,,the ,,young ,,woman',s ,,guide by ,william ,a4 ,alcott ,illustration3 ,retirement1 rural quiet1 friendship1 books1 ,ease and alternate labour1 useful life1 ,progressive virtue1 and approving ,heaven6 ,thomson ,,preface4 ,this work was begun1 soon after the appearance of the ,young ,man's ,guide--and was partially announced to the public4 ,for reasons1 however1 which ,i have not room to give in this place1 it was thought proper to defer its publication till the appearance of several other volumes in the same spirit1 involving more particularly the relative duties4 ,i wish to have it distinctly understood1 that ,i do not propose to give a complete manual of the social and moral duties of young women4 ,every one has his own way of looking at things1 and ,i have mine4 ,some of the duties of young women have appeared to me to receive from other writers less attention than their comparative importance demands2 and others--especially those which are connected with the great subject of temperance in all things--,i have believed to be treated1 in several respects1 erroneously4 ,permit me1 however1 to say1 that while ,i have not intended to follow the path1 or repeat the ideas of any other writer1 ,i have not attempted to avoid either the one or the other4 ,if ,i have presented here and there a thought which had already come before the public from my own pen1 ,i can only say that ,i did not intend it1 although ,i did not take special pains to avoid it4 ,the sum is this4 ,i have presented my thoughts1 without so much reference to what has already been said by myself or others1 as to what ,i have supposed to be the necessities of those for whom ,i write4 ,i have gone straight forward1 asking no questions2 and ,i trust ,i shall be dealt with in a manner equally direct4 ,,contents4 ,,chapter ,i4 ,,explanation ,,of ,,terms4 ,defining terms4 ,the word excellence here used as nearly synonymous with holiness4 ,what is meant by calling the work a ,guide4 ,the term ,woman--why preferable1 as a general term1 to ,lady4 ,the class to whom this work is best adapted4 ,,chapter ,,ii4 ,,female ,,responsibilities4 ,comparison of the responsibilities of young men and young women4 ,saying of ,dr4 ,rush4 ,its application to young women4 ,definition of the term education4 ,bad and good education4 ,opinions of ,solomon4 ,influence of a young woman in a family--in a school4 ,anecdotes of female influence4 ,west1 ,alexander1 ,csar1 ,franklin4 ,story of a domestic in ,boston4 ,the good she is doing4 ,special influence of young women in families--and as sisters4 ,female influence in the renovation of the world4 ,,chapter ,,iii4 ,,self-,,education4 ,views of ,agesilaus1 king of ,sparta--of ,solomon1 king of ,israel4 ,mistake corrected4 ,what the wisest and best parents cannot do4 ,what1 therefore1 remains to the daughter4 ,necessity of self-education4 ,the work of self education the work of life--a never-ending progress upward to the throne of ,god4 ,,chapter ,,iv4 ,,love ,,of ,,improvement4 ,female capabilities4 ,doing every thing in the best possible manner4 ,unending progress4 ,every person and every occupation susceptible of improvement1 indefinitely4 ,doing well what is before us4 ,anecdote illustrative of this principle4 ,personal duties4 ,two great classes of persons described4 ,hopes of reaching the ears of the selfish4 ,,chapter ,v4 ,,self-,,knowledge4 ,vast extent of the science of self-knowledge4 ,spurious self-knowledge4 ,knowledge of our physical frame--its laws and relations4 ,examples of the need of this knowledge4 ,instruments of obtaining it4 ,the use of lectures4 ,study of our peculiarities4 ,study of mental philosophy4 ,the ,bible4 ,how the ,bible should be studied4 ,,chapter ,,vi4 ,,conscientiousness4 ,is there any conscientiousness in the world8 ,how far conscientiousness should extend4 ,tendency and power of habit4 ,evils of doing incessantly what we know to be wrong4 ,why we do this4 ,errors of early education4 ,false standard of right and wrong4 ,bad method of family discipline4 ,palsy of the moral sensibilities4 ,particular direction in regard to the education of conscience4 ,results which may be expected4 ,,chapter ,,vii4 ,,self-,,government4 ,what self-government includes4 ,cheerfulness a duty4 ,discretion4 ,modesty4 ,diffidence4 ,courage4 ,vigilance4 ,thoughts and feelings4 ,the affections4 ,the temper4 ,the appetites and passions4 ,,chapter ,,viii4 ,,self-,,command4 ,presence of mind4 ,examples4 ,napoleon4 ,female example4 ,mrs4 ,merrill4 ,use of the anecdote4 ,self-command to be cultivated4 ,in what manner4 ,consult the experience of others4 ,consult your own reason and good sense4 ,daily practice in the art of self-command4 ,,chapter ,,ix4 ,,decision ,,of ,,character4 ,decision of character as important to young women as to others4 ,why it is so4 ,illustration of the subject by a ,scripture anecdote4 ,misery and danger of indecision4 ,how to reform4 ,perseverance4 ,errors of modern education4 ,,chapter ,x4 ,,self-,,dependence4 ,fashionable education4 ,why there is so little self-dependence in the world4 ,why orphans sometimes make out well in the world4 ,error corrected4 ,what young women once were4 ,what they are now4 ,the best character formed under difficulties4 ,cause of the present helpless condition of females4 ,three or four to get breakfast4 ,modes of breaking up these habits4 ,anecdote of an independent young woman4 ,appeal to the reader4 ,,chapter ,,xi4 ,,reasoning ,,and ,,originality4 ,females not expected to be reasoners4 ,effects of modern education on the reasoning powers4 ,education of former days1 illustrated by an anecdote of an octogenarian4 ,extracts from her correspondence4 ,difficulty in getting the ears of mankind4 ,the reasoning powers in man susceptible of cultivation indefinitely4 ,reflections on the importance of maternal effort and female education4 ,,chapter ,,xii4 ,,invention4 ,why woman has invented so few things4 ,abundant room for the exercise of her inventive powers4 ,hints4 ,particular need of a reform in cookery4 ,appeal to young women on this subject4 ,,chapter ,,xiii4 ,,observation ,,and ,,reflection4 ,advice of ,dr4 ,dwight4 ,other counsels to the young4 ,some persons of both sexes are always seeing1 but never reflecting4 ,an object deserving of pity4 ,zimmerman's views4 ,reading to get rid of reflection4 ,worse things still4 ,,chapter ,,xiv4 ,,detraction ,,and ,,scandal4 ,universal prevalence of detraction and slander4 ,proofs4 ,shakspeare4 ,burns the poet4 ,self-knowledge1 how much to be desired4 ,reference to the work of ,mrs4 ,opie--to our own hearts--to the ,bible4 ,,chapter ,,xv4 ,,the ,,right ,,use ,,of ,,time4 ,great value of moments4 ,an old maxim4 ,wasting shreds of time4 ,time more valuable than money4 ,what are the most useful charities4 ,doing good by proxy4 ,value of time for reflection4 ,doing nothing4 ,rendering an account of our time at the last tribunal4 ,,chapter ,,xvi4 ,,love ,,of ,,domestic ,,concerns4 ,reasons for loving domestic life4 #a4 ,young women should have some avocation4 ,labor regarded as drudgery4 #b4 ,domestic employment healthy4 #c4 ,it is pleasant4 #d4 ,it affords leisure for intellectual improvement4 #e4 ,it is favorable to social improvement4 #f4 ,it is the employment assigned them by ,divine ,providence1 and is eminently conducive to moral improvement4--,the moral lessons of domestic life4 ,a well ordered home a miniature of heaven4 ,,chapter ,,xvii4 ,,frugality ,,and ,,economy4 ,economy becoming old fashioned4 ,the ,creator's example4 ,frugality and economy should be early inculcated4 ,spending two pence to save one1 not always wrong4 ,examples of disregarding economy4 ,wasting small things4 ,good habits as well as bad ones1 go by companies4 ,this chapter particularly necessary to the young4 ,frugality and economy of our grandmothers4 ,,chapter ,,xviii4 ,,system4 ,general neglect of system in families4 ,successful efforts of a few schools4 ,why the effects they produce are not permanent4 ,importance of right education4 ,here and there system maybe found4 ,blessedness of having a mother who is systematic4 ,let no person ever despair of reformation4 ,how to begin the work4 ,,chapter ,,xix4 ,,punctuality4 ,evil of being one minute too late4 ,examples to illustrate the importance of punctuality4 ,case of a mother at ,lowell4 ,her adventure4 ,general habits which led to such a disaster4 ,condition of a family trained to despise punctuality4 ,,chapter ,,xx4 ,,exercise4 ,the muscles1 or moving power of the body4 ,their number and character4 ,philosophy and necessity of exercise4 ,why young women should study these4 ,various kinds of exercise4 #a4 ,walking4 #b4 ,gardening and agriculture4 #c4 ,house-keeping4 #d4 ,riding4 #e4 ,local exercises4--,difficulty of drawing the public attention to this subject4 ,the slavery of fashion4 ,consequences of the fashionable neglect of exercise4 ,a common but shocking sight4 ,,chapter ,,xxi4 ,,rest ,,and ,,sleep4 ,why rest and sleep are neglected4 ,sleep a condition4 ,we should sleep in the night4 ,moral tendency of not doing so4 ,is there any moral character in such things8 ,of rest without sleep4 ,good habits is regard to sleep4 ,apartments for sleep4 ,air4 ,bed4 ,covering4 ,temperature4 ,night clothing4 ,advice of ,macnish on the number of persons to a bed4 ,preparation for sleep4 ,suppers4 ,the more on indulge in sleep1 the more sleep we seem to require4 ,the reader urged to study the laws of rest and sleep4 ,an appeal4 ,,chapter ,,xxii4 ,,industry4 ,education to industry4 ,man naturally a lazy animal4 ,indolence in females4 ,hybernation4 ,every young woman ought to be trained to support herself1 should necessity require it1 and to aid in supporting others4 ,she should1 at least1 be always industrious4 ,kinds of labor1 ,mental labor as truly valuable as bodily4 ,,chapter ,,xxiii4 ,,visiting4 ,is there no time for relaxation8 ,may there not be passive enjoyments8 ,passive enjoyments sometimes wrong4 ,how ,christian visits should be conducted4 ,duty and pleasure compatible4 ,passive visits useful to childhood4 ,folly of morning calls and evening parties4 ,bible doctrine of visiting4 ,abuse of visiting4 ,,chapter ,,xxiv4 ,,manners4 ,miss ,sedgwick on good manners4 ,her complaint4 ,just views of good manners4 ,good manners the natural accompaniment of an good heart4 ,the ,bible the best book on manners4 ,illustrations of the subject4 ,,chapter ,,xxv4 ,,health ,,and ,,beauty4 ,dr4 ,bell's new work on ,health and ,beauty4 ,its value4 ,adam and ,eve probably very beautiful4 ,primitive beauty of our race to be yet restored4 ,sin the cause of present ugliness4 ,never too late to reform4 ,opinion of ,dr4 ,rush4 ,an important principle4 ,the doctrine of human perfectibility disavowed4 ,various causes of ugliness4 ,obedience to law1 natural and moral1 the true source of beauty4 ,indecency and immorality of neglecting cleanliness4 ,,chapter ,,xxvi4 ,,neatness ,,and ,,cleanliness4 ,reasons for discussing these topics4 ,every person should undergo a thorough ablution once a day4 ,quotation from ,mrs4 ,farrar4 ,two important objects gained by cold bathing4 ,its value as an exercise4 ,various forms of bathing4 ,philosophy of this subject4 ,vast amount of dirt accumulating on the surface4 ,statement of ,mr4 ,buckingham4 ,bathing necessary in all employments4 ,offices of the skin1 and evil consequences of keeping it in an uncleanly condition4 ,,chapter ,,xxvii ,,dress ,,and ,,ornament4 ,legitimate purposes of dress--as a covering1 a regulator of temperature1 and a defence4 ,use of ornaments4 ,further thoughts on dress4 ,how clothing keeps us warm4 ,errors in regard to the material1 quality1 and form of our dress4 ,tight lacing--its numerous evils4 ,improvement of the lungs by education4 ,objections to the use of personal ornaments4 ,,chapter ,,xxviii4 ,,dosing ,,and ,,drugging4 ,tendency of young women to dosing and drugging4 ,nervousness4 ,qualms of the stomach4 ,eating between our meals--its mischiefs4 ,evils of more direct dosing4 ,what organs are injured4 ,confectionery4 ,the danger from quacks and quackery4 ,,chapter ,,xxix4 ,,taking ,,care ,,of ,,the ,,sick4 ,the art of taking care of the sick should be a part of female education4 ,five reasons for this4 ,doing good4 ,doing good by proxy4 ,great value of personal services4 ,how can young women be trained to these services8 ,contagion4 ,breathing bad air4 ,aged nurses4 4 ,scientific instruction of nurses4 ,visiting and taking care of the sick a religious duty4 ,appeal to young women4 ,,chapter ,,xxx4 ,,intellectual ,,improvement4 ,futility of the question whether woman is or is not inferior to man4 ,conversation as a means of improvement4 ,taciturnity and loquacity4 ,seven rules in regard to conversation4 ,reading another means of mental progress4 ,thoughts on a perverted taste4 ,choosing the evil and refusing the good4 ,advice of parents1 teachers1 ministers c4 ,advice of a choice friend4 ,young people reluctant to be advised4 ,set hours for reading4 ,reading too much4 ,reading but a species of talking4 ,composition4 ,common mistakes about composing4 ,attempt to set the matter right4 ,journalizing4 ,how a journal should be kept4 ,music4 ,vocal music something more than a mere accomplishment4 ,lectures and concerts4 ,studies4 ,keys of knowledge4 ,,chapter ,,xxxi4 ,,social ,,improvement4 ,improvement in a solitary state4 ,the social relations4 ,mother and daughter4 ,father and daughter4 ,brother and sister4 ,the elder sister4 ,brethren and sisters of the great human family4 ,the family constitution4 ,character of ,fidelia4 ,her resolutions of celibacy4 ,in what cases the latter is a duty4 ,a new and interesting relation4 ,selection with reference to it4 ,principles by which to be governed in making a selection4 ,evils of a hasty or ill-judged selection4 ,counsellors4 ,anecdote of an unwise one4 ,great caution to be observed4 ,direction to be sought at the throne of grace4 ,,chapter ,,xxxii4 ,,moral ,,progress4 ,importance of progress4 ,physical improvement a means rather than an end4 ,the same true of intellectual improvement4 ,the general homage which is paid to inoffensiveness4 ,picture of a modern ,christian family4 ,measuring ourselves by others4 ,our ,saviour the only true standard of comparison4 ,importance of self-denial and self-sacrifice4 ,blessedness of communicating4 ,young women urged to emancipate themselves from the bondage of fashion1 and custom1 and selfishness4 ,,the ,,young ,,woman',s ,,guide4 ,,chapter ,i4 ,,explanation ,,of ,,terms4 ,defining terms4 ,the word excellence here used as nearly synonym with holiness4 ,what is meant by calling the work a ,guide4 ,the term ,woman--why preferable1 as a general term1 to ,lady4 ,the class to whom this work is best adapted4 ,it has been said1 and with no little truth1 that a large proportion of the disputes in the world might have been avoided1 had the disputants first settled the meaning of the terms they respectively used4 ,in like manner might a large share of the misapprehension and error in the world be avoided1 if those who attempt to teach1 would first explain their terms4 ,this work is called ,the ,young ,woman's ,guide to ,,excellence1 because it is believed that excellence1 rather than happiness1 should be the leading aim of every human being4 ,i am not ignorant that happiness--present and future--is proposed as our being's end and aim1 not only by as distinguished a poet as ,alexander ,pope1 but also by as distinguished a philosopher as ,william ,paley4 ,but these men did not learn in the school of ,christ1 that our beings end and aim is happiness1 present or future4 ,the ,christian religion1 no less than ,christian philosophy and sound common sense1 teaches that holiness or excellence should be the leading aim of mankind4 ,not that the recompense of reward1 to which the best men of the world have had regard in all their conduct1 is to be wholly overlooked1 but only that it should not be too prominent in the mind's eye1 and too exclusively the soul's aim2 since it would thus be but a more refined and more elevated selfishness4 ,real excellence brings happiness along with it4 ,like godliness--which1 indeed1 is the same thing--it has the promise of the life that now is1 and of that which is to come4 ,and that happiness which is attainable without personal excellence or holiness1 is either undeserved or spurious4 ,the world4 ,i know1 very generally seek after it1 whether deserved or undeserved2 and whether willing or not to pay the price4 ,my object is to assist1 if ,i can1 in removing from our world the error of seeking happiness as a primary object4 ,let us but pursue excellence1 and happiness will almost inevitably follow4 ,i address this exhortation to ,young ,women1 in particular1 for reasons which will be seen when ,i come1 in the next chapter1 to speak of female responsibilities4 ,let every young woman aspire to high degrees of purity and excellence4 ,let her great aim be1 to be personally holy--like ,god her ,saviour4 ,to this end and with this aim1 let her be ready to set aside1 if necessary1 father and mother1 and brother and sister--yes1 and her own life also1--assured that if she does it with a sacred regard to ,god and duty1 all will be well4 ,let her but follow ,christ according to the gospel plan1 if it lead her to prison and to death4 ,but it will not thus lead her4 ,for every self-denial or self-sacrifice it involves1 she will secure1 as a general rule1 manifold more in this present life1 and in the world to come1 life everlasting4 ,this book is not called ,the ,young ,woman's ,,guide1 with the expectation that she will consider it her only or even her principal guide4 ,the ,bible should be the principal guide of every person1 young or old1 male or female4 ,parents1 also1 are invaluable as guides4 ,i offer it only as the best guide which my reflections upon those subjects1 connected with the welfare of young women1 that come within the department of my study and observation1 enable me to give4 ,may it prove a guide indeed6 ,i have called it ,the ,young ,,woman',s ,guide1 because there are many who are accustomed to associate with the word lady2 the idea of exemption from labor1 and of entire devotion to something supposed to be above it--as fashionable company1 or fashionable dress and equipage4 ,and not a few can hardly hear the word mentioned without disgust4 ,miss ,sedgwick has illustrated this part of my subject very happily in the first and fifteenth chapters of her ,means and ,ends4 ,she says she does not write exclusively for those who are termed young ladies2 because she does not believe in any such fixed class1 in the country4 ,the term lady1 she also says1 is too indefinite for any valuable use4 ,we not only apply it to those who are1 or would be1 above labor1 but in a great many other ways--as that old lady1 meaning1 perhaps1 some beggar at the door1 c4 ,in short1 she does not like the use of the phrase1 young lady1 at all4 ,neither do ,i4 ,besides1 ,i like best the good old fashioned term1 ,,young ,,woman4 ,this exactly represents the class for whom ,i write1 and that1 too1 without either explanation or qualification4 ,it will be mistaken by no one1 nor will it be likely to give or cause any offence4 ,finally1 ,i call the work ,the ,,young ,woman's ,guide1 because ,i design it for those single persons of the female sex to whom the term young is usually applied2 viz41 those who are from twelve or fourteen to eighteen or twenty years of age--and to those1 in general1 who are single4 ,i hope1 nevertheless1 that it will contain some thoughts which may be useful to those individuals who are in married life1 as well as to those who are below the age of twelve years4 ,many of its suggestions and principles will1 indeed1 be applicable--so far as they are just or true--to all mankind4 ,,chapter ,,ii4 ,,female ,,responsibilities4 ,comparison of the responsibilities of young men and young women4 ,saying of ,dr4 ,rush4 ,its application to young women4 ,definition of the term education4 ,bad and good education4 ,opinions of ,solomon4 ,influence of a young woman in a family--in a school4 ,anecdotes of female influence4 ,west1 ,alexander1 ,csar1 ,franklin4 ,story of a domestic in ,boston4 ,the good she is doing4 ,special influence of young women in families--and as sisters4 ,female influence in the renovation of the world4 ,much has been said1 within a few years1 of the duties1 responsibilities1 c41 of young men1 especially the young men of our republic4 ,a great deal that has been said1 has1 in my view1 been appropriate and well-timed4 ,my own attention has been frequently turned to the same class of individuals2 nor do ,i regret it4 ,my only regret is1 that what ,i have said1 has not been said to better purpose4 ,counsels and cautions to young men1 standing on slippery places as they confessedly do1 can hardly be too numerous1 provided those who give them1 use discretion1 and remember their responsibility1 not only to the tribunal of public opinion1 but to a tribunal still higher4 ,the snares1 the dangers1 the difficulties1 the influence1 the responsibilities of young men--at least in the ,united ,states--can hardly be overrated4 ,would that they could be so trained and directed as fully to understand them1 and govern themselves accordingly6 ,would that they could be made to exert that moral influence in the salvation of our race--politically no less than morally1 nationally no less than individually--of which they are so capable4 ,yet1 after every concession of this kind1 ,i am compelled to believe that the responsibilities and influence of young women--to say nothing at present of their dangers--are much more weighty than those of young men4 ,i am decidedly of opinion1 that the future holiness and happiness of the world in which we live1 depend much more on the character of the rising generation of the female sex1 than on the character of our young men4 ,it was said by ,dr4 ,rush1 long ago1 that mothers and school-masters plant the seeds of nearly all the good and evil in our world4 ,presuming that by school-masters he meant teachers of both sexes1 will any one doubt the truth of his assertion8 ,will any one doubt the justness of a remark in the late ,western ,review1 that if this world is ever to become a better and a happier world1 woman must be foremost1 if not the principal agent in rendering it so8 ,but as mothers are never mothers till they have been daughters1 is it not obvious that the right education of these last is as great a work as any to which human mind and human effort have ever been called8 ,if woman moves the world1 intellectually1 morally1 and even1 in effect1 politically--as no doubt she does--is it not of primary importance that she be taught1 as well as teach herself1 to move it right8 ,can it be necessary to advert1 in this place1 to the well known and acknowledged fact1 that almost every man of extensive influence1 for good or for evil1 whom the world has produced1 became what he was through maternal influence8 ,csar1 and ,caligula1 and ,talleyrand1 and ,napoleon1 became what they were in consequence of their mothers1 no less than ,alfred1 and ,doddridge1 and ,howard1 and ,washington4 ,for let it not be forgotten that mothers and teachers1 according to ,dr4 ,rush--and1 in fact1 according to common observation1 too--plant the seeds of the world of evil no less than of the world of good4 ,how exceedingly important1 then1 that they should be well educated1 from whom1 in the language of another writer1 our virtues are1 and from whom our vices may be--we would add must be--derived2 at least in no small proportion6 ,but ,i am using the term education without explaining it4 ,let me1 then1 ere ,i proceed to say more on the subject of female responsibility1 explain what ,i mean by education1 especially female education4 ,mere instruction in the sciences is1 indeed1 education2 it is1 however1 but a very small part of it4 ,to educate1 is to train up4 ,in this view1 all are of course educated2 and every thing which has an influence in developing mind or body1 and in training up1 either for good or for evil1 is entitled1 justly1 to the name of education4 ,but if the above definition be just--if whatever concerns our development1 or the formation of any part of our character1 physical1 intellectual1 social or moral1 is education--then it must follow that there are two kinds of education1 bad and good4 ,all persons1 places and things1 which affect us 7and what does not affect us87 and influence us1 for good or for evil1 must educate us4 ,i am aware that this definition is not new3 still1 it is not generally received1 or if received1 not generally acted upon4 ,there is still an almost universal clinging to the old1 inadequate1 incorrect idea1 that the principal part of education consists in the cultivation of the intellect2 and that1 too1 by set lessons2 received1 for the most part1 at the schools4 ,the true idea of education1 therefore1 must be continually enforced1 till it becomes common property1 and until mankind act as if they believed what they profess in regard to it4 ,when ,solomon says1 ,train up a child in the way he should go1 he is talking of what ,i call education2 and the kind of education which he is there recommending1 is good education4 ,i do not believe he had the schools in his mind--the infant school1 the ,sabbath school1 the common school1 the high school1 or the university4 ,far be it from me to attempt to detract from the value of our schools2 on the contrary1 ,i regard them as of inestimable worth1 when duly attended to4 ,what ,i insist on is1 that they are not the all in all of education2 and that1 in fact1 their influence in training up or forming good character1 is so trifling--that is1 comparatively--that they scarcely deserve to be thought of when speaking of education1 as a whole1 especially the education of daughters4 ,and though one of the tribes of the nation to which ,solomon belonged1 over which he reigned1 and for whom1 in particular1 he wrote1 is said to have been school-masters by profession1 and another priests1 ,i can hardly conceive that when he was inspired to give the educational advice just alluded to1 he ever turned so much as a thought to the little corner of ,palestine allotted to ,simeon1 or to the ,levites in their respective but more scattered stations4 ,solomon was1 in all probability1 addressing himself chiefly to the fathers and mothers1 and grand-fathers and grand-mothers1 and other relatives of ,israel2 the class who1 by their united influence1 make the son and daughter1 and grand-son and grand-daughter1 what they are--a blessing or a curse to the world in which they are to live4 ,for1 according as children are brought up by these teachers1 and by the influences which are shed upon them from day to day and from hour to hour1 so are they well or ill educated4 ,if ,i have been successful in presenting the meaning of a term which is not only frequently used in this book1 but almost every where else1 it will follow1 as a matter of course1 that ,i do not attach too much importance to the education of daughters themselves1 nor to their education as the teachers of others4 ,for if to educate1 is to form character1 what young woman can be found1 of any age or in any family1 who is not a teacher8 ,have young women often considered--daughters1 especially--how much they influence younger brothers and sisters1 if any such there are in the family where they dwell8 ,have they considered how much they sometimes influence the character--and how much more they might do it--not only of their school-mates and play-mates1 but also of their more aged friends and companions--their parents1 grand-parents1 and others8 ,footnote3 ,on reading these paragraphs in manuscript1 to one of our more eminent teachers1 he observed that if he had been useful in the world1 he owed his usefulness to the exertions of a maiden lady who resided in his father's family1 while his character was forming4 ,i could tell them--were this the place for it--many a true story of reading daughters who have been the means of awakening1 in their aged parents1 or grand-parents1 or other friends1 a taste for reading1 which they might otherwise have gone down to the grave without acquiring4 ,i could tell them of many a father and mother1 and grand-father and grand-mother1 grown grey in vice--hardened even by intemperance as well as other vices--who have been reformed by the prattle1 or the reproof1 or the prayers of a good daughter4 ,is not such a daughter a teacher8 ,but ,i am most anxious to convince young women of their responsibilities in regard to the rising generation1 especially their own brothers and companions4 ,i am anxious1 if ,i can1 to convince all who read this volume1 that ,god has1 by his providence1 committed to their charge1 in no small degree1 the bodies1 and minds1 and the souls of those with whom1 in this world1 they are associated4 ,that according to their own conduct1 good or ill1 will be1 in no small measure1 the health1 and knowledge1 and excellence of their friends and companions4 ,that according to their efforts--attended1 either by the blessing of ,god1 or the tokens of his displeasure--will be the condition of millions1 for time and for eternity4 ,but is it so8 ,are daughters1 as daughters merely--to say nothing1 as yet1 of maternal influence--are daughters thus influential8 ,is it true that the destiny of millions is thus committed to their keeping8 ,i have seen the conduct of a whole school--,i speak now of the common or district school--graduated by the conduct of a single virtuous1 and amiable1 and intelligent young woman1 not twelve years old1 who attended it4 ,i have seen a whole ,sabbath school not a little affected by the prompt attention1 decorous behaviour and pious example of some elder member of an older class1 to whom the younger members of classes1 male and female1 looked up1 as to a sort of monitor1 or ,i know not what to call it--for the impression thus made1 is better seen and felt than described4 ,the bad behaviour of a young woman1 in these circumstances1 is1 indeed1 equally influential--nay1 more so1 inasmuch as the current of human nature sets more readily downward than upward4 ,still1 a good example is influential--greatly so3 would that it were generally known how much so6 ,suppose now that by your good behaviour and pious example in the ,sabbath school1 you are the means of turning the attention of one younger companion1 male or female1 to serious things1 and of bringing down upon that young person the blessing of ,almighty ,god4 ,suppose that individual should live to teach or to preach1 or in some other form to bless the world1 by bringing numbers to the knowledge1 and love1 and inculcation of the very truth which has saved his own soul--and these last1 in their turn1 should become apostles or missionaries to others1 and so on4 ,is there any end1 at least till the world comes to an end1 of the good influence which a good ,sabbath school pupil may thus exert8 ,but this is something more than a supposed case4 ,is it not1 in effect1 just what is actually taking place around us in the world continually8 ,not1 indeed1 that a long train of good influences has been frequently set agoing in the ,sabbath school--for ,sabbath schools are but of recent origin4 ,but people have always been led along to virtue or vice1 to piety or impiety1 to bless the world or to prove a curse to it1 by one another4 ,a word or a look from a relative1 or friend1 or acquaintance1 in the school or somewhere else1 has often given a turn to the whole character4 ,a word1 it is said1 may move a continent4 ,something less than a word--a look or a smile of approbation--may move more than a continent4 ,it may move not merely a ,west1 ,footnote3 ,a mother's kiss1 in token of her approbation of some little pencil sketch1 is believed by ,benjamin ,west to have given the turn to his character--the character of a who said1 and justly1 that he painted for eternity4 ,that mother's kiss1 he observes1 made me a painter4 but an ,alexander1 a ,csar1 a ,napoleon1 a ,washington and a ,howard--men who1 in their turn1 moved a world6 ,i have spoken of the influence which a young woman may have on millions through the medium of the ,sabbath school4 ,but if she may influence in this way1 the millions of those who are to come after her1 how much more may she do in forming character for the great future1 in the family6 ,her presence in the ,sabbath school is only once a week--an hour or two a day1 once in seven days2 whereas1 her influence in the family is going on perpetually4 ,the clothes of ,alexander the ,great1 are said to have been made1 to a very great extent1 by his sisters2 and those of ,augustus ,csar were made for many years1 by his4 ,and can we doubt that these young females were influential1 in a great many respects1 in the education of these conquerors8 ,what could the latter have done1 but for the assistance and influence of mothers and sisters8 ,and can we have any ,alexanders and ,csars1 at the present day1 to carry on the moral and intellectual conquests which are so necessary in the world1 without the aid and co-operation of mothers and sisters8 ,sisters little know--it is almost impossible for them ever to know--how much they do to bring about results1--to educate their brothers and friends1 for the work which they perform1 whether good or evil4 ,the sisters of ,franklin little knew what they were doing for young ,benny1 as they called him1 while they assisted their mother in taking care of his clothes1 in preparing his food1 and in ministering to his other physical wants--yes1 and to the wants of his mind1 too4 ,who can say that ,benjamin ,franklin would ever have been what ,benjamin ,franklin was1 without their aid1 joined to the efforts of their mother8 ,many a young female1 having caught1 in some degree1 the spirit of doing good1 has sighed for opportunities4 ,what can ,i do8 she has seemed to say1 here at home4 ,if ,i could be a missionary at ,ceylon1 or ,south ,africa1 or the ,sandwich ,islands1 or even if ,i could be a teacher1 ,i could1 perhaps1 do something4 ,but as it is1 ,i must remain a mere cypher in the world4 ,i would do good1 but ,i have no opportunities4 ,she who says this1 is undoubtedly sincere4 ,she is1 however1 greatly mistaken4 ,her opportunities for doing good--for exerting an influence to bless her race--are neither few nor small4 ,there is1 indeed1 a difference1 a very great difference1 in human conditions and circumstances2 and yet ,i am persuaded1 no female is so secluded as not to be able to fulfil1 towards her race1 a most important mission4 ,i know of an excellent female who is often heard lamenting her want of opportunity for usefulness4 ,she has the spirit of doing good as she supposes1 and as ,i fully believe4 ,and yet she is miserable--she makes herself so--by repining continually at her want of ability to perform the good works which her heart meditates4 ,she would rejoice to devote her self to the elevation of her race4 ,she would gladly go to ,india1 or the ,south ,seas1 if her age and uncultivated intellect did not exclude her from being a candidate4 ,now1 without saying a word in disparagement of foreign missions--for the success of which ,i would gladly contribute largely1 not only by prayers1 but by pecuniary contributions--truth compels me to say of this female1 that ,i am by no means sure she could do more for humanity1 or more1 in fact1 for the cause of ,christ1 by a foreign mission1 than she is now doing by a domestic one4 ,a domestic mission hers indeed is1 in the fullest sense of the term4 ,she is an ordinary domestic--and no more--in the family to which she belongs4 ,but what is the condition of that family8 ,the head of it is the distinguished teacher of a private female seminary4 ,here he has prepared hundreds of young women--so far1 ,i mean1 as the mere instruction of what he calls a family school1 is concerned--for usefulness as teachers1 as sisters1 as ministers to the aged1 and as mothers to the young4 ,suppose he has instructed1 in his comparatively excellent way1 two hundred females4 ,suppose again one half of the females he has instructed and counselled and lived among1 should1 in their turn1 each form as much character as he has already done--and he is yet but a middle aged man2 and suppose half the disciples of each of these pupils in their turn should do the same1 and thus on1 till the year of our ,lord #bjjj1 only1 which is1 as we have reason to believe1 but a little way towards the end of the world4 ,suppose one hundred only of each two hundred1 should live to have influence1 seventy-five of them as the mothers of families of the usual size1 and twenty-five only1 as teachers4 ,there will then be five generations in one hundred and sixty years2 and the number of children which will come under the influence of this line or succession of mothers and teachers1 will be no less than ninety millions2 or a number equal to six times the present population of the ,united ,states4 ,now what ,i have here supposed1 is by no means beyond the pale of possibility4 ,two hundred pupils is not a large number for one teacher to instruct during his whole life4 ,nor is twenty-five a large proportion of two hundred to become teachers4 ,nor is seventy-five a large number in two hundred to live to have families2 nor two children in each family1 upon an average1 a very large number to come to maturity and have families in their turn4 ,besides1 ,i have reckoned but four generations in one hundred and sixty years1 exclusive of that now educating4 ,so that ,i have kept my estimates within due bounds in every respect4 ,do you ask what the domestic of whom ,i have spoken has to do with all this8 ,i answer1 much--very much indeed4 ,has she not rendered to the teacher in whose employ she has been1 that kind of services1 without which he could not have followed his occupation8 ,and if ninety millions1 or even one tenth that number of citizens should1 in the course of the next two centuries1 reap the benefit of his labors1 and become lights in the world1 is it too much to say that she has been an important aid in accomplishing the work8 ,nay1 is it even too much to affirm that unless the part which she has acted had been performed by her or somebody else1 the school could not have gone on1 and two hundred young women could not have received the teacher's instructions8 ,why1 then1 is not this humble domestic to whom ,i allude1 a benefactor to her race--if a benefaction it is1 to raise up and qualify for usefulness two hundred females--as well as he who has the whole credit of it8 ,i will not1 indeed1 say that any thing like as much credit is due to her as to him2 but ,i may say1 and with truth1 that she was an important auxiliary in producing the results that have been mentioned4 ,but if a humble domestic1 one who imagines herself so obscure as to be of little service to a world which perhaps estimates her services almost as low as she does herself--if such an individual may1 besides the general influence of her character upon a family1 be an indispensable aid in the work of sending forth to the world a host of female missionaries1 equal1 in the progress of less than two centuries1 at the dawn of the millennium1 to ninety millions1 what may not be done by a sister in a well ordered family--one who is not only well educated and governed herself1 but who educates and governs others well8 ,it may indeed be said1 that a domestic1 in the family of a distinguished teacher1 may indirectly influence1 by her labors in the way ,i have mentioned1 a far greater number of her race than most sisters are able to do4 ,it may1 indeed1 be so4 ,there is1 however1 another consideration4 ,it is chiefly the externals of education which can receive attention1 even in our best private schools4 ,little can be done1 at the best1 to form character--deep1 permanent1 and abiding character4 ,blessings indeed--great blessings--such schools are2 but in proportion as their numbers are increased beyond those of our larger families1 in the same proportion is the influence which might be exerted by the teacher1 scattered and weakened2 whereas1 if the number be small1 the influence of those who teach by example and by precept1 is concentrated1 and rendered efficient4 ,there is no certainty that the feebler influence which is exerted on ninety millions1 might not do more good by being concentrated on one tenth or one twentieth that number4 ,in other words1 if the same amount of pains were taken by mothers and sisters1 and the same amount of labor bestowed for the purpose1 there is no certainty that the world might not as soon be rendered what it should be through the medium of family education alone1 as with the aid of other influences4 ,christianity1 when brought to bear upon the family by the united exertions of father1 mother1 brothers and sisters1 will probably have an influence on the regeneration of the world1 of which no human mind--uninspired at least--has ever yet conceived4 ,would that our young females--sisters especially--had but an imperfect conception of the power they possess to labor in the cause of human improvement6 ,would that they had but an imperfect idea of female responsibility6 ,my remarks are applicable to all young women2 but they are particularly so to elder sisters4 ,to them is given in special charge1 the happiness and the destiny of all younger brothers and sisters1 be they ever so numerous4 ,as the desires of ,abel were to be expressed to ,cain1 and the latter was appointed to rule over the former1 so is the elder daughter appointed to rule over those whom ,god has1 in the same manner1 committed to her trust4 ,happy is she who has right views of her weighty responsibilities2 but thrice happy is she who not only understands her duty1 but does it6 ,but if the moral character1 much more than the physical and intellectual well being of the family1 is given in charge to elder sisters1 and even to all sisters1 it is scarcely possible for them to form a correct idea of the weight of their influence1 in this respect at least1 till they are past the age when that influence is most necessary1 most persuasive1 and most effectual4 ,i have seldom found a young man who had strayed long and widely from the path of virtue1 who had enjoyed the society and influence of a wise1 and virtuous1 and attentive sister4 ,on the contrary1 ,i have almost uniformly found such individuals to have been in families where there were no sisters1 or where the sisters were not what they ought to have been2 or to have been kept at schools where there were none but our sex4 ,i beseech every young female reader to make herself acquainted1 as far as she possibly can1 with the nature of her influence1 and the consequent responsibilities which devolve upon her4 ,let her understand that the day has gone by in which physical force was supposed to rule the world4 ,moral influence is now the order of the day2 and they whose moral influence is most weighty and powerful1 are they who most effectually bear rule4 ,but as it is reserved for woman1 when sensible1 enlightened1 virtuous and pious1 to exercise the most weighty moral influence1 consequently it is her province most effectually to bear rule4 ,kings1 and emperors1 and presidents1 parliaments1 and congresses1 and assemblies1 and courts1 and legislators1 and judges1 may labor in vain to influence or to reform mankind1 so long as female influence is not what it should be4 ,but let females be rightly educated1 and let them do what a good education will enable them to do1 and vice will ere long hang her head1 and virtue and piety--which alone exalt a nation1 or the individuals that compose it--will resume their sway4 ,then will the wilderness and the solitary place be glad1 and the desert rejoice and blossom as the rose4 ,,chapter ,,iii4 ,,self-,,education4 ,views of ,agesilaus1 king of ,sparta--of ,solomon1 king of ,israel4 ,mistake corrected4 ,what the wisest and best parents cannot do4 ,what1 therefore1 remains to the daughter4 ,necessity of self-education4 ,the work of self-education the work of life--a never-ending progress upward to the throne of ,god4 ,woman1 then1 now so often miseducated1 must be trained in the way she should go4 ,but let us consider a little more in detail what this education or training of woman should be1 and what it should accomplish4 ,when ,agesilaus1 king of ,sparta1 was asked what things he thought most proper for boys to learn1 he replied--,those which they ought to practise when they come to be men4 ,nor does this essentially differ from the direction of ,solomon1 which has been quoted4 ,if females do1 in effect1 rule the world1 they ought1 as ,i have before said1 to be trained to sway the sceptre of moral rule in the right manner4 ,if they now stand in the same position1 as regards the world and the world's happiness1 with that which boys were supposed to occupy in the days of ,agesilaus1 and if this thing was correct in his opinion1 then it follows that a proper answer to the question1 ,what things are most proper for girls to learn8 would be--,those which they ought to practise when they come to be women4 ,but it will not be forgotten that the definition ,i have given of the term education includes much more than merely direct efforts to teach4 ,whatever affects the health or the progress of body1 mind or soul1 even though it were that in which the individual is mostly passive1 as in sleep1 is a part of our education4 ,there is one point in which the views of ,agesilaus concerning education1 if not incorrect1 are at least defective4 ,he appears to countenance an idea1 still very prevalent1 that children and youth are not only in a state of preparation for the future1 but a state of preparation1 merely4 ,they are to be taught what they ought to practise when they come to be men1 according to ,agesilaus2 but according to the views of one who was wiser than he1 they are to be trained in the way they should go4 ,the latter view comes nearer the truth of the case than the former4 ,it requires1 or at least permits us1 to train up the child to-day for the enjoyments of to-day1 as well as for those of to-morrow--a point which the maxim of ,agesilaus does not seem to include4 ,young people are taught1 almost universally--by example1 if not by precept--to consider merit1 if not virtue and happiness1 as belonging exclusively to maturity4 ,they are not enough assured that youth1 though a state of preparation and trial1 is also a state of reward2 and that neither usefulness nor happiness is confined to place1 age or circumstances4 ,i wish to see the day arrive when the young--young women1 especially--will not look forward so much to a distant day and to distant circumstances1 for a theatre of action1 and for the rewards of action1 as they are accustomed to do2 for they thus deprive themselves of a vast amount of happiness which is due them in the present1 without in the least enhancing the value or the pleasures of the future4 ,i wish to see them so educated that they will not only be what they should be1 when they come to adult age1 but also what they should be now4 ,they have or should have a character to acquire now2 a reputation to secure and maintain now2 and a sphere of personal usefulness and happiness to occupy now4 ,it is true1 indeed1 that childhood and youth are more specially seasons of preparation1 and less specially seasons of reward1 than maturer and later life2 but it is also equally true1 that every stage of life1 not excepting its very evening1 is little more than a preparation for a still higher state1 where reward will predominate in a degree which will make all previous preparation seem to dwindle almost to nothing4 ,existence1 in short1 is a state of progress1 having1 at every step1 so far as we know1 its trials and rewards--the rewards always1 however1 predominating1 and the trials diminishing1 in proportion as personal holiness renders the latter unnecessary4 ,it will happen1 unavoidably1 that many young women to whom this little volume may come1 will have been trained up1 to the time of casting their eyes on these pages1 in the old fashioned belief to which ,i have alluded--viz41 that they can neither do nor be much in the world1 except to submit passively to certain processes which have received the name of education1 till their arrival at a certain size or age4 ,the fault1 reader--if such should be the case--is not chargeable1 solely1 on your parents4 ,they followed a custom which they found2 they did not make it4 ,but however this may be1 it is clear that your great object should now be1 to see what you can do for yourself4 ,now1 then1 here you are1 twelve1 fourteen1 perhaps sixteen years of age4 ,your parents have brought you up according to the existing customs1 for the future4 ,they have not sought to make you feel your present responsibilities1 your present power to do good1 your present capacity for communicating and securing happiness1 so much as to make you believe there are responsibilities1 and powers1 and capacities1 and rewards1 to be yours when you come to be large enough and old enough to appreciate or receive them4 ,but whatever your parents may have left undone in regard to the formation of your character1 it is yours to do4 ,need ,i urge the necessity of the case8 ,the present is an exceedingly important period of your life2 and what is to be done1 must be done quickly4 ,but what your parents have hitherto left undone1 they will be likely to continue to leave undone4 ,unless you apply yourself1 therefore--and that immediately--to the finishing of a work1 that1 owing to the circumstances in which they have been and still are placed1 and the views they have entertained1 they have left unfinished1 your education is not likely to be1 by any means1 so perfect as it should be4 ,you must take it up1 therefore1 where they have left it2 and do1 for yourself1 what they have not done for you4 ,in other words1 you must engage1 at once1 in the great work of self-education4 ,it may1 indeed1 be the case1 that you are the child of parents who have done their best1 and who have done it intelligently4 ,blessed is the young woman who has such parents1 but thrice blessed are the parents themselves1 if1 in the performance of their work1 they have the co-operation of the daughter4 ,there must be self-education even where there are the best of parents4 ,in fact1 the work of parental training and that of self-education1 should go on together2 they cannot well be separated4 ,parental effort will produce but half its legitimate results1 when not seconded by the efforts of infancy and childhood1 and especially of youth4 ,the reasons for this are so obvious that they hardly need to be repeated4 ,no young woman can be constantly in the company of her mother2 no mother can constantly watch over her daughter4 ,in the best families there are hours of each day1 when the child of every age1 especially of youthful age and capacity1 must be left to herself or to the influence of others4 ,what1 then1 is to become of her8 ,is she to yield to that current of the world which every where sets downward8 ,you will say1 perhaps1 that she has good habit on her side1 together with the counsels of good and kind parents4 ,if so1 ,i say again1 she is highly favored4 ,but what if it happen to be otherwise8 ,what if the parents happen not to be wise and discriminating1 or seem unable to find time1 in the bustle of a busy world1 to do that which they know it were desirable to do8 ,what then8 ,i repeat the sentiment1 then3 if you have the best of parents1 you are liable1 at your age1 to be thrown1 day after day1 into new and untried circumstances--such as it were next to impossible for parents to foresee4 ,new feelings will arise unknown to yourself1 and undiscoverable by them4 ,new passions will make their appearance--new temptations will solicit--new trials will be allotted you1 ,in spite of the best parental efforts at education1 there will still remain to you a great work of self-effort4 ,to assist you in it1 is the leading object of this little volume4 ,it is not a substitute for parental counsels4 ,it is not a substitute for your own reflections4 ,if it prove not an aid to parents1 in their task1 and if it encourage not the reflection and the self-efforts of the young1 it will not accomplish its object4 ,in the preceding chapter ,i have endeavored to give a general idea of education1 as ,i understand and use the term4 ,in this ,i have shown that no small part of the great work of education devolves1 in the best circumstances--and much more in circumstances which are unfavorable--upon the daughter4 ,i have shown that her whole life is a state of preparation1 indeed--but also1 in some measure1 a state of reward4 ,you perceive your own character and happiness1 for time and for eternity1 to be placed1 in no small degree and measure1 in your own hands--the efforts of parents1 friends and teachers to the contrary notwithstanding4 ,you perceive the formation of that character1 by the combined efforts of your parents and others and yourself1 to constitute the work of your education4 ,you perceive yourself capable--at least ,i hope you do--of everlasting progress2 of approaching the great source of ,light1 and ,truth1 and ,knowledge1 and ,excellence1 forever and ever1 though without the possibility of attaining it4 ,you perceive that1 though allied on the one side to the dust you tread on1 you are allied on the other side to heaven2 that though connected by ties of consanguinity to the worm you are also connected1 or may be1 with angels and archangels1 and cherubim and seraphim1 in the glorious work of unceasing progress upward toward the throne of ,god4 ,will you not1 then1 hail with joy1 every effort of every being who would assist your spirit in its upward flight8 ,to educate yourself--to make progress--to ascend toward the ,eternal ,throne1--you must know yourself--the laws within and without you--your relations1 by means of those laws1 to other things and other beings--your powers1 your capacities1 your prerogatives4 ,you must1 moreover1 know how to govern yourself in accordance with your knowledge4 ,,chapter ,,iv ,,love ,,of ,,improvement4 ,female capabilities4 ,doing every thing in the best possible manner4 ,unending progress4 ,every person and every occupation susceptible of improvement1 indefinitely4 ,doing well what is before us4 ,anecdote illustrative of this principle4 ,personal duties4 ,two great classes of persons described4 ,hopes of reaching the ears of the selfish4 ,i have already said that you are capable of never-ending progress in knowledge and excellence1 and that it is alike your interest and your duty to aspire to that perfection for which ,god has given you capabilities4 ,the object of the present chapter is to kindle within you a desire to make progress in every thing you do--to go on1 as the ,scripture expresses it1 to perfection4 ,whatever is worth doing1 is worth doing well1 is an old but true maxim4 ,more than even this might be affirmed4 ,whatever is worth doing at all1 is worth doing in the best possible manner4 ,no matter how well you have done the same thing heretofore2 no matter how much more perfectly you already do it than your neighbors4 ,you are not to make the past of your own experience1 or the present of your neighbor's1 the measure of your conduct4 ,the question is--,how well can ,i perform this particular act now8 ,perhaps no person who reads these paragraphs1 will doubt the truth of the general principle ,i have laid down4 ,thus far1 it may be said1 all seems to be correct4 ,we are1 indeed1 bound to do every thing we do1 to the glory of ,god2 and he can hardly be glorified in the doing of a thing in a manner which is short of the best in our power4 ,yet1 when we come to apply the principle1 and say in what particulars we should strive to make progress and do better1 from day to day1 and from hour to hour1 7if the thing is to be performed so often17 many an individual will be found1 ,i fear1 to stand back2 and among those who thus shrink from the just application of admitted principle1 will be found not a few who1 till now1 supposed they had within them a strong desire for perpetual improvement4 ,it is1 my young friends1 no trifling matter to have burning within a hearty desire for eternal progress4 ,it is no small thing to do whatever our hands find to do1 which it is fit that an intelligent being--one who belongs to the family of ,christ--should do1 in such a manner that it will contribute to the glory of ,god1 and the good of mankind4 ,and yet less than this1 as ,christians or even as rational and immortal beings1 we cannot do4 ,i know1 indeed1 that many who profess to be the disciples of ,christ1 actually do less than this4 ,i know there are hundreds and thousands who are called by his worthy name1 and who seem to be almost above the liability to do that which could be regarded as positively wrong1 who1 nevertheless1 are very far from striving to do everything which their hands find to do with all their might--or1 in other words1 as well as they possibly can4 ,but it is to be hoped that the standard of ,christian character will ere long be much higher than it is now4 ,it is of far less consequence what we do in the world1 my young friends1 than how well we do it4 ,there is hardly a useful occupation among us1 in which a person may not be eminently serviceable to himself and to mankind4 ,there is hardly one in which we may not constantly improve ourselves4 ,there is hardly one which will not afford us the means and opportunities of improving others4 ,there is hardly an occupation which may not itself be essentially improved4 ,i do not mean to say there is no choice in occupations1 either as regards pleasantness or usefulness4 ,nor do ,i mean to say1 that neither parents themselves nor their children1 are ever to consult their own natural preferences--their own likes and dislikes4 ,all ,i aim at is1 to convince the young--especially the young woman--that the old couplet1 ,honor and shame from no condition rise2 ,act well your part1 there all the honor lies-- is not so very far from the truth1 as many suppose2 and that happiness1 and even usefulness and excellence1 are as little dependent on place and condition1 as honor and shame4 ,a mercantile man with whom ,i was once acquainted1 gave me1 in few words1 a very important lesson4 ,he said he made it the rule of his life to do1 in the best possible manner1 whatever at any time seemed1 as a subject of duty1 to devolve upon him4 ,no matter about his own likes or dislikes--what appeared to be in the course of the dispensations of ,providence allotted him for the day1 he performed with all his heart4 ,if he should conclude to pursue his present business for life1 as the means of procuring a livelihood1 this would be the very best course of preparation3 if otherwise1 it was the best under the circumstances2 and especially was it the best state of mental and moral discipline with which he could be furnished4 ,to neglect the business before us because we are unhappy in it1 or at least not so happy as we fancy we might be in some other employment1 is to oppose the plans of ,providence2 nay1 even to defeat our own purpose4 ,it is to disqualify ourselves1 as fast as we can1 for faithfulness1 and consequently for usefulness1 in the employment we desire1 should we ever attain to it4 ,the wisest course is1 to do what our hands find before them to do1 provided it is lawful to do it at all1 with all our might4 ,the best possible preparation a young woman can have for a sphere of action more congenial to her present feelings1 is the one she now occupies4 ,she has1 at least1 duties to herself to perform4 ,let these1 as they recur1 be performed in the best possible manner2 and let the utmost effort always be made to perform every thing a little better than ever she performed it before--if it be but the washing of a few cups1 or the making of a bed4 ,what her personal duties are1 generally1 need not now be said3 first1 because many of them are obvious secondly1 because they will be treated of in their respective places4 ,but it should ever be borne in mind1 that there is nothing ever so trifling1 which is worth doing at all1 that may not be done better and better at every repetition of the act2 and that there is no occupation which may not1 in itself1 be improved indefinitely4 ,rising in the morning1 devotion1 personal ablutions1 dressing1 breakfasting1 exercise1 employments1 recreations1 dining1 conversation1 reading1 reflection--all these1 and a thousand other things which every one1 as a general rule1 attends to--may be performed in a manner to correspond more and more with the ,scripture direction which has been illustrated4 ,there are1 in respect to what ,i am now mentioning1 two classes of persons in the world--of females as well as males2 and they differ from each other as widely1 almost1 as the world of happiness from the world of misery4 ,one of these classes lives to receive2 is selfish--supremely so4 ,the other lives to communicate1 more or less--to do good--to make the world around it better4 ,the last class is benevolent4 ,a person of either class is not necessarily indolent or inactive2 but the end and aim of the labors of one1 are herself2 while the other labors for ,god and mankind4 ,the one procures honey from every flower--formed by other hands--but not a flower does she ever raise by the labor of her own hands1 if she can possibly avoid it4 ,the one lives only to enjoy2 the other1 to be the continual cause of joy1 like her ,creator4 ,the latter has a source of happiness within2 the former depends for her happiness on others4 ,leave her alone1 or amid a frowning or even an indifferent world1 and she is miserable4 ,would that ,i could reach the ears of that numerous class who are dependent on the world around them for their happiness--who never originated any good1 and are becoming more and more useless everyday6 ,would that ,i could make them believe that true happiness is not to be found externally1 unless it first exist in their own bosoms6 ,would that ,i could convince them that the royal road to happiness--if there be one--is that which has been alluded to in the preceding paragraphs2 in making all persons and things around us better--in transmuting1 as it were1 under the influence of the gospel1 all coarser things around us to apples of gold in pictures of silver4 ,i long exceedingly to see our young women filled with the desire of improvement--physical1 social1 intellectual and moral4 ,i long to see their souls glowing with the desire to go about doing good1 like their ,lord and ,master4 ,not1 indeed1 literally1 as ,i shall have occasion to say in another place4 ,but ,i long to have their hearts expand to overflowing with love to the world for whom ,christ died2 and ,i wish to have some of the tears of their compassion fall on those over whom ,god has given them an amazing1 and often an unlimited influence4 ,could ,i hope to reach a dozen minds1 and warm a dozen hearts1 which had otherwise remained congealed1 or at most received passively the little stream of happiness which a naked1 external world affords them1 without any corresponding efforts to form a world of their own--could ,i be the means of enkindling in them that love for everlasting progress towards perfection1 which is so essential to the world's true happiness and their own--could ,i thus aid in setting in motion an under-current which should1 in due time1 restore to us ,eden1 in all its primitive1 unfallen beauty and excellence1--how should ,i be repaid for these labors6 ,i will dare to hope for the best4 ,if ,i have the sacred fire burning in my own bosom1 ,i will hope to be the means of enkindling it in the bosom of a few readers4 ,if my own soul glows with love to a fallen world1 ,i will dare to hope that a few1 at least1 of those whose souls are more particularly made for love and sympathy1 will be led to the same source of blessedness4 ,,chapter ,v4 ,,self-,,knowledge4 ,vast extent of the science of self-knowledge4 ,spurious self knowledge4 ,knowledge of our physical frame--its laws and relations4 ,examples of the need of this knowledge4 ,instruments of obtaining it4 ,the use of lectures4 ,study of our peculiarities4 ,study of mental philosophy4 ,the ,bible4 ,how the ,bible should be studied4 ,self-knowledge is of the utmost importance to every human being4 ,to no person1 however1 is it more important than to the young woman4 ,it is the more necessary to urge the importance of self-knowledge1 from the fact that it is a species of knowledge which every one claims1 and which she would deem it almost a reflection upon her character to be supposed not to possess2 while it is that very knowledge of which almost every one1 of both sexes1 is exceedingly ignorant4 ,such an one understands himself1 is deemed quite a compliment among our sex nor is it wholly disregarded by the other4 ,but by this expression is too often meant no more than a knowledge of the petty acts and shifts1 and ,i might say tricks1 by means of which men and women contrive to pass current in the fashionable world4 ,how much this kind of self-acquaintance is worth1 is too obvious to need illustration4 ,i have represented a just self-knowledge as of very great importance2 but it is a science of vast extent1 as well as of vast importance4 ,a thorough knowledge of one's self includes1 first1 a knowledge of man in general1 in his whole character--compounded as it is--and in all his relations to surrounding beings and things2 and1 secondly1 a knowledge of the peculiarities produced by particular circumstances1 condition1 mode of life1 education and habits4 ,she who merely understands all the little arts to which ,i have alluded1 which enable us to pass current with a fashionable and grossly wicked world1 will find her self-knowledge exceedingly small1 when she comes to compare it with the standard of self-acquaintance set up by such writers as ,mason1 ,burgh1 ,watts1 c42 and1 above all1 when she comes to compare it with the standard of the ,bible4 ,how little1 nay1 how contemptible will all mere worldly arts and shifts appear--things which at most belong to the department of manners--when she comes to understand her three-fold nature1 as exhibited by the natural and revealed laws of ,jehovah6 ,the ,subjects of ,anatomy1 ,physiology and ,hygiene alone--and they teach us little more than the laws and relations of the mere body or shell of the human being--are almost sufficient for the study of a long life2 and yet no individual can ever thoroughly understand herself without them3 it is impossible4 ,anatomy shows us the structure of this body1 which the ,psalmist1 long ago1 taught us was fearfully and wonderfully made4 ,physiology teaches us the laws by which the living machine operates--is kept in play for seventy1 eighty1 or a hundred years2 and ,hygiene teaches us the relations of the living1 moving human body to surrounding beings and objects4 ,this1 indeed1 is a knowledge which few young women possess2 and yet it is a knowledge which no young woman1 who would do her utmost in the work of self-education1 can dispense with4 ,she wishes1 perhaps1 to improve her voice by conversation1 reading and singing4 ,but is she qualified to do this in the best possible manner1 while she is wholly ignorant of the structure of the lungs1 the wind-pipe1 and the fauces1 as they are called--parts so intimately concerned in the production of voice and speech8 ,she wishes1 perhaps1 to develope and invigorate her muscular system in the highest possible degree2 but how can she do this1 while she knows almost nothing of the nature or power of the muscular fibre8 ,she wishes to develope and cultivate her intellectual powers2 to acquire firmness of nerve and energy of thought4 ,but how can she do it1 if she is ignorant of the situation and functions of the cerebral and nervous system--that wonderful organ of the intellect8 ,she would train her eye in the best possible manner2 but how can she do so1 if she is ignorant of the nature and powers of that wonderful little organ8 ,she would educate1 properly1 all her senses2 but how can she do it1 without a knowledge of their structure1 functions and relations8 ,perhaps she would study the philosophy of dress1 and of eating and drinking4 ,how can she do so1 till she understands1 intimately1 the relation of the human system to air1 heat1 the various kinds of food1 drink1 c48 ,she would know1 still further1 the relation of body to mind1 and of mind to body--of body and mind to spirit1 and of spirit to body and mind4 ,she would study the particular effect of one passion1 or faculty1 or affection1 upon the body1 or upon particular functions of the bodily system--and the more remote or more immediate effects of diseases of a bodily organ on mind and spirit4 ,she must know all this1 and a thousand times1 yea1 ten thousand times as much1 before she is qualified to go far in the work of self-knowledge4 ,but she must go beyond even all this1 and study her own peculiarities4 ,it is not sufficient to understand the general laws and relations of the human economy2 she must understand herself in her own individual character--physically1 intellectually and morally4 ,she must understand the peculiarities of her physical frame1 of her mental structure1 and of her spiritual condition--her relation to other spirits1 particularly to the ,father of spirits4 ,how amazing and how extensive--,i repeat it--the science of self-knowledge6 ,to be perfect in it we need the life of a ,methuselah6 ,but something may be done1 even in the short period of seventy years4 ,and if it be but little that we can do in a life time1 this consideration only enhances the value of that little4 ,something1 ,i have said1 may be done in the short period of seventy years4 ,but ,i might say more4 ,something may be done in a single day4 ,and years are made up of days4 ,a little done1 every day1 amounts to much in a whole year4 ,let not the individual despair who can get but one new idea respecting herself1 in a day4 ,if she can sit down at quiet evening and say1 ,i know something respecting myself which ,i did not know last night at this time1 let her be assured the day is not lost4 ,one idea a day is three hundred and sixty-five a year2 and three hundred and sixty-five a year1 amount1 in seventy years1 to twenty-five thousand five hundred and fifty4 ,there are those who can hardly be said1 at seventy years of age1 to have twenty-five thousand five hundred and fifty ideas in their heads4 ,it is a matter of joy to every friend of self-knowledge1 that so many means have been1 of late years1 devised to facilitate the study of this science4 ,the lectures which have been given to both sexes on the structure1 laws and relations of their bodily constitution1 and the books which have been written1 have made a considerable change in the state of the public sentiment respecting this species of knowledge4 ,for it is not they alone who have heard or read1 that have reaped the benefit of hearing and reading on this subject4 ,many a parent or teacher1 aware that such instructions and books were abroad1 has been encouraged to the performance of that which she might not have dared to do1 had nothing been said or done to encourage her4 ,every young woman should1 therefore1 study these subjects for herself4 ,such books as those of ,miss ,sedgwick--her ,poor ,rich ,man1 and ,rich ,poor ,man1 and her ,means and ,ends--will prepare the way1 or will at least enkindle the desire1 for the kind of knowledge of which ,i am speaking4 ,she will then desire to read the works of the ,combes1 and perhaps1 ere long1 some of the other popular books of our day1 which treat of ,physiology and ,hygiene4 ,may ,i not venture to hope1 that at an early stage of her progress1 some of the chapters of this book will be found serviceable1 as well as several other works ,i have prepared1 especially the little volume called the ,house ,i ,live ,in8 ,she who1 having a hearty desire for improvement in self-knowledge1 on an extended scale1 lets her years pass without looking into any of the volumes or treatises to which ,i have referred1 can hardly be said to act up to the dignity of a ,christian of the nineteenth century4 ,but it is not the physical department of her nature alone1 that she who has the desire for self-knowledge and self-progress1 should study4 ,such works as those of ,mason on ,self-,knowledge1 ,burgh on the ,dignity of ,human ,nature1 ,watts on the ,mind1 ,opie on ,detraction and ,scandal1 ,wayland on ,moral ,science1 ,skinner on the ,religion of the ,bible1 c4 c41 should not only be perused1 but carefully studied4 ,it is to little purpose1 that is1 comparatively1 that our physical nature is attentively and assiduously studied and cultivated1 if it lead not to the more intimate and more earnest study of the immortal spirit4 ,in this better department--the spiritual--permit me1 once more1 to direct your attention to the ,bible4 ,it should be studied chiefly without note or comment4 ,your own good sense1 brought to bear upon its simple1 unstudied1 unscholastic pages1 accompanied by that light from on high which is ever vouchsafed to the simple1 humble inquirer and learner1 will be of more value to you than all the notes1 and commentaries1 and dictionaries in the world1 without it4 ,it is a book which is most admirably adapted to the progress of all grades of mind--those which are but little developed1 no less than those which are more highly cultivated4 ,other books speak to the intellect--to the head2 this speaks to the heart4 ,other books often plead for human nature2 this presents it just as it is--its perversity and deformity on the one side2 its susceptibilities to improvement1 its capability of excellency1 on the other4 ,though it reveals to us our humble origin--the brotherhood of worms--on the one side1 it unveils to us our relation to angels and archangels1 on the other4 ,nay1 more2 it not only shows us our relation to the celestial hosts1 and to ,him who presides in their midst1 but it points out to the penitent and the humble1 the road which1 through divine grace1 will conduct them thither4 ,i have spoken of the study of the ,bible without note or comment4 ,notes and comments1 indeed1 after you have made diligent use of all your own faculties and powers1 and sought thereon the blessing of ,god's ,spirit1 have their use4 ,i am exceedingly fond of them3 and ,i would not wholly deny to you what ,i am so fond of myself4 ,the danger is1 of leaning upon them too much4 ,scott1 and ,clarke1 and ,henry1 and ,jenks1 and ,calmet1 and ,barnes1 and ,bush1 may help to show me the true way of finding out and interpreting the ,scripture for myself2 but if ,i go farther1 and either indolently or superstitiously suffer them to interpret it for me1 it were almost better that ,i had not sought their aid4 ,but the ,bible1 with or without notes1 is--,i repeat it--the great volume of self-knowledge which ,i urge you to study1 and which1 in comparison with all the books written by man1 and even the great volume of nature herself1 is alone able to make you wise to salvation4 ,it seems to me to have been too seldom observed1 and still more seldom insisted on1 how apt the love and study of the ,bible are to awaken the dormant intellectual faculties1 and to enkindle1 even in the aged1 a desire for general improvement4 ,on this point1 ,mr4 ,foster1 in his essay on ,popular ,ignorance1 has some very striking remarks4 ,in alluding to that great moral change which it is one object of the ,bible to produce1 and to the consequences which often immediately follow1 he thus remarks3 ,it is exceedingly striking to observe how the contracted1 rigid soul seems to soften1 and grow warm1 and expand1 and quiver with life4 ,with the new energy infused1 it painfully struggles to work itself into freedom from the wretched contortion in which it has been so long fixed1 as by the impressed spell of infernal magic4 ,this change in the moral and religious man1 has been often observed2 and ,mr4 ,foster1 therefore1 tells us nothing very new1 however striking it may be4 ,but now for the secondary effect which is produced on the intellect1 and1 indeed1 on the whole character3 ,it 7the soul7 has been seen filled with a painful and indignant emotion at its own ignorance2 actuated with a restless desire to be informed2 acquiring an unwonted applicableness of its faculties to thought2 attaining a perception combined of intelligence and moral sensibility1 to which numerous things are becoming discernible and affecting1 that were as non-existent before4 ,we have known instances in which the change--the intellectual change--has been so conspicuous1 within a brief space of time1 that even an infidel observer must have forfeited all claim to a man of sense1 if he would not make the acknowledgment--,this that you call divine grace1 whatever it may really be1 is the strangest awakener of faculties1 after all4 ,i have made this quotation1 chiefly to confirm the sentiment ,i have advanced1 that the love of the ,bible and the religion of the ,bible1 actuates the soul with a restless desire to be informed1 and stimulates its faculties to thought1 and fills it with pain and indignation at its own ignorance4 ,this is the state of mind and heart which ,i would gladly encourage in the reader4 ,it is the truest and best foundation of all progress1 not only in self-knowledge1 but in every other sort of knowledge which is valuable4 ,give me but this trait of character in a young woman1 and ,i will not despair of her1 however low may be her present condition1 or how degraded soever may have been her former life4 ,give me but a hearty desire1 a hungering and thirsting for improvement--physical1 moral1 intellectual1 social and religious--and ,i will dare to believe that the most debased and depressed soul may be restored1 at least in some good measure1 to that likeness to ,jehovah in which it was originally created4 ,one thing more1 however1 should be remembered4 ,not a few who really have within them the desire of improvement1 and who mean to make the ,bible and its doctrines their standard1 fail of accomplishing much after all4 ,the reason is1 they measure themselves1 continually1 by their neighbors4 ,if they are no more ignorant or no more vicious than their neighbors--,misses ,s4 and ,l41 perhaps--or on the other hand1 if they are as wise and as virtuous as ,miss ,r4--they seem to rest satisfied4 ,or at any rate1 if1 they make as much progress in the great path of self-knowledge1 or do as much good in the world as the latter1 they are anxious for no more1 and settle down in inaction4 ,now every such individual ought to know that the habit of measuring herself by others1 in this way1 will hang like a millstone about her neck2 and if it do not drown her in the depths of ignorance and imbecility1 will at least make her forever a child1 in comparison with what she should be4 ,it will keep her grovelling on the earth's surface1 when she ought to be exploring the highest heavens4 ,it will keep her a near neighbor to the sisterhood of worms on which she treads1 when she ought to be soaring towards those lofty heights which ,gabriel once traversed--nay1 which he even now traverses--fast by the throne of the ,eternal4 ,let her not stop1 then1 to demean1 and embarrass1 and fetter herself by comparisons of herself with any thing finite4 ,she has no right to do this4 ,the perfection which the word of ,god requires1 is the standard or measure by which she should compare herself4 ,she may1 indeed1 sometimes compare herself with herself--her present self with her past self--provided it be done with due humility2 but let her beware of measuring herself by others4 ,such a course is as perilous as it is ignoble and unprofitable4 ,,chapter ,,vi4 ,,conscientiousness4 ,is there any conscientiousness in the world8 ,how far conscientiousness should extend4 ,tendency and power of habit ,evils of doing incessantly what we know to be wrong4 ,why we do this4 ,errors of early education4 ,false standard of right and wrong4 ,bad method of family discipline4 ,palsy of the moral sensibilities4 ,particular direction in regard to the education of the conscience4 ,results which may be expected4 ,there is such a want of conscientiousness among mankind1 even among those who are professedly good people1 that one might almost be pardoned for concluding that there is either no conscience in the world1 or that the heavenly monitor is at least no where fully obeyed4 ,for is there not too much foundation for such a conclusion8 ,while truth compels us to admit that ,christianity has already done much to awaken the consciences of men1 we shall gain nothing by shutting our eyes to the vast influence it has yet to exert1 before mankind will become what they ought to be4 ,most people are conscientious in some things4 ,they may have been so trained1 for instance1 that they are quite tender in regard to the feelings of others1 and even those of animals4 ,there are many who1 with ,cowper1 would not enter on their list of friends the man who needlessly sets foot upon a worm1 who are yet very far from possessing much real conscientiousness4 ,their feeling is better entitled to the name of sympathy4 ,i grant that many of these persons possess something more than mere tenderness or sympathy4 ,not a few of them are truly conscientious in what may be called the larger concerns of life--especially in external religion4 ,they not only feel the force of conscience1 but they obey her voice in some things4 ,they would not fail to attend to all the outward rites of religion in the most faithful manner1 on any account whatever2 and if a failure should occur1 would find their consciences reproaching them in the severest manner1 for their departures from a known standard of duty4 ,these persons regard1 with a considerable degree of conscientiousness1 the law of the land and the law of public opinion1 or at least the law of fashion4 ,in respect to any thing which would subject them to the severity of public remark1 or which would even be regarded by the coarse1 public eye1 as glaringly inconsistent with their religious character1 they are never wanting in sensibility4 ,their consciences reproach them1 when they have done or said any thing which may cause them to be ill spoken of4 ,thus far1 it cannot be denied that there is a great deal of conscientiousness in the world4 ,but beyond limits something like these1 it is much more rare than many suppose4 ,to say that it does not exist beyond such narrow limits1 would be unjust2 but it must be admitted that1 taking the world at large1 its existence is so rare1 as hardly to entitle it to the name of a living1 moving1 breathing principle of action4 ,i do not suppose that young women are less conscientious than young men2 nor that the young of either sex are less conscientious than their seniors4 ,it would be a novel if not unheard of thing1 to find the youth without conscience1 merging1 in due time1 into the conscientious octogenarian4 ,the contrary is the more common course4 ,and yet how few are the young women who make it a matter of conscience to perform every thing they do--the smaller no less than the larger matters of life--in such a way as to meet the approbation of an internal monitor4 ,do they not generally bow to the tribunal of a fashionable world8 ,do they generally care sufficiently1 in the every day actions1 words1 thoughts and feelings of their lives1 what ,god's vicegerent in the soul says about their conduct8--or if they do care1 is it because it is right or wrong in the sight of ,god--or of man8 ,a due regard to the authority of conscience would lead people1 as it seems to me1 to yield obedience to her dictates on every occasion4 ,they who disregard her voice in one thing1 are likely to do so in others4 ,who does not know the power of habit8 ,who will deny that the individual who habitually disregards the voice speaking within1 on a particular subject will be likely1 ere long1 to extend the same habit of disregard to something else2 and thus on to the end of the chapter1 if any end there be to it8 ,no one1 it is believed1 will doubt that ,i have rightly described the tendency of habit in large matters4 ,he who would allow himself to steal from day to day1 unmindful of the voice within which bids him beware1 would not only1 ere long1 if unmolested1 come to a point at which conscience would cease to reproach him1 but would be likely to venture upon other kinds of wrong4 ,i have seen those who would habitually steal small things1 and yet would not tell a lie for the world4 ,but ,i have known the habit of stealing continue till lying also gradually came to be a habit1 and was scarcely thought of as offensive in the sight of ,god1 or as positively wrong in the nature of things1 any more than picking up a basket of pebbles4 ,from lying1 the natural transition is to profanity--and so on1 till conscience1 chased up and down like the last lonely deer of a forest1 at length exhausted1 faints and dies4 ,few1 ,i say1 will deny the tendency and power of habit1 in regard to the larger matters of life4 ,but is it sufficiently known that every act which can possibly be regarded as fraudulent in the smallest degree1 has the same tendency8 ,there are a thousand things that people do1 which cannot be set down as absolutely criminal1 in the view of human law1 or human courts1 and which are not forbidden in any particular chapter or verse of the divine law1 which1 notwithstanding1 are forbidden by the spirit of both4 ,human law1 no less than divine law1 requires us to love our neighbor as ourselves4 ,is the law obeyed when we make the smallest approach to taking that advantage of a neighbor1 which we would not like to have taken of us in similar circumstances8 ,those who admit and seem to understand the power of habit in larger matters1 are yet prone to forget the tendency of an habitual disregard of right and wrong in small matters4 ,they are by no means ignorant1 that large rivers are made up of springs1 and rills1 and brooks2 but they do not seem to consider that the larger stream of conscientiousness must also be fed by its thousand tributaries1 or it will never flow2 or once flowing1 will be likely soon to cease4 ,in other words1 to be conscientious--truly so--in the larger and more important concerns of life1 we must be habitually1 and ,i had almost said religiously so1 in smaller matters--in our most common and every day concerns4 ,would that nothing worse were true1 than that people of all ranks and professions1 and of all ages and conditions1 habitually1 and with less and less compunction or regret1 do that which they know they ought not to do1 and leave undone that which they very well know ought to be done4 ,for they even seem to justify themselves in it4 ,i know the right1 and ,i approve it too2 ,i know the wrong1 and yet the wrong pursue-- is the language of many an individual--even of some from whom we could hope better things2 and not a few charge it upon the frailty of fallen nature--as that nature now is--independent of1 and in spite of their own efforts6 ,strange infatuation6 ,one way of solving this great riddle in human life and conduct--this incessant doing by mankind of that which they know they ought not to do1 and neglecting to do that which they know ought to be done--may be found in the fact that so few are trained to regard1 in every thing1 the sacred rights of conscience4 ,they are referred to other and more questionable standards of authority4 ,if you do so and so1 you will never be a lady1 says a mother who wishes to dissuade her young daughter from doing something to which she is inclined4 ,if you behave so1 every body will laugh at you1 says another4 ,if you do not obey me1 ,i shall punish you1 says a third4 ,if you don't do that1 ,i shall tell mother1 says a young brother or sister4 ,if you do not do it1 father will give you no sugar toys1 when he comes home1 the child is again told4 ,if you don't mind me1 the bears will come and eat you up1 says the petulant nurse or maid-servant4 ,thus1 in one way or another1 and at one time or another1 every motive--love1 fear1 selfishness1 pleasure1 c4--is appealed to in the education of the young1 except that which should be chiefly appealed to--viz41 self-approbation1 or the approbation of conscience4 ,this is not all4 ,there is with many of these people no settled rule as to which sort of actions are to be the subjects of praise or of blame4 ,a thing which must not be done to-day1 on penalty of the loss of the forthcoming sugar toys1 is connived at1 perhaps with a kiss1 to-morrow4 ,all in the child's mind is confusion2 she knows not what to do1 were she as docile and as obedient as an angel of light4 ,there is a long series of actions1 words1 thoughts and feelings1 connected with right and wrong1 of which nothing is ever said1 except to forbid them1 by stern and absolute authority4 ,that one is good1 and another bad1 except according to the whim or fancy of the parent or teacher1 the child never suspects4 ,of this last class are almost all the actions of every-day life4 ,the child alluded to is scolded1 at times1 for default in matters which pertain to rising1 dressing1 saying prayers1 eating1 drinking1 playing1 speaking1 running1 teazing1 or soiling its clothes or books1 and a thousand things too familiar to every one to render it necessary to repeat4 ,perhaps she eats too much1 or eats greedily2 or she inclines to be slovenly1 or indolent1 or fretful4 ,now all these things are in general merely forbidden or rated1 or at most1 shown to be contrary to the will of the parents4 ,they are seldom or never shown to be right or wrong1 in their own nature2 nor is the child assured1 upon the authority of the parent1 that there is a natural right or wrong to them4 ,thus1 what is not implanted1 does not1 of course1 grow4 ,all the little actions and concerns of life1 or almost all--and these1 by their number and frequent recurrence1 make up almost the whole of a child's existence--are1 as it were1 left wholly without the domain of conscience2 and the young woman grows up to maturity without a distinct conviction that conscience has any thing to do with them4 ,and what is bred in the bone1 according to a vulgar maxim1 stays long in the flesh4 ,as is the child1 so is the adult4 ,it is one of the most difficult things in the world to make a person conscientious in all things1 who has not been trained to be so4 ,hence the great difficulty in the way of making every-day ,christians4 ,our religion is thought by some to have nothing to do with these ever-recurring small matters4 ,and when we are told that we should do every thing to the honor and glory of ,god1 although we may assent to the proposition1 it is hard to put it in practice4 ,there is a sort of moral palsy prevailing in the community--and that1 too1 very extensively4 ,no fatal error of early education could have seized more firmly1 or palsied more effectually the moral sensibilities of the whole community1 than this4 ,and therefore it is certain that this is at least one principal reason why there is so little conscience in the world1 and why it is so often a starveling wherever it is found to exist4 ,i have heard an eminent teacher contend with much earnestness1 that there is a great multitude of the smaller actions of human life which are destitute of character--wholly so4 ,they are1 he says1 neither right nor wrong4 ,but if so1 then is there no responsibility attached to them2 and1 consequently1 no conscientiousness required in connection with their due performance4 ,but what1 in that case1 is to become of the injunction of a distinguished apostle1 when he says1 ,,whatever you do1 do all to the glory of ,god8 ,if every thing we do should be done to the glory of ,god1 and not thus to do it1 is to disobey a righteous precept1 then there is a right and wrong in every thing4 ,now which shall we believe--the human teacher or the divine8 ,this origin of a common error1 ,i have deemed it necessary for every young woman to understand1 that she may know how to apply the correction1 and where to begin4 ,she should love and respect her parents1 even if they belong to the class which has been described4 ,she should consider the present imperfect state of human nature1 and be thankful for the thousand benefits she has received at their hands1 and the various means of improvement within her reach4 ,if she has drank deeply of the desire for improvement1 and if she wishes to know and to reform herself as fast as possible1 let her begin by cultivating1 to the highest possible degree1 a sense of right and wrong1 and an implicit and unwavering obedience to the right4 ,before closing this chapter1 however1 ,i wish to present a few illustrations of my meaning1 when ,i say that every thing should be done in a conscientious manner4 ,perhaps1 indeed1 ,i am already sufficiently understood2 but lest ,i should not be by all1 ,i subjoin the following4 ,suppose a young woman is in the habit of lying in bed late in the morning4 ,in view of her varied responsibilities and of the vast importance of rising early1 and with a strong desire for continual improvement1 she sets herself to change the habit4 ,now to aid her in her task--for it is no light one--let her endeavor to consider the whole matter4 ,god gives us sleep1 she will perhaps say to herself1 for the restoration of our bodies and minds2 and all the time really necessary for this is well employed4 ,but ,i have found that ,i feel better1 and actually enjoy myself better1 for the whole day following1 when1 by accident or by any other means1 ,i have slept an hour less than ,i am accustomed to do4 ,i usually sleep nine hours or more1 whereas ,i am quite sure eight are sufficient for every reasonable purpose4 ,moreover1 if ,i sleep an hour too much1 that hour is wasted4 ,have ,i a right to waste it8 ,it is ,god's gift2 is it not slighting his gift1 to spend it in sleep8 ,is it not a sin8 ,and to do so day after day and year after year1 is it not to make myself exceedingly guilty in his sight8 ,one hour1 daily saved for the purpose of reading or study1 after a person has really slept enough1 is equal1 in sixteen years1 to the addition of a full year to one's life4 ,can it be that ,i waste1 in sleep1 in fifteen or sixteen years1 a whole year of time8 ,i must do so no longer4 ,it injures my complexion2 it injures my health2 it is an indolent practice3 but above all1 it is a sin against ,god4 ,i am resolved to redeem my time4 ,and to aid me in this work1 ,i am determined1 if ,i fail in any instance1 to remember this decision1 and the grounds on which it was made4 ,she carries out her decision4 ,she finds herself waking too late1 occasionally1 it is true4 ,however1 she not only hurries out of bed the instant she wakes1 but recalls her former view of the sinfulness of her conduct4 ,she is no sooner dressed1 than she asks pardon for her transgression1 and prays that she may transgress no more4 ,this course she continues2 and thus her convictions of the sinfulness of her former indolent habit and waste of time are deepened4 ,at length1 by her persevering efforts and the assistance of ,god1 she gains the victory1 and a new and better habit is completely established4 ,just so should it be with any other bad habit4 ,every young woman should consider it as a sin against ,god1 and should begin the work of reformation as a duty1 not only to herself and to others1 but also and more especially to ,god4 ,if it be nothing but the error of eating too much--which1 by the way1 is not so small an error as many seem to suppose--let her try to regard it in its true light1 as a transgression against the laws of ,god4 ,let it be so regarded1 not merely once or twice1 but habitually4 ,in this way it will soon become--as in the case of early rising--a matter of conscience4 ,the close of the day1 however1 is a specially important season for cultivating the habit of conscientiousness4 ,sleep is the image of death1 as some have said2 and if so1 we may consider ourselves at bed-time1 as standing on the borders of the grave1 where all things should look serious4 ,the cool of the day is peculiarly adapted to reflection4 ,let every one1 at this time1 recall the circumstances of the day1 and consider wherein things have been wrong4 ,it was a sacred rule among the ,pythagoreans1 every evening1 to run thrice over1 in their minds1 the events of the day2 and shall ,christians do less than heathen8 ,the ,pythagoreans did more than cultivate a habit of recalling their errors2 they asked themselves what good they had done4 ,so should we4 ,we should remember that it is not only sinful to do wrong1 but that it is also sinful to omit to do right4 ,the young woman who fears she has said something in regard to a fellow being in a certain place1 or in certain company1 which she ought not to have said1 as it may do that person injury1 should remember1 that not to have said something1 when a favorable opportunity offered1 which might have done a companion or neighbor good1 was also equally wrong4 ,and above all1 she should remember1 that both the commission and the omission were sins against that ,god who gave her a tongue to do good with1 and not to do harm2 and not only to do good with1 but to do the greatest possible amount of good4 ,in short1 it should be the constant practice of every one who has the love of eternal improvement strongly implanted in her bosom1 to consider every action performed1 during the day1 as sinful1 when it has not been done in the best possible manner1 whether it may have been one thing or another4 ,as ,i have stated repeatedly elsewhere1 there is nothing worth doing at all1 which should not be done to the honor and glory of ,god2 and she who would attain to the highest measure of perfection1 should regard nothing as done in this manner1 which is not done exactly as ,god her ,saviour would have it done4 ,it is desirable not only to avoid benumbing or searing over the conscience1 but that we should cultivate it to the highest possible tenderness4 ,true1 these tender consciences are rather troublesome2 but is it not better that they should torture us a little now1 than a great deal hereafter8 ,i have said that some good people--that is1 those who are comparatively good--fall short in this matter4 ,a young woman is a teacher1 perhaps1 in a ,sabbath school4 ,she knows1 full well1 the importance of attending promptly at the appointed hour2 and she makes it a point thus to attend4 ,at last she fails1 on a single occasion--not from necessity1 but from negligence1 or at least from want of due care--and her conscience at once reproaches her for her conduct4 ,but1 ere long1 the offence is repeated4 ,the reproaches of her conscience1 though still felt1 have become less keen4 ,the offence is repeated1 again and again1 till conscience is almost seared over--and the omission of what had at first given great pain1 almost ceases to be troublesome4 ,and thus the conscience1 having been blunted in one respect1 is more liable to be so in others4 ,alas for the individual1 who is thus1 from day to day1 growing worse1 and yet from day to day becoming less sensible of it6 ,but there is a worse case than ,i have yet mentioned4 ,a young woman has risen rather late on ,sunday morning2 and having risen late1 other things are liable to be late4 ,the hour for church is at length near2 the bell is even ringing4 ,something in the way of dress1 not very necessary except to comply with fashion1 and yet on the whole desirable1 remains to be done during the remaining five minutes2 but what is more important still1 the habit of secret prayer for five minutes before going to church1 is uncomplied with4 ,one of these1 the closet or the dress1 must be neglected for want of time4 ,does any one doubt which it will be8 ,does any one doubt that the dress will receive the desired attention1 and that the closet will be neglected8 ,but does any one suppose that conscientiousness can live and flourish where it is not only not cultivated1 but habitually violated1 in regard to the most sacred matters8 ,secret prayer is one of the most sacred duties2 and they who habitually neglect or violate it1 for the salve of doing that which is of secondary importance--knowing it to be so--are not only taking the sure course to eradicate all conscientiousness from their bosoms1 but are most manifestly preferring the world to ,god1 and the love and service of the world1 to the love and service of its glorious ,creator and ,redeemer4 ,let me say1 in concluding this chapter1 that if the conscience is cultivated from day to day1 it will1 in time1 acquire a degree of tenderness and accuracy to which most of the world are entire strangers4 ,there is1 however1 one thing more1 ,conscience will not only become more tender and faithful1 but her domain will be much enlarged by the study of the ,bible2 and in many cases is which this heavenly monitor was once silent1 she will now utter her warning voice4 ,conscience is not unalterable1 as some suppose she is susceptible of elevation as long as we live2 and happy is the individual who elevates her to her rightful throne4 ,happy is the individual who sees things most nearly as ,god sees them1 and whose conscience condemns her in every thing which is contrary to the divine will4 ,,chapter ,,vii4 ,,self-,,government4 ,what self-government includes4 ,cheerfulness a duty4 ,discretion4 ,modesty4 ,diffidence4 ,courage4 ,vigilance4 ,thoughts and feelings4 ,the affections4 ,the temper4 ,the appetites and passions4 ,this is so broad a subject that ,i shall present my thoughts concerning it under several different heads4 ,it includes1 in my estimation1 the government of the ,,thoughts1 the ,,imagination1 the ,,temper1 the ,,affections1 and the ,,appetites4 ,the young woman who truly governs herself1 will be at once cheerful1 discreet1 modest1 diffident1 vigilant1 courageous1 active1 temperate and happy4 ,cheerfulness4--,is cheerfulness within our power8 some may be inclined to ask4 ,i certainly regard it so4 ,that there are moments of our lives--nay1 even considerable seasons--when cheerfulness is not required1 may1 indeed1 be true4 ,our friends sicken and die1 and we mourn for them4 ,this is a law of our nature4 ,even our ,saviour was1 at times1 a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief2 though of all individuals in the universe cheerfulness was his right4 ,but he bore more than his own sorrows2 and in so far as his example is1 in this respect1 binding upon us1 it is only when we bear the sorrows of others4 ,those should1 indeed1 often be borne2 and in proportion as they are borne--in proportion as we are wounded for the transgressions1 and bruised for the iniquities of others--it may not be possible for us to be continually cheerful4 ,as for our own sorrows--the sufferings1 the pangs1 the bereavements of our own existence--we should never cease to regard them1 in some measure1 at least1 as the chastisements of an ,almighty ,father4 ,smitten friends1 according to the sentiment of a distinguished poet1 are messengers of mercy to us--are sent on errands full of love4 ,for us they sicken1 and for us they die4 ,we should be at least resigned1 even under such chastisements1 when we remember they are inflicted by a ,father's hand4 ,but setting aside occasions of this kind1 is there not a demand on our whole nature1 for general cheerfulness8 ,it is not only the sunshine of the soul1 but that of the body4 ,the truly cheerful are not only happier in their minds and spirits1 but also in their very bodies4 ,the brain and nervous system play their part in the great drama of physical life better2 the heart1 and stomach1 and lungs1 work better4 ,indeed1 all is better throughout4 ,is not that a duty which is productive of so much happiness8 ,but can that be a duty which it is not in our power to perform8 ,it were surely an impeachment of the wisdom and goodness of ,god1 did he require us1 in his providence or in his word--by his natural or his revealed law--to do that of which we are incapable4 ,i consider cheerfulness1 then1 as a matter of duty2 and1 of course1 as in a great measure in our power4 ,it makes us happier ourselves2 it enables us to reflect more happiness on others4 ,i consider it especially as a duty of the young1 who have it in their power to communicate happiness thereby in such large measure4 ,let them--let young women especially--strive to cultivate it4 ,it is in its nature a perennial plant2 and if it is not such at the present time1 it is because it has degenerated in a degenerate world4 ,let it be restored to its pristine beauty2 and let the world thereby--in connection with other means tending to the same end--be restored to what it was before the loss of ,eden4 ,discretion4--,this is a virtue with which1 it is supposed by some1 the young have little if any thing to do4 ,i cannot assent to such an opinion4 ,i believe that the young are to be trained in the way they should go2 and as discretion is prominently a virtue of middle and later life1 ,i deem it desirable that we should see at least the germs of it in the young4 ,above all1 do ,i like to see the young woman discreet4 ,discretion not only heightens the pleasures of her existence1 but adds greatly to her reputation in the just estimation of the wise4 ,coupled with modesty1 of which ,i am to speak presently1 it more than doubles her charms4 ,let discretion then be studied4 ,let it be studied1 too1 for its immediate as well as remote benefits4 ,it will1 indeed1 bear fruit more abundantly in later life2 but it will not be without its value in youth4 ,it is a plant which it were worth while to cultivate1 if human existence were more frail1 and life more uncertain of continuance than it now is4 ,,modesty4--,of all the qualities appropriate to young women1 ,i know of none which is more universally esteemed than modesty4 ,and what has been1 by common consent1 so highly esteemed1 ,i cannot find it in my heart to under-value4 ,indeed1 ,i do not think it has ever been over-valued1 or that it can be4 ,i have been somewhat amused--not to say instructed--by the following remarks on this trait of female character1 from the pen of one who is1 not only a philosopher1 but a physiologist4 ,footnote3 ,alexander ,walker1 the author of several ,british works connected with the subject of physical education and physical improvement4 ,they are not the more interesting1 perhaps1 because they are somewhat new2 but neither are they less so4 ,as ,i have nothing else to say on this topic1 which has not been said a thousand times1 ,i transcribe the more freely1 the thoughts of the author to whom ,i refer4 ,modesty establishes an equilibrium between the superiority of man and the delicacy of woman2 it enables woman to insure thereby for herself1 a supporter--a defender4 ,and while man thus barters his protection for love1 woman is a match for his power2 and the weaker1 to a great extent1 governs the stronger4 ,it is probable that modesty derives its cause in woman1 from a certain mistrust in her own merit1 and from the fear of finding herself below that very affection which she is capable of exciting1 and of which she is the object4 444 ,modesty compels her love to assume that form by which nature has taught her so universally to express it--that of gratitude1 friendship1 c4 444 ,modesty is a means of attraction with which nature inspires all females4 ,under this head ,i will just add1 that since by modesty the weaker govern the stronger1 it is of immense importance that woman should know the true secret of maintaining her power and also by what means she is likely to jeopardize that power4 ,and without undertaking to determine what shall be the precise rules of female action1 and the precise limits of the sphere within which the ,author of her nature designed she should move1 is it not worth the serious inquiry1 whether she does not1 as a general fact1 lose influence the moment she departs widely from the province which ,god in nature seems to have allotted her2 when1 like a ,woolstoncroft1 or a ,wright1 or others still of less painful notoriety1 she mounts the rostrum1 and becomes the centre of gaping1 perhaps admiring thousands of the other sex1 as well as of her own4 ,so did not the excellent women of ,galilee1 eighteen hundred years ago2 although they were engaged1 heart and hand1 in a cause than which none could be more glorious1 or afford a greater triumph1 especially to their own sex4 ,they probably knew too well their power1 to endanger it thus in the general scale2 or if not1 they probably yielded to the impulses of a spirit which could direct them in a path more congenial to their own nature1 as well as on the whole more conducive to their own emancipation1 elevation and perfection4 ,,diffidence4--,this trait1 though nearly related to modesty1 is far from being the same thing1 its character having been more frequently brought in question than that of modesty4 ,and yet it seems to me equally valuable4 ,it gilds what modesty graces2 and polishes what modesty improves4 ,let not the reader confound modesty and bashfulness2 for they are by no means the same thing4 ,modesty is as much opposed to impudence as any thing can be2 and yet it is certain that impudence is often conjoined with bashfulness4 ,not so often1 to be sure1 in the female sex1 as in our own2 and yet such a phenomenon is occasionally witnessed1 even in woman4 ,bashfulness is usually the result of too low an estimate of ourselves2 whereas1 true diffidence only leads us to value ourselves according to our real worth4 ,diffidence makes us humble1 but bashfulness sometimes makes us mean2 at least1 there is danger of it4 ,it is1 at all events1 of doubtful utility2 and though ,i would not denounce or condemn it1 ,i would urge the young to endeavor to rise far above it4 ,but ,i repeat it--,i would endeavor to cultivate and encourage every thing which belongs to true diffidence4 ,it will assist modesty in performing her angelic office2 and the influence of both1 united1 may save from many a pang in this world1 and perhaps prove a means1 under ,god1 of preventing the sentence of condemnation in the world to come4 ,,courage4--,by courage ,i do not mean that trait for which man is constitutionally as much distinguished1 as woman is for the want of it ,i mean not a courage to meet and surmount physical difficulties1 and encounter outward and physical dangers4 ,i mean1 on the contrary1 that moral courage which is neither confined to sex nor condition4 ,not that physical courage is to be despised1 even by females4 ,on the contrary1 ,i think it is a trait of character which is quite too much neglected in female education4 ,it is not only lamentable1 but pitiable1 to see a female of twenty1 thirty1 or fifty years of age1 shrinking at the sight of a spider1 or a toad1 even when there is not the smallest prospect of its coming within three yards of her4 ,nor is it as it should be1 when a young woman1 already eighteen or twenty years of age1 has such a dread of pigs and cows1 as to scream aloud at the sight of one in a field1 so well enclosed that it is not possible her safety could be endangered were the animal ever so malicious4 ,such unreasonable and foolish fears ought by no means to be encouraged2 on the contrary1 she who finds herself a slave to them1 ought to suppress them as fast as possible4 ,this is1 indeed1 an important but much neglected part of female education2 and she who is a sufferer therefrom1 will do well to derive a hint from these pages4 ,the unreasonable fears of which ,i speak1 are by no means confined to the sight of toads1 or spiders1 or pigs1 or cows4 ,we find them more or less frequently1 and in some form or other1 in nearly every family4 ,some are unreasonably afraid of dogs and horses2 others1 of cats or snakes2 others1 again1 of the dark1 or of being alone by night or by day4 ,let me not be understood as saying that no tears are to be indulged1 in regard to any of these things2 it is only an unreasonable and foolish degree of fear1 that should be guarded against4 ,a cow or a horse feeding quietly in a pasture1 and separated from you by a stout fence1 which no animal in any ordinary circumstances is wont to leap1 is not a proper object of fear with a rational person over twelve years of age4 ,if a cow or horse is running at large in the highway1 and appears fearless of man1 or furious1 or if mad dogs are about1 enough of fear may reasonably be indulged to keep you from the streets1 and confine you to your home1 unless you have suitable protection4 ,but as ,i have already said1 it is moral courage that ,i would inspire in the young woman4 ,she has patience1 and perseverance1 and fortitude--why then may she not add to these1 moral courage8 ,what man has done1 man may do--has been a thousand times said2 and the remark is not less applicable to woman than to man4 ,what woman has done1 woman may do4 ,but woman1 in numerous instances1 has possessed moral courage4 ,she has been known1 more than once1 to face a frowning world1 or to oppose some of its tyrant fashions4 ,i could mention more than one who has thus evinced true moral courage1 and set her sex a glorious example1 which not a few of my readers might do well to follow4 ,let woman dare to do right--whether fashionable or unfashionable4 ,let her dare to do so in the smaller no less than in the larger matters of life4 ,let her dare to obey ,god1 and the laws of ,god1 both natural and revealed--both within and around her--rather than the laws of any man or set of men4 ,let her do this1 and she will evince true moral courage2 a courage as far surpassing the highest efforts of physical courage of prowess1 as right surpasses might2 virtue1 vice2 or purity1 impurity4 ,,vigilance4--,the young woman who truly understands and practises the art of self-government1 will not only train herself to be at once cheerful1 discreet1 modest1 diffident and courageous2 she will also be vigilant4 ,the largest ship may be sunk by a very small leak2 and in like manner1 may the brightest and noblest character lose its lustre1 unless the possessor is ever on the watch4 ,let not the most perfect individual on earth say1 in the plenitude of his own power1 and in the height of his own assurance--,my mountain stands strong4 ,i shall never be moved4 ,such assurances of self-government and self-possession may be proper--of course are so--in ,him who is in his own nature perfect and immutable--infinitely and eternally so2 but not in a frail1 mutable1 created man or woman--above all1 in the young and inexperienced4 ,pardon me1 then1 youthful reader1 when ,i repeat the ,scripture cautions--,be vigilant2 and ,let him who thinketh he standeth1 take heed lest he fall4 ,it is easier to maintain the measure of self-government we have already attained1 and even to add to it1 than to recover what we have once lost4 ,,thoughts ,,and ,,feelings4--,on this account1 set a guard over the very thoughts of your hearts4 ,all sin begins in the desires of the heart and the affections of the soul4 ,there1 in the deep recesses of the man1 it germinates4 ,let every imagination1 then1 which exalts itself unduly1 be brought low2 and let the stream of thought and feeling be pure1 and perfect1 and holy4 ,acquire the exceedingly important habit of confining your thoughts and desires to those subjects which your judgment tells you are lawful and proper--and which are not only lawful and proper in general1 but which are so at particular times and places4 ,the wise man says there is a time and season for every thing2 and more than intimates1 that it is wisdom to confine every thing--thoughts and feelings1 no less than words and actions--to their own place and time1 respectively4 ,but to learn to think with order1 is one exceedingly important item in the art of governing our thoughts4 ,half the thought in the world is of a mere random character4 ,men are but half men who have not yet attained to the government of their thoughts and feelings4 ,,the ,,affections4--,even these1 as ,i have already said1 can be controlled4 ,were it not so1 what meaning would there be in the gospel commands--so incessantly repeated by the divine ,author of the gospel--to love our enemies8 ,on this subject--the regulation1 and if ,i may so say1 the application of the affections--,i intend to dwell at greater length hereafter4 ,,the ,,temper4--,nothing is more unpleasant--slovenliness1 perhaps1 excepted--than a bad temper4 ,i beseech every one who is so unhappy as to possess such a temper1 to pay particular attention to what ,i am about to say1 on this interesting and important topic4 ,some young women seem entirely to overlook the consequences of an ill temper4 ,these are numerous--too numerous to be mentioned in a single chapter4 ,i shall only say here1 that such a temper is no less destructive--in a slow way--to the health of the body1 than it is to the mental faculties and the affections4 ,some suppose their ill temper to be constitutional1 and this serves them as an apology for neglecting to govern it4 ,they seem to regard it as so wrought into their very structure1 that it will hardly be possible ever to eradicate it4 ,they are condemned by inheritance1 as they appear to suppose1 to a perpetual war within--in which the most they can hope for is an occasional victory4 ,now let me tell every young woman who has imbibed this erroneous and dangerous notion1 that ,god has never suffered the command of her temper to be placed beyond her reach4 ,she may acquire the most perfect self-command1 even in this respect1 if she will4 ,not in a moment1 nor in a day1 it is true4 ,the work may be the labor of months1 or of years4 ,still1 the battle can be won3 a permanent and final victory can be achieved4 ,the very general idea1 that single persons somewhat advanced in life1 especially females1 become habitually impatient or ill tempered1 has too much truth for its foundation1 though it is by no means universally true4 ,nor is it ever necessary that it should be so1 as ,i have endeavored to show elsewhere4 ,i wish every young person could be induced to study deeply the causes which operate on mankind to originate or perpetuate a bad temper4 ,they are numerous--exceedingly so4 ,it is not necessary to charge much upon our ancestors4 ,the causes may much oftener be found within our own minds and bodies1 would we but look for them there4 ,we harbor or perhaps indulge a thousand unpleasant feelings from day to day1 not seeming to know1 or at least to realize1 that as small streams form larger ones1 so these first risings of anger lead to its more out-breaking forms4 ,not a few of the instances of irritability1 fretfulness1 impatience and melancholy1 have their origin in physical causes--in errors in regard to exercise1 sleep1 air1 temperature1 dress1 eating1 drinking1 c42 and some have their origin in mistakes about the theory or the practice of religion4 ,some originate1 too1 in disappointed love4 ,in short1 their sources are well nigh endless4 ,,the ,,appetites ,,and ,,passions4--,it is in vain1 or almost in vain1 to hope for any radical improvement in our physical1 intellectual or moral condition1 except in proportion as the body and the bodily appetites are kept in proper subjection to right reason and religion4 ,here ,i must again urge upon every young woman the duty of studying the laws of health1 and especially those of temperance4 ,the knowledge thus to be obtained1 would be of exceeding great value to her in the government of her passions and appetites4 ,prof4 ,mussey1 recently of ,dartmouth ,college1 in ,new ,hampshire1 relates1 that a teacher in ,boston1 whose general course of discipline was quite mild1 was sometimes so much affected in his temper by high-seasoned or over-stimulating dinners1 as to be petulant and passionate1 even to blows1 immediately afterward4 ,now1 whether this was often the case with the individual in question1 ,i cannot say4 ,this1 however1 ,i may affirm with the utmost safety and confidence--that many an individual who finds her passions or her appetites more than usually troublesome or rebellious1 would do well to look for the cause in the bad air which she breathes1 the bad food or drinks she uses1 or in something else in herself or in her habits which might have been prevented4 ,sometimes tea or coffee1 notwithstanding their first effects to enliven1 produce the results ,i have mentioned1 as their secondary effects4 ,sometimes a hearty dinner of flesh meat1 or a more moderate one1 with bad accompaniments1 or with improper seasonings1 is the cause of trouble4 ,sometimes the cause is something either quite indigestible1 or difficult of digestion1 whether it be animal or vegetable4 ,and1 lastly1 but yet most frequently of all1 it may be excess of quantity1 or the bad cooking of substances naturally wholesome and digestible4 ,i press this part of my subject upon the consideration of young women1 because it concerns not them alone1 but a host of others4 ,no one liveth to himself1 says an apostle2 and the remark is quite as important in its application to the young woman1 as to any other individual4 ,one reason why ,i urge it is1 because we are almost universally referred to moral means and moral considerations alone1 in order to keep in subjection the body--its passions and appetites--and seldom1 if ever1 to a proper attention to our food or our drink1 our air1 our exercise1 or our sleep4 ,nay1 the hopes of the young1 in regard to keeping the body in subjection1 are sometimes completely paralyzed by the grave assertion1 that the strength of our passions and appetites is constitutional--as much our inheritance1 as the color of our eyes1 or the contour of our physiognomies1 and almost equally unalterable4 ,now ,i would encourage no young woman to expect too much of temperance in all things1 without the co-operation of the moral powers1 and especially of the will4 ,but ,i would encourage her to strict temperance for her own sake1 and that of others4 ,i would say to her once more1 that in proportion to her obedience to the laws of health1 in regard to air1 exercise1 sleep1 temperature1 study1 food1 drink1 clothing1 c41 c41 will be her ability to govern herself according to right1 and reason1 and the commands of the ,creator4 ,the simpler her diet1 for example1 and the more free it is from extraneous things--as fat1 condiments1 c4--the easier will it be to keep herself in proper subjection to herself--the body to the immortal spirit4 ,one of the most powerful and ever active causes of that slavery of the soul to the body1 which every person of sense must perceive and deplore1 is our unnatural and artificial cookery4 ,had it been the aim of all the cookery in the world1 to make it as bad as possible for the health of body and soul1 ,i know not that things could have been worse than they are now4 ,very few things1 indeed1 are made more palatable1 more digestible1 or more nutritious by it--the legitimate and only ends of all the efforts of our fashionable cookery4 ,on the contrary1 they are made1 almost universally1 a great deal worse for us4 ,let the young woman who would serve ,god in her day and generation1 by doing good in the reformation1 elevation1 and eternal progress of herself and those around her1 not only study deeply the laws of health and life1 but let her tax her powers of reasoning and invention1 to see if it is not possible to remove the cause of so much mischief from our parlors1 our sleeping-rooms1 our kitchens1 and our tables4 ,much must be done1 in this respect1 before the world can become what it ought to be2 and woman must lead the way--woman of some future generation1 if not of the present4 ,,chapter ,,viii4 ,,self-,,command4 ,presence of mind4 ,examples4 ,napoleon4 ,female example4 ,mrs4 ,merrill4 ,use of the anecdote4 ,self-command to be cultivated4 ,in what manner ,consult the experience of others4 ,consult your own reason and good sense4 ,daily practice in the art of self-command4 ,i was1 at first1 disposed to call this chapter ,presence of ,mind2 but for various reasons1 ,i have chosen to call it by another name--that of ,self-,command4 ,to acquire the art of properly commanding ourselves1 in all circumstances--especially in the most trying emergencies1 and at a moment of danger1 when not a minute1 perhaps not a second1 should be lost--is as difficult as it is important to every person2 and to none perhaps more so1 than to young women4 ,not that their trials of this sort will be more frequent than those of other people2 but because the usual course of their education is such as to prepare them but poorly to meet those which fall to their lot4 ,it is said that ,napoleon was greatly distinguished for the trait of character of which ,i am now speaking4 ,but there are also numerous4 examples of self-command in females on record4 ,i will relate one4 ,some thirty or forty years ago1 when the ,indians had not yet done making depredations on the inhabitants of our then frontier states1 ,kentucky and ,ohio1 a band of these savage men came to the door of a house in ,nelson county1 ,ky41 and having shot down the father of the little family within1 who had incautiously opened the door1 they attempted to rush in and put to death the defenceless and unoffending mother and her children4 ,but ,mrs4 ,merrill--for that was the name of the heroic woman--had much of that self-command1 or presence of mind1 which was now so needful4 ,she drew her wounded husband into the house1 closed the door and barred it as quickly as possible1 so that the ,indians could not enter at once1 and then proceeded to the defence of her castle1 and all those in it whom she held dear4 ,the ,indians had soon hewed away a part of the door1 so that they could force themselves in1 one by one1 but not very rapidly4 ,this slow mode of entrance gave time to ,mrs4 ,m4 to despatch them with an axe1 and drag them in2 so that before those without were aware of the fate of those inside1 she had1 with a little assistance from her husband1 formed quite a pile of dead bodies within and around the door2 and even the little children1 half dead though they at first were with fear1 had gradually begun to recover from their fright4 ,the ,indians1 finding their party so rapidly disappearing1 at length began to suspect what was their fate1 and accordingly gave up their efforts in that direction4 ,they now attempted to descend into the house by way of the chimney4 ,the united wisdom and presence of mind of the family was again put in requisition1 and they emptied upon the fire the contents of a feather bed1 which brought down1 half smothered1 those ,indians that were in the chimney1 who were also soon and easily despatched4 ,the remainder of the party1 now very much reduced in numbers1 became quite discouraged1 and concluded it was best to retire4 ,i have not related this story because ,i suppose any of my readers will ever be tried in this particular manner4 ,many of them1 however1 may be placed in circumstances exceedingly trying2 and their lives and those of others may depend on a little presence of mind4 ,suppose1 now1 that ,mrs4 ,m41 instead of dragging her wounded husband into the house and fastening the door1 had stood still and screamed2 or suppose she had fainted1 or run away2 what would have been the result8 ,we do not know1 it is true2 but we know enough of the ,indian mode of warfare to see that no condition could well be more perilous4 ,it cannot be denied that the large share of nervous sensibility which is allotted to the female constitution1 peculiarly unfits woman for scenes of blood1 like that to which ,i have alluded4 ,and yet we see what can be done1 as a last resort4 ,footnote3 ,some persons object to the detail or such a scene of murder as this1 even as an illustration of an important principle4 ,they dislike to present such things to the youthful mind2 and so do ,i4 ,but it should be remembered that this book is not for mere children1 but rather for young women2 and is therefore less objectionable than if it were written for persons much younger4 ,but if most females were fitted for trying emergencies1 as ,i doubt not they could be1 how much better they could meet the more common accidents and dangers to which human existence is daily more or less liable4 ,and ought they not to be thus fitted8 ,do you ask how item be done8 ,this is precisely the question ,i should expect would be asked by those who have a strong desire for improvement4 ,it is a work that is at present chiefly left undone1 both by parents and teachers1 and yet hundreds of lives are lost every year for the want of it2 and hundreds of others are likely to be lost in the same way every year for many years to come1 unless the work is taken up as a work of importance1 and studied with as much zeal as grammar1 or geography1 or botany1 or mathematics4 ,it is a most pitiable sight to see a young woman1 twelve1 fifteen1 or it may be eighteen years of age1 left to take care of a babe1 suffer its clothes to get on fire by some accident1 and then1 without the least particle of self-command1 only jump up and down and scream1 till the child is burnt to death2 or what perhaps is still worse1 rush out for relief1 leaving the door wide open to let through a current of air to hasten the work of destruction4 ,equally distressing and pitiable is it1 to see females1 young or old1 losing all presence of mind the moment a horse takes fright1 or a gale of wind capsizes the vessel in which they are travelling1 and by their erratic movements1 depriving themselves of the only opportunity which remains to them1 of saving themselves or of assisting to save others4 ,but the question recurs--,how can these evils be prevented8 ,in what way can our young women be taught--or in what way can they be induced to teach themselves--the important art of commanding themselves1 on all occasions1 and in all emergencies8 ,an aged but excellent minister of the gospel with whom ,i had the honor and the pleasure of being intimately acquainted1 once said1 that the only way of being prepared for the sudden accidents of life--by being able to keep cool and possess our souls in peace--was to think on the subject often1 and consider what we would do1 should such and such accidents occur4 ,thus we should consider often what we ought to do1 if a horse in a carriage should run away with us2 if we should awake and find the house on fire over our heads--what to be done1 if we were in this room or in that1 c42 if our clothes should take fire2 if we should be burnt or scalded--what to be done1 if scalded with water1 and what1 if with milk1 oil1 or any other substance2 ,footnote3 ,a very small portion of chemical knowledge is sufficient to teach any person that the falling of a quantity of boiling oil or fat on any part of the body1 will cause a deeper and more dangerous burn1 than the same quantity of boiling water applied in the same manner2 and consequently1 will require very different treatment4 ,water boils at #bab degrees of ,fahrenheit2 oil at about #fjj4--;,i have entered minutely into this subject in my work entitled ,the ,mother in her ,family chapters xxiv4 xxv4 and xxvi if a child should fall into a well1 be kicked by a horse1 be seized by convulsions1 or break or dislocate a limb1 c4 ,it will be asked1 ,i know1 of what avail it is to think over and over what should be done1 without the instructions1 either of experience or science4 ,but we can have these instructions1 to some extent1 whenever we seek after them4 ,the great trouble is1 we are not in the habit of seeking for them2 and what we do not seek1 we rarely1 if ever1 find4 ,there are around every young woman1 those whose judgment is worth something in this matter4 ,it is not always the old--though it is more generally such4 ,there are those who live in the world almost half a century without learning any thing2 and there are also those who become wise in a quarter of a century4 ,the wise1 whatever may be their age1 are the persons for you to consult2 and the older such persons are1 the better--because the greater is likely to be their wisdom4 ,the truly wise1 are always growing wiser2 it is the fool alone who remains stationary4 ,wise and observing friends will probably tell you--or at least relate anecdotes to you1 from which you may gather the conclusion--that when the clothes of a child have caught fire1 you may often smother the flame by wrapping him instantly in a thick woollen blanket3--that it is seldom entirely safe to open the doors into an adjoining room--at least without great caution--when the house which we are in is discovered to be on fire2 but the best way1 as a general rule1 is1 to escape by the scuttle1 if there be one1 or by a ladder1 or by letting ourselves down to the ground1 if the distance is not too great1 through the windows4 ,this last is often the best way1 though not always the most expeditious one4 ,many sleep with a rope in their bed-rooms to tie to the bed-post1 as a means of letting themselves down1 should there be occasion2 while others rely on the bed-clothes--to make a rope of them by tying several articles together4 ,but it was no part of my purpose1 in this work1 to direct to the appropriate methods of saving ourselves or our friends from harm1 in case of accidents or emergencies2 but only to point to the subject1 and leave the reader to pursue it4 ,the intelligent young woman who sets about gaining the habit of self-command1 will not only consult the experience of others1 but observe1 and reflect1 and reason on the case1 herself4 ,she will often originate plans and means of escape1 in places and1 circumstances of danger1 which she would not gain from others in a hundred or a thousand years4 ,there is one other means of improvement in the art of self-command1 on which ,i do not know that any writer on the subject has dwelt with much earnestness4 ,and yet it is as plain and simple as can be4 ,it is to make the most of every little accident or emergency that actually overtakes or surprises us4 ,i know from personal experience1 that a great deal may be done in this way4 ,there are those who1 though they were formerly frightened half out of their senses1 at the sudden sight of a harmless snake1 have brought themselves1 by dint of long effort1 to so much presence of mind1 as only to start a little at first--and to be as calm1 and composed1 and self-possessed1 in a few seconds afterward1 as if nothing had happened4 ,and the same presence of mind may be obtained in other surprises or emergencies4 ,besides1 she who is learning to command herself at sight of a snake or a dog2 is at the same time acquiring the power to command herself in any other circumstances where self-command may be necessary4 ,i wish the principle indicated by the last statement were more generally perceived4 ,i wish it were distinctly understood1 that what we want is1 to gain the habit of self-command in all circumstances1 rather than to be able to work ourselves up to a proper state of feeling in particular cases2 and that this habit is to be acquired by frequent familiar conversation on the subject1 and by daily practice in the continually recurring small matters of life4 ,it is1 indeed1 in governing ourselves in these small matters--which recur so frequently1 and are regarded as so trifling as to have not only no moral character in themselves1 but no influence in the formation of character--that the art to which ,i am now directing your attention1 is to be chiefly acquired4 ,they who defer the work till some larger or more striking emergency arrives1 will not be likely to make much progress2 for they begin at the wrong end of the matter4 ,they begin exactly where they ought to end4 ,,chapter ,,ix4 ,,decision ,,of ,,character4 ,decision of character as important to young women as to others4 ,why it is so4 ,illustration of the subject by a ,scripture anecdote4 ,misery and danger of indecision4 ,how to reform4 ,perseverance4 ,errors of modern education4 ,this trait of character has been recommended to young men too exclusively4 ,i know of no reason why it is not equally important to young women1 and equally becoming the sex in general4 ,one thing1 at any rate1 ,i do know2 which is1 that thousands of young women--and the world through their imperfection--suffer1 in no trifling degree1 from the want of this virtue4 ,i call it a virtue4 ,what is there that produces more evil--directly or indirectly--than the want of power1 when occasion requires it1 to say ,,yes1 or ,,no8 ,as long as with half the human race--and the more influential half1 too-no does not mean no1 and yes does not mean yes1 there will be a vast amount of vice1 and crime1 and suffering in the world1 as the natural consequence4 ,and is not that which is the cause of so much evil1 nearly akin to vice8 ,and is any thing more entitled to the name of virtue1 than its opposite8 ,let me illustrate my meaning by a ,scripture example4 ,when ,balak1 the king of ,moab1 undertook to extort a curse upon ,israel1 from ,balaam1 the latter did not say no2 but only said1 the ,lord would not permit him to do what was required4 ,he left neither to ,balak nor to his messengers1 any reason to conclude that his virtue was invulnerable4 ,on the contrary1 as the event plainly shows1 his answer was just such a one as encouraged them to prosecute their attempts to seduce him4 ,now it is precisely this sort of refusal1 direct or implied1 in a thousand cases which might be named1 which brings down evil1 not only upon those who make it1 but upon others4 ,they mean no1 perhaps2 and yet it is not certain that the decision is--like the laws of the ,medea and ,persians--irrevocable4 ,something in the tone1 or manner1 or both combined1 leaves room to hope for success in time to come4 ,the woman who deliberates1 is lost1 we are told3 and is it not so8 ,do not many who say no with hesitancy1 still retain the power and the disposition to deliberate8 ,and is it not so understood8 ,it is--,i repeat it--a great misfortune--a very great one--not to know how and when to say ,,no4 ,indeed1 the undecided are more than unfortunate2 they are very unsafe4 ,they who cannot say no1 are never their own keepers2 they are always1 more or less1 in the power and at the command of others4 ,they may form a thousand resolutions a day1 to withstand in the hour of temptation2 and yet1 if the temptation comes1 and they have not acquired decision of character1 it is ten to one but they will yield to it4 ,is it too much to say1 that half the world are miserable on this account1--miserable themselves1 and a source of misery to others8 ,is it too much to say1 that decision of character is more important to young women than to any other class of persons whatever8 ,but as it is in every thing or almost every thing else1 so it is in this matter3 they who would reform themselves1 must begin with the smaller matters of life4 ,the great trials--those of decision no less than those of other traits of human character--come but seldom2 and they who allow themselves1 habitually1 to vacillate1 and hesitate1 and remain undecided1 in the every-day concerns of life1 will inevitably do so in those larger matters which recur less frequently4 ,no one will succeed in acquiring true decision of character1 without perseverance4 ,a few feeble efforts1 continued a day or two1 or a week1 are by no means sufficient to change the character or form the habit4 ,the efforts must be earnest1 energetic1 and unremitted2 and must be persevered in through life4 ,i am not ignorant that many philosophers and physiologists have denied that woman possesses the power of perseverance in what she undertakes1 in any eminent degree4 ,a ,british writer1 distinguished for his boldness1 if not for his metaphysical acuteness1 maintains with much earnestness1 that woman1 by her vital organization1 is much wanting in perseverance4 ,this notion may or may not be true4 ,certain it is1 however1 that she has her peculiarities1 as well as man his4 ,but whether she has little or much native power of perseverance in what she undertakes1 is not so important a question1 as whether she makes a proper use of the power she possesses4 ,who does the best his circumstance allows1 ,does well2 acts nobly3 angels could no more4 ,we are required1 however1 to do that best which circumstance does allow1 as much as is the highest seraph2 and woman is not the less bound to persevere in matters where perseverance would become her1 because her native power of perseverance is feeble1 if indeed it is so4 ,on the contrary1 this very fact makes the duty of perseverance to the utmost extent of the means ,god has put into her hands1 the more urgent--especially as small powers are apt to be overlooked4 ,there is one habit which should be cultivated1 not only for its usefulness in general1 but especially for its value in leading to true decision of character4 ,i mean1 the habit of doing every thing which it devolves upon us to do at all1 precisely at the time when it ought to be done4 ,every thing in human character goes to wreck1 under the reign of procrastination1 while prompt action gives to all things a corresponding and proportional life and energy4 ,above all1 every thing in the shape of decision of character is lost by delay4 ,it should be a sacred rule with every individual who lives in the world for any higher purpose than merely to live1 never to put off1 for a single moment1 a thing which ought to be done immediately--if it be no more than the cleaning or changing of a garment4 ,when ,i see a young woman neglecting1 from day to day1 her correspondents--her pile of letters constantly increasing1 and her dread of putting pen and thoughts to paper accumulating as rapidly--,i never fail to conclude1 at once1 that whatever other excellent qualities she may possess1 she is a stranger to the one in question4 ,she who cannot make up her mind to answer a letter when she knows it ought to be answered--and in general a letter ought to be answered soon after it is received--will not be likely to manifest decision in other things of still greater importance4 ,the same is true1 as ,i have said already several times1 in regard to indecision in other things of even less moment than the writing of a letter4 ,it is manifest especially in regard to the matter of rising in the morning4 ,she who knows it is time to get up1 and yet cannot decide to do so1 and consequently lies yawning a little longer1 and yet a little longer still1 can never1 ,i am bold to say1 while this indolence and indecision are indulged1 be decided in any thing else--at least2 habitually4 ,she may1 indeed1 be so by fits and starts2 but the habit will never be so confirmed as to be regarded as an essential element of her character4 ,nearly all the habits of modern female education--,i mean the fashionable education of the family and school--are entirely at war with the virtue ,i am endeavoring to inculcate4 ,it would be a miracle1 almost1 if a young woman who has been educated in a fashionable family1 under the eye of a fashionable mother1 and at a fashionable boarding school1 under the direction of a teacher whose main object is to please her patrons1 should come out to the world1 without being quite destitute of all true decision of character4 ,if it were the leading object of our boarding schools to form the habit of indecision1 they could not succeed better than many of them now do4 ,they furnish to the world a set of beings who are any thing but what the world wants1 and who are more likely to do almost any thing else1 than to be the means of reforming it4 ,,chapter ,x ,,self-,,dependence4 ,fashionable education4 ,why there is so little self-dependence in the world4 ,why orphans sometimes make out well in the world4 ,error corrected4 ,what young women once were4 ,what they are now4 ,the best character formed under difficulties4 ,cause of the present helpless condition of females4 ,three or four to get breakfast4 ,modes of breaking up these habits4 ,anecdote of an independent young woman4 ,appeal to the reader4 ,here1 again1 our fashionable modes of education are wrong2 and here1 too1 almost every young woman who is determined on improvement1 has a great work to perform4 ,it is one of the most difficult things in the world--perhaps it is one of the impossibles--to bring up children amid comforts and conveniences1 and yet at the same time to cultivate in them the habit of self-dependence--or1 as some would call it1 the habit of independence4 ,and yet nothing is more true1 than that human character has always1 with few if any exceptions1 been most fully developed and most harmoniously and healthfully formed1 amid difficulties4 ,mr4 ,m',clure1 the distinguished geologist1 whose opportunities for observation in the world have been very great1 says that orphans1 as a general rule1 make their way best in the world4 ,without claiming for myself so many years of observation1 by thirty or forty1 as this distinguished veteran in natural science1 ,i should be glad to make one modification of his conclusion1 before adopting it as my own4 ,i would say1 that the misfortune of having no parents at all1 is scarcely greater than that of having over-indulgent ones2 and that the number of those who are spoiled by indulgence1 is greater than the number of those who are spoiled by being made orphans4 ,it cannot be that an institution ordained by ,heaven as one of its first laws1 should so completely fail in accomplishing its design--that of blessing mankind--as ,mr4 ,m',clure represents4 ,it cannot be that parents1 as a general rule1 are a misfortune4 ,such a belief is greatly erroneous4 ,the truth is1 that when we look about us and see so many spoiled1 who appear to be well bred1 our attention is so exclusively directed to these strange1 but1 in a dense population1 frequently occurring cases1 that we begin1 ere long1 to fancy the exception to be the general rule4 ,and again1 when we see here and there an orphan--and in a population like ours1 quite a multitude in the aggregate--making her way well in the world1 we are liable to make another wrong conclusion1 and to say that her success belongs to the general rule1 when it is only an exception to it4 ,nevertheless--and ,i have no wish to conceal the fact--it is extremely difficult1 if not dangerous1 to attempt to form good and useful character in the lap of ease and indulgence4 ,there needs privation and hard struggle1 to develope the soul and the body4 ,even ,zion1 the city of our ,god1 is represented in ,scripture as recruiting her inhabitants only by throes and agonies4 ,let it not be thought1 then1 that our young women in ,new ,england--a land of comparative ease1 quiet and affluence--can be brought up as they ought to be1 without much pains-taking4 ,a century ago1 things were1 in this respect1 more favorable4 ,then there were struggles2 and these were the means of forming a race of men and women1 of whom the world might have been proud4 ,then the young women knew how to take care of themselves2 and having been taught how to take care of themselves1 they knew how to take care of others4 ,but times are altered4 ,thousands of young women--and the same is true of young men--are trained from the very cradle1 scarcely to know any thing of want or difficulty4 ,all is comparative ease1 and comfort1 and quiet around them2 and they are led by ease and indulgence to love to have it so4 ,they are trained1 as ,i have elsewhere said1 to depend on the world and its inhabitants for their happiness--not to originate happiness and diffuse it4 ,they are trained1 in effect1 to believe that happiness1 or blessedness1 consists--contrary to the saying of our ,lord and ,saviour--in receiving2 not in giving4 ,the time was1 ,i say once more1 when most young women1 if thrown by the hard hand of necessity upon their own resources1 could yet take care of themselves4 ,no matter how great their poverty or affliction--how large or how deep their cup of adversity or trial--they would1 in general1 struggle through it1 and come out as gold seven times refined4 ,mothers left with large families of helpless children1 and with no means of sustaining them but the labor of their own hands1 and daughters left without either parent1 would wind their way along in the world1 and the world be both the wiser and the better for their influence4 ,now1 on the contrary1 mothers and young women left destitute1 are apt to be1 of all beings1 except the merest infants of the former1 the most helpless4 ,this applies to even a large portion of what are called the poor4 ,in reality1 however1 we have no poor--or next to none4 ,our very paupers are comparatively rich4 ,they dress1 and eat1 and drink1 and dwell like princes4 ,how1 then1 can they be so very poor8 ,it is true1 that nearly all of our young women are trained to something in the shape of labor4 ,very few1 indeed1 are trained to positive indolence4 ,but what is their labor1 generally speaking8 ,a little sewing1 or knitting1 or embroidery2 or still worse1 in circumstances of poverty or peculiar necessity1 a life of spinning1 or weaving1 or braiding2 or some other mechanical occupation which has no tendency to prepare them for true self-dependence4 ,i have said we have little poverty existing among us4 ,is it not so8 ,is not the life of young women in the great mass of our ,new ,england families1 very far removed from any feeling of want or suffering8 ,but though not trained in real indigence1 they might be trained to self-dependence4 ,they might be1 and always ought to be1 trained to make their own beds2 make and mend their own garments2 make bread2 and1 in fact1 to attend to the whole usual routine of duties involved in the care of themselves and a family4 ,but is it so8 ,are not all these things done1 to a vast extent1 either by servants1 hired girls1 or the mother8 ,and if the mother employs her daughters in assisting her1 is it not apt to be just so far as is convenient to herself1 and no farther8 ,in short1 who can often find the individual mother or daughter1 who considers hard work1 and care1 and obstacles1 and difficulties--such as all the world acknowledge are required in order to form good and useful character--as any thing but task work and drudgery--a curse1 and not a blessing1 to mankind8 ,true it is--and greatly to be lamented--that many of our young women are not well able1 for want of physical vigor and energy1 to encounter poverty1 and hardship1 and obstacles1 and suffering4 ,but this deteriorated condition of female character in ,new ,england1 is owing1 in no small degree1 to the very kind of education--miseducation1 rather--of which ,i am now complaining4 ,would mothers do their duty--could they do it1 ,i mean1 in the midst of abundance--the state of things would be very much altered for the better4 ,it is not uncommon in the schools of ,europe1 especially the female schools1 to assign to each older pupil the care of some younger one1 for whom she is more or less responsible1 particularly as to behaviour4 ,this leads1 in no small degree1 to self-effort and self-dependence2 and might be practised in families as well as in schools1 with equally good effects4 ,but there is another course which is better still1 in many respects4 ,it is not unusual in our ,new ,england families1 where there are several daughters1 when they are employed at all--,i mean about household concerns--to have them all employed at the same thing at once4 ,thus1 if breakfast is to be prepared1 all are to engage in it4 ,one goes this way1 another that1 and another that2 and it sometimes happens that they cross each other's path and come into actual conflict4 ,one goes for one thing1 another for another1 and so on2 and it is not uncommon for two or three to go for the same article4 ,that three or four females may thus spend all their time for an hour or more in getting breakfast1 when one alone would do it much more quietly and a great deal better1 and in little more time than is occupied by the whole of them1 is not the worst of the evil4 ,the great trouble is1 that no one is acquiring the habit of self-dependence4 ,on the contrary1 they are acquiring so strong a habit of doing things in company1 that they hardly know how to do them otherwise4 ,true1 there is pleasure connected with this sort of dependence--and most persons are exceedingly fond of it2 but the question is whether it is useful--and not whether it is or is not pleasurable4 ,is it best for young women to become so much accustomed to assist1 merely1 in cooking1 and in performing other household offices1 as to feel1 even at thirty years of age1 as if they could do nothing without the aid of others8 ,i hardly know what a young woman is to do1 who finds herself in the dependent condition of which ,i have been speaking4 ,the habit is not very likely to be broken1 so long as she remains in the place where it was formed4 ,i have1 however1 seen such a habit successfully broken up2 in one instance2 and perhaps it may be useful to relate it4 ,a young friend and neighbor of mine1 in a family where there were several young men of nearly the same age1 happening to find out the evil of doing the smaller work of the morning and evening in this company manner--that what was every body's business1 in the language of a common maxim1 was nobody's--resolved on a change4 ,he accordingly proposed to his companions to take turns in doing the work4 ,one was to do it faithfully--the whole of it--for a month2 another for the next month2 and so on4 ,the plan succeeded most admirably4 ,each became accustomed to a degree of responsibility2 and each began to acquire the habit of doing things independently1 without the aid of a dozen others4 ,perhaps this method might be generally introduced into families1 as it has already been1 in substance1 into some of our boarding schools4 ,it is at least worth while for a young woman who perceives her need of such an arrangement1 to attempt it4 ,to be suddenly required to make a batch of bread1 or wash the garments1 or cook the victuals of a household1 and to feel1 at twenty years of age1 utterly at a loss how to perform the whole routine of these familiar household duties1 must be both distressing to herself and painful to others4 ,of course it is not desirable to see our young women all orphans1 and brought up as domestics1 for the sake of having them brought up in such a way as to be good for something1 ,footnote3 ,nor can ,i wish to see young women trained to do the buying and selling1 instead of men1 in order to give energy to their character2 although ,i do not doubt that such a course is often successful4 ,it is related by ,mr4 ,ennis1 a highly credible traveller that in ,bali and ,lombok1 two islands lying eastward of ,java1 the females do all the buying and selling1 even to the amount of thousands of dollars4 ,this probably gives he says1 to the whole race of people a portion of that boldness and energy for which they are a little distinguished4 ,but then1 as he very honestly adds1 it gives the women somewhat of a masculine character--a thing which should not by any means be encouraged4 instead of being the poor dependent beings they too commonly are2 yet it were greatly to be desired1 that without the disadvantages of orphans at service in families1 they could have the energy and self-dependence of such persons4 ,allow me to relate1 for your instruction1 a few anecdotes respecting an individual1 who was1 to all intents and purposes1 an orphan1 but who was1 nevertheless1 more useful in life1 and more truly happy1 than a hundred or a thousand of some of those passive mortals who float through life on the streams of abundance1 without feeling the agitation of tide or current1 and only discover the misery of such a course when they fall into the gulf of insignificance4 ,this individual had been abandoned by one of her parents very early in life1 and had been also early separated by poverty from the other4 ,she had lived in various families1 and had been compelled to hard labor1 and sometimes to menial services4 ,at length she married a person as poor as herself1 though not so independent4 ,he had been bred in the midst of ease2 and was1 consequently1 indolent4 ,but she was determined on going ahead in the world2 and her ambition at length roused her husband4 ,the latter now engaged in hard labor1 by the day or the month1 among his neighbors2 while the wife took care of the concerns at home4 ,this continued for fifteen or sixteen years1 before their joint labors procured land enough for the husband to work on1 at home4 ,in the mean time1 however1 they had a number of children2 and the mother's cares and labors of course increased4 ,for several of the first of these years1 the husband was seldom at home to assist or encourage her1 in the summer1 except during the ,sabbath and occasionally at evening2 so that though this diminished the labor of cooking1 it left her with her children wholly on her hands1 and a great deal of unavoidable labor1 such as washing and ironing4 ,the latter work she did for her husband1 as well as for her children and herself3 and it was therefore an item of considerable moment--especially as she was obliged to bring water for this and all her domestic purposes in pails1 the distance of twenty-five or thirty rods1 a part of the year1 and of ten rods or so1 the other part2 besides which1 she had to pick up much of her wood1 for the six summer months1 in the woods nearly a quarter of a mile distant1 carry it home in her arms1 and to cut it for the fire-place4 ,added to all this1 was the labor of brewing once or twice a week2 for in those days1 when poverty denied cider to a family1 the beer barrel was regarded as indispensable4 ,nor were her domestic concerns1 properly so called1 her only labors4 ,she spun and wove cloth for the use of her family1 besides weaving for some of her neighbors4 ,she also spun and wove a great deal of coarse cloth1 at shares2 and thus purchased a large part of the smaller necessaries of the family1 and not a little of the clothing4 ,she continued this course1 ,i say1 something like fifteen years4 ,never1 to my knowledge1 unless she was actually sick1 did she receive any assistance in her labors--not so much as a day's work of washing4 ,and yet under all these disadvantages1 she reared--almost without help even from the children themselves1 as the difference between the oldest and the youngest was only about eight years--a family of four children4 ,i have sometimes wondered how she accomplished so much1 by her own unaided efforts4 ,but the whole secret lay in her power of self-dependence4 ,she could do every thing alone4 ,she had been trained to it4 ,she was truly independent2 as much so1 perhaps1 as a female can be in this world4 ,i might have added1 that notwithstanding these incessant labors1 ,i have often known her walk four or five miles to church on the ,sabbath1 and home again in the same manner2 that she was neat and orderly2 and that she found much time to read and converse with her children1 and for social visiting4 ,reader1 ,i do not ask you to imitate this veteran matron2 for it would be too much to ask of any individual in any age1 especially the present4 ,but ,i ask you1 and with great earnestness1 to acquire the power of self-dependence--and to do it immediately4 ,make it a matter of conscience4 ,bear constantly in mind1 that whatever has been done1 may be done4 ,shame on those who1 knowing the value of self-dependence1 and having the power to acquire it1 pass through life so shiftless1 that they cannot do the least thing without aid--the aid of a host of relatives or menials4 ,it is quite time that woman should understand her power and her strength1 and govern herself accordingly4 ,it is quite time for her to stand upright in her native1 heaven-born dignity1 and show to the world--and to angels1 even1 as well as to men--for what woman was made1 and wherein1 consists her true excellence4 ,,chapter ,,xi4 ,,reasoning ,,and ,,originality ,females not expected to be reasoners4 ,effects of modern education on the reasoning powers4 ,education of former days1 illustrated by an anecdote of as octogenarian4 ,extracts from her correspondence4 ,difficulty in getting the ears of mankind4 ,the reasoning powers in man susceptible of cultivation indefinitely4 ,reflections on the importance of maternal effort and female education4 ,i know not why a young woman should not reason correctly as well as a young man4 ,and yet ,i must confess that1 some how or other1 a masculine seems to be often attached to the thought of strong reasoning powers in the female sex4 ,to say of such or such a young woman1 ,she is a bold and powerful reasoner--would it not be a little uncommon8 ,would it be received as a compliment8 ,would it not be regarded as a little out of the way--and1 to coin a term1 as rather unfeminine8 ,perhaps the habit of boldly tracing effects up to their causes1 and of reasoning upon them1 is a little more uncommon among the young misses of our boarding schools and our more fashionable families1 both of city and country1 than among those of the plainer sort of people4 ,certain it is1 at all events1 that the former would be regarded as reasoning persons with much more reluctance than the latter4 ,and yet the former has probably been taught mathematics1 and all those sciences which are supposed to develope and strengthen the mental faculties1 and give energy to the reasoning powers4 ,for myself1 ,i have many doubts whether we are really--whether the sex themselves are1 ,i mean--so much the gainers by the superficial knowledge of modern days1 which tends to the exclusion1 in the result1 of that good old fashioned education to house-work1 which was given by the mothers of ,new ,england1 in the days of her primitive beauty and glory4 ,then were our young women1 for the times1 reasoning women2 then were they good for something4 ,a few of those precious relics of a comparatively golden age1 have come down nearly to our own times4 ,i have even seen several of them since the beginning of the nineteenth century4 ,there is one of this description1 more than eighty years of age1 now living with a son of hers in one of the ,middle ,states4 ,her sphere of action1 however1 in the days of her activity1 lay not there1 but on one of those delightful hills which are found at the termination of the ,green ,mountain range1 in ,new ,england4 ,there1 in her secluded country residence1 among plain people1 and with only plain means1 with her husband absent much of the time1 she educated--not instructed1 merely1 nor brought up at school1 but educated--a large family of children1 most of whom live to bless her memory and the world4 ,so devoted was this woman to her household duties1 and to the right education of her family1 that for eleven of the first and hardest years of her life1 she never for once left the hill on which she dwelt--a mile or so in extent4 ,and yet this female was a woman of reasoning powers superior to those of most men4 ,she understood1 thoroughly1 every ordinary topic of conversation1 and could discuss well any subject which came within her grasp4 ,she has been for a few years past1 one of my most regular and most valued correspondents2 and nothing but her great age and great reluctance to put pen to paper1 would1 ,i presume1 prevent her from writing more frequently than she is accustomed to do4 ,as a specimen of her style1 ,i venture to insert a paragraph or two from her letters4 ,the first was written when she was in her eightieth year4 ,i am glad to find you in the enjoyment of health--able to be busily and usefully employed for this and coming generations4 ,i would like1 if it was ,god's will1 to be usefully employed in such ways1 too2 but though ,i am so greatly favored as to be able to think as well as ever1 ,i cannot work with my wonted facility and despatch4 ,i cannot 'labor with my hands1' so as to have 'to give to him that needeth1' because my hands are weak and lame4 ,once ,i could fill six sheets of letter paper in a day1 without weariness2 but now1 if ,i can fill this sheet1 decently1 in two days1 ,i am ready to boast of it1 as an achievement4 ,when ,i look back and see my former activity1 ,i wonder if that was myself1 and am almost ready to doubt my identity4 ,but every thing in its course2 first rising into life1 then decaying4 ,the world itself is not to stand forever2 and of course the things animate and inanimate which are upon it1 must partake of its transitoriness4 ,again1 when she was within a few weeks of eighty years of age1 7which was in ,january1 #ahch17 she wrote to me in the following vein of playfulness3 ,as ,i can invent nothing new1 ,i must utter such truisms as ,i have picked up by the way1 in almost eighty years2 for you say to me1 write--and of course ,i obey1 and scribble on4 ,now ,i say to you--and may ,i say it to ,mrs4 ,a4 too8--,,write4 ,write very sensibly1 by the way2 for old as ,i am1 ,i am a sharp critic4 ,i read in my early days ,lord ,kaimes' ,elements1 and ,i have been working up these elements ever since2 and if ,i cannot invent1 ,i can understand what is fairly presented to me3 so you will receive this as a caution4 ,but don't be afraid6 ,i'll tell you another thing1 of which perhaps you are not aware3 ,i had rather have one letter warm from the heart1 than a dozen from the head4 ,i was delighted to think you were pleased with my philosophy--for ,i never dreamed ,i uttered any4 ,as to my politics1 ,i was pretty well drilled in the school of ,washington1 after seeing through the revolutionary struggle2 and that was no mean school1 ,i assure you4 ,washington was a statesman6 ,i see but few now2 but when ,i do see one1 ,i make him my best courtesy4 ,and as to my theology1 ,i learned that from the pilgrim fathers4 ,now whether those of my younger readers of a new generation1 who1 perhaps1 almost despise both letter writing and reasoning1--whether any of these1 ,i say1 will see either form or comeliness--any thing inviting--in these paragraphs1 ,i cannot say4 ,but ,i can tell them1 at once1 that ,i do2 and it sometimes seems to me1 that no greater human benefaction could be offered to mankind1 than the application of those principles and methods of female education1 in family and school1 which would produce such minds and bodies as those of which we have1 in the case of this aged woman1 an example6 ,perhaps1 however1 it is almost useless to hope for better times1 at present1 for reasons1 among others1 which are given in another place by my aged correspondent4 ,the mischief now-a-days1 she says1 is1 that every one is on a railroad1 impelled by steam power1 and cannot stop2 so all speak at once1 and none hear4 ,what a state is this6 ,but it is true of the world in general4 ,i see but few who are self-possessed4 ,i wonder when ,i see any one who is so2 and ,i wonder if ,i am so myself4 ,but we are not only unwilling to stay to hear--we are unwilling to stay to teach4 ,it would be no hard matter for parents and teachers--especially by beginning early--to establish in the young of both sexes1 habits of right reasoning4 ,i am afraid1 however1 that parents and teachers themselves do not perceive the value of such a habit1 and that they are not likely to do so for some time to come4 ,all1 however1 which remains for me to do1 ,i must do4 ,this is1 to press upon the few whose ear ,i can gain1 the importance of this part of self-education4 ,do not despise the idea of reasoning on subjects which come before you2 nor think it masculine or old fashioned4 ,not only accustom yourselves to reason1 but to reason on every thing4 ,there is almost as great a difference between a young woman who takes all things upon trust1 scarcely knowing that she can use her own powers in the investigation of truth1 and one who has been1 like my worthy and venerable correspondent1 in the habit of observing and reasoning seventy or eighty years1 as there is between a ,sam ,patch and a ,bowditch--or a ,hottentot and a ,newton4 ,would that our young women knew this1 and would conduct themselves accordingly6 ,there is nothing in the wide field of human improvement which better repays the labor of cultivation1 than the reasoning powers4 ,nor is there any thing which does more to perfect and adorn the human being4 ,with the highest and noblest rational powers1 the human family--especially the female part of it--seems to me to accomplish least happily the great work for which they were created1 than any other earthly existences4 ,the little all of knowledge which pertains to the lower animals1 flows in at once1 says ,dr4 ,young2 whereas1 were man to live coeval with the sun1 the patriarch pupil might be learning still1 yet dying1 leave his lessons half unlearnt4 ,and yet the former fill1 happily1 the sphere which ,god in nature assigned them2 while the latter1 with all his capacities and powers of reason1 conscience1 c41 wanders incessantly from his orbit1 and must be a most unsightly spectacle to ,god and holy angels1 and all other high and noble intelligences4 ,when will man return to his native sphere1 and the moral and intellectual world move in due harmony and happiness1 like the physical8 ,when will each moral creation of the ,divine ,architect1 move round its great spiritual centre1 with the same beauty1 and majesty1 and glory1 which is manifest in the motions of the physical world8 ,never1 ,i am sure1 till mothers and teachers1 who are1 as it seems1 the authors alike of human happiness and human misery1 come up to their appropriate work2 and never will there be such mothers1 till young women are better trained4 ,and the latter will never be better trained1 till the work of education1 especially of self-education1 is undertaken with much better views of its objects and ends1 and with a thousand times more earnestness and perseverance1 and ,i might even say enthusiasm1 than has as yet been manifested4 ,,chapter ,,xii4 ,,invention4 ,why woman has invented so few thing4 ,abundant room for the exercise of her inventive powers4 ,hints4 ,particular need of a reform in cookery4 ,appeal to young women on this subject4 ,is it not strange1 that in a world where have been sought out--time immemorial--so many inventions1 so few should as yet have been originated by woman8 ,what have the inventive powers of woman accomplished1 even within what have been usually regarded as her own precincts8 ,has she invented many special improvements in the art of house-keeping8 ,have the labors of knitting1 sewing1 making1 mending1 washing1 cooking1 c41 been materially facilitated1 or rendered more effective1 by her ingenuity8 ,has she done much to advance the important art of bread-making towards perfection8 ,why has she not done more8 ,is genius confined to our sex8 ,nay1 is there even no common ingenuity out of the range of our own walks8 ,has not the young woman1 when she begins the world1 the same mental faculties1 in number and kind1 with the young man8 ,how happens it1 then1 that the world is filled with inventions1 and so few of them originated by woman8 ,there is a wide range for improvement in that department of human labor which has usually been confined to the female sex--especially in the department of infant education4 ,nor is there any department in which invention would tell with so much efficiency in the cause of human happiness1 as in that4 ,let our young women consider this2 and let them resolve on inventing something in their oven particular sphere1 which shall turn to the general account4 ,when ,i speak of the appropriate sphere of woman1 and of her taxing her powers of invention there1 ,i would by no means indulge myself in any narrow or circumscribed views in regard to her field of operation4 ,i should have no sort of objection to the application of her inventive powers to the work of facilitating the usual labors of the other sex--particularly in the departments of agriculture and horticulture4 ,but ,i do not perceive any necessity for this4 ,i believe there is work enough--profitable and philanthropic work1 too--to task woman's powers of invention for many centuries1 without her going out of her appropriate sphere4 ,in the art of cookery especially--which certainly has a great deal to do with physical education and physical improvement--there is great room for the exercise of her inventive powers4 ,this important art is1 as yet1 entirely in its infancy2 and where any progress has been made1 it has been chiefly in a wrong direction1 and under the guidance of wrong principles4 ,be it yours1 young women1 to give this matter a right direction1 and to bring it to bear as efficiently on the happiness of mankind1 as it has hitherto on their slow destruction4 ,,chapter ,,xiii4 ,,observation ,,and ,,reflection4 ,advice of ,dr4 ,dwight4 ,other counsels to the young4 ,some persons of both sexes are always seeing1 but never reflecting4 ,an object deserving of pity4 ,zimmerman's views4 ,reading to get rid of reflection4 ,worse things still4 ,keep your eyes open1 was the reiterated counsel of a distinguished theologian1 of this country--the late ,dr4 ,timothy ,dwight--to a young student of his2 and it was1 in the main1 very wholesome advice4 ,and in so far as it is wholesome for young men1 ,i do not see but it is equally so for young women4 ,your countenance open1 your thoughts close1 you will go safe through the world--was the advice of another individual1 of less eminence1 to a young friend of his2 and did it not savor a little too much of selfishness1 and perhaps of concealment1 it would1 like the advice of ,dr4 ,dwight1 be worthy of careful consideration4 ,it does not partake quite enough of the gospel spirit and sentiment--,as a man hath received1 so let him give4 ,it encourages us to get wisdom1 but not to communicate it4 ,i have said that the advice of ,dr4 ,dwight was1 in the main1 wholesome4 ,the only objection that can be made to it is1 that it gives no encouragement to reflection4 ,some may suppose it to mean1 that observation1 or seeing1 is every thing4 ,now there are those who appear to see too much4 ,they always have their eyes open4 ,they are never satisfied otherwise4 ,they absolutely hate all reflection4 ,of this description of persons--,i am sorry to say it--our young women furnish a full proportion4 ,not a very small number of the female sex are so educated1 that it is quite painful for them to turn the current of their thoughts inward3--they will do almost any thing in the world1 not absolutely criminal1 to prevent it4 ,it cannot1 indeed1 be quite said1 that they observe too much2 but it is perfectly safe to say1 that they see too much4 ,if they should see much less with their eyes1 and the soul were left to its own reflections1 the result would be1 no doubt1 exceedingly happy4 ,solitude is as necessary as action2 and to both sexes4 ,no person is more pitiable than the individual of either sex--and such individuals are by no means scarce in our own-who cannot be easy unless perpetually running to see some new sight1 or1 like the ,athenians of old1 to hear or to tell some new thing2 who is no where so happy as when in company1 and no where so miserable as when alone4 ,zimmerman1 in his work on ,solitude--a pleasant book1 by the way1 notwithstanding its gloomy name--has some very appropriate and useful remarks on the advantages of being by ourselves a part of the time1 as a means of improvement4 ,should any of my young readers be sorely afflicted with the disease ,i have just mentioned-a dread of themselves1 or of their own thoughts1 rather--,i beg them to read ,zimmerman4 ,but read him1 if you read him at all1 very thoroughly4 ,some persons read solely to get rid of reflection4 ,worse than this1 even2 some persons read1 work and play--and ,i had almost said1 go to church1 and put themselves in the attitude of prayer and praise--to get rid of themselves and their reflections4 ,who will show us any good thing8 is their constant cry3 not1 ,who will lead us1 by external agencies1 or by any other means1 to sound and useful reflection4 ,who will show us ourselves8 is a cry which1 among the young women of ,new ,england1 as well as those of most other countries1 is too seldom heard4 ,the best advice ,i can give to such persons--next to that given in the ,sermon on the ,mount1 where they are directed to enter into their closet--is1 to read with great care1 or rather to study1 ,watts on the ,improvement of the ,mind4 ,that is a work which has probably done as much good in the way of which ,i am now speaking1 as any book--the ,bible excepted--in the ,english language4 ,,chapter ,,xiv4 ,,detraction ,,and ,,scandal4 ,universal prevalence of detraction and slander4 ,proofs ,shakspeare4 ,burns the poet4 ,self-knowledge1 how much to be desired4 ,reference to the work of ,mrs4 ,opie--to our own hearts--to the ,bible4 ,let it not be supposed1 for one moment1 that ,i consider young women as more generally in the habit of detraction than other people2 for ,i venture on no comparisons of the kind4 ,all ,i presume to take for granted is1 that they are often exceedingly faulty in this respect1 and need counsel and caution4 ,were there any doubts on the latter point1 one would think they might very readily be removed by reading the excellent work of ,amelia ,opie1 entitled1 ,detraction ,displayed2 or1 a ,cure for ,scandal4 ,this detraction or scandal is so common every where in life1 that multitudes are addicted to it without the shadow of a suspicion that they are so4 ,thousands and thousands of young women whose hearts would recoil at the bare recital of deeds of butchery and blood--nay1 who would faint at the sight of the severities1 not to say cruelties1 which1 under the guise of parental discipline1 or on the plea of authority1 are often and hourly inflicted on the bodies of young and old--who will yet rob and murder their unoffending neighbors4 ,for there is no little truth in what ,shakspeare says so pungently-- ,who steals my purse1 steals trash2 'tis something1 nothing2 ',twas mine1 't is his1 it may be slave to thousands3 ,but he that filches from me my good name1 ,robs me of that which not enriches him1 ,and makes me poor indeed4 ,nor is there less of truth in what the evangelist says1 that whoso hateth his brother 7and does not a slanderer hate87 is a murderer4 ,i know it may seem harsh to fasten on any class of the community1 and above all1 on the young of either sex1 the charge of robbery or murder4 ,but is it not proper that the truth should be told8 ,and if there is such a propensity in us to competition in its varied forms1 that not only thoughts but words of detraction are1 as it were1 forever on our thoughtless tongues and lips1 and we will not1 though often warned1 set a guard over the latter1 is it not right that we should be represented as the robbers of reputation8 ,and if there is such a disposition to try to be first in the community1 and to compel those around us to take the second place--the lower seat--as generates envy and hatred--the seeds of murder--is it not right to warn the young of their danger8 ,and when we find them callous to our representations of the truth--when we find their hearts almost as unmoved as the firm rocks they tread on1 notwithstanding our most faithful exhibitions of human depravity1 as is evinced by the slander1 the detraction and the calumny which every where prevail1 and which many must see1 as in a glass1 to prevail in their own bosoms1 while yet their very blood recoils at the tales of imaginary wo from the pen of ,bulwer1 or some other novelist of kindred fame--is it not proper to remind people of what the evangelist says of hatred1 that it is murder8 ,burns1 the poet1 sought some power who would bestow on us the gift to see ourselves as others see us4 ,poor ,burns6 this was as high as he could be expected to go4 ,but how much more to be desired is it1 that we could see ourselves as ,god sees us8 ,not indeed at once1 lest the very sight should sink us1 forthwith1 into everlasting night2 but by degrees1 rather1 as we may be able to endure it4 ,how much to be desired is it1 ,i say1 especially by the young1 that we might see how prone we are to enter into competition1 particular or general1 with the community2 and how apt we are1 with almost every breath1 and in almost every conceivable form1 to throw the good character1 and merits1 and success1 even1 of others into the shade4 ,how can those whose young hearts beat high in anticipation of a good name1 even in this world1 be willing to jeopardize their character by the commission of so much meanness6 ,i need not enter into particulars1 especially when the invaluable work of ,mrs4 ,opie is before the world4 ,let me refer those who entertain doubts whether1 after all1 ,i am not among the very sort of detractors whom ,i am censuring with so much severity--and whether1 what ,i complain of in the individual1 as abusive on here and there a neighbor or acquaintance1 ,i am not pouring1 by wholesale1 and with a spirit not a whit better1 upon a whole community1--let me refer all such1 ,i say1 to that invaluable work4 ,let me also refer them to themselves4 ,i am sure no one can carefully examine and analyze her own most secret feelings without discovering in herself the spirit of detraction in some form or other1 if it be only in the form of genteel slander1 envy or discontent4 ,if there be those who do not find it so with themselves1 and who say that however it may be with others1 they are not thus circumstanced or thus guilty1 ,i pity them most sincerely1 as grossly ignorant of themselves4 ,such persons ,i have only and lastly to refer to that volume of ,divine ,truth1 which assures us that the heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked2 and which asks1 with the most pertinent significance1 not to say eloquence-,,who ,,can ,,know ,,it8 ,,chapter ,,xv4 ,,the ,,right ,,use ,,of ,,time4 ,great value of moments4 ,an old maxim4 ,wasting shreds of time4 ,time more valuable than money4 ,what are the most useful charities4 ,doing good by proxy4 ,value of time for reflection4 ,doing nothing4 ,rendering an account of our time at the last tribunal4 ,on this subject--the right use of time--sermons1 not to say volumes1 without number1 have been written2 and yet it is still true1 as an eminent poet has well said1 that the individual is yet unborn who duly weighs an hour4 ,but my business is not so much to dwell at large on the value of time in its larger divisions1 such as days and hours1 as to urge1 in the first place1 an attention to moments4 ,take care of the pence1 says an old but just maxim1 and the pounds will take care of themselves2 and it is somewhat so in regard to time4 ,take care of the moments1 and the hours and days will take care of themselves4 ,not1 indeed1 that hours and even days are not wasted1 and worse than wasted2 but the great error is1 in disregarding the value and slighting the use of those smaller fragments of which hours1 days and years are made4 ,show me the individual1 young or old1 who sets any thing like a just value on moments of time1 and you will show me the person who values1 in a proper manner1 its larger divisions4 ,i have ventured upon this hackneyed subject1 because ,i have often thought that young women--more1 if possible1 than most other young persons--need to be reminded of the unspeakable importance of moments4 ,it is only a minute or two1 many will say1 or seem to say2 and so they let time pass unemployed4 ,but these leisure moments are frequently recurring2 and the more they are slighted and wasted1 the more they will be4 ,and what is worse1 she who frequently says1 ,it is only a minute-and who makes this serve as an apology for wasting it--will soon extend the same apology to much larger portions of time4 ,the current of human nature is ever downward3 let those who love improvement and desire to be improved1 remember it is so2 and let them ever be mindful1 in this respect1 of their danger4 ,there are thousands who suffer themselves to waste shreds of time which might be applied to the attainment of knowledge--valuable knowledge--or to the work of doing good in a world where so much good needs to be done1 who would not be willing to waste the smallest sum of money4 ,i would not speak lightly of the habit of wasting money2 but it must be admitted by all1 that she who wastes1 without remorse of conscience1 her precious moments which might be usefully employed--if not in action1 at least in conversation1 or reading1 or reflection--and yet would not1 on any account1 waste a cent of money1 is justly chargeable1 in a moral point of view1 with straining out a gnat1 and swallowing a camel4 ,for it should never be forgotten1 that however valuable money may be1 time is much more so4 ,it is much more so1 even as a means of doing good4 ,there are very many persons1 it is true1 who seem to think otherwise4 ,they seem not to think that they can do good with any thing but money4 ,let us reflect1 however1 that no charity is more truly valuable1 than visiting and aiding the sick1 encouraging the depressed1 instructing the ignorant1 c4 ,now is not she who does the latter1 more sure of doing good than she who only gives the former8 ,in the latter case1 she bestows the very thing which is truly needful2 in the former case1 she only bestows that which is a means of doing good4 ,these means may or may not be properly applied2 of this the donor cannot be certain4 ,but when1 instead of giving money or doing good by proxy1 she does it herself1 the work is done1 and done in her own way3 and if not done well1 she is responsible4 ,she is not made1 in that case1 responsible for her neighbors4 ,but is all time wasted that is not spent in action1 as some of my remarks might seem to imply8 ,by no means4 ,i have already spoken1 in this chapter1 of the use of time for reflection2 and in a preceding one1 have dwelt more especially on the value of solitude at certain seasons4 ,what ,i mean to urge is1 the folly of trifling away time in absolutely doing nothing4 ,there is a sort of listlessness--or1 perhaps1 more properly1 reverie--in which many indulge1 which is as sinful as it is unprofitable2 and there are modes of thinking and subjects of thought1 which are1 to say the least1 unworthy of a rational1 intelligent and immortal spirit4 ,i am not sure that there are not times--very short seasons1 ,i mean--during our waking hours1 even with those who are in tolerable health1 when we best serve ,god and our fellow men by doing absolutely nothing at all4 ,i am not sure1 ,i say1 that thus may not be the case4 ,still1 if it is so1 we should be exceedingly careful not to run into excess in this respect--an error which seems to be almost inevitable4 ,for one who spends too little time in doing nothing1 it is believed a thousand spend too much in this way4 ,and let it never be forgotten1 that not only for every idle word1 but for every misspent moment1 we are1 according to ,scripture1 to render an account in the day when ,god will judge the secrets of each heart1 according to the gospel of our ,lord and ,saviour ,jesus ,christ4 ,how valuable--how immensely valuable--will a few1 only1 of those moments which we now let slip with so much readiness1 appear to us in that great day6 ,what would we not then give for them8 ,five minutes here1 spent in listlessness1 or in doing absolutely nothing2 five there1 spent in idle or wicked conversation2 and five there1 in unnecessary attentions to our person or dress--how will the ghosts1 as it were1 of these departed seasons1 haunt and torture us6 ,though willing to give worlds to recall them--not only for the sake of our own souls1 but for those of others--thousands of worlds cannot buy them4 ,no1 not one solitary five minutes4 ,happy is she who wastes not1 that she may want not1 here or hereafter4 ,,chapter ,,xvi4 ,,love ,,of ,,domestic ,,concerns4 ,reasons for loving domestic life4 #a4 ,young women should have some avocation4 ,labor regarded as drudgery4 #b4 ,domestic employment healthy4 #c4 ,it is pleasant4 #d4 ,it affords leisure for intellectual improvement4 #e4 ,it is favorable to social improvement4 #f4 ,it is the employment assigned them by ,divine ,providence1 and is eminently conducive to moral improvement4 ,the moral lessons of domestic life4 ,a well ordered home a miniature of heaven4 ,i have incidentally made a few remarks on this subject elsewhere2 but its importance demands a further and more attentive consideration4 ,there are numerous reasons which might be mentioned1 why a young woman ought to cultivate a love of domestic life1 and of domestic concerns2 but ,i shall only advert to a few of them4 #a4 ,every young woman should have some avocation1 or calling4 ,the ,jews formerly had a proverb1 that whoever of their sons was not bred to a trade1 was bred to the gallows2 and both ,mohammedans and ,pagans have maxims among them which amount to the same thing4 ,but is that which is so destructive to the character of young men--,i mean the want of proper employment--entirely harmless to young women8 ,it surely cannot be4 ,true it is1 and deeply to be regretted1 that there is a fashionable feeling abroad1 which is the reverse of all this4 ,both men and women1 in fashionable life1 are apt to regard all labor--not only manual1 but mental--as mere drudgery4 ,they will labor1 perhaps1 if they cannot help it2 but seldom1 if they can4 ,or at least1 this seems to be their feeling when they begin a course of industrious action4 ,some1 it is confessed1 finally become so much accustomed to action1 that they continue it1 either as a matter of mere habit1 or because its discontinuance would now render them as miserable as they were in breaking up their natural indolence1 and in forming their present industrious habits4 #b4 ,she should love the concerns and cares of domestic life1 because no ordinary employment contributes more1 on the whole1 to female health4 ,i do not mean to say1 that there is no other kind of employment which could be rendered equally healthy with doing house-work2 but only that1 as a whole1 and especially in the present state of public sentiment1 this is decidedly the best4 ,perhaps1 in some circumstances1 moderate labor--labor proportioned to her strength-in the field1 or in the garden1 might be healthier1 were she trained to it2 but as things and customs now are1 this can hardly be done4 #c4 ,the employment is a pleasant one4 ,it has at once all the advantages of a shelter from the severe cold of the winter1 and of seclusion from the sultry sun of summer1 and the storms of winter and summer both4 ,footnote3 ,perhaps it may be said1 that woman actually suffers more from the extremes of heat and cold1 than man1 notwithstanding her seclusion1 ,this may be true2 but ,i still think her constitution is not quite as liable to injury1 from the weather1 as that of man2 besides which1 she is rather less liable to accidents4 ,and not only is the house-keeper favored in these respects1 but in many others4 ,a pleasant1 well ordered home1 is perhaps the most perfect representation of the felicity of the heaven above1 which the earth affords4 ,at any rate1 it is a source of very great happiness2 and woman1 when she is what she should be1 is thus made a conspicuous agent in communicating that happiness4 ,are not1 then1 home1 and the domestic concerns of home1 desirable8 ,are they not agreeable8 ,or if not1 should not every young woman strive to make them so8 ,how then does it happen that an idea of meanness is attached to them8 ,how does it happen that almost every young woman who can1 gets rid of them--as almost every young man does of farming and other manual labor4 #d4 ,home affords to young women the means and opportunities of intellectual improvement4 ,i do not mean to affirm1 that the progress they can make in mere science1 amid domestic concerns1 will be quite as great in a given time--say one year--as it might be in many of our best schools4 ,but ,i do mean to say1 that it might be rapid enough for every practical purpose4 ,i might say1 also1 that young women who study a little every day under the eye of a judicious mother1 and teach that little to their brothers and sisters1 will be more truly wise at the end of their pupilage1 than they who only study books in the usual old fashioned--,i might say1 rather1 new fashioned--manner4 ,it is in these circumstances more strikingly true than elsewhere1 that ,teaching1 we give2 and giving1 we retain4 #e4 ,but once more4 ,she who is employed in the domestic circle1 is more favorably situated--,i mean1 if the domestic circle is what it should be--for social improvement1 than she could be elsewhere4 ,she may not1 it is true1 hold so much converse on the fashions--or be a means of inventing1 or especially of retailing1 so much petty scandal--as in some other situation1 or in other circumstances4 ,still1 the society of home will be better and more truly refined1 than if it were more hollow1 and affected1 and insincere--in other words1 made up of more fashionable materials4 ,if to be fashionable is to distort nature as much as possible--and if the most fashionable society is that which is thus distorted in the highest degree--then it must be admitted that home cannot always be the best place for the education of young women4 #f4 ,but1 lastly1 young women should love domestic life1 and the care and society of the young1 because it is1 without doubt1 the intention of ,divine ,providence that they should do so2 and because home1 and the concerns of home1 afford the best opportunities and means of moral improvement4 ,the prerogative of woman--the peculiar province which ,god in nature has assigned her--has been already alluded to with sufficient distinctness4 ,let every reader1 then1 follow out the hint1 and ask herself whether it is not important that she should love the place and circumstances thus assigned her2 and whether she who hates them1 is likely to derive from them the great moral lessons they are eminently designed to inculcate4 ,is it asked what moral lessons1 so mightily important1 can be learned in the nursery and in the kitchen8 ,in return1 ,i may ask1 what lessons of instruction are there which may not1 be learned there1 and what moral virtues may not there be cultivated8 ,each family is a world in miniature2 and all the necessary trials of the temper and of the character1 are usually found within its circle4 ,are we the slaves of appetite8 ,here is the place for learning the art of self-government4 ,are we fretful8 ,here we may learn patience3 for a great fund of patience is often demanded2 and the more so as we are apt1 here1 to be off our guard1 and to yield to our unhappy feelings4 ,there are thousands who succeed very well in governing themselves--their temper and their passions--while the eye of the world is upon them1 who1 nevertheless1 fail most culpably in this respect1 when at home1 secluded1 as they seem to think themselves1 from observation4 ,hence the importance of great effort to keep ourselves in subjection in these circumstances2 and hence1 too1 the value of a well ordered and happy home4 ,are we over-fond of excitement8 ,home is a sufficient cure for this--or may be made so to those who ardently desire that it should be4 ,are we desirous of forming our character upon the model of heaven8 ,we are assured1 from the ,author of ,holy ,writ1 that the kingdom of heaven consists in that simplicity1 confidence1 faith and love1 which distinguish the child4 ,in short--to repeat the sentence--there is no place on earth so nearly resembling the heaven above1 as a well ordered and happy family4 ,if your lot is cast in such a family1 young reader1 be thankful for the favor1 and strive to make the most of it4 ,not merely as a preparation for standing at the head of such a family yourself2 not merely as a preparation for the work of teaching--although for this avocation ,i know of nothing better2 not merely because it is your duty1 and you feel that you must do it2 but because it is for your happiness--yes1 even for your life4 ,all character is formed in the school of trial2 all good or valuable character1 especially4 ,and--,i repeat the sentiment--in no place or department of this school are circumstances so favorable for such a purpose1 as what may1 emphatically1 be termed the home department4 ,the family and the church are ,god's own institutions4 ,all else1 is more or less of human origin3 not1 therefore1 of necessity1 useless--but more or less imperfect4 ,she who would obey the will of ,god in forming herself according to the divine mode1 must learn to value those institutions1 in some measure1 as they are valued by ,him1 and love them with a degree of the same love wherewith ,he loves them4 ,it will here be seen that ,i value domestic avocations so highly--giving them1 as ,i do1 the preference over all other female employments--not as an end1 but as a means4 ,it is because they secure1 far better--other things being alike--the grand result at which every female should perpetually aim--the attainment of excellence4 ,it is because they educate us far better1 physically1 socially and morally--and with proper pains and right management1 they might do so intellectually--than any other employment1 for the great future1 towards which we are every day hastening4 ,this home school is--after all which has been said of schools and education--not only the first and best school1 especially for females1 but emphatically the school4 ,it is the nursery from which are to be transplanted1 by and by1 the plants which are to fill1 and beautify1 and perfect--if any perfection in the matter is attained--all our gardens and fields1 and render them the fields and gardens of the ,lord4 ,ton much has not been--too much cannot be--said1 it appears to me1 in favor of this home department of female education--especially as a means of religious improvement4 ,young women thus trained1 would not only be most fitly prepared for the employment which1 as a general rule1 they are to follow for life1 but for every other employment to which they can1 in the good providence of ,god1 ever be called4 ,no matter what is to be their situation--no matter even if it is merely mechanical1 as in some factory1 or as an amanuensis--this apprenticeship in the family is not only highly useful1 but1 as it seems to me1 indispensable4 ,is not mind1 and health1 and self-government--yes1 and self-knowledge1 too--as indispensable to the individual who is confined to a bench or desk1 as to any person who is more active8 ,nay1 are they not even much more so--since sedentary employments have1 in themselves1 as respects mind and character1 a downward1 and narrowing1 and contracting tendency8 ,,chapter ,,xvii4 ,,frugality ,,and ,,economy4 ,economy becoming old fashioned4 ,the ,creator's example4 ,frugality and economy should be early inculcated4 ,spending two pence to save one1 not always wrong4 ,examples of disregarding economy4 ,wasting small things4 ,good habits as well as bad ones1 go by companies4 ,this chapter particularly necessary to the young4 ,frugality and economy of our grand-mothers4 ,economy is another old fashioned word1 which1 like the thing for which it stands1 is fast going into disrepute2 and in these days1 it will require no little moral courage in him who has any thing of reputation at stake1 to commend it--and above all1 to commend it to young women4 ,what have they to do with economy8 thousands might be disposed to ask1 were the subject urged upon their attention4 ,is there not something connected with the idea of economy1 which tends1 necessarily1 to narrow the mind and contract the heart8 ,this question1 too1 is often asked1 even by those whom age and experience should have taught better things4 ,i am pained to find the rising generation so prone to discard both frugality and economy1 and to regard them as synonymous with narrowness1 and meanness1 and stinginess4 ,there cannot possibly be a greater mistake4 ,may ,i not ask1 without incurring the charge of irreverence1 if there is any thing more obvious1 in the works of the ,creator1 than his wonderful frugality and good economy8 ,where1 in his domain1 is any thing wasted8 ,where1 indeed1 is not every thing saved and appropriated to the best possible purpose8 ,and will any one presume to regard his operations as narrow1 or mean1 or stingy8 ,what can be more abundant1 for example1 than air and water8 ,yet is there one particle too much of either of them8 ,is there one particle more than is just necessary to render the earth what it was designed to be8 ,such a thing may be said1 ,i acknowledge1 by the ignorant1 and short-sighted1 and incautious4 ,they vent their occasional complaints1 even against the ,ruler of the skies1 because the windows of heaven are1 for a time1 shut up1 and the rain falls not2 and yet these very persons are constrained to admit1 in their more sober moments1 that all is ordered about right4 ,be this as it may1 however1 there can be no doubt that a just measure of frugality and economy is a cardinal virtue1 and should be early inculcated1 even though it cost us some time and effort4 ,a great deal has been said1 and no small number of words wasted1 in endeavoring to show the folly of spending two pence to save one2 whereas1 to do so1 in some circumstances1 may be our highest wisdom4 ,if it be important to learn the art of saving--the art of being frugal--then the art should be acquired1 even if it costs something in the acquisition4 ,no one thinks of reaping the full reward of adult labor in any occupation1 the moment he begins to put his hand to it1 as a mere apprentice4 ,does he not thus1 in learning his occupation or trade--especially during the first years--spend two pence to save one8 ,does not all preparation for the future1 obviously involve the same necessity8 ,i do not1 certainly undertake to say that it is always proper--or indeed1 that it is often so--to spend more1 in order to save less4 ,i only contend that it is sometimes so2 and that to do so1 may not only be a matter of propriety1 but also a duty4 ,let me give an example4 ,young women are sometimes apt to acquire a habit of being wasteful in regard to small things1 such as pins1 needles1 c4 ,yet1 to teach them1 in these days of refinement1 always to pick up pins when they see them lying before them on the floor or elsewhere1 and put them into a pin-cushion1 or in some suitable place1 would no doubt be considered as quite unreasonable4 ,but would not such a habit be exceedingly useful8 ,am ,i to be told that it would be a great waste1 since the value of the time consumed in thus picking up pins and needles1 would be more than twice the value of the articles saved8 ,am ,i to be told that this is not only spending two pence to save one1 but that it is actually wicked8 ,if so1 by what art shall a wasteful young woman be taught good habits8 ,i would certainly urge a young girl who was careless about pins1 needles1 c41 to form the habit of picking up every one she found4 ,i would do so1 to prevent her prodigal habits from extending to other matters1 and affecting and injuring her whole character4 ,but ,i would also do so1 to cure the bad habit already existing4 ,more than even this2 ,i advise every young woman who finds herself addicted to habits which are opposed to a just frugality and economy1 to begin the work of eradicating them1 without waiting for the promptings of her mother and friends4 ,nor let her1 for a moment1 fear the imputation of meanness2 it is sufficient for her that she is doing what she knows to be right4 ,good habits1 as well as bad ones1 like virtues and vices1 are apt to go in company4 ,if one is allowed1 others are apt to follow4 ,first1 those most nearly related2 next1 those more remotely so2 and finally1 perhaps1 the whole company4 ,i would not dwell long on a subject like this1 in a book for young women1 were ,i not assured that the case requires it4 ,i see young women every where1 especially among the middling and higher classes1 and in great numbers too1 exceedingly improvident2 and not a few of them1 wasteful4 ,the world seems to be regarded as a great store-house which can never be exhausted1 let them be as extravagant as they may4 ,they forget1 entirely1 the vulgar but correct adage1 that always taking out of the meal tub1 and never putting in1 soon comes to the bottom-and seem to take it for granted there is no bottom to their resources4 ,our grand-mothers--our great grand-mothers1 rather--were not ashamed of frugality or economy4 ,they were neither afraid nor unwilling to do what they knew to be right1 simply because it happened to be unfashionable4 ,i am not1 indeed1 either constitutionally or by age1 one of those who place the golden age exclusively in the past4 ,i can see errors in the conduct of our grand-mothers4 ,but ,i also see in them excellencies2 many virtues of the sterner1 more sober sort1 which have been bartered for modern customs--not to say vices--at a very great loss by the exchange4 ,what we have thus lost1 ,i should be glad1 were it possible1 to restore4 ,,chapter ,,xviii4 ,,system4 ,general neglect of system in families4 ,successful efforts of a few schools4 ,why the effects they produce a not permanent4 ,importance of right education4 ,here and there system may be found4 ,blessedness of having a mother who systematic4 ,let no person ever despair of reformation4 ,how to begin the work4 ,there is hardly any thing which the majority of our young women hate--frugality and economy1 and the study of themselves1 perhaps1 excepted--so much as system4 ,in this respect a few of our best schools have1 within a few years1 attempted something2 and1 in a few instances1 with success4 ,i could mention several schools for females1 whose teachers have done much more good by the habits of order and system they have inculcated and endeavored to form1 than by the sciences they have taught4 ,the tendency of this excellent feature of a few of our institutions is1 however1 pretty effectually counteracted by the general feeling of the public1 that the school is but a place of painful though necessary restraint2 and that when it is over1 study is over--and with it1 all the system which had been either inculcated or practised4 ,and though not a few who have been thus compelled to live by system1 for two or three years1 see plainly its excellent effects1 and both they and their parents acknowledge them1 still the school is no sooner terminated1 than every thing of the kind is very likely to become as though it had never been4 ,so long1 however1 as home is home1 and all the associations therewith are as delightful as they now are--and so long as the greater number of our families live at random1 regarding order as constraint1 and method and system as slavery--just so long will the feelings of the young of each rising generation1 revolt at every thing like order and system2 and though for the sake of peace1 as well as other and various reasons1 they may be willing to conform to both1 for a time1 yet will they sigh1 internally1 for the hour when their bondage shall cease1 and the day of their emancipation arrive4 ,it is not in human nature1 to look back to the scenes1 and customs1 and methods--if methods they deserve to be called1 where all is at random--of early life1 without a fondness for1 and an inward desire to return to them2 and there are few so hardened as not to do it whenever an opportunity occurs4 ,how important1 then--how supremely so--is right education6 ,how important to sow1 in the earliest years1 the seeds of a love of order and system6 ,how important to young women1 especially1 that this work should not be deferred2 since if it is so1 it is most likely to be deferred forever4 ,i know1 full well1 that here and there a house-keeper1 convinced in her conscience that she can do vastly more for herself and others1 as well as do it better1 by means of system1 than without it1 attempts something like innovation upon the usual random course which prevails about her4 ,she resolves to have her hours of labor1 her hours of recreation1 and her hours of reading and visiting4 ,she believes life is long enough for all the purposes of life4 ,she is resolved to be systematic on ,sabbath and on week days2 in the common details of the family2 in dress2 and in regard to the hours of rising1 meals and rest4 ,but she has a herculean task to accomplish--no small part of which is1 to bring her husband and the other members of her family to co-operate with her4 ,yet1 amid every discouragement1 she perseveres1 and at length succeeds4 ,is not such a victory worth securing8 ,let the young woman who has such a person as ,i have just described1 for her mother1 rejoice in it4 ,she can never be too grateful1 not only to her mother1 but to ,god4 ,her life is likely to be of thrice the usual value4 ,our daughters who are blessed with such mothers1 may become as polished corner stones in a temple--worthy of themselves1 of those who educate them1 and of ,god4 ,but let not those who have been less fortunate1 in respect to maternal training and influence1 utterly despair4 ,convinced of the general correctness of the views here advanced1 and desirous of entering on the work of reform1 let them take courage1 and begin it immediately4 ,though the mother1 by her influence in the early formation of character1 is almost omnipotent1 she is not quite so4 ,though the ,ethiopian cannot change his skin1 nor the leopard his spots1 still it is not utterly impossible for those to do well who have been long accustomed to do evil4 ,what has been done1 you know1 can be done4 ,make this maxim your motto1 and go forward in the work of self-education4 ,but remember to begin1 in the first place1 with the smaller matters of life2 and to conquer in one point or place of action1 before you begin with another4 ,and1 lastly1 remember not to rely wholly on your own strength4 ,you are1 indeed1 to work--and to work with all your might2 but it is always ,god that worketh in you1 when any thing effectual is accomplished1 in the way of improvement4 ,,chapter ,,xix4 ,,punctuality4 ,evil of being one minute too late4 ,examples to illustrate the importance of punctuality4 ,case of a mother at ,lowell4 ,her adventure4 ,general habits which led to such a disaster4 ,condition of a family trained to despise punctuality4 ,no system can be carried on without both order and punctuality4 ,i have already said something1 incidentally1 on both of these topics2 but their importance entitles them to a separate consideration4 ,the importance of strict punctuality could be shown by appealing to hundreds of authorities2 but ,i prefer an appeal to the good sense of my readers4 ,how painful it is1 in a thousand instances of life1 to be but one minute too late2 and how much evil it may1 indeed1 often does occasion1 both to ourselves and others6 ,think of the difference1 says a spirited writer1 between arriving with a letter one minute before the post-office is closed1 and arriving one minute after2 between being at the stage-office a quarter of an hour too soon1 and reaching there a quarter of an hour too late2 between shaking a friend heartily by the hand as he steps on board his vessel bound to the ,indies1 and arriving at the pier when the vessel is under weigh1 and stretching her wide canvass to the winds6 ,think of this1 and a thousand such instances1 and be determined1 through life1 to be in time4 ,allow me to illustrate the important subject of which ,i am now treating1 by the case of a young mother4 ,she wishes to go from ,boston to ,lowell4 ,she leaves ,boston in the cars which go at eleven1 and reach ,lowell soon after twelve4 ,she goes to spend the afternoon with a sick friend there1 resolving to return at five--the hour when the last cars leave ,lowell for ,boston4 ,her infant is left1 for the time1 in the hands of a maiden sister--the husband being engaged in his shop1 and hardly knowing of her departure4 ,she spends the afternoon with her friend1 and her services are very acceptable4 ,but ere she is aware1 the bell at the railroad depot rings for passengers to ,boston4 ,a few moments are spent in getting ready and in exchanging the parting salutation with those friends who1 though aware of the danger of her being left1 have not the honest plainness to urge her to make speed4 ,she is1 at length1 under way2 but on arriving at the depot1 lo6 the cars have started1 and are twenty or thirty rods distant4 ,what can she do8 ,time and tide1 and railroad cars1 wait for none4 ,it is in vain that she waves her handkerchief2 the swift-footed vehicles move on1 and are soon out of sight6 ,she returns1 much distressed1 to the house of her sick friend1 unfit to render her any further service-to say nothing of the mischief she is likely to do by exciting her painful sympathies4 ,but how and when is she to get home8 ,there are no public means of conveyance back to the city till to-morrow morning1 and the expense of a private conveyance seems to her quite beyond her means4 ,how could ,i be so late8 she says to herself4 ,how could ,i run the risk of being thus left8 ,why was ,i not in season8 ,what will my husband think--especially as ,i came off without saying any thing to him about coming8 ,but this1 though much to distress her1 is not all1 nor the most4 ,her poor bade6 what will become of that8 ,her friends endeavor to soothe her by diverting her mind--but to no purpose1 or nearly none3 she is half distracted1 and can do nothing but mourn over her folly in being so late4 ,but the weather is mild1 and all is propitious without1 except that it is likely to be rather dark2 and by means of the efforts of thoughtful friends1 a coach is fitted out with a careful driver1 to carry her home this very evening4 ,it will take five hours in all2 and as it is now six1 she will reach home at about eleven4 ,the infant will not greatly suffer before that time4 ,finding herself fairly on the road1 her feelings are somewhat composed1 and she just now begins to think what her husband will do1 when he comes from the shop at seven1 and finds she has not arrived4 ,she is afraid he will be at the extra pains and expense to come after her2 and perhaps in the darkness pass by her1 and go on to ,lowell4 ,and her fears are partly realized4 ,after much anxiety and some complaining--which1 however1 ,i will not undertake to justify--the husband is on the road with a vehicle1 going to ,lowell to assist her in getting home4 ,they meet about half way from place to place1 and the drivers recognize each other--though rather more than1 in the darkness1 could have been expected4 ,the coach from ,lowell returns1 and that from ,boston1 taking in both passengers1 wheels them back in haste to their home4 ,in their joy to find matters no worse1 they forget to recriminate each other1 and think only of the timid sister with whom the infant was left in charge3 for in the hurry of getting off1 the husband had made no provision for quieting her fears of being alone4 ,she passes the time1 however1 in much less mental agitation than might have been expected1 and takes as good care as she can1 of a fretful1 crying1 half-starved babe4 ,as the clock strikes one1 the family are all quiet in bed1 and endeavoring to sleep4 ,how much uneasiness is here caused by being just about one minute 7and no more7 too late6 ,and whence came it8 ,not by her not knowing she was running a risk by being tardy4 ,not that she had no apprehensions of evil4 ,not because her conscience was uneducated1 or unfaithful4 ,it was neither1 nor any of these4 ,there was1 in the first place1 a little want of decision4 ,she suffered herself to vacillate between a sense of duty and the inclination to say a few words more1 or bestow another parting kiss4 ,and in the second place1 it was the wretched habit she had always indulged1 of delaying and deferring every thing she put her head or her hand to1 till the very last moment4 ,i will give you a brief but correct account of her general habits4 ,not that the picture is a very uncommon one1 but that you may view it in connection with the anecdote ,i have related1 and thus get a tolerable idea of the inconveniences to which the wretched habit of which ,i have spoken1 is continually exposing her4 ,she makes it a rule--no1 ,i will not say that1 for she has no rules1 but she has a sort of expectation on the subject--to rise at five o'clock4 ,yet ,i do not suppose she is up at five1 six times in the year4 ,she is never awake at that timer or but seldom1 unless she is awakened4 ,her husband1 indeed1 makes it a sort of rule to wake her at that hour2 but he1 alas1 poor man6 has no roles for himself or others2 and if he undertakes to awaken her at five1 it is usually ten or fifteen minutes afterward2 and if she is let alone1 she is often in bed till half past five--oftener1 indeed1 than up earlier4 ,the breakfast hour is six2 but ,i never knew the family to sit down at six4 ,it is ten minutes1 fifteen minutes1 thirty minutes1 and sometimes forty-five minutes after six1 before the breakfast is on the table4 ,the fire will not burn1 and the tea is not ready2 or the milk or cream for the latter has not arrived2 or something or other is the matter--so she says1 and so she believes--and indeed sometimes so it is4 ,the dinner time is half past twelve-that is1 professedly so2 but it is not once in twenty times that they sit down much before one o'clock--and ,i have known it to be even later4 ,so it is with supper2 and ,i might add1 with every thing else4 ,if an engagement is made1 directly or indirectly1 positively or only implied1 it is never fulfilled at the time4 ,she is never in her seat at church1 till almost every body else is in1 and the services have commenced2 although the kind1 but too indulgent parson waits some five or ten minutes for his whole congregation--whom1 alas6 he has unwittingly trained to delay4 ,in short1 she does nothing1 and performs nothing1 punctually1 not even going to bed2 for this is deferred to a very late hour-sometimes till near midnight4 ,now herein is the secret--the foundation1 rather--of her trouble at ,lowell4 ,had she been trained to punctuality in other things1 she would1 in all probability1 have been punctual there4 ,the misfortune which ,i have described1 is but a specimen of what is ever and anon occurring in the history of her life4 ,nor are her sufferings--though they are severe--from her unhappy habit1 the end of the matter4 ,i have already more than intimated that her companion has caught the disease2 but it is still more visible in the conduct of her sons and daughters4 ,they1 like herself1 seldom do any thing at the proper time4 ,they are never punctual in their engagements1 nor decided in their conduct4 ,i know not1 however1 what the daughters may yet do--several of them being quite young4 ,if they should chance to meet with better instructions than they are accustomed to receive--should take warning1 and do all they can in the way of self-improvement--they may be able to break the chains of an inveterate and almost unconquerable habit1 and make themselves useful in their day and generation4 ,i do think1 most sincerely1 that if all the rest of the world were disorderly1 or fell short in matters of punctuality1 the young woman should not do so4 ,let her1 in every duty1 learn to be in time4 ,let her resolve to do every thing a little before the time arrives2 nothing1 a moment after it4 ,the keeper of a boarding house1 who is at the same time the principal of one of our most flourishing schools for both males and females1 makes it a point to have every one of his boarders in their seats at dinner1 when the clock strikes twelve1 which is the appointed hour4 ,and the late principal of a very highly distinguished female school in ,boston1 used to have every exercise regulated by a clock kept in the room2 and whatever else was going on--whether it was finished or unfinished--whenever the hour for another exercise arrived1 it was attended to4 ,the whole school1 as if with one impulse1 seemed to obey the hour1 rather than the teacher4 ,such order and punctuality1 every where and in every thing1 constitute the beauty of life2 and ,i was going to say1 the beauty of heaven--of which this life should be a sort of emblem4 ,heaven1 in any event1 is not only a world of order1 but of punctuality also2 and she who goes there1 must be prepared to observe both1 or it will be no heaven to her4 ,as ,i have strongly insisted in respect to the formation of other important habits1 so in regard to this4 ,it must be commenced in the smaller matters of life4 ,let the young woman be in time--that is1 be punctual--in the performance of what she regards as trifles1 and when she becomes a matron1 she will seldom be tardy in what are deemed the weightier matters4 ,i have spoken of the importance of punctuality1 and have strongly insisted that whatever is worth doing at all1 is worth doing well4 ,i am now about to insist1 with equal earnestness1 that what is worth beginning and performing well1 is worth doing thoroughly1 or finishing4 ,some young women never do any thing thoroughly--even the smallest matters4 ,all their lives long1 they live1 as it were1 by halves1 and do things by halves4 ,if they commence reading a book1 unless it is something very enticing and exciting1 they neither read it thoroughly nor finish it4 ,their dress is never put on thoroughly2 and even their meals are not thoroughly eaten4 ,in regard to what is last mentioned1 they fail in two respects4 ,either through fear that they shall be unfashionable1 if they use their teeth1 or from sheer carelessness in their habits1 they never masticate their food thoroughly2 and they never seem to get through eating4 ,the true way is1 to finish a meal in a reasonable time1 and then let the matter rest2 and never be found eating between meals4 ,whereas1 the class of persons of whom ,i am speaking1 seem never to begin or end a meal4 ,they are nibbling1 if food chance to fall in their way1 all their lives long4 ,but--to return to other habits than those which pertain to eating and drinking--this want of thoroughness1 of which ,i am speaking1 wherever it exists in a young woman1 will show itself in all or nearly all she does4 ,suppose she is washing dishes1 for example2 something is left unwashed which ought to have been washed2 something is left only partly washed2 or the whole being done in a hurry1 something is not set away in its place1 and along comes a child and knocks it over and breaks it4 ,perhaps site is sewing4 ,she is anxious to get her work along2 and though she know1 how it ought to be done1 she ventures to slight it especially if it is the property of another4 ,or having done it well till she comes near the end1 the place where1 perhaps1 every thing ought to be particularly firm and secure--ought to be done thoroughly--she leaves a portion of it half done2 and the garment gives way before it is half worn4 ,or she is cooking2 and though every thing else is well boiled1 a single article is not well done--which gives an appearance of negligence to the whole4 ,at any rate1 it is not done well2 and she gets the credit of not being a thorough house-keeper4 ,for who hath despised the day of small things8 is a scriptural inquiry on a most important subject2 and were it not likely to be construed into a want of reverence for sacred things1 the same inquiry might be made in regard to the matter before us4 ,there is a universal disposition abroad to despise small matters1 and to stigmatize him who defends their importance4 ,one might suppose a young woman would find out the mischiefs that result from a want of thoroughness1 by the inconvenience which inevitably results from it4 ,it is not very convenient or comfortable1 to be obliged to do a thing wholly over again1 or suffer from want1 because a piece of work1 very trifling in itself1 was not done thoroughly4 ,nor is it very convenient to go and wash one's hands every time a lamp is used1 because it was not thoroughly cleaned or duly put in order1 when it should have been4 ,nor is it easy to clean an elegant carpet which has become soiled1 or replace a valuable astral lamp1 or mirror1 which has been broken1 simply for the want of thorough attention in those who have the care of these things4 ,these little inconveniences1 constantly recurring1 might rouse a person to reflection1 one would think1 as effectually as occasional larger ones4 ,we do not1 however1 always find it so4 ,young people ought to consider what a host of evils sometimes result from a slight neglect4 ,the trite saying--,for want of a nail1 the shoe was lost2 for want of a shoe1 the horse was lost2 and for want of a horse1 the rider was lost--will1 however1 illustrate this part of my subject4 ,had the single nail which was omitted--the last one--been driven1 and driven properly2 had the work1 in short1 been done thoroughly1 the shoe1 horse and rider might all have been preserved4 ,do not dread the imputation of being over-nice or whimsical1 if you do your work thoroughly4 ,you must learn to regard your own sense of right--your regard to duty--as a thing of far more importance than either the sneers or the approbation of thousands of the unthinking4 ,i have heard an individual of great worth and respectability complain of a young friend of his1 because he made it a point to finish thoroughly every thing he undertook1 and charge him with having what he called a mania for finishing1 ,i remember1 too1 a very worthy1 and1 in the main1 excellent farmer1 who used to complain of a very conscientious son of his1 because1 forsooth1 he was determined to finish every thing he began1 in the best possible manner1 without paying much regard to the opinions of others4 ,but these facts only show that wise and good men may not fully understand the nature and power of habit--or the necessity of being thorough in small as well as larger matters4 ,the first individual ,i have named1 was forever suffering from his own want of thoroughness--and was miserable through life2 and the last would have been far happier all his life time1 had he been as much disposed to finish the things he undertook1 as his son4 ,,chapter ,,xx4 ,,exercise4 ,the muscles1 or moving power of the body4 ,their number and character4 ,philosophy and necessity of exercise4 ,why young women should study these4 ,various kinds of exercise4 #a4 ,walking4 #b4 ,gardening and agriculture4 #c4 ,house-keeping4 #d4 ,riding4 #e4 ,local exercises4--,difficulty of drawing the public attention to this subject4 ,the slavery of fashion4 ,consequences of the of fashionable neglect of exercise4 ,a common but shocking sight4 ,this is a highly important subject2 and it is connected with an unusual variety of topics4 ,i beg the reader to exercise a little patience1 therefore1 if1 on this account1 ,i extend it to an unusual length4 ,it should not be forgotten1 that the human body is moved from place to place1 at the direction of the will1 through the intervention of what are called muscles--of which there are in connection with the whole human frame1 from four hundred to five hundred4 ,they are long bundles or portions of lean flesh1 usually a little flattened and somewhat rounded at their edges1 and terminating at one end--often at both--in a harder1 flatter1 white substance1 called tendon1 which is fastened to the bone4 ,but ,i need not--and indeed ,i cannot--in a work like this1 enter upon a minute account of the human frame1 or of any considerable portion of it2 especially so considerable a portion of it as the bony and muscular systems4 ,for such information1 ,i must refer the reader to the work alluded to in a previous chapter--,the ,house ,i ,live ,in--and1 if her leisure time will justify it1 to still more extended works on anatomy and physiology1 which can be easily obtained4 ,of the philosophy1 and even the necessity1 of exercise1 however1 ,i need only say1 in the present place--in addition to what has been said already--that much of human health and happiness depends on the proper development1 and cultivation1 and daily exercise of the whole muscular system2 and that the health1 and happiness1 and usefulness of young women1 are not less dependent on the right condition of the physical frame--the bones and muscles among the rest--than in the case of other classes of persons4 ,i might even say1 that of all classes of people in the world--parents and teachers alone excepted--young women are most imperiously called upon to attend to this subject4 ,it will now be my object to speak of the various kinds of exercise for young women2 and to treat of them in what ,i conceive to be the order of their value4 #a4 ,walking4--,if ,i were residing in ,great ,britain1 and writing for the perusal of young women there1 ,i suppose it would hardly be necessary to urge very strongly the importance of walking as an exercise2 for we are told by accredited travellers1 that not only females of the middle and lower classes1 but those of rank1 also1 are accustomed to this form of exercise1 to an extent which would surprise the young women of this country4 ,neither do they go out attired in such a manner that a single drop of water would annoy them1 or spoil their happiness2 but they go prepared for the task4 ,they have1 as ,i understand1 their coarser clothes1 and shoes1 and head-dresses1 for the purpose4 ,but here1 in the ,united ,states--among the female sex1 especially--walking1 like house-keeping and agriculture1 has been1 of late years1 regarded as drudgery--fit for none but the poor1 or the mean1 or the eccentric4 ,and when performed1 it is seldom done in the love of it4 ,now it is well known to those who have studied the subject of exercise1 that1 though walking is of inestimable importance--second1 in all probability1 to no other form of mere exercise--it is1 nevertheless1 of far the most value1 when it is undertaken and pursued with pleasure4 ,while1 therefore1 ,i recommend it to young women1 ,i do it in the hope that they will not regard it as task-work--as mere drudgery4 ,i hope they will regard it as a source of pleasure and happiness4 ,to render it such1 something more is required than merely to walk1 in a solitary manner1 to a certain stone1 or tree1 or corner1 or house--the mind all the while unoccupied by any thing agreeable or useful--and then to return as listless as they came4 ,such exercise1 it is true1 will move the limbs1 and do much to keep the bones and muscles in a healthy state2 and by the gentle agitation which is induced1 will promote the circulation of all the fluids1 and the due performance of all the functions of the body--except the function which pertains to the brain and nervous system4 ,it will do all this1 ,i say2 but it will not do it so well1 if the exercise is performed as a piece of task-work1 as it would if it were done cheerfully and voluntarily4 ,i counsel the young woman1 therefore1 who wishes to derive the utmost possible benefit from walking1 to contrive to make the exercise as agreeable as possible4 ,to this end1 she should endeavor to have before her--,i mean before her mind--an agreeable object2 or at least she should be accompanied by an agreeable companion4 ,both are desirable2 but one of the two is indispensable4 ,as to the kind of object which should be held in view1 ,i cannot1 of course1 say much2 nor need ,i--for it makes but little difference1 so far as the physical benefit to be derived from it is concerned4 ,in regard to the moral and intellectual advantages1 however1 which are to be derived from it--to herself and to others--it makes a very great difference indeed4 ,she who goes in company with one or two1 or a small number of companions1 on some benevolent errand--some work of mercy to the ignorant1 the sick1 or the distressed--at once secures all the physical1 the intellectual1 and the moral advantages to be derived by herself1 and confers inestimable blessings on others4 ,let it not be said that it is not he duty of young women to go on such errands of mercy4 ,i know of no neighborhood1 containing the small number of twenty families1 in which there are not individuals who need to be fed1 clothed1 enlightened1 encouraged1 warmed or elevated4 ,the more elevated their present condition1 as a general rule1 the more can be done to raise them still higher4 ,the destruction of the poor1 is their poverty2 and in like manner1 the destruction of the ignorant1 is their ignorance4 ,people must know something1 in order to know more2 and in like manner1 must they possess something1 in order to value our charities1 and make a wise use of them4 ,if it should be urged1 that in speaking of the advantages of walking1 ,i have hitherto addressed myself to a small class of the community1 only--that those who are compelled to labor1 have not the time necessary for walks of love1 instruction or charity--,i reply1 that this does not lessen the importance of what has been said to those individuals to whom it is applicable4 ,walking is nature's own exercise2 and will always be her best1 when it can be performed4 ,nor would many in ,new ,england think themselves so poor as to be unable to afford it1 were they aware of a tenth part of its general importance1 and did they but know how to live orderly and systematically4 ,two hours of active walking a day1 are worth a great deal2 and no one who can walk briskly and cheerfully1 and without very great fatigue1 three hours1 need to complain of want of exercise4 ,i must omit1 of course1 in a work like this1 intended for young women1 the mention of any motion more rapid than walking4 ,running1 to those who have passed into their teens1 would be unfashionable2 and who could endure the charge of disregarding the fashions8 ,who could risk the danger of being regarded as a romp8 ,i am informed by a traveller of the most undoubted veracity1 that females of the highest classes1 in some parts of ,europe--the daughters of ,fellenberg1 the ,swiss educator1 for example--do not hesitate1 at times1 to engage in the athletic and healthy exercises of skating and coasting4 ,i have even been told that the same remark might be applied1 to some extent1 to the females of the state of ,maine4 #b4 ,gardening and ,agriculture4--,here again ,i shall be treading on dangerous ground1 as ,i am fully aware4 ,as in the former ease1 however1 so in the present1 ,i shall not be wholly alone4 ,there are those who have dared to jeopardize their reputation by insisting on light agricultural and horticultural employments for females1 young and old1 who cannot1 or who suppose they cannot find time for walking2 and to the list of this sort of unfashionables1 my name1 ,i suppose1 must be added4 ,to those who do not and cannot enjoy the benefit of active and pleasurable walking abroad1 these employments are unquestionably the best substitutes4 ,when these are wholly depended upon for exercise1 however1 they should be pursued at least from two to four hours in a day2 and the constitutions of some will require much more than even four hours4 ,let not the hardy1 healthy young woman alone1 be employed in this manner4 ,it is useful and necessary1 indeed1 to her2 but it is still more so to her in whom1 to a light skin with light eyes and hair1 are joined a slender frame1 a narrow chest1 and an unnatural and sickly delicacy4 ,whether this delicacy is the result of staying in the house1 almost entirely secluded from light1 air1 and the extremes of heat and cold1 or is inherited1 makes very little difference4 ,she who has it needs a great deal of exercise4 #c4 ,house-keeping4--,next to walking1 and agricultural and horticultural exercise1 house-keeping--or1 as it is familiarly called1 house-work--is probably the most healthy1 and ought to be the most agreeable4 ,and yet the bare statement of the fact1 will be enough to induce many a fair reader1 as ,i doubt not1 to turn aside with pain and disgust4 ,the reasons why this employment is so healthy1 are many and various4 ,one is found in the fact1 that it requires such a variety of exercise4 ,like farming and gardening1 it calls into action1 in the course of a day1 and especially in the course of a week1 nearly every considerable muscle of the body4 ,all these exercises seem1 at first view1 to have some advantages over walking4 ,it should be remembered however1 that nearly every muscle1 and tendon1 and bone in the whole human frame1 is agitated1 if it is not employed1 in walking2 and if the limbs are employed much the most1 still the continued action of the whole body1 though gentle1 is in a few hours quite sufficient for all the purposes of health4 ,every young woman should be determined to attend to1 and understand1 every kind of house-work4 ,if a few kinds--as washing1 for example--seem to be beyond her strength1 she should only attend to them in part1 according as she is able4 ,it is pitiable to see a young woman of twenty1 twenty-five or thirty1 who cannot make bread1 or iron a shirt1 or boil a pudding--ay1 and who cannot make and mend clothes1 if necessary--simply because she has never been required to do it4 ,still more pitiable is it1 as ,i have already said1 to find those who have never done it1 because they thought it would be demeaning themselves--or because they have acted upon the principle of doing nothing for themselves or others1 as long as they can help it4 ,it is scarcely possible that a young woman twenty years of age1 has not had ample opportunities for learning to do all kinds of house-work1 provided it has been her fixed resolution to improve them2 and ,i am fully assured that house-keeping1 actively and cheerfully pursued1 in all its parts1 is sufficient to secure a tolerable measure of health to every individual4 ,and yet ,i am equally confident1 that if walking1 or out-of-door labor1 were superadded to this1 in the way ,i have proposed and recommended1 she would derive from it many important advantages1 besides being still healthier4 ,indeed1 no person1 in any employment whatever1 is so healthy as to exclude all possibility of further improvement4 ,it is not yet known how healthy an individual may become4 #d4 ,riding4--,horseback exercise1 for those who cannot enjoy any of the three modes of which ,i have already spoken1 is excellent4 ,it is particularly valuable where there is a tendency to lung complaints1 whether induced by wearing too tight a dress1 or in any other manner4 ,it should not be forgotten1 however1 that if the chest is very greatly diseased1 this exercise may be one of the worst which could be taken4 ,as to riding in a carriage1 unless it is an open one1 ,i must honestly say ,i do not like it1 as an exercise for those who can secure that which is better4 ,indeed1 except for a medicinal purpose1 ,i always prefer one of the three kinds named above4 ,and as for medicine1 ,i would have young women so live1 and especially so exercise1 as to have no occasion for it4 ,but on this subject ,i intend to say something in another place4 ,i do not believe life is long enough1 in general1 to allow us to indulge1 to any great extent1 either in what are commonly regarded as passive exercises1 or in amusements1 as such3 ,i speak now of those who are above twelve years of age4 ,not that those who are over twelve1 do not need amusement4 ,i would have every thing amusing--or at least interesting4 ,i mean simply to say1 that walking1 and running1 and gardening1 and farming1 and house-keeping1 usually involve enough of physical exercise for health2 and that where these are duly attended to--or even any one of them--what are commonly called amusement's will hardly be needed4 ,in earlier life1 they unquestionably may be4 ,but ,i do not think well of passive exercises for any person1 so long as they can be avoided4 ,and heterodox as the advice may be regarded1 ,i cannot help counselling the young1 above all1 never to ride in an easy carriage1 or a railroad1 or in a steamboat or other vessel or ship1 as long as they can pursue the lawful purposes of life1 in a lawful and proper manner1 by means of walking4 ,it is soon enough to ride when we cannot walk4 ,those who are desirous to glorify ,god in whatever they do1 as ,paul expresses it1 will understand and feel the force of what ,i am now going to say2 while those who make it their business1 in this world1 to seek happiness1 without being careful to do it through the medium of personal excellence or holiness1 will perhaps only smile at what they suppose is a mere eccentricity of opinion4 #e4 ,local ,exercise4--,i have intimated that the bones and muscles1 the brain and nerves1 the stomach and intestines1 the liver1 the chyle apparatus1 the lungs1 and the skin2 are all more or less exercised and benefited by walking1 running1 gardening1 house-keeping1 or riding on horseback4 ,still1 other exercises will be necessary1 in addition to all these4 ,but much that ,i wish to say on these points will be found in subsequent chapters4 ,it is only necessary for me to observe1 in this place1 that all the organs of the body1 internal or external1 together with all the senses1 require1 nay1 demand1 their appropriate or1 as ,i might say1 their particular exercise2 and this1 not only daily1 but some of them much oftener4 ,the brain and nervous system require observation and reflection2 and even1 in my view1 considerable hard study4 ,this is their appropriate and necessary exercise4 ,there are1 indeed1 those who exercise their brains too much2 but for one who suffers from thinking too much1 a dozen suffer from thinking too little4 ,the stomach and intestines require such food as will call them into proper action4 ,that which is highly difficult of digestion may cause them to over-act2 and this1 to those whose vital powers are feeble1 would be injurious4 ,on the other hand1 that which is too easy of digestion1 will not afford the stomach exercise enough2 and hence1 in time1 if its use is long continued1 will be equally injurious4 ,but once more4 ,concentrated substances--substances1 ,i mean1 consisting of pure nutriment1 or that which is nearly so--such as oil1 sugar1 gum1 c4--do not afford the right kind of exercise to the stomach2 for it is the appropriate work of this organ1 and of the other internal organs--and not of machinery of human invention--to separate the nutritious part from that which is innutritious2 and1 therefore1 that food affords the best sort of labor to the stomach which contains1 along with a full supply of nutriment1 a good deal of innutritious substance4 ,the exercise of the lungs consists not only in their full and free expansion in breathing1 but in speaking1 singing1 c41 and even in laughing4 ,physiologists also consider sneezing1 coughing and crying1 especially the latter1 as having their advantages1 in early infancy1 and perhaps1 in same circumstances1 even afterward4 ,in like manner do the eye and the ear1 the tongue and the teeth1 the hands and the face--and indeed every part of the system--require their appropriate exercise4 ,this is not true of the merest infancy and childhood alone1 but also1 for the most part1 of youth and manhood4 ,conversation1 to a certain extent1 is1 for aught ,i know1 as necessary to the health of the vocal organs1 as to that of the lungs4 ,nor are the benefits of mastication confined wholly to the process of digestion4 ,it is fully believed by distinguished physiologists1 that the teeth themselves will last longer for being considerably used2 and they seem to be borne out in this conclusion by facts4 ,but if this is the case1 what are we to think of the importance of light to the eye1 sound to the ear1 employment to the hands1 c48 ,it is extremely difficult to induce the young to pay any attention to this important subject1 as a matter of duty1 even in some of its most obvious points and parts4 ,some of them will1 it is true1 use exercise enough of a particular kind1 and at particular times2 but the idea of attending to it as a matter of duty1 is exceedingly hard for them to receive or entertain4 ,few things are more pitiable1 than the sight of young persons of either sex1 so entirely enslaved to fashion1 that they dare not labor in the garden1 or the kitchen1 or even walk briskly1 lest somebody should observe and speak of it4 ,it is not to be wondered at--trained as the young of both sexes are1 to demand incessant excitement--that they should dislike walking1 and every thing else of the more active kind1 and sigh for the chaise1 the coach1 the sleigh1 the car and the steamboat2 but it does seem to me strange1 that contrary to nature1 they should seek their happiness in passive exercises alone1 forgetful of their limbs1 and hands1 and feet4 ,it is passing strange1 that any tyrant should be able--even ,fashion herself--so to change the whole current of human feeling1 as to make a sprightly buoyant young girl of ten years of age1 become at thirteen a grave1 staid or mincing young woman1 unable--rather1 unwilling--to move except in a certain style1 and then only with an effort scarcely exceeded by the efforts of those who are suffering from inquisitorial tortures4 ,no young woman who has a conscientious desire for improvement1 and who is acquainted with the merest elements of physiological knowledge1 could or would submit1 for one day1 to such abominable tyranny4 ,she could not but be afraid thus to disobey the natural and reasonable laws of her ,maker4 ,the consequences of this premature inactivity of the human frame1 on the future well being of that frame1 have never been half told3 nor do ,i know that they can be--at least for some time to come4 ,i scarcely ever prescribed for one of these staid young women1 without very great pain4 ,to see a machine evidently made by its ,almighty ,architect for a great deal of motion1 and made to run on with exactness for a hundred years or more1 7were due care taken to preserve it in good order17 completely deranged1 because ,fashion says that motion is ungraceful or unbecoming--what1 in a physical point of view1 can be more lamentable6 ,to see woman denied1 daily1 by ,fashion's nonsensical decrees1 the pleasure which every healthy person feels in the use of his limbs1 with their hundreds of muscles and tendons1 and kept not only inactive1 but almost secluded from air and light--who is not almost ashamed that he belongs to the same species8 ,yet such things are quite common among as1 and they are constantly becoming more so4 ,,chapter ,,xxi4 ,,rest ,,and ,,sleep4 ,why rest and sleep are needed4 ,sleep a condition4 ,we should sleep in the night4 ,moral tendency of not doing so4 ,is there any moral character in such things8 ,of rest without sleep4 ,good habits in regard to sleep4 ,apartments for sleep4 ,air4 ,bed4 ,covering4 ,temperature4 ,night clothing4 ,advice of ,macnish on the number of persons to a bed4 ,preparation for sleep4 ,suppers4 ,the more we indulge in sleep1 the more sleep we seem to require4 ,the reader indulged to study laws of rest and sleep4 ,an appeal4 ,the moving powers of the human body are so constructed by the grand ,mover of all things1 that they require rest as well as action4 ,and of the many hundreds of muscles and tendons in the living system1 it is not known that there is one which could continue its action1 uninterruptedly1 for any considerable time1 without serious injury4 ,even the muscular fibres of the heart rest a part of the time1 between the beats and pulsations4 ,whether the brain--which is of course without muscular fibres--can act incessantly in the production of thought1 is a question which ,i believe is not yet settled by meta-physicians4 ,one thing we do know1 however1 which is1 that if the other organs suffer for want of rest1 we soon find that by the law of sympathy and otherwise1 the brain and nervous system suffer along with them2 and if our wakefulness is greatly protracted1 they sometimes suffer very severely4 ,i have said that all the moving powers of the body require rest4 ,they do2 and in the young1 a good deal of it4 ,it is in vain for mankind--the young especially--to abridge their hours of sleep1 whether for selfish or benevolent purposes4 ,sleep is made by the ,creator a condition of our being and happiness2 and he who complies not with this condition1 is unworthy of the boon4 ,sleep1 moreover1 should be had at the right season4 ,it is useless to think of sleeping during the day-time1 and keeping awake during the night1 with impunity4 ,for many facts are on record1 showing in vivid colors the mischiefs which result1 sooner or later1 from thus turning day into night1 and night into day4 ,need ,i present these facts8 ,they are found1 in greater or less numbers1 in almost every work on health or physiology4 ,i will present but one4 ,it is from ,valangin4 ,two colonels in the ,french army1 sometime ago1 had a dispute whether it was most safe to march in the heat of the day1 or in the evening4 ,to ascertain this point1 they obtained permission of the commanding officer to put their respective plans into execution4 ,accordingly1 the one with his division marched during the day1 although it was in the heat of summer1 and rested all night4 ,the other1 with his men1 slept in the day-time1 and marched during the evening and part of the night4 ,the result was1 that the first performed a journey of six hundred miles without losing a single man or horse2 while the latter lost most of his horses1 and several of his men4 ,of course1 the inference from this1 and other similar facts1 is1 that night is the time for sleep1 and not day4 ,is it said that every person knows this8 ,but every person does not practise accordingly4 ,there are those who either do not know the fact--and not a few young women1 too2 may be found among the number--or who1 knowing it1 do not act according to their knowledge4 ,is it not more charitable to conclude they do not know the fact8 ,franklin1 indeed1 once undertook to show1 in his humorous way1 that the inhabitants of ,paris did not know that the sun gave light at its first rising4 ,whether they did know it or not--or whether or not they were culpable for their ignorance1 provided it was voluntary--shall hold my readers to be as truly guilty of doing that wrong which is the result of their own voluntary ignorance1 as if their minds were really enlightened4 ,the young woman who goes to bed so late that she cannot wake till it has been day for some time--or who darkens her room on purpose that the day-light may not interrupt her repose when it comes--and who knows1 at the same time1 that it is wrong to sleep by day-light1 except from the most absolute necessity--is as truly guilty1 as if she slept by day-light with her windows open4 ,i believe the night is long enough for sleep in any latitude not higher than fifty degrees2 and comparatively few of the human family reside much farther than this towards the poles4 ,the young woman who finds herself inclined to sleep after day-light1 should resolve to break the habit as soon as possible4 ,in order to do this1 however1 she should believe herself able to do it4 ,here it will be rational to ask whether1 after all1 there is any moral character in the error1 if it be one1 of sitting up an hour later than usual1 and then making it up by sleeping an hour after the arrival of day-light2--whether it is not a matter of propriety1 merely1 rather than a question of positive right or wrong in the sight of ,heaven4 ,this question ,i have answered in the chapter on ,conscientiousness--to which1 in order to prevent repetition1 ,i might refer the reader4 ,if there be a sort of actions to which no character1 good or bad1 can justly be attached1 then what did the apostle mean in requiring that whatever we do should be done to the glory of ,god8 and where is the line to be drawn between those actions which are too small or too trifling to be worthy of having any right or wrong attached to them1 and those which are not8 ,but if every thing we do is either right or wrong1 then there is a right and a wrong in regard to the particular class of actions of which ,i am just now treating4 ,the object of sleep should be to restore us1 and fit us for renewed action4 ,we may rest1 to some extent1 without sleep2 as when we throw ourselves upon a sofa1 or sit in an easy chair4 ,indeed1 there is no hour of the day in which some portions of the moving powers are not resting1 more or less4 ,still we cannot be wholly restored1 in body and mind1 without the soothing influence of ,tired nature's sweet restorer1 balmy sleep4 ,every young woman should regulate her habits in regard to sleep and rest--not less than all her other habits--in such a way as will tend most to the good of her whole nature and as will consequently tend most to the glory of ,god4 ,in other words1 every person should be governed1 in this matter1 by true philosophy and ,christian principle4 ,this would lead to the following axioms or conclusions1 every one of which is sustained by high authority4 ,apartments for sleep should1 if possible1 be large and airy--and not on a ground floor1 or in too dark a corner of the building4 ,the air of the room should circulate freely2 although it is not considered safe to be exposed to currents of air4 ,to this end1 the bed should be rather large and loose2 and should stand out from the all1 and from the corners of the room2 and should be without curtains1 even in the coldest weather4 ,the bed ought to be rather hard2 but it should1 at any rate1 be cool4 ,soft1 yielding feather beds1 in which the body sinks deeply1 are very injurious1 on account of the unnatural heat and perspiration they are sure to induce4 ,it is of little consequence what the material of your bed is1 if it be light1 dry and porous1 and not too soft4 ,straw1 grass1 husks1 hair1 and a great variety of other things1 have been employed4 ,almost any thing--,i repeat it--is better than feathers4 ,the same remarks will apply to pillows4 ,we should sleep with as little covering as we can1 and not actually feel cold and chilly4 ,most persons sleep under a great deal too much clothing4 ,we require more in cold than in warm weather4 ,we also require more on first going to bed1 than when we get fairly warm but as it usually happens that we get warm and go to sleep at nearly the same time1 it follows1 that the clothing which was only sufficient to warm us1 remains on the bed all night4 ,we ought not to put on so much clothing as we are apt to do when we first go to bed--and then we shall not be likely to sleep all night under too much clothing1 and wake up in the morning weakened by it4 ,the temperature of the room must never be overlooked4 ,it should be as cold as it can well be made1 and not be absolutely uncomfortable4 ,one reason for this is1 that the oxygen1 or vital principle of the air1 which is more abundant in a given volume of cool air than in an equal amount of that which is warmer1 will last longer when the room is cool1 and the room will thus remain free from impurity4 ,another reason is1 that ratified air not only contains less oxygen in a given volume1 as ,i have already said1 but also appears to admit more readily of the admixture and thorough diffusion of bad gases4 ,the carbonic acid gas which is formed by breathing1 settles the more readily towards the floor1 in proportion to the general density of the atmosphere of the room2 and if the bed-room be large1 so that it does not accumulate in such a quantity as to rise higher than the bedstead1 it is less likely to be breathed over again1 than if the atmosphere were more rare4 ,but there is still another reason for having our bed-clothes cool--though it is substantially the same with that mentioned in a preceding paragraph for having light rooms1 beds1 and light covering4 ,we are greatly debilitated by sleeping unnecessarily warm4 ,our vital powers should be trained to generate a good deal of heat2 and what they have been trained to do1 they should continue to perform4 ,all the heat1 ,i say1 therefore1 which the body will manufacture for itself1 readily1 it should be permitted to do4 ,but the moment we depend1 unnecessarily1 on external means of warmth--as too much or too soft and warm bed clothing1 and too warm an atmosphere--that moment our internal organs begin to be enervated1 in a greater or less degree1 whether we are sensible of it or not4 ,we should not sleep in the clothes we have worn during the day4 ,this is not on account of the heat it may induce1 but on account of the bad air which our clothing confines4 ,by having extra clothes for the night1 and those very few indeed1 and taking a little pains with those we have worn during the day--to hang them up and air them properly--we may do much towards keeping the pores of our bodies open1 and preserving the skin in a clean state1 and in a condition to perform its accustomed work4 ,we should also avoid damp clothing about our beds or bed-rooms4 ,a healthy person may get slightly wet in the early part of the day1 and even remain wet for a short time1 especially if he continues in action1 without injury3 but it is by no means safe to sit down1 or lie down1 in wet or damp clothing2 and it is more unsafe to do so at the close of the day1 than it is in the morning4 ,a vast amount of disease--colds1 rheumatism1 fever and consumption--is generated or aggravated in this way4 ,what ,i have here said of the conditions of sleep1 is sustained1 as ,i have already informed the reader1 by high authority2 ,i mean that of ,macnish4 ,he says1 further1 that the practice of having two or three beds in one room1 and two or three individuals in each bed1 must be deleterious2 and that wherever it is necessary for more than one person to sleep in a single bed1 they should take care to place themselves in such a position as not to breathe in each others' faces4 ,he also alludes to the custom of covering the head with the bedclothes--and calls it1 as he ought to do1 a dangerous custom4 ,macnish also gives the following directions on this subject3 ,before going to bed1 the body should be brought into that state1 which gives us the surest chance of dropping speedily asleep4 ,if too hot1 its temperature ought to be reduced by cooling drinks1 ,footnote3 ,by cooling drinks4 ,macnish cannot surely mean drinks of a low temperature1 for these would be somewhat injurious in the evening4 ,he means by cooling1 not heating or irritating4 exposure to the open air1 sponging1 or even the cold bath4 ,if too cold1 it must be brought into a comfortable state by warmth4 ,for both cold and heat act as stimuli1 and their removal is necessary before sleep can ensue4 ,a full stomach1 also1 though it sometimes promotes1 generally prevents sleep2 consequently1 supper ought to be dispensed with1 except by those who1 having been long used to this meal1 cannot do without it4 ,as a general rule1 the person who eats nothing for two or three hours before going to rest1 will sleep better than he who eats a late supper4 ,his sleep will also be more refreshing2 and his sensations upon awaking1 much more gratifying4 ,the cold bath at going to bed1 taken to reduce our heat1 because we are too warm1 is of rather doubtful utility4 ,some may use it with entire safety2 but to the feeble1 or those who have been greatly over-heated or over-fatigued1 it would be hazardous4 ,by supper1 ,macnish means1 no doubt1 that fourth meal so common in fashionable life1 and not the usual third meal at six o'clock ,those who never heard of a fourth1 have no occasion for caution on this subject1 except it be in regard to quantity4 ,this third meal1 however1 even when it is eaten three hours before going to bed1 should be light4 ,in order to sleep properly1 let all the conditions which ,i have mentioned be faithfully observed4 ,then to these let there be added a most strict and conscientious regard for the rule which ,i have suggested in the beginning of this chapter--which is1 to rise early4 ,let no young woman be found in bed after day-light1 in the longest days2 nor in the winter1 after four o'clock4 ,some will say1 that at this rate they should not get sleep enough during the night2 and should1 as a consequence1 either be dull during their waking hours1 or be obliged to take a nap in the day-time4 ,but if our hard-laboring people who rise at four o'clock in the summer1 find time enough to sleep--most of them--without a nap in the day-time1 surely they whose labor is not so hard1 can do it4 ,they cannot1 ,i well know1 if they sit up till ten or eleven o'clock at night4 ,if any one desires to glorify ,god in every thing she does1 let her attend to the conditions ,i have mentioned4 ,if she finds that in rising at daylight she does not get sleep enough1 let her go to bed a little earlier4 ,we ought to sleep about as much before midnight as after2 and she who goes to bed at eight1 and rises at four1 will be pretty sure to get sleep enough4 ,few if any persons over twelve years of age1 need more than eight hours sleep2 and the greater proportion not so much4 ,here ,i will mention one thing which does not seem to be generally known4 ,the more we sleep1 if we increase our sleep by degrees1 the more we may4 ,how far the time for sleep may be thus extended1 ,i do not know4 ,there are1 indeed1 circumstances which may make the same individual require less or more sleep1 independent of the habit of indulgence3 still it is true1 as a general fact1 that we may sleep as much or as little as we please4 ,when we increase the hours of sleep1 however1 it does not follow that we actually sleep more in the same proportion4 ,let an active individual1 who has been accustomed to six hours1 suddenly confine herself to four4 ,will her actual sleep be abridged one third8 ,by no means4 ,nature will endeavor to make up for the loss of time by inducing sounder sleep4 ,in this1 however1 she is only in part successful4 ,for those who sleep so very soundly1 often sleep too sound4 ,we are sometimes conscious1 when we awake from an over-sound sleep1 that we are not well refreshed2 but whether conscious of it or not1 it is so4 ,macnish says--,that sleep from which we are easily roused1 is the healthiest2 very profound slumber partakes of the nature of apoplexy4 ,a person who1 having been in the habit of sleeping six hours in twenty-four1 suddenly reduces the number to four1 will1 probably1 for a time1 sleep as much in four hours as she slept before in about five1 or five and a half4 ,but the quality of these five or five and a half hours' sleep will be inferior1 and continue so1 unless she arouses herself to an increased activity of her intellectual powers1 and reduces the quantity of her food and drink4 ,i have supposed it to be generally known1 that we need the more sleep1 or seem to need it1 in proportion as our minds are less active1 and our bodily appetites hold us more in subjection4 ,the individual1 male or female1 who approaches most nearly to the more stupid lower animals in point of intelligence1 activity and general habits1 will actually seem to require the most sleep2 and1 on the contrary1 in proportion as an individual rises above all this1 and becomes exceedingly active in mind1 body and spirit1 will the necessity for sleep be greatly diminished4 ,some of the most elevated of the human race1 in point of intelligence1 benevolence1 and benevolent activity or spirituality have required but very little sleep4 ,of this number were ,wesley1 ,matthew ,hale1 ,alfred the ,great1 ,jeremy ,taylor1 ,baxter1 ,bishops ,jewel and ,burnet1 ,dr4 ,john ,hunter1 ,dr4 ,priestly1 and ,sobieski--as well as ,frederick the ,great1 ,gen4 ,elliot1 ,lord ,wellington1 and ,napoleon4 ,of the same number1 too1 are some of our modern missionaries--to say nothing of several distinguished statesmen1 among whom is ,lord ,brougham4 ,in view of these considerations1 is there one of my readers1 who1 while she endeavors to sleep enough to answer every valuable purpose of her existence1 on penalty of more or less suffering1 will not guard1 with the same assiduity1 against sleeping too much8 ,aware that the more she indulges herself1 the more she may1 because she will become by so much the more stupid--and that the more she denies herself sleep1 provided it is not to such an extent that her sleep becomes apoplectic1 the more will her intellectual powers be developed and acquire the ascendency1 and her animal nature be brought into subjection--will she not exert herself to the utmost1 and pray for aid from on high1 in striving to gain the victory over herself--her lower self--her animal self--and thus increase the duration and value of her existence8 ,i do not urge the consideration of the great amount of time1 merely1 which may be saved by rising early4 ,some have attempted to show that they who rise two hours earlier every morning than usual1 gain an amount of time in sixty years--viz41 from the age of ten to that of seventy--equal to about seven years of active life4 ,is it not obvious that there may be mistake here8 ,for if she who rises two hours earlier1 goes to bed as much earlier at right1 no time is saved at all4 ,and if without going to bed any earlier1 she is rendered so much more dull or sleepy during the day1 that she loses two hours1 or even one1 this will form a proportional deduction from her supposed gain4 ,it is she only1 who1 while she sleeps all which her nature really demands1 and takes care not to exceed the demand1 succeeds also in lessening the demand itself1 that is the real gainer4 ,it is a pitiable sight to see an immortal being1 made in the image of ,almighty ,god1 and capable1 by divine aid1 of enjoying ,him forever1 rendering himself sleepy1 brutish1 or besotted1 by the form of indulgence of which ,i am now speaking4 ,and it seems to me still more pitiable--indeed1 absolutely disgusting--to see females doing this2 and especially1 intelligent young women6 ,i wish every reader would take this subject of wasting time in sleep into serious1 and conscientious1 and prayerful consideration4 ,let her remember that her time is not hers1 any more than she herself is her own2 that both are bought with a price--an amazing price1 too6 ,how can she1 then1 waste time-a single moment of it8 ,yet people will do it4 ,hundreds1 and thousands1 and millions1 will do it4 ,some will do it--many1 ,i fear--who have professed the ,christian name1 and who believe that they bear in their bodies the marks of their dying ,lord and ,master4 ,i will close this chapter by briefly summing up what has been said4 ,let your sleep be in the night2 not in the day-time4 ,let it be1 moreover1 in the middle of the night1 as much as possible4 ,to sit up till near midnight1 and to get up just after midnight1 are perhaps equally injurious1 though not by any means equally common4 ,spend the close of each day at home2 and go to bed early1 with an empty or nearly an empty stomach1 a cheerful temper1 a quiet mind1 and a good conscience4 ,let the air be pure1 yourself pure1 your clothing and bed simple and cool1 and your room also cool4 ,wake with the first rays of the morning in summer1 and about the same hour in winter4 ,get up as soon as you awake2 and if your sleep has been insufficient1 go to rest a little earlier the succeeding evening4 ,thus will you at once discharge your duty1 and obtain peace here and hereafter4 ,,chapter ,,xxii ,,industry4 ,education to industry4 ,man naturally a lacy animal4 ,indolence in females4 ,hybernation4 ,every young woman ought to be trained to support herself1 should necessity require it1 and to aid in supporting others4 ,she should1 at least1 be always industrious4 ,kinds of labor4 ,mental labor as truly valuable as bodily4 ,what ordinary virtue is there more commendable in the young1 than industry8 ,on this account1 and in this view it is1 that well disposed parents sometimes employ their children in a way not absolutely1 or in itself1 useful to them1 for the sake of the general habit4 ,such parents are certainly excusable1 even if their example should not be regarded as commendable1 or as worthy of being followed4 ,dr4 ,good1 the well known theological1 philosophical and medical writer1 avows the belief that man is naturally lazy2 that he would not so much as lift a finger if he could help it2 and that all his activity grows out of a desire to avoid present or future suffering1 or pain4 ,perhaps this is carrying the matter rather too far2 since we see young children positively active1 not so much from the desire of avoiding pain1 as from that of procuring pleasure4 ,but however untrue it may be in regard to children1 it is unquestionably true of many adults2 and of some1 it is to be feared1 of both sexes4 ,of all lazy persons1 however1 ,i dislike most to see a lazy young woman4 ,destined by her ,creator at once to charm1 instruct and improve the world around her1 by her looks1 her words and her actions--and this to a degree which no female has ever yet attained--how exceedingly painful is it to see her floating along the stream of inaction or insignificance1 without making one considerable effort to arouse her faculties--bodily1 mental and moral--from their half dormant condition4 ,too many females who are trained in the bosom of ease and abundance1 have no idea of any attempts at benevolent effort1 or even of active1 untiring industry4 ,if they are not more selfish than the other sex1 they are scarcely less so4 ,they live but for themselves1 and seem to desire no more4 ,granting1 as we sometimes do1 that this is the fault of their education1 is it therefore the less pitiable8 ,i have already urged the importance of self-dependence4 ,every healthy young woman ought to be so trained1 as to be able to make her own way through the world without becoming at all its debtor4 ,i speak now not merely of her moral1 and intellectual1 and domestic efforts1 but also of her physical ones4 ,i care not what her rank or condition may be2 every ,american young woman ought to be able1 in the common language of the community2 to support herself through life4 ,i must insist on even more than this4 ,she ought to be able1 in point of bodily efficiency1 to do something for the support of others2 and not merely something1 but a great deal4 ,i am not ignorant of the low rate of female wages--disproportioned1 altogether so1 to their comparative value in the scale of human happiness4 ,and yet1 with all necessary abatements1 ,i hold that all healthy females ought to be able to support themselves1 should necessity require it1 and to aid in supporting others4 ,whether1 however1 their labor supports themselves1 or more than does it1 is not so much the question1 as whether they are truly industrious4 ,an aged woman1 who at ninety was often found at her spinning wheel1 and always at active employment--though by no means indigent--was accustomed to say1 that every person ought to strain every nerve to get property as long as life lasts1 as a matter of duty4 ,i would not say quite so much as this2 but ,i do say that every person1 no matter what may be her rank or circumstances1 ought to be industrious1 from early life to the last moment4 ,such a person1 male or female1 will seldom want means of support1 and even of distributing to him that needeth2 but should such a thing happen1 it is of no very great importance4 ,she will at least die with the consciousness of having spent her life in active industry1 and of having benefited somebody1 though she may have spent less on herself4 ,as to the kind of labor or exercise in which females ought to engage1 ,i have perhaps said enough already4 ,i will only add1 that ,i consider a person as industrious1 and as truly worthy of reward--,i mean pecuniary reward--in performing valuable mental or moral labor a part of her time1 as she who is engaged the whole time with her hands2 and ,i know of no propriety in the custom which has led to the valuation of things by a different standard4 ,i know of no reason1 for example1 why a young woman who1 as a sister1 or as a daughter1 or as a friend merely1 contributes1 by wise management1 to keep an aged parent or an infant child1 or any other person1 happy--though it were only by cheerful conversation1 or by relating stories fore an hour or so1 occasionally--,i know not1 ,i say1 why she is not as truly entitled to the rewards of industry1 as though she were employed in furnishing bread or clothing to the same persons4 ,are the affections1 and passions1 and knowledge1 and excellence1 of less value than the rewards of manual labor1 in money or property8 ,and is not mental or spiritual labor at least as valuable as bodily8 ,,chapter ,,xxiii4 ,,visiting4 ,is there no time for relaxation8 ,may there not be passive enjoyments8 ,passive enjoyments sometimes wrong4 ,how ,christian visits should be conducted4 ,duty and pleasure compatible4 ,passive visits useful to childhood4 ,folly of morning calls and evening parties4 ,bible doctrine of visiting ,abuse of visiting4 ,but is a young woman to be always actively employed8 ,is not time to be allotted her for mere passive enjoyments8 ,may she never unbend her mind from what is called duty8 ,may she never lay herself1 as it were1 on the bosom of her family and friends8 ,may she never seat herself on the living green1 amid roses and violets1 or on the mossy bank studded with cresses or cowslips1 and laved by the crystal stream8 ,may she never view the silver fish as he leaps up1 and dumbly speaks the praise of ,god8 ,may she never wander abroad for the sake of wandering1 or ride for the sake of riding2 or gaze on the blue ethereal by day1 or the star-spangled canopy by night8 ,far be it from me to say any such thing2 for ,i know not to whom such exercises1 as such exercises merely1 may or may not be necessary4 ,that they may be useful to many1 cannot be doubted2 but that they are far from being useful1 or even innocent1 to all1 is quite as certain4 ,it is certain1 ,i say1 that mere passive exercises are not only unnecessary with many1 but sometimes wrong4 ,the young woman who is trained1 or who has commenced training herself1 on truly ,christian principles1 and who enjoys a tolerable measure of health1 will hardly find special seasons of this sort necessary or desirable4 ,she will find sufficient relaxation amid the routine of active life and her daily occupations1 and in her labors of love and charity4 ,the society1 of sisters1 brothers1 parents1 grand-parents--of companions1 indeed1 of every sort with whom she mingles1 at home or at school--will afford her1 at times1 every enjoyment1 even of the passive sort1 which she really needs2 or which1 if she has the true spirit of ,christ1 she will heartily desire4 ,in her duties to these--nay1 even in her very duties to herself--in the kitchen1 the garden or the field1 she will have ample opportunity of descanting on the beauties and glories of the animal and vegetable world1 and on the wonders of the starry heavens4 ,in pruning1 and watering1 and weeding the vines and plants1 she may drink in as much as she pleases of the living green1 as well as feast her eyes1 anon1 on the blue expanse2 and in her walks of charity and mercy1 whether alone or in company with others1 she may also receive the nectar of heaven1 as it glistens and invites from ,nature's own cup1 in as rich draughts as if she were merely lounging1 and seeking for pleasure--nay1 even in richer ones1 by as much as active exercise of body and mind1 gives her the better mental and physical appetite4 ,it is one of the strongest proofs that we have a benevolent ,creator at the head of the world in which we live1 that he has made duty and enjoyment perfectly compatible1 so that in pursuing the pathway of the former1 we almost inevitably make sure of the latter2 and it is also equally remarkable1 if not an equally strong proof of benevolence1 that in seeking enjoyment1 as such1 without seeking it in the path of duty1 we seldom find it--or if found1 it is but half enjoyed4 ,there is nothing in this world--or hardly any thing1 to say the least--which should be done for the mere sake of doing it4 ,we labor not for the sake of laboring1 alone2 we eat not1 and we drink not1 for the sake1 merely1 of eating and drinking--at least we should not1 would we obtain the whole benefit of eating and drinking2 nor should we even amuse ourselves for the sake alone of the amusement4 ,double ends are often secured by single means2 nay1 almost always so4 ,i speak now of the woman1 and not of the infant or the child4 ,social visits among friends and neighbors1 for the mere sake of the passive enjoyment they afford in the earliest years of infancy1 may do exceedingly well as a preparation for the more active and more truly ,christian visits of maturer years and later life4 ,they are useful in elevating ourselves and others to a state where such visiting is not so needful to our happiness4 ,as to many forms of visiting current among us--such as morning calls1 evening parties1 and calls of any sort which answer none of the real purposes of visiting--tending neither to make ourselves or any body else wiser or better1 but1 on the contrary1 to make society worse1 indirectly--,i have never found any apology for them which seemed to me sufficient to satisfy a rational1 intelligent1 immortal spirit4 ,to come together late in the evening1 just to eat and drink together that which ought not to be eaten and drunk at all--or if at all1 certainly not at such an hour2 to hold conversation an hour or two under the influence of some sort of excitement1 physical or moral1 got up for the occasion1 on topics which are of little comparative importance--of which the most valuable part often is1 the inquiry1 ,how do you do8 and the consequent replies to it2 to trifle the time away till ten1 eleven or twelve o'clock1 and then go home through the cold1 damp atmosphere1 perhaps thinly clad1 to suffer that night for want of proper and sufficient sleep1 and the next day from indigestion1 and a thousand other evils2 what can be more truly pitiable1 not to say ridiculous6 ,nor is the practice of putting on a new dress--or one which1 if not new1 we are quite willing to exhibit--and of going to see our neighbors1 and staying just long enough to ask how they do1 say a few stale or silly things1 and prove an interruption and a nuisance1 and then going elsewhere--a whit more justifiable1 in beings made in the image of ,god1 and who are to be accountable at his eternal bar4 ,let it not be said that ,i disapprove of visiting1 entirely4 ,one of the grounds of condemnation at the final day1 is represented in the twenty-fifth chapter of ,matthew1 as being--,ye visited me not2 that is1 did not visit in the name and for the sake of the ,judge1 those whom ,god has made it a duty no less than a privilege to visit4 ,and can ,i set myself1 with impunity1 against that which my ,saviour has encouraged1 and yet pretend to be one of his followers8 ,what would be more presumptuous8 ,i am not an enemy to visiting1 if done with a view to glorify ,god in the benefit of mankind4 ,let young women visit1 indeed1 but lot it be done in a way which will be approved by the ,saviour and ,judge4 ,but there may be dissipation in the garb of visiting2 and it is still oftener nothing more than the garb of indolence4 ,it is not visiting1 but visiting without a definite or important purpose1 to which ,i object4 ,it is not visiting itself1 but the abuse of visiting4 ,celestial spirits1 for aught we know1 are much employed in visiting--and shall not man be so8 ,are we to belong to their society hereafter1 and yet not be their associates8 ,are we to associate with them1 and yet remain solitaries8 ,could such a thing be8 ,is not man1 here and hereafter--as ,i have already insisted--a social being8 ,and if so1 shall not his social nature and social powers be early and successfully developed and cultivated8 ,let our visits but promote the purposes of benevolence1 and nothing can1 with propriety1 be said against them4 ,i would wage no war on this point1 except with selfishness4 ,,chapter ,,xxiv4 ,,manners4 ,miss ,sedgwick on good manners4 ,her complaint4 ,just views of good manners4 ,good manners as the natural accompaniment of a good heart4 ,the ,bible the best book on manners4 ,illustrations of the subject4 ,miss ,sedgwick1 in her ,means and ,ends1 has treated the subject of ,manners in a happier way than any other writer with whom ,i am acquainted4 ,perhaps her views are already familiar to most of my readers2 but lest they should not be so1 and on account of their excellency1 ,i propose to give a brief abstract of some of them4 ,she complains1 in the first place1 that manners are too often considered as certain forms to be taught1 or certain modes of conduct for which rules are to be made3 and observes that some of the ,greek states maintained professors to teach manners2 in connection with which she immediately adds the following paragraph3 ,is this making manners a distinct branch of education consistent with their nature8 ,are they not the sign of inward qualities--a fitting expression of the social virtues8 ,are they not a mirror which often does1 and always should1 reflect the soul8 ,for instance1 is not a person of mild temper1 gentle in manners8 ,has not another a bold and independent disposition1 a forward and fearless manner8 ,it has been well said1 that real elegance of demeanor springs from the mind2 fashionable schools do but teach its imitation4 ,here she quotes1 with apparent approbation1 the views of ,mr4 ,locke4 ,this writer1 in speaking of the moral education of a young person1 has the following paragraph3 ,if his tender mind be filled with veneration for his parents and teachers1 which consists in love and esteem1 and a fear to offend them1 and with respect and good will to all people1 that respect will of itself teach those ways which he observes to be most acceptable4 ,miss ,sedgwick also makes the following judicious remarks3 ,i pray you to bear in mind1 that manners are but manifestations of character4 ,i must premise that by manners ,i do not mean the polished manners of the most highly educated and refined of other countries1 nor the deferential subservience of their debased classes--so pleasing to those who prefer the homage to the friendship of their fellow creatures4 ,manners1 like every thing else in one's character and conduct1 should be based on religion4 ,honor all men1 says the apostle4 ,this is the spring of good manners4 ,it strikes at the very root of selfishness4 ,it is the principle by which we render to all ranks and ages their due4 ,a respect for your fellow beings1 a reverence for them as ,god's creatures and our brethren1 will inspire that delicate regard to their rights and feelings1 of which good manners is the sign4 ,if you have truth--not the truth of policy1 but religious truth--your manners will be sincere4 ,they will have earnestness1 simplicity and frankness--the best qualities of manners4 ,they will be free from assumption1 pretence1 affectation1 flattery and obsequiousness1 which are all incompatible with sincerity4 ,if you have a goodly sincerity1 you will choose to appear no other nor better than you are--to dwell in a true light4 ,i have often insisted that the ,bible contains the only rules necessary in the study of politeness--or in other words1 that those who are the real disciples of ,christ1 cannot fail to be truly polite4 ,nor have ,i any reason for recalling this opinion2 from which that of ,miss ,sedgwick does not materially differ4 ,not that the same forms will be observed by every follower of ,christ1 in manifesting his politeness2 all ,i insist on is1 that every one will be truly polite4 ,let me illustrate my views in a very plain manner4 ,suppose a wandering female1 clad in the meanest apparel1 calls at a house1 to inquire the way to the next inn1 having just found the road to divide or fork in1 a very doubtful and difficult manner4 ,suppose there are no persons in the house1 but half a dozen females4 ,these1 we will also suppose1 are persons of real piety and true benevolence4 ,what does true politeness require of them1 but to give the stranger1 in a gentle and affectionate manner1 the necessary information8 ,but if every one is ready to perform the office which true politeness would dictate--and is consequently truly polite--there will probably be as many ways of manifesting these feelings1 as there are individuals present in the company4 ,one1 for example1 will give the stranger the best directions she can without leaving the room2 but will be in all respects exceedingly particular4 ,another will go to the door1 and there give the same directions4 ,a third will go with her into the street1 and there instruct her4 ,a fourth will go with her to the first or second fork of the road1 and there give further directions4 ,a fifth will send a boy with her4 ,a sixth will sketch the road plainly1 though coarsely1 with a pencil2 and mark1 in a proper manner1 the course she ought to pursue4 ,each one will instruct her in an intelligent manner1 so that there can hardly remain the possibility of a mistake2 but we see that there will be a considerable difference in the form4 ,it may be said in reply to this view of politeness1 that there are genuine disciples of ,christ1 who1 from ignorance of what they ought to do1 or from bad habits not yet subdued1 will not in such a case as ,i have described1 render any assistance at all2 and that they cannot1 of course1 be truly polite4 ,to which ,i have only to reply1 that such a thing can hardly happen2 and if it should1 the spirit of ,christianity would not lead to it--but it would be the result1 rather1 of a want of that spirit4 ,in short1 let the young woman who would be truly polite1 take her lessons1 not in the school of a hollow1 heartless world1 but in the school of ,jesus ,christ4 ,i know this counsel may be despised by the gay and fashionable2 but it will be much easier to despise it than to prove it to be incorrect4 ,always think of the good of the whole1 rather than of your own individual convenience1 says ,mrs4 ,farrar1 in her ,young ,ladies' ,friend3 a most excellent rule1 and one to which ,i solicit your earnest attention4 ,she who is thoroughly imbued with the gospel spirit1 will not fail to do so4 ,it was what our ,saviour did continually2 and ,i have no doubt that his was the purest specimen of good manners1 or genuine politeness1 the world has ever witnessed--the politeness of ,abraham himself not excepted4 ,,chapter ,,xxv4 ,,health ,,and ,,beauty4 ,dr4 ,bell's new work on ,health and ,beauty4 ,its value4 ,adam and ,eve probably very beautiful4 ,primitive beauty of our race to be yet restored4 ,sin the cause of present ugliness4 ,never too late to reform4 ,opinion of ,dr4 ,rush4 ,an important principle4 ,the doctrine of human perfectibility disavowed4 ,various causes of ugliness4 ,obedience to law1 natural and moral1 the true source of beauty4 ,indecency and immorality of neglecting cleanliness4 ,dr4 ,bell1 of ,philadelphia1 whose reputation as a medical man and an author is deservedly high1 has written a volume1 as the reader may already know1 entitled1 ,health and ,beauty--in which he endeavors to show that a pleasing contour1 symmetry of form1 and a graceful carriage of the body1 may be acquired1 and the common deformities of the spine and chest be prevented1 by a due obedience to the laws of growth and exercise4 ,these laws he has endeavored--and with considerable success--to present in a popular and intelligible manner4 ,nor was the task unworthy the efforts and pen of the gifted individual by whom it was executed4 ,young women1 of course1 are inclined to set a high value on beauty of form and feature1 as well as to dread1 more than most other persons1 what they regard as deformity4 ,surely they ought to be glad of a work like that ,i have described4 ,i have no wish to disparage beauty2 it is almost a virtue4 ,there can hardly be a doubt that ,adam and ,eve were exceedingly beautiful2 nor that so far as the world can be restored to its primitive state--which we hope may be the case in its future glorious ages--the pristine beauty of our race will be restored4 ,it is sin1 in the largest sense of the term1 which has distorted the human face divine1 disrobed it of half its charms2 and deprived the whole frame of its symmetry4 ,does any one ask1 of what possible service it can be to know these facts1 when it is too late to make use of them8 ,the truth is1 it can never be too late4 ,there is no person so old that she cannot improve her appearance1 more or less1 if she will but take the appropriate steps4 ,i do not1 of course1 mean to say1 that at twenty or thirty years of age a person can greatly alter the contour of the face1 or the symmetry of the frame2 though ,i believe some thing can be done1 even in these respects4 ,it was the saying of ,dr4 ,rush1 that husbands and wives who live happily together1 always come to resemble one another more and more1 in their very features2 and he accounted for it on the principle of an increased resemblance in their feelings1 tastes or dispositions4 ,and there are probably few who have not observed how much bad passions and bad habits distort the features of every body1 at every age4 ,then why should not ,dr4 ,rush be right2 and why should not good feelings and good affections change the countenance1 in a greater or less degree1 as well as bad ones8 ,and what reason1 then1 can be given why every young woman--certainly those who are far down in the column of teens--cannot change her countenance for the better1 if she will take the necessary pains for it8 ,that she can do but little1 is no reason why that little should not be done4 ,the very consideration that she can do but little1 enhances the importance of doing what she can4 ,let her remember this4 ,would that the principle were universally remembered and applied6 ,would that it were generally believed--and the belief acted upon--that the latter day glory of the world is to be brought about in no other way than by having every individual of every generation1 through a long series of generations1 do all in his power1 aided by wisdom and strength from on high1 to hasten it4 ,do not suppose that ,i entertain the belief1 as foolish as it is absorb1 that in any future glorious period of the world's history1 mankind will be perfectly beautiful1 or perfectly conformed to one standard of beauty4 ,i entertain no belief in human perfectibility4 ,i believe--and ,i wish to state this belief once for all1 that ,i may not be misunderstood--that we are destined1 if we are wise1 to approach perfection forever1 without the possibility of ever attaining to it2--to any perfection1 ,i mean1 which is absolute and unqualified4 ,nor do ,i believe that all mankind will ever become perfectly beautiful1 according to any particular standard of beauty4 ,this were neither useful nor desirable4 ,there will probably be as great a variety of features1 and possibly1 too1 of size and symmetry1 in the day of millennial glory1 as there is now4 ,what ,i believe1 is this4 ,that in falling1 with our first parents1 we fall physically as well as morally2 and that our physical departure from truth is almost as wide as our moral4 ,i suppose all the ugliness of the young--not1 of course1 all their variety of feature or complexion1 but all which constitutes real ugliness of appearance--comes directly or indirectly from the transgression of ,god's laws1 natural or moral2 and can only be restored by obedience to those laws by the transgression of which it came4 ,it is not tight dressing alone which spoils the shape2 but improper exercise1 neglect of exercise1 over exercise--and a thousand other things also4 ,nor is it the application of rouge alone1 which spoils the beauty4 ,there are a thousand physical transgressions that dim the lustre of the eye1 or sink it too deep in the socket1 or flatten it1 or paint a circle round it4 ,so of the face in general4 ,there are a thousand forms of transgression that take away the carnation of the lip and cheek1 and leave unnatural hues1 not to say pimples and furrows1 in its stead4 ,i might be much more particular4 ,i might show how every physical transgression--every breach of that part of the natural law which imposes on us the duty of proper attention to cleanliness1 exercise1 dress1 air1 temperature1 eating1 drinking1 sleeping1 c4--mars1 in a greater or less degree1 our beauty4 ,such a disclosure might be startling2 but it ought to be made4 ,dr4 ,bell1 in the volume mentioned1 has led the way2 and his work entitles him to a high place among the benefactors of our race4 ,but he has only begun the work2 the important honor of completing it1 remains to him1 or to some of his countrymen4 ,but enough on this subject1 for the present1 if ,i have convinced the reader whence her help1 in this respect1 is to come2--if ,i have convinced her that1 under ,god1 she is to restore her beauty only by becoming a true ,christian2 by having her whole being--body1 intellect and affections--brought into subjection to divine law1 especially by a prompt1 and minute1 and thorough obedience to all the laws of health and life1 as far as she understands them2 and by diligent effort to understand them better and better1 as long as she lives2 and1 lastly1 by the smiles of ,almighty ,god upon her labors and efforts4 ,,chapter ,,xxvi4 ,,neatness ,,and ,,cleanliness4 ,reasons for discussing these topics4 ,every person should undergo a thorough ablution once a day4 ,quotation from ,mrs4 ,farrar4 ,two important objects gained by cold bathing4 ,its value as an exercise4 ,various forms of bathing4 ,philosophy of this subject4 ,vast amount of dirt accumulating on the surface4 ,statement of ,mr4 ,buckingham ,bathing necessary in all employments4 ,offices of the skin1 and evil consequences of keeping it in an uncleanly condition4 ,after saying so much of the general importance of obeying the laws of life and health1 it seems1 at first view1 almost unnecessary to go farther into particulars than ,i have already done ,and yet ,i feel somewhat inclined to do so for two reasons4 ,first1 because ,i find several considerable errors in the advice given to young women in some of our young women's books1 in matters pertaining to their physical improvement1 which ,i should rejoice to be able to correct4 ,secondly1 because1 that in a work from me1 information of this kind will probably be expected4 ,and yet it seems quite common-place to advise a young woman on the subject of cleanliness in general2 and still more so1 to speak to her on the subject of personal neatness4 ,a young woman wanting in neatness6 ,at the first view of the case1 such a thing seems almost impossible4 ,would that it were so6 ,would that our daughters and sisters--the daughters and sisters of ,america1 especially--were so far apprized of this indispensable requisite1 as to need no monitor on the subject6 ,but1 unhappily1 it is not so4 ,very far from it1 on the contrary4 ,no person in tolerable health1 male or female1 seems to me to be entitled to be considered as neat--truly so--who does not wash the surface of the whole body in water1 daily4 ,but are there not multitudes who pass for models of neatness and cleanliness1 who do not perform this work for themselves half a dozen times--nay1 once--a year8 ,that ,i may not be regarded as wholly ultra on this subject1 because professedly a strong friend and advocate of physical education and physical improvement1 ,i beg leave to subjoin the following paragraphs from ,mrs4 ,farrar's ,young ,ladies' ,friend3 ,once1 at least1 in twenty-four hours1 the whole surface of the body should be washed in soap and water1 and receive the friction of a coarse towel1 or flesh brush1 or crash mitten4 ,this may be done by warm or cold bathing2 by a plunging or shower bath2 by means of a common wash tub2 and even without further preparation than an ordinary wash-bowl and sponge4 ,by washing a small part of the person at a time1 rubbing it well1 and then covering what is done1 the whole may be washed in cold water1 even in winter time2 and a glow may be produced after it1 in a young and healthy person4 ,it is common for persons who are in the habit of sponging over with cold water every morning1 or of taking the shower or plunging bath1 to omit it when they have a slight cold1 or sore throat1 or a touch of rheumatism2 whereas1 if it were properly done so as to produce a glow all over the skin1 their habitual ablutions would be the best remedy for the beginnings of evil4 99 99 99 ,if not sure1 in such a case1 of producing a glow after the use of the cold water1 it will be better to use the warm1 in order to make the skin do its office freely4 ,but to cease your customary bathing at such times1 is to increase all your difficulties4 ,many think it impossible to make this thorough washing when the weather is very cold1 and that they must do it in rooms never warmed by a fire2 but in healthy and vigorous persons1 the glow after washing would be so great1 as to more than compensate for the momentary chill4 ,by washing the body in cold water every day1 and following it by friction1 according to the recommendation of ,mrs4 ,f41 you gain1 at once1 two important objects4 ,you secure to yourself the benefits of cleanliness1 and of a vast amount of exercise1 and consequent vigor4 ,i say a vast amount2 but this depends much on yourself4 ,you may make a great deal of it1 or only a little4 ,i know of one teacher who says his cold bath and friction are worth two hours of ordinary exercise to him every day4 ,but two hours of ordinary exercise a day1 is much more than the whole which is taken by some of our young women4 ,i have spoken of the vigor derived from cold bathing4 ,this is gained in two ways4 ,first1 directly1 by the action of the muscles or moving powers1 which ,i have partially described in the chapter on ,exercise4 ,secondly1 indirectly1 through the medium of sympathy4 ,i know of no one thing which costs so little time and effort--7for the work may be done after it has become natural and habitual1 in twelve or fifteen minutes7--which secures1 at the same time1 such an amount of exercise and bodily vigor1 as daily cold bathing4 ,the particular forms of bathing are numerous4 ,among these1 are the simple washing with the hand1 spoken of by ,mrs4 ,farrar2 sponging2 immersion in a tub or stream2 and the shower bath4 ,all these1 except1 of course1 washing in a stream1 may be done with cold1 tepid1 warm or hot water2 and may be continued for a greater or less time--although1 in general1 the cold bath should be a quick operation4 ,let me now present the reader with a physiological explanation of the use and necessity of frequent ablution and bathing2 derived1 in substance1 from a little tract already before the public4 ,footnote3 ,see ,thoughts on ,bathing4 page #h4 ,i use the language of the tract1 because ,i can use none which is better for my present purpose4 ,the dust accumulates on the surface of our bodies much more readily1 and adheres much more firmly1 and in much larger quantities1 than is usually supposed1 and than by many would be credited4 ,mr4 ,buckingham1 the ,oriental traveller1 asserts that from two to three pounds of it are sometimes removed from the whole surface of a person who has for some time neglected bathing and washing1 in a tropical climate2 and this1 under some circumstances1 may possibly have been the case4 ,for not only does the moisture of the skin favor its accumulation1 but so also does the oily substance continually poured out by the small bottle-shaped glands--sebaceous glands1 as they are called--which are found in the skin in great numbers1 with their mouths opening on its surface4 ,nothing1 indeed1 can be more obvious to an enlightened and reflecting mind1 than the indispensable necessity of frequent ablutions of the body in some form or other4 ,it will1 indeed1 be said--it is often said--that much depends1 in this respect1 upon the nature of our occupation4 ,the farmer1 the smith1 the manufacturer--the individual1 in one word1 whose employment is most uncleanly--will be thought to need frequent attentions of this kind1 while those whose employments are quiet and sedentary1 will need them less frequently4 ,but it should not be forgotten1 that although frequent bathing and cleansing are indispensable to those whose employments expose them to a great deal of dust1 yet they are scarcely less necessary to the sedentary2 and for the following reason3--,the active nature of the employments of the former1 and their exposure to the open air1 break up the coating of oil and dirt with which they are enveloped1 and render it more pervious to the matter of perspiration1 than the thinner1 but not less tenacious varnish which covers the surface of the sedentary4 ,on the whole1 therefore1 ,i regard bathing and thorough cleansing of the skin1 as of nearly equal importance in all the varied circumstances of age1 sex1 climate and occupation4 ,we must not omit to observe1 that whatever changes take place in the lungs1 by the action of the air upon the blood in the small vessels of those organs1 to purify and renovate it1 take place all over the surface of the body2 that in this respect1 therefore1 the skin may be regarded as a sort of appendage to the lungs2 and that if the skin he varnished over with a mixture of oil and dust1 so that it cannot perform its office1 an unreasonable burden will be thrown upon the lungs1 which will thereby be weakened1 and predisposed to disease4 ,i have not a doubt1 that a universal neglect of cleanliness not only favors1 in this way1 the production of lung diseases--especially of those colds which are so frequent in our climate1 and which often pave the way for other and still more dangerous diseases--but also that it tends to aggravate such diseases of the lungs as may already exist1 or to whose existence there may be in us1 either by inheritance or otherwise--a predisposition4 ,this temporary suspension of the offices of the skin is1 however1 peculiarly dangerous to those who are of light complexion1 slender form1 with a long neck1 and narrow shoulders projecting almost like wings--indicating a chest whose internal organs1 as well as external dimensions1 are comparatively small and feeble1 and therefore poorly prepared to do that work which belongs to other parts or organs4 ,let all persons beware of compelling the lungs to work for the skin2 but above all1 those who have the particular structure to which ,i have alluded4 ,it is hardly necessary that ,i should advert1 here1 to the repugnance felt by our sex1 to those young women whose external appearance bespeaks a want of attention to this subject4 ,but it is necessary that ,i should allude to the indecency of that neglect--by no means uncommon--which renders the odor of the perspiration very disagreeable1 or increases its disagreeableness by means of accumulations of grease and dirt on the skin4 ,they should also be reminded that there is1 somehow or other1 7,i know not how1 exactly17 a very general connection between external and internal purity4 ,it is exceedingly uncommon--,i had almost said1 quite so--to find an individual who pays a daily close attention to neatness and cleanliness of person and dress1 who does not1 at the same time1 possess a reputation which is not only above reproach1 but also quite above suspicion4 ,,chapter ,,xxvii4 ,,dress ,,and ,,ornament4 ,legitimate purposes of dress--as a covering1 a regulator of temperature1 and a defence4 ,use of ornaments4 ,further thoughts on dress4 ,how clothing keeps us warm4 ,errors in regard to the material1 quality1 and form of our dress4 ,tight lacing--its numerous evils4 ,improvement of the lungs by education4 ,objections to the use of personal ornaments4 ,when we remember that the threefold object of dress is to cover1 warm and defend us1 and that the kind and quantity of dress which best does this1 is most conducive to our own and the public good1 as well as to the glory of ,god1 we are led1 very naturally1 to the following reflections3 #a4 ,we have no right to use that kind of dress which does not answer well the purpose of a ,,covering1 ad long as we can lawfully obtain that which would do it better4 ,all fashions1 moreover1 which tend to remind the beholder that our dress is designed as a covering1 are nearly as improper as those which do not effectually cover us4 ,and here let me say1 with sufficient plainness1 that there are such fashions in existence2 and that they ought to be shunned like the plague4 ,does not the world in which we live1 contain sources enough of temptation1 and avenues enough to vice1 seduction and misery1 without increasing their number by our dress8 ,footnote3 ,i cannot refrain from saying1 in this place1 that since ,i wrote the above paragraph1 ,i have received an excellent letter from a worthy minister of the gospel1 on the subject of female dress which1 besides greatly confirming the views ,i have expressed in this chapter1 suggests the importance of having a standard dress devised--to be formed on ,christian principles1 and made fashionable by ,christian example4 ,if such a measure is desirable1 it is yours1 young women1 to put it in operation4 ,i need to specify but one fashion in the list of those to which ,i refer4 ,it is the fashion of exposing the neck and a part of the chest4 ,i could tell young women1 that it would be wisdom to remove this dangerous custom1 were health entirely out of the question4 ,a word to the wise--to adopt the language of ,solomon--is sufficient4 ,may it prove so1 in the present instance4 ,let not the young of the other sex1 miseducated as they now are1 and the slaves of improper imaginations and feelings1 be longer trifled with in this matter4 #b4 ,we have no right to use any articles of clothing-when we have it in our power1 by lawful means1 to prevent it--whose tendency is directly contrary to what has been laid down as the second great object of dress1 that of ,,assisting ,,to ,,keep ,,our ,,bodies ,,at ,a ,,proper ,,temperature4 ,it would be idle to pretend that clothing1 in itself considered1 is a source of warmth to our bodies4 ,it is only so by the relation it bears to our bodies2 or1 in other words1 by the circumstances in which it is placed4 ,our own bodies--their internal1 living machinery1 rather--are the principal sources of our heat4 ,clothing is useful in keeping us warm1 only by retaining1 for some time1 a portion of the heat of our bodies1 which would otherwise escape so rapidly into the ambient cooler air1 as to leave us with a sensation of chilliness4 ,it should1 therefore1 be adapted to the season4 ,that clothing which conducts the heat from the body in the slowest manner1 or1 in other words1 impedes most its progress1 is best adapted to severe cold weather2 provided1 however1 it does not keep the heated air in contact with the body so long as to render it impure4 ,and1 on the contrary1 that clothing which most readily allows the heat to escape from our bodies1 is1 in hot weather1 the best adapted to our health and happiness4 ,i have said that the internal machinery of out bodies is the great source of our heat4 ,foremost1 perhaps1 in this work1 are the lungs1 the stomach1 the brain and nervous system1 and the circulatory system1 including the heart1 arteries1 veins and absorbents4 ,our moving powers--the muscles and tendons--have1 indeed1 much to do with generating our heat2 but it is principally by the assistance which they render to the digestive1 the nutritive1 the respiratory1 the circulatory1 and the thinking machinery4 ,the fat of our bodies has also something to do in promoting our warmth2 but it is only on the same principle as that by which it is done by our clothing2 that is to say1 it prevents the heat from being conducted off too rapidly4 ,all these internal organs--and1 in fact1 all the living machinery of our bodies--have the power to generate heat and diffuse it over the system1 in proportion to the freedom and energy of their action2 or1 to express the same idea in fewer words1 in proportion to their health4 ,but this is not all4 ,they have not only the power of generating heat in proportion to their healthiness1 but also of resisting cold4 ,who does not know that the living system1 at ninety-eight degrees of ,fahrenheit1 will resist a temperature nearly one hundred and fifty degrees lower than this1 ,footnote3 ,during the present winter1 the mercury in this vicinity has ranged1 in one or two instances1 as low as #ad or #af degrees below zero2 which is #aab or #aad degrees below the heat of the blood4 ,in some parts of ,new ,england it has been #bj or #cj degrees below4 and yet for some time not freeze8 ,perhaps this is done1 however1 in the same way in which a more moderate amount of heat is generated4 ,perhaps the increased muscular and nervous energy1 and the increased activity of the other organs1 enable them to generate heat as fast1 as the increased cold around carries it off4 ,but the conclusion4 ,i would at present enforce from these physiological premises1 is the following3--,that whenever our dress1 by means of its material1 form or quantity1 has a tendency to weaken our internal organs1 or any one of them1 and thus to prevent the free and energetic performance of their several functions1 it is injurious1 and its use is wrong1 not to say sinful4 ,this is sometimes done by clothing which irritates and excites the surface of the body too much4 ,coarse flannel is more irritating than any other material in ordinary use1 and should therefore never be used when a sufficient amount of bodily heat can be maintained without it2 as its use weakens1 in the end1 the perspiratory1 and calorific1 and depurating powers of the skin--for the skin has all these powers--and even1 in some cases1 brings on eruptive and other diseases4 ,fine flannel is more irritating than cotton2 and the latter1 more so than linen4 ,still1 there are multitudes who cannot get along without flannel1 at some seasons1 either coarser or finer4 ,the evil of which ,i have spoken is1 however1 much oftener induced by error in regard to the quantity of dress1 than its quality4 ,as to quantity1 we need no more than is just necessary1 along with healthy and vigorous exercise1 to keep us from being sensibly cold or chilly4 ,any amount beyond this1 be its nature what it may1 is debilitating1 and consequently more or less injurious4 ,but the form of our dress often does injury2 as well as its material and quantity4 ,with some classes of our community1 this is a greater evil than either of the former2 though with others1 it is not4 ,all forms of dress which impede any kind of motion1 especially those which impede circulatory motion1 are greatly injurious4 ,it is1 ,i suppose1 pretty well known1 that all parts of the skin are full of minute blood vessels1 chiefly veins2 in addition to which1 there are also a great number of veins still larger1 immediately under the skin1 and connected with it1 as may be observed by looking at the hands or limbs of very aged or very lean persons4 ,now the tendency or course of the blood in all the veins1 is towards the heart2 and this course is slower or more rapid1 according as the skin is more or less active1 healthy and free4 ,a rapid course of the blood in these veins1 is desirable1 because it has become1 in the progress of its circulation1 greatly impure1 and in the same proportion unfit to minister to the purposes of health--and needs to go on to the heart1 and through that to the lungs1 to be relieved of its load of impurities4 ,is it not plain1 then1 that all compression of the skin by cravats1 wristbands1 waistbands1 belts1 garters1 or any other form of ligatures1 must be wrong6 ,must it not impede the motion of the venous blood in its return to the heart8 ,must not even light boots1 garters1 stockings1 c41 do this8 ,is it not a task sufficiently difficult for the blood to climb from the feet to the heart1 directly against the power of gravity1 without being impeded1 is its course1 by compression of any sort--and above all1 by ligatures4 ,but if these ordinary compressions of the surface of our bodies are so injurious1 what are we to say of the practice of many females1 and of most young women--at least in fashionable life--of compressing the chest8 ,for in compressing this part of the frame1 though we do not impede the action of so much blood in its return to the heart as might be supposed1 we do a great deal more injury in many other respects than is usually known4 ,i must advert to the various items of this injury4 ,first--compressing the chest1 by dress or otherwise1 prevents free motion of the trunk of the body4 ,we can1 indeed1 bend the body a little1 notwithstanding the compression2 but not so freely1 and not therefore so healthfully4 ,secondly--compression of the chest prevents the lungs and heart--the principal organs wholly contained in its cavity--from expanding1 and doing their work in a proper manner4 ,if there were no compression by ligatures or otherwise1 of any other part of the system1 and if the impure blood came back to the lungs for renovation as fast as it ought1 still it would not be properly depurated or renovated1 unless the lungs acted in a full1 healthy and rigorous manner4 ,but this they cannot do1 unless the chest is left free from external compression4 ,their internal expansion and enlargement is limited by the external1 much in the same way as the space in a bellows is limited or extended according as the bellows itself is expanded or compressed4 ,if the muscles concerned in moving the chest---near a hundred in number--do not properly act2 if the breast-bone1 when we inhale air1 is not thrown forward1 and the ribs thrown outward and upward so as to increase1 very greatly1 the size of the internal cavity2 then the venous blood which is brought into the lungs to be purified and cleansed1 cannot--,i repeat it--be purified and cleansed as it ought to be2 and the whole system must suffer the consequences1 in being fed and nourished on impure1 and ,i might say poisonous blood4 ,this is the case when the lungs are compressed during a single breath3 how great1 then1 is the evil1 when the compression continues an hour--during which period we probably breathe ten or twelve hundred times6 ,how much greater still1 when it is continued through the waking hours of a day1 say fifteen or sixteen--in which period we breathe nearly twenty thousand times--and a young woman of twelve to fifteen years of age1 probably more6 ,but think of the evil as extended to a year1 or three hundred and sixty-five days6 or to a whole life of thirty1 fifty or seventy years6 ,how much poisoned blood must go through the living system in sixty or seventy years1 should the injured system last so long6 ,and how many bad feelings1 and how much severe pain and suffering1 and chronic and acute disease1 must almost inevitably be undergone6 ,thirdly--this poisoning of the blood1 however1 is not all4 ,the chest1 so constantly compressed1 even if the compression is not begun in early infancy1 shrinks to a much smaller size than is natural1 and in a few years becomes incapable of holding more than half or two thirds as much air as before2 so that if the compression is removed1 the injury cannot be wholly restored--though if removed any time before thirty-five years of age1 something may be done towards restoration4 ,but not only is the cavity diminished permanently in size2 the bones and tendons are bent out-of their place1 and made to compress either the lungs themselves1 or the other contiguous organs1 as the heart1 the liver and the stomach1 and to disturb the proper performance of their respective offices or functions4 ,fourthly-tight lacing1 as ,i have already said1 compresses the heart as well as the lungs1 and impedes the motion of this important organ4 ,the suffering and disease which are thus entailed on transgression1 if not quite so great in amount as that which is induced by the abuse of the lungs1 is yet very great--and added to the former1 greatly diminishes the sum total of human happiness1 and increases1 in the same proportion1 our miseries and our woes4 ,fifthly--the stomach is also a sufferer--and the liver2 and1 indeed1 all the other organs4 ,there is suffering1 not only from being in actual contact with each other1 but also from sympathy and fellow feeling4 ,i have adverted to that law1 by which1 if one member or organ of the human system suffer1 all the others suffer with it4 ,this is very remarkably the case with the lungs1 when they suffer4 ,other organs suffer with them from mere sympathy2 and that to a very great extent4 ,this is especially true of the cerebral and nervous system2 and of that portion of the general system which gives to woman her peculiar prerogative1 as well as her distinctive character4 ,let no young woman forget1 moreover1 that she lives1 not for herself alone1 but for others2 and that if she injures health and life by improper dress1 she does it not for herself alone1 but for all those who shelter their abuses under her example1 as well as for all those who may hereafter be more immediately influenced by her present conduct4 ,let her neither forget her responsibility nor her accountability4 ,would to ,god that she could see this matter as it truly is1 and as she will be likely to see it in years to come6 ,let it be remembered1 moreover1 that as we can diminish the size of the chest by compressing it1 so we can enlarge it1 gradually--especially in early life--by extra effort2 or by general exercise2 but especially such general exercise as ,i have mentioned in a former chapter--,i mean1 moderate labor in the garden or in the field1 and in house-keeping4 ,nor is spinning on a high wheel--which requires not only walking to and fro1 but also considerable motion of the arms and chest--a very bad exercise4 ,a great deal may also be done by reading aloud in a proper manner1 and by conversation2 and especially by singing4 ,i believe that by a proper education of the lungs--instead of the modern custom of uneducating them--it would be possible1 in the course of a few successive ages1 greatly to enlarge the cavity containing them4 ,and if this can be done1 it will be a means of promoting1 in the same degree1 the tone and vigor1 not only of the lungs themselves1 but also of the whole physical frame2 and the aggregate gain to our race would be immense4 ,let us think of the amazing difference between a race which has been deteriorating in body and mind1 from generation to generation1 and at the same time suffering from disease in a thousand forms1 and one which is not only free from primitive disease1 but gradually improving1 both bodily and mentally1 and in a fair way to go on improving for centuries--perhaps thousands of years--to come6 #c4 ,we have no right to use that dress as a ,,defence which does not answer this purpose1 so long as we can get that which does2 provided it answers neither of the other two purposes already mentioned4 ,now1 are there not a great number of articles of clothing worn1 whose use cannot be justified on these principles8 ,does not the greater part of human time and labor which is expended on dress1 both by the maker and the wearer1 go to answer other purposes than these8 ,is it not expended for mere ornament8 ,and is such an expenditure right8 ,my own conviction is1 that we are bound1 as ,christians--and as such1 ,i must consider my readers in this favored country--to use that dress1 and that alone1 which answers the great purposes of dress2 and that were the subject viewed in its true and just light1 all beyond this should be regarded as sinful4 ,what ,i suppose these great purposes of dress are1 has already been mentioned4 ,in short1 ,i suppose that our duty is1 to dress in such a way1 if our circumstances permit it1 as will be best for the purposes of merely clothing1 tempering and defending our bodies4 ,that material1 that quantity1 and those forms of dress1 which we suppose best accomplish this1 should be adopted as fast as they are known4 ,such a view will1 of course1 be opposed by the devotees of fashion2 but not1 ,i think1 by many of those who know they cannot serve two masters--,god and mammon1 or ,god and the fashions--and that it is their duty to devote themselves1 unreservedly1 to the worship and service of the former4 ,i shall also be opposed by another class--the devotees of utility1 or a species of what ,i call utilitarianism4 ,they will say that ,i am a utilitarian1 of the rankest sort2 that ,i would destroy all just taste1 all industry1 all division of labor1 all commerce1 and all wealth4 ,but is it so8 ,is that proved to be a just taste1 to which the views here presented seem to be opposed8 ,where is the proof1 and by whom has it been adduced8 ,i am no advocate for a utilitarianism which excludes just taste3 but ,i believe our tastes to be depraved by the fall1 no less than our affections2 that they are not1 as some suppose1 free from sin--though less sinful1 perhaps1 than our moral tastes and preferences4 ,i believe that a taste which is not conformed to the nature of things and to the law of ,god1 is a perverted taste2 and that the modern taste in regard to dress and ornament1 is1 to a great extent1 of this description4 ,and does there remain no room for industry when personal ornaments are excluded8 ,as well might it be said that the exclusion of all drinks but water1 would strike a death-blow at industry4 ,is there nothing left for people to do1 because you take away ornament8 ,perhaps1 indeed1 if all personal ornament were to be taken away suddenly1 it might give a temporary check to industry1 and seem to conflict with the principal of a division of labor4 ,but this cannot happen1 except it were by miraculous agency4 ,the utmost that can be rationally expected at present by the most sanguine1 would be1 that professing ,christians should exclude it2 nor could they1 as a body1 be expected to do it at once4 ,one here1 and another there1 would renounce1 as wrong1 what he had been accustomed to think right2 and this would give society time to adjust itself1 and preserve its balance2 as it has done in the case of every great and important change of public opinion4 ,but we are gravely told by several writers on this subject1 that as a nation's wealth is derived from a division of labor1 it follows1 that to deny ourselves all ornament1 would be a great injury to the community4 ,what a strange inference6 ,is there nothing for people to do1 in this world1 ,i again ask1 but to make ornaments8 ,or can it be that they form so important a division of human labor1 that to dispense with them in the only way in which it is possible1 humanly speaking1 to do so--that is1 by enlightening public opinion1 and appealing to the conscientious--is to take away the wealth of the nation8 ,i deny1 most resolutely1 that mere artificial ornaments make any considerable part of a nation's real wealth4 ,that which tends to make us healthier in all the functions of our bodies--which developes and improves all the faculties of our minds--and which developes and cultivates1 to the highest possible extent1 all the good affections of the soul-is alone worthy of the name of wealth4 ,i do not deny1 that he who makes two stalks of grain grow where only one grew before1 is a public benefactor4 ,i do not deny that1 for certain purposes in the arts--in architecture1 especially--he who polishes a gem1 or a block of marble1 may also be a public benefactor4 ,this is a very different thing from preparing and applying ornaments to our persons2 and may be1 to some extent1 useful4 ,but ,i am still assured1 that those who make a person healthier than before1 or improve his intellect1 or are a means of awakening in him a love to ,god and man1 and of promoting its growth where it is already awakened1 are benefactors to the world in a degree infinitely higher1 and add to its true riches almost infinitely more4 ,it is health1 knowledge and excellence--we again say--which exalt a nation2 and these are its true wealth4 ,fifteen millions of free men1 all as healthy as the most perfect specimen which could now be found among us2 all as wise as the wisest man in the world2 and all as virtuous and excellent as ,aristides1 or ,howard1 or ,benezet1 or ,john1 the beloved apostle1 himself--what a national treasure they would be6 what a revenue of true wealth they would afford6 ,now1 if fifteen millions of such people would be a source of national wealth before unheard of1 would not every individual of this whole number be a source of wealth8 ,and would not every element which should go to make up the sum total of the excellences of each individual1 be a part of this mighty treasure8 ,if the richer part of the community have money to spare1 why should they not spend it in increasing the health1 the knowledge1 and the morality of the needy around them--by giving employment to those who are capable of promoting these blessings1 and who want employment8 ,it will be said1 ,i know1 that the great multitude of persons around us are not fit for more elevated employments4 ,no2 nor will they ever be1 in any considerable numbers1 until they come to be employed in this way much more frequently than they now are4 ,let there be an urgent demand in the market for a commodity1 and it usually soon comes to be abundant4 ,let there be a demand for laborers in the mental and moral field--in this more elevated garden of the ,lord--and they will1 ere long1 be furnished2 and the more persons there are employed in this way1 and who consequently come into the habit of fitting themselves to be thus employed1 the richer will be the national treasury4 ,that many young women1 who read this chapter1 will wholly lay aside their ornaments1 and fit themselves1 as fast as possible1 for the noble purpose of ornamenting those around them1 by promoting their physical1 intellectual and moral well being1 can hardly be expected4 ,but ,i do hope that ,i shall lead a few to expend less of time and money in dressing and ornamenting their persons than heretofore1 and more in dressing and ornamenting the immortal mind1 as well as more in promoting health of body4 ,i cannot but hope to live to see the day1 when every person who professes the name of ,jesus ,christ1 and not a few who make no professions at all1 will entertain similar views in regard to the purposes of dress and their own duty in relation to it1 to those which ,i have endeavored to inculcate4 ,such a day must surely come1 sooner or later2 and ,i hope that those who believe this1 will make it their great rule to expend as little on themselves as possible1 and yet answer the true intentions of the ,creator respecting themselves4 ,there is a very wide difference between spending as much as we can on our persons--in the gratification1 ,i mean1 of the wants of our depraved tastes1 under the specious plea that it encourages commerce and industry--and spending as little as we can on ourselves1 and as much as possible in promoting the health1 the learning1 and the piety of ourselves and those around us4 ,the former has been tried for centuries--with what result1 let the state of society and our misnamed refinement bear witness4 ,let the latter be tried but half as long1 and the world will be surprised at the results4 ,foremost in this work of reform1 should be our millions of young women4 ,they should be so for two reasons4 ,first1 because their influence and responsibilities to coming generations are great1 and1 secondly1 because they are at present greatly involved in the practical error of loving external ornaments too well1 and of valuing too little the ornaments of a healthy body1 a sound mind1 and a good heart4 ,i am often pained to hear the reproach cast upon females1 and especially upon the younger of the sex1 that they are fond of the far-fetched and dear-bought1 even when they are the less valuable4 ,it should not be so4 ,they should be above the suspicion of such a weakness4 ,what else can be expected1 however1 when those who should be the guardians of the public taste--and who should1 as ,christian citizens1 strive with all their might to elevate it--engage in pandering to the follies1 not to say the depravities1 of the age8 ,let young women rise above themselves1 and escape the snares thus laid for them by those who ought to be their guides to the paths of wisdom1 and virtue1 and happiness4 ,,chapter ,,xxviii4 ,,dosing ,,and ,,drugging4 ,tendency of young women to dosing and drugging4 ,nervousness4 ,qualms of the stomach4 ,eating between our meals--its mischiefs4 ,evils of direct dosing4 ,what organs are injured4 ,confectionery4 ,the danger from quacks and quackery4 ,fallen as human nature--our physical nature with the rest--now is1 there are seasons in the lives of almost all of us1 when we are either ill1 or fear we shall be so4 ,and young women1 as well as others1 have their seasons of debility1 and their fears1 and even their sick days4 ,they have their colds1 their coughs1 their sick headaches1 their indigestions1 and their consumptions4 ,above all--and more frequently by far than almost any thing else--they have those undefinable and indescribable feelings of ennui1 which1 for want of a better name1 are called1 in their various forms1 nervousness4 ,when the unpleasant sensations to which ,i have just alluded1 are referred to the region of the stomach1 and only produce a few qualms1 young women are not1 in general1 so apt to take medicine1 as to eat something to keep down their bad feelings--as a bit of seed-cake1 a little fruit1 some cloves or cinnamon1 or a piece of sugar4 ,this1 though better than to take medicine1 is yet a very bad practice2 for although momentary relief is secured in this way1 it never fails to increase the unpleasant sensations in the end4 ,i ought to say somewhere--and ,i know of no better place than this--that the habit of eating between our regular meals1 even the smallest thing whatever2 is of very mischievous tendency2 and this for several reasons4 ,first--the stomach needs its seasons of entire rest2 but those persons who eat between their meals seldom give any rest to their stomachs1 except during the night4 ,secondly--eating things in this way injures the general appetite4 ,thirdly--the habit is apt to increase in strength1 and is difficult to break4 ,fourthly--it does not afford relief1 except for a very short time4 ,on the contrary1 as ,i have already intimated1 it increases the trouble in the end4 ,this eating of such simple things1 ,i have said1 is quite bad enough2 but there are errors which are worse4 ,such is the habit of taking an extra cup of tea or coffee--extra1 either as respects the number of cups or the strength4 ,now tea and coffee-and sometimes either of them--are very apt to afford1 like eating a little food1 a temporary relief4 ,indeed1 the sufferer often gains so long a respite from her sufferings1 that the narcotic beverage which she takes is supposed to be the very medicine needed1 and the very one adapted to her case4 ,the like erroneous conclusion is often made after using1 with the same apparent good effect1 certain hot herb teas4 ,yet1 ,i repeat it1 such medicinal mixtures usually--perhaps ,i should say always--aggravate the complaint in the end1 by deranging still more the powers and functions of the stomach1 and debilitating still more the cerebral and nervous system4 ,different and various are the external applications made to the head1 in these circumstances2 but all1 usually1 with the same success2 they only produce a little temporary relief4 ,the same may be said of the use of smelling bottles--containing1 as ,i believe they usually do1 ammonia or hartshorn1 cologne water1 camphor1 c4 ,the manner in which these operate to produce mischief1 is1 however1 very different from that of the former4 ,they irritate the nasal membrane1 and dry it1 if they do not slowly destroy its sensibility4 ,they also1 in some way1 affect seriously the tender brain4 ,in any event1 they ought seldom to be used by the sick or the well4 ,nor is this all4 ,they are inhaled--to irritate and injure the lining membrane of the lungs4 ,trifling as it may seem to many1 ,i never find that a young woman keeps a cologne bottle in her dressing room1 or a smelling bottle about her--or perfumes her clothes--or is in the habit of eating1 every now and then1 a little coriander1 or fennel1 or cloves1 or cinnamon--without trembling for her safety4 ,persisting long in this habit1 she will as inevitably injure her brain and nervous system1 her lungs or her stomach--ay1 and her teeth too--as she continues the habit4 ,i never knew a young woman who had used any of these things1 year after year1 for a long series of years1 whose system was not already suffering therefrom2 and if ,i were fond of giving or receiving challenges1 ,i should not hesitate to challenge the whole world to produce a single instance of the kind4 ,in the very nature of things it cannot be4 ,such persons may tell us they are well1 when we make an attack upon their habits2 but take them when off their guard1 and we hear1 at times1 quite a different story4 ,in regard to the daily1 or even the occasional use of the stronger drugs of the apothecary's shop--whether this shop is found in the family or elsewhere--,i would fain hope many of our young women may claim an entire immunity4 ,it seems to me to be enough1 that they should spoil their breath1 their skin1 their stomachs and their nerves1 with perfumes1 aromatic seeds and spices1 confectionary1 and the like1 without adding thereto the more active poisons--as laudanum1 camphor1 picra1 antimony1 c4 ,the mention of the word confectionary1 in the last paragraph1 brings to my mind a congregated host of evils which befall young women1 as the legitimate consequences of its use4 ,some may suppose that the class of young women for whom ,i am writing1 have little to do with confectionary2 that they have risen above it4 ,would that it were so6 ,but that it is not1 many a teacher of young ladies' boarding schools1 female seminaries1 c4--to say nothing of parents--might abundantly testify4 ,that they are very often the dupes of the quacks and quackery with which our age abounds--or at least1 that they take many of the pills1 and cough drops1 and bitters1 and panaceas of the day--,i will not believe4 ,much as they err to their own destruction1 ,i trust they have not yet sunk so low as this4 ,,chapter ,,xxix4 ,,taking ,,care ,,of ,,the ,,sick4 ,the art of taking care of the sick should be a part of female education4 ,five reasons for this4 ,doing good4 ,doing good by proxy4 ,great value of personal services4 ,how can young women be trained to these services8 ,contagion4 ,breathing bad air4 ,aged nurses4 ,scientific instruction of nurses4 ,visiting and taking care of the sick1 a religious duty4 ,appeal to young women4 ,the art of taking care of the sick1 should be considered an indispensable part of female education4 ,some of the reasons for this are the following3 #a4 ,as society now is1 there is danger that the number of our young women who fall into a state of indifference1 not to say absolute disgust1 with the world and with life1 will greatly increase1 unless the sex can be led1 by an improved course of education1 to exercise more of that active sympathy with suffering which prompts to assist in relieving it4 #b4 ,nurses of the sick are greatly needed4 ,it not unfrequently happens1 that good nurses cannot be obtained1 male or female1 except by going very far in search for them4 ,and yet it would seem that every one must know the importance of good nurses1 from the prevalence of the maxim--not more prevalent than just--,a good nurse is worth as much as a physician4 ,what physician has not1 again and again1 seen all his efforts fail to do any good1 because not sustained by the labors of a skilful1 intelligent1 faithful and persevering nurse8 ,this condition is one of the most trying that can befall him2 and yet1 trying as it is1 it is his very frequent lot4 #c4 ,females are better qualified--other things being the same--for attending the sick1 than males4 ,they not only have a softer hand1 and more kindness and gentleness1 but they are also more devoted to whatever they undertake2 and they have more fortitude in scenes of trial and distress4 ,their thoughts are1 moreover1 less engrossed by the cares of business1 and by other objects1 than those of our sex4 ,they seem formed for days1 and months1 and years of watchfulness--not only over our earliest infancy1 but also over our first and second childhood4 ,and it were strange indeed1 if nature1 in qualifying them for all this1 had not qualified them to watch over us during the few short years that intervene4 ,there may1 indeed1 be instances--there certainly are some such--where the physical strength of females1 unaided1 is not sufficient for the task of which ,i am speaking4 ,for the most part1 however1 it is gentleness1 and patience1 and fortitude1 which are most wanted and in these1 woman stands pre-eminent4 #d4 ,it is often advantageous to have female assistance in taking care of the sick1 because it can be afforded at a much lower rate than that of males4 ,there are females who need the avails of these labors for a livelihood2 but not having been trained to them1 they are not1 of course1 employed4 ,hence there is suffering in both ways4 ,the sick suffer in the loss of the needed help1 and the indigent woman suffers for want of the avails of that labor which she might have been trained to perform4 ,one great advantage of being able thus to obtain female attendants at a cheaper rate1 is that the sick would be more likely to have the regular attention1 or at least1 the general care1 of the same individual4 ,thousands and thousands of sick people have died1 who might easily have recovered1 had they been able to employ a regular nurse4 ,where a change of nurses takes place almost every day1 no one of them feels that degree of responsibility which it is highly desirable that somebody1 in this capacity1 should feel4 #e4 ,i have spoken of the necessity of having young women trained to the art of taking care of the sick1 that it may open a door to their sympathies4 ,but it should also be done to open the door to their charities4 ,such charities as the gratuitous attendance of the sick1 where it can be afforded1 are among the most valuable which can possibly be bestowed4 ,footnote3 ,i mean1 here1 to speak only of those charities which go to correct the evils1 which are in the world2 for however great the good we may do in spending time and influence in correcting evil1 the same amount of effort1 rightly applied1 must always do still more good in the way of prevention4 ,had we ever so much money to give to the sick and distressed1 it might be misapplied2 or1 at least1 applied in a way we should not approve4 ,even if it were spent to procure good attendance1 are we quite sure our own attendance would not be still more useful8 ,is it not always better to do the good ourselves--provided we are competent to do it--than by proxy2 especially1 by employing those whom we know little or nothing of8 ,if we do all the good we are able to do1 with our own hands1 we feel that we have better discharged our duty1 than if we had first turned our labor into money1 and then applied the money to the same purpose4 ,but how is it possible1 ,i shall doubtless be asked1 that in a healthy community like that of our own ,new ,england1 young women generally can be trained to understand this office8 ,there is no great difficulty in the case4 ,healthy as we are--that is1 comparatively so--we have in every neighborhood1 if not in every family1 ample opportunities for initiating the young into this most indispensable art4 ,it is not expected1 nor is it indeed desirable1 that they should be fully employed1 or made fully responsible1 at first4 ,there should be a sort of apprenticeship served1 to this trade as well as to any other4 ,indeed1 ,i hardly know of an occupation or an art1 which more demands a long apprenticeship1 than this4 ,put1 as ,i was going on to say1 let young women1 at a very early age1 be gradually inducted into the office4 ,some young female of their own age1 is perhaps sick4 ,let them solicit their mother and the friends of the diseased1 to permit them to be present a part or all of the time1 that they may observe and early understand the art of taking care of the sick4 ,let the young woman solicit her mother1 ,i say2 because ,i apprehend1 as ,i have done all along1 that the work of reformation in this matter1 no less than in others1 must begin with the young woman4 ,she finds herself twelve1 fourteen or sixteen years of age1 and entering upon a life involving duties and responsibilities1 to her before unthought of--and for which she finds herself most sadly unprepared4 ,she believes in the necessity of self-effort4 ,what conscience tells her ought to be done1 she decides to do4 ,she goes forward intelligently and what she begins1 she resolves1 if possible1 shall be finished4 ,let it not be objected1 that the introduction of the young to the sick room will expose them1 unnecessarily1 either to contagion or the breathing of bad air4 ,for as to contagion1 there is probably much less of it in the world than many suppose4 ,but whether there is less or more danger1 the best way to do1 as the world is now situated1 is1 to inure ourselves1 gradually1 to disease4 ,there are in ,new ,york and ,philadelphia1 many very aged persons1 who have been employed as professional attendants of the sick during all the visitations of those cities with yellow fever and cholera1 who have yet never taken either of those diseases4 ,it is our fear of taking disease1 very often1 which makes us take it4 ,the sum total of the danger to the community1 as a community1 of contracting even contagious disease1 will actually be much lessened1 rather than increased1 by all our young females being trained in the art and practice of nursing the sick4 ,and the same might be said of the danger from bad air2 because1 the better the nurse is--that is1 the more thoroughly and scientifically she understands her profession--the more pains will be taken in regard to ventilating1 both the rooms of the sick and of those who are healthy4 ,i know1 very well1 that to be a complete professional nurse1 requires a good deal of instruction in anatomy1 physiology1 hygiene and chemistry--to say nothing of botany1 and pharmacy1 and materia medica4 ,but are not females fully competent to all this8 ,are they not as much so1 to say the least1 as males8 ,besides1 the same information which is so indispensable to a nurse1 if it should not be much wanted for this purpose1 7for some females would not be needed as nurses1 to a very great extent17 would be of inestimable value in the early management of a family4 ,what can be more pitiable1 than to see a young widowed mother--say at twenty-five or thirty years of age--in poverty1 in a situation remote from neighbors1 with three or four children sick with some epidemic disease1 while she is utterly unacquainted with the best methods of taking care of them4 ,let it be supposed1 still further1 that she is without a physician1 and destitute of a nurse1 excepting herself4 ,what is she to do8 ,take care of them herself she cannot1 as she may honestly tell you2 having never taken care of a sick person1 even a near relation1 for so much as a single day or night in her whole life6 ,i was sick and ye visited me1 is represented1 moreover1 by the ,judge of all the earth1 as one of the grounds--not of salvation from sin--but of final reward in the world of spirits4 ,but can any one believe our ,saviour here means those empty1 hollow-hearted visits now so common among us8--just going1 ,i mean1 to a sick neighbor's door1 and asking how she does--or peradventure stepping in1 only to stare at the sufferer1 and with a half suppressed breath and a sigh1 to hope to comfort her by wishing she may ultimately recover8 ,no such thing4 ,the ,saviour1 by visiting the sick1 meant those kind and valuable offices which are worthy of the name2 especially1 when performed by the kind and gentle hand of a lovely1 intelligent1 benevolent and pious woman4 ,oh1 young woman6 hadst thou but a glimpse of one half the angelic offices in thy power1 how wouldst thou labor and pray for those qualities and that education1 which would enable thee to act up to the dignity of thy nature1 in the sight of ,god1 angels and men6 ,how wouldst thou labor to accomplish thy noble destiny4 ,,chapter ,,xxx4 ,,intellectual ,,improvement4 ,futility of the question whether woman is or is not inferior to man4 ,conversation as a means of improvement4 ,taciturnity and loquacity4 ,seven rules in regard to conversation4 ,reading another means of mental progress4 ,thoughts on a perverted taste4 ,choosing the evil and refusing the good4 ,advice of parents1 teachers1 ministers1 c4 ,advice of a choice friend4 ,young people reluctant to be advised4 ,set hours for reading4 ,reading too much4 ,reading but a species of talking4 ,composition4 ,common mistakes about composing4 ,attempt to set the matter right4 ,journalizing4 ,how a journal should be kept4 ,music4 ,vocal music something more than a mere accomplishment4 ,lectures and concerts4 ,studies4 ,keys of knowledge4 ,much has been said1 incidentally1 in the preceding chapters1 of the importance of extended intellectual improvement4 ,besides1 ,i have treated at large on this subject in another volume1 ,footnote3 ,see the ,young ,wife1 chap4 xxxiii4 p4 #bib4 to which1 as scarcely less adapted to the condition of young women than that of young wives1 ,i must refer the reader4 ,what ,i have to say in this work1 will be little more than an introduction to the views there presented4 ,the long agitated question1 whether woman is or is not equal to man in capacity for intellectual improvement1 need not1 surely1 be discussed in this place4 ,it is sufficient1 perhaps1 to know1 that every young woman is capable of a much higher degree of improvement than she has yet attained1 and to urge her forward to do all she can for herself1 and to do it with all her might4 ,i have already mentioned1 in preceding chapters1 several sources of improvement--especially observation and reflection4 ,but there are many sources of instruction accessible to those who are willing to be instructed2 both external and internal4 ,some of these will now be made the subjects of a few passing remarks4 #a4 ,conversation4--,it is seldom1 if ever1 that we meet with an individual of either sex1 whose conversational powers have been properly directed4 ,to develope1 cultivate and perfect these powers2 seems hardly to be regarded as a part of education4 ,we have left the tongue1 like the rest of the frame to which it is attached1 and of which it forms a component part1 to go very much at random4 ,in some1 to be sure1 it goes quite fast enough1 and continues on the wing quite long enough2 but it is too apt to go without rule1 measure or profit--that is1 comparatively so4 ,now1 to teach the tongue to go as it should--to teach it how to go1 and how long1 and when and where to make use of its power--is not1 by any means1 a small matter1 or a very easy task4 ,but ought not all this1 and much more1 to be done8 ,the old notion1 that taciturnity is wisdom1 is now very generally believed to be unfounded4 ,these ,north ,american ,indians who are most remarkable for this trait of character1 are not found to be a whit wiser than other tribes who are more loquacious4 ,and what is found by observation to be true of nations or tribes1 is equally true of individuals4 ,one of the most taciturn persons ,i ever knew1 and who passed with many for a very wise man1 because he was very silent and grave1 turned out1 on a more intimate acquaintance1 to be silent because he had nothing of importance to say4 ,nor is loquacity uniformly a mark of wisdom4 ,some1 indeed1 talk a great deal1 because they have a great deal to say3 you will find a few such in a thousand4 ,others talk incessantly1 either because they have nothing else to do1 or will do nothing else4 ,they do not1 indeed1 talk sense1 or produce ideas2 for sense and ideas they have not4 ,at least1 their sense is not common or sound sense3 and as for their ideas1 they are all superficial or borrowed4 ,immense is the good which may be done in society1 by conversation4 ,there is hardly an art or a science1 the elements of which1 to say the least1 may not be inculcated orally2 that is1 by conversation4 ,but it is not necessary that our conversation1 in order to be useful1 should always be very scientific4 ,there are a thousand topics of interest that have never yet been dignified with the name of science1 which might yet be discussed in our familiar circles to a very great extent1 and with both profit and pleasure4 ,when our conversation takes the form of story-telling1 it is of still more absorbing interest1 than when it is confined to mere ordinary colloquy4 ,here1 again1 a vast field of improvement opens upon our view4 ,few acquirements are more valuable to a young woman who expects ever to be at the head of a school or a family1 than the art of relating a story well2 and yet1 owing to the neglect of this matter in education1 no art1 perhaps1 is more uncommon4 ,a few leading principles1 duly attended to1 will1 it is believed1 enable those who have already had some teaching on this subject1 to turn their conversation to better advantage2 as well as aid1 in the work of reformation1 those who have not been duly instructed4 #a4 ,we should enunciate correctly1 and speak distinctly4 ,few persons do this2 and hence much of the pleasure which might otherwise be had1 is lost4 #b4 ,we should endeavor1 as far as in us lies1 to speak with grammatical correctness4 ,the custom of having two sorts of language--one for composition and the other for conversation--appears to me to have a very ill tendency4 ,i would have no one converse in a language he does not understand2 but ,i would have every one converse correctly4 #c4 ,we should endeavor to select such topics as are not only profitable to one party--either ourselves or those with whom we are conversing--but such also as are likely to be acceptable4 ,it is of little use to force a topic1 however great1 in our judgment1 may be its importance4 #d4 ,conversation should be direct--though not confined too long to one point or topic4 ,but while one subject is up1 you should know how to keep it up2 or if the thoughts of either party wander1 you should know how to return to it1 without too much apparent effort4 #e4 ,conversation1 like every thing else under the sun1 should have its time and place4 ,it is as wrong to converse when we ought to read1 or study1 or labor1 or play1 as it is to read or play when we ought to converse4 ,social life has a great many vacancies1 as it were1 which good1 and sprightly1 and well chosen conversation should fill up4 #f4 ,conversation should be sprightly4 ,if we converse not in this way1 we might almost as well dispense with conversation entirely4 ,we might nearly as well resort to the dead for society2--to the dead1 ,i mean1 who speak to us through the medium of their works4 ,of course ,i refer to conversation in general4 #g4 ,we should remember our responsibilities4 ,for every idle word that men speak1 they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment--said ,he who is to preside at the dread tribunal of which he spake3 and an apostle has told us1 that our conversation should be in heaven2 that is1 as ,i understand it1 should be heavenly in its nature4 ,,ii4 ,reading4--,there are1 as ,i suppose1 few young women of the present day1 who do not read more or less2 and to whom reading is not1 in a greater or less degree1 a source of intellectual improvement4 ,their reading is1 however1 governed chiefly by whim1 or fancy1 or accident--or at most1 by taste4 ,some read newspapers only2 some read only novels2 some read every thing1 and therefore nothing3 ,each of these methods--if methods they can be called--is wrong4 ,but shall not a young woman be governed by her taste8 ,is that to be turned wholly out of doors8 ,my reply is1 that though our taste is not to be turned out of doors1 wholly1 it is1 nevertheless1 a very imperfect guide1 and needs correction4 ,our intellect1 like our moral and physical likes and dislikes1 is1 as ,i have elsewhere said1 perverted by the fall4 ,i will not say that our moral1 intellectual and physical tastes are perverted in an equal degree2 for ,i do not think so4 ,still there is a perversion1 greater or less1 of the whole man--in all his functions1 faculties and affections4 ,as a general rule1 when left to our own course1 we choose that food1 for body1 mind and soul1 which1 though it may be pleasant at first1 is bitter afterwards4 ,there is a way which seemeth right unto a man1 but the end thereof is death4 ,still it may be said--,if our intellectual tastes are perverted1 how are they to be set right8 ,why not1 ,i ask1 in the same way that our moral taste is--by the word and truth of ,god8 ,to the law and to the testimony4 ,the application of the doctrines ,i am now advocating1 belongs1 most properly1 to parents and teachers2 religious teachers1 especially4 ,parents1 aided by ministers of the gospel1 and perhaps the family physician1 should decide for the young1 individually1 what means of intellectual improvement are best for them1 all things considered2 what books1 society1 studies1 c4 ,but ,i must confine my remarks to books and reading4 ,it is not difficult to decide what the tastes of a child shall be1 in regard to reading4 ,i will not1 indeed1 say that a parent may at once do every thing she desires2 but she may do a great deal4 ,the child's moral and intellectual tastes are about as fully at her command1 as its physical ones2 and who shall say that her power to the latter respect1 is second to any but that of the ,creator8 ,it is not for parents1 however1 that ,i am now writing2 but for those whose taste1 by the aid or neglect of parents1 is already formed4 ,if formed on the basis of the word and truth of ,god--if they are inclined to prefer the best books and reject the worst--then all is well but if not1 then the work of self-education is1 in this respect1 to set that right which has hitherto been wrong4 ,hardly any thing can be of greater importance in this matter1 than the assistance of a friend1 in whom we can confide1 in making our selection4 ,this is as necessary in regard to newspapers1 as to books4 ,she who reads newspapers1 indiscriminately1 will derive little benefit from them2 as her head will be filled with such a mixture of truth and falsehood1 and wisdom and folly1 as will be likely to do her more harm than good4 ,few will read to advantage1 who have not their set hours for reading4 ,it is true1 that unforeseen circumstances may1 at times1 break in upon our arrangement1 and impede our progress in knowledge2 but if we have no arrangement or system at all1 we shall find our progress impeded still more4 ,do not read too much4 ,the world is almost deluged with books4 ,not only see that your selection is as it should be1 in regard to the character of the books1 but beware of having too many of them4 ,a few1 well read and understood1 will be more valuable4 ,the importance of sometimes reading aloud1 has been mentioned4 ,it has other advantages1 however1 than merely the exercise of the lungs4 ,with a proper monitor at hand1 it may be made a useful aid in correcting our enunciation1 as well as in improving our conversational powers4 ,reading is but speaking the thoughts of others instead of our own2 and she is the best reader--and indeed most likely to be made wiser by reading--who speaks the most naturally4 ,our reading should be such1 generally1 that a friend in an adjoining room would find it difficult to tell whether we are reading or conversing4 ,,iii4 ,composition4--,next to conversation and reading1 as a means of intellectual improvement1 ,i place composition4 ,this is nothing1 either more or less--at least it should not be--than talking on paper4 ,as reading is merely talking over the thoughts of others--conversing in another's words--so composition is merely conversing with others through the medium of a piece of paper4 ,it is a most delightful consideration1 that it has pleased ,god to secure to us a written language4 ,are we grateful enough for the gift8 ,do we think enough of the privilege of conversing in this way with friends in every quarter of the globe8 ,one of the most valuable kinds of composition is letter-writing1 or epistolary correspondence4 ,this1 above all1 should be in the style of familiar though well directed conversation4 ,i wish1 with all my heart1 that people could get rid of the idea1 that there should be one style for conversation1 and another for writing4 ,here is the stumbling-stone on which youth of both sexes have been stumbling1 time immemorial2 and on which1 ,i fear1 many will be likely to stumble for some time to come4 ,could they get rid of this strange belief--could they perceive1 most clearly1 that composition is nothing more than putting our thoughts on paper1 instead of delivering them by word of mouth--and that conversation is nothing less than composition1 except that the words are written as it were in the air1 instead of being placed on a sheet of paper--how soon would the complaints about the tediousness of composition cease to be heard4 ,some young women1 of sixteen1 or eighteen1 or twenty years of age1 appear to regard letter-writing as childish4 ,they talk of having once been so foolish as to be addicted to the practice2 but as having now outgrown it4 ,such persons have no conception of the vast importance of this species of composition1 as an aid to correct thinking and correct writing4 ,the more we think1 the more and better we are able to think2 and the more we write1 the more thoughts we have which we wish to put down4 ,one valuable form of putting down thoughts--next to letter-writing--consists in keeping a journal4 ,i often wonder why our families and schools should encourage almost every thing else1 rather than letter-writing and journalizing4 ,our familiar letters to familiar friends1 might often consist of extracts from our daily journals4 ,but here1 again1 there has been great error4 ,journals have usually consisted of the driest details1 or exteriors of events4 ,the young should be encouraged to record their feelings in them2 their hopes and fears--their anticipations and their regrets--their joys and their sorrows--their repentances and their resolutions4 ,such journals1 with old and young1 could not fail to advance the intellect1 even if they should not improve the heart4 ,,iv4 ,music4--,attention to music-vocal music1 especially-should always form a part of female education4 ,the day is gone by1 as ,i trust1 when it was customary to say that none but the gifted could acquire this accomplishment4 ,it is now1 ,i believe1 pretty well understood1 that all persons may learn to sing1 as well as to read4 ,not1 of course1 equally well1 in either case2 but all can make a degree of progress4 ,i have called singing an accomplishment2 but it seems to me to be much more4 ,its bearing upon the health1 and even upon the intellect1 is very great4 ,even its moral tendency is by no means to be overlooked4 ,the value of music1 to soothe the feelings and cast out the evil spirits which haunt the path of human life1 has never yet received that measure of attention which it deserves4 ,even in those parts of continental ,europe1 where all the peasants sing1 and are accustomed to fill the air with their cheerful and harmonious voices as they go forth to prosecute their daily tasks1 no less than in their families--even there1 ,i say1 the full power and value of music are not understood4 ,they make it1 by far too much1 a sort of sensual gratification4 ,let it be redeemed1 for a better and a nobler purpose4 ,let it become a companion of science and literature1 as well as of industry and of virtue--and of religion1 still more than all4 ,v4 ,lectures and ,concerts4--,lectures are often useful1 even when they do no more than afford an agreeable means of passing an hour's time4 ,they are not indispensable to those young women who love study2 but are more useful as a means of exciting inquiry in those who have very little fondness for it4 ,besides1 there are lectures1 at times1 on subjects which cannot be found in books2 and in such cases they may be specially useful to all4 ,as for concerts1 and parties of all sorts1 attended as they usually are in the evening1 there are many objections to them--though1 as society is now regulated1 it may not be best to denounce them altogether4 ,home is the proper place for young women1 as well as for other honest people1 after dark2 at least this ought to be the general rule4 ,if lectures1 concerts1 c41 could be attended in the afternoon1 there would be fewer objections to them4 ,even then1 however1 there would probably be more or less of intellectual dissipation connected with their attendance4 ,it is to be regretted that time1 which is so valuable1 cannot be better employed1 than in mere running abroad1 because others are going4 ,,vi4 ,studies4--,if the young woman could have some judicious friend1 male or female1 to advise her what books to read1 and what studies to pursue--and if the non-essentials in dress1 c41 were discarded--,i cannot help thinking that life is long enough1 to give her an opportunity to become mistress of every thing which is usually thought to belong to a good ,english education4 ,i will venture to say1 that there is hardly a girl of twelve years of age1 whose circumstances are so unfavorable1 as to prevent her from thus acquiring the keys of knowledge by the time she is twenty-five years of age1 could she be directed in a proper manner4 ,i have spoken of acquiring the keys of knowledge1 as if this were the first object of a course of studies4 ,and such ,i regard it4 ,i know1 indeed1 that we reap some of the fruits of almost all our acquired knowledge1 immediately3 still1 the greater part remains for years to come4 ,no young woman should fail to be thoroughly versed in spelling1 reading1 writing1 composition1 grammar1 geography and arithmetic--and as much as possible1 in anatomy1 physiology1 hygiene1 chemistry1 botany1 natural history1 philosophy1 domestic and political economy1 civil and ecclesiastical history1 biography1 and the philosophy of the ,bible--to say nothing of geology1 and the higher branches of mathematics4 ,one word more in regard to your handwriting4 ,nothing is more common1 in these days1 than to write in a most illegible manner--a mere scribble4 ,now1 whatever young men may do in this respect1 ,i beseech every young woman to avoid this wretched1 slovenly habit4 ,hardly any thing appears more interesting to me1 in a young woman1 than a neat1 delicate1 and at the same time plain style of hand-writing4 ,do not pursue too many studies at once3 it is the most useless thing that can be done4 ,your knowledge1 should you get any1 would in that way be confused and indefinite1 instead of being clear1 and practical1 and useful to you4 ,i would never pursue more than one or two leading sciences at one time2 and in general1 ,i think that one is better than more4 ,if you pursue more than one1 let them be such as are related2 as geography and history4 ,let me say1 in closing this chapter1 that the great end of all intellectual culture1 is to teach the art of thinking1 and of thinking right4 ,to learn to think1 merely1 is to rise only one degree above the brute creation4 ,to learn to think well1 however1 is noble2 worthy of the dignity of human nature1 and of the ,author of that nature4 ,,chapter ,,xxxi4 ,,social ,,improvement4 ,improvement in a solitary state4 ,the social relations4 ,mother and daughter4 ,father and daughter4 ,brother and sister4 ,the elder sister4 ,brethren and sisters of the great human family4 ,the family constitution4 ,character of ,fidelia4 ,her resolutions of celibacy4 ,in what cases the latter is a duty4 ,a new and interesting relation4 ,selection with reference to it4 ,principles by which to be governed in making a selection4 ,evils of a hasty or ill-judged selection4 ,counsellors4 ,anecdote of an unwise one4 ,great caution to be observed4 ,direction to be sought at the throne of grace4 ,were there but a single individual in the wide world1 that individual1 with the laws that woman now has to guide her--laws internal and external1 natural and revealed--would be susceptible of endless and illimitable improvement4 ,she might make advances every day--and it would he her duty to do so--upward toward the throne of ,god1 and towards the perfection of him who occupies it4 ,but if much might be done by an individual in a solitary state1 how much more may be accomplished in the social state in which it has pleased our ,heavenly ,father to place us8 ,it is difficult to turn our eyes in any direction1 without being met by numerous and striking proofs of divine wisdom and benevolence2 but if there be any one thing in the whole moral world1 short of the redemption by ,jesus ,christ1 which overwhelms me with wonder1 and leads me to adore more than any thing else1 it is the divine wisdom and benevolence1 as manifested in the social state allotted to man4 ,how interesting--how exceedingly so--the relation between a mother and a daughter8 ,and how many blessings--deficient as many mothers are in knowledge and love--are showered upon the head of a young woman1 through maternal instrumentality6 ,in no case2 however1 is this relation more interesting1 than when the young woman is just beginning to act for herself4 ,then1 if ever1 should she avail herself of them4 ,she knows little of the world before her--either of the dangers on the one hand1 or the advantages on the other4 ,of these1 however1 the mother knows much4 ,let the daughter value her society and good counsel above all else human1 and lay hold of it as for her life4 ,how interesting1 too1 the relation between a wise and good father1 and a virtuous and affectionate daughter6 ,i am most struck1 however1 with this relation--and most reminded of the divine goodness in its institution--when ,i see a daughter ministering to the wants1 moral and physical1 of a very aged relative1 parent or grandparent2 one who is superannuated or sick4 ,there are1 in civilized society--and above all1 where the rays of the blessed gospel of the ,son of ,god have been let in--scenes on which angels themselves might delight to gaze1 and on which ,i have no doubt they do gaze with the most intense delight4 ,would that such scenes were still more frequent6 ,would that filial love was always what it should be1 instead of degenerating into cold formalities4 ,how have ,i been charmed2 says ,addison1 to see one of the most beauteous women the age has produced1 kneeling to put on an old man's slipper4 ,and so have ,i4 ,it is a sight which revives one's hopes of fallen nature4 ,no matter if the infirmities of the parent are the consequences of his own folly1 vice and crime1 the same soft hand is still employed1 day after day--and the same countenance is lighted up with a smile1 at being able thus to employ it4 ,but when to the tenderest love on the part of a young woman in this relation1 and to the kindest efforts to promote the temporal happiness and comfort of those whom she holds dear is joined a love for the mind and soul2 when every opportunity1 is laid hold of with eagerness1 to inform1 and improve1 and elevate--and this1 too1 though the subject of her labor is the most miserable wreck of humanity of which we can conceive2 when to works of love are added the warmest prayers1 at the bedside and elsewhere1 for ,almighty aid and favor2 the interest of the scene is indescribable4 ,it needs a more than mortal pen or pencil to portray it4 ,there are other relations of society--relations of the young woman1 ,i mean1 in particular--which are of great importance and interest4 ,among these1 are the relations of brother and sister4 ,perhaps ,i am inclined to make too much of the passage of ,scripture--already noticed in another chapter--where ,cain is said to have been set over ,abel1 in the very language which is used to signify the superiority of ,adam over ,eve4 ,and yet it must mean something4 ,there is a mutual dependence between brothers and sisters of every age1 which should result in continual improvement--intellectual1 moral and religious4 ,the duties involved in this relation1 however1 will be more especially binding on elder brothers and sisters2 and as it appears to me1 above all1 on elder sisters4 ,indeed1 in this respect1 it is impossible for me to be mistaken4 ,an elder sister is a sort of second mother2 and she often fulfils the place of a mother4 ,oh1 how important-how sacred--the trust committed to her keeping4 ,i have seen the care of a large family devolve1 by the death of the mother1 upon the elder daughter4 ,instead of her being disheartened at all1 ,i have known her to go forward in the pathway of duty--sensible1 at the same time1 of her dependence on her ,heavenly ,father--and not only instruct the other children1 but train them up1 in same good degree1 in the way they should go4 ,do you think ,i respected or loved this young woman the less1 because she was thus early a house--keeper1 a matron1 and a mother8 ,do you think ,i esteemed her the less1 because--exclusive of the common school--she had no seminary of instruction8 ,her education was a thousand times more valuable than that of the fashionable routine of the schools1 without the kind of discipline she had4 ,a world whose females were all educated in the family schools--and especially in the school of affliction1 and poverty1 and hardship--would be incomparably a better world than one whose young women should wear soft clothing1 and live in kings' courts--who should be educated by merely fashionable mothers1 amid ease and abundance1 and finished at the institute or the boarding school4 ,let me not be understood1 in all this1 as undervaluing kind mothers1 and boarding schools1 and comforts--and luxuries1 even--in themselves considered4 ,all ,i mean to discourage1 is1 a reliance on them1 to the exclusion of other things of more importance4 ,if we could have the latter in the first place--difficulties1 hard-ships1 hard labor1 and adversity--and upon these engraft the former1 ,i should like it exceedingly well4 ,what ,i dislike is1 not ornament1 in itself1 but ornament on that which is not worth ornamenting2 and above all1 nothing but ornament4 ,let every young woman whose eye meets these paragraphs1 rejoice1 if she has younger brothers or sisters--or even if she has brothers or sisters at all4 ,the younger may do something for the older1 as well as the older much for the younger4 ,and if she is without either1 there are probably other and remoter relatives for whom something may be done4 ,i have alluded1 elsewhere1 to grand-parents ,there are usually uncles1 aunts and cousin's--sometimes in great numbers4 ,there is much due to these4 ,i know1 very well1 that out over-refinement1 in an over-refined and diseased society1 says otherwise1 of late2 and that our time is expended more and more--especially that of females--on our own dear selves to the exclusion of remoter relatives4 ,but this should not be the case4 ,whether we have brethren or sisters1 properly so called1 together with other more distant relatives1 or not1 we have brethren and sisters4 ,the world is but a great family2 and all are brethren1 or ought to be so4 ,we should love all--even our enemies--as brethren2 but we should love1 with the deepest and most enduring affection1 those who love ,god most ardently4 ,my mother and brethren are they that hear the word of ,god and do it1 said the ,saviour2 and it is only in proportion as we possess his spirit1 that we shall be found to belong1 in the truest sense1 to his family4 ,the ties of which ,i have been speaking1 in the preceding paragraphs1 will have but poorly answered their purpose1 if they have not had the effect to raise us to this universal love referred to by the ,saviour4 ,for this they were chiefly instituted2 and to this1 in the best state of human society1 do they tend4 ,they do not lead us to love relations1 usually so called1 any less3 neither did they have this effect on ,jesus4 ,but they lead us to love the world at large1 more4 ,if young women would have the spirit of our ,lord and ,saviour--or if they would be instruments in his hands of hastening the glad day of his more complete reign on the earth and in the hearts of his intelligent family--they must strive to come up to this love of the human family4 ,it is to elevate them to this love1 ,i again say1 that the family institution1 with all the interesting relations which grow out of it1 was instituted4 ,when it has accomplished this work1 though it will not cease to be valuable1 in the abstract1 it will be less valuable relatively--because it will absorb a smaller proportion of our thoughts and affections1 and leave a larger proportion for the world in general1 and its ,creator4 ,i have quoted1 elsewhere1 the sentiments of ,addison1 in regard to the filial affection of daughters4 ,in the same paper1 this interesting writer embodies his views on this subject1 in the character of a young woman by the name of ,fidelia1 whose devotion to her father he describes as follows3 ,fidelia is now in the twenty-third year of her age2 but the application of many admirers1 and her quick sense of all that is truly elegant and noble in the enjoyment of a plentiful fortune1 are not able to draw her from the side of her good old father4 ,when she was asked by a friend of her deceased mother to admit the courtship of her son1 she answered that she had a great respect and gratitude to her for the overture in behalf of one so near to her2 but that during her father's life1 she would admit into her heart no value for any thing which should interfere with her endeavors to make his remains of life as happy and easy as could be expected in his circumstances4 ,the happy father has her declaration that she will not marry during his life1 and the pleasure of seeing that resolution not uneasy to her4 ,now1 though ,i am not quite satisfied with the selfishness of the father1 in this case--nor with the notion of ,fidelia1 that the particular friendship of another would interfere materially with her filial duties--yet ,i do not undertake to say that there are no cases in which a young woman has the right--the moral right--to make resolutions not unlike that made by ,fidelia4 ,it does not seem that her resolution to neglect the society of others for the sake of discharging an important filial duty1 was for a longer period1 than during the short life of a very decrepid old father4 ,i have introduced this subject in this place1 as the preface to a series of remarks on that particular relation which every young woman--except1 perhaps1 a few who are situated like ,fidelia--ought to be prepared to sustain1 and to sustain well4 ,indeed1 ,i consider this to be paramount1 at a suitable age1 to every other2 and that no duty can1 as a general rule1 be more obligatory4 ,he who instituted the law of marriage1 has not1 indeed1 condescended to say how early or in what circumstances this command must be yielded to1 or obeyed2 but1 as a general rule1 he requires it to be obeyed1 in some form or other1 and at some time or other4 ,or1 to express the views ,i entertain more correctly1 ,i should say1 that no young woman1 in ordinary circumstances1 has a right to resolve to neglect the subject forever--or to say she never will marry4 ,she is to consider the command of the ,creator as obligatory1 as a general fact1 on the whole human race4 ,she must remember1 moreover1 that if it is binding on the whole1 it must be so on the individuals composing that whole4 ,on these principles the education of every young woman should1 as ,i think1 be conducted2 and if1 by the neglect of parents1 masters or guardians1 it has not been so1 then it should be the aim of the young woman herself1 in her efforts at self-education1 to supply what has been by others omitted4 ,some of the items in this work of education have been alluded to--not only in the chapter on ,domestic ,concerns2 and in that on ,economy1 but elsewhere4 ,my purpose at the present time1 is merely to speak of the selection of her society with reference to her future state of life4 ,this is a subject of the highest importance to the happiness--present and future--of every young woman4 ,the marriage relation1 considered only as a means of completing the education of the parties1 is one of immense importance4 ,but it is of still greater importance1 in reference to other duties which it involves4 ,hence it requires much forethought and reflection4 ,let me prevail with you1 therefore1 when ,i urge upon you the following considerations3 #a4 ,never think for one moment of the society of any other than a good man4 ,whatever may be his extrinsic endowments--wit1 beauty1 talent1 rank1 property or prospects--all should be as nothing to you1 unless his character is what it should be4 ,of course1 ,i am not encouraging you to look for angelic perfection or purity on this earth2 but do not make too many allowances1 on the other hand1 for frailty4 ,a close examination1 as with the microscope1 will disclose irregularity and roughness on the most polished or smooth surface3 how then will that surface appear which is uneven without the microscope8 ,if it were possible for your associate for life to come apparently near celestial purity and excellence1 a closer acquaintance would1 most undoubtedly1 convince you that he was of terrestrial origin4 ,do the best you can1 therefore1 and you will do ill enough4 #b4 ,it is not sufficient1 however1 that the friend you seek should be good--that is1 negatively so3 he must do good4 ,multitudes1 in these days1 pass for good men because they do no harm2 or because1 at most1 they maintain a good standing1 and are benevolent in the eye of the world4 ,i know of more than one person in the world1 who gives his property by thousands1 annually--and whose praise is in all the churches--who never yet gave any thing worth naming1 in his life1 if the gospel rule on this subject is the correct one--that the widow who of her penury cast into the treasury two mites1 in reality cast in more than all they who of their abundance bestowed large and liberal sums4 ,let your associate1 therefore1 be a doer of good1 in deed and in truth4 ,this is said1 however1 with the supposition that you are so yourself2 for if ,i have not already convinced you that the great end for which you were sent into the world is to do good1 ,i shall not expect to do so by any remarks which could be thrown in here4 ,if you are still out of the way1 it is to be feared you will remain so3 nor shall ,i expect you--for reasons to be seen presently--to seek the society of those who do not possess the same turn of mind4 #c4 ,it is highly desirable that the individual with whom you associate for life1 should be something more than merely a good man4 ,this1 however1 does not explain my meaning4 ,for are there not many of the most excellent persons in the world1 whom you would not willingly take for a daily companion8 ,do you not desire likeness in opinion1 taste1 purpose1 c48 ,might not the two very best persons in the world be unhappy in each other's constant society1 if they were exceedingly unlike each other8 ,in the establishment1 then1 of this interesting relation1 seek by all means an individual who appears to entertain views of social life1 as much as possible1 like your own4 ,does he find his happiness in going abroad1 or in lounging8 ,is he impatient in the society of children8 ,is he a great friend of parade and excitement8 ,and are you the reverse of all this8 ,do you love most the quiet and retirement of home--and to be surrounded by infancy and childhood8 ,do you dread1 above almost all things in the world1 excitement and parade8 ,does your friend hate nothing so much as his own thoughts and reflections8 ,does he dread1 also1 like the cholera or the plague1 all efforts at mental or moral improvement8 ,does he hate improving conversation--and above all1 those books and associates which have the improvement and elevation of the body and spirit1 for their great and leading object8 ,and have you a different taste--entirely so8 ,do you live--do you eat1 drink1 sleep1 wake1 exercise1 dress1 labor1 play1 converse1 read1 and think1 and pray that you may become wiser1 and better1 and holier8 ,in short1 is the ultimate object of the one1 the gratification of self2 and does all1 with him1 terminate in the external2 while the other seeks primarily1 in all things1 the improvement1 the holiness and the happiness of herself and others8 ,how can such persons be suitable companions for each other8 ,can two walk together1 says the ,scripture1 unless they are agreed--that is1 agreed as to the main points and purposes of life8 ,i know of no being whom ,i so much pity1 as a young woman who1 believing1 perhaps1 that a reformed rake1 once handsome1 or it may be1 a wit1 makes the best companion1 becomes chained for life to a stupid1 shiftless creature--one whose energies of body and soul are exhausted1 and seem unsusceptible of being renovated or restored--one1 too1 with whom1 in that more intimate acquaintance which time and circumstances afford her1 proves to be totally unworthy of her hand or her heart6 ,i have said that ,i know of no being so pitiable1 as a young woman thus situated4 ,i know of none1 ,i mean to say1 except a young man in similar circumstances4 ,did the effects of these unhappy companionships terminate on themselves1 the misfortune would not be so great4 ,woman1 at any rate1 with her fortitude1 might endure it4 ,but it is not usually so2 and here is the great evil4 ,misery is inflicted on a new generation2 one that has done nothing to deserve it4 ,let me entreat my readers1 therefore1 while ,i urge them to regard the companionship of which ,i am now speaking as a matter of duty1 to be exceedingly careful in their selection of a companion4 ,choose2 but do not be in haste4 ,on the wisdom of your choice1 much more depends than you can now possibly imagine3--it is for your life4 ,would you could realize this truth3 for though so old and so often repeated that it may appear rather stale1 it is not the less true for its age4 ,have nothing to do1 above all1 with those who despise your sex4 ,there is a large number of young men--much larger1 indeed1 than you may be aware1 who have caught the spirit1 not to say sentiments1 of ,byron1 in regard to woman4 ,they have caught them1 ,i say2 but this1 perhaps1 is not so4 ,i will only say they have them4 ,i know not how1 as a general fact1 they came by them4 ,i can only say that they are often very early imbibed2 and that they grow with their growth1 and strengthen with their strength4 ,would to ,heaven this utter skepticism in regard to female worth and purity could be removed2 or rather prevented4 ,it is the bane of social life--as ,i could show1 were ,i disposed to do so1 by a thousand illustrations4 ,as a general rule--to which1 perhaps1 there are some exceptions--it is according to human nature to suspect others to be wanting in those virtues which we are conscious we are wanting in ourselves4 ,find a person wanting in sterling integrity1 and he is the very person to be found complaining of the want of it in others4 ,i will not say that his complaints are not sometimes--indeed1 quite too often--just2 ,i only say1 that whether just or not1 neither his suspicions nor complaints prove them to be so4 ,beware1 then--,i beseech you1 beware--of the young man who is ever prating about the innate worthlessness1 not to say vice1 of your sex4 ,i do not say1 reject him forever1 simply on suspicion2 for that would be to go to the other extreme4 ,but though ,i have admitted that there may possibly be exceptions in regard to the general rule ,i have laid down1 ,i also insist that they are rare4 ,therefore1 ,i again say1 be wary in forming your friendships--and especially so1 in suffering them to become more and more intimate4 ,precisely in these circumstances is it1 that you may derive immense benefit from a discreet female friend4 ,but in this1 too1 you must be deliberate1 and use great judgment2 for there are many whose views on this subject are such as entirely to disqualify them for the office of an adviser4 ,i remember hearing a lady of great gravity--though of much good sense in all other respects--say1 that she thought the friends of a young woman were much more competent to select a companion for her1 than she was to make the selection for herself4 ,i was so struck with the remark1 that not knowing but ,i misapprehended her meaning1 ,i ventured to inquire whether she really meant to say1 that other people could judge better in regard to selecting a companion for life1 than the parties most concerned in the choice4 ,to which she answered1 ,yes1 without hesitation2 and immediately went upon a defence of her opinion4 ,i was as little pleased1 however1 with the defence1 as with the assertion2 for the whole thing carried absurdity on the very face of it4 ,it cannot1 surely1 be so2 it is contrary to the very nature of things4 ,i cannot help counselling you to be as wary of such an adviser1 as of the friend to whom she would direct your attention4 ,the choice--the final choice--be it never forgotten1 rests on you3 because on you rests the responsibilities4 ,while1 therefore1 you seek1 with great earnestness1 for advice1 seek it as advice only4 ,neither seek1 nor admit1 in any case1 a dictator4 ,be it also ever remembered1 that it is your duty to sift1 with great care1 the opinions and views of one in whom you are daily becoming more and more deeply interested4 ,if it be even true1 that woman is not distinguished for perseverance1 let this fact only stimulate you to use what powers of perseverance you possess4 ,though you are not to be held responsible for the exercise of talents which you have not1 you are to account for what talents you have2 and fearful may be the reward of the individual who is found delinquent in the matter before us2 fearful in this life1 even were it possible to escape punishment in the life to come4 ,let a comparison1 then1 be faithfully made of your views on all important subjects3--as female superiority or inferiority2 selfishness and benevolence2 dress and equipage2 education of ourselves and others2 discipline--its means1 instruments and ends2 household management2 amassing property2 the chief end of human existence2 particular duties1 c4 ,while ,i would encourage every young woman to look forward to married life as a matter of duty1 ,i am very far from desiring to encourage that indiscriminate conversation1 which1 among young women1 is rather common4 ,let it be discussed by the young1 chiefly in the company of their parents4 ,above all1 let not females be found talking with great interest on this subject in the presence of the other sex4 ,such conversation1 in such circumstances1 is evil1 and only evil1 in its tendency4 ,parents may prevent this mistake in young women1 if they will4 ,the mother1 at least1 can prevent it4 ,where mothers manage the matter as it ought to be managed1 you will not find daughters1 on going into company1 so deeply interested in these matters that nothing seems so to loosen the tongue1 light up the countenance1 and brighten the eye1 as conversation about the latest engagements and marriages1 and nothing so much or so quickly interest them in a newspaper1 even a religious one1 and that1 too1 on the ,sabbath1 as the list of marriages4 ,alas6 do mothers or daughters know what are the practical common sense inferences from this conduct1 where it greatly abounds4 ,remember1 moreover1 in this matter1 as well as in all other matters which concern your own happiness and the happiness of others--in this matter1 ,i might say1 which concerns your happiness more than almost all others--to seek the direction of that ,being who has said1 ,if any lack wisdom1 let him ask of ,god4 ,you cannot1 surely1 obey this first injunction on the human race1 without first and always1 at every step of your course1 seeking for his approbation4 ,you cannot1 in one word1 be concerned in a duty which may involve the destinies--present and eternal--of millions and millions of human beings1 without looking upward toward the throne of ,god1 and soliciting1 with all the humility1 as well as confidence1 of the most devoted child of an earthly parent1 that wisdom and guidance which are to be found in all fulness in the ,father of lights1 and which1 when properly apprehended1 can never mislead you4 ,,chapter ,,xxxii4 ,,moral ,,progress4 ,importance of progress4 ,physical improvement a means rather than an end4 ,the same true of intellectual improvement4 ,the general homage which is paid to inoffensiveness4 ,picture of a modern ,christian family4 ,measuring ourselves by others4 ,our ,saviour the only true standard of comparison4 ,importance of self-denial and self-sacrifice4 ,blessedness of communicating4 ,young women urged to emancipate themselves from the bondage of fashion1 and custom1 and selfishness4 ,after all ,i have said of the importance of physical1 intellectual and social improvement and progress1 it is moral progress for which we were1 pre-eminently1 created4 ,the great end of ,christianity itself--to use the words of a learned and eloquent divine--is1 to make men better than they were before3 but whether or not this expresses the entire truth1 one thing is certain--that wherever ,christianity fails to make man better1 it fails of accomplishing its whole intention respecting him4 ,perhaps the apostle expressed the idea ,i would inculcate1 in the fewest words and in the clearest manner1 when he required his converts to grow in grace1 and in the knowledge of our ,lord and ,saviour ,jesus ,christ4 ,mere physical improvement--or even physical perfection1 were it attainable--would hardly be worth the pains1 if it were any thing more than a means to an end4 ,we might study the subject of health1 and practice its excellent rules with the utmost zeal and faithful conscientiousness2 and yet it would hardly prove a blessing to us1 if it only gave us the more efficiency in the service of the world1 the flesh and the devil4 ,and the same1 or nearly the same1 may be said of intellectual improvement and progress4 ,though the general tendency of both--when conscience is properly trained and the heart set right--is beneficial1 yet it is not necessarily so1 without a right heart and correct conscience4 ,satan is not wanting--so to speak--in intelligence or physical energy4 ,physical and intellectual development and progress1 therefore1 are little more than means to secure an end4 ,if they prove to be what it was the original intention of the ,creator they should be1 they are eminently conducive to our highest interests1 both as respects this world and the world which is to come4 ,if otherwise1 they do but accelerate1 and in the end aggravate1 our doom4 ,they tend but to make our condemnation the more sure1 and the more dreadful4 ,i have urged1 elsewhere1 the importance of conscientiousness in every thing we do3 let me especially recommend you to make continual progress in excellence or holiness1 a matter of conscience4 ,do not be continually measuring yourself--above all1 your spiritual self--by your neighbors4 ,if you are the true disciple of ,christ1 and if you are what a ,christian should be in this land of ,christianity1 you will not indulge yourself in comparisons with any but the ,saviour himself4 ,you will be daily and hourly striving to possess more and more of his spirit2 in the belief that without the spirit of ,christ1 you neither are nor can be his4 ,it is painful to think of the great number of individuals who go through life--often through a long life--and yet accomplish so little for themselves and others4 ,that they are free from outward immorality or blame--as much so at least as their neighbors--seems to satisfy them4 ,some of the best families ,i know1 are trained in this way4 ,they are excellent people2 they are disciples of ,christ1 if there are any such in the world3 we cannot say aught against them1 if we would4 ,they seem to discharge all the external duties of our holy religion with a most scrupulous exactness2 and they seem--the whole family--to bear the image of ,christ4 ,whatever is true or lovely1 is theirs2 or appears to be so4 ,and yet1 if you examine closely the matter1 you will find that much of all this is the result of circumstances4 ,they possess1 by inheritance1 a happy temper--or they are in circumstances which make virtue easy to them4 ,but the spirit and genius of ,christianity require a great deal more than mere inoffensiveness--though that is1 of itself1 certainly1 a great deal4 ,they require continual progress from glory to glory4 ,but this progress can only be made amid self-denial and cross-taking4 ,whoso taketh not up his cross1 daily and hourly1 is not a true disciple of the great ,teacher4 ,it is even through much tribulation only1 that we can enter into the kingdom of our ,lord and ,saviour4 ,now1 to what self-denials1 what tribulations1 what taking up of the cross1 do these easy1 lovely families of which ,i am speaking1 ever subject themselves8 ,trained happily1 they are generally healthy--and therefore they have few trials from sickness4 ,they live in the midst of abundance1 and always have done so--abundance of food1 clothing1 c41 and of what they regard as of the best quality4 ,they have more than heart can wish3 their eyes1 as it were1 stand out with fatness4 ,they know nothing of want3 they know nothing even of inconvenience--except for some hapless moment1 when a neighbor gets a little ahead of them in the fashion of their dress1 their equipage1 or their tables4 ,then a feeling of envy--peradventure a half expressed feeling of detraction--appears to mar1 for a short time1 their peace4 ,i have said that these inoffensive people--these do-no-harm ,christians--know nothing of want4 ,when and where have they cut themselves short of any thing to which they were lawfully entitled1 for the sake of doing good to others8 ,they have1 indeed1 performed works of charity and mercy1 as much as other people of their own property and standing in society4 ,but they have given1 always1 of their abundance4 ,they have never so given as to impoverish the giver--so as to make themselves feel the least privation4 ,they have visited the sick3 but when has the time they have given1 seriously incommoded them8 ,have they not had time enough left for their own purposes8 ,have they not1 in this respect1 given of their abundance8 ,perhaps they have clothed the poor1 to some extent2 but have they denied themselves to do it8 ,have not their closets1 and houses1 and the neighboring livery stable1 been well furnished and supplied1 notwithstanding8 ,have they not given1 in this respect1 wholly of their abundance--and not1 like the good woman mentioned in the gospel1 of their penury8 ,it is exceedingly painful1 ,i say again1 to find professedly good people among us living1 as ,watts calls it1 at such a poor1 dying rate2 the professed disciples of a ,master who became poor for their sakes1 by giving up1 not only the luxuries of life1 but even many of its necessaries--and yet not giving up or denying themselves a single thing all their lives long4 ,can such people expect to make advances in holiness--to grow in grace and in the knowledge of ,christ--and yet not act like him1 or follow him8 ,for be it always remembered--the benefits of doing good are to those who do it1 more than to those to whom it is done4 ,this is the ordination and arrangement of ,providence4 ,it is more blessed to give than to receive4 ,how sad a mistake1 then1 is made by those who seem--from their conduct--to think there is little happiness in giving2 and that their charities abridge1 by so much1 their happiness1 instead of adding to it4 ,young woman1 should it be your lot to belong to one of these happy and excellent families--for ,i do not deny that they are among our best people1 after all1 though they are very far from having1 as yet1 come up to the self-denying1 self-sacrificing spirit of the ,lord that bought them1 and become willing to be poor1 and to suffer not a little want of time1 money1 c4 for even their own apparent necessities1 temporal or spiritual--,i say1 if in the providence of ,god1 you have been accustomed to see almost the whole time and labor of a family1 with the avails of a handsome1 or at least respectable property1 used up year after year by that family1 in eating1 and drinking1 and sleeping1 and dressing comfortably--in mere passive enjoyment1 in one word--while the blessedness of active enjoyment1 in the doing of good to others1 has been hardly known--be it yours to break the chain that binds this circle of selfishness1 and go forth to the work of impoverishing yourself1 as did your ,lord and ,master4 ,think not to make any considerable moral progress1 otherwise6 ,the soul must have food1 as well as the body4 ,this continual indulgence of the body1 while the soul is unfed1 or only fed just enough to keep it from starving1 will never do for you4 ,if you yield to the influence of this fashionable kind of excellence1 and strive not to rise higher1 ,i will not say that you will live to little purpose2 but ,i will say1 that you will have but very little of real1 valuable1 immortal life1 till you pass beyond the bounds of time and space4 ,whereas1 you ought to begin your heaven here4 ,for this is the will of ,god1 even your sanctification2 and it was the prayer of ,paul concerning some to whom he wrote--,the ,god of peace sanctify you wholly4 ,will you not1 then1 ,o young woman6 in view of these considerations1 seek for deliverance from the spell that binds thousands and millions of otherwise good people to a narrow1 selfish circle1 in which they continually wander--coming round and round again1 every night1 to the same spot1 or nearly the same1 but making no considerable progress8 ,will you not study1 and labor1 and pray1 for more and more of the spirit of ,him1 who not only stripped himself of every glory to which he1 had been accustomed1 but1 instead of retaining that which was his divine right1 deprived himself of every thing which is calculated to make life comfortable in the common sense of the term1 and only sought his happiness in perfecting holiness in the fear of ,god1 by living and dying for his brethren--the whole human family8 ,will you not henceforth study to be more and more conformed to the ,divine image--and to act less and less in conformity with a world whose predominating motive to action1 is selfishness8