,,amiel',s ,,journal  ,by ,henri-,frdric
 ,amiel  ,the ,journal ,intime of       
,henri-,frdric ,amiel  ,translated1     
,with an ,introduction and ,notes by    
,mrs4 ,humphrey ,ward     ,,preface ,,to
 ,,the ,,second ,,edition4   ,in this   
second edition of the ,english          
translation of ,amiel's 8,journal       
,intime10 ,i have inserted a good many  
new passages1 taken from the last       
,french edition 7,cinquime dition1 revue
 et augmente47 ,but ,i have not         
translated all the fresh material to be 
found in that edition nor have ,i       
omitted certain sections of the ,journal
 which in these two recent volumes have 
been omitted by their ,french editors4  
,it would be of no interest to give my  
reasons for these variations at length4 
,they depend upon certain differences   
between the ,english and the ,french    
public1 which are more readily felt than
 explained4 ,some of the passages which 
,i have left untranslated seemed to me  
to overweight the introspective side of 

the ,journal1 already so full--to       
overweight it1 at any rate1 for ,english
 readers4 ,others which ,i have         
retained1 though they often relate to   
local names and books1 more or less     
unfamiliar to the general public1 yet   
seemed to me valuable as supplying some 
of that surrounding detail1 that        
setting1 which helps one to understand a
 life4 ,besides1 we ,english are in many
 ways more akin to ,protestant and      
,puritan ,geneva than the ,french       
readers to whom the original ,journal   
primarily addresses itself1 and some of 
the entries ,i have kept have probably1 
by the nature of things1 more savor for 
us than for them4  ,m4 ,a4 ,w4          
,,preface4   ,this translation of       
,amiel's 8,journal ,intime0 is primarily
 addressed to those whose knowledge of  
,french1 while it may be sufficient to  
carry them with more or less complete   
understanding through a novel or a      
newspaper1 is yet not enough to allow   
them to understand and appreciate a book

 containing subtle and complicated forms
 of expression4 ,i believe there are    
many such to be found among the reading 
public1 and among those who would       
naturally take a strong interest in such
 a life and mind as ,amiel's1 were it   
not for the barrier of language4 ,it is1
 at any rate1 in the hope that a certain
 number of additional readers may be    
thereby attracted to the 8,journal      
,intime0 that this translation of it has
 been undertaken4  ,the difficulties of 
the translation have been sometimes     
considerable1 owing1 first of all1 to   
those elliptical modes of speech which a
 man naturally employs when he is       
writing for himself and not for the     
public1 but which a translator at all   
events is bound in some degree to       
expand4 ,every here and there ,amiel    
expresses himself in a kind of          
shorthand1 perfectly intelligible to a  
,frenchman1 but for which an ,english   
equivalent1 at once terse and clear1 is 
hard to find4 ,another difficulty has   

been his constant use of a technical    
philosophical language1 which1 according
 to his ,french critics1 is not         
,french--even philosophical ,french--but
 ,german4 ,very often it has been       
impossible to give any other than a     
literal rendering of such passages1 if  
the thought of the original was to be   
preserved2 but in those cases where a   
choice was open to me1 ,i have preferred
 the more literary to the more technical
 expression2 and ,i have been encouraged
 to do so by the fact that ,amiel1 when 
he came to prepare for publication a    
certain number of 8,penses10  extracted 
from the ,journal1 and printed at the   
end of a volume of poems published in   
#ahec1 frequently softened his phrases1 
so that sentences which survive in the  
,journal in a more technical form are to
 be found in a more literary form in the
 8,grains de ,mil40  ,in two or three   
cases--not more1 ,i think--,i have      
allowed myself to transpose a sentence  
bodily1 and in a few instances ,i have  

added some explanatory words to the     
text1 which wherever the addition was of
 any importance1 are indicated by square
 brackets4  ,my warmest thanks are due  
to my friend and critic1 ,m4 ,edmond    
,scherer1 from whose valuable and       
interesting study1 prefixed to the      
,french ,journal1 as well as from       
certain materials in his possession     
which he has very kindly allowed me to  
make use of1 ,i have drawn by far the   
greater part of the biographical        
material embodied in the ,introduction4 
,m4 ,scherer has also given me help and 
advice through the whole process of     
translation--advice which his scholarly 
knowledge of ,english has made          
especially worth having4  ,in the       
translation of the more technical       
philosophical passages ,i have been     
greatly helped by another friend1 ,mr4  
,bernard ,bosanquet1 ,fellow of         
,university ,college1 ,oxford1 the      
translator of ,lotze1 of whose care and 
pains in the matter ,i cherish a        

grateful remembrance4  ,but with all the
 help that has been so freely given me1 
not only by these friends but by others1
 ,i confide the little book to the      
public with many a misgiving6 ,may it at
 least win a few more friends and       
readers here and there for one who lived
 alone1 and died sadly persuaded that   
his life had been a barren mistake2     
whereas1 all the while--such is the     
irony of things--he had been in reality 
working out the mission assigned him in 
the spiritual economy1 and faithfully   
obeying the secret mandate which had    
impressed itself upon his youthful      
consciousness3 8,let the living live2   
and you1 gather together your thoughts1 
leave behind you a legacy of feeling and
 ideas2 you will be most useful so40    
,,mary ,a4 ,,ward4     ,,introduction   
,it was in the last days of ,december1  
#ahhb1 that the first volume of ,henri  
,frdric ,amiel's 8,journal ,intime0 was 
published at ,geneva4 ,the book1 of     
which the general literary world knew   

nothing prior to its appearance1        
contained a long and remarkable         
,introduction from the pen of ,m4       
,edmond ,scherer1 the well-known ,french
 critic1 who had been for many years one
 of ,amiel's most valued friends1 and it
 was prefaced also by a little          
,avertissement1 in which the            
8,editors0--that is to say1 the         
,genevese friends to whom the care and  
publication of the ,journal had been in 
the first instance entrusted--described 
in a few reserved and sober words the   
genesis and objects of the publication4 
,some thousands of sheets of ,journal1  
covering a period of more than thirty   
years1 had come into the hands of       
,amiel's literary heirs4 8,they were    
written10 said the ,avertissement1 8with
 several ends in view4 ,amiel recorded  
in them his various occupations1 and the
 incidents of each day4 ,he preserved in
 them his psychological observations1   
and the impressions produced on him by  
books4 ,but his ,journal was1 above all1

 the confidant of his most private and  
intimate thoughts2 a means whereby the  
thinker became conscious of his own     
inner life2 a safe shelter wherein his  
questionings of fate and the future1 the
 voice of grief1 of self-examination and
 confession1 the soul's cry for inward  
peace1 might make themselves freely     
heard4  8444 ,in the directions         
concerning his papers which he left     
behind him1 ,amiel expressed the wish   
that his literary executors should      
publish those parts of the ,journal     
which might seem to them to possess     
either interest as thought or value as  
experience4 ,the publication of this    
volume is the fulfillment of this       
desire4 ,the reader will find in it1 not
 a volume of ,memoirs1 but the          
confidences of a solitary thinker1 the  
meditations of a philosopher for whom   
the things of the soul were the         
sovereign realities of existence40      
,thus modestly announced1 the little    
volume made its quiet dbut4 ,it         

contained nothing1 or almost nothing1 of
 ordinary biographical material4 ,m4    
,scherer's ,introduction supplied such  
facts as were absolutely necessary to   
the understanding of ,amiel's           
intellectual history1 but nothing more4 
,everything of a local or private       
character that could be excluded was    
excluded4 ,the object of the editors in 
their choice of passages for publication
 was declared to be simply 8the         
reproduction of the moral and           
intellectual physiognomy of their       
friend10 while ,m4 ,scherer expressly   
disclaimed any biographical intentions1 
and limited his ,introduction as far as 
possible to 8a study of the character   
and thought of ,amiel40 ,the contents of
 the volume1 then1 were purely literary 
and philosophical2 its prevailing tone  
was a tone of introspection1 and the    
public which can admit the claims and   
overlook the inherent defects of        
introspective literature has always been
 a small one4 ,the writer of the        

,journal had been during his lifetime   
wholly unknown to the general ,european 
public4 ,in ,geneva itself he had been  
commonly regarded as a man who had      
signally disappointed the hopes and     
expectations of his friends1 whose      
reserve and indecision of character had 
in many respects spoiled his life1 and  
alienated the society around him2 while 
his professional lectures were generally
 pronounced dry and unattractive1 and   
the few volumes of poems which          
represented almost his only             
contributions to literature had nowhere 
met with any real cordiality of         
reception4 ,those concerned1 therefore1 
in the publication of the first volume  
of the ,journal can hardly have had much
 expectation of a wide success4 ,geneva 
is not a favorable starting-point for a 
,french book1 and it may well have      
seemed that not even the support of ,m4 
,scherer's name would be likely to carry
 the volume beyond a small local circle4
  ,but 8wisdom is justified of her      

children60 ,it is now nearly three years
 since the first volume of the 8,journal
 ,intime0 appeared2 the impression made 
by it was deepened and extended by the  
publication of the second volume in     
#ahhd2 and it is now not too much to say
 that this remarkable record of a life  
has made its way to what promises to be 
a permanent place in literature4 ,among 
those who think and read it is beginning
 to be generally recognized that another
 book has been added to the books which 
live--not to those1 perhaps1 which live 
in the public view1 much discussed1 much
 praised1 the objects of feeling and of 
struggle1 but to those in which a germ  
of permanent life has been deposited    
silently1 almost secretly1 which compel 
no homage and excite no rivalry1 and    
which owe the place that the world      
half-unconsciously yields to them to    
nothing but that indestructible sympathy
 of man with man1 that eternal answering
 of feeling to feeling1 which is one of 
the great principles1 perhaps the       

greatest principle1 at the root of      
literature4 ,m4 ,scherer naturally was  
the first among the recognized guides of
 opinion to attempt the placing of his  
friend's ,journal4 8,the man who1 during
 his lifetime1 was incapable of giving  
us any deliberate or conscious work     
worthy of his powers1 has now left us1  
after his death1 a book which will not  
die4 ,for the secret of ,amiel's malady 
is sublime1 and the expression of it    
wonderful40 ,so ran one of the last     
paragraphs of the ,introduction1 and one
 may see in the sentences another       
instance of that courage1 that reasoned 
rashness1 which distinguishes the good  
from the mediocre critic4 ,for it is as 
true now as it was in the days when ,la 
,bruyre rated the critics of his time   
for their incapacity to praise1 and     
praise at once1 that 8the surest test of
 a man's critical power is his judgment 
of contemporaries40 ,m4 ,renan1 ,i      
think1 with that exquisite literary     
sense of his1 was the next among the    

authorities to mention ,amiel's name    
with the emphasis it deserved4 ,he      
quoted a passage from the ,journal in   
his ,preface to the 8,souvenirs         
d',enfance et de ,jeunesse10  describing
 it as the saying 8d'un penseur         
distingu1 ,m4 ,amiel de ,genve40 ,since 
then ,m4 ,renan has devoted two curious 
articles to the completed ,journal in   
the ,journal des ,desbats4 ,the first   
object of these reviews1 no doubt1 was  
not so much the critical appreciation of
 ,amiel as the development of certain   
paradoxes which have been haunting      
various corners of ,m4 ,renan's mind for
 several years past1 and to which it is 
to be hoped he has now given expression 
with sufficient emphasis and brusquerie 
to satisfy even his passion for         
intellectual adventure4 ,still1 the rank
 of the book was fully recognized1 and  
the first article especially contained  
some remarkable criticisms1 to which we 
shall find occasion to recur4 8,in these
 two volumes of penses10 said ,m4       

,renan1 8without any sacrifice of truth 
to artistic effect1 we have both the    
perfect mirror of a modern mind of the  
best type1 matured by the best modern   
culture1 and also a striking picture of 
the sufferings which beset the sterility
 of genius4 ,these two volumes may      
certainly be reckoned among the most    
interesting philosophical writings which
 have appeared of late years40  ,m4     
,caro's article on the first volume of  
the ,journal1 in the ,revue des ,deux   
,mondes for ,february1 #ahhc1 may       
perhaps count as the first introduction 
of the book to the general cultivated   
public4 ,he gave a careful analysis of  
the first half of the ,journal--resumed 
eighteen months later in the same       
periodical on the appearance of the     
second volume--and1 while protesting    
against what he conceived to be the     
general tendency and effect of ,amiel's 
mental story1 he showed himself fully   
conscious of the rare and delicate      
qualities of the new writer4 8,la rverie

 a russi  notre auteur10 he says1 a     
little reluctantly--for ,m4 ,caro has   
his doubts as to the legitimacy of      
rverie2 8,il en aufait une oeuvure qui  
restera40 ,the same final judgment1     
accompanied by a very different series  
of comments1 was pronounced on the      
,journal a year later by ,m4 ,paul      
,bourget1 a young and rising writer1    
whose article is perhaps chiefly        
interesting as showing the kind of      
effect produced by ,amiel's thought on  
minds of a type essentially alien from  
his own4 ,there is a leaven of something
 positive and austere1 of something     
which1 for want of a better name1 one   
calls ,puritanism1 in ,amiel1 which     
escapes the author of 8,une ,cruelle    
,enigme40  ,but whether he has          
understood ,amiel or no1 ,m4 ,bourget is
 fully alive to the mark which the      
,journal is likely to make among modern 
records of mental history4 ,he1 too1    
insists that the book is already famous 
and will remain so2 in the first place1 

because of its inexorable realism and   
sincerity2 in the second1 because it is 
the most perfect example available of a 
certain variety of the modern mind4     
,among ourselves1 although the ,journal 
has attracted the attention of all who  
keep a vigilant eye on the progress of  
foreign literature1 and although one or 
two appreciative articles have appeared 
on it in the magazines1 the book has    
still to become generally known4 ,one   
remarkable ,english testimony to it1    
however1 must be quoted4 ,six months    
after the publication of the first      
volume1 the late ,mark ,pattison1 who   
since then has himself bequeathed to    
literature a strange and memorable      
fragment of autobiography1 addressed a  
letter to ,m4 ,scherer as the editor of 
the 8,journal ,intime10 which ,m4       
,scherer has since published1 nearly a  
year after the death of the writer4 ,the
 words have a strong and melancholy     
interest for all who knew ,mark         
,pattison2 and they certainly deserve a 

place in any attempt to estimate the    
impression already made on contemporary 
thought by the 8,journal ,intime40  8,i 
wish to convey to you1 sir10 writes the 
rector of ,lincoln1 8the thanks of one  
at least of the public for giving the   
light to this precious record of a      
unique experience4 ,i say unique1 but ,i
 can vouch that there is in existence at
 least one other soul which has lived   
through the same struggles1 mental and  
moral1 as ,amiel4 ,in your pathetic     
description of the volont qui voudrait  
vouloir1 mais impuissante  se fournir   
elle-mme des motifs--of the repugnance  
for all action--the soul petrified by   
the sentiment of the infinite1 in all   
this ,i recognize myself4 ,celui qui a  
dchiffr le secret de la vie finie1 qui  
en a lu le mot1 est sorti du monde des  
vivants1 il est mort de fait4 ,i can    
feel forcibly the truth of this1 as it  
applies to myself6  8,it is not1        
however1 with the view of thrusting my  
egotism upon you that ,i have ventured  

upon addressing you4 ,as ,i cannot      
suppose that so peculiar a psychological
 revelation will enjoy a wide           
popularity1 ,i think it a duty to the   
editor to assure him that there are     
persons in the world whose souls        
respond1 in the depths of their inmost  
nature1 to the cry of anguish which     
makes itself heard in the pages of these
 remarkable confessions40  ,so much for 
the place which the ,journal--the fruit 
of so many years of painful thought and 
disappointed effort2 seems to be at last
 securing for its author among those    
contemporaries who in his lifetime knew 
nothing of him4 ,it is a natural        
consequence of the success of the book  
that the more it penetrates1 the greater
 desire there is to know something more 
than its original editors and ,m4       
,scherer have yet told us about the     
personal history of the man who wrote   
it--about his education1 his habits1 and
 his friends4 ,perhaps some day this    
wish may find its satisfaction4 ,it is  

an innocent one1 and the public may even
 be said to have a kind of right to know
 as much as can be told it of the       
personalities which move and stir it4   
,at present the biographical material   
available is extremely scanty1 and if it
 were not for the kindness of ,m4       
,scherer1 who has allowed the present   
writer access to certain manuscript     
material in his possession1 even the    
sketch which follows1 vague and         
imperfect as it necessarily is1 would   
have been impossible4  ,footnote3 ,four 
or five articles on the subject of      
,amiel's life have been contributed to  
the ,rvue ,internationale by ,mdlle4    
,berthe ,vadier during the passage of   
the present book through the press4 ,my 
knowledge of them1 however1 came too    
late to enable me to make use of them   
for the purposes of the present         
introduction4  ,henri ,frdric ,amiel was
 born at ,geneva in ,september1 #ahba4  
,he belonged to one of the emigrant     
families1 of which a more or less steady

 supply had enriched the little republic
 during the three centuries following   
the ,reformation4 ,amiel's ancestors1   
like those of ,sismondi1 left ,languedoc
 for ,geneva after the revocation of the
 ,edict of ,nantes4 ,his father must    
have been a youth at the time when      
,geneva passed into the power of the    
,french republic1 and would seem to have
 married and settled in the halcyon days
 following the restoration of ,genevese 
independence in #ahad4 ,amiel was born  
when the prosperity of ,geneva was at   
its height1 when the little state was   
administered by men of ,european        
reputation1 and ,genevese society had   
power to attract distinguished visitors 
and admirers from all parts4 ,the       
veteran ,bonstetten1 who had been the   
friend of ,gray and the associate of    
,voltaire1 was still talking and        
enjoying life in his appartement        
overlooking the woods of ,la ,btie4     
,rossi and ,sismondi were busy lecturing
 to the ,genevese youth1 or taking part 

in ,genevese legislation2 an active     
scientific group1 headed by the         
,pictets1 ,de la ,rive1 and the botanist
 ,auguste-,pyrame de ,candolle1 kept the
 country abreast of ,european thought   
and speculation1 while the mixed        
nationality of the place--the blending  
in it of ,french keenness with          
,protestant enthusiasms and ,protestant 
solidity--was beginning to find         
inimitable and characteristic expression
 in the stories of ,tpffer4 ,the country
 was governed by an aristocracy1 which  
was not so much an aristocracy of birth 
as one of merit and intellect1 and the  
moderate constitutional ideas which     
represented the ,liberalism of the      
post-,waterloo period were nowhere more 
warmly embraced or more intelligently   
carried out than in ,geneva4  ,during   
the years1 however1 which immediately   
followed ,amiel's birth1 some signs of  
decadence began to be visible in this   
brilliant ,genevese society4 ,the       
generation which had waited for1        

prepared1 and controlled1 the           
,restoration of #ahad1 was falling into 
the background1 and the younger         
generation1 with all its respectability1
 wanted energy1 above all1 wanted       
leaders4 ,the revolutionary forces in   
the state1 which had made themselves    
violently felt during the civil turmoils
 of the period preceding the assembly of
 the ,french ,states ,general1 and had  
afterward produced the miniature ,terror
 which forced ,sismondi into exile1 had 
been for awhile laid to sleep by the    
events of #ahad4 ,but the slumber was a 
short one at ,geneva as elsewhere1 and  
when ,rossi quitted the republic for    
,france in #ahcc1 he did so with a mind 
full of misgivings as to the political  
future of the little state which had    
given him--an exile and a ,catholic--so 
generous a welcome in #ahai4 ,the ideas 
of #ahcj were shaking the fabric and    
disturbing the equilibrium of the ,swiss
 ,confederation as a whole1 and of many 
of the cantons composing it4 ,geneva was

 still apparently tranquil while her    
neighbors were disturbed1 but no one    
looking back on the history of the      
republic1 and able to measure the       
strength of the ,radical force in       
,europe after the fall of ,charles ,x41 
could have felt much doubt but that a   
few more years would bring ,geneva also 
into the whirlpool of political change4 
,in the same year--#ahcc--that ,m4      
,rossi had left ,geneva1 ,henri ,frdric 
,amiel1 at twelve years old1 was left   
orphaned of both his parents4 ,they had 
died comparatively young--his mother was
 only just over thirty1 and his father  
cannot have been much older4 ,on the    
death of the mother the little family   
was broken up1 the boy passing into the 
care of one relative1 his two sisters   
into that of another4 ,certain notes in 
,m4 ,scherer's possession throw a little
 light here and there upon a childhood  
and youth which must necessarily have   
been a little bare and forlorn4 ,they   
show us a sensitive1 impressionable boy1

 of health rather delicate than robust1 
already disposed to a more or less      
melancholy and dreamy view of life1 and 
showing a deep interest in those        
religious problems and ideas in which   
the air of ,geneva has been steeped     
since the days of ,calvin4 ,the         
religious teaching which a ,genevese lad
 undergoes prior to his admission to    
full church membership1 made a deep     
impression on him1 and certain mystical 
elements of character1 which remained   
strong in him to the end1 showed        
themselves very early4 ,at the college  
or public school of ,geneva1 and at the 
acadmie1 he would seem to have done only
 moderately as far as prizes and honors 
were concerned4 ,we are told1 however1  
that he read enormously1 and that he    
was1 generally speaking1 inclined rather
 to make friends with men older than    
himself than with his contemporaries4   
,he fell specially under the influence  
of ,adolphe ,pictet1 a brilliant        
philologist and man of letters belonging

 to a well-known ,genevese family1 and  
in later life he was able1 while        
reviewing one of ,m4 ,pictet's books1 to
 give grateful expression to his sense  
of obligation4  ,writing in #ahef he    
describes the effect produced in ,geneva
 by ,m4 ,pictet's ,lectures on          
,aesthetics in #ahdj--the first ever    
delivered in a town in which the        
,beautiful had been for centuries       
regarded as the rival and enemy of the  
,true4 8,he who is now writing10 says   
,amiel1 8was then among ,m4 ,pictet's   
youngest hearers4 ,since then twenty    
experiences of the same kind have       
followed each other in his intellectual 
experience1 yet none has effaced the    
deep impression made upon him by these  
lectures4 ,coming as they did at a      
favorable moment1 and answering many a  
positive question and many a vague      
aspiration of youth1 they exercised a   
decisive influence over his thought2    
they were to him an important step in   
that continuous initiation which we call

 life1 they filled him with fresh       
intuitions1 they brought near to him the
 horizons of his dreams4 ,and1 as always
 happens with a first-rate man1 what    
struck him even more than the teaching  
was the teacher4 ,so that this memory of
 #ahdj is still dear and precious to    
him1 and for this double service1 which 
is not of the kind one forgets1 the     
student of those days delights in       
expressing to the professor of #ahdj his
 sincere and filial gratitude40         
,amiel's first literary production1 or  
practically his first1 seems to have    
been the result partly of these         
lectures1 and partly of a visit to      
,italy which began in ,november1 #ahda4 
,in #ahdb1 a year which was spent       
entirely in ,italy and ,sicily1 he      
contributed three articles on ,m4 ,rio's
 book1 8,l',art ,chrtien10 to the       
,bibliothque ,universelle de ,genve4 ,we
 see in them the young student          
conscientiously writing his first       
review--writing it at inordinate length1

 as young reviewers are apt to do1 and  
treating the subject ab ovo in a grave1 
pontifical way1 which is a little nave  
and inexperienced indeed1 but still     
promising1 as all seriousness of work   
and purpose is promising4 ,all that is  
individual in it is first of all the    
strong ,christian feeling which much of 
it shows1 and secondly1 the tone of     
melancholy which already makes itself   
felt here and there1 especially in one  
rather remarkable passage4 ,as to the   
,christian feeling1 we find ,m4 ,rio    
described as belonging to 8that noble   
school of men who are striving to       
rekindle the dead beliefs of ,france1 to
 rescue ,frenchmen from the camp of     
materialistic or pantheistic ideas1 and 
rally them round that ,christian banner 
which is the banner of true progress and
 true civilization40 ,the ,renaissance  
is treated as a disastrous but          
inevitable crisis1 in which the idealism
 of the ,middle ,ages was dethroned by  
the naturalism of modern times--8,the   

,renaissance perhaps robbed us of more  
than it gave us0--and so on4 ,the tone  
of criticism is instructive enough to   
the student of ,amiel's mind1 but the   
product itself has no particular savor  
of its own4 ,the occasional note of     
depression and discouragement1 however1 
is a different thing2 here1 for those   
who know the 8,journal ,intime10 there  
is already something characteristic1    
something which foretells the future4   
,for instance1 after dwelling with      
evident zest on the nature of the       
metaphysical problems lying at the root 
of art in general1 and ,christian art in
 particular1 the writer goes on to set  
the difficulty of ,m4 ,rio's task       
against its attractiveness1 to insist on
 the intricacy of the investigations    
involved1 and on the impossibility of   
making the two instruments on which     
their success depends--the imaginative  
and the analytical faculty--work        
harmoniously and effectively together4  
,and supposing the goal achieved1       

supposing a man by insight and patience 
has succeeded in forcing his way farther
 than any previous explorer into the    
recesses of the ,beautiful or the ,true1
 there still remains the enormous1 the  
insuperable difficulty of expression1 of
 fit and adequate communication from    
mind to mind2 there still remains the   
question whether1 after all1 8he who    
discovers a new world in the depths of  
the invisible would not do wisely to    
plant on it a flag known to himself     
alone1 and1 like ,achilles1 #8devour his
 heart in secret2' whether the greatest 
problems which have ever been guessed on
 earth had not better have remained     
buried in the brain which had found the 
key to them1 and whether the deepest    
thinkers--those whose hand has been     
boldest in drawing aside the veil1 and  
their eye keenest in fathoming the      
mysteries beyond it--had not better1    
like the prophetess of ,ilion1 have kept
 for heaven1 and heaven only1 secrets   
and mysteries which human tongue cannot 

truly express1 nor human intelligence   
conceive40  ,curious words for a        
beginner of twenty-one6 ,there is a     
touch1 no doubt1 of youth and fatuity in
 the passage2 one feels how much the    
vague sonorous phrases have pleased the 
writer's immature literary sense2 but   
there is something else too--there is a 
breath of that same speculative passion 
which burns in the ,journal1 and one    
hears1 as it were1 the first accents of 
a melancholy1 the first expression of a 
mood of mind1 which became in after     
years the fixed characteristic of the   
writer4 8,at twenty he was already      
proud1 timid1 and melancholy10 writes an
 old friend2 and a little farther on1   
8,discouragement took possession of him 
very early40  ,however1 in spite of this
 inbred tendency1 which was probably    
hereditary and inevitable1 the years    
which followed these articles1 from     
#ahdb to ,christmas1 #ahdh1 were years  
of happiness and steady intellectual    
expansion4 ,they were ,amiel's          

,wanderjahre1 spent in a free1 wandering
 student life1 which left deep marks on 
his intellectual development4 ,during   
four years1 from #ahdd to #ahdh1 his    
headquarters were at ,berlin2 but every 
vacation saw him exploring some new     
country or fresh intellectual           
center--,scandinavia in #ahde1 ,holland 
in #ahdf1 ,vienna1 ,munich1 and ,tbingen
 in #ahdh1 while ,paris had already     
attracted him in #ahda1 and he was to   
make acquaintance with ,london ten years
 later1 in #ahea4 ,no circumstances     
could have been more favorable1 one     
would have thought1 to the development  
of such a nature4 ,with his             
extraordinary power of 8throwing himself
 into the object0--of effacing himself  
and his own personality in the presence 
of the thing to be understood and       
absorbed--he must have passed these     
years of travel and acquisition in a    
state of continuous intellectual energy 
and excitement4 ,it is in no spirit of  
conceit that he says in #aheg1 comparing

 himself with ,maine de ,biran1 8,this  
nature is1 as it were1 only one of the  
men which exist in me4 ,my horizon is   
vaster2 ,i have seen much more of men1  
things1 countries1 peoples1 books2 ,i   
have a greater mass of experiences40    
,this fact1 indeed1 of a wide and varied
 personal experience1 must never be     
forgotten in any critical estimate of   
,amiel as a man or writer4 ,we may so   
easily conceive him as a sedentary      
professor1 with the ordinary            
professorial knowledge1 or rather       
ignorance1 of men and the world1 falling
 into introspection under the pressure  
of circumstance1 and for want1 as it    
were1 of something else to think about4 
,not at all4 ,the man who has left us   
these microscopic analyses of his own   
moods and feelings1 had penetrated more 
or less into the social and intellectual
 life of half a dozen ,european         
countries1 and was familiar not only    
with the books1 but1 to a large extent  
also1 with the men of his generation4   

,the meditative and introspective gift  
was in him1 not the product1 but the    
mistress of circumstance4 ,it took from 
the outer world what that world had to  
give1 and then made the stuff so gained 
subservient to its own ends4  ,of these 
years of travel1 however1 the four years
 spent at ,berlin were by far the most  
important4 8,it was at ,heidelberg and  
,berlin10 says ,m4 ,scherer1 8that the  
world of science and speculation first  
opened on the dazzled eyes of the young 
man4 ,he was accustomed to speak of his 
four years at ,berlin as #8his          
intellectual phase1' and one felt that  
he inclined to regard them as the       
happiest period of his life4 ,the spell 
which ,berlin laid upon him lasted      
long40 ,probably his happiness in       
,germany was partly owing to a sense of 
reaction against ,geneva4 ,there are    
signs that he had felt himself somewhat 
isolated at school and college1 and that
 in the ,german world his special       
individuality1 with its dreaminess and  

its melancholy1 found congenial         
surroundings far more readily than had  
been the case in the drier and harsher  
atmosphere of the ,protestant ,rome4    
,however this may be1 it is certain that
 ,german thought took possession of him1
 that he became steeped not only in     
,german methods of speculation1 but in  
,german modes of expression1 in ,german 
forms of sentiment1 which clung to him  
through life1 and vitally affected both 
his opinions and his style4 ,m4 ,renan  
and ,m4 ,bourget shake their heads over 
the ,germanisms1 which1 according to the
 latter1 give a certain 8barbarous0 air 
to many passages of the ,journal4 ,but  
both admit that ,amiel's individuality  
owes a great part of its penetrating    
force to that intermingling of ,german  
with ,french elements1 of which there   
are such abundant traces in the         
8,journal ,intime40 ,amiel1 in fact1 is 
one more typical product of a movement  
which is certainly of enormous          
importance in the history of modern     

thought1 even though we may not be      
prepared to assent to all the sweeping  
terms in which a writer like ,m4 ,taine 
describes it4 8,from #aghj to #ahcj10   
says ,m4 ,taine1 8,germany produced all 
the ideas of our historical age1 and    
during another half-century1 perhaps    
another century1 notre grande affaire   
sera de les repenser40 ,he is inclined  
to compare the influence of ,german     
ideas on the modern world to the ferment
 of the ,renaissance4 ,no spiritual     
force 8more original1 more universal1   
more fruitful in consequences of every  
sort and bearing1 more capable of       
transforming and remaking everything    
presented to it1 has arisen during the  
last three hundred years4 ,like the     
spirit of the ,renaissance and of the   
classical age1 it attracts into its     
orbit all the great works of            
contemporary intelligence40 ,quinet1    
pursuing a somewhat different line of   
thought1 regards the worship of ,german 
ideas inaugurated in ,france by ,madame 

de ,stal as the natural result of       
reaction from the eighteenth century and
 all its ways4 8,german systems1 ,german
 hypotheses1 beliefs1 and poetry1 all   
were eagerly welcomed as a cure for     
hearts crushed by the mockery of        
,candide and the materialism of the     
,revolution4444 ,under the ,restoration 
,france continued to study ,german      
philosophy and poetry with profound     
veneration and submission4 ,we imitated1
 translated1 compiled1 and then again we
 compiled1 translated1 imitated40 ,the  
importance of the part played by ,german
 influence in ,french ,romanticism has  
indeed been much disputed1 but the debt 
of ,french metaphysics1 ,french         
philology1 and ,french historical study1
 to ,german methods and ,german research
 during the last half-century is beyond 
dispute4 ,and the movement to-day is as 
strong as ever4 ,a modern critic like   
,m4 ,darmstetter regards it as a        
misfortune that the artificial stimulus 
given by the war to the study of ,german

 has1 to some extent1 checked the study 
of ,english in ,france4 ,he thinks that 
the ,french have more to gain from our  
literature--taking literature in its    
general and popular sense--than from    
,german literature4 ,but he raises no   
question as to the inevitable subjection
 of the ,french to the ,german mind in  
matters of exact thought and knowledge4 
8,to study philology1 mythology1        
history1 without reading ,german10 he is
 as ready to confess as any one else1   
8is to condemn one's self to remain in  
every department twenty years behind the
 progress of science40  ,of this great  
movement1 already so productive1 ,amiel 
is then a fresh and remarkable instance4
 ,having caught from the ,germans not   
only their love of exact knowledge but  
also their love of vast horizons1 their 
insatiable curiosity as to the whence   
and whither of all things1 their sense  
of mystery and immensity in the         
universe1 he then brings those elements 
in him which belong to his ,french      

inheritance--and something individual   
besides1 which is not ,french but       
,genevese--to bear on his new           
acquisitions1 and the result is of the  
highest literary interest and value4    
,not that he succeeds altogether in the 
task of fusion4 ,for one who was to     
write and think in ,french1 he was      
perhaps too long in ,germany2 he had    
drunk too deeply of ,german thought2 he 
had been too much dazzled by the        
spectacle of ,berlin and its imposing   
intellectual activities4 8,as to his    
literary talent10 says ,m4 ,scherer1    
after dwelling on the rapid growth of   
his intellectual powers under ,german   
influence1 8the profit which ,amiel     
derived from his stay at ,berlin is more
 doubtful4 ,too long contact with the   
,german mind had led to the development 
in him of certain strangenesses of style
 which he had afterward to get rid of1  
and even perhaps of some habits of      
thought which he afterward felt the need
 of checking and correcting40 ,this is  

very true4 ,amiel is no doubt often     
guilty1 as ,m4 ,caro puts it1 of        
attempts 8to write ,german in ,french10 
and there are in his thought itself     
veins of mysticism1 elements of         
,schwrmerei1 here and there1 of which a 
good deal must be laid to the account of
 his ,german training4  ,m4 ,renan      
regrets that after ,geneva and after    
,berlin he never came to ,paris4 ,paris1
 he thinks1 would have counteracted the 
,hegelian influences brought to hear    
upon him at ,berlin1 ,footnote3 ,see a  
not1 however1 on the subject of ,amiel's
 philosophical relationships1 printed as
 an ,appendix to the present volume4    
would have taught him cheerfulness1 and 
taught him also the art of writing1 not 
beautiful fragments1 but a book4        
,possibly--but how much we should have  
lost6 ,instead of the ,amiel we know1 we
 should have had one accomplished       
,french critic the more4 ,instead of the
 spiritual drama of the 8,journal       
,intime10 some further additions to     

,french belles lettres2 instead of      
something to love1 something to admire6 
,no1 there is no wishing the ,german    
element in ,amiel away4 ,its invading1  
troubling effect upon his thought and   
temperament goes far to explain the     
interest and suggestiveness of his      
mental history4 ,the language he speaks 
is the language of that ,french         
criticism which--we have                
,sainte-,beuve's authority for it--is   
best described by the motto of          
,montaigne1 8,un peu de chaque chose et 
rien de l'ensemble1  la franaise10 and  
the thought he tries to express in it is
 thought torn and strained by the       
constant effort to reach the ,all1 the  
totality of things3 8,what ,i desire is 
the sum of all desires1 and what ,i seek
 to know is the sum of all different    
kinds of knowledge4 ,always the         
complete1 the absolute1 the teres atque 
rotundum40 ,and it was this antagonism1 
or rather this fusion of traditions in  
him1 which went far to make him         

original1 which opened to him1 that is  
to say1 so many new lights on old paths1
 and stirred in him such capacities of  
fresh and individual expression4  ,we   
have been carried forward1 however1 a   
little too far by this general          
discussion of ,amiel's debts to         
,germany4 ,let us take up the           
biographical thread again4 ,in #ahdh his
 ,berlin apprenticeship came to an end1 
and he returned to ,geneva4 8,how many  
places1 how many impressions1           
observations1 thoughts--how many forms  
of men and things--have passed before me
 and in me since ,april1 #ahdc10 he     
writes in the ,journal1 two or three    
months after his return4 8,the last     
seven years have been the most important
 of my life2 they have been the         
novitiate of my intelligence1 the       
initiation of my being into being40 ,the
 first literary evidence of his matured 
powers is to be found in two extremely  
interesting papers on ,berlin1 which he 
contributed to the ,bibliothque         

,universelle in #ahdh1 apparently just  
before he left ,germany4 ,here for the  
first time we have the ,amiel of the    
8,journal ,intime40 ,the young man who  
five years before had written his       
painstaking review of ,m4 ,rio is now in
 his turn a master4 ,he speaks with     
dignity and authority1 he has a graphic1
 vigorous prose at command1 the form of 
expression is condensed and             
epigrammatic1 and there is a mixture of 
enthusiasm and criticism in his         
description of the powerful intellectual
 machine then working in the ,prussian  
capital which represents a permanent    
note of character1 a lasting attitude of
 mind4 ,a great deal1 of course1 in the 
two papers is technical and statistic1  
but what there is of general comment and
 criticism is so good that one is       
tempted to make some melancholy         
comparisons between them and another    
article in the ,bibliothque1 that on    
,adolphe ,pictet1 written in #ahef1 and 
from which we have already quoted4 ,in  

#ahdh ,amiel was for awhile master of   
his powers and his knowledge2 no fatal  
divorce had yet taken place in him      
between the accumulating and producing  
faculties2 he writes readily even for   
the public1 without labor1 without      
affectations4 ,eight years later the    
reflective faculty has outgrown his     
control2 composition1 which represents  
the practical side of the intellectual  
life1 has become difficult and painful  
to him1 and he has developed what he    
himself calls 8a wavering manner1 born  
of doubt and scruple40  ,how few could  
have foreseen the failure in public and 
practical life which lay before him at  
the moment of his reappearance at       
,geneva in #ahdh6 8,my first meeting    
with him in #ahdi is still vividly      
present to me10 says ,m4 ,scherer4 8,he 
was twenty-eight1 and he had just come  
from ,germany laden with science1 but he
 wore his knowledge lightly1 his looks  
were attractive1 his conversation       
animated1 and no affectation spoiled the

 favorable impression he made on the    
bystander--the whole effect1 indeed1 was
 of something brilliant and striking4   
,in his young alertness ,amiel seemed to
 be entering upon life as a conqueror2  
one would have said the future was all  
his own40  ,his return1 moreover1 was   
marked by a success which seemed to     
secure him at once an important position
 in his native town4 ,after a public    
competition he was appointed1 in #ahdi1 
professor of esthetics and ,french      
literature at the ,academy of ,geneva1 a
 post which he held for four years1     
exchanging it for the professorship of  
moral philosophy in #ahed4 ,thus at     
twenty-eight1 without any struggle to   
succeed1 he had gained1 it would have   
seemed1 that safe foothold in life which
 should be all the philosopher or the   
critic wants to secure the full and     
fruitful development of his gifts4      
,unfortunately the appointment1 instead 
of the foundation and support1 was to be
 the stumbling block of his career4     

,geneva at the time was in a state of   
social and political ferment4 ,after a  
long struggle1 beginning with the       
revolutionary outbreak of ,november1    
#ahda1 the ,radical party1 led by ,james
 ,fazy1 had succeeded in ousting the    
,conservatives--that is to say1 the     
governing class1 which had ruled the    
republic since the ,restoration--from   
power4 ,and with the advent of the      
democratic constitution of #ahdf1 and   
the exclusion of the old ,genevese      
families from the administration they   
had so long monopolized1 a number of    
subsidiary changes were effected1 not   
less important to the ultimate success  
of ,radicalism than the change in       
political machinery introduced by the   
new constitution4 ,among them was the   
disappearance of almost the whole       
existing staff of the academy1 then and 
now the center of ,genevese education1  
and up to #ahdg the stronghold of the   
moderate ideas of #ahad1 followed by the
 appointment of new men less likely to  

hamper the ,radical order of things4    
,of these new men ,amiel was one4 ,he   
had been absent from ,geneva during the 
years of conflict which had preceded    
,fazy's triumph2 he seems to have had no
 family or party connections with the   
leaders of the defeated side1 and as ,m4
 ,scherer points out1 he could accept a 
non-political post at the hands of the  
new government1 two years after the     
violent measures which had marked its   
accession1 without breaking any pledges 
or sacrificing any convictions4 ,but    
none the less the step was a fatal one4 
,m4 ,renan is so far in the right4 ,if  
any timely friend had at that moment    
succeeded in tempting ,amiel to ,paris1 
as ,guizot tempted ,rossi in #ahcc1     
there can be little question that the   
young professor's after life would have 
been happier and saner4 ,as it was1     
,amiel threw himself into the           
competition for the chair1 was appointed
 professor1 and then found himself in a 
hopelessly false position1 placed on the

 threshold of life1 in relations and    
surroundings for which he was radically 
unfitted1 and cut off by no fault of his
 own from the milieu to which he rightly
 belonged1 and in which his sensitive   
individuality might have expanded       
normally and freely4 ,for the defeated  
upper class very naturally shut their   
doors on the nominees of the new rgime1 
and as this class represented at that   
moment almost everything that was       
intellectually distinguished in ,geneva1
 as it was the guardian1 broadly        
speaking1 of the scientific and literary
 traditions of the little state1 we can 
easily imagine how galling such a social
 ostracism must have been to the young  
professor1 accustomed to the stimulating
 atmosphere1 the common intellectual    
interests of ,berlin1 and tormented with
 perhaps more than the ordinary craving 
of youth for sympathy and for affection4
 ,in a great city1 containing within it 
a number of different circles of life1  
,amiel would easily have found his own  

circle1 nor could political discords    
have affected his social comfort to     
anything like the same extent4 ,but in a
 town not much larger than ,oxford1 and 
in which the cultured class had hitherto
 formed a more or less homogeneous and  
united whole1 it was almost impossible  
for ,amiel to escape from his grievance 
and establish a sufficient barrier of   
friendly interests between himself and  
the society which ignored him4 ,there   
can be no doubt that he suffered1 both  
in mind and character1 from the struggle
 the position involved4 ,he had no      
natural sympathy with radicalism4 ,his  
taste1 which was extremely fastidious1  
his judgment1 his passionate respect for
 truth1 were all offended by the noise1 
the narrowness1 the dogmatism of the    
triumphant democracy4 ,so that there was
 no making up on the one side for what  
he had lost on the other1 and he proudly
 resigned himself to an isolation and a 
reserve which1 reinforcing1 as they did1
 certain native weaknesses of character1

 had the most unfortunate effect upon   
his life4  ,in a passage of the ,journal
 written nearly thirty years after his  
election he allows himself a few        
pathetic words1 half of accusation1 half
 of self-reproach1 which make us realize
 how deeply this untowardness of social 
circumstance had affected him4 ,he is   
discussing one of ,madame de ,stal's    
favorite words1 the word consideration4 
8,what is consideration80 he asks4 8,how
 does a man obtain it8 how does it      
differ from fame1 esteem1 admiration80  
,and then he turns upon himself4 8,it is
 curious1 but the idea of consideration 
has been to me so little of a motive    
that ,i have not even been conscious of 
such an idea4 ,but ought ,i not to have 
been conscious of it80 he asks himself  
anxiously--8ought ,i not to have been   
more careful to win the good opinion of 
others1 more determined to conquer their
 hostility or indifference8 ,it would   
have been a joy to me to be smiled upon1
 loved1 encouraged1 welcomed1 and to    

obtain what ,i was so ready to give1    
kindness and goodwill4 ,but to hunt down
 consideration and reputation--to force 
the esteem of others--seemed to me an   
effort unworthy of myself1 almost a     
degradation4 ,a struggle with           
unfavorable opinion has seemed to me    
beneath me1 for all the while my heart  
has been full of sadness and            
disappointment1 and ,i have known and   
felt that ,i have been systematically   
and deliberately isolated4 ,untimely    
despair and the deepest discouragement  
have been my constant portion4          
,incapable of taking any interest in my 
talents for their own sake1 ,i let      
everything slip as soon as the hope of  
being loved for them and by them had    
forsaken me4 ,a hermit against my will1 
,i have not even found peace in         
solitude1 because my inmost conscience  
has not been any better satisfied than  
my heart40  ,still one may no doubt     
easily exaggerate this loneliness of    
,amiel's4 ,his social difficulties      

represent rather a dull discomfort in   
his life1 which in course of time1 and  
in combination with a good many other   
causes1 produced certain unfavorable    
results on his temperament and on his   
public career1 than anything very tragic
 and acute4 ,they were real1 and he1    
being what he was1 was specially        
unfitted to cope with and conquer them4 
,but he had his friends1 his pleasures1 
and even to some extent his successes1  
like other men4 8,he had an elasticity  
of mind10  says ,m4 ,scherer1 speaking  
of him as he knew him in youth1 8which  
reacted against vexations from without1 
and his cheerfulness was readily        
restored by conversation and the society
 of a few kindred spirits4 ,we were     
accustomed1 two or three friends and ,i1
 to walk every ,thursday to the ,salve1 
,lamartine's ,salve aux flancs azurs2 we
 dined there1 and did not return till   
nightfall40 ,they were days devoted to  
dbauches platoniciennes1 to 8the free   
exchange of ideas1 the free play of     

fancy and of gayety4 ,amiel was not one 
of the original members of these        
,thursday parties2 but whenever he      
joined us we regarded it as a fte-day4  
,in serious discussion he was a master  
of the unexpected1 and his energy1 his  
entrain1 affected us all4 ,if his       
grammatical questions1 his discussions  
of rhymes and synonyms1 astonished us at
 times1 how often1 on the other hand1   
did he not give us cause to admire the  
variety of his knowledge1 the precision 
of his ideas1 the charm of his quick    
intelligence6 ,we found him always1     
besides1 kindly and amiable1 a nature   
one might trust and lean upon with      
perfect security4 ,he awakened in us but
 one regret2 we could not understand how
 it was a man so richly gifted produced 
nothing1 or only trivialities40  ,in    
these last words of ,m4 ,scherer's we   
have come across the determining fact of
 ,amiel's life in its relation to the   
outer world--that 8sterility of genius10
 of which he was the victim4 ,for social

 ostracism and political anxiety would  
have mattered to him comparatively      
little if he could but have lost himself
 in the fruitful activities of thought1 
in the struggles and the victories of   
composition and creation4 ,a ,german    
professor of ,amiel's knowledge would   
have wanted nothing beyond his ,fach1   
and nine men out of ten in his          
circumstances would have made themselves
 the slave of a magnum opus1 and        
forgotten the vexations of everyday life
 in the 8douces joies de la science40   
,but there were certain characteristics 
in ,amiel which made it                 
impossible--which neutralized his       
powers1 his knowledge1 his intelligence1
 and condemned him1 so far as his public
 performance was concerned1 to          
barrenness and failure4 ,what were these
 characteristics1 this element of       
unsoundness and disease1 which ,m4 ,caro
 calls 8la maladie de l'idal80  ,before 
we can answer the question we must go   
back a little and try to realize the    

intellectual and moral equipment of the 
young man of twenty-eight1 who seemed to
 ,m4 ,scherer to have the world at his  
feet4 ,what were the chief qualities of 
mind and heart which ,amiel brought back
 with him from ,berlin8 ,in the first   
place1 an omnivorous desire to know3    
8,amiel10 says ,m4 ,scherer1 8read      
everything40 ,in the second1 an         
extraordinary power of sustained and    
concentrated thought1 and a passionate1 
almost a religious1 delight in the      
exercise of his power4 ,knowledge1      
science1 stirred in him no mere sense of
 curiosity or cold critical             
instinct--8he came to his desk as to an 
altar40 8,a friend who knew him well10  
says ,m4 ,scherer1 8remembers having    
heard him speak with deep emotion of    
that lofty serenity of mood which he had
 experienced during his years in        
,germany whenever1 in the early morning 
before dawn1 with his reading-lamp      
beside him1 he had found himself        
penetrating once more into the region of

 pure thought1 #8conversing with ideas1 
enjoying the inmost life of things4'0   
8,thought10 he says somewhere in the    
,journal1 8is like opium4 ,it can       
intoxicate us and yet leave us broad    
awake40 ,to this intoxication of thought
 he seems to have been always specially 
liable1 and his ,german                 
experience--unbalanced1 as such an      
experience generally is with a young    
man1 by family life1 or by any healthy  
commonplace interests and               
pleasures--developed the intellectual   
passion in him to an abnormal degree4   
,for four years he had devoted himself  
to the alternate excitement and         
satisfaction of this passion4 ,he had   
read enormously1 thought enormously1 and
 in the absence of any imperative claim 
on the practical side of him1 the       
accumulative1 reflective faculties had  
grown out of all proportion to the rest 
of the personality4 ,nor had any special
 subject the power to fix him4 ,had he  
been in ,france1 what ,sainte-,beuve    

calls the ,french 8imagination de dtail0
 would probably have attracted his      
pliant1 responsive nature1 and he would 
have found happy occupation in some one 
of the innumerable departments of       
research on which the ,french have been 
patiently spending their analytical gift
 since that general widening of horizons
 which accompanied and gave value to the
 ,romantic movement4 ,but instead he was
 at ,berlin1 in the center of that      
speculative ferment which followed the  
death of ,hegel and the break-up of the 
,hegelian idea into a number of         
different and conflicting sections of   
philosophical opinion4 ,he was under the
 spell of ,german synthesis1 of that    
traditional1 involuntary effort which   
the ,german mind makes1 generation after
 generation1 to find the unity of       
experience1 to range its accumulations  
from life and thought under a more and  
more perfect1 a more and more           
exhaustive1 formula4 ,not this study or 
that study1 not this detail or that1 but

 the whole of things1 the sum of        
,knowledge1 the ,infinite1 the          
,absolute1 alone had value or reality4  
,in his own words3 8,there is no repose 
for the mind except in the absolute2 for
 feeling except in the infinite2 for the
 soul except in the divine4 ,nothing    
finite is true1 is interesting1 is      
worthy to fix my attention4 ,all that is
 particular is exclusive1 and all that  
is exclusive repels me4 ,there is       
nothing non-exclusive but the ,all2 my  
end is communion with ,being through the
 whole of ,being40  ,it was not1 indeed1
 that he neglected the study of detail2 
he had a strong natural aptitude for it1
 and his knowledge was wide and real2   
but detail was ultimately valuable to   
him1 not in itself1 but as food for a   
speculative hunger1 for which1 after    
all1 there is no real satisfaction4 ,all
 the pleasant paths which traverse the  
kingdom of ,knowledge1 in which so many 
of us find shelter and life-long means  
of happiness1 led ,amiel straight into  

the wilderness of abstract speculation4 
,and the longer he lingered in the      
wilderness1 unchecked by any sense of   
intellectual responsibility1 and far    
from the sounds of human life1 the      
stranger and the weirder grew the       
hallucinations of thought4 ,the ,journal
 gives marvelous expression to them3 8,i
 can find no words for what ,i feel4 ,my
 consciousness is withdrawn into itself2
 ,i hear my heart beating1 and my life  
passing4 ,it seems to me that ,i have   
become a statue on the banks of the     
river of time1 that ,i am the spectator 
of some mystery1 and shall issue from it
 old1 or no longer capable of age40 ,or 
again3 8,i am a spectator1 so to speak1 
of the molecular whirlwind which men    
call individual life2 ,i am conscious of
 an incessant metamorphosis1 an         
irresistible movement of existence1     
which is going on within me--and this   
phenomenology of myself serves as a     
window opened upon the mystery of the   
world4 ,i am1 or rather my sensible     

consciousness is1 concentrated upon this
 ideal standing-point1 this invisible   
threshold1 as it were1 whence one hears 
the impetuous passage of time1 rushing  
and foaming as it flows out into the    
changeless ocean of eternity4 ,after all
 the bewildering distractions of        
life--after having drowned myself in a  
multiplicity of trifles and in the      
caprices of this fugitive existence1 yet
 without ever attaining to              
self-intoxication or self-delusion--,i  
come again upon the fathomless abyss1   
the silent and melancholy cavern1 where 
dwell #8,die ,mtter1' where sleeps that 
which neither lives nor dies1 which has 
neither movement nor change1 nor        
extension1 nor form1 and which lasts    
when all else passes away40  ,wonderful 
sentences6 8,prodiges de la pense       
speculative1 dcrits dans une langue non 
moins prodigieuse10 as ,m4 ,scherer says
 of the innumerable passages which      
describe either this intoxication of the
 infinite1 or the various forms and     

consequences of that deadening of       
personality which the abstract processes
 of thought tend to produce4 ,but it is 
easy to understand that a man in whom   
experiences of this kind become habitual
 is likely to lose his hold upon the    
normal interests of life4 ,what are     
politics or literature to such a mind   
but fragments without real              
importance--dwarfed reflections of ideal
 truths for which neither language nor  
institutions provide any adequate       
expression6 ,how is it possible to take 
seriously what is so manifestly relative
 and temporary as the various existing  
forms of human activity8 ,above all1 how
 is it possible to take one's self      
seriously1 to spend one's thought on the
 petty interests of a petty             
individuality1 when the beatific vision 
of universal knowledge1 of absolute     
being1 has once dawned on the dazzled   
beholder8 ,the charm and the savor of   
everything relative and phenomenal is   
gone4 ,a man may go on talking1         

teaching1 writing--but the spring of    
personal action is broken2 his actions  
are like the actions of a somnambulist4 
,no doubt to some extent this mood is   
familiar to all minds endowed with the  
true speculative genius4 ,the           
philosopher has always tended to become 
unfit for practical life2 his unfitness1
 indeed1 is one of the comic motives1 so
 to speak1 of literature4 ,but a mood   
which1 in the great majority of         
thinkers1 is intermittent1 and is easily
 kept within bounds by the practical    
needs1 the mere physical instincts of   
life1 was in ,amiel almost constant1 and
 the natural impulse of the human animal
 toward healthy movement and a normal   
play of function1 never very strong in  
him1 was gradually weakened and         
destroyed by an untoward combination of 
circumstances4 ,the low health from     
which he suffered more or less from his 
boyhood1 and then the depressing        
influences of the social difficulties we
 have described1 made it more and more  

difficult for the rest of the organism  
to react against the tyranny of the     
brain4 ,and as the normal human motives 
lost their force1 what he calls 8the    
,buddhist tendency in me0 gathered      
strength year by year1 until1 like some 
strange misgrowth1 it had absorbed the  
whole energies and drained the innermost
 life-blood of the personality which had
 developed it4 ,and the result is       
another soul's tragedy1 another story of
 conflict and failure1 which throws     
fresh light on the mysterious capacities
 of human nature1 and warns us1 as the  
letters of ,obermann in their day warned
 the generation of ,george ,sand1 that  
with the rise of new intellectual       
perceptions new spiritual dangers come  
into being1 and that across the path of 
continuous evolution which the modern   
mind is traversing there lies many a    
selva oscura1 many a lonely and desolate
 tract1 in which loss and pain await it4
 ,the story of the 8,journal ,intime0 is
 a story to make us think1 to make us   

anxious2 but at the same time1 in the   
case of a nature like ,amiel's1 there is
 so much high poetry thrown off from the
 long process of conflict1 the power of 
vision and of reproduction which the    
intellect gains at the expense of the   
rest of the personality is in many      
respects so real and so splendid1 and   
produces results so stirring often to   
the heart and imagination of the        
listener1 that in the end we put down   
the record not so much with a throb of  
pity as with an impulse of gratitude4   
,the individual error and suffering is  
almost forgotten2 all that we can       
realize is the enrichment of human      
feeling1 the quickened sense of         
spiritual reality bequeathed to us by   
the baffled and solitary thinker whose  
via dolorosa is before us4  ,the manner 
in which this intellectual idiosyncrasy 
we have been describing gradually       
affected ,amiel's life supplies abundant
 proof of its actuality and sincerity4  
,it is a pitiful story4 ,amiel might    

have been saved from despair by love and
 marriage1 by paternity1 by strenuous   
and successful literary production2 and 
this mental habit of his--this tyranny  
of ideal conceptions1 helped by the     
natural accompaniment of such a tyranny1
 a critical sense of abnormal           
acuteness--stood between him and        
everything healing and restoring4 8,i am
 afraid of an imperfect1 a faulty       
synthesis1 and ,i linger in the         
provisional1 from timidity and from     
loyalty40 8,as soon as a thing attracts 
me ,i turn away from it2 or rather1 ,i  
cannot either be content with the       
second-best1 or discover anything which 
satisfies my aspiration4 ,the real      
disgusts me1 and ,i cannot find the     
ideal40 ,and so one thing after another 
is put away4 ,family life attracted him 
perpetually4 8,i cannot escape10 he     
writes1 8from the ideal of it4 ,a       
companion1 of my life1 of my work1 of my
 thoughts1 of my hopes2 within a common 
worship--toward the world outside       

kindness and beneficence2 education to  
undertake2 the thousand and one moral   
relations which develop round the       
first--all these ideas intoxicate me    
sometimes40 ,but in vain4 8,reality1 the
 present1 the irreparable1 the          
necessary1 repel and even terrify me4 ,i
 have too much imagination1 conscience1 
and penetration and not enough          
character4 ,the life of thought alone   
seems to me to have enough elasticity   
and immensity1 to be free enough from   
the irreparable2 practical life makes me
 afraid4 ,i am distrustful of myself and
 of happiness because ,i know myself4   
,the ideal poisons for me all imperfect 
possession4 ,and ,i abhor useless       
regrets and repentance40  ,it is the    
same1 at bottom1 with his professional  
work4 ,he protects the intellectual     
freedom1 as it were1 of his students    
with the same jealousy as he protects   
his own4 ,there shall be no oratorical  
device1 no persuading1 no cajoling of   
the mind this way or that4 8,a professor

 is the priest of his subject1 and      
should do the honors of it gravely and  
with dignity40 ,and so the man who in   
his private ,journal is master of an    
eloquence and a poetry1 capable of      
illuminating the most difficult and     
abstract of subjects1 becomes in the    
lecture-room a dry compendium of        
universal knowledge4 8,led by his       
passion for the whole10 says ,m4        
,scherer1 8,amiel offered his hearers1  
not so much a series of positive        
teachings1 as an index of subjects1 a   
framework--what the ,germans call a     
,schematismus4 ,the skeleton was        
admirably put together1 and excellent of
 its kind1 and lent itself admirably to 
a certain kind of analysis and          
demonstration2 but it was a             
skeleton--flesh1 body1 and life were    
wanting40  ,so that as a professor he   
made no mark4 ,he was conscientiousness 
itself in whatever he conceived to be   
his duty4 ,but with all the critical and
 philosophical power which1 as we know  

from the ,journal1 he might have        
lavished on his teaching1 had the       
conditions been other than they were1   
the study of literature1 and the study  
of philosophy as such1 owe him nothing4 
,but for the ,journal his years of      
training and his years of teaching would
 have left equally little record behind 
them4 8,his pupils at ,geneva10 writes  
one who was himself among the number1   
,footnote3 ,m4 ,alphonse ,rivier1 now   
,professor of ,international ,law at the
 ,university of ,brussels4 8never       
learned to appreciate him at his true   
worth4 ,we did justice no doubt to a    
knowledge as varied as it was wide1 to  
his vast stores of reading1 to that     
cosmopolitanism of the best kind which  
he had brought back with him from his   
travels2 we liked him for his           
indulgence1 his kindly wit4 ,but ,i look
 back without any sense of pleasure to  
his lectures40  ,many a student1        
however1 has shrunk from the burden and 
risks of family life1 and has found     

himself incapable of teaching           
effectively what he knows1 and has yet  
redeemed all other incapacities in the  
field of literary production4 ,and here 
indeed we come to the strangest feature 
in ,amiel's career--his literary        
sterility4 ,that he possessed literary  
power of the highest order is abundantly
 proved by the 8,journal ,intime40      
,knowledge1 insight1 eloquence1 critical
 power--all were his4 ,and the impulse  
to produce1 which is the natural1 though
 by no means the invariable1            
accompaniment of the literary gift1 must
 have been fairly strong in him also4   
,for the 8,journal ,intime0 runs to     
#ag1jjj folio pages of ,,ms41 and his   
half dozen volumes of poems1 though the 
actual quantity is not large1 represent 
an amount of labor which would have more
 than carried him through some serious  
piece of critical or philosophical work1
 and so enabled him to content the just 
expectations of his world4 ,he began to 
write early1 as is proved by the fact   

that at twenty he was a contributor to  
the best literary periodical which      
,geneva possessed4 ,he was a charming   
correspondent1 and in spite of his      
passion for abstract thought1 his       
intellectual interest1 at any rate1 in  
all the activities of the day--politics1
 religious organizations1 literature1   
art--was of the keenest kind4 ,and yet  
at the time of his death all that this  
fine critic and profound thinker had    
given to the world1 after a life        
entirely spent in the pursuit of        
letters1 was1 in the first place1 a few 
volumes of poems which had had no effect
 except on a small number of sympathetic
 friends2 a few pages of penses         
intermingled with the poems1 and1 as we 
now know1 extracted from the ,journal2  
and four or five scattered essays1 the  
length of magazine articles1 on ,mme4 de
 ,stal1 ,rousseau1 the history of the   
,academy of ,geneva1 the literature of  
,french-speaking ,switzerland1 and so   
on6 ,and more than this1 the production1

 such as it was1 had been a production  
born of effort and difficulty2 and the  
labor squandered on poetical forms1 on  
metrical experiments and intricate      
problems of translation1 as well as the 
occasional affectations of the prose    
style1 might well have convinced the    
critical bystander that the mind of     
which these things were the offspring   
could have no real importance1 no       
profitable message1 for the world4  ,the
 whole 8,journal ,intime0 is in some    
sense ,amiel's explanation of these     
facts4 ,in it he has made full and      
bitter confession of his weakness1 his  
failure2 he has endeavored1 with an     
acuteness of analysis no other hand can 
rival1 to make the reasons of his       
failure and isolation clear both to     
himself and others4 8,to love1 to dream1
 to feel1 to learn1 to understand--all  
these are possible to me if only ,i may 
be dispensed from willing--,i have a    
sort of primitive horror of ambition1 of
 struggle1 of hatred1 of all which      

dissipates the soul and makes it        
dependent on external things and aims4  
,the joy of becoming once more conscious
 of myself1 of listening to the passage 
of time and the flow of the universal   
life1 is sometimes enough to make me    
forget every desire and to quench in me 
both the wish to produce and the power  
to execute40 ,it is the result of what  
he himself calls 8l'blouissement de     
l'infini40  ,he no sooner makes a step  
toward production1 toward action and the
 realization of himself1 than a vague   
sense of peril overtakes him4 ,the inner
 life1 with its boundless horizons and  
its indescribable exaltations1 seems    
endangered4 ,is he not about to place   
between himself and the forms of        
speculative truth some barrier of sense 
and matter--to give up the real for the 
apparent1 the substance for the shadow8 
,one is reminded of ,clough's cry under 
a somewhat similar experience3    8,if  
this pure solace should desert my mind1 
,what were all else8 ,i dare not risk   

the loss4   ,to the old paths1 my soul60
  ,and in close combination with the    
speculative sense1 with the tendency    
which carries a man toward the          
contemplative study of life and nature  
as a whole1 is the critical sense--the  
tendency which1 in the realm of action  
and concrete performance1 carries him1  
as ,amiel expresses it1 8droit au       
dfaut10 and makes him conscious at once 
of the weak point1 the germ of failure  
in a project or an action4 ,it is       
another aspect of the same idiosyncrasy4
 8,the point ,i have reached seems to be
 explained by a too restless search for 
perfection1 by the abuse of the critical
 faculty1 and by an unreasonable        
distrust of first impulses1 first       
thoughts1 first words4 ,confidence and  
spontaneity of life are drifting out of 
my reach1 and this is why ,i can no     
longer act40 ,for abuse of the critical 
faculty brings with it its natural      
consequences--timidity of soul1         
paralysis of the will1 complete         

self-distrust4 8,to know is enough for  
me2 expression seems to me often a      
profanity4 ,what ,i lack is character1  
will1 individuality40 8,by what         
mystery10 he writes to ,m4 ,scherer1 8do
 others expect much from me8 whereas ,i 
feel myself to be incapable of anything 
serious or important40 ,dfiance and     
impuissance are the words constantly on 
his lips4 8,my friends see what ,i might
 have been2 ,i see what ,i am40  ,and   
yet the literary instinct remains1 and  
must in some way be satisfied4 ,and so  
he takes refuge in what he himself calls
 scales1 exercises1 tours de force in   
verse-translation of the most laborious 
and difficult kind1 in ingenious vers   
d'occasion1 in metrical experiments and 
other literary trifling1 as his friends 
think it1 of the same sort4 8,i am      
afraid of greatness4 ,i am not afraid of
 ingenuity2 all my published literary   
essays are little else than studies1    
games1 exercises1 for the purpose of    
testing myself4 ,i play scales1 as it   

were2 ,i run up and down my instrument4 
,i train my hand and make sure of its   
capacity and skill4 ,but the work itself
 remains unachieved4 ,i am always       
preparing and never accomplishing1 and  
my energy is swallowed up in a kind of  
barren curiosity40  ,not that he        
surrenders himself to the nature which  
is stronger than he all at once4 ,his   
sense of duty rebels1 his conscience    
suffers1 and he makes resolution after  
resolution to shake himself free from   
the mental tradition which had taken    
such hold upon him--to write1 to        
produce1 to satisfy his friends4 ,in    
#ahfa1 a year after ,m4 ,scherer had    
left ,geneva1 ,amiel wrote to him1      
describing his difficulties and his     
discouragements1 and asking1 as one may 
ask an old friend of one's youth1 for   
help and counsel4 ,m4 ,scherer1 much    
touched by the appeal1 answered it      
plainly and frankly--described the      
feeling of those who knew him as they   
watched his life slipping away unmarked 

by any of the achievements of which his 
youth had given promise1 and pointed out
 various literary openings in which1 if 
he were to put out his powers1 he could 
not but succeed4 ,to begin with1 he     
urged him to join the ,revue            
,germanique1 then being started by      
,charles ,dollfus1 ,renan1 ,littr1 and  
others4 ,amiel left the letter for three
 months unanswered and then wrote a     
reply which ,m4 ,scherer probably       
received with a sigh of impatience4     
,for1 rightly interpreted1 it meant that
 old habits were too strong1 and that   
the momentary impulse had died away4    
,when1 a little later1 8,les            
,etrangres10  a collection of           
verse-translations1 came out1 it was    
dedicated to ,m4 ,scherer1 who did not1 
however1 pretend to give it any very    
cordial reception4 ,amiel took his      
friend's coolness in very good part1    
calling him his 8dear ,rhadamanthus40   
8,how little ,i knew60 cries ,m4        
,scherer4 8,what ,i regret is to have   

discovered too late by means of the     
,journal1 the key to a problem which    
seemed to me hardly serious1 and which  
,i now feel to have been tragic4 ,a kind
 of remorse seizes me that ,i was not   
able to understand my friend better1 and
 to soothe his suffering by a sympathy  
which would have been a mixture of pity 
and admiration40  ,was it that all the  
while ,amiel felt himself sure of his   
revanche that he knew the value of all  
those sheets of ,journal which were     
slowly accumulating under his hand8 ,did
 he say to himself sometimes3 8,my      
friends are wrong2 my gifts and my      
knowledge are not lost2 ,i have given   
expression to them in the only way      
possible to me1 and when ,i die it will 
be found that ,i too1 like other men1   
have performed the task appointed me1   
and contributed my quota to the human   
store80 ,it is clear that very early he 
began to regard it as possible that     
portions of the ,journal should be      
published after his death1 and1 as we   

have seen1 he left certain 8literary    
instructions10 dated seven years before 
his last illness1 in which his executors
 were directed to publish such parts of 
it as might seem to them to possess any 
general interest4 ,but it is clear also 
that the ,journal was not1 in any sense1
 written for publication4 8,these       
pages10 say the ,geneva editors1        
8written au courant de la               
plume--sometimes in the morning1 but    
more often at the end of the day1       
without any idea of composition or      
publicity--are marked by the repetition1
 the lacunae1 the carelessness1 inherent
 in this kind of monologue4 ,the        
thoughts and sentiments expressed have  
no other aim than sincerity of          
rendering40  ,and his estimate of the   
value of the record thus produced was1  
in general1 a low one1 especially during
 the depression and discouragement of   
his later years4 8,this ,journal of     
mine10 he writes in #ahgf1 8represents  
the material of a good many volumes2    

what prodigious waste of time1 of       
thought1 of strength6 ,it will be useful
 to nobody1 and even for myself--it has 
rather helped me to shirk life than to  
practice it40 ,and again3 8,is          
everything ,i have produced1 taken      
together--my correspondence1 these      
thousands of ,journal pages1 my         
lectures1 my articles1 my poems1 my     
notes of different kinds--anything      
better than withered leaves8 ,to whom   
and to what have ,i been useful8 ,will  
my name survive me a single day1 and    
will it ever mean anything to anybody8  
,a life of no account6 ,when all is     
added up--nothing60 ,in passages like   
these there is no anticipation of any   
posthumous triumph over the disapproval 
of his friends and the criticism of his 
fellow-citizens4 ,the ,journal was a    
relief1 the means of satisfying a need  
of expression which otherwise could find
 no outlet2 8a grief-cheating device10  
but nothing more4 ,it did not still the 
sense of remorse for wasted gifts and   

opportunities which followed poor ,amiel
 through the painful months of his last 
illness4 ,like ,keats1 he passed away1  
feeling that all was over1 and the great
 game of life lost forever4  ,it still  
remains for us to gather up a few facts 
and impressions of a different kind from
 those which we have been dwelling on1  
which may serve to complete and correct 
the picture we have so far drawn of the 
author of the ,journal4 ,for ,amiel is  
full of contradictions and surprises1   
which1 are indeed one great source of   
his attractiveness4 ,had he only been   
the thinker1 the critic1 the idealist we
 have been describing1 he would never   
have touched our feeling as he now does2
 what makes him so interesting is that  
there was in him a fond of heredity1 a  
temperament and disposition1 which were 
perpetually reacting against the        
oppression of the intellect and its     
accumulations4 ,in his hours of         
intellectual concentration he freed     
himself from all trammels of country or 

society1 or even1 as he insists1 from   
all sense of personality4 ,but at other 
times he was the dutiful son of a       
country which he loved1 taking a warm   
interest in everything ,genevese1       
especially in everything that           
represented the older life of the town4 
,when it was a question of separating   
the ,genevese state from the church1    
which had been the center of the        
national life during three centuries of 
honorable history1 ,amiel the           
philosopher1 the cosmopolitan1 threw    
himself ardently on to the side of the  
opponents of separation1 and rejoiced in
 their victory4 ,a large proportion of  
his poems deal with national subjects4  
,he was one of the first members of     
8,l',institut ,genevois10 founded in    
#ahec1 and he took a warm interest in   
the movement started by ,m4 ,eugene     
,rambert toward #ahgj1 for the          
improvement of secondary education      
throughout ,french-speaking             
,switzerland4 ,one of his friends dwells

 with emphasis on his 8sens profond des 
nationalits1 des langues1 des           
villes0--on his love for local          
characteristics1 for everything         
deep-rooted in the past1 and helping to 
sustain the present4 ,he is convinced   
that no state can live and thrive       
without a certain number of national    
prejudices1 without  priori beliefs and 
traditions4 ,it pleases him to see that 
there is a force in the ,genevese       
nationality which resists the leveling  
influences of a crude radicalism2 it    
rejoices him that ,geneva 8has not yet  
become a mere copy of anything1 and that
 she is still capable of deciding for   
herself4 ,those who say to her1 #8,do as
 they do at ,new ,york1 at ,paris1 at   
,rome1 at ,berlin1' are still in the    
minority4 ,the doctrinaires who would   
split her up and destroy her unity waste
 their breath upon her4 ,she divines the
 snare laid for her1 and turns away4 ,i 
like this proof of vitality40  ,his love
 of traveling never left him4 ,paris    

attracted him1 as it attracts all who   
cling to letters1 and he gained at one  
time or another a certain amount of     
acquaintance with ,french literary men4 
,in #aheb we find him for a time brought
 into contact with ,thierry1 ,lamennais1
 ,branger1 ,mignet1 etc41 as well as    
with ,romantics like ,alfred de ,vigny  
and ,thophile ,gautier4 ,there are poems
 addressed to ,de ,vigny and ,gautier in
 his first published volume of #ahed4   
,he revisited ,italy and his old haunts 
and friends in ,germany more than once1 
and in general kept the current of his  
life fresh and vigorous by his openness 
to impressions and additions from       
without4  ,he was1 as we have said1 a   
delightful correspondent1 8taking pains 
with the smallest note10 and within a   
small circle of friends much liked4 ,his
 was not a nature to be generally       
appreciated at its true value2 the      
motives which governed his life were too
 remote from the ordinary motives of    
human conduct1 and his characteristics  

just those which have always excited the
 distrust1 if not the scorn1 of the more
 practical and vigorous order of minds4 
,probably1 too--especially in his later 
years--there was a certain amount of    
self-consciousness and artificiality in 
his attitude toward the outer world1    
which was the result partly of the      
social difficulties we have described1  
partly of his own sense of difference   
from his surroundings1 and partly again 
of that timidity of nature1 that        
self-distrust1 which is revealed to us  
in the ,journal4 ,so that he was by no  
means generally popular1 and the great  
success of the ,journal is still a      
mystery to the majority of those who    
knew him merely as a fellow-citizen and 
acquaintance4 ,but his friends loved him
 and believed in him1 and the reserved  
student1 whose manners were thought     
affected in general society1 could and  
did make himself delightful to those who
 understood him1 or those who looked to 
him for affection4 8,according to my    

remembrance of him10 writes ,m4         
,scherer1 8he was bright1 sociable1 a   
charming companion4 ,others who knew him
 better and longer than ,i say the same4
 ,the mobility of his disposition       
counteracted his tendency to            
exaggerations of feeling4 ,in spite of  
his fits of melancholy1 his natural turn
 of mind was cheerful2 up to the end he 
was young1 a child even1 amused by mere 
nothings2 and whoever had heard him     
laugh his hearty student's laugh would  
have found it difficult to identify him 
with the author of so many somber       
pages40 ,m4 ,rivier1 his old pupil1     
remembers him as 8strong and active1    
still handsome1 delightful in           
conversation1 ready to amuse and be     
amused40 ,indeed1 if the photographs of 
him are to be trusted1 there must have  
been something specially attractive in  
the sensitive1 expressive face1 with its
 lofty brow1 fine eyes1 and kindly      
mouth4 ,it is the face of a poet rather 
than of a student1 and makes one        

understand certain other little points  
which his friends lay stress on--for    
instance1 his love for and popularity   
with children4  ,in his poems1 or at any
 rate in the earlier ones1 this lighter 
side finds more expression1             
proportionally1 than in the ,journal4   
,in the volume called 8,grains de ,mil10
 published in #ahed1 and containing     
verse written between the ages of       
eighteen and thirty1 there are poems    
addressed1 now to his sister1 now to old
 ,genevese friends1 and now to famous   
men of other countries whom he had seen 
and made friends with in passing1 which1
 read side by side with the 8,journal   
,intime10 bring a certain gleam and     
sparkle into an otherwise somber        
picture4 ,amiel was never a master of   
poetical form2 his verse1 compared to   
his prose1 is tame and fettered2 it     
never reaches the glow and splendor of  
expression which mark the finest        
passages of the ,journal4 ,it has       
ability1 thought--beauty even1 of a     

certain kind1 but no plastic power1 none
 of the incommunicable magic which a    
,george ,eliot seeks for in vain1 while 
it comes unasked1 to deck with          
imperishable charm the commonplace      
metaphysic and the simpler emotions of a
 ,tennyson or a ,burns4 ,still as       
,amiel's work1 his poetry has an        
interest for those who are interested in
 him4 ,sincerity is written in every    
line of it4 ,most of the thoughts and   
experiences with which one grows        
familiar in the ,journal are repeated in
 it2 the same joys1 the same            
aspirations1 the same sorrows are       
visible throughout it1 so that in       
reading it one is more and more         
impressed with the force and reality of 
the inner life which has left behind it 
so definite an image of itself4 ,and    
every now and then the poems add a      
detail1 a new impression1 which seems by
 contrast to give fresh value to the    
fine-spun speculations1 the lofty       
despairs1 of the ,journal4 ,take these  

verses1 written at twenty-one1 to his   
younger sister3    8,treize ans6 et sur 
ton front aucun baiser de mre   ,ne     
viendra1 pauvre enfant1 invoquer le     
bonheur2   ,treize ans6 et dans ce jour 
mil regard de ton pre   ,ne fera        
d'allgresse panouir ton coeur4          
8,orpheline1 c'est l le nom dont tu     
t'appelles1   ,oiseau n dans un nid que 
la foudre a bris2   ,de la couve1 hlas6 
seuls1 trois petits1 sans ailes         
,furent lancs au vent1 loin du reste    
cras4    8,et1 sems par l'clair sur les 
monts1 dans les plaines1   ,un mme toit 
encor n'a pu les abriter1   ,et du foyer
 natal1 malgr leurs plaintes vaines     
,dieu1 peut-tre longtemps1 voudra les   
carter4    8,pourtant console-toi6      
pense1 dans tes alarmes1   ,qu'un double
 bien te reste1 espoir et souvenir2     
,une main dans le ciel pour essuyer tes 
larmes2   ,une main ici-bas1 enfant1    
pour te bnir40  ,the last stanza is     
especially poor1 and in none of them is 
there much poetical promise4 ,but the   

pathetic image of a forlorn and orphaned
 childhood1 8un nid que la foudre a     
bris10 which it calls up1 and the tone  
of brotherly affection1 linger in one's 
memory4 ,and through much of the volume 
of #ahfc1 in the verses to 8,my         
,godson10 or in the charming poem to    
,loulou1 the little girl who at five    
years old1 daisy in hand1 had sworn him 
eternal friendship over ,gretchen's game
 of 8,er liebt mich--liebt mich nicht10 
one hears the same tender note4         
8,merci1 prophtique fleurette1          
,corolle  l'oracle vainqueur1   ,car    
voil trois ans1 paquerette1   ,que tu   
m'ouvris un petit coeur4    8,et depuis 
trois hivers1 ma belle1   ,l'enfant aux 
grands yeux de velours   ,maintient son 
petit coeur fidle1   ,fidle comme aux   
premiers jours40  ,his last poetical    
volume1 8,jour  ,jour10 published in    
#ahhj1 is far more uniformly melancholy 
and didactic in tone than the two       
earlier collections from which we have  
been quoting4 ,but though the dominant  

note is one of pain and austerity1 of   
philosophy touched with emotion1 and the
 general tone more purely introspective1
 there are many traces in it of the     
younger ,amiel1 dear1 for very ordinary 
human reasons1 to his sisters and his   
friends4 ,and1 in general1 the pathetic 
interest of the book for all whose      
sympathy answers to what ,george ,sand  
calls 8les tragdies que la pense aperoit
 et que l'oeil ne voit point0 is very   
great4 ,amiel published it a year before
 his death1 and the struggle with       
failing power which the ,journal reveals
 to us in its saddest and most intimate 
reality1 is here expressed in more      
reserved and measured form4 ,faith1     
doubt1 submission1 tenderness of        
feeling1 infinite aspiration1 moral     
passion1 that straining hope of         
something beyond1 which is the life of  
the religious soul--they are all here1  
and the ,dernier ,mot with which the sad
 little volume ends is poor ,amiel's    
epitaph on himself1 his conscious       

farewell to that more public aspect of  
his life in which he had suffered much  
and achieved comparatively so little4   
8,nous avons  plaisir compliqu le       
bonheur1   ,et par un idal frivole et   
suborneur     ,attach nos coeurs  la    
terre2   ,dupes des faux dehors tenus   
pour l'important1   ,mille choses pour  
nous ont du prix 444 et pourtant        
,une seule tait ncessaire4    8,sans fin
 nous prodiguons calculs1 efforts1      
travaux2   ,cependant1 au milieu des    
succs1 des bravos   ,en nous quelque    
chose soupire2   ,multipliant nos pas et
 nos soins de fourmis1   ,nous vondrions
 nous faire une foule d'amis4444        
,pourtant un seul pouvait suffire4      
8,victime des dsirs1 esclave des        
regrets1   ,l'homme s'agite1 et s'use1  
et vieillit sans progrs        ,sur sa  
toile de ,pnlope2   ,comme un sage      
mourant1 puissions-nous dire en paix    
,j'ai trop longtemps err1 cherch2 je me 
trompais2          ,tout est bien1 mon  
,dieu m'enveloppe40  ,upon the small    

remains of ,amiel's prose outside the   
,journal there is no occasion to dwell4 
,the two essays on ,madame de ,stal and 
,rousseau contain much fine critical    
remark1 and might find a place perhaps  
as an appendix to some future edition of
 the ,journal2 and some of the          
8,penses10 published in the latter half 
of the volume containing the 8,grains de
 ,mils10 are worthy of preservation4    
,but in general1 whatever he himself    
published was inferior to what might    
justly have been expected of him1 and no
 one was more conscious of the fact than
 himself4  ,the story of his fatal      
illness1 of the weary struggle for      
health which filled the last seven years
 of his life1 is abundantly told in the 
,journal--we must not repeat it here4   
,he had never been a strong man1 and at 
fifty-three he received1 at his doctor's
 hands1 his arrt de mort4 ,we are told  
that what killed him was 8heart disease1
 complicated by disease of the larynx10 
and that he suffered 8much and long40   

,he was buried in the cemetery of       
,clarens1 not far from his great        
contemporary ,alexander ,vinet2 and the 
affection of a sculptor friend provided 
the monument which now marks his        
resting-place4  ,we have thus exhausted 
all the biographical material which is  
at present available for the description
 of ,amiel's life and relations toward  
the outside world4 ,it is to be hoped   
that the friends to whom the charge of  
his memory has been specially committed 
may see their way in the future1 if not 
to a formal biography1 which is very    
likely better left unattempted1 at least
 to a volume of ,letters1 which would   
complete the 8,journal ,intime10 as     
,joubert's 8,correspondence0 completes  
the 8,penses40  ,there must be ample    
material for it2 and ,amiel's letters   
would probably supply us with more of   
that literary and critical reflection   
which his mind produced so freely and so
 well1 as long as there was no question 
of publication1 but which is at present 

somewhat overweighted in the 8,journal  
,intime40  ,but whether biography or    
correspondence is ever forthcoming or   
not1 the ,journal remains--and the      
,journal is the important matter4 ,we   
shall read the ,letters if they appear1 
as we now read the ,poems1 for the      
,journal's sake4 ,the man himself1 as   
poet1 teacher1 and littrateur1 produced 
no appreciable effect on his generation2
 but the posthumous record of his inner 
life has stirred the hearts of readers  
all over ,europe1 and won him a niche in
 the ,house of ,fame4 ,what are the     
reasons for this striking transformation
 of a man's position--a transformation  
which1 as ,m4 ,scherer says1 will rank  
among the curiosities of literary       
history8 ,in other words1 what has given
 the 8,journal ,intime0 its sudden and  
unexpected success8  ,in the first      
place1 no doubt1 its poetical quality1  
its beauty of manner--that fine literary
 expression in which ,amiel has been    
able to clothe the subtler processes of 

thought1 no less than the secrets of    
religious feeling1 or the aspects of    
natural scenery4 ,style is what gives   
value and currency to thought1 and      
,amiel1 in spite of all his ,germanisms1
 has style of the best kind4 ,he        
possesses in prose that indispensable   
magic which he lacks in poetry4  ,his   
style1 indeed1 is by no means always in 
harmony with the central ,french        
tradition4 ,probably a ,frenchman will  
be inclined to apply ,sainte-,beuve's   
remarks on ,amiel's elder countryman1   
,rodolphe ,tpffer1 to ,amiel himself3   
8,c'est ainsi qu'on crit dans les       
littratures qui n'ont point de capitale1
 de quartier gnral classique1 ou        
d',acadmie2 c'est ainsi qu'un ,allemand1
 qu'un ,amricain1 ou mme un ,anglais1   
use  son gr de sa langue4 ,en ,france au
 contraire1 o il y a une ,acadmie       
,franaise 444 on doit trouver qu'un tel 
style est une trs-grande nouveaut et le 
succs qu'il a obtenu un evnement3 il a  
fallu bien des circonstances pour y     

prparer40 ,no doubt the preparatory     
circumstance in ,amiel's case has been  
just that ,germanization of the ,french 
mind on which ,m4 ,taine and ,m4        
,bourget dwell with so much emphasis4   
,but1 be this as it may1 there is no    
mistaking the enthusiasm with which some
 of the best living writers of ,french  
have hailed these pages--instinct1 as   
one declares1 8with a strange and       
marvelous poetry20 full of phrases      
8d'une intense suggestion de beaut20    
according to another4 ,not that the     
whole of the ,journal flows with the    
same ease1 the same felicity4 ,there are
 a certain number of passages where     
,amiel ceases to be the writer1 and     
becomes the technical philosopher2 there
 are others1 though not many1 into which
 a certain ,german heaviness and        
diffuseness has crept1 dulling the edge 
of the sentences1 and retarding the     
development of the thought4 ,when all   
deductions have been made1 however1     
,amiel's claim is still first and       

foremost1 the claim of the poet and the 
artist2 of the man whose thought uses at
 will the harmonies and resources of    
speech1 and who has attained1 in words  
of his own1 8to the full and masterly   
expression of himself40  ,then to the   
poetical beauty of manner which first   
helped the book to penetrate1 faire sa  
troue1 as the ,french say1 we must add  
its extraordinary psychological         
interest4 ,both as poet and as          
psychologist1 ,amiel makes another link 
in a special tradition2 he adds another 
name to the list of those who have won a
 hearing from their fellows as          
interpreters of the inner life1 as the  
revealers of man to himself4 ,he is the 
successor of ,st4 ,augustine and ,dante2
 he is the brother of ,obermann and     
,maurice de ,gurin4 ,what others have   
done for the spiritual life of other    
generations he has done for the         
spiritual life of this1 and the wealth  
of poetical1 scientific1 and            
psychological faculty which he has      

brought to the analysis of human feeling
 and human perceptions places him--so   
far as the present century is           
concerned--at the head of the small and 
delicately-gifted class to which he     
belongs4 ,for beside his spiritual      
experience ,obermann's is superficial1  
and ,maurice de ,gurin's a passing      
trouble1 a mere quick outburst of       
passionate feeling4 ,amiel indeed has   
neither the continuous romantic beauty  
nor the rich descriptive wealth of      
,senancour4 ,the ,dent du ,midi1 with   
its untrodden solitude1 its primeval    
silences and its hovering eagles1 the   
,swiss landscape described in the       
8,fragment on the ,ranz des ,vaches10   
the summer moonlight on the ,lake of    
,neufchtel--these various pictures are  
the work of one of the most finished    
artists in words that literature has    
produced4 ,but how true ,george ,sand's 
criticism is6 8,chez ,obermann la       
sensibilit est active1 l'intelligence   
est paresseuse ou insuffisante40  ,he   

has a certain antique power of making   
the truisms of life splendid and        
impressive4 ,no one can write more      
poetical exercises than he on the old   
text of pulvis et umbra sumus1 but      
beyond this his philosophical power     
fails him4 ,as soon as he leaves the    
region of romantic description how      
wearisome the pages are apt to grow6    
,instead of a poet1 8un ergoteur        
,voltairien20 instead of the explorer of
 fresh secrets of the heart1 a ,parisian
 talking a cheap cynicism6              
,intellectually1 the ground gives way2  
there is no solidity of knowledge1 no   
range of thought4 ,above all1 the       
scientific idea in our sense is almost  
absent2 so that while ,amiel represents 
the modern mind at its keenest and best1
 dealing at will with the vast additions
 to knowledge which the last fifty years
 have brought forth1 ,senancour is still
 in the eighteenth-century stage1       
talking like ,rousseau of a return to   
primitive manners1 and discussing       

,christianity in the tone of the        
8,encyclopdie40  ,maurice de ,gurin1    
again1 is the inventor of new terms in  
the language of feeling1 a poet as      
,amiel and ,senancour are4 ,his love of 
nature1 the earth-passion which breathes
 in his letters and journal1 has a      
strange savor1 a force and flame which  
is all his own4 ,beside his actual sense
 of community with the visible world1   
,amiel's love of landscape has a tame1  
didactic air4 ,the ,swiss thinker is too
 ready to make nature a mere vehicle of 
moral or philosophical thought2 ,maurice
 de ,gurin loves her for herself alone1 
and has found words to describe her     
influence over him of extraordinary     
individuality and power4 ,but for the   
rest the story of his inner life has but
 small value in the history of thought4 
,his difficulties do not go deep enough2
 his struggle is intellectually not     
serious enough--we see in it only a     
common incident of modern experience    
poetically told2 it throws no light on  

the genesis and progress of the great   
forces which are molding and renovating 
the thought of the present--it tells us 
nothing for the future4  ,no--there is  
much more in the 8,journal ,intime0 than
 the imagination or the poetical glow   
which ,amiel shares with his immediate  
predecessors in the art of              
confession-writing4 ,his book is        
representative of human experience in   
its more intimate and personal forms to 
an extent hardly equaled since          
,rousseau4 ,for his study of himself is 
only a means to an end4 8,what interests
 me in myself10 he declares1 8is that ,i
 find in my own case a genuine example  
of human nature1 and therefore a        
specimen of general value40 ,it is the  
human consciousness of to-day1 of the   
modern world1 in its two-fold           
relation--its relation toward the       
infinite and the unknowable1 and its    
relation toward the visible universe    
which conditions it--which is the real  
subject of the 8,journal ,intime40      

,there are few elements of our present  
life which1 in a greater or less degree1
 are not made vocal in these pages4     
,amiel's intellectual interest is       
untiring4 ,philosophy1 science1 letters1
 art--he has penetrated the spirit of   
them all2 there is nothing1 or almost   
nothing1 within the wide range of modern
 activities which he has not at one time
 or other felt the attraction of1 and   
learned in some sense to understand4    
8,amiel10  says ,m4 ,renan1 8has his    
defects1 but he was certainly one of the
 strongest speculative heads who1 during
 the period from #ahde to #ahhj1 have   
reflected on the nature of things40     
,and1 although a certain fatal spiritual
 weakness debarred him to a great extent
 from the world of practical life1 his  
sympathy with action1 whether it was the
 action of the politician or the social 
reformer1 or merely that steady         
half-conscious performance of its daily 
duty which keeps humanity sweet and     
living1 was unfailing4 ,his horizon was 

not bounded by his own 8prison-cell10 or
 by that dream-world which he has       
described with so much subtle beauty2   
rather the energies which should have   
found their natural expression in       
literary or family life1 pent up within 
the mind itself1 excited in it a        
perpetual eagerness for intellectual    
discovery1 and new powers of sympathy   
with whatever crossed its field of      
vision4  ,so that the thinker1 the      
historian1 the critic1 will find himself
 at home with ,amiel4 ,the power of     
organizing his thought1 the art of      
writing a book1 monumentum aere         
perennius1 was indeed denied him--he    
laments it bitterly2 but1 on the other  
hand1 he is receptivity itself1         
responsive to all the great forces which
 move the time1 catching and reflecting 
on the mobile mirror of his mind        
whatever winds are blowing from the     
hills of thought4  ,and if the thinker  
is at home with him1 so too are the     
religious minds1 the natures for whom   

,god and duty are the foundation of     
existence4 ,here1 indeed1 we come to the
 innermost secret of ,amiel's charm1 the
 fact which probably goes farther than  
any other to explain his fascination for
 a large and growing class of readers4  
,for1 while he represents all the       
intellectual complexities of a time     
bewildered by the range and number of   
its own acquisitions1 the religious     
instinct in him is as strong and        
tenacious as in any of the              
representative exponents of the life of 
faith4 ,the intellect is clear and      
unwavering2 but the heart clings to old 
traditions1 and steadies itself on the  
rock of duty4 ,his ,calvinistic training
 lingers long in him2 and what detaches 
him from the ,hegelian school1 with     
which he has much in common1 is his own 
stronger sense of personal need1 his    
preoccupation with the idea of 8sin40   
8,he speaks10  says ,m4 ,renan          
contemptuously1 8of sin1 of salvation1  
of redemption1 and conversion1 as if    

these things were realities4 ,he asks me
 #8,what does ,m4 ,renan make of sin8'  
,eh bien1 je crois que je le supprime40 
,but it is just because ,amiel is       
profoundly sensitive to the problems of 
evil and responsibility1 and ,m4 ,renan 
dismisses them with this half-tolerant1 
half-skeptical smile1 that ,m4 ,renan's 
8,souvenirs0 inform and entertain us1   
while the 8,journal ,intime0 makes a    
deep impression on that moral sense     
which is at the root of individual and  
national life4  ,the ,journal is full1  
indeed1 of this note of personal        
religion4 ,religion1 ,amiel declares    
again and again1 cannot be replaced by  
philosophy4 ,the redemption of the      
intelligence is not the redemption of   
the heart4 ,the philosopher and critic  
may succeed in demonstrating that the   
various definite forms into which the   
religious thought of man has thrown     
itself throughout history are not       
absolute truth1 but only the temporary  
creations of a need which gradually and 

surely outgrows them all4 8,the         
,trinity1 the life to come1 paradise and
 hell1 may cease to be dogmas and       
spiritual realities1 the form and the   
letter may vanish away--the question of 
humanity remains3 ,what is it which     
saves80 ,amiel's answer to the question 
will recall to a wide ,english circle   
the method and spirit of an ,english    
teacher1 whose dear memory lives to-day 
in many a heart1 and is guiding many an 
effort in the cause of good--the method 
and spirit of the late ,professor ,green
 of ,balliol4 ,in many respects there   
was a gulf of difference between the two
 men4 ,the one had all the will and     
force of personality which the other    
lacked4 ,but the ultimate creed of both1
 the way in which both interpret the    
facts of nature and consciousness1 is   
practically the same4 ,in ,amiel's case1
 we have to gather it through all the   
variations and inevitable contradictions
 of a ,journal which is the reflection  
of a life1 not the systematic expression

 of a series of ideas1 but the main     
results are clear enough4 ,man is saved 
by love and duty1 and by the hope which 
springs from duty1 or rather from the   
moral facts of consciousness1 as a      
flower springs from the soil4           
,conscience and the moral progress of   
the race--these are his points of       
departure4 ,faith in the reality of the 
moral law is what he clings to when his 
inherited creed has yielded to the      
pressure of the intellect1 and after all
 the storms of pessimism and            
necessitarianism have passed over him4  
,the reconciliation of the two          
certitudes1 the two methods1 the        
scientific and the religious1 8is to be 
sought for in that moral law which is   
also a fact1 and every step of which    
requires for its explanation another    
cosmos than the cosmos of necessity40   
8,nature is the virtuality of mind1 the 
soul the fruit of life1 and liberty the 
flower of necessity40 ,consciousness is 
the one fixed point in this boundless   

and bottomless gulf of things1 and the  
soul's inward law1 as it has been       
painfully elaborated by human history1  
the only revelation of ,god4  ,the only 
but the sufficient revelation6 ,for this
 first article of a reasonable creed is 
the key to all else--the clue which     
leads the mind safely through the       
labyrinth of doubt into the presence of 
the ,eternal4 ,without attempting to    
define the indefinable1 the soul rises  
from the belief in the reality of love  
and duty to the belief in 8a holy will  
at the root of nature and destiny0--for 
8if man is capable of conceiving        
goodness1 the general principle of      
things1 which cannot be inferior to man1
 must be good40 ,and then the religious 
consciousness seizes on this            
intellectual deduction1 and clothes it  
in language of the heart1 in the tender 
and beautiful language of faith4 8,there
 is but one thing needful--to possess   
,god4 ,all our senses1 all our powers of
 mind and soul1 are so many ways of     

approaching the ,divine1 so many modes  
of tasting and adoring ,god4 ,religion  
is not a method2 it is a life--a higher 
and supernatural life1 mystical in its  
root and practical in its fruits2 a     
communion with ,god1 a calm and deep    
enthusiasm1 a love which radiates1 a    
force which acts1 a happiness which     
overflows40 ,and the faith of his youth 
and his maturity bears the shock of     
suffering1 and supports him through his 
last hours4 ,he writes a few months     
before the end3 8,the animal expires2   
man surrenders his soul to the author of
 the soul40 444 8,we dream alone1 we    
suffer alone1 we die alone1 we inhabit  
the last resting-place alone4 ,but there
 is nothing to prevent us from opening  
our solitude to ,god4 ,and so what was  
an austere monologue becomes dialogue1  
reluctance becomes docility1            
renunciation passes into peace1 and the 
sense of painful defeat is lost in the  
sense of recovered liberty0--8,tout est 
bien1 mon ,dieu m'enveloppe40  ,nor is  

this all4 ,it is not only that ,amiel's 
inmost thought and affections are stayed
 on this conception of 8a holy will at  
the root of nature and destiny0--in a   
certain very real sense he is a         
,christian4 ,no one is more sensitive   
than he to the contribution which       
,christianity has made to the religious 
wealth of mankind2 no one more          
penetrated than he with the truth of its
 essential doctrine 8death unto sin and 
a new birth unto righteousness40 8,the  
religion of sin1 of repentance and      
reconciliation10 he cries1 8the religion
 of the new birth and of eternal life1  
is not a religion to be ashamed of40    
,the world has found inspiration and    
guidance for eighteen centuries in the  
religious consciousness of ,jesus4 8,the
 gospel has modified the world and      
consoled mankind10 and so 8we may hold  
aloof from the churches and yet bow     
ourselves before ,jesus4 ,we may be     
suspicious of the clergy and refuse to  
have anything to do with catechisms1 and

 yet love the ,holy and the ,just who   
came to save and not to curse40 ,and in 
fact ,amiel's whole life and thought are
 steeped in ,christianity4 ,he is the   
spiritual descendant of one of the      
intensest and most individual forms of  
,christian belief1 and traces of his    
religious ancestry are visible in him at
 every step4 ,protestantism of the      
sincerer and nobler kind leaves an      
indelible impression on the nature which
 has once surrounded itself to the      
austere and penetrating influences      
flowing from the religion of sin and    
grace2 and so far as feeling and        
temperament are concerned1 ,amiel       
retained throughout his life the marks  
of ,calvinism and ,geneva4  ,and yet how
 clear the intellect remains1 through   
all the anxieties of thought1 and in the
 face of the soul's dearest memories and
 most passionate needs6 ,amiel1 as soon 
as his reasoning faculty has once       
reached its maturity1 never deceives    
himself as to the special claims of the 

religion which by instinct and          
inheritance he loves2 he makes no       
compromise with dogma or with miracle4  
,beyond the religions of the present he 
sees always the essential religion which
 lasts when all local forms and marvels 
have passed away2 and as years go on1   
with more and more clearness of         
conviction1 he learns to regard all     
special beliefs and systems as          
8prejudices1 useful in practice1 but    
still narrownesses of the mind20        
misgrowths of thought1 necessary in     
their time and place1 but still of no   
absolute value1 and having no final     
claim on the thought of man4  ,and it is
 just here--in this mixture of the faith
 which clings and aspires1 with the     
intellectual pliancy which allows the   
mind to sway freely under the pressure  
of life and experience1 and the deep    
respect for truth1 which will allow     
nothing to interfere between thought and
 its appointed tasks--that ,amiel's     
special claim upon us lies4 ,it is this 

balance of forces in him which makes him
 so widely representative of the modern 
mind--of its doubts1 its convictions1   
its hopes4 ,he speaks for the life of   
to-day as no other single voice has yet 
spoken for it2 in his contradictions1   
his fears1 his despairs1 and yet in the 
constant straining toward the unseen and
 the ideal which gives a fundamental    
unity to his inner life1 he is the type 
of a generation universally touched with
 doubt1 and yet as sensitive to the need
 of faith as any that have gone before  
it2 more widely conscious than its      
predecessors of the limitations of the  
human mind1 and of the iron pressure of 
man's physical environment2 but at the  
same time--paradox as it may seem--more 
conscious of man's greatness1 more      
deeply thrilled by the spectacle of the 
nobility and beauty interwoven with the 
universe4  ,and he plays this part of   
his so modestly1 with so much           
hesitation1 so much doubt of his thought
 and of himself6 ,he is no preacher1    

like ,emerson and ,carlyle1 with whom1  
as poet and idealist1 he has so much in 
common2 there is little resemblance     
between him and the men who speak1 as it
 were1 from a height to the crowd       
beneath1 sure always of themselves and  
what they have to say4 ,and here again  
he represents the present and           
foreshadows the future4 ,for the age of 
the preachers is passing those who speak
 with authority on the riddles of life  
and nature as the priests of this or    
that all-explaining dogma1 are becoming 
less important as knowledge spreads1 and
 the complexity of experience is made   
evident to a wider range of minds4 ,the 
force of things is against the certain  
people4 ,again and again truth escapes  
from the prisons made for her by mortal 
hands1 and as humanity carries on the   
endless pursuit she will pay more and   
more respectful heed to voices like this
 voice of the lonely ,genevese          
thinker--with its pathetic alterations  
of hope and fear1 and the moral         

steadfastness which is the inmost note  
of it--to these meditative lives1 which1
 through all the ebb and flow of        
thought1 and in the dim ways of doubt   
and suffering1 rich in knowledge1 and   
yet rich in faith1 grasp in new forms1  
and proclaim to us in new words1        
8,the mighty hopes which make us men40  
,,amiel',s ,,journal4          99       
99       99       99       99  ,where no
 other name is mentioned1 ,geneva is to 
be understood as the author's place of  
residence4  ,,berlin1 ,july #af4        
#ahdh4--,there is but one thing         
needful--to possess ,god4 ,all our      
senses1 all our powers of mind and soul1
 all our external resources1 are so many
 ways of approaching the divinity1 so   
many modes of tasting and of adoring    
,god4 ,we must learn to detach ourselves
 from all that is capable of being lost1
 to bind ourselves absolutely only to   
what is absolute and eternal1 and to    
enjoy the rest as a loan1 a usufruct4444
 ,to adore1 to understand1 to receive1  

to feel1 to give1 to act3 there is my   
law my duty1 my happiness1 my heaven4   
,let come what come will--even death4   
,only be at peace with self1 live in the
 presence of ,god1 in communion with    
,him1 and leave the guidance of         
existence to those universal powers     
against whom thou canst do nothing6 ,if 
death gives me time1 so much the better4
 ,if its summons is near1 so much the   
better still2 if a half-death overtake  
me1 still so much the better1 for so the
 path of success is closed to me only   
that ,i may find opening before me the  
path of heroism1 of moral greatness and 
resignation4 ,every life has its        
potentiality of greatness1 and as it is 
impossible to be outside ,god1 the best 
is consciously to dwell in ,him4        
,,berlin1 ,july #bj1 #ahdh4--;,it gives 
liberty and breadth to thought1 to learn
 to judge our own epoch from the point  
of view of universal history1 history   
from the point of view of geological    
periods1 geology from the point of view 

of astronomy4 ,when the duration of a   
man's life or of a people's life appears
 to us as microscopic as that of a fly  
and inversely1 the life of a gnat as    
infinite as that of a celestial body1   
with all its dust of nations1 we feel   
ourselves at once very small and very   
great1 and we are able1 as it were1 to  
survey from the height of the spheres   
our own existence1 and the little       
whirlwinds which agitate our little     
,europe4  ,at bottom there is but one   
subject of study3 the forms and         
metamorphoses of mind4 ,all other       
subjects may be reduced to that2 all    
other studies bring us back to this     
study4  ,,geneva1 ,april #bj1           
#ahdi4--;,it is six years ,footnote3    
,amiel left ,geneva for ,paris and      
,berlin in ,april1 #ahdh1 the preceding 
year1 #ahda-db1 having been spent in    
,italy and ,sicily4 to-day since ,i last
 left ,geneva4 ,how many journeys1 how  
many impressions1 observations1         
thoughts1 how many forms of men and     

things have since then passed before me 
and in me6 ,the last seven years have   
been the most important of my life3 they
 have been the novitiate of my          
intelligence1 the initiation of my being
 into being4  ,three snowstorms this    
afternoon4 ,poor blossoming plum-trees  
and peach trees6 ,what a difference from
 six years ago1 when the cherry-trees1  
adorned in their green spring dress and 
laden with their bridal flowers1 smiled 
at my departure along the ,vaudois      
fields1 and the lilacs of ,burgundy     
threw great gusts of perfume into my    
face6444  ,may #c1 #ahdi4--;,i have     
never felt any inward assurance of      
genius1 or any presentiment of glory or 
of happiness4 ,i have never seen myself 
in imagination great or famous1 or even 
a husband1 a father1 an influential     
citizen4 ,this indifference to the      
future1 this absolute self-distrust1    
are1 no doubt1 to be taken as signs4    
,what dreams ,i have are all vague and  
indefinite2 ,i ought not to live1 for ,i

 am now scarcely capable of living4     
,recognize your place2 let the living   
live2 and you1 gather together your     
thoughts1 leave behind you a legacy of  
feeling and ideas2 you will be most     
useful so4 ,renounce yourself1 accept   
the cup given you1 with its honey and   
its gall1 as it comes4 ,bring ,god down 
into your heart4 ,embalm your soul in   
,him now1 make within you a temple for  
the ,holy ,spirit1 be diligent in good  
works1 make others happier and better4  
,put personal ambition away from you1   
and then you will find consolation in   
living or in dying1 whatever may happen 
to you4  ,may #bg1 #ahdi4--,to be       
misunderstood even by those whom one    
loves is the cross and bitterness of    
life4 ,it is the secret of that sad and 
melancholy smile on the lips of great   
men which so few understand2 it is the  
cruelest trial reserved for             
self-devotion2 it is what must have     
oftenest wrung the heart of the ,son of 
man2 and if ,god could suffer1 it would 

be the wound we should be forever       
inflicting upon ,him4 ,he also--,he     
above all--is the great misunderstood1  
the least comprehended4 ,alas6 alas6    
never to tire1 never to grow cold2 to be
 patient1 sympathetic1 tender2 to look  
for the budding flower and the opening  
heart2 to hope always1 like ,god2 to    
love always--this is duty4  ,june #c1   
#ahdi4--;,fresh and delicious weather4  
,a long morning walk4 ,surprised the    
hawthorn and wild rose-trees in flower4 
,from the fields vague and health-giving
 scents4 ,the ,voirons fringed with     
dazzling mists1 and tints of exquisite  
softness over the ,salve4 ,work in the  
fields1 two delightful donkeys1 one     
pulling greedily at a hedge of barberry4
 ,then three little children4 ,i felt a 
boundless desire to caress and play with
 them4 ,to be able to enjoy such        
leisure1 these peaceful fields1 fine    
weather1 contentment2 to have my two    
sisters with me2 to rest my eyes on     
balmy meadows and blossoming orchards2  

to listen to the life singing in the    
grass and on the trees2 to be so calmly 
happy--is it not too much8 is it        
deserved8 ,o let me enjoy it with       
gratitude4 ,the days of trouble come    
soon enough and are many enough4 ,i have
 no presentiment of happiness4 ,all the 
more let me profit by the present4      
,come1 kind nature1 smile and enchant   
me6 ,veil from me awhile my own griefs  
and those of others2 let me see only the
 folds of thy queenly mantle1 and hide  
all miserable and ignoble things from me
 under thy bounties and splendors6      
,october #a1 #ahdi4--,yesterday1        
,sunday1 ,i read through and made       
extracts from the gospel of ,st4 ,john4 
,it confirmed me in my belief that about
 ,jesus we must believe no one but      
,himself1 and that what we have to do is
 to discover the true image of the      
founder behind all the prismatic        
reactions through which it comes to us1 
and which alter it more or less4 ,a ray 
of heavenly light traversing human life1

 the message of ,christ has been broken 
into a thousand rainbow colors and      
carried in a thousand directions4 ,it is
 the historical task of ,christianity to
 assume with every succeeding age a     
fresh metamorphosis1 and to be forever  
spiritualizing more and more her        
understanding of the ,christ and of     
salvation4  ,i am astounded at the      
incredible amount of ,judaism and       
formalism which still exists nineteen   
centuries after the ,redeemer's         
proclamation1 8it is the letter which   
killeth0--after his protest against a   
dead symbolism4 ,the new religion is so 
profound that it is not understood even 
now1 and would seem a blasphemy to the  
greater number of ,christians4 ,the     
person of ,christ is the center of it4  
,redemption1 eternal life1 divinity1    
humanity1 propitiation1 incarnation1    
judgment1 ,satan1 heaven and hell--all  
these beliefs have been so materialized 
and coarsened1 that with a strange irony
 they present to us the spectacle of    

things having a profound meaning and yet
 carnally interpreted4 ,christian       
boldness and ,christian liberty must be 
reconquered2 it is the church which is  
heretical1 the church whose sight is    
troubled and her heart timid4 ,whether  
we will or no1 there is an esoteric     
doctrine1 there is a relative           
revelation2 each man enters into ,god so
 much as ,god enters into him1 or as    
,angelus1 ,footnote3 ,angelus ,silesius1
 otherwise ,johannes ,soheffler1 the    
,german seventeenth century hymn-writer1
 whose tender and mystical verses have  
been popularized in ,england by ,miss   
,winkworth's translations in the ,lyra  
,germanica4 ,i think1 said1 8the eye by 
which ,i see ,god is the same eye by    
which ,he sees me40  ,christianity1 if  
it is to triumph over pantheism1 must   
absorb it4 ,to our pusillanimous eyes   
,jesus would have borne the marks of a  
hateful pantheism1 for he confirmed the 
,biblical phrase 8ye are gods10 and so  
would ,st4 ,paul1 who tells us that we  

are of 8the race of ,god40  ,our century
 wants a new theology--that is to say1 a
 more profound explanation of the nature
 of ,christ and of the light which it   
flashes upon heaven and upon humanity4  
99       99       99       99       99  
,heroism is the brilliant triumph of the
 soul over the flesh--that is to say1   
over fear3 fear of poverty1 of          
suffering1 of calumny1 of sickness1 of  
isolation1 and of death4 ,there is no   
serious piety without heroism4 ,heroism 
is the dazzling and glorious            
concentration of courage4         99    
99       99       99       99  ,duty has
 the virtue of making us feel the       
reality of a positive world while at the
 same time detaching us from it4        
99       99       99       99       99  
,december #cj1 #ahej4--,the relation of 
thought to action filled my mind on     
waking1 and ,i found myself carried     
toward a bizarre formula1 which seems to
 have something of the night still      
clinging about it3 ,action is but       

coarsened thought2 thought become       
concrete1 obscure1 and unconscious4 ,it 
seemed to me that our most trifling     
actions1 of eating1 walking1 and        
sleeping1 were the condensation of a    
multitude of truths and thoughts1 and   
that the wealth of ideas involved was in
 direct proportion to the commonness of 
the action 7as our dreams are the more  
active1 the deeper our sleep74 ,we are  
hemmed round with mystery1 and the      
greatest mysteries are contained in what
 we see and do every day4 ,in all       
spontaneity the work of creation is     
reproduced in analogy4 ,when the        
spontaneity is unconscious1 you have    
simple action2 when it is conscious1    
intelligent and moral action4 ,at bottom
 this is nothing more than the          
proposition of ,hegel3 8,what is        
rational is real2 and what is real is   
rational20 but it had never seemed to me
 more evident1 more palpable4           
,everything which is1 is thought1 but   
not conscious and individual thought4   

,the human intelligence is but the      
consciousness of being4 ,it is what ,i  
have formulated before3 ,everything is a
 symbol of a symbol1 and a symbol of    
what8 of mind4  444 ,i have just been   
looking through the complete works of   
,montesquieu1 and cannot yet make plain 
to myself the impression left on me by  
this singular style1 with its mixture of
 gravity and affectation1 of            
carelessness and precision1 of strength 
and delicacy2 so full of sly intention  
for all its coldness1 expressing at once
 inquisitiveness and indifference1      
abrupt1 piecemeal1 like notes thrown    
together haphazard1 and yet deliberate4 
,i seem to see an intelligence naturally
 grave and austere donning a dress of   
wit for convention's sake4 ,the author  
desires to entertain as much as to      
teach1 the thinker is also a bel-esprit1
 the jurisconsult has a touch of the    
coxcomb1 and a perfumed breath from the 
temple of ,venus has penetrated the     
tribunal of ,minos4 ,here we have       

austerity1 as the century understood it1
 in philosophy or religion4 ,in         
,montesquieu1 the art1 if there is any1 
lies not in the words but in the matter4
 ,the words run freely and lightly1 but 
the thought is self-conscious4          
99       99       99       99       99  
,each bud flowers but once and each     
flower has but its minute of perfect    
beauty2 so1 in the garden of the soul   
each feeling has1 as it were1 its       
flowering instant1 its one and only     
moment of expansive grace and radiant   
kingship4 ,each star passes but once in 
the night through the meridian over our 
heads and shines there but an instant2  
so1 in the heaven of the mind each      
thought touches its zenith but once1 and
 in that moment all its brilliancy and  
all its greatness culminate4 ,artist1   
poet1 or thinker1 if you want to fix and
 immortalize your ideas or your         
feelings1 seize them at this precise and
 fleeting moment1 for it is their       
highest point4 ,before it1 you have but 

vague outlines or dim presentiments of  
them4 ,after it you will have only      
weakened reminiscence or powerless      
regret2 that moment is the moment of    
your ideal4  ,spite is anger which is   
afraid to show itself1 it is an impotent
 fury conscious of its impotence4       
99       99       99       99       99  
,nothing resembles pride so much as     
discouragement4         99       99     
99       99       99  ,to repel one's   
cross is to make it heavier4         99 
99       99       99       99  ,in the  
conduct of life1 habits count for more  
than maxims1 because habit is a living  
maxim1 becomes flesh and instinct4 ,to  
reform one's maxims is nothing3 it is   
but to change the title of the book4 ,to
 learn new habits is everything1 for it 
is to reach the substance of life4 ,life
 is but a tissue of habits4         99  
99       99       99       99  ,february
 #ag1 #ahea4--;,i have been reading1 for
 six or seven hours without stopping the
 ,penses of ,joubert4 ,i felt at first a

 very strong attraction toward the book1
 and a deep interest in it1 but ,i have 
already a good deal cooled down4 ,these 
scattered and fragmentary thoughts1     
falling upon one without a pause1 like  
drops of light1 tire1 not my head1 but  
reasoning power4 ,the merits of ,joubert
 consist in the grace of the style1 the 
vivacity or finesse of the criticisms1  
the charm of the metaphors2 but he      
starts many more problems than he       
solves1 he notices and records more than
 he explains4 ,his philosophy is merely 
literary and popular2 his originality is
 only in detail and in execution4       
,altogether1 he is a writer of          
reflections rather than a philosopher1 a
 critic of remarkable gifts1 endowed    
with exquisite sensibility1 but1 as an  
intelligence1 destitute of the capacity 
for co-ordination4 ,he wants            
concentration and continuity4 ,it is not
 that he has no claims to be considered 
a philosopher or an artist1 but rather  
that he is both imperfectly1 for he     

thinks and writes marvelously1 on a     
small scale4 ,he is an entomologist1 a  
lapidary1 a jeweler1 a coiner of        
sentences1 of adages1 of criticisms1 of 
aphorisms1 counsels1 problems2 and his  
book1 extracted from the accumulations  
of his journal during fifty years of his
 life1 is a collection of precious      
stones1 of butterflies1 coins and       
engraved gems4 ,the whole1 however1 is  
more subtle than strong1 more poetical  
than profound1 and leaves upon the      
reader rather the impression of a great 
wealth of small curiosities of value1   
than of a great intellectual existence  
and a new point of view4 ,the place of  
,joubert seems to me then1 below and    
very far from the philosophers and the  
true poets1 but honorable among the     
moralists and the critics4 ,he is one of
 those men who are superior to their    
works1 and who have themselves the unity
 which these lack4 ,this first judgment 
is1 besides1 indiscriminate and severe4 
,i shall have to modify it later4       

,february #bjth4--,i have almost        
finished these two volumes of ,penses   
and the greater part of the             
,correspondance4 ,this last has         
especially charmed me2 it is remarkable 
for grace1 delicacy1 atticism1 and      
precision4 ,the chapters on metaphysics 
and philosophy are the most             
insignificant4 ,all that has to do with 
large views with the whole of things1 is
 very little at ,joubert's command2 he  
has no philosophy of history1 no        
speculative intuition4 ,he is the       
thinker of detail1 and his proper field 
is psychology and matters of taste4 ,in 
this sphere of the subtleties and       
delicacies of imagination and feeling1  
within the circle of personal           
affectation and preoccupations1 of      
social and educational interests1 he    
abounds in ingenuity and sagacity1 in   
fine criticisms1 in exquisite touches4  
,it is like a bee going from flower to  
flower1 a teasing1 plundering1 wayward  
zephyr1 an ,aeolian harp1 a ray of      

furtive light stealing through the      
leaves4 ,taken as a whole1 there is     
something impalpable and immaterial     
about him1 which ,i will not venture to 
call effeminate1 but which is scarcely  
manly4 ,he wants bone and body3 timid1  
dreamy1 and clairvoyant1 he hovers far  
above reality4 ,he is rather a soul1 a  
breath1 than a man4 ,it is the mind of a
 woman in the character of a child1 so  
that we feel for him less admiration    
than tenderness and gratitude4          
,february #bg1 #ahea4--,read over the   
first book of ,emile4 ,i was revolted1  
contrary to all expectation1 for ,i     
opened the book with a sort of hunger   
for style and beauty4 ,i was conscious  
instead of an impression of heaviness   
and harshness1 of labored1 hammering    
emphasis1 of something violent1         
passionate1 and obstinate1 without      
serenity1 greatness1 nobility4 ,both the
 qualities and the defects of the book  
produced in me a sense of lack of good  
manners1 a blaze of talent1 but no      

grace1 no distinction1 the accent of    
good company wanting4 ,i understood how 
it is that ,rousseau rouses a particular
 kind of repugnance1 the repugnance of  
good taste1 and ,i felt the danger to   
style involved in such a model as well  
as the danger to thought arising from a 
truth so alloyed and sophisticated4     
,what there is of true and strong in    
,rousseau did not escape me1 and ,i     
still admired him1 but his bad sides    
appeared to me with a clearness         
relatively new4  7,same day47--,the     
pense-writer is to the philosopher what 
the dilettante is to the artist4 ,he    
plays with thought1 and makes it produce
 a crowd of pretty things in detail1 but
 he is more anxious about truths than   
truth1 and what is essential in thought1
 its sequence1 its unity1 escapes him4  
,he handles his instrument agreeably1   
but he does not possess it1 still less  
does he create it4 ,he is a gardener and
 not a geologist2 he cultivates the     
earth only so much as is necessary to   

make it produce for him flowers and     
fruits2 he does not dig deep enough into
 it to understand it4 ,in a word1 the   
pense-writer deals with what is         
superficial and fragmentary4 ,he is the 
literary1 the oratorical1 the talking or
 writing philosopher2 whereas the       
philosopher is the scientific           
pense-writer4 ,the pense-writers serve  
to stimulate or to popularize the       
philosophers4 ,they have thus a double  
use1 besides their charm4 ,they are the 
pioneers of the army of readers1 the    
doctors of the crowd1 the money-changers
 of thought1 which they convert into    
current coin4 ,the writer of pense is a 
man of letters1 though of a serious     
type1 and therefore he is popular4 ,the 
philosopher is a specialist1 as far as  
the form of his science goes1 though not
 in substance1 and therefore he can     
never become popular4 ,in ,france1 for  
one philosopher 7,descartes7 there have 
been thirty writers of penses2 in       
,germany1 for ten such writers there    

have been twenty philosophers4  ,march  
#be1 #ahea4--;,how many illustrious men 
whom ,i have known have been already    
reaped by death1 ,steffens1 ,marheineke1
 ,neander1 ,mendelssohn1 ,thorwaldsen1  
,oelenschlger1 ,geijer1 ,tegner1        
,oersted1 ,stuhr1 ,lachmann2 and with   
us1 ,sismondi1 ,tpffer1 de ,candolle1   
savants1 artists1 poets1 musicians1     
historians4 ,footnote3 ,of these        
,marheineke1 ,neander1 and ,lachmann had
 been lecturing at ,berlin during       
,amiel's residence there4 ,the ,danish  
dramatic poet ,oelenschlger and the     
,swedish writer ,tegner were among the  
,scandinavian men of letters with whom  
he made acquaintance during his tour of 
,sweden and ,denmark in #ahde4 ,he      
probably came across the ,swedish       
historian ,geijer on the same occasion4 
,schelling and ,alexander von ,humboldt1
 mentioned a little lower down1 were    
also still holding sway at ,berlin when 
he was a student4 ,there is an          
interesting description in one of his   

articles on ,berlin1 published in the   
,bibliothque ,universelle de ,genve1 of 
a university ceremonial there in or     
about #ahdg1 and of the effect produced 
on the student's young imagination by   
the sight of half the leaders of        
,european research gathered into a      
single room4 ,he saw ,schlosser1 the    
veteran historian1 at ,heidelberg at the
 end of #ahdc4 ,the old generation is   
going4 ,what will the new bring us8     
,what shall we ourselves contribute8 ,a 
few great old men--,schelling1          
,alexander von ,humboldt1               
,schlosser--still link us with the      
glorious past4 ,who is preparing to bear
 the weight of the future8 ,a shiver    
seizes us when the ranks grow thin      
around us1 when age is stealing upon us1
 when we approach the zenith1 and when  
destiny says to us3 8,show what is in   
thee6 ,now is the moment1 now is the    
hour1 else fall back into nothingness6  
,it is thy turn6 ,give the world thy    
measure1 say thy word1 reveal thy       

nullity or thy capacity4 ,come forth    
from the shade6 ,it is no longer a      
question of promising1 thou must        
perform4 ,the time of apprenticeship is 
over4 ,servant1 show us what thou hast  
done with thy talent4 ,speak now1 or be 
silent forever40 ,this appeal of the    
conscience is a solemn summons in the   
life of every man1 solemn and awful as  
the trumpet of the last judgment4 ,it   
cries1 8,art thou ready8 ,give an       
account4 ,give an account of thy years1 
thy leisure1 thy strength1 thy studies1 
thy talent1 and thy works4 ,now and here
 is the hour of great hearts1 the hour  
of heroism and of genius40  ,april #f1  
#ahea4--,was there ever any one so      
vulnerable as ,i8 ,if ,i were a father  
how many griefs and vexations1 a child  
might cause me4 ,as a husband ,i should 
have a thousand ways of suffering       
because my happiness demands a thousand 
conditions ,i have a heart too easily   
reached1 a too restless imagination2    
despair is easy to me1 and every        

sensation reverberates again and again  
within me4 ,what might be1 spoils for me
 what is4 ,what ought to be consumes me 
with sadness4 ,so the reality1 the      
present1 the irreparable1 the necessary1
 repel and even terrify me4 ,i have too 
much imagination1 conscience and        
penetration1 and not enough character4  
,the life of thought alone seems to me  
to have enough elasticity and immensity1
 to be free enough from the irreparable2
 practical life makes me afraid4  ,and  
yet1 at the same time it attracts me2 ,i
 have need of it4 ,family life1         
especially1 in all its delightfulness1  
in all its moral depth1 appeals to me   
almost like a duty4 ,sometimes ,i cannot
 escape from the ideal of it4 ,a        
companion of my life1 of my work1 of my 
thoughts1 of my hopes2 within1 a common 
worship1 toward the world outside1      
kindness and beneficence2 educations to 
undertake1 the thousand and one moral   
relations which develop round the first1
 all these ideas intoxicate me          

sometimes4 ,but ,i put them aside       
because every hope is1 as it were1 an   
egg whence a serpent may issue instead  
of a dove1 because every joy missed is a
 stab2 because every seed confided to   
destiny contains an ear of grief which  
the future may develop4  ,i am          
distrustful of myself and of happiness  
because ,i know myself4 ,the ideal      
poisons for me all imperfect possession4
 ,everything which compromises the      
future or destroys my inner liberty1    
which enslaves me to things or obliges  
me to be other than ,i could and ought  
to be1 all which injures my idea of the 
perfect man1 hurts me mortally1 degrades
 and wounds me in mind1 even beforehand4
 ,i abhor useless regrets and           
repentances4 ,the fatality of the       
consequences which follow upon every    
human act1 the leading idea of dramatic 
art and the most tragic element of life1
 arrests me more certainly than the arm 
of the ,commandeur4 ,i only act with    
regret1 and almost by force4  ,to be    

dependent is to me terrible2 but to     
depend upon what is irreparable1        
arbitrary and unforeseen1 and above all 
to be so dependent by my fault and      
through my own error1 to give up liberty
 and hope1 to slay sleep and happiness1 
this would be hell6  ,all that is       
necessary1 providential1 in short1      
unimputable1 ,i could bear1 ,i think1   
with some strength of mind4 ,but        
responsibility mortally envenoms grief2 
and as an act is essentially voluntary1 
therefore ,i act as little as possible4 
,last outbreak of a rebellious and      
deceitful self-will1 craving for repose 
for satisfaction1 for independence6 is  
there not some relic of selfishness in  
such a disinterestedness1 such a fear1  
such idle susceptibility4  ,i wish to   
fulfill my duty1 but where is it1 what  
is it8 ,here inclination comes in again 
and interprets the oracle4 ,and the     
ultimate question is this3 ,does duty   
consist in obeying one's nature1 even   
the best and most spiritual8 or in      

conquering it8  ,life1 is it essentially
 the education of the mind and          
intelligence1 or that of the will8 ,and 
does will show itself in strength or in 
resignation8 ,if the aim of life is to  
teach us renunciation1 then welcome     
sickness1 hindrances1 sufferings of     
every kind6 ,but if its aim is to       
produce the perfect man1 then one must  
watch over one's integrity of mind and  
body4 ,to court trial is to tempt ,god4 
,at bottom1 the ,god of justice veils   
from me the ,god of love4 ,i tremble    
instead of trusting4  ,whenever         
conscience speaks with a divided1       
uncertain1 and disputed voice1 it is not
 yet the voice of ,god4 ,descend still  
deeper into yourself1 until you hear    
nothing but a clear and undivided voice1
 a voice which does away with doubt and 
brings with it persuasion1 light and    
serenity4 ,happy1 says the apostle1 are 
they who are at peace with themselves1  
and whose heart condemneth them not in  
the part they take4 ,this inner         

identity1 this unity of conviction1 is  
all the more difficult the more the mind
 analyzes1 discriminates1 and foresees4 
,it is difficult1 indeed1 for liberty to
 return to the frank unity of instinct4 
,alas6 we must then re-climb a thousand 
times the peaks already scaled1 and     
reconquer the points of view already    
won1 we must fight the fight6 ,the human
 heart1 like kings1 signs mere truces   
under a pretence of perpetual peace4    
,the eternal life is eternally to be    
re-won4 ,alas1 yes6 peace itself is a   
struggle1 or rather it is struggle and  
activity which are the law4 ,we only    
find rest in effort1 as the flame only  
finds existence in combustion4 ,o       
,heraclitus6 the symbol of happiness is 
after all the same as that of grief2    
anxiety and hope1 hell and heaven1 are  
equally restless4 ,the altar of ,vesta  
and the sacrifice of ,beelzebub burn    
with the same fire4 ,ah1 yes1 there you 
have life--life double-faced and        
double-edged4 ,the fire which enlightens

 is also the fire which consumes2 the   
element of the gods may become that of  
the accursed4  ,april #g1 #ahea4--,read 
a part of ,ruge's ,footnote3 ,arnold    
,ruge1 born in #ahjc1 died at ,brighton 
in #ahhj1 principal editor of the       
,hallische1 afterward the ,deutsche     
,jahrbcher 7#ahch-dc71 in which         
,strauss1 ,bruno ,bauer1 and ,louis     
,feuerbach wrote4 ,he was a member of   
the parliament of ,frankfort4 volume    
8,die ,academie0 7#ahdh7 where the      
humanism of the neo-,hegelians in       
politics1 religion1 and literature is   
represented by correspondents or        
articles 7,kuno ,fischer1 ,kollach1     
etc74 ,they recall the philosophist     
party of the last century1 able to      
dissolve anything by reason and         
reasoning1 but unable to construct      
anything2 for construction rests upon   
feeling1 instinct1 and will4 ,one finds 
them mistaking philosophic consciousness
 for realizing power1 the redemption of 
the intelligence for the redemption of  

the heart1 that is to say1 the part for 
the whole4 ,these papers make me        
understand the radical difference       
between morals and intellectualism4 ,the
 writers of them wish to supplant       
religion by philosophy4 ,man is the     
principle of their religion1 and        
intellect is the climax of man4 ,their  
religion1 then1 is the religion of      
intellect4 ,there you have the two      
worlds3 ,christianity brings and        
preaches salvation by the conversion of 
the will1 humanism by the emancipation  
of the mind4 ,one attacks the heart1 the
 other the brain4 ,both wish to enable  
man to reach his ideal4 ,but the ideal  
differs1 if not by its content1 at least
 by the disposition of its content1 by  
the predominance and sovereignty given  
to this for that inner power4 ,for one1 
the mind is the organ of the soul2 for  
the other1 the soul is an inferior state
 of the mind2 the one wishes to         
enlighten by making better1 the other to
 make better by enlightening4 ,it is the

 difference between ,socrates and       
,jesus4  ,the cardinal question is that 
of sin4 ,the question of immanence or of
 dualism is secondary4 ,the trinity1 the
 life to come1 paradise and hell1 may   
cease to be dogmas1 and spiritual       
realities1 the form and the letter may  
vanish away1 the question of humanity   
remains3 ,what is it which saves8 ,how  
can man be led to be truly man8 ,is the 
ultimate root of his being              
responsibility1 yes or no8 ,and is doing
 or knowing the right1 acting or        
thinking1 his ultimate end8 ,if science 
does not produce love it is             
insufficient4 ,now all that science     
gives is the amor intellectualis of     
,spinoza1 light without warmth1 a       
resignation which is contemplative and  
grandiose1 but inhuman1 because it is   
scarcely transmissible and remains a    
privilege1 one of the rarest of all4    
,moral love places the center of the    
individual in the center of being4 ,it  
has at least salvation in principle1 the

 germ of eternal life4 ,to love is      
virtually to know2 to know is not       
virtually to love2 there you have the   
relation of these two modes of man4 ,the
 redemption wrought by science or by    
intellectual love is then inferior to   
the redemption wrought by will or by    
moral love4 ,the first may free a man   
from himself1 it may enfranchise him    
from egotism4 ,the second drives the ego
 out of itself1 makes it active and     
fruitful4 ,the one is critical1         
purifying1 negative2 the other is       
vivifying1 fertilizing1 positive4       
,science1 however spiritual and         
substantial it may be in itself1 is     
still formal relatively to love4 ,moral 
force is then the vital point4 ,and this
 force is only produced by moral force4 
,like alone acts upon like4 ,therefore  
do not amend by reasoning1 but by       
example2 approach feeling by feeling2 do
 not hope to excite love except by love4
 ,be what you wish others to become4    
,let yourself and not your words preach 

for you4  ,philosophy1 then1 to return  
to the subject1 can never replace       
religion2 revolutionaries are not       
apostles1 although the apostles may have
 been revolutionaries4 ,to save from the
 outside to the inside--and by the      
outside ,i understand also the          
intelligence relatively to the will--is 
an error and danger4 ,the negative part 
of the humanist's work is good2 it will 
strip ,christianity of an outer shell1  
which has become superfluous2 but ,ruge 
and ,feuerbach cannot save humanity4    
,she must have her saints and her heroes
 to complete the work of her            
philosophers4 ,science is the power of  
man1 and love his strength2 man becomes 
man only by the intelligence1 but he is 
man only by the heart4 ,knowledge1 love1
 power--there is the complete life4     
,june #af1 #ahea4--,this evening ,i     
walked up and down on the ,pont des     
,bergues1 under a clear1 moonless heaven
 delighting in the freshness of the     
water1 streaked with light from the two 

quays1 and glimmering under the         
twinkling stars4 ,meeting all these     
different groups of young people1       
families1 couples and children1 who were
 returning to their homes1 to their     
garrets or their drawing-rooms1 singing 
or talking as they went1 ,i felt a      
movement of sympathy for all these      
passers-by2 my eyes and ears became     
those of a poet or a painter2 while even
 one's mere kindly curiosity seems to   
bring with it a joy in living and in    
seeing others live4  ,august #ae1       
#ahea4--,to know how to be ready1 a     
great thing1 a precious gift1 and one   
that implies calculation1 grasp and     
decision4 ,to be always ready a man must
 be able to cut a knot1 for everything  
cannot be untied2 he must know how to   
disengage what is essential from the    
detail in which it is enwrapped1 for    
everything cannot be equally considered2
 in a word1 he must be able to simplify 
his duties1 his business1 and his life4 
,to know how to be ready1 is to know how

 to start4  ,it is astonishing how all  
of us are generally cumbered up with the
 thousand and one hindrances and duties 
which are not such1 but which           
nevertheless wind us about with their   
spider threads and fetter the movement  
of our wings4 ,it is the lack of order  
which makes us slaves2 the confusion of 
to-day discounts the freedom of         
to-morrow4  ,confusion is the enemy of  
all comfort1 and confusion is born of   
procrastination4 ,to know how to be     
ready we must be able to finish4        
,nothing is done but what is finished4  
,the things which we leave dragging     
behind us will start up again later on  
before us and harass our path4 ,let each
 day take thought for what concerns it1 
liquidate its own affairs and respect   
the day which is to follow1 and then we 
shall be always ready4 ,to know how to  
be ready is at bottom to know how to    
die4  ,september #b1 #ahea4--,read the  
work of ,tocqueville 78,de la           
,democratie en ,amrique407 ,my          

impression is as yet a mixed one4 ,a    
fine book1 but ,i feel in it a little   
too much imitation of ,montesquieu4     
,this abstract1 piquant1 sententious    
style1 too1 is a little dry1            
over-refined and monotonous4 ,it has too
 much cleverness and not enough         
imagination4 ,it makes one think1 more  
than it charms1 and though really       
serious1 it seems flippant4 ,his method 
of splitting up a thought1 of           
illuminating a subject by successive    
facets1 has serious inconveniences4 ,we 
see the details too clearly1 to the     
detriment of the whole4 ,a multitude of 
sparks gives but a poor light4          
,nevertheless1 the author is evidently a
 ripe and penetrating intelligence1 who 
takes a comprehensive view of his       
subject1 while at the same time         
possessing a power of acute and         
exhaustive analysis4  ,september        
#fth4--,tocqueville's book has on the   
whole a calming effect upon the mind1   
but it leaves a certain sense of disgust

 behind4 ,it makes one realize the      
necessity of what is happening around us
 and the inevitableness of the goal     
prepared for us2 but it also makes it   
plain that the era of mediocrity in     
everything is beginning1 and mediocrity 
freezes all desire4 ,equality engenders 
uniformity1 and it is by sacrificing    
what is excellent1 remarkable1 and      
extraordinary that we get rid of what is
 bad4 ,the whole becomes less barbarous1
 and at the same time more vulgar4  ,the
 age of great men is going2 the epoch of
 the ant-hill1 of life in multiplicity1 
is beginning4 ,the century of           
individualism1 if abstract equality     
triumphs1 runs a great risk of seeing no
 more true individuals4 ,by continual   
leveling and division of labor1 society 
will become everything and man nothing4 
,as the floor of valleys is raised by   
the denudation and washing down of the  
mountains1 what is average will rise at 
the expense of what is great4 ,the      
exceptional will disappear4 ,a plateau  

with fewer and fewer undulations1       
without contrasts and without           
oppositions1 such will be the aspect of 
human society4 ,the statistician will   
register a growing progress1 and the    
moralist a gradual decline3 on the one  
hand1 a progress of things2 on the      
other1 a decline of souls4 ,the useful  
will take the place of the beautiful1   
industry of art1 political economy of   
religion1 and arithmetic of poetry4 ,the
 spleen will become the malady of a     
leveling age4  ,is this indeed the fate 
reserved for the democratic era8 ,may   
not the general well-being be purchased 
too dearly at such a price8 ,the        
creative force which in the beginning we
 see forever tending to produce and     
multiply differences1 will it afterward 
retrace its steps and obliterate them   
one by one8 ,and equality1 which in the 
dawn of existence is mere inertia1      
torpor1 and death1 is it to become at   
last the natural form of life8 ,or      
rather1 above the economic and political

 equality to which the socialist and    
non-socialist democracy aspires1 taking 
it too often for the term of its        
efforts1 will there not arise a new     
kingdom of mind1 a church of refuge1 a  
republic of souls1 in which1 far beyond 
the region of mere right and sordid     
utility1 beauty1 devotion1 holiness1    
heroism1 enthusiasm1 the extraordinary1 
the infinite1 shall have a worship and  
an abiding city8 ,utilitarian           
materialism1 barren well-being1 the     
idolatry of the flesh and of the 8,i10  
of the temporal and of mammon1 are they 
to be the goal if our efforts1 the final
 recompense promised to the labors of   
our race8 ,i do not believe it4 ,the    
ideal of humanity is something different
 and higher4  ,but the animal in us must
 be satisfied first1 and we must first  
banish from among us all suffering which
 is superfluous and has its origin in   
social arrangements1 before we can      
return to spiritual goods4  ,september  
#g1 #ahea4 7,aix74--,it is ten o'clock  

at night4 ,a strange and mystic         
moonlight1 with a fresh breeze and a sky
 crossed by a few wandering clouds1     
makes our terrace delightful4 ,these    
pale and gentle rays shed from the      
zenith a subdued and penetrating peace2 
it is like the calm joy or the pensive  
smile of experience1 combined with a    
certain stoic strength4 ,the stars      
shine1 the leaves tremble in the silver 
light4 ,not a sound in all the          
landscape2 great gulfs of shadow under  
the green alleys and at the corners of  
the steps4 ,everything is secret1       
solemn1 mysterious4  ,o night hours1    
hours of silence and solitude6 with you 
are grace and melancholy2 you sadden and
 you console4 ,you speak to us of all   
that has passed away1 and of all that   
must still die1 but you say to us1      
8courage60 and you promise us rest4     
,november #i1 #ahea4 7,sunday74--,at the
 church of ,st4 ,gervais1 a second      
sermon from ,adolphe ,monod1 less       
grandiose perhaps but almost more       

original1 and to me more edifying than  
that of last ,sunday4 ,the subject was  
,st4 ,paul or the active life1 his      
former one having been ,st4 ,john or the
 inner life1 of the ,christian4 ,i felt 
the golden spell of eloquence3 ,i found 
myself hanging on the lips of the       
orator1 fascinated by his boldness1 his 
grace1 his energy1 and his art1 his     
sincerity1 and his talent2 and it was   
borne in upon me that for some men      
difficulties are a source of            
inspiration1 so that what would make    
others stumble is for them the occasion 
of their highest triumphs4 ,he made ,st4
 ,paul cry during an hour and a half2 he
 made an old nurse of him1 he hunted up 
his old cloak1 his prescriptions of     
water and wine to ,timothy1 the canvas  
that he mended1 his friend ,tychicus1 in
 short1 all that could raise a smile2   
and from it he drew the most unfailing  
pathos1 the most austere and penetrating
 lessons4 ,he made the whole ,st4 ,paul1
 martyr1 apostle and man1 his grief1 his

 charities1 his tenderness1 live again  
before us1 and this with a grandeur1 an 
unction1 a warmth of reality1 such as ,i
 had never seen equaled4  ,how stirring 
is such an apotheosis of pain in our    
century of comfort1 when shepherds and  
sheep alike sink benumbed in ,capuan    
languors1 such an apotheosis of ardent  
charity in a time of coldness and       
indifference toward souls1 such an      
apotheosis of a human1 natural1 inbred  
,christianity1 in an age1 when some put 
it1 so to speak1 above man1 and others  
below man6 ,finally1 as a peroration1 he
 dwelt upon the necessity for a new     
people1 for a stronger generation1 if   
the world is to be saved from the       
tempests which threaten it4 8,people of 
,god1 awake6 ,sow in tears1 that ye may 
reap in triumph60 ,what a study is such 
a sermon6 ,i felt all the extraordinary 
literary skill of it1 while my eyes were
 still dim with tears4 ,diction1        
composition1 similes1 all is instructive
 and precious to remember4 ,i was       

astonished1 shaken1 taken hold of4      
,november #ah1 #ahea4--,the energetic   
subjectivity1 which has faith in itself1
 which does not fear to be something    
particular and definite without any     
consciousness or shame of its subjective
 illusion1 is unknown to me4 ,i am1 so  
far as the intellectual order is        
concerned1 essentially objective1 and my
 distinctive speciality1 is to be able  
to place myself in all points of view1  
to see through all eyes1 to emancipate  
myself1 that is to say1 from the        
individual prison4 ,hence aptitude for  
theory and irresolution in practice2    
hence critical talent and difficulty in 
spontaneous production4 ,hence1 also1 a 
continuous uncertainty of conviction and
 opinion1 so long as my aptitude        
remained mere instinct2 but now that it 
is conscious and possesses itself1 it is
 able to conclude and affirm in its     
turn1 so that1 after having brought     
disquiet1 it now brings peace4 ,it says3
 8,there is no repose for the mind      

except in the absolute2 for feeling1    
except in the infinite2 for the soul1   
except in the divine40 ,nothing finite  
is true1 is interesting1 or worthy to   
fix my attention4 ,all that is          
particular is exclusive1 and all that is
 exclusive1 repels me4 ,there is nothing
 non-exclusive but the ,all2 my end is  
communion with ,being through the whole 
of ,being4 ,then1 in the light of the   
absolute1 every idea becomes worth      
studying2 in that of the infinite1 every
 existence worth respecting2 in that of 
the divine1 every creature worth loving4
  ,december #b1 #ahea4--,let mystery    
have its place in you2 do not be always 
turning up your whole soil with the     
plowshare of self-examination1 but leave
 a little fallow corner in your heart   
ready for any seed the winds may bring1 
and reserve a nook of shadow for the    
passing bird2 keep a place in your heart
 for the unexpected guests1 an altar for
 the unknown ,god4 ,then if a bird sing 
among your branches1 do not be too eager

 to tame it4 ,if you are conscious of   
something new--thought or feeling1      
wakening in the depths of your being--do
 not be in a hurry to let in light upon 
it1 to look at it2 let the springing    
germ have the protection of being       
forgotten1 hedge it round with quiet1   
and do not break in upon its darkness2  
let it take shape and grow1 and not a   
word of your happiness to any one6      
,sacred work of nature as it is1 all    
conception should be enwrapped by the   
triple veil of modesty1 silence and     
night4         99       99       99     
99       99  ,kindness is the principle 
of tact1 and respect for others the     
first condition of savoir-vivre4        
99       99       99       99       99  
,he who is silent is forgotten2 he who  
abstains is taken at his word2 he who   
does not advance1 falls back2 he who    
stops is overwhelmed1 distanced1        
crushed2 he who ceases to grow greater  
becomes smaller2 he who leaves off1     
gives up2 the stationary condition is   

the beginning of the end--it is the     
terrible symptom which precedes death4  
,to live1 is to achieve a perpetual     
triumph2 it is to assert one's self     
against destruction1 against sickness1  
against the annulling and dispersion of 
one's physical and moral being4 ,it is  
to will without ceasing1 or rather to   
refresh one's will day by day4          
99       99       99       99       99  
,it is not history which teaches        
conscience to be honest2 it is the      
conscience which educates history4 ,fact
 is corrupting1 it is we who correct it 
by the persistence of our ideal4 ,the   
soul moralizes the past in order not to 
be demoralized by it4 ,like the         
alchemists of the middle ages1 she finds
 in the crucible of experience only the 
gold that she herself has poured into   
it4         99       99       99        
99       99  ,february #a1 #aheb4       
7,sunday74--,passed the afternoon in    
reading the ,monologues of              
,schleiermacher4 ,this little book made 

an impression on me almost as deep as it
 did twelve years ago1 when ,i read it  
for the first time4 ,it replunged me    
into the inner world1 to which ,i return
 with joy whenever ,i may have forsaken 
it4 ,i was able besides1 to measure my  
progress since then by the transparency 
of all the thoughts to me1 and by the   
freedom with which ,i entered into and  
judged the point of view4  ,it is great1
 powerful1 profound1 but there is still 
pride in it1 and even selfishness4 ,for 
the center of the universe is still the 
self1 the great ,ich of ,fichte4 ,the   
tameless liberty1 the divine dignity of 
the individual spirit1 expanding till it
 admits neither any limit nor anything  
foreign to itself1 and conscious of a   
strength instinct with creative force1  
such is the point of view of the        
,monologues4  ,the inner life in its    
enfranchisement from time1 in its double
 end1 the realization of the species and
 of the individuality1 in its proud     
dominion over all hostile circumstances1

 in its prophetic certainty of the      
future1 in its immortal youth1 such is  
their theme4 ,through them we are       
enabled to enter into a life of         
monumental interest1 wholly original and
 beyond the influence of anything       
exterior1 an astonishing example of the 
autonomy of the ego1 an imposing type of
 character1 ,zeno and ,fichte in one4   
,but still the motive power of this life
 is not religious2 it is rather moral   
and philosophic4 ,i see in it not so    
much a magnificent model to imitate as a
 precious subject of study4 ,this ideal 
of a liberty1 absolute1 indefeasible1   
inviolable1 respecting itself above all1
 disdaining the visible and the         
universe1 and developing itself after   
its own laws alone1 is also the ideal of
 ,emerson1 the stoic of a young         
,america4 ,according to it1 man finds   
his joy in himself1 and1 safe in the    
inaccessible sanctuary1 of his personal 
consciousness1 becomes almost a god4    
,footnote3 ,compare ,clough's lines3    

8,where are the great1 whom thou        
would'st wish to praise thee8   ,where  
are the pure1 whom thou would'st choose 
to love thee8   ,where are the brave1 to
 stand supreme above thee8   ,whose high
 commands would cheer1 whose chidings   
raise thee8   ,seek1 seeker1 in thyself2
 submit to find   ,in the stones1 bread1
 and life in the blank mind40  ,he is   
himself principle1 motive1 and end of   
his own destiny2 he is himself1 and that
 is enough for him4 ,this superb triumph
 of life is not far from being a sort of
 impiety1 or at least a displacement of 
adoration4 ,by the mere fact that it    
does away with humility1 such a         
superhuman point of view becomes        
dangerous2 it is the very temptation to 
which the first man succumbed1 that of  
becoming his own master by becoming like
 unto the ,elohim4 ,here then the       
heroism of the philosopher approaches   
temerity1 and the ,monologues are       
therefore open to three reproaches3     
,ontologically1 the position of man in  

the spiritual universe is wrongly       
indicated2 the individual soul1 not     
being unique and not springing from     
itself1 can it be conceived without     
,god8 ,psychologically1 the force of    
spontaneity in the ego is allowed a     
dominion too exclusive of any other4 ,as
 a fact1 it is not everything in man4   
,morally1 evil is scarcely named1 and   
conflict1 the condition of true peace1  
is left out of count4 ,so that the peace
 described in the ,monologues is neither
 a conquest by man nor a grace from     
heaven2 it is rather a stroke of good   
fortune4  ,february #b;d4--,still the   
,monologues4 ,critically ,i defended    
myself enough against them yesterday2 ,i
 may abandon myself now1 without scruple
 and without danger1 to the admiration  
and the sympathy with which they inspire
 me4 ,this life so proudly independent1 
this sovereign conception of human      
dignity1 this actual possession of the  
universe and the infinite1 this perfect 
emancipation from all which passes1 this

 calm sense of strength and superiority1
 this invincible energy of will1 this   
infallible clearness of self-vision1    
this autocracy of the consciousness     
which is its own master1 all these      
decisive marks of a royal personality of
 a nature ,olympian1 profound1 complete1
 harmonious1 penetrate the mind with joy
 and heart with gratitude4 ,what a life6
 what a man6 ,these glimpses into the   
inner regions of a great soul do one    
good4 ,contact of this kind strengthens1
 restores1 refreshes4 ,courage returns  
as we gaze2 when we see what has been1  
we doubt no more that it can be again4  
,at the sight of a man we too say to    
ourselves1 let us also be men4  ,march  
#c1 #aheb4--,opinion has its value and  
even its power3 to have it against us is
 painful when we are among friends1 and 
harmful in the case of the outer world4 
,we should neither flatter opinion nor  
court it2 but it is better1 if we can   
help it1 not to throw it on to a false  
scent4 ,the first error is a meanness2  

the second an imprudence4 ,we should be 
ashamed of the one2 we may regret the   
other4 ,look to yourself2 you are much  
given to this last fault1 and it has    
already done you great harm4 ,be ready  
to bend your pride2 abase yourself even 
so far as to show yourself ready and    
clever like others4 ,this world of      
skillful egotisms and active ambitions1 
this world of men1 in which one must    
deceive by smiles1 conduct1 and silence 
as much as by actual words1 a world     
revolting to the proud and upright soul1
 it is our business to learn to live in 
it6 ,success is required in it3 succeed4
 ,only force is recognized there3 be    
strong4 ,opinion seeks to impose her law
 upon all1 instead of setting her at    
defiance1 it would be better to struggle
 with her and conquer4444 ,i understand 
the indignation of contempt1 and the    
wish to crush1 roused irresistibly by   
all that creeps1 all that is tortuous1  
oblique1 ignoble4444 ,but ,i cannot     
maintain such a mood1 which is a mood of

 vengeance1 for long4 ,this world is a  
world of men1 and these men are our     
brothers4 ,we must not banish from us   
the divine breath1 we must love4 ,evil  
must be conquered by good2 and before   
all things one must keep a pure         
conscience4 ,prudence may be preached   
from this point of view too4 8,be ye    
simple as the dove and prudent as the   
serpent10 are the words of ,jesus4 ,be  
careful of your reputation1 not through 
vanity1 but that you may not harm your  
life's work1 and out of love for truth4 
,there is still something of            
self-seeking in the refined             
disinterestedness which will not justify
 itself1 that it may feel itself        
superior to opinion4 ,it requires       
ability1 to make what we seem agree with
 what we are1 and humility1 to feel that
 we are no great things4  ,there1 thanks
 to this journal1 my excitement has     
passed away4 ,i have just read the last 
book of it through again1 and the       
morning has passed by4 ,on the way ,i   

have been conscious of a certain amount 
of monotony4 ,it does not signify6      
,these pages are not written to be read2
 they are written for my own consolation
 and warning4 ,they are landmarks in my 
past2 and some of the landmarks are     
funeral crosses1 stone pyramids1        
withered stalks grown green again1 white
 pebbles1 coins--all of them helpful    
toward finding one's way again through  
the ,elysian fields of the soul4 ,the   
pilgrim has marked his stages in it2 he 
is able to trace by it his thoughts1 his
 tears1 his joys4 ,this is my traveling 
diary3 if some passages from it may be  
useful to others1 and if sometimes even 
,i have communicated such passages to   
the public1 these thousand pages as a   
whole are only of value to me and to    
those who1 after me1 may take some      
interest in the itinerary of an         
obscurely conditioned soul1 far from the
 world's noise and fame4 ,these sheets  
will be monotonous when my life is so2  
they will repeat themselves when        

feelings repeat themselves2 truth at any
 rate will be always there1 and truth is
 their only muse1 their only pretext1   
their only duty4  ,april #b1            
#aheb4--,what a lovely walk6 ,sky clear1
 sun rising1 all the tints bright1 all  
the outlines sharp1 save for the soft   
and misty infinite of the lake4 ,a pinch
 of white frost1 powdered the fields1   
lending a metallic relief to the hedges 
of green box1 and to the whole          
landscape1 still without leaves1 an air 
of health and vigor1 of youth and       
freshness4 8,bathe1 ,o disciple1 thy    
thirsty soul in the dew of the dawn60   
says ,faust1 to us1 and he is right4    
,the morning air breathes a new and     
laughing energy into veins and marrow4  
,if every day is a repetition of life1  
every dawn gives signs as it were a new 
contract with existence4 ,at dawn       
everything is fresh1 light1 simple1 as  
it is for children4 ,at dawn spiritual  
truth1 like the atmosphere1 is more     
transparent1 and our organs1 like the   

young leaves1 drink in the light more   
eagerly1 breathe in more ether1 and less
 of things earthly4 ,if night and the   
starry sky speak to the meditative soul 
of ,god1 of eternity and the infinite1  
the dawn is the time for projects1 for  
resolutions1 for the birth of action4   
,while the silence and the 8sad serenity
 of the azure vault10 incline the soul  
to self-recollection1 the vigor and     
gayety of nature spread into the heart  
and make it eager for life and living4  
,spring is upon us4 ,primroses and      
violets have already hailed her coming4 
,rash blooms are showing on the peach   
trees2 the swollen buds of the pear     
trees and the lilacs point to the       
blossoming that is to be2 the           
honeysuckles are already green4  ,april 
#bf1 #aheb4--,this evening a feeling of 
emptiness took possession of me2 and the
 solemn ideas of duty1 the future1      
solitude1 pressed themselves upon me4 ,i
 gave myself to meditation1 a very      
necessary defense against the dispersion

 and distraction brought about by the   
day's work and its detail4 ,read a part 
of ,krause's book 8,urbild der          
,menschheit0 ,footnote3 ,christian      
,frederick ,krause1 died #ahcb1 ,hegel's
 younger contemporary1 and the author of
 a system which he called               
panentheism--,amiel alludes to it later 
on4 which answered marvelously to my    
thought and my need4 ,this philosopher  
has always a beneficent effect upon me2 
his sweet religious serenity gains upon 
me and invades me4 ,he inspires me with 
a sense of peace and infinity4  ,still  
,i miss something1 common worship1 a    
positive religion1 shared with other    
people4 ,ah6 when will the church to    
which ,i belong in heart rise into      
being8 ,i cannot like ,scherer1 content 
myself with being in the right all      
alone4 ,i must have a less solitary     
,christianity4 ,my religious needs are  
not satisfied any more than my social   
needs1 or my needs of affection4        
,generally ,i am able to forget them and

 lull them to sleep4 ,but at times they 
wake up with a sort of painful          
bitterness 444 ,i waver between languor 
and ennui1 between frittering myself    
away on the infinitely little1 and      
longing after what is unknown and       
distant4 ,it is like the situation which
 ,french novelists are so fond of1 the  
story of a vie de province2 only the    
province is all that is not the country 
of the soul1 every place where the heart
 feels itself strange1 dissatisfied1    
restless and thirsty4 ,alas6 well       
understood1 this place is the earth1    
this country of one's dreams is heaven1 
and this suffering is the eternal       
homesickness1 the thirst for happiness4 
8,in der ,beschrnkung zeigt sich erst   
der ,meister10 says ,goethe4 ,mle       
rsignation1 this also is the motto of   
those who are masters of the art of     
life2 8manly10 that is to say1          
courageous1 active1 resolute1           
persevering1 8resignation10 that is to  
say1 self-sacrifice1 renunciation1      

limitation4 ,energy in resignation1     
there lies the wisdom of the sons of    
earth1 the only serenity possible in    
this life of struggle and of combat4 ,in
 it is the peace of martyrdom1 in it too
 the promise of triumph4  ,april #bh1   
#aheb4 7,lancy47 ,footnote3 ,a village  
near ,geneva4--,once more ,i feel the   
spring languor creeping over me1 the    
spring air about me4 ,this morning the  
poetry of the scene1 the song of the    
birds1 the tranquil sunlight1 the breeze
 blowing over the fresh green fields1   
all rose into and filled my heart4 ,now 
all is silent4 ,o silence1 thou art     
terrible6 terrible as that calm of the  
ocean which lets the eye penetrate the  
fathomless abysses below4 ,thou showest 
us in ourselves depths which make us    
giddy1 inextinguishable needs1 treasures
 of suffering4 ,welcome tempests6 at    
least they blur and trouble the surface 
of these waters with their terrible     
secrets4 ,welcome the passion blasts    
which stir the wares of the soul1 and so

 veil from us its bottomless gulfs6 ,in 
all of us1 children of dust1 sons of    
time1 eternity inspires an involuntary  
anguish1 and the infinite1 a mysterious 
terror4 ,we seem to be entering a       
kingdom of the dead4 ,poor heart1 thy   
craving is for life1 for love1 for      
illusions6 ,and thou art right after    
all1 for life is sacred4  ,in these     
moments of tte--tte with the infinite1  
how different life looks6 ,how all that 
usually occupies and excites us becomes 
suddenly puerile1 frivolous and vain4   
,we seem to ourselves mere puppets1     
marionettes1 strutting seriously through
 a fantastic show1 and mistaking gewgaws
 for things of great price4 ,at such    
moments1 how everything becomes         
transformed1 how everything changes6    
,berkeley and ,fichte seem right1       
,emerson too2 the world is but an       
allegory2 the idea is more real than the
 fact2 fairy tales1 legends1 are as true
 as natural history1 and even more true1
 for they are emblems of greater        

transparency4 ,the only substance       
properly so called is the soul4 ,what is
 all the rest8 ,mere shadow1 pretext1   
figure1 symbol1 or dream4 ,consciousness
 alone is immortal1 positive1 perfectly 
real4 ,the world is but a firework1 a   
sublime phantasmagoria1 destined to     
cheer and form the soul4 ,consciousness 
is a universe1 and its sun is love4444  
,already ,i am falling back into the    
objective life of thought4 ,it delivers 
me from--shall ,i say8 no1 it deprives  
me of the intimate life of feeling4     
,reflection solves reverie and burns her
 delicate wings4 ,this is why science   
does not make men1 but merely entities  
and abstractions4 ,ah1 let us feel and  
live and beware of too much analysis6   
,let us put spontaneity1 navet1 before  
reflection1 experience before study2 let
 us make life itself our study4 ,shall  
,i then never have the heart of a woman 
to rest upon8 a son in whom to live     
again1 a little world where ,i may see  
flowering and blooming all that is      

stifled in me8 ,i shrink and draw back1 
for fear of breaking my dream4 ,i have  
staked so much on this card that ,i dare
 not play it4 ,let me dream again4444   
,do no violence to yourself1 respect in 
yourself the oscillations of feeling4   
,they are your life and your nature2    
,one wiser than you ordained them4 ,do  
not abandon yourself altogether either  
to instinct or to will4 ,instinct is a  
siren1 will a despot4 ,be neither the   
slave of your impulses and sensations of
 the moment1 nor of an abstract and     
general plan2 be open to what life      
brings from within and without1 and     
welcome the unforeseen2 but give to your
 life unity1 and bring the unforeseen   
within the lines of your plan4 ,let what
 is natural in you raise itself to the  
level of the spiritual1 and let the     
spiritual become once more natural4     
,thus will your development be          
harmonious1 and the peace of heaven will
 shine upon your brow2 always on        
condition that your peace is made1 and  

that you have climbed your ,calvary4    
,afternoon--,shall ,i ever enjoy again  
those marvelous reveries of past days1  
as1 for instance1 once1 when ,i was     
still quite a youth1 in the early dawn1 
sitting among the ruins of the castle of
 ,faucigny2 another time in the         
mountains above ,lavey1 under the midday
 sun1 lying under a tree and visited by 
three butterflies2 and again another    
night on the sandy shore of the ,north  
,sea1 stretched full length upon the    
beach1 my eyes wandering over the ,milky
 ,way8 ,will they ever return to me1    
those grandiose1 immortal1 cosmogonic   
dreams1 in which one seems to carry the 
world in one's breast1 to touch the     
stars1 to possess the infinite8 ,divine 
moments1 hours of ecstasy1 when thought 
flies from world to world1 penetrates   
the great enigma1 breathes with a       
respiration large1 tranquil1 and        
profound1 like that of the ocean1 and   
hovers serene and boundless like the    
blue heaven6 ,visits from the muse1     

,urania1 who traces around the foreheads
 of those she loves the phosphorescent  
nimbus of contemplative power1 and who  
pours into their hearts the tranquil    
intoxication1 if not the authority of   
genius1 moments of irresistible         
intuition in which a man feels himself  
great like the universe and calm like a 
god6 ,from the celestial spheres down to
 the shell or the moss1 the whole of    
creation is then submitted to our gaze1 
lives in our breast1 and accomplishes in
 us its eternal work with the regularity
 of destiny and the passionate ardor of 
love4 ,what hours1 what memories6 ,the  
traces which remain to us of them are   
enough to fill us with respect and      
enthusiasm1 as though they had been     
visits of the ,holy ,spirit4 ,and then1 
to fall back again from these heights   
with their boundless horizons into the  
muddy ruts of triviality6 what a fall6  
,poor ,moses6 ,thou too sawest          
undulating in the distance the ravishing
 hills of the promised land1 and it was 

thy fate nevertheless to lay thy weary  
bones in a grave dug in the desert6     
,which of us has not his promised land1 
his day of ecstasy and his death in     
exile8 ,what a pale counterfeit is real 
life of the life we see in glimpses1 and
 how these flaming lightnings of our    
prophetic youth make the twilight of our
 dull monotonous manhood more dark and  
dreary6  ,april #bi 7,lancy74--,this    
morning the air was calm1 the sky       
slightly veiled4 ,i went out into the   
garden to see what progress the spring  
was making4 ,i strolled from the irises 
to the lilacs1 round the flower-beds1   
and in the shrubberies4 ,delightful     
surprise6 at the corner of the walk1    
half hidden under a thick clump of      
shrubs1 a small leaved chorchorus had   
flowered during the night4 ,gay and     
fresh as a bunch of bridal flowers1 the 
little shrub glittered before me in all 
the attraction of its opening beauty4   
,what springlike innocence1 what soft   
and modest loveliness1 there was in     

these white corollas1 opening gently to 
the sun1 like thoughts which smile upon 
us at waking1 and perched upon their    
young leaves of virginal green like bees
 upon the wing6 ,mother of marvels1     
mysterious and tender nature1 why do we 
not live more in thee8 ,the poetical    
flneurs of ,tpffer1 his ,charles and    
,jules1 the friends and passionate      
lovers of thy secret graces1 the dazzled
 and ravished beholders of thy beauties1
 rose up in my memory1 at once a        
reproach and a lesson4 ,a modest garden 
and a country rectory1 the narrow       
horizon of a garret1 contain for those  
who know how to look and to wait more   
instruction than a library1 even than   
that of ,mon oncle4 ,footnote3 ,the     
allusions in this passage are to        
,tpffer's best known books--8,la        
,presbytre0 and 8,la ,bibliothque de mon
 ,oncle10 that airy chronicle of a      
hundred romantic or vivacious nothings  
which has the young student ,jules for  
its center4 ,yes1 we are too busy1 too  

encumbered1 too much occupied1 too      
active6 ,we read too much6 ,the one     
thing needful is to throw off all one's 
load of cares1 of preoccupations1 of    
pedantry1 and to become again young1    
simple1 child-like1 living happily and  
gratefully in the present hour4 ,we must
 know how to put occupation aside1 which
 does not mean that we must be idle4 ,in
 an inaction which is meditative and    
attentive the wrinkles of the soul are  
smoothed away1 and the soul itself      
spreads1 unfolds1 and springs afresh1   
and1 like the trodden grass of the      
roadside or the bruised leaf of a plant1
 repairs its injuries1 becomes new1     
spontaneous1 true1 and original4        
,reverie1 like the rain of night1       
restores color and force to thoughts    
which have been blanched and wearied by 
the heat of the day4 ,with gentle       
fertilizing power it awakens within us a
 thousand sleeping germs1 and as though 
in play1 gathers round us materials for 
the future1 and images for the use of   

talent4 ,reverie is the ,sunday of      
thought2 and who knows which is the more
 important and fruitful for man1 the    
laborious tension of the week1 or the   
life-giving repose of the ,sabbath8 ,the
 flnerie so exquisitely glorified and   
sung by ,tpffer is not only delicious1  
but useful4 ,it is like a bath which    
gives vigor and suppleness to the whole 
being1 to the mind as to the body2 it is
 the sign and festival of liberty1 a    
joyous and wholesome banquet1 the       
banquet of the butterfly wandering from 
flower to flower over the hills and in  
the fields4 ,and remember1 the soul too 
is a butterfly4  ,may #b1 #aheb4        
7,sunday7 ,lancy4--,this morning read   
the epistle of ,st4 ,james1 the         
exegetical volume of ,cellrier          
,footnote3 ,jacob-lyse ,cellrier1       
professor of theology at the ,academy of
 ,geneva1 and son of the pastor of      
,satigny mentioned in ,madame de ,stal's
 8,l',allemagne40 on this epistle1 and a
 great deal of ,pascal1 after having    

first of all passed more than an hour in
 the garden with the children4 ,i made  
them closely examine the flowers1 the   
shrubs1 the grasshoppers1 the snails1 in
 order to practice them in observation1 
in wonder1 in kindness4  ,how enormously
 important are these first conversations
 of childhood6 ,i felt it this morning  
with a sort of religious terror4        
,innocence and childhood are sacred4    
,the sower who casts in the seed1 the   
father or mother casting in the fruitful
 word are accomplishing a pontifical act
 and ought to perform it with religious 
awe1 with prayer and gravity1 for they  
are laboring at the kingdom of ,god4    
,all seed-sowing is a mysterious thing1 
whether the seed fall into the earth or 
into souls4 ,man is a husbandman2 his   
whole work rightly understood is to     
develop life1 to sow it everywhere4     
,such is the mission of humanity1 and of
 this divine mission the great          
instrument is speech4 ,we forget too    
often that language is both a           

seed-sowing and a revelation4 ,the      
influence of a word in season1 is it not
 incalculable8 ,what a mystery is       
speech6 ,but we are blind to it1 because
 we are carnal and earthy4 ,we see the  
stones and the trees by the road1 the   
furniture of our houses1 all that is    
palpable and material4 ,we have no eyes 
for the invisible phalanxes of ideas    
which people the air and hover          
incessantly around each one of us4      
,every life is a profession of faith1   
and exercises an inevitable and silent  
propaganda4 ,as far as lies in its      
power1 it tends to transform the        
universe and humanity into its own      
image4 ,thus we have all a cure of      
souls4 ,every man is the center of      
perpetual radiation like a luminous     
body2 he is1 as it were1 a beacon which 
entices a ship upon the rocks if it does
 not guide it into port4 ,every man is a
 priest1 even involuntarily2 his conduct
 is an unspoken sermon1 which is forever
 preaching to others2 but there are     

priests of ,baal1 of ,moloch1 and of all
 the false gods4 ,such is the high      
importance of example4 ,thence comes the
 terrible responsibility which weighs   
upon us all4 ,an evil example is a      
spiritual poison3 it is the proclamation
 of a sacrilegious faith1 of an impure  
,god4 ,sin would be only an evil for him
 who commits it1 were it not a crime    
toward the weak brethren1 whom it       
corrupts4 ,therefore1 it has been said3 
8,it were better for a man not to have  
been born than to offend one of these   
little ones40  ,may #f1 #aheb4--;,it is 
women who1 like mountain flowers1 mark  
with most characteristic precision the  
gradation of social zones4 ,the         
hierarchy of classes is plainly visible 
among them2 it is blurred in the other  
sex4 ,with women this hierarchy has the 
average regularity of nature2 among men 
we see it broken by the incalculable    
varieties of human freedom4 ,the reason 
is that the man on the whole1 makes     
himself by his own activity1 and that   

the woman1 is1 on the whole1 made by her
 situation2 that the one modifies and   
shapes circumstance by his own energy1  
while the gentleness of the other is    
dominated by and reflects circumstance2 
so that woman1 so to speak1 inclines to 
be species1 and man to be individual4   
,thus1 which is curious1 women are at   
once the sex which is most constant and 
most variable4 ,most constant from the  
moral point of view1 most variable from 
the social4 ,a confraternity in the     
first case1 a hierarchy in the second4  
,all degrees of culture and all         
conditions of society are clearly marked
 in their outward appearance1 their     
manners and their tastes2 but the inward
 fraternity is traceable in their       
feelings1 their instincts1 and their    
desires4 ,the feminine sex represents at
 the same time natural and historical   
inequality2 it maintains the unity of   
the species and marks off the categories
 of society1 it brings together and     
divides1 it gathers and separates1 it   

makes castes and breaks through them1   
according as it interprets its twofold  
rle in the one sense or the other4 ,at  
bottom1 woman's mission is essentially  
conservative1 but she is a conservative 
without discrimination4 ,on the one     
side1 she maintains ,god's work in man1 
all that is lasting1 noble1 and truly   
human1 in the race1 poetry1 religion1   
virtue1 tenderness4 ,on the other1 she  
maintains the results of circumstance1  
all that is passing1 local1 and         
artificial in society2 that is to say1  
customs1 absurdities1 prejudices1       
littlenesses4 ,she surrounds with the   
same respectful and tenacious faith the 
serious and the frivolous1 the good and 
the bad4 ,well1 what then8 ,isolate if  
you can1 the fire from its smoke4 ,it is
 a divine law that you are tracing1 and 
therefore good4 ,the woman preserves2   
she is tradition as the man is progress4
 ,and if there is no family and no      
humanity without the two sexes1 without 
these two forces there is no history4   

,may #ad1 #aheb4 7,lancy47--,yesterday  
,i was full of the philosophy of joy1 of
 youth1 of the spring1 which smiles and 
the roses which intoxicate2 ,i preached 
the doctrine of strength1 and ,i forgot 
that1 tried and afflicted like the two  
friends with whom ,i was walking1 ,i    
should probably have reasoned and felt  
as they did4  ,our systems1 it has been 
said1 are the expression of our         
character1 or the theory of our         
situation1 that is to say1 we like to   
think of what has been given as having  
been acquired1 we take our nature for   
our own work1 and our lot in life for   
our own conquest1 an illusion born of   
vanity and also of the craving for      
liberty4 ,we are unwilling to be the    
product of circumstances1 or the mere   
expansion of an inner germ4 ,and yet we 
have received everything1 and the part  
which is really ours1 is small indeed1  
for it is mostly made up of negation1   
resistance1 faults4 ,we receive         
everything1 both life and happiness2 but

 the manner in which we receive1 this is
 what is still ours4 ,let us then1      
receive trustfully without shame or     
anxiety4 ,let us humbly accept from ,god
 even our own nature1 and treat it      
charitably1 firmly1 intelligently4 ,not 
that we are called upon to accept the   
evil and the disease in us1 but let us  
accept ourselves in spite of the evil   
and the disease4 ,and let us never be   
afraid of innocent joy2 ,god is good1   
and what ,he does is well done2 resign  
yourself to everything1 even to         
happiness2 ask for the spirit of        
sacrifice1 of detachment1 of            
renunciation1 and above all1 for the    
spirit of joy and gratitude1 that       
genuine and religious optimism which    
sees in ,god a father1 and asks no      
pardon for ,his benefits4 ,we must dare 
to be happy1 and dare to confess it1    
regarding ourselves always as the       
depositaries1 not as the authors of our 
own joy4         99       99       99   
99       99  444 ,this evening ,i saw   

the first glow-worm of the season in the
 turf beside the little winding road    
which descends from ,lancy toward the   
town4 ,it was crawling furtively under  
the grass1 like a timid thought or a    
dawning talent4  ,june #ag1             
#aheb4--;,every despotism has a         
specially keen and hostile instinct for 
whatever keeps up human dignity1 and    
independence4 ,and it is curious to see 
scientific and realist teaching used    
everywhere as a means of stifling all   
freedom of investigation as addressed to
 moral questions under a dead weight of 
facts4 ,materialism is the auxiliary    
doctrine of every tyranny1 whether of   
the one or of the masses4 ,to crush what
 is spiritual1 moral1 human so to speak1
 in man1 by specializing him2 to form   
mere wheels of the great social machine1
 instead of perfect individuals2 to make
 society and not conscience the center  
of life1 to enslave the soul to things1 
to de-personalize man1 this is the      
dominant drift of our epoch4 ,everywhere

 you may see a tendency to substitute   
the laws of dead matter 7number1 mass7  
for the laws of the moral nature        
7persuasion1 adhesion1 faith7 equality1 
the principle of mediocrity1 becoming a 
dogma2 unity aimed at through           
uniformity2 numbers doing duty for      
argument2 negative liberty1 which has no
 law in itself1 and recognizes no limit 
except in force1 everywhere taking the  
place of positive liberty1 which means  
action guided by an inner law and curbed
 by a moral authority4 ,socialism versus
 individualism3 this is how ,vinet put  
the dilemma4 ,i should say rather that  
it is only the eternal antagonism       
between letter and spirit1 between form 
and matter1 between the outward and the 
inward1 appearance and reality1 which is
 always present in every conception and 
in all ideas4  ,materialism coarsens and
 petrifies everything2 makes everything 
vulgar and every truth false4 ,and there
 is a religious and political           
materialism which spoils all that it    

touches1 liberty1 equality1             
individuality4 ,so that there are two   
ways of understanding democracy4444     
,what is threatened to-day is moral     
liberty1 conscience1 respect for the    
soul1 the very nobility of man4 ,to     
defend the soul1 its interests1 its     
rights1 its dignity1 is the most        
pressing duty for whoever sees the      
danger4 ,what the writer1 the teacher1  
the pastor1 the philosopher1 has to do1 
is to defend humanity in man4 ,man6 the 
true man1 the ideal man6 ,such should be
 their motto1 their rallying cry4 ,war  
to all that debases1 diminishes1        
hinders1 and degrades him2 protection   
for all that fortifies1 ennobles1 and   
raises him4 ,the test of every          
religious1 political1 or educational    
system1 is the man which it forms4 ,if a
 system injures the intelligence it is  
bad4 ,if it injures the character it is 
vicious4 ,if it injures the conscience  
it is criminal4  ,august #ab1 #aheb4    
7,lancy47--,each sphere of being tends  

toward a higher sphere1 and has already 
revelations and presentiments of it4    
,the ideal under all its forms is the   
anticipation and the prophetic vision of
 that existence1 higher than his own1   
toward which every being perpetually    
aspires4 ,and this higher and more      
dignified existence is more inward in   
character1 that is to say1 more         
spiritual4 ,just as volcanoes reveal to 
us the secrets of the interior of the   
globe1 so enthusiasm and ecstasy are the
 passing explosions of this inner world 
of the soul2 and human life is but the  
preparation and the means of approach to
 this spiritual life4 ,the degrees of   
initiation are innumerable4 ,watch1     
then1 disciple of life1 watch and labor 
toward the development of the angel     
within thee6 ,for the divine ,odyssey is
 but a series of more and more ethereal 
metamorphoses1 in which each form1 the  
result of what goes before1 is the      
condition of those which follow4 ,the   
divine life is a series of successive   

deaths1 in which the mind throws off its
 imperfections and its symbols1 and     
yields to the growing attraction of the 
ineffable center of gravitation1 the sun
 of intelligence and love4 ,created     
spirits in the accomplishment of their  
destinies tend1 so to speak1 to form    
constellations and milky ways within the
 empyrean of the divinity2 in becoming  
gods1 they surround the throne of the   
sovereign with a sparkling court4 ,in   
their greatness lies their homage4 ,the 
divinity with which they are invested is
 the noblest glory of ,god4 ,god is the 
father of spirits1 and the constitution 
of the eternal kingdom rests on the     
vassalship of love4  ,september #bg1    
#aheb4 7,lancy47--,to-day ,i complete my
 thirty-first year4444  ,the most       
beautiful poem there is1 is life--life  
which discerns its own story in the     
making1 in which inspiration and        
self-consciousness go together and help 
each other1 life which knows itself to  
be the world in little1 a repetition in 

miniature of the divine universal poem4 
,yes1 be man2 that is to say1 be nature1
 be spirit1 be the image of ,god1 be    
what is greatest1 most beautiful1 most  
lofty in all the spheres of being1 be   
infinite will and idea1 a reproduction  
of the great whole4 ,and be everything  
while being nothing1 effacing thyself1  
letting ,god enter into thee as the air 
enters an empty space1 reducing the ego 
to the mere vessel which contains the   
divine essence4 ,be humble1 devout1     
silent1 that so thou mayest hear within 
the depths of thyself the subtle and    
profound voice2 be spiritual and pure1  
that so thou mayest have communion with 
the pure spirit4 ,withdraw thyself often
 into the sanctuary of thy inmost       
consciousness2 become once more point   
and atom1 that so thou mayest free      
thyself from space1 time1 matter1       
temptation1 dispersion1 that thou mayest
 escape thy very organs themselves and  
thine own life4 ,that is to say1 die    
often1 and examine thyself in the       

presence of this death1 as a preparation
 for the last death4 ,he who can without
 shuddering confront blindness1         
deafness1 paralysis1 disease1 betrayal1 
poverty2 he who can without terror      
appear before the sovereign justice1 he 
alone can call himself prepared for     
partial or total death4 ,how far am ,i  
from anything of the sort1 how far is my
 heart from any such stoicism6 ,but at  
least we can try to detach ourselves    
from all that can be taken away from us1
 to accept everything as a loan and a   
gift1 and to cling only to the          
imperishable--this at any rate we can   
attempt4 ,to believe in a good and      
fatherly ,god1 who educates us1 who     
tempers the wind to the shorn lamb1 who 
punishes only when he must1 and takes   
away only with regret2 this thought1 or 
rather this conviction1 gives courage   
and security4 ,oh1 what need we have of 
love1 of tenderness1 of affection1 of   
kindness1 and how vulnerable we are1 we 
the sons of ,god1 we1 immortal and      

sovereign beings6 ,strong as the        
universe or feeble as the worm1         
according as we represent ,god or only  
ourselves1 as we lean upon infinite     
being1 or as we stand alone4  ,the point
 of view of religion1 of a religion at  
once active and moral1 spiritual and    
profound1 alone gives to life all the   
dignity and all the energy of which it  
is capable4 ,religion makes invulnerable
 and invincible4 ,earth can only be     
conquered in the name of heaven4 ,all   
good things are given over and above to 
him who desires but righteousness4 ,to  
be disinterested is to be strong1 and   
the world is at the feet of him whom it 
cannot tempt4 ,why8 ,because spirit is  
lord of matter1 and the world belongs to
 ,god4 8,be of good cheer10 saith a     
heavenly voice1 8,i have overcome the   
world40  ,lord1 lend thy strength to    
those who are weak in the flesh1 but    
willing in the spirit6  ,october #ca1   
#aheb4 7,lancy47--,walked for half an   
hour in the garden4 ,a fine rain was    

falling1 and the landscape was that of  
autumn4 ,the sky was hung with various  
shades of gray1 and mists hovered about 
the distant mountains1 a melancholy     
nature4 ,the leaves were falling on all 
sides like the last illusions of youth  
under the tears of irremediable grief4  
,a brood of chattering birds were       
chasing each other through the          
,shrubberies1 and playing games among   
the branches1 like a knot of hiding     
schoolboys4 ,the ground strewn with     
leaves1 brown1 yellow1 and reddish2 the 
trees half-stripped1 some more1 some    
less1 and decked in ragged splendors of 
dark-red1 scarlet1 and yellow2 the      
reddening shrubs and plantations2 a few 
flowers still lingering behind1 roses1  
nasturtiums1 dahlias1 shedding their    
petals round them2 the bare fields1 the 
thinned hedges2 and the fir1 the only   
green thing left1 vigorous and stoical1 
like eternal youth braving decay2 all   
these innumerable and marvelous symbols 
which forms colors1 plants1 and living  

beings1 the earth and the sky1 yield at 
all times to the eye which has learned  
to look for them1 charmed and enthralled
 me4 ,i wielded a poetic wand1 and had  
but to touch a phenomenon to make it    
render up to me its moral significance4 
,every landscape is1 as it were1 a state
 of the soul1 and whoever penetrates    
into both is astonished to find how much
 likeness there is in each detail4 ,true
 poetry is truer than science1 because  
it is synthetic1 and seizes at once what
 the combination of all the sciences is 
able at most to attain as a final       
result4 ,the soul of nature is divined  
by the poet2 the man of science1 only   
serves to accumulate materials for its  
demonstration4  ,november #f1           
#aheb4--;,i am capable of all the       
passions1 for ,i bear them all within   
me4 ,like a tamer of wild beasts1 ,i    
keep them caged and lassoed1 but ,i     
sometimes hear them growling4 ,i have   
stifled more than one nascent love4     
,why8 ,because with that prophetic      

certainty which belongs to moral        
intuition1 ,i felt it lacking in true   
life1 and less durable than myself4 ,i  
choked it down in the name of the       
supreme affection to come4 ,the loves of
 sense1 of imagination1 of sentiment1 ,i
 have seen through and rejected them    
all2 ,i sought the love which springs   
from the central profundities of being4 
,and ,i still believe in it4 ,i will    
have none of those passions of straw    
which dazzle1 burn up1 and wither2 ,i   
invoke1 ,i await1 and ,i hope for the   
love which is great1 pure and earnest1  
which lives and works in all the fibres 
and through all the powers of the soul4 
,and even if ,i go lonely to the end1 ,i
 would rather my hope and my dream died 
with me1 than that my soul should       
content itself with any meaner union4   
,november #h1 #aheb4--,responsibility is
 my invisible nightmare4 ,to suffer     
through one's own fault is a torment    
worthy of the lost1 for so grief is     
envenomed by ridicule1 and the worst    

ridicule of all1 that which springs from
 shame of one's self4 ,i have only force
 and energy wherewith to meet evils     
coming from outside2 but an irreparable 
evil brought about by myself1 a         
renunciation for life of my liberty1 my 
peace of mind1 the very thought of it is
 maddening--,i expiate my privilege     
indeed4 ,my privilege is to be spectator
 of my life drama1 to be fully conscious
 of the tragi-comedy of my own destiny1 
and1 more than that1 to be in the secret
 of the tragi-comic itself1 that is to  
say1 to be unable to take my illusions  
seriously1 to see myself1 so to speak1  
from the theater on the stage1 or to be 
like a man looking from beyond the tomb 
into existence4 ,i feel myself forced to
 feign a particular interest in my      
individual part1 while all the time ,i  
am living in the confidence of the poet 
who is playing with all these agents    
which seem so important1 and knows all  
that they are ignorant of4 ,it is a     
strange position1 and one which becomes 

painful as soon as grief obliges me to  
betake myself once more to my own little
 rle1 binding me closely to it1 and     
warning me that ,i am going too far in  
imagining myself1 because of my         
conversations with the poet1 dispensed  
from taking up again my modest part of  
valet in the piece4 ,shakespeare must   
have experienced this feeling often1 and
 ,hamlet1 ,i think1 must express it     
somewhere4 ,it is a ,doppelgngerei1     
quite ,german in character1 and which   
explains the disgust with reality and   
the repugnance to public life1 so common
 among the thinkers of ,germany4 ,there 
is1 as it were1 a degradation a gnostic 
fall1 in thus folding one's wings and   
going back again into the vulgar shell  
of one's own individuality4 ,without    
grief1 which is the string of this      
venturesome kite1 man would soar too    
quickly and too high1 and the chosen    
souls would be lost for the race1 like  
balloons which1 save for gravitation1   
would never return from the empyrean4   

,how1 then1 is one to recover courage   
enough for action8 ,by striving to      
restore in one's self something of that 
unconsciousness1 spontaneity1 instinct1 
which reconciles us to earth and makes  
man useful and relatively happy4  ,by   
believing more practically in the       
providence which pardons and allows of  
reparation4  ,by accepting our human    
condition in a more simple and childlike
 spirit1 fearing trouble less1          
calculating less1 hoping more4 ,for we  
decrease our responsibility1 if we      
decrease our clearness of vision1 and   
fear lessens with the lessening of      
responsibility4  ,by extracting a richer
 experience out of our losses and       
lessons4  ,november #i1 #aheb4--;,a few 
pages of the ,chrestomathie ,franaise   
and ,vinet's remarkable letter at the   
head of the volume1 have given me one or
 two delightful hours4 ,as a thinker1 as
 a ,christian1 and as a man1 ,vinet     
occupies a typical place4 ,his          
philosophy1 his theology1 his esthetics1

 in short1 his work1 will be1 or has    
been already surpassed at all points4   
,his was a great soul and a fine talent4
 ,but neither were well enough served by
 circumstances4 ,we see in him a        
personality worthy of all veneration1 a 
man of singular goodness and a writer of
 distinction1 but not quite a great man1
 nor yet a great writer4 ,profundity and
 purity1 these are what he possesses in 
a high degree1 but not greatness1       
properly speaking4 ,for that1 he is a   
little too subtle and analytical1 too   
ingenious and fine-spun2 his thought is 
overladen with detail1 and has not      
enough flow1 eloquence1 imagination1    
warmth1 and largeness4 ,essentially and 
constantly meditative1 he has not       
strength enough left to deal with what  
is outside him4 ,the casuistries of     
conscience and of language1 eternal     
self-suspicion1 and self-examination1   
his talent lies in these things1 and is 
limited by them4 ,vinet wants passion1  
abundance1 entranement1 and therefore   

popularity4 ,the individualism which is 
his title to glory is also the cause of 
his weakness4  ,we find in him always   
the solitary and the ascetic4 ,his      
thought is1 as it were1 perpetually at  
church2 it is perpetually devising      
trials and penances for itself4 ,hence  
the air of scruple and anxiety which    
characterizes it even in its bolder     
flights4 ,moral energy1 balanced by a   
disquieting delicacy of fibre2 a fine   
organization marred1 so to speak1 by low
 health1 such is the impression it makes
 upon us4 ,is it reproach or praise to  
say of ,vinet's mind that it seems to   
one a force perpetually reacting upon   
itself8 ,a warmer and more              
self-forgetful manner2 more muscles1 as 
it were1 around the nerves1 more circles
 of intellectual and historical life    
around the individual circle1 these are 
what ,vinet1 of all writers perhaps the 
one who makes us think most1 is still   
lacking in4 ,less reflexivity and more  
plasticity1 the eye more on the object1 

would raise the style of ,vinet1 so rich
 in substance1 so nervous1 so full of   
ideas1 and variety1 into a grand style4 
,vinet1 to sum up1 is conscience        
personified1 as man and as writer4      
,happy the literature and the society   
which is able to count at one time two  
or three like him1 if not equal to him6 
,november #aj1 #aheb4--;,how much have  
we not to learn from the ,greeks1 those 
immortal ancestors of ours6 ,and how    
much better they solved their problem   
than we have solved ours4 ,their ideal  
man is not ours1 but they understood    
infinitely better than we how to        
reverence1 cultivate and ennoble the man
 whom they knew4 ,in a thousand respects
 we are still barbarians beside them1 as
 ,branger said to me with a sigh in     
#ahdc3 barbarians in education1 in      
eloquence1 in public life1 in poetry1 in
 matters of art1 etc4 ,we must have     
millions of men in order to produce a   
few elect spirits3 a thousand was enough
 in ,greece4 ,if the measure of a       

civilization is to be the number of     
perfected men that it produces1 we are  
still far from this model people4 ,the  
slaves are no longer below us1 but they 
are among us4 ,barbarism is no longer at
 our frontiers2 it lives side by side   
with us4 ,we carry within us much       
greater things than they1 but we        
ourselves are smaller4 ,it is a strange 
result4 ,objective civilization produced
 great men while making no conscious    
effort toward such a result2 subjective 
civilization produces a miserable and   
imperfect race1 contrary to its mission 
and its earnest desire4 ,the world grows
 more majestic but man diminishes4 ,why 
is this8  ,we have too much barbarian   
blood in our veins1 and we lack measure1
 harmony and grace4 ,christianity1 in   
breaking man up into outer and inner1   
the world into earth and heaven1 hell   
and paradise1 has decomposed the human  
unity1 in order1 it is true1 to         
reconstruct it more profoundly and more 
truly4 ,but ,christianity has not yet   

digested this powerful leaven4 ,she has 
not yet conquered the true humanity2 she
 is still living under the antimony of  
sin and grace1 of here below and there  
above4 ,she has not penetrated into the 
whole heart of ,jesus4 ,she is still in 
the narthex of penitence2 she is not    
reconciled1 and even the churches still 
wear the livery of service1 and have    
none of the joy of the daughters of     
,god1 baptized of the ,holy ,spirit4    
,then1 again1 there is our excessive    
division of labor2 our bad and foolish  
education which does not develop the    
whole man2 and the problem of poverty4  
,we have abolished slavery1 but without 
having solved the question of labor4 ,in
 law there are no more slaves1 in fact1 
there are many4 ,and while the majority 
of men are not free1 the free man1 in   
the true sense of the term can neither  
be conceived nor realized4 ,here are    
enough causes for our inferiority4      
,november #ab1 #aheb4--,st4 ,martin's   
summer is still lingering1 and the days 

all begin in mist4 ,i ran for a quarter 
of an hour round the garden to get some 
warmth and suppleness4 ,nothing could be
 lovelier than the last rosebuds1 or    
than the delicate gaufred edges of the  
strawberry leaves embroidered with      
hoar-frost1 while above them ,arachne's 
delicate webs hung swaying in the green 
branches of the pines1 little ball-rooms
 for the fairies carpeted with powdered 
pearls and kept in place by a thousand  
dewy strands hanging from above like the
 chains of a lamp and supporting them   
from below like the anchors of a vessel4
 ,these little airy edifices had all the
 fantastic lightness of the elf-world   
and all the vaporous freshness of dawn4 
,they recalled to me the poetry of the  
north1 wafting to me a breath from      
,caledonia or ,iceland or ,sweden1      
,frithiof and the ,edda1 ,ossian and the
 ,hebrides4 ,all that world of cold and 
mist1 of genius and of reverie1 where   
warmth comes not from the sun but from  
the heart where man is more noticeable  

than nature--that chaste and vigorous   
world in which will plays a greater part
 than sensation and thought has more    
power than instinct--in short the whole 
romantic cycle of ,german and northern  
poetry1 awoke little by little in my    
memory and laid claim upon my sympathy4 
,it is a poetry of bracing quality1 and 
acts upon one like a moral tonic4       
,strange charm of imagination6 ,a twig  
of pine wood and a few spider-webs are  
enough to make countries1 epochs1 and   
nations live again before her4          
,december #bf1 #aheb4 7,sunday47--,if ,i
 reject many portions of our theology   
and of our church system1 it is that ,i 
may the better reach the ,christ        
himself4 ,my philosophy allows me this4 
,it does not state the dilemma as one of
 religion or philosophy1 but as one of  
religion accepted or experienced1       
understood or not understood4 ,for me   
philosophy is a manner of apprehending  
things1 a mode of perception of reality4
 ,it does not create nature1 man or     

,god1 but it finds them and seeks to    
understand them4 ,philosophy is         
consciousness taking account of itself  
with all that it contains4 ,now         
consciousness may contain a new         
life--the facts of regeneration and of  
salvation1 that is to say1 ,christian   
experience4 ,the understanding of the   
,christian consciousness is an integral 
part of philosophy1 as the ,christian   
consciousness is a leading form of      
religious consciousness1 and religious  
consciousness an essential form of      
consciousness4         99       99      
99       99       99  ,an error is the  
more dangerous in proportion to the     
degree of truth which it contains4      
,look twice1 if what you want is a just 
conception2 look once1 if what you want 
is a sense of beauty4         99        
99       99       99       99  ,a man   
only understands what is akin to        
something already existing in himself4  
99       99       99       99       99  
,common sense is the measure of the     

possible2 it is composed of experience  
and prevision2 it is calculation applied
 to life4         99       99       99  
99       99  ,the wealth of each mind is
 proportioned to the number and to the  
precision of its categories and its     
points of view4         99       99     
99       99       99  ,to feel himself  
freer than his neighbor is the reward of
 the critic4  ,modesty 7pudeur7 is      
always the sign and safeguard of a      
mystery4 ,it is explained by its        
contrary--profanation4 ,shyness or      
modesty is1 in truth1 the half-conscious
 sense of a secret of nature or of the  
soul too intimately individual to be    
given or surrendered4 ,it is exchanged4 
,to surrender what is most profound and 
mysterious in one's being and           
personality at any price less than that 
of absolute reciprocity is profanation4 
,january #f1 #ahec4--,self-government   
with tenderness--here you have the      
condition of all authority over         
children4 ,the child must discover in us

 no passion1 no weakness of which he can
 make use2 he must feel himself         
powerless to deceive or to trouble us2  
then he will recognize in us his natural
 superiors1 and he will attach a special
 value to our kindness1 because he will 
respect it4 ,the child who can rouse in 
us anger1 or impatience1 or excitement1 
feels himself stronger than we1 and a   
child only respects strength4 ,the      
mother should consider herself as her   
child's sun1 a changeless and ever      
radiant world1 whither the small        
restless creature1 quick at tears and   
laughter1 light1 fickle1 passionate1    
full of storms1 may come for fresh      
stores of light1 warmth1 and            
electricity1 of calm and of courage4    
,the mother represents goodness1        
providence1 law2 that is to say1 the    
divinity1 under that form of it which is
 accessible to childhood4 ,if she is    
herself passionate1 she will inculcate  
on her child a capricious and despotic  
,god1 or even several discordant gods4  

,the religion of a child depends on what
 its mother and its father are1 and not 
on what they say4 ,the inner and        
unconscious ideal which guides their    
life is precisely what touches the      
child2 their words1 their remonstrances1
 their punishments1 their bursts of     
feeling even1 are for him merely thunder
 and comedy2 what they worship1 this it 
is which his instinct divines and       
reflects4  ,the child sees what we are1 
behind what we wish to be4 ,hence his   
reputation as a physiognomist4 ,he      
extends his power as far as he can with 
each of us2 he is the most subtle of    
diplomatists4 ,unconsciously he passes  
under the influence of each person about
 him1 and reflects it while transforming
 it after his own nature4 ,he is a      
magnifying mirror4 ,this is why the     
first principle of education is3 train  
yourself2 and the first rule to follow  
if you wish to possess yourself of a    
child's will is3 master your own4       
,february #e1 #ahec 7seven o'clock in   

the morning74--,i am always astonished  
at the difference between one's inward  
mood of the evening and that of the     
morning4 ,the passions which are        
dominant in the evening1 in the morning 
leave the field free for the            
contemplative part of the soul4 ,our    
whole being1 irritated and overstrung by
 the nervous excitement of the day1     
arrives in the evening at the           
culminating point of its human vitality2
 the same being1 tranquilized by the    
calm of sleep1 is in the morning nearer 
heaven4 ,we should weigh a resolution in
 the two balances1 and examine an idea  
under the two lights1 if we wish to     
minimize the chances of error by taking 
the average of our daily oscillations4  
,our inner life describes regular       
curves1 barometical curves1 as it were1 
independent of the accidental           
disturbances which the storms of        
sentiment and passion may raise in us4  
,every soul has its climate1 or rather1 
is a climate2 it has1 so to speak1 its  

own meteorology in the general          
meteorology of the soul4 ,psychology1   
therefore1 cannot be complete so long as
 the physiology of our planet is itself 
incomplete--that science to which we    
give nowadays the insufficient name of  
physics of the globe4  ,i became        
conscious this morning that what appears
 to us impossible is often an           
impossibility altogether subjective4    
,our mind1 under the action of the      
passions1 produces by a strange mirage  
gigantic obstacles1 mountains or        
abysses1 which stop us short4 ,breathe  
upon the passion and the phantasmagoria 
will vanish4 ,this power of mirage1 by  
which we are able to delude and         
fascinate ourselves1 is a moral         
phenomenon worthy of attentive study4   
,we make for ourselves1 in truth1 our   
own spiritual world monsters1 chimeras1 
angels1 we make objective what ferments 
in us4 ,all is marvelous for the poet2  
all is divine for the saint2 all is     
great for the hero2 all is wretched1    

miserable1 ugly1 and bad for the base   
and sordid soul4 ,the bad man creates   
around him a pandemonium1 the artist1 an
 ,olympus1 the elect soul1 a paradise1  
which each of them sees for himself     
alone4 ,we are all visionaries1 and what
 we see is our soul in things4 ,we      
reward ourselves and punish ourselves   
without knowing it1 so that all appears 
to change when we change4  ,the soul is 
essentially active1 and the activity of 
which we are conscious is but a part of 
our activity1 and voluntary activity is 
but a part of our conscious activity4   
,here we have the basis of a whole      
psychology and system of morals4 ,man   
reproducing the world1 surrounding      
himself with a nature which is the      
objective rendering of his spiritual    
nature1 rewarding and punishing himself2
 the universe identical with the divine 
nature1 and the nature of the perfect   
spirit only becoming understood         
according to the measure of our         
perfection2 intuition the recompense of 

inward purity2 science as the result of 
goodness2 in short1 a new phenomenology 
more complete and more moral1 in which  
the total soul of things becomes spirit4
 ,this shall perhaps be my subject for  
my summer lectures4 ,how much is        
contained in it6 the whole domain of    
inner education1 all that is mysterious 
in our life1 the relation of nature to  
spirit1 of ,god and all other beings to 
man1 the repetition in miniature of the 
cosmogony1 mythology1 theology1 and     
history of the universe1 the evolution  
of mind1 in a word the problem of       
problems into which ,i have often       
plunged but from which finite things1   
details1 minutiae1 have turned me back a
 thousand times4 ,i return to the brink 
of the great abyss with the clear       
perception that here lies the problem of
 science1 that to sound it is a duty1   
that ,god hides ,himself only in light  
and love1 that ,he calls upon us to     
become spirits1 to possess ourselves and
 to possess ,him in the measure of our  

strength and that it is our incredulity1
 our spiritual cowardice1 which is our  
infirmity and weakness4  ,dante1 gazing 
into the three worlds with their divers 
heavens1 saw under the form of an image 
what ,i would fain seize under a purer  
form4 ,but he was a poet1 and ,i shall  
only be a philosopher4 ,the poet makes  
himself understood by human generations 
and by the crowd2 the philosopher       
addresses himself only to a few rare    
minds4 ,the day has broken4 ,it brings  
with it dispersion of thought in action4
 ,i feel myself de-magnetized1 pure     
clairvoyance gives place to study1 and  
the ethereal depth of the heaven of     
contemplation vanishes before the       
glitter of finite things4 ,is it to be  
regretted8 ,no4 ,but it proves that the 
hours most apt for philosophical thought
 are those which precede the dawn4      
,february #aj1 #ahec4--,this afternoon  
,i made an excursion to the ,salve with 
my particular friends1 ,charles ,heim1  
,edmond ,scherer1 lie ,lecoultre1 and   

,ernest ,naville4 ,the conversation was 
of the most interesting kind1 and       
prevented us from noticing the deep mud 
which hindered our walking4 ,it was     
especially ,scherer1 ,naville1 and ,i   
who kept it alive4 ,liberty in ,god1 the
 essence of ,christianity1 new          
publications in philosophy1 these were  
our three subjects of conversation4 ,the
 principle result for me was an         
excellent exercise in dialectic and in  
argumentation with solid champions4 ,if 
,i learned nothing1 many of my ideas    
gained new confirmation1 and ,i was able
 to penetrate more deeply into the minds
 of my friends4 ,i am much nearer to    
,scherer than to ,naville1 but from him 
also ,i am in some degree separated4    
,it is a striking fact1 not unlike the  
changing of swords in 8,hamlet10  that  
the abstract minds1 those which move    
from ideas to facts1 are always fighting
 on behalf of concrete reality2 while   
the concrete minds1 which move from     
facts to ideas1 are generally the       

champions of abstract notions4 ,each    
pretends to that over which he has least
 power2 each aims instinctively at what 
he himself lacks4 ,it is an unconscious 
protest against the incompleteness of   
each separate nature4 ,we all tend      
toward that which we possess least of1  
and our point of arrival is essentially 
different from our point of departure4  
,the promised land is the land where one
 is not4 ,the most intellectual of      
natures adopts an ethical theory of     
mind2 the most moral of natures has an  
intellectual theory of morals4 ,this    
reflection was brought home to me in the
 course of our three or four hours'     
discussion4 ,nothing is more hidden from
 us than the illusion which lives with  
us day by day1 and our greatest illusion
 is to believe that we are what we think
 ourselves to be4  ,the mathematical    
intelligence and the historical         
intelligence 7the two classes of        
intelligences7 can never understand each
 other4 ,when they succeed in doing so  

as to words1 they differ as to the      
things which the words mean4 ,at the    
bottom of every discussion of detail    
between them reappears the problem of   
the origin of ideas4 ,if the problem is 
not present to them1 there is confusion2
 if it is present to them1 there is     
separation4 ,they only agree as to the  
goal--truth2 but never as to the road1  
the method1 and the criterion4  ,heim   
represented the impartiality of         
consciousness1 ,naville the morality of 
consciousness1 ,lecoultre the religion  
of consciousness1 ,scherer the          
intelligence of consciousness1 and ,i   
the consciousness of consciousness4 ,a  
common ground1 but differing            
individualities4 ,discrimen ingeniorum4 
,what charmed me most in this long      
discussion was the sense of mental      
freedom which it awakened in me4 ,to be 
able to set in motion the greatest      
subjects of thought without any sense of
 fatigue1 to be greater than the world1 
to play with one's strength1 this is    

what makes the well-being of            
intelligence1 the ,olympic festival of  
thought4 ,habere1 non haberi4 ,there is 
an equal happiness in the sense of      
reciprocal confidence1 of friendship1   
and esteem in the midst of conflict2    
like athletes1 we embrace each other    
before and after the combat1 and the    
combat is but a deploying of the forces 
of free and equal men4  ,march #bj1     
#ahec4--;,i sat up alone2 two or three  
times ,i paid a visit to the children's 
room4 ,it seemed to me1 young mothers1  
that ,i understood you6 sleep is the    
mystery of life2 there is a profound    
charm in this darkness broken by the    
tranquil light of the night-lamp1 and in
 this silence measured by the rhythmic  
breathings of two young sleeping        
creatures4 ,it was brought home to me   
that ,i was looking on at a marvelous   
operation of nature1 and ,i watched it  
in no profane spirit4 ,i sat silently   
listening1 a moved and hushed spectator 
of this poetry of the cradle1 this      

ancient and ever new benediction of the 
family1 this symbol of creation1        
sleeping under the wing of ,god1 of our 
consciousness withdrawing into the shade
 that it may rest from the burden of    
thought1 and of the tomb1 that divine   
bed1 where the soul in its turn rests   
from life4 ,to sleep is to strain and   
purify our emotions1 to deposit the mud 
of life1 to calm the fever of the soul1 
to return into the bosom of maternal    
nature1 thence to re-issue1 healed and  
strong4 ,sleep is a sort of innocence   
and purification4 ,blessed be ,he who   
gave it to the poor sons of men as the  
sure and faithful companion of life1 our
 daily healer and consoler4  ,april #bg1
 #ahec4--,this evening ,i read the      
treatise by ,nicole so much admired by  
,mme4 de ,svign3 8,des moyens de        
conserver la paix avec les hommes40     
,wisdom so gentle and so insinuating1 so
 shrewd1 piercing1 and yet humble1 which
 divines so well the hidden thoughts and
 secrets of the heart1 and brings them  

all into the sacred bondage of love to  
,god and man1 how good and delightful a 
thing it is6 ,everything in it is       
smooth1 even well put together1 well    
thought out1 but no display1 no tinsel1 
no worldly ornaments of style4 ,the     
moralist forgets himself and in us      
appeals only to the conscience4 ,he     
becomes a confessor1 a friend1 a        
counsellor4  ,may #aa1                  
#ahec4--,psychology1 poetry1 philosophy1
 history1 and science1 ,i have swept    
rapidly to-day on the wings of the      
invisible hippogriff through all these  
spheres of thought4 ,but the general    
impression has been one of tumult and   
anguish1 temptation and disquiet4  ,i   
love to plunge deep into the ocean of   
life2 but it is not without losing      
sometimes all sense of the axis and the 
pole1 without losing myself and feeling 
the consciousness of my own nature and  
vocation growing faint and wavering4    
,the whirlwind of the wandering ,jew    
carries me away1 tears me from my little

 familiar enclosure1 and makes me behold
 all the empires of men4 ,in my         
voluntary abandonment to the generality1
 the universal1 the infinite1 my        
particular ego evaporates like a drop of
 water in a furnace2 it only condenses  
itself anew at the return of cold1 after
 enthusiasm has died out and the sense  
of reality has returned4 ,alternate     
expansion and condensation1 abandonment 
and recovery of self1 the conquest of   
the world to be pursued on the one side1
 the deepening of consciousness on the  
other--such is the play of the inner    
life1 the march of the microcosmic mind1
 the marriage of the individual soul    
with the universal soul1 the finite with
 the infinite1 whence springs the       
intellectual progress of man4 ,other    
betrothals unite the soul to ,god1 the  
religious consciousness with the divine2
 these belong to the history of the     
will4 ,and what precedes will is        
feeling1 preceded itself by instinct4   
,man is only what he becomes--profound  

truth2 but he becomes only what he is1  
truth still more profound4 ,what am ,i8 
,terrible question6 ,problem of         
predestination1 of birth1 of liberty1   
there lies the abyss4 ,and yet one must 
plunge into it1 and ,i have done so4    
,the prelude of ,bach ,i heard this     
evening predisposed me to it2 it paints 
the soul tormented and appealing and    
finally seizing upon ,god1 and          
possessing itself of peace and the      
infinite with an all-prevailing fervor  
and passion4  ,may #ad1 #ahec4--,third  
quartet concert4 ,it was short4         
,variations for piano and violin by     
,beethoven1 and two quartets1 not more4 
,the quartets were perfectly clear and  
easy to understand4 ,one was by ,mozart 
and the other by ,beethoven1 so that ,i 
could compare the two masters4 ,their   
individuality seemed to become plain to 
me3 ,mozart--grace1 liberty1 certainty1 
freedom1 and precision of style1 and    
exquisite and aristocratic beauty1      
serenity of soul1 the health and talent 

of the master1 both on a level with his 
genius2 ,beethoven--more pathetic1 more 
passionate1 more torn with feeling1 more
 intricate1 more profound1 less perfect1
 more the slave of his genius1 more     
carried away by his fancy or his        
passion1 more moving1 and more sublime  
than ,mozart4 ,mozart refreshes you1    
like the 8,dialogues0 of ,plato2 he     
respects you1 reveals to you your       
strength1 gives you freedom and balance4
 ,beethoven seizes upon you2 he is more 
tragic and oratorical1 while ,mozart is 
more disinterested and poetical4 ,mozart
 is more ,greek1 and ,beethoven more    
,christian4 ,one is serene1 the other   
serious4 ,the first is stronger than    
destiny1 because he takes life less     
profoundly2 the second is less strong1  
because he has dared to measure himself 
against deeper sorrows4 ,his talent is  
not always equal to his genius1 and     
pathos is his dominant feature1 as      
perfection is that of ,mozart4 ,in      
,mozart the balance of the whole is     

perfect1 and art triumphs2 in ,beethoven
 feeling governs everything and emotion 
troubles his art in proportion as it    
deepens it4  ,july #bf1 #ahec4--,why do 
,i find it easier and more satisfactory1
 as a writer of verse1 to compose in the
 short metres than in the long and      
serious ones8 ,why1 in general1 am ,i   
better fitted for what is difficult than
 for what is easy8 ,always for the same 
reason4 ,i cannot bring myself to move  
freely1 to show myself without a veil1  
to act on my own account and act        
seriously1 to believe in and assert     
myself1 whereas a piece of badinage     
which diverts attention from myself to  
the thing in hand1 from the feeling to  
the skill of the writer1 puts me at my  
ease4 ,it is timidity which is at the   
bottom of it4 ,there is another reason1 
too--,i am afraid of greatness1 ,i am   
not afraid of ingenuity1 and distrustful
 as ,i am both of my gift and my        
instrument1 ,i like to reassure myself  
by an elaborate practice of execution4  

,all my published literary essays1      
therefore1 are little else than studies1
 games1 exercises for the purpose of    
testing myself4 ,i play scales1 as it   
were2 ,i run up and down my instrument1 
,i train my hand and make sure of its   
capacity and skill4 ,but the work itself
 remains unachieved4 ,my effort expires1
 and satisfied with the power to act ,i 
never arrive at the will to act4 ,i am  
always preparing and never              
accomplishing1 and my energy is         
swallowed up in a kind of barren        
curiosity4 ,timidity1 then1 and         
curiosity--these are the two obstacles  
which bar against me a literary career4 
,nor must procrastination be forgotten4 
,i am always reserving for the future   
what is great1 serious1 and important1  
and meanwhile1 ,i am eager to exhaust   
what is pretty and trifling4 ,sure of my
 devotion to things that are vast and   
profound1 ,i am always lingering in     
their contraries lest ,i should neglect 
them4 ,serious at bottom1 ,i am         

frivolous in appearance4 ,a lover of    
thought1 ,i seem to care above all1 for 
expression2 ,i keep the substance for   
myself1 and reserve the form for others4
 ,so that the net result of my timidity 
is that ,i never treat the public       
seriously1 and that ,i only show myself 
to it in what is amusing1 enigmatical1  
or capricious2 the result of my         
curiosity is that everything tempts me1 
the shell as well as the mountain1 and  
that ,i lose myself in endless research2
 while the habit of procrastination     
keeps me forever at preliminaries and   
antecedents1 and production itself is   
never even begun4  ,but if that is the  
fact1 the fact might be different4 ,i   
understand myself1 but ,i do not approve
 myself4  ,august #a1 #ahec4--;,i have  
just finished ,pelletan's book1         
8,profession de foi du dix-neuvime      
,sicle40 ,it is a fine book ,only one   
thing is wanting to it--the idea of     
evil4 ,it is a kind of supplement to the
 theory of ,condorcet--indefinite       

perfectibility1 man essentially good1   
life1 which is a physiological notion1  
dominating virtue1 duty1 and holiness1  
in short1 a non-ethical conception of   
history1 liberty identified with nature1
 the natural man taken for the whole    
man4 ,the aspirations which such a book 
represents are generous and poetical1   
but in the first place dangerous1 since 
they lead to an absolute confidence in  
instinct2 and in the second1 credulous  
and unpractical1 for they set before us 
a mere dream man1 and throw a veil over 
both present and past reality4 ,the book
 is at once the plea justificatory of   
progress1 conceived as fatal and        
irresistible1 and an enthusiastic hymn  
to the triumph of humanity4 ,it is      
earnest1 but morally superficial2       
poetical1 but fanciful and untrue4 ,it  
confounds the progress of the race with 
the progress of the individual1 the     
progress of civilization with the       
advance of the inner life4 ,why8        
,because its criterion is quantitative1 

that is to say1 purely exterior 7having 
regard to the wealth of life71 and not  
qualitative 7the goodness of life74     
,always the same tendency to take the   
appearance for the thing1 the form for  
the substance1 the law for the essence1 
always the same absence of moral        
personality1 the same obtuseness of     
conscience1 which has never recognized  
sin present in the will1 which places   
evil outside of man1 moralizes from     
outside1 and transforms to its own      
liking the whole lesson of history6     
,what is at fault is the philosophic    
superficiality of ,france1 which she    
owes to her fatal notion of religion1   
itself due to a life fashioned by       
,catholicism and by absolute monarchy4  
,catholic thought cannot conceive of    
personality as supreme and conscious of 
itself4 ,its boldness and its weakness  
come from one and the same cause--from  
an absence of the sense of              
responsibility1 from that vassal state  
of conscience which knows only slavery  

or anarchy1 which proclaims but does not
 obey the law1 because the law is       
outside it1 not within it4 ,another     
illusion is that of ,quinet and         
,michelet1 who imagine it possible to   
come out of ,catholicism without        
entering into any other positive form of
 religion1 and whose idea is to fight   
,catholicism by philosophy1 a philosophy
 which is1 after all1 ,catholic at      
bottom1 since it springs from           
anti-,catholic reaction4 ,the mind and  
the conscience1 which have been formed  
by ,catholicism1 are powerless to rise  
to any other form of religion4 ,from    
,catholicism1 as from ,epicureanism     
there is no return4  ,october #aa1      
#ahec4--,my third day at ,turin1 is now 
over4 ,i have been able to penetrate    
farther than ever before into the       
special genius of this town and people4 
,i have felt it live1 have realized it  
little by little1 as my intuition became
 more distinct4 ,that is what ,i care   
for most3 to seize the soul of things1  

the soul of a nation2 to live the       
objective life1 the life outside self2  
to find my way into a new moral country4
 ,i long to assume the citizenship of   
this unknown world1 to enrich myself    
with this fresh form of existence1 to   
feel it from within1 to link myself to  
it1 and to reproduce it sympathetically2
 this is the end and the reward of my   
efforts4 ,to-day the problem grew clear 
to me as ,i stood on the terrace of the 
military hospital1 in full view of the  
,alps1 the weather fresh and clear in   
spite of a stormy sky4 ,such an         
intuition after all is nothing out a    
synthesis wrought by instinct1 a        
synthesis to which everything--streets1 
houses1 landscape1 accent1 dialect1     
physiognomies1 history1 and habits      
contribute their share4 ,i might call it
 the ideal integration of a people or   
its reduction to the generating point1  
or an entering into its consciousness4  
,this generating point explains         
everything else1 art1 religion1 history1

 politics1 manners2 and without it      
nothing can be explained4 ,the ancients 
realized their consciousness in the     
national ,god4 ,modern nationalities1   
more complicated and less artistic1 are 
more difficult to decipher4 ,what one   
seeks for in them is the daemon1 the    
fatum1 the inner genius1 the mission1   
the primitive disposition1 both what    
there is desire for and what there is   
power for1 the force in them and its    
limitations4  ,a pure and life-giving   
freshness of thought and of the         
spiritual life seemed to play about me1 
borne on the breeze descending from the 
,alps4 ,i breathed an atmosphere of     
spiritual freedom1 and ,i hailed with   
emotion and rapture the mountains whence
 was wafted to me this feeling of       
strength and purity4 ,a thousand        
sensations1 thoughts1 and analogies     
crowded upon me4 ,history1 too1 the     
history of the sub-,alpine countries1   
from the ,ligurians to ,hannibal1 from  
,hannibal to ,charlemagne1 from         

,charlemagne to ,napoleon1 passed       
through my mind4 ,all the possible      
points of view1 were1 so to speak1 piled
 upon each other1 and one caught        
glimpses of some eccentrically across   
others4 ,i was enjoying and ,i was      
learning4 ,sight passed into vision     
without a trace of hallucination1 and   
the landscape was my guide1 my ,virgil4 
,all this made me very sensible of the  
difference between me and the majority  
of travelers1 all of whom have a special
 object1 and content themselves with one
 thing or with several1 while ,i desire 
all or nothing1 and am forever straining
 toward the total1 whether of all       
possible objects1 or of all the elements
 present in the reality4 ,in other      
words1 what ,i desire is the sum of all 
desires1 and what ,i seek to know is the
 sum of all different kinds of          
knowledge4 ,always the complete1 the    
absolute2 the teres atque rotundum1     
sphericity1 non-resignation4  ,october  
#bg1 #ahec4--;,i thank ,thee1 my ,god1  

for the hour that ,i have just passed in
 ,thy presence4 ,thy will was clear to  
me2 ,i measured my faults1 counted my   
griefs1 and felt ,thy goodness toward   
me4 ,i realized my own nothingness1     
,thou gavest me ,thy peace4 ,in         
bitterness there is sweetness2 in       
affliction1 joy2 in submission1         
strength2 in the ,god who punishes1 the 
,god who loves4 ,to lose one's life that
 one may gain it1 to offer it that one  
may receive it1 to possess nothing that 
one may conquer all1 to renounce self   
that ,god may give ,himself to us1 how  
impossible a problem1 and how sublime a 
reality6 ,no one truly knows happiness  
who has not suffered1 and the redeemed  
are happier than the elect4  7,same     
day47--,the divine miracle par          
excellence consists surely in the       
apotheosis of grief1 the transfiguration
 of evil by good4 ,the work of creation 
finds its consummation1 and the eternal 
will of the infinite mercy finds its    
fulfillment only in the restoration of  

the free creature to ,god and of an evil
 world to goodness1 through love4 ,every
 soul in which conversion has taken     
place is a symbol of the history of the 
world4 ,to be happy1 to possess eternal 
life1 to be in ,god1 to be saved1 all   
these are the same4 ,all alike mean the 
solution of the problem1 the aim of     
existence4 ,and happiness is cumulative1
 as misery may be4 ,an eternal growth is
 an unchangeable peace1 an ever         
profounder depth of apprehension1 a     
possession constantly more intense and  
more spiritual of the joy of            
heaven--this is happiness4 ,happiness   
has no limits1 because ,god has neither 
bottom nor bounds1 and because happiness
 is nothing but the conquest of ,god    
through love4  ,the center of life is   
neither in thought nor in feeling1 nor  
in will1 nor even in consciousness1 so  
far as it thinks1 feels1 or wishes4 ,for
 moral truth may have been penetrated   
and possessed in all these ways1 and    
escape us still4 ,deeper even than      

consciousness there is our being itself1
 our very substance1 our nature4 ,only  
those truths which have entered into    
this last region1 which have become     
ourselves1 become spontaneous and       
involuntary1 instinctive and            
unconscious1 are really our life--that  
is to say something more than our       
property4 ,so long as we are able to    
distinguish any space whatever between  
the truth and us we remain outside it4  
,the thought1 the feeling1 the desire1  
the consciousness of life1 are not yet  
quite life4 ,but peace and repose can   
nowhere be found except in life1 and in 
eternal life and the eternal life is the
 divine life1 is ,god4 ,to become divine
 is then the aim of life3 then only can 
truth be said to be ours beyond the     
possibility of loss1 because it is no   
longer outside us1 nor even in us1 but  
we are it1 and it is we2 we ourselves   
are a truth1 a will1 a work of ,god4    
,liberty has become nature2 the creature
 is one with its creator--one through   

love4 ,it is what it ought to be2 its   
education is finished1 and its final    
happiness begins4 ,the sun of time      
declines and the light of eternal       
blessedness arises4  ,our fleshly hearts
 may call this mysticism4 ,it is the    
mysticism of ,jesus3 8,i am one with my 
,father2 ye shall be one with me4 ,we   
will be one with you40  ,do not despise 
your situation2 in it you must act1     
suffer1 and conquer4 ,from every point  
on earth we are equally near to heaven  
and to the infinite4  ,there are two    
states or conditions of pride4 ,the     
first is one of self-approval1 the      
second one of self-contempt4 ,pride is  
seen probably at its purest in the last4
         99       99       99       99  
99  ,it is by teaching that we teach    
ourselves1 by relating that we observe1 
by affirming that we examine1 by showing
 that we look1 by writing that we think1
 by pumping that we draw water into the 
well4         99       99       99      
99       99  ,february #a1 #ahed4--;,a  

walk4 ,the atmosphere incredibly pure1 a
 warm caressing gentleness in the       
sunshine--joy in one's whole being4     
,seated motionless upon a bench on the  
,tranches1 beside the slopes clothed    
with moss and tapestried with green1 ,i 
passed some intense delicious moments1  
allowing great elastic waves of music1  
wafted to me from a military band on the
 terrace of ,st4 ,antoine1 to surge and 
bound through me4 ,every way ,i was     
happy1 as idler1 as painter1 as poet4   
,forgotten impressions of childhood and 
youth came back to me--all those        
indescribable effects wrought by color1 
shadow1 sunlight1 green hedges1 and     
songs of birds1 upon the soul just      
opening to poetry4 ,i became again      
young1 wondering1 and simple1 as candor 
and ignorance are simple4 ,i abandoned  
myself to life and to nature1 and they  
cradled me with an infinite gentleness4 
,to open one's heart in purity to this  
ever pure nature1 to allow this immortal
 life of things to penetrate into one's 

soul1 is at the same time to listen to  
the voice of ,god4 ,sensation may be a  
prayer1 and self-abandonment an act of  
devotion4  ,february #ah1               
#ahed4--;,everything tends to become    
fixed1 solidified1 and crystallized in  
this ,french tongue of ours1 which seeks
 form and not substance1 the result and 
not its formation1 what is seen rather  
than what is thought1 the outside rather
 than the inside4  ,we like the         
accomplished end and not the pursuit of 
the end1 the goal and not the road1 in  
short1 ideas ready-made and bread       
ready-baked1 the reverse of ,lessing's  
principle4 ,what we look for above all  
are conclusions4 ,this clearness of the 
8ready-made0 is a superficial           
clearness--physical1 outward1 solar     
clearness1 so to speak1 but in the      
absence of a sense for origin and       
genesis it is the clearness of the      
incomprehensible1 the clearness of      
opacity1 the clearness of the obscure4  
,we are always trifling on the surface4 

,our temper is formal--that is to say1  
frivolous and material1 or rather       
artistic and not philosophical4 ,for    
what it seeks is the figure1 the fashion
 and manner of things1 not their deepest
 life1 their soul1 their secret4  ,march
 #af1 #ahed4 7,from ,veevay to          
,geneva47--,what message had this lake  
for me1 with its sad serenity1 its soft 
and even tranquility1 in which was      
mirrored the cold monotonous pallor of  
mountains and clouds8 ,that disenchanted
 disillusioned life may still be        
traversed by duty1 lit by a memory of   
heaven4 ,i was visited by a clear and   
profound intuition of the flight of     
things1 of the fatality of all life1 of 
the melancholy which is below the       
surface of all existence1 but also of   
that deepest depth which subsists       
forever beneath the fleeting wave4      
,december #ag1 #ahed4--,when we are     
doing nothing in particular1 it is then 
that we are living through all our      
being2 and when we cease to add to our  

growth it is only that we may ripen and 
possess ourselves4 ,will is suspended1  
but nature and time are always active   
and if our life is no longer our work1  
the work goes on none the less4 ,with   
us1 without us1 or in spite of us1 our  
existence travels through its appointed 
phases1 our invisible ,psyche weaves the
 silk of its chrysalis1 our destiny     
fulfills itself1 and all the hours of   
life work together toward that flowering
 time which we call death4 ,this        
activity1 then1 is inevitable and fatal2
 sleep and idleness do not interrupt it1
 but it may become free and moral1 a joy
 instead of a terror4  ,nothing is more 
characteristic of a man than the manner 
in which he behaves toward fools4  ,it  
costs us a great deal of trouble not to 
be of the same opinion as our self-love1
 and not to be ready to believe in the  
good taste of those who believe in our  
merits4  ,does not true humility consist
 in accepting one's infirmity as a      
trial1 and one's evil disposition as a  

cross1 in sacrificing all one's         
pretensions and ambitions1 even those of
 conscience8 ,true humility is          
contentment4         99       99        
99       99       99  ,a man only       
understands that of which he has already
 the beginnings in himself4  ,let us be 
true3 this is the highest maxim of art  
and of life1 the secret of eloquence and
 of virtue1 and of all moral authority4 
99       99       99       99       99  
,march #bh1 #ahee4--,not a blade of     
grass but has a story to tell1 not a    
heart but has its romance1 not a life   
which does not hide a secret which is   
either its thorn or its spur4           
,everywhere grief1 hope1 comedy1        
tragedy2 even under the petrifaction of 
old age1 as in the twisted forms of     
fossils1 we may discover the agitations 
and tortures of youth4 ,this thought is 
the magic wand of poets and of          
preachers3 it strips the scales from our
 fleshly eyes1 and gives us a clear view
 into human life2 it opens to the ear a 

world of unknown melodies1 and makes us 
understand the thousand languages of    
nature4 ,thwarted love makes a man a    
polyglot1 and grief transforms him into 
a diviner and a sorcerer4  ,april #af1  
#ahee4--;,i realized this morning the   
prodigious effect of climate on one's   
state of mind4 ,i was ,italian or       
,spanish4 ,in this blue and limpid air1 
and under this southern sun1 the very   
walls smile at you4 ,all the chestnut   
trees were en fete2 with their          
glistening buds shining like little     
flames at the curved ends of the        
branches1 they were the candelabra of   
the spring decking the festival of      
eternal nature4 ,how young everything   
was1 how kindly1 how gracious6 the moist
 freshness of the grass1 the transparent
 shadows in the courtyards1 the strength
 of the old cathedral towers1 the white 
edges of the roads4 ,i felt myself a    
child2 the sap of life mounted again    
into my veins as it does in plants4 ,how
 sweet a thing is a little simple       

enjoyment6 ,and now1 a brass band which 
has stopped in the street makes my heart
 leap as it did at eighteen4 ,thanks be 
to ,god2 there have been so many weeks  
and months when ,i thought myself an old
 man4 ,come poetry1 nature1 youth1 and  
love1 knead my life again with your     
fairy hands2 weave round me once more   
your immortal spells2 sing your siren   
melodies1 make me drink of the cup of   
immortality1 lead me back to the        
,olympus of the soul4 ,or rather1 no    
paganism6 ,god of joy and of grief1 do  
with me what ,thou wilt2 grief is good1 
and joy is good also4 ,thou art leading 
me now through joy4 ,i take it from ,thy
 hands1 and ,i give ,thee thanks for it4
  ,april #ag1 #ahee4--,the weather is   
still incredibly brilliant1 warm1 and   
clear4 ,the day is full of the singing  
of birds1 the night is full of stars1   
nature has become all kindness1 and it  
is a kindness clothed upon with         
splendor4  ,for nearly two hours have ,i
 been lost in the contemplation of this 

magnificent spectacle4 ,i felt myself in
 the temple of the infinite1 in the     
presence of the worlds1 ,god's guest in 
this vast nature4 ,the stars wandering  
in the pale ether drew me far away from 
earth4 ,what peace beyond the power of  
words1 what dews of life eternal1 they  
shed on the adoring soul6 ,i felt the   
earth floating like a boat in this blue 
ocean4 ,such deep and tranquil delight  
nourishes the whole man1 it purifies and
 ennobles4 ,i surrendered myself1 ,i was
 all gratitude and docility4  ,april    
#ba1 #ahee4--;,i have been reading a    
great deal3 ethnography1 comparative    
anatomy1 cosmical systems4 ,i have      
traversed the universe from the deepest 
depths of the empyrean to the           
peristaltic movements of the atoms in   
the elementary cell4 ,i have felt myself
 expanding in the infinite1 and         
enfranchised in spirit from the bounds  
of time and space1 able to trace back   
the whole boundless creation to a point 
without dimensions1 and seeing the vast 

multitude of suns1 of milky ways1 of    
stars1 and nebulae1 all existent in the 
point4  ,and on all sides stretched     
mysteries1 marvels and prodigies1       
without limit1 without number1 and      
without end4 ,i felt the unfathomable   
thought of which the universe is the    
symbol live and burn within me2 ,i      
touched1 proved1 tasted1 embraced my    
nothingness and my immensity2 ,i kissed 
the hem of the garments of ,god1 and    
gave ,him thanks for being ,spirit and  
for being life4 ,such moments are       
glimpses of the divine4 ,they make one  
conscious of one's immortality2 they    
bring home to one that an eternity is   
not too much for the study of the       
thoughts and works of the eternal2 they 
awaken in us an adoring ecstasy and the 
ardent humility of love4  ,may #bc1     
#ahee4--;,every hurtful passion draws us
 to it1 as an abyss does1 by a kind of  
vertigo4 ,feebleness of will brings     
about weakness of head1 and the abyss in
 spite of its horror1 comes to fascinate

 us1 as though it were a place of       
refuge4 ,terrible danger6 ,for this     
abyss is within us2 this gulf1 open like
 the vast jaws of an infernal serpent   
bent on devouring us1 is in the depth of
 our own being1 and our liberty floats  
over this void1 which is always seeking 
to swallow it up4 ,our only talisman    
lies in that concentration of moral     
force which we call conscience1 that    
small inextinguishable flame of which   
the light is duty and the warmth love4  
,this little flame should be the star of
 our life2 it alone can guide our       
trembling ark across the tumult of the  
great waters2 it alone can enable us to 
escape the temptations of the sea1 the  
storms and the monsters which are the   
offspring of night and the deluge4      
,faith in ,god1 in a holy1 merciful1    
fatherly ,god1 is the divine ray which  
kindles this flame4  ,how deeply ,i feel
 the profound and terrible poetry of all
 these primitive terrors from which have
 issued the various theogonies of the   

world1 and how it all grows clear to me1
 and becomes a symbol of the one great  
unchanging thought1 the thought of ,god 
about the universe6 ,how present and    
sensible to my inner sense is the unity 
of everything6 ,it seems to me that ,i  
am able to pierce to the sublime motive 
which1 in all the infinite spheres of   
existence1 and through all the modes of 
space and time1 every created form      
reproduces and sings within the bond of 
an eternal harmony4 ,from the infernal  
shades ,i feel myself mounting toward   
the regions of light2 my flight across  
chaos finds its rest in paradise4       
,heaven1 hell1 the world1 are within us4
 ,man is the great abyss4  ,july #bg1   
#ahee4--,so life passes away1 tossed    
like a boat by the waves up and down1   
hither and thither1 drenched by the     
spray1 stained by the foam1 now thrown  
upon the bank1 now drawn back again     
according to the endless caprice of the 
water4 ,such1 at least1 is the life of  
the heart and the passions1 the life    

which ,spinoza and the stoics reprove1  
and which is the exact opposite of that 
serene and contemplative life1 always   
equable like the starlight1 in which man
 lives at peace1 and sees everything    
tinder its eternal aspect2 the opposite 
also of the life of conscience1 in which
 ,god alone speaks1 and all self-will   
surrenders itself to ,his will made     
manifest4  ,i pass from one to another  
of these three existences1 which are    
equally known to me2 but this very      
mobility deprives me of the advantages  
of each4 ,for my heart is worn with     
scruples1 the soul in me cannot crush   
the needs of the heart1 and the         
conscience is troubled and no longer    
knows how to distinguish1 in the chaos  
of contradictory inclinations1 the voice
 of duty or the will of ,god4 ,the want 
of simple faith1 the indecision which   
springs from distrust of self1 tend to  
make all my personal life a matter of   
doubt and uncertainty4 ,i am afraid of  
the subjective life1 and recoil from    

every enterprise1 demand1 or promise    
which may oblige me to realize myself2  
,i feel a terror of action1 and am only 
at ease in the impersonal1              
disinterested1 and objective life of    
thought4 ,the reason seems to be        
timidity1 and the timidity springs from 
the excessive development of the        
reflective power which has almost       
destroyed in me all spontaneity1        
impulse1 and instinct1 and therefore all
 boldness and confidence4 ,whenever ,i  
am forced to act1 ,i see cause for error
 and repentance everywhere1 everywhere  
hidden threats and masked vexations4    
,from a child ,i have been liable to the
 disease of irony1 and that it may not  
be altogether crushed by destiny1 my    
nature seems to have armed itself with a
 caution strong enough to prevail       
against any of life's blandishments4 ,it
 is just this strength which is my      
weakness4 ,i have a horror of being     
duped1 above all1 duped by myself1 and  
,i would rather cut myself off from all 

life's joys than deceive or be deceived4
 ,humiliation1 then1 is the sorrow which
 ,i fear the most1 and therefore it     
would seem as if pride were the deepest 
rooted of my faults4  ,this may be      
logical1 but it is not the truth3 it    
seems to me that it is really distrust1 
incurable doubt of the future1 a sense  
of the justice but not of the goodness  
of ,god--in short1 unbelief1 which is my
 misfortune and my sin4 ,every act is a 
hostage delivered over to avenging      
destiny--there is the instinctive belief
 which chills and freezes2 every act is 
a pledge confided to a fatherly         
providence1 there is the belief which   
calms4  ,pain seems to me a punishment  
and not a mercy3 this is why ,i have a  
secret horror of it4 ,and as ,i feel    
myself vulnerable at all points1 and    
everywhere accessible to pain1 ,i prefer
 to remain motionless1 like a timid     
child1 who1 left alone in his father's  
laboratory1 dares not touch anything for
 fear of springs2 explosions1 and       

catastrophes1 which may burst from every
 corner at the least movement of his    
inexperienced hands4 ,i have trust in   
,god directly and as revealed in nature1
 but ,i have a deep distrust of all free
 and evil agents4 ,i feel or foresee    
evil1 moral and physical1 as the        
consequence of every error1 fault1 or   
sin1 and ,i am ashamed of pain4  ,at    
bottom1 is it not a mere boundless      
self-love1 the purism of perfection1 an 
incapacity to accept our human          
condition1 a tacit protest against the  
order of the world1 which lies at the   
root of my inertia8 ,it means all or    
nothing1 a vast ambition made inactive  
by disgust1 a yearning that cannot be   
uttered for the ideal1 joined with an   
offended dignity and a wounded pride    
which will have nothing to say to what  
they consider beneath them4 ,it springs 
from the ironical temper which refuses  
to take either self or reality          
seriously1 because it is forever        
comparing both with the dimly-seen      

infinite of its dreams4 ,it is a state  
of mental reservation in which one lends
 one's self to circumstances for form's 
sake1 but refuses to recognize them in  
one's heart because one cannot see the  
necessity or the divine order in them4  
,i am disinterested because ,i am       
indifferent2 ,i have nothing to say     
against what is1 and yet ,i am never    
satisfied4 ,i am too weak to conquer1   
and yet ,i will not be ,conquered--it is
 the isolation of the disenchanted soul1
 which has put even hope away from it4  
,but even this is a trial laid upon one4
 ,its providential purpose is no doubt  
to lead one to that true renunciation of
 which charity is the sign and symbol4  
,it is when one expects nothing more for
 one's self that one is able to love4   
,to do good to men because we love them1
 to use every talent we have so as to   
please the ,father from whom we hold it 
for ,his service1 there is no other way 
of reaching and curing this deep        
discontent with life which hides itself 

under an appearance of indifference4    
,september #d1 #ahee4--;,in the         
government of the soul the parliamentary
 form succeeds the monarchical4 ,good   
sense1 conscience1 desire1 reason1 the  
present and the past1 the old man and   
the new1 prudence and generosity1 take  
up their parable in turn2 the reign of  
argument begins2 chaos replaces order1  
and darkness light4 ,simple will        
represents the autocratic rgime1        
interminable discussion the deliberate  
regime of the soul4 ,the one is         
preferable from the theoretical point of
 view1 the other from the practical4    
,knowledge and action are their two     
respective advantages4  ,but the best of
 all would be to be able to realize     
three powers in the soul4 ,besides the  
man of counsel we want the man of action
 and the man of judgment4 ,in me1       
reflection comes to no useful end1      
because it is forever returning upon    
itself1 disputing and debating4 ,i am   
wanting in both the general who commands

 and the judge who decides4  ,analysis  
is dangerous if it overrules the        
synthetic faculty2 reflection is to be  
feared if it destroys our power of      
intuition1 and inquiry is fatal if it   
supplants faith4 ,decomposition becomes 
deadly when it surpasses in strength the
 combining and constructive energies of 
life1 and the separate action of the    
powers of the soul tends to mere        
disintegration and destruction as soon  
as it becomes impossible to bring them  
to bear as one undivided force4 ,when   
the sovereign abdicates anarchy begins4 
,it is just here that my danger lies4   
,unity of life1 of force1 of action1 of 
expression1 is becoming impossible to   
me2 ,i am legion1 division1 analysis1   
and reflection2 the passion for         
dialectic1 for fine distinctions1       
absorbs and weakens me4 ,the point which
 ,i have reached seems to be explained  
by a too restless search for perfection1
 by the abuse of the critical faculty1  
and by an unreasonable distrust of first

 impulses1 first thoughts1 first words4 
,unity and simplicity of being1         
confidence1 and spontaneity of life1 are
 drifting out of my reach1 and this is  
why ,i can no longer act4  ,give up1    
then1 this trying to know all1 to       
embrace all4 ,learn to limit yourself1  
to content yourself with some definite  
thing1 and some definite work2 dare to  
be what you are1 and learn to resign    
with a good grace all that you are not1 
and to believe in your own              
individuality4 ,self-distrust is        
destroying you2 trust1 surrender1       
abandon yourself2 8believe and thou     
shalt be healed40 ,unbelief is death1   
and depression and self-satire are alike
 unbelief4         99       99       99 
99       99  ,from the point of view of 
happiness1 the problem of life is       
insoluble1 for it is our highest        
aspirations which prevent us from being 
happy4 ,from the point of view of duty1 
there is the same difficulty1 for the   
fulfillment of duty brings peace1 not   

happiness4 ,it is divine love1 the love 
of the holiest1 the possession of ,god  
by faith1 which solves the difficulty2  
for if sacrifice has itself become a    
joy1 a lasting1 growing and imperishable
 joy--the soul is then secure of an     
all-sufficient and unfailing            
nourishment4         99       99        
99       99       99  ,january #ba1     
#ahef4--,yesterday seems to me as far   
off as though it were last year4 ,my    
memory holds nothing more of the past   
than its general plan1 just as my eye   
perceives nothing more in the starry    
heaven4 ,it is no more possible for me  
to recover one of my days from the      
depths of memory than if it were a glass
 of water poured into a lake2 it is not 
so much a lost thing as a thing melted  
and fused2 the individual has returned  
into the whole4 ,the divisions of time  
are categories which have no power to   
mold my life1 and leave no more lasting 
impression than lines traced by a stick 
in water4 ,my life1 my individuality1   

are fluid1 there is nothing for it but  
to resign one's self4  ,april #i1       
#ahef4--;,how true it is that our       
destinies are decided by nothings and   
that a small imprudence helped by some  
insignificant accident1 as an acorn is  
fertilized by a drop of rain1 may raise 
the trees on which perhaps we and others
 shall be crucified4 ,what happens is   
quite different from that we planned2 we
 planned a blessing and there springs   
from it a curse4 ,how many times the    
serpent of fatality1 or rather the law  
of life1 the force of things1           
intertwining itself with some very      
simple facts1 cannot be cut away by any 
effort1 and the logic of situations and 
characters leads inevitably to a dreaded
 dnouement4 ,it is the fatal spell of   
destiny1 which obliges us to feed our   
grief from our own hand1 to prolong the 
existence of our vulture1 to throw into 
the furnace of our punishment and       
expiation1 our powers1 our qualities1   
our very virtues1 one by one1 and so    

forces us to recognize our nothingness1 
our dependence and the implacable       
majesty of law4 ,faith in a providence  
softens punishment but does not do away 
with it4 ,the wheels of the divine      
chariot crush us first of all that      
justice may be satisfied and an example 
given to men1 and then a hand is        
stretched out to us to raise us up1 or  
at least to reconcile us with the love  
hidden under the justice4 ,pardon cannot
 precede repentance and repentance only 
begins with humility4 ,and so long as   
any fault whatever appears trifling to  
us1 so long as we see1 not so much the  
culpability of as the excuses for       
imprudence or negligence1 so long1 in   
short1 as ,job murmurs and as providence
 is thought to be too severe1 so long as
 there is any inner protestation against
 fate1 or doubt as to the perfect       
justice of ,god1 there is not yet entire
 humility or true repentance4 ,it is    
when we accept the expiation that it can
 be spared us2 it is when we submit     

sincerely that grace can be granted to  
us4 ,only when grief finds its work done
 can ,god dispense us from it4 ,trial   
then only stops when it is useless3 that
 is why it scarcely ever stops4 ,faith  
in the justice and love of the ,father  
is the best and indeed the only support 
under the sufferings of this life4 ,the 
foundation of all of our pains is       
unbelief2 we doubt whether what happens 
to us ought to happen to us2 we think   
ourselves wiser than providence1 because
 to avoid fatalism we believe in        
accident4 ,liberty in submission--what a
 problem6 ,and yet that is what we must 
always come back to4  ,may #g1          
#ahef4--;,i have been reading           
,rosenkrantz's 8,history of ,poetry0    
,footnote3 8,geschichte der ,poesie10 by
 ,rosenkrantz1 the pupil and biographer 
of ,hegel all day3 it touches upon all  
the great names of ,spain1 ,portugal1   
and ,france1 as far as ,louis ,,xv4 ,it 
is a good thing to take these rapid     
surveys2 the shifting point of view     

gives a perpetual freshness to the      
subject and to the ideas presented1 a   
literary experience which is always     
pleasant and bracing4 ,for one of my    
temperament1 this philosophic and       
morphological mode of embracing and     
expounding literary history has a strong
 attraction4 ,but it is the antipodes of
 the ,french method of proceeding1 which
 takes1 as it were1 only the peaks of   
the subject1 links them together by     
theoretical figures and triangulations1 
and then assumes these lines to         
represent the genuine face of the       
country4 ,the real process of formation 
of a general opinion1 of a public taste1
 of an established genre1 cannot be laid
 bare by an abstract method1 which      
suppresses the period of growth in favor
 of the final fruit1 which prefers      
clearness of outline to fullness of     
statement1 and sacrifices the           
preparation to the result1 the multitude
 to the chosen type4 ,this ,french      
method1 however1 is eminently           

characteristic1 and it is linked by     
invisible ties to their respect for     
custom and fashion1 to the ,catholic and
 dualist instinct which admits two      
truths1 two contradictory worlds1 and   
accepts quite naturally what is magical1
 incomprehensible1 and arbitrary in     
,god1 the king1 or language4 ,it is the 
philosophy of accident become habit1    
instinct1 nature and belief1 it is the  
religion of caprice4  ,by one of those  
eternal contrasts which redress the     
balance of things1 the romance peoples1 
who excel in the practical matters of   
life1 care nothing for the philosophy of
 it2 while the ,germans1 who know very  
little about the practice of life1 are  
masters of its theory4 ,every living    
being seeks instinctively to complete   
itself2 this is the secret law according
 to which that nation whose sense of    
life is fullest and keenest1 drifts most
 readily toward a mathematical rigidity 
of theory4 ,matter and form are the     
eternal oppositions1 and the            

mathematical intellects are often       
attracted by the facts of life1 just as 
the sensuous minds are often drawn      
toward the study of abstract law4 ,thus 
strangely enough1 what we think we are  
is just what we are not3 what we desire 
to be is what suits us least2 our       
theories condemn us1 and our practice   
gives the lie to our theories4 ,and the 
contradiction is an advantage1 for it is
 the source of conflict1 of movement1   
and therefore a condition of progress4  
,every life is an inward struggle1 every
 struggle supposes two contrary forces2 
nothing real is simple1 and whatever    
thinks itself simple is in reality the  
farthest from simplicity4 ,therefore it 
would seem that every state is a moment 
in a series2 every being a compromise   
between contraries4 ,in concrete        
dialectic we have the key which opens to
 us the understanding of beings in the  
series of beings1 of states in the      
series of moments2 and it is in dynamics
 that we have the explanation of        

equilibrium4 ,every situation is an     
equilibrium of forces2 every life is a  
struggle between opposing forces working
 within the limits of a certain         
equilibrium4  ,these two principles have
 been often clear to me1 but ,i have    
never applied them widely or rigorously 
enough4  ,july #a1 #ahef4--;,a man and  
still more a woman1 always betrays      
something of his or her nationality4    
,the women of ,russia1 for instance1    
like the lakes and rivers of their      
native country1 seem to be subject to   
sudden and prolonged fits of torpor4 ,in
 their movement1 undulating and         
caressing like that of water1 there is  
always a threat of unforeseen frost4    
,the high latitude1 the difficulty of   
life1 the inflexibility of their        
autocratic rgime1 the heavy and mournful
 sky1 the inexorable climate1 all these 
harsh fatalities have left their mark   
upon the ,muscovite race4 ,a certain    
somber obstinacy1 a kind of primitive   
ferocity1 a foundation of savage        

harshness which1 under the influence of 
circumstances1 might become implacable  
and pitiless2 a cold strength1 an       
indomitable power of resolution which   
would rather wreck the whole world than 
yield1 the indestructible instinct of   
the barbarian tribe1 perceptible in the 
half-civilized nation1 all these traits 
are visible to an attentive eye1 even in
 the harmless extravagances and caprices
 of a young woman of this powerful race4
 ,even in their badinage they betray    
something of that fierce and rigid      
nationality which burns its own towns   
and as ,napoleon said keeps battalions  
of dead soldiers on their feet4  ,what  
terrible rulers the ,russians would be  
if ever they should spread the night of 
their rule over the countries of the    
south6 ,they would bring us a polar     
despotism1 tyranny such as the world has
 never known1 silent as darkness1 rigid 
as ice1 insensible as bronze1 decked    
with an outer amiability and glittering 
with the cold brilliancy of snow1 a     

slavery without compensation or relief4 
,probably1 however1 they will gradually 
lose both the virtues and the defects of
 their semi-barbarism4 ,the centuries as
 they pass will ripen these sons of the 
north1 and they will enter into the     
concert of peoples in some other        
capacity than as a menace or a          
dissonance4 ,they have only to transform
 their hardiness into strength1 their   
cunning into grace1 their ,muscovitism  
into humanity1 to win love instead of   
inspiring aversion or fear4  ,july #c1  
#ahef4--,the ,german admires form1 but  
he has no genius for it4 ,he is the     
opposite of the ,greek2 he has critical 
instinct1 aspiration1 and desire1 but no
 serene command of beauty4 ,the south1  
more artistic1 more self-satisfied1 more
 capable of execution1 rests idly in the
 sense of its own power to achieve4 ,on 
one side you have ideas1 on the other   
side1 talent4 ,the realm of ,germany is 
beyond the clouds2 that of the southern 
peoples is on this earth4 ,the ,germanic

 race thinks and feels2 the southerners 
feel and express2 the ,anglo-,saxons    
will and do4 ,to know1 to feel1 to act1 
there you have the trio of ,germany1    
,italy1 ,england4 ,france formulates1   
speaks1 decides1 and laughs4 ,thought1  
talent1 will1 speech2 or1 in other words
 science1 art1 action1 proselytism4 ,so 
the parts of the quartet are assigned4  
,july #ba1 #ahef4--,mit sack und pack   
here ,i am back again in my town rooms4 
,i have said good-bye to my friends and 
my country joys1 to verdure1 flowers1   
and happiness4 ,why did ,i leave them   
after all8 ,the reason ,i gave myself   
was that ,i was anxious about my poor   
uncle1 who is ill4 ,but at bottom are   
there not other reasons8 ,yes1 several4 
,there is the fear of making myself a   
burden upon the two or three families of
 friends who show me incessant kindness1
 for which ,i can make no return4 ,there
 are my books1 which call me back4      
,there is the wish to keep faith with   
myself4 ,but all that would be nothing1 

,i think1 without another instinct1 the 
instinct of the wandering ,jew1 which   
snatches from me the cup ,i have but    
just raised to my lips1 which forbids me
 any prolonged enjoyment1 and cries 8go 
forward6 ,let there be no falling       
asleep1 no stopping1 no attaching       
yourself to this or that60 ,this        
restless feeling is not the need of     
change4 ,it is rather the fear of what  
,i love1 the mistrust of what charms me1
 the unrest of happiness4 ,what a       
bizarre tendency1 and what a strange    
nature6 not to be able to enjoy anything
 simply1 navely1 without scruple1 to    
feel a force upon one impelling one to  
leave the table1 for fear the meal      
should come to an end4 ,contradiction   
and mystery6 not to use1 for fear of    
abusing2 to think one's self obliged to 
go1 not because one has had enough1 but 
because one has stayed awhile4 ,i am    
indeed always the same2 the being who   
wanders when he need not1 the voluntary 
exile1 the eternal traveler1 the man    

incapable of repose1 who1 driven on by  
an inward voice1 builds nowhere1 buys   
and labors nowhere1 but passes1 looks1  
camps1 and goes4 ,and is there not      
another reason for all this             
restlessness1 in a certain sense of     
void8 of incessant pursuit of something 
wanting8 of longing for a truer peace   
and a more entire satisfaction8         
,neighbors1 friends1 relations1 ,i love 
them all2 and so long as these          
affections are active1 they leave in me 
no room for a sense of want4 ,but yet   
they do not fill my heart2 and that is  
why they have no power to fix it4 ,i am 
always waiting for the woman and the    
work which shall be capable of taking   
entire possession of my soul1 and of    
becoming my end and aim4    8,promenant 
par tout sjour   ,le deuil que tu cles1 
,psych-papillon1 un jour   ,puisses-tu  
trouver l'amour   ,et perdre tes ailes60
  ,i have not given away my heart3 hence
 this restlessness of spirit4 ,i will   
not let it be taken captive by that     

which cannot fill and satisfy it2 hence 
this instinct of pitiless detachment    
from all that charms me without         
permanently binding me2 so that it seems
 as if my love of movement1 which looks 
so like inconstancy1 was at bottom only 
a perpetual search1 a hope1 a desire1   
and a care1 the malady of the ideal4    
444 ,life indeed must always be a       
compromise between common sense and the 
ideal1 the one abating nothing of its   
demands1 the other accommodating itself 
to what is practicable and real4 ,but   
marriage by common sense6 arrived at by 
a bargain6 ,can it be anything but a    
profanation8 ,on the other1 hand1 is    
that not a vicious ideal which hinders  
life from completing itself1 and        
destroys the family in germ8 ,is there  
not too much of pride in my ideal1 pride
 which will not accept the common       
destiny8444  ,noon4--,i have been       
dreaming--my head in my hand4 ,about    
what8 ,about happiness4 ,i have as it   
were1 been asleep on the fatherly breast

 of ,god4 ,his will be done6  ,august   
#c1 #ahef4--;,a delightful ,sunday      
afternoon at ,pressy4 ,returned late1   
under a great sky magnificently starred1
 with summer lightning playing from a   
point behind the ,jura4 ,drunk with     
poetry1 and overwhelmed by sensation    
after sensation1 ,i came back slowly1   
blessing the ,god of life1 and plunged  
in the joy of the infinite4 ,one thing  
only ,i lacked1 a soul with whom to     
share it all--for emotion and enthusiasm
 overflowed like water from a full cup4 
,the ,milky ,way1 the great black       
poplars1 the ripple of the waves1 the   
shooting stars1 distant songs1 the      
lamp-lit town1 all spoke to me in the   
language of poetry4 ,i felt myself      
almost a poet4 ,the wrinkles of science 
disappeared under the magic breath of   
admiration2 the old elasticity of soul1 
trustful1 free1 and living was mine once
 more4 ,i was once more young1 capable  
of self-abandonment and of love4 ,all my
 barrenness had disappeared2 the        

heavenly dew had fertilized the dead and
 gnarled stick2 it began to be green and
 flower again4 ,my ,god1 how wretched   
should we be without beauty6 ,but with  
it1 everything is born afresh in us2 the
 senses1 the heart1 imagination1 reason1
 will1 come together like the dead bones
 of the prophet1 and become one single  
and self-same energy4 ,what is happiness
 if it is not this plentitude of        
existence1 this close union with the    
universal and divine life8 ,i have been 
happy a whole half day1 and ,i have been
 brooding over my joy1 steeping myself  
in it to the very depths of             
consciousness4  ,october #bb1           
#ahef4--,we must learn to look upon life
 as an apprenticeship to a progressive  
renunciation1 a perpetual diminution in 
our pretensions1 our hopes1 our powers1 
and our liberty4 ,the circle grows      
narrower and narrower2 we began with    
being eager to learn everything1 to see 
everything1 to tame and conquer         
everything1 and in all directions we    

reach our limit--non plus ultra4        
,fortune1 glory1 love1 power1 health1   
happiness1 long life1 all these         
blessings which have been possessed by  
other men seem at first promised and    
accessible to us1 and then we have to   
put the dream away from us1 to withdraw 
one personal claim after another to make
 ourselves small and humble1 to submit  
to feel ourselves limited1 feeble1      
dependent1 ignorant and poor1 and to    
throw ourselves upon ,god for all1      
recognizing our own worthlessness1 and  
that we have no right to anything4 ,it  
is in this nothingness that we recover  
something of life--the divine spark is  
there at the bottom of it4 ,resignation 
comes to us1 and1 in believing love1 we 
reconquer the true greatness4  ,october 
#bg1 #ahef4--;,in all the chief matters 
of life we are alone1 and our true      
history is scarcely ever deciphered by  
others4 ,the chief part of the drama is 
a monologue1 rather an intimate debate  
between ,god1 our conscience1 and       

ourselves4 ,tears1 griefs1 depressions1 
disappointments1 irritations1 good and  
evil thoughts1 decisions1 uncertainties1
 deliberations1 all these belong to our 
secret1 and are almost all              
incommunicable and intransmissible1 even
 when we try to speak of them1 and even 
when we write them down4 ,what is most  
precious in us never shows itself1 never
 finds an issue even in the closest     
intimacy4 ,only a part of it reaches our
 consciousness1 it scarcely enters into 
action except in prayer1 and is perhaps 
only perceived by ,god1 for our past    
rapidly becomes strange to us4 ,our     
monad may be influenced by other monads1
 but none the less does it remain       
impenetrable to them in its essence2 and
 we ourselves1 when all is said1 remain 
outside our own mystery4 ,the center of 
our consciousness is unconscious1 as the
 kernel of the sun is dark4 ,all that we
 are1 desire1 do1 and know1 is more or  
less superficial1 and below the rays and
 lightnings of our periphery there      

remains the darkness of unfathomable    
substance4  ,i was then well-advised    
when1 in my theory of the inner man1 ,i 
placed at the foundation of the self1   
after the seven spheres which the self  
contains had been successively          
disengaged1 a lowest depth of darkness1 
the abyss of the un-revealed1 the       
virtual pledge of an infinite future1   
the obscure self1 the pure subjectivity 
which is incapable of realizing itself  
in mind1 conscience1 or reason1 in the  
soul1 the heart1 the imagination1 or the
 life of the senses1 and which makes for
 itself attributes and conditions out of
 all these forms of its own life4  ,but 
the obscure only exists that it may     
cease to exist4 ,in it lies the         
opportunity of all victory and all      
progress4 ,whether it call itself       
fatality1 death1 night1 or matter1 it is
 the pedestal of life1 of light1 of     
liberty1 and the spirit4 ,for it        
represents resistance--that is to say1  
the fulcrum of all activity1 the        

occasion for its development and its    
triumph4  ,december #ag1 #ahef4--,this  
evening was the second quartet concert4 
,it stirred me much more than the first2
 the music chosen was loftier and       
stronger4 ,it was the quartet in ,d     
minor of ,mozart1 and the quartet in ,c 
major of ,beethoven1 separated by a     
,spohr concerto4 ,this last1 vivid1 and 
brilliant as a whole1 has fire in the   
allegro1 feeling in the adagio1 and     
elegance in the finale1 but it is the   
product of one fine gift in a mediocre  
personality4 ,with the two others you   
are at once in contact with genius2 you 
are admitted to the secrets of two great
 souls4 ,mozart stands for inward       
liberty1 ,beethoven for the power of    
enthusiasm4 ,the one sets us free1 the  
other ravishes us out of ourselves4 ,i  
do not think ,i ever felt more          
distinctly than to-day1 or with more    
intensity1 the difference between these 
two masters4 ,their two personalities   
became transparent to me1 and ,i seemed 

to read them to their depths4  ,the work
 of ,mozart1 penetrated as it is with   
mind and thought1 represents a solved   
problem1 a balance struck between       
aspiration and executive capacity1 the  
sovereignty of a grace which is always  
mistress of itself1 marvelous harmony   
and perfect unity4 ,his quartet         
describes a day in one of those ,attic  
souls who pre-figure on earth the       
serenity of ,elysium4 ,the first scene  
is a pleasant conversation1 like that of
 ,socrates on the banks of the ,ilissus2
 its chief mark is an exquisite         
urbanity4 ,the second scene is deeply   
pathetic4 ,a cloud has risen in the blue
 of this ,greek heaven4 ,a storm1 such  
as life inevitably brings with it1 even 
in the case of great souls who love and 
esteem each other1 has come to trouble  
the original harmony4 ,what is the cause
 of it--a misunderstanding1 apiece of   
neglect8 ,impossible to say1 but it     
breaks out notwithstanding4 ,the andante
 is a scene of reproach and complaint1  

but as between immortals4 ,what         
loftiness in complaint1 what dignity1   
what feeling1 what noble sweetness in   
reproach6 ,the voice trembles and grows 
graver1 but remains affectionate and    
dignified4 ,then1 the storm has passed1 
the sun has come back1 the explanation  
has taken place1 peace is               
re-established4 ,the third scene paints 
the brightness of reconciliation4 ,love1
 in its restored confidence1 and as     
though in sly self-testing1 permits     
itself even gentle mocking and friendly 
badinage4 ,and the finale brings us back
 to that tempered gaiety and happy      
serenity1 that supreme freedom1 flower  
of the inner life1 which is the leading 
motive of the whole composition4  ,in   
,beethoven's on the other hand1 a spirit
 of tragic irony paints for you the mad 
tumult of existence as it dances forever
 above the threatening abyss of the     
infinite4 ,no more unity1 no more       
satisfaction1 no more serenity6 ,we are 
spectators of the eternal duel between  

the great forces1 that of the abyss     
which absorbs all finite things1 and    
that of life which defends and asserts  
itself1 expands1 and enjoys4 ,the first 
bars break the seals and open the       
caverns of the great deep4 ,the struggle
 begins4 ,it is long4 ,life is born1 and
 disports itself gay and careless as the
 butterfly which flutters above a       
precipice4 ,then it expands the realm of
 its conquests1 and chants its          
successes4 ,it founds a kingdom1 it     
constructs a system of nature4 ,but the 
typhon rises from the yawning gulf1 and 
the ,titans beat upon the gates of the  
new empire4 ,a battle of giants begins4 
,you hear the tumultuous efforts of the 
powers of chaos4 ,life triumphs at last1
 but the victory is not final1 and      
through all the intoxication of it there
 is a certain note of terror and        
bewilderment4 ,the soul of ,beethoven   
was a tormented soul4 ,the passion and  
the awe of the infinite seemed to toss  
it to and fro from heaven to hell1      

,hence its vastness4 ,which is the      
greater1 ,mozart or ,beethoven8 ,idle   
question6 ,the one is more perfect1 the 
other more colossal4 ,the first gives   
you the peace of perfect art1 beauty1 at
 first sight4 ,the second gives you     
sublimity1 terror1 pity1 a beauty of    
second impression4 ,the one gives that  
for which the other rouses a desire4    
,mozart has the classic purity of light 
and the blue ocean2 ,beethoven the      
romantic grandeur which belongs to the  
storms of air and sea1 and while the    
soul of ,mozart seems to dwell on the   
ethereal peaks of ,olympus1 that of     
,beethoven climbs shuddering the        
storm-beaten sides of a ,sinai4 ,blessed
 be they both6 ,each represents a moment
 of the ideal life1 each does us good4  
,our love is due to both4         99    
99       99       99       99  ,to judge
 is to see clearly1 to care for what is 
just and therefore to be impartial1 more
 exactly1 to be disinterested1 more     
exactly still1 to be impersonal4        

99       99       99       99       99  
,to do easily what is difficult for     
others is the mark of talent4 ,to do    
what is impossible for talent is the    
mark of genius4         99       99     
99       99       99  ,our duty is to be
 useful1 not according to our desires   
but according to our powers4         99 
99       99       99       99  ,if      
nationality is consent1 the state is    
compulsion4         99       99       99
       99       99  ,self-interest is   
but the survival of the animal in us4   
,humanity only begins for man with      
self-surrender4         99       99     
99       99       99  ,the man who      
insists upon seeing with perfect        
clearness before he decides1 never      
decides4 ,accept life1 and you must     
accept regret4         99       99      
99       99       99  ,without passion  
man is a mere latent force and          
possibility1 like the flint which awaits
 the shock of the iron before it can    
give forth its spark4  ,february #c1    

#aheg4--,the phantasmagoria of the soul 
cradles and soothes me as though ,i were
 an ,indian yoghi1 and everything1 even 
my own life1 becomes to me smoke1       
shadow1 vapor1 and illusion4 ,i hold so 
lightly to all phenomena that they end  
by passing over me like gleams over a   
landscape1 and are gone without leaving 
any impression4 ,thought is a kind of   
opium2 it can intoxicate us1 while still
 broad awake2 it can make transparent   
the mountains and everything that       
exists4 ,it is by love only that one    
keeps hold upon reality1 that one       
recovers one's proper self1 that one    
becomes again will1 force1 and          
individuality4 ,love could do everything
 with me2 by myself and for myself ,i   
prefer to be nothing4444  ,i have the   
imagination of regret and not that of   
hope4 ,my clear-sightedness is          
retrospective1 and the result with me of
 disinterestedness and prudence is that 
,i attach myself to what ,i have no     
chance of obtaining4444  ,may #bg1      

#aheg4 7,vandoeuvres4 ,footnote3 ,also a
 village in the neighborhood of         
,geneva47--,we are going down to ,geneva
 to hear the 8,tannhuser0 of ,richard   
,wagner performed at the theater by the 
,german troup now passing through4      
,wagner's is a powerful mind endowed    
with strong poetical sensitiveness4 ,his
 work is even more poetical than        
musical4 ,the suppression of the lyrical
 element1 and therefore of melody1 is   
with him a systematic parti pris4 ,no   
more duos or trios2 monologue and the   
aria are alike done away with4 ,there   
remains only declamation1 the           
recitative1 and the choruses4 ,in order 
to avoid the conventional in singing1   
,wagner falls into another              
convention--that of not singing at all4 
,he subordinates the voice to articulate
 speech1 and for fear lest the muse     
should take flight he clips her wings4  
,so that his works are rather symphonic 
dramas than operas4 ,the voice is       
brought down to the rank of an          

instrument1 put on a level with the     
violins1 the hautboys1 and the drums1   
and treated instrumentally4 ,man is     
deposed from his superior position1 and 
the center of gravity of the work passes
 into the baton of the conductor4 ,it is
 music depersonalized1 neo-,hegelian    
music--music multiple instead of        
individual4 ,if this is so1 it is indeed
 the music of the future1 the music of  
the socialist democracy replacing the   
art which is aristocratic1 heroic1 or   
subjective4  ,the overture pleased me   
even less than at the first hearing3 it 
is like nature before man appeared4     
,everything in it is enormous1 savage1  
elementary1 like the murmur of forests  
and the roar of animals4 ,it is         
forbidding and obscure1 because man1    
that is to say1 mind1 the key of the    
enigma1 personality1 the spectator1 is  
wanting to it4  ,the idea of the piece  
is grand4 ,it is nothing less than the  
struggle of passion and pure love1 of   
flesh and spirit1 of the animal and the 

angel in man4 ,the music is always      
expressive1 the choruses very beautiful1
 the orchestration skillful1 but the    
whole is fatiguing and excessive1 too   
full1 too laborious4 ,when all is said1 
it lacks gayety1 ease1 naturalness and  
vivacity--it has no smile1 no wings4    
,poetically one is fascinated1 but one's
 musical enjoyment is hesitating1 often 
doubtful1 and one recalls nothing but   
the general impression--,wagner's music 
represents the abdication of the self1  
and the emancipation of all the forces  
once under its rule4 ,it is a falling   
back into ,spinozism--the triumph of    
fatality4 ,this music has its root and  
its fulcrum in two tendencies of the    
epoch1 materialism and socialism--each  
of them ignoring the true value of the  
human personality1 and drowning it in   
the totality of nature or of society4   
,june #ag1 #aheg4 7,vandoeuvres74--,i   
have just followed ,maine de ,biran from
 his twenty-eighth to his forty-eighth  
year by means of his journal1 and a     

crowd of thoughts have besieged me4 ,let
 me disengage those which concern       
myself4 ,in this eternal self-chronicler
 and observer ,i seem to see myself     
reflected with all my faults1           
indecision1 discouragement1             
over-dependence on sympathy1 difficulty 
of finishing1 with my habit of watching 
myself feel and live1 with my growing   
incapacity for practical action1 with my
 aptitude for psychological study4 ,but 
,i have also discovered some differences
 which cheer and console me4 ,this      
nature is1 as it were1 only one of the  
men which exist in me4 ,it is one of my 
departments4 ,it is not the whole of my 
territory1 the whole of my inner        
kingdom4 ,intellectually1 ,i am more    
objective and more constructive2 my     
horizon is vaster2 ,i have seen much    
more of men1 things1 countries1 peoples 
and books2 ,i have a greater mass of    
experiences--in a word1 ,i feel that ,i 
have more culture1 greater wealth1      
range1 and freedom of mind1 in spite of 

my wants1 my limits1 and my weaknesses4 
,why does ,maine de ,biran make will the
 whole of man8 ,perhaps because he had  
too little will4 ,a man esteems most    
highly what he himself lacks1 and       
exaggerates what he longs to possess4   
,another incapable of thought1 and      
meditation1 would have made             
self-consciousness the supreme thing4   
,only the totality of things has an     
objective value4 ,as soon as one        
isolates a part from the whole1 as soon 
as one chooses1 the choice is           
involuntarily and instinctively dictated
 by subjective inclinations which obey  
one or other of the two opposing laws1  
the attraction of similars or the       
affinity of contraries4  ,five          
o'clock4--,the morning has passed like a
 dream4 ,i went on with the journal of  
,maine de ,biran down to the end of     
#ahag4 ,after dinner ,i passed my time  
with the birds in the open air1         
wandering in the shady walks which wind 
along under ,pressy4 ,the sun was       

brilliant and the air clear4 ,the midday
 orchestra of nature was at its best4   
,against the humming background made by 
a thousand invisible insects there rose 
the delicate caprices and improvisations
 of the nightingale singing from the    
ash-trees1 or of the hedge-sparrows and 
the chaffinches in their nests4 ,the    
hedges are hung with wild roses1 the    
scent of the acacia still perfumes the  
paths2 the light down of the poplar     
seeds floated in the air like a kind of 
warm1 fair-weather snow4 ,i felt myself 
as gay as a butterfly4 ,on coming in ,i 
read the three first books of that poem 
8,corinne10 which ,i have not seen since
 ,i was a youth4 ,now as ,i read it     
again1 ,i look at it across interposing 
memories2 the romantic interest of it   
seems to me to have vanished1 but not   
the poetical1 pathetic1 or moral        
interest4  ,june #ahth4--,i have just   
been spending three hours in the orchard
 under the shade of the hedge1 combining
 the spectacle of a beautiful morning   

with reading and taking a turn between  
each chapter4 ,now the sky is again     
covered with its white veil of cloud1   
and ,i have come up with ,biran1 whose  
8,pense0 ,i have just finished1 and     
,corinne1 whom ,i have followed with    
,oswald in their excursions among the   
monuments of the eternal city4 ,nothing 
is so melancholy and wearisome as this  
journal of ,maine de ,biran4 ,this      
unchanging monotony of perpetual        
reflection has an enervating and        
depressing effect upon one4 ,here1 then1
 is the life of a distinguished man seen
 in its most intimate aspects6 ,it is   
one long repetition1 in which the only  
change is an almost imperceptible       
displacement of center in the writer's  
manner of viewing himself4 ,this thinker
 takes thirty years to move from the    
,epicurean quietude to the quietism of  
,fnlon1 and this only speculatively1 for
 his practical life remains the same1   
and all his anthropological discovery   
consists in returning to the theory of  

the three lives1 lower1 human1 and      
higher1 which is in ,pascal and in      
,aristotle4 ,and this is what they call 
a philosopher in ,france6 ,beside the   
great philosophers1 how poor and narrow 
seems such an intellectual life6 ,it is 
the journey of an ant1 bounded by the   
limits of a field2 of a mole1 who spends
 his days in the construction of a      
mole-hill4 ,how narrow and stifling the 
swallow who flies across the whole ,old 
,world1 and whose sphere of life        
embraces ,africa and ,europe1 would find
 the circle with which the mole and the 
ant are content6 ,this volume of ,biran 
produces in me a sort of asphyxia2 as ,i
 assimilate it1 it seems to paralyze me2
 ,i am chained to it by some spell of   
secret sympathy4 ,i pity1 and ,i am     
afraid of my pity1 for ,i feel how near 
,i am to the same evils and the same    
faults4444  ,ernest ,naville's          
introductory essay is full of interest1 
written in a serious and noble style2   
but it is almost as sad as it is ripe   

and mature4 ,what displeases me in it a 
little is its exaggeration of the merits
 of ,biran4 ,for the rest1 the small    
critical impatience which the volume has
 stirred in me will be gone by          
to-morrow4 ,maine de ,biran is an       
important link in the ,french literary  
tradition4 ,it is from him that our     
,swiss critics descend1 ,naville father 
and son1 ,secrtan4 ,he is the source of 
our best contemporary psychology1 for   
,stapfer1 ,royer-,collard1 and ,cousin  
called him their master1 and ,ampre1 his
 junior by nine years1 was his friend4  
,july #be1 #aheg4 7,vandoeuvres74--,at  
ten o'clock this evening1 under a       
starlit sky1 a group of rustics under   
the windows of the salon employed       
themselves in shouting disagreeable     
songs4 ,why is it that this tuneless    
shrieking of false notes and scoffing   
words delights these people8 ,why is it 
that this ostentatious parade of        
ugliness1 this jarring vulgarity and    
grimacing is their way of finding       

expression and expansion in the great   
solitary and tranquil night8  ,why8     
,because of a sad and secret instinct4  
,because of the need they have of       
realizing themselves as individuals1 of 
asserting themselves exclusively1       
egotistically1 idolatrously--opposing   
the self in them to everything else1    
placing it in harsh contrast with the   
nature which enwraps us1 with the poetry
 which raises us above ourselves1 with  
the harmony which binds us to others1   
with the adoration which carries us     
toward ,god4 ,no1 no1 no6 ,myself only1 
and that is enough6 ,myself by negation1
 by ugliness1 by grimace and irony6     
,myself1 in my caprice1 in my           
independence1 in my irresponsible       
sovereignty2 myself1 set free by        
laughter1 free as the demons are1 and   
exulting in my freedom2 ,i1 master of   
myself1 invincible and self-sufficient1 
living for this one time yet by and for 
myself6 ,this is what seems to me at the
 bottom of this merry-making4 ,one hears

 in it an echo of ,satan1 the temptation
 to make self the center of all things1 
to be like an ,elohim1 the worst and    
last revolt of man4 ,it means also1     
perhaps1 some rapid perception of what  
is absolute in personality1 some rough  
exaltation of the subject1 the          
individual1 who thus claims1 by abasing 
them1 the rights of subjective          
existence4 ,if so1 it is the caricature 
of our most precious privilege1 the     
parody of our apotheosis1 a vulgarizing 
of our highest greatness4 ,shout away1  
then1 drunkards6 ,your ignoble concert1 
with all its repulsive vulgarity1 still 
reveals to us1 without knowing it1      
something of the majesty of life and the
 sovereign power of the soul4           
,september #ae1 #aheg4--;,i have just   
finished ,sismondi's journal and        
correspondence4 ,sismondi is essentially
 the honest man1 conscientious1 upright1
 respectable1 the friend of the public  
good and the devoted upholder of a great
 cause1 the amelioration of the common  

lot of men4 ,character and heart are the
 dominant elements in his individuality1
 and cordiality is the salient feature  
of his nature4 ,sismondi's is a most    
encouraging example4 ,with average      
faculties1 very little imagination1 not 
much taste1 not much talent1 without    
subtlety of feeling1 without great      
elevation or width or profundity of     
mind1 he yet succeeded in achieving a   
career which was almost illustrious1 and
 he has left behind him some sixty      
volumes1 well-known and well spoken of4 
,how was this8 ,his love for men on the 
one side1 and his passion for work on   
the other1 are the two factors in his   
fame4 ,in political economy1 in literary
 or political history1 in personal      
action1 ,sismondi showed no             
genius--scarcely talent2 but in all he  
did there was solidity1 loyalty1 good   
sense and integrity4 ,the poetical1     
artistic and philosophic sense is       
deficient in him1 but he attracts and   
interests us by his moral sense4 ,we see

 in him the sincere writer1 a man of    
excellent heart1 a good citizen and warm
 friend1 worthy and honest in the widest
 sense of terms1 not brilliant1 but     
inspiring trust and confidence by his   
character1 his principles and his       
virtues4 ,more than this1 he is the best
 type of good ,genevese liberalism1     
republican but not democratic1          
,protestant but not ,calvinist1 human   
but not socialist1 progressive but      
without any sympathy with violence4 ,he 
was a conservative without either       
egotism or hypocrisy1 a patriot without 
narrowness4 ,in his theories he was     
governed by experience and observation1 
and in his practice by general ideas4 ,a
 laborious philanthropist1 the past and 
the present were to him but fields of   
study1 from which useful lessons might  
be gleaned4 ,positive and reasonable in 
temper1 his mind was set upon a high    
average well-being for human society1   
and his efforts were directed toward    
founding such a social science as might 

most readily promote it4  ,september    
#bd1 #aheg4--;,in the course of much    
thought yesterday about 8,atala0 and    
8,ren10 ,chteaubriand became clear to   
me4 ,i saw in him a great artist but not
 a great man1 immense talent but a still
 vaster pride--a nature at once devoured
 with ambition and unable to find       
anything to love or admire in the world 
except itself--indefatigable in labor   
and capable of everything except of true
 devotion1 self-sacrifice and faith4    
,jealous of all success1 he was always  
on the opposition side1 that he might be
 the better able to disavow all services
 received1 and to hold aloof from any   
other glory but his own4 ,legitimist    
under the empire1 a parliamentarian     
tinder the legitimist rgime1 republican 
under the constitutional monarchy1      
defending ,christianity when ,france was
 philosophical1 and taking a distaste   
for religion as soon as it became once  
more a serious power1 the secret of     
these endless contradictions in him was 

simply the desire to reign alone like   
the sun--a devouring thirst for         
applause1 an incurable and insatiable   
vanity1 which1 with the true1 fierce    
instinct of tyranny1 would endure no    
brother near the throne4 ,a man of      
magnificent imagination but of poor     
character1 of indisputable power1 but   
cursed with a cold egotism and an       
incurable barrenness of feeling1 which  
made it impossible for him to tolerate  
about him anybody but slaves or adorers4
 ,a tormented soul and miserable life1  
when all is said1 under its aureole of  
glory and its crown of laurels6         
,essentially jealous and choleric1      
,chteaubriand from the beginning was    
inspired by mistrust1 by the passion for
 contradicting1 for crushing and        
conquering4 ,this motive may always be  
traced in him4 ,rousseau seems to me his
 point of departure1 the man who        
suggested to him by contrast and        
opposition all his replies and attacks1 
,rousseau is revolutionary3             

,chteaubriand therefore writes his      
8,essay on ,revolutions40 ,rousseau is  
republican and ,protestant2             
,chteaubriand will be royalist and      
,catholic4 ,rousseau is bourgeois2      
,chateaubriand will glorify nothing but 
noble birth1 honor1 chivalry and deeds  
of arms4 ,rousseau conquered nature for 
,french letters1 above all the nature of
 the mountains and of the ,swiss and    
,savoy1 and lakes4 ,he pleaded for her  
against civilization4 ,chteaubriand will
 take possession of a new and colossal  
nature1 of the ocean1 of ,america2 but  
he will make his savages speak the      
language of ,louis ,,xiv41 he will bow  
,atala before a ,catholic missionary1   
and sanctify passions born on the banks 
of the ,mississippi by the solemnities  
of ,catholic ceremonial4 ,rousseau was  
the apologist of reverie2 ,chteaubriand 
will build the monument of it in order  
to break it in ,ren4 ,rousseau preaches 
,deism with all his eloquence in the    
8,vicaire ,savoyard20 ,chteaubriand     

surrounds the ,roman creed with all the 
garlands of his poetry in the 8,gnie du 
,christianisme40 ,rousseau appeals to   
natural law and pleads for the future of
 nations2 ,chteaubriand will only sing  
the glories of the past1 the ashes of   
history and the noble ruins of empires4 
,always a rle to be filled1 cleverness  
to be displayed1 a parti-pris to be     
upheld and fame to be won--his theme1   
one of imagination1 his faith one to    
order1 but sincerity1 loyalty1 candor1  
seldom or never6 ,always a real         
indifference simulating a passion for   
truth2 always an imperious thirst for   
glory instead of devotion to the good2  
always the ambitious artist1 never the  
citizen1 the believer1 the man4         
,chteaubriand posed all his life as the 
wearied ,colossus1 smiling pitifully    
upon a pygmy world1 and contemptuously  
affecting to desire nothing from it1    
though at the same time wishing it to be
 believed that he could if he pleased   
possess himself of everything by mere   

force of genius4 ,he is the type of an  
untoward race1 and the father of a      
disagreeable lineage4  ,but to return to
 the two episodes4 8,ren0 seems to me   
very superior to 8,atala4'0 ,both the   
stories show a talent of the first rank1
 but of the two the beauty of 8,atala0  
is of the more transitory kind4 ,the    
attempt to render in the style of       
,versailles the loves of a ,natchez and 
a ,seminole1 and to describe the manners
 of the adorers of the ,manitous in the 
tone of ,catholic sentiment1 was an     
attempt too violent to succeed4 ,but the
 work is a tour de force of style1 and  
it was only by the polished classicism  
of the form1 that the romantic matter of
 the sentiments and the descriptions    
could have been imported into the       
colorless literature of the empire4     
8,atala0 is already old-fashioned and   
theatrical in all the parts which are   
not descriptive or ,european--that is to
 say1 throughout all the sentimental    
savagery4  8,ren0 is infinitely more    

durable4 ,its theme1 which is the malady
 of a whole generation--distaste for    
life brought about by idle reverie and  
the ravages of a vague and unmeasured   
ambition--is true to reality4 ,without  
knowing or wishing it1 ,chteaubriand has
 been sincere1 for ,ren is himself4     
,this little sketch is in every respect 
a masterpiece4 ,it is not1 like         
8,atala10 spoilt artistically by        
intentions alien to the subject1 by     
being made the means of expression of a 
particular tendency4 ,instead of taking 
a passion for ,ren1 indeed1 future      
generations will scorn and wonder at    
him2 instead of a hero they will see in 
him a pathological case2 but the work   
itself1 like the ,sphinx1 will endure4  
,a work of art will bear all kinds of   
interpretations2 each in turn finds a   
basis in it1 while the work itself1     
because it represents an idea1 and      
therefore partakes of the richness and  
complexity which belong to ideas1       
suffices for all and survives all4 ,a   

portrait proves whatever one asks of it4
 ,even in its forms of style1 in the    
disdainful generality of the terms in   
which the story is told1 in the         
terseness of the sentences1 in the      
sequence of the images and of the       
pictures1 traced with classic purity and
 marvelous vigor1 8,ren0 maintains its  
monumental character4 ,carved1 as it    
were1 in material of the present        
century1 with the tools of classical    
art1 8,ren0 is the immortal cameo of    
,chteaubriand4  ,we are never more      
discontented with others than when we   
are discontented with ourselves4 ,the   
consciousness of wrong-doing makes us   
irritable1 and our heart in its cunning 
quarrels with what is outside it1 in    
order that it may deafen the clamor     
within4         99       99       99    
99       99  ,the faculty of            
intellectual metamorphosis is the first 
and indispensable faculty of the critic2
 without it he is not apt at            
understanding other minds1 and ought1   

therefore1 if he love truth1 to hold his
 peace4 ,the conscientious critic must  
first criticise himself2 what we do not 
understand we have not the right to     
judge4         99       99       99     
99       99  ,june #ad1 #aheh4--,sadness
 and anxiety seem to be increasing upon 
me4 ,like cattle in a burning stable1 ,i
 cling to what consumes me1 to the      
solitary life which does me so much     
harm4 ,i let myself be devoured by      
inward suffering4444  ,yesterday1       
however1 ,i struggled against this fatal
 tendency4 ,i went out into the country1
 and the children's caresses restored to
 me something of serenity and calm4     
,after we had dined out of doors all    
three sang some songs and school hymns1 
which were delightful to listen to4 ,the
 spring fairy had been scattering       
flowers over the fields with lavish     
hands2 it was a little glimpse of       
paradise4 ,it is true1 indeed1 that the 
serpent too was not far off4 ,yesterday 
there was a robbery close by the house1 

and death had visited another neighbor4 
,sin and death lurk around every ,eden1 
and sometimes within it4 ,hence the     
tragic beauty1 the melancholy poetry of 
human destiny4 ,flowers1 shade1 a fine  
view1 a sunset sky1 joy1 grace1 feeling1
 abundance and serenity1 tenderness and 
song--here you have the element of      
beauty3 the dangers of the present and  
the treacheries of the future1 here is  
the element of pathos4 ,the fashion of  
this world passeth away4 ,unless we have
 laid hold upon eternity1 unless we take
 the religious view of life1 these      
bright1 fleeting days can only be a     
subject for terror4 ,happiness should be
 a prayer--and grief also4 ,faith in the
 moral order1 in the protecting         
fatherhood of ,god1 appeared to me in   
all its serious sweetness4    8,pense1  
aime1 agis et souffre en ,dieu   ,c'est 
la grande science40  ,july #ah1         
#aheh4--,to-day ,i have been deeply     
moved by the nostalgia of happiness and 
by the appeals of memory4 ,my old self1 

the dreams which used to haunt me in    
,germany1 passionate impulses1 high     
aspirations1 all revived in me at once  
with unexpected force4 ,the dread lest  
,i should have missed my destiny and    
stifled my true nature1 lest ,i should  
have buried myself alive1 passed through
 me like a shudder4 ,thirst for the     
unknown1 passionate love of life1 the   
yearning for the blue vaults of the     
infinite and the strange worlds of the  
ineffable1 and that sad ecstasy which   
the ideal wakens in its beholders--all  
these carried me away in a whirlwind of 
feeling that ,i cannot describe4 ,was it
 a warning1 a punishment1 a temptation8 
,was it a secret protest1 or a violent  
act of rebellion on the part of a nature
 which is unsatisfied8--the last agony  
of happiness and of a hope that will not
 die8  ,what raised all this storm8     
,nothing but a book--the first number of
 the 8,revue ,germanique40 ,the articles
 of ,dollfus1 ,renan1 ,littr1 ,montgut1 
,taillandier1 by recalling to me some   

old and favorite subjects1 made me      
forget ten wasted years1 and carried me 
back to my university life4 ,i was      
tempted to throw off my ,genevese garb  
and to set off1 stick in hand1 for any  
country that might offer--stripped and  
poor1 but still young1 enthusiastic1 and
 alive1 full of ardor and of faith4  444
 ,i have been dreaming alone since ten  
o'clock at the window1 while the stars  
twinkled among the clouds1 and the      
lights of the neighbors disappeared one 
by one in the houses round4 ,dreaming of
 what8 ,of the meaning of this tragic   
comedy which we call life4 ,alas6 alas6 
,i was as melancholy as the preacher4 ,a
 hundred years seemed to me a dream1    
life a breath1 and everything a nothing4
 ,what tortures of mind and soul1 and   
all that we may die in a few minutes6   
,what should interest us1 and why8      
8,le temps n'est rien pour l'me1 enfant1
 ta vie est pleine1   ,et ce jour vaut  
cent ans1 s'il te fait trouver ,dieu40  
,to make an object for myself1 to hope1 

to struggle1 seems to me more and more  
impossible and amazing4 ,at twenty ,i   
was the embodiment of curiosity1        
elasticity and spiritual ubiquity2 at   
thirty-seven ,i have not a will1 a      
desire1 or a talent left2 the fireworks 
of my youth have left nothing but a     
handful of ashes behind them4  ,december
 #ac1 #aheh4--;,consider yourself a     
refractory pupil for whom you are       
responsible as mentor and tutor4 ,to    
sanctify sinful nature1 by bringing it  
gradually under the control of the angel
 within us1 by the help of a holy ,god1 
is really the whole of ,christian       
pedagogy and of religious morals4 ,our  
work--my work--consists in taming1      
subduing1 evangelizing and angelizing   
the evil self2 and in restoring harmony 
with the good self4 ,salvation lies in  
abandoning the evil self in principle   
and in taking refuge with the other1 the
 divine self1 in accepting with courage 
and prayer the task of living with one's
 own demon1 and making it into a less   

and less rebellious instrument of good4 
,the ,abel in us must labor for the     
salvation of the ,cain4 ,to undertake it
 is to be converted1 and this conversion
 must be repeated day by day4 ,abel only
 redeems and touches ,cain by exercising
 him constantly in good works4 ,to do   
right is in one sense an act of         
violence2 it is suffering1 expiation1 a 
cross1 for it means the conquest and    
enslavement of self4 ,in another sense  
it is the apprenticeship to heavenly    
things1 sweet and secret joy1           
contentment and peace4 ,sanctification  
implies perpetual martyrdom1 but it is a
 martyrdom which glorifies4 ,a crown of 
thorns is the sad eternal symbol of the 
life of the saints4 ,the best measure of
 the profundity of any religious        
doctrine is given by its conception of  
sin and the cure of sin4  ,a duty is no 
sooner divined than from that very      
moment it becomes binding upon us4      
99       99       99       99       99  
,latent genius is but a presumption4    

,everything that can be1 is bound to    
come into being1 and what never comes   
into being is nothing4  ,july #ad1      
#ahei4--;,i have just read 8,faust0     
again4 ,alas1 every year ,i am          
fascinated afresh by this somber figure1
 this restless life4 ,it is the type of 
suffering toward which ,i myself        
gravitate1 and ,i am always finding in  
the poem words which strike straight to 
my heart4 ,immortal1 malign1 accursed   
type6 ,specter of my own conscience1    
ghost of my own torment1 image of the   
ceaseless struggle of the soul which has
 not yet found its true aliment1 its    
peace1 its faith--art thou not the      
typical example of a life which feeds   
upon itself1 because it has not found   
its ,god1 and which1 in its wandering   
flight across the worlds1 carries within
 it1 like a comet1 an inextinguishable  
flame of desire1 and an agony of        
incurable disillusion8 ,i also am       
reduced to nothingness1 and ,i shiver on
 the brink of the great empty abysses of

 my inner being1 stifled by longing for 
the unknown1 consumed with the thirst   
for the infinite1 prostrate before the  
ineffable4 ,i also am torn sometimes by 
this blind passion for life1 these      
desperate struggles for happiness1      
though more often ,i am a prey to       
complete exhaustion and taciturn        
despair4 ,what is the reason of it all8 
,doubt--doubt of one's self1 of thought1
 of men1 and of life--doubt which       
enervates the will and weakens all our  
powers1 which makes us forget ,god and  
neglect prayer and duty--that restless  
and corrosive doubt which makes         
existence impossible and meets all hope 
with satire4  ,july #ag1                
#ahei4--;,always and everywhere         
salvation is torture1 deliverance means 
death1 and peace lies in sacrifice4 ,if 
we would win our pardon1 we must kiss   
the fiery crucifix4 ,life is a series of
 agonies1 a ,calvary1 which we can only 
climb on bruised and aching knees4 ,we  
seek distractions2 we wander away2 we   

deafen and stupefy ourselves that we may
 escape the test2 we turn away oar eyes 
from the via dolorosa2 and yet there is 
no help for it--we must come back to it 
in the end4 ,what we have to recognize  
is that each of us carries within       
himself his own executioner--his demon1 
his hell1 in his sin2 that his sin is   
his idol1 and that this idol1 which     
seduces the desire of his heart1 is his 
curse4  ,die unto sin6 ,this great      
saying of ,christianity remains still   
the highest theoretical solution of the 
inner life4 ,only in it is there any    
peace of conscience2 and without this   
peace there is no peace4444  ,i have    
just read seven chapters of the gospel4 
,nothing calms me so much4 ,to do one's 
duty in love and obedience1 to do what  
is right--these are the ideas which     
remain with one4 ,to live in ,god and to
 do his work--this is religion1         
salvation1 life eternal2 this is both   
the effect and the sign of love and of  
the ,holy ,spirit2 this is the new man  

announced by ,jesus1 and the new life   
into which we enter by the second birth4
 ,to be born again is to renounce the   
old life1 sin1 and the natural man1 and 
to take to one's self another principle 
of life4 ,it is to exist for ,god with  
another self1 another will1 another     
love4  ,august #i1 #ahei4--,nature is   
forgetful3 the world is almost more so4 
,however little the individual may lend 
himself to it1 oblivion soon covers him 
like a shroud4 ,this rapid and          
inexorable expansion of the universal   
life1 which covers1 overflows1 and      
swallows up all individual being1 which 
effaces our existence and annuls all    
memory of us1 fills me with unbearable  
melancholy4 ,to be born1 to struggle1 to
 disappear--there is the whole ephemeral
 drama of human life4 ,except in a few  
hearts1 and not even always in one1 our 
memory passes like a ripple on the      
water1 or a breeze in the air4 ,if      
nothing in us is immortal1 what a small 
thing is life4 ,like a dream which      

trembles and dies at the first glimmer  
of dawn1 all my past1 all my present1   
dissolve in me1 and fall away from my   
consciousness at the moment when it     
returns upon itself4 ,i feel myself then
 stripped and empty1 like a convalescent
 who remembers nothing4 ,my travels1 my 
reading1 my studies1 my projects1 my    
hopes1 have faded from my mind4 ,it is a
 singular state4 ,all my faculties drop 
away from me like a cloak that one takes
 off1 like the chrysalis case of a      
larva4 ,i feel myself returning into a  
more elementary form4 ,i behold my own  
unclothing2 ,i forget1 still more than  
,i am forgotten2 ,i pass gently into the
 grave while still living1 and ,i feel1 
as it were1 the indescribable peace of  
annihilation1 and the dim quiet of the  
,nirvana4 ,i am conscious of the river  
of time passing before and in me1 of the
 impalpable shadows of life gliding past
 me1 but nothing breaks the cateleptic  
tranquillity which enwraps me4  ,i come 
to understand the ,buddhist trance of   

the ,soufis1 the kief of the ,turk1 the 
8ecstasy0 of the orientals1 and yet ,i  
am conscious all the time that the      
pleasure of it is deadly1 that1 like the
 use of opium or of hasheesh1 it is a   
kind of slow suicide1 inferior in all   
respects to the joys of action1 to the  
sweetness of love1 to the beauty of     
enthusiasm1 to the sacred savor of      
accomplished duty4 ,november #bh1       
#ahei4--,this evening ,i heard the first
 lecture of ,ernest ,naville ,footnote3 
,the well-known ,genevese preacher and  
writer1 ,ernest ,naville1 the son of a  
,genevese pastor1 was born in #ahaf1    
became professor at the ,academy of     
,geneva in #ahdd1 lost his post after   
the revolution of #ahdf1 and1 except for
 a short interval in #ahfj1 has since   
then held no official position4 ,his    
courses of theological lectures1        
delivered at intervals from #ahei       
onward1 were an extraordinary success4  
,they were at first confined to men     
only1 and an audience of two thousand   

persons sometimes assembled to hear     
them4 ,to literature he is mainly known 
as the editor of ,maine de ,biran's     
,journal4 on 8,the ,eternal ,life40 ,it 
was admirably sure in touch1 true1      
clear1 and noble throughout4 ,he proved 
that1 whether we would or no1 we were   
bound to face the question of another   
life4 ,beauty of character1 force of    
expression1 depth of thought1 were all  
equally visible in this extemporized    
address1 which was as closely reasoned  
as a book1 and can scarcely be          
disentangled from the quotations of     
which it was full4 ,the great room of   
the ,casino was full to the doors1 and  
one saw a fairly large number of white  
heads4  ,december #ac1 #ahei4--;,fifth  
lecture on 8,the ,eternal ,life0 78,the 
,proof of the ,gospel by the            
,supernatural407 ,the same talent and   
great eloquence2 but the orator does not
 understand that the supernatural must  
either be historically proved1 or1      
supposing it cannot be proved1 that it  

must renounce all pretensions to        
overstep the domain of faith and to     
encroach upon that of history and       
science4 ,he quotes ,strauss1 ,renan1   
,scherer1 but he touches only the letter
 of them1 not the spirit4 ,everywhere   
one sees the ,cartesian dualism and a   
striking want of the genetic1           
historical1 and critical sense4 ,the    
idea of a living evolution has not      
penetrated into the consciousness of the
 orator4 ,with every intention of       
dealing with things as they are1 he     
remains1 in spite of himself1 subjective
 and oratorical4 ,there is the          
inconvenience of handling a matter      
polemically instead of in the spirit of 
the student4 ,naville's moral sense is  
too strong for his discernment and      
prevents him from seeing what he does   
not wish to see4 ,in his metaphysic1    
will is placed above intelligence1 and  
in his personality the character is     
superior to the understanding1 as one   
might logically expect4 ,and the        

consequence is1 that he may prop up what
 is tottering1 but he makes no          
conquests2 he may help to preserve      
existing truths and beliefs1 but he is  
destitute of initiative or vivifying    
power4 ,he is a moralizing but not a    
suggestive or stimulating influence4 ,a 
popularizer1 apologist and orator of the
 greatest merit1 he is a schoolman at   
bottom2 his arguments are of the same   
type as those of the twelfth century1   
and he defends ,protestantism in the    
same way in which ,catholicism has been 
commonly defended4 ,the best way of     
demonstrating the insufficiency of this 
point of view is to show by history how 
incompletely it has been superseded4    
,the chimera of a simple and absolute   
truth is wholly ,catholic and           
anti-historic4 ,the mind of ,naville is 
mathematical and his objects moral4 ,his
 strength lies in mathematicizing       
morals4 ,as soon as it becomes a        
question of development1 metamorphosis1 
organization--as soon as he is brought  

into contact with the mobile world of   
actual life1 especially of the spiritual
 life1 he has no longer anything        
serviceable to say4 ,language is for him
 a system of fixed signs2 a man1 a      
people1 a book1 are so many geometrical 
figures of which we have only to        
discover the properties4  ,december     
#aeth4--,naville's sixth lecture1 an    
admirable one1 because it did nothing   
more than expound the ,christian        
doctrine of eternal life4 ,as an        
extempore performance--marvelously      
exact1 finished1 clear and noble1 marked
 by a strong and disciplined eloquence4 
,there was not a single reservation to  
make in the name of criticism1 history  
or philosophy4 ,it was all beautiful1   
noble1 true and pure4 ,it seems to me   
that ,naville has improved in the art of
 speech during these latter years4 ,he  
has always had a kind of dignified and  
didactic beauty1 but he has now added to
 it the contagious cordiality and warmth
 of feeling which complete the orator2  

he moves the whole man1 beginning with  
the intellect but finishing with the    
heart4 ,he is now very near to the true 
virile eloquence1 and possesses one     
species of it indeed very nearly in     
perfection4 ,he has arrived at the      
complete command of the resources of his
 own nature1 at an adequate and masterly
 expression of himself4 ,such expression
 is the joy and glory of the oratorical 
artist as of every other4 ,naville is   
rapidly becoming a model in the art of  
premeditated and self-controlled        
eloquence4  ,there is another kind of   
eloquence--that which seems inspired1   
which finds1 discovers1 and illuminates 
by bounds and flashes1 which is born in 
the sight of the audience and transports
 it4 ,such is not ,naville's kind4 ,is  
it better worth having8 ,i do not know4 
99       99       99       99       99  
,every real need is stilled1 and every  
vice is stimulated by satisfaction4     
99       99       99       99       99  
,obstinacy is will asserting itself     

without being able to justify itself4   
,it is persistence without a plausible  
motive4 ,it is the tenacity of self-love
 substituted for the tenacity of reason 
or conscience4  ,it is not what he has1 
nor even what he does1 which directly   
expresses the worth of a man1 but what  
he is4         99       99       99     
99       99  ,what comfort1 what        
strength1 what economy there is in      
order--material order1 intellectual     
order1 moral order4 ,to know where one  
is going and what one wishes--this is   
order2 to keep one's word and one's     
engagements--again order2 to have       
everything ready under one's hand1 to be
 able to dispose of all one's forces1   
and to have all one's means of whatever 
kind under command--still order2 to     
discipline one's habits1 one's effort1  
one's wishes2 to organize one's life1 to
 distribute one's time1 to take the     
measure of one's duties and make one's  
rights respected2 to employ one's       
capital and resources1 one's talent and 

one's chances profitably--all this      
belongs to and is included in the word  
order4 ,order means light and peace1    
inward liberty and free command over    
one's self2 order is power4 ,aesthetic  
and moral beauty consist1 the first in a
 true perception of order1 and the      
second in submission to it1 and in the  
realization of it1 by1 in1 and around   
one's self4 ,order is man's greatest    
need and his true well-being4  ,april   
#ag1 #ahfj4--,the cloud has lifted2 ,i  
am better4 ,i have been able to take my 
usual walk on the ,treille2 all the buds
 were opening and the young shoots were 
green on all the branches4 ,the rippling
 of clear water1 the merriment of birds1
 the young freshness of plants1 and the 
noisy play of children1 produce a       
strange effect upon an invalid4 ,or     
rather it was strange to me to be       
looking at such things with the eyes of 
a sick and dying man2 it was my first   
introduction to a new phase of          
experience4 ,there is a deep sadness in 

it4 ,one feels one's self cut off from  
nature--outside her communion as it     
were4 ,she is strength and joy and      
eternal health4 8,room for the living10 
she cries to us2 8do not come to darken 
my blue sky with your miseries2 each has
 his turn3 begone60  ,but to strengthen 
our own courage1 we must say to         
ourselves1 ,no2 it is good for the world
 to see suffering and weakness2 the     
sight adds zest to the joy of the happy 
and the careless1 and is rich in warning
 for all who think4 ,life has been lent 
to us1 and we owe it to our traveling   
companions to let them see what use we  
make of it to the end4 ,we must show our
 brethren both how to live and how to   
die4 ,these first summonses of illness  
have besides a divine value2 they give  
us glimpses behind the scenes of life2  
they teach us something of its awful    
reality and its inevitable end4 ,they   
teach us sympathy4 ,they warn us to     
redeem the time while it is yet day4    
,they awaken in us gratitude for the    

blessings which are still ours1 and     
humility for the gifts which are in us4 
,so that1 evils though they seem1 they  
are really an appeal to us from on high1
 a touch of ,god's fatherly scourge4    
,how frail a thing is health1 and what a
 thin envelope protects our life against
 being swallowed up from without1 or    
disorganized from within6 ,a breath1 and
 the boat springs a leak or founders2 a 
nothing1 and all is endangered2 a       
passing cloud1 and all is darkness6     
,life is indeed a flower which a morning
 withers and the beat of a passing wing 
breaks down2 it is the widow's lamp1    
which the slightest blast of air        
extinguishes4 ,in order to realize the  
poetry which clings to morning roses1   
one needs to have just escaped from the 
claws of that vulture which we call     
illness4 ,the foundation and the        
heightening of all things is the        
graveyard4 ,the only certainty in this  
world of vain agitations and endless    
anxieties1 is the certainty of death1   

and that which is the foretaste and     
small change of death--pain4  ,as long  
as we turn our eyes away from this      
implacable reality1 the tragedy of life 
remains hidden from us4 ,as soon as we  
look at it face to face1 the true       
proportions of everything reappear1 and 
existence becomes solemn again4 ,it is  
made clear to us that we have been      
frivolous and petulant1 intractable and 
forgetful1 and that we have been wrong4 
,we must die and give an account of our 
life3 here in all its simplicity is the 
teaching of sickness6 8,do with all     
diligence what you have to do2 reconcile
 yourself with the law of the universe2 
think of your duty2 prepare yourself for
 departure30 such is the cry of         
conscience and of reason4  ,may #c1     
#ahfj4--;,edgar ,quinet has attempted   
everything3 he has aimed at nothing but 
the greatest things2 he is rich in      
ideas1 a master of splendid imagery1    
serious1 enthusiastic1 courageous1 a    
noble writer4 ,how is it1 then1 that he 

has not more reputation8 ,because he is 
too pure2 because he is too uniformly   
ecstatic1 fantastic1 inspired--a mood   
which soon palls on ,frenchmen4 ,because
 he is too single-minded1 candid1       
theoretical1 and speculative1 too ready 
to believe in the power of words and of 
ideas1 too expansive and confiding2     
while at the same time he is lacking in 
the qualities which amuse clever        
people--in sarcasm1 irony1 cunning and  
finesse4 ,he is an idealist reveling in 
color3 a ,platonist brandishing the     
thyrsus of the ,menads4 ,at bottom his  
is a mind of no particular country4 ,it 
is in vain that he satirizes ,germany   
and abuses ,england2 he does not make   
himself any more of a ,frenchman by     
doing so4 ,it is a northern intellect   
wedded to a southern imagination1 but   
the marriage has not been a happy one4  
,he has the disease of chronic          
magniloquence1 of inveterate sublimity2 
abstractions for him become personified 
and colossal beings1 which act or speak 

in colossal fashion2 he is intoxicated  
with the infinite4 ,but one feels all   
the time that his creations are only    
individual monologues2 he cannot escape 
from the bounds of a subjective lyrism4 
,ideas1 passions1 anger1 hopes1         
complaints--he himself is present in    
them all4 ,we never have the delight of 
escaping from his magic circle1 of      
seeing truth as it is1 of entering into 
relation with the phenomena and the     
beings of whom he speaks1 with the      
reality of things4 ,this imprisonment of
 the author within his personality looks
 like conceit4 ,but on the contrary1 it 
is because the heart is generous that   
the mind is egotistical4 ,it is because 
,quinet thinks himself so much of a     
,frenchman that he is it so little4     
,these ironical compensations of destiny
 are very familiar to me3 ,i have often 
observed them4 ,man is nothing but      
contradiction3 the less he knows it the 
more dupe he is4 ,in consequence of his 
small capacity for seeing things as they

 are1 ,quinet has neither much accuracy 
nor much balance of mind4 ,he recalls   
,victor ,hugo1 with much less artistic  
power but more historical sense4 ,his   
principal gift is a great command of    
imagery and symbolism4 ,he seems to me a
 ,grres ,footnote3 ,joseph ,goerres1 a  
,german mystic and disciple of          
,schelling4 ,he published1 among other  
works1 8,mythengeschichte der           
,asiatischen ,welt10 and 8,christliche  
,mystik40 transplanted to ,franche      
,comt1 a sort of supernumerary prophet1 
with whom his nation hardly knows what  
to do1 seeing that she loves neither    
enigmas nor ecstasy nor inflation of    
language1 and that the intoxication of  
the tripod bores her4  ,the real        
excellence of ,quinet seems to me to lie
 in his historical works 78,marnix10    
8,l',italie10 8,les ,roumains071 and    
especially in his studies of            
nationalities4 ,he was born1 to         
understand these souls1 at once more    
vast and more sublime than individual   

souls4  7,later74--,i have been         
translating into verse that page of     
,goethe's 8,faust0 in which is contained
 his pantheistic confession of faith4   
,the translation is not bad1 ,i think4  
,but what a difference between the two  
languages in the matter of precision6   
,it is like the difference between stump
 and graving-tool--the one showing the  
effort1 the other noting the result of  
the act2 the one making you feel all    
that is merely dreamed or vague1        
formless or vacant1 the other           
determining1 fixing1 giving shape even  
to the indefinite2 the one representing 
the cause1 the force1 the limbo whence  
things issue1 the other the things      
themselves4 ,german has the obscure     
depth of the infinite1 ,french the clear
 brightness of the finite4  ,may #e1    
#ahfj4--,to grow old is more difficult  
than to die1 because to renounce a good 
once and for all1 costs less than to    
renew the sacrifice day by day and in   
detail4 ,to bear with one's own decay1  

to accept one's own lessening capacity1 
is a harder and rarer virtue than to    
face death4         99       99       99
       99       99  ,there is a halo    
round tragic and premature death2 there 
is but a long sadness in declining      
strength4 ,but look closer3 so studied1 
a resigned and religious old age will   
often move us more than the heroic ardor
 of young years4 ,the maturity of the   
soul is worth more than the first       
brilliance of its faculties1 or the     
plentitude of its strength1 and the     
eternal in us can but profit from all   
the ravages made by time4 ,there is     
comfort in this thought4  ,may #bb1     
#ahfj4--,there is in me a secret        
incapacity for expressing my true       
feeling1 for saying what pleases others1
 for bearing witness to the present--a  
reserve which ,i have often noticed in  
myself with vexation4 ,my heart never   
dares to speak seriously1 either because
 it is ashamed of being thought to      
flatter1 or afraid lest it should not   

find exactly the right expression4 ,i am
 always trifling with the present       
moment4 ,feeling in me is retrospective4
 ,my refractory nature is slow to       
recognize the solemnity of the hour in  
which ,i actually stand4 ,an ironical   
instinct1 born of timidity1 makes me    
pass lightly over what ,i have on       
pretence of waiting for some other thing
 at some other time4 ,fear of being     
carried away1 and distrust of myself    
pursue me even in moments of emotion2 by
 a sort of invincible pride1 ,i can     
never persuade myself to say to any     
particular instant3 8,stay6 decide for  
me2 be a supreme moment6 stand out from 
the monotonous depths of eternity and   
mark a unique experience in my life60 ,i
 trifle1 even with happiness1 out of    
distrust of the future4  ,may #bg1      
#ahfj4 7,sunday74--,i heard this morning
 a sermon on the ,holy ,spirit--good but
 insufficient4 ,why was ,i not edified8 
,because there was no unction4 ,why was 
there no unction8 ,because ,christianity

 from this rationalistic point of view  
is a ,christianity of dignity1 not of   
humility4 ,penitence1 the struggles of  
weakness1 austerity1 find no place in   
it4 ,the law is effaced1 holiness and   
mysticism evaporate2 the specifically   
,christian accent is wanting4 ,my       
impression is always the same--faith is 
made a dull poor thing by these attempts
 to reduce it to simple moral           
psychology4 ,i am oppressed by a feeling
 of inappropriateness and malaise at the
 sight of philosophy in the pulpit4     
8,they have taken away my ,saviour1 and 
,i know not where they have laid him20  
so the simple folk have a right to say1 
and ,i repeat it with them4 ,thus1 while
 some shock me by their sacerdotal      
dogmatism1 others repel me by their     
rationalizing laicism4 ,it seems to me  
that good preaching ought to combine1 as
 ,schleiermacher did1 perfect moral     
humility with energetic independence of 
thought1 a profound sense of sin with   
respect for criticism and a passion for 

truth4         99       99       99     
99       99  ,the free being who        
abandons the conduct of himself1 yields 
himself to ,satan2 in the moral world   
there is no ground without a master1 and
 the waste lands belong to the ,evil    
,one4  ,the poetry of childhood consists
 in simulating and forestalling the     
future1 just as the poetry of mature    
life consists often in going backward to
 some golden age4 ,poetry is always in  
the distance4 ,the whole art of moral   
government lies in gaining a directing  
and shaping hold over the poetical      
ideals of an age4  ,january #i1         
#ahfa4--;,i have just come from the     
inaugural lecture of ,victor ,cherbuliez
 in a state of bewildered admiration4   
,as a lecture it was exquisite3 if it   
was a recitation of prepared matter1 it 
was admirable2 if an extempore          
performance1 it was amazing4 ,in the    
face of superiority and perfection1 says
 ,schiller1 we have but one resource--to
 love them1 which is what ,i have done4 

,i had the pleasure1 mingled with a     
little surprise1 of feeling in myself no
 sort of jealousy toward this young     
conqueror4  ,march #aeth4--,this last   
lecture in ,victor ,cherbuliez's course 
on 8,chivalry10 which is just over1     
showed the same magical power over his  
subject as that with which he began the 
series two months ago4 ,it was a triumph
 and a harvest of laurels4 ,cervantes1  
,ignatius ,loyola1 and the heritage of  
chivalry--that is to say1 individualism1
 honor1 the poetry of the present and   
the poetry of contrasts1 modern liberty 
and progress--have been the subjects of 
this lecture4  ,the general impression  
left upon me all along has been one of  
admiration for the union in him of      
extraordinary skill in execution with   
admirable cultivation of mind4 ,with    
what freedom of spirit he uses and      
wields his vast erudition1 and what     
capacity for close attention he must    
have to be able to carry the weight of a
 whole improvised speech with the same  

ease as though it were a single         
sentence6 ,i do not know if ,i am       
partial1 but ,i find no occasion for    
anything but praise in this young wizard
 and his lectures4 ,the fact is1 that in
 my opinion we have now one more first  
rate mind1 one more master of language  
among us4 ,this course1 with the        
8,causeries ,athniennes10 seems to me to
 establish ,victor ,cherbuliez's        
position at ,geneva4  ,march #ag1       
#ahfa4--,this afternoon a homicidal     
languor seized hold upon me--disgust1   
weariness of life1 mortal sadness4 ,i   
wandered out into the churchyard1 hoping
 to find quiet and peace there1 and so  
to reconcile myself with duty4 ,vain    
dream6 ,the place of rest itself had    
become inhospitable4 ,workmen were      
stripping and carrying away the turf1   
the trees were dry1 the wind cold1 the  
sky gray--something arid1 irreverent1   
and prosaic dishonored the resting-place
 of the dead4 ,i was struck with        
something wanting in our national       

feeling--respect for the dead1 the      
poetry of the tomb1 the piety of memory4
 ,our churches are too little open2 our 
churchyards too much4 ,the result in    
both cases is the same4 ,the tortured   
and trembling heart which seeks1 outside
 the scene of its daily miseries1 to    
find some place where it may pray in    
peace1 or pour out its grief before     
,god1 or meditate in the presence of    
eternal things1 with us has nowhere to  
go4 ,our church ignores these wants of  
the soul instead of divining and meeting
 them4 ,she shows very little           
compassionate care for her children1    
very little wise consideration for the  
more delicate griefs1 and no intuition  
of the deeper mysteries of tenderness1  
no religious suavity4 ,under a pretext  
of spirituality we are always checking  
legitimate aspirations4 ,we have lost   
the mystical sense2 and what is religion
 without mysticism8 ,a rose without     
perfume4  ,the words repentance and     
sanctification are always on our lips4  

,but adoration and consolation are also 
two essential elements in religion1 and 
we ought perhaps to make more room for  
them than we do4  ,april #bh1           
#ahfa4--;,in the same way as a dream    
transforms according to its nature1 the 
incidents of sleep1 so the soul converts
 into psychical phenomena the           
ill-defined impressions of the organism4
 ,an uncomfortable attitude becomes     
nightmare2 an atmosphere charged with   
storm becomes moral torment4 ,not       
mechanically and by direct causality2   
but imagination and conscience engender1
 according to their own nature1         
analogous effects2 they translate into  
their own language1 and cast into their 
own mold1 whatever reaches them from    
outside4 ,thus dreams may be helpful to 
medicine and to divination1 and states  
of weather may stir up and set free     
within the soul vague and hidden evils4 
,the suggestions and solicitations which
 act upon life come from outside1 but   
life produces nothing but itself after  

all4 ,originality consists in rapid and 
clear reaction against these outside    
influences1 in giving to them our       
individual stamp4 ,to think is to       
withdraw1 as it were1 into one's        
impression--to make it clear to one's   
self1 and then to put it forth in the   
shape of a personal judgment4 ,in this  
also consists self-deliverance1         
self-enfranchisement1 self-conquest4    
,all that comes from outside is a       
question to which we owe an answer--a   
pressure to be met by counter-pressure1 
if we are to remain free and living     
agents4 ,the development of our         
unconscious nature follows the          
astronomical laws of ,ptolemy2          
everything in it is change--cycle1      
epi-cycle1 and metamorphosis4  ,every   
man then possesses in himself the       
analogies and rudiments of all things1  
of all beings1 and of all forms of life4
 ,he who knows how to divine the small  
beginnings1 the germs and symptoms of   
things1 can retrace in himself the      

universal mechanism1 and divine by      
intuition the series which he himself   
will not finish1 such as vegetable and  
animal existences1 human passions and   
crises1 the diseases of the soul and    
those of the body4 ,the mind which is   
subtle and powerful may penetrate all   
these potentialities1 and make every    
point flash out the world which it      
contains4 ,this is to be conscious of   
and to possess the general life1 this is
 to enter into the divine sanctuary of  
contemplation4  ,september #ab1         
#ahfa4--;,in me an intellect which would
 fain forget itself in things1 is       
contradicted by a heart which yearns to 
live in human beings4 ,the uniting link 
of the two contradictions is the        
tendency toward self-abandonment1 toward
 ceasing to will and exist for one's    
self1 toward laying down one's own      
personality1 and                        
losing--dissolving--one's self in love  
and contemplation4 ,what ,i lack above  
all things is character1 will1          

individuality4 ,but1 as always happens1 
the appearance is exactly the contrary  
of the reality1 and my outward life the 
reverse of my true and deepest          
aspiration4 ,i whose whole being--heart 
and intellect--thirsts to absorb itself 
in reality1 in its neighbor man1 in     
nature and in ,god1 ,i1 whom solitude   
devours and destroys1 ,i shut myself up 
in solitude and seem to delight only in 
myself and to be sufficient for myself4 
,pride and delicacy of soul1 timidity of
 heart1 have made me thus do violence to
 all my instincts and invert the natural
 order of my life4 ,it is not           
astonishing that ,i should be           
unintelligible to others4 ,in fact ,i   
have always avoided what attracted me1  
and turned my back upon the point where 
secretly ,i desired to be4    8,deux    
instincts sont en moi3 vertige et       
draison2   ,j'ai l'effroi du bonheur et 
la soif du poison40  ,it is the ,nemesis
 which dogs the steps of life1 the      
secret instinct and power of death in   

us1 which labors continually for the    
destruction of all that seeks to be1 to 
take form1 to exist2 it is the passion  
for destruction1 the tendency toward    
suicide1 identifying itself with the    
instinct of self-preservation4 ,this    
antipathy toward all that does one good1
 all that nourishes and heals1 is it not
 a mere variation of the antipathy to   
moral light and regenerative truth8     
,does not sin also create a thirst for  
death1 a growing passion for what does  
harm8 ,discouragement has been my sin4  
,discouragement is an act of unbelief4  
,growing weakness has been the          
consequence of it2 the principle of     
death in me and the influence of the    
,prince of ,darkness have waxed stronger
 together4 ,my will in abdicating has   
yielded up the scepter to instinct2 and 
as the corruption of the best results in
 what is worst1 love of the ideal1      
tenderness1 unworldliness1 have led me  
to a state in which ,i shrink from hope 
and crave for annihilation4 ,action is  

my cross4  ,october #aa1 #ahfa4         
7,heidelberg74--,after eleven days      
journey1 here ,i am under the roof of my
 friends1 in their hospitable house on  
the banks of the ,neckar1 with its      
garden climbing up the side of the      
,heiligenberg4444 ,blazing sun2 my room 
is flooded with light and warmth4       
,sitting opposite the ,geisberg1 ,i     
write to the murmur of the ,neckar1     
which rolls its green waves1 flecked    
with silver1 exactly beneath the balcony
 on which my room opens4 ,a great barge 
coming from ,heilbron passes silently   
under my eyes1 while the wheels of a    
cart which ,i cannot see are dimly heard
 on the road which skirts the river4    
,distant voices of children1 of cocks1  
of chirping sparrows1 the clock of the  
,church of the ,holy ,spirit1 which     
chimes the hour1 serve to gauge1 without
 troubling1 the general tranquility of  
the scene4 ,one feels the hours gently  
slipping by1 and time1 instead of       
flying1 seems to hover4 ,a peace beyond 

words steals into my heart1 an          
impression of morning grace1 of fresh   
country poetry which brings back the    
sense of youth1 and has the true ,german
 savor4444 ,two decked barges carrying  
red flags1 each with a train of flat    
boats filled with coal1 are going up the
 river and making their way under the   
arch of the great stone bridge4 ,i stand
 at the window and see a whole          
perspective of boats sailing in both    
directions2 the ,neckar is as animated  
as the street of some great capital2 and
 already on the slope of the wooded     
mountain1 streaked by the smoke-wreaths 
of the town1 the castle throws its      
shadow like a vast drapery1 and traces  
the outlines of its battlements and     
turrets4 ,higher up1 in front of me1    
rises the dark profile of the           
,molkenkur2 higher still1 in relief     
against the dazzling east1 ,i can       
distinguish the misty forms of the two  
towers of the ,kaiserstuhl and the      
,trutzheinrich4  ,but enough of         

landscape4 ,my host1 ,dr4 ,george       
,weber1 tells me that his manual of     
history is translated into ,polish1     
,dutch1 ,spanish1 ,italian1 and ,french1
 and that of his great 8,universal      
,history0--three volumes are already    
published4 ,what astonishing power of   
work1 what prodigious tenacity1 what    
solidity6 ,o deutscher ,fleiss6         
,november #be1 #ahfa4--,to understand a 
drama requires the same mental operation
 as to understand an existence1 a       
biography1 a man4 ,it is a putting back 
of the bird into the egg1 of the plant  
into its seed1 a reconstitution of the  
whole genesis of the being in question4 
,art is simply the bringing into relief 
of the obscure thought of nature2 a     
simplification of the lines1 a falling  
into place of groups otherwise          
invisible4 ,the fire of inspiration     
brings out1 as it were1 designs traced  
beforehand in sympathetic ink4 ,the     
mysterious grows clear1 the confused    
plain2 what is complicated becomes      

simple--what is accidental1 necessary4  
,in short1 art reveals nature by        
interpreting its intentions and         
formulating its desires4 ,every ideal is
 the key of a long enigma4 ,the great   
artist is the simplifier4  ,every man is
 a tamer of wild beasts1 and these wild 
beasts are his passions4 ,to draw their 
teeth and claws1 to muzzle and tame     
them1 to turn them into servants and    
domestic animals1 fuming1 perhaps1 but  
submissive--in this consists personal   
education4  ,february #c1               
#ahfb4--,self-criticism is the corrosive
 of all oratorical or literary          
spontaneity4 ,the thirst to know turned 
upon the self is punished1 like the     
curiosity of ,psyche1 by the flight of  
the thing desired4 ,force should remain 
a mystery to itself2 as soon as it tries
 to penetrate its own secret it vanishes
 away4 ,the hen with the golden eggs    
becomes unfruitful as soon as she tries 
to find out why her eggs are golden4    
,the consciousness of consciousness is  

the term and end of analysis4 ,true1 but
 analysis pushed to extremity devours   
itself1 like the ,egyptian serpent4 ,we 
must give it some external matter to    
crush and dissolve if we wish to prevent
 its destruction by its action upon     
itself4 8,we are1 and ought to be1      
obscure to ourselves10 said ,goethe1    
8turned outward1 and working upon the   
world which surrounds us40 ,outward     
radiation constitutes health2 a too     
continuous concentration upon what is   
within brings us back to vacuity and    
blank4 ,it is better that life should   
dilate and extend itself in             
ever-widening circles1 than that it     
should be perpetually diminished and    
compressed by solitary contraction4     
,warmth tends to make a globe out of an 
atom2 cold1 to reduce a globe to the    
dimensions of an atom4 ,analysis has    
been to me self-annulling1              
self-destroying4  ,april #bc1 #ahfb4    
7,mornex sur ,salve74--,i was awakened  
by the twittering of the birds at a     

quarter to five1 and saw1 as ,i threw   
open my windows1 the yellowing crescent 
of the moon looking in upon me1 while   
the east was just faintly whitening4 ,an
 hour later it was delicious out of     
doors4 ,the anemones were still closed1 
the apple-trees in full flower3    8,ces
 beaux pommiers1 coverts de leurs fleurs
 toilens1   ,neige odorante du          
printemps40  ,the view was exquisite1   
and nature1 in full festival1 spread    
freshness and joy around her4 ,i        
breakfasted1 read the paper1 and here ,i
 am4 ,the ladies of the pension are     
still under the horizon4 ,i pity them   
for the loss of two or three delightful 
hours4  ,eleven o'clock4--,preludes1    
scales1 piano-exercises going on under  
my feet4 ,in the garden children's      
voices4 ,i have just finished           
,rosenkrantz on 8,hegel's ,logic10 and  
have run through a few articles in the  
,reviews4444 ,the limitation of the     
,french mind consists in the            
insufficiency of its spiritual alphabet1

 which does not allow it to translate   
the ,greek1 ,german1 or ,spanish mind   
without changing the accent4 ,the       
hospitality of ,french manners is not   
completed by a real hospitality of      
thought4444 ,my nature is just the      
opposite4 ,i am individual in the       
presence of men1 objective in the       
presence of things4 ,i attach myself to 
the object1 and absorb myself in it2 ,i 
detach myself from subjects i4e44       
persons1 and hold myself on my guard    
against them4 ,i feel myself different  
from the mass of men1 and akin to the   
great whole of nature4 ,my way of       
asserting myself is in cherishing this  
sense of sympathetic unity with life1   
which ,i yearn to understand1 and in    
repudiating the tyranny of commonplace4 
,all that is imitative and artificial   
inspires me with a secret repulsion1    
while the smallest true and spontaneous 
existence 7plant1 animal1 child7 draws  
and attracts me4 ,i feel myself in      
community of spirit with the ,goethes1  

the ,hegels1 the ,schleiermachers1 the  
,leibnitzes1 opposed as they are among  
themselves2 while the ,french           
mathematicians1 philosophers1 or        
rhetoricians1 in spite of their high    
qualities1 leave me cold1 because there 
is in them no sense of the whole1 the   
sum of things ,footnote3 ,the following 
passage from ,sainte-,beuve may be taken
 as a kind of answer by anticipation to 
this accusation1 which ,amiel brings    
more than once in the course of the     
,journal3  8,toute nation livre         
elle-mme et  son propre gnie se fait une
 critique littraire qui y est conforme4 
,la ,france en son beau temps a eu la   
sienne1 qui ne ressemble ni  celle de   
l',allemagne ni  celle de ses autres    
voisins--un peu plus superficielle1     
dira-t-on--je ne le crois pas3 mais plus
 vive1 moins charge d'erudition1 moins  
thorique et systmatique1 plus confiante 
au sentiment immdiat du got4 ,un peu de 
chaque chose et rien de l'ensemble1  la 
,franaise3 telle tait la devise de      

,montaigne et telle est aussi la devise 
de la critique franaise4 ,nous ne sommes
 pas synthtiques1 comme diraient les    
,allemands2 le mot mme n'est pas        
franaise4 ,l'imagination de dtail nous  
suffit4 ,montaigne1 ,la ,fontaine       
,madame de ,svign1 sont volontiers nos  
livres de chevet40  ,the ,french critic 
then goes on to give a rapid sketch of  
the authors and the books1 8qui ont peu 
a peu form comme notre rhtorique40      
,french criticism of the old            
characteristic kind rests ultimately    
upon the minute and delicate knowledge  
of a few ,greek and ,latin classics4    
,arnauld1 ,boileau1 ,fnlon1 ,rollin1    
,racine fils1 ,voltaire1 ,la ,harpe1    
,marmontel1 ,delille1 ,fontanes1 and    
,chteaubriand in one aspect1 are the    
typical names of this tradition1 the    
creators and maintainers of this common 
literary fonds1 this 8sorte de          
circulation courante  l'usage des gens  
instruits4 ,j'avoue ma faiblesse3 nous  
sommes devenus bien plus forts dans la  

dissertation rudite1 mais j'aurais un   
ternel regret pour cette moyenne et plus
 libre habitude littraire qui laissait  
l'imagination tout son espace et        
l'esprit tout son jeu2 qui formait une  
atmosphre saine et facile o le talent   
respirait et se mouvait  son gr3 cette  
atmosphre-l1 je ne la trouve plus1 et je
 la regrette40--7,chteaubriand et son   
,groupe ,littraire1 vol4 i4 p4 #caa47   
,the following pense of ,la ,bruyre     
applies to the second half of ,amiel's  
criticism of the ,french mind3 8,if you 
wish to travel in the ,inferno or the   
,paradiso you must take other guides10  
etc4  8,un homme n ,chrtien et ,franois 
se trouve contraint dans la satyre2 les 
grands sujets lui sont dfendus1 il les  
entame quelquefois1 et se dtourne       
ensuite sur de petites choses qu'il     
relve par la beaut de son gnie et de son
 style40--,les ,caractres1 etc41 8,des  
,ouvrages del',esprit40--because they   
have no grasp of reality in its         
fullness1 and therefore either cramp and

 limit me or awaken my distrust4 ,the   
,french lack that intuitive faculty to  
which the living unity of things is     
revealed1 they have very little sense of
 what is sacred1 very little penetration
 into the mysteries of being4 ,what they
 excel in is the construction of special
 sciences2 the art of writing a book1   
style1 courtesy1 grace1 literary models1
 perfection and urbanity2 the spirit of 
order1 the art of teaching1 discipline1 
elegance1 truth of detail1 power of     
arrangement2 the desire and the gift for
 proselytism1 the vigor necessary for   
practical conclusions4 ,but if you wish 
to travel in the 8,inferno0 or the      
8,paradiso0 you must take other guides4 
,their home is on the earth1 in the     
region of the finite1 the changing1 the 
historical1 and the diverse4 ,their     
logic never goes beyond the category of 
mechanism nor their metaphysic beyond   
dualism4 ,when they undertake anything  
else they are doing violence to         
themselves4  ,april #bdth4              

7,noon74--,all around me profound peace1
 the silence of the mountains in spite  
of a full house and a neighboring       
village4 ,no sound is to be heard but   
the murmur of the flies4 ,there is      
something very striking in this calm4   
,the middle of the day is like the      
middle of the night4 ,life seems        
suspended just when it is most intense4 
,these are the moments in which one     
hears the infinite and perceives the    
ineffable4 ,victor ,hugo1 in his        
8,contemplations10 has been carrying me 
from world to world1 and since then his 
contradictions have reminded me of the  
convinced ,christian with whom ,i was   
talking yesterday in a house near by4444
 ,the same sunlight floods both the book
 and nature1 the doubting poet and the  
believing preacher1 as well as the      
mobile dreamer1 who1 in the midst of all
 these various existences1 allows       
himself to be swayed by every passing   
breath1 and delights1 stretched along   
the car of his balloon1 in floating     

aimlessly through all the sounds and    
shallows of the ether1 and in realizing 
within himself all the harmonies and    
dissonances of the soul1 of feeling1 and
 of thought4 ,idleness and              
contemplation6 ,slumber of the will1    
lapses of the vital force1 indolence of 
the whole being--how well ,i know you6  
,to love1 to dream1 to feel1 to learn1  
to understand--all these are possible to
 me if only ,i may be relieved from     
willing4 ,it is my tendency1 my         
instinct1 my fault1 my sin4 ,i have a   
sort of primitive horror of ambition1 of
 struggle1 of hatred1 of all which      
dissipates the soul and makes it        
dependent upon external things and aims4
 ,the joy of becoming once more         
conscious of myself1 of listening to the
 passage of time and the flow of the    
universal life1 is sometimes enough to  
make me forget every desire1 and to     
quench in me both the wish to produce   
and the power to execute4 ,intellectual 
,epicureanism is always threatening to  

overpower me4 ,i can only combat it by  
the idea of duty2 it is as the poet has 
said3    8,ceux qui vivent1 ce sont ceux
 qui luttent2 ce sont   ,ceux dont un   
dessein ferme emplit l'me et le front1  
,ceux qui d'un haut destin gravissent   
l'pre cime1   ,ceux qui marchent        
pensifs1 pris d'un but sublime1   ,ayant
 devant les yeux sans cesse1 nuit et    
jour1   ,ou quelque saint labeur ou     
quelque grand amour60  ,footnote3       
,victor ,hugo1 8,les ,chatiments40      
,five o'clock4--,in the afternoon our   
little society met in general talk upon 
the terrace4 ,some amount of familiarity
 and friendliness begins to show itself 
in our relations to each other4 ,i read 
over again with emotion some passages of
 8,jocelyn40 ,how admirable it is6      
8,il se fit de sa vie une plus mle ide3 
,sa douleur d'un seul trait ne l'avait  
pas vide2   ,mais1 adorant de ,dieu le  
svre dessein1   ,il sut la porter pleine
 et pure dans son sein1   ,et ne se     
htant pas de la rpandre toute1   ,sa    

rsignation l'pancha goutte  goutte1     
,selon la circonstance et le besoin     
d'autrui1   ,pour tout vivifier sur     
terre autour de lui40  ,footnote3       
,epilogue of 8,jocelyn40  ,the true     
poetry is that which raises you1 as this
 does1 toward heaven1 and fills you with
 divine emotion2 which sings of love and
 death1 of hope and sacrifice1 and      
awakens the sense of the infinite4      
8,jocelyn0  always stirs in me impulses 
of tenderness which it would be hateful 
to me to see profaned by satire4 ,as a  
tragedy of feeling1 it has no parallel  
in ,french1 for purity1 except 8,paul et
 ,virginie10 and ,i think that ,i prefer
 8,jocelyn40 ,to be just1 one ought to  
read them side by side4  ,six           
o'clock4--,one more day is drawing to   
its close4 ,with the exception of ,mont 
,blanc1 all the mountains have already  
lost their color4 ,the evening chill    
succeeds the heat of the afternoon4 ,the
 sense of the implacable flight of      
things1 of the resistless passage of the

 hours1 seizes upon me afresh and       
oppresses me4    8,nature au front      
serein1 comme vous oubliez60  ,in vain  
we cry with the poet1 8,o time1 suspend 
thy flight60444 ,and what days1 after   
all1 would we keep and hold8 ,not only  
the happy days1 but the lost days6 ,the 
first have left at least a memory behind
 them1 the others nothing but a regret  
which is almost a remorse4444  ,eleven  
o'clock4--,a gust of wind4 ,a few clouds
 in the sky4 ,the nightingale is silent4
 ,on the other hand1 the cricket and the
 river are still singing4  ,august #i1  
#ahfb4--,life1 which seeks its own      
continuance1 tends to repair itself     
without our help4 ,it mends its spider's
 webs when they have been torn2 it      
re-establishes in us the conditions of  
health1 and itself heals the injuries   
inflicted upon it2 it binds the bandage 
again upon our eyes1 brings back hope   
into our hearts1 breathes health once   
more into our organs1 and regilds the   
dream of our imagination4 ,but for this1

 experience would have hopelessly       
withered and faded us long before the   
time1 and the youth would be older than 
the centenarian4 ,the wise part of us1  
then1 is that which is unconscious of   
itself2 and what is most reasonable in  
man are those elements in him which do  
not reason4 ,instinct1 nature1 a divine1
 an impersonal activity1 heal in us the 
wounds made by our own follies2 the     
invisible genius of our life is never   
tired of providing material for the     
prodigalities of the self4 ,the         
essential1 maternal basis of our        
conscious life1 is therefore that       
unconscious life which we perceive no   
more than the outer hemisphere of the   
moon perceives the earth1 while all the 
time indissolubly and eternally bound to
 it4 ,it is our ,greek3 antichoon1 to   
speak with ,pythagoras4  ,november #g1  
#ahfb4--;,how malign1 infectious1 and   
unwholesome is the eternal smile of that
 indifferent criticism1 that attitude of
 ironical contemplation1 which corrodes 

and demolishes everything1 that mocking 
pitiless temper1 which holds itself     
aloof from every personal duty and every
 vulnerable affection1 and cares only to
 understand without committing itself to
 action6 ,criticism become a habit1 a   
fashion1 and a system1 means the        
destruction of moral energy1 of faith1  
and of all spiritual force4 ,one of my  
tendencies leads me in this direction1  
but ,i recoil before its results when ,i
 come across more emphatic types of it  
than myself4 ,and at least ,i cannot    
reproach myself with having ever        
attempted to destroy the moral force of 
others2 my reverence for life forbade   
it1 and my self-distrust has taken from 
me even the temptation to it4  ,this    
kind of temper is very dangerous among  
us1 for it flatters all the worst       
instincts of men--indiscipline1         
irreverence1 selfish individualism--and 
it ends in social atomism4 ,minds       
inclined to mere negation are only      
harmless in great political organisms1  

which go without them and in spite of   
them4 ,the multiplication of them among 
ourselves will bring about the ruin of  
our little countries1 for small states  
only live by faith and will4 ,woe to the
 society where negation rules1 for life 
is an affirmation2 and a society1 a     
country1 a nation1 is a living whole    
capable of death4 ,no nationality is    
possible without prejudices1 for public 
spirit and national tradition are but   
webs woven out of innumerable beliefs   
which have been acquired1 admitted1 and 
continued without formal proof and      
without discussion4 ,to act1 we must    
believe2 to believe1 we must make up our
 minds1 affirm1 decide1 and in reality  
prejudge the question4 ,he who will only
 act upon a full scientific certitude is
 unfit for practical life4 ,but we are  
made for action1 and we cannot escape   
from duty4 ,let us not1 then1 condemn   
prejudice so long as we have nothing but
 doubt to put in its place1 or laugh at 
those whom we should be incapable of    

consoling6 ,this1 at least1 is my point 
of view4         99       99       99   
99       99  ,beyond the element which  
is common to all men there is an element
 which separates them4 ,this element may
 be religion1 country1 language1        
education4 ,but all these being supposed
 common1 there still remains something  
which serves as a line of               
demarcation--namely1 the ideal4 ,to have
 an ideal or to have none1 to have this 
ideal or that--this is what digs gulfs  
between men1 even between those who live
 in the same family circle1 under the   
same roof or in the same room4 ,you must
 love with the same love1 think with the
 same thought as some one else1 if you  
are to escape solitude4  ,mutual respect
 implies discretion and reserve even in 
love itself2 it means preserving as much
 liberty as possible to those whose life
 we share4 ,we must distrust our        
instinct of intervention1 for the desire
 to make one's own will prevail is often
 disguised under the mask of solicitude4

  ,how many times we become hypocrites  
simply by remaining the same outwardly  
and toward others1 when we know that    
inwardly and to ourselves we are        
different4 ,it is not hypocrisy in the  
strict sense1 for we borrow no other    
personality than our own2 still1 it is a
 kind of deception4 ,the deception      
humiliates us1 and the humiliation is a 
chastisement which the mask inflicts    
upon the face1 which our past inflicts  
upon our present4 ,such humiliation is  
good for us2 for it produces shame1 and 
shame gives birth to repentance4 ,thus  
in an upright soul good springs out of  
evil1 and it falls only to rise again4  
99       99       99       99       99  
,january #h1 #ahfc4--,this evening ,i   
read through the 8,cid0 and 8,rodogune40
  ,my impression is still a mixed and   
confused one4 ,there is much            
disenchantment in my admiration1 and a  
good deal of reserve in my enthusiasm4  
,what displeases me in this dramatic    
art1 is the mechanical abstraction of   

the characters1 and the scolding1       
shrewish tone of the interlocutors4 ,i  
had a vague impression of listening to  
gigantic marionettes1 perorating through
 a trumpet1 with the emphasis of        
,spaniards4 ,there is power in it1 but  
we have before us heroic idols rather   
than human beings4 ,the element of      
artificiality1 of strained pomposity and
 affectation1 which is the plague of    
classical tragedy1 is everywhere        
apparent1 and one hears1 as it were1 the
 cords and pulleys of these majestic    
colossi creaking and groaning4 ,i much  
prefer ,racine and ,shakespeare2 the one
 from the point of view of aesthetic    
sensation1 the other from that of       
psychological sensation4 ,the southern  
theater can never free itself from      
masks4 ,comic masks are bearable1 but in
 the case of tragic heroes1 the abstract
 type1 the mask1 make one impatient4 ,i 
can laugh with personages of tin and    
pasteboard3 ,i can only weep with the   
living1 or what resembles them4         

,abstraction turns easily to caricature2
 it is apt to engender mere shadows on  
the wall1 mere ghosts and puppets4 ,it  
is psychology of the first              
degree--elementary psychology--just as  
the colored pictures of ,germany are    
elementary painting4 ,and yet with all  
this1 you have a double-distilled and   
often sophistical refinement3 just as   
savages are by no means simple4 ,the    
fine side of it all is the manly vigor1 
the bold frankness of ideas1 words1 and 
sentiments4 ,why is it that we find so  
large an element of factitious grandeur1
 mingled with true grandeur1 in this    
drama of #afdj1 from which the whole    
dramatic development of monarchical     
,france was to spring8 ,genius is there1
 but it is hemmed round by a            
conventional civilization1 and1 strive  
as he may1 no man wears a wig with      
impunity4  ,january #ac1 #ahfc4--,to-day
 it has been the turn of 8,polyeucte0   
and 8,la ,morte de ,pompe40 ,whatever   
one's objections may be1 there is       

something grandiose in the style of     
,corneille which reconciles you at last 
even to his stiff1 emphatic manner1 and 
his over-ingenious rhetoric4 ,but it is 
the dramatic genre which is false4 ,his 
heroes are rles rather than men4 ,they  
pose as magnanimity1 virtue1 glory1     
instead of realizing them before us4    
,they are always en scne1 studied by    
others1 or by themselves4 ,with them    
glory--that is to say1 the life of      
ceremony and of affairs1 and the opinion
 of the public--replaces nature--becomes
 nature4 ,they never speak except ore   
rotundo1 in cothurnus1 or sometimes on  
stilts4 ,and what consummate advocates  
they all are6 ,the ,french drama is an  
oratorical tournament1 a long suit      
between opposing parties1 on a day which
 is to end with the death of somebody1  
and where all the personages represented
 are in haste to speak before the hour  
of silence strikes4 ,elsewhere1 speech  
serves to make action intelligible2 in  
,french tragedy action is but a decent  

motive for speech4 ,it is the procedure 
calculated to extract the finest        
possible speeches from the persons who  
are engaged in the action1 and who      
represent different perceptions of it at
 different moments and from different   
points of view4 ,love and nature1 duty  
and desire1 and a dozen other moral     
antitheses1 are the limbs moved by the  
wire of the dramatist1 who makes them   
fall into all the tragic attitudes4     
,what is really curious and amusing is  
that the people of all others the most  
vivacious1 gay1 and intelligent1 should 
have always understood the grand style  
in this pompous1 pedantic fashion4 ,but 
it was inevitable4  ,april #h1          
#ahfc4--;,i have been turning over the  
#c1ejj pages of 8,les ,misrables10      
trying to understand the guiding idea of
 this vast composition4 ,the fundamental
 idea of 8,les ,misrables0 seems to be  
this4 ,society engenders certain        
frightful evils--prostitution1          
vagabondage1 rogues1 thieves1 convicts1 

war1 revolutionary clubs and barricades4
 ,she ought to impress this fact on her 
mind1 and not treat all those who come  
in contact with her law as mere         
monsters4 ,the task before us is to     
humanize law and opinion1 to raise the  
fallen as well as the vanquished1 to    
create a social redemption4 ,how is this
 to be done8 ,by enlightening vice and  
lawlessness1 and so diminishing the sum 
of them1 and by bringing to bear upon   
the guilty the healing influence of     
pardon4 ,at bottom is it not a          
,christianization of society1 this      
extension of charity from the sinner to 
the condemned criminal1 this application
 to our present life of what the church 
applies more readily to the other8      
,struggle to restore a human soul to    
order and to righteousness by patience  
and by love1 instead of crushing it by  
your inflexible vindictiveness1 your    
savage justice6 ,such is the cry of the 
book4 ,it is great and noble1 but it is 
a little optimistic and ,rousseau-like4 

,according to it the individual is      
always innocent and society always      
responsible1 and the ideal before us for
 the twentieth century is a sort of     
democratic age of gold1 a universal     
republic from which war1 capital        
punishment1 and pauperism will have     
disappeared4 ,it is the religion and the
 city of progress2 in a word1 the       
,utopia of the eighteenth century       
revived on a great scale4 ,there is a   
great deal of generosity in it1 mixed   
with not a little fanciful extravagance4
 ,the fancifulness consists chiefly in a
 superficial notion of evil4 ,the author
 ignores or pretends to forget the      
instinct of perversity1 the love of evil
 for evil's sake1 which is contained in 
the human heart4  ,the great and        
salutary idea of the book1 is that      
honesty before the law is a cruel       
hypocrisy1 in so far as it arrogates to 
itself the right of dividing society    
according to its own standard into elect
 and reprobates1 and thus confounds the 

relative with the absolute4 ,the leading
 passage is that in which ,javert1      
thrown off the rails1 upsets the whole  
moral system of the strict ,javert1 half
 spy1 half priest--of the irreproachable
 police-officer4 ,in this chapter the   
writer shows us social charity          
illuminating and transforming a harsh   
and unrighteous justice4 ,suppression of
 the social hell1 that is to say1 of all
 irreparable stains1 of all social      
outlawries for which there is neither   
end nor hope--it is an essentially      
religious idea4  ,the erudition1 the    
talent1 the brilliancy of execution1    
shown in the book are astonishing1      
bewildering almost4 ,its faults are to  
be found in the enormous length allowed 
to digressions and episodical           
dissertations1 in the exaggeration of   
all the combinations and all the theses1
 and1 finally1 in something strained1   
spasmodic1 and violent in the style1    
which is very different from the style  
of natural eloquence or of essential    

truth4 ,effect is the misfortune of     
,victor ,hugo1 because he makes it the  
center of his aesthetic system2 and     
hence exaggeration1 monotony of         
emphasis1 theatricality of manner1 a    
tendency to force and over-drive4 ,a    
powerful artist1 but one with whom you  
never forget the artist2 and a dangerous
 model1 for the master himself is       
already grazing the rock of burlesque1  
and passes from the sublime to the      
repulsive1 from lack of power to produce
 one harmonious impression of beauty4   
,it is natural enough that he should    
detest ,racine4  ,but what astonishing  
philological and literary power has     
,victor ,hugo6 ,he is master of all the 
dialects contained in our language1     
dialects of the courts of law1 of the   
stock-exchange1 of war1 and of the sea1 
of philosophy and the convict-gang1 the 
dialects of trade and of archaeology1 of
 the antiquarian and the scavenger4 ,all
 the bric--brac of history and of       
manners1 so to speak1 all the           

curiosities of soil1 and subsoil1 are   
known and familiar to him4 ,he seems to 
have turned his ,paris over and over1   
and to know it body and soul as one     
knows the contents of one's pocket4     
,what a prodigious memory and what a    
lurid imagination6 ,he is at once a     
visionary and yet master of his dreams2 
he summons up and handles at will the   
hallucinations of opium or of hasheesh1 
without ever becoming their dupe2 he    
makes of madness one of his tame        
animals1 and bestrides1 with equal      
coolness1 ,pegasus or ,nightmare1 the   
,hippogriff or the ,chimera4 ,as a      
psychological phenomenon he is of the   
deepest interest4 ,victor ,hugo draws in
 sulphuric acid1 he lights his pictures 
with electric light4 ,he deafens1       
blinds1 and bewilders his reader rather 
than he charms or persuades him4        
,strength carried to such a point as    
this is a fascination2 without seeming  
to take you captive1 it makes you its   
prisoner2 it does not enchant you1 but  

it holds you spellbound4 ,his ideal is  
the extraordinary1 the gigantic1 the    
overwhelming1 the incommensurable4 ,his 
most characteristic words are immense1  
colossal1 enormous1 huge1 monstrous4 ,he
 finds a way of making even child-nature
 extravagant and bizarre4 ,the only     
thing which seems impossible to him is  
to be natural4 ,in short1 his passion is
 grandeur1 his fault is excess2 his     
distinguishing mark is a kind of        
,titanic power with strange dissonances 
of puerility in its magnificence4 ,where
 he is weakest is1 in measure1 taste1   
and sense of humor3 he fails in esprit1 
in the subtlest sense of the word4      
,victor ,hugo is a gallicized ,spaniard1
 or rather he unites all the extremes of
 south and north1 the ,scandinavian and 
the ,african4 ,gaul has less part in him
 than any other country4 ,and yet1 by a 
caprice of destiny1 he is one of the    
literary geniuses of ,france in the     
nineteenth century6 ,his resources are  
inexhaustible1 and age seems to have no 

power over him4 ,what an infinite store 
of words1 forms1 and ideas he carries   
about with him1 and what a pile of works
 he has left behind him to mark his     
passage6 ,his eruptions are like those  
of a volcano2 and1 fabulous workman that
 he is1 he goes on forever raising1     
destroying1 crushing1 and rebuilding a  
world of his own creation1 and a world  
rather ,hindoo than ,hellenic4  ,he     
amazes me3 and yet ,i prefer those men  
of genius who awaken in me the sense of 
truth1 and who increase the sum of one's
 inner liberty4 ,in ,hugo one feels the 
effort of the laboring ,cyclops2 give me
 rather the sonorous bow of ,apollo1 and
 the tranquil brow of the ,olympian     
,jove4 ,his type is that of the ,satyr  
in the 8,lgende des ,sicles10 who       
crushes ,olympus1 a type midway between 
the ugliness of the faun and the        
overpowering sublimity of the great     
,pan4  ,may #bc1 #ahfc4--;,dull1 cloudy1
 misty weather2 it rained in the night  
and yet the air is heavy4 ,this somber  

reverie of earth and sky has a          
sacredness of its own1 but it fills the 
spectator with a vague and stupefying   
ennui4 ,light brings life3 darkness may 
bring thought1 but a dull daylight1 the 
uncertain glimmer of a leaden sky1      
merely make one restless and weary4     
,these indecisive and chaotic states of 
nature are ugly1 like all amorphous     
things1 like smeared colors1 or bats1 or
 the viscous polyps of the sea4 ,the    
source of all attractiveness is to be   
found in character1 in sharpness of     
outline1 in individualization4 ,all that
 is confused and indistinct1 without    
form1 or sex1 or accent1 is antagonistic
 to beauty2 for the mind's first need is
 light2 light means order1 and order    
means1 in the first place1 the          
distinction of the parts1 in the second1
 their regular action4 ,beauty is based 
on reason4  ,august #g1 #ahfc4--;,a walk
 after supper1 a sky sparkling with     
stars1 the ,milky ,way magnificent4     
,alas6 all the same my heart is heavy4  

,at bottom ,i am always brought up      
against an incurable distrust of myself 
and of life1 which toward my neighbor   
has become indulgence1 but for myself   
has led to a rgime of absolute          
abstention4 ,all or nothing6 ,this is my
 inborn disposition1 my primitive stuff1
 my 8old man40 ,and yet if some one will
 but give me a little love1 will but    
penetrate a little into my inner        
feeling1 ,i am happy and ask for        
scarcely anything else4 ,a child's      
caresses1 a friend's talk1 are enough to
 make me gay and expansive4 ,so then ,i 
aspire to the infinite1 and yet a very  
little contents me2 everything disturbs 
me and the least thing calms me4 ,i have
 often surprised in my self the wish for
 death1 and yet my ambitions for        
happiness scarcely go beyond those of   
the bird3 wings6 sun6 a nest6 ,i persist
 in solitude because of a taste for it1 
so people think4 ,no1 it is from        
distaste1 disgust1 from shame at my own 
need of others1 shame at confessing it1 

a fear of passing into bondage if ,i do 
confess it4  ,september #b1             
#ahfc4--;,how shall ,i find a name for  
that subtle feeling which seized hold   
upon me this morning in the twilight of 
waking8 ,it was a reminiscence1 charming
 indeed1 but nameless1 vague1 and       
featureless1 like the figure of a woman 
seen for an instant by a sick man in the
 uncertainty of delirium1 and across the
 shadows of his darkened room4 ,i had a 
distinct sense of a form which ,i had   
seen somewhere1 and which had moved and 
charmed me once1 and then had fallen    
back with time into the catacombs of    
oblivion4 ,but all the rest was         
confused3 place1 occasion1 and the      
figure itself1 for ,i saw neither the   
face nor its expression4 ,the whole was 
like a fluttering veil under which the  
enigma--the secret of happiness--might  
have been hidden4 ,and ,i was awake     
enough to be sure that it was not a     
dream4  ,in impressions like these we   
recognize the last trace of things which

 are sinking out of sight and call      
within us1 of memories which are        
perishing4 ,it is like a shimmering     
marsh-light falling upon some vague     
outline of which one scarcely knows     
whether it represents a pain or a       
pleasure--a gleam upon a grave4 ,how    
strange6 ,one might almost call such    
things the ghosts of the soul1          
reflections of past happiness1 the manes
 of our dead emotions4 ,if1 as the      
,talmud1 ,i think1 says1 every feeling  
of love gives birth involuntarily to an 
invisible genius or spirit which yearns 
to complete its existence1 and these    
glimmering phantoms1 which have never   
taken to themselves form and reality1   
are still wandering in the limbo of the 
soul1 what is there to astonish us in   
the strange apparitions which sometimes 
come to visit our pillow8 ,at any rate1 
the fact remains that ,i was not able to
 force the phantom to tell me its name1 
nor to give any shape or distinctness to
 my reminiscence4  ,what a melancholy   

aspect life may wear to us when we are  
floating down the current of such dreamy
 thoughts as these6 ,it seems like some 
vast nocturnal shipwreck in which a     
hundred loving voices are clamoring for 
help1 while the pitiless mounting wave  
is silencing all the cries one by one1  
before we have been able1 in this       
darkness of death1 to press a hand or   
give the farewell kiss4 ,prom such a    
point of view destiny looks harsh1      
savage1 and cruel1 and the tragedy of   
life rises like a rock in the midst of  
the dull waters of daily triviality4 ,it
 is impossible not to be serious under  
the weight of indefinable anxiety       
produced in us by such a spectacle4 ,the
 surface of things may be smiling or    
commonplace1 but the depths below are   
austere and terrible4 ,as soon as we    
touch upon eternal things1 upon the     
destiny of the soul1 upon truth or duty1
 upon the secrets of life and death1 we 
become grave whether we will or no4     
,love at its highest point--love        

sublime1 unique1 invincible--leads us   
straight to the brink of the great      
abyss1 for it speaks to us directly of  
the infinite and of eternity4 ,it is    
eminently religious2 it may even become 
religion4 ,when all around a man is     
wavering and changing1 when everything  
is growing dark and featureless to him  
in the far distance of an unknown       
future1 when the world seems but a      
fiction or a fairy tale1 and the        
universe a chimera1 when the whole      
edifice of ideas vanishes in smoke1 and 
all realities are penetrated with doubt1
 what is the fixed point which may still
 be his8 ,the faithful heart of a woman6
 ,there he may rest his head2 there he  
will find strength to live1 strength to 
believe1 and1 if need be1 strength to   
die in peace with a benediction on his  
lips4 ,who knows if love and its        
beatitude1 clear manifestation as it is 
of the universal harmony of things1 is  
not the best demonstration of a fatherly
 and understanding ,god1 just as it is  

the shortest road by which to reach him8
 ,love is a faith1 and one faith leads  
to another4 ,and this faith is          
happiness1 light and force4 ,only by it 
does a man enter into the series of the 
living1 the awakened1 the happy1 the    
redeemed--of those true men who know the
 value of existence and who labor for   
the glory of ,god and of the truth4     
,till then we are but babblers and      
chatterers1 spendthrifts of our time1   
our faculties and our gifts1 without    
aim1 without real joy--weak1 infirm1 and
 useless beings1 of no account in the   
scheme of things4 ,perhaps it is through
 love that ,i shall find my way back to 
faith1 to religion1 to energy1 to       
concentration4 ,it seems to me1 at      
least1 that if ,i could but find my     
work-fellow and my destined companion1  
all the rest would be added unto me1 as 
though to confound my unbelief and make 
me blush for my despair4 ,believe1 then1
 in a fatherly ,providence1 and dare to 
love6  ,november #be1 #ahfc4--,prayer is

 the essential weapon of all religions4 
,he who can no longer pray because he   
doubts whether there is a being to whom 
prayer ascends and from whom blessing   
descends1 he indeed is cruelly solitary 
and prodigiously impoverished4 ,and you1
 what do you believe about it8 ,at this 
moment ,i should find it very difficult 
to say4 ,all my positive beliefs are in 
the crucible ready for any kind of      
metamorphosis4 ,truth above all1 even   
when it upsets and overwhelms us6 ,but  
what ,i believe is that the highest idea
 we can conceive of the principle of    
things will be the truest1 and that the 
truest truth is that which makes man the
 most wholly good1 wisest1 greatest1 and
 happiest4  ,my creed is in transition4 
,yet ,i still believe in ,god1 and the  
immortality of the soul4 ,i believe in  
holiness1 truth1 beauty2 ,i believe in  
the redemption of the soul by faith in  
forgiveness4 ,i believe in love1        
devotion1 honor4 ,i believe in duty and 
the moral conscience4 ,i believe even in

 prayer4 ,i believe in the fundamental  
intuitions of the human race1 and in the
 great affirmations of the inspired of  
all ages4 ,i believe that our higher    
nature is our truer nature4  ,can one   
get a theology and a theodicy out of    
this8 ,probably1 but just now ,i do not 
see it distinctly4 ,it is so long since 
,i have ceased to think about my own    
metaphysic1 and since ,i have lived in  
the thoughts of others1 that ,i am ready
 even to ask myself whether the         
crystallization of my beliefs is        
necessary4 ,yes1 for preaching and      
acting2 less for studying1 contemplating
 and learning4  ,december #d1           
#ahfc4--,the whole secret of remaining  
young in spite of years1 and even of    
gray hairs1 is to cherish enthusiasm in 
one's self by poetry1 by contemplation1 
by charity--that is1 in fewer words1 by 
the maintenance of harmony in the soul4 
,when everything is in its right place  
within us1 we ourselves are in          
equilibrium with the whole work of ,god4

 ,deep and grave enthusiasm for the     
eternal beauty and the eternal order1   
reason touched with emotion and a serene
 tenderness of heart--these surely are  
the foundations of wisdom4  ,wisdom6 how
 inexhaustible a theme6 ,a sort of      
peaceful aureole surrounds and illumines
 this thought1 in which are summed up   
all the treasures of moral experience1  
and which is the ripest fruit of a      
well-spent life4 ,wisdom never grows    
old1 for she is the expression of order 
itself--that is1 of the ,eternal4 ,only 
the wise man draws from life1 and from  
every stage of it1 its true savor1      
because only he feels the beauty1 the   
dignity1 and the value of life4 ,the    
flowers of youth may fade1 but the      
summer1 the autumn1 and even the winter 
of human existence1 have their majestic 
grandeur1 which the wise man recognizes 
and glorifies4 ,to see all things in    
,god2 to make of one's own life a       
journey toward the ideal2 to live with  
gratitude1 with devoutness1 with        

gentleness and courage2 this was the    
splendid aim of ,marcus ,aurelius4 ,and 
if you add to it the humility which     
kneels1 and the charity which gives1 you
 have the whole wisdom of the children  
of ,god1 the immortal joy which is the  
heritage of the true ,christian4 ,but   
what a false ,christianity is that which
 slanders wisdom and seeks to do without
 it6 ,in such a case ,i am on the side  
of wisdom1 which is1 as it were1 justice
 done to ,god1 even in this life4 ,the  
relegation of life to some distant      
future1 and the separation of the holy  
man from the virtuous man1 are the signs
 of a false religious conception4 ,this 
error is1 in some degree1 that of the   
whole ,middle ,age1 and belongs1        
perhaps1 to the essence of ,catholicism4
 ,but the true ,christianity must purge 
itself from so disastrous a mistake4    
,the eternal life is not the future     
life2 it is life in harmony with the    
true order of things--life in ,god4 ,we 
must learn to look upon time as a       

movement of eternity1 as an undulation  
in the ocean of being4 ,to live1 so as  
to keep this consciousness of ours in   
perpetual relation with the eternal1 is 
to be wise2 to live1 so as to personify 
and embody the eternal1 is to be        
religious4  ,the modern leveler1 after  
having done away with conventional      
inequalities1 with arbitrary privilege  
and historical injustice1 goes still    
farther1 and rebels against the         
inequalities of merit1 capacity1 and    
virtue4 ,beginning with a just          
principle1 he develops it into an unjust
 one4 ,inequality may be as true and as 
just as equality3 it depends upon what  
you mean by it4 ,but this is precisely  
what nobody cares to find out4 ,all     
passions dread the light1 and the modern
 zeal for equality is a disguised hatred
 which tries to pass itself off as love4
  ,liberty1 equality--bad principles6   
,the only true principle for humanity is
 justice1 and justice toward the feeble 
becomes necessarily protection or       

kindness4  ,april #b1 #ahfd4--,to-day   
,april has been displaying her showery  
caprices4 ,we have had floods of        
sunshine followed by deluges of rain1   
alternate tears and smiles from the     
petulant sky1 gusts of wind and storms4 
,the weather is like a spoiled child    
whose wishes and expression change      
twenty times in an hour4 ,it is a       
blessing for the plants1 and means an   
influx of life through all the veins of 
the spring4 ,the circle of mountains    
which bounds the valley is covered with 
white from top to toe1 but two hours of 
sunshine would melt the snow away4 ,the 
snow itself is but a new caprice1 a     
simple stage decoration ready to        
disappear at the signal of the          
scene-shifter4  ,how sensible ,i am to  
the restless change which rules the     
world4 ,to appear1 and to vanish--there 
is the biography of all individuals1    
whatever may be the length of the cycle 
of existence which they describe1 and   
the drama of the universe is nothing    

more4 ,all life is the shadow of a      
smoke-wreath1 a gesture in the empty    
air1 a hieroglyph traced for an instant 
in the sand1 and effaced a moment       
afterward by a breath of wind1 an       
air-bubble expanding and vanishing on   
the surface of the great river of       
being--an appearance1 a vanity1 a       
nothing4 ,but this nothing is1 however1 
the symbol of the universal being1 and  
this passing bubble is the epitome of   
the history of the world4  ,the man who 
has1 however imperceptibly1 helped in   
the work of the universe1 has lived2 the
 man who has been conscious1 in however 
small a degree1 of the cosmical         
movement1 has lived also4 ,the plain man
 serves the world by his action and as a
 wheel in the machine2 the thinker      
serves it by his intellect1 and as a    
light upon its path4 ,the man of        
meditative soul1 who raises and comforts
 and sustains his traveling companions1 
mortal and fugitive like himself1 plays 
a nobler part still1 for he unites the  

other two utilities4 ,action1 thought1  
speech1 are the three modes of human    
life4 ,the artisan1 the savant1 and the 
orator1 are all three ,god's workmen4   
,to do1 to discover1 to teach--these    
three things are all labor1 all good1   
all necessary4 ,will-o'-the-wisps that  
we are1 we may yet leave a trace behind 
us2 meteors that we are1 we may yet     
prolong our perishable being in the     
memory of men1 or at least in the       
contexture of after events4 ,everything 
disappears1 but nothing is lost1 and the
 civilization or city of man is but an  
immense spiritual pyramid1 built up out 
of the work of all that has ever lived  
under the forms of moral being1 just as 
our calcareous mountains are made of the
 debris of myriads of nameless creatures
 who have lived under the forms of      
microscopic animal life4  ,april #e1    
#ahfd4--;,i have been reading 8,prince  
,vitale0 for the second time1 and have  
been lost in admiration of it4 ,what    
wealth of color1 facts1 ideas--what     

learning1 what fine-edged satire1 what  
esprit1 science1 and talent1 and what an
 irreproachable finish of style--so     
limpid1 and yet so profound6 ,it is not 
heartfelt and it is not spontaneous1 but
 all other kinds of merit1 culture1 and 
cleverness the author possesses4 ,it    
would be impossible to be more          
penetrating1 more subtle1 and less      
fettered in mind1 than this wizard of   
language1 with his irony and his        
chameleon-like variety4 ,victor         
,cherbuliez1 like the sphinx1 is able to
 play all lyres1 and takes his profit   
from them all1 with a ,goethe-like      
serenity4 ,it seems as if passion1      
grief1 and error had no hold on this    
impassive soul4 ,the key of his thought 
is to be looked for in ,hegel's         
8,phenomenology of ,mind10 remolded by  
,greek and ,french influences4  ,his    
faith1 if he has one1 is that of        
,strauss-,humanism4 ,but he is perfectly
 master of himself and of his           
utterances1 and will take good care     

never to preach anything prematurely4   
,what is there quite at the bottom of   
this deep spring8  ,in any case a mind  
as free as any can possibly be from     
stupidity and prejudice4 ,one might     
almost say that ,cherbuliez knows all   
that he wishes to know1 without the     
trouble of learning it4 ,he is a calm   
,mephistopheles1 with perfect manners1  
grace1 variety1 and an exquisite        
urbanity2 and ,mephisto is a clever     
jeweler2 and this jeweler is a subtle   
musician2 and this fine singer and      
storyteller1 with his amber-like        
delicacy and brilliancy1 is making mock 
of us all the while4 ,he takes a        
malicious pleasure in withdrawing his   
own personality from scrutiny and       
divination1 while he himself divines    
everything1 and he likes to make us feel
 that although he holds in his hand the 
secret of the universe1 he will only    
unfold his prize at his own time1 and if
 it pleases him4 ,victor ,cherbuliez is 
a little like ,proudhon and plays with  

paradoxes1 to shock the bourgeois4 ,thus
 he amuses himself with running down    
,luther and the ,reformation in favor of
 the ,renaissance4 ,of the troubles of  
conscience he seems to know nothing4    
,his supreme tribunal is reason4 ,at    
bottom he is ,hegelian and              
intellectualist4 ,but it is a splendid  
organization4 ,only sometimes he must be
 antipathetic to those men of duty who  
make renunciation1 sacrifice1 and       
humility the measure of individual      
worth4  ,july1 #ahfd4--;,among the ,alps
 ,i become a child again1 with all the  
follies and navet of childhood4 ,shaking
 off the weight of years1 the trappings 
of office1 and all the tiresome and     
ridiculous caution with which one lives1
 ,i plunge into the full tide of        
pleasure1 and amuse myself sans faon1 as
 it comes4 ,in this careless            
light-hearted mood1 my ordinary formulas
 and habits fall away from me so        
completely that ,i feel myself no longer
 either townsman1 or professor1 or      

savant1 or bachelor1 and ,i remember no 
more of my past than if it were a dream4
 ,it is like a bath in ,lethe4  ,it     
makes me really believe that the        
smallest illness would destroy my       
memory1 and wipe out all my previous    
existence1 when ,i see with what ease ,i
 become a stranger to myself1 and fall  
back once more into the condition of a  
blank sheet1 a tabula rasa4 ,life wears 
such a dream-aspect to me that ,i can   
throw myself without any difficulty into
 the situation of the dying1 before     
whose eyes all this tumult of images and
 forms fades into nothingness4 ,i have  
the inconsistency of a fluid1 a vapor1 a
 cloud1 and all is easily unmade or     
transformed in me2 everything passes and
 is effaced like the waves which follow 
each other on the sea4 ,when ,i say all1
 ,i mean all that is arbitrary1         
indifferent1 partial1 or intellectual in
 the combinations of one's life4 ,for ,i
 feel that the things of the soul1 our  
immortal aspirations1 our deepest       

affections1 are not drawn into this     
chaotic whirlwind of impressions4 ,it is
 the finite things which are mortal and 
fugitive4 ,every man feels it ,,oh his  
deathbed4 ,i feel it during the whole of
 life2 that is the only difference      
between me and others4 ,excepting only  
love1 thought1 and liberty1 almost      
everything is now a matter of           
indifference to me1 and those objects   
which excite the desires of most men1   
rouse in me little more than curiosity4 
,what does it mean--detachment of soul1 
disinterestedness1 weakness1 or wisdom8 
,september #ai1 #ahfd4--;,i have been   
living for two hours with a noble       
soul--with ,eugnie de ,gurin1 the pious 
heroine of fraternal love4 ,how many    
thoughts1 feelings1 griefs1 in this     
journal of six years6 ,how it makes one 
dream1 think and live6 ,it produces a   
certain homesick impression on me1 a    
little like that of certain forgotten   
melodies whereof the accent touches the 
heart1 one knows not why4 ,it is as     

though far-off paths came back to me1   
glimpses of youth1 a confused murmur of 
voices1 echoes from my past4 ,purity1   
melancholy1 piety1 a thousand memories  
of a past existence1 forms fantastic and
 intangible1 like the fleeting shadows  
of a dream at waking1 began to circle   
round the astonished reader4  ,september
 #bj1 #ahfd4--,read ,eugnie de ,gurin's 
volume again right and left with a      
growing sense of attraction4 ,everything
 is heart1 force1 impulse1 in these     
pages which have the power of sincerity 
and a brilliance of suffused poetry4 ,a 
great and strong soul1 a clear mind1    
distinction1 elevation1 the freedom of  
unconscious talent1 reserve and         
depth--nothing is wanting for this      
,svign of the fields1 who has to hold   
herself in with both hands lest she     
should write verse1 so strong in her is 
the artistic impulse4  ,october #af1    
#ahfd4--;,i have just read a part of    
,eugnie de ,gurin's journal over again4 
,it charmed me a little less than the   

first time4 ,the nature seemed to me as 
beautiful1 but the life of ,eugnie was  
too empty1 and the circle of ideas which
 occupied her1 too narrow4  ,it is      
touching and wonderful to see how little
 space is enough for thought to spread  
its wings in1 but this perpetual motion 
within the four walls of a cell ends    
none the less by becoming wearisome to  
minds which are accustomed to embrace   
more objects in their field of vision4  
,instead of a garden1 the world2 instead
 of a library1 the whole of literature2 
instead of three or four faces1 a whole 
people and all history--this is what the
 virile1 the philosophic temper demands4
 ,men must have more air1 more room1    
mere horizon1 more positive knowledge1  
and they end by suffocating in this     
little cage where ,eugenie lives and    
moves1 though the breath of heaven blows
 into it and the radiance of the stars  
shines down upon it4  ,october #bg1     
#ahfd4 7,promenade de la                
,treille74--,the air this morning was so

 perfectly clear and lucid that one     
might have distinguished a figure on the
 ,vouache4 ,footnote3 ,the ,vouache is  
the hill which bounds the horizon of    
,geneva to the south-west4 ,this level  
and brilliant sun had set fire to the   
whole range of autumn colors2 amber1    
saffron1 gold1 sulphur1 yellow ochre1   
orange1 red1 copper-color1 aquamarine1  
amaranth1 shone resplendent on the      
leaves which were still hanging from the
 boughs or had already fallen beneath   
the trees4 ,it was delicious4 ,the      
martial step of our two battalions going
 out to their drilling-ground1 the      
sparkle of the guns1 the song of the    
bugles1 the sharp distinctness of the   
house outlines1 still moist with the    
morning dew1 the transparent coolness of
 all the shadows--every detail in the   
scene was instinct with a keen and      
wholesome gayety4  ,there are two forms 
of autumn3 there is the misty and dreamy
 autumn1 there is the vivid and         
brilliant autumn3 almost the difference 

between the two sexes4 ,the very word   
autumn is both masculine and feminine4  
,has not every season1 in some fashion1 
its two sexes8 ,has it not its minor and
 its major key1 its two sides of light  
and shadow1 gentleness and force8       
,perhaps4 ,all that is perfect is       
double2 each face has two profiles1 each
 coin two sides4 ,the scarlet autumn    
stands for vigorous activity3 the gray  
autumn for meditative feeling4 ,the one 
is expansive and overflowing2 the other 
still and withdrawn4 ,yesterday our     
thoughts were with the dead4 ,to-day we 
are celebrating the vintage4  ,november 
#af1 #ahfd4--;,heard of the death of--4 
,will and intelligence lasted till there
 was an effusion on the brain which     
stopped everything4  ,a bubble of air in
 the blood1 a drop of water in the      
brain1 and a man is out of gear1 his    
machine falls to pieces1 his thought    
vanishes1 the world disappears from him 
like a dream at morning4 ,on what a     
spider thread is hung our individual    

existence6 ,fragility1 appearance1      
nothingness4 ,if it were for our powers 
of self-detraction and forgetfulness1   
all the fairy world which surrounds and 
draws us would seem to us but a broken  
spectre in the darkness1 an empty       
appearance1 a fleeting hallucination4   
,appeared--disappeared--there is the    
whole history of a man1 or of a world1  
or of an infusoria4  ,time is the       
supreme illusion4 ,it is but the inner  
prism by which we decompose being and   
life1 the mode under which we perceive  
successively what is simultaneous in    
idea4 ,the eye does not see a sphere all
 at once although the sphere exists all 
at once4 ,either the sphere must turn   
before the eye which is looking at it1  
or the eye must go round the sphere4 ,in
 the first case it is the world which   
unrolls1 or seems to unroll in time2 in 
the second case it is our thought which 
successively analyzes and recomposes4   
,for the supreme intelligence there is  
no time2 what will be1 is4 ,time and    

space are fragments of the infinite for 
the use of finite creatures4 ,god       
permits them1 that he may not be alone4 
,they are the mode under which creatures
 are possible and conceivable4 ,let us  
add that they are also the ,jacob's     
ladder of innumerable steps by which the
 creation reascends to its ,creator1    
participates in being1 tastes of life1  
perceives the absolute1 and can adore   
the fathomless mystery of the infinite  
divinity4 ,that is the other side of the
 question4 ,our life is nothing1 it is  
true1 but our life is divine4 ,a breath 
of nature annihilates us1 but we surpass
 nature in penetrating far beyond her   
vast phantasmagoria to the changeless   
and the eternal4 ,to escape by the      
ecstasy of inward vision from the       
whirlwind of time1 to see one's self sub
 specie eterni is the word of command of
 all the great religions of the higher  
races2 and this psychological           
possibility is the foundation of all    
great hopes4 ,the soul may be immortal  

because she is fitted to rise toward    
that which is neither born nor dies1    
toward that which exists substantially1 
necessarily1 invariably1 that is to say 
toward ,god4  ,to know how to suggest is
 the great art of teaching4 ,to attain  
it we must be able to guess what will   
interest2 we must learn to read the     
childish soul as we might a piece of    
music4 ,then1 by simply changing the    
key1 we keep up the attraction and vary 
the song4  ,the germs of all things are 
in every heart1 and the greatest        
criminals as well as the greatest heroes
 are but different modes of ourselves4  
,only evil grows of itself1 while for   
goodness we want effort and courage4    
,melancholy is at the bottom of         
everything1 just as at the end of all   
rivers is the sea4 ,can it be otherwise 
in a world where nothing lasts1 where   
all that we have loved or shall love    
must die8 ,is death1 then1 the secret of
 life8 ,the gloom of an eternal mourning
 enwraps1 more or less closely1 every   

serious and thoughtful soul1 as night   
enwraps the universe4  ,a man takes to  
8piety0 from a thousand different       
reasons--from imitation or from         
eccentricity1 from bravado or from      
reverence1 from shame of the past or    
from terror of the future1 from weakness
 and from pride1 for pleasure's sake or 
for punishment's sake1 in order to be   
able to judge1 or in order to escape    
being judged1 and for a thousand other  
reasons2 but he only becomes truly      
religious for religion's sake4  ,january
 #aa1 #ahfe4--;,it is pleasant to feel  
nobly--that is to say1 to live above the
 lowlands of vulgarity4 ,manufacturing  
,americanism and ,caesarian democracy   
tend equally to the multiplying of      
crowds1 governed by appetite1 applauding
 charlatanism1 vowed to the worship of  
mammon and of pleasure1 and adoring no  
other ,god than force4 ,what poor       
samples of mankind they are who make up 
this growing majority6 ,oh1 let us      
remain faithful to the altars of the    

ideal6 ,it is possible that the         
spiritualists may become the stoics of a
 new epoch of ,caesarian rule4          
,materialistic naturalism has the wind  
in its sails1 and a general moral       
deterioration is preparing4 ,,no matter1
 so long as the salt does not lose its  
savor1 and so long as the friends of the
 higher life maintain the fire of       
,vesta4 ,the wood itself may choke the  
flame1 but if the flame persists1 the   
fire will only be the more splendid in  
the end4 ,the great democratic deluge   
will not after all be able to effect    
what the invasion of the barbarians was 
powerless to bring about2 it will not   
drown altogether the results of the     
higher culture2 but we must resign      
ourselves to the fact that it tends in  
the beginning to deform and vulgarize   
everything4 ,it is clear that aesthetic 
delicacy1 elegance1 distinction1 and    
nobleness--that atticism1 urbanity1     
whatever is suave and exquisite1 fine   
and subtle--all that makes the charm of 

the higher kinds of literature and of   
aristocratic cultivation--vanishes      
simultaneously with the society which   
corresponds to it4 ,if1 as ,pascal1     
,footnote3 ,the saying of ,pascal's     
alluded to is in the ,penses1 ,art4 xi4 
,no4 #aj3 8,a mesure qu'on a plus       
d'esprit on trouve qu'il y a plus       
d'hommes originaux4 ,les gens du commun 
ne trouvent pas de diffrence entre les  
hommes40 ,i think1 says1 the more one   
develops1 the more difference one       
observes between man and man1 then we   
cannot say that the democratic instinct 
tends to mental development1 since it   
tends to make a man believe that the    
pretensions have only to be the same to 
make the merits equal also4  ,march #bj1
 #ahfe4--;,i have just heard of fresh   
cases of insubordination among the      
students4 ,our youth become less and    
less docile1 and seem to take for their 
motto1 8,our master is our enemy40 ,the 
boy insists upon having the privileges  
of the young man1 and the young man     

tries to keep those of the gamin4 ,at   
bottom all this is the natural          
consequence of our system of leveling   
democracy4 ,as soon as difference of    
quality is1 in politics1 officially     
equal to zero1 the authority of age1 of 
knowledge1 and of function disappears4  
,the only counterpoise of pure equality 
is military discipline4 ,in military    
uniform1 in the police court1 in prison1
 or on the execution ground1 there is no
 reply possible4 ,but is it not curious 
that the rgime of individual right      
should lead to nothing but respect for  
brute strength8 ,jacobinism brings with 
it ,caesarism2 the rule of the tongue   
leads to the rule of the sword4         
,democracy and liberty are not one but  
two4 ,a republic supposes a high state  
of morals1 but no such state of morals  
is possible without the habit of        
respect2 and there is no respect without
 humility4 ,now the pretension that     
every man has the necessary qualities of
 a citizen1 simply because he was born  

twenty-one years ago1 is as much as to  
say that labor1 merit1 virtue1          
character1 and experience are to count  
for nothing2 and we destroy humility    
when we proclaim that a man becomes the 
equal of all other men1 by the mere     
mechanical and vegetative process of    
natural growth4 ,such a claim           
annihilates even the respect for age2   
for as the elector of twenty-one is     
worth as much as the elector of fifty1  
the boy of nineteen has no serious      
reason to believe himself in any way the
 inferior of his elder by one or two    
years4 ,thus the fiction on which the   
political order of democracy is based   
ends in something altogether opposed to 
that which democracy desires3 its aim   
was to increase the whole sum of        
liberty2 but the result is to diminish  
it for all4  ,the modern state is       
founded on the philosophy of atomism4   
,nationality1 public spirit1 tradition1 
national manners1 disappear like so many
 hollow and worn-out entities2 nothing  

remains to create movement but the      
action of molecular force and of dead   
weight4 ,in such a theory liberty is    
identified with caprice1 and the        
collective reason and age-long tradition
 of an old society are nothing more than
 soap-bubbles which the smallest urchin 
may shiver with a snap of the fingers4  
,does this mean that ,i am an opponent  
of democracy8 ,not at all4 ,fiction for 
fiction1 it is the least harmful4 ,but  
it is well not to confound its promises 
with realities4 ,the fiction consists in
 the postulate of all democratic        
government1 that the great majority of  
the electors in a state are enlightened1
 free1 honest1 and patriotic--whereas   
such a postulate is a mere chimera4 ,the
 majority in any state is necessarily   
composed of the most ignorant1 the      
poorest1 and the least capable2 the     
state is therefore at the mercy of      
accident and passion1 and it always ends
 by succumbing at one time or another to
 the rash conditions which have been    

made for its existence4 ,a man who      
condemns himself to live upon the       
tight-rope must inevitably fall2 one has
 no need to be a prophet to foresee such
 a result4  8,greek3 ,aridton men udor10
 said ,pindar2 the best thing in the    
world is wisdom1 and1 in default of     
wisdom1 science4 ,states1 churches1     
society itself1 may fall to pieces2     
science alone has nothing to fear--until
 at least society once more falls a prey
 to barbarism4 ,unfortunately this      
triumph of barbarism is not impossible4 
,the victory of the socialist ,utopia1  
or the horrors of a religious war1      
reserve for us perhaps even this        
lamentable experience4  ,april #c1      
#ahfe4--,what doctor possesses such     
curative resources as those latent in a 
spark of happiness or a single ray of   
hope8 ,the mainspring of life is in the 
heart4 ,joy is the vital air of the     
soul1 and grief is a kind of asthma     
complicated by atony4 ,our dependence   
upon surrounding circumstances increases

 with our own physical weakness1 and on 
the other hand1 in health there is      
liberty4 ,health is the first of all    
liberties1 and happiness gives us the   
energy which is the basis of health4 ,to
 make any one happy1 then1 is strictly  
to augment his store of being1 to double
 the intensity of his life1 to reveal   
him to himself1 to ennoble him and      
transfigure him4 ,happiness does away   
with ugliness1 and even makes the beauty
 of beauty4 ,the man who doubts it1 can 
never have watched the first gleams of  
tenderness dawning in the clear eyes of 
one who loves2 sunrise itself is a      
lesser marvel4 ,in paradise1 then1      
everybody will be beautiful4 ,for1 as   
the righteous soul is naturally         
beautiful1 as the spiritual body is but 
the visibility of the soul1 its         
impalpable and angelic form1 and as     
happiness beautifies all that it        
penetrates or even touches1 ugliness    
will have no more place in the universe1
 and will disappear with grief1 sin1 and

 death4  ,to the materialist philosopher
 the beautiful is a mere accident1 and  
therefore rare4 ,to the spiritualist    
philosopher the beautiful is the rule1  
the law1 the universal foundation of    
things1 to which every form returns as  
soon as the force of accident is        
withdrawn4 ,why are we ugly8 ,because we
 are not in the angelic state1 because  
we are evil1 morose1 and unhappy4       
,heroism1 ecstasy1 prayer1 love1        
enthusiasm1 weave a halo round the brow1
 for they are a setting free of the     
soul1 which through them gains force to 
make its envelope transparent and shine 
through upon all around it4 ,beauty is1 
then1 a phenomenon belonging to the     
spiritualization of matter4 ,it is a    
momentary transfiguration of the        
privileged object or being--a token     
fallen from heaven to earth in order to 
remind us of the ideal world4 ,to study 
it1 is to ,platonize almost inevitably4 
,as a powerful electric current can     
render metals luminous1 and reveal their

 essence by the color of their flame1 so
 intense life and supreme joy can make  
the most simple mortal dazzlingly       
beautiful4 ,man1 therefore1 is never    
more truly man than in these divine     
states4  ,the ideal1 after all1 is truer
 than the real3 for the ideal is the    
eternal element in perishable things3 it
 is their type1 their sum1 their raison 
d'tre1 their formula in the book of the 
,creator1 and therefore at once the most
 exact and the most condensed expression
 of them4  ,april #aa1 #ahfe4--;,i have 
been measuring and making a trial of the
 new gray plaid which is to take the    
place of my old mountain shawl4 ,the old
 servant which has been my companion for
 ten years1 and which recalls to me so  
many poetical and delightful memories1  
pleases me better than its brilliant    
successor1 even though this last has    
been a present from a friendly hand4    
,but can anything take the place of the 
past1 and have not even the inanimate   
witnesses of our life voice and language

 for us8 ,glion1 ,villars1              
,albisbrunnen1 the ,righi1 the          
,chamossaire1 and a hundred other       
places1 have left something of          
themselves behind them in the meshes of 
this woolen stuff which makes a part of 
my most intimate history4 ,the shawl1   
besides1 is the only chivalrous article 
of dress which is still left to the     
modern traveler1 the only thing about   
him which may be useful to others than  
himself1 and by means of which he may   
still do his devoir to fair women6 ,how 
many times mine has served them for a   
cushion1 a cloak1 a shelter1 on the damp
 grass of the ,alps1 on seats of hard   
rock1 or in the sudden cool of the      
pinewood1 during the walks1 the rests1  
the readings1 and the chats of mountain 
life6 ,how many kindly smiles it has won
 for me6 ,even its blemishes are dear to
 me1 for each darn and tear has its     
story1 each scar is an armorial bearing4
 ,this tear was made by a hazel tree    
under ,jaman--that by the buckle of a   

strap on the ,frohnalp--that1 again1 by 
a bramble at ,charnex2 and each time    
fairy needles have repaired the injury4 
8,mon vieux manteau1 que je vous        
remercie   ,car c'est  vous que je dois 
ces plaisirs60  ,and has it not been to 
me a friend in suffering1 a companion in
 good and evil fortune8 ,it reminds me  
of that centaur's tunic which could not 
be torn off without carrying away the   
flesh and blood of its wearer4 ,i am    
unwilling to give it up2 whatever       
gratitude for the past1 and whatever    
piety toward my vanished youth is in me1
 seem to forbid it4 ,the warp of this   
rag is woven out of ,alpine joys1 and   
its woof out of human affections4 ,it   
also says to me in its own way3         
8,pauvre bouquet1 fleurs aujourd'hui    
fanes60  ,and the appeal is one of those
 which move the heart1 although profane 
ears neither hear it nor understand it4 
,what a stab there is in those words1   
thou hast been6 when the sense of them  
becomes absolutely clear to us4 ,one    

feels one's self sinking gradually into 
one's grave1 and the past tense sounds  
the knell of our illusions as to        
ourselves4 ,what is past is past3 gray  
hairs will never become black curls     
again2 the forces1 the gifts1 the       
attractions of youth1 have vanished with
 our young days4    8,plus d'amour2     
partant plus de joie40  ,how hard it is 
to grow old1 when we have missed our    
life1 when we have neither the crown of 
completed manhood nor of fatherhood6    
,how sad it is to feel the mind         
declining before it has done its work1  
and the body growing weaker before it   
has seen itself renewed in those who    
might close our eyes and honor our name6
 ,the tragic solemnity of existence     
strikes us with terrible force1 on that 
morning when we wake to find the        
mournful word too late ringing in our   
ears6 8,too late1 the sand is turned1   
the hour is past6 ,thy harvest is       
unreaped--too late6 ,thou hast been     
dreaming1 forgetting1 sleeping--so much 

the worse6 ,every man rewards or        
punishes himself4 ,to whom or of whom   
wouldst thou complain80--,alas6  ,april 
#ba1 #ahfe4 7,mornex74--,a morning of   
intoxicating beauty1 fresh as the       
feelings of sixteen1 and crowned with   
flowers like a bride4 ,the poetry of    
youth1 of innocence1 and of love1       
overflowed my soul4 ,even to the light  
mist hovering over the bosom of the     
plain--image of that tender modesty     
which veils the features and shrouds in 
mystery the inmost thoughts of the      
maiden--everything that ,i saw delighted
 my eyes and spoke to my imagination4   
,it was a sacred1 a nuptial day6 and the
 matin bells ringing in some distant    
village harmonized marvelously with the 
hymn of nature4 8,pray10 they said1 8and
 love6 ,adore a fatherly and beneficent 
,god40 ,they recalled to me the accent  
of ,haydn2 there was in them and in the 
landscape a childlike joyousness1 a nave
 gratitude1 a radiant heavenly joy      
innocent of pain and sin1 like the      

sacred1 simple-hearted ravishment of    
,eve on the first day of her awakening  
in the new world4 ,how good a thing is  
feeling1 admiration6 ,it is the bread of
 angels1 the eternal food of cherubim   
and seraphim4  ,i have not yet felt the 
air so pure1 so life-giving1 so         
ethereal1 during the five days that ,i  
have been here4 ,to breathe is a        
beatitude4 ,one understands the delights
 of a bird's existence--that            
emancipation from all encumbering       
weight--that luminous and empyrean life1
 floating in blue space1 and passing    
from one horizon to another with a      
stroke of the wing4 ,one must have a    
great deal of air below one before one  
can be conscious of such inner freedom  
as this1 such lightness of the whole    
being4 ,every element has its poetry1   
but the poetry of air is liberty4       
,enough2 to your work1 dreamer6  ,may   
#cj1 #ahfe4--;,all snakes fascinate     
their prey1 and pure wickedness seems to
 inherit the power of fascination       

granted to the serpent4 ,it stupefies   
and bewilders the simple heart1 which   
sees it without understanding it1 which 
touches it without being able to believe
 in it1 and which sinks engulfed in the 
problem of it1 like ,empedocles in      
,etna4 ,non possum capere te1 cape me1  
says the ,aristotelian motto4 ,every    
diminutive of ,beelzebub is an abyss1   
each demoniacal act is a gulf of        
darkness4 ,natural cruelty1 inborn      
perfidy and falseness1 even in animals1 
cast lurid gleams1 as it were1 into that
 fathomless pit of ,satanic perversity  
which is a moral reality4  ,nevertheless
 behind this thought there rises another
 which tells me that sophistry is at the
 bottom of human wickedness1 that the   
majority of monsters like to justify    
themselves in their own eyes1 and that  
the first attribute of the ,evil ,one is
 to be the father of lies4 ,before crime
 is committed conscience must be        
corrupted1 and every bad man who        
succeeds in reaching a high point of    

wickedness begins with this4 ,it is all 
very well to say that hatred is murder2 
the man who hates is determined to see  
nothing in it but an act of moral       
hygiene4 ,it is to do himself good that 
he does evil1 just as a mad dog bites to
 get rid of his thirst4  ,to injure     
others while at the same time knowingly 
injuring one's self is a step farther2  
evil then becomes a frenzy1 which1 in   
its turn1 sharpens into a cold ferocity4
  ,whenever a man1 under the influence  
of such a diabolical passion1 surrenders
 himself to these instincts of the wild 
or venomous beast he must seem to the   
angels a madman--a lunatic1 who kindles 
his own ,gehenna that he may consume the
 world in it1 or as much of it as his   
devilish desires can lay hold upon4     
,wickedness is forever beginning a new  
spiral which penetrates deeper still    
into the abysses of abomination1 for the
 circles of hell have this              
property--that they have no end4 ,it    
seems as though divine perfection were  

an infinite of the first degree1 but as 
though diabolical perfection were an    
infinite of unknown power4 ,but no2 for 
if so1 evil would be the true ,god1 and 
hell would swallow up creation4         
,according to the ,persian and the      
,christian faiths1 good is to conquer   
evil1 and perhaps even ,satan himself   
will be restored to grace--which is as  
much as to say that the divine order    
will be everywhere re-established4 ,love
 will be more potent than hatred2 ,god  
will save his glory1 and his glory is in
 his goodness4 ,but it is very true that
 all gratuitous wickedness troubles the 
soul1 because it seems to make the great
 lines of the moral order tremble within
 us by the sudden withdrawal of the     
curtain which hides from us the action  
of those dark corrosive forces which    
have ranged themselves in battle against
 the divine plan4  ,june #bf1           
#ahfe4--,one may guess the why and      
wherefore of a tear and yet find it too 
subtle to give any account of4 ,a tear  

may be the poetical resum of so many    
simultaneous impressions1 the           
quintessence of so many opposing        
thoughts6 ,it is like a drop of one of  
those precious elixirs of the ,east     
which contain the life of twenty plants 
fused into a single aroma4 ,sometimes it
 is the mere overflow of the soul1 the  
running over of the cup of reverie4 ,all
 that one cannot or will not say1 all   
that one refuses to confess even to     
one's self--confused desires1 secret    
trouble1 suppressed grief1 smothered    
conflict1 voiceless regret1 the emotions
 we have struggled against1 the pain we 
have sought to hide1 our superstitious  
fears1 our vague sufferings1 our        
restless presentiments1 our unrealized  
dreams1 the wounds inflicted upon our   
ideal1 the dissatisfied languor1 the    
vain hopes1 the multitude of small      
indiscernible ills which accumulate     
slowly in a corner of the heart like    
water dropping noiselessly from the roof
 of a cavern--all these mysterious      

movements of the inner life end in an   
instant of emotion1 and the emotion     
concentrates itself in a tear just      
visible on the edge of the eyelid4  ,for
 the rest1 tears express joy as well as 
sadness4 ,they are the symbol of the    
powerlessness of the soul to restrain   
its emotion and to remain mistress of   
itself4 ,speech implies analysis2 when  
we are overcome by sensation or by      
feeling analysis ceases1 and with it    
speech and liberty4 ,our only resource1 
after silence and stupor1 is the        
language of action--pantomime4 ,any     
oppressive weight of thought carries us 
back to a stage anterior to humanity1 to
 a gesture1 a cry1 a sob1 and at last to
 swooning and collapse2 that is to say1 
incapable of bearing the excessive      
strain of sensation as men1 we fall back
 successively to the stage of mere      
animate being1 and then to that of the  
vegetable4 ,dante swoons at every turn  
in his journey through hell1 and nothing
 paints better the violence of his      

emotions and the ardor of his piety4    
444 ,and intense joy8 ,it also withdraws
 into itself and is silent4 ,to speak is
 to disperse and scatter4 ,words isolate
 and localize life in a single point2   
they touch only the circumference of    
being2 they analyze1 they treat one     
thing at a time4 ,thus they decentralize
 emotion1 and chill it in doing so4 ,the
 heart would fain brood over its        
feeling1 cherishing and protecting it4  
,its happiness is silent and meditative2
 it listens to its own beating and feeds
 religiously upon itself4  ,august #h1  
#ahfe4 7,gryon sur ,bex74--,splendid    
moonlight without a cloud4 ,the night is
 solemn and majestic4 ,the regiment of  
giants sleeps while the stars keep      
sentinel4 ,in the vast shadow of the    
valley glimmer a few scattered roofs1   
while the torrent1 organ-like1 swells   
its eternal note in the depths of this  
mountain cathedral which has the heavens
 for roof4  ,a last look at this blue   
night and boundless landscape4 ,jupiter 

is just setting on the counterscarp of  
the ,dent du ,midi4 ,prom the starry    
vault descends an invisible snow-shower 
of dreams1 calling us to a pure sleep4  
,nothing of voluptuous or enervating in 
this nature4 ,all is strong1 austere and
 pure4 ,good night to all the world6--to
 the unfortunate and to the happy4 ,rest
 and refreshment1 renewal and hope2 a   
day is dead--vive le lendemain6         
,midnight is striking4 ,another step    
made toward the tomb4  ,august #ac1     
#ahfe4--;,i have just read through again
 the letter of ,j4 ,j4 ,rousseau to     
,archbishop ,beaumont with a little less
 admiration than ,i felt for it--was it 
ten or twelve years ago8 ,this emphasis1
 this precision1 which never tires of   
itself1 tires the reader in the long    
run4 ,the intensity of the style        
produces on one the impression of a     
treatise on mathematics4 ,one feels the 
need of relaxation after it in something
 easy1 natural1 and gay4 ,the language  
of ,rousseau demands an amount of labor 

which makes one long for recreation and 
relief4  ,but how many writers and how  
many books descend from our ,rousseau6  
,on my way ,i noticed the points of     
departure of ,chteaubriand1 ,lamennais1 
,proudhon4 ,proudhon1 for instance1     
modeled the plan of his great work1 8,de
 la ,justice dang l',eglise et dans la  
,rvolution10 upon the letter of         
,rousseau to ,beaumont2 his three       
volumes are a string of letters to an   
archbishop2 eloquence1 daring1 and      
elocution are all fused in a kind of    
persiflage1 which is the foundation of  
the whole4  ,how many men we may find in
 one man1 how many styles in a great    
writer6 ,rousseau1 for instance1 has    
created a number of different genres4   
,imagination transforms him1 and he is  
able to play the most varied parts with 
credit1 among them even that of the pure
 logician4 ,but as the imagination is   
his intellectual axis--his master       
faculty--he is1 as it were1 in all his  
works only half sincere1 only half in   

earnest4 ,we feel that his talent has   
laid him the wager of ,carneades2 it    
will lose no cause1 however bad1 as soon
 as the point of honor ,is engaged4 ,it 
is indeed the temptation of all talent  
to subordinate things to itself and not 
itself to things2 to conquer for the    
sake of conquest1 and to put self-love  
in the place of conscience4 ,talent is  
glad enough1 no doubt1 to triumph in a  
good cause2 but it easily becomes a free
 lance1 content1 whatever the cause1 so 
long as victory follows its banner4 ,i  
do not know even whether success in a   
weak and bad cause is not the most      
flattering for talent1 which then       
divides the honors of its triumph with  
nothing and no one4  ,paradox is the    
delight of clever people and the joy of 
talent4 ,it is so pleasant to pit one's 
self against the world1 and to overbear 
mere commonplace good sense and vulgar  
platitudes6 ,talent and love of truth   
are then not identical2 their tendencies
 and their paths are different4 ,in     

order to make talent obey when its      
instinct is rather to command1 a        
vigilant moral sense and great energy of
 character are needed4 ,the             
,greeks--those artists of the spoken or 
written word--were artificial by the    
time of ,ulysses1 sophists by the time  
of ,pericles1 cunning1 rhetorical1 and  
versed in all the arts of the courtier  
down to the end of the lower empire4    
,from the talent of the nation sprang   
its vices4  ,for a man to make his mark1
 like ,rousseau by polemics1 is to      
condemn himself to perpetual            
exaggeration and conflict4 ,such a man  
expiates his celebrity by a double      
bitterness2 he is never altogether true1
 and he is never able to recover the    
free disposal of himself4 ,to pick a    
quarrel with the world is attractive1   
but dangerous4  ,j4 ,j4 ,rousseau is an 
ancestor in all things4 ,it was he who  
founded traveling on foot before        
,tpffer1 reverie before 8,ren10 literary
 botany before ,george ,sand1 the       

worship of nature before ,bernardin de  
,s4 ,pierre1 the democratic theory      
before the ,revolution of #aghi1        
political discussion and theological    
discussion before ,mirabeau and ,renan1 
the science of teaching before          
,pestalozzi1 and ,alpine description    
before ,de ,saussure4 ,he made music the
 fashion1 and created the taste for     
confessions to the public4 ,he formed a 
new ,french style--the close1 chastened1
 passionate1 interwoven style we know so
 well4 ,nothing indeed of ,rousseau has 
been lost1 and nobody has had more      
influence than he upon the ,french      
,revolution1 for he was the demigod of  
it1 and stands between ,neckar and      
,napoleon4 ,nobody1 again1 has had more 
than he upon the nineteenth century1 for
 ,byron1 ,chteaubriand1 ,madame de      
,stal1 and ,george ,sand all descend    
from him4  ,and yet1 with these         
extraordinary talents1 he was an        
extremely unhappy man--why8 ,because he 
always allowed himself to be mastered by

 his imagination and his sensations2    
because he had no judgment in deciding1 
no self-control in acting4 ,regret      
indeed on this score would be hardly    
reasonable1 for a calm1 judicious1      
orderly ,rousseau would never have made 
so great an impression4 ,he came into   
collision with his time3 hence his      
eloquence and his misfortunes4 ,his nave
 confidence in life and himself ended in
 jealous misanthropy and hypochondria4  
,what a contrast to ,goethe or          
,voltaire1 and how differently they     
understood the practical wisdom of life 
and the management of literary gifts6   
,they were the able men--,rousseau is a 
visionary4 ,they knew mankind as it     
is--he always represented it to himself 
either whiter or blacker than it is2 and
 having begun by taking life the wrong  
way1 he ended in madness4 ,in the talent
 of ,rousseau there is always something 
unwholesome1 uncertain1 stormy1 and     
sophistical1 which destroys the         
confidence of the reader2 and the reason

 is no doubt that we feel passion to    
have been the governing force in him as 
a writer3 passion stirred his           
imagination1 and ruled supreme over his 
reason4         99       99       99    
99       99  ,our systems1 perhaps1 are 
nothing more than an unconscious apology
 for our faults--a gigantic scaffolding 
whose object is to hide from us our     
favorite sin4         99       99       
99       99       99  ,the unfinished is
 nothing4         99       99       99  
99       99  ,great men are the true    
men1 the men in whom nature has         
succeeded4 ,they are not                
extraordinary--they are in the true     
order4 ,it is the other species of men  
who are not what they ought to be4      
,january #g1 #ahff4--,our life is but a 
soap-bubble hanging from a reed2 it is  
formed1 expands to its full size1       
clothes itself with the loveliest colors
 of the prism1 and even escapes at      
moments from the law of gravitation2 but
 soon the black speck appears in it1 and

 the globe of emerald and gold vanishes 
into space1 leaving behind it nothing   
but a simple drop of turbid water4 ,all 
the poets have made this comparison1 it 
is so striking and so true4 ,to appear1 
to shine1 to disappear2 to be born1 to  
suffer1 and to die2 is it not the whole 
sum of life1 for a butterfly1 for a     
nation1 for a star8  ,time is but the   
measure of the difficulty of a          
conception4 ,pure thought has scarcely  
any need of time1 since it perceives the
 two ends of an idea almost at the same 
moment4 ,the thought of a planet can    
only be worked out by nature with labor 
and effort1 but supreme intelligence    
sums up the whole in an instant4 ,time  
is then the successive dispersion of    
being1 just as speech is the successive 
analysis of an intuition or of an act of
 will4 ,in itself it is relative and    
negative1 and disappears within the     
absolute being4 ,god is outside time    
because he thinks all thought at once2  
,nature is within time1 because she is  

only speech--the discursive unfolding of
 each thought contained within the      
infinite thought4 ,but nature exhausts  
herself in this impossible task1 for the
 analysis of the infinite is a          
contradiction4 ,with limitless duration1
 boundless space1 and number without    
end1 ,nature does at least what she can 
to translate into visible form the      
wealth of the creative formula4 ,by the 
vastness of the abysses into which she  
penetrates1 in the effort--the          
unsuccessful effort--to house and       
contain the eternal thought1 we may     
measure the greatness of the divine     
mind4 ,for as soon as this mind goes out
 of itself and seeks to explain itself1 
the effort at utterance heaps universe  
upon universe1 during myriads of        
centuries1 and still it is not          
expressed1 and the great harangue must  
go on for ever and ever4  ,the ,east    
prefers immobility as the form of the   
,infinite3 the ,west1 movement4 ,it is  
because the ,west is infected by the    

passion for details1 and sets proud     
store by individual worth4 ,like a child
 upon whom a hundred thousand francs    
have been bestowed1 he thinks she is    
multiplying her fortune by counting it  
out in pieces of twenty sous1 or five   
centimes4 ,her passion for progress is  
in great part the product of an         
infatuation1 which consists in          
forgetting the goal to be aimed at1 and 
absorbing herself in the pride and      
delight of each tiny step1 one after the
 other4 ,child that she is1 she is even 
capable of confounding change with      
improvement--beginning over again1 with 
growth in perfectness4  ,at the bottom  
of the modern man there is always a     
great thirst for self-forgetfulness1    
self-distraction2 he has a secret horror
 of all which makes him feel his own    
littleness2 the eternal1 the infinite1  
perfection1 therefore scare and terrify 
him4 ,he wishes to approve himself1 to  
admire and congratulate himself2 and    
therefore he turns away from all those  

problems and abysses which might recall 
to him his own nothingness4 ,this is    
what makes the real pettiness of so many
 of our great minds1 and accounts for   
the lack of personal dignity among      
us--civilized parrots that we are--as   
compared with the ,arab of the desert2  
or explains the growing frivolity of our
 masses1 more and more educated1 no     
doubt1 but also more and more           
superficial in all their conceptions of 
happiness4  ,here1 then1 is the service 
which ,christianity--the oriental       
element in our culture--renders to us   
,westerns4 ,it checks and               
counterbalances our natural tendency    
toward the passing1 the finite1 and the 
changeable1 by fixing the mind upon the 
contemplation of eternal things1 and by 
,platonizing our affections1 which      
otherwise would have too little outlook 
upon the ideal world4 ,christianity     
leads us back from dispersion to        
concentration1 from worldliness to      
self-recollection4 ,it restores to our  

souls1 fevered with a thousand sordid   
desires1 nobleness1 gravity1 and calm4  
,just as sleep is a bath of refreshing  
for our actual life1 so religion is a   
bath of refreshing for our immortal     
being4 ,what is sacred has a purifying  
virtue2 religious emotion crowns the    
brow with an aureole1 and thrills the   
heart with an ineffable joy4  ,i think  
that the adversaries of religion as such
 deceive themselves as to the needs of  
the western man1 and that the modern    
world will lose its balance as soon as  
it has passed over altogether to the    
crude doctrine of progress4 ,we have    
always need of the infinite1 the        
eternal1 the absolute2 and since science
 contents itself with what is relative1 
it necessarily leaves a void1 which it  
is good for man to fill with            
contemplation1 worship1 and adoration4  
8,religion10 said ,bacon1 8is the spice 
which is meant to keep life from        
corruption10 and this is especially true
 to-day of religion taken in the        

,platonist and oriental sense4 ,a       
capacity for self-recollection--for     
withdrawal from the outward to the      
inward--is in fact the condition of all 
noble and useful activity4  ,this       
return1 indeed1 to what is serious1     
divine1 and sacred1 is becoming more and
 more difficult1 because of the growth  
of critical anxiety within the church   
itself1 the increasing worldliness of   
religious preaching1 and the universal  
agitation and disquiet of society4 ,but 
such a return is more and more          
necessary4 ,without it there is no inner
 life1 and the inner life is the only   
means whereby we may oppose a profitable
 resistance to circumstance4 ,if the    
sailor did not carry with him his own   
temperature he could not go from the    
pole to the equator1 and remain himself 
in spite of all4 ,the man who has no    
refuge in himself1 who lives1 so to     
speak1 in his front rooms1 in the outer 
whirlwind of things and opinions1 is not
 properly a personality at all2 he is   

not distinct1 free1 original1 a         
cause--in a word1 some one4 ,he is one  
of a crowd1 a taxpayer1 an elector1 an  
anonymity1 but not a man4 ,he helps to  
make up the mass--to fill up the number 
of human consumers or producers2 but he 
interests nobody but the economist and  
the statistician1 who take the heap of  
sand as a whole into consideration1     
without troubling themselves about the  
uninteresting uniformity of the         
individual grains4 ,the crowd counts    
only as a massive elementary force--why8
 because its constituent parts are      
individually insignificant3 they are all
 like each other1 and we add them up    
like the molecules of water in a river1 
gauging them by the fathom instead of   
appreciating them as individuals4 ,such 
men are reckoned and weighed merely as  
so many bodies3 they have never been    
individualized by conscience1 after the 
manner of souls4  ,he who floats with   
the current1 who does not guide himself 
according to higher principles1 who has 

no ideal1 no convictions--such a man is 
a mere article of the world's           
furniture--a thing moved1 instead of a  
living and moving being--an echo1 not a 
voice4 ,the man who has no inner life is
 the slave of his surroundings1 as the  
barometer is the obedient servant of the
 air at rest1 and the weathercock the   
humble servant of the air in motion4    
,january #ba1 #ahff4--,this evening     
after supper ,i did not know whither to 
betake my solitary self4 ,i was hungry  
for conversation1 society1 exchange of  
ideas4 ,it occurred to me to go and see 
our friends1 the----s2 they were at     
supper4 ,afterward we went into the     
salon3 mother and daughter sat down to  
the piano and sang a duet by ,boeldieu4 
,the ivory keys of the old grand piano1 
which the mother had played on before   
her marriage1 and which has followed and
 translated into music the varying      
fortunes of the family1 were a little   
loose and jingling2 but the poetry of   
the past sang in this faithful old      

servant1 which had been a friend in     
trouble1 a companion in vigils1 and the 
echo of a lifetime of duty1 affection1  
piety and virtue4 ,i was more moved than
 ,i can say4 ,it was like a scene of    
,dickens1 and ,i felt a rush of         
sympathy1 untouched either by egotism or
 by melancholy4  ,twenty-five years6 ,it
 seems to me a dream as far as ,i am    
concerned1 and ,i can scarcely believe  
my eyes1 or this inanimate witness to so
 many lustres passed away4 ,how strange 
a thing to have lived1 and to feel      
myself so far from a past which yet is  
so present to me6 ,one does not know    
whether one is sleeping or waking4 ,time
 is but the space between our memories2 
as soon as we cease to perceive this    
space1 time has disappeared4 ,the whole 
life of an old man may appear to him no 
longer than an hour1 or less still2 and 
as soon as time is but a moment to us1  
we have entered upon eternity4 ,life is 
but the dream of a shadow2 ,i felt it   
anew this evening with strange          

intensity4  ,january #bi1 #ahff4 7,nine 
o'clock in the morning74--,the gray     
curtain of mist has spread itself again 
over the town2 everything is dark and   
dull4 ,the bells are ringing in the     
distance for some festival2 with this   
exception everything is calm and silent4
 ,except for the crackling of the fire1 
no noise disturbs my solitude in this   
modest home1 the shelter of my thoughts 
and of my work1 where the man of middle 
age carries on the life of his          
student-youth without the zest of youth1
 and the sedentary professor repeats day
 by day the habits which he formed as a 
traveler4  ,what is it which makes the  
charm of this existence outwardly so    
barren and empty8 ,liberty6 ,what does  
the absence of comfort and of all else  
that is wanting to these rooms matter to
 me8 ,these things are indifferent to   
me4 ,i find under this roof light1      
quiet1 shelter4 ,i am near to a sister  
and her children1 whom ,i love2 my      
material life is assured--that ought to 

be enough for a bachelor4444 ,am ,i not1
 besides1 a creature of habit8 more     
attached to the ennuis ,i know1 than in 
love with pleasures unknown to me4 ,i   
am1 then1 free and not unhappy4 ,then ,i
 am well off here1 and ,i should be     
ungrateful to complain4 ,nor do ,i4 ,it 
is only the heart which sighs and seeks 
for something more and better4 ,the     
heart is an insatiable glutton1 as we   
all know--and for the rest1 who is      
without yearnings8 ,it is our destiny   
here below4 ,only some go through       
torments and troubles in order to       
satisfy themselves1 and all without     
success2 others foresee the inevitable  
result1 and by a timely resignation save
 themselves a barren and fruitless      
effort4 ,since we cannot be happy1 why  
give ourselves so much trouble8 ,it is  
best to limit one's self to what is     
strictly necessary1 to live austerely   
and by rule1 to content one's self with 
a little1 and to attach no value to     
anything but peace of conscience and a  

sense of duty done4  ,it is true that   
this itself is no small ambition1 and   
that it only lands us in another        
impossibility4 ,no--the simplest course 
is to submit one's self wholly and      
altogether to ,god4 ,everything else1 as
 saith the preacher1 is but vanity and  
vexation of spirit4  ,it is a long while
 now since this has been plain to me1   
and since this religious renunciation   
has been sweet and familiar to me4 ,it  
is the outward distractions of life1 the
 examples of the world1 and the         
irresistible influence exerted upon us  
by the current of things which make us  
forget the wisdom we have acquired and  
the principles we have adopted4 ,that is
 why life is such weariness6 ,this      
eternal beginning over again is tedious1
 even to repulsion4 ,it would be so good
 to go to sleep when we have gathered   
the fruit of experience1 when we are no 
longer in opposition to the supreme     
will1 when we have broken loose from    
self1 when we are at peace with all men4

 ,instead of this1 the old round of     
temptations1 disputes1 ennuis1 and      
forgettings1 has to be faced again and  
again1 and we fall back into prose1 into
 commonness1 into vulgarity4 ,how       
melancholy1 how humiliating6 ,the poets 
are wise in withdrawing their heroes    
more quickly from the strife1 and in not
 dragging them after victory along the  
common rut of barren days4 8,whom the   
gods love die young10 said the proverb  
of antiquity4  ,yes1 but it is our      
secret self-love which is set upon this 
favor from on high2 such may be our     
desire1 but such is not the will of     
,god4 ,we are to be exercised1 humbled1 
tried1 and tormented to the end4 ,it is 
our patience which is the touchstone of 
our virtue4 ,to bear with life even when
 illusion and hope are gone2 to accept  
this position of perpetual war1 while at
 the same time loving only peace2 to    
stay patiently in the world1 even when  
it repels us as a place of low company1 
and seems to us a mere arena of bad     

passions2 to remain faithful to one's   
own faith without breaking with the     
followers of the false gods2 to make no 
attempt to escape from the human        
hospital1 long-suffering and patient as 
,job upon his dung hill--this is duty4  
,when life ceases to be a promise it    
does not cease to be a task2 its true   
name even is trial4  ,april #b1 #ahff4  
7,mornex74--,the snow is melting and a  
damp fog is spread over everything4 ,the
 asphalt gallery which runs along the   
salon is a sheet of quivering water     
starred incessantly by the hurrying     
drops falling from the sky4 ,it seems as
 if one could touch the horizon with    
one's hand1 and the miles of country    
which were yesterday visible are all    
hidden under a thick gray curtain4      
,this imprisonment transports me to     
,shetland1 to ,spitzbergen1 to ,norway1 
to the ,ossianic countries of mist1     
where man1 thrown back upon himself1    
feels his heart beat more quickly and   
his thought expand more freely--so long1

 at least1 as he is not frozen and      
congealed by cold4 ,fog has certainly a 
poetry of its own--a grace1 a dreamy    
charm4 ,it does for the daylight what a 
lamp does for us at night2 it turns the 
mind toward meditation2 it throws the   
soul back on itself4 ,the sun1 as it    
were1 sheds us abroad in nature1        
scatters and disperses us2 mist draws us
 together and concentrates us--it is    
cordial1 homely1 charged with feeling4  
,the poetry of the sun has something of 
the epic in it2 that of fog and mist is 
elegaic and religious4 ,pantheism is the
 child of light2 mist engenders faith in
 near protectors4 ,when the great world 
is shut off from us1 the house becomes  
itself a small universe4 ,shrouded in   
perpetual mist1 men love each other     
better2 for the only reality then is the
 family1 and1 within the family1 the    
heart2 and the greatest thoughts come   
from the heart--so says the moralist4   
,april #f1 #ahff4--,the novel by ,miss  
,mulock1 8,john ,halifax1 ,gentleman10  

is a bolder book than it seems1 for it  
attacks in the ,english way the social  
problem of equality4 ,and the solution  
reached is that every one may become a  
gentleman1 even though he may be born in
 the gutter4 ,in its way the story      
protests against conventional           
superiorities1 and shows that true      
nobility consists in character1 in      
personal merit1 in moral distinction1 in
 elevation of feeling and of language1  
in dignity of life1 and in self-respect4
 ,this is better than ,jacobinism1 and  
the opposite of the mere brutal passion 
for equality4 ,instead of dragging      
everybody down1 the author simply       
proclaims the right of every one to     
rise4 ,a man may be born rich and       
noble--he is not born a gentleman4 ,this
 word is the ,shibboleth of ,england2 it
 divides her into two halves1 and       
civilized society into two castes4      
,among gentlemen--courtesy1 equality1   
and politeness2 toward those            
below--contempt1 disdain1 coldness and  

indifference4 ,it is the old separation 
between the ingenui and all others2     
between the ,greek3 eleutheroi and the  
,greek3 banauphoi1 the continuation of  
the feudal division between the gentry  
and the roturiers4  ,what1 then1 is a   
gentleman8 ,apparently he is the free   
man1 the man who is stronger than       
things1 and believes in personality as  
superior to all the accessory attributes
 of fortune1 such as rank and power1 and
 as constituting what is essential1     
real1 and intrinsically valuable in the 
individual4 ,tell me what you are1 and  
,i will tell you what you are worth4    
8,god and my ,right20 there is the only 
motto he believes in4 ,such an ideal is 
happily opposed to that vulgar ideal    
which is equally ,english1 the ideal of 
wealth1 with its formula1 8,how much is 
he worth80 ,in a country where poverty  
is a crime1 it is good to be able to say
 that a nabob need not as such be a     
gentleman4 ,the mercantile ideal and the
 chivalrous ideal counterbalance each   

other2 and if the one produces the      
ugliness of ,english society and its    
brutal side1 the other serves as a      
compensation4  ,the gentleman1 then1 is 
the man who is master of himself1 who   
respects himself1 and makes others      
respect him4 ,the essence of            
gentlemanliness is self-rule1 the       
sovereignty of the soul4 ,it means a    
character which possesses itself1 a     
force which governs itself1 a liberty   
which affirms and regulates itself1     
according to the type of true dignity4  
,such an ideal is closely akin to the   
,roman type of dignitas cum auctoritate4
 ,it is more moral than intellectual1   
and is particularly suited to ,england1 
which is pre-eminently the country of   
will4 ,but from self-respect a thousand 
other things are derived--such as the   
care of a man's person1 of his language1
 of his manners2 watchfulness over his  
body and over his soul2 dominion over   
his instincts and his passions2 the     
effort to be self-sufficient2 the pride 

which will accept no favor2 carefulness 
not to expose himself to any humiliation
 or mortification1 and to maintain      
himself independent of any human        
caprice2 the constant protection of his 
honor and of his self-respect4 ,such a  
condition of sovereignty1 insomuch as it
 is only easy to the man who is         
well-born1 well-bred1 and rich1 was     
naturally long identified with birth1   
rank1 and above all with property4 ,the 
idea 8gentleman0 is1 then1 derived from 
feudality2 it is1 as it were1 a milder  
version of the seigneur4  ,in order to  
lay himself open to no reproach1 a      
gentleman will keep himself             
irreproachable2 in order to be treated  
with consideration1 he will always be   
careful himself to observe distances1 to
 apportion respect1 and to observe all  
the gradations of conventional          
politeness1 according to rank1 age1 and 
situation4 ,hence it follows that he    
will be imperturbably cautious in the   
presence of a stranger1 whose name and  

worth are unknown to him1 and to whom he
 might perhaps show too much or too     
little courtesy4 ,he ignores and avoids 
him2 if he is approached1 he turns away1
 if he is addressed1 he answers shortly 
and with hauteur4 ,his politeness is not
 human and general1 but individual and  
relative to persons4 ,this is why every 
,englishman contains two different      
men--one turned toward the world1 and   
another4 ,the first1 the outer man1 is a
 citadel1 a cold and angular wall2 the  
other1 the inner man1 is a sensible1    
affectionate1 cordial1 and loving       
creature4 ,such a type is only formed in
 a moral climate full of icicles1 where1
 in the face of an indifferent world1   
the hearth alone is hospitable4  ,so    
that an analysis of the national type of
 gentlemen reveals to us the nature and 
the history of the nation1 as the fruit 
reveals the tree4  ,april #g1           
#ahff4--;,if philosophy is the art of   
understanding1 it is evident that it    
must begin by saturating itself with    

facts and realities1 and that premature 
abstraction kills it1 just as the abuse 
of fasting destroys the body at the age 
of growth4 ,besides1 we only understand 
that which is already within us4 ,to    
understand is to possess the thing      
understood1 first by sympathy and then  
by intelligence4 ,instead1 then1 of     
first dismembering and dissecting the   
object to be conceived1 we should begin 
by laying hold of it in its ensemble1   
then in its formation1 last of all in   
its parts4 ,the procedure is the same1  
whether we study a watch or a plant1 a  
work of art or a character4 ,we must    
study1 respect1 and question what we    
want to know1 instead of massacring it4 
,we must assimilate ourselves to things 
and surrender ourselves to them2 we must
 open our minds with docility to their  
influence1 and steep ourselves in their 
spirit and their distinctive form1      
before we offer violence to them by     
dissecting them4  ,april #ad1           
#ahff4--,panic1 confusion1 sauve qui    

peut on the ,bourse at ,paris4 ,in our  
epoch of individualism1 and of 8each man
 for himself and ,god for all10 the     
movements of the public funds are all   
that now represent to us the beat of the
 common heart4 ,the solidarity of       
interests which they imply              
counterbalances the separateness of     
modern affections1 and the obligatory   
sympathy they impose upon us recalls to 
one a little the patriotism which bore  
the forced taxes of old days4 ,we feel  
ourselves bound up with and compromised 
in all the world's affairs1 and we must 
interest ourselves whether we will or no
 in the terrible machine whose wheels   
may crush us at any moment4 ,credit     
produces a restless society1 trembling  
perpetually for the security of its     
artificial basis4 ,sometimes society may
 forget for awhile that it is dancing   
upon a volcano1 but the least rumor of  
war recalls the fact to it inexorably4  
,card-houses are easily ruined4  ,all   
this anxiety is intolerable to those    

humble little investors who1 having no  
wish to be rich1 ask only to be able to 
go about their work in peace4 ,but no2  
tyrant that it is1 the world cries to   
us1 8,peace1 peace--there is no peace3  
whether you will or no you shall suffer 
and tremble with me60 ,to accept        
humanity1 as one does nature1 and to    
resign one's self to the will of an     
individual1 as one does to destiny1 is  
not easy4 ,we bow to the government of  
,god1 but we turn against the despot4   
,no man likes to share in the shipwreck 
of a vessel in which he has been        
embarked by violence1 and which has been
 steered contrary to his wish and his   
opinion4 ,and yet such is perpetually   
the case in life4 ,we all of us pay for 
the faults of the few4  ,human          
solidarity is a fact more evident and   
more certain than personal              
responsibility1 and even than individual
 liberty4 ,our dependence has it over   
our independence2 for we are only       
independent in will and desire1 while we

 are dependent upon our health1 upon    
nature and society2 in short1 upon      
everything in us and without us4 ,our   
liberty is confined to one single point4
 ,we may protest against all these      
oppressive and fatal powers2 we may say1
 ,crush me--you will never win my       
consent6 ,we may1 by an exercise of     
will1 throw ourselves into opposition to
 necessity1 and refuse it homage and    
obedience4 ,in that consists our moral  
liberty4 ,but except for that1 we       
belong1 body and goods1 to the world4   
,we are its playthings1 as the dust is  
the plaything of the wind1 or the dead  
leaf of the floods4 ,god at least       
respects our dignity1 but the world     
rolls us contemptuously along in its    
merciless waves1 in order to make it    
plain that we are its thing and its     
chattel4  ,all theories of the nullity  
of the individual1 all pantheistic and  
materialist conceptions1 are now but so 
much forcing of an open door1 so much   
slaying of the slain4 ,as soon as we    

cease to glorify this imperceptible     
point of conscience1 and to uphold the  
value of it1 the individual becomes     
naturally a mere atom in the human mass1
 which is but an atom in the planetary  
mass1 which is a mere nothing in the    
universe4 ,the individual is then but a 
nothing of the third power1 with a      
capacity for measuring its nothingness6 
,thought leads to resignation4          
,self-doubt leads to passivity1 and     
passivity to servitude4 ,from this a    
voluntary submission is the only escape1
 that is to say1 a state of dependence  
religiously accepted1 a vindication of  
ourselves as free beings1 bowed before  
duty only4 ,duty thus becomes our       
principle of action1 our source of      
energy1 the guarantee of our partial    
independence of the world1 the condition
 of our dignity1 the sign of our        
nobility4 ,the world can neither make me
 will nor make me will my duty2 here ,i 
am my own and only master1 and treat    
with it as sovereign with sovereign4 ,it

 holds my body in its clutches2 but my  
soul escapes and braves it4 ,my thought 
and my love1 my faith and my hope1 are  
beyond its reach4 ,my true being1 the   
essence of my nature1 myself1 remain    
inviolate and inaccessible to the       
world's attacks4 ,in this respect we are
 greater than the universe1 which has   
mass and not will2 we become once more  
independent even in relation to the     
human mass1 which also can destroy      
nothing more than our happiness1 just as
 the mass of the universe can destroy   
nothing more than our body4 ,submission1
 then1 is not defeat2 on the contrary1  
it is strength4  ,april #bh1 #ahff4--;,i
 have just read the procs-verbal of the 
,conference of ,pastors held on the     
#aeth and #afth of ,april at ,paris4    
,the question of the supernatural has   
split the church of ,france in two4 ,the
 liberals insist upon individual right2 
the orthodox upon the notion of a       
church4 ,and it is true indeed that a   
church is an affirmation1 that it       

subsists by the positive element in it1 
by definite belief2 the pure critical   
element dissolves it4 ,protestantism is 
a combination of two factors--the       
authority of the ,scriptures and free   
inquiry2 as soon as one of these factors
 is threatened or disappears1           
,protestantism disappears2 a new form of
 ,christianity succeeds it1 as1 for     
example1 the church of the ,brothers of 
the ,holy ,ghost1 or that of ,christian 
,theism4 ,as far as ,i am concerned1 ,i 
see nothing objectionable in such a     
result1 but ,i think the friends of the 
,protestant church are logical in their 
refusal to abandon the apostle's creed1 
and the individualists are illogical in 
imagining that they can keep            
,protestantism and do away with         
authority4  ,it is a question of method 
which separates the two camps4 ,i am    
fundamentally separated from both4 ,as  
,i understand it1 ,christianity is above
 all religions1 and religion is not a   
method1 it is a life1 a higher and      

supernatural life1 mystical in its root 
and practical in its fruits1 a communion
 with ,god1 a calm and deep enthusiasm1 
a love which radiates1 a force which    
acts1 a happiness which overflows4      
,religion1 in short1 is a state of the  
soul4 ,these quarrels as to method have 
their value1 but it is a secondary      
value2 they will never console a heart  
or edify a conscience4 ,this is why ,i  
feel so little interest in these        
ecclesiastical struggles4 ,whether the  
one party or the other gain the majority
 and the victory1 what is essential is  
in no way profited1 for dogma1          
criticism1 the church1 are not religion2
 and it is religion1 the sense of a     
divine life1 which matters4 8,seek ye   
first the kingdom of ,god and his       
righteousness1 and all these things     
shall be added unto you40  ,the most    
holy is the most ,christian2 this will  
always be the criterion which is least  
deceptive4 8,by this ye shall know my   
disciples1 if they have love one to     

another40  ,as is the worth of the      
individual1 so is the worth of his      
religion4 ,popular instinct and         
philosophic reason are at one on this   
point4 ,be good and pious1 patient and  
heroic1 faithful and devoted1 humble and
 charitable2 the catechism which has    
taught you these things is beyond the   
reach of blame4 ,by religion we live in 
,god2 but all these quarrels lead to    
nothing but life with men or with       
cassocks4 ,there is therefore no        
equivalence between the two points of   
view4  ,perfection as an end--a noble   
example for sustenance on the way--the  
divine proved by its own excellence1 is 
not this the whole of ,christianity8    
,god manifest in all men1 is not this   
its true goal and consummation8         
,september #bj1 #ahff4--,my old friends 
are1 ,i am afraid1 disappointed in me2  
they think that ,i do nothing1 that ,i  
have deceived their expectations and    
their hopes4 ,i1 too1 am disappointed4  
,all that would restore my self-respect 

and give me a right to be proud of      
myself1 seems to me unattainable and    
impossible1 and ,i fall back upon       
trivialities1 gay talk1 distractions4 ,i
 am always equally lacking in hope1 in  
faith1 in resolution4 ,the only         
difference is that my weakness takes    
sometimes the form of despairing        
melancholy and sometimes that of a      
cheerful quietism4 ,and yet ,i read1 ,i 
talk1 ,i teach1 ,i write1 but to no     
effect2 it is as though ,i were walking 
in my sleep4 ,the ,buddhist tendency in 
me blunts the faculty of free           
self-government and weakens the power of
 action2 self-distrust kills all desire1
 and reduces me again and again to a    
fundamental skepticism4 ,i care for     
nothing but the serious and the real1   
and ,i can take neither myself nor my   
circumstances seriously4 ,i hold my own 
personality1 my own aptitudes1 my own   
aspirations1 too cheap4 ,i am forever   
making light of myself in the name of   
all that is beautiful and admirable4 ,in

 a word1 ,i bear within me a perpetual  
self-detractor1 and this is what takes  
all spring out of my life4 ,i have been 
passing the evening with ,charles ,heim1
 who1 in his sincerity1 has never paid  
me any literary compliment4 ,as ,i love 
and respect him1 he is forgiven4        
,self-love has nothing to do with       
it--and yet it would be sweet to be     
praised by so upright a friend6 ,it is  
depressing to feel one's self silently  
disapproved of2 ,i will try to satisfy  
him1 and to think of a book which may   
please both him and ,scherer4  ,october 
#f1 #ahff4--;,i have just picked up on  
the stairs a little yellowish cat1 ugly 
and pitiable4 ,now1 curled up in a chair
 at my side1 he seems perfectly happy1  
and as if he wanted nothing more4 ,far  
from being wild1 nothing will induce him
 to leave me1 and he has followed me    
from room to room all day4 ,i have      
nothing at all that is eatable in the   
house1 but what ,i have ,i give         
him--that is to say1 a look and a       

caress--and that seems to be enough for 
him1 at least for the moment4 ,small    
animals1 small children1 young          
lives--they are all the same as far as  
the need of protection and of gentleness
 is concerned4444 ,people have sometimes
 said to me that weak and feeble        
creatures are happy with me4 ,perhaps   
such a fact has to do with some special 
gift or beneficent force which flows    
from one when one is in the sympathetic 
state4 ,i have often a direct perception
 of such a force2 but ,i am no ways     
proud of it1 nor do ,i look upon it as  
anything belonging to me1 but simply as 
a natural gift4 ,it seems to me         
sometimes as though ,i could woo the    
birds to build in my beard as they do in
 the headgear of some cathedral saint6  
,after all1 this is the natural state   
and the true relation of man toward all 
inferior creatures4 ,if man was what he 
ought to be he would be adored by the   
animals1 of whom he is too often the    
capricious and sanguinary tyrant4 ,the  

legend of ,saint ,francis of ,assisi is 
not so legendary as we think2 and it is 
not so certain that it was the wild     
beasts who attacked man first4444 ,but  
to exaggerate nothing1 let us leave on  
one side the beasts of prey1 the        
carnivora1 and those that live by rapine
 and slaughter4 ,how many other species 
are there1 by thousands and tens of     
thousands1 who ask peace from us and    
with whom we persist in waging a brutal 
war8 ,our race is by far the most       
destructive1 the most hurtful1 and the  
most formidable1 of all the species of  
the planet4 ,it has even invented for   
its own use the right of the            
strongest--a divine right which quiets  
its conscience in the face of the       
conquered and the oppressed2 we have    
outlawed all that lives except          
ourselves4 ,revolting and manifest      
abuse2 notorious and contemptible breach
 of the law of justice6 ,the bad faith  
and hypocrisy of it are renewed on a    
small scale by all successful usurpers4 

,we are always making ,god our          
accomplice1 that so we may legalize our 
own iniquities4 ,every successful       
massacre is consecrated by a ,te ,deum1 
and the clergy have never been wanting  
in benedictions for any victorious      
enormity4 ,so that what1 in the         
beginning1 was the relation of man to   
the animal becomes that of people to    
people and man to man4  ,if so1 we have 
before us an expiation too seldom       
noticed but altogether just4 ,all crime 
must be expiated1 and slavery is the    
repetition among men of the sufferings  
brutally imposed by man upon other      
living beings2 it is the theory bearing 
its fruits4 ,the right of man over the  
animal seems to me to cease with the    
need of defense and of subsistence4 ,so 
that all unnecessary murder and torture 
are cowardice and even crime4 ,the      
animal renders a service of utility2 man
 in return owes it a need of protection 
and of kindness4 ,in a word1 the animal 
has claims on man1 and the man has      

duties to the animal4 ,buddhism1 no     
doubt1 exaggerates this truth1 but the  
,westerns leave it out of count         
altogether4 ,a day will come1 however1  
when our standard will be higher1 our   
humanity more exacting1 than it is      
to-day4 ,homo homini lupus1 said        
,hobbes3 the time will come when man    
will be humane even for the wolf--homo  
lupo homo4  ,december #cj1              
#ahff4--,skepticism pure and simple as  
the only safeguard of intellectual      
independence--such is the point of view 
of almost all our young men of talent4  
,absolute freedom from credulity seems  
to them the glory of man4 ,my impression
 has always been that this excessive    
detachment of the individual from all   
received prejudices and opinions in     
reality does the work of tyranny4 ,this 
evening1 in listening to the            
conversation of some of our most        
cultivated men1 ,i thought of the       
,renaissance1 of the ,ptolemies1 of the 
reign of ,louis ,,xv41 of all those     

times in which the exultant anarchy of  
the intellect has had despotic          
government for its correlative1 and1 on 
the other hand1 of ,england1 of         
,holland1 of the ,united ,states1       
countries in which political liberty is 
bought at the price of necessary        
prejudices and  priori opinions4  ,that 
society may hold together at all1 we    
must have a principle of cohesion--that 
is to say1 a common belief1 principles  
recognized and undisputed1 a series of  
practical axioms and institutions which 
are not at the mercy of every caprice of
 public opinion4 ,by treating everything
 as if it were an open question1 we     
endanger everything4  ,doubt is the     
accomplice of tyranny4 8,if a people    
will not believe it must obey10 said    
,tocqueville4 ,all liberty implies      
dependence1 and has its conditions2 this
 is what negative and quarrelsome minds 
are apt to forget4 ,they think they can 
do away with religion2 they do not know 
that religion is indestructible1 and    

that the question is simply1 ,which will
 you have8 ,voltaire plays the game of  
,loyola1 and vice vers4 ,between these  
two there is no peace1 nor can there be 
any for the society which has once      
thrown itself into the dilemma4 ,the    
only solution lies in a free religion1 a
 religion of free choice and free       
adhesion4  ,december #bc1 #ahff4--;,it  
is raining over the whole sky--as far at
 least as ,i can see from my high point 
of observation4 ,all is gray from the   
,salve to the ,jura1 and from the       
pavement to the clouds2 everything that 
one sees or touches is gray2 color1     
life1 and gayety are dead--each living  
thing seems to lie hidden in its own    
particular shell4 ,what are the birds   
doing in such weather as this8 ,we who  
have food and shelter1 fire on the      
hearth1 books around us1 portfolios of  
engravings close at hand1 a nestful of  
dreams in the heart1 and a whirlwind of 
thoughts ready to rise from the         
ink-bottle--we find nature ugly and     

triste1 and turn away our eyes from it2 
but you1 poor sparrows1 what can you be 
doing8 ,bearing and hoping and waiting8 
,after all1 is not this the task of each
 one of us8  ,i have just been reading  
over a volume of this ,journal1 and feel
 a little ashamed of the languid        
complaining tone of so much of it4      
,these pages reproduce me very          
imperfectly1 and there are many things  
in me of which ,i find no trace in them4
 ,i suppose it is because1 in the first 
place1 sadness takes up the pen more    
readily than joy2 and in the next1      
because ,i depend so much upon          
surrounding circumstances4 ,when there  
is no call upon me1 and nothing to put  
me to the test1 ,i fall back into       
melancholy2 and so the practical man1   
the cheerful man1 the literary man1 does
 not appear in these pages4 ,the        
portrait is lacking in proportion and   
breadth2 it is one-sided1 and wants a   
center2 it has1 as it were1 been painted
 from too near4  ,the true reason why we

 know ourselves so little lies in the   
difficulty we find in standing at a     
proper distance from ourselves1 in      
taking up the right point of view1 so   
that the details may help rather than   
hide the general effect4 ,we must learn 
to look at ourselves socially and       
historically if we wish to have an exact
 idea of our relative worth1 and to look
 at our life as a whole1 or at least as 
one complete period of life1 if we wish 
to know what we are and what we are not4
 ,the ant which crawls to and fro over a
 face1 the fly perched upon the forehead
 of a maiden1 touch them indeed1 but do 
not see them1 for they never embrace the
 whole at a glance4  ,is it wonderful   
that misunderstandings should play so   
great a part in the world1 when one sees
 how difficult it is to produce a       
faithful portrait of a person whom one  
has been studying for more than twenty  
years8 ,still1 the effort has not been  
altogether lost2 its reward has been the
 sharpening of one's perceptions of the 

outer world4 ,if ,i have any special    
power of appreciating different shades  
of mind1 ,i owe it no doubt to the      
analysis ,i have so perpetually and     
unsuccessfully practiced on myself4 ,in 
fact1 ,i have always regarded myself as 
matter for study1 and what has          
interested me most in myself has been   
the pleasure of having under my hand a  
man1 a person1 in whom1 as an authentic 
specimen of human nature1 ,i could      
follow1 without importunity or          
indiscretion1 all the metamorphoses1 the
 secret thoughts1 the heart-beats1 and  
the temptations of humanity4 ,my        
attention has been drawn to myself      
impersonally and philosophically4 ,one  
uses what one has1 and one must shape   
one's arrow out of one's own wood4  ,to 
arrive at a faithful portrait1          
succession must be converted into       
simultaneousness1 plurality into unity1 
and all the changing phenomena must be  
traced back to their essence4 ,there are
 ten men in me1 according to time1      

place1 surrounding1 and occasion2 and in
 their restless diversity ,i am forever 
escaping myself4 ,therefore1 whatever ,i
 may reveal of my past1 of my ,journal1 
or of myself1 is of no use to him who is
 without the poetic intuition1 and      
cannot recompose me as a whole1 with or 
in spite of the elements which ,i       
confide to him4  ,i feel myself a       
chameleon1 a kaleidoscope1 a ,proteus2  
changeable in every way1 open to every  
kind of polarization2 fluid1 virtual1   
and therefore latent--latent even in    
manifestation1 and absent even in       
presentation4 ,i am a spectator1 so to  
speak1 of the molecular whirlwind which 
men call individual life2 ,i am         
conscious of an incessant metamorphosis1
 an irresistible movement of existence1 
which is going on within me4 ,i am      
sensible of the flight1 the revival1 the
 modification1 of all the atoms of my   
being1 all the particles of my river1   
all the radiations of my special force4 
,this phenomenology of myself serves    

both as the magic lantern of my own     
destiny1 and as a window opened upon the
 mystery of the world4 ,i am1 or rather1
 my sensible consciousness is           
concentrated upon this ideal            
standing-point1 this invisible          
threshold1 as it were1 whence one hears 
the impetuous passage of time1 rushing  
and foaming as it flows out into the    
changeless ocean of eternity4 ,after all
 the bewildering distractions of life1  
after having drowned myself in a        
multiplicity of trifles and in the      
caprices of this fugitive existence1 yet
 without ever attaining to              
self-intoxication or self-delusion1 ,i  
come again upon the fathomless abyss1   
the silent and melancholy cavern where  
dwell 8,die ,mtter10  ,footnote3 8,die  
,mtter0--an allusion to a strange and   
enigmatical1 but very effective         
conception in 8,faust0 7,part ,,ii4 ,act
 ,i4 ,scene v47 ,die ,mtter are the     
prototypes1 the abstract forms1 the     
generative ideas1 of things4 8,sie sehn 

dich nicht1 denn ,schemen sehn sie nur40
 ,goethe borrowed the term from a       
passage of ,plutarch's1 but he has made 
the idea half ,platonic1 half legendary4
 ,amiel1 however1 seems rather to have  
in his mind ,faust's speech in ,scene   
vii4 than the speech of ,mephistopheles 
in ,scene v3    8,in eurem ,namen1      
,mtter1 die ihr thront   ,im            
,grnzenlosen1 ewig einsam wohnt1   ,und 
doch gesellig6 ,euer haupt umschweben   
,des ,lebens ,bilder1 regsam1 ohne      
,leben40  where sleeps that which       
neither lives nor dies1 that which has  
neither movement1 nor change1 nor       
extension1 nor form1 and which lasts    
when all else passes away4    8,dans    
l'ternel azur de l'insondable espace    
,s'enveloppe de paix notre globe agite3 
,homme1 enveloppe ainsi tes jours1 rve  
qui passe1   ,du calme firmament de ton 
ternit40  7,h4 ,p4 ,,amiel1 ,penseroso47
  ,geneva1 ,january #aa1 #ahfg4         
8,eheu fugaces1 ,postume1 ,postume1     
,labuntar anni44440  ,i hear the drops  

of my life falling distinctly one by one
 into the devouring abyss of eternity4  
,i feel my days flying before the       
pursuit of death4 ,all that remains to  
me of weeks1 or months1 or years1 in    
which ,i may drink in the light of the  
sun1 seems to me no more than a single  
night1 a summer night1 which scarcely   
counts1 because it will so soon be at an
 end4  ,death6 ,silence6 ,eternity6     
,what mysteries1 what names of terror to
 the being who longs for happiness1     
immortality1 perfection6 ,where shall ,i
 be to-morrow--in a little while--when  
the breath of life has forsaken me8     
,where will those be whom ,i love8      
,whither are we all going8 ,the eternal 
problems rise before us in their        
implacable solemnity4 ,mystery on all   
sides6 ,and faith the only star in this 
darkness and uncertainty6  ,no          
matter6--so long as the world is the    
work of eternal goodness1 and so long as
 conscience has not deceived us4 ,to    
give happiness and to do good1 there is 

our only law1 our anchor of salvation1  
our beacon light1 our reason for        
existing4 ,all religions may crumble    
away2 so long as this survives we have  
still an ideal1 and life is worth       
living4  ,nothing can lessen the dignity
 and value of humanity    ,was einmal   
war1 in allem ,glanz und ,schein1   ,es 
regt sich dort2 denn es will ewig sein4 
,und ihr vertheilt es1 allgewaltige     
,mchte1   ,zum ,zelt des ,tages1 zum    
,gewlb' der ,nchte4  so long as the     
religion of love1 of unselfishness and  
devotion endures2 and none can destroy  
the altars of this faith for us so long 
as we feel ourselves still capable of   
love4  ,april #ae1ahfg--7,seven ,a4     
,m474--,rain storms in the night--the   
weather is showing its ,april caprice4  
,from the window one sees a gray and    
melancholy sky1 and roofs glistering    
with rain4 ,the spring is at its work4  
,yes1 and the implacable flight of time 
is driving us toward the grave4         
,well--each has his turn6    8,allez1   

allez1  jeunes filles1   ,cueillir des  
bleuets dans les bls60  ,i am           
overpowered with melancholy1 languor1   
lassitude4 ,a longing for the last great
 sleep has taken possession of me1      
combated1 however1 by a thirst for      
sacrifice--sacrifice heroic and         
long-sustained4 ,are not both simply    
ways of escape from one's self8 8,sleep1
 or self-surrender1 that ,i may die to  
self60--such is the cry of the heart4   
,poor heart6  ,april #ag1               
#ahfg4--;,awake1 thou that sleepest1 and
 rise from the dead4  ,what needs       
perpetually refreshing and renewing in  
me is my store of courage4 ,by nature ,i
 am so easily disgusted with life1 ,i   
fall a prey so readily to despair and   
pessimism4  8,the happy man1 as this    
century is able to produce him10        
according to ,madame ----1 is a         
,weltmde1 one who keeps a brave face    
before the world1 and distracts himself 
as best he can from dwelling upon the   
thought which is hidden at his heart--a 

thought which has in it the sadness of  
death--the thought of the irreparable4  
,the outward peace of such a man is but 
despair well masked2 his gayety is the  
carelessness of a heart which has lost  
all its illusions1 and has learned to   
acquiesce in an indefinite putting off  
of happiness4 ,his wisdom is really     
acclimatization to sacrifice1 his       
gentleness should be taken to mean      
privation patiently borne rather than   
resignation4 ,in a word1 he submits to  
an existence in which he feels no joy1  
and he cannot hide from himself that all
 the alleviations with which it is      
strewn cannot satisfy the soul4 ,the    
thirst for the infinite is never        
appeased4 ,god is wanting4  ,to win true
 peace1 a man needs to feel himself     
directed1 pardoned1 and sustained by a  
supreme power1 to feel himself in the   
right road1 at the point where ,god     
would have him be--in order with ,god   
and the universe4 ,this faith gives     
strength and calm4 ,i have not got it4  

,all that is1 seems to me arbitrary and 
fortuitous4 ,it may as well not be1 as  
be4 ,nothing in my own circumstances    
seems to me providential4 ,all appears  
to me left to my own responsibility1 and
 it is this thought which disgusts me   
with the government of my own life4 ,i  
longed to give myself up wholly to some 
great love1 some noble end2 ,i would    
willingly have lived and died for the   
ideal--that is to say1 for a holy cause4
 ,but once the impossibility of this    
made clear to me1 ,i have never since   
taken a serious interest in anything1   
and have1 as it were1 but amused myself 
with a destiny of which ,i was no longer
 the dupe4  ,sybarite and dreamer1 will 
you go on like this to the end--forever 
tossed backward and forward between duty
 and happiness1 incapable of choice1 of 
action8 ,is not life the test of our    
moral force1 and all these inward       
waverings1 are they not temptations of  
the soul8  ,september #f1 #ahfg1        
,weissenstein4 ,footnote3 ,weissenstein 

is a high point in the ,jura1 above     
,soleure4 7,ten o'clock in the          
morning74--,a marvelous view of blinding
 and bewildering beauty4 ,above a milky 
sea of cloud1 flooded with morning      
light1 the rolling waves of which are   
beating up against the base of the      
wooded steeps of the ,weissenstein1 the 
vast circle of the ,alps soars to a     
sublime height4 ,the eastern side of the
 horizon is drowned in the splendors of 
the rising mists2 but from the ,tdi     
westward1 the whole chain floats pure   
and clear between the milky plain and   
the pale blue sky4 ,the giant assembly  
is sitting in council above the valleys 
and the lakes still submerged in vapor4 
,the ,clariden1 the ,spannrter1 the     
,titlis1 then the ,bernese colossi from 
the ,wetterhorn to the ,diablerets1 then
 the peaks of ,vaud1 ,valais1 and       
,fribourg1 and beyond these high chains 
the two kings of the ,alps1 ,mont       
,blanc1 of a pale pink1 and the bluish  
point of ,monte ,rosa1 peering out      

through a cleft in the ,doldenhorn--such
 is the composition of the great snowy  
amphitheatre4 ,the outline of the       
horizon takes all possible forms3       
needles1 ridges1 battlements1 pyramids1 
obelisks1 teeth1 fangs1 pincers1 horns1 
cupolas2 the mountain profile sinks1    
rises again1 twists and sharpens itself 
in a thousand ways1 but always so as to 
maintain an angular and serrated line4  
,only the inferior and secondary groups 
of mountains show any large curves or   
sweeping undulations of form4 ,the ,alps
 are more than an upheaval2 they are a  
tearing and gashing of the earth's      
surface4 ,their granite peaks bite into 
the sky instead of caressing it4 ,the   
,jura1 on the contrary1 spreads its     
broad back complacently under the blue  
dome of air4  ,eleven o'clock4--,the sea
 of vapor has risen and attacked the    
mountains1 which for a long time        
overlooked it like so many huge reefs4  
,for awhile it surged in vain over the  
lower slopes of the ,alps4 ,then rolling

 back upon itself1 it made a more       
successful onslaught upon the ,jura1 and
 now we are enveloped in its moving     
waves4 ,the milky sea has become one    
vast cloud1 which has swallowed up the  
plain and the mountains1 observatory and
 observer4 ,within this cloud one may   
hear the sheep-bells ringing1 and see   
the sunlight darting hither and thither4
 ,strange and fanciful sight6  ,the     
,hanoverian pianist has gone2 the family
 from ,colmar has gone2 a young girl and
 her brother have arrived4 ,the girl is 
very pretty1 and particularly dainty and
 elegant in all her ways2 she seems to  
touch things only with the tips of her  
fingers2 one compares her to an ermine1 
a gazelle4 ,but at the same time she has
 no interests1 does not know how to     
admire1 and thinks of herself more than 
of anything else4 ,this perhaps is a    
drawback inseparable from a beauty and a
 figure which attract all eyes4 ,she is1
 besides1 a townswoman to the core1 and 
feels herself out of place in this great

 nature1 which probably seems to her    
barbarous and ill-bred4 ,at any rate she
 does not let it interfere with her in  
any way1 and parades herself on the     
mountains with her little bonnet and her
 scarcely perceptible sunshade1 as      
though she were on the boulevard4 ,she  
belongs to that class of tourists so    
amusingly drawn by ,tpffer4 ,character3 
nave conceit4 ,country3 ,france4        
,standard of life3 fashion4 ,some       
cleverness but no sense of reality1 no  
understanding of nature1 no             
consciousness of the manifold           
diversities of the world and of the     
right of life to be what it is1 and to  
follow its own way and not ours4  ,this 
ridiculous element in her is connected  
with the same national prejudice which  
holds ,france to be the center point of 
the world1 and leads ,frenchmen to      
neglect geography and languages4 ,the   
ordinary ,french townsman is really     
deliciously stupid in spite of all his  
natural cleverness1 for he understands  

nothing but himself4 ,his pole1 his     
axis1 his center1 his all is ,paris--or 
even less--,parisian manners1 the taste 
of the day1 fashion4 ,thanks to this    
organized fetishism1 we have millions of
 copies of one single original pattern2 
a whole people moving together like     
bobbins in the same machine1 or the legs
 of a single corps d'arme4 ,the result  
is wonderful but wearisome2 wonderful in
 point of material strength1 wearisome  
psychologically4 ,a hundred thousand    
sheep are not more instructive than one 
sheep1 but they furnish a hundred       
thousand times more wool1 meat1 and     
manure4 ,this is all1 you may say1 that 
the shepherd--that is1 the              
master--requires4 ,very well1 but one   
can only maintain breeding-farms or     
monarchies on these principles4 ,for a  
republic you must have men3 it cannot   
get on without individualities4         
,noon4--,an exquisite effect4 ,a great  
herd of cattle are running across the   
meadows under my window1 which is just  

illuminated by a furtive ray of         
sunshine4 ,the picture has a ghostly    
suddenness and brilliancy2 it pierces   
the mists which close upon it1 like the 
slide of a magic lantern4  ,what a pity 
,i must leave this place now that       
everything is so bright6         99     
99       99       99       99  ,the calm
 sea says more to the thoughtful soul   
than the same sea in storm and tumult4  
,but we need the understanding of       
eternal things and the sentiment of the 
infinite to be able to feel this4 ,the  
divine state par excellence is that of  
silence and repose1 because all speech  
and all action are in themselves limited
 and fugitive4 ,napoleon with his arms  
crossed over his breast is more         
expressive than the furious ,hercules   
beating the air with his athlete's      
fists4 ,people of passionate temperament
 never understand this4 ,they are only  
sensitive to the energy of succession2  
they know nothing of the energy of      
condensation4 ,they can only be         

impressed by acts and effects1 by noise 
and effort4 ,they have no instinct of   
contemplation1 no sense of the pure     
cause1 the fixed source of all movement1
 the principle of all effects1 the      
center of all light1 which does not need
 to spend itself in order to be sure of 
its own wealth1 nor to throw itself into
 violent motion to be certain of its own
 power4 ,the art of passion is sure to  
please1 but it is not the highest art2  
it is true1 indeed1 that under the rule 
of democracy1 the serener and calmer    
forms of art become more and more       
difficult2 the turbulent herd no longer 
knows the gods4         99       99     
99       99       99  ,minds accustomed 
to analysis never allow objections more 
than a half-value1 because they         
appreciate the variable and relative    
elements which enter in4         99     
99       99       99       99  ,a       
well-governed mind learns in time to    
find pleasure in nothing but the true   
and the just4  ,january #aj1 #ahfh4     

7,eleven ,p4 ,m474--,we have had a      
philosophical meeting at the house of   
,edouard ,claparde4 ,footnote3 ,edouard 
,claparde1 a ,genevese naturalist1 born 
#ahcb1 died #ahga4 ,the question on the 
order of the day was the nature of      
sensation4 ,claparde pronounced for the 
absolute subjectivity of all            
experience--in other words1 for pure    
idealism--which is amusing1 from a      
naturalist4 ,according to him the ego   
alone exists1 and the universe is but a 
projection of the ego1 a phantasmagoria 
which we ourselves create without       
suspecting it1 believing all the time   
that we are lookers-on4 ,it is our      
nomenon which objectifies itself as     
phenomenon4 ,the ego1 according to him1 
is a radiating force which1 modified    
without knowing what it is that modifies
 it1 imagines it1 by virtue of the      
principle of causality--that is to say1 
produces the great illusion of the      
objective world in order so to explain  
itself4 ,our waking life1 therefore1 is 

but a more connected dream4 ,the self is
 an unknown which gives birth to an     
infinite number of unknowns1 by a       
fatality of its nature4 ,science is     
summed up in the consciousness that     
nothing exists but consciousness4 ,in   
other words1 the intelligent issues from
 the unintelligible in order to return  
to it1 or rather the ego explains itself
 by the hypothesis of the non-ego1 while
 in reality it is but a dream1 dreaming 
itself4 ,we might say with ,scarron3    
8,et je vis l'ombre d'un esprit   ,qui  
traait l'ombre d'um systme   ,avec      
l'ombre de l'ombre mme40  ,this         
abolition of nature by natural science  
is logical1 and it was1 in fact1        
,schelling's starting-point4 ,from the  
standpoint of physiology1 nature is but 
a necessary illusion1 a constitutional  
hallucination4 ,we only escape from this
 bewitchment by the moral activity of   
the ego1 which feels itself a cause and 
a free cause1 and which by its          
responsibility breaks the spell and     

issues from the enchanted circle of     
,maa4  ,maa6 ,is she indeed the true    
goddess8 ,hindoo wisdom long ago        
regarded the world as the dream of      
,brahma4 ,must we hold with ,fichte that
 it is the individual dream of each     
individual ego8 ,every fool would then  
be a cosmogonic poet producing the      
firework of the universe under the dome 
of the infinite4 ,but why then give     
ourselves such gratuitous trouble to    
learn8 ,in our dreams1 at least1        
nightmare excepted1 we endow ourselves  
with complete ubiquity1 liberty and     
omniscience4 ,are we then less ingenious
 and inventive awake than asleep8       
,january #be1 #ahfh4--;,it is when the  
outer man begins to decay that it       
becomes vitally important to us to      
believe in immortality1 and to feel with
 the apostle that the inner man is      
renewed from day to day4 ,but for those 
who doubt it and have no hope of it8    
,for them the remainder of life can only
 be the compulsory dismemberment of     

their small empire1 the gradual         
dismantling of their being by inexorable
 destiny4 ,how hard it is to bear--this 
long-drawn death1 of which the stages   
are melancholy and the end inevitable6  
,it is easy to see why it was that      
stoicism maintained the right of        
suicide4 ,what is my real faith8 ,has   
the universal1 or at any rate the very  
general and common doubt of science1    
invaded me in my turn8 ,i have defended 
the cause of the immortality of the soul
 against those who questioned it1 and   
yet when ,i have reduced them to        
silence1 ,i have scarcely known whether 
at bottom ,i was not after all on their 
side4 ,i try to do without hope2 but it 
is possible that ,i have no longer the  
strength for it1 and that1 like other   
men1 ,i must be sustained and consoled  
by a belief1 by the belief in pardon and
 immortality--that is to say1 by        
religious belief of the ,christian type4
 ,reason and thought grow tired1 like   
muscles and nerves4 ,they must have     

their sleep1 and this sleep is the      
relapse into the tradition of childhood1
 into the common hope4 ,it takes so much
 effort to maintain one's self in an    
exceptional point of view1 that one     
falls back into prejudice by pure       
exhaustion1 just as the man who stands  
indefinitely always ends by sinking to  
the ground and reassuming the horizontal
 position4  ,what is to become of us    
when everything leaves us--health1 joy1 
affections1 the freshness of sensation1 
memory1 capacity for work--when the sun 
seems to us to have lost its warmth1 and
 life is stripped of all its charm8     
,what is to become of us without hope8  
,must we either harden or forget8 ,there
 is but one answer--keep close to duty4 
,never mind the future1 if only you have
 peace of conscience1 if you feel       
yourself reconciled1 and in harmony with
 the order of things4 ,be what you ought
 to be2 the rest is ,god's affair4 ,it  
is for him to know what is best1 to take
 care of his own glory1 to ensure the   

happiness of what depends on him1       
whether by another life or by           
annihilation4 ,and supposing that there 
were no good and holy ,god1 nothing but 
universal being1 the law of the all1 an 
ideal without hypostasis or reality1    
duty would still be the key of the      
enigma1 the pole-star of a wandering    
humanity4    8,fais ce que dois1        
advienne que pourra40  ,january #bf1    
#ahfh4--;,blessed be childhood1 which   
brings down something of heaven into the
 midst of our rough earthliness4 ,these 
eighty thousand daily births1 of which  
statistics tell us1 represent as it were
 an effusion of innocence and freshness1
 struggling not only against the death  
of the race1 but against human          
corruption1 and the universal gangrene  
of sin4 ,all the good and wholesome     
feeling which is intertwined with       
childhood and the cradle is one of the  
secrets of the providential government  
of the world4 ,suppress this life-giving
 dew1 and human society would be        

scorched and devastated by selfish      
passion4 ,supposing that humanity had   
been composed of a thousand millions of 
immortal beings1 whose number could     
neither increase nor diminish1 where    
should we be1 and what should we be6 ,a 
thousand times more learned1 no doubt1  
but a thousand times more evil4 ,there  
would have been a vast accumulation of  
science1 but all the virtues engendered 
by suffering and devotion--that is to   
say1 by the family and society--would   
have no existence4 ,and for this there  
would be no compensation4  ,blessed be  
childhood for the good that it does1 and
 for the good which it brings about     
carelessly and unconsciously by simply  
making us love it and letting itself be 
loved4 ,what little of paradise we see  
still on earth is due to its presence   
among us4 ,without fatherhood1 without  
motherhood1 ,i think that love itself   
would not be enough to prevent men from 
devouring each other--men1 that is to   
say1 such as human passions have made   

them4 ,the angels have no need of birth 
and death as foundations for their life1
 because their life is heavenly4        
,february #af1 #ahfh4--;,i have been    
finishing ,about's 8,mainfroy 7,les     
,mariages de ,province740 ,what         
subtlety1 what cleverness1 what verve1  
what aplomb6 ,about is a master of      
epithet1 of quick1 light-winged satire4 
,for all his cavalier freedom of manner1
 his work is conceived at bottom in a   
spirit of the subtlest irony1 and his   
detachment of mind is so great that he  
is able to make sport of everything1 to 
mock at others and himself1 while all   
the time amusing himself extremely with 
his own ideas and inventions4 ,this is  
indeed the characteristic mark1 the     
common signature1 so to speak1 of esprit
 like his4  ,irrepressible mischief1    
indefatigable elasticity1 a power of    
luminous mockery1 delight in the        
perpetual discharge of innumerable      
arrows from an inexhaustible quiver1 the
 unquenchable laughter of some little   

earth-born demon1 perpetual gayety1 and 
a radiant force of epigram--there are   
all these in the true humorist4 ,stulti 
sunt innumerabiles1 said ,erasmus1 the  
patron of all these dainty mockers4     
,folly1 conceit1 foppery1 silliness1    
affectation1 hypocrisy1 attitudinizing  
and pedantry of all shades1 and in all  
forms1 everything that poses1 prances1  
bridles1 struts1 bedizens1 and plumes   
itself1 everything that takes itself    
seriously and tries to impose itself on 
mankind--all this is the natural prey of
 the satirist1 so many targets ready for
 his arrows1 so many victims offered to 
his attack4 ,and we all know how rich   
the world is in prey of this kind6 ,an  
alderman's feast of folly is served up  
to him in perpetuity2 the spectacle of  
society offers him an endless noce de   
,gamache4 ,footnote3 ,noce de           
,gamache--8repas trs                    
somptueux40--,littr4 ,the allusion1 of  
course1 is to ,don ,quixote1 ,part ,,ii4
 chap4 xx4--8,donde se cuentan las bodas

 de ,bamacho el rico1 con el suceso de  
,basilio el pobre40 ,with what glee he  
raids through his domains1 and what     
signs of destruction and massacre mark  
the path of the sportsman6 ,his hand is 
infallible like his glance4 ,the spirit 
of sarcasm lives and thrives in the     
midst of universal wreck2 its balls are 
enchanted and itself invulnerable1 and  
it braves retaliations and reprisals    
because itself is a mere flash1 a       
bodiless and magical nothing4  ,clever  
men will recognize and tolerate nothing 
but cleverness2 every authority rouses  
their ridicule1 every superstition      
amuses them1 every convention moves them
 to contradiction4 ,only force finds    
favor in their eyes1 and they have no   
toleration for anything that is not     
purely natural and spontaneous4 ,and yet
 ten clever men are not worth one man of
 talent1 nor ten men of talent worth one
 man of genius4 ,and in the individual1 
feeling is more than cleverness1 reason 
is worth as much as feeling1 and        

conscience has it over reason4 ,if1     
then1 the clever man is not mockable1 he
 may at least be neither loved1 nor     
considered1 nor esteemed4 ,he may make  
himself feared1 it is true1 and force   
others to respect his independence2 but 
this negative advantage1 which is the   
result of a negative superiority1 brings
 no happiness with it4 ,cleverness is   
serviceable for everything1 sufficient  
for nothing4  ,march #h1                
#ahfh4--,madame----kept me to have tea  
with three young friends of hers--three 
sisters1 ,i think4 ,the two youngest are
 extremely pretty1 the dark one as      
pretty as the blonde4 ,their fresh      
faces1 radiant with the bloom of youth1 
were a perpetual delight to the eye4    
,this electric force of beauty has a    
beneficent effect upon the man of       
letters2 it acts as a real restorative4 
,sensitive1 impressionable1 absorbent as
 ,i am1 the neighborhood of health1 of  
beauty1 of intelligence and of goodness1
 exercises a powerful influence upon my 

whole being2 and in the same way ,i am  
troubled and affected just as easily by 
the presence near me of troubled lives  
or diseased souls4 ,madame ---- said of 
me that ,i must be 8superlatively       
feminine0 in all my perceptions4 ,this  
ready sympathy and sensitiveness is the 
reason of it4 ,if ,i had but desired it 
ever so little1 ,i should have had the  
magical clairvoyance of the             
somnambulist1 and could have reproduced 
in myself a number of strange phenomena4
 ,i know it1 but ,i have always been on 
my guard against it1 whether from       
indifference or from prudence4 ,when ,i 
think of the intuitions of every kind   
which have come to me since my youth1 it
 seems to me that ,i have lived a       
multitude of lives4 ,every              
characteristic individuality shapes     
itself ideally in me1 or rather molds me
 for the moment into its own image2 and 
,i have only to turn my attention upon  
myself at such a time to be able to     
understand a new mode of being1 a new   

phase of human nature4 ,in this way ,i  
have been1 turn by turn1 mathematician1 
musician1 savant1 monk1 child1 or       
mother4 ,in these states of universal   
sympathy ,i have even seemed to myself  
sometimes to enter into the condition of
 the animal or the plant1 and even of an
 individual animal1 of a given plant4   
,this faculty of ascending and          
descending metamorphosis1 this power of 
simplifying or of adding to one's       
individuality1 has sometimes astounded  
my friends1 even the most subtle of     
them4 ,it has to do no doubt with the   
extreme facility which ,i have for      
impersonal and objective thought1 and   
this again accounts for the difficulty  
which ,i feel in realizing my own       
individuality1 in being simply one man  
having his proper number and ticket4 ,to
 withdraw within my own individual      
limits has always seemed to me a        
strange1 arbitrary1 and conventional    
process4 ,i seem to myself to be a mere 
conjuror's apparatus1 an instrument of  

vision and perception1 a person without 
personality1 a subject without any      
determined individuality--an instance1  
to speak technically1 of pure           
8determinability0 and 8formability10 and
 therefore ,i can only resign myself    
with difficulty to play the purely      
arbitrary part of a private citizen1    
inscribed upon the roll of a particular 
town or a particular country4 ,in action
 ,i feel myself out of place2 my true   
milieu is contemplation4 ,pure          
virtuality and perfect equilibrium--in  
these ,i am most at home4 ,there ,i feel
 myself free1 disinterested1 and        
sovereign4 ,is it a call or a           
temptation8  ,it represents perhaps the 
oscillation between the two geniuses1   
the ,greek and the ,roman1 the eastern  
and the western1 the ancient and the    
,christian1 or the struggle between the 
two ideals1 that of liberty and that of 
holiness4 ,liberty raises us to the     
gods2 holiness prostrates us on the     
ground4 ,action limits us2 whereas in   

the state of contemplation we are       
endlessly expansive4 ,will localizes us2
 thought universalizes us4 ,my soul     
wavers between half a dozen antagonistic
 general conceptions1 because it is     
responsive to all the great instincts of
 human nature1 and its aspiration is to 
the absolute1 which is only to be       
reached through a succession of         
contraries4 ,it has taken me a great    
deal of time to understand myself1 and  
,i frequently find myself beginning over
 again the study of the oft-solved      
problem1 so difficult is it for us to   
maintain any fixed point within us4 ,i  
love everything1 and detest one thing   
only--the hopeless imprisonment of my   
being within a single arbitrary form1   
even were it chosen by myself4 ,liberty 
for the inner man is then the strongest 
of my passions--perhaps my only passion4
 ,is such a passion lawful8 ,it has been
 my habit to think so1 but              
intermittently1 by fits and starts4 ,i  
am not perfectly sure of it4  ,march    

#ag1 #ahfh4--,women wish to be loved    
without a why or a wherefore2 not       
because they are pretty1 or good1 or    
well bred1 or graceful1 or intelligent1 
but because they are themselves4 ,all   
analysis seems to them to imply a loss  
of consideration1 a subordination of    
their personality to something which    
dominates and measures it4 ,they will   
have none of it2 and their instinct is  
just4 ,as soon as we can give a reason  
for a feeling we are no longer under the
 spell of it2 we appreciate1 we weigh1  
we are free1 at least in principle4     
,love must always remain a fascination1 
a witchery1 if the empire of woman is to
 endure4 ,once the mystery gone1 the    
power goes with it4 ,love must always   
seem to us indivisible1 insoluble1      
superior to all analysis1 if it is to   
preserve that appearance of infinity1 of
 something supernatural and miraculous1 
which makes its chief beauty4 ,the      
majority of beings despise what they    
understand1 and bow only before the     

inexplicable4 ,the feminine triumph par 
excellence is to convict of obscurity   
that virile intelligence which makes so 
much pretense to enlightenment4 ,and    
when a woman inspires love1 it is then  
especially that she enjoys this proud   
triumph4 ,i admit that her exultation   
has its grounds4 ,still1 it seems to me 
that love--true and profound            
love--should be a source of light and   
calm1 a religion and a revelation1 in   
which there is no place left for the    
lower victories of vanity4 ,great souls 
care only for what is great1 and to the 
spirit which hovers in the sight of the 
,infinite1 any sort of artifice seems a 
disgraceful puerility4  ,march #ai1     
#ahfh4--,what we call little things are 
merely the causes of great things2 they 
are the beginning1 the embryo1 and it is
 the point of departure which1 generally
 speaking1 decides the whole future of  
an existence4 ,one single black speck   
may be the beginning of a gangrene1 of a
 storm1 of a revolution4 ,from one      

insignificant misunderstanding hatred   
and separation may finally issue4 ,an   
enormous avalanche begins by the        
displacement of one atom1 and the       
conflagration of a town by the fall of a
 match4 ,almost everything comes from   
almost nothing1 one might think4 ,it is 
only the first crystallization which is 
the affair of mind2 the ultimate        
aggregation is the affair of mass1 of   
attraction1 of acquired momentum1 of    
mechanical acceleration4 ,history1 like 
nature1 illustrates for us the          
application of the law of inertia and   
agglomeration which is put lightly in   
the proverb1 8,nothing succeeds like    
success40 ,find the right point at      
starting2 strike straight1 begin well2  
everything depends on it4 ,or more      
simply still1 provide yourself with good
 luck--for accident plays a vast part in
 human affairs4 ,those who have         
succeeded most in this world 7,napoleon 
or ,bismarck7 confess it2 calculation is
 not without its uses1 but chance makes 

mock of calculation1 and the result of a
 planned combination is in no wise      
proportional to its merit4 ,from the    
supernatural point of view people say3  
8,this chance1 as you call it1 is1 in   
reality1 the action of providence4 ,man 
may give himself what trouble he        
will--,god leads him all the same40     
,only1 unfortunately1 this supposed     
intervention as often as not ends in the
 defeat of zeal1 virtue1 and devotion1  
and the success of crime1 stupidity1 and
 selfishness4 ,poor1 sorely-tried       
,faith6 ,she has but one way out of the 
difficulty--the word ,mystery6 ,it is in
 the origins of things that the great   
secret of destiny lies hidden1 although 
the breathless sequence of after events 
has often many surprises for us too4 ,so
 that at first sight history seems to us
 accident and confusion2 looked at for  
the second time1 it seems to us logical 
and necessary2 looked at for the third  
time1 it appears to us a mixture of     
necessity and liberty2 on the fourth    

examination we scarcely know what to    
think of it1 for if force is the source 
of right1 and chance the origin of      
force1 we come back to our first        
explanation1 only with a heavier heart  
than when we began4  ,is ,democritus    
right after all8 ,is chance the         
foundation of everything1 all laws being
 but the imaginations of our reason1    
which1 itself born of accident1 has a   
certain power of self-deception and of  
inventing laws which it believes to be  
real and objective1 just as a man who   
dreams of a meal thinks that he is      
eating1 while in reality there is       
neither table1 nor food1 nor guest nor  
nourishment8 ,everything goes on as if  
there were order and reason and logic in
 the world1 while in reality everything 
is fortuitous1 accidental1 and apparent4
 ,the universe is but the kaleidoscope  
which turns within the mind of the      
so-called thinking being1 who is himself
 a curiosity without a cause1 an        
accident conscious of the great accident

 around him1 and who amuses himself with
 it so long as the phenomenon of his    
vision lasts4 ,science is a lucid       
madness occupied in tabulating its own  
necessary hallucinations4 ,the          
philosopher laughs1 for he alone escapes
 being duped1 while he sees other men   
the victims of persistent illusion4 ,he 
is like some mischievous spectator of a 
ball who has cleverly taken all the     
strings from the violins1 and yet sees  
musicians and dancers moving and        
pirouetting before him as though the    
music were still going on4 ,such an     
experience would delight him as proving 
that the universal ,st4 ,vitus' dance is
 also nothing but an aberration of the  
inner consciousness1 and that the       
philosopher is in the right of it as    
against the general credulity4 ,is it   
not even enough simply to shut one's    
ears in a ballroom1 to believe one's    
self in a madhouse8  ,the multitude of  
religions on the earth must have very   
much the same effect upon the man who   

has killed the religious idea in        
himself4 ,but it is a dangerous attempt1
 this repudiation of the common law of  
the race--this claim to be in the right1
 as against all the world4  ,it is not  
often that the philosophic scoffers     
forget themselves for others4 ,why      
should they8 ,self-devotion is a serious
 thing1 and seriousness would be        
inconsistent with their rle of mockery4 
,to be unselfish we must love2 to love  
we must believe in the reality of what  
we love2 we must know how to suffer1 how
 to forget ourselves1 how to yield      
ourselves up--in a word1 how to be      
serious4 ,a spirit of incessant mockery 
means absolute isolation2 it is the sign
 of a thoroughgoing egotism4 ,if we wish
 to do good to men we must pity and not 
despise them4 ,we must learn to say of  
them1 not 8,what fools60 but 8,what     
unfortunates60  ,the pessimist or the   
nihilist seems to me less cold and icy  
than the mocking atheist4 ,he reminds me
 of the somber words of 8,ahasvrus30    

8,vous qui manquez de charit1           
,tremblez  mon supplice trange3   ,ce   
n'est point sa divinit1   ,c'est        
l'humanit que ,dieu venge60  ,footnote3 
,the quotation is from ,quinet's        
8,ahasvrus0 7first published #ahcc71    
that strange ,welt-gedicht1 which the   
author himself described as 8l'histoire 
du monde1 de ,dieu dans le monde1 et    
enfin du doute dans le monde10 and      
which1 with ,faust1 probably suggested  
the unfinished but in many ways         
brilliant performance of the young      
,spaniard1 ,espronceda--,el ,diablo     
,mundo4  ,it is better to be lost than  
to be saved all alone2 and it is a wrong
 to one's kind to wish to be wise       
without making others share our wisdom4 
,it is1 besides1 an illusion to suppose 
that such a privilege is possible1 when 
everything proves the solidarity of     
individuals1 and when no one can think  
at all except by means of the general   
store of thought1 accumulated and       
refined by centuries of cultivation and 

experience4 ,absolute individualism is  
an absurdity4 ,a man may be isolated in 
his own particular and temporary milieu1
 but every one of our thoughts or       
feelings finds1 has found1 and will     
find1 its echo in humanity4 ,such an    
echo is immense and far-resounding in   
the case of those representative men who
 have been adopted by great fractions of
 humanity as guides1 revealers1 and     
reformers2 but it exists for everybody4 
,every sincere utterance of the soul1   
every testimony faithfully borne to a   
personal conviction1 is of use to some  
one and some thing1 even when you know  
it not1 and when your mouth is stopped  
by violence1 or the noose tightens round
 your neck4 ,a word spoken to some one  
preserves an indestructible influence1  
just as any movement whatever may be    
metamorphosed1 but not undone4 ,here1   
then1 is a reason for not mocking1 for  
not being silent1 for affirming1 for    
acting4 ,we must have faith in truth2 we
 must seek the true and spread it       

abroad2 we must love men and serve them4
  ,april #i1 #ahfh4--;,i have been      
spending three hours over ,lotze's big  
volume 78,geschichte der ,aesthetikin   
,deutschland074 ,it begins attractively1
 but the attraction wanes1 and by the   
end ,i was very tired of it4 ,why8      
,because the noise of a mill-wheel sends
 one to sleep1 and these pages without  
paragraphs1 these interminable chapters1
 and this incessant1 dialectical        
clatter1 affect me as though ,i were    
listening to a word-mill4 ,i end by     
yawning like any simple                 
non-philosophical mortal in the face of 
all this heaviness and pedantry4        
,erudition1 and even thought1 are not   
everything4 ,an occasional touch of     
esprit1 a little sharpness of phrase1 a 
little vivacity1 imagination1 and grace1
 would spoil neither4 ,do these pedantic
 books leave a single image or formula1 
a single new or striking fact behind    
them in the memory1 when one puts them  
down8 ,no2 nothing but confusion and    

fatigue4 ,oh for clearness1 terseness1  
brevity6 ,diderot1 ,voltaire1 and even  
,galiani6  ,a short article by          
,sainte-,beuve1 ,scherer1 ,renan1       
,victor ,cherbuliez1 gives one more     
pleasure1 and makes one think and       
reflect more1 than a thousand of these  
heavy ,german pages1 stuffed to the     
brim1 and showing rather the work itself
 than its results4 ,the ,germans gather 
fuel for the pile3 it is the ,french who
 kindle it4 ,for heaven's sake1 spare me
 your lucubrations2 give me facts or    
ideas4 ,keep your vats1 your must1 your 
dregs1 in the background4 ,what ,i ask  
is wine--wine which will sparkle in the 
glass1 and stimulate intelligence       
instead of weighing it down4  ,april    
#aa1 #ahfh4 7,mornex sur ,salve74--,i   
left town in a great storm of wind1     
which was raising clouds of dust along  
the suburban roads1 and two hours later 
,i found myself safely installed among  
the mountains1 just like last year4 ,i  
think of staying a week here4444 ,the   

sounds of the village are wafted to my  
open window1 barkings of distant dogs1  
voices of women at the fountain1 the    
songs of birds in the lower orchards4   
,the green carpet of the plain is       
dappled by passing shadows thrown upon  
it by the clouds2 the landscape has the 
charm of delicate tint and a sort of    
languid grace4 ,already ,i am full of a 
sense of well-being1 ,i am tasting the  
joys of that contemplative state in     
which the soul1 issuing from itself1    
becomes as it were the soul of a country
 or a landscape1 and feels living within
 it a multitude of lives4 ,here is no   
more resistance1 negation1 blame2       
everything is affirmative2 ,i feel      
myself in harmony with nature and with  
surroundings1 of which ,i seem to myself
 the expression4 ,the heart opens to the
 immensity of things4 ,this is what ,i  
love6 ,nam mihires1 non me rebus        
submittere conor4 ,april #ab1 #ahfh4    
7,easter ,day71 ,mornex ,eight ,a4      
,m4--,the day has opened solemnly and   

religiously4 ,there is a tinkling of    
bells from the valley3 even the fields  
seem to be breathing forth a canticle of
 praise4 ,humanity must have a worship1 
and1 all things considered1 is not the  
,christian worship the best among those 
which have existed on a large scale8    
,the religion of sin1 of repentance1 and
 reconciliation--the religion of the new
 birth and of eternal life--is not a    
religion to be ashamed of4 ,in spite of 
all the aberrations of fanaticism1 all  
the superstitions of formalism1 all the 
ugly superstructures of hypocrisy1 all  
the fantastic puerilities of theology1  
the gospel has modified the world and   
consoled mankind4 ,christian humanity is
 not much better than pagan humanity1   
but it would be much worse without a    
religion1 and without this religion4    
,every religion proposes an ideal and a 
model2 the ,christian ideal is sublime1 
and its model of a divine beauty4 ,we   
may hold aloof from the churches1 and   
yet bow ourselves before ,jesus4 ,we may

 be suspicious of the clergy1 and refuse
 to have anything to do with catechisms1
 and yet love the ,holy and the ,just1  
who came to save and not to curse4      
,jesus will always supply us with the   
best criticism of ,christianity1 and    
when ,christianity has passed away the  
religion of ,jesus will in all          
probability survive4 ,after ,jesus as   
,god we shall come back to faith in the 
,god of ,jesus4  ,five o'clock ,p4      
,m4--,i have been for a long walk       
through ,czargues1 ,eseri1 and the ,yves
 woods1 returning by the ,pont du ,loup4
 ,the weather was cold and gray4 ,a     
great popular merrymaking of some sort1 
with its multitude of blouses1 and its  
drums and fifes1 has been going on      
riotously for an hour under my window4  
,the crowd has sung a number of songs1  
drinking songs1 ballads1 romances1 but  
all more or less heavy and ugly4 ,the   
muse has never touched our country      
people1 and the ,swiss race is not      
graceful even in its gayety4 ,a bear in 

high spirits--this is what one thinks   
of4 ,the poetry it produces1 too1 is    
desperately vulgar and commonplace4     
,why8 ,in the first place1 because1 in  
spite of the pretenses of our democratic
 philosophies1 the classes whose backs  
are bent with manual labor are          
aesthetically inferior to the others4   
,in the next place1 because our old     
rustic peasant poetry is dead1 and the  
peasant1 when he tries to share the     
music or the poetry of the cultivated   
classes1 only succeeds in caricaturing  
it1 and not in copying it4 ,democracy1  
by laying it down that there is but one 
class for all men1 has in fact done a   
wrong to everything that is not         
first-rate4 ,as we can no longer without
 offense judge men according to a       
certain recognized order1 we can only   
compare them to the best that exists1   
and then they naturally seem to us more 
mediocre1 more ugly1 more deformed than 
before4 ,if the passion for equality    
potentially raises the average1 it      

really degrades nineteen-twentieths of  
individuals below their former place4   
,there is a progress in the domain of   
law and a falling back in the domain of 
art4 ,and meanwhile the artists see     
multiplying before them their bte-noire1
 the bourgeois1 the ,philistine1 the    
presumptuous ignoramus1 the quack who   
plays at science1 and the feather-brain 
who thinks himself the equal of the     
intelligent4  8,commonness will         
prevail10 as ,de ,candolle said in      
speaking of the graminaceous plants4    
,the era of equality means the triumph  
of mediocrity4 ,it is disappointing1 but
 inevitable2 for it is one of time's    
revenges4 ,humanity1 after having       
organized itself on the basis of the    
dissimilarity of individuals1 is now    
organizing itself on the basis of their 
similarity1 and the one exclusive       
principle is about as true as the other4
 ,art no doubt will lose1 but justice   
will gain4 ,is not universal            
leveling-down the law of nature1 and    

when all has been leveled will not all  
have been destroyed8 ,so that the world 
is striving with all its force for the  
destruction of what it has itself       
brought forth4 ,life is the blind       
pursuit of its own negation2 as has been
 said of the wicked1 nature also works  
for her own disappointment1 she labors  
at what she hates1 she weaves her own   
shroud1 and piles up the stones of her  
own tomb4 ,god may well forgive us1 for 
8we know not what to do40  ,just as the 
sum of force is always identical in the 
material universe1 and presents a       
spectacle not of diminution nor of      
augmentation but simply of constant     
metamorphosis1 so it is not impossible  
that the sum of good is in reality      
always the same1 and that therefore all 
progress on one side is compensated     
inversely on another side4 ,if this were
 so we ought never to say that period or
 a people is absolutely and as a whole  
superior to another time or another     
people1 but only that there is          

superiority in certain points4 ,the     
great difference between man and man    
would1 on these principles1 consist in  
the art of transforming vitality into   
spirituality1 and latent power into     
useful energy4 ,the same difference     
would hold good between nation and      
nation1 so that the object of the       
simultaneous or successive competition  
of mankind in history would be the      
extraction of the maximum of humanity   
from a given amount of animality4       
,education1 morals1 and politics would  
be only variations of the same art1 the 
art of living--that is to say1 of       
disengaging the pure form and subtlest  
essence of our individual being4  ,april
 #bf1 #ahfh4 7,sunday1 ,mid-day74--,a   
gloomy morning4 ,on all sides a         
depressing outlook1 and within1 disgust 
with self4  ,ten ,p4,m4--,visits and a  
walk4 ,i have spent the evening alone4  
,many things to-day have taught me      
lessons of wisdom4 ,i have seen the     
hawthorns covering themselves with      

blossom1 and the whole valley springing 
up afresh under the breath of the       
spring4 ,i have been the spectator of   
faults of conduct on the part of old men
 who will not grow old1 and whose heart 
is in rebellion against the natural law4
 ,i have watched the working of marriage
 in its frivolous and commonplace forms1
 and listened to trivial preaching4 ,i  
have been a witness of griefs without   
hope1 of loneliness that claimed one's  
pity4 ,i have listened to pleasantries  
on the subject of madness1 and to the   
merry songs of the birds4 ,and          
everything has had the same message for 
me3 8,place yourself once more in       
harmony with the universal law2 accept  
the will of ,god2 make a religious use  
of life2 work while it is yet day2 be at
 once serious and cheerful2 know how to 
repeat with the apostle1 #8,i have      
learned in whatsoever state ,i am       
therewith to be content4'0  ,august #bf1
 #ahfh4--;,after all the storms of      
feeling within and the organic          

disturbances without1 which during these
 latter months have pinned me so closely
 to my own individual existence1 shall  
,i ever be able to reascend into the    
region of pure intelligence1 to enter   
again upon the disinterested and        
impersonal life1 to recover my old      
indifference toward subjective miseries1
 and regain a purely scientific and     
contemplative state of mind8 ,shall ,i  
ever succeed in forgetting all the needs
 which bind me to earth and to humanity8
 ,shall ,i ever become pure spirit8     
,alas6 ,i cannot persuade myself to     
believe it possible for an instant4 ,i  
see infirmity and weakness close upon   
me1 ,i feel ,i cannot do without        
affection1 and ,i know that ,i have no  
ambition1 and that my faculties are     
declining4 ,i remember that ,i am       
forty-seven years old1 and that all my  
brood of youthful hopes has flown away4 
,so that there is no deceiving myself as
 to the fate which awaits me3 increasing
 loneliness1 mortification of spirit1   

long-continued regret1 melancholy       
neither to be consoled nor confessed1 a 
mournful old age1 a slow decay1 a death 
in the desert6  ,terrible dilemma6      
,whatever is still possible to me has   
lost its savor1 while all that ,i could 
still desire escapes me1 and will always
 escape me4 ,every impulse ends in      
weariness and disappointment4           
,discouragement1 depression1 weakness1  
apathy2 there is the dismal series which
 must be forever begun and re-begun1    
while we are still rolling up the       
,sisyphean rock of life4 ,is it not     
simpler and shorter to plunge           
head-foremost into the gulf8  ,no1 rebel
 as we may1 there is but one            
solution--to submit to the general      
order1 to accept1 to resign ourselves1  
and to do still what we can4 ,it is our 
self-will1 our aspirations1 our dreams1 
that must be sacrificed4 ,we must give  
up the hope of happiness once for all6  
,immolation of the self--death to       
self--this is the only suicide which is 

either useful or permitted4 ,in my      
present mood of indifference and        
disinterestedness1 there is some secret 
ill-humor1 some wounded pride1 a little 
rancor2 there is selfishness in short1  
since a premature claim for rest is     
implied in it4 ,absolute                
disinterestedness is only reached in    
that perfect humility which tramples the
 self under foot for the glory of ,god4 
,i have no more strength left1 ,i wish  
for nothing2 but that is not what is    
wanted4 ,i must wish what ,god wishes2  
,i must pass from indifference to       
sacrifice1 and from sacrifice to        
self-devotion4 ,the cup which ,i would  
fain put away from me is the misery of  
living1 the shame of existing and       
suffering as a common creature who has  
missed his vocation2 it is the bitter   
and increasing humiliation of declining 
power1 of growing old under the weight  
of one's own disapproval1 and the       
disappointment of one's friends6 8,wilt 
thou be healed80 was the text of last   

,sunday's sermon4 8,come to me1 all ye  
who are weary and heavy-laden1 and ,i   
will give you rest40 8,and if our heart 
condemn us1 ,god is greater than our    
heart40  ,august #bg1 #ahfh4--,to-day ,i
 took up the 8,penseroso0 ,footnote3    
8,,ii ,penseroso10 posies-maximes par   
,h4 ,f4 ,amiel3 ,genve1 #aheh4 ,this    
little book1 which contains one hundred 
and thirty-three maxims1 several of     
which are quoted in the ,journal        
,intime1 is prefaced by a motto         
translated from ,shelley--8,ce n'est pas
 la science qui nous manque1  nous      
modernes2 nous l'avons                  
surabondamment4444 ,mais ce que nous    
avons absorb nous absorbe4444 ,ce qui   
nous manque c'est la posie de la vie40  
again4 ,i have often violated its maxims
 and forgotten its lessons4 ,still1 this
 volume is a true son of my soul1 and   
breathes the true spirit of the inner   
life4 ,whenever ,i wish to revive my    
consciousness of my own tradition1 it is
 pleasant to me to read over this little

 gnomic collection which has had such   
scant justice done to it1 and which1    
were it another's1 ,i should often      
quote4 ,i like to feel that in it ,i    
have attained to that relative truth    
which may be defined as consistency with
 self1 the harmony of appearance with   
reality1 of thought with expression--in 
other words1 sincerity1 ingenuousness1  
inwardness4 ,it is personal experience  
in the strictest sense of the word4     
,september #ba1 #ahfh4 7,villars74--,a  
lovely autumn effect4 ,everything was   
veiled in gloom this morning1 and a gray
 mist of rain floated between us and the
 whole circle of mountains4 ,now the    
strip of blue sky which made its        
appearance at first behind the distant  
peaks has grown larger1 has mounted to  
the zenith1 and the dome of heaven1     
swept almost clear of cloud1 sends      
streaming down upon us the pale rays of 
a convalescent sun4 ,the day now        
promises kindly1 and all is well that   
ends well4  ,thus after a season of     

tears a sober and softened joy may      
return to us4 ,say to yourself that you 
are entering upon the autumn of your    
life2 that the graces of spring and the 
splendors of summer are irrevocably     
gone1 but that autumn too has its       
beauties4 ,the autumn weather is often  
darkened by rain1 cloud1 and mist1 but  
the air is still soft1 and the sun still
 delights the eyes1 and touches the     
yellowing leaves caressingly2 it is the 
time for fruit1 for harvest1 for the    
vintage1 the moment for making provision
 for the winter4 ,here the herds of     
milch-cows have already come down to the
 level of the chlet1 and next week they 
will be lower than we are4 ,this living 
barometer is a warning to us that the   
time has come to say farewell to the    
mountains4 ,there is nothing to gain1   
and everything to lose1 by despising the
 example of nature1 and making arbitrary
 rules of life for one's self4 ,our     
liberty1 wisely understood1 is but a    
voluntary obedience to the universal    

laws of life4 ,my life has reached its  
month of ,september4 ,may ,i recognize  
it in time1 and suit thought and action 
to the fact6  ,november #ac1 #ahfh4--;,i
 am reading part of two books by        
,charles ,secrtan ,footnote3 ,charles   
,secrtan1 a ,lausanne professor1 the    
friend of ,vinet1 born #ahai4 ,he       
published 8,leons sur la ,philosophie de
 ,leibnitz10  8,philosophie de la       
,libert10 8,la ,raison et le            
,christianisme10 etc4 8,recherches sur  
la ,mthode10 #aheg2 8,prcis lmentaire de
 ,philosophie10  #ahfh4 ,the philosophy 
of ,secrtan is the philosophy of        
,christianity1 considered as the one    
true religion4 ,subordination of nature 
to intelligence1 of intelligence to     
will1 and of will to dogmatic           
faith--such is its general framework4   
,unfortunately there are no signs of    
critical1 or comparative1 or historical 
study in it1 and as an apologetic--in   
which satire is curiously mingled with  
glorification of the religion of        

love--it leaves upon one an impression  
of parti pris4 ,a philosophy of         
religion1 apart from the comparative    
science of religions1 and apart also    
from a disinterested and general        
philosophy of history1 must always be   
more or less arbitrary and factitious4  
,it is only pseudo-scientific1 this     
reduction of human life to three        
spheres--industry1 law1 and religion4   
,the author seems to me to possess a    
vigorous and profound mind1 rather than 
a free mind4 ,not only is he dogmatic1  
but he dogmatizes in favor of a given   
religion1 to which his whole allegiance 
is pledged4 ,besides1 ,christianity     
being an ,x which each church defines in
 its own way1 the author takes the same 
liberty1 and defines the ,x in his way2 
so that he is at once too free and not  
free enough2 too free in respect to     
historical ,christianity1 not free      
enough in respect to ,christianity as a 
particular church4 ,he does not satisfy 
the believing ,anglican1 ,lutheran1     

,reformed ,churchman1 or ,catholic2 and 
he does not satisfy the freethinker4    
,this ,schellingian type of speculation1
 which consists in logically deducing a 
particular religion--that is to say1 in 
making philosophy the servant of        
,christian theology--is a legacy from   
the ,middle ,ages4  ,after belief comes 
judgment2 but a believer is not a judge4
 ,a fish lives in the ocean1 but it     
cannot see all around it2 it cannot take
 a view of the whole2 therefore it      
cannot judge what the ocean is4 ,in     
order to understand ,christianity we    
must put it in its historical place1 in 
its proper framework2 we must regard it 
as a part of the religious development  
of humanity1 and so judge it1 not from a
 ,christian point of view1 but from a   
human point of view1 sine ira nec       
studio4  ,december #af1 #ahfh4--;,i am  
in the most painful state of anxiety as 
to my poor kind friend1 ,charles        
,heim4444 ,since the #cjth of ,november 
,i have had no letter from the dear     

invalid1 who then said his last farewell
 to me4 ,how long these two weeks have  
seemed to me--and how keenly ,i have    
realized that strong craving which many 
feel for the last words1 the last looks1
 of those they love6 ,such words and    
looks are a kind of testament4 ,they    
have a solemn and sacred character which
 is not merely an effect of our         
imagination4 ,for that which is on the  
brink of death already participates to  
some extent in eternity4 ,a dying man   
seems to speak to us from beyond the    
tomb2 what he says has the effect upon  
us of a sentence1 an oracle1 an         
injunction2 we look upon him as one     
endowed with second sight4 ,serious and 
solemn words come naturally to the man  
who feels life escaping him1 and the    
grave opening before him4 ,the depths of
 his nature are then revealed2 the      
divine within him need no longer hide   
itself4 ,oh1 do not let us wait to be   
just or pitiful or demonstrative toward 
those we love until they or we are      

struck down by illness or threatened    
with death6 ,life is short and we have  
never too much time for gladdening the  
hearts of those who are traveling the   
dark journey with us4 ,oh1 be swift to  
love1 make haste to be kind6  ,december 
#bf1 #ahfh4--,my dear friend died this  
morning at ,hyres4 ,a beautiful soul has
 returned to heaven4 ,so he has ceased  
to suffer6 ,is he happy now8         99 
99       99       99       99  ,if men  
are always more or less deceived on the 
subject of women1 it is because they    
forget that they and women do not speak 
altogether the same language1 and that  
words have not the same weight or the   
same meaning for them1 especially in    
questions of feeling4 ,whether from     
shyness or precaution or artifice1 a    
woman never speaks out her whole        
thought1 and moreover what she herself  
knows of it is but a part of what it    
really is4 ,complete frankness seems to 
be impossible to her1 and complete      
self-knowledge seems to be forbidden    

her4 ,if she is a sphinx to us1 it is   
because she is a riddle of doubtful     
meaning even to herself4 ,she has no    
need of perfidy1 for she is mystery     
itself4 ,a woman is something fugitive1 
irrational1 indeterminable1 illogical1  
and contradictory4 ,a great deal of     
forbearance ought to be shown her1 and a
 good deal of prudence exercised with   
regard to her1 for she may bring about  
innumerable evils without knowing ,it4  
,capable of all kinds of devotion1 and  
of all kinds of treason1 8monstre       
incomprhensible10 raised to the second  
power1 she is at once the delight and   
the terror of man4         99       99  
99       99       99  ,the more a man   
loves1 the more he suffers4 ,the sum of 
possible grief for each soul is in      
proportion to its degree of perfection4 
99       99       99       99       99  
,he who is too much afraid of being     
duped has lost the power of being       
magnanimous4         99       99        
99       99       99  ,doubt of the     

reality of love ends by making us doubt 
everything4 ,the final result of all    
deceptions and disappointments is       
atheism1 which may not always yield up  
its name and secret1 but which lurks1 a 
masked specter1 within the depths of    
thought1 as the last supreme explainer4 
8,man is what his love is10 and follows 
the fortunes of his love4         99    
99       99       99       99  ,the     
beautiful souls of the world have an art
 of saintly alchemy1 by which bitterness
 is converted into kindness1 the gall of
 human experience into gentleness1      
ingratitude into benefits1 insults into 
pardon4 ,and the transformation ought to
 become so easy and habitual that the   
lookers-on may think it spontaneous1 and
 nobody give us credit for it4  ,january
 #bg1 #ahfi4--,what1 then1 is the       
service rendered to the world by        
,christianity8 ,the proclamation of     
8good news40 ,and what is this 8good    
news80 ,the pardon of sin4 ,the ,god of 
holiness loving the world and           

reconciling it to himself by ,jesus1 in 
order to establish the kingdom of ,god1 
the city of souls1 the life of heaven   
upon earth--here you have the whole of  
it2 but in this is a revolution4 8,love 
ye one another1 as ,i have loved you20  
8,be ye one with me1 as ,i am one with  
the ,father30 for this is life eternal1 
here is perfection1 salvation1 joy4     
,faith in the fatherly love of ,god1 who
 punishes and pardons for our good1 and 
who desires not the death of the sinner1
 but his conversion and his life--here  
is the motive power of the redeemed4    
,what we call ,christianity is a vast   
ocean1 into which flow a number of      
spiritual currents of distant and       
various origin2 certain religions1 that 
is to say1 of ,asia and of ,europe1 the 
great ideas of ,greek wisdom1 and       
especially those of ,platonism4 ,neither
 its doctrine nor its morality1 as they 
have been historically developed1 are   
new or spontaneous4 ,what is essential  
and original in it is the practical     

demonstration that the human and the    
divine nature may co-exist1 may become  
fused into one sublime flame2 that      
holiness and pity1 justice and mercy1   
may meet together and become one1 in man
 and in ,god4 ,what is specific in      
,christianity is ,jesus--the religious  
consciousness of ,jesus4 ,the sacred    
sense of his absolute union with ,god   
through perfect love and self-surrender1
 this profound1 invincible1 and tranquil
 faith of his1 has become a religion2   
the faith of ,jesus has become the faith
 of millions and millions of men4 ,from 
this torch has sprung a vast            
conflagration4 ,and such has been the   
brilliancy and the radiance both of     
revealer and revelation1 that the       
astonished world has forgotten its      
justice in its admiration1 and has      
referred to one single benefactor the   
whole of those benefits which are its   
heritage from the past4  ,the conversion
 of ecclesiastical and confessional     
,christianity into historical           

,christianity is the work of biblical   
science4 ,the conversion of historical  
,christianity into philosophical        
,christianity is an attempt which is to 
some extent an illusion1 since faith    
cannot be entirely resolved into        
science4 ,the transference1 however1 of 
,christianity from the region of history
 to the region of psychology is the     
great craving of our time4 ,what we are 
trying to arrive at is the eternal      
gospel4 ,but before we can reach it1 the
 comparative history and philosophy of  
religions must assign to ,christianity  
its true place1 and must judge it4 ,the 
religion1 too1 which ,jesus professed   
must be disentangled from the religion  
which has taken ,jesus for its object4  
,and when at last we are able to point  
out the state of consciousness which is 
the primitive cell1 the principle of the
 eternal gospel1 we shall have reached  
our goal1 for in it is the punctum      
saliens of pure religion4  ,perhaps the 
extraordinary will take the place of the

 supernatural1 and the great geniuses of
 the world will come to be regarded as  
the messengers of ,god in history1 as   
the providential revealers through whom 
the spirit of ,god works upon the human 
mass4 ,what is perishing is not the     
admirable and the adorable2 it is simply
 the arbitrary1 the accidental1 the     
miraculous4 ,just as the poor           
illuminations of a village fte1 or the  
tapers of a procession1 are put out by  
the great marvel of the sun1 so the     
small local miracles1 with their        
meanness and doubtfulness1 will sink    
into insignificance beside the law of   
the world of spirits1 the incomparable  
spectacle of human history1 led by that 
all-powerful ,dramaturgus whom we call  
,god4 ,utinam6  ,march #a1              
#ahfi4--;,impartiality and objectivity  
are as rare as justice1 of which they   
are but two special forms4              
,self-interest is an inexhaustible      
source of convenient illusions4 ,the    
number of beings who wish to see truly  

is extraordinarily small4 ,what governs 
men is the fear of truth1 unless truth  
is useful to them1 which is as much as  
to say that self-interest is the        
principle of the common philosophy or   
that truth is made for us but not we for
 truth4 ,as this fact is humiliating1   
the majority of people will neither     
recognize nor admit it4 ,and thus a     
prejudice of self-love protects all the 
prejudices of the understanding1 which  
are themselves the result of a stratagem
 of the ego4 ,humanity has always slain 
or persecuted those who have disturbed  
this selfish repose of hers4 ,she only  
improves in spite of herself4 ,the only 
progress which she desires is an        
increase of enjoyments4 ,all advances in
 justice1 in morality1 in holiness1 have
 been imposed upon or forced from her by
 some noble violence4 ,sacrifice1 which 
is the passion of great souls1 has never
 been the law of societies4 ,it is too  
often by employing one vice against     
another--for example1 vanity against    

cupidity1 greed against idleness--that  
the great agitators have broken through 
routine4 ,in a word1 the human world is 
almost entirely directed by the law of  
nature1 and the law of the spirit1 which
 is the leaven of its coarse paste1 has 
but rarely succeeded in raising it into 
generous expansion4  ,from the point of 
view of the ideal1 humanity is triste   
and ugly4 ,but if we compare it with its
 probable origins1 we see that the human
 race has not altogether wasted its     
time4 ,hence there are three possible   
views of history3 the view of the       
pessimist1 who starts from the ideal2   
the view of the optimist1 who compares  
the past with the present2 and the view 
of the hero-worshiper1 who sees that all
 progress whatever has cost oceans of   
blood and tears4  ,european hypocrisy   
veils its face before the voluntary     
suicide of those ,indian fanatics who   
throw themselves under the wheels of    
their goddess' triumphal car4 ,and yet  
these sacrifices are but the symbol of  

what goes on in ,europe as elsewhere1 of
 that offering of their life which is   
made by the martyrs of all great causes4
 ,we may even say that the fierce and   
sanguinary goddess is humanity itself1  
which is only spurred to progress by    
remorse1 and repents only when the      
measure of its crimes runs over4 ,the   
fanatics who sacrifice themselves are an
 eternal protest against the universal  
selfishness4 ,we have only overthrown   
those idols which are tangible and      
visible1 but perpetual sacrifice still  
exists everywhere1 and everywhere the   
lite of each generation suffers for the 
salvation of the multitude4 ,it is the  
austere1 bitter1 and mysterious law of  
solidarity4 ,perdition and redemption in
 and through each other is the destiny  
of men4  ,march #ah1 #ahfi              
7,thursday74--,whenever ,i come back    
from a walk outside the town ,i am      
disgusted and repelled by this cell of  
mine4 ,out of doors1 sunshine1 birds1   
spring1 beauty1 and life2 in here1      

ugliness1 piles of paper1 melancholy1   
and death4 ,and yet my walk was one of  
the saddest possible4 ,i wandered along 
the ,rhone and the ,arve1 and all the   
memories of the past1 all the           
disappointments of the present and all  
the anxieties of the future laid siege  
to my heart like a whirlwind of         
phantoms4 ,i took account of my faults1 
and they ranged themselves in battle    
against me4 ,the vulture of regret      
gnawed at my heart1 and the sense of the
 irreparable choked me like the iron    
collar of the pillory4 ,it seemed to me 
that ,i had failed in the task of life1 
and that now life was failing me4 ,ah6  
how terrible spring is to the lonely6   
,all the needs which had been lulled to 
sleep start into life again1 all the    
sorrows which had disappeared are       
reborn1 and the old man which had been  
gagged and conquered rises once more and
 makes his groans heard4 ,it is as      
though all the old wounds opened and    
bewailed themselves afresh4 ,just when  

one had ceased to think1 when one had   
succeeded in deadening feeling by work  
or by amusement1 all of a sudden the    
heart1 solitary captive that it is1     
sends a cry from its prison depths1 a   
cry which shakes to its foundations the 
whole surrounding edifice4  ,even       
supposing that one had freed one's self 
from all other fatalities1 there is     
still one yoke left from which it is    
impossible to escape--that of ,time4 ,i 
have succeeded in avoiding all other    
servitudes1 but ,i had reckoned without 
the last--the servitude of age4 ,age    
comes1 and its weight is equal to that  
of all other oppressions taken together4
 ,man1 under his mortal aspect1 is but a
 species of ephemera4  ,as ,i looked at 
the banks of the ,rhone1 which have seen
 the river flowing past them some ten or
 twenty thousand years1 or at the trees 
forming the avenue of the cemetery1     
which1 for two centuries1 have been the 
witnesses of so many funeral            
processions2 as ,i recognized the walls1

 the dykes1 the paths1 which saw me     
playing as a child1 and watched other   
children running over that grassy plain 
of ,plain ,palais which bore my own     
childish steps--,i had the sharpest     
sense of the emptiness of life and the  
flight of things4 ,i felt the shadow of 
the upas tree darkening over me4 ,i     
gazed into the great implacable abyss in
 which are swallowed up all those       
phantoms which call themselves living   
beings4 ,i saw that the living are but  
apparitions hovering for a moment over  
the earth1 made out of the ashes of the 
dead1 and swiftly re-absorbed by eternal
 night1 as the will-o'-the-wisp sinks   
into the marsh4 ,the nothingness of our 
joys1 the emptiness of our existence1   
and the futility of our ambitions1      
filled me with a quiet disgust4 ,from   
regret to disenchantment ,i floated on  
to ,buddhism1 to universal weariness4   
,ah1 the hope of a blessed immortality  
would be better worth having6  ,with    
what different eyes one looks at life at

 ten1 at twenty1 at thirty1 at sixty6   
,those who live alone are specially     
conscious of this psychological         
metamorphosis4 ,another thing1 too1     
astonishes them2 it is the universal    
conspiracy which exists for hiding the  
sadness of the world1 for making men    
forget suffering1 sickness1 and death1  
for smothering the wails and sobs which 
issue from every house1 for painting and
 beautifying the hideous face of        
reality4 ,is it out of tenderness for   
childhood and youth1 or is it simply    
from fear1 that we are thus careful to  
veil the sinister truth8 ,or is it from 
a sense of equity8 and does life contain
 as much good as evil--perhaps more8    
,however it may be1 men feed themselves 
rather upon illusion than upon truth4   
,each one unwinds his own special reel  
of hope1 and as soon as he has come to  
the end of it he sits him down to die1  
and lets his sons and his grandsons     
begin the same experience over again4   
,we all pursue happiness1 and happiness 

escapes the pursuit of all4  ,the only  
viaticum which can help us in the       
journey of life is that furnished by a  
great duty and some serious affections4 
,and even affections die1 or at least   
their objects are mortal2 a friend1 a   
wife1 a child1 a country1 a church1 may 
precede us in the tomb2 duty alone lasts
 as long as we4  ,this maxim exorcises  
the spirits of revolt1 of anger1        
discouragement1 vengeance1 indignation1 
and ambition1 which rise one after      
another to tempt and trouble the heart1 
swelling with the sap of the spring4 ,o 
all ye saints of the ,east1 of          
antiquity1 of ,christianity1 phalanx of 
heroes6 ,ye too drank deep of weariness 
and agony of soul1 but ye triumphed over
 both4 ,ye who have come forth victors  
from the strife1 shelter us under your  
palms1 fortify us by your example6      
,april #f1 #ahfi4--,magnificent weather4
 ,the ,alps are dazzling under their    
silver haze4 ,sensations of all kinds   
have been crowding upon me2 the delights

 of a walk under the rising sun1 the    
charms of a wonderful view1 longing for 
travel1 and thirst for joy1 hunger for  
work1 for emotion1 for life1 dreams of  
happiness and of love4 ,a passionate    
wish to live1 to feel1 to express1      
stirred the depths of my heart4 ,it was 
a sudden re-awakening of youth1 a flash 
of poetry1 a renewing of the soul1 a    
fresh growth of the wings of desire--,i 
was overpowered by a host of conquering1
 vagabond1 adventurous aspirations4 ,i  
forgot my age1 my obligations1 my       
duties1 my vexations1 and youth leaped  
within me as though life were beginning 
again4 ,it was as though something      
explosive had caught fire1 and one's    
soul were scattered to the four winds2  
in such a mood one would fain devour the
 whole world1 experience everything1 see
 everything4 ,faust's ambition enters   
into one1 universal desire--a horror of 
one's own prison cell4 ,one throws off  
one's hair shirt1 and one would fain    
gather the whole of nature into one's   

arms and heart4 ,o ye passions1 a ray of
 sunshine is enough to rekindle you all6
 ,the cold black mountain is a volcano  
once more1 and melts its snowy crown    
with one single gust of flaming breath4 
,it is the spring which brings about    
these sudden and improbable             
resurrections1 the spring which1 sending
 a thrill and tumult of life through all
 that lives1 is the parent of impetuous 
desires1 of overpowering inclinations1  
of unforeseen and inextinguishable      
outbursts of passion4 ,it breaks through
 the rigid bark of the trees1 and rends 
the mask on the face of asceticism2 it  
makes the monk tremble in the shadow of 
his convent1 the maiden behind the      
curtains of her room1 the child sitting 
on his school bench1 the old man bowed  
under his rheumatism4    8,o ,hymen1    
,hymenae60  ,april #bd1 #ahfi4--;,is    
,nemesis indeed more real than          
,providence1 the jealous ,god more true 
than the good ,god8 grief more certain  
than joy8 darkness more secure of       

victory than light8 ,is it pessimism or 
optimism which is nearest the truth1 and
 which--,leibnitz or ,schopenhauer--has 
best understood the universe8 ,is it the
 healthy man or the sick man who sees   
best to the bottom of things8 which is  
in the right8  ,ah6 the problem of grief
 and evil is and will be always the     
greatest enigma of being1 only second to
 the existence of being itself4 ,the    
common faith of humanity has assumed the
 victory of good over evil4 ,but if good
 consists not in the result of victory1 
but in victory itself1 then good implies
 an incessant and infinite contest1     
interminable struggle1 and a success    
forever threatened4 ,and if this is     
life1 is not ,buddha right in regarding 
life as synonymous with evil since it   
means perpetual restlessness and endless
 war8 ,repose according to the ,buddhist
 is only to be found in annihilation4   
,the art of self-annihilation1 of       
escaping the world's vast machinery of  
suffering1 and the misery of renewed    

existence--the art of reaching ,nirvna1 
is to him the supreme art1 the only     
means of deliverance4 ,the ,christian   
says to ,god3 ,deliver us from evil4    
,the ,buddhist adds3 ,and to that end   
deliver us from finite existence1 give  
us back to nothingness6 ,the first      
believes that when he is enfranchised   
from the body he will enter upon eternal
 happiness2 the second believes that    
individuality is the obstacle to all    
repose1 and he longs for the dissolution
 of the soul itself4 ,the dread of the  
first is the paradise of the second4    
,one thing only is necessary--the       
committal of the soul to ,god4 ,look    
that thou thyself art in order1 and     
leave to ,god the task of unraveling the
 skein of the world and of destiny4     
,what do annihilation or immortality    
matter8 ,what is to be1 will be4 ,and   
what will be1 will be for the best4     
,faith in good--perhaps the individual  
wants nothing more for his passage      
through life4 ,only he must have taken  

sides with ,socrates1 ,plato1           
,aristotle1 and ,zeno1 against          
materialism1 against the religion of    
accident and pessimism4 ,perhaps also he
 must make up his mind against the      
,buddhist nihilism1 because a man's     
system of conduct is diametrically      
opposite according as he labors to      
increase his life or to lessen it1      
according as he aims at cultivating his 
faculties or at systematically deadening
 them4  ,to employ one's individual     
efforts for the increase of good in the 
world--this modest ideal is enough for  
us4 ,to help forward the victory of good
 has been the common aim of saints and  
sages4 ,socii ,dei sumus was the word of
 ,seneca1 who had it from ,cleanthus4   
,april #cj1 #ahfi4--;,i have just       
finished ,vacherot's ,footnote3 ,etienne
 ,vacherot1 a ,french philosophical     
writer1 who owed his first successes in 
life to the friendship of ,cousin1 and  
was later brought very much into notice 
by his controversy with the ,abb        

,gratry1 by the prosecution brought     
against him in consequence of his book1 
8,la ,dmocratie0 7#ahei71 and by his    
rejection at the hands of the ,academy  
of ,moral and ,political ,sciences in   
#ahfe1 for the same kind of reasons     
which had brought about the exclusion of
 ,littr in the preceding year4 ,in      
#ahfh1 however1 he became a member of   
the ,institute in succession to ,cousin4
 ,a ,liberal of the old school1 he has  
separated himself from the republicans  
since the war1 and has made himself felt
 as a severe critic of republican       
blunders in the ,revue des deux ,mondes4
 ,la ,religion1 which discusses the     
psychological origins of the religious  
sense1 was published in #ahfh4 book 8,la
 ,religion10 #ahfi1 and it has set me   
thinking4 ,i have a feeling that his    
notion of religion is not rigorous and  
exact1 and that therefore his logic is  
subject to correction4 ,if religion is a
 psychological stage1 anterior to that  
of reason1 it is clear that it will     

disappear in man1 but if1 on the        
contrary1 it is a mode of the inner     
life1 it may and must last1 as long as  
the need of feeling1 and alongside the  
need of thinking4 ,the question is      
between theism and non-theism4 ,if ,god 
is only the category of the ideal1      
religion will vanish1 of course1 like   
the illusions of youth4 ,but if         
,universal ,being can be felt and loved 
at the same time as conceived1 the      
philosopher may be a religious man just 
as he may be an artist1 an orator1 or a 
citizen4 ,he may attach himself to a    
worship or ritual without derogation4 ,i
 myself incline to this solution4 ,to me
 religion is life before ,god and in    
,god4  ,and even if ,god were defined as
 the universal life1 so long as this    
life is positive and not negative1 the  
soul penetrated with the sense of the   
infinite is in the religious state4     
,religion differs from philosophy as the
 simple and spontaneous self differs    
from the reflecting self1 as synthetic  

intuition differs from intellectual     
analysis4 ,we are initiated into the    
religious state by a sense of voluntary 
dependence on1 and joyful submission to 
the principle of order and of goodness4 
,religious emotion makes man conscious  
of himself2 he finds his own place      
within the infinite unity1 and it is    
this perception which is sacred4  ,but  
in spite of these reservations ,i am    
much impressed by the book1 which is a  
fine piece of work1 ripe and serious in 
all respects4  ,may #ac1 #ahfi4--;,a    
break in the clouds1 and through the    
blue interstices a bright sun throws    
flickering and uncertain rays4 ,storms1 
smiles1 whims1 anger1 tears--it is ,may1
 and nature is in its feminine phase6   
,she pleases our fancy1 stirs our heart1
 and wears out our reason by the endless
 succession of her caprices and the     
unexpected violence of her whims4  ,this
 recalls to me the #bacth verse of the  
second book of the ,laws of ,manou4 8,it
 is in the nature of the feminine sex to

 seek here below to corrupt men1 and    
therefore wise men never abandon        
themselves to the seductions of women40 
,the same code1 however1 says3          
8,wherever women are honored the gods   
are satisfied40 ,and again3 8,in every  
family where the husband takes pleasure 
in his wife1 and the wife in her        
husband1 happiness is ensured40 ,and    
again3 8,one mother is more venerable   
than a thousand fathers40 ,but knowing  
what stormy and irrational elements     
there are in this fragile and delightful
 creature1 ,manou concludes3 8,at no age
 ought a woman to be allowed to govern  
herself as she pleases40  ,up to the    
present day1 in several contemporary and
 neighboring codes1 a woman is a minor  
all her life4 ,why8 ,because of her     
dependence upon nature1 and of her      
subjection to passions which are the    
diminutives of madness2 in other words1 
because the soul of a woman has         
something obscure and mysterious in it1 
which lends itself to all superstitions 

and weakens the energies of man4 ,to man
 belong law1 justice1 science1 and      
philosophy1 all that is disinterested1  
universal1 and rational4 ,women1 on the 
contrary1 introduce into everything     
favor1 exception1 and personal          
prejudice4 ,as soon as a man1 a people1 
a literature1 an epoch1 become feminine 
in type1 they sink in the scale of      
things4 ,as soon as a woman quits the   
state of subordination in which her     
merits have free play1 we see a rapid   
increase in her natural defects4        
,complete equality with man makes her   
quarrelsome2 a position of supremacy    
makes her tyrannical4 ,to honor her and 
to govern her will be for a long time   
yet the best solution4 ,when education  
has formed strong1 noble1 and serious   
women in whom conscience and reason hold
 sway over the effervescence of fancy   
and sentimentality1 then we shall be    
able not only to honor woman1 but to    
make a serious end of gaining her       
consent and adhesion4 ,then she will be 

truly an equal1 a work-fellow1 a        
companion4 ,at present she is so only in
 theory4 ,the moderns are at work upon  
the problem1 and have not solved it yet4
  ,june #ae1 #ahfi4--,the great defect  
of liberal ,christianity ,footnote3 ,at 
this period the controversy between the 
orthodox party and 8,liberal            
,christianity0 was at its height1 both  
in ,geneva and throughout ,switzerland4 
is that its conception of holiness is a 
frivolous one1 or1 what comes to the    
same thing1 its conception of sin is a  
superficial one4 ,the defects of the    
baser sort of political liberalism recur
 in liberal ,christianity2 it is only   
half serious1 and its theology is too   
much mixed with worldliness4 ,the       
sincerely pious folk look upon the      
liberals as persons whose talk is rather
 profane1 and who offend religious      
feelings by making sacred subjects a    
theme for rhetorical display4 ,they     
shock the convenances of sentiment1 and 
affront the delicacy of conscience by   

the indiscreet familiarities they take  
with the great mysteries of the inner   
life4 ,they seem to be mere clever      
special pleaders1 religious rhetoricians
 like the ,greek sophists1 rather than  
guides in the narrow road which leads to
 salvation4  ,it is not to the clever   
folk1 nor even to the scientific folk1  
that the empire over souls belongs1 but 
to those who impress us as having       
conquered nature by grace1 passed       
through the burning bush1 and as        
speaking1 not the language of human     
wisdom1 but that of the divine will4 ,in
 religious matters it is holiness which 
gives authority2 it is love1 or the     
power of devotion and sacrifice1 which  
goes to the heart1 which moves and      
persuades4  ,what all religious1        
poetical1 pure1 and tender souls are    
least able to pardon is the diminution  
or degradation of their ideal4 ,we must 
never rouse an ideal against us2 our    
business is to point men to another     
ideal1 purer1 higher1 more spiritual    

than the old1 and so to raise behind a  
lofty summit one more lofty still4 ,in  
this way no one is despoiled2 we gain   
men's confidence1 while at the same time
 forcing them to think1 and enabling    
those minds which are already tending   
toward change to perceive new objects   
and goals for thought4 ,only that which 
is replaced is destroyed1 and an ideal  
is only replaced by satisfying the      
conditions of the old with some         
advantages over4  ,let the liberal      
,protestants offer us a spectacle of    
,christian virtue of a holier1 intenser1
 and more intimate kind than before2 let
 us see it active in their persons and  
in their influence1 and they will have  
furnished the proof demanded by the     
,master2 the tree will be judged by its 
fruits4         99       99       99    
99       99  ,june #bb1 #ahfi 7,nine ,a4
 ,m74--,gray and lowering weather4 ,a   
fly lies dead of cold on the page of my 
book1 in full summer6 ,what is life8 ,i 
said to myself1 as ,i looked at the tiny

 dead creature4 ,it is a loan1 as       
movement is4 ,the universal life is a   
sum total1 of which the units are       
visible here1 there1 and everywhere1    
just as an electric wheel throws off    
sparks along its whole surface4 ,life   
passes through us2 we do not possess it4
 ,hirn admits three ultimate principles3
 ,footnote3 ,gustave-,adolphe ,hirn1 a  
,french physicist1 born near ,colmar1   
#ahae1 became a corresponding member of 
the ,academy of ,sciences in #ahfg4 ,the
 book of his to which ,amiel refers is  
no doubt ,consquences philosophiques at 
mtaphysiques de la thermodynamique1     
,analyse lmentaire de l'univers 7#ahfi74
 the atom1 the force1 the soul2 the     
force which acts upon atoms1 the soul   
which acts upon force4 ,probably he     
distinguishes between anonymous souls   
and personal souls4 ,then my fly would  
be an anonymous soul4  7,same           
day74--,the national churches are all up
 in arms against so-called ,liberal     
,christianity2 ,basle and ,zurich began 

the fight1 and now ,geneva has entered  
the lists too4 ,gradually it is becoming
 plain that historical ,protestantism   
has no longer a raison d'tre between    
pure liberty and pure authority4 ,it is1
 in fact1 a provisional stage1 founded  
on the worship of the ,bible--that is to
 say1 on the idea of a written          
revelation1 and of a book divinely      
inspired1 and therefore authoritative4  
,when once this thesis has been         
relegated to the rank of a fiction      
,protestantism crumbles away4 ,there is 
nothing for it but to retire up on      
natural religion1 or the religion of the
 moral consciousness4 ,m4,m4 ,rville1   
,conquerel1 ,fontanes1 ,buisson1        
,footnote3 ,the name of ,m4 ,albert     
,rville1 the ,french ,protestant        
theologian1 is more or less familiar in 
,england1 especially since his delivery 
of the ,hibbert lectures in #ahhd4      
,athanase ,coquerel1 born #ahbj1 died   
#ahgf1 the well-known champion of       
liberal ideas in the ,french ,protestant

 ,church1 was suspended from his        
pastoral functions by the ,consistory of
 ,paris1 on account of his review of ,m4
 ,renan's 8,vie de ,jsus0 in #ahfd4     
,ferdinand-,edouard ,buisson1 a liberal 
,protestant1 originally a professor at  
,lausanne1 was raised to the important  
function of ,director of ,primary       
,instruction by ,m4 ,ferry in #ahgi4 ,he
 was denounced by ,bishop ,dupanloup1 in
 the ,national ,assembly of #ahga1 as   
the author of certain liberal pamphlets 
on the dangers connected with           
,scripture-teaching in schools1 and1 for
 the time1 lost his employment under the
 ,ministry of ,education4 accept this   
logical outcome4 ,they are the          
advance-guard of ,protestantism and the 
laggards of free thought4  ,their       
mistake is not seeing that all          
institutions rest upon a legal fiction1 
and that every living thing involves a  
logical absurdity4 ,it may be logical to
 demand a church based on free          
examination and absolute sincerity2 but 

to realize it is a different matter4 ,a 
church lives by what is positive1 and   
this positive element necessarily limits
 investigation4 ,people confound the    
right of the individual1 which is to be 
free1 with the duty of the institution1 
which is to be something4 ,they take the
 principle of science to be the same as 
the principle of the church1 which is a 
mistake4 ,they will not see that        
religion is different from philosophy1  
and that the one seeks union by faith1  
while the other upholds the solitary    
independence of thought4 ,that the bread
 should be good it must have leaven2 but
 the leaven is not the bread4 ,liberty  
is the means whereby we arrive at an    
enlightened faith--granted2 but an      
assembly of people agreeing only upon   
this criterion and this method could not
 possibly found a church1 for they might
 differ completely as to the results of 
the method4 ,suppose a newspaper the    
writers of which were of all possible   
parties--it would no doubt be a         

curiosity in journalism1 but it would   
have no opinions1 no faith1 no creed4 ,a
 drawing-room filled with refined       
people1 carrying on polite discussion1  
is not a church1 and a dispute1 however 
courteous1 is not worship4 ,it is a mere
 confusion of kinds4  ,july #ac1        
#ahfi4--,lamennais1 ,heine--the one the 
victim of a mistaken vocation1 the other
 of a tormenting craving to astonish and
 mystify his kind4 ,the first was       
wanting in common sense2 the second was 
wanting in seriousness4 ,the ,frenchman 
was violent1 arbitrary1 domineering2 the
 ,german was a jesting ,mephistopheles1 
with a horror of ,philistinism4 ,the    
,breton was all passion and melancholy2 
the ,hamburger all fancy and satire4    
,neither developed freely nor normally4 
,both of them1 because of an initial    
mistake1 threw themselves into an       
endless quarrel with the world4 ,both   
were revolutionists4 ,they were not     
fighting for the good cause1 for        
impersonal truth2 both were rather the  

champions of their own pride4 ,both     
suffered greatly1 and died isolated1    
repudiated1 and reviled4 ,men of        
magnificent talents1 both of them1 but  
men of small wisdom1 who did more harm  
than good to themselves and to others6  
,it is a lamentable existence which     
wears itself out in maintaining a first 
antagonism1 or a first blunder4 ,the    
greater a man's intellectual power1 the 
more dangerous is it for him to make a  
false start and to begin life badly4    
,july #bj1 #ahfi4--;,i have been reading
 over again five or six chapters1 here  
and there1 of ,renan's 8,st4 ,paul40    
,analyzed to the bottom1 the writer is a
 freethinker1 but a free thinker whose  
flexible imagination still allows him   
the delicate epicurism of religious     
emotion4 ,in his eyes the man who will  
not lend himself to these graceful      
fancies is vulgar1 and the man who takes
 them seriously is prejudiced4 ,he is   
entertained by the variations of        
conscience1 but he is too clever to     

laugh at them4 ,the true critic neither 
concludes nor excludes2 his pleasure is 
to understand without believing1 and to 
profit by the results of enthusiasm1    
while still maintaining a free mind1    
unembarrassed by illusion4 ,such a mode 
of proceeding has a look of dishonesty2 
it is nothing1 however1 but the         
good-tempered irony of a                
highly-cultivated mind1 which will      
neither be ignorant of anything nor     
duped by anything4 ,it is the           
dilettantism of the ,renaissance in its 
perfection4 ,at the same time what      
innumerable proofs of insight and of    
exultant scientific power6  ,august #ad1
 #ahfi4--;,in the name of heaven1 who   
art thou8 what wilt thou--wavering      
inconstant creature8 ,what future lies  
before thee8 ,what duty or what hope    
appeals to thee8  ,my longing1 my search
 is for love1 for peace1 for something  
to fill my heart2 an idea to defend2 a  
work to which ,i might devote the rest  
of my strength2 an affection which might

 quench this inner thirst2 a cause for  
which ,i might die with joy4 ,but shall 
,i ever find them8 ,i long for all that 
is impossible and inaccessible3 for true
 religion1 serious sympathy1 the ideal  
life2 for paradise1 immortality1        
holiness1 faith1 inspiration1 and ,i    
know not what besides6 ,what ,i really  
want is to die and to be born again1    
transformed myself1 and in a different  
world4 ,and ,i can neither stifle these 
aspirations nor deceive myself as to the
 possibility of satisfying them4 ,i seem
 condemned to roll forever the rock of  
,sisyphus1 and to feel that slow wearing
 away of the mind which befalls the man 
whose vocation and destiny are in       
perpetual conflict4 8,a ,christian heart
 and a pagan head10 like ,jacobi2       
tenderness and pride2 width of mind and 
feebleness of will2 the two men of ,st4 
,paul2 a seething chaos of contrasts1   
antinomies1 and contradictions2 humility
 and pride2 childish simplicity and     
boundless mistrust2 analysis and        

intuition2 patience and irritability2   
kindness and dryness of heart2          
carelessness and anxiety2 enthusiasm and
 languor2 indifference and passion2     
altogether a being incomprehensible and 
intolerable to myself and to others6    
,then from a state of conflict ,i fall  
back into the fluid1 vague1             
indeterminate state1 which feels all    
form to be a mere violence and          
disfigurement4 ,all ideas1 principles1  
acquirements1 and habits are effaced in 
me like the ripples on a wave1 like the 
convolutions of a cloud4 ,my personality
 has the least possible admixture of    
individuality4 ,i am to the great       
majority of men what the circle is to   
rectilinear figures2 ,i am everywhere at
 home1 because ,i have no particular and
 nominative self4 ,perhaps1 on the      
whole1 this defect has good in it4      
,though ,i am less of a man1 ,i am      
perhaps nearer to the man2 perhaps      
rather more man4 ,there is less of the  
individual1 but more of the species1 in 

me4 ,my nature1 which is absolutely     
unsuited for practical life1 shows great
 aptitude for psychological study4 ,it  
prevents me from taking sides1 but it   
allows me to understand all sides4 ,it  
is not only indolence which prevents me 
from drawing conclusions2 it is a sort  
of a secret aversion to all intellectual
 proscription4 ,i have a feeling that   
something of everything is wanted to    
make a world1 that all citizens have a  
right in the state1 and that if every   
opinion is equally insignificant in     
itself1 all opinions have some hold upon
 truth4 ,to live and let live1 think and
 let think1 are maxims which are equally
 dear to me4 ,my tendency is always to  
the whole1 to the totality1 to the      
general balance of things4 ,what is     
difficult to me is to exclude1 to       
condemn1 to say no2 except1 indeed1 in  
the presence of the exclusive4 ,i am    
always fighting for the absent1 for the 
defeated cause1 for that portion of     
truth which seems to me neglected2 my   

aim is to complete every thesis1 to see 
round every problem1 to study a thing   
from all its possible sides4 ,is this   
skepticism8 ,yes1 in its result1 but not
 in its purpose4 ,it is rather the sense
 of the absolute and the infinite       
reducing to their proper value and      
relegating to their proper place the    
finite and the relative4 ,but here1 in  
the same way1 my ambition is greater    
than my power2 my philosophical         
perception is superior to my speculative
 gift4 ,i have not the energy of my     
opinions2 ,i have far greater width than
 inventiveness of thought1 and1 from    
timidity1 ,i have allowed the critical  
intelligence in me to swallow up the    
creative genius4 ,is it indeed from     
timidity8  ,alas6 with a little more    
ambition1 or a little more good luck1 a 
different man might have been made out  
of me1 and such as my youth gave promise
 of4  ,august #af1 #ahfi4--;,i have been
 thinking over ,schopenhauer4 ,it has   
struck me and almost terrified me to see

 how well ,i represent ,schopenhauer's  
typical man1 for whom 8happiness is a   
chimera and suffering a reality10  for  
whom 8the negation of will and of desire
 is the only road to deliverance10 and  
8the individual life is a misfortune    
from which impersonal contemplation is  
the only enfranchisement10 etc4 ,but the
 principle that life is an evil and     
annihilation a good lies at the root of 
the system1 and this axiom ,i have never
 dared to enunciate in any general way1 
although ,i have admitted it here and   
there in individual cases4 ,what ,i     
still like in the misanthrope of        
,frankfort1 is his antipathy to current 
prejudice1 to ,european hobbies1 to     
western hypocrisies1 to the successes of
 the day4 ,schopenhauer is a man of     
powerful mind1 who has put away from him
 all illusions1 who professes ,buddhism 
in the full flow of modern ,germany1 and
 absolute detachment of mind ,in the    
very midst of the nineteenth-century    
orgie4 ,his great defects are barrenness

 of soul1 a proud and perfect           
selfishness1 an adoration of genius     
which is combined with complete         
indifference to the rest of the world1  
in spite of all his teaching of         
resignation and sacrifice4 ,he has no   
sympathy1 no humanity1 no love4 ,and    
here ,i recognize the unlikeness between
 us4 ,pure intelligence and solitary    
labor might easily lead me to his point 
of view2 but once appeal to the heart1  
and ,i feel the contemplative attitude  
untenable4 ,pity1 goodness1 charity1 and
 devotion reclaim their rights1 and     
insist even upon the first place4       
,august #bi1 #ahfi4--,schopenhauer      
preaches impersonality1 objectivity1    
pure contemplation1 the negation of     
will1 calmness1 and disinterestedness1  
an aesthetic study of the world1        
detachment from life1 the renunciation  
of all desire1 solitary meditation1     
disdain of the crowd1 and indifference  
to all that the vulgar covet4 ,he       
approves all my defects1 my             

childishness1 my aversion to practical  
life1 my antipathy to the utilitarians1 
my distrust of all desire4 ,in a word1  
he flatters all my instincts2 he        
caresses and justifies them4  ,this     
pre-established harmony between the     
theory of ,schopenhauer and my own      
natural man causes me pleasure mingled  
with terror4 ,i might indulge myself in 
the pleasure1 but that ,i fear to delude
 and stifle conscience4 ,besides1 ,i    
feel that goodness has no tolerance for 
this contemplative indifference1 and    
that virtue consists in self-conquest4  
,august #cj1 #ahfi4--,still some        
chapters of ,schopenhauer4 ,schopenhauer
 believes in the unchangeableness of    
innate tendencies in the individual1 and
 in the invariability of the primitive  
disposition4 ,he refuses to believe in  
the new man1 in any real progress toward
 perfection1 or in any positive         
improvement in a human being4 ,only the 
appearances are refined2 there is no    
change below the surface4 ,perhaps he   

confuses temperament1 character1 and    
individuality8 ,i incline to think that 
individuality is fatal and primitive1   
that temperament reaches far back1 but  
is alternable1 and that character is    
more recent and susceptible of voluntary
 or involuntary modifications4          
,individuality is a matter of           
psychology1 temperament1 a matter of    
sensation or aesthetics2 character alone
 is a matter of morals4 ,liberty and the
 use of it count for nothing in the     
first two elements of our being2        
character is a historical fruit1 and the
 result of a man's biography4 ,for      
,schopenhauer1 character is identified  
with temperament just as will with      
passion4 ,in short1 he simplifies too   
much1 and looks at man from that more   
elementary point of view which is only  
sufficient in the case of the animal4   
,that spontaneity which is vital or     
merely chemical he already calls will4  
,analogy is not equation2 a comparison  
is not reason2 similes and parables are 

not exact language4 ,many of            
,schopenhauer's originalities evaporate 
when we come to translate them into a   
more close and precise terminology4     
,later4--,one has merely to turn over   
the 8,lichtstrahlem0 of ,herder to feel 
the difference between him and          
,schopenhauer4 ,the latter is full of   
marked features and of observations     
which stand out from the page and leave 
a clear and vivid impression4 ,herder is
 much less of a writer2 his ideas are   
entangled in his style1 and he has no   
brilliant condensations1 no jewels1 no  
crystals4 ,while he proceeds by streams 
and sheets of thought which have no     
definite or individual outline1         
,schopenhauer breaks the current of his 
speculation with islands1 striking1     
original1 and picturesque1 which engrave
 themselves in the memory4 ,it is the   
same difference as there is between     
,nicole and ,pascal1 between ,bayle and 
,satin-,simon4  ,what is the faculty    
which gives relief1 brilliancy1 and     

incisiveness to thought8 ,imagination4  
,under its influence expression becomes 
concentrated1 colored1 and strengthened1
 and by the power it has of             
individualizing all it touches1 it gives
 life and permanence to the material on 
which it works4 ,a writer of genius     
changes sand into glass and glass into  
crystal1 ore into iron and iron into    
steel2 he marks with his own stamp every
 idea he gets hold of4 ,he borrows much 
from the common stock1 and gives back   
nothing2 but even his robberies are     
willingly reckoned to him as private    
property4 ,he has1 as it were1 carte    
blanche1 and public opinion allows him  
to take what he will4  ,august #ca1     
#ahfi4--;,i have finished ,schopenhauer4
 ,my mind has been a tumult of opposing 
systems--,stoicism1 ,quietism1          
,buddhism1 ,christianity4 ,shall ,i     
never be at peace with myself8 ,if      
impersonality is a good1 why am ,i not  
consistent in the pursuit of it8 and if 
it is a temptation1 why return to it1   

after having judged and conquered it8   
,is happiness anything more than a      
conventional fiction8 ,the deepest      
reason for my state of doubt is that the
 supreme end and aim of life seems to me
 a mere lure and deception4 ,the        
individual is an eternal dupe1 who never
 obtains what he seeks1 and who is      
forever deceived by hope4 ,my instinct  
is in harmony with the pessimism of     
,buddha and of ,schopenhauer4 ,it is a  
doubt which never leaves me even in my  
moments of religious fervor4 ,nature is 
indeed for me a ,maa2 and ,i look at    
her1 as it were1 with the eyes of an    
artist4 ,my intelligence remains        
skeptical4 ,what1 then1 do ,i believe   
in8 ,i do not know4 ,and what is it ,i  
hope for8 ,it would be difficult to say4
 ,folly6 ,i believe in goodness1 and ,i 
hope that good will prevail4 ,deep      
within this ironical and disappointed   
being of mine there is a child hidden--a
 frank1 sad1 simple creature1 who       
believes in the ideal1 in love1 in      

holiness1 and all heavenly              
superstitions4 ,a whole millennium of   
idylls sleeps in my heart2 ,i am a      
pseudo-skeptic1 a pseudo-scoffer4       
8,born dans sa nature1 infini dans ses  
voeux1   ,l'homme est un dieu tomb qui  
se souvient des cieux40  ,october #ad1  
#ahfi4--,yesterday1 ,wednesday1 death of
 ,sainte-,beuve4 ,what a loss6  ,october
 #af1 #ahfi4--,laboremus seems to have  
been the motto of ,sainte-,beuve1 as it 
was that of ,septimius ,severus4 ,he    
died in harness1 and up to the evening  
before his last day he still wrote1     
overcoming the sufferings of the body by
 the energy of the mind4 ,to-day1 at    
this very moment1 they are laying him in
 the bosom of mother earth4 ,he refused 
the sacraments of the church2 he never  
belonged to any confession2 he was one  
of the 8great diocese0--that of the     
independent seekers of truth1 and he    
allowed himself no final moment of      
hypocrisy4 ,he would have nothing to do 
with any one except ,god only--or rather

 the mysterious ,isis beyond the veil4  
,being unmarried1 he died in the arms of
 his secretary4 ,he was sixty-five years
 old4 ,his power of work and of memory  
was immense and intact4 ,what is        
,scherer thinking about this life and   
this death8  ,october #ai1 #ahfi4--;,an 
admirable article by ,edmond ,scherer on
 ,sainte-,beuve in the ,temps4 ,he makes
 him the prince of ,french critics and  
the last representative of the epoch of 
literary taste1 the future belonging to 
the bookmakers and the chatterers1 to   
mediocrity and to violence4 ,the article
 breathes a certain manly melancholy1   
befitting a funeral oration over one who
 was a master in the things of the mind4
 ,the fact is1 that ,sainte-,beuve      
leaves a greater void behind him than   
either ,branger or ,lamartine2 their    
greatness was already distant1          
historical2 he was still helping us to  
think4 ,the true critic acts as a       
fulcrum for all the world4 ,he          
represents the public judgment1 that is 

to say the public reason1 the           
touchstone1 the scales1 the refining    
rod1 which tests the value of every one 
and the merit of every work4            
,infallibility of judgment is perhaps   
rarer than anything else1 so fine a     
balance of qualities does it            
demand--qualities both natural and      
acquired1 qualities of mind and heart4  
,what years of labor1 what study and    
comparison1 are needed to bring the     
critical judgment to maturity6 ,like    
,plato's sage1 it is only at fifty that 
the critic rises to the true height of  
his literary priesthood1 or1 to put it  
less pompously1 of his social function4 
,by then only can he hope for insight   
into all the modes of being1 and for    
mastery of all possible shades of       
appreciation4 ,and ,sainte-,beuve joined
 to this infinitely refined culture a   
prodigious memory1 and an incredible    
multitude of facts and anecdotes stored 
up for the service of his thought4      
,december #h1 #ahfi4--;,everything has  

chilled me this morning2 the cold of the
 season1 the physical immobility around 
me1 but1 above all1 ,hartman's          
8,philosophy of the ,unconscious40 ,this
 book lays down the terrible thesis that
 creation is a mistake2 being1 such as  
it is1 is not as good as non-being1 and 
death is better than life4  ,i felt the 
same mournful impression that ,obermann 
left upon me in my youth4 ,the black    
melancholy of ,buddhism encompassed and 
overshadowed me4 ,if1 in fact1 it is    
only illusion which hides from us the   
horror of existence and makes life      
tolerable to us1 then existence is a    
snare and life an evil4 ,like the ,greek
 ,annikeris1 we ought to counsel        
suicide1 or rather with ,buddha and     
,schopenhauer we ought to labor for the 
radical extirpation of hope and         
desire--the causes of life and          
resurrection4 ,not to rise again2 there 
is the point1 and there is the          
difficulty4 ,death is simply a beginning
 again1 whereas it is annihilation that 

we have to aim at4 ,personal            
consciousness being the root of all our 
troubles1 we ought to avoid the         
temptation to it and the possibility of 
it as diabolical and abominable4 ,what  
blasphemy6 ,and yet it is all logical2  
it is the philosophy of happiness       
carried to its farthest point4          
,epicurism must end in despair4 ,the    
philosophy of duty is less depressing4  
,but salvation lies in the conciliation 
of duty and happiness1 in the union of  
the individual will with the divine     
will1 and in the faith that this supreme
 will is directed by love4         99   
99       99       99       99  ,it is as
 true that real happiness is good1 as   
that the good become better under the   
purification of trial4 ,those who have  
not suffered are still wanting in depth2
 but a man who has not got happiness    
cannot impart it4 ,we can only give what
 we have4 ,happiness1 grief1 gayety1    
sadness1 are by nature contagious4      
,bring your health and your strength to 

the weak and sickly1 and so you will be 
of use to them4 ,give them1 not your    
weakness1 but your energy1 so you will  
revive and lift them up4 ,life alone can
 rekindle life4 ,what others claim from 
us is not our thirst and our hunger1 but
 our bread and our gourd4  ,the         
benefactors of humanity are those who   
have thought great thoughts about her2  
but her masters and her idols are those 
who have flattered and despised her1    
those who have muzzled and massacred    
her1 inflamed her with fanaticism or    
used her for selfish purposes4 ,her     
benefactors are the poets1 the artists1 
the inventors1 the apostles and all pure
 hearts4 ,her masters are the ,caesars1 
the ,constantines1 the ,gregory         
,,vii4's1 the ,innocent ,,iii4's1 the   
,borgias1 the ,napoleons4         99    
99       99       99       99  ,every   
civilization is1 as it were1 a dream of 
a thousand years1 in which heaven and   
earth1 nature and history1 appear to men
 illumined by fantastic light and       

representing a drama which is nothing   
but a projection of the soul itself1    
influenced by some intoxication--,i was 
going to say hallucination--or other4   
,those who are widest awake still see   
the real world across the dominant      
illusion of their race or time4 ,and the
 reason is that the deceiving light     
starts from our own mind3 the light is  
our religion4 ,everything changes with  
it4 ,it is religion which gives to our  
kaleidoscope1 if not the material of the
 figures1 at least their color1 their   
light and shade1 and general aspect4    
,every religion makes men see the world 
and humanity under a special light2 it  
is a mode of apperception1 which can    
only be scientifically handled when we  
have cast it aside1 and can only be     
judged when we have replaced it by a    
better4         99       99       99    
99       99  ,february #bc1             
#ahgj4--,there is in man an instinct of 
revolt1 an enemy of all law1 a rebel    
which will stoop to no yoke1 not even   

that of reason1 duty1 and wisdom4 ,this 
element in us is the root of all        
sin--das radicale ,bse of ,kant4 ,the   
independence which is the condition of  
individuality is at the same time the   
eternal temptation of the individual4   
,that which makes us beings makes us    
also sinners4  ,sin is1 then1 in our    
very marrow4 ,it circulates in us like  
the blood in our veins1 it is mingled   
with all our substance1 ,footnote3 ,this
 is one of the passages which rouses ,m4
 ,renan's wonder3 8,voila la grande     
difference10 he writes1 8entre          
l'ducation catholique et l'ducation     
protestante4 ,ceux qui comme moi ont reu
 une ducation catholique en ont gard de 
profonds vestiges4 ,mais ces vestiges ne
 sont pas des dogmes1 ce sont des rves4 
,une fois ce grand rideau de drap d'or1 
bariol de soie1 d'indienne et de        
calicot1 par lequel le catholicisme nous
 masque la vue du monde1 une fois1      
dis-je ce rideau dchir1 on voit         
l'univers en sa splendeur infinie1 la   

nature en sa haute et pleine majest4 ,le
 protestant le plus libre garde souvent 
quelque chose de triste1 un fond        
d'austrit intellectuelle analogue au    
pessimisme slave40--7,journal des       
,dbats1 ,september #cj1 #ahhd74  ,one is
 reminded of ,mr4 ,morley's criticism of
 ,emerson4 ,emerson1 he points out1 has 
almost nothing to say of death1 and     
8little to say of that horrid burden and
 impediment on the soul which the       
churches call sin1 and which1 by        
whatever name we call it1 is a very real
 catastrophe in the moral nature of     
man--the courses of nature1 and the     
prodigious injustices of mail in society
 affect him with neither horror nor awe4
 ,he will see no monster if he can help 
it40  ,here1 then1 we have the eternal  
difference between the two orders of    
temperament--the men whose overflowing  
energy forbids them to realize the      
ever-recurring defeat of the human      
spirit at the hands of circumstance1    
like ,renan and ,emerson1 and the men   

for whom 8horror and awe0 are interwoven
 with experience1 like ,amiel4 ,or      
rather ,i am wrong3 temptation is our   
natural state1 but sin is not necessary4
 ,sin consists in the voluntary         
confusion of the independence which is  
good with the independence which is bad2
 it is caused by the half-indulgence    
granted to a first sophism4 ,we shut our
 eyes to the beginnings of evil because 
they are small1 and in this weakness is 
contained the germ of our defeat4       
,principiis obsta--this maxim dutifully 
followed would preserve us from almost  
all our catastrophes4  ,we will have no 
other master but our caprice--that is to
 say1 our evil self will have no ,god1  
and the foundation of our nature is     
seditious1 impious1 insolent1           
refractory1 opposed to1 and contemptuous
 of all that tries to rule it1 and      
therefore contrary to order1            
ungovernable and negative4 ,it is this  
foundation which ,christianity calls the
 natural man4 ,but the savage which is  

within us1 and constitutes the primitive
 stuff of us1 must be disciplined and   
civilized in order to produce a man4    
,and the man must be patiently          
cultivated to produce a wise man1 and   
the wise man must be tested and tried if
 he is to become righteous4 ,and the    
righteous man must have substituted the 
will of ,god for his individual will1 if
 he is to become a saint4 ,and this new 
man1 this regenerate being1 is the      
spiritual man1 the heavenly man1 of     
which the ,vedas speak as well as the   
gospel1 and the ,magi as well as the    
,neo-,platonists4  ,march #ag1          
#ahgj4--,this morning the music of a    
brass band which had stopped under my   
windows moved me almost to tears4 ,it   
exercised an indefinable1 nostalgic     
power over me2 it set me dreaming of    
another world1 of infinite passion and  
supreme happiness4 ,such impressions are
 the echoes of paradise in the soul2    
memories of ideal spheres1 whose sad    
sweetness ravishes and intoxicates the  

heart4 ,o ,plato6 ,o ,pythagoras6 ages  
ago you heard these harmonies--surprised
 these moments of inward ecstacy--knew  
these divine transports6 ,if music thus 
carries us to heaven1 it is because     
music is harmony1 harmony is perfection1
 perfection is our dream1 and our dream 
is heaven4 ,this world of quarrels and  
bitterness1 of selfishness1 ugliness1   
and misery1 makes us long involuntarily 
for the eternal peace1 for the adoration
 which has no limits1 and the love which
 has no end4 ,it is not so much the     
infinite as the beautiful that we yearn 
for4 ,it is not being1 or the limits of 
being1 which weigh upon us2 it is evil1 
in us and without us4 ,it is not all    
necessary to be great1 so long as we are
 in harmony with the order of the       
universe4 ,moral ambition has no pride2 
it only desires to fill its place1 and  
make its note duly heard in the         
universal concert of the ,god of love4  
,march #cj1 #ahgj4--;,certainly1 nature 
is unjust and shameless1 without        

probity1 and without faith4 ,her only   
alternatives are gratuitous favor or mad
 aversion1 and her only way of          
redressing an injustice is to commit    
another4 ,the happiness of the few is   
expiated by the misery of the greater   
number4 ,it is useless to accuse a blind
 force4  ,the human conscience1 however1
 revolts against this law of nature1 and
 to satisfy its own instinct of justice 
it has imagined two hypotheses1 out of  
which it has made for itself a          
religion--the idea of an individual     
providence1 and the hypothesis of       
another life4  ,in these we have a      
protest against nature1 which is thus   
declared immoral and scandalous to the  
moral sense4 ,man believes in good1 and 
that he may ground himself on justice he
 maintains that the injustice all around
 him is but an appearance1 a mystery1 a 
cheat1 and that justice will be done4   
,fiat justitia1 pereal mundus6  ,it is a
 great act of faith4 ,and since humanity
 has not made itself1 this protest has  

some chance of expressing a truth4 ,if  
there is conflict between the natural   
world and the moral world1 between      
reality and conscience1 conscience must 
be right4  ,it is by no means necessary 
that the universe should exist1 but it  
is necessary that justice should be     
done1 and atheism is bound to explain   
the fixed obstinacy of conscience on    
this point4 ,nature is not just2 we are 
the products of nature3 why are we      
always claiming and prophesying justice8
 why does the effect rise up against its
 cause8 ,it is a singular phenomenon4   
,does the protest come from any puerile 
blindness of human vanity8 ,no1 it is   
the deepest cry of our being1 and it is 
for the honor of ,god that the cry is   
uttered4 ,heaven and earth may pass     
away1 but good ought to be1 and         
injustice ought not to be4 ,such is the 
creed of the human race4 ,nature will be
 conquered by spirit2 the eternal will  
triumph over time4  ,april #a1          
#ahgj4--;,i am inclined to believe that 

for a woman love is the supreme         
authority--that which judges the rest   
and decides what is good or evil4 ,for a
 man1 love is subordinate to right4 ,it 
is a great passion1 but it is not the   
source of order1 the synonym of reason1 
the criterion of excellence4 ,it would  
seem1 then1 that a woman places her     
ideal in the perfection of love1 and a  
man in the perfection of justice4 ,it   
was in this sense that ,st4 ,paul was   
able to say1 8,the woman is the glory of
 the man1 and the man is the glory of   
,god40 ,thus the woman who absorbs      
herself in the object of her love is1 so
 to speak1 in the line of nature2 she is
 truly woman1 she realizes her          
fundamental type4 ,on the contrary1 the 
man who should make life consist in     
conjugal adoration1 and who should      
imagine that he has lived sufficiently  
when he has made himself the priest of a
 beloved woman1 such a one is but half a
 man2 he is despised by the world1 and  
perhaps secretly disdained by women     

themselves4 ,the woman who loves truly  
seeks to merge her own individuality in 
that of the man she loves4 ,she desires 
that her love should make him greater1  
stronger1 more masculine1 and more      
active4 ,thus each sex plays its        
appointed part3 the woman is first      
destined for man1 and man is destined   
for society4 ,woman owes herself to one1
 man owes himself to all2 and each      
obtains peace and happiness only when he
 or she has recognized this law and     
accepted this balance of things4 ,the   
same thing may be a good in the woman   
and an evil in the man1 may be strength 
in her1 weakness in him4  ,there is then
 a feminine and a masculine             
morality--preparatory chapters1 as it   
were1 to a general human morality4      
,below the virtue which is evangelical  
and sexless1 there is a virtue of sex4  
,and this virtue of sex is the occasion 
of mutual teaching1 for each of the two 
incarnations of virtue makes it its     
business to convert the other1 the first

 preaching love in the ears of justice1 
the second justice in the ears of love4 
,and so there is produced an oscillation
 and an average which represent a social
 state1 an epoch1 sometimes a whole     
civilization4  ,such at least is our    
,european idea of the harmony of the    
sexes in a graduated order of functions4
 ,america is on the road to             
revolutionize this ideal by the         
introduction of the democratic principle
 of the equality of individuals in a    
general equality of functions4 ,only1   
when there is nothing left but a        
multitude of equal individualities1     
neither young nor old1 neither men nor  
women1 neither benefited nor            
benefactors--all social difference will 
turn upon money4 ,the whole hierarchy   
will rest upon the dollar1 and the most 
brutal1 the most hideous1 the most      
inhuman of inequalities will be the     
fruit of the passion for equality4 ,what
 a result6 ,plutolatry--the worship of  
wealth1 the madness of gold--to it will 

be confided the task of chastising a    
false principle and its followers4 ,and 
plutocracy will be in its turn executed 
by equality4 ,it would be a strange end 
for it1 if ,anglo-,saxon individualism  
were ultimately swallowed up in ,latin  
socialism4  ,it is my prayer that the   
discovery of an equilibrium between the 
two principles may be made in time1     
before the social war1 with all its     
terror and ruin1 overtakes us4 ,but it  
is scarcely likely4 ,the masses are     
always ignorant and limited1 and only   
advance by a succession of contrary     
errors4 ,they reach good only by the    
exhaustion of evil4 ,they discover the  
way out1 only after having run their    
heads against all other possible issues4
  ,april #ae1 #ahgj4--;,crucifixion6    
,that is the word we have to meditate   
to-day4 ,is it not ,good ,friday8  ,to  
curse grief is easier than to bless it1 
but to do so is to fall back into the   
point of view of the earthly1 the       
carnal1 the natural man4 ,by what has   

,christianity subdued the world if not  
by the apotheosis of grief1 by its      
marvelous transmutation of suffering    
into triumph1 of the crown of thorns    
into the crown of glory1 and of a gibbet
 into a symbol of salvation8 ,what does 
the apotheosis of the ,cross mean1 if   
not the death of death1 the defeat of   
sin1 the beatification of martyrdom1 the
 raising to the skies of voluntary      
sacrifice1 the defiance of pain8 8,o    
,death1 where is thy sting8 ,o ,grave1  
where is thy victory80 ,by long brooding
 over this theme--the agony of the just1
 peace in the midst of agony1 and the   
heavenly beauty of such peace--humanity 
came to understand that a new religion  
was born--a new mode1 that is to say1 of
 explaining life and of understanding   
suffering4  ,suffering was a curse from 
which man fled2 now it becomes a        
purification of the soul1 a sacred trial
 sent by eternal love1 a divine         
dispensation meant to sanctify and      
ennoble us1 an acceptable aid to faith1 

a strange initiation into happiness4 ,o 
power of belief6 ,all remains the same1 
and yet all is changed4 ,a new certitude
 arises to deny the apparent and the    
tangible2 it pierces through the mystery
 of things1 it places an invisible      
,father behind visible nature1 it shows 
us joy shining through tears1 and makes 
of pain the beginning of joy4  ,and so1 
for those who have believed1 the tomb   
becomes heaven1 and on the funeral pyre 
of life they sing the hosanna of        
immortality2 a sacred madness has       
renewed the face of the world for them1 
and when they wish to explain what they 
feel1 their ecstasy makes them          
incomprehensible2 they speak with       
tongues4 ,a wild intoxication of        
self-sacrifice1 contempt for death1 the 
thirst for eternity1 the delirium of    
love--these are what the unalterable    
gentleness of the ,crucified has had    
power to bring forth4 ,by his pardon of 
his executioners1 and by that           
unconquerable sense in him of an        

indissoluble union with ,god1 ,jesus1 on
 his cross1 kindled an inextinguishable 
fire and revolutionized the world4 ,he  
proclaimed and realized salvation by    
faith in the infinite mercy1 and in the 
pardon granted to simple repentance4 ,by
 his saying1 8,there is more joy in     
heaven over one sinner that repenteth   
than over ninety and nine just persons  
who need no repentance10 he made        
humility the gate of entrance into      
paradise4  ,crucify the rebellious self1
 mortify yourself wholly1 give up all to
 ,god1 and the peace which is not of    
this world will descend upon you4 ,for  
eighteen centuries no grander word has  
been spoken2 and although humanity is   
forever seeking after a more exact and  
complete application of justice1 yet her
 secret faith is not in justice but in  
pardon1 for pardon alone conciliates the
 spotless purity of perfection with the 
infinite pity due to weakness--that is  
to say1 it alone preserves and defends  
the ,idea of holiness1 while it allows  

full scope to that of love4 ,the gospel 
proclaims the ineffable consolation1 the
 good news1 which disarms all earthly   
griefs1 and robs even death of its      
terrors--the news of irrevocable pardon1
 that is to say1 of eternal life4 ,the  
,cross is the guarantee of the gospel4  
,therefore it has been its standard4    
,may #g1 #ahgj4--,the faith which clings
 to its idols and resists all innovation
 is a retarding and conservative force2 
but it is the property of all religion  
to serve as a curb to our lawless       
passion for freedom1 and to steady and  
quiet our restlessness of temper4       
,curiosity is the expansive force1      
which1 if it were allowed an unchecked  
action upon us1 would disperse and      
volatilize us2 belief represents the    
force of gravitation and cohesion which 
makes separate bodies and individuals of
 us4 ,society lives by faith1 develops  
by science4 ,its basis then is the      
mysterious1 the unknown1 the            
intangible--religion--while the         

fermenting principle in it is the desire
 of knowledge4 ,its permanent substance 
is the uncomprehended or the divine2 its
 changing form is the result of its     
intellectual labor4 ,the unconscious    
adhesions1 the confused intuitions1 the 
obscure presentiments1 which decide the 
first faith of a people1 are then of    
capital importance in its history4 ,all 
history moves between the religion which
 is the genial instinctive and          
fundamental philosophy of a race1 and   
the philosophy which is the ultimate    
religion--the clear perception1 that is 
to say1 of those principles which have  
engendered the whole spiritual          
development of humanity4  ,it is always 
the same thing which is1 which was1 and 
which will be2 but this thing--the      
absolute--betrays with more or less     
transparency and profundity the law of  
its life and of its metamorphoses4 ,in  
its fixed aspect it is called ,god2 in  
its mobile aspect the world or nature4  
,god is present in nature1 but nature is

 not ,god2 there is a nature in ,god1   
but it is not ,god himself4 ,i am       
neither for immanence nor for           
transcendence taken alone4  ,may #i1    
#ahgj4--;,disraeli1 in his new novel1   
8,lothair10 shows that the two great    
forces of the present are ,revolution   
and ,catholicism1 and that the free     
nations are lost if either of these two 
forces triumphs4 ,it is exactly my own  
idea4 ,only1 while in ,france1 in       
,belgium1 in ,italy1 and in all         
,catholic societies1 it is only by      
checking one of these forces by the     
other that the state and civilization   
can be maintained1 the ,protestant      
countries are better off2 in them there 
is a third force1 a middle faith between
 the two other idolatries1 which enables
 them to regard liberty not as a        
neutralization of two contraries1 but as
 a moral reality1 self-subsistent1 and  
possessing its own center of gravity and
 motive force4 ,in the ,catholic world  
religion and liberty exclude each other4

 ,in the ,protestant world they accept  
each other1 so that in the second case  
there is a smaller waste of force4      
,liberty is the lay1 the philosophical  
principle4 ,it expresses the juridical  
and social aspiration of the race4 ,but 
as there is no society possible without 
regulation1 without control1 without    
limitations on individual liberty1 above
 all without moral limitations1 the     
peoples which are legally the freest do 
well to take their religious            
consciousness for check and ballast4 ,in
 mixed states1 ,catholic or             
free-thinking1 the limit of action1     
being a merely penal one1 invites       
incessant contravention4  ,the puerility
 of the freethinkers consists in        
believing that a free society can       
maintain itself and keep itself together
 without a common faith1 without a      
religious prejudice of some kind4 ,where
 lies the will of ,god8 ,is it the      
common reason which expresses it1 or    
rather1 are a clergy or a church the    

depositories of it8 ,so long as the     
response is ambiguous and equivocal in  
the eyes of half or the majority of     
consciences--and this is the case in all
 ,catholic states--public peace is      
impossible1 and public law is insecure4 
,if there is a ,god1 we must have him on
 our side1 and if there is not a ,god1  
it would be necessary first of all to   
convert everybody to the same idea of   
the lawful and the useful1 to           
reconstitute1 that is to say1 a lay     
religion1 before anything politically   
solid could be built4  ,liberalism is   
merely feeding upon abstractions1 when  
it persuades itself that liberty is     
possible without free individuals1 and  
when it will not recognize that liberty 
in the individual is the fruit of a     
foregoing education1 a moral education1 
which presupposes a liberating religion4
 ,to preach liberalism to a population  
jesuitized by education1 is to press the
 pleasures of dancing upon a man who has
 lost a leg4 ,how is it possible for a  

child who has never been out of         
swaddling clothes to walk8 ,how can the 
abdication of individual conscience lead
 to the government of individual        
conscience8 ,to be free1 is to guide    
one's self1 to have attained one's      
majority1 to be emancipated1 master of  
one's actions1 and judge of good and    
evil2 but ultramontane ,catholicism     
never emancipates its disciples1 who are
 bound to admit1 to believe1 and to     
obey1 as they are told1 because they are
 minors in perpetuity1 and the clergy   
alone possess the law of right1 the     
secret of justice1 and the measure of   
truth4 ,this is what men are landed in  
by the idea of an exterior revelation1  
cleverly made use of by a patient       
priesthood4  ,but what astonishes me is 
the short-sight of the statesmen of the 
south1 who do not see that the question 
of questions is the religious question1 
and even now do not recognize that a    
liberal state is wholly incompatible    
with an anti-liberal religion1 and      

almost equally incompatible with the    
absence of religion4 ,they confound     
accidental conquests and precarious     
progress with lasting results4  ,there  
is some probability that all this noise 
which is made nowadays about liberty may
 end in the suppression of liberty2 it  
is plain that the internationals1 the   
irreconcilables1 and the ultramontanes1 
are1 all three of them1 aiming at       
absolutism1 at dictatorial omnipotence4 
,happily they are not one but many1 and 
it will not be difficult to turn them   
against each other4  ,if liberty is to  
be saved1 it will not be by the         
doubters1 the men of science1 or the    
materialists2 it will be by religious   
conviction1 by the faith of individuals 
who believe that ,god wills man to be   
free but also pure2 it will be by the   
seekers after holiness1 by those        
old-fashioned pious persons who speak of
 immortality and eternal life1 and      
prefer the soul to the whole world2 it  
will be by the enfranchised children of 

the ancient faith of the human race4    
,june #e1 #ahgj4--,the efficacy of      
religion lies precisely in that which is
 not rational1 philosophic1 nor         
external2 its efficacy lies in the      
unforeseen1 the miraculous1 the         
extraordinary4 ,thus religion attracts  
more devotion in proportion as it       
demands more faith--that is to say1 as  
it becomes more incredible to the       
profane mind4 ,the philosopher aspires  
to explain away all mysteries1 to       
dissolve them into light4 ,it is        
mystery1 on the other hand1 which the   
religious instinct demands and pursues2 
it is mystery which constitutes the     
essence of worship1 the power of        
proselytism4 ,when the cross became the 
8foolishness0 of the cross1 it took     
possession of the masses4 ,and in our   
own day1 those who wish to get rid of   
the supernatural1 to enlighten religion1
 to economize faith1 find themselves    
deserted1 like poets who should declaim 
against poetry1 or women who should     

decry love4 ,faith consists in the      
acceptance of the incomprehensible1 and 
even in the pursuit of the impossible1  
and is self-intoxicated with its own    
sacrifices1 its own repeated            
extravagances4  ,it is the forgetfulness
 of this psychological law which        
stultifies the so-called liberal        
,christianity4 ,it is the realization of
 it which constitutes the strength of   
,catholicism4  ,apparently no positive  
religion can survive the supernatural   
element which is the reason for its     
existence4 ,natural religion seems to be
 the tomb of all historic cults4 ,all   
concrete religions die eventually in the
 pure air of philosophy4 ,so long then  
as the life of nations is in need of    
religion as a motive and sanction of    
morality1 as food for faith1 hope1 and  
charity1 so long will the masses turn   
away from pure reason and naked truth1  
so long will they adore mystery1 so     
long--and rightly so--will they rest in 
faith1 the only region where the ideal  

presents itself to them in an attractive
 form4  ,june #i1 #ahgj4--;,at bottom1  
everything depends upon the presence or 
absence of one single element in the    
soul--hope4 ,all the activity of man1   
all his efforts and all his enterprises1
 presuppose a hope in him of attaining  
an end4 ,once kill this hope and his    
movements become senseless1 spasmodic1  
and convulsive1 like those of some one  
falling from a height4 ,to struggle with
 the inevitable has something childish  
in it4 ,to implore the law of           
gravitation to suspend its action would 
no doubt be a grotesque prayer4 ,very   
well6 but when a man loses faith in the 
efficacy of his efforts1 when he says to
 himself1 8,you are incapable of        
realizing your ideal2 happiness is a    
chimera1 progress is an illusion1 the   
passion for perfection is a snare2 and  
supposing all your ambitions were       
gratified1 everything would still be    
vanity10 then he comes to see that a    
little blindness is necessary if life is

 to be carried on1 and that illusion is 
the universal spring of movement4       
,complete disillusion would mean        
absolute immobility4 ,he who has        
deciphered the secret and read the      
riddle of finite life escapes from the  
great wheel of existence2 he has left   
the world of the living--he is already  
dead4 ,is this the meaning of the old   
belief that to raise the veil of ,isis  
or to behold ,god face to face brought  
destruction upon the rash mortal who    
attempted it8 ,egypt and ,judea had     
recorded the fact1 ,buddha gave the key 
to it2 the individual life is a nothing 
ignorant of itself1 and as soon as this 
nothing knows itself1 individual life is
 abolished in principle4 ,for as soon as
 the illusion vanishes1 ,nothingness    
resumes its eternal sway1 the suffering 
of life is over1 error has disappeared1 
time and form have ceased to be for this
 enfranchised individuality2 the colored
 air-bubble has burst in the infinite   
space1 and the misery of thought has    

sunk to rest in the changeless repose of
 all-embracing ,nothing4 ,the absolute1 
if it were spirit1 would still be       
activity1 and it is activity1 the       
daughter of desire1 which is            
incompatible with the absolute4 ,the    
absolute1 then1 must be the zero of all 
determination1 and the only manner of   
being suited to it is ,non-being4  ,july
 #b1 #ahgj4--,one of the vices of       
,france is the frivolity which          
substitutes public conventions for      
truth1 and absolutely ignores personal  
dignity and the majesty of conscience4  
,the ,french are ignorant of the ,a ,b  
,c of individual liberty1 and still show
 an essentially catholic intolerance    
toward the ideas which have not attained
 universality or the adhesion of the    
majority4 ,the nation is an army which  
can bring to bear mass1 number1 and     
force1 but not an assembly of free men  
in which each individual depends for his
 value on himself4 ,the eminent         
,frenchman depends upon others for his  

value2 if he possess stripe1 cross1     
scarf1 sword1 or robe--in a word1       
function and decoration--then he is held
 to be something1 and he feels himself  
somebody4 ,it is the symbol which       
establishes his merit1 it is the public 
which raises him from nothing1 as the   
sultan creates his viziers4 ,these      
highly-trained and social races have an 
antipathy for individual independence2  
everything with them must be founded    
upon authority military1 civil1 or      
religious1 and ,god himself is          
non-existent until he has been          
established by decree4 ,their           
fundamental dogma is that social        
omnipotence which treats the pretension 
of truth to be true without any official
 stamp1 as a mere usurpation and        
sacrilege1 and scouts the claim of the  
individual to possess either a separate 
conviction or a personal value4  ,july  
#bj1 #ahgj 7,bellalpe74--,a marvelous   
day4 ,the panorama before me is of a    
grandiose splendor2 it is a symphony of 

mountains1 a cantata of sunny ,alps4  ,i
 am dazzled and oppressed by it4 ,the   
feeling uppermost is one of delight in  
being able to admire1 of joy1 that is to
 say1 in a recovered power of           
contemplation which is the result of    
physical relief1 in being able at last  
to forget myself and surrender myself to
 things1 as befits a man in my state of 
health4 ,gratitude is mingled with      
enthusiasm4 ,i have just spent two hours
 of continuous delight at the foot of   
the ,sparrenhorn1 the peak behind us4 ,a
 flood of sensations overpowered me4 ,i 
could only look1 feel1 dream1 and think4
  ,later4--,ascent of the ,sparrenhorn4 
,the peak of it is not very easy to     
climb1 because of the masses of loose   
stones and the steepness of the path1   
which runs between two abysses4 ,but how
 great is one's reward6  ,the view      
embraces the whole series of the ,valais
 ,alps from the ,furka to the ,combin2  
and even beyond the ,furka one sees a   
few peaks of the ,ticino and the        

,rhaetian ,alps2 while if you turn you  
see behind you a whole polar world of   
snowfields and glaciers forming the     
southern side of the enormous ,bernese  
group of the ,finsteraarahorn1 the      
,mnch1 and the ,jungfrau4 ,the near     
representative of the group is the      
,aletschhorn1 whence diverge like so    
many ribbons the different ,aletsch     
glaciers which wind about the peak from 
which ,i saw them4 ,i could study the   
different zones1 one above              
another--fields1 woods1 grassy ,alps1   
bare rock and snow1 and the principle   
types of mountain2 the pagoda-shaped    
,mischabel1 with its four artes as      
flying buttresses and its staff of nine 
clustered peaks2 the cupola of the      
,fletchhorn1 the dome of ,monte ,rosa1  
the pyramid of the ,weisshorn1 the      
obelisk of the ,cervin4  ,bound me      
fluttered a multitude of butterflies and
 brilliant green-backed flies2 but      
nothing grew except a few lichens4 ,the 
deadness and emptiness of the upper     

,aletsch glacier1 like some vast white  
street1 called up the image of an icy   
,pompeii4 ,all around boundless silence4
 ,on my way back ,i noticed some effects
 of sunshine--the close elastic mountain
 grass1 starred with gentian1           
forget-me-not1 and anemones1 the        
mountain cattle standing out against the
 sky1 the rocks just piercing the soil1 
various circular dips in the mountain   
side1 stone waves petrified thousands of
 thousands of years ago1 the undulating 
ground1 the tender quiet of the evening2
 and ,i invoked the soul of the         
mountains and the spirit of the heights6
  ,july #bb1 #ahgj 7,bellalpe74--,the   
sky1 which was misty and overcast this  
morning1 has become perfectly blue      
again1 and the giants of the ,valais are
 bathed in tranquil light4  ,whence this
 solemn melancholy which oppresses and  
pursues me8 ,i have just read a series  
of scientific books 7,bronn on the      
8,laws of ,palaeontology10 ,karl ,ritter
 on the 8,law of ,geographical ,forms074

 ,are they the cause of this depression8
 or is it the majesty of this immense   
landscape1 the splendor of this setting 
sun1 which brings the tears to my eyes8 
8,crature d'un jour qui t'agites une    
heure10  what weighs upon thee--,i know 
it well--is the sense of thine utter    
nothingness6444 ,the names of great men 
hover before my eyes like a secret      
reproach1 and this grand impassive      
nature tells me that to-morrow ,i shall 
have disappeared1 butterfly that ,i am1 
without having lived4 ,or perhaps it is 
the breath of eternal things which stirs
 in me the shudder of ,job4 ,what is    
man--this weed which a sunbeam withers8 
,what is our life in the infinite abyss8
 ,i feel a sort of sacred terror1 not   
only for myself1 but for my race1 for   
all that is mortal4 ,like ,buddha1 ,i   
feel the great wheel turning--the wheel 
of universal illusion--and the dumb     
stupor which enwraps me is full of      
anguish4 ,isis lilts the corner of her  
veil1 and he who perceives the great    

mystery beneath is struck with          
giddiness4 ,i can scarcely breathe4 ,it 
seems to me that ,i am hanging by a     
thread above the fathomless abyss of    
destiny4 ,is this the ,infinite face to 
face1 an intuition of the last great    
death8    8,crature d'un jour qui       
t'agites une heure1   ,ton me est       
immortelle et tes pleurs vont finir40   
,finir8 ,when depths of ineffable desire
 are opening in the heart1 as vast1 as  
yawning as the immensity which surrounds
 us8 ,genius1 self-devotion1 love--all  
these cravings quicken into life and    
torture me at once4 ,like the           
shipwrecked sailor about to sink under  
the waves1 ,i am conscious of a mad     
clinging to life1 and at the same time  
of a rush of despair and repentance1    
which forces from me a cry for pardon4  
,and then all this hidden agony         
dissolves in wearied submission4        
8,resign yourself to the inevitable6    
,shroud away out of sight the flattering
 delusions of youth6 ,live and die in   

the shade6 ,like the insects humming in 
the darkness1 offer up your evening     
prayer4 ,be content to fade out of life 
without a murmur whenever the ,master of
 life shall breathe upon your tiny      
flame6 ,it is out of myriads of unknown 
lives that every clod of earth is built 
up4 ,the infusoria do not count until   
they are millions upon millions4 ,accept
 your nothingness40 ,amen6  ,but there  
is no peace except in order1 in law4 ,am
 ,i in order8 ,alas1 no6 ,my changeable 
and restless nature will torment me to  
the end4 ,i shall never see plainly what
 ,i ought to do4 ,the love of the better
 will have stood between me and the     
good4 ,yearning for the ideal will have 
lost me reality4 ,vague aspiration and  
undefined desire will have been enough  
to make my talents useless1 and to      
neutralize my powers4 ,unproductive     
nature that ,i am1 tortured by the      
belief that production was required of  
me1 may not my very remorse be a mistake
 and a superfluity8  ,scherer's phrase  

comes back to me1 8,we must accept      
ourselves as we are40  ,september #h1   
#ahgj 7,zurich74--,all the exiles are   
returning to ,paris--,edgar ,quinet1    
,louis ,blanc1 ,victor ,hugo4 ,by the   
help of their united experience will    
they succeed in maintaining the         
republic8 ,it is to be hoped so4 ,but   
the past makes it lawful to doubt4      
,while the republic is in reality a     
fruit1 the ,french look upon it as a    
seed-sowing4 ,elsewhere such a form of  
government presupposes free men2 in     
,france it is and must be an instrument 
of instruction and protection4 ,france  
has once more placed sovereignty in the 
hands of universal suffrage1 as though  
the multitude were already enlightened1 
judicious1 and reasonable1 and now her  
task is to train and discipline the     
force which1 by a fiction1 is master4   
,the ambition of ,france is set upon    
self-government1 but her capacity for it
 has still to be proved4 ,for eighty    
years she has confounded revolution with

 liberty2 will she now give proof of    
amendment and of wisdom8 ,such a change 
is not impossible4 ,let us wait for it  
with sympathy1 but also with caution4   
,september #ab1 #ahgj 7,basle74--,the   
old ,rhine is murmuring under my window4
 ,the wide gray stream rolls its great  
waves along and breaks against the      
arches of the bridge1 just as it did ten
 years or twenty years ago2 the red     
cathedral shoots its arrow-like spires  
toward heaven2 the ivy on the terraces  
which fringe the left bank of the ,rhine
 hangs over the walls like a green      
mantle2 the indefatigable ferry-boat    
goes and comes as it did of yore2 in a  
word1 things seem to be eternal1 while  
man's hair turns gray and his heart     
grows old4 ,i came here first as a      
student1 then as a professor4 ,now ,i   
return to it at the downward turn of    
middle age1 and nothing in the landscape
 has changed except myself4  ,the       
melancholy of memory may be commonplace 
and puerile--all the same it is true1 it

 is inexhaustible1 and the poets of all 
times have been open to its attacks4    
,at bottom1 what is individual life8 ,a 
variation of an eternal theme--to be    
born1 to live1 to feel1 to hope1 to     
love1 to suffer1 to weep1 to die4 ,some 
would add to these1 to grow rich1 to    
think1 to conquer2 but in fact1 whatever
 frantic efforts one may make1 however  
one may strain and excite one's self1   
one can but cause a greater or slighter 
undulation in the line of one's destiny4
 ,supposing a man renders the series of 
fundamental phenomena a little more     
evident to others or a little more      
distinct to himself1 what does it       
matter8 ,the whole is still nothing but 
a fluttering of the infinitely little1  
the insignificant repetition of an      
invariable theme4 ,in truth1 whether the
 individual exists or no1 the difference
 is so absolutely imperceptible in the  
whole of things that every complaint and
 every desire is ridiculous4 ,humanity  
in its entirety is but a flash in the   

duration of the planet1 and the planet  
may return to the gaseous state without 
the sun's feeling it even for a second4 
,the individual is the infinitesimal of 
nothing4  ,what1 then1 is nature8       
,nature is ,maa--that is to say1 an     
incessant1 fugitive1 indifferent series 
of phenomena1 the manifestation of all  
possibilities1 the inexhaustible play of
 all combinations4  ,and is ,maa all the
 while performing for the amusement of  
somebody1 of some spectator--,brahma8   
,or is ,brahma working out some serious 
and unselfish end8 ,from the theistic   
point of view1 is it the purpose of ,god
 to make souls1 to augment the sum of   
good and wisdom by the multiplication of
 himself in free beings--facets which   
may flash back to him his own holiness  
and beauty8 ,this conception is far more
 attractive to the heart4 ,but is it    
more true8 ,the moral consciousness     
affirms it4 ,if man is capable of       
conceiving goodness1 the general        
principle of things1 which cannot be    

inferior to man1 must be good4 ,the     
philosophy of labor1 of duty1 of effort1
 is surely superior to that of          
phenomena1 chance1 and universal        
indifference4 ,if so1 the whimsical ,maa
 would be subordinate to ,brahma1 the   
eternal thought1 and ,brahma would be in
 his turn subordinate to a holy ,god4   
,october #be1 #ahgj 7,geneva74--8,each  
function to the most worthy30 this maxim
 governs all constitutions1 and serves  
to test them4 ,democracy is not         
forbidden to apply it1 but democracy    
rarely does apply it1 because she holds1
 for example1 that the most worthy man  
is the man who pleases her1 whereas he  
who pleases her is not always the most  
worthy1 and because she supposes that   
reason guides the masses1 whereas in    
reality they are most commonly led by   
passion4 ,and in the end every falsehood
 has to be expiated1 for truth always   
takes its revenge4  ,alas1 whatever one 
may say or do1 wisdom1 justice1 reason1 
and goodness will never be anything more

 than special cases and the heritage of 
a few elect souls4 ,moral and           
intellectual harmony1 excellence in all 
its forms1 will always be a rarity of   
great price1 an isolated chef d'oeuvre4 
,all that can be expected from the most 
perfect institutions is that they should
 make it possible for individual        
excellence to develop itself1 not that  
they should produce the excellent       
individual4 ,virtue and genius1 grace   
and beauty1 will always constitute a    
noblesse such as no form of government  
can manufacture4 ,it is of no use1      
therefore1 to excite one's self for or  
against revolutions which have only an  
importance of the second order--an      
importance which ,i do not wish either  
to diminish or to ignore1 but an        
importance which1 after all1 is mostly  
negative4 ,the political life is but the
 means of the true life4  ,october #bf1 
#ahgj4--,sirocco4 ,a bluish sky4 ,the   
leafy crowns of the trees have dropped  
at their feet2 the finger of winter has 

touched them4 ,the errand-woman has just
 brought me my letters4 ,poor little    
woman1 what a life6 ,she spends her     
nights in going backward and forward    
from her invalid husband to her sister1 
who is scarcely less helpless1 and her  
days are passed in labor4 ,resigned and 
indefatigable1 she goes on without      
complaining1 till she drops4  ,lives    
such as hers prove something3 that the  
true ignorance is moral ignorance1 that 
labor and suffering are the lot of all  
men1 and that classification according  
to a greater or less degree of folly is 
inferior to that which proceeds         
according to a greater or less degree of
 virtue4 ,the kingdom of ,god belongs   
not to the most enlightened but to the  
best2 and the best man is the most      
unselfish man4 ,humble1 constant1       
voluntary self-sacrifice--this is what  
constitutes the true dignity of man4    
,and therefore is it written1 8,the last
 shall be first40 ,society rests upon   
conscience and not upon science4        

,civilization is first and foremost a   
moral thing4 ,without honesty1 without  
respect for law1 without the worship of 
duty1 without the love of one's         
neighbor--in a word1 without virtue--the
 whole is menaced and falls into decay1 
and neither letters nor art1 neither    
luxury nor industry1 nor rhetoric1 nor  
the policeman1 nor the custom-house     
officer1 can maintain erect and whole an
 edifice of which the foundations are   
unsound4  ,a state founded upon interest
 alone and cemented by fear is an       
ignoble and unsafe construction4 ,the   
ultimate ground upon which every        
civilization rests is the average       
morality of the masses1 and a sufficient
 amount of practical righteousness4     
,duty is what upholds all4 ,so that     
those who humbly and unobtrusively      
fulfill it1 and set a good example      
thereby1 are the salvation and the      
sustenance of this brilliant world1     
which knows nothing about them4 ,ten    
righteous men would have saved ,sodom1  

but thousands and thousands of good     
homely folk are needed to preserve a    
people from corruption and decay4  ,if  
ignorance and passion are the foes of   
popular morality1 it must be confessed  
that moral indifference is the malady of
 the cultivated classes4 ,the modern    
separation of enlightenment and virtue1 
of thought and conscience1 of the       
intellectual aristocracy from the honest
 and vulgar crowd1 is the greatest      
danger that can threaten liberty4 ,when 
any society produces an increasing      
number of literary exquisites1 of       
satirists1 skeptics1 and beaux esprits1 
some chemical disorganization of fabric 
may be inferred4 ,take1 for example1 the
 century of ,augustus1 and that of      
,louis ,,xv4 ,our cynics and railers are
 mere egotists1 who stand aloof from the
 common duty1 and in their indolent     
remoteness are of no service to society 
against any ill which may attack it4    
,their cultivation consists in having   
got rid of feeling4 ,and thus they fall 

farther and farther away from true      
humanity1 and approach nearer to the    
demoniacal nature4 ,what was it that    
,mephistopheles lacked8 ,not            
intelligence certainly1 but goodness4   
,october #bh1 #ahgj4--;,it is strange to
 see how completely justice is forgotten
 in the presence of great international 
struggles4 ,even the great majority of  
the spectators are no longer capable of 
judging except as their own personal    
tastes1 dislikes1 fears1 desires1       
interests1 or passions may dictate--that
 is to say1 their judgment is not a     
judgment at all4 ,how many people are   
capable of delivering a fair verdict on 
the struggle now going on8 ,very few6   
,this horror of equity1 this antipathy  
to justice1 this rage against a merciful
 neutrality1 represents a kind of       
eruption of animal passion in man1 a    
blind fierce passion1 which is absurd   
enough to call itself a reason1 whereas 
it is nothing but a force4  ,november   
#af1 #ahgj4--,we are struck by something

 bewildering and ineffable when we look 
down into the depths of an abyss2 and   
every soul is an abyss1 a mystery of    
love and piety4 ,a sort of sacred       
emotion descends upon me whenever ,i    
penetrate the recesses of this sanctuary
 of man1 and hear the gentle murmur of  
the prayers1 hymns1 and supplications   
which rise from the hidden depths of the
 heart4 ,these involuntary confidences  
fill me with a tender piety and a       
religious awe and shyness4 ,the whole   
experience seems to me as wonderful as  
poetry1 and divine with the divineness  
of birth and dawn4 ,speech fails me1 ,i 
bow myself and adore4 ,and1 whenever ,i 
am able1 ,i strive also to console and  
fortify4  ,december #f1 #ahgj4--8;,dauer
 im ,wechsel0--8,persistence in change40
 ,this title of a poem by ,goethe is the
 summing up of nature4 ,everything      
changes1 but with such unequal rapidity 
that one existence appears eternal to   
another4 ,a geological age1 for         
instance1 compared to the duration of   

any living being1 the duration of a     
planet compared to a geological age1    
appear eternities--our life1 too1       
compared to the thousand impressions    
which pass across us in an hour4        
,wherever one looks1 one feels one's    
self overwhelmed by the infinity of     
infinites4 ,the universe1 seriously     
studied1 rouses one's terror4           
,everything seems so relative that it is
 scarcely possible to distinguish       
whether anything has a real value4      
,where is the fixed point in this       
boundless and bottomless gulf8 ,must it 
not be that which perceives the         
relations of things--in other words1    
thought1 infinite thought8 ,the         
perception of ourselves within the      
infinite thought1 the realization of    
ourselves in ,god1 self-acceptance in   
him1 the harmony of our will with       
his--in a word1 religion--here alone is 
firm ground4 ,whether this thought be   
free or necessary1 happiness lies in    
identifying one's self with it4 ,both   

the stoic and the ,christian surrender  
themselves to the ,being of beings1     
which the one calls sovereign wisdom and
 the other sovereign goodness4 ,st4     
,john says1 8,god is ,light10 8,god is  
,love40 ,the ,brahmin says1 8,god is the
 inexhaustible fount of poetry40 ,let us
 say1 8,god is perfection40 ,and man8   
,man1 for all his inexpressible         
insignificance and frailty1 may still   
apprehend the idea of perfection1 may   
help forward the supreme will1 and die  
with ,hosanna on his lips6         99   
99       99       99       99  ,all     
teaching depends upon a certain         
presentiment and preparation in the     
taught2 we can only teach others        
profitably what they already virtually  
know2 we can only give them what they   
had already4 ,this principle of         
education is also a law of history4     
,nations can only be developed on the   
lines of their tendencies and aptitudes4
 ,try them on any other and they are    
rebellious and incapable of improvement4

         99       99       99       99  
99  ,by despising himself too much a man
 comes to be worthy of his own contempt4
         99       99       99       99  
99  ,its way of suffering is the witness
 which a soul bears to itself4          
99       99       99       99       99  
,the beautiful is superior to the       
sublime because it lasts and does not   
satiate1 while the sublime is relative1 
temporary and violent4         99       
99       99       99       99  ,february
 #d1 #ahga4--,perpetual effort is the   
characteristic of modern morality4 ,a   
painful process has taken the place of  
the old harmony1 the old equilibrium1   
the old joy and fullness of being4 ,we  
are all so many fauns1 satyrs1 or       
,silenuses1 aspiring to become angels2  
so many deformities laboring for our own
 embellishment2 so many clumsy          
chrysalises each working painfully      
toward the development of the butterfly 
within him4 ,our ideal is no longer a   
serene beauty of soul2 it is the agony  

of ,laocoon struggling with the hydra of
 evil4 ,the lot is cast irrevocably4    
,there are no more happy whole-natured  
men among us1 nothing but so many       
candidates for heaven1 galley-slaves on 
earth4    8,nous ramons notre vie en    
attendant le port40  ,molire said that  
reasoning banished reason4 ,it is       
possible also that the progress toward  
perfection we are so proud of is only a 
pretentious imperfection4 ,duty seems   
now to be more negative than positive2  
it means lessening evil rather than     
actual good2 it is a generous           
discontent1 but not happiness2 it is an 
incessant pursuit of an unattainable    
goal1 a noble madness1 but not reason2  
it is homesickness for the              
impossible--pathetic and pitiful1 but   
still not wisdom4  ,the being which has 
attained harmony1 and every being may   
attain it1 has found its place in the   
order of the universe1 and represents   
the divine thought at least as clearly  
as a flower or a solar system4 ,harmony 

seeks nothing outside itself4 ,it is    
what it ought to be2 it is the          
expression of right1 order1 law1 and    
truth2 it is greater than time1 and     
represents eternity4  ,february         
#f1ahga4--;,i am reading ,juste         
,olivier's 8,chansons du ,soir0 over    
again1 and all the melancholy of the    
poet seems to pass into my veins4 ,it is
 the revelation of a complete existence1
 and of a whole world of melancholy     
reverie4  ,how much character there is  
in 8,musette10 the 8,chanson de         
l',alouette10  the 8,chant du ,retour10 
and the 8,gat10 and how much freshness  
in 8,lina10 and 8,a ma fille60 ,but the 
best pieces of all are 8,au del10       
8,homunculus10 8,la ,trompeuse10 and    
especially 8,frre ,jacques10 its        
author's masterpiece4 ,to these may be  
added the 8,marionettes0 and the        
national song1 8,helvtie40 ,serious     
purpose and intention disguised in      
gentle gayety and childlike badinage1   
feeling hiding itself under a smile of  

satire1 a resigned and pensive wisdom   
expressing itself in rustic round or    
ballad1 the power of suggesting         
everything in a nothing--these are the  
points in which the ,vaudois poet       
triumphs4 ,on the reader's side there is
 emotion and surprise1 and on the       
author's a sort of pleasant slyness     
which seems to delight in playing tricks
 upon you1 only tricks of the most      
dainty and brilliant kind4 ,juste       
,olivier has the passion we might       
imagine a fairy to have for delicate    
mystification4 ,he hides his gifts4 ,he 
promises nothing and gives a great deal4
 ,his generosity1 which is prodigal1 has
 a surly air2 his simplicity is really  
subtlety2 his malice pure tenderness2   
and his whole talent is1 as it were1 the
 fine flower of the ,vaudois mind in its
 sweetest and dreamiest form4  ,february
 #aj1 #ahga4--,my reading for this      
morning has been some vigorous chapters 
of ,taine's 8,history of ,english       
,literature40 ,taine is a writer whose  

work always produces a disagreeable     
impression upon me1 as though of a      
creaking of pulleys and a clicking of   
machinery2 there is a smell of the      
laboratory about it4 ,his style is the  
style of chemistry and technology4 ,the 
science of it is inexorable2 it is dry  
and forcible1 penetrating and hard1     
strong and harsh1 but altogether lacking
 in charm1 humanity1 nobility1 and      
grace4 ,the disagreeable effect which it
 makes on one's taste1 ear1 and heart1  
depends probably upon two things3 upon  
the moral philosophy of the author and  
upon his literary principles4 ,the      
profound contempt for humanity which    
characterizes the physiological school1 
and the intrusion of technology into    
literature inaugurated by ,balzac and   
,stendhal1 explain the underlying       
aridity of which one is sensible in     
these pages1 and which seems to choke   
one like the gases from a manufactory of
 mineral products4 ,the book is         
instructive in the highest degree1 but  

instead of animating and stirring1 it   
parches1 corrodes1 and saddens its      
reader4 ,it excites no feeling whatever2
 it is simply a means of information4 ,i
 imagine this kind of thing will be the 
literature of the future--a literature  
l',amricaine1 as different as possible  
from ,greek art1 giving us algebra      
instead of life1 the formula instead of 
the image1 the exhalations of the       
crucible instead of the divine madness  
of ,apollo4 ,cold vision will replace   
the joys of thought1 and we shall see   
the death of poetry1 flayed and         
dissected by science4  ,february #ae1   
#ahga4--,without intending it1 nations  
educate each other1 while having        
apparently nothing in view but their own
 selfish interests4 ,it was ,france who 
made the ,germany of the present1 by    
attempting its destruction during ten   
generations2 it is ,germany who will    
regenerate contemporary ,france1 by the 
effort to crush her4 ,revolutionary     
,france will teach equality to the      

,germans1 who are by nature             
hierarchical4 ,germany will teach the   
,french that rhetoric is not science1   
and that appearance is not as valuable  
as reality4 ,the worship of             
prestige--that is to say1 of falsehood2 
the passion for vainglory--that is to   
say1 for smoke and noise2 these are what
 must die in the interests of the world4
 ,it is a false religion which is being 
destroyed4 ,i hope sincerely that this  
war will issue in a new balance of      
things better than any which has gone   
before--a new ,europe1 in which the     
government of the individual by himself 
will be the cardinal principle of       
society1 in opposition to the ,latin    
principle1 which regards the individual 
as a thing1 a means to an end1 an       
instrument of the church or of the      
state4  ,in the order and harmony which 
would result from free adhesion and     
voluntary submission to a common ideal1 
we should see the rise of a new moral   
world4 ,it would be an equivalent1      

expressed in lay terms1 to the idea of a
 universal priesthood4 ,the model state 
ought to resemble a great musical       
society in which every one submits to be
 organized1 subordinated1 and           
disciplined for the sake of art1 and for
 the sake of producing a masterpiece4   
,nobody is coerced1 nobody is made use  
of for selfish purposes1 nobody plays a 
hypocritical or selfish part4 ,all bring
 their talent to the common stock1 and  
contribute knowingly and gladly to the  
common wealth4 ,even self-love itself is
 obliged to help on the general action1 
under pain of rebuff should it make     
itself apparent4  ,february #ah1        
#ahga4--;,it is in the novel that the   
average vulgarity of ,german society1   
and its inferiority to the societies of 
,france and ,england1 are most clearly  
visible4 ,the notion of 8bad taste0     
seems to have no place in ,german       
aesthetics4 ,their elegance has no grace
 in it2 and they cannot understand the  
enormous difference there is between    

distinction 7what is gentlemanly1       
ladylike71 and their stiff              
vornehmlichkeit4 ,their imagination     
lacks style1 training1 education1 and   
knowledge of the world2 it has an       
ill-bred air even in its ,sunday dress4 
,the race is poetical and intelligent1  
but common and ill-mannered4 ,pliancy   
and gentleness1 manners1 wit1 vivacity1 
taste1 dignity1 and charm1 are qualities
 which belong to others4  ,will that    
inner freedom of soul1 that profound    
harmony of all the faculties which ,i   
have so often observed among the best   
,germans1 ever come to the surface8     
,will the conquerors of to-day ever     
learn to civilize and soften their forms
 of life8 ,it is by their future novels 
that we shall be able to judge4 ,as soon
 as they are capable of the novel of    
8good society0 they will have excelled  
all rivals4 ,till then1 finish1 polish1 
the maturity of social culture1 are     
beyond them2 they may have humanity of  
feeling1 but the delicacies1 the little 

perfections of life1 are unknown to     
them4 ,they may be honest and           
well-meaning1 but they are utterly      
without savoir vivre4  ,february #bb1   
#ahga4--,soire at the ,m--4 ,about      
thirty people representing our best     
society were there1 a happy mixture of  
sexes and ages4 ,there were gray heads1 
young girls1 bright faces--the whole    
framed in some ,aubusson tapestries     
which made a charming background1 and   
gave a soft air of distance to the      
brilliantly-dressed groups4  ,in society
 people are expected to behave as if    
they lived on ambrosia and concerned    
themselves with nothing but the loftiest
 interests4 ,anxiety1 need1 passion1    
have no existence4 ,all realism is      
suppressed as brutal4 ,in a word1 what  
we call 8society0 proceeds for the      
moment on the flattering illusory       
assumption that it is moving in an      
ethereal atmosphere and breathing the   
air of the gods4 ,all vehemence1 all    
natural expression1 all real suffering1 

all careless familiarity1 or any frank  
sign of passion1 are startling and      
distasteful in this delicate milieu2    
they at once destroy the common work1   
the cloud palace1 the magical           
architectural whole1 which has been     
raised by the general consent and       
effort4 ,it is like the sharp cock-crow 
which breaks the spell of all           
enchantments1 and puts the fairies to   
flight4 ,these select gatherings        
produce1 without knowing it1 a sort of  
concert for eyes and ears1 an improvised
 work of art4 ,by the instinctive       
collaboration of everybody concerned1   
intellect and taste hold festival1 and  
the associations of reality are         
exchanged for the associations of       
imagination4 ,so understood1 society is 
a form of poetry2 the cultivated classes
 deliberately recompose the idyll of the
 past and the buried world of ,astrea4  
,paradox or no1 ,i believe that these   
fugitive attempts to reconstruct a dream
 whose only end is beauty represent     

confused reminiscences of an age of gold
 haunting the human heart1 or rather    
aspirations toward a harmony of things  
which every day reality denies to us1   
and of which art alone gives us a       
glimpse4  ,april #bh1 #ahga4--;,for a   
psychologist it is extremely interesting
 to be readily and directly conscious of
 the complications of one's own organism
 and the play of its several parts4 ,it 
seems to me that the sutures of my being
 are becoming just loose enough to allow
 me at once a clear perception of myself
 as a whole and a distinct sense of my  
own brittleness4 ,a feeling like this   
makes personal existence a perpetual    
astonishment and curiosity4 ,instead of 
only seeing the world which surrounds   
me1 ,i analyze myself4 ,instead of being
 single1 all of a piece1 ,i become      
legion1 multitude1 a whirlwind--a very  
cosmos4 ,instead of living on the       
surface1 ,i take possession of my inmost
 self1 ,i apprehend myself1 if not in my
 cells and atoms1 at least so far as my 

groups of organs1 almost my tissues1 are
 concerned4 ,in other words1 the central
 monad isolates itself from all the     
subordinate monads1 that it may consider
 them1 and finds its harmony again in   
itself4  ,health is the perfect balance 
between our organism1 with all its      
component parts1 and the outer world2 it
 serves us especially for acquiring a   
knowledge of that world4 ,organic       
disturbance obliges us to set up a fresh
 and more spiritual equilibrium1 to     
withdraw within the soul4 ,thereupon our
 bodily constitution itself becomes the 
object of thought4 ,it is no longer we1 
although it may belong to us2 it is     
nothing more than the vessel in which we
 make the passage of life1 a vessel of  
which we study the weak points and the  
structure without identifying it with   
our own individuality4  ,where is the   
ultimate residence of the self8 ,in     
thought1 or rather in consciousness4    
,but below consciousness there is its   
germ1 the punctum saliens of            

spontaneity2 for consciousness is not   
primitive1 it becomes4 ,the question is1
 can the thinking monad return into its 
envelope1 that is to say1 into pure     
spontaneity1 or even into the dark abyss
 of virtuality8 ,i hope not4 ,the       
kingdom passes2 the king remains2 or    
rather is it the royalty alone which    
subsists--that is to say1 the idea--the 
personality begin in its turn merely the
 passing vesture of the permanent idea8 
,is ,leibnitz or ,hegel right8 ,is the  
individual immortal under the form of   
the spiritual body8 ,is he eternal under
 the form of the individual idea8 ,who  
saw most clearly1 ,st4 ,paul or ,plato8 
,the theory of ,leibnitz attracts me    
most because it opens to us an infinite 
of duration1 of multitude1 and          
evolution4 ,for a monad1 which is the   
virtual universe1 a whole infinite of   
time is not too much to develop the     
infinite within it4 ,only one must admit
 exterior actions and influences which  
affect the evolution of the monad4 ,its 

independence must be a mobile and       
increasing quantity between zero and the
 infinite1 without ever reaching either 
completeness or nullity1 for the monad  
can be neither absolutely passive nor   
entirely free4  ,june #ba1 #ahga4--,the 
international socialism of the ouvriers1
 ineffectually put down in ,paris1 is   
beginning to celebrate its approaching  
victory4 ,for it there is neither       
country1 nor memories1 nor property1 nor
 religion4 ,there is nothing and nobody 
but itself4 ,its dogma is equality1 its 
prophet is ,mably1 and ,baboeuf is its  
god4  ,footnote3 ,mably1 the ,abb       
,mably1 #agji-he1 one of the precursors 
of the revolution1 the professor of a   
cultivated and classical communism based
 on a study of antiquity1 which ,babeuf 
and others like him1 in the following   
generation1 translated into practical   
experiment4 8,caius ,gracchus0 ,babeuf1 
born #agfd1 and guillotined in #agig for
 a conspiracy against the ,directory1 is
 sometimes called the first ,french     

socialist4 ,perhaps socialist doctrines1
 properly so called1 may be said to make
 their first entry into the region of   
popular debate and practical agitation  
with his 8,manifeste des gaux10 issued  
,april #agif4  ,how is the conflict to  
be solved1 since there is no longer one 
single common principle between the     
partisans and the enemies of the        
existing form of society1 between       
liberalism and the worship of equality8 
,their respective notions of man1 duty1 
happiness--that is to say1 of life and  
its end--differ radically4 ,i suspect   
that the communism of the               
,internationale is merely the pioneer of
 ,russian nihilism1 which will be the   
common grave of the old races and the   
servile races1 the ,latins and the      
,slavs4 ,if so1 the salvation of        
humanity will depend upon individualism 
of the brutal ,american sort4 ,i believe
 that the nations of the present are    
rather tempting chastisement than       
learning wisdom4 ,wisdom1 which means   

balance and harmony1 is only met within 
individuals4 ,democracy1 which means the
 rule of the masses1 gives preponderance
 to instinct1 to nature1 to the         
passions--that is to say1 to blind      
impulse1 to elemental gravitation1 to   
generic fatality4 ,perpetual vacillation
 between contraries becomes its only    
mode of progress1 because it represents 
that childish form of prejudice which   
falls in love and cools1 adores1 and    
curses1 with the same haste and         
unreason4 ,a succession of opposing     
follies gives an impression of change   
which the people readily identify with  
improvement1 as though ,enceladus was   
more at ease on his left side than on   
his right1 the weight of the volcano    
remaining the same4 ,the stupidity of   
,demos is only equaled by its           
presumption4 ,it is like a youth with   
all his animal and none of his reasoning
 powers developed4  ,luther's comparison
 of humanity to a drunken peasant1      
always ready to fall from his horse on  

one side or the other1 has always struck
 me as a particularly happy one4 ,it is 
not that ,i deny the right of the       
democracy1 but ,i have no sort of       
illusion as to the use it will make of  
its right1 so long1 at any rate1 as     
wisdom is the exception and conceit the 
rule4 ,numbers make law1 but goodness   
has nothing to do with figures4 ,every  
fiction is self-expiating1 and democracy
 rests upon this legal fiction1 that the
 majority has not only force but reason 
on its side--that it possesses not only 
the right to act but the wisdom         
necessary for action4 ,the fiction is   
dangerous because of its flattery2 the  
demagogues have always flattered the    
private feelings of the masses4 ,the    
masses will always be below the average4
 ,besides1 the age of majority will be  
lowered1 the barriers of sex will be    
swept away1 and democracy will finally  
make itself absurd by handing over the  
decision of all that is greatest to all 
that is most incapable4 ,such an end    

will be the punishment of its abstract  
principle of equality1 which dispenses  
the ignorant man from the necessity of  
self-training1 the foolish man from that
 of self-judgment1 and tells the child  
that there is no need for him to become 
a man1 and the good-for-nothing that    
self-improvement is of no account4      
,public law1 founded upon virtual       
equality1 will destroy itself by its    
consequences4 ,it will not recognize the
 inequalities of worth1 of merit1 and of
 experience2 in a word1 it ignores      
individual labor1 and it will end in the
 triumph of platitude and the residuum4 
,the rgime of the ,parisian ,commune has
 shown us what kind of material comes to
 the top in these days of frantic vanity
 and universal suspicion4  ,still1      
humanity is tough1 and survives all     
catastrophes4 ,only it makes one        
impatient to see the race always taking 
the longest road to an end1 and         
exhausting all possible faults before it
 is able to accomplish one definite step

 toward improvement4 ,these innumerable 
follies1 that are to be and must be1    
have an irritating effect upon me4 ,the 
more majestic is the history of science1
 the more intolerable is the history of 
politics and religion4 ,the mode of     
progress in the moral world seems an    
abuse of the patience of ,god4  ,enough6
 ,there is no help in misanthropy and   
pessimism4 ,if our race vexes us1 let us
 keep a decent silence on the matter4   
,we are imprisoned on the same ship1 and
 we shall sink with it4 ,pay your own   
debt1 and leave the rest to ,god4       
,sharer1 as you inevitably are1 in the  
sufferings of your kind1 set a good     
example2 that is all which is asked of  
you4 ,do all the good you can1 and say  
all the truth you know or believe2 and  
for the rest be patient1 resigned1      
submissive4 ,god does his business1 do  
yours4  ,july #bi1 #ahga4--,so long as a
 man is capable of self-renewal he is a 
living being4 ,goethe1 ,schleiermacher  
and ,humboldt1 were masters of the art4 

,if we are to remain among the living   
there must be a perpetual revival of    
youth within us1 brought about by inward
 change and by love of the ,platonic    
sort4 ,the soul must be forever         
recreating itself1 trying all its       
various modes1 vibrating in all its     
fibres1 raising up new interests for    
itself4444  ,the 8,epistles0 and the    
8,epigrams0 of ,goethe which ,i have    
been reading to-day do not make one love
 him4 ,why8 ,because he has so little   
soul4 ,his way of understanding love1   
religion1 duty1 and patriotism has      
something mean and repulsive in it4     
,there is no ardor1 no generosity in    
him4 ,a secret barrenness1 an           
ill-concealed egotism1 makes itself felt
 through all the wealth and flexibility 
of his talent4 ,it is true that the     
egotism of ,goethe has at least this    
much that is excellent in it1 that it   
respects the liberty of the individual1 
and is favorable to all originality4    
,but it will go out of its way to help  

nobody2 it will give itself no trouble  
for anybody2 it will lighten nobody     
else's burden2 in a word1 it does away  
with charity1 the great ,christian      
virtue4 ,perfection for ,goethe consists
 in personal nobility1 not in love2 his 
standard is aesthetic1 not moral4 ,he   
ignores holiness1 and has never allowed 
himself to reflect on the dark problem  
of evil4 ,a ,spinozist to the core1 he  
believes in individual luck1 not in     
liberty1 nor in responsibility4 ,he is a
 ,greek of the great time1 to whom the  
inward crises of the religious          
consciousness are unknown4 ,he          
represents1 then1 a state of soul       
earlier than or subsequent to           
,christianity1 what the prudent critics 
of our time call the 8modern spirit20   
and only one tendency of the modern     
spirit--the worship of nature4 ,for     
,goethe stands outside all the social   
and political aspirations of the        
generality of mankind2 he takes no more 
interest than ,nature herself in the    

disinherited1 the feeble1 and the       
oppressed4444  ,the restlessness of our 
time does not exist for ,goethe and his 
school4 ,it is explicable enough4 ,the  
deaf have no sense of dissonance4 ,the  
man who knows nothing of the voice of   
conscience1 the voice of regret or      
remorse1 cannot even guess at the       
troubles of those who live under two    
masters and two laws1 and belong to two 
worlds--that of nature and that of      
liberty4 ,for himself1 his choice is    
made4 ,but humanity cannot choose and   
exclude4 ,all needs are vocal at once in
 the cry of her suffering4 ,she hears   
the men of science1 but she listens to  
those who talk to her of religion2      
pleasure attracts her1 but sacrifice    
moves her2 and she hardly knows whether 
she hates or whether she adores the     
crucifix4  ,later4--,still re-reading   
the sonnets and the miscellaneous poems 
of ,goethe4 ,the impression left by this
 part of the 8,gedichte0 is much more   
favorable than that made upon me by the 

8,elegies0 and the 8,epigrams40  ,the   
8,water ,spirits0 and 8,the ,divine0 are
 especially noble in feeling4 ,one must 
never be too hasty in judging these     
complex natures4 ,completely lacking as 
he is in the sense of obligation and of 
sin1 ,goethe nevertheless finds his way 
to seriousness through dignity4 ,greek  
sculpture has been his school of virtue4
  ,august #ae1 #ahga4--,re-read1 for the
 second time1 ,renan's 8,vie de ,jesus10
  in the sixteenth popular edition4 ,the
 most characteristic feature of this    
analysis of ,christianity is that sin   
plays no part at all in it4 ,now1 if    
anything explains the success of the    
gospel among men1 it is that it brought 
them deliverance from sin--in a word1   
salvation4 ,a man1 however1 is bound to 
explain a religion seriously1 and not to
 shirk the very center of his subject4  
,this white-marble ,christ is not the   
,christ who inspired the martyrs and has
 dried so many tears4 ,the author lacks 
moral seriousness1 and confounds        

nobility of character with holiness4 ,he
 speaks as an artist conscious of a     
pathetic subject1 but his moral sense is
 not interested in the question4 ,it is 
not possible to mistake the epicureanism
 of the imagination1 delighting itself  
in an aesthetic spectacle1 for the      
struggles of a soul passionately in     
search of truth4 ,in ,renan there are   
still some remains of priestly ruse2 he 
strangles with sacred cords4 ,his tone  
of contemptuous indulgence toward a more
 or less captious clergy might be       
tolerated1 but he should have shown a   
more respectful sincerity in dealing    
with the sincere and the spiritual4     
,laugh at ,pharisaism as you will1 but  
speak simply and plainly to honest folk4
 ,footnote3 8#8,persifflez les          
pharisasmes1 mais parlez droit aux      
honntes gens' me dit ,amiel1 avec une   
certaine aigreur4 ,mon ,dieu1 que les   
honntes gens sont souvent exposs  tre   
des pharisiens sans le savoir60--7,m4   
,renan's article1 already quoted74      

,later4--,to understand is to be        
conscious of the fundamental unity of   
the thing to be explained--that is to   
say1 to conceive it in its entirety both
 of life and development1 to be able to 
remake it by a mental process without   
making a mistake1 without adding or     
omitting anything4 ,it means1 first1    
complete identification of the object1  
and then the power of making it clear to
 others by a full and just              
interpretation4 ,to understand is more  
difficult than to judge1 for            
understanding is the transference of the
 mind into the conditions of the object1
 whereas judgment is simply the         
enunciation of the individual opinion4  
,august #be1 #ahga4                     
7,charnex-sur-,montreux74--,magnificent 
weather4 ,the morning seems bathed in   
happy peace1 and a heavenly fragrance   
rises from mountain and shore2 it is as 
though a benediction were laid upon us4 
,no vulgar intrusive noise disturbs the 
religious quiet of the scene4 ,one might

 believe one's self in a church--a vast 
temple in which every being and every   
natural beauty has its place4 ,i dare   
not breathe for fear of putting the     
dream to flight--a dream traversed by   
angels4    8,comme autrefois j'entends  
dans l'ther infini   ,la musique du     
temps et l'hosanna des mondes40  ,in    
these heavenly moments the cry of       
,pauline rises to one's lips4 ,footnote3
 8,polyeuete10 ,act4 ,v4 ,scene v4      
8,mon poux en mourant m'a laiss ses     
lumires2   ,son sang dont tes bourreaux 
viennent de me couvrir   ,m'a dessill   
les yeux et me les vient d'ouvrir4   ,je
 vois1 je sais1 je crois----8  8,i feel6
 ,i believe6 ,i see60 ,all the miseries1
 the cares1 the vexations of life1 are  
forgotten2 the universal joy absorbs us2
 we enter into the divine order1 and    
into the blessedness of the ,lord4      
,labor and tears1 sin1 pain1 and death  
have passed away4 ,to exist is to bless2
 life is happiness4 ,in this sublime    
pause of things all dissonances have    

disappeared4 ,it is as though creation  
were but one vast symphony1 glorifying  
the ,god of goodness with an            
inexhaustible wealth of praise and      
harmony4 ,we question no longer whether 
it is so or not4 ,we have ourselves     
become notes in the great concert2 and  
the soul breaks the silence of ecstasy  
only to vibrate in unison with the      
eternal joy4  ,september #bb1 #ahga4    
7,charnex74--,gray sky--a melancholy    
day4 ,a friend has left me1 the sun is  
unkind and capricious4 ,everything      
passes away1 everything forsakes us4    
,and in place of all we have lost1 age  
and gray hairs6 444 ,after dinner ,i    
walked to ,chailly between two showers4 
,a rainy landscape has a great charm for
 me2 the dark tints become more velvety1
 the softer tones more ethereal4 ,the   
country in rain is like a face with     
traces of tears upon it--less beautiful 
no doubt1 but more expressive4  ,behind 
the beauty which is superficial1        
gladsome1 radiant1 and palpable1 the    

aesthetic sense discovers another order 
of beauty altogether1 hidden1 veiled1   
secret and mysterious1 akin to moral    
beauty4 ,this sort of beauty only       
reveals itself to the initiated1 and is 
all the more exquisite for that4 ,it is 
a little like the refined joy of        
sacrifice1 like the madness of faith1   
like the luxury of grief2 it is not     
within the reach of all the world4 ,its 
attraction is peculiar1 and affects one 
like some strange perfume1 or bizarre   
melody4 ,when once the taste for it is  
set up the mind takes a special and keen
 delight in it1 for one finds in it     
8,son bien premirement1 puis le ddain   
d'autrui10  and it is pleasant to one's 
vanity not to be of the same opinion as 
the common herd4 ,this1 however1 is not 
possible with things which are evident1 
and beauty which is incontestable4      
,charm1 perhaps1 is a better name for   
the esoteric and paradoxical beauty1    
which escapes the vulgar1 and appeals to
 our dreamy1 meditative side4 ,classical

 beauty belongs1 so to speak1 to all    
eyes2 it has ceased to belong to itself4
 ,esoteric beauty is shy and retiring4  
,it only unveils itself to unsealed     
eyes1 and bestows its favors only upon  
love4  ,this is why my friend ----1 who 
places herself immediately in relation  
with the souls of those she meets1 does 
not see the ugliness of people when once
 she is interested in them4 ,she likes  
and dislikes1 and those she likes are   
beautiful1 those she dislikes are ugly4 
,there is nothing more complicated in it
 than that4 ,for her1 aesthetic         
considerations are lost in moral        
sympathy2 she looks with her heart only2
 she passes by the chapter of the       
beautiful1 and goes on to the chapter of
 charm4 ,i can do the same2 only it is  
by reflection and on second thoughts2 my
 friend does it involuntarily and at    
once2 she has not the artistic fiber4   
,the craving for a perfect              
correspondence between the inside and   
the outside of things--between matter   

and form--is not in her nature4 ,she    
does not suffer from ugliness1 she      
scarcely perceives it4 ,as for me1 ,i   
can only forget what shocks me1 ,i      
cannot help being shocked4 ,all corporal
 defects irritate me1 and the want of   
beauty in women1 being something which  
ought not to exist1 shocks me like a    
tear1 a solecism1 a dissonance1 a spot  
of ink--in a word1 like something out of
 order4 ,on the other hand1 beauty      
restores and fortifies me like some     
miraculous food1 like ,olympian         
ambrosia4   8,que le bon soit toujours  
camarade du beau   ,ds demain je        
chercherai femme4   ,mais comme le      
divorce entre eux n'est pas nouveau1    
,et que peu de beaux corps1 htes d'une  
belle me1   ,assemblent l'un et l'autre 
point----0  ,i will not finish1 for     
after all one must resign one's self1 ,a
 beautiful soul in a healthy body is    
already a rare and blessed thing2 and if
 one finds heart1 common sense1         
intellect1 and courage into the bargain1

 one may well do without that ravishing 
dainty which we call beauty1 and almost 
without that delicious seasoning which  
we call grace4 ,we do without--with a   
sigh1 as one does without a luxury4     
,happy we1 to possess what is necessary4
  ,december #bi1 #ahga4--;,i have been  
reading ,bahnsen 78,critique de         
l'volutionisme de ,hegel-,hartmann1 au  
nom des principes de ,schopenhauer074   
,what a writer6 ,like a cuttle-fish in  
water1 every movement produces a cloud  
of ink which shrouds his thought in     
darkness4 ,and what a doctrine6 ,a      
thoroughgoing pessimism1 which regards  
the world as absurd1 8absolutely        
idiotic10 and reproaches ,hartmann for  
having allowed the evolution of the     
universe some little remains of logic1  
while1 on the contrary1 this evolution  
is eminently contradictory1 and there is
 no reason anywhere except in the poor  
brain of the reasoner4 ,of all possible 
worlds that which exists is the worst4  
,its only excuse is that it tends of    

itself to destruction4 ,the hope of the 
philosopher is that reasonable beings   
will shorten their agony and hasten the 
return of everything to nothing4 ,it is 
the philosophy of a desperate ,satanism1
 which has not even the resigned        
perspectives of ,buddhism to offer to   
the disappointed and disillusioned soul4
 ,the individual can but protest and    
curse4 ,this frantic ,sivaism is        
developed from the conception which     
makes the world the product of blind    
will1 the principle of everything4  ,the
 acrid blasphemy of the doctrine        
naturally leads the writer to indulgence
 in epithets of bad taste which prevent 
our regarding his work as the mere      
challenge of a paradoxical theorist4 ,we
 have really to do with a theophobist1  
whom faith in goodness rouses to a fury 
of contempt4 ,in order to hasten the    
deliverance of the world1 he kills all  
consolation1 all hope1 and all illusion 
in the germ1 and substitutes for the    
love of humanity which inspired         

akyamouni1 that ,mephistophelian gall   
which defiles1 withers1 and corrodes    
everything it touches4  ,evolutionism1  
fatalism1 pessimism1 nihilism--how      
strange it is to see this desolate and  
terrible doctrine growing and expanding 
at the very moment when the ,german     
nation is celebrating its greatness and 
its triumphs6 ,the contrast is so       
startling that it sets one thinking4    
,this orgie of philosophic thought1     
identifying error with existence itself1
 and developing the axiom of            
,proudhon--8,evil is ,god10 will bring  
back the mass of mankind to the         
,christian theodicy1 which is neither   
optimist nor pessimist1 but simply      
declares that the felicity which        
,christianity calls eternal life is     
accessible to man4  ,self-mockery1      
starting from a horror of stupidity and 
hypocrisy1 and standing in the way of   
all wholeness of mind and all true      
seriousness--this is the goal to which  
intellect brings us at last1 unless     

conscience cries out4  ,the mind must   
have for ballast the clear conception of
 duty1 if it is not to fluctuate between
 levity and despair4         99       99
       99       99       99  ,before    
giving advice we must have secured its  
acceptance1 or rather1 have made it     
desired4         99       99       99   
99       99  ,if we begin by overrating 
the being we love1 we shall end by      
treating it with wholesale injustice4   
99       99       99       99       99  
,it is dangerous to abandon one's self  
to the luxury of grief2 it deprives one 
of courage1 and even of the wish for    
recovery4         99       99       99  
99       99  ,we learn to recognize a   
mere blunting of the conscience in that 
incapacity for indignation which is not 
to be confounded with the gentleness of 
charity1 or the reserve of humility4    
,february #g1 #ahgb4--,without faith a  
man can do nothing4  ,but faith can     
stifle all science4  ,what1 then1 is    
this ,proteus1 and whence8  ,faith is a 

certitude without proofs4 ,being a      
certitude1 it is an energetic principle 
of action4 ,being without proof1 it is  
the contrary of science4 ,hence its two 
aspects and its two effects4 ,is its    
point of departure intelligence8 ,no4   
,thought may shake or strengthen faith2 
it cannot produce it4 ,is its origin in 
the will8 ,no2 good will may favor it1  
ill-will may hinder it1 but no one      
believes by will1 and faith is not a    
duty4 ,faith is a sentiment1 for it is a
 hope2 it is an instinct1 for it        
precedes all outward instruction4 ,faith
 is the heritage of the individual at   
birth2 it is that which binds him to the
 whole of being4 ,the individual only   
detaches himself with difficulty from   
the maternal breast2 he only isolates   
himself by an effort from the nature    
around him1 from the love which enwraps 
him1 the ideas in which he floats1 the  
cradle in which he lies4 ,he is born in 
union with humanity1 with the world1 and
 with ,god4 ,the trace of this original 

union is faith4 ,faith is the           
reminiscence of that vague ,eden whence 
our individuality issued1 but which it  
inhabited in the somnambulist state     
anterior to the personal life4  ,our    
individual life consists in separating  
ourselves from our milieu2 in so        
reacting upon it that we apprehend it   
consciously1 and make ourselves         
spiritual personalities--that is to say1
 intelligent and free4 ,our primitive   
faith is nothing more than the neutral  
matter which our experience of life and 
things works up a fresh1 and which may  
be so affected by our studies of every  
kind as to perish completely in its     
original form4 ,we ourselves may die    
before we have been able to recover the 
harmony of a personal faith which may   
satisfy our mind and conscience as well 
as our hearts4 ,but the need of faith   
never leaves us4 ,it is the postulate of
 a higher truth which is to bring all   
things into harmony4 ,it is the stimulus
 of research2 it holds out to us the    

reward1 it points us to the goal4 ,such 
at least is the true1 the excellent     
faith4 ,that which is a mere prejudice  
of childhood1 which has never known     
doubt1 which ignores science1 which     
cannot respect or understand or tolerate
 different convictions--such a faith is 
a stupidity and a hatred1 the mother of 
all fanaticisms4 ,we may then repeat of 
faith what ,aesop said of the tongue--  
8,quid medius lingu1 lingu quid pejus   
eadem80  ,to draw the poison-fangs of   
faith in ourselves1 we must subordinate 
it to the love of truth4 ,the supreme   
worship of the true is the only means of
 purification for all religions all     
confessions1 all sects4 ,faith should   
only be allowed the second place1 for   
faith has a judge--in truth4 ,when she  
exalts herself to the position of       
supreme judge the world is enslaved3    
,christianity1 from the fourth to the   
seventeenth century1 is the proof of    
it444 ,will the enlightened faith ever  
conquer the vulgar faith8 ,we must look 

forward in trust to a better future4    
,the difficulty1 however1 is this4 ,a   
narrow faith has much more energy than  
an enlightened faith2 the world belongs 
to will much more than to wisdom4 ,it is
 not then certain that liberty will     
triumph over fanaticism2 and besides1   
independent thought will never have the 
force of prejudice4 ,the solution is to 
be found in a division of labor4 ,after 
those whose business it will have been  
to hold up to the world the ideal of a  
pure and free faith1 will come the men  
of violence1 who will bring the new     
creed within the circle of recognized   
interests1 prejudices1 and institutions4
 ,is not this just what happened to     
,christianity8 ,after the gentle        
,master1 the impetuous ,paul and the    
bitter ,councils4 ,it is true that this 
is what corrupted the gospel4 ,but still
 ,christianity has done more good than  
harm to humanity1 and so the world      
advances1 by the successive decay of    
gradually improved ideals4  ,june #ai1  

#ahgb4--,the wrangle in the ,paris      
,synod still goes on4 ,footnote3 ,a     
synod of the ,reformed churches of      
,france was then occupied in determining
 the constituent conditions of          
,protestant belief4 ,the supernatural is
 the stone of stumbling4  ,it might be  
possible to agree on the idea of the    
divine2 but no1 that is not the         
question--the chaff must be separated   
from the good grain4 ,the supernatural  
is miracle1 and miracle is an objective 
phenomenon independent of all preceding 
casuality4 ,now1 miracle thus understood
 cannot be proved experimentally2 and   
besides1 the subjective phenomena1 far  
more important than all the rest1 are   
left out of account in the definition4  
,men will not see that miracle is a     
perception of the soul2 a vision of the 
divine behind nature2 a psychical       
crisis1 analogous to that of ,aeneas on 
the last day of ,troy1 which reveals to 
us the heavenly powers prompting and    
directing human action4 ,for the        

indifferent there are no miracles4 ,it  
is only the religious souls who are     
capable of recognizing the finger of    
,god in certain given facts4  ,the minds
 which have reached the doctrine of     
immanence are incomprehensible to the   
fanatics of transcendence4 ,they will   
never understand--these last--that the  
panentheism of ,krause is ten times more
 religious than their dogmatic          
supernaturalism4 ,their passion for the 
facts which are objective1 isolated1 and
 past1 prevents them from seeing the    
facts which are eternal and spiritual4  
,they can only adore what comes to them 
from without4 ,as soon as their         
dramaturgy is interpreted symbolically  
all seems to them lost4 ,they must have 
their local prodigies--their vanished   
unverifiable miracles1 because for them 
the divine is there and only there4     
,this faith can hardly fail to conquer  
among the races pledged to the          
,cartesian dualism1 who call the        
incomprehensible clear1 and abhor what  

is profound4 ,women also will always    
find local miracle more easy to         
understand than universal miracle1 and  
the visible objective intervention of   
,god more probable than his             
psychological and inward action4 ,the   
,latin world by its mental form is      
doomed to petrify its abstractions1 and 
to remain forever outside the inmost    
sanctuary of life1 that central hearth  
where ideas are still undivided1 without
 shape or determination4 ,the ,latin    
mind makes everything objective1 because
 it remains outside things1 and outside 
itself4 ,it is like the eye which only  
perceives what is exterior to it1 and   
which cannot see itself except          
artificially1 and from a distance1 by   
means of the reflecting surface of a    
mirror4  ,august #cj1 #ahgb4--;,a priori
 speculations weary me now as much as   
anybody4 ,all the different             
scholasticisms make me doubtful of what 
they profess to demonstrate1 because1   
instead of examining1 they affirm from  

the beginning4 ,their object is to throw
 up entrenchments around a prejudice1   
and not to discover the truth4 ,they    
accumulate that which darkens rather    
than that which enlightens4 ,they are   
descended1 all of them1 from the        
,catholic procedure1 which excludes     
comparison1 information1 and previous   
examination4 ,their object is to trick  
men into assent1 to furnish faith with  
arguments1 and to suppress free inquiry4
 ,but to persuade me1 a man must have no
 parti pris1 and must begin with showing
 a temper of critical sincerity2 he must
 explain to me how the matter lies1     
point out to me the questions involved  
in it1 their origin1 their difficulties1
 the different solutions attempted1 and 
their degree of probability4 ,he must   
respect my reason1 my conscience1 and my
 liberty4 ,all scholasticism is an      
attempt to take by storm2 the authority 
pretends to explain itself1 but only    
pretends1 and its deference is merely   
illusory4 ,the dice are loaded and the  

premises are pre-judged4 ,the unknown is
 taken as known1 and all the rest is    
deduced from it4  ,philosophy means the 
complete liberty of the mind1 and       
therefore independence of all social1   
political1 or religious prejudice4 ,it  
is to begin with neither ,christian nor 
pagan1 neither monarchical nor          
democratic1 neither socialist nor       
individualist2 it is critical and       
impartial2 it loves one thing           
only--truth4 ,if it disturbs the        
ready-made opinions of the church or the
 state--of the historical medium--in    
which the philosopher happens to have   
been born1 so much the worse1 but there 
is no help for it4    8,est ut est aut  
non est10  ,philosophy means1 first1    
doubt2 and afterward the consciousness  
of what knowledge means1 the            
consciousness of uncertainty and of     
ignorance1 the consciousness of limit1  
shade1 degree1 possibility4 ,the        
ordinary man doubts nothing and suspects
 nothing4 ,the philosopher is more      

cautious1 but he is thereby unfitted for
 action1 because1 although he sees the  
goal less dimly than others1 he sees his
 own weakness too clearly1 and has no   
illusions as to his chances of reaching 
it4  ,the philosopher is like a man     
fasting in the midst of universal       
intoxication4 ,he alone perceives the   
illusion of which all creatures are the 
willing playthings2 he is less duped    
than his neighbor by his own nature4 ,he
 judges more sanely1 he sees things as  
they are4 ,it is in this that his       
liberty consists--in the ability to see 
clearly and soberly1 in the power of    
mental record4 ,philosophy has for its  
foundation critical lucidity4 ,the end  
and climax of it would be the intuition 
of the universal law1 of the first      
principle and the final aim of the      
universe4 ,not to be deceived is its    
first desire2 to understand1 its second4
 ,emancipation from error is the        
condition of real knowledge4 ,the       
philosopher is a skeptic seeking a      

plausible hypothesis1 which may explain 
to him the whole of his experiences4    
,when he imagines that he has found such
 a key to life he offers it to1 but does
 not force it on his fellow men4        
,october #i1 #ahgb4--;,i have been      
taking tea at the ,m's4 ,these ,english 
homes are very attractive4 ,they are the
 recompense and the result of a         
long-lived civilization1 and of an ideal
 untiringly pursued4 ,what ideal8 ,that 
of a moral order1 founded on respect for
 self and for others1 and on reverence  
for duty--in a word1 upon personal worth
 and dignity4 ,the master shows         
consideration to his guests1 the        
children are deferential to their       
parents1 and every one and everything   
has its place4 ,they understand both how
 to command and how to obey4 ,the little
 world is well governed1 and seems to go
 of itself2 duty is the genius loci--but
 duty tinged with a reserve and         
self-control which is the ,english      
characteristic4 ,the children are the   

great test of this domestic system2 they
 are happy1 smiling1 trustful1 and yet  
no trouble4 ,one feels that they know   
themselves to be loved1 but that they   
know also that they must obey4 ,our     
children behave like masters of the     
house1 and when any definite order comes
 to limit their encroachments they see  
in it an abuse of power1 an arbitrary   
act4 ,why8 ,because it is their         
principle to believe that everything    
turns round them4 ,our children may be  
gentle and affectionate1 but they are   
not grateful1 and they know nothing of  
self-control4  ,how do ,english mothers 
attain this result8 ,by a rule which is 
impersonal1 invariable1 and firm2 in    
other words1 by law1 which forms man for
 liberty1 while arbitrary decree only   
leads to rebellion and attempts at      
emancipation4 ,this method has the      
immense advantage of forming characters 
which are restive under arbitrary       
authority1 and yet amenable to justice1 
conscious of what is due to them and    

what they owe to others1 watchful over  
conscience1 and practiced in            
self-government4 ,in every ,english     
child one feels something of the        
national motto--8,god and my right10 and
 in every ,english household one has a  
sense that the home is a citadel1 or    
better still1 a ship in which every one 
has his place4 ,naturally in such a     
world the value set on family life      
corresponds with the cost of producing  
it2 it is sweet to those whose efforts  
maintain it4  ,october #ad1 #ahgb4--,the
 man who gives himself to contemplation 
looks on at1 rather than directs his    
life1 is rather a spectator than an     
actor1 seeks rather to understand than  
to achieve4 ,is this mode of existence  
illegitimate1 immoral8 ,is one bound to 
act8 ,is such detachment an idiosyncrasy
 to be respected or a sin to be fought  
against8 ,i have always hesitated on    
this point1 and ,i have wasted years in 
futile self-reproach and useless fits of
 activity4 ,my western conscience1      

penetrated as it is with ,christian     
morality1 has always persecuted my      
oriental quietism and ,buddhist         
tendencies4 ,i have not dared to approve
 myself1 ,i have not known how to       
correct myself4 ,in this1 as in all     
else1 ,i have remained divided1 and     
perplexed1 wavering between two         
extremes4 ,so equilibrium is somehow    
preserved1 but the crystallization of   
action or thought becomes impossible4   
,having early a glimpse of the absolute1
 ,i have never had the indiscreet       
effrontery of individualism4 ,what right
 have ,i to make a merit of a defect8 ,i
 have never been able to see any        
necessity for imposing myself upon      
others1 nor for succeeding4 ,i have seen
 nothing clearly except my own          
deficiencies and the superiority of     
others4 ,that is not the way to make a  
career4 ,with varied aptitudes and a    
fair intelligence1 ,i had no dominant   
tendency1 no imperious faculty1 so that 
while by virtue of capacity ,i felt     

myself free1 yet when free ,i could not 
discover what was best4 ,equilibrium    
produced indecision1 and indecision has 
rendered all my faculties barren4       
,november #h1 #ahgb4 7,friday74--,i have
 been turning over the 8,stoics0  again4
 ,poor ,louisa ,siefert6 ,footnote3     
,louise ,siefert1 a modern ,french      
poetess1 died #ahgi4 ,in addition to    
8,les ,stoques10 she published 8,l',anne
 ,rpublicaine10 ,paris #ahfi1 and other 
works4 ,ah6 we play the stoic1 and all  
the while the poisoned arrow in the side
 pierces and wounds1 lethalis arundo4   
,what is it that1 like all passionate   
souls1 she really craves for8 ,two      
things which are contradictory--glory   
and happiness4 ,she adores two          
incompatibles--the ,reformation and the 
,revolution1 ,france and the contrary of
 ,france2 her talent itself is a        
combination of two opposing qualities1  
inwardness and brilliancy1 noisy display
 and lyrical charm4 ,she dislocates the 
rhythm of her verse1 while at the same  

time she has a sensitive ear for rhyme4 
,she is always wavering between ,valmore
 and ,baudelaire1 between ,leconte de   
,lisle and ,sainte-,beuve--that is to   
say1 her taste is a bringing together of
 extremes4 ,she herself has described   
it3    8,toujours extrme en mes dsirs1  
,jadis1 enfant joyeuse et folle1        
,souvent une seule parole               
,bouleversait tous mes plaisirs40  ,but 
what a fine instrument she possesses6   
what strength of soul6 what wealth of   
imagination6  ,december #c1             
#ahgb4--,what a strange dream6 ,i was   
under an illusion and yet not under it2 
,i was playing a comedy to myself1      
deceiving my imagination without being  
able to deceive my consciousness4 ,this 
power which dreams have of fusing       
incompatibles together1 of uniting what 
is exclusive1 of identifying yes and no1
 is what is most wonderful and most     
symbolical in them4 ,in a dream our     
individuality is not shut up within     
itself2 it envelops1 so to speak1 its   

surroundings2 it is the landscape1 and  
all that it contains1 ourselves         
included4 ,but if our imagination is not
 our own1 if it is impersonal1 then     
personality is but a special and limited
 case of its general functions4 ,a      
fortiori it would be the same for       
thought4 ,and if so1 thought might exist
 without possessing itself individually1
 without embodying itself in an ego4 ,in
 other words1 dreams lead us to the idea
 of an imagination enfranchised from the
 limits of personality1 and even of a   
thought which should be no longer       
conscious4 ,the individual who dreams is
 on the way to become dissolved in the  
universal phantasmagoria of ,maa4       
,dreams are excursions into the limbo of
 things1 a semi-deliverance from the    
human prison4 ,the man who dreams is but
 the locale of various phenomena of     
which he is the spectator in spite of   
himself2 he is passive and impersonal2  
he is the plaything of unknown          
vibrations and invisible sprites4  ,the 

man who should never issue from the     
state of dream would have never attained
 humanity1 properly so called1 but the  
man who had never dreamed would only    
know the mind in its completed or       
manufactured state1 and would not be    
able to understand the genesis of       
personality2 he would be like a crystal1
 incapable of guessing what             
crystallization means4 ,so that the     
waking life issues from the dream life1 
as dreams are an emanation from the     
nervous life1 and this again is the fine
 flower of organic life4 ,thought is the
 highest point of a series of ascending 
metamorphoses1 which is called nature4  
,personality by means of thought1       
recovers in inward profundity what it   
has lost in extension1 and makes up for 
the rich accumulations of receptive     
passivity by the enormous privilege of  
that empire over self which is called   
liberty4 ,dreams1 by confusing and      
suppressing all limits1 make us feel1   
indeed1 the severity of the conditions  

attached to the higher existence2 but   
conscious and voluntary thought alone   
brings knowledge and allows us to       
act--that is to say1 is alone capable of
 science and of perfection4 ,let us then
 take pleasure in dreaming for reasons  
of psychological curiosity and mental   
recreation2 but let us never speak ill  
of thought1 which is our strength and   
our dignity4 ,let us begin as           
,orientals1 and end as ,westerns1 for   
these are the two halves of wisdom4     
,december #aa1 #ahgb4--;,a deep and     
dreamless sleep and now ,i wake up to   
the gray1 lowering1 rainy sky1 which has
 kept us company for so long4 ,the air  
is mild1 the general outlook depressing4
 ,i think that it is partly the fault of
 my windows1 which are not very clean1  
and contribute by their dimness to this 
gloomy aspect of the outer world4 ,rain 
and smoke have besmeared them4  ,between
 us and things how many screens there   
are6 ,mood1 health1 the tissues of the  
eye1 the window-panes of our cell1 mist1

 smoke1 rain1 dust1 and light           
itself--and all infinitely variable6    
,heraclitus said3 8,no man bathes twice 
in the same river40 ,i feel inclined to 
say2 ,no one sees the same landscape    
twice over1 for a window is one         
kaleidoscope1 and the spectator another4
  ,what is madness8 ,illusion1 raised to
 the second power4 ,a sound mind        
establishes regular relations1 a modus  
vivendi1 between things1 men1 and       
itself1 and it is under the delusion    
that it has got hold of stable truth and
 eternal fact4 ,madness does not even   
see what sanity sees1 deceiving itself  
all the while by the belief that it sees
 better than sanity4 ,the sane mind or  
common sense confounds the fact of      
experience with necessary fact1 and     
assumes in good faith that what is1 is  
the measure of what may be2 while       
madness cannot perceive any difference  
between what is and what it imagines--it
 confounds its dreams with reality4     
,wisdom consists in rising superior both

 to madness and to common sense1 and in 
lending one's self to the universal     
illusion without becoming its dupe4 ,it 
is best1 on the whole1 for a man of     
taste who knows how to be gay with the  
gay1 and serious with the serious1 to   
enter into the game of ,maa1 and to play
 his part with a good grace in the      
fantastic tragi-comedy which is called  
the ,universe4 ,it seems to me that here
 intellectualism reaches its limit4     
,footnote3 8,we all believe in duty10   
says ,m4 ,renan1 8and in the triumph of 
righteousness20 but it is possible      
notwithstanding1 8que tout le contraire 
soit vrai--et que le monde ne soit      
qu'une amusante ferie dont aucun dieu ne
 se soucie4 ,il faut donc nous arranger 
de maniere  ceque1 dans le cas o le     
seconde hypothse serait la vraie1 nous  
n'ayons pas t trop dups40  ,this strain 
of remark1 which is developed at        
considerable length1 is meant as a      
criticism of ,amiel's want of           
sensitiveness to the irony of things4   

,but in reality1 as the passage in the  
text shows1 ,m4 ,renan is only          
expressing a feeling with which ,amiel  
was just as familiar as his critic4     
,only he is delivered from this last    
doubt of all by his habitual            
seriousness2 by that sense of 8horror   
and awe0 which ,m4 ,renan puts away from
 him4 ,conscience saves him 8from the   
sorceries of ,maa40 ,the mind1 in its   
intellectual capacity1 arrives at the   
intuition that all reality is but the   
dream of a dream4 ,what delivers us from
 the palace of dreams is pain1 personal 
pain2 it is also the sense of           
obligation1 or that which combines the  
two1 the pain of sin2 and again it is   
love2 in short1 the moral order4 ,what  
saves us from the sorceries of ,maa is  
conscience2 conscience dissipates the   
narcotic vapors1 the opium-like         
hallucinations1 the placid stupor of    
contemplative indifference4 ,it drives  
us into contact with the terrible wheels
 within wheels of human suffering and   

human responsibility2 it is the         
bugle-call1 the cockcrow1 which puts the
 phantoms to flight2 it is the armed    
archangel who chases man from an        
artificial paradise4 ,intellectualism   
may be described as an intoxication     
conscious of itself2 the moral energy   
which replaces it1 on the other hand1   
represents a state of fast1 a famine and
 a sleepless thirst4 ,alas6 ,alas6      
,those who have the most frivolous idea 
of sin are just those who suppose that  
there is a fixed gulf between good      
people and others4         99       99  
99       99       99  ,the ideal which  
the wife and mother makes for herself1  
the manner in which she understands duty
 and life1 contain the fate of the      
community4 ,her faith becomes the star  
of the conjugal ship1 and her love the  
animating principle that fashions the   
future of all belonging to her4 ,woman  
is the salvation or destruction of the  
family4 ,she carries its destinies in   
the folds of her mantle4         99     

99       99       99       99  ,perhaps 
it is not desirable that a woman should 
be free in mind2 she would immediately  
abuse her freedom4 ,she cannot become   
philosophical without losing her special
 gift1 which is the worship of all that 
is individual1 the defense of usage1    
manners1 beliefs1 traditions4 ,her rle  
is to slacken the combustion of thought4
 ,it is analogous to that of azote in   
vital air4         99       99       99 
99       99  ,in every loving woman     
there is a priestess of the past--a     
pious guardian of some affection1 of    
which the object has disappeared4       
,january #f1 #ahgc4--;,i have been      
reading the seven tragedies of          
,aeschylus1 in the translation of       
,leconte de ,lisle4 ,the 8,prometheus0  
and the 8,eumenides0 are greatest where 
all is great2 they have the sublimity of
 the old prophets4 ,both depict a       
religious revolution--a profound crisis 
in the life of humanity4 ,in            
8,prometheus0 it is civilization        

wrenched from the jealous hands of the  
gods2 in the 8,eumenides0 it is the     
transformation of the idea of justice1  
and the substitution of atonement and   
pardon for the law of implacable        
revenge4 8,prometheus0 shows us the     
martyrdom which waits for all the       
saviors of men2 the 8,eumenides0 is the 
glorification of ,athens and the        
,areopagus--that is to say1 of a truly  
human civilization4 ,how magnificent it 
is as poetry1 and how small the         
adventures of individual passion seem   
beside this colossal type of tragedy1 of
 which the theme is the destinies of    
nations6  ,march #ca1 #ahgc4 7#d ,p4    
,m47--    8,en quel songe   ,se plonge  
,mon coeur1 et que veut-il80  ,for an   
hour past ,i have been the prey of a    
vague anxiety2 ,i recognize my old      
enemy4444 ,it is a sense of void and    
anguish2 a sense of something lacking3  
what8 ,love1 peace--,god perhaps4 ,the  
feeling is one of pure want unmixed with
 hope1 and there is anguish in it       

because ,i can clearly distinguish      
neither the evil nor its remedy4    8,o 
printemps sans piti1 dans l'me          
endolorie1   ,avec tes chants d'oiseaux1
 tes brises1 ton azur1   ,tu creuses    
sourdement1 conspirateur obscur1   ,le  
gouffre des langueurs et de la rverie40 
,of all the hours of the day1 in fine   
weather1 the afternoon1 about #c        
o'clock1 is the time which to me is most
 difficult to bear4 ,i never feel more  
strongly than ,i do then1 8le vide      
effrayant de la vie10  the stress of    
mental anxiety1 or the painful thirst   
for happiness4 ,this torture born of the
 sunlight is a strange phenomenon4 ,is  
it that the sun1 just as it brings out  
the stain upon a garment1 the wrinkles  
in a face1 or the discoloration of the  
hair1 so also it illumines with         
inexorable distinctness the scars and   
rents of the heart8 ,does it rouse in us
 a sort of shame of existence8 ,in any  
case the bright hours of the day are    
capable of flooding the whole soul with 

melancholy1 of kindling in us the       
passion for death1 or suicide1 or       
annihilation1 or of driving us to that  
which is next akin to death1 the        
deadening of the senses by the pursuit  
of pleasure4 ,they rouse in the lonely  
man a horror of himself2 they make him  
long to escape from his own misery and  
solitude--    8,le coeur tremp sept fois
 dans le nant divin40  ,people talk of  
the temptations to crime connected with 
darkness1 but the dumb sense of         
desolation which is often the product of
 the most brilliant moment of daylight  
must not be forgotten either4 ,from the 
one1 as from the other1 ,god is absent2 
but in the first case a man follows his 
senses and the cry of his passion2 in   
the second1 he feels himself lost and   
bewildered1 a creature forsaken by all  
the world4    8,en nous sont deux       
instincts qui bravent la raison1        
,c'est l'effroi du bonheur et la soif du
 poison4   ,coeur solitaire1  toi prends
 garde60  ,april #c1 #ahgc4--;,i have   

been to see my friends ----4 ,their     
niece has just arrived with two of her  
children1 and the conversation turned on
 ,father ,hyacinthe's lecture4  ,women  
of an enthusiastic temperament have a   
curious way of speaking of extempore    
preachers and orators4 ,they imagine    
that inspiration radiates from a crowd  
as such1 and that inspiration is all    
that is wanted4 ,could there be a more  
naf and childish explanation of what is 
really a lecture in which nothing has   
been left to accident1 neither the plan1
 nor the metaphors1 nor even the length 
of the whole1 and where everything has  
been prepared with the greatest care6   
,but women1 in their love of what is    
marvelous and miraculous1 prefer to     
ignore all this4 ,the meditation1 the   
labor1 the calculation of effects1 the  
art1 in a word1 which have gone to the  
making of it1 diminishes for them the   
value of the thing1 and they prefer to  
believe it fallen from heaven1 or sent  
down from on high4 ,they ask for bread1 

but cannot bear the idea of a baker4    
,the sex is superstitious1 and hates to 
understand what it wishes to admire4 ,it
 would vex it to be forced to give the  
smaller share to feeling1 and the larger
 share to thought4 ,it wishes to believe
 that imagination can do the work of    
reason1 and feeling the work of science1
 and it never asks itself how it is that
 women1 so rich in heart and            
imagination1 have never distinguished   
themselves as orators--that is to say1  
have never known how to combine a       
multitude of facts1 ideas1 and impulses1
 into one complex unity4 ,enthusiastic  
women never even suspect the difference 
that there is between the excitement of 
a popular harangue1 which is nothing but
 a mere passionate outburst1 and the    
unfolding of a didactic process1 the aim
 of which is to prove something and to  
convince its hearers4 ,therefore1 for   
them1 study1 reflection1 technique1     
count as nothing2 the improvisatore     
mounts upon the tripod1 ,pallas all     

armed issues from his lips1 and conquers
 the applause of the dazzled assembly4  
,evidently women divide orators into two
 groups2 the artisans of speech1 who    
manufacture their laborious discourses  
by the aid of the midnight lamp1 and the
 inspired souls1 who simply give        
themselves the trouble to be born4 ,they
 will never understand the saying of    
,quintilian1 8,fit orator1 nascitur     
poeta40  ,the enthusiasm which acts is  
perhaps an enlightening force1 but the  
enthusiasm which accepts is very like   
blindness4 ,for this latter enthusiasm  
confuses the value of things1 ignores   
their shades of difference1 and is an   
obstacle to all sensible criticism and  
all calm judgment4 ,the                 
8,ewig-,weibliche0 favors exaggeration1 
mysticism1 sentimentalism--all that     
excites and startles4 ,it is the enemy  
of clearness1 of a calm and rational    
view of things1 the antipodes of        
criticism and of science4 ,i have had   
only too much sympathy and weakness for 

the feminine nature4 ,the very excess of
 my former indulgence toward it makes me
 now more conscious of its infirmity4   
,justice and science1 law and reason1   
are virile things1 and they come before 
imagination1 feeling1 reverie1 and      
fancy4 ,when one reflects that ,catholic
 superstition is maintained by women1   
one feels how needful it is not to hand 
over the reins to the 8,eternal         
,womanly40  ,may #bc1 #ahgc4--,the      
fundamental error of ,france lies in her
 psychology4 ,france has always believed
 that to say a thing is the same as to  
do it1 as though speech were action1 as 
though rhetoric were capable of         
modifying the tendencies1 habits1 and   
character of real beings1 and as though 
verbiage were an efficient substitute   
for will1 conscience1 and education4    
,france proceeds by bursts of eloquence1
 of cannonading1 or of law-making2 she  
thinks that so she can change the nature
 of things2 and she produces only       
phrases and ruins4 ,she has never       

understood the first line of            
,montesquieu3 8,laws are necessary      
relations1 derived from the nature of   
things40 ,she will not see that her     
incapacity to organize liberty comes    
from her own nature2 from the notions   
which she has of the individual1 of     
society1 of religion1 of law1 of        
duty--from the manner in which she      
brings up children4 ,her way is to plant
 trees downward1 and then she is        
astonished at the result6 ,universal    
suffrage1 with a bad religion and a bad 
popular education1 means perpetual      
wavering between anarchy and            
dictatorship1 between the red and the   
black1 between ,danton and ,loyola4     
,how many scapegoats will ,prance       
sacrifice before it occurs to her to    
beat her own breast in penitence8       
,august #ah1 #ahgc4                     
7,scheveningen74--,yesterday1 ,sunday1  
the landscape was clear and distinct1   
the air bracing1 the sea bright and     
gleaming1 and of an ashy-blue color4    

,there were beautiful effects of beach1 
sea1 and distance2 and dazzling tracks  
of gold upon the waves1 after the sun   
had sunk below the bands of vapor drawn 
across the middle sky1 and before it had
 disappeared in the mists of the sea    
horizon4 ,the place was very full4 ,all 
,scheveningen and the ,hague1 the       
village and the capital1 had streamed   
out on to the terrace1 amusing          
themselves at innumerable tables1 and   
swamping the strangers and the bathers4 
,the orchestra played some ,wagner1 some
 ,auber1 and some waltzes4 ,what was all
 the world doing8 ,simply enjoying life4
  ,a thousand thoughts wandered through 
my brain4 ,i thought how much history it
 had taken to make what ,i saw possible2
 ,judaea1 ,egypt1 ,greece1 ,germany1    
,gaul2 all the centuries from ,moses to 
,napoleon1 and all the zones from       
,batavia to ,guiana1 had united in the  
formation of this gathering4 ,the       
industry1 the science1 the art1 the     
geography1 the commerce1 the religion of

 the whole human race1 are repeated in  
every human combination2 and what we see
 before our own eyes at any given moment
 is inexplicable without reference to   
all that has ever been4 ,this           
interlacing of the ten thousand threads 
which necessity weaves into the         
production of one single phenomenon is a
 stupefying thought4 ,one feels one's   
self in the presence of law             
itself--allowed a glimpse of the        
mysterious workshop of nature4 ,the     
ephemeral perceives the eternal4  ,what 
matters the brevity of the individual   
span1 seeing that the generations1 the  
centuries1 and the worlds themselves are
 but occupied forever with the ceaseless
 reproduction of the hymn of life1 in   
all the hundred thousand modes and      
variations which make up the universal  
symphony8 ,the motive is always the     
same2 the monad has but one law3 all    
truths are but the variation of one     
single truth4 ,the universe represents  
the infinite wealth of the ,spirit      

seeking in vain to exhaust all          
possibilities1 and the goodness of the  
,creator1 who would fain share with the 
created all that sleeps within the limbo
 of ,omnipotence4  ,to contemplate and  
adore1 to receive and give back1 to have
 uttered one's note and moved one's     
grain of sand1 is all which is expected 
from such insects as we are2 it is      
enough to give motive and meaning to our
 fugitive apparition in existence4444   
,after the concert was over the paved   
esplanade behind the hotels and the two 
roads leading to the ,hague were alive  
with people4 ,one might have fancied    
one's self upon one of the great        
,parisian boulevards just when the      
theaters are emptying themselves--there 
were so many carriages1 omnibuses1 and  
cabs4 ,then1 when the human tumult had  
disappeared1 the peace of the starry    
heaven shone out resplendent1 and the   
dreamy glimmer of the ,milky ,way was   
only answered by the distant murmur of  
the ocean4  ,later4--,what is it which  

has always come between real life and   
me8 ,what glass screen has1 as it were1 
interposed itself between me and the    
enjoyment1 the possession1 the contact  
of things1 leaving me only the role of  
the looker-on8  ,false shame1 no doubt4 
,i have been ashamed to desire4 ,fatal  
result of timidity1 aggravated by       
intellectual delusion6 ,this            
renunciation beforehand of all natural  
ambitions1 this systematic putting aside
 of all longings and all desires1 has   
perhaps been false in idea2 it has been 
too like a foolish1 self-inflicted      
mutilation4 ,fear1 too1 has had a large 
share in it--    8,la peur de ce que    
j'aime est ma fatalit40  ,i very soon   
discovered that it was simpler for me to
 give up a wish than to satisfy it4 ,not
 being able to obtain all that my nature
 longed for1 ,i renounced the whole en  
bloc1 without even taking the trouble to
 determine in detail what might have    
attracted me2 for what was the good of  
stirring up trouble in one's self and   

evoking images of inaccessible treasure8
  ,thus ,i anticipated in spirit all    
possible disillusions1 in the true      
stoical fashion4 ,only1 with singular   
lack of logic1 ,i have sometimes allowed
 regret to overtake me1 and ,i have     
looked at conduct founded upon          
exceptional principles with the eyes of 
the ordinary man4 ,i should have been   
ascetic to the end2 contemplation ought 
to have been enough for me1 especially  
now1 when the hair begins to whiten4    
,but1 after all1 ,i am a man1 and not a 
theorem4 ,a system cannot suffer1 but ,i
 suffer4 ,logic makes only one          
demand--that of consequence2 but life   
makes a thousand2 the body wants health1
 the imagination cries out for beauty1  
and the heart for love2 pride asks for  
consideration1 the soul yearns for      
peace1 the conscience for holiness2 our 
whole being is athirst for happiness and
 for perfection2 and we1 tottering1     
mutilated1 and incomplete1 cannot always
 feign philosophic insensibility2 we    

stretch out our arms toward life1 and we
 say to it under our breath1            
8,why--why--hast thou deceived me80     
,august #ai1ahgc4 7,scheveningen74--,i  
have had a morning walk4 ,it has been   
raining in the night4 ,there are large  
clouds all round2 the sea1 veined with  
green and drab1 has put on the serious  
air of labor4 ,she is about her         
business1 in no threatening but at the  
same time in no lingering mood4 ,she is 
making her clouds1 heaping up her sands1
 visiting her shores and bathing them   
with foam1 gathering up her floods for  
the tide1 carrying the ships to their   
destinations1 and feeding the universal 
life4 ,i found in a hidden nook a sheet 
of fine sand which the water had        
furrowed and folded like the pink palate
 of a kitten's mouth1 or like a dappled 
sky4 ,everything repeats itself by      
analogy1 and each little fraction of the
 earth reproduces in a smaller and      
individual form all the phenomena of the
 planet4 ,farther on ,i came across a   

bank of crumbling shells1 and it was    
borne in upon me that the sea-sand      
itself might well be only the detritus  
of the organic life of preceding eras1 a
 vast monument or pyramid of immemorial 
age1 built up by countless generations  
of molluscs who have labored at the     
architecture of the shores like good    
workmen of ,god4 ,if the dunes and the  
mountains are the dust of living        
creatures who have preceded us1 how can 
we doubt but that our death will be as  
serviceable as our life1 and that       
nothing which has been lent is lost8    
,mutual borrowing and temporary service 
seem to be the law of existence4 ,only1 
the strong prey upon and devour the     
weak1 and the concrete inequality of    
lots within the abstract equality of    
destinies wounds and disquiets the sense
 of justice4  ,same day4--,a new spirit 
governs and inspires the generation     
which will succeed me4 ,it is a singular
 sensation to feel the grass growing    
under one's feet1 to see one's self     

intellectually uprooted4 ,one must      
address one's contemporaries4 ,younger  
men will not listen to you4 ,thought1   
like love1 will not tolerate a gray     
hair4 ,knowledge herself loves the      
young1 as ,fortune used to do in olden  
days4 ,contemporary civilization does   
not know what to do with old age2 in    
proportion as it defies physical        
experiment1 it despises moral           
experience4 ,one sees therein the       
triumph of ,darwinism2 it is a state of 
war1 and war must have young soldiers2  
it can only put up with age in its      
leaders when they have the strength and 
the mettle of veterans4  ,in point of   
fact1 one must either be strong or      
disappear1 either constantly rejuvenate 
one's self or perish4 ,it is as though  
the humanity of our day had1 like the   
migratory birds1 an immense voyage to   
make across space2 she can no longer    
support the weak or help on the         
laggards4 ,the great assault upon the   
future makes her hard and pitiless to   

all who fall by the way4 ,her motto is1 
8,the devil take the hindmost40  ,the   
worship of strength has never lacked    
altars1 but it looks as though the more 
we talk of justice and humanity1 the    
more that other god sees his kingdom    
widen4  ,august #bj1 #ahgc4             
7,scheveningen74--,i have now watched   
the sea which beats upon this shore     
under many different aspects4 ,on the   
whole1 ,i should class it with the      
,baltic4 ,as far as color1 effect1 and  
landscape go1 it is widely different    
from the ,breton or ,basque ocean1 and1 
above all1 from the ,mediterranean4 ,it 
never attains to the blue-green of the  
,atlantic1 nor the indigo of the ,ionian
 ,sea4 ,its scale of color runs from    
flint to emerald1 and when it turns to  
blue1 the blue is a turquoise shade     
splashed with gray4 ,the sea here is not
 amusing itself2 it has a busy and      
serious air1 like an ,englishman or a   
,dutchman4 ,neither polyps nor          
jelly-fish1 neither sea-weed nor crabs  

enliven the sands at low water2 the sea 
life is poor and meagre4 ,what is       
wonderful is the struggle of man against
 a miserly and formidable power4 ,nature
 has done little for him1 but she allows
 herself to be managed4 ,stepmother     
though she be1 she is accommodating1    
subject to the occasional destruction of
 a hundred thousand lives in a single   
inundation4  ,the air inside the dune is
 altogether different from that outside 
it4 ,the air of the sea is life-giving1 
bracing1 oxydized2 the air inland is    
soft1 relaxing1 and warm4 ,in the same  
way there are two ,hollands in every    
,dutchman3 there is the man of the      
polder1 heavy1 pale1 phlegmatic1 slow1  
patient himself1 and trying to the      
patience of others1 and there is the man
 of the dune1 of the harbor1 the shore1 
the sea1 who is tenacious1 seasoned1    
persevering1 sunburned1 daring4 ,where  
the two agree is in calculating         
prudence1 and in methodical persistency 
of effort4  ,august #bb1 #ahgc4         

7,scheveningen74--,the weather is rainy1
 the whole atmosphere gray2 it is a time
 favorable to thought and meditation4 ,i
 have a liking for such days as these2  
they revive one's converse with one's   
self and make it possible to live the   
inner life2 they are quiet and peaceful1
 like a song in a minor key4 ,we are    
nothing but thought1 but we feel our    
life to its very center4 ,our very      
sensations turn to reverie4 ,it is a    
strange state of mind2 it is like those 
silences in worship which are not the   
empty moments of devotion1 but the full 
moments1 and which are so because at    
such times the soul1 instead of being   
polarized1 dispersed1 localized1 in a   
single impression or thought1 feels her 
own totality and is conscious of        
herself4 ,she tastes her own substance4 
,she is no longer played upon1 colored1 
set in motion1 affected1 from without2  
she is in equilibrium and at rest4      
,openness and self-surrender become     
possible to her2 she contemplates and   

she adores4 ,she sees the changeless and
 the eternal enwrapping all the         
phenomena of time4 ,she is in the       
religious state1 in harmony with the    
general order1 or at least in           
intellectual harmony4 ,for holiness1    
indeed1 more is wanted--a harmony of    
will1 a perfect self-devotion1 death to 
self and absolute submission4           
,psychological peace--that harmony which
 is perfect but virtual--is but the     
zero1 the potentiality of all numbers2  
it is not that moral peace which is     
victorious over all ills1 which is real1
 positive1 tried by experience1 and able
 to face whatever fresh storms may      
assail it4  ,the peace of fact is not   
the peace of principle4 ,there are      
indeed two happinesses1 that of nature  
and that of conquest--two equilibria1   
that of ,greece and that of             
,nazareth--two kingdoms1 that of the    
natural man and that of the regenerate  
man4  ,later4 7,scheveningen74--,why do 
doctors so often make mistakes8 ,because

 they are not sufficiently individual in
 their diagnoses or their treatment4    
,they class a sick man under some given 
department of their nosology1 whereas   
every invalid is really a special case1 
a unique example4 ,how is it possible   
that so coarse a method of sifting      
should produce judicious therapeutics8  
,every illness is a factor simple or    
complex1 which is multiplied by a second
 factor1 invariably complex--the        
individual1 that is to say1 who is      
suffering from it1 so that the result is
 a special problem1 demanding a special 
solution1 the more so the greater the   
remoteness of the patient from childhood
 or from country life4  ,the principal  
grievance which ,i have against the     
doctors is that they neglect the real   
problem1 which is to seize the unity of 
the individual who claims their care4   
,their methods of investigation are far 
too elementary2 a doctor who does not   
read you to the bottom is ignorant of   
essentials4 ,to me the ideal doctor     

would be a man endowed with profound    
knowledge of life and of the soul1      
intuitively divining any suffering or   
disorder of whatever kind1 and restoring
 peace by his mere presence4 ,such a    
doctor is possible1 but the greater     
number of them lack the higher and inner
 life1 they know nothing of the         
transcendent laboratories of nature2    
they seem to me superficial1 profane1   
strangers to divine things1 destitute of
 intuition and sympathy4 ,the model     
doctor should be at once a genius1 a    
saint1 a man of ,god4  ,september #aa1  
#ahgc4 7,amsterdam74--,the doctor has   
just gone4 ,he says ,i have fever about 
me1 and does not think that ,i can start
 for another three days without         
imprudence4 ,i dare not write to my     
,genevese friends and tell them that ,i 
am coming back from the sea in a        
radically worse state of strength and   
throat than when ,i went there1 and that
 ,i have only wasted my time1 my        
trouble1 my money1 and my hopes4444     

,this contradictory double fact--on the 
one side an eager hopefulness springing 
up afresh after all disappointments1 and
 on the other an experience almost      
invariably unfavorable--can be explained
 like all illusions by the whim of      
nature1 which either wills us to be     
deceived or wills us to act as if we    
were so4  ,skepticism is the wiser      
course1 but in delivering us from error 
it tends to paralyze life4 ,maturity of 
mind consists in taking part in the     
prescribed game as seriously as though  
one believed in it4 ,good-humored       
compliance1 tempered by a smile1 is1 on 
the whole1 the best line to take2 one   
lends one's self to an optical illusion1
 and the voluntary concession has an air
 of liberty4 ,once imprisoned in        
existence1 we must submit to its laws   
with a good grace2 to rebel against it  
only ends in impotent rage1 when once we
 have denied ourselves the solution of  
suicide4  ,humility and submission1 or  
the religious point of view2 clear-eyed 

indulgence with a touch of irony1 or the
 point of view of worldly wisdom--these 
two attitudes are possible4 ,the second 
is sufficient for the minor ills of     
life1 the other is perhaps necessary in 
the greater ones4 ,the pessimism of     
,schopenhauer supposes at least health  
and intellect as means of enduring the  
rest of life4 ,but optimism either of   
the stoical or the ,christian sort is   
needed to make it possible for us to    
bear the worst sufferings of flesh1     
heart and soul4 ,if we are to escape the
 grip of despair1 we must believe either
 that the whole of things at least is   
good1 or that grief is a fatherly grace1
 a purifying trial4  ,there can be no   
doubt that the idea of a happy          
immortality1 serving as a harbor of     
refuge from the tempests of this mortal 
existence1 and rewarding the fidelity1  
the patience1 the submission1 and the   
courage of the travelers on life's      
sea--there can be no doubt that this    
idea1 the strength of so many           

generations1 and the faith of the       
church1 carries with it inexpressible   
consolation to those who are wearied1   
burdened1 and tormented by pain and     
suffering4 ,to feel one's self          
individually cared for and protected by 
,god gives a special dignity and beauty 
to life4 ,monotheism lightens the       
struggle for existence4 ,but does the   
study of nature allow of the maintenance
 of those local revelations which are   
called ,mosaism1 ,christianity1         
,islamism8 ,these religions founded upon
 an infantine cosmogony1 and upon a     
chimerical history of humanity1 can they
 bear confronting with modern astronomy 
and geology8 ,the present mode of       
escape1 which consists in trying to     
satisfy the claims of both science and  
faith--of the science which contradicts 
all the ancient beliefs1 and the faith  
which1 in the case of things that are   
beyond nature and incapable of          
verification1 affirms them on her own   
responsibility only--this mode of escape

 cannot last forever4 ,every fresh      
cosmical conception demands a religion  
which corresponds to it4 ,our age of    
transition stands bewildered between the
 two incompatible methods1 the          
scientific method and the religious     
method1 and between the two certitudes1 
which contradict each other4  ,surely   
the reconciliation of the two must be   
sought for in the moral law1 which is   
also a fact1 and every step of which    
requires for its explanation another    
cosmos than the cosmos of necessity4    
,who knows if necessity is not a        
particular case of liberty1 and its     
condition8 ,who knows if nature is not a
 laboratory for the fabrication of      
thinking beings who are ultimately to   
become free creatures8 ,biology         
protests1 and indeed the supposed       
existence of souls1 independently of    
time1 space1 and matter1 is a fiction of
 faith1 less logical than the ,platonic 
dogma4 ,but the question remains open4  
,we may eliminate the idea of purpose   

from nature1 yet1 as the guiding        
conception of the highest being of our  
planet1 it is a fact1 and a fact which  
postulates a meaning in the history of  
the universe4  ,my thought is straying  
in vague paths3 why8 because ,i have no 
creed4 ,all my studies end in notes of  
interrogation1 and that ,i may not draw 
premature or arbitrary conclusions ,i   
draw none4  ,later on4--,my creed has   
melted away1 but ,i believe in good1 in 
the moral order1 and in salvation2      
religion for me is to live and die in   
,god1 in complete abandonment to the    
holy will which is at the root of nature
 and destiny4 ,i believe even in the    
gospel1 the good news--that is to say1  
in the reconciliation of the sinner with
 ,god1 by faith in the love of a        
pardoning ,father4  ,october #d1 #ahgc4 
7,geneva74--,i have been dreaming a long
 while in the moonlight1 which floods my
 room with a radiance1 full of vague    
mystery4 ,the state of mind induced in  
us by this fantastic light is itself so 

dim and ghost-like that analysis loses  
its way in it1 and arrives at nothing   
articulate4 ,it is something indefinite 
and intangible1 like the noise of waves 
which is made up of a thousand fused and
 mingled sounds4 ,it is the             
reverberation of all the unsatisfied    
desires of the soul1 of all the stifled 
sorrows of the heart1 mingling in a     
vague sonorous whole1 and dying away in 
cloudy murmurs4 ,all those imperceptible
 regrets1 which never individually reach
 the consciousness1 accumulate at last  
into a definite result2 they become the 
voice of a feeling of emptiness and     
aspiration2 their tone is melancholy    
itself4 ,in youth the tone of these     
,aeolian vibrations of the heart is all 
hope--a proof that these thousands of   
indistinguishable accents make up indeed
 the fundamental note of our being1 and 
reveal the tone of our whole situation4 
,tell me what you feel in your solitary 
room when the full moon is shining in   
upon you and your lamp is dying out1 and

 ,i will tell you how old you are1 and  
,i shall know if you are happy4         
99       99       99       99       99  
,the best path through life is the high 
road1 which initiates us at the right   
moment into all experience4 ,exceptional
 itineraries are suspicious1 and matter 
for anxiety4 ,what is normal is at once 
most convenient1 most honest1 and most  
wholesome4 ,cross roads may tempt us for
 one reason or another1 but it is very  
seldom that we do not come to regret    
having taken them4         99       99  
99       99       99  ,each man begins  
the world afresh1 and not one fault of  
the first man has been avoided by his   
remotest descendant4 ,the collective    
experience of the race accumulates1 but 
individual experience dies with the     
individual1 and the result is that      
institutions become wiser and knowledge 
as such increases2 but the young man1   
although more cultivated1 is just as    
presumptuous1 and not less fallible     
to-day than he ever was4 ,so that       

absolutely there is progress1 and       
relatively there is none4 ,circumstances
 improve1 but merit remains the same4   
,the whole is better1 perhaps1 but man  
is not positively better--he is only    
different4 ,his defects and his virtues 
change their form1 but the total balance
 does not show him to be the richer4 ,a 
thousand things advance1 nine hundred   
and ninety-eight fall back1 this is     
progress4 ,there is nothing in it to be 
proud of1 but something1 after all1 to  
console one4  ,february #d1 #ahgd4--;,i 
am still reading the 8,origines du      
,christianisme0 by ,ernest ,havet4      
,footnote3 ,ernest ,havet1 born #ahac1 a
 distinguished ,french scholar and      
professor4 ,he became professor of      
,latin oratory at the ,collge de ,france
 in #ahee1 and a member of the          
,institute in ,january1 #ahhj4 ,his     
admirable edition of the 8,penses de    
,pascal0 is well-known4 8,le            
,christianisme et ses ,origines10 an    
important book1 in four volumes1 was    

developed from a series of articles in  
the ,revue des deux ,mondes1 and the    
,revue ,contemporaine4 ,i like the book 
and ,i dislike it4 ,i like it for its   
independence and courage2 ,i dislike it 
for the insufficiency of its fundamental
 ideas1 and the imperfection of its     
categories4  ,the author1 for instance1 
has no clear idea of religion2 and his  
philosophy of history is superficial4   
,he is a ,jacobin4 8,the ,republic and  
,free ,thought0--he cannot get beyond   
that4 ,this curt and narrow school of   
opinion is the refuge of men of         
independent mind1 who have been         
scandalized by the colossal fraud of    
ultramontanism2 but it leads rather to  
cursing history than to understanding   
it4 ,it is the criticism of the         
eighteenth century1 of which the general
 result is purely negative4 ,but        
,voltairianism is only the half of the  
philosophic mind4 ,hegel frees thought  
in a very different way4  ,havet1 too1  
makes another mistake4 ,he regards      

,christianity as synonymous with ,roman 
,catholicism and with the church4 ,i    
know very well that the ,roman ,church  
does the same1 and that with her the    
assimilation is a matter of sound       
tactics2 but scientifically it is       
inexact4 ,we ought not even to identify 
,christianity with the gospel1 nor the  
gospel with religion in general4 ,it is 
the business of critical precision to   
clear away these perpetual confusions in
 which ,christian practice and          
,christian preaching abound4 ,to        
disentangle ideas1 to distinguish and   
limit them1 to fit them into their true 
place and order1 is the first duty of   
science whenever it lays hands upon such
 chaotic and complex things as manners1 
idioms1 or beliefs4 ,entanglement is the
 condition of life2 order and clearness 
are the signs of serious and successful 
thought4  ,formerly it was the ideas of 
nature which were a tissue of errors and
 incoherent fancies2 now it is the turn 
of moral and psychological ideas4 ,the  

best issue from the present ,babel would
 be the formation or the sketching out  
of a truly scientific science of man4   
,february #af1 #ahgd4--,the multitude1  
who already possess force1 and even1    
according to the ,republican view1      
right1 have always been persuaded by the
 ,cleons of the day that enlightenment1 
wisdom1 thought1 and reason1 are also   
theirs4 ,the game of these conjurors and
 quacks of universal suffrage has always
 been to flatter the crowd in order to  
make an instrument of it4 ,they pretend 
to adore the puppet of which they pull  
the threads4  ,the theory of radicalism 
is a piece of juggling1 for it supposes 
premises of which it knows the falsity2 
it manufactures the oracle whose        
revelations it pretends to adore2 it    
proclaims that the multitude creates a  
brain for itself1 while all the time it 
is the clever man who is the brain of   
the multitude1 and suggests to it what  
it is supposed to invent4 ,to reign by  
flattery has been the common practice of

 the courtiers of all despotisms1 the   
favorites of all tyrants2 it is an old  
and trite method1 but none the less     
odious for that4  ,the honest politician
 should worship nothing but reason and  
justice1 and it is his business to      
preach them to the masses1 who          
represent1 on an average1 the age of    
childhood and not that of maturity4 ,we 
corrupt childhood if we tell it that it 
cannot be mistaken1 and that it knows   
more than its elders4 ,we corrupt the   
masses when we tell them that they are  
wise and far-seeing and possess the gift
 of infallibility4  ,it is one of       
,montesquieu's subtle remarks1 that the 
more wise men you heap together the less
 wisdom you will obtain4 ,radicalism    
pretends that the greater number of     
illiterate1 passionate1                 
thoughtless--above all1 young people1   
you heap together1 the greater will be  
the enlightenment resulting4 ,the second
 thesis is no doubt the repartee to the 
first1 but the joke is a bad one4 ,all  

that can be got from a crowd is instinct
 or passion2 the instinct may be good1  
but the passion may be bad1 and neither 
is the instinct capable of producing a  
clear idea1 nor the passion of leading  
to a just resolution4  ,a crowd is a    
material force1 and the support of      
numbers gives a proposition the force of
 law2 but that wise and ripened temper  
of mind which takes everything into     
account1 and therefore tends to truth1  
is never engendered by the impetuosity  
of the masses4 ,the masses are the      
material of democracy1 but its          
form--that is to say1 the laws which    
express the general reason1 justice1 and
 utility--can only be rightly shaped by 
wisdom1 which is by no means a universal
 property4 ,the fundamental error of the
 radical theory is to confound the right
 to do good with good itself1 and       
universal suffrage with universal       
wisdom4 ,it rests upon a legal fiction1 
which assumes a real equality of        
enlightenment and merit among those whom

 it declares electors4 ,it is quite     
possible1 however1 that these electors  
may not desire the public good1 and that
 even if they do1 they may be deceived  
as to the manner of realizing it4       
,universal suffrage is not a dogma--it  
is an instrument2 and according to the  
population in whose hands it is placed1 
the instrument is serviceable or deadly 
to the proprietor4  ,february #bg1      
#ahgd4--;,among the peoples1 in whom the
 social gifts are the strongest1 the    
individual fears ridicule above all     
things1 and ridicule is the certain     
result of originality4 ,no one1         
therefore1 wishes to make a party of his
 own2 every one wishes to be on the side
 of all the world4 8,all the world0 is  
the greatest of powers2 it is sovereign1
 and calls itself we4 ,we dress1 we     
dine1 we walk1 we go out1 we come in1   
like this1 and not like that4 ,this we  
is always right1 whatever it does4 ,the 
subjects of ,we are more prostrate than 
the slaves of the ,east before the      

,padishah4 ,the good pleasure of the    
sovereign decides every appeal2 his     
caprice is law4 ,what we does or says is
 called custom1 what it thinks is called
 opinion1 what it believes to be        
beautiful or good is called fashion4    
,among such nations as these we is the  
brain1 the conscience1 the reason1 the  
taste1 and the judgment of all4 ,the    
individual finds everything decided for 
him without his troubling about it4 ,he 
is dispensed from the task of finding   
out anything whatever4 ,provided that he
 imitates1 copies1 and repeats the      
models furnished by we1 he has nothing  
more to fear4 ,he knows all that he need
 know1 and has entered into salvation4  
,april #bi1 #ahgd4--,strange            
reminiscence6 ,at the end of the terrace
 of ,la ,treille1 on the eastern side1  
as ,i looked down the slope1 it seemed  
to me that ,i saw once more in          
imagination a little path which existed 
there when ,i was a child1 and ran      
through the bushy underwood1 which was  

thicker then than it is now4 ,it is at  
least forty years since this impression 
disappeared from my mind4 ,the revival  
of an image so dead and so forgotten set
 me thinking4 ,consciousness seems to be
 like a book1 in which the leaves turned
 by life successively cover and hide    
each other in spite of their            
semi-transparency2 but although the book
 may be open at the page of the present1
 the wind1 for a few seconds1 may blow  
back the first pages into view4  ,and at
 death will these leaves cease to hide  
each other1 and shall we see all our    
past at once8 ,is death the passage from
 the successive to the                  
simultaneous--that is to say1 from time 
to eternity8 ,shall we then understand1 
in its unity1 the poem or mysterious    
episode of our existence1 which till    
then we have spelled out phrase by      
phrase8 ,and is this the secret of that 
glory which so often enwraps the brow   
and countenance of those who are newly  
dead8 ,if so1 death would be like the   

arrival of a traveler at the top of a   
great mountain1 whence he sees spread   
out before him the whole configuration  
of the country1 of which till then he   
had had but passing glimpses4 ,to be    
able to overlook one's own history1 to  
divine its meaning in the general       
concert and in the divine plan1 would be
 the beginning of eternal felicity4     
,till then we had sacrificed ourselves  
to the universal order1 but then we     
should understand and appreciate the    
beauty of that order4 ,we had toiled and
 labored under the conductor of the     
orchestra2 and we should find ourselves 
become surprised and delighted hearers4 
,we had seen nothing but our own little 
path in the mist2 and suddenly a        
marvelous panorama and boundless        
distances would open before our dazzled 
eyes4 ,why not8  ,may #ca1 #ahgd4--;,i  
have been reading the philosophical     
poems of ,madame ,ackermann4 ,she has   
rendered in fine verse that sense of    
desolation which has been so often      

stirred in me by the philosophy of      
,schopenhauer1 of ,hartmann1 ,comte1 and
 ,darwin4 ,what tragic force and power6 
,what thought and passion6 ,she has     
courage for everything1 and attacks the 
most tremendous subjects4  ,science is  
implacable2 will it suppress all        
religions8 ,all those which start from a
 false conception of nature1 certainly4 
,but if the scientific conception of    
nature proves incapable of bringing     
harmony and peace to man1 what will     
happen8 ,despair is not a durable       
situation4 ,we shall have to build a    
moral city without ,god1 without an     
immortality of the soul1 without hope4  
,buddhism and stoicism present          
themselves as possible alternatives4    
,but even if we suppose that there is no
 finality in the cosmos1 it is certain  
that man has ends at which he aims1 and 
if so the notion of end or purpose is a 
real phenomenon1 although a limited one4
 ,physical science may very well be     
limited by moral science1 and vice vers4

 ,but if these two conceptions of the   
world are in opposition1 which must give
 way8  ,i still incline to believe that 
nature is the virtuality of mind--that  
the soul is the fruit of life1 and      
liberty the flower of necessity--that   
all is bound together1 and that nothing 
can be done without4 ,our modern        
philosophy has returned to the point of 
view of the ,ionians1 the ,greek3       
physikoi1 or naturalist thinkers4 ,but  
it will have to pass once more through  
,plato and through ,aristotle1 through  
the philosophy of 8goodness0 and        
8purpose10 through the science of mind4 
,july #c1 #ahgd4--,rebellion against    
common sense is a piece of childishness 
of which ,i am quite capable4 ,but it   
does not last long4 ,i am soon brought  
back to the advantages and obligations  
of my situation2 ,i return to a calmer  
self-consciousness4 ,it is disagreeable 
to me1 no doubt1 to realize all that is 
hopelessly lost to me1 all that is now  
and will be forever denied to me2 but ,i

 reckon up my privileges as well as my  
losses--,i lay stress on what ,i have1  
and not only on what ,i want4 ,and so ,i
 escape from that terrible dilemma of   
8all or nothing10 which for me always   
ends in the adoption of the second      
alternative4 ,it seems to me at such    
times that a man may without shame      
content himself with being some thing   
and some one--    8,ni si haut1 ni si   
bas44440  ,these brusque lapses into the
 formless1 indeterminate state1 are the 
price of my critical faculty4 ,all my   
former habits become suddenly fluid2 it 
seems to me that ,i am beginning life   
over again1 and that all my acquired    
capital has disappeared at a stroke4 ,i 
am forever new-born2 ,i am a mind which 
has never taken to itself a body1 a     
country1 an avocation1 a sex1 a species4
 ,am ,i even quite sure of being a man1 
a ,european1 an inhabitant of this      
earth8 ,it seems to me so easy to be    
something else1 that to be what ,i am   
appears to me a mere piece of arbitrary 

choice4 ,i cannot possibly take an      
accidental structure of which the value 
is purely relative1 seriously4 ,when    
once a man has touched the absolute1 all
 that might be other than what it is    
seems to him indifferent4 ,all these    
ants pursuing their private ends excite 
his mirth4 ,he looks down from the moon 
upon his hovel2 he beholds the earth    
from the heights of the sun2 he         
considers his life from the point of    
view of the ,hindoo pondering the days  
of ,brahma2 he sees the finite from the 
distance of the infinite1 and           
thenceforward the insignificance of all 
those things which men hold to be       
important makes effort ridiculous1      
passion burlesque1 and prejudice absurd4
  ,august #g1 #ahgd4 7,clarens74--,a day
 perfectly beautiful1 luminous1 limpid1 
brilliant4  ,i passed the morning in the
 churchyard2 the 8,oasis0 was           
delightful4 ,innumerable sensations1    
sweet and serious1 peaceful and solemn1 
passed over me4444 ,around me ,russians1

 ,english1 ,swedes1 ,germans1 were      
sleeping their last sleep under the     
shadow of the ,cubly4 ,the landscape was
 one vast splendor2 the woods were deep 
and mysterious1 the roses full blown2   
all around me were butterflies--a noise 
of wings--the murmur of birds4 ,i caught
 glimpses through the trees of distant  
mists1 of soaring mountains1 of the     
tender blue of the lake4444 ,a little   
conjunction of things struck me4 ,two   
ladies were tending and watering a      
grave2 two nurses were suckling their   
children4 ,this double protest against  
death had something touching and        
poetical in it4 8,sleep1 you who are    
dead2 we1 the living1 are thinking of   
you1 or at least carrying on the        
pilgrimage of the race60 such seemed to 
me the words in my ear4 ,it was clear to
 me that the ,oasis of ,clarens is the  
spot in which ,i should like to rest4   
,here ,i am surrounded with memories2   
here death is like a sleep--a sleep     
instinct with hope4         99       99 

99       99       99  ,hope is not      
forbidden us1 but peace and submission  
are the essentials4  ,september #a1     
#ahgd4 7,clarens74--,on waking it seemed
 to me that ,i was staring into the     
future with wide startled eyes4 ,is it  
indeed to me that these things apply4   
,footnote3 ,amiel had just received at  
the hands of his doctor the medical     
verdict1 which was his arrt de mort4    
,incessant and growing humiliation1 my  
slavery becoming heavier1 my circle of  
action steadily narrower6444 ,what is   
hateful in my situation is that         
deliverance can never be hoped for1 and 
that one misery will succeed another in 
such a way as to leave me no breathing  
space1 not even in the future1 not even 
in hope4 ,all possibilities are closed  
to me1 one by one4 ,it is difficult for 
the natural man to escape from a dumb   
rage against inevitable agony4          
,noon4--,an indifferent nature8 ,a      
,satanic principle of things8 ,a good   
and just ,god8 ,three points of view4   

,the second is improbable and horrible4 
,the first appeals to our stoicism4 ,my 
organic combination has never been      
anything but mediocre2 it has lasted as 
long as it could4 ,every man has his    
turn1 and all must submit4 ,to die      
quickly is a privilege2 ,i shall die by 
inches4 ,well1 submit4 ,rebellion would 
be useless and senseless4 ,after all1 ,i
 belong to the better-endowed half of   
human-kind1 and my lot is superior to   
the average4  ,but the third point of   
view alone can give joy4 ,only is it    
tenable8 ,is there a particular         
,providence directing all the           
circumstances of our life1 and therefore
 imposing all our trials upon us for    
educational ends8 ,is this heroic faith 
compatible with our actual knowledge of 
the laws of nature8 ,scarcely2 ,but what
 this faith makes objective we may hold 
as subjective truth4 ,the moral being   
may moralize his sufferings by using    
natural facts for his own inner         
education4 ,what he cannot change he    

calls the will of ,god1 and to will what
 ,god wills brings him peace4  ,to      
nature both our continued existence and 
our morality are equally indifferent4   
,but ,god1 on the other hand1 if ,god   
is1 desires our sanctification2 and if  
suffering purifies us1 then we may      
console ourselves or suffering4 ,this is
 what makes the great advantage of the  
,christian faith2 it is the triumph over
 pain1 the victory over death4 ,there is
 but one thing necessary--death unto    
sin1 the immolation of our selfish will1
 the filial sacrifice of our desires4   
,evil consists in living for self--that 
is to say1 for one's own vanity1 pride1 
sensuality1 or even health4             
,righteousness consists in willingly    
accepting one's lot1 in submitting to1  
and espousing the destiny assigned us1  
in willing what ,god commands1 in       
renouncing what he forbids us1 in       
consenting to what he takes from us or  
refuses us4  ,in my own particular case1
 what has been taken from me is         

health--that is to say1 the surest basis
 of all independence2 but friendship and
 material comfort are still left to me2 
,i am neither called upon to bear the   
slavery of poverty nor the hell of      
absolute isolation4  ,health cut off1   
means marriage1 travel1 study1 and work 
forbidden or endangered4 ,it means life 
reduced in attractiveness and utility by
 five-sixths4  ,thy will be done6       
,september #ad1 #ahgd4 7,charnex74--,a  
long walk and conversation with----4 ,we
 followed a high mountain path4 ,seated 
on the turf1 and talking with open      
heart1 our eyes wandered over the blue  
immensity below us1 and the smiling     
outlines of the shore4 ,all was         
friendly1 azure-tinted1 caressing1 to   
the sight4 ,the soul ,i was reading was 
profound and pure4 ,such an experience  
is like a flight into paradise4 ,a few  
light clouds climbed the broad spaces of
 the sky1 steamers made long tracks upon
 the water at our feet1 white sails were
 dotted over the vast distance of the   

lake1 and sea-gulls like gigantic       
butterflies quivered above its rippling 
surface4  ,september #ba1 #ahgd4        
7,charnex74--,a wonderful day6 ,never   
has the lake been bluer1 or the         
landscape softer4 ,it was enchanting4   
,but tragedy is hidden under the        
eclogue2 the serpent crawls under the   
flowers4 ,all the future is dark4 ,the  
phantoms which for three or four weeks  
,i have been able to keep at bay1 wait  
for me behind the door1 as the          
,eumenides waited for ,orestes4 ,hemmed 
in on all sides6    8,on ne croit plus  
son toile1    ,on sent que derrire la   
toile    ,sont le deuil1 les maux et la 
mort40  ,for a fortnight ,i have been   
happy1 and now this happiness is going4 
,there are no more birds1 but a few     
white or blue butterflies are still     
left4 ,flowers are becoming rare--a few 
daisies in the fields1 some blue or     
yellow chicories and colchicums1 some   
wild geraniums growing among fragments  
of old walls1 and the brown berries of  

the privet--this is all we were able to 
find4 ,in the fields they are digging   
potatoes1 beating down the nuts1 and    
beginning the apple harvest4 ,the leaves
 are thinning and changing color2 ,i    
watch them turning red on the           
pear-trees1 gray on the plums1 yellow on
 the walnut-trees1 and tinging the      
thickly-strewn turf with shades of      
reddish-brown4 ,we are nearing the end  
of the fine weather2 the coloring is the
 coloring of late autumn2 there is no   
need now to keep out of the sun4        
,everything is soberer1 more measured1  
more fugitive1 less emphatic4 ,energy is
 gone1 youth is past1 prodigality at an 
end1 the summer over4 ,the year is on   
the wane and tends toward winter2 it is 
once more in harmony with my own age and
 position1 and next ,sunday it will keep
 my birthday4 ,all these different      
consonances form a melancholy harmony4  
99       99       99       99       99  
,the distinguishing mark of religion is 
not so much liberty as obedience1 and   

its value is measured by the sacrifices 
which it can extract from the           
individual4         99       99       99
       99       99  ,a young girl's love
 is a kind of piety4 ,we must approach  
it with adoration if we are not to      
profane it1 and with poetry if we are to
 understand it4 ,if there is anything in
 the world which gives us a sweet1      
ineffable impression1 of the ideal1 it  
is this trembling modest love4 ,to      
deceive it would be a crime4 ,merely to 
watch its unfolding life is bliss to the
 beholder2 he sees in it the birth of a 
divine marvel4 ,when the garland of     
youth fades on our brow1 let us try at  
least to have the virtues of maturity2  
may we grow better1 gentler1 graver1    
like the fruit of the vine1 while its   
leaf withers and falls4         99      
99       99       99       99  ,to know 
how to grow old is the master work of   
wisdom1 and one of the most difficult   
chapters in the great art of living4    
99       99       99       99       99  

,he who asks of life nothing but the    
improvement of his own nature1 and a    
continuous moral progress toward inward 
contentment and religious submission1 is
 less liable than any one else to miss  
and waste life4  ,january #b1 #ahge4    
7,hyres47--,in spite of my sleeping     
draught ,i have had a bad night4 ,once  
it seemed as if ,i must choke1 for ,i   
could breathe neither way4  ,could ,i be
 more fragile1 more sensitive1 more     
vulnerable6 ,people talk to me as if    
there were still a career before me1    
while all the time ,i know that the     
ground is slipping from under me1 and   
that the defense of my health is already
 a hopeless task4 ,at bottom1 ,i am only
 living on out of complaisance and      
without a shadow of self-delusion4 ,i   
know that not one of my desires will be 
realized1 and for a long time ,i have   
had no desires at all4 ,i simply accept 
what comes to me as though it were a    
bird perching on my window4 ,i smile at 
it1 but ,i know very well that my       

visitor has wings and will not stay     
long4 ,the resignation which comes from 
despair has a kind of melancholy        
sweetness4 ,it looks at life as a man   
sees it from his death-bed1 and judges  
it without bitterness and without vain  
regrets4  ,i no longer hope to get well1
 or to be useful1 or to be happy4 ,i    
hope that those who have loved me will  
love me to the end2 ,i should wish to   
have done them some good1 and to leave  
them a tender memory of myself4 ,i wish 
to die without rebellion and without    
weakness2 that is about all4 ,is this   
relic of hope and of desire still too   
much8 ,let all be as ,god will4 ,i      
resign myself into his hands4  ,january 
#bb1 #ahge4 7,hyres74--,the ,french     
mind1 according to ,gioberti1 apprehends
 only the outward form of truth1 and    
exaggerates it by isolating it1 so that 
it acts as a solvent upon the realities 
with which it works4 ,it takes the      
shadow for the substance1 the word for  
the thing1 appearance for reality1 and  

abstract formula for truth4 ,it lives in
 a world of intellectual assignats4 ,if 
you talk to a ,frenchman of art1 of     
language1 of religion1 of the state1 of 
duty1 of the family1 you feel in his way
 of speaking that his thought remains   
outside the subject1 that he never      
penetrates into its substance1 its      
inmost core4 ,he is not striving to     
understand it in its essence1 but only  
to say something plausible about it4 ,on
 his lips the noblest words become thin 
and empty2 for example--mind1 idea1     
religion4 ,the ,french mind is          
superficial and yet not comprehensive2  
it has an extraordinarily fine edge1 and
 yet no penetrating power4 ,its desire  
is to enjoy its own resources by the    
help of things1 but it has none of the  
respect1 the disinterestedness1 the     
patience1 and the self-forgetfulness1   
which1 are indispensable if we wish to  
see things as they are4 ,far from being 
the philosophic mind1 it is a mere      
counterfeit of it1 for it does not      

enable a man to solve any problem       
whatever1 and remains incapable of      
understanding all that is living1       
complex1 and concrete4 ,abstraction is  
its original sin1 presumption its       
incurable defect1 and plausibility its  
fatal limit4  ,the ,french language has 
no power of expressing truths of birth  
and germination2 it paints effects1     
results1 the caput mortuum1 but not the 
cause1 the motive power1 the native     
force the development of any phenomenon 
whatever4 ,it is analytic and           
descriptive1 but it explains nothing1   
for it avoids all beginnings and        
processes of formation4 ,with it        
crystallization is not the mysterious   
act itself by which a substance passes  
from the fluid state to the solid state4
 ,it is the product of that act4  ,the  
thirst for truth is not a ,french       
passion4 ,in everything appearance is   
preferred to reality1 the outside to the
 inside1 the fashion to the material1   
that which shines to that which profits1

 opinion to conscience4 ,that is to say1
 the ,frenchman's center of gravity is  
always outside him--he is always        
thinking of others1 playing to the      
gallery4 ,to him individuals are so many
 zeros2 the unit which turns them into a
 number must be added from outside2 it  
may be royalty1 the writer of the day1  
the favorite newspaper1 or any other    
temporary master of fashion4 ,all this  
is probably the result of an exaggerated
 sociability1 which weakens the soul's  
forces of resistance1 destroys its      
capacity for investigation and personal 
conviction1 and kills in it the worship 
of the ideal4  ,january #bg1 #ahge4     
7,hyres74--,the whole atmosphere has a  
luminous serenity1 a limpid clearness4  
,the islands are like swans swimming in 
a golden stream4 ,peace1 splendor1      
boundless space6444 ,and ,i meanwhile   
look quietly on while the soft hours    
glide away4 ,i long to catch the wild   
bird1 happiness1 and tame it4 ,above    
all1 ,i long to share it with others4   

,these delicious mornings impress me    
indescribably4 ,they intoxicate me1 they
 carry me away4 ,i feel beguiled out of 
myself1 dissolved in sunbeams1 breezes1 
perfumes1 and sudden impulses of joy4   
,and yet all the time ,i pine for ,i    
know not what intangible ,eden4         
,lamartine in the 8,prludes0 has        
admirably described this oppressive     
effect of happiness on fragile human    
nature4 ,i suspect that the reason for  
it is that the finite creature feels    
itself invaded by the infinite1 and the 
invasion produces dizziness1 a kind of  
vertigo1 a longing to fling one's self  
into the great gulf of being4 ,to feel  
life too intensely is to yearn for      
death2 and for man1 to die means to     
become like unto the gods--to be        
initiated into the great mystery4       
,pathetic and beautiful illusion4  ,ten 
o'clock in the evening4--,from one end  
to the other the day has been perfect1  
and my walk this afternoon to ,beau     
,vallon was one long delight4 ,it was   

like an expedition into ,arcadia4 ,here 
was a wild and woodland corner1 which   
would have made a fit setting for a     
dance of nymphs1 and there an ilex      
overshadowing a rock1 which reminded me 
of an ode of ,horace or a drawing of    
,tibur4 ,i felt a kind of certainty that
 the landscape had much that was ,greek 
in it4 ,and what made the sense of      
resemblance the more striking was the   
sea1 which one feels to be always near1 
though one may not see it1 and which any
 turn of the valley may bring into view4
 ,we found out a little tower with an   
overgrown garden1 of which the owner    
might have been taken for a husbandman  
of the ,odyssey4 ,he could scarcely     
speak any ,french1 but was not without a
 certain grave dignity4 ,i translated to
 him the inscription on his sun-dial1   
8,hora est benefaciendi10 which is      
beautiful1 and pleased him greatly4 ,it 
would be an inspiring place to write a  
novel in4 ,only ,i do not know whether  
the little den would have a decent room1

 and one would certainly have to live   
upon eggs1 milk1 and figs1 like         
,philemon4 ,february #ae1 #ahge4        
7,hyres74--,i have just been reading the
 two last 8,discours0 at the ,french    
,academy1 lingering over every word and 
weighing every idea4 ,this kind of      
writing is a sort of intellectual       
dainty1 for it is the art 8of expressing
 truth with all the courtesy and finesse
 possible20 the art of appearing        
perfectly at ease without the smallest  
loss of manners2 of being gracefully    
sincere1 and of making criticism itself 
a pleasure to the person criticized4    
,legacy as it is from the monarchical   
tradition1 this particular kind of      
eloquence is the distinguishing mark of 
those men of the world who are also men 
of breeding1 and those men of letters   
who are also gentlemen4 ,democracy could
 never have invented it1 and in this    
delicate genre of literature ,france may
 give points to all rival peoples1 for  
it is the fruit of that refined and yet 

vigorous social sense which is produced 
by court and drawing-room life1 by      
literature and good company1 by means of
 a mutual education continued for       
centuries4 ,this complicated product is 
as original in its way as ,athenian     
eloquence1 but it is less healthy and   
less durable4 ,if ever ,france becomes  
,americanized this genre at least will  
perish1 without hope of revival4  ,april
 #af1 #ahge4 7,hyres74--,i have already 
gone through the various emotions of    
leave-taking4 ,i have been wandering    
slowly through the streets and up the   
castle hill1 gathering a harvest of     
images and recollections4 ,already ,i am
 full of regret that ,i have not made a 
better study of the country1 in which ,i
 have now spent four months and more4   
,it is like what happens when a friend  
dies2 we accuse ourselves of having     
loved him too little1 or loved him ill2 
or it is like our own death1 when we    
look back upon life and feel that it has
 been misspent4  ,august                

#af1ahge4--,life is but a daily         
oscillation between revolt and          
submission1 between the instinct of the 
ego1 which is to expand1 to take delight
 in its own tranquil sense of           
inviolability1 if not to triumph in its 
own sovereignty1 and the instinct of the
 soul1 which is to obey the universal   
order1 to accept the will of ,god4  ,the
 cold renunciation of disillusioned     
reason brings no real peace4 ,peace is  
only to be found in reconciliation with 
destiny1 when destiny seems1 in the     
religious sense of the word1 good2 that 
is to say1 when man feels himself       
directly in the presence of ,god4 ,then1
 and then only1 does the will acquiesce4
 ,nay more1 it only completely          
acquiesces when it adores4 ,the soul    
only submits to the hardness of fate by 
virtue of its discovery of a sublime    
compensation--the loving kindness of the
 ,almighty4 ,that is to say1 it cannot  
resign itself to lack or famine1 it     
shrinks from the void around it1 and the

 happiness either of hope or faith is   
essential to it4 ,it may very well vary 
its objects1 but some object it must    
have4 ,it may renounce its former idols1
 but it will demand another cult4 ,the  
soul hungers and thirsts after          
happiness1 and it is in vain that       
everything deserts it--it will never    
submit to its abandonment4  ,august #bh1
 #ahge4 7,geneva74--,a word used by     
,sainte-,beuve  propos of ,benjamin     
,constant has struck me3 it is the word 
consideration4 ,to possess or not to    
possess consideration was to ,madame de 
,stal a matter of supreme               
importance--the loss of it an           
irreparable evil1 the acquirement of it 
a pressing necessity4 ,what1 then1 is   
this good thing8 ,the esteem of the     
public4 ,and how is it gained8 ,by      
honorable character and life1 combined  
with a certain aggregate of services    
rendered and of successes obtained4 ,it 
is not exactly a good conscience1 but it
 is something like it1 for it is the    

witness from without1 if not the witness
 from within4 ,consideration is not     
reputation1 still less celebrity1 fame1 
or glory2 it has nothing to do with     
savoir faire1 and is not always the     
attendant of talent or genius4 ,it is   
the reward given to constancy in duty1  
to probity of conduct4 ,it is the homage
 rendered to a life held to be          
irreproachable4 ,it is a little more    
than esteem1 and a little less than     
admiration4 ,to enjoy public            
consideration is at once a happiness and
 a power4 ,the loss of it is a          
misfortune and a source of daily        
suffering4 ,here am ,i1 at the age of   
fifty-three1 without ever having given  
this idea the smallest place in my life4
 ,it is curious1 but the desire for     
consideration has been to me so little  
of a motive that ,i have not even been  
conscious of such an idea at all4 ,the  
fact shows1 ,i suppose1 that for me the 
audience1 the gallery1 the public1 has  
never had more than a negative          

importance4 ,i have neither asked nor   
expected anything from it1 not even     
justice2 and to be a dependent upon it1 
to solicit its suffrages and its good   
graces1 has always seemed to me an act  
of homage and flunkeyism against which  
my pride has instinctively rebelled4 ,i 
have never even tried to gain the good  
will of a ctere or a newspaper1 nor so  
much as the vote of an elector4 ,and yet
 it would have been a joy to me to be   
smiled upon1 loved1 encouraged1         
welcomed1 and to obtain what ,i was so  
ready to give1 kindness and good will4  
,but to hunt down consideration and     
reputation--to force the esteem of      
others--seemed to me an effort unworthy 
of myself1 almost a degradation4 ,i have
 never even thought of it4  ,perhaps ,i 
have lost consideration by my           
indifference to it4 ,probably ,i have   
disappointed public expectation by thus 
allowing an over-sensitive and irritable
 consciousness to lead me into isolation
 and retreat4 ,i know that the world1   

which is only eager to silence you when 
you do speak1 is angry with your silence
 as soon as its own action has killed in
 you the wish to speak4 ,no doubt1 to be
 silent with a perfectly clear          
conscience a man must not hold a public 
office4 ,i now indeed say to myself that
 a professor is morally bound to justify
 his position by publication2 that      
students1 authorities1 and public are   
placed thereby in a healthier relation  
toward him2 that it is necessary for his
 good repute in the world1 and for the  
proper maintenance of his position4 ,but
 this point of view has not been a      
familiar one to me4 ,i have endeavored  
to give conscientious lectures1 and ,i  
have discharged all the subsidiary      
duties of my post to the best of my     
ability2 but ,i have never been able to 
bend myself to a struggle with hostile  
opinion1 for all the while my heart has 
been full of sadness and disappointment1
 and ,i have known and felt that ,i have
 been systematically and deliberately   

isolated4 ,premature despair and the    
deepest discouragement have been my     
constant portion4 ,incapable of taking  
any interest in my talents for my own   
sake1 ,i let everything slip as soon as 
the hope of being loved for them and by 
them had forsaken me4 ,a hermit against 
my will1 ,i have not even found peace in
 solitude1 because my inmost conscience 
has not been any better satisfied than  
my heart4  ,does not all this make up a 
melancholy lot1 a barren failure of a   
life8 ,what use have ,i made of my      
gifts1 of my special circumstances1 of  
my half-century of existence8 ,what have
 ,i paid back to my country8 ,are all   
the documents ,i have produced1 taken   
together1 my correspondence1 these      
thousands of journal pages1 my lectures1
 my articles1 my poems1 my notes of     
different kinds1 anything better than   
withered leaves8 ,to whom and to what   
have ,i been useful8 ,will my name      
survive me a single day1 and will it    
ever mean anything to anybody8 ,a life  

of no account6 ,a great many comings and
 goings1 a great many scrawls--for      
nothing4 ,when all is added up--nothing6
 ,and worst of all1 it has not been a   
life used up in the service of some     
adored object1 or sacrificed to any     
future hope4 ,its sufferings will have  
been vain1 its renunciations useless1   
its sacrifices gratuitous1 its          
dreariness without reward4444 ,no1 ,i am
 wrong2 it will have had its secret     
treasure1 its sweetness1 its reward4 ,it
 will have inspired a few affections of 
great price2 it will have given joy to a
 few souls2 its hidden existence will   
have had some value4 ,besides1 if in    
itself it has been nothing1 it has      
understood much4 ,if it has not been in 
harmony with the great order1 still it  
has loved it4 ,if it has missed         
happiness and duty1 it has at least felt
 its own nothingness1 and implored its  
pardon4  ,later on4--,there is a great  
affinity in me with the ,hindoo         
genius--that mind1 vast1 imaginative1   

loving1 dreamy1 and speculative1 but    
destitute of ambition1 personality1 and 
will4 ,pantheistic disinterestedness1   
the effacement of the self in the great 
whole1 womanish gentleness1 a horror of 
slaughter1 antipathy to action--these   
are all present in my nature1 in the    
nature at least which has been developed
 by years and circumstances4 ,still the 
,west has also had its part in me4 ,what
 ,i have found difficult is to keep up a
 prejudice in favor of any form1        
nationality1 or individuality whatever4 
,hence my indifference to my own person1
 my own usefulness1 interest1 or        
opinions of the moment4 ,what does it   
all matter8 ,omnis determinatio est     
negatio4 ,grief localizes us1 love      
particularizes us1 but thought delivers 
us from personality4444 ,to be a man is 
a poor thing1 to be a man is well2 to be
 the man--man in essence and in         
principle--that alone is to be desired4 
,yes1 but in these ,brahmanic           
aspirations what becomes of the         

subordination of the individual to duty8
 ,pleasure may lie in ceasing to be     
individual1 but duty lies in performing 
the microscopic task allotted to us4    
,the problem set before us is to bring  
our daily task into the temple of       
contemplation and ply it there1 to act  
as in the presence of ,god1 to interfuse
 one's little part with religion4 ,so   
only can we inform the detail of life1  
all that is passing1 temporary1 and     
insignificant1 with beauty and nobility4
 ,so may we dignify and consecrate the  
meanest of occupations4 ,so may we feel 
that we are paying our tribute to the   
universal work and the eternal will4 ,so
 are we reconciled with life and        
delivered from the fear of death4 ,so   
are we in order and at peace4           
,september #a1 #ahge4--;,i have been    
working for some hours at my article on 
,mme4 de ,stal1 but with what labor1    
what painful effort6 ,when ,i write for 
publication every word is misery1 and my
 pen stumbles at every line1 so anxious 

am ,i to find the ideally best          
expression1 and so great is the number  
of possibilities which open before me at
 every step4  ,composition demands a    
concentration1 decision1 and pliancy    
which ,i no longer possess4 ,i cannot   
fuse together materials and ideas4 ,if  
we are to give anything a form1 we must1
 so to speak1 be the tyrants of it4     
,footnote3 ,compare this paragraph from 
the 8,penses of a new writer1 ,m4       
,joseph ,roux1 a country cur1 living in 
a remote part of the ,bas ,limousin1    
whose thoughts have been edited and     
published this year by ,m4 ,paul        
,mariton 7,paris3 ,alphonse ,lemerre73  
8,le verbe ne souffre et ne connait que 
la volont qui le dompte1 et n'emporte   
loin sans pril que l'intelligence qui   
lui mnage avec empire l'peron et le     
frein40  ,we must treat our subject     
brutally1 and not be always trembling   
lest we are doing it a wrong4 ,we must  
be able to transmute and absorb it into 
our own substance4 ,this sort of        

confident effrontery is beyond me3 my   
whole nature tends to that impersonality
 which respects and subordinates itself 
to the object2 it is love of truth which
 holds me back from concluding and      
deciding4 ,and then ,i am always        
retracing my steps3 instead of going    
forward ,i work in a circle3 ,i am      
afraid of having forgotten a point1 of  
having exaggerated an expression1 of    
having used a word out of place1 while  
all the time ,i ought to have been      
thinking of essentials and aiming at    
breadth of treatment4 ,i do not know how
 to sacrifice anything1 how to give up  
anything whatever4 ,hurtful timidity1   
unprofitable conscientiousness1 fatal   
slavery to detail6  ,in reality ,i have 
never given much thought to the art of  
writing1 to the best way of making an   
article1 an essay1 a book1 nor have ,i  
ever methodically undergone the writer's
 apprenticeship2 it would have been     
useful to me1 and ,i was always ashamed 
of what was useful4 ,i have felt1 as it 

were1 a scruple against trying to       
surprise the secret of the masters of   
literature1 against picking             
chef-d'oeuvres to pieces4 ,when ,i think
 that ,i have always postponed the      
serious study of the art of writing1    
from a sort of awe of it1 and a secret  
love of its beauty1 ,i am furious with  
my own stupidity1 and with my own       
respect4 ,practice and routine would    
have given me that ease1 lightness1 and 
assurance1 without which the natural    
gift and impulse dies away4 ,but on the 
contrary1 ,i have developed two opposed 
habits of mind1 the habit of scientific 
analysis which exhausts the material    
offered to it1 and the habit of         
immediate notation of passing           
impressions4 ,the art of composition    
lies between the two2 you want for it   
both the living unity of the thing and  
the sustained operation of thought4     
,october #be1 #ahge4--;,i have been     
listening to ,m4 ,taine's first lecture 
7on the 8,ancien ,rgime07 delivered in  

the university hall4 ,it was an         
extremely substantial piece of          
work--clear1 instructive1 compact1 and  
full of matter4 ,as a writer he shows   
great skill in the ,french method of    
simplifying his subject by massing it in
 large striking divisions2 his great    
defect is a constant straining after    
points2 his principal merit is the sense
 he has of historical reality1 his      
desire to see things as they are4 ,for  
the rest1 he has extreme openness of    
mind1 freedom of thought1 and precision 
of language4 ,the hall was crowded4     
,october #bf1 #ahge4--;,all origins are 
secret2 the principle of every          
individual or collective life is a      
mystery--that is to say1 something      
irrational1 inexplicable1 not to be     
defined4 ,we may even go farther and    
say1 ,every individuality is an         
insoluble enigma1 and no beginning      
explains it4 ,in fact1 all that has     
become may be explained retrospectively1
 but the beginning of anything whatever 

did not become4 ,it represents always   
the 8fiat lux10 the initial miracle1 the
 act of creation2 for it is the         
consequence of nothing else1 it simply  
appears among anterior things which make
 a milieu1 an occasion1 a surrounding   
for it1 but which are witnesses of its  
appearance without understanding whence 
it comes4  ,perhaps also there are no   
true individuals1 and1 if so1 no        
beginning but one only1 the primordial  
impulse1 the first movement4 ,all men on
 this hypothesis would be but man in two
 sexes2 man again might be reduced to   
the animal1 the animal to the plant1 and
 the only individuality left would be a 
living nature1 reduced to a living      
matter1 to the hylozoism of ,thales4    
,however1 even upon this hypothesis1 if 
there were but one absolute beginning1  
relative beginnings would still remain  
to us as multiple symbols of the        
absolute4 ,every life1 called individual
 for convenience sake and by analogy1   
would represent in miniature the history

 of the world1 and would be to the eye  
of the philosopher a microscopic        
compendium of it4  ,the history of the  
formation of ideas is what1 frees the   
mind4         99       99       99      
99       99  ,a philosophic truth does  
not become popular until some eloquent  
soul has humanized it or some gifted    
personality has translated and embodied 
it4 ,pure truth cannot be assimilated by
 the crowd2 it must be communicated by  
contagion4  ,january #cj1               
#ahgf4--;,after dinner ,i went two steps
 off1 to ,marc ,monnier's1 to hear the  
8,luthier de ,crmone10 a one-act comedy 
in verse1 read by the author1 ,franois  
,coppe4  ,it was a feast of fine        
sensations1 of literary dainties4 ,for  
the little piece is a pearl4 ,it is     
steeped in poetry1 and every line is a  
fresh pleasure to one's taste4  ,this   
young maestro is like the violin he     
writes about1 vibrating and passionate2 
he has1 besides delicacy1 point1 grace1 
all that a writer wants to make what is 

simple1 nave1 heartfelt1 and out of the 
beaten track1 acceptable to a cultivated
 society4  ,how to return to nature     
through art3 there is the problem of all
 highly composite literatures like our  
own4 ,rousseau himself attacked letters 
with all the resources of the art of    
writing1 and boasted the delights of    
savage life with a skill and adroitness 
developed only by the most advanced     
civilization4 ,and it is indeed this    
marriage of contraries which charms us2 
this spiced gentleness1 this learned    
innocence1 this calculated simplicity1  
this yes and no1 this foolish wisdom4   
,it is the supreme irony of such        
combinations which tickles the taste of 
advanced and artificial epochs1 epochs  
when men ask for two sensations at once1
 like the contrary meanings fused by the
 smile of ,la ,gioconda4 ,and our       
satisfaction1 too1 in work of this kind 
is best expressed by that ambiguous     
curve of the lip which says3 ,i feel    
your charm1 but ,i am not your dupe2 ,i 

see the illusion both from within and   
from without2 ,i yield to you1 but ,i   
understand you2 ,i am complaisant1 but  
,i am proud2 ,i am open to sensations1  
yet not the slave of any2 you have      
talent1 ,i have subtlety of perception2 
we are quits1 and we understand each    
other4  ,february #a1 #ahgf4--,this     
evening we talked of the infinitely     
great and the infinitely small4 ,the    
great things of the universe are        
for----so much easier to understand than
 the small1 because all greatness is a  
multiple of herself1 whereas she is     
incapable of analyzing what requires a  
different sort of measurement4  ,it is  
possible for the thinking being to place
 himself in all points of view1 and to  
teach his soul to live under the most   
different modes of being4 ,but it must  
be confessed that very few profit by the
 possibility4 ,men are in general       
imprisoned1 held in a vice by their     
circumstances almost as the animals are1
 but they have very little suspicion of 

it because they have so little faculty  
of self-judgment4 ,it is only the critic
 and the philosopher who can penetrate  
into all states of being1 and realize   
their life from within4  ,when the      
imagination shrinks in fear from the    
phantoms which it creates1 it may be    
excused because it is imagination4 ,but 
when the intellect allows itself to be  
tyrannized over or terrified by the     
categories to which itself gives birth1 
it is in the wrong1 for it is not       
allowed to intellect--the critical power
 of man--to be the dupe of anything4    
,now1 in the superstition of size the   
mind is merely the dupe of itself1 for  
it creates the notion of space4 ,the    
created is not more than the creator1   
the son not more than the father4 ,the  
point of view wants rectifying4 ,the    
mind has to free itself from space1     
which gives it a false notion of itself1
 but it can only attain this freedom by 
reversing things and by learning to see 
space in the mind instead of the mind in

 space4 ,how can it do this8 ,simply by 
reducing space to its virtuality4 ,space
 is dispersion2 mind is concentration4  
,and that is why ,god is present        
everywhere1 without taking up a thousand
 millions of cube leagues1 nor a hundred
 times more nor a hundred times less4   
,in the state of thought the universe   
occupies but a single point2 but in the 
state of dispersion and analysis this   
thought requires the heaven of heavens  
for its expansion4  ,in the same way1   
time and number are contained in the    
mind4 ,man1 as mind1 is not their       
inferior1 but their superior4  ,it is   
true that before he can reach this state
 of freedom his own body must appear to 
him at will either speck or world--that 
is to say1 he must be independent of it4
 ,so long as the self still feels itself
 spatial1 dispersed1 corporeal1 it is   
but a soul1 it is not a mind2 it is     
conscious of itself only as the animal  
is1 the impressionable1 affectionate1   
active and restless animal4  ,the mind  

being the subject of phenomena cannot be
 itself phenomenal2 the mirror of an    
image1 if it was an image1 could not be 
a mirror4 ,there can be no echo without 
a noise4 ,consciousness means some one  
who experiences something4 ,and all the 
somethings together cannot take the     
place of the some one4 ,the phenomenon  
exists only for a point which is not    
itself1 and for which it is an object4  
,the perceptible supposes the perceiver4
  ,may #ae1 #ahgf4--,this morning ,i    
corrected the proofs of the             
8,etrangres40  ,footnote3 ,les          
,etrangres3 ,posies traduites de        
diverses littratures1 par ,h4 ,f4       
,amiel1 #ahgf4 ,here at least is one    
thing off my hands4 ,the piece of prose 
theorizing which ends the volume pleased
 and satisfied me a good deal more than 
my new meters4 ,the book1 as a whole1   
may be regarded as an attempt to solve  
the problem of ,french verse-translation
 considered as a special art4 ,it is    
science applied to poetry4 ,it ought    

not1 ,i think1 to do any discredit to a 
philosopher1 for1 after all1 it is      
nothing but applied psychology4  ,do ,i 
feel any relief1 any joy1 pride1 hope8  
,hardly4 ,it seems to me that ,i feel   
nothing at all1 or at least my feeling  
is so vague and doubtful that ,i cannot 
analyze it4 ,on the whole1 ,i am rather 
tempted to say to myself1 how much labor
 for how small a result--,much ado about
 nothing6 ,and yet the work in itself is
 good1 is successful4 ,but what does    
verse-translation matter8 ,already my   
interest in it is fading2 my mind and my
 energies clamor for something else4    
,what will ,edmond ,scherer say to the  
volume8         99       99       99    
99       99  ,to the inmost self of me  
this literary attempt is quite          
indifferent--a ,lilliputian affair4 ,in 
comparing my work with other work of the
 same kind1 ,i find a sort of relative  
satisfaction2 but ,i see the intrinsic  
futility of it1 and the insignificance  
of its success or failure4 ,i do not    

believe in the public2 ,i do not believe
 in my own work2 ,i have no ambition1   
properly speaking1 and ,i blow          
soap-bubbles for want of something to   
do4    8,car le nant peut seul bien     
cacher l'infini40  ,self-satire1        
disillusion1 absence of prejudice1 may  
be freedom1 but they are not strength4  
,july #ab1 #ahgf4--,trouble on trouble4 
,my cough has been worse than ever4 ,i  
cannot see that the fine weather or the 
holidays have made any change for the   
better in my state of health4 ,on the   
contrary1 the process of demolition     
seems more rapid4 ,it is a painful      
experience1 this premature decay6444    
8,aprs tant de malheurs1 que vous       
reste-t-il8 ,moi40 ,this 8moi0 is the   
central consciousness1 the trunk of all 
the branches which have been cut away1  
that which bears every successive       
mutilation4 ,soon ,i shall have nothing 
else left than bare intellect4 ,death   
reduces us to the mathematical 8point20 
the destruction which precedes it forces

 us back1 as it were1 by a series of    
ever-narrowing concentric circles to    
this last inaccessible refuge4 ,already 
,i have a foretaste of that zero in     
which all forms and all modes are       
extinguished4 ,i see how we return into 
the night1 and inversely ,i understand  
how we issue from it4 ,life is but a    
meteor1 of which the whole brief course 
is before me4 ,birth1 life1 death assume
 a fresh meaning to us at each phase of 
our existence4 ,to see one's self as a  
firework in the darkness--to become a   
witness of one's own fugitive           
phenomenon--this is practical           
psychology4 ,i prefer indeed the        
spectacle of the world1 which is a      
vaster and more splendid firework2 but  
when illness narrows my horizon and     
makes me dwell perforce upon my own     
miseries1 these miseries are still      
capable of supplying food for my        
psychological curiosity4 ,what interests
 me in myself1 in spite of my repulsions
 is1 that ,i find in my own case a      

genuine example of human nature1 and    
therefore a specimen of general value4  
,the sample enables me to understand a  
multitude of similar situations1 and    
numbers of my fellow-men4  ,to enter    
consciously into all possible modes of  
being would be sufficient occupation for
 hundreds of centuries--at least for our
 finite intelligences1 which are        
conditioned by time4 ,the progressive   
happiness of the process1 indeed may be 
easily poisoned and embittered by the   
ambition which asks for everything at   
once1 and clamors to reach the absolute 
at a bound4 ,but it may be answered that
 aspirations are necessarily prophetic1 
for they could only have come into being
 under the action of the same cause     
which will enable them to reach their   
goal4 ,the soul can only imagine the    
absolute because the absolute exists2   
our consciousness of a possible         
perfection is the guarantee that        
perfection will be realized4  ,thought  
itself is eternal4 ,it is the           

consciousness of thought which is       
gradually achieved through the long     
succession of ages1 races1 and          
humanities4 ,such is the doctrine of    
,hegel4 ,the history of the mind is1    
according to him one of approximation to
 the absolute1 and the absolute differs 
at the two ends of the story4 ,it was at
 the beginning2 it knows itself at the  
end4 ,or rather it advances in the      
possession of itself with the gradual   
unfolding of creation4 ,such also was   
the conception of ,aristotle4  ,if the  
history of the mind and of consciousness
 is the very marrow and essence of      
being1 then to be driven back on        
psychology1 even personal psychology1 is
 to be still occupied with the main     
question of things1 to keep to the      
subject1 to feel one's self in the      
center of the universal drama4 ,there is
 comfort in the idea4 ,everything else  
may be taken away from us1 but if       
thought remains we are still connected  
by a magic thread with the axis of the  

world4 ,but we may lose thought and     
speech4 ,then nothing remains but simple
 feeling1 the sense of the presence of  
,god and of death in ,god--the last     
relic of the human privilege1 which is  
to participate in the whole1 to commune 
with the absolute4    8,ta vie est un   
clair qui meurt dans son nuage1    ,mais
 l'clair t'a sauv s'il t'a fait voir le 
ciel40  ,july #bf1 #ahgf4--;,a private  
journal is a friend to idleness4 ,it    
frees us from the necessity of looking  
all round a subject1 it puts up with    
every kind of repetition1 it accompanies
 all the caprices and meanderings of the
 inner life1 and proposes to itself no  
definite end4 ,this journal of mine     
represents the material of a good many  
volumes3 what prodigious waste of time1 
of thought1 of strength6 ,it will be    
useful to nobody1 and even for          
myself--it has rather helped me to shirk
 life than to practice it4 ,a journal   
takes the place of a confidant1 that is1
 of friend or wife2 it becomes a        

substitute for production1 a substitute 
for country and public4 ,it is a        
grief-cheating device1 a mode of escape 
and withdrawal2 but1 factotum as it is1 
though it takes the place of everything1
 properly speaking it represents nothing
 at all4444  ,what is it which makes the
 history of a soul8 ,it is the          
stratification of its different stages  
of progress1 the story of its           
acquisitions and of the general course  
of its destiny4 ,before my history can  
teach anybody anything1 or even interest
 myself1 it must be disentangled from   
its materials1 distilled and simplified4
 ,these thousands of pages are but the  
pile of leaves and bark from which the  
essence has still to be extracted4 ,a   
whole forest of cinchonas are worth but 
one cask of quinine4 ,a whole ,smyrna   
rose-garden goes to produce one vial of 
perfume4  ,this mass of written talk1   
the work of twenty-nine years1 may in   
the end be worth nothing at all2 for    
each is only interested in his own      

romance1 his own individual life4 ,even 
,i perhaps shall never have time to read
 them over myself4 ,so--so what8 ,i     
shall have lived my life1 and life      
consists in repeating the human type1   
and the burden of the human song1 as    
myriads of my kindred have done1 are    
doing1 and will do1 century after       
century4 ,to rise to consciousness of   
this burden and this type is something1 
and we can scarcely achieve anything    
further4 ,the realization of the type is
 more complete1 and the burden a more   
joyous one1 if circumstances are kind   
and propitious1 but whether the puppets 
have done this or that--    8,trois     
p'tits tours et puis s'en vont60        
everything falls into the same gulf at  
last1 and comes to very much the same   
thing4  ,to rebel against fate--to try  
to escape the inevitable issue--is      
almost puerile4 ,when the duration of a 
centenarian and that of an insect are   
quantities sensibly equivalent--and     
geology and astronomy enable us to      

regard such durations from this point of
 view--what is the meaning of all our   
tiny efforts and cries1 the value of our
 anger1 our ambition1 our hope8 ,for the
 dream of a dream it is absurd to raise 
these make-believe tempests4 ,the forty 
millions of infusoria which make up a   
cube-inch of chalk--do they matter much 
to us8 and do the forty millions of men 
who make up ,france matter any more to  
an inhabitant of the moon or ,jupiter8  
,to be a conscious monad--a nothing     
which knows itself to be the microscopic
 phantom of the universe3 this is all we
 can ever attain to4  ,september #ab1   
#ahgf4--,what is your own particular    
absurdity8 ,why1 simply that you exhaust
 yourself in trying to understand wisdom
 without practicing it1 that you are    
always making preparations for nothing1 
that you live without living4           
,contemplation which has not the courage
 to be purely contemplative1            
renunciation which does not renounce    
completely1 chronic contradiction--there

 is your case4 ,inconsistent skepticism1
 irresolution1 not convinced but        
incorrigible1 weakness which will not   
accept itself and cannot transform      
itself into strength--there is your     
misery4  ,the comic side of it lies in  
capacity to direct others1 becoming     
incapacity to direct one's self1 in the 
dream of the infinitely great stopped   
short by the infinitely little1 in what 
seems to be the utter uselessness of    
talent4 ,to arrive at immobility by     
excess of motion1 at zero from abundance
 of numbers1 is a strange farce1 a sad  
comedy2 the poorest gossip can laugh at 
its absurdity4  ,september #ai1         
#ahgf4--,my reading to-day has been     
,doudan's 8,lettres et ,mlanges40       
,footnote3 ,ximns ,doudan1 born in      
#ahjj1 died #ahgb1 the brilliant friend 
and tutor of the ,de ,broglie family1   
whose conversation was so much sought   
after in life1 and whose letters have   
been so eagerly read in ,france since   
his death4 ,compare ,m4 ,scherer's two  

articles on ,doudan's 8,lettres0 and    
8,penses0 in his last published volume  
of essays4 ,a fascinating book6 ,wit1   
grace1 subtlety1 imagination1           
thought--these letters possess them all4
 ,how much ,i regret that ,i never knew 
the man himself4 ,he was a ,frenchman of
 the best type1 un dlicat n sublime1 to 
quote ,sainte-,beuve's expression4      
,fastidiousness of temper1 and a too    
keen love of perfection1 led him to     
withhold his talent from the public1 but
 while still living1 and within his own 
circle1 he was the recognized equal of  
the best4 ,he scarcely lacked anything  
except that fraction of ambition1 of    
brutality and material force which are  
necessary to success in this world2 but 
he was appreciated by the best society  
of ,paris1 and he cared for nothing     
else4 ,he reminds me of ,joubert4       
,september #bjth4--,to be witty is to   
satisfy another's wits by the bestowal  
on him of two pleasures1 that of        
understanding one thing and that of     

guessing another1 and so achieving a    
double stroke4  ,thus ,doudan scarcely  
ever speaks out his thought directly2 he
 disguises and suggests it by imagery1  
allusion1 hyperbole2 he overlays it with
 light irony and feigned anger1 with    
gentle mischief and assumed humility4   
,the more the thing to be guessed       
differs from the thing said1 the more   
pleasant surprise there is for the      
interlocutor or the correspondent       
concerned4 ,these charming and delicate 
ways of expression allow a man to teach 
what he will without pedantry1 and to   
venture what he will without offense4   
,there is something ,attic and aerial in
 them2 they mingle grave and gay1       
fiction and truth1 with a light grace of
 touch such as neither ,la ,fontaine nor
 ,alcibiades would have been ashamed of4
 ,socratic badinage like this           
presupposes a free and equal mind1      
victorious over physical ill and inward 
discontents4 ,such delicate playfulness 
is the exclusive heritage of those rare 

natures in whom subtlety is the disguise
 of superiority1 and taste its          
revelation4 8,what balance of faculties 
and cultivation it requires6 ,what      
personal distinction it shows6 ,perhaps 
only a valetudinarian would have been   
capable of this morbidezza of touch1    
this marriage of virile thought and     
feminine caprice4 ,if there is excess   
anywhere1 it lies perhaps in a certain  
effeminacy of sentiment4 ,doudan can put
 up with nothing but what is            
perfect--nothing but what is absolutely 
harmonious2 all that is rough1 harsh1   
powerful1 brutal1 and unexpected1 throws
 him into convulsions4                  
,audacity--boldness of all kinds--repels
 him4 ,this ,athenian of the ,roman time
 is a true disciple of ,epicurus in all 
matters of sight1 hearing1 and          
intelligence--a crumpled rose-leaf      
disturbs him4    8,une ombre1 un        
souffle1 un rien1 tout lui donnait la   
fivre40  ,what all this softness wants  
is strength1 creative and muscular      

force4 ,his range is not as wide as ,i  
thought it at first4 ,the classical     
world and the ,renaissance--that is to  
say1 the horizon of ,la ,fontaine--is   
his horizon4 ,he is out of his element  
in the ,german or ,slav literatures4 ,he
 knows nothing of ,asia4 ,humanity for  
him is not much larger than ,france1 and
 he has never made a bible of ,nature4  
,in music and painting he is more or    
less exclusive4 ,in philosophy he stops 
at ,kant4 ,to sum up3 he is a man of    
exquisite and ingenious taste1 but he is
 not a first-rate critic1 still less a  
poet1 philosopher1 or artist4 ,he was an
 admirable talker1 a delightful letter  
writer1 who might have become an author 
had he chosen to concentrate himself4 ,i
 must wait for the second volume in     
order to review and correct this        
preliminary impression4  ,midday4--,i   
have now gone once more through the     
whole volume1 lingering over the ,attic 
charm of it1 and meditating on the      
originality and distinction of the man's

 organization4 ,doudan was a keen       
penetrating psychologist1 a diviner of  
aptitudes1 a trainer of minds1 a man of 
infinite taste and talent1 capable of   
every nuance and of every delicacy2 but 
his defect was a want of persevering    
energy of thought1 a lack of patience in
 execution4 ,timidity1 unworldliness1   
indolence1 indifference1 confined him to
 the role of the literary counsellor and
 made him judge of the field in which he
 ought rather to have fought4 ,but do ,i
 mean to blame him8--no indeed6 ,in the 
first place1 it would be to fire on my  
allies2 in the second1 very likely he   
chose the better part4  ,was it not     
,goethe who remarked that in the        
neighborhood of all famous men we find  
men who never achieve fame1 and yet were
 esteemed by those who did1 as their    
equals or superiors8 ,descartes1 ,i     
think1 said the same thing4 ,fame will  
not run after the men who are afraid of 
her4 ,she makes mock of those trembling 
and respectful lovers who deserve but   

cannot force her favors4 ,the public is 
won by the bold1 imperious talents--by  
the enterprising and the skillful4 ,it  
does not believe in modesty1 which it   
regards as a device of impotence4 ,the  
golden book contains but a section of   
the true geniuses2 it names those only  
who have taken glory by storm4          
,november #ae1 #ahgf4--;,i have been    
reading 8,l',avenir ,religieux des      
,peuples ,civiliss10 by ,emile de       
,laveleye4 ,the theory of this writer is
 that the gospel1 in its pure form1 is  
capable of providing the religion of the
 future1 and that the abolition of all  
religious principle1 which is what the  
socialism of the present moment demands1
 is as much to be feared as ,catholic   
superstition4 ,the ,protestant method1  
according to him1 is the means of       
transition whereby sacerdotal           
,christianity passes into the pure      
religion of the gospel4 ,laveleye does  
not think that civilization can last    
without the belief in ,god and in       

another life4 ,perhaps he forgets that  
,japan and ,china prove the contrary4   
,but it is enough to determine him      
against atheism if it can be shown that 
a general atheism would bring about a   
lowering of the moral average4 ,after   
all1 however1 this is nothing but a     
religion of utilitarianism4 ,a belief is
 not true because it is useful4 ,and it 
is truth alone--scientific1 established1
 proved1 and rational truth--which is   
capable of satisfying nowadays the      
awakened minds of all classes4 ,we may  
still say perhaps1 8faith governs the   
world0--but the faith of the present is 
no longer in revelation or in the       
priest--it is in reason and in science4 
,is there a science of goodness and     
happiness8--that is the question4 ,do   
justice and goodness depend upon any    
particular religion8 ,how are men to be 
made free1 honest1 just1 and            
good8--there is the point4  ,on my way  
through the book ,i perceived many new  
applications of my law of irony4 ,every 

epoch has two contradictory aspirations 
which are logically antagonistic and    
practically associated4 ,thus the       
philosophic materialism of the last     
century was the champion of liberty4    
,and at the present moment we find      
,darwinians in love with equality1 while
 ,darwinism itself is based on the right
 of the stronger4 ,absurdity is         
interwoven with life3 real beings are   
animated contradictions1 absurdities    
brought into action4 ,harmony with self 
would mean peace1 repose1 and perhaps   
immobility ,by far the greater number of
 human beings can only conceive action1 
or practice it1 under the form of war--a
 war of competition at home1 a bloody   
war of nations abroad1 and finally war  
with self4 ,so that life is a perpetual 
combat2 it wills that which it wills    
not1 and wills not that it wills4 ,hence
 what ,i call the law of irony--that is 
to say1 the refutation of the self by   
itself1 the concrete realization of the 
absurd4  ,is such a result inevitable8  

,i think not4 ,struggle is the          
caricature of harmony1 and harmony1     
which is the association of contraries1 
is also a principle of movement4 ,war is
 a brutal and fierce means of           
pacification2 it means the suppression  
of resistance by the destruction or     
enslavement of the conquered4 ,mutual   
respect would be a better way out of    
difficulties4 ,conflict is the result of
 the selfishness which will acknowledge 
no other limit than that of external    
force4 ,the laws of animality govern    
almost the whole of history4 ,the       
history of man is essentially           
zoological2 it becomes human late in the
 day1 and then only in the beautiful    
souls1 the souls alive to justice1      
goodness1 enthusiasm1 and devotion4 ,the
 angel shows itself rarely and with     
difficulty through the highly-organized 
brute4 ,the divine aureole plays only   
with a dim and fugitive light around the
 brows of the world's governing race4   
,the ,christian nations offer many      

illustrations of the law of irony4 ,they
 profess the citizenship of heaven1 the 
exclusive worship of eternal good2 and  
never has the hungry pursuit of         
perishable joys1 the love of this world1
 or the thirst for conquest1 been       
stronger or more active than among these
 nations4 ,their official motto is      
exactly the reverse of their real       
aspiration4 ,under a false flag they    
play the smuggler with a droll ease of  
conscience4 ,is the fraud a conscious   
one8 ,no--it is but an application of   
the law of irony4 ,the deception is so  
common a one that the delinquent becomes
 unconscious of it4 ,every nation gives 
itself the lie in the course of its     
daily life1 and not one feels the       
ridicule of its position4 ,a man must be
 a ,japanese to perceive the burlesque  
contradictions of the ,christian        
civilization4 ,he must be a native of   
the moon to understand the stupidity of 
man and his state of constant delusion4 
,the philosopher himself falls under the

 law of irony1 for after having mentally
 stripped himself of all                
prejudice--having1 that is to say1      
wholly laid aside his own personality1  
he finds himself slipping back perforce 
into the rags he had taken off1 obliged 
to eat and drink1 to be hungry1 cold1   
thirsty1 and to behave like all other   
mortals1 after having for a moment      
behaved like no other4 ,this is the     
point where the comic poets are lying in
 wait for him2 the animal needs revenge 
themselves for his flight into the      
,empyrean1 and mock him by their cry3   
,thou art dust1 thou art nothing1 than  
art man6  ,november #bf1 #ahgf4--;,i    
have just finished a novel of           
,cherbuliez1 8,le fianc de ,mademoiselle
 de ,st4 ,maur40 ,it is a jeweled mosaic
 of precious stones1 sparkling with a   
thousand lights4 ,but the heart gets    
little from it4 ,the ,mephistophelian   
type of novel leaves one sad4 ,this     
subtle1 refined world is strangely near 
to corruption2 these artificial women   

have an air of the ,lower ,empire4      
,there is not a character who is not    
witty1 and neither is there one who has 
not bartered conscience for cleverness4 
,the elegance of the whole is but a mask
 of immorality4 ,these stories of       
feeling in which there is no feeling    
make a strange and painful impression   
upon me4  ,december #d1 #ahgf4--;,i have
 been thinking a great deal of ,victor  
,cherbuliez4 ,perhaps his novels make up
 the most disputable part of his        
work--they are so much wanting in       
simplicity1 feeling1 reality4 ,and yet  
what knowledge1 style1 wit1 and         
subtlety--how much thought everywhere1  
and what mastery of language6 ,he       
astonishes one2 ,i cannot but admire    
him4  ,cherbuliez's mind is of immense  
range1 clear-sighted1 keen1 full of     
resource2 he is an ,alexandrian         
exquisite1 substituting for the feeling 
which makes men earnest the irony which 
leaves them free4 ,pascal would say of  
him--8,he has never risen from the order

 of thought to the order of charity40   
,but we must not be ungrateful4 ,a      
,lucian is not worth an ,augustine1 but 
still he is ,lucian4 ,those who         
enfranchise the mind render service to  
man as well as those who persuade the   
heart4 ,after the leaders come the      
liberators1 and the negative and        
critical minds have their place and     
function beside the men of affirmation1 
the convinced and inspired souls4 ,the  
positive element in ,victor             
,cherbuliez's work is beauty1 not       
goodness1 not moral or religious life4  
,aesthetically he is serious2 what he   
respects is style4 ,and therefore he has
 found his vocation2 for he is first and
 foremost a writer--a consummate1       
exquisite1 and model writer4 ,he does   
not win our love1 but he claims our     
homage4  ,in every union there is a     
mystery--a certain invisible bond which 
must not be disturbed4 ,this vital bond 
in the filial relation is respect2 in   
friendship1 esteem2 in marriage1        

confidence2 in the collective life1     
patriotism2 in the religious life1      
faith4 ,such points are best left       
untouched by speech1 for to touch them  
is almost to profane them4         99   
99       99       99       99  ,men of  
genius supply the substance of history1 
while the mass of men are but the       
critical filter1 the limiting1          
slackening1 passive force needed for the
 modification of the ideas supplied by  
genius4 ,stupidity is dynamically the   
necessary balance of intellect4 ,to make
 an atmosphere which human life can     
breathe1 oxygen must be combined with a 
great deal--with three-fourths--of      
azote4 ,and so1 to make history1 there  
must be a great deal of resistance to   
conquer and of weight to drag4  ,january
 #e1 #ahgg4--,this morning ,i am        
altogether miserable1 half-stifled by   
bronchitis--walking a difficulty--the   
brain weak--this last the worst misery  
of all1 for thought is my only weapon   
against my other ills4 ,rapid           

deterioration of all the bodily powers1 
a dull continuous waste of vital organs1
 brain decay3 this is the trial laid    
upon me1 a trial that no one suspects6  
,men pity you for growing old outwardly2
 but what does that matter8--nothing1 so
 long as the faculties are intact4 ,this
 boon of mental soundness to the last   
has been granted to so many students    
that ,i hoped for it a little4 ,alas1   
must ,i sacrifice that too8 ,sacrifice  
is almost easy when we believe it laid  
upon us1 asked of us1 rather1 by a      
fatherly ,god and a watchful            
,providence2 but ,i know nothing of this
 religious joy4 ,the mutilation of the  
self which is going on in me lowers and 
lessens me without doing good to        
anybody4 ,supposing ,i became blind1 who
 would be the gainer8 ,only one motive  
remains to me--that of manly resignation
 to the inevitable--the wish to set an  
example to others--the stoic view of    
morals pure and simple4  ,this moral    
education of the individual soul--is it 

then wasted8 ,when our planet has       
accomplished the cycle of its destinies1
 of what use will it have been to any   
one or anything in the universe8 ,well1 
it will have sounded its note in the    
symphony of creation4 ,and for us1      
individual atoms1 seeing monads1 we     
appropriate a momentary consciousness of
 the whole and the unchangeable1 and    
then we disappear4 ,is not this enough8 
,no1 it is not enough1 for if there is  
not progress1 increase1 profit1 there is
 nothing but a mere chemical play and   
balance of combinations4 ,brahma1 after 
having created1 draws his creation back 
into the gulf4 ,if we are a laboratory  
of the universal mind1 may that mind at 
least profit and grow by us6 ,if we     
realize the supreme will1 may ,god have 
the joy of it6 ,if the trustful humility
 of the soul rejoices him more than the 
greatness of intellect1 let us enter    
into his plan1 his intention4 ,this1 in 
theological language1 is to live to the 
glory of ,god4 ,religion consists in the

 filial acceptation of the divine will  
whatever it be1 provided we see it      
distinctly4 ,well1 can we doubt that    
decay1 sickness1 death1 are in the      
programme of our existence8 ,is not     
destiny the inevitable8 ,and is not     
destiny the anonymous title of him or of
 that which the religions call ,god8 ,to
 descend without murmuring the stream of
 destiny1 to pass without revolt through
 loss after loss1 and diminution after  
diminution1 with no other limit than    
zero before us--this is what is demanded
 of us4 ,involution is as natural as    
evolution4 ,we sink gradually back into 
the darkness1 just as we issued         
gradually from it4 ,the play of         
faculties and organs1 the grandiose     
apparatus of life1 is put back bit by   
bit into the box4 ,we begin by instinct2
 at the end comes a clearness of vision 
which we must learn to bear with and to 
employ without murmuring upon our own   
failure and decay4 ,a musical theme once
 exhausted1 finds its due refuge and    

repose in silence4  ,february #f1       
#ahgg4--;,i spent the evening with the  
----1 and we talked of the anarchy of   
ideas1 of the general want of culture1  
of what it is which keeps the world     
going1 and of the assured march of      
science in the midst of universal       
passion and superstition4  ,what is     
rarest in the world is fair-mindedness1 
method1 the critical view1 the sense of 
proportion1 the capacity for            
distinguishing4 ,the common state of    
human thought is one of confusion1      
incoherence1 and presumption1 and the   
common state of human hearts is a state 
of passion1 in which equity1            
impartiality1 and openness to           
impressions are unattainable4 ,men's    
wills are always in advance of their    
intelligence1 their desires ahead of    
their will1 and accident the source of  
their desires2 so that they express     
merely fortuitous opinions which are not
 worth the trouble of taking seriously1 
and which have no other account to give 

of themselves than this childish one3 ,i
 am1 because ,i am4 ,the art of finding 
truth is very little practiced2 it      
scarcely exists1 because there is no    
personal humility1 nor even any love of 
truth among us4 ,we are covetous enough 
of such knowledge as may furnish weapons
 to our hand or tongue1 as may serve our
 vanity or gratify our craving for      
power2 but self-knowledge1 the criticism
 of our own appetites and prejudices1 is
 unwelcome and disagreeable to us4  ,man
 is a willful and covetous animal1 who  
makes use of his intellect to satisfy   
his inclinations1 but who cares nothing 
for truth1 who rebels against personal  
discipline1 who hates disinterested     
thought and the idea of self-education4 
,wisdom offends him1 because it rouses  
in him disturbance and confusion1 and   
because he will not see himself as he   
is4  ,the great majority of men are but 
tangled skeins1 imperfect keyboards1 so 
many specimens of restless or stagnant  
chaos--and what makes their situation   

almost hopeless is the fact that they   
take pleasure in it4 ,there is no curing
 a sick man who believes himself in     
health4  ,april #e1 #ahgg4--;,i have    
been thinking over the pleasant evening 
of yesterday1 an experience in which the
 sweets of friendship1 the charm of     
mutual understanding1 aesthetic         
pleasure1 and a general sense of        
comfort1 were happily combined and      
intermingled4 ,there was not a crease in
 the rose-leaf4 ,why8 ,because 8all that
 is pure1 all that is honest1 all that  
is excellent1 all that is lovely and of 
good report10 was there gathered        
together4 8,the incorruptibility of a   
gentle and quiet spirit10  innocent     
mirth1 faithfulness to duty1 fine taste 
and sympathetic imagination1 form an    
attractive and wholesome milieu in which
 the soul may rest4  ,the party--which  
celebrated the last day of              
vacation--gave much pleasure1 and not to
 me only4 ,is not making others happy   
the best happiness8 ,to illuminate for  

an instant the depths of a deep soul1 to
 cheer those who bear by sympathy the   
burdens of so many sorrow-laden hearts  
and suffering lives1 is to me a blessing
 and a precious privilege4 ,there is a  
sort of religious joy in helping to     
renew the strength and courage of noble 
minds4 ,we are surprised to find        
ourselves the possessors of a power of  
which we are not worthy1 and we long to 
exercise it purely and seriously4  ,i   
feel most strongly that man1 in all that
 he does or can do which is beautiful1  
great1 or good is but the organ and the 
vehicle of something or some one higher 
than himself4 ,this feeling is religion4
 ,the religious man takes part with a   
tremor of sacred joy in these phenomena 
of which he is the intermediary but not 
the source1 of which he is the scene1   
but not the author1 or rather1 the poet4
 ,he lends them voice1 and will1 and    
help1 but he is respectfully careful to 
efface himself1 that he may alter as    
little as possible the higher work of   

the genius who is making a momentary use
 of him4 ,a pure emotion deprives him of
 personality and annihilates the self in
 him4 ,self must perforce disappear when
 it is the ,holy ,spirit who speaks1    
when it is ,god who acts4 ,this is the  
mood in which the prophet hears the     
call1 the young mother feels the        
movement of the child within1 the       
preacher watches the tears of his       
audience4 ,so long as we are conscious  
of self we are limited1 selfish1 held in
 bondage2 when we are in harmony with   
the universal order1 when we vibrate in 
unison with ,god1 self disappears4      
,thus1 in a perfectly harmonious choir1 
the individual cannot hear himself      
unless he makes a false note4 ,the      
religious state is one of deep          
enthusiasm1 of moved contemplation1 of  
tranquil ecstasy4 ,but how rare a state 
it is for us poor creatures harassed by 
duty1 by necessity1 by the wicked world1
 by sin1 by illness6 ,it is the state   
which produces inward happiness2 but    

alas6 the foundation of existence1 the  
common texture of our days1 is made up  
of action1 effort1 struggle1 and        
therefore dissonance4 ,perpetual        
conflict1 interrupted by short and      
threatened truces--there is a true      
picture of our human condition4  ,let us
 hail1 then1 as an echo from heaven1 as 
the foretaste of a more blessed economy1
 these brief moments of perfect harmony1
 these halts between two storms4 ,peace 
is not in itself a dream1 but we know it
 only as the result of a momentary      
equilibrium--an accident4 8,happy are   
the peacemakers1 for they shall be      
called the children of ,god40  ,april   
#bf1 #ahgg4--;,i have been turning over 
again the 8,paris0 of ,victor ,hugo     
7#ahfg74 ,for ten years event after     
event has given the lie to the prophet1 
but the confidence of the prophet in his
 own imaginings is not therefore a whit 
diminished4 ,humility and common sense  
are only fit for ,lilliputians4 ,victor 
,hugo superbly ignores everything that  

he has not foreseen4 ,he does not see   
that pride is a limitation of the mind1 
and that a pride without limitations is 
a littleness of soul4 ,if he could but  
learn to compare himself with other men1
 and ,france with other nations1 he     
would see things more truly1 and would  
not fall into these mad exaggerations1  
these extravagant judgments4 ,but       
proportion and fairness will never be   
among the strings at his command4 ,he is
 vowed to the ,titanic2 his gold is     
always mixed with lead1 his insight with
 childishness1 his reason with madness4 
,he cannot be simple2 the only light he 
has to give blinds you like that of a   
fire4 ,he astonishes a reader and       
provokes him1 he moves him and annoys   
him4 ,there is always some falsity of   
note in him1 which accounts for the     
malaise he so constantly excites in me4 
,the great poet in him cannot shake off 
the charlatan4  ,a few shafts of        
,voltairean irony would have shriveled  
the inflation of his genius and made it 

stronger by making it saner4 ,it is a   
public misfortune that the most powerful
 poet of a nation should not have better
 understood his role1 and that1 unlike  
those ,hebrew prophets who scourged     
because they loved1 he should devote    
himself proudly and systematically to   
the flattery of his countrymen4 ,france 
is the world2 ,paris is ,france2 ,hugo  
is ,paris2 peoples1 bow down6  ,may #b1 
#ahgg4--,which nation is best worth     
belonging to8 ,there is not one in which
 the good is not counterbalanced by     
evil4 ,each is a caricature of man1 a   
proof that no one among them deserves to
 crush the others1 and that all have    
something to learn from all4 ,i am      
alternately struck with the qualities   
and with the defects of each1 which is  
perhaps lucky for a critic4 ,i am       
conscious of no preference for the      
defects of north or south1 of west or   
east2 and ,i should find a difficulty in
 stating my own predilections4 ,indeed  
,i myself am wholly indifferent in the  

matter1 for to me the question is not   
one of liking or of blaming1 but of     
understanding4 ,my point of view is     
philosophical--that is to say1 impartial
 and impersonal4 ,the only type which   
pleases me is perfection--man1 in short1
 the ideal man4 ,as for the national    
man1 ,i bear with and study him1 but ,i 
have no admiration for him4 ,i can only 
admire the fine specimens of the race1  
the great men1 the geniuses1 the lofty  
characters and noble souls1 and         
specimens of these are to be found in   
all the ethnographical divisions4 ,the  
8country of my choice0 7to quote ,madame
 de ,stal7 is with the chosen souls4 ,i 
feel no greater inclination toward the  
,french1 the ,germans1 the ,swiss1 the  
,english1 the ,poles1 the ,italians1    
than toward the ,brazilians or the      
,chinese4 ,the illusions of patriotism1 
of ,chauvinist1 family1 or professional 
feeling1 do not exist for me4 ,my       
tendency1 on the contrary1 is to feel   
with increased force the lacunas1       

deformities1 and imperfections of the   
group to which ,i belong4 ,my           
inclination is to see things as they    
are1 abstracting my own individuality1  
and suppressing all personal will and   
desire2 so that ,i feel antipathy1 not  
toward this or that1 but toward error1  
prejudice1 stupidity1 exclusiveness1    
exaggeration4 ,i love only justice and  
fairness4 ,anger and annoyance are with 
me merely superficial2 the fundamental  
tendency is toward impartiality and     
detachment4 ,inward liberty and         
aspiration toward the true--these are   
what ,i care for and take pleasure in4  
,june #d1 #ahgg4--;,i have just heard   
the 8,romeo and ,juliet0 of ,hector     
,berlioz4 ,the work is entitled         
8,dramatic symphony for orchestra1 with 
choruses40 ,the execution was extremely 
good4 ,the work is interesting1 careful1
 curious1 and suggestive1 but it leaves 
one cold4 ,when ,i come to reason out my
 impression ,i explain it in this way4  
,to subordinate man to things--to annex 

the human voice1 as a mere supplement1  
to the orchestra--is false in idea4 ,to 
make simple narrative out of dramatic   
material1 is a derogation1 a piece of   
levity4 ,a ,romeo and ,juliet in which  
there is no ,romeo and no ,juliet is an 
absurdity4 ,to substitute the inferior1 
the obscure1 the vague1 for the higher  
and the clear1 is a challenge to common 
sense4 ,it is a violation of that       
natural hierarchy of things which is    
never violated with impunity4 ,the      
musician has put together a series of   
symphonic pictures1 without any inner   
connection1 a string of riddles1 to     
which a prose text alone supplies       
meaning and unity4 ,the only            
intelligible voice which is allowed to  
appear in the work is that of ,friar    
,laurence3 his sermon could not be      
expressed in chords1 and is therefore   
plainly sung4 ,but the moral of a play  
is not the play1 and the play itself has
 been elbowed out by recitative4  ,the  
musician of the present day1 not being  

able to give us what is beautiful1      
torments himself to give us what is new4
 ,false originality1 false grandeur1    
false genius6 ,this labored art is      
wholly antipathetic to me4 ,science     
simulating genius is but a form of      
quackery4  ,berlioz as a critic is      
cleverness itself2 as a musician he is  
learned1 inventive1 and ingenious1 but  
he is trying to achieve the greater when
 he cannot compass the lesser4  ,thirty 
years ago1 at ,berlin1 the same         
impression was left upon me by his      
8,infancy of ,christ10 which ,i heard   
him conduct himself4 ,his art seems to  
me neither fruitful nor wholesome2 there
 is no true and solid beauty in it4  ,i 
ought to say1 however1 that the         
audience1 which was a fairly full one1  
seemed very well satisfied4  ,july #ag1 
#ahgg4--,yesterday ,i went through my   
,la ,fontaine1 and noticed the omissions
 in him4 ,he has neither butterfly nor  
rose4 ,he utilizes neither the crane1   
nor the quail1 nor the dromedary1 nor   

the lizard4 ,there is not a single echo 
of chivalry in him4 ,for him1 the       
history of ,france dates from ,louis    
,,xiv4 ,his geography only ranges1 in   
reality1 over a few square miles1 and   
touches neither the ,rhine nor the      
,loire1 neither the mountains nor the   
sea4 ,he never invents his subjects1 but
 indolently takes them ready-made from  
elsewhere4 ,but with all this what an   
adorable writer1 what a painter1 what an
 observer1 what a humorist1 what a      
story-teller6 ,i am never tired of      
reading him1 though ,i know half his    
fables by heart4 ,in the matter of      
vocabulary1 turns1 tones1 phrases1      
idioms1 his style is perhaps the richest
 of the great period1 for it combines1  
in the most skillful way1 archaism and  
classic finish1 the ,gallic and the     
,french elements4 ,variety1 satire1     
finesse1 feeling1 movement1 terseness1  
suavity1 grace1 gayety1 at times even   
nobleness1 gravity1                     
grandeur--everything--is to be found in 

him4 ,and then the happiness of the     
epithets1 the piquancy of the sayings1  
the felicity of his rapid sketches and  
unforeseen audacities1 and the          
unforgettable sharpness of phrase6 ,his 
defects are eclipsed by his immense     
variety of different aptitudes4  ,one   
has only to compare his 8,woodcutter and
 ,death0 with that of ,boileau in order 
to estimate the enormous difference     
between the artist and the critic who   
found fault with his work4 ,la ,fontaine
 gives you a picture of the poor peasant
 under the monarchy2 ,boileau shows you 
nothing but a man perspiring under a    
heavy load4 ,the first is a historical  
witness1 the second a mere academic     
rhymer4 ,from ,la ,fontaine it is       
possible to reconstruct the whole       
society of his epoch1 and the old       
,champenois with his beasts remains the 
only ,homer ,france has ever possessed4 
,he has as many portraits of men and    
women as ,la ,bruyre1 and ,molire is not
 more humorous4  ,his weak side is his  

epicureanism1 with its tinge of         
grossness4 ,this1 no doubt1 was what    
made ,lamartine dislike him4 ,the       
religious note is absent from his lyre2 
there is nothing in him which shows any 
contact with ,christianity1 any         
knowledge of the sublimer tragedies of  
the soul4 ,kind nature is his goddess1  
,horace his prophet1 and ,montaigne his 
gospel4 ,in other words1 his horizon is 
that of the ,renaissance4 ,this pagan   
island in the full ,catholic stream is  
very curious2 the paganism of it is so  
perfectly sincere and nave4 ,but indeed1
 ,reblais1 ,molire1 ,saint ,evremond1   
are much more pagan than ,voltaire4 ,it 
is as though1 for the genuine           
,frenchman1 ,christianity was a mere    
pose or costume--something which has    
nothing to do with the heart1 with the  
real man1 or his deeper nature4 ,this   
division of things is common in ,italy  
too4 ,it is the natural effect of       
political religions3 the priest becomes 
separated from the layman1 the believer 

from the man1 worship from sincerity4   
,july #ah1 #ahgg4--;,i have just come   
across a character in a novel with a    
passion for synonyms1 and ,i said to    
myself3 ,take care--that is your        
weakness too4 ,in your search for close 
and delicate expression1 you run through
 the whole gamut of synonyms1 and your  
pen works too often in series of three4 
,beware6 ,avoid mannerisms and tricks2  
they are signs of weakness4 ,subject and
 occasion only must govern the use of   
words4 ,procedure by single epithet     
gives strength2 the doubling of a word  
gives clearness1 because it supplies the
 two extremities of the series2 the     
trebling of it gives completeness by    
suggesting at once the beginning1       
middle1 and end of the idea2 while a    
quadruple phrase may enrich by force of 
enumeration4  ,indecision being my      
principal defect1 ,i am fond of a       
plurality of phrases which are but so   
many successive approximations and      
corrections4 ,i am especially fond of   

them in this journal1 where ,i write as 
it comes4 ,in serious composition two   
is1 on the whole1 my category4 ,but it  
would be well to practice one's self in 
the use of the single word--of the shaft
 delivered promptly and once for all4 ,i
 should have indeed to cure myself of   
hesitation first4 ,i see too many ways  
of saying things2 a more decided mind   
hits on the right way at once4          
,singleness of phrase implies courage1  
self-confidence1 clear-sightedness4 ,to 
attain it there must be no doubting1 and
 ,i am always doubting4 ,and yet--      
8,quiconque est loup agisse en loup2    
,c'est le plus certain de beaucoup40  ,i
 wonder whether ,i should gain anything 
by the attempt to assume a character    
which is not mine4 ,my wavering manner1 
born of doubt and scruple1 has at least 
the advantage of rendering all the      
different shades of my thought1 and of  
being sincere4 ,if it were to become    
terse1 affirmative1 resolute1 would it  
not be a mere imitation8  ,a private    

journal1 which is but a vehicle for     
meditation and reverie1 beats about the 
bush as it pleases without being hound  
to make for any definite end4           
,conversation with self is a gradual    
process of thought-clearing4 ,hence all 
these synonyms1 these waverings1 these  
repetitions and returns upon one's self4
 ,affirmation maybe brief2 inquiry takes
 time2 and the line which thought       
follows is necessarily an irregular one4
  ,i am conscious indeed that at bottom 
there is but one right expression2      
,footnote3 ,compare ,la ,bruyre3        
8,entre toutes les differentes          
expressions qui peuvent rendre une seule
 de nos penses il n'y en a qu'une qui   
soit la bonne2 on ne la rencontre pas   
toujours en parlant ou en crivant3 il   
est vray nanmoins qu'elle existe1 que   
tout ce qui ne l'est point est foible1  
et ne satisfait point un homme d'esprit 
qui veut se faire entendre40 but in     
order to find it ,i wish to make my     
choice among all that are like it2 and  

my mind instinctively goes through a    
series of verbal modulations in search  
of that shade which may most accurately 
render the idea4 ,or sometimes it is the
 idea itself which has to be turned over
 and over1 that ,i may know it and      
apprehend it better4 ,i think1 pen in   
hand2 it is like the disentanglement1   
the winding-off of a skein4 ,evidently  
the corresponding form of style cannot  
have the qualities which belong to      
thought which is already sure of itself1
 and only seeks to communicate itself to
 others4 ,the function of the private   
journal is one of observation1          
experiment1 analysis1 contemplation2    
that of the essay or article is to      
provoke reflection2 that of the book is 
to demonstrate4  ,july #ba1 #ahgg4--;,a 
superb night--a starry sky--,jupiter and
 ,phoebe holding converse before my     
windows4 ,grandiose effects of light and
 shade over the courtyard4 ,a sonata    
rose from the black gulf of shadow like 
a repentant prayer wafted from          

purgatory4 ,the picturesque was lost in 
poetry1 and admiration in feeling4      
,july #cj1 #ahgg4-- 444 makes a very    
true remark about ,renan1 a propos of   
the volume of 8,les ,evangiles40 ,he    
brings out the contradiction between the
 literary taste of the artist1 which is 
delicate1 individual1 and true1 and the 
opinions of the critic1 which are       
borrowed1 old-fashioned and wavering4   
,this hesitancy of choice between the   
beautiful and the true1 between poetry  
and prose1 between art and learning1 is1
 in fact1 characteristic4 ,renan has a  
keen love for science1 but he has a     
still keener love for good writing1 and1
 if necessary1 he will sacrifice the    
exact phrase to the beautiful phrase4   
,science is his material rather than his
 object2 his object is style4 ,a fine   
passage is ten times more precious in   
his eyes than the discovery of a fact or
 the rectification of a date4 ,and on   
this point ,i am very much with him1 for
 a beautiful piece of writing is        

beautiful by virtue of a kind of truth  
which is truer than any mere record of  
authentic facts4 ,rousseau also thought 
the same4 ,a chronicler may be able to  
correct ,tacitus1 but ,tacitus survives 
all the chroniclers4 ,i know well that  
the aesthetic temptation is the ,french 
temptation2 ,i have often bewailed it1  
and yet1 if ,i desired anything1 it     
would be to be a writer1 a great writer4
 ,te leave a monument behind1 aere      
perennius1 an imperishable work which   
might stir the thoughts1 the feelings1  
the dreams of men1 generation after     
generation--this is the only glory which
 ,i could wish for1 if ,i were not      
weaned even from this wish also4 ,a book
 would be my ambition1 if ambition were 
not vanity and vanity of vanities4      
,august #aa1 #ahgg4--,the growing       
triumph of ,darwinism--that is to say of
 materialism1 or of force--threatens the
 conception of justice4 ,but justice    
will have its turn4 ,the higher human   
law cannot be the offspring of          

animality4 ,justice is the right to the 
maximum of individual independence      
compatible with the same liberty for    
others2 in other words1 it is respect   
for man1 for the immature1 the small1   
the feeble2 it is the guarantee of those
 human collectivities1 associations1    
states1 nationalities--those voluntary  
or involuntary unions--the object of    
which is to increase the sum of         
happiness1 and to satisfy the aspiration
 of the individual4 ,that some should   
make use of others for their own        
purposes is an injury to justice4 ,the  
right of the stronger is not a right1   
but a simple fact1 which obtains only so
 long as there is neither protest nor   
resistance4 ,it is like cold1 darkness1 
weight1 which tyrannize over man until  
he has invented artificial warmth1      
artificial light1 and machinery4 ,human 
industry is throughout an emancipation  
from brute nature1 and the advances made
 by justice are in the same way a series
 of rebuffs inflicted upon the tyranny  

of the stronger4 ,as the medical art    
consists in the conquest of disease1 so 
goodness consists in the conquest of the
 blind ferocities and untamed appetites 
of the human animal4 ,i see the same law
 throughout--increasing emancipation of 
the individual1 a continuous ascent of  
being toward life1 happiness1 justice1  
and wisdom4 ,greed and gluttony are the 
starting-point1 intelligence and        
generosity the goal4  ,august #ba1      
#ahgg4 7,baths of ,ems74--,in the salon 
there has been a performance in chorus  
of 8,lorelei0 and other popular airs4   
,what in our country is only done for   
worship is done also in ,germany for    
poetry and music4 ,voices blend         
together2 art shares the privilege of   
religion4 ,it is a trait which is       
neither ,french nor ,english1 nor1 ,i   
think1 ,italian4 ,the spirit of artistic
 devotion1 of impersonal combination1 of
 common1 harmonious1 disinterested      
action1 is specially ,german2 it makes a
 welcome balance to certain clumsy and  

prosaic elements in the race4           
,later4--,perhaps the craving for       
independence of thought--the tendency to
 go back to first principles--is really 
proper to the ,germanic mind only4 ,the 
,slavs and the ,latins are governed     
rather by the collective wisdom of the  
community1 by tradition1 usage1         
prejudice1 fashion2 or1 if they break   
through these1 they are like slaves in  
revolt1 without any real living         
apprehension of the law inherent in     
things--the true law1 which is neither  
written1 nor arbitrary1 nor imposed4    
,the ,german wishes to get at nature2   
the ,frenchman1 the ,spaniard1 the      
,russian1 stop at conventions4 ,the root
 of the problem is in the question of   
the relations between ,god and the      
world4 ,immanence or                    
transcendence--that1 step by step1      
decides the meaning of everything else4 
,if the mind is radically external to   
things1 it is not called upon to conform
 to them4 ,if the mind is destitute of  

native truth1 it must get its truth from
 outside1 by revelations4 ,and so you   
get thought despising nature1 and in    
bondage to the church--so you have the  
,latin world6  ,november #f1 #ahgg4     
7,geneva74--,we talk of love many years 
before we know anything about it1 and we
 think we know it because we talk of it1
 or because we repeat what other people 
say of it1 or what books tell us about  
it4 ,so that there are ignorances of    
different degrees1 and degrees of       
knowledge which are quite deceptive4    
,one of the worst plagues of society is 
this thoughtless inexhaustible          
verbosity1 this careless use of words1  
this pretense of knowing a thing because
 we talk about it--these counterfeits of
 belief1 thought1 love1 or earnestness1 
which all the while are mere babble4    
,the worst of it is1 that as self-love  
is behind the babble1 these ignorances  
of society are in general ferociously   
affirmative2 chatter mistakes itself for
 opinion1 prejudice poses as principle4 

,parrots behave as though they were     
thinking beings2 imitations give        
themselves out as originals2 and        
politeness demands the acceptance of the
 convention4 ,it is very wearisome4     
,language is the vehicle of this        
confusion1 the instrument of this       
unconscious fraud1 and all evils of the 
kind are enormously increased by        
universal education1 by the periodical  
press1 and by all the other processes of
 vulgarization in use at the present    
time4 ,every one deals in paper money2  
few have ever handled gold4 ,we live on 
symbols1 and even on the symbols of     
symbols2 we have never grasped or       
verified things for ourselves2 we judge 
everything1 and we know nothing4  ,how  
seldom we meet with originality1        
individuality1 sincerity1               
nowadays6--with men who are worth the   
trouble of listening to6 ,the true self 
in the majority is lost in the borrowed 
self4 ,how few are anything else than a 
bundle of inclinations--anything more   

than animals--whose language and whose  
gait alone recall to us the highest rank
 in nature6  ,the immense majority of   
our species are candidates for humanity1
 and nothing more4 ,virtually we are    
men2 we might be1 we ought to be1 men2  
but practically we do not succeed in    
realizing the type of our race4         
,semblances and counterfeits of men fill
 up the habitable earth1 people the     
islands and the continents1 the country 
and the town4 ,if we wish to respect men
 we must forget what they are1 and think
 of the ideal which they carry hidden   
within them1 of the just man and the    
noble1 the man of intelligence and      
goodness1 inspiration and creative      
force1 who is loyal and true1 faithful  
and trustworthy1 of the higher man1 in  
short1 and that divine thing we call a  
soul4 ,the only men who deserve the name
 are the heroes1 the geniuses1 the      
saints1 the harmonious1 puissant1 and   
perfect samples of the race4  ,very few 
individuals deserve to be listened to1  

but all deserve that our curiosity with 
regard to them should be a pitiful      
curiosity--that the insight we bring to 
bear on them should be charged with     
humility4 ,are we not all shipwrecked1  
diseased1 condemned to death8 ,let each 
work out his own salvation1 and blame no
 one but himself2 so the lot of all will
 be bettered4 ,whatever impatience we   
may feel toward our neighbor1 and       
whatever indignation our race may rouse 
in us1 we are chained one to another1   
and1 companions in labor and misfortune1
 have everything to lose by mutual      
recrimination and reproach4 ,let us be  
silent as to each other's weakness1     
helpful1 tolerant1 nay1 tender toward   
each other6 ,or1 if we cannot feel      
tenderness1 may we at least feel pity6  
,may we put away from us the satire     
which scourges and the anger which      
brands2 the oil and wine of the good    
,samaritan are of more avail4 ,we may   
make the ideal a reason for contempt2   
but it is more beautiful to make it a   

reason for tenderness4  ,december #i1   
#ahgg4--,the modern haunters of         
,parnassus ,footnote3 ,amiel's          
expression is ,les ,parnassieus1 an old 
name revived1 which nowadays describes  
the younger school of ,french poetry    
represented by such names as ,thophile  
,gautier1 ,leconte de ,lisle1 ,thodore  
de ,bauville1 and ,baudelaire4 ,the     
modern use of the word dates from the   
publication of 8,la ,parnasse           
,contemporain0 7,lemerre1 #ahff74 carve 
urns of agate and of onyx1 but inside   
the urns what is there8--ashes4 ,their  
work lacks feeling1 seriousness1        
sincerity1 and pathos--in a word1 soul  
and moral life4 ,i cannot bring myself  
to sympathize with such a way of        
understanding poetry4 ,the talent shown 
is astonishing1 but stuff and matter are
 wanting4 ,it is an effort of the       
imagination to stand alone--a substitute
 for everything else4 ,we find          
metaphors1 rhymes1 music1 color1 but not
 man1 not humanity4 ,poetry of this     

factitious kind may beguile one at      
twenty1 but what can one make of it at  
fifty8 ,it reminds me of ,pergamos1 of  
,alexandria1 of all the epochs of       
decadence when beauty of form hid       
poverty of thought and exhaustion of    
feeling4 ,i strongly share the          
repugnance which this poetical school   
arouses in simple people4 ,it is as     
though it only cared to please the      
world-worn1 the over-subtle1 the        
corrupted1 while it ignores all normal  
healthy life1 virtuous habits1 pure     
affections1 steady labor1 honesty1 and  
duty4 ,it is an affectation1 and because
 it is an affectation the school is     
struck with sterility4 ,the reader      
desires in the poet something better    
than a juggler in rhyme1 or a conjurer  
in verse2 he looks to find in him a     
painter of life1 a being who thinks1    
loves1 and has a conscience1 who feels  
passion and repentance4         99      
99       99       99       99           
,composition is a process of            

combination1 in which thought puts      
together complementary truths1 and      
talent fuses into harmony the most      
contrary qualities of style4  ,so that  
there is no composition without effort1 
without pain even1 as in all bringing   
forth4 ,the reward is the giving birth  
to something living--something1 that is 
to say1 which1 by a kind of magic1 makes
 a living unity out of such opposed     
attributes as orderliness and           
spontaneity1 thought and imagination1   
solidity and charm4  ,the true critic   
strives for a clear vision of things as 
they are--for justice and fairness2 his 
effort is to get free from himself1 so  
that he may in no way disfigure that    
which he wishes to understand or        
reproduce4 ,his superiority to the      
common herd lies in this effort1 even   
when its success is only partial4 ,he   
distrusts his own senses1 he sifts his  
own impressions1 by returning upon them 
from different sides and at different   
times1 by comparing1 moderating1        

shading1 distinguishing1 and so         
endeavoring to approach more and more   
nearly to the formula which represents  
the maximum of truth4         99        
99       99       99       99  ,is it   
not the sad natures who are most        
tolerant of gayety8 ,they know that     
gayety means impulse and vigor1 that    
generally speaking it is disguised      
kindliness1 and that if it were a mere  
affair of temperament and mood1 still it
 is a blessing4         99       99     
99       99       99  ,the art which is 
grand and yet simple is that which      
presupposes the greatest elevation both 
in artist and in public4  ,how much     
folly is compatible with ultimate wisdom
 and prudence8 ,it is difficult to say4 
,the cleverest folk are those who       
discover soonest how to utilize their   
neighbor's experience1 and so get rid in
 good time of their natural presumption4
  ,we must try to grasp the spirit of   
things1 to see correctly1 to speak to   
the point1 to give practicable advice1  

to act on the spot1 to arrive at the    
proper moment1 to stop in time4 ,tact1  
measure1 occasion--all these deserve our
 cultivation and respect4         99    
99       99       99       99  ,april   
#bb1 #ahgh4--,letter from my cousin     
,julia4 ,these kind old relations find  
it very difficult to understand a man's 
life1 especially a student's life4 ,the 
hermits of reverie are scared by the    
busy world1 and feel themselves out of  
place in action4 ,but after all1 we do  
not change at seventy1 and a good1 pious
 old lady1 half-blind and living in a   
village1 can no longer extend her point 
of view1 nor form any idea of existences
 which have no relation with her own4   
,what is the link by which these souls1 
shut in and encompassed as they are by  
the details of daily life1 lay hold on  
the ideal8 ,the link of religious       
aspiration4 ,faith is the plank which   
saves them4 ,they know the meaning of   
the higher life2 their soul is athirst  
for heaven4 ,their opinions are         

defective1 but their moral experience is
 great2 their intellect is full of      
darkness but their souls is full of     
light4 ,we scarcely know how to talk to 
them about the things of earth1 but they
 are ripe and mature in the things of   
the heart4 ,if they cannot understand   
us1 it is for us to make advances to    
them1 to speak their language1 to enter 
into their range of ideas1 their modes  
of feeling4 ,we must approach them on   
their noble side1 and1 that we may show 
them the more respect1 induce them to   
open to us the casket of their most     
treasured thoughts4 ,there is always    
some grain of gold at the bottom of     
every honorable old age4 ,let it be our 
business to give it an opportunity of   
showing itself to affectionate eyes4    
,may #aj1 #ahgh4--;,i have just come    
back from a solitary walk4 ,i heard     
nightingales1 saw white lilac and       
orchard trees in bloom4 ,my heart is    
full of impressions showered upon it by 
the chaffinches1 the golden orioles1 the

 grasshoppers1 the hawthorns1 and the   
primroses4 ,a dull1 gray1 fleecy sky    
brooded with a certain melancholy over  
the nuptial splendors of vegetation4    
,many painful memories stirred afresh in
 me2 at ,pr l',evque1 at ,jargonnant1 at
 ,villereuse1 a score of                
phantoms--phantoms of youth--rose with  
sad eyes to greet me4 ,the walls had    
changed1 and roads which were once shady
 and dreamy ,i found now waste and      
treeless4 ,but at the first trills of   
the nightingale a flood of tender       
feeling filled my heart4 ,i felt myself 
soothed1 grateful1 melted2 a mood of    
serenity and contemplation took         
possession of me4 ,a certain little     
path1 a very kingdom of green1 with     
fountain1 thickets1 gentle ups and      
downs1 and an abundance of              
singing-birds1 delighted me1 and did me 
inexpressible good4 ,its peaceful       
remoteness brought back the bloom of    
feeling4 ,i had need of it4  ,may #ai1  
#ahgh4--;,criticism is above all a gift1

 an intuition1 a matter of tact and     
flair2 it cannot be taught or           
demonstrated--it is an art4 ,critical   
genius means an aptitude for discerning 
truth under appearances or in disguises 
which conceal it2 for discovering it in 
spite of the errors of testimony1 the   
frauds of tradition1 the dust of time1  
the loss or alteration of texts4 ,it is 
the sagacity of the hunter whom nothing 
deceives for long1 and whom no ruse can 
throw off the trail4 ,it is the talent  
of the ,juge d',instruction1 who knows  
how to interrogate circumstances1 and to
 extract an unknown secret from a       
thousand falsehoods4 ,the true critic   
can understand everything1 but he will  
be the dupe of nothing1 and to no       
convention will he sacrifice his duty1  
which is to find out and proclaim truth4
 ,competent learning1 general           
cultivation1 absolute probity1 accuracy 
of general view1 human sympathy and     
technical capacity--how many things are 
necessary to the critic1 without        

reckoning grace1 delicacy1 savoir vivre1
 and the gift of happy phrase-making6   
,july #bf1 #ahgh4--;,every morning ,i   
wake up with the same sense of vain     
struggle against a mountain tide which  
is about to overwhelm me4 ,i shall die  
by suffocation1 and the suffocation has 
begun2 the progress it has already made 
stimulates it to go on4  ,how can one   
make any plans when every day brings    
with it some fresh misery8 ,i cannot    
even decide on a line of action in a    
situation so full of confusion and      
uncertainty in which ,i look forward to 
the worst1 while yet all is doubtful4   
,have ,i still a few years before me or 
only a few months8 ,will death be slow  
or will it come upon me as a sudden     
catastrophe8 ,how am ,i to bear the days
 as they come8 how am ,i to fill them8  
,how am ,i to die with calmness and     
dignity8 ,i know not4 ,everything ,i do 
for the first time ,i do badly2 but here
 everything is new2 there can be no help
 from experience2 the end must be a     

chance6 ,how mortifying for one who has 
set so great a price upon               
independence--to depend upon a thousand 
unforeseen contingencies6 ,he knows not 
how he will act or what he will become2 
he would fain speak of these things with
 a friend of good sense and good        
counsel--but who8 ,he dares not alarm   
the affections which are most his own1  
and he is almost sure that any others   
would try to distract his attention1 and
 would refuse to see the position as it 
is4  ,and while ,i wait 7wait for       
what8--certainty87 the weeks flow by    
like water1 and strength wastes away    
like a smoking candle4444  ,is one free 
to let one's self drift into death      
without resistance8 ,is                 
self-preservation a duty8 ,do we owe it 
to those who love us to prolong this    
desperate struggle to its utmost limit8 
,i think so1 but it is one fetter the   
more4 ,for we must then feign a hope    
which we do not feel1 and hide the      
absolute discouragement of which the    

heart is really full4 ,well1 why not8   
,those who succumb are bound in         
generosity not to cool the ardor of     
those who are still battling1 still     
enjoying4  ,two parallel roads lead to  
the same result2 meditation paralyzes   
me1 physiology condemns me4 ,my soul is 
dying1 my body is dying4 ,in every      
direction the end is closing upon me4   
,my own melancholy anticipates and      
endorses the medical judgment which     
says1 8,your journey is done40 ,the two 
verdicts point to the same result--that 
,i have no longer a future4 ,and yet    
there is a side of me which says1       
8,absurd60 which is incredulous1 and    
inclined to regard it all as a bad      
dream4 ,in vain the reason asserts it2  
the mind's inward assent is still       
refused4 ,another contradiction6  ,i    
have not the strength to hope1 and ,i   
have not the strength to submit4 ,i     
believe no longer1 and ,i believe still4
 ,i feel that ,i am dying1 and yet ,i   
cannot realize that ,i am dying4 ,is it 

madness already8 ,no1 it is human nature
 taken in the act2 it is life itself    
which is a contradiction1 for life means
 an incessant death and a daily         
resurrection2 it affirms and it denies1 
it destroys and constructs1 it gathers  
and scatters1 it humbles and exalts at  
the same time4 ,to live is to die       
partially--to feel one's self in the    
heart of a whirlwind of opposing        
forces--to be an enigma4  ,if the       
invisible type molded by these two      
contradictory currents--if this form    
which presides over all my changes of   
being--has itself general and original  
value1 what does it matter whether it   
carries on the game a few months or     
years longer1 or not8 ,it has done what 
it had to do1 it has represented a      
certain unique combination1 one         
particular expression of the race4      
,these types are shadows--manes4        
,century after century employs itself in
 fashioning them4 ,glory--fame--is the  
proof that one type has seemed to the   

other types newer1 rarer1 and more      
beautiful than the rest4 ,the common    
types are souls too1 only they have no  
interest except for the ,creator1 and   
for a small number of individuals4  ,to 
feel one's own fragility is well1 but to
 be indifferent to it is better4 ,to    
take the measure of one's own misery is 
profitable1 but to understand its raison
 d'tre is still more profitable4 ,to    
mourn for one's self is a last sign of  
vanity2 we ought only to regret that    
which has real values1 and to regret    
one's self1 is to furnish involuntary   
evidence that one had attached          
importance to one's self4 ,at the same  
time it is a proof of ignorance of our  
true worth and function4 ,it is not     
necessary to live1 but it is necessary  
to preserve one's type unharmed1 to     
remain faithful to one's idea1 to       
protect one's monad against alteration  
and degradation4  ,november #g1         
#ahgh4--,to-day we have been talking of 
realism in painting1 and1 in connection 

with it1 of that poetical and artistic  
illusion which does not aim at being    
confounded with reality itself4 ,realism
 wishes to entrap sensation2 the object 
of true art is only to charm the        
imagination1 not to deceive the eye4    
,when we see a good portrait we say1    
8,it is alive60--in other words1 our    
imagination lends it life4 ,on the other
 hand1 a wax figure produces a sort of  
terror in us2 its frozen life-likeness  
makes a deathlike impression on us1 and 
we say1 8,it is a ghost60 ,in the one   
case we see what is lacking1 and demand 
it2 in the other we see what is given   
us1 and we give on our side4 ,art1 then1
 addresses itself to the imagination2   
everything that appeals to sensation    
only is below art1 almost outside art4  
,a work of art ought to set the poetical
 faculty in us to work1 it ought to stir
 us to imagine1 to complete our         
perception of a thing4 ,and we can only 
do this when the artist leads the way4  
,mere copyist's painting1 realistic     

reproduction1 pure imitation1 leave us  
cold because their author is a machine1 
a mirror1 an iodized plate1 and not a   
soul4  ,art lives by appearances1 but   
these appearances are spiritual visions1
 fixed dreams4 ,poetry represents to us 
nature become con-substantial with the  
soul1 because in it nature is only a    
reminiscence touched with emotion1 an   
image vibrating with our own life1 a    
form without weight--in short1 a mode of
 the soul4 ,the poetry which is most    
real and objective is the expression of 
a soul which throws itself into things1 
and forgets itself in their presence    
more readily than others2 but still1 it 
is the expression of the soul1 and hence
 what we call style4 ,style may be only 
collective1 hieratic1 national1 so long 
as the artist is still the interpreter  
of the community2 it tends to become    
personal in proportion as society makes 
room for individuality and favors its   
expansion4         99       99       99 
99       99  ,there is a way of killing 

truth by truths4 ,under the pretense    
that we want to study it more in detail 
we pulverize the statue--it is an       
absurdity of which our pedantry is      
constantly guilty4 ,those who can only  
see the fragments of a thing are to me  
esprits faux1 just as much as those who 
disfigure the fragments4 ,the good      
critic ought to be master of the three  
capacities1 the three modes of seeing   
men and things--he should be able       
simultaneously to see them as they are1 
as they might be1 and as they ought to  
be4         99       99       99        
99       99  ,modern culture is a       
delicate electuary made up of varied    
savors and subtle colors1 which can be  
more easily felt than measured or       
defined4 ,its very superiority consists 
in the complexity1 the association of   
contraries1 the skillful combination it 
implies4 ,the man of to-day1 fashioned  
by the historical and geographical      
influences of twenty countries and of   
thirty centuries1 trained and modified  

by all the sciences and all the arts1   
the supple recipient of all literatures1
 is an entirely new product4 ,he finds  
affinities1 relationships1 analogies    
everywhere1 but at the same time he     
condenses and sums up what is elsewhere 
scattered4 ,he is like the smile of ,la 
,gioconda1 which seems to reveal a soul 
to the spectator only to leave him the  
more certainly under a final impression 
of mystery1 so many different things are
 expressed in it at once4         99    
99       99       99       99  ,to      
understand things we must have been once
 in them and then have come out of them2
 so that first there must be captivity  
and then deliverance1 illusion followed 
by disillusion1 enthusiasm by           
disappointment4 ,he who is still under  
the spell1 and he who has never felt the
 spell1 are equally incompetent4 ,we    
only know well what we have first       
believed1 then judged4 ,to understand we
 must be free1 yet not have been always 
free4 ,the same truth holds1 whether it 

is a question of love1 of art1 of       
religion1 or of patriotism4 ,sympathy is
 a first condition of criticism2 reason 
and justice presuppose1 at their origin1
 emotion4         99       99       99  
99       99  ,what is an intelligent    
man8 ,a man who enters with ease and    
completeness into the spirit of things  
and the intention of persons1 and who   
arrives at an end by the shortest route4
 ,lucidity and suppleness of thought1   
critical delicacy and inventive         
resource1 these are his attributes4     
99       99       99       99       99  
,analysis kills spontaneity4 ,the grain 
once ground into flour springs and      
germinates no more4         99       99 
99       99       99  ,january #c1      
#ahgi4--,letter from----4 ,this kind    
friend of mine has no pity4444 ,i have  
been trying to quiet his over-delicate  
susceptibilities4444 ,it is difficult to
 write perfectly easy letters when one  
finds them studied with a magnifying    
glass1 and treated like monumental      

inscriptions1 in which each character   
has been deliberately engraved with a   
view to an eternity of life4 ,such      
disproportion between the word and its  
commentary1 between the playfulness of  
the writer and the analytical temper of 
the reader1 is not favorable to ease of 
style4 ,one dares not be one's natural  
self with these serious folk who attach 
importance to everything2 it is         
difficult to write open-heartedly if one
 must weigh every phrase and every word4
  ,esprit means taking things in the    
sense which they are meant to have1     
entering into the tone of other people1 
being able to place one's self on the   
required level2 esprit is that just and 
accurate sense which divines1           
appreciates1 and weighs quickly1        
lightly1 and well4 ,the mind must have  
its play1 the ,muse is winged--the      
,greeks knew it1 and ,socrates4         
,january #ac1 #ahgi4--;,it is impossible
 for me to remember what letters ,i     
wrote yesterday4 ,a single night digs a 

gulf between the self of yesterday and  
the self of to-day4 ,my life is without 
unity of action1 because my actions     
themselves are escaping from the control
 of memory4 ,my mental power1 occupied  
in gaining possession of itself under   
the form of consciousness1 seems to be  
letting go its hold on all that         
generally peoples the understanding1 as 
the glacier throws off the stones and   
fragments fallen into its crevasses1    
that it may remain pure crystal4 ,the   
philosophic mind is both to overweight  
itself with too many material facts or  
trivial memories4 ,thought clings only  
to thought--that is to say1 to itself1  
to the psychological process4 ,the      
mind's only ambition is for an enriched 
experience4 ,it finds its pleasure in   
studying the play of its own facilities1
 and the study passes easily into an    
aptitude and habit4 ,reflection becomes 
nothing more than an apparatus for the  
registration of the impressions1        
emotions1 and ideas which pass across   

the mind4 ,the whole moulting process is
 carried on so energetically that the   
mind is not only unclothed1 but stripped
 of itself1 and1 so to speak1           
de-substantiated4 ,the wheel turns so   
quickly that it melts around the        
mathematical axis1 which alone remains  
cold because it is impalpable1 and has  
no thickness4 ,all this is natural      
enough1 but very dangerous4  ,so long as
 one is numbered among the living--so   
long1 that is to say1 as one is still   
plunged in the world of men1 a sharer of
 their interests1 conflicts1 vanities1  
passions1 and duties1 one is bound to   
deny one's self this subtle state of    
consciousness2 one must consent to be a 
separate individual1 having one's       
special name1 position1 age1 and sphere 
of activity4 ,in spite of all the       
temptations of impersonality1 one must  
resume the position of a being          
imprisoned within certain limits of time
 and space1 an individual with special  
surroundings1 friends1 enemies1         

profession1 country1 bound to house and 
feed himself1 to make up his accounts   
and look after his affairs2 in short1   
one must behave like all the world4     
,there are days when all these details  
seem to me a dream--when ,i wonder at   
the desk under my hand1 at my body      
itself--when ,i ask myself if there is a
 street before my house1 and if all this
 geographical and topographical         
phantasmagoria is indeed real4 ,time and
 space become then mere specks2 ,i      
become a sharer in a purely spiritual   
existence2 ,i see myself sub specie     
oeternitatis4  ,is not mind simply that 
which enables us to merge finite reality
 in the infinite possibility around it8 
,or1 to put it differently1 is not mind 
the universal virtuality1 the universe  
latent8 ,if so1 its zero would be the   
germ of the infinite1 which is expressed
 mathematically by the double zero      
7#jj74  ,deduction3 that the mind may   
experience the infinite in itself2 that 
in the human individual there arises    

sometimes the divine spark which reveals
 to him the existence of the original1  
fundamental1 principal ,being1 within   
which all is contained like a series    
within its generating formula4 ,the     
universe is but a radiation of mind2 and
 the radiations of the ,divine mind are 
for us more than appearances2 they have 
a reality parallel to our own4 ,the     
radiations of our mind are imperfect    
reflections from the great show of      
fireworks set in motion by ,brahma1 and 
great art is great only because of its  
conformities with the ,divine           
order--with that which is4  ,ideal      
conceptions are the mind's anticipation 
of such an order4 ,the mind is capable  
of them because it is mind1 and1 as     
such1 perceives the ,eternal4 ,the real1
 on the contrary1 is fragmentary and    
passing4 ,law alone is eternal4 ,the    
ideal is then the imperishable hope of  
something better--the mind's involuntary
 protest against the present1 the leaven
 of the future working in it4 ,it is the

 supernatural in us1 or rather the      
super-animal1 and the ground of human   
progress4 ,he who has no ideal contents 
himself with what is2 he has no quarrel 
with facts1 which for him are identical 
with the just1 the good1 and the        
beautiful4  ,but why is the divine      
radiation imperfect8 ,because it is     
still going on4 ,our planet1 for        
example1 is in the mid-course of its    
experience4 ,its flora and fauna are    
still changing4 ,the evolution of       
humanity is nearer its origin than its  
close4 ,the complete spiritualization of
 the animal element in nature seems to  
be singularly difficult1 and it is the  
task of our species4 ,its performance is
 hindered by error1 evil1 selfishness1  
and death1 without counting telluric    
catastrophes4 ,the edifice of a common  
happiness1 a common science of morality 
and justice1 is sketched1 but only      
sketched4 ,a thousand retarding and     
perturbing causes hinder this giant's   
task1 in which nations1 races1 and      

continents take part4 ,at the present   
moment humanity is not yet constituted  
as a physical unity1 and its general    
education is not yet begun4 ,all our    
attempts at order as yet have been local
 crystallizations4 ,now1 indeed1 the    
different possibilities are beginning to
 combine 7union of posts and telegraphs1
 universal exhibitions1 voyages round   
the globes1 international congresses1   
etc474 ,science and common interest are 
binding together the great fractions of 
humanity1 which religion and language   
have kept apart4 ,a year in which there 
has been talk of a network of ,african  
railways1 running from the coast to the 
center and bringing the ,atlantic1 the  
,mediterranean1 and the ,indian ,ocean  
into communication with each other--such
 a year is enough to mark a new epoch4  
,the fantastic has become the           
conceivable1 the possible tends to      
become the real2 the earth becomes the  
garden of man4 ,man's chief problem is  
how to make the cohabitation of the     

individuals of his species possible2    
how1 that is to say1 to secure for each 
successive epoch the law1 the order1 the
 equilibrium which befits it4 ,division 
of labor allows him to explore in every 
direction at once2 industry1 science1   
art1 law1 education1 morals1 religion1  
politics1 and economical relations--all 
are in process of birth4  ,thus         
everything may be brought back to zero  
by the mind1 but it is a fruitful       
zero--a zero which contains the universe
 and1 in particular1 humanity4 ,the mind
 has no more difficulty in tracking the 
real within the innumerable than in     
apprehending infinite possibility4 #jj  
may issue from #j1 or may return to it4 
,january #ai1                           
#ahgi4--;,charity--goodness--places a   
voluntary curb on acuteness of          
perception2 it screens and softens the  
rays of a too vivid insight2 it refuses 
to see too clearly the ugliness and     
misery of the great intellectual        
hospital around it4 ,true goodness is   

loth to recognize any privilege in      
itself2 it prefers to be humble and     
charitable2 it tries not to see what    
stares it in the face--that is to say1  
the imperfections1 infirmities1 and     
errors of humankind2 its pity puts on   
airs of approval and encouragement4 ,it 
triumphs over its own repulsions that it
 may help and raise4  ,it has often been
 remarked that ,vinet praised weak      
things4 ,if so1 it was not from any     
failure in his own critical sense2 it   
was from charity4 8,quench not the      
smoking flax10--to which ,i add1 8,never
 give unnecessary pain40 ,the cricket is
 not the nightingale2 why tell him so8  
,throw yourself into the mind of the    
cricket--the process is newer and more  
ingenious2 and it is what charity       
commands4  ,intellect is aristocratic1  
charity is democratic4 ,in a democracy  
the general equality of pretensions1    
combined with the inequality of merits1 
creates considerable practical          
difficulty2 some get out of it by making

 their prudence a muzzle on their       
frankness2 others1 by using kindness as 
a corrective of perspicacity4 ,on the   
whole1 kindness is safer than reserve2  
it inflicts no wound1 and kills nothing4
  ,charity is generous2 it runs a risk  
willingly1 and in spite of a hundred    
successive experiences1 it thinks no    
evil at the hundred-and-first4 ,we      
cannot be at the same time kind and     
wary1 nor can we serve two masters--love
 and selfishness4 ,we must be knowingly 
rash1 that we may not be like the clever
 ones of the world1 who never forget    
their own interests4 ,we must be able to
 submit to being deceived2 it is the    
sacrifice which interest and self-love  
owe to conscience4 ,the claims of the   
soul must be satisfied first if we are  
to be the children of ,god4  ,was it not
 ,bossuet who said1 8,it is only the    
great souls who know all the grandeur   
there is in charity80  ,january #ba1    
#ahgi4--;,at first religion holds the   
place of science and philosophy2        

afterward she has to learn to confine   
herself to her own domain--which is in  
the inmost depths of conscience1 in the 
secret recesses of the soul1 where life 
communes with the ,divine will and the  
universal order4 ,piety is the daily    
renewing of the ideal1 the steadying of 
our inner being1 agitated1 troubled1 and
 embittered by the common accidents of  
existence4 ,prayer is the spiritual     
balm1 the precious cordial which        
restores to us peace and courage4 ,it   
reminds us of pardon and of duty4 ,it   
says to us1 8,thou art loved--love2 thou
 hast received--give2 thou must         
die--labor while thou canst2 overcome   
anger by kindness2 overcome evil with   
good4 ,what does the blindness of       
opinion matter1 or misunderstanding1 or 
ingratitude8 ,thou art neither bound to 
follow the common example nor to        
succeed4 ,fais ce que dois1 advienne que
 pourra4 ,thou hast a witness in thy    
conscience2 and thy conscience is ,god  
speaking to thee60  ,march #c1          

#ahgi4--,the sensible politician is     
governed by considerations of social    
utility1 the public good1 the greatest  
attainable good2 the political windbag  
starts from the idea of the rights of   
the individual--abstract rights1 of     
which the extent is affirmed1 not       
demonstrated1 for the political right of
 the individual is precisely what is in 
question4 ,the revolutionary school     
always forgets that right apart from    
duty is a compass with one leg4 ,the    
notion of right inflates the individual 
fills him with thoughts of self and of  
what others owe him1 while it ignores   
the other side of the question1 and     
extinguishes his capacity for devoting  
himself to a common cause4 ,the state   
becomes a shop with self-interest for a 
principle--or rather an arena1 in which 
every combatant fights for his own hand 
only4 ,in either case self is the motive
 power4  ,church and state ought to     
provide two opposite careers for the    
individual2 in the state he should be   

called on to give proof of merit--that  
is to say1 he should earn his rights by 
services rendered2 in the church his    
task should be to do good while         
suppressing his own merits1 by a        
voluntary act of humility4  ,extreme    
individualism dissipates the moral      
substance of the individual4 ,it leads  
him to subordinate everything to        
himself1 and to think the world2        
society1 the state1 made for him4 ,i am 
chilled by its lack of gratitude1 of the
 spirit of deference1 of the instinct of
 solidarity4 ,it is an ideal without    
beauty and without grandeur4  ,but1 as a
 consolation1 the modern zeal for       
equality makes a counterpoise for       
,darwinism1 just as one wolf holds      
another wolf in check4 ,neither1 indeed1
 acknowledges the claim of duty4 ,the   
fanatic for equality affirms his right  
not to be eaten by his neighbor2 the    
,darwinian states the fact that the big 
devour the little1 and adds--so much the
 better4 ,neither the one nor the other 

has a word to say of love1 of eternity1 
of kindness1 of piety1 of voluntary     
submission1 of self-surrender4  ,all    
forces and all principles are brought   
into action at once in this world4 ,the 
result is1 on the whole1 good4 ,but the 
struggle itself is hateful because it   
dislocates truth and shows us nothing   
but error pitted against error1 party   
against party2 that is to say1 mere     
halves and fragments of being--monsters 
against monsters4 ,a nature in love with
 beauty cannot reconcile itself to the  
sight2 it longs for harmony1 for        
something else than perpetual           
dissonance4 ,the common condition of    
human society must indeed be accepted2  
tumult1 hatred1 fraud1 crime1 the       
ferocity of self-interest1 the tenacity 
of prejudice1 are perennial2 but the    
philosopher sighs over it2 his heart is 
not in it2 his ambition is to see human 
history from a height2 his ear is set to
 catch the music of the eternal spheres4
  ,march #ae1 #ahgi4--;,i have been     

turning over 8,les histories de mon     
,parrain0  by ,stahl1 and a few chapters
 of 8,nos ,fils et nos ,filles0 by      
,legouv4 ,these writers press wit1      
grace1 gayety1 and charm into the       
service of goodness2 their desire is to 
show that virtue is not so dull nor     
common sense so tiresome as people      
believe4 ,they are persuasive moralists1
 captivating story-tellers2 they rouse  
the appetite for good4 ,this pretty     
manner of theirs1 however1 has its      
dangers4 ,a moral wrapped up in sugar   
goes down certainly1 but it may be      
feared that it only goes down because of
 its sugar4 ,the ,sybarites of to-day   
will tolerate a sermon which is delicate
 enough to flatter their literary       
sensuality2 but it is their taste which 
is charmed1 not their conscience which  
is awakened2 their principle of conduct 
escapes untouched4  ,amusement1         
instruction1 morals1 are distinct       
genres4 ,they may no doubt be mingled   
and combined1 but if we wish to obtain  

direct and simple effects1 we shall do  
best to keep them apart4 ,the           
well-disposed child1 besides1 does not  
like mixtures which have something of   
artifice and deception in them4 ,duty   
claims obedience2 study requires        
application2 for amusement1 nothing is  
wanted but good temper4 ,to convert     
obedience and application into means of 
amusement is to weaken the will and the 
intelligence4 ,these efforts to make    
virtue the fashion are praiseworthy     
enough1 but if they do honor to the     
writers1 on the other hand they prove   
the moral anaemia of society4 ,when the 
digestion is unspoiled1 so much         
persuading is not necessary to give it a
 taste for bread4  ,may #bb1ahgi4       
7,ascension ,day74--,wonderful and      
delicious weather4 ,soft1 caressing     
sunlight--the air a limpid              
blue--twitterings of birds2 even the    
distant voices of the city have         
something young and springlike in them4 
,it is indeed a new birth4 ,the         

ascension of the ,saviour of men is     
symbolized by this expansion1 this      
heavenward yearning of nature4444 ,i    
feel myself born again2 all the windows 
of the soul are clear4 ,forms1 lines1   
tints1 reflections1 sounds1 contrasts1  
and harmonies1 the general play and     
interchange of things--it is all        
enchanting6 ,the atmosphere is steeped  
in joy4 ,may is in full beauty4  ,in my 
courtyard the ivy is green again1 the   
chestnut tree is full of leaf1 the      
,persian lilac beside the little        
fountain is flushed with red1 and just  
about to flower2 through the wide       
openings to the right and left of the   
old ,college of ,calvin ,i see the      
,salve above the trees of ,st4 ,antoine1
 the ,voiron above the hill of ,cologny2
 while the three flights of steps which1
 from landing to landing1 lead between  
two high walls from the ,rue ,verdaine  
to the terrace of the ,tranches1 recall 
to one's imagination some old city of   
the south1 a glimpse of ,perugia or of  

,malaga4  ,all the bells are ringing4   
,it is the hour of worship4 ,a          
historical and religious impression     
mingles with the picturesque1 the       
musical1 the poetical impressions of the
 scene4 ,all the peoples of             
,christendom--all the churches scattered
 over the globe--are celebrating at this
 moment the glory of the ,crucified4    
,and what are those many nations doing  
who have other prophets1 and honor the  
,divinity in other ways8--the ,jews1 the
 ,mussulmans1 the ,buddhists1 the       
,vishnuists1 the ,guebers8 ,they have   
other sacred days1 other rites1 other   
solemnities1 other beliefs4 ,but all    
have some religion1 some ideal end for  
life--all aim at raising man above the  
sorrows and smallnesses of the present1 
and of the individual existence4 ,all   
have faith in something greater than    
themselves1 all pray1 all bow1 all      
adore2 all see beyond nature1 ,spirit1  
and beyond evil1 ,good4 ,all bear       
witness to the ,invisible4 ,here we have

 the link which binds all peoples       
together4 ,all men are equally creatures
 of sorrow and desire1 of hope and fear4
 ,all long to recover some lost harmony 
with the great order of things1 and to  
feel themselves approved and blessed by 
the ,author of the universe4 ,all know  
what suffering is1 and yearn for        
happiness4 ,all know what sin is1 and   
feel the need of pardon4  ,christianity 
reduced to its original simplicity is   
the reconciliation of the sinner with   
,god1 by means of the certainty that    
,god loves in spite of everything1 and  
that he chastises because he loves4     
,christianity furnished a new motive and
 a new strength for the achievement of  
moral perfection4 ,it made holiness     
attractive by giving to it the air of   
filial gratitude4  ,june #bh1           
#ahgi4--,last lecture of the term and of
 the academic year4 ,i finished the     
exposition of modern philosophy1 and    
wound up my course with the precision ,i
 wished4 ,the circle has returned upon  

itself4 ,in order to do this ,i have    
divided my hour into minutes1 calculated
 my material1 and counted every stitch  
and point4 ,this1 however1 is but a very
 small part of the professorial science1
 ,it is a more difficult matter to      
divide one's whole material into a given
 number of lectures1 to determine the   
right proportions of the different      
parts1 and the normal speed of delivery 
to be attained4 ,the ordinary lecturer  
may achieve a series of complete        
sances--the unity being the sance4 ,but 
a scientific course ought to aim at     
something more--at a general unity of   
subject and of exposition4  ,has this   
concise1 substantial1 closely-reasoned  
kind of work been useful to my class8 ,i
 cannot tell4 ,have my students liked me
 this year8 ,i am not sure1 but ,i hope 
so4 ,it seems to me they have4 ,only1 if
 ,i have pleased them1 it cannot have   
been in any case more than a succs      
d'estime2 ,i have never aimed at any    
oratorical success4 ,my only object is  

to light up for them a complicated and  
difficult subject4 ,i respect myself too
 much1 and ,i respect my class too much1
 to attempt rhetoric4 ,my rle is to help
 them to understand4 ,scientific        
lecturing ought to be1 above all things1
 clear1 instructive1 well put together1 
and convincing4 ,a lecturer has nothing 
to do with paying court to the scholars1
 or with showing off the master2 his    
business is one of serious study and    
impersonal exposition4 ,to yield        
anything on this point would seem to me 
a piece of mean utilitarianism4 ,i hate 
everything that savors of cajoling and  
coaxing4 ,all such ways are mere        
attempts to throw dust in men's eyes1   
mere forms of coquetry and stratagem4 ,a
 professor is the priest of his subject2
 he should do the honors of it gravely  
and with dignity4  ,september #i1       
#ahgi4--8,non-being is perfect4 ,being1 
imperfect30 this horrible sophism       
becomes beautiful only in the ,platonic 
system1 because there ,non-being is     

replaced by the ,idea1 which is1 and    
which is divine4  ,the ideal1 the       
chimerical1 the vacant1 should not be   
allowed to claim so great a superiority 
to the ,real1 which1 on its side1 has   
the incomparable advantage of existing4 
,the ,ideal kills enjoyment and content 
by disparaging the present and actual4  
,it is the voice which says ,no1 like   
,mephistopheles4 ,no1 you have not      
succeeded2 no1 your work is not good2   
no1 you are not happy2 no1 you shall not
 find rest--all that you see and all    
that you do is insufficient1            
insignificant1 overdone1 badly done1    
imperfect4 ,the thirst for the ideal is 
like the goad of ,siva1 which only      
quickens life to hasten death4          
,incurable longing that it is1 it lies  
at the root both of individual suffering
 and of the progress of the race4 ,it   
destroys happiness in the name of       
dignity4  ,the only positive good is    
order1 the return therefore to order and
 to a state of equilibrium4 ,thought    

without action is an evil1 and so is    
action without thought4 ,the ideal is a 
poison unless it be fused with the real1
 and the real becomes corrupt without   
the perfume of the ideal4 ,nothing is   
good singly without its complement and  
its contrary4 ,self-examination is      
dangerous if it encroaches upon         
self-devotion2 reverie is hurtful when  
it stupefies the will2 gentleness is an 
evil when it lessens strength2          
contemplation is fatal when it destroys 
character4 8,too much0 and 8too little0 
sin equally against wisdom4 ,excess is  
one evil1 apathy another4 ,duty may be  
defined as energy tempered by           
moderation2 happiness1 as inclination   
calmed and tempered by self-control4    
,just as life is only lent us for a few 
years1 but is not inherent in us1 so the
 good which is in us is not our own4 ,it
 is not difficult to think of one's self
 in this detached spirit4 ,it only needs
 a little self-knowledge1 a little      
intuitive preception of the ideal1 a    

little religion4 ,there is even much    
sweetness in this conception that we are
 nothing of ourselves1 and that yet it  
is granted to us to summon each other to
 life1 joy1 poetry and holiness4        
,another application of the law of      
irony3 ,zeno1 a fatalist by theory1     
makes his disciples heroes2 ,epicurus1  
the upholder of liberty1 makes his      
disciples languid and effeminate4 ,the  
ideal pursued is the decisive point2 the
 stoical ideal is duty1 whereas the     
,epicureans make an ideal out of an     
interest4 ,two tendencies1 two systems  
of morals1 two worlds4 ,in the same way 
the ,jansenists1 and before them the    
great reformers1 are for predestination1
 the ,jesuits for free-will--and yet the
 first founded liberty1 the second      
slavery of conscience4 ,what matters    
then is not the theoretical principle2  
it is the secret tendency1 the          
aspiration1 the aim1 which is the       
essential thing4         99       99    
99       99       99  ,at every epoch   

there lies1 beyond the domain of what   
man knows1 the domain of the unknown1 in
 which faith has its dwelling4 ,faith   
has no proofs1 but only itself1 to      
offer4 ,it is born spontaneously in     
certain commanding souls2 it spreads its
 empire among the rest by imitation and 
contagion4 ,a great faith is but a great
 hope which becomes certitude as we move
 farther and farther from the founder of
 it2 time and distance strengthen it1   
until at last the passion for knowledge 
seizes upon it1 questions1 and examines 
it4 ,then all which had once made its   
strength becomes its weakness2 the      
impossibility of verification1          
exaltation of feeling1 distance4        
99       99       99       99       99  
,at what age is our view clearest1 our  
eye truest8 ,surely in old age1 before  
the infirmities come which weaken or    
embitter4 ,the ancients were right4 ,the
 old man who is at once sympathetic and 
disinterested1 necessarily develops the 
spirit of contemplation1 and it is given

 to the spirit of contemplation to see  
things most truly1 because it alone     
perceives them in their relative and    
proportional value4  ,january #b1       
#ahhj4--;,a sense of rest1 of deep quiet
 even4 ,silence within and without4 ,a  
quietly-burning fire4 ,a sense of       
comfort4 ,the portrait of my mother     
seems to smile upon me4 ,i am not dazed 
or stupid1 but only happy in this       
peaceful morning4 ,whatever may be the  
charm of emotion1 ,i do not know whether
 it equals the sweetness of those hours 
of silent meditation1 in which we have a
 glimpse and foretaste of the           
contemplative joys of paradise4 ,desire 
and fear1 sadness and care1 are done    
away4 ,existence is reduced to the      
simplest form1 the most ethereal mode of
 being1 that is1 to pure                
self-consciousness4 ,it is a state of   
harmony1 without tension and without    
disturbance1 the dominical state of the 
soul1 perhaps the state which awaits it 
beyond the grave4 ,it is happiness as   

the orientals understand it1 the        
happiness of the anchorite1 who neither 
struggles nor wishes any more1 but      
simply adores and enjoys4 ,it is        
difficult to find words in which to     
express this moral situation1 for our   
languages can only render the particular
 and localized vibrations of life2 they 
are incapable of expressing this        
motionless concentration1 this divine   
quietude1 this state of the resting     
ocean1 which reflects the sky1 and is   
master of its own profundities4 ,things 
are then re-absorbed into their         
principles2 memories are swallowed up in
 memory2 the soul is only soul1 and is  
no longer conscious of itself in its    
individuality and separateness4 ,it is  
something which feels the universal     
life1 a sensible atom of the ,divine1 of
 ,god4 ,it no longer appropriates       
anything to itself1 it is conscious of  
no void4 ,only the ,yogis and ,soufis   
perhaps have known in its profundity    
this humble and yet voluptuous state1   

which combines the joys of being and of 
non-being1 which is neither reflection  
nor will1 which is above both the moral 
existence and the intellectual          
existence1 which is the return to unity1
 to the pleroma1 the vision of ,plotinus
 and of ,proclus--,nirvana in its most  
attractive form4  ,it is clear that the 
western nations in general1 and         
especially the ,americans1 know very    
little of this state of feeling4 ,for   
them life is devouring and incessant    
activity4 ,they are eager for gold1 for 
power1 for dominion2 their aim is to    
crush men and to enslave nature4 ,they  
show an obstinate interest in means1 and
 have not a thought for the end4 ,they  
confound being with individual being1   
and the expansion of the self with      
happiness--that is to say1 they do not  
live by the soul2 they ignore the       
unchangeable and the eternal2 they live 
at the periphery of their being1 because
 they are unable to penetrate to its    
axis4 ,they are excited1 ardent1        

positive1 because they are superficial4 
,why so much effort1 noise1 struggle1   
and greed8--it is all a mere stunning   
and deafening of the self4 ,when death  
comes they recognize that it is so--why 
not then admit it sooner8 ,activity is  
only beautiful when it is holy--that is 
to say1 when it is spent in the service 
of that which passeth not away4         
,february #f1 #ahhj4--;,a feeling       
article by ,edmond ,scherer on the death
 of ,bersot1 the director of the 8,ecole
 ,normale10 a philosopher who bore like 
a stoic a terrible disease1 and who     
labored to the last without a           
complaint4444 ,i have just read the four
 orations delivered over his grave4     
,they have brought the tears to my eyes4
 ,in the last days of this brave man    
everything was manly1 noble1 moral1 and 
spiritual4 ,each of the speakers paid   
homage to the character1 the devotion1  
the constancy1 and the intellectual     
elevation of the dead4 8,let us learn   
from him how to live and how to die40   

,the whole funeral ceremony had an      
antique dignity4  ,february #g1         
#ahhj4--;,hoar-frost and fog1 but the   
general aspect is bright and fairylike1 
and has nothing in common with the gloom
 in ,paris and ,london1 of which the    
newspapers tell us4  ,this silvery      
landscape has a dreamy grace1 a fanciful
 charm1 which are unknown both to the   
countries of the sun and to those of    
coal-smoke4 ,the trees seem to belong to
 another creation1 in which white has   
taken the place of green4 ,as one gazes 
at these alleys1 these clumps1 these    
groves and arcades1 these lace-like     
garlands and festoons1 one feels no wish
 for anything else2 their beauty is     
original and self-sufficing1 all the    
more because the ground powdered with   
snow1 the sky dimmed with mist1 and the 
smooth soft distances1 combine to form a
 general scale of color1 and a          
harmonious whole1 which charms the eye4 
,no harshness anywhere--all is velvet4  
,my enchantment beguiled me out both    

before and after dinner4 ,the impression
 is that of a fte1 and the subdued tints
 are1 or seem to be1 a mere coquetry of 
winter which has set itself to paint    
something without sunshine1 and yet to  
charm the spectator4  ,february #i1     
#ahhj1--,life rushes on--so much the    
worse for the weak and the stragglers4  
,as soon as a man's tendo ,achillis     
gives way he finds himself trampled     
under foot by the young1 the eager1 the 
voracious4 8,vae victis1 vae debilibus60
 yells the crowd1 which in its turn is  
storming the goods of this world4 ,every
 man is always in some other man's way1 
since1 however small he may make        
himself1 he still occupies some space1  
and however little he may envy or       
possess1 he is still sure to be envied  
and his goods coveted by some one else4 
,mean world6--peopled by a mean race6   
,to console ourselves we must think of  
the exceptions--of the noble and        
generous souls4 ,there are such4 ,what  
do the rest matter6 ,the traveler       

crossing the desert feels himself       
surrounded by creatures thirsting for   
his blood2 by day vultures fly about his
 head2 by night scorpions creep into his
 tent1 jackals prowl around his         
camp-fire1 mosquitoes prick and torture 
him with their greedy sting2 everywhere 
menace1 enmity1 ferocity4 ,but far      
beyond the horizon1 and the barren sands
 peopled by these hostile hordes1 the   
wayfarer pictures to himself a few loved
 faces and kind looks1 a few true hearts
 which follow him in their dreams--and  
smiles4 ,when all is said1 indeed1 we   
defend ourselves a greater or lesser    
number of years1 but we are always      
conquered and devoured in the end2 there
 is no escaping the grave and its worm4 
,destruction is our destiny1 and        
oblivion our portion4444  ,how near is  
the great gulf6 ,my skiff is thin as a  
nutshell1 or even more fragile still4   
,let the leak but widen a little and all
 is over for the navigator4 ,a mere     
nothing separates me from idiocy1 from  

madness1 from death4 ,the slightest     
breach is enough to endanger all this   
frail1 ingenious edifice1 which calls   
itself my being and my life4  ,not even 
the dragonfly symbol is enough to       
express its frailty2 the soap-bubble is 
the best poetical translation of all    
this illusory magnificence1 this        
fugitive apparition of the tiny self1   
which is we1 and we it4  444 ,a         
miserable night enough4 ,awakened three 
or four times by my bronchitis4         
,sadness--restlessness4 ,one of these   
winter nights1 possibly1 suffocation    
will come4 ,i realize that it would be  
well to keep myself ready1 to put       
everything in order4444 ,to begin with1 
let me wipe out all personal grievances 
and bitternesses2 forgive all1 judge no 
one2 in enmity and ill-will1 see only   
misunderstanding4 8,as much as lieth in 
you1 be at peace with all men40 ,on the 
bed of death the soul should have no    
eyes but for eternal things4 ,all the   
littlenesses of life disappear4 ,the    

fight is over4 ,there should be nothing 
left now but remembrance of past        
blessings--adoration of the ways of     
,god4 ,our natural instinct leads us    
back to ,christian humility and pity4   
8,father1 forgive us our trespasses1 as 
we forgive them who trespass against    
us40  ,prepare thyself as though the    
coming ,easter were thy last1 for thy   
days henceforward shall be few and evil4
  ,february #aa1 #ahhj4--,victor de     
,laprade ,footnote3 ,victor de ,laprade1
 born #ahab1 first a disciple and       
imitator of ,edgar ,quinet1 then the    
friend of ,lamartine1 ,lamennais1       
,george ,sand1 ,victor ,hugo2 admitted  
to the ,academy in #aheg in succession  
to ,alfred de ,musset4 ,he wrote        
8,parfums de ,madeleine10 #ahci2 8,odes 
et ,pomes10 #ahdc2 8,pomes              
,evangliques10 #aheb2 8,idylles         
,hroiques10 #aheh1 etc4 etc4 has        
elevation1 grandeur1 nobility1 and      
harmony4 ,what is it1 then1 that he     
lacks8 ,ease1 and perhaps humor4 ,hence 

the monotonous solemnity1 the excess of 
emphasis1 the over-intensity1 the       
inspired air1 the statue-like gait1     
which annoy one in him4 ,his is a muse  
which never lays aside the cothurnus1   
and a royalty which never puts off its  
crown1 even in sleep4 ,the total absence
 in him of playfulness1 simplicity1     
familiarity1 is a great defect4 ,de     
,laprade is to the ancients as the      
,french tragedy is to that of           
,euripides1 or as the wig of ,louis     
,,xiv4 to the locks of ,apollo4 ,his    
majestic airs are wearisome and         
factitious4 ,if there is not exactly    
affectation in them1 there is at least a
 kind of theatrical and sacerdotal      
posing1 a sort of professional          
attitudinizing4 ,truth is not as fine as
 this1 but it is more living1 more      
pathetic1 more varied4 ,marble images   
are cold4 ,was it not ,musset who said1 
8,if ,de ,laprade is a poet1 then ,i am 
not one80  ,february #bg1 #ahhj4--;,i   
have finished translating twelve or     

fourteen little poems by ,petfi4 ,they  
have a strange kind of savor4 ,there is 
something of the ,steppe1 of the ,east1 
of ,mazeppa1 of madness1 in these songs1
 which seem to go to the beat of a      
riding-whip4 ,what force and passion1   
what savage brilliancy1 what wild and   
grandiose images1 there are in them6    
,one feels that the ,magyar is a kind of
 ,centaur1 and that he is only          
,christian and ,european by accident4   
,the ,hun in him tends toward the ,arab4
  ,march #bj1 #ahhj4--;,i have been     
reading 8,la ,bannire ,bleue0--a history
 of the world at the time of ,genghis   
,khan1 under the form of memoirs4 ,it is
 a ,turk1 ,ougour1 who tells the story4 
,he shows us civilization from the wrong
 side1 or the other side1 and the       
,asiatic nomads appear as the scavengers
 of its corruptions4  ,genghis          
proclaimed himself the scourge of ,god1 
and he did in fact realize the vastest  
empire known to history1 stretching from
 the ,blue ,sea to the ,baltic1 and from

 the vast plains of ,siberia to the     
banks of the sacred ,ganges4 ,the most  
solid empires of the ancient world were 
overthrown by the tramp of his horsemen 
and the shafts of his archers4 ,from the
 tumult into which he threw the western 
continent there issued certain vast     
results3 the fall of the ,byzantine     
empire1 involving the ,renaissance1 the 
voyages of discovery in ,asia1          
undertaken from both sides of the       
globe--that is to say1 ,gama and        
,columbus2 the formation of the ,turkish
 empire2 and the preparation of the     
,russian empire4 ,this tremendous       
hurricane1 starting from the high       
,asiatic tablelands1 felled the decaying
 oaks and worm-eaten buildings of the   
whole ancient world4 ,the descent of the
 yellow1 flat-nosed ,mongols upon       
,europe is a historical cyclone which   
devastated and purified our thirteenth  
century1 and broke1 at the two ends of  
the known world1 through two great      
,chinese walls--that which protected the

 ancient empire of the ,center1 and that
 which made a barrier of ignorance and  
superstition round the little world of  
,christendom4 ,attila1 ,genghis1        
,tamerlane1 ought to range in the memory
 of men with ,caesar1 ,charlemagne1 and 
,napoleon4 ,they roused whole peoples   
into action1 and stirred the depths of  
human life1 they powerfully affected    
ethnography1 they let loose rivers of   
blood1 and renewed the face of things4  
,the ,quakers will not see that there is
 a law of tempests in history as in     
nature4 ,the revilers of war are like   
the revilers of thunder1 storms1 and    
volcanoes2 they know not what they do4  
,civilization tends to corrupt men1 as  
large towns tend to vitiate the air4    
8,nos patimur longae pacis mala40       
,catastrophes bring about a violent     
restoration of equilibrium2 they put the
 world brutally to rights4 ,evil        
chastises itself1 and the tendency to   
ruin in human things supplies the place 
of the regulator who has not yet been   

discovered4 ,no civilization can bear   
more than a certain proportion of       
abuses1 injustice1 corruption1 shame1   
and crime4 ,when this proportion has    
been reached1 the boiler bursts1 the    
palace falls1 the scaffolding breaks    
down2 institutions1 cities1 states1     
empires1 sink into ruin4 ,the evil      
contained in an organism is a virus     
which preys upon it1 and if it is not   
eliminated ends by destroying it4 ,and  
as nothing is perfect1 nothing can      
escape death4  ,may #ai1                
#ahhj4--;,inadaptibility1 due either to 
mysticism or stiffness1 delicacy or     
disdain1 is the misfortune or at all    
events the characteristic of my life4 ,i
 have not been able to fit myself to    
anything1 to content myself with        
anything4 ,i have never had the quantum 
of illusion necessary for risking the   
irreparable4 ,i have made use of the    
ideal itself to keep me from any kind of
 bondage4 ,it was thus with marriage3   
only perfection would have satisfied me2

 and1 on the other hand1 ,i was not     
worthy of perfection4444 ,so that1      
finding no satisfaction in things1 ,i   
tried to extirpate desire1 by which     
things enslave us4 ,independence has    
been my refuge2 detachment my           
stronghold4 ,i have lived the impersonal
 life--in the world1 yet not in it1     
thinking much1 desiring nothing4 ,it is 
a state of mind which corresponds with  
what in women is called a broken heart2 
and it is in fact like it1 since the    
characteristic common to both is        
despair4 ,when one knows that one will  
never possess what one could have loved1
 and that one can be content with       
nothing less1 one has1 so to speak1 left
 the world1 one has cut the golden hair1
 parted with all that makes human       
life--that is to say1 illusion--the     
incessant effort toward an apparently   
attainable end4 ,may #ca1 #ahhj4--,let  
us not be over-ingenious4 ,there is no  
help to be got out of subtleties4       
,besides1 one must live4 ,it is best and

 simplest not to quarrel with any       
illusion1 and to accept the inevitable  
good-temperedly4 ,plunged as we are in  
human existence1 we must take it as it  
comes1 not too bitterly1 nor too        
tragically1 without horror and without  
sarcasm1 without misplaced petulance or 
a too exacting expectation2             
cheerfulness1 serenity1 and patience1   
these are best--let us aim at these4    
,our business is to treat life as the   
grandfather treats his granddaughter1 or
 the grandmother her grandson2 to enter 
into the pretenses of childhood and the 
fictions of youth1 even when we         
ourselves have long passed beyond them4 
,it is probable that ,god himself looks 
kindly upon the illusions of the human  
race1 so long as they are innocent4     
,there is nothing evil but sin--that is1
 egotism and revolt4 ,and as for error1 
man changes his errors frequently1 but  
error of some sort is always with him4  
,travel as one may1 one is always       
somewhere1 and one's mind rests on some 

point of truth1 as one's feet rest upon 
some point of the globe4  ,society alone
 represents a more or less complete     
unity4 ,the individual must content     
himself with being a stone in the       
building1 a wheel in the immense        
machine1 a word in the poem4 ,he is a   
part of the family1 of the state1 of    
humanity1 of all the special fragments  
formed by human interests1 beliefs1     
aspirations1 and labors4 ,the loftiest  
souls are those who are conscious of the
 universal symphony1 and who give their 
full and willing collaboration to this  
vast and complicated concert which we   
call civilization4  ,in principle the   
mind is capable of suppressing all the  
limits which it discovers in itself1    
limits of language1 nationality1        
religion1 race1 or epoch4 ,but it must  
be admitted that the more the mind      
spiritualizes and generalizes itself1   
the less hold it has on other minds1    
which no longer understand it or know   
what to do with it4 ,influence belongs  

to men of action1 and for purposes of   
action nothing is more useful than      
narrowness of thought combined with     
energy of will4  ,the forms of dreamland
 are gigantic1 those of action are small
 and dwarfed4 ,to the minds imprisoned  
in things1 belong success1 fame1 profit2
 a great deal no doubt2 but they know   
nothing of the pleasures of liberty or  
the joy of penetrating the infinite4    
,however1 ,i do not mean to put one     
class before another2 for every man is  
happy according to his nature4 ,history 
is made by combatants and specialists2  
only it is perhaps not a bad thing that 
in the midst of the devouring activities
 of the western world1 there should be a
 few ,brahmanizing souls4  444 ,this    
soliloquy means--what8 ,that reverie    
turns upon itself as dreams do2 that    
impressions added together do not always
 produce a fair judgment2 that a private
 journal is like a good king1 and       
permits repetitions1 outpourings1       
complaint4444 ,these unseen effusions   

are the conversation of thought with    
itself the arpeggios involuntary but not
 unconscious1 of that aeolian harp we   
bear within us4 ,its vibrations compose 
no piece1 exhaust no theme1 achieve no  
melody1 carry out no programme1 but they
 express the innermost life of man4     
,june #a1 #ahhj4--,stendhal's 8,la      
,chartreuse de ,parme40 ,a remarkable   
book4 ,it is even typical1 the first of 
a class4 ,stendhal opens the series of  
naturalist novels1 which suppress the   
intervention of the moral sense1 and    
scoff at the claim of free-will4        
,individuals are irresponsible2 they are
 governed by their passions1 and the    
play of human passions is the observer's
 joy1 the artist's material4 ,stendhal  
is a novelist after ,taine's heart1 a   
faithful painter who is neither touched 
nor angry1 and whom everything          
amuses--the knave and the adventuress as
 well as honest men and women1 but who  
has neither faith1 nor preference1 nor  
ideal4 ,in him literature is            

subordinated to natural history1 to     
science4 ,it no longer forms part of the
 humanities1 it no longer gives man the 
honor of a separate rank4 ,it classes   
him with the ant1 the beaver1 and the   
monkey4 ,and this moral indifference to 
morality leads direct to immorality4    
,the vice of the whole school is        
cynicism1 contempt for man1 whom they   
degrade to the level of the brute2 it is
 the worship of strength1 disregard of  
the soul1 a want of generosity1 of      
reverence1 of nobility1 which shows     
itself in spite of all protestations to 
the contrary2 in a word1 it is          
inhumanity4 ,no man can be a naturalist 
with impunity3 he will be coarse even   
with the most refined culture4 ,a free  
mind is a great thing no doubt1 but     
loftiness of heart1 belief in goodness1 
capacity for enthusiasm and devotion1   
the thirst after perfection and         
holiness1 are greater things still4     
,june #g1 #ahhj4--;,i am reading ,madame
 ,necker de ,saussure ,footnote3 ,madame

 ,necker de ,saussure was the daughter  
of the famous geologist1 ,de ,saussure2 
she married a nephew of ,jacques        
,necker1 and was therefore cousin by    
marriage of ,madame de ,stal4 ,she is   
often supposed to be the original of    
,madame de ,cerlebe in 8,delphine10 and 
the ,notice sur le ,caractre et les     
crits de ,mdme4 de ,stal1 prefixed to   
the authoritative edition of ,madame de 
,stal's collected works1 is by her4     
,philanthropy and education were her two
 main interests1 but she had also a very
 large amount of general literary       
cultivation1 as was proved by her       
translation of ,schlegel's 8,lectures on
 ,dramatic ,literature40 again4         
8,l',education progressive0 is an       
admirable book4 ,what moderation and    
fairness of view1 what reasonableness   
and dignity of manner6 ,everything in it
 is of high quality--observation1       
thought1 and style4 ,the reconciliation 
of science with the ideal1 of philosophy
 with religion1 of psychology with      

morals1 which the book attempts1 is     
sound and beneficent4 ,it is a fine     
book--a classic--and ,geneva may be     
proud of a piece of work which shows    
such high cultivation and so much solid 
wisdom4 ,here we have the true ,genevese
 literature1 the central tradition of   
the country4  ,later4--,i have finished 
the third volume of ,madame ,necker4    
,the elevation and delicacy1 the sense  
and seriousness1 the beauty and         
perfection of the whole are astonishing4
 ,a few harshnesses or inaccuracies of  
language do not matter4 ,i feel for the 
author a respect mingled with emotion4  
,how rare it is to find a book in which 
everything is sincere and everything is 
true6  ,june #bf1 #ahhj4--;,democracy   
exists2 it is mere loss of time to dwell
 upon its absurdities and defects4      
,every rgime has its weaknesses1 and    
this rgime is a lesser evil than others4
 ,on things its effect is unfavorable1  
but on the other hand men profit by it1 
for it develops the individual by       

obliging every one to take interest in a
 multitude of questions4 ,it makes bad  
work1 but it produces citizens4 ,this is
 its excuse1 and a more than tolerable  
one2 in the eyes of the philanthropist1 
indeed1 it is a serious title to        
respect1 for1 after all1 social         
institutions are made for man1 and not  
vice vers4  ,june #bg1 #ahhj4--;,i paid 
a visit to my friends--1 and we resumed 
the conversation of yesterday4 ,we      
talked of the ills which threaten       
democracy and which are derived from the
 legal fiction at the root of it4       
,surely the remedy consists in insisting
 everywhere upon the truth which        
democracy systematically forgets1 and   
which is its proper makeweight--on the  
inequalities of talent1 of virtue1 and  
merit1 and on the respect due to age1 to
 capacity1 to services rendered4        
,juvenile arrogance and jealous         
ingratitude must be resisted all the    
more strenuously because social forms   
are in their favor2 and when the        

institutions of a country lay stress    
only on the rights of the individual1 it
 is the business of the citizen to lay  
all the more stress on duty4 ,there must
 be a constant effort to correct the    
prevailing tendency of things4 ,all     
this1 it is true1 is nothing but        
palliative1 but in human society one    
cannot hope for more4  ,later4--,alfred 
de ,vigny is a sympathetic writer1 with 
a meditative turn of thought1 a strong  
and supple talent4 ,he possesses        
elevation1 independence1 seriousness1   
originality1 boldness and grace2 he has 
something of everything4 ,he paints1    
describes1 and judges well2 he thinks1  
and has the courage of his opinions4    
,his defect lies in an excess of        
self-respect1 in a ,british pride and   
reserve which give him a horror of      
familiarity and a terror of letting     
himself go4 ,this tendency has naturally
 injured his popularity as a writer with
 a public whom he holds at arm's length 
as one might a troublesome crowd4 ,the  

,french race has never cared much about 
the inviolability of personal           
conscience2 it does not like stoics shut
 up in their own dignity as in a tower1 
and recognizing no master but ,god1 duty
 or faith4 ,such strictness annoys and  
irritates it2 it is merely piqued and   
made impatient by anything solemn4 ,it  
repudiated ,protestantism for this very 
reason1 and in all crises it has crushed
 those who have not yielded to the      
passionate current of opinion4  ,july   
#a1 #ahhj4 7,three o'clock74--,the      
temperature is oppressive2 ,i ought to  
be looking over my notes1 and thinking  
of to-morrow's examinations4 ,inward    
distaste--emptiness--discontent4 ,is it 
trouble of conscience1 or sorrow of     
heart8 or the soul preying upon itself8 
or merely a sense of strength decaying  
and time running to waste8 ,is          
sadness--or regret--or fear--at the root
 of it8 ,i do not know2 but this dull   
sense of misery has danger in it2 it    
leads to rash efforts and mad decisions4

 ,oh1 for escape from self1 for         
something to stifle the importunate     
voice of want and yearning6 ,discontent 
is the father of temptation4 ,how can we
 gorge the invisible serpent hidden at  
the bottom of our well--gorge it so that
 it may sleep8  ,at the heart of all    
this rage and vain rebellion there      
lies--what8 ,aspiration1 yearning6 ,we  
are athirst for the infinite--for       
love--for ,i know not what4 ,it is the  
instinct of happiness1 which1 like some 
wild animal1 is restless for its prey4  
,it is ,god calling-,god avenging       
himself4  ,july #d1 #ahhj4 7,sunday1    
half-past eight in the morning74--,the  
sun has come out after heavy rain4 ,may 
one take it as an omen on this solemn   
day8 ,the great voice of ,clmence has   
just been sounding in our ears4 ,the    
bell's deep vibrations went to my heart4
 ,for a quarter of an hour the pathetic 
appeal went on--8,geneva1 ,geneva1      
remember6 ,i am called ,clmence--,i am  
the voice of church and of country4     

,people of ,geneva1 serve ,god and be at
 peace together40 ,footnote3 ,a law to  
bring about separation between ,church  
and ,state1 adopted by the ,great       
,council1 was on this day submitted to  
the vote of the ,genevese people4 ,it   
was rejected by a large majority 7#i1cjf
 against #d1jdd74--,s4  ,seven o'clock  
in the evening4--,clmence has been      
ringing again1 during the last half-hour
 of the scrutin4 ,now that she has      
stopped1 the silence has a terrible     
seriousness1 like that which weighs upon
 a crowd when it is waiting for the     
return of the judge and the delivery of 
the death sentence4 ,the fate of the    
,genevese church and country is now in  
the voting box4  ,eleven o'clock in the 
evening4--,victory along the whole line4
 ,the ,ayes have carried little more    
than two-sevenths of the vote4 ,at my   
friend----#8s house ,i found them all   
full of excitement1 gratitude1 and joy4 
,july #e1 #ahhj4--,there are some words 
which have still a magical virtue with  

the mass of the people3 those of ,state1
 ,republic1 ,country1 ,nation1 ,flag1   
and even1 ,i think1 ,church4 ,our       
skeptical and mocking culture knows     
nothing of the emotion1 the exaltation1 
the delirium1 which these words awaken  
in simple people4 ,the blass of the     
world have no idea how the popular mind 
vibrates to these appeals1 by which they
 themselves are untouched4 ,it is their 
punishment2 it is also their infirmity4 
,their temper is satirical and          
separatist2 they live in isolation and  
sterility4  ,i feel again what ,i felt  
at the time of the ,rousseau centenary2 
my feeling and imagination are chilled  
and repelled by those ,pharisaical      
people who think themselves too good to 
associate with the crowd4  ,at the same 
time1 ,i suffer from an inward          
contradiction1 from a two-fold1         
instinctive repugnance--an aesthetic    
repugnance toward vulgarity of every    
kind1 a moral repugnance toward         
barrenness and coldness of heart4  ,so  

that personally ,i am only attracted by 
the individuals of cultivation and      
eminence1 while on the other hand       
nothing is sweeter to me than to feel   
myself vibrating in sympathy with the   
national spirit1 with the feeling of the
 masses4 ,i only care for the two       
extremes1 and it is this which separates
 me from each of them4  ,our everyday   
life1 split up as it is into clashing   
parties and opposed opinions1 and       
harassed by perpetual disorder and      
discussion1 is painful and almost       
hateful to me4 ,a thousand things       
irritate and provoke me4 ,but perhaps it
 would be the same elsewhere4 ,very     
likely it is the inevitable way of the  
world which displeases me--the sight of 
what succeeds1 of what men approve or   
blame1 of what they excuse or accuse4 ,i
 need to admire1 to feel myself in      
sympathy and in harmony with my         
neighbor1 with the march of things1 and 
the tendencies of those around me1 and  
almost always ,i have had to give up the

 hope of it4 ,i take refuge in retreat1 
to avoid discord4 ,but solitude is only 
a pis-aller4  ,july #f1                 
#ahhj4--,magnificent weather4 ,the      
college prize-day4 ,footnote3 ,the      
prize-giving at the ,college of ,geneva 
is made the occasion of a national      
festival4 ,toward evening ,i went with  
our three ladies to the plain of        
,plainpalais4 ,there was an immense     
crowd1 and ,i was struck with the bright
 look of the faces4 ,the festival wound 
up with the traditional fireworks1 under
 a calm and starry sky4 ,here we have   
the republic indeed1 ,i thought as ,i   
came in4 ,for a whole week this people  
has been out-of-doors1 camping1 like the
 ,athenians on the ,agora4 ,since       
,wednesday lectures and public meetings 
have followed one another without       
intermission2 at home there are         
pamphlets and the newspapers to be read2
 while speech-making goes on at the     
clubs4 ,on ,sunday1 plebiscite2 ,monday1
 public procession1 service at ,st4     

,pierre1 speeches on the ,molard1       
festival for the adults4 ,tuesday1 the  
college fte-day4 ,wednesday1 the fte-day
 of the primary schools4  ,geneva is a  
caldron always at boiling-point1 a      
furnace of which the fires are never    
extinguished4 ,vulcan had more than one 
forge1 and ,geneva is certainly one of  
those world-anvils on which the greatest
 number of projects have been hammered  
out4 ,when one thinks that the martyrs  
of all causes have been at work here1   
the mystery is explained a little2 but  
the truest explanation is that          
,geneva--republican1 protestant1        
democratic1 learned1 and enterprising   
,geneva--has for centuries depended on  
herself alone for the solution of her   
own difficulties4 ,since the            
,reformation she has been always on the 
alert1 marching with a lantern in her   
left hand and a sword in her right4 ,it 
pleases me to see that she has not yet  
become a mere copy of anything1 and that
 she is still capable of deciding for   

herself4 ,those who say to her1 8,do as 
they do at ,new ,york1 at ,paris1 at    
,rome1 at ,berlin10 are still in the    
minority4 ,the doctrinaires who would   
split her up and destroy her unity waste
 their breath upon her4 ,she divines the
 snare laid for her and turns away4 ,i  
like this proof of vitality4 ,only that 
which is original has a sufficient      
reason for existence4 ,a country in     
which the word of command comes from    
elsewhere is nothing more than a        
province4 ,this is what our ,jacobins   
and our ,ultramontanes never will       
recognize4 ,neither of them understand  
the meaning of self-government1 and     
neither of them have any idea of the    
dignity of a historical state and an    
independent people4  ,our small         
nationalities are ruined by the hollow  
cosmopolitan formulae which have an     
equally disastrous effect upon art and  
letters4 ,the modern isms are so many   
acids which dissolve everything living  
and concrete4 ,no one achieves a        

masterpiece1 nor even a decent piece of 
work1 by the help of realism1           
liberalism1 or romanticism4 ,separatism 
has even less virtue than any of the    
other isms1 for it is the abstraction of
 a negation1 the shadow of a shadow4    
,the various isms of the present are not
 fruitful principles3 they are hardly   
even explanatory formulae4 ,they are    
rather names of disease1 for they       
express some element in excess1 some    
dangerous and abusive exaggeration4     
,examples3 empiricism1 idealism1        
radicalism4 ,what is best among things  
and most perfect among beings slips     
through these categories4 ,the man who  
is perfectly well is neither            
sanguineous--to use the old medical     
term--nor bilious nor nervous4 ,a normal
 republic contains opposing parties and 
points of view1 but it contains them1 as
 it were1 in a state of chemical        
combination4 ,all the colors are        
contained in a ray of light1 while red  
alone does not contain a sixth part of  

the perfect ray4  ,july #h1 #ahhj4--;,it
 is thirty years since ,i read ,waagen's
 book on 8,museums10 which my friend    
---- is now reading4 ,it was in #ahdb   
that ,i was wild for pictures2 in #ahde 
that ,i was studying ,krause's          
philosophy2 in #ahej that ,i became     
professor of aesthetics4 ---- may be the
 same age as ,i am2 it is none the less 
true that when a particular stage has   
become to me a matter of history1 he is 
just arriving at it4 ,this impression of
 distance and remoteness is a strange   
one4 ,i begin to realize that my memory 
is a great catacomb1 and that below my  
actual standing-ground there is layer   
after layer of historical ashes4  ,is   
the life of mind something like that of 
great trees of immemorial growth8 ,is   
the living layer of consciousness       
super-imposed upon hundreds of dead     
layers8 ,dead8 ,no doubt this is too    
much to say1 but still1 when memory is  
slack the past becomes almost as though 
it had never been4 ,to remember that we 

did know once is not a sign of          
possession but a sign of loss2 it is    
like the number of an engraving which is
 no longer on its nail1 the title of a  
volume no longer to be found on its     
shelf4 ,my mind is the empty frame of a 
thousand vanished images4 ,sharpened by 
incessant training1 it is all culture1  
but it has retained hardly anything in  
its meshes4 ,it is without matter1 and  
is only form4 ,it no longer has         
knowledge2 it has become method4 ,it is 
etherealized1 algebraicized4 ,life has  
treated it as death treats other minds2 
it has already prepared it for a further
 metamorphosis4 ,since the age of       
sixteen onward ,i have been able to look
 at things with the eyes of a blind man 
recently operated upon--that is to say1 
,i have been able to suppress in myself 
the results of the long education of    
sight1 and to abolish distances2 and now
 ,i find myself regarding existence as  
though from beyond the tomb1 from       
another world2 all is strange to me2 ,i 

am1 as it were1 outside my own body and 
individuality2 ,i am depersonalized1    
detached1 cut adrift4 ,is this madness8 
,no4 ,madness means the impossibility of
 recovering one's normal balance after  
the mind has thus played truant among   
alien forms of being1 and followed      
,dante to invisible worlds4 ,madness    
means incapacity for self-judgment and  
self-control4 ,whereas it seems to me   
that my mental transformations are but  
philosophical experiences4 ,i am tied to
 none4 ,i am but making psychological   
investigations4 ,at the same time ,i do 
not hide from myself that such          
experiences weaken the hold of common   
sense1 because they act as solvents of  
all personal interests and prejudices4  
,i can only defend myself against them  
by returning to the common life of men1 
and by bracing and fortifying the will4 
,july #ad1 #ahhj4--,what is the book    
which1 of all ,genevese literature1 ,i  
would soonest have written8 ,perhaps    
that of ,madame ,necker de ,saussure1 or

 ,madame de ,stal's 8,l',allemagne40 ,to
 a ,genevese1 moral philosophy is still 
the most congenial and remunerative of  
studies4 ,intellectual seriousness is   
what suits us least ill4 ,history1      
politics1 economical science1 education1
 practical philosophy--these are our    
subjects4 ,we have everything to lose in
 the attempt to make ourselves mere     
,frenchified copies of the ,parisians3  
by so doing we are merely carrying water
 to the ,seine4 ,independent criticism  
is perhaps easier at ,geneva than at    
,paris1 and ,geneva ought to remain     
faithful to her own special line1 which1
 as compared with that of ,france1 is   
one of greater freedom from the tyranny 
of taste and fashion on the one hand1   
and the tyranny of ruling opinion on the
 other--of ,catholicism or ,jacobinism4 
,geneva should be to ,la ,grande ,nation
 what ,diogenes was to ,alexander2 her  
role is to represent the independent    
thought and the free speech which is not
 dazzled by prestige1 and does not blink

 the truth4 ,it is true that the rle is 
an ungrateful one1 that it lends itself 
to sarcasm and misrepresentation--but   
what matter8  ,july #bh1 #ahhj4--,this  
afternoon ,i have had a walk in the     
sunshine1 and have just come back       
rejoicing in a renewed communion with   
nature4 ,the waters of the ,rhone and   
the ,arve1 the murmur of the river1 the 
austerity of its banks1 the brilliancy  
of the foliage1 the play of the leaves1 
the splendor of the ,july sunlight1 the 
rich fertility of the fields1 the       
lucidity of the distant mountains1 the  
whiteness of the glaciers under the     
azure serenity of the sky1 the sparkle  
and foam of the mingling rivers1 the    
leafy masses of the ,la ,btie woods--all
 and everything delighted me4 ,it seemed
 to me as though the years of strength  
had come back to me4 ,i was overwhelmed 
with sensations4 ,i was surprised and   
grateful4 ,the universal life carried me
 on its breast2 the summer's caress went
 to my heart4 ,once more my eyes beheld 

the vast horizons1 the soaring peaks1   
the blue lakes1 the winding valleys1 and
 all the free outlets of old days4 ,and 
yet there was no painful sense of       
longing4 ,the scene left upon me an     
indefinable impression1 which was       
neither hope1 nor desire1 nor regret1   
but rather a sense of emotion1 of       
passionate impulse1 mingled with        
admiration and anxiety4 ,i am conscious 
at once of joy and of want2 beyond what 
,i possess ,i see the impossible and the
 unattainable2 ,i gauge my own wealth   
and poverty2 in a word1 ,i am and ,i am 
not--my inner state is one of           
contradiction1 because it is one of     
transition4 ,the ambiguity of it is     
characteristic of human nature1 which is
 ambiguous1 because it is flesh becoming
 spirit1 space changing into thought1   
the ,finite looking dimly out upon the  
,infinite1 intelligence working its way 
through love and pain4  ,man is the     
sensorium commune of nature1 the point  
at which all values are interchanged4   

,mind is the plastic medium1 the        
principle1 and the result of all2 at    
once material and laboratory1 product   
and formula1 sensation1 expression1 and 
law2 that which is1 that which does1    
that which knows4 ,all is not mind1 but 
mind is in all1 and contains all4 ,it is
 the consciousness of being--that is1   
,being raised to the second power4 ,if  
the universe subsists1 it is because the
 ,eternal mind loves to perceive its own
 content1 in all its wealth and         
expansion--especially in its stages of  
preparation4 ,not that ,god is an       
egotist4 ,he allows myriads upon myriads
 of suns to disport themselves in his   
shadow2 he grants life and consciousness
 to innumerable multitudes of creatures 
who thus participate in being and in    
nature2 and all these animated monads   
multiply1 so to speak1 his divinity4    
,august #d1 #ahhj4--;,i have read a few 
numbers of the ,feuille ,centrale de    
,zofingen4 ,footnote3 ,the journal of a 
students' society1 drawn from the       

different cantons of ,switzerland1 which
 meets every year in the little town of 
,zofingen ,it is one of those perpetual 
new beginnings of youth which thinks it 
is producing something fresh when it is 
only repeating the old4  ,nature is     
governed by continuity--the continuity  
of repetition2 it is like an oft-told   
tale1 or the recurring burden of a song4
 ,the rose-trees are never tired of     
rose-bearing1 the birds of              
nest-building1 young hearts of loving1  
or young voices of singing the thoughts 
and feelings which have served their    
predecessors a hundred thousand times   
before4 ,profound monotony in universal 
movement--there is the simplest formula 
furnished by the spectacle of the world4
 ,all circles are alike1 and every      
existence tends to trace its circle4    
,how1 then1 is fastidium to be avoided8 
,by shutting our eyes to the general    
uniformity1 by laying stress upon the   
small differences which exist1 and then 
by learning to enjoy repetition4 ,what  

to the intellect is old and worn-out is 
perennially young and fresh to the      
heart2 curiosity is insatiable1 but love
 is never tired4 ,the natural           
preservative against satiety1 too1 is   
work4 ,what we do may weary others1 but 
the personal effort is at least useful  
to its author4 ,where every one works1  
the general life is sure to possess     
charm and savor1 even though it repeat  
forever the same song1 the same         
aspirations1 the same prejudices1 and   
the same sighs4 8,to every man his      
turn10 is the motto of mortal beings4   
,if what they do is old1 they themselves
 are new2 when they imitate1 they think 
they are inventing4 ,they have received1
 and they transmit4 ,e sempre bene6     
,august #bd1 #ahhj4--;,as years go on ,i
 love the beautiful more than the       
sublime1 the smooth more than the rough1
 the calm nobility of ,plato more than  
the fierce holiness of the world's      
,jeremiahs4 ,the vehement barbarian is  
to me the inferior of the mild and      

playful ,socrates4 ,my taste is for the 
well-balanced soul and the well-trained 
heart--for a liberty which is not harsh 
and insolent1 like that of the newly    
enfranchised slave1 but lovable4 ,the   
temperament which charms me is that in  
which one virtue leads naturally to     
another4 ,all exclusive and             
sharply-marked qualities are but so many
 signs of imperfection4  ,august #bi1   
#ahhj4--,to-day ,i am conscious of      
improvement4 ,i am taking advantage of  
it to go back to my neglected work and  
my interrupted habits2 but in a week ,i 
have grown several months older--that is
 easy to see4 ,the affection of those   
around me makes them pretend not to see 
it2 but the looking-glass tells the     
truth4 ,the fact does not take away from
 the pleasure of convalescence2 but     
still one hears in it the shuttle of    
destiny1 and death seems to be nearing  
rapidly1 in spite of the halts and      
truces which are granted one4 ,the most 
beautiful existence1 it seems to me1    

would be that of a river which should   
get through all its rapids and          
waterfalls not far from its rising1 and 
should then in its widening course form 
a succession of rich valleys1 and in    
each of them a lake equally but         
diversely beautiful1 to end1 after the  
plains of age were past1 in the ocean   
where all that is weary and heavy-laden 
comes to seek for rest4 ,how few there  
are of these full1 fruitful1 gentle     
lives6 ,what is the use of wishing for  
or regretting them8 ,it is ,wiser and   
harder to see in one's own lot the best 
one could have had1 and to say to one's 
self that after all the cleverest tailor
 cannot make us a coat to fit us more   
closely than our skin4    8,le vrai nom 
du bonheur est le contentement40  444   
,the essential thing1 for every one is  
to accept his destiny4 ,fate has        
deceived you2 you have sometimes        
grumbled at your lot2 well1 no more     
mutual reproaches2 go to sleep in peace4
  ,august #cj1 #ahhj4 7,two             

o'clock74--,rumblings of a grave and    
distant thunder4 ,the sky is gray but   
rainless2 the sharp little cries of the 
birds show agitation and fear2 one might
 imagine it the prelude to a symphony or
 a catastrophe4    8,quel clair te      
traverse1  mon coeur soucieux80         
,strange--all the business of the       
immediate neighborhood is going on2     
there is even more movement than usual2 
and yet all these noises are1 as it     
were1 held suspended in the silence--in 
a soft1 positive silence1 which they    
cannot disguise--silence akin to that   
which1 in every town1 on one day of the 
week1 replaces the vague murmur of the  
laboring hive4 ,such silence at such an 
hour is extraordinary4 ,there is        
something expectant1 contemplative1     
almost anxious in it4 ,are there days on
 which 8the little breath0 of ,job      
produces more effect than tempest8 on   
which a dull rumbling on the distant    
horizon is enough to suspend the concert
 of voices1 like the roaring of a desert

 lion at the fall of night8  ,september 
#i1 #ahhj4--;,it seems to me that with  
the decline of my active force ,i am    
becoming more purely spirit2 everything 
is growing transparent to me4 ,i see the
 types1 the foundation of beings1 the   
sense of things4  ,all personal events1 
all particular experiences1 are to me   
texts for meditation1 facts to be       
generalized into laws1 realities to be  
reduced to ideas4 ,life is only a       
document to be interpreted1 matter to be
 spiritualized4 ,such is the life of the
 thinker4 ,every day he strips himself  
more and more of personality4 ,if he    
consents to act and to feel1 it is that 
he may the better understand2 if he     
wills1 it is that he may know what will 
is4 ,although it is sweet to him to be  
loved1 and he knows nothing else so     
sweet1 yet there also he seems to       
himself to be the occasion of the       
phenomenon rather than its end4 ,he     
contemplates the spectacle of love1 and 
love for him remains a spectacle4 ,he   

does not even believe his body his own2 
he feels the vital whirlwind passing    
through him--lent to him1 as it were1   
for a moment1 in order that he may      
perceive the cosmic vibrations4 ,he is a
 mere thinking subject2 he retains only 
the form of things2 he attributes to    
himself the material possession of      
nothing whatsoever2 he asks nothing from
 life but wisdom4 ,this temper of mind  
makes him incomprehensible to all that  
loves enjoyment1 dominion1 possession4  
,he is fluid as a phantom that we see   
but cannot grasp2 he resembles a man1 as
 the manes of ,achilles or the shade of 
,creusa resembled the living4 ,without  
having died1 ,i am a ghost4 ,other men  
are dreams to me1 and ,i am a dream to  
them4  ,later--,consciousness in me     
takes no account of the category of     
time1 and therefore all the partitions  
which tend to make of life a palace with
 a thousand rooms1 do not exist in my   
case2 ,i am still in the primitive      
unicellular state4 ,i possess myself    

only as ,monad and as ,ego1 and ,i feel 
my faculties themselves reabsorbed into 
the substance which they have           
individualized4 ,all the endowment of   
animality is1 so to speak1 repudiated2  
all the produce of study and of         
cultivation is in the same way annulled2
 the whole crystallization is           
redissolved into fluid2 the whole       
rainbow is withdrawn within the dewdrop2
 consequences return to the principle1  
effects to the cause1 the bird to the   
egg1 the organism to its germ4  ,this   
psychological reinvolution is an        
anticipation of death2 it represents the
 life beyond the grave1 the return to   
school1 the soul fading into the world  
of ghosts1 or descending into the region
 of ,die ,mtter2 it implies the         
simplification of the individual who1   
allowing all the accidents of           
personality to evaporate1 exists        
henceforward only in the indivisible    
state1 the state of point1 of           
potentiality1 of pregnant nothingness4  

,is not this the true definition of     
mind8 ,is not mind1 dissociated from    
space and time1 just this8 ,its         
development1 past or future1 is         
contained in it just as a curve is      
contained in its algebraical formula4   
,this nothing is an all4 ,this punctum  
without dimensions is a punctum saliens4
 ,what is the acorn but the oak which   
has lost its branches1 its leaves1 its  
trunk1 and its roots--that is to say1   
all its apparatus1 its forms1 its       
particularities--but which is still     
present in concentration1 in essence1 in
 a force which contains the possibility 
of complete revival8  ,this             
impoverishment1 then1 is only           
superficially a loss1 a reduction4 ,to  
be reduced to those elements in one     
which are eternal1 is indeed to die but 
not to be annihilated3 it is simply to  
become virtual again4  ,october #i1     
#ahhj4 7,clarens74--,a walk4 ,deep      
feeling and admiration4 ,nature was so  
beautiful1 so caressing1 so poetical1 so

 maternal4 ,the sunlight1 the leaves1   
the sky1 the bells1 all said to me--8,be
 of good strength and courage1 poor     
bruised one4 ,this is nature's kindly   
season2 here is forgetfulness1 calm1 and
 rest4 ,faults and troubles1 anxieties  
and regrets1 cares and wrongs1 are but  
one and the same burden4 ,we make no    
distinctions2 we comfort all sorrows1 we
 bring peace1 and with us is            
consolation4 ,salvation to the weary1   
salvation to the afflicted1 salvation to
 the sick1 to sinners1 to all that      
suffer in heart1 in conscience1 and in  
body4 ,we are the fountain of blessing2 
drink and live6 ,god maketh his sun to  
rise upon the just and upon the unjust4 
,there is nothing grudging in his       
munificence2 he does not weigh his gifts
 like a moneychanger1 or number them    
like a cashier4 ,come--there is enough  
for all60  ,october #bi1 #ahhj4         
7,geneva74--,the ideal which a man      
professes may itself be only a matter of
 appearance--a device for misleading his

 neighbor1 or deluding himself4 ,the    
individual is always ready to claim for 
himself the merits of the badge under   
which he fights2 whereas1 generally     
speaking1 it is the contrary which      
happens4 ,the nobler the badge1 the less
 estimable is the wearer of it4 ,such at
 least is the presumption4 ,it is       
extremely dangerous to pride one's self 
on any moral or religious specialty     
whatever4 ,tell me what you pique       
yourself upon1 and ,i will tell you what
 you are not4  ,but how are we to know  
what an individual is8 ,first of all by 
his acts2 but by something else         
too--something which is only perceived  
by intuition4 ,soul judges soul by      
elective affinity1 reaching through and 
beyond both words and silence1 looks and
 actions4  ,the criterion is subjective1
 ,i allow1 and liable to error2 but in  
the first place there is no safer one1  
and in the next1 the accuracy of the    
judgment is in proportion to the moral  
culture of the judge4 ,courage is an    

authority on courage1 goodness on       
goodness1 nobleness on nobleness1       
loyalty on uprightness4 ,we only truly  
know what we have1 or what we have lost 
and regret1 as1 for example1 childish   
innocence1 virginal purity1 or stainless
 honor4 ,the truest and best judge1     
then1 is ,infinite ,goodness1 and next  
to it1 the regenerated sinner or the    
saint1 the man tried by experience or   
the sage4 ,naturally1 the touchstone in 
us becomes finer and truer the better we
 are4  ,november #c1 #ahhj4--,what      
impression has the story ,i have just   
read made upon me8 ,a mixed one4 ,the   
imagination gets no pleasure out of it1 
although the intellect is amused4 ,why8 
,because the author's mood is one of    
incessant irony and persiflage4 ,the    
,voltairean tradition has been his      
guide--a great deal of wit and satire1  
very little feeling1 no simplicity4 ,it 
is a combination of qualities which     
serves eminently well for satire1 for   
journalism1 and for paper warfare of all

 kinds1 but which is much less suitable 
to the novel or short story1 for        
cleverness is not poetry1 and the novel 
is still within the domain of poetry1   
although on the frontier4 ,the vague    
discomfort aroused in one by these      
epigrammatic productions is due probably
 to a confusion of kinds4 ,ambiguity of 
style keeps one in a perpetual state of 
tension and self-defense2 we ought not  
to be left in doubt whether the speaker 
is jesting or serious1 mocking or       
tender4 ,moreover1 banter is not humor1 
and never will be4 ,i think1 indeed1    
that the professional wit finds a       
difficulty in being genuinely comic1 for
 want of depth and disinterested        
feeling4 ,to laugh at things and people 
is not really a joy2 it is at best but a
 cold pleasure4 ,buffoonery is          
wholesomer1 because it is a little more 
kindly4 ,the reason why continuous      
sarcasm repels us is that it lacks two  
things--humanity and seriousness4       
,sarcasm implies pride1 since it means  

putting one's self above others--and    
levity1 because conscience is allowed no
 voice in controlling it4 ,in short1 we 
read satirical books1 but we only love  
and cling to the books in which there is
 heart4  ,november #bb1 #ahhj4--;,how is
 ill-nature to be met and overcome8     
,first1 by humility3 when a man knows   
his own weaknesses1 why should he be    
angry with others for pointing them out8
 ,no doubt it is not very amiable of    
them to do so1 but still1 truth is on   
their side4 ,secondly1 by reflection3   
after all we are what we are1 and if we 
have been thinking too much of          
ourselves1 it is only an opinion to be  
modified2 the incivility of our neighbor
 leaves us what we were before4 ,above  
all1 by pardon3 there is only one way of
 not hating those who do us wrong1 and  
that is by doing them good2 anger is    
best conquered by kindness4 ,such a     
victory over feeling may not indeed     
affect those who have wronged us1 but it
 is a valuable piece of self-discipline4

 ,it is vulgar to be angry on one's own 
account2 we ought only to be angry for  
great causes4 ,besides1 the poisoned    
dart can only be extracted from the     
wound by the balm of a silent and       
thoughtful charity4 ,why do we let human
 malignity embitter us8 why should      
ingratitude1 jealousy--perfidy          
even--enrage us8 ,there is no end to    
recriminations1 complaints1 or          
reprisals4 ,the simplest plan is to blot
 everything out4 ,anger1 rancor1        
bitterness1 trouble the soul4 ,every man
 is a dispenser of justice2 but there is
 one wrong that he is not bound to      
punish--that of which he himself is the 
victim4 ,such a wrong is to be healed1  
not avenged4 ,fire purifies all4        
8,mon me est comme un feu qui dvore et  
parfume   ,ce qu'on jette pour le       
ternir40  ,december #bg1 #ahhj--;,in an 
article ,i have just read1 ,biedermann  
reproaches ,strauss with being too      
negative1 and with having broken with   
,christianity4 ,the object to be        

pursued1 according to him1 should be the
 freeing of religion from the           
mythological element1 and the           
substitution of another point of view   
for the antiquated dualism of           
orthodoxy--this other point of view to  
be the victory over the world1 produced 
by the sense of divine sonship4  ,it is 
true that another question arises3 has  
not a religion which has separated      
itself from special miracle1 from local 
interventions of the supernatural1 and  
from mystery1 lost its savor and its    
efficacy8 ,for the sake of satisfying a 
thinking and instructed public1 is it   
wise to sacrifice the influence of      
religion over the multitude8 ,answer4 ,a
 pious fiction is still a fiction4      
,truth has the highest claim4 ,it is for
 the world to accommodate itself to     
truth1 and not vice vers4 ,copernicus   
upset the astronomy of the ,middle      
,ages--so much the worse for it6 ,the   
,eternal ,gospel revolutionizes modern  
churches--what matter6 ,when symbols    

become transparent1 they have no further
 binding force4 ,we see in them a poem1 
an allegory1 a metaphor2 but we believe 
in them no longer4 ,yes1 but still a    
certain esotericism is inevitable1 since
 critical1 scientific1 and philosophical
 culture is only attainable by a        
minority4 ,the new faith must have its  
symbols too4 ,at present the effect it  
produces on pious souls is a more or    
less profane one2 it has a              
disrespectful1 incredulous1 frivolous   
look1 and it seems to free a man from   
traditional dogma at the cost of        
seriousness of conscience4 ,how are     
sensitiveness of feeling1 the sense of  
sin1 the desire for pardon1 the thirst  
for holiness1 to be preserved among us1 
when the errors which have served them  
so long for support and food have been  
eliminated8 ,is not illusion            
indispensable8 is it not the divine     
process of education8  ,perhaps the best
 way is to draw a deep distinction      
between opinion and belief1 and between 

belief and science4 ,the mind which     
discerns these different degrees may    
allow itself imagination and faith1 and 
still remain within the lines of        
progress4  ,december #bh1 #ahhj4--,there
 are two modes of classing the people we
 know3 the first is utilitarian--it     
starts from ourselves1 divides our      
friends from our enemies1 and           
distinguishes those who are antipathetic
 to us1 those who are indifferent1 those
 who can serve or harm us2 the second is
 disinterested--it classes men according
 to their intrinsic value1 their own    
qualities and defects1 apart from the   
feelings which they have for us1 or we  
for them4  ,my tendency is to the second
 kind of classification4 ,i appreciate  
men less by the special affection which 
they show to me than by their personal  
excellence1 and ,i cannot confuse       
gratitude with esteem4 ,it is a happy   
thing for us when the two feelings can  
be combined2 and nothing is more painful
 than to owe gratitude where yet we can 

feel neither respect nor confidence4  ,i
 am not very willing to believe in the  
permanence of accidental states4 ,the   
generosity of a miser1 the good nature  
of an egotist1 the gentleness of a      
passionate temperament1 the tenderness  
of a barren nature1 the piety of a dull 
heart1 the humility of an excitable     
self-love1 interest me as               
phenomena--nay1 even touch me if ,i am  
the object of them1 but they inspire me 
with very little confidence4 ,i foresee 
the end of them too clearly4 ,every     
exception tends to disappear and to     
return to the rule4 ,all privilege is   
temporary1 and besides1 ,i am less      
flattered than anxious when ,i find     
myself the object of a privilege4  ,a   
man's primitive character may be covered
 over by alluvial deposits of culture   
and acquisition--none the less is it    
sure to come to the surface when years  
have worn away all that is accessory and
 adventitious4 ,i admit indeed the      
possibility of great moral crises which 

sometimes revolutionize the soul1 but ,i
 dare not reckon on them4 ,it is a      
possibility--not a probability4 ,in     
choosing one's friends we must choose   
those whose qualities are inborn1 and   
their virtues virtues of temperament4   
,to lay the foundations of friendship on
 borrowed or added virtues is to build  
on an artificial soil2 we run too many  
risks by it4  ,exceptions are snares1   
and we ought above all to distrust them 
when they charm our vanity4 ,to catch   
and fix a fickle heart is a task which  
tempts all women2 and a man finds       
something intoxicating in the tears of  
tenderness and joy which he alone has   
had the power to draw from a proud      
woman4 ,but attractions of this kind are
 deceptive4 ,affinity of nature founded 
on worship of the same ideal1 and       
perfect in proportion to perfectness of 
soul1 is the only affinity which is     
worth anything4 ,true love is that which
 ennobles the personality1 fortifies the
 heart1 and sanctifies the existence4   

,and the being we love must not be      
mysterious and sphinx-like1 but clear   
and limpid as a diamond2 so that        
admiration and attachment may grow with 
knowledge4         99       99       99 
99       99  ,jealousy is a terrible    
thing4 ,it resembles love1 only it is   
precisely love's contrary4 ,instead of  
wishing for the welfare of the object   
loved1 it desires the dependence of that
 object upon itself1 and its own        
triumph4 ,love is the forgetfulness of  
self2 jealousy is the most passionate   
form of egotism1 the glorification of a 
despotic1 exacting1 and vain ego1 which 
can neither forget nor subordinate      
itself4 ,the contrast is perfect4       
99       99       99       99       99  
,austerity in women is sometimes the    
accompaniment of a rare power of loving4
 ,and when it is so their attachment is 
strong as death2 their fidelity as      
resisting as the diamond2 they are      
hungry for devotion and athirst for     
sacrifice4 ,their love is a piety1 their

 tenderness a religion1 and they triple 
the energy of love by giving to it the  
sanctity of duty4         99       99   
99       99       99  ,to the spectator 
over fifty1 the world certainly presents
 a good deal that is new1 but a great   
deal more which is only the old         
furbished up--mere plagiarism and       
modification1 rather than amelioration4 
,almost everything is a copy of a copy1 
a reflection of a reflection1 and the   
perfect being is as rare now as he ever 
was4 ,let us not complain of it2 it is  
the reason why the world lasts4         
,humanity improves but slowly2 that is  
why history goes on4  ,is not progress  
the goad of ,siva8 ,it excites the torch
 to burn itself away2 it hastens the    
approach of death4 ,societies which     
change rapidly only reach their final   
catastrophe the sooner4 ,children who   
are too precocious never reach maturity4
 ,progress should be the aroma of life1 
not its substance4         99       99  
99       99       99  ,man is a passion 

which brings a will into play1 which    
works an intelligence--and thus the     
organs which seem to be in the service  
of intelligence1 are in reality only the
 agents of passion4 ,for all the        
commoner sorts of being1 determinism is 
true3 inward liberty exists only as an  
exception and as the result of          
self-conquest4 ,and even he who has     
tasted liberty is only free             
intermittently and by moments4 ,true    
liberty1 then1 is not a continuous      
state2 it is not an indefeasible and    
invariable quality4 ,we are free only so
 far as we are not dupes of ourselves1  
our pretexts1 our instincts1 our        
temperament4 ,we are freed by energy and
 the critical spirit--that is to say1 by
 detachment of soul1 by self-government4
 ,so that we are enslaved1 but          
susceptible of freedom2 we are bound1   
but capable of shaking off our bonds4   
,the soul is caged1 but it has power to 
flutter within its cage4         99     
99       99       99       99  ,material

 results are but the tardy sign of      
invisible activities4 ,the bullet has   
started long before the noise of the    
report has reached us4 ,the decisive    
events of the world take place in the   
intellect4         99       99       99 
99       99  ,sorrow is the most        
tremendous of all realities in the      
sensible world1 but the transfiguration 
of sorrow after the manner of ,christ is
 a more beautiful solution of the       
problem than the extirpation of sorrow1 
after the method of akyamouni4          
99       99       99       99       99  
,life should be a giving birth to the   
soul1 the development of a higher mode  
of reality4 ,the animal must be         
humanized2 flesh must be made spirit2   
physiological activity must be          
transmuted into intellect and           
conscience1 into reason1 justice1 and   
generosity1 as the torch is transmuted  
into life and warmth4 ,the blind1       
greedy1 selfish nature of man must put  
on beauty and nobleness4 ,this heavenly 

alchemy is what justifies our presence  
on the earth3 it is our mission and our 
glory4         99       99       99     
99       99  ,to renounce happiness and 
think only of duty1 to put conscience in
 the place of feeling--this voluntary   
martyrdom has its nobility4 ,the natural
 man in us flinches1 but the better self
 submits4 ,to hope for justice in the   
world is a sign of sickly sensibility2  
we must be able to do without it4 ,true 
manliness consists in such independence4
 ,let the world think what it will of   
us1 it is its own affair4 ,if it will   
not give us the place which is lawfully 
ours until after our death1 or perhaps  
not at all1 it is but acting within its 
right4 ,it is our business to behave as 
though our country were grateful1 as    
though the world were equitable1 as     
though opinion were clear-sighted1 as   
though life were just1 as though men    
were good4         99       99       99 
99       99  ,death itself may become   
matter of consent1 and therefore a moral

 act4 ,the animal expires2 man          
surrenders his soul to the author of the
 soul4  ,with the year #ahha1 beginning 
with the month of ,january1 we enter    
upon the last period of ,amiel's        
illness4 ,although he continued to      
attend to his professional duties1 and  
never spoke of his forebodings1 he felt 
himself mortally ill1 as we shall see by
 the following extracts from the        
,journal4 ,amiel wrote up to the end1   
doing little else1 however1 toward the  
last than record the progress of his    
disease1 and the proofs of interest and 
kindliness which he received4 ,after    
weeks of suffering and pain a state of  
extreme weakness gradually gained upon  
him4 ,his last lines are dated the #bith
 of ,april2 it was on the #aath of ,may 
that he succumbed1 without a struggle1  
to the complicated disease from which he
 suffered4--,s4  ,january #e1           
#ahha4--;,i think ,i fear shame more    
than death4 ,tacitus said3 ,omnia       
serviliter pro dominatione4 ,my tendency

 is just the contrary4 ,even when it is 
voluntary1 dependence is a burden to me4
 ,i should blush to find myself         
determined by interest1 submitting to   
constraint1 or becoming the slave of any
 will whatever4 ,to me vanity is        
slavery1 self-love degrading1 and       
utilitarianism meanness4 ,i detest the  
ambition which makes you the liege man  
of something or some-one--,i desire to  
be simply my own master4  ,if ,i had    
health ,i should be the freest man ,i   
know4 ,although perhaps a little        
hardness of heart would be desirable to 
make me still more independent4  ,let me
 exaggerate nothing4 ,my liberty is only
 negative4 ,nobody has any hold over me1
 but many things have become impossible 
to me1 and if ,i were so foolish as to  
wish for them1 the limits of my liberty 
would soon become apparent4 ,therefore  
,i take care not to wish for them1 and  
not to let my thoughts dwell on them4 ,i
 only desire what ,i am able for1 and in
 this way ,i run my head against no     

wall1 ,i cease even to be conscious of  
the boundaries which enclose me4 ,i take
 care to wish for rather less than is in
 my power1 that ,i may not even be      
reminded of the obstacles in my way4    
,renunciation is the safeguard of       
dignity4 ,let us strip ourselves if we  
would not be stripped4 ,he who has      
freely given up his life may look death 
in the face3 what more can it take away 
from him8 ,do away with desire and      
practice charity--there you have the    
whole method of ,buddha1 the whole      
secret of the great ,deliverance4444    
,it is snowing1 and my chest is         
troublesome4 ,so that ,i depend on      
nature and on ,god4 ,but ,i do not      
depend on human caprice2 this is the    
point to be insisted on4 ,it is true    
that my chemist may make a blunder and  
poison me1 my banker may reduce me to   
pauperism1 just as an earthquake may    
destroy my house without hope of        
redress4 ,absolute independence1        
therefore1 is a pure chimera4 ,but ,i do

 possess relative independence--that of 
the stoic who withdraws into the        
fortress of his will1 and shuts the     
gates behind him4    8,jurons1 except   
,dieu1 de n'avoir point de matre40      
,this oath of old ,geneva remains my    
motto still4  ,january #aj1 #ahha4--,to 
let one's self be troubled by the       
ill-will1 the ingratitude1 the          
indifference1 of others1 is a weakness  
to which ,i am very much inclined4 ,it  
is painful to me to be misunderstood1   
ill-judged4 ,i am wanting in manly      
hardihood1 and the heart in me is more  
vulnerable than it ought to be4 ,it     
seems to me1 however1 that ,i have grown
 tougher in this respect than ,i used to
 be4 ,the malignity of the world        
troubles me less than it did4 ,is it the
 result of philosophy1 or an effect of  
age1 or simply caused by the many proofs
 of respect and attachment that ,i have 
received8 ,these proofs were just what  
were wanting to inspire me with some    
self-respect4 ,otherwise ,i should have 

so easily believed in my own nullity and
 in the insignificance of all my        
efforts4 ,success is necessary for the  
timid1 praise is a moral stimulus1 and  
admiration a strengthening elixir4 ,we  
think we know ourselves1 but as long as 
we are ignorant of our comparative      
value1 our place in the social          
assessment1 we do not know ourselves    
well enough4 ,if we are to act with     
effect1 we must count for something with
 our fellow-men2 we must feel ourselves 
possessed of some weight and credit with
 them1 so that our effort may be rightly
 proportioned to the resistance which   
has to be overcome4 ,as long as we      
despise opinion we are without a        
standard by which to measure ourselves2 
we do not know our relative power4 ,i   
have despised opinion too much1 while   
yet ,i have been too sensitive to       
injustice4 ,these two faults have cost  
me dear4 ,i longed for kindness1        
sympathy1 and equity1 but my pride      
forbade me to ask for them1 or to employ

 any address or calculation to obtain   
them4444 ,i do not think ,i have been   
wrong altogether1 for all through ,i    
have been in harmony with my best self1 
but my want of adaptability has worn me 
out1 to no purpose4 ,now1 indeed1 ,i am 
at peace within1 but my career is over1 
my strength is running out1 and my life 
is near its end4    8,il n'est plus     
temps pour rien except pour mourir40    
,this is why ,i can look at it all      
historically4  ,january #bc1 #ahha4--;,a
 tolerable night1 but this morning the  
cough has been frightful4 ,beautiful    
weather1 the windows ablaze with        
sunshine4 ,with my feet on the fender ,i
 have just finished the newspaper4  ,at 
this moment ,i feel well1 and it seems  
strange to me that my doom should be so 
near4 ,life has no sense of kinship with
 death4 ,this is why1 no doubt1 a sort  
of mechanical instinctive hope is       
forever springing up afresh in us1      
troubling our reason1 and casting doubt 
on the verdict of science4 ,all life is 

tenacious and persistent4 ,it is like   
the parrot in the fable1 who1 at the    
very moment when its neck is being      
wrung1 still repeats with its last      
breath3    8,cela1 cela1 ne sera rien40 
,the intellect puts the matter at its   
worst1 but the animal protests4 ,it will
 not believe in the evil till it comes4 
,ought one to regret it8 ,probably not4 
,it is nature's will that life should   
defend itself against death2 hope is    
only the love of life2 it is an organic 
impulse which religion has taken under  
its protection4 ,who knows8 ,god may    
save us1 may work a miracle4 ,besides1  
are we ever sure that there is no       
remedy8 ,uncertainty is the refuge of   
hope4 ,we reckon the doubtful among the 
chances in our favor4 ,mortal frailty   
clings to every support4 ,how be angry  
with it for so doing8 ,even with all    
possible aids it hardly ever escapes    
desolation and distress4 ,the supreme   
solution is1 and always will be1 to see 
in necessity the fatherly will of ,god1 

and so to submit ourselves and bear our 
cross bravely1 as an offering to the    
,arbiter of human destiny4 ,the soldier 
does not dispute the order given him3 he
 obeys and dies without murmuring4 ,if  
he waited to understand the use of his  
sacrifice1 where would his submission   
be8  ,it occurred to me this morning how
 little we know of each other's physical
 troubles2 even those nearest and       
dearest to us know nothing of our       
conversations with the ,king of         
,terrors4 ,there are thoughts which     
brook no confidant3 there are griefs    
which cannot be shared4 ,consideration  
for others even bids us conceal them4   
,we dream alone1 we suffer alone1 we die
 alone1 we inhabit the last             
resting-place alone4 ,but there is      
nothing to prevent us from opening our  
solitude to ,god4 ,and so what was an   
austere monologue becomes dialogue1     
reluctance becomes docility1            
renunciation passes into peace1 and the 
sense of painful defeat is lost in the  

sense of recovered liberty4    8,vouloir
 ce que ,dieu veut est la seule science 
,qui nous met en repos40  ,none of us   
can escape the play of contrary impulse2
 but as soon as the soul has once       
recognized the order of things and      
submitted itself thereto1 then all is   
well4    8,comme un sage mourant        
puissions nous dire en paix3   ,j'ai    
trop longtemps err1 cherch2 je me       
trompais3   ,tout est bien1 mon ,dieu   
m'enveloppe40  ,january #bh1 #ahha4--;,a
 terrible night4 ,for three or four     
hours ,i struggled against suffocation  
and looked death in the face4444 ,it is 
clear that what awaits me is            
suffocation--asphyxia4 ,i shall die by  
choking4  ,i should not have chosen such
 a death2 but when there is no option1  
one must simply resign one's self1 and  
at once4444 ,spinoza expired in the     
presence of the doctor whom he had sent 
for4 ,i must familiarize myself with the
 idea of dying unexpectedly1 some fine  
night1 strangled by laryngitis4 ,the    

last sigh of a patriarch surrounded by  
his kneeling family is more beautiful3  
my fate indeed lacks beauty1 grandeur1  
poetry2 but stoicism consists in        
renunciation4 ,abstine et sustine4  ,i  
must remember besides that ,i have      
faithful friends2 it is better not to   
torment them4 ,the last journey is only 
made more painful by scenes and         
lamentations3 one word is worth all     
others--8,thy will1 not mine1 be done60 
,leibnitz was accompanied to the grave  
by his servant only4 ,the loneliness of 
the deathbed and the tomb is not an     
evil4 ,the great mystery cannot be      
shared4 ,the dialogue between the soul  
and the ,king of ,terrors needs no      
witnesses4 ,it is the living who cling  
to the thought of last greetings4 ,and1 
after all1 no one knows exactly what is 
reserved for him4 ,what will be will be4
 ,we have but to say1 8,amen40          
,february #d1 #ahha4--;,it is a strange 
sensation that of laying one's self down
 to rest with the thought that perhaps  

one will never see the morrow4          
,yesterday ,i felt it strongly1 and yet 
here ,i am4 ,humility is made easy by   
the sense of excessive frailty1 but it  
cuts away all ambition4    8,quittez le 
long espoir et les vastes penses40  ,a  
long piece of work seems absurd--one    
lives but from day to day4  ,when a man 
can no longer look forward in           
imagination to five years1 a year1 a    
month1 of free activity--when he is     
reduced to counting the hours1 and to   
seeing in the coming night the threat of
 an unknown fate--it is plain that he   
must give up art1 science1 and politics1
 and that he must be content to hold    
converse with himself1 the one          
possibility which is his till the end4  
,inward soliloquy is the only resource  
of the condemned man whose execution is 
delayed4 ,he withdraws upon the         
fastnesses of conscience4 ,his spiritual
 force no longer radiates outwardly2 it 
is consumed in self-study4 ,action is   
cut off--only contemplation remains4 ,he

 still writes to those who have claims  
upon him1 but he bids farewell to the   
public1 and retreats into himself4 ,like
 the hare1 he comes back to die in his  
form1 and this form is his              
consciousness1 his intellect--the       
journal1 too1 which has been the        
companion of his inner life4 ,as long as
 he can hold a pen1 as long as he has a 
moment of solitude1 this echo of himself
 still claims his meditation1 still     
represents to him his converse with his 
,god4  ,in all this1 however1 there is  
nothing akin to self-examination3 it is 
not an act of contrition1 or a cry for  
help4 ,it is simply an ,amen of         
submission--8,my child1 give me thy     
heart60  ,renunciation and acquiescence 
are less difficult to me than to others1
 for ,i desire nothing4 ,i could only   
wish not to suffer1 but ,jesus on       
,gethesemane allowed himself to make the
 same prayer2 let us add to it the words
 that he did3 8,nevertheless1 not my    
will1 but thine1 be done10--and wait4   

444 ,for many years past the immanent   
,god has been more real to me than the  
transcendent ,god1 and the religion of  
,jacob has been more alien to me than   
that of ,kant1 or even ,spinoza4 ,the   
whole ,semitic dramaturgy has come to   
seem to me a work of the imagination4   
,the apostolic documents have changed in
 value and meaning to my eyes4 ,belief  
and truth have become distinct to me    
with a growing distinctness4 ,religious 
psychology has become a simple          
phenomenon1 and has lost its fixed and  
absolute value4 ,the apologetics of     
,pascal1 of ,leibnitz1 of ,secrtan1 are 
to me no more convincing than those of  
the ,middle ,ages1 for they presuppose  
what is really in question--a revealed  
doctrine1 a definite and unchangeable   
,christianity4 ,it seems to me that what
 remains to me from all my studies is a 
new phenomenology of mind1 an intuition 
of universal metamorphosis4 ,all        
particular convictions1 all definite    
principles1 all clear-cut formulas and  

fixed ideas1 are but prejudices1 useful 
in practice1 but still narrownesses of  
the mind4 ,the absolute in detail is    
absurd and contradictory4 ,all          
political1 religious1 aesthetic1 or     
literary parties are protuberances1     
misgrowths of thought4 ,every special   
belief represents a stiffening and      
thickening of thought2 a stiffening1    
however1 which is necessary in its time 
and place4 ,our monad1 in its thinking  
capacity1 overleaps the boundaries of   
time and space and of its own historical
 surroundings2 but in its individual    
capacity1 and for purposes of action1 it
 adapts itself to current illusions1 and
 puts before itself a definite end4 ,it 
is lawful to be man1 but it is needful  
also to be a man1 to be an individual4  
,our rle is thus a double one4 ,only1   
the philosopher is specially authorized 
to develop the first rle1 which the vast
 majority of humankind neglects4        
,february #g1 #ahha4--;,beautiful       
sunshine to-day4 ,but ,i have scarcely  

spring enough left in me to notice it4  
,admiration1 joy1 presuppose a little   
relief from pain4 ,whereas my neck is   
tired with the weight of my head1 and my
 heart is wearied with the weight of    
life2 this is not the aesthetic state4  
,i have been thinking over different    
things which ,i might have written4 ,but
 generally speaking we let what is most 
original and best in us be wasted4 ,we  
reserve ourselves for a future which    
never comes4 ,omnis mortar4  ,february  
#ad1 #ahha4--,supposing that my weeks   
are numbered1 what duties still remain  
to me to fulfill1 that ,i may leave all 
in order8 ,i must give every one his    
due2 justice1 prudence1 kindness must be
 satisfied2 the last memories must be   
sweet ones4 ,try to forget nothing      
useful1 nor anybody who has a claim upon
 thee6 ,february #ae1 #ahha4--;,i have1 
very reluctantly1 given up my lecture at
 the university1 and sent for my doctor4
 ,on my chimney-piece are the flowers   
which ---- has sent me4 ,letters from   

,london1 ,paris1 ,lausanne1 ,neuchatel  
444 ,they seem to me like wreaths thrown
 into a grave4  ,mentally ,i say        
farewell to all the distant friends whom
 ,i shall never see again4  ,february   
#ah1 #ahha4--,misty weather4 ,a fairly  
good night4 ,still1 the emaciation goes 
on4 ,that is to say1 the vulture allows 
me some respite1 but he still hovers    
over his prey4 ,the possibility of      
resuming my official work seems like a  
dream to me4  ,although just now the    
sense of ghostly remoteness from life   
which ,i so often have is absent1 ,i    
feel myself a prisoner for good1 a      
hopeless invalid4 ,this vague           
intermediate state1 which is neither    
death nor life1 has its sweetness1      
because if it implies renunciation1     
still it allows of thought4 ,it is a    
reverie without pain1 peaceful and      
meditative4 ,surrounded with affection  
and with books1 ,i float down the stream
 of time1 as once ,i glided over the    
,dutch canals1 smoothly and noiselessly4

 ,it is as though ,i were once more on  
board the ,treckschute4 ,scarcely can   
one hear even the soft ripple of the    
water furrowed by the barge1 or the hoof
 of the towing horse trotting along the 
sandy path4 ,a journey under these      
conditions has something fantastic in   
it4 ,one is not sure whether one still  
exists1 still belongs to earth4 ,it is  
like the manes1 the shadows1 flitting   
through the twilight of the inania      
regna4 ,existence has become fluid4     
,from the standpoint of complete        
personal renunciation ,i watch the      
passage of my impressions1 my dreams1   
thoughts1 and memories4444 ,it is a mood
 of fixed contemplation akin to that    
which we attribute to the seraphim4 ,it 
takes no interest in the individual     
self1 but only in the specimen monad1   
the sample of the general history of    
mind4 ,everything is in everything1 and 
the consciousness examines what it has  
before it4 ,nothing is either great or  
small4 ,the mind adopts all modes1 and  

everything is acceptable to it4 ,in this
 state its relations with the body1 with
 the outer world1 and with other        
individuals1 fade out of sight4         
,selbst-bewusstsein becomes once more   
impersonal ,bewusstsein1 and before     
personality can be reacquired1 pain1    
duty1 and will must be brought into     
action4  ,are these oscillations between
 the personal and the impersonal1       
between pantheism and theism1 between   
,spinoza and ,leibnitz1 to be regretted8
 ,no1 for it is the one state which     
makes us conscious of the other4 ,and as
 man is capable of ranging the two      
domains1 why should he mutilate himself8
  ,february #bb1 #ahha4--,the march of  
mind finds its typical expression in    
astronomy--no pause1 but no hurry2      
orbits1 cycles1 energy1 but at the same 
time harmony2 movement and yet order2   
everything has its own weight and its   
relative weight1 receives and gives     
forth light4 ,cannot this cosmic and    
divine become oars8 ,is the war of all  

against all1 the preying of man upon    
man1 a higher type of balanced action8  
,i shrink form believing it4 ,some      
theorists imagine that the phase of     
selfish brutality is the last phase of  
all4 ,they must be wrong4 ,justice will 
prevail1 and justice is not selfishness4
 ,independence of intellect1 combined   
with goodness of heart1 will be the     
agents of a result1 which will be the   
compromise required4  ,march #a1        
#ahha4--;,i have just been glancing over
 the affairs of the world in the        
newspaper4 ,what a ,babel it is6 ,but it
 is very pleasant to be able to make the
 tour of the planet and review the human
 race in an hour4 ,it gives one a sense 
of ubiquity4 ,a newspaper in the        
twentieth century will be composed of   
eight or ten daily bulletins--political1
 religious1 scientific1 literary1       
artistic1 commercial1 meteorological1   
military1 economical1 social1 legal1 and
 financial2 and will be divided into two
 parts only--,urbs and ,orbis4 ,the need

 of totalizing1 of simplifying1 will    
bring about the general use of such     
graphic methods as permit of series and 
comparisons4 ,we shall end by feeling   
the pulse of the race and the globe as  
easily as that of a sick man1 and we    
shall count the palpitations of the     
universal life1 just as we shall hear   
the grass growing1 or the sunspots      
clashing1 and catch the first stirrings 
of volcanic disturbances4 ,activity will
 become consciousness2 the earth will   
see herself4 ,then will be the time for 
her to blush for her disorders1 her     
hideousness1 her misery1 her crime and  
to throw herself at last with energy and
 perseverance into the pursuit of       
justice4 ,when humanity has cut its     
wisdom-teeth1 then perhaps it will have 
the grace to reform itself1 and the will
 to attempt a systematic reduction of   
the share of the evil in the world4 ,the
 ,weltgeist will pass from the state of 
instinct to the moral state4 ,war1      
hatred1 selfishness1 fraud1 the right of

 the stronger1 will be held to be       
old-world barbarisms1 mere diseases of  
growth4 ,the pretenses of modern        
civilization will be replaced by real   
virtues4 ,men will be brothers1 peoples 
will be friends1 races will sympathize  
one with another1 and mankind will draw 
from love a principle of emulation1 of  
invention1 and of zeal1 as powerful as  
any furnished by the vulgar stimulant of
 interest4 ,this millennium--will it    
ever be8 ,it is at least an act of piety
 to believe in it4  ,march #ad1         
#ahha4--;,i have finished ,mrime's      
letters to ,panizzi4 ,mrime died of the 
disease which torments me--8,je tousse1 
et j'touffe40  ,bronchitis and asthma1  
whence defective assimilation1 and      
finally exhaustion4 ,he1 too1 tried     
arsenic1 wintering at ,cannes1          
compressed air4 ,all was useless4       
,suffocation and inanition carried off  
the author of 8,colomba40 ,hic tua res  
agitur4 ,the gray1 heavy sky is of the  
same color as my thoughts4 ,and yet the 

irrevocable has its own sweetness and   
serenity4 ,the fluctuations of illusion1
 the uncertainties of desire1 the leaps 
and bounds of hope1 give place to       
tranquil resignation4 ,one feels as     
though one were already beyond the      
grave4 ,it is this very week1 too1 ,i   
remember1 that my corner of ground in   
the ,oasis is to be bought4 ,everything 
draws toward the end4 ,festinat ad      
eventum4  ,march #ae1 #ahha4--,the      
8,journal0 is full of details of the    
horrible affair at ,petersburg4 ,how    
clear it is that such catastrophes as   
this1 in which the innocent suffer1 are 
the product of a long accumulation of   
iniquities4 ,historical justice is1     
generally speaking1 tardy--so tardy that
 it becomes unjust4 ,the ,providential  
theory is really based on human         
solidarity4 ,louis ,,xvi4 pays for      
,louis ,,xv41 ,alexander ,,ii4 for      
,nicholas4 ,we expiate the sins of our  
fathers1 and our grandchildren will be  
punished for ours4 ,a double injustice6 

cries the individual4 ,and he is right  
if the individualist principle is true4 
,but is it true8 ,that is the point4 ,it
 seems as though the individual part of 
each man's destiny were but one section 
of that destiny4 ,morally we are        
responsible for what we ourselves have  
willed1 but socially1 our happiness and 
unhappiness depend on causes outside our
 will4 ,religion answers--8,mystery1    
obscurity1 submission1 faith4 ,do your  
duty2 leave the rest to ,god40  ,march  
#af1 #ahha4--;,a wretched night4 ,a     
melancholy morning4444 ,the two         
stand-bys of the doctor1 digitalis and  
bromide1 seem to have lost their power  
over me4 ,wearily and painfully ,i watch
 the tedious progress of my own decay4  
,what efforts to keep one's self from   
dying6 ,i am worn out with the struggle4
  ,useless and incessant struggle is a  
humiliation to one's manhood4 ,the lion 
finds the gnat the most intolerable of  
his foes4 ,the natural man feels the    
same4 ,but the spiritual man must learn 

the lesson of gentleness and            
long-suffering4 ,the inevitable is the  
will of ,god4 ,we might have preferred  
something else1 but it is our business  
to accept the lot assigned us4444 ,one  
thing only is necessary--    8,garde en 
mon coeur la foi dans ta volont sainte1 
,et de moi fais1  ,dieu1 tout ce que tu 
voudras40  ,later4--,one of my students 
has just brought me a sympathetic       
message from my class4 ,my sister sends 
me a pot of azaleas1 rich in flowers and
 buds2----sends roses and violets3 every
 one spoils me1 which proves that ,i am 
ill4  ,march #ai1                       
#ahha4--;,distaste--discouragement4 ,my 
heart is growing cold4 ,and yet what    
affectionate care1 what tenderness1     
surrounds me6444 ,but without health1   
what can one do with all the rest8 ,what
 is the good of it all to me8 ,what was 
the good of ,job's trials8 ,they ripened
 his patience2 they exercised his       
submission4  ,come1 let me forget       
myself1 let me shake off this           

melancholy1 this weariness4 ,let me     
think1 not of all that is lost1 but of  
all that ,i might still lose4 ,i will   
reckon up my privileges2 ,i will try to 
be worthy of my blessings4  ,march #ba1 
#ahha4--,this invalid life is too       
,epicurean4 ,for five or six weeks now  
,i have done nothing else but wait1     
nurse myself1 and amuse myself1 and how 
weary one gets of it6 ,what ,i want is  
work4 ,it is work which gives flavor to 
life4 ,mere existence without object and
 without effort is a poor thing4        
,idleness leads to languor1 and languor 
to disgust4 ,besides1 here is the spring
 again1 the season of vague desires1 of 
dull discomforts1 of dim aspirations1 of
 sighs without a cause4 ,we dream       
wide-awake4 ,we search darkly for we    
know not what2 invoking the while       
something which has no name1 unless it  
be happiness or death4  ,march #bh1     
#ahha4--;,i cannot work2 ,i find it     
difficult to exist4 ,one may be glad to 
let one's friends spoil one for a few   

months2 it is an experience which is    
good for us all2 but afterward8 ,how    
much better to make room for the living1
 the active1 the productive4            
8,tircis1 voici le temps de prendre sa  
retraite40  ,is it that ,i care so much 
to go on living8 ,i think not4 ,it is   
health that ,i long for--freedom from   
suffering4  ,and this desire being vain1
 ,i can find no savor in anything else4 
,satiety4 ,lassitude4 ,renunciation4    
,abdication4 8,in your patience possess 
ye your souls40  ,april #aj1 #ahha4     
7,sunday74--,visit to ----4 ,she read   
over to me letters of #ahdd to          
#ahde--letters of mine4 ,so much promise
 to end in so meager a result6 ,what    
creatures we are6 ,i shall end like the 
,rhine1 lost among the sands1 and the   
hour is close by when my thread of water
 will have disappeared4  ,afterward ,i  
had a little walk in the sunset4 ,there 
was an effect of scattered rays and     
stormy clouds2 a green haze envelops all
 the trees--    8,et tout renat1 et dj  

l'aubpine   ,a vu l'abeille accourir    
ses fleurs10  --but to me it all seems  
strange already4  ,later4--,what dupes  
we are of our own desires6444 ,destiny  
has two ways of crushing us--by refusing
 our wishes and by fulfilling them4 ,but
 he who only wills what ,god wills      
escapes both catastrophes4 8,all things 
work together for his good40  ,april    
#ad1 #ahha4--;,frightful night2 the     
fourteenth running1 in which ,i have    
been consumed by sleeplessness4444      
,april #ae1 #ahha4--,to-morrow is ,good 
,friday1 the festival of pain4 ,i know  
what it is to spend days of anguish and 
nights of agony4 ,let me bear my cross  
humbly4444 ,i have no more future4 ,my  
duty is to satisfy the claims of the    
present1 and to leave everything in     
order4 ,let me try to end well1 seeing  
that to undertake and even to continue1 
are closed to me4  ,april #ai1          
#ahha4--;,a terrible sense of           
oppression4 ,my flesh and my heart fail 
me4    8,que vivre est difficile1  mon  

coeur fatigu60