need ,a      
,,chance ,,to ,,get ,,together  ,,in    
,,the ,,country ,,children ,,become     
,,acquainted ,,with ,,the ,,facts ,,of  
,,life     ,,your ,,child ,,today ,,and 
,,tomorrow     ,i4  ,,you ,,and ,,your  
,,child   ,housekeeping1 in the sense of
 administering the work of the          
household1 has been raised almost to a  
science4 ,the same is true of the       
feeding of children4 ,but the training  
of children still lags behind1 so far as
 most of us are concerned1 in the stage 
occupied by housekeeping and farming a  
generation or two ago4 ,there has1      
indeed1 been developed a considerable   
mass of exact knowledge about the nature

 of the child1 and about the laws of his
 development2 but this knowledge has    
been for most parents a closed book4 ,it
 is not what the scientists know1 but   
what the people apply1 that marks our   
progress4  ,child-study has been        
considered something with which young   
normal-school students have to struggle 
before they begin their real struggle   
with bad boys4 ,but mothers have been   
expected to know1 through some divine   
instinct1 just how to handle their own  
children1 without any special study or  
preparation4 ,that the divine instinct  
has not taught them properly to feed the
 young infant and the growing child we  
have learned but slowly and at great    
cost in human life and suffering2 but we
 have learned it4 ,our next lesson      
should be to realize that our instincts 
cannot be relied upon when it comes to  
understanding the child's mind1 the     
meaning of his various activities1 and  
how best to guide his mental and moral  
development4  ,mistakes that            

parents--and teachers--make in dealing  
with the child's mind are not often     
fatal4 ,nor can you always trace the    
evil effects of such mistakes in the    
later character of the child4 ,but there
 can be no doubt that many of the       
heartbreaks1 misunderstandings1 and     
estrangements between parents and       
children are due to mistakes that could 
have been avoided by a knowledge of the 
nature of the child's mind4  ,there are1
 fortunately1 many parents who arrive at
 an understanding of the nature of the  
child through sympathetic insight1      
through quick observation1 through the  
application of sound sense and the      
results of experience to the problems   
that arise4 ,it is not necessary that   
all of us approach the child in the     
attitude of the professional scientist2 
indeed1 it is neither possible for us to
 do so1 nor is it desirable that we     
should4 ,but it is both possible and    
desirable that we make use of the       
experience and observations of others1  

that we apply the results of scientific 
experiments1 that we renforce our       
instincts with all available helps4 ,we 
need not fall into the all-too-common   
error of placing common-sense and       
practical insight in opposition to the  
method of the scientists4 ,everyone in  
this country appreciates the wonderful  
and valuable services of ,luther        
,burbank1 and no one doubts that if his 
method could be extended the whole      
nation would benefit in an economic way4
 ,yet ,burbank has been unable to teach 
the rest of us how to apply his shrewd  
common-sense and his keen intuition to  
the improvement of useful and ornamental
 plants4 ,it was necessary for          
scientists to study what he had done in 
order to make available for the whole   
world those principles that make his    
practice really productive of desirable 
results4 ,in the same way it is well for
 every parent and every                 
teacher--everyone who has to do with    
children--to supplement good sense and  

observation with the results of         
scientific study4  ,on the other hand1  
there is no universal formula for the   
bringing up of children1 one that can be
 applied to all children everywhere and 
always1 any more than there is a        
universal formula for fertilizing soil  
or curing disease or feeding babies4    
,yet there are certain general laws of  
child development and certain general   
principles of child training which have 
been derived from scientific studies of 
children1 and which agree with the best 
thought and experience of those who     
learned to know their children without  
the help of science4 ,these general laws
 and principles may be profitably       
learned and used in bringing up the     
rising generation4  ,too many people1   
and especially too many parents1 think  
of the child as merely a small man or   
woman4 ,this is far from a true         
conception of the child4 ,just as the   
physical organs of the child work in a  
manner different from what we find in   

the adult1 so the mind of the child     
works along in a way peculiar to its    
stage of development4 ,if a physician   
should use the same formulas for        
treating children's ailments as he uses 
with adults1 simply reducing the size of
 the dose1 we should consider his       
methods rather crude4 ,if a parent      
should feed an infant the same materials
 that she supplied to the rest of the   
family1 only in smaller quantities1 we  
should consider her too ignorant to be  
entrusted with the care of the child4   
,and for similar reasons we must learn  
that the behavior of the child must be  
judged according to standards different 
from those we apply to an adult4 ,the   
same act represents different motives in
 a child and in an adult--or in the same
 child at different ages4  ,moreover1   
each child is different from every other
 child in the whole world4 ,the law has 
recognized that a given act committed by
 two different persons may really be two
 entirely different acts1 from a moral  

point of view4 ,how much more important 
is it for the parent or the teacher to  
recognize that each child must be       
treated in accordance with his own      
nature6  ,it is the duty of every mother
 to know the nature of her child1 in    
order that she may assist in the        
development of all of his possibilities4
 ,child ,study is a new science1 but old
 enough to give us great help through   
what the experts have found out about   
child nature4 ,but the experts do not   
know your child2 they have studied the  
problems of childhood1 and their results
 you can use in learning to know your   
child4 ,your problem is always an       
individual problem2 the problem of the  
scientist is a general one4 ,from the   
general results1 however1 you may get   
suggestions for the solution of your    
individual problem4  ,we all know the   
mother who complains that her boys did  
not turn out just the way she wanted    
them to--although they are very good    
boys4 ,after they have grown up she     

suddenly realizes one day how far they  
are from her in spirit4 ,she could have 
avoided the disillusion by recognizing  
early enough that the interests and     
instincts of her boys were healthy ones1
 notwithstanding they were so different 
from her own4 ,she would have been more 
to the boys1 and they more to her1 if1  
instead of wasting her energy in trying 
to make them like herself1 she had tried
 to develop their tastes and            
inclinations to their full              
possibilities4  ,how much happier is the
 home in which the mother understands   
the children1 and knows how to treat    
each according to his disposition1      
instead of treating all by some         
arbitrary rule6 ,as a mother of three   
children said one day1 ,with ,mary1 just
 a hint of what ,i wish is sufficient to
 secure results4 ,with ,john1 ,i have to
 give a definite order and insist that  
he obey4 ,with ,robert ,i get the best  
results by explaining and appealing to  
his reason4 ,how much trouble she saves 

herself--and the children--by having    
found this much out6  ,a mother who     
knows that what we commonly call the    
spirit of destruction in a child is the 
same as the constructive impulse will   
not be so much grieved when her baby    
takes the alarm clock apart as the      
mother who looks upon this deed as an   
indication of depravity or wickedness4  
,illustration3 ,the impulse to action   
early leads to doing4  ,some of the     
directions in which the parents may     
profit from what the specialists have   
worked out may be suggested4 ,there is  
the question of punishment1 for example4
 ,how many of us have thought out a     
satisfactory philosophy of punishment8  
,in our personal relations with our     
children we all too frequently cling to 
the theory of punishment that justifies 
us in paying back for the trouble we    
have been caused--if1 indeed1 we do any 
more than vent our temper at the        
annoyance4 ,it is not viciousness on our
 part2 it is merely ignorance4 ,but the 

time is rapidly approaching when there  
will be no excuse for ignorance1 even if
 it is not yet time to say that         
preventable ignorance is vicious4  ,how 
many mothers1 for example1 realize that 
the desire on the part of the child to  
touch1 to do--to get into mischief--is a
 fundamental characteristic of          
childhood1 and not an indication of     
perversity in her particular ,johnny or 
,mary8 ,how many know that these        
instincts are the most useful and the   
most usable traits that the child has2  
that the checking of these impulses may 
mean the destruction of individual      
qualities of great importance in the    
formation of character8 ,how many know  
how wisely to direct these instincts    
without thwarting them8  ,how many      
mothers--good housewives--know anything 
at all about the imagination1 that      
crowning glory of the human mind8 ,they 
admire the poet's flights of fancy2 but 
when1 on being asked where his brother  
is1 ,harry says1 ,he went off in a      

great1 great1 big airship1 they feel the
 call of duty to punish him for his     
lies6  ,many of us have realized in a   
helpless sort of way that there is need 
for expert knowledge in these matters1  
and have comfortably shifted the        
responsibility to the teacher4 ,parents 
are often heard to say1 when a          
troublesome youngster is under          
discussion1 ,just wait until he begins  
to go to school4 ,it is not wise to     
wait4 ,there is much to be done before  
the school can be thought of1 or even   
before the kindergarten age is reached4 
,indeed1 a child is never too young to  
profit from the application of thought  
and knowledge to his treatment4  ,of    
course1 the training value of the       
school's work is not to be              
underestimated4 ,the social intercourse 
that the child experiences there1 the   
regularity of hours1 the teacher's      
personality1 all have their favorable   
influence in the molding of the child's 
character4 ,but neither must we         

overestimate the powers of the school4  
,the school has the child but a few     
hours a day1 for barely more than half  
the year2 the classes are unconscionably
 large4 ,we all hope that the classes   
will be made smaller1 but they never can
 be small enough1 within our own times1 
for the purpose of really effective     
moral training4 ,the relations between  
teacher and pupil can never be as       
intimate as are those of parent and     
child4 ,the teacher knows the child1 as 
a rule1 only as a member of a group and 
under special circumstances2 the parents
 alone have the opportunity to know     
closely the individual peculiarities of 
the child2 they alone can know him in   
health and in sickness1 in joy and in   
sorrow1 in his strength and in his      
weakness4 ,the parents can watch their  
child from day to day1 year after year2 
whereas the teacher sees the child for a
 comparatively short period of his      
development1 and then passes him on to  
another4  ,the time was--and for most of

 our children still is--when the teacher
 had to know nothing but her subjects2  
the nature of the child was to her as   
great a mystery as it is to the ordinary
 person who never learned anything about
 it4 ,she was supposed to deal with the 
average child that does not exist1 and  
to attempt the futile task of drawing   
the laggard up to this arbitrary average
 and of holding the genius down to it4  
,the effort is being made to have the   
teacher recognize the individuality of  
each child2 but the mother is still     
expected to confine her ministrations to
 his individual digestion4  ,in a dozen 
different ways the effective methods in 
the treatment of children1 at home or in
 school1 in the church or on the        
playground1 depend upon knowledge and   
understanding1 as is the case in all    
practical activities4 ,instincts alone  
are never sufficient to tell us what to 
do1 notwithstanding the fact that so    
much really valuable work has been      
achieved in the past without any special

 training4  ,it may be true that in the 
past the instincts of the child adapted 
him to the needs of life4 ,it may also  
be true that the instincts of adults    
adapted them in the past to their proper
 treatment of children4 ,we should      
realize1 however1 that the conditions of
 modern life are so complex that few of 
us know just what to do under given     
conditions unless we have made a special
 effort to find out4 ,and this is just  
as true of the treatment of children as 
it is of the care of the health1 or of  
the building of bridges4 ,it is for this
 reason that the results of child study 
are important to all who have to do with
 children--whether as teachers or as    
parents1 whether as club leaders or as  
directors of institutions1 whether as   
social workers or as loving uncles and  
aunts4  ,it is impossible to guarantee  
to anyone that a study of child nature  
will enable him or her to train children
 into models of good behavior4          
,knowledge alone does not always produce

 the desired results2 nevertheless1 an  
understanding of the child should enable
 those who have to deal with him to     
assume an attitude that will reduce in a
 great measure their annoyance at the   
various awkward and inconsiderate and   
mischievous acts of the youngsters4     
,such a study should make possible a    
closer intimacy with the child4 ,and1   
finally1 it should make possible a      
longer continuance of that intimacy with
 the child1 which is so helpful for     
those in authority as well as for the   
child himself4     ,,ii4  ,,the         
,,problem ,,of ,,punishment   ,picture  
to yourself a dark hallway4 ,behind the 
door stands an indignant mother with a  
strap in her hand4 ,it is past the      
dinner hour and ,william has not yet    
returned4 ,but here he is now4 ,he comes
 bounding up the steps1 radiantly happy1
 and under each arm a pumpkin4 ,he      
bursts into the house4 ,his mother      
seizes him by the shoulder and proceeds 
to apply the strap where she thinks it  

will do the most good4 ,the little boy  
is ,william ,j4 ,stillman1 and the story
 is told in his autobiography4 ,he tells
 how just an hour before dinner a       
neighboring farmer had asked him to go  
to his field to shake down the fruit    
from two apple trees4 ,william was so   
glad to do something for which he would 
receive pay that he allowed the work to 
trench upon his dinner-time4 ,the two   
large pumpkins he brought were his pay1 
and he knew that they meant a great deal
 to his needy family4 ,stillman1 in     
writing of the incident1 continues3 ,it 
is more than sixty years since that     
punishment fell on my shoulders1 but the
 astonishment with which ,i received the
 flogging1 instead of the thanks which  
,i anticipated for the wages ,i was     
bringing her1 the haste with which any  
mother administered it lest my father   
should anticipate her and beat me after 
his own fashion1 are as vivid in my     
recollection as if it had taken place   
yesterday4  ,while ,i hope that not many

 of us are guilty of such flagrant abuse
 of our power as is described above1    
still ,i am certain that on many        
occasions we punish just as hastily1    
without giving a chance for explanation 
and with as little thought as to whether
 the punishment fits the crime4  ,i have
 often been impressed by the great      
interest that mothers take in uses of   
punishment and in kinds of punishment4  
,it has sometimes seemed as if the most 
valuable thing which they could carry   
away with them from some child-study    
meeting was a new kind of punishment for
 some very common offence4 ,i have      
frequently felt as if the only contact  
some mothers have with their children is
 to punish them1 and that punishment    
constituted the chief part of the poor  
children's training4  ,now1 punishment  
undoubtedly has a place in the training 
of children1 but only a negative place4 
,the proper punishment1 administered in 
the right spirit1 may cure or correct a 
fault2 but punishment does not make     

children good4 ,if children are punished
 frequently1 it may even make them bad4 
,we can all remember some of the        
punishments of our own childhood4 ,how  
unjust they seemed then1 and do even    
now1 after all these years to heal the  
wounds6 ,how outraged we felt6 ,into how
 unloving a mood they put us6  ,the     
history of punishment for criminals     
shows us three stages4 ,with primitive  
peoples and in early times the first    
impulse is to get even or to strike     
back4 ,an eye for an eye--nothing less  
would do4 ,then comes a stage in which  
punishment is used to frighten people   
from wrong-doing and as a warning--a    
deterrent for others4 ,gradually1 very1 
very slowly1 as we become more civilized
 and develop moral insight--develop a   
love for humanity--we come to recognize 
that the only legitimate purpose of     
punishment in the treatment of offenders
 is to redeem their characters1 to make 
them positively better1 not merely      
frighten them into a state of apparent  

right-doing--that is1 a state of        
avoiding wrong-doing4  ,it is said that 
each individual in his development lives
 over the experiences of the race4 ,how 
each of us passes through the three     
attitudes toward punishment is very     
interestingly shown by a study that was 
made some years ago on #cjjj school     
children1 to find out their own ideas   
about punishment4 ,miss ,margaret ,e4   
,schallenberger sent out the following  
story and query and had the answers     
tabulated3  ,jennie had a beautiful new 
box of paints2 and in the afternoon1    
while her mother was gone1 she painted  
all the chairs in the parlor1 so as to  
make them look nice for her mother4     
,when the mother came home1 ,jennie ran 
to meet her and said3 ,oh1 mamma1 come  
and see how pretty ,i have made the     
parlor4 ,but her mamma took her paints  
away and sent her to bed4 ,if you had   
been her mother1 what would you have    
done or said to ,jennie8  ,in the       
answers the most striking thing is the  

range of reasons given by the children  
for punishing ,jennie4 ,there are three 
prominent reasons4  ,the first is       
clearly for revenge4 ,jennie was a bad  
girl2 she made her mother unhappy2 she  
must be made unhappy4 ,she made her     
mother angry2 she must be made angry4 ,a
 boy of ten says3 ,i would have sent    
,jennie to bed and not given her any    
supper1 and then she would get mad and  
cry4 ,one boy of nine says3 ,if ,i had  
been that woman ,i would have half      
killed her4 ,a sweet 787 little girl    
would make her paint things until she is
 got enough of it4 ,another girl3 ,if ,i
 had been ,jennie's mother1 ,i would of 
painted ,jennie's face and hands and    
toes4 ,i would of switched her well4 ,i 
would of washed her mouth out with soap 
and water1 and ,i should stand her on   
the floor for half an hour4  ,this view 
was taken mostly by the younger         
children4  ,the second reason for       
punishing is to prevent a repetition of 
the act4 ,a thirteen year old girl says3

 ,i would take the paints away and not  
let her have them until she learned not 
to do that again4 ,when a threat is used
 it is with the same idea in view3 ,i   
wouldn't do anything just then1 but ,i  
would have said3 ',if you do that any   
more ,i would whip you and send you to  
bed besides6' ,all trace of revenge has 
disappeared4  ,the third stage of       
punishment is higher still4 ,jennie is  
punished in order to reform her4 ,in the
 previous examples the act was          
all-important4 ,now ,jennie and her     
moral condition come into the           
foreground4 ,none of the younger        
children take the trouble to explain to 
,jennie why it was wrong to paint the   
parlor chairs4 ,a large percentage of   
the older ones do so explain4  ,a       
country boy of fourteen says3 ,i would  
have took her with me into the parlor1  
and ,i would have talked to her about   
the injury she had done to the chairs1  
and talked kindly to her1 and explained 
to her that the paints were not what was

 put on chairs to make them look nice4  
,a girl of sixteen says3 ,i think that  
the mother was very unwise to lose her  
temper over something which the child   
had done to please her4 ,i think it     
would have been far wiser in her to have
 kissed the little one1 and then        
explained to her how much mischief she  
had done in trying to please her mother4
  ,we can see from this study that the  
children themselves are capable of      
reaching a rather lofty attitude toward 
wrong-doing and punishment1 yet these   
children when grown up--that is1 we     
ourselves--so frequently return to a    
more primitive way of looking at these  
problems4 ,in punishing our children we 
go back to the method of the five- and  
six-year-old4  ,what is the reason for  
our apparent back-sliding8 ,is it not   
plainly the fact that we allow ourselves
 to be mastered by the animal instinct  
to strike back8 ,when the child does    
something that causes annoyance or even 
damage1 do we stop to consider his      

motive1 his intent1 or do we only       
respond to the result of his action8 ,do
 we have a studied policy for treating  
his offence1 or do we slide back to the 
desire to get even or to pay him for    
what he has done8  ,sometimes a very    
small offence will have grave           
consequences1 while a really serious    
fault may cause but little trouble4     
,here1 for instance1 is ,harry1 who was 
so intent upon chasing the woodchuck    
that he ran through the new-sown field1 
trampling down the earth4 ,he caused    
considerable damage4 ,if your punishment
 assumes the proportion dictated by the 
anger which the harm caused1 he         
certainly will be dealt with severely4  
,knowing that he had not meant to do    
wrong1 he cannot help but feel the      
injustice of your wrath4 ,of course1 he 
has been careless and he must be        
impressed with the harm such            
carelessness can cause4 ,whether you    
lock him in a room or deprive him of    
some special pleasure1 or whether you   

merely talk to him1 depends upon you and
 upon ,harry4 ,but one thing must be    
certain3 ,harry must not get the notion 
that you are avenging yourself upon him 
for the harm he has done1 or for the    
ill-feeling aroused by his act--he must 
not feel that you are taking it out of  
him because you have been made angry4   
,this brings us to the old rule3 ,never 
punish in anger4  ,on the other hand1   
while we must allow every trace of anger
 to disappear1 we must not allow so much
 time to elapse as to make the child    
lose the connection between his act and 
the consequence4 ,a little boy at       
breakfast threw some salt upon his      
sister's apple in a spirit of mischief4 
,the mother sent him out of the room and
 told him that he would have to go to   
bed two hours earlier than usual that   
night as a punishment for his misdeed4  
,now we all know that the days of youth 
are long1 long days1 and the many events
 of that day had completely crowded out 
of the little boy's mind the trivial1   

impulsive act of the morning4 ,the      
punishment could not arouse in him any  
feeling but that of unjust privation4   
,this particular case illustrates three 
other problems in connection with       
punishment4 ,in the first place1 nothing
 that is considered desirable or        
beneficial should be brought into       
disfavor by being used as a punishment4 
,sleep is a blessing1 and1 it may be    
said in general1 no healthy child gets  
too much of it4 ,by imposing two hours  
of additional sleep upon the child the  
mother discredits sleeping4 ,it isn't   
logical4 ,it is as unreasonable as that 
once favorite punishment of teachers1   
now rapidly being discarded1 of keeping 
children after school4 ,on the one side 
they are told how grateful they should  
be for this great boon of education1 and
 for being allowed to come to school1   
and then they are told3 ,you have been  
very bad and troublesome to-day2 as a   
punishment you shall have an extra hour 
of this great privilege4  ,the second   

point is that no punishment should ever 
deprive a child of conditions that are  
necessary for his health or impose      
conditions that are harmful4 ,and1      
finally1 it is not wise to exaggerate   
the importance of trivial acts by       
treating them too seriously4 ,the little
 boy tried to be smart when he threw    
that salt4 ,with nearly every child it  
would be sufficient1 in a case like     
this1 to make him feel that it was      
really very silly and that he had made  
himself ridiculous in the eyes of the   
family4  ,very often the seriousness of 
a child's offence is greatly            
exaggerated4 ,we must not waste our     
ammunition on these small matters2 if we
 use our strongest terms of disapproval 
for the many little everyday vexations1 
we shall be left quite without resource 
when something really serious does      
occur4 ,children are very sensitive to  
such exaggerations1 and their attention 
is so much taken up with the injustice  
of making a big ado about such trifles  

that they overlook what is reprehensible
 in their own conduct4  ,some of the    
greatest authorities believe that a     
child should be allowed to suffer the   
consequences of his deeds4 ,we should   
borrow from nature1 they say1 her method
 of dealing with offenders4 ,if a child 
touches fire he will be burnt1 and each 
time the same effect will follow his    
deed4 ,why not let our punishments be as
 certain and uniform in their reaction8 
,to a certain extent this plan can be   
followed4 ,if a little girl stubbornly  
refuses to wear her mittens1 it is all  
right to let her suffer the             
consequences1 the natural               
consequences--and let her hands get     
quite cold4  ,but this principle cannot 
be consistently applied as a general    
method4 ,if a child insists upon leaning
 far out of the window it would be      
foolish to let him suffer the           
consequences and fall1 possibly to his  
death4 ,part of our function is to      
prevent our children from suffering all 

the possible consequences of their      
actions4 ,we are here to guide them and 
to protect them4  ,to abandon the child 
to the natural consequences of his moral
 actions would be even more harmful1 for
 very often we must separate the child  
from his fault4 ,this is true in a      
double sense4 ,in the first place1 we   
are concerned chiefly in removing the   
child's faults1 as a physician seeks to 
separate a patient from his sickness4   
,but we must also avoid the error of    
identifying any fault with the          
fundamental nature of the child2 that   
is1 we must keep before us the character
 of the child as distinct from the wrong
 acts which the child may commit4 ,if a 
child lies1 that does not make of him a 
liar1 any more than does his failure to 
understand what he has just been told   
make of him a blockhead4 ,yet the       
natural consequence of lying1 for       
instance1 is to be mistrusted in the    
future--to be branded a liar4 ,this1    
however1 is one of the worst things that

 can happen to a child1 and one of the  
surest ways of making him a habitual    
liar4 ,many children pass through a     
stage in which they naturally come to   
have the feeling which is expressed in  
the saying3 ,if ,i have the name1 ,i may
 as well have the game4 ,we must show   
the child that we have unbounded        
confidence in him1 otherwise he will    
lose faith in himself4  ,it is clear1   
then1 that the natural method will not  
work in such cases1 for the impulse to  
condemn the child after he has committed
 a wrong deed1 instead of condemning the
 deed1 may merely help to fix upon him  
the habit of committing similar deeds in
 the future4  ,in ,nature1 too1 the same
 punishment invariably follows the same 
offence4 ,if we try to imitate that     
method1 the child soon learns what he   
has to reckon with4 ,if the child knows 
that a certain action will produce a    
certain result1 he often thinks it is   
worth the price4 ,then the child feels  
that he has had his way1 and1 having    

paid the price1 the account is squared2 
so he feels justified in doing the same 
thing again4 ,in following this course  
we defeat our own ends1 as this kind of 
punishment does not act as a fine moral 
deterrent4  ,scolding as a punishment is
 also not efficacious4 ,we are justified
 in having our indignation aroused at   
times and in letting the offender feel  
our displeasure4 ,there is something    
calm and impressive about genuine       
indignation1 while scolding is apt to   
become nagging and to arouse contempt in
 the child4  ,when we consider the many 
difficulties of finding a punishment    
exactly fitted to the offence in a way  
that will make the offender avoid       
repetition1 we are tempted to resort to 
sermonizing and reasoning1 for through  
our words we hope at times to establish 
in the child's mind a direct relation   
between his conduct and the undesirable 
consequences that spring from it4  ,in  
doing this1 however1 we should not speak
 in generalities1 but bring before the  

child's mind concrete examples of his   
own objectionable acts from recent      
experience4 ,it is useless to tell ,john
 how important it is to be punctual and 
let it go at that2 it is not enough even
 to tell him that he often fails to be  
on time4 ,if you can remind him that he 
was late for dinner on ,wednesday1      
missed the letter-carrier twice last    
month1 and delayed attending to an      
errand ,monday until all the shops were 
closed1 you have him where he can       
understand your point4 ,mary will listen
 respectfully enough to a homily on     
being considerate1 but it will have     
little effect upon her compared to      
bringing before her a picture of some of
 her actions3 how1 instead of coming    
right home from school the day you were 
not feeling well1 and helping you with  
some of your tasks1 she had gone to     
visit a friend just that afternoon4     
,but reasoning with a child often fails 
to accomplish its purpose1 because the  
child's reasoning is so different from  

that of an adult4 ,unless there is a    
nearly perfect understanding of the     
workings of the child's mind1 reasoning 
is frequently futile4 ,a seven-year-old 
boy who had received a long lecture on  
the impropriety of keeping dead crabs in
 his pockets said1 after it was all     
over3 ,well1 they were alive when ,i put
 them in4 ,you are wasting a lot of my  
precious time4 ,these little brains have
 a way of working out combinations that 
seem weird to us grown-ups4  ,only with 
a child of a certain type and a parent  
able to understand the workings of his  
mind may the method of reasoning work   
satisfactorily in correcting faults and 
establishing good habits and ideals4    
,no discussion of this subject would be 
complete without a word on corporal     
punishment4 ,it is impossible here to   
present all the arguments for or against
 it4 ,i am sure1 however1 that the most 
enthusiastic advocates of it will admit 
that it is not always practised with    
discretion and that it is in most cases 

not only unnecessary but positively     
harmful4 ,children that are treated like
 animals will behave like animals2      
violence and brutality do not bring out 
the best in a child's nature4 ,it would 
seem that intelligent parents do not    
need to resort to such methods in the   
training of normal children4  ,as       
suggested by our veteran novelist1      
,william ,dean ,howells1 we have clung  
to the wisdom of ,solomon1 in this      
respect1 through centuries of changing  
conditions4 ,solomon said3 ,spare the   
rod and spoil the child2 ,mr4 ,howells  
suggests that we might with profit spoil
 the rod and spare the child4 ,in the   
small families of to-day there is no    
need to cling to the methods that may   
have worked well enough with the        
,oriental1 polygamous despot1 who never 
could know all his children             
individually1 and it is therefore hardly
 necessary to use ,solomon as our       
authority4  ,it is plain1 then1 that it 
is impossible to recommend any          

punishment as the correct one1 or even  
to recommend any one infallible rule4   
,this must depend upon the parent1 upon 
the child1 and upon the circumstances4  
,but there are certain definite         
principles which we must keep in mind   
and which will do much toward making our
 task of discipline more rational3  ,we 
must never punish in anger4  ,we must   
consider the motive and the temptations 
before the consequence of the deed4  ,we
 must condemn the deed and not the      
child4  ,we must be sure that the child 
understands exactly the offence with    
which he is charged4  ,we must be sure  
that he sees the relation of the offence
 to the punishment4  ,we must never     
administer any excessive or unusual     
punishment4  ,we must not exaggerate the
 magnitude of the offence4  ,if we keep 
these principles in mind we may not     
always be right1 but we shall certainly 
be right more often than if we had no   
policy or definite ideas4 ,but1 above   
all1 we must recognize that punishment  

is only a corrective1 and that it is our
 duty to build up the positive virtues4 
,let us expend our energy in the effort 
to establish good habits and ideals1 and
 the child will shed many of the faults 
which now occupy the centre of our      
interest and attention4  ,in a family   
where the proper spirit of intimacy and 
mutual understanding and forbearance    
reigns punishment will be relegated to  
its proper place--namely1 the medicine  
closet--and not be used as daily bread4 
,for punishment is a medicine--a        
corrective--and when we administer it we
 must do in the spirit of the physician4
 ,we do not wish to be quacks and have  
one patent remedy to cure all evils2    
but1 like physicians worthy of their    
trust1 we must study the ailment and its
 causes1 and above all must we study the
 patient4 ,the same remedy will not do  
for all constitutions4 ,therefore the   
punishment must not only fit the crime1 
but it must also be made to fit the     
criminal4  ,love and patience are the   

secret of child management4 ,love which 
can fare from the chilliest soul2       
patience which knows how to wait for the
 harvest4     ,,iii4  ,,when ,,your     
,,child ,,imagines ,,things   ,johnny   
was playing in the room while his mother
 was sewing at the window4 ,johnny      
looked out of the window and exclaimed1 
,oh1 mother1 see that great big lion6   
,his mother looked1 but saw only a      
medium-sized dog4  ,why1 ,johnny1       
replied the mother1 how can you say such
 a thing8 ,you know very well that was  
only a dog4 ,now go right in the corner 
and pray to ,god to forgive you for     
telling such a lie6  ,johnny went4 ,when
 he came back1 he said triumphantly1    
,see1 mother1 ,god said ,he thought it  
was a lion ,himself4  ,this poor mother 
is a typical example of a large class of
 mothers who fail to understand their   
children because they have no idea of   
what goes on in the child's mind4 ,to   
,johnny the lion was just as real as the
 dog was to the mother4 ,and even if the

 dog had not been there for the mother  
to see1 ,johnny could have seen just as 
real a lion4  ,every mother ought to    
know that practically every healthy     
child has imagination4 ,you will have to
 take a long day's journey to find a    
child that has no imagination to begin  
with--and then you will find that this  
child is wonderfully uninteresting1 or  
actually stupid4  ,you can easily       
observe for yourself that as soon as a  
child knows a large number of objects   
and persons and names he will begin to  
rearrange his bits of knowledge into new
 combinations1 and in this way make a   
little world of his own4 ,in this world1
 beasts and furniture and flowers talk  
and have adventures4 ,when the dew is on
 the grass1 the grass is crying4        
,butterflies are flying pansies4        
,lightning is the sky winking1 and so   
on4 ,this activity of the child's mind  
begins at about two years1 and reaches  
its height between the ages of four and 
six4 ,but it continues through life with

 greater or less intensity1 according to
 circumstances and original disposition4
  ,it is not only the poet and artist   
who need imagination1 but all of us in  
our everyday concerns4 ,do you realize  
that the person to whom you like so much
 to talk about your affairs1 because she
 is so sympathetic1 is sympathetic      
because she has imagination8 ,for       
without imagination we cannot put       
ourselves in the place of another1 and  
much of the misery in the relation      
between human beings exists because so  
many of us are unable to do this4 ,the  
happy cannot realize the needs of the   
miserable1 and the miserable cannot     
understand why anyone should be         
happy--if they lack imagination4  ,the  
need for imagination1 far from being    
confined to dreamers and persons who    
dwell in the clouds1 is of great        
practical importance in the development 
of mind and character4 ,imagination is a
 direct help in learning1 and in        
developing sympathy4 ,as one of our     

great moral leaders1 ,felix ,adler1 has 
said1 much of the selfishness of the    
world is due1 not to actual             
hard-heartedness1 but to lack of        
imaginative power4  ,we all know the    
classic example of ,queen ,marie        
,antoinette1 who1 when told that the    
people were rioting for want of bread1  
exclaimed1 ,why1 let them eat cake      
instead6 ,brought up in luxury1 she     
could not realize what absolute want    
means4 ,she had no imagination4  ,the   
world has progressed1 but we still have 
among us the same type of unfortunate   
persons who are unable to put themselves
 in the place of others4 ,i recently    
heard of a woman who1 on being told of a
 family so poor that they had had       
nothing but cold potatoes for supper the
 night before1 replied3  ,they may be   
poor1 but the mother must be a very bad 
housekeeper1 anyway4 ,for1 even if they 
had nothing but potatoes to eat1 she    
might at least have fried them4  ,like  
her royal prototype1 this modern woman  

had not the imagination to realize that 
a family could be so poor as to be in   
want of fuel4  ,but being able to put   
yourself in the place of another is of  
importance not only from the strictly   
moral point of view4 ,you can easily see
 how it will affect one's everyday      
relations1 how it will be of great help 
in avoiding misunderstandings of all    
kinds--as between mother and child1     
between mistress and maid1 etc4  ,if    
parents would only realize this         
importance of imagination1 and not look 
upon it as a vain thing1 they would not 
merely allow the child's imagination to 
take its own course2 they would actually
 make efforts to cultivate and encourage
 it4 ,in this way they would not only   
aid the child in becoming a better and  
more sympathetic man or woman1 but would
 also add much to the happiness of the  
child4  ,unless we have given special   
thought to this matter1 most of us      
grown-ups do not appreciate how very    
real the child's world of make-believe  

is to him1 and how essential to his     
happiness that we do not break into it  
rudely4 ,when one of my boys was two and
 a half years old he was one day playing
 with an imaginary baby sister4 ,a      
member of the household came into the   
room1 whereupon he immediately broke out
 in wild screaming and became very much 
agitated4 ,it took some time to quiet   
him and to find out that the cause of   
all his trouble was the fact that this  
person had inadvertently stepped upon   
his imaginary sister1 whom he had placed
 upon the floor4 ,before him he saw his 
little sister crushed1 and great were   
his horror and grief4  ,i know from this
 experience and many others that if we  
do not enter into the child's world and 
try to understand the working of his    
mind we will often find him naughty1    
when he is not naughty at all4 ,in the  
example given it would have been very   
easy to follow the first impulse to     
reprove the child for what seemed very  
unreasonable conduct on his part4 ,and  

such cases arise constantly4  ,how      
completely the child throws himself into
 an imaginary character is shown by an  
incident which occurred recently4 ,a    
little boy of four1 who had been        
accustomed to speak only ,german at     
home1 was playing doctor1 and was so    
absorbed in the play that when          
dinner-time came he was loath to abandon
 the role4 ,his mother1 to avoid delay1 
simply said1 ,i think we will invite the
 doctor to have dinner with us1 and he  
promptly accepted the invitation4 ,when 
the maid came in1 he said in ,english1  
,what is her name8  ,marie1 the mother  
replied4 ,isn't that ,mary in ,english8 
the child politely inquired4 ,you see1  
,i cannot speak ,german1 for my mother  
never taught me4 ,and although this     
little boy never spoke ,english to his  
parents nor his parents to him1 as      
doctor he spoke ,english throughout the 
meal4  ,many parents enter spontaneously
 into the spirit of their children's    
games1 and make believe with the best of

 them4 ,they pity poor ,johnny when he  
screams with terror at the attack of the
 make-believe bear1 and take great joy  
in admiring the make-believe kitten4 ,if
 we but realized how all this make      
believe helps in the development of     
character and in the gaining of         
knowledge1 all parents would try to     
develop the child's imagination1 and not
 only those who have the gift           
intuitively4 ,it is the child's natural 
way of learning things1 of getting      
acquainted with all living and inanimate
 objects in his environment4 ,it        
sharpens his observation4 ,a child who  
tries to act a horse1 for example1 will 
be much more apt to notice all the      
different activities and habits of the  
horse in his various relations than a   
child who merely observes passively4  ,a
 child with imagination1 when receiving 
directions or instructions1 can picture 
to himself what he is expected to do1   
and easily translates his instructions  
into action4 ,to the unimaginative child

 the directions given will be so many   
words1 and he cannot carry out these    
instructions as effectively4  ,again and
 again teachers find that pupils fail to
 carry out orders1 though able1 when    
asked1 to repeat word for word the      
instructions given them4  ,the plaintive
 inquiry1 ,what shall ,i do now8 is much
 more frequently heard from the child   
who is unimaginative or who has had the 
play of his imagination curbed4 ,for the
 child can be whatever he wishes1 and   
have whatever he likes1 his heart's     
desire is at his finger's end1 once his 
imagination is free4 ,the rocking-chair 
can be a great big ship1 the carpet a   
rolling sea1 and at most a suggestion is
 needed from the busy mother4 ,a few    
chairs can be a train of cars and keep  
him occupied for hours4 ,a wooden box is
 transformed into a mighty              
locomotive--in fact1 give an imaginative
 child almost anything1 a string of     
beads1 or a piece of colored glass1 and 
out of it his imagination will construct

 great happiness4  ,a normal child does 
not need elaborate toys4 ,the only      
function of a toy1 as someone has well  
said1 is to serve as lay figures upon   
which the child's imagination can weave 
and drape its fancy4  ,although parents 
have not always understood what goes on 
in the child's mind when he is so busy  
with his play1 our poets and lovers of  
children have had a deeper insight4     
,stevenson1 in his poem ,my ,kingdom1   
shows us how1 with the touch of         
imagination1 the child transforms the   
commonplace objects of his surroundings 
into material for rich romance3  ,down  
by a shining water well ,i found a very 
little dell1   ,no higher than my head4 
,the heather and the gorse about ,in    
summer bloom were coming out1   ,some   
yellow and some red4  ,i called the     
little pool a sea3 ,the little hills    
were big to me2   ,for ,i am very small4
 ,i made boat1 ,i made a town1 ,i       
searched the caverns up and down1   ,and
 named them one and all4  ,and all about

 was mine1 ,i said1 ,the little sparrows
 overhead1   ,the little minnows1 too4  
,this was the world and ,i was king3    
,for me the bees came by to sing1   ,for
 me the swallows flew4  ,i played there 
were no deeper seas1 ,nor any wilder    
plains than these1   ,nor other kings   
than me4 ,at last ,i hear my mother call
 ,out from the house at evenfall1   ,to 
call me home to tea4  ,and ,i must rise 
and leave my dell1 ,and leave my dimpled
 water well1   ,and leave my heather    
blooms4 ,alas6 and as my home ,i neared1
 ,how very big my nurse appeared1   ,how
 great and cool the rooms6  ,some       
children do not even need objects as a  
starting point for their imaginative    
activity4 ,they can just conjure up     
persons and things to serve as material 
for their play4 ,many children1 when    
alone1 have imaginary companions4 ,one  
little boy1 when taken out for his      
airing1 daily met an imaginary friend1  
whom he called ,buster4 ,as soon as he  
stepped out of the house he uttered a   

peculiar call1 to which ,buster         
replied--though no one but he heard     
him--and he would run to meet him and   
they would have a lovely time together1 
sometimes for hours at a stretch4       
,another little child received a daily  
visit from an imaginary cow4 ,there was 
a certain place in the living-room where
 this red cow with white spots would    
appear4 ,the child would go through the 
motions of feeding her1 patting her1 and
 bringing her water4  ,in these two     
cases the companionship lasted but a few
 months1 but there are children whose   
imaginary companions grow up with them  
and get older as they get older4        
,illustration3 ,imagination supplies    
this two-year-old a prancing steed4  ,in
 some instances there is a group of such
 imaginary companions1 and their        
activities constitute a continued story1
 of which the child is a living centre1 
although not necessarily the hero4  ,it 
seems to me that the power to create his
 own friends must be a great boon to a  

child who is forced to be alone a great 
deal or has no congenial companions4    
,there need be no fear--except perhaps  
in very extreme cases--that such        
activity of the imagination is morbid4  
,a little girl who plays with her dolls 
is really doing the same thing1 only    
that she has a symbol for each of her   
imaginary companions4  ,but although an 
imaginative child is much easier to     
teach later on1 and although he does not
 trouble you with the incessant nagging 
,what shall ,i do now8 the mother whose 
idea of good conduct is keeping quiet   
will find the unimaginative child much  
easier to care for4 ,he is very much    
less active and therefore less          
troublesome4 ,this explains why this    
priceless gift of imagination has so    
often been discouraged by parents and   
teachers4 ,but they did not know that   
they were actually harming the child by 
so discouraging him1 or1 let us hope1   
they would not have chosen the easier   
way4 ,for1 after all1 we are not looking

 for the easiest way of getting along   
with children1 but for the best1 and the
 best for them will prove in the end to 
be the best for us4  ,it must certainly 
try your patience1 when you are tired1  
at the end of a day's work1 to have     
,harry refuse to come to be put to bed  
because you called him ,harry2 and he   
replies1 perhaps somewhat crossly3 ,i am
 not ,harry1 ,i told you4 ,i am little  
,jack ,horner1 and ,i have to sit in my 
corner4 ,but no matter how hard it may  
seem1 do not get discouraged4 ,once you 
are fully aware of the importance of    
what seems to be but silly play1 you    
will add this one more to your many     
sacrifices1 and find that it will bring 
returns a hundredfold4 ,and1 after all1 
as in so many other problems1 when you  
resolve to make the sacrifice1 it turns 
out to be no sacrifice4 ,for1 once you  
approach the problem in an understanding
 spirit1 the flights of the child's     
imagination will give you untold        
pleasure4  ,another reason why          

imagination has been suppressed by those
 who are in charge of children is the   
fear that it will lead to the formation 
of habits of untruthfulness4 ,it is very
 hard to realize1 unless you understand 
the child's nature1 that the child is   
not lying when he says something that is
 manifestly not so to you and the other 
adults4 ,i have heard children reproved 
for lying when ,i was sure that they had
 no idea of what a lie is4 ,in one      
family an older boy broke a plate and1  
when charged with the deed1 denied it   
flatly4 ,his little brother1 however1   
confessed and described just how he had 
broken it4 ,now1 the older boy was      
telling a falsehood consciously--       
probably from fear of punishment4 ,the  
little fellow1 however1 was not telling 
an untruth--from his point of view4 ,he 
really imagined having broken that      
plate4 ,he had heard the event discussed
 by the family until all the incidents  
were vivid to him and he pictured       
himself as the hero4  ,up to a certain  

time it is impossible for the child to  
distinguish between what we call real   
and his make-believe4 ,both are equally 
real to him1 and the make-believe is    
ever so much more interesting4  ,until  
about the fifth year a child does not   
know that he is imagining2 between the  
ages of four and six the imaginative    
period is at its height1 and there      
begins to appear a sort of undercurrent 
of consciousness that it is all         
make-believe1 and this heightens the    
pleasure of trying to make it seem real4
 ,gradually the child learns to         
distinguish between imaginary           
experiences and real ones1 but until you
 are quite certain that he does         
distinguish1 do not attach any moral    
significance to his stories4 ,should an 
older child be inclined to tell         
falsehoods1 you may be sure that this is
 not because his imagination has been   
cultivated4 ,there are then other       
reasons and causes1 and they must be    
studied on their own account4  ,after   

you come to a clear appreciation of the 
value of imagination in the child's     
development you will1 instead of        
suppressing his feelings1 look around   
for ways of encouraging this activity of
 his mind4 ,you will see a new value in 
fairy tales and fables and a new        
significance in every turn of his fancy4
     ,,iv4  ,,the ,,lies ,,children     
,,tell   ,none of the petty vices of    
childhood appears to shock adults so    
much as lying2 and none is more         
widespread among children--and among    
adults4 ,as we are speaking of children1
 however1 it is enough to say that all  
children lie--constantly1 persistently1 
universally4 ,perhaps you will be less  
grieved by the lies of your children1   
and less loath to admit that they do    
lie1 if you realize that all children   
lie4 ,the mother who tells you that her 
child never lies is either deceiving    
herself or trying to impress you with   
the superiority of her off-spring4 ,in  
her case the untruthfulness of childhood

 has not been remedied4  ,however1      
although lying is so common1 that is no 
reason for ignoring the lies of         
children4 ,they have to be taught to    
know the truth1 and to speak it and to  
act it4 ,and they can be taught4 ,the   
,psalmist said1 ,all men are liars2 but 
he spoke hastily1 as he afterward       
learned4 ,all of us are probably born   
with instincts that make it easy for us 
to acquire the art of lying2 but we have
 also the instincts that make us love   
the truth and speak it4 ,indeed1 a child
 may acquire a hatred of untruth that is
 so keen as to be positively            
distressing2 and this condition is just 
as morbid and undesirable as that of the
 other extreme1 which accepts lies as   
the usual thing4  ,as in other problems 
connected with the bringing up of       
children1 the first and the last aim    
should be to understand the child1 the  
individual1 particular child4 ,will your
 child become a habitual liar1 or will  
he simply outgrow the tendency toward   

untruthfulness1 as he will leave other  
childish things behind him8 ,it is      
impossible to tell2 but for the vast    
majority of children a great deal       
depends upon the kind of treatment      
given4 ,if you do not treat the lies of 
your children understandingly1 there is 
the danger that you will bring out other
 characteristics1 perhaps even more     
undesirable ones--such as cruelty1      
vindictiveness1 or even actual deceit4  
,we must recognize that there is no     
general faculty of lying4 ,it is very   
easy for us to class as lies every word 
and every act that is not in complete   
harmony with the facts--as we understand
 them4 ,but there are many kinds of     
lies1 as well as many degrees of them4  
,a child that is branded a liar has     
undoubtedly given abundant occasion for 
mistrust1 and has lied aplenty2 but     
undoubtedly also he has specialized in  
his lying1 and would be incapable of    
certain kinds of lies that are common   
enough with other children4 ,as we are  

the judges of our children in all of    
their misdeeds1 we must preserve not    
only a judicious attitude1 but we must  
really be just4 ,and to this end it is  
essential that we take into             
consideration all the circumstances that
 lead to a lie1 including the motives1  
as well as the special traits of the    
particular child4  ,the first thing that
 we should keep always in mind is that  
the moral character of the child is     
still unformed1 and that his standards  
of truth1 like his other standards1 are 
not the same as those of the adult4     
,indeed1 this fact is at the same time  
the hope of childhood and the source of 
its many tragedies4 ,it is the hope     
because the child is growing1 and       
acquiring new vision and new powers2 the
 child of to-day is the adult of        
to-morrow1 and most of the children of  
to-day will be at least as developed1 in
 time1 as the adults of to-day4 ,the    
tragedy arises from the fact that as we 
grow older we forget the outlook of the 

child1 and misunderstandings between the
 parents and the children are almost    
inevitable4  ,whatever the prevailing   
morality of a community may demand1 the 
fact remains that practically all       
children up to a certain age consider it
 perfectly legitimate to lie to their   
enemies if they but tell the truth to   
their friends4 ,children may lie to the 
policeman1 or to the teacher1 or to     
anyone with whom they are for the moment
 in conflict4 ,this is a relic of the   
time when our savage ancestors found it 
necessary to practice deceit in order to
 save themselves from their enemies4 ,so
 ingrained is this instinct that many a 
child will stick to a falsehood before  
the teacher or other inquisitors1 only  
to retract and go to pieces when obliged
 to answer his mother4 ,it has been     
shown over and over again that children 
even well along in the teens consider it
 quite right to tell one story to a     
teacher or to another child who is      
disliked1 and a different story to one  

that is liked4 ,this attitude probably  
arises not so much from a desire to     
deceive as an outcome of natural cunning
 and adaptability4  ,this is illustrated
 by the little girl who used to throw   
the crust of her bread under the table1 
to get more soft bread4 ,the child was  
too young to deceive anyone2 she could  
not possibly have the idea of deceit or 
of lying4 ,she had simply come to       
dispose of the crust in this way because
 she had associated the arrival of more 
bread with her empty-handedness2 to     
throw the bread under the table was a   
direct way to the getting of what she   
wanted4 ,the question of truth or       
untruth never entered the little mind4  
,to treat this child as a liar would not
 only be unjust1 but would be apt to    
make the child conscious of the idea of 
deceit4 ,later in his development the   
child may still use the same kind of    
cunning in getting what he wants or in  
escaping what he does not like1 without 
the intention to deceive4 ,and a lie1 to

 be a lie1 must include that intention4 
,all students of child nature agree that
 a very young child--say before the age 
of four or five--does not lie           
consciously4 ,later1 the child may say  
many things that are not so1 but        
gradually he comes to recognize the     
difference between what he says and what
 is really so2 he may need help in      
coming to see the difference1 but this  
aid should not be forced upon him too   
soon4 ,a little boy of five who was very
 imaginative became acquainted with some
 older children in a new neighborhood   
who had little imagination and therefore
 were greatly shocked by ,herbert's     
stories4 ,they proceeded to inform him  
that he was lying1 and to explain to him
 what a lie was4 ,the boy was very much 
impressed4 ,after he came home he       
discovered that there was a great deal  
of lying going on4 ,he asked his little 
brother1 ,are you older than me8--to    
which the little one answered in the    
affirmative4 ,herbert came running to   

his mother to report that the baby had  
told a lie6 ,for several weeks          
everything that was said was subject to 
the child's severe scrutiny2 every      
slightest mistake was at once labelled  
by him as a lie4 ,richard said this is  
my right hand1 that is a lie2 ,helen    
said ,i may not play with the hammer1   
mother said ,i may1 so ,helen lied2 the 
maid said it was time to go to bed1 but 
it is only five minutes to seven1 so the
 maid lied4 ,and he would delight       
especially in asking the baby brother   
leading questions1 to trap him into     
saying lies4 ,this experience did not   
result in making ,herbert any more      
scrupulous in his own speech1 for his   
imagination created interesting and     
dramatic situations1 which he described 
with zeal and enthusiasm1 for a long    
time after he had discovered lies4  ,the
 young child is really incapable of     
distinguishing between his dreams and   
reality on the one hand1 and between    
reality and his day-dreams or imaginings

 on the other4 ,a little boy came home  
from kindergarten a few days after he   
had entered1 and1 when the experience   
was still full of novelties to him1 he  
described the workshop3 each little boy 
had a pair of overalls with the name    
across the bib in black letters2 there  
was a little locker for each child1 with
 the name on the outside2 each had his  
set of tools and his place at the bench4
 ,day by day he narrated his doings in  
school and reported the progress he was 
making with a little hair-pin box that  
he intended for his aunt's birthday4 ,on
 the birthday the mother came to the    
school to see how the boy was getting   
on2 and she asked about the hair-pin box
 which he was now to bring home4 ,it    
then appeared that there was no shop1 no
 overalls1 no lockers1 no tools4 ,the   
whole story was a creation of the       
child's imagination1 and all the details
 he had invented were real enough to him
 to be described repeatedly with such   
vividness that no one suspected for a   

moment that it was all a fabrication4   
,to call such stories lies would be     
worse than useless4 ,if scolding or     
preaching could make a child merely stop
 telling such stories1 there would be no
 gain2 if they stopped a child thinking 
such stories1 there would be a decided  
loss4  ,gradually the child may come to 
recognize the difference between the    
make-believe and the reality1 and he may
 be helped4 ,when at a certain age you  
think your child ought to distinguish   
more clearly between his imagination and
 cold facts1 it would be all right to   
explain to him that1 although there is  
no harm in his enjoying his             
make-believe1 still he must not tell his
 fancies as if they were real1 but must 
tell them as make-believe stories4 ,that
 will achieve the desired result without
 making him feel hurt at your lack of   
understanding in treating him like an   
ordinary liar whose prime intention is  
to deceive4 ,but it is not wise to force
 this development1 even at the risk of  

prolonging the age of dreams4  ,with    
some children lying is caused by their  
esthetic feelings4 ,it is much easier   
for them to describe a situation as they
 feel it should have been than to       
describe it as it actually was4 ,many   
children embellish the facts without any
 trace of intent to deceive4 ,although  
we recognize that what they say is not  
strictly the truth1 we must further     
recognize that it is their love of the  
beautiful or their sense of the fitness 
of things that leads them to these      
exaggerations4 ,it is the same sort of  
instinct as shows itself in our love of 
certain kinds of fiction4 ,we know that 
some of the happy endings in the plays  
and in the novels are often far-fetched2
 but we like to have the happy endings1 
or the poetic justice endings1 or the   
irony of fate endings1 just the same4   
,when the child makes up his endings to 
fit his sense of justice or beauty1 we  
must not condemn him1 as we are often   
tempted to do1 by calling his           

fabrication a lie1 for that at once puts
 it in the same class as deliberate     
deceit for a selfish purpose4 ,there is 
really no harm in this class of lies1   
unless1 as the child grows older1 it    
becomes apparent that he lets his wishes
 and preferences interfere with his     
vision of what is actually going on4 ,in
 such cases the remedy is not to be     
found in the denunciation of lying1 but 
in giving the child opportunity to      
experience realities that cannot be     
treated untruthfully4 ,to this end      
various kinds of hand work and          
scientific study have been useful4 ,it  
is impossible for the child to cheat the
 tools of the workshop or his           
instruments of precision2 it is         
impossible to make a spool of thread do 
the work of two or three2 or one cannot 
make the paint go farther by applying   
the brush faster4 ,it is concrete       
reality that can teach the imaginative  
child reality2 in the things he learns  
from books there is no check upon the   

imagined and the desired--one kind of   
outcome is as likely and as true as     
another4 ,but in the experience of the  
workaday world causes and consequences  
cannot be so easily altered by a trick  
of words4  ,investigation has shown that
 the sentimental or heroic element is   
one that appeals to children so strongly
 that it may often lead to what we      
adults would call lies1 or it would seem
 to the child to justify lying4 ,the    
confession to a deed that he has not    
committed1 for the purpose of saving a  
weaker companion from punishment or     
injury1 seems to be a type of lie that  
appeals strongly to most children4      
,again and again have boys--and girls1  
too--declared stoically that they were  
guilty of some dereliction of which they
 were quite innocent1 to shield a       
friend4 ,and most children not only     
admire such acts1 but will seek to      
defend them on moral grounds1 even when 
they are old enough to know what a lie  
is4 ,the explanation for this is to be  

found in the fact that the child sees   
every situation or problem as a whole2  
he has not yet learned to separate      
problems into their component parts4 ,a 
situation is to him all wrong or all    
right2 he cannot see that a part may be 
wrong1 while another part is right4 ,now
 in the case of the self-confessed      
culprits1 the magnanimity and heroism of
 the act stand out so prominently that  
they quite overshadow the trifling      
circumstance that the hero did not do   
the wicked deed4  ,an excellent         
illustration of this trait of child     
nature came out in an inquiry that was  
made a number of years ago4 ,a child    
replied1 in answer to the question ,when
 would a lie be justified8 that if the  
mother's life depended upon it one would
 have the moral duty of saying that she 
was out1 although she was really in4    
,that is1 it would be one's duty to make
 the great moral sacrifice of speaking  
an untruth for the sake of saving the   
mother4 ,any child will tell you1 as did

 this one1 that it would be wicked to   
tell a lie to save his own life6  ,this 
suggests another type of lie that is    
quite common4 ,most children feel their 
personal loyalties so keenly that they  
would do many things that they          
themselves consider wrong for a person  
they love or admire4 ,a little girl was 
so much impressed with the moral        
teachings of her ,sunday-school teacher 
that she was determined to get her a    
suitable ,christmas present4 ,now1 the  
family had not the means to supply such 
a present1 and ,mary knew it1 and was   
greatly distressed by the fact4         
,however1 where there is a will there is
 a way2 and ,mary found the way by      
cunningly stealing a moustache cup from 
a store with the inspiring legend ,to   
dear ,father and beautiful red and blue 
roses and gilt leaves4 ,mary had learned
 that it was wicked to steal and to lie1
 etc41 but her heart was set on getting 
something for the teacher1 not for      
herself1 and she very unselfishly risked

 her moral salvation for the person she 
loved and admired4  ,it is probably     
better for the child if we do not push  
the analysis of acts and motives too    
early1 for there is more danger at a    
certain age from morbid                 
self-consciousness than from acquiring  
vicious habits4 ,if we recognize that   
many of the lapses from the paths of    
truth arise from really worthy motives1 
we must make sure that these ideals     
become fixed before we attempt to       
separate the unworthy act from the      
commendable purpose4  ,the cases so far 
given show how important it is to retain
 not only the affection but also the    
confidence of our children2 and how     
important it is to have right teachers  
and associates4 ,the child will do what 
he can to please those he really likes  
or admires2 but the kind of thing he    
will do will depend a great deal upon   
what those he admires themselves like to
 see done4  ,there are some lies that   
are due to faulty observation4 ,we do   

not often realize to what extent we     
supplement our sense perceptions in     
relating our experiences4 ,lawyers tell 
us that it is very difficult to have a  
witness relate exactly what he saw2 he  
is always adding details for completing 
the story in accordance with his        
interpretation of what he saw4 ,this is 
not lying in any sense1 but it is       
relating as alleged facts what are in   
reality conclusions from facts4 ,one may
 be an unreliable witness without being 
a liar2 and so may the child tell us    
things that we know are not so because1 
in trying to tell a complete story1 he  
has to supplement what he actually saw  
with what he feels must have been a part
 of the incident4 ,defects of judgment  
as well as delusions of the senses or   
lapses of memory may lead to            
misstatements that are not really lies4 
,some delusions of the senses1          
especially of sight and of hearing1     
undoubtedly have a physical cause4      
,another source of comparatively        

harmless lying is the instinct for      
secretiveness4 ,children just love to   
have secrets1 and if there are none on  
hand1 they have to be invented4 ,a child
 will tell another a secret on condition
 that it be kept a secret2 but when the 
secret is told it turns out to be a     
falsehood--perhaps even something       
libellous4 ,now1 the child cannot feel  
that he has done anything wicked1 for to
 his mind the big thing is that ,nellie 
promised not to tell1 and she broke her 
promise6 ,if she had not broken her     
promise to keep the secret1 it never    
would have come out1 and no harm would  
have been done4 ,perhaps we have not yet
 sufficiently driven secrets from our   
common life to demand that the children 
shall be without secrets4 ,when we set  
the children an example of perfect      
frankness and open dealing in all       
matters1 we may perhaps be in a position
 to discourage the invention of secrets 
by the young people4 ,secretiveness     
leads naturally to deceit2 but it is not

 in itself serious enough to make much  
ado about4 ,healthy children in         
healthful social surroundings will      
outgrow this instinct2 where the        
atmosphere is charged with intrigue and 
scheming and dissimulation1 this        
instinct may survive longer1 but its    
manifestation is in itself not a trait  
that should give its concern4  ,some    
children lie because they are inclined  
to brag or show off2 others for just the
 opposite reason--they are too sensitive
 or timid4 ,and a lie that comes from   
either side of the child's nature cannot
 be taken as a sign of moral depravity2 
the treatment which a child is given    
must take into consideration the child's
 temperament4 ,charles ,darwin tells of 
his own inclination to make exaggerated 
statements for the purpose of causing a 
sensation4 ,i told another little boy1  
he writes in his autobiography1 that ,i 
could produce variously-colored         
polyanthuses and primroses by watering  
them with certain colored fluids1 which 

was1 of course1 a monstrous fable1 and  
had never been tried by me4 ,i may here 
also confess that as a little boy ,i was
 much given to inventing deliberate     
falsehoods1 and this was always done for
 the sake of causing excitement4 ,for   
instance1 ,i once gathered much valuable
 fruit from my father's trees and hid it
 in the shrubbery and then ran in       
breathless haste to spread the news that
 ,i had discovered a hoard of stolen    
fruit4  ,for the vaunting lie it is     
usually sufficient to defeat its purpose
 by showing that the boast cannot be    
carried out4 ,the braggart is made to   
descend from the pedestal of the hero to
 the level of the fool4  ,how the other 
extreme in disposition may lead to a lie
 is shown by the little girl who was    
sent to the store for a loaf of bread   
and came back saying that there was no  
more to be had4 ,the mother was very    
sure that that could not be1 but soon   
found out1 on questioning1 that the     
child had forgotten what she was sent to

 get and was then afraid of being       
ridiculed for having forgotten4 ,here   
the cause of the lie was timidity4 ,to  
punish this child would only make her   
more timid4 ,in a case of this kind the 
mother should try to cultivate the      
self-confidence of the child instead of 
punishing her for untruthfulness4       
,perhaps the most common kind of lie is 
the one that a child tells in order to  
escape punishment4 ,it is often chosen  
as the easiest way without realization  
of any serious wrong-doing4 ,and even   
when a child is taught the wrong of it1 
it is still too helpful to be entirely  
dropped4 ,as a little boy once said1 ,a 
lie is an abomination to the ,lord1 and 
an ever-ready help in time of trouble4  
,the first lie of this kind that a child
 invents comes without any feeling of   
moral wrong-doing4 ,he has only an      
instinctive shrinking from pain4 ,to    
cure a child of this kind of lie1 we    
must take his disposition into          
consideration2 there is no one remedy   

that suits all children4 ,in some cases 
it has worked very well to develop the  
courage of the child1 so that he will   
fearlessly accept the consequences of   
his deeds4 ,we all know of cases where  
children can be physically very brave   
and stand a great deal of pain if they  
are made to see the necessity for it--as
 when they are treated by a dentist or  
physician4 ,children of that type surely
 can be taught to be brave1 also1 about 
accepting the consequences of misdeeds4 
,with another type of child the desired 
result can be obtained by making him see
 that he will be happier and that his   
relations with others will he pleasanter
 if he always tells the truth4 ,in some 
children the sense of honor can be very 
easily aroused1 and they can be made to 
see how truthfulness and reliability    
help human beings to get along with each
 other in their various relations4 ,a   
great many temptations for this kind of 
lie can be entirely avoided if your     
child feels from earliest infancy that  

you always treat him justly4  ,yet a    
child who is neither afraid of          
punishment nor inclined to deceive may  
often be tempted to lie when his wits   
are challenged4 ,there is something     
about your tone of voice1 or in the     
manner of asking ,who left the door of  
the chicken-house open8 that is an      
irresistible temptation to make you show
 how smart you really are4 ,you think   
you know1 and your manner shows it2 but 
you may be mistaken1 and your           
cocksureness arouses all the cunning and
 combativeness of the child4 ,there is a
 vague feeling in his mind that he would
 like to see you confirm your suspicion 
without the aid of an open              
confession--and the result is a lie4    
,indeed1 any approach that arouses      
antagonisms is almost sure to bring out 
the propensity to dissimulate or even to
 deceive4 ,in such cases the mother     
should learn how to approach the child  
without a challenge1 instead of trying  
to teach the child not to lie4  ,the    

worst kind of lies are those caused by  
selfishness or the desire to gain at the
 expense of another1 or those prompted  
by malice or envy1 or the passion for   
vengeance4 ,although such lies often    
appear in the games of children1 the    
games themselves are not to be held     
responsible for this4 ,indeed1 the games
 of the older children1 when played     
under suitable direction1 are likely to 
be among the best means for remedying   
untruthfulness4 ,yet it may be wise     
sometimes to keep a child from his games
 for a time1 not so much to punish him  
for lying as to give him an opportunity 
to reflect on the close connection      
between truthfulness and good playing4  
,special instruction may sometimes be   
needed as a means to arousing the       
conscience4 ,the lies of selfishness are
 bad because1 if continued1 they are    
likely to make children grasping and    
unscrupulous4 ,but it is in most cases  
wiser to try to make the child more     
generous and frank than to fix the      

attention on the lies4 ,if he can be    
made to realize that his happiness is   
more likely to be assured through       
friendly and sincere relations1 the     
temptation to use lies will be reduced4 
,one type of lying that is very         
irritating and very hard to meet is that
 known as prevarication4 ,this consists 
in telling a part of a truth1 or even a 
whole truth1 in such a way as to convey 
a false impression1 and is most common  
at about twelve or thirteen years4 ,when
 a child resorts to prevarication he is 
already old enough to know the          
difference between a truthful statement 
and a false statement4 ,indeed1 it is   
when he most keenly realizes this that  
he is most likely to prevaricate1 for   
this is but a device by which the       
childish mind attempts to achieve an    
indirect purpose and at the same time   
keep his peace with his conscience4 ,it 
is when he already has a certain fear of
 lying1 and is not yet thoroughly       
sincere and truth-loving1 that he will  

come home from the truant fishing party 
and ingeniously tell you that a friend  
of ,harry's caught the fish1 instead of 
saying that he himself did it4 ,his     
conscience is quite satisfied with the  
reflection that he is a friend of       
,harry's4 ,in this stage of his career  
the child is quite capable of           
understanding a direct analysis of what 
is essentially a deception1 and a good  
heart-to-heart talk that comes to a     
conclusion is about the best thing he   
can get4  ,i hope you will not think1   
from what ,i have said1 that ,i have    
been trying to justify lying1 or that ,i
 do not consider lying a serious matter2
 nor1 on the other hand1 that you will  
consider a single application of the    
remedies suggested sufficient to make   
any child truthful4 ,thoroughgoing      
truthfulness comes hard and generally   
comes late4 ,but for the majority of    
children truthfulness is attainable1    
although it will not be attained without
 a struggle4 ,the finer instincts often 

enough lead to violations of strict     
veracity2 but they may be made also to  
strengthen the feeling of scrupulous    
regard for the truth4  ,i have tried to 
show that what we call a lie is not     
always a lie2 and that some of the very 
methods we use in training our children 
themselves produce lies4 ,the inflicting
 of severe punishments is one of the    
chief of these1 and the most common lie 
is that which is due to fear of         
punishment4 ,lies that arise from bad   
habits should be treated by an attempt  
to remedy the bad habit4 ,lies that     
arise from ignorance should be treated  
by attention to necessary knowledge4    
,even more important than the right kind
 of treatment for untruthfulness is the 
necessity for an atmosphere in which the
 spirit of truthfulness is              
all-pervading4 ,some day watch yourself 
and notice how often you tell untruths  
to your child2 how often he hears you   
tell so-called white lies to your       
neighbors2 how often he hears you       

prevaricate and exaggerate4 ,if you will
 keep track of these things you will    
realize that it is a trifle absurd of   
you to expect your child to be a strict 
speaker of the truth4 ,part of our      
campaign against the lies of our        
children must therefore consist in our  
attempt to establish truthful relations 
among adults1 and between adults and    
children4     ,v4  ,,being ,,afraid     
,the heroes of history and the heroes of
 fiction whom all of us like to admire  
are the men and women who know no fear4 
,but most of us make use of fear as a   
cheap device for attaining immediate    
results with our children4 ,when ,johnny
 hesitates about going upstairs in the  
dark to fetch your work-basket1 you     
remind him of ,columbus1 who braved the 
trackless sea and the unknown void in   
the ,west1 and you exhort him to be a   
man2 but when ,johnny was younger you   
yourself warned him that the ,bogeyman  
would get him if be did not go right to 
sleep4 ,and it is not very long since   

the day when he tried to climb the      
cherry tree and you attempted to        
dissuade him with the alarming prophecy 
that he would surely fall down and break
 his neck4  ,thus our training consists 
of countless contradictions3 we set up  
noble ideals to arouse courage and      
self-reliance--when that suits our      
immediate purpose2 and we frighten with 
threats and warn of calamity when the   
child has the impulse to do what we do  
not wish to have him do4 ,this at once  
suggests the effect of fear upon        
character and conduct4 ,we instinctively
 call upon courage when we want the     
child to do something2 we call upon fear
 when we want to prevent action4 ,in    
other words1 bravery stimulates1 whereas
 fear paralyzes4  ,the human race is    
characterized by an instinct of fear4   
,very young infants exhibit all the     
symptoms of fear long before they can   
have any knowledge or experience of the 
disagreeable and the harmful effects of 
the things that frighten them4 ,thus a  

sudden noise will make the child start  
and tremble and even scream4 ,and all   
through life an unexpected and loud     
noise is likely to startle us4 ,an      
investigation has shown that thunder is 
feared much more than lightning4        
,children will laugh at the flashes of  
lightning1 but will cower before the    
roaring thunder4  ,the feeling of fear  
is closely associated with what is      
unknown4 ,it is not noise in general    
that frightens the children1 but an     
unexpected noise from an unknown source4
 ,indeed1 the children like noise itself
 well enough to produce it whenever they
 can by heating drums1 or barrels1 or   
wash-boilers4 ,the frightful thing about
 thunder is that the cause remains a    
mystery1 and it is frightful so long as 
the cause does remain a mystery1 if the 
child lives to be a hundred years old4  
,during a thunder-storm children will   
picture to themselves a battle going on 
above4 ,some think of the sky cracking  
or the moon bursting1 or conceive of the

 firmament as a dome of metal over which
 balls are being rolled4  ,illustration3
 ,neither are girls afraid to climb4    
,the influence of the unknown explains  
also why that other great source of     
fear1 namely1 darkness1 has such a      
strange hold upon children4 ,fear of    
darkness is very common and often very  
intense4 ,there are but few children who
 do not suffer from it at some time and 
to some extent4 ,this fear is frequently
 suggested by stories of robbers1       
ghosts1 or other terrors1 but even      
children who have been carefully guarded
 sometimes have these violent fears that
 cannot be reasoned away4  ,in order to 
discover what it is about the darkness  
that frightens children1 a large number 
of women and men were asked to recall   
their childish experiences with fear1   
and from the many instances given the   
following may be used to illustrate the 
various terrors of the dark4  ,one woman
 described her fears of an indistinct   
living something1 black1 possibly curly1

 which she feared would enter the room  
in the darkness from somewhere under the
 bed4 ,another could see dark objects   
with eyes and teeth slowly and          
noiselessly descending from the ceiling 
toward her4 ,one little boy1 when he had
 finally overcome fear1 said to his     
father that he thought the dark to be a 
large live thing the color of black4 ,a 
girl of nineteen said she remembered    
that on going to bed she used to see    
little black figures jumping about      
between the ceiling and the bed4  ,it is
 well known that the feeling of fear is 
often very intense among children2 and  
where it is due to ignorance it is not  
right to laugh it away4 ,doing so       
affords no explanation4 ,the ridicule   
may cause the child to hide his fear1   
but will not drive the feeling away4    
,since the feeling of fear is so closely
 connected with the strange and unknown1
 the only way that it may be directly   
overcome is by making the child familiar
 with the objects that cause such       

feelings4  ,in the case of young        
children with whom we cannot reason it  
is best1 wherever possible1 to remove   
the cause or gradually to make the child
 familiar with the darkness1 or whatever
 it is that makes him unhappy4 ,one very
 young child became frightened when he  
was presented with a ,teddy bear4 ,every
 time the ,teddy bear was produced he   
would cry with terror4 ,the mother was  
perplexed about what to do4 ,now1 as the
 ,teddy bear is not a necessary part of 
the child's surroundings1 there is no   
reason why it cannot be removed         
altogether and produced again upon some 
future occasion1 when the child is old  
enough to be indifferent to it4 ,very   
many children are frightened by the     
touch of fur1 or even of velvet2 but    
this lasts only a short time1 and they  
soon learn to like dogs and cats4  ,the 
fear of darkness is different2 we cannot
 eliminate darkness from the child's    
experience1 and we must patiently try to
 help the child to overcome his fear1   

since he will suffer greatly so long as 
it lasts4 ,the help you give him will   
also constitute one more bond of        
sympathy between you and your child1 and
 we cannot have too many such bonds4    
,one mother got her boy used to going   
into a dark room by placing some candy  
on the farther window and sending him   
for that4 ,here the child fixed his     
attention on the goal and had no time to
 think of the terrors of the dark4      
,after making such visits a few times   
the boy became quite indifferent to the 
darkness4  ,another ingenious mother    
gave her little daughter who was afraid 
a tiny1 flat1 electric spotlight which  
just fitted into the pocket of her      
pajama jacket ,she took it to bed with  
her1 slipped it under the pillow1 and   
derived such comfort from it that the   
whole family was relieved4 ,the child   
soon outgrew her timidity4  ,a child who
 from infancy has been accustomed to    
going to sleep in the dark and suddenly 
develops a fear of it ought to be       

indulged to the extent of having a light
 for a few minutes to show him that     
there is nothing there to be afraid of4 
,it may take a few evenings and several 
disagreeable trips to the child's       
bedroom1 but in the end he will be      
victorious and you will have helped him 
to win the victory4  ,a child that is   
not in good health is likely to be      
possessed by his fears much longer than 
one who is well4 ,in the latter case    
there is a fund of energy to go         
exploring1 and the child thus becomes   
more readily acquainted with his        
surroundings1 and as his knowledge grows
 his fears vanish4 ,again1 the sickly   
child has not the energy to fight his   
fears1 as has the healthy child4        
,indeed1 the high spirits of the healthy
 child often lead him to seek the       
frightful1 just for the exhilaration he 
gets from the sensation4  ,the period of
 most intense fears is between the ages 
of five and seven1 and while imaginative
 children naturally suffer most1 they   

are also the ones that can call up      
bright fancies to cheer them4 ,robert   
,louis ,stevenson must have had a lovely
 time in the dark1 seeing circuses and  
things1 as he tells us in his poem which
 begins3  ,all night long and every     
night ,when my mamma puts out the light 
,i see the circus passing by ,as plain  
as day before my eye1 etc4  ,although   
fear is a human instinct1 it is not     
universal1 and once in a while we find a
 child who has no instinctive fear4 ,if 
such a child is not frightened he may   
remain quite ignorant of the feeling for
 many years4 ,i know a boy who1 at the  
age of five1 was unacquainted with the  
sensation of fear1 and1 never having    
been frightened1 also did not know the  
meaning of the word fear4 ,he had heard 
it used by other children and knew that 
it was something unpleasant1 but when   
one day at dinner he said to his mother1
 ,you know1 ,i think ,i am afraid of    
spinach1 meaning that he did not like   
it1 it was evident that the feeling of  

fear was quite foreign to him4  ,many   
parents have a feeling of helplessness  
in the face of a trait that is said to  
be instinctive1 as though there were    
some fatal finality in that             
classification4 ,but1 while it is true  
that fear is instinctive1 it is equally 
true that it can often be successfully  
fought by having recourse to other      
instinctive traits4 ,thus the instinct  
of curiosity1 which is more widespread  
even than the instinct of fear1 may be  
used to counteract the latter4 ,since   
fear rests so largely on ignorance1     
curiosity is its enemy1 because it      
dissipates ignorance4 ,a little boy who 
had a certain fear of the figures in the
 mirror that were so vivid and yet so   
unreal used to try to come into a room  
in which there was a large mirror1 and  
steal upon the causes of his curiosity  
unawares4 ,his double was always there  
as soon as he1 and caught his eye2 but  
the child lost his fear only after he   
became familiar with the characters in  

the looking-glass4 ,in the same way     
curiosity will often compel the child to
 become gradually so well acquainted    
with the source of his fears as to drive
 the latter quite out of his experience4
  ,we must be careful to avoid confusing
 fear and caution4 ,fear arises from    
ignorance1 and is not necessarily       
related to any real danger4 ,caution1 on
 the other hand1 is a direct outcome of 
the knowledge of danger4 ,two little    
boys were watching a young man shooting 
off fire-crackers4 ,whenever a bunch was
 lit the older boy stepped away1 while  
the younger one held his ground4        
,someone taunted the older boy1 saying1 
,you see1 ,harry is not afraid1 and you 
are4 ,to which he very sensibly replied1
 ,i ain't afraid neither1 but ,harry    
doesn't know that he might get hurt1 and
 ,i do4  ,therefore1 while we do not    
wish our children to be cowards1 neither
 do we want them to feel reckless4      
,caution and courage may well go        
together in the child's character4      

,constantly warning the child against   
possible danger does not develop        
caution2 it is more likely to destroy   
all spontaneous action4 ,too many       
mothers are always saying to their      
children1 ,don't do this1 you might hurt
 yourself1 or ,don't go to the stable1  
the horse may kick you1 and so on4 ,if a
 child is properly taught1 he will get  
along with the ordinary knowledge       
concerning the behavior of things and   
animals that might be injurious1 and he 
will learn to be careful with regard to 
these without being constantly          
admonished and frightened4  ,the fear of
 being considered afraid has its evil   
side as well as its good side4 ,while it
 may often make the child affect the    
virtue when he has it not1 it does1 on  
the other hand1 make many a boy and     
girl1 especially in the early teens1    
concede to the demands of prevailing    
fashions in misconduct1 when the        
conscience and the knowledge of right   
and wrong dictate a different course4   

,the taunt you dassent is stronger than 
the still small voice saying thou must  
not4 ,and so ,harry plays truant for the
 first time not so much because he is   
tired of school1 or because the smell of
 the young spring allures him1 as       
because ,tommy dares him to go swimming 
on the risk of getting caught and       
licked4 ,harry yields for fear of being 
called a cowardy custard4  ,it is       
important to guard against the moral    
effect of fear when it is directed      
against the judgments of others4 ,by    
always referring the child to what      
others will think of him1 we are likely 
to make moral cowards4 ,a child can be  
taught to refer to his own conscience   
and to his own judgment1 and1 if he has 
been wisely trained1 his conscience and 
judgment will be at least as effective  
guides in his relations with human      
beings as his attempt to avoid          
misconduct for fear of what others will 
think or say4  ,the use of fear as a    
means of discipline is being discarded  

by all thoughtful parents and teachers4 
,we have learned that authority         
maintained by fear is very short-lived2 
when a child gets past a certain age1   
the obedience based upon fear of        
authority is almost certain to turn into
 defiance4 ,the fear of punishment leads
 directly to untruthfulness and         
deception2 parents who rely upon        
affection and good-will to assure the   
right conduct of their children get     
better results than those who terrorize 
them4  ,fear and hatred are closely     
connected1 and in cultivating fear we   
are fostering a trait that may in a     
critical moment turn to hatred4 ,the    
only things that we should teach our    
children to fear are those we should be 
willing to have them hate4 ,let your    
children learn to fear and hate all mean
 and selfish acts1 all cunning and      
deception1 all unfairness and injustice4
 ,but even better than teaching them to 
hate these vices1 teach them to love and
 admire and to aspire to realize the    

positive virtues4  ,when we observe the 
undesirable physical effects of fear1   
such as the effect upon the heart and   
blood-vessels1 the effect upon the nerve
 currents1 etc41 we can hardly expect it
 to have a beneficial effect upon the   
mental or moral side of the child's     
nature4 ,fear always cramps and         
paralyzes2 it never broadens or         
stimulates4 ,all the progress made by   
our race has been accomplished by those 
who were not afraid3 the men and women  
of broad vision and independent1        
fearless action4 ,every mother has      
lurking in some corner of her heart the 
fond hope that her children will in some
 way contribute to the advancement of   
humanity1 to make our life here better  
worth living4 ,to contribute in this    
way1 our children must be without fear4 
,,vi4  ,,the ,,first ,,great ,,law      
,when you have had a scene with your    
disobedient ,robert1 you are apt to     
wonder how ,mrs4 ,jones ever manages to 
make her children obey so nicely4 ,if   

all secrets were made public1 you would 
know that ,mrs4 ,jones has often wished 
that she could make her children mind as
 nicely as do yours4 ,for we always     
imagine that making children mind is the
 one thing that other mothers succeed in
 better than we do4  ,why is it that we 
consider obedience of such great        
importance in the bringing up of our    
children8 ,is it because obedience      
itself is a supreme virtue which we     
desire to cultivate in our children8 ,or
 is it because we find it convenient to 
receive obedience from those with whom  
we have to deal8  ,that obedience is a  
virtue cannot be denied4 ,but it is a   
virtue only under special kinds of human
 relationship4 ,the obedience required  
of a fireman or a sailor is of the same 
kind as that which we demand of a child 
exposed to a danger that he does not    
see4 ,the work of the fireman and of the
 sailor is such that these people must  
be constantly prepared to obey instantly
 the orders given by those in authority 

over them4 ,the life of the child1      
however1 is such as to make his work or 
his safety depend upon his obedience    
only under exceptional circumstances4   
,to justify our demand for habitual     
obedience1 we must find better reasons  
than the stock argument so often given1 
namely1 that in certain emergencies the 
instant response to a command may result
 in saving the child from injury or even
 from death4  ,the need for obedience   
lies closer to hand than an occasional  
emergency which may never arise4 ,in all
 human relationships there come         
occasions for the exercise of authority4
 ,there is no doubt that in the         
relations between parents and child the 
parent--or elder person--should be the  
one in authority1 on account of his     
greater experience and maturer judgment1
 quite apart from any question of       
sentiment or tradition4 ,but if you wish
 to exercise authority1 you must make   
sure to deserve it4 ,laws and customs   
give parents certain authority over     

their children1 but well we know that   
too few of them are able to make wise   
use of this authority4  ,not only from  
the side of our own convenience1 but    
also from the side of the child's real  
needs1 we must give the young spirit    
training in obedience4 ,the child that  
does not get the constant support of a  
reliable and firm guide misses this     
support2 the child is happier when he is
 aware of having near-by an unfailing   
counsellor1 one who will decide aright  
what he is to do and what he is not to  
do4 ,but when ,i say that the obedient  
child is happier than the disobedient   
one1 ,i do not mean merely that the     
latter gets into mischief more          
frequently1 or that the former receives 
more marks of affection from the        
parents4 ,there is involved something   
more important than rewards and         
punishments4 ,the young child would     
really rather obey than be left to his  
own decisions4 ,when he has no one to   
tell him what to do1 or to warn him     

against what he must not do1 the child  
feels his helplessness4 ,and there is   
valuable tonic for the child's body as  
well as for his will in the comfortable 
consciousness of a superior authority   
upon which he can safely lean4  ,as the 
child becomes older he begins to assert 
his own desires in a more positive      
fashion1 and at about two and a half to 
three years the problem of obedience    
takes on a new aspect4 ,for now the     
child has had experience enough to      
enable him to have his own purposes1 and
 these often come in conflict with the  
wishes of the mother4 ,should obedience 
be now demanded8 ,and should it be      
insisted upon8 ,there is more involved  
in this problem than the convenience of 
administering the household1 or the     
immediate safety and well-being of the  
child4 ,there is involved the whole     
question of the child's future attitude 
toward life4 ,shall the child become one
 who habitually obeys the commands of   
others1 without questioning1 without    

resisting1 and so perhaps become a      
pliant tool in the hands of powerful but
 unscrupulous men8 ,or shall he be      
allowed to go his own way and over-ride 
the wishes of others1 to become1        
perhaps1 a wilful victim of his own     
whims and moods1 presenting a stubborn  
resistance to overwhelming forces that  
will in the end crush him8  ,in the case
 of the very young child absolute       
obedience must be required1 for the     
reason that the child is not in a       
position to assume the responsibility   
for his conduct4 ,the will of the mother
 must be followed for the child's own   
safety and health1 for the child has no 
intelligence or experience1--that is1   
judgment1--or purpose to guide him4 ,he 
has only blind impulses that may often  
be harmless but are never reliable4 ,so 
the first need is for training in       
regularity1 and this is possible only   
under the guidance of the mother or     
nurse1 who knows what is to be done1 or 
not done1 and whose authority must be   

absolute4 ,so the child must first of   
all learn to obey4 ,later he must learn 
what and whom to obey4  ,recognizing1   
then1 in full the value of obedience1 we
 must be careful not to exaggerate it   
and consider it a cardinal virtue4      
,obedience is far from being a          
fundamental virtue4 ,on the contrary1   
once established as a ruling principle  
in the household or anywhere else1 it is
 easily carried far enough to become a  
source of positive harm4 ,to obey means 
to act in accordance with another's     
wishes4 ,to act in this manner does not 
call upon the exercise of judgment or   
responsibility1 and too many grow up    
without acquiring the habit of using    
judgment and without acquiring a sense  
of responsibility4 ,they are only too   
willing to leave choice and decision to 
others4 ,decision of character and      
habitual obedience do not go well       
together4 ,moreover1 it is now coming to
 be more fully recognized that the      
progress of society depends not upon    

closer obedience to the few natural     
leaders1 but upon the exercise of       
discretion and judgment on the part of  
an ever larger number of those who are  
not leaders4  ,there may be a still     
greater danger in requiring so-called   
implicit obedience of every child4 ,we  
have learned from modern studies of the 
human mind that doing is the outcome of 
thinking and feeling4 ,when we          
constantly force children to do things  
that have no direct connection with     
their thoughts and feelings1 or when we 
prevent actions which follow naturally  
from their thoughts and feelings1 we are
 interfering with the orderly working of
 the child's mind4 ,we force children to
 act in ways unrelated to their thoughts
 and feelings1 and as a result we have  
many men and women of fine sentiment and
 lofty thought who never let their ideas
 and sentiments find expression in      
effective action4 ,in other words1 the  
effect upon the mind of thoughtless     
minding is not a healthy one4  ,a large 

amount of disobedience arises from the  
fact that the child's attention and     
interest are so different from an       
adult's4 ,the little girl who is said to
 have given her name as ,mary ,don't    
illustrates this4 ,mary does a great    
many things in the course of a day1     
impelled by curiosity and the instinct  
to handle things4 ,most of her          
activities are harmless2 but when she   
touches something that you care about1  
you command her to let it alone4 ,this  
is quite proper4 ,very often1 however1  
she is told to stop doing things that   
are quite indifferent1 and that satisfy 
her natural craving for activity without
 being in the least harmful4 ,being     
interfered with constantly1 she soon    
comes to consider all orders arbitrary  
and-- disobedience results4  ,the other 
side of the problem is seen when a child
 is told to do something when he is     
preoccupied with his own affairs4 ,you  
may tell him a second time2 very likely 
you raise your voice4 ,the third time   

you fairly shout4 ,this is undignified  
and it is also unnecessary4 ,for ,bobby 
has heard the order from the first2 but 
he has not attended to your wishes4 ,in 
such cases there is no primary          
disobedience2 but a frequent repetition 
of such incidents can easily lead ,bobby
 to become quite indifferent to your    
orders2 then disobedience is habitual4  
,the child that has acquired the habit  
of ignoring the mother's wishes will not
 suddenly begin to obey orders when the 
emergency comes4  ,from these two cases 
we may see that it is important to get  
first the child's habit of attending to 
what is said to him--by making          
everything that is said to him count4   
,in the second place1 the child must be 
taught to feel that what he is directed 
to do is the best thing to do4  ,for    
getting the child to obey we must keep  
constantly in mind the idea that we are 
working for certain habits4 ,now1 a     
habit is acquired only through constant 
repetition of a given act or a given    

kind of behavior4 ,the first rule for   
the parent should therefore be to be    
absolutely consistent in demanding      
obedience from the child4 ,if you call  
to the children in the nursery to stop  
their racket 7because father is taking a
 nap7 and fail to insist upon the       
quietness because father just whispers  
to you that he is not sleeping1 you have
 given the children practice in         
disobedience4 ,if they are to be allowed
 to go on with the noise1 this should be
 because you openly permit them to go on
 with their noisy fun1 and not because  
they may heedlessly disregard your      
wishes4 ,direct disobedience is not to  
be overlooked under any circumstances4  
,it is true that parents often give     
orders that had better not be carried   
out2 but the remedy is not in allowing  
the children to disobey1 but in thinking
 twice or thrice before giving a        
command1 or in agreeing with them upon a
 course of action without giving        
commands at all4 ,by giving no orders   

that are unnecessary or that are        
arbitrary1 the child will come in time  
to feel that your interferences with his
 own impulses are intended for his own  
good4  ,illustration3 ,only a good      
reason can warrant calling an absorbed  
child from his occupation4  ,we         
frequently tell the children that we    
want them to obey for their own good4   
,if this were true1 we should have      
little difficulty in obtaining          
obedience1 for most children            
instinctively follow orders and         
suggestions4 ,it is only when we abuse  
this instinct by too frequent and       
capricious and thoughtless commands for 
our own convenience that the children   
come to revolt at our orders4  ,there   
are great differences among children in 
the readiness with which they adopt     
suggestions or follow orders4 ,some     
children are easily dissuaded from a    
line of action in which they are        
engaged4 ,their attention is not very   
closely filed1 and they are easily      

distracted1 and may be sent from one    
thing to another without resenting the  
interruptions4 ,such children quickly   
learn to obey1 and some seldom offer    
resistance to suggestion2 but they      
deserve no special praise or credit for 
their perfect obedience1 neither do     
their parents deserve special credit for
 having trained such children4 ,on the  
other hand1 there are children who set  
their hearts very firmly upon the       
objects of their desire1 and who cannot 
easily stop in the middle of a game or  
in the middle of a sentence just to put 
some wood in the stove4 ,such children  
will appear to be disobedient1 although 
they are just as affectionate and as    
loyal and as dutiful as the others4     
,when you see a child that is a model of
 obedience1 you cannot conclude that he 
has been well trained2 nor is frequent  
disobedience an indication of neglect on
 the part of the parents4 ,but the      
majority of children will fall in the   
class of those whose obedience or       

disobedience is a matter of habit       
resulting from the firmness and         
consistency and considerateness of the  
parents4  ,unless a child has become    
altogether submissive1 he will not obey 
all orders with equal readiness4 ,alice1
 who is not very active1 does not       
display any great virtue if she sits    
still when you tell her to4 ,on the     
other hand1 sitting still means to      
,harry a supreme effort as well as a    
great sacrifice2 to demand this of him  
we should have a very good reason4 ,i   
know children who are models of         
obedience in most matters1 but who      
scream with protest and resentment when 
it comes to taking medicine or even to  
being examined by a physician4 ,on the  
other hand1 a little boy ,i know1 to    
whom obedience in general comes very    
hard1 has such respect for the wisdom of
 physicians and for the helpfulness of  
medicines that he will undergo a        
thorough examination and will swallow   
the bitterest of drugs without even     

making a wry face4  ,if you will look   
about among your acquaintances1 ,i think
 you will find that those who get really
 intelligent obedience from their       
children are the ones who make the least
 ado about it1 and perhaps never use the
 time-worn phrase1 ,now you must mind   
me4 ,it is the weak person who is       
constantly forced to make appeals to his
 authority4 ,it is the weak person who  
is constantly threatening the child with
 terrible retributions for his          
disobedience4 ,yet none are quicker to  
detect the weakness1 none know better   
that the threats will not be carried    
out1 than those very children whose     
obedience we desire thus to obtain4     
,many of us get into the habit of       
placing too many of our wishes in the   
form of commands or orders to do or not 
to do1 instead of requesting as we would
 of an equal4 ,wherever possible we     
should suggest to the child a line of   
conduct1 so as to make the child feel   
that he is making a choice4 ,you may say

 to ,johnnie1 ,go and get me a pail of  
water4 ,or you may say1 ,johnnie1 please
 get me a pail of water4 ,or you may    
say1 ,johnnie1 mother needs a pail of   
water4 ,you will perhaps get just as    
good service in one case as in another2 
but the ultimate effect on ,johnnie may 
make the difference between a man who   
finds work a necessary evil and one who 
finds work a means of service4  ,from   
men who have been successful in managing
 industries and from women who have     
managed large households with the least 
amount of friction we can learn that    
there is a way of obtaining obedience   
without imposing upon the minds of those
 under our authority4 ,whenever you wish
 to depart from the usual routine1 there
 is a good reason for the change1 and in
 most cases the reason can be stated    
with the request4 ,when this is done the
 order loses the appearance of          
arbitrariness4 ,if you say to ,mary1 ,i 
wish you would go out without me this   
afternoon1 as ,i have some important    

sewing to finish1 you will most likely  
meet with ready acquiescence4 ,if1      
however1 you say1 ,you must go alone    
this afternoon1 ,i can't go with you1   
and if when ,mary dares ask ,why8 you   
say1 ,because ,i tell you to1 you will  
certainly sow the seeds of rebellion4   
,no self-respecting child will accept   
such a reason4 ,if at least you make an 
appeal to your superior judgment1 and   
say1 ,mother knows best1 there would be 
something gained4 ,for now you are      
shifting the basis of the child's       
conduct from your position of power over
 her to the highest authority within our
 reach1 namely1 good judgment4 ,the     
child is thus learning to obey not a    
person1 but a principle4  ,expressing   
your wishes in the form of a request1   
modified wherever possible by a reason1 
does not mean that you are to give the  
child a reason for everything he is     
asked to do2 for if the child has       
respect for you and feels your sympathy 
with him1 he will do many things that   

are requested without understanding any 
reason1 but confident1 when he does     
think of the matter1 that you have a    
good reason4 ,in other words1 where     
there have been close sympathy and      
habitual obedience the parent becomes1  
in the child's mind1 the embodiment of  
those ideals or principles toward which 
he feels loyal4  ,in the same way men   
and women who give arbitrary commands   
may get from their assistants formal    
obedience1 but they never get hearty and
 intelligent cooperation4 ,indeed1 it is
 no doubt because we still cling to the 
traditions of earlier times1 when       
personal loyalty and military types of  
virtue were so prominent in the minds of
 men1 that we are so slow to learn the  
need for cooperation in modern times4   
,the need to-day is for leaders who will
 inspire their fellows with enthusiasm  
for cooperation1 who will wisely guide  
their fellows in effective service2 and 
of the corresponding virtues in the     
followers obedience is not the first4   

,and yet we must recognize all the time 
that there are occasions when a person  
must do what he is told to just because 
he is told2 and it were well for one who
 has to take orders to be able to do so 
without fret and bitterness4 ,the child 
should1 however1 come sooner or later to
 distinguish between those commands that
 arise out of real necessities and those
 that arise from the passion or caprice 
of other persons4 ,to the former he must
 learn to submit with the best possible 
grace1 with an effort at understanding1 
or even with a desire to assimilate to  
himself4 ,to the latter he should       
submit1 when forced to1 only under      
protest1 and with the resolve to make   
himself free4  ,that confidence is a    
strong factor in obtaining obedience is 
well illustrated by many boys in every  
village and town4 ,these boys are       
notoriously disobedient at home and at  
school1 but on the baseball field they  
will follow the orders of the captain   
without question4 ,they feet that his   

commands are not arbitrary or           
thoughtless1 that they are not petty and
 personal1 but really for the greatest  
advantage to those concerned4 ,if we can
 inspire in our children such confidence
 in our motives1 we shall have little   
worry about the problem of obedience4   
,in the training of the child we often  
forget that the child will some time    
outgrow his childishness4 ,we must      
consider not only what is the best kind 
of behavior for a child1 but what kinds 
of habits it is best for a child to     
develop in view of his some day becoming
 an adult human being4 ,we want men and 
women to develop into free agents1 that 
is1 people who act in accordance with   
the dictates of their own conscience and
 their best judgment4 ,with this aim in 
view1 how much emphasis should then be  
placed on the matter of obedience8      
,since the infant has no will1 he must  
be guided by others for his own safety  
and for the development of his judgment4
 ,but we do not wish him to retain his  

habits of obedience to others long      
enough to deprive him of his            
independence of thought and action4 ,the
 growing child must learn to repress his
 own many and conflicting impulses1 and 
to select those that he learns to be    
best4 ,but if he obeys always1 he cannot
 acquire judgment and responsibility4   
,he learns through obedience to value   
various kinds of authority1 and         
eventually to choose his authorities2   
his final authority being his conscience
 or principle1 not impulse or whim4 ,he 
learns also by questioning the principle
 of obedience to persons1 and comes to  
guide his conduct by principle or       
conscience1 and not by custom or        
convention4  ,we do not wish to train   
our children for submission1 but for    
judgment and discernment4 ,we must1     
therefore1 respect the child's          
individuality4 ,we are1 however1 not    
obliged to choose between blind1        
unquestioning obedience and the         
undignified situations which arise from 

habitual disobedience4 ,obedience to    
persons as a settled habit is bad4 ,the 
ability to obey promptly and            
intelligently when the commander's      
authority is recognized1--to respond to 
suggestion and guidance1--is desirable4 
,obedience is a tool the parent may use 
with wisdom and discretion4 ,it is not  
an end in discipline or in life4  ,we   
should educate through obedience1--that 
is1 cultivate the habit of intelligent  
response1--but we must not educate for  
obedience1--that is1 the habit of       
submitting to the will of others4       
,,vii4  ,,the ,,training ,,of ,,the     
,,will   ,after all1 what is there about
 a person that really counts8 ,all      
experience and all philosophy agree that
 it is the character2 and the central   
fact in character is the will4 ,yet the 
will is not something in the soul that  
exists by itself1 as a faculty of the   
mind4 ,the will is a product of all the 
other processes that go on in the mind1 
and can not be trained by itself4       

,neither can the will of the child be   
expected to come to its own through     
neglect4 ,indeed1 although the will can 
not be trained by itself1 its training  
is even more important than the training
 of the intellect4 ,the great defect in 
our moral training has been that we have
 generally attempted to train our       
children too exclusively through        
precepts and mottoes and rules1 and too 
little through activities that lead to  
the formation of habits4 ,the will      
depends upon the intellect1 but it      
cannot be trained through learning      
alone1 though learning can be made to   
help4 ,there are1 as we all know1 only  
too many learned men and women with weak
 wills1 and there are many men and women
 of strong character who have had but   
little book learning4 ,the will         
expresses itself through action1 and    
must be trained through action4 ,but    
action is impelled by feelings1 so the  
will must be trained also through the   
feelings4 ,all right education is       

education of the will4 ,the will is     
formed while the child is learning to   
think1 to feel1 and to do4  ,we judge of
 character by the behavior4 ,but our    
behavior is not made up entirely of acts
 of the will4 ,hundreds of situations   
occur that do not require individual    
decision1 but are adequately met by acts
 arising from habit1 or even from       
instinct4 ,the experience of the race   
has given us many customs and manners   
which are for the most part             
satisfactory1 and which the child should
 learn as a matter of course4 ,it is    
thus important that the child should    
acquire certain habits as early in life 
as possible4 ,these habits will not only
 result in saving of energy1 but will   
also give assurance that in certain     
situations the child will act in the    
right way4 ,if it is worth while to have
 a person knock on a door before        
entering an occupied room1 or if it is  
worth while to have people look to the  
left and to the right before crossing a 

thoroughfare1 the child can acquire the 
habit of doing these things always and  
everywhere without stopping to make a   
decision on each occasion4  ,but we must
 remember that in guiding the child to  
the formation of these habits1 example  
and practice are far more important than
 precepts and rules4 ,example is more   
important because the child is very     
imitative2 one rude act on the part of  
some older member of the household will 
counteract the benefit of many verbal   
lessons in politeness4 ,practice is     
important because it is through constant
 repetition of an act that it at last   
becomes automatic1 and is performed     
without thought or attention4 ,in fact1 
this is the only way in which a habit   
can be formed4 ,having acquired habits  
about the common relations of life that 
do not call for new adjustment every    
time they are met1 the mind is left free
 to apply itself to problems that really
 need special consideration4 ,imagine   
how wasteful it would be if we had to   

attend to every movement in dressing    
ourselves6 ,you can easily see that     
there are a great many acts that bring  
us in relation to others and that should
 be as mechanical and automatic as      
dressing and undressing4  ,it is when we
 pass from the routine acts which are   
repeated every day that we come to the  
field in which the will holds sway4     
,there is nothing more helpful in the   
training of the will than the frequent  
performance of tasks requiring          
application1 self control1 and the      
making of decisions4 ,the routine of    
fixed duties in a large and complex     
household furnished to our grandparents1
 during their youth1 just the           
opportunity for the formation of habits 
in attending to what needed to be done1 
without regard to the momentary impulse 
or mood4 ,many of our modern homes are  
so devoid of such opportunities that    
there is great danger that our children 
will have altogether too much practice  
in following their whims and            

caprices--or in doing nothing4  ,it is  
just because the modern home is so      
devoid of the opportunities for carrying
 on these character-building activities 
that provision must be made in that     
other great educational institution1 the
 school4 ,all the newer activities of   
the school1 the shop work and the school
 garden1 the domestic science and the   
sewing1 the recreation centres1 the art 
and the music--all these so-called fads 
and frills against which the taxpayer   
raises his voice in protest-- these     
prove to be even more important in the  
making of men and women out of children 
than the respectable and acceptable     
subjects of the old-fashioned school2   
for these activities are but organized  
and planned substitutes for the         
incidental doings of the childhood of   
other days4 ,they are the formal        
substitutes for the activities by means 
of which a past generation of men and   
women acquired that will-training and   
that insight into relations which       

distinguished their characters4         
,illustration3 ,habits of careful work  
furnish a good foundation for the will4 
,all systematic and sustained effort1   
whether in organizing a game or carrying
 a garden through from the sowing to the
 harvest1 whether in making a dress or a
 chest of drawers1 has its moral value  
as training in application1             
self-control1 and decision1 quite       
distinct from its contribution to       
knowledge or skill4  ,two or three      
generations ago no thought whatever was 
given to the child's point of view2 the 
authority of parents was absolute1 and  
there were many unhappy childhoods4     
,to-day we wish to avoid these errors1  
and by studying the child we hope to    
adjust our treatment to his nature and  
his needs4  ,but we must be on our guard
 against the danger of going to the     
extreme of attributing to the child     
ideas and instincts which he does not   
possess4 ,in former times it was        
considered one of the mother's chief    

duties to break the child's will2       
to-day1 realizing the importance of a   
strong will1 we are in danger of        
assuming that a child's stubbornness or 
wilfulness is a manifestation of a      
strong will1 and we hesitate to         
interfere with it4  ,this is an entirely
 false assumption4 ,in the first place1 
a child up to the age of about three    
years has no will2 he can only have     
strong desires or impulses1 or pet      
aversions4 ,during this period the      
mother's will must be his will1 and     
there can be no clash of wills4 ,but1 to
 be his will1 the mother must guide the 
child in accordance with his needs1 his 
instincts1--that is1 in accordance with 
his nature1 and not in accordance with  
her convenience or caprice4 ,she must   
bear constantly in mind that the child  
is not merely a miniature man or woman1 
but that each stage in his development  
represents a distinct combination of    
instincts1 impulses and capacities4 ,if1
 for example1 your little girl is       

digging in the dirt--a very natural and 
healthful activity--and you stop her for
 no better reason than that she will    
soil her hands or clothes1 you are      
unduly interfering with her1 and if you 
continue in that way1 you will either   
make a defiant1 disagreeable youngster  
or a servile1 cringing slave to         
arbitrary authority4 ,on the other hand1
 if ,johnny should wish to play with a  
knife or a box of matches1 it manifestly
 devolves upon you to take these objects
 away from him1 no matter how strong his
 desire to have them may be4 ,but it    
also devolves upon you to see that such 
harmful objects are not very easy for   
him to obtain and to see to it that     
plenty of other harmless things are     
provided for him4  ,this suggests a     
common mistake parents and loving       
friends often make in meeting the       
uncomfortable assertions of the child's 
will4 ,when the child cries for the     
moon1 you try to get him interested in a
 jack-in-the-box2 and when he wants a   

fragile piece of bric-a-brac-- you try  
to substitute for it a tin whistle4     
,with a very young child1 that is about 
all you can do4 ,but a time comes when  
the child is old enough to know the     
difference between that upon which he   
has set his heart and that which you    
have substituted for it in his hand4 ,at
 this time you must stop offering       
substitutes4 ,the child is now old      
enough to understand that some things   
are not to be had1 and that crying for  
them will not bring them4 ,to offer him 
a substitute is now not only an insult  
to his intelligence1 but it is          
demoralizing to his will2 it makes for a
 loose hold upon the object of his      
desire--and it is the firmness of this  
hold that is the beginning of a strong  
will4 ,it does not take the child long  
to learn that he is not to have a knife 
or a lighted lamp2 nor does it take him 
long to get into the way of scattering  
his desires1 so that he has no will at  
all4  ,in the second place1 the         

assumption that stubbornness is a sign  
of strength is false1 even for older    
children4 ,stubbornness is1 in fact1 a  
sign of weakness4 ,it indicates that the
 child is either incapable of adjusting 
himself to the appeal that is made to   
his judgment or feelings1 or that his   
weakness will make it impossible for him
 in the presence of his immediate desire
 to recognize the superior judgment and 
authority of his elders1 at home or in  
school4 ,it takes much more will power  
to give in than to carry one's point4   
,but we must always make sure that we   
are not the obstinate and wilful ones4  
,if you have a very good reason for not 
wanting ,helen to go to the dance--even 
if she is too young to understand that  
reason--you are perfectly justified in  
carrying your point4 ,if your reason is 
a wise one1 she will come to see it in  
time and will honor and respect you all 
the more for not having given in to her 
impetuous and immature desire4 ,if she  
gives in gracefully1 because she can    

understand the reasons1 or just out of  
respect for your wishes1 having found   
your guidance wise before1 hers as well 
as yours is the triumph4 ,the only thing
 of which we must make sure is that we  
are right to the best of our            
understanding1 and that we do not insist
 upon having our way just because1--oh1 
well1 just because we have a right to   
have our way1 being in authority4 ,as   
,g4 ,stanley ,hall1 the father of child 
study in this country1 has so well said3
 ,our will should be a rock1 not a wave2
 our requirements should be uniform1    
with no whim1 no mood or periodicity    
about them4 ,having made sure of        
ourselves1 we need not fear that        
training our wilful children will weaken
 their will4  ,we must not neglect to   
consider the very close relation that   
exists between the health of the body   
and the health of the spirit4 ,a strong 
will1 showing itself in ability to      
concentrate its efforts on a chosen     
purpose1 is not to be expected in a     

child whose muscles are flabby and whose
 nerves quickly tire4 ,since the will   
expresses itself in action1 it can be   
best cultivated in a body capable of    
vigorous action4  ,the young child is   
not only a bundle of bones and muscles2 
it is also a bundle of impulses4 ,and   
some of these impulses lead to actions  
that are quite desirable1 while others  
lead to actions that are indifferent1   
and still others to actions that are    
decidedly undesirable4 ,but1 so far as  
the child is concerned1 he has no means 
of discriminating between one kind of   
impulse and another4 ,he would just as  
soon carry poison to his mouth as good  
food2 he would rather grasp at a flame  
than at a harmless rattle4 ,one of the  
essentials then becomes suitable        
knowledge4 ,as the child grows older he 
should gradually learn that knowledge is
 necessary to wise choice4 ,it is not so
 much the knowledge of what is commonly 
called good or evil as the knowledge of 
relations and needs that will enable him

 to choose ends1 and to choose effective
 means toward those ends4 ,yet we cannot
 begin too early to have such           
considerations as ,it is right1 or ,it  
is best1 rather than ,i want it1        
influence the conduct of our children4  
,but1 in order to do the right1 we have 
to know the right1 and the children who 
get these moral lessons in their homes  
are fortunate indeed4 ,it is here the   
child should acquire his feeling of     
loyalty to duty1 for such lessons       
learned in the home are the most        
impressive and the most enduring4 ,we   
must also make certain that children all
 through their lives at home are given  
opportunity for choice and decision4    
,in this matter of making decisions     
there is a great deal of individual     
variation1 and even distinct types of   
persons have been described1 according  
to the way they reach decisions4 ,at one
 extreme is the child--or the grown     
person--who apparently without any      
effort balances the reasons that may be 

given on the opposite sides of a        
problem1 and makes his choice solely on 
the strength of the reasoned argument4  
,herbert ,spencer tells in his          
,autobiography how1 when a young man1 he
 wrote down1 as in a ledger1 all the    
advantages and all the disadvantages he 
could think of in regard to the married 
state4 ,after checking off the items on 
the two sides of the account1 he found a
 balance in favor of remaining single4  
,later in life he had his doubts as to  
whether the decision was a wise one1 but
 it was the best he could make under the
 circumstances1 for he made use of all  
the knowledge at his command and stood  
by his reasoned decision4  ,at the      
opposite extreme is the person who      
resolves to do what is right 7although  
he may have no systematic means of      
discovering what is right71 and carries 
out his resolution at the cost of       
frequently painful effort4 ,to such     
persons there is a kind of association  
between what is easy and what is wrong  

on the one hand1 and between what is    
difficult and what is right on the      
other4 ,our early ,puritans were men of 
this type1 and there is much to admire  
in the sturdiness with which they       
crushed their impulses in the resolve to
 carry out their ideals of the right4   
,almost complete lack of will is shown  
by those who reach their decisions--by  
not reaching them4 ,that is1 there are  
those doubting1 hesitating souls who    
postpone making a decision until action 
is forced upon them by some accidental  
event4 ,these let other persons or the  
course of events make their decisions   
for them4 ,there is such a delicate     
balancing of the desires--usually       
because all desires are equally         
weak--that none stands out to dominate  
the choice of a line of action4 ,george 
wanted to go to the circus1 and had     
saved enough from his weekly allowance2 
but he was saving up to buy a rifle1 and
 he was undecided now as to whether he  
would go to the circus or add to his    

savings and get the rifle so much the   
sooner4 ,the sight of some other boys on
 the way to the circus made the decision
 for him4 ,this decision was not a      
reasoned one1 but an accidental one4    
,similar in its weakness is the will    
that reaches no decisions except as the 
balance is upset by later impulses from 
within4 ,the girl or boy who allows a   
slight headache or a tired feeling to   
make important decisions cannot be said 
to have much strength of character4 ,on 
,saturday ,mabel was to have gone on a  
steamboat excursion--or on a visit to a 
friend1 to stay over night4 ,when she   
went to sleep ,friday night she had not 
yet made up her mind2 but she finally   
went to visit her friend because she had
 over-slept and was too late to join the
 excursion party4  ,children that have  
not acquired habits of making definite  
decisions will find themselves badly    
adrift when they reach the adolescent   
period1 with its rapid changes of mood  
and the masses of frequently conflicting

 impulses4 ,to be able to restrain each 
impulse to action as it arises1 and to  
hold it in abeyance until all the       
alternatives have been canvassed1 is a  
power that comes only after years of    
thought and practice4  ,however1 it is  
not enough to be able to refrain from   
doing what one is impelled to do4 ,many 
mothers think that they are training the
 child's will when they prohibit the    
taking or handling of various things    
about the house4 ,it is true that the   
child should learn when quite young to  
avoid certain objects4 ,but if the      
prohibitions are too general the child  
will be frequently tempted to break the 
rules1 and then he will fall in his own 
esteem2 or he will observe the rule and 
have too little outlet for his activity 
and initiative4 ,the will does not      
thrive on what the child is prevented   
from doing1 but on what the child       
actually does do4  ,the child's need is 
for practice in doing and in choosing   
what he will do4 ,when activities or    

games are suggested to a younger child1 
it is best to give him a choice of two  
or three4 ,when the children are older  
they can be consulted about the purchase
 of their clothes1 and they ought       
gradually to assume their share--a small
 one at first--of the responsibility of 
the household4 ,as early as possible    
they should have their own money to     
spend1 as in no other way can they learn
 the use of judgment and decision in the
 spending of money4 ,in the households  
wherein children do not have such       
opportunities1 but in which the parents 
rule everything with a high hand1 the   
children grow up very inefficient in    
managing their time and their money2    
they have become accustomed to being    
ruled and flounder helplessly when      
called upon to decide for themselves4   
,the will1 which is at the heart of     
moral conduct and which is so much in   
need of training1 cannot1 as we have    
seen1 be trained as a thing by itself4  
,all training and all education must    

contribute to the training of the will4 
,still1 there are some definite points  
that we can profitably keep in mind when
 we are concerned with the child's will3
  ,first of all comes sound bodily      
health4  ,then there must be sound      
habits for most of the everyday         
activities1 that the will may not be    
dissipated upon trivial matters1 and    
that the common duties and virtues may  
be assured4  ,there must be constant    
practice in sustained effort and        
concentration upon useful tasks1 in     
order to fix the habit of holding the   
attention upon the chosen purpose4  ,we 
must not confuse wilfulness with        
strength of will2 and1 finally1  ,there 
must be constant opportunity for making 
decisions that the child may feel       
responsibility in making of decisions as
 the highest type of conduct4           
,,viii4  ,,how ,,children ,,reason      
,those children will not listen to      
reason1 said a friend whom ,i discovered
 in an agitated state of mind one       

afternoon1 when ,i came to make a call2 
and she was by no means the first to    
make this observation4 ,indeed1 it is   
one of the characteristics of children  
that they will not listen to            
reason1--that is1 our reason4 ,which is 
not1 however1 saying anything against   
the children's good sense1 for people   
with much more experience have refused  
to listen to reason--the children's     
reason4  ,margaret told me her troubles4
 ,her sister had rented a farm near the 
city for the summer and had offered to  
let ,walter spend his vacation with her 
in exchange for such bits of help as he 
was able to render4 ,but ,walter had    
made up his mind to go to work in an    
office that summer1 and1 although he    
loved the country and had always wanted 
to drive a horse and go fishing1 his    
mother's attempts to convince him of the
 wisdom of her choice were without      
avail4 ,he would not listen to her      
reasons4 ,she pointed to the health     
argument1 to the opportunities for play1

 the free time1 the driving1 the        
fishing1 and the fruit without limit4   
,knowing ,walter as ,i did1 ,i could not
 understand why it was so hard to       
convince him4  ,but every story has at  
least two sides to it1 and of this story
 ,i had heard only one4 ,the mother was 
so concerned with giving her son her    
good reasons for going to the country   
that she never even thought of finding  
out his equally good reasons for going  
to the office4 ,presently1 however1     
,walter came in1 and my first leading   
question brought out the true secret of 
the disagreement4  ,what is there about 
working in an office1 ,i asked the boy1 
that you care so much about8  ,oh1 it   
isn't working in an office that ,i care 
about2 ,i just want to earn some money4 
,i never did make any money myself1 and 
now ,i have a good chance and mother    
won't let me4  ,this was really too     
simple2 here two sane persons had spent 
several days on the problem without     
coming to any solution4 ,by placing     

,walter's services on the farm on a     
financial basis and making him pay for  
his board he managed to spend his       
vacation1 healthfully and happily and   
profitably in every sense2 and everybody
 was satisfied4  ,over and over again we
 are impressed with the fact that most  
disagreements between people--whether   
between adults or between children1 or  
between children and adults--are due to 
misunderstandings4 ,as soon as parents  
resolve not to treat their children     
arbitrarily1-- that is1 on the basis of 
their superior strength and             
authority1--they adopt a plan of        
reasoning with them4 ,this plan might   
work very well1 if the parents only     
understood the children's way of        
reasoning1 if they but realized that the
 child does not reason as do adults1    
that he reasons differently in each     
stage of his development4  ,our manner  
of reasoning depends very closely upon  
our language4 ,but every significant    
word that we use has a distinct meaning 

in the mind of the individual1 depending
 altogether upon his experience4 ,as the
 experience of the child is very meagre1
 compared to that of the grown-up       
person1 it is no wonder that our        
everyday remarks are constant sources of
 misunderstanding to children4  ,the    
little girl who had been frequently     
reproved for not using her right hand   
came to have a positive dislike for her 
other hand1 which she naturally         
understood to be wrong hand1 and she did
 not wish to have anything wrong about  
her person4 ,a boy was trying to tell   
his sister the meaning of homesick4 ,you
 know how it feels to be seasick1 don't 
you8 ,well1 it's the same way1 only it's
 at home4  ,children are apt to attach  
to a word the first meaning that they   
learn in connection with it4 ,only with 
the increase of experience can a word   
come to have more than one meaning4     
,moreover1 the child will apply what he 
hears with fatal exactness and          
literalness4  ,two little girls were at 

a party and the older one found occasion
 to slap her sister's hand4 ,the hostess
 reproved her for this1 whereupon the   
little girl asked1 ,isn't she my own    
sister8 ,the hostess had to admit that  
she was4 ,well1 ,i heard papa say that  
he can do what he likes with his own4   
,doing what we like with our own meant  
to the child exactly what the words     
said1 without those qualifications which
 we naturally put in because of our     
greater experience4  ,children learn    
with wonder that mother was once a baby1
 and that father was once a baby1 and so
 on4 ,dr4 ,sully tells of the little    
girl who asked her mother1 ,when        
everybody was a baby1 then who could be 
the nurse if they were all babies8 ,thus
 shows real reasoning power2 it was not 
the child's fault that she had no       
historical perspective1 and so could not
 see the babyhoods of different people  
in their proper relations in time4  ,a  
little boy who was beginning to read    
deciphered a sign in a grocery store1   

,families supplied4 ,he asked his mother
 whether they could not get a new baby  
there4  ,when ,herbert was passing      
through the scissors stage he cut a hole
 in his father's coat4 ,the father      
scolded him for spoiling his suit2      
,herbert calmly replied1 ,i did not cut 
your suit2 ,i only cut the coat4 ,he    
resented this accusation1 which in his  
mind was not merely an exaggeration1 but
 entirely false1 since a suit is a suit 
and a coat is a coat4  ,a little girl1  
while out with her nurse and brother1   
got lost by separating herself from the 
nurse's side4 ,when she was at last     
found she was reprimanded for running   
away from the nurse4 ,she felt that she 
was being unjustly treated1 for she     
said1 ,i did not run away2 ,i only stood
 away1 meaning1 she had stepped around  
the corner to look in a window4 ,if she 
had been scolded for getting out of     
sight of the nurse1 she would have felt 
justly reproved2 but1 accused of doing  
something she never did and never       

thought of doing1--that is1 running     
away1--she naturally resented this4     
,those who have to deal with children in
 an intimate way cannot be too          
scrupulous about how they use their     
words4  ,the logic of children often    
appears to us all wrong until we take   
the trouble to see how they come to     
their queer conclusions4  ,the story is 
told of a boy who was sent to the circus
 in the neighboring town by his uncle1  
who gave him an additional quarter so   
you can ride back in case it rains4     
,well1 it did rain1 and ,howard came    
back riding on the top seat1 next to the
 driver1 wet to the skin4 ,now1 any     
grown-up person knows why he was to ride
 back in case it rains2 but to ,howard  
the association of ideas was directly   
between raining and riding1 and not     
between riding and coming home dry4     
,this illustrates a very common         
difference between the reasoning of     
children and that of adults4 ,we select 
ideas from a situation and combine them 

and come to conclusions4 ,the child     
combines ideas1 but he does not make any
 selection1 and the simple explanation  
for this lies in the fact that the child
 has not enough experience to enable him
 to select what is significant4 ,thus a 
little girl1 who had been too boisterous
 in her play1 was called in by her      
mother and made to sit quietly in a     
chair for about ten minutes4 ,at the end
 of this time her mother asked her      
whether she would be good now4 ,the     
child promised that she would1 and was  
told that she might then go out to play 
again4 ,as she arose she affectionately 
turned to the chair and said1 ,thank    
you1 dear chair1 for making me so good4 
,having been declared good after sitting
 in the chair1 she attributed the       
beneficent change in her behavior to the
 chair2 and1 being a polite little girl1
 she thanked the chair4  ,very often    
these simple types of reasoning have    
their humorous aspects and we do not    
take them seriously4 ,one winter a      

little boy who had always gone to bed   
regularly 7he was four and a half years 
old then7 began to call for some one to 
come to him after he was supposed to be 
asleep4 ,he wanted to sit up and play1  
he wanted to get dressed1 and he wanted 
something more to eat4 ,this continued  
for several evenings1 and it seemed     
impossible to get him back into his good
 habits4 ,at last he was asked1 ,why do 
you want to get up now8 and he answered 
at once1 ,because it is winter now4     
,yes1 it is winter now1 but it is time  
for you to be asleep1 he was told4  ,but
 it says in the book that ,i must get   
up1 he insisted4  ,which book8  ,i will 
show you1 and he took from his shelf a  
copy of ,stevenson's ,garden of ,verses1
 and turned to the picture opposite the 
poem that begins3  ,in winter ,i get up 
at night ,and dress by yellow candle    
light4  ,to him this meant that in      
winter1 after going to bed1 at night1   
one must get up and dress4 ,it is very  
likely many children who have had this  

delightful poem read to them have       
interpreted it in the same way1 but     
probably very few parents have taken the
 pains to trace their children's        
unaccountable misbehavior at bedtime to 
such a source4  ,this same poem produced
 in another child quite a different     
train of reasoning1 for ,why did the    
little girl get up at night and sleep in
 the daytime8 he asked1 ,was she a      
trained nurse8 ,it then became necessary
 to recall that an aunt of the child's1 
who was a trained nurse1 often slept at 
home during the day1 after having worked
 with some patient at night4  ,there is 
no doubt that many of the crotchets and 
perversities of a child have their      
origin in chains of reasoning that are  
perfectly legitimate1 in view of the    
past experiences of the young mind1     
although not in harmony with the        
reasoning of more mature minds4 ,the    
parent spends much time and energy1 and 
much heartburning1 sometimes1 to        
overcome these whims4 ,what is needed is

 a patient and sympathetic attempt to   
discover how the child has come to his  
queer ideas and desires4  ,the annoyance
 that children cause us with their      
questionings is due very largely to the 
fact that we cannot answer their        
questions1 since the reasoning that     
prompts them is too searching4 ,a little
 boy shocked and vexed his grandmother1 
who was trying to teach him the elements
 of theology1 by asking ,who made ,god8 
,it is very likely that every normal    
child has asked the same question in one
 form or another4 ,this attempt to reach
 back to the very beginning of causes   
resembles in many ways the speculations 
of the mediaeval metaphysicians1 and    
should certainly not be discouraged4 ,we
 need not1 on the other hand1 make the  
effort to answer every question a child 
may ask1 for at a certain stage in his  
development he will get the habit of    
asking questions without really caring  
for the answers4 ,but the questions are 
worth hearing1 in most cases1 just to   

help us understand how the child does   
reason4 ,some of the questions indicate 
a great deal of reasoning of a very     
valuable kind4 ,when the little boy     
asks1 ,why don't ,i see two things with 
my two eyes8 or when the little girl    
looks up from her dolls and asks1 ,am ,i
 real1 or just pretend1 like my doll8   
they show that they have been thinking4 
,when a child has passed through the    
metaphysical stage of reasoning1 he will
 be more interested in animals and other
 objects of ,nature2 and his questions  
will have to do more with the operation 
of processes--how he grows1 and how     
fishes breathe in the water1 and how    
birds fly4 ,later1 he wants to know how 
things work1 what makes the locomotive  
go1 how the noise goes through the      
telephone1 how the incubator makes      
chickens come out of eggs4 ,the         
reasoning of the child may lead to weird
 conclusions1 but it is real reasoning1 
and can be improved not by being        
ridiculed1 nor by being suppressed1 but 

by being sympathetically understood and 
encouraged4  ,perhaps the most serious  
phase of the peculiarities of children's
 reasoning appears with older children  
when it comes to reasoning about right  
and wrong conduct4 ,professor ,swift1 of
 ,washington ,university1 has made a    
careful study of this subject1 from     
replies given by many men to questions  
about their ideas as boys4 ,it seems    
that men who are irreproachable in their
 moral standards pass through a stage in
 which they consider it legitimate fun  
to rob orchards or to commit petty      
thefts4  ,children draw fine            
distinctions between wrong acts and acts
 that are not very wrong1 though they   
may not be quite right4 ,one man says1  
,i distinguished between taking money1  
real stealing1 and taking fruit4        
,another says of fruit taking1 ,i only  
partly regarded it as stealing4 ,one man
 writes1 ,when a close-fisted employer  
refused to let me have my clothes at    
cost1 ,i pocketed enough of his change  

to bring my clothes down to the cost    
mark4 ,few regarded taking money from   
their parents as very bad1 and          
distinguished between such stealing and 
taking money from strangers4  ,a boy of 
fifteen was reproved for holding his ear
 to the keyhole of a room in which his  
mother and sisters were having an       
animated discussion4 ,the appellation   
eavesdropper did not disconcert him in  
the least4 ,on the contrary1 he         
undertook to justify his conduct on the 
ground that he was being discussed1 and 
as he had no dictagraph he was obliged  
to do the listening in person4 ,the fact
 that the dictagraph had been so        
frequently used for getting information 
that was later used in court was to him 
a sufficient justification of his       
conduct4  ,it is well known that all    
children pass through the stage         
illustrated by these cases1 in which    
they have the savage's conception of    
right and wrong4 ,for most children the 
difference between going to the         

reformatory or jail and turning out     
decent men and women is one of wholesome
 and sympathetic environment4 ,undue    
severity1 no less than bad example1     
confirms many a youth in these          
habits--which should represent but a    
passing stage in his development4       
,adults should not read their own ideas 
of morality into the acts of their      
children and then catalogue them as     
right or wrong4 ,most children's acts   
are neither right nor wrong3 they are   
merely expressions of feelings and ideas
 peculiar to the stage of development4  
,with young children ideas of right and 
wrong divide themselves into acts which 
are permitted and those which are       
forbidden4 ,they have no conception of  
right and wrong beyond that4  ,many an  
act that a boy commits1 which we        
consider wrong1 is but the expression of
 the instincts of his age4 ,our duty    
consists in helping him to pass through 
that stage without making permanent     
habits of these temporary impulses4     

,this help must not be given through    
branding the acts as wicked or criminal1
 nor is moralizing itself generally     
effective4 ,help must come through      
providing adequate opportunities for    
play and games and work that will use up
 surplus energy both of mind and body4  
,above all1 help must come through the  
healthy examples and the constant       
manifestation of high ideals in the     
home4  ,every normal child will in time 
respond to these influences4 ,there are1
 unfortunately1 some children that will 
not develop beyond this stage of        
primitive1 savage instincts2 but such   
abnormal children are rare and we cannot
 deal with them here4  ,with the problem
 of reasoning1 then1 as with all other  
aspects of child training1 it is a      
question of understanding1 of being in  
close relations with one's children1 and
 being able to fathom the workings of   
their minds4     ,,ix4  ,,work ,,and    
,,play   ,all work and no play makes    
,jack a dull boy4 ,and it is this same  

lack of play that produces so many dull 
men and women2 for the spirit of play is
 the spirit of youth and spontaneity and
 joy4 ,yet work and play have so much in
 common that it seems unfortunate indeed
 that all of us have not learned to     
retain our youth when work becomes      
necessary4  ,i trust that there are few 
to-day who still believe that play is   
wicked4 ,if we desire our children to   
grow up into healthy and joyful and     
moral men and women1 then must we       
consider play a necessity of life4 ,for 
play is more than merely a pleasant     
means for passing the time2 it is a     
school of life1 it is a means for       
physical1 mental1 and moral education4  
,the young child1 before he is old      
enough to play horse1 or to imitate     
other activities he sees going on around
 him1 gets his play from handling a     
rattle or a ball1 from random movements 
of his legs and arms1 or from playing   
with his fingers and his toes4 ,he      
derives satisfaction from the sensations

 of touch and sight and sound1 as well  
as from the feeling of freedom and the  
sensation of his active muscles4 ,but   
this infantile play is not only         
satisfying to the child2 it is a means  
for learning the use of his little hands
 and arms and legs4 ,when the baby      
learns to crawl1 and later to walk1 he  
derives pleasure from the exercise of   
his newly-acquired arts1 and at the same
 time attains perfection in the use of  
his limbs and in the correlation of his 
muscles4 ,he is also gaining strength   
with his growth1 for these muscles will 
not gain in strength unless they are    
exercised4 ,of course1 the child does   
not know about these advantages of play2
 but the mother should know and give the
 growing child every opportunity to     
exercise himself in every possible way2 
for thus alone can he gain in strength1 
in endurance1 and in confidence4  ,when 
the child is a little older his play    
takes on new forms1 for he is now       
deliberately making things3 the chairs  

become wagons and animals1 the corner of
 the room may be made into a lake1 a    
pencil or a button-hook is quite long   
enough for a fishing pole1 and a handful
 of beans may be converted into all     
kinds of merchandise1 coins for barter1 
a flock of birds1 or seaside pebbles4   
,that is1 as the child's experience     
broadens1 he finds more to imitate1 he  
exercises his imagination more1 and     
combines into more complex plays the    
materials he finds about him4 ,but all  
the time the child is working1 as much  
so as an artisan at his task2 and all   
the time the child is learning1 more    
rapidly probably than if he were at     
school2 and all the time the child is   
playing1 that is1 enjoying the outlet of
 his impulses4  ,illustration3 ,work is 
play4  ,play has been called the ideal  
type of exercise1 because it is the kind
 of exercise that occupies the whole    
child1 his mental as well as his        
physical side--and later1 also1 the     
moral side4 ,in play the exercise is    

regulated by the interests1 so that1    
while there may be extreme exertion1    
there is not the same danger of         
overstrain as is possible with work that
 he is forced to do4 ,in play the       
exercise is carried on with freedom of  
the spirit1 so that the flow of blood   
and the feeling of exhilaration make for
 health4  ,when children begin to play  
at work their activities are not        
entirely imitative1 although the kind of
 work they choose will be determined by 
the kinds of activities that go on about
 them4 ,the child has real interests in 
work2 and these should be encouraged and
 cultivated4 ,the chief interest is1    
perhaps1 the growing sense of mastery   
over the materials which the child uses4
 ,he can make blocks take on any form he
 pleases2 although the first houses he  
tries to build are apt to be just a     
random piling of his material1 there    
follows a growing deliberation and      
planning1 so that he comes at last to   
make what he has intended to make1 and  

not merely produce an accidental result4
  ,the earlier plays of the child are   
not at all in the nature of games2 there
 is not at first the need for a         
companion4 ,there is no special order in
 which the various acts of his play have
 to be carried out4 ,when he plays horse
 on a stick1 or is a parade all by      
himself1 or plays house in the corner1 a
 few simple movements are repeated until
 the child is tired of them1 or until   
something occurs to shift his interest4 
,nor is there in these early plays a    
special point that marks the end of the 
interest4 ,in games1 however1 these     
three factors are always present3 it    
takes two or more to play a game2 there 
is a definite order or succession of    
events1 and there is a definite finish  
or climax4 ,and as we watch the children
 at their games we can see their whole  
mental and moral development unfold     
before us1 for nothing is more          
characteristic of a child's stage of    
development than the games in which he  

is interested4  ,while we are content to
 let the younger children play as much  
as they like--because very often the    
more they play1 the less they annoy     
us--we are all inclined to expect of the
 older children an increasing share of  
work and a declining interest in play4  
,some of us are even inclined to        
discourage the play instinct as the     
children grow older1 because we have    
come to think of play as something not  
only frivolous and useless1 but even a  
harmful waste of time4 ,now1 the        
educational value of play keeps pace    
with the development of the child4 ,that
 is to say1 the child outgrows interest 
in games about as fast as these lose    
their educational value4 ,the new games 
that the child takes up year after year 
always have something new to teach him4 
,illustration3 ,let them romp in winter 
as well as in summer4  ,the plays of the
 early period develop his sense         
perceptions1 they give practice in      
seeing and hearing and touching with    

quick discernment4 ,then for four or    
five years play gives increased mastery 
of the child's own body1 and over the   
objects and materials with which he     
plays4 ,running and jumping are for     
skill and for speed2 the competitive    
instincts drive each to do the best he  
can for himself4 ,later the games give  
exercise in the adjustment of the child 
not only to his material surroundings1  
but also to other children2 in other    
words1 he learns to take his place among
 other human beings4 ,from the games in 
which the children take their turns at  
some activity the timid child learns    
that he has equal rights with others1   
and acquires self-confidence2 whereas   
the child disposed to be overbearing    
learns the equally necessary lesson that
 others have rights which he must       
respect4 ,every child learns from these 
games how to be a good loser as well as 
how to be a good winner4 ,just those    
qualities that make an adult an         
agreeable associate in business or in   

social dealings are brought out by these
 games as they can be by no ordinary    
form of work which the children have a  
chance to do4  ,it is only in very      
recent times that we have begun to      
notice that the work required of the    
children in the schools is of a kind    
that either ignores the development of  
the social instincts or actually hinders
 them1 so that the moral or social      
effect of successful school work is     
frequently very undesirable4 ,when a    
child is set to do some work by himself1
 even if the work is not too difficult  
for him1 there is no exercise for the   
social instinct1 and the work must be   
very interesting indeed to hold his     
continued attention4 ,as the child grows
 older there is increasing need for     
social stimulation of the cooperative   
kind and less of the emulative kind4    
,where the experiment has been tried of 
having the children approach their      
school work as they approach a game1    
with the feeling of getting at an       

interesting goal1 with opportunities for
 each to do his best for the whole group
 and to help the others1 the work       
becomes as interesting as a game1 and   
acquires the same educational value as a
 good game well played4 ,in the home we 
might often get the necessary work done 
with more expedition and with better    
spirit if we recognized the child's need
 of constant outlet for his emotions1   
and if we recognized the depressing     
effect of routine and solitude and      
monotony4 ,one of the chief reasons why 
working girls prefer to go to shops and 
factories1 as against domestic service1 
lies just in this natural instinct for  
society4 ,the work of the household has 
much more variety than the work of a    
factory2 but most of it has to be done  
in solitude1 without the stimulation    
that comes from the companionship of    
others doing the same thing1 or at least
 working within reach of the voice4     
,illustration3 ,in their games they     
should learn to lose as well as to win4 

,the truly wonderful transformations in 
character that have been worked in girls
 and in boys by means of well-organized 
play have taught us the moral value of  
team-work for the older children4 ,in   
these games1 which come at a period when
 the child has already acquired         
considerable skill and strength1 the    
chief interest is in doing the best for 
the team1 so that the individual learns 
the importance of subordinating himself 
to a common purpose4 ,he learns the joy 
of contributing his best to his side    
without considering his individual glory
 or gains4 ,in this way he acquires that
 negative but very important side of    
self-control which consists in the      
ability to avoid doing what the impulse 
would drive him to4 ,he learns also the 
importance of dreary drudgery1 in his   
practice work1 for acquiring special    
skill1 and a boy will spend hours in    
such dull practice1 animated by the     
desire not to excel some other          
individual1 but by the desire to help   

his team win4 ,he learns not only to    
take his place in the game1 but to judge
 his companions by their special ability
 and by their value to the group1 rather
 than by clothes or personal feelings or
 other outward and incidental facts4    
,all these things the team game teaches 
as no mere instruction1 whether in      
school or home1 can teach4  ,we have    
learned from the results of these play  
activities with all kinds of children in
 the city and in the country1 of rich   
and of poor1 that the spirit of the game
 is not only capable of stimulating the 
growing boy and girl to a tremendous    
amount of exertion1 but also of         
organizing his or her feelings and      
ideals into effective moral and social  
standards4 ,and when the same spirit is 
applied to work1 we can get the same    
valuable educative results1 with the    
addition of a higher appreciation of    
work as work than usually comes from an 
early experience with doing necessary   
but disagreeable tasks4 ,for example1 in

 one city the shop work of classes of   
boys was organized on a cooperative     
basis4 ,the boys worked in teams for the
 making of desks or cabinets4 ,the      
results1 as measured by finished product
 or by the quality of the workmanship1  
were far ahead of what the same         
instructors could get from the same boys
 when the attempt was made to stimulate 
the workers by means of prizes and      
individual rewards4 ,children can learn 
to work together as well as to play     
together4 ,if you have noticed that two 
workers very often do half as much work 
in a given time as one worker1 it is    
because they have not learned to work   
together--they have been denied the     
opportunity of learning this1 and now   
take occasion1 when they do get         
together1 to do almost everything but   
work4  ,there are many opportunities in 
the ordinary household to teach girls   
and boys to do useful work in a spirit  
very similar to that which they put into
 their games4 ,it may not be possible to

 make all the necessary work as         
interesting as games1 but the remoter   
purpose of the work1 whether it is to   
accomplish something whose need is      
recognized by the child1 or the hope of 
some reward1 should make for close      
attention to the task in hand4 ,for     
example1 after a certain age1 sweeping  
and other household tasks lose their    
play interest2 but if the girl has      
become skilful enough to do the sweeping
 without tiring1 her recognition of the 
necessity of the work or her thought of 
what she wants to do when the task is   
accomplished should make it possible to 
get through with this work without a    
feeling of hardship4 ,some educators    
approve of allotting definite tasks to  
the girls and boys1 and compensating    
them in definite amounts4 ,this gives   
them not only a measure of the value of 
their service1 but makes them feel the  
responsibility of each contributing     
toward the maintenance of the           
establishment4 ,the main thing is that  

the children shall not look upon work as
 a cruel imposition2 and to this end we 
should develop the spirit of helpfulness
 and cooperation--and to transfer this  
spirit1 already developed in play1 to   
the work that has to be accomplished4   
,one form of the expression of the play 
instinct has come lately to arouse a    
great deal of public interest1 and that 
is the dance4 ,books have been written  
about the history of the dance1 the     
esthetics of the dance1 the technique of
 the dance1 the symbolism of the dance1 
and many other aspects4 ,what concerns  
the parent chiefly is to know that the  
dance is at once a healthful exercise1  
an important aid to social adjustment1  
and a valuable safety-valve for the     
emotions4  ,with the rapid growth of our
 cities we have come suddenly to realize
 that nearly half of the nation's       
children have no place in which to play1
 since the open fields and vacant lots  
have been invaded by warehouses and     
factories and tenements4 ,and so the    

playground movement has gained rapid    
headway4 ,playgrounds have been         
established1 and placed in charge of    
competent and enthusiastic leaders1 who 
are teaching the children something they
 never should have unlearned4 ,but at   
the same time we are coming to realize  
that the children in the country and in 
small towns1 although they have plenty  
of space1 have not really had the       
opportunity to get the most out of their
 play activities4 ,it would seem that   
even the instinct of play can be made to
 work to better purpose when it is      
intelligently directed4 ,it is our duty1
 then1 to provide not only play space   
and play time1 but also play material   
and1 where possible1 play direction4 ,it
 is our further duty to keep alive in   
ourselves1 as far as possible1 the      
spirit of play2 for there is no one     
thing that will do so much to keep us   
young and in sympathy with our children 
as the ability to play as they play1 and
 to play with them4  ,excepting only the

 infant when playing with his fingers   
and toes1 the child must play with some 
person or with some thing4 ,the         
selection of suitable toys becomes a    
more serious problem than is commonly   
realized1 when we once recognize the    
great influence of play upon the child4 
,stepping into the toy shop1 we are     
confronted by a multitude of objects1   
the variety and quantity of which are   
distracting4 ,everything that the       
ingenuity of man could devise is here   
presented to our astonished eyes1 and   
children gaze upon the great spectacle  
and are delighted4 ,if we go to the     
store just to be amused or to buy       
something1 a very indefinite something  
for a child of a certain age1 we are    
quickly satisfied4 ,but if we have in   
our mind some idea as to what is really 
good for the child who is to receive the
 gift1 it is just as hard to find the   
right thing to-day in the immense1      
up-to-date toy store as in the little   
general store that also keeps toys4 ,the

 manufacture of toys has grown to a     
tremendous industry1 but with no ideal  
behind it1 no guiding educational       
principle4 ,toys are made to            
sell1--having fulfilled that function   
the manufacturer is not further         
concerned4 ,consequently1 toys are made 
to attract the eye2 durability1 use1 and
 need from the child's point of view are
 rarely considered4  ,in selecting toys 
we must not consider what would amuse or
 entertain its1 but solely the child's  
need1 and this need will differ at the  
various stages in his development4      
,illustration3 ,don't forget how to play
 with the children4  ,for the little    
child who has no skill1 we want to get  
toys that exercise the large muscles2 he
 should have blocks that are large4 ,it 
is a common mistake to suppose small    
toys are suitable for small children2   
within certain limits just the opposite 
is true4  ,young children can also use  
toys that merely need to be manipulated 
without having much significance4       

,things that can be taken apart and put 
together are enjoyed and are very       
instructive4  ,a child should get from  
his toys a bare suggestion of the       
object1 and not a lifelike              
representation that will be of interest 
to the critical adult4 ,refinement of   
finish and realistic representation are 
entirely wasted on the child4 ,a massive
 wooden dog or bird is better than a    
furry or feathery one4 ,it is enough of 
a dog or bird1 so far as the child is   
concerned1 and if it can stand rough    
handling1 so much the better4 ,for the  
little boy or girl an animal that can   
stand up or be drawn about by a string  
is quite satisfactory2 but before the   
age of three years is reached the animal
 must have movable parts1 so that it may
 be put into various positions1 be made 
to do things4  ,at about three years of 
age the child also comes more and more  
to see things in relation to each other 
and no longer as isolated objects4 ,at  
this time1 if he has a cow1 he wants    

also a stable in which to keep her1 the 
doll calls for a carriage and bed1 and  
so on4 ,this is something to keep in    
mind in planning our purchases4         
,children like to reproduce in their    
plays the processes which they see going
 on around them or about which they     
hear4 ,this is in a way their           
preparation for the activities of adult 
life4 ,if the little boy or girl wants  
to play farm1 or menagerie1 or laundry1 
or grocery store1 it is not necessary to
 buy the whole outfit at once4 ,the     
child will probably not be ready for it1
 and if he gets more than he can        
comfortably use1 he will be overwhelmed 
and many objects are likely to be       
neglected4  ,let us say1 for instance1  
that your little boy has received a     
milk-cart and horse for his birthday and
 he has exhausted the possibilities of  
play with them4 ,now here is ,christmas1
 and you can give him or make him a     
nice1 substantial barn and someone else 
can give him a cow4 ,immediately the    

possibilities for play are greatly      
multiplied4 ,he can take the cow to     
pasture1 bring her into the barn to be  
milked1 take the milk to market and     
store away hay for the winter1 and so on
 indefinitely4 ,in time he can have a   
well-equipped barnyard1 build pig-sties 
and chicken-coops with his blocks1 and  
spend many happy and instructive hours4 
,a great advantage in having toys       
grouped about some central idea is that 
several children can play at the same   
time and each particular toy stays in   
use much longer than it would otherwise4
  ,i have spoken of your little boy as  
the manager of the toy farm1 but in     
these days1 when women are entering     
every profession1 there is no reason to 
suppose that it is not your little girl 
who will need those things4 ,still1     
although we know that1 in spite of      
traditions1 little boys like to play    
with dolls and little girls like to play
 with other things1 we shall1 for the   
sake of convenience1 stick to the       

traditions and discuss the little girl  
in connection with dolls4  ,there is    
nothing that will give your little      
daughter greater pleasure and at the    
same time be more instructive than an   
opportunity to run a whole doll house4  
,by this ,i do not mean the elaborate   
constructions that are sold in the large
 shops under that name4 ,no1 a packing  
case1 painted and divided into four     
parts1 will serve the purpose far       
better4 ,gradually the different rooms  
can be furnished1 and in the meantime   
there is plenty of fun and much         
development in trying to maintain the   
family of dolls under pioneer           
conditions1 calling for all sorts of    
clever makeshifts4  ,there are          
numberless things that will go to make  
up the little girl's doll house1 and her
 activities can be extended over the    
entire period during which she cares to 
play with dolls4 ,at first she will be  
satisfied with handling her baby and    
putting her to sleep4 ,later she will   

want to dress and undress it4 ,before   
long she will have a whole family of    
dolls and will want to prepare their    
meals for them1 sew and wash their      
clothes1 and keep the house in order4   
,these growing needs on her part are    
just as real as the needs adults feel1  
and it would be just as unwise to get   
her a new doll1 when she needs most of  
all a wash-boiler for her kitchen1 as it
 would be to buy for yourself a picture1
 when you really need a pair of new     
spectacles4  ,all the different articles
 needed for the running of the doll's   
house can now be bought separately4 ,in 
buying the different articles1 the      
things to keep in mind are usability1   
simplicity1 and durability4 ,the        
furniture that you buy or make must be  
able to serve the ostensible purpose of 
doll's furniture4 ,it is better to get  
one chair that is of the right size for 
the doll1 well proportioned and strong  
enough to stand the handling of the     
owner1 than a whole set of pretty and   

flimsy and useless furniture that you   
can buy in a gay box for the same price4
  ,of course1 it is understood that the 
principles of usability1 simplicity1 and
 durability apply to the dolls          
themselves4 ,it is now easy to obtain   
dolls with indestructible heads and with
 jointed bodies made of durable         
material4 ,the little baby will love the
 doll with a felt head4 ,it can stand   
being loved hard without losing some of 
its features4 ,to give a little girl a  
doll that is so finely dressed and so   
daintily constructed that she is        
permitted to come out of her box only on
 state occasions is a violation of every
 sound principle of child training and  
fair dealing4  ,i have mentioned1 as    
examples of the kind of toys that can be
 bought singly and grouped about some   
central idea1 the farm and the doll's   
house1 but1 of course1 there are many   
other things--railroads with their      
equipment1 dairies1 stores of all kinds1
 etc4  ,besides the toys that are       

related to various lines of activity1   
each child1 as soon as he is old enough1
 wants the opportunity to work with     
materials and tools4 ,the youngest      
children can have beads to string1      
mosaic blocks with which patterns can be
 made1 etc4 ,for the older children you 
can get materials for sewing1 painting1 
parquetry work1 and the like4 ,there are
 boxes containing wooden and iron       
construction strips out of which        
bridges1 houses1 airships1 and all sorts
 of exciting things can be made4  ,for  
the growing boy nothing is more         
appropriate than some carpentry tools of
 his own4 ,here again we must remember  
that it is better to buy a few good     
tools and gradually build up an         
equipment than to buy a set that looks  
well enough in the store1 but goes to   
pieces under real usage4  ,a            
printing-press or well-constructed toy  
typewriter1 a camera or scroll saw1 will
 afford hours of helpful amusement and  
instruction4  ,musical instruments are  

always acceptable4 ,the metalophone is  
one of the simplest from which you can  
get real music4 ,the cheapest is just as
 usable as the more expensive1 although1
 of course1 it does not have so wide a  
range of notes4  ,it is impossible to   
enumerate all the indoor group games    
that are offered1 but in selecting a    
game you must make sure that it really  
has some sense in it1 and that it does  
not stimulate the gambling spirit1 as do
 so many of the games with dice or a    
spinning wheel as a part of the         
equipment4  ,all toys that encourage    
healthy outdoor sports are worth while4 
,a great deal of the progress in        
toy-making has been along mechanical    
lines1 until we are confronted with the 
most intricate mechanical contrivances4 
,they are interesting at an exhibition1 
and most likely the child will be       
attracted by them and will want them1   
but only to look at and own4 ,he will   
tire of them much more quickly than he  
would of the simple1 usable toy4 ,in    

this respect the children of the rich   
are to be pitied4 ,they are overloaded  
with these expensive1 mechanical toys   
which overstimulate them at first and   
later bore them4 ,the educative value of
 simple games with sticks and stones1 or
 anything the child may happen to pick  
up1 is far greater and calls for more   
exercise of imagination and ingenuity   
and the other qualities we desire to    
foster than is that of the elaborate    
mechanical toys4  ,it would be very     
desirable if all the skill and          
enterprise that is devoted to the       
development of the toy industry were    
applied to making toys simpler1 more    
durable1 and cheaper1 instead of making 
them more elaborate1 more realistic1 and
 more flimsy4 ,however1 the desirable   
kinds of toys will not be manufactured  
in larger quantities until an           
enlightened parenthood both demands them
 and refuses to buy the glittering      
heart-breakers that look so charming in 
the shop1 but go to pieces in the       

child's hands4  ,it is far better to    
have fewer and better toys than more of 
an inferior quality4 ,the thing to keep 
in mind is that a toy is neither an     
artistic model1 an aesthetic ornament1  
nor a mechanical spectacle1 but should  
be a stimulus to call forth             
self-activity1 invention1 ingenuity1    
imagination1 and skill4     ,x4         
,,children',s ,,gangs1 ,,clubs1 ,,and   
,,friendships   ,what a plague boys are6
 sighed ,mrs4 ,brown4 ,that ,white boy  
has been getting our ,harry into all    
sorts of mischief1 and ,i can't make    
,harry give up that gang4  ,mrs4 ,green 
agreed that boys were a plague4 ,her    
,jack went with a lot of boys1 too1 and 
they were always up to some sort of     
tricks which she was quite sure her boy 
would never do if it were not for those 
other boys4 ,and ,mrs4 ,green was right4
 ,any boy will do things when he is with
 the gang that he never would think of  
doing alone-- and that he wouldn't dare 
to do alone1 if he did think of them4   

,even your boy--and mine1 too1 ,i hope4 
,that's the way of boys4  ,what we      
mothers will have to do is to stop      
fretting about the other boys in the    
gang who spoil our boys1 and about the  
mischief and noise and dirty boots and  
staying away late for meals1 and get    
down to a practical way of making all   
the boys in the gang as we find them    
into a lot of decent young men4 ,we     
shall have to stop trying to make boys  
do what it is impossible for them to do2
 and we shall have to stop trying to    
keep the boys from doing what it is     
absolutely necessary that they should   
do1 if they are to develop into the     
decent young men we have in mind4  ,the 
modern way1 the efficient way1 of       
treating children is to find out their  
instincts and then use these almost     
irresistible forces of nature as a means
 of directing their development4 ,and   
that is what we shall have to do with   
the boy and his gang1 and that is what  
we shall have to do with the girl and   

her set4 ,the boy is a more serious     
problem because1 under the promptings of
 his instincts1 he soon becomes         
indifferent to the attractions and      
amusements of the home and seeks the    
companionship of boys of his own age1   
and he seeks activities that cannot1 for
 the most part1 be carried on in the    
home4 ,the girl1 on the other hand1     
remains much longer subject to the will 
of her mother and to the conventions and
 standards of the home2 she remains for 
a longer period satisfied with the kinds
 of activities that can be carried on at
 home4  ,we have been told over and over
 again that the instincts of childhood  
are all for activity1 and a few of us   
have trained ourselves not to expect the
 children to be still all the time4 ,of 
course1 there are times when we simply  
must have them be still1 and1 of course1
 we allow the teachers to insist upon   
the children being still in school4 ,but
 we recognize that they must play and   
romp and run and shout1 and we are      

willing even to spend public funds for  
playgrounds4 ,this shows that we can    
learn1 and that we can make use of our  
knowledge4 ,it is necessary only that we
 extend our knowledge of the instincts  
of our children just as fast as we can  
make use of more4  ,up to the age of    
about ten1 boys are apparently satisfied
 to play games by themselves1 or to play
 with others in ways that let each look 
out pretty much for himself4 ,at this   
age1 however1 a change begins to appear4
 ,now the boy tends to associate himself
 with others of the same age1 and before
 you know it your son belongs to some   
gang4 ,every street in a town and every 
corner in a city has its gang4 ,and if  
your boy has red blood and hard grit in 
him1 he is a member of one of these     
gangs4 ,he can't help it4 ,he does not  
join because it is the fashion1 or      
because he is afraid to keep out1 or    
because he has social ambitions4 ,he    
joins because it is his instinct to join
 with others in carrying on the         

activities to which other instincts     
drive him4 ,if you stand in the way of  
the gang1 you are fighting against one  
of the strongest forces in human nature4
  ,now if you feel the way ,mrs4 ,brown 
and ,mrs4 ,green felt about the gangs1  
,i do not blame you4 ,but you must not  
stop there4 ,let's try to find out first
 what the gang means to the boys and    
what it means to the race4 ,when a boy  
joins a gang1 he does not discard his   
instinct for play or for running and    
shouting4 ,he simply takes on a new     
relation to the world about him4 ,as a  
member of the gang1 he still runs and   
plays and shouts2 but now he has become 
conscious of his place in the world1 and
 that place is with his fellow-members1 
surrounded by all sorts of enemies and  
dangers and obstacles to his well-being4
 ,in his gang he finds comfort and      
support for his struggle with the       
outside world4 ,here he finds           
opportunity for satisfying exchange of  
thought2 here he finds sympathy and     

understanding such as he can get nowhere
 else4  ,the gang1 without a written    
code in most cases1 without formal      
rules1 without very definite aims1 even1
 nevertheless has a moral scheme of its 
own that every boy understands and lives
 up to as earnestly and as devotedly as 
ever man followed the dictates of       
conscience4 ,the gang demands of the boy
 unfailing loyalty1 and--what is        
more--it usually gets it4 ,of how many  
other institutions or organizations can 
as much be said8 ,the gang demands fair 
play and fidelity among its members1 and
 it usually gets these4 ,the gang       
demands devotion and self-sacrifice of  
its members1 and the boy who cannot show
 these qualities becomes more           
effectually ostracized than any         
defaulting bank official or corrupt     
politician4 ,these fine virtues1        
then--loyalty1 honor1 devotion--are     
cultivated by the gang just at the time 
when the instincts for them are         
strongest1 and at a time when no other  

agency is prepared to do the work4  ,for
 you will realize1 when you once think  
of it1 how much we coddle the baby when 
he is cute1 how we shower him with toys 
far in excess of what he can use or     
enjoy1 how we fuss and fondle him1 and  
how much thought we give to every       
possible and impossible want2 and how1  
on the other hand1 we neglect the boy   
when he enters upon that most           
unattractive1 but very critical1 age in 
which he finds other boys more          
interesting than his sister and her     
dolls1 when he cares more for other boys
 than he does for his mother and her    
parlor1 when he thinks more of the      
fellers than he does of his teacher and 
her lessons4 ,just at this time1 when   
the boy is beginning to wonder vaguely  
and to long just as indefinitely1 we    
abandon him to his own resources and to 
,mrs4 ,white's ,bob1 the leader of the  
gang4  ,the problem that confronts us   
is3 ,how can we save and strengthen the 
fine qualities which this spontaneous   

association with other boys produces    
without encouraging the lawlessness and 
the destructiveness and the             
secretiveness of the gang8 ,first of    
all1 we mothers must recognize not only 
that the boy cannot be happy without his
 associates1 but also that the social   
virtues will never be developed in him  
at all if we keep him at home away from 
the others or restricted to one or two  
play-mates--which we may like to select 
for him4 ,then1 when this is perfectly  
clear to us1 we will take the next step1
 which will be to use all the resources 
of the homes and of the community to    
change the antisocial gang into a club4 
,the difference between a gang and a    
club is not a matter of clean clothes   
and nice manners4 ,it is a difference in
 mental attitude4 ,the gang has rules   
and it has power4 ,the club has put its 
rules into form and it knows what it can
 do and what it wants to do4 ,in other  
words1 the gang is a casual1 random     
group that drifts about in the village  

or in the city1 subject to every passing
 influence1 whereas the club is a       
deliberate1 purposeful organization with
 definite aims and developments4 ,both  
meet the needs of the growing boy for   
association2 both give the social       
instincts and virtues suitable          
opportunity for exercise4  ,this problem
 of giving the boys a chance to get     
together and do what their instincts    
drive them to do is not one merely for  
the mothers who can provide for their   
boys little or no supervision1 and whose
 boys play in the streets and vacant    
lots4 ,the problem is just as great in  
the case of the well-to-do1 who provide 
constant supervision for their children4
 ,indeed1 it is a serious question      
whether the condition of the children of
 wealthier families is not in this      
respect more dangerous than that of the 
less wealthy4 ,with the boys of the     
street the problem is how to divert the 
activities into suitable channels2 with 
the closely-guarded boys of the wealthy 

the problem is how to develop the spirit
 of loyalty and self-sacrifice and      
honor1 which have been suppressed by the
 restricted and artificial associations 
of the solicitous home4 ,both kinds of  
boys must be left free to form their own
 associations1 but the groups must be so
 directed in their club activities      
7without1 however1 suspecting that they 
are being directed7 as to connect their 
interests with lawful amusements1 civic 
needs1 and social relations4 ,the great 
danger is that when adults take a hand  
in these matters they fix their         
attention upon the civic and moral      
virtues and overlook the instincts of   
activity and sociability which call the 
gang into being1 and the club           
degenerates into a preachy ,sunday-     
school class4  ,illustration3 ,the boys 
need a chance to get together4  ,in     
organizing clubs1 or rather in          
presenting opportunities for the        
organization of clubs1 we must recognize
 that bodily activity1 taking the form  

of athletics1 or of workshop effort1 or 
of camping1 hunting1 etc41 is a         
fundamental condition of healthy growth 
for the boys and girls4 ,as every group 
must have its meeting place1 this should
 be first provided1 and it should be of 
a nature that allows gymnastics and     
hammering and boxing to go on without   
any restrictions beyond those required  
by the nature of the little animals4    
,that is1 there is need for sleep and   
rest and meals--and perhaps certain     
definite hours for school and           
church--but beyond such disagreeable    
though necessary interruptions the      
meeting place of the club should be a   
busy place at all decent hours4 ,we are 
tempted to force literature and debating
 upon our clubs2 these things usually   
come later1 and appeal at best to but   
relatively few boys4 ,literature and    
debating are good1 but they can never   
take the place of parallel bars and     
boxing gloves and hammer and saw4  ,we  
are also tempted to pick out the boys   

for the clubs that we are interested in4
 ,this is a serious mistake4 ,it is this
 sort of thing that causes the failure  
of so many well-meaning attempts to     
redeem the children of the slums or of  
the street4 ,we must let the groups form
 spontaneously2 the boys' instincts are 
keener in detecting the sneak and the   
coward and the traitor than yours are1  
and if the club has the right start1 the
 undesirable citizen will either adopt  
the morals of the club or be squeezed   
out4 ,and the right start is chiefly a  
good meeting place4 ,it is here that the
 church and the school and the home can 
cooperate4 ,in the larger cities the    
settlement has pointed the way by       
carrying on practically all of the work 
with children through the medium of     
clubs4  ,it is not necessary for every  
parent to furnish a suitable meeting    
place2 indeed1 each club needs only one 
meeting place4 ,but every home can      
contribute something4 ,if you have not  
the suitable garret or barn or shed1 you

 can supply the baseball outfit1 or the 
,indian clubs1 or the work-bench1 or    
some of the tools4 ,you can lend your   
homes for those not very frequent       
occasions when the boys are quite       
satisfied to have a quiet evening of    
table games or theatricals1 or imitation
 camp-fire with chestnuts to roast and  
songs to sing4 ,you can make up         
lunch-baskets for fishing or tramping   
trips1 or you can sew tapes on the old  
pants for uniforms4  ,it does not matter
 so much what you do1 so long as you do 
as much as you can1 and1 above all1 if  
you show an interest4 ,the bond of      
sympathy and intimacy that comes from   
such an understanding and from the      
hearty cooperation of the home with     
these natural instincts of the children 
is an immense gain to the individual    
parent1 as well as to the individual    
child4 ,instead of friction and         
opposition of forces1 there results a   
cooperation of forces that all make for 
good4  ,as for the community1 the       

village or town that can provide meeting
 places for all of its groups of young  
people1 under the direction of those who
 understand them and sympathize with    
them1 with suitable equipment for       
physical activities of all kinds1 can   
make no better investment of the money  
that such a venture would cost4 ,for it 
is in such association that the boys and
 girls learn to be members of a group1  
and eventually of the larger group that 
includes us all4 ,the good citizen is   
the one who has developed the instincts 
of loyalty and devotion and             
self-sacrifice and honor1 and has       
directed them toward the community4 ,the
 bad citizen is the one in whom these   
virtues were never developed1 or one in 
whom these traits remain in the gang    
stage4  ,in the attempts that have been 
made to direct the instincts of children
 we have given the boys much more       
attention than the girls1 for the simple
 reason that the boys have given us more
 trouble4 ,still1 the girls should not  

be neglected4 ,they are entitled to all 
the advantages that can be derived from 
organized opportunity to associate with 
one another and to develop the social   
virtues4 ,they should also have the     
opportunity for physical exercise and   
development which the boy gets because  
he makes violent demand for it1 but     
which the girl needs just as much4  ,it 
has been found unwise to have mixed     
clubs of boys and girls in the early    
years1 and even later1 when girls and   
boys could profitably associate         
together1 they like to have their       
separate groups for special activities4 
,for the strictly sociable times1       
however1 boys and girls may be brought  
together at any age4  ,apart from the   
other advantages to be gained from the  
club1 the girl or boy will be saved from
 his friends4 ,there is a real danger   
that children who do not get into larger
 groups will take up with a single chum 
or intimate4 ,while it is true that many
 lasting and valued friendships start in

 these early years1 the danger is       
nevertheless a serious one4 ,chums or   
intimates1 in their tendency to get away
 from other people1 may do nothing worse
 than carry on silly conversations2 but 
they may also read pernicious literature
 and develop bad habits4 ,activities in 
a group are more open and less likely to
 be of a secret nature4  ,intimacies at 
this early age will spring up for all   
kinds of superficial reasons4 ,in a     
study made some years ago these were    
some of the reasons given for the       
formation of friendships3 ,we were      
cousins1 ,he taught me to swim1 ,we had 
the same birthday1 ,she had a red apron1
 ,her brown eyes and hair1 ,neither of  
us had a sister4 ,a large proportion of 
the children who were questioned gave as
 the only reason for their intimate     
friendship the fact that they live near 
each other4 ,however absurd these       
reasons may appear to us1 we are        
compelled by what we know of the child's
 mind to respect these attachments4 ,but

 if there is any danger in the          
intimacy--and there often is--the only  
remedy is encouragement of association  
in a large group4 ,there is safety in   
numbers4  ,so1 whether we are more      
concerned with the mischief done by the 
gang1 or with the danger of intimate    
chums1 whether we care more for the     
development of good citizenship in boys 
and girls1 or merely to make the        
children happy while they are growing   
up1 it is necessary for parents to use  
all the means at their disposal to      
organize and encourage the social       
activities of the young people to the   
fullest extent4     ,,xi4  ,,children',s
 ,,ideals ,,and ,,ambitions   ,when you 
take pains to instruct your children in 
the way they should go1 it is because   
you have in mind certain standards of   
what a child should do1 or of what kind 
of an adult you wish your child to      
become4 ,in other words1 you look to    
your ideals to guide you in the training
 of the child4 ,we all appreciate more  

or less vaguely the importance of ideals
 in shaping character1 and for this     
reason we value ideals1 although it is  
considered smart for adults to sneer at 
ideals and idealism--which are supposed 
somehow to be opposed to the practical  
affairs of life4 ,but in a way there is 
nothing more truly practical than a     
worthy ideal4  ,where there is no vision
 the people perish2 and that is just as 
true of the individual as it is of a    
nation4 ,moreover1 it is the youth who  
shall see the visions and draw from them
 the inspiration for higher and better  
things4 ,fortunately1 every normal child
 develops ideals4 ,it is for more       
experienced people to provide the       
opportunities for the formation of      
desirable ideals1 to guide the ideals   
after they are formed into practicable  
channels1 to use the ideals to reinforce
 the will in carrying out our practical 
purposes in the training of the child4  
,you no doubt find it easy enough to    
recognize and to encourage ideals that  

are in harmony with your own1 or that   
seem to you worthy and likely to have a 
favorable influence upon your child's   
career or character4 ,when five-year-old
 ,freddy says that he wants to become a 
lawyer or a doctor1 you encourage him4  
,you say1 ,that's fine1 my boy1 and in  
your mind's eye you see him climbing to 
fame and fortune4 ,but when ,freddy says
 that he wants to be a policeman and    
marry the candy-lady1 you laugh at him1 
and you certainly do not encourage him4 
,but in ,freddy's mind doctor and lawyer
 mean no more than policeman2 they      
involve no more important social        
service1 they mean no more dignity in   
personal position1 they suggest nothing 
more of anything that is worth while4   
,for whatever it is that ,freddy wants  
to be at any moment is to him the sum of
 all that is to him worth while--and    
that is just what an ideal ought to be4 
,this is not a plea to cruel parents in 
behalf of smoothing ,freddy's path      
toward the coveted post--or the course  

of his courtship of the candy-lady's    
daughter4 ,it is simply an effort to    
point out how important it is to avoid  
shattering early in life that precious  
mirror in which alone visions are to be 
seen4 ,when you have ridiculed the      
policeman out of further consideration1 
you are likely with the same act to have
 weakened ,freddy's faith in ideals--and
 to this extent you have loosened one of
 the safest props of his character4 ,we 
need not be afraid of the crude and     
short-sighted ideals of the young child4
 ,with the growth of his experience his 
ideals will expand4 ,we should fear     
rather to infect him with the vulgar    
disrespect for all ideals4  ,in a few   
years ,freddy has his heart set on      
charting the blank spaces on his        
geography map1 and he has never a       
thought for the girls4 ,it is the same  
,freddy1 but he has in the meanwhile    
roamed far from the home                
neighborhood--in imagination--and has   
discovered new heroes and new types of  

heroism4 ,the policeman and the         
candy-lady are still at their old posts1
 but ,freddy ignores them because his   
ideals have grown with his experience   
and his information1 as well as with his
 bodily growth and development4  ,study 
of thousands of children in all parts of
 this country1 in ,england and in       
,germany1 has shown that the young      
people begin to form ideal images of    
what they consider desirable1 or        
beautiful1 or right rather early in     
life4 ,they form ideals of virtue as    
well as ideals of happiness1 and these  
ideals reflect their experiences and    
their surroundings to a remarkable      
degree4 ,thus1 there are differences    
between the ideals formed by country    
children and those formed by city       
children1 between the ideals of poor    
children and those of wealthy ones1     
between the ideals of ,english children 
and those of ,american or ,german       
children4 ,but1 aside from all these    
differences1 it is found that the ideals

 vary with the sex of the child1 and    
also with the age1 so that each child   
passes through a series of stages marked
 by characteristic types of ideals4  ,as
 early as the age of nine years children
 have expressed themselves as looking   
forward to doing good in the world1 or  
to making themselves good4 ,the age at  
which this impulse to service or to     
personal perfection may take form must  
depend upon many things besides the     
peculiar characteristics of the         
individual child4 ,jessie's ideals      
concerning being good will be shaped by 
what she hears and sees about her4 ,if  
you speak frequently about the foreign  
missions1 she may think of being good as
 something that has to do with the      
heathen4 ,if the family conversation    
takes into consideration the sick and   
the needy1 ,jessie's ideal may be       
dressed like a ,red ,cross nurse4 ,if   
you never speak of the larger problems  
of community welfare1 or of social      
needs1 or of moral advance in the home1 

where ,robert has a chance to hear you1 
he can get suggestions toward such      
ideals only after he has read enough to 
become acquainted with these problems   
and the corresponding lines of service  
for himself4  ,answers received from    
hundreds of girls and boys would seem to
 show that virtue and goodness are      
desirable to children at a certain stage
 of their development chiefly1 if not   
solely1 because they bring material or  
social benefits4 ,virtue is rewarded not
 by any internal or spiritual           
satisfaction1 but by freer access to the
 candy supply or to the skating pond4   
,the right is that which is allowable1  
or that which may be practiced with     
impunity4 ,the wrong is that which is   
forbidden or punishable4 ,of course1    
this attitude toward moral values should
 not continue through life4 ,we should  
do what we can to establish higher      
ideals of right and wrong4 ,how soon    
this change will come must depend very  
largely on where the emphasis is laid by

 those around the child4 ,if1 when you  
give ,robert a piece of candy1 you      
always impress him with the idea that   
this is his compensation for having been
 good1 he will retain this association  
between virtue and material reward long 
past the age when he can already        
appreciate the satisfaction that comes  
from exercising his instinct to be      
helpful1 or from doing what he thinks is
 right4 ,if1 however1 the idea in the   
home is that all goes well and all feel 
cheerful and happy because every one is 
trying to do the right thing1 the       
various indulgences and liberties will  
mean to the child merely the material   
manifestations of the good feeling that 
prevails1 and not rewards of virtue4 ,so
 far as possible1 rewards and           
punishments should be directed toward   
the deed and not the child4 ,the aim    
should be to make the child derive his  
highest satisfaction from carrying out  
his own ideals of conduct1 rather than  
from the reward for that conduct4 ,the  

approbation of those he honors and loves
 should gradually replace the material  
reward4  ,to the child the ideal of     
success may mean two entirely different 
things4 ,at one stage it may mean the   
satisfaction of accomplishing a set     
task1 whether selected by himself or    
imposed by some one else4 ,later1 it    
comes to mean excelling some other child
 in a contest4 ,even a child of four or 
five years gets a great deal of         
satisfaction from contemplating a house 
he has built out of his blocks1 or the  
row of mud pies4 ,this satisfaction     
gradually comes to be something quite   
distinct from the pleasure of doing1 and
 is an important element in the ideal of
 workmanship4 ,as the child grows older 
the ideal of successful accomplishment  
grows stronger1 and1 if it is retained  
throughout life1 it contributes a large 
share toward the individual's happiness4
  ,most of the school activities of our 
children lay too much emphasis upon the 
ideal of successful rivalry1 and too    

little upon the ideal of high           
achievement4 ,the ideal set before the  
children is not frequently enough that  
of doing the best that is in them1 and  
too frequently that of doing merely     
better than the neighbor--which may be  
poor enough4 ,some of the work done with
 children in clubs1 outside of schools1 
has brought out the instinct for an     
ideal of achievement in a very good way4
 ,richard came home quite breathless    
when he was able to report that he could
 start a fire on a windy day1 using but 
a single match6 ,in some of the more    
modern organizations1 for girls as well 
as for boys1 graded tasks are assigned  
as tests of individual proficiency or   
prowess4 ,every girl and every boy must 
pass these standards1 without regard to 
what the others do4 ,the result of      
encouraging this ideal is likely to be  
an increased sense of responsibility1   
well as an increased self-respect2      
whereas the ideal of beating others may 
in many cases keep the girl or boy at a 

rather low level of achievement1        
compared to the child's own capacity4   
,this competitive ideal is illustrated  
by the girl who is ambitious to stand at
 the head of her class1 and receives    
encouragement enough4 ,but we give very 
little thought to the child whose ideals
 are for service to others or to the    
community4 ,it is very often the same   
child that at one time glories in       
successful emulation under the          
encouragement of our approval1 and that 
later fails to develop the germs of     
altruistic ideals because we fail to    
recognize1 or at least to encourage1    
them4 ,we cannot expect from the schools
 an early change of emphasis from the   
competitive type of ambition to the     
ideal of cooperation or service1        
although the teachers who have tried to 
encourage the latter have found the     
school work to proceed more             
satisfactorily than it does under the   
spirit of emulation4 ,but in the home it
 should be much easier to encourage     

these higher types of ideals1 for we do 
not have to set one child against the   
other1 and there is greater opportunity 
for individual service on account of the
 greater differences in the ages and    
attainments of the children4  ,it is    
interesting and significant that1 of the
 thousands of children who have given   
expression to their ideals and          
ambitions1 a very small number--less    
than one in every hundred--have appeared
 to be quite content with themselves and
 with their surroundings4 ,the normal   
child craves for some thing better1 and 
roams as far afield as his knowledge and
 opportunities let him in his search for
 the best4 ,it is during the years from 
the tenth to the fifteenth or sixteenth 
that this search is keenest1 and during 
this period we should present to the    
children every opportunity for becoming 
acquainted with what has been considered
 best in the history of the race4 ,the  
reading that the boy or girl does at    
this time is perhaps the most important 

source of ideals4  ,the selection of    
suitable books for the young is in      
itself an important problem1 and one    
that many of us are apt to neglect4 ,it 
is impossible to judge of the           
desirability or suitableness of a book  
from its appearance1 or from its price1 
or from the standing of its publishers1 
or even from the repute of the author4  
,many attractive-looking books are not  
only worthless1 but positively          
objectionable4 ,if it is not possible   
for you to examine carefully each book  
that you consider buying1 you should    
make use of an annotated list1 or seek  
competent counsel in some other form4   
,through libraries and various          
associations it is now possible to      
obtain carefully prepared lists that    
will be helpful in selecting books for  
children of all ages4  ,an interesting  
point that has been brought out by      
studies is the fact that degrading      
ideals are practically wanting in       
children4 ,you were no doubt shocked to 

discover that ,eddy was planning to     
become a burglar1 or a pirate chief1 or 
a tramp1 or an ordinary highwayman4 ,but
 a careful analysis of the motives and  
experiences of the boy will show that   
the particular feature that ,eddy       
admires in his hero is far removed from 
the ones that shock you4 ,the boy is    
dreaming of travel and adventure1 of the
 excitement of chasing or of being      
chased1 of trying his ingenuity in      
conflict with the professionally        
ingenious minions of the law1 of being  
brave in the face of danger1 of testing 
his fortitude in the time of trouble1 of
 the loyalty of his comrades to himself 
as leader1 or of his loyalty to his     
chief when the latter is beset by his   
enemies4 ,but courage and loyalty and   
fortitude and ingenuity are no more     
degrading ideals than are material      
possessions and intellectual            
accomplishments4 ,only it happens that  
many boys find these particular ideals  
embodied in heroes and personalities    

that we feel we must disapprove for     
various reasons4 ,robin ,hood appeals to
 the children not because he violated   
the laws of the land or because he      
deprived people of their property1 but  
because he was brave1 and clever1 and   
just1 and kind to the poor4  ,in        
comparing the ideals of children raised 
in the city with those of children      
raised in the country1 interesting      
differences appear4 ,the city children  
are in general less inclined to be      
altruistic than country children at the 
same age4 ,on the other hand1 city      
children draw upon a wider range of     
characters from history and from fiction
 for their ideals4 ,in the matter of    
future occupations1 city children were  
often satisfied to mention some         
preference from the various occupations 
of which they had heard1 without        
elaborating the details1 whereas the    
country children1 although they did not 
select from so wide a range1 frequently 
described special features of some      

occupation as the interesting elements  
leading to a choice4  ,from the various 
studies that have been made we may see  
that the kind of ideals that a child is 
likely to have depends a great deal upon
 the people with whom he becomes        
familiar1 upon the ideas with which he  
becomes familiar1 and upon the          
activities with which he becomes        
familiar4 ,the child should have an     
opportunity to discover the best that is
 available in his immediate environment4
 ,his earliest heroes should be his     
parents2 then the acquaintances near    
home should furnish the qualities that  
will arouse his interest and admiration4
 ,it is a mistake to thrust upon the    
child ideals ready made and imported for
 the purpose4 ,a hero thrust upon the   
young imagination may do service for a  
while1 but is likely to be discarded    
later when that particular hero's       
virtues really need to be kept before   
the child much more than they did in the
 earlier period4 ,george ,washington and

 his hatchet have furnished us a legend 
that is a good illustration of this4    
,the hero is dressed up to be attractive
 to children of nursery age1 and endowed
 with nursery virtues4 ,when the        
children grow up and so outgrow their   
nursery ideals1 they discard interest in
 and admiration for ,george ,washington3
 this is a serious loss to our national 
idealism4  ,the results of the studies  
also indicate how significant is        
suitable literature in the formation of 
ideals4 ,a comparison of returns from   
girls with those from boys throws an    
important side light on this problem4   
,in nearly every group of answers       
received it was evident that most girls1
 when they get to a certain age1 adopt  
ideals that are decidedly masculine4    
,the explanation of this seems to lie in
 the fact that the characters of history
 and of literature with whom they become
 most familiar are those showing        
distinctly masculine qualities4 ,there  
are real differences between the mind of

 a girl and the mind of a boy1 and these
 should be taken into consideration in  
their training4 ,there is great need for
 the clearer recognition and sharper    
definition of distinctly feminine       
ideals4 ,it is not enough to transfer   
some imitation masculine ideals to the  
minds of our girls4  ,we should make a  
special effort to discover our          
children's ideals1 for several reasons4 
,first of all1 by knowing what the girl 
or boy has nearest the heart we shall be
 able to enter into closer sympathy with
 the child1 we shall be able to         
understand much of the conduct that     
would otherwise baffle as well as annoy 
us4 ,in the second place1 by watching   
the rise of ideals we shall be better   
able to direct the child's playing and  
his reading and those other activities  
that are needed to supply the           
experiences and ideas that seem to be   
lacking1 or to discourage tendencies    
that seem to us undesirable4 ,in the    
third place1 if we know our children's  

ideals we can make use of these as      
motive forces in helping us to carry out
 our larger plans4 ,it is when the boy  
is in the military stage of his         
ambitions that we should try to make the
 virtues of the soldier habitual parts  
of his character4 ,it is when the girl  
is ambitious to make a fine garden that 
we should try to make her fix the habits
 of orderliness1 regularity1 and        
attention to details4 ,of course1 not   
every girl will want to have a garden1  
and many a boy never cares to be a      
soldier2 but at every stage there are   
ideals that can be called upon to fix   
the heart upon certain virtues until the
 latter become habits4  ,it is very easy
 to ridicule the ideals and ambitions of
 children when they seem to us too      
high-flown or futile4 ,but a person's   
ideals stand too close to the centre of 
his character to be treated so rudely4  
,it is better to ignore the many        
trifling flights of fancy that are not  
likely to have any permanent effect1 and

 to throw the child into circumstances  
that will force the emergence of more   
deep-seated or far-reaching ambitions4  
,there is another danger in the ease    
with which a child's faith in ideals is 
destroyed1 when these happen to         
interfere with our own immediate comfort
 and desires4 ,when a boy has gotten    
into some mischief with his friends1 and
 is the only one caught1 we are tempted 
to bring pressure to bear upon him to   
make him tell who the other culprits    
were4 ,joe is ready to take his own     
punishment1 and that of his fellow      
malefactors1 too1 rather than snitch4   
,but for some reason we feel that       
justice demands the conviction of every 
individual involved4 ,the conflict is   
not between our sense of justice and the
 boy's stubbornness or wilfulness2 it is
 rather a struggle between our demand   
for retribution and the boy's ideal of  
loyalty4 ,if1 through threats and       
cajolery or more indirect methods1 we at
 last succeed in finding out that it was

 ,mrs4 ,brown's ,bob who was responsible
 for the whole affair1 we have at last  
broken down ,joe's inclination to act   
according to certain ideal standards4   
,joe has fallen in his own estimation   
beyond calculation4 ,it is better to let
 ,bob go unpunished than to make ,joe go
 back on his principles4  ,one important
 outcome of a study of our children's   
ideals and ambitions should be the      
direction of their vocational choices4  
,we have read of ,benjamin ,franklin's  
father1 who took his boys about to      
various shops with a view to helping    
them make up their minds as to what kind
 of trade they should follow4 ,nowadays 
we should consider this method rather   
crude2 but for a variety of reasons most
 of us do not do even this much for our 
children4 ,a study of children's plans  
and hopes for their future work brings  
out the fact that the desire to earn    
money as a motive in the choice         
increases up to the age of twelve years1
 and then declines rapidly4 ,this may be

 taken to mean that1 apart from the     
enlarged range of interests that comes  
with increased experience1 there is also
 an efflorescence of the fancy that     
leads to increased concern with ideal   
ends4 ,this is confirmed by a comparison
 of the choice made by children of      
well-to-do families with those made by  
children of rather poor people4 ,the    
children of the poor1 in tragically     
large numbers1 appear to accept the fact
 of working as a necessity of life2 they
 accept this doggedly as a matter of    
course4 ,the children of more prosperous
 families1 on the other hand1 though    
frequently expressing preferences for   
the same kinds of occupations1 have     
their hearts set on the joy of          
achievement1 or on the ideal of service1
 or on the fun of doing1 in much larger 
proportions4  ,from answers written by  
,english children in a factory district 
these examples are typical3  ,a boy of  
eight3 ,i should like to be a           
,carpenter4 ,because my mother says ,i  

can be one4  ,a girl of twelve3 ,i      
should like to go out when ,i am older  
to earn my own living4  ,another girl of
 twelve3 ,i think it would be nice to go
 out to a situation4  ,in contrast with 
these are the answers given by children 
of the same ages who came from homes of 
culture1 if not always of wealth3  ,a   
boy of eight3 ,i would like to be like  
,major ---- because ,i like carpentering
 very much and he carpenters            
beautifully4 ,once he bought a box for  
his silver and there was one tray to it 
and he wanted to make little fittings   
for the silver so first he painted some 
names on some paper of all the different
 things he had2 then he cut them out and
 supposing he wanted to put knives and  
forks quickly he would have a little    
name written down where they ought to go
 and he made the fittings most          
beautifully quite as well as any shop   
would4  ,a girl of thirteen3 ,one thing 
,i should like to do would be to be a   
very clever naturalist1 and to know     

everything about everything alive or in 
the country world4  ,a girl of ten3 ,i  
should like to be a piano teacher1 when 
,i grow up1 for then ,i shall be able to
 learn to play many pieces of poetry4   
,a part of this difference is no doubt  
due to the fact that in many families   
there are traditional ideals of the     
obligations of privilege1 which the     
children readily imitate2 or to the fact
 that these children do not have to     
think about the necessity of earning a  
livelihood1 and so give their attention 
to the enjoyments that can be derived   
from various kinds of activity4  ,the   
subject of vocational guidance1 which   
has come into great prominence during   
the past few years1 includes so many    
ideas that are confusing and misleading 
that large numbers of people have become
 alarmed and are fighting the movement4 
,in the first place1 the title itself is
 misleading4 ,most people do not enter  
upon callings in the true sense of that 
word2 they get into some kind of        

occupation or business1 but could just  
as readily have adjusted themselves to  
any one of a thousand other occupations4
 ,then the matter of guidance is        
misleading4 ,it is impossible for anyone
 to-day to undertake to guide young     
people into their occupations4 ,all that
 can be hoped for is that children may  
be given an opportunity to find out     
about the different types of work that  
need to be done1 and about the different
 human qualities that are of value in   
the various occupations4  ,the question 
that concerns the parent is3 ,what      
special inclinations has the child that 
can be utilized in a future occupation8 
,it is not so much a question of making 
full use of your child's talents as it  
is of giving him an opportunity to do   
the kind of work in which he will be    
most happy4 ,society at large is        
interested in conserving all the        
different kinds of ability1 but the     
individual child is concerned with      
realizing his own ideals1 with living1  

so far as possible1 his own life4 ,at   
the same time1 the evidence which we    
have on the subject--not very much1 to  
be sure--shows that there is really a   
close connection between what a child   
likes to do and what he can do well4 ,it
 is1 of course1 true that one can learn 
to do well what at first comes hard1 and
 then learn to like it4 ,but we must not
 forget that strong inclinations must be
 carefully considered when future work  
is being decided upon4  ,our children   
are so imitative that a child with      
marked talents will occasionally not    
reveal these in surroundings that lay   
emphasis on qualities unrelated to these
 talents4 ,so many a boy with high-grade
 musical ability will fail to show this 
where music is looked down upon as      
something unworthy of a man4 ,in the    
same way children will develop ideals in
 imitation of what goes on around them4 
,every child is likely at some time in  
his career to look forward to           
money-making as the most desirable end  

in life2 but most normal children will  
pass beyond this ideal before           
adolescence4 ,if1 however1 the          
atmosphere in which the child lives is  
one of money-getting1 the child without 
strong tendencies toward other ideals is
 likely to allow this ideal to persist  
into adolescence and young manhood or   
womanhood4 ,in such cases the ideal     
becomes fixed without indicating that   
the individual is by nature of an       
avaricious temperament or               
materialistically inclined4  ,the same  
principle of imitativeness would1 of    
course1 apply to other ideals4 ,this    
explains to us why the recurrence of    
certain ideals or modes of life in      
successive generations of a family leads
 to the supposition that there are      
hereditary elements at work4 ,it is also
 a good reason why we should guard      
against the contaminating influence of  
unworthy ideals4 ,it is impossible for  
us to carry about imitation virtues and 
fool our children into imitating them4  

,children begin to form their ideals    
early in life1 and their first standards
 are derived from the people and the    
things about them that contribute to    
their pleasures--sweets and parents and 
the heroes of the fairy tales4  ,as the 
child's experience broadens he borrows  
ideals from new acquaintances and the   
characters he meets in his reading4     
,the child absorbs from his             
surroundings1 from his acquaintances1   
and from his reading1 as well as from   
the instruction that he receives in     
school or in church1 materials for      
building a world of what ought to be4   
,and in this world he himself plays a   
very important rle4 ,we must therefore  
make sure that the materials for ideals 
which are within our control shall be of
 the best4  ,loose conversation1        
cynicism1 open disrespect for the noble 
things in human character1 lack of faith
 in human nature cannot be exhibited to 
the child day after day without having  
their sinister effect4 ,it is true that 

some children1 here and there1 will     
resist these unfavorable influences1 and
 will come out of the struggle strong   
and self-reliant1 with faith in their   
own ideals and with faith in mankind4   
,but we cannot afford to treat the      
developing character of the child on the
 theory that it needs exercise and      
temptation as a gymnast needs exercise  
and trying tasks4 ,the temptation that  
becomes a habitual stimulus to wrong    
doing or wrong thinking has no moral    
value4 ,the child is only too ready to  
follow the path of least resistance1 and
 the temptations will come aplenty after
 the ideals begin to form4  ,high ideals
 in the home1 and not merely good words2
 loyalty to ideals and a spirit of      
confidence in the children1 are needed  
to give the children that confidence in 
themselves which they need to make them 
loyal to their own ideals when these are
 out of harmony with vulgar fashion4    
,,xii4  ,,the ,,stork ,,or ,,the ,,truth
   ,mother1 where do babies come from8  

,some day you will be asked this        
question by your little girl or your    
little boy--if you have not already been
 asked4 ,what will your answer be8      
,even if you have been accustomed to    
giving frank answers to your children's 
questions about all sorts of subjects1  
you are likely to hesitate when it comes
 to this4 ,you will be tempted to say   
what you were probably told yourself1   
under similar circumstances4 ,you will  
perhaps say that the doctor brings      
babies in his satchel1 or that the stork
 brings babies in his bill4 ,or perhaps 
you will feel impelled to tell ,harry to
 go out and play1 and ask you again a   
few years later when he will be old     
enough to understand4  ,the telling of a
 myth like the stork story is harmless  
enough for the time being4 ,we have     
entertained ,santa ,claus for ages      
without undermining the morals of our   
children4 ,and we shall continue to     
retell the fairy stories1 for1 although 
they are not1 strictly speaking1 true   

stories1 they have their place in the   
life of the child4 ,why can we not go   
on1 then1 as we have done in the past1  
leaning upon the stork8  ,the difference
 between the story of where babies come 
from and the story of ,santa ,claus or  
,mother ,hubbard is a very important    
one4 ,santa ,claus and ,mother ,hubbard 
represent ideas and interests that are  
but passing phases in the child's       
development1 whereas knowledge about    
reproduction is something that grows in 
interest with the years and reaches its 
deepest significance just at the time   
when you can hardly1 if at all1 regain  
your hold upon your child1 once you have
 lost it4 ,it does not matter much who  
disillusions your child about ,santa    
,claus4 ,the disappointment is brief1   
and soon the child can look upon the    
legend as a joke4 ,but it does matter   
very much who tells your child that the 
stork story is all a lie1 and how he is 
told4  ,it is well for mothers to       
realize that the embarrassment which    

they may feel when this question is     
first asked is quite foreign to the     
child1 for the child at this time has no
 knowledge whatever of sex4 ,to him it  
is simply a question for satisfying his 
momentary curiosity4 ,later on1 when the
 child has become aware of the idea of  
sex1 he is not likely to ask his mother 
embarrassing questions1 or1 if he should
 ask them1 the situation would be       
equally embarrassing to both--unless you
 have in the meanwhile kept in close    
sympathy with your children1 and they   
feel that they can come to you with any 
question and be answered frankly4 ,and  
the way to keep them in close sympathy  
is by meeting frankly every question as 
it arises4 ,it is not necessary to      
answer every question by telling        
everything you know2 it is necessary    
merely to tell enough to satisfy the    
child's immediate need4 ,not only1 then1
 does your frank answer tend to keep the
 child in touch with the mother1 but you
 protect him in this manner against     

going for his information to sources    
that are frequently contaminating4 ,the 
information that boys and girls give one
 another about sex matters is often     
something appalling1 not only in its    
distance from the truth1 but in the     
amount of filth with which it is        
encrusted4 ,it is the desire to keep his
 mind clean1 then1 that should prompt   
the mother to tell her child what he    
wants to know when he wants to know it4 
,a third consideration is found in the  
fact that many children1 when they do   
not receive satisfactory answers to     
their queries1 will reflect and brood   
about the subject to a degree that      
becomes morbid4 ,this is especially     
likely to happen where the subject of   
the child's inquiry is treated as though
 it were an improper or a wicked one to 
speak about1 so that the child dares not
 ask others for enlightenment4  ,that   
the early answering of the child's      
questions may offset both morbid        
curiosity and the danger of resorting to

 filthy sources of information is       
illustrated by the story of a           
seven-year-old boy who was invited by an
 older boy to come to the wood-shed for 
the purpose of being told an important  
secret4 ,if you promise not to tell any 
one1 the older boy began1 ,i will tell  
you where babies come from4 ,why1 ,i    
know where babies come from1 replied the
 second1 not greatly interested4 ,oh1   
yes you do6 ,i suppose you think that a 
stork brings them8 ,well1 you're 'way   
off there4 ,the stork ain't got nothing 
to do with it1 the instructor continued 
breathlessly1 for fear of being deprived
 of his opportunity to impart his       
precious secret4 ,at last the secret was
 out2 but the younger replied1 coolly1  
,that's nothing4 ,my mother told me that
 when ,i was four years old4 ,since the 
matter had ceased to be a secret1 and   
since the story even lacked novelty1 all
 opportunity for the elaboration of     
details was destroyed4  ,but what can   
you tell to a child of four or five8    

,for that is the age at which the       
question is likely first to present     
itself4 ,remember that the child is not 
asking a sex question1 but one about the
 direct source of himself1 or about some
 particular baby that he has seen4 ,you 
can say that the baby grew from a tiny  
egg1 which is in a little chamber that  
grows as the baby grows1 until the baby 
is big enough to come out4 ,this will   
satisfy most children for a considerable
 time1 but some children will           
immediately ask1 ,where is that little  
room8 ,to which you may reply1 ,the     
growing baby must be kept in the most   
protected place possible1 so it is kept 
under the mother's heart4 ,or1 you may  
say that the baby grew from a seed      
implanted in the mother's body1 that it 
was nourished by her blood until it grew
 large enough1 when it came out at the  
cost of much suffering4 ,of course1 you 
will tell the story as personally as you
 can1 about your particular child1 and  
in as simple a way as you can4  ,if you 

tell the little girl or boy this much   
you have told him all that he probably  
cares to know at this time2 you have    
told the truth so that you have nothing 
to fear about his being disillusioned   
either as to the story or as to your own
 trustworthiness2 and you have avoided  
arousing the suspicion that certain     
subjects are unworthy of understanding4 
,and then you will find that this new   
conception of his relation to you1 as   
truly a part of your being1 will deepen 
and strengthen his natural feeling of   
affection and sympathy4 ,it is also well
 with the first telling to impress the  
child--in so many words1 if             
necessary--with the idea that he must   
always come to you for anything he wants
 to know1 and that you are always glad  
to tell him4  ,as the child grows older 
his knowledge of life must grow also4   
,in the country and in small towns the  
child becomes familiar with many        
important facts about life without any  
special effort being required to inform 

him4 ,he learns that chickies hatch out 
of eggs and that the eggs have been laid
 by the mother hen4 ,he learns that the 
field and garden plants grow from seeds 
and that the seeds were borne by the    
mother plants4 ,he learns about the     
coming of the calf and the colt2 and    
even city children can learn that       
kittens and puppies come from mother    
animals4 ,it is a comparatively simple  
matter for a child with such knowledge  
to get the further information that the 
baby brother developed from an egg that 
mother kept near her heart during the   
hatching time4 ,much of this knowledge  
that the country child acquires         
incidentally must be brought to the city
 child through special efforts and      
devices1 in the school as well as in the
 home1 that he may acquire the          
fundamental facts of bearing and rearing
 young1 in plants as well as in animals1
 and that he may look upon these facts  
not as strange or disconcerting marvels1
 but as natural happenings4  ,miss      

,garrett1 one of the most successful    
teachers of sex and reproduction1 tells 
the story of some city boys who had been
 taught these things1 and who had       
decided1 in their club1 to raise        
rabbits4 ,the selection of a father     
rabbit and a mother rabbit was too      
important a matter to leave to a        
committee1 so the whole club went in a  
body to attend to these preliminaries4  
,the care the boys took of the mother   
rabbit during her pregnancy was in      
itself an education4 ,later ,miss       
,garrett saw the leader of the club--who
 had been the toughest of the gang--with
 another boy on the street1 while a     
pregnant woman was trying to cross with 
a heavy basket4 ,come on1 ,jim1 he      
called1 let's help her across4 ,this    
same boy but a few months back would    
have ridiculed the poor woman in her    
plight4  ,every child can learn what    
,jim and his companion learned4 ,he can 
learn to respect motherhood and to be   
considerate of mothers as mothers4 ,it  

is very interesting to see the great    
differences in this regard between      
families in which the fact of motherhood
 is a secret1 and those in which it is a
 matter of common knowledge4 ,i was     
visiting a friend whose six-year-old boy
 knew that another baby was expected1   
and he was very careful to avoid        
annoying his mother4 ,of course1 the    
attitude of the other members of the    
family also had an influence upon the   
conduct of this child4 ,but another     
mother complained that she received very
 little consideration during pregnancy  
from her oldest son--a boy of           
fourteen--although all the other members
 of the family were as careful and as   
thoughtful as could be desired4 ,this   
second mother1 however1 had allowed her 
older boys to grow up on the assumption 
that sex and reproduction had nothing to
 do with life1 or1 at any rate1 were of 
no concern to them and were not suitable
 subjects to know about2 so that her    
boys did not know that something unusual

 was in the air1 or that something      
special was expected of them4  ,the     
important thing for the mother to do    
during these growing years is to retain 
the confidence of the children1 and to  
give them an opportunity to become      
acquainted with the everyday facts about
 plants and animals4 ,the questions that
 come to the child's mind will be       
questions of motherhood and babyhood1   
chiefly1 and not questions of sex or    
fatherhood4 ,when these questions do at 
last arise1 as they are sure to almost  
any time after twelve years1 and        
sometimes even before1 you have a great 
advantage if your child brings his      
questions to you instead of to his      
casual acquaintances of the school or   
street1 even if you are not prepared to 
answer all the questions for him4 ,the  
girl will come to her mother1 and the   
boy will come to his father1 if they    
have acquired the habit of coming with  
frankness and confidence4 ,then1 if for 
any reason you are not qualified to tell

 what needs to be told1 you may just as 
frankly say so and refer the child to   
the right instructor1 who may be a      
teacher or the family physician4 ,older 
children may even be sent to suitable   
books4 ,but the most desirable condition
 is that in which the parents have      
prepared in advance to answer all the   
questions themselves1 and even to       
anticipate some questions4              
,illustration3 ,in the country children 
become acquainted with the facts of     
life4  ,the child should receive        
instruction along these lines at various
 stages in his development1 even up to  
young manhood or womanhood1             
corresponding to his physical           
development and to his mental           
development1 which normally proceed in  
close relation to each other4 ,the girl 
should be informed how to care for her  
health4 ,the boy should be instructed   
about the sex life of the opposite sex  
to know what they have a right to       
expect1 or rather what they have no     

right to demand of the other4 ,boys     
during the adolescent period1 which has 
been called the age of chivalry and     
romance1 are keen to appreciate the     
rights of others and their own duties to
 the weak2 it is at this time that we   
are to appeal to their sense of honor in
 establishing ideals of purity1 and the 
sense of responsibility as bearers of   
the life stream4 ,the standards of sex  
morals are established during this      
period1 for girls as well as for boys4  
,their strength to time of temptation   
will lie in the ideals which now become 
fixed4 ,we want our girls to grow up    
demanding purity of the young men they  
will meet1 not pretending that they do  
not know the difference4 ,and we want   
our boys to grow up with faith in the   
literal truth of that fine line about   
,sir ,galahad3  ,his strength is as the 
strength of ten1 because his heart is   
pure4  ,the parents who wish to prepare 
themselves with a knowledge of what to  
tell their children in place of the old 

stork fable2 of when to tell1 instead of
 postponing to a dishonest some other   
time2 and of how to tell1 instead of in 
the embarrassing1 half-expressed        
vagueness1 would do well to read some of
 the abundant literature on this subject
 that has been issued in recent years   
just for our help3 ,some of the best    
titles are given below4  ,the following 
titles1 with comments1 are taken for the
 most part from ,a ,selected ,list of   
,books for ,parents1 issued by the      
,federation for ,child ,study3          
,,biology ,,of ,,sex4 ,by ,t4 ,w4       
,galloway4 ,a concise and reliable      
statement of fundamental sex facts4     
,,girl ,,and ,,woman4 ,by ,caroline     
,latimer4 ,very helpful in understanding
 and dealing with the physical1 mental  
and moral disturbances of girlhood and  
early womanhood4 ,some of the           
recommendations1 particularly regarding 
physical aspects1 are open to question4 
,,marriage ,,and ,,the ,,sex ,,problem4 
,by ,f4 ,w4 ,foerster4 ,emphasis is laid

 upon the religious and spiritual sides 
of the emotional life1 upon training for
 self-control and the mastery of moods  
and instincts4  ,,sex4 ,by ,patrick     
,geddes and ,j4 ,arthur ,thompson4 ,the 
biological aspects of sex and also      
interesting chapters on sex education1  
the ethics of sex1 and sex and society4 
,good bibliography4  ,,sex ,,education4 
,by ,maurice ,a4 ,bigelow4 ,covers the  
problems of sex education and of        
criticisms of sex education4  ,,sex     
,,education4 ,by ,ira ,s4 ,wile1 ,m4,d4 
,an excellent little volume for the     
purpose of assisting parents to banish  
the difficulties and to suggest a plan  
for developing a course in sex          
education4 ,the chapter on terminology  
is most helpful4  ,,the ,,sexual ,,life 
,,of ,a ,,child4 ,by ,dr4 ,albert ,moll4
 ,an exhaustive study of the origin and 
development in childhood and youth1 of  
the acts and feelings due to sex4       
,indispensable to anyone interested in  
sex education4  ,,the ,,sexual          

,,question4 ,by ,august ,forel1 ,m4,d41 
,ph4,d41 ,,ll4,d4 ,translated from the  
,german by ,c4 ,f4 ,,marshall1 ,m4,d41  
,f4,r4,c4,s4 ,a comprehensive and       
reliable study of the subject from      
biological1 historical1 social and      
hygienic viewpoints4  ,,training ,,of   
,,the ,,young ,,in ,,laws ,,of ,,sex4   
,by the ,hon4 ,e4 ,lyttelton4 ,a brief  
presentation1 from a lofty point of view
 of the many phases of the sex problem  
as it confronts the boy4  ,the following
 books on sex education were written for
 children4 ,they are listed here1 not to
 be put into the hands of the young1 but
 as a help to parents in supplying      
methods of approach and a usable        
vocabulary3  ,,the ,,renewal ,,of       
,,life4 ,by ,margaret ,w4 ,morley4      
,,the ,,sex ,,side ,,of ,,life4 ,an     
,explanation for ,young ,people4 ,by    
,dr4 ,mary ,ware ,dennett 7,pamphlet1   
published by the author1 ,new ,york47   
,,the ,,spark ,,of ,,life4 ,by ,margaret
 ,w4 ,morley4  ,,the ,,three ,,gifts    

,,of ,,life4 ,by ,nellie ,m4 ,smith1    
,a4,m4  ,special studies in many parts  
of the country1 especially during the   
war1 have made it clear that girls in   
the adolescent stage are definitely     
aware of the need for clean and         
trustworthy instruction on matters      
pertaining to the relations between the 
sexes1 to the control of the emotions1  
to the care of the body during the      
menstrual period1 and to other problems 
arising from the facts of sex4  ,it is  
pathetic1 is it not1 to have a          
high-school girl write3 ,some parents   
are ashamed to tell their girls         
everything1 so that is why ,i think they
 should be told in school4 ,whose       
parents had she in mind8  ,another      
writes3 ,there are many girls with no   
mother or very near female relation that
 can tell them all they need to know1   
and if anything should happen in a      
girl's life1 she does not think it      
proper to speak to a male1 even if it is
 her father4 ,are the girls who have    

mothers or very near female relations to
 be none the better1 or happier for it8 
,i hope that mothers will not continue  
in the future1 as most have done in the 
past1 to hesitate about giving such     
information to their children4 ,if you  
are perhaps tempted to feel that you    
would like to preserve the child's      
innocence as long as possible1 you have 
but to realize that innocence is not the
 same as ignorance4 ,we are apt to      
forget how young we ourselves were when 
we had obtained one way or another a    
large mass of information about         
reproduction1 and even about sex4 ,the  
question is not whether a young child   
should have this information or not2 the
 question is whether he shall have      
correct and pure information1 or false  
and filthy information4 ,for one or the 
other he is sure to get4 ,true knowledge
 is the best mantle of innocence4  ,much
 misery is caused1 not only for girls1  
but also for boys1 by the lapses from   
the path of virtue4 ,if the young man   

who has gone astray is in a position to 
say1 ,had ,i but heeded6 instead of     
saying1 ,had ,i but known6 it will make 
a great difference in the way he will   
later feel toward the one person from   
whom he had a right to expect protecting
 knowledge4 ,it is true enough that     
knowledge alone is not a sure protection
 against wrong-doing2 but you can have  
no moral training without knowledge1 and
 knowledge is the least you can give4   
,there is no reason why parents should  
think of enlightening their children on 
this subject as a disagreeable          
necessity1 instead of as one of the     
important means through which to be of  
real help to their children1 and at the 
same time to help themselves to retain  
their hold upon the children4           
,,xiii4  ,,the ,,golden ,,age ,,of      
,,transition   ,there comes a time in   
the life of every boy and every girl    
that brings a maximum of trials and     
worry--to the other people4 ,this time  
is the golden age of transition from    

childhood to manhood or womanhood1 the  
age of adolescence4 ,if you have had    
annoyance and hardship with your        
infants1 if the children have perplexed 
you and tried you--as you thought1 to   
the limit--you may be sure that there is
 more in store for you4 ,for the age of 
adolescence brings with it problems and 
perplexities and annoyances that will   
make you forget that it's any trouble at
 all to look after younger children4    
,after years of painstaking attention to
 all the details of a child's home      
surroundings1 in the hope that this     
attention will result in distinct gains 
to the child's character1 it must be    
very discouraging to notice some fine   
day that ,louise is becoming rather     
finicky about the food--which is just as
 good as she has always had--and that   
,arthur is inclined to become rather    
short in speaking to his mother--not to 
say impudent4 ,and both are likely to   
become critical not only about the food 
but about a hundred other things that   

they find at home4 ,and both are likely 
to be something not far from impudent in
 giving expression to their criticisms4 
,in fact1 they will be quite prepared to
 undertake the education of their       
parents1 and to tell you with alarming  
assurance just how and when to do       
things1 both at home and abroad4        
,fortunate1 indeed1 are the parents who 
have come to this critical stage in     
their education equipped with a sense of
 humor4  ,however1 these unexpected and 
mortifying outbreaks of                 
inconsiderateness and bad manners do not
 show that your early efforts have all  
been in vain4 ,they do not show that    
outside influences beyond your control  
have perverted your children1 or have   
counteracted your efforts4 ,they show   
merely that ,louise and ,arthur are     
still growing1 and have now entered upon
 that most interesting and most         
significant period of the new birth4    
,it is well1 first of all1 for the      
mother--and the father1 too--to realize 

that this period is a passing one1 for  
this knowledge can save you many a      
worried day and many a sleepless night4 
,i do not mean that when the child comes
 to this dangerous age you are simply to
 let nature and impulse have their way4 
,i mean only that the problems are to be
 met with many devices1 but not with    
worry4 ,for we are coming to understand 
some of the fundamental causes of the   
great changes that occur in the nature  
of the growing child at this time1 and  
we are learning1 accordingly1 better    
ways of dealing with the troublesome    
manifestations of these changes4 ,not   
that we can lay down rules for the      
proper handling of all adolescents      
everywhere1 for we can not4 ,every      
individual is a problem by himself2 but 
we can learn a better way of approaching
 this precious problem1 a more helpful  
attitude to maintain toward him or her4 
,there is a physical basis for the      
remarkable alterations in the minds and 
morals of this age4 ,the infant grows   

very rapidly at first1 but with a       
diminishing rate until about the twelfth
 year4 ,then1 almost suddenly1 the rate 
of growth increases again1 and in four  
or five years most children have        
attained nearly their full physical     
growth4 ,associated with this great     
physical growth is the fact that some   
organs grow much faster than others1 so 
that the proportions of an adult come to
 be very different from those of a      
child4 ,in the meanwhile1 however1 there
 has been a great strain on the system1 
because1 apart from the demands of the  
general body growth1 some of the organs 
have not been able to keep up with the  
special demands made upon them4 ,for    
example1 the growth in body weight and  
in muscle may proceed more rapidly than 
the proportionate growth of the lungs or
 the liver1 or the weight may increase  
more rapidly than the proportionate     
strength of the muscles4 ,moreover1 the 
nervous system is developing at a more  
rapid rate1 probably1 than the other    

systems of organs1 and this strain shows
 itself in various ways that are        
disagreeable to adults with fixed habits
 and standards4  ,all of these changes  
are intimately bound up with the        
development of the sex organs and with  
the approach of sexual maturity4  ,a    
graceful child becomes awkward and a    
well-mannered child comes to act rudely 
and to speak quite unlike his former    
self4 ,these changes are related to the 
fact that with the development of the   
nervous system there arise impulses for 
hundreds of new kinds of movements which
 the child can learn to suppress or to  
control only with the passing of time4  
,this is the age at which the child is  
exposed to the acquirement of many      
undesirable muscular habits1 such as    
various kinds of fidgetings1 biting of  
the finger-nails1 twirling of buttons1  
wrinkling of the forehead1 shruggings1  
swaying the body1 rolling the tongue1   
tapping with the fingers or the feet1   
and so on4 ,nearly a thousand of these  

uncontrolled or automatic movements have
 been described in children of this age4
 ,of course1 any of these movements that
 produce sounds or that catch our eye   
are very annoying to us1 and if we have 
never nagged before1 we are likely to   
begin now by saying ,don't this and     
,don't that1 for we have never been     
tempted like this before4 ,but nagging  
is not what is called for4  ,are we then
 to let them keep on annoying others1 or
 are we to leave them to themselves to  
make permanent these awkward and        
disturbing and often hideous movements8 
,we should do neither4 ,we should       
remember that now of all times the boy  
or girl needs our friendship and our    
sympathy2 we should let the young person
 feel that our objections are not based 
upon our momentary annoyance1 but upon  
our concern for the kinds of habits he  
will acquire2 and we should do what we  
can to help him break his habit1 not    
insist that he break it for us4         
,moreover1 it is not certain that all of

 these fidgetings and tappings should be
 suppressed upon their first appearance4
 ,most of these automatic movements     
disappear of themselves as the child    
matures and learns to direct his nervous
 energy into channels that lead to      
useful actions1 as he acquires skill and
 self-control through practice in       
gymnastics or with tools1 or musical    
instruments or at some games4 ,and while
 there should be every opportunity to   
play games and musical instruments and  
to handle tools1 etc41 we should not be 
discouraged if1 after a whole day of    
hard exertion in work and play1 there is
 still some energy left for drumming on 
the table or teasing sister or the cat1 
or for dancing a jig upstairs and       
rattling the lamp4  ,closely connected  
with the rapid development of the       
nervous system is the fact of the       
increasing irritability of temper4 ,this
 will show itself every day in a hundred
 ways4 ,of course1 it is unreasonable1  
and1 of course1 the boy or girl is not  

to be allowed to become rude and        
impatient and domineering4 ,but with    
this increasing irritability comes      
increasing sensitiveness1 and it is very
 easy for you to make him realize that  
his conduct is not that becoming a      
gentleman1 or that his manner has been  
offensive4 ,he will not give you the    
satisfaction1 very often1 of letting you
 know that he fully appreciates your    
point of view2 indeed1 he will even make
 a show of disputing your position2 he  
will try to argue out a justification   
for his conduct1 or at least a          
mitigation4 ,but he knows very well what
 his offense is1 and is thoroughly      
ashamed of himself2 but he has to save  
his face4  ,it may be helpful to mothers
 and fathers1 and to others who have to 
do with girls and boys of this age1 to  
know that what appears to us as         
impudence is very often but an          
expression of the child's awkward       
attempt to hide his discomfiture or     
embarrassment4 ,this is especially true 

in the early stages of adolescence4 ,the
 boy or girl is becoming conscious of   
himself as a person1 and resents being  
treated as a child2 the only way he     
knows of asserting his personality is by
 affecting an air of disdain toward     
those who presume to treat him as a     
child4 ,this swagger is more likely to  
be put on when there is a third person  
present4 ,it is therefore always safer  
to reserve your discussions and         
corrections to the time when you are    
alone with your girl or boy1 and can    
place your conversation on an intimate  
basis4  ,hand in hand with spells of    
most irritating self-assertiveness1 the 
adolescent is subject to spells of most 
depressing humility and self-abnegation4
 ,indeed1 at every point this period is 
marked by the most violent contrasts and
 alterations of mood4 ,hours or days of 
seeming indifference to all interests   
and activities will be followed by keen 
excitement and enthusiasm4 ,a fit of    
doubt in his own ability and worthiness 

will be followed by almost ludicrous    
self-confidence4 ,a feverish desire for 
constant companionship will follow a    
dull and moody search for seclusion and 
solitude4 ,in general it is perhaps     
wisest to ignore these changing moods1  
except where they find their outlet in  
offensive or vicious conduct4 ,we must  
remember that it is just as trying to   
the young person as it is to the older  
ones2 and1 while we may not be prepared 
to yield our comfort and our standards  
to the whims of the girl or boy1 we     
should seek for adjustment through      
sympathetic exchange of ideas and       
sentiments1 and not through arbitrary   
rules4 ,in any case1 these changing     
moods need not in themselves be         
considered occasions for misgivings and 
worry about the future development1 for 
they are part and parcel of the rapid   
changes in the nervous system4  ,so     
complex is the character of this stage  
that volumes have been written about it2
 it has been recorded in song and in    

literature1 and has been celebrated in  
religious ceremonials from ancient      
times4 ,if1 then1 the mother finds it   
perplexing1 and somewhat beyond her full
 comprehension1 she certainly should not
 blame herself4  ,it has been said that 
the complexity of the individual during 
adolescence is due to the fact that at  
this time the brain and the whole body  
become at last awakened to their        
manifold capacities1 and that the child 
now is not only capable of doing        
everything that a human being can do1   
but feels the impulse to do everything4 
,but manifestly he cannot do all things 
at once2 hence the rapid changes of     
impulse and mood4 ,there is a sudden    
increase in emotions1 without suitable  
habits for giving them an outlet4 ,there
 is vague longing and formless yearning 
for the child knows not what4 ,much     
relief and satisfaction come from       
physical exertion1 especially for boys4 
,there is much satisfaction of the      
emotions from association with others2  

hence the growth of the gang and the    
feeling of kinship4  ,adults1 with their
 limited interests and their            
appreciation of the need for            
specialization in the practical pursuits
 of life1 are often inclined to look    
with disfavor upon the growing girl's or
 boy's dabbling in a hundred different  
directions4 ,not content with athletics 
and hunting1 the boy will want to       
collect stamps or birds' eggs1 to make a
 motor-boat and learn telegraphy2 to    
take photographs and try his hand at the
 cornet2 to experiment in chemistry and 
stuff an owl4 ,not content with dancing1
 sewing and cooking1 the girl will want 
to master several poets and make        
attempts at painting2 she will want to  
become more proficient at the piano and 
do some singing2 she will want her share
 of photography and athletics1 and would
 try her hand at writing a novel4 ,all  
these things seem so distracting to us  
that we fear either that the young      
person will become a superficial dabbler

 or will fail to settle down to         
something serious4 ,but much is to be   
said in favor of letting every girl and 
boy do as near to everything he or she  
wants to do as possible4 ,expertness can
 come later when a choice of a specialty
 has been made4 ,now is the time for    
touching life at as many points as      
possible1 for acquiring breadth of      
outlook and range of sympathy and       
interest4 ,now especially is the time   
for trying out the individual's         
capacities-- which may lie quite beyond 
the range of the conventional pursuits  
of the family or the neighborhood4 ,it  
is the time for self-discovery1 and to  
this end every bit of help that can come
 from the home and from the church1 from
 the school and from the community1 from
 direct experience and from literature1 
should be utilized4  ,the danger of     
early specialization is shown to us when
 we contemplate men and women who have  
no interests beyond their rather narrow 
routine occupations1 who have no        

sympathies beyond their rather narrow   
set of intimates1 who have no           
appreciation of human character and     
human service beyond the small circle   
into which they settled in their teens1 
and from which they can by no           
possibility be drawn4 ,it is because the
 formation of new habits becomes        
increasingly difficult after the        
sixteenth or seventeenth year that      
narrow prejudices and biased opinions   
should be avoided by participation in   
the broadest variety of activities and  
associations4 ,before the conflicting   
moods and tendencies are finally welded 
into a consistent whole the girl or boy 
should make a part of his personality as
 many sources of enthusiasm1 as many    
kinds of interest1 as many lines of     
sympathy as possible4 ,in a few years   
the character begins to set1 and the    
size of the character will be in large  
part determined by the number and       
variety of emotional1 intellectual1     
sensory1 and muscular elements that have

 been developed during this adolescent  
period4  ,one of the characteristics of 
this age is the tendency to hero        
worship4 ,it is so difficult to know in 
advance what types of heroes our        
children are going to select that we are
 inclined to feel quite helpless in the 
matter4 ,but it is safe to say that     
earlier training is sure to have its    
effects1 although we cannot always      
measure the effect4 ,a boy in whom a    
keen sense of honor shows itself before 
adolescence is not likely to adopt a    
hero in whom there is a suspicion of    
anything sneaky4 ,the new flood of      
emotions brings with it a host of new   
aspirations and new ideals2 and some of 
these are likely enough to conflict with
 the older childish ideals4 ,it is      
therefore of the utmost importance that 
the reading--which is perhaps the chief 
source of model heroes for most         
children--should be of a wholesome kind4
 ,this does not mean that the stories   
must be about paragons of virtue2 the   

villains of fiction and history have    
their value in teaching life and        
character1 and we need not fear that    
they will contaminate the minds of the  
young1 for in most children the         
instincts may be relied upon to reject  
the allurement of the base character4   
,but fiction that is false in its       
sentiment1 that does not present        
truthful pictures of life1 is likely to 
give perverted ideas of human relations 
and false standards of value4 ,city     
children who have access to the theatre 
often get their heroes from the stage2  
and the same thing may be said about the
 drama as about fiction4 ,it is only the
 too highly colored and exaggerated     
melodrama that is likely to be          
objectionable for the impressionable    
youth4 ,the moving-picture shows1 which 
are coming to supply so many of the     
children with their chief opportunity to
 learn life1 have been1 on the whole1   
fairly wholesome2 and the movement to   
secure more adequate censorship of the  

films will probably leave these sources 
of instruction perfectly safe1 from a   
moral point of view1 so far as concerns 
the knowledge of life that the          
adolescent gets4 ,the only real danger  
from the movies and the theatres is     
likely to be the cultivation of the     
habit of passive entertainment4  ,and   
this suggests another source of puzzles 
of adolescence4 ,in the alternating     
moods of excessive exertion and         
indolence there is the possibility of   
girls and boys learning the value of    
alternation of work and play and rest4  
,but there is also the danger of        
acquiring the habit of resting all the  
time1 and leaving not only the work for 
others1 but also the activity of play4  
,it is much better for children to rest 
because they are tired than because they
 are lazy4 ,and1 while it is true that  
the instincts are all for activity1 it  
is easy enough for the growing          
individual to acquire the habit of      
passive absorption of whatever amusement

 is provided4 ,it is better1 then1 for  
the young people to get their           
entertainment out of theatricals than   
out of the theatre1 out of playing games
 than out of watching games1 out of     
having adventures in the woods and in   
the water than out of reading about     
them4 ,and1 in every way1 the most      
reliable safety-valve of the period is  
constant activity1 as this is the best  
outlet for the many and conflicting     
emotions which are the source of the    
chief difficulties4 ,when ,arthur shows 
signs of getting restless it is a great 
comfort to be able to send him off on   
some errand1 or to give him a definite  
task to do4 ,but it is also a great     
service to the boy1 for while he is at  
the work there is being used up the     
nervous energy that would otherwise     
appear at the surface as another spell4 
,and this principle is just as true for 
girls as it is for boys4 ,only you      
cannot send the girl to a piece of work 
requiring great bodily exertion--nor    

does she need this so much4  ,work is   
not only a satisfactory safety-valve for
 the emotions in general1 but it is     
especially valuable as a means of       
diverting the thoughts and feelings from
 the growing consciousness of sex4  ,one
 of the reasons why it now becomes more 
difficult for even thoughtful and       
considerate parents to keep in close    
sympathy with the boy or girl is this   
outburst of new and varied interests1   
which clamor for movement and color and 
quick changes4 ,the parent has in the   
course of years settled down to a       
relatively small group of activities and
 interests1 most of which offer no      
appeal to the growing individual4 ,for  
instance1 you would like to come close  
to the thoughts and feelings of your    
growing son or daughter2 you suggest    
that you take a walk together4 ,now1 it 
is very nice for a middle-aged person to
 take a walk1 alone or with a companion2
 but the girl or boy sees no sense in   
taking a walk unless you wish to get    

somewhere4 ,the ordinary conversation   
and gossip that a girl is likely to hear
 when you take her to visit a friend is 
apt to be very stupid--to the girl4     
,even where the parents have watched the
 expanding soul closely on the one hand1
 and have kept themselves in touch with 
a variety of activities rich in human   
interests on the other1 they often find 
that the intimacy with their children is
 for a time weakened1 and fully restored
 only after the latter have passed      
through these trying years4  ,what is   
likely to be the greatest source of     
grief on the part of the parent is the  
apparent lapse of the growing boy or    
girl from standards of honesty and      
truthfulness with which she has so      
solicitously tried to imbue him or her4 
,but this lapse during the critical     
growing period is so widespread1 so     
common among boys and girls who         
afterward become fine men and women1    
that special students of the problem    
have come to believe that               

semi-criminality is quite normal1 at    
least for boys1 at this age4 ,now1 while
 some children are perhaps by nature    
incapable of attaining to a satisfactory
 moral level1 most children will1 under 
suitable surroundings1 grow away from   
this state of lying and stealing2 but   
under adverse conditions these          
distressing features of their behavior  
may become habitual4 ,suitable          
surroundings and treatment would here   
consist of the presence of good models  
and high ideals1 sympathetic help in    
resisting temptation1 and not in a harsh
 denunciation of each unapproved act as 
evidence of turpitude and perversion4   
,you need not assume that there is      
perversion until that is demonstrated   
beyond any doubt4 ,for1 if the child is 
morally redeemable1 he should be treated
 like one who is weak and who needs help
 until the difficulties are mastered2   
otherwise you are likely to encourage in
 him the feeling that he is hopeless1   
and he will relax all effort for his own

 self-mastery4  ,along with the emotions
 related to romantic love there is a    
rapid development of the religious side 
of the nature1 of a consciousness of the
 race as a whole1 of a spirit of        
chivalry and disinterestedness-- all    
emotions that bear a tremendous motive  
power which needs to be guided into     
suitable channels4 ,never before and    
never again has the individual the      
endurance and the energy for such       
self-sacrifice1 for such devotion1 for  
such exertion in behalf of the purest of
 ideals4 ,at the same time1 the         
increased sensitiveness shrinks from    
every sneer and every evidence of       
misunderstanding or unsympathetic       
reproof4 ,it is therefore unwise to     
tease the girl or boy about the friend  
of the opposite sex2 it is cruel to     
sneer at their ambitions1 and it may be 
positively demoralizing to ridicule     
their ideals4  ,a mother of unusual     
intelligence1 who had devoted herself   
not only to the routine work connected  

with her household and the care of her  
children1 but had made special efforts  
to keep informed on what was going on in
 the world of thought and practical     
affairs1 and who had a busy life of     
varied activities1 was walking along a  
city street with her youngest son--just 
fifteen4 ,the adolescent1 who was rather
 free in his comments on what went on   
around him1 made this pretty little     
speech to his mother3  ,mother1 ,i think
 you have a very petty mind4 ,here you  
fuss around trying to help out that poor
 ,v---- family by getting together      
clothing for the children1 and an odd   
job for the old man once in a while4    
,and you have been trying to raise a    
fund to complete the education of the   
,w---- boy1 and all things of that kind4
 ,but all you have done does not help to
 solve the problem of poverty4  ,the    
mother1 who had indeed been carrying on 
these various good works1 alongside of  
many other activities1 naturally        
resented the criticism of her son4 ,but 

what she minded most was the            
inconsistency of the boy when1 a few    
minutes later1 they passed a street     
preacher with a crowd about him4 ,they  
could not hear what the man was saying1 
but the wise young adolescent remarked1 
,i wish ,i had some money to help that  
fellow with4  ,now1 thinks the mother1  
what do you know about this man's       
purposes2 what is he working for8  ,the 
boy did not know2 but he wanted to do   
something to help the cause4 ,what      
cause1 he did not know--and did not     
care2 for him it was enough that here a 
man is devoting himself to a cause4     
,and this incident illustrates nearly   
everything that makes the adolescent so 
puzzling and so exasperating to older   
people4  ,first of all1 he had gotten   
hold of a large idea1 which he could not
 by any possibility understand in all   
its bearings2 and on the basis of this  
he criticises the charitable efforts of 
his mother and1 indeed1 of her whole    
generation4 ,not only does he criticise 

the prevailing1 modes of philanthropic  
effort1 but he condemns these good      
people as having petty minds--because   
they do not all see what he has seen1   
perhaps for as long as a day or two4    
,his attitude is not reasoned out1 but  
arises from the deepest feelings of     
sympathy for the great tragedy of       
poverty1 which he takes in at one sweep 
without patience for the details of     
individual poor people4 ,then the       
preacher on the street corner1 exposing 
himself to the gibes and sneers of the  
unsympathetic crowd1 appeals to him     
instantly as a self-sacrificing champion
 of some cause4 ,it is his religious    
feelings1 his chivalric feelings1 that  
are reached2 he would himself become a  
missionary1 and the missionary is a hero
 that appeals especially to the         
adolescent4 ,there is no inconsistency  
between his disapproval of specific acts
 of charity and his approval of the     
preacher of an unknown cause4 ,in both  
instances he gives voice to his feelings

 for the larger1 comprehensive ideals   
that are just surging to the surface of 
his consciousness4  ,this is the period 
in which you will one day complain that 
the young person is giving altogether   
too much time and thought to details of 
dress and fashion1 only to remonstrate a
 few days later about his careless or   
even slovenly appearance4 ,on the whole1
 however1 the interest in dress and     
appearance will grow1 because as the    
adolescent boy or girl becomes conscious
 of his own personality he thinks more  
and more of the appearance of his       
person1 and especially of how it appears
 to others4 ,there is even the danger   
that the boy will become a fop or a     
dandy1 and that the girl will take to   
overdressing4 ,argument is of little    
avail in such cases4 ,the association   
with persons of good taste who will     
arouse the admiration or affection of   
the growing child will do more than     
hours of sermons4 ,if the boy can       
realize that one may be a fine man      

without wearing the latest style in     
collars1 or if the girl finds a         
thoroughly admirable and lovable woman  
who does not observe the customs of     
fashion too much1 neither ridicule nor  
protest will be necessary4  ,in general1
 the adolescent will give us exercise in
 patience and in imagination and in     
ingenuity4 ,he will puzzle us and       
perplex us as well as exasperate us4    
,but if we cannot remember back to our  
own golden age1 we must try as best we  
can to believe that even this will pass 
away4     ,,xiv4  ,,heredity ,,and      
,,environment  ,with special assistance 
from ,,benjamin ,,charles ,,gruenberg1  
,ph4,d4   ,the frequent appearance of   
the black sheep in a flock of tolerably 
white sheep1 the frequent failure of the
 best efforts of parents and teachers to
 make a fairly decent man out of a      
promising boy1 have led many to question
 whether1 after all1 the pains and      
effort are worth while4 ,we have come to
 question the wisdom of bothering about 

environment2 just as we sometimes       
question the existence of a principle   
called heredity4 ,every day some one    
asks the question1 ,do you believe in   
heredity8 ,and many times a day people  
discuss1 ,which is more important1      
heredity or environment8  ,these are    
certainly practical questions for       
parents1 since the answers we receive   
must influence our practice or conduct  
in relation to the children4 ,if we felt
 quite sure that heredity was everything
 and environment nothing1 we should     
reduce our school appropriations and    
build larger jails and asylums1 or we   
should resign ourselves as best we could
 to letting nature take her course4 ,on 
the other hand1 if we felt sure that    
heredity was nothing and environment    
everything1 we should proceed at once to
 double our school equipment1 raise the 
teachers' salaries1 convert our penal   
institutions into reformatories and our 
armories into recreation centres1 and   
advance the age of compulsory education 

just as far as we thought we could      
afford to4  ,those who place the        
emphasis upon heredity1 in the attempt  
to discredit the value of thoughtful and
 painstaking control of the environment 
of the developing child1 usually remind 
us that a man like ,lincoln achieved    
power and distinction in spite of what  
we would ordinarily consider serious    
obstacles to complete development1      
whereas thousands of college graduates  
who have had all the advantages that    
trained tutors and guarded surroundings 
can give have developed into mediocre   
men and women--have even developed into 
vicious and criminal men and women4     
,they will remind us that from a class  
of children that had the same teachers  
for many years has emerged a group of   
very distinct men and women2 they will  
remind us that brothers and sisters with
 the identical environment turn out to  
be so different4  ,on the other hand1   
those who see nothing in heredity will  
point to the same ,lincoln and ask      

confidently why his ancestors and his   
descendants do not show the same degree 
of power and achievement4 ,they will    
point to the same family of brothers and
 sisters who had the same heredity and  
ask why they all turned out so          
differently4 ,the black sheep proves    
just as much--and just as little--for   
one side of the argument as it does for 
the other4  ,there are1 it is true1 many
 people who say that they do not believe
 in either heredity or environment4     
,such people see the difficulties of the
 disputants and reject both             
alternatives4 ,they prefer to say       
frankly that they do not understand the 
situation2 that life is too complex to  
be solved by puny human intellects4 ,or 
they resort to some equally             
unintelligible explanation1 such as     
,fate or ,nature--which is but another  
way of saying that we never can         
understand4 ,on the other side stands   
the scientist who refuses to shut his   
eyes to any established facts1 and      

insists upon trying to understand as    
much as possible1 though he may never   
hope to understand all4  ,but no one is 
prepared to say authoritatively that    
either heredity or environment is the   
exclusive or even the predominant factor
 in determining the character of the    
individual4 ,indeed1 the voice of the   
scientist1 which is the only            
authoritative voice we have in such     
matters1 is telling us very plainly that
 the whole question of heredity or      
environment is not a real question at   
all3 we are confronted in every child   
with a case of heredity and environment1
 and the practical question is how to   
control the latter so as to get the most
 from the former4  ,to begin1 then1 in a
 modest way to understand what is       
understandable1 in the faith that       
understanding will grow with thought and
 observation1 is the first duty of those
 who are not content to fold their hands
 in resignation or despair4 ,we know    
that we can control wherever we have    

real knowledge4 ,the cook knows that she
 cannot make roast duck out of pork     
chops2 but she knows also that she can  
make palatable and digestible pork chops
 by proceeding in one way1 and that she 
can make tough and sickening pork chops 
out of the same materials by changing   
her procedure4 ,in the same way the     
scientific approach to the problem of   
child training teaches us that1 while we
 cannot make a swan out of a goose1 we  
can make the gosling into a better goose
 or a poorer goose by the treatment we  
apply to it4  ,a frequent source of     
doubt and misunderstanding is the       
universal occurrence of such distinct   
types among brothers and sisters4 ,the  
query at once arises1 ,have not these   
children the same heredity8 ,brothers   
and sisters have the same ancestors1 but
 not the same heredity4 ,recent         
biological discoveries teach us that the
 individual develops from a bundle of   
units derived from the two parents1 but 
the units supplied by a parent never    

represent the totality of the parents'  
composition1 nor do all the units that  
are passed on come to manifest          
themselves as parts of the character4   
,the parent passes on sample units from 
her or his own inheritance1 so that no  
two combinations are ever exactly alike4
 ,it is a commonplace observation that  
,johnny may have his maternal           
grandmother's chin1 his paternal        
grandmother's eyes1 his father's walk1  
his ,uncle ,george's lips1 his ,aunt    
,mary's sharp tongue1 his grandfather's 
alertness1 and his mother's good        
judgment4 ,of course1 he has not his    
grandmother's eyes or his uncle's lips3 
these relatives still retain their      
respective facial organs1 and his father
 still has his quick temper4 ,what      
,johnny has inherited is a something1   
perhaps in the nature of a ferment1     
which determines the color of his eyes1 
a certain something that makes his lips 
develop into that particular shape1 a   
certain something that causes his brain 

to respond to annoyance in the same     
manner as that of his ,aunt ,mary's4    
,and the various ancestors and relatives
 have received from their parents       
similar determining factors that have   
manifested themselves in similar        
peculiarities4 ,we do not inherit from  
our relatives1 or even from our parents3
 we are built up of the same elements as
 those of which our relatives are built1
 but each one of us has received his    
individual combination of factors4      
,hence1 no two brothers or sisters are  
exactly alike1 although they have the   
same parents and the same ancestors4    
,while it is universally recognized that
 no two individuals are exactly alike1  
we are not at all clear in our minds as 
to whether the important differences    
arise from differences in experience or 
nurture1 or from essential differences  
in nature4 ,we know that children of the
 same parents are essentially different 
from birth1 and that no matter how      
similar the treatment they receive      

afterward they will always remain       
different1 or even become more different
 as they become older4 ,it is becoming  
more clear every day1 as a result of    
scientific study1 that every individual 
is absolutely unique1 excepting only    
true twins4  ,if we accept this         
individuality of the person as a fact1  
what1 then1 is the importance of        
training or environment8 ,does not this 
admission settle at once the contention 
of those who see no value at all in a   
carefully-controlled environment8 ,if   
this child is born without mathematical 
ability1 what is the use of drumming    
arithmetic into his head2 or1 if he is  
born with musical genius1 why should we 
bother about teaching him music8--he    
will take to it naturally4  ,the answer 
to these and similar questions is to be 
found in the answer to another question1
 namely1 ,what is it precisely that the 
child is born with8 ,surely no child is 
ever born with the ability to dance or  
sing or to do sums in algebra4 ,when we 

say that a child has musical genius we  
mean merely that as he develops we may  
notice in him a certain capacity to     
acquire musical knowledge more readily  
than most other children do1 or a       
certain disposition to express himself  
in melody1 or a certain liking for music
 in some form1 or a certain readiness to
 acquire control of musical instruments4
 ,in other words1 the child is born with
 a capacity for acquiring certain       
things1 from the outside1 that is1 from 
the environment--he is born with certain
 possibilities1 which can become        
actualities only if the suitable        
conditions are provided4 ,in the same   
way one child is born with a capacity   
for exceptional muscular development1   
and another for exceptional             
self-mastery4 ,but in every case        
practice makes perfect1 the muscles must
 be properly nourished and exercised1   
the will must be trained--and that means
 suitable environment4  ,now1 while     
every individual is unique1 not every   

child is a born genius4 ,the            
distinctiveness of each child lies in   
the fact that he consists of a          
combination of capacities and           
tendencies1 each of which varies in     
degree when compared with other         
individuals4 ,for example1 ,evelyn has  
about the same capacity for physical    
work as ,annie1 but she stands lower    
than the latter in arithmetic and higher
 in language work4 ,john shows about the
 same physical power as ,henry1 when    
measured by running and jumping and     
chinning2 but ,john can hit the ball    
with his bat more times out of a hundred
 than ,henry can1 whereas ,henry can hit
 the bull's-eye with his rifle more     
times out of a hundred than ,john can4  
,in a thousand details any two children 
differ from each other1 one excelling in
 nearly half of the points1 the other   
excelling perhaps in about as many1 and 
the two standing almost exactly alike in
 some matters4  ,a child that excels    
most of his colleagues in one or a few  

points is said to have marked ability in
 that direction--as the exceptional     
athlete1 or the child with exceptional  
literary or moral feeling4 ,on the other
 hand1 a child that seems to measure    
well up to the average in most points1  
and even to excel in a few1 may fall far
 short in some matters1--that is1 may be
 deficient4 ,thus a perfectly good child
 in every other way may be unable to    
master the ordinary requirements in     
arithmetic1 or a child may have an      
entirely satisfactory development in    
every way and be deficient in musical   
discrimination4  ,another kind of       
difference is to be found in what may be
 called general capacity4 ,some children
 show higher capacity than the average  
along nearly every line that can be     
measured or tested1 without showing a   
preponderance in any one direction4     
,such children are said to be of high   
grade1 or of high vitality4 ,in the same
 way many children are below the average
 in nearly every line1 without being    

particularly defective along any one    
line4 ,they can do one thing about as   
well as another1 just as the high-grade 
boys and girls can do one thing about as
 well as another2 but in the former     
there is a limit to the possible        
development which is exceeded in the    
latter4 ,among both classes of children 
the full development depends upon       
suitable environment1 but what is       
suitable for one may not be suitable for
 the other4  ,from a consideration of   
these differences in degree and         
difference in kind we may see that there
 is no course of training or treatment1 
no method of instruction1 no trick for  
the mother or for the teacher that will 
be usable for all children under all    
circumstances1 to make them all come up 
to some preconceived uniform standard4  
,on the other hand1 if we consider the  
differences as worth developing1 and    
even emphasizing1 it must be obvious    
that the training and the treatment     
should be adapted to the individual     

child so far as possible4 ,starting out 
with essentially different human beings1
 uniform treatment will not make them   
all alike1 nor will any treatment make  
them all alike4 ,but starting out with a
 particular human being1 we can learn to
 treat him in such a way as to make him 
develop into a more desirable person    
than he would become if he were         
neglected or if he were treated         
differently4 ,and that is the main      
problem1 after all4  ,the relation      
between heredity and environment may    
perhaps be made clear by an extreme     
illustration from the physical side4    
,here are two full-grown men1 both five 
feet and four inches tall4 ,we observe  
that they are both short4 ,now1 the     
shortness of one of them turns out to be
 the result of heredity1--that is1 he   
belongs to a strain of short people4 ,no
 amount of feeding or of exercise or of 
special rgime could have made him more  
than a quarter or half an inch taller4  
,the other man1 however1 belongs to a   

race of rather taller men and women3 his
 shortness of stature may be traced to  
undernutrition1 or to overwork1 or to   
sickness during his childhood4 ,it is   
quite certain that a different kind of  
environment would have resulted in his  
being as tall as his brothers and       
sisters4  ,now1 the problem of training 
concerns itself practically not so much 
with the person who is particularly long
 by nature1 nor so much with the person 
who is unusually short by nature--and we
 may apply long and short to every other
 trait as well as to stature4 ,the      
problem with these extremes is simply to
 keep the child in good health4 ,the    
special efforts of the teacher and of   
the parent are devoted to giving the    
child who appears somewhat below the    
average in some particular those special
 stimulations and exercises and feedings
 that will bring him up to the average4 
,we find the extremely short too        
discouraging1 and the extremely long do 
not clamor for our attention2 but it is 

those near the middle-point that we want
 to help over to the other side of the  
dividing line4 ,and this is just as true
 of an undesirable character as it is of
 a desirable one4 ,we take no trouble to
 teach honesty to the child that seems  
instinctively honest2 and we give up in 
despair with the child that convinces us
 of his utter lack of a moral sense3 we 
concentrate our efforts upon the        
delinquents whom we catch early1 or upon
 those who are in danger of sliding down
 if they are not helped along4  ,perhaps
 one reason for the great confusion on  
this subject arises out of the fact that
 we have become accustomed to making a  
sharp distinction between physical      
characters on the one hand and so-called
 mental and moral qualities on the      
other4 ,every one recognizes family     
resemblances in physical features4 ,a   
particular shape of nose or a           
peculiarity of the hand appears in every
 member of the family1 sometimes for    
several successive generations4 ,facts  

like these we accept as evidence of     
heredity without any question4 ,we also 
recognize that the ,joneses of          
,centerville always take the measles    
hard1 whereas with the ,andersons       
vaccination never takes4 ,but when it   
comes to mental qualities1 which we are 
not accustomed to measure or to         
recognize with the same degree of       
discrimination1 most of us fail to see  
that heredity is just as common for     
these as for physical traits4 ,moreover1
 mental qualities take on such a great  
variety of forms that their recognition 
is made doubly difficult4 ,thus it may  
be the same mental traits that make of a
 certain man a successful lawyer1 of his
 brother an able scientist1 and of their
 cousin a clever criminal4 ,no doubt    
each of these three men has qualities in
 a degree lacking in the others2 but the
 point is that they have many qualities 
in common which are obscured by the     
different lines of development they have
 followed4  ,the old parable of the     

wheat cast upon the ground may help us4 
,that which falls upon stony ground     
fails of germination2 that which falls  
upon poor soil will germinate1 but will 
die of drought or be scorched by the    
sun2 that which falls upon good soil    
will develop into a good plant4 ,the    
kind of plant that may develop is       
determined by the seed1 by heredity2 how
 the plant will develop is determined by
 the surrounding conditions1 by the     
environment4 ,on the physical side these
 facts are so familiar to us that we    
never question the connection between   
development and food1 or between        
development and exercise1 or between    
development and other physical          
conditions4 ,of course1 we say1 an      
undernourished child will never be      
strong2 of course1 an overworked child  
will never be strong1 of course1        
drinking and smoking and other          
dissipation will prevent healthy        
development4 ,and yet1 do we not know   
that of two underfed children1 one will 

show the ill effects more than the      
other2 that of two overworked children1 
one will survive abuse with less        
permanent injury than the other4  ,we   
must1 then1 have clear in our minds the 
idea that everything that happens to a  
child and that may produce a reaction or
 an effect is worth considering from the
 point of view of its influence upon his
 development4 ,indeed1 instead of       
discussing heredity versus environment1 
we should try to conceive of the        
personality of the child as made up of  
the effect of a certain heredity        
responding to a certain environment4    
,for example1 the child inherits the    
instinct to handle things4 ,at a certain
 age this instinct will take the form of
 handling objects within reach1 and of  
breaking them4 ,we cannot say that the  
child has an instinct for breaking vases
 or tearing books2 he has simply the    
instinct to do something with material  
that he can handle4 ,now1 it is possible
 for the child to exercise this instinct

 only on material that can be broken or 
torn2 it is also possible for the child 
to exercise it on material that can be  
manipulated constructively--as blocks   
for building1 clay for shaping1 or1     
later1 tools of various kinds4 ,in one  
case the child establishes habits of    
tearing or breaking2 in the other the   
same instincts--the same heredity1 that 
is--issues in habits of making4 ,or we  
may take the instinct of curiosity1     
which every normal child will manifest  
at an early stage4 ,this instinct may   
find exercise in wondering what is in   
parcels or closed cupboards2 or it may  
exercise itself in wondering about the  
thunder and the flowers and the things  
under the earth2 or it may be quite     
suppressed by discouragement or by      
unsatisfying indulgence4 ,thus the same 
instinct may lead under different       
treatments to different results4 ,this  
does not mean that every child has the  
making of an investigator2 it means that
 a perfectly healthy instinct capable of

 being turned to good use is often      
perverted or crushed out because we have
 not learned to cultivate it profitably 
through control of the growing child's  
development4  ,there is abundant        
evidence that the mental and moral      
capacities are inherited in the same way
 as the purely physical or physiological
 ones4 ,we have1 however1 much more to  
learn about how to control the          
development of the former than about the
 control of the latter4 ,yet this point 
should be clear to every parent and     
teacher2 whatever the child's           
inheritance may be1 the full development
 of his capacities is possible only     
under suitable external conditions4     
,what these conditions are depends upon 
the combination of capacities that the  
particular child possesses4 ,but to find
 out what these capacities are we must  
give the child an opportunity to show   
what's in him4 ,this we can do by       
placing him in an environment simple    
enough for him to adjust himself to     

readily1 and at the same time complex   
enough to give every side of his nature 
a chance to respond4 ,this is the       
significance of modern educational      
movements that seek to leave the child  
untrammelled in his responses to what   
goes on around him4 ,we have learned    
that some children will become tall and 
that others will never reach beyond a   
certain height2 we seek merely to keep  
them healthy by suitable feeding1       
exercise1 rest1 bathing1 etc4 ,but in   
the matter of mental development we have
 not yet learned that it is impossible  
for all children to reach the same      
degree of linguistic or mathematical or 
artistic development1 and we try to     
bring all of them up to our preconceived
 standard of what a child should do in  
each line4 ,the thing that we need to   
find out is what a particular child can 
do2 and then we must give him the       
opportunity and the encouragement to do 
his best4 ,the things we encourage him  
to do will be the basis for the habits  

which he will form1 for the skill which 
he will acquire--and so for the         
activities that will yield him          
satisfaction and determine his behavior 
in relation to others4 ,that is1 the    
things the child learns to do well will 
determine what kind of a person he will 
be when he grows up4  ,but it would be a
 mistake to suppose that every child is 
born with a set of special aptitudes    
that fit him for some particular        
occupation4 ,many children do indeed    
have rather special types of native     
ability1 as the child of artistic       
proclivities1 or the natural born       
preacher4 ,and1 on the other hand1 many 
children are born with marked           
shortcomings in their makeup1 although  
these deficiencies need not always      
interfere with their developing into    
excellent men and women4 ,for example1 a
 child may be color-blind1 or incapable 
of mastering a foreign language in      
school1 or awkward in doing work        
requiring great skill--and yet capable  

of doing high-grade work in other lines4
 ,those children that have              
strongly-marked proclivities--which     
usually show themselves early in life   
and which are commonly associated with  
strong likes and dislikes--will no doubt
 do the most effective work along the   
lines of their native talents4 ,and     
those with marked deficiencies should   
certainly not be directed into          
occupations wherein the lacking talents 
are essential for success4 ,but the     
great mass of children vary from each   
other not so much in the directions     
along which their special abilities lie 
as in the degree to which they are      
capable of developing the ordinary      
abilities which they do have4 ,for such 
children the choice of an occupation    
cannot wisely be made very early in     
life1 nor should a very special choice  
be made until there has been an         
opportunity to try out a large variety  
of activities and processes4 ,indeed1   
even for the child of decided genius it 

is desirable that there be a chance to  
try out many kinds of activities1 both  
physical and mental4 ,this is desirable 
not so much in the hope of counteracting
 his special bent on the theory of      
supplying exercise for the functions    
that are not to his liking as for the   
purpose of giving him an opportunity to 
find out all he can do1 and to give us a
 chance to find out all he can do well4 
,even children who pass as average      
children1 however1 may be divided into  
classes according to the variations in  
their native capacities4 ,that is to    
say1 some children1 although not        
exhibiting any special talents or       
special deficiencies1 are nevertheless  
more easily adjusted to doing muscular  
work than others2 some are more happy in
 the manipulation of numbers2 some show 
greater patience2 some are more easily  
fatigued by the repetition of a process2
 some cannot stand on their feet for    
long periods without suffering1 and so  
on4 ,these differences should certainly 

be taken into consideration1 first of   
all1 in the treatment accorded them in  
the school and at home1 in what is      
required of them1 in the selection of   
studies1 etc4 ,and1 in the second place1
 these facts should be considered in the
 choice of general fields of occupation4
 ,it would be the height of cruelty and 
of injustice to insist upon ,walter's   
preparing for and entering his father's 
business--just to keep up the family    
tradition--when a little attention to   
the boy's work in school and to his play
 and to his personal preferences and    
tastes would show that he was eminently 
unsuited for the business1 and at the   
same time well suited for some technical
 pursuit such as engineering4 ,untold   
misery and failure spring from our      
negligence in these matters1 no less    
than from our direction of the child's  
development in accordance with the      
parents' ambitions rather than in       
accordance with the child's discoverable
 abilities and disabilities4  ,how far  

short our ordinary training falls of    
giving our various capacities their full
 development is shown by the exquisite  
acuteness of touch and of hearing       
acquired by children who become blind in
 infancy4 ,the senses of touch and      
hearing are here developed so far beyond
 what ordinary persons ever attain that 
the belief is quite common that one who 
is defective in one sense has been      
compensated by nature with special      
capacity in the other senses4 ,as a     
matter of fact1 however1 the extreme    
development is not the result of special
 endowment or heredity1 but altogether  
the result of special training or       
environment4  ,there is a certain sense 
in which the idea of heredity impresses 
one with a paralyzing feeling of        
inevitableness4 ,when a child is born   
his sex is irrevocably fixed2 the       
character of his eyes and of his hair1  
the form of his features and the ridges 
on his finger-tips are unalterable      
except through mutilation or disease4   

,but up to a certain limit the child    
will grow just in proportion to the     
nurture that he receives4 ,and what that
 limit is we may not know until we find 
out through years of patient effort1    
through endless trying out in every     
direction4 ,he will grow farther in some
 directions than in others1 and the     
limit in each direction is the element  
of destiny supplied by heredity4 ,very  
few1 however1 reach their limit in many 
directions1 and no person has ever      
reached his limit in every direction4   
,the distance we do actually go depends1
 in practice1 altogether upon the kind  
of environment that is supplied4 ,this  
environment1 so far as the growing child
 is concerned1 is entirely within our   
control1 and we have no right to give up
 our efforts and to shift the           
responsibility to unsatisfactory        
heredity until we are quite sure that   
all has been done that suitable         
surroundings and treatment--suitable    
environment--can do4 ,we must watch and 

wait1 and work hard while we wait and   
watch4     ,,xv4  ,,freedom ,,and       
,,discipline   ,is it not strange that  
school1 which we provide for our beloved
 children for their own good1 at so     
great a cost of thought and money1      
should be so little appreciated by them8
 ,is it not strange that school1 which  
is intended to give power and freedom1  
should be looked upon by the children as
 no better than a prison--a good place  
from which to escape8  ,we grown folks  
know how valuable school and training   
and discipline are4 ,do we not sometimes
 sigh that we had not more of these     
blessings in our own childhood8 ,or that
 we did not take advantage of the little
 we had8 ,if the children only          
knew--perhaps they would not so eagerly 
seek to escape into what they vainly    
imagine to be freedom4 ,perhaps4  ,grown
 folks who have thought about the matter
 know1 of course1 that freedom is       
something different from merely being   
left alone4 ,they know that freedom is a

 state to be attained only through      
effort4 ,they know that freedom results 
from a discipline which makes a person  
the master of his impulses1 instead of  
leaving him their slave4 ,they know that
 the freedom worth striving for is      
freedom from our own caprices and moods1
 from our blindness and ignorance and   
passions4 ,it is for this reason that we
 value discipline1 quite apart from     
anything that it may contribute to our  
ability to live harmoniously with       
others1 quite apart from anything it may
 do to increase our power in an economic
 sense4  ,but if discipline is the means
 for attaining freedom1 how does it come
 about that in the past 7and for most   
people to-day7 discipline has appeared  
as a method of compelling children to do
 the right thing--until they have the   
habit8 ,how does it come about that     
discipline1 in the minds of most people1
 consists so largely of restraining     
children from doing undesirable         
acts--until they are well started into  

the safe age of discretion8 ,the reason 
seems to be that the need for discipline
 or training makes itself most quickly  
felt where children--or older           
people--infringe upon the rights of     
others1 or upon the proprieties4 ,we    
miss discipline where a child fails of  
self-restraint1 acts impulsively1 or    
loses his temper4 ,in short1 failure of 
early training is indicated wherever    
there is lack of self-control1 or a lack
 of proper application to the business  
in hand4 ,it is therefore natural that  
discipline should early take the form of
 commanding and prohibiting4  ,it is but
 a short step from this view of         
discipline to the philosophy that what  
children do spontaneously1 what they    
like to do1 must be wrong4 ,and the     
complement to this is the feeling that  
virtue and character can arise only from
 doing what is disagreeable or          
difficult4  ,but the newer studies in   
the psychology of childhood lead to a   
totally different theory of character   

formation4 ,and many experiments made in
 schools and institutions confirm these 
new theories at every point4 ,moreover1 
if we look about1 perhaps even in our   
own homes1 ,i am sure we can all find   
abundant support for the modern view4   
,the new studies have to do with the    
relation that our emotions bear to our  
activities and especially to the        
formation of habits4 ,to learn to do a  
thing1 we have known for ages1 we must  
practise continuously and uniformly4    
,but we did not know that the state of  
feelings connected with the performance 
of the act had anything to do with the  
result4 ,richard must master the scales 
in his music study4 ,these scales can be
 mastered in only one way--he must play 
them over and over and over again1 until
 he just has them4 ,but suppose ,richard
 does not care to practise the scales   
over and over and over again8 ,suppose  
that he does not care whether he ever   
masters the scales or not4 ,well1 he can
 be made to practise1 at any rate2 and  

perhaps some day he will thank his      
elders for having thus forced upon him  
the extremely valuable but unappreciated
 command of the scales4  ,but what      
happens in the course of this forced    
practise8 ,there is resentment1 and     
antagonism and a growing hatred of      
scales1 of the man who first vented     
scales1 of sloping rows of notes on the 
page of music4 ,and this resentment is  
more likely to prevent a real mastery of
 the task than the enforced practise is 
to ensure it4 ,the antagonism will1 at  
any rate1 counteract the value of the   
practise to a large degree4 ,the third  
element in the fixation of habits that  
we have heretofore too generally        
disregarded is that of satisfaction2    
this is no less important than          
regularity and frequency of action4     
,the absence of satisfaction1 to say    
nothing of the presence of opposite     
feelings1 is of itself sufficient to    
prevent effective learning1 whether of  
knowledge or of skill4 ,and when the    

opposite feelings are present1 the      
acquired act or idea tends to be pushed 
out of the system at the earliest       
opportunity4 ,it is in some such way as 
this that many specialists in the       
workings of the human mind would explain
 so much of our forgetting4 ,they say   
that we forget either because we really 
wish to forget--the facts are           
unpleasant-- or because we do not       
sufficiently care to remember--the facts
 are not sufficiently interesting1 they 
do not sufficiently concern us4  ,out of
 the psychological facts pertaining to  
the relation of the feeling state to the
 learning process and to the            
habit-forming process1 is developed the 
doctrine of interest in education4 ,the 
very name interest suggests to many that
 this must be some plan for             
sugar-coating education1 or perhaps for 
giving children only what they like4    
,and this is quite the opposite of the  
traditional view which is expressed by  
the humorist who said1 ,it does not     

matter much what you teach a boy1 so    
long as he doesn't like it4 ,but the    
idea of interest in modern psychology   
does not mean letting the child have his
 own way1 any more than discipline means
 doing only what is unpleasant or       
difficult4  ,we can see the basic truth 
at the foundation of this view in the   
age-long usage of the race1 which awards
 prizes and penalties for good actions  
and evil actions1 respectively4 ,if you 
should be asked ,why did you reward     
,maryann1 ,why did you punish ,henry2   
you would no doubt say something like   
this3 ,if we reward a child for doing   
what we approve1 he is more likely to do
 that sort of thing again2 if we punish1
 or impose unpleasant consequences1 upon
 acts that we disapprove1 such acts are 
less likely to be repeated4 ,in other   
words1 we have known right along that   
satisfaction somehow leads the child to 
repeat the conditions that brought about
 the satisfaction2 and that suffering   
somehow leads the child to avoid the    

conditions that brought about the       
suffering4  ,what the new psychology    
does here is to unify what we have      
known4 ,we say not the performance of an
 act alone will establish a habit2 not  
the repetition alone will establish it2 
not the subsequent satisfaction alone4  
,all of these factors must take part1   
and they must take part in association4 
,the feeling must accompany the act4 ,it
 is not sufficient that ,richard be     
assured that some time in the vague     
future he will derive deep satisfaction 
from being master of the scales2 he must
 somehow be made to feel a present      
concern either in what he is doing1 or a
 real interest in the outcome4 ,the time
 that is to elapse between the beginning
 of his practice and the satisfaction he
 is to receive must not be beyond the   
child's power to appreciate4  ,in our   
actual dealing with children our        
experience leads us to make use of these
 principles1 often without realizing all
 that is implied4 ,for example1 when the

 young child by your side shows signs of
 weariness1 and you still have some     
distance to go1 you try to stimulate his
 interest by telling him of the good    
things to come at journey's end4 ,if    
this does not serve your purpose1 you   
draw his attention to the bird on the   
tree only a hundred feet away1 or you   
challenge him to race with you to the   
next telegraph post4 ,and if you        
challenge him to such a race1 you are   
sensible enough to let him win it1 for  
you know very well that nothing will    
discourage him so much as defeat--that  
is1 the unpleasant feeling of failure2  
and you know that nothing will stimulate
 him quite as much as the satisfaction  
of defeating you4 ,in other words1 you  
set before him one goal after another1  
each but a small fraction of the main   
journey1 and each within the            
appreciation of the child1 and each     
offering a satisfactory conclusion that 
is readily and eagerly seized as worth  
striving for1 here and now4  ,now it may

 be asked1 what discipline is there in  
doing always what brings satisfaction8  
,how can the children ever learn to do  
the disagreeable but necessary tasks    
that make up so large a part of         
every-day living8 ,where will they ever 
learn that some things must be done1 not
 because we like to do them1 but because
 it is our duty to do them8 ,and these  
are indeed serious questions4 ,there are
 two sets of answers4 ,one of them      
consists of the results actually        
achieved in dealing with children from  
the new point of view4 ,the other is a  
challenge to make clear just what we    
mean by discipline and task and duty4   
,to take the latter first1 is it not    
true that one part of our object is in  
the form of acquired knowledge and      
acquired skill8 ,practising the scales1 
or studying the multiplication table is 
not an end in itself4 ,we require study 
and practice because we believe that the
 knowledge or the skill is worth having4
 ,now it has been shown over and over   

again that what is learned with         
satisfaction sticks2 and what is learned
 with pain is thrown overboard the first
 minute the watchman is off his guard4  
,are the names of writers with the      
titles of their books less well         
remembered by children who learn them   
through the game of ,authors than they  
are by children who might be required to
 memorize them from a catalog8 ,are the 
sums and products of numbers acquired in
 keeping scores of games less accurate  
and less permanent in the mind of the   
child than the same sums and products   
learned as school exercises8 ,is the    
skill acquired in handling tools--sewing
 costumes1 or making scenery for an     
amateur play--any less effective or less
 lasting than the skill acquired in     
sewing yards of stitches or sawing yards
 of board just for exercise in a class8 
,on the contrary1 other things being    
equal1 arithmetic and authors and sewing
 and tinkering can be made both more    
effective and more lasting when         

associated with pleasurable feelings    
than when performed under strain1       
compulsion and resentment4 ,if it is    
only a question of learning this or     
that1 there is no doubt that the        
pleasant way is in every respect the    
better way4  ,but1 of course1 it is not 
merely a question of learning the       
specific skill or knowledge4 ,there is  
also the need for learning application1 
persistence through difficulties1       
endurance1 and the other hardy virtues  
that distinguish a disciplined          
character4 ,and here the contrast       
between the old attitude and the new is 
most marked4 ,we can certainly force    
children to do what is disagreeable2 we 
can hold them to their tasks when they  
are tempted to abandon the monotonous   
and wearisome round of uninteresting    
drudgery4 ,but is this the only way to  
get for the children experience with    
such necessary1 though unpleasant1 work8
 ,we are assuming of course that such   
experience is necessary1 since          

uninteresting work cannot be separated  
from most important undertakings4 ,a    
typical experience in a school that has 
for several years conducted a class     
along the lines of the newer psychology 
can answer our question4  ,one of the   
difficulties that had to be overcome was
 the mastery of simple addition4        
,another was the art of writing2 and of 
course reading is a necessary art of    
modern life4 ,instead of the usual drill
 and practice and exercises1 this class 
passed through the drudgery stage       
without realizing that school was a     
prison4 ,this was during the autumn of  
the ,armistice4 ,food conservation and  
thrift were in the air4 ,these children 
were presented with a quantity of garden
 vegetables1 but there was more than    
they could use themselves1 so the       
suggestion was made that they could have
 the surplus for future use4 ,the       
children1 under guidance1 did all the   
work connected with cold-pack canning of
 the tomatoes4 ,this work was not at    

every point interesting1 in the         
superficial sense2 but the purpose of   
the entire project was one that appealed
 to the children1 so that they were     
quite satisfied to do the many essential
 details4 ,did they not here learn to   
clean their dishes and jars as well as  
they would have done had the cleaning   
been a duty imposed arbitrarily from    
above8 ,must drudgery be dreaded to be  
well done8  ,let the teacher who had    
charge of this class describe what      
happened1 in her own words4  ,the       
success of the first small group in     
carrying through the various steps 444  
led to further work of the same sort1 as
 various vegetables were given us4 ,the 
children also dried apples and lima     
beans which they gathered themselves at 
the school farm4  ,that the interest in 
this rather exacting work was sustained 
for two months was doubtless due to the 
fact that the children had a genuine    
purpose in canning a large quantity of  
vegetables4 ,for early in the work1 upon

 the suggestion of one of the class1 it 
had been decided to have a sale and use 
the proceeds to buy milk for a sick     
baby4 ,although ,i had not thought of   
this plan myself1 ,i was glad to lend it
 my support4  ,the final preparation for
 the sale occupied a large share of the 
time for several weeks4 ,the chief      
consideration from the children's point 
of view seemed to be who should take    
charge of the business of selling4 ,they
 had conducted a play store             
intermittently during the fall1 but1    
upon testing1 it was found that most of 
the class were ill prepared to act as   
salespeople4,a ,the children readily    
recognized this fact and willingly went 
to work to drill on addition and        
subtraction4 ,the most successful drill 
was accomplished by means of a dramatic 
rehearsal of the forthcoming sale1 some 
children impersonating the visitors and 
the others the salesmen4 ,real money1   
correct prices1 and the actual jars of  
vegetables and fruit were used for this 

play4  ,footnote ,a3 ,remember these    
were second-grade children--most of them
 seven or eight years old4  ,the need of
 invitations1 of price lists1 and of    
bookkeepers the day of the sale1 was    
also recognized and led to much needed  
practice in written ,english4 ,the      
prices were determined by a study of the
 latest food catalog1 a small group with
 a teacher undertaking this work4 ,it   
necessitated the use of an alphabetical 
index1 and in some cases the calculation
 of the price of pints1 when only quarts
 were listed1 as we had used both pint  
and quart jars4  ,further preparation   
consisted of the making of labels for   
the jars and of posters for the room4   
,the art teacher1 when called in to     
advise1 taught the children how to make 
accurate square letters1 which they used
 in various sizes for the labels and    
posters4 ,the making of fifty or more   
small labels with half-inch letters     
proved irksome to the little people1 but
 they showed much persistence in        

completing the task1 because of their   
interest in the sale4 ,the eight        
children who made the final large       
posters did a great deal of intelligent1
 painstaking work4 ,from the artistic   
point of view1 the posters were not     
noteworthy1 but they represented the    
children's own suggestions4  ,the sale  
was conducted by the children1 who made 
their own change1 kept records of sales 
and wrapped up purchases4 ,the various  
duties were agreed upon by the class1 in
 accordance with each one's proved      
ability to carry them out1 and everyone 
had some share4  ,in this simple account
 of an experimental class conducted at  
the ,ethical ,culture ,school1 in ,new  
,york1 under the direction of ,miss     
,mabel ,r4 ,goodlander1 are many        
references to drill and practice4 ,but  
throughout all of the work it was       
possible to maintain the interest of the
 children because1 apparently1 the      
attention was not on the drill as an end
 in itself1 but upon the special skill  

or knowledge as a means to a more remote
 end4 ,and this remote end was not the  
formal one of passing1 or being         
promoted1 or getting a good mark1 but   
the vital1 urgent purpose of raising    
money through the sale for a sick baby's
 milk4 ,undoubtedly the motives of the  
several children in this class were     
varied and mixed--like the motives of   
good citizens who are united in support 
of a particular candidate1 or a         
particular platform4 ,but there was     
enough common purpose to insure         
cooperation and persistence and effort  
from every single child in proportion to
 his ability4 ,the learning of stupid   
sums and the practice in penmanship are 
no more attractive to these children    
than they are to ordinary children in   
ordinary schools in all parts of the    
country4 ,but they overcame all internal
 obstacles1 went through with all of the
 monotony and drudgery1 and to that     
extent triumphed over any disposition to
 shirk or to loaf or to dawdle or to    

flit from work to sensation4  ,and how  
is it with the learning of              
responsibility1 with acquiring a sense  
of duty8 ,many of us have no doubt      
learned what we have learned of duty and
 responsibility1 through the constant   
repetition of ,thou shalt and ,thou     
shalt not by our elders during our own  
growing years4 ,but results at least as 
valuable have been obtained in the cases
 of others through the constant rubbing 
up against their equals in a free       
give-and-take atmosphere4 ,children     
learn to live with others by living with
 others4 ,they learn to work with       
others--to cooperate--by working with   
others4 ,they learn to play the game1 to
 do teamwork1 to play fair1 to play in  
good form1 to hit hard only by playing  
according to rule1 with others1 with    
worthy opponents1 under good            
supervision4 ,in short1 the discipline  
that makes for power and freedom may be 
quite as easily obtained through the    
exercise of freedom as through external 

coercion--nay1 more easily1 and more    
effectively4  ,it is fair to ask whether
 training for a game is not quite       
analogous to our idea of training for   
life2 and whether the methods which are 
found to be effective in the former kind
 of training are not equally valuable   
for the latter4 ,assuming the analogy1  
would you have a child learn the rules  
of such games as baseball or tennis from
 a book before allowing him to handle a 
ball1 or before letting him see a game8 
,would you expect him to cooperate in   
teamwork after a long period of drill   
upon the rules governing team           
cooperation8 ,would you expect him to   
hit hard because he has learned the     
correct answer to the question1 ,how    
should a player hit8  ,this may not seem
 a fair comparison to some of the       
training that has actually been tried4  
,perhaps a more familiar analogy would  
be in teaching a child correct movements
 for the game to be mastered1 separated 
from any experience with real games4    

,boys are practicing for a game1 and    
each one is drilling on some special    
detail1 hitting1 catching1 running      
bases1 long throws1 or what not2 each   
one of them has in mind as part of his  
moving purpose not only his team's      
success and glory1 but his own          
individual responsibility4 ,contrast    
this with the same boys required to     
drill at precisely the same movements on
 the theory that the exercise will do   
them good1 or that some time in the     
future they might have to meet a        
situation in which a long throw or a    
swift run would be significant4 ,do you 
expect the same enthusiasm and energy to
 be developed in both cases8 ,and if not
 the same enthusiasm and energy1 can we 
expect the same results--whether we view
 the results as so much skill or        
technic1 whether we view the results as 
so much training in drudgery1 or whether
 we consider the results from the       
viewpoint of moral values as so much    
devotion1 self-sacrifice1 restraint8    

,the moral values that have been for    
years attributed to athletics appear    
after all to be the effects of intense1 
enthusiastic1 and interested            
participation in teamwork--that is1 in  
purposeful and energetic concern with   
joint undertakings4  ,the               
responsibilities we wish to develop1 the
 sense of duty1 no less than the        
application and persistence1 no less    
than knowledge and skill1 are types of  
habits which are best formed under the  
glow of satisfying experience4 ,far from
 assuming a soft life for the child1 the
 idea of interest assumes the most      
strenuous kind of life4 ,and the        
experiences of all who have tried it    
justifies the assumption4 ,the          
experimental class already mentioned1   
similar experiments by ,mrs4 ,marietta  
,johnson at ,fairhope1 ,alabama and     
elsewhere1 experimental classes at the  
,lincoln ,school and at the ,horace     
,mann ,school1 at various play schools  
in this country and in ,england1 all    

show more continuous application of the 
children to whatever they happen to have
 in hand1 longer periods of intense     
activity1 and no sign whatever of       
loafing or shirking4 ,the activities    
selected by the children themselves     
involve just as much discipline as      
anything that can be selected for them4 
,in these schools the children never    
hear the teacher call for attention1 for
 although everybody knows that attention
 is an essential of effective work1 the 
attention takes care of itself where the
 children already feel a genuine concern
 in the outcome4 ,and this concern      
insures satisfactory application1 since 
the children look forward to satisfying 
results4 ,this does not mean1 of course1
 that either the work itself or the     
result is necessarily pleasant1 in the  
ordinary sense4 ,often1 indeed1 it is   
quite the reverse1 as when the racer is 
exerting every last reserve of his      
energy in the final spurt1 or when the  
contestants are in suspense awaiting the

 decision of the judges as to which is  
the best cake4 ,and the endless grind of
 practice and preparation is no more    
pleasant to the child who knows the     
purpose and approves the purpose of his 
efforts 7having taken part in selecting 
the undertaking7 than similar exertion  
is to the child whose work is all       
planned and directed by outsiders2 but  
the satisfactions connected with the    
exertions are different in the two      
cases1 and the corresponding results are
 correspondingly different4  ,the       
principle of interest as a guide to the 
training of children can be applied in  
the home as well as in the school4 ,it  
means1 first of all1 taking into account
 the interests1 tastes1 preferences of  
the children4 ,as has already been      
suggested in earlier chapters1 there are
 many occasions when the child may be   
consulted or given a choice of action1  
of amusements1 of purchases1 and so     
on--situations in which it is a matter  
of indifference to older people1 but in 

which the making of a decision or a     
choice is both satisfying and valuable  
to the child4 ,even where the decision  
is not an indifferent one1 our own      
should not be imposed in an arbitrary   
manner2 when it differs from that of the
 child1 we can get his assent and       
cooperation1 where an arbitrary choice  
leaves him cold or even resentful4  ,the
 games children play1 whether by        
themselves or with other children1 are  
only in part manifestations of tastes3  
they represent to a degree stages of    
development4 ,for the reason1 therefore1
 that interests develop1 we shall find  
that what is a favorable time for one   
child is not necessarily a favorable    
time for another child to learn a       
particular thing4 ,this is very well    
shown by the great differences found    
among children1 as to learning school   
subjects like reading or writing4 ,in   
some the interest is aroused very early1
 and for them this is the best time2    
with others the interest does not appear

 until the third or fourth grade1 or    
even later1 and for such children this  
is the best time4 ,there is no one      
period that is best for all children2 by
 attempting to treat all alike1         
therefore1 we not only waste a great    
deal of energy and good feeling1 but we 
often defeat our purpose by antagonizing
 the children and thus making them      
resist the very things we want them to  
hug to themselves4 ,and this is just as 
true of what we try to do in the home as
 it is of school teaching4  ,to discover
 the interests of the children requires 
that they be given an opportunity to    
express themselves4 ,this means in most 
cases much more freedom than children   
have heretofore enjoyed4 ,but it means  
also constant vigilance on the part of  
the elders1 not so much to guard against
 the freedom being abused1 as to guard  
against the opportunity being wasted4   
,the taste in games or in reading1 the  
choice of companions or of leisure time 
occupations must not only show          

themselves to be indulged2 they must be 
seized upon by those who guide the      
children1 as means for giving drive and 
direction to further development4 ,a    
child who devotes too much time to      
athletics and too little to literature1 
may be drawn to reading through books   
about athletic contests of the classics1
 or through modern stories of college   
life4 ,on the other hand1 the boy who is
 prone to get his satisfactions         
vicariously and to neglect active       
participation in games and other        
activities1 must be led through his     
reading1 properly selected and          
unostentatiously placed under his nose1 
to more direct concern with producing   
practical effects in his environment4   
,the interest1 once discovered1 must be 
the means for stimulating to greater    
exertion and to closer unification of   
the child's activities4  ,one of the    
things that presents a difficulty in    
every generation is the fact that the   
social and moral ideals change from age 

to age4 ,we are thus constantly tempted 
to put into the characters of our       
children those traits that were valued  
highly by our parents1 without always   
considering the importance of each item 
for the days in which our children will 
play their parts4 ,thus it comes about  
that many of the virtues that have a    
traditional value may be questioned when
 offered as staples for citizens of     
to-morrow4 ,obedience1 for example1 is a
 permanent necessity in a society that  
rests upon the assumption that one or a 
few chosen men represent the will of the
 gods on earth1 but has only a          
transitory value in a democracy4 ,as    
someone has said1 obedience in childhood
 must be considered as a scaffold that  
is useful while the lasting parts of the
 structure are being put in place2 when 
the desired structure is completed1     
obedience is naturally removed as of no 
further service4 ,now the kind of       
discipline required in a democracy calls
 for an attitude or disposition that    

makes cooperation with others come as a 
matter of course2 it calls for the      
making of decisions1 or the forming of  
opinions1 on the basis of facts2 and it 
calls for the habit of taking due       
account of the rights of others4 ,the   
training for this class of habits is    
best obtained through methods that take 
full account of children's interests4   
,just as the older outlook turned to    
discipline as a means for obtaining     
freedom1 the new psychology utilizes    
freedom as a means for obtaining        
discipline4 ,in both cases the end is of
 course the same--that is1 the          
liberation of the human spirit and the  
organizing of the individual's powers to
 the greatest good4 ,but as our ideas of
 human relations and of values have     
changed1 science has given us new       
methods for attaining the final goals   
that we set ourselves4