,lectures of ,col4 ,r4 ,g4              
,ingersoll--,latest     ,contents       
,thomas ,paine    ,liberty of ,man1     
,woman and ,child    ,orthodoxy         
,blasphemy    ,some ,reasons ,why       
,intellectual ,development    ,human    
,rights    ,talmagian ,theology 7,second
 ,lecture7    ,talmagian ,theology      
7,third ,lecture7    ,religious         
,intolerance    ,hereafter    ,review of
 ,his ,reviewers    ,how the ,gods ,grow
    ,the ,religion of our ,day          
,heretics ,and ,heresies    ,the ,bible 
,voltaire    ,myth and ,miracle         
,ingersoll's ,letter1 on ,the ,chinese  
,god    ,ingersoll's ,letter1 ,is       
,suicide a ,sin8    ,ingersoll's        
,letter1 ,the ,right ,to ,one's ,life   
,ingersoll's ,lecture on ,thomas        
,paine--,delivered in ,central ,music   
,hall1 ,chicago1 ,january #bi1 #ahhj    
7,from the ,chicago ,times1 ,verbatim   
,report7   ,ladies and ,gentlemen3--,it 
so happened that the first speech--the  
very first public speech ,i ever        

made--took occasion to defend the memory
 of ,thomas ,paine4  ,i did it because  
,i had read a little something of the   
history of my country4  ,i did it       
because ,i felt indebted to him for the 
liberty ,i then enjoyed--and whatever   
religion may be true1 ingratitude is the
 blackest of crimes4  ,and whether there
 is any ,god or not1 in every star that 
shines1 gratitude is a virtue4  ,the man
 who will tell the truth about the dead 
is a good man1 and for one1 about this  
man1 ,i intend to tell just as near the 
truth as ,i can4  ,most history consists
 in giving the details of things that   
never happened--most biography is       
usually the lie coming from the mouth of
 flattery1 or the slander coming from   
the lips of malice1 and whoever attacks 
the religion of a country will1 in his  
turn1 be attacked4 ,whoever attacks a   
superstition will find that superstition
 defended by all the meanness of        
ingenuity4  ,whoever attacks a          
superstition will find that there is    

still one weapon left in the arsenal of 
,jehovah--slander4  ,i was reading1     
yesterday1 a poem called the ,light of  
,asia1 and ,i read in that how a ,boodh 
seeing a tigress perishing of thirst1   
with her mouth upon the dry stone of a  
stream1 with her two cubs sucking at her
 dry and empty dugs1 this ,boodh took   
pity upon this wild and famishing beast1
 and1 throwing from himself the         
,yellowrobe of his order1 and stepping  
naked before this tigress1 said3  ,here 
is meat for you and your cubs4 ,in one  
moment the crooked daggers of her claws 
ran riot in his flesh1 and in another he
 was devoured4  ,such1 during nearly all
 the history of this world1 has been the
 history of every man who has stood in  
front of superstition4  ,thomas ,paine1 
as has been so eloquently said by the   
gentleman who introduced me1 was a      
friend of man1 and whoever is a friend  
of man is also a friend of ,god--if     
there is one4  ,but ,god has had many   
friends who were the enemies of their   

fellow-men4  ,there is but one test by  
which to measure any man who has lived4 
,did he leave this world better than he 
found it8  ,did he leave in this world  
more liberty8  ,did he leave in this    
world more goodness1 more humanity1 than
 when he was born8  ,that is the test4  
,and whatever may have been the faults  
of ,thomas ,paine1 no ,american who     
appreciates liberty1 no ,american who   
believes in true democracy and pure     
republicanism1 should ever breathe one  
word against his name4  ,every          
,american1 with the divine mantle of    
charity1 should cover all his faults1   
and with a never-tiring tongue should   
recount his virtues4  ,he was a common  
man4  ,he did not belong to the         
aristocracy4  ,upon the head of his     
father ,god had never poured the divine 
petroleum of authority4  ,he had not the
 misfortune to belong to the upper      
classes4 ,he had the fortune to be born 
among the poor and to feel against his  
great heart the throb of the toiling and

 suffering masses4  ,neither was it his 
misfortune to have been educated at     
,oxford4  ,what little sense he had was 
not squeezed out at ,westminster4  ,he  
got his education from books4  ,he got  
his education from contact with         
fellow-men1 and he thought1 and a man is
 worth just what nature impresses upon  
him4  ,a man standing by the sea1 or in 
a forest1 or looking at a flower1 or    
hearing a poem1 or looking in the eyes  
of the woman he loves1 receives all that
 he is capable of receiving--and if he  
is a great man the impression is great1 
and he uses it for the purpose of       
benefiting his fellow-man4  ,thomas     
,paine was not rich1 he was poor1 and   
his father before him was poor1 and he  
was raised a sailmaker1 a very lowly    
profession1 and yet that man became one 
of the mainstays of liberty in this     
world4  ,at one time he was an excise   
man1 like ,burns4  ,burns was           
once--speak it softly--a gauger--and yet
 he wrote poems that will wet the cheek 

of humanity with tears as long as the   
world travels in its orb around the sun4
  ,poverty was his brother1 necessity   
his master4  ,he had more brains than   
books2 more courage than politeness2    
more strength than polish4  ,he had no  
veneration for old mistakes1 no         
admiration for ancient lies4  ,he loved 
the truth for truth's sake and for man's
 sake4  ,he saw oppression on every     
hand1 injustice everywhere1 hypocrisy at
 the altar1 venality on the bench1      
tyranny on the throne1 and with a       
splendid courage he espoused the cause  
of the weak against the strong1 of the  
enslaved many against the titled few4   
,in ,england he was nothing4  ,he       
belonged to the lower classes--that is1 
the useful people4  ,england depended   
for her prosperity upon her mechanics   
and her thinkers1 her sailors and her   
workers1 and they are the only men in   
,europe who are not gentlemen4  ,the    
only obstacles in the way of progress in
 ,europe were the nobility and the      

priests1 and they are the only          
gentlemen4  ,this1 and his native       
genius1 constituted his entire capital1 
and he needed no more4  ,he found the   
colonies clamoring for justice2 whining 
about their grievances2 upon their knees
 at the foot of the throne1 imploring   
that mixture of idiocy and insanity1    
,george ,,iii41 by the grace of ,god1   
for a restoration of their ancient      
privileges4  ,they were not endeavoring 
to become free men1 but were trying to  
soften the heart of their master4  ,they
 were perfectly willing to make brick if
 ,pharaoh would furnish the straw4  ,the
 colonists wished for1 hoped for1 and   
prayed for reconciliation4  ,they did   
not dream of independence4  ,paine gave 
to the world his ,common ,sense4  ,it   
was the first argument for separation2  
the first assault upon the ,british form
 of government2 the first blow for a    
republic1 and it aroused our fathers    
like a trumpet's blast4  ,he was the    
first to perceive the destiny of the new

 world4  ,no other pamphlet ever        
accomplished such wonderful results4    
,it was filled with arguments1 reasons1 
persuasions1 and unanswerable logic4 ,it
 opened a new world4  ,it filled the    
present with hope and the future with   
honor4 ,everywhere the people responded1
 and in a few months the ,continental   
,congress declared the colonies free and
 independent states4 ,a new nation was  
born4  ,it is simple justice to say that
 ,paine did more to cause the           
,declaration of ,independence than any  
other man4  ,neither should it be       
forgotten that his attacks upon ,great  
,britain were also attacks upon         
monarchy1 and while he convinced the    
people that the colonies ought to       
separate from the mother country1 he    
also proved to them that a free         
government is the best that can be      
instituted among men4  ,in my judgment  
,thomas ,paine was the best political   
writer that ever lived4  ,what he wrote 
was pure nature1 and his soul and his   

pen ever went together4  ,ceremony1     
pageantry1 and all the paraphernalia of 
power had no effect upon him4  ,he      
examined into the why and wherefore of  
things4  ,he was perfectly radical in   
his mode of thought4  ,nothing short of 
the bed-rock satisfied him4 ,his        
enthusiasm for what he believed to be   
right knew no bounds4 ,during all the   
dark scenes of the revolution never for 
a moment did he despair4  ,year after   
year his brave words were ringing       
through the land1 and by the bivouac    
fires the weary soldiers read the       
inspiring words of ,common ,sense1      
filled with ideas sharper than their    
swords1 and consecrated themselves anew 
to the cause of freedom4  ,paine was not
 content with having aroused the spirit 
of independence1 but he gave every      
energy of his soul to keep that spirit  
alive4  ,he was with the army4  ,he     
shared its defeats1 its dangers1 and its
 glory4 ,when the situation became      
desperate1 when gloom settled upon all1 

he gave them the ,crisis4    ,it was a  
cloud by day and a pillar of fire by    
night1 leading the way to freedom1      
honor1 and glory4  ,he shouted to them  
,these are the times that try men's     
souls4  ,the summer soldier and the     
sunshine patriot1 will1 in this crisis1 
shrink from the service of his country2 
but he that stands it now deserves the  
love and thanks of man and woman4  ,to  
those who wished to put the war off to  
some future day1 with a lofty and       
touching spirit of self-sacrifice1 he   
said3  ,every generous parent should    
say3 ',if there must be war1 let it be  
in my day1 that my child may have       
peace'4  ,to the cry that ,americans    
were rebels1 he replied3 ,he that rebels
 against reason is a real rebel2 but he 
that in defense of reason rebels against
 tyranny1 has a better title to         
',defender of the ,faith' than ,george  
,,iii4  ,some said it was to the        
interest of the colonies to be free4    
,paine answered this by saying3  ,to    

know whether it be the interest of the  
continent to be independent1 we need ask
 only this simple1 easy question3  ',is 
it the interest of man to be a boy all  
his life8'  ,he found many who would    
listen to nothing1 and to them he said3 
,that to argue with a man who has       
renounced his reason is like giving     
medicine to the dead4  ,this sentiment  
ought to adorn the walls of every       
orthodox church4  ,there is a world of  
political wisdom in this3 ,england lost 
her liberty in a long chain of right    
reasoning from wrong principles2  and   
there is real discrimination in saying3 
,the ,greeks and ,romans were strongly  
possessed of the spirit of liberty1 but 
not the principles1 for at the time they
 were determined not to be slaves       
themselves1 they employed their power to
 enslave the rest of mankind4  ,in his  
letter to the ,british people1 in which 
he tried to convince them that war was  
not to their interest1 occurs the       
following passage brimful of common     

sense3  ,war never can be the interest  
of a trading nation any more than       
quarreling can be profitable to a man in
 business4 ,but to make war with those  
who trade with us is like setting a     
bull-dog upon a customer at the shop    
door4  ,the ,writings of ,paine fairly  
glitter with simple1 compact1 logical   
statements that carry conviction to the 
dullest and most prejudicial4 ,he had   
the happiest possible way of putting the
 case1 in asking questions in such a way
 that they answer themselves1 and in    
stating his premises so clearly that the
 deduction could not be avoided4  ,day  
and night he labored for ,america4      
,month after month1 year after year1 he 
gave himself to the great cause1 until  
there was a government of the people and
 for the people1 and until the banner of
 the stars floated over a continent     
redeemed and consecrated to the         
happiness of mankind4  ,at the close of 
the ,revolution no one stood higher in  
,america than ,thomas ,paine4  ,the     

best1 the wisest1 the most patriotic    
were his friends and admirers2 and had  
he been thinking only of his own good he
 might have rested from his toils and   
spent the remainder of his life in      
comfort and in ease4  ,he could have    
been what the world is pleased to call  
respectable4  ,he would have died       
surrounded by clergymen1 warriors1 and  
statesmen1 and at his death there would 
have been an imposing funeral1 miles of 
carriages1 civic societies1 salvos of   
artillery1 a ,nation in mourning1 and1  
above all1 a splendid monument covered  
with lies4 ,he choose rather to benefit 
mankind4  ,at that time the seeds sown  
by the great infidels were beginning to 
bear fruit in ,france4 ,the eighteenth  
century was crowning its gray hairs with
 the wreath of progress4  ,on every hand
 science was bearing testimony against  
the church4 ,voltaire had filled ,europe
 with light4  ,d',holbach was giving to 
the elite of ,paris the principles      
contained in his ,system of ,nature4    

,the encyclopaedists had attacked       
superstition with information for the   
masses4  ,the foundation of things began
 to be examined4  ,a few had the courage
 to keep their shoes on and let the bush
 burn4  ,miracles began to get scarce4  
,everywhere the people began to inquire4
  ,america had set an example to the    
world4  ,the word liberty was in the    
mouths of men1 and they began to wipe   
the dust from their superstitious knees4
 ,the dawn of a new day had appeared4   
,thomas ,paine went to ,france4 ,into   
the new movement he threw all his       
energies4  ,his fame had gone before    
him1 and he was welcomed as a friend of 
the human race and as a champion of free
 government4  ,he had never relinquished
 his intention of pointing out to his   
countrymen the defects1 absurdities1 and
 abuse of the ,english government4  ,for
 this purpose2 he composed and published
 his greatest political work4 ,the      
,rights of ,man4  ,this work should be  
read by every man and woman4  ,it is    

concise1 accurate1 rational1 convincing1
 and unanswerable4  ,it shows great     
thought1 an intimate knowledge of the   
various forms of government1 deep       
insight into the very springs of human  
action1 and a courage that compels      
respect and admiration4  ,the most      
difficult political problems are solved 
in a few sentences4  ,the venerable     
arguments in favor of wrong are refuted 
with a question--answered with a word4  
,for forcible illustration1 apt         
comparison1 accuracy and clearness of   
statement1 and absolute thoroughness1 it
 has never been excelled4  ,the fears of
 the administration were aroused1 and   
,paine was prosecuted for libel1 and    
found guilty2 and yet there is not a    
sentiment in the entire work that will  
not challenge the admiration of every   
civilized man4  ,it is a magazine of    
political wisdom1 an arsenal of ideas1  
and an honor not only to ,thomas ,paine1
 but to nature itself4  ,it could have  
been written only by the man who had the

 generosity1 the exalted patriotism1 the
 goodness to say3  ,the world is my     
country1 and to do good my religion4    
,there is in all the utterances of the  
world no grander1 no sublimer sentiment4
  ,there is no creed that can be        
compared with it for a moment4 ,it      
should be wrought in gold1 adorned with 
jewels1 and impressed upon every human  
heart3  ,the world is my country1 and to
 do good my religion4  ,in #agib1 ,paine
 was elected by the department of       
,calais as their representative in the  
,national ,assembly4  ,so great was his 
popularity in ,france1 that he was      
selected about the same time by the     
people of no less than four departments4
  ,upon taking his place in the         
assembly1 he was appointed as one of a  
committee to draft a constitution for   
,france4  ,had the ,french people taken 
the advice of ,thomas ,paine1 there     
would have been no reign of terror4     
,the streets of ,paris would not have   
been filled with blood in that reign of 

terror4  ,there were killed in the ,city
 of ,paris not less1 ,i think1 than     
seventeen thousand people--and on one   
night1 in the massacre of ,st4          
,bartholomew1 there were killed1 by     
assassination1 over sixty thousand      
souls--men1 women1 and children4  ,the  
revolution would have been the grandest 
success of the world4  ,the truth is    
that ,paine was too conservative to suit
 the leaders of the ,french revolution4 
,they1 to a great extent1 were carried  
away by hatred and a desire to destroy4 
,they had suffered so long1 they had    
borne so much1 that it was impossible   
for them to be moderate in the hour of  
victory4  ,besides all this1 the ,french
 people had been so robbed by the       
government1 so degraded by the church1  
that they were not fit material with    
which to construct a republic4  ,many of
 the leaders longed to establish a      
beneficent and just government1 but the 
people asked for revenge4  ,paine was   
filled with a real love for mankind4    

,his philanthropy was boundless4  ,he   
wished to destroy monarchy--not the     
monarch4  ,he voted for the destruction 
of tyranny1 and against the death of the
 tyrant4  ,he wished to establish a     
government on a new basis--one that     
would forget the past2 one that would   
give privileges to none1 and protection 
to all4  ,in the assembly1 where all    
were demanding the execution of the     
king1--where to differ with the majority
 was to be suspected1 and where to be   
suspected was almost certain            
death--,thomas ,paine had the courage1  
the goodness1 and the justice to vote   
against death4 ,to vote against the     
execution of the king was a vote against
 his own life4  ,this was the sublimity 
of devotion to principle4  ,for this he 
was arrested1 imprisoned1 and doomed to 
death4  ,there is not a theologian who  
has ever maligned ,thomas ,paine that   
has the courage to do this thing4  ,when
 ,louis ,capet was on trial for his life
 before the ,french convention1 ,thomas 

,paine had the courage to speak and vote
 against the sentence of death4 ,in his 
speech ,i find the following splendid   
sentiments3   ,my contempt and hatred   
for monarchical governments are         
sufficiently well known1 and my         
compassion for the unfortunate1 friends 
or enemies1 is equally profound4  ,i    
have voted to put ,louis ,capet upon    
trial1 because it was necessary to prove
 to the world the perfidy1 the          
corruption1 and the horror of the       
monarchical system4  ,to follow the     
trade of a king destroys all morality1  
just as the trade of a jailer deadens   
all sensibility4  ,make a man a king    
today and tomorrow he will be a brigand4
  ,had ,louis ,capet been a farmer1 he  
might have been held in esteem by his   
neighbors1 and his wickedness results   
from his position rather than from his  
nature4  ,let the ,french nation purge  
its territory of kings without soiling  
itself with their impure blood4  ,let   
the ,united ,states be the asylum of    

,louis ,capet1 where1 in spite of the   
overshadowing miseries and crimes of a  
royal life1 he will learn by the        
continual contemplation of the general  
prosperity that the true system of      
government is not that of kings1 but of 
the people4  ,i am an enemy of kings1   
but ,i can not forget that they belong  
to the human race4  ,it is always       
delightful to pursue that course where  
policy and humanity are united4  ,as    
,france has been the first of all the   
nations of ,europe to destroy royalty1  
let it be the first to abolish the      
penalty of death4  ,as a true           
republican1 ,i consider kings as more   
the objects of contempt than of         
vengeance4   ,search the records of the 
world and you will find but few sublimer
 acts than that of ,thomas ,paine voting
 against the king's death4  ,he1 the    
hater of despotism1 the abhorer of      
monarchy1 the champion of the rights of 
man1 the republican1 accepting death to 
save the life of a deposed tyrant--of a 

throneless king6  ,this was the last    
grand act of his political life--the    
sublime conclusion of his political     
career4  ,all his life he had been the  
disinterested friend of man4  ,he had   
labored not for money1 not for fame1 but
 for the general good4 ,he had aspired  
to no office4  ,he had no recognition of
 his services1 but had ever been content
 to labor as a common soldier in the    
army of progress1 confining his efforts 
to no country1 looking upon the world as
 his field of action4  ,filled with a   
genuine love for the right1 he found    
himself imprisoned by the very people he
 had striven to save4  ,had his enemies 
succeeded in bringing him to the block1 
he would have escaped the calumnies and 
the hatred of the ,christian world4 ,and
 let me tell you how neat they came     
getting him to the block4 ,he was in    
prison1 there was a door to his cell--it
 had two doors1 a door that opened in   
and an iron door that opened out4  ,it  
was a dark passage1 and whenever they   

concluded to cut a man's head off the   
next day1 an agent went along and made a
 chalk mark upon the door where the poor
 prisoner was bound4 ,mr4 ,barlow1 the  
,american minister1 happened to be with 
him and the outer door was shut1 that   
is1 open against the wall1 and the inner
 door was shut1 and when the man came   
along whose business it was to mark the 
door for death1 he marked this door     
where ,thomas ,paine was1 but he marked 
the door that was against the wall1 so  
when it was shut the mark was inside1   
and the messenger of death passed by on 
the next day4  ,if that had happened in 
favor of some ,methodist preacher1 they 
would have clearly seen1 not simply the 
hand of ,god1 but both hands4 ,in this  
country1 at least1 he would have ranked 
with the proudest names4  ,on the       
anniversary of the ,declaration1 his    
name would have been upon the lips of   
all orators1 and his memory in the      
hearts of all the people4  ,thomas      
,paine had not finished his career4  ,he

 had spent his life thus far in         
destroying the power of kings1 and now  
turned his attention to the priests4    
,he knew that every abuse had been      
embalmed in scripture--that every       
outrage was in partnership with some    
holy text4 ,he knew that the throne     
skulked behind the altar1 and both      
behind a pretended revelation of ,god4  
,by this time he had found that it was  
of little use to free the body and leave
 the mind in chains4  ,he had explored  
the foundations of despotism1 and had   
found them infinitely rotten4  ,he had  
dug under the throne1 and it occurred to
 him that he would take a look behind   
the altar4  ,the result of this         
investigation was given to the world in 
the ,age of ,reason4  ,from the moment  
of its publication he became infamous4  
,he was calumniated beyond measure4 ,to 
slander him was to secure the thanks of 
the church4  ,all his services were     
instantly forgotten1 disparaged1 or     
denied4  ,he was shunned as though he   

had been a pestilence4 ,most of his old 
friends forsook him4  ,he was regarded  
as a moral plague1 and at the bare      
mention of his name the bloody hands of 
the church were raised in horror4  ,he  
was denounced as the most despicable of 
men4  ,not content with following him to
 his grave1 they pursued him after death
 with redoubled fury1 and recounted with
 infinite gusto and satisfaction the    
supposed horrors of his death-bed3      
gloried in the fact that he was forlorn 
and friendless1 and gloated like fiends 
over what they supposed to be the       
agonizing remorse of his lonely death4  
,it is wonderful that all his services  
are thus forgotten4  ,it is amazing that
 one kind word did not fall from some   
pulpit2 that some one did not accord to 
him1 at least--honesty4  ,strange that  
in the general denunciation some one did
 not remember his labor for liberty1 his
 devotion to principle1 his zeal for the
 rights of his fellow-men4  ,he had1 by 
brave and splendid effort1 associated   

his name with the cause of progress4    
,he had made it impossible to write the 
history of political freedom with his   
name left out4  ,he was one of the      
creators of light1 one of the heralds of
 the dawn4  ,he hated tyranny in the    
name of kings1 and in the name of ,god1 
with every drop of his noble blood4 ,he 
believed in liberty and justice1 and in 
the sacred doctrine of human equality4  
,under these divine banners he fought   
the battle of his life4 ,in both worlds 
he offered his blood for the good of    
man4  ,in the wilderness of ,america1 in
 the ,french assembly1 in the sombre    
cell waiting for death1 he was the same 
unflinching1 unwavering friend of his   
race2 the same undaunted champion of    
universal freedom4  ,and for this he has
 been hated2 for this the church has    
violated even his grave4  ,this is      
enough to make one believe that nothing 
is more natural than for men to devour  
their benefactors4  ,the people in all  
ages have crucified and glorified4      

,whoever lifts his voice against abuses1
 whoever arraigns the past at the bar of
 the present1 whoever asks the king to  
show his commission1 or question the    
authority of the priest1 will be        
denounced as the enemy of man and ,god4 
,in all ages reason has been regarded as
 the enemy of religion4  ,nothing has   
been considered so pleasing to the      
,deity as a total denial of the         
authority of your own mind4             
,self-reliance has been thought deadly  
sin2 and the idea of living and dying   
without the aid and consolation of      
superstition has always horrified the   
church4 ,by some unaccountable          
infatuation1 belief has been and still  
is considered of immense importance4    
,all religions have been based upon the 
idea that ,god will forever reward the  
true believer1 and eternally damn the   
man who doubts or denies4  ,belief is   
regarded as the one essential thing4    
,to practice justice1 to love mercy1 is 
not enough2 you must believe in some    

incomprehensible creed4 ,you must say3  
,once one is three1 and three times one 
is one4  ,the man who practiced every   
virtue1 but failed to believe1 was      
execrated4 ,nothing so outrages the     
feelings of the church as a moral       
unbeliever1 nothing so horrible as a    
charitable atheist4  ,when ,paine was   
born the world was religious1 the pulpit
 was the real throne1 and the churches  
were making every effort to crush out of
 the brain the idea that it had the     
right to think4  ,he again made up his  
mind to sacrifice himself4  ,he         
commenced with the assertion  ,that any 
system of religion that had anything in 
it that shocks the mind of a child can  
not be a true system4 ,what a beautiful1
 what a tender sentiment6  ,no wonder   
the church began to hate him4  ,he      
believed in one ,god1 and no more4      
,after his life he hoped for happiness4 
,he believed that true religion         
consisted in doing justice1 loving      
mercy2 in endeavoring to make our       

fellow-creatures happy1 and in offering 
to ,god the fruit of the heart4 ,he     
denied the inspiration of the           
scriptures4 ,this was his crime4  ,he   
contended that it is a contradiction in 
terms to call anything a revelation that
 comes to us at secondhand1 either      
verbally or in writing4  ,he asserted   
that revelation is necessarily limited  
to the first communication1 and that    
after that it is only an account of     
something which another person says was 
a revelation to him4  ,we have only his 
word for it1 as it was never made to us4
  ,this argument never had been1 and    
probably never will be answered4  ,he   
denied the divine origin of ,christ and 
showed conclusively that the pretended  
prophecies of the ,old ,testament lead  
no reference to ,him whatever4  ,and yet
 he believed that ,christ was a virtuous
 and amiable man2 that the morality he  
taught and practiced was of the most    
benevolent and elevated character1 and  
that it had not been exceeded by any4   

,upon this point he entertained the same
 sentiments now held by the ,unitarians1
 and in fact by all the most enlightened
 ,christians4  ,in his time the church  
believed and taught that every word in  
the ,bible was absolutely true4  ,since 
his day it has been proven false in its 
cosmogony1 false in its astronomy1 false
 in its chronology and geology1 false in
 its history1 so far as the ,old        
,testament is concerned1 false in almost
 everything4  ,there are but few1 if    
any1 scientific men1 who apprehend that 
the ,bible is literally true4  ,who on  
earth at this day would pretend to      
settle any scientific question by a text
 from the ,bible8  ,the old belief is   
confined to the ignorant and zealous4   
,the church itself will before long be  
driven to occupy the position of ,thomas
 ,paine4 ,the best minds of the orthodox
 world1 today1 are endeavoring to prove 
the existence of a personal ,deity4     
,all other questions occupy a minor     
place4  ,you are no longer asked to     

swallow the ,bible whole1 whale1 ,jonah 
and all2 you are simply required to     
believe in ,god and pay your pew-rent4  
,there is not now an enlightened        
minister in the world who will seriously
 contend that ,sampson's strength was in
 his hair1 or that the necromancers of  
,egypt could turn water into blood1 and 
pieces of wood into serpents4  ,these   
follies have passed away1 and the only  
reason that the religious world can now 
have for disliking ,paine1 is that they 
have been forced to adopt so many of his
 opinions4  ,paine thought the          
barbarities of the ,old ,testament      
inconsistent with what he deemed the    
real character of ,god4  ,he believed   
the murder1 massacre1 and indiscriminate
 slaughter had never been commanded by  
the ,deity4  ,he regarded much of the   
,bible as childish1 unimportant and     
foolish4  ,the scientific world         
entertains the same opinion4  ,paine    
attacked the ,bible precisely in the    
same spirit in which he had attacked the

 pretensions of the kings4  ,he used the
 same weapons4  ,all the pomp in the    
world could not make him cower4  ,his   
reason knew no ,holy of ,holies1 except 
the abode of truth4  ,the sciences were 
then in their infancy4  ,the attention  
of the really learned had not been      
directed to an impartial examination of 
our pretended revelation4 ,it was       
accepted by most as a matter of course4 
,the church was all-powerful1 and no one
 else1 unless thoroughly imbued with the
 spirit of self-sacrifice1 thought for a
 moment of disputing the fundamental    
doctrines of ,christianity4  ,the       
infamous doctrine that salvation depends
 upon belief1 upon a mere intellectual  
conviction1 was then believed and       
preached4  ,to doubt was to secure the  
damnation of your soul4  ,this absurd   
and devilish doctrine shocked the common
 sense of ,thomas ,paine1 and he        
denounced it with the fervor of honest  
indignation4  ,this doctrine1 although  
infinitely ridiculous1 has been nearly  

universal1 and has been as hurtful as   
senseless4  ,for the overthrow of this  
infamous tenet1 ,paine exerted all his  
strength4 ,he left few arguments to be  
used by those who should come after him1
 and he used none that have been        
refuted4  ,the combined wisdom and      
genius of all mankind can not possibly  
conceive of an argument against liberty 
of thought4  ,neither can they show why 
anyone should be punished1 either in    
this world or another1 for acting       
honestly in accordance with reason2 and 
yet a doctrine with every possible      
argument against it has been1 and still 
is1 believed and defended by the entire 
orthodox world4 ,can it be possible that
 we have been endowed with reason simply
 that our souls may be caught in its    
toils and snares1 that we may be led by 
its false and delusive glare out of the 
narrow path that leads to joy into the  
broad way of everlasting death8  ,is it 
possible that we have been given reason 
simply that we may through faith ignore 

its deductions and avoid its            
conclusions8 ,ought the sailor to throw 
away his compass and depend entirely    
upon the fog8  ,if reason is not to be  
depended upon in matters of religion1   
that is to say1 in respect to our duties
 to the ,deity1 why should it be relied 
upon in matters respecting the rights of
 our fellows8  ,why should we throw away
 the law given to ,moses by ,god        
,himself1 and have the audacity to make 
some of our own8  ,how dare we drown the
 thunders of ,sinai by calling the ayes 
and naes in a petty legislature8  ,if   
reason can determine what is merciful1  
what is just1 the duties of man to man1 
what more do we want either in time or  
eternity8  ,down1 forever down1 with any
 religion that requires upon its        
ignorant altar its sacrifice of the     
goddess ,reason2 that compels her to    
abdicate forever the shining throne of  
the soul1 strips from her form the      
imperial purple1 snatches from her hand 
the sceptre of thought and makes her the

 bond-woman of senseless faith4  ,if a  
man should tell you he had the most     
beautiful painting in the world1 and    
after taking you where it was should    
insist upon having your eyes shut1 you  
would likely suspect either that he had 
no painting or that it was some pitiful 
daub4  ,should he tell you that he was a
 most excellent performer on the violin1
 and yet refused to play unless your    
ears were stopped1 you would think1 to  
say the least of it1 that he had an odd 
way of convincing you of his musical    
ability4  ,but would this conduct be any
 more wonderful than that of a          
religionist who asks that before        
examining his creed you will have the   
kindness to throw away your reason8     
,the first gentleman says3  ,keep your  
eyes shut2 my picture will bear         
everything but being seen4  ,keep your  
ears stopped2 my music objects to       
nothing but being heard4  ,the last     
says3  ,away with your reason2 my       
religion dreads nothing but being       

understood4  ,so far as ,i am concerned1
 ,i most cheerfully admit that most     
,christians are honest and most         
ministers sincere4  ,we do not attack   
them2 we attack their creed4  ,we accord
 to them the same rights that we ask for
 ourselves4  ,we believe that their     
doctrines are hurtful1 and ,i am going  
to do what ,i can against them4  ,we    
believe that the frightful text1 ,he    
that believes shall be saved1 and he    
that believeth not shall be damned1 has 
covered the earth with blood4  ,you     
might as well say that all that have red
 hair shall be damned4  ,it has filled  
the heart with arrogance1 cruelty1 and  
murder4  ,it has caused the religious   
wars2 bound hundreds of thousands to the
 stake2 founded inquisitions2 filled    
dungeons2 invented instruments of       
torture2 taught the mother to hate her  
child2 imprisoned the mind2 filled the  
world with ignorance2 persecuted the    
lovers of wisdom2 built the monasteries 
and convents2 made happiness a crime1   

investigation a sin1 and self-reliance a
 blasphemy4  ,it has poisoned the       
springs of learning2 misdirected the    
energies of the world2 filled all       
countries with want2 housed the people  
in hovels2 fed them with famine2 and but
 for the efforts of a few brave         
infidels1 it would have taken the world 
back to the midnight of barbarism1 and  
left the heavens without a star4  ,the  
maligners of ,paine say that he had no  
right to attack this doctrine1 because  
he was unacquainted with the dead       
languages1 and1 for this reason1 it was 
a piece of pure impudence to investigate
 the scriptures4  ,is it necessary to   
understand ,hebrew in order to know that
 cruelty is not a virtue1 that murder is
 inconsistent with infinite goodness1   
and that eternal punishment can be      
inflicted upon man only by an eternal   
fiend8  ,is it really essential to      
conjugate the ,greek verbs before you   
can make up your mind as to the         
probability of dead people getting out  

of their graves8  ,must one be versed in
 ,latin before he is entitled to express
 his opinion as to the genuiness of a   
pretended revelation from ,god8 ,common 
sense belongs exclusively to no tongue4 
,logic is not confirmed to1 nor has it  
been buried with1 the dead languages4   
,paine attacked the ,bible as it is     
translated4  ,if the translation is     
wrong1 let its defenders correct it4    
,the ,christianity of ,paine's day is   
not the ,christianity of our time4      
,there has been a great improvement     
since then4  ,it is better now because  
there is less of it4  ,one hundred and  
fifty years ago the foremost preachers  
of our time--that gentleman who preaches
 in this magnificent hall--would have   
perished at the stake4  ,lord1 ,lord1   
how ,john ,calvin would have liked to   
have roasted this man1 and the perfume  
of his burning flesh would have filled  
heaven with joy4  ,a ,universalist would
 have been torn to pieces in ,england1  
,scotland1 and ,america4 ,unitarians    

would have found themselves in the      
stocks1 pelted by the rabble with dead  
cats1 after which their ears would have 
been cut off1 their tongues bored1 and  
their foreheads branded4  ,less than one
 hundred and fifty years ago the        
following law was in force in ,maryland3
   ,be it enacted by the right          
honorable1 the lord proprietor1 by and  
with the advice and consent of his      
lordship's governor1 and the upper and  
lower houses of the assembly1 and the   
authority of the same3  ,that if any    
person shall hereafter1 within this     
province1 willingly1 maliciously1 and   
advisedly1 by writing or speaking1      
blaspheme or curse ,god1 or deny our    
,savior1 ,jesus ,christ1 to be the son  
of ,god1 or shall deny the ,holy        
,trinity1 the ,father1 ,son1 and the    
,holy ,ghost1 or the ,god-head of any of
 the three persons1 or the unity of the 
,god-head1 or shall utter any profane   
words concerning the ,holy ,trinity1 or 
the persons thereof and shall therefore 

be convicted by verdict1 shall1 for the 
first offense1 be bored through the     
tongue1 and fined ,l#bj1 to be levied on
 his body4  ,as for the second offense1 
the offender shall be stigmatized by    
burning in the forehead the letter ,b1  
and fined ,l#dj4 ,and that for the third
 offense1 the offender shall suffer     
death without the benefit of clergy4    
,the strange thing about this law is1   
that it has never been repealed1 and was
 in force in the ,district of ,columbia 
up to #ahge4  ,laws like this were in   
force in most of the colonies and in all
 countries where the church had power4  
,in the ,old ,testament the death       
penalty was attached hundreds of        
offenses4  ,it has been the same in all 
,christian countries4 ,today1 in        
civilized governments1 the death penalty
 is attached only to murder and treason2
 and in some it has been entirely       
abolished4  ,what a commentary upon the 
divine systems of the ,world6  ,in the  
days of ,thomas ,paine the church was   

ignorant1 bloody1 and relentless4  ,in  
,scotland the kirk was at the summit of 
its power4  ,it was a full sister of the
 ,spanish ,inquisition4  ,it waged war  
upon human nature4  ,it was the enemy of
 happiness1 the hater of joy1 and the   
despiser of liberty4  ,it taught parents
 to murder their children rather than to
 allow them to propagate error4  ,if the
 mother held opinions of which the      
infamous kirk disapproved1 her children 
were taken from her arms1 her babe from 
her very bosom1 and she was not allowed 
to see them1 or write them a word4  ,it 
would not allow ship-wrecked sailors to 
be rescued from drowning on ,sunday4    
,oh1 you have no idea what a muss it    
kicks up in heaven to have anybody swim 
on ,sunday4  ,it fills all the wheeling 
worlds with sadness to see a boy in a   
boat1 and the attention of the recording
 secretary is called to it4  ,in a voice
 of thunder they say1 ,upset him6  ,it  
sought to annihilate pleasure1 to       
pollute the heart by filling it with    

religious cruelty and gloom1 and to     
change mankind into a vast horde of     
pious1 heartless fiends4  ,one of the   
most famous ,scotch divines said3  ,the 
kirk holds that religious toleration is 
not far from blasphemy4  ,and this same 
,scotch kirk denounced1 beyond measure1 
the man who had the moral grandeur to   
say1 ,the world is my country1 and to do
 good my religion4  ,and this same kirk 
abhorred the man who said1 ,any system  
of religion that shocks the mind of a   
child can not be a true system4  ,at    
that time nothing so delighted the      
church as the beauties of endless       
torment1 and listening to the weak      
wailing of damned infants struggling in 
the slimy coils and poison folds of the 
worm that never dies4  ,about the       
beginning of the nineteenth century a   
boy by the name of ,thomas ,aikenhead   
was indicted and tried at ,edinburgh for
 having denied the inspiration of the   
scriptures1 and for having1 on several  
occasions1 when cold1 wished himself in 

hell that he might get warm4            
,notwithstanding the poor boy recanted  
and begged for mercy1 he was found      
guilty and hanged4  ,his body was thrown
 in a hole at the foot of the scaffold  
and covered with stones1 and though his 
mother came with her face covered with  
tears1 begging for the corpse1 she was  
denied and driven away in the name of   
charity4  ,that is religion1 and in the 
velvet of their politeness there lurks  
the claws of the tiger4  ,just give them
 the power and see how quick ,i would   
leave this part of the country4 ,they   
know ,i am going to be burned forever2  
they know ,i am going to hell1 but that 
don't satisfy them4  ,they want to give 
me a little foretaste here4             
,prosecutions and executions like these 
were common in every ,christian country1
 and all of them based upon the belief  
that an intellectual conviction is a    
crime4  ,no wonder the church hated and 
traduced the author of the ,age of      
,reason4  ,england was filled with      

,puritan gloom and ,episcopal ceremony4 
,the ideas of crazy fanatics and        
extravagant poets were taken as sober   
facts4 ,milton had clothed ,christianity
 in the soiled and faded finery of the  
gods--had added to the story of ,christ 
the fables of mythology4  ,he gave to   
the ,protestant church the most         
outrageously material ideas of the      
,deity4  ,he turned all the angels into 
soldiers--made heaven a battle-field1   
put ,christ in uniform1 and described   
,god as a militia-general4  ,his works  
were considered by the ,protestants     
nearly as sacred as the ,bible itself1  
and the imagination of the people was   
thoroughly polluted by the horrible     
imagery1 the sublime absurdity of the   
blind ,milton4  ,heaven and hell were   
realities--the judgment-day was         
expected--books of accounts would be    
opened4  ,every man would hear the      
charges against him read4  ,god was     
supposed to sit upon a golden throne1   
surrounded by the tallest angels1 with  

harps in their hands and crowns on their
 heads4 ,the goats would be thrust into 
eternal fire on the left1 while the     
orthodox sheep1 on the right1 were to   
gambol on sunny slopes forever and ever4
  ,so all the priests were willing to   
save the sheep for half the wool4  ,the 
nation was profoundly ignorant1 and     
consequently extremely religious1 so far
 as belief was concerned4  ,in ,europe  
liberty was lying chained up in the     
inquisition1 her white bosom stained    
with blood4  ,in the new world the      
,puritans had been hanging and burning  
in the name of ,god1 and selling white  
,quaker children into slavery in the    
name of ,christ1 who said1 ,suffer      
little children to come unto ,me4       
,under such conditions progress was     
impossible4  ,some one had to lead the  
way4  ,the church is and always has     
been1 incapable of a forward movement4  
,religion always looks back4  ,the      
church has already reduced ,spain to a  
guitar1 ,italy to a hand-organ1 and     

,ireland to exile4  ,some one1 not      
connected with the church1 had to attack
 the monster that was eating out the    
heart of the world4  ,some one had to   
sacrifice himself for the good of all4  
,the people were in the most abject     
slavery2 their manhood had been taken   
from them by pomp1 by pageantry1 and    
power4  ,progress is born of doubt and  
inquiry4  ,the church never             
doubts--never inquires4  ,to doubt is   
heresy--to inquire is to admit that you 
do not know--the church does neither4   
,more than a century ago ,catholicism1  
wrapped in robes red with the innocent  
blood of millions1 holding in her       
frantic clutch crowns and scepters1     
honors and gold1 the keys of heaven and 
hell1 tramping beneath her feet the     
liberties of nations1 in the proud      
movement of almost universal dominion1  
felt within her heartless breast the    
deadly dagger of ,voltaire4  ,from that 
blow the church can never recover4      
,livid with hatred she launched her     

eternal anathema at the great destroyer1
 and ignorant ,protestants have echoed  
the curse of ,rome4  ,in our country the
 church was all-powerful1 and1 although 
divided into many sects1 would instantly
 unite to repel a common foe4  ,paine   
did for ,protestantism what ,voltaire   
did for ,catholicism4  ,paine struck the
 first blow4  ,the ,age of ,reason did  
more to undermine the power of the      
,protestant church than all other books 
then known4  ,it furnished an immense   
amount of food for thought4  ,it was    
written for the average mind1 and is a  
straightforward1 honest investigation of
 the ,bible1 and of the ,christian      
,system4  ,paine did not falter from the
 first page to the last4  ,he gives you 
his candid thought1 and candid thoughts 
are always valuable4  ,the ,age of      
,reason has liberalized us all4  ,it put
 arguments in the mouths of the people2 
it put the church on the defensive1 it  
enabled somebody in every village to    
corner the parson2 it made the world    

wiser and the church better2 it took    
power from the pulpit and divided it    
among the pews4  ,just in proportion    
that the human race has advanced1 the   
church has lost its power4 ,there is no 
exception to this rule4  ,no nation ever
 materially advanced that held strictly 
to the religion of its founders4  ,no   
nation ever gave itself wholly to the   
control of the church without losing its
 power1 its honor1 and existence4       
,every church pretends to have found the
 exact truth4  ,this is the end of      
progress4  ,why pursue that which you   
have8  ,why investigate when you know4  
,every creed is a rock in running water2
 humanity sweeps by it4 ,every creed    
cries to the universe1 ,halt6  ,a creed 
is the ignorant past bullying the       
enlightened present4  ,the ignorant are 
not satisfied with what can be          
demonstrated4 ,science is too slow for  
them1 and so they invent creeds4  ,they 
demand completeness4 ,a sublime segment1
 a grand fragment1 are of no value to   

them4  ,they demand the complete        
circle--the entire structure4  ,in music
 they want a melody with a recurring    
accent at measured periods4 ,in religion
 they insist upon immediate answers to  
the questions of creation and destiny4  
,the alpha and omega of all things must 
be in the alphabet of their             
superstition4  ,a religion that can not 
answer every question1 and guess every  
conundrum1 is in their estimation1 worse
 than worthless4  ,they desire a kind of
 theological dictionary--a religious    
ready reckoner1 together with           
guide-boards at all crossings and turns4
 ,they mistake impudence for authority1 
solemnity for wisdom1 and pathos for    
inspiration4 ,the beginning and the end 
are what they demand4  ,the grand flight
 of the eagle is nothing to them4  ,they
 want the nest in which he was hatched1 
and especially the dry limb upon which  
he roosts4 ,anything that can be learned
 is hardly worth knowing4  ,the present 
is considered of no value in itself4    

,happiness must not be expected this    
side of the clouds1 and can only be     
attained by self-denial and faith2 not  
self-denial for the good of others1 but 
for the salvation of your own sweet     
self4  ,paine denied the authority of   
,bibles and creeds2 this was his crime1 
and for this the world shut the door in 
his face and emptied its slops upon him 
from the windows4  ,i challenge the     
world to show that ,thomas ,paine ever  
wrote one line1 one word in favor of    
tyranny--in favor of immorality2 one    
line1 one word against what he believed 
to be for the highest and best interest 
of mankind2 one line1 one word against  
justice1 charity1 or liberty1 and yet he
 has been pursued as though he had been 
a fiend from hell4 ,his memory had been 
execrated as though he had murdered some
 ,uriah for his wife2 driven some ,hagar
 into the desert to starve with his     
child upon her bosom2 defiled his own   
daughters2 ripped open with the sword   
the sweet bodies of loving and innocent 

women2 advised one brother to           
assassinate another2 kept a harem with  
seven hundred wives and three hundred   
concubines1 or had persecuted           
,christians even unto strange cities4   
,the church has pursued ,paine to deter 
others4  ,the church used painting1     
music1 and architecture simply to       
degrade mankind4  ,but there are men    
that nothing can awe4  ,there have been 
at all times brave spirits that dared   
even the gods4  ,some proud head has    
always been above the waves4 ,old       
,diogenes1 with his mantle upon him1    
stiff and trembling with age1 caught a  
small animal bred upon people1 went into
 the ,pantheon1 the temple of the gods1 
and took the animal upon his thumb nail1
 and1 pressing it with the other1 he    
sacrificed ,diogenes to all the gods4   
,just as good as anything6  ,in every   
age some ,diogenes has sacrificed to all
 the gods4 ,true genius never cowers1   
and there is always some ,samson feeling
 for the pillars of authority4          

,cathedrals and domes1 and chimes and   
chants1 temples frescoed and grained and
 carved1 and gilded with gold1 altars   
and tapers1 and paintings of virgin and 
babe1 censer and chalice1 chasuble1     
paten and alb1 organs1 and anthems and  
incense rising to the winged and blest1 
maniple1 anice and stole1 crosses and   
crosiers1 tiaras1 and crowns1 mitres and
 missals and masses1 rosaries1 relics   
and robes1 martyrs and saints1 and      
windows stained as with the blood of    
,christ1 never1 never for one moment    
awed the brave1 proud spirit of the     
infidel4  ,he knew that all the pomp and
 glitter had been purchased with        
liberty1 that priceless jewel of the    
soul4 ,in looking at the cathedral he   
remembered the dungeon4  ,the music of  
the organ was not loud enough to drown  
the clank of fetters4 ,he could not     
forget that the taper had lighted the   
fagot4  ,he knew that the cross adorned 
the hilt of the sword1 and so where     
others worshiped1 he wept and scorned4  

,he knew that across the open ,bible lay
 the sword of war1 and so where others  
worshiped he looked with scorn and wept4
  ,and so it has been through all the   
ages gone4  ,the doubter1 the           
investigator1 the infidel1 have been the
 saviors of liberty4  ,the truth is     
beginning to be realized1 and the truly 
intellectual are honoring the brave     
thinker of the past4  ,but the church is
 as unforgiving as ever1 and still      
wonders why any infidel should be wicked
 enough to attempt to destroy her power4
 ,i will tell the church why ,i hate it4
  ,you have imprisoned the human mind2  
you have been the enemy of liberty2 you 
have burned us at the stake1 roasted us 
before slow fires1 torn our flesh with  
irons2 you have covered us with chains1 
treated us as outcasts2 you have filled 
the world ,with fear2 you have taken our
 wives and children from our arms2 you  
have confiscated our property2 you have 
denied us the right to testify in courts
 of justice2 you have branded us with   

infamy2 you have torn out our tongues2  
you have refused us burial4  ,in the    
name of your religion you have robbed us
 of every right2 and after having       
inflicted upon us every evil that can be
 inflicted in this world1 you have      
fallen upon your knees1 and with clasped
 hands implored your ,god to finish the 
holy work in hell4  ,can you wonder that
 we hate your doctrines2 that we despise
 your creeds2 that we feel proud to know
 that we are beyond your power2 that we 
are free in spite of you2 that we can   
express our honest thought1 and that the
 whole world is gradually rising into   
the blessed light8 ,can you wonder that 
we point with pride to the fact that    
infidelity has ever been found battling 
for the rights of man1 for the liberty  
of conscience1 and for the happiness of 
all8  ,can you wonder that we are proud 
to know that we have always been        
disciples of reason and soldiers of     
freedom2 that we have denounced tyranny 
and superstition1 and have kept our     

hands unstained with human blood8  ,i   
deny that religion is the end or object 
of this life4  ,when it is so considered
 it becomes destructive of happiness4   
,the real end of life is1 happiness4    
,it becomes a hydra-headed monster1     
reaching in terrible coils from the     
heavens1 and thrusting its thousand     
fangs into the bleeding1 quivering      
hearts of men4  ,it devours their       
substance1 builds palaces for ,god 7who 
dwells not in temples made with hands71 
and allows ,his children to die in huts 
and hovels4  ,it fills the earth with   
mourning1 heaven with hatred1 the       
present with fear1 and all the future   
with fear and despair4  ,virtue is a    
subordination of the passion of the     
intellect4  ,it is to act in accordance 
with your highest convictions4 ,it does 
not consist in believing1 but in doing4 
,this is the sublime truth that the     
infidels in all ages have uttered4      
,they have handed the torch from one to 
the other through all the years that    

have fled4  ,upon the altar of reason   
they have kept the sacred fire1 and     
through the long midnight of faith they 
fed the divine flame4  ,infidelity is   
liberty2 all superstition is slavery4   
,in every creed man is the slave of     
,god1 woman is the slave of man1 and the
 sweet children are the slaves of all4  
,we do not want creeds2 we want some    
knowledge4  ,we want happiness4  ,and   
yet we are told by the church that we   
have accomplished nothing2 that we are  
simply destroyers2 that we tear down    
without building again4  ,is it nothing 
to free the mind8  ,is it nothing to    
civilize mankind8  ,is it nothing to    
fill the world with light1 with         
discovery1 with science8 ,is it nothing 
to dignify man and exalt the intellect4 
,is it nothing to grope your way into   
the dreary prisons1 the damp and        
dropping dungeons1 the dark and silent  
cells of superstition1 where the souls  
of men are chained to floors of stone2  
to greet them like a ray of light1 like 

the song of a bird1 the murmur of a     
stream1 to see the dull eyes open and   
grow slowly bright2 to feel yourself    
grasped by the shrunken and unused      
hands1 and hear yourself thanked by a   
strange and hollow voice8  ,is it       
nothing to conduct these souls gradually
 into the blessed light of day--to let  
them see again the happy fields1 the    
sweet1 green earth1 and hear the        
everlasting music of the waves8  ,is it 
nothing to make men wipe the dust from  
their swollen knees1 the tears from     
their blanched and furrowed cheeks8 ,is 
it a small thing to reave the heavens of
 an insatiate monster and write upon the
 eternal dome1 glittering with stars1   
the grand word liberty8  ,is it a small 
thing to quench the thirst of hell with 
the holy tears of piety1 break all the  
chains1 put out the fires of civil war1 
stay the sword of the fanatic1 and tear 
the bloody hands of the church from the 
white throat of progress8  ,is it a     
small thing to make men truly free1 to  

destroy the dogmas of ignorance1        
prejudice1 and power1 the poisoned      
fables of superstition1 and drive from  
the beautiful face of the earth the     
fiend of fear8  ,it does seem as though 
the most zealous ,christians must at    
times entertain some doubt as to the    
divine origin of his religion4 ,for     
eighteen hundred years the doctrine has 
been preached4  ,for more than a        
thousand years the church had1 to a     
great extent1 the control of the        
civilized world1 and what has been the  
result8 ,are the ,christian nations     
patterns of charity and forbearance8 ,on
 the contrary1 their principal business 
is to destroy each other4  ,more than   
five millions of ,christians are trained
 and educated and drilled to murder     
their fellow-,christians4  ,every nation
 is groaning under a vast debt incurred 
in carrying on war against other        
,christians1 or defending itself from   
,christian assault4  ,the world is      
covered with forts to protect           

,christians from ,christians1 and every 
sea is covered with iron monsters ready 
to blow ,christian brains into eternal  
froth4  ,millions upon millions are     
annually expended in the effort to      
construct still more deadly and terrible
 engines of death4  ,industry is        
crippled1 honest toil is robbed1 and    
even beggary is taxed to defray the     
expenses of ,christian murder4  ,there  
must be some other way to reform this   
world4 ,we have tried creed and dogma1  
and fable1 and they have failed--and    
they have failed in all the nations     
dead4  ,nothing but                     
education--scientific education--can    
benefit mankind4 ,we must find out the  
laws of nature and conform to them4  ,we
 need free bodies and free minds1 free  
labor and free thought1 chainless hands 
and fetterless brains4  ,free labor will
 give us wealth4  ,free thought will    
give us truth4  ,we need men with moral 
courage to speak and write their real   
thoughts1 and to stand by their         

convictions1 even to the very death4    
,we need have no fear of being too      
radical4  ,the future will verify all   
grand and brave predictions4  ,paine was
 splendidly in advance of his time1 but 
he was orthodox compared to the infidels
 of today4  ,science1 the great         
iconoclast1 has been very busy since    
#ahji1 and by the highway of progress   
are the broken images of the past4  ,on 
every hand the people advance4  ,the    
vicar of ,god has been pushed from the  
throne of the ,caesars1 and upon the    
roofs of the ,eternal city falls once   
more the shadow of the eagle4  ,all has 
been accomplished by the heroic few4    
,the men of science have explored heaven
 and earth1 and with infinite patience  
have furnished the facts4  ,the brave   
thinkers have aided them4 ,the gloomy   
caverns of superstition have been       
transformed into temples of thought1 and
 the demons of the past are the angels  
of today4  ,science took a handful of   
sand1 constructed a telescope1 and with 

it explored the starry depths of heaven4
  ,science wrested from the gods their  
thunderbolts2 and now1 the electric     
spark freighted with thought and love1  
flashes under all the waves of the sea4 
,science took a tear from the cheek of  
unpaid labor1 converted it into steam1  
and created a giant that turns with     
tireless arm the countless wheels of    
toil4  ,thomas ,paine was one of the    
intellectual heroes1 one of the men to  
whom we are indebted4  ,his name is     
associated forever with the great       
republic4  ,he lived a long1 laborious1 
and useful life4 ,the world is better   
for his having lived4  ,for the sake of 
truth he accepted hatred and reproach   
for his portion4  ,he ate the bitter    
bread of neglect and sorrow4  ,his      
friends were untrue to him because he   
was true to himself and true to them4   
,he lost the respect of what is called  
society1 but kept his own4  ,his life is
 what the world calls failure1 and what 
history calls success4  ,if to love your

 fellow-men more than self is goodness1 
,thomas ,paine was good4  ,if to be in  
advance of your time1 to be a pioneer in
 the direction of right1 is greatness1  
,thomas ,paine was great4  ,if to avow  
your principles and discharge your duty 
in the presence of death is heroic1     
,thomas ,paine was a hero4  ,at the age 
of #gc1 death touched his tired heart4  
,he died in the land his genius         
defended1 under the flag he gave to the 
skies4 ,slander can not touch him now2  
hatred can not reach him more4 ,he      
sleeps in the sanctuary of the tomb1    
beneath the quiet of the stars4  ,a few 
more years1 a few more brave men1 a few 
more rays of light1 and mankind will    
venerate the memory of him who said3    
,any system of religion that shocks the 
mind of a child can not be a true       
system4  ,the world is my country1 and  
to do good my religion4  ,the next      
question is3  ,did ,thomas ,paine       
recant8  ,mr4 ,paine had prophesied that
 fanatics would crawl and cringe around 

him during his last moments4  ,he       
believed that they would put a lie in   
the mouth of death4  ,when the shadow of
 the coming dissolution was upon him1   
two clergymen1 ,messrs4 ,milledollar and
 ,cunningham1 called to annoy the dying 
man4  ,mr4 ,cunningham had the          
politeness to say3  ,you have now a full
 view of death2 you can not live long2  
whoever does not believe in the ,lord   
,jesus ,christ1 will assuredly be       
damned4  ,mr4 ,paine replied3 ,let me   
have none of your popish stuff4  ,get   
away with you4  ,good morning4 ,on      
another occasion a ,methodist minister  
obtruded himself4 ,mr4 ,willet ,hicks   
was present4  ,the minister declared to 
,mr4 ,paine that unless he repented of  
his unbelief he would be damned4 ,paine1
 although at the door of death1 rose in 
his bed and indignantly requested the   
clergyman to leave the room4  ,on       
another occasion1 two brothers by the   
name of ,pigott sought to convert him4  
,he was displeased1 and requested their 

departure4 ,afterward1 ,thomas ,nixon   
and ,capt4 ,daniel ,pelton visited him  
for the express purpose of ascertaining 
whether he had1 in any manner1 changed  
his religious opinions4  ,they were     
assured1 by the dying man that he still 
held the principles he had expressed in 
his writings4  ,afterward1 these        
gentlemen1 hearing that ,william ,cobbet
 was about to write a life of ,paine1   
sent him the following note3  ,i must   
tell you now that it is of great        
importance to find out whether ,paine   
recanted4 ,if he recanted1 then the     
,bible is true--you can rest assured    
that a spring of water gushed out of a  
dead dry bone4  ,if ,paine recanted1    
there is not the slightest doubt about  
that donkey making that speech to ,mr4  
,baalam--not the slightest--and if      
,paine did not recant1 then the whole   
thing is a mistake4  ,i want to show    
that ,thomas ,paine died as he has      
lived1 a friend of man and without      
superstition1 and if you will stay here 

,i will do it4   ,new ,york1 ,april #ba1
 #ahah4--,sir3  ,having been informed   
that you have a design to write a       
history of the life and writings of     
,thomas ,paine1 if you have been        
furnished with materials in respect to  
his religious opinions1 or rather of his
 recantation of his former opinions     
before his death1 all you have heard of 
his recanting is false4  ,being aware   
that such reports would be raised after 
his death by fanatics who infested his  
house at the time it was expected he    
would die1 we1 the subscribers1 intimate
 acquaintances of ,thomas ,paine since  
the year #aggf1 went to his house4  ,he 
was sitting up in a chair1 and          
apparently in full vigor and use of all 
his mental faculties4  ,we interrogated 
him upon his religious opinions1 and if 
he had changed his mind1 or repented of 
anything he had said or wrote on that   
subject4  ,he answered1 ,not at all1 and
 appeared rather offended at our        
supposition that any change should take 

place in his mind4  ,we took down in    
writing the questions put to him and his
 answers thereto1 before a number of    
persons then in his room1 among whom    
were his doctor1 ,mrs4 ,bonneville1 etc4
  ,this paper is mislaid and can not be 
found at present1 but the above is the  
substance1 which can be attested by many
 living witnesses4--,thomas ,nixon1     
,daniel ,pelton   ,mr4 ,jarvis1 the     
artist1 saw ,mr4 ,paine one or two days 
before his death4 ,to ,mr4 ,jarvis he   
expressed his belief in his written     
opinions upon the subject of religion4  
,b4,f4 ,haskin1 an attorney of the ,city
 of ,new ,york1 also visited him1 and   
inquired as to his religious opinions4  
,paine was then upon the threshold of   
death1 but he did not tremble1 he was   
not a coward4  ,he expressed his firm   
and unshaken belief in the religious    
ideas he had given to the world4  ,dr4  
,manly was with him when he spoke his   
last words4  ,dr4 ,manly asked the dying
 man1 and ,dr4 ,manly was a ,christian1 

if he did not wish to believe that      
,jesus was the ,son of ,god1 and the    
dying philosopher answered3  ,i have no 
wish to believe on that subject4  ,amasa
 ,woodsworth sat up with ,thomas ,paine 
the night before his death4  ,in #ahci  
,gilbert ,vale1 hearing that ,woodsworth
 was living in or near ,boston1 visited 
him for the purpose of getting his      
statement1 and the statement was        
published in ,the ,beacon of ,june #e1  
#ahcj1 and here it is3   ,we have just  
returned from ,boston4  ,one object of  
our visit to that city was to see ,mr4  
,amasa ,woodsworth1 an engineer1 now    
retired in a handsome cottage and garden
 at ,east ,cambridge1 ,boston4  ,this   
gentleman owned the house occupied by   
,paine at his death1 while he lived next
 door4  ,as an act of kindness1 ,mr4    
,woodsworth visited ,mr4 ,paine every   
day for six weeks before his death4  ,he
 frequently sat up with him and did so  
on the last two nights of his life4  ,he
 was always there with ,dr4 ,manly1 the 

physician1 and assisted in removing ,mr4
 ,paine while his bed was prepared4  ,he
 was present when ,dr4 ,manly asked ,mr4
 ,paine if he wished to believe that    
,jesus ,christ was the ,son of ,god4    
,he said that lying on his back he used 
some action and with much emphasis      
replied3 ',i have no wish to believe on 
that subject4'  ,he lived some time     
after this1 but was not known to speak1 
for he died tranquilly4  ,he accounts   
for the insinuating style of ,dr4       
,manly's letter by stating that that    
gentleman1 just after its publication1  
joined a church4  ,he informs us that he
 has openly proved the doctor for the   
falsity contained in the spirit of that 
letter1 boldly declaring before ,dr4    
,manly1 who is still living1 that       
nothing which he saw justified the      
insinuations4  ,mr4 ,woodsworth assures 
us that he neither heard nor saw        
anything to justify the belief of any   
mental change in the opinions of ,mr4   
,paine previous to his death2 but that  

being very ill and in pain1 chiefly     
arising from the skin being removed in  
some parts by long lying1 he was        
generally too uneasy to enjoy           
conversation on abstract subjects4      
,this1 then1 is the best evidence that  
can be procured on this subject1 and we 
publish it while the contravening       
parties are yet alive1 and with the     
authority of ,mr4 ,woodsworth4--,gilbert
 ,vale   ,a few weeks ago ,i received   
the following letter1 which confirms the
 statement of ,mr4 ,vale3   ,near       
,stockton1 ,cal41 ,greenwood ,cottage1  
,july #i4 #ahgg4--;,col4 ,ingersoll3 ,in
 #ahab ,i talked with a gentleman in    
,boston4  ,i have forgotten his name2   
but he was then an engineer of the      
,charleston navy yard4  ,i am thus      
particular so that you can find his name
 on the books4  ,he told me that he     
nursed ,thomas ,paine in his last       
illness and closed his eyes when dead4  
,i asked him if he recanted and called  
upon ,god to save him4 ,he replied3     

,no2 he died as he had taught4  ,he had 
a sore upon his side1 and when we turned
 him it was very painful1 and he would  
cry out1 ',o ,god6' or something like   
that4  ',but1' said the narrator1 'that 
was nothing1 for he believed in a ,god4'
  ,i told him that ,i had often heard it
 asserted from the pulpit that ,mr4     
,paine had recanted in his last moment4 
,the gentleman said that it was not     
true1 and he appeared to be an          
intelligent1 truthful man4  ,with       
respect1 ,i remain1 etc41 ,philip       
,graves1 ,m4,d4   ,the next witness is  
,willet ,hicks1 a ,quaker preacher4  ,he
 says that during the last illness of   
,mr4 ,paine he visited him almost daily1
 and that ,paine died firmly convinced  
of the truth of the religious opinions  
that he had given to his fellow-men4    
,it was to this same ,willet ,hicks that
 ,paine applied for permission to be    
buried in the cemetery of the ,quakers4 
,permission was refused4 ,this refusal  
settles the question of recantation4    

,if he had recanted1 of course there    
would have been no objection to his body
 being buried by the side of the best   
hypocrites in the earth4  ,if ,paine    
recanted1 why should he denied a little 
earth for charity8  ,had he recanted1 it
 would have been regarded as a vast and 
splendid triumph for the gospel4  ,it   
would1 with much noise and pomp and     
ostentation1 have been heralded about   
the world4  ,here is another letter3    
,peoria1 ,ill41 ,oct4 #h1               
#ahgg4--,robert ,g4                     
,ingersoll--,esteemed ,friend3  ,my     
parents were ,friends 7,quakers74  ,my  
father died when ,i was very young4 ,the
 elderly and middle-aged ,friends       
visited at my mother's house4  ,we lived
 in the ,city of ,new ,york4  ,among the
 number ,i distinctly remember ,elias   
,hicks1 ,willet ,hicks1 and a ,mr4 --   
,day1 who was a bookseller in ,pearl    
,st4  ,there were many others whose     
names ,i do not now remember4 ,the      
subject of the recantation of ,thomas   

,paine of his views about the ,bible in 
his last illness1 or any other time1 was
 discussed by them in my presence at    
different times4  ,i learned from them  
that some of them had attended upon     
,thomas ,paine in his last sickness1 and
 ministered to his wants up to the time 
of his death4  ,and upon the question of
 whether he did recant there was but one
 expression4  ,they all said that he did
 not recant in any manner4 ,i often     
heard them say they wished he had       
recanted4  ,in fact1 according to them1 
the nearer he approached death the more 
positive he appeared to be in his       
convictions4  ,these conversations were 
from #ahbj to #ahbb4  ,i was at that    
time from ten to twelve years old1 but  
these conversations impressed themselves
 upon me because many thoughtless people
 then blamed the society of ,friends for
 their kindness to that arch-infidel1   
,thomas ,paine4  ,truly yours1 ,a4,c4   
,hankenson   ,a few days ago ,i received
 the following3   ,albany1 ,n4,y41      

,sept4 #bg1 #ahgg4--;,dear ,sir3  ,it is
 over twenty years ago that1            
professionally1 ,i made the acquaintance
 of ,john ,hogeboom1 a justice of the   
peace of the ,county ,rensselaer1 ,new  
,york4  ,he was then over seventy years 
of age1 and had the reputation of being 
a man of candor and integrity4  ,he was 
a great admirer of ,paine4  ,he told me 
he was personally acquainted with him1  
and used to see him frequently during   
the last years of his life in the ,city 
of ,new ,york1 where ,hogeboom then     
resided4  ,i asked him if there was any 
truth in the charge that ,paine was in  
the habit of getting    drunk4  ,he said
 that it was utterly false2 that he     
never heard of such a thing during the  
lifetime of ,mr4 ,paine1 and did not    
believe anyone else did4  ,i asked him  
about the recantation of his religious  
opinions on his deathbed1 and the       
revolting deathbed scenes that the world
 heard so much about4 ,he said there was
 no truth in them2 that he had received 

his information from persons who        
attended ,paine in his last illness1 and
 that he passed peacefully1 as we may   
say1 in the sunshine of a great soul4   
,yours truly1 ,w4,j4 ,hilton   ,the     
witnesses by whom ,i substantiate the   
fact that ,thomas ,paine did not recant1
 and that he died holding the religious 
opinions he had published are3  #a4     
,thomas ,nixon1 ,capt4 ,daniel ,pelton1 
,b4,f4 ,haskin4  ,these gentlemen       
visited him during his last illness for 
the purpose of ascertaining whether he  
had1 in any respect1 changed his views  
upon religion4  ,he told them that he   
had not4  #b4  ,james ,cheetham4  ,this 
man was the most malicious enemy ,mr4   
,paine had1 and yet he admits that      
,thomas ,paine died placidly1 and almost
 without a struggle4--,life of ,thomas  
,paine1 by ,james ,cheetham4  #c4  ,the 
ministers1 ,milledollar and ,cunningham4
  ,these gentleman told ,mr4 ,paine that
 if he died without believing in the    
,lord ,jesus ,christ1 he would be       

damned1 and ,paine replied3  ,let me    
have none of your popish stuff4  ,good  
morning4--,sherwin's ,life of ,paine1   
page #bbj4  #d4  ,mrs4 ,hedden4  ,she   
told these same preachers1 when they    
attempted to obtrude themselves upon    
,mr4 ,paine again1 that the attempt to  
convert ,mr4 ,paine was useless2 that if
 ,god did not change his mind1 no human 
power could4  #e4  ,andrew ,a4 ,dean4   
,this man lived upon ,paine's farm1 at  
,new ,rochelle1 and corresponded with   
him upon religious subjects4--,paine's  
,theological ,works1 page #cjh4  #f4    
,mr4 ,jarvis1 the artist with whom      
,paine lived4  ,he gives an account of  
an old lady coming to ,paine1 and       
telling him that ,god ,almighty had sent
 her to tell him that unless he repented
 and believed in the blessed savior he  
would be damned4  ,paine replied that   
,god would not send such a foolish old  
woman with such an impertinent          
message4--,clio ,rickman's ,life of     
,paine4  #g4  ,william ,carver1 with    

whom ,paine boarded4  ,mr4 ,carver said 
again and again that ,paine did not     
recant4  ,he knew him well1 and had     
every opportunity of knowing4--,life of 
,paine1 by ,vale4  #h4  ,dr4 ,manly1 who
 attended him in his last sickness1 and 
to whom ,paine spoke his last words4    
,dr4 ,manly asked him if he did not wish
 to believe in ,jesus ,christ4 and he   
replied3  ,i have no wish to believe on 
that subject4  #i4  ,willet ,hicks and  
,elias ,hicks1 who were with him        
frequently during his last sickness1 and
 both of whom tried to persuade him to  
recant4 ,according to their testimony   
,mr4 ,paine died as he lived--a believer
 in ,god and a friend to man4  ,willet  
,hicks was offered money to say         
something false against ,paine4  ,he was
 even offered money to remain silent1   
and allow others to slander the dead4   
,mr4 ,hicks1 speaking of ,thomas ,paine1
 said3  ,he was a good man4  ,thomas    
,paine was an honest man4  #aj4  ,amasa 
,woodsworth1 who was with him every day 

for some six weeks immediately preceding
 his death1 and sat up with him the last
 two nights of his life4  ,this man     
declares that ,paine did not recant1 and
 that he died tranquilly4  ,the evidence
 of ,mr4 ,woodsworth is conclusive4     
#aa4  ,thomas ,paine himself4  ,the will
 of ,mr4 ,paine1 written by himself1    
commences as follows3  ,the last will   
and testament of me1 the subscriber1    
,thomas ,paine1 reposing confidence in  
my ,creator1 ,god1 and in no other      
being1 for ,i know of no other1 nor     
believe in any other1 and closes with   
these words3  ,i have lived an honest   
and useful life to mankind4  ,my time   
has been spent in doing good1 and ,i die
 in perfect composure and resignation to
 the will of my ,creator1 ,god4  #ab4   
,if ,thomas ,paine recanted1 why do you 
pursue him8  ,if he recanted he died in 
your belief4  ,for what reason1 then1 do
 you denounce his death as cowardly8    
,if upon his death-bed he renounced the 
opinions he had published1 the business 

of defaming him should be done by       
infidels1 not by ,christians4  ,i ask   
,christians if it is honest to throw    
away the testimony of his friends1 the  
evidence of fair and honorable men1 and 
take the putrid words of avowed and     
malignant enemies8  ,when ,thomas ,paine
 was dying he was infested by fanatics1 
by the snaky spies of bigotry4  ,in the 
shadows of death were the unclean birds 
of prey waiting to tear1 with beak and  
claw1 the corpse of him who wrote the   
,rights of ,man1 and there lurking and  
crouching in the darkness1 were the     
jackals and hyenas of superstition1     
ready to violate his grave4 ,these birds
 of prey--these unclean beasts--are the 
witnesses produced and relied upon to   
malign the memory of ,thomas ,paine4    
,one by one the instruments of torture  
have been wrenched from the cruel clutch
 of the church1 until within the armory 
of orthodoxy there remains but one      
weapon--,slander4  ,against the         
witnesses that ,i have produced there   

can be brought just two--,mary ,roscoe  
and ,mary ,hinsdale4  ,the first is     
referred to in the memoir of ,stephen   
,grellet4  ,she had once been a servant 
in his house4 ,grellet tells what       
happened between this girl and ,paine4  
,according to this account1 ,paine asked
 her if she had ever read any of his    
writings1 and on being told that she had
 read very little of them1 he inquired  
what she thought of them1 adding that   
from such an one as she he expected a   
correct answer4  ,let us examine this   
falsehood4  ,why would ,paine expect a  
correct answer about his writings from  
one who read very little of them8 ,does 
not such a statement devour itself8     
,this young lady further said that the  
,age of ,reason was put in her hands1   
and that the more she read in it1 the   
more dark and distressed she felt1 and  
that she threw the book into the fire4  
,whereupon ,mr4 ,paine remarked3  ,i    
wish all had done as you did1 for if the
 devil ever had any agency in any work1 

he had in my writing that book4  ,the   
next is ,mary ,hinsdale4  ,she was a    
servant in the family of ,willet ,hicks4
  ,the church is always proving         
something by a nurse4 ,she1 like ,mary  
,roscoe1 was sent to carry some delicacy
 to ,mr4 ,paine4  ,to this young lady   
,paine1 according to his account1 said  
precisely the same that he did to ,mary 
,roscoe1 and she said the same thing to 
,mr4 ,paine4  ,my own opinion is that   
,mary ,roscoe and ,mary ,hinsdale are   
one and the same person1 or the same    
story has been1 by mistake1 put in the  
mouths of both4  ,it is not possible    
that the identical conversation should  
have taken place between ,paine and     
,mary ,roscoe and between him and ,mary 
,hinsdale4  ,mary ,hinsdale lived with  
,willet ,hicks1 and he pronounced her   
story a pious fraud and fabrication4    
,another thing about this witness4  ,a  
woman by the name of ,mary ,lockwood1 a 
,hicksite ,quaker1 died4  ,mary         
,hinsdale met her brother about that    

time and told him that his sister had   
recanted1 and wanted her to say so at   
her funeral4  ,this turned out to be a  
lie4  ,it has been claimed that ,mary   
,hinsdale made her statement to ,charles
 ,collins4  ,long after the alleged     
occurrence ,gilbert ,vale1 one of the   
biographers of ,paine1 had a            
conversation with ,collins concerning   
,mary ,hinsdale4  ,vale asked him what  
he thought of her4 ,he replied that some
 of the ,friends believed that she used 
opiates1 and that they did not give     
credit to her statements4  ,he also said
 that he believed what the ,friends     
said1 but thought that when a young     
,roman she might have told the truth4   
,in #ahah ,william ,cobbett came to ,new
 ,york4  ,he began collecting material  
for a life of ,thomas ,paine4  ,in this 
way he became acquainted with ,mary     
,hinsdale and ,charles ,collins4  ,mr4  
,cobbett gave a full account of what    
happened in a letter addressed to ,the  
,norwich ,mercury in #ahai4  ,from this 

account it seems that ,charles ,collins 
told ,cobbett that ,paine had recanted4 
,cobbett called for the testimony1 and  
told ,mr4 ,collins that he must give    
time1 place1 and circumstances4  ,he    
finally brought a statement that he     
stated had been made by ,mary ,hinsdale4
  ,armed with this document1 ,cobbett1  
in ,october of that year1 called upon   
the said ,mary ,hinsdale1 at ,no4 #aj   
,anthony ,street1 ,new ,york1 and showed
 her the statement4  ,upon being        
questioned by ,mr4 ,cobbett she said    
that it was so long ago that she could  
not speak positively to any part of the 
matter2 that she would not say that any 
part of the paper was true2 that she had
 never seen the paper1 and that she had 
never given ,charles ,collins authority 
to say anything about the matter in her 
name4  ,and so in the month of ,october1
 in the year of grace #ahah1 in the mist
 of fog and forgetfulness1 disappeared  
forever one ,mary ,hinsdale1 the last   
and only witness against the            

intellectual honesty of ,thomas ,paine4 
,a letter was written to the editor of  
,the ,new ,york ,world by the ,rev4     
,a4,w4 ,cornell1 in which he says3      
,sir3 ,i see by your paper that ,bob    
,ingersoll discredits ,mary ,hinsdale's 
story of the scenes which occurred at   
the death bed of ,thomas ,paine4 ,no one
 who knew that good old lady would for  
one moment doubt her veracity1 or       
question her testimony4  ,both she and  
her husband were ,quaker preachers1 and 
well known and respected inhabitants of 
,new ,york ,city4  ,ingersoll is right  
in his conjecture that ,mary ,roscoe and
 ,mary ,hinsdale were the same person4  
,her maiden name was ,roscoe and she    
married ,henry ,hinsdale4  ,my mother   
was a ,roscoe1 a niece of ,mary ,roscoe1
 and lived with her for some            
time4--,rev4 ,a4,w4 ,cornell1           
,harpersville1 ,n4,y4   ,the editor of  
the ,new ,york ,observer took up the    
challenge that ,i had thrown down4  ,i  
offered #ajjj in gold to any minister   

who would prove1 or to any person who   
would prove that ,thomas ,paine recanted
 in his last hours4  ,the ,new ,york    
,observer accepted the wager1 and then  
told a falsehood about it4  ,but ,i kept
 after the gentlemen until ,i forced    
them1 in their paper1 published on the  
#ast of ,november1 #ahgg2 to print these
 words3   ,we have never stated in any  
form1 nor have we ever supposed1 that   
,paine actually renounced his           
infidelity4  ,the accounts agree in     
stating that he died a blaspheming      
infidel4   ,this1 ,i hope1 for all      
coming time will refute the slanders of 
the churches yet to be4  ,the next      
charge they make is that ,thomas ,paine 
died in destitution and want4  ,that1 of
 course1 would show that he was wrong4  
,they boast that the founder of their   
religion had not whereon to lay his     
head1 but when they found a man who     
stood for the rights of man1 when they  
say that he did1 that is an evidence    
that this doctrine was a lie4  ,won't   

do6  ,did ,thomas ,paine die in         
destitution and want8  ,the charge has  
been made over and over again that      
,thomas ,paine died in want and         
destitution2 that he was an abandoned   
pauper--an outcast1 without friends and 
without money4 ,this charge is just as  
false as the  rest4  ,upon his return to
 this country1 in #ahjb1 he was worth   
#cj1jjj1 according to his own statement1
 made at that time in the following     
letter1 and addressed to ,clio ,rickman3
   ,my dear friend1 ,mr4 ,monroe1 who is
 appointed minister extraordinary to    
,france1 takes charge of this1 to be    
delivered to ,mr4 ,este1 banker1 in     
,paris1 to be forwarded to you4  ,i     
arrived in ,baltimore1 #cjth of         
,october1 and you can have no idea of   
the agitation which my arrival          
occasioned4  ,from ,new ,hampshire to   
,georgia 7an extent of #a1ejj miles71   
every newspaper was filled with applause
 or abuse4  ,my property in this country
 has been taken care of by my friends1  

and is now worth six thousand pounds    
sterling1 which1 put in the funds1 will 
bring about ,l#djj sterling a year4     
,remember me in affection and friendship
 to your wife and family1 and in the    
circle of your friends4--,thomas ,paine 
,a man in those days worth #cj1jjj was  
not a pauper4  ,that amount would bring 
an income of at least #b1jjj4  ,two     
thousand dollars then would be fully    
equal to #e1jjj now4  ,on the #abth of  
,july1 #ahji1 the year in which he died1
 ,mr4 ,paine made his will4  ,from this 
instrument we learn that he was the     
owner of a valuable farm within twenty  
miles of ,new ,york4  ,he was also owner
 of thirty shares in the ,new ,york     
,phoenix ,insurance ,company1 worth     
upward of #a1ejj4  ,besides this1 some  
personal property and ready money4 ,by  
his will he gave to ,walter ,morton and 
,thomas ,addis ,emmet1 a brother of     
,robert ,emmet1 #bjj each1 and #ajj to  
the widow of ,elihu ,palmer4  ,is it    
possible that this will was made by a   

pauper1 by a destitute outcast1 by a man
 who suffered for the ordinary          
necessities of life8  ,but suppose1 for 
the sake of argument1 that he was poor1 
and that he died a beggar1 does that    
tend to show that the ,bible is an      
inspired book1 and that ,calvin did not 
burn ,servetus8  ,do you really regard  
poverty as a crime8  ,if ,paine had died
 a millionaire1 would ,christians have  
accepted his religious opinions8  ,if   
,paine had drank nothing but cold water1
 would ,christians have repudiated the  
five cardinal points of ,calvinism8     
,does an argument depend for its force  
upon the pecuniary condition of the     
person making it8  ,as a matter of fact1
 most reformers--most men and women of  
genius--have been acquainted with       
poverty4 ,beneath a covering of rags    
have been found some of the tenderest   
and bravest hearts4  ,owing to the      
attitude of the churches for the last   
fifteen hundred years1 truth telling has
 not been a very lucrative business4    

,as a rule1 hypocrisy has worn the      
robes1 and honesty the rags4  ,that day 
is passing away4 ,you can not now answer
 a man by pointing at the holes in his  
coat4  ,thomas ,paine attacked the      
church when it was powerful2 when it had
 what is called honors to bestow2 when  
it was the keeper of the public         
conscience2 when it was strong and      
cruel4 ,the church waited till he was   
dead1 and then attacked his reputation  
and his clothes4  ,once upon a time a   
donkey kicked a lion4 ,the lion was     
dead4  ,you just don't know how happy ,i
 am tonight that justice so long delayed
 at last is going to be done1 and to see
 so many splendid looking people come   
here out of deference to the memory of  
,thomas ,paine4  ,i am glad to be here4 
,the next thing is3  ,did ,thomas ,paine
 live the life of a drunken beast1 and  
did he die a drunken1 cowardly1 and     
beastly death8 ,well1 we will see4      
,upon you rests the burden of           
substantiating these infamous charges4  

,the ,christians have1 ,i suppose1      
produced the best evidence in their     
possession1 and that evidence ,i will   
now proceed to examine4 ,their first    
witness is ,grant ,thorburn4 ,he made   
three charges against ,thomas ,paine3   
#a4  ,that his wife obtained a divorce  
from him in ,england for cruelty and    
neglect4  #b4  ,that he was a defaulter 
and fled from ,england to ,america4  #c4
 ,that he was a drunkard4  ,these three 
charges stand upon the same             
evidence--the word of ,grant ,thorburn4 
,if they are not all true1 ,mr4         
,thorburn stands impeached4 ,the charge 
that ,mrs4 ,paine obtained a divorce on 
account of the cruelty and neglect of   
her husband is utterly false4  ,there is
 no such record in the world1 and never 
was4 ,paine and his wife separated by   
mutual consent4 ,each respected the     
other4  ,they remained friends4  ,this  
charge is without any foundation4  ,in  
fact1 ,i challenge the ,christian world 
to produce the record of this decree of 

divorce4  ,according to ,mr4 ,thorburn1 
it was granted in ,england4  ,in that   
country public records are kept of all  
such decrees4  ,i will give #a1jjj if   
they will produce a decree1 showing that
 it was given on account of cruelty1 or 
admit that ,mr4 ,thorburn was mistaken4 
,thomas ,paine was a just man4          
,although separated from his wife1 he   
always spoke of her with tenderness and 
respect1 and frequently lent her money  
without letting her know the source from
 whence it came4  ,was this the conduct 
of a drunken beast8  ,the next is that  
he was a defaulter1 and fled from       
,england to ,america4 ,as ,i told you in
 the first place1 he was an exciseman2  
if he was a defaulter1 that fact is upon
 the records of ,great ,britain4  ,i    
will give #a1jjj in gold to any man who 
will show1 by the records of ,england1  
that he was a defaulter of a single1    
solitary cent4  ,let us bring these     
gentlemen to ,limerick4  ,and they      
charge that he was a drunkard4  ,that is

 another falsehood4  ,he drank liquor in
 his day1 as did the preachers4  ,it was
 no unusual thing for a preacher going  
home to stop in a tavern and take a     
drink of hot rum with a deacon1 and it  
was no unusual thing for the deacon to  
help the preacher home4  ,you have no   
idea how they loved the sacrament in    
those days4  ,they had communion pretty 
much all the time4  ,thorburn says that 
in #ahjb ,paine was an old remnant of   
mortality1 drunk1 bloated1 and half     
asleep4  ,can anyone believe this to be 
a true account of the personal          
appearance of ,mr4 ,paine in #ahjb8  ,he
 had just returned from ,france4  ,he   
had been welcomed home by ,thomas       
,jefferson1 who had said that he was    
entitled to the hospitality of every    
,american4 ,in #ahjb ,mr4 ,paine was    
honored with a public dinner in the     
,city of ,new ,york4  ,he was called    
upon and treated with kindness and      
respect by such men as ,de ,witt        
,clinton4  ,in #ahjf ,mr4 ,paine wrote a

 letter to ,andrew ,a4 ,dean upon the   
subject of religion4  ,read that letter 
and then say that the writer of it was  
an old remnant of mortality1 drunk1     
bloated1 and half asleep4  ,search the  
files of ,christian papers1 from the    
first issue to the last1 and you will   
find nothing superior to this letter4   
,in #ahjc ,mr4 ,paine wrote a letter of 
considerable length1 and of great force 
to his friend ,samuel ,adams4  ,such    
letters are not written by drunken      
beasts1 nor by remnants of old          
mortality1 nor by drunkards4  ,it was   
about the same time that he wrote his   
,remarks on ,robert ,hall's ,sermons4   
,these ,remarks were not written by a   
drunken beast1 but by a clear-headed and
 thoughtful man4  ,in #ahjd he published
 an essay on the invasion of ,england   
and a treatise on gun-boats1 full of    
valuable maritime information2 in #ahje 
a treatise on yellow fever1 suggesting  
modes of prevention4 ,in short1 he was  
an industrious and thoughtful man4  ,he 

sympathized with the poor and oppressed 
of all lands4  ,he looked upon monarchy 
as a species of physical slavery4  ,he  
had the goodness to attack that form of 
government4  ,he regarded the religion  
of his day as a kind of mental slavery4 
,he had the courage to give his reasons 
for his opinion4  ,his reasons filled   
the churches with hatred4  ,instead of  
answering his arguments they attacked   
him4  ,men who were not fit to blacken  
his shoes blackened his character4      
,there is too much religious cant in the
 statement of ,mr4 ,thorburn4  ,he      
exhibits too much anxiety to tell what  
,grant ,thorburn said to ,thomas ,paine4
  ,he names ,thomas ,jefferson as one of
 the disreputable men who welcomed      
,paine with open arms4  ,the testimony  
of a man who regarded ,thomas ,jefferson
 as a disreputable person1 as to the    
character of anybody1 is utterly without
 value4  ,now1 ,grant ,thorburn--this   
gentleman who was four feet and a half  
high1 and who weighed ninety-eight      

pounds three and one-half ounces--says  
that he used to sit nights at ,carver's1
 in ,new ,york1 with ,thomas ,paine4    
,mrs4 ,ferguson1 the daughter of        
,william ,carver1 says that she knew    
,thorburn when she saw him1 but that she
 never saw him in her father's house4   
,the denial of ,mrs4 ,ferguson enraged  
,thorburn1 and he at once wrote a few   
falsehoods about her4  ,thereupon a suit
 was commenced by ,mrs4 ,ferguson and   
her husband against ,thorburn1 the      
writer1 and ,fanshaw1 the publisher1 of 
the libel4  ,thorburn ran away to       
,connecticut4 ,fanshaw wrote him for    
evidence of what he had written4        
,thorburn replied that what he had      
written about ,mrs4 ,ferguson could not 
be proved4  ,fanshaw then settled with  
the ,fergusons1 paying them the amount  
demanded4  ,in #ahei the ,fergusons     
lived at #adh ,duane ,street1 ,new      
,york4  ,in ,the ,commercial ,advertiser
 of ,new ,york1 in #ahcj1 appeared the  
written acknowledgement of this same    

little ,grant ,thorburn that he did1 on 
the #bb;d of ,august1 #ahcj1 at         
half-past #f in the morning1 take four  
bottles of cider from the cellar of ,mr4
 ,comstock4  ,mr4 ,comstock says that   
,thorburn was arrested1 and that when   
brought before him he pleaded guilty and
 threw himself upon his 7,comstock's7   
mercy4  ,the ,philadelphia ,tract       
,society gave ,thorburn #ajj to write   
his recollections of ,thomas ,paine4    
,let us dispose of this four feet and a 
half of wretch4  ,in ,october1 #ahgg1 ,i
 received the following letter from     
,james ,parton3   ,newburyport1 ,mass41 
,oct #bg1 #ahgg4--,my dear ,sir3        
,touching ,grant ,thorburn1 ,i          
personally knew him to have been a liar4
  ,at the age of #ib he copied with     
trembling hand a piece from a newspaper 
and brought it to the office of ,the    
,rome ,journal as his own4  ,it was ,i  
who received it and detected the        
deliberate forgery44444 ,james ,parton  
,so much for ,grant ,thorburn4  ,in my  

judgment1 the testimony of ,mr4         
,thorburn should be thrown aside as     
utterly unworthy of belief4  ,the next  
witness is the ,rev4 ,j4,d4 ,wickham1   
,d4,d41 who tells what an elder in his  
church said4  ,this elder said that     
,paine passed his last days on his farm 
at ,new ,rochelle1 with a solitary      
female attendant4 ,this is not true4    
,he did not pass his last days at ,new  
,rochelle1 consequently1 this pious     
elder did not see him during his last   
days at that place4  ,upon this elder we
 prove an alibi4  ,mr4 ,paine passed his
 last days in the ,city of ,new ,york1  
in a house upon ,columbia ,street4 ,the 
story of the ,rev4 ,j4,d4 ,wickham1     
,d4,d41 is simply false4  ,the next     
competent false witness was the ,rev4   
,charles ,hawley1 ,d4,d41 who proceeds  
to state that the story of the ,rev4    
,j4,d4 ,wickham1 ,d4 ,d41 is            
corroborated by older citizens of ,new  
,rochelle4  ,the names of these ancient 
residents are withheld4 ,according to   

these unknown witnesses1 the account    
given by the deceased elder was entirely
 correct4  ,but as the particulars of   
,mr4 ,paine's conduct were too loathsome
 to be described in print1 we are left  
entirely in the dark as to what he      
really did4  ,while at ,new ,rochelle1  
,mr4 ,paine lived with ,mr4 ,purdy1 ,mr4
 ,dean1 with ,capt4 ,pelton1 and with   
,mr4 ,staple4  ,it is worthy of note    
that all of these gentlemen give the lie
 direct to the statements of older      
residents and ancient citizens spoken of
 by the ,rev4 ,charles ,hawley1 ,d4,d41 
and leave him with the loathsome        
particulars existing only in his own    
mind4  ,the next gentleman brought upon 
the stand is ,w4,h4 ,ladd1 who quotes   
from the memoirs of ,stephen ,grellett4 
,this gentleman also has the misfortune 
to be dead4  ,according to his account1 
,mr4 ,paige made his recantation to a   
servant girl of his by the name of ,mary
 ,roscoe4  ,mr4 ,paine uttered the wish 
that all who read his book had burned   

it4  ,i believe there is a mistake in   
the name of this girl4  ,her name was   
probably ,mary ,hinsdale1 as it was once
 claimed that ,paine made the same      
remark to her4  ,these are the witnesses
 of the church1 and the only ones you   
bring forward to support your charge    
that ,thomas ,paine lived a drunken and 
beastly life1 and died a drunken1       
cowardly1 and beastly death4  ,all these
 calumnies are found in a life of ,paine
 by ,james ,cheetham1 the convicted     
libeler already referred to4 ,mr4       
,cheetham was an enemy of the man whose 
life he pretended to write4  ,in order  
to show you the estimation in which this
 libeler was held by ,mr4 ,paine1 ,i    
will give you a copy of a letter that   
throws light upon this point3   ,oct4   
#bg1 #ahjg4--,mr4 ,cheethan3  ,unless   
you make a public apology for the abuse 
and falsehood in your paper of ,tuesday1
 ,oct4 #bg1 respecting me1 ,i will      
prosecute you for lying4--,thomas ,paine
   ,in another letter1 speaking of this 

same man1 ,mr4 ,paine says3 ,if an      
unprincipled bully can not be reformed1 
he can be punished4  ,cheetham has been 
so long in the habit of giving false    
information1 that truth is to him like a
 foreign language4 ,mr4 ,cheetham wrote 
the life of ,mr4 ,paine to gratify his  
malice and to support religion4  ,he was
 prosecuted for libel--was convicted and
 fined4  ,yet the life of ,paine1       
written by this liar1 is referred to by 
the ,christian world as the highest     
authority4  ,as to the personal habits  
of ,mr4 ,paine1 we have the testimony of
 ,william ,carver2 with whom he lived2  
of ,mr4 ,jarvis1 the artist1 with whom  
he lived2 of ,mr4 ,purdy1 who was a     
tenant of ,paine's2 of ,mr4 ,buyer1 with
 whom he was intimate2 of ,thomas ,nixon
 and ,capt4 ,daniel ,pelton1 both of    
whom knew him well2 of ,amasa           
,woodsworth1 who was with him when he   
died2 of ,john ,fellows1 who boarded at 
the same house2 of ,james ,wilburn1 with
 whom he boarded2 of ,b4,f4 ,haskins1 a 

lawyer1 who was well acquainted with    
him1 and called upon him during h is    
last illness2 of ,walter ,morton1       
,president of the ,phoenix ,insurance   
,company2 of ,clio ,rickman1 who had    
known him for many years2 of ,willet and
 ,elias ,hicks1 ,quakers1 who knew him  
intimately and well2 of ,judge ,hertell1
 ,h4 ,margary1 ,elihu ,palmer and many  
others4  ,all these testified to the    
fact that ,mr4 ,paige was a temperate   
man4  ,in those days nearly everybody   
used spirituous liquors4  ,paine was not
 an exception1 but he did not drink to  
excess4 ,mr4 ,lovett1 who kept the ,city
 ,hotel1 where ,paine stopped1 in a note
 to ,caleb ,bingham declared that ,paine
 drank less than any boarder he had4    
,against all this evidence ,christians  
produce the story of ,grant ,thorburn1  
the story of the ,rev4 ,j4,d4 ,wickham1 
that an elder in his church told him    
that ,paine was a drunkard1 corroborated
 by the ,rev4 ,charles ,hawley1 and an  
extract from ,lossing's history to the  

same effect4  ,the evidence is          
overwhelmingly against them4 ,will you  
have the fairness to admit it8  ,their  
witnesses are merely the repeaters of   
the falsehoods of ,james ,cheetham1 the 
convicted libeler4  ,after all1 drinking
 is not as bad as lying4  ,an honest    
drunkard is better than a calumniator of
 the dead4  ,a remnant of old mortality 
drunk1 bloated1 and half-asleep1 is     
better than a perfectly sober defender  
of human slavery4  ,to become drunk is a
 virtue compared with stealing a babe   
from the breast of its mother4          
,drunkenness is one of the beatitudes1  
compared with editing a religious paper 
devoted to the defense of slavery upon  
the ground that it is a divine          
institution4  ,do you think that ,paine 
was a drunken beast when he wrote       
,common ,sense1 a pamphlet that aroused 
three millions of people1 as people were
 never aroused by words before8  ,was he
 a drunken beast when he wrote the      
,crisis8  ,was it to a drunken beast    

that the following letter was addressed3
   ,rocky ,hill1 ,september #aj1        
#aghc4--;,i have learned1 since ,i have 
been at this place1 that you are at     
,bordentown4  ,whether for the sake of  
retirement or economy1 ,i know not4  ,be
 it for either1 or both1 or whatever it 
may1 if you will come to this place and 
partake with me1 ,i shall be exceedingly
 happy to see you at it4 ,your presence 
may remind ,congress of your past       
services to this country2 and if it is  
in my power to impress them1 command my 
best exertions with freedom1 as they    
will be rendered cheerfully by one who  
entertains a lively sense of the        
importance of your works1 and who1 with 
much pleasure1 subscribes himself your  
sincere friend4--,george ,washington    
,do you think that ,paine was a drunken 
beast when the following letters were   
received by him3   ,you express a wish  
in your letter to return to ,america in 
a national ship4  ,mr4 ,dawson1 who     
brings over the treaty1 and who will    

present you with this letter1 is charged
 with orders to the ,captain of the     
,maryland to receive and accommodate you
 back1 if you can be ready to depart at 
such a short warning4  ,you will1 in    
general1 find us returned to sentiments 
worthy of former times2 in these it will
 be your glory to have steadily labored1
 and with as much effect as any man     
living4  ,that you may live long to     
continue your useful labors1 and reap   
the reward in the thankfulness of       
nations1 is my sincere prayer4  ,accept 
the assurances of my high esteem and    
affectionate attachment4--,thomas       
,jefferson   ,it has been very generally
 propagated through the continent that  
,i wrote the pamphlet ,common ,sense4   
,i could not have written anything in so
 manly and striking a style4--,john     
,adams   ,a few more such flaming       
arguments as were exhibited at ,falmouth
 and ,norfolk1 added to the sound       
doctrine and unanswerable reasoning     
contained in the pamphlet ,common       

,sense1 will not leave numbers at a loss
 to decide on the propriety of a        
separation4--,george ,washington   ,it  
is not necessary for me to tell you how 
much all your countrymen--,i speak of   
the great mass of the people--are       
interested in your welfare4 ,they have  
not forgotten the history of their own  
revolution1 and the difficult scenes    
through which they passed2 nor do they  
review its several stages without       
reviving in their bosoms a due          
sensibility of the merits of those who  
served them in that great and arduous   
conflict4 ,the crime of ingratitude has 
not yet stained1 and ,i trust never will
 stain1 our national character4  ,you   
are considered by them as not only      
having rendered important services in   
our revolution1 but as being on a more  
extensive scale the friend of human     
right and a distinguished and able      
advocate in favor of public liberty4    
,to the welfare of ,thomas ,paine1 the  
,americans are not1 nor can they be1    

indifferent4--,james ,monroe   ,no      
writer has exceeded ,paine in ease and  
familiarity of style1 in perspicuity of 
expression1 happiness of elucidation1   
and in simple and unassuming            
language4--,thomas ,jefferson   ,was it 
in consideration of the services of a   
drunken beast that the ,legislature of  
,pennsylvania presented ,thomas ,paine  
with ,l#ejj sterling8 ,did the ,state of
 ,new ,york feel indebted to a drunken  
beast1 and confer upon ,thomas ,paine an
 estate of several hundred acres8  ,did 
the ,congress of the ,united ,states    
thank him for his services because he   
had lived a drunken and beastly life8   
,was he elected a member of the ,french 
convention because he was a drunken     
beast8  ,was it the act of a drunken    
beast to put his own life in jeopardy by
 voting against the death of the ,king8 
,was it because he was a drunken beast  
that he opposed the ,reign of ,terror   
--that he endeavored to stop the        
shedding of blood1 and did all in his   

power to protect even his own enemies8  
,do the following extracts sound like   
the words of a drunken beast3   ,i      
believe in the equality of man1 and ,i  
believe that religious duties consist in
 doing justice1 loving mercy1 and       
endeavoring to make our fellow creatures
 happy4  ,my own mind is my own church4 
,it is necessary to the happiness of man
 that he be mentally faithful to        
himself4  ,any system of religion that  
shocks the mind of a child can not be a 
true system4  ,the work of ,god is the  
creation which we behold4  ,the age of  
ignorance commenced with the ,christian 
system4  ,it is with a pious fraud as   
with a bad action--it begets a          
calamitous necessity of going on4  ,to  
read the ,bible without horror1 we must 
undo everything that is tender1         
sympathizing1 and benevolent in the     
heart of man4  ,the man does not exist  
who can say ,i have persecuted him1 or  
that ,i have1 in any case1 returned evil
 for evil4  ,of all the tyrants that    

afflict mankind1 tyranny in religion is 
the worst4  ,the belief in a cruel ,god 
makes a cruel man4  ,my own opinion is1 
that those whose lives have been spent  
in doing good1 and endeavoring to make  
their fellow-mortals happy1 will be     
happy hereafter4  ,the intellectual part
 of religion is a private affair between
 every man and his ,maker1 and in which 
no third party has any right to         
interfere4 ,the practical part consists 
in our doing good to each other4  ,no   
man ought to make a living by religion4 
,one person can not act religion for    
another--every person must act for      
himself4  ,one good school-master is of 
more use than a hundred priests4 ,let us
 propagate morality1 unfettered by      
superstition4  ,god is the power1 or    
first cause2 nature is the law1 and     
matter is the subject acted upon4  ,i   
believe in one ,god and no more1 and ,i 
hope for happiness beyond this life4    
,the key of happiness is not in the     
keeping of any sect1 nor ought the road 

to it to be obstructed by any4  ,my     
religion1 and the whole of it1 is the   
fear and love of the ,deity1 and        
universal philanthropy4  ,i have yet1 ,i
 believe1 some years in store1 for ,i   
have a good state of health and a happy 
mind4  ,i take care of both1 by         
nourishing the first with temperance and
 the latter with abundance4  ,he lives  
immured within the ,bastille of a word4 
,how perfectly that sentence describes  
the orthodox4  ,the ,bastille in which  
they are immured is the word ,calvinism4
  ,man has no property in man4  ,the    
world is my country1 to do good my      
religion4  ,i ask again whether these   
splendid utterances came from the lips  
of a drunken beast8  ,man has no        
property in man4  ,what a splendid motto
 that would make for the religious      
newspapers of this country thirty years 
ago4  ,i ask1 again1 whether these      
splendid utterances came from the lips  
of a drunken beast8  ,only a little     
while ago--two or three days--,i read a 

report of an address made by ,bishop    
,doane1 an ,episcopal ,bishop in        
apostolic succession--regular line from 
,jesus ,christ down to ,bishop ,doane4  
,the ,bishop was making a speech to     
young preachers--the sprouts1 the       
theological buds4  ,he took it upon him 
to advise them all against early        
marriages4  ,let us look at it4  ,do you
 believe there is any duty that man owes
 to ,god that will prevent a man        
marrying the woman he loves8 ,is there  
some duty that ,i owe to the clouds that
 will prevent me from marrying some     
good1 sweet woman8  ,now1 just think of 
that6  ,i tell you1 young man1 you marry
 as soon as you can find her and support
 her4  ,i had rather have one woman that
 ,i know than any amount of gods that ,i
 am not acquainted with4  ,if there is  
any revelation from ,god to man1 a good 
woman is the best revelation he has ever
 made2 and ,i will admit that that      
revelation was inspired4  ,now1 on the  
subject of marriage1 let me offset the  

speech of ,bishop ,doane by a word from 
this wretched infidel3   ,though ,i     
appear a sorry wanderer1 the marriage   
state has not a sincerer friend than ,i4
  ,it is the harbor of human life1 and  
is1 with respect to the things of this  
world1 what the next world is to this4  
,it is home1 and that one word conveys  
more than any other word can express4   
,for a few years we may glide along the 
tide of a single life1 but it is a tide 
that flows but once1 and1 what is still 
worse1 it ebbs faster than it flows1 and
 leaves many a hapless voyager aground4 
,i am one1 you see1 that has experienced
 the fall ,i am describing4  ,i have    
lost my tide2 it passed by while every  
throb of my heart was on the wing for   
the salvation of ,america1 and ,i have  
now1 as contentedly as ,i can1 made     
myself a little tower of walls on that  
shore that has the solitary resemblance 
of home4   ,i just want you to know what
 this dreadful infidel thought of home4 
,i just wanted you to know what ,thomas 

,paine thought of home4  ,then here is  
another letter that ,thomas ,paine wrote
 to congress on the #bast day of        
,january1 #ahjh1 and ,i wanted you to   
know those two4  ,it is only a short    
one3   ,to the ,honorable ,senate of the
 ,united ,states3  ,the purport of this 
address is to state a claim ,i feel     
myself entitled to make on the ,united  
,states1 leaving it to their            
representatives in congress to decide on
 its worth and its merits4  ,the case is
 as follows3  ,toward the latter end of 
the year #aghj the continental money had
 become depreciated--the paper dollar   
being then not more than a cent--that it
 seemed next to impossible to continue  
the war4  ,as the ,united ,states was   
then in alliance with ,france it became 
necessary to make ,france acquainted    
with our real situation4  ,i therefore  
drew up a letter to the ,count ,de      
,vergennes1 stating undisguisedly the   
whole case1 and concluding with a       
request whether ,france could not1      

either as a subsidy of a loan1 supply   
the ,united ,states with a million      
pounds sterling1 and continue that      
supply1 annually1 during the war4  ,i   
showed this letter to ,mr4 ,morbois1    
secretary of the ,french minister4 ,his 
remark upon it was that a million sent  
out of the nation exhausted it more than
 ten millions spent in it4  ,i then     
showed it to ,mr4 ,ralph ,izard1 member 
of congress from ,south ,carolina4  ,he 
borrowed the letter of me and said3     
',we will endeavor to do something about
 it in congress4'  ,accordingly1        
congress then appointed ,john ,a4       
,laurens to go to ,france and make      
representation for the purpose of       
obtaining assistance4  ,col4 ,laurens   
wished to decline the mission1 and asked
 that congress would appoint ,col4      
,hamilton1 who did not choose to do it4 
,col4 ,laurens then came and stated the 
case to me1 and said that he was well   
enough acquainted with the military     
difficulties of the army1 but he was not

 acquainted with political affairs1 or  
with the resources of the country1 to   
undertake such a mission4  ,said he1    
',if you will go with me ,i will accept 
the mission4' ,this ,i agreed to do1 and
 did do4 ,we sailed from ,boston in the 
,alliance frigate ,february1 #agha1 and 
arrived in ,france in the beginning of  
,march4 ,the aid obtained from ,france  
was six millions of livres1 as at       
present1 and ten millions as a loan1    
borrowed in ,holland on the security of 
,france4  ,we sailed from ,brest in the 
,french frigate ,resolue the #ast of    
,june1 and arrived at ,boston on the    
#beth of ,august1 bringing with us two  
millions and a half in silver1 and      
conveying a chip and a brig laden with  
clothing and military stores4  ,the     
money was transported with sixteen ox   
teams to the ,national bank at          
,philadelphia1 which enabled our army to
 move to ,yorktown to attack in         
conjunction with the ,french army under 
,rochambeau1 the ,british army under    

,cornwallis4  ,as ,i never had a single 
cent for these services1 ,i felt myself 
entitled1 as the country is now in a    
state of prosperity1 to state the case  
to congress4  ,as to my political works1
 beginning with the pamphlet ',common   
,sense1' published the beginning of     
,january #aggf1 which awakened ,america 
to a declaration of independence as the 
president and vice-president both know1 
as they were works done from principle  
,i can not dishonor that principle by   
ever asking any reward for them4  ,the  
country has been benefited by them1 and 
,i make myself happy in the knowledge of
 that benefit4  ,it is1 however1 proper 
for me to add that the mere independence
 of ,america1 were it to have been      
followed by a system of government      
modeled after the corrupt system of the 
,english government1 would not have     
interested me with the unabated ardor it
 did4  ,it was to bring forward and     
establish a representative system of    
government4  ,as the work itself will   

show1 that was the leading principle    
with me in writing that work1 and all my
 other works during the progress of the 
revolution1 and ,i followed the same    
principle in writing in ,english the    
',rights of ,man4'  ,after the failure  
of the #e percent duty recommended by   
congress to pay the interest of the loan
 to be borrowed in ,holland1 ,i wrote to
 ,chancellor ,livingston1 then minister 
for foreign affairs1 and ,robert        
,morris1 minister of finance1 and       
proposed a method for getting over the  
difficulty at once1 which was by adding 
a continental legislature which should  
be empowered to make laws for the whole 
union instead of recommending them4 ,so 
the method proposed met with their      
future probation4  ,i held myself in    
reserve to take a step up whenever a    
direct occasion occurred4  ,in a        
conversation afterward with ,gov4       
,clinton1 of ,new ,york1 now            
vice-president1 it was judged that for  
the purpose of my going fully into the  

subject1 and to prevent any             
misconstruction of my motive or object1 
it would be best that ,i received       
nothing from congress1 but to leave it  
to the states individually to make the  
what acknowledgement they pleased4 ,the 
,state of ,new ,york presented me with a
 farm which since my return to ,america1
 ,i have found it necessary to sell1 and
 the ,state of ,pennsylvania voted me   
,l#ejj of their currency1 but none of   
the states to the east of ,new ,york1 or
 the south of ,pennsylvania1 have made  
me the least acknowledgment4  ,they had 
received benefits from me which they    
accepted1 and there the matter ended4   
,this story will not tell well in       
history4  ,all the civilized world knows
 ,i have been of great service to the   
,united ,states1 and have generously    
given away that which would easily have 
made me a fortune4  ,i much question if 
an instance is to be found in ancient or
 modern times of a man who had no       
personal interest in the case to take up

 that of the establishment of a         
representative government and who sought
 neither place nor office after it was  
established2 that pursued the same      
undeviating principles that ,i had for  
more than thirty years1 and that in     
spite of dangers1 difficulties1 and     
inconveniences of which ,i have had my  
share4--,thomas ,paine   ,an old man in 
,pennsylvania told me once that his     
father hired a old revolutionary soldier
 by the name of ,thomas ,martin to work 
for him4 ,martin was then quite an old  
man2 and there was an old ,presbyterian 
preacher used to come there1 by the name
 of ,crawford1 and he sat down by the   
fire and he got to talking one night1   
among other things about ,thomas        
,paine--what a wretched1 infamous dog he
 was2 and while he was in the midst of  
this conversation the old soldier rose  
from the fireplace1 and he walked over  
to the preacher1 and he said to him ,did
 you ever see ,thomas ,paine8  ,no4     
,well1 he says1 ,i have2 ,i saw him at  

,valley ,forge4  ,i heard read at the   
head of every regiment and company the  
letters of ,thomas ,paine4  ,i heard    
them read the ',crisis1' and ,i saw     
,thomas ,paine writing on the head of a 
drum1 sitting at the bivouac fire1 those
 simple words that inspired every       
patriot's bosom1 and ,i want to tell you
 ,mr4 ,preacher1 that ,thomas ,paine did
 more for liberty than any priest that  
ever lived in this world4  ,and yet they
 say he was afraid to die6  ,afraid of  
what8  ,is there any ,god in heaven that
 hates a patriot8  ,if there is ,thomas 
,paine ought to be afraid to die4  ,is  
there any ,god that would damn a man for
 helping to free three millions of      
people8  ,if ,thomas ,paine was in hell 
tonight1 and could get ,god's attention 
long enough to point him to the old     
banner of the stars floating over       
,america1 ,god would have to let him    
out4  ,what would he be afraid of8  ,had
 he ever burned anybody8  ,no4 ,had he  
ever put anybody in the inquisition8    

,no4  ,ever put the thumb-screw on      
anybody8  ,no4  ,ever put anybody in    
prison so that some poor wife and mother
 would come and hold her little babe up 
at the grated window that the man bound 
to the floor might get one glimpse of   
his blue-eyed babe8 ,did he ever do     
that8  ,did he ever light a fagot8  ,did
 he ever tear human flesh8  ,why1 what  
had he to be afraid of8  ,he had helped 
to make the world free4  ,he had helped 
create the only republic then on the    
earth4 ,what was he afraid of8  ,was    
,god a tory8  ,it won't do4  ,one would 
think from the persistence with which   
the orthodox have charged for the last  
seventy years that ,thomas ,paine       
recanted1 that there must be some       
evidence of some kind to support these  
charges4 ,even with my ideas of the     
average honor of the believers in       
superstition1 the average truthfulness  
of the disciples of fear1 ,i did not    
believe that all those infamies rested  
solely upon poorly-attested falsehoods4 

,i had charity enough to suppose that   
something had been said or done by      
,thomas ,paine capable of being tortured
 into a foundation of all these         
calumnies4  ,what crime had ,thomas     
,paine committed that he should have    
feared to die8  ,the only answer you can
 give is that he denied the inspiration 
of the scriptures4  ,if that is crime1  
the civilized world is filled with      
criminals4  ,the pioneers of human      
thought1 the intellectual leaders of    
this world1 the foremost men in every   
science1 the kings of literature and    
art1 those who stand in the front of    
investigation1 the men who are          
civilizing and elevating and refining   
mankind1 are all unbelievers in the     
ignorant dogma of inspiration4  ,why    
should we think ,thomas ,paine was      
afraid to die8 and why should the       
,american people malign the memory of   
that great man8 ,he was the first to    
advocate the separation from the mother 
country4  ,he was the first to write    

these words3  ,the ,united ,states of   
,america4  ,think of maligning that man6
  ,he was the first to lift his voice   
against human slavery1 and while        
hundreds and thousands of ministers all 
over the ,united ,states not only       
believed in slavery1 but bought and sold
 women and babes in the name of ,jesus  
,christ1 this infidel1 this wretch who  
is now burning in the flames of hell1   
lifted his voice against human slavery  
and said3 ,it is robbery1 and a         
slaveholder is a thief2 the whipper of  
women is a barbarian2 the seller of a   
child is a savage4 ,no wonder that the  
thieving hypocrite of his day hated him6
  ,i have no love for any man who ever  
pretended to own a human being4  ,i have
 no love for a man that would sell a    
babe from the mother's throbbing1       
heaving1 agonized breast4 ,i have no    
respect for a man who considered a lash 
on the naked back as a legal tender for 
labor performed4  ,so write it down1    
,thomas ,paine was the first great      

abolitionist of ,america4  ,now let me  
tell you another thing4  ,he was the    
first man to raise his voice for the    
abolition of the death penalty in the   
,french convention4 ,what more did he   
do8  ,he was the first to suggest a     
federal constitution for the ,united    
,states4  ,he saw that the old articles 
of confederation were nothing2 that they
 were ropes of water and chains of mist1
 and he said1 ,we want a federal        
constitution so that when you pass a law
 raising #e percent you can make the    
states pay it4  ,let us give him his    
due4  ,what were all these preachers    
doing at that time8  ,he hated          
superstition2 he loved the truth4  ,he  
hated tyranny2 he loved liberty4  ,he   
was the friend of the human race4  ,he  
lived a brave and thoughtful life4  ,he 
was a good and true and generous man1   
and he died as he lived4  ,like a great 
and peaceful river with green and shaded
 banks1 without a murmur1 without a     
ripple1 he flowed into the waveless     

ocean of eternal peace4  ,i love him2 ,i
 love every man who gave me1 or helped  
to give me the liberty ,i enjoy tonight2
 ,i love every man who helped me put our
 flag in heaven4  ,i love every man who 
has lifted his voice in any age for     
liberty1 for a chainless body and a     
fetterless brain4  ,i love everyman who 
has given to every other human being    
every right that he claimed for himself4
  ,i love every man who has thought more
 of principle than he has of position4  
,i love the men who have trampled crowns
 beneath their feet that they might do  
something for mankind1 and for that     
reason ,i love ,thomas ,paine4  ,i thank
 you all1 ladies and gentlemen1 every   
one--every one1 for the attention you   
have given me this evening4             
,ingersoll's ,lecture on ,liberty of    
,man1 ,woman and ,child    ,ladies and  
,gentlemen3  ,in my judgment slavery is 
the child of ignorance4 ,liberty is born
 of intelligence4  ,only a few years ago
 there was a great awakening in the     

human mind4  ,men began to inquire1 ,by 
what right does a crowned robber make me
 work for him8  ,the man who asked this 
question was called a traitor4 ,others  
said1 by what right does a robed priest 
rob me8  ,that man was called an        
infidel4  ,and whenever he asked a      
question of that kind1 the clergy       
protested4  ,when they found that the   
earth was round1 the clergy protested2  
when they found that the stars were not 
made out of the scraps that were left   
over on the sixth day of creation1 but  
were really great1 shining1 wheeling    
worlds1 the clergy protested and said3  
,when is this spirit of investigation to
 stop8  ,they said then1 and they say   
now1 that it is dangerous for the mind  
of man to be free4  ,i deny it4  ,out on
 the intellectual sea there is room  for
 every sail4 ,in the intellectual air1  
there is space enough for every wing4   
,and the man who does not do his own    
thinking is a slave1 and does not do his
 duty to his fellow men4  ,for one1 ,i  

expect to do my own thinking4 ,and ,i   
will take my own oath this minute that  
,i will express what thoughts ,i have1  
honestly and sincerely4  ,i am the slave
 of no man and of no organization4  ,i  
stand under the blue sky and the stars1 
under the infinite flag of nature1 the  
peer of every human being4  ,standing as
 ,i do in the presence of the ,unknown1 
,i have the same right to guess as      
though ,i had been through five         
theological seminary4  ,i have as much  
interest in the great absorbing         
questions of origin and destiny as      
though ,i had ,d4,d41 ,l4 ,l4 ,d4 at the
 end of my name4  ,all ,i claim1 all ,i 
plead is simple liberty of thought4     
,that is all4  ,i do not pretend to tell
 what is true and all the truth4  ,i do 
not claim that ,i have floated level    
with the heights of thought1 or that ,i 
have descended to the depths of things2 
,i simply claim that what idea ,i have  
,i have a right to express1 and any man 
that denies it to me is an intellectual 

thief and robber4 ,that is all4  ,i say1
 take those chains off from the human   
soul2 ,i say1 break these orthodox      
fetters1 and if there are wings to the  
spirit let them be spread4  ,that is all
 ,i say4 ,and ,i ask you if ,i have not 
the same right to think that any other  
human has8 ,if ,i have no right to      
think1 why have ,i such a thing as a    
thinker4 ,why have ,i a brain8  ,and if 
,i have no right to think1 who has8 ,if 
,i have lost my right1 ,mr4 ,smith1     
where did you find yours8  ,if ,i have  
no right1 have three or four men or #cjj
 or #djj1 who get together and sign a   
card and build a house and put a steeple
 on it with a bell in it--have they any 
more right to think than they had       
before8  ,that is the question4  ,and ,i
 am sick of the whip and lash in the    
region of mind and intellect4  ,and ,i  
say to these men1 ,let us alone4  ,do   
your own thinking2 express your own     
thoughts4  ,and ,i want to say tonight  
that ,i claim no right that ,i am not   

willing to give to every other human    
being beneath the stars--none whatever4 
,and ,i will fight tonight for the right
 of those who disagree with me to       
express their thoughts just as soon as  
,i will fight for my own right to       
express mine4  ,in the good old times1  
our fathers had an idea that they could 
make people believe to suit them4  ,our 
ancestors in the ages that are gone     
really believed that by force you could 
convince a man4 ,you cannot change the  
conclusion of the brain by force1 but ,i
 will tell you what you can do by force1
 and what you have done by force4  ,you 
can make hypocrites by the million4     
,you can make a man say that he has     
changed his mind1 but he remains of the 
same opinion still4  ,put fetters all   
over him2 crush his feet in iron boots2 
lash him to the stock2 burn him if you  
please1 but his ashes are of the same   
opinion still4  ,i say our fathers1 in  
the good old times--and the best thing  
,i can say about them is1 they are      

dead--they had an idea they could force 
men to think their way1 and do you know 
that idea is still prevalent even in    
this country8 ,do you know they think   
they can make a man think their way if  
they say1 ,we will not trade with that  
man2 we won't vote for that man2 we     
won't hire him1 if he is a lawyer2 we   
will die before we take his medicine1 if
 he is a doctor1 we won't invite him2 we
 will socially ostracize him2 he must   
come to our church2 he must think our   
way or he is not a gentleman4  ,there is
 much of that even in this blessed      
country--not excepting the city of      
,albany itself4  ,now in the old times  
of which ,i have spoken1 they said1 ,we 
can make all men think alike4  ,all the 
mechanical ingenuity of this earth      
cannot make two clocks run alike1 and   
how are you going to make millions of   
people of different quantities and      
qualities and amount of brain1 clad in  
this living robe of passionate          
flesh--how are you going to make        

millions of them think alike8 ,if the   
infinite ,god1 if there is one1 who made
 us1 wished us to think alike1 why did  
he give a spoonful of brains to one man1
 and a bushel to another8  ,why is it   
that we have all degrees of humanity1   
from the idiot to the genius1 if it was 
intended that all should think alike8   
,i say our fathers concluded they would 
do this by force1 and ,i used to read in
 books how they persecuted mankind1 and 
do you know ,i never appreciated it2 ,i 
did not4  ,i read it1 but it did not    
burn itself1 as it were1 into my very   
soul what infamies had been committed in
 the name of religion1 and ,i never     
fully appreciated it until a little     
while ago ,i saw the iron arguments our 
fathers used to use4  ,i tell you the   
reason we are through that1 is because  
we have better brains than our fathers  
had4  ,since that day we have become    
intellectually developed1 and there is  
more real brain and real good sense in  
the world today than in any other period

 of its history1 and that is the reason 
we have more liberty1 that is the reason
 we have more kindness4  ,but ,i say ,i 
saw these iron arguments our fathers    
used to use4 ,i saw here the            
thumb-screw--two little innocent looking
 pieces of iron1 armed on the inner     
surface with protuberances to prevent   
their slipping--and when some man denied
 the efficacy of baptism1 or maybe said1
 ,i do not believe that the whale ever  
swallowed a man to keep him from        
drowning1 then they put these pieces of 
iron upon his thumb1 and there was a    
screw at each end1 and then1 in the name
 of love and forgiveness1 they began    
screwing these pieces of iron together4 
,a great many men1 when they commenced1 
would say1 ,i recant4  ,i expect ,i     
would have been one of them4   ,i would 
have said1 ,now you just stop that2 ,i  
will admit anything on earth that you   
want4 ,i will admit there is one god or 
a million1 one hell or a billion2 suit  
yourselves1 but stop that4  ,but ,i want

 to say1 the thumbscrew having got out  
of the way1 ,i am going to have my say4 
,there was now and then some man who    
wouldn't turn ,judas ,iscariot to his   
own soul2 there was now and then a man  
willing to die for his conviction1 and  
if it were not for such men we would be 
savages tonight4 ,had it not been for a 
few brave and heroic souls in every age1
 we would have been naked savages this  
moment1 with pictures of wild beasts    
tattooed upon our naked breasts1 dancing
 around a dried snake fetish2 and ,i    
tonight thank every good and noble man  
who stood up in the face of opposition1 
and hatred1 and death for what he       
believed to be right4  ,and then they   
screwed this thumbscrew down as far as  
they could and threw him into some      
dungeon1 where1 in throbbing misery and 
the darkness of night1 he dreams of the 
damned2 but that was done in the name of
 universal love4  ,i saw there at the   
same time what they called the collar of
 torture4 ,imagine a circle of iron1 and

 on the inside of that more than a      
hundred points as sharp as needles4     
,this being fastened upon the throat1   
the sufferer could not sit down1 he     
could not walk1 he could not stir       
without being punctured by those        
needles1 and in a little while the      
throat would begin to swell1 and finally
 suffocation would end the agonies of   
that man1 when may be the only crime he 
had committed was to say1 with tears    
upon his sublime cheeks1 ,i do not      
believe that ,god1 the father of us all1
 will damn to eternal punishment any of 
the children of men4  ,think of it6     
,and ,i saw there at the same time      
another instrument1 called the          
scavenger's daughter1 which resembles a 
pair of shears1 with handles where      
handles ought to be1 but at the points  
as well4  ,and just above the pivot that
 fastens the blades1 a circle of iron   
through which the hands would be placed1
 into the lower circles the feet1 and   
into the center circle the head would be

 pushed1 and in that position he would  
be thrown prone upon the earth1 and kept
 there until the strain upon the muscles
 produced such agony that insanity and  
death would end his pain4  ,and that was
 done in the name of ,whosoever smiteth 
thee upon one cheek1 turn him the other 
also4 ,think of it6  ,and ,i saw also   
the rack1 with the windlass and chains1 
upon which the sufferer was laid4       
,about his ankles were fastened chains1 
and about his wrists also1 and then     
priests began turning this windlass1 and
 they kept turning until the ankles1 the
 shoulders and the wrists were all      
dislocated1 and the sufferer was wet    
with the sweat of agony4  ,and they had 
standing by a physician to feel his     
pulse4  ,what for8  ,to save his life8  
,yes4  ,what for8  ,in mercy8  ,no4     
,simply that they might preserve his    
life1 that they might rack him once     
again4  ,and this was done--recollect   
it--it was done in the name of          
civilization1 it was done in the name of

 law and order1 it was done in the name 
of morality1 it was done in the name of 
religion1 it was done in the name of    
,god4  ,sometimes when ,i get to reading
 about it1 and when ,i get to thinking  
about it1 it seems to me that ,i have   
suffered all these horrors myself1 as   
though ,i had stood upon the shore of   
exile and gazed with a tear-filled eye  
toward home and native land2 as though  
my nails had been torn from my hands1   
and into my throat the sharp needles had
 been thrust2 as though my feet had been
 crushed in iron boots2 as though ,i had
 been chained in the cells of the       
,inquisition1 and had watched and waited
 in the interminable darkness to hear   
the words of release2 as though ,i had  
been taken from my fireside1 from my    
wife and children1 and taken to the     
public square1 chained1 and fagots had  
been piled around me2 as though the     
flames had played around my limbs1 and  
scorched the sight from my eyes2 as     
though my ashes had been scattered to   

the four winds by the hands of hatred2  
as though ,i had stood upon the scaffold
 and felt the glittering ax fall upon   
me4  ,and while ,i feel and see all     
this1 ,i swear that while ,i live ,i    
will do what little ,i can to augment   
the liberty of man1 woman and child4    
,my friends1 it is all a question of    
sense2 it is all a question of honesty4 
,if there is a man in this house who is 
not willing to give to everybody else   
what he claims for himself he is just so
 much nearer to the barbarian than ,i   
am4  ,it is a simple question of        
honesty2 and the man who is not willing 
to give to every other human being the  
same intellectual rights he claims      
himself is a rascal1 and you know it4   
,it is a simple question1 ,i say1 of    
intellectual development and of honesty4
 ,and ,i want to say it now1 so you will
 see it4  ,you show me the narrow1      
contracted man2 you show me the man who 
claims everything for himself and leaves
 nothing for others1 and that man has   

got a distorted and deformed brain4     
,that is the matter with him4  ,he has  
no sense2 not a bit4  ,let me show you4 
,a little while ago ,i saw models of    
everything man has made for his use and 
for his convenience4  ,i saw all the    
models of all the watercraft1 from the  
dug-out1 in which floated a naked       
savage--one of our ancestors--a naked   
savage1 with teeth two inches long1 with
 a spoonful of brains in the back of his
 head2 ,i saw the watercraft of the     
world1 from that dug-out up to a        
man-of-war that carries a hundred guns  
and miles of canvas2 from that dug-out  
to the steamship that turns its brave   
prow from the port of ,new ,york through
 #c1jjj miles of billows1 with a compass
 like a conscience1 that does not miss  
throb or beat of its mighty iron heart  
from one shore to the other4  ,i saw at 
the same time the weapons that man has  
made1 from a rude club1 such as was     
grasped by that savage when he crawled  
from his den1 from his hole in the      

ground1 and hunted a snake for his      
dinner--from that club to the boomerang1
 to the sword1 to the cross-bow1 to the 
blunderbuss1 to the flint-lock1 to the  
cap-lock1 to the needle-gun1 up to the  
cannon cast by ,krupp1 capable of       
hurling a ball of #b1jjj pounds through 
eighteen inches of solid steel4  ,i saw1
 too1 the armor from the turtle-shell   
that our ancestor lashed upon his skin  
when he went out to fight for his       
country1 to the skin of the porcupine1  
with the quills all bristling1 which he 
pulled over his orthodox head to defend 
himself from his enemies--,i mean1 of   
course1 the orthodox head of that       
day--up to the shirts of mail that were 
worn in the middle ages1 capable of     
resisting the edge of the sword and the 
point of the spear2 up to the iron-clad1
 to the monitor completely clad in      
steel1 capable only a few years ago of  
defying the navies of the globe4  ,i saw
 at the same time the musical           
instruments1 from the tomtom1 which is a

 hoop with a couple of strings of       
rawhide drawn across it--from that      
tomtom up to the instruments we have    
today1 which make the common air blossom
 with melody4  ,i saw1 too1 the         
paintings1 from the daub of yellow mud  
up to the pieces which adorn the        
galleries of the world4 ,and the        
sculpture1 from the rude gods1 with six 
legs and a half dozen arms1 and the rows
 of ears1 up to the sculpture of now1   
wherein the marble is clad with such    
loveliness that it seems almost a       
sacrilege to touch it2 and in addition  
,i saw there ideas of books--books      
written upon skins of wild beasts1 books
 written upon shoulder-blades of sheep2 
books written upon leaves1 upon bark1 up
 to the splendid volumes that adorn the 
libraries of our time4  ,when ,i think  
of libraries1 ,i think of the remark of 
,plato1 ,the house that has a library in
 it has a soul4  ,i saw there all these 
things1 and also the implements of      
agriculture1 from a crooked stick up to 

the plow which makes it possible for a  
man to cultivate the soil without being 
an ignoramus4  ,i saw at the same time a
 row of skulls1 from the lowest skull   
that has ever been found2 skulls from   
the central portion of ,africa1 skulls  
from the bushmen of ,australia1 up to   
the best skulls of the last generation4 
,and ,i notice that there was the same  
difference between those skulls that    
there is between the products of those  
skulls4  ,and ,i said to myself3  ,it is
 all a question of intellectual         
development4  ,it is a question of brain
 and sinew4  ,i noticed that there was  
the same difference between those skulls
 that there was between that dug-out1   
and that man-of-war and that steamship4 
,that skull was low4  ,it had not a     
forehead a quarter of an inch high4     
,but shortly after1 the skulls became   
doming and crowning1 and getting higher 
and grander4 ,that skull was a den in   
which crawled the base and meaner       
instincts of mankind1 and this skull was

 a temple in which dwelt joy1 liberty   
and love4  ,so said ,i3  ,this is all a 
question of brain1 and anything that    
tends to develop1 intellectually1       
mankind1 is the gospel we want4  ,now ,i
 want to be honest with you4  ,honor    
bright6  ,nothing like it in the world6 
,no matter what ,i believe4  ,now1 let  
us be honest4 ,suppose a king1 if there 
was a king at the time this gentleman   
floated in the dugout and charmed his   
ears with the music of the tomtom2      
suppose the king at that time1 if there 
was one1 and the priest1 if there was   
one1 had said3  ,that dug-out is the    
best boat that ever can be built4  ,the 
pattern of that came from on high1 and  
any man who says he can improve it1 by  
putting a log or a stick in the bottom  
of it1 with a rag on the end1 is an     
infidel4  ,honor bright1 what1 in your  
judgment1 would have been the effect    
upon the circumnavigation of the globe8 
,that is the question4  ,suppose the    
king1 if there was one1 and the priest1 

if there was one--and ,i presume there  
was1 because it was a very ignorant     
age--suppose they had said3  ,that      
tomtom is the most miraculous instrument
 of music that any man can conceive of2 
that is the kind of music they have in  
heaven4  ,an angel1 sitting upon the    
golden edge of a fleecy cloud1 playing  
upon that tomtom became so enraptured1  
so entranced with her own music1 that   
she dropped it1 and that is how we got  
it--and any man that says that it can be
 improved by putting a back and front to
 it1 and four strings and a bridge on   
it1 and getting some horsehair and      
resin1 is no better than one of the weak
 and unregenerate4  ,i ask you what     
effect would that have had upon music8  
,i ask you1 honor bright1 if that course
 had been pursued1 would the human ears 
ever have been enriched with the divine 
symphonies of ,beethoven8  ,that is the 
question4  ,and suppose the king1 if    
there was one1 and the priest had said3 
,that crooked stick is the best plow we 

can ever have invented4 ,the pattern of 
that plow was given to a pious farmer in
 a holy dream1 and that twisted straw is
 the ne plus ultra of all twisted       
things2 and any man who says he can make
 an improvement1 we will twist him4     
,honor bright1 what1 in your judgment1  
would have been the effect upon the     
agricultural world8  ,now1 you see1 the 
people said1 ,we want better weapons    
with which to kill our enemies2 so the  
people said1 we want better plows2  the 
people said1 we want better music2  the 
people said1 we want better paintings2  
and they said1 whoever will give us     
better plows1 and better arms1 and      
better paintings1 and better music1 we  
will give him honor2 we will crown him  
with glory2 we will robe him in the     
garments of wealth2 and every incentive 
has been held out to every human being  
to improve something in every direction4
  ,and that is the reason the club is a 
cannon2 that the reason the dugout is a 
steamship2 that the reason the daub is a

 painting1 and that is the reason that  
that piece of stone has finally become a
 glorified statue4  ,now1 then1 this    
fellow in the dug-out had a religion4   
,that fellow was orthodox4  ,he had no  
doubt2 he was settled in his mind4  ,he 
did not wish to be insulted4  ,he wanted
 the bark of his soul to lie at the     
wharf of orthodoxy1 and rot in the sun4 
,he wanted to hear the sails of old     
opinions flap against the mast of old   
creeds4  ,he wanted to see the joints in
 the sides open and gape1 as though     
thirsty for water1 and he said3  ,now   
don't disturb my opinions2 you'll get my
 mind unsettled2 ,i have got it all made
 up1 and ,i don't want to hear any      
infidelity1 either4 ,as far as ,i am    
concerned1 ,i want to be out on the high
 sea2 ,i ,want to take my chance with   
wind and wave and star2 and ,i had      
rather go down in the glory and grandeur
 of the storm than to rot at any        
orthodox wharf4  ,of course ,i mean by  
orthodoxy all that don't agree with my  

doxy4 ,do you understand8  ,now this man
 had a religion4  ,that fellow believed 
in hell4  ,yes1 sir2 and he thought he  
would be happier in heaven if he could  
just lean over and see certain people   
that he disliked1 broiled4 ,that fellow 
has had a great many intellectual       
descendents4  ,it is an unhappy fact in 
nature that the ignorant multiply much  
faster than the intellectual4  ,this    
fellow believed in the devil1 and his   
devil had a cloven hoof4  7,many people 
think ,i have the same kind of footing47
  ,he had a long tail1 armed with a     
fiery dart1 and he breathed brimstone4  
,and do you know there has not been a   
patentable improvement made on that     
devil for #d1jjj years8  ,that fellow   
believed that ,god was a tyrant4  ,that 
fellow believed that the earth was flat4
  ,that fellow believed1 as ,i told you1
 in a literal burning1 seething lake of 
fire and brimstone4  ,that is what he   
believed in4  ,that fellow1 too1 had his
 idea of politics1 and his idea was1    

,might makes right4  ,and it will take  
thousands of years before the world will
 believingly say1 ,right makes might4   
,now all ,i ask is the same privilege of
 improving on that gentleman's theology 
as upon his musical instrument2 the same
 right to improve upon his politics as  
upon his dug-out4 ,that is all4  ,i ask 
for the human soul the same liberty in  
every direction4  ,and that is all4     
,that is the only crime that ,i have    
committed4  ,that is all4  ,i say1 let  
us have a chance4 ,let us think1 and let
 each one express his thoughts4  ,let us
 become investigators1 not followers2   
not cringers and crawlers4  ,if there is
 in heaven an infinite being1 he never  
will be satisfied with the worship of   
cowards and hypocrites4  ,honest        
unbelief will be a perfume in heaven    
when hypocrisy1 no matter however       
religious it may be outwardly1 will be a
 stench4  ,that is my doctrine4  ,that  
is all there is to it2 give every other 
human being all the chance you claim for

 yourself4  ,to keep your mind open to  
the voices of nature1 to new ideas1 to  
new thoughts1 and to improve upon your  
doctrine whenever you can2 that is my   
doctrine4  ,do you know we are improving
 all the time8  ,do you know that the   
most orthodox people in this town today1
 three hundred years ago would have been
 burned for heresy8  ,do you know some  
ministers who denounce me would have    
been in the ,inquisition themselves two 
hundred years ago8 ,do you know where   
once burned and blazed the bivouac fires
 of the army of progress1 the altars of 
the church glow today8  ,do you know    
that the church today occupies about the
 same ground that unbelievers did one   
hundred years ago8  ,do you know that   
while they have followed this army of   
progress1 protesting and denouncing1    
they have had to keep within protesting 
and denouncing distance1 but they have  
followed it8 ,they have been the men1   
let me say1 in the valley2 the men in   
swamps1 shouting to and cursing the     

pioneers on the hills2 the men upon     
whose forehead was the light of the     
coming dawn1 the coming day--but they   
have advanced4 ,in spite of themselves1 
they have advanced6  ,if they had not1  
,i would not speak here to night4  ,if  
they had not1 not a solitary one of you 
could have expressed your real and      
honest thought4  ,but we are advancing1 
and we are beginning to hold all kinds  
of slavery in utter contempt2 do you    
know that8  ,and we are beginning to    
question wealth and power2 we are       
questioning all creeds and all dogmas2  
and we are not bowing down1 as we used  
to1 to a man simply because he is in the
 robe of a clergyman1 and we are not    
bowing down to a man now simply because 
he is a king4  ,no6  ,we are not bowing 
down simply because he is rich4  ,we    
used to worship the golden calves1 but  
we do not now4  ,the worst you can say  
of an ,american1 is1 he worships the    
gold of the calf1 not the calf2 and even
 the calves are beginning to see this   

distinction4  ,it no longer fills the   
ambition of a man to be emperor or king4
 ,the last ,napoleon was not satisfied  
with being ,emperor of the ,french2 he  
was not satisfied with having a circlet 
of gold about his head2 he wanted some  
evidence that he had something within   
his head1 so he wrote the life of       
,julius ,caesar1 that he might become a 
member of the ,french ,academy4         
,compare1 for instance1 in the ,german  
,empire1 ,king ,william and ,bismarck4  
,king ,william is the one anointed of   
the most high1 as they claim--the one   
upon whose head has been poured the     
divine petroleum of authority4 ,compare 
him with ,bismarck1 who towers1 an      
intellectual ,colossus1 above this man4 
,go into ,england and compare ,george   
,eliot with ,queen ,victoria--,queen    
,victoria1 clothed in the garments given
 to her by blind fortune and by chance4 
,george ,elliot1 robed in garments of   
glory1 woven in the loom of her own     
genius4  ,which does the world pay      

respect to8  ,i tell you we are         
advancing6 ,the pulpit does not do all  
the thinking2 the pews do it2 nearly all
 of it4  ,the world is advancing1 and we
 question the authority of those men who
 simply say it is so4  ,down upon your  
knees and admit it6  ,when ,i think of  
how much this world has suffered1 ,i am 
amazed4  ,when ,i think of how long our 
fathers were slaves1 ,i am amazed4 ,why1
 just think of it6  ,this world has only
 been fit for a gentleman to live in    
fifty years4  ,no1 it has not4  ,it was 
not until the year #ahjh that ,great    
,britain abolished the slave trade4 ,up 
to that time her judge1 sitting upon the
 bench in the name of justice2 her      
priests1 occupying the pulpit in the    
name of universal love1 owned stock in  
slave ships and luxuriated in the       
profits of piracy and murder4  ,it was  
not until the year #ahjh that the       
,united ,states abolished the slave     
trade between this and other countries1 
but preserved it as between the ,states4

  ,it was not until the #bhth day of    
,august1 #ahcc1 that ,great ,britain    
abolished human slavery in her colonies2
 and it was not until the #ast day of   
,january1 #ahfc1 that ,abraham ,lincoln 
wiped from our flag the stigma of       
disgrace4 ,abraham ,lincoln--in my      
judgment1 the grandest man ever         
president of the ,united ,states1 and   
upon whose monument these words could   
truthfully be written3  ,here lies the  
only man in the history of the world    
who1 having been clothed with almost    
absolute power1 never abused it except  
on the side of mercy4  ,think1 ,i say1  
how long we clung to the institution of 
human slavery2 how long lashes upon the 
naked back were the legal tender for    
labor performed6  ,think of it6 when the
 pulpit of this country deliberately and
 willfully changed the ,cross of ,christ
 into the whipping-post4 ,think of it6  
,and tell me then if ,i am right when ,i
 say this world has only been fit for a 
gentleman to live in fifty years4  ,i   

hate with every drop of my blood every  
form of tyranny4  ,i hate every form of 
slavery4  ,i hate dictation--,i want    
something like liberty2 and what do ,i  
mean by that8  ,the right to do anything
 that does not interfere with the       
happiness of another1 physically4       
,liberty of thought includes the right  
to think right and the right to think   
wrong4  ,why8 ,because that is the means
 by which we arrive at truth2 for if we 
knew the truth before1 we needn't think4
  ,those men who mistake their ignorance
 for facts1 never do think4  ,you may   
say to me1 ,how far is it across this   
room8  ,i say #ajj feet4  ,suppose it is
 #aje2 have ,i committed any crime8 ,i  
made the best guess ,i could4 ,you ask  
me about any thing2 ,i examine it       
honestly1 and when ,i get through1 what 
should ,i tell you--what ,i think or    
what you think8  ,what should ,i do8    
,there is a book put in my hands4  ,they
 say ,that is the ,koran2 that was      
written by inspiration2 read it4  ,i    

read it4  ,chapter ,,vii1 entitled ,the 
,cow1 chapter ,,ix1 entitled ,the ,bee1 
and so on4  ,i read it4  ,when ,i get   
through with it1 suppose ,i think in my 
heart and in my brain1 ,i don't believe 
a word of it2  and you ask me1 ,what do 
you think of it8 ,now1 admitting that ,i
 live in ,turkey1 and have a chance to  
get an office1 what should ,i say8      
,now1 honor bright1 should ,i just make 
a clean breast of it and say ,upon my   
honor1 ,i don't believe it8  ,then is it
 right for you to say ,that fellow will 
steal--that fellow is a dangerous       
man--he is a robber8  ,now1 suppose ,i  
read the book called the bible 7and ,i  
read it1 honor bright71 and when ,i get 
through with it ,i make up my mind that 
book was written by men2 and along comes
 the preacher of my church1 and he says 
,did you read that book8  ,i did4 ,do   
you think it is divinely inspired8  ,i  
say to myself1 ,now if ,i say it is not1
 they will never send me to ,congress   
from this district on earth4  ,now1     

honor bright1 what ought ,i to do8      
,ought ,i to say1 ,i have read it4  ,i  
have been honest about it2 don't believe
 it8 ,now1 ought ,i to say that1 if that
 is a real transcript of my mind1 or    
ought ,i to commence hemming and hawing 
and pretend that ,i do believe it1 and  
go away with the respect of that man1   
hating myself for a cringing coward8    
,now which8  ,for my part ,i would      
rather a man would tell me what he      
honestly thinks1 and he will preserve   
his manhood4  ,i had rather be a manly  
unbeliever than an unmanly believer4  ,i
 think ,i will stand higher at the      
judgment day1 if there is one1 and stand
 with as good a chance to get my case   
dismissed without costs as a man who    
sneaks through life pretending he       
believes what he does not4  ,i tell you 
one thing2 there is going to be one free
 fellow in this world4  ,i am going to  
say my say1 ,i tell you4  ,i am going to
 do it kindly1 ,i am going to do it     
distinctly1 but ,i am going to do it4   

,now1 if men have been slaves1 what     
about women8  ,women have been the      
slaves of slaves2 and that's a pretty   
hard position to occupy for life4 ,they 
have been the slaves of slaves2 and in  
my judgment it took millions of ages for
 women to come from the condition of    
abject slavery up to the institution of 
marriage4 ,let me say right here1       
tonight1 ,i regard marriage as the      
holiest institution among men4  ,without
 the fireside there is no human         
advancement2 without the family         
relation1 there is no life worth living4
  ,every good government is made up of  
good families4  ,the unit of government 
is family1 and anything that tends to   
destroy the family is perfectly devilish
 and infamous4  ,i believe in marriage1 
and ,i hold in utter contempt the       
opinions of long-haired men and         
short-haired women who denounce the     
institution of marriage4  ,let me say   
right here--and ,i have thought a good  
deal about it--let me say right here1   

the grandest ambition that any man can  
possibly have is to so live and so      
improve himself in heart and brain as to
 be worthy of the love of some splendid 
woman2 and the grandest ambition of any 
girl is to make herself worthy of the   
love and adoration of some magnificent  
man4  ,that is my idea1 and there is no 
success in life without it4  ,if you are
 the grand emperor of the world1 you had
 better be the grand emperor of one     
loving and tender heart1 and she the    
grand empress of yours4  ,the man who   
has really won the love of one good     
woman in this world1 ,i do not care if  
he dies in the ditch a beggar1 his life 
has been a success4  ,i say it took     
millions of years to come from the      
condition of abject slavery up to the   
condition of marriage4  ,ladies1 the    
ornaments you bear upon your person     
tonight are but the souvenirs of your   
mothers' bondage4 ,the chains around    
your necks and the bracelets clasped    
upon your wrists by the thrilling hand  

of love1 have been changed by the wand  
of civilization from iron to shining1   
glittering gold4  ,but nearly every     
religion has accounted for the devilment
 in this world by the crime of woman4   
,what a gallant thing that is6  ,and if 
it is true1 ,i had rather live with the 
woman ,i love in a world full of        
trouble1 than to live in heaven with    
nobody but men4  ,i say that nearly     
every religion has accounted for all the
 trouble in this world by the crime of  
woman4  ,i read in a book--and ,i will  
say now that ,i cannot give the exact   
language2 my memory does not retain the 
words--but ,i can give the substance4   
,i read in a book that the supreme being
 concluded to make a world and one man2 
that he took some nothing and made a    
world and one man1 and put this man in a
 garden3  but he noticed that he got    
lonesome2 he wandered around as if he   
was waiting for a train2 there was      
nothing to interest him2 no news2 no    
papers2 no politics2 no policy2 and as  

the devil had not yet made his          
appearance1 there was no chance for     
reconciliation2 not even for civil      
service reform4  ,well1 he would wander 
about this garden in this condition     
until finally the supreme being made up 
his mind to make him a companion2 and   
having used up all the nothing he       
originally took in making the world and 
one man1 he had to take a part of the   
man to start a woman with1 and so he    
caused a deep sleep to fall upon this   
man--now1 understand me4 ,i didn't say  
this story is true4 ,after the sleep    
fell upon this man1 he took a rib1 or1  
as the ,french would call it1 a cutlet  
out of this man1 and from that he made a
 woman2 and considering the raw         
material1 ,i look upon it as the most   
successful job ever performed4 ,well1   
after ,he got the woman done1 she was   
brought to the man2 not to see how she  
liked him1 but to see how he liked her4 
,he liked her1 and they started         
housekeeping2 and they were told of     

certain things they might do1 and one   
thing they could not do--and of course  
they did it4 ,i would have done it in   
fifteen minutes1 and ,i know it4  ,there
 wouldn't have been an apple on that    
tree half an hour from date1 and the    
limbs could have been full of clubs4    
,and then they were turned out of the   
park1 and an extra force was put on to  
keep them from getting back4 ,then      
devilment commenced4  ,the mumps1 and   
the measles1 and the whooping cough and 
the scarlet fever started in their race 
for man1 and they began to have the     
toothache1 the roses began to have      
thorns1 and snakes began to have        
poisoned teeth1 and people began to     
divide about religion and politics2 and 
the world has been full of trouble from 
that day to this4 ,now1 nearly all of   
the religions of this world account for 
the existence of evil by such a story as
 that4  ,i read in another book what    
appeared to be an account of the same   
transaction4  ,it was written about     

#d1jjj years before the other2 but all  
commentators agree that the one that was
 written last was the original1 and that
 the one that was written first was     
copied from the one that was written    
last2 but ,i would advise you all not to
 allow your creed to be disturbed by a  
little matter of four or five thousand  
years4  ,in this other story the        
,supreme ,brahma made up his mind to    
make the world and man and woman2 and he
 made the world1 and he made the man and
 he made the woman1 and he put them on  
the island of ,ceylon2 and according to 
the account1 it was the most beautiful  
island of which man can conceive4 ,such 
birds1 such songs1 such flowers and such
 verdure6 ,and the branches of the trees
 were so arranged that when the wind    
swept through them every tree was a     
thousand aeolian harps4  ,the ,supreme  
,brahma when he put them there said1    
,let them have a period of courtship1   
for it is my desire and will that true  
love should forever precede marriage4   

,when ,i read that1 it was so much more 
beautiful and lofty than the other1 that
 ,i said to myself1 ,if either one of   
these stories ever turns out to be true1
 ,i hope it will be this one4  ,then    
they had their courtship1 with the      
nightingales singing and the stars      
shining and the flowers blooming1 and   
they fell in love4  ,imagine the        
courtship6  ,no prospective fathers or  
mothers in law2 no prying and gossiping 
neighbors1 nobody to say1 ,young man1   
how do you expect to support her8       
,nothing of that kind4 ,they were       
married by the ,supreme ,brahma1 and he 
said to them3  ,remain here2 you must   
never leave this island4  ,well1 after a
 little while the man--and his name was 
,amend1 and the woman's name was        
,heva--and the man said to ,heva3  ,i   
believe ,i'll look about a little2  and 
he went to the northern extremity of the
 island1 where there was a little1      
narrow neck of land connecting it with  
the mainland2 and the devil1 who is     

always playing pranks with us1 got up a 
mirage1 and when he looked over to the  
mainland1 such hills and dells1 vales   
and dales2 such mountains1 crowned with 
silver2 such cataracts1 clad in robes of
 beauty1 did he see there1 that he went 
back and told ,heva3  ,the country over 
there is a thousand times better than   
this2 let us migrate4  ,she1 like every 
other woman that ever lived1 said3 ,let 
well enough alone2 we have all we want2 
let us stay here4 ,but he said1 ,no1 let
 us go2 so she followed him1 and when   
they came to this narrow neck of land he
 took her on his back like a gentleman  
and carried her over4  ,but the moment  
they got over they heard a crash1 and1  
looking back1 discovered that this      
narrow neck of land had fallen into the 
sea1 with the exception of now and then 
a rock1 and the mirage had disappeared  
and there was naught but rocks and sand2
 and then a voice called out1 cursing   
them4  ,then it was that the man spoke  
up--and ,i have liked him ever since for

 it--,curse me1 but curse not her2 it   
was not her fault1 it was mine4  ,that's
 the kind of man to start a world with4 
,the ,supreme ,brahma said1 ,i will save
 her but not thee4 ,she spoke up out of 
her feelings of love1 out of a heart in 
which there was love enough to make all 
of her daughters rich in holy affection1
 and said1 ,if thou wilt not spare him1 
spare neither me2 ,i do not wish to live
 without him2 ,i love him4 ,then the    
,supreme ,brahma said--and ,i have liked
 him first-rate ever since ,i read      
it--,i will spare you both and watch    
over you4  ,honor bright1 isn't that the
 better story8  ,and from that same book
 ,i want to show you what ideas some of 
these miserable heathen had--the heathen
 we are trying to convert4  ,we send    
missionaries over yonder to convert     
heathen there1 and we send soldiers out 
on the plains to kill heathen there4    
,if we can convert the heathen1 why not 
convert those nearest home8  ,why not   
convert those we can get at8  ,why not  

convert those who have the immense      
advantage of the example of the average 
pioneer8  ,but to show you the men we   
are trying to convert--in this book it  
says3  ,man is strength1 woman is       
beauty2 man is courage1 woman is love4  
,when the one man loves the one woman   
and the one woman loves the one man1 the
 very angels leave heaven and come and  
sit in that house and sing for joy4     
,they are the men we are converting4    
,think of it6  ,i tell you when ,i read 
these things ,i begin to say1 ,love is  
not of any country2 nobility does not   
belong exclusively here2  and through   
all the ages there have been a few great
 and tender souls lifted far above their
 fellows4  ,now1 my friends1 it seems to
 me that the woman is the equal of the  
man4 ,she has all the rights ,i have1   
and one more1 and that is the right to  
be protected4  ,that's my doctrine4     
,you are married2 try and make the woman
 you love happy2 try and make the man   
you love happy4  ,whoever marries simply

 for himself will make a mistake2 but   
whoever loves a woman so well that he   
says ,i will make her happy1 makes no   
mistake2 and so with the woman who says 
,i will make him happy4  ,there is only 
one way to be happy1 and that is to make
 somebody else so1 and you can't be     
happy cross-lots2 you have got to go the
 regular turnpike road4  ,if there is   
any man ,i detest1 it is the man who    
thinks he is the head of the family--the
 man who thinks he is boss4  ,that      
fellow in the dug-out used that word    
boss2  that was one of his favorite     
expressions--that he was boss4  ,imagine
 a young man and a young woman courting1
 walking out in the moonlight1 and the  
nightingale singing a song of pain and  
love1 as though the thorn touched her   
heart--imagine them stopping there in   
the moonlight and starlight and song1   
and saying ,now here1 let's settle who's
 boss6  ,i tell you it is an infamous   
word1 and an infamous feeling--a man who
 is boss1 who is going to govern his    

family1 and when he speaks let all the  
rest of them be still--some mighty idea 
is about to be launched from his mouth4 
,do you know ,i dislike this man        
unspeakably2 and a cross man ,i hate    
above all things4  ,what right has he to
 murder the sunshine of the day8  ,what 
right has he to assassinate the joy of  
life8  ,where you go home you ought to  
feel the light there is in the house2 if
 it is in the night it will burst out of
 doors and windows and illuminate the   
darkness4  ,it is just as well to go    
home a ray of sunshine as an old sour1  
cross curmudgeon1 who thinks he is the  
head of the family4  ,wise men think    
their mighty brains have been in a      
turmoil2 they have been thinking about  
who will be alderman from the fifth     
ward2 they have been thinking about     
politics2 great and mighty questions    
have been engaging their minds2 they    
have bought calico at #h cents1 or #f1  
and want to sell it for #g4 ,think of   
the intellectual strain that must have  

been upon a man1 and when he gets home  
everybody else in the house must look   
out for his comfort4  ,a woman who has  
only taken care of five or six children1
 and one or two of them may be sick2 has
 been nursing them and singing to them1 
and taking care of them1 and trying to  
make one yard of cloth do the work of   
two--she1 of course1 is fresh and fine1 
and ready to wait upon this great       
gentleman--the head of the family ,i    
don't like him a bit6  ,do you know     
another thing8  ,i despise a stingy man4
  ,i don't see how it is possible for a 
man to die worth fifty millions of      
dollars1 or ten millions of dollars1 in 
a city full of want1 when he meets      
almost every day the withered hand of   
beggary and the white lips of famine4   
,how a man can withstand all that1 and  
hold in the clutch of his greed twenty  
or thirty millions of dollars1 is past  
my comprehension4  ,i do not see how he 
can do it4  ,i should not think he could
 do it any more than he could keep a    

pile of lumber where hundreds and       
thousands of men were drowning in the   
sea4  ,i should not think he could do   
it4  ,do you know ,i have known men who 
would trust their wives with their      
hearts and their honor1 but not with    
their pocketbook2 not with a dollar4    
,when ,i see a man of that kind ,i      
always think he knows which of these    
articles is the most valuable4  ,think  
of making your wife a beggar6  ,think of
 her having to ask you every day for a  
dollar1 or for two dollars1 or for fifty
 cents6  ,what did you do with that     
dollar ,i gave you last week8  ,think of
 having a wife that was afraid of you6  
,what kind of children do you expect to 
have with a beggar and a coward for     
their mother8 ,oh1 ,i tell you1 if you  
have but a dollar in the world1 and you 
have got to spend it1 spend it like a   
king2 spend it as though it were a dry  
leaf and you the owner of unbounded     
forests6 ,that's the way to spend it6   
,i had rather be a beggar and spend my  

last dollar like a king1 than be a king 
and spend my money like a beggar4 ,if   
it's got to go1 let it go4  ,get the    
best you can for your family--try to    
look as well as you can yourself4  ,when
 you used to go courting1 how nice you  
looked6 ,ah1 your eye was bright1 your  
step was light1 and you just put on the 
very best look you could4  ,do you know 
that it is insufferable egotism in you  
to suppose that a woman is going to love
 you always looking as bad as you can8  
,think of it6  ,any woman on earth will 
be true to you forever when you do your 
level best4  ,some people tell me1 ,your
 doctrine about loving1 and wives1 and  
all that is splendid for the rich1 but  
it won't do for the poor4  ,i tell you  
tonight there is on the average more    
love in the homes of the poor than in   
the palaces of the rich2 and the meanest
 but with love in it is fit for the     
gods1 and a palace without love is a den
 only fit for wild beasts4  ,that's my  
doctrine6  ,you can't be so poor but    

that you can help somebody4  ,good      
nature is the cheapest commodity in the 
world2 and love is the only thing that  
will pay #aj percent to borrower and    
lender both4 ,don't tell me that you    
have got to be rich6  ,we have all a    
false standard of greatness in the      
,united ,states4  ,we think here that a 
man to be great1 must be notorious2 must
 be extremely wealthy1 or his name must 
be between the lips of rumor4  ,it is   
all nonsense6  ,it is not necessary to  
be rich to be great1 or to be powerful  
to be happy2 and the happy man is the   
successful man4 ,happiness is the legal 
tender of the soul4  ,joy is wealth4  ,a
 little while ago ,i stood by the grave 
of the old ,napoleon1 a magnificent     
tomb1 fit for a dead deity almost1 and  
gazed into the great circle at the      
bottom of it4  ,in the sarcophagus1 of  
black ,egyptian marble1 at last rest the
 ashes of that restless man4  ,i looked 
over the balustrade1 and ,i thought     
about the career of ,napoleon4  ,i could

 see him walking upon the banks of the  
,seine contemplating suicide4  ,i saw   
him at ,toulon4  ,i saw him putting down
 the mob in the streets of ,paris4 ,i   
saw him at the head of the army of      
,italy4  ,i saw him crossing the bridge 
at ,lodi4  ,i saw him in ,egypt1        
fighting the battle of the pyramids4  ,i
 saw him cross the ,alps1 and mingle the
 eagles of ,france with the eagles of   
the crags4  ,i saw him at ,austerlitz4  
,i saw him with his army scattered and  
dispersed before the blast4  ,i saw him 
at ,leipsic when his army was defeated  
and he was taken captive4  ,i saw him   
escape4  ,i saw him land again upon     
,french soil1 and retake an empire by   
the force of his own genius4  ,i saw him
 captured once more1 and again at ,st4  
,helena1 with his arms behind him1      
gazing out upon the sad and solemn sea2 
and ,i thought of the orphans and       
,widows he had made4  ,i thought of the 
tears that had been shed for his glory4 
,i thought of the only woman who ever   

loved him1 who had been pushed from his 
heart by the cold hand of ambition2 and 
as ,i looked at the sarcophagus1 ,i     
said1 ,i would rather have been a       
,french peasant and worn wooden shoes2  
,i would rather have lived in a hut1    
with a vine growing over the door1 and  
the grapes growing and ripening in the  
autumn sun2 ,i would rather have been   
that peasant1 with my wife by my side   
and my children upon my knees1 twining  
their arms of affection about me2 ,i    
would rather have been that poor ,french
 peasant1 and gone down at last to the  
eternal promiscuity of the dust1        
followed by those who loved me2 ,i would
 a thousand times rather have been that 
,french peasant than that imperial      
personative of force and murder4  ,and  
so ,i would1 ten thousand times4  ,it is
 not necessary to be great to be happy2 
it is not necessary to be rich to be    
just and generous1 and to have a heart  
filled with divine affection4  ,no      
matter whether you are rich or poor1 use

 your wife as though she were a splendid
 creation1 and she will fill your life  
with perfume and joy4  ,and do you know1
 it is a splendid thing for me to think 
that the woman you really love will     
never grow old to you8 ,through the     
wrinkles of time1 through the music of  
years1 if you really love her1 you will 
always see the face you loved and won4  
,and a woman who really loves a man1    
does not see that he grows older2 he is 
not decrepit2 he does not tremble2 he is
 not old2 she always sees the same      
gallant gentleman who won her hand and  
heart4  ,i like to think of it in that  
way4  ,i like to think of all passions2 
love is eternal1 and1 as ,shakespeare   
says1 ,although ,time1 with his sickle1 
can rob ruby lips and sparkling eyes1   
let him reach as far as he can1 he      
cannot quite touch love2 that reaches   
even to the end of the tomb4  ,and to   
love in that way1 and then go down the  
hill of life together1 and as you go    
down hear1 perhaps1 the laughter of     

grandchildren--the birds of joy and love
 sing once more in the leafless branches
 of age4  ,i believe in the fireside4 ,i
 believe in the democracy of home4  ,i  
believe in the republicanism of the     
family4  ,i believe in liberty and      
equality with those we love4  ,if women 
have been slaves1 what shall ,i say of  
children2 of the little children in the 
alleys and sub-cellars2 the little      
children who turn pale when they hear   
their father's footsteps2 little        
children who run away when they only    
hear their names called by the lips of  
another2 little children--the children  
of poverty1 the children of crime1 the  
children of brutality wherever you      
are--flotsam and jetsam upon the wild1  
mad sea of life1 my heart goes out to   
you1 one and all4  ,i tell you the      
children have the same rights that we   
have1 and we ought to treat them as     
though they were human beings2 and they 
should be reared by love1 by kindness1  
by tenderness1 and not by brutality4    

,that is my idea of children4  ,when    
your little child tells a lie1 don't    
rush at him as though the world were    
about to go into bankruptcy4  ,be honest
 with him4  ,a tyrant father will have  
liars for children2 do you know that8 ,a
 lie is born of tyranny upon the one    
hand and weakness upon the other1 and   
when you rush at a poor little boy with 
a club in your hand1 of course he lies4 
,i thank ,mother ,nature that she has   
put ingenuity enough in the breast of a 
child1 when attacked by a brutal parent1
 to throw up a little breastwork in the 
shape of a lie4  ,when one of your      
children tells a lie1 be honest with    
him2 tell him you have told hundreds of 
them yourself4 ,tell him it is not the  
best way2 you have tried it4 ,tell him1 
as the man did in ,maine when his boy   
left home3 ,john1 honesty is the best   
policy2 ,i have tried both4  ,just be   
honest with him4  ,imagine now2 you are 
about to whip a child five years of age4
 ,what is the child to do8 ,suppose a   

man1 as much larger than you are larger 
than a child five years old1 should come
 at you with liberty-pole in hand1 and  
in a voice of thunder shout1 ,who broke 
the plate8  ,there is not a solitary one
 of you who wouldn't swear you never saw
 it1 or that it was cracked when you    
found it4  ,why not be honest with these
 children8  ,just imagine a man who     
deals in stocks putting false rumors    
afloat6  ,think of a lawyer beating his 
own flesh and blood for evading the     
truth1 when he makes half of his own    
living that way6  ,think of a minister  
punishing his child for not telling all 
he thinks6  ,just think of it6 ,when    
your child commits a wrong1 take it in  
your arms2 let it feel your heart beat  
against its heart2 let the child know   
that you really and truly and sincerely 
love it4  ,yet some ,christians1 good   
,christians1 when a child commits a     
fault1 drive it from the door1 and say1 
,never do you darken this house again4  
,think of that6  ,and then these same   

people will get down on their knees and 
ask ,god to take care of the child they 
have driven from home4  ,i will never   
ask ,god to take care of my children    
unless ,i am doing my level best in that
 same direction4 ,but ,i will tell you  
what ,i say to my children3  ,go where  
you will2 commit what crime you may2    
fall to what depth of degradation you   
may2 you can never commit any crime that
 will shut my door1 my arms1 my heart to
 you2 as long as ,i live you shall have 
no more sincere friend4  ,do you know1  
,i have seen some people who acted as   
though they thought when the ,savior    
said1 ,suffer little children to come   
unto me1 for such is the ,kingdom of    
,heaven1 that he had a rawhide under his
 mantle and made that remark to get the 
children within striking distance4  ,i  
don't believe in the government of the  
lash4  ,if any one of you ever expect to
 whip your children again after you hear
 me1 ,i want you to have a photograph   
taken of yourself when you are in the   

act1 with your face red with vulgar     
anger2 and then the face of the little  
child1 with eyes swimming in tears1 and 
the little chin dimpled with fear1 like 
a piece of water struck by a sudden1    
cold wind4  ,have the picture taken4    
,if that little child should die1 ,i    
cannot find a sweeter way to spend an   
autumn afternoon than to go out to the  
cemetery1 when the maples are clad in   
bright colors1 and little scarlet       
runners are coming1 like poems of       
regret1 from the sad heart of the       
earth--than to go out to the cemetery   
and sit down upon the grave and look at 
this photograph1 and think of the flesh1
 now dust1 that you beat4  ,i tell you  
it is wrong2 it is no way to raise      
children6  ,make your home happy4  ,be  
honest with them1 divide fairly with    
them in everything4 ,give them a little 
liberty1 and you cannot drive them out  
of the house4 ,they will want to stay   
there4  ,make home pleasant4  ,let them 
play any game they want to4  ,don't be  

so foolish as to say3  ,you may roll    
balls on the ground1 but you must not   
roll them on green cloth4  ,you may     
knock them with a mallet1 but you must  
not push them with a cue4  ,you may play
 with little pieces of paper which have 
',authors' written on them1 but you must
 not have 'keerds4'  ,think of it6  ,you
 may go to a minstrel show1 where people
 blacken themselves up and degrade      
themselves1 and imitate humanity below  
themselves1 but you must not go to the  
theater and see the characters of       
immortal genius put upon the stage4     
,why8 ,well1 ,i can't think of any      
reason in the world except minstrel is a
 word of two syllables and theater has  
three4  ,let children have some daylight
 at home if you want to keep them there1
 and don't commence at the cradle and   
yell1 ,don't6  ,don't6  ,stop6 ,that is 
nearly all that is said to a young one  
from the cradle until he is twenty one  
years old1 and when he comes of age     
other people begin saying ,don't6 ,and  

the church says ,don't6  ,and the party 
that he belongs to says ,don't6  ,i     
despise that way of going through this  
world4 ,let us have a little            
liberty--just a little bit4  ,there is  
another thing4  ,in old times1 you know1
 they thought some days were too good   
for a child to enjoy himself in4  ,when 
,i was a boy ,sunday was considered     
altogether too good to be happy in2 and 
,sunday used to commence then when the  
sun went down ,saturday night4  ,that   
was to get good ready--a kind of running
 jump2 and when the sun went down1 a    
darkness ten thousand times deeper than 
that of night fell on that house4       
,nobody said a word then2 nobody        
laughed2 and the child that looked the  
sickest was regarded the most pious4    
,you couldn't crack hickory nuts2 you   
couldn't chew gum2 and if you laughed1  
it was only another evidence of the     
total depravity of man4 ,that was a     
solemn night2 and the next morning      
everybody looked sad1 mournful1         

dyspeptic--and thousands of people think
 they have religion when they have only 
got dyspepsia--thousands6  ,but there is
 nothing in this world that would break 
up the old orthodox churches as quick as
 some specific for dyspepsia--some sure 
cure4  ,then we went to church1 and the 
minister was up in a pulpit about twenty
 feet high1 with a little sounding-board
 over him1 and he commenced with        
,firstly and went on to about           
twenty-thirdly1 and then around by way  
of application1 and then divided it off 
again once or twice1 and after having   
put in about two hours1 he got to       
,revelations4 ,we were not allowed to   
have any fire1 even if it was in the    
winter4  ,it was thought to be          
outrageous to be comfortable while you  
are thanking the ,lord1 and the first   
church that ever had a stove put in it  
in ,new ,england was broken up on that  
account4  ,then we went a-nooning1 and  
then came the catechism1 the chief end  
of man4  ,we went through that2 and then

 this same sermon was preached1         
commencing at the other end1 and going  
back4 ,after that was over we started   
for home1 solemn and sad--not a soldier 
discharged his farewell shot2  not a    
word was said--and when we got home1 if 
we had been good boys1 they would take  
us up to the graveyard to cheer us up a 
little4  ,it did cheer me6  ,when ,i    
looked at those tombs the comforting    
reflection came to my mind that this    
kind of thing couldn't last always4     
,then we had some certain books that we 
read just by way of cheerfulness4       
,there was ,milner's ,history of the    
,wilderness1 ,baxter's ,call to the     
,unconverted1 and ,jenkins' ,on the     
,atonement4  ,i used to read ,jenkins'  
,on the ,atonement2  and ,i have often  
thought the atonement would have to be  
very broad in its provisions to cover   
the case of a man who would write a book
 like that for a boy to read4 ,well1 you
 know1 the ,sunday had to go at last2   
and the moment the sun went down ,sunday

 night we were free4  ,about #d or #e   
o'clock we would go to see how the sun  
was coming out4  ,sometimes it seemed to
 me that it was just stopping from pure 
cussedness2 but finally it had to go    
down1 and when the last rim of light    
sank below the horizon1 out would come  
our traps1 and we would give three      
cheers for liberty once more4  ,in those
 times it was thought wrong for a child 
to laugh on ,sunday4  ,think of that6   
,a little child--a little boy--could go 
out in the garden1 and there would be a 
tree laden with blossoms1 and this      
little fellow would lean up against the 
tree1 and there would be a bird singing 
and swinging1 and thinking about four   
little speckled eggs1 warmed by the     
breast of its mate--singing and         
swinging1 and the music coming rippling 
out of its throat1 and the flowers      
blossoming and the air full of perfume1 
and the great white clouds floating in  
the sky2 and that little boy would lean 
up against that trunk1 and think of     

hell4  ,that's true6  ,i have heard them
 preach when ,i sat in the pew1 and my  
feet didn't come within eighteen inches 
of the floor1 about that hell4 ,and they
 said1 ,suppose that once in a million  
years a bird would come from some far   
distant planet1 and carry in its bill a 
grain of sand1 the time would finally   
come when the last atom composing this  
earth would be carried away2  and the   
old preacher said1 in order to impress  
upon the boys the length of time they   
would have to stay1 it wouldn't be      
sun-up in hell yet4  ,think of that to  
preach to children6  ,i tell you1 my    
friends1 no day can be so sacred but    
that the laugh of a little child will   
make it holier still--no day6  ,and yet1
 at that time1 the minds of children    
were polluted by this infamous doctrine 
of eternal punishment2 and ,i denounce  
it today as an infamous doctrine beyond 
the power of language to express4       
,where did that doctrine of eternal     
punishment for the children of men come 

from8  ,it came from that wretch in the 
dug-out4 ,where did he get it8  ,it was 
a souvenir from the animals1 and the    
doctrine of eternal punishment was born 
in the eyes of snakes when they hung in 
fearful coils watching for their prey4  
,it was a doctrine born of the howling  
and barking and growling of wild beasts2
 it was born in the grin of the hyenas1 
and of the depraved chatter of the      
baboons2 and ,i despise it with every   
drop of my blood4  ,tell me there is a  
,god in the serene heaven that will damn
 his children for the expression of an  
honest belief6  ,there have been more   
men who died in their sins1 according to
 your orthodox religion1 than there are 
leaves on all the forests of this world 
ten thousand times over4  ,tell me they 
are in hell6 ,tell me they are to be    
punished for ever and ever6  ,i denounce
 it as an infamous lie6  ,and when the  
great ship containing the hope and      
aspiration of the world1 when the great 
ship freighted with mankind goes down in

 the night of death and disaster1 ,i    
will go down with the ship4  ,i don't   
want to paddle off in any orthodox      
canoe4  ,i will go down with the ship2  
and if there is a ,god who will damn his
 children forever ,i had rather go to   
hell than to go to heaven and keep the  
society of such an infamous ,deity4  ,i 
make my choice now4  ,i despise that    
doctrine1 and ,i'll tell you why4  ,it  
has covered the cheeks of this world    
with tears4 ,it has polluted the heart  
of children4  ,it has been a pain and   
terror to every man that ever believed  
it4  ,it has filled the good with horror
 and fear1 but it has had no effect upon
 the infamous and base4  ,i tell you it 
is a bad doctrine4  ,i read in the      
papers today what ,henry ,ward ,beecher1
 whom ,i regard as the most intellectual
 preacher in the pulpit of the ,united  
,states--,i will read from the paper    
what he said yesterday1 and you will see
 an abstract of it in the ,new ,york    
,times of today4  ,he has had the       

courage1 and he has had the magnificent 
manhood1 to say3  ,i say to you1 and ,i 
swear to you1 by the wounds in the hands
 of ,christ--,i swear to you by the     
wounds in the body and feet of ,christ1 
that this doctrine of eternal hell is a 
most infamous nightmare of theology6    
,it never should be preached again4     
,what right have you1 sir2 you1         
minister1 as you are1 to stand at the   
portal of eternity1 or the portal of the
 tomb1 and fill the future with horror  
and with fear8  ,you have no right to do
 it4  ,i don't believe it1 and neither  
do you4  ,you would not sleep one night4
  ,any man who believes it1 who has got 
a decent heart in his bosom1 will go    
insane4 ,yes1 sir1 a man that really    
believes that doctrine and does not go  
insane1 has got the conscience of a     
snake and the intellect of a hyena4 ,o6 
,i thank my stars that you do not       
believe it4  ,you cannot believe it1 and
 you never will believe it4  ,old       
,jonathan ,edwards1 the dear old soul1  

he is in heaven ,i suppose1 said3  ,can 
the believing husband in heaven be happy
 with his unbelieving wife in hell8     
,can the believing father in heaven be  
happy with his unbelieving children in  
hell8 ,can the loving wife in heaven be 
happy with her unbelieving husband in   
hell8  ,i tell you yea4  ,such will be  
their sense of justice that it will     
increase rather than diminish their     
happiness4  ,think of these infamous    
doctrines that have been taught in the  
name of religion6  ,do not stuff these  
things into the minds of your children4 
,give them a chance4  ,let them read4   
,let them think4  ,do not treat your    
children like posts1 to be set in the   
orthodox road1 but like trees1 that need
 light and sun and air4 ,be honest with 
them4  ,be fair with them4  ,in old     
times they used to make all children go 
to bed when they were not sleepy1 and   
all of them got up when they were       
sleepy4  ,i say let them go to bed--when
 they are sleepy and get up when they   

are not4 ,but they say that will do for 
the rich1 but not for the poor4  ,well1 
if the poor have to wake their children 
early in the morning1 it is as easy to  
wake them with a kiss as with a club4   
,i believe in letting children commence 
at which end of the dinner they want to4
  ,let them eat what they want4  ,it is 
their business4  ,they know what they   
want to eat4  ,and if they have had     
their liberty from the first1 they can  
beat any doctor in the world4  ,all the 
improvement that has ever been made in  
medicine has been made by the           
recklessness of patients4 ,yes1 sir4    
,thousands and thousands of years the   
doctors wouldn't let a man have water in
 fever4 ,every now and then some fellow 
got reckless and said3  ,i will die1 ,i 
am so thirsty1 and drank two or three   
quarts of water and got well4  ,and they
 kept that up until finally the doctors 
said1 that is the best thing for a fever
 you can do4  ,i have more confidence to
 agree with nature about these things   

than any of the conclusions of the      
schools4  ,just let your children have  
freedom1 and they will fall right into  
your ways and do just as you do4 ,but   
you try to make them1 and there is some 
magnificent1 splendid thing in the human
 heart that will not be driven4  ,and do
 you know it is the luckiest thing for  
this world that ever happened that      
people are so4 ,what would we have been 
if the people in any age of the world   
had done just as the doctors told them8 
,they would have been all dead4  ,what  
would we have done if1 at any age of the
 world1 we had followed implicitly the  
direction of the church8  ,we would have
 been all idiots1 every one4  ,it is a  
splendid thing that there is always some
 fellow who won't mind1 and will think  
for himself4  ,and ,i believe in letting
 children think for themselves4  ,i     
believe in having a family like a       
democracy4  ,if there is anything       
splendid in this world it is a home of  
that kind4 ,they used to tell us1 ,let  

your victuals close your mouth4  ,we    
used to eat as though it was a religious
 performance4  ,i like to see the       
children about1 and every one telling   
what he has seen and heard4  ,i like to 
hear the clatter of the knives and      
spoons mingling with the laughter of    
their voices4  ,i had rather hear it    
than any opera that has ever been put   
upon the boards4  ,let them have        
liberty2 let them have freedom1 and ,i  
tell you your children will love you to 
death4  ,now1 ,i have some excuses to   
offer for the race to which ,i belong4  
,i have two4  ,my first excuse is that  
this is not a very good world to raise  
folks in anyway4  ,it is not very well  
adapted to raising magnificent people4  
,there's only a quarter of it land to   
start with4 ,it is three times better   
fitted for raising fish than folks1 and 
in that one quarter of land there is not
 a tenth part fit to raise people on4   
,you can't raise people without a good  
climate4  ,you have got to have the     

right kind of climate1 and you have got 
to have certain elements in the soil1 or
 you can't raise good people4  ,do you  
know that there is only a little zig-zag
 strip around the world within which    
have been produced all men of genius8   
,the southern hemisphere has never      
produced a man of genius1 never2 and    
never will until civilization1 fighting 
the heat that way and the cold this1    
widens this portion of the earth until  
it is capable of producing great men and
 great women4  ,it is the same with men 
that it is with vegetation2 you go into 
a garden1 and find there flowers        
growing4  ,and as you go up the         
mountain1 the birch and the hemlock and 
the spruce are to be found4  ,and as you
 go toward the top1 you find little1    
stunted trees getting a miserable       
subsistence out of the crevices of the  
rocks1 and you go on up and up and up1  
until finally you find at the top little
 moss-like freckles4  ,you might as well
 try to raise flowers where those       

freckles grow as to raise great men and 
women where you haven't got the soil4   
,i don't believe man ever came to any   
high station without woman4 ,there has  
got to be some restraint1 something to  
make you prudent1 something to make you 
industrious4  ,and in a country where   
you don't need any bed quilt but a      
cloud1 revolution is the normal         
condition of the people4 ,you have got  
to have the fireside2 you have got to   
have the home1 and there by the fireside
 will grow and bloom the fruits of the  
human race4 ,i recollect a while ago ,i 
was in ,washington when they were trying
 to annex ,santo ,domingo4  ,they said3 
,we want to take in ,santo ,domingo4    
,said ,i3   ,we don't want it4  ,why1   
said they1 it is the best climate the   
earth can produce4  ,there is everything
 you want4  ,yes1 said ,i1 but it won't 
produce men4 ,we don't want it4  ,we    
have got soil enough now4  ,take #e1jjj 
ministers from ,new ,england1 #e1jjj    
presidents of colleges1 and #e1jjj solid

 business men1 and their families1 and  
take them to ,santo ,domingo2 and then  
you will see the effect of climate4 ,the
 second generation1 you will see        
barefooted boys riding bareback on a    
mule1 with their hair sticking out of   
the top of their sombreros1 with a      
rooster under each arm1 going to a      
cock-fight on ,sunday4  ,you have got to
 have the soil2 you have got to have the
 climate1 and you have got to have      
another thing--you have got to have the 
fireside4 ,that is one excuse ,i have   
for us4  ,the next excuse is that ,i    
think we came up from the lower animals4
 ,else how can you account for all this 
snake and hyena and jackal in man8 ,now1
 when ,i first heard that doctrine1 ,i  
didn't like it4  ,i felt sorry for      
people who had nothing but ancestors to 
be proud of4  ,it touched my heart to   
think that they would have to go back to
 the ,duke ,orangutan or the ,duchess   
,chimpanzee4  ,i was sorry1 and ,i hated
 to believe it4  ,i don't know that it  

is the truth now4  ,i am not satisfied  
upon that question2 ,i stand about eight
 to seven4  ,i thought it over4 ,i read 
about it4  ,i read about these          
rudimentary bones and muscles4 ,i didn't
 like that4  ,i read that everybody had 
rudimentary muscles coming from the ear 
right down here 7indicating72 that the  
most intellectual people in the world   
have got them4  ,i say1 ,what are they8 
,rudimentary muscles4  ,what kind of    
muscles8 ,muscles that your ancestors   
used to have fully developed4 ,what for8
  ,to flap their ears with4  ,well1     
whether we ever had them or not1 ,i know
 of lots of men who ought to have them  
yet4  ,and finally ,i said1 ,well1 ,i   
guess we came up from the lower animals4
  ,i thought it all over2 the best ,i   
could1 and ,i said1 ,i guess we did4    
,and after a while ,i began to like it1 
and ,i like it better now than ,i did   
before4  ,do you know that ,i would     
rather belong to a race that started    
with skull-less vertebrae in the dim    

,laurentian seas1 wiggling without      
knowing why they wiggled1 swimming      
without knowing where they were going2  
but kept developing and getting a little
 further up and a little further up1 all
 through the animal world1 and finally  
striking this chap in the dug-out4  ,a  
getting a little bigger1 and this fellow
 calling that fellow a heretic1 and that
 fellow calling the other an infidel1   
and so on4  ,for in the history of the  
world1 the man who has been ahead has   
always been called a heretic4           
,recollect this6  ,i would rather come  
from a race that started from that      
skull-less vertebrae1 and came up and up
 and up1 and finally produced           
,shakespeare1 who found the human       
intellect wallowing in a hut1 and       
touched it with a wand of his genius1   
and it became a palace--dome and        
pinnacle4  ,i would rather belong to a  
race that commenced then1 and produced  
,shakespeare1 with the eternal hope of  
an infinite future for the children of  

progress leading from the far horizon1  
beckoning men forward--forward and      
onward forever4  ,i had rather belong to
 this race1 and commence there1 with    
that hope1 than to have sprung from a   
perfect pair on which the ,lord has lost
 money every day since4  ,these are the 
excuses ,i have for my race4  ,now1 my  
friends1 let me say another thing4  ,i  
do not pretend to have floated even with
 the heights of thought2 ,i do not      
pretend to have fathomed the abyss4     
,all ,i pretend is to give simply my    
honest thought4 ,every creed that we    
have today has upon it the mark of whip 
and chain and fagot4  ,i do not want it4
  ,free labor will give us wealth1 and  
has given us wealth1 and why8  ,because 
a free brain goes into partnership with 
a free hand4  ,that is why4 ,and when a 
man works for his wife and children1 the
 problem of liberty is1 how to do the   
most work in the shortest space of time2
 but the problem of slavery is1 how to  
do the least work in the longest space  

of time4  ,slavery is poverty2 liberty  
is wealth4  ,it is the same in thought4 
,free thought will give us truth2 and   
the man who is not in favor of free     
thought occupies the same relation to   
those he can govern that the slaveholder
 occupied to his slaves1 exactly4  ,free
 thought will give us wealth4  ,there   
has not been a generation of free       
thought yet4  ,it will be time to write 
a creed when there have been a few      
generations of free-brained men and     
splendid women in this world4 ,i don't  
know what the future may bring forth2 ,i
 don't know what inventions are in the  
brain of the future2 ,i don't know what 
garments may be woven1 with the years to
 come2 but ,i do know1 coming from the  
infinite sea of the future1 there will  
never touch this bank and shoal of time 
a greater blessing1 a grander glory1    
than liberty for man1 woman and child4  
,oh1 liberty6  ,float not forever in the
 far horizon6  ,remain not forever in   
the dream of the enthusiast and the poet

 and the philanthropist6 ,but come and  
take up thine abode with the children of
 men forever6      ,ingersoll's ,lecture
 on ,orthodoxy    ,ladies and           
,gentlemen3   ,it is utterly            
inconceivable that any man believing in 
the truth of the ,christian religion    
could publicly deny it1 because he who  
believes in that religion would believe 
that1 by a public denial1 he would peril
 the eternal salvation of his soul4  ,it
 is conceivable1 and without any great  
effort of the mind1 that millions who   
don't believe in the ,christian religion
 should openly say that they did4 ,in a 
country where religion is supposed to be
 in power--where it has rewards for     
pretense1 where it pays a premium upon  
hypocrisy1 where it at least is willing 
to purchase silence--it is easily       
conceivable that millions pretend to    
believe what they do not4  ,and yet ,i  
believe it has been charged against     
myself1 not only that ,i was insincere1 
but that ,i took the side ,i am on for  

the sake of popularity2 and the audience
 tonight goes far toward justifying the 
accusation4  ,it gives me immense       
pleasure to say to this immense audience
 that orthodox religion is dying out of 
the civilized world4  ,it is a sick man4
  ,it has been attacked with two        
diseases--softening of the brain and    
ossification of the heart4  ,it is a    
religion that no longer satisfies the   
intelligence of this county2 a religion 
that no longer satisfies the brain2 a   
religion against which the heart of     
every civilized man and woman protests4 
,it is a religion that gives hope only  
to a few2 a religion that puts a shadow 
upon the cradle2 a religion that wraps  
the coffin in darkness and fills the    
future of mankind with flame and fear4  
,it is a religion that ,i am going to do
 what little ,i can while ,i live to    
destroy2 and in its place ,i want       
humanity1 ,i want good-fellowship1 ,i   
want a brain without a chain1 ,i want a 
religion that every good heart will     

cheerfully applaud4  ,we must remember  
that this is a world of progress1 a     
world of change4 ,there is perpetual    
death and there is perpetual birth4 ,by 
the grave of the old forever stands     
youth and joy2 and1 when an old religion
 dies1 a better one is born4  ,when we  
find out that an assertion is a         
falsehood1 a shining truth takes its    
place1 and we need not fear the         
destruction of the false4  ,the more    
false we destroy the more room there    
will be for the true4 ,there was a time 
when the astrologer sought to read in   
the stars the fate of men and nations4  
,the astrologer has faded from the      
world1 but the astronomer has taken his 
place4  ,there was a time when the poor 
alchemist1 bent and wrinkled and old1   
over his crucible1 endeavored to find   
some secret by which he could change the
 baser metals into purest gold4  ,the   
alchemist is gone2 the chemist took his 
place2 and1 although he finds nothing to
 change metals into gold1 he finds      

something that covers the earth with    
wealth4  ,there was a time when the     
soothsayer and auger flourished1 and    
after them came the parson and the      
priest2 and the parson and priest must  
go4  ,the preacher must go1 and in his  
place must come the teacher--that real  
interpreter of nature4 ,we are done with
 the supernatural4  ,we are through with
 the miraculous and the wonderful4      
,there was once a prophet who pretended 
to read in the book of the future4  ,his
 place was taken by the philosopher1 who
 reasons from cause to effect--a man who
 finds the facts by which he is         
surrounded and endeavors to reason from 
these premises1 and to tell what in all 
probability will happen in the future4  
,the prophet is gone1 the philosopher is
 here4  ,there was a time when man      
sought aid entirely from heaven--when he
 prayed to the deaf sky4  ,there was a  
time when the world depended upon the   
supernaturalist4  ,that time in         
,christendom has passed4  ,we now depend

 upon the naturalist--not upon the      
disciple of faith1 but upon the         
discoverer of facts--upon the           
demonstrator of truth4 ,at last we are  
beginning to build upon a solid         
foundation1 and just as we progress the 
supernatural must die4  ,religion of the
 supernatural kind will fade from this  
world1 and in its place we will have    
reason4  ,in the place of the worship of
 something we know not of1 will be the  
religion of mutual love and             
assistance--the great religion of       
reciprocity4  ,superstition must go4    
,science will remain4  ,the church1     
however1 dies a little hard4  ,the brain
 of the world is not yet developed4     
,there are intellectual diseases the    
same as diseases of the body4           
,intellectual mumps and measles still   
afflict mankind4  ,whenever the new     
comes1 the old protests1 and the old    
fights for its place as long as it has a
 particle of power4  ,and we are now    
having the same warfare between         

superstition and science that there was 
between the stagecoach and the          
locomotive4  ,but the stage-coach had to
 go4  ,it had its day of glory and      
power1 but it is gone4 ,it went ,west4  
,in a little while it will be driven    
into the ,pacific1 with the last ,indian
 aboard4  ,so we find that there is the 
same conflict between the different     
sects and the different schools1 not    
only of philosophy1 but of medicine4    
,recollect that everything except the   
demonstrated truth is liable to die4    
,that is the order of nature4  ,words   
die4  ,every language has a cemetery4   
,every now and then a word dies and a   
tombstone is erected1 and across it is  
written the word obsolete4 ,new words   
are continually being born4  ,there is a
 cradle in which a word is rocked4  ,a  
thought is molded to a sound1 and the   
child-word is born4  ,and then comes a  
time when the word gets old1 and        
wrinkled1 and expressionless1 and is    
carried mournfully to the grave1 and    

that is the end of it4  ,so in the      
schools of medicine4 ,you can remember1 
so can ,i1 when the old alopathists     
reigned supreme4  ,if there was anything
 the matter with a man1 they let out his
 blood4  ,called to the bedside1 they   
took him to the edge of eternity with   
medicine1 and then practiced all their  
art to bring him back to life4  ,one can
 hardly imagine how perfect a           
constitution it took a few years ago to 
stand the assault of a doctor4 ,and long
 after it was found to be a mistake1    
hundreds and thousands of the old       
physicians clung to it1 carried around  
with them1 in one pocket1 a bottle of   
jalap1 and in the other a rusty lancet1 
sorry that they couldn't find some      
patient idiotic enough to allow the     
experiment to be made again4  ,so these 
schools1 and these theories1 and these  
religions die hard4 ,what else can they 
do8  ,like the paintings of the old     
masters1 they are kept alive because so 
much money has been invested in them4   

,think of the amount of money that has  
been invested in superstition6  ,think  
of the schools that have been founded   
for the more general diffusion of       
useless knowledge6 ,think of the        
colleges wherein men are taught that it 
is dangerous to think1 and that they    
must never use their brains except in an
 act of faith6  ,think of the millions  
and billions of dollars that have been  
expended in churches1 in temples and in 
cathedrals6 ,think of the thousands and 
thousands of men who depend for their   
living upon the ignorance of mankind6   
,think of those who grow rich on        
credulity and who fatten on faith6  ,do 
you suppose they are going to die       
without a struggle8  ,they will die if  
they don't struggle4  ,what are they to 
do8 ,from the bottom of my heart ,i     
sympathize with the poor clergyman that 
has had all his common sense educated   
out of him1 and is now to be thrown out 
upon the cold and uncharitable world4   
,his prayers are not answered2 he gets  

no help from on high1 and the pews are  
beginning to criticize the pulpit4      
,what is the man to do8  ,if he suddenly
 change1 he is gone4  ,if he preaches   
what he really believes1 he will get    
notice to quit4  ,and yet if he and the 
congregation would come together and be 
perfectly honest1 they would all admit  
they didn't believe anything of it4     
,only a little while ago a couple of    
ladies were riding together from a      
revival in a carriage late at night1 and
 one said to the other2 as they rode    
along3  ,i am going to say something    
that will shock you1 and ,i beg of you  
never to tell it to anybody else4  ,i am
 going to tell it to you4 ,well1 ,what  
is it8  ,says she3  ,i don't believe in 
the bible4 ,the other replied3 ,neither 
do ,i4  ,i have often thought how       
splendid it would be if the ministers   
could but come together and say3  ,now  
let us be honest4  ,let us tell each    
other1 honor bright--like ,dr4 ,currie  
did in the meeting here the other       

day--let us tell just what we believe4  
,they tell a story that in the old time 
a lot of people1 about twenty1 were in  
,texas in a little hotel1 and one fellow
 got up before the fire1 put his hands  
behind him1 and says he3  ,boys1 let us 
all tell our real names4 ,if the        
ministers and the congregations would   
only tell their real thoughts they would
 find that they are nearly as bad as ,i 
am1 and that they believe just about as 
little4  ,now1 ,i have been talking a   
great deal about the orthodox religion2 
and1 after having delivered a lecture1  
,i would meet some good1 religious      
person1 and he would say to me3  ,you   
don't tell it as we believe it4 ,well1  
but ,i tell it as you have it written in
 your creed4  ,oh1 well1 he says1 we    
don't mind that any more4  ,well1 why   
don't you change it8  ,oh1 well1 he     
says1 we understand it4  ,possibly the  
creed is in the best possible condition 
for them now4  ,there is a tacit        
understanding that they don't believe   

it4  ,there is a tacit understanding    
that they have got some way to get      
around it1 that they read between the   
lines2 and if they should meet now to   
form a creed1 they might fail to agree2 
and the creed is now so that they can   
say as they please1 except in public4   
,whenever they do so in public1 the     
church1 in self-defense1 must try them2 
and ,i believe in trying every minister 
that doesn't preach the doctrine as he  
agrees to4  ,i have not the slightest   
sympathy with a ,presbyterian preacher  
who endeavors to preach infidelity from 
his pulpit and receive ,presbyterian    
money4  ,when he changes his views1 he  
should step down and out like a man1 and
 say3 ,i don't believe your doctrine1   
and ,i will not preach it4  ,you must   
hire some bigger fool than ,i am4  ,but 
,i find that ,i get the creed very      
nearly right4  ,today there was put into
 my hands the new ,congregational creed4
  ,i have just read it1 and ,i thought  
,i would call your attention to it      

tonight1 to find whether the church has 
made any advance2 to find whether it has
 been affected by the light of science2 
to find whether the sun of knowledge has
 risen in the heavens in vain2 whether  
they are still the children of          
intellectual darkness2 whether they     
still consider it necessary for you to  
believe something that you by no        
possibility1 can understand1 in order to
 be a winged angel forever4  ,now1 let  
us see what their creed is4  ,i will    
read a little of it4  ,they commence by 
saying that they believe in one ,god1   
the ,father ,almighty1 maker of heaven1 
and of earth1 and of all things visible 
and invisible4  ,i am perfectly willing 
that ,he should make the invisible1 if  
they want ,him to4 ,they say1 now1 that 
there is this one personal ,god2 that   
,he is the maker of the universe1 and   
its ruler4  ,i again ask the old        
question3  of what did ,he make it8 ,if 
matter has not existed through eternity1
 then this ,god made it4  ,of what did  

,he make it8 ,what did ,he use for the  
purpose8 ,there was nothing in the      
universe except this ,god4  ,what had   
the ,god been doing for the eternity ,he
 had been living8  ,he had made         
nothing--called nothing into existence2 
never had had an idea1 because it is    
impossible to have an idea unless there 
is something to excite an idea4  ,what  
had ,he been doing8  ,why doesn't the   
,congregational ,church tell us8  ,how  
do they know about this infinite being8 
,and if ,he is infinite1 how can they   
comprehend ,him8  ,what good is it to   
believe something that you don't        
understand--that you never can          
understand8  ,in the old creeds they    
described this ,god as a being without  
body and parts or passions4  ,think of  
that6 ,something without body and parts 
or passions4  ,i defy any man in the    
world to write a letter descriptive of  
nothing4  ,you can not conceive of a    
finer word-painting of a vacuum than a  
something without body and parts or     

passions4  ,and yet this ,god1 without  
passions1 is angry at the wicked every  
day2 this ,god1 without passions1 is a  
jealous ,god1 whose anger burneth to the
 lowest hell4 ,this ,god1 without       
passions1 loves the whole human race1   
and this ,god1 without passions1 damns a
 large majority of the same4  ,so1 too1 
,he is the ruler of the world1 and ,i   
find here that we find ,his providence  
in the government of the nations4 ,what 
nations8  ,what evidence can you find1  
if you are absolutely honest and not    
frightened1 in the history of nations1  
that this universe is presided over by  
an infinitely wise and good ,god8 ,how  
do you account for ,russia8  ,how do you
 account for ,siberia8 ,how do you      
account for the fact that whole races of
 men toiled beneath the master's lash   
for ages without recompense and without 
reward8  ,how do you account for the    
fact that babes were sold from the arms 
of mothers--arms that had been reached  
toward ,god in supplication8 ,how do you

 account for it8 ,how do you account for
 the existence of martyrs8  ,how do you 
account for the fact that this ,god     
allows people to be burned simply for   
loving ,him8 ,how do you account for the
 fact that justice doesn't always       
triumph8 ,how do you account for the    
fact that innocence is not a perfect    
shield8 ,how do you account for the fact
 that the world has been filled with    
pain1 and grief1 and tears8  ,how do you
 account for the fact that people have  
been swallowed by volcanoes1 swept from 
the earth by storms1 dying by famine1 if
 there is above us a ruler who is       
infinitely good and infinitely powerful8
  ,i don't say there is none4  ,i don't 
know4  ,as ,i have said before1 this is 
the only planet ,i was ever on4  ,i live
 in one of the rural districts of the   
universe4  ,i know not about these      
things as much as the clergy4 ,and if   
they know no more about the other world 
than they do about this1 it is not worth
 mentioning4  ,how do they answer all   

this8  ,they say that ,god permits it4  
,what would you say to me if ,i stood by
 and saw a ruffian beat out the brains  
of a child1 when ,i had full and perfect
 power to prevent it8  ,you would say   
truthfully that ,i was as bad as the    
murderer4 ,that is what you would say4  
,is it possible for this ,god to prevent
 it8  ,then1 if ,he doesn't1 ,he is a   
fiend2 ,he is not good4 ,but they say   
,he permits it4  ,what for8  ,so we may 
have freedom of choice4 ,what for8  ,so 
that ,god may find1 ,i suppose1 who are 
good and who are bad4  ,didn't ,he know 
that when ,he made us8  ,did ,he not    
know exactly just what ,he was making8  
,why should ,he make those whom ,he knew
 would be criminals8  ,if ,i should make
 a machine that would walk your streets 
and commit murder1 you would hang me4   
,why not8  ,and if ,god made a man whom 
,he knew would commit murder1 then ,god 
is guilty of that murder4 ,if ,god made 
a man1 knowing he would beat his wife1  
that he would starve his children1 that 

he would strew on either side of his    
path of life the wrecks of ruined homes1
 then1 ,i say1 the being who called that
 wretch into existence is directly      
responsible4  ,and yet we are to find   
the providence of ,god in the history of
 nations4 ,what little ,i have read     
shows me that when man has been helped1 
man had to do it2 when the chains of    
slavery have been broken1 they have been
 broken by man2 when something bad has  
been done in the government of mankind1 
it is easy to trace it to man1 and to   
fix the responsibility upon human       
beings4  ,you will not look to the sky2 
you need throw neither praise nor blame2
 you can find the efficient causes      
nearer home--right here4  ,what is the  
next thing ,i find in this creed8  ,we  
believe that man was made in the image  
of ,god1 that he might know1 love and   
obey ,god1 and enjoy ,him for ever4  ,i 
don't believe that anybody ever did love
 ,god1 because nobody ever knew anything
 about ,him4 ,we love each other4  ,we  

love something that we know4  ,we love  
something that our experience tells us  
is good and great1 and good and         
beautiful4  ,we cannot by any           
possibility love the unknown4  ,we can  
love truth1 because truth adds to human 
happiness4  ,we can love justice1       
because it preserves human joy4 ,we can 
love charity4  ,we can love every form  
of goodness that we know1 or of which we
 can conceive1 but we cannot love the   
infinitely unknown4 ,and how can we be  
made in the image of something that has 
neither body and parts nor passions8    
,that our first parents1 by             
disobedience1 fell under the            
condemnation of ,god1 and that all men  
are so alienated from ,god that there is
 no salvation from the guilt and power  
of sin except through ,god's redeeming  
power4  ,is there an intelligent man or 
woman now in the world who believes in  
the ,garden of ,eden story8 ,if there   
is1 strike here 7tapping his forehead7  
and you will hear an echo4  ,something  

is for rent4  ,does any human being now 
believe that ,god made man of dust and a
 woman of a rib1 and put them in a      
garden1 and put a tree in the middle of 
it8 ,wasn't there room outside of the   
garden to put ,his tree1 if ,he didn't  
want people to eat ,his apple8  ,if ,i  
didn't want a man to eat my fruit ,i    
would not put him in my orchard4  ,does 
anybody now believe in the snake story8 
,i pity any man or woman who1 in this   
nineteenth century1 believes in that    
childish fable4  ,why did they disobey8 
,why1 they were tempted4  ,who by8 ,the 
devil4  ,who made the devil8  ,what did 
,he make him for8  ,why didn't ,he tell 
,adam and ,eve about this fellow8  ,why 
didn't he watch the devil instead of    
watching ,adam and ,eve8  ,instead of   
turning them out1 why didn't ,he keep   
him from getting in8  ,why didn't ,he   
have ,his flood first and drown the     
devil1 before ,he made man and woman8   
,and yet people who call themselves     
intelligent--professors in colleges and 

presidents of venerable                 
institutions--teach children1 and young 
men who ought to be children1 that the  
,garden of ,eden story is an absolute1  
historical fact6  ,well1 ,i guess it    
will not be long until that will fade   
from the imagination of men4  ,i defy   
any man to think of a more childish     
thing4  ,this ,god waiting around there1
 knowing all the while what would       
happen1 made them on purpose so it would
 happen2 and then what does he do8      
,holds all of us responsible2 and we    
were not there4 ,here is a              
representative before the constituency  
had been born4 ,before ,i am bound by a 
representative1 ,i want a chance to vote
 for or against him2 and if ,i had been 
there1 and known all the circumstances1 
,i should have voted against him4  ,and 
yet1 ,i am held responsible4  ,what did 
,adam do8  ,i cannot see that it        
amounted to much anyway4 ,a god that can
 create something out of nothing ought  
not to have complained of the loss of an

 apple4  ,i can hardly have the patience
 to speak upon such a subject4  ,now1   
that absurdity gave birth to            
another--that1 while we could be        
rightfully charged with the rascality of
 somebody else1 we could also be        
credited with the virtues of somebody   
else2 and the atonement is the absurdity
 which offsets the other absurdity of   
the fall of man4 ,let us leave them both
 out2 it reads a great deal better with 
both of them out2 it makes better sense4
  ,now1 in consequence of that1         
everybody is alienated from ,god4 ,how8 
,why8 ,oh1 we are all depraved1 you     
know2 we all want to do wrong4  ,well1  
why8 ,is that because we are depraved8  
,no4  ,why do we make so many mistakes8 
,because there is only one right way1   
and there is an almost infinite number  
of wrong ones2 and as long as we are not
 perfect in our intellects we must make 
mistakes4  ,there is no darkness but    
ignorance2 and alienation1 as they call 
it1 from ,god1 is simply a lack of      

intellect upon our part4  ,why were we  
not given better brains8  ,that may     
account for the alienation4  ,but the   
church teaches that every soul that     
finds its way to the shore of this world
 is against ,god--naturally hates ,god2 
that the little dimpled child in the    
cradle is simply a chunk of depravity4  
,everybody against ,god6  ,it is a libel
 upon the human race2 it is a libel upon
 all the men who have worked for wife   
and child2 it is a libel upon all the   
wives who have suffered and labored1    
wept and worked for children2 it is a   
libel upon all the men who have died for
 their country2 it is a libel upon all  
who have fought for human liberty2 it is
 a libel upon the human race4  ,leave   
out the history of the church1 and there
 is nothing in this world to prove the  
depravity of man left4  ,everybody that 
comes is against ,god4  ,every soul1    
they think1 is like the wrecked         
,irishman4  ,he was wrecked in the sea  
and drifted to an unknown island1 and as

 he climbed up the shore he saw a man1  
and said to him1 ,have you a government 
here8  ,the man said1 ,we have4 ,well1  
said he1 ,i am agin it6   ,the church   
teaches us that that is the attitude of 
every soul in the universe of ,god4     
,ought a god to take any credit to      
himself for making depraved people8  ,a 
god that cannot make a soul that is not 
totally depraved1 ,i respectfully       
suggest1 should retire from the         
business4  ,and if a god has made us1   
knowing that we would be totally        
depraved1 why should we go to the same  
being for repairs8  ,what is the next8  
,that all men are so alienated from ,god
 that there is no salvation from the    
guilt and power of his sin except       
through ,god's redeeming grace4         
,reformation is not enough4  ,if the man
 who steals becomes perfectly honest1   
that is not enough2 if the man who hates
 his fellow-man changes and loves his   
fellowman1 that is not enough2 he must  
go through the mysterious thing called  

the second birth2 he must be born again4
  ,that is not enough unless he has     
faith2 he must believe something that he
 does not understand4 ,reformation is   
not enough2 there must be what they call
 conversion4  ,i deny it4  ,according to
 the church1 nothing so excites the     
wrath of ,god--nothing so corrugates the
 brows of ,jehovah with revenge--as a   
man relying on his own good works4 ,he  
must admit that he ought to be damned1  
and that of the two he prefers it1      
before ,god will consent to save him4   
,i saw a man the other day1 and he said 
to me1 ,i am a ,unitarian ,universalist2
 that is what ,i am4  ,said ,i1 ,what do
 you mean by that8  ,well1 said he1 here
 is what ,i mean3 the ,unitarian thinks 
he is too good to be damned1 and the    
,universalist thinks ,god is too good to
 damn him1 and ,i believe them both4    
,what is the next thing in this great   
creed8  ,we believe that the scriptures 
of the old and new testaments are the   
records of ,god's revelation of ,himself

 in the work of redemption2 that they   
are written by men1 under the special   
guidance of the ,holy ,spirit1 and that 
they constitute an authoritative        
standard by which religious teaching and
 human conduct are to be regulated and  
judged4  ,this is the creed of the      
,congregational ,church2 that is1 it is 
the result of the high-joint commission 
appointed to draw up a creed for        
churches2 and there we have the         
statement that the bible was written by 
men1 under the special guidance of the  
,holy ,spirit4  ,what part of the bible8
  ,all of it2 all of it2 and yet what is
 this old testament that was written by 
an infinitely good ,god8  ,the being who
 wrote it did not know the shape of the 
world ,he had made4  ,the being who     
wrote it knew nothing of human nature2  
,he commands men to love ,him1 as if one
 could love upon command4  ,the same    
,god upheld the institution of human    
slavery2 and the church says the bible  
that upholds that institution was       

written by men under the guidance of the
 ,holy ,spirit4  ,then ,i disagree with 
the ,holy ,ghost upon that institution4 
,the church tells us that men1 under the
 guidance of the ,holy ,ghost1 upheld   
the institution of polygamy--,i deny it2
 that under the guidance of the ,holy   
,ghost these men upheld wars of         
extermination and conquest--,i deny it2 
that under the guidance of the ,holy    
,ghost these men wrote that it was right
 for a man to destroy the life of his   
wife if she happened to differ with him 
on the subject of religion--,i deny it4 
,and yet that is the book now upheld in 
this creed of the ,congregational       
,church4  ,if the devil had written upon
 the subject of slavery1 which side     
would he have taken8  ,let every        
minister answer1 honor bright4  ,if you 
knew the devil had written a little work
 on human slavery1 in your judgment     
would he uphold slavery or denounce it8 
,would you regard it as any evidence    
that he ever wrote it if he upheld      

slavery8  ,and yet1 here you have a work
 upholding slavery1 and you say that it 
was written by an infinitely good1 wise 
and beneficent ,god6  ,if the devil     
upheld polygamy would you be surprised8 
,if the devil wanted to kill somebody   
for differing with him would you be     
surprised8  ,if the devil told a man to 
kill his wife1 would you be astonished8 
,and yet1 you say1 that is exactly what 
the ,god of us all did4  ,if there be a 
,god1 then that creed is blasphemy4     
,that creed is a libel upon ,him who    
sits upon heaven's throne4  ,i want--if 
there be a ,god--,i want ,him to write  
in the book of his eternal remembrance  
that ,i denied these lies for ,him4  ,i 
do not believe in a slave-holding ,god2 
,i do not worship a polygamous ,holy    
,ghost2 ,i do not get upon my knees     
before any being who commands a husband 
to slay his wife because she expresses  
her honest thought4  ,did it ever occur 
to you that if ,god wrote the old       
testament1 and told the ,jews to crucify

 or kill anybody that disagreed with    
them on religion1 and that ,god         
afterward took upon ,himself flesh and  
came to ,jerusalem1 and taught a        
different religion1 and the ,jews killed
 ,him--did it ever occur to you that ,he
 reaped exactly what he had sown8 ,did  
it ever occur to you that ,he fell a    
victim to ,his own tyranny1 and was     
destroyed by ,his own law6  ,of course  
,i do not believe that any ,god ever was
 the author of the bible1 or that any   
,god was ever crucified1 or that any    
,god was ever killed or ever will be1   
but ,i want to ask you that question4   
,take this old testament1 then1 with all
 its stories of murder and massacre2    
with all its foolish and cruel fables2  
with all its infamous doctrines2 with   
its spirit of caste2 with its spirit of 
hatred1 and tell me whether it was      
written by a good ,god4 ,why1 if you    
will read the maledictions and curses of
 that book1 you would think that ,god1  
like ,lear1 had divided heaven among his

 daughters1 and then1 in the insanity of
 despair1 had launched his curses upon  
the human race4  ,and yet1 ,i must      
say--,i must admit--that the old        
testament is better than the new4  ,in  
the old testament1 when ,god got a man  
dead1 ,he let him alone4  ,when ,he saw 
him quietly in his grave ,he was        
satisfied4  ,the muscles relaxed1 and a 
smile broke over the ,divine face4  ,but
 in the new testament the trouble       
commences just at death4  ,in the new   
testament ,god is to wreak ,his revenge 
forever and ever4  ,it was reserved for 
one who said1 ,love your enemies1 to    
tear asunder the veil between time and  
eternity and fix the horrified gaze of  
men upon the gulfs of eternal fire4 ,the
 new testament is just as much worse    
than the old1 as hell is worse than     
sleep2 just as much worse as infinite   
cruelty is worse than annihilation2 and 
yet1 the new testament is pointed to as 
a gospel of love and peace4  ,but more  
of that hereafter1 as the ministers say4

  ,we believe that ,jesus ,christ came  
to establish among men the ,kingdom of  
,god1 the reign of truth and love1 of   
righteousness and peace4  ,well1 that   
may have been the object of ,jesus      
,christ4  ,i do not deny it4 ,but what  
was the result8  ,the ,christian world  
has caused more war than all the rest of
 the world besides2 all the cunning     
instruments of death have been devised  
by ,christians2 all the wonderful       
machinery by which the brains are blown 
out of a man1 by which nations are      
conquered and subdued--all these        
machines have been born in ,christian   
brains4  ,and yet ,he came to bring     
peace1 they say4  ,but the testament    
says otherwise3  ,i came not to bring   
peace1 but a sword4  ,and the sword was 
brought4  ,what are the ,christian      
nations doing today in ,europe8 ,is     
there a solitary ,christian nation that 
will trust any other8 ,how many millions
 of ,christians are in the uniform of   
everlasting forgiveness1 loving their   

enemies8  ,there was an old ,spaniard   
upon the bed of death1 and he sent for a
 priest1 and the priest told him that he
 would have to forgive his enemies      
before he died4  ,he says1 ,i have not  
any4  ,what6 no enemies8 ,not one1 said 
the dying man1 ,i killed the last one   
three weeks ago4  ,how many millions of 
,christians are now armed and equipped  
to destroy their fellow-,christians8    
,who are the men in ,europe crying out  
against war8  ,who wishes to have the   
nations disarmed8 ,is it the church8    
,no2 it is the men who do not believe in
 what they call this religion of peace4 
,when there is a war1 and when they make
 a few thousand widows and orphans1 when
 they strew the plain with dead         
patriots1 then ,christians assemble in  
their churches and sing ,te ,deum       
,laudamus to ,god4  ,why8  ,because ,he 
has enabled a few of ,his children to   
kill some others of ,his children4      
,this is the religion of peace--the     
religion that invented the ,krupp gun1  

that will hurl a bullet weighing #b1jjj 
pounds through twenty-four inches of    
solid steel4  ,this is the religion of  
peace1 that covers the sea with         
men-of-war1 clad in mail1 all in the    
name of universal forgiveness4  ,what   
effect had this religion upon the       
nations of the earth8 ,what have the    
nations been fighting about8  ,what was 
the ,thirty ,years' ,war in ,europe for8
  ,what was the war in ,holland for8    
,why was it that ,england persecuted    
,scotland8  ,why is it that ,england    
persecutes ,ireland even unto this day8 
,at the bottom of every one of these    
conflicts you will find a religious     
question4  ,the religion of ,jesus      
,christ1 as preached by ,his church1    
causes war1 bloodshed1 hatred1 and all  
uncharitableness2 and why8  ,because    
they say a certain belief is necessary  
to salvation4 ,they do not say1 if you  
behave yourself pretty well you will get
 there2 they do not say1 if you pay your
 debts and love your wife1 and love your

 children1 and are good to your friends1
 and your neighbors1 and your country1  
you will get there2 that will do you no 
good2 you have got to believe a certain 
thing4  ,oh1 yes1 no matter how bad you 
are1 you can instantly be forgiven then2
 and no matter how good you are1 if you 
fail to believe that1 the moment you get
 to the day of judgment nothing is left 
but to damn you forever1 and all the    
angels will shout ,hallelujah6  ,what do
 they teach today8  ,every murderer goes
 to heaven2 there is only one step from 
the gallows to ,god2 only one jerk      
between the halter and heaven4  ,that is
 taught by this same church4  ,i believe
 there ought to be a law to prevent the 
slightest religious consolation being   
given to any man who has been guilty of 
murder4  ,let a ,catholic understand    
that if he imbrues his hands in his     
brother's blood1 he can have no extreme 
unction2 let it be understood that he   
can have no forgiveness through the     
church2 and let the ,protestant         

understand that when he has committed   
that crime1 the community will not pray 
him into heaven4  ,let him go with his  
victim4  ,the victim1 you know1 dying in
 his sins1 goes to hell1 and the        
murderer has the happiness of seeing him
 there4  ,and if heaven grows dull and  
monotonous1 the murderer can again give 
life to the nerve of pleasure by        
watching the agony of his victim4  ,i am
 opposed to that kind of forgiveness4   
,and yet that is the religion of        
universal peace to everybody4  ,now1    
what is the next thing that ,i wish to  
call your attention to8  ,we believe in 
the ultimate prevalence of the ,kingdom 
of ,christ over all the earth4  ,what   
makes you8  ,do you judge from the      
manner in which you are getting along   
now8  ,how many people are being born a 
year8  ,about fifty millions4  ,how many
 are you converting a year2 really1     
truthfully8 ,five or six thousand4  ,i  
think ,i have overestimated the number4 
,is orthodox ,christianity on the       

increase8  ,no4 ,there are a hundred    
times as many unbelievers in orthodox   
,christianity as there were ten years   
ago4 ,what are you doing in the         
missionary ,world8  ,how long is it     
since you converted a ,chinaman8  ,a    
fine missionary religion1 to send       
missionaries1 with their bibles and     
tracts1 to ,china1 but if a ,chinaman   
comes here1 mob him1 simply to show him 
the difference between the practical and
 theoretical workings of the ,christian 
religion4  ,how long since you have had 
a convert in ,india8  ,in my judgment1  
never2 there never has been an          
intelligent ,hindoo converted from the  
time the first missionary put his foot  
upon that soil2 and never1 in my        
judgment1 has an intelligent ,chinaman  
been converted since the first          
missionary touched that shore4 ,where   
are they8 ,we hear nothing of them1     
except in the reports4  ,they get money 
from poor old ladies1 trembling on the  
edge of the grave1 and go and tell them 

stories how hungry the average ,chinaman
 is for a copy of the new testament1 and
 paint the sad condition of a gentleman 
in the interior of ,africa1 without the 
work of ,dr4 ,mc,cosh1 longing for a    
copy of the ,princeton ,review4  ,in my 
judgment1 it is a book that would suit a
 savage4 ,thus money is scared from the 
dying and frightened from the old and   
feeble4 ,about how long is it before    
this kingdom is to be established8      
,what is the next thing here8  ,they all
 also believe in the resurrection of the
 dead1 and in their confession of faith 
hereto attached ,i find they also       
believe in the resurrection of the body4
  ,does anybody believe that1 that has  
ever thought8  ,here is a man1 for      
instance1 that weighs #bjj pounds1 and  
gets sick and dies weighing #abj2 how   
much will he weigh in the morning of the
 resurrection8  ,here is a cannibal1 who
 eats another man2 and we know that the 
atoms that you eat go into your body and
 become a part of you4  ,after the      

cannibal has eaten the missionary1 and  
appropriated his atoms to himself1 and  
then he dies1 who will the atoms belong 
to in the morning of the resurrection in
 an action of replevin brought by the   
missionary against the cannibal8 ,it has
 been demonstrated again and again that 
there is no creation in nature1 and no  
destruction in nature4  ,it has been    
demonstrated again and again that the   
atoms that are in us have been in       
millions of other beings2 grown in the  
forest1 in the grass1 blossomed in the  
flowers1 been in the metals2 in other   
words1 there are atoms in each one of us
 that have been in millions of others1  
and when we die these atoms return to   
the earth1 and again spring in          
vegetation1 taken up in the leaves of   
the trees1 turned into wood4  ,and yet  
we have a church1 in the nineteenth     
century1 getting up this doctrine1      
presided over by professors1 by         
presidents of colleges1 and by          
theologians1 who tell us that they      

believe in the resurrection of the body4
  ,they know better4  ,there is not one 
so ignorant but what knows better4  ,and
 what is the next thing8  ,and in a     
final judgment4  ,it will be a set day4 
,all of us will be there1 and the       
thousands1 and millions1 and billions1  
and trillions1 and quadrillions that    
have died will be there4 ,it will be the
 day of judgment1 and the books will be 
opened and our case will be called4     
,does anybody believe in that now that  
has got the slightest sense8--one who   
knows enough to chew gum without a      
string8  ,the issues of which are       
everlasting punishment for the wicked   
and everlasting life for the redeemed4  
,that is the doctrine today of the      
,congregational church1 and that is the 
doctrine that ,i oppose4  ,that is the  
doctrine that ,i defy and deny4  ,but ,i
 must hasten on4  ,now this comes to us 
after all the discussion that has been1 
and we are told that this religion is   
finally to conquer this world4  ,this is

 the same religion that failed to       
successfully meet the hordes of         
,mohammed4  ,mohammed wrested from the  
disciples of the cross the fairest part 
of ,europe4  ,it was known that he was  
an impostor4 ,they knew he was because  
the people of ,mecca said so1 and they  
knew that ,christ was not because the   
people of ,jerusalem said he was4  ,this
 impostor wrested from the disciples of 
,christ the fairest part of ,europe1 and
 that fact sowed the seeds of distrust  
and infidelity in the minds of the      
,christian world4  ,and the next was an 
effort to rescue from the infidels the  
empty sepulchre of ,christ4  ,that      
commenced in the eleventh century and   
ended in #abia4  ,europe was almost     
depopulated4  ,for every man owed a     
debt1 the debt was discharged if he put 
a cross upon his breast and joined the  
,crusades4  ,no matter what crime he had
 committed the doors of the prison were 
open for him to join the ,crusades4     
,and what was the result8  ,they        

believed that ,god would give them      
victory over the infidel1 and they      
carried in front of the first ,crusade a
 goat and a goose1 believing that both  
those animals had been blessed by the   
indwelling of the ,holy ,ghost4  ,and ,i
 may say that those same animals are in 
the lead today in the orthodox world4   
,until #abia they endeavored to get that
 sepulchre1 until finally the hosts of  
,christ were driven back1 baffled1      
beaten1 and demoralized--a poor1        
miserable religious rabble4  ,they were 
driven back1 and that fact sowed the    
seeds of distrust in ,christendom4  ,you
 know at that time the world believed in
 trial by battle--that ,god would take  
the side of right--and there had been a 
trial by battle between the ,cross and  
,mohammed1 and ,mohammed had been       
victorious4  ,well1 what was the next8  
,you know when ,christianity came into  
power it destroyed every statue it could
 lay its ignorant hands upon4  ,it      
defaced and obliterated every painting2 

it destroyed every beautiful building2  
it destroyed the manuscripts1 both      
,greek and ,latin2 it destroyed all the 
history1 all the poetry1 all the        
philosophy it could find1 and burned    
every library that it could reach with  
its torch4  ,and the result was the     
night of the middle ages fell upon the  
human race4 ,but by accident1 by chance1
 by oversight1 a few of the manuscripts 
escaped the fury of religious zeal2 a   
few statues had been buried2 and the    
result was1 that these manuscripts      
became the seed1 the fruit of which is  
our civilization of today4  ,a few forms
 of beauty were dug from the earth that 
had protected them1 and now the         
civilized world is filled with art1 with
 painting1 and with statuary1 in spite  
of the rage of the early church4  ,what 
is the next blow that that this church  
received8  ,the discovery of ,america4  
,that is the next4  ,the ,holy ,ghost1  
who inspired a man to write the bible1  
did not know of the existence of this   

continent1 never dreamed of it2 the     
result was that ,his bible never spoke  
of it4  ,he did not dream that the earth
 is round4  ,he believed it was flat1   
although ,he made it ,himself1 and at   
that time heaven was just up there      
beyond the clouds4 ,there was where the 
gods lived1 there was where the angels  
were1 and it was against that heaven    
that ,jacob's ladder was that the angels
 ascended and descended4  ,it was to    
that heaven that ,christ ascended after 
,his resurrection4  ,it was up there    
where the ,new ,jerusalem was1 with its 
streets of gold1 and under this earth   
was perdition2 there was where the      
devils lived2 there was where a pit was 
dug for all unbelievers1 and for men who
 had brains1 and ,i say that for this   
reason3 ,that just in proportion that   
you have brains1 just in that proportion
 your chances for eternal joy are       
lessened1 according to this religion4   
,and just in proportion that you lack   
brains1 your chances are increased4     

,they believe1 under there that they    
discovered ,america4 ,they found that   
the earth is round4  ,it was            
circumnavigated by ,magellan4 ,in #aeai 
that brave man set sail4  ,the church   
told him3 ,the earth is flat1 my friend2
 don't go off4  ,you will go off the    
edge4 ,magellan said3 ,i have seen the  
shadow of the earth upon the moon1 and  
,i have more confidence in the shadow   
even than ,i have in the church4  ,the  
ship went round4  ,the earth was        
circumnavigated4  ,science passed its   
hand above it and beneath it1 and where 
was the heaven1 and where was the hell8 
,vanished forever6 ,and they dwell now  
only in the religion of superstition4   
,we found there was no place for        
,jacob's ladder to lean against2 no     
place there for the gods and angels to  
live2 no place there to empty the waters
 of the deluge2 no place there to which 
,christ could have ascended2 and the    
foundations of the ,new ,jerusalem      
crumbled1 and the towers and domes fell 

and became simply space--space sown with
 an infinite number of stars2 not with  
,new ,jerusalems1 but with              
constellations4  ,then man began to grow
 great1 and with that you know came     
astronomy4 ,now just see what they did  
in that4  ,in #adgc ,copernicus was     
born4  ,in #aedc his great work4  ,in   
#afaf the system of ,copernicus was     
condemned by the pope1 by the infallible
 ,catholic church1 and the church is    
about as near right upon that subject as
 upon any other4  ,the system of        
,copernicus was denounced4  ,and how    
long do you suppose the church fought   
that8 ,let me tell you4  ,it was revoked
 by ,pius ,,vii4 in the year of grace   
#ahba4  ,for #bje years after the death 
of ,copernicus the church insisted that 
that system was false1 and that the old 
idea was true4 ,astronomy is the first  
help that we ever received from heaven4 
,then came ,kepler in #afji1 and you may
 almost date the birth of science from  
the night that ,kepler discovered his   

first law4  ,that was the dawn of the   
day of intelligence--his first law1 that
 the planets do not move in circles2 his
 second law1 that they described equal  
spaces in equal times2 his third law1   
that there was a direct relation between
 weight and velocity4 ,that man gave us 
a key to heaven4  ,that man opened its  
infinite book1 and we now read it1 and  
he did more good than all the           
theologians that ever lived4  ,i have   
not time to speak of the others--of     
,galileo1 of ,leonardo da ,vinci1 and of
 hundreds of others that ,i could       
mention4  ,the next thing that gave this
 church a blow was statistics4  ,away   
went special providence4  ,we found by  
taking statistics that we could tell the
 average length of human life2 that this
 human life did not depend upon infinite
 caprice2 that it depended upon         
conditions1 circumstances1 laws and     
facts1 and that those conditions1       
circumstances1 and facts were ever      
active4  ,and now you will see the man  

who depends entirely upon special       
providence gets his life insured4  ,he  
has more confidence even in one of these
 companies than he has in the whole     
,trinity4  ,we found by statistics that 
there were just so many crimes on an    
average committed2 just so many crimes  
of one kind and so many of another2 just
 so many suicides1 so many deaths by    
drowning2 just so many accidents on an  
average2 just so many men marrying      
women1 for instance1 older than         
themselves2 just so many murders of a   
particular kind2 just the same number of
 accidents2 and ,i say tonight          
statistics utterly demolish the idea of 
special providence4  ,only the other day
 a gentleman was telling me of a case of
 special providence4  ,he knew it4  ,he 
had been the subject of it4  ,yes1 sir6 
,a few years ago he was about to go on a
 ship when he was detained2 he didn't   
go1 and the ship was lost and all on    
board4  ,yes6  ,i said1 ,do you think   
the fellows that were drowned believed  

in special providence8  ,think of the   
infinite egotism of such a doctrine4    
,here is a man that fails to go upon a  
ship with #ejj passengers1 and they go  
down to the bottom of the sea--fathers1 
mothers1 children1 and loving husbands1 
and wives waiting upon the shores of    
expectation4  ,here is one poor little  
wretch that didn't happen to go6 ,and he
 thinks that ,god1 the infinite being1  
interfered in his poor little withered  
behalf and let the rest all go4  ,that  
is special providence6  ,you know we    
have a custom every year of issuing a   
proclamation of thanksgiving4  ,we say  
to ,god1 ,although ,you have afflicted  
all the other countries1 although ,you  
have sent war1 and desolation1 and      
famine on everybody else1 we have been  
such good children that you have been   
kind to us1 and we hope you will keep   
on4  ,it don't make a bit of difference 
whether we have good times or not--not a
 bit2 the thanksgiving is always exactly
 the same4  ,i remember a few years ago 

a governor of ,iowa got out a           
proclamation of that kind4  ,he went on 
to tell how thankful the people were1   
how prosperous the ,state had been2 and 
there was a young fellow in the ,state  
who got out another proclamation1       
saying3 ,fearing that the ,lord might be
 misled by official correspondence1 he  
went on to say that the governor's      
proclamation was entirely false2 that   
the ,state was not prosperous2 that the 
crops had been an almost entire failure2
 that nearly every farm in the state was
 mortgaged2 that if the ,lord did not   
believe him1 all he asked was ,he would 
send some angel in whom he had          
confidence to look the matter over for  
himself4  ,of course ,i have not time to
 recount the enemies of the church4     
,every fact is an enemy of superstition4
  ,every fact is a heretic4 ,every      
demonstration is an infidel4            
,everything that ever happened testified
 against the supernatural4  ,i have only
 spoken of a few of the blows that      

shattered the shield and shivered the   
lance of superstition4  ,here is another
 one--the doctrine of ,charles ,darwin4 
,this century will be called ,darwin's  
century1 one of the greatest men who    
ever touched this globe4  ,he has       
explained more of the phenomena of life 
than all of the religious teachers4     
,write the name of ,charles ,darwin     
there 7on the one hand7 and the name of 
every theologian that ever lived there  
7on the other hand71 and from that name 
has come more light to the world than   
from all those4  ,his doctrine of       
evolution1 his doctrine of the survival 
of the fittest1 his doctrine of the     
origin of species1 has removed in every 
thinking mind the last vestige of       
orthodox ,christianity4  ,he has not    
only stated1 but he has demonstrated1   
that the inspired writer knew nothing of
 this world1 nothing of the origin of   
man1 nothing of geology1 nothing of     
astronomy1 nothing of nature2 that the  
bible is a book written by ignorance--by

 the instigation of fear6  ,think of the
 man who replied to him4  ,only a few   
years ago there was no parson too       
ignorant to successfully answer ,charles
 ,darwin2 and the more ignorant he was  
the more cheerfully he undertook the    
task4  ,he was held up to the ridicule1 
the scorn1 and the contempt of the      
,christian world1 and yet when he died  
,england was proud to put his dust with 
that of her noblest and her grandest4   
,charles ,darwin conquered the          
intellectual world1 and the doctrine of 
evolution is now an accepted fact4  ,his
 light has broken in on some of the     
early clergy1 and the greatest man who  
today occupies the pulpit is a believer 
in the evolution theory of ,charles     
,darwin--and that is ,henry ,ward       
,beecher--a man of more brains than the 
entire clergy of that entire church put 
together4  ,and yet we are told in this 
little creed that orthodox religion is  
about to conquer the world4  ,it will be
 driven to the wilds of ,africa4  ,it   

must go to some savage country2 it has  
lost its hold upon civilization1 and ,i 
tell you it is unfortunate to have a    
religion that cannot be accepted by the 
intellect of a nation4 ,it is           
unfortunate to have a religion against  
which every good and noble heart        
protests4  ,let us have a good one or   
none4  ,o6 my pity has been excited by  
seeing these ministers endeavor to warp 
and twist the passages of scripture to  
fit some demonstration in science4      
,these pious evasions6 ,these solemn    
pretenses6  ,when they are caught in one
 way they give a different meaning to   
the words and say the world was not made
 in seven days4  ,they say good         
whiles--epochs4  ,and in this same      
confession here of faith and creeds they
 believe the ,lord's day is holy--every 
seventh day4  ,suppose you lived near   
the north pole1 where the day is three  
months long4  ,then which day will you  
keep8  ,suppose you could get to the    
north pole1 you could prevent ,sunday   

from ever overtaking you4  ,you could   
walk around the other way faster than   
the world could revolve4 ,how would you 
keep ,sunday then8 ,suppose we ever     
invent any thing that can go #a1jjj     
miles an hour8 ,we can just chase       
,sunday clear around the globe4  ,is    
there anything that can be more         
perfectly absurd than that a space of   
time can be holy6  ,you might as well   
talk about a pious vacuum4 ,these pious 
evasions4  ,i heard the other night of  
an old man4  ,he was not very well      
educated1 you know1 and he got into the 
notion that he must have reading of the 
bible and have family worship2 and there
 was a bad boy in the family--a pretty  
smart boy--and they were reading the    
bible by course1 and in the fifteenth   
chapter of ,corinthians is this passage3
  ,behold1 brethren1 ,i show you a      
mystery2 we shall not all die1 but we   
shall be changed4 ,and this boy rubbed  
out the c in the changed4  ,so next     
night the old man got on his specs and  

got down his bible and said3  ,behold1  
brethren1 ,i show you a mystery2 we     
shall not all die1 but we shall be      
hanged4  ,the old lady said1 ,father1 ,i
 don't think it reads that way4 ,he     
says1 ,who is reading this8 ,yes1       
mother1 it says be hanged1 and1 more    
than that1 ,i see the sense of it4      
,pride is the besetting sin of the human
 heart1 and if there is anything        
calculated to take the pride out of a   
man it is hanging4  ,i keep going back  
to this book2 ,i keep going back to the 
miracles1 to the prophecies1 to the     
fables1 and people ask me1 if ,i take   
away the bible1 what are we going to do8
  ,how can we get along without the     
revelation that no one understands8     
,what are we going to do if we have no  
bible to quarrel about8  ,what are we to
 do without hell8  ,what are we going to
 do with our enemies8 ,what are we going
 to do with the people we love but don't
 like8 ,they tell me that there never   
would have been any civilization if it  

had not been for this bible4  ,um6  ,the
 ,jews had a bible2 the ,romans had not4
  ,which had the greater and the grander
 government8  ,let us be honest4  ,which
 of those nations produced the greatest 
poets1 the greatest soldiers1 the       
greatest orators1 the greatest          
statesmen1 the greatest sculptors8      
,rome had no bible4  ,god cared nothing 
for the ,roman ,empire4  ,he let the men
 come up by chance4 ,his time was taken 
up by the ,jewish people4 ,and yet ,rome
 conquered the world1 and even conquered
 ,god's chosen people4  ,the people that
 had the bible were defeated by the     
people who had not4  ,how was it        
possible for ,lucretius to get along    
without the bible8  ,how did the great  
and glorious of that empire8  ,and what 
shall we say of ,greece8  ,no bible4    
,compare ,athens with ,jerusalem4  ,from
 ,athens comes the beauty and           
intellectual grace of the world4        
,compare the mythology of ,greece with  
the mythology of ,judea4  ,one covering 

the earth with beauty1 and the other    
filling heaven with hatred and          
injustice4  ,the ,hindoos had no bible2 
they had been forsaken by the creator1  
and yet they became the greatest        
metaphysicians of the world4  ,egypt had
 no bible4  ,compare even ,egypt with   
,judea4  ,what are we to do without the 
bible8  ,what became of the ,jews who   
had no bible2 their temple was destroyed
 and their city was taken2 and1 as ,i   
said before1 they never found real      
prosperity until their ,god deserted    
them4  ,do without the bible8  ,now ,i  
come again to the new testament4  ,there
 are a few things in there1 ,i give you 
my word1 ,i cannot believe4  ,i         
cannot--,i cannot believe in the        
miraculous origin of ,jesus ,christ4  ,i
 believe ,he was the son of ,joseph and 
,mary2 that ,joseph and ,mary had been  
duly and legally married2 that ,he was  
the legitimate offspring of that        
marriage1 and nobody ever believed the  
contrary until ,he had been dead #aej   

years4 ,neither ,matthew1 ,mark nor     
,luke ever dreamed that ,he was of      
divine origin4  ,he did not say to      
either ,matthew1 ,mark or ,luke1 or to  
any one in their hearing1 that ,he was  
the son of ,god1 or that ,he was        
miraculously conceived4  ,he did not say
 it4  ,the angel ,gabriel1 who1 they    
say1 brought the news1 never wrote a    
word upon the subject4  ,his mother     
never wrote a word upon the subject4    
,his father never wrote a word upon the 
subject4  ,we are lacking in the matter 
of witnesses4  ,i would not believe it  
now6  ,i cannot believe it then4  ,i    
would not believe people ,i know1 much  
less would ,i believe people ,i don't   
know4 ,i say that at that time ,matthew1
 ,mark and ,luke believed that ,he was  
the son of ,joseph and ,mary4  ,and why8
  ,they say ,he descended from the blood
 of ,david1 and in order to show that   
,he was of the blood of ,david they gave
 the genealogy of ,joseph4  ,and if     
,joseph was not his father1 why not give

 the genealogy of ,pontius ,pilate or   
,herod8  ,could they1 by giving the     
genealogy of ,joseph1 show that ,he was 
of the blood of ,david if ,joseph was in
 no way related to ,david2 and yet that 
is the position into which the          
,christian world is now driven4  ,it    
says the son of ,joseph1 and then       
interpolated the words as was supposed4 
,why1 then1 do they give a supposed     
genealogy4  ,it will not do4  ,and that 
is a thing that cannot in any way1 by   
any human testimony1 be established2 and
 if it is important for us to know that 
,he was the ,son of ,god1 ,i say then   
that it devolves upon ,god to give us   
evidence4  ,let ,him write it across the
 face of the heavens1 in every language 
of mankind4  ,if it is necessary for us 
to believe it1 let it grow on every leaf
 next year4 ,no man should be damned for
 not believing unless the evidence is   
overwhelming4  ,and he ought not to be  
made to depend upon say-so4  ,he should 
have it directly for himself4  ,a man   

says ,god told him so and so1 and he    
tells me1 and ,i haven't anyone's word  
but that fellow's4  ,he may have been   
deceived4  ,if ,god has a message for me
 ,he ought to tell it to me1 and not    
somebody that has been dead #d1jjj or   
#e1jjj years1 and in another language2  
,god may have changed ,his mind on many 
things2 ,he has on slavery at least1 and
 polygamy2 and yet ,his church now wants
 to go out here and destroy polygamy in 
,utah with a sword4  ,why don't they    
send missionaries there with copies of  
the old testament8  ,by reading the     
lives of ,abraham1 and ,isaac1 and ,lot1
 and a few other fellows that ought to  
have been in the penitentiary1 they can 
soften their hearts4  ,now1 there is    
another miracle ,i do not believe4  ,i  
want to speak about it as we would about
 any ordinary transaction in the world4 
,in the first place1 ,i do not believe  
that any miracle was ever performed1 and
 if there was1 you can't prove it4      
,why8  ,because it is altogether more   

reasonable that the people lied about it
 than that it happened4  ,and why8      
,because1 according to human experience1
 we know that people will not always    
tell the truth1 and we never saw a      
miracle1 and we have got to be governed 
by our experience1 and if we go by our  
experience1 it is in favor that the     
thing never happened2 that the man is   
mistaken4  ,now1 ,i want you to remember
 it4  ,here is a man that comes into    
,jerusalem1 and the first thing he does 
he cures the blind4  ,he lets the light 
of day visit the darkness of blindness4 
,the eyes are opened and the whole world
 is again pictured upon the brain4      
,another man is clothed with leprosy4   
,he touches him1 and the disease falls  
from him1 and he stands pure1 and clean1
 and whole4  ,another man is deformed1  
wrinkled1 bent4 ,he touches him and     
throws upon him again the garment of    
youth4  ,a man is in his grave1 and ,he 
says1 ,come forth6 and he again walks in
 life1 feeling his heart throb and beat1

 and his blood going joyously through   
his veins4  ,they say that happened4  ,i
 don't know4  ,there is one wonderful   
thing about the dead people that were   
raised--we don't hear of them any more4 
,what became of them8  ,why1 if there   
was a man in this town that had been    
raised from the dead1 ,i would go to see
 him tonight4 ,i would say1 ,where were 
you when you got the notice to come     
back8  ,what kind of country is it8     
,what kind of opening there for a young 
man8  ,how did you like it8  ,but nobody
 ever paid the slightest attention to   
them there4  ,they didn't even excite   
interest when they died the second time4
 ,nobody said1 ,why1 that man isn't     
afraid4  ,he has been there4  ,not a    
word4 ,they pass away quietly4  ,you see
 ,i don't believe it4  ,there is        
something wrong somewhere about that    
business4 ,and then there is another    
trouble in my mind4  ,now1 you know ,i  
may suffer eternal punishment for all   
this4  ,here is a man that does all     

these things1 and thereupon they crucify
 ,him4  ,now1 then1 let us be honest4   
,suppose a man came into ,chicago and he
 should meet a funeral procession1 and  
he should say1 ,who is dead8 and they   
should say1 ,the son of a widow2 her    
only support1 and he should say to the  
procession1 ,halt6  ,and to the         
undertaker1 ,take out that coffin1      
unscrew that lid4  ,young man1 ,i say   
unto thee1 arise6 ,and the latter should
 step from the coffin1 and in one moment
 after hold his mother in his arms4     
,suppose he should go to your cemetery  
and should find some woman holding a    
little child in each hand1 while the    
tears fell upon a new-made grave1 and he
 should say to her1 ,who lies buried    
here8 and she should reply1 ,my husband1
 and he should say1 ,i say unto thee1 oh
 grave1 give up thy dead1 and the       
husband should rise and in a moment     
after have his lips upon his wife's1 and
 the little children with their arms    
around his neck4  ,suppose that it is   

so4  ,do you think that the people of   
,chicago would kill him8  ,do you think 
any one would wish to crucify him8  ,do 
you not rather believe that every one   
who had a loved one out in that cemetery
 would go to him1 even upon their knees1
 and beg him and implore him to give    
back their dead8  ,do you believe that  
any man was ever crucified who was the  
master of death8 ,let me tell you       
tonight if there shall ever appear on   
this earth the master1 the monarch of   
death1 all human knees will touch the   
earth2 he will not be crucified1 he will
 not be touched4  ,all the living who   
fear death2 all the living who have lost
 a loved one will stand and cling to    
him4  ,and yet we are told that this    
worker of miracles1 this worker of      
wonders1 this man who could clothe the  
dead in the throbbing flesh of life1 was
 crucified by the ,jewish people4  ,it  
was never dreamed that he did a miracle 
until #ajj years after he was dead4     
,there is another miracle ,i do not     

believe1 ,i cannot believe it1 and that 
is the resurrection4  ,and why8  ,if it 
was the fact1 if the dead got out of the
 grave1 why did ,he not show himself to 
his enemies8  ,why did ,he not again    
visit ,pontius ,pilate8  ,why did ,he   
not call upon ,caiaphas1 the high       
priest8  ,why did ,he not make another  
triumphal entry into ,jerusalem8  ,why  
did ,he not again enter the temple and  
dispute with the doctors8  ,why didn't  
,he say to the multitude3  ,here are the
 wounds in ,my feet1 and in ,my hands1  
and in ,my side4  ,i am the one you     
endeavored to kill1 but ,death is ,my   
slave4  ,why didn't ,he8  ,simply       
because the thing never happened4  ,i   
cannot believe it4  ,but recollect1 it  
makes no difference with its teachings4 
,they are exactly as good whether ,he   
wrought miracles or not4  ,twice two are
 four2 that needs no miracle4 ,twice two
 are five--a miracle would not help     
that4 ,christ's teachings are worth     
their effect upon the human race4 ,it   

makes no difference about miracle or    
about wonder1 but you must remember in  
that day every one believed in miracles4
  ,nobody had any standing as a teacher1
 a philosopher1 a governor1 or a king1  
about whom there was not a something    
miraculous4  ,the earth was then covered
 with the sons and daughters of the gods
 and goddesses4  ,that was believed in  
,greece1 in ,rome1 in ,egypt1 in        
,hindustan2 everybody1 nearly1 believed 
in such things4  ,then there is another 
miracle that ,i cannot believe in1 and  
that is the ascension--the bodily       
ascension of ,jesus ,christ4  ,where was
 ,he going8 ,since the telescope has    
been pointed at the stars1 where was ,he
 going8 ,the ,new ,jerusalem is not     
there4  ,the abode of the gods is not   
there4 ,where was ,he going8  ,which way
 did ,he go8  ,that depends upon the    
time of day that ,he left4  ,if ,he left
 in the night ,he went exactly the      
opposite way from what ,he would in the 
day4  ,who saw this miracle8 ,they say  

the disciples4  ,let us see what they   
say about it4  ,matthew did not think it
 was worth mentioning4  ,he doesn't     
speak of it at all4 ,on the contrary1 he
 says that the last words of ,christ    
were3  ,lo1 ,i am with you always1 even 
unto the end of the world4  ,that is    
what he says4  ,mark1 he saw it4  ,so1  
then1 after the ,lord had spoken unto   
them ,he was received up into heaven and
 sat on the right hand of ,god4  ,that  
is all he has to say about the most     
wonderful thing that ever blessed human 
vision--about a miracle great enough to 
have stuffed credulity to bursting2 and 
yet we have one poor1 little meagre     
verse4  ,so1 then1 after ,he had quit   
speaking1  ,he was caught up and sat on 
the right hand of ,god4  ,how does he   
know ,he was on the right hand8  ,did he
 see ,him after ,he had sat down8 ,luke 
says3  ,and it came to pass while ,he   
blessed them ,he was parted from them   
and was carried up into heaven4 ,but    
,john does not mention it4  ,he gives as

 ,his last words this address to ,peter3
  ,follow thou ,me4  ,of course ,he did 
not say that as ,he ascended4  ,in the  
,acts we have another account4  ,a      
conversation is given not spoken of in  
any of the others1 and we find there two
 men clad in white apparel1 who said3   
,men of ,galilee1 why stand ye here     
gazing up into heaven8  ,this same      
,jesus that was taken up into heaven    
shall so come in like manner as ye have 
seen ,him go up into ,heaven4 ,matthew  
didn't see that2 ,mark forgot it2 ,luke 
didn't think it was worth mentioning1   
and ,john didn't believe it2 and yet    
upon that evidence we are led to believe
 that the most miraculous of all        
miracles actually occurred4  ,i cannot  
believe it4  ,i may be mistaken2 but the
 church is now trying to parry1 and when
 they come to the little miracles of the
 new testament all they say is3 ,christ 
didn't cast out devils2 these men had   
fits4  ,he cured fits4 ,then ,i read in 
another place about the fits talking4   

,christ held a dialogue with the fits1  
and the fits told ,him his name1 and the
 fits at that time were in a crazy man4 
,and the fits made a contract that they 
would go out of the man provided they   
would be permitted to go into swine4    
,how can fits that attack a man take up 
a residence in swine8 ,the church must  
not give up the devil4  ,he is the right
 bower4  ,no devil1 no hell2 no hell1 no
 preacher2 no fire1 no insurance4  ,i   
read another miracle--that this devil   
took ,christ and put him on the pinnacle
 of a temple4  ,was that fits1 too8     
,why is not the theological world       
honest8  ,why do they not come up and   
admit what they know the book means8    
,they have not the courage4  ,now1 their
 next doctrine is the absolute necessity
 of belief4  ,that depends upon this3   
,can a man believe as he wants to8  ,can
 you8  ,can anybody8  ,does belief      
depend at all upon the evidence8  ,i    
think it does somewhat in some cases4   
,how is it that when a jury is sworn to 

try a case1 hearing all the             
evidence--hearing both sides1 hearing   
the charge of the judge1 hearing the    
law1 and upon their oaths1 are equally  
divided1 six for the plaintiff and six  
for the defendant8  ,it is because      
evidence does not have the same effect  
upon all people4  ,why8  ,our brains are
 not alike--not the same shape2 we have 
not the same intelligence or the same   
experience1 the same sense4  ,and yet ,i
 am held accountable for my belief4  ,i 
must believe in the ,trinity--three     
times one is one1 once one is three--and
 my soul is to be eternally damned for  
failing to guess an arithmetical        
conundrum4 ,and that is the poison part 
of ,christianity--that salvation depends
 upon belief--that is the poison part1  
and until that dogma is discarded       
religion will be nothing but            
superstition4  ,no man can control his  
belief4  ,if ,i hear certain evidence ,i
 will believe a certain thing4  ,if ,i  
fail to hear it ,i may never believe it4

  ,if it is adapted to my mind ,i may   
accept it2 if it is not1 ,i reject it4  
,and what am ,i to go by8  ,my brain4   
,that is the only light ,i have from    
nature1 and if there be a ,god1 it is   
the only torch that this ,god has given 
me by which to find my way through the  
darkness and the night called life4  ,i 
do not depend upon hearsay for that4  ,i
 do not have to take the word of any    
other man1 nor get upon my knees before 
a book4  ,here1 in the temple of the    
mind1 ,i go and consult the ,god--that  
is to say1 my reason--and the oracle    
speaks to me1 and ,i obey the oracle4   
,what should ,i obey8  ,another man's   
oracle8 ,shall ,i take another man's    
word and not what he thinks1 but what   
,god said to him8  ,i would not know a  
god if ,i should see one4  ,i have said 
before1 and ,i say again1 the brain     
thinks in spite of me1 and ,i am not    
responsible for my thought4  ,no more   
can ,i control the beating of my heart1 
the expansion and contraction of my     

lungs for a moment2 no more can ,i stop 
the blood that flows through the rivers 
of the veins4  ,and yet ,i am held      
responsible for my belief4  ,then why   
does not the ,god give me the evidence8 
,they say ,he has4  ,in what8  ,in an   
inspired book4  ,but ,i do not          
understand it as they do4  ,must ,i be  
false to my understanding8 ,they say3   
,when you come to die you will be sorry 
you did not4  ,will ,i be sorry when ,i 
come to die that ,i did not live a      
hypocrite8  ,will ,i be sorry ,i did not
 say ,i was a ,christian when ,i was    
not8  ,will the fact that ,i was honest 
put a thorn in the pillow of death8     
,god cannot forgive me for that4  ,they 
say when ,he was in ,jerusalem1 ,he     
forgave ,his murderers4  ,now ,he won't 
forgive an honest man for differing with
 ,him on the subject of the ,trinity4   
,they say that ,god says to me1 ,forgive
 your enemies4  ,i say1 ,all right1 ,i  
do2  but he says1 ,i will damn mine4    
,god should be consistent4 ,if ,he wants

 me to forgive my enemies1 ,he should   
forgive ,his4  ,i am asked to forgive   
enemies who can hurt me4 ,god is only   
asked to forgive enemies who cannot hurt
 ,him4  ,he certainly ought to be as    
generous as ,he asks us to be4  ,and ,i 
want no ,god to forgive me unless ,i do 
forgive others4  ,all ,i ask1 if that be
 true1 is that this ,god should live    
according to ,his own doctrine4  ,if ,i 
am to forgive my enemies ,i ask ,him to 
forgive ,his4  ,that is justice1 that is
 right4  ,here are these millions today 
who say3  ,we are to be saved by belief1
 by faith2 but what are we to believe8  
,in ,st4 ,louis last ,sunday ,i read an 
interview with a ,christian             
minister--one who is now holding a      
revival4  ,they call him the boy        
preacher--a name that he has borne for  
fifty or sixty years4 ,the question was 
whether in these revivals1 when they    
were trying to rescue souls from eternal
 torture1 they would allow colored      
people to occupy seats with white       

people1 and that revivalist1 preaching  
the unsearchable richness of ,christ1   
said he would not allow the colored     
people to sit with white people2 they   
must go to the back of the church4  ,the
 same people go and sit right next to   
them in heaven1 swap harps with them1   
and yet this man1 believing as he says  
he does1 that if he did not believe in  
the ,lord ,jesus ,christ he would       
eternally perish1 was not willing that  
the colored man should sit by a white   
man while he heard the gospel of        
everlasting peace4  ,he was not willing 
that the colored man should get into the
 lifeboat of ,christ1 although those    
white men might be totally depraved1 and
 if they had justice done them1         
according to his doctrine4 would be     
eternally damned--and yet he has the    
impudence to put on airs1 although he   
ought to be eternally damned1 and go and
 sit by the colored man4  ,his doctrine 
of religion1 the color line1 has not my 
respect4  ,i believe in the religion of 

humanity1 and it is far better to love  
our fellow-men than to love ,god1       
because we can help them1 and we cannot 
help ,him4  ,you had better do what you 
can than to be always pretending to do  
what you cannot4  ,now ,i come to the   
last part of the bible--this creed--and 
that is1 eternal punishment1 and ,i have
 concluded2 and ,i have said ,i will    
never deliver a lecture that ,i do not  
give the full benefit of its name4 ,that
 part of the ,congregational creed would
 disgrace the lowest savage that        
crouches and crawls in the jungles of   
,africa4  ,the man who now1 in the      
nineteenth century1 preaches the        
doctrine of eternal punishment1 the     
doctrine of eternal hell1 has lived in  
vain4  ,think of that doctrine6 ,the    
eternity of punishment6  ,why1 ,i find  
in that same creed that ,christ is      
finally going to triumph in this world  
and establish ,his kingdom2 but if their
 doctrine is true1 ,he will never       
triumph in the other world4 ,he will    

have billions in hell forever4  ,in this
 world we never will be perfectly       
civilized as long as a gallows casts its
 shadow upon the earth4  ,as long as    
there is a penitentiary1 behind the     
walls of which a human being is immured1
 we are not a civilized people4  ,we    
will never be perfectly civilized until 
we do away with crime and criminals4    
,and yet1 according to this ,christian  
religion1 ,god is to have an eternal    
penitentiary2 ,he is to be an           
everlasting jailor1 an everlasting      
turnkey1 a warden of an infinite        
dungeon1 and ,he is going to keep       
prisoners there1 not for the purpose of 
reforming them--because they are never  
going to get any better1 only getting   
worse--just for the purpose of punishing
 them4  ,and what for8  ,for something  
they did in this world2 born in         
ignorance1 educated it may be in        
poverty1 and yet responsible through the
 countless ages of eternity4  ,no man   
can think of a greater horror2 no man   

can think of a greater absurdity4 ,for  
the growth of that doctrine1 ignorance  
was soil and fear was rain4 ,that       
doctrine came from the fanged mouths of 
wild beasts1 and yet it is the glad     
tidings of great joy4  ,god so loved the
 world ,he is going to damn most        
everybody1 and1 if this ,christian      
religion be true1 some of the greatest1 
and grandest1 and best who ever lived   
upon this earth1 are suffering its      
torments tonight4  ,it don't appear to  
make much difference1 however1 with this
 church4  ,they go right on enjoying    
themselves as well as ever4  ,if their  
doctrine is true1 ,benjamin ,franklin1  
one of the wisest1 and best of men1 who 
did so much to give us here a free      
government1 is suffering the tyranny of 
,god tonight1 while he endeavored to    
establish freedom among men4  ,if the   
churches were honest1 their preachers   
would tell their hearts1 ,benjamin      
,franklin is in hell1 and we warn any   
and all the youth not to imitate        

,benjamin ,franklin4  ,thomas           
,jefferson1 the author of the           
,declaration of ,independence1 with its 
self-evident truths1 has been damned    
these many years4  ,that is what all the
 ministers ought to have the courage to 
say4  ,talk as you believe4 ,stand by   
your creed or change it4  ,i want to    
impress it upon your mind1 because the  
thing ,i wish to do in this world is to 
put out the fires of hell ,i want to    
keep at it just as long as there is one 
little coal red in the bottomless pit4  
,as long as the ashes are warm1 ,i shall
 denounce this infamous doctrine4  ,i   
want you to know that the men who       
founded this great and glorious         
government are there4  ,the most of the 
men who fought in the ,revolutionary    
,war and wrested from the clutch of     
,great ,britain this continent2 have    
been rewarded by the eternal wrath of   
,god4  ,the old ,revolutionary soldiers 
are in hell by the thousands4  ,let the 
preachers have the courage to say so4   

,the men who fought in #ahab1 and gave  
to the ,united ,states the freedom of   
the seas1 nearly all of them have been  
damned since #ahae--;all that were      
killed4  ,the greatest of heroes1 they  
are there4  ,the greatest of poets1 the 
greatest scientists1 the men who have   
made the world beautiful and grand1 they
 are all1 ,i tell you1 among the damned1
 if this creed is true4  ,humboldt1 who 
shed light1 and who added to the        
intellectual wealth of mankind1 ,goethe1
 and ,schiller1 and ,lessing1 who almost
 created the ,german language--all gone6
  ,all suffering the wrath of ,god      
tonight1 and every time an angel thinks 
of one of those men he gives his harp an
 extra twang4  ,la ,place1 who read the 
heaven like an open book--he is there4  
,robert ,burns1 the poet of human       
love--he is there because he wrote the  
,prayer of ,holy ,willie2  because he   
fastened upon the cross the             
,presbyterian creed1 and made a         
lingering crucifixion4 ,and yet that man

 added to the tenderness of human heart4
 ,dickens1 who put a shield of pity     
before the flesh of childhood ,god is   
getting even with him4  ,our own ,ralph 
,waldo ,emerson1 although he had a      
thousand opportunities to hear          
,methodist clergymen1 scorned the means 
of grace1 and the ,holy ,ghost is       
delighted that he is in hell tonight4   
,longfellow refined hundreds and        
thousands of homes1 but he did not      
believe in the miraculous origin of the 
,savior4  ,no1 sir2 he doubted the      
report of ,gabriel4  ,he loved his      
fellow-men2 he did what he could to free
 the slaves2 he did what he could to    
make mankind happy2 but ,god was just   
waiting for him4  ,he had ,his constable
 right there4  ,thomas ,paine1 the      
author of the ,rights of ,man1 offering 
his life in both hemispheres for the    
freedom of the human race1 and one of   
the founders of the ,republic--it has   
often seemed to me that if we could get 
,god's attention long enough to point   

,him to the ,american flag1 ,he would   
let him out4 ,compte1 the author of the 
,positive ,philosophy1 who loved his    
fellow-men to that degree that he made  
of humanity a ,god1 who wrote his great 
work in poverty1 with his face covered  
with tears--they are getting their      
revenge on him now4  ,voltaire1 who     
abolished torture in ,france2 who did   
more for human liberty than any other   
man1 living or dead2 who was the        
assassin of superstition1 and whose     
dagger still rusts in the heart of      
,catholicism--all the priests who have  
been translated have their happiness    
increased by looking at ,voltaire4      
,glorious country where the principal   
occupation is watching the miseries of  
the lost4  ,geordani ,bruno1 ,benedict  
,spinoza1 ,diderot1 the encyclopedist1  
who endeavored to get all knowledge in a
 small compass so that he could put the 
peasant on an equality with the prince  
intellectually2 the man who wished to   
sow all over the world the seeds of     

knowledge2 who loved to labor for       
mankind4 ,while the priests wanted to   
burn1 he did all he could to put out the
 fire--he has been lost long1 long ago4 
,his cry for water has1 become so common
 that his voice is now recognized       
through all the realms of hell1 and they
 say to one another1 ,that is ,diderot4 
,david ,hume1 the philosopher1 he is    
there with the rest4  ,beethoven1 the   
,shakespeare of music1 he has been lost1
 and ,wagner1 the master of melody1 and 
who has made the air of this world rich 
forever1 he is there1 and they have     
better music in hell than in heaven4    
,shelley1 whose soul1 like his own      
skylark1 was a winged joy--he has been  
damned for many1 many years2 and        
,shakespeare1 the greatest of the human 
race1 who has done more to elevate      
mankind than all the priests who ever   
lived and died--he is there2 and all the
 founders of ,inquisitions1 the builders
 of dungeons1 the makers of chains1 the 
inventors of instruments of torture1    

tearers1 and burners1 and branders of   
human flesh1 stealers of babes and      
sellers of husbands1 and wives1 and     
children1 the drawers of the swords1 of 
persecution1 and they who kept the      
horizon lurid with the fagot's flame for
 a thousand years--they are in heaven   
tonight4 ,well1 ,i wish heaven joy of   
such company4  ,and that is the doctrine
 with which we are polluting the souls  
of children4  ,that is the doctrine that
 puts a fiend by their dying bed and a  
prophesy of hell over every cradle4     
,that is glad tidings of great joy4     
,only a little while ago1 when the great
 flood came upon the ,ohio1 sent by him 
who is ruling in the world and paying   
particular attention to the affairs of  
nations1 just in the gray of the morning
 they saw a house floating down1 and on 
its top a human being2 and a few men    
went out to the rescue in a little boat1
 and they found there a mother1 a woman1
 and they wanted to rescue her1 and she 
said3  ,no1 ,i am going to stay where ,i

 am4  ,i have three dead babes in this  
house4 ,think of a love so limitless1   
stronger and deeper than despair and    
death1 and yet the ,christian religion  
says that if that woman did not happen  
to believe in their creed1 ,god would   
send that mother's soul to eternal fire4
  ,if there is another world1 and if in 
heaven they wear hats1 when such a woman
 climbs up the opposite bank of the     
,jordan1 ,christ should lift ,his to    
her4  ,that is the trouble ,i had with  
this ,christian religion--its infinite  
heartlessness2 and ,i cannot tell them  
too often that during our last war      
,christians who knew that if they were  
shot they would go right to heaven1 went
 and hired wicked men to take their     
places1 perfectly willing the men should
 go to hell1 provided they could stay at
 home4 ,you see they are not honest in  
it2 they do not believe it1 or1 as the  
people say1 ,they don't sense it2  they 
have not religion enough to conceive    
what it is they believe and what a      

terrific falsehood they assert4  ,and ,i
 beg of every one who hears me tonight1 
,i beg1 ,i implore1 ,i beseech you never
 give another dollar to build a church  
in which that lie is preached4  ,never  
give another cent to send a missionary  
with his mouth stuffed with that        
falsehood to a foreign land4  ,why1 they
 say1 the heathen will go to heaven     
anyway if you let them alone2 what is   
the use of sending them to hell by      
enlightening them4  ,let them alone4    
,the idea of going and telling a man a  
thing that if he does not believe he    
will be damned1 when the chances are ten
 to one that he won't believe it4 ,don't
 tell him1 and as quick as he gets to   
the other world and finds it necessary  
to believe1 he will say yes4  ,give him 
a chance4  ,my objection to the         
,christian religion is that it destroys 
human love1 and tells you and me that   
the love of your dear-ones is not       
necessary in this world to make a heaven
 in the next4  ,no matter about your    

wife1 your children1 your brother1 your 
sister--no matter about all the         
affections of the human heart--when you 
get there you will be alone with the    
angels4  ,i don't know whether ,i would 
like the angels4  ,i don't know whether 
the angels would like me4  ,i would     
rather stand by the folks who have loved
 me and whom ,i know2 and ,i can        
conceive of no heaven without the love  
of this earth4  ,that is the trouble    
with the ,christian religion2 leave your
 father1 leave your mother1 leave your  
wife1 leave your children1 leave        
everything and follow ,jesus ,christ4   
,i will not4 ,i will stay with the      
folks4  ,i will not sacrifice on the    
altar of a selfish fear all the grandest
 and noblest promptings of my heart4    
,you do away with human love1 and what  
are we without it8 ,what would we be in 
another world1 and what would we be here
 without it8 ,can any one conceive of   
music without human love8 ,human love   
builds every home--human love is the    

author of all the beauty in this world4 
,love paints every picture1 and chisels 
every statue2 love1 ,i tell you1 builds 
every fireside4  ,what would heaven be  
without love8  ,and yet that is what we 
are promised--a heaven with your wife   
lost1 your mother lost1 some of your    
children gone4  ,and you expect to be   
made happy by falling in with some      
angel4  ,such a religion is             
demoralizing2 and how are you to get    
there8 ,on the efforts of another4  ,you
 are to be perpetually a heavenly       
pauper1 and you will have to admit      
through all eternity that you never     
would have got here if you hadn't got   
frightened4  ,i am here1 you will say1  
,i have these wings1 ,i have this       
musical instrument1 because ,i was      
scared4 ,what a glorious world2 and then
 think of it6  ,no reformation in the   
next world--not the slightest4  ,if you 
die in ,arkansas that is the end of you4
  ,at the end you will be told that     
being born in ,arkansas you had a fair  

chance4  ,think of telling a boy in the 
next world1 who lived and died in       
,delaware1 that he had a fair show6     
,can anything be more infamous8  ,all on
 an equality--the rich and the poor1    
those with parents loving them1 those   
with every opportunity for education1 on
 an equality with the poor1 the abject1 
and the ignorant--and the little ray    
called life1 this little moment with a  
shadow and a tear1 this little space    
between your mother's arms and the      
grave1 that balances an entire eternity4
  ,and ,god can do nothing for you when 
you get there4  ,a little ,methodist    
preacher can do no more for the soul    
here than its creator can when you get  
there4  ,the soul goes to heaven1 where 
there is nothing but good society2 no   
bad examples2 and they are all there1   
,father1 ,son and ,holy ,ghost1 and yet 
they can do nothing for that poor       
unfortunate except to damn him4  ,is    
there any sense in that8  ,why should   
this be a period of probation8  ,it says

 in the bible1 ,i believe1 ,now is the  
accepted time4  ,when does that mean8   
,that means whenever the passage is     
pronounced4  ,now is the accepted time4 
,it will be the same tomorrow1 won't it8
  ,and just as appropriate then as      
today1 and if appropriate at any time1  
appropriate through all eternity4  ,what
 ,i say is this3  ,there is no          
world--there can be no world--in which  
every human being will not have an      
opportunity of doing right4  ,that is my
 objection to this ,christian religion1 
and if the love of earth is not the love
 of heaven1 if those who love us here   
are to be separated there1 then ,i want 
eternal sleep4  ,give me a good cold    
grave rather than the furnace of        
,jehovah's wrath4  ,gabriel1 don't blow6
 ,let me alone6  ,if1 when the grave    
bursts1 ,i am not to meet faces that    
have been my sunshine in this life1 let 
me sleep on4 ,rather than that the      
doctrine of endless punishment should be
 tried1 ,i would like to see the fabric 

of our civilization crumble and fall to 
unmeaning chaos and to formless dust1   
where oblivion broods and where even    
memory forgets4 ,i would rather a       
,samson of some unprisoned force1       
released by chance1 should so wreck and 
strain the mighty world that man in     
stress and strain of want and fear      
should shudderingly crawl back to savage
 and barbaric night4 ,i would rather    
that every planet would in its orbit    
wheel a barren star rather than that the
 ,christian religion should be true4  ,i
 think it is better to love your        
children than to love ,god1 a thousand  
times better1 because you can help them1
 and ,i am inclined to think that ,god  
can get along without you4  ,i believe  
in the religion of the family4 ,i       
believe that the roof-tree is sacred    
from the smallest fibre held in the     
soft1 moist clasp of the earth to the   
little blossom on the topmost bough that
 gives its fragrance to the happy air4  
,the family where virtue dwells with    

love is like a lily with a heart of     
fire--the fairest flower in all this    
world4  ,and ,i tell you ,god cannot    
afford to damn a man in the next world  
who has made a happy family in this4    
,god cannot afford to cast over the     
battlements of heaven the man who has   
built a happy home here4  ,god cannot   
afford to be unpitying to a human heart 
capable of pity4  ,god cannot clothe    
with fire the man who has clothed the   
naked here2 and ,god cannot send to     
eternal pain a man who has done         
something toward improving the condition
 of his fellow-man4 ,if he can1 ,i had  
rather go to hell than to heaven and    
keep the company of such a ,god4  ,they 
tell me the next terrible thing ,i do is
 to take away the hope of immortality4  
,i do not1 ,i would not1 ,i could not4  
,immortality was first dreamed of by    
human love1 and yet the church is going 
to take human love out of immortality4  
,we love it2 therefore we wish to love4 
,a loved ones dies1 and we wish to meet 

again1 and from the affection of the    
human heart grew the great oak of the   
hope of immortality4  ,and around that  
oak has climbed the poisonous vine1     
superstition4 ,theologians1 pretenders1 
soothsayers1 parsons1 priests1 popes1   
bishops1 have taken all that hope1 and  
they have had the impudence to stand by 
the grave and prophesy a future of pain4
  ,they have erected their toll-gates on
 the highway to the other world1 and    
have collected money from the poor      
people on the way1 and they have        
collected it from their fear4  ,the     
church did not give us the idea of      
immortality2 the bible did not give us  
the idea of immortality4 ,let me tell   
you now that the old testament tells you
 how you lost immortality2 it does not  
say another word about another world    
from the first mistake in ,genesis to   
the last curse in ,malachi4 ,there is   
not in the old testament one burial     
service4  ,no man in the old testament  
stands by the bed and says1 ,i will meet

 them again--not one word4  ,from the   
top of ,sinai came no hope of another   
world4  ,and when we get to the new     
testament1 what do we find there8  ,have
 thy heart counted worthy to obtain that
 world and the resurrection of the dead4
  ,as though some would be counted      
unworthy to obtain the resurrection of  
the dead4 ,and1 in another place3  ,seek
 for honor1 glory1 immortality4  ,if you
 have got it1 why seek for it8  ,and in 
another place3  ,god1 who alone hath    
immortality2  and yet they tell us that 
we get our ideas of immortality from the
 bible4  ,i deny it4 ,if ,christ was in 
fact ,god1 why didn't ,he plainly say   
there was another life8  ,why didn't ,he
 tell us something about it8  ,why      
didn't ,he turn the tear-stained hope of
 immortality into the glad knowledge of 
another life8  ,why did ,he go dumbly to
 his death1 and leave the world in      
darkness and in doubt8  ,why8  ,because 
,he was a man and didn't know4 ,i would 
not destroy the smallest star of human  

hope1 but ,i deny that we got our idea  
of immortality from the bible4  ,it     
existed long before ,moses existed4  ,we
 find it symbolized through all ,egypt1 
through all ,india4  ,wherever man has  
lived1 his religion has made another    
world in which to meet the lost4  ,it is
 not born of the bible4  ,the idea of   
immortality1 like the great sea1 has    
ebbed and flowed in the human heart1    
beating with its countless waves against
 the  rocks and sands of fate and time4 
,it was not born of the bible4  ,it was 
born of the human heart1 and it will    
continue to ebb and flow beneath the    
mists and clouds of doubt and darkness  
as long as love kisses the lips of      
death4 ,we do not know4  ,we do not     
prophesy a life of pain4  ,we leave the 
dead with nature1 the mother of us all1 
under a seven-hued bow of hope4 ,under  
the seven-hued arch let the dead sleep4 
,ah1 but you take the consolation of    
religion4  ,what consolation has        
religion for the widow of the           

unbeliever1 the widow of a good1 brave1 
kind man who lies dead8 ,what can the   
orthodox ministers say to relieve the   
bursting heart of that woman8  ,what can
 the orthodox ministers say to relieve  
the aching hearts of the little orphans 
as they kneel by the grave of that      
father1 if that father didn't happen to 
be an orthodox ,christian8 ,what        
consolation have they8  ,i find that    
when a ,christian loses a friend the    
tears spring from his eyes as quickly as
 from the eyes of others4 ,their tears  
are as bitter as ours4  ,why8  ,the echo
 of the promises spoken eighteen hundred
 years ago is so low1 and the sound of  
the clods upon the coffin so loud1 the  
promises are so far away1 and the dead  
are so near4  ,that is the reason4  ,and
 they find no consolation there4  ,i say
 honestly we do not know2 we cannot say4
  ,we cannot say whether death is a wall
 or a door2 the beginning or end of a   
day2 the spreading of pinions too soar  
or the folding forever of wings2 whether

 it is the rising or the setting of sun1
 or an endless life that brings rapture 
and love to every one--we do not know2  
we can not say4  ,there is an old fable 
of ,orpheus and ,eurydice3  ,eurydice   
had been captured and taken to the      
infernal regions1 and ,orpheus went     
after her1 taking with him his harp and 
playing as he went2 and when he came to 
the infernal regions he began to play1  
and ,sysiphus sat down upon the stone   
that he had been heaving up the side of 
the mountain so many years1 and which   
continually rolled back upon him4       
,ixion paused upon his wheel of fire2   
,tantalus ceased in his vain efforts for
 water2 the daughters of the ,danaidae  
left off trying to fill their sieves    
with water2 ,pluto smiled1 and for the  
first time in the history of hell the   
cheeks of the ,furies were wet with     
tears2 monsters relented and they said1 
,eurydice may go with you1 but you must 
not look back4  ,so he again threaded   
the caverns1 playing as he went1 and as 

he again reached the light he failed to 
hear the footsteps of ,eurydice1 and he 
looked back and in a moment she was     
gone4  ,this old fable gives to us the  
idea of the perpetual effort to rescue  
truth from the churches of monsters4    
,some time ,orpheus will not look back4 
,some day ,eurydice will reach the      
blessed light1 and at some time there   
will fade from the memory of men the    
superstition of religion4               
,ingersoll's ,lecture on ,blasphemy     
,ladies and ,gentlemen3  ,there is an   
old story of a missionary trying to     
convert an ,indian4  ,the ,indian made a
 little circle in the sand and said1    
,that is what the ,indian knows4  ,then 
he made another circle a little larger  
and said1 that is what missionary knows2
 but outside there the ,indian knows    
just as much as missionary4  ,i am going
 to talk mostly outside that circle     
tonight4  ,first1 what is the origin of 
the crime known as blasphemy8  ,it is   
the belief in a ,god who is cruel1      

revengeful1 quick tempered and          
capricious2 a ,god who punishes the     
innocent for the guilty2 a ,god who     
listens with delight to the shrieks of  
the tortured and gazes enraptured on    
their spurting blood4   ,you must hold  
this belief before you can believe in   
the doctrine of blasphemy4  ,you must   
believe that this ,god loves ceremonies1
 that this ,god knows certain men to    
whom ,he has told all ,his will4  ,it   
then follows that1 if this ,god loves   
ceremonies and has certain men to teach 
,his will and perform these ceremonies1 
these men must have a place to live in4 
,this place was called a temple1 and it 
was sacred4  ,and the pots and pans and 
kettles and all in it were sacred too4  
,no one but the priests must touch them4
 ,then the ,god wrote a book in which   
,he told ,his covenants to men1 and gave
 this book to priests to interpret4     
,while it was sacrilege to touch with   
the hands the pots and pans of the      
temple1 it was blasphemy to doubt or    

question anything in the book4  ,and    
then the right to think was gone1 and   
the right to use the brain that ,god had
 given was taken away1 and religion was 
entrenched behind that citadel called   
blasphemy4  ,god was a kind of juggler4 
,he did not wish man to be impudent or  
curious about how ,he did things4  ,you 
must sit in audience and watch the      
tricks and ask no questions4  ,in front 
of every fact ,he has hung the          
impenetrable curtain of blasphemy4      
,now1 then1 all the little reason that  
poor man had is useless4  ,to say       
anything against the priest was         
blasphemy and to say anything against   
,god was blasphemy--to ask a question   
was blasphemy4  ,finally we sank to the 
level of fetishism4  ,we began to       
worship inanimate things4 ,if you will  
read your bible you will find that the  
,jews had a sacred box4  ,in it were the
 rod of ,aaron and a piece of manna and 
the tables of stone4  ,to touch this box
 was a crime4 ,you remember that one    

time when a careless ,jew thought the   
box was going to tip he held it4  ,god  
killed him4  ,what a warning to baggage 
smashers of the present day4  ,we find  
also that ,god concocted a hair oil and 
threatened death to any one who imitated
 it4  ,and we see that ,he also made a  
certain perfume and it was death to make
 anything that smelt like it4  ,it seems
 to me this is carrying protection too  
far4  ,it always has been blasphemy to  
say  ,i do not know whether ,god exists 
or not4  ,in all ,catholic countries it 
is blasphemy to doubt the bible1 to     
doubt the sacredness of the relics4  ,it
 always has been blasphemy to laugh at a
 priest1 to ask questions1 to           
investigate the ,trinity4  ,in a world  
of superstition1 reason is blasphemy4   
,in a world of ignorance1 facts are     
blasphemy4  ,in a world of cruelty1     
sympathy is a crime1 and in a world of  
lies1 truth is blasphemy4  ,who are the 
real blasphemers8  ,webster offers the  
definition2 blasphemy is an insult      

offered to ,god by attributing to ,him a
 nature and qualities differing from    
,his real nature and qualities1 and     
dishonoring ,him4  ,a very good         
definition1 if you only know what ,his  
nature and qualities are4 ,but that is  
not revealed2 for1 studying ,him through
 the medium of the bible1 we find ,him  
illimitably contradictory4 ,he commands 
us not to work on the ,sabbath day1     
because it is holy4  ,yet ,god works    
himself on the ,sabbath day4  ,the sun1 
moon and stars swing round in their     
orbits1 and all the creation attributed 
to this ,god goes on as on other days4  
,he says3  ,honor thy father and mother1
 and yet this ,god1 in the person of    
,christ1 offered honors1 and glory1 and 
happiness a hundred fold to any who     
would desert their father and mother for
 ,him4  ,thou shalt not kill1 yet ,god  
killed the first-born of ,egypt1 and he 
commanded ,joshua to kill all ,his      
enemies1 not sparing old or young1 man1 
woman or child1 even an unborn child4   

,thou shalt not commit adultery1 he     
says1 and yet this ,god gave the wives  
of defeated enemies to ,his soldiers of 
,joshua's army4  ,then again ,he says1  
,thou shalt not steal4  ,by this command
 ,he protected the inanimate property   
and the cattle of one man against the   
hand of another1 and yet this ,god who  
said ,thou shalt not steal1 established 
human slavery4  ,the products of        
industry were not to be interfered with1
 but the producer might be stolen as    
often as possible4 ,thou shalt not bear 
false witness against thy neighbor4     
,and yet the ,god who said this said    
also1 ,i have sent lying spirits unto   
,ahab4  ,the only commandment ,he really
 kept was1 ,thou shalt have none other  
gods but ,me4  ,is it blasphemous to    
describe this ,god as malicious8  ,you  
know that laughter is a good index of   
the character of a man4  ,you like and  
rejoice with the man whose laugh is free
 and joyous and full of good will4  ,you
 fear and dislike him of the sneering   

laugh4  ,how does ,god laugh8  ,he says1
 ,i will laugh at their calamity and    
mock at their misfortune1 speaking of   
some who have sinned4  ,think of the    
malice and malignity of that in an      
infinite ,god when speaking of the      
sufferings ,he is going to impose upon  
,his children4  ,you know that it is    
said of a ,roman emperor that he wrote  
laws very finely1 and posted them so    
high on the walls that no one could read
 them1 and then he punished the people  
who disobeyed the laws4  ,that is the   
acme of tyranny3  to provide a          
punishment for breach of laws the       
existence of which were unknown4  ,now  
we all know that there is sin against   
the ,holy ,ghost which will not be      
forgiven in this world nor in the world 
to come4 ,hundreds of thousands of      
people have been driven to the lunatic  
asylum by the thought that they had     
committed this unpardonable sin4        
,every educated minister knows that that
 part of the bible is an interpolation1 

but they all preach it4  ,what that sin 
against the ,holy ,ghost is1 is not     
specified4 ,i say1 ,oh1 but my good     
,god1 tell me what this sin is4  ,and   
,he answers1 ,maybe now asking is the   
crime4  ,keep quiet4  ,so ,i keep quiet 
and go about tortured with the fear that
 ,i have committed that sin4  ,is it    
blasphemy to describe ,god as needing   
assistance from the ,legislature8       
,calling for the aid of a mob to enforce
 ,his will here1 compare that ,god with 
a man1 even with ,henry ,bergh4 ,see    
what ,mr4 ,bergh has done to awaken pity
 in our people and call sympathy to the 
rescue of suffering animals4 ,and yet   
our ,god was a torturer of dumb brutes4 
,it is blasphemy to say that our ,god   
sent the famine and dried the mother's  
breast from her infant's withered lips8 
,is it blasphemy to say that ,he is the 
author of the pestilence2 that ,he      
ordered some of ,his children to consume
 others with fire and sword8  ,is it    
blasphemy to believe what we read in the

 #ajith ,psalm8  ,if these things are   
not blasphemy1 then there is no         
blasphemy4  ,if there be a ,god ,i      
desire ,him to write in the book of     
judgment opposite my name that ,i denied
 these lies for ,him4  ,let us take     
another step2 let us examine the        
,presbyterian confession of faith4  ,if 
it be possible to commit blasphemy1 then
 ,i contend that the ,presbyterian creed
 is most blasphemous1 for1 according to 
that1 ,god is a cruel1 unrelenting1     
revengeful1 malignant and utterly       
unreasonable tyrant4  ,i propose now to 
pay a little attention to the creed4    
,first1 it confesses that there is such 
a thing as a light of nature4  ,it is   
sufficient to make man inexcusable1 but 
not sufficient for salvation2 just light
 enough to lead man to hell4  ,now      
imagine a man who will put a false light
 on a hilltop to lure a ship to         
destruction4  ,what would we say of that
 man8  ,what can we say of a ,god who   
gives this false light of nature which1 

if its lessons are followed1 results in 
hell8 ,that is the ,presbyterian ,god4  
,i don't like ,him4  ,now it occurred to
 ,god that the light of nature was      
somewhat weak1 and ,he thought ,he'd    
light another burner4 ,therefore ,he    
made ,his book and gave it to ,his      
servants1 the priests1 that they might  
give it to men4  ,it was to be accepted1
 not on the authority of ,moses1 or any 
other writer1 but because it was the    
word of ,god4  ,how do you know it's the
 word of ,god8 ,you're not to take the  
word of ,moses1 or ,david1 or ,jeremiah1
 or ,isaiah1 or any other man1 because  
the authenticity of their work has      
nothing to do with the matter2 this     
creed expressly lets them out4  ,how are
 you to know that it is ,god's word8    
,because it is ,god's word4  ,why is it 
,god's word8 ,what proof have we that it
 is ,god's word8  ,because it is ,god's 
word4  ,now1 then1 ,i find that the next
 thing in this wonderful confession of  
faith of the ,presbyterians is the      

decree of predestination4  ,reads the   
decree4  ,i am pleased to assure you    
that it is not necessary to understand  
this4  ,you have only to believe it4    
,you see that by the decree of ,god some
 men and angels are predestinated to    
heaven and others to eternal hell1 and  
you observe that their number is so     
certain and definite that it can neither
 be changed nor altered4  ,you are asked
 to believe that billions of years ago  
this ,god knew the names of all the men 
and women whom ,he was going to save4   
,had 'em in ,his book1 that being the   
only thing except ,himself that then    
existed4  ,he had chosen the names by   
the aid of the secret council4  ,the    
reason they called it secret was because
 they knew all about it4  ,in making    
,his choice1 ,god was not at all        
bigoted4  ,he did not choose ,john      
,smith because ,he foresaw that ,smith  
was to be a ,presbyterian1 and was to   
possess a loving nature1 was to be      
honest and true and noble in all his    

ways1 doing good himself and encouraging
 others in the same4 ,oh1 no6  ,he was  
quite as likely to pick ,brown1 in spite
 of the fact that ,he knew long before  
that ,brown would be a wicked wretch4   
,you see ,he was just as apt to send    
,smith to the devil and take ,brown to  
heaven--and all for ,his glory4  ,this  
,god also blinds and hardens--ah6 he's a
 peculiar ,god4  ,if sinners persevere1 
,he will blind and harden and give them 
over at last to their own wickedness    
instead of trying to reclaim and save   
them4  ,now we come to the comforting   
doctrine of the total depravity of man1 
and this leads us to consider how he    
came that way4  ,can any person read the
 first chapters of ,genesis and believe 
them unless his logic was assassinated  
in the cradle8  ,we read that our first 
parents were placed in a pleasant       
garden2 that they were given the full   
run of the place and only forbidden to  
meddle with the orchard2 that they were 
tempted as ,god knew they were to be    

tempted2 that they fell as ,god knew    
they would fall1 and that for this fall1
 which ,he knew would happen before ,he 
made them1 ,he fixed the curse of       
original sin upon them1 to be continued 
to all their children4  ,why didn't ,he 
stop right there8 ,why didn't ,he kill  
,adam and ,eve and make another pair who
 didn't like apples8 ,then when ,he     
brought ,his flood why did ,he rescue   
eight people if their descendants were  
to be so totally depraved and wicked8   
,why didn't ,he have ,his flood first1  
and then drown the devil8  ,that would  
have solved the problem1 and ,he could  
then have tried experiments unmolested4 
,the ,presbyterian confession says this 
corruption was in all men4 ,it was born 
with them1 it lived through their life1 
and after death survived in the         
children4  ,well1 can't man help        
himself8 ,no1 ,i'll show you1 ,god's got
 him4  ,listen to this4  ,reads         
extracts4  ,so that a natural man is not
 only dead in sin and unable to         

accomplish salvation1 but he is also    
incapable of preparing himself          
therefore4  ,absolutely incapable of    
taking a trick4  ,he is saved1 if at    
all1 completely by the mercy of ,god4   
,if that's the case1 then why doesn't   
,he convert us all8  ,oh1 ,he doesn't4  
,he wishes to send the most of us to    
hell--to show ,his justice4 ,elect      
infants dying in infancy are regenerate4
  ,so also are all persons incapable of 
unbelief4  ,that includes insane persons
 and idiots1 because an idiot is        
incapable of unbelief4 ,idiots are the  
only fellows who've got the dead wood on
 ,god4 ,then according to this1 the man 
who has lived according to the light of 
nature1 doing the best he knew how to   
make this earth happy1 will be damned by
 ,god because he never heard of ,his    
son4 ,whose fault is it that an infinite
 ,god does not advertise8 ,something    
wrong about that4  ,i am inclined to    
think that the ,presbyterian church is  
wrong4  ,i find here how utterly        

unpardonable sin is4  ,there is no sin  
so small but it is punished with hell1  
and away you go straight to the deepest 
burning pit unless your heart has been  
purified by this confession of          
faith--unless this snake has crawled in 
there and made itself a nest4 ,why      
should we help religion8  ,i would like 
people to ask themselves that question4 
,an infinite ,god1 by practicing a      
reasonable economy1 can get along       
without assistance4 ,loudly this        
confession proclaims that salvation     
comes from ,christ alone4 ,what1 then1  
becomes of the savage who1 having never 
known the name of ,christ1 has lived    
according to the light of nature1 kind  
and heroic and generous1 and possessed  
of and cultivating all the natural      
virtues8  ,he goes to hell4  ,god1 you  
see1 loves us4  ,if ,he had not loved us
 what would ,he have done8  ,the light  
of nature then shows that ,god is good  
and therefore to be feared--on account  
of his goodness1 to be served and       

honored without ceasing4  ,and yet this 
creed says that on the last day ,god    
will damn anyone who has walked         
according to this light4  ,it's         
blasphemy to walk by the light of       
nature4  ,the next great doctrine is on 
the preservation of the saints4 ,now1   
there are peculiarities about saints4   
,they are saints without their own      
knowledge or free will2 they may even be
 down on saints1 but its no good4  ,god 
has got a rolling hitch on them1 and    
they have to come into the kingdom      
sooner or later4  ,it all depends on    
whether they have been elected or not4  
,god could have made me a saint just as 
easy as not1 but ,he passed me by4  ,now
 you know the ,presbyterians say ,i     
trample on holy things4  ,they believe  
in hell and ,i come and say there is no 
hell4 ,i hurt their hearts1 they say1   
and they add that ,i am going to hell   
myself4  ,i thank them for that2 but now
 let's see what these tender            
,presbyterians say of other churches4   

,here it is3  ,this confession of faith 
calls the pope of ,rome anti-,christ and
 a son of perdition4  ,now there are    
forty ,roman ,catholics to one          
,presbyterian on this earth4  ,do not   
the ,presbyterians rather trample on the
 things that are holy to the ,roman     
,catholics1 and do they respect their   
feelings8 ,but the ,presbyterians have a
 pope themselves1 composed of the       
presbyters and preachers4  ,this        
confession attributes to them the keys  
of heaven and hell and the power to     
forgive sins4  ,here extracts are read4 
,therefore these men must be infallible1
 for ,god would never be so foolish as  
to entrust fallible men with the keys of
 heaven and hell4 ,i care nothing for   
their keys1 nor for any world these keys
 would open or lock2 ,i prefer the      
country4  ,we are told by this faith    
that at the last day all the men and    
women and children who have ever lived  
on the earth will appear in the self    
same bodies they have had when on earth4

  ,everyone who knows anything knows the
 constant exchange which is going on    
between the vegetable and animal        
kingdom4  ,the millions of atoms which  
compose one of our bodies have all come 
from animals and vegetables1 and they in
 their turn drew them from animals and  
vegetables which preceded them4  ,the   
same atoms which are now in our bodies  
have previously been in the bodies of   
our ancestors4 ,the negro from ,central 
,africa has many times been mahogany and
 the mahogany has many times been negro4
  ,a missionary goes to the cannibal    
islands and a cannibal eats him and     
dies4  ,the atoms which composed the    
missionary's body now compose in great  
part the cannibal's body4  ,to whom will
 these atoms belong on the morning of   
the resurrection8  ,how did the devil1  
who had always lived in heaven among the
 best society1 ever happen to become    
bad8  ,if a man surrounded by angels    
could become bad1 why cannot a man      
surrounded by devils become good8  ,here

 is the last ,presbyterian joy3  ,at the
 day of judgment the righteous shall be 
caught up to heaven and shall stand at  
the right hand of ,christ and share with
 ,him in judging the wicked4 ,then the  
,presbyterian husband may have the      
ineffable pleasure of judging his wife  
and condemning her to eternal hell1 and 
the boy will say to his mother1 echoing 
the command of ,god3  ,depart1 thou     
accursed1 into everlasting torment6     
,here will come a man who has not       
believed in ,god4  ,he was a soldier who
 took up arms to free the slaves and who
 rotted to death in ,andersonville      
prison rather than accept the offer of  
his captors to fight against freedom4   
,he loved his wife and his children and 
his ,home and his native country and all
 mankind1 and did all the good he knew4 
,god will say to the ,presbyterians1    
,what shall ,we do to this man82 and    
they will answer1 ,throw him into hell4 
,last night there was a fire in         
,philadelphia1 and at a window fifty    

feet above the ground ,mr4 ,king stood  
amid flame and smoke and pressed his    
children to his breast one after the    
other1 kissed them1 and threw them to   
the rescuers with a prayer4  ,that was  
man4  ,at the last day ,god takes ,his  
children with a curse and hurls them    
into eternal fire4 ,that's your ,god as 
the ,presbyterians describe ,him4  ,do  
you believe that ,god--if there is      
one--will ever damn me for thinking ,him
 better than ,he is8 ,if this creed be  
true1 ,god is the insane keeper of a mad
 house4  ,we have in this city a        
clergyman who contends that this creed  
gives a correct picture of ,god1 and    
furthermore says that ,god has the right
 to do with us what ,he pleases--because
 ,he made us4  ,if ,i could change this 
lamp into a human being1 that would not 
give me the right to torture him1 and if
 ,i did torture him and he cried out1   
,why torturest thou me8 and ,i replied1 
,because ,i made you1 he would be right 
in replying1 ,you made me1 therefore you

 are responsible for my happiness4  ,no 
,god has a right to add to the sum of   
human misery4  ,and yet this minister   
believes an honest thought blasphemy4   
,no doubt he is perfectly honest4       
,otherwise he would have too much       
intellectual pride to take the position 
he does4 ,he says that the bible offers 
the only restraint to the savage        
passions of man4  ,in lands where there 
has been no bible there have been mild  
and beneficent philosophers1 like       
,buddha and ,confucius4  ,is it possible
 that the bible is the only restraint1  
and yet the nations among whom these men
 lived have been as moral as we8  ,in   
,brooklyn and ,new ,york you have the   
bible1 yet do you find that the         
restraint is a great success8  ,is there
 a city on the globe which lacks more in
 certain directions than some in        
,christendom1 or even the ,united       
,states8  ,what are the natural virtues 
of man8  ,honesty1 hospitality1 mercy in
 the hour of victory1 generosity--do we 

not find these virtues among some       
savages8  ,do we find them among all    
,christians8  ,i am also told by these  
gentlemen that the time will come when  
the infidel will be silenced by society4
  ,why that time came long ago4         
,society gave the hemlock to ,socrates1 
society in ,jerusalem cried out for     
,barabbas and crucified ,jesus4  ,in    
every ,christian country society has    
endeavored to crush the infidel4        
,blasphemy is a padlock which hypocrisy 
tries to put on the lips of all honest  
men4  ,at one time ,christianity        
succeeded in silencing the infidel1 and 
then came the dark ages1 when all rule  
was ecclesiastical1 when the air was    
filled with devils and spooks1 when     
birth was a misfortune1 life a prolonged
 misery of fear and torment1 and death a
 horrible nightmare4  ,they crushed the 
infidels1 ,galileo1 ,kepler1            
,copernicus1 wherever a ray of light    
appeared in the ecclesiastical darkness4
  ,but ,i want to tell this minister    

tonight1 and all others like him1 that  
that day is passed4  ,all the churches  
in the ,united ,states can not even     
crush me4  ,the day for that has gone1  
never to return4  ,if they think they   
can crush free thought in this country1 
let them try it4 ,what must this        
minister think of you and the citizens  
of this republic when he says1 ,take the
 fear of hell out of men's hearts and a 
majority of them will become            
ungovernably wicked4 ,oh1 think of an   
angel in heaven having to allow that he 
was scared there4  ,this minister calls 
for my arrest4  ,he thinks his ,god     
needs help1 and would like to see the   
police crush the infidel4  ,i would     
advise ,mr4 ,talmage 7hisses7 to furnish
 his ,god with a rattle1 so that when he
 is in danger again he can summon the   
police immediately4  ,i'll tell you what
 is blasphemy4  ,it is blasphemy to live
 on the fruits of other men's labor1 to 
prevent the growth of the human mind1 to
 persecute for opinion's sake1 to abuse 

your wife and children1 to increase in  
any manner the sum of human misery4     
,i'll tell you what is sacred4  ,our    
bodies are sacred1 our rights are       
sacred1 justice and liberty are sacred4 
,i'll tell you what is the true bible4  
,it is the sum of all actual knowledge  
of man1 and every man who discovers a   
new fact adds a new verse to this bible4
  ,it is different from the other bible1
 because that is the sum of all that its
 writers and readers do not know4       
,ingersoll's ,lecture entitled ,some    
,reasons ,why    ,ladies and ,gentlemen3
  ,the history of the world shows that  
religion has made enemies instead of    
friends4 ,that one word religion paints 
the horizon of the past with every form 
of agony and torture1 and when one      
pronounces the name of religion we think
 of #a1ejj years of persecution1 of     
#f1jjj years of hatred1 slander and     
vituperation4 ,strange1 but true1 that  
those who have loved ,god most have     
loved men least2 strange that in        

countries where there has been the most 
religion there has been the most agony2 
and that is one reason why ,i am opposed
 to what is known as religion4  ,by     
religion ,i mean the duties that men are
 supposed to owe to ,god2 by religion ,i
 mean1 not what man owes to man1 but    
what we owe to some invisible1 infinite 
and supreme being4 ,the question arises1
 ,can any relation exist between finite 
man and infinite being8  ,an infinite   
being is absolutely conditional4  ,an   
infinite being can not walk1 cannot     
receive1 and a finite being cannot give 
to the infinite4  ,can ,i increase his  
happiness or decrease his misery8  ,does
 he need my strength or my life8  ,what 
can ,i do for him8 ,i say1 nothing4     
,for one1 ,i do not believe there is any
 ,god who gives rain or sunshine for    
praying4  ,for one1 ,i do not believe   
there is any being who helps man simply 
because he kneels4  ,i may be mistaken1 
but that is my doctrine--that the finite
 cannot by any possibility help the     

infinite1 or the infinite be indebted to
 the finite2 that the finite cannot by  
any possibility assist a being who is   
all in all4  ,what can we do8  ,we can  
help man2 we can help clothe the naked1 
feed the hungry2 we can help break the  
chains of the slave2 we can help weave a
 garment of joy that will finally cover 
this world4  ,that is all that man can  
do4 ,wherever he has endeavored to do   
more he has simply increased the misery 
of his fellows4  ,i can find out nothing
 of these things myself by my unaided   
reasoning4  ,if there is an infinite    
,god and ,i have not reason enough to   
comprehend ,his universe1 whose fault is
 it8  ,i am told that we have the       
inspired will of ,god4  ,i do not know  
exactly what they mean by inspired4 ,not
 two sects agree on that word4  ,some   
tell me that every great work is        
inspired2 that ,shakespeare is inspired4
  ,i would be less apt to dispute that  
than a similar remark about any other   
book on this earth4 ,if ,jehovah had    

wanted to have a book written1 the      
inspiration of which should not be      
disputed1 ,he should have waited until  
,shakespeare lived4  ,whatever they mean
 by inspiration1 they at least mean that
 it is true4 ,if it is true1 it does not
 need to be inspired4  ,the truth will  
take care of itself4  ,nothing except a 
falsehood needs inspiration4  ,what is  
inspiration8  ,a man looks at the sea1  
and the sea says something to him4      
,another man looks at the same sea1 and 
the sea tells another story to him4     
,the sea cannot tell the same story to  
any two human beings4 ,there is not a   
thing in nature1 from a pebble to a     
constellation1 that tells the same story
 to any two human beings4  ,it depends  
upon the man's experience1 his          
intellectual development1 and what chord
 of memory it touches4  ,one looks upon 
the sea and is filled with grief2       
another looks upon it and laughs4  ,last
 year1 riding in the cars from ,boston  
to ,portsmouth1 sat opposite me a lady  

and gentleman4  ,as we reached the      
latter place the woman1 for the first   
time in her life1 caught a burst of the 
sea1 and she looked and said to her     
husband ,isn't that beautiful6  ,and he 
looked and said3 ,i'll bet you can dig  
clams right there4  ,another            
illustration3  ,a little while ago a    
gentleman was walking with another in   
,south ,carolina1 at ,charleston--one   
who had been upon the other side4  ,said
 the ,northerner to the ,southerner1    
,did you ever see such a night as this2 
did you ever in your life see such a    
moon8  ,oh1 my ,god1 said he1 you ought 
to have seen that moon before the ,war6 
,i simply say these things to convince  
you that everything in nature has a     
different story to tell every human     
being4  ,so the bible tells a different 
story to every man that reads it4       
,history proves what ,i say4 ,why so    
many sects8  ,why so much persecution8  
,simply because two people couldn't     
understand it exactly alike4  ,you may  

reply that ,god intended it should be so
 understood1 and that is the real       
revelation that ,god intended4  ,for    
instance1 ,i write a letter to ,smith4  
,i want to convey to him certain        
thoughts4  ,if ,i am honest ,i will use 
the words which will convey to him my   
thoughts1 but not being infinite1 ,i    
don't know exactly how ,smith will      
understand my words2 but if ,i were     
infinite ,i would be bound to use the   
words that ,i know ,smith would get my  
exact idea from4 ,if ,god intended to   
make a revelation to me ,he has to make 
it to me through my brain and my        
reasoning4  ,he cannot make a revelation
 to another man for me4 ,that other man 
will have ,god's word for it but ,i will
 only have that man's word for it4  ,as 
that man has been dead for several      
thousand years1 and as ,i don't know    
what his reputation was for truth and   
veracity in the neighborhood in which he
 lived1 ,i will wait for the ,lord to   
speak again4  ,suppose when ,i read it1 

the revelation to me1 through the bible1
 is that it is not true1 and ,god knew  
that ,i would know that when ,i did read
 it1 and knew1 if ,i did not say it1 ,i 
would be dishonest4  ,is it possible    
that ,he would damn me for being honest1
 and give me wings if ,i would play the 
hypocrite8  ,the inspiration of the     
bible depends upon the ignorance of the 
gentleman who reads it4  ,yet they tell 
me this book was written by the creator 
of every shining star4  ,now let us see4
  ,i want to be honest and candid4  ,i  
have just as much at stake in the way of
 soul as any doctor of divinity that    
ever lived1 and more than some ,i have  
met4 ,according to this book1 the first 
attempt at peopling this world was a    
failure4  ,god had to destroy all but   
eight4  ,he saved some of the same kind 
to start again1 which ,i think was a    
mistake4  ,after that1 the people still 
getting worse1 he selected from the wide
 world a few of the tribe of ,abraham4  
,he had no time to waste with everybody4

  ,he had no time to throw away on      
,egypt4  ,it had at that time a vast and
 splendid civilization1 in which there  
were free schools2 in which the one man 
married the one wife2 where there were  
courts of law2 where there were codes of
 laws4  ,neither could ,he give         
attention to ,india1 that had at that   
time a literature as splendid almost as 
ours1 a language as perfect2 that had   
produced poets1 philosophers1 statesmen4
  ,he had no time to waste with them1   
but took a few of the tribe of ,abraham1
 and ,he did ,his best to civilize these
 people4  ,he was their governor1 their 
executive1 their supreme court4  ,he    
established a despotism1 and from ,mount
 ,sinai ,he proclaimed ,his laws4  ,they
 didn't pay much attention to them4  ,he
 wrought thousands of miracles to       
convince them that ,he was ,god4  ,isn't
 it perfectly wonderful that the priest 
of one religion never believes the      
miracles told by the priest of another8 
,is it possible that they know each     

other8  ,i heard a story the other day4 
,a gentleman was telling a very         
remarkable circumstance that happened to
 himself1 and all the listeners except  
one said1 ,is it possible2 did you ever 
hear such a wonderful thing in all your 
life8  ,they noticed that this one man  
didn't appear to take a vivid interest  
in the story1 so one said to him1 ,you  
don't express much astonishment at the  
story8  ,no1 says he1 ,i am a liar      
myself4  ,i find by reading this book   
that a worse government was never       
established than that established by    
,jehovah2 that the ,jews were the most  
unfortunate people who lived upon the   
globe4  ,let us compare this book4  ,in 
all civilized countries it is not only  
admitted1 but passionately asserted1    
that slavery is an infamous crime2 that 
a war of extermination is murder2 that  
polygamy enslaves woman1 degrades man   
and destroys home2 that nothing is more 
infamous than the slaughter of decrepit 
men and helpless women1 and of prattling

 babes2 that the captured maiden should 
not be given to her captors2 that wives 
should not be stoned to death for       
differing in religion from their        
husbands4 ,we know there was a time in  
the history of most nations when all    
these crimes were regarded as divine    
institutions4  ,nations entertaining    
these views today are called savage1 and
 with the exception of the ,feejee      
islanders1 some tribes in ,central      
,africa1 and a few citizens of          
,delaware1 no human being can be found  
degraded enough to agree upon those     
subjects with ,jehovah4  ,today1 the    
fact that a nation has abolished and    
abandoned those things is the only      
evidence that it can offer to show that 
it is not still barbarous2 but a        
believer in the inspiration of the bible
 is compelled to say there was a time   
when slavery was right1 when polygamy   
was the highest form of virtue1 when    
wars of extermination were waged with   
the sword of mercy1 and when the creator

 of the whole world commanded the       
soldier to sheathe the dagger of murder 
in the dimpled breast of infancy4  ,the 
believer of inspiration of the bible is 
compelled to say there was a time when  
it was right for a husband to murder his
 wife because they differed upon        
subjects of religion4  ,i deny that such
 a time ever was4  ,if ,i knew the real 
,god said it1 ,i would still deny it4   
,four thousand years ago1 if the bible  
is true1 ,god was in favor of slavery1  
polygamy1 wars of extermination and     
religious persecution4 ,now we are told 
the devil is in favor of all those      
things1 and ,god is opposed to them2 in 
other words1 the devil stands now where 
,god stood #d1jjj years ago2 yet they   
tell me ,god is just as good now as he  
was then1 and the devil just as bad now 
as ,god was then4  ,other nations       
believed in slavery1 polygamy1 and war  
and persecution without ever having     
received one ray of light from heaven4  
,that shows that a special revelation is

 not necessary to teach a man to do     
wrong4  ,other nations did no worse     
without the bible than the ,jews did    
with it4  ,suppose the devil had        
inspired a book4  ,in what respect would
 he have differed from ,god on the      
subject of slavery1 polygamy1 wars of   
extermination1 and religious            
persecution8  ,suppose we knew that     
after ,god had finished his book the    
devil had gotten possession of it1 and  
written a few passages to suit himself4 
,which passages1 ,o ,christian1 would   
you pick out now as having probably been
 written by the devil8 ,which of these  
two1 ,love thy neighbor as thyself1 or  
,kill all the males among the little    
ones1 and kill every man1 but all the   
women and girls keep alive for          
yourselves--which of those two passages 
would they select as having been written
 by the devil8  ,if ,god wrote the last1
 there is no need of a devil4  ,is there
 a ,christian in the wide world who does
 not wish that ,god1 from the thunder   

and lightning of ,sinai1 had said3  ,you
 shall not enslave your fellow-man6 ,i  
am opposed to any man who is in favor of
 slavery4  ,if revolution is needed at  
all it is to prevent man enslaving his  
fellow-man4  ,but they say ,god did the 
best ,he could2 that the ,jews were so  
bad that ,he had to come up kind of     
slow4  ,if ,he had told them suddenly   
they must not murder and steal1 they    
would not have paid any respect to the  
ten commandments4  ,suppose you go to   
the ,cannibal ,islands to prevent the   
gentlemen there from eating             
missionaries1 and you found they ate    
them raw4  ,the first move is to induce 
them to cook them4  ,after you get them 
to eat cooked missionaries1 you will    
then1 without their knowing it1         
occasionally slip in a little mutton4   
,we will go on gradually decreasing     
missionaries and increasing mutton until
 finally the last will be so cultivated 
that they will prefer the sheep to the  
priest1 ,i think the missionaries would 

object to that mode1 of course4  ,i know
 this was written by the ,jews          
themselves4  ,if they were to write it  
now1 it would be different4  ,today they
 are a civilized people4  ,i do not wish
 it understood that a word ,i say       
tonight touches the slightest prejudice 
in any man's mind against the ,jewish   
people4  ,they are as good a people as  
live today4  ,i will say right here1    
they never had any luck until ,jehovah  
abandoned them4  ,now we come to the new
 testament4  ,they tell me that is      
better than the old1   ,i say it is     
worse4  ,the great objection to the old 
testament is that it is cruel2 but in   
the old testament the revenge of ,god   
stopped with the portals of the tomb4   
,he never threatened punishment after   
death4  ,he never threatened one thing  
beyond the grave4  ,it was reserved for 
the new testament to make known the     
doctrine of eternal punishment4  ,is the
 new testament inspired8  ,i have not   
time to give many reasons1 but ,i will  

give some4  ,in the first place1 they   
tell me the very fact that the witnesses
 disagree in minor matters shows that   
they have not conspired to tell the same
 story4  ,good4  ,and ,i say in every   
lawsuit where four or five witnesses    
testify1 or endeavor to testify1 to the 
same transaction1 it is natural that    
they should differ on minor points4     
,why8  ,because no two occupy exactly   
the same position2 no two see exactly   
alike2 no two remember precisely the    
same1 and their disagreement is due to  
and accounted for by the imperfection of
 human nature1 and the fact that they   
did not all have an equal opportunity to
 know4  ,but if you admit or say that   
the four witnesses were inspired by an  
infinite being who did see it all1 then 
they should remember all the same1      
because inspiration does not depend on  
memory4  ,that brings me to another     
point4  ,why were there four gospels8   
,what is the use of more than one       
correct account of anything8  ,if you   

want to spread it1 send copies4  ,no    
human being has got the ingenuity to    
tell me why there were four gospels1    
when one correct gospel would have been 
enough4  ,why should there have been    
four original multiplication tables8    
,one is enough1 and if anybody has got  
any use for it he can copy that one4    
,the very fact that we have got four    
gospels shows that it is not an inspired
 book4  ,the next point is that1        
according to the new testament1 the     
salvation of the world depended upon the
 atonement4  ,only one of the books in  
the new testament says anything about   
that1 and that is ,john4  ,the church   
followed ,john1 and they ought to follow
 ,john1 because the church wrote that   
book called ,john4  ,according to that1 
the whole world was to be damned on     
account of the sins of one man2 and that
 absurdity was the father and mother of 
another absurdity--that the whole world 
could be saved on account of the virtue 
of another man4  ,i deny both           

propositions4 ,no man can sin for me2 no
 man can be virtuous for me2 ,i must    
reap what ,i sow4  ,but they say the law
 must be satisfied4  ,what kind of a law
 is it that would demand punishment of  
the innocent8 ,just think of it4  ,here 
is a man about to be hanged1 and another
 comes up and says3  ,that man has got a
 family1 and ,i have not2 that man is in
 good health and ,i am not well1 and ,i 
will be hung in his place4  ,and the    
governor says3  ,all right2 a murder has
 been committed1 and we have got to have
 a hanging--we don't care who4  ,under  
the ,mosaic dispensation there was no   
remission of sins without the shedding  
of blood4  ,if a man committed a murder 
he brought a pair of doves or a sheep to
 the priest1 and the priest laid his    
hands on the animal1 and the sins of the
 man were transferred to the animal4    
,you see how that could be done easy    
enough4  ,then they killed the animal1  
and sprinkled its blood on the altar4   
,that let the man off4  ,and why did    

,god demand the sacrifice of a sheep8   
,i will tell you2 because priests love  
mutton4  ,to make the innocent suffer is
 the greatest crime4  ,i don't wish to  
go to heaven on the virtues of somebody 
else4  ,if ,i can't settle by the books 
and go1 ,i don't wish to go4  ,i don't  
want to feel as if ,i was there on      
sufferance--that ,i was in the poorhouse
 of the universe1 supported by the town4
  ,they tell us ,judas betrayed ,christ4
  ,well1 if ,christ had not been        
betrayed1 no atonement would have been  
made1 and then every human soul would   
have been damned1 and heaven would have 
been for rent4  ,supposing that ,judas  
knew the ,christian system1 then perhaps
 he thought that by betraying ,christ he
 could get forgiven1 not only for the   
sins that he had already committed but  
for the sin of betrayal1 and if1 on the 
way to ,calvary1 and later1 some brave1 
heroic soul had rescued ,christ from the
 mob1 he would have made his own        
damnation sure4  ,it won't do4  ,there  

is no logic in that4  ,they say ,god    
tried to civilize the ,jews4  ,if ,he   
had succeeded1 according to the         
,christian system1 we all would have    
been damned1 because if the ,jews had   
been civilized they would not have      
crucified ,christ4  ,they would have    
believed in the freedom of speech1 and  
as a result the world would have been   
lost for two thousand years4  ,the      
,christian world has been trying to     
explain the atonement1 and they have    
always ended by failing to explain it4  
,now ,i come to the second objection1   
which is that certain belief is         
necessary to salvation4  ,i will believe
 according to the evidence4  ,in my mind
 are certain scales1 which weigh        
everything1 and my integrity stands     
there and knows which side goes up and  
which side goes down4  ,if ,i am an     
honest man ,i will report the weights   
like an honest man4  ,they say ,i must  
believe a certain thing or ,i will be   
eternally damned4  ,they tell me that to

 believe is the safer way4  ,i deny it4 
,the safest thing you can do is to be   
honest4  ,no man1 when the shadows of   
the last hours were gathering around    
him1 ever wished that he had lived the  
life of a hypocrite4  ,if ,i find at the
 ,day of ,judgment that ,i have been    
mistaken1 ,i will say so1 like a man4   
,if ,god tells me then that he is the   
author of the old testament ,i will     
admit that he is worse than ,i thought  
,he was1 and when ,he comes to pronounce
 sentence upon me1 ,i will   say to     
,him3  ,do unto others as ,you would    
that others should do unto ,you4  ,i    
have a right to think2 ,i cannot control
 my belief2 my brain is my castle1 and  
if ,i don't defend it1 my soul becomes a
 slave and a serf4  ,if you throw away  
your reason1 your soul is not worth     
saving4 ,salvation depends1 not upon    
belief but upon deed--upon kindness1    
upon justice1 upon mercy4  ,your own    
deeds are your savior1 and you can be   
saved in no other way4  ,i am told in   

this testament to love my enemies4  ,i  
cannot2 ,i will not4  ,i don't hate     
enemies2 ,i don't wish to injure        
enemies1 but ,i don't care about seeing 
them4  ,i don't like them4  ,i love my  
friends1 and the man who loves enemies  
and friends loves me4  ,the doctrine of 
non-resistance is born of weakness4     
,the man that first said it1 said it    
because it was the best he could do     
under the circumstances4 ,while the     
church said1 love your enemies1 in her  
sacred vestments gleamed the daggers of 
assassination4  ,with her cunning hand1 
she wore the purple for hypocrisy1 and  
placed the crown upon the brow of crime4
  ,for more than one thousand years     
larceny held the scales of justice1 and 
hypocrisy wore the mitre1 and the tiara 
of ,christ was in fact ,god4 ,he knew of
 the future4  ,he knew what crimes and  
horrors would be committed in ,his name4
  ,he knew the fires of persecution     
would climb around the limbs of         
countless martyrs2 that brave men and   

women would languish in dungeons and    
darkness2 that the church would use     
instruments of torture2 that in ,his    
name ,his followers would trade in human
 flesh2 that cradles would be robbed and
 women's breasts unbabed for gold1 and  
yet ,he died with voiceless lips4  ,if  
,christ was ,god1 why did ,he not tell  
,his disciples1 and through them1 the   
world1 ,man shall not persecute his     
fellow-man8  ,why didn't ,he say1 ,i am 
,god8 ,why didn't ,he explain the       
doctrine of the ,trinity8  ,why didn't  
,he tell what manner of baptism was     
pleasing to ,him8  ,why didn't ,he say  
the old testament is true8  ,why didn't 
,he write ,his testament himself8  ,why 
did ,he leave ,his words to accident1 to
 ignorance1 to malice1 and to chance8   
,why didn't ,he say something positive1 
definite1 satisfactory1 about another   
world8  ,why did ,he not turn the       
tear-stained hope of immortality to the 
glad knowledge of another life8  ,why   
did he go dumbly to ,his death1 leaving 

the world to misery and to doubt8       
,because ,he was a man4  ,colonel       
,ingersoll read several extracts from   
the bible1 which he said originated with
 ,zoroaster1 ,buddha1 ,cicero1          
,epictetus1 ,pythagoras and other       
ancient writers1 and he read extracts   
from various pagan writers1 which he    
claimed compared favorably with the best
 things in the bible4 ,he continued3    
,no ,god has a right to create a man who
 is to be eternally damned4 ,infinite   
wisdom has no right to make a failure1  
and a man who is to be eternally damned 
is not a conspicuous success4  ,infinite
 ,wisdom has no right to make an        
instrument that will not finally pay a  
dividend4  ,no ,god has a right to add  
to the agony of this universe1 and yet  
around the angels of immortality        
,christianity has coiled this serpent of
 eternal pain4  ,upon love's breast the 
church has placed that asp1 and yet     
people talk to me about the consolations
 of religion4  ,a few days ago the bark 

,tiger was found upon the wide sea #abf 
days from ,liverpool4  ,for nine days   
not a mouthful of food or a drop of     
water was to be had4  ,there was on     
board the captain1 mate1 and eleven men4
  ,when they had been out #aag days they
 killed the captain's dog4  ,nine days  
more--no food1 no water1 and ,captain   
,kruger stood upon the deck in the      
presence of his starving crew4  ,with a 
revolver in his hand1 put it upon his   
temple1 and said1 ,boys1 this can't last
 much longer2 ,i am willing to die to   
save the rest of you4  ,the mate grasped
 the revolver from his hand1 and said1  
,wait2  and the next day upon the       
horizon of despair was the smoke of the 
ship which rescued them4  ,do you tell  
me tonight if ,captain ,kruger was not a
 ,christian and he had sent that ball   
crashing through his generous brain that
 there was an ,almighty waiting to      
clutch his naked soul that ,he might    
damn him forever8  ,it won't do4  ,ah1  
but they tell me ,you have no right to  

pick the bad things out of the bible4   
,i say1 an infinite ,god has no right to
 put bad things into ,his bible4  ,does 
anybody believe if ,god was going to    
write a book now ,he would uphold       
slavery2 that ,he would favor polygamy2 
that ,he would say kill the heathen1    
stab the women1 dash out the brains of  
the children8 ,we have civilized him4   
,we make our own ,god1 and we make ,him 
better day by day4  ,some honest people 
really believe that in some wonderful   
way we are indebted to ,moses for       
geology1 to ,joshua for astronomy and   
military tactics1 to ,samson for weapons
 of war1 to ,daniel for holy curses1 to 
,solomon for the art of                 
cross-examination1 to ,jonah for the    
science of navigation1 to ,saint ,paul  
for steamships and locomotives1 to the  
four ,gospels for telegraphs and        
sewing-machines1 to the ,apocalypse2 for
 looms1 saw-mills1 and telephones2 and  
that to the sermon on the mount we are  
indebted for mortars and ,krupp guns4   

,we are told that no nation has ever    
been civilized without a bible4  ,the   
,jews had one1 and yet they crucified a 
perfectly innocent man4  ,they couldn't 
have done much worse without a bible4   
,god must have known #f1jjj years ago   
that it was impossible to civilize      
people without a bible just as well as  
they know it now4 ,why did ,he ever     
allow a nation to be ,without a bible8  
,why didn't ,he give a few leaves to    
,adam and ,eve in the ,garden of ,eden8 
,take from the bible the miracles1 and  
,i admit that the good passages are     
true4  ,if they are true they don't need
 to be inspired4 ,miracles are the      
children of mendacity4 ,nothing can be  
more wonderful than the majestic1       
sublime1 and eternal march of cause and 
effect4  ,reason must be the final      
arbiter4  ,an inspired book cannot stand
 against a demonstrated fact4 ,is a man 
to be rewarded eternally for believing  
without evidence or against evidence8   
,do you tell me that the less brain a   

man has the better chance he has for    
heaven8  ,think of a heaven filled with 
men who never thought4 ,better that all 
that is should cease to be2 better that 
,god had never been2 better that all the
 springs and seeds of things should fall
 and wither in great nature's realm2    
better that causes and effects should   
lose relation2 better that every life   
should change to breathless death and   
voiceless blank1 and every star to blind
 oblivion and moveless naught1 than that
 this religion should be true4  ,the    
religion of the future is humanity4     
,the religion of the future will say to 
every man1 ,you have the right to think 
and investigate for yourself4  ,liberty 
is my religion--everything that is true1
 every good thought1 every beautiful    
thing1 every self-denying action--all   
these make my bible4  ,every bubble1    
every star1 are passages in my bible4   
,a constellation is a chapter4  ,every  
shining world is a part of it4  ,you    
cannot interpolate it2 you cannot change

 it4  ,it is the same forever4 ,my bible
 is all that speaks to man4  ,every     
violet1 every blade of grass1 every     
tree1 every mountain crowned with snow1 
every star that shines1 every throb of  
love1 every honest act1 all that is good
 and true combined1 make my bible2 and  
upon that book ,i stand4                
,ingersoll's ,lecture on ,intellectual  
,development    ,ladies and ,gentlemen3 
,in the first place ,i want to admit    
that there are a great many good people1
 quite pious people1 who don't agree    
with me and all that proves in the world
 is1 that ,i don't agree with them4 ,i  
am not endeavoring to force my ideas or 
notions upon other people1 but ,i am    
saying what little ,i can to induce     
everybody in the world to grant to every
 other person every right he claims for 
himself4  ,i claim1 standing under the  
flag of nature1 under the blue and the  
stars1 that ,i am the peer of any other 
man1 and have the right to think and    
express my thoughts4  ,i claim that in  

the presence of the unknown1 and upon a 
subject that nobody knows anything      
about1 and never did1 ,i have as good a 
right to guess as anybody else4  ,the   
gentlemen who hold views against mine1  
if they had any evidence1 would have no 
fears--not the slightest4  ,if a man has
 a diamond that has been examined by the
 lapidaries of the world1 and some      
ignorant stonecutter tells him that it  
is nothing but an ordinary rock1 he     
laughs at him2 but if it has not been   
examined by lapidaries1 and he is a     
little suspicious himself that it is not
 genuine1 it makes him mad4  ,any       
doctrine that will not bear             
investigation is not a fit tenant for   
the mind of an honest man4  ,any man who
 is afraid to have his doctrine         
investigated is not only a coward but a 
hypocrite4  ,now1 all ,i ask is simply  
an opportunity to say my say4 ,i will   
give that right to everybody else in the
 world4  ,i understand that owing to my 
success in the lecture field several    

clergymen have taken it into their heads
 to lecture--some of them1 ,i believe1  
this evening4  ,i say all that ,i claim 
is the right ,i give to others1 and any 
man who will not give that right is a   
dishonest man1 no matter what church he 
may belong to or not belong to--if he   
does not freely accord to all others the
 right to think1 he is not an honest    
man4  ,i said some time ago that if     
there was any being who would eternally 
damn one of his children for the        
expression of an honest opinion that he 
was not a ,god1 but that he was a demon2
 and from that they have said first1    
that ,i did not believe in any ,god1    
and1 secondly1 that ,i called ,him a    
demon4  ,if ,i did not believe in ,him  
how could ,i call ,him anything8  ,these
 things hardly hang together4  ,but that
 makes no difference2 ,i expect to be   
maligned2 ,i expect to be slandered2 ,i 
expect to have my reputation blackened  
by gentlemen who are not fit to blacken 
my shoes4  ,but letting that pass--,i   

simply believe in liberty2 that is my   
religion2 that is the altar where ,i    
worship2 that is my shrine--that every  
human being shall have every right that 
,i have--that is my religion4  ,i am    
going to live up to it and going to say 
what little ,i can to make the ,american
 people brave enough and generous enough
 and kind enough to give everybody else 
the rights they have themselves4 ,can   
there ever be any progress in this world
 to amount to anything until we have    
liberty8  ,the thoughts of a man who is 
not free are not worth much4 ,a man who 
thinks with the club of a creed above   
his head--a man who thinks casting his  
eye askance at the flames of hell1 is   
not apt to have very good thoughts4     
,and for my part1 ,i would not care to  
have any status or social position even 
in heaven if ,i had to admit that ,i    
never would have been there only ,i got 
scared4  ,when we are frightened we do  
not think very well4  ,if you want to   
get at the honest thoughts of a man he  

must be free4  ,if he is not free you   
will not get his honest thought4 ,you   
won't trade with a merchant1 if he is   
free2 you won't employ him if he is a   
lawyer1 if he is free2 you won't call   
him if he is a doctor1 if he is free2   
and what are you going to get out of him
 but hypocrisy4 ,force will not make    
thinkers1 but hypocrites4  ,a minister  
told me awhile ago1 ,ingersoll1 he says1
 if you do not believe the bible you    
ought not to say so4  ,says ,i1 ,do you 
believe the bible8  ,he says1 ,i do4 ,i 
says1 ,i don't know whether you do or   
not2 maybe you are following the advice 
you gave me2 how shall ,i know whether  
you believe it or not8  ,now1 ,i shall  
die without knowing whether that man    
believed the bible or not4 ,there is no 
way that ,i can possibly find out1      
because he said that even if he did not 
believe it he would not say so4  ,now1  
,i read1 for instance1 a book4  ,now1   
let us be honest4  ,suppose that a      
clergyman and ,i were on an             

island--nobody but us two--and ,i were  
to read a book1 and ,i honestly believed
 it untrue1 and he asked me about       
it--what ought ,i to say8  ,ought ,i to 
say ,i believed it1 and be lying1 or    
ought ,i to say ,i did not8--that is the
 question2 and the church can take its  
choice between honest men1 who differ1  
and hypocrites1 who differ1 but say they
 do not--you can have your choice1 all  
of you499  99 ,these black-coats are the
 only persons of my acquaintance who    
resemble the chameleon1 in being able to
 keep one eye directed upwards to       
heaven1 and the other downwards to the  
good things of this world4--,alex4 von  
,humboldt  ,if you give to us liberty1  
you will have in this country a splendid
 diversity of individuality2 but if on  
the contrary you say men shall think so 
and so1 you will have the sameness of   
stupid nonsense4  ,in my judgment1 it is
 the duty of every man to think and     
express his thoughts2 but at the same   
time do not make martyrs of yourselves4 

,those people that are not willing you  
should be honest1 are not worth dying   
for2 they are not worth being a martyr  
for2 and if you are afraid you cannot   
support your wife and children in this  
town and express your honest thought1   
why keep it to yourself1 but if there is
 such a man here he is a living         
certificate of the meanness of the      
community in which he lives4  ,go right 
along1 if you are afraid it will take   
food from the mouths of your dear       
babes--if you are afraid you cannot     
clothe your wife and children1 go along 
with them to church1 say amen in as near
 the right place as you can1 if you     
happen to be awake1 and ,i will do your 
talking for you4  ,i will say my say1   
and the time will come when every man in
 the country will be astonished that    
there ever was a time that everybody had
 not the right to speak his honest      
thoughts4  ,if there is a man here or in
 this town1 preacher or otherwise1 who  
is not willing that ,i should think and 

speak1 he is just so much nearer a      
barbarian than ,i am4 ,civilization is  
liberty1 slavery is barbarism2          
civilization is intelligence1 slavery is
 ignorance2 and if we are any nearer    
free than were our fathers1 it is       
because we have got better heads and    
more brains in them--that is the reason4
  ,every man who has invented anything  
for the use and convenience of man has  
helped raise his fellow-man1 and all we 
have found out of the laws and forces of
 nature so that we are finally enabled  
to bring these forces of nature into    
subjection1 to give us better houses1   
better food1 better clothes--these are  
the real civilizers of our race2 and the
 men who stand up as prophets and       
predict hell to their fellow-man1 they  
are not the civilizers of our race2 the 
men who cut each other's throats because
 they fell out about baptism--they are  
not the civilizers of my race2 the men  
who built the inquisitions and put into 
dungeons all the grand and honest men   

they could find--they are not the       
civilizers of my race4  ,the men who    
have corrupted the imaginations and     
hearts of men by their infamous dogma of
 hell--they are not the civilizers of my
 race4  ,the men who have been          
predicting good for mankind1 the men who
 have found some way to get us better   
homes and better houses and better      
education1 the men who have allowed us  
to make slaves of the blind forces of   
nature--they have made this world fit to
 live in4  ,i want to prove to you if ,i
 can that this is all a question of     
intellectual development1 a question of 
sense1 and the more a man knows the more
 liberal he is2 the less a man knows the
 more bigoted he is4 ,the less a man    
knows the more certain he is that he    
knows it1 and the more a man knows the  
better satisfied he is that he is       
entirely ignorant4  ,great knowledge is 
philosophic1 and little1 narrow1        
contemptible knowledge is bigoted and   
hateful4  ,i want to prove it to you4   

,i saw a little while ago models of     
nearly everything man has made for his  
use--nearly everything4  ,i saw models  
of all the watercraft2 from the rude    
dug-out1 in which paddled the naked     
savage1 with his forehead about half as 
high as his teeth were long--all the    
water craft from that dug-out up to a   
man of war that carries a hundred guns  
and miles of canvas2 from that rude     
dug-out to a steamship that turns its   
brave prow from the port of ,new ,york1 
with three thousand miles of foaming    
billows before it1 not missing a throb  
or beat of its mighty iron heart from   
one shore to the other4  ,i saw their   
ideas of weapons1 from the rude club1   
such as was seized by that same         
barbarian as he emerged from his den in 
the morning1 hunting a snake for his    
dinner2 from that club to the boomerang1
 to the dagger1 to the sword1 to the    
blunderbuss1 to the old flintlock1 to   
the cap-lock1 to the needle-gun1 to the 
cannon invented by ,krupp1 capable of   

hurling a ball weighing two thousand    
pounds through eighteen inches of solid 
steel4  ,i saw their ideas of defensive 
armor1 from the turtle shell which one  
of these gentlemen lashed upon his      
breast preparatory to going to war1 or  
the skin of a porcupine1 dried with the 
quills on1 that he pulled on his        
orthodox head before he sallied forth4  
,by orthodox ,i mean man who has quit   
growing2 not simply in religion1 but it 
everything2 whenever a man is done1 he  
is orthodox whenever he thinks he has   
found out all1 he is orthodox whenever  
he becomes a drag on the swift car of   
progress1 he is orthodox4  ,i saw their 
defensive armor1 from the turtle-shell  
and the porcupine skin to the shirts of 
mail of the middle ages1 that defied the
 edge of the sword and the point of the 
spear4  ,i saw their ideas of           
agricultural implements1 from the       
crooked stick that was attached to the  
horn of an ox by some twisted straw1 to 
the agricultural implements of today1   

that make it possible for a man to      
cultivate the soil without being an     
ignoramus4  ,when they had none of these
 agricultural implements--when they     
depended upon one crop--they were       
superstitious1 for if the frosts struck 
one crop they thought the gods were     
angry with them4  ,now1 with the        
implements1 machinery and knowledge of  
mechanics of today1 people have found   
out that no man can be good enough nor  
bad enough to cause a frost4  ,after    
having found out these things are       
contrary to the laws of nature1 they    
began to raise more than one kind of    
crop4  ,if the frost strikes one they   
have the other2 if it happens to strike 
all in that locality there is a surplus 
somewhere else1 and that surplus is     
distributed by railways and steamers and
 by the thousand ways that we have to   
distribute these things2 and as a       
consequence the agriculturist begins to 
think and reason1 and now for the first 
time in the history of the world the    

agriculturist begins to stand upon a    
level with the mechanic and with the man
 who has confidence in the laws and     
facts of nature4  ,i saw there their    
musical instruments1 from the tomtom    
7that is a hoop with two strings of     
rawhide drawn across it7 to the         
instruments we have that make the common
 air blossom with melody4 ,i saw their  
ideas on ornaments1 from a string of the
 claws of a wild beast that once        
ornamented the dusky bosom of some      
savage belle1 to the rubies and         
sapphires and diamonds with which       
civilization today is familiar4  ,i saw 
the books1 written upon the             
shoulder-blades of sheep1 upon the bark 
of trees1 down to the illustrated       
volumes that are now in the libraries of
 the world4 ,i saw their ideas of       
paintings1 from the rude daubs of yellow
 mud1 to the grand pictures we see in   
the art galleries of today4 ,i saw their
 ideas of sculpture1 from a monster god 
with several legs1 a good many noses1 a 

great many eyes1 and one little1        
contemptible1 brainless head1 to the    
sculpture that we have1 where the marble
 is clothed with such personality that  
it seems almost impudence to touch it   
without an introduction4  ,i saw all    
these things1 and how men had gradually 
improved through the generations that   
are dead4  ,and ,i saw at the same time 
a row of men's skulls--skulls from the  
,bushmen of ,australia1 skulls from the 
center of ,africa1 skulls from the      
farthest islands of the ,pacific1 skulls
 from this country--from the aborigines 
of ,america1 skulls of the ,aztecs1 up  
to the best skulls1 or many of the best 
of the last generation2 and ,i noticed  
there was the same difference between   
the skulls as between the products of   
the skulls1 the same between that skull 
and that1 as between the dugout and the 
man-of-war1 as between the dugout and   
the steamship1 as between the tomtom and
 an opera of ,verdi1 as between those   
ancient agricultural implements and     

ours1 as between that yellow daub and   
that landscape1 as between that stone   
god and a statue of today2 and ,i said  
to myself1 ,this is a question of       
intellectual development2 this is a     
question of brain4  ,the man has        
advanced just in proportion as he has   
mingled his thoughts with his labor1 and
 just in proportion that his brain has  
gotten into partnership with his hand4  
,man has advanced just as he has        
developed intellectually1 and no other  
way4  ,that skull was a low den in which
 crawled and groped the meaner and baser
 instincts of mankind1 and this was a   
temple in which dwelt love1 liberty and 
joy4  ,why is it that we have advanced  
in the arts8  ,it is because every      
incentive has been held out to the      
world2 because we want better clubs or  
better cannons with which to kill our   
fellow ,christians2 we want better      
music1 we want better houses1 and any   
man who will invent them1 and any man   
who will give them to us we will clothe 

him in gold and glory2 we will crown him
 with honor4  ,that gentleman in his    
dugout not only had his ideas of        
mechanics1 but he was a politician4     
,his idea of politics was1 ,might makes 
right2 and it will take thousands of    
years before the world will be willing  
to say that1 ,right makes might4 ,that  
was his idea of politics1 and he had    
another idea--that all power came from  
the clouds1 and that every armed thief  
that lived upon the honest labor of     
mankind had had poured out upon his head
 the divine oil of authority4  ,he      
didn't believe the power to govern came 
from the people2 he did not believe that
 the great mass of people had any right 
whatever1 or that the great mass of     
people could be allowed the liberty of  
thought--and we have thousands of such  
today4  ,they say thought is            
dangerous--don't investigate299 don't   
inquire2 just believe2 shut your eyes1  
and then you are safe4 ,you trust not   
hear this man or that man or some other 

man1 or our dear doctrines will be      
overturned1 and we have nobody on our   
side except a large majority2 we have   
nobody on our side except the wealth and
 respectability of the world2 we have   
nobody on our side except the infinite  
,god1 and we are afraid that one man1 in
 one or two hours1 will beat the whole  
party4  99 ,there is no method of       
reasoning more common1 or more blamable1
 than in philosophical disputes1 to     
endeavor the refutation of any          
hypothesis1 by a pretense of its        
dangerous consequences to religion and  
morality4--,david ,hume  ,this man in   
the dugout also had his ideas of        
religion--that fellow was orthodox1 and 
any man who differed with him he called 
an infidel1 an atheist1 an outcast1 and 
warned everybody against him4  ,he had  
his religion--he believed in hell2 he   
was glad of it2 he enjoyed it2 it was a 
great source of comfort to him to think 
when he didn't like people that he would
 have the pleasure of looking over and  

seeing them squirm upon the gridiron4   
,when any man said he didn't believe    
there was a hell this gentleman got up  
in his pulpit and called him a hyena4   
,that fellow believed in a devil too2   
that lowest skull was a devil           
factory--he believed in him4  ,he       
believed he had a long tail adorned with
 a fiery dart2 he believed he had wings 
like a bat1 and had a pleasant habit of 
breathing sulphur2 and he believed he   
had a cloven foot--such as most of your 
clergymen think ,i am blessed with      
myself4 ,they are shepherds of the      
sheep4  ,the people are the sheep--that 
is all they are1 they have to be watched
 and guarded by these shepherds and     
protected from the wolf who wants to    
reason with them4  ,that is the         
doctrine4  ,now1 all ,i claim is the    
same right to improve on that           
gentleman's politics1 as on the dug-out1
 and the same right to improve upon his 
religion as upon his plough1 or the     
musical instrument known as the         

tomtom--that is all4  ,now1 suppose the 
king and priest1 if there was one1 and  
there probably was one1 as the farther  
you go back the more ignorant you find  
mankind and the thicker you find these  
gentlemen--suppose the king and priest  
had said3  ,that boat is the best boat  
that ever can be built2 we got the model
 of that from ,neptune1 the god of the  
seas1 and ,i guess the god of the water 
knows how to build a boat1 and any man  
that says he can improve it by putting a
 stick in the middle with a rag on the  
end of it1 and has any talk about the   
wind blowing this way1 and that1 he is a
 heretic--he is a blasphemer4  ,honor   
bright1 what1 in your judgment1 would   
have been the effect upon the           
circumnavigation of the globe8  ,i think
 we would have been on the other side   
yet4 ,suppose the king and priests had  
said3  ,that plow is the best that ever 
can be invented2 the model of that was  
given to a pious farmer in a holy dream1
 and that twisted straw is the ne plus  

ultra of all twisted things1 and any man
 who says he can out-twist it1 we will  
twist him4 ,suppose the king and priests
 had said3  ,that tomtom is the finest  
instrument of music in the world--that  
is the kind of music found in heaven4   
,an angel sat upon the edge of a        
glorified cloud playing upon that tomtom
 and became so entranced with the music 
that in a kind of ecstasy she dropped it
 and that is how we got it1 and any man 
who talks about putting any improvement 
on that1 he is not fit to live4  ,let me
 ask you--do you believe if that had    
been done that the human ears ever would
 have been enriched with the divine     
symphonies of ,beethoven8  ,all ,i claim
 is the same right to improve upon this 
barbarian's ideas of politics and       
religion as upon everything else1 and   
whether it is an improvement or not1 ,i 
have a right to suggest it--that is my  
doctrine4 ,they say to me1 ,god will    
punish you forever1 if you do these     
things4 ,very well4  ,i will settle with

 ,him4  ,i had rather settle with ,him  
than any one of ,his agents4  ,i do not 
like them very well4  ,in theology ,i am
 a granger--,i do not believe in        
middle-men1 what little business ,i have
 with heaven ,i will attend to thyself4 
,our fathers thought1 just as many now  
think1 that you could force men to think
 your way and if they failed to do it by
 reason1 they tried it another way4  ,i 
used to read about it when ,i was a     
boy--it did not seem to me that these   
things were true2 it did not seem to me 
that there ever was such heartless      
bigotry in the heart of man1  but there 
was and is tonight4  ,i used to read    
about it--,i did not appreciate it4  ,i 
never appreciated it until ,i saw the   
arguments of those gentlemen4  ,they    
used to use just such arguments as that 
man in the dug-out would have used to   
the next man ahead of him4 ,this low1   
miserable skull--this next man was a    
little higher1 and this fellow behind   
called him a heretic1 and the next was  

still a little higher1 and he was called
 an infidel4  ,and1 so it went on       
through the whole row--always calling   
the man who was ahead an infidel and a  
heretic4  ,no man was ever called so who
 was behind the army of progress4 ,it   
has always been the man ahead that has  
been called the heretic4 ,heresy is the 
last and best thought always4  ,heresy  
extends the hospitality of the brain to 
a new idea2 that is what the rotting    
says to the growing2 that is what the   
dweller in the swamp says to the man on 
the sun-lit hill2 that is what the man  
in the darkness cries out to the grand  
man upon whose forehead is shining the  
dawn of a grander day2 that is what the 
coffin says to the cradle4  ,orthodoxy  
is a kind of shroud1 and heresy is a    
banner--orthodoxy is a frog and heresy a
 star shining forever above the cradle  
of truth4  ,i do not mean simply in     
religion1 ,i mean in everything1 and the
 idea ,i wish to impress upon you is    
that you should keep your minds open to 

all the influences of nature2 you should
 keep your minds open to reason4  ,hear 
what a man has to say1 and do not let   
the turtle-shell of bigotry grow above  
your brain4  ,give everybody a chance   
and an opportunity2 that is all4  ,i saw
 the arguments that those gentlemen have
 used on each other through all the     
ages4  ,i saw a little bit of thumbscrew
 not more than so long 7illustrating71  
and attached to each end was a screw1   
and the inner surface vas trimmed with  
little protuberances to prevent their   
slipping2 and when some man             
doubted--when a man had an idea--then   
those that did not have an idea put the 
thumbscrew upon him who did4  ,he had   
doubted something4  ,for instance1 they 
told him1 ,christ says you must love    
your enemies2 he says1 ,i do not know   
about that2 then they said1 ,we will    
show you6  ,do unto others as you would 
be done by1 they said is the doctrine4  
,he doubted4  ,we will show you that it 
is6 ,so they put this screw on2 and in  

the name of universal love and universal
 forgiveness--pray for those who        
despitefully use you--they began        
screwing these pieces of iron into      
him--always done in the name of         
religion--always4 ,it never was done in 
the name of reason1 never was done in   
the name of science--never4  ,no man was
 ever persecuted in defense of a        
truth--never4 ,no man was ever          
persecuted except in defense of a       
lie--never4  ,this man had fallen out   
with them about something2 he did not   
understand it as they did4  ,for        
instance he said1 ,i do not believe     
there ever was a man whose strength was 
in his hair4 ,they said3  ,you don't8   
,we'll show you6  ,i do not believe1 he 
says1 that a fish ever swallowed a man  
to save his life4  ,you don't8  ,well1  
we'll show you6 ,and so they put this   
on1 and generally the man would recant  
and say1 ,well1 ,i'll take it back4     
,well ,i think ,i should4  ,such men are
 not worth dying for4 ,the idea of dying

 for a man that would tear the flesh of 
another on account of an honest         
difference of opinion--such a man is not
 worth dying for2 he is not worth living
 for1 and if ,i was in a position that  
,i could not send a bullet through his  
brain1 ,i would recant4  ,i would say3  
,you write it down and ,i will sign     
it--,i will admit that there is one     
,god1 or a million--suit yourself2 one  
hell or a billion2 you just write       
it--only stop this screw4  ,you are not 
worth suffering for1 you are not worth  
dying for and ,i am never going to take 
the part of any ,lord that won't take my
 part--you just write it down and ,i'll 
sign it4  ,but there was now and then a 
man who would not do that4  ,he said1   
,no1 ,i believe ,i am right1 and ,i will
 die for it1 and ,i suppose we owe what 
little progress we have made to a few   
men in all ages of the world who really 
stood by their convictions4  ,the men   
who stood by the truth and the men who  
stood by a fact1 they are the men that  

have helped raise this world1 and in    
every age there has been some sublime   
and tender soul who was true to his     
convictions1 and who really lived to    
make men better4  ,in every age some men
 carried the torch of progress and      
handed it to some other1 and it has been
 carried through all the dark ages of   
barbarism1 and had it not been for such 
men we would have been naked and        
uncivilized tonight1 with pictures of   
wild beasts tattooed on our skins1      
dancing around some dried snake fetish4 
,when a man would not recant1 these men1
 in the name of the love of the ,lord1  
screwed them down to the last thread of 
agony and threw them into some dungeon1 
where1 in the throbbing silence of      
darkness1 they suffered the pangs of the
 fabled damned2 and this was done in the
 name of civilization1 love and order1  
and in the name of the most merciful    
,christ4  ,there are no thumbscrews now2
 they are rusting away2 but every man in
 this town who is not willing that      

another shall do his own thinking and   
will try to prevent it1 has in him the  
same hellish spirit that made and used  
that very instrument of torture1 and the
 only reason he does not use it today is
 because he cannot4  ,the reason that ,i
 speak here tonight is because they     
cannot help it4  ,i saw at the same time
 a beautiful little instrument for the  
propagation of kindness1 called ,the    
,scavenger's ,daughter4  7,the lecturer 
here described and illustrated          
construction of the instrument47  ,the  
victim would be thrown upon that        
instrument and the strain upon the      
muscles was such that insanity would    
sometimes come to his relief4  ,see what
 we owe to the civilizing influence of  
the gentlemen who have made a certain   
idea in metaphysics necessary to        
salvation--see what we owe to them4  ,i 
saw a collar of torture which they put  
about the neck of their victim1 and     
inside of that there were a hundred     
points2 so that the victim could not    

stir without the skin being punctured   
with these points1 and after a little   
while the throat would swell and        
suffocation would end the agony1 and    
they would have that done in the        
presence of his wife and weeping        
children4  ,that was all done so that   
finally everybody would love everybody  
else as his brother4  ,i saw a rack4    
,imagine a wagon with a windlass on each
 end1 and each windlass armed with      
leather bands1 and a ratchet that       
prevented slipping4  ,the victim was    
placed upon this4  ,maybe he had denied 
something that some idiot said was true2
 may be he had a discussion--a division 
of opinion with a man1 like ,john       
,calvin4 ,john ,calvin said ,christ was 
the ,eternal ,son of ,god and ,michael  
,servetus said that ,christ was the son 
of the ,eternal ,god4  ,that was the    
only difference of opinion4  ,think of  
it6 ,what an important thing it was6    
,how it would have affected the price of
 food6  ,christ is the ,eternal ,son of 

,god1 said one2 ,no1 said the other1    
,christ is the ,son of ,eternal         
,god--that was all1 and for that        
difference of opinion ,michael ,servetus
 was burned at a slow fire of green     
wood1 and the wind happening to blow the
 flames from him instead of towards him2
 he was in the most terrible agony1     
writhing for minutes and minutes1 and   
hours and hours1 and finally he begged  
and implored those wretches to move him 
so that the wind would blow the flames  
against him and destroy him without such
 hellish agony1 but they were so filled 
with the doctrine of love your enemies  
that they would not do it4  ,i never    
will1 for my part1 depend upon any      
religion that has ever shed a drop of   
human blood499  99 ,speaking of the     
,inquisition1 ,prof4 ,draper says3      
,with such savage alacrity did it carry 
out its object of protecting the        
interests of religion1 that between     
#adhj and #ahjh it had punished #cdj1jjj
 persons1 and of these nearly #cb1jjj   

had been burnt6--,conflict between      
,religion and ,science  ,upon this rack 
,i have described1 this victim was      
placed1 and those chains were attached  
to his ankles and then to his waist1 and
 clergymen--good men6 pious men6 men    
that were shocked at the immorality of  
their day6  ,they talked about playing  
cards and the horrible crime of dancing6
 ,oh1 how such things shocked them2 men 
going to theaters and seeing a play     
written by the grandest genius the world
 ever has produced4  ,how it shocked    
their sublime and tender souls6  ,but   
then commenced turning this machine1 and
 they kept on turning until the ankles1 
knees1 hips1 elbows1 shoulders and      
wrists were all dislocated and the      
victim was red with the sweat of agony1 
and they had standing by a physician to 
feel the pulse1 so that the last faint  
flutter of life would not leave his     
veins4  ,did they wish to save his life8
  ,yes4 ,in mercy8  ,no6  ,simply that  
they might have the pleasure of racking 

him once again4  ,that is the spirit1   
and it is a spirit born of the doctrine 
that there is upon the throne of the    
universe a being who will eternally damn
 his children1 and they said3  ,if ,god 
is going to have the supreme happiness  
of burning them forever1 certainly he   
ought not to begrudge to us the joy of  
burning them for an hour or two4  ,that 
was their doctrine1 and when ,i read    
these things it seems to me that ,i have
 suffered them myself4  ,when ,i look   
upon those instruments ,i look upon them
 as though ,i had suffered all these    
tortures myself4  ,it seems to me as    
though ,i had stood upon the shore an   
exile and looking with tear-filled eyes 
toward home and native land4  ,it seems 
as though my nails had been plucked out 
and into bleeding flesh needles had been
 thrust2 as though my eyelids had been  
torn away and ,i had been set out in the
 ardent rays of the sun2 as though ,i   
had been set out upon the sands of the  
sea and drowned by the inexorable tide2 

as though ,i had been in the dungeon    
waiting for the coming footsteps of     
relief2 as though ,i had been upon the  
scaffold arid seen the glittering axe   
falling upon me2 and seen bending above 
me the white faces of hypocrite priests2
 as though ,i had been taken from my    
wife and children to the public square1 
where faggots had been piled around me  
and the flames had climbed around my    
limbs and scorched my eyes to blindness2
 as though my ashes had been scattered  
by all the hands of hatred2 and ,i feel 
like saying1 that while ,i live ,i will 
do what little ,i can to preserve and   
augment the rights of men1 women arid   
children2 while ,i live ,i will do a    
little something so that they who come  
after me shall have the right to think  
and express that thought4 ,the trouble  
is those who oppose us pretend they are 
better than we are4 ,they are more      
mortal1 they are kinder1 they are more  
generous4  ,i deny it4  ,they are not4  
,and if they are the ones that are to be

 saved in another world1 and if those   
who simply think they are honest1 and   
express that honest thought1 are to be  
damned1 there will be but little        
originality1 to say the least of it1 in 
heaven4  ,they say they are better than 
we are--and to show you how much better 
they are ,i have got at home copies of  
some letters that passed between        
gentlemen high in the church several    
hundred years ago1 and the question was 
this3  ,ought we to cut out the tongues 
of blasphemers before we burn them8 ,and
 they finally decided that they ought to
 do so1 and ,i will tell you the reason 
they gave3 ,they said if they were not  
cut out that while they were being      
burned1 they might1 by their heresies1  
scandalize the gentleman who would bring
 the wood2 they were too good to hear   
these things and they might be injured2 
and the same idea appears to prevail in 
this world now that they are too good   
and they must not be shocked4  ,they say
 to us3  ,you must not shock us1 and    

when you say there is no hell we are    
shocked4  ,you must not say that4  ,when
 ,i go to church and they tell me there 
is a hell ,i must not get shocked2 and  
if they tell me that there is not only a
 hell1 but that ,i am going to it1 ,i   
must not be shocked4  ,even if they take
 the next step and act as though they   
would be glad to see me there1 still ,i 
must not be shocked4  ,i will agree to  
keep from being shocked as long as      
anybody in the world--they can say what 
they please2 ,i will not get shocked1   
but let me say it4 ,you send            
missionaries to ,turkey and tell them   
that the ,koran is a lie4 ,you shock    
them4 ,you tell them that ,mahomet was  
not a prophet4  ,you shock them4 ,it is 
too bad to shock them4  ,you go to      
,india and you tell them that ,vishnu   
was nothing1 ,puranas was nothing1 that 
,buddha was nobody1 and your ,brahma1 he
 is nothing4  ,why do you shock these   
people8 ,you should not do that2 you    
ought not to hurt their feelings4  ,i   

tell you no man on earth has a right to 
be shocked at the expression of an      
honest opinion when it is kindly done1  
and ,i don't believe there is any ,god  
in the universe who has put a curtain   
over the fact and made it a crime for   
the honest hand of investigation to     
endeavor to draw that curtain4  ,this   
world has not been fit to live in fifty 
years4  ,there is no liberty in it--very
 little4  ,why1 it is only a few years  
ago that all the ,christian nations were
 engaged in the slave trade4 ,it was not
 until #ahjh1 that ,england abolished   
the slave trade1 and up to that time her
 priests in her churches1 and her judges
 on her benches1 owned stock in slave   
ships1 and luxuriated on the profits of 
piracy and murder2 and when a man stood 
up and denounced it1 they mobbed him as 
though he had been a common burglar or a
 horse thief4  ,think of it6  ,it was   
not until the #bhth day of ,august1     
#ahcc1 that ,england abolished slavery  
in her colonies2 and it was not until   

the first day of ,january1 #ahfc1 that  
,abraham ,lincoln1 by direction of the  
entire ,north1 wiped that infamy out of 
this country2 and ,i never speak of     
,abraham ,lincoln but ,i want to say    
that he was1 in my judgment1 in many    
respects the grandest man ever president
 of the ,united ,states4  ,i say that   
upon his tomb there ought to be this    
line--and ,i know of no other man       
deserving it so well as he3 ,here lies  
one who1 having been clothed with almost
 absolute power1 never abused it except 
on the side of mercy4  ,just think of   
it6  ,our churches and best people1 as  
they call themselves1 defending the     
institution of slavery4  ,when ,i was a 
little boy ,i used to see steamers go   
down the ,mississippi river with        
hundreds of men and women chained hand  
to hand1 and even children1 and men     
standing about them with whips in their 
hands and pistols in their pockets in   
the name of liberty1 in the name of     
civilization and in the name of         

religion6  ,i used to hear them preach  
to these slaves in the ,south and the   
only text they ever took was  ,servants1
 be obedient unto your masters4  ,that  
was the salutation of the most merciful 
,god to a man whose back was bleeding1  
that was the salutation of the most     
merciful ,god to the slave mother       
bending over an empty cradle1 to the    
woman from whose breast a child had been
 stolen--,servants1 be obedient unto you
 masters4  ,that was what they said to a
 man running for his life and for his   
liberty through tangled swamps and      
listening to the baying of bloodhounds1 
and when he listened for them the voice 
came from heaven3  ,servants1 be        
obedient unto your masters4  ,that is   
civilization4  ,think what slaves we    
have been6  ,think how we have crouched 
and cringed before wealth even6  ,how   
they used to cringe in old times before 
a man who was rich--there are so many of
 them gone into bankruptcy lately that  
we are losing a little of our fear4  ,we

 used to worship the golden calf1 and   
the worst you can say of us now1 is1 we 
worship the gold of the calf1 and even  
the calves are beginning to see this    
distinction4  ,we used to go down on our
 knees to every man that held office2   
now he must fill it if he wishes any    
respect4  ,we care nothing for the rich1
 except what will they do with their    
money8 ,do they benefit mankind8  ,that 
is the question4  ,you say this man     
holds an office4  ,how does he fill     
it8--that is the question4 ,and there is
 rapidly growing up in the world an     
aristocracy of heart and brain--the only
 aristocracy that has a right to exist4 
,we are getting free4  ,we are thinking 
in every direction4  ,we are            
investigating with the microscope and   
the telescope4  ,we are digging into the
 earth and finding souvenirs of all the 
ages4  ,we are finding out something    
about the laws of health and disease4   
,we are adding years to the span of     
human life and we are making the world  

fit to live in4 ,that is what we are    
doing1 and every man that has an honest 
thought and expresses it1 helps1 and    
every man that tries to keep honest     
thought from being expressed is an      
obstruction and a hindrance4  ,now if   
men have been slaves what shall we say  
of women8  ,they have been the slaves of
 slaves4  ,the meaner a man is1 the     
better he thinks he is than a woman4    
,as a rule1 you take an ignorant1 brutal
 man--don't talk to him about a woman   
governing him1 he don't believe it--not 
he2 and nearly every religion of this   
world has been gallant enough to account
 for all the trouble and misfortune we  
have had by the crime of woman4  ,even  
if it is true1 ,i do not care2 ,i had   
rather live in a world full of trouble  
with the woman ,i love than in heaven   
with nobody but men4 ,nearly every      
religion accounts for all the trouble we
 have ever had by the crime of woman4   
,i recollect one book where ,i read an  
account of what is called the           

creation--,i am not giving the exact    
words1 ,i will give the substance of it4
  ,the supreme being thought best to    
make a world and one man--never thought 
about making a woman at that time2      
making a woman was a second thought1 and
 ,i am free to admit that second        
thoughts as a rule are best4  ,he made  
this world and one man1 and put this man
 in a park1 or garden1 or public square1
 or whatever you might call it1 to dress
 and keep it4  ,the man had nothing to  
do4  ,he moped around there as though he
 was waiting for a train4  ,and the     
supreme being noticed that he got       
lonesome--,i am glad ,he did6 ,it       
occurred to ,him that he would make a   
companion1 and having made the world and
 one man out of nothing1 and having used
 up all the nothing1 ,he had to take a  
part of the man to start the woman      
with--,i am not giving the exact        
language1 neither do ,i say this story  
is true4  ,i do not know4  ,i would not 
want to deceive anybody4  ,so sleep fell

 upon this man1 and they took from his  
side a rib--the ,french would call it a 
cutlet4  ,and out of that they made a   
woman1 and taking into consideration the
 amount and quality of the raw material 
used1 ,i look upon it as the most       
successful job ever accomplished in this
 world4  ,i am giving just a rough      
outline of this story4  ,after ,he got  
the woman done she was brought to the   
man--not to see how she liked him1 but  
to see how he liked her4  ,he liked her 
and they went to keeping house4 ,before 
she was made there was really nothing to
 do2 there was no news1 no politics1 no 
religion1 not even civil service reform4
 ,and as the devil had not yet put in an
 appearance1 there was no chance to     
conciliate him4  ,they started in the   
housekeeping business1 and they were    
told they could do anything they liked  
except eat an apple4  ,of course they   
ate it4  ,i would have done it myself ,i
 know4  ,i am satisfied ,i would have   
had an apple off that tree1 if ,i had   

been there1 in fifteen minutes4  ,they  
were caught at it1 and they were turned 
out1 and there was an extra police force
 put on to keep them from coming in     
again4  ,and then measles1 and          
whooping-cough1 mumps1 etc41 started in 
the race of man1 roses began to have    
thorns and snakes began to have teeth1  
and people began to fight about religion
 and politics1 and they have been       
fighting and scratching each other's    
eyes out from that day to this4  ,i read
 in another book an account of the same 
transaction4  ,they tell us the ,supreme
 ,brahma made up his mind to make a man1
 a woman1 and a world2 and that he put  
this man and woman in the island of     
,ceylon4 ,according to the description1 
it was the most beautiful isle that ever
 existed2 it beggared the description of
 a ,chicago land agent completely4  ,it 
was delightful2 the branches of the     
trees were so arranged that when the    
wind swept through them they seemed like
 a thousand aeolian harps1 and the man  

was named ,adami1 and the ,woman's name 
was ,heva4  ,this book was written about
 three or four thousand years before the
 other one1 and all the commentators in 
this country agree that the story that  
was written first was copied from the   
one that was written last4  ,i hope you 
will not let a matter of three or four  
thousand years interfere with your ideas
 on the subject4  ,the ,supreme ,brahma 
said3  ,let them have a period of       
courtship1 because it is my desire that 
true love always should precede         
marriage--and that was so much better   
than lugging her up to him and saying1  
,do you like her8 that upon my word ,i  
said when ,i read it1 ,if either one of 
these stories turn out to be true1 ,i   
hope it will be this one4  ,they had a  
courtship in the starlight and          
moonlight1 and perfume-laden air1 with  
the nightingale singing his song of joy1
 and they got in love4 ,there was nobody
 to bother them1 no prospective fathers 
or mothers-in-law1 no gossiping         

neighbors1 nobody to say ,young man1 how
 do you propose to support her--they got
 in love and they were married1 and they
 started keeping house1 and the ,supreme
 ,brahma said to them3 ,you must not    
leave this island4 ,after awhile the man
 got uneasy--wanted to go west4  ,he    
went to the western extremity of the    
island1 and there the devil got up1 and 
when he looked over on the mainland he  
saw such hills and valleys and torrents1
 and such mountains crowned with snow2  
such cataracts1 robed in glory1 that he 
went right back to ,heva4  ,says he3    
,come over here2 it is a thousand times 
better2  says he3 let us emigrate4  ,she
 said1 like another woman3 ,no1 let well
 enough alone2 we have no rent to pay1  
and no taxes2 we are doing very well    
now1 let us stay where we are4  ,but he 
insisted1 and so she went with him1 and 
when he got to this western extremity1  
where there was a little neck of land   
leading to this better land1 he took her
 on his back and walked over1 and the   

moment he got over he heard a crash1 and
 he looked back and this narrow neck of 
land had sunk into the sea1 leaving here
 and there a rock 7and those rocks are  
called even unto this day the footsteps 
of ,adami71 and when he looked back this
 beautiful mirage had disappeared4      
,instead of verdure and flowers there   
was naught but rocks and sand1 and then 
he heard the voice of the ,supreme      
,brahma crying out cursing them both to 
the lowest hell1 and then it was that   
,adami said3  ,curse me1 if you choose1 
but not her2 it was not her fault1 it   
was mine2 curse me4 ,that is the kind of
 a man to start a world with4  ,and the 
,supreme ,brahma said ,i will spare her1
 but ,i will not spare you4  ,then she  
spoke1 out of a breast so full of       
affection that she has left a legacy of 
love to all her daughters3  ,if thou    
wilt not spare him1 spare neither me1   
because ,i love him4  ,then the ,supreme
 ,brahma said--and ,i have liked him    
ever since--,i will spare both1 and     

watch over you and your children        
forever4  ,now1 really this story       
appears to me better than the other one4
  ,it is loftier2 there is more in it   
than ,i can admire4  ,in order to show  
you that humanity does not belong to any
 particular nation1 and that there are  
great and tender souls everywhere1 let  
me tell you a little more that is in    
this book4 ,blessed is that man1 and    
beloved of all the gods who is afraid of
 no man1 and of whom no man is afraid4  
,think of that kind of character6       
,another3  ,man is strength1 woman is   
beauty2 man is courage1 woman is love2  
and where the one man loves the one     
woman the very angels leave heaven and  
come and sit in that house and sing for 
joy4  ,i think that is nearly equal to  
this3  ,if you do not want your wife1   
give her a writing of divorcement1 and  
make the mother of your children a      
houseless wanderer and a vagrant--nearly
 as good as that4  ,i believe that      
marriage should be a perfect            

partnership2 that woman should have all 
the rights that man has1 and one        
more--the right to be protected4  ,i    
believe in marriage4  ,it took hundreds 
and thousands of years for woman to get 
from a state of abject slavery up to the
 height even of marriage4  ,i have not  
the slightest respect for the ideas of  
those short-haired women and long-haired
 men who denounce the institution of the
 family1 who denounce the institution of
 marriage2 but ,i hold in greater       
contempt the husband who would enslave  
his wife4 ,i hold in greater contempt   
the man who is anything in his family   
except love and tenderness1 and         
kindness4  ,i say it took hundreds of   
years for woman to come from a state of 
slavery to marriage2 and ladies1 the    
chains that are upon your necks and the 
bracelets that are put upon your arms   
were iron1 and they have been changed by
 the touch of the wand of civilization  
to shining1 glittering gold4  ,woman    
came from a condition of abject slavery 

and thousands and thousands of them are 
in that condition now4  ,i believe      
marriage should be a perfect and equal  
partnership4  ,i do not like a man who  
thinks he is boss4  ,that fellow in the 
dug-out was always talking about being  
boss4  ,i do not like a man who thinks  
he is the head of the family4  ,i do not
 like a man who thinks he has got       
authority and that the woman belongs to 
him--that wants for his wife a slave4   
,i would not have a slave for my wife4  
,i would not want the love of a woman   
that is not great enough1 grand enough1 
and splendid enough to be free4  ,i will
 never give to any woman my heart upon  
whom ,i afterwards would put chains4    
,do you know sometimes ,i think         
generosity is about the only virtue     
there is4  ,how ,i do hate a man that   
has to be begged and importuned every   
minute for a few cents by his wife4     
,give me a dollar8  ,what did you do    
with that fifty cents ,i gave you last  
,christmas8  ,if you make your wife a   

perpetual beggar1 what kind of children 
do you expect to raise with a beggar for
 their mother8  ,if you want great      
children1 if you want to people this    
world with great and grand men and women
 they must be born of love and liberty4 
,i have known men that would trust a    
woman with their heart--if you call that
 thing which pushes their blood around a
 heart2 and with their honor--if you    
call that fear1 of getting into the     
penitentiary1 honor2 ,i have known men  
that would trust that heart and that    
honor with a woman1 but not their       
pocket-book--not a dollar bill4  ,when  
,i see a man of that kind1 ,i think they
 know better than ,i do which of these  
three articles is the most valuable4  ,i
 believe if you have got a dollar in the
 world and you have got to spend it1    
spend it like a man2 spend it like a    
king1 like a prince4  ,if you have to   
spend it1 spend it as though it was a   
dried leaf1 and you were the owner of   
unbounded forests4  ,i had rather be a  

beggar and spend my last dollar like a  
king than be a king and spend my money  
like a beggar4  ,what is it worth       
compared with the love of a splendid    
woman8  ,people tell me that is very    
good doctrine for rich folks1 but it    
won't do for poor folks4  ,i tell you   
that there is more love in the huts and 
homes of the poor1 than in the mansions 
of the rich1 and the meanest but with   
love in it is a palace fit for the gods1
 and a palace without that1 is a den    
only fit for wild beasts4 ,the man who  
has the love of one splendid woman is a 
rich man4 ,joy is wealth1 and love is   
the legal tender of the soul6  ,love is 
the only thing that will pay ten percent
 to borrower and lender both2 and if    
some men were as ashamed of appearing   
cross in public as they are of appearing
 tender at home1 this world would be    
infinitely better4  ,i think you can    
make your home a heaven if you want     
to--you can make up your minds to that4 
,when a man comes home let him come home

 like a ray of light in the night       
bursting through the doors and          
illuminating the darkness4  ,what right 
has a man to assassinate joy1 and murder
 happiness in the sanctuary of love--to 
be a cross man1 a peevish man--is that  
the way he courted8  ,was there always  
something ailing him8  ,was he too      
nervous to hear her speak8 ,when ,i see 
a man of that kind ,i am always sorry   
that doctors know so much about         
preserving life as they do4  ,it is not 
necessary to be rich1 nor powerful1 nor 
great to be a success2 and neither is it
 necessary to have your name between the
 putrid lips of rumor to be great4  ,we 
have had a false standard of success4   
,in the years when ,i was a little boy  
we read in our books that no fellow was 
a success that did not make a fortune or
 get a big office1 and he generally was 
a man that slept about three hours a    
night4  ,they never put down in the     
books the names of those gentlemen that 
succeeded in life that slept all they   

wanted to2 and we all thought that we   
could not sleep to exceed three or four 
hours if we ever expected to be anything
 in this world4  ,we have had a wrong   
standard4  ,the happy man is the        
successful man2 and the man who makes   
somebody else happy1 is a happy man4    
,the man that has gained the love of one
 good1 splendid1 pure woman1 his life   
has been a success1 no matter if he dies
 in the ditch2 and if he gets to be a   
crowned monarch of the world1 and never 
had the love of one splendid heart1 his 
life has been an ashen vapor4  ,a little
 while ago ,i stood by the tomb of the  
first ,napoleon1 a magnificent tomb of  
gilt and gold1 fit almost for a dead    
deity1 and here was a great circle1 and 
in the bottom there1 in a sarcophagus1  
rested at last the ashes of that        
restless man4  ,i looked at that tomb1  
and ,i thought about the career of the  
greatest soldier of the modern world4   
,as ,i looked1 in imagination ,i could  
see him walking up and down the banks of

 the ,seine contemplating suicide4  ,i  
could see him at ,toulon2 ,i could see  
him at ,paris1 putting down the mob2 ,i 
could see him at the head of the army of
 ,italy2 ,i could see him crossing the  
bridge of ,lodi1 with the tri-color in  
his hand2 ,i saw him in ,egypt1 fighting
 battles under the shadow of the        
,pyramids2 ,i saw him returning2 ,i saw 
him conquer the ,alps1 and mingle the   
eagles of ,france with the eagles of    
,italy2 ,i saw him at ,marengo1 ,i saw  
him at ,austerlitz2 ,i saw him in       
,russia1 where the infantry of the snow 
and the blast smote his legions1 when   
death rode the icy winds of winter4  ,i 
saw him at ,leipsic2 hurled back upon   
,paris1 banished2 and ,i saw him escape 
from ,elba and retake an empire by the  
force of his genius4  ,i saw him at the 
field of ,waterloo1 where fate and      
chance combined to wreck the fortune of 
their former king4  ,i saw him at ,st4  
,helena1 with his hands behind his back1
 gazing out upon the sad and solemn sea1

 and ,i thought of all the widows he had
 made1 of all the orphans1 of all the   
tears that had been shed for his glory2 
and ,i thought of the woman1 the only   
woman who ever loved him1 pushed from   
his heart by the cold hand of ambition  
and ,i said to myself1 as ,i gazed1 ,i  
would rather have been a ,french peasant
 and worn wooden shoes1 and lived in a  
little hut but with a vine running over 
the door and the purple grapes growing  
red in the amorous kisses of the autumn 
sun--,i would rather have been that poor
 ,french peasant1 to sit in my door1    
with my wife knitting by my side and my 
children upon my knees with their arms  
around my neck--,i would rather have    
lived and died unnoticed and unknown    
except by those who loved me1 and gone  
down to the voiceless silence of the    
dreamless dust--,i would rather have    
been that ,french peasant than to have  
been that imperial impersonation of     
force and murder who covered ,europe    
with blood and tears4  ,i tell you ,i   

had rather make somebody happy1 ,i would
 rather have the love of somebody2 ,i   
would rather go to the forest1 far away1
 and build me a little cabin--build it  
myself and daub it with mud1 and live   
there with my wife and children2 ,i had 
rather go there and live by myself--our 
little family--and have a little path   
that led down to the spring1 where the  
water bubbled out day and night like a  
little poem from the heart of the earth2
 a little hut with some hollyhocks at   
the corner1 with their bannered bosoms  
open to the sun1 and with the thrush in 
the air1 like a song of joy in the      
morning2 ,i would rather live there and 
have some lattice work across the       
window1 so that the sunlight would fall 
checkered on the baby in the cradle2 ,i 
would rather live there and have my soul
 erect and free1 than to live in a      
palace of gold and wear the crown of    
imperial power and know that my soul was
 slimy with hypocrisy4  ,it is not      
necessary to be rich and great and      

powerful in order to be happy4  ,if you 
will treat your wife like a splendid    
flower1 she will fill your life with a  
perfume and with joy4  ,i believe in the
 democracy of the fireside1 ,i believe  
in the republicism of home1 in the      
equality of man and woman1 in the       
equality of husband and wife1 and for   
this ,i am denounced by the sentinels   
upon the walls of ,zion4  ,they say     
there must be a head to the family4  ,i 
say no--equal rights for man and wife1  
and where there is really love there is 
liberty1 and where the idea of authority
 comes in you will find that love has   
spread its pinions and flown forever4   
,it is a splendid thing for me to think 
that when a woman really loves a man he 
never grows old in her eyes2 she always 
sees the gallant gentleman that won her 
hand and heart2 and when a man really   
and truly loves a woman she does not    
grow old to him2 through the wrinkles of
 years he sees the face he loved and    
won4  ,that is all there is in this     

world--all the rest amounts to          
nothing--it is a tale told by an idiot  
signifying nothing4  ,you take from the 
family love1 and nothing is left4       
,there must be equality2 there must be  
no master2 there must be no servant4    
,there must be equality and kindness4   
,the man should be infinitely tender    
towards the woman--and why8--because she
 cannot go at hard work1 she cannot make
 her own living4  ,she has squandered   
her wealth of beauty and youth upon him4
  ,now1 if women have been slaves1 what 
do you say about children8 ,children    
have been the slaves of the slaves4  ,i 
know children that turn pale with fright
 when they hear their mother's voice2   
children of property2 children of crime1
 children of sub-cellars2 children of   
the narrow streets1 the flotsam and     
jetsam upon the wild1 rude sea of       
life--my heart goes out to them one and 
all2 ,i say they have all the rights we 
have and one more--the right to be      
protected4  ,i believe in governing     

children by kindness1 by love1 by       
tenderness4  ,if a child commits a fault
 take it in your arms1 let your heart   
beat against its heart2 don't go and    
talk to it about hell and the bankruptcy
 of the universe4  ,if your child tells 
a lie--what of it8  ,be honest with the 
child1 tell him you have told hundreds  
of them yourself4 ,then your child will 
not be afraid to tell you when it       
commits a fault2 it will not regard you 
as old perfection1 until it gets a few  
years older1 and finds you are an old   
hypocrite--and you cannot put a thick   
enough veil upon you but what the eyes  
of childhood will peep through it2 they 
will see2 they will find out2 and when  
your child tells a lie1 examine         
yourself1 and in all probability you    
will find you have been a tyrant4 ,a    
tyrant father will have liars for his   
children4  ,a liar is born of tyranny on
 the one hand and fear on the other4    
,truth comes from the lips of courage4  
,it is born in confidence and honor4    

,if you want a child to tell you the    
truth you want to be a faithful man     
yourself4 ,you go at your little child1 
five or six years old1 with a stick in  
your hand--what is he to do8 ,tell the  
truth8 ,then he will get whipped4 ,what 
is he to do8  ,i thank ,mother ,nature  
for putting ingenuity in the mind of a  
little child so that when it is attacked
 by a brutal parent it throws up a      
little breastwork in the shape of a lie4
  ,that being done by nations it is     
called strategy1 and many a general     
wears his honors for having practiced   
it2 and will you deny it to little      
children to protect themselves from     
brutal parents4  ,supposing a man as    
much larger than we are1 larger than    
child would come at us with a           
liberty-pole in his hand and would shout
 in tones of thunder1 ,who broke that   
plate8  ,every one of us--including     
myself--would just stand right up and   
swear either that we never saw that     
plate1 or that it was cracked when we   

got it4  ,give a child a chance2 there  
is no other way to have children tell   
the truth--tell the truth to them--keep 
your contracts with your children the   
same as you would to your banker4  ,i   
was up at ,grand ,rapids1 ,michigan1 the
 other day4  ,there was a gentleman     
there1 and his wife1 who had promised to
 take their little boy for a ride every 
night for ten days1 or every day for ten
 days1 but they did not do it4  ,they   
slipped out to the barn and they went   
without him4 ,the day before ,i was     
there they played the same game on him  
again4 ,he is a nice little boy1 an     
,american boy1 a boy with brains1 one of
 those boys that don't take the         
hatchet-story as a fact2 he had his own 
ideas4 ,they fooled him again1 and they 
came around the corner as big as life1  
man and wife4  ,the little fellow was   
standing on the door step with his      
nurse1 and he looked at them1 and he    
made this remark3 ,there go the two     
damndest liars in ,grand ,rapids4  ,i   

merely tell you this story to show you  
that children have level heads2 they    
understand this business4  ,teach your  
children to tell you the truth--tell    
them the truth4 ,if there is one here   
that ever intends to whip his child ,i  
have a favor to ask4 ,have your         
photograph taken when you are in the    
act1 with your red and vulgar face1 your
 brow corrugated1 pretending you would  
rather be whipped yourself4  ,have the  
child's photograph taken too1 with his  
eyes streaming with tears1 and his chin 
dimpled with fear1 as a little sheet of 
water struck by a sudden cold wind2 and 
if your child should die ,i cannot think
 of a sweeter way to spend an afternoon 
than to go to the graveyard in the      
autumn1 when the maples are clad in pink
 and gold1 when the little scarlet      
runners come like poems out of the      
breast of the earth--go there and sit   
down and look at that photograph and    
think of the flesh1 now dust1 and how   
you caned it to writhe in pain and      

agony4  ,i will tell you what ,i am     
doing2 ,i am doing what little ,i can to
 save the flesh of children4  ,you have 
no right to whip them4  ,it is not the  
way2 and yet some ,christians drive     
their children from their doors if they 
do wrong1 especially if it is a sweet1  
tender girl--,i believe there is no     
instance on record of any veal being    
given for the return of a girl--some    
,christians drive them from their doors 
and then go down upon their knees and   
ask ,god to take care of their children6
  ,i will never ask ,god to take care of
 my children unless ,i am doing my level
 best in that same direction4  ,some    
,christians act as though they thought  
when the ,lord said1 ,suffer little     
children to come unto me that he had a  
raw-hide under ,his mantle--they act as 
if they thought so4  ,that is all wrong4
  ,i tell yon my children this3  ,go    
where you may1 commit what crime you    
may1 fall to what depths of degradation 
you may1 ,i can never shut my arms1 my  

heart or my door to you4  ,as long as ,i
 live you shall have one sincere friend2
 do not be afraid to tell anything wrong
 you have done2 ten to one if ,i have   
not done the same thing4  ,i am not     
perfection1 and if it is necessary to   
sin in order to have sympathy1 ,i am    
glad ,i have committed sin enough to    
have sympathy4 ,the sternness of        
perfection ,i do not want4  ,i am going 
to live so that my children can come to 
my grave and truthfully say1 ,he who    
sleeps here never gave us one moment of 
pain4  ,whether you call that religion  
or infidelity1 suit yourselves2 that is 
the way ,i intend to do it4  ,when ,i   
was a little fellow most everybody      
thought that some days were too sacred  
for the young ones to enjoy themselves  
in4  ,that was the general idea4        
,sunday used to commence ,saturday night
 at sundown1 under the old text1 ,the   
evening and the morning were the first  
day4  ,they commenced then1 ,i think1 to
 get a good ready4  ,when the sun went  

down ,saturday night1 darkness ten      
thousand times deeper than ordinary     
night fell upon the house4 ,the boy that
 looked the sickest was regarded as the 
most pious4 ,you could not crack hickory
 nuts that night1 and if you were caught
 chewing gum it was another evidence of 
the total depravity of the human heart4 
,it was a very solemn evening4  ,we     
would sometimes sing ,another ,day has  
,passed4  ,everybody looked as though   
they had the dyspepsia--you know lots of
 people think they are pious1 just      
because they are bilious1 as ,mr4 ,hood 
says4 ,it was a solemn night1 and the   
next morning the solemnity had          
increased4  ,then we went to church1 and
 the minister was in a pulpit about     
twenty feet high4  ,if it was in the    
winter there was no fire2 it was not    
thought proper to be comfortable while  
you were thanking the ,lord4  ,the      
minister commenced at firstly and ran up
 to about twenty-fourthly1 and then he  
divided it up again2 and then he made   

some concluding remarks1 and then he    
said lastly1 and when he said lastly he 
was about half through4  ,then we had   
what we called the catechism--the chief 
end of man4  ,i think that has a        
tendency to make a boy kind of bubble up
 cheerfully4  ,we sat along on a bench  
with our feet about eight inches from   
the floor4 ,the minister said1 ,boys1 do
 you know what becomes of the wicked8   
,we all answered as cheerfully as       
grasshoppers sing in ,minnesota1 ,yes1  
sir4  ,do you know1 boys1 that you all  
ought to go to hell8  ,yes1 sir4  ,as a 
final test3  ,boys1 would you be willing
 to go to hell if it was ,god's will8   
,and every little liar said1 ,yes1 sir4 
,the dear old minister used to try to   
impress upon our minds about how long we
 would stay there after we got there1   
and he used to say in an awful tone of  
voice--do you know ,i think that is what
 gives them the bronchitis--that        
tone--you never heard of an auctioneer  
having it--,suppose that once in a      

billion of years a bird were to come    
from some far1 distant clime and carry  
off in its bill a grain of sand1 when   
the time came when the last animal      
matter of which this mundane sphere is  
composed would be carried away1 said he1
 boys1 by that time in hell it would not
 be sun up4  ,we had this sermon in the 
morning and the same one in the         
afternoon1 only he commenced at the     
other end4 ,then we started home full of
 doctrine--we went sadly and sole       
solemnly back4  ,if it was in the summer
 and the weather was good and we had    
been good boys1 they used to take us    
down to the graveyard1 and to cheer us  
up we had a little conversation about   
coffins1 and shrouds1 and worms1 and    
bones1 and dust1 and ,i must admit that 
it did cheer me up when ,i looked at    
those sunken graves those stones1 those 
names half effaced with the decay of    
years4  ,i felt cheered1 for ,i said1   
,this thing can't last always4  ,then we
 had to read a good deal4  ,we were not 

allowed to read joke books or anything  
of that kind4  ,we read ,baxter's ,call 
to the ,unconverted2  ,fox's ,book of   
,martyrs2 ,milton's ,history of the     
,waldenses1 and ,jenkins on the         
,atonement4  ,i generally read ,jenkins2
 and ,i have often thought that the     
atonement ought to be pretty broad in   
its provisions to cover the case of a   
man that would write a book like that   
for a boy4  ,then we used to go and see 
how the sun was getting on--when the sun
 was down the thing was over4  ,i would 
sit three or four hours reading         
,jenkins1 and then go out and the sun   
would not have gone down perceptibly4   
,i used to think it stuck there out of  
simple1 pure cussedness4  ,but it went  
down at last1 it had to2 that was a part
 of the plan1 and as the last rim of    
light would sink below the horizon1 off 
would go our hats and we would give     
three cheers for liberty once again4 ,i 
do not believe in making ,sunday hateful
 for children4  ,i believe in allowing  

them to be happy1 and no day can be so  
sacred but that the laugh of a child    
will make it holier still4  ,there is no
 ,god in the heavens that is pleased at 
the sadness of childhood4  ,you cannot  
make me believe that4  ,you fill their  
poor1 little1 sweet hearts with the     
fearful doctrine of hell4  ,a little    
child goes out into the garden2 there is
 a tree covered with a glory of blossoms
 and the child leans against it1 and    
there is a little bird on the bough     
singing and swinging1 and the waves of  
melody run out of its tiny throat1      
thinking about four little speckled eggs
 in the nest1 warmed by the breast of   
its mate1 and the air is filled with    
perfume1 and that little child leans    
against that tree and thinks about hell 
and the worm that never dies2 think of  
filling the mind of a child with that   
infamous dogma6  ,where was that        
doctrine of hell born8  ,where did it   
come from8 ,it came from that gentleman 
in the dug-out2  it was a souvenir from 

the lower animal4  ,i honestly believe  
that the doctrine of hell was born in   
the glittering eyes of snakes that run  
in frightful coils watching for their   
prey4  ,i believe it was born in the    
yelping and howling and growling and    
snarling of wild beasts1 ,i believe it  
was born in the grin of hyenas and in   
the malicious chatter of depraved apes1 
,i despise it1 ,i defy it and hate it2  
and when the great ship freighted with  
the world goes down in the night of     
death1 chaos and disaster1 ,i will not  
be guilty of the ineffable meanness of  
pushing from my breast my wife and      
children and padding off in some        
orthodox canoe4  ,i will go down with   
those ,i love and with those who love   
me4  ,i will go down with the ship and  
with my race4  ,i will go where there is
 sympathy4  ,i will go with those ,i    
love4 ,nothing can make me believe that 
there is any being that is going to burn
 and torment and damn his children      
forever4  ,no1 sir6 ,you will never make

 me believe you can divide the world up 
into saints and sinners1 and that the   
saints are all going to heaven and the  
others to hell4 ,i don't believe that   
you can draw the line4  ,you are        
sometimes in the presence of a great    
disaster2 there is a fire2 at the fourth
 story window you see the white face of 
a woman with a child in her arms1 and   
humanity calls out for somebody to go to
 the rescue through that smoke and      
flame1 maybe death4  ,they don't call   
for a ,baptist1 nor a ,presbyterian1 nor
 a ,methodist1 but humanity calls for a 
man4  ,and all at once1 out steps       
somebody that nobody ever did think was 
much1 not a very good man1 and yet he   
springs up the ladder and is lost in the
 smoke1 and a moment afterward he       
emerges1 and the cruel serpents of fire 
climb and hiss around his brave form1   
but he goes on and you see that woman   
and child in his arms1 and you see them 
come down and they are handed to the    
bystanders1 and he has fainted1 maybe1  

and the crowd stand hushed1 as they     
always do1 in the presence of a grand   
action1 and a moment after the air is   
rent with a cheer4  ,tell me that that  
man is going to hell1 who is willing to 
lose his life merely to keep a woman and
 child from the torment of a moment's   
flame--tell me that he is going to hell2
 ,i tell you that it is a falsehood1 and
 if anybody says so he is mistaken4  ,i 
have seen upon the battlefield a boy    
sixteen years of age struck by the      
fragment of a shell and life oozing     
slowly from the ragged lips of his      
death-wound1 and ,i have heard him and  
seen him die with a curse upon his lips1
 and he had the face of his mother in   
his heart4  ,do you tell me that that   
boy left that field where he died that  
the flag of his country might wave      
forever in the air--do you tell me that 
he went from that field1 where he lost  
his life in defense of the liberties of 
men1 to an eternal hell8 ,i tell you it 
is infamous6--and such a doctrine as    

that would tarnish the reputation of a  
hyena and smirch the fair fame of an    
anaconda4  ,let us see whether we are to
 believe it or not4  ,we had a war a    
little while ago and there was a draft  
made1 and there was many a good         
,christian hired another fellow to take 
his place1 hired one that was wicked1   
hired a sinner to go to hell in his     
place for five hundred dollars6  ,while 
if he was killed he would go to heaven4 
,think of that4 ,think of a man willing 
to do that for five hundred dollars6  ,i
 tell you when you come right down to it
 they have got too much heart to believe
 it2 they say they do1 but they do not  
appreciate it4  ,they do not believe it4
  ,they would go crazy if they did4     
,they would go insane4 ,if a woman      
believed it1 looking upon her little    
dimpled darling in the cradle1 and said1
 ,nineteen chances in twenty ,i am      
raising fuel for hell1 she would go     
crazy4  ,they don't believe it1 and     
can't believe it4 ,the old doctrine was 

that the angels in heaven would become  
happier as they looked upon those in    
hell4  ,that is not the doctrine now2 we
 have civilized it4  ,that is not the   
doctrine4  ,what is the doctrine now8   
,the doctrine is that those in heaven   
can look upon the agonies of those in   
hell1 whether it is a fire or whatever  
it is1 without having the happiness of  
those in heaven decreased--that is the  
doctrine4  ,that is preached today in   
every orthodox pulpit in ,harrisburg4   
,let me put one case and ,i will be     
through with this branch of the subject4
  ,a husband and wife love each other4  
,the husband is a good fellow and the   
wife a splendid woman4  ,they live and  
love each other and all at once he is   
taken sick1 and they watch day after day
 and night after night around his       
bedside until their property is wasted  
and finally she has to go to work1 and  
she works through eyes blinded with     
tears1 and the sentinel of love watches 
at the bedside of her prince1 and at the

 least breath or the least motion she is
 awake2 and she attends him night after 
night and day after day for years1 and  
finally he dies1 and she has him in her 
arms and covers his wasted face with the
 tears of agony and love4  ,he is a     
believer and she is not4  ,he dies1 and 
she buries him and puts flowers above   
his grave1 and she goes there in the    
twilight of evening and she takes her   
children1 and tells her little boys and 
girls through her tears how brave and   
how true and how tender their father    
was1 and finally she dies and she goes  
to hell1 because she was not a believer2
 and he goes to the battlements of      
heaven and looks over and sees the woman
 who loved him with all the wealth of   
her love1 and whose tears made his dead 
face holy and sacred1 and he looks upon 
her in the agonies of hell without      
having his happiness diminished in the  
least4  ,with all due respect to        
everybody1 ,i say1 damn any such        
doctrine as that4  ,it is infamous6  ,it

 never ought to be preached2 it never   
ought to be believed4  ,we ought to be  
true to our hearts1 and the best        
revelation of the infinite is the human 
heart4  ,now1 ,i come back to where ,i  
started from4  ,they used to think that 
a certain day was too good for a child  
to be happy in1 so they filled the      
imagination of this child with these    
horrors of hell4  ,i said1 and ,i say   
again1 no day can be so sacred but that 
the laugh of a child will make the      
holiest day more sacred still4 ,strike  
with hand of fire1 oh1 weird musician1  
thy harp1 strung with ,apollo's golden  
hair2 fill the vast cathedral aisles    
with symphonies sweet and dim1 deft     
toucher of the organ keys2 blow bugler1 
blow1 until thy silver notes do touch   
the skies1 with moonlit waves1 and charm
 the lovers wandering on the vine-clad  
hills2 but know1 your sweetest strains  
are discords all1 compared with         
childhood's happy laugh1 the laugh that 
fills the eyes with light and every     

heart with joy2 oh1 rippling river of   
life1 thou art the blessed boundary-line
 between the beasts and man1 and every  
wayward wave of thine doth drown some   
fiend of care2 oh1 laughter1 divine     
daughter of joy1 make dimples enough in 
the cheeks of the world to catch and    
hold and glorify all the tears of grief4
  ,i am opposed to any religion that    
makes them melancholy1 that makes       
children sad1 and that fills the human  
heart with shadow4  ,give a child a     
chance4  ,when ,i was a boy we always   
went to bed when we were not sleepy1 and
 we always got up when we were sleepy4  
,let a child commence at which end of   
the day they please1 that is their      
business2 they know more about it than  
all the doctors in the world4  ,the     
voice of nature when a man is free1 is  
the voice of right1 but when his        
passions have been damned up by custom1 
the moment that is withdrawn1 he rushes 
to some excess4  ,let him be free from  
the first4  ,let your children grow in  

the free air and they will fill your    
house with perfume4 ,do not create a    
child to be a post set in an orthodox   
row2 raise investigators and thinkers1  
not disciples and followers2 cultivate  
reason1 not faith2 cultivate            
investigation1 not superstition2 and if 
you have any doubt yourself about a     
thing being so1 tell them about it2     
don't tell them the world was made in   
six days--if you think six days means   
six good whiles1 tell them six good     
whiles4  ,if you have any doubts about  
anybody being in a furnace and not being
 burnt1 or even getting uncomfortably   
warm1 tell them so--be honest about it4 
,if you look upon the jaw-bone of a     
donkey as not a good weapon1 say so4    
,give a child a chance4  ,if you think a
 man never went to sea in a fish1 tell  
them so1 it won't make them any worse4  
,be honest--that is all2 don't cram     
their heads with things that will take  
them years and years to unlearn2 tell   
them facts--it is just as easy4  ,it is 

as easy to find out botany1 and         
astronomy1 and geology1 and history--it 
is as easy to find out all these things 
as to cram their minds with things you  
know nothing about199 and where a child 
knows what the name of a flower is when 
it sees it1 the name of a bird and all  
those things1 the world becomes         
interesting everywhere1 and they do not 
pass by the flowers--they are not deaf  
to all the songs of birds1 simply       
because they are walking along thinking 
about hell4  99 ,we know of no          
difference between matter and spirit1   
because we know nothing with certainty  
about either4  ,why trouble ourselves   
about matters of which1 however         
important they may be we do know nothing
 and can know nothing8--,huxley  ,i tell
 you1 this is a pretty good world if we 
only love somebody in it1 if we only    
make somebody happy1 if we are only     
honor-bright in it1 if we have no fear4 
,that is my doctrine4  ,i like to hear  
children at the table telling what big  

things they have seen during the day2 ,i
 like to hear their merry voices        
mingling with the clatter of knives and 
forks4 ,i had rather hear that than any 
opera that was ever put on the stage4 ,i
 hate this idea of authority4  ,i hate  
dignity4  ,i never saw a dignified man  
that was not after all an old idiot4    
,dignity is a mask2 a dignified man is  
afraid that you will know he does not   
know everything4 ,a man of sense and    
argument is always willing to admit what
 he don't know--why8--because there is  
so much that he does know2 and that is  
the first step towards learning         
anything--willingness to admit what you 
don't know and when you don't understand
 a thing1 ask--no matter how small and  
silly it may look to other people--ask1 
and after that you know4  ,a man never  
is in a state of mind that he can learn 
until he gets that dignified nonsense   
out of him1 and so1 ,i say let us treat 
our children with perfect kindness and  
tenderness4  ,now1 then1 ,i believe in  

absolute intellectual liberty2 that a   
man has a right to think1 and think     
wrong1 provided he does the best he can 
to think right--that is all4  ,i have no
 right to say that ,mr4 ,smith shall not
 think2 ,mr4 ,smith has no right to say 
,i shall not think2 ,i have no right to 
go and pull a clergyman out of his      
pulpit and say3  ,you shall not preach  
that doctrine1 but ,i have just as much 
right as he has to say my say4  ,i have 
no right to lie about a clergyman1 and  
with great modesty ,i claim--and with   
some timidity--that he has no right to  
slander me--that is all4  ,i claim that 
every man and wife are equal1 except    
that she has a right to be protected2   
that there is nothing like the democracy
 of the home and the republicism of the 
fire-side1 and that a man should study  
to make his wife's life one perpetual   
poem of joy2 that there should be       
nothing but kindness and goodness2 and  
then ,i say that children should be     
governed by love1 by kindness1 by       

tenderness1 and by the sympathy of love1
 kindness and tenderness4 ,that is the  
religion ,i have got1 and it is good    
enough for me whether it suits anybody  
else in the world or not4 ,i think it is
 altogether more important to believe in
 my wife than it is to believe in the   
master2 ,i think it is altogether more  
important to love my children than the  
twelve apostles--that is my doctrine4   
,i may be wrong1 but that is it4  ,i    
think more of the living than ,i do of  
the dead4  ,this world is for the       
living4  ,the grave is not a throne1 and
 a corpse is not a king4  ,the living   
have a right to control this world4  ,i 
think a good deal more of today than ,i 
do of yesterday1 and ,i think more of   
tomorrow than ,i do of this day2 because
 it is nearly gone--that is the way ,i  
feel1 and this my creed4  ,the time to  
be happy is now2 the way to be happy is 
to make somebody else happy2 and the    
place to be happy is here4  ,i never    
will consent to drink skim milk here    

with the promise of cream somewhere     
else4  ,now1 my friends1 ,i have some   
excuses to offer for the race to which  
,i belong4  ,in the first place1 this   
world is not very well adapted to       
raising good people2 there is but       
one-quarter of it land to start with2 it
 is three times as well adapted to      
fish-culture as it is to man1 and of    
that one-quarter there is but a small   
belt where they raise men of genius4    
,there is one strip from which all the  
men and women of genius come4  ,when you
 go too far north yon find no brain2    
when you go too far south you find no   
genius1 and there never has been a high 
degree of civilization except where     
there is winter4  ,i say that winter is 
the father and mother of the fireside1  
the family of nations2 and around that  
fireside blossom the fruits of our race4
  ,in a country where they don't need   
any bed-clothes except the clouds1      
revolution is the normal condition not  
much civilization there4  ,when in the  

winter ,i go by a house where the       
curtain is a little bit drawn1 and ,i   
look in there and see children poking   
the fire and wishing they had as many   
dollars or knives or something else as  
there are sparks2 when ,i see the old   
man smoking and the smoke curling above 
his head like incense from the altar of 
domestic peace1 the other children      
reading or doing something1 and the old 
lady with her needle and shears--,i     
never pass such a scene that ,i do not  
feel a little ache of joy in my heart4  
,awhile ago they were talking about     
annexing ,san ,domingo4  ,they said it  
was the finest soil in the world1 and so
 on4  ,says ,i1 ,it don't raise the     
right kind of folks2 you take five      
thousand of the best people in the world
 and let them settle there and you will 
see the second generation barefooted1   
with the hair sticking out of the top of
 their sombreros2 you will see them     
riding barebacked1 with a rooster under 
each arm1 going to a cockfight on       

,sunday4  ,that is one excuse ,i have4  
,another is1 ,i think we came from the  
lower animals1 ,i am not dead sure of   
it4  ,on that question ,i stand about   
eight to seven4  ,if there is nothing of
 the snake1 or hyena1 or jackal in man1 
why would he cut his brother's throat   
for a difference of belief8 ,why would  
he build dungeons and burn the flesh of 
his brother man with red hot irons8  ,i 
think we came from the lower animals4   
,when ,i first heard that doctrine ,i   
did not like it4  ,i felt sorry for our 
,english friends1 who would have to     
trace their pedigree back to the ,duke  
of ,orangutan1 or the ,earl of          
,chimpanzee4 ,but ,i have read so much  
about rudimentary bones and rudimentary 
muscles that ,i began to doubt about it4
  ,says ,i3  ,what do you mean by       
rudimentary muscles8  ,they say3  ,a    
muscle that has gone into bankruptcy--  
,was it a large muscle8  ,yes4  ,what   
did our forefathers use it for8  ,they  
say3  ,to flap their ears with4 ,after  

,i found that out ,i was astonished to  
find that they had become rudimentary2  
,i know so many people for whom it would
 be handy today1 so many people where   
that would have been on an exact level  
with their intellectual development4    
,so after while ,i began to like it1 and
 says ,i to myself3  ,you have got to   
come to it4  ,i thought after all ,i had
 rather belong to a race of people that 
came from skull-less vertebrae in the   
dim ,laurentian period1 that wiggled    
without knowing they were wiggling1 that
 began to develop and came up by a      
gradual development until they struck   
this gentleman in the dug-out2 coming up
 slowly--up-up-up--until1 for instance1 
they produced such a man as             
,shakespeare--he who harvested all the  
fields of dramatic thought1 and after   
whom all others have been only gleaners 
of straw1 he who found the human        
intellect dwelling in a hut1 touched it 
with the wand of his genius and it      
became a palace--producing him and      

hundreds of others ,i might             
mention--with the angels of progress    
leaning over the far horizon beckoning  
this race of work and thought--,i had   
rather belong to a race commencing at   
the skull-less vertebrae producing the  
gentleman in the dug-out and so on up1  
than to have descended from a perfect   
pair upon which the ,lord has lost money
 from that day to this4  ,i had rather  
belong to a race that is going up than  
to one that is going down4  ,i would    
rather belong to one that commenced at  
the skull-less vertebrae and started for
 perfection1 than to belong to one1 that
 started from perfection and started for
 the skull-less vertebrae4  ,these are  
the excuses ,i have for my race1 and    
taking everything into consideration1 ,i
 think we have done extremely well4     
,let us have more liberty and free      
thought4  ,free thought will give us    
truth4  ,it is too early in the history 
of the world to write a creed4 ,our     
fathers were intellectual slaves2 our   

fathers were intellectual serfs4  ,there
 never has been a free generation on the
 globe4  ,every creed you have got bears
 the mark of whip1 and chain1 and fagot4
  ,there has been no creed written by a 
free brain4  ,wait until we have had two
 or three generations of liberty and it 
will then be time enough to seize the   
swift horse of progress by the bridle   
and say--thus far and no farther2 and in
 the meantime let us be kind to each    
other2  let us be decent towards each   
other4  ,we are all travelers on the    
great plain we call life and there is   
nobody quite sure1 what road to         
take--not just dead sure1 you known4    
,there are lots of guide-boards on the  
plain and you find thousands of people  
swearing today that their guide-board is
 the only board that shows the right    
direction4  ,i go and talk to them and  
they say3 ,you go that way1 or you will 
be damned4  ,i go to another and they   
say3  ,you go this way1 or you will be  
damned4  ,i find them all fighting and  

quarreling and beating each other1 and  
then ,i say3 ,let us cut down all these 
guide-boards4  ,what1 they say1 leave us
 without any guide-boards8  ,i say3     
,yes4  ,let every man take the road he  
thinks is right2 and let everybody else 
wish him a happy journey2 let us part   
friends4  ,i say to you tonight1 my     
friends1 that ,i have no malice upon    
this subject--not a particle2 ,i simply 
wish to express my thoughts4 ,the world 
has grown better just in proportion as  
it is happier2 the world has grown      
better just in proportion as it has lost
 superstition2 the world has grown      
better just in the proportion that the  
sacerdotal class has lost               
influence--just exactly2 the world has  
grown better just in proportion that    
secular ideas have taken possession of  
the world4  ,the world has grown better 
just in proportion that it has ceased   
talking about the visions of the clouds1
 and talked about the realities of the  
earth4  ,the world has grown better just

 in the proportion that it has grown    
free1 and ,i want to do what little ,i  
can in my feeble way to add another     
flame to the torch of progress4  ,i do  
not know1 of course1 what will come1 but
 if ,i have said anything tonight that  
will make a husband love his wife       
better1 ,i am satisfied2 if ,i have said
 anything1 that will make a wife love   
her husband better1 ,i am satisfied2 if 
,i have said anything that will add one 
more ray of joy to life1 ,i am          
satisfied2 if ,i have said anything that
 will save the tender flesh of a child  
from a blow1 ,i am satisfied2 if ,i have
 said anything that will make us more   
willing to extend to others the right we
 claim for ourselves1 ,i am satisfied4  
,i do not know what inventions are in   
the brain of the future2 ,i do not know 
what garments of glory may be woven for 
the world in the loom of the years to   
be2 we are just on the edge of the great
 ocean of discovery4  ,i do not know    
what is to be discovered2 ,i do not know

 what science will do for us4  ,i do    
know that science did just take a       
handful of sand and make the telescope1 
and with it read all the starry leaves  
of heaven2 ,i know that science took the
 thunderbolts from the hands of         
,jupiter1 and now the electric spark1   
freighted with thought and love1 flashes
 under waves of the sea4  ,i know that  
science stole a tear from the cheek of  
unpaid labor1 converted it into steam1  
and created a giant that turns with     
tireless arms the countless wheels of   
toil2 ,i know that science broke the    
chains from human limbs and gave us     
instead the forces of nature for our    
slaves2 ,i know that we have made the   
attraction of gravitation work for us2  
we have made the lightnings our         
messengers2 we have taken advantage of  
fire and flames and wind and sea2 these 
slaves have no backs to be whipped2 they
 have no hearts to be lacerated2 they   
have no children to be stolen1 no       
cradles to be violated4  ,i know that   

science has given us better houses2 ,i  
know it has given us better pictures and
 better books2 ,i know it has given us  
better wives and better husbands1 and   
more beautiful children4 ,i know it has 
enriched a thousand-fold our lives2 and 
for that reason ,i am in favor of       
intellectual liberty4  ,i know not1 ,i  
say1 what discoveries may lead the world
 to glory2 but ,i do know that from the 
infinite sea of the future never a      
greater or grander blessing will strike 
this bank and shoal of time than liberty
 for man1 woman and child4  ,ladies and 
gentlemen1 ,i have delivered this       
lecture a great many times2 clergymen   
have attended1 and editors of religious 
newspapers1 and they have gone away and 
written in their papers and declared in 
their pulpits that in this lecture ,i   
advocated universal adultery2 they have 
gone away and said it was obscene and   
disgusting4  ,between me and my clerical
 maligners1 between me and my religious 
slanderers1 ,i leave you1 ladies and    

gentlemen1 to judge4      ,ingersoll's  
,lecture on ,human ,rights    ,ladies   
and ,gentlemen3  ,i suppose that man1   
from the most grotesque savage up to    
,heckle1 has had a philosophy by which  
he endeavored to account for all the    
phenomena of nature he may have         
observed4  ,from that mankind may have  
got their ideas of right and wrong4     
,now1 where there are no rights there   
can be no duties4  ,let us always       
remember that only as a man becomes free
 can he by any possibility become good  
or great4 ,as ,i said1 every savage has 
had his philosophy1 and by it accounted 
for everything he observed4  ,he had an 
idea of rain and rainbow1 and he had an 
idea of a controlling power4  ,one said 
there is a being who presides over our  
world1 and who will destroy us unless we
 do right4  ,others had many of these   
beings1 but they were invariably like   
themselves4  ,the most fruitful         
imagination cannot make more than a man1
 though it may make infinite powers and 

attributes out of the powers and        
attributes of man4  ,you can't build a  
,god unless you start with a human      
being4  ,the savage said1 when there was
 a storm1 ,somebody is angry4  ,when    
lightning leaped from the lurid cloud1  
he thought1 ,what have ,i been doing8   
and when he couldn't think of any wrong 
he had been doing1 he tried to think of 
some wrong his neighbor had been doing4 
,i may as well state here that ,i       
believe man has come up from the lowest 
orders of creation1 and may have not    
come up very far2 still1 ,i believe we  
are doing very well1 considering4  ,but1
 speaking of man's early philosophy1 his
 morality was founded first on          
self-defense4  ,when gathered together  
in tribes1 he held that this infinite   
being would hold the tribe responsible  
for the actions of any individual who   
had angered him4  ,they imagined this   
being got angry4 ,just imagine the      
serenity of an infinite being being     
disturbed1 and a ,god breaking into a   

passion because some poor wretch had    
neglected to bring two turtle doves to a
 priest6  ,then they sought out this    
poor offending individual1 to punish him
 and appease the wroth of this being4   
,and here commenced religious           
persecution4  ,now1 ,i do not say there 
is no ,god1 but what ,i do say is that  
,i do not know4  ,the only difference   
between me and the theologian is that ,i
 am honest4  ,there may or there may not
 be an infinite being1 but ,i do not    
know it1 and until ,i do ,i cannot      
conceive of any obedience ,i owe to any 
unknown being4  ,as soon as men began to
 imagine they would be held responsible 
for the act of any other person1 came   
the necessity for some one to teach them
 how to keep from offending the being4  
,some called him medicine man1 some     
called him priest2 now1 we call him     
theologian4  ,these men set out to teach
 men how to keep from offending this    
being1 and they laid down certain laws  
to regulate the conduct of men4  ,first 

of all it was necessary to believe in   
this power4  ,to disbelieve in him was  
the worst offense of all4 ,to have some 
human being1 dressed in the skin of a   
wild beast1 deny the existence of this  
infinite being1 was more than the       
infinite being could stand4  ,the first 
thing1 therefore1 was to believe in this
 power1 the next to support this        
gentleman standing between you and the  
supreme wrath4  ,these gentlemen were   
the lobbyists with the power1 and       
sometimes succeeded in getting the veto 
used in favor of their clients4  ,for   
ages1 as mankind slowly came through the
 savage state1 the world was filled with
 infinite fear4  ,they accounted for    
everything bad that happened as the     
wrath of this supreme being4 ,but they  
went from savagery to barbarism--a step 
in improvement--and then began to build 
temples to1 and make images of1 this    
being4  ,then man began to believe he   
could influence this being by prayer1 by
 getting on his knees to the image he   

had made4  ,nothing1 ,i suppose         
astonishes a missionary more than to see
 a savage in ,central ,africa on his    
knees before a stone praying for luck in
 hunting or in fighting4  ,and yet it   
strikes me--we have our army chaplains  
before a battle praying for the success 
of our side4  ,they don't pray for      
assistance if our cause is just1 but    
they pray1 ,lord help us6  ,i can't see 
the difference between the two4  ,but   
there is this said in favor of prayer   
that1 whether successful or not1 it is a
 sort of intellectual exercise4  ,like a
 man trying to lift himself1 he may not 
succeed1 but he gets a good deal of     
exercise4  ,but as man proceeds1 he     
begins to help himself and to take      
advantage of mechanical powers to assist
 him1 and he begins to see he can help  
himself a little1 and exactly in the    
proportion he helps himself he comes to 
rely less on the power of priest or     
prayer to help him4  ,just to the extent
 we are helpless1 to that extent do we  

rely upon the unknown4  ,as religion    
developed itself1 keeping pace with the 
belief in theology1 came the belief in  
demonology4  ,they gave one being all   
the credit of doing all the good things1
 and must give some one credit for the  
bad things1 and so they created a devil4
  ,at one time it was as disreputable to
 deny the existence of a devil as to    
deny the existence of a ,god2 to deny   
the existence of a hell1 with its fire  
and brimstone1 as to deny the existence 
of a heaven with its harp and love4     
,with the development of religion came  
the idea that no man should be allowed  
to bring the wrath of ,god on a nation  
by his transgressions1 and this idea    
permeates the ,christian world today4   
,now what does this prove8  ,simply that
 our religion is founded on fear1 and   
when you are afraid you cannot think4   
,fear drops on its knees and believes4  
,it is only courage that can think4  ,it
 was the idea that man's actions could  
do something1 outside of any effect his 

mechanical works might have1 to change  
the order of nature2 that he might      
commit some offense to bring on an      
earthquake1 but he can't do it4  ,you   
can't be bad enough to cause an         
earthquake2 neither can you be good     
enough to stop one4 ,out of that        
wretched doctrine and infamous mistake  
that man's belief could have any effect 
upon nature grew all these inquisitions1
 racks and collars of torture1 and all  
the blood that was ever shed by         
religious persecution4  ,in ,europe the 
country was divided between kings and   
priests4  ,the king held that he got the
 power from the unknown2 so did the     
priests4  ,they could not say that they 
got it from the people2 the people would
 deny it2 the unknown could not deny it4
  ,and thus the altar and throne stand  
side by side4 ,and republicanism was a  
thing unknown4  ,it has been said that  
the pilgrim fathers came to this country
 to establish religious liberty4  ,they 
did no such thing4  ,they were not in   

favor of it4  ,they came with the       
,testament in their hands1 and with it  
they could have no idea of religious    
liberty4  ,when they had established    
thirteen colonies here1 and had         
struggled for and obtained their        
independence1 they established federal  
government1 but did they seek after     
religious liberty8  ,no6  ,when they    
formed a federal government each church 
and each colony was jealous of the      
other4  ,they said to the general       
government1 ,you can't have any religion
 in the constitution1 but each state    
could make its own religion1 and they   
made them4  ,here the speaker read      
copious extracts from the statutes of   
the different states in reference to the
 qualifications for the exercise of     
citizenship--the religious belief       
necessary2 and1 on concluding1 asked1   
,had they 7the members who drew up these
 state constitutions7 any idea of       
religious liberty4  ,continuing1 he     
said3  ,now1 my friends1 there's a party

 started in this country with the object
 of giving every man1 woman and child   
the rights they are entitled to4  ,now  
every one of us has the same rights4  ,i
 have the right to labor and to have the
 products of my labor4  ,i have the     
right to think1 and furthermore1 to     
express my thoughts1 because expression 
is the reward of my intellectual labor4 
,and yet in the ,united ,states there   
are states where men of my ideas would  
not be allowed to testify in a court of 
justice4  ,is that right8  ,there are   
states in this country where1 if the law
 had been enforced1 ,i would have been  
sent to the penitentiary for lecturing4 
,all such laws are enacted by           
barbarians1 and our country will not be 
free until they are wiped from the      
statute books of every state4  ,does an 
infinite being need to be protected by a
 ,state ,legislature8  ,if the bible is 
inspired1 does the author of it need the
 support of the law to command respect8 
,we don't need any law to make mankind  

respect ,shakespeare4  ,we come to the  
altar of that great man and cover it    
with our gratitude without a statute4   
,think of a law to govern tastes6 ,think
 of a law to govern mind1 or any        
question whatever6  ,think of the way in
 which they have supported the bible6   
,they've terrorized the old with laws1  
and captured the dear1 little innocent  
children and poisoned their minds with  
their false stories until1 when they    
have reached the age of manhood1 they   
have been afraid to think for           
themselves4  ,let us see what the laws  
are now1 by which they guard their bible
 and their ,god4  ,here the speaker read
 extracts from the statutes of several  
states in reference to blasphemy and    
profanation of the ,sabbath1 commenting 
on each as he ran them through3         
,pursuing the thread of his discourse1  
he said3  ,every ,american should see to
 it that all these laws are done away   
with once and forever4  ,there has been 
a reaction of late years4  ,this country

 has begun to be prosperous4  ,we don't 
think much of religion2 'tis only when  
hard times come we turn our attention   
toward it4  ,there are people in this   
country who say we are getting too      
irreligious1 too scientific4  ,now1 is  
it not a fact that we are happier today 
than at any period in our history8 ,you 
live in a great country1 though perhaps 
you do not know it4  ,but live in any   
other country for a while1 and you'll   
find it out4  ,see1 then1 what we've got
 by looking a little to the affairs of  
the world6 ,the bible can't stand today 
without the support of the civil power4 
,no religion ever flourished except by  
the support of the sword1 and no        
religion like this could have been      
established except by brute force4  ,at 
one time we thought a great deal of     
clergymen1 but now we have got to       
thinking they ain't of as much          
importance as a man that has invented   
something4  ,the church seeing this has 
made up its mind that it is necessary to

 do something1 and so got up a plan to  
be acknowledged by law4  ,here's what   
they wish to do3  ,here the speaker read
 some extracts from the constitution of 
the ,national ,reform ,association4     
,continuing he said3  ,our fathers1 in  
#aggf1 building better than they knew1  
retired the gods from politics4  ,i do  
not believe ,jesus ,christ is the ruler 
of nations4 ,if he is the ruler of one  
he is the ruler of all4 ,why does he not
 then rule one as well as another8  ,if 
you give him credit for the good things 
of one you must denounce him for the    
tyranny and despotism of others4  ,the  
revealed word of ,god is not the        
standing of civil justice in this       
country6  ,the bible is not the standard
 of right and wrong or of decency in    
this country4  ,you can't put ,god in   
the constitution1 because if you do     
there would be no room for the folks4   
,whatever you put in the constitution   
you must enforce by the sword1 and you  
can't go to war with any man for not    

believing in your ,god4  ,god has no    
business there1 and any man that is in  
favor of putting him there is an enemy  
to the interests of ,american           
institutions4  ,now for the purpose of  
preventing the name of ,god being put in
 the constitution1 there's another      
little party has been started and these 
are its doctrines3  ,we want an absolute
 divorce between church and state4  ,we 
demand that church property should not  
be exempt from taxation4  ,if you are   
going to exempt anything1 exempt the    
homesteads of the poor4  ,don't exempt a
 rich corporation1 and make men pay     
taxes to support a religion in which    
they do not believe4  ,but they say     
churches do good4  ,i don't know whether
 they do or not4  ,do you see such a    
wonderful difference between a member of
 a church and the man who does not      
believe in it8  ,do church members pay  
their debts any better than any others8 
,do they treat their families any       
better8  ,did you ever hear of any man  

coming into a town broke and inquire    
where the deacon of a ,presbyterian     
church lived8  ,has not the church      
opposed every science from the first ray
 of light until now8  ,didn't they damn 
into eternal flames the man who         
discovered the world was round8 ,didn't 
they damn into eternal flames the man   
who discovered the movement of the earth
 in its orbit8  ,didn't they persecute  
the astronomers8  ,didn't they even try 
to put down life insurance by saying it 
was sinful to bet on the time ,god has  
given you to live8  ,science built the  
,academy1 superstition the ,inquisition4
 ,science constructed the telescope1    
religion the rack2 science made us happy
 here1 and says if there's another life 
we'll all stand an equal chance there2  
religion made us miserable here1 and    
says a large majority will be eternally 
miserable there4 ,should we1 therefore1 
exempt it from taxation for any good it 
has done8  ,the next thing we ask is a  
perfect divorce between church and      

school4 ,we say that every school should
 be secular1 because its just to        
everybody4  ,if ,i was an ,israelite ,i 
wouldn't want to be taxed to have my    
children taught that his ancestors had  
murdered a supreme being4 ,let us teach1
 not the doctrines of the past1 but the 
discoveries of the present2 not the five
 points of ,calvinism1 but geology and  
geography4 ,education is the lever to   
raise mankind1 and superstition is the  
enemy of intelligence4  ,we demand1     
next1 that woman shall be put upon an   
equality with man4 ,why not8  ,why      
shouldn't men be decent enough in the   
management of the politics of the       
country for women to mingle with them8  
,it is an outrage that anyone should    
live in this country for sixty or       
seventy years and be forced to obey the 
laws without having any voice in making 
them4  ,let us give woman the           
opportunity to care for herself1 since  
men are not decent enough to seek to    
care for her4  ,the time will come when 

we'll treat a woman that works and takes
 care of two or three children as well  
as a woman dressed in diamonds who does 
nothing4  ,the time will come when we'll
 not tell our domestic we expect to meet
 her in heaven1 and yet not be willing  
to have her speak to us in the drawing  
room4  ,ignorance is a poor pedestal to 
set virtue upon and mock-modesty should 
not have the right to prevent people    
from knowing themselves4  ,every child  
has a right to be well-born1 and        
ignorance has no right to people the    
world with scrofula and consumption4    
,when we come to the conclusion that    
,god is not taking care of us and that  
we have to take care of ourselves1 then 
we'll begin to have something in the    
world worth living for4  ,i would wish  
there was seated upon the throne of the 
universe one who would see to it that   
justice did always prevail4  ,i do not  
propose to give up the little world ,i  
live in for the unknown4  ,i would wish 
that the friends who bid us good night  

in this world might meet us with good   
morning there4  ,just as long as we love
 one another we'll hope for another     
world2 just as long as love kisses the  
lips of death will we believe and hope  
for a future reunion4  ,i would not take
 one hope away from the human heart or  
one joy from the human soul1 but ,i hold
 in contempt the gentlemen who keep     
heaven on sale2 ,i look with contempt on
 him who keeps it on draught2 ,i look   
with pitying contempt on him who        
endeavors to prohibit honest thought by 
promising a reward in another world4    
,if there is another world we'll find   
when we come there that no one has done 
enough good to be eternally rewarded1 no
 one has done enough harm to meet with  
an unending1 eternal pain and agony4    
,we'll find that there is no being that 
ever hindered a man from exercising his 
reason4  ,now1 while we are here1 no    
matter what happens to us hereafter1 let
 us cultivate strength of heart and     
brain to stand the inevitable4  ,no     

creed can help you there4 ,when the     
heart is touched with agony nothing but 
time can heal it4  ,i want1 if ,i can1  
to do a little to increase the rights of
 men1 to put every human being on an    
equality1 to sweep away the clouds of   
superstition1 to make people think more 
of what happens today than what somebody
 said happened #c1jjj years ago4  ,this 
is all ,i want3  ,to do what little ,i  
can to clutch one-seventh of our time   
from superstition1 to give our ,sundays 
to rest and recreation4  ,i want a day  
of enjoyment1 a day to read old books1  
to meet old friends1 and get acquainted 
with one's wife and children4  ,i want a
 day to gather strength to meet the     
toils of the next4  ,i want to get that 
day away from the church1 away from     
superstition and the contemplation of   
hell1 to be the best and sweetest and   
brightest of all the days in the week4  
,the best way to make a day sacred is to
 fill it up with useful labor4  ,that   
day is best on which most good is done  

for the human race4  ,i hope to see the 
time when we'll have a day for the      
opera1 the play--good plays--for they do
 good4  ,you never saw the villain      
foiled in a play where the audience did 
not applaud4  ,you never saw them       
applaud when the rascal was successful  
in his villainy4  ,if you could go to a 
theater and see put upon the stage the  
scenes of the old testament1 with its   
butcheries and rapes and deeds of       
violence1 you would detest it all the   
days of your life4  ,i'd like to have   
every horror of the old testament set on
 this stage1 to have somebody represent 
the being as he is represented there1   
giving his brutal orders1 and let the   
orthodox see their ,god as he really is4
  ,i want to have us all do what little 
we can to secularize this               
government--take it from the control of 
savagery and give it to science1 take it
 from the government of the past and    
give it to the enlightened present1 and 
in this government let us uphold every  

man and woman in their rights1 that     
everyone1 after he or she comes to the  
age of discretion1 may have a choice in 
the affairs of the nation4  ,do this1   
and we'll grow in grandeur and splendor 
every day1 and the time will come when  
every man and every woman shall have the
 same rights as every other man and     
every other woman has4  ,i believe1 we  
are growing better4  ,i don't believe   
the wail of want shall be heard forever2
 that the prison and gallows will always
 curse the ground4  ,the time will come 
when liberty and law and love1 like the 
rings of ,saturn1 will surround the     
world2 when the world will cease making 
these mistakes2 when every man will be  
judged according to his worth and       
intelligence4  ,i want to do all ,i can 
to hasten that day4       ,ingersoll's  
,lecture on ,talmagian ,theology        
7,second ,lecture7    ,col4 ,ingersoll  
began1 ,only a few years ago the pulpit 
was almost supreme4  ,the palace was    
almost in the shadow of the cathedral1  

and the power behind every throne was a 
priest4  ,man was held in physical      
slavery by kings1 and in a mental prison
 by the church4 ,he was allowed to hold 
no opinions as to where he came from1   
nor as to where he was going4  ,it was  
sufficient for him to do the labor and  
believe the kings would do the governing
 and the priests the thinking--and1 my  
,god1 what thinking6  ,if the world had 
obeyed the priests we would all be      
idiots tonight4  ,the eagle of intellect
 would have given way to the blind bat  
of faith4 ,they were the rack1 the      
faggot1 the thumbscrew in this world1   
and hell in the next4  ,only a few years
 ago no man could express an honest     
thought unless he agreed with the       
church4  ,the church has been a         
perpetual beggar4  ,it has never plowed1
 it never sowed1 it never spun1 yet     
,solomon in all his glory was not so    
arrayed4 ,thanks to modern thought1 the 
brain of the nineteenth century1 to     
,voltaire1 ,paine1 ,hume1 to all the    

free men1 that beggar--the church--is no
 longer upon horseback2 and it fills me 
with joy to state that even its walking 
is not now good4  ,only a little while  
ago a priest was thought more than      
human4  ,nobody dared contradict the    
minister4  ,now there are other learned 
professions4  ,there are doctors1       
lawyers1 writers1 books1 newspapers1 and
 the priest has hundreds of rivals4     
,the priest grew jealous1 hateful2 he   
was always thankful for an epidemic or  
pestilence1 so that people would turn to
 him in despair4 ,in our country all the
 men of intellect were in the pulpit    
once4  ,now there are so many avenues to
 distinction the men of brain1 heart and
 red blood have left the pulpit and gone
 to useful things4  ,i do not say all4  
,there are still some men of mind in the
 pulpit1 but they are nearer infidels   
than any others4 ,where do we get our   
ministers8  ,a young man1 without       
constitution enough to be wicked1       
without health enough to enjoy the      

things of this world1 naturally1 fixes  
his gaze on high4  ,he is educated1 sent
 to a university where he is taught that
 it is criminal to think4  ,stuffed with
 a creed1 he comes out a shepherd4 ,most
 of them are intellectual shreds and    
patches1 mental ravelings1 selvage4     
,every pulpit is a pillory in which     
stands a convict2 every member of the   
church stands over him with a club1     
called a creed4  ,he is an intellectual 
slave1 and dare not preach his honest   
thought4 ,there are thousands of good   
men in the pulpit1 honest men4  ,i am   
simply describing the average shepherd2 
they tell me they've been called1 that  
,almighty ,god selected them4 ,he looked
 all over the world and said3 ,now1     
there's a man ,i want6  ,and what       
selections6  ,shakespeare was not       
called4  ,yet he has done more for this 
world than all the ministers who have   
ever lived in it4  ,beethoven6  ,he was 
not called4  ,raphael was not called4   
,he was all an accident4  ,all the      

inventors1 discoverers1 poets--,god     
never called one of them2 he turned his 
attention to popes1 cardinals1 priests1 
exhorters2 and what selections he has   
made6  ,it's astonishing4  ,in the      
,united ,states a great many ministers  
have been good enough to take me for a  
text4  ,among others the ,rev4 ,mr4     
,talmage1 of ,brooklyn4  ,i have nothing
 to say about his reputation4  ,it has  
nothing to do with the question4  ,some 
ministers think he has more             
gesticulation than grace4 ,some call him
 a pious pantaloon1 a ,christian clown2 
but such remarks1 ,i think1 are born of 
envy4 ,he is the only ,presbyterian     
minister in the ,united ,states who can 
draw an audience4  ,he stands at the    
head of the denomination1 and ,i answer 
him4  ,he's a strange man4  ,i believe  
he's orthodox1 or intellectual pride    
would prevent his saying these things4  
,he believes in a literal resurrection  
of the dead2 that we shall see countless
 bones flying through the air4  ,he has 

some charges against me1 and he has     
denied some of my statements4  ,he has  
produced what he calls arguments1 and ,i
 am going to answer some of the charges4
  ,next ,sunday afternoon1 at #b        
o'clock2 in this place1 ,i shall have a 
matinee1 and answer his arguments4  ,he 
says ,i am the champion blasphemer4     
,what is blasphemy8  ,to contradict a   
priest8  to have a mind of your own8    
,whoever takes a step in advance is a   
blasphemer4 ,blasphemy is what a last   
year's leaf says to a this year's bud4  
,to deny that ,mohammed is the prophet  
of ,god is not blasphemy in ,new ,york4 
,it is in ,constantinople4 ,it is a     
question1 then1 largely of ,geography4  
,it depends on where you are4  ,the     
missionary who laughs at a modern ,god  
is a blasphemer4  ,in a ,catholic       
country whoever says ,mary is not the   
mother of ,god is a blasphemer4  ,in a  
,protestant country to say she is the   
mother of ,god is blasphemy4            
,everything has been blasphemy4  ,my    

doctrine is this3  ,he is a blasphemer  
who refuses to tell his honest thought2 
who is not true to himself2 who enslaves
 his fellow man2 who charges that ,god  
was once in favor of slavery4  ,if there
 is any ,god1 that man is a blasphemer4 
,they're afraid we'll injure ,god4      
,how8  ,is infinite goodness and mercy  
to become livid with wrath because a    
finite being expresses an opinion8  ,i  
cannot help the infinite4  ,that man    
only is the good man who helps his      
fellow man4  ,i know then who would do  
anything for ,god1 who doesn't need it1 
but nothing for men1 who do need it4    
,why should ,god be so particular about 
my believing his book8  ,it's no more   
his work than the stars of gravitation4 
,yet ,i may declare that the earth is   
flat1 and he'll not damn me for that4   
,but if ,i make a mistake about that    
book ,i'm gone4  ,i can blaspheme the   
multiplication table and deify the power
 of the wedge--in fact1 the less ,i know
 the better my chance will be4  ,i say  

that book is not inspired1 and there is 
no infinitely good ,god who will damn   
one human soul4  ,at the judgment1 if ,i
 am mistaken ,i own up--,i am here1 ,i  
do not know where ,i came from1 nor     
where ,i am going--,i'll be honest about
 it4  ,i am on a ship and not on        
speaking terms with the captain1 but ,i 
propose to have a happy voyage1 and the 
best way is to do what you can to make  
your fellow passengers happy4  ,if we   
run into a good port1 ,i'll be as happy 
an angel as you'll meet that day4       
,blasphemy is the cry of a defeated     
priest--the black flag of theology--it  
shows where argument stops and slander  
and persecution begin4  ,i am told by   
,mr4 ,talmage that whoever contradicts  
this word is a fool1 a howling wolf1 one
 of the assassins of ,god4  ,i presume  
the gentleman is honest4  ,take ,mr4    
,talmage1 now1 he is a good man4 ,mr4   
,humboldt1 he was another good man4     
,what ,humboldt knew and what ,talmage  
didn't know would make a library4  ,the 

next charge is that ,i have said the    
universe was made of nothing1 according 
to the bible4  ,false in one thing1     
false in all1 he says4 ,think of that   
rule4  ,let us apply that to man4  ,if  
the world was created1 what was it make 
of8  and who made that8 ,if the ,lord   
created it1 what did ,he make it of8    
,nothing4  ,that's all ,he had4  ,no    
sides1 no top1 nothing4  ,yet ,god had  
lived there forever4  ,what did ,he     
think about8  ,what did ,he do8         
,nothing4 ,nothing had ever happened4   
,all at once ,he made something4  ,what 
did ,he make it of8  ,mr4 ,talmage      
explains4  ,he says if ,i knew anything 
,i would know that ,god made this world 
out of ,his omnipotence4  ,he might just
 as well made it out of ,his memory4    
,what is omnipotence8  ,is it a raw     
material8  ,the weakest man in the world
 can lift as much nothing as ,god4  ,yet
 ,he made this world out of ,his        
omnipotence4  ,it is so stated by a     
doctor of divinity1 and ,i should think 

such divinity would need a doctor6  ,i  
don't believe this4  ,i believe this    
universe has existed throughout all     
eternity--everything4 ,all that is1 is  
,god4  ,i do not give to that universe a
 personality that wants man to get his  
knees into dust and his fingers in holy 
water2 that wants some body to ring a   
bell or eat a wafer4  ,i am a part of   
this universe1 and ,i believe all there 
is1 is all the ,god there is4  ,i may be
 mistaken2 ,i don't know4  ,i just give 
my best opinion4  ,if there's any       
heaven1 ,i'll give it there4  ,but      
there'll be no discussion in heaven4    
,hell is the only place where mental    
improvement will be possible4  ,i have  
said1 it is charged1 that the bible says
 the world was made in six days4  ,he   
says ,i don't understand ,hebrew4  ,the 
bible says the world was made in six    
days4  ,god didn't work nights--evening 
and morning were the first day4  ,god   
rested on the seventh day1 and          
sanctified it4 ,that1 they say1 didn't  

mean days2 it meant good whiles4  ,he   
made the world in six good whiles4      
,adam was made1 ,i think along about    
,saturday4 ,if the account is correct1  
it's only #f1jjj years since man made   
his appearance4 ,we know that to be     
false4  ,a few years ago a gentleman who
 was going to ,california in the cars   
met a minister4 ,they came to the place 
called the ,sink of the ,humboldt1 the  
most desolate place in the world4  ,just
 imagine perdition with the fire out4   
,the traveler asked the minister whether
 ,god made the earth in six days1 and   
the minister said he did4 ,then don't   
you think1 said he1 ,he could have put  
in another day's work to great advantage
 right here8  ,i am charged1 too1 with  
saying that the sun was not made till   
the fourth day1 whereas1 according to   
the bible1 vegetation began on the third
 day1 before there was any light4  ,but 
,mr4 ,talmage says there was light      
without the sun4 ,they got light1 he    
says1 from the crystallization of rocks4

  ,a nice thing to raise a crop of corn 
by4  ,there may have been volcanoes1 he 
says4  ,how'd you like to farm it1 and  
depend on volcanic glare to raise a     
crop8  ,that's what they call religious 
science4  ,god won't damn a man for     
things like that4  ,what else8 ,the     
aurora borealis6  ,a great cucumber     
country6  ,it's strange ,he never       
thought of glow worms6 ,imagine it6  a  
,presbyterian divine gravely saying     
vegetation could grow by the light of   
the crystallization of rocks--by the    
light of volcanoes in other worlds1     
probably now extinct4  ,he says of me1  
too in his pulpit1 that ,i was in favor 
of the circulation of immoral           
literature4  ,let me tell you the truth4
 ,several gentlemen1 so-called1 were    
trying to exclude from the mails1 books 
called infidel4 ,i said the law should  
be modified4 ,it is impossible for      
anybody to reach the depth of one who   
will print or circulate obscene books4  
,one of my objections to the bible is   

that it contains obscene stories4  ,any 
book1 couched in decent language1 should
 have the liberty of the ,united ,states
 mails4  ,where books are immoral and   
obscene1 ,i say1 burn them1 and have    
always said it4  ,mr4 ,talmage said what
 he knew to be untrue4  ,he said it out 
of hatred1 and because he cannot answer 
the arguments ,i have urged4 ,i believe 
in pure books and pure literature4  ,but
 when a ,god writes there is no excuse  
for ,him4 ,in ,shakespeare we say       
obscene things are impure--we do not say
 they are inspired4  ,that ,i have      
falsified the records of the bible      
showing the period of ,jewish slavery1  
is another of the charges against me4   
,that slavery extended over a period of 
#bae years2 and he proceeded to         
substantiate this statement by being    
through a long and somewhat complicated 
genealogical table4  ,if ,i made any    
misstatement ,i was misled by the new   
testament4  ,mr4 ,talmage may settle    
with ,st4 ,paul4  ,if you can depend on 

what my friend ,paul says1 the ,jews1 in
 #bae years1 increased from seventy     
persons till they had #fjj1jjj men of   
war4  ,i know it isn't so1 and so does  
any man who knows anything4 ,for such an
 increase as this each woman must have  
borne somewhat over fifty-seven         
children1 and every child lived4  ,the  
next charge is that ,i have laughed at  
holy things4  ,holy things6 ,the priest 
always says3  ,now don't laugh2 look    
solemn2 this is no laughing matter4     
,there's nothing a priest hates like    
mirthfulness4  ,he despises a smile4  ,i
 read in the bible that ,god gave a     
recipe to ,aaron for making hair-oil and
 said if anybody made any like it1 kill 
him4 ,well1 ,i don't believe it4  ,the  
penalty for infringing on that patent   
was death4  ,do you believe an infinite 
,god gave a recipe for hair-oil8 ,is it 
possible for absurdity to go beyond     
that8  ,that's what they call a holy    
thing4 ,and water for baptism6  ,do you 
believe ,god will look for this         

water-mark on the soul8  ,the next      
charge is that ,i misquote the          
scriptures4  ,that's because ,i don't   
know ,hebrew4  ,why didn't ,he write to 
me in ,english8  ,if ,he wishes to hold 
a gentleman responsible1 why doesn't ,he
 address him in his native tongue8  ,why
 write ,his word in such a way that     
hundreds of thousands make their living 
explaining it8  ,if ,i'd only understood
 ,hebrew ,i would have known ,god didn't
 make ,eve out of a rib4  ,he made her  
out of ,adam's side4  ,how did ,he get  
it out8  ,well1 ,i suppose ,he cut it   
out with a kind of a splinter of ,his   
omnipotence6  ,then our mother was made 
from a rib4  ,when you consider the     
material used it was the most successful
 job ever done4  ,there's even a serpent
 in the bible that knows a language4    
,it won't do4  ,sin1 how did it come    
into the world8 ,where did the serpent  
come from8  ,he was wicked4 ,adam's sin 
did not make him bad4  ,then there was  
sin in the world before ,adam4 ,there's 

no sense in it--not a particle4  ,then  
,talmage touches me upon the flood4     
,his flood didn't come to ,america1     
because ,america was not discovered     
then4 ,he says it was a partial flood4  
,then why did they have to take any     
birds in the ark8  ,how did ,noah get   
the animals in the ark8  ,talmage says  
it was through the instinct to get out  
of the rain4 ,according to the bible    
they went in before the rain began4     
,dr4 ,scott says the angels helped carry
 them in4  ,imagine an angel with an    
animal under each wing4 ,it must have   
rained #hjj feet a day for forty days4  
,why does ,talmage try to explain a     
miracle8  ,the beauty of a miracle is it
 cannot be explained4  ,the moment the  
church begins to explain the church is  
gone4 ,all it's got to do is swear it is
 so4  ,the ark landed on ,ararat1 which 
is #ag1jjj feet high4  ,there was only  
one window1 twenty-two inches square4   
,talmage says the window ran clear      
around the ark4  ,the bible doesn't say 

so4  ,that's ,brooklyn2 that's no bible4
  ,if the bible account is true the ark 
must have struck bottom on the top of a 
mountain4  ,would any but a ,god of     
mercy and kindness people a world1 and  
then drown them all8  ,a ,god cruel     
enough to drown ,his own children ought 
not to have the impudence to tell me how
 to bring up mine4  ,why did ,he save   
eight of the same kind of people to take
 a fresh start8  ,why didn't ,he make a 
fresh lot1 kill ,his snake1 and give    
,his children a fair show8  ,it won't   
do4  ,talmage says the bible does not   
favor polygamy and slavery4 ,there was  
room enough on the table of stone for   
saying man should only have one wife and
 no slaves4  ,if not1 ,god might have   
written it on the other side4  ,david   
and ,solomon were pursued of ,god1 but  
they had a pretty good time of it4      
,most anybody would be willing to be    
pursued that way4 ,there is not a word  
in the old testament against slavery or 
polygamy4 ,frederick ,douglas1 a slave  

in ,maryland1 is the greatest man that  
state ever produced4  ,he was enslaved  
by ,christians4  ,why did ,god pay so   
much attention to blasphemers1 and so   
little to slaveholders and robbers8  ,i 
am opposed to any ,god that was ever in 
favor of slavery4  ,the bible upholds   
polygamy1 and that's the reason ,i don't
 uphold the bible4 ,the most glorious   
temple ever erected is the home--that's 
my church4  ,i've misquoted the story of
 ,jonah1 ,talmage says4  ,when somebody 
had been guilty of blasphemy the winds  
rose2 they tried to get ,jonah ashore1  
but couldn't do it4  ,the sea waxed4    
,he was swallowed by a whale4  ,the     
people of ,minerva wrapped all their    
cattle up in sack-cloth1 and if anything
 would have pleased ,god ,i should think
 that would4  ,jonah sat under a gourd1 
and ,god made a worm out of some        
omnipotence he had left over1 and set it
 work on the ground4  ,talmage doesn't  
think ,jonah was in the whale's         
belly--he said in his mouth4  ,well1    

judging from the doctor's photograph1   
that explanation would be quite natural 
to him4 ,he says he might have been in  
the whale's stomach1 and avoided the    
action of the gastric juice by walking  
up and down4  ,imagine ,jonah1 sitting  
on a back tooth1 leaning against the    
upper jaw1 longingly looking through the
 open mouth for signs of land6  ,but    
that's scripture and you've got to      
believe it or be damned4  ,let me say   
his brother preachers will not thank    
,talmage for his explanations4  ,i don't
 believe it1 and if ,i am to be damned  
for it1 ,i'll accept it cheerfully4     
,they say ,i was defeated for ,governor 
of ,illinois because ,i was an infidel1 
and that ,i am an infidel because ,i was
 defeated4  ,that's logic4 ,now ,i'll   
tell you4  ,they asked me whether ,i was
 an infidel1 and ,i said ,i was6  ,i was
 defeated4  ,i preserved my manhood and 
lost an office4  ,if everybody were as  
frank as ,i was1 some men now in office 
would be private citizens4  ,i would    

rather be what ,i am than hold any      
office in the world and be a slimy      
hypocrite4  ,next they say ,i slandered 
my parents because ,i do not believe    
what they believed4  ,my father at one  
time believed the bible to be the       
inspired word of ,god4  ,he was an      
honorable man1 and told me to read the  
bible for myself and be honest4  ,he    
lived long enough to believe that the   
old testament was not the word of ,god4 
,he had not in his life as much         
happiness as ,i have in one year4 ,i    
hope my children will dishonor me by    
being nearer right than ,i am4  ,if ,i  
have made a mistake1 ,i want my children
 to correct it4 ,my mother died when ,i 
was #b years old4  ,were she living     
tonight1 or if she does live1 she would 
say1 be absolutely true to yourself and 
preserve your manhood4  ,if ,talmage had
 been born in ,constantinople he would  
have been a dervish4  ,he is what he is 
because he can't help it4  ,his head is 
just that shape4  ,i am taking away the 

hope and consolation of the world1 he   
says4  ,his consolation is that         
ninety-nine out of every hundred are    
going to hell4  ,his church was founded 
by ,john ,calvin1 a murderer4 ,better   
have no heaven than a hell4 ,i would    
rather ,god would commit suicide this   
minute than that a single soul should go
 to hell4  ,i want no ,presbyterian     
consolation1 ,i want no fore-ordination1
 no consolation1 no damnation4  ,col4   
,ingersoll concluded with a few remarks 
about the bible women1 saying that women
 today are as true to the gallows as    
,mary ,magdalene was to the cross4      
,wherever there are women there are     
heroines4  ,shakespeare's women are     
vastly superior to the bible women4  ,i 
am accused of putting out the           
light-houses on the shores of the other 
world4  ,the ,christians are trimming   
invisible wicks and pouring in          
allegorical oil4  ,the ,christian is    
willing wife1 children and parents shall
 burn if only he can sing and have a    

harp4  ,mr4 ,talmage can see countless  
millions burn in hell without decreasing
 the length of his orthodox smile4      
,ingersoll's ,lecture on ,talmagian     
,theology 7,third lecture7    ,we must  
judge people somewhat by their creeds4  
,mr4 ,talmage is a ,calvinist1 and he   
therefore regards every human being who 
has been born only once as totally      
depraved4  ,he thinks that ,god never   
made a single creature that didn't      
deserve to be damned the minute ,he     
finished him4 ,so every one who opposes 
,mr4 ,talmage is infamous4  ,the        
generosity of an agnostic is meanness1  
his honesty is larceny and his love is  
hate4 ,talmage is a consistent follower 
of ,calvin and ,knox1 and a consistent  
worshiper of the ,jehovah of the ancient
 ,jews4  ,i oppose not him1 but his     
creed1 because it tends to crush out the
 natural tendencies in men to joyousness
 and goodness4  ,there is something good
 in every human being1 and there is     
something bad4  ,there are no perfect   

saints and no totally bad persons4      
,there is the seed of goodness in every 
human heart and the capacity for        
improvement in every human soul4  ,isn't
 it possible for a man who acts like    
,christ to be saved1 whatever be his    
belief8  ,cannot a soul be infinitely   
generous8  ,and can any ,god damn such a
 soul8  ,if ,mr4 ,talmage's creed be    
true1 nearly all the great and glorious 
men of the past are burning today4  ,if 
it be true1 the greatest man ,england   
has produced in #ajj years is in hell4  
,the world is poorer since ,i spoke here
 last1 for ,darwin has passed away4  ,he
 was a true child of nature--one who    
knew more about his mother than any     
other child she had4  ,yet he was not a 
,calvinist4  ,he did not get his        
inspiration from any book1 but from     
every star in the heavens1 from the     
insect in the sunbeam1 from the flowers 
in the meadows1 and from the everlasting
 rocks4  ,if the doctrine of the        
,calvinists is true1 what right had any 

one to ask an unbeliever to fight for   
his country in the civil war8 ,what     
right has a believer to buy an          
unbelieving substitute1 when some day he
 will look over the edge of heaven1 and 
pointing downward1 would say to a       
friend1 that is my substitute blistering
 there8  ,mr4 ,talmage says that my mind
 is poisoned1 and that the reason why   
all infidels' minds are poisoned is that
 they don't believe the ,jew bible4 ,let
 us see whether it is worth believing4  
,i deny that an infinitely merciful ,god
 would protect slavery or would uphold  
polygamy1 which pollutes the sweetest   
words in language4 ,i will not believe  
that ,god told men to exterminate their 
fellow-men1 to plunge the sword into    
women's breasts and into the hearts of  
tender babes4  ,i am opposed to the ,jew
 bible because it is bad4  ,i don't deny
 that there are many good passages in   
it1 nor that among all the thorns there 
are some roses4  ,i admit that many     
,christians are doing all they can to   

idealize the frightful things in the old
 testament4  ,it is the protest of human
 nature4 ,now1 they tell me that this   
book is inspired4  ,let us see what     
inspired means4  ,if it means anything1 
it is that the thoughts of ,god1 through
 the instrumentality of men1 constitute 
this ,jew bible1 and that these thoughts
 were written4  ,now just suppose that  
some voice whispered in your ear1 how   
would you know it was ,god's8  ,how did 
these gentlemen of old know it was ,god 
who was talking to them8  ,if anyone now
 told you that ,god whispered in his    
ear1 you wouldn't believe him4 ,why8    
,because you know him4  ,why are we     
asked to believe those ancient          
gentlemen8 ,because we don't know them4 
,another reason1 according to ,mr4      
,talmage1 why the ,jew bible is         
inspired1 is that prophecies in it have 
been fulfilled4  ,how do we know that   
the prophecies were not fulfilled before
 they were written8  ,they are so vague 
that you can't tell what was prophesied4

  ,if you will read the ,jew bible      
carefully1 you will see that there was  
not a line1 not a word1 prophesying the 
coming of ,christ4 ,catholics were right
 in saying that if the ,jew bible was to
 be kept in awe it must be kept from the
 people4  ,protestants are wrong in     
letting the people read it4  ,another   
argument of ,mr4 ,talmage for the       
inspiration of the bible is that the    
,jews have been kept as a wandering1    
persecuted race to fulfill the          
prophecies of the old testament4  ,i    
don't believe an infinitely merciful    
,god would persecute a race for         
thousands of years to use them as       
witnesses4  ,christian hate has not     
allowed the ,jews to earn a living8 or  
at least to practice a profession1 and  
now1 by a kind of poetic justice1 the   
,jews control the money of the world4   
,emperors go to their bankers with hats 
in hand and beg them to discount their  
notes4  ,this is because ,god has cursed
 the ,jews4  ,only a little while ago   

,christians have robbed ,hebrews1       
stripped them naked1 turned them into   
the streets1 and pointed to them as a   
fulfillment of divine prophecy4  ,if you
 want to know the difference between    
some ,jews and some ,christians compare 
the address of ,felix ,adler with the   
sermon of the ,rev4 ,dr4 ,talmage4  ,mr4
 ,talmage thinks that the light of every
 burning ,jewish home in ,russia throws 
light upon the gospel4  ,every wound in 
a ,jewish breast is to him a mouth to   
proclaim the divine inspiration of the  
bible4  ,every ,jewish maiden violated  
is another fulfillment of ,god's holy   
word4  ,what do these horrid            
persecutions prove1 except the barbarity
 of ,christians8 ,next it is said that  
martyrs prove the truth of the bible4   
,mr4 ,talmage affirms that no man ever  
died cheerfully for a lie4  ,why1 men   
have gone cheerfully to their death for 
believing that a wafer was ,god's flesh4
 ,thousands have died for their belief  
in ,mohammed4  ,men have died because   

they believed in immersion4  ,either    
,mr4 ,talmage is a ,catholic1 a         
,mohammedan1 a ,baptist1 or else he     
believes that these thousands died for  
lies4 ,every religion has had its       
martyrs1 and every religion cannot be   
true4  ,then it is said that miracles   
prove the inspiration of the bible4 ,but
 it is impossible by the human senses to
 establish a violation of nature's laws4
  ,when the ,hebrews threw down sticks  
before ,pharaoh1 and they became snakes1
 did he believe8  ,no2 because he was   
there4  ,after the ,jews had been lead  
through the desert and had been fed with
 bread rained from heaven1 had been     
clothed in indestructible pantaloons1   
and had quenched their thirst with water
 that followed them over mountains and  
through sands2 when they saw ,jehovah   
wrapped in the smoke of ,sinai they     
still had more faith in a calf that they
 could make than anything ,jehovah could
 give them4  ,it was so with the        
miracles of ,christ4 ,not twenty people 

were converted by one of them4  ,in     
fact1 human testimony cannot            
substantiate a miracle4  ,take the      
miracle about the bears which ate the   
children who laughed at the bald-headed 
old prophet4  ,what do you suppose ,mr4 
,talmage would say that meant8  ,why1   
first1 that children ought to respect   
preachers1 and second1 that ,god is kind
 to animals4 ,nearly every miracle in   
the old testament is wrought in the     
interest of slavery1 polygamy1 creed or 
lust4  ,i wish by denying them to rescue
 the reputation of ,jehovah from the    
assaults of the bible4  ,who are the    
witnesses to the truth of the narratives
 of the ,jews' bible8 ,eusebius was one4
  ,he lived in the reign of             
,constantine1 and said that the tracks  
of ,pharaoh's chariots could be         
seen--perfectly preserved in the sands  
of the ,red sea4  ,he was the man who   
forged the passage in ,josephus which   
speaks about the coming of ,christ4     
,good witness1 isn't he4  ,another one  

was ,polycarp4 ,we don't know much about
 him4  ,he suffered martyrdom in the    
reign of ,marcus ,aurelius1 and when the
 fire wouldn't burn and he looked like  
gold through it1 a heathen was so mad   
about it that he ran his sword through  
,polycarp4  ,the blood gushed out and   
quenched the fire1 while the martyr's   
soul flew up to heaven in the form of a 
dove4  ,and that's all we know about    
,polycarp4 ,to know how much reliance   
should be placed upon the judgment of   
such trustworthy witnesses1 we should   
look at what some of their beliefs were4
  ,they thought that the world was flat2
 that the phoenix story was true2 that  
the stars had souls and sinned2 and one 
said there were four gospels because    
there were four winds and four corners  
of the earth4 ,he might have added that 
it was also because a donkey has four   
legs4  ,so far as the argument drawn    
from the sufferings of the martyrs is   
concerned1 the speaker said that        
thousands upon thousands of men had died

 as cheerfully in defense of the koran  
as ,christians had died in defense of   
the bible4  ,their heroic suffering     
simply proved that they were sinners in 
their beliefs1 not that those beliefs   
were true4  ,this argument1 as advanced 
by ,mr4 ,talmage1 proves too much4      
,every religion on the face of the globe
 has had its martyrs1 but all religions 
cannot be true4  ,men do die cheerfully 
for falsehoods when they believe them to
 be true4  ,the question of miracles was
 discussed at some length1 and ,col4    
,ingersoll declared it was impossible to
 establish by any human evidence that a 
miracle had ever been performed4        
,pharaoh was not convinced by the       
alleged miracle performed by ,aaron1 of 
turning a stick into a serpent4  ,why8  
,because he was there1 and no such      
miracle was ever done4  ,no twenty      
people were convinced by the reported   
miracles of ,christ1 and yet people of  
the nineteenth century were coolly asked
 to be convinced on hearsay by miracles 

which those who are supposed to have    
seen them refuse to credit4  ,it won't  
do4  ,the laws of nature never have been
 interrupted1 and they never will be4   
,all the books in the universe will     
never convince a thinking man that      
miracles have been performed4  ,the     
lecture was sprinkled throughout with   
the satirical wit for which ,col4       
,ingersoll is famous1 and concluded by  
the enumeration of a long list of       
unscientific facts and events recorded  
in the bible4      ,ingersoll's ,lecture
 on ,religious ,intolerance    ,how     
anybody ever came to the conclusion that
 there was any ,god who demanded that   
you should feel sorrowful and miserable 
and bleak one-seventh of the time is    
beyond my comprehension4 ,neither can ,i
 conceive how they can say that         
one-seventh of time is holy4  ,that day 
is the most sacred day on which the most
 good has been done for mankind4  ,now1 
there was a time among the ,jews1 when1 
if a man violated the ,sabbath1 they    

would kill him4  ,they said ,god told   
them to do it4  ,i think they were      
mistaken4  ,if not1 if any ,god did tell
 them to kill him1 then ,i think he was 
mistaken4  ,i hope the time will come   
when every man can spend the ,sabbath   
just as he pleases1 provided he does not
 interfere with the happiness of others4
  ,i would fight just as earnestly that 
the ,christian may go to church as that 
the infidel may have the right to spend 
the ,sabbath as he wishes4  ,are the    
people who go to church the only good   
people8  ,are there not a great many bad
 people who go to church8  ,not a bank  
in ,pittsburgh will lend a dollar to the
 man who belongs to the church1 without 
security1 quicker than to the man who   
don't go to church4  ,now1 ,i believe   
that all laws upon the statute-book     
should be enforced4  ,i do not blame    
anybody in this town4 ,i am perfectly   
willing that every preacher in this town
 should preach4 ,they are employed to   
preach1 and to preach a certain         

doctrine1 and if they don't preach that 
doctrine they will be turned out4  ,i   
have no objection to that4  ,but ,i want
 the same privilege to express my views1
 and what is the difference whether the 
man pays the day he goes in1 or pays for
 it the week before by subscription4    
,what would the church people think if  
the theatrical people should attempt to 
suppress the churches8  ,what harm would
 it do to have an opera here tonight8   
,it would elevate us more than to hear  
ten thousand sermons on the world that  
never dies4  ,there is more practical   
wisdom in one of the plays of           
,shakespeare than in all the sacred     
books ever written4  ,what wrong would  
there be to see one of those grand plays
 on ,sunday8  ,there was a time when the
 church would not allow you to cook on  
,sunday4  ,you had to eat your victuals 
cold4  ,there was a time they thought   
the more miserable you feel the better  
,god feels4  ,there are sixty odd       
thousand preachers in the ,united       

,states4  ,some people regard them as a 
necessary evil2 some as an unnecessary  
evil4  ,there are sixty odd thousand    
churches in the ,united ,states2 and it 
does seem to me that with all the wealth
 on their side2 with all the good people
 on their side2 with ,providence on     
their side2 with all these advantages   
they ought to let us at least have the  
right to speak our thoughts4  ,the      
history of the world shows me that the  
right has not always prevailed4  ,when  
you see innocent men chained to the     
stake and the flames licking their      
flesh1 it is natural to ask1 why does   
,god permit this8  ,if you see a man in 
prison with the chains eating into his  
flesh simply for loving ,god1 you've got
 to ask why does not a just ,god        
interfere8  ,you've got to meet this2 it
 won't do to say that it will all come  
out for the best4  ,that may do very    
well for ,god1 but it's awful hard on   
the man4  ,where was the ,god that      
permitted slavery for two hundred years 

in these ,united ,states8  ,the history 
of the world shows that when a mean     
thing was done1 man did it2 when a good 
thing was done1 man did it4  ,but there 
was a time when there was a drought1 and
 this tribe of savages with their false 
notions of religion says somebody has   
been wicked4 ,somebody has been         
lecturing on ,sunday4  ,then the tribe  
hunted out the wicked man4  ,they said  
you've got to stop4 ,we cannot allow you
 to continue your wickedness1 which     
brings punishment upon the whole of us4 
,what is the reason they allow me to    
speak tonight4  ,because the ,christians
 are not as firm in their belief now as 
they were a thousand years ago4  ,the   
luke warmness and hypocrisy of          
,christians now permit me to speak      
tonight4  ,if they felt as they did a   
thousand years ago they would kill me4  
,so religious persecution was born of   
the instinct of self-defense4  ,is there
 any duty we owe to ,god8  ,can we help 
him1 can we add to his glory or         

happiness8  ,they tell me this ,god is  
infinitely wise1 ,i cannot add to his   
wisdom2 infinitely happy--,i cannot add 
to his happiness4  ,what can ,i do8     
,maybe he wants me to make prayers that 
won't be answered4  ,i cannot see any   
relation that can exist between the     
finite and the infinite4 ,i acknowledge 
that ,i am under obligations to my      
fellow man4  ,we owe duties to our      
fellow man4  ,and what8  ,simply to make
 them happy4  ,the only good1 is        
happiness2 and the only evil1 is misery1
 or unhappiness4  ,only those things are
 right that tend to increase the        
happiness of man2 only those things are 
wrong which tend to increase the misery 
of man4  ,that is the basis of right and
 wrong4  ,there never would have been   
the idea of wrong except that man can   
inflict sufferings upon others4         
,utility1 then1 is the basis of the idea
 of right and wrong4  ,the church tells 
us that this world is a school to       
prepare us for another1 that it is a    

place to build up character4  ,well1 if 
that is the only way character can be   
developed it is bad for children who die
 before they get any character4  ,what  
would you think of a school-master who  
would kill half his pupils the first    
day8  ,now1 ,i read the bible1 and ,i   
find that ,god so loved this world that 
,he made up ,his mind to damn the most  
of us4  ,i have read this book1 and what
 shall ,i say of it8  ,i believe it is  
generally better to be honest4 ,now1 ,i 
don't believe the bible4  ,had ,i not   
better say so8  ,they say that if you do
 you will regret it when you come to    
die4  ,if that be true1 ,i know a great 
many religious people who will have no  
cause to regret it--they don't tell     
their honest convictions about the      
bible4 ,there are two great arguments of
 the church--the great man argument and 
the death-bed4 ,they say the religion of
 your fathers is good enough4 ,why      
should your father object to your       
inventing a better plow than he had4    

,they say to one1 do you know more than 
all the theologians dead8 ,being a      
perfectly modest man ,i say ,i think ,i 
do4  ,now we have come to the conclusion
 that every man has a right to think4   
,would ,god give a bird wings and make  
it a crime to fly8  ,would he give me   
brains and make it a crime to think8    
,any ,god that would damn one of his    
children for the expression of his      
honest thought wouldn't make a decent   
thief4 ,when ,i read a book and don't   
believe it1 ,i ought to say so4  ,i will
 do so and take the consequence like a  
man4  ,and so ,i object to paying for   
the support of another man's belief4  ,i
 am in favor of the taxation of all     
church property4  ,if that property     
belongs to ,god1 ,he is able to pay the 
tax4 ,if we exempt anything1 let us     
exempt the home of the widow and orphan4
  ,a voice here interrupted the speaker4
  ,col4 ,ingersoll--,what did the       
gentleman say8  ,a voice--,o1 he's      
drunk4  ,col4 ,ingersoll--,i didn't     

think any ,christian ought to get drunk 
and come here to disturb us4  ,the      
speaker resumed3  ,the church has today 
#fjj1jjj1jjj or #gjj1jjj1jjj of property
 in this country4  ,it must cost        
#b1jjj1jjj a week1 that is to say #ejj a
 minute1 to run these churches4  ,you   
give me this money and if ,i don't do   
more good with it than four times as    
many churches ,i'll resign4  ,let them  
make the churches attractive and they'll
 get more hearers4  ,they will have less
 empty pews if they have less empty     
heads in the pulpit4  ,the time will    
come when the preacher will become a    
teacher4  ,admitting that the bible is  
the book of ,god1 is that ,his only good
 job8 ,will not a man be damned as quick
 for denying the equator as denying the 
bible8  ,will he not be damned as quick 
for denying geology as for denying the  
scheme of salvation8  ,when the bible   
was first written it was not believed4  
,had they known as much about science as
 we know now that bible would not have  

been written4   ,col4 ,ingersoll next   
gave his views of the ,puritans1        
declared they left ,holland to escape   
persecution and came came here to       
persecute others4 ,he referred to the   
persecutions heaped upon those of other 
religious belief by the ,puritans1 paid 
the ,catholics the compliment to say    
that ,maryland1 which they ruled1 was   
the first colony to enact a law         
tolerating religious views not held by  
themselves1 and went on to explain that 
,god was never mentioned in the         
constitution of the ,united ,states     
because each colony had a different     
religious belief1 and each sect         
preferred to have ,god not mentioned at 
all than to having another religious    
belief than their own recognized4  ,in  
#ahgf1 said the speaker1 our forefathers
 retired ,god from politics4 ,they said 
all power comes from the people4  ,they 
kept ,god out of the constitution and   
allowed each state to settle the        
question for itself4  ,the present laws 

of different states were neatly         
reviewed1 so far as they relate to the  
prevention of infidels giving testimony 
and to religious intolerance in any way1
 and these features were all branded and
 discussed as a gigantic evil4  ,the    
lecture was attentively listened to by  
the immense audience from beginning to  
the end1 and the speaker's most         
blasphemous fights were the most loudly 
applauded4       ,ingersoll's ,lecture  
on ,hereafter    ,my ,friends3   ,i tell
 you tonight1 as ,i have probably told  
many of you dozens of times1 that the   
orthodox doctrine of eternal punishment 
in the hereafter is an infamous one6  ,i
 have no respect for the man who        
preaches it1 or pretends to you he      
believes it4  ,neither have ,i any      
respect for the man who will pollute the
 imagination of innocent childhood with 
that infamous lie6  ,and ,i have no     
respect for the man who will            
deliberately add to the sorrows of this 
world with this terrible dogma2 no      

respect for the man who endeavors to put
 that infinite cloud and shadow over the
 heart of humanity4  ,i will be frank   
with you and say1 ,i hate the doctrine2 
,i despise it1 ,i defy it2 ,i loathe    
it--and what man of sense does not4     
,the idea of a hell was born of revenge 
and brutality on the one side1 and      
arrant cowardice on the other4  ,in my  
judgment the ,american people are too   
brave1 too generous1 too magnanimous1   
too humane to believe in that outrageous
 doctrine of eternal damnation4  ,for a 
great many years the learned intellects 
of ,christendom have been examining into
 the religions of other countries and   
other ages1 in the world--the religions 
of the myriads who have passed away4    
,they examined into the religions of    
,egypt1 the religion of ,greece1 that of
 ,rome and the ,scandinavian countries4 
,in the presence of the ruins of those  
religions1 the learned men of           
,christendom insisted that those        
religions were baseless1 false and      

fraudulent4  ,but they have all passed  
away4  ,now1 while this examination was 
being made1 the ,christianity of our day
 applauded1 and when the learned men got
 through with the religion of other     
countries1 they turned their attention  
to our religion1 and by the same        
methods1 by the same mode of reasoning  
and the same arrangements that they used
 with the old religions they were       
overturning the religion of our day4    
,how is that8 ,because every religion in
 this world is the work of man4  ,every 
book that was ever written was written  
by man4  ,man existed before books4  ,if
 otherwise1 we might reasonably admit   
that there was such a thing as a sacred 
bible4  ,i wish to call your attention  
to another thing4  ,man never had an    
original idea1 and he never will have   
one1 except it be supplied to him by his
 surroundings4  ,nature gave man every  
idea that he ever had in the world2 and 
nature will continue to give man his    
ideas so long as he exists4  ,no man can

 conceive of anything1 the hint of which
 he has not received from the           
surroundings4  ,and there is nothing on 
this earth1 coming from any other sphere
 whatever4  ,as ,i have before said1 man
 has produced every religion in the     
world4 ,why is this8  ,because each     
generation sends forth the knowledge and
 belief of the people at the time it was
 made1 and in no book is there any      
knowledge formed1 except just at the    
time it was written4 ,barbarians have   
produced barbarian religions1 and always
 will produce them4  ,they have         
produced1 and always will produce1 ideas
 and belief in harmony with their       
surroundings1 and all the religions of  
the past were produced by barbarians4   
,we are making religions every day2 that
 is to say1 we are constantly changing  
them1 adapting them to our purposes1 and
 the religion of today is not the       
religion of a few months or a year ago4 
,well1 what changes these religions8    
,science does it1 education does it2 the

 growing heart of man does it4  ,some   
men have nothing else to do but produce 
religions2 science is constantly        
changing them4  ,if we are cursed with  
such barbarian religions today--for our 
religions are really barbarous--what    
will they be an hundred or a thousand   
years hence8  ,but1 friends1 we are     
making inroads upon orthodoxy that      
orthodox ,christians are painfully aware
 of1 and what think you will be left of 
their fearful doctrines fifty or a      
hundred years from tonight8  ,what will 
become of their endless hell--their     
doctrine of the future anguish of the   
soul2 their doctrine of the eternal     
burning and never-ending gnashing of    
teeth4  ,man will discard the idea of   
such a future--because there is now a   
growing belief in the justice of a      
,supreme ,being4  ,do you not know that 
every religion in the world has declared
 every other religion a fraud8  ,yes1 we
 all know it4  ,that is the time all    
religions tell the truth--each of the   

other4  ,now1 do you want to know why   
this is3  ,suppose ,mr4 ,johnson should 
tell ,mr4 ,jones that he saw a corpse   
rise from the grave1 and that when he   
first saw it1 it was covered with       
loathsome worms1 and that while he was  
looking at it1 it suddenly was          
re-clothed in healthy1 beautiful flesh4 
,and then1 suppose ,jones should say to 
,johnson1 ,well1 now1 ,i saw that same  
thing myself4  ,i was in a graveyard    
once1 and ,i saw a dead man rise and    
walk away as if nothing had ever        
happened to him6 ,johnson opens wide his
 eyes and says to ,jones1 ,jones1 you   
are a confounded liar6 ,and ,jones says 
to ,johnson1 ,you are an unmitigated    
liar6  ,no1 ,i'm not2 you lie yourself4 
,no6  ,i say you lie6  ,each knew the   
other lied1 because each man knew he    
lied himself4  ,thus when a man says3   
,i was upon ,mount ,sinai for the       
benefit of my health1 and there ,i met  
,god1 who said to me1 ,stand aside1 you1
 and let me drown these people2 and the 

other man says to him1 ,i was upon a    
mountain1 and there ,i met the ,supreme 
,brahma4  ,and ,moses steps in and says1
 ,that is not true6 and contends that   
the other man never did see ,brahma1 and
 the other man swears that ,moses never 
saw ,god2 and each man utters a         
deliberate falsehood1 and immediately   
after speaks truth4  ,therefore1 each   
religion has charged every other        
religion with having been an unmitigated
 fraud4  ,still1 if any man had ever    
seen a miracle himself1 he would be     
prepared to believe that another man had
 seen the same or a similar thing4      
,whenever a man claims to have been     
cognizant of1 or to have seen a miracle1
 he either utters a falsehood1 or he is 
an idiot4  ,truth relies upon the       
unerring course of the laws of nature1  
and upon reason4 ,observe1 we have a    
religion--that is1 many people have4  ,i
 make no pretensions to having a        
religion myself--possibly you do not4 ,i
 believe in living for this beautiful   

world--in living for the present1 today2
 living for this very hour1 and while ,i
 do live to make everybody happy that ,i
 can4  ,i cannot afford to squander my  
short life--and what little talent ,i am
 blessed with in studying up and        
projecting schemes to avoid that        
seething lake of fire and brimstone4    
,let the future take care of itself1 and
 when ,i am required to pass over on the
 other side1 ,i am ready and willing to 
stand my chances with you howling       
,christians4  ,we have in this country a
 religion which men have preached for   
about eighteen hundred years1 and men   
have grown wicked just in proportion as 
their belief in that religion has grown 
strong2 and just in proportion as they  
have ceased to believe in it1 men have  
become just1 humane and charitable4     
,and if they believed in it tonight as  
they believed1 for instance1 at the time
 of the immaculate ,puritan fathers1 ,i 
would not be permitted to talk here in  
the city of ,new ,york4  ,it is from the

 coldness and infidelity of the churches
 that ,i get my right to preach2 and ,i 
thank them for it1 and ,i say it to     
their credit4  ,as ,i have said1 we have
 a religion4  ,what is it8  ,in the     
first place1 they say this vast universe
 was created by a ,god4  ,i don't know1 
and you don't know1 whether it was or   
not4  ,also1 if it had not been for the 
first sin of ,adam1 they say there would
 never have been any ,devil1 in this    
world1 and if there had been no ,devil1 
there would have been no sin1 and if no 
sin1 no death4  ,as for myself ,i am    
glad there is death in the world1 for   
that gives me a chance4  ,somebody has  
to die to give me room1 and when my turn
 comes ,i am willing to let some one    
else take my place4  ,but if there is a 
,being who gave me this life1 ,i thank  
,him from the bottom of my              
heart--because this life has been a joy 
and a pleasure to me4  ,further1 because
 of this first sin of ,adam1 they say1  
all men are consigned to eternal        

perdition6  ,but1 in order to save man  
from that frightful hell of the         
hereafter1 ,christ came to this world   
and took upon himself flesh1 and in     
order that we might know the road to    
eternal salvation4  ,he gave us a book  
called the bible1 and wherever that     
bible has been read men have immediately
 commenced throttling each other2 and   
wherever that bible has been circulated 
they have invented inquisitions and     
instruments of torture1 and commenced   
hating each other with all their hearts4
  ,then we are told that this bible is  
the foundation of civilization1 but ,i  
say it is the foundation of hell and    
damnation61 and we never shall get rid  
of that dogma until we get rid of the   
idea that the book is inspired4  ,now1  
what does the bible teach8 ,i am not    
going to ask this preacher or that      
preacher what the bible teaches2 but the
 question is1 ,ought a man be sent to an
 eternal hell for not believing this    
bible to be the work of a merciful ,god8

  ,a very few people read it now2       
perhaps they should read it1 and perhaps
 not2 if ,i wanted to believe it1 ,i    
should never read a word of it--never   
look upon its pages1 ,i would let it lie
 on its shelf1 until it rotted6 ,still1 
perhaps1 we ought to read it in order to
 see what is read in schools that our   
children might become charitable and    
good2 to be read to our children that   
they may get ideas of mercy1 charity    
humanity and justice6  ,oh1 yes6  ,now  
read3  ,i will make mine arrows drunk   
with blood and my sword shall devour    
flesh4--,deut4 xxxii1 #db4  ,very good  
for a merciful ,god6  ,that thy foot may
 be dipped in the blood of thine        
enemies1 and the tongue of the dogs in  
the same4--,psalms lxviii1 #bd4         
,merciful ,being6  ,i will quote several
 more choice bits from this inspired    
book1 although ,i have several times    
made use of them4  ,but the ,lord thy   
,god shall deliver them unto thee1 and  
shall destroy them with a mighty        

destruction1 until they be destroyed4   
,and he shall deliver their kings into  
thine hand1 and thou shalt destroy their
 name from under heaven2 there shall no 
man be able to stand before thee1 until 
thou have destroyed them4--,deut4 vii1  
#bc1 #bd4  ,and ,joshua did unto them as
 the ,lord bade him2 he houghed their   
horses1 and burnt their chariots with   
fire4  ,and ,joshua at that time turned 
back1 and took ,hazor1 and smote the    
king thereof with the sword2 for ,hazor 
beforetime was the head of all those    
kingdoms4  ,and all the cities of those 
kings1 and all the kings of them1 did   
,joshua take1 and smote them with the   
edge of the sword1 and he utterly       
destroyed them1 as ,moses1 the servant  
of the ,lord1 commanded4  ,and they     
smote all the souls that were therein   
with the edge of the sword1 utterly     
destroying them2 there was not any left 
to breathe2 and he burnt ,hazor with    
fire4  7,do not forget that these things
 were done by the command of ,god67     

,but as for the cities that stood still 
in their strength1 ,israel burnt none of
 them1 save ,hazor only1 that did       
,joshua burn4  ,and all the spoil of    
those cities and the cattle1 the        
children of ,israel took for a prey unto
 themselves2 but every man they smote   
with the edge of the sword1 until they  
had destroyed them1 neither left they   
any to breathe4  7,as the moral and just
 ,god had commanded them47  ,as the     
,lord commanded ,moses ,his servant1 so 
did ,moses command ,joshua1 and so did  
,joshua2 he left nothing undone of all  
that the ,lord had commanded ,joshua4   
,so ,joshua took all that land1 the     
hills1 and all the south country1 and   
all the land of ,goshen1 and the valley1
 and the plain and mountain of ,israel1 
and the valley of the same2  ,even from 
the ,mount ,halak1 that goeth up to     
,seir1 even unto ,baalgad in the valley 
of ,lebanon under ,mount ,hermon2 and   
all their kings he took1 and smote theme
 and slew them4  ,joshua made war a long

 time on all those kings4  ,there was   
not a city that made peace with the     
children of ,israel1 save the ,hivites1 
the inhabitants of ,gibeon2 all the     
others they took in battle4  ,so ,joshua
 took the whole land1 according to all  
that the ,lord said unto ,moses2 and    
,joshua gave it for an inheritance unto 
,israel1 according to their divisions by
 their tribes4  ,and the land rested    
from war4--,josh4 xi1 #g-bc4  ,when thou
 comest nigh unto a city to fight       
against it1 then proclaim peace unto it4
  ,and it shall be1 if it make thee     
answer of peace1 and open unto thee1    
then it shall be that all the people    
that is found therein shall be          
tributaries unto thee1 and they shall   
serve thee4  ,and if it will make no    
peace with thee1 but will make war      
against thee1 then thou shalt besiege   
it4  ,and when the ,lord thy ,god hath  
delivered it into thine hands1 thou     
shalt smite every male thereof with the 
edge of the sword4  ,but the women1 and 

the little ones1 and the cattle1 and all
 that is in the city1 even all the spoil
 thereof1 shaft thou take unto thyself2 
and thou shalt eat the spoil of thine   
enemies1 which the ,lord thy ,god hath  
given thee4  ,thus shalt thou do unto   
all the cities which are very far off   
from thee1 which are not of the cities  
of those nations4  ,but of the cities of
 these people1 which the ,lord thy ,god 
doth give thee for an inheritance1 thou 
shaft save alive nothing that breatheth4
  ,but thou shalt utterly destroy them4 
7,neither the old man nor the woman1 nor
 the beautiful maiden1 nor the sweet    
dimpled babe1 smiling upon the lap of   
its mother47  ,and ,he said unto them1  
,thus saith the ,lord ,god of ,israel 7a
 merciful ,god1 indeed71 put every man  
his sword by his side1 and go in and out
 from gate to gate throughout the camp1 
and slay every man his brother1 and     
every man his neighbor4--,es4 xxxii1    
#bi4  7,now recollect1 these            
instructions were given to an army of   

invasion1 and the people who were slayed
 were guilty of the crime of fighting   
for their homes and their firesides4    
,oh1 most merciful ,god6  ,the old      
testament is full of curses1 vengeance1 
jealousy and hatred1 and of barbarity   
and brutality4  ,now1 do you for one    
moment believe that these words were    
written by the most merciful ,god8      
,don't pluck from the heart the sweet   
flower of piety and crush it by         
superstition4  ,do not believe that ,god
 ever ordered the murder of innocent    
women and helpless babes4 ,do not let   
this superstition turn our heart into   
stone4  ,when anything is said to have  
been written by the most merciful ,god1 
and the thing is not merciful1 that ,i  
deny it1 and say ,he never wrote it4 ,i 
will live by the standard of reason1 and
 if thinking in accordance with reason  
takes me to perdition1 then ,i will go  
to hell with my reason1 rather than to  
heaven without it47  ,now1 does this    
bible teach political freedom2 or does  

it teach political tyranny8  ,does it   
teach a man to resist oppression8 ,does 
it teach a man to tear from the throne  
of tyranny the crowned thing and robber 
called king4  ,let us see4  ,let every  
soul be subject to the higher powers2   
,for there is no power but ,god3  the   
powers that be are ordained of          
,god4--,rom4 xiii1 ,i4  ,therefore to   
must needs be subject not only for      
wrath1 but also for conscience          
sake4--,rom4 viii1 #d1 #d4  7,i deny    
this wretched doctrine4  ,wherever the  
sword of rebellion is drawn to protect  
the rights of man1 ,i am a rebel4       
,wherever the sword of rebellion is     
drawn to give men liberty1 to clothe him
 in all his just rights1 ,i am on the   
side of that rebellion47  ,does the     
bible give woman her rights8  ,does it  
treat woman as she ought to be treated1 
or is it barbarian8  ,we will see3  ,let
 woman learn in silence with all        
subjection4--,i ,tim4 ii1 #aa  7,if a   
woman should know anything let her ask  

her husband4 ,imagine the ignorance of a
 lady who had only that source of       
information47  ,but suffer not a woman  
to teach1 nor to usurp authority over   
the man1 but to be in silence4  ,for    
,adam was first formed1 then ,eve4      
7,indeed67  ,and ,adam was not deceived1
 but the woman being deceived1 was in   
the transgression4  7,poor woman67      
,here is something from the old         
testament3  ,when thou goest forth to   
war against thine enemies1 and the ,lord
 thy ,god hath delivered them into thine
 hands1 and thou hast taken them        
captives2  ,and seest among the captives
 a beautiful woman1 and hast a desire   
unto her1 that thou wouldst have her to 
be thy wife2  ,then thou shalt bring her
 home to thine house2 and she shall     
shave her head1 and pare her            
nails4--,deut4 xxi1 #aj1 #aa1 #ab4      
7,that is self-defense1 ,i suppose67  ,i
 need not go further in bible quotations
 to show that woman1 throughout the old 
testament1 is a degraded being1 having  

no rights which her husband1 father1    
brother1 or uncle is bound to respect4  
,still1 that is bible doctrine1 and that
 bible is the word of a just and        
omniscient ,god6  ,does the bible teach 
the existence of devils8  ,of course it 
does4 ,yes1 it teaches not only the     
existence of a good being1 but a bad    
being4 ,this good being has to have a   
home2 that home was heaven4  ,this bad  
being had to have a home2 and that home 
was hell4  ,this hell is supposed to be 
nearer to earth than ,i would care to   
have it1 and to be peopled with spirits1
 spooks1 hobgoblins1 and all the fiery  
shapes with which the imagination of    
ignorance and fear could people that    
horrible place2 and the bible teaches   
the existence of hell and this big devil
 and all these little devils4  ,the     
bible teaches the doctrine of witchcraft
 and makes us believe that there are    
sorcerers and witches1 and that the dead
 could be raised by the power of        
sorcery4  ,does anybody believe it now8 

,then said ,saul unto his servants1 seek
 me a woman that hath a familiar spirit1
 that ,i may go to her and inquire of   
her4  ,and his servants said to him1    
,behold1 there is a woman that hath a   
familiar spirit at ,endor4  ,in another 
place he declares that witchcraft is an 
abomination unto the ,lord4  ,he wants  
no rivals in this business4  ,now what  
does the new testament teach3  ,then was
 ,jesus lead up of the ,spirit into the 
wilderness to be tempted of the devil4  
,and when he had fasted forty days and  
forty nights1 he was afterward          
a-hungered4  ,and when the tempter came 
to him1 he said if thou be the ,son of  
,god1 command these stones to be made   
bread4  ,but ,he answered and said it is
 written1 man shall not live by bread   
alone1 but by every word that proceedeth
 out of the mouth of ,god4  ,then the   
devil taketh him up into the holy city  
and setteth him on a pinnacle of the    
temple2  ,and saith unto him4  ,if thou 
be the ,son of ,god1 cast thyself down1 

for it is written1 ,he shall give ,his  
angels charge concerning thee2 and in   
their hands they shall bear thee up1    
lest at any time thou dash thy foot     
against a stone4  ,jesus said unto him1 
it is written again1 ,thou shalt not    
tempt the ,lord1 thy ,god1 and ,him only
 shalt thou serve4--,matt4 iv1 #a-g4    
7,is it possible that anyone can believe
 that the devil absolutely took ,god    
,almighty1 and put him upon the pinnacle
 of the temple1 and endeavored to       
persuade him to jump down8  ,is it      
possible87  ,again1 the devil taketh him
 into an exceedingly high mountain1 and 
showeth him all the kingdoms of the     
world1 and the glory of them2  ,and     
saith unto him1 ,all these things will  
,i give thee1 if thou wilt fall down and
 worship me4  ,then saith ,jesus unto   
him1 ,get thee hence1 ,satan1 for it is 
written1 ,thou shalt worship the ,lord  
thy ,god1 and him only shalt thou       
serve4--,matthew iv1 #h-aa4  7,now only 
the devil must have known at that time  

that ,he was ,god1 and ,god at that time
 must have known that the other was the 
devil1 who had the impudence to promise 
,god a world in which he did not have a 
tax-title to an inch of land47  ,now1   
what of the ,sabbath--the ,lord's day8  
,why is ,sunday the ,lord's day8 ,if    
,sunday alone is the ,lord's day1 whose 
day is ,monday1 ,tuesday1 ,friday1 etc48
  ,no matter6  ,the idea1 that ,god     
hates to hear your children laugh on    
,sunday6  ,on ,sunday let your children 
play games4  ,i see a poor man who      
hasn't money enough to go to a big      
church1 and he has too much independence
 to go to the little church which the   
big church built for charity4  ,if he   
enters the portals of the big church    
with poor clothes on1 the usher         
approaches him with a severe face1 and  
,brother1 ,i'm sorry1 but only          
high-toned servants of the living ,god  
congregate in this church for worship1  
and with that seedy suit on they cannot 
admit you4 ,all the seats in this       

magnificent edifice are owned and       
represented by 'solid' men1 by men of   
capital4  ,we pay our pastor #e1jjj a   
year--the annual eight weeks vacation   
thrown in--and it would not be          
profitable for us to seriously encourage
 the attendance of so insignificant a   
person as yourself4  ,just around the   
corner there is a little cheap church   
with a little cheap pastor1 where they  
can dish up hell to you in an approved  
style--in a style more suitable to your 
needs and condition2 and the dish will  
not be as expensive to you1 either6  ,if
 ,i had chanced to be that poor man in  
the seedy garments1 and had been        
endeavoring to serve my ,maker for even 
half a century1 ,i would have felt like 
muttering audibly1 ,you go to hell6  7,i
 am not much given to profanity1 but    
when ,i am sorely aggravated and vexed  
in spirit1 ,i declare to you that it is 
such a relief to me1 such a solace to my
 troubled soul1 and gives me such       
heavenly peace1 to now and then allow a 

word or phrase to escape my lips which  
can serve the no other earthly purpose1 
seemingly1 than to render emphatic my   
otherwise mildly expressed ideas4  ,i   
make this confession parenthetically1   
and in a whisper1 my friends1 trusting  
you will not allow it to go further47   
,now1 ,i tell you1 if you don't want to 
go to church1 go to the woods and take  
your wife and children and a lunch with 
you1 and sit down upon the old log and  
let the children gather flowers1 and    
hear the leaves whispering poems like   
memories of long ago6 and when the sun  
is about going down1 kissing the summits
 of the distant hills1 go home with your
 hearts filled with throbs of joy and   
gladness1 and the cheeks of your little 
ones covered with the rose-blushes of   
health6  ,there is more recreation and  
solid enjoyment in that than putting on 
your ,sunday clothes and going to a     
canal-boat with a steeple on top of it  
and listening to a man tell you that    
your chances are about ninety-nine      

thousand nine hundred and ninety-nine to
 one for being eternally damned6  ,oh1  
strike with a hand of fire1 weird       
musician1 thy harp1 strung with         
,apollo's golden hair6  ,fill the vast  
cathedral aisles with symphonies sweet  
and dim1 deft toucher of the organ's    
keys6 ,blow1 bugler1 blow1 until thy    
silver notes do touch and kiss the      
moonlit waves1 and charm the lovers     
wandering mid the vine-clad hills6--but 
know your sweetest strains are but      
discord compared with childhood's happy 
laugh--the laugh that fills the eyes    
with light and every heart with joy6    
,o1 rippling river of laughter2 thou art
 the blessed boundary line between      
beasts and men1 and every wayward wave  
of thine doth drown some fretful fiend  
of care4  ,o1 ,laughter1 rose-lipped    
daughter of joy1 there are dimples      
enough in thy cheek to catch and hold   
and glorify all the tears of grief6  ,do
 not make slaves of your children on    
,sunday4  ,don't place them in long1    

straight rows1 like fence-posts1 and    
,sh6 children1 it's ,sunday6 when by    
chance you hear a sound or rustle4  ,let
 winsome ,johnny have light and air1 and
 let him grow beautiful2 let him laugh  
until his little sides ache1 if he feels
 like it2 let him pinch the cat's tail  
until the house is in an uproar with his
 yells--let him do anything that will   
make him happy4  ,when ,i was a little  
boy1 children went to bed when they were
 not sleepy1 and always got up when they
 were8  ,i would like to see that       
changed--we may see it some day4  ,it is
 really easier to wake a child with a   
kiss than a blow2 with kind words than  
with harshness and a curse4  ,another   
thing3  let the children eat what they  
want to4 ,let them commence at whichever
 end of the dinner they please4 ,they   
know what they want much better than you
 do4  ,nature knows perfectly well what 
she is about1 and if you go a-fooling   
with her you may get into trouble4 ,the 
crime charged to me is this3 ,i insist  

that the bible is not the word of ,god2 
that we should not whip our children2   
that we should treat our wives as loving
 equals2 that ,god never upheld polygamy
 and slavery2 deny that ,god ever       
commanded his generals to slaughter     
innocent babes and tear and rip open    
women with the sword of war2 that ,god  
ever turned ,lot's wife into a pillar of
 salt 7although she might have deserved 
that fate72 that ,god ever made a woman 
out of a man's1 or any other animal's   
rib6  ,and ,i emphatically deny that    
,god ever signed or sealed a commission 
appointing his satanic majesty          
governor-general over an extensive      
territory popularly styled hell1 with   
absolute power to torture1 burn1 maim1  
boil1 or roast at his pleasure the      
victims of his master's displeasure6  ,i
 deny these things1 and for that ,i am  
assailed by the clergy throughout the   
,united ,states4 ,now1 you have read the
 bible romance of the fall of ,adam8    
,yes1 well1 you know that nearly or     

quite all the religions of this world   
account for the existence of evil by    
such a story as that6  ,adam1 the       
miserable coward1 informed ,god that his
 wife was at the bottom of the whole    
business6  ,she did tempt me and ,i did 
eat6  ,and then commenced a row1 and we 
have been engaged in it ever since6     
,you know what happened to ,adam and his
 wife for her transgressions8  ,in      
another account of what is said to have 
been the same transaction--which is the 
most sensible account of the two--the   
,supreme ,brahma concluded1 as he had a 
little leisure1 that he would make a    
world1 and a man and woman4  ,he made   
the world1 the man1 and then the woman1 
and then placed the pair on the ,island 
of ,ceylon4  7,bear in mind1 there were 
no ribs used in this affair47  ,this    
island is said to be the most beautiful 
that the mind of man can conceive of4   
,such birds you never saw1 such songs   
you never heard6 and then such flowers1 
such verdure6  ,the branches of the     

trees were so arranged that when the    
winds swept through1 there floated out  
from every tree melodious strains of    
music from a thousand6  ,aeolian harps6 
,after ,brahma put them there1 he said3 
,let them have a period of courtship1   
for it is my desire and will that true  
love should forever precede marriage4   
,and with the nightingale singing1 and  
the stars twinkling1 and the little     
brooklets murmuring1 and the flowers    
blooming1 and the gentle breezes fanning
 their brows1 they courted1 and loved6  
,what a sweet courtship4 ,then ,brahma  
married the happy pair1 and remarked3   
,remain here2 you can be happy on this  
island1 and it is my will that you never
 leave it4  ,well1 after a little while 
the man became uneasy1 and said to the  
wife of his youth1 ,i believe ,i'll look
 about a little4  ,he determined to seek
 greener pastures4  ,he proceeded to the
 western extremity of the island1 and   
discovered a little narrow neck of land 
connecting the island with the mainland1

 and the devil--they had a genuine devil
 in those days1 too1 it seems1 who is   
always playing the devil with           
us--produced a mirage1 and over on the  
mainland were such hills and vales1 such
 dells and dales1 such lofty mountains  
crowned with perpetual snow1 such       
cataracts clad in bows of glory1 that he
 rushed breathlessly back to his wife1  
exclaiming3--,o1 ,heva6 the country over
 there is a thousand times better and   
lovelier than this2 let us migrate4     
,she1 woman-like1 said ,adami1 we must  
let well enough alone2 we have all we   
want2 let us stay here4  ,but he said3  
,no1 we will go4 ,she followed him1 and 
when they came to this narrow neck of   
land1 he took her upon his back and     
carried her across4  ,but at the instant
 he put her down there was a crash1 and 
looking back they discovered that this  
narrow neck of land had fallen into the 
sea4 ,the mirage had disappeared1 and   
there was nothing but rocks and sand1   
and the ,supreme ,brahma cursed them to 

the lowest hell4 ,then ,adami spoke--and
 it showed him to be every inch a       
man--,curse me1 but curse not her2 it   
was not her fault1 it was mine4 7,our   
,adam says1 with a pusillanimous        
whine1--,curse her1 for it is her fault3
  she tempted me and ,i did eat6 ,the   
world1 today1 is teeming with just such 
cowards67  ,then said ,brahma1 ,i will  
save her1 but not thee4  ,and then spoke
 his wife1 out of the fullness of the   
love of a heart in which there was      
enough to make all her daughters rich in
 holy affection1 ,if thou wilt not spare
 him1 spare neither me2 ,i do not wish  
to live without him4 ,i love him4 ,then 
magnanimously said the ,supreme ,brahma1
 ,i will spare you both1 and watch over 
you and your children forever6  ,now1   
tell me truly1 which is the grander     
story8  ,the book containing this story 
is full of good things2 and yet         
,christians style as heathens those who 
have adopted this book as their guide1  
and spend thousands of dollars annually 

in sending missionaries to convert them6
  ,it has been too often conceded that  
because the new testament contains1 in  
many passages1 a lofty and terse        
expression of love as the highest duty  
of man1 ,christianity must have a       
tendency to ennoble his nature4 ,but    
,christianity is like sweetened whisky  
and water--it perverts and destroys that
 which it should nourish and strengthen4
  ,christianity makes an often fatal    
attack on a man's morality--if he       
happens to be blessed with any--by      
substituting for the sentiments of love 
and duty to our neighbors1 a sense of   
obligation of blind obedience to an     
infinite1 mysterious1 revengeful1       
tyrannical ,god6  ,the real principle of
 ,christian morality1 is servile        
obedience to a dangerous ,power6        
,dispute the assertions of even your    
priest as to the requirements1 dislikes1
 desires and wishes of the ,almighty1   
and you might as well count yourself as 
lost1 sulphurically lost6  ,if you are  

one of ,god's chosen1 or in other words1
 have been saved1 and are even so       
fortunate as to attain to the glories   
and joys of the gold-paved streets of   
heaven1 you are expected1 in looking    
over the banisters of heaven down into  
the abyss of eternal torture1 to view   
with complacency the agonized features  
of your mother1 sister1 brother1 or     
infant child--who are writhing in       
hell--and laugh at their calamity6  ,you
 are not allowed to carry them a drop of
 water to cool their parched tongue6    
,and if you are a ,christian1 you at    
this moment believe you will enjoy the  
situation6  ,if a man in a quarrel cuts 
down his neighbor in his sins1 the poor1
 miserable victim goes directly to hell6
  ,the murderer may reasonably count on 
a lease of a few weeks of life1         
interviews his pastor1 confesses the    
crime1 repents1 accepts the grace of    
,god1 is forgiven1 and then smoothly and
 gently slides from the                 
rudely-constructed scaffold into a haven

 of joy and bliss1 there to sing the    
praises of the ,lamb of ,god forever and
 forever6 ,poor1 unfortunate victim6    
,happy murderer6  ,ah1 what a beautiful 
religion humanitarianism and charity99  
might become6  99 ,the following        
incident1 showing ,col4 ,ingersoll's    
disposition to practice what he preaches
 whenever the opportunity presents      
itself1 we have never before seen in    
print4  ,one day1 during the winter of  
#ahfc-d1 when the colonel had a law     
office in ,peoria4 ,ill4--and before the
 close of the late war of the           
rebellion--a thinly clad1 middle-aged1  
lady-like woman came into his office and
 asked assistance1 ,my good woman1 why  
do you ask it8 ,sir1 my husband is a    
private in the --th ,illinois infantry1 
and stationed somewhere in ,virginia1   
but ,i do not know where as ,i have not 
heard from him for nearly six months1   
although previous to that time ,i seldom
 failed to get a letter from him as     
often as once a week1 and whenever he   

received his pay the most of his money  
came to me4 ,to tell the truth1 ,i do   
not know whether he is living or not4   
,but one thing ,i do know1 ,i do not    
hear from him4 ,i have seven children to
 provide for1 but no money in the house1
 not a particle of bread in the pantry1 
nor a lump of coal in the shed1 and the 
landlord threatening to turn us out in  
the storm4 ,this city pledged itself to 
give wives a certain sum monthly1       
providing they consented to their       
husband's responding to the call of the 
,president for troops1 but1 disregarding
 these pledges1 we and our children are 
left to starve and freeze1 and to be    
turned out of our houses and homes by   
relentless landlords4 ,now1 sir1 can you
 tell me what ,i am to do8  ,the        
,colonel drew his bandanna from his     
great coat pocket1 lightly touched his  
eyes with it1 and rising to his feet1   
pointed to a chair--,sit down1 madame1  
and remain till ,i return4  ,i will be  
back in a few minutes4  ,he picked up a 

half-sheet of legal-cap and a pencil1   
and departed for the law and other      
offices of the building--of which there 
were several4  ,entering the first that 
appeared1 ,good morning1 ,smith1 give me
 half-a-dollar4  ,well1 now1 colonel1   
you are--  ,never mind if ,i am--,i must
 have it6  ,it came4  ,he entered       
another4  ,hello6 colonel1 what's new8  
,i want a half-dollar from you6  ,what  
for8 ,none of your business--,i want the
 money4  ,he got it4  ,he entered a     
third4  ,hello1 ,bob6  ,anything new on 
eter--  ,never mind1 ,i must have fifty 
cents6  ,but--  ,but nothing1 ,jones1   
give me what ,i ask for4 ,of course he  
got what he asked for4  ,so on through  
fourteen offices1 from which he obtained
 #g4  ,returning to his office1 he put  
his hand in his own pocket and drew     
forth a #e note1 and handed the woman   
#ab4 ,take this1 my good woman1 and make
 it go as far as you can4  ,if you      
obtain relief from no other source1 call
 on me again and ,i will do the best ,i 

can for you6  ,and still ,col4          
,ingersoll is styled by hell-fire       
advocates an infidel1 atheist1 dog6  ,to
 do so sweet a thing as to love our     
neighbors as we love ourselves2 to      
strive to attain to as perfect a spirit 
as a ,golden ,rule would bring us into2 
to make virtue lovely by living it1     
grandly and nobly and patiently the     
outgrowth of a brotherhood not possible 
in this world where men are living away 
from themselves1 and trampling justice  
and mercy and forgiveness under their   
feet6  ,speaking of the different       
religions1 of course they are           
represented by the different churches2  
and the best hold of the churches1 and  
the surest way of giving totally        
depraved humanity a realizing sense of  
their utterly lost condition1 is to talk
 and preach hell with all its horrible1 
terrible concomitants4  ,true1 the      
different priests advocate the doctrine1
 only when they see that it is the only 
thing to rouse the sinners from their   

lethargy2 for where is the man who will 
not accept the grace of ,jesus ,christ1 
if he becomes convinced that his state  
in the hereafter is a terrible one6     
,the ministers of the different churches
 know full well which side of their     
bread is buttered4  ,a priest is a      
divinity among his people--a man around 
whom his parishioners throw a glamour of
 sanctity1 and one who can do no wrong2 
albeit1 his chief and growing           
characteristics are tyranny1 arrogancy1 
self-conceit1 deception1 bigotry and    
superstition6  ,tyrannical do ,i call   
them8  ,most assuredly6 ,suppose1 for   
example1 the ,methodist1 or             
,presbyterian church had the power to   
decide whether you1 or ,i1 or any other 
man1 should be a ,methodist or          
,presbyterian1 and we should decline to 
follow the path pointed out to us1 or   
either of us1 what ,i solemnly and      
candidly ask you1 would be the result8  
,our fate would be more terrible than   
their endless hell6  ,the inquisition   

would rise again in all its horrid      
blackness6  ,instruments of torture     
would darken our vision on every hand6  
,but1 thank ,god--not that terrible     
being whom ,christians would have us    
believe is our ,maker--this is a free   
land--free as the air we breathe2 and   
you and ,i can partake of the orthodox  
waters of life freely1 or we can let    
them alone6  ,when ,i see a man perched 
upon a pedestal called a pulpit     a   
man who is one of nature's noblemen1    
physically1 and fully able to breast the
 storms of life and earn his honest     
living--telling his hearers with        
perspiring brow and all his might and   
main of the terrors of the seething     
cauldron of hell1 and how certain it is 
that they are to be unceremoniously     
dumped therein to be boiled through all 
ages1 yet never boiled done--unless they
 seek salvation--when ,i look upon that 
man1 honor bright1 ,i pity him1 for ,i  
cannot help comparing him with the lower
 animals6  ,then there is a reaction1   

and ,i feel an utter contempt for him1  
for he may know1 when he declares hell  
is a reality1 that he is lying6  ,now1  
of the deception of the preacher4  ,at  
the close of a sermon in an orthodox    
church1 ,rev4 ,mr4 ,solemnface steps to 
the side of ,bro4 ,everbright1 who has  
been absent from the brimstone-mill for 
several months3  ,ah1 ,bro4 ,everbright1
 how do you do8  ,long time since ,i    
have seen you2 how's your family8       
,quite well8  ,is it well with thee     
today8  ,rather lukewarm1 eh8  ,sorry1  
sorry4  ,well1 brother1 can you do      
something for us financially1 today8    
,our people think my pulpit is too      
common1 and say a couple hundred will   
put it in good shape1 and make it       
desirable and attractive4  ,can you     
contribute a few dollars to the fund8   
,well1 ,bro4 ,solemnface1 for four long 
months ,i have been ill2 not a day's    
work have ,i done1 and not a cent of    
money have ,i that ,i can call my own4  
,next year ,i trust ,i can do something 

for the cause of my ,maker4             
,ah-h-h-h-h-h6 and ,bro4 ,s4's face     
assumes a terrible look of              
disappointment1 and he is gone in a     
moment4  ,out upon such a fraud6 ,the   
pulpits of the land are full of them4   
,the world is cursed with them6 ,they   
possess all the elements of vagabonds1  
dead-beats1 falsifiers1 beggars1        
vultures1 hyenas and jackals6  ,in past 
ages the cross has been in partnership  
with the sword1 and the religion of     
,christ was established by murderers1   
tyrants and hypocrites4 ,i want you to  
know that the church carried the black  
flag1 and ,i ask you what must have been
 the civilizing influence of such a     
religion8  ,of all the selfish things in
 this world1 it is one man wanting to   
get to heaven1 caring nothing what      
becomes of the rest of mankind1 saying3 
,if ,i can only get my little soul in6  
,i have always noticed that the people  
who have the smallest souls make the    
most fuss about getting them saved4     

,here is what we are taught by the      
church of today4  ,we are taught by them
 that fathers and mothers can all be    
happy in heaven1 no matter who may be in
 hell2 that the husband could be happy  
there1 with the wife that would have    
died for him at any moment of his life1 
in hell4  ,but they say1 ,hell1 we don't
 believe in fire4 ,i don't think you    
understand me4  ,what we believe in now 
is remorse4 ,what will you have remorse 
for8  ,for the mean things you have done
 when you are in hell8 ,will you have   
any remorse for the mean things you have
 done when you are in heaven8  ,or will 
you be so good then that you won't care 
how you used to be8  ,i tell you today1 
that no matter in what heaven you may   
be1 no matter in what star you are      
spending the summer2 if you meet another
 man whom you have wronged1 you will    
drop a little behind in the tune4  ,and1
 no matter in what part of hell you are1
 you will meet some one who has         
suffered1 whose nakedness you have      

clothed1 and the fire will cool up a    
little4  ,according to this ,christian  
doctrine1 you won't care how mean you   
were once4  ,is it a compliment to an   
infinite ,god to say that every being   
,he ever made deserved to be damned the 
minute ,he had got him done1 and that   
,he will damn everybody ,he has not had 
a chance to make over8 ,is it possible  
that somebody else can be good for me1  
and that this doctrine of the atonement 
is the only anchor for the human soul8  
,we sit by the fireside and see the     
flames and sparks fly up the            
chimney--everybody happy1 and the cold  
wind and sleet beating on the window1   
and out on the doorstep a mother with a 
child on her breast freezing4  ,how     
happy it makes a fire1 that beautiful   
contrast4  ,and we say ,god is good1 and
 there we sit1 and there she sits and   
moans1 not one night1 but forever4  ,or 
we are sitting at the table with our    
wives and children1 everybody eating1   
happy and delighted1 and ,famine comes  

and pushes out its shriveled palms1 and1
 with hungry eyes1 implores us for a    
crust2 how that would increase the      
appetite6  ,and that is the ,christian  
heaven4 ,don't you see that these       
infamous doctrines petrify the human    
heart8 ,and ,i would have every one who 
hears me swear that he will never       
contribute another dollar to build      
another church1 in which is taught such 
infamous lies4  ,let every man try to   
make every day a joy1 and ,god cannot   
afford to damn such a man4 ,consequently
 humanity is the only real religion4    
,man's inhumanity to man ,makes         
countless millions mourn4               
,ingersoll's ,lecture on the ,review of 
,his ,reviewers    ,ladies and          
,gentlemen3   ,what have ,i said8  ,what
 has been my offense8 ,i have been      
spoken of as if ,i were a wolf          
endeavoring to devour the entire fold of
 sheep in the absence of the shepherd4  
,i believe in the trinity of            
observation1 reason and science2 the    

trinity of man1 woman and child2 the    
trinity of love1 joy and hope2 and      
thought that every man has a right to   
think for himself1 and no other man has 
the right to debar him of this privilege
 by torture1 by social ostracism1 or any
 of the numerous other expedients       
resorted to by the enemies of           
advancement4 ,i ask3  ,does ,god wish   
the lip-worship of a slave8 a sneak8 of 
the man that dares not reason8  ,if ,i  
were the infinite ,god1 ,i would rather 
have the worship of one good man of     
brains than a world of such men4  ,i am 
told that ,i am in danger of everlasting
 fire1 and that ,i shall burn forever in
 hell3  ,i tell you1 my friends1 if ,i  
were going to hell tonight ,i would take
 an overcoat with me4  ,do not tell me  
that the eternal future of a man may    
depend upon his belief1 ,i deny it4     
,that a man should be punished for      
having come to an honest conclusion1 the
 honest production of his brain2 that an
 honest conclusion should be deemed a   

crime and so declared1 it is an         
infamous1 monstrous assertion1 and ,i   
would rather go to hell than to keep the
 company of a ,god who would damn his   
child for an honest belief4  ,next1 ,i  
'preached' that a woman was the equal of
 man1 entitled to everything that he is 
entitled to1 to be his partner1 and to  
be cherished and respected because she  
is the weaker1 to be treated as a       
splendid flower4  ,i said that man      
should not be cross to her1 but fill the
 house that she is in with such joy that
 it would burst out at the window4  ,i  
have said that matrimony is the holiest 
of sacraments1 and ,i have said that the
 bible took woman up thousands of years 
ago and handed her down to man as a     
slave1 and ,i have said that the bible  
is a barbarous book for teaching that   
she is a slave1 and ,i repeat it1 and   
will prove later what ,i have said4  ,i 
have pleaded for the right of man1 of   
wife1 and of the little child2 ,i have  
said we can govern children by love and 

affection2 ,i have asked for tender     
treatment for the child of crime2 ,i    
have asked mothers to cease beating     
their children and take them to their   
hearts2 and for this ,i am denounced by 
the religious press and men in the      
pulpits as a demon and a monster of     
heresy1 who should be driven out from   
among you as an unclean thing4  ,but ,i 
should not complain4  ,only a few years 
ago ,i should have been compelled to    
look at my denouncers through flame and 
smoke2 but they dare not treat me so now
 or they would4  ,one hundred years ago 
,i should have been burned for claiming 
the right of reason2 fifty years ago ,i 
should have been imprisoned and my wife 
and children would have been torn away  
from me1 and twenty-five years ago ,i   
could not have made a living in the     
,united ,states in my profession--the   
law4  ,but ,i live now and can see      
through it all1 and all is light4  ,i   
delivered another lecture1 on ,ghosts1  
in which ,i sought to show that man had 

been controlled in the past by phantoms 
created by his own imagination2 in which
 the pencil of fear had drawn pictures  
for him on the canvass of superstition1 
and that men had groveled in they dirt  
before their own superstitious          
creations4  ,i endeavored to show that  
man had received nothing from these     
ghosts but hatred1 blood1 ignorance and 
unhappiness1 and that they had filled   
our world with woe and tears4  ,this is 
what ,i endeavored to show--no more4    
,now1 every one has as much right to    
differ with me as ,i with them1 but it  
does not make the slightest difference  
for the purpose of argument whether ,i  
am a good man or a bad1 whether ,i am   
ugly or handsome--although ,i would not 
object to resting my case on that issue2
 the only thing to be considered and    
discussed is1 is what ,i have said true1
 or is it untrue8  ,now1 ,i said that   
the bible came from the ghosts1 and that
 they gave us the doctrine of           
immortality of the soul1 which ,i deny4 

,now1 the immortality of the soul1 if   
there is such a thing1 is a fact1 and   
therefore no book could make it4  ,if ,i
 am immortal1 ,i am2 if not1 no book can
 make me so4  ,the doctrine of          
immortality is based in the hope of the 
human heart1 and is not derived from any
 book or creed4  ,it has its origin in  
the ebb and flow of the human           
affections1 and will continue as long as
 affection1 and is the rainbow in the   
sky of hope4 ,it does not depend on a   
book1 on ghosts1 superstition of any    
kind2 it is a flower of the human heart4
  ,i did say that these ghosts1 or the  
book1 taught that human slavery was     
right1 that most monstrous of all       
crimes1 that makes miserable the victim 
and debases the master1 for a slave can 
have all the virtues while the master   
can not4  ,i did say that it riveted the
 chains upon the oppressed1 and that it 
counseled the robbing of that most      
precious of all boons--,liberty4  ,i add
 that the book upheld all this1 that it 

sustained and sanctified the institution
 of human slavery4  ,i did also assert  
that this same book1 which my critics   
claim was inspired by ,god1 inculcated  
the doctrine of witchcraft1 for which   
people1 through its teaching were hanged
 and burned for bringing disease upon   
the regal persons of kings1 and for     
souring beer4  ,i did say that this book
 upheld that most of all infamies1      
polygamy1 and that it did not teach     
political liberty or religious          
toleration1 but political slavery and   
the most wretched intolerance4  ,i did  
try to prove that these ghosts knew less
 than nothing about medicine1 politics1 
legislation1 astronomy1 geology and     
astrology1 but ,i am also aware that in 
saving these things ,i have done what my
 censors think ,i ought not to have     
done4  ,but the victor ought not to feel
 malice1 and ,i shall have none4  ,as   
soon as ,i had said all these things1   
some gentlemen felt called upon to      
answer them1 which they had a right to  

do4  ,now1 ,i like fairness1 am enamored
 with it1 probably because ,i get so    
little of it4  ,i can say a great many  
mean things1 for ,i have read all the   
religious papers1 and ,i ought to be    
able to account for every motive in a   
mean manner after4  ,the first gentleman
 whom ,i shall call your attention to is
 the ,rev4 ,dr4 ,woodbridge4  ,it seems 
that when ,i delivered my lectures the  
conclusion had come to that man does not
 believe in anything but matter and     
force--that man does not believe in     
spirit4  ,why not8  ,if by spirit you   
mean that which thinks1 ,i am one of    
them myself4  ,if you mean by spirit    
that which hopes and reasons and loves  
and aspires1 why1 then1 ,i am a believer
 in spirits2 but whatever spirit there  
is in this universe ,i will take my oath
 is a natural product and not           
superimposed upon this world4  ,all ,i  
will say is that whatever is1 is        
natural1 and there is as much goodness  
in my judgment1 as much spirit here in  

this world as in any other1 and you are 
just as near the heart of the universe  
here as you ever can be4  ,but1 they    
say1 there is matter and force1 and     
there is force and there is spirit4     
,well1 what of it8  ,there is no matter 
without force4  ,what would keep it     
together unless there was force8  ,can  
you imagine matter without force8       
,honor bright1 can you conceive of force
 without matter8  ,and what is spirit8  
,they say spirit is the first thing that
 ever was4  ,it seems to me sometimes as
 though spirit was the blossom and fruit
 of all1 and not the commencement4  ,but
 they say spirit was first4 ,what would 
that spirit do8  ,no force--no matter--a
 spirit living in an infinite vacuum    
without side1 edge or bottom4  ,this    
spirit created the world2 and if this   
spirit did1 there must have been a time 
when it commenced to create1 and back of
 that an eternity spent in absolute     
idleness4  ,can a spirit exist without  
matter or without force8 ,i honestly say

 ,i do not know what matter is1 what    
force is1 what spirit is2 but if you    
mean by matter anything that ,i can     
touch1 or by force anything that we can 
overcome then ,i believe in them4  ,if  
you mean by spirit anything that can    
think and love1 ,i believe in spirits4  
,the next critic who assailed me was the
 ,rev4 ,mr4 ,kalloch4  ,i am not going  
to show you what ,i can withstand4  ,i  
am not going to say a word about the    
reputation of this man1 although he took
 some liberties with mine4  ,this       
gentleman says negation is a poor thing 
to die by4  ,i would just as lief die by
 that as the opposite4  ,he spoke of the
 last hours of ,paine and ,voltaire and 
the terrors of their death-beds2 but the
 question arises1 is there a word of    
truth in all he said8  ,i have observed 
that the murderer dies with courage and 
firmness in many instances1 but that    
does not make me think that it          
sanctified his crime2 in fact1 it makes 
no impression upon me one way or the    

other4 ,when a man through old age or   
infirmity approaches death the          
intellectual faculties are dimmed1 his  
senses become less and less1 and as he  
loses these he goes back to his old     
superstition4 ,old age brings back the  
memories of childhood4  ,and the great  
bard gave in the corrupt and besotted   
,falstaff--who prattled of babbling     
brooks and green fields--an instance of 
the retracing steps taken by the memory 
at the last gasp4  ,it has been said    
that the bible was sanctified by our    
mothers4  ,every superstition in the    
world1 from the beginning of all time1  
has had such a sanctification4  ,the    
,turk dying on the ,russian battlefield1
 pressing the ,koran to his bosom1      
breathes his last thinking of the loving
 adjuration of his mother to guard it4  
,every superstition has been rendered   
sacred by the love of a mother4  ,i know
 what it has cost the noble and the     
brave to throw to the winds these       
superstitions4  ,since the death of     

,voltaire1 who was innocent of all else 
than a desire to shake off the          
superstitions of the past1 the curse of 
,rome has pursued him1 and ignorant     
protestants have echoed that curse4  ,i 
like ,voltaire4 ,whenever ,i think of   
him it is as a plumed knight coming from
 the fray with victory shining upon his 
brow4  ,he was once in the ,bastille1   
and while there he changed his name from
 ,francis ,marie ,aloysius to ,voltaire2
 and when the ,bastille was torn down   
,voltaire was the battle cry of those   
who did it4  ,he did more to bring about
 religious toleration than any man in   
the galaxy of those who strove for the  
privilege of free thought4  ,he was     
always on the side of justice4  ,he was 
full of faults and had many virtues4    
,his doctrines have never brought       
unhappiness to any country4  ,he died as
 serenely as anyone could4  ,speaking to
 his servant1 he said1 ,farewell my     
faithful friend4  ,could he have done a 
more noble act than to recognize him who

 had served him faithfully as a man8    
,what more could he wished8  ,and now   
let me say here1 ,i will give a #a1jjj  
in gold to any clergyman who can        
substantiate that the death of ,voltaire
 was not as peaceful as the dawn4  ,and 
of ,thomas ,paine1 whom they assert died
 in fear and agony1 frightened by the   
clanking chains of devils1 in fact1     
frightened to death by ,god--,i will    
give #a1jjj likewise to anyone who can  
substantiate this absurd story--a story 
without a word of truth in it4  ,and let
 me ask1 who dies in the most fear1 the 
man who1 like the saint1 exclaims3  ,my 
,god1 my ,god6 why hast thou forsaken   
me8 or ,voltaire1 who peacefully and    
quietly bade his servant farewell8  ,the
 question is not who died right1 but who
 lived right4  ,i look upon death as the
 most unimportant moment of life1 and   
believe that not half the responsibility
 is attached to dying that is to living 
properly4  ,this ,rev4 ,mr4 ,kalloch is 
a baptist4  ,he has a right to be a     

baptist4  ,the first baptist1 though was
 a heretic2 but it is among the wonders 
that when a heretic gets fifteen or     
twenty to join him he suddenly begins to
 be orthodox4  ,roger ,williams was a   
baptist1 but how he1 or anyone not      
destitute of good sense1 could be one1  
passes my comprehension4  ,let me       
illustrate3  ,suppose it was the ,day of
 ,judgment tonight and we were all      
assembled1 as the ghosts say we will be1
 to be judged1 and ,god should ask a    
man3  ,have you been a good man8  ,yes4 
,have you loved your wife and children8 
,yes4  ,have you taken good care of them
 and made them happy8  ,yes4  ,have you 
tried to do right by your neighbors8    
,yes4  ,paid all your debts8  ,yes4     
,and then cap the climax by asking3     
,were you ever baptized8  ,could a      
solitary being hear that question       
without laughing8  ,i think not4  ,i    
once happened to be in the company of   
six or seven baptist elders 7,i never   
have been able to understand since how  

,i got into such bad company71 and they 
wanted to know what ,i thought of       
baptism4  ,i answered that ,i had not   
given the matter any attention1 in fact 
,i had no special opinion upon the      
subject4 ,but they pressed me and       
finally ,i told them that ,i thought1   
with soap baptism was a good thing4     
,the ,rev4 ,mr4 ,guard has attacked me1 
and has described me1 among other       
things1 as a dog barking at a train4    
,of course he was the train4  ,he said1 
first1 the bible is not an immoral book1
 because ,i swore upon it when ,i joined
 the ,free and ,accepted ,masons4  ,that
 settles the question4 ,secondly1 he    
says that ,solomon had softening of the 
brain and fatty degeneration of the     
heart2 thirdly1 that the ,hebrews had   
the right to slay all the inhabitants of
 ,canaan according to the doctrine of   
the survival of the fittest4  ,he says  
that the destruction of these           
,canaanites1 the ripping open by the    
bloody sword of women with child was an 

act of sublime mercy4  ,think of that6  
,he says that the ,canaanites should    
have been driven from their homes1 and  
not only driven1 but that the men who   
simply were guilty of the crime of      
fighting for their native land--the old 
men with gray hairs2 the old mothers1   
the young mothers1 the little dimpled1  
prattling child--that it was an act of  
sublime mercy to plunge the sword of    
religious persecution into old and      
young4  ,if that is mercy1 let us have  
injustice4  ,if there is that kind of a 
,god ,i am sorry that ,i exist4         
,fourthly1 ,mr4 ,guard said ,god has the
 right to do as he pleases with the     
beings he has created2 and1 fifthly1    
that ,god1 by choosing the ,jews and    
governing them personally1 spoiled them 
to that degree that they crucified ,him 
the first opportunity they had4  ,that  
shows what a good administration will   
do4 ,sixthly1 ,he says polygamy is not a
 bad thing when compared with the       
picture of ,anthony and ,cleopatra1 now 

on exhibition in this city4  ,i will    
just say one word about art4  ,i think  
this is one of the most beautiful words 
in our language1 and do you know1 it    
never seemed to me necessary for art to 
go into partnership with a rag8  ,i like
 the paintings of ,angelo1 of           
,raphael--,i like those splendid souls  
that are put upon canvas--all there is  
of human beauty4 ,there are brave souls 
in every land who worship nature grand  
and nude1 and who1 with swift1 indignant
 hand1 tear off the fig leaves of the   
prude4  ,seventhly1 it may be said that 
the bible sanctions slavery1 but that it
 is not an immoral book if it does4     
,mr4 ,guard playfully says that he is a 
puppy nine days old2 that he was only   
eight days old when ,i came here4  ,i'm 
inclined to think he has over stated his
 age4  ,i account for his argument      
precisely as he did for the sin of      
,solomon1 softening of the brain1 or    
fatty degeneration of the heart4  ,it   
does seem to me that if ,i were a good  

,christian and knew that another man was
 going down to the bottomless pit to be 
miserable and in agony forever1 ,i would
 try to stop him1 and instead of filling
 my mouth with epithet and invective1   
and drawing the lips of malice back from
 the teeth of hatred1 my eyes would be  
filled with tears1 and ,i would do what 
,i could to reclaim him and take him up 
in the arms of my affection4  ,the next 
gentleman is the ,rev4 ,mr4 ,robinson1  
who delivered a sermon entitled ',ghost 
against ,god1 or ,ingersoll against     
,honesty4'  ,of course he was honest4   
,he apologized for attending an infidel 
lecture upon the ground that he hated to
 contribute to the support of a         
materialistic showman4  ,i am willing to
 trade fagots for epithets1 and the rack
 for anything that may be said in his   
sermon4  ,i am willing to trade the     
instrument of torture with which they   
could pull the nails from my fingers for
 anything which the ingenuity of        
orthodoxy can invent4 ,when ,i saw that 

report--although ,i do not know that ,i 
ought to tell it--,i felt bad4  ,i knew 
that man's conscience must be rankling  
like a snake in his bosom1 that he had  
contributed a dollar to the support of a
 man as bad as ,i4  ,i wrote him a      
letter1 in which ,i said3  ,the ,rev4   
,samuel ,robinson1 ,my ,dear ,sir4  ,in 
order to relieve your conscience of the 
stigma of having contributed to the     
support of an unbeliever in ,ghosts1 ,i 
herewith enclose the dollar you paid to 
attend my lecture4 ,i then gave him a   
little good advice to be charitable1 and
 regretted exceedingly that any man     
could listen to me for an hour and a    
half and not go away satisfied that     
other men had the same right to think   
that he had4  ,the speaker went on to   
answer the argument of ,mr4 ,robinson   
with regard to persecution1 contending  
that protestants had been guilty of it  
no less than catholics2 and showing that
 the first people to pass an act of     
toleration in the new world were the    

catholics in ,maryland4  ,the reverend  
gentleman has stated also that          
infidelity has done nothing for the     
world in the development of art and     
science4  ,has he ever heard of ,darwin1
 of ,tyndall1 of ,huxley1 of ,john ,w4  
,draper1 of ,auguste ,comte1 of         
,descartes1 ,laplace1 ,spinoza1 or any  
man who has taken a step in advance of  
his time8  ,orthodoxy never advances1   
when it does advance1 it ceases to be   
orthodoxy4  ,a reply to certain         
strictures in the ,occident led the     
lecturer up to another ministerial      
critic1 namely1 the ,rev4 ,w4,e4 ,ijams4
  ,i want to say that1 so far as ,i can 
see1 in his argument this gentleman has 
treated me in a kind and considerate    
spirit4  ,he makes two or three         
mistakes1 but ,i suppose they are the   
fault of the report from which he       
quoted4  ,i am made to say in his sermon
 that there is no sacred place in the   
universe4  ,what ,i did say was3  ,there
 is no sacred place in all the universe 

of thought2 there is nothing too holy to
 be investigated1 nothing too sacred to 
be understood1 and ,i said that the     
fields of thought were fenceless1 that  
they should be without a wall4  ,i say  
so tonight4 ,he further said that ,i    
said that a man had not only the right  
to do right1 but to do wrong4  ,what ,i 
did say1 was3  ,liberty is the right to 
do right1 and the right to think right1 
and the right to think wrong1 not the   
right to do wrong4  ,that is all ,i have
 to say in regard to that gentleman1    
except that1 so far as ,i could see1 he 
was perfectly fair1 and treated me as   
though ,i was a human being as well as  
he4  ,the speaker sarcastically referred
 to the slurs thrown upon him by his    
reviewers1 who have claimed that his    
theories have no foundation1 his        
arguments no reason1 and that his       
utterances are vapid1 blasphemous1 and  
unworthy a reply4  ,he said that their  
statements and their actions were sadly 
at variance1 for1 while declaring him a 

senseless idiot1 they spent hours in    
striving to prove themselves not idiots2
 in other words1 in one breath they     
declare that his views were absolutely  
without point1 and needed no explaining 
away2 while in direct rebuttal of this  
declaration1 they devoted time and labor
 in attempts to disprove the very things
 they called self-evident absurdities4  
,turning from this subject1 ,mr4        
,ingersoll read numerous extracts from  
the bible1 with interpolated comments4  
,he claimed that the bible authorized   
slavery1 and that many devoted believers
 in that book had turned the cross of   
,christ into a whipping post4  ,he did  
not wish it understood that he could    
find no good in believers in creeds2 far
 from it1 for some of his dearest       
friends were most orthodox in their     
religious ideas1 and there had been     
hundreds of thousands of good men among 
both clergy and laymen4  ,history has   
shown no people more nobly              
self-sacrificing than the ,jesuit       

,fathers who first visited this country 
to proselyte among the ,indians4  ,but  
these men and their like were better    
than their creeds2 better than the book 
in which their faith was centered4 ,the 
bible tells us distinctly that the world
 was made in six days--not periods1 but 
actual1 bona fide days--a statement     
which it iterates and reiterates4  ,it  
also tells us that ,god lengthened the  
day for the benefit of a gentleman named
 ,joshua1 in other words1 that he       
stopped the rotary motion of the earth4 
,motion is changed into heat by         
stoppage1 and the world turns with such 
velocity that its sudden stoppage would 
create a heat of intensity beyond the   
wildest flight of our imagination1 and  
yet this impossible feat was performed  
that ,joshua might have longer time to  
expend in slaying a handful of          
,amorites4  ,the bible also upholds the 
doctrines of witchcraft and             
spiritualism1 for ,saul visited the     
witch of ,endor1 and she1 after         

preparing the cabinet1 trotted out the  
spirit of ,samuel1 said spirit kindly   
joining in conversation with ,saul1     
without requiring the aid of a trance   
medium4 ,the speaker then quoted at     
length from ,leviticus concerning       
wizards and evil spirits1 described the 
temptation of ,christ by ,satan1 and the
 driving of devils from man into swine4 
,he sneered at the rights of children as
 biblically described1 citing the law   
which sentenced them to be stoned to    
death for disobedience to parents1 the  
almost sacrifice of ,isaac by his       
father1 and the actual murder of        
,jephthah's daughter1 asking if a ,god  
who could demand such worship was worthy
 the love of man4  ,he next referred to 
the conversation between ,god and ,satan
 concerning the man ,job1 and of the    
reward given to the latter for his long 
continued patience4  ,his three         
daughters and his seven sons had been   
taken from him merely to test his       
patience1 and the merciful ,god gave him

 in exchange three other daughters and  
seven sons1 but they were not the       
children whom he had loved and lost4    
,the bible represents woman as vastly   
inferior to man1 while he believed1 with
 ,robbie ,burns1 that ,god made man with
 a prentice-hand1 and woman after ,he   
had learned the trade4  ,polygamy1 also1
 was a doctrine supported by this pure  
and pious work2 a doctrine so foul that 
language is not strong enough to express
 its infamy4 ,the bible taught1 as a    
religious creed1 that if your wife1 your
 sister1 your brother1 your dearest     
friend1 tempted you to change from the  
religion of your fathers1 your duty to  
,god demanded that you should at once   
strike a blow at the life of your       
tempter4 ,let us suppose1 then1 that in 
truth ,god went to ,palestine and       
selected the scanty tribes of ,israel as
 his chosen people1 and supposing that  
he afterward came to ,jerusalem in the  
shape of a man and taught a different   
doctrine from the one prescribed by     

their book and their clergy1 and that   
the chosen people1 in obedience to the  
education he had prepared for them1     
struck at the life of him who tempted   
them4 ,were they to be cursed by ,god   
and man because the former had reaped   
the harvest of his own sowing8          
,ingersoll's ,lecture on ,how the ,gods 
,grow    ,ladies and ,gentlemen3        
,priests have invented a crime called   
blasphemy4 ,that crime is the breastwork
 behind which ignorance1 superstition   
and hypocrisy have crouched for         
thousands of years1 and shot their      
poisoned arrows at the pioneers of human
 thought4  ,priests tell us that there  
is a ,god somewhere in heaven who       
objects to a human being1 thinking and  
expressing his thought4  ,priests tell  
us that there is a ,god somewhere who   
takes care of the people of this world2 
a ,god somewhere who watches over the   
widow and the orphan2 a ,god somewhere  
who releases the slave2 a ,god somewhere
 who visits the innocent man in prison2 

the same ,god that has allowed men for  
thousands of years to burn to ashes     
human beings simply for loving that     
,god4  ,we have been taught that it is  
dangerous to reason upon these          
subjects--extremely dangerous--and that 
of all crimes in the world1 the greatest
 is to deny the existence of that ,god4 
,redden your hands in innocent blood2   
steal the bread of the orphan1 deceive1 
ruin and desert the beautiful girl who  
has loved and trusted you1 and for all  
this you may be forgiven2 for all this  
you can have the clear writ of that     
bankrupt court of the gospel4  ,but deny
 the existence of one of these gods1 and
 the tearful face of mercy becomes lurid
 with eternal hate2 the gates of heaven 
are shut against you1 and you1 with an  
infinite curse ringing in your ears1    
commence your wanderings as an immortal 
vagrant1 as a deathless convict1 as an  
eternal outcast4  ,and we have been     
taught that the infinite has become     
enraged at the finite simply when the   

finite said3  ,i don't know6 ,why1      
imagine it4  ,suppose ,mr4 ,smith should
 hear a couple of small bugs in his     
front yard discussing the question as to
 the existence of ,smith2 and suppose   
one little red bug swore on the honor of
 a bug that1 in his judgment1 no such   
man as ,smith lived4  ,what would you   
think of ,mr4 ,smith if he fell into a  
rage1 and brought his heel down on this 
little atheist bug and said3  ,i will   
teach you that ,smith is a diabolical   
fact6  ,and yet if there is an infinite 
,god1 there is infinitely a greater     
difference between that ,god and a human
 being than between ,shakespeare and the
 smallest bug that ever crawled4  ,it   
cannot be2 there is something wrong in  
this thing somewhere4  ,i am told1 also1
 that this being watches over us1 takes 
care of us4 ,and the other day ,i read a
 sermon 7you will hardly believe it1 but
 ,i did72 ,i had nothing else to4  ,i   
had read everything in that paper1      
including the advertisements2 so ,i read

 the sermon4 ,it was a sermon by ,rev4  
,mr4 ,moody on prayer1 in which he took 
the ground that our prayer should be    
,thy will be  done2  and he seemed to   
believe that if we prayed that prayer   
often enough we could induce ,god to    
have his own way4  ,he gives an instance
 of a woman in ,illinois who had a sick 
child1 and she prayed that ,god would   
not take from her arms that babe4   ,she
 did not pray ,thy will be done1 but she
 prayed1 according to ,mr4 ,moody1      
almost a prayer of rebellion1 and said3 
,i cannot give up my babe4  ,god heard  
her prayer1 and the child got well2 and 
,mr4 ,moody says it was an idiot when it
 got well4  ,for fifteen years that     
woman watched over and took care of that
 idiotic child2 and ,mr4 ,moody says how
 much better would it have been if she  
had allowed ,god to have had his own    
way4  ,think of a ,god who would punish 
a mother for speaking to ,him from an   
agonizing heart and saying1 ,i cannot   
give up my babe1 and making the child an

 idiot4  ,what would the devil have done
 under the same circumstances8  ,that is
 the ,god we are expected to worship4   
,i range myself with the opposition4    
,the next day ,i read another sermon    
preached by the ,rev4 ,de ,witt         
,talmage1 a man of not much fancy1 but  
of great judgment4  ,he preached a      
sermon on dreams1 and went on to say    
that ,god often visited us in dreams1   
and that ,he often convinces men of ,his
 existence in that way4  ,so far as ,i  
am concerned ,i had rather see something
 in the light4  ,and1 according to that 
sermon1 there was a poor woman in       
,england1 a pauper who had the          
rheumatism1 and there was another pauper
 who had not the rheumatism2 and the    
pauper who had not the rheumatism used  
to take food to the pauper that had4    
,after a while the pauper without       
rheumatism died1 and then the pauper    
with the rheumatism began to think in   
her own mind1 who will bring me food8   
,that night ,god appeared to her in a   

dream4  ,he did not cure her rheumatism 
though4  ,he appeared to her in a dream1
 and he took her out of the house and   
pointed on the right hand to an immense 
mountain of bread1 and on the left hand 
to an immense mountain of butter4  ,and 
when ,i read that ,i said to myself1 my 
,lord1 what a place that would be to    
start a political party4  ,and he said  
to her3  ,these belong to your father2  
do you think that he will allow one of  
his children to starve8 ,what a place   
would ,ireland be with that mountain of 
bread and butter6 ,until ,i read these  
two sermons ,i hardly believed that in  
this day and generation anybody believed
 that ,god would make a child an idiot  
simply because the mother had prayed for
 its sweet dear life1 or that ,god's    
visits are only in dreams4  ,but so it  
is4  ,orthodoxy has not advanced upon   
the religion of the ,fiji ,islander4    
,it is the same yesterday1 today and    
forever4  ,now we are told that there is
 a god2 and nearly every nation has had 

a god2 generally a good many of them4   
,you see the raw material was so cheap1 
and ,gods were manufactured so easily1  
that heaven has always been crammed with
 the phantoms of these monsters4  ,but  
they say there is a god1 and every      
savage tribe believes in a ,god4  ,it is
 an argument made to me every day4  ,i  
concede to you that fact2 ,i concede to 
you that all savages agree with you4  ,i
 admit it takes a certain amount of     
civilization1 a certain amount of       
thought1 to rise above the idea that    
some personal being1 for his own ends1  
for his own glory1 made and governs this
 universe4 ,i admit that it takes some  
thought to see the universe is good and 
all that is good1 and every star that   
shines is a part of ,god1 and ,i am     
something1 no matter how little1 and    
that the infinite cannot exist without  
me1 and that therefore ,i am a part of  
the infinite4  ,i admit that it takes a 
little civilization to get to that      
point4  ,now every nation has made a    

god1 and every man that has made a god  
has used himself for a pattern2 and men 
have put into the mouth of their god all
 their mistakes in astronomy1 in        
geography1 in philosophy1 in morality1  
and the god is never wiser or better    
than his creators4  ,if they believe in 
slavery1 so did he2 if they believe in  
eating human flesh1 he wanted his share2
 if they were polygamous1 so was he2 if 
they were cruel1 so was he4  ,and just  
to the extent that man has become       
civilized1 he has civilized his god4    
,you can hardly imagine the progress    
that our ,god has made in four thousand 
years4  ,four thousand years ago ,he was
 a barbarian2 tonight ,he is quite an   
educated gentleman4  ,four thousand     
years ago ,he believed in killing and   
butchering little babes at the breasts  
of their mothers2 ,he has reformed4     
,four thousand years ago ,he did not    
believe in taking prisoners of war4  ,he
 said1 kill the old men2 mingle their   
blood with the white hair4  ,kill the   

women4  ,but what shall we do1 ,o ,god1 
with the maidens8  ,give them to satisfy
 the lust of the soldiers and of the    
priests6  ,if there is anywhere in the  
serene heaven a real ,god4  ,i want him 
to write in the book of ,his eternal    
remembrance1 opposite my name1 that ,i  
deny that lie for ,him4  ,four thousand 
years ago our ,god was in favor of      
slavery2 four thousand years ago our    
,god would have a man beaten to death   
with rugged rocks for expressing his    
honest thought2 four thousand years ago 
our ,god told the husband to kill his   
wife if she disagreed with him upon the 
important subject of religion2 four     
thousand years ago our ,god was a       
monster2 and if ,he is any better now1  
it is simply because we have made ,him  
so4 ,i am talking about the ,god of the 
,christian world4  ,there may be1 for   
aught ,i know1 upon the shore of the    
eternal vast1 some being whose very     
thought is the constellation of those   
numberless stars4  ,i do not know2 but  

if there is he has never written a      
bible2 he has never been in favor of    
slavery2 he has never advocated         
polygamy1 and he never told the murderer
 to sheathe his dagger in the dimpled   
breast of a babe4  ,but they say to me1 
our ,god has written a book4  ,i am glad
 he did1 and it is by that book that ,i 
propose to judge them4  ,i find in that 
book that it was a crime to eat of the  
tree of knowledge4  ,i find that the    
church has always been the enemy of     
education1 and ,i find that the church  
still carries the flaming sword of      
ignorance and bigotry over the tree of  
knowledge4  ,and if that story is true1 
ought we not after all to thank the     
devil8 ,he was the first school master2 
he was the first to whisper liberty in  
our ears2 he was the author of modesty4 
,he was the author of ambition and      
progress4  ,and as for me1 give me the  
storm and tempest of thought and action 
rather than the dead calm of ignorance  
and faith4  ,punish me when and how you 

will1 but first let me eat of the fruit 
of the tree of knowledge4  ,and there is
 one peculiar thing ,i might as well    
speak of here4  ,while the world has    
made gods1 it has also made devils2 and 
as a rule the devils have been better   
friends to man than the gods4  ,it was  
not a devil that drowned the world2 it  
was not a devil that covered with the   
multitudinous waves of an infinite sea  
the corpses of men1 women and children4 
,that was the good god4  ,the devil     
never sent pestilence and famine2 the   
devil never starved women and children2 
that was the good ,god4  ,the meanest   
thing recorded of the devil is what     
happened concerning my servant ,job4    
,according to that book ,god met the    
devil and said3 ,where have you been8   
,oh1 been walking up and down4  ,have   
you noticed my man ,job2 nobody like    
him6  ,well1 who wouldn't be2 you have  
given him everything2 but take away what
 he has1 and he will curse you to your  
face4 ,and so the devil went to work and

 tried it4  ,it was a mean thing4 ,and  
that was all done to decide what you    
might call a wager on a difference of   
opinion between the serene highnesses4  
,he took away his property1 but ,job    
didn't sin2 and when ,god met the devil1
 he said3 ,well1 what did ,i tell you1  
smarty8  ,ah1 he said1 that is all very 
well1 but you touch his flesh and he    
will curse you2 and he did1 but ,job    
didn't curse him4  ,and then what did   
,god do to help him6  ,he gave him some 
other children better looking than the  
first ones4  ,what kind of an idea is   
that for a ,god to kill our children and
 then give us better looking ones6 ,if  
you have loved a child1 ,i don't care if
 it is deformed1 if you have held it in 
your arms and covered its face with     
kisses1 you want that child back and no 
other4  ,i find in this bible that there
 was an old gentleman a little short of 
the article of hair4  ,and as he was    
going through the town a number of      
little children cried out to him ,go up1

 thou bald head6  ,and this man of ,god 
turned and cursed them4  ,a real        
good-humored old fellow6  ,and two bears
 came out of the woods and tore in      
pieces forty-two children6 ,how did the 
bears get there8 ,elisha could not      
control the bears4 ,nobody but ,god     
could control the bears in that way4    
,now just think of an infinite ,god     
making a shining star1 having his       
attention attracted by hearing some     
children saying to an old gentlemen1 ,go
 up1 thou bald head6 and then speaking  
to his secretary or somebody else1      
,bring in a couple of bears now6  ,what 
a magnificent ,god6  ,what would the    
devil have done under the same          
circumstances8  ,and yet that is the    
,god they want to put into the          
constitution in order to make our       
children gentle and kind and loving4    
,you hate a ,god like that4  ,i do2 ,i  
despise him4  ,and yet little children  
in the ,sabbath-school are taught that  
infamous lie4 ,why1 ,i have very little 

respect for an old man that will get mad
 about such a thing1 anyway4  ,what     
would the ,christian world say of me if 
,i should have a few children torn to   
pieces if they should make that remark  
in my face8 ,what would the devil have  
done under the same circumstances8 ,i   
tell you1 ,i cannot worship a ,god who  
is no better than the devil6  ,i cannot 
do it4  ,and if you will just read the  
old testament with the bandage off your 
eyes and the cloud of fear from your    
heart1 you will come to the conclusion  
that it was written not only by men1 but
 by barbarians1 by savages1 and that it 
is totally unworthy of a civilized age4 
,i believe in no ,god who believes in   
slavery4  ,i will worship no ,god who   
ever said that one of ,his children     
should own another of ,his children4    
,but they say to me1 there must be a    
,god somewhere6  ,well1 ,i say ,i don't 
know4 ,there may be4  ,i hope there is  
more than one--one is so lonesome4      
,just think of an old bachelor1 always  

alone6  ,i want more than one4  ,and    
they say1 somebody must have made this6 
,well1 ,i say ,i don't know4  ,but it   
strikes me that the indestructible      
cannot be created4  ,what would you make
 it of8  ,oh1 nothing6  ,well1 it       
strikes me that nothing1 considered in  
the light of a raw material1 is a       
decided failure4  ,for my part1 ,i      
cannot conceive of force apart from     
matter1 and ,i cannot conceive of matter
 apart from force4  ,i cannot conceive  
of force somewhere without acting upon  
something2 because force must be active1
 or it is not force2 and if it has no   
matter to act upon1 it ceases to be     
force4  ,i cannot conceive of the       
smallest atom of matter staying together
 without force4 ,beside1 if some god    
made all this1 there must have been some
 morning when he commenced6  ,and if he 
has existed always1 there is an eternity
 back of that when he never did         
anything2 when he lived in an infinite  
hole1 without side1 top or bottom6  ,he 

did not think1 for there was nothing to 
think about4 ,certainly he did not      
remember1 for nothing had ever happened4
  ,now ,i cannot conceive of this6 ,i do
 not say it is not so4  ,i may be damned
 for my smartness1 yet--,i simply say ,i
 cannot conceive of it1 that is all4    
,but men tell me1 you cannot conceive of
 eternity6  ,that is just what ,i can   
conceive of4  ,i cannot conceive of its 
stopping4  ,they say ,i cannot conceive 
of infinite space6  ,that is just what  
,i can conceive of2 because1 let me     
imagine all ,i can1 my imagination will 
stand upon the verge and see infinite   
space beyond4  ,infinite space is a     
necessity of the mind1 because ,i cannot
 think of enough matter to fill it4     
,eternity is a necessity of the mind1   
because ,i cannot dream of the cessation
 of time4  ,but they say there is a     
design in the world1 consequently there 
must be a designer4 ,well1 ,i don't     
know4  ,paley says that the more        
wonderful a thing is1 the greater the   

necessity for creation2 that a watch is 
a wonderful thing1 and that it must have
 had a creator2 that the watchmaker is  
more wonderful than the watch1 therefore
 he must have had a creator4 ,then we   
come to ,god2 ,he is altogether more    
wonderful than the watchmaker1 therefore
 ,he had no creator4  ,there is a link  
out somewhere2 ,i don't pretend to      
understand it4  ,and so ,i say1 that had
 the world been any other way1 you would
 have seen the same evidence of design1 
precisely4  ,we grow up with our        
conditions1 and you cannot imagine of a 
first cause4  ,why8  ,every cause has an
 effect4  ,strike your hands together2  
they feel warm4  ,the effect becomes a  
cause instantly1 and that cause produces
 another effect1 and the effect another 
cause2 and there could not have been a  
cause until there was an effect4        
,because until there was an effect1     
nothing had been caused2 until something
 had been caused1 ,i am positive there  
was no cause4  ,now you cannot conceive 

of a lost effect1 because the lost      
effect of which you can think1 will in  
turn become a cause and that cause      
produce another effect4  ,and as you    
cannot think of a lost effect1 you      
cannot think of a first cause2 it is not
 thinkable by the human mind4  ,they say
 ,god governs this world4  ,why does ,he
 not govern ,russia as well as ,he does 
,massachusetts8  ,why does ,he allow the
 ,czar to send beautiful girls of       
sixteen1 seventeen1 eighteen1 simply for
 saying a word in favor of human        
liberty1 to mines in ,siberia1 where    
they draw carts with knees bruised and  
bleeding1 with hands scarred and        
swollen8  ,what is that ,god worth that 
allows such things in the world ,he     
governs8  ,did ,he govern this country  
when it had four millions of            
slaves8--when it turned the cross of    
,christ into a whipping-post--when the  
holy bible was an auction-block on which
 the mother stood while her babe was    
sold from her breast8--when bloodhounds 

were considered apostles8  ,was ,god    
governing the world when the prisoners  
were confined in the ,bastille8 ,it     
seems to me1 if there is a ,god1 and    
someone would repeat the word ,bastille4
 it would cover almost his face with the
 blood of shame4 ,but they say heaven   
will balance all the ills of life4  ,let
 us see3  ,a large majority of us are   
sinners--at least a large majority with 
whom ,i am acquainted2 and a majority of
 the ,christians with whom ,i am        
acquainted are worse than sinners4  ,and
 if their doctrine is true1 you will be 
astonished at the gentlemen you will see
 in hell that day4  ,you will know by   
the cast of their countenance that they 
used to preach here4  ,they say that it 
may be that the sinners here have a very
 good time1 and that the ,christians    
don't have a very good time2 that it is 
awful hard work to serve the ,lord1 and 
that you carry a cross when you deny    
yourself the delights of murder and     
forgery1 and all manner of rascality    

that fills life with delight4  ,but they
 say that while the rascals are having a
 good time1 they will catch it in the   
other world4 ,but1 according to their   
account1 ninety-nine out of a hundred   
will be damned1 and ,i think it will be 
a close call for the hundredth4  ,like  
that dear old ,scotch woman1 when she   
was talking about the ,presbyterian     
faith1 some one said to her3  ,my dear  
woman1 if your doctrine is true1 nobody 
but you and your husband will be saved4 
,ah1 said she1  ,i'm na' sae sure about 
,john4  ,about one in a hundred will be 
saved1 and the other ninety-nine will be
 in misery4  ,so that on the average    
there will not be half as much happiness
 in the next world as in this4  ,so1    
instead of ,god's plan getting better1  
it gets worse2 and throughout all the   
ages of eternity there will be less     
happiness than in this world4 ,this     
world is a school2 this world is where  
we develop moral muscle4 ,it may be that
 we are here simply because men cannot  

advance only through agony and pain4 ,if
 it is necessary to have pain and agony 
to advance morally1 then nobody can     
advance in heaven4  ,hell will be the   
only place offering opportunities to any
 gentleman who wishes to increase his   
moral muscle4  ,a gentleman once asked  
me if ,i could suggest any improvement  
on the present order of things1 if ,i   
had the power4  ,well1 said ,i1 in the  
first place1 ,i would make good health  
catching instead of disease4 ,there will
 be no humanity until we get the        
orthodox ,god out of our religion4  ,i  
want to do what little ,i can to put    
another one in ,god's name1 so that we  
will worship a supreme human god1 so    
that we will worship mercy1 justice1    
love and truth1 and not have the idea   
that we must sacrifice our brother upon 
the altar of fear to please some        
imaginary phantom4 ,see what            
,christianity has done for the world6   
,it has reduced ,spain to a guitar1     
,italy to a hand organ and ,ireland to  

exile4  ,that is what religion has done4
  ,take every country in the whole      
world1 and the country that has got the 
least religion is the most prosperous1  
and the country that has got the most   
religion is in the worst condition4  ,in
 the vast cemetery1 called the past1 are
 most of the religions of men and there1
 too1 are nearly all their gods4  ,the  
sacred temples of ,india were ruins long
 ago4  ,over column and cornice2 over   
the painted and pictured walls1 cling   
and creep the trailing vines4  ,brahma1 
the golden1 with four heads and four    
arms2 ,vishnu1 the sombre1 the punisher 
of the wicked1 with his three eyes1 his 
crescent1 and his necklace of skulls2   
,siva1 the destroyer1 red with seas of  
blood2 ,kali1 the goddess2 ,draupadi1   
the white-armed1 and ,chrishna1 the     
,christ1 all passed away and left the   
thrones of heaven desolate4  ,along the 
banks of the sacred ,nile1 ,iris no     
longer wandering weeps1 searching for   
the dead ,osiris4  ,the shadow of       

,typhon's scowl falls no more upon the  
waves4  ,the sun rises as of yore1 and  
his golden beams still smite the lips of
 ,memnon1 but ,memnon is as voiceless as
 the ,sphinx4  ,the sacred fanes are    
lost in desert sands2 the dusty mummies 
are still waiting for the resurrection  
promised by their priests1 and the old  
beliefs wrought in curiously sculptured 
stone1 sleep in the mystery of a        
language lost and dead ,odin1 the author
 of life and soul1 ,vili and ,ve1 and   
the mighty giant ,ymir1 strode long ago 
from the ice halls of the ,north2 and   
,thor1 with iron glove and glittering   
hammer1 dashes mountains to the earth no
 more4  ,broken are the circles and the 
cromlechs of the ancient ,druids2 fallen
 upon the summits of the hills1 and     
covered with the centuries' moss are the
 sacred cairns4  ,the divine fires of   
,persia and of the ,aztecs have died out
 in the ashes of the past1 and there is 
none to rekindle1 and none to feed the  
holy flames4 ,the harp of ,orpheus is   

still2 the drained cup of ,bacchus has  
been thrown aside2 ,venus lies dead in  
stone1 and her white bosom heaves no    
more with love4  ,the streams still     
murmur1 but no naiads bathe2 the trees  
still wave1 but in the forest aisles no 
dryads dance4  ,the gods have flown from
 high ,olympus4  ,not even the beautiful
 women can lure them back1 and ,danae   
lies unnoticed1 naked to the stars4     
,hushed forever are the thunders of     
,sinai2 lost are the voices of the      
prophets1 and the lard once flowing with
 milk and honey is but a desert waste4  
,one by one the myths have faded from   
the clouds2 one by one the phantom host 
has disappeared1 and1 one by one1 facts1
 truths and realities have taken their  
places4  ,the supernatural has almost   
gone1 but man is the natural remains4   
,the gods have fled1 but man is here4   
,nations1 like individuals1 have their  
periods of youth1 of manhood and decay4 
,religions are the same4  ,the same     
inexorable destiny awaits them all4     

,the gods created with the nations must 
perish with their creators4 ,they were  
created by men1 and1 like men1 they must
 pass away4 ,the deities of one age are 
the by-words of the next4  ,the religion
 of our day1 and country1 is no more    
exempt from the sneer of the future than
 others have been4 ,when ,india was     
supreme1 ,brahma sat upon the world's   
throne4  ,when the sceptre passed to    
,egypt1 ,isis and ,osiris received the  
homage of mankind4  ,greece1 with her   
fierce valor1 swept to empire1 and ,zeus
 put on the purple of authority4  ,the  
earth trembled with the tread of ,rome's
 intrepid sons1 and ,jove grasped with  
mailed hand the thunderbolts of heaven4 
,rome fell1 and ,christians from her    
territory1 with the red sword of war1   
carved out the ruling nations of the    
world1 and now ,jehovah sits upon the   
old throne4 ,who will be ,his successor8
       ,ingersoll's lecture on ,the     
,religion of ,our ,day   ,ladies and    
,gentlemen3--,i am glad that ,i have    

lived long enough to see one gentleman  
in the pulpit brave enough to say that  
,god would not be offended at one who   
speaks according to the dictates of his 
conscience2 who does not believe that   
,god will give wings to a bird1 and then
 damn the bird for flying4  ,i thank the
 pastor and ,i thank the church for     
allowing its pastor to be so brave4  ,i 
admit that thousands and thousands of   
church people1 with their pastors and   
the deacons1 are today advocating       
religious principles that they deem     
right and good4  ,i honor these men1 but
 ,i do not believe that their method is 
a good one4  ,i do not want these people
 to forgive me for the views ,i         
entertain1 but ,i want them so to act   
that ,i will not have to forgive them4  
,i am the friend of every one who       
preaches the gospel of absolute         
intellectual liberty1 and that man is my
 friend4  ,is there a ,god who says that
 if man does so and so ,he will damn    
him8 ,can there be such a fiend8  ,i am 

not responsible to man unless ,i injure 
him2 nor to ,god unless ,i injure ,him1 
but one cannot injure ,god1 for ,he is  
infinite4  ,when ,i was young ,i was    
told that the bible was inspired1       
written by ,god1 that even the lids of  
the book were inspired4  ,they say ,he  
is a personal ,god2 if so1 ,he has not  
revealed ,himself to me4 ,there may be  
many gods4 ,as ,i look around ,i see    
that justice does not prevail1 that     
innocence is not always effectual and a 
perfect shield4  ,if there be a ,god    
these things could not be4  ,if ,god    
made us all1 why did ,he not make us all
 equally well4  ,he had the power of an 
infinite god4  ,why did ,god people the 
earth with so many idiots8  ,i admit    
that orthodoxy could not exist without  
them1 but why did ,god make them8  ,if  
we believe the bible then ,he should    
have made us all idiots1 for the        
orthodox ,christian says the idiots will
 not be damned1 simply transplanted1    
while the sensible man1 who believeth   

not1 will be sent to eternal damnation8 
,if there is any ,god that made us1 what
 right had ,he to make idiots8  ,is a   
man with a head like a pin under any    
obligation to thank ,god8  ,is the black
 man1 born in slavery1 under any        
obligation to thank ,god for his badge  
of servitude8  ,what kind of a ,god is  
it that will allow men and women to be  
put in dungeons and chains simply       
because they loved ,him and prayed to   
,him8 ,and what kind of a ,god is it    
that will allow such men and women to be
 burned at the stake8  ,if ,god won't   
love such men and women1 then under what
 circumstances will he love8  ,famine   
stalks over the land and millions die1  
not only the bad but the good1 and there
 in the heavens above sits an infinite  
,god who can do anything1 can change the
 rocks and the stones1 and yet these    
millions die4  ,i do not say there is no
 ,god1 but ,i do ask1 what is ,god      
doing8 ,look at the agony1 and          
wretchedness and woe all over the land4 

,is there goodness1 is there mercy in   
this8  ,i do not say there is not1 but  
,i want to know1 and ,i want to know if 
a man is to be damned for asking the    
question8  7,he eloquently recited the  
agonies that clustered around the       
,french ,bastille1 where great men and  
heroic women suffered and died for      
loving liberty1 and said3  ,if there is 
a ,god1 ,i think that one word1         
,bastille1 would bring the blush of     
shame to ,his face47  ,i find that the  
men who have received revelation are the
 worst2 and that where the bible goes   
there go the sword and the fagot4 ,if an
 infinite ,god makes a revelation to me 
,he knows how ,i will understand it4    
,if ,god wrote the bible he knew that no
 two people would understand it alike4  
,when ,i read the bible ,i found that   
,god in ,his infinite wisdom couldn't   
control the people ,he had created and  
that ,he had to drown them4  ,if ,i had 
infinite power and couldn't make a      
people that ,i could control and had to 

drown them1 why ,i'd resign4  ,then ,i  
read in the bible such cruel things1 and
 ,i do not believe that ,god can be     
cruel4  ,such cruelty may make one      
afraid1 but cannot inspire love4  ,i    
can't love a god that will inflict pain 
and sorrow1 and ,i won't4  ,the         
preachers say all unbelievers will go to
 hell--tidings of great joy4 ,when ,i   
confront them they--say ,i'm taking away
 their consolation4 ,the old bible does 
not mention hell or heaven4  ,now ,god  
should have notified ,adam and ,cain of 
hell1 but ,he didn't4 ,when ,he came to 
drown all those people ,he didn't tell a
 single one that ,he would drown him4   
,he talked all about water--nothing     
about fire4  ,when ,he came down on     
,mount ,sinai1 and told ,moses how to   
cut out clothes for a priest1 ,he never 
said one word on the subject4  ,when    
,god gave ,moses the ten commandments1  
engraved on stone1 there ,he said not   
one word about hell4 ,there was plenty  
of room on the stone2 why did ,he not   

add3  ,if you don't keep these          
commandments you will be damned4        
,through all these ages1 when ,god was  
talking all the time1 and when every    
howling prophet had ,his ear1 not one   
word did ,he utter of hell or heaven4   
,for #d1jjj years ,god got along without
 mentioning those places or even hinting
 of them4  ,it seems to me that we ought
 to have been notified by ,him4  7,here 
the orator recalled many stories from   
the old bible and subjected them to keen
 irony and ridicule4  ,reciting the     
story wherein the she bears came out of 
the woods and tore to pieces the forty  
children who mocked the prophet1 he     
asked3  ,if ,god did that1 what would   
the devil have done under the same      
circumstances8  ,why2 he said1 did not  
,god give a sure cure for leprosy1      
unless ,he wanted to have ,his chosen   
people to have that frightful disease87 
,do you believe that ,god ever told a   
widow if her brother-in-law refused to  
marry her to spit in his face8  ,do you 

believe any such nonsense from a god8   
,i call that courting under             
difficulties4  7,then ,colonel          
,ingersoll dwelt pathetically on the    
sweet1 innocent babes eaten up by the   
lions in the den1 after ,daniel was     
rescued from their jaws1 and asked the  
question1 what kind of a god was it that
 allowed such horrible deeds87  ,they   
say that ,i pick out all the bad things 
in the bible4  ,well1 ,god ought not to 
have put bad things in the book4  ,if   
you only read the bible you will not    
believe it4  ,why1 it is such a bad book
 that it has to be supported by         
legislation4  ,in ,maine and elsewhere  
they will send you to jail for two years
 if you deny the bible or the judgment  
day4  ,no1 we are told we must not only 
believe in the ,god we have been talking
 about1 but must also believe in another
 one4  ,let us look at the church today4
  ,the orthodox church--that is1 all but
 the ,universalist4  ,he is trying to be
 orthodox1 but he can't get in4 ,the    

,god of the ,universalists1 to say the  
least1 is a gentleman4  ,now1 what is   
this religion8  ,to believe certain     
things that we may be saved1 that we    
won't be damned4  ,what are they8       
,first1 that the old and new testament  
are inspired4  ,no matter how kind1 how 
just a man may be1 unless he believes in
 the inspiration1 he will be damned4    
,second1 he must believe in the trinity4
  ,that there are three in one4 ,that   
father and son are precisely of the same
 age1 the son1 possibly1 a little mite  
older2 that three times one is one1 and 
that once one is three4  ,it is a mercy 
you don't know how to understand it1 but
 you must believe it or be damned4      
,therein you see the mercy of the ,lord4
  ,this trinity doctrine was announced  
several hundred years after ,christ was 
born3  ,do you believe such a doctrine  
will make a man good or honest8 ,will it
 make him more just8  ,is the man that  
believes any better than the man who    
does not believe8  ,how is it with      

nations8  ,look at ,spain1 the last     
slave-holder in the civilized world2    
she's christian1 she believes in the    
trinity6  ,and ,italy1 the beggar of the
 world4 ,under the rule of priestcraft  
money streamed in from every land and   
yet she did not advance4  ,today she is 
reduced to a hand-organ4  ,take poor    
,ireland1 groaning under the heel of    
,british oppression2 could she cast off 
her priests she would soon be one with  
,america in freedom4  ,protestantism is 
better than ,catholicism1 because there 
is less of it4 ,both dread education4   
,they say they brought the arts and     
sciences out of the dark ages2 why1 they
 made the dark ages and what did they   
preserve8  ,nothing of value1 only an   
account of events that never happened4  
,what did they teach the world6         
,slavery6  ,the best country the sun    
ever shown upon is the northern part of 
the ,united ,states1 and there you will 
find less religion than anywhere else on
 the face of the earth4  ,you will find 

here more people that don't believe the 
bible1 and you will find better         
husbands1 better wives1 happier homes1  
where the women are most respected and  
where the children get less blows and   
more huggings and kissings4  ,we have   
improved just as we lost this religion  
and this superstition4  ,great ,britain 
is the religious nation par excellence1 
and there you will find the most cant   
and most hypocrisy4  ,they are always   
thanking ,god that they have killed     
somebody4  ,look at the opium war with  
,china4 ,they forced the ,chinese to    
open their ports and receive the deadly 
drug1 and then had the impudence to send
 a lot of driveling idiots of           
missionaries into ,china4  ,go around   
the world1 and where you find the least 
superstition1 there you will find the   
best men1 the best women1 the best      
children4  ,two powerful levers are at  
work2 love and intelligence4  ,the true 
test of a man is generosity1 that covers
 a multitude of sins4  ,they have got so

 now they damn a man on a technicality4 
,you must be baptized by immersion1     
sprinkling or pouring4  ,if you come to 
the day of judgment and can't show the  
watermark1 you're damned6  ,what more3  
,that a fellow named ,adam1 whom you    
don't know and never voted for1 is your 
representative4  ,you are charged with  
his sins4 ,equally abused is the        
doctrine of atonement1 that you are     
created with the sacrifice of another4  
,if ,christ had more virtue than ,adam  
had meanness1 then you are ahead4       
,atonement is the corner-stone of the   
,christian religion4  ,but there is one 
great objection4  ,it saves the wrong   
man1 and it is not honest4 7,in holding 
up the atonement to ridicule the orator 
said3  ,if ,judas had failed to betray  
,christ1 the mother of ,christ would be 
in hell today4 ,then he ridiculed the   
miracles recorded in the new testament1 
pronounced them absurdities4  ,he said  
that the four apostolic writers were    
very contradictory in their statements1 

and did not even agree as to the last   
word of this great man47  ,the ascension
 was the most striking1 the grandest of 
the miracles1 if true1 yet the ascension
 is only recorded by two of these       
writers4  ,if ,he was ,god1 ,i know he  
will forgive somebody for not believing 
the miracles1 unless convinced4         
,another contradiction in the book3  in 
one gospel the condition of salvation is
 whosoever believeth shall not be       
damned1 and in another we are promised  
that if we forgive our enemies ,god will
 forgive us--and there's sense in this  
last promise4  ,the first ,i believe a  
lie--it was never spoken by ,god4       
,christ said3  ,love your enemies4      
,nobody can do that4  ,the doctrine of  
,confucius is sound--to love one's      
friends and to do justice to one's      
enemies without any mixture of revenge4 
,if ,christ was ,god1 did ,he not know  
on ,his cross what crimes would be done 
in ,his name8  ,why didn't ,he settle   
all disputes about the trinity and about

 baptism8  ,why didn't ,he post ,his    
disciples8 ,because ,he could no more   
see into the future than ,i can4  ,only 
in this way can you acquit him of the   
crimes committed in ,his name4 ,the way 
to save our own souls is to save another
 soul4  ,god can't turn into hell a man 
who makes on this earth a little heaven 
for himself1 wife and babes4  ,any      
minister who preaches the doctrine of   
hell ought to be ashamed4  ,i want1 if  
,i can while ,i live1 to put an end to  
all belief in this infamous doctrine4   
,that doctrine has done incalculable    
harm1 wrought incalculable injury4  ,i  
despise it1 and ,i defy it4  ,the       
orthodox church says that religion does 
good2 that it restrains crime4  ,it     
restrains a man from artificial1 not    
from natural crimes4  ,a man can be made
 so religious that he will not eat meat 
on ,friday1 yet he will steal4  ,did you
 ever hear of a tramp coming to town and
 inquiring where the deacon of the      
,presbyterian church lived4  ,the bible 

says consider the lilies4  ,what good   
would it do a naked man standing out in 
the bitter blasts of this night to      
consider the lilies4  ,what is the      
social position of a man in heaven who  
through all eternity remembers that if  
he had had a grain of courage he would  
never have been there4  ,the realization
 of our day does not satisfy the        
intelligence of the people--the people  
have outgrown it4  ,it shocks us and we 
have got to have another religion4 ,we  
must have a religion of charity2 one    
that will do away with poverty1 close   
the prisons and cover this world with   
homes4       ,ingersoll's ,lecture on   
,heretics and ,heresies  ,liberty1 a    
word without which--,all other words are
 vain4   ,whoever has an opinion of his 
own1 and honestly expresses it1 will be 
guilty of heresy4  ,heresy is what the  
minority believe2 it is a name given by 
the powerful to the doctrine of the     
weak4 ,this word was born of the hatred1
 arrogance1 and cruelty of those who    

love their enemies1 and who1 when       
smitten on one cheek1 turn the other4   
,this word was born of intellectual     
slavery in the feudal ages of thought4  
,it was an epithet used in the place of 
argument4  ,from the commencement of the
 ,christian era1 every art has been     
exhausted1 and every conceivable        
punishment inflicted to force all people
 to hold the same religious opinions4   
,this effort was born of the idea that a
 certain belief was necessary to the    
salvation of the soul4  ,christ taught1 
and the church still teaches1 that      
unbelief is the blackest of crimes4     
,god is supposed to hate with an        
infinite and implacable hatred1 every   
heretic upon the earth1 and the heretics
 who have died are supposed1 at this    
moment1 to be suffering the agonies of  
the damned4  ,the church persecutes the 
living1 and her ,god burns the dead4    
,it is claimed that ,god wrote a book   
called the bible1 and it is generally   
admitted that this book is somewhat     

difficult to understand4 ,as long as the
 church had all the copies of this book1
 and the people were not allowed to read
 it1 there was comparatively little     
heresy in the world2 but when it was    
printed and read1 people began honestly 
to differ as to its meaning4  ,a few    
were independent and brave enough to    
give the world their real thoughts1 and 
for the extermination of these men the  
church used all her power4  ,protestants
 and ,catholics vied with each other in 
the work of enslaving the human mind4   
,for ages they were rivals in the       
infamous effort to rid the earth of     
honest people4  ,they infested every    
country1 every city1 town1 hamlet1 and  
family4  ,they appealed to the worst    
passions of the human heart4  ,they     
sowed the seeds of discord and hatred in
 every land4  ,brother denounced        
brother1 wives informed against their   
husbands1 mothers accused their         
children1 dungeons were crowded with the
 innocent2 the flesh of the good and    

true rotted in the clasp of chains1 the 
flames devoured the heroic1 and in the  
name of the most merciful ,god1 his     
children were exterminated with famine1 
sword and fire4  ,over the wild waves of
 battle rose and fell the banner of     
,jesus ,christ4  ,for sixteen hundred   
years the robes of the church were red  
with innocent blood4  ,the ingenuity of 
,christians was exhausted in devising   
punishment severe enough to be inflicted
 upon other ,christians who honestly and
 sincerely differed with them upon any  
point whatever4  ,give any orthodox     
church the power1 and today they would  
punish heresy with whip1 and chain1 and 
fire4  ,as long as a church deemed a    
certain belief essential to salvation1  
just so long it will kill and burn if it
 has the power4  ,why should the church 
pity a man whom her ,god hates8 ,why    
should she show mercy to a kind and     
noble heretic whom her ,god will burn in
 eternal fire8 ,why should a ,christian 
be better than his ,god8 ,it is         

impossible for the imagination to       
conceive of a greater atrocity than has 
been perpetrated by the church4  ,let it
 be remembered that all churches have   
persecuted heretics to the extent of    
their power4 ,every nerve in the human  
body capable of pain has been sought out
 and touched by the church4  ,toleration
 has increased only when and where the  
power of the church has diminished4     
,from ,augustine until now the spirit of
 the ,christian has remained the same4  
,there has been the same intolerance1   
the same undying hatred of all who think
 for themselves1 the same determination 
to crush out of the human brain all     
knowledge inconsistent with the ignorant
 creed4  ,every church pretends that it 
has a revelation from ,god1 and that    
this revelation must be given to the    
people through the church2 that the     
church acts through its priests1 and    
that ordinary mortals must be content   
with a revelation--not from ,god--but   
from the church4  ,had the people       

submitted to this preposterous claim1 of
 course there could have been but one   
church1 and that church never could have
 advanced4  ,it might have retrograded1 
because it is not necessary to think1 or
 investigate1 in order to forget4       
,without heresy there could have been no
 progress4  ,the highest type of the    
orthodox christian does not forget4     
,neither does he learn4  ,he neither    
advances nor recedes4  ,he is a living  
fossil1 imbedded in that rock called    
faith4  ,he makes no effort to better   
his condition1 because all his strength 
is exhausted in keeping other people    
from improving theirs4  ,the supreme    
desire of his heart is to force all     
others to adopt his creed1 and in order 
to accomplish this object1 he denounces 
all kinds of free thinking as a crime1  
and this crime he calls heresy4  ,when  
he had the power1 heresy was the most   
terrible and formidable of words4  ,it  
meant confiscation1 exile1 imprisonment1
 torture1 and death4  ,in those days the

 cross and rack were inseparable        
companions4 ,across the open bible lay  
the sword and fagot4  ,not content with 
burning such heretics as were alive1    
they even tried the dead1 in order that 
the church might rob their wives and    
children4  ,the property of all heretics
 was confiscated1 and on this account   
they charged the dead with being        
heretical--indicted1 as it were1 their  
dust--to the end that the church might  
clutch the bread of orphans4  ,learned  
divines discussed propriety of tearing  
out the tongues of heretics before they 
were burned1 and the general opinion was
 that this ought to be done1 so that the
 heretics should not be able1 by        
uttering blasphemies1 to shock the      
christians who were burning them4  ,with
 a mixture of ferocity and christianity1
 the priests insisted that heretics     
ought to be burned at a slow fire1      
giving as a reason1 that more time was  
given them for repentance4  ,no wonder  
that ,jesus ,christ said1 ,i came not to

 bring peace but a sword6  ,every priest
 regarded himself as the agent of ,god4 
,he answered all questions by authority1
 and to treat him with disrespect was an
 insult offered to ,god4  ,no one was   
asked to think1 but all were commanded  
to obey4  ,in #abjh the inquisition was 
established4  ,seven years afterward2   
the fourth council of the ,lateran      
enjoined all kings and rulers to swear  
an oath that they would exterminate     
heretics from their dominions4  ,the    
sword of the church was unsheathed1 and 
the world was at the mercy of ignorant  
and infuriated priests1 whose eyes      
feasted upon the agonies they inflicted4
  ,acting as they believed1 or pretended
 to believe under the command of ,god1  
stimulated by the hope of infinite      
reward in another world--hating heretics
 with every drop of their bastille      
blood--savage beyond                    
description--merciless beyond           
conception--these infamous priests in a 
kind of frenzied joy1 leaped upon the   

helpless victims of their rage4  ,they  
crushed their bones in iron boots1 tore 
their quivering flesh with iron hooks   
and pinchers1 cut off their lips and    
eyelids1 pulled out their nails1 and    
into the bleeding quick thrust needles1 
tore out their tongues1 extinguished    
their eyes1 stretched them upon racks1  
flayed them alive1 crucified them with  
their head downward1 exposed them to    
wild beasts1 burned them at the stake1  
mocked their cries and groans1 ravished 
their wives1 robbed their children1 and 
then prayed ,god to finish the holy work
 in hell4  ,millions upon millions were 
sacrificed upon the altars of bigotry4  
,the ,catholic burned the ,lutheran1 the
 ,lutheran burned the ,catholic2 the    
,episcopalian tortured the              
,presbyterian1 the ,presbyterian        
tortured the ,episcopalian4   ,every    
denomination killed all it could of     
every other2 and each ,christian felt it
 duty bound to exterminate every other  
,christian who denied the smallest      

fraction of his creed4  ,in the reign of
 ,henry the ,,viii41 that pious and     
moral founder of the ,apostolic         
,episcopal church1 there was passed by  
the ,parliament of ,england an act      
entitled1 ,an act for abolishing of     
diversity of opinion4  ,and in this act 
was set forth what a good ,christian was
 obliged to believe4  ,first1 that in   
the sacrament was the real body and     
blood of ,jesus ,christ4  ,second1 that 
the body and blood of ,jesus ,christ was
 in the bread1 and the blood and body of
 ,jesus ,christ was in the wine4        
,third1 that priests should not marry4  
,fourth1 that vows of chastity were of  
perpetual obligation4  ,fifth1 that     
private masses ought to be continued4   
,and sixth1 that auricular confession to
 a priest must be maintained4  ,this    
creed was made by law1 in order that all
 men might know just what to believe by 
simply reading the statute4  ,the church
 hated to see the people wearing out    
their brains in thinking upon these     

subjects4  ,it was thought far better   
that a creed should be made by          
,parliament1 so that whatever might be  
lacking in evidence might be made up in 
force4 ,the punishment for denying the  
first article was death by fire4  ,for  
the denial of any other article1        
imprisonment1 and for the second        
offense--death4  ,your attention is     
called to these six articles1           
established during the reign of ,henry  
,,viii1 and by the ,church of ,england1 
simply because not one of these articles
 is believed by that church today4  ,if 
the law then made by the church could be
 enforced now1 every ,episcopalian would
 be burned at the stake4  ,similar laws 
were passed in most ,christian          
countries1 as all orthodox churches     
firmly believed that mankind could be   
legislated into heaven4 ,according to   
the creed of every church1 slavery leads
 to heaven1 liberty leads to hell4  ,it 
was claimed that ,god had founded the   
church1 and that to deny the authority  

of the church was to be a traitor to    
,god1 and consequently an ally of the   
devil4  ,to torture and destroy one of  
the soldiers of ,satan was a duty no    
good ,christian cared to neglect4       
,nothing can be sweeter than to earn the
 gratitude of ,god by killing your own  
enemies4  ,such a mingling of profit and
 revenge1 of heaven for yourself and    
damnation for those you dislike1 is a   
temptation that your ordinary ,christian
 never resists4  ,according to the      
theologians1 ,god1 the father of us all 
wrote a letter to ,his children4  ,the  
children have always differed somewhat  
as to the meaning of this letter4  ,in  
consequence of these honest differences1
 these brothers began to cut out each   
other's hearts4  ,in every land1 where  
this letter from ,god has been read1 the
 children to whom and for whom it was   
written have been filled with hatred and
 malice4  ,they have imprisoned and     
murdered each other1 and the wives and  
children of each other4 ,in the name of 

,god every possible crime has been      
committed1 every conceivable outrage has
 been perpetrated4  ,brave men1 tender  
and loving women1 beautiful girls1      
prattling babes have been exterminated  
in the name of ,jesus ,christ4  ,for    
more than fifty generations the church  
has carried the black flag4  ,her       
vengeance has been measured only by her 
power4  ,during all these years of      
infamy no heretic has ever been         
forgiven4  ,with the heart of a fiend   
she has hated2 with the clutch of       
avarice she has grasped2 with the jaws  
of a dragon she has devoured1 pitiless  
as famine1 merciless as fire1 with the  
conscience of a serpent4 ,such is the   
history of the church of ,god4  ,i do   
not say1 and ,i do not believe1 that    
,christians are as bad as their creeds4 
,in spite of church and dogma1 there    
have been millions and millions of men  
and women true to the loftiest and most 
generous promptings of the human heart4 
,they have been true to their           

convictions1 and with a self-denial and 
fortitude excelled by none1 have labored
 and suffered for the salvation of men4 
,imbued with the spirit of              
self-sacrifice1 believing that by       
personal effort they could rescue at    
least a few souls from the infinite     
shadow of hell1 they have cheerfully    
endured every hardship and scorned      
danger and death4  ,and yet1            
notwithstanding all this1 they believed 
that honest error was a crime4  ,they   
knew that the bible so declared1 and    
they believed that all unbelievers would
 be eternally lost4  ,they believed that
 religion was of ,god1 and all heresy of
 the devil4  ,they killed heretics in   
defense of their own souls and the souls
 of their children4  ,they killed them1 
because1 according to their idea1 they  
were the enemies of ,god1 and because   
the bible teaches that the blood of the 
unbeliever is a most acceptable         
sacrifice to heaven4  ,nature never     
prompted a loving mother to throw her   

child into the ,ganges4  ,nature never  
prompted men to exterminate each other  
for a difference of opinion concerning  
the baptism of infants4  ,these crimes  
have been produced by religions filled  
with all that is illogical1 cruel and   
hideous4  ,these religions were produced
 for the most part by ignorance1        
tyranny1 and hypocrisy4  ,under the     
impression that the infinite ruler and  
creator of the universe had commanded   
the destruction of heretics and         
infidels1 the church perpetrated all    
these crimes4  ,men and women have been 
burned for thinking that there was but  
one ,god2 that there was none2 that the 
,holy ,ghost is younger than ,god2 that 
,god was somewhat older than his ,son2  
for insisting that good works will save 
a man1 without faith2 that faith will do
 without good works2 for declaring that 
a sweet babe will not be barred         
eternally1 because its parents failed to
 have its head wet by a priest2 for     
speaking of ,god as though ,he had a    

nose2 for denying that ,christ was ,his 
own father2 for contending that three   
persons1 rightly added together1 make   
more than one2 for believing in         
purgatory2 for denying the reality of   
hell2 for pretending that priests can   
forgive sins2 for preaching that ,god is
 an essence2 for denying that witches   
rode through the air on sticks2 for     
doubting the total depravity of the     
human heart2 for laughing at            
irresistible grace1 predestination1 and 
particular redemption2 for denying that 
good bread could be made of the body of 
a dead man2 for pretending that the     
,pope was not managing this world for   
,god1 and in place of ,god1 for         
disputing the efficacy of a vicarious   
atonement2 for thinking that the ,virgin
 ,mary was born like other people2 for  
thinking that a man's rib was hardly    
sufficient to make a good sized woman2  
for denying that ,god used ,his finger  
for a pen2 for asserting that prayers   
are not answered1 that diseases are not 

set to punish unbelief2 for denying the 
authority of the bible2 for having a    
bible in their possession2 for attending
 mass1 and for refusing to attend1 for  
wearing a surplice2 for carrying a      
cross1 and for refusing2 for being a    
,catholic1 and for being a ,protestant1 
for being an ,episcopalian1 a           
,presbyterian1 a ,baptist1 and for being
 a ,quaker4  ,in short1 every virtue has
 been a crime1 and every crime a virtue4
  ,the church has burned honesty and    
rewarded hypocrisy1 and all this she did
 because it was commanded by a book--a  
book that men had been taught implicitly
 to believe1 long before they knew one  
word that was in it4  ,they had been    
taught that to doubt the truth of this  
book1 to examine it1 even1 was a crime  
of such enormity that it could not be   
forgiven1 either in this world or in the
 next4  ,the bible was the real         
persecutor4  ,the bible burned heretics1
 built dungeons1 founded the            
,inquisition1 and trampled upon all the 

liberties of men4  ,how long1 ,o how    
long will mankind worship a book8  ,how 
long will they grovel in the dust before
 the ignorant legends of the barbaric   
past8 ,how long1 ,o how long will they  
pursue phantoms in a darkness deeper    
than death8  ,unfortunately for the     
world1 about the beginning of the       
sixteenth century a man by the name of  
,gerard ,chauvin was married to ,jeanne 
,lefranc1 and still more unfortunately  
for the world1 the fruit of this        
marriage was a son1 called ,john        
,chauvin1 who afterward became famous as
 ,john ,calvin1 the founder of the      
,presbyterian church4  ,this man forged 
five fetters for the brain4  ,these     
fetters he called points4  ,that is to  
say1 predestination1 particular         
redemption1 total depravity1            
irresistible grace1 and the perseverance
 of the saints4 ,about the neck of each 
follower he put a collar1 bristling with
 these five iron points4  ,the presence 
of all these points on the collar is    

still the test of orthodoxy in the      
church he founded4  ,this man1 when in  
the flush of youth1 was elected to the  
office of preacher in ,geneva4 ,he at   
once1 in union with ,farel1 drew up a   
condensed statement of the ,presbyterian
 doctrine1 and all the citizens of      
,geneva1 on pain of banishment1 were    
compelled to take an oath that they1    
believed this statement4  ,of this      
proceeding ,calvin very innocently      
remarked1 that it produced great        
satisfaction4  ,a man by the name of    
,caroli had the audacity to dispute with
 ,calvin4  ,for this outrage he was     
banished4  ,to show you what great      
subjects occupied the attention of      
,calvin1 it is only necessary to state1 
that he furiously discussed the         
question1 as to whether the sacramental 
bread should be leavened or unleavened4 
,he drew up laws regulating the cut of  
the citizens' clothes1 and prescribed   
their diet1 and all whose garments were 
not in the ,calvin fashion were refused 

the sacrament4  ,at last1 the people    
becoming tired of this petty1           
theological tyranny1 banished ,calvin4  
,in a few years1 however1 he was        
recalled and received with great        
enthusiasm4  ,after this1 he was        
supreme1 and the will of ,calvin became 
the law of ,geneva4 ,under the benign   
administration of ,calvin1 ,james ,gruet
 was beheaded because he had written    
some profane verses4  ,the slightest    
word against ,calvin or his absurd      
doctrine was punished as a crime4  ,in  
#aeec1 a man was tried at ,vienne by the
 ,catholic church for heresy4 ,he was   
convicted and sentenced to death by     
burning4  ,it was his good fortune to   
escape4  ,pursued by the sleuth hounds  
of intolerance he fled to ,geneva for   
protection4  ,a dove flying from hawks1 
sought safety in the nest of a vulture4 
,this fugitive from the cruelty of ,rome
 asked shelter from ,john ,calvin1 who  
had written a book in favor of religious
 toleration4   ,servetus had forgotten  

that this book was written by ,calvin   
when in the minority2 that it was       
written in weakness to be forgotten in  
power2 that it was produced by fear     
instead of principle4 ,he did not know  
that ,calvin had caused his arrest at   
,vienne1 in ,france1 and had sent a copy
 of his work1 which was claimed to be   
blasphemous to the archbishop4  ,he did 
not then know that the ,protestant1     
,calvin1 was acting as one of the       
detectives of the ,catholic church1 and 
had been instrumental in procuring his  
conviction for heresy4  ,ignorant of all
 this unspeakable infamy1 he put himself
 in the power of this very ,calvin4     
,the maker of the ,presbyterian creed   
caused the fugitive ,servetus to be     
arrested for blasphemy4  ,he was tried2 
,calvin was his accuser4 ,he was        
convicted and condemned to death by     
fire4  ,on the morning of the fatal day1
 ,calvin saw him2 and ,servetus1 the    
victim1 asked forgiveness of ,calvin1   
the murderer1 for anything he might have

 said that had wounded his feelings4    
,servetus was bound to the stake1 the   
fagots were lighted4  ,the wind carried 
the flames somewhat away from his body1 
so that he slowly roasted for hours4    
,vainly he implored a speedy death4  ,at
 last the flame climbed around his form2
 through smoke and fire his murderers   
saw a white1 heroic face4  ,and there   
they watched until a man became a       
charred and shriveled mass4  ,liberty   
was banished from ,geneva1 and nothing  
but ,presbyterianism was left2 honor1   
justice1 mercy1 reason and charity were 
all exiled2 but the five points of      
predestination1 particular redemption1  
irresistible grace1 total depravity1 and
 the certain perseverance of the saints 
remained instead4  ,calvin founded a    
little theocracy in ,geneva1 modeled    
after the old testament1 and succeeded  
in erecting the most detestable         
government that ever existed1 except the
 one from which it was copied4  ,against
 all this intolerance1 one man1 a       

minister1 raised his voice4 ,the name of
 this man should never be forgotten4    
,it was ,castellio4 ,this brave man had 
the goodness and the courage to declare 
the innocence of honest error4  ,he was 
the first of the so-called reformers to 
take this noble ground4  ,i wish ,i had 
the genius to pay a fitting tribute to  
his memory4  ,perhaps it would be       
impossible to pay him a grander         
compliment than to say1 ,castellio was  
in all things the opposite of ,calvin4  
,to plead for the right of individual   
judgment was considered as a crime1 and 
,castellio was driven from ,geneva by   
,john ,calvin4  ,by him he was denounced
 as a child of the devil1 as a dog of   
,satan1 as a beast from hell1 and as one
 who1 by this horrid blasphemy of the   
innocence of honest error1 crucified    
,christ afresh1 and by him he was       
pursued until rescued by the hand of    
death4  ,upon the name of ,castellio1   
,calvin heaved every epithet1 until his 
malice was satisfied and his imagination

 exhausted4  ,it is impossible to       
conceive how human nature can become so 
frightfully perverted as to pursue a    
fellow-man with the malignity of a      
fiend1 simply because he is good1 just  
and generous4  ,calvin was of a pallid1 
bloodless complexion1 thin1 sickly1     
irritable1 gloomy1 impatient1 egotistic1
 tyrannical1 heartless and infamous4    
,he was a strange compound of revengeful
 morality1 malicious forgiveness1       
ferocious charity1 egotistic humility1  
and a kind of hellish justice4 ,in other
 words1 he was as near like the ,god of 
the old testament as his ,health        
permitted4  ,the best thing1 however1   
about the ,presbyterians of ,geneva was1
 that they denied the power of the      
,pope1 and the best thing about the     
,pope was1 that he was not a            
,presbyterian4  ,the doctrines of       
,calvin spread rapidly1 and were eagerly
 accepted by multitudes on the          
continent4  ,but ,scotland1 in a few    
years1 became the real fortress of      

,presbyterianism4  ,the ,scotch rivaled 
the adherents of ,calvin1 and succeeded 
in establishing the same kind of        
theocracy that flourished in ,geneva4   
,the clergy took possession and control 
of everybody and everything4  ,it is    
impossible to exaggerate the slavery1   
the mental degradation1 the abject      
superstition of the people of ,scotland 
during the reign of ,presbyterianism4   
,heretics were hunted and devoured as   
though they had been wild beasts4  ,the 
gloomy insanity of ,presbyterianism took
 possession of a great majority of the  
people4 ,they regarded their ministers  
as the ,jews did ,moses and ,aaron4     
,they believed that they were the       
especial agents of ,god1 and that       
whatsoever they bound in ,scotland would
 be bound in heaven4  ,there was not one
 particle of intellectual freedom4  ,no 
one was allowed to differ from the      
church1 or to even contradict a priest4 
,had ,presbyterianism maintained its    
ascendancy1 ,scotland would have been   

peopled by savages today4  ,the         
revengeful spirit of ,calvin took       
possession of the ,puritans and caused  
them to redden the soil of the new world
 with the brave blood of honest men4    
,clinging to the five points of ,calvin1
 they1 too1 established governments in  
accordance with the teachings of the old
 testament4 ,they1 too1 attached the    
penalty of death to the expression of   
honest thought4  ,they1 too1 believed   
their church supreme1 and exerted all   
their power to curse this continent with
 a spiritual despotism as infamous as it
 was absurd4  ,they believed with       
,luther that universal toleration is    
universal error1 and universal error is 
universal hell4 ,toleration was         
denounced as a crime4  ,fortunately for 
us1 civilization has had a softening    
effect upon the ,presbyterian church4   
,to the ennobling influence of the arts 
and science the savage spirit of        
,calvinism has1 in some slight degree1  
succumbed4 ,true1 the old creed remains 

substantially as it was written1 but by 
a kind of tacit understanding it has    
come to be regarded as a relic of the   
past4 ,the cry of heresy has been       
growing fainter and fainter1 and1 as a  
consequence1 the ministers of that      
denomination have ventured now and then 
to express doubts as to the damnation of
 infants1 and the doctrine of total     
depravity4 ,the fact is1 the old ideas  
became a little monotonous to the       
people4  ,the fall of man1 the scheme of
 redemption and irresistible grace1     
began to have a familiar sound4  ,the   
preachers told the old stories while the
 congregation slept4 ,some of the       
ministers became tired of these stories 
themselves4 ,the five points grew dull1 
and they felt that nothing short of     
irresistible grace could bear this      
endless repetition4  ,the outside world 
was full of progress1 and in every      
direction men advanced1 while the       
church1 anchored to a creed1 idly rotted
 at the shore4  ,other denominations1   

imbued some little with the spirit of   
investigation1 were springing up on     
every side1 while the old ,presbyterian 
ark rested on the ,ararat of the past1  
filled with the theological monsters of 
another age4  ,lured by the splendors of
 the outer world1 tempted by the        
achievements of science1 longing to feel
 the throw and beat of the mighty march 
of the human race1 a few of the         
ministers of this conservative          
denomination were compelled by          
irresistible sense1 to say a few words  
in harmony with the splendid ideas of   
today4  ,these utterances have upon     
several occasions so nearly awakened    
some of the members1 that1 rubbing their
 eyes1 they have feebly inquired whether
 these grand ideas were not somewhat    
heretical8 ,these ministers found that  
just in proportion as their orthodoxy   
decreased1 their congregations          
increased4  ,those who dealt in the pure
 unadulterated article1 found themselves
 demonstrating the five points to a less

 number of hearers than they had points4
 ,stung to madness by this bitter truth1
 this galling contrast1 this harassing  
fact1 the really orthodox have raised   
the cry of heresy1 and expect with this 
cry to seal the lips of honest men4 ,one
 of these ministers1 and one who has    
been enjoying the luxury of a little    
honest thought1 and the real rapture of 
expressing it1 has already been         
indicted1 and is about to be tried by   
the ,presbytery of ,illinois4  ,he has  
been charged3  ,first4  ,with speaking  
in an ambiguous language in relation to 
that dear old doctrine of the fall of   
man4  ,with having neglected to preach  
that most comforting and consoling      
truth1 the eternal damnation of the     
soul4  ,surely1 that man must be a      
monster who could wish to blot this     
blessed doctrine out and rob earth's    
wretched children of this blissful hope6
  ,who can estimate the misery that has 
been caused by this most infamous       
doctrine of eternal punishment8  ,think 

of the lives it has blighted--of the    
tears it has caused--of the agony it has
 produced4  ,think of the millions who  
have been driven to insanity by this    
most terrible of dogmas4  ,this doctrine
 renders ,god the basest and most cruel 
being in the universe4  ,compared with  
him1 the most frightful deities of the  
most barbarous and degraded tribes are  
miracles of goodness and mercy4 ,there  
is nothing more degrading than to       
worship such a ,god4  ,lower than this  
the soul can never sink4  ,if the       
doctrine of eternal damnation is true1  
let me have my portion in hell1 rather  
than in heaven with a ,god infamous     
enough to inflict eternal misery upon   
any of the sons of men4  ,second4  ,with
 having spoken a few kind words of      
,robert ,collyer and ,john ,stuart      
,mill4  ,i have the honor of a slight   
acquaintance with ,robert ,collyer4 ,i  
have read with pleasure some of his     
exquisite productions4  ,he has a brain 
full of the dawn1 the head of a         

philosopher1 the imagination of a poet1 
and the sincere heart of a child4  ,is a
 minister to be silenced because he     
speaks fairly of a noble and candid     
adversary8  ,is it a crime to compliment
 a lover of justice1 an advocate of     
liberty2 one who devoted his life to the
 elevation of man1 the discovery of     
truth1 and the promulgation of what he  
believed to be right8  ,can that tongue 
be palsied by a presbytery that praises 
a self-denying and heroic life8  ,is it 
a sin to speak a charitable word over   
the grave of ,john ,stuart ,mill8  ,is  
it heretical to pay a just and graceful 
tribute to departed worth8  ,must the   
true ,presbyterian violate the sanctity 
of the tomb1 dig open the grave1 and ask
 his ,god to curse the silent dust8 ,is 
,presbyterianism so narrow that it      
conceives of no excellence1 of no purity
 of intention1 of no spiritual and moral
 grandeur outside of its barbaric creed8
  ,does it still retain within its stony
 heart all the malice of its founder8   

,is it still warming its fleshless hands
 at the flames that consumed ,servetus8 
,does it still glory in the damnation of
 infants1 and does it still persist in  
emptying the cradle in order that       
perdition may be filled8  ,is it still  
starving the soul and famishing the     
heart8  ,is it still trembling and      
shivering1 crouching and crawling1      
before its ignorant confession of faith8
  ,had such men as ,robert ,collyer and 
,john ,stuart ,mill been present at the 
burning of ,servetus1 they would have   
extinguished the flames with their      
tears4  ,had the ,presbytery of ,chicago
 been there1 they would have quietly    
turned their backs1 solemnly divided    
their coat-tails and warmed themselves4 
,third4  ,with having spoken            
disparagingly of the doctrine of        
predestination4  ,if there is any dogma 
that ought to be protected by law1      
predestination is that doctrine4        
,surely it is a cheerful1 joyous thing  
to one who is laboring1 struggling and  

suffering in this weary world1 to think 
that before he existed1 before the earth
 was1 before a star had glittered in the
 heavens1 before a ray of light had left
 the quiver of the sun1 his destiny had 
been irrevocably fixed1 and that for an 
eternity before his birth he had been   
doomed to bear eternal pain6  ,fourth4  
,with having failed to preach the       
efficacy of vicarious sacrifice4        
,suppose a man had been convicted of    
murder1 and was about to be hanged--the 
,governor acting as the executioner4    
,and suppose just as the doomed man was 
to suffer death1 some one in the crowd  
should step forward and say1 ,i am      
willing to die in the place of that     
murderer4 ,he has a family1 and ,i have 
none4  ,and suppose further that the    
,governor should reply1 ,come forward1  
young man1 your offer is accepted4  ,a  
murder has been committed1 and somebody 
must be hung1 and your death will       
satisfy the law just as well as the     
death of the murderer4  ,what would you 

then think of the doctrine of  vicarious
 sacrifice8  ,this doctrine is the      
consummation of two outrages--forgiving 
one crime and committing another4       
,fifth4  ,with having inculcated a phase
 of the doctrine commonly known as      
,evolution or ,development4  ,the church
 believes and teaches the exact opposite
 of this doctrine4  ,according to the   
philosophy of theology1 man has         
continued to degenerate for six thousand
 years4  ,to teach that there is that in
 ,nature which impels to higher forms   
and grander ends1 is heresy of course4  
,the ,deity will damn ,spencer and his  
,evolution1 ,darwin and his ,origin of  
,species1 ,bastin and his ,spontaneous  
,generation1 ,huxley and his            
,protoplasm1 ,tyndall and his ,prayer   
,guage1 and will save those1 and those  
only who declare that the universe has  
been cursed from the smallest atom to   
the grandest star2 that everything tends
 to evil1 and to that only2 and that the
 only perfect thing in ,nature is the   

,presbyterian confession of faith4      
,sixth4  ,with having intimated that the
 reception of ,socrates and ,penelope at
 heaven's gate was1 to say the least1 a 
trifle more cordial than that of        
,catherine ,,ii4  ,penelope waiting     
patiently and trustfully for her lord's 
return1 delaying her suitors1 while     
sadly weaving and un-weaving the shroud 
of ,laertes1 is the most perfect type of
 wife and woman produced by the         
civilization of ,greece4  ,socrates1    
whose life was above reproach1 and whose
 death was beyond all praise1 stands    
today1 in the estimation of every       
thoughtful man1 at least the peer of    
,christ4  ,catharine ,,ii assassinated  
her husband4  ,stepping upon his corpse1
 she mounted the throne4  ,she was the  
murderess of ,prince ,ivan1 the         
grand-nephew of ,peter the ,great1 who  
was imprisoned for eighteen years1 and  
who1 during all that time1 saw the sky  
but once4  ,taken all in all1 ,catharine
 was probably one of the most           

intellectual beasts that ever wore a    
crown4  ,catharine1 however1 was the    
head of the ,greek ,church1 ,socrates   
was a heretic1 and ,penelope lived and  
died without having once heard of       
particular redemption1 or irresistible  
grace4  ,seventh4  ,with repudiating the
 idea of a call to ministry1 and        
pretending that men were called1 to     
preach as they were to the other        
avocations of life4  ,if this doctrine  
is true1 ,god1 to say the least of it1  
is an exceedingly poor judge of human   
nature4  ,it is more than a century     
since a man of true genius has been     
found in an orthodox pulpit4  ,every    
minister is heretical just to the extent
 that his intellect is above the        
average4 ,the ,lord seems to be         
satisfied with mediocrity2 but the      
people are not4  ,an old deacon1 wishing
 to get rid of an unpopular preacher1   
advised him to give up the ministry1 and
 turn his attention to something else4  
,the preacher replied that he could not 

conscientiously desert the pulpit1 as he
 had a call to the ministry4  ,to which 
the deacon replied1 ,that may be so1 but
 it's mighty unfortunate for you that   
when ,god called you to preach1 ,he     
forgot to call anybody to hear you4     
,there is nothing more stupidly         
egotistic than the claim of the clergy  
that they are1 in some divine sense1 set
 apart to the service of the ,lord2 that
 they have been chosen and sanctified2  
that there is an infinite difference    
between them and persons employed in    
secular affairs4  ,they teach us that   
all other professions must take care of 
themselves2 that ,god allows anybody to 
be a doctor1 a lawyer1 statesman1       
soldier1 or artist2 that the ,motts and 
,coopers--the ,mansfields and           
,marshalls--the ,wilberforces and       
,sumners--the ,angelos and              
,raphaels--were never honored by a call4
  ,these chose their professions and won
 their laurels without the assistance of
 the ,lord4 ,all these men were left    

free to follow their own inclinations   
while ,god was busily engaged selecting 
and calling priests1 rectors1 elders1   
ministers and exhorters4  ,eighth4      
,with having doubted that ,god was the  
author of the #ajith ,psalm4  ,the      
portion of that ,psalm which carries    
with it the clearest and most           
satisfactory evidences of inspiration1  
and which has afforded almost           
unspeakable consolation to the          
,presbyterian church1 is as follows3    
,set thou a wicked man over him2 and let
 ,satan stand at his right hand4  ,when 
he shall be judged1 let him be          
condemned2 and let his prayer become    
sin4  ,let his days be few2 and let     
another take his office4  ,let his      
children be fatherless1 and his wife a  
widow4  ,let his children be continually
 vagabonds1 and beg2 let them seek their
 bread also out of their desolate       
places4  ,let the extortioner catch all 
that he hated2 and let the strangers    
spoil his labor4  ,let there be none to 

extend mercy unto him2 neither let there
 be none to favor his fatherless        
children4  ,let his posterity be cut    
off2 and in the generation following let
 their name be blotted out4  ,but do    
thou for me1 ,o ,god the ,lord1 for ,thy
 name's sake2 because ,thy mercy is     
good1 deliver thou me4444  ,i will      
greatly praise the ,lord with my mouth4 
,think of a ,god wicked and malicious   
enough to inspire this prayer4 ,think of
 one infamous enough to answer it4  ,had
 this inspired ,psalm been found in some
 temple erected for the worship of      
snakes1 or in the possession of some    
cannibal king1 written with blood upon  
the dried skins of babes1 there would   
have been a perfect harmony between its 
surroundings and its sentiments4  ,no   
wonder that the author of this inspired 
,psalm coldly received ,socrates and    
,penelope1 and reserved his sweetest    
smiles for ,catharine the ,second6      
,ninth4  ,with having said that the     
battles in which the ,israelites engaged

 with the approval and command of       
,jehovah surpassed in cruelty those of  
,julius ,caesar4  ,was it ,julius       
,caesar who said1 ,and the ,lord our    
,god delivered him before us2 and we    
smote him1 and his sons1 and all his    
people4  ,and we took all his cities1   
and utterly destroyed the men1 and the  
women and the little ones1 of every     
city1 we left none to remain8  ,did     
,julius ,caesar send the following      
report to the ,roman ,senate8 ,and we   
took all his cities at that time1 there 
was not a city which we took not from   
them1 three-score city1 all the region  
of ,argob1 the kingdom of ,og1 in       
,bashan4  ,all these cities were fenced 
with high walls1 gates and bars2 besides
 unwalled towns a great many4  ,and we  
utterly destroyed them1 as we did unto  
,sihon1 king of ,heshbon1 utterly       
destroying the men1 women1 and children 
of every city4  ,did ,caesar take the   
city of ,jericho and utterly destroy all
 that was in the city1 both man and     

woman1 young and old8  ,did he smite all
 the country of the hills1 and of the   
south1 and of the vale1 and of the      
springs1 and all their kings1 and leave 
none remaining that breathed1 as the    
,lord ,god had commanded8  ,search the  
records of the whole world1 find out the
 history of every barbarous tribe1 and  
you can find no crime that touched a    
lower depth of infamy than those the    
bible's ,god commanded and approved4    
,for such a ,god ,i have no words to    
express my loathing and contempt1 and   
all the words in all the languages of   
man would scarcely be sufficient4  ,away
 with such a ,god6  ,give me ,jupiter   
rather1 with ,io and ,europa1 or even   
,siva with his skulls and snakes1 or    
give me none4  ,tenth4  ,with having    
repudiated the doctrines of total       
depravity4  ,what a precious doctrine is
 that of the total depravity of the     
human heart6  ,how sweet it is to       
believe that the lives of all the good  
and great were continual sins and       

perpetual crimes2 that the love a mother
 bears her child is1 in the sight of    
,god1 a sin2 that the gratitude of the  
natural heart is simple meanness2 that  
the tears of pity are impure2 that for  
the unconverted to live and labor for   
others is an offense to heaven2 that the
 noblest aspirations of the soul are low
 and groveling in the sight of ,god2    
that man should fall upon his knees and 
ask forgiveness1 simply for loving his  
wife and child1 and that even the act of
 asking forgiveness is in fact a crime4 
,surely it is a kind of bliss to feel   
that every woman and child in the wide  
world1 with the exception of those who  
believe the five points1 or some other  
equally cruel creed1 and such children  
as have been baptized1 ought at this    
very moment to be dashed down to the    
lowest glowing gulf of the hell6  ,take 
from the ,christian the history of his  
own church2 leave that entirely out of  
the question1 and he has no argument    
left with which to substantiate the     

total depravity of man4  ,a minister    
once asked an old lady1 a member of his 
church1 what she thought of the doctrine
 of total depravity1 and the dear old   
soul replied that she thought it a      
mighty good doctrine if the ,lord would 
only give the people grace enough to    
live up to it8  ,eleventh4  ,with having
 doubted the perseverance of the saints4
  ,i suppose the real meaning of this   
doctrine is that ,presbyterians are just
 as sure of going to heaven as all other
 folks are of going to hell4 ,the real  
idea being1 that it all depends upon the
 will of ,god1 and not upon the         
character of the person to be damned or 
saved2 that ,god has the weakness to    
send ,presbyterians to ,paradise1 and   
the justice to doom the rest of mankind 
to eternal fire4  ,it is admitted that  
no unconverted brain can see the least  
of sense in this doctrine2 that it is   
abhorrent to all who have not been the  
recipients of a new heart2  that only   
the perfectly good can justify the      

perfectly infamous4  ,it is contended   
that the saints do not persevere of     
their own free will--that they are      
entitled to no credit for persevering2  
but that ,god forces them to persevere2 
while on the other hand1 every crime is 
committed in accordance with the secret 
will of ,god1 who does all things for   
,his own glory4  ,compared with this    
doctrine1 there is no other idea1 that  
has ever been believed by man1 that can 
properly be called absurd4  ,as to the  
doctrine of the perseverance of the     
saints1 ,i wish with all my heart that  
it may prove to be a fact1 ,i really    
hope that every saint1 no matter how    
badly he may break on the first quarter1
 nor how many shoes he may cast at the  
half-mile pole1 will foot it bravely    
down the long home-stretch1 and win     
eternal heaven by at least a neck4      
,twelfth4  ,with having spoken and      
written somewhat lightly of the idea of 
converting the heathen with doctrinal   
sermons4  ,of all the failures of which 

we have any history or knowledge the    
missionary effort is the most           
conspicuous4  ,the whole question has   
been decided here1 in our own country1  
and conclusively settled4  ,we have     
nearly exterminated the ,indians2 but we
 have converted none4  ,from the days of
 ,john ,eliot to the execution of the   
last ,modoc1 not one ,indian has been   
the subject of irresistible grace or    
particular redemption4 ,the few red men 
who roam the ,western wilderness have no
 thought or care concerning the five    
points of ,calvin4  ,they are utterly   
oblivious to the great and vital truths 
contained in the ,thirty-nine articles1 
the ,saybrook platform1 and the         
resolutions of the ,evangelical         
,alliance4  ,no ,indian has ever scalped
 another on account of his religious    
belief4 ,this of itself shows           
conclusively that the missionaries have 
had no effect4  ,why should we convert  
the heathen of ,china and kill our own8 
,why should we send missionaries across 

the seas1 and soldiers over the plains8 
,why should we send bibles to the ,east 
and muskets to the ,west8 ,if it is     
impossible to convert ,indians who have 
no religion of their own2 no prejudice  
for or against the eternal procession of
 the ,holy ,ghost1 how can we expect to 
convert a heathen who has a religion2   
who has plenty of gods and bibles and   
prophets and ,christs1 and who has a    
religious literature far grander than   
our own8  ,can we hope1 with the story  
of ,daniel in the lion's den1 to rival  
the stupendous miracles of ,india8  ,is 
there anything in our bible as lofty and
 loving as the prayer of the ,buddhist8 
,compare your ,confession of ,faith with
 the following3  ,never will ,i seek nor
 receive private individual             
salvation--never enter into final peace 
alone2 but forever and everywhere will  
,i live and strive for the universal    
redemption of every creature throughout 
all worlds4  ,until all are delivered1  
never will ,i leave the world of sin1   

sorrow and struggle1 but will remain    
where ,i am4  ,think of sending an      
average ,presbyterian to convert a man  
who daily offers this tender1 this      
infinitely generous and incomparable    
prayer6 ,think of reading the #ajith    
,psalm to a heathen who has a bible of  
his own1 in which is found this passage3
  ,blessed is that man1 and beloved of  
all the gods1 who is afraid of no man1  
and of whom no man is afraid6  ,why     
should you read even the new testament  
to a ,hindoo1 when his own ,chrishna has
 said3  ,if a man strike thee1 and in   
striking drop his staff1 pick it up and 
hand it to him again8  ,why send a      
,presbyterian to a ,sufi1 who says3     
,better one moment of silent            
contemplation and inward love1 than     
seventy thousand years of outward       
worship8 ,whosoever would carelessly    
tread one worm that crawls on earth1    
that heartless one is darkly alienate   
from ,god2 but he that1 living1         
embraceth all things in his love1 to    

live with him ,god bursts all bounds    
above1 below4  ,why should we endeavor  
to thrust our cruel and heartless       
theology upon one who prays this prayer3
  ,o ,god1 show pity toward the wicked2 
for on the good thou hast already       
bestowed thy mercy by having created    
them virtuous8  ,compare this prayer    
with the curses and cruelties of the old
 testament--with the infamies commanded 
and approved by the being whom the are  
taught to worship as a ,god1 and with   
the following tender product of         
,presbyterianism3  ,it may seem absurd  
to human wisdom that ,god should harden1
 blind1 and deliver up some men to a    
reprobate sense2 that ,he should first  
deliver them over to evil1 and then     
condemn them for that evil2 but the     
believing spiritual man sees no         
absurdity in all this1 knowing that ,god
 would never be a whit less good1 even  
though ,he should destroy all men4  ,of 
all the religions that have been        
produced by the egotism1 the malice1 the

 ignorance and ambition of man1         
,presbyterianism is the most hideous4   
,but what shall ,i say more8 for the    
time would fail me to tell of           
,sabellianism1 of a ,model trinity and  
the eternal procession of the ,holy     
,ghost4  ,upon these charges a minister 
is to be tried1 here in ,chicago2 in    
this city of pluck and progress--this   
marvel of energy1 and this miracle of   
nerve4  ,the cry of heresy here1 sounds 
like a wail from the ,dark ,ages--a     
shriek from the ,inquisition1 or a groan
 from the grave of ,calvin4  ,another   
effort is being made to enslave a man4  
,it is claimed that every member of the 
church has solemnly agreed never to     
outgrow the creed2 that he has pledged  
himself to remain an intellectual dwarf4
 ,upon this condition the church agrees 
to save his soul1 and he hands over his 
brains to bind the bargain4 ,should a   
fact be found inconsistent with the     
creed1 he binds himself to deny the fact
 and curse the finder4  ,with scraps of 

dogmas and crumbs of doctrine1 he agrees
 that his soul shall be satisfied       
forever4  ,what an intellectual feast   
the confession of faith must be6  ,it   
reminds one of the dinner described by  
,sidney ,smith1 where everything was    
cold except the water1 and everything   
sour except the vinegar4  ,every member 
of a church promises to remain orthodox1
 that is to say--stationary4  ,growth is
 heresy4  ,orthodox ideas are the       
feathers that have been molted by the   
eagle of progress4  ,they are the dead  
leaves under the majestic palm2 while   
heresy is the bud and blossom at the    
top4  ,imagine a vine that grows at one 
end and decays at the other4 ,the end   
that grows is heresy2 the end that rots 
is orthodox4 ,the dead are orthodox1 and
 your cemetery is the most perfect type 
of a well regulated church4  ,no        
thought1 no progress1 no heresy there4  
,slowly and silently1 side by side1 the 
satisfied members peacefully decay4     
,there is only this difference--the dead

 do not persecute4  ,and what does a    
trial for heresy mean8  ,it means that  
the church says to a heretic1 ,believe  
as ,i do1 or ,i will withdraw my        
support2 ,i will not employ you2 ,i will
 pursue you until your garments are     
rags2 until your children cry for bread2
 until your cheeks are furrowed with    
tears4 ,i will hunt you to the very     
portals of the tomb1 and then my ,god   
will do the rest4  ,i will not imprison 
you4  ,i will not burn you4  ,the law   
prevents my doing that4  ,i helped make 
the law1 not1 however1 to protect you1  
nor deprive me of the right to          
exterminate you1 but in order to keep   
other churches from exterminating me4   
,a trial for heresy means that the      
spirit of persecution still lingers in  
the church2 that it still denies the    
right of private judgment2 that it still
 thinks more of creed than truth2 that  
it is still determined to prevent the   
intellectual growth of man4 ,it means   
that churches are shambles in which are 

bought and sold the souls of men4  ,it  
means that the church is still guilty of
 the barbarity of opposing thought with 
force4  ,it means that if it had the    
power1 the mental horizon would be      
bounded by a creed1 that it would bring 
again the whips1 and chains1 and dungeon
 keys1 the rack and fagot of the past4  
,but let me tell the church it lacks the
 power4  ,there has been1 and still are1
 too many men who own themselves--too   
much thought1 too much knowledge for the
 church to grasp again the sword of     
power4  ,the church must abdicate4  ,for
 the ,eglon of superstition1 science has
 a message from truth4  ,the heretics   
have not thought and suffered and died  
in vain4 ,every heretic has been1 and   
is1 a ray of light4  ,not in vain did   
,voltaire1 that great man1 point from   
the foot of the ,alps1 the finger of    
scorn at every hypocrite in ,europe4    
,not in vain were the splendid          
utterances of the infidels1 while beyond
 all price are the discoveries of       

science4 ,the church has impeded1 but it
 has not and it cannot stop the onward  
march of the human race4 ,heresy can not
 be burned1 nor imprisoned1 nor starved4
  ,it laughs at presbyteries and synods1
 at ,ecumenical councils and the        
impotent thunders of ,sinai4  ,heresy is
 the eternal dawn1 the morning star1 the
 glittering herald of the day4  ,heresy 
is the last and best thought4  ,it is   
the perpetual new world2 the unknown    
sea1 toward which the brave all sail4   
,it is the eternal horizon of progress4 
,heresy extends the hospitalities of the
 brain to new thoughts4  ,heresy is a   
cradle2 orthodoxy a coffin4  ,why should
 a man be afraid to think1 and why      
should he fear to express his thoughts8 
,is it possible that an infinite ,deity 
is unwilling that man should investigate
 the phenomena by which he is           
surrounded8  ,is it possible that a ,god
 delights in threatening and terrifying 
men8 ,what glory1 what honor and renown 
a ,god must win in such a field6  ,the  

ocean raving at a drop2 a star envious  
of a candle2 the sun jealous of a       
firefly6  ,go on1 presbyteries and      
synods1 go on6  ,thrust the heretics out
 of the church4  ,that is to say1 throw 
away your brains--put out your eyes4    
,the ,infidels will thank you4  ,they   
are willing to adopt your exiles4 ,every
 deserter from your camp is a recruit   
for the army of progress4 ,cling to the 
ignorant dogmas of the past2 read the   
#ajith ,psalm2 gloat over the slaughter 
of mothers and babes2 thank ,god for    
total depravity2 shower your honors upon
 hypocrites1 and silence every minister 
who is touched with that heresy called  
genius4  ,be true to your history4      
,turn out the astronomers1 the          
geologists1 the naturalists1 the        
chemists1 and all the honest scientists4
  ,with a whip of scorpions1 drive them 
all out4  ,we want them all4  ,keep the 
ignorant1 the superstitious1 the        
bigoted1 and the writers of charges and 
specifications4  ,keep them1 and keep   

them all4  ,repeat your pious platitudes
 in the drowsy ears of the faithful1 and
 read your bible to heretics1 as kings  
read some forgotten riot-act to stop and
 stay the waves of revolution4  ,you are
 too weak to excite anger4  ,we forgive 
your efforts as the sun forgives a      
cloud--as the air forgives the breath   
you waste4  ,how long1 ,o how long will 
man listen to the threats of ,god1 and  
shut his ears to the splendid promises  
of ,nature8  ,how long1 ,o how long will
 man remain the cringing slave of a     
false and cruel creed4  ,by this time   
the whole world should know that the    
real bible has not yet been written2 but
 is being written1 and that it will     
never be finished until the race begins 
its downward march or ceases to exist4  
,the real bible is not the work of      
inspired men1 nor prophets1 nor         
apostles1 nor evangelists1 nor of       
,christ4 ,every man who finds a fact1   
adds1 as it were1 a word to this great  
book4  ,it is not attested by prophecy1 

by miracles or by signs4  ,it makes no  
appeal to faith1 to ignorance1 to       
credulity of fear4  ,it has no          
punishment for unbelief1 and no reward  
for hypocrisy4  ,it appears to men in   
the name of demonstration4  ,it has     
nothing to conceal4  ,it has no fear of 
being read1 of being investigated and   
understood4  ,it does not pretend to be 
holy or sacred2 it simply claims to be  
true4  ,it challenges the scrutiny of   
all1 and implores every reader to verify
 every line for himself4  ,it is        
incapable of being blasphemed4  ,this   
book appeals to all the surroundings of 
man4  ,each thing that exists testifies 
of its perfection4  ,the earth with its 
heart of fire and crowns of snow2 with  
its forests and plains1 its rocks and   
seas2 with its every wave and cloud2    
with its every leaf1 and bud1 and       
flower1 confirms its every word1 and the
 solemn stars1 shining in the infinite  
abysses1 are the eternal witnesses of   
its truth4       ,ingersoll's ,lecture  

on ,the ,bible    ,the true bible       
appeals to man in the name of           
demonstration4  ,it has nothing to      
conceal4  ,it has no fear of being read1
 of being contradicted1 of being        
investigated and understood4  ,it does  
not pretend to be holy or sacred1 it    
simply claims to be true4  ,it          
challenges the scrutiny of all1 and     
implores every reader to verify every   
line for himself4  ,it is incapable of  
being blasphemed4  ,this book appeals to
 all the surroundings of man4 ,each     
thing that exists testifies of its      
perfection4  ,the earth1 with its heart 
of fire and crowns of snow2 with its    
forests and plains1 its rocks and seas2 
with its every wave and cloud2 with its 
every leaf and bud and flower1 confirms 
its every word1 and the solemn stars1   
shining in the infinite abysses1 are the
 external witnesses of its truth4  ,i   
will tell you what ,i mean by           
inspiration4  ,i go and look at the sea1
 and the sea says something to me2 it   

makes an impression upon my mind4 ,that 
impression depends1 first1 upon my      
experience2 secondly1 upon my           
intellectual capacity4 ,another looks   
upon the same sea4 ,he has a different  
brain1 he has had a different           
experience1 he has different memories   
and different hopes4 ,the sea may speak 
to him of joy and to me of grief and    
sorrow4 ,the sea cannot tell the same   
thing to two beings1 because no two     
human beings have had the same          
experience4 ,so1 when ,i look upon a    
flower1 or a star1 or a painting1 or a  
statue1 the more ,i know about sculpture
 the more that statue speaks to me4 ,the
 more ,i have had of human experience1  
the more ,i have read1 the greater brain
 ,i have1 the more the star says to me4 
,in other words1 nature says to me all  
that ,i am capable of understanding4    
,think of a ,god wicked and malicious   
enough to inspire this prayer in the    
#ajith ,psalm6 ,think of one infamous   
enough to answer it6 ,had this inspired 

,psalm been found in some temple erected
 for the worship of snakes1 or in the   
possession of some cannibal king1       
written with blood upon the dried skins 
of babes1 there would have been a       
perfect harmony between its surroundings
 and its sentiments4  ,now1 ,i read the 
bible1 and ,i find that ,god so loved   
this world that he made up his mind to  
damn the most of us4 ,i have read this  
book and what shall ,i say of it8 ,i    
believe it is generally better to be    
honest4 ,now1 ,i don't believe the      
bible4 ,had ,i not better say so8 ,they 
say that if you do you will regret it   
when you come to die4 ,if that be true1 
,i know a great many religious people   
who will have no cause to regret        
it--they don't tell their honest        
convictions about the bible4  ,the bible
 was the real persecutor4 ,the bible    
burned heretics1 built dungeons1 founded
 the ,inquisition1 and trampled upon all
 the liberties of men4 ,how long1 ,o how
 long1 will mankind worship a book8 ,how

 long will they grovel in the dust      
before the ignorant legends of the      
barbaric past8 ,how long1 ,o how long1  
will they pursue phantoms in a darkness 
deeper than death8  ,the believers in   
the bible are loud in their denunciation
 of what they are pleased to call the   
immoral literature of the world2 and yet
 few books have been published          
containing more moral filth than this   
inspired word of ,god4 ,these stories   
are not redeemed by a single flash of   
wit or humor4 ,they never rise above the
 dull details of stupid vice4 ,for one1 
,i cannot afford to soil my pages with  
extracts from them2 and all such        
portions of the scriptures ,i leave to  
be examined1 written upon1 and explained
 by the clergy4 ,clergymen may know some
 way by which they can extract honey    
from these flowers4 ,until these        
passages are expunged from the old      
testament1 it is not a fit book to be   
read by either old or young4 ,it        
contains pages that no minister in the  

,united ,states would read to his       
congregation for any reward whatever4   
,there are chapters that no gentleman   
would read in the presence of a lady4   
,there are chapters that no father would
 read to his child4 ,there are          
narratives utterly unfit to be told2 and
 the time will come when mankind will   
wonder that such a book was ever called 
inspired4  ,but as long as the bible is 
considered as the work of ,god1 it will 
be hard to make all men too good and    
pure to imitate it2 and as long as it is
 imitated there will be vile and filthy 
books4 ,the literature of our country   
will not be sweet and clean until the   
bible ceases to be regarded as the      
production of a god4  ,in the days of   
,thomas ,paine the church believed and  
taught that every word in the bible was 
absolutely true4 ,since his day it has  
been proven false in its cosmogony1     
false in its astronomy1 false in its    
chronology1 false in its history1 and so
 far as the old testament is concerned1 

false in almost everything4 ,there are  
but few1 if any1 scientific men who     
apprehend that the bible is literally   
true4 ,who on earth at this day would   
pretend to settle any scientific        
question by a text from the bible8 ,the 
old belief is confined to the ignorant  
and zealous4 ,the church itself will    
before long be driven to occupy the     
position of ,thomas ,paine6  ,i love any
 man who gave me1 or helped to give me1 
the liberty ,i enjoy tonight4 ,i love   
every man who helped put our flag in    
heaven4 ,i love every man who has lifted
 his voice in all the ages for liberty1 
for a chainless body1 and a fetterless  
brain4 ,i love every man who has given  
to every other human being every right  
that he claimed for himself4 ,i love    
every man who thought more of principle 
than he did of position4 ,i love the men
 who have trampled crowns beneath their 
feet that they might do something for   
mankind4  ,the best minds of the        
orthodox world1 today1 are endeavoring  

to prove the existence of a personal    
,deity4 ,all other questions occupy a   
minor place4 ,you are no longer asked to
 swallow the bible whole1 whale1 ,jonah 
and all2 you are simply required to     
believe in ,god1 and pay your pew-rent4 
,there is not now an enlightened        
minister in the world who will seriously
 contend that ,samson's strength was in 
his hair1 or that the necromancers of   
,egypt could turn water into blood1 and 
pieces of wood into serpents4 ,these    
follies have passed away4  ,for my part1
 ,i would infinitely prefer to know all 
the results of scientific investigation 
than to be inspired as ,moses was4      
,supposing the bible to be true2 why is 
it any worse or more wicked for         
free-thinkers to deny it1 than for      
priests to deny the doctrine of         
evolution1 or the dynamic theory of     
heat8 ,why should we be damned for      
laughing at ,samson and his foxes1 while
 others1 holding the nebular hypothesis 
in utter contempt1 go straight to       

heaven8  ,now when ,i come to a book1   
for instance1 ,i read the writings of   
,shakespeare--,shakespeare1 the greatest
 human being who ever existed upon this 
globe4 ,what do ,i get out of him8 ,all 
that ,i have sense enough to understand4
 ,i get my little cup full4 ,let another
 read him who knows nothing of the      
drama1 who knows nothing of the         
impersonation of passion2 what does he  
get from him8 ,very little4 ,in other   
words1 every man gets from a book1 a    
flower1 a star1 or the sea1 what he is  
able to get from his intellectual       
development and experience4 ,do you then
 believe that the bible is a different  
book to every human being that receives 
it8 ,i do4 ,can ,god1 then1 through the 
bible1 make the same revelation to two  
men8 ,he cannot4 ,why8 ,because the man 
who reads is the man who inspires4      
,inspiration is in the man and not in   
the book4  ,the real oppressor1 enslaver
 and corrupter of the people is the     
bible4 ,that book is the chain that     

binds1 the dungeon that holds the       
clergy4 ,that book spreads the pall of  
superstition over the colleges and      
schools4 ,that book puts out the eyes of
 science1 and makes honest investigation
 a crime4 ,that book unmans the         
politician and degrades the people4     
,that book fills the world with bigotry1
 hypocrisy and fear4  ,volumes might be 
written upon the infinite absurdity of  
this most incredible1 wicked and foolish
 of all the fables contained in that    
repository of the impossible1 called the
 bible4 ,to me it is a matter of        
amazement1 that it ever was for a moment
 believed by any intelligent human      
being4  ,is it not infinitely more      
reasonable to say that this book is the 
work of man1 that it is filled with     
mingled truth and error1 with mistakes  
and facts1 and reflects1 too faithfully 
perhaps1 the very form and pressure of  
its time8 ,if there are mistakes in the 
bible1 certainly they were made by man4 
,if there is anything contrary to       

nature1 it was written by man4 ,if there
 is anything immoral1 cruel1 heartless  
or infamous1 it certainly was never     
written by a being worthy of the        
adoration of mankind4  ,it strikes me   
that ,god might write a book that would 
not necessarily excite the laughter of  
his children4 ,in fact1 ,i think it     
would be safe to say that a real god    
could produce a work that would excite  
the admiration of mankind4  ,the man who
 now regards the old testament as1 in   
any sense1 a sacred or inspired book is1
 in my judgment1 an intellectual and    
moral deformity4 ,there is in it so much
 that is cruel1 ignorant and ferocious  
that it is to me a matter of amazement  
that it was ever thought to be the work 
of a most merciful deity4  ,admitting   
that the bible is the book of ,god1 is  
that ,his only good job8 ,will not a man
 be damned as quick for denying the     
equator as denying the bible8 ,will he  
not be damned as quick for denying      
geology as for denying the scheme of    

salvation8 ,when the bible was first    
written it was not believed4 ,had they  
known as much about science as we know  
now1 that bible would not have been     
written4  ,every sect is a certificate  
that ,god has not plainly revealed ,his 
will to man4 ,to each reader the bible  
conveys a different meaning4 ,about the 
meaning of this book1 called a          
revelation1 there have been ages of war 
and centuries of sword and flame4 ,if   
written by an infinite ,god1 ,he must   
have known that these results must      
follow2 and thus knowing1 ,he must be   
responsible for all4  ,paine thought the
 barbarities of the old testament       
inconsistent with what he deemed the    
real character of ,god4 ,he believed    
that murder1 massacre and indiscriminate
 slaughter had never been commanded by  
the ,deity4 ,he regarded much of the    
bible as childish1 unimportant and      
foolish4 ,the scientific world          
entertains the same spirit in which he  
had attacked the pretensions of kings4  

,he used the same weapons4 ,all the pomp
 in the world could not make him cower4 
,his reason knew no ,holy of ,holies1   
except the abode of ,truth4  ,nothing   
can be clearer than that ,moses received
 from the ,egyptians the principal parts
 of his narrative1 making such changes  
and additions as were necessary to      
satisfy the peculiar superstitions of   
his own people4  ,according to the      
theologians1 ,god1 the ,father of us    
all1 wrote a letter to ,his children4   
,the children have always differed      
somewhat as to the meaning of this      
letter4 ,in consequence of these honest 
difficulties1 these brothers began to   
cut out each other's hearts4 ,in every  
land1 where this letter from ,god has   
been read1 the children to whom and for 
whom it was written have been filled    
with hatred and malice4 ,they have      
imprisoned and murdered each other1 and 
the wives and children of each other4   
,in the name of ,god every possible     
crime has been committed1 every         

conceivable outrage has been            
perpetrated4 ,brave men1 tender and     
loving women1 beautiful girls and       
prattling babes have been exterminated  
in the name of ,jesus ,christ4  ,the    
church has burned honesty and rewarded  
hypocrisy4 ,and all this1 because it was
 commanded by a book--a book that men   
had been taught implicitly to believe1  
long before they knew one word that was 
in it4 ,they had been taught that to    
doubt the truth of this book--to examine
 it1 even--was a crime of such enormity 
that it could not be forgiven1 either in
 this world or in the next4  ,all that  
is necessary1 as it seems to me1 to     
convince any reasonable person that the 
bible is simply and purely of human     
invention--of barbarian invention--is to
 read it4 ,read it as you would any     
other book2 think of it as you would any
 other2 get the bandage of reverence    
from your eyes2 drive from your heart   
the phantom of fear2 push from the      
throne of you brain the cowled form of  

superstition--then read the holy bible1 
and you will be amazed that you ever1   
for one moment1 supposed a being of     
infinite wisdom1 goodness and purity1 to
 be the author of such ignorance and    
such atrocity4  ,whether the bible is   
false or true1 is of no consequence in  
comparison with the mental freedom of   
the race4 ,salvation through slavery is 
worthless4 ,salvation from slavery is   
inestimable4 ,as long as man believes   
the bible to be infallible1 that book is
 his master4 ,the civilization of this  
century is not the child of faith1 but  
of unbelief--the result of free thought4
  ,what man who ever thinks1 can believe
 that blood can appease ,god8 ,and yet  
our entire system of religion is based  
on that belief4 ,the ,jews pacified     
,jehovah with the blood of animals1 and 
according to the christian system1 the  
blood of ,jesus softened the heart of   
,god a little1 and rendered possible the
 salvation of a fortunate few4  ,it is  
hard to conceive how any sane man can   

read the bible and still believe in the 
doctrine of inspiration4  ,the bible was
 originally written in the ,hebrew      
language1 and the ,hebrew language at   
that time had no vowels in writing4 ,it 
was written entirely with consonants1   
and without being divided into chapters 
and verses1 and there was no system of  
punctuation whatever4 ,after you go home
 to-night write an ,english sentence or 
two with only consonants close together1
 and you will find that it will take    
twice as much inspiration to read it as 
it did to write it4  ,the real bible is 
not the result of inspired men1 nor     
prophets1 nor evangelists1 nor christs4 
,the real bible has not been written1   
but is being written4 ,every man who    
finds a fact adds a word to this great  
book4  ,the bad passages in the bible   
are not inspired4 ,no god ever ordered a
 soldier to sheathe his sword in the    
breast of a mother4 ,no god ever ordered
 a warrior to butcher a smiling1        
prattling babe4 ,no god ever upheld     

tyranny4 ,no god ever said1 be subject  
to the powers that be4 ,no god          
endeavored to make man a slave and woman
 a beast of burden4 ,there are thousands
 of good passages in the bible4 ,many of
 them are true4 ,there are in it wise   
laws1 good customs1 some lofty and      
splendid things4 ,and ,i do not care    
whether they are inspired or not1 so    
they are true4 ,but what ,i do insist   
upon is that the bad is not inspired4   
,there is no hope for you4 ,it is just  
as bad to deny hell as it is to deny    
heaven4 ,prof4 ,swing says the bible is 
a poem4 ,dr4 ,ryder says it is a        
picture4 ,the ,garden of ,eden is       
pictorial2 a pictorial snake and a      
pictorial woman1 ,i suppose1 and a      
pictorial man1 and may be it was a      
pictorial sin4 ,and only a pictorial    
atonement6  ,man must learn to rely on  
himself4 ,reading bibles  will not      
protect him from the blasts of winter1  
but  houses1 fire and clothing will4 ,to
 prevent famine  one plow is worth a    

million sermons1 and even patent        
medicines will cure more diseases than  
all the prayers uttered since the       
beginning of the world4                 
,ingersoll's ,lecture on ,voltaire      
,ladies and ,gentlemen3  ,the infidels  
of one age have often been the aureoled 
saints of the next4  ,the destroyers of 
the old are the creators of the new4    
,as time sweeps on the old passes away  
and the new in its turn becomes of old4 
,there is in the intellectual world1 as 
in the physical1 decay and growth1 and  
ever by the grave of buried age stand   
youth and joy4  ,the history of         
intellectual progress is written in the 
lives of infidels4  ,political rights   
have been preserved by traitors2 the    
liberty of mind by heretics4  ,to attack
 the king was treason2 to dispute the   
priest was blasphemy4  ,for many years  
the sword and cross were allies4        
,together they attacked the rights of   
man4  ,they defended each other4  ,the  
throne and altar were twins--two        

vultures from the same egg4  ,james ,i  
said3  ,no bishop2 no king4  ,he might  
have added3  ,no cross1 no crown4  ,the 
king owned the bodies of men2 the       
priest1 the souls4 ,one lived on taxes  
collected by force1 the other on alms   
collected by fear--both robbers1 both   
beggars4  ,these robbers and these      
beggars controlled two worlds4  ,the    
king made laws1 the priest made creeds4 
,both obtained their authority from     
,god1 both were the agents of the       
infinite4  ,with bowed backs the people 
carried the burdens of one1 and with    
wonder's open mouth received the dogmas 
of the other4  ,if the people aspired to
 be free1 they were crushed by the king1
 and every priest was a ,herod1 who     
slaughtered the children of the brain4  
,the king ruled by force1 the priest by 
fear1 and both by both4 ,the king said  
to the people3  ,god made you peasants1 
and ,he made me king2 ,he made you to   
labor1 and me to enjoy2 ,he made rags   
and hovels for you1 robes and palaces   

for me4  ,he made you to obey and me to 
command4  ,such is the justice of ,god1 
,and the priest said3  ,god made you    
ignorant and vile2 ,he made me holy and 
wise2 you are the sheep1 ,i am the      
shepherd2 your fleeces belong to me4    
,if you do not obey me here1 ,god will  
punish you now and torment you forever  
in another world4  ,such is the mercy of
 ,god4  ,you must not reason4  ,reason  
is a rebel4  ,you must not              
contradict--contradiction is born of    
egotism2 you must believe4 ,he that has 
ears to hear let him hear4  ,heaven is a
 question of ears4  ,fortunately for us1
 there have been traitors and there have
 been heretics1 blasphemers1 thinkers1  
investigators1 lovers of liberty1 men of
 genius1 who have given their lives to  
better the condition of their           
fellow-men4  ,it may be well enough here
 to ask the question3  ,what is         
greatness8 ,a great man adds to the sum 
of knowledge1 extends the horizon of    
thought1 releases souls from the        

,bastille of fear1 crosses unknown and  
mysterious seas1 gives new islands and  
new continents to the domain of thought1
 new constellations to the firmament of 
mind4  ,a great man does not seek       
applause or place2 he seeks for truth2  
he seeks the road to happiness1 and what
 he ascertains he gives to others4      
,a great man throws pearls before swine1
 and the swine are sometimes changed to 
men4 ,if the great had always kept their
 pearls1 vast multitudes would be       
barbarians now4  ,a great man is a torch
 in the darkness1 a beacon in           
superstition's night1 an inspiration and
 a prophecy4  ,greatness is not the gift
 of majorities2 it cannot be thrust upon
 any man2 men cannot give it to another2
 they can give place and power1 but not 
greatness4  ,the place does not make the
 man1 nor the sceptre the king4         
,greatness is from within4  ,the great  
men are the heroes who have freed the   
bodies of men2 they are the philosophers
 and thinkers who have given liberty to 

the soul2 they are the poets who have   
transfigured the common and filled the  
lives of many millions with love and    
song4  ,they are the artists who have   
covered the bare walls of weary life    
with the triumphs of genius4  ,they are 
the heroes who have slain the monsters  
of ignorance and fear1 who have outgazed
 the ,gorgon and driven the cruel gods  
from their thrones4  ,they are the      
inventors1 the discoverers1 the great   
mechanics1 the kings of the useful who  
have civilized this world4  ,at the head
 of this heroic army1 foremost of all1  
stands ,voltaire1 whose memory we are   
honoring tonight4  ,voltaire6 a name    
that excites the admiration of men1 the 
malignity of priests4 ,pronounce that   
name in the presence of a clergyman1 and
 you will find that you have made a     
declaration of war4  ,pronounce that    
name1 and from the face of the priest   
the mask of meekness will fall1 and from
 the mouth of forgiveness will pour a   
,niagara of vituperation and calumny4   

,and yet ,voltaire was the greatest man 
of his century1 and did more for the    
human race than ally other of the sons  
of men4  ,on ,sunday1 the #bast of      
,november1 #afid1 a babe was born2 a    
babe exceedingly frail1 whose breath    
hesitated about remaining4  ,this babe  
became the greatest man of the          
eighteenth century4  ,when ,voltaire    
came to this great stage of fools1 his  
country had been christianized--not     
civilized--for about fourteen hundred   
years4  ,for a thousand years the       
religion of peace and good will had been
 supreme4 ,the laws had been given by   
christian kings1 sanctioned by wise and 
holy men4  ,under the benign reign of   
universal love1 every court had its     
chamber of torture1 and every priest    
relied on the thumbscrew and rack4      
,such had been the success of the       
blessed gospel that every science was an
 outcast4  ,to speak your honest        
thoughts1 to teach your fellow men1 to  
investigate for yourself1 to seek the   

truth1 these were crimes1 and the ,holy 
,mother ,church pursued the criminals   
with sword and flame4  ,the believers in
 a ,god of love--an infinite            
father--punished hundreds of offenses   
with torture and death4  ,suspected     
persons were tortured to make them      
confess4  ,convicted persons were       
tortured to make them give the names of 
their accomplices4  ,under the          
leadership of the church cruelty had    
become the only reforming power4  ,in   
this blessed year #afid all authors were
 at the mercy of king and priest4  ,the 
most of them were cast into prisons1    
impoverished by fines and costs1 exiled 
or executed4 ,the little time that      
hangmen could snatch from professional  
duties was occupied in burning books4   
,the courts of justice were traps in    
which the innocent were caught4  ,the   
judges were almost as malicious and     
cruel as though they had been bishops or
 saints4 ,there was no trial by jury1   
and the rules of evidence allowed the   

conviction of the supposed criminal by  
the proof of suspicion or hearsay4  ,the
 witnesses1 being liable to torture1    
generally told what the judges wished to
 hear4  ,when ,voltaire was born the    
church ruled and owned ,france4  ,it was
 a period of almost universal           
corruption4  ,the priests were mostly   
libertines1 the judges cruel and venal4 
,the royal palace was a house of        
prostitution4  ,the nobles were         
heartless1 proud1 arrogant and cruel to 
the last degree4  ,the common people    
were treated as beasts4  ,it took the   
church a thousand years to bring about  
this happy condition of things4  ,the   
seeds of the revolution unconsciously   
were being scattered by every noble and 
by every priest4  ,they were germinating
 slowly in the hearts of the wretched2  
they were being watered by the tears of 
agony2 blows began to bear interest4    
,there was a faint longing for blood4   
,workmen1 blackened by the sun1 bowed by
 labor1 deformed by want2 looked at the 

white throats of scornful ladies and    
thought about cutting them4  ,in those  
days the witnesses were cross-examined  
with instruments of torture2 the church 
was the arsenal of superstition2        
miracles1 relics1 angels1 and devils    
were as common as lies4  ,voltaire was  
of the people4  ,in the language of that
 day1 he had no ancestors4  ,his real   
name was ,francois ,marie ,arouet4  ,his
 mother was ,marguerite d',aumard4      
,this mother died when he was seven     
years of age4 ,he had an elder brother1 
,armand1 who was a devotee1 very        
religious and exceedingly disagreeable4 
,this brother used to present offerings 
to the church1 hoping to make amends for
 the unbelief of his brother4  ,so far  
as we know none of his ancestors were   
literary people4  ,the ,arouets had     
never written a line4  ,the ,abbe le    
,chaulieu was his godfather1 and1       
although an abbe1 was a deist who cared 
nothing about his religion except in    
connection with his salary4  ,voltaire's

 father wanted to make a lawyer of him1 
but he had no taste for law4  ,at the   
age of #aj he entered the college of    
,louis le ,grand4  ,this was a ,jesuit  
school1 and here he remained for seven  
years1 leaving at #ag1 and never        
attending any other school4  ,according 
to ,voltaire he learned nothing at this 
school but a little ,greek1 a good deal 
of ,latin1 and a vast amount of         
nonsense4  ,in this college of ,louis le
 ,grand they did not teach geography1   
history1 mathematics1 or any science4   
,this was a ,catholic institution1      
controlled by the ,jesuits4  ,in that   
day the religion was defended1 was      
protected1 or supported by the state4   
,behind the entire creed were the       
bayonet1 the ax1 the wheel1 the fagot1  
and the torture chamber4  ,while        
,voltaire was attending the college of  
,louis le ,grand the soldiers of the    
king were hunting ,protestants in the   
mountains of ,cevennes for magistrates  
to hang on gibbets1 to put to torture1  

to break on the wheel or to burn at the 
stake4  ,there is but one use for law1  
but one excuse for government--the      
preservation of liberty--to give to each
 man his own1 to secure to the farmer   
what he produces from the soil1 the     
mechanic what he invents and makes1 to  
the artist what he creates1 to the      
thinker the right to express his        
thoughts4  ,liberty is the breath of    
progress4  ,in ,france the people were  
the sport of a king's caprice4          
,everywhere was the shadow of the       
,bastille4  ,it fell upon the sunniest  
field1 upon the happiest home4 ,with the
 king walked the headsman2 back of the  
throne was the chamber of torture4  ,the
 church appealed to the rack1 and faith 
relied on the fagot4  ,science was an   
outcast1 and philosophy1 so-called1 was 
the pander of superstition4  ,nobles and
 priests were sacred4 ,peasants were    
vermin4  ,idleness sat at the banquet   
and industry gathered the crumbs and    
crusts4  ,at #ag ,voltaire determined to

 devote his life to literature4  ,the   
father said1 speaking of his two sons1  
,armand and ,francois3  ,i have a pair  
of fools for sons1 one in verse and the 
other in prose4  ,in #agac ,voltaire1 in
 a small way1 became a diplomat4  ,he   
went to ,the ,hague attached to the     
,french minister1 and there he fell in  
love4  ,the girl's mother objected4     
,voltaire sent his clothes to the young 
lady that she might visit him4          
,everything was discovered and he was   
dismissed4  ,to this girl he wrote a    
letter1 and in it you will find the     
keynote of ,voltaire3  ,do not expose   
yourself to the fury of your mother4    
,you know what she is capable of4 ,you  
have experienced it too well4           
,dissemble2 it is your only chance4     
,tell her that you have forgotten me1   
that you hate me2 then after telling    
her1 love me all the more4  ,on account 
of this episode ,voltaire was formally  
disinherited by his father4  ,the father
 procured an order of arrest and gave   

his son the choice of going to prison or
 beyond the seas4  ,he finally consented
 to become a lawyer1 and says3  ,i have 
already been a week at work in the      
office of a solicitor learning the trade
 of a pettifogger4  ,about this time he 
competed for a prize1 writing a poem on 
the king's generosity in building the   
new choir in the cathedral ,notre ,dame4
  ,he did not win it4  ,after being with
 the solicitor a little while1 he hated 
the law1 he began to write poetry and   
the outlines of tragedy4  ,great        
questions were then agitating the public
 mind1 questions that throw a flood of  
light upon that epoch4  ,louis ,,xiv    
having died1 the regent took possession2
 and then the prisons were opened4  ,the
 regent called for a list of all persons
 then in the prisons sent there at the  
will of the king4  ,he found that1 as to
 many prisoners1 nobody knew any cause  
why they had been in prison4  ,they had 
been forgotten4  ,many of the prisoners 
did not know themselves1 and could not  

guess why they had been arrested4  ,one 
,italian had been in the ,bastille      
thirty-three years without ever knowing 
why4  ,on his arrival to ,paris         
thirty-three years before he was        
arrested and sent to prison4  ,he had   
grown old4  ,he had survived his family 
and friends4 ,when the rest were        
liberated he asked to remain where he   
was1 and lived there the rest of his    
life4  ,the old prisoners were pardoned2
 but in a little while their places were
 taken by new ones4  ,at this time      
,voltaire was not interested in the     
great world--knew very little of        
religion or of government4  ,he was busy
 writing poetry1 busy thinking of       
comedies and tragedies4  ,he was full of
 life4  ,all his fancies were winged1   
like moths4  ,he was charged with having
 written some cutting epigrams4  ,he was
 exiled to ,tulle1 three hundred miles  
away4  ,from this place he wrote in the 
true vein3 ,i am at a chateau1 a place  
that would be the most agreeable in the 

world if ,i had not been exiled to it1  
and where there is nothing wanting for  
my perfect happiness except the liberty 
of leaving4  ,it would be delicious to  
remain if ,i only were allowed to go4   
,at last the exile was allowed to       
return4  ,again he was arrested2 this   
time sent to the ,bastille1 where he    
remained for nearly a year4 ,while in   
prison he changed his name from         
,francois ,marie ,arouet to ,voltaire1  
and by that name he has since been      
known4  ,voltaire began to think1 to    
doubt1 to inquire4  ,he studied the     
history of the church of the creed4  ,he
 found that the religion of his time    
rested on the usurpation of the         
scriptures--the infallibility of the    
church--the dreams of insane            
hermits--the absurdities of the         
fathers--the mistakes and falsehoods of 
saints--the hysteria of nuns--the       
cunning of priests and the stupidity of 
the people4  ,he found that the ,emperor
 ,constantine1 who lifted christianity  

into power1 murdered his wife ,fansta   
and his eldest son ,crispus the same    
year that he convened the council of    
,nice to decide whether ,christ was a   
man or the son of ,god4  ,the council   
decided1 in the year #cbe1 that ,christ 
was consubstantial with the ,father4    
,he found that the church was indebted  
to a husband who assassinated his       
wife--a father who murdered his son--for
 settling the vexed question of the     
divinity of the ,savior4  ,he found that
 ,theodosius called a council at        
,constantinople in #cha by which it was 
decided that the ,holy ,ghost proceeded 
from the ,father--that ,theodosius1 the 
younger1 assembled a council at ,ephesus
 in #dca that declared the ,virgin ,mary
 to be the mother of ,god--that the     
,emperor ,martian called another council
 at ,chalcedon in #dea that decided that
 ,christ had two wills--that ,pognatius 
called another in #fhj that declared    
that ,christ had two natures to go with 
his two wills--and that in #abgd1 at the

 council of ,lyons1 the important fact  
was found that the ,holy ,ghost         
proceeded not only from the ,father1 but
 also from the ,son at the same time4   
,so ,voltaire has been called a mocker6 
,what did he mock8  ,he mocked kings    
that were unjust2 kings who cared       
nothing for the sufferings of their     
subjects4  ,he mocked the titled fools  
of his day4  ,he mocked the corruption  
of courts2 the meanness1 the tyranny1   
and the brutality of judges4  ,he mocked
 the absurd and cruel laws1 the         
barbarous customs4 ,he mocked popes and 
cardinals1 bishops and priests1 and all 
the hypocrites on the earth4  ,he mocked
 historians who filled their books with 
lies1 and philosophers who defended     
superstition4  ,he mocked the haters of 
liberty1 the persecutors of their       
fellow-men4  ,he mocked the arrogance1  
the cruelty1 the impudence and the      
unspeakable baseness of his time4  ,he  
has been blamed because he used the     
weapon of ridicule4 ,hypocrisy has      

always hated laughter1 and always will4 
,absurdity detests humor and stupidity  
despises wit4  ,voltaire was the master 
of ridicule4  ,he ridiculed the absurd1 
the impossible4  ,he ridiculed the      
mythologies and the miracles1 the stupid
 lives and lies of the saints4  ,he     
found pretense and mendacity crowned by 
credulity4  ,he found the ignorant many 
controlled by the cunning and cruel few4
  ,he found the historian1 saturated    
with superstition1 filling his volumes  
with the details of the impossible1 and 
he found the scientists satisfied with  
they say4 ,voltaire had the instinct of 
the probable4  ,he knew the law of      
average2 the sea level2 he had the idea 
of proportion2 and so he ridiculed the  
mental monstrosities and                
deformities--the non sequiturs--of his  
day4 ,aristotle said women had more     
teeth than men4  ,this was repeated     
again and again by the ,catholic        
scientists of the eighteenth century4   
,voltaire counted the teeth4  ,the rest 

were satisfied with they say4  ,we may1 
however1 get an idea of the condition of
 ,france from the fact that ,voltaire   
regarded ,england as the land of        
liberty4 ,while he was in ,england he   
saw the body of ,sir ,isaac ,newton     
deposited in ,westminster ,abbey4   ,he 
read the works of this great man and    
afterward gave to ,france the philosophy
 of the great ,englishman4  ,voltaire   
was the apostle of common sense4  ,he   
knew that there could have been no      
primitive or first language from which  
all other languages had been formed4    
,he knew that every language had been   
influenced by the surroundings of the   
people4 ,he knew that the language of   
snow and ice was not the language of    
palm and flower4  ,he knew also that    
there had been no miracle in language4  
,he knew it was impossible that the     
story of the ,tower of ,babel should be 
true4  ,that everything in the whole    
world had been natural4  ,he was the    
enemy of alchemy1 not only in language1 

but in science4  ,one passage from him  
is enough to show his philosophy in this
 regard4  ,he says3  ,to transmute iron 
into gold two things are necessary4     
,first1 the annihilation of the iron2   
second1 the creation of gold4  ,voltaire
 was a man of humor1 of good nature1 of 
cheerfulness4 ,he despised with all his 
heart the philosophy of ,calvin1 the    
creed of the somber1 of the severe1 of  
the unnatural4  ,he pitied those who    
needed the aid of religion to be honest1
 to be cheerful4  ,he had the courage to
 enjoy the present and the philosophy to
 bear what the future might bring4  ,and
 yet for more than a hundred and fifty  
years the ,christian world has fought   
this man and has maligned his memory4   
,in every christian pulpit his name has 
been pronounced with scorn1 and every   
pulpit has been an arsenal of slander4  
,he is one man of whom no orthodox      
minister has ever told the truth4  ,he  
has been denounced equally by ,catholics
 and ,protestants4  ,priests and        

ministers1 bishops and exhorters1       
presiding elders and popes have filled  
the world with slanders1 with calm      
calumnies about ,voltaire4 ,i am amazed 
that ministers will not or cannot tell  
the truth about an enemy of the church4 
,as a matter of fact1 for more than     
#a1jjj years almost every pulpit has    
been a mint in which slanders were      
coined4  ,for many years this restless  
man filled ,europe with the product of  
his brain4  ,essays1 epigrams1 epics1   
comedies1 tragedies1 histories1 poems1  
novels1 representing every phase and    
every faculty of the human mind4 ,at the
 same time engrossed in business1 full  
of speculation1 making money like a     
millionaire1 busy with the gossip of    
courts1 and even with the scandals of   
priests4  ,at the same time alive to all
 the discoveries of science and the     
theories of philosophers1 and in this   
babel never forgetting for a moment to  
assail the monster of superstition4     
,sleeping and waking he hated the       

church4  ,with the eyes of ,argus he    
watched1 and with the arms of           
,briarieius he struck4  ,for sixty years
 he waged continuous and unrelenting    
war1 sometimes in the open field1       
sometimes striking from the hedges of   
opportunity1 taking care during all this
 time to remain independent of all men4 
,he was in the highest sense successful4
  ,he lived like a prince1 became one of
 the powers of ,europe1 and in him1 for 
the first time1 literature was crowned4 
,voltaire1 in spite of his surroundings1
 in spite of almost universal tyranny   
and oppression1 was a believer in ,god  
and in what he was pleased to call the  
religion of nature4  ,he attacked the   
creed of his time because it was        
dishonorable to his ,god4  ,he thought  
of the ,deity as a father1 as the       
fountain of justice1 intelligence and   
mercy1 and the creed of the ,catholic   
church made him a monster of cruelty and
 stupidity4  ,he attacked the bible with
 all the weapons at his command4 ,he    

assailed its geology1 its astronomy1 its
 idea of justice1 its laws and customs1 
its absurd and useless miracles1 its    
foolish wonders1 its ignorance on all   
subjects1 its insane prophecies1 its    
cruel threats1 and its extravagant      
promises4  ,at the same time he praised 
the ,god of nature1 the ,god who gives  
us rain and light1 and food and flowers1
 and health and happiness--he who fills 
the world with youth and beauty4  ,in   
#agee came the earthquake at ,lisbon4   
,this frightful disaster became an      
immense interrogation4  ,the optimist   
was compelled to ask1 ,what was my ,god 
doing8  ,why did the ,universal ,father 
crush to shapelessness thousands of his 
poor children1 even at the moment when  
they were upon their knees returning    
thanks to ,him8 ,what could be done with
 this horror8  ,if earthquake there must
 be1 why did it not occur in some       
uninhabited desert on some wide waste of
 sea8  ,this frightful fact changed the 
theology of ,voltaire4  ,he became      

convinced that this is not the best     
possible of all worlds4  ,he became     
convinced that evil is evil here1 now   
and forever4  ,who can establish the    
existence of an infinite being8  ,it is 
beyond the conception--the reason--the  
imagination of man--probably or         
possibly--where the zenith and nadir    
meet this ,god can be found4  ,voltaire1
 attacked on every side1 fought with    
every weapon that wit1 logic1 reason1   
scorn1 contempt1 laughter1 pathos and   
indignation could sharpen1 form1 devise 
or use4  ,he often apologized1 and the  
apology was an insult4  ,he often       
recanted1 and the recantation was a     
thousand times worse than the thing     
recanted4  ,he took it back by giving   
more4  ,in the name of eulogy he flayed 
his victim4  ,in his praise there was   
poison4 ,he often advanced by           
retreating1 and asserted by retraction4 
,he did not intend to give priests the  
satisfaction of seeing him burn or      
suffer4 ,upon this very point of        

recanting1 he wrote3  ,they say ,i must 
retract4 ,very willingly4  ,i will      
declare the ,pascal is always right4    
,that if ,st4 ,luke and ,st4 ,mark      
contradict one another it is only       
another proof of the truth of religion  
to those who know how to understand such
 things2 and that another lovely proof  
of religion is that it is               
unintelligible4  ,i will even avow that 
all priests are gentle and              
disinterested2 that ,jesuits are honest 
people2 that monks are neither proud nor
 given to intrigue1 and that their odor 
is agreeable2 that the ,holy            
,inquisition is the triumph of humanity 
and tolerance4  ,in a word1 ,i will say 
all that may be desired of me1 provided 
they leave me in repose1 and will not   
prosecute a man who has done harm to    
none4  ,he gave the best years of his   
wondrous life to succor the oppressed1  
to shield the defenseless1 to reverse   
infamous decrees1 to rescue the         
innocent1 to reform the laws of ,france1

 to do away with torture1 to soften the 
hearts of priests1 to enlighten judges1 
to instruct kings1 to civilize the      
people1 and to banish from the heart of 
man the love and lust of war4 ,voltaire 
was not a saint4  ,he was educated by   
the ,jesuits4 ,he was never troubled    
about the salvation of his soul4  ,all  
the theological disputes excited his    
laughter1 the creeds his pity1 and the  
conduct of bigots his contempt4  ,he was
 much better than a saint4 ,most of the 
,christians in his day kept their       
religion not for everyday use but for   
disaster1 as ships carry lifeboats to be
 used only in the stress of storm4      
,voltaire believed in the religion of   
humanity--of good and generous deeds4   
,for many centuries the church had      
painted virtue so ugly1 sour and cold   
that vice was regarded as beautiful4    
,voltaire taught the beauty of the      
useful1 the hatefulness and hideousness 
of superstition4 ,he was not the        
greatest of poets1 or of dramatists1 but

 he was the greatest man of his time1   
the greatest friend of freedom1 and the 
deadliest foe of superstition4  ,he     
wrote the best ,french plays--but they  
were not wonderful4  ,he wrote verses   
polished and perfect in their way4 ,he  
filled the air with painted moths--but  
not with ,shakespearean eagles4  ,you   
may think that ,i have said too much2   
that ,i have placed this man too high4  
,let me tell you what ,goethe1 the great
 ,german1 said of this man3  ,if you    
wish depth1 genius1 imagination1 taste1 
reason1 sensibility1 philosophy1        
elevation1 originality1 nature1         
intellect1 fancy1 rectitude1 facility1  
flexibility1 precision1 art1 abundance1 
variety1 fertility1 warmth1 magic1      
charm1 grace1 force1 an eagle sweep of  
vision1 vast understanding1 instruction 
rich1 tone excellent1 urbanity1 suavity1
 delicacy1 correctness1 purity1         
cleanness1 eloquence1 harmony1          
brilliancy1 rapidity1 gayety1 pathos1   
sublimity1 and universality perfection1 

indeed1 behold ,voltaire4  ,even        
,carlyle1 the old ,scotch terrier1 with 
the growl of a grizzly bear1 who        
attacked shams1 as ,i have sometime     
thought1 because he hated rivals1 was   
forced to admit that ,voltaire gave the 
death stab to modern superstition4  ,it 
was the hand of ,voltaire that sowed the
 seeds of liberty in the heart and brain
 of ,franklin1 of ,jefferson1 and of    
,thomas ,paine4  ,toulouse was a favored
 town4  ,it was rich in relics4  ,the   
people were as ignorant as wooden       
images1 but they had in their possession
 the dried bodies of seven apostles--the
 bones of many of the infants slain by  
,herod--part of a dress of the ,virgin  
,mary1 and lots of skulls and skeletons 
of the infallible idiots known as       
saints4  ,in this city the people       
celebrated every year with great joy two
 holy events3  ,the expulsion of the    
,huguenots and the blessed massacre of  
,st4 ,bartholomew4  ,the citizens of    
,toulouse had been educated and         

civilized by the church4  ,a few        
,protestants1 mild because in the       
minority1 lived among these jackals and 
tigers4 ,one of these ,protestants was  
,jean ,calas--a small dealer in dry     
goods4  ,for forty years he had been in 
this business1 and his character was    
without a stain4  ,he was honest1 kind  
and agreeable4  ,he had a wife and six  
children1 four sons and two daughters4  
,one of the sons became a ,catholic4    
,the eldest son1 ,marc ,antoine1        
disliked his father's business and      
studied law4  ,he could not be allowed  
to practice unless he became a          
,catholic4  ,he tried to get his license
 by concealing that he was a            
,protestant4 ,he was discovered--grew   
morose4  ,finally he became discouraged 
and committed suicide by hanging himself
 one evening in his father's store4     
,the bigots of ,toulouse started the    
story that his parents had killed him to
 prevent his becoming a ,catholic4 ,on  
this frightful charge the father1       

mother1 one son1 a servant1 and one     
guest at their house were arrested4 ,the
 dead son was considered a martyr1 the  
church taking possession of the body4   
,this happened in #agfa4  ,there was    
what was called a trial4 ,there was no  
evidence1 not the slightest1 except     
hearsay4  ,all the facts were in favor  
of the accused4  ,the united strength of
 the defendants could not have done the 
deed4  ,jean ,calas was doomed to       
torture and to death upon the wheel4    
,this was on the #ith of ,march1 #agfb1 
and the sentence was to be carried out  
the next day4  ,on the morning of the   
#ajth the father was taken to the       
torture room4  ,the executioner and his 
assistants were sworn on the cross to   
administer the torture according to the 
judgment of the court4 ,they bound him  
by the wrists to an iron ring in the    
stone wall four feet from the ground and
 his feet to another ring in the floor4 
,then they shortened the ropes and      
chains until every joint in his arms and

 legs were dislocated4  ,then he was    
questioned4  ,he declared that he was   
innocent4  ,then the ropes were again   
shortened until life fluttered in the   
torn body2 but he remained firm4  ,this 
was called the question ordinaire4      
,again the magistrate exhorted the      
victim to confess1 and again he refused1
 saying that there was nothing to       
confess4  ,then came the question       
extraordinaire4  ,into the mouth of the 
victim was placed a horn holding three  
pints of water4  ,in this way thirty    
pints of water were forced into the body
 of the sufferer4  ,the pain was beyond 
description1 and yet ,jean ,calas       
remained firm4  ,he was then carried to 
a scaffold in a tumbril4  ,he was bound 
to a wooden cross that lay on the       
scaffold4  ,the executioner then took a 
bar of iron1 broke each leg and arm in  
two places1 striking eleven blows in    
all4  ,he was then left to die if he    
could4  ,he lived for two hours1        
declaring his innocence to the last4    

,he was slow to die and so the          
executioner strangled him4 ,then his    
poor lacerated1 bleeding and broken body
 was chained to a stake and burned4     
,all this was a spectacle--a festival   
for the savages of ,toulouse4  ,what    
would they have done if their hearts had
 not been softened by the glad tidings  
of great joy1 peace on earth and good   
will to men8  ,but this was not all4    
,the property of the family was         
confiscated2 the son was released on    
condition that he become a ,catholic2   
the servant if she would enter a        
convent4  ,the two daughters were       
consigned to a convent and the          
heart-broken widow was allowed to wander
 where she would4  ,voltaire heard of   
this case4  ,in a moment his soul was on
 fire4 ,he took one of the sons under   
his roof4  ,he wrote a history of the   
case4  ,he corresponded with kings and  
queens1 with chancellors and lawyers4   
,if money was needed he advanced it4    
,for years he filled ,europe with the   

echoes of the groans of ,jean ,calas4   
,he succeeded4  ,the horrible judgment  
was annulled--the poor victim declared  
innocent and thousands of dollars raised
 to support the mother and family4      
,this was the work of ,voltaire4        
,sirven1 a ,protestant1 lived in        
,languedoc with his wife and three      
daughters4  ,the housekeeper of the     
bishop wanted to make one of the        
daughters a ,catholic4  ,the law allowed
 the bishop to take the child of        
,protestants from its parents for the   
sake of its soul4 ,the little girl was  
so taken and placed in a convent4  ,she 
ran away and came back to her parents4  
,her poor little body was covered with  
the marks of the convent whip4  ,suffer 
little children to come unto me4  ,the  
child was out of her mind2 suddenly she 
disappeared2 and three days after her   
little body was found in a well1 three  
miles from home4  ,the cry was raised   
that her folks had murdered her to keep 
her from becoming a ,catholic4 ,this    

happened only a little way from the     
christian city of ,toulouse while ,jean 
,calas was in prison4  ,the ,sirvens    
knew that a trial would end in          
conviction4  ,they fled4  ,in their     
absence they were convicted1 their      
property confiscated4  ,the parents     
sentenced to die by the hangman1 the    
daughters to be under the gallows during
 the execution of their mother and then 
to be exiled4  ,the family fled in the  
midst of winter2 the married daughter   
gave birth to a child in the snows of   
the ,alps2 the mother died1 and at last 
the father1 reaching ,switzerland1 found
 himself without the means of support4  
,they went to ,voltaire4  ,he espoused  
their cause4  ,he took care of them1    
gave them the means to live1 and labored
 to annul the sentence that had been    
pronounced against them for nine long   
and weary years4 ,he appealed to kings  
for money1 to ,catherine ,,ii of        
,russia1 and to hundreds of others4  ,he
 was successful4  ,he said of this      

case3--,the ,sirvens were tried and     
condemned in two hours in ,january1     
#agfb1 and now in ,january1 #aggb1 after
 ten years of effort1 they have been    
restored to their rights4  ,this was the
 work of ,voltaire4  ,why should the    
worshipers of ,god hate the lovers of   
men8  ,espenasse was a ,protestant1 of  
good estate4  ,in #agdj he received into
 his house a ,protestant clergyman1 to  
whom he gave supper and lodging4 ,in a  
country where priests repeated the      
parable of the ,good ,samaritan this was
 a crime4  ,for this crime ,espenasse   
was tried1 convicted and sentenced to   
the galleys for life4  ,when he had been
 imprisoned for twenty-three years his  
case came to the knowledge of ,voltaire1
 and he was1 through the efforts of     
,voltaire1 released and restored to his 
family4  ,this was the work of          
,voltaire4  ,there is not time to tell  
of the case of ,gen4 ,lally1 of the     
,english ,gen4 ,byng1 of the niece of   
,corneille1 of the ,jesuit ,adam1 of the

 writers1 dramatists1 actors1 widows and
 orphans for whose benefit he gave his  
influence1 his money and his time4  ,but
 ,i will tell another case3  ,in #agfe  
at the town of ,abbeville an old wooden 
cross on a bridge had been              
mutilated--whittled with a knife--a     
terrible crime4  ,sticks1 when crossing 
each other1 were far more sacred than   
flesh and blood4  ,two young men were   
suspected--the ,chevalier de la ,barre  
and d',ettalonde4 ,d',ettallonde fled to
 ,prussia and enlisted as a common      
soldier4 ,la ,barre remained and stood  
his trial4  ,he was convicted without   
the slightest evidence1 and he and      
d',ettallonde were both sentenced3      
,first1 to endure the torture1 ordinary 
and extraordinary2 second1 to have their
 tongues torn out by the roots with     
pincers of iron2 third1 to have their   
right hands cut off at the door of the  
church2 and fourth1 to be bound to      
stakes by chains of iron and burned to  
death by a slow fire4  ,forgive us our  

trespasses as we forgive those who      
trespass against us4 ,remembering this1 
the judges mitigated the sentence by    
providing that their heads should be cut
 off before their bodies were given to  
the flames4  ,the case was appealed to  
,paris2 heard by a court composed of    
twenty-five judges learned in law1 and  
the judgment was confirmed4  ,the       
sentence was carried out on the #ast day
 of ,july1 #agff4  ,voltaire had fought 
with every weapon that genius could     
devise or use4 ,he was the greatest of  
all caricaturists1 and he used this     
wonderful gift without mercy4  ,for pure
 crystallized wit he had no equal4  ,the
 art of flattery was carried by him to  
the height of an exact science4 ,he knew
 and practiced every subterfuge4  ,he   
fought the army of hypocrisy and        
pretense1 the army of faith and         
falsehood4  ,voltaire was annoyed by the
 meaner and baser spirits of his time1  
by the cringers and crawlers1 by the    
fawners and pretenders1 by those who    

wished to gain the favors of priests1   
the patronage of nobles4  ,sometimes he 
allowed himself to be annoyed by these  
scorpions2 sometimes he attacked them4  
,and1 but for these attacks1 long ago   
they would have been forgotten4 ,in the 
amber of his genius ,voltaire preserved 
these insects1 these tarantulas1 these  
scorpions4  ,it is fashionable to say   
that he was not profound4  ,this is     
because he was not stupid4  ,in the     
presence of absurdity he laughed1 and   
was called irreverent4  ,he thought ,god
 would not damn even a priest forever4  
,this was regarded as blasphemy4  ,he   
endeavored to prevent ,christians from  
murdering each other1 and did what he   
could to civilize the disciples of      
,christ4  ,had he founded a sect1       
obtained control of some country1 and   
burned a few heretics at slow fires1 he 
would have won the admiration1 respect  
and love of the christian world4  ,had  
he only pretended to believe all the    
fables of antiquity1 and had he mumbled 

,latin prayers1 counted beads1 crossed  
himself1 devoured now and then the flesh
 of ,god1 and carried fagots to the feet
 of ,philosophy in the name of ,christ1 
he might have been in heaven this       
moment1 enjoying a sight of the damned4 
,if he had only adopted the creed of his
 time--if he had asserted that a ,god of
 infinite power and mercy had created   
millions and billions of human beings to
 suffer eternal pain1 and all for the   
sake of his glorious justice--that he   
had given his power of attorney to a    
cunning and cruel ,italian pope1        
authorizing him to save the soul of his 
mistress and send honest wives to       
hell--if he had given to the nostrils of
 this ,god the odor of burning          
flesh--the incense of the fagot--if he  
had filled his ears with the shrieks of 
the tortured--the music of the rack1 he 
would now be known as ,st4 ,voltaire4   
,instead of doing these things he       
willfully closed his eyes to the light  
of the gospel1 examined the bible for   

himself1 advocated intellectual liberty1
 struck from the brain the fetters of an
 arrogant faith1 assisted the weak1     
cried out against the torture of man1   
appealed to reason1 endeavored to       
establish universal toleration1 succored
 the indigent1 and defended the         
oppressed4 ,he demonstrated that the    
origin of all religions is the same1 the
 same mysteries--the same miracles--the 
same impostures--the same temples and   
ceremonies--the same kind of founders1  
apostles and dupes--the same promises   
and threats--the same pretense of       
goodness and forgiveness and the        
practice of the same persecution and    
murder4  ,he proved that religion made  
enemies--philosophy1 friends--and that  
above the rites of gods were the rights 
of man4 ,these were his crimes4  ,such a
 man ,god would not suffer to die in    
peace4      ,if allowed to meet death   
with a smile1 others might follow his   
example1 until none would be left to    
light the holy fires of the auto da fe4 

,it would not do for so great1 so       
successful an enemy of the church to die
 without leaving some shriek of fear1   
some shudder of remorse1 some ghastly   
prayer of chattered horror1 uttered by  
lips covered with blood and foam4 ,for  
many centuries the theologians have     
taught that an unbeliever--an           
infidel--one who spoke or wrote against 
their creed1 could not meet death with  
composure2 that in his last moments ,god
 would fill his conscience with the     
serpents of remorse4  ,for a thousand   
years the clergy have manufactured the  
facts to fit this theory--this infamous 
conception of the duty of man and the   
justice of ,god4  ,the theologians have 
insisted that crimes against men were1  
and are1 as nothing compared with crimes
 against ,god4  ,that1 while kings and  
priests did nothing worse than to make  
their fellows wretched1 that so long as 
they only butchered and burnt the       
innocent and helpless1 ,god would       
maintain the strictest neutrality2 but  

when some honest man1 some great and    
tender soul1 expressed a doubt as to the
 truth of the scriptures1 or prayed to  
the wrong god1 or to the right one by   
the wrong name1 then the real ,god      
leaped like a wounded tiger upon his    
victim1 and from his quivering flesh    
tore the wretched soul4  ,there is no   
recorded instance where the uplifted    
hand of murder has been paralyzed--no   
truthful account in all the literature  
of the world of the innocent child being
 shielded by ,god4  ,thousands of crimes
 are being committed ever day--men are  
at this moment lying in wait for their  
human prey--wives are whipped and       
crushed1 driven to insanity and         
death--little children begging for      
mercy1 lifting imploring1 tear-filled   
eyes to the brutal faces of fathers and 
mothers--sweet girls are deceived1 lured
 and outraged1 but ,god has no time to  
prevent these things--no time to defend 
the good and protect the pure4  ,he is  
too busy numbering hairs and watching   

sparrows4  ,he listens for blasphemy2   
looks for persons who laugh at priests2 
examines baptismal registers2 watches   
professors in college who begin to doubt
 the geology of ,moses and the astronomy
 of ,joshua4  ,he does not particularly 
object to stealing1 if you don't swear4 
,a great many persons have fallen dead  
in the act of taking ,god's name in     
vain1 but millions of men1 women and    
children have been stolen from their    
homes and used as beasts of burden1 but 
no one engaged in this infamy has ever  
been touched by the wrathful hand of    
,god4  ,all kinds of criminals1 except  
infidels1 meet death with reasonable    
serenity4  ,as a rule there is nothing  
in the death of a pirate to cast any    
discredit on his profession4  ,the      
murderer upon the scaffold1 with a      
priest on either side1 smilingly exhorts
 the multitude to meet him in heaven4   
,the man who has succeeded in making his
 home a hell meets death without a      
quiver1 provided he has never expressed 

any doubt as to the divinity of ,christ 
or the eternal procession of the ,holy  
,ghost4  ,now and then a man of genius1 
of sense1 of intellectual honesty1 has  
appeared4  ,such men have denounced the 
superstition of their day4  ,they have  
pitied the multitude4  ,to see priests  
devour the substance of the             
people--priests who made begging one of 
the learned professions--filled them    
with loathing and contempt4 ,these men  
were honest enough to tell their        
thoughts1 brave enough to speak the     
truth4  ,then they were denounced1      
tried1 tortured1 killed by rack or      
flame4  ,but some escaped the fury of   
the fiends who loved their enemies and  
died naturally in their beds4  ,it would
 not do for the church to admit that    
they died peacefully4 ,that would show  
that religion was essential at the last 
moment4 ,superstition gets its power    
from the terror of death4  ,it would not
 do to have the common people understand
 that a man could deny the bible1 refuse

 to kiss the cross2 contend that        
humanity was greater than ,christ1 and  
then die as sweetly as ,torquemada did  
after pouring molten lead into the ears 
of an honest man1 or as calmly as       
,calvin after he had burned ,servetus1  
or as peacefully as ,king ,david after  
advising with his last breath one son to
 assassinate another4  ,the church has  
taken great pains to show that the last 
moments of all infidels 7that           
,christians did not succeed in burning7 
were infinitely wretched and despairing4
  ,it was alleged that words could not  
paint the horrors that were endured by a
 dying infidel4 ,every good ,christian  
was expected to1 and generally did1     
believe these accounts4  ,they have been
 told and retold in every pulpit of the 
world4  ,protestant ministers have      
repeated the lies invented by ,catholic 
priests1 and ,catholics1 by a kind of   
theological comity1 have sworn to the   
lies told by the ,protestants4 ,upon    
this point they have always stood       

together1 and will as long as the same  
falsehood can be used by both4  ,upon   
the death-bed subject the clergy grew   
eloquent4  ,when describing the         
shudderings and shrieks of the dying    
unbeliever their eyes glitter with      
delight4  ,it is a festival4 ,they are  
no longer men4 ,they become hyenas4     
,they dig open graves4  ,they devour the
 dead4 ,it is a banquet4  ,unsatisfied  
still1 they paint the terrors of hell4  
,they gaze at the souls of the infidels 
writhing in the coils of the worm that  
never dies4  ,they see them in          
flames--in oceans of fire--in gulfs of  
pain--in abysses of despair4 ,they shout
 with joy4 ,they applaud4  ,it is an    
auto da fe1 presided over by ,god4  ,but
 let us come back to ,voltaire--to the  
dying philosopher4  ,he was an old man  
of #hd4 ,he had been surrounded with the
 comforts1 the luxuries of life4 ,he was
 a man of great wealth1 the richest     
writer that the world had known4  ,among
 the literary men of the earth he stood 

first4 ,he was an intellectual          
monarch--one who had built his own      
throne and had woven the purple of his  
own power4  ,he was a man of genius4    
,the ,catholic ,god had allowed him the 
appearance of success4  ,his last years 
were filled with the intoxication of    
flattery--of almost worship4  ,he stood 
at the summit of his age4 ,the priests  
became anxious4  ,they began to fear    
that ,god would forget1 in a            
multiplicity of business1 to make a     
terrible example of ,voltaire4  ,toward 
the last of ,may1 #aggh1 it was         
whispered in ,paris that ,voltaire was  
dying4  ,upon the fences of expectation 
gathered the unclean birds of           
superstition1 impatiently waiting for   
their prey4  ,two days before his death1
 his nephew went to seek the cure of    
,saint ,surplice and the ,abbe ,gautier1
 and brought them to his uncle's sick   
chamber1 who1 being informed that they  
were there1 said3  ,ah1 well1 give them 
my compliments and my thanks4  ,the abbe

 spoke some words to him1 exhorting him 
to patience4  ,the cure of ,saint       
,surplice then came forward1 having     
announced himself1 and asked of         
,voltaire1 elevating his voice1 if he   
acknowledged the divinity of our ,lord  
,jesus ,christ4  ,the sick man pushed   
one of his hands against the cure's     
coif1 shoving him back1 and cried1      
turning abruptly to the other side3     
,let me die in peace4  ,the cure        
seemingly considered his person soiled  
and his coif dishonored by the touch of 
a philosopher4  ,he made the nurse give 
him a little brushing and went out with 
the ,abbe ,gautier4  ,he expired1 says  
,wagnierre1 on the #cjth of ,may1 #aggh1
 at about a quarter past #aa at night1  
with the most perfect tranquility4  ,a  
few moments before his last breath he   
took the hand of ,morand1 his valet de  
chambee1 who was watching by him1       
pressed it1 and said3  ,adieu1 my dear  
,morand1 ,i am gone4  ,these were his   
last words4  ,like a peaceful river1    

with green and shaded banks1 he flowed  
without a murmur into the waveless sea1 
where life is rest4  ,from this death1  
so simple and serene1 so kind1 so       
philosophic and tender2 so natural and  
peaceful2 from these words so utterly   
destitute of cant or dramatic touch1 all
 the frightful pictures1 all the        
despairing utterances have been drawn   
and made4 ,from these materials1 and    
from these alone1 or rather1 in spite of
 these facts1 have been constructed by  
priests and clergymen and their dupes   
all the shameless lies about the death  
of this great and wonderful man4  ,a    
man1 compared with whom all of his      
calumniators1 dead and living1 were1 and
 are1 but dust and vermin4  ,let us be  
honest4  ,did all the priests of ,rome  
increase the mental wealth of man as    
much as ,bruno8  ,did all the priests of
 ,france do as great a work for the     
civilization of the world as ,voltaire  
or ,diderot8  ,did all the ministers of 
,scotland add as much to the such of    

human knowledge as ,david ,hume8  ,have 
all the clergymen1 monks1 friars1       
ministers1 priests1 bishops1 cardinals  
and popes1 from the day of ,pentecost to
 the last election1 done as much for    
human liberty as ,thomas ,paine8  ,what 
would the world be if infidels had never
 been8  ,the infidels have been the     
brave and thoughtful men2 the flower of 
all the world2 the pioneers and heralds 
of the blessed day of liberty and love2 
the generous spirits of the unworthy    
past2 the seers and prophets of our     
race2 the great chivalric souls1 proud  
victors on the battlefields of thought1 
the creditors of all the years to be4   
,in those days the philosophers--that is
 to say1 the thinkers--were not buried  
in holy ground4  ,it was feared that    
their principles might contaminate the  
ashes of the just4  ,and they also      
feared that on the morning of the       
resurrection they might1 in a moment of 
confusion1 slip into heaven4  ,some were
 burned and their ashes scattered2 and  

the bodies of some were thrown naked to 
beasts1 and others buried in unholy     
earth4  ,voltaire knew the history of   
,adrienne ,le ,couvreur1 a beautiful    
actress1 denied burial4  ,after all1 we 
do feel an interest in what is to become
 of our bodies4  ,there is a modesty    
that belongs to death4 ,upon this       
subject ,voltaire was infinitely        
sensitive4  ,it was that he might be    
buried that he went through the farce of
 confession1 of absolution1 and of the  
last sacrament4  ,the priests knew that 
he was not in earnest1 and ,voltaire    
knew that they would not allow him to be
 buried in any of the cemeteries of     
,paris4  ,his death was kept a secret4  
,the ,abbe ,mignot made arrangements for
 the burial at ,romilli-on-the-,seine1  
more than #ajj miles from ,paris4       
,sunday evening1 on the last day of     
,may1 #aggh1 the body of ,voltaire1 clad
 in a dressing gown1 clothed to resemble
 an invalid1 posed to simulate life1 was
 placed in a carriage2 at its side a    

servant1 whose business it was to keep  
it in position4  ,to this carriage were 
attached six horses1 so that people     
might think a great lord was going to   
his estates4  ,another carriage followed
 in which were a grand-nephew and two   
cousins of ,voltaire4  ,all night they  
traveled1 and on the following day      
arrived at the courtyard of the abbey4  
,the necessary papers were shown1 the   
mass was performed in the presence of   
the body1 and ,voltaire found burial4 ,a
 few moments afterward the prior who for
 charity had given a little earth       
received from his bishop a menacing     
letter forbidding the burial of         
,voltaire4  ,it was too late4  ,he could
 not then be removed1 and he was allowed
 to remain in peace until #agia4        
,voltaire was dead4  ,the foundations of
 ,state and throne had been sapped4 ,the
 people were becoming acquainted with   
the real kings and with the actual      
priests4  ,unknown men born in misery   
and want1 men whose fathers and mothers 

had been pavement for the rich1 were    
rising towards the light and their      
shadowy faces were emerging from        
darkness4 ,labor and thought became     
friends4  ,that is1 the gutter and the  
attic fraternized4 ,the monsters of the 
night and the angels of dawn--the first 
thinking of revenge and the others      
dreaming of equality1 liberty and       
fraternity4 ,for #djj years the         
,bastille had been the outward symbol of
 oppression4 ,within its walls the      
noblest had perished4  ,it was a        
perpetual threat4 ,it was the last and  
often the first argument of king and    
priest4  ,its dungeons1 damp and        
rayless1 its massive towers1 its secret 
cells1 its instruments of torture1      
denied the existence of ,god4 ,in #aghi1
 on the #adth of ,july1 the people1 the 
multitude1 frenzied by suffering1       
stormed and captured the ,bastille4     
,the battlecry was1 ,vive le ,voltaire6 
,in #agia permission was given to place 
in the ,pantheon the ashes of ,voltaire4

  ,he had been buried #aaj miles from   
,paris4  ,buried by stealth he was to be
 removed by a nation4  ,a funeral       
procession of a hundred miles2 every    
village with its flags and arches in his
 honor2 all the people anxious to honor 
the philosopher of ,france--the savior  
of ,calas--the destroyer of             
superstition6  ,on reaching ,paris the  
great procession moved along the ,rue   
,st4 ,antoine4  ,here it paused1 and for
 one night upon the ruins of the        
,bastille rested the body of            
,voltaire--rested in triumph1 in        
glory--rested on fallen wall and broken 
arch1 on crumbling stone still damp with
 tears1 on rusting chain1 and bar and   
useless bolt--above the dungeons dark   
and deep1 where light had faded from the
 lives of men and hope had died in      
breaking hearts4  ,the conqueror resting
 upon the conquered4  ,throned upon the 
,bastille1 the fallen fortress of night1
 the body of ,voltaire1 from whose brain
 had issued the dawn4  ,for a moment his

 ashes must have felt the ,promethean   
fire1 and the old smile must have       
illumined once more the face of the     
dead4  ,while the vast multitude were   
trembling with love and awe1 a priest   
was heard to cry1 ,god shall be avenged6
  ,the grave of ,voltaire was violated4 
,the cry of the priest1 ,god shall be   
avenged6 had borne its fruit4  ,priests1
 skulking in the shadows1 with faces    
sinister as night-ghouls--in the name of
 the gospel1 desecrated the gave4  ,they
 carried away the body of ,voltaire4    
,the tomb was empty4  ,god was avenged6 
,the tomb was empty1 but the world is   
filled with ,voltaire's fame4  ,man has 
conquered6  ,what cardinal1 what bishop1
 what priest raised his voice for the   
rights of men8  ,what ecclesiastic1 what
 nobleman1 took the side of the         
oppressed--of the peasant8  ,who        
denounced the frightful criminal code   
the torture of suspected persons8  ,what
 priest pleaded for the liberty of the  
citizen8  ,what bishop pitied the victim

 of the rack8  ,is there the grave of a 
priest in ,france on which a lover of   
liberty would now drop a flower or a    
tear8  ,is there a tomb holding the     
ashes of a saint from which emerges one 
ray of light8  ,if there be another     
life1 a day of judgment1 no ,god can    
afford to torture in another world a man
 who abolished torture in his4  ,if ,god
 be the keeper of an eternal            
penitentiary1 ,he should not imprison   
there those who broke the chain of      
slavery here4  ,he cannot afford to make
 eternal convicts of ,franklin1 of      
,jefferson1 of ,paine1 of ,voltaire4    
,voltaire was perfectly equipped for his
 work4  ,a perfect master of the ,french
 language1 knowing all its moods1       
tenses1 and declinations1 in fact and in
 feeling1 playing upon it as skillfully1
 as ,paganini on his violin1 finding    
expression for every thought and fancy1 
writing on the most serious subjects    
with the gayety of a harlequin1 plucking
 jests from the mouth of death1 graceful

 as the waving of willows1 dealing in   
double meanings--that covered the asp   
with flowers and flattery1 master of    
satire and compliment1 mingling them    
often in the same line1 always          
interested himself1 therefore           
interesting others1 handling thoughts1  
questions1 subjects1 as a juggler does  
balls1 keeping them in the air with     
perfect ease1 dressing old words in new 
meanings1 charming1 grotesque1 pathetic1
 mingling mirth with tears1 wit with    
wisdom1 and sometimes wickedness1 logic1
 and laughter4  ,with a woman's instinct
 knowing the sensitive nerves--just     
where to touch--hating arrogance of     
place1 the stupidity of the solemn1     
snatching masks from priest and king1   
knowing the springs of action and       
ambition's ends1 perfectly familiar with
 the great world1 the intimate of kings 
and their favorites1 sympathizing with  
the oppressed and imprisoned1 with the  
unfortunate and poor1 hating tyranny1   
despising superstition1 and loving      

liberty with all his heart4  ,such was  
,voltaire1 writing ,edipus at seventeen1
 ,irene at eighty-three1 and crowding   
between these two tragedies1 the        
accomplishment of a thousand lives4     
,ingersoll's ,lecture on ,myth and      
,miracles   ,ladies and ,gentlemen3     
,what1 after all1 is the object of life8
 ,what is the highest possible aim8     
,the highest aim is to accomplish the   
only good4  ,happiness is the only good 
of which man by any possibility can     
conceive4  ,the object of life is to    
increase human joy1 and that means      
intellectual and physical development4  
,the question1 then1 is3  ,shall we rely
 upon superstition or upon growth8  ,is 
intellectual development the highway of 
progress or must we depend on the pit of
 credulity8 ,must we rely on belief or  
credulity1 or upon manly virtues1       
courageous investigation1 thought1 and  
intellectual development8 ,for thousands
 of years men have been talking about   
religious freedom4  ,i am now contending

 for the freedom of religion1 not       
religious freedom--for the freedom which
 is the only real religion4  ,only a few
 years ago our poor ancestors tried to  
account for what they saw4  ,noticing   
the running river1 the shining star1 or 
the painted flower1 they put a spirit in
 the river1 a spirit in the star1 and   
another in the flower4 ,something makes 
this river run1 something makes this    
star shine1 something paints the blossom
 of that flower4  ,they were all        
spirits4  ,that was the first religion  
of mankind--fetichism--and in everything
 that lived1 everything that produced an
 effect upon them1 they said3  ,this is 
a spirit that lives within4  ,that is   
called the lowest phase of religious    
thought1 and yet it is quite the highest
 phase of religious thought4  ,one by   
one these little spirits died4  ,one by 
one nonentities took their places1 and  
last of all we have one infinite fetich 
that takes the place of all others4     
,now1 what makes the river run8  ,we say

 the attraction of gravitation1 and we  
know no more about that than we do about
 this fetich4  ,what makes the tree     
grow8  ,the principle of life--vital    
forces4 ,these are simply phrases1      
simply names of ignorance4 ,nobody knows
 what makes the river run1 what makes   
the trees grow1 why the flowers burst   
and bloom--nobody knows why the stars   
shine1 and probably nobody ever will    
know4  ,there are two horizons that have
 never been passed by man--origin and   
destiny4  ,all human knowledge is       
confined to the diameter of that circle4
  ,all religions rest on supposed facts 
beyond the circumference of the         
absolutely known4  ,what next8  ,the    
next thing that came in the world--the  
next man--was the mythmaker4 ,he gave to
 these little spirits human passions2 he
 clothed ghosts in flesh2 he warmed that
 flesh with blood1 and in that blood he 
put desire--motive4  ,and the myths were
 born1 and were only produced through   
the fact of the impressions that nature 

makes upon the brain of man4  ,they were
 every one a natural production1 and let
 me say here1 tonight1 that what men    
call monstrosities are only natural     
productions4  ,every religion has grown 
just as naturally as the grass2 every   
one1 as ,i said before1 and it cannot be
 said too often1 has been naturally     
produced4  ,all the ,christs1 all the   
gods and goddesses1 all the furies and  
fairies1 all the mingling of the beastly
 and human1 were all produced by the    
impressions of nature upon the brain of 
man--by the rise of the sun1 the silver 
dawn1 the golden sunset1 the birth and  
death of day1 the change of seasons1 the
 lightning1 the storm1 the beautiful    
bow--all these produced within the brain
 of man all myths1 and they are all     
natural productions4  ,there have been  
certain myths universal among men4      
,gardens of ,eden have been absolutely  
universal--the golden age1 which is     
absolutely the same thing4  ,and what   
was the golden age born of8 ,any old man

 in ,boston will tell you that fifty    
years ago all people were honest4       
,fifty years ago all people were        
sociable--there was no stuck-up         
aristocracy then4 ,neighbors were       
neighbors4  ,merchants gave full weight4
  ,everything was full length2          
everything was a yard wide and all wool4
  ,now everybody swindles everybody     
else1 and calls it business4  ,go back  
fifty years and you will find an old man
 who will tell you that there was a time
 when all were honest4  ,go back another
 fifty years and you will find another  
sage who will tell you the same story4  
,every man looks back to his youth1 to  
the golden age1 and what is true of the 
individual is true of the whole human   
race4  ,it has its infancy1 its manhood1
 and1 finally1 will have an old age4    
,the garden of ,eden is not back of us4 
,there are more honest men1 good women1 
and obedient children in the world today
 than ever before4  ,the myth of the    
,elysian fields--universally born of    

sunsets4 ,when the golden clouds in the 
west turned to amethyst1 sapphire1 and  
purple1 the poor savage thought it a    
vision of another land--a land without  
care or grief--a world of perpetual joy4
  ,this myth was born of the setting of 
the sun4  ,a universal myth1 all nations
 have believed in floods4 ,savages found
 everywhere evidences of the sea having 
been above the earth1 and saw in the    
shells souvenirs of the ocean's visit4  
,it had left its cards on the tops of   
mountains4  ,the savage knew nothing of 
the slow rise and sinking of the crust  
of the earth4  ,he did not dream of it4 
,we now know that where the mountains   
lift their granite foreheads to the sun1
 the billows once held sway1 and that   
where the waves dash into white caps of 
joy1 the mountains will stand once more4
 ,everywhere the land is1 the ocean will
 be2 and where the ocean is the land    
will be4 ,the ,hindoos believed in the  
flood myth4 ,their hero1 who lived      
almost entirely on water1 went to the   

,ganges to perform his ablutions1 and1  
taking up a little water in his hand1 he
 saw a small fish that prayed him to    
save it from the monster of the river1  
and it would save him in turn from his  
enemies4  ,he did so1 and put it into   
different receptacles until it grew so  
large that he let it loose in the sea2  
then it was large enough to take care of
 itself4  ,the fish told him that there 
was going to be an immense flood1 and   
told him to gather all kinds of seed and
 take two of each kind of animals of use
 to man1 and he would come along with an
 ark and take them all in4 ,he told him 
to pick out seven saints4  ,and the fish
 towed the ark along tied to its horns1 
and took them in and carried them to the
 top of a mountain1 where he hitched the
 ark to a tree4  ,when the waters       
receded1 they came out and followed them
 down until they reached the plain4     
,there were the same number--eight--in  
this ark as there were with ,noah4  ,i  
find that the myth of the virgin mother 

is universal4  ,the virgin mother is the
 earth4  ,i find also in countries the  
idea of a trinity4 ,in ,egypt ,i find   
,isis1 ,osiris1 and ,horus4  ,this idea 
prevailed in ,central ,america among the
 ,aztecs4  ,we find the myth of the     
judgment almost universal4  ,i imagine  
men have seen so much injustice here    
that they naturally expect that there   
must be some day of final judgment      
somewhere4  ,nearly every theist is     
driven to the necessity of having       
another world in which his god may      
correct the mistakes he has made in     
this4  ,we find on the walls of         
,egyptian temples pictures of the       
judgment2 the righteous all go on the   
right hand1 and those unworthy on the   
left4  ,the myth of the sun god was     
universal4  ,agni was the sun god of the
 ,hindoos4  ,he was called the most     
generous of all gods1 yet he ate his own
 father and mother4  ,baldur was another
 sun god2 he was a sun myth4  ,hercules 
was a sun god1 and so was ,samson4      

,jonah1 too1 was a sun god1 and was     
swallowed by a fish4 ,so was ,hercules1 
and a wonderful thing is that they were 
swallowed in about the same place1 near 
,joppa4  ,where did the big fish go8    
,when the sun went down under the earth1
 it was thought to be followed by the   
fish1 which was said to swallow it1 and 
carry it safely through the under world4
  ,the sun thus came to be represented  
as the body of a woman with the tail of 
a fish1 and so the mermaid was born4    
,another strange thing is that all the  
sun gods were born near ,christmas4     
,the myth of ,red ,riding ,hood1 was    
known among the ,aztecs4  ,the myth of  
eucharist came from the story of ,ceres 
and ,bacchus4 ,when the cakes made by   
the product of the field were eaten1 it 
was the body of ,ceres1 and when the    
wine was drank it was the blood of      
,bacchus4 ,from this idea the eucharist 
was born4  ,there is nothing original in
 christianity4 ,holy water6  ,another   
myth4  ,the ,hindoos imagined that the  

water had its source in the throne of   
,god4 ,the ,egyptians thought the ,nile 
sacred4  ,greece was settled by         
,egyptian colonies1 and they carried    
with them the water of the ,nile1 and   
when any one died the water was         
sprinkled on him4  ,finally ,rome       
conquered ,greece physically1 but       
,greece conquered ,rome intellectually4 
,this is the myth of holy water1 and    
with it grew up the idea of baptism1 and
 ,i presume that that is as old as water
 and dirt4  ,the cross is another       
universal symbol4  ,there was once an   
ancient people in ,italy before the     
,romans1 before the ,etruscans4 ,they   
faded from the world1 and history does  
not even know the name of that nation4  
,we find where they buried the ashes of 
their dead1 and we find chiseled1       
hundreds of years before ,christ1 the   
cross1 a symbol of a hope of another    
life4  ,we find the cross in ,egypt1 in 
the cylinders from ,babylon1 and1 more  
than that1 we find them in ,central     

,america4  ,on the temples of the       
,aztecs we find the cross1 and on it a  
bleeding1 dying god4  ,our cross was    
built in the middle ages4  ,when ,adam  
was very sick he sent ,seth1 his son1 to
 the garden of ,eden4 ,he told him he   
would have no trouble in finding it2 all
 he had to do was to follow the tracks  
made by his mother and father when they 
left it4  ,he wanted a little balsam    
from the tree of life that he might not 
die4  ,seth found there a cherub1 with  
flaming sword1 who would not let him    
pass the door4  ,he moved  his wings so 
that he could see in1 and he saw the    
tree of life1 with its roots running    
down to hell1 and among them ,cain1 the 
murderer4  ,the angel gave ,seth three  
seeds1 and told him to put them in his  
father's mouth when he was buried and to
 watch the effect4  ,the result was that
 these trees grew up--one pine1 one     
cedar1 and on cypress4  ,solomon cut    
down one of these trees to put in the   
temple1 but it grew through the roof and

 he threw it into the pool of ,bethesda4
  ,when the soldiers went for a beam on 
which to crucify ,christ they took this 
tree and made a cross of it4  ,helen1   
the mother of ,constantine1 went to     
,jerusalem to find this cross4  ,she    
found the two crosses1 also1 that the   
thieves were crucified on4  ,they could 
not tell which was which1 so they called
 a sick woman who touched them1 and when
 she touched the right one she was      
immediately made whole4  ,such is myth  
and fable4  ,the history of one religion
 is substantially the history of all    
religions4  ,in embryo man lives all    
lives4  ,the man of genius knows within 
himself the history of the human race2  
he knows the history of all religions4  
,the man of imagination1 genius1 having 
seen a leaf and a drop of water1 can    
construct the forests1 the rivers1 and  
the seas4  ,in his presence all the     
cataracts fall and foam1 the mists rise1
 and the clouds form and float4  ,to    
really know one fact is known its       

kindred and its neighbors4              
,shakespeare1 looking at a coat of mail1
 instantly imagined the society1 the    
conditions that produced it1 and what   
it1 in its turn1 produced4  ,he saw the 
castle1 the moat1 the drawbridge1 the   
lady in the tower1 and the knightly     
lover spurring over the plain4  ,he saw 
the bold baron and the rude retainer1   
the trampled serfs1 and all the glory   
and the grief of feudal life4  ,the man 
of imagination has lived the life of all
 people1 of all races4  ,he has been a  
citizen of ,athens in the days of       
,pericles2 listened to the eager        
eloquence of the great orator1 and has  
sat upon the cliff1 and with the tragic 
poet heard the multitudinous laughter of
 the sea4  ,he has seen ,socrates thrust
 the spear of question through the      
shield and heart of falsehood--was      
present when the great man drank hemlock
 and met the night of death tranquil as 
a star meets morning4  ,he has followed 
the peripatetic philosophers1 and has   

been puzzled by the sophists4  ,he has  
watched ,phidias1 as he chiseled        
shapeless stone to forms of love and    
awe4  ,he has lived by the slow ,nile1  
amid the vast and monstrous4  ,he knows 
the very thought that wrought the form  
and features of the ,sphinx4 ,he has    
heard great ,memnon's morning song1 has 
laid him down with the embalmed dead1   
and felt within their dust the          
expectation of another life1 mingled    
with cold and suffocating doubts--the   
children born of long delay4  ,he has   
walked the ways of mighty ,rome1 has    
seen the great ,caesar with his legions 
in the field1 has stood with vast and   
motley throngs and watched the triumphs 
given to victorious men1 followed by    
uncrowned kings1 the captured hosts and 
all the spoils of ruthless war4 ,he has 
heard the shout that shook the          
,coliseum's roofless walls when from the
 reeling gladiator's hand the short     
sword fell1 while from his bosom gushed 
the stream of wasted life4  ,he has     

lived the life of savage men--has trod  
the forest's silent depths1 and in the  
desperate name of life or death has     
matched his thought against the instinct
 of the beast4 ,he has sat beneath the  
bo tree's contemplative shade1 rapt in  
,buddha's mighty thought1 and he has    
dreamed all dreams that light1 the      
alchemist1 hath wrought from dust and   
dew and stored within the slumbrous     
poppy's subtle blood4  ,he has knelt    
with awe and dread at every prayer2 has 
felt the consolation and the shuddering 
fear2 has seen all the devils2 has      
mocked and worshiped all the gods2      
enjoyed all heavens1 and felt the pangs 
of every hell4  ,he has lived all lives1
 and through his blood and brain have   
crept the shadow and the chill of every 
death1 and his soul1 ,mazeppa-like1 has 
been lashed naked to the wild horse of  
every fear and love and hate4 ,the      
imagination hath a stage within the     
brain1 whereon he sets all scenes that  
lie between the morn of laughter and the

 night of tears1 and where his players  
body forth the false and true1 the joys 
and griefs1 the careless shadows1 and   
the tragic deeps of human life4         
,through with the myth-makers1 we now   
come to the wonder-worker4 ,there is    
this difference between the miracle and 
the myth--a myth is an idealism of a    
fact1 and a miracle is a counterfeit of 
a fact4  ,there is some difference      
between a myth and a miracle4 ,there is 
the difference that there is between    
fiction and falsehood and poetry and    
perjury4 ,miracles are probably only in 
the far past or the very remote future4 
,the present is the property of the     
natural4  ,you say to a man3  ,the dead 
were raised #d1jjj years ago4  ,he says1
 ,well1 that's reasonable4 ,you say to  
him1 ,in #d1jjj1jjj years we shall all  
be raised4 ,he says1 ,that is what ,i   
believe4  ,say to him1 ,a man was raised
 from the dead this morning1 and he will
 say1 ,what are you giving us8          
,miracles never convince at the time    

they were said to have been performed4  
,john the ,baptist was the forerunner of
 ,christ4  ,he was cast into prison4    
,when ,christ heard of it ,he departed  
from that country4 ,afterward he        
returned and heard that ,john had been  
beheaded1 and he again departed from    
that country4  ,there is no possible    
relation between the miraculous and the 
moral4  ,the miracles of the middle ages
 are the children of superstition4  ,in 
the middle ages men told everything but 
the truth1 and believed everything but  
the facts4  ,the middle ages--a trinity 
of ignorance1 mendacity and insanity4   
,there is one thing about humanity4 ,you
 see the faults of others1 but not your 
own4  ,a ,catholic in ,india sees a     
,hindoo bowing before an idol and thinks
 it absurd4  ,why does he not get him a 
plaster of paris virgin and some beads  
and holy water8 ,why does the protestant
 shut his eyes when he prays8 ,the idea 
is a souvenir of sun worship4  ,it is   
the most natural worship in the world4  

,religious dogmas have become absurd4   
,the doctrine of eternal torment today  
has become absurd1 low1 groveling1      
ignorant1 barbaric1 savage1 devilish and
 no gentleman would preach it4          
,science1 thou art the great magician6  
,thou alone performest the true         
miracles4  ,thou alone workest the real 
wonders4  ,fire is thy servant1         
lightning thy messenger4  ,the waves    
obey thee1 and thou knowest the circuits
 of the wind4  ,thou art the great      
philanthropist4  ,thou hast freed the   
slave and civilized the master4  ,thou  
hast taught man to chain1 not his       
fellow-man1 but the forces of           
nature--forces that have no backs to be 
scarred1 no limbs for chains to chill   
and eat--forces that never know fatigue1
 that shed no tears--forces that have no
 hearts to break4 ,thou gavest man the  
plow1 the reaper and the loom--thou hast
 fed and clothed the world4  ,thou art  
the great physician4  ,thy touch hath   
given sight4  ,thou hast made the lame  

to leap1 the dumb to speak1 and in the  
pallid cheek thy hand hath set the rose 
of health4  ,thou hast given thy beloved
 sleep--a sleep that wraps in happy     
dreams the throbbing nerves of pain4    
,thou art the perpetual providence of   
man--preserver of life and love4  ,thou 
art the teacher of every virtue1 and the
 enemy of every vice4 ,thou has         
discovered the true basis of morals--the
 origin and office of conscience--and   
hast revealed the nature and measure of 
obligation4  ,thou hast taught that love
 is justice in its highest form1 and    
that even self-love1 guided by wisdom1  
embraces with loving arms the human     
race4  ,thou hast slain the monsters of 
the past4 ,thou hast discovered the one 
inspired book4  ,thou hast read the     
records of the rocks1 written by wind   
and wave1 by frost and flame--records   
that even priestcraft cannot change--and
 in thy wondrous scales thou hast       
weighed the atoms and the stars4  ,thou 
art the founder of the only true        

religion4  ,thou art the very ,christ1  
the only savior of mankind6  ,theology  
has always been in the way of the       
advance of the human race4 ,there is    
this difference between science and     
theology--science is modest and         
merciful1 while theology is arrogant and
 cruel4  ,the hope of science is the    
perfection of the human race4 ,the hope 
of theology is the salvation of a few   
and the damnation of almost everybody4  
,as ,i told you in the first place1 ,i  
believe in the religion of freedom4  ,o 
liberty6 thou art the god of my         
idolatry4  ,thou art the only deity that
 hates the bended knee4 ,in thy vast and
 unwalled temple1 beneath the roofless  
dome1 star-gemmed and luminous with     
suns1 thy worshipers stand erect4  ,they
 do not bow or cringe or crawl or bend  
their foreheads to the earth4  ,thy dust
 hast never borne the impress of lips1  
upon thy sacred altars mothers do not   
sacrifice their babes1 nor men their    
rights4  ,thou askest naught from man   

except the things that good men hate1   
the whip1 the chain1 the dungeon key4   
,thou hast no kings1 no popes1 no       
priests to stand between their          
fellow-men and thee4  ,thou hast no     
monks1 no nuns1 who1 in the name of     
duty1 murder joy4  ,thou carest not for 
forms nor mumbled prayers4  ,at thy     
sacred shrine hypocrisy does not bow1   
fear does not crouch1 virtue does not   
tremble1 superstition's feeble tapers do
 not burn1 but reason holds aloft her   
inextinguishable torch1 while on the    
ever-broadening brow of science falls   
the ever coming morning of the ever     
better day4      ,ingersoll on ,the     
,chinese ,god   ,messrs4 ,wright1       
,dickey1 ,o',conner and ,murch1 of the  
select committee on the causes of the   
present depression of labor1 presented  
the majority special report upon        
,chinese immigration4  ,these gentlemen 
are in great fear for the future of our 
most holy and perfectly authenticated   
religion1 and have1 like faithful       

watchmen from the walls and towers of   
,zion1 hastened to give the alarm4      
,they have informed ,congress that ,joss
 has his temple of worship in the       
,chinese quarters1 in ,san ,francisco4  
,within the walls of a dilapidated      
structure is exposed to the view of the 
faithful the god of the ,chinaman1 and  
here are his altars of worship4  ,here  
he tears up his pieces of paper2 here he
 offers up his prayers2 here he receives
 his religious consolations1 and here is
 his road to the celestial land4 ,that  
,joss is located in a long1 narrow room1
 in a building in a back alley1 upon a  
kind of altar2 that he is a wooden      
image1 looking as much like an alligator
 as like a human being2  that the       
,chinese think there is such a place as 
heaven2 that all classes of ,chinamen   
worship idols2  that the temple is open 
every day at all hours2  that the       
,chinese have no ,sunday2  that this    
heathen god has huge jaws1 a big red    
tongue1 large white teeth1 a half-dozen 

arms1 and big1 fiery eyeballs4  ,about  
him are placed offerings of meat1 and   
other eatables--a sacrificial offering4 
,no wonder that these members of the    
committee were shocked at such a god1   
knowing as they did that the only true  
,god was correctly described by the     
inspired lunatic of ,patmos in the      
following words3  ,and there sat in the 
midst of the seven golden candlesticks  
one like unto the son of man1 clothed   
with a garment down to the foot1 and    
girt about the paps with a golden       
girdle4  ,his head and his hairs were   
white like wool1 as white as snow2 and  
his eyes were as a flame of fire2 and   
his feet like unto fine brass as if they
 burned in a furnace2 and his voice as  
the sound of many waters4  ,and he had  
in his right hand seven stars2 and out  
of his mouth went a sharp1 two-edged    
sword2 and his countenance was as the   
sun shining in his strength4            
,certainly1 a large mouth1 filled with  
white teeth1 is preferable to one used  

as the scabbard of a sharp1 two-edged   
sword4  ,why should these gentlemen     
object to a god with big fiery eyeballs1
 when their own ,deity has eyes like a  
flame of fire8  ,is it not a little late
 in the day to object to people because 
they sacrifice meat and other eatables  
to their god8  ,we all know that for    
thousands of years the real ,god was    
exceedingly fond of roasted meat2 that  
,he loved the savor of burning flesh1   
and delighted in the perfume of fresh1  
warm blood4  ,the following account of  
the manner in which the living ,god     
desired that ,his people should         
sacrifice tends to show the degradation 
and religious blindness of the          
,chinese--3  ,aaron therefore went unto 
the altar and slew the calf of the      
sin-offering which was for himself4     
,and the sons of ,aaron brought the     
blood unto him4  ,and he dipped his     
fingers in the blood and put it upon the
 horns of the altar1 and poured out the 
blood at the bottom of the altar2 but   

the fat and the kidneys and the caul    
above the liver of the sin-offering he  
burnt upon the altar1 as the ,lord      
commanded ,moses1 and the flesh and the 
hide he burnt with fire without the     
camp4  ,and he slew the burnt offering4 
,and ,aaron's sons presented unto him   
the blood which he sprinkled round about
 the altar4444  ,and he brought the meat
 offering and took a handful thereof and
 burnt upon the altar44444 ,he slew also
 the bullock and the ram for a sacrifice
 of peace offering1 which was for the   
people4  ,and ,aaron's sons presented   
unto him the blood which he sprinkled   
upon the altar1 round about1 and the fat
 of the bullock and of the ram1 the rump
 and that which covereth the inwards1   
and the kidneys1 and the caul above the 
liver1 and they put the fat upon the    
breasts and he burnt the fat upon the   
altar4  ,and the breasts and the right  
shoulder ,aaron waved for a             
wave-offering before the ,lord1 as      
,moses had commanded4  ,if the ,chinese 

only did something like this1 we would  
know that they worshiped the living     
,god4  ,the idea that the supreme head  
of the ,american system of religion can 
be placated with a little meat and      
ordinary eatables1 is simply            
preposterous4  ,he has always asked for 
blood1 and has always asserted that     
without the shedding of blood there is  
no remission of sin4  ,the world is also
 informed by these gentlemen that the   
idolatry of the ,chinese produces a     
demoralizing effect upon our ,american  
youth by bringing sacred things into    
disrespect1 and making religion a theme 
of disgust and contempt4  ,in ,san      
,francisco there are some three hundred 
thousand people4 ,is it possible that a 
few ,chinese can bring our holy religion
 into disgust and contempt8  ,in that   
city there are fifty times as many      
churches as joss-houses4  ,scores of    
sermons are uttered every week2         
religious books and papers are plentiful
 as leaves in autumn1 and somewhat      

dryer2 thousands of bibles are with in  
the reach of all4  ,and there1 too1 is  
the example of a ,christian city4  ,why 
should we send missionaries to ,china if
 we cannot convert the heathen when they
 come here8  ,when missionaries go to a 
foreign land1 the poor1 benighted people
 have to take their word for the        
blessings showered upon a ,christian    
people2 but when the heathen come here1 
they can see for themselves4  ,what was 
simply a story becomes a demonstrated   
fact4  ,they come in contact with people
 who love their enemies4  ,they see that
 in a ,christian land men tell the      
truth2 that they will not take advantage
 of strangers2 that they are just and   
patient2 kind and tender2 and have no   
prejudice on account of color1 race1 or 
religion2 that they look upon mankind as
 brethren2 that they speak of ,god as a 
universal ,father1 and are willing to   
work1 and even to suffer1 for the good1 
not only of their own countrymen1 but of
 the heathen as well4 ,all this the     

,chinese see and know1 and why they     
still cling to the religion of their    
country is to me a matter of amazement4 
,we all know that the disciples of      
,jesus do unto others as they would that
 others should do unto them1 and that   
those of ,confucius do not unto others  
anything that they would not that others
 should do unto them4 ,surely1 such     
peoples ought to live together in       
perfect peace4 ,rising with the subject1
 growing heated with a kind of holy     
indignation1 these ,christian           
representatives of a ,christian people  
most solemnly declare that anyone who is
 really endowed with a correct knowledge
 of our religious system which          
acknowledges the existence of a living  
,god and an accountability to ,him1 and 
a future state of reward and punishment1
 who feels that he has an apology for   
this abominable pagan worship1 is not a 
fit person to be ranked as a good       
citizen of the ,american union4  ,it is 
absurd to make any apology for its      

toleration4  ,it must be abolished1 and 
the sooner the decree goes forth by the 
power of this government1 the better it 
will be for the interests of this land4 
,i take this the earliest opportunity to
 inform these gentlemen composing a     
majority of the committee that we have  
in the ,united ,states no religious     
system2  that this is a secular         
government4 ,that it has no religious   
creed2 that it does not believe nor     
disbelieve in a future state of reward  
and punishment2 that it neither affirms 
nor denies the existence of a living    
,god2  and that the only god1 so far as 
this government is concerned2 is the    
legally expressed will of a majority of 
the people4  ,under our flag the        
,chinese have the same right to worship 
a wooden god that you have to worship   
any other4  ,the constitution protects  
equally the church of ,jehovah and the  
house of ,joss4  ,whatever their        
relative positions may be in heaven1    
they stand upon a perfect equality in   

the ,united ,states4  ,this government  
is an infidel government4  ,we have a   
constitution with man put in and ,god   
left out2 and it is the glory of this   
country that we have such a             
constitution4  ,it may be surprising to 
you that ,i have an apology for pagan   
worship1 yet ,i have4  ,and it is the   
same one that ,i have for the writers of
 this report4  ,i account for both by   
the word superstition4  ,why should we  
object to their worshiping ,god as they 
please8  ,if the worship is improper1   
the protestation should come not from a 
committee of congress1 but from ,god    
himself4  ,if ,he is satisfied1 that is 
sufficient4  ,our religion can only be  
brought into contempt by the actions of 
those who profess to be governed by its 
teachings4  ,this report will do more in
 that direction than millions of        
,chinese could do by burning pieces of  
paper before a wooden image4  ,if you   
wish to impress the ,chinese with the   
value of your religion1 of what you are 

pleased to call the ,american system1   
show them that ,christians are better   
than heathens4 ,prove to them that what 
you are pleased to call the living ,god 
teaches higher and holier things1 a     
grander and purer code of morals1 than  
can be found upon pagan pages4  ,excel  
these wretches in industry1 in honesty1 
in reverence for parents1 in            
cleanliness1 in frugality1 and above all
 by advocating the absolute liberty of  
human thought4  ,do not trample upon    
these people because they have different
 conception of things about which even  
this committee knows nothing4  ,give    
them the same privilege you enjoy of    
making a god after their own fashion1   
and let them describe him as they will4 
,would you be willing to have them      
remain1 if one of their race1 thousands 
of years ago1 had pretended to have seen
 ,god1 and had written of ,him as       
follows3  ,there went up a smoke out of 
his nostrils1 and fire out of his mouth2
 coals were kindled by it4444 and he    

rode upon a cherub and did fly8  ,why   
should you object to these people on    
account of their religion8  ,your       
objection has in it the spirit of hate  
and intolerance4  ,of that spirit the   
inquisition was born4  ,that spirit     
lighted the fagot1 made the thumbscrew1 
put chains upon the limbs1 and lashes   
upon the backs of men4 ,the same spirit 
bought and sold1 captured and kidnapped 
human beings2 sold babes1 and justified 
all the horrors of slavery4  ,congress  
has nothing to do with the religion of  
the people4  ,its members are not       
responsible to ,god for the opinions of 
their constituents1 and it may tend to  
the happiness of the constituents for me
 to state that they are in no way       
responsible for the religion of the     
members4  ,religion is an individual not
 a national matter1 and where the nation
 interferes with the right of           
conscience1 the liberties of the people 
are devoured by the monster1            
superstition4  ,if you wish to drive out

 the ,chinese1 do not make a pretext of 
religion4 ,do not pretend that you are  
trying to do ,god a favor4 ,injustice in
 ,his name is doubly detestable4  ,the  
assassin cannot sanctify his dagger by  
falling on his knees1 and it does not   
help a falsehood if it be uttered as a  
prayer4  ,religion1 used to intensify   
the hatred of men toward men1 under the 
pretense of pleasing ,god1 has cursed   
this world4  ,a portion of this most    
remarkable report is ,intensely         
religious4 ,there is in it almost the   
odor of sanctity2 and when reading it1  
one is impressed with the living piety  
of its authors4  ,but on the            
twenty-fifth page1 there are a few      
passages that must pain the hearts of   
true believers4  ,leaving their         
religious views1 the members immediately
 betake themselves to philosophy and    
prediction4  ,listen3  ,the ,chinese    
race and the ,american citizen1 whether 
native-born or who is eligible to our   
naturalization laws and becomes a       

citizen1 are in a state of antagonism4  
,they cannot1 nor will not1 ever meet   
upon common ground and occupy together  
the same so-called level4  ,this is     
impossible4  ,the pagan and the         
,christian travel different paths4      
,this one believes in a living ,god2    
that one in the type of monsters and    
worship of wood and stone4  ,thus in the
 religion of the two races of men1 they 
are as wide apart as the poles of the   
two hemispheres4  ,they cannot now1 nor 
never sic will1 approach the same       
religious altar4 ,the ,christian will   
not recede to barbarism1 nor will the   
,chinese advance to the enlightened belt
 wherever it is of civilization4444 ,he 
cannot be converted to those modern     
ideas of religious worship which have   
been accepted by ,europe1 and which     
crown the ,american system4  ,christians
 used to believe that through their     
religion all the nations of the earth   
were finally to be blest4  ,in          
accordance with that belief missionaries

 have been sent to every land1 and      
untold wealth has been expended for what
 has been called the spread of the      
gospel4  ,i am almost sure that ,i have 
read somewhere that ,christ died for all
 men1 and that ,god is no respecter     
persons4  ,it was once taught that it   
was the duty of ,christians to tell to  
all people the tidings of great joy4  ,i
 have never believed these things       
myself1 but have always contended that  
an honest merchant was the best         
missionary4  ,commerce makes friends1   
religion makes enemies2 the one         
enriches1 and the other impoverishes2   
the one thrives best where the truth is 
told1 the other where falsehoods are    
believed4  ,for myself1 ,i have but     
little confidence in any business1 or   
enterprise1 or investment1 that promises
 dividends only after the death of the  
stockholders4  ,but ,i am astonished    
that four ,christian statesmen1 four    
members of ,congress in the last quarter
 of the nineteenth century1 who         

seriously object to people on account of
 their religious convictions1 should    
still assert that the very religion in  
which they believe--and the only        
religion established by the living      
,god--head of the ,american system--is  
not adapted to the spiritual needs of   
one-third of the human race4  ,it is    
amazing that these four gentlemen have1 
in the defense of the ,christian        
religion1 announced the discovery that  
it is wholly inadequate for the         
civilization of mankind that the light  
of the cross can never penetrate the    
darkness of ,china2 that all the labors 
of the missionary1 the example of the   
good1 the exalted character of our      
civilization1 make no impression upon   
the pagan life of the ,chinese2 and that
 even the report of this committee will 
not tend to elevate1 refine and         
,christianize the yellow heathen of the 
,pacific ,coast4  ,in the name of       
religion these gentlemen have denied its
 power and mocked at the enthusiasm of  

its founder4 ,worse than this1 they have
 predicted for the ,chinese a future of 
ignorance and idolatry in this world1   
and1 if the ,american system--of        
religion us true1 hellfire in the next4 
,for the benefit of these four          
philosophers and prophets1 ,i will give 
a few extracts from the writings of     
,confucius that will in my judgment1    
compare favorably with the best passages
 of their report3  ,my doctrine is that 
man must be true to the principles of   
his nature1 and the benevolent exercises
 of them toward others4  ,with coarse   
rice to eat1 with water to drink1 and   
with my bended arm for a pillow1 ,i     
still have joy4  ,riches and honor      
acquired by injustice are to me but     
floating clouds4  ,the man who1 in view 
of gain1 thinks of righteousness2 who1  
in view of danger1 forgets life1 and who
 remembers an old agreement1 however far
 back it extends1 such a man may be     
reckoned a complete man4  ,recompense   
injury with justice1 and kindness with  

kindness4  ,there is one ,word which may
 serve as rule of practice for all one's
 life4  ,reciprocity is that word4      
,when the ancestors of the four         
,christian ,congressmen were barbarians1
 when they lived in caves1 gnawed bones1
 and worshiped dried snakes1 the        
infamous ,chinese were reading these    
sublime sentences of ,confucius4 ,when  
the forefathers of these ,christian     
statesmen were hunting toads to get the 
jewels out of their heads to be used as 
charms1 the wretched ,chinese were      
calculating eclipses and measuring the  
circumference of the earth4  ,when the  
progenitors of these representatives of 
the ,american system of religion were   
burning women charged with nursing      
devils1 these people1 incapable of being
 influenced by the exalted character of 
our civilization1 were building asylums 
for the insane4  ,neither should it be  
forgotten that1 for thousands of years1 
the ,chinese have honestly practiced the
 great principle known as civil service 

reform--a something that even the       
administration of ,mr4 ,hayes has       
reached only through the proxy of       
promise4  ,if we wish to prevent the    
immigration of the ,chinese1 let us     
reform our treaties with the vast empire
 from whence they came4 ,for thousands  
of years the ,chinese secluded          
themselves from the rest of the world4  
,they did not deem the ,christian       
nations fit to associate with4  ,we     
forced ourselves upon them4  ,we called1
 not with cards1 but with cannon4  ,the 
,english battered down the door in the  
names of ,opium and ,christ4  ,this     
infamy was regarded as another triumph  
for the gospel4  ,at last1 in           
self-defense1 the ,chinese allowed      
,christians to touch their shores4      
,their wise men1 their philosophers     
protested1 and prophesied that time     
would show that ,christians could not be
 trusted4  ,this report proves that the 
wise men were not only philosophers1 but
 prophets4  ,treat ,china as you would  

,england4  ,keep a treaty while it is in
 force4 ,change it if you will1         
according to the laws of nations1 but on
 no account excuse a breach of national 
faith by pretending that we are         
dishonest for ,god's sake4              
,ingersoll's ,letter1 ,is ,suicide a    
,sin8 7,colonel ,ingersoll's ,first     
,letter7   ,i do not know whether       
self-killing is on the increase or not4 
,if it is1 then there must be1 on the   
average1 more trouble1 more sorrow1 more
 failure1 and1 consequently1 more people
 are driven to despair4  ,in civilized  
life there is a great struggle1 great   
competition1 and many fall4  ,to fail in
 a great city is like being wrecked at  
sea4  ,in the country a man has friends4
  ,he can get a little credit1 a little 
help1 but in the city it is different4  
,the man is lost in the multitude4  ,in 
the roar of the streets his cry is not  
heard4  ,death becomes his only friend4 
,death promises release from want1 from 
hunger and pain1 and so the poor wretch 

lays down his burden1 dashes it from his
 shoulders and falls asleep4  ,to me all
 this seems very natural4  ,the wonder  
is that so many endure and suffer to the
 natural end1 that so many nurse the    
spark of life in huts and prisons1 keep 
it and guard it through years of misery 
and want2 support it by beggary2 by     
eating the crust found in the gutter1   
and to whom it only gives days of       
weariness and nights of fear and dread4 
,why should the man1 sitting amid the   
wreck of all he had1 the loved ones     
dead1 friends lost1 seek to lengthen1 to
 preserve his life8 ,what can the future
 have for him8  ,under many             
circumstances a man has the right to    
kill himself4 ,when life is of no value 
to him1 when he can be of no real       
assistance to others1 why should a man  
continue8  ,when he is of no benefit1   
when he is a burden to those he loves1  
why should he remain8  ,the old idea was
 that ,god made us and placed us here   
for a purpose1 and that it was our duty 

to remain until ,he called us4  ,the    
world is outgrowing this absurdity4     
,what pleasure can it give ,god to see a
 man devoured by a cancer8  ,to see the 
quivering flesh slowly eaten8  ,to see  
the nerves throbbing with pain8  ,is    
this a festival for ,god8  ,why should  
the poor wretch stay and suffer8  ,a    
little morphine would give him          
sleep--the agony would be forgotten and 
he would pass unconsciously from happy  
dreams to painless death4  ,if ,god     
determines all births and deaths1 of    
what use is medicine1 and why should    
doctors defy1 with pills and powders1   
the decrees of ,god8 ,no one1 except a  
few insane1 act now according to this   
childish superstition4  ,why should a   
man1 surrounded by flames1 in the midst 
of a burning building1 from which there 
is no escape1 hesitate to put a bullet  
through his brain or a dagger in his    
heart8  ,would it give ,god pleasure to 
see him burn8  ,when did the man lose   
the right of self-defense8  ,so1 when a 

man has committed some awful crime1 why 
should he stay and ruin his family and  
friends8  ,why should he add to the     
injury8  ,why should he live1 filling   
his days and nights1 and the days and   
nights of others1 with grief and pain1  
with agony and tears8  ,why should a man
 sentenced to imprisonment for life     
hesitate to still his heart8  ,the grave
 is better than the cell4  ,sleep is    
sweeter than the ache of toil4  ,the    
dead have no masters4  ,so the poor     
girl1 betrayed and deserted1 the door of
 home closed against her1 the faces of  
friends averted1 no hand that will help1
 no eye that will soften with pity1 the 
future an abyss filled with monstrous   
shapes of dread and fear1 her mind      
racked by fragments of thoughts like    
clouds broken by storm1 pursued1        
surrounded by the serpents of remorse1  
flying from horrors too great to bear1  
rushes with joy through the welcome door
 of death4  ,undoubtedly there are many 
cases of perfectly justifiable          

suicide--cases in which not to end life 
would be a mistake1 sometimes almost a  
crime4  ,as to the necessity of death1  
each must decide for himself4  ,and if a
 man honestly decides that death is     
best--best for him and others--and acts 
upon the decision1 why should he be     
blamed8  ,certainly the man who kills   
himself is not a physical coward4  ,he  
may have lacked moral courage1 but not  
physical4  ,it may be said that some men
 fight duels because they are afraid to 
decline4 ,they are between two          
fires--the chance of death and the      
certainty of dishonor1 and they take the
 chance of death4  ,so the ,christian   
martyrs were1 according to their belief1
 between two fires--the flames of the   
fagot that could burn but for a few     
moments and the fires of ,god1 that were
 eternal4 ,and they chose the flames of 
the fagot4  ,men who fear death to that 
degree that they will bear all the pains
 and pangs that nerves can feel rather  
than die1 cannot afford to call the     

suicide a coward4  ,it does not seem to 
me that ,brutus was a coward or that    
,seneca was4  ,surely ,anthony had      
nothing left to live for4  ,cato was not
 a craven4  ,he acted on his judgment4  
,so with hundreds of others who felt    
that they had reached the end--that the 
journey was done1 the voyage was over1  
and1 so feeling1 stopped4  ,it seems    
certain that the man who commits        
suicide1 who does the thing that stops  
all other deeds1 that shackles accident 
and bolts up change1 is not lacking in  
physical courage4  ,if men had the      
courage they would not linger in        
prisons1 in almshouses1 in hospitals1   
they would not bear the pangs of        
incurable disease1 the stains of        
dishonor1 they would not live in filth  
and want1 in poverty and hunger1 neither
 would they wear the chain of slavery4  
,all this can be accounted for only by  
the fear of death or of something after4
  ,seneca1 knowing that ,nero intended  
to take his life1 had no fear4 ,he knew 

that he could defeat the ,emperor4  ,he 
knew that at the bottom of every river1 
in the coil of every rope1 on the point 
of every dagger1 ,liberty sat and       
smiled4  ,he knew that it was his own   
fault if he allowed himself to be       
tortured to death by his enemy4  ,he    
said1 ,there is this blessing1 that     
while life has but one entrance1 it has 
exits innumerable1 and as ,i choose the 
house in which ,i live1 the ship in     
which ,i will sail1 so will ,i choose   
the time and manner of my death4 ,to me 
this is not cowardly1 but manly and     
noble4  ,under the ,roman law persons   
found guilty1 of certain offenses were  
not only destroyed1 but their blood was 
polluted1 and their children became     
outcasts4  ,if1 however1 they died      
before conviction1 their children were  
saved4  ,many committed suicide to save 
their babes4  ,certainly they were not  
cowards4  ,although guilty of great     
crimes1 they had enough of honor1 of    
manhood1 left to save their innocent    

children4 ,this was not cowardice4      
,without doubt many suicides are caused 
by insanity4  ,men lose their property4 
,the fear of the future over powers     
them4  ,things lose proportion1 they    
lose poise and balance1 and in a flash1 
a gleam of frenzy1 kill their selves4   
,the disappointed in love1 broken in    
heart--the light fading from their      
lives--seek the refuge of death4 ,those 
who take their lives in painful1        
barbarous ways--who mangle their throats
 with broken glass1 dash themselves from
 towers and roofs1 take poisons that    
torture like the rack--such persons must
 be insane4  ,but those who take the    
facts into account1 who weigh the       
arguments for and against1 and who      
decide that death is best--the only     
good--and then resort to reasonable     
means1 may be1 so far as ,i can see1 in 
full possession of their minds4  ,life  
is not the same to all--to some a       
blessing1 to some a curse1 to some not  
much in any way4  ,some leave it with   

unspeakable regret1 some with the       
keenest joy1 and some with indifference4
  ,religion1 or the decadence of        
religion1 has a bearing upon the number 
of suicides4  ,the fear of ,god1 of     
judgment1 of eternal pain will stay the 
hand1 and people so believing will      
suffer here until relieved by natural   
death4  ,a belief in the eternal agony  
beyond the grave will cause such        
believers to suffer the pangs of this   
life4  ,when there is no fear of the    
future1 when death is believed to be a  
dreamless sleep1 men have less          
hesitation about ending their lives4    
,on the other hand1 orthodox religion   
has driven millions to insanity4  ,it   
has caused parents to murder their      
children and many thousands to destroy  
themselves and others4  ,it seems       
probable that all real1 genuine orthodox
 believers who kill themselves must be  
insane1 and to such a degree that their 
belief is forgotten1 ,god and hell are  
out of their minds4  ,i am satisfied    

that many who commit suicide are insane1
 many are in the twilight or dusk of    
insanity1 and many are perfectly sane4  
,the law we have in this ,state making  
it a crime to attempt suicide is cruel  
and absurd and calculated to increase   
the number of successful suicides4      
,when a man has suffered so much1 when  
he has been so persecuted and pursued by
 disaster that he seeks the rest and    
sleep of death1 why should the ,state   
add to the sufferings of that man8  ,a  
man seeking death1 knowing that he will 
be punished if he fails1 will take extra
 pains and precautions to make death    
certain4  ,this law was born of         
superstition1 passed by thoughtlessness 
and enforced by ignorance and cruelty4  
,when the house of life becomes a       
prison1 when the horizon has shrunk and 
narrowed to a cell1 and when the convict
 longs for the liberty of death1 why    
should the effort to escape be regarded 
as a crime8  ,of course1 ,i regard life 
from a natural point of view4  ,i do not

 take gods1 heavens or hells into       
account4  ,my horizon is the known1 and 
my estimate of life is based upon what  
,i know of life here in this world4     
,people should not suffer for the sake  
of supernatural beings or for other     
worlds or the hopes and fears of some   
future state4  ,our joys1 our sufferings
 and our duties are here4  ,the law of  
,new ,york about the attempt to commit  
suicide and the law as to divorce are   
about equal4 ,both are idiotic4 ,law    
cannot prevent suicide4  ,those who have
 lost all fear of death1 care nothing   
for law and its penalties4  ,death is   
liberty1 absolute and eternal4  ,we     
should remember that nothing happens but
 the natural4  ,back of every suicide   
and every attempt to commit suicide is  
the natural and efficient cause4        
,nothing happens by chance4  ,in this   
world the facts touch each other4       
,there is no space between--no room for 
chance4 ,given a certain heart and      
brain1 certain conditions1 and suicide  

is the necessary result4  ,if we wish to
 prevent suicide we must change         
conditions4  ,we must1 by education1 by 
invention1 by art1 by civilization1 add 
to the value of the average life4  ,we  
must cultivate the brain and heart--do  
away with false pride and false modesty4
  ,we must become generous enough to    
help our fellows without degrading them4
 ,we must make industry useful work of  
all kinds--honorable4  ,we must mingle a
 little affection with our charity--a   
little fellowship4  ,we should allow    
those who have sinned to really reform4 
,we should not think only of what the   
wicked have done1 but we should think of
 what we have wanted to do4  ,people do 
not hate the sick4  ,why should they    
despise the mentally weak--the diseased 
in brain8  ,our actions are the fruit1  
the result1 of circumstances--of        
conditions--and we do as we must4  ,this
 great truth should till the heart with 
pity for the failures of our race4      
,sometimes ,i have wondered that        

,christians denounce the suicide2 that  
in old times they buried him where the  
roads crossed1 and drove a stake through
 his body4  ,they took his property from
 his children and gave it to the ,state4
  ,if ,christians would only think1 they
 would see the orthodox religion rests  
upon suicide--that man was redeemed by  
suicide1 and that without suicide the   
whole world would have been lost4  ,if  
,christ were ,god1 then he had the power
 to protect himself from the ,jews      
without hurting them4  ,but instead of  
using his power he allowed them to take 
his life4  ,if a strong man should allow
 a few little children to hack him to   
death with knives when he could easily  
have brushed them aside1 would we not   
say that he committed suicide8  ,there  
is no escape4  ,if ,christ were1 in     
fact1 ,god and allowed the ,jews to kill
 ,him1 then ,he consented to ,his own   
death--refused1 though perfectly able1  
to defend and protect ,himself1 and was1
 in fact1 a suicide4  ,we cannot reform 

the world by law or by superstition4    
,as long as there shall be pain and     
failure1 want and sorrow1 agony and     
crime1 men and women will untie life's  
knot and seeks the peace of death4  ,to 
the hopelessly imprisoned--to the       
dishonored and despised--to those who   
have failed1 who have no future1 no     
hope--to the abandoned1 the             
broken-hearted1 to those who are only   
remnants and fragments of men and       
women--how consoling1 how enchanting is 
the thought of death6  ,and even to the 
most fortunate death at last is a       
welcome deliverer4 ,death is as natural 
and as merciful as life4  ,when we have 
journeyed long--when we are weary--when 
we wish for the twilight1 for the dusk1 
for the cool kisses of the night--when  
the senses are dull--when the pulse is  
faint and low--when the mists gather on 
the mirror of memory--when the past is  
almost forgotten1 the present hardly    
perceived--when the future has but empty
 hands--death is as welcome as a strain 

of music4  ,after all1 death is not so  
terrible as joyless life4  ,next to     
eternal happiness is to sleep in the    
soft clasp of the cool earth1 disturbed 
by no dream1 by no thought1 by no pain1 
by no fear1 unconscious of all and      
forever4  ,the wonder is that so many   
live1 that in spite of rags and want1 in
 spite of tenement and gutter1 of filth 
and pain1 they limp and stagger and     
crawl beneath their burdens to the      
natural end4  ,the wonder is that so few
 of the miserable are brave enough to   
die--that so many are terrified by the  
something after death--by the specters  
and phantoms of superstition4  ,most    
people are in love with life4  ,how they
 cling to it in the arctic snows--how   
they struggle in the waves and currents 
of the sea--how they linger in          
famine--how they fight disaster and     
despair6  ,on the crumbling edge of     
death they keep the flag flying and go  
down at last full of hope and courage4  
,but many have not such natures4  ,they 

cannot bear defeat4  ,they are          
disheartened by disaster4  ,they lie    
down on the field of conflict and give  
the earth their blood4  ,they are our   
unfortunate brothers and sisters4  ,we  
should not curse or blame--we should    
pity4  ,on their pallid faces our tears 
should fall4  ,one of the best men ,i   
ever knew1 with an affectionate wife1 a 
charming and loving daughter1 committed 
suicide4  ,he was a man of generous     
impulses4  ,his heart was loving and    
tender4  ,he was conscientious1 and so  
sensitive that he blamed himself for    
having done what at the time he thought 
wise and best4  ,he was the victim of   
his virtues4  ,let us be merciful in our
 judgments4  ,all we can say is that the
 good and the bad1 the loving and the   
malignant1 the conscientious and the    
vicious1 the educated and the ignorant1 
actuated by many motives1 urged and     
pushed by circumstances and conditions  
sometimes in the calm of judgment1      
sometimes in passion's storm and stress1

 sometimes in whirl and tempest of      
insanity--raise their hands against     
themselves and desperately put out the  
light of life4  ,those who attempt      
suicide should not be punished4  ,if    
they are insane they should1 if possible
 be restored to reason2 if sane1 they   
should be reasoned with1 calmed and     
assisted4      ,ingersoll's ,letter1    
,the ,right to ,one's ,life ,colonel    
,ingersoll's ,eloquent ,reply to ,his   
,critics   ,in the article written by me
 about suicide the ground was taken that
 under many circumstances a man has the 
right to kill himself4  ,this has been  
attacked with great fury by clergymen1  
editors and the writers of letters4     
,these people contend that the right of 
self-destruction does not and can not   
exist4  ,they insist that life is the   
gift of ,god1 and that ,he only has the 
right to end the days of men2 that it is
 our duty to beat the sorrows that ,he  
sends with grateful patience4  ,some    
have denounced suicide as the worst of  

crimes--worse than the murder of        
another4  ,the first question1 then1 is3
  ,has a man under any circumstances the
 right to kill himself8  ,a man is being
 slowly devoured by a cancer--his agony 
is intense--his suffering all that      
nerves can feel4  ,his life is slowly   
being taken4 ,is this the work of the   
good ,god8  ,did the compassionate ,god 
create the cancer so that it might feed 
on the quivering flesh of this victim8  
,this man1 suffering agonies beyond the 
imagination to conceive1 is of no use to
 himself4  ,his life is but a succession
 of pangs4 ,he is of no use to his wife1
 his children1 his friends or society4  
,day after day he is rendered           
unconscious by drugs that numb the      
nerves and put the brain to sleep4  ,has
 he the right to render himself         
unconscious8  ,is it proper for him to  
take refuge in sleep8  ,if there be a   
good ,god ,i cannot believe that ,he    
takes pleasure in the sufferings of     
men--that ,he gloats over the agonies of

 ,his children4  ,if there be a good    
,god1 ,he will1 to the extent of ,his   
power1 lessen the evils of life4  ,so ,i
 insist that the man being eaten by the 
cancer--a burden to himself and others1 
useless in every way--has the right to  
end his pain and pass through happy     
sleep to dreamless rest4  ,but those who
 have answered me would say to this man3
    ,it is your duty to be devoured4    
,the good ,god wishes you to suffer4    
,your life is the gift of ,god4  ,you   
hold it in trust1 and you have no right 
to end it4 ,the cancer is the creation  
of ,god and it is your duty to furnish  
it with food4  ,take another case3  ,a  
man is on a burning ship2 the crew and  
the rest of the passengers have         
escaped--gone in the lifeboats--and he  
is left alone4  ,in the wide horizon    
there is no sail1 no sign of help4  ,he 
cannot swim4  ,if he leaps into the sea 
he drowns1 if he remains on the ship he 
burns4  ,in any event he can live but a 
few moments4  ,those who have answered  

me1 those who insist that under no      
circumstances a man has the right to    
take his life1 would say to this man on 
the deck1 ,remain where you are4  ,it is
 the desire of your loving1 heavenly    
father that you be clothed in           
flame--that you slowly roast--that your 
eyes be scorched to blindness and that  
you die insane with pain4  ,your life is
 not your own1 only the agony is yours4 
,i would say to this man3  ,do as you   
wish4  ,if you prefer drowning to       
burning1 leap into the sea4  ,between   
inevitable evils you have the right of  
choice4  ,you can help no one1 not even 
,god1 by allowing yourself to be burned1
 and you can injure no one1 not even    
,god1 by choosing the easier death4     
,let us suppose another case4  ,a man   
has been captured by savages in central 
,africa4  ,he is about to be tortured to
 death4  ,his captors are going to      
thrust splinters of pure into his flesh 
and then set them on fire4  ,he watches 
them as they make the preparations4  ,he

 knows what they are about to do and    
what he is about to suffer4  ,there is  
no hope of rescue1 of help4  ,he has a  
vial of poison4  ,he knows that he can  
take it and in one moment pass beyond   
their power1 leaving to them only the   
dead body4  ,is this man under          
obligation to keep his life because ,god
 gave it until the savages by torture   
take it8  ,are the savages the agents of
 the good ,god8  ,are they the servants 
of the infinite8  ,is it the duty of    
this man to allow them to wrap his body 
in a garment of flame8  ,has he no right
 to defend himself8  ,is it the will of 
,god that he die by torture8 ,what would
 any man of ordinary intelligence do in 
a case like this8  ,is there room for   
discussion8  ,if the man took the       
poison1 shortened his life a few        
moments1 escaped the tortures of the    
savages1 is it possible that he would in
 another world be tortured forever by an
 infinite savage8  ,suppose another     
case4  ,in the good old days1 when the  

inquisition flourished1 when men loved  
their enemies and murdered their        
friends1 many frightful and ingenious   
ways were devised to touch the nerves of
 pain4  ,those who loved ,god1 who had  
been born twice1 would take a fellow-man
 who had been convicted of heresy1 lay  
him upon the floor of a dungeon1 secure 
his arms and legs with chains1 fasten   
trim to the earth so that he could not  
move1 put an iron vessel1 the opening   
downward1 on his stomach1 place in the  
vessel several rats1 then tie it        
securely to his body4  ,then these      
worshipers of ,god would wait until the 
rats1 seeking food and liberty1 would   
gnaw through the body of the victim4    
,now1 if a man about to be subjected to 
this torture had within his hand a      
dagger1 would it excite the wrath of the
 good ,god1 if with one quick stroke he 
found the protection of death8  ,to this
 question there can be but one answer4  
,in the cases ,i have supposed it seems 
to me that each person would have the   

right to destroy himself4  ,it does not 
seem possible that the man was under    
obligation to be devoured by a cancer2  
to remain upon the ship and perish in   
flame2 to throw away the poison and be  
tortured to death by savages2 to drop   
the dagger and endure the mercies of the
 church4  ,if1 in the cases ,i have     
supposed1 men would have the right to   
take their lives1 then ,i was right when
 ,i said that under many circumstances a
 man has a right to kill himself4       
,second1 ,i denied that persons who     
killed themselves were physical cowards4
  ,they may lack moral courage2 they may
 exaggerate their misfortunes1 lose the 
sense of proportion1 but the man who    
plunges the dagger in his heart1 who    
sends the bullet through his brain1 who 
leaps from some roof and dashes himself 
against the stones beneath1 is not and  
cannot be a physical coward4  ,the basis
 of cowardice is the fear of injury or  
the fear of death1 and when that fear is
 not only gone1 but in its place is the 

desire to die1 no matter by what means1 
it is impossible that cowardice should  
exist4 ,the suicide wants the very thing
 that a coward fears4  ,he seeks the    
very thing that cowardice endeavors to  
escape4  ,so the man1 forced to a choice
 of evils1 choosing the less is not a   
coward1 but a reasonable man4  ,it must 
be admitted that the suicide is honest  
with himself4  ,he is to bear the       
injury1 if it be one4 ,certainly there  
is no hypocrisy1 and just as certainly  
there is no physical cowardice4  ,is the
 man who takes morphine rather than be  
eaten to death by a cancer a coward8    
,is the man who leaps into the sea      
rather than be burned a coward8 ,is the 
man that takes poison rather than be    
tortured to death by savages or         
,christians a coward8  ,third1 ,i also  
took the position that some suicides    
were sane2 that they acted on their best
 judgment1 and that they were in full   
possession of their minds4  ,now1 if1   
under some circumstances1 a man has the 

right to take his life1 and if1 under   
such circumstances1 he does take his    
life1 then it cannot be said that he was
 insane4  ,most of the persons who have 
tried to answer me have taken the ground
 that suicide is not only a crime1 but  
some of them have said that it is the   
greatest of crimes4  ,now1 if it be a   
crime1 then the suicide must have been  
sane4  ,so all persons who denounce the 
suicide as a criminal admit that he was 
sane4  ,under the law1 an insane person 
is incapable of committing a crime4 ,all
 the clergymen who have answered me1 and
 who have passionately asserted that    
suicide is a crime1 have by that        
assertion admitted that those who killed
 themselves were sane4  ,they agree with
 me1 and not only admit1 but assert that
 some who have committed suicide were   
sane and in the full possession of their
 minds4  ,it seems to me that these     
three propositions have been            
demonstrated to be true3  ,first1 that  
under some circumstances a man has the  

right to take his life2 second1 that the
 man who commits suicide is not a       
physical coward2 and1 third1 that some  
who have committed suicide were at the  
time sane and in full possession of     
their minds4  ,fourth1 ,i insisted1 and 
still insist1 that suicide was and is   
the foundation of the ,christian        
religion4  ,i still insist that if      
,christ were ,god ,he had the power to  
protect ,himself without injuring ,his  
assailants--that having that power it   
was ,his duty to use it1 and that       
failing to use it ,he consented to ,his 
own death and was guilty of suicide4    
,to this the clergy answer that it was  
self-sacrifice for the redemption of    
man1 that ,he made an atonement for the 
sins of believers4 ,these ideas about   
redemption and atonement are born of a  
belief in the  fall of man1 on account  
of the sins of our first parents1 and of
 the declaration that without the       
shedding of blood there is no remission 
of sin4  ,the foundation has crumbled4  

,no intelligent person now believes in  
the fall of man--that our first parents 
were perfect1 and that their descendants
 grew worse and worse1 at least until   
the coming of ,christ4  ,intelligent men
 now believe that ages and ages before  
the dawn of history man was a poor1     
naked1 cruel1 ignorant and degraded     
savage1 whose language consisted of a   
few sounds of terror1 of hatred and     
delight2 that he devoured his           
fellow-man1 having all the vices1 but   
not all the virtues of the beasts2 that 
the journey from the den to the home1   
the palace1 has been long and painful1  
through many centuries of suffering1 of 
cruelty and war2 through many ages of   
discovery1 invention1 self-sacrifice and
 thought4  ,redemption and atonement are
 left without a fact on which to rest4  
,the idea that an infinite ,god1 creator
 of all worlds1 came to this grain of   
sand1 learned the trade of a carpenter1 
discussed with ,pharisees and scribes1  
and allowed a few infuriated ,hebrews to

 put ,him to death that ,he might atone 
for the sins of men and redeem a few    
believers from the consequences of ,his 
own wrath1 can find no lodgment in a    
good and natural brain4  ,in no         
mythology can anything more monstrously 
,unbelievable be found4  ,but if ,christ
 were a man and attacked the religion of
 ,his times because it was cruel and    
absurd2 if ,he endeavored to found a    
religion of kindness1 of good deeds1 to 
take the place of heartlessness and     
ceremony1 and if1 rather than to deny   
what ,he believed to be right and true2 
,he suffered death1 then ,he was a noble
 man--a benefactor of ,his race4  ,but  
if ,he were ,god there was no need of   
this4  ,the ,jews did not wish to kill  
,god4  ,if ,he had only made himself    
known1 all knees would have touched the 
ground4  ,if ,he were ,god it required  
no heroism to die4 ,he knew that what we
 call death is but the opening of the   
gates of eternal life4  ,if ,he were    
,god1 there was no self-sacrifice4  ,he 

had no need to suffer pain4  ,he could  
have changed the crucifixion to a joy4  
,even the editors of religious weeklies 
see that there is no escape from these  
conclusions--from these arguments--and  
so1 instead of attacking the arguments1 
they attack the man who makes them4     
,fifth1 ,i denounced the law of ,new    
,york that makes an attempt to commit   
suicide a crime4  ,it seems to me that  
one who has suffered so much that he    
passionately longs for death should be  
pitied1 instead of punished--helped     
rather than imprisoned4  ,a despairing  
woman who had vainly sought for leave to
 toil1 a woman without home1 without    
friends1 without bread1 with clasped    
hands1 with tear-filled eyes1 with      
broken words of prayer1 in the darkness 
of night leaps from the dock1 hoping1   
longing for the tearless sleep of death4
 ,she is rescued by a kind1 courageous  
man1 handed over to the authorities1    
indicted1 tried1 convicted1 clothed in a
 convict's garb and locked in a felon's 

cell4  ,to me this law seems barbarous  
and absurd1 a law that only savages     
would enforce4  ,sixth1 in this         
discussion a curious thing has happened4
  ,for several centuries the clergy have
 declared that while infidelity is a    
very good thing to live by1 it is a bad 
support1 a wretched consolation1 in the 
hour of death4  ,they have1 in spite of 
the truth1 declared that all the great  
unbelievers died trembling with fear1   
asking ,god for mercy1 surrounded by    
fiends1 in the torments of despair4     
,think of the thousands and thousands of
 clergymen who have described the last  
agonies of ,voltaire1 who died as       
peacefully as a happy child smilingly   
passes from play to slumber2 the final  
anguish of ,hume1 who fell into his last
 sleep as serenely as a river1 running  
between green and shaded banks1 reaches 
the sea2 the despair of ,thomas ,paine1 
one of the bravest1 one of the noblest  
men1 who met the night of death         
untroubled as a star that meets the     

morning4  ,at the same time these       
ministers admitted that the average     
murderer could meet death on the        
scaffold with perfect serenity1 and     
could smilingly ask the people who had  
gathered to see him killed meet him in  
heaven4  ,but the honest man who had    
expressed his honest thoughts against   
the creed of the church in power could  
not die in peace4  ,god would see to it 
that his last moments should be filled  
with the insanity of fear--that with his
 last breath he should utter the shriek 
of remorse1 the cry for pardon4  ,this  
has all changed1 and now the clergy1 in 
their sermons answering me1 declare that
 the atheists1 the free-thinkers1 have  
no fear of death--that to avoid some    
little annoyance1 a passing             
inconvenience1 they gladly and          
cheerfully put out the light of life4   
,it is now said that infidels believe   
that death is the end--that it is a     
dreamless sleep--that it is without     
pain--that therefore they have no fear1 

care nothing for gods or heavens or     
hells1 nothing for the threats of the   
pulpit1 nothing for the day of judgment1
 and that when life becomes a burden    
they carelessly throw it down4  ,the    
infidels are so afraid of death that    
they commit suicide4 ,this certainly is 
a great change1 and ,i congratulate     
myself on having forced the clergy to   
contradict themselves4  ,seventh1 the   
clergy take the position that the       
atheist1 the unbeliever1 has no standard
 of morality--that he can have no real  
conception of right and wrong4  ,they   
are of the opinion that it is impossible
 for one to be moral or good unless he  
believes in some being far above        
himself4  ,in this connection we might  
ask how ,god can be moral or good unless
 he believes in some being superior to  
himself4  ,what is morality8  ,it is the
 best thing to do under the             
circumstances4 ,what is the best thing  
to do under the circumstances8  ,that   
which will increase the sum of human    

happiness--or lessen it the least4      
,happiness1 in its highest1 noblest     
form1 is the only good2 that which      
increases or preserves or creates       
happiness is moral--that which decreases
 it1 or puts it in peril1 is immoral4   
,it is not hard for an atheist--for an  
unbeliever--to keep his hands out of the
 fire4  ,he knows that burning his hands
 will not increase his well-being1 and  
he is moral enough to keep them out of  
the flames4  ,so it may be said that    
each man acts according to his          
intelligence--so far as what he         
considers his own good is concerned4    
,sometimes he is swayed by passion1 by  
prejudice1 by ignorance1 but when he is 
really intelligent1 master of himself1  
he does what he believes is best for    
him4  ,if he is intelligent enough he   
knows that what is really good for him  
is good for others--for all the world4  
,it is impossible for me to see why any 
belief in the supernatural is necessary 
to have a keen perception of right and  

wrong4  ,every man who has the capacity 
to suffer and enjoy1 and has imagination
 enough to give the same capacity to    
others1 has within himself the natural  
basis of all morality4   ,the idea of   
morality was born here1 in this world1  
of the experience1 the intelligence of  
mankind4  ,morality is not of           
supernatural origin4  ,it did not fall  
from the clouds1 and it needs no belief 
in the supernatural1 no supernatural    
promises or threats1 no supernatural    
heavens or hells to give it force and   
life4  ,subjects who are governed by the
 threats and promises of a king are     
merely slaves4 ,they are not governed by
 the ideal1 by noble views of right and 
wrong4 ,they are obedient cowards1      
controlled by fear1 or beggars governed 
by rewards1 by alms4  ,right and wrong  
exist in the nature of things4  ,murder 
was just as criminal before as after the
 promulgation of the ten commandments4  
,eighth1 many of the clergy1 some       
editors and some writers of letters who 

have answered me have said that suicide 
is the worst of crimes1 that a man had  
better murder somebody else than        
himself4  ,one clergyman gives as a     
reason for this statement that the      
suicide dies in an act of sin1 and      
therefore he had better kill another    
person4  ,probably he would commit a    
less crime if he would murder his wife  
or mother4  ,i do not see that it is any
 worse to die than to live in sin4  ,to 
say that it is not as wicked to murder  
another as yourself seems absurd4 ,the  
man about to kill himself wishes to die4
  ,why is it better for him to kill     
another man1 who wishes to live8  ,to my
 mind it seems clear that you had better
 injure yourself than another4  ,better 
be a spendthrift than thief4  ,better   
throw away your own money than steal the
 money of another4  ,better kill        
yourself if you wish to die than murder 
one whose life is full of joy4  ,the    
clergy tell us that ,god is everywhere1 
and that it is one of the greatest      

possible crimes to rush into ,his       
presence4  ,it is wonderful how much    
they know about ,god and how little     
about their fellow-men4 ,wonderful the  
amount of their information about other 
worlds and how limited their knowledge  
is of this4  ,there may or may not be an
 infinite being4  ,i neither affirm nor 
deny4 ,i am honest enough to say that ,i
 do not know4  ,i am candid enough to   
admit that the question is beyond the   
limitations of my mind4  ,yet ,i think  
,i know as much on that subject as any  
human being knows or ever knew1 and that
 is--nothing4  ,i do not say that there 
is not another world1 another life2     
neither do ,i say that there is4  ,i say
 that ,i do not know4  ,it seems to me  
that every sane and honest man must say 
the same4 ,but if there is an infinitely
 good ,god and another world1 then the  
infinitely good ,god will be just as    
good to us in that world as he is in    
this4  ,if this infinitely good ,god    
loves ,his children in this world1 ,he  

will love them in another4  ,if ,he     
loves a man when he is alive1 ,he will  
not hate him the instant he is dead4 ,if
 we are the children of an infinitely   
wise and powerful ,god1 ,he knew exactly
 what we would do--the temptations that 
we could and could not withstand--knew  
exactly the effect that everything would
 have upon us1 knew under what          
circumstances we would take our         
lives--and produced such circumstances  
himself4  ,it is perfectly apparent that
 there are many people incapable by     
nature of bearing the burdens of life1  
incapable or preserving their mental    
poise in stress and strain of disaster1 
disease and loss1 and who by failure1 by
 misfortune and want1 are driven to     
despair and insanity1 in whose darkened 
minds there comes like a flash of       
lightning in the night1 the thought of  
death1 a thought so strong1 so vivid1   
that all fear is lost1 all ties broken1 
all duties1 all obligations1 all hopes  
forgotten1 and naught remains except a  

fierce and wild desire to die4          
,thousands and thousands become moody1  
melancholy1 brood upon loss of money1 of
 position1 of friends1 until reason     
abdicates1 and frenzy takes possession  
of the soul4  ,if there be an infinitely
 wise and powerful ,god1 all this was   
known to ,him from the beginning1 and   
,he so created things1 established      
relations1 put in operation causes and  
effects that all that has happened was  
the necessary result of his own acts4   
,ninth1 nearly all who have tried to    
answer what ,i said have been exceeding 
careful to misquote me1 and then answer 
something that ,i never uttered4  ,they 
have declared that ,i have advised      
people who were in trouble1 somewhat    
annoyed1 to kill themselves2 that ,i    
have told men who have lost their money1
 who had failed in business1 who were   
not good in health1 to kill themselves  
at once1 without taking into            
consideration any duty that they owed to
 wives1 children1 friends1 or society4  

,no man has a right to leave his wife to
 fight the battle alone if he is able to
 help4  ,no man has a right to desert   
his children if he can possibly be of   
use4  ,as long as he can add to the     
comfort of those he loves1 as long as he
 can stand between wife and misery1     
between child and want1 as long as he   
can be of use1 it is his duty to remain4
  ,i believe in the cheerful view1 in   
looking at the sunny side of things1 in 
bearing with fortitude the evils of     
life1 in struggling against adversity1  
in finding the fuel of laughter even in 
disaster1 in having confidence in       
tomorrow1 in finding the pearl of joy   
among the flints and shards1 and in     
changing by the alchemy of patience even
 evil things to good4  ,i believe in the
 gospel of cheerfulness1 of courage and 
good-nature4  ,of the future ,i have no 
fear4  ,my fate is the fate of the      
world1 of all that live4  ,my anxieties 
are about this life1 this world4 ,about 
the phantoms called gods and their      

impossible hells1 ,i have no care1 no   
fear4  ,the existence of ,god ,i neither
 affirm nor deny4  ,i wait4  ,the       
immortality of the soul ,i neither      
affirm nor deny4  ,i hope1 hope for all 
of the children of men4  ,i have never  
denied the existence of another world1  
nor the immortality of the soul4  ,for  
many years ,i have said that the idea of
 immortality1 that like a sea has ebbed 
and flowed in the human heart1 with its 
countless waves of hope and fear beating
 against the shores and rocks of time   
and fate1 was not born of any book1 nor 
of any creed1 nor of any religion4  ,it 
was born of human affection1 and it will
 continue to ebb and flow beneath the   
mists and clouds of doubt and darkness  
as long as love kisses the lips of      
death4  ,what ,i deny is the immortality
 of pain1 the eternity of torture4      
,after all1 the instinct of             
self-preservation is strong4  ,people do
 not kill themselves on the advice of   
friends or enemies4  ,all wish to be    

happy1 to enjoy life2 all wish for food 
and roof and raiment1 for friends1 and  
as long as life gives joy the idea of   
self-destruction never enters the human 
mind4  ,the oppressors1 the tyrants1    
those who trample on the rights of      
others1 the robbers of the poor1 those  
who put wages below the living point1   
the ministers who make people insane by 
preaching the dogma of eternal pain2    
these are the men who drive the weak1   
the suffering and the helpless down to  
death4  ,it will not do to say that ,god
 has appointed a time for each to die4  
,of this there is1 and there can be1 no 
evidence4  ,there is no evidence that   
any god takes any interest in the       
affairs of men--that any sides with the 
right or helps the weak1 protects the   
innocent or rescues the oppressed4      
,even the clergy admit that their ,god1 
through all ages1 has allowed his       
friends1 his worshipers1 to be          
imprisoned1 tortured and murdered by    
,his enemies4  ,such is the protection  

of ,god4  ,billions of prayers have been
 uttered2 has one been answered8  ,who  
sends plague1 pestilence and famine8    
,who bids the earthquake devour and the 
volcano to overwhelm8  ,tenth1 again ,i 
say that it is wonderful to me that so  
many men1 so many women endure and carry
 their burdens to the natural end2 that 
so many1 in spite of age1 ache and      
penury1 guard with trembling hands the  
spark of life2 that prisoners for life  
toil and suffer to the last2 that the   
helpless wretches in poor-houses and    
asylums cling to life2 that the exiles  
in ,siberia1 loaded with chains1 scarred
 with the knout1 live on2 that the      
incurables1 whose every breath is a     
pang1 and for whom the future has only  
pain1 should fear the merciful touch and
 clasp of death4  ,it is but a few steps
 at most from the cradle to the grave2 a
 short journey4  ,the suicide hastens1  
shortens the path1 loses the afternoon1 
the twilight1 the dusk of life's day2   
loses what he does not want1 what he    

cannot bear4  ,in the tempest of        
despair1 in the blind fury of madness or
 in the calm of thought and choice the  
beleaguered soul finds the serenity of  
death4  ,let us leave the dead where    
nature leaves them4  ,we know nothing of
 any realm that lies beyond the horizon 
of the known1 beyond the end of life4   
,let us be honest with ourselves and    
others4 ,let us pity the suffering1 the 
despairing1 the men and women hunted and
 pursued by grief and shame1 by misery  
and want1 by chance and fate until their
 only friend is death4