,,lectures ,,of ,,col4 ,r4 ,g4          
,,ingersoll      ,including ,his        
,answers ,to ,the ,clergy1   ,his       
,oration ,at ,his ,brother's ,grave1    
,etc41 ,etc4    ,complete ,in ,two      
,volumes   ,volume ,i      ,,contents   
,gods      ,ghosts      ,hell           
,individuality      ,humboldt           
,which ,way      ,the ,great ,infidels  
,talmagian ,theology      ,at a ,child's
 ,grave      ,ingersoll's ,oration at   
,his ,brother's ,grave      ,mistakes of
 ,moses      ,skulls and ,replies       
,what ,shall ,we ,do ,to ,be ,saved8    
,ingersoll's ,answer ,to ,prof4 ,swing1 
,dr4 ,thomas1 ,and ,others              
,,ingersoll',s ,,lecture ,,on ,,gods    
,ladies and ,gentlemen3 ,an honest god  
is the noblest work of man4 ,each nation
 has created a god1 and the god has     
always resembled his creators4 ,he hated
 and loved what they hated and loved1   
and he was invariably found on the side 
of those in power4  ,each god was       
intensely patriotic1 and detested all   

nations but his own4  ,all these ,gods  
demanded praise1 flattery1 and worship4 
,most of them were pleased with         
sacrifice1 and the smell of innocent    
blood has ever been considered a divine 
perfume4 ,all these gods have insisted  
upon having a vast number of priests1   
and the priests have always insisted    
upon being supported by the people1 and 
the principal business of these priests 
has been to boast about their ,god1 and 
to insist that he could easily vanquish 
all the other gods put together4  ,these
 gods have been manufactured after      
numberless models1 and according to the 
most grotesque fashions4  ,some have a  
thousand arms1 some a hundred heads1    
some are adorned with necklaces of      
living snakes1 some are armed with      
clubs1 some with sword and shield1 some 
with bucklers1 and some with wings as a 
cherub2 some were invisible1 some would 
show themselves entire1 and some would  
only show their backs2 some were        
jealous1 some were foolish1 some turned 

themselves into men1 some into swans1   
some into bulls1 some into doves1 and   
some into holy ghosts1 and made love to 
the beautiful daughters of men4  ,some  
were married--all ought to have         
been--and some were considered as old   
bachelors from all eternity4  ,some had 
children1 and the children were turned  
into gods and worshiped as their fathers
 had been4  ,most of these gods were    
revengeful1 savage1 lustful1 and        
ignorant2 as they generally depended    
upon their priests for information1     
their ignorance can hardly excite our   
astonishment4  ,these gods did not even 
know the shape of the worlds they had   
created1 but supposed them perfectly    
flat4  ,some thought the day could be   
lengthened by stopping the sun1 that the
 blowing of horns could throw down the  
walls of a city1 and all knew so little 
of the real nature of the people they   
had created1 that they commanded the    
people to love them4  ,some were so     
ignorant as to suppose that man could   

believe just as he might desire1 or as  
might command1 and to be governed by    
observation1 reason1 and experience was 
a most foul and damning sin4 ,none of   
these gods could give a true account of 
the creation of this little earth4  ,all
 were woefully deficient in geology and 
astronomy4 ,as a rule1 they were most   
miserable legislators1 and as           
executives1 they were far inferior to   
the average of ,american presidents4    
,the deities have demanded the most     
abject and degrading obedience4 ,in     
order to please them1 man must lay his  
very face in the dust4 ,of course1 they 
have always been partial to the people  
who created them1 and they have         
generally shown their partiality by     
assisting those people to rob and       
destroy others1 and to ravish their     
wives and daughters4  ,nothing is so    
pleasing to these gods as the butchery  
of unbelievers4  ,nothing so enrages    
them1 even now as to have some one deny 
their existence4  ,few nations have been

 so poor as to have but one god4  ,gods 
were made so easily1 and the raw        
material cost so little1 that generally 
the god market was fairly glutted1 and  
heaven crammed with these phantoms4     
,these gods not only attended to the    
skies1 but were supposed to interfere in
 all the affairs of men4  ,they presided
 over everybody and everything4  ,they  
attended to every department4 ,all was  
supposed to be under their immediate    
control4  ,nothing was too              
small--nothing too large2 the falling of
 sparrows and the motions of planets    
were alike attended to by these         
industrious and observing deities4      
,from their starry thrones they         
frequently came to the earth for the    
purpose of imparting information to man4
  ,it is related of one that he came    
amid thunderings and lightnings in order
 to tell the people they should not cook
 a kid in its mother's milk4  ,some left
 their shining abode to tell women that 
they should1 or should not1 have        

children1 to inform a priest how to cut 
and wear his apron1 and to give         
directions as to the proper manner for  
cleaning the intestines of a bird4      
,when the people failed to worship one  
of these gods1 or failed to feed and    
clothe his priests1 7which was much the 
same thing17 he generally visited them  
with pestilence and famine4  ,sometimes 
he allowed some other nation to drag    
them into slavery--to sell their wives  
and children2 but generally he glutted  
his vengeance by murdering their first  
born4  ,the priests always did their    
whole duty1 not only in predicting these
 calamities1 but in proving1 when they  
did happen1 that they were brought upon 
the people because they had not given   
quite enough to them4  ,these gods      
differed just as the nations differed2  
the greatest and most powerful had the  
most powerful gods1 while the weaker    
ones were obliged to content themselves 
with the very off-scourings of the      
heavens4  ,each of these gods promised  

happiness here and hereafter to all his 
slaves1 and threatened to eternally     
punish all who either disbelieved in his
 existence or suspected that some other 
,god might be his superior2 but to deny 
the existence of all gods was1 and is1  
the crime of crimes4 ,redden your hands 
with human blood2 blast by slander the  
fair fame of the innocent2 strangle the 
smiling child upon its mother's knees2  
deceive1 ruin and desert the beautiful  
girl who loves and trusts you1 and your 
case is not hopeless4  ,for all this1   
and for all these1 you may be forgiven4 
,for all this1 and for all these1 that  
bankrupt court established by the       
gospel1 will give you a discharge2 but  
deny the existence of these divine      
ghosts1 of these gods1 and the sweet and
 tearful face of ,mercy becomes livid   
with eternal hate4  ,heaven's golden    
gates are shut1 and you1 with an        
infinite curse ringing in your ears1    
with the brand of infamy upon your brow1
 commence your endless wanderings in the

 lurid gloom of hell--an immortal       
vagrant--an eternal outcast--a deathless
 convict4  ,one of these gods1 and one  
who demands our love1 our admiration and
 our worship1 and one who is worshiped1 
if mere heartless ceremony is worship1  
gave to his chosen people for their     
guidance the following laws of war3     
,when thou comest nigh unto a city to   
fight against it1 then proclaim peace   
unto it4  ,and it shall be if it make   
thee answer of peace1 and open unto     
thee1 then it shall be that all the     
people that is found therein shall be   
tributaries unto thee1 and they shall   
serve thee4 ,and if it will make no     
peace with thee1 but will make war      
against thee1 then thou shalt besiege   
it4 ,and when the ,lord thy ,god hath   
delivered it into thine hands1 thou     
shalt smite every male thereof with the 
edge of the sword4  ,but the women and  
the little ones1 and the cattle1 and all
 that is in the city1 even all the spoil
 thereof1 shalt thou take unto thyself1 

and thou shalt eat the spoil of thine   
enemies which the ,lord thy ,god hath   
given thee4  ,thus shalt thou do unto   
all the cities which are very far off   
from thee1 which are not of the cities  
of these nations4  ,but of the cities of
 these people which the ,lord thy ,god  
doth give thee for an inheritance1 thou 
shall save alive nothing that breatheth4
  ,is it possible for man to conceive of
 anything more perfectly infamous8 ,can 
you believe that such directions were   
given by any except an infinite fiend8  
,remember that the army receiving these 
instructions was one of invasion4       
,peace was offered on condition that the
 people submitting should be the slaves 
of the invader2 but if any should have  
the courage to defend their home1 to    
fight for the love of wife and child1   
then the sword was to spare none--not   
even the prattling1 dimpled babe4  ,and 
we are called upon to worship such a    
god2 to get upon our knees and tell him 
that he is good1 that he is merciful1   

that he is just1 that he is love4  ,we  
are asked to stifle every noble         
sentiment of the soul1 and to trample   
under foot all the sweet charities of   
the heart4  ,because we refuse to       
stultify ourselves--refuse to become    
liars--we are denounced1 hated1 traduced
 and ostracized here1 and this same god 
threatens to torment us in eternal fire 
the moment death allows him to fiercely 
clutch our naked helpless souls4  ,let  
the people hate1 let the god            
threaten--we will educate them1 and we  
will despise and defy him4  ,the book1  
called the bible1 is filled with        
passages equally horrible1 unjust and   
atrocious4  ,this is the book to read in
 schools in order to make our children  
loving1 kind and gentle6  ,this is the  
book recognized in our ,constitution as 
the source of authority and justice6    
,strange that no one has ever been      
persecuted by the ,church for believing 
,god bad1 while hundreds of millions    
have been destroyed for thinking him    

good4  ,the orthodox church never will  
forgive the ,universalist for saying    
,god is love4   ,it has always been     
considered as one of the very highest   
evidence of true and undefiled religion 
to insist that all men1 women and       
children deserve eternal damnation4  ,it
 has always been heresy to say1 ,god    
will at last save all4  ,we are asked to
 justify these frightful passages1 these
 infamous laws of war1 because the bible
 is the word of ,god4  ,as a matter of  
fact1 there never was1 and there never  
can be1 an argument1 even tending to    
prove the inspiration of any book       
whatever4  ,in the absence of positive  
evidence1 analogy and experience1       
argument is simply impossible1 and at   
the very best1 can amount only to a     
useless agitation of the air4  ,the     
instant we admit that a book is too     
sacred to be doubted1 or even reasoned  
about1 we are mental serfs4  ,it is     
infinitely absurd to suppose that a god 
would address a communication to        

intelligent beings1 and yet make it a   
crime1 to be punished in eternal flames 
for them to use their intelligence for  
the purpose of understanding his        
communication4  ,if we have the right to
 use our reason1 we certainly have the  
right to act in accordance with it1 and 
no god can have the right to punish us  
for such action4  ,the doctrine that    
future happiness depends upon belief is 
monstrous4 ,it is the infamy of         
infamies4  ,the notion that faith in    
,christ is to be rewarded by an eternity
 of bliss1 while a dependence upon      
reason1 observation1 and experience     
merits everlasting pain1 is too absurd  
for refutation1 and can be relieved only
 by that unhappy mixture of insanity and
 ignorance1 called faith4  ,what man1   
who ever thinks1 can believe that blood 
can appease ,god8  ,and yet1 our entire 
system of religion is based upon that   
belief4  ,the ,jews pacified ,jehovah   
with the blood of animals1 and according
 to the ,christian system1 the blood of 

,jesus softened the heart of ,god a     
little1 and rendered possible the       
salvation of a fortunate few4 ,it is    
hard to conceive how the human mind can 
give assent to such terrible ideas1 or  
how any sane man can read the bible and 
still believe in the doctrine of        
inspiration4  ,whether the bible is true
 or false1 is of no consequence in      
comparison with the mental freedom of   
the race4  ,salvation through slavery is
 worthless4  ,salvation from slavery is 
inestimable4  ,as long as man believes  
the bible to be infallible1 that is his 
master4 ,the civilization of this       
century is not the child of faith1 but  
of unbelief--the result of free thought4
  ,all that is necessary1 as it seems to
 me1 to convince any reasonable person  
that the bible is simply and purely of  
human invention--of barbarian           
invention--is to read it4  ,read it as  
you would any other book2 think of it as
 you would any other2 get the bandage of
 reverence from your eyes2 drive from   

your heart the phantom of fear2 push    
from the throne of your brain the cowled
 form of superstition--then read the    
holy bible1 and you will be amazed that 
you ever1 for one moment1 supposed a    
being of infinite wisdom1 goodness and  
purity to be the author of such         
ignorance and of such atrocity4  ,our   
ancestors not only had their            
,god-factories1 but they made devils as 
well4  ,these devils were generally     
disgraced and fallen gods4 ,some had    
headed unsuccessful revolts2 some had   
been caught sweetly reclining in the    
shadowy folds of some fleecy clouds1    
kissing the wife of the ,god of gods4   
,these devils generally sympathized with
 man4  ,there is in regard to them a    
most wonderful fact3 ,in nearly all the 
theologies1 mythologic and religious1   
the devils have been much more humane   
and merciful than the gods4  ,no devil  
ever gave one of his generals an order  
to kill children and to rip open the    
bodies of pregnant women4  ,such        

barbarities were always ordered by the  
good gods4  ,the pestilences were sent  
by the most merciful gods4  ,the        
frightful famine1 during which the dying
 child with pallid lips sucked the      
withered bosom of a dead mother1 was    
sent by the loving gods4  ,no devil was 
ever charged with such fiendish         
brutality4  ,one of these gods1         
according to the account1 drowned an    
entire world1 with the exception of     
eight persons4  ,the old1 the young1 the
 beautiful and the helpless were        
remorselessly devoured by the shoreless 
sea4 ,this1 the most fearful tragedy    
that the imagination of ignorant priests
 ever conceived1 was the act not of a   
devil1 but of ,god so-called1 whom men  
ignorantly worship unto this day4  ,what
 a stain such an act would leave upon   
the character of a devil6  ,one of the  
prophets of one of these gods1 having in
 his power a captured king1 hewed him in
 pieces in the sight of all the people4 
,was ever any imp of any devil guilty of

 such savagery8  ,one of these gods is  
reported to have given the following    
directions concerning human slavery3    
,if thou buy a ,hebrew servant six years
 shall he serve1 and in the seventh he  
shall go out free for nothing4 ,if he   
came in by himself1 he shall go out by  
himself2 if he were married1 then his   
wife shall go out with him4  ,if his    
master have given him a wife1 and she   
have borne him sons or daughters1 the   
wife and her children shall be her      
master's1 and he shall go out by        
himself4  ,and if the servant shall     
plainly say1 ,i love my master1 my wife 
and my children2 ,i will not go out     
free2 then his master shall bring him   
unto the judges3 he shall also bring him
 unto the door1 or unto the doorpost2   
and his ,master shall bore his ear with 
an awl2 and he shall serve him forever4 
,according to this1 a man was given     
liberty upon condition that he would    
desert forever his wife and children4   
,did any devil ever force upon a        

husband1 upon a father1 so cruel and so 
heartless an alternative8  ,who can     
worship such a god8  ,who can bend the  
knee to such a monster8  ,who can pray  
to such a fiend8  ,all these gods       
threatened to torment forever the souls 
of their enemies4 ,did any devil ever   
make so infamous a threat8  ,the basest 
thing recorded of the devil1 is what he 
did concerning job and his family1 and  
that was done by the express permission 
of one of these gods and to decide a    
little difference of opinion between    
their serene highnesses as to the       
character of my servant ,job4  ,the     
first account we have of the devil is   
found in that purely scientific book    
called ,genesis1 and is as follows3 ,now
 the serpent was more subtle than any   
beast of the field which the ,lord ,god 
had made1 and he said unto the woman1   
,yea1 hath ,god said1 ye shall not eat  
of the fruit of the trees of the garden8
  ,and the woman said unto the serpent4 
,we may eat of the fruit of the trees of

 the garden2 but of the fruit of the    
tree which is in the midst of the garden
 ,god hath said1  ,ye shall not eat of  
it1 neither shall ye touch it1 lest ye  
die4  ,and the serpent said unto the    
woman1 ,ye shall not surely die4  ,for  
,god doth know that in the day ye eat   
thereof1 then your eyes shall be opened 
and ye shall be as gods1 knowing good   
and evil4  ,and when the woman saw that 
the tree was good for food1 and that it 
was pleasant to the eyes1 and a tree to 
be desired to make one wise1 she took of
 the fruit thereof and did eat1 and gave
 also unto her husband with her1 and he 
did eat444444 ,and the ,lord ,god said1 
,behold the man has become as one of us1
 to know good and evil2 and now1 lest he
 put forth his hand1 and take also of   
the tree of life and eat1 and live      
forever4  ,therefore the ,lord ,god sent
 him forth from the garden of ,eden to  
till the ground from which he was taken4
  ,so he drove out the man1 and he      
placed at the east of the garden of     

,eden cherubims and a flaming sword1    
which turned every way to keep the way  
of the tree of life4  ,according to this
 account the promise of the devil was   
fulfilled to the very letter4  ,adam and
 ,eve did not die1 and they did become  
as gods1 knowing good and evil4   ,the  
account shows1 however1 that the gods   
dreaded education and knowledge then    
just as they do now4 ,the church still  
faithfully guards the dangerous tree of 
knowledge1 and has exerted in all ages  
her utmost power to keep mankind from   
eating the fruit thereof4  ,the priests 
have never ceased repeating the old     
falsehood and the old threat3 ,ye shall 
not eat of it1 neither shall ye touch   
it1 lest ye die4  ,from every pulpit    
comes the same cry1 born of the same    
fear ,lest they eat and become as gods1 
knowing good and evil4  ,for this       
reason1 religion hates science1 faith   
detests reason1 theology is the sworn   
enemy of philosophy1 and the church with
 its flaming sword still guards the     

hated tree1 and like its supposed       
founder1 curses to the lowest depths the
 brave thinkers who eat and become as   
gods4  ,if the account given in ,genesis
 is really true1 ought we not1 after    
all1 to thank this serpent8  ,he was the
 first schoolmaster1 the first advocate 
of learning1 the first enemy of         
ignorance1 the first to whisper in human
 ears the sacred word liberty1 the      
creator of ambition1 the author of      
modesty1 of inquiry1 of doubt1 of       
investigation1 of progress and of       
civilization4  ,give me the storm and   
tempest of thought and action1 rather   
than the dead calm of ignorance and     
faith4  ,banish me from ,eden when you  
will2 but first let me eat of the fruit 
of the tree of knowledge6   ,some       
nations have borrowed their gods2 of    
this number1 we are compelled to say1 is
 our own4   ,the ,jews having ceased to 
exist as a nation1 and having no further
 use for a god1 our ancestors           
appropriated him and adopted their devil

 at the same time4  ,this borrowed god  
is still an object of some adoration1   
and this adopted devil still excites the
 apprehensions of our people4 ,he is    
still supposed to be setting his traps  
and snares for the purpose of catching  
our unwary souls1 and is still1 with    
reasonable success1 waging the old war  
against our god4  ,to me1 it seems easy 
to account for these ideas concerning   
gods and devils4  ,they are a perfectly 
natural production4  ,man has created   
them all1 and under the same            
circumstances will create them again4   
,man has not only created all these     
gods1 but he has created them out of the
 materials by which he has been         
surrounded4 ,generally he has modeled   
them after himself1 and has given them  
hands1 heads1 feet1 eyes1 ears1 and     
organs of speech4  ,each nation made its
 gods and devils speak its language not 
only1 but put in their mouths the same  
mistakes in history1 geography1         
astronomy1 and in all matters of fact1  

generally made by the people4  ,no god  
was ever in advance of the nation that  
created him4  ,the negroes represented  
their deities with black skins and curly
 hair4 ,the ,mongolian gave to his a    
yellow complexion and dark almond-shaped
 eyes4 ,the ,jews were not allowed to   
paint theirs1 or we should have seen    
,jehovah with a full beard1 an oval     
face1 and an aquiline nose4 ,zeus was a 
perfect ,greek and ,jove looked as      
though a member of the ,roman senate4   
,the gods of ,egypt had the patient face
 and placid look of the loving people   
who made them4  ,the gods of northern   
countries were represented warmly clad  
in robes of fur2 those of the tropics   
were naked4  ,the gods of ,india were   
often mounted upon elephants1 those of  
some islanders were great swimmers1 and 
the deities of the ,arctic zone were    
passionately fond of whale's blubber4   
,nearly all people have carved or       
painted representations of their gods1  
and these representations were1 by the  

lower classes generally treated as the  
real gods1 and to these images and idols
 they addressed prayers and offered     
sacrifice4  ,in some countries1 even at 
this day1 if the people after long      
praying do not obtain their desires1    
they turn their images off as impotent  
gods1 or upbraid them in a most         
reproachful manner1 loading them with   
blows and curses4  ',how now1 dog of a  
spirit1' they say1  'we give you lodging
 in a magnificent temple1 we gild you   
with gold1 feed you with the choicest   
food1 and offer incense to you2 yet1    
after all this care1 you are so         
ungrateful as to refuse us what we ask4'
  ,hereupon they will pull the god down 
and drag him through the filth of the   
street4  ,if1 in the meantime1 it       
happens that they obtain their request1 
then with a great deal of ceremony1 they
 wash him clean1 carry him back and     
place him in his temple again1 where    
they fall down and make excuses for what
 they have done4  ',of a truth1' they   

say1  'we were a little too hasty1 and  
you were a little too long in your      
grant4  ,why should you bring this      
beating on yourself4  ,but what is done 
cannot be undone4'   ,let us not think  
of it any more4  ,if you will forget    
what is past1 we will gild you over     
brighter again than before4  ,man has   
never been at a loss for gods4  ,he has 
worshiped almost everything1 including  
the vilest and most disgusting beasts4  
,he has worshiped fire1 earth1 air1     
water1 light1 stars1 and for hundreds of
 ages1 prostrated himself before        
enormous snakes4 ,savage tribes often   
make gods of articles they get from     
civilized people4  ,the ,todas worship a
 cow-bell4  ,the ,kotas worship two     
silver plates1 which they regard as     
husband and wife1 and another tribe     
manufactured a god out of a king of     
hearts4  ,man1 having always been the   
physical superior of woman1 accounts for
 the fact that most of the high gods    
have been males4  ,had woman been the   

physical superior1 the powers supposed  
to be the ruler of ,nature would have   
been woman1 and instead of being        
represented in the apparel of man1 they 
would have luxuriated in trains1 low    
necked dresses1 laces and back-hair4    
,nothing can be plainer than that each  
nation gives to its god its peculiar    
characteristics1 and that every         
individual gives to his ,god his        
personal peculiarities4  ,man has no    
ideas1 and can have none1 except those  
suggested by his surroundings4  ,he     
cannot conceive of anything utterly     
unlike what he has seen or felt4  ,he   
can exaggerate1 diminish1 combine1      
separate1 deform1 beautify1 improve1    
multiply and compare what he sees1 what 
he feels1 what he hears1 and all of     
which he takes cognizance through the   
medium of the senses2 but he cannot     
create4  ,having seen exhibitions of    
power1 he can say1 omnipotent4  ,having 
lived1 he can say1 immortality4 ,knowing
 something of time1 he can say1         

eternity4 ,conceiving something of      
intelligence1 he can say ,god4  ,having 
seen exhibitions of malice1 he can say1 
devil4  ,a few gleams of happiness      
having fallen athwart the gloom of his  
life1 he can say1 heaven4 ,pain1 in its 
numberless forms1 having been           
experienced1 he can say1 hell4  ,yet all
 these ideas have a foundation in fact1 
and only a foundation4  ,the            
superstructure has been reared by       
exaggerating1 diminishing1 combining1   
separating1 deforming1 beautifying1     
improving or multiplying realities1 so  
that the edifice or fabric is but the   
incongruous grouping of what man has    
perceived through the medium of the     
senses4  ,it is as though we should give
 to a lion the wings of an eagle1 the   
hoofs of a bison1 the tail of a horse1  
the pouch of a kangaroo1 and the trunk  
of an elephant4  ,we have in imagination
 created an impossible monster4  ,and   
yet the various parts of this monster   
really exist4  ,so it is with all the   

gods that man has made4  ,beyond nature 
man cannot go even in thought--above    
nature he cannot rise--below nature he  
cannot fall4  ,man1 in his ignorance1   
supposed that all phenomena were        
produced by some intelligent powers1 and
 with direct reference to him4  ,to     
preserve friendly relations with these  
powers was1 and still is1 the object of 
all religions4  ,man knelt through fear 
and to implore assistance1 or through   
gratitude for some favor which he       
supposed had been rendered4 ,he         
endeavored by supplication to appease   
some being who1 for some reason1 had1 as
 he believed become enraged4 ,the       
lightning and thunder terrified him4    
,in the presence of the volcano he sank 
upon his knees4 ,the great forests      
filled with wild and ferocious beasts1  
the monstrous serpents crawling in      
mysterious depths1 the boundless sea1   
the flaming comets1 the sinister        
eclipses1 the awful calmness of the     
stars1 and more than all1 the perpetual 

presence of death1 convinced him that he
 was the sport and prey of unseen and   
malignant powers4  ,the strange and     
frightful diseases to which he was      
subject1 the freezings and burnings of  
fever1 the contortions of epilepsy1 the 
sudden palsies1 the darkness of night1  
and the wild1 terrible and fantastic    
dreams that filled his brain1 satisfied 
him that he was haunted and pursued by  
countless spirits of evil4  ,for some   
reason he supposed that these spirits   
differed in power--that they were not   
all alike malevolent--that the higher   
controlled the lower1 and that his very 
existence depended upon gaining the     
assistance of the more powerful4  ,for  
this purpose he resorted to prayer1 to  
flattery1 to worship and to sacrifice4  
,these ideas appear to have been almost 
universal in savage man4  ,for ages all 
nations supposed that the sick and      
insane were possessed by evil spirits4  
,for thousands of years the practice of 
medicine consisted in frightening these 

spirits away4  ,usually the priests     
would make the loudest and most         
discordant noises possible4  ,they would
 blow horns1 beat upon rude drums1 clash
 cymbals1 and in the meantime utter the 
most unearthly yells4  ,if the          
noise-remedy failed1 they would implore 
the aid of some more powerful spirit4   
,to pacify these spirits was considered 
of infinite importance4 ,the poor       
barbarian1 knowing that men could be    
softened by gifts1 gave to these spirits
 that which to him seemed of the most   
value4 ,with bursting heart he would    
offer the blood of his dearest child4   
,it was impossible for him to conceive  
of a god utterly unlike himself1 and he 
naturally supposed that these powers of 
the air would be affected a little at   
the sight of so great and so deep a     
sorrow4  ,it was with the barbarian then
 as with the civilized now--one class   
lived upon and made merchandise of the  
fears of another4 ,certain persons took 
it upon themselves to appease the gods1 

and to instruct the people in their     
duties to these unseen powers4 ,this was
 the origin of the priesthood4  ,the    
priest pretended to stand between the   
wrath of the gods and the helplessness  
of man4  ,he was man's attorney at the  
court of heaven4  ,he carried to the    
invisible world a flag of truce1 a      
protest and a request4 ,he came back    
with a command1 with authority and with 
power4  ,man fell upon his knees before 
his own servant1 and the priest1 taking 
advantage of the awe inspired by his    
supposed influence with the gods1 made  
of his fellow-man a cringing hypocrite  
and slave4  ,even ,christ1 the supposed 
son of ,god1 taught that persons were   
possessed of evil spirits1 and          
frequently1 according to the account1   
gave proof of his divine origin and     
mission by frightening droves of devils 
out of his unfortunate countrymen4      
,casting out devils was his principal   
employment1 and the devils thus banished
 generally took occasion to acknowledge 

him as the true ,messiah2 which was not 
only very kind of them1 but quite       
fortunate for him4  ,the religious      
people have always regarded the         
testimony of these devils as perfectly  
conclusive1 and the writers of the ,new 
,testament quote the words of these imps
 of darkness with great satisfaction4   
,the fact that ,christ could withstand  
the temptations of the devil was        
considered as conclusive evidence that  
he was assisted by some god1 or at least
 by some being superior to man4  ,st4   
,matthew gives an account of an attempt 
made by the devil to tempt the supposed 
son of ,god2 and it has always excited  
the wonder of ,christians that the      
temptation was so nobly and heroically  
withstood4  ,the account to which ,i    
refer is as follows3  ,then was ,jesus  
led up of the spirit into the wilderness
 to be tempted of the devil4  ,and when 
the tempter came to him1 he said3 ',if  
thou be the son of ,god command that    
these stones be made bread4' ,but he    

answered1 and said  ',it is written3 man
 shall not live by bread alone1 but by  
every word that proceedeth out of the   
mouth of ,god4'  ,then the devil taketh 
him up into the holy city and setteth   
him upon a pinnacle of the temple and   
saith unto him3 ',if thou be the son of 
,god1 cast thyself down1 for it is      
written4  ,he shall give his angels     
charge concerning thee1 lest at any time
 thou shalt dash thy foot against a     
stone4'  ,jesus said unto him  ',it is  
written again1 thou shalt not tempt the 
,lord thy ,god4'  ,again the devil      
taketh him up into an exceeding high    
mountain and showeth him all the        
kingdoms of the world and the glory of  
them1 and saith unto him ',all these    
will ,i give thee if thou wilt fall down
 and worship me4'  ,the ,christians now 
claim that ,jesus was ,god4  ,if he was 
,god1 of course the devil knew that     
fact1 and yet1 according to this        
account1 the devil took the omnipotent  
,god and placed him upon a pinnacle of  

the temple1 and endeavored to induce him
 to dash himself against the earth4     
,failing in that1 he took the creator1  
owner and governor of the universe up   
into an exceeding high mountain1 and    
offered him this world--this grain of   
sand--if he1 the ,god of all the worlds1
 would fall down and worship him1 a poor
 devil1 without even a tax title to one 
foot of dirt6  ,is it possible the devil
 was such an idiot8  ,should any great  
credit be given to this deity for not   
being caught with such chaff8  ,think of
 it6  ,the devil--the prince of         
sharpers--the king of cunning--the      
master of finesse1 trying to bribe ,god 
with a grain of sand that belonged to   
,god6  ,is there in ail the religious   
literature of the world any thing more  
grossly absurd than this8  ,these       
devils1 according to the bible1 were    
various kinds--some could speak and     
hear1 others were deaf and dumb4  ,all  
could not be cast out in the same way4  
,the deaf and dumb spirits were quite   

difficult to deal with4  ,st4 ,mark     
tells of a gentleman who brought his son
 to ,christ4  ,the boy1 it seems1 was   
possessed of a dumb spirit1 over which  
the disciples had no control4  ,jesus   
said unto the spirit3 ',thou dumb and   
deaf spirit4  ,i charge thee come out of
 him1 and enter no more into him4'      
,whereupon1 the deaf spirit having heard
 what was said1 cried out 7being dumb7  
and immediately vacated the premises4   
,the ease with which ,christ controlled 
this deaf and dumb spirit excited the   
wonder of his disciples1 and they asked 
him privately why they could not cast   
that spirit out4  ,to whom he replied3  
,this kind can come forth by nothing but
 prayer and fasting4  ,is there a       
,christian in the whole world who would 
believe such a story if found in any    
other book8  ,the trouble is1 these     
pious people shut up their reason1 and  
then open their bible4  ,in the olden   
times the existence of devils was       
universally admitted4 ,the people had no

 doubt upon that subject1 and from such 
belief it followed as a matter of       
course1 that a person1 in order to      
vanquish these devils1 had either to be 
a god1 or to be assisted by one4 ,all   
founders of religions have established  
their claims to divine origin by        
controlling evil spirits--and suspending
 the laws of nature4  ,casting out      
devils was a certificate of divinity4   
,a prophet1 unable to cope with the     
powers of darkness1 was regarded with   
contempt4  ,the utterance of the highest
 and noblest sentiments1 the most       
blameless and holy life1 commanded but  
little respect1 unless accompanied by   
power to work miracles and command      
spirits4  ,this belief in good and evil 
powers had its origin in the fact that  
man was surrounded by what he was       
pleased to call good and evil phenomena4
 ,phenomena affecting man pleasantly    
were ascribed to good spirits1 while    
those affecting him unpleasantly or     
injuriously1 were ascribed to evil      

spirits4  ,it being admitted that all   
phenomena were produced by spirits1 the 
spirits were divided according to the   
phenomena1 and the phenomena were good  
or bad as they affected man4 ,good      
spirits were supposed to be the authors 
of good phenomena1 and evil spirits of  
the evil--so that the idea of a devil   
has been as universal as the idea of a  
god4  ,many writers maintain that an    
idea to become universal must be true2  
that all universal ideas are innate1 and
 that innate ideas cannot be false4  ,if
 the fact that an idea has been         
universal proves that it is innate1 and 
if the fact that an idea is innate      
proves that it is correct1 then the     
believer in innate ideas must admit that
 the evidence of a god superior to      
nature1 and of a devil superior to      
nature1 is exactly the same1 and that   
the existence of such a devil must be as
 self-evident as the existence of such a
 god4  ,the truth is1 a god was inferred
 from good1 and a devil from bad1       

phenomena4  ,and it is just as natural  
and logical to suppose that a devil     
would cause happiness as to suppose that
 a god would produce misery4            
,consequently1 if an intelligence1      
infinite and supreme1 is the immediate  
author of all phenomena1 it is difficult
 to determine whether such intelligence 
is the friend or enemy of man4 ,if      
phenomena were all good1 we might say   
they were all produced by a perfectly   
beneficent being4  ,if they were all    
bad1 we1 might say they were produced by
 a perfectly malevolent power2 but as   
phenomena are1 as they affect man1 both 
good and bad1 they must be produced by  
different and antagonistic spirits2 by  
one who is sometimes actuated by        
kindness1 and sometimes by malice2 or   
all must be produced of necessity1 and  
without reference to their consequences 
upon man4  ,the foolish doctrine that   
all phenomena can be traced to the      
interference of good and evil spirits1  
has been1 and still is1 almost          

universal4  ,that most people still     
believe in some spirit that can change  
the natural order of events1 is proven  
by the fact that nearly all resort to   
prayer4  ,thousands1 at this very       
moment1 are probably imploring some     
supposed power to interfere in their    
behalf4  ,some want health restored2    
some ask that the loved and absent be   
watched over and protected1 some pray   
for riches1 some for rain1 some want    
diseases stayed1 some vainly ask for    
food1 some ask for revivals1 a few ask  
for more wisdom1 and now and then one   
tells the ,lord to do as he thinks best4
 ,thousands ask to be protected from the
 devil2 some1 like ,david1 pray for     
revenge1 and some implore1 even ,god1   
not to lead them into temptation4  ,all 
these prayers rest upon1 and are        
produced by the idea that some power not
 only can1 but probably will1 change the
 order of the universe4  ,this belief   
has been among the great majority of    
tribes and nations4  ,all sacred books  

are filled with the accounts of such    
interferences1 and our own bible is no  
exception to this rule4  ,if we believe 
in a power superior to nature1 it is    
perfectly natural to suppose that such  
power can and will interfere in the     
affairs of this world4  ,if there is no 
interference1 of what practical use can 
such power be8  ,the scriptures give us 
the most wonderful accounts of divine   
interference3 ,animals talk like men2   
springs gurgle from dry bones2 the sun  
and moon stop in the heavens in order   
that ,general ,joshua may have more time
 to murder2 the shadow on a dial goes   
back ten degrees to convince a petty    
king of a barbarous people that he is   
not going to die of a boil2 fire refused
 to burn2 water positively declined to  
seek its level1 but stands up like a    
wall2 grains of sand become lice2 common
 walking-sticks1 to gratify a mere      
freak1 twist themselves into serpents1  
and then swallow each other by way of   
exercise2 murmuring streams1 laughing at

 the attraction of gravitation1 run up  
hill for years1 following wandering     
tribes from a pure love of frolic2      
prophecy becomes altogether easier than 
history2 the sons of ,god become        
enamored of the world's girls2 women are
 changed into salt for the purpose of   
keeping a great event fresh in the minds
 of man2 an excellent article of        
brimstone is imported from heaven free  
of duty2 clothes refuse to wear out for 
forty years1 birds keep restaurants and 
feed wandering prophets free of expense2
 bears tear children in pieces for      
laughing at old men without wigs2       
muscular development depends upon the   
length of one's hair2 dead people come  
to life1 simply to get a joke on their  
enemies and heirs2 witches and wizards  
converse freely with the souls of the   
departed1 and ,god himself becomes a    
stone-cutter and engraver1 after having 
been a tailor and dressmaker4  ,the veil
 between heaven and earth was always    
rent or lifted4  ,the shadows of this   

world1 the radiance of heaven1 and the  
glare of hell mixed and mingled until   
man became uncertain as to which country
 he really inhabited4  ,man dwelt in an 
unreal world4  ,he mistook his ideas1   
his dream1 for real things4  ,his fears 
became terrible and malicious monsters4 
,he lived in the midst of furies and    
fairies1 nymphs and naiads1 goblins and 
ghosts1 witches and wizards1 sprites and
 spooks1 deities and devils4  ,the      
obscure and gloomy depths were filled   
with claw and wing--with beak and       
hoof--with leering look and sneering    
mouths--with the malice of              
deformity--with the cunning of hatred1  
and with all the slimy forms that fear  
can draw and paint upon the shadowy     
canvas of the dark4  ,it is enough to   
make one almost insane with pity to     
think what man in the long night has    
suffered3 of the tortures he has        
endured1 surrounded1 as he supposed1 by 
malignant powers and clutched by the    
fierce phantoms of the air4  ,no wonder 

that he fell upon his trembling         
knees--that he built altars and reddened
 them even with his own blood4 ,no      
wonder that he implored ignorant priests
 and impudent magicians for aid4  ,no   
wonder that he crawled groveling in the 
dust to the temple's door1 and there1 in
 the insanity of despair1 besought the  
deaf gods to hear his bitter cry of     
agony and fear4  ,the savage as he      
emerges from a state of barbarism1      
gradually loses faith in his idols of   
wood and stone1 and in their place puts 
a multitude of spirits4  ,as he advances
 in knowledge1 he generally discards the
 petty spirits1 and in their stead      
believes in one1 whom he supposes to be 
infinite and supreme4  ,supposing this  
great spirit to be superior to nature1  
he offers worship or flattery in        
exchange for assistance4  ,at last1     
finding that he obtains no aid from this
 supposed deity--finding that every     
search after the absolute must of       
necessity end in failure--finding that  

man cannot by any possibility conceive  
of the conditionless--he begins to      
investigate the facts by which he is    
surrounded1 and to depend upon himself4 
,the people are beginning to think1 to  
reason and to investigate4 ,slowly1     
painfully1 but surely1 the gods are     
being driven from the earth4  ,only upon
 rare occasions are they1 even by the   
most religious1 supposed to interfere in
 the affairs of men4  ,in most matters  
we are at last supposed to be free4     
,since the invention of steamships and  
railways1 so that the products of all   
countries can be easily interchanged1   
the gods have quit the business of      
producing famine4  ,now and then they   
kill a child because it is idolized by  
its parents4  ,as a rule they have given
 up causing accidents on railroads1     
exploding boilers1 and bursting kerosene
 lamps4  ,cholera1 yellow fever1 and    
smallpox are still considered heavenly  
weapons2 but measles1 itch and ague are 
now attributed to natural causes4  ,as a

 general thing1 the gods have stopped   
drowning children1 except as a          
punishment for violating the ,sabbath4  
,they still pay some attention to the   
affairs of kings1 men of genius and     
persons of great wealth3 but ordinary   
people are left to shift for themselves 
as best they may4  ,in wars between     
great nations1 the gods still interfere2
 but in prize fights1 the best man with 
an honest referee1 is almost sure to    
win4  ,the church cannot abandon the    
idea of special providence4  ,to give up
 that doctrine is to give up all4  ,the 
church must insist that prayer is       
answered--that some power superior to   
nature hears and grants the request of  
the sincere and humble ,christian1 and  
that this same power in some mysterious 
way provides for all4  ,a devout        
,clergyman sought every opportunity to  
impress upon the mind of his son the    
fact1 that ,god takes care of all his   
creatures2 that the falling sparrow     
attracts his attentions1 and that his   

loving kindness is over all his works4  
,happening1 one day1 to see a crane     
wading in quest of food1 the good man   
pointed out to his son the perfect      
adaptation of the crane to get his      
living in that manner4  ,see1 said he1  
how his legs are formed for wading6     
,what a long slender bill he has6       
,observe how nicely he folds his feet   
when putting them in or drawing them out
 of the water6  ,he does not cause the  
slightest ripple4 ,he is thus enabled to
 approach the fish without giving them  
any notice of his arrival4 ,my son1 said
 he1 it is impossible to look at that   
bird without recognizing the design1 as 
well as the goodness of ,god1 in thus   
providing the means of subsistence4     
,yes replied the boy1 ,i think ,i see   
the goodness of ,god1 at least so far as
 the crane is concerned3 but after all1 
father1 don't you think the arrangement 
a little tough on the fish8  ,even the  
advanced religionist1 although          
disbelieving in any great amount of     

interference by the gods in this age of 
the world1 still thinks that in the     
beginning some god made the laws        
governing the universe4  ,he believes   
that in consequence of these laws a man 
can lift a greater weight with than     
without a lever2 that this god so made  
matter1 and so established the order of 
things1 that--two bodies cannot occupy  
the same space at the same time2 so that
 a body once put in motion will keep    
moving until it is stopped2 so that it  
is a greater distance around than across
 a circle2 so that a perfect square has 
four equal sides1 instead of five or    
seven4 ,he insists that it took a direct
 interposition of providence to make the
 whole greater than a part1 and that had
 it not been for this power superior to 
nature1 twice one might have been more  
than twice two1 and sticks and strings  
might have had only one end apiece4     
,like the old ,scotch divine1 he thanks 
,god that ,sunday comes at the end      
instead of in the middle of the week1   

and that death comes at the close       
instead of at the commencement of life1 
thereby giving us time to prepare for   
that holy day and that most solemn      
event4 ,these religious people see      
nothing but design everywhere1 and      
personal1 intelligent interference in   
everything4  ,they insist that the      
universe has been created1 and that the 
adaptation of means to ends is perfectly
 apparent4 ,they point us to the        
sunshine1 to the flowers1 to the ,april 
rain1 and to all there is of beauty and 
of use in the world4  ,did it ever occur
 to them that a cancer is as beautiful  
in its development as is the reddest    
rose8  ,that what they are pleased to   
call the adaptation of means to ends1 is
 as apparent in the cancer as in the    
,april rain8  ,how beautiful the process
 of digestion6  ,by what ingenious      
methods the blood is poisoned so that   
the cancer shall have food6  ,by what   
wonderful contrivances the entire system
 of man is made to pay tribute to this  

divine and charming cancer6  ,see by    
what admirable instrumentalities it     
feeds itself from the surrounding1      
quivering1 dainty flesh6   ,see how it  
gradually but surely expands and grows6 
,by what marvelous mechanism it is      
supplied with long and slender roots    
that reach out to the most secret nerves
 of pain for sustenance and life6  ,what
 beautiful colors it presents6  ,seen   
through the microscope it is a miracle  
of order and beauty4  ,all the ingenuity
 of man cannot stop its growth4  ,think 
of the amount of thought it must have   
required to invent a way by which the   
life of one man might be given to       
produce one cancer8  ,is it possible to 
look upon it and doubt that there is    
design in the universe1 and that the    
inventor of this wonderful cancer must  
be infinitely powerful1 ingenious and   
good8  ,we are told that the universe   
was designed and created1 and that it is
 absurd to suppose that matter has      
existed from eternity1 but that it is   

perfectly self-evident that a god has4  
,if a god created the universe1 then    
there must have been a time when he     
commenced to create4  ,back of that time
 there must have been an eternity1      
during which there had existed          
nothing--absolutely nothing--except this
 supposed god4  ,according to this      
theory1 this god spent an eternity1 so  
to speak1 in an infinite vacuum1 and in 
perfect idleness4  ,admitting that a god
 did create the universe1 the question  
then arises1 of what did he create it8  
,it certainly was not made of nothing4  
,nothing1 considered in the light of a  
raw material1 is a most decided failure4
  ,it follows1 then1 that a god must    
have made the universe out of himself1  
he being the only existence4 ,the       
universe is material1 and if it was made
 of god1 the god must have been         
material4  ,with this very thought in   
his mind1 ,anaximander of ,miletus said3
 ,creation is the decomposition of the  
infinite4  ,it has been demonstrated    

that the earth would fall to the sun1   
only for the fact that it is attracted  
by other worlds1 and those worlds must  
be attracted by other worlds still      
beyond them1 and so on1 without end4    
,this proves the material universe to be
 infinite4  ,if an infinite universe has
 been made out of an infinite god1 how  
much of the god is left8  ,the idea of a
 creative deity is gradually being      
abandoned1 and nearly all truly         
scientific minds admit that matter must 
have existed from eternity4  ,it is     
indestructible1 and the indestructible  
cannot be created4  ,it is the crowning 
glory of our century to have            
demonstrated the indestructibility and  
the eternal persistence of force4       
,neither matter nor force can be        
increased nor diminished4 ,force cannot 
exist apart from matter4  ,matter exists
 only in connection with force1 and     
consequently a force apart from matter1 
and superior to nature1 is a            
demonstrated impossibility4  ,force1    

then1 must have also existed from       
eternity1 and could not have been       
created4  ,matter in its countless      
forms1 from dead earth to the eyes of   
those we love1 and force1 in all its    
manifestations1 from simple motions to  
the grandest thought1 deny creation and 
defy control4  ,thought is a form of    
force4  ,we walk with the same force    
with which we think4  ,man is an        
organism that changes several forms of  
force into thought-force4  ,man is a    
machine into which we put what we call  
food1 and produce what we call thought4 
,think of that wonderful chemistry by   
which bread was changed into the divine 
tragedy of ,hamlet6  ,a god must not    
only be material1 but he must be an     
organism1 capable of changing other     
forms of force into thought-force4      
,this is what we call eating4           
,therefore1 if the god thinks he must   
eat1 that is to say1 he must of         
necessity have some means of supplying  
the force with which to think4  ,it is  

impossible to conceive of a being who   
can eternally impart force to matter1   
and yet have no means of supplying the  
force thus imparted4  ,if neither matter
 nor force were created1 what evidence  
have we1 then1 of the existence of a    
power superior to nature8  ,the         
theologian will probably reply1  ,we    
have law and order1 cause and effect1   
and beside all this1 matter could not   
have put itself in motion4  ,suppose1   
for the sake of an argument1 that there 
is no being superior to nature1 and that
 matter and force have existed from     
eternity4  ,now suppose that two atoms  
should come together1 would there be an 
effect8 ,yes4  ,suppose they came in    
exactly opposite directions with equal  
force1 they would be stopped1 to say the
 least4  ,this would be an effect4  ,if 
this is so1 then you have matter1 force 
and effect without a being superior to  
nature4  ,now suppose that two other    
atoms1 just like the first two1 should  
come together under precisely the same  

circumstances1 would not the effect be  
exactly the same8  ,yes4  ,like causes1 
producing like effects1 is what we mean 
by law and order4  ,then we have matter1
 force1 effect1 law and order without a 
being superior to nature4 ,now1 we know 
that every effect must also be a cause1 
and that every cause must be an effect4 
,the atoms coming together did produce  
an effect1 and as every effect must also
 be a cause1 the effect produced by the 
collision of the atoms1 must1 as to     
something else1 have been a cause4      
,then we have matter1 force1 law1 order1
 cause and effect without a being       
superior to nature4  ,nothing is left   
for the supernatural but empty space4   
,his throne is a void1 and his boasted  
realm is without matter1 without force1 
without law1 without cause1 and without 
effect4  ,but what put all this matter  
in motion8  ,if matter and force have   
existed from eternity1 then matter must 
have always been in motion4 ,there can  
be no force without motion4  ,force is  

forever active1 and there is1 and there 
can be no cessation4  ,if therefore1    
matter and force have existed from      
eternity1 so has motion4  ,in the whole 
universe there is not even one atom in a
 state of rest4  ,a deity outside of    
nature exists in nothing1 and is        
nothing4  ,nature embraces with infinite
 arms all matter and all force4  ,that  
which is beyond her grasp is destitute  
of both1 and can hardly be worth the    
worship and adoration even of a man4    
,there is but one way to demonstrate the
 existence of a power independent of and
 superior to nature1 and that is by     
breaking1 if only for one moment1 the   
continuity of cause and effect4  ,pluck 
from the endless chain of existence one 
little link2 stop for one instant the   
grand procession1 and you have shown    
beyond all contradiction that nature has
 a master4  ,change the fact1 just for  
one second1 that matter attracts matter1
 and a god appears4  ,the rudest savage 
has always known this fact1 and for that

 reason always demanded the evidence of 
miracle4  ,the founder of a religion    
must be able to turn water into         
wine--cure with a word the blind and    
lame1 and raise with a simple touch the 
dead to life4  ,it was necessary for him
 to demonstrate to the satisfaction of  
his barbarian disciple1 that he was     
superior to nature4  ,in times of       
ignorance this was easy to do4  ,the    
credulity of the savage was almost      
boundless4  ,to him the marvelous was   
the beautiful1 the mysterious was the   
sublime4 ,consequently1 every religion  
has for its foundation a miracle--that  
is to say1 a violation of nature--that  
is to say1 a falsehood4  ,no one1 in the
 world's whole history1 ever attempted  
to substantiate a truth by a miracle4   
,truth scorns the assistance of miracle4
 ,nothing but falsehood ever attested   
itself by signs and wonders4 ,no miracle
 ever was performed1 and no sane man    
ever thought he had performed one1 and  
until one is performed1 there can be no 

evidence of the existence of any power  
superior to1 and independent of nature4 
,the church wishes us to believe4  ,let 
the church1 or one of its intellectual  
saints1 perform a miracle1 and we will  
believe4  ,we are told that nature has a
 superior4  ,let this superior1 for one 
single instant1 control nature1 and we  
will admit the truth of your assertion4 
,we have heard talk enough4  ,we have   
listened to all the drowsy1 idealess1   
vapid sermons that we wish to hear4  ,we
 have read your bible and the works of  
your best minds4  ,we have heard your   
prayers1 your solemn groans and your    
reverential amens4  ,all these amount to
 less than nothing4  ,we beg at the     
doors of your churches for just one     
little fact4 ,we pass our hats along    
your pews and under your pulpits and    
implore you for just one fact4  ,we know
 all about your moldy wonders and your  
stale miracles4  ,we want this year's   
fact4  ,we ask only one4 ,give us one   
fact of charity4  ,your miracles are too

 ancient4  ,the witnesses have been dead
 for nearly two thousand years4  ,their 
reputations for truth and veracity in   
the neighborhood where they resided is  
wholly unknown to us4  ,give us a new   
miracle1 and substantiate it by         
witnesses who still have the cheerful   
habit of living in this world4  ,do not 
send us to ,jericho to hear the winding 
horns1 nor put us in the fire with      
,shadrach1 ,moshech1 and ,abednego4  ,do
 not compel us to navigate the sea with 
,captain ,jonah1 nor dine with ,mr4     
,ezekiel4  ,there is no sort of use in  
sending us fox-hunting with ,samson4    
,we have positively lost interest in    
that little speech so eloquently        
delivered by ,balaam's inspired donkey4 
,it is worse than useless to show us    
fishes with money in their mouths1 and  
call our attention to vast multitudes   
stuffing themselves with five crackers  
and two sardines4  ,we demand a new     
miracle and we demand it now4  ,let the 
church furnish at least one1 or forever 

after hold her peace4  ,in the olden    
time1 the church1 by violating the order
 of nature1 proved the existence of her 
,god4  ,at that time miracles were      
performed with the most astonishing     
ease4  ,they became so common that the  
church ordered her priests to desist4   
,and now this same church--the people   
having found so little sense--admits1   
not only1 that she cannot perform a     
miracle1 but insists--that absence of   
miracle--the steady1 unbroken march of  
cause and effect1 proves the existence  
of a power superior to nature4  ,the    
fact is1 however1 that the indissoluble 
chain of cause and effect proves exactly
 the contrary4  ,sir ,william ,hamilton1
 one of the pillars of modern theology1 
in discussing this very subject1 uses   
the following language3 ,the phenomena  
of matter taken by themselves1 so far   
from warranting any inference to the    
existence of a god1 would on the        
contrary ground even an argument to his 
negation4  ,the phenomena of a material 

world are subjected to immutable laws2  
are produced and reproduced in the same 
invariable succession1 and manifest only
 the blind force of mechanical          
necessity4  ,nature is but an endless   
series of efficient causes4  ,she cannot
 create1 but she eternally transforms4  
,there was no beginning2 and there can  
be no end4  ,the best minds1 even in the
 religious world1 admit that in material
 nature there is no evidence of what    
they are pleased to call a god4 ,they   
find their evidence in the phenomena of 
intelligence1 and very innocently assert
 that intelligence is above1 and in     
fact1 opposed to nature4  ,they insist  
that man1 at least1 is a special        
creation2 that he had somewhere in his  
brain a divine spark1 a little portion  
of the ,great ,first ,cause4  ,they say 
that matter cannot produce thought2 but 
that thought can produce matter4  ,they 
tell us that man has intelligence1 and  
therefore there must be an intelligence 
greater than his4  ,why not say1 ,god   

has intelligence1 therefore there must  
be an intelligence greater than his8    
,so far as we know1 there is no         
intelligence apart from matter4  ,we    
cannot conceive of thought1 except as   
produced within a brain4  ,the science1 
by means of which they demonstrate the  
existence of an impossible intelligence1
 and an incomprehensible power1 is      
called metaphysics or theology4  ,the   
theologians admit that the phenomena of 
matter tend1 at least1 to disprove the  
existence of any power superior to      
nature1 because in such phenomena we see
 nothing but an endless chain of        
efficient causes--nothing but the force 
of a mechanical necessity4 ,they        
therefore appeal to what they denominate
 the phenomena of mind to establish this
 superior power4  ,the trouble is1 that 
in the phenomena of mind we find the    
same endless chain of efficient causes2 
the same mechanical necessity4 ,every   
thought must have had an efficient      
cause4  ,every motive1 every desire1    

every fear1 hope and dream must have    
been necessarily produced4  ,there is no
 room in the mind of a man for          
providence or change4  ,the facts and   
forces governing thought are as absolute
 as those governing the motions of the  
planets4  ,a poem is produced by the    
forces of nature1 and is as necessarily 
and naturally produced as mountains and 
seas4  ,you will seek in vain for a     
thought in man's brain without its      
efficient cause4 ,every mental operation
 is the necessary result of certain     
facts and conditions4 ,mental phenomena 
are considered more complicated than    
those of matter1 and consequently more  
mysterious4  ,being more mysterious1    
they are considered better evidence of  
the existence of a god4  ,no one infers 
a god from the simple1 from the known1  
from what is understood1 but from the   
complex1 from the unknown and           
incomprehensible4  ,our ignorance is    
,god2 what we know is science4  ,when we
 abandon the doctrine that some infinite

 being created matter and force1 and    
enacted a code of laws for their        
government1 the idea of interference    
will be lost4  ,the real priest will    
then be1 not the mouth-piece of some    
pretended deity1 but the interpreter of 
nature4 ,from that moment the church    
ceases to exist4  ,the tapers will die  
out upon the dusty altar2 the moths will
 eat the fading velvet of pulpit and    
pew2 the ,bible will take its place with
 the ,shastras1 ,puranas1 ,vedas1       
,eddas1 ,sagas and ,korans1 and the     
fetters of a degrading faith will fall  
from the minds of men4  ,but1 says the  
religionist you cannot explain          
everything2 you cannot understand       
everything2 and that which you cannot   
explain1 that which you do not          
comprehend1 is my god4  ,we are         
explaining more every day4  ,we are     
understanding more every day2           
consequently your ,god is growing       
smaller every day4  ,nothing daunted1   
the religionist then insists that       

nothing can exist without a cause1      
except cause1 and that this uncaused    
cause is ,god4  ,to this we again       
replied3 ,every cause must produce an   
effect1 because until it does produce an
 effect1 it is not a cause4  ,every     
effect must in its turn become a cause4 
,therefore1 in the nature of things1    
there cannot be a last cause1 for the   
reason that a so-called last cause would
 necessarily produce an effect1 and that
 effect must of necessity become a      
cause4  ,the converse of these          
propositions must be true4 ,every effect
 must have had a cause1 and every cause 
must have been an effect4 ,therefore1   
there could have been no first cause4   
,a first cause is just as impossible as 
a last effect4  ,beyond the universe    
there is nothing1 and within the        
universe the supernatural does not and  
cannot exist4  ,the moment these great  
truths are understood and admitted1 a   
belief in general or special providence 
becomes impossible4  ,from that instant 

men will cease their vain efforts to    
please an imaginary being1 and will give
 their time and attention to the affairs
 of this world4  ,they will abandon the 
idea of attaining any object by prayer  
and supplication4 ,the element of       
uncertainty will1 in a great measure1 be
 removed from the domain of the future1 
and man1 gathering courage from a       
succession of victories over the        
obstructions of nature1 will attain a   
serene grandeur unknown to the disciples
 of any superstition4  ,the plans of    
mankind will no longer be interfered    
with by the finger of a supposed        
omnipotence1 and no one will believe    
that nations or individuals are         
protected or destroyed by any deity     
whatever4  ,science1 freed from the     
chains of pious custom and evangelical  
prejudice1 will1 within her sphere1 be  
supreme4  ,the mind will investigate    
without reverence and publish its       
conclusions without fear4  ,agassiz will
 no longer hesitate to declare the      

,mosaic cosmogony utterly inconsistent  
with the demonstrated truths of geology1
 and will cease pretending any reverence
 for the ,jewish scriptures4  ,the      
moment science succeeds in rendering the
 church powerless for evil1 the real    
thinkers will be outspoken4  ,the little
 flags of truce carried by timid        
philosophers will disappear1 and the    
cowardly parley will give place to      
victory lasting and universal4  ,if we  
admit that some infinite being has      
controlled the destinies of persons and 
people1 history becomes a most cruel and
 bloody farce4 ,age after age1 the      
strong have trampled upon the weak2 the 
crafty and heartless have ensnared and  
enslaved the simple and innocent1 and   
nowhere1 in all the annals of mankind1  
has any god succored the oppressed4     
,man should cease to expect aid from on 
high4  ,by this time he should know that
 heaven has no ear to hear1 and no hand 
to help4 ,the present is the necessary  
child of all the past4  ,there has been 

no chance1 and there can be no          
interference4  ,if abuses are destroyed1
 man must destroy them4  ,if slaves are 
freed1 man must free them4  ,if new     
truths are discovered1 man must discover
 them4  ,if the naked are clothed2 if   
the hungry are fed2 if justice is done2 
if labor is rewarded2 if superstition is
 driven from the mind1 if the           
defenseless are protected1 and if the   
right finally triumphs1 all must be the 
work of man4  ,the grand victories of   
the future must be won by man1 and by   
man alone4  ,nature1 so far as we can   
discern1 without passion and without    
intention1 forms1 transforms1 and       
retransforms forever4  ,she neither     
weeps nor rejoices4  ,she produces man  
without purpose1 and obliterates him    
without regret4  ,she knows no          
distinction between the beneficial and  
the hurtful4  ,poison and nutrition1    
pain and joy1 life and death1 smiles and
 tears are alike to her4  ,she is       
neither merciful nor cruel4 ,she cannot 

be flattered by worship nor melted by   
tears4  ,she does not know even the     
attitude of prayer4 ,she appreciates no 
difference between poison in the fangs  
of snakes and mercy in the hearts of    
men4  ,only through man does nature take
 cognizance of the good1 the true1 and  
the beautiful2 and1 so far as we know1  
man is the highest intelligence4  ,and  
yet man continues to believe that there 
is some power independent of and        
superior to nature1 and still endeavors1
 by form1 ceremony1 supplication1       
hypocrisy1 to obtain its aid4  ,his best
 energies have been wasted in the       
service of this phantom4  ,the horrors  
of witchcraft were all born of an       
ignorant belief in the existence of a   
totally depraved being superior to      
nature1 acting in perfect independence  
of her laws2 and all religious          
superstition has had for its basis a    
belief in at least two beings1 one good 
and the other bad1 both of whom could   
arbitrarily change the order of the     

universe4  ,the history of religion is  
simply the story of man's efforts in all
 ages to avoid one of these powers and  
to pacify the other4  ,both powers have 
inspired little else than abject fear4  
,the cold1 calculating sneer of the     
devil1 and the frown of ,god1 were      
equally terrible4  ,in any event1 man's 
fate was to be arbitrarily fixed forever
 by an unknown power superior to all    
law1 and to all fact4  ,until this      
belief is thrown aside1 man must        
consider himself the slave of phantom   
masters--neither of whom promise liberty
 in this world nor in the next4  ,man   
must learn to rely upon himself4        
,reading bibles will not protect him    
from the blasts of winter1 but houses1  
fires1 and clothing will4 ,to prevent   
famine1 one plow is worth a million     
sermons1 and even patent medicines will 
cure more diseases than all the prayers 
uttered since the beginning of the      
world4  ,although many eminent men have 
endeavored to harmonize necessity and   

free will1 the existence of evil1 and   
the infinite power and goodness of ,god1
 they have succeeded only in producing  
learned and ingenious failures4         
,immense efforts have been made to      
reconcile ideas utterly inconsistent    
with the facts by which we are          
surrounded1 and all persons who have    
failed to perceive the pretended        
reconciliation1 have been denounced as  
infidels1 atheists and scoffers4  ,the  
whole power of the church has been      
brought to bear against philosophers and
 scientists in order to compel a denial 
of the authority of demonstration1--and 
to induce some ,judas to betray ,reason1
 one of the saviors of mankind4  ,during
 that frightful period known as the     
,dark ,ages1 ,faith reigned1 with       
scarcely rebellious subject4  ,her      
temples were carpeted with knees1 and   
the wealth of nations adorned her       
countless shrines4  ,the great painters 
prostituted their genius to immortalize 
her vagaries1 while the poets enshrined 

them in song4 ,at her bidding1 man      
covered the earth with blood4  ,the     
scales of justice were turned with gold1
 and for her use were invented all the  
cunning instruments of pain4  ,she built
 cathedrals for ,god1 and dungeons for  
men4  ,she peopled the clouds with      
angels and the earth with slaves4  ,for 
centuries the world was retracing its   
steps--going steadily back toward1      
barbaric night6  ,a few infidels--a few 
heretics cried1 ,halt6 to the great     
rabble of ignorant devotion1 and made it
 possible for the genius of the         
nineteenth century to revolutionize the 
cruel creeds and superstitions of       
mankind4  ,the thoughts of man1 in order
 to be of any real worth1 must be free4 
,under the influence of fear the brain  
is paralyzed1 and instead of bravely    
solving a problem for itself1           
tremblingly adopts the solution of      
another4  ,as long as a majority of men 
will cringe to the very earth before    
some petty prince or king1 what must be 

the infinite abjectness of their little 
souls in the presence of their supposed 
creator and ,god8 ,under such           
circumstances1 what can their thoughts  
be worth8  ,the originality of          
repetition1 and the mental vigor of     
acquiescence1 are all that we have any  
right to expect from the ,christian     
world4 ,as long as every question is    
answered by the word ,god1 scientific   
inquiry is simply impossible4  ,as fast 
as phenomena are satisfactorily         
explained the domain of the power1      
supposed to be superior to nature must  
decrease1 while the horizon of the known
 must as constantly continue to enlarge4
  ,it is no longer satisfactory to      
account for the fall and rise of nations
 by saying1 ,it is the will of ,god4    
,such an explanation puts ignorance and 
education upon exact equality1 and does 
away with the idea of really accounting 
for anything whatever4  ,will the       
religionist pretend that the real end of
 science is to ascertain how and why    

,god acts8  ,science1 from such a       
standpoint1 would consist in            
investigating the law of arbitrary      
action1 and in a grand endeavor to      
ascertain the rule necessarily obeyed by
 infinite caprice4  ,from a             
philosophical point of view1 science is 
knowledge of the laws of life2 of the   
condition of happiness2 of the facts by 
which we are surrounded1 and the        
relations we sustain to men and         
things--by means of which man1 so to    
speak1 subjugates nature and bends the  
elemental powers to his will1 making    
blind force the servant of his brain4   
,a belief in special providence does    
away with the spirit of investigation1  
and is inconsistent with personal       
efforts4  ,why should man endeavor to   
thwart the designs of ,god8  ,which of  
you1 with taking thought1 can add to his
 stature one cubit8  ,under the         
influence of this belief1 man1 basking  
in the sunshine of a delusion1 considers
 the lilies of the field and refuses to 

take any thought for the morrow4        
,believing himself in the power of an   
infinite being1 who can1 at any moment1 
dash him to the lowest hell or raise him
 to the highest heaven1 he necessarily  
abandons the idea of accomplishing      
anything by his own efforts4  ,so long  
as this belief was general1 the world   
was filled with ignorance1 superstition 
and misery4  ,the energies of man were  
wasted in a vain effort to obtain the   
aid of this power1 supposed to be       
superior to nature4  ,for countless     
ages1 even men were sacrificed upon the 
altar of this impossible god4  ,to      
please him1 mothers have shed the blood 
of their own babies2 martyrs have       
chanted triumphant songs in the midst of
 flames2 priests have gorged themselves 
with blood2 nuns have forsworn the      
ecstasies of love2 old men have         
tremblingly implored2 women have sobbed 
and entreated2 every pain has been      
endured1 and every horror has been      
perpetrated4  ,through the dim long     

years that have fled1 humanity has      
suffered more than can be conceived4    
,most of the misery has been endured by 
the weak1 the loving and the innocent4  
,women have been treated like poisonous 
beasts1 and little children trampled    
upon as though they had been vermin4    
,numberless altars have been reddened1  
even with the blood of babies2 beautiful
 girls have been given to slimy         
serpents2 whole races of men doomed to  
centuries of slavery1 everywhere there  
has been outrage beyond the power of    
genius to express4  ,during all these   
years the suffering have supplicated2   
the withered lips of famine have prayed2
 the pale victims have implored1 and    
heaven has been deaf and blind4  ,of    
what use have the gods been to man8  ,it
 is no answer to say that some god      
created the world1 established certain  
laws1 and then turned his attention to  
other matters1 leaving his children1    
weak1 ignorant and unaided1 to fight the
 battle of life alone4  ,it is no       

solution to declare that in some other  
world this god will render a few or even
 all of his subjects happy4  ,what right
 have we to expect that a perfectly     
wise1 good and powerful being will ever 
do better than he has done1 and is      
doing8  ,the world is filled with       
imperfections4  ,if it was made by an   
infinite being1 what reason have we for 
saying that he will render it nearer    
perfect than it now is8  ,if the        
infinite ,father allows a majority of   
his children to live in ignorance and   
wretchedness now1 what evidence is there
 that he will ever improve their        
condition8  ,will god have more power8  
,will he become more merciful8  ,will   
his love for his poor creatures         
increase8 ,can the conduct of infinite  
wisdom1 power and love ever change8  ,is
 the infinite capable of any improvement
 whatever4  ,we are informed by the     
clergy that this world is a kind of     
school2 that the evils by which we are  
surrounded are for the purpose of       

developing our souls1 and that only by  
suffering can men become pure1 strong1  
virtuous and grand4  ,supposing this to 
be true1 what is to become of those who 
die in infancy8  ,the little children1  
according to this philosophy1 can never 
be developed4  ,they were so unfortunate
 as to escape the ennobling influences  
of pain and misery1 and as a            
consequence1 are doomed to an eternity  
of mental inferiority4  ,if the clergy  
are right on this question1 none are so 
unfortunate as the happy1 and we should 
envy only the suffering and distressed4 
,if evil is necessary to the development
 of man1 in this life1 how is it        
possible for the soul to improve in the 
perfect joy of paradise8  ,since ,paley 
found his watch1 the argument of design 
has been relied upon as unanswerable4   
,the ,church teaches that this world1   
and all that it contains1 were created  
substantially as we now see them1 that  
the grasses1 the flowers1 the trees1 and
 all animals1 including man1 were       

special creations1 and that they sustain
 no necessary relation to each other4   
,the most orthodox will admit that some 
earth has been washed into the sea1 that
 the sea has encroached a little upon   
the land1 and that some mountains may be
 a trifle lower than in the morning of  
creation4  ,the theory of gradual       
development was unknown to our fathers2 
the idea of evolution did not occur to  
them4  ,our fathers looked upon the then
 arrangement of things as the primal    
arrangement4 ,the earth appeared to them
 fresh from the hands of a deity4  ,they
 knew nothing of the slow evolutions of 
countless years1 but supposed that the  
almost infinite variety of vegetable and
 animal forms had existed from the      
first4  ,suppose that upon some island  
we should find a man a million years of 
age1 and suppose that we should find him
 in the possession of a most beautiful  
carriage1 constructed upon the most     
perfect model4 ,and suppose further1    
that he should tell us that it was the  

result of several hundred thousand years
 of labor and of thought2 that for fifty
 thousand years he used as flat a log as
 he could find1 before it occurred to   
him that by splitting the log he could  
have the same surface with only half the
 weight2 that it took him many thousand 
years to invent wheels for this log2    
that the wheels he first used were      
solid1 and that fifty thousand years of 
thought suggested the use of spokes and 
tire2 that for many centuries he used   
the wheels without linch-pins3 that it  
took a hundred thousand years more to   
think of using four wheels1 instead of  
two2 that for ages he walked behind the 
carriage1 when going down hill1 in order
 to hold it back1 and that only by a    
lucky chance he invented the tongue2    
would we conclude that this man1 from   
the very first1 had been an infinitely  
ingenious and perfect mechanic8         
,suppose we found him living in an      
elegant mansion1 and he should inform us
 that he lived in that house for five   

hundred thousand years before he thought
 of putting on a roof1 and that he had  
but recently invented windows and doors2
 would we say that from the beginning he
 had been an infinite accomplished and  
scientific architect4  ,does not an     
improvement in the things created1 show 
the corresponding improvement in the    
creator8  ,would an infinitely wise1    
good and powerful ,god1 intending to    
produce man1 commence with the lowest   
possible forms of life2 with the        
simplest organism that can be imagined1 
and during immeasurable periods of time1
 slowly and almost imperceptibly improve
 upon the rude beginning1 until man was 
evolved8  ,would countless ages thus be 
wasted in the production of awkward     
forms1 afterward abandoned8  ,can the   
intelligence of man discover the least  
wisdom in covering the earth with       
crawling1 creeping horrors1 that live   
only upon the agonies and pangs of      
others8  ,can we see the propriety of so
 constructing the earth1 that only an   

insignificant portion of its surface is 
capable of producing an intelligent man8
  ,who can appreciate the mercy of so   
making the world that all animals devour
 animals8 so that every mouth is a      
slaughter-house1 and every stomach a    
tomb8  ,is it possible to discover      
infinite intelligence and love in       
universal and eternal carnage8  ,what   
would we think of a father1 who should  
give a farm to his children1 and before 
giving them possession should plant upon
 it thousands of deadly shrubs and      
vines2 should stock it with ferocious   
beasts2 and poisonous reptiles2 should  
take pains to put a few swamps in the   
neighborhood to breed malaria2 should so
 arrange matters1 that the ground would 
occasionally open and swallow a few of  
his darlings1 and besides all this1     
should establish a few volcanoes in the 
immediate vicinity1 that might at any   
moment overwhelm his children with      
rivers of fire8  ,suppose that this     
father neglected to tell his children   

which of the plants were deadly2 that   
the reptiles were poisonous2 failed to  
say anything about the earthquakes1 and 
kept the volcano business a profound    
secret2 would we pronounce him angel or 
fiend8  ,and yet this is exactly what   
the orthodox ,god has done4  ,according 
to the theologians1 ,god prepared this  
globe expressly for the habitation of   
his loved children1 and yet he filled   
the forests with ferocious beasts2      
placed serpents in every path2 stuffed  
the world with earthquakes1 and adorned 
its surface with mountains of flame4    
,notwithstanding all this1 we are told  
that the world is perfect2 that it was  
created by a perfect being1 and is      
therefore necessarily perfect4 ,the next
 moment1 these same persons will tell us
 that the world was cursed2 covered with
 brambles1 thistles and thorns1 and that
 man was doomed to disease and death1   
simply because our poor1 dear mother ate
 an apple contrary to the command of an 
arbitrary ,god4  ,a very pious friend of

 mine1 having heard that ,i had said the
 world was full of imperfections1 asked 
me if the report was true4  ,upon being 
informed that it was1 he expressed great
 surprise that any one could be guilty  
of such presumption4  ,he said that1 in 
his judgment1 it was impossible to point
 out an imperfection4  ,be kind enough1 
said he1 to name even one improvement   
that you could make1 if you had the     
power4 ,well1 said ,i1 ,i would make    
good health catching1 instead of        
disease4  ,the truth is1 it is          
impossible to harmonize all the ills1   
and pains1 and agonies of this world    
with the idea that we were created by1  
and are watched over and protected by an
 infinitely wise1 powerful and          
beneficent ,god1 who is superior to and 
independent of nature4  ,the clergy1    
however1 balance all the real ills of   
this life with the expected joys of the 
next4  ,we are assured that all is      
perfection in heaven--there the skies   
are cloudless--there all is serenity and

 peace4 ,here empires may be overthrown2
 dynasties may be extinguished in blood2
 millions of slaves may toil 'neath the 
fierce rays of the sun1 and the cruel   
strokes of the lash2 yet all is         
happiness in heaven4  ,pestilence may   
strew the earth with corpses of the     
loved2 the survivors may bend above them
 in agony--yet the placid bosom of      
heaven is unruffled4 ,children may      
expire vainly asking for bread2 babies  
may be devoured by serpents1 while the  
gods sit smiling in the clouds4  ,the   
innocent may languish unto death in the 
obscurity of dungeons2 brave men and    
heroic women may be changed to ashes at 
the bigot's stake1 while heaven is      
filled with song and joy4 ,out on the   
wide sea1 in darkness and in storm1 the 
shipwrecked struggle with the cruel     
waves1 while the angels play upon their 
golden harps4 ,the streets of the world 
are filled with the diseased1 the       
deformed and the helpless2 the chambers 
of pain are crowded with the pale forms 

of the suffering1 while the angels float
 and fly in the happy realms of day4    
,in heaven they are too happy to have   
sympathy2 too busy singing to aid the   
imploring and distressed4 ,their eyes   
are blinded2 their ears are stopped and 
their hearts are turned to stone by the 
infinite selfishness of joy4  ,the saved
 mariner is too happy when he touches   
the shore to give a moment's thought to 
his drowning brothers4  ,with the       
indifference of happiness1 with the     
contempt of bliss1 heaven barely glances
 at the miseries of earth4 ,cities are  
devoured by the rushing lava2 the earth 
opens and thousands perish2 women raise 
their clasped hands towards heaven1 but 
the gods are too happy to aid their     
children4  ,the smiles of the deities   
are unacquainted with the tears of men4 
,the shouts of heaven drown the sobs of 
earth4  ,having shown how man created   
gods1 and how he became the trembling   
slave of his own creation1 the questions
 naturally arise3 ,how did he free      

himself even a little1 from these       
monarchs of the sky1 from these despots 
of the clouds1 from this aristocracy of 
the air8 ,how did he1 even to the extent
 that he has1 outgrow his ignorant1     
abject terror1 and throw off1 the yoke  
of superstition8  ,probably1 the first  
thing that tended to disabuse his mind  
was the discovery of order1 of          
regularity1 of periodicity in the       
universe4 ,from this he began to suspect
 that everything did not happen purely  
with reference to him4  ,he noticed1    
that whatever he might do1 the motions  
of the planets were always the same2    
that eclipses were periodical1 and that 
even comets came at certain intervals4  
,this convinced him that eclipses and   
comets had nothing to do with him1 and  
that his conduct had nothing to do with 
them4  ,he perceived that they were not 
caused for his benefit or injury4  ,he  
thus learned to regard them with        
admiration instead of fear4  ,he began  
to suspect that famine was not sent by  

some enraged and revengeful deity but   
resulted often from the neglect and     
ignorance of man4 ,he learned that      
diseases were not produced by evil      
spirits4  ,he found that sickness was   
occasioned by natural causes1 and would 
be cured by natural means4  ,he         
demonstrated1 to his own satisfaction at
 least1 that prayer is not a medicine4  
,he found by sad experience that his    
gods were of no practical use1 as they  
never assisted him1 except when he was  
perfectly able to help himself4 ,at     
last1 he began to discover that his     
individual action had nothing whatever  
to do with strange appearances in the   
heavens2 that it was impossible for him 
to be bad enough to cause a whirlwind1  
or good enough to stop one4  ,after many
 centuries of thought1 he about half    
concluded that making mouths at a priest
 would not necessarily cause an         
earthquake4  ,he noticed1 and no doubt  
with considerable astonishment1 that    
very good men were occasionally struck  

by lightning1 while very bad ones       
escaped4  ,he was frequently forced to  
the painful conclusion 7and it is the   
most painful to which any human being   
ever was forced7 that the right did not 
always prevail4 ,he noticed that the    
gods did not interfere in behalf of the 
weak and innocent4  ,he was now and then
 astonished by seeing an unbeliever in  
the enjoyment of most excellent health4 
,he finally ascertained that there could
 be no possible connection between an   
unusually severe winter and his failure 
to give sheep to a priest4 ,he began to 
suspect that the order of the universe  
was not constantly being changed to     
assist him because he repeated a creed4 
,he observed that some children would   
steal after having been regularly       
baptized4  ,he noticed a vast difference
 between religions and justice1 and that
 the worshipers of the same ,god took   
delight in cutting each other's throats4
  ,he saw that these religious disputes 
filled the world with hatred and        

slavery4  ,at last he had the courage to
 suspect1 that no ,god at any time      
interferes with the order of events4    
,he learned a few facts1 and these facts
 positively refused to harmonize with   
the ignorant superstitions of his       
fathers4  ,finding his sacred books     
incorrect and false in some particulars1
 his faith in their authenticity began  
to be shaken2 finding his priests       
ignorant on some points1 he began to    
lose respect for the cloth4  ,this was  
the commencement of intellectual        
freedom4  ,the civilization of man has  
increased just to the same extent that  
religious power has decreased4  ,the    
intellectual advancement of man depends 
upon how often he can exchange an old   
superstition for a new truth4  ,the     
,church never enabled a human being to  
make even one of these exchanges2 on the
 contrary1 all her power has been used  
to prevent them4  ,in spite1 however1 of
 the ,church1 man found that some of his
 religious conceptions were wrong4  ,by 

reading his bible1 he found that the    
ideas of his ,god were more cruel and   
brutal than those of the most depraved  
savage4  ,he also discovered that this  
holy book was filled with ignorance1 and
 that it must have been written by      
persons wholly unacquainted with the    
nature of the phenomena by which we are 
surrounded2 and now and then1 some man  
had the goodness and courage to speak   
his honest thoughts4  ,in every age some
 thinker1 some doubter1 some            
investigator1 some hater of hypocrisy1  
some despiser of sham1 some brave lover 
of the right1 has gladly1 proudly and   
heroically braved the ignorant fury of  
superstition for the sake of man and    
truth4  ,these divine men were generally
 torn in pieces by the worshipers of the
 gods4 ,socrates was poisoned because he
 lacked reverence for some of the       
deities4  ,christ was crucified by the  
religious rabble for the crime of       
blasphemy4  ,nothing is more gratifying 
to a religionist than to destroy his    

enemies at the command of ,god4         
,religious persecution springs from a   
due admixture of love towards ,god and  
hatred towards man4  ,the terrible      
religious wars that inundated the world 
with blood tended at least to bring all 
religion into disgrace and hatred4      
,thoughtful people began to question the
 divine origin of a religion that made  
its believers hold the rights of others 
in absolute contempt4  ,a few began to  
compare ,christianity with the religions
 of heathen people1 and were forced to  
admit that the difference was hardly    
worth dying for4  ,they also found that 
other nations were even happier and more
 prosperous than their own4  ,they began
 to suspect1 that their religion1 after 
all1 was not of much real value4  ,for  
three hundred years the ,christian world
 endeavored to rescue from the ,infidel 
the empty sepulchre of ,christ4  ,for   
three hundred years the armies of the   
cross were baffled and beaten by the    
victorious hosts of an impudent         

impostor4  ,this immense fact sowed the 
seeds of distrust throughout all        
,christendom1 and millions began to lose
 confidence in a ,god who had been      
vanquished by ,mohammed4 ,the people    
also found that commerce made friends   
where religion made enemies1 and that   
religious zeal was utterly incompatible 
with peace between nations or           
individuals4 ,the discovered that those 
who loved the gods most were apt to love
 men least2 that the arrogance of       
universal forgiveness was amazing2 that 
the most malicious had the effrontery to
 pray for their enemies1 and that       
humility and tyranny were the fruit of  
the same tree4  ,for ages1 a deadly     
conflict has been waged between a few   
brave men and women of thought and      
genius upon the one side1 and the great 
ignorant religious mass on the other4   
,this is the war between ,science and   
,faith4 ,the few have appealed to       
reason1 to honor1 to law1 to freedom1 to
 the known1 and to happiness here in    

this world4 ,the many have appealed to  
prejudice1 to fear1 to miracle1 to      
slavery1 to the unknown1 and to misery  
hereafter4  ,the few have said1 ,think6 
,the many have said1 ,believe6  ,the    
first doubt was the womb and cradle of  
progress1 and from the first doubt1 man 
has continued to advance4  ,men began to
 investigate1 and the church began to   
oppose4  ,the astronomer scanned the    
heavens1 while the church branded his   
grand forehead with the word1 ,infidel2 
and now1 not a glittering star in all   
the vast expanse bears a ,christian     
name4 ,in spite of all religion1 the    
geologist penetrated the earth1 read her
 history in books of stone1 and found   
hidden within her bosom1 souvenirs of   
all the ages4  ,old ideas perished in   
the retort of the chemist1 useful truths
 took their places4  ,one by one        
religious conceptions have been placed  
in the crucible of science1 and thus    
far1 nothing but dross has been found4  
,a new world has been discovered by the 

microscope2 everywhere has been found   
the infinite2 in every direction man has
 investigated and explored1 and nowhere1
 in earth or stars1 has been found the  
footstep of any being superior to or    
independent of nature4 ,nowhere has been
 discovered the slightest evidence of   
any interference from without4  ,these  
are the sublime truths that enable man  
to throw off the yoke of superstition4  
,these are the splendid facts that      
snatched the sceptre of authority from  
the hands of priests4  ,in the vast     
cemetery called the past are most of the
 religions of men1 and there1 too1 are  
nearly all their gods4  ,the sacred     
temples of ,india were ruins long ago4  
,over column and cornice2 over the      
painted and pictured walls1 cling and   
creep the trailing vines4 ,brahma1 the  
golden1 with four heads and four arms2  
,vishnu1 the sombre1 the punisher of the
 wicked1 with his three eyes1 his       
crescent1 and his necklace of skulls2   
,siva1 the destroyer1 red with seas of  

blood2 ,kali1 the goddess2 ,draupadi1   
the white-armed1 and ,chrishna1 the     
,christ1 all passed away and left the   
thrones of heaven desolate4  ,along the 
banks of the sacred ,nile1 ,isis no     
longer wandering weeps1 searching for   
the dead ,osiris4 ,the shadow of        
,typhon's scowl falls no more upon the  
waves4  ,the sun rises as of yore1 and  
his golden beams still smite the lips of
 ,memnon1 but ,memnon is as voiceless as
 the ,sphinx4  ,the sacred fanes are    
lost in desert sands2 the dusty mummies 
are still waiting for the resurrection  
promised by their priests1 and the old  
beliefs1 wrought in curiously sculptured
 stone1 sleep in the mystery of a       
language lost and dead4 ,odin1 the      
author of life and soul1 ,vili and ,ve1 
and the mighty giant ,ymir1 strode long 
ago from the icy halls of the ,north2   
and ,thor1 with iron glove and          
glittering hammer1 dashes mountains to  
the earth no more4 ,broken are the      
circles and cromlechs of the ancient    

,druids2 fallen upon the summits of the 
hills1 and covered with the centuries'  
moss1 are the sacred cairns4  ,the      
divine fires of ,persia and of the      
,aztecs1 have died out in the ashes of  
the past1 and there is none to rekindle1
 and none to feed the holy flames4  ,the
 harp of ,orpheus is still2 the drained 
cup of ,bacchus has been thrown aside2  
,venus lies dead in stone1 and her white
 bosom heaves no more with love4  ,the  
streams still murmur1 but no naiads     
bathe2 the trees still wave1 but in the 
forest aisles no dryads dance4 ,the gods
 have flown from high ,olympus4  ,not   
even the beautiful women can lure them  
back1 and ,danee lies unnoticed1 naked  
to the stars4  ,hushed forever are the  
thunders of ,sinai2 lost are the voices 
of the prophets1 and the land once      
flowing with milk and honey is but a    
desert and waste4  ,one by one1 the     
myths have faded from the clouds2 one by
 one1 the phantom host has disappeared1 
and one by one facts1 truths and        

realities have taken their places4  ,the
 supernatural has almost gone1 but the  
natural remains4  ,the gods have fled1  
but man is here4  ,nations1 like        
individuals1 have their periods of      
youth1 of manhood and decay4  ,religions
 are the same4  ,the same inexorable    
destiny awaits them all4  ,the gods     
created by the nations must perish with 
their creators4 ,they were created by   
men1 and like men1 they must pass away4 
,the deities of one age are the by-words
 of the next4 ,the religion of one day  
and country1 is no more exempt from the 
sneer of the future than others have    
been4  ,when ,india was supreme1 ,brahma
 sat upon the world's throne4 ,when the 
scepter passed to ,egypt1 ,isis and     
,osiris received the homage of mankind4 
,greece1 with her fierce valor1 swept to
 empire1 and ,zeus put on the purple of 
authority4  ,the earth trembled with the
 tread of ,rome's intrepid sons1 and    
,jove grasped with mailed hand the      
thunderbolts of heaven4 ,rome fell1 and 

,christians from her territory1 with the
 red sword of war1 carved out the ruling
 nations of the world1 and now ,christ  
sits upon the old throne4  ,who will be 
his successor8  ,day by day1 religious  
conceptions grow less and less intense4 
,day by day1 the old spirit dies out of 
book and creed4  ,the burning           
enthusiasm1 the quenchless zeal of the  
early church have gone1 never1 never to 
return4  ,the ceremonies remain1 but the
 ancient faith is fading out of the     
human heart4  ,the worn out arguments   
fail to convince1 and denunciations that
 once blanched the faces of a race1     
excite in us only derision and disgust4 
,as time rolls on1 the miracles grow    
mean and small1 and the evidences our   
fathers thought conclusive utterly fail 
to satisfy us4  ,there is an            
irrepressible conflict between religion 
and science1 and they cannot peaceably  
occupy the same brain nor the same      
world4  ,while utterly discarding all   
creeds1 and denying the truth of all    

religions1 there is neither in my heart 
nor upon my lips a sneer for the        
hopeful1 loving and tender souls who    
believe that from all this discord will 
result a perfect harmony2 that every    
evil will in some mysterious way become 
a good1 and that above and over all     
there is a being who1 in some way1 will 
reclaim and glorify everyone of the     
children of men2 but for those who      
heartlessly try to prove that salvation 
is almost impossible2 that damnation is 
almost certain2 that the highway of the 
universe leads to hell2 who fill life   
with fear and death with horror2 who    
curse the cradle and mock the tomb1 it  
is impossible to entertain other than   
feelings of pity1 contempt and scorn4   
,reason1 ,observation and               
,experience--the ,holy ,trinity of      
,science--have taught us that happiness 
is the only good2 that the time to be   
happy is now1 and the way to be happy is
 to make others so4  ,this is enough for
 us4  ,in this belief we are content to 

live and die4 ,if by any possibility the
 existence of a power superior to1 and  
independent of1 nature shall be         
demonstrated1 there will then be time   
enough to kneel4 ,until then1 let us    
stand erect4  ,notwithstanding the fact 
that infidels in all ages have battled  
for the rights of man1 and have at all  
times been the fearless advocates of    
liberty and justice1 we are constantly  
charged by the ,church with tearing down
 without building again4  ,the ,church  
should by this time know that it is     
utterly impossible to rob men of their  
opinions4  ,the history of religious    
persecutions fully establishes the fact 
that the mind necessarily resists and   
defies every attempt to control it by   
violence4  ,the mind necessarily clings 
to old ideas until prepared for the new4
  ,the moment we comprehend the truth1  
all erroneous ideas are of necessity    
cast aside4  ,a surgeon once called upon
 a poor cripple and kindly offered to   
render him any assistance in his power4 

,the surgeon began to discourse very    
learnedly upon the nature and origin of 
disease2 of the curative properties of  
certain medicines2 of the advantages of 
exercise1 air and light1 and of the     
various ways in which health and        
strength could be restored4  ,these     
remarks were so full of good sense1 and 
discovered so much profound thought and 
accurate knowledge1 that the cripple1   
becoming thoroughly alarmed1 cried out1 
,do not1 ,i pray you1 take away my      
crutches4  ,they are my only support1   
and without them1 ,i should be          
miserable1 indeed4  ,i am not going1    
said the surgeon1  to take away your    
crutches4  ,i am going to cure you1 and 
then you will throw the crutches away   
yourself4  ,for the vagaries of the     
clouds1 the infidels propose to         
substitute the realities of the earth2  
for superstition1 the splendid          
demonstrations and achievements of      
science2 and for the theological        
tyranny1 the chainless liberty of       

thought4  ,we do not say we have        
discovered all2 that our doctrines are  
the all in all in truth4  ,we know of no
 end to the development of man4 ,we     
cannot unravel the infinite             
complications of matter and force4 ,the 
history of one monad is as unknown as   
that of the universe2 one drop of water 
is as wonderful as all the seas2 one    
leaf1 as all the forests2 and one grain 
of sand1 as all the stars4  ,we are not 
endeavoring to chain the future1 but to 
free the present4 ,we are not forgoing  
fetters for our children1 but we are    
breaking those our fathers made for us4 
,we are the advocates of inquiry1 of    
investigation and thought4  ,this of    
itself1 is an admission that we are not 
perfectly satisfied with all our        
conclusions4  ,philosophy has not the   
egotism of faith4  ,while superstition  
builds walls and creates obstructions1  
science opens all the highways of       
thought4 ,we do not pretend to have     
circumnavigated everything1 and to have 

solved all difficulties1 but we do      
believe that it is better to love men   
than to fear gods1 that it is grander   
and nobler to think and investigate for 
yourself than to repeat a creed4  ,we   
are satisfied that there can be but     
little liberty on earth while men       
worship a tyrant in heaven4  ,we do not 
expect to accomplish everything in our  
day2 but we want to do what good we can1
 and to render all the service possible 
in the holy cause of human progress4 ,we
 know that doing away with gods and     
supernatural persons and powers is not  
an end4  ,it is a means to an end2 the  
real end being the happiness of man4    
,felling forests is not the end of      
agriculture4  ,driving pirates from the 
sea is not all there is of commerce4    
,we are laying the foundations of a     
grand temple of the future--not the     
temple of all the gods1 but of all the  
people--wherein1 with appropriate rites1
 will be celebrated the religion of     
,humanity4 ,we are doing what little we 

can to hasten the coming of the day when
 society shall cease producing          
millionaires and mendicants--gorged     
indolence and famished industry--truth  
in rags1 and superstition robed and     
crowned4 ,we are looking for the time   
when the useful shall be the honorable2 
and when ,,reason1 throned upon the     
world's brain1 shall be the ,king of    
,kings1 and ,god of ,gods4              
,,ingersoll',s ,,lecture ,,on ,,ghosts4 
,ladies and ,gentlemen3 ,in the first   
place1 allow me to tender my sincere    
thanks to the clergy of this city4  ,i  
feel that ,i am greatly indebted to them
 for this magnificent audience4  ,it has
 been said1 and ,i believe it myself1   
that there is a vast amount of          
intolerance in the church of today1 but 
when twenty-four clergymen1 three of    
whom1 ,i believe1 are bishops1 act as my
 advance agents1 without expecting any  
remuneration1 or reward in this world1  
,i must admit that perhaps ,i was       
mistaken on the question of intolerance4

  ,and ,i will say1 further1 that       
against those men ,i have not the       
slightest feeling in the world2 every   
man is the product of his own           
surroundings2 he is the product of every
 circumstance that has ever touched him2
 he is the product to a certain degree  
of the religion and creed of his day1   
and when men show the slightest         
intolerance ,i blame the creed1 ,i blame
 the religion1 ,i blame the superstition
 that forced them to do so4  ,i do not  
blame those men4  ,allow me to say1     
further1 that this world is not1 in my  
judgment1 yet perfect4  ,i am doing1 in 
a very feeble way1 to be sure1 but ,i am
 still endeavoring1 according to my     
,idea1 to make this world just a little 
better2 to give a little more liberty to
 men1 a little more liberty to women4   
,i believe in the government of         
kindness2 ,i believe in truth1 in       
investigation1 in free thought4  ,i do  
not believe that the hand of want will  
be eternally extended in the world2 ,i  

do not believe that the prison will     
forever scar the ground2 ,i do not      
believe that the shadow of the gallows  
will forever curse the earth2 ,i do not 
believe that it will always be true that
 the men who do the most work will have 
the least to wear and the least to eat4 
,i do believe that the time will come   
when liberty and morality and justice1  
like the rings of ,saturn1 will surround
 the world2 that the world will be      
better1 and every true man and every    
free man will do what he can to hasten  
the coming of the religion of human     
advancement4  ,i understand that for the
 thousands and thousands of years that  
have gone by1 all questions have been   
settled by religion4  ,i understand that
 during all this time the people have   
gotten their information from the       
sacerdotal class--from priests4  ,i know
 that when ,india was supreme they      
worshipped ,brahma and ,vishnu1 and that
 when ,rome held in its hand the red    
sword of war they worshipped ,jove1 and 

,i know now that our religion has swept 
to the top4  ,any man living in ,india a
 few hundred or thousand years ago would
 have said1 this is the only true       
religion4 ,why8 ,because here is the    
only true civilization4  ,a man         
afterward living in ,egypt would have   
said1 this is the only true religion1   
because we have the best civilization2 a
 ,greek in ,athens would have said this 
is the only true religion1 and a ,roman 
would have said we have the true        
religion1 and now those religions all   
having died1 although they were all true
 religions1 we say ours is the only     
religion1 because we are the greatest   
commercial nation in the world4  ,there 
will come other nations2 there will come
 other religions4 ,man has made every   
religion in this world1 in my judgment1 
and the religion1 has been good or bad  
according as the men who made it were   
good or bad4 ,if they were savages and  
barbarians1 they made a ,god like the   
,jehovah of the ,jews2 if they were     

civilized1 if they were kind and tender1
 they filled the heavens with kindness  
and love4  ,every man makes his own     
,god4 ,show me the ,god a man worships1 
and ,i will tell you what kind of a man 
he is4  ,every one makes his own ,god1  
every one worships his own ,god2 and if 
you are a civilized man you will have a 
civilized ,god1 and we have been        
civilizing ours for hundreds and        
hundreds of years4  ,he is getting      
better every day4  ,i am going to tell  
you tonight just exactly what ,i think4 
,the other lecture ,i delivered here was
 my conservative lecture2 this is my    
radical one6  ,we even hear it suggested
 that our religion1 our ,bible1 has     
given us all we have of prosperity and  
greatness and grandeur4  ,i deny it6    
,we have become civilized in spite of   
it1 and ,i will show you tonight that   
the obstruction that every science has  
had is what we have been pleased to call
 our religion--or superstition4  ,i had 
a conversation with a gentleman         

once--and these gentlemen are always    
mistaking something that goes along with
 a thing for the cause of the thing--and
 he stated to me that his particular    
religion was the cause of all           
advancement4  ,i said to him3 ,no1 ,sir2
 the causes of all advancement1 in my   
judgment1 are plug hats and suspenders4 
,and ,i said to him3 ,you go to ,turkey1
 where they are semi-barbarians1 and you
 won't find a pair of suspenders or a   
plug hat in all that country2 you go to 
,russia1 and you will find now and then 
a pair of suspenders at ,moscow or ,st4 
,petersburg2 you go on down till you    
strike ,austria1 and black hats begin2  
then you go on to ,paris1 ,berlin and   
,new ,york1 and you will find everybody 
wears suspenders and everybody wears    
black hats4 ,wherever you find education
 and music there you will find black    
hats and suspenders4  ,he said that any 
man who said to him that plug hats and  
suspenders had done more for mankind    
than the ,bible and religion he would   

not talk to4  ,as a matter of fact1 we  
are controlled today by men who do not  
exist4 ,we are controlled today by      
phenomena that never did exist4  ,we are
 controlled by ghosts and dead men1 and 
in the grasp of death is a scepter that 
controls the living present4  ,i propose
 that we shall govern ourselves6  ,i    
propose that we shall let the past go1  
and let the dead past bury the dead     
past4  ,i believe the ,american people  
have brains enough1 and nerve enough1   
and courage enough1 to control and      
govern themselves1 without any          
assistance from dust or ghosts4 ,that is
 my doctrine1 and ,i am going to do what
 ,i can while ,i live to increase that  
feeling of independence and manhood in  
the ,american people4--,we can control  
ourselves4  ,i believe in the gospel of 
this world2 ,i believe in happiness     
right here2 ,i do not believe in        
drinking skim milk all my life with the 
expectation of butter beyond the clouds4
  ,i believe in the gospel1 ,i say1 in  

this world4  ,this is a mighty good     
world4  ,there are plenty of good people
 in this world4  ,there is lots of      
happiness in this world and1 ,i say1 let
 us1 in every way we can1 increase it4  
,i envy every man who is content with   
his lot1 whether he is poor or whether  
he is rich4  ,i tell you1 the man that  
tries to make somebody else happy1 and  
who owns his own soul1 nobody having a  
mortgage or deed of trust upon his      
manhood or liberty--this world is a     
pretty good world for such a man4  ,i do
 not care3 ,i am going to say my say1   
whether ,i make money or grow poor2 no  
matter whether ,i get high office or    
walk along the dusty highway of the     
common4  ,i am going to say my say1 and 
,i had rather be a farmer and live on   
forty acres of land--live in a log cabin
 that ,i built myself1 and have a little
 grassy path going down to the spring1  
so that ,i can go there and hear the    
waters gurgling1 and know that it is    
coming out from the lips of the earth1  

like a poem1 whispering to the white    
pebbles--,i would rather live there1 and
 have some hollyhocks at the corner of  
the house1 and the larks singing and    
swinging in the trees1 and some lattice 
over the window1 so that the sunlight   
can fall checkered on the babe in the   
cradle4  ,i had rather live there1 and  
have the freedom of my own brain2 ,i had
 rather do that than live in a palace of
 gold1 and crawl1 a slimy hypocrite1    
through this world4  ,superstition has  
done enough harm already2 every         
religion1 nearly1 suspects everything   
that is pleasant1 everything that is    
joyous1 and they always have a notion   
that ,god feels best when we feel worst4
  ,they have chained the ,andromeda of  
joy to the cold rock of ignorance and   
fear1 there to be devoured by the dragon
 of superstition4  ,church and ,state   
are two vultures that have fed upon the 
heart of chained ,prometheus4  ,i say1  
let the human race have a chance let    
every man think for himself and express 

that thought4  ,there is no wrath in the
 serene heavens2 there is no scowl in   
the blue of the sky4 ,upon the throne of
 the universe tyranny does not sit as a 
king4  ,the speaker here took from his  
pocket a pair of spectacles1 and        
adjusted them1 saying3 ,i am sorry to   
admit it2 ,i have got to come to it4  ,i
 hate to put on a pair of spectacles1   
but the other day1 as ,i was putting    
them on1 a thought struck me4  ,i see   
progress in this4  ,to progress is to   
overcome the obstacles of nature1 and in
 order to overcome this obstacle of the 
loss of sight man invented spectacles4  
,spectacles led men to the telescope1   
with which he read all the starry       
heavens2 and had it not been for the    
failure of sight we wouldn't have seen a
 millionth part that we have4  ,in the  
first place1 we owe nothing but truth to
 the dead4 ,i am going to tell the truth
 about them4  ,there are three theories 
by which men account for all            
phenomena--for everything that happens3 

,first1 the supernatural4  ,in the olden
 time1 everything that happened some    
deity produced1 some spirit1 some devil1
 some hobgoblin1 some dryad1 some fairy1
 some spook1 something except nature4   
,first1 then1 the supernatural2 and a   
barbarian1 looking at the wide1         
mysterious sea1 wandering through the   
depths of the forest1 encountering the  
wild beasts1 troubled by strange dreams1
 accounted for everything by the action 
of spirits1 good and bad4  ,second1 the 
supernatural and natural4  ,there is    
where the religious world is today--a   
mingling of the supernatural and        
natural1 the idea being that ,god       
created the world and imposed upon men  
certain laws1 and then let them run1 and
 if they ever got into any trouble then 
he would do a miracle1 and accomplish   
any good that he desired to do4         
,third--and that is the grand           
theory--the natural4  ,between these    
theories there has been from the dawn of
 civilization a conflict4  ,in this     

great war nearly all the soldiers have  
been in the ranks of the supernatural4  
,the believers in the supernatural      
insist that matter is controlled and    
directed entirely by powers from        
without4  ,the naturalists maintain that
 nature acts from within2 that nature is
 not acted upon2 that the universe is   
all there is2 that nature1 with infinite
 arms1 embraces everything that exists1 
and that the supposed powers beyond the 
limits of the materially real are simply
 ghosts4  ,you say1 ah6 this is         
materialism6 this is the doctrine of    
matter6 ,what is matter8  ,i take a     
handful of earth in my hands1 and into  
that dust ,i put seeds1 and arrows from 
the eternal quiver of the sun smite it1 
and the seeds grow and bud and blossom1 
and fill the air with perfume in my     
sight4  ,do you understand that8  ,do   
you understand how this dust and these  
seeds and that light and this moisture  
produced that bud and that flower and   
that perfume8  ,do you understand that  

any better than you do the production of
 thought8  ,do you understand that any  
better than you do a dream8 ,do you     
understand that any better than you do  
the thoughts of love that you see in the
 eyes of the one you adore8  ,can you   
explain it8 ,can you tell what matter   
is8  ,have you the slightest conception8
 ,yet you talk about matter as though   
you were acquainted with its origin2 as 
though you had compelled1 with clenched 
hands1 the very rocks to give up the    
secret of existence8  ,do you know what 
force is8 ,can you account for molecular
 action8  ,are you familiar with        
chemistry8 ,can you account for the     
loves and the hatreds of the atoms8  ,is
 there not something in matter that     
forever excludes you8 ,can you tell what
 matter really is8 ,before you cry      
materialism1 you had better find what   
matter is4  ,can you tell of anything   
without a material basis8  ,is it       
possible to imagine the annihilation of 
a single atom8  ,is it possible for you 

to conceive of the creation of a single 
atom8  ,can you have a thought that is  
not suggested to you by what you call   
matter8  ,did any man or woman or child 
ever have a solitary thought1 dream or  
conception1 that was not suggested to   
them by something they had seen in      
nature8 ,can you conceive of anything   
the different parts of which have been  
suggested to you by nature8  ,you can   
conceive of an animal with the hoofs of 
a bison1 with the pouch of a kangaroo1  
with the head of a buffalo1 with the    
tail of a lion1 with the scales of a    
fish1 with the wings of a bird1 and yet 
every part of this impossible monster   
has been suggested to you by nature4    
,you say time1 therefore you can think  
eternity4  ,you say pain1 therefore you 
can think hell4 ,you say strength1      
therefore you can think omnipotence4    
,you say wisdom1 therefore you can think
 infinite wisdom4 ,everything you see1  
everything you can dream of or think of1
 has been suggested to you by your      

surroundings1 by nature4  ,man cannot   
rise above nature2 below nature man     
cannot fall4  ,imagine1 if you please1  
the creation of a single atom4  ,can any
 one here imagine the creation out of   
nothing of one atom8  ,can any one here 
imagine the destruction of one atom8    
,can you imagine an atom being changed  
to nothing8  ,can you imagine nothing   
being changed to an atom8  ,there is not
 a solitary person here with an         
imagination strong enough to think      
either of the creation of an atom or of 
the annihilation of an atom4  ,matter   
and the universe are the same yesterday1
 today and forever4 ,there is just as   
much matter in the universe today as    
there ever was1 and as there ever will  
be2 there is just as much force and just
 as much energy as there ever was or    
ever will be2 but it is continually     
taking different shapes and forms2 one  
day it is a man1 another day it is      
animal1 another day it is earth1 another
 day it is metal1 another day it is gas1

 it gains nothing and it loses nothing4 
,our fathers denounced materialism and  
accounted for all phenomena how8  ,by   
the caprice of gods and devils4  ,for   
thousands of years it was believed that 
ghosts1 good ghosts1 bad ghosts1        
benevolent and malevolent1 in some      
mysterious way produced all phenomena2  
that disease and health1 happiness and  
misery1 fortune and misfortune1 peace   
and war1 life and death1 success and    
failure1 were but arrows shot by those  
ghosts or shadowy phantoms1 to reward or
 punish mankind2 that they were         
displeased or pleased by our actions1   
that they blessed the earth with harvest
 or cursed it with famine2 that they fed
 or starved the children of men2 that   
they crowned or uncrowned kings2 that   
they controlled war2 that they gave     
prosperous voyages1 allowing the brave  
mariner to meet his wife and children   
inside the harbor bar1 or strewed the   
sad shore with wrecks of ships and the  
bodies of men4  ,formerly these ghosts  

were believed to be almost innumerable4 
,earth1 air and water were filled with  
these phantoms1 but in modern times they
 have greatly decreased in number1      
because the second proposition that ,i  
stated1 the supernatural and the        
natural1 has generally been adopted1 but
 the remaining ghosts are supposed to   
perform the same functions as of yore4  
,let me say right here that the object  
of every religion ever made by man has  
been to get on the good side of supposed
 powers2 has been to petition the gods  
to stop the earthquakes1 to stop famine1
 to stop pestilence4  ,it has always    
been something that man should do to    
prevent being punished by the powers of 
the air or to get from them some favors4
 ,it has always been believed that these
 ghosts could in some way be appeased2  
that they could be bettered by          
sacrifices1 by prayer1 by fasting1 by   
the building of temples and cathedrals1 
by shedding the blood of men and beasts1
 by forms1 by ceremonies1 by kneelings1 

by prostrations and flagellations1 by   
living alone in the wild desert1 by the 
practice of celibacy1 by inventing      
instruments of torture1 by destroying   
men1 women and children1 by covering the
 earth with dungeons1 by burning        
unbelievers and by putting chains upon  
the thoughts and manacles upon the lips 
of men1 by believing things without     
evidence1 by believing things against   
evidence1 by disbelieving and denying   
demonstrations1 by despising facts1 by  
hating reason1 by discouraging          
investigation1 by making an idiot of    
yourself--all these have been done to   
appease the winged monsters of the air4 
,in the history of our poor world no    
horror has been omitted1 no infamy has  
been left undone by believers in ghosts1
 and all the shadows were born of       
cowardice and malignity2 they were      
painted by the pencil of fear upon the  
canvas of ignorance by that artist      
called ,superstition4 ,from these ghosts
 our fathers received their information4

  ,these ghosts were the schoolmasters  
of our ancestors4 ,they were the        
scientists1 the philosophers1 the       
geologists1 the legislators1 the        
astronomers1 the physicians1 the        
metaphysicians and historians of the    
past4  ,let me give you my definition of
 metaphysics1 that is to say1 the       
science of the unknown1 the science of  
guessing4  ,metaphysics is where two    
fools get together1 and each one admits 
that neither can prove1 and both say1   
,hence we infer4  ,that is the science  
of metaphysics4  ,for this these ghosts 
were supposed to have the only          
experience and real knowledge2 they     
inspired men to write books1 and the    
books were sacred4 ,if facts were found 
to be inconsistent with these books1 so 
much the worse for the facts1 and       
especially for the discoverers of these 
facts4 ,it was then and still is        
believed that these sacred books are the
 basis of the idea of immortality1 to   
give up the idea that these books were  

inspired is and to renounce the idea of 
immortal life4  ,i deny it6  ,men       
existed before books2 and all the books 
that were ever written were written1 in 
my judgment1 by men1 and the idea of    
immortality was not born of a book1 but 
was born of the man who wrote the book4 
,the idea of immortality1 like the great
 sea1 has ebbed and flowed in the human 
heart1 beating its countless waves of   
hope and joy against the shores of time1
 and was not born of any book1 nor of   
any religion1 nor of any creed2 it was  
born of human affection1 and it will    
continue to ebb and flow beneath the    
clouds and mists of doubt and darkness  
as long as love kisses the lips of      
death4  ,it is the rainbow of hope      
shining upon the tears of grief4  ,we   
love1 therefore we wish to live1 and the
 foundation of the idea of immortality  
is human affection and human love1 and  
,i have a thousand times more confidence
 in the affections of the human heart1  
in the deep and splendid feelings of the

 human soul than ,i have in any book    
that ever was or ever can be written by 
mortal man4  ,from the books written by 
those ghosts we have at least           
ascertained that they knew nothing      
whatever of the world in which we live4 
,did they know anything about any other8
  ,upon every point where contradiction 
is possible1 the ghosts have been       
contradicted4  ,by these ghosts1 by     
these citizens of the air1 by this      
aristocracy of the clouds the affairs of
 government were administered all       
authority to govern came from them4 ,the
 emperors1 kings and potentates1 every  
one of them1 had the divine petroleum   
poured upon his head1 the kerosene of   
authority4  ,the emperors1 king and     
potentates had communications from the  
phantoms4 ,man was not considered as the
 source of power2 to rebel against the  
king was to rebel against the ghosts1   
and nothing less than the blood of the  
offenders could appease the invisible   
phantoms and by the authority of the    

ghosts man was crushed and slayed and   
plundered4  ,many toiled wearily in the 
sun and storm that a few favorites of   
the ghosts might live in idleness1 and  
many lived in huts and caves and dens   
that the few might dwell in palaces1 and
 many clothed themselves with rags that 
a few might robe themselves in purple   
and gold1 and many crept and cringed and
 crawled that a few might tread upon    
their necks with feet of iron4 ,from the
 ghosts men received not only authority 
but information4 ,they told us the form 
of the earth2 they informed us that     
eclipses were caused by the sins of man1
 especially the failure to pay tithes   
that the universe was made in six days2 
that gazing at the sky with a telescope 
was dangerous2 that trying to be wise   
beyond what they had written was born of
 a rebellious and irreverent spirit2    
they told us there was no virtue like   
belief2 no crime like doubt1 that       
investigation was simply impudence1 and 
the punishment therefore violent        

torment2 they not only told us all about
 this world but about two others1 and if
 their statements about the other two   
are as true as they were about this1 no 
one can estimate the value of their     
information4  ,for countless ages the   
world was governed by ghosts1 and they  
spared no pains to change the eagle of  
the human intellect into a bat of       
darkness4 ,to accomplish this infamous  
purpose1 to drive the love of truth from
 the human heart2 to prevent the        
advancement of mankind to shut out from 
the world every ray of intellectual     
light to pollute every mind with        
superstition1 the power of kings1 the   
cunning and cruelty of priests1 and the 
wealth of nations were used4  ,in order 
to show you the information we got from 
the ghosts1 and the condition of the    
world when the ghosts were the kings1   
let me call your attention to this3     
,during these years of persecution1     
ignorance1 superstition and slavery1    
nearly all the people1 the kings1       

lawyers and doctors1 learned and        
unlearned1 believed in that frightful   
production of ignorance1 of fear and    
faith1 called witchcraft4  ,witchcraft  
today is religion carried out4  ,they   
believed that man was the sport and prey
 of devils2 that the very air was thick 
with these enemies of man1 and1 with few
 exceptions1 this hideous belief was    
universal4  ,under these conditions     
progress was almost impossible4  ,fear  
paralyzed the brain4  ,progress is born 
of courage4  ,fear believes1 courage    
doubts4  ,fear falls upon the earth and 
prays2 courage stands erect and thinks4 
,fear retreats2 courage advances4  ,fear
 is barbarism1 courage is civilization4 
,fear believes in witchcraft2 courage in
 science and in eternal law4  ,the facts
 upon which this terrible belief rested 
were proved over and over again in      
nearly every court in ,europe4          
,thousands confessed themselves guilty1 
admitted they had sold themselves to the
 devil4  ,they gave the particulars of  

the sale2 told what they said and what  
the devil replied4  ,they confessed     
themselves guilty when they knew that   
confession was death2 knew that their   
property would be confiscated and their 
children left to beg their bread4  ,this
 is one of the miracles of history1 one 
of the strangest contradictions of the  
human mind4 ,without doubt they really  
believed themselves guilty4  ,in the    
first place1 they believed in witchcraft
 as a fact1 and when charged with it1   
they became insane4  ,they had read the 
account of the witch of ,endor calling  
up the dead body of ,samuel4 ,he is an  
old man2 he has his mantle on4  ,they   
had read the account of ,saul stooping  
to the earth and conversing with the    
spirit that had been called from the    
region of space by a witch4  ,they had  
read a command from the ,almighty1 ,thou
 shalt not suffer a witch to live1 and  
they believed the world was full of     
witches1 or else the ,almighty ,would   
not have made a law against them4  ,they

 believed in witchcraft1 and when they  
were charged with it1 they probably     
became insane1 and in their insanity    
they confessed their guilt4 ,they found 
themselves abhorred and deserted1       
charged with a crime they could not     
disprove4  ,like a man in quicksand1    
every effort only sunk them deeper4     
,caught in this frightful web1 at the   
mercy of the devotees of superstition1  
hope fled and nothing remained but the  
insanity of confession4  ,the whole     
world appeared insane4  ,in the time of 
,james ,i1 a man was burned for causing 
a storm at sea1 with the intention of   
drowning one of the royal family1 but ,i
 do not think it would have been much of
 a crime if he had been really guilty4  
,how could he disprove it8  ,how could  
he show that he did not cause a storm at
 sea8  ,all storms were at that time    
supposed to be inspired by the devil2   
the people believed that all storms were
 caused by him1 or by persons whom he   
assisted4  ,i implore you to remember   

that the men who believed these things  
wrote our creeds and our confessions of 
faith1 and it is by their dust that ,i  
am asked to kneel and pay implicit      
homage1 instead of investigating2 and ,i
 implore you to recollect that they     
wrote our creeds4  ,a woman was tried   
and convicted before ,sir ,matthew      
,hale1 one of the greatest judges and   
lawyers of ,england1 for having caused  
children to vomit crooked pins4  ,think 
of that6  ,the learned judge charged the
 intelligent jury that there was no     
doubt as to the existence of witches1   
that it was established by all history  
and expressly taught by the ,bible4     
,the woman was hung and her body was    
burned4  ,sir ,thomas ,moore declared   
that to give up witchcraft was to throw 
away the sacred scriptures4  ,john      
,wesley1 too1 was a firm believer in    
ghosts1 and insisted upon their         
existence after all laws upon the       
subject had been repealed in ,england1  
and ,i beg of you to remember that ,john

 ,wesley was the founder of the         
,methodist ,church4  ,in ,new ,england a
 woman was charged with being a witch   
and with having changed herself into a  
fox2 while in that condition she was    
attacked and bitten by some dogs1 and a 
committee of three men was ordered by   
the ,court to examine this woman4 ,they 
removed her clothing1 and searched for  
what they were pleased to call          
witch-spots--that is to say1 spots into 
which a needle could be thrust without  
giving pain2 they reported to the ,court
 that such spots were found4  ,she      
denied that she had ever changed herself
 into a fox4 ,on the report of the      
committee she was found guilty1 and she 
was actually executed by our ,puritan   
fathers1 the gentlemen who braved the   
danger of the deep for the sake of      
worshiping ,god and persecuting their   
fellow men4  ,i belong to their blood1  
and the best thing ,i can say about     
them1 and that which rises like a white 
shaft to their eternal honor1 is that   

they were in favor of education4  ,a man
 was attacked by a wolf2 he defended    
himself and succeeded in cutting off one
 of the animal's paws1 and the wolf ran 
away2 he put it in his pocket and       
carried it home2 there he found his wife
 with one of her hands gone1 and he took
 that paw from his pocket and put it    
upon her arm1 and it assumed the        
appearance of a human hand1 and he      
charged his wife with being a witch4    
,she was tried1 she confessed her guilt1
 and she was hung and her body was      
burned6 ,my6 is it possible8  ,did not  
somebody say something against such an  
infamous proceeding8  ,yes1 they did6   
,there was a ,young ,men's ,association 
who invited a man to come and give his  
ideas upon the subject4  ,he denounced  
it4  ,he said it was outrageous1 that it
 was nonsensical1 that it was infamous  
and the moment he went away the young   
men met and passed a resolution that he 
had deceived them2 and the clergy at    
that time protested and said1 of course1

 let the man think1 if you call that    
kind of stuff thinking4  ,but there was 
one man belonging to this ,association  
who had the courage to stand by the     
truth4  ,whether he believed in what the
 speaker said or not1 he had that       
manliness2 and ,i take this opportunity 
to thank from the bottom of my heart a  
man4  ,i have no idea he agrees with me 
except in this3 ,whatever you do1 do it 
like a man and be honest about it4      
,people were burned for causing frost in
 summer2 for destroying crops with hail2
 for causing storms--for making cows go 
dry2 for souring beer2 for putting the  
devil in emptyings so that they would   
not rise4 ,the life of no one was       
secure4  ,to be charged was to be       
convicted4 ,every man was at the mercy  
of every other4  ,this infamous belief  
was so firmly seated in the minds of the
 people1 that1 to express a doubt as to 
its existence was to be suspected       
yourself4  ,they believed that animals  
were often taken possession of by       

devils1 and they believed that the      
killing of the animal would destroy the 
devil4  ,they absolutely tried1         
convicted and executed dumb beasts4  ,at
 ,vail1 in #adgj1 a rooster was tried   
upon the charge of having laid an egg1  
and the clergy said they had no doubt of
 it4  ,rooster eggs were used only in   
making witch-ointment4  ,this everybody 
knew4 ,the rooster was convicted1 and   
with all due solemnity1 he was burned in
 the public square4  ,so a hog and six  
pig died for having killed and partially
 eaten a child4 ,the hog was convicted1 
but the pigs1 on account of their       
extreme youth1 were acquitted4  ,as late
 as #agdj1 a cow1 charged with being    
possessed of a devil1 was tried and was 
convicted4  ,they used to exorcise rats1
 snakes and vermin2 they used to go     
through the alleys and streets and      
fields and warn them to leave within a  
certain number of days1 and if they did 
not leave1 they threatened them with    
certain pains and penalties which they  

proceeded to recount4  ,but let us be   
careful how we laugh about those things2
 let us not pride ourselves too much on 
the progress of our age4  ,we must not  
forget that some of our people are yet  
in the same intelligent business4  ,only
 a little while ago the ,governor of    
,minnesota appointed a day of fasting   
and prayer to see if the ,lord could not
 be induced to kill the grasshoppers--or
 send them into some other ,state4      
,about the close of the fifteenth       
century was the excitement in regard to 
witchcraft1 and ,pope ,innocent the     
,eighth issued a bull directing the     
inquisitors to be vigilant in searching 
out and punishing all guilty of this    
crime4  ,forms for the crime were       
regularly issued4  ,for two hundred and 
fifty years the church was busy in      
punishing the impossible crime of       
witchcraft by burning1 hanging and      
torturing men1 women and little         
children4  ,protestants were as active  
as ,catholics2 and in ,geneva five      

hundred witches were burned at the stake
 in three months1 and one thousand were 
executed in one year in the diocese of  
,couro2 at least one hundred thousand   
victims suffered in ,germany1 the last  
execution being in ,galesburgh1 and     
taking place in #agid1 and the last in  
,switzerland1 #aghj4 ,in ,england       
statutes were passed from ,henry ,,vi to
 ,james ,i1 defining the crime and      
punishment1 and the last act passed in  
the ,british ,parliament was when ,lord 
,bacon was a member of the house4  ,in  
#agaf ,mrs4 ,hicks and daughter1 nine   
years of age1 were hung for selling     
their souls to the devil2 and raising a 
storm at sea by pulling off their       
stockings and making a lather of soap4  
,in ,england it has been estimated that 
at least #cj1jjj were hung or burned4   
,the last victim executed in ,scotland  
was #agbb4  ,she was an innocent old    
woman who had so little idea of her     
condition1 that she rejoiced at the     
sight of the fire destined to consume   

her to ashes4  ,she had a daughter1 lame
 in her hands1 a circumstance accounted 
for from the fact that the witch had    
been used to transfer her daughter into 
a pony and get her shod by the devil6   
,intelligent ancestors6  ,in #afib      
nineteen persons were executed in       
,salem1 ,massachusetts1 for the crime of
 witchcraft4  ,it was thought in those  
days that men and women made contracts  
with the devil1 and those contracts were
 confirmed at a meeting of witches and  
ghosts1 over which the devil presided2  
these contracts in some cases were for a
 few years1 others for life4  ,general  
assemblages of witches were held once a 
year4  ,to these they rode from great   
distances on brooms and dogs1 and there 
they did homage to the prince of hell   
and offered him sacrifices4  ,in #ahcf  
the populace of ,holland plunged into   
the sea a woman reputed to be a         
sorceress1 and as the miserable woman   
persisted in rising to the surface1 she 
was pronounced guilty1 and was beaten to

 death4  ,it was believed that the devil
 could transform people into any shape  
he pleased1 and whoever denounced this  
idea was denounced as an ,infidel2 that 
the believers in witchcraft appealed to 
the devil2 that with the devil were     
associated innumerable spirits1 who     
ranged over the world endeavoring to    
torment mankind2 that these spirits     
possessed a power and wisdom            
transcending the limits of human        
faculties4  ,they believed the devil    
could carry persons hundreds of miles in
 a few seconds2 they believed this      
because they knew that ,christ had been 
carried by the devil1 in the same       
manner1 into a high mountain1 and placed
 upon a pinnacle4  ,according to their  
account1 the prince of the air had      
absolutely taken the ,god of this       
infinite ,universe1 the ,creator of all 
its shining1 wheeling stars--he had been
 absolutely taken by the devil to a     
pinnacle of the temple1 and there had   
been tempted by the devil to cast       

himself to the earth4  ,take from the   
church itself the threat and fear of    
hell and it becomes an extinct volcano4 
,with the doctrine of hell taken from   
the ,church1 that is the end of the fall
 of man1 that is the end of the scheme  
of atonement4  ,take from them the idea 
of an eternal place of torment1 and the 
,church is thrown back simply upon      
facts4  ,and ,dean ,stanley1 the leading
 ecclesiastic of ,great ,britain1 only  
the other day in ,winchester ,abbey1    
said science will be the only theology  
of the future4  ,morality is the only   
religion of the years to come4 ,not     
withstanding all the infamous things    
laid to the charge of the ,church1 we   
are told that the civilization of today 
is the child of what we are pleased to  
call superstition4 ,let me call your    
attention to what they received from    
their fears of these ghosts4  ,let me   
give you an outline of the sciences as  
taught by those philosophers4  ,there is
 one thing that a man is interested in1 

if he is in anything1 and that is in the
 science of medicine4  ,a doctor is1 so 
to speak1 in partnership with ,nature4  
,he is a preserver if he is worthy of   
the name4  ,and now ,i want to show what
 they have gotten from these ghosts upon
 the science of medicine4  ,according to
 them1 all of the diseases were produced
 as a punishment by the good ghosts1 or 
out of pure malignity by the bad ones4  
,there were1 properly speaking1 no      
diseases2 the sick were simply possessed
 by ghosts4  ,the science of medicine   
consisted in knowing how to persuade    
these ghosts to vacate the premises and 
for thousands of years all diseases were
 treated with incantations1 hideous     
noises1 with the beating of drums and   
gongs2 everything was done to make the  
position of a ghost as unpleasant as    
possible2 and they generally succeeded  
in making things so disagreeable that if
 the ghost did not leave1 the patient   
died4  ,these ghosts were supposed to be
 different in rank1 power and dignity4  

,now1 then1 a man pretended to have won 
the favor of some powerful ghost who    
gave him power over the little ones4    
,such a man became a very great         
physician4  ,it was found that a certain
 kind of smoke was exceedingly offensive
 to the nostrils of your ordinary ghost4
 ,with this smoke the sick room would be
 filled until the ghost vanished or the 
patient died4  ,it was also believed    
that certain words1 when properly       
pronounced1 were the most effective     
weapons1 for it was for a long time     
supposed that ,latin words were the     
best1 ,i suppose because ,latin was a   
dead language4  ,for thousands of years 
medicine consisted in driving the devils
 out of men4  ,in some instances        
bargains and promises were made with the
 ghosts4  ,one case is given where a    
multitude of devils traded a man off for
 a herd of swine4  ,in this transaction 
the devils were the losers1 the swine   
having immediately drowned themselves in
 the sea4  ,this idea of disease appears

 to have been almost universal and is   
not yet extinct4  ,the contortions of   
the epileptic1 the strange twitching of 
those afflicted with cholera1 were all  
seized as proof that the bodies of men  
were filled with vile and malignant     
spirits4  ,whoever endeavored to account
 for these things by natural causes2    
whoever endeavored to cure disease by   
natural means was denounced as an       
,infidel4 ,to explain anything was a    
crime4  ,it was to the interest of the  
sacerdotal class that all things should 
be accounted for by the will and power  
of ,god and the devil4  ,the moment it  
is admitted that all phenomena are      
within the domain of the natural1 and   
that all the prayers in the world cannot
 change one solitary fact1 the necessity
 for the priest disappears4  ,religion  
breathes the idea of miracles4  ,take   
from the minds of men the idea of the   
supernatural1 and superstition ceases to
 exist2 for this reason the ,church has 
always despised the man who explains the

 wonderful4  ,the moment that it began  
to be apparent that prayer could do     
nothing for the body1 the priest shifted
 his ground and began praying for the   
soul4  ,after the devil was             
substantially abandoned in the practice 
of medicine1 and when it was admitted   
that ,god had nothing to do with        
ordinary coughs and colds1 it was still 
believed that all the diseases were sent
 by ,him as punishment for the people2  
it was thought to be a kind of blasphemy
 to even stay the ravages of pestilence4
  ,formerly1 when a pestilence fell upon
 a people1 the arguments of the priest  
were boundless4  ,he told the people    
that they had refused to pay their      
tithes1 and they had doubted some of the
 doctrines of the church1 that in their 
hearts they had contempt for some of the
 priests of the ,lord1 and ,god was now 
taking his revenge1 and the people1 for 
the most part1 believed this issue of   
falsehood1 and hastened to fall upon    
their knees and to pour out their wealth

 upon the altars of hypocrisy4  ,the    
,church never wanted disease to be      
absolutely under the control of man4    
,timothy ,dwight1 president of ,yale    
,college1 preached a sermon against     
vaccination4  ,his idea was that if ,god
 had decreed that through all eternity  
certain men should die of small pox1 it 
was a frightful sin to endeavor to      
prevent it2 that plagues and pestilence 
were instruments in the hands of ,god   
with which to gain the love and worship 
of mankind2 to find the cure for the    
disease was to take the punishment from 
the ,church4  ,no one tries to cure the 
ague with prayer because quinine has    
been found to be altogether more        
reliable4  ,just as soon as a specific  
is found for a disease1 that disease is 
left out of the list of prayer4 ,the    
number of diseases with which ,god from 
time to time afflicts mankind is        
continually decreasing1 because the     
number of diseases that man can cure is 
continually increasing4  ,in a few years

 all diseases will be under the control 
of man4  ,the science of medicine has   
but one enemy--superstition4  ,man was  
afraid to save his body for fear he     
would lose his soul4  ,is it any wonder 
that the people in those days believed  
in and taught the infamous doctrine of  
eternal punishment1 that makes ,god a   
heartless monster and man a slimy       
hypocrite and slave8  ,the ghosts were  
also historians1 and wrote the grossest 
absurdities4 ,they wrote as though they 
had been eye witnesses of every         
occurrence4 ,they told all the past1    
they predicted all the future1 with an  
impudence that amounted to sublimity4   
,they said that the ,tartars originally 
came from hell1 and that they were      
called ,tartars because that was one of 
the names of hell4  ,these gentlemen    
accounted for the red on the breasts of 
robins from the fact that those birds   
used to carry water to the unhappy      
infants in hell4  ,other eminent        
historians say that ,nero was in the    

habit of vomiting frogs4  ,when ,i read 
that1 ,i said some of the croakers of   
the present day would be better for such
 a vomit4  ,others say that the walls of
 a city fell down in answer to prayer4  
,they tell us that ,king ,arthur was not
 born like other mortals2 that he had   
great luck in killing giants2 that one  
of the giants that he killed wore       
clothes woven from the beards of kings  
that he had slain1 and1 to cap the      
climax1 the authors of this history were
 rewarded for having written the only   
reliable history of their country4      
,these are the men from whom we get our 
creeds and our confessions of faith4    
,in all the histories of those days     
there is hardly a truth4  ,facts were   
not considered of any importance4  ,they
 wrote1 and the people believed that the
 tracks of ,pharaoh's chariot were still
 visible upon the sands of the ,red     
,sea1 and that they had been            
miraculously preserved as perpetual     
witnesses of the miracles that had been 

performed1 and they said to any man who 
denied it1 ,go there and you will find  
the tracks still upon the sand4  ,they  
accounted for everything as the work of 
good and evil spirits2 with cause and   
effect they had nothing to do4 ,facts   
were in no way related to each other4   
,god1 governed by infinite caprice1     
filled the world with miracles and      
disconnected events1 and from his quiver
 came the arrows of pestilence and      
death4  ,the moment the idea is         
abandoned that everything in this       
universe is natural--that all phenomena 
are the necessary links in the endless  
chain of being--the conception of       
history becomes impossible that the     
ghost of the present is not the child of
 the past2 the present is not the mother
 of the future4 ,in the domain of       
superstition all is accident and        
caprice2 and do not1 ,i pray you1 forget
 that the writers of our creeds and     
confessions of faith believed this to be
 a world of chance4 ,nothing happens by 

accident2 nothing happens by chance4    
,in the wide universe everything is     
necessarily produced1 every effect has  
behind it a cause1 every effect is in   
its turn a cause1 and there is in the   
wide domain of the infinite not room    
enough for a miracle4  ,when ,i say     
this1 ,i mean this is my idea4  ,i may  
be wrong1 but that is my idea4  ,it was 
believed by our intelligent ancestors   
that all law derived its greatness and  
force from the fact that it had been    
communicated to man by ghosts4  ,of     
course1 it is not pretended that the    
ghosts told everybody the law1 but they 
told it to a few1 and the few told it to
 the people1 and the people1 as a rule1 
paid them exceedingly well for the      
trouble4  ,it was a long time before the
 people commenced making laws for       
themselves1 and1 strange as it may      
appear1 most of their laws are vastly   
superior to the ghost article4 ,through 
the web and woof of human legislation   
gradually began to run and shine and    

glitter the golden thread of justice4   
,during these years of darkness it was  
believed that1 rather than see an act of
 injustice done1 rather than see the    
guilty triumph1 some ghost would        
interfere and ,i do wish1 from the      
bottom of my heart1 that that was the   
truth4  ,there never was forced upon my 
heart a more frightful conviction than  
this--the right does not always prevail2
 there never was forced upon my mind a  
more cruel conclusion than              
this--innocence is not always a         
sufficient shield4 ,i wish it was4  ,i  
wish1 too1 that man suffered nothing but
 that which he brings upon himself and  
yet ,i find that in nine districts in   
,india1 between the #ast day of last    
,january and the #ast day of ,june1     
#b1hjj1jjj people starved to death1 and 
that little children1 with their lips   
upon the breasts of famine1 died1 wasted
 away4 ,and why1 simply because a little
 while before the wind did not veer the 
one hundredth part of a degree1 and send

 clouds over the country1 freighted with
 rain1 freighted with love and joy4     
,but if that wind had just turned that  
way there would have been happy men1    
women and children1 all clad in the     
garments of health4  ,i wish that ,i    
could know in my heart that there was   
some power that would see to it that men
 and women got exact justice somewhere4 
,i do wish that ,i knew--the right would
 prevail--that innocence was an infinite
 shield4  ,during these years it was    
believed that rather than see an act of 
injustice done some ghost would         
interfere4  ,this belief1 as a rule1    
gave great satisfaction to the          
victorious party1 and1 as the other man 
was dead1 no complaint was ever made by 
him4  ,this doctrine was a              
sanctification of brute force and       
chance4  ,prisoners were made to grasp  
hot irons1 and if it burned them their  
guilt was established4  ,others were    
tied hands and feet and cast into the   
sea1 and if they sank1 the verdict of   

guilt was unanimous2 if they did not    
sink then they said water is such a pure
 element that it refuses to take a      
guilty person1 and consequently he is a 
witch or wizard4  ,why1 in ,england1    
persons accused of crime could appeal to
 the cross1 and to a piece of           
sacramental bread4  ,if he could swallow
 this without choking he was acquitted4 
,and this practice was continued until  
the time of ,king ,edward1 who was      
choked to death2 after which it was     
discontinued4  ,ghosts and their        
followers always took delight in        
torturing with unusual pain any         
infraction of their laws1 and generally 
death was the penalty4 ,sometimes1 when 
a man committed only murder1 he was     
permitted to flee to a place of         
refuge--murder being only a crime       
against man--but for saying certain     
words1 or denying certain doctrines1 or 
for worshiping wrong ghosts1 or for     
failing to pray to the right one1 or for
 laughing at a priest1 or for saying    

that wine was not blood1 or bread was   
not flesh1 or for failing to regard     
rams' horns as artillery1 or for saying 
that a raven as a rule1 was a poor      
landlord1 death1 produced by all the    
ways that ingenuity or hatred could     
devise1 was the penalty suffered by     
these men4  ,i tell you tonight law is a
 growth2 law is a science4 ,right and   
wrong exist in the nature of things4    
,things are not right because they are  
commanded2 they are not wrong because   
they are prohibited4  ,they are         
prohibited because we believe them      
wrong2 they are commended because we    
believe them right4  ,there are real    
crimes enough without creating          
artificial ones4  ,all progress in      
legislation for a thousand years has    
consisted in repealing the laws of the  
ghosts4  ,the idea of right and wrong is
 born of man's capacity to enjoy and    
suffer4  ,if man could not suffer1 if he
 could not inflict injury upon his      
brother1 if he could neither feel nor   

inflict punishment1 the idea of law1 the
 idea of right1 the idea of wrong1 never
 could have entered into his brain4  ,if
 man could not suffer1 if he could not  
inflict suffering1 the word conscience  
never would have passed the lips of man4
  ,there is one good--happiness4 ,there 
is one sin--selfishness4  ,all laws     
should be for the preservation of the   
one and the destruction of the other4   
,under the regime of the ghosts the laws
 were not understood to exist in the    
nature of things2 they were supposed to 
be irresponsible commands1 and these    
commands were not supposed to rest upon 
reason2 they were simply the product of 
arbitrary will4  ,these penalties for   
the violations of those laws were as    
cruel as the penalties were absurd4     
,there were over two hundred offenses   
for which man was punished with death4  
,think of it6 ,and these laws are said  
to have come from a most merciful ,god4 
,and yet we have become civilized to    
that degree in this country that in the 

,state of ,new ,york there is only one  
crime punishable with death4 ,think of  
it6  ,did ,i not tell you that we were  
now civilizing our gods8  ,the tendency 
of those horrible laws1 the tendency of 
those frightful penalties1 was to blot  
the idea of justice from the human soul4
  ,now1 ,i want to show you how         
perfectly every department of human     
knowledge1 or rather of ignorance1 was  
saturated with superstition4  ,i will   
for a moment refer to the science of    
language4  ,it was thought by our       
fathers that ,hebrew was the original   
language2 that it was taught to ,adam   
and ,eve in the ,garden of ,eden by the 
,almighty himself4  ,every fact         
inconsistent with that idea was thrown  
away4 ,according to the ghosts1 the     
trouble at the ,tower of ,babel         
accounted for the fact that all the     
people did not speak the ,hebrew        
language4  ,the ,babel question settled 
all questions in the science of         
language4  ,after a time so many facts  

were found to be so inconsistent with   
the ,hebrew idea that it began to fall  
into disrepute1 and other languages     
began to be used4  ,andrew ,kent        
published a work on the science of      
language1 in which he stated that ,god  
spoke to ,adam1 and ,adam answered1 in  
,hebrew1 and that the serpent probably  
spoke to ,eve in ,french4  ,in #aehj    
another celebrated work was published at
 ,antwerp1 in which the whole matter was
 put at rest1 showing beyond a doubt    
that the language spoken in ,paradise   
was neither more nor less than plain    
,holland ,dutch4  ,another celebrated   
writer1 a contemporary of ,sir ,isaac   
,newton1 discouraged the idea that all  
languages could be traced to one2 he    
maintained that language was of natural 
growth2 that we speak as naturally as we
 grow2 we talk as naturally as sings a  
bird1 or as blooms and blossoms a       
flower4 ,experience teaches us that this
 be so2 words are continually dying and 
continually may being born--words are   

the garments of thought4  ,through the  
lapse of time some were as rude as the  
skins of wild beasts1 and others        
pleasing and cultured like silk and     
gold4  ,words have been born of hatred  
and revenge1 of love and self sacrifice 
and fear1 of agony and joy the stars    
have fashioned them1 and in them mingled
 the darkness and the dawn4  ,every word
 that we get from the past is1 so to    
speak1 a mummy robed in the linen of the
 grave4  ,they are the crystallizations 
of human history1 of all that man       
enjoyed1 of all that man has suffered1  
his victories and defeats1 all that he  
has lost and won4  ,words are the       
shadows of all that has been2 they are  
the mirrors of all that is4 ,the ghosts 
also enlightened our fathers in         
astronomy and geology4 ,according to    
them the world was made out of nothing1 
and a little more nothing having been   
taken than was used in the construction 
of the world1 the stars were made out of
 the scraps that were left over4        

,cosmos1 in the sixth century1 taught   
that the stars were impelled by angels1 
who carried them upon their shoulders1  
rolled them in front of them1 or drew   
them after4 ,he also taught that each   
angel who pushed a star took great pains
 to observe what the other angels were  
doing1 so that the relative distances   
between the stars might always remain   
the same4  ,he stated that this world   
was a vast body of water1 with a strip  
of land on the outside2 that ,adam and  
,eve lived on the outer strip2 that     
their descendants were drowned on the   
outer strip1 all except ,noah and his   
family2 he accounted for night and day  
by saying that on the outer strip of    
land was a mountain1 around which the   
sun revolved1 producing darkness when it
 was hidden from sight1 and daylight    
when it emerged2 he also declared the   
earth to be flat4 ,this he proved by    
many passages from the ,bible2 among    
other reasons for believing the earth to
 be flat he referred to a passage in the

 ,new ,testament1 which says that       
,christ shall come again in glory and   
power1 and every eye shall see him1 and 
said1 now1 if the world is round how are
 the people on the other side going to  
see ,christ when he comes8  ,that       
settled the question1 and the church not
 only indorsed this book but declared   
that whoever believed either less or    
more was a heretic and would be dealt   
with as such4  ,in those blessed days   
ignorance was a king and science was an 
outcast4 ,the church knew that the      
moment the earth ceased to be the center
 of the universe1 and became a mere     
speck in the starry sphere of existence1
 every religion would become a thing of 
the past4 ,in the name and by the       
authority of the ghosts1 men enslaved   
their fellowmen2 they trampled upon the 
rights of women and children4  ,in the  
name and by the authority of ghosts1    
they bought and sold each other4  ,they 
filled heaven with tyrants and the earth
 with slaves4 ,they filled the present  

with intolerance and the future with    
horror4 ,in the name and by the         
authority of the ghosts1 they declared  
superstition to be the real religion4   
,in the name and by the authority of the
 ghosts1 they imprisoned the human mind2
 they polluted the conscience1 they     
subverted justice1 and they sainted     
hypocrisy4  ,i have endeavored in some  
degree to show you what has been and    
always will be when men are governed by 
superstition4  ,when they destroy the   
sublime standard of reason2 when they   
take the words of others and do not     
investigate them themselves1 even the   
great men of those days appear nearly as
 weak as the most ignorant4  ,one of the
 greatest men of the world1 an          
astronomer second to none1 discoverer of
 the three great laws that explain the  
solar system1 was an astrologer and     
believed that he could predict the      
career of a man by finding what star was
 in the ascendant at his birth4  ,he    
believed in what is called the music of 

the spheres1 and he ascribed the        
qualities of the music--alto1 bass1     
tenor and treble--to certain of the     
planets4 ,another man kept an idiot1    
whose words he put down and then put    
them together in such a manner as to    
make promises1 and waited patiently to  
see that they were fulfilled4  ,luther  
believed he had actually seen the devil 
and discussed points of theology with   
him4  ,the human mind was enchained4    
,every idea1 almost1 was a mystery4     
,facts were looked upon as worthless2   
only the wonderful was worth preserving4
  ,devils were thought to be the most   
industrious beings in the universe1 and 
with these imps every occurrence of an  
unusual character was connected4 ,there 
was no order1 certainty2 everything     
depended upon ghosts and phantoms1 and  
man1 for the most part1 considered      
himself at the mercy of malevolent      
spirits4 ,he protected himself as best  
he could with holy water1 and with      
tapers1 and wafers1 and cathedrals4  ,he

 made noises to frighten the ghosts and 
music to charm them2 he fasted when he  
was hungry and he feasted when he was   
not2 he believed everything             
unreasonable2 he humbled himself2 he    
crawled in the dust2 he shut the doors  
and windows2 and excluded every ray of  
light from his soul2 and he delayed not 
a day to repair the walls of his own    
prison2 and from the garden of the human
 heart they plucked and trampled into   
the bloody dust the flowers and         
blossoms2 they denounced man as totally 
depraved2 they made reason blasphemy2   
they made pity a crime2 nothing so      
delighted them as painting the torments 
and tortures of the damned4 ,over the   
worm that never dies they grew poetic4  
,according to them1 the cries ascending 
from hell were the perfume of heaven4   
,they divided the world into saints and 
sinners1 and all the saints were going  
to heaven1 and all the sinners yonder4  
,now1 then1 you stand in the presence of
 a great disaster4  ,a house is on fire1

 and there is seen at a window the      
frightened face of a woman with a babe  
in her arms1 appealing for help2        
humanity cries out3 ,will someone go to 
the rescue8  ,they do not ask for a     
,methodist1 a ,baptist1 or a ,catholic2 
they ask for a man2 all at once there   
starts from the crowd one that nobody   
ever suspected of being a saint2 one may
 be1 with a bad reputation2 but he goes 
up the ladder and is lost in the smoke  
and flame2 and a moment after he        
emerges1 and the great circles of flame 
hiss around him2 in a moment more he has
 reached the window2 in another moment1 
with the woman and child in his arms1 he
 reaches the ground and gives his       
fainting burden to the bystanders and   
the people all stand hushed for a       
moment1 as they always do at such times1
 and then the air is rent with          
acclamations4  ,tell me that that man is
 going to be sent to hell1 to eternal   
flames1 who is willing to risk his life 
rather than a woman and child should    

suffer from the fire one moment6  ,i    
despise that doctrine of hell6  ,any man
 that believes in eternal hell is       
afflicted with at least two             
diseases--petrifaction of the heart and 
petrifaction of the brain4  ,i have seen
 upon the field of battle a boy sixteen 
years of age struck by a fragment of a  
shell2 ,i have seen him fall2 ,i have   
seen him die with a curse upon his lips 
and the face of his mother in his heart4
 ,tell me that his soul will be hurled  
from the field of battle where he lost  
his life that his country might         
live--where he lost his life for the    
liberties of man--tell me that he will  
be hurled from that field to eternal    
torment6  ,i pronounce it an infamous   
lie4  ,and yet1 according to these      
gentlemen1 that is to be the fate of    
nearly all the splendid fellows in this 
world4  ,i had in my possession a little
 while ago a piece of fresco that used  
to adorn a church at                    
,stratford-on-,avon1 the place where    

,shakespeare lived1 and there was a     
picture representing the morning of the 
resurrection and people were getting out
 of their graves and devils were        
grabbing them by their heels4  ,and     
there was an immense monster1 with jaws 
open so wide that a man could walk down 
its throat1 and the flames were issuing 
therefrom1 and there were devils driving
 people in droves down the throat of    
this monster2 and there was an immense  
kettle in which they had put these men1 
and the fire was being stirred under it1
 and hot pitch was being poured on top1 
and little devils were setting it on    
fire and then on the walls there were   
hundreds hung up by their tongues to    
hooks and nails2 and then the           
saved--there were some five or six      
saved--upon the horizon1 and they had a 
most self-satisfied grin of ,i told you 
so4  ,at the risk of being tiresome1 ,i 
have said that ,i have to show the      
direction of the human mind in slavery1 
the effects of widespread ignorance1 and

 the result of fear4  ,i want to        
convince you that every form of slavery1
 physical or mental1 is a viper that    
will finally fill with poison the breast
 of any man alive4  ,i want to show you 
that there should be republicanism in   
the domain of thought as well as in     
civil government4  ,the first step      
toward progress is for man to cease to  
be the slave of the creatures of his    
creation4 ,men found at last that the   
event is more valuable than the         
prophecy1 especially if it never comes  
to pass4  ,they found that diseases were
 not produced by spirits2 that they     
could not be cured by frightening them  
away4  ,they found that death was as    
natural as life4  ,they began to study  
the anatomy and chemistry of the human  
body1 and they found that all was       
natural1 and the conjurer and the       
sorcerer were dismissed1 and the        
physician and surgeon were employed4    
,they learned that being born under a   
star or planet had nothing to do with   

their luck2 the astrologer was          
discharged and the astronomer took his  
place4  ,they found that the world had  
swept through the constellation for     
millions of ages4  ,they found that     
diseases were produced as easily as     
grass1 and were not sent as punishment  
on men for failing to believe a creed4  
,they found that man1 through           
intelligence1 could take advantage of   
the affairs of nature2 that he could    
make the waves1 the winds1 the flames1  
and the lightnings slaves at his bidding
 to administer to his wants2 they found 
the ghosts knew nothing of benefit to   
man2 that they were entirely ignorant of
 history2 that they were bad doctors and
 worse surgeons2 that they knew nothing 
of the law and less of justice that they
 were poor politicians2 that they were  
tyrants1 and that they were without     
brains and utterly destitute of hearts4 
,the condition of this world during the 
dark ages shows exactly the result of   
enslaving the souls of men4  ,in those  

days there was no liberty4  ,liberty was
 despised1 and the laborer was          
considered but little above the beast4  
,ignorance1 like a vast cowl1 covered   
the brain of the world2 superstition ran
 riot1 and credulity sat upon the throne
 of the soul4  ,murder and hypocrisy    
were the companions of man1 and industry
 was a slave4  ,every country maintained
 that it was no robbery to take the     
property of ,mohammedans by force1 and  
no murder to kill the owner4  ,lord     
,bacon was the first man who maintained 
that a ,christian country was bound to  
keep its plighted faith with a          
,mohammedan nation4 ,every man who could
 read or write was suspected of being a 
heretic in those days4  ,only one person
 in #dj1jjj could read or write4  ,all  
thought was discouraged4  ,the whole    
earth was ruled by the mitre and        
sceptre1 by the altar and throne1 by    
fear and force1 by ignorance and faith1 
by ghouls and ghosts4  ,in the #aeth    
century the following law was in force  

in ,england3  ,whosoever reads the      
,scripture in the mother tongue shall   
forfeit land1 cattle1 life and goods1   
for themselves and their heirs forever1 
and should be condemned for heretics to 
,god1 enemies to the crown1 and traitors
 to the land4  ,during the period this  
law was in force1 thirty-nine were      
hanged and their bodies burned4  ,in the
 #afth century men were burned because  
they failed to kneel to a procession of 
monks4  ,even the ,reformers1 so called1
 had no idea of liberty only when in the
 minority2 the moment they were clothed 
with power1 they began to exterminate   
with fire and sword4  ,castillo--and ,i 
want you to recollect it--was the first 
minister in the world that declared in  
favor of universal toleration4 ,castillo
 was pursued by ,john ,calvin like a    
wild beast4  ,calvin said that such a   
monstrous doctrine he crucified ,christ 
afresh1 and they pursued that man until 
he died2 recollect it6  ,they can't do  
that now-a-days6  ,you don't know how   

splendid ,i feel about the liberty ,i   
have4  ,the horizon is filled with glory
 and the air is filled with wings4  ,if 
there are any in this world who think   
they had better not tell what they      
really think because it will take bread 
from their little children1 because it  
will take clothing from their           
families--don't do it6 don't make       
martyrs of yourselves6  ,i don't believe
 in martyrdom6 ,go right along with     
them2 go to church and say amen as near 
the right place as you can4  ,i will do 
your talking for you4  ,they can't take 
the bread away from me4  ,i will talk4  
,bodemus1 a lawyer of ,france1 wrote a  
few words in favor of freedom of        
conscience4 ,montaigne was the first to 
raise his voice against torture in      
,france2 but what was the voice of one  
man against the terrible cry of         
ignorant1 infatuated1 malevolent        
millions6  ,i intend to do what little  
,i can1 and ,i am going to do it kindly4
  ,i am going to appeal to reason and to

 charity1 to justice1 to science1 and to
 the future4 ,for my part1 ,i glory in  
the fact that in the ,new ,world1 in the
 ,united ,states1 liberty of conscience 
was first granted to man1 and that the  
,constitution of the ,united ,states was
 the first great decree entered in the  
high court of human equity forever      
divorcing ,church and ,state4 ,it is the
 grandest step ever taken by the human  
race and the ,declaration of            
,independence was the first document    
that retired ghosts from politics4  ,it 
is the first document that said         
authority does not come from the        
phantoms of the air2 authority is not   
from that direction2 it comes from the  
people themselves4  ,the ,declaration of
 ,independence enthroned man and        
dethroned the phantoms4  ,you will ask  
what has caused this change in three    
hundred years4  ,i answer1 the          
inventions and discoveries of the few2  
the brave thoughts and heroic utterances
 of the few2 the acquisition of a few   

facts2 getting acquainted with our      
mother1 ,nature4 ,besides this1 you must
 remember that every wrong in some way1 
tends to abolish itself4  ,it is hard to
 make a lie last always4 ,a lie will not
 fit the truth2 it will only fit another
 lie told on purpose to fit it4 ,nothing
 but truth lives4  ,the nobles and the  
kings quarreled2 the priests began to   
dispute1 and the millions began to get  
their rights4  ,in #adda printing was   
discovered4  ,at that time the past was 
a vast cemetery1 without an epitaph4    
,the ideas of men had mostly perished in
 the brains that had produced them4     
,printing gives an opening for thought2 
it preserves ideas2 it made it possible 
for a man to bequeath to the world the  
wealth of his thoughts4  ,about the same
 time1 or a little before1 the ,moors   
had gone into ,europe1 and it can be    
truthfully said that science was thrust 
into the brain of ,europe upon the point
 of a ,moorish lance4 ,they gave us     
paper1 and what is printing without     

paper8  ,a bird without wings4  ,i tell 
you paper has been a splendid thing4    
,the discovery of ,america1 whose shores
 were trod by the restless feet of      
adventure and the people of every       
nation--out of this strange mingling of 
facts and fancies came the great        
,republic4 ,every fact has pushed a     
superstition from the brain and a ghost 
from the cloud4  ,every mechanical art  
is an educator2 every loom1 every       
reaper1 every mower1 every steamboat1   
every locomotive1 every engine1 every   
press1 every telegraph is a missionary  
of science and an apostle of progress2  
every mill1 every furnace with its      
wheels and levers1 in which something is
 made for the convenience1 for the use  
and the comfort and the well-being of   
man1 is my kind of church1 and every    
schoolhouse is a temple4 ,education is  
the most radical thing in this world4   
,to teach the alphabet is to inaugurate 
a revolution2 to build a schoolhouse is 
to construct a fort2 every library is an

 arsenal filled with the weapons and    
ammunition of progress2 every fact is a 
monitor with sides of iron and a turret 
of steel4  ,i thank the inventors and   
discoverers4 ,i thank ,columbus and     
,magellan4  ,i thank ,locke and ,hume1  
,bacon and ,shakespeare4 ,i thank       
,fulton and ,watt1 ,franklin and ,morse1
 who made lightning the messenger of    
man4  ,i thank ,luther for protesting   
against the abuses of the ,church1 but  
denounce him because he was an enemy of 
liberty4 ,i thank ,calvin for writing a 
book in favor of religious freedom1 but 
,i abhor him because he burned          
,servetus4  ,i thank the ,puritans for  
saying that resistance to tyrants is    
obedience to ,god1 and yet ,i am        
compelled to admit that they were       
tyrants themselves4  ,i thank ,thomas   
,paine because he was a believer in     
liberty4  ,i thank ,voltaire1 that great
 man who for half a century was the     
intellectual monarch of ,europe1 and    
who1 from his throne at the foot of the 

,alps1 pointed the finger of scorn at   
every hypocrite in ,christendom4  ,i    
thank the inventors1 ,i thank the       
discoverers1 the thinkers and the       
scientists1 and ,i thank the honest     
millions who have toiled4  ,i thank the 
brave men with brave thoughts4 ,they are
 the ,atlases upon whose broad and      
mighty shoulders rests the grand fabric 
of civilization2 they are the men who   
have broken1 and are still breaking1 the
 chains of superstition4  ,we are       
beginning to learn that to swap off a   
superstition for a fact1 to ascertain   
the real1 is to progress4  ,all that    
gives us better bodies and minds and    
clothes and food and pictures1 grander  
music1 better heads1 better hearts1 and 
that makes us better husbands and wives 
and better citizens1 all these things   
combined produce what we call the       
progress of the human race4  ,man       
advances only as he overcomes the       
obstacles of nature4  ,it is done by    
labor and thought4  ,labor is the       

foundation4 ,without great labor it is  
impossible to progress4  ,without labor 
on the part of those who conduct all    
great industries of life1 of those who  
battle with the obstacles of the sea1 on
 the part of the inventors1 the         
discoverers1 and the brave1 heroic      
thinkers1 no surplus is produced2 and   
from the surplus produced by labor1     
spring the schools and universities1 the
 painters1 the sculptors1 the poets1 the
 hopes1 the loves and the aspirations of
 the world4  ,the surplus has given us  
the books4  ,it has given us all there  
is of beauty and eloquence4  ,i am aware
 there is a vast difference of opinion  
as to what progress is1 and that many   
denounce my ideas4 ,i know there are    
many worshipers of the past4  ,they see 
no beauty in anything from which they do
 not blow the dust of ages with the     
breath of praise4 ,they see nothing like
 the ancients2 no orators1 poets or     
statesmen like those who have been dust 
for thousands of years4  ,in a sermon on

 a certain evening1 some time ago1 the  
,rev4 ,dr4 ,magee of ,albany1 ,n4 ,y41  
stated that ,colonel ,ingersoll1        
referring to ,jesus ,christ1 called him 
a dirty little ,jew4  ,i denounce that  
as a dirty little lie4  ,i have as much 
reverence for any man who ever did what 
he believed was right1 and died in order
 to benefit mankind1 as any man in this 
world4 ,do they treat an opponent with  
fairness8  ,are they investigating8  ,do
 they pull forward or do they hold back8
  ,is science indebted to the ,church   
for a single fact8  ,let us know what it
 is4  ,what church has been the asylum  
for a persecuted truth8 ,what reform has
 been inaugurated by the ,church8  ,did 
the ,church abolish slavery8  ,no4  ,who
 commenced it8 ,such men as ,garrison   
and ,pillsbury and ,wendel ,phillips4   
,they were the titans that attacked the 
monster1 and not a solitary one of them 
ever belonged to a church4  ,has the    
,church raised its voice against war8   
,no4 ,are men restrained by             

superstition8  ,are men restrained by   
what you call religion8  ,i used to     
think they were not2 now ,i admit they  
are4  ,no man has ever been restrained  
from the commission of a real crime1 but
 from an artificial one he has4  ,there 
was a man who committed murder4  ,they  
got the evidence1 but he confessed that 
he did it4  ,what did you do it for8    
,money4   ,did you get any money8  ,yes4
  ,how much8 ,fifteen cents4   ,what    
kind of a man was he8  ,a laboring man  
,i killed4  ,what did you do with the   
money8   ,i bought liquor with it4 ,did 
he have anything else8 ,i think he had  
some meat and bread4 ,what did you do   
with that8   ,i ate the bread and threw 
away the meat2 it was ,friday4  ,so you 
see it will restrain in some things4    
,just to the extent that man has freed  
himself from the dominion of ghosts he  
has advanced2 to that extent he has     
freed himself from the tyrant's poison4 
,man has found that he must give liberty
 to others in order to have it himself4 

,he has found that a master is a slave2 
that a tyrant is also a slave4  ,he has 
found that governments should be        
administered by men for men2 that the   
rights of all are to be protected2 that 
woman is at least the equal for man2    
that men existed before books2 that all 
creeds were made by men2 that the few   
have a right to contradict what the     
pulpit asserts2 that man is responsible 
to himself and to others4  ,true        
religion must be free2 without liberty  
the brain is a dungeon and the mind the 
convict4  ,the slave may bow and cringe 
and crawl1 but he cannot worship1 he    
cannot adore4  ,true religion is the    
perfume of the free and grateful air4   
,true religion is the subordination of  
the passions to the intellect4  ,it is  
not a creed2 it is a life4  ,the theory 
that is afraid of investigation is not  
deserving of a place in the human mind4 
,i do not pretend to tell what all the  
truth is4  ,i do not pretend to have    
fathomed the abyss1 nor to have floated 

on outstretched wings level with the    
heights of thought4  ,i simply plead for
 freedom4 ,i denounce the cruelties and 
horrors of slavery4  ,i ask for light   
and air for the souls of men4  ,i say1  
take off those chains--break those      
manacles--free those limbs--release that
 brain4  ,i plead for the right to      
think--to reason--to investigate4  ,i   
ask that the future may be enriched with
 the honest thoughts of men4  ,i implore
 every human being to be a soldier in   
the army of progress4  ,i will not      
invade the rights of others4  ,you have 
no right to erect your toll-gates upon  
the highways of thought4  ,you have no  
right to leap from the hedges of        
superstition and strike down the        
pioneers of the human race4  ,you have  
no right to sacrifice the liberties of  
man upon the altars of ghosts4 ,believe 
what you may2 preach what you desire2   
have all the forms and ceremonies you   
please2 exercise your liberties in your 
own way1 and extend to all others the   

same right4  ,i attack the monsters1 the
 phantoms of imagination that have ruled
 the world4  ,i attack slavery4  ,i ask 
for room--room for the human mind4  ,why
 should we sacrifice a real world that  
we have for one we know not of8  ,why   
should we enslave ourselves8  ,why      
should we forge fetters for our own     
hands8  ,why should we be the slaves of 
phantoms--phantoms that we create       
ourselves8  ,the darkness of barbarism  
was the womb of these shadows4  ,in the 
light of science they cannot cloud the  
sky forever4 ,they have reddened the    
hands of man with innocent blood4  ,they
 made the cradle a curse1 and the grave 
a place of torment4  ,they blinded the  
eyes and stopped the ears of the human  
race4 ,they subverted all the ideas of  
justice by promising infinite rewards   
for finite virtues1 and threatening     
infinite punishment for finite offenses4
  ,i plead for light1 for air1 for      
opportunity4  ,i plead for individual   
independence4  ,i plead for the rights  

of labor and of thought4  ,i plead for a
 chainless future4  ,let the ghosts     
go--justice remains4 ,let them          
disappear--men1 women and children are  
left4  ,let the monster fade away--the  
world remains1 with its hills and seas  
and plains1 with its seasons of smiles  
and frowns1 its ,springs of leaf and    
bud1 its ,summer of shade and flower1   
its ,autumn with the laden boughs1 when 
,the withered banners of the corn are   
still1           ,and gathered fields   
are growing strangely wan1              
,while ,death1 poetic ,death1 with hands
 that color           ,whate'er they    
touch1 weaves in the ,autumn wood       
,her tapestries of gold and brown4  ,the
 world remains1 with its ,winters and   
homes and firesides1 where grow and     
bloom the virtues of our race4  ,all    
these are left2 and music1 with its sad 
and thrilling voice1 and all there is of
 art and song and hope1 and love and    
aspiration high4  ,all these remain4    
,let the ghosts go--we will worship them

 no more4  ,man is greater than these   
phantoms4  ,humanity is grander than all
 the creeds1 than all the books4        
,humanity is the great sea1 and these   
creeds and books and religions are but  
the waves of a day4 ,humanity is the    
sky1 and these religions and dogmas and 
theories are but the mists and clouds1  
changing continually1 destined finally  
to melt away4  ,let the ghosts go4  ,we 
will worship them no more4  ,let them   
cover their eyeless sockets with their  
fleshless hands1 and fade forever from  
the imaginations of men4                
,,ingersoll',s ,,lecture ,,on ,,hell    
,ladies and ,gentlemen3 ,the idea of a  
hell was born of revenge and brutality  
on the one side1 and cowardice on the   
other4 ,in my judgment the ,american    
people are too brave1 too charitable1   
too generous1 too magnanimous to believe
 in the infamous dogma of an eternal    
hell4 ,i have no respect for any human  
being who believes in it4 ,i have no    
respect for the man who will pollute the

 imagination of childhood with that     
infamous lie4 ,i have no respect for the
 man who will add to the sorrows of this
 world with the frightful dogma4 ,i have
 no respect for any man who endeavors to
 put that infinite cloud1 that infinite 
shadow1 over the heart of humanity4 ,i  
want to be frank with you4 ,i dislike   
this doctrine1 ,i hate it1 ,i despise   
it2 ,i defy this doctrine4 ,for a good  
many years the learned intellects of    
christendom have been examining into the
 religions of other countries in the    
world1 the religions of the thousands   
that have passed away4 ,they examined   
into the religions of ,egypt1 the       
religion of ,greece1 the religion of    
,rome and of the ,scandinavian          
countries4 ,in the presence of the ruins
 of those religions the learned men of  
christendom insisted that those         
religions were baseless1 that they are  
fraudulent4 ,but they have all passed   
away4 ,while this was being done the    
christianity of our day applauded1 and  

when the learned men got through with   
the religions of other countries they   
turned their attention to our religion4 
,by the same mode of reasoning1 by the  
same methods1 by the same arguments that
 they used with the old religions1 they 
were overturning the religion of our    
day4 ,why8 ,every religion in this world
 is the work of man4 ,every one6 ,every 
book has been written by man4 ,men      
existed before the books4 ,if books had 
existed before man1 ,i might admit there
 was such a thing as a sacred volume4   
,in my judgment man has made every      
religion and made every book4 ,there is 
another thing to which ,i wish to call  
your attention4 ,man never had an idea2 
man will never have an idea1 except     
those supplied to him by his            
surroundings4 ,every idea in the world  
that man has1 came to him by nature4    
,man cannot conceive of anything the    
hint of which you have not received from
 your surroundings4 ,you can imagine an 
animal with the hoof of a bison1 with   

the pouch of the kangaroo1 with the     
wings of an eagle1 with the beak of a   
bird1 and with the tail of the lion2 and
 yet every point of this monster you    
borrowed from nature4 ,every thing you  
can think of--every thing you can dream 
of1 is borrowed from your               
surroundings--everything4 ,and there is 
nothing on this earth coming from any   
other sphere whatever4 ,man has produced
 every religion in the world4 ,and why8 
,because each generation bodes forth the
 knowledge and the belief of the people 
at the time it was made1 and in no book 
is there any knowledge found1 except    
that of the people who wrote it4 ,in no 
book is there found any knowledge1      
except that of the time in which it was 
written4 ,barbarians have produced1 and 
always will produce barbarian religions4
 ,barbarians have produced1 and always  
will produce ideas in harmony with their
 surroundings1 and all the religions of 
the past were produced by               
barbarians--every one of them4 ,we are  

making religions today4 ,we are making  
religions to-night4 ,that is to say1 we 
are changing them1 and the religion of  
to-day is not the religion of one year  
ago4 ,what changed it8 ,science has done
 it2 education and the growing heart of 
man has done it4 ,we are making these   
religions every day1 and just to the    
extent that we become civilized         
ourselves will we improve the religion  
of our fathers4 ,if the religion of one 
hundred years ago1 compared with the    
religion of to-day is so low1 what will 
it be in one thousand years8  ,if we    
continue making the inroads upon        
orthodoxy which we have been making     
during the last twenty-five years1 what 
will it be fifty years from to-night8   
,it will have to be remonetized by that 
time1 or else it will not be legal      
tender4 ,in my judgment1 every religion 
that stands by appealing to miracles is 
dishonor4 sic  ,every religion in the   
world has denounced every other religion
 as a fraud4 ,that proves to me that    

they all tell the truth--about others4  
,why8 ,suppose ,mr4 ,smith should tell  
,mr4 ,brown that he--,smith--saw a      
corpse get out of the grave1 and that   
when he first saw it1 it was covered    
with the worm's of death1 and that in   
his presence it was reclothed in        
healthy1 beautiful flesh4 ,and then     
suppose ,mr4 ,brown should tell ,mr4    
,smith1 ,i saw the same thing myself4 ,i
 was in a graveyard once1 and ,i saw a  
dead man rise4 ,suppose then that ,smith
 should say to ,brown1 ,you're a liar1  
and ,brown should reply to ,smith1 ,and 
you're a liar1 what would you think8 ,it
 would simply be because ,smith1 never  
having seen it himself1 didn't believe  
,brown2 and ,brown1 never having seen   
it1 didn't believe ,smith had4 ,now1 if 
,smith had really seen it1 and ,brown   
told him he had seen it too1 then ,smith
 would regard it as a corroboration of  
his story1 and he would regard ,brown as
 one of his principal witnesses4 ,but1  
on the contrary1 he says1 ,you never saw

 it4 ,so1 when man says1 ,i was upon    
,mount ,sinai1 and there ,i met ,god1   
and he told me1 ',stand aside and let me
 drown these people'2 and another man   
says to him1 ,i was upon a mountain1 and
 there ,i met the ,supreme ,brahma1 and 
,moses says1 ,that's not true1 and      
contends that the other man never did   
see ,brahma1 and he contends that ,moses
 never did see ,god1 that is in my      
judgment proof that they both speak     
truly4  ,every religion1 then1 has      
charged every other religion with having
 been an unmitigated fraud2 and yet1 if 
any man had ever seen the miracle       
himself1 his mind would be prepared to  
believe that another man had seen the   
same thing4 ,whenever a man appeals to a
 miracle he tells what is not true4     
,truth relies upon reason1 and the      
undeviating course of all the laws of   
nature4  ,now1 we have a religion--that 
is1 some people have4 ,i do not pretend 
to have religion myself4 ,i believe in  
living for this world--that's my        

doctrine--in living here1 now1 to-day1  
to-night--that's my doctrine1 to make   
everybody happy that you can4 ,now1 let 
the future take care of itself and if ,i
 ever touch the shores of another world 
,i will be just as ready and anxious to 
get into some remunerative employment as
 anybody else4 ,now1 we have got in this
 country a religion which men have      
preached for about eighteen hundred     
years1 and just in proportion as their  
belief in that religion has grown great1
 men have grown mean and wicked2 just in
 proportion as they have ceased to      
believe it1 men have become just and    
charitable4  ,and if they believe it    
to-night as they once believed it1 ,i   
wouldn't be allowed to speak in the city
 of ,new ,york4 ,it is from the coldness
 and infidelity of the churches that ,i 
get my right to preach2 and ,i say it to
 their credit4 ,now we have a religion4 
,what is it8 ,they say in the first     
place that all this vast universe was   
created by a deity4 ,i don't know       

whether it was or not4 ,they say1 too1  
that had it not been for the first sin  
of ,adam there would never have been any
 devil in this world1 and if there had  
been no devil there would have been no  
sin1 and if there had been no sin there 
never would have been any death4 ,for my
 part ,i am glad there was ,somebody had
 to die to give me room1 and when my    
turn comes ,i'll be willing to let      
somebody else take my place4 ,but       
whether there is another life or not1 if
 there is any being who gave me this1 ,i
 shall thank him from the bottom of my  
heart1 because1 upon the whole1 my life 
has been a joy4 ,now they say1 because  
of this first sin all men were consigned
 to eternal hell4 ,and this because     
,adam was our representative4 ,well1 ,i 
always had an idea that my              
representative ought to live somewhere  
about the same time ,i do4 ,i always had
 an idea that ,i should have some voice 
in choosing my representative4 ,and if  
,i had a voice ,i never should have     

voted for the old gentleman called      
,adam4 ,now in order to regain man from 
the frightful hell of eternity1 ,christ 
himself came to this world and took upon
 himself flesh1 and in order that we    
might know the road to eternal salvation
 he gave us a book1 and that book is    
called the ,bible1 and whenever that    
,bible has been read men have           
immediately commenced cutting each      
others' throats4 ,wherever that ,bible  
has been circulated1 they have invented 
inquisitions and instruments of torture1
 and they commenced hating each other   
with all their hearts4 ,but ,i am told  
now1 we are all told that this ,bible is
 the foundation of civilization1 but ,i 
say that this ,bible is the foundation  
of ,hell1 and we never shall get rid of 
the dogma of hell until we get rid of   
the idea that it is an inspired book4   
,now1 what does the ,bible teach8 ,i am 
not going to talk about what this       
minister or that minister says it       
teaches2 the question is ought a man to 

be sent to eternal hell for not         
believing this ,bible to be the work of 
a ,merciful ,father8 and the only way to
 find out is to read it2 and a very few 
people do read it now4 ,i will read a   
few passages4 ,this is the book to be   
read in the schools1 in order to make   
our children charitable and good2 this  
is the book that we must read in order  
that our children may have ideas of     
mercy1 charity and justice4 ,does the   
,bible teach mercy8 ,now be honest1 ,i  
read3 ,i will make mine arrows drunk    
with blood2 and the sword shall devour  
flesh4 7,deut4 xxxii1 #db47 ,pretty good
 start for a merciful ,god6 ,that thy   
foot may be dipped in the blood of thine
 enemies and the tongue of thy dogs in  
the same4 7,ps4 lxviii1 #bc47 ,again3   
,and the ,lord thy ,god will put out    
those nations before thee by little and 
little2 thou mayest not consume them at 
once1 lest the beasts of the field      
increase upon thee4 7,deut4 vii1 #bb47  
,but the ,lord thy ,god shall deliver   

them  unto thee1 and shall destroy them 
with a mighty destruction1 until they be
 destroyed4  ,and he shall deliver their
 kings into thine hand1 and thou shalt  
destroy their name from under heaven2   
there shall no man be able to stand     
before thee1 until thou have destroyed  
them4 7,deut4 vii1 #bc1 #bd47  ,so      
,joshua came1 and all the people of war 
with him1 against them by waters of     
,merom suddenly2 and they fell upon     
them4  ,and the lord delivered them into
 the hand of ,israel1 who smote them1   
and chased them unto great ,zidon1 and  
unto ,misrephothimaim1 and unto the     
valley of ,mizpeh eastward2 and they    
smote them1 until they left them none   
remaining4  ,and ,joshua did unto them  
as the ,lord bade him2 he houghed their 
horses1 and burnt their chariots with   
fire4  ,and ,joshua at that time turned 
back1 and took ,hazor1 and smote the    
king thereof with the sword2 for ,hazor 
beforetime was the head of all those    
kingdoms4  ,and they smote all the souls

 that were therein with the edge of the 
sword1 utterly destroying them3 there   
was not any left to breathe2 and he     
burnt ,hazor with fire4  ,and all the   
cities of those kings1 and all the kings
 of them1 did ,joshua take1 and smote   
them with the edge of the sword1 and he 
utterly destroyed them1 as ,moses the   
servant of the ,lord commanded4  ,but as
 for the cities that stood still in     
their strength1 ,israel burnt none of   
them1 save ,hazor only2 that did ,joshua
 burn4  ,and all the spoil of these     
cities and the cattle1 the children of  
,israel took for a prey unto themselves1
 but every man they smote with the edge 
of the sword ,brave6 until they had     
destroyed them1 neither left they any to
 breathe4 ,as the moral god had         
commanded them4  ,as the ,lord commanded
 ,moses1 his servant1 so did ,moses     
command ,joshua1 and so did ,joshua2 he 
left nothing undone of all that the     
,lord commanded ,moses4  ,so ,joshua    
took all that land1 the hills1 and all  

the south country1 and all the land of  
,goshen1 and the valley of the same4    
,even from the mount ,halak1 that goeth 
up to ,seir2 even unto ,baalgad in the  
valley of ,lebanon under mount ,hermon2 
and all their kings he took1 and smote  
them1 and slew them4  ,joshua made war a
 long time with all those kings4  ,there
 was not a city that made peace with the
 children of ,israel1 save the ,hivites1
 the inhabitants of ,gideon2 all other  
they took in battle4  ,for it was of the
 ,lord to harden their hearts1 that they
 should come against ,israel in battle1 
that he might destroy them utterly1 and 
that they might have no favor1 but that 
he might destroy them1 as the ,lord     
commanded ,moses4  ,and at that time    
came ,joshua1 and cut off the ,anakims  
from the mountains1 from ,hebron1 for   
,debit1 from ,anab1 and from all the    
mountains of ,judah1 and from all the   
mountains of ,israel2 ,joshua destroyed 
them utterly with their cities4  ,there 
was none of the ,anakims left in the    

land of the children of ,israel1 only in
 ,gaza1 in ,gath1 and in ,ashdod there  
remained4  ,so ,joshua took the whole   
land1 according to all that the ,lord   
said unto ,moses2 and ,joshua gave it   
for an inheritance unto ,israel         
according to their divisions by their   
tribes4 ,and the land rested from war4  
7,josh4 xi1 #g to #bc47  ,when thou     
comest nigh unto a city to fight against
 it1 then proclaim peace unto it4  ,and 
it shall be1 if it make thee answer of  
peace1 and open unto thee1 then it shall
 be that all the people that is found   
therein shall be tributaries unto thee1 
and they shall serve thee4  ,and if it  
will make no peace with thee1 but will  
make war against thee1 then thou shalt  
besiege it4  ,and when the ,lord thy    
,god hath delivered it into thine hands1
 thou shalt smite every male thereof    
with the edge of the sword4  ,but the   
women1 and the little ones1 and the     
cattle1 and all that is in the city1    
even all the spoil thereof1 shalt thou  

take unto thyself2 and thou shalt eat   
the spoil of thine enemies1 which the   
,lord thy ,god hath given thee4  ,thus  
shalt thou do unto all the cities which 
are very far off from thee1 which are   
not of the cities of these nations4     
,but of the cities of these people1     
which the ,lord thy ,god doth give thee 
for an inheritance1 thou shalt save     
alive nothing that breatheth3  ,but thou
 shalt utterly destroy them4 7,deut4 xx1
 #aj-ag47  ,neither the old men nor the 
women1 nor the maidens1  nor the        
sweet-dimpled babe1 smiling upon the lap
   of his mother1 were to be spared4    
,and he said unto them1 ,thus saith the 
,lord  ,god of ,israel a merciful god   
indeed4 ,put every  man his sword by his
 side1 and go in and out from  gate to  
gate through-out the camp1 and slay     
every man his brother1 and every man his
 companion1 and every man his neighbor4 
7,exod4 xxxii1 #bg47  ,now recollect1   
these instructions were given to an army
 of invasion1 and the people who were   

slayed were guilty of the crime of      
fighting for their homes4 ,oh1 most     
merciful ,god6 ,the old testament is    
full of curses1 vengeance1 jealousy and 
hatred1 and of barbarity and brutality4 
,now do you not for one moment believe  
that these words were written by the    
most merciful ,god4 ,don't pluck from   
the heart the sweet flowers of piety and
 crush them by superstition4 ,do not    
believe that ,god ever ordered the      
murder of innocent women and helpless   
babes4 ,do not let this supposition turn
 your hearts into stone4 ,when anything 
is said to have been written by the most
 merciful ,god1 and the thing is not    
merciful1 then ,i deny it1 and say he   
never wrote it4 ,i will live by the     
standard of reason1 and if thinking in  
accordance with reason takes me to      
perdition1 then ,i will go to hell with 
my reason rather that to heaven without 
it4  ,now does this bible teach         
political freedom1 or does it teach     
political tyranny8 ,does it teach a man 

to resist oppression8 ,does it teach a  
man to tear from the throne of tyranny  
the crowned thing and robber called a   
king8 ,let us see ,reading3  ,let every 
soul be subject to the higher powers3   
,for there is no power but of ,god1 the 
powers that  are ordained of ,god4      
7,rom4 xii1 #a47  ,all the kings1 and   
princes1 and governors1 and  thieves and
 robbers that happened to be in         
authority were placed there by the      
infinite father of all6  ,whosoever     
therefore resisteth the power1 resisteth
 the ordinance of ,god4  ,and when      
,george ,washington resisted the power  
of ,george the ,third he resisted the   
power of ,god4 ,and when our fathers    
said1 ,resistance to tyrants is         
obedience to ,god1 they falsified the   
bible itself4  ,for he is the minister  
of ,god to thee for   good4 ,but if thou
 do that which is evil1 be afraid2 for  
he beareth not the sword in vain2 for he
 is the minister of ,god1 revenger to   
execute wrath upon him that doeth evil4 

,wherefore ye must needs be subject not 
only for wrath1 but also for conscience 
sake4 7,rom4 xiii1 #d1 #e47  ,i deny    
this wretched doctrine4 ,wherever the   
sword of rebellion is drawn to protect  
the rights of man1 ,i am a rebel4       
,wherever the sword of rebellion is     
drawn to give man liberty1 to clothe him
 in all his just rights1 ,i am on the   
side of that rebellion4 ,i deny that the
 rulers are crowned by the ,most ,high2 
the rulers are the people1 and the      
presidents and others are but the       
servants of the people4 ,all authority  
comes from the people1 and not from the 
aristocracy of the air4 ,upon these     
texts of scripture which ,i have just   
read rest the thrones of ,europe1 and   
these are the voices that are repeated  
from age to age by brainless kings and  
heartless kings4  ,does the bible give  
woman her rights8 ,is this bible humane8
 ,does it treat woman as she ought to be
 treated1 or is it barbarian8 ,let us   
see4  ,let the woman learn in silence   

with all subjection4 7#a ,timothy ii1   
#aa47   ,if a woman would know anything 
let her ask her husband4 ,imagine the   
ignorance of a lady who had only that   
source of information6  ,but ,i suffer  
not a woman to teach1 not to   usurp    
authority over the man1 but to be in    
silence4  ,for ,adam was first formed1  
then ,eve4 ,what magnificent reason6    
,and ,adam was not deceived1 but the    
woman being deceived1 was in the        
transgression4 ,splendid6  ,but ,i would
 have you know that the head of every   
man is ,christ2 and the head of the     
woman is the man2 and the head of       
,christ is ,god4 ,that is to say1 there 
is as much difference between the woman 
and man as there is between ,christ and 
man4 ,this is the liberty of woman4     
,for the man is not of the woman1 but   
the woman is of the man4 ,it was the    
man's cut till that was taken1 not the  
woman's4 ,neither was the man created   
for the woman4 ,well1 what was he       
created for8 ,but the woman was created 

for the man4 ,wives1 submit yourselves  
unto your husbands1 as unto the ,lord4  
,there's ,liberty6  ,for the husband is 
the head of the wife1 even as ,christ is
 the head of the church2 and he is the  
savior of the body4  ,therefore1 as the 
church is subject unto ,christ so let   
the wives be to their own husbands in   
everything4  ,good again6 ,even the     
savior didn't put man and woman upon an 
equality4 ,the man could divorce the    
wife1 but the wife could not divorce the
 husband1 and according to the old      
testament1 the mother had to ask for    
forgiveness for being the mother of     
babes4 ,splendid6  ,here is something   
from the old testament3 ,when thou goest
 forth to war against thine enemies1 and
 the ,lord thy ,god hath delivered them 
into thine hands1 and thou has taken    
them captive4  ,and seest among the     
captives a beautiful woman1 and has a   
desire unto her1 that thou wouldst have 
her to thy wife4  ,then thou shalt bring
 her home to thine house2 and she shall 

shave her head1 and pare her nails4     
7,deut4 xxi1 #aj-ab47  ,that is in      
self-defense1 ,i suppose6  ,this sacred 
book1 this foundation of human liberty1 
of morality1 does it teach concubinage  
and polygamy8  ,read the thirty-first   
chapter of ,numbers1 read the           
twenty-first chapter of ,deuteronomy1   
read the blessed lives of ,abraham1 of  
,david or of ,solomon1 and then tell me 
that the sacred scripture does not teach
 polygamy and concubinage6 ,all the     
language of the world is not sufficient 
to express the infamy of polygamy2 it   
makes man a beast and woman a stone4 ,it
 destroys the fireside and makes virtue 
an outcast4 ,and yet it is the doctrine 
of the bible--the doctrine defended by  
,luther and ,melanchthon6 ,it takes from
 our language those sweetest words1     
father1 husband1 wife1 and mother1 and  
takes us back to barbarism1 and fills   
our hearts with the crawling1 slimy     
serpents of loathsome lust4  ,does the  
bible teach the existence of devils8 ,of

 course it does4 ,yes1 it teaches not   
only the existence of a good being1 but 
a bad being4 ,this good being had to    
have a home2 that home was heaven4 ,this
 bad being had to have a home2 and that 
home was hell4 ,this hell is supposed to
 be nearer to earth than ,i would care  
to have it1 and to be peopled with      
spirits1 spooks1 hobgoblins1 and all the
 fiery shapes with which the imagination
 of ignorance and fear could people that
 horrible place2 and the bible teaches  
the existence of hell and this big devil
 and all these little devils4 ,the bible
 teaches the doctrine of witchcraft and 
makes us believe that there are         
sorcerers and witches1 and that the dead
 could be raised by the power of        
sorcery4 ,does anybody believe it now8  
,then said ,saul unto his servants1     
,seek me   a woman that hath a familiar 
spirit1 that ,i may  go to her1 and     
inquire of her4 ,and his servants said  
to him1 ,behold1 there is a woman that  
hath a familiar spirit at ,endor4  ,and 

,saul disguised himself and put on other
 raiment1 and he went1 and two men with 
him1 and they came to the woman by      
night2 and he said1 ,i pray thee1 divine
 unto me by the familiar spirit1 and    
bring me him up whom ,i shall name unto 
thee4 ,that was a pretty good spiritual 
seance4  ,and the woman said unto him1  
,behold1 thou knowest what ,saul hath   
done1 how he hath cut off those that    
have familiar spirits1 and the wizards1 
out of the land2 wherefore then layest  
thou a snare for my life to cause me to 
die8  ,and ,saul sware to her by the    
,lord1 saying1 ,as the ,lord liveth     
there shall no punishment happen to thee
 for this thing4  ,then said the woman1 
,whom shall ,i bring up unto thee8 ,and 
he said1 ,bring me up ,samuel4  ,and    
when the woman saw ,samuel1 she cried   
with a loud voice2 and the woman spake  
to ,saul1 saying1 ,why hast thou        
deceived me8 for thou art ,saul4  ,and  
the king said unto her1 ,be not afraid2 
for what sawest thou8 ,and the woman    

said unto ,saul1 ,i saw gods ascending  
out of the earth4  ,and he said unto    
her1 ,what form is he of8 ,and she said1
 ,an old man cometh up2 and he is       
covered with a mantle4 ,and ,saul       
perceived that it was ,samuel1 and he   
stooped with his face to the ground1 and
 bowed himself4 7#a ,saml4 xxviii1      
#g-ad47  ,in another place he declares  
that witchcraft is an abomination unto  
the ,lord4 ,he wanted no rivals in this 
business4 ,now what does the new        
testament teach8  ,then was ,jesus led  
up of the ,spirit into    the wilderness
 to be tempted of the devil4  ,and when 
he had fasted forty days and forty      
nights1 he was afterward an hungered4   
sic  ,and when the tempter came to him1 
he said1 ,if thou be the ,son of ,god1  
command that these stones be made bread4
  ,but he answered and said1 ,it is     
written1 ,man shall not live by bread   
alone1 but by every word that proceedeth
 out of the mouth of ,god4  ,then the   
devil taketh him up into the holy city1 

and setteth him on a pinnacle of the    
temple1  ,and saith unto him1 ,if thou  
be the ,son of ,god1 ,hell cast thyself 
down1 for it is written1 ,he shall give 
his angels charge concerning thee2 and  
in their hands they shall bear thee up1 
lest at any time thou dash thy foot     
against a stone4  ,jesus said unto him1 
,it is written again1 ,thou shalt not   
tempt the ,lord thy ,god4 7,matt4 iv1 #a
 #g47  ,is it possible that anyone can  
believe that the devil absolutely took  
,god almighty1 and put him on the       
pinnacle of the temple1 and endeavored  
to persuade him to jump down8 ,is it    
possible8  ,again the devil taketh him  
up into an exceeding  high mountain and 
showeth him all the kingdoms of the     
world1 and the glory of them2  ,and     
,saith unto him1 ,all these things will 
,i  give thee1 if thou will fall down   
and worship me4  ,then saith ,jesus unto
 him1 ,get thee hence1 ,satan1 for it is
 written1 ,thou shalt worship the ,lord 
thy ,god1 and him only shalt thou serve4

 7,matt4 iv1 #h-aj47  ,now1 the devil   
must have known at that time that  he   
was ,god1 and ,god at that time must    
have known   that the other was the     
devil4 ,how could the latter be         
conceived to have the impudence to      
promise ,god a world in which he did not
 have a tax-title to an inch of land8   
,then the devil leaveth him2 and1       
behold1 angels  came and ministered unto
 him4 7,matt4 iv1 #aa47  ,and they came 
over unto the other side of the sea1    
into the country of the ,gadarines4     
,and when he was come out of the ship1  
immediately there met him out of the    
tombs a man with an unclean spirit1     
,who had his dwelling among the tombs2  
and no man could bind him1 no1 not with 
chains1  ,because that he had been often
 bound with fetters and chains1 and the 
chains had been plucked asunder by him1 
and the fetters broken in pieces2       
neither could any man tame him1  ,and   
always1 night and day1 he was in the    
mountains and tombs1 crying and cutting 

himself with stones4  ,but when he saw  
,jesus afar off1 he came and worshiped  
him4  ,and cried with a loud voice and  
said1 ,what have ,i to do with thee1    
,jesus1 thou ,son of the ,most ,high    
,god8 ,i adjure thee by ,god1 that thou 
torment me not4  7,for he said unto him1
 ,come out of the man1 thou unclean     
spirit47  ,and he asked him1 ,what is   
thy name8 ,and he answered saying1 ,my  
name is ,legion3 for we are many4  ,and 
he besought him much that he would not  
send them away out of the country4  ,now
 there was there nigh unto the mountains
 a great herd of swine feeding4  ,and   
all the devils besought him1 saying1    
,send us into the swine that we may     
enter into them4  ,and forthwith ,jesus 
gave them leave4 ,and the unclean       
spirits went out1 and entered into the  
swine2 and the herd ran violently down a
 steep place into the sea 7they were    
about two thousand71 and were choked in 
the sea4 7,mark v1 #a-ac47  ,now ,i will
 ask a question3 ,should reasonable men1

 in the nineteenth century in the       
,united ,states of ,america1 believe    
that that was an actual occurrence8 ,if 
my salvation depends upon believing     
that1 ,i am lost4 ,i have never         
experienced the signs by which it is    
said a believer may be known4 ,i deny   
all the witch stories in this world4    
,these fables of devils have covered the
 world with blood2 they have filled the 
world with fear1 and ,i am going to do  
what ,i can to free the world of these  
insatiate monsters1 small and great2    
they have filled the world with         
monsters1 they have made the world a    
synonym of liar and ferocity4 ,and it is
 this book that ought to be read in all 
the schools--this book that teaches man 
to enslave his brother6 ,if it is       
larceny to steal the result of labor1   
how much more is it larceny to steal the
 laborer himself8  ,moreover1  of  the  
children of the strangers that do       
sojourn among you1 of them shall ye buy1
  and of their families that are with   

you1 which  they begat in your land2 and
 they shall be your possession4  ,and ye
 shall take them as an inheritance for  
your children after you1 to inherit them
 for a possession2 they shall be your   
bondmen forever2 but over your brethren 
the children of ,israel1 ye shall not   
rule one over another with rigor4 7,lev4
 xxv1 #de1 #df47  ,why8 ,because they   
are not as good as you will buy of the  
heathen roundabout4  ,now these are the 
judgments which thou shalt set before   
them4  ,if thou buy an ,hebrew servant1 
six years he shall serve2 and in the    
seventh he shall go  out free for       
nothing4  ,if he came in by himself1 he 
shall go out by himself2 if he were     
married1 then his wife shall go out with
 him4  ,if his master have given him a  
wife1 and she have borne him sons or    
daughters2 the wife and her children    
shall be her master's1 and he shall go  
out by himself4  ,and if the servant    
shall plainly say1 ,i love my master1 my
 wife1 and my children2 ,i will not go  

out free4  ,then his master shall bring 
him unto the judges2 he shall also bring
 him to the door1 or unto the door-post2
 and his master shall bore his ear      
through with an awl2 and he shall serve 
him forever4 7,exod4 xxi1 #a-f47  ,this 
is the doctrine which has ever lent     
itself to the chains of slavery1 and    
makes a man imprison himself rather than
 desert his wife and children4 ,i hate  
it4  ,now1 listen to the new testament1 
the tidings of great joy for all people6
  ,servants1 be obedient to them that   
are your  masters according to the      
flesh1 with fear and trembling1 in      
singleness of your heart1 as unto       
,christ4  ,not with eye-service1 as men 
pleasers2 but as the servants of        
,christ1 doing the will of ,god from the
 heart4 7,eph4 vi1 #e1 #f47 trembling1  
in singleness of your heart1 as unto    
,christ4  ,not with eye-service1 as men 
pleasers2 but as the servants of        
,christ1 doing the will of ,god from the
 heart4 7,eph4 vi1 #e1f47 ,splendid     

doctrine4  ,servants1 be subject to your
 masters with all fear2 not only to the 
good and gentle1 but also to the        
froward4  ,for this is thankworthy1 if a
 man for conscience toward ,god endure  
grief1 suffering wrongfully4 7#a ,peter 
ii1 #ah1 #ai47  ,servants1 obey in all  
things your masters according to the    
flesh4  ,he was afraid they might not   
work all the time1 so he adds3  ,not    
with the eye-service1 as men pleasers1  
but in the singleness of heart fearing  
,god4  ,read the twenty-first chapter of
 ,exodus1 #g to  #aa4  ,and if a man    
sell his daughter to be a maid servant1 
she shall not go out as the men-servants
  do4  ,if she please not her master1   
who hath betrothed  her to himself1 then
 shall he let her be redeemed2 to sell  
her unto a strange nation he shall have 
no power1 seeing he hath dealt          
deceitfully with her4 ,and if he have   
betrothed her unto his son1 he shall    
deal with her after the manner of       
daughters4  ,if he take him another     

wife1 her food1 her raiment and her duty
 of marriage shall he not diminish4     
,and if he do not these three unto her1 
then shall she go out free without      
money4  ,servants1 be obedient to your  
masters1 is the salutation of the most  
merciful ,god to one who works for      
nothing and who receives upon his naked 
back the lash1 as legal tender for      
service performed4  ,servants1 be       
obedient to your masters1 is the        
salutation of the most merciful ,god to 
the slave-mother bending over her       
infant's grave4  ,servants1 be obedient 
to your masters1 is the salutation to a 
man endeavoring to escape pursuit1      
followed by savage blood-hounds1 and    
with his eye fixed upon the northern    
star4 ,this book ought to be read in the
 schools1 so that our children will love
 liberty4  ,what does this same book say
 of the rights of little children8 ,let 
us see how they are treated by the most 
merciful ,god4  ,if a man have a        
stubborn and rebellious son1  which will

 not obey the voice of his father1 or   
the voice of his mother1 and that when  
they have  chastened him1 will not      
hearken unto them4  ,then shall his     
father and his mother lay hold of him1  
and bring him out unto the elders of his
 city1 and unto the gate of his place4  
,and they shall say unto the elders of  
his city1 this our son is stubborn and  
rebellious1 he will not obey our voice1 
he is a glutton1 and a drunkard4  ,and  
all the men of his city shall stone him 
with stones1 that he die2 so shalt thou 
put evil away from among you2 and all   
,israel shall hear and fear4 7,deut4    
xxi1 #ah-ba47  ,abraham was commanded to
 offer his son ,isaac as a sacrifice1   
and he intended to obey4  ,the boy was  
not consulted4  ,did you ever hear the  
story of ,jephthah's daughter8          
,returning him ,jephthah said3  ,and    
,jephthah vowed a vow unto the ,lord1   
and  said1 if thou shalt without fail   
deliver the children of ,ammon into mine
 hands1  ,then it shall be1 that        

whatsoever cometh forth  of the doors of
 my house to meet me1 when ,i return in 
peace from the children of ,ammon shall 
surely be the ,lord's1 and ,i will offer
 it up for a burnt offering4  ,so       
,jephthah passed over unto the children 
of ,ammon to fight against them2 and the
 ,lord delivered them into his hands4   
,and he smote them from ,aroer1 even    
till thou come to ,minnith1 even twenty 
cities1 and unto the plain of the       
vineyards with a very great slaughter4  
,thus the children of ,ammon were       
subdued before the children of ,israel4 
,and ,jephthah came to ,mizpeh unto his 
house1 and1 behold1 his daughter came   
out to meet him with timbrels and with  
dances2 and she was his only child3     
besides her he had neither son nor      
daughter4  ,and it came to pass when he 
saw her1 that he rent his clothes1 and  
said1 ,alas1 my daughter6 thou has      
brought me very low1 and thou art one of
 them that trouble me2 for ,i have      
opened my mouth unto the ,lord1 and ,i  

cannot go back4  ,and she said unto him1
 ,my father1 if thou has opened thy     
mouth unto the ,lord1 do to me according
 to that which hath proceeded out of thy
 mouth2 forasmuch as the ,lord hath     
taken vengeance for thee of thine       
enemies1 even to the children of ,ammon4
  ,and she said unto her father1 ,let   
this thing be done for me3 let me alone 
two months1 that ,i may go up and down  
upon the mountains1 and bewail my       
virginity1 ,i and my fellows4  ,and he  
said1 ,go4 ,and he sent her away for two
 months1 and she went with her          
companions1 and bewailed her virginity  
upon the mountains4  ,and it came to    
pass at the end of two months that she  
returned unto her father1 who did with  
her according to his vow which he had   
vowed4  ,is there in the history of the 
world a sadder story than this8 ,can a  
god who would accept such a sacrifice be
 worthy of the worship of civilized men8
 ,i believe in the rights of children4  
,i plead for the republic of home1 for  

the democracy of the fireside1 and for  
this ,i am called a heathen and a devil 
by those who believe in the cheerful and
 comforting doctrine of eternal         
damnation4  ,read the book of ,job2 read
 that ,god met the devil and asked him  
where he had been1 and he said1 ,walking
 up and down the country2 and the ,lord 
said to him1 ,have you noticed my man   
,job over here1 how good he is8 ,and the
 devil said1 ,of course he's good1 you  
give him everything he wants4 ,just take
 away his property and he'll curse you4 
,you just try it4 ,and he did try it1   
and took away his goods1 but ,job still 
remained good4 ,the devil laughed and   
said that he had not been tried enough4 
,then the ,lord touched his flesh1 but  
he was still true4 ,then he took away   
his children1 but he remained faithful1 
and in the end1 to show how much ,job   
made by his fidelity1 his property was  
all doubled1 and he had more children   
than ever4 ,if you have a child1 and you
 love it1 would you be satisfied with a 

god who would destroy it1 and endeavor  
to make it up by giving you another that
 was better looking8 ,no1 you want that 
one2 you want no other1 and yet this is 
the idea of the love of children taught 
in the bible4  ,does the bible teach you
 freedom of religion8 ,to day we say    
that every man has a right to worship   
,god or not1 to worship him as he       
pleases4 ,is it the doctrine of the     
bible8 ,let us see4  ,if thy brother1   
the son of thy mother1 or  thy son1 or  
thy daughter1 or the wife of thy  bosom1
 or thy friend1 which is as thine own   
soul1 entice thee secretly1 saying4 ,let
 us go and serve other gods1 which thou 
has not known1 thou1 nor thy fathers2   
,namely1 of the gods of the people which
 are round about you1 nigh unto thee1 or
 far off from thee1 from the one end of 
the earth even unto the other end of the
 earth2  ,thou shalt not consent unto   
him1 nor hearken unto him2 neither shall
 thine eye pity him1 neither shalt thou 
spare1 neither shalt thou conceal him2  

,but thou shalt surely kill him2 thine  
hand shall be first upon him to put him 
to death1 and afterwards the hand of all
 the people4  ,and thou shalt stone him 
with stones1 that he die2 because he has
 sought to thrust thee away from the    
,lord thy ,god1 which brought thee out  
of the land of ,egypt1 from the house of
 bondage4 7,deut4 xiii1 #f-aj47  ,and do
 you know1 according to that1 if your   
wife--your wife that you love as your   
own soul--if you had lived in           
,palestine1 and your wife had said to   
you1 ,let us worship a sun whose golden 
beams clothe the world in glory2 let us 
worship the sun1 let us bow to that     
great luminary2 ,i love the sun because 
it gave me your face2 because it gave me
 the features of my babe2 let us worship
 the sun1 it was then your duty to lay  
your hands upon her1 your eye must not  
pity her1 but it was your duty to cast  
the first stone against that tender and 
loving breast6 ,i hate such doctrine6 ,i
 hate such books6 ,i hate gods that will

 write such books6 ,i tell you that it  
is infamous6  ,if there be found among  
you1 within any of  thy gates which the 
,lord thy ,god giveth thee1 man or woman
 that hath wrought wickedness in the    
sight of the ,lord thy ,god1 in         
transgressing his covenant1  ,and hath  
gone and served other gods1 and         
worshiped them1 either the sun1 or moon1
 or any of the host of heaven1 which ,i 
have not commanded2  ,and it be told    
thee1 and thou hast heard of it1 and    
inquired diligently1 and behold1 it be  
true1 and the thing certain1 that such  
abomination is wrought in ,israel2      
,then shalt thou bring forth that man or
 that woman1 which have committed that  
wicked thing1 unto thy gates even that  
man or that woman1 and shalt stone them 
with stones till they die4 7,deut4 xvii1
 #b-e47  ,that is the religious liberty 
of the bible--that's it4 ,and this god  
taught that doctrine to the ,jews1 and  
said to them1 ,any one that teaches a   
different religion1 kill him6 ,now1 let 

me ask1 and ,i want to do it reverently1
 if1 as is contended1 ,god gave these   
frightful laws to the flesh1 and come   
among the ,jews1 and taught a different 
religion1 and these ,jews1 in accordance
 with the laws which this same ,god gave
 them1 crucified him1 did he not reap   
what he had sown8 ,the mercy of all this
 comes in what is called the plan of    
salvation4 ,what is that plan8          
,according to this great plan1 the      
innocent suffer for the guilty to       
satisfy a law4  ,what sort of a law must
 it be that would be satisfied with the 
suffering of innocence8 ,according to   
this plan1 the salvation of the whole   
world depends upon the bigotry of the   
,jews and the treachery of ,judas4      
,according to the same plan1 we all     
would have gone to eternal hell4        
,according to the same plan1 there would
 have been no death in the world if     
there had been no sin1 and if there had 
been no death you and ,i would not have 
been called into existence1 and if we   

did not exist we could not have been    
saved1 so we owe our salvation to the   
bigotry of the ,jews and the treachery  
of ,judas1 and we are indebted to the   
devil for our existence4 ,i speak this  
reverently4 ,it strikes me that what    
they call the atonement is a kind of    
moral bankruptcy4 ,under its merciful   
provisions man is allowed the privilege 
of sinning credit1 and whenever he is   
guilty of a mean action he says1 ,charge
 it4 ,in my judgment1 this kind of      
bookkeeping breeds extravagance in sin4 
,suppose we had a law in ,new ,york that
 every merchant should give credit to   
every man who asked it1 under pain and  
penitentiary1 and that every man should 
take the benefit of the bankruptcy      
statute any ,saturday night8 ,doesn't   
the credit system in morals breed       
extravagance in sin8 ,that's the        
question4 ,who's afraid of punishment   
which is so far away8 ,whom does the    
doctrine of hell stop8 ,the great1 the  
rich1 the powerful8 ,no2 the poor1 the  

weak1 the despised1 the mean4 ,did you  
ever hear of a man going to hell who    
died in ,new ,york worth a million of   
dollars1 or with an income of           
twenty-five thousand a year8 ,did you8  
,did you ever hear of a man going to    
hell who rode in a carriage8 ,never4    
,they are the gentlemen who talk about  
their assets1 and who say3 ,hell is not 
for me2 it is for the poor4 ,i have all 
the luxuries ,i want1 give that to the  
poor4 ,who goes to hell8 ,tramps6  ,let 
me tell you a story4 ,there was once a  
frightful rain1 and all the animals held
 a convention1 to see whose fault it    
was1 and the fox nominated the lion for 
chairman4 ,the wolf seconded the motion1
 and the hyena said that suits4 ,when   
the convention was called to order the  
fox was called upon to confess his sins4
 ,he stated1 however1 that it would be  
much more appropriate for the lion to   
commence first4 ,thereupon the lion     
said3 ,i am not conscious of having     
committed evil4 ,it is true ,i have     

devoured a few men1 but for what other  
purpose were men made8 ,and they all    
cheered1 and were satisfied4 ,the fox   
gave his views upon the goose question1 
and the wolf admitted that he had       
devoured sheep1 and occasionally had    
killed a shepherd1 but all acquainted   
with the history of my family will bear 
me out when ,i say that shepherds have  
been the enemies of my family from the  
beginning of the world4 ,then way in the
 rear there arose a simple donkey1 with 
a kind of ,abrahamic countenance4 ,he   
said3 ,i expect it's me4 ,i had eaten   
nothing for three days except three     
thistles4 ,i was passing a monastery1   
the monks were at mass4 ,the gates were 
open leading to a yard full of sweet    
clover4 ,i knew it was wrong but ,i did 
slip in and ,i took a mouthful1 but my  
conscience smote me and ,i went out2 and
 all the animals shouted1 ,he's the     
fellow6 and in two minutes they had his 
hide on the fence4 ,that's the kind of  
people that go to hell4  ,now this      

doctrine of hell1 that has been such a  
comfort to my race1 which so many       
ministers are pleading for1 has been    
defended for ages by the fathers of the 
church4 ,your preacher says that the    
sovereignty of ,god implies that ,he has
 an absolute1 unlimited and independent 
right to dispose of ,his creatures as   
,he will1 because ,he made them4 ,has   
,he8 ,suppose ,i take this book and     
change it immediately into a servient   
human being4 ,would ,i have a right to  
torture it because ,i made it8 ,no2 on  
the contrary1 ,i would say1 having      
brought you into existence1 it is my    
duty to do the best for you ,i can4     
,they say ,god has a right to damn me   
because ,he made me4 ,i deny it4        
,another one says ,god is not obliged to
 save even those who believe in ,christ1
 and that he can either bestow salvation
 upon his children or retain it without 
any diminution of his glory4 ,another   
one says ,god may save any sinner       
whatsoever1 consistently with his       

justice4 ,let a natural person--and ,i  
claim to be one--moral or immoral1 wise 
or unwise2 let him be as just as he can1
 no matter what his prayers may be1 what
 pains he may have taken to be saved1 or
 whatever circumstances he may be in4   
,god1 according to this writer1 can deny
 him salvation1 without the least       
disparagement of ,his glory4 ,his       
glories will not be in the least        
obscured--there is no natural man1 be   
his character what it may1 but ,god may 
cast down to hell without being charged 
with unfair dealing in any respect with 
regard to that man4 ,theologians tell us
 that ,god's design in the creation was 
simply to glorify himself4 ,magnificent 
object6  ,the same shall drink of the   
wine of the wrath of ,god1 which is     
poured out without mixture into the cup 
of his indignation2 and he shall be     
tormented with fire and brimstone in the
 presence of the holy angels1 and in the
 presence of the ,lamb4 7,rev4 xiv1     
#a-aj47  ,do you know nobody would have 

had an idea of hell in this world if it 
hadn't been for volcanoes8 ,they were   
looked upon as the chimneys of hell4    
,the idea of eternal fire never would   
have polluted the imagination of man but
 for them4 ,an eminent theologian1      
describing hell1 says3 ,there is no     
recounting the millions of ages the     
damned shall suffer4 ,all arithmetic    
ends here--and all sense1 too6 ,they    
shall have nothing to do in passing away
 this eternity but to conflict with     
torments4 ,god shall have no other use  
or employment for them4 ,these words    
were said by gentlemen who died         
,christians1 and who are now in the harp
 business in the world to come4 ,another
 declares there is nothing to keep any  
man or ,christian out of hell except the
 mere pleasure of ,god1 and their pains 
never grow any easier by their becoming 
accustomed to them4 ,it is also declared
 that the devil goes about like a lion1 
ready to doom the wicked4 ,did it never 
occur to you what a contradiction it is 

to say that the devil will persecute his
 own friends8 ,he wants all the recruits
 he can get2 why then should he         
persecute his friends8 ,in my judgment  
he should give them the best hell       
affords4  ,it is in the very nature of  
things that torments inflicted have no  
tendency to bring a wicked man to       
repentance4 ,then why torment him if it 
will not do  him good8 ,it is simply    
unadulterated revenge4  ,all the        
punishment in the world will not reform 
a man1 unless he knows that he who      
inflicts it upon him does it for the    
sake of reformation1 and really and     
truly loves him1 and has his good at    
heart4 ,punishment inflicted for        
gratifying the appetite makes man       
afraid1 but debases him4  ,various      
reasons are given for punishing the     
wicked2 first1 that ,god will vindicate 
his injured majesty4 ,well1 ,i am glad  
of that6 ,second1 ,he will glorify his  
justice--think of that4 ,third1  ,he    
will show and glorify his grace4 ,every 

time the saved shall look upon the      
damned in hell it will cause in them a  
lively and admiring sense of the grace  
of ,god4 ,every look upon the damned    
will double the ardor and the joy of the
 saints in heaven4 ,can the believing   
husband in heaven look down upon the    
torments of the unbelieving wife in hell
 and then feel a thrill of joy8 ,that's 
the old doctrine--not of our days2 we   
are too civilized for that4 ,o1 but it  
is the doctrine that if you saw your    
wife in hell--the wife you love1 who1 in
 your last sickness1 nursed you1 that1  
perhaps supported you by her needle when
 you were ill2 the wife who watched by  
your couch night and day1 and held your 
corpse in her loving arms when you were 
dead--the sight would give you great    
joy4 ,that doctrine is not preached     
to-day4 ,they do not preach that the    
sight would give you joy2 but they do   
preach that it will not diminish your   
happiness4 ,that is the doctrine of     
every orthodox minister in ,new ,york1  

and ,i repeat that ,i have no respect   
for men who preach such doctrines4 ,the 
sight of the torments of the damned in  
hell will increase the ecstasy of the   
saints forever6 ,on this principle man  
never enjoys a good dinner so much as   
when a fellow-creature is dying of      
famine before his eyes1 or he never     
enjoys the cheerful warmth of his own   
fireside so greatly as when a poor and  
abandoned wretch is dying on his        
doorstep4 ,the saints enjoy the ecstasy 
and the groans of the tormented are     
music to them4 ,i say here to-night that
 you cannot commit a sin against an     
infinite being4 ,i can sin against my   
brother or my neighbor1 because ,i can  
injure them4 ,there can be no sin where 
there is no injury4 ,neither can a      
finite being commit infinite sin4  ,an  
old saint believed that hell was in the 
interior of the earth1 and that the     
rotation of the earth was caused by the 
souls trying to get away from the fire4 
,the old church at ,stratford-on-,avon1 

,shakespeare's home1 in adorned with    
pictures of hell and the like4 ,one of  
the pictures represents resurrection    
morning4 ,people are getting out of     
their graves1 and devils are catching   
hold of their heels4 ,in one place there
 is a huge brass monster1 and devils are
 driving scores of lost souls into his  
mouth4 ,over hot fires hang caldrons    
with fifty or sixty people in each1 and 
devils are poking the fires4 ,people are
 hung up on hooks by their tongues1 and 
devils are lashing them4 ,up in the     
right hand corner are some of the saved1
 with grins on their faces stretching   
from ear to ear4 ,they seem to say3     
,aha1 what did ,i tell you8  ,some of   
the old saints--gentlemen who died in   
the odor of sanctity1 and are now in the
 harp business--insisted that heaven and
 hell would be plainly in view of each  
other4 ,only a few years ago1 ,rev4 ,j4 
,furness 7an appropriate name7 published
 a little pamphlet called ,a ,sight in  
,hell4 ,i remember when ,i first read   

that4 ,my little child1 seven years old1
 was ill and in bed4 ,i thought she     
would not hear me1 and ,i read some of  
it aloud4 ,she arose and asked1 ,who    
says that8 ,i answered1 ,that's what    
they preach in some of the churches4 ,i 
never will enter a church as long as ,i 
live6 she said1 and she never has4  ,the
 doctrine of orthodox ,christianity is  
that the damned shall suffer torment    
forever and forever4 ,and if you were a 
wanderer1 footsore1 weary1 with parched 
tongue1 dying for a drop of water1 and  
you met one who divided his poor portion
 with you1 and died as he saw you       
reviving--if he was an unbeliever and   
you a believer1 and you died and went to
 heaven1 and he called to you from hell 
for a draught of water1 it would be your
 duty to laugh at him4  ,rev4 ,mr4      
,spurgeon says that everywhere in hell  
will be written the words for ever4     
,they will be branded on every wave of  
flame1 they will be forged in every link
 of every chain1 they will be seen in   

every lurid flash of                    
brimstone--everywhere will be those     
words for ever4 ,everybody will be      
yelling and screaming them4 ,just think 
of that picture of the mercy and justice
 of the eternal ,father of us all4 ,if  
these words are necessary why are they  
not written now everywhere in the world1
 on every tree1 and every field1 and on 
every blade of grass8 ,i say ,i am      
entitled to have it so4 ,i say that it  
is ,god's duty to furnish me with the   
evidence4 ,here is another good book    
read in every ,sunday-school--a splendid
 book--,pollok's ,course of ,time4      
,every copy in the world of such books  
as that ought to be burned4 ,well1 the  
author pretends to have gone to hell1   
and ,i think that he ought to have      
stopped there4  ,the lecturer read the  
passage from the work descriptive of the
 torments of the damned1 and proceeded3 
,and that book is put into the hands of 
children in order that they may love and
 worship the most merciful ,god4 ,in old

 time they had to find a place for hell 
and they found a hundred places for it4 
,one says that it was under ,lake       
,avernus1 but the ,christians thought   
differently4 ,one divine tells us that  
it must be below the earth because      
,christ descended into hell4 ,another   
gives it as his opinion that hell is in 
the sun1 and he tells us that nobody1   
without an express revelation from ,god1
 can prove  that it is not there4 ,most 
likely4 ,well1 he had the idea at all   
events of utilizing the damned as fuel  
to warm the earth4 ,but ,i will quote   
from another poet--if it is lawful to   
call him a poet4 ,i mean ,tupper4       
,colonel ,ingersoll quoted from that    
orthodox author1 and continued3 ,another
 divine preached a sermon no further    
back than #ahgf1 in which he said that  
the damned will grow worse2 and the same
 divine says that the devil was the     
first ,universalist4 ,then ,i am on the 
side of the devil4  ,the fact is1 that  
you have got not merely to believe the  

bible2 but you must also believe in a   
certain interpretation of it1 and1 mind 
you1 you must also believe in the       
doctrine of the trinity4 ,i want to     
explain what that is1 so that you may   
never have an excuse for not knowing it4
  ,i quote from the best theologian that
 ever wrote4 ,then he went on to give in
 substance the ,athanasian definition of
 the trinity1 winding up with a long    
string of adjectives1 culminating in the
 description entirely incomprehensible4 
,if you don't understand it after that1 
it is you own fault4 ,now1 you must     
believe in that doctrine4 ,if you do    
not1 all the orthodox churches agree in 
condemning you to everlasting flames4   
,we have got to burn through all our    
lives simply with the view of making    
them happy4 ,we are taught to love our  
enemies1 to pray for those that         
persecute us1 to forgive4 ,should not   
the merciful ,god practice what he      
preaches8 ,i say that reverently4 ,why  
should he say1 ,forgive your enemies1 if

 he will not himself forgive8 ,why      
should he say ,pray for those that      
despise and persecute you1 but if they  
refuse to believe his doctrine he will  
burn them forever8 ,i cannot believe it4
 ,here is a little child1 residing in   
the purlieus of the city--some boy who  
is taught that it is his duty to steal  
by his mother1 who applauds his success 
and pats him on the head and calls him a
 good boy--would it be just to condemn  
him to an eternity of torture8 ,suppose 
there is a ,god2 let us bring to this   
question some common sense4  ,i care    
nothing about the doctrines of religions
 or creeds of the past4 ,let us come to 
the bar of the nineteenth century and   
judge matter by what we know1 by what we
 think1 by what we love4 ,but they say  
to us1 ,if you throw away the ,bible    
what are we to depend on then8 ,but no  
two persons in the world agree as to    
what the ,bible is1 what they are to    
believe1 or what they are not to        
believe4 ,it is like a guidepost that   

has been thrown down in some time of    
disaster1 and has been put up the wrong 
way4 ,nobody can accept its guidance1   
for nobody knows where it would direct  
him4 ,i say1 ,tear down the useless     
guidepost1 but they answer1 ,oh1 do not 
do that or we will have nothing to go   
by4 ,i would say1 ,old ,church1 you take
 that road and ,i will take this4       
,another minister has said that the     
,bible is the great town-clock1 at which
 we all may set our watches4 ,but ,i    
have said to a friend of that minister3 
,suppose we all should set our watches  
by that town-clock1 there would be many 
persons to tell you that in old times   
the long hand was the hour hand1 and    
besides1 the clock hasn't been wound up 
for a long time4 ,i say let us wait till
 the sun rises and set our watches by   
nature4 ,for my part1 ,i am willing to  
give up heaven to get rid of hell4 ,i   
had rather there should be no heaven    
than that any solitary soul should be   
condemned to suffer forever and ever4   

,but they tell me that the ,bible is the
 good book4 ,now1 in the ,old ,testament
 there is not in my judgment a single   
reference to another life4 ,is there a  
burial service mentioned in it in which 
a word of hope is spoken at the grave of
 the dead8 ,the idea of eternal life was
 not born of any book4 ,that wave of    
hope and joy ebbs and flows1 and will   
continue to ebb and flow as long as love
 kisses the lips of death4  ,let me tell
 you a tale of the ,persian religion  of
 a man who1 having done good for long   
years of his life1 presented himself at 
the gates of ,paradise1 but the gates   
remained closed against him4 ,he went   
back and followed up his good works for 
seven years longer1 and the gates of    
,paradise still remaining shut against  
him1 he toiled in works of charity until
 at last they were  opened unto him4    
,think of that1 pursued the lecturer1   
and send out your missionaries among    
those people4 ,there is no religion but 
goodness1 but justice1 but charity4     

,religion is not theory2 it is life4 ,it
 is not intellectual conviction2 it is  
divine humanity1 and nothing else4      
,colonel ,ingersoll here told another   
tale from the ,hindoo1 of a man who     
refused to enter ,paradise without a    
faithful dog1 urging that ingratitude   
was the blackest of all sins4 ,and the  
,god1 he said1 admitted him1 dog and    
all4 ,compare that religion with the    
orthodox tenets of the city of ,new     
,york4  ,there is a prayer which every  
,brahmin prays1 in which he declares    
that he will never enter into a final   
state of bliss alone1 but that          
everywhere he will strive for universal 
redemption2 that never will he leave the
 world of sin and sorrow1 but remain    
suffering and striving and sorrowing    
after universal salvation4 ,compare that
 with the orthodox idea1 and send out   
your missionaries to the benighted      
,hindoos4  ,the doctrine of hell is     
infamous beyond all power to express4 ,i
 wish there were words mean enough to   

express my feelings of loathing on this 
subject4 ,what harm has it not done8    
,what waste places has it not made8 ,it 
has planted misery and wretchedness in  
this world2 it peoples the future with  
selfish joys and lurid abysses of       
eternal flame4 ,but we are getting more 
sense every day4 ,we begin to despise   
those monstrous doctrines4 ,if you want 
to better men and women1 change their   
conditions here4 ,don't promise them    
something somewhere else4 ,one biscuit  
will do more good than all the tracts   
that were ever peddled in the world4    
,give them more whitewash1 more light1  
more air4 ,you have to change men       
physically before you change them       
intellectually4 ,i believe the time will
 come when every criminal will be       
treated as we now treat the diseased and
 sick1 when every penitentiary will     
become a reformatory1 and that if       
criminals go to them with hatred in     
their bosoms1 they will leave them      
without feelings of revenge4 ,let me    

tell you the story of ,orpheus and      
,eurydice4 ,eurydice had been carried   
away by the god of hell1 and ,orpheus1  
her lover1 went in quest of her4 ,he    
took with him his lyre1 and played such 
exquisite music that all hell was       
amazed4 ,ixion forgot his labors at the 
wheel1 the daughters of ,danaus ceased  
from their hopeless task1 ,tantalus     
forgot his thirst1 even ,pluto smiled1  
and1 for the first time in the history  
of hell1 the eyes of the ,furies were   
wet with tears4 ,as it was with the lyre
 of ,orpheus1 so it is to-day with the  
great harmonies of ,science1 which are  
rescuing from the prisons of            
superstition the torn and bleeding heart
 of man4      ,,ingersoll',s ,,lecture  
,,on ,,individuality1 ,,an ,,arraignment
 ,,of ,,the ,,church4  ,his soul was    
like a star and dwelt apart4   ,on every
 hand are the enemies of individuality1 
and mental freedom4 ,custom meets us at 
the cradle1--and leaves us only at the  
tomb4 ,our first questions are answered 

by ignorance1 and our last by           
superstition4 ,we are pushed and dragged
 by countless hands along the beaten    
track1 and our entire training can be   
summed up in the word suppression4  ,our
 desire to have a thing or to do a thing
 is considered as conclusive evidence   
that we ought to do it4  ,at every turn 
we run not to have it1 and ought not    
against a cherubim and a flaming sword1 
guarding some entrance to the ,eden of  
our desire4 ,we are allowed to          
investigate all subjects in which we    
feel no particular interest1 and to     
express the opinions of the majority    
with the utmost freedom4  ,we are taught
 that liberty of speech should never be 
carried to the extent of contradicting  
the dead witnesses of a popular         
superstition4  ,society offers continual
 rewards for self-betrayal1 and they are
 nearly all earned and claimed1 and some
 are paid4  ,we have all read accounts  
of ,christian gentlemen remarking when  
about to be hanged1 how much better it  

would have been for them if they had    
only followed a mother's advice6  ,but1 
after all1 how fortunate it is for the  
world that the maternal advice has not  
been followed6  ,how lucky it is for us 
all that it is somewhat unnatural for a 
human being to obey6 ,universal         
obedience is universal stagnation2      
disobedience is one of the conditions of
 progress4 ,select any age of the world 
and tell me what would have been the    
effect of implicit obedience4  ,suppose 
the church had had absolute control of  
the human mind at any time1 would not   
the word liberty and progress have been 
blotted from the human speech8  ,in     
defiance of advice1 the world has       
advanced4  ,suppose the astronomers had 
controlled the science of astronomy2    
suppose the doctors had controlled the  
science of medicine2 suppose kings had  
been left to fix the form of government6
  ,suppose our fathers had taken the    
advice of ,paul1 who was subject to the 
powers that be1 because they are        

ordained of ,god2 suppose the church    
could control the world today1 we would 
go back to chaos and old night4         
,philosophy would be branded as         
infamous2 science would again press its 
pale and thoughtful face against the    
prison bars2 and round the limbs of     
liberty would climb the bigot's flame4  
,it is a blessed thing that in every age
 some one has had individuality enough  
and courage enough to stand by his own  
convictions2 some one who had the grit  
to say his say4  ,i believe it was      
,magellan who said1 the church says the 
earth is flat2 but ,i have seen its     
shadow on the moon1 and ,i have more    
confidence even in a shadow than in the 
church4 ,on the prow of his ship were   
disobedience1 defiance1 scorn and       
success4  ,the trouble with most people 
is that they bow to what is called      
authority2 they have a certain reverence
 for the old because it is old4 ,they   
think a man is better for being dead1   
especially if he has been dead a long   

time1 and that the forefathers of their 
nation were the greatest and best of all
 mankind4  ,all these things they       
implicitly believe because it is popular
 and patriotic1 and because they were   
told so when very small1 and remember   
distinctly of hearing mother read it out
 of a book1 and they are all willing to 
swear that mother was a good woman4  ,it
 is hard to overestimate the influence  
of early training--in the direction of  
superstition4 ,you first teach children 
that a certain book is true--that it was
 written by ,god himself--that to       
question its truth is sin1 that to deny 
it is a crime1 and that should they die 
without believing that book they will be
 forever damned without benefit of      
clergy2 the consequence is that before  
they read that book they believe it to  
be true4  ,when they do read1 their     
minds are wholly unfitted to investigate
 its claim4  ,they accept it as a matter
 of course4  ,in this way the reason is 
overcome1 the sweet instincts of        

humanity are blotted from the heart1 and
 while reading its infamous pages even  
justice throws aside her scales1        
shrieking for revenge2 and charity1 with
 bloody hands1 applauds a deed of       
murder4  ,in this way we are taught that
 the revenge of man is the justice of   
,god1 that mercy is not the same        
everywhere4  ,in this way the ideas of  
our race have been subverted4 ,in this  
way we have made tyrants1 bigots1 and   
inquisitors4 ,in this way the brain of  
man has become a kind of palimpsest upon
 which1 and over the writings of        
,nature1 superstition has scribbled her 
countless lies4 ,our great trouble is   
that most teachers are dishonest4 ,they 
teach as certainties those things       
concerning which they entertain doubts4 
,they do not say1 ,we think this is so4 
but ,we know this is so4  ,they do not  
appeal to the reason of the pupil1 but  
they command his faith4  ,they keep all 
doubts to themselves2 they do not       
explain1 they assert4  ,all this is     

infamous4  ,in this way you make        
,christians1 but you cannot make men2   
you cannot make women4  ,you can make   
followers but no leaders2 disciples1 but
 no ,christs4  ,you may promise power1  
honor1 and happiness to all those who   
will blindly follow1 but you cannot keep
 your promise4  ,an eastern monarch said
 to a hermit1 ,come with me and ,i will 
give you power4  ,i have all the power  
that ,i know how to use1 replied the    
hermit4  ,come1 said the king1 ,i will  
give you wealth4  ,i have no wants that 
money can supply4  ,i will give you     
honor4 ,ah6 honor cannot be given2 it   
must be earned4  ,come1 said the king1  
making a last appeal1 and ,i will give  
you happiness4  ,no1 said the man of    
solitude2 there is no happiness without 
liberty1 and he who follows cannot be   
free4  ,you shall have liberty too4     
,then ,i will stay4 ,and all the king's 
courtiers thought the hermit a fool4    
,now and then somebody examines1 and1 in
 spite of all1 keeps up his manhood and 

has courage to follow where his reason  
leads4  ,then the pious get together and
 repeat wise saws and exchange knowing  
nods and most prophetic winks4  ,the    
stupidly wise sit owl-like on the dead  
limbs of the tree of knowledge1 and     
solemnly1 hoot4  ,wealth sneers1 and    
fashion laughs1 and respectability      
passes on the other side1 and scorn     
points with all her skinny fingers1 and1
 like the snakes of superstition1 writhe
 and hiss1 and slander lends her tongue1
 and infamy her brand1 perjury her oath1
 and the law its power2 and bigotry     
tortures and the church kills4  ,the    
church hates a thinker precisely for the
 same reason that a robber dislikes a   
sheriff1 or that a thief despises the   
prosecuting witness4 ,tyranny likes     
courtiers1 flatterers1 followers1       
fawners1 and superstition wants         
believers1 disciples1 zealots1          
hypocrites1 and subscribers4  ,the      
church demands worship1 the very thing  
that man should give to no being1 human 

or divine4  ,to worship another is to   
degrade yourself4  ,worship is awe1 and 
dread1 and vague fear1 and blind hope4  
,it is the spirit of worship that       
elevates the one and degrades the many2 
and manacles even its own hands4  ,the  
spirit of worship is the spirit of      
tyranny4  ,the worshiper always regrets 
that he is not the worshiped4  ,we      
should all remember that the intellect  
has no knees1 and that whatever the     
attitude of the body may be1 the brave  
soul is always found erect4 ,whoever    
worships1 abdicates4  ,whoever believes1
 at the commands of power1 tramples his 
own individuality beneath his feet1 and 
voluntarily robs himself of all that    
renders man superior to brute4  ,the    
despotism of faith is justified upon the
 ground that ,christian countries are   
the grandest and most prosperous of the 
world4  ,at one time the same thing     
could have been truly said in ,india1 in
 ,egypt1 in ,greece1 in ,rome1 and in   
every country that has in the history of

 the world1 swept to empire4  ,this     
argument proves too much not only1 but  
the assumption upon which it is based is
 utterly false4  ,numberless            
circumstances and countless conditions  
have produced the prosperity of the     
,christian world4  ,the truth is that we
 have advanced in spite of religious    
zeal1 ignorance1 and opposition4  ,the  
church has won no victories for the     
rights of man4  ,over every fortress of 
tyranny has waved1 and still waves1 the 
banner of the church4  ,wherever brave  
blood has been shed the sword of the    
church has been wet4  ,on every chain   
has been the sign of the cross4  ,the   
alter and the throne have leaned against
 and supported each other4  ,who can    
appreciate the infinite impudence of one
 man assuming to think for others8  ,who
 can imagine the impudence of a church  
that threatens to inflict eternal       
punishment upon those who honestly      
reject its claims and scorn its         
pretensions8  ,in the presence of the   

unknown we have all an equal right to   
guess4  ,over the vast plain called life
 we are all travelers1 and not one      
traveler is perfectly certain that he is
 going in the right direction4 ,true it 
is that no other plain is so well       
supplied with guideboards4 ,at every    
turn and crossing you find them1 and    
upon each one is written the exact      
direction and distance4  ,one great     
trouble is1 however1 that these boards  
are all different1 and the result is    
that most travelers are confused in     
proportion to the number they read4     
,thousands of people are around each of 
these signs1 and each one is doing his  
best to convince the traveler that his  
particular board is the only one upon   
which the least reliance can be placed1 
and that if his road is taken the reward
 for so doing will be infinite and      
eternal1 while all the other roads are  
said to lead to hell1 and all the makers
 of the other guideboards are declared  
to be heretics1 hypocrites1 and liars4  

,well1 says a traveler you may be right 
in what you say1 but allow me at least  
to read some of the other directions and
 examine a little into their claims4  ,i
 wish to rely a little upon my own      
judgment in a matter of such great      
importance4  ,no sir6 shouts the zealot2
 that is the very thing you are not     
allowed to do4 ,you must go my way1     
without investigation or you are as good
 as damned already4  ,well1 says the    
traveler1 if that is so1 ,i believe ,i  
had better go your way4  ,and so most of
 them go along1 taking the word of those
 who know as little as themselves4  ,now
 and then comes one who1 in spite of all
 threats1 calmly examines the claims of 
all1 and as calmly rejects them all4    
,these travelers take roads of their    
own1 and are denounced by all the others
 as infidels and atheists4  ,in my      
judgment every human being should take a
 road of his own4 ,every mind should be 
true to itself2 should think1           
investigate and conclude for itself4    

,this is a duty alike incumbent upon    
pauper and prince4 ,every soul should   
repel dictation and tyranny1 no matter  
from what source they come--from earth  
or heaven1 from men or gods4 ,besides1  
every traveler upon this vast plain     
should give to every other traveler his 
best idea as to the road that should be 
taken4 ,each is entitled to the honest  
opinion of all4  ,and there is but one  
way to get an honest opinion upon any   
subject whatever4  ,the person giving   
the opinion must be free from fear4     
,the merchant must not fear to lose his 
custom1 the doctor his practice1 nor the
 preacher his pulpit4  ,there can be no 
advance without liberty4 ,suppression of
 honest inquiry is retrogression1 and   
must end in intellectual night4  ,the   
tendency of orthodox religion today is  
towards mental slavery and barbarism4   
,not one of the orthodox ministers dare 
preach what he thinks if he knows that a
 majority of his congregation think     
otherwise4  ,he knows that every member 

of his church stands guard over his     
brain with a creed1 like a club1 in his 
hand4  ,he knows that he is not expected
 to search after the truth1 but that he 
is employed to defend the creed4  ,every
 pulpit is a pillory in which stands a  
hired culprit1 defending the justice of 
his own imprisonment4  ,is it desirable 
that all should be exactly alike in     
their religious convictions8  ,is any   
such thing possible8  ,do we not know   
that there are no two persons alike in  
the whole world8  ,no two trees1 no two 
leaves1 no two anythings that are alike8
  ,infinite diversity is the law4       
,religion tries to force all minds into 
one mold4  ,knowing that all cannot     
believe1 the church endeavors to make   
all say that they believe4 ,she longs   
for the unity of hypocrisy1 and detests 
the splendid diversity of individuality 
and freedom4  ,nearly all people stand  
in great horror of annihilation1 and yet
 to give up your individuality is to    
annihilate yourself4  ,mental slavery is

 mental death1 and every man who has    
given up his intellectual freedom is the
 living coffin of his dead soul4  ,in   
this sense every church is a cemetery   
and every creed an epitaph4  ,we should 
all remember that to be like other folks
 is to be unlike ourselves1 and that    
nothing can be more detestable in       
character than servile imitation4  ,the 
great trouble with imitation is that we 
are apt to ape those who are in reality 
far below us4  ,after all1 the poorest  
bargain that a human being can make is  
to trade off his individuality for what 
is called respectability4  ,there is no 
saying more degrading than this3 ,it is 
better to be the tail of a lion than the
 head of a dog4  ,it is a responsibility
 to think and act for yourself4  ,most  
people hate responsibility2 therefore   
they join something and become the tail 
of some lion4 ,they say1 ,my party can  
act for me--my church can do my         
thinking4 ,it is enough for me to pay   
taxes and obey the lion to which ,i     

belong without troubling myself about   
the right1 the wrong1 or the why or the 
wherefore of anything whatever4 ,these  
people are respectable4 ,they hate      
reformers1 and dislike exceedingly to   
have their minds disturbed4  ,they      
regard convictions as very disagreeable 
things to have4  ,they love forms1 and  
enjoy1 beyond everything else1 telling  
what a splendid tail their lion has1 and
 what a troublesome dog their neighbor  
is4  ,besides this natural inclination  
to avoid personal responsibility is and 
always has been the fact that every     
religionist has warned men against the  
presumption and wickedness of thinking  
for themselves4  ,the reason has been   
denounced by all ,christendom as the    
only unsafe guide4  ,the church has left
 nothing undone to prevent1 man         
following the logic of his brain4  ,the 
plainest facts have been covered with   
the mantle of mystery4  ,the grossest   
absurdities have been declared to be    
self-evident facts4  ,the order of      

nature has been1 as it were1 reversed1  
in order that the hypocritical few might
 govern the honest many4  ,the man who  
stood by the conclusion of his reason   
was denounced as a scorner and hater of 
,god and his holy church4 ,from the     
organization of the first church until  
this moment every member has borne the  
marks of collar and chain1 and whip4    
,no man ever seriously attempted to     
reform a church without being cast out  
and hunted down by the hounds of        
hypocrisy4  ,the highest crime against a
 creed is to change it4  ,reformation is
 treason4  ,thousands of young men are  
being educated at this moment by the    
various churches4  ,what for8  ,in order
 that they may be prepared to           
investigate the phenomena by which we   
are surrounded8  ,no6  ,the object1 and 
the only object1 is that they may be    
prepared to defend a creed4  ,that they 
may learn the arguments of their        
respective churches and repeat them in  
the dull ears of a thoughtless          

congregation4  ,if one after being thus 
trained at the expense of the           
,methodists turns ,presbyterian or      
,baptist1 he is denounced as an         
ungrateful wretch4  ,honest             
investigation is utterly impossible     
within the pale of any church1 for the  
reason that if you think the church is  
right you will not investigate1 and if  
you think it wrong1 the church will     
investigate you4  ,the consequence of   
this is that most of the theological    
literature is the result of suppression1
 of fear1 of tyranny1 and hypocrisy4    
,every orthodox writer necessarily said 
to himself1 ,if ,i write that1 my wife  
and children may want for bread1 ,i will
 be covered with shame and branded with 
infamy1 but if ,i write this1 ,i will   
gain position1 power and honor4  ,my    
church rewards defenders and burns      
reformers4  ,under these conditions1 all
 your ,scotts1 ,henrys and ,mc,knights  
have written2 and weighed in these      
scales what are their commentaries      

worth8  ,they are not the ideas and     
decisions of honest judges1 but the     
sophisms of the paid attorneys of       
superstition4  ,who can tell what the   
world has lost by this infamous system  
of suppression8 ,how many grand thinkers
 died with the mailed hand of           
superstition on their lips8  ,how many  
splendid ideas have perished in the     
cradle of the brain1 strangled in the   
poisonous coils of that python1 the     
church6  ,for thousands of years a      
thinker was hunted down like an escaped 
convict4  ,to him1 who had braved the   
church1 every door was shut1 every knife
 was open4  ,to shelter him from the    
wild storm1 to give him a crust of bread
 when dying1 to put a cup of water to   
his cracked and bleeding lips2 these    
were all crimes1 not one of which the   
church ever did forgive2 and with the   
justice taught of ,god his helpless     
children were exterminated as scorpions 
and vipers4  ,who at the present day can
 imagine the courage1 the devotion to   

principle1 the intellectual and moral   
grandeur it once required to be an      
infidel1 to brave the church1 her racks1
 her fagots1 her dungeons1 her tongues  
of fire--to defy and scorn her heaven   
and her devil and her ,god8 ,they were  
the noblest sons of earth4  ,they were  
the real saviors of our race1 the       
destroyers of superstition and the      
creators of science4  ,they were the    
real ,titans who bared their grand      
foreheads to all the thunderbolts of all
 the gods4  ,the church has been1 and   
still is1 the great robber4  ,she has   
rifled not only the pockets but the     
brains of the world4  ,she is the stone 
at the sepulcher of liberty2 the upas   
tree in whose shade the intellect of man
 has withered2 the gorgon beneath whose 
gaze the human heart has turned to      
stone4  ,under her influence even the   
,protestant mother expects to be in     
heaven1 while her brave boy1 who is     
fighting for the rights of man1 shall   
writhe in hell4  ,it is said that some  

of the ,indian tribes place the heads of
 their children between pieces of bark  
until the form of the skull is          
permanently changed4  ,to us this seems 
a most shocking custom1 and yet1 after  
all1 is it as bad as to put the souls of
 our children in the straight-jacket of 
a creed1 to so utterly deform their     
minds that they regard the ,god of the  
bible as a being of infinite mercy1 and 
really consider it a virtue to believe a
 thing just because it seems            
unreasonable8  ,every child in the      
,christian world has uttered its        
wondering protest against this outrage4 
,all the machinery of the church is     
constantly employed in thus corrupting  
the reason of children4  ,in every      
possible way they are robbed of their   
own thoughts and forced to accept the   
statements of others4  ,every           
,sunday-school has for its object the   
crushing out of every germ of           
individuality4  ,the poor children are  
taught that nothing can be more         

acceptable to ,god than unreasoning     
obedience and eyeless faith1 and that to
 believe that ,god did an impossible act
 is far better than to do a good one    
yourself4 ,they are told that all the   
religions have been simply the ,john the
 ,baptist of ours2 that all the gods of 
antiquity have withered and sunken into 
the ,jehovah of the ,jews2 that all the 
longings and aspirations of the race are
 realized in the motto of the           
,evangelical ,alliance1 ,liberty in     
non-essentials2 that all there is1 or   
ever was of religion can be found in the
 apostle's creed2 that there is nothing 
left to be discovered2 that all the     
thinkers are dead1 and all the living   
should simply be believers2 that we have
 only to repeat the epitaph found on the
 grave of wisdom2 that graveyards are   
the best possible universities1 and that
 the children must be forever beaten    
with the bones of the fathers4  ,it has 
always seemed absurd to suppose that a  
,god would choose for his companions    

during all eternity the dear souls whose
 highest and only ambition is to obey4  
,he certainly would now and then be     
tempted to make the same remark made by 
an ,english gentleman to his poor guest4
 ,this gentleman had invited a man in   
humble circumstances to dine with him4  
,the man was so overcome with honor that
 to everything the gentleman said he    
replied1 ,yes4  ,tired at last with the 
monotony of acquiescence1 the gentleman 
cried out1 ,for ,god's sake1 my good    
man1 say ',no' just once1 so there will 
be two of us4  ,is it possible that an  
infinite ,god created this world simply 
to be the dwelling-place of slaves and  
serfs8  ,simply for the purpose of      
raising orthodox ,christians2 that he   
did a few miracles to astonish them2    
that all the evils of life are simply   
his punishments1 and that he is finally 
going to turn heaven into a kind of     
religious museum1 filled with ,baptist  
barnacles1 petrified ,presbyterians1 and
 ,methodist mummies8 ,i want no heaven  

for which ,i must give my reason2 no    
happiness in exchange for my liberty1   
and no immortality that demands the     
surrender of my individuality4  ,better 
rot in the windowless tomb to which     
there is no door but the red mouth of   
the pallid worm1 than wear the jeweled  
collar even of a ,god4  ,religion does  
not and cannot contemplate man as free4 
,she accepts only the homage of the     
prostrate1 and scorns the offerings of  
those who stand erect4  ,she cannot     
tolerate the liberty of thought4  ,the  
wide and sunny fields belong not to her 
domain4  ,the star-lit heights of genius
 and individuality are above and beyond 
her appreciation and power4  ,her       
subjects cringe at her feet covered with
 the dust of obedience4  ,they are not  
athletes standing posed by rich life and
 brave endeavor like the antique        
statues1 but shriveled deformities      
studying with furtive glance the cruel  
face of power4  ,no religionist seems   
capable of comprehending this plain     

truth4 ,there is this difference between
 thought and action3 ,for our actions we
 are responsible to ourselves and to    
those injuriously affected2 for thoughts
 there can1 in the nature of things1 be 
no responsibility to gods or men1 here  
or hereafter4  ,and yet the ,protestant 
has vied with the ,catholic in          
denouncing freedom of thought1 and while
 ,i was taught to hate ,catholicism with
 every drop of my blood1 it is only     
justice to say that in all essential    
particulars it is precisely the same as 
every other religion4  ,luther denounced
 mental liberty with all the coarse and 
brutal vigor of his nature2 ,calvin     
despised from the very bottom of his    
petrified heart anything that even      
looked like religious toleration1 and   
solemnly declared to advocate it was to 
crucify ,christ afresh4  ,all the       
founders of all the orthodox churches   
have advocated the same infamous tenet4 
,the truth is that what is called       
religion is necessarily inconsistent    

with free thought4  ,a believer is a    
songless bird in a cage1 a freethinker  
is an eagle parting the clouds with     
tireless wings4  ,at present1 owing to  
the inroads that have been made by      
liberals and infidels1 most of the      
churches pretend to be in favor of      
religious liberty4  ,of these churches  
we will ask this question3 ,how can a   
man who conscientiously believes in     
religious liberty worship a ,god who    
does not8  ,they say to us3 ,we will not
 imprison you on account of your belief1
 but our ,god will4  ,we will not burn  
you because you throw away the sacred   
scriptures2 but their ,author will1 ,we 
think it an infamous crime to persecute 
our brethren for opinion's sake2 but the
 ,god whom we ignorantly worship will on
 that account damn his own children     
forever4 ,why is it that these          
,christians do not only detest the      
infidels1 but so cordially despise each 
other8  ,why do they refuse to worship  
in the temples of each other8  ,why do  

they care so little for the damnation of
 men1 and so much for the baptism of    
children8  ,why will they adorn their   
churches with the money of thieves1 and 
flatter vice for the sake of            
subscription8  ,why will they attempt to
 bribe science to certify to the        
writings of ,god8  ,why do they torture 
the words of the great into an          
acknowledgment of the truth of          
,christianity8 ,why do they stand with  
hat in hand before presidents1 kings1   
emperors and scientists1 begging like   
,lazarus for a few crumbs of religious  
comfort8  ,why are they so delighted to 
find an allusion to providence in the   
message of ,lincoln8 ,why are they so   
afraid that some one will find out that 
,paley wrote an essay in favor of the   
,epicurean philosophy1 and that ,sir    
,isaac ,newton was once an infidel8 ,why
 are they so anxious to show that       
,voltaire recanted1 that ,paine died    
palsied with fear2 that the ,emperor    
,julian cried out1 ,galilean1 thou hast 

conquered2  that ,gibbon died a         
,catholic2 that ,agassiz had a little   
confidence in ,moses2 that the old      
,napoleon was once complimentary enough 
to say that he thought ,christ greater  
than himself or ,caesar2 that           
,washington was caught on his knees at  
,valley ,forge2 that blunt old ,ethan   
,allen told his child to believe the    
religion of her mother2 that ,franklin  
said1 ,don't unchain the tiger2  that   
,volney got frightened in a storm at    
sea1 and that ,oakes ,ames was a        
wholesale liar8  ,is it because the     
foundation of their temple is crumbling1
 because the walls are cracked1 the     
pillars leaning1 the great dome swaying 
to its fall1 and because science has    
written over the high altar its mene1   
mene1 tekel1 upharsin1 the old words    
destined to be the epitaph of all       
religions8  ,every assertion of         
individual independence has been a step 
towards infidelity4 ,luther started     
toward ,humboldt1 ,wesley toward        

,bradlaugh4 ,to really reform the church
 is to destroy it4  ,every new religion 
has a little less superstition than the 
old1 so that the religion of science is 
but a question of time4  ,i will not say
 the church has been an unmitigated evil
 in all respects4  ,its history is      
infamous and glorious4 ,it has delighted
 in the production of extremes4  ,it has
 furnished murderers for its own        
martyrs4  ,it has sometimes fed the     
body1 but has always starved the soul4  
,it has been a charitable highwayman1 a 
generous pirate4  ,it has produced some 
angels and a multitude of devils4 ,it   
has built more prisons than asylums4    
,it made a hundred orphans while it     
cared for one4 ,in one hand it carried  
the alms-dish1 and in the other a sword4
 ,it has founded schools and endowed    
universities for the purpose of         
destroying true learning4  ,it filled   
the world with hypocrites and zealots1  
and upon the cross of its own ,christ it
 crucified the individuality of man4    

,it has sought to destroy the           
independence of the soul1 and put the   
world upon its knees4  ,this is its     
crime4 ,the commission of this crime was
 necessary to its existence4  ,in order 
to compel obedience it declared that it 
had the truth and all the truth2 that   
,god had made it the keeper of all his  
secrets2 his agent and his vice-agent4  
,it declared that all other religions   
were false and infamous4  ,it rendered  
all compromises impossible1 and all     
thought superfluous4  ,thought was an   
enemy1 obedience was its friend4        
,investigation was fraught with danger2 
therefore investigation was suppressed4 
,the holy of holies was behind the      
curtain4  ,all this was upon the        
principle that forgers hate to have the 
signature examined by an expert1 and    
that imposture detests curiosity4  ,he  
that hath ears to hear let him hear1 has
 always been one of the favorite texts  
of the church4  ,in short1 ,christianity
 has always opposed every forward       

movement of the human race4  ,across the
 highway of progress it has always been 
building breastworks of bibles1 tracts1 
commentaries1 prayerbooks1 creeds1      
dogmas and platforms1 and at every      
advance the ,christians have gathered   
behind these heaps of rubbish and shot  
the poisoned arrows of malice at the    
soldiers of freedom4  ,and even the     
liberal ,christian of today has his holy
 of holies1 and in the niche of the     
temple of his heart has his idol4  ,he  
still clings to a part of the old       
superstition1 and all the pleasant      
memories of the old belief linger in the
 horizon of his thoughts like a sunset4 
,we associate the memory of those we    
love with the religion of our childhood4
  ,it seems almost a sacrilege to rudely
 destroy the idols that our fathers     
worshiped1 and turn their sacred and    
beautiful truths into the silly fables  
of barbarism4  ,some throw away the old 
testament and cling to the new1 while   
others give up everything except the    

idea that there is a personal ,god1 and 
that in some wonderful way we are the   
objects of ,his care4  ,even this1 in my
 opinion1 as science1 the great         
iconoclast1 marches onward1 will have to
 be abandoned with the rest4  ,the great
 ghost will surely share the fate of the
 little ones4  ,they fled at the first  
appearance of the dawn1 and the other   
will vanish with the perfect day4 ,until
 then1 the independence of man is little
 more than a dream4 ,overshadowed by an 
immense personality--in the presence of 
the irresponsible and the infinite1 the 
individuality of man is lost1 and he    
falls prostrate in the very dust of     
fear4 ,beneath the frown of the         
absolute1 man stands a wretched1        
trembling slave--beneath his smile be is
 at best only a fortunate serf4         
,governed by a being whose arbitrary    
will is law1 chained to the chariot of  
power1 his destiny rests in the pleasure
 of the unknown4 ,under these           
circumstances what wretched object can  

he have in lengthening out his aimless  
life8  ,and yet1 in most minds1 there is
 a vague fear of what the gods may do1  
and the safe side is considered the best
 side4  ,a gentleman walking among the  
ruins of ,athens came upon a fallen     
statue of ,jupiter4  ,making an         
exceedingly low bow1 he said3 ,jupiter1 
,i salute thee4  ,he then added3 ,should
 you ever get up in the world again1 do 
not forget1 ,i pray you1 that ,i treated
 you politely while you were prostrate4 
,we have all been taught by the church  
that nothing is so well calculated to   
excite the ire of ,deity as to express a
 doubt as to ,his existence1 and that to
 deny it is an unpardonable sin4        
,numerous well-attested instances were  
referred to1 of atheists being struck   
dead for denying the existence of ,god4 
,according to these religious people1   
,god is infinitely above us in every    
respect1 infinitely merciful1 and yet   
,he cannot bear to hear a poor finite   
man honestly question ,his existence4   

,knowing as ,he does that ,his children 
are groping in darkness and struggling  
with doubt and fear2 knowing that ,he   
could enlighten them if ,he would1 ,he  
still holds the expression of a sincere 
doubt as to ,his existence the most     
infamous of crimes4  ,according to the  
orthodox logic1 ,god having furnished us
 with imperfect minds has a right to    
demand a perfect result4  ,suppose ,mr4 
,smith should overhear a couple of small
 bugs holding a discussion as to the    
existence of ,mr4 ,smith1 and suppose   
one should have the temerity to declare 
upon the honor of a bug that he had     
examined the whole question to the best 
of his ability1 including the argument  
based upon design1 and had come to the  
conclusion that no man by the name of   
,smith had ever lived4 ,think then of   
,mr4 ,smith flying into an ecstasy of   
rage1 crushing the atheist bug beneath  
his iron heel1 while he exclaimed1 ,i   
will teach you1 blasphemous wretch1 that
 ,smith is a diabolical fact6 ,what then

 can we think of ,god who would open the
 artillery of heaven upon one of his own
 children for simply expressing his     
honest thought8 ,and what man1 who      
really thinks1 can help repeating the   
words of ,aeneas1 ,if there are gods    
they certainly pay no attention to the  
affairs of man4  ,in religious ideas and
 conceptions there has been for ages a  
slow and steady development4  ,at the   
bottom of the ladder 7speaking of modern
 times7 is ,catholicism1 and at the top 
are atheism and science4 ,the           
intermediate rounds of this ladder are  
occupied by the various sects1 whose    
name is legion4  ,but whatever may be   
the truth on any subject has nothing to 
do with our right to investigate that   
subject1 and express any opinion we may 
form4 ,all that ,i ask is the right ,i  
freely accord to all others4  ,a few    
years ago a ,methodist clergyman took it
 upon himself to give me a piece of     
friendly advice4  ,although you may     
disbelieve the bible1 said he1 you ought

 not to say so4  ,that you should keep  
to yourself4 ,do you believe the bible8 
said ,i4  ,he replied1  ,most assuredly4
 ,to which ,i retorted1 ,your answer    
conveys no information to me4  ,you may 
be following your own advice4  ,you told
 me to suppress my opinions4 ,of course 
a man who will advise others to         
dissimulate will not always be          
particular about telling the truth      
himself4  ,it is the duty of each and   
every one to maintain his individuality4
 ,this above all1 to thine own self be  
true1 and it must follow as the night   
the day1 thou canst not then be false to
 any man4  ,it is a magnificent thing to
 be the sole proprietor of yourself4    
,it is a terrible thing to wake up at   
night and say3 ,there is nobody in this 
bed6  ,it is humiliating to know that   
your ideas are all borrowed1 and that   
you are indebted to your memory for your
 principles1 that your religion is      
simply one of your habits1 and that you 
would have convictions if they were only

 contagious4  ,it is mortifying to feel 
that you belong to a mental mob and cry 
crucify him because the others do4 ,that
 you reap what the great and brave have 
sown1 and that you can benefit the world
 only by leaving it4  ,surely every     
human being ought to attain to the      
dignity of the unit4 ,surely it is worth
 something to be one and to feel that   
the census of the universe would not be 
complete without counting you4  ,surely 
there is grandeur in knowing that in the
 realm of thought1 at least1 you are    
without a chain2 that you have the right
 to explore all heights and all depths2 
that there are no walls1 fences1        
prohibited places1 nor sacred corners in
 all the vast expanse of thought2 that  
your intellect owes no allegiance to any
 being1 human or divine2 that you hold  
all in fee and upon no condition and by 
no tenure whatever2 that in the world of
 mind you are relieved from all personal
 dictation1 and from the ignorant       
tyranny of majorities4  ,surely it is   

worth something to feel that there are  
no priests1 no popes1 no parties1 no    
governments1 no kings1 no gods to whom  
your intellect can be compelled to pay a
 reluctant homage4  ,surely it is a joy 
to know that all the cruel ingenuity of 
bigotry can devise no prison1 no lock1  
no cell1 in which for one instant to    
confine a thought2 that ideas cannot be 
dislocated by racks1 nor crushed in iron
 boots1 nor burned with fire4  ,surely  
it is sublime to think that the brain is
 a castle1 and that within its curious  
bastions and winding halls the soul1 in 
spite of all worlds and all beings1 is  
the supreme sovereign of itself4        
,,ingersoll',s ,,lecture ,,on ,,humboldt
    ,ladies and ,gentlemen3 ,great minds
 seem to be a part of the infinite4     
,those possessing them seem to be       
brothers of the mountains and the seas4 
,humboldt was one of these4  ,he was one
 of the few great enough to rise above  
the superstition and prejudice of his   
time1 and to know that experience1      

observation and reason are the only     
basis of knowledge4  ,he became one of  
the greatest of men in spite of having  
been born rich and noble--in spite of   
position4  ,i say in spite of these     
things1 because wealth and position are 
generally the enemies of genius1 and the
 destroyers of talent4  ,it is often    
said of this or that man that he is a   
self-made man--that he was born of the  
poorest and humblest parents1 and that  
with every obstacle to overcome he      
became great4  ,this is a mistake4      
,poverty is generally an advantage4     
,most of the intellectual giants of the 
world have been nursed at the sad but   
loving breast of poverty4  ,most of     
those who have climbed highest on the   
shining ladder of fame commenced at the 
lowest round4  ,they were reared in the 
straw-thatched cottages of ,europe1 in  
the log-houses of ,america1 in the      
factories of the great cities1 in the   
midst of toil1 in the smoke and din of  
labor1 and on the verge of want4 ,they  

were rocked by the feet of mothers whose
 hands1 at the same time1 were busy with
 the needle or the wheel4  ,it is hard  
for the rich to resist the thousand     
allurements of pleasure1 and so ,i say  
that ,humboldt1 in spite of having been 
born to wealth and high social position1
 became truly and grandly great4  ,in   
the antiquated and romantic castle of   
,tegel1 by the side of the pine forest1 
on the shore of the charming lake1 near 
the beautiful city of ,berlin1 the great
 ,humboldt1 one hundred years ago       
to-day1 was born1 and there he was      
educated after the method suggested by  
,rousseau--,campe1 the philologist and  
critic1 and the intellectual ,kunth     
being his tutors4 ,there he received the
 impressions that determined his career2
 there the great idea that the universe 
is governed by law took possession of   
his mind1 and there he dedicated his    
life to the demonstration of this       
sublime truth4  ,he came to the         
conclusion that the source of man's     

unhappiness is his ignorance of nature4 
,he longed to give a physical           
description of the universe--a grand    
picture of nature2 to account for all   
phenomena2 to discover the laws         
governing the world2 to do away with    
that splendid delusion called           
special-providence1 and to establish the
 fact that the universe is governed by  
law4  ,to establish this truth was1 and 
is1 of infinite importance to mankind4  
,that fact is the death-knell of        
superstition2 it gives liberty to every 
soul1 annihilates fear1 and ushers in   
the ,age of ,reason4  ,the object of    
this illustrious man was to comprehend  
the phenomena of physical objects in    
their general connection1 and to        
represent nature as one great whole1    
moved and animated by internal forces4  
,for this purpose he turned his         
attention to descriptive botany1        
traversing distant lands and mountain   
ranges to ascertain with certainty the  
geographical distribution of plants4    

,he investigated the laws regulating the
 differences of temperature and climate1
 and the changes of the atmosphere4  ,he
 studied the formation of the earth's   
crust1 explored the deepest mines1      
ascended the highest mountains1 and     
wandered through the craters of extinct 
volcanoes4  ,he became thoroughly       
acquainted with chemistry1 with         
astronomy1 with terrestrial magnetism2  
and as the investigation of one subject 
leads to all others1 for the reason that
 there is a mutual dependence and a     
necessary connection between all facts1 
so ,humboldt became acquainted with all 
the known sciences4  ,his fame does not 
depend so much upon his discoveries     
7although he discovered enough to make  
hundreds of reputations7 as upon his    
vast and splendid generalizations4  ,he 
was to science what ,shakespeare was to 
the drama4  ,he found1 so to speak1 the 
world full of unconnected facts1 all    
portions of a vast system--parts of a   
great machine2 he discovered the        

connection that each bears to all1 put  
them together1 and demonstrated beyond  
all contradiction that the earth is     
governed by law4  ,he knew that to      
discover the connection of phenomena is 
the primary aim of all natural          
investigation4  ,he was infinitely      
practical4  ,origin and destiny were    
questions with which he had nothing to  
do4  ,his surroundings made him what he 
was4  ,in accordance with a law not     
fully comprehended1 he was a production 
of his time4  ,great men do not live    
alone2 they are surrounded by the great2
 they are the instruments used to       
accomplish the tendencies of their      
generation2 they fulfill the prophecies 
of their age4  ,nearly all of the       
scientific men of the eighteenth century
 had the same idea entertained by       
,humboldt1 but most of them in a dim and
 confused way4  ,there was1 however1 a  
general belief among the intelligent    
that the world is governed by law1 and  
that there really exists a connection   

between all facts1 or that all facts are
 simply the different aspects of a      
general fact1 and that the task of      
science is to discover this connection2 
to comprehend this general fact or to   
announce the laws of things4  ,germany  
was full of thought1 and her            
universities swarmed with philosophers  
and grand thinkers in every department  
of knowledge4  ,humboldt was the friend 
and companion of the greatest poets1    
historians1 philologists1 artists1      
statesmen1 critics and logicians of his 
time4  ,he was the companion of         
,schiller1 who believed that man would  
be regenerated through the influence of 
the beautiful2 of ,goethe1 the grand    
patriarch of ,german literature2 of     
,wieland1 who has been called the       
,voltaire of ,germany2 of ,herder1 who  
wrote the outlines of a philosophical   
history of man2 of ,kotzebue1 who lived 
in the world of romance2 of             
,schleiermacher1 the pantheist2 of      
,schlegel1 who gave to his country the  

enchanted realm of ,shakespeare--of the 
sublime ,kant1 author of the first work 
published in ,germany on ,pure ,reason2 
of ,fichte1 the infinite idealist2 of   
,schopenhauer1 the ,european ,buddhist  
who followed the great ,gautama to the  
painless and dreamless ,nirvana1 and of 
hundreds of others whose names are      
familiar to and honored by the          
scientific world4  ,the ,german mind had
 been grandly roused from the long      
lethargy of the dark ages of ignorance1 
fear and faith4  ,guided by the holy    
light of reason1 every department of    
knowledge was investigated1 enriched and
 illustrated4  ,humboldt breathed the   
atmosphere of investigation2 old ideas  
were abandoned2 old creeds1 hallowed by 
centuries1 were thrown aside2 thought   
became courageous2 the athlete1 ,reason1
 challenged to mortal combat the        
monsters of superstition4  ,no wonder   
that under these influences ,humboldt   
formed the great purpose of presenting  
to the world a picture of nature1 in    

order that men might1 for the first     
time1 behold the face of their ,mother4 
,europe becoming too small for his      
genius1 he visited the tropics in the   
new world1 where1 in the most           
circumscribed limits1 he could find the 
greatest number of plants1 of animals1  
and the greatest diversity of climate1  
that he might ascertain the laws        
governing the production and            
distribution of plants1 animals and men1
 and the effects of climate upon them   
all4  ,he sailed along the gigantic     
,amazon--the mysterious                 
,orinoco--traversed the ,pampas--climbed
 the ,andes until he stood upon the     
crags of ,chimborazo1 more than eighteen
 thousand feet above the level of the   
sea1 and climbed on until blood flowed  
from his eyes and lips4  ,for nearly    
five years he pursued his investigations
 in the new world1 accompanied by the   
intrepid ,bonpland4 ,nothing escaped his
 attention4  ,he was the best           
intellectual organ of these new         

revelations of science4  ,he was calm1  
reflective and eloquent2 filled with a  
sense of the beautiful1 and the love of 
truth4  ,his collections were immense1  
and valuable beyond calculation to every
 science4  ,he endured innumerable      
hardships1 braved countless dangers in  
unknown and savage lands1 and exhausted 
his fortune for the advancement of true 
learning4  ,upon his return to ,europe  
he was hailed as the second ,columbus2  
as the scientific discoverer of         
,america2 as the revealer of a new      
world2 as the great demonstrator of the 
sublime truth that universe is governed 
by law4  ,i have seen a picture of the  
old man1 sitting upon a mountain        
side--above him the eternal snow2 below1
 smiling valley of the tropics1 filled  
with vine and palm4  ,his chin upon his 
breast1 his eyes deep1 thoughtful and   
calm1 his forehead majestic--grander    
than the mountain upon which he sat4    
,crowned with the snow of his whitened  
hair1 he looked the intellectual        

autocrat of this world4  ,not satisfied 
with his discoveries in ,america1 he    
crossed the steppes of ,asia1 the wastes
 of ,siberia1 the great ,ural range1    
adding to the knowledge of mankind at   
every step4  ,his energy acknowledged no
 obstacle1 his life knew no leisure2    
every day was filled with labor and with
 thought4  ,he was one of the apostles  
of science1 and he served his divine    
master with a self-sacrificing zeal that
 knew no abatement--with an ardor that  
constantly increased1 and with a        
devotion unwavering and constant as the 
polar star4  ,in order that the people  
at large might have the benefit of his  
numerous discoveries1 and his vast      
knowledge1 he delivered at ,berlin a    
course of lectures1 consisting of       
sixty-one free addresses1 upon the      
following subjects3  ,five upon the     
nature and limits of physical geography4
  ,three were devoted to a history of   
science4  ,two to inducements to a study
 of natural science4  ,sixteen on the   

heavens4  ,five on the form1 density1   
latent heat1 and magnetic power of the  
earth1 and to the polar light4  ,four   
were on the nature of the crust of the  
earth1 on hot springs1 earthquakes and  
volcanoes4  ,two on mountains1 and the  
type of their formation4  ,two on the   
form of the earth's surface1 on the     
connection of continents1 and the       
elevation of soil over ravines4  ,three 
on the sea as a globular fluid          
surrounding the earth4  ,ten on the     
atmosphere--as an elastic fluid         
surrounding the earth1 and on the       
distribution of heat4  ,one on the      
geographic distribution of organized    
matter in general1  ,three on the       
geography of plants4  ,three on the     
geography of animals2 and  ,two on the  
races of men4  ,these lectures are what 
is known as the ,cosmos1 and present a  
scientific picture of the world--of     
infinite diversity in unity2 of         
ceaseless motion in the eternal grasp of
 law4  ,these lectures contain the      

result of his investigation1 observation
 and experience2 they furnish the       
connection between phenomena2 they      
disclose some of the changes through    
which the earth has passed in the       
countless ages2 the history of          
vegetation1 animals and men2 the effects
 of climate upon individuals and        
nations2 the relation we sustain to     
other worlds1 and demonstrate that all  
phenomena1 whether insignificant or     
grand1 exist in accordance with         
inexorable law4  ,there are some truths1
 however1 that we never should forget3  
,superstition has always been the       
relentless enemy of science2 faith has  
been a hater of demonstration2 hypocrisy
 has been sincere only in its dread of  
truth1 and all religions are            
inconsistent with mental freedom4       
,since the murder of ,hypatia in the    
fifth century1 when the polished blade  
of ,greek philosophy was broken by the  
club of ignorant ,catholicism1 until    
today1 superstition has detested every  

effort of reason4  ,it is almost        
impossible to conceive of the           
completeness of the victory that the    
church achieved over philosophy4  ,for  
ages science was utterly ignored2       
thought was a poor slave2 an ignorant   
priest was master of the world2 faith   
put out the eyes of the soul2 the reason
 was a trembling coward2 the imagination
 was set on fire of hell2 every human   
feeling was sought to be suppressed2    
love was considered infinitely sinful2  
pleasure was the road to eternal fire1  
and ,god was supposed to be happy only  
when his children were miserable4  ,the 
world was governed by an ,almighty's    
whim2 prayers could change the order of 
things1 halt the grand procession of    
nature2 could produce rain1 avert       
pestilence1 famine1 and death in all its
 forms4  ,there was no idea of the      
certain2 all depended upon divine       
pleasure--or displeasure1 rather2 heaven
 was full of inconsistent malevolence1  
and earth of ignorance4  ,everything was

 done to appease the divine wrath2 every
 public calamity was caused by the sins 
of the people2 by a failure to pay      
tithes1 or for having1 even in secret1  
felt a disrespect for a priest4  ,to the
 poor multitude the earth was a kind of 
enchanted forest1 full of demons ready  
to devour1 and theological serpents     
lurking1 with infinite power1 to        
fascinate and torture the unhappy and   
impotent soul4  ,life to them was a dim 
and mysterious labyrinth1 in which they 
wandered weary1 and lost1 guided by     
priests as bewildered as themselves1    
without knowing that at every step the  
,ariadne of reason offered them the long
 lost clue4  ,the very heavens were full
 of death2 the lightning was regarded as
 the glittering vengeance of ,god1 and  
the earth was thick with snares for the 
unwary feet of man4  ,the soul was      
supposed to be crowded with the wild    
beasts of desire2 the heart to be       
totally corrupt1 prompting only to      
crime2 virtues were regarded as deadly  

sins in disguise2 there was a continual 
warfare being waged between the ,deity  
and the devil for the possession of     
every soul1 the latter generally being  
considered victorious4  ,the flood1 the 
tornado1 the volcano1 were all evidences
 of the displeasure of heaven and the   
sinfulness of man4  ,the blight that    
withered1 the frost that blackened1 the 
earthquake that devoured1 were the      
messengers of the creator4  ,the world  
was governed by fear4  ,against all the 
evils of nature there was known only the
 defense of prayer1 of fasting1 of      
credulity1 and devotion4  ,man1 in his  
helplessness1 endeavored to soften the  
heart of ,god4  ,the faces of the       
multitude were blanched with fear1 and  
wet with tears2 they were the prey of   
hypocrites1 kings and priests4  ,my     
heart bleeds when ,i contemplate the    
sufferings endured by the millions now  
dead2 of those who lived when the world 
appeared to be insane2 when the heavens 
were filled with an infinite ,,horror1  

who snatched babes1 with dimpled hands  
and rosy cheeks1 from the white breasts 
of mothers and dashed them into an abyss
 of eternal flame4  ,slowly1            
beautifully1 like the coming of the     
dawn1 came the grand truth that the     
universe is governed by law--that       
disease fastens itself upon the good and
 upon the bad2 that the tornado cannot  
be stopped by counting beads2 that the  
rushing lava pauses not for bended      
knees1 the lightning for clasped and    
uplifted hands1 nor the cruel waves of  
the sea for prayer2 that paying tithes  
causes rather than prevents famine2 that
 pleasure is not sin2 that happiness is 
the only good2 that demons and gods     
exist only in the imagination2 that     
faith is a lullaby1 sung to put the soul
 to sleep2 that devotion is a bribe that
 fear offers to supposed power2 that    
offering rewards in another world for   
obedience in this1 is simply buying a   
soul on credit2 that knowledge consists 
in ascertaining the laws of nature1 and 

that wisdom is the science of happiness4
  ,slowly1 grandly1 beautifully1 these  
truths are dawning upon mankind4  ,from 
,copernicus we learned that this earth  
is only a grain of sand on the infinite 
shore of the universe2 that everywhere  
we are surrounded by shining worlds     
vastly greater than our own1 all moving 
and existing in accordance with law4    
,true1 the earth began to grow small1   
but man began to grow great4  ,the      
moment the fact was established that    
other worlds are governed by law1 it was
 only natural to conclude that our      
little world was also under its         
dominion4  ,the old theological method  
of accounting for physical phenomena by 
the pleasure and displeasure of the     
,deity was1 by the intellectual1        
abandoned4  ,they found3 that disease1  
death1 life1 thought1 heat1 cold1 the   
seasons1 the winds1 the dreams of man1  
the instinct of animals--in short1 that 
all physical and mental phenomena are   
governed by law1 absolute1 eternal and  

inexorable4  ,let it be understood by   
the term ,law is meant the same         
invariable relations of succession and  
resemblance predicated of all facts     
springing from like conditions4  ,law is
 a fact--not a cause4  ,it is a fact    
that like conditions produce like       
results2 this fact is ,,law4  ,when we  
say that the universe is governed by    
law1 we mean that this fact1 called law1
 is incapable of change2 that it is1 has
 been1 and forever will be1 the same    
inexorable1  immutable ,,fact1          
inseparable from all phenomena4  ,law1  
in this sense1 was not enacted or made4 
,it could not have been otherwise than  
as it is4  ,that which necessarily      
exists has no creator4  ,only a few     
years ago this earth was considered the 
real center of the universe2 all the    
stars were supposed to revolve around   
this insignificant atom4  ,the ,german  
mind1 more than any other1 has done away
 with this piece of egotism4  ,purbach  
and ,mullerus1 in the fifteenth century1

 contributed most to the advancement of 
astronomy in their day4 ,to the latter  
the world is indebted for the           
introduction of decimal fractions1 which
 completed our arithmetical notation1   
and formed the second of the three steps
 by which1 in modern times1 the science 
of numbers has been so greatly improved2
 and yet both of these men believed in  
the most childish absurdities--at least 
in enough of them to die without their  
orthodoxy having ever been questioned4  
,next came the great ,copernicus1 and he
 stands at the head of the heroic       
thinkers of his time1 who had the       
courage and the mental strength to break
 the chains of prejudice1 custom and    
authority1 and to establish truth on the
 basis of experience1 observation and   
reason4  ,he removed the earth1 so to   
speak1 from the center of the universe1 
and ascribed to it a twofold motion1 and
 demonstrated the true position which it
 occupies in the solar system4  ,at his 
bidding the earth began to revolve4  ,at

 the command of his genius it commenced 
its grand flight amid the eternal       
constellations around the sun4  ,for    
fifty years his discoveries were        
disregarded4 ,all at once1 by the       
exertions of ,galileo1 they were kindled
 into so grand a conflagration as to    
consume the philosophy of ,aristotle1 to
 alarm the hierarchy of ,rome1 and to   
threaten the existence of every opinion 
not founded upon experience1 observation
 and reason4  ,the earth was no longer  
considered a universe governed by the   
caprices of some revengeful ,deity1 who 
had made the stars out of what he had   
left after completing the world1 and had
 stuck them in the sky simply to adorn  
the night4  ,i have said this much      
concerning astronomy because it was the 
first splendid step forward6  ,the first
 sublime blow that shattered the lance  
and shivered the shield of superstition2
 the first real help that man received  
from heaven4  ,because it was the first 
great lever placed beneath the altar of 

a false religion2 the first revelation  
of the infinite to man1 the first       
authoritative declaration that the      
universe is governed by law2 the first  
science that gave the lie direct to the 
cosmogony of barbarism2 and because it  
is the sublimest victory that reason has
 achieved4  ,in speaking of astronomy ,i
 have confined myself to the discoveries
 made since the revival of learning4    
,long ago1 on the banks of the ,ganges1 
ages before ,copernicus lived1          
,aryabhatta taught that the earth is a  
sphere and revolves on its own axis4    
,this1 however1 does not detract from   
the glory of the great ,german4  ,the   
discovery of the ,hindoo had been lost  
in the midnight of ,europe--in the age  
of faith--and ,copernicus was as much a 
discoverer as though ,aryabhatta had    
never lived4  ,in this short address    
there is no time to speak of other      
sciences1 and to point out the          
particular evidence furnished by each to
 establish the dominion of law1 nor to  

more than mention the name of           
,descartes1 the first who undertook to  
give an explanation of the celestial    
motions1 or who formed the vast and     
philosophic conception of reducing all  
the phenomena of the universe to the    
same law2 of ,montaigne1 one of the     
heroes of common sense2 of ,galvani1    
whose experiments gave the telegraph to 
the world2 of ,voltaire1 who contributed
 more than any other of the sons of men 
to the destruction of religious         
intolerance2 of ,august ,comte1 whose   
genius erected to itself a monument that
 still touches the stars2 of            
,guttenberg1 ,watt1 ,stephenson1        
,arkwright1 all soldiers of science in  
the grand army of the dead kings4  ,the 
glory of science is that it is freeing  
the soul-breaking the mental            
manacles--getting the brain out of      
bondage--giving courage to              
thought--filling the world with mercy1  
justice and joy4  ,science found        
agriculture plowing with a              

stick--reaping with a sickle--commerce  
at the mercy of the treacherous waves   
and the inconstant winds--a world       
without books--without schools--man     
denying the authority of reason1        
employing his ingenuity in the          
manufacture of instruments of           
torture--in building inquisitions and   
cathedrals4  ,it found the land filled  
with malicious monks--with persecuting  
,protestants1 and the burners of men4   
,it found a world full of fear1         
ignorance upon its knees2 credulity the 
greatest virtue2 women treated like     
beasts1 of burden2 cruelty the only     
means of reformation4  ,it found the    
world at the mercy of disease and       
famine2 men trying to read their fates  
in the stars1 and to tell their fortunes
 by signs and wonders2 generals thinking
 to conquer their enemies by making the 
sign of the cross1 or by telling a      
rosary4  ,it found all history full of  
petty and ridiculous falsehood1 and the 
,almighty was supposed to spend most of 

his time turning sticks into snakes1    
drowning boys for swimming on ,sunday1  
and killing little children for the     
purpose of converting their parents4    
,it found the earth filled with slaves  
and tyrants1 the people in all countries
 downtrodden1 half naked1 half starved1 
without hope1 and without reason in the 
world4  ,such was the condition of man  
when the morning of science dawned upon 
his brain1 and before he had heard the  
sublime declaration that the universe is
 governed by law4  ,for the change that 
has taken place we are indebted solely  
to science--the only lever capable of   
raising mankind4  ,abject faith is      
barbarism2 reason is civilization4  ,to 
obey is slavish2 to act from a sense of 
obligation perceived by the reason is   
noble4 ,ignorance worships mystery2     
reason explains it--the one grovels1 the
 other soars4  ,no wonder that fable is 
the enemy of knowledge4  ,a man with a  
false diamond shuns the society of      
lapidaries1 and it is upon this         

principle that superstition abhors      
science4  ,in all ages the people have  
honored those who dishonored them4 ,the 
have worshiped their destroyers--they   
have canonized the most gigantic liars1 
and buried the great thieves in marble  
and gold4 ,under the loftiest monuments 
sleeps the dust of murder4  ,imposture  
has always worn a crown4  ,the world is 
beginning to change because the people  
are beginning to think4  ,to think is to
 advance4  ,everywhere the great minds  
are investigating the creeds and the    
superstitions of men--the phenomena of  
nature1 and the laws of things4  ,at the
 head of this great army of             
investigators stood ,humboldt--the      
serene leader of an intellectual host--a
 king by the suffrage of science1 and   
the divine right of genius4  ,and today 
we are not honoring some butcher called 
a soldier--some wily politician called a
 statesman--some robber called a        
king--nor some malicious metaphysician  
called a saint4  ,we are honoring the   

grand ,humboldt1 whose victories were   
all achieved in the arena of thought2   
who destroyed prejudice1 ignorance and  
error--not men3 who shed light--not     
blood1 and who contributed to the       
knowledge1 the wealth and the happiness 
of all mankind4  ,his life was pure1 his
 aims lofty1 his learning varied and    
profound1 and his achievements vast4    
,we honor him because he has ennobled   
our race1 because he has contributed as 
much as any man living or dead to the   
real prosperity of the world4  ,we honor
 him because he honored us--because he  
labored for others--because he was the  
most learned man of the most learned    
nation--because he left a legacy of     
glory to every human being4  ,for these 
reasons he is honored throughout the    
world4  ,millions are doing homage to   
his genius at this moment1 and millions 
are pronouncing his name with reverence1
 and recounting what he accomplished4   
,we associate the name of ,humboldt with
 oceans1 continents mountains and       

volcanoes--with the great plains--the   
wide deserts--the snow-lipped craters of
 the ,andes--with primeval forests and  
,european capitals--with wildernesses   
and universities--with savages and      
savants--with the lonely rivers of      
unpeopled wastes--with peaks and pampas1
 and steppes1 and cliffs and crags--with
 the progress of the world--with every  
science known to man1 and with every    
star glittering in the immensity of     
space4  ,humboldt adopted none of the   
soul-shrinking creeds of his day2 wasted
 none of his time in the stupidities1   
inanities and contradictions of         
theological metaphysics2 he did not     
endeavor to harmonize the astronomy and 
geology of a barbarous people with the  
science of the nineteenth century4      
,never1 for one moment1 did he abandon  
the sublime standard of truth2 he       
investigated1 he studied1 he thought1 he
 separated the gold from the dross in   
the crucible of his grand brain4  ,he   
was never found on his knees before the 

altar of superstition4  ,he stood erect 
by the grand1 tranquil column of reason4
 ,he was an admirer1 a lover1 an adorer 
of nature1 and at the age of ninety1    
bowed by the weight of nearly a century1
 covered with the insignia of honor1    
loved by a nation1 respected by a world1
 with kings for his servants1 he laid   
his weary head upon her bosom--upon the 
bosom of the universal mother--and with 
her loving arms around him1 sank into   
that slumber called death4  ,history    
added another name to the starry scroll 
of the immortals4  ,the world is his    
monument2 upon the eternal granite of   
her hills he inscribed his name1 and    
there1 upon everlasting stone1 his      
genius wrote this1 the sublimest of     
truths3  ,,the ,,universe ,,is          
,,governed ,,by ,,law6                  
,,ingersoll',s ,,lecture ,,on ,,which   
,,way8    ,ladies and ,gentlemen3 ,for  
thousands of years men have been asking 
the questions3 ,how shall we civilize   
the world8  ,how shall we protect life1 

liberty1 property and reputations8  ,how
 shall we do away with crime and        
poverty8  ,how clothe1 and feed1 and    
educate1 and civilize mankind8  ,these  
are the questions that are asked by     
thoughtful men and thoughtful women4    
,the question with them is not1 ,what   
will we do in some other world8  ,time  
enough to ask that when we get there4   
,the business we will attend to now is1 
how are1 we to civilize the world8 ,what
 priest shall ,i ask8  ,what sacred     
volume shall ,i search8  ,what oracle   
can ,i consult8  ,at what shrine must ,i
 bow to find out what is to be done8    
,each church has a different answer2    
each has a different recipe for the     
salvation of the people1 but not while  
they are in this world4  ,all that is to
 be done in this world is to get ready  
for the next4  ,in the first place ,i am
 met by the theological world4  ,have ,i
 the right to inquire8  ,they say1      
,certainly2 it is your duty to inquire4 
,each church has a recipe for the       

salvation of this world1 but not while  
you are in this world--afterward4  ,they
 treat time as a kind of pier--a kind of
 wharf running out into the great ocean 
of eternity2 and they treat us all as   
though we were waiting there1 sitting on
 our trunks1 for the gospel ship4  ,i   
want to know what to do here4  ,have ,i 
the right to inquire8  ,yes4 ,if ,i have
 the right to inquire1 then ,i have the 
right to investigate4 ,if ,i have the   
right to investigate1 ,i have the right 
to accept4 ,if ,i have the right to     
accept1 ,i have the right to reject4    
,and what religion have ,i the right to 
reject8  ,that which does not conform   
with my reason1 with my standard of     
truth1 with my standard of common sense4
 ,millions of men have been endeavoring 
to govern this world by means of the    
supernatural4 ,thousands and thousands  
of churches exist1 thousands of         
cathedrals and temples have been built1 
millions of men have been engaged to    
preach this gospel2 and what has been   

the result in this world8  ,will one    
church have any sympathy with another8  
,does the religion of one country have  
any respect for that of another8  ,or   
does not each religion claim to be the  
only one8  ,and does not the priest of  
every religion1 with infinite impudence1
 consign the disciples of all others to 
eternal fire8  ,why is it the churches  
have failed to civilize this world8     
,why is it that the ,christian countries
 are no better than any other countries8
 ,why is it that ,christian men are no  
better than any other men8  ,why is it  
that ministers as a class are no better 
than doctors1 or lawyers1 or merchants1 
or mechanics1 or locomotive engineers8  
,and a locomotive engineer is a thousand
 times more useful4  ,give me a good    
engineer and a bad preacher to go       
through this world with rather than a   
bad engineer and a good preacher2 and   
there is this curious fact about the    
believers in the supernatural3 ,the     
priests of one church have no confidence

 in the miracles and wonders told by the
 priests of the other churches4 ,maybe  
they know each other4  ,a ,christian    
missionary will tell the ,hindoo of the 
miracles of the bible2 the ,hindoo      
smiles4  ,the ,hindoo tells the         
,christian missionary of the miracles of
 his sacred books2 and the missionary   
looks upon him with pity and contempt4  
,no priest takes the word of another4   
,i heard once a little story that       
illustrates this point3 ,a gentleman in 
a little party was telling of a most    
wonderful occurrence1 and when he had   
finished everybody said3 ,is it         
possible8  ,why1 did you ever hear      
anything like that8  ,all united in a   
kind of wondering chorus except one man4
  ,he said nothing4  ,he was perfectly  
still and unmoved2 and one who had been 
greatly astonished by the story said to 
him3 ,did you hear that story8  ,yes4   
,well1 you don't appear to be excited4  
,well no1 he said2 ,i am a liar myself4 
,there is another trouble with the      

supernatural4  ,it has no honesty2 it is
 consumed by egotism2 it does not       
think--it knows2 consequently it has no 
patience with the honest doubter4  ,and 
how has the church treated the honest   
doubter8  ,he has been answered by      
force1 by authority1 by popes1 by       
cardinals and bishops1 and councils1    
and1 above all1 by mobs4 ,in that way   
the honest doubter has been answered4   
,there is this difference between the   
minister1 the church1 the clergy1 and   
the men who believe in this world4  ,i  
might as well state the question--,i may
 go further than you4  ,the real        
question is this3 ,are we to be governed
 by a supernatural being1 or are we to  
govern ourselves8 ,that is the question4
  ,is ,god the source of power1 or does 
all authority spring1 in governing1 from
 the consent of the governed8  ,that is 
the question4  ,in other words1 is the  
universe a monarchy1 a despotism1 or a  
democracy8  ,i take the democratic side1
 not in a political sense4  ,the        

question is1 whether this world should  
be governed by ,god or by man2 and when 
,i say ,god ,i mean the being that these
 gentlemen have treated and enthroned   
upon the ignorance of mankind4  ,now let
 us admit1 for the sake of argument1    
that the bible is true4 ,let us admit1  
for the sake of argument1 that ,god once
 governed this world--not that ,he did1 
but let us admit it1 and ,i intend to   
speak of no god but our ,god1 because we
 all insist that of all the gods ours is
 the best1 and if ,he is not good we    
need not trouble ourselves about the    
others4  ,let them take care of         
themselves4  ,now1 the first question   
is1 whether this world shall be governed
 by ,god or man4  ,admitting that the   
being spoken of in the bible is ,god1   
,he governed this world once4  ,there   
was a theocracy at the start4  ,that was
 the first government of the world4     
,now1 how do you judge of a man8 ,the   
best test of a man is1 how does he use  
power8  ,that is the supreme test of    

manhood4  ,how does he treat those      
within his control8  ,the greater the   
man1 the grander the man1 the more      
careful he is in the use of power--the  
tenderer he is1 the nearer just1 the    
greater1 the more merciful1 the grander1
 the more charitable4  ,tell me how a   
man treats his wife or his children1 his
 poor debtors1 his servants1 and ,i will
 tell you what manner of a man he be4   
,that1 ,i say1 is the supreme test1 and 
we know tonight how a good and great man
 treats his inferiors4  ,we know that4  
,and a man endeavoring to raise his     
fellow-men higher in the scale of       
civilization--what will that man appeal 
to8  ,will he appeal to the lowest or to
 the highest that is in man8  ,let us be
 honest4  ,will he appeal to            
prejudice--the fortress1 the armor1 the 
sword and shield of ignorance8 ,will he 
appeal to credulity--the ring in the    
nose by which priests lead stupidity8   
,will he appeal to the cowardly man8    
,will he play upon his fears--fear1 the 

capital stock of imposture1 the lever   
and fulcrum of hypocrisy8  ,will he     
appeal to the selfishness and all the   
slimy serpents that crawl in the den of 
savagery8  ,or will he appeal to reason1
 the torch of the mind8  ,will he appeal
 to justice8 ,will he appeal to charity1
 which is justice in blossom8  ,will he 
appeal to liberty and love8 ,these are  
the questions4  ,what will he do8  ,what
 did our ,god do8 ,let us see4  ,the    
first thing we know of ,him is in the   
,garden of ,eden4 ,how did ,he endeavor 
to make ,his children great1 and strong1
 and good1 and free8  ,did ,he say      
anything to ,adam and ,eve about the    
sacred relation of marriage8  ,did ,he  
say anything to them about loving       
children8  ,did ,he say anything to them
 about learning anything under heaven8  
,did ,he say one word about intellectual
 liberty8  ,did he say one word about   
reason or about justice8  ,did ,he make 
the slightest effort to improve them8   
,all that ,he did in the world was to   

give them one poor little miserable1    
barren command1  ,thou shalt not eat of 
a certain fruit4  ,that's all that      
amounted to anything2 and1 when they    
sinned1 did this great ,god take them in
 the arms of ,his love and endeavor to  
reform them8  ,no2 ,he simply put upon  
them a curse4  ,when they were expelled 
,he said to the woman3 ,i will greatly  
multiply thy sorrow4  ,in sorrow shalt  
thou bring forth children4  ,thy husband
 shall rule over thee4  ,god made every 
mother a criminal1 and placed a         
perpetual penalty of pain upon human    
love4 ,our ,god made wives              
slaves--slaves of their husbands4  ,our 
,god corrupted the marriage relation and
 paralyzed the firesides of this world4 
,that is what our ,god did4  ,and what  
did ,he say to poor ,adam8 ,cursed be   
the ground for thy sake2 in sorrow shalt
 thou eat of it all the days of thy     
life2 thorns and thistles shall it bring
 forth to thee2 and thou shalt eat the  
herb of the field1 and in the sweat of  

thy face shalt thou eat bread4  ,did ,he
 say one word calculated to make him a  
better man8  ,did ,he put in the horizon
 of the future one star of hope8  ,let  
us be honest1 and see what this ,god    
did1 and we will judge of ,him simply by
 ordinary common sense4  ,after a while 
,cain murdered his brother1 and he was  
detected by this ,god4  ,and what did   
this ,god say to him8  ,did ,he say one 
word of the crime of shedding human     
blood8  ,not a word4  ,did ,he say one  
word calculated to excite in the breast 
of ,cain the slightest real sorrow for  
his deed8  ,not the slightest4  ,did ,he
 tell him anything about where ,abel    
was8  ,nothing4  ,did ,he endeavor to   
make him a better man8  ,not a bit4     
,what had ,he ever taught him before on 
that subject8  ,nothing4  ,and so ,cain 
went out to the other sons and daughters
 of ,adam1 according to the bible1 and  
they multiplied and increased until they
 covered the earth4 ,god gave them no   
code of laws4  ,god never built them a  

schoolhouse4  ,god never sent a teacher4
 ,god never said a word to them about a 
future state4  ,god never held up before
 their gaze that dazzling reward of     
heaven2 never spoke about the lurid     
gulfs of hell2 kept divine punishment a 
perfect secret1 and without having given
 them the slightest opportunity1 simply 
drowned the world4  ,splendid           
administration6 ,cleveland will do      
better than that4  ,and1 after the      
waters had gone away1 then ,he gave them
 some commandments4  ,i suppose that ,he
 saw by that time that they needed      
guidance4  ,and here are the            
commandments3  #a4 ,you may eat all     
kinds of birds1 beasts and fishes4  #b4 
,you must not eat blood2 if you do1 ,i  
will kill you4  #c4 ,whosoever sheddeth 
man's blood1 by man shall his blood be  
shed4  ,nothing more4  ,no good advice2 
not a word about government2 not a word 
about the rights of man or woman1 or    
children2 not a word about any law of   
nature2 not a word about any            

science--nothing1 not even arithmetic4  
,nothing4  ,and so ,he let them go on1  
and in a little while they came to the  
same old state2 and began building the  
,tower of ,babel2 and he went there and 
confounded1 as they said1 their         
languages4  ,never said a word to them2 
never told them how foolish it was to   
try and reach heaven that way4  ,and the
 next we find ,him talking to ,abraham1 
and with ,abraham ,he makes a contract4 
,and how did ,he do it8  ,i will bless  
them that bless thee1 and curse them    
that curse thee4  ,fine contract for a  
,god4 ,and thereupon ,he made certain   
promises to ,abraham--promised to give  
him the whole world1 all the nations    
round about1 and that his seed should be
 as the sands of the sea4  ,never kept  
one of ,his promises--not one4 ,he made 
the same promises to ,isaac1 and broke  
every one4  ,then ,he made them all over
 to ,jacob1 and broke every one2 made   
them again to ,moses1 and broke them    
all4  ,never said a word about anybody  

behaving themselves--not a word4        
,finally1 these people whom ,he had     
taken under ,his special care became    
slaves in the land of ,egypt4 ,how      
ashamed ,god must have been6  ,finally  
,he made up ,his mind to rescue them    
from that servitude1 and ,he sent ,moses
 and ,aaron4  ,he never said a word to  
,moses or ,aaron that ,pharaoh was      
wrong4  ,he never said a word to them   
about how the women felt when their male
 children were taken and destroyed4  ,he
 simply sent ,moses before ,pharaoh with
 a cane in his hand that he could turn  
into a serpent2 and1 when ,pharaoh      
called in magicians and they did the    
same1 ,pharaoh laughed4  ,and then they 
made frogs2 and ,pharaoh sent for his   
magicians1 and they did the same1 and   
,pharaoh still laughed4 ,and this ,god  
had infinite power1 but ,pharaoh        
defeated ,him at every point6  ,it puts 
me in mind of the story that great      
,fenian told when the great excitement  
was about ,ireland4  ,an ,irishman was  

telling about the condition of ,ireland4
  ,he said3 ,we have got in ,ireland now
 over #cjj1jjj soldiers1 all equipped4  
,every man of them has got a musket and 
ammunition4  ,they are ready to march at
 a minute's notice4 ,but1 said the other
 man1 why don't they march8  ,why1 said 
the other man1 the police won't let     
them4  ,how admirable6  ,imagine the    
infinite ,god endeavoring to liberate   
the ,hebrews1 and prevented by a king1  
who would not let the children of       
,israel go until he had done some little
 miracles with sticks6  ,think of it6   
,but1 said ,christians1 you must wait a 
little while if you wish to find the    
foundation of law4  ,christians now     
assert that from ,sinai came to this    
world all knowledge of right and wrong1 
and that from its flaming top we        
received the first ideas of law and     
justice4  ,let us look at those ten     
commandments4 ,which of those ten       
commandments were new1 and which of     
those ten commandments were old8  ,thou 

shalt not kill4 ,that was as old as     
life4 ,murder has been a crime2 also1   
because men object to being murdered4   
,if you read the same bible you will    
find that ,moses1 seeing an ,israelite  
and an ,egyptian contending together1   
smote the ,egyptian and hid his body in 
the sand4  ,after he had committed that 
crime ,moses fled from the land4  ,why8 
,simply because there was a law against 
murder4 ,that is all4  ,honor thy father
 and thy mother4  ,that is as old as    
birth4  ,thou shalt not commit adultery4
  ,that is as old as sex4 ,thou shalt   
not steal4 ,that is as old as work1 and 
as old as property4 ,thou shalt not bear
 false witness against thy neighbor4    
,that is as old as the earth4  ,never   
was there a nation1 never was there a   
tribe on the earth that did not have    
substantially1 those commandments4      
,what1 then1 were new8  ,first1 ,thou   
shalt worship no other ,god2 thou shalt 
have no other ,god4  ,why8 ,because ,i  
am a jealous ,god4 ,second1  ,thou shalt

 not make any graven image4  ,third1    
,thou shalt not take ,my name in vain4  
,fourth1 ,thou shalt not work on the    
,sabbath day4  ,what use were these     
commandments8 ,none--not the slightest4 
,how much better it would have been if  
,god from ,sinai1 instead of the        
commandments1 had said3 ,thou shalt not 
enslave thy fellow-man2 no human being  
is entitled to the results of another's 
labor4  ,suppose ,he had said3 ,thou    
shalt not persecute for opinion's sake2 
thought and speech must be forever free4
  ,suppose ,he had said1 instead of     
,thou shalt not work on the ,sabbath    
day1  ,a man shall have but one wife2 a 
woman shall have but one husband2       
husbands shall love their wives2 wives  
shall love their husbands and their     
children with all their hearts and as   
themselves--how much better it would    
have been for this world4  ,long before 
,moses was born the ,egyptians taught   
one ,god2 but afterwards1 ,i believe1 in
 their weakness1 they degenerated into a

 belief in the ,trinity4  ,they taught  
the divine origin of the soul1 and      
taught judgment after death4  ,they     
taught as a reward for belief in their  
doctrine eternal joy1 and as a          
punishment for non-belief eternal pain4 
,egypt1 as a matter of fact1 was far    
better governed than ,palestine4  ,the  
laws of ,egypt were better than the laws
 of ,god4 ,in ,egypt woman was equal    
with man4  ,long before ,moses was born 
there were queens upon the ,egyptian    
throne4  ,long before ,moses was born   
they had a written code of laws1 and    
their laws were administered by courts  
and judges4  ,they had rules of         
evidence4  ,they understood the         
philosophy of damages4  ,long before    
,moses was born they had asylums for the
 insane and hospitals for the sick4     
,long before ,god appeared on ,sinai    
there were schools in ,egypt1 and the   
highest office next to the throne was   
opened to the successful scholar4 ,the  
,egyptian married but one wife4 ,his    

wife was called the lady of the house4  
,women were not secluded2 and1 above all
 and over all1 the people of ,egypt were
 not divided into castes1 and were      
infinitely better governed than ,god    
ever thought of4 ,i am speaking of the  
,god of this bible4  ,if ,moses had     
remembered more of what he saw in ,egypt
 his government would have been far     
better than it was4 ,long before these  
commandments were given1 ,zoroaster     
taught the ,hindoos that there was one  
infinite and supreme ,god4  ,they had a 
code of laws1 and their laws were       
administered by judges in their courts4 
,by those laws1 at the death of a       
father1 the unmarried daughter received 
twice as much of his property as his    
son4  ,compare those laws with the laws 
of ,moses4  ,so1 too1 the ,romans had   
their code of laws4  ,the ,romans were  
the greatest lawyers the world produced4
  ,the ,romans had a code of civil laws1
 and that code today is the foundation  
of all law in the civilized world4  ,the

 ,romans built temples to ,truth1 to    
,faith1 to ,valor1 to ,concord1 to      
,modesty1 to ,charity and to ,chastity4 
,and so with the ,grecians4  ,and yet   
you will find ,christian ministers today
 contending that all ideas of law1 of   
justice and of right came from ,sinai1  
from the ten commandments1 from the     
,mosaic laws4  ,no lawyer who           
understands his profession will claim   
that is so4  ,no lawyer who has studied 
the history of law will claim it4  ,no  
man who knows history itself will claim 
it4 ,no man will claim it but an        
ignorant zealot4  ,let us go another    
step--let us compare the ideas of this  
,god with the ideas of uninspired men4  
,i am making this long preface because  
,i want to get it out of your minds that
 the bible is inspired4  ,now let us go 
along a little and see what is ,god's   
opinion of liberty4 ,nothing is of more 
value in this world today than          
liberty--liberty of body and liberty of 
mind4  ,without liberty1 the universe   

would be as a dungeon into which human  
beings are flung like poor and miserable
 convicts4  ,intellectual liberty is the
 air of the soul1 the sunshine of the   
mind4  ,without it we should be in      
darkness4 ,now1 ,jehovah commanded the  
,jewish people to take captives the     
strangers and sojourners amongst them1  
and ordered that they and their children
 should be bondsmen and bondswomen for  
ever4  ,now let us compare ,jehovah to  
,epictetus--a man to whom no revelation 
was ever made--a man to whom this ,god  
did not appear4  ,let us listen to him3 
,remember your servants are to be       
treated as your own brothers--children  
of the same ,god4  ,on the subject of   
liberty is not ,epictetus a better      
authority than ,jehovah1 who told the   
,jews to make bondsmen and bondswomen of
 the heathen round about8  ,and ,he said
 they were to make them their bondsmen  
and bondswomen forever4 ,why8  ,because 
they were heathen4  ,why8  ,because they
 were not children of the ,jews4 ,he was

 the ,god of the ,jews and not of the   
rest of mankind4  ,so ,he said to ,his  
chosen people3 ,pillage upon the enemy  
and destroy the people of other gods4   
,buy the heathen round about4  ,yet     
,cicero1 a poor pagan lawyer1 said      
this--and he had not even read the old  
testament--had not even had the         
advantage of being enlightened by the   
prophets3 ,they who say that we should  
love our fellow-citizens1 and not       
foreigners1 destroy the universal       
brotherhood of mankind1 and with it     
benevolence and justice would perish    
forever4  ,is not ,cicero greater than  
,jehovah8 ,the bible1 inspired by       
,jehovah1 says3 ,if a man smite his     
servant with a rod and he die under his 
hand he shall be punished4  ,it he      
continue a day or two and then die1 he  
shall not be punished4  ,zeno1 the      
founder of the stoics1 who had never    
heard of ,jehovah1 and never read a word
 of ,moses1 said this3 ,no man can be   
the owner of another1 and the title is  

bad4 ,whether the slave became a slave  
by conquest or by purchase1 the title is
 bad4  ,let us come and see whether     
,jehovah has any humanity in ,him4      
,jehovah ordered the ,jewish general to 
make war1 and this was the order3 ,and  
when the ,lord thy ,god shall deliver   
them before thee1 thou shalt smite them 
and utterly destroy them2 thou shalt    
make no covenant with them1 nor show    
mercy unto them4  ,and yet ,epictetus1  
whom ,i have already quoted1 said3      
,treat those in thy power as thou       
wouldst have thy superiors treat thee4  
,i am on the side of the pagan4  ,is it 
possible that a being of infinite       
goodness said3 ,i will heap mischief    
upon them2 ,i will send ,my arrows upon 
them4  ,they shall be burned with       
hunger2 they shall be devoured with     
burning heat and with bitter            
destruction4 ,i will also send the teeth
 of locusts upon them1 with the         
poisonous serpent of the desert4 ,the   
sound without and the terror within1    

shall destroy both the young men and the
 virgins1 the sucklings also1 and the   
men with gray hairs4 ,while ,seneca1 a  
poor uninspired ,roman1 said3 ,a wise   
man will not pardon any crime that ought
 to be punished1 but will accomplish in 
other way all that is sought4  ,he will 
spare some2 he will pardon and watch    
over some because of their youth2 he    
will pardon these on account of their   
ignorance4 ,his clemency will not fail  
what is sought by justice1 but his      
clemency will fulfill justice4  ,that   
was said by ,seneca4  ,can we believe   
that this ,jehovah said3 ,let his       
children be fatherless and his wife a   
widow4  ,let his children be continually
 vagabonds1 and beg4 ,let them seek     
their bread out of desolate places4 ,let
 the extortioner catch all that he hath1
 and let the stranger spoil his labor4  
,let no one extend mercy unto them1     
neither let any favor his fatherless    
children4  ,did ,jehovah say this8      
,surely ,he had never heard this        

line--this plaintive music from the     
,hindoo3 ,sweet is the lute to those who
 have not heard the voices of their own 
children4 ,let us see the generosity of 
,jehovah out of the cloud of darkness on
 ,mount ,sinai4  ,he said to the ,jews3 
,thou shalt have no other ,god before   
,me4  ,thou shalt not bow down to any   
other gods1 for the ,lord thy ,god is a 
jealous ,god1 visiting the iniquities of
 the fathers upon the children to the   
third an fourth generation of them that 
hate ,me4  ,just think of ,god saying to
 people3 ,if you do not love ,me ,i will
 damn you4 ,contrast this with the words
 put by the ,hindoo poet into the mouth 
of ,brahma3 ,i am the same to all       
mankind4 ,the who honestly worship other
 gods involuntarily worship me4  ,i am  
he that partaketh of all worship4 ,i am 
the reward of worship4  ,how perfectly  
sublime6  ,let me read it to you again3 
,i am the same to all mankind4  ,they   
who honestly worship other gods         
involuntarily worship me4  ,i am he that

 partaketh of all worship4  ,i am the   
reward of worship4  ,compare these      
passages4 ,the first is a dungeon1 which
 crude hands have digged with jealous   
slime4 ,the other is like the dome of   
the firmament1 inlaid with              
constellations4  ,is it possible ,god   
ever said3 ,if a prophet deceive when he
 hath spoken a thing1 ,i1 the ,lord1    
hath deceived that prophet8 ,compare    
that passage with the poet1 a pagan3    
,better remain silent the remainder of  
life than speak falsely4  ,can we       
believe a being of infinite mercy gave  
this command3 ,put every man his sword  
by his side2 go from the gate throughout
 the camp1 and slay every man his       
brother1 every man his companion1 and   
every man his neighbor4  ,consecrate it1
 yourselves this day4  ,let every man   
lay his sword even upon his son1 upon   
his brother1 that he bestow blessing    
upon ,me this day4  ,surely that was not
 the outcome of a great1 magnanimous    
spirit1 like that of the ,roman emperor1

 who declared3 ,i had rather keep a     
single ,roman citizen alive than slay a 
thousand enemies4 ,compare the last     
command given to the children of ,israel
 with the words of ,marcus ,aurelius3 ,i
 have formed an ideal of the ,state1 in 
which there is the same law for all1 and
 equal rights and equal liberty of      
speech established for all--an ,empire  
where nothing is honored so much as the 
freedom of the citizens4  ,i am on the  
side of the ,roman emperor4  ,what is   
more beautiful than the old story from  
,sufi8  ,there was a man who for seven  
years did every act of good1 every kind 
of charity1 and at the end of the seven 
years he mounted the steps to the gate  
of heaven and knocked4  ,a voice cried1 
,who is there8 ,he cried1 ,thy servant1 
,o ,lord2 and the gates were shut4      
,seven other years he did every good    
work1 and again mounted the steps to    
heaven and knocked4 ,the voice cried1   
,who is there8  ,he answered1 ,thy      
slave1 ,o ,god2 and the gates were shut4

  ,seven other years he did every good  
deed1 and again mounted the steps to    
heaven1 and the voice said3 ,who is     
there8 ,he replied ,thyself1 ,o ,god2   
and the gates wide open flew4  ,is there
 anything in our religion so warm or so 
beautiful as that8  ,compare that story 
from a pagan with the ,presbyterian     
religion4  ,take this story of          
,endesthora1 who was a king of ,egypt1  
and started for the place where the     
horizon touched the earth1 where he was 
to meet ,god4 ,with him followed ,argune
 and ,bemis and ,traubation4  ,they were
 taught that1 when any man started after
 ,god in that way1 if he had been guilty
 of any crime he would fall by the way4 
,endesthora walked at the head and      
suddenly he missed ,argune4  ,he said1  
,he was not always merciful in the hour 
of victory4  ,a little while after he   
missed ,bemis1 and said1 ,he fought not 
so much for the rights of man as for his
 own glory4  ,a little farther on he    
missed ,traubation4 ,he said1 ,my ,god1 

,i know no reason for his failing to    
reach the place where the horizon       
touches the earth2 and the god ,ram     
appeared to him1 and opening the        
curtains of the sky1 said to him3       
,enter4 ,and ,endesthora said3 ,but     
where are my brethren8 ,where are       
,argune and ,beinis and ,traubation8    
,and the god said3 ,they sinned in their
 time1 and they are condemned to suffer 
below4  ,then said ,endestbora3 ,i do   
not wish to enter into your heaven      
without my friends4 ,if they are below1 
then ,i will join them4  ,but the god   
said3 ,they are here before you2 ,i     
simply said this to try your soul4      
,endesthora simply turned and said3 ,but
 what of my dog8 ,the god said1  ,thou  
knowest that if the shadow of a dog fall
 upon the sacrifice1 it is unclean4     
,how1 then1 can a dog enter heaven8 ,and
 ,endesthora replies3 ,i know that1 and 
,i know another thing2 that ingratitude 
is the blackest of crimes1 whether it be
 to man or beast4 ,that dog has been my 

faithful friend4  ,he has followed me   
and ,i will not desert even him4  ,and  
the god said3 ,let the dog follow4      
,compare that with the bible stories4   
,long before the advent of ,christ1     
,aristotle said3 ,we should conduct     
ourselves toward others as we would have
 them conduct themselves toward us4     
,seneca said3 ,do not to your neighbor  
what you would not have your neighbor do
 to you4  ,socrates said3 ,act toward   
others as you would have others act     
toward you4 ,forgive your enemies1      
render good for evil1 and kiss even the 
hand that is upraised to smite4         
,krishna said3 ,cease to do evil2 aim to
 do well2 love your enemies4  ,it is the
 law of love that virtue is the only    
thing that has strength4  ,poor1        
miserable pagans6  ,did you ever hear   
anything like this8  ,is it possible    
that one of the authors of the new      
testament was inspired when he said that
 man was not created for woman1 but     
woman for man8  ,epictetus said3 ,what  

is more delightful than to be so dear to
 your wife as to be on her account      
dearer even to yourself8  ,compare that 
with ,st4 ,paul3 ,but ,i would have you 
know that the head of every man is      
,christ1 and the head of the woman is   
the man1 and the head of ,christ is     
,god4 ,wives1 submit yourselves unto    
your husbands as unto the ,lord4 ,that  
was inspiration4 ,this was written by a 
poor1 despised heathen3 ,in whatever    
house the husband is contented with the 
wife and the wife with the husband1 in  
that house will fortune dwell4  ,in the 
house where the woman is not honored1   
let the curse be pronounced4 ,where the 
wife is honored1 there ,god is truly    
worshiped4  ,i wish ,jehovah had said   
something like that from ,sinai4  ,is   
there anything as beautiful as this in  
the new testament3 ,shall ,i tell you   
where nature is more blest and fair8    
,it is where those we love abide4       
,though the space be small1 it is ample 
as earth2 though it be a desert1 through

 it run the rivers of ,paradise4        
,compare these things with the curses   
pronounced in the old testament1 where  
you read of the heathen being given over
 to butchery and death1 and the women   
and babes to destruction2 and1 after you
 have read them1 read the chapters of   
horrors in the new testament1           
threatening eternal fire and flame2 and 
then read this1 the greatest thought    
uttered by the greatest of human beings3
  ,the quality of mercy is not strained4
 ,it droppeth as the gentle rain from   
heaven ,upon the place beneath4  ,it is 
twice blessed3 ,it blesseth him that    
gives and him that takes2 ',tis         
mightiest in the mighty2 ,it becomes the
 throned monarch better this his crown4 
,compare that with your doctrine of the 
new testament6  ,if ,jehovah was an     
infinite ,god and knew things from the  
beginning1 ,he knew that ,his bible     
would be a breast-work behind which     
tyranny and hypocrisy would crouch1 and 
knew ,his bible would be the            

auction-block on which the mother would 
stand while her babe was sold from her1 
because ,he knew ,his bible would be    
quoted by tyrants2 that it would be     
quoted in defense of robbers called     
kings1 and by hypocrites called priests4
  ,he knew that ,he had taught the      
,jewish people2 ,he knew that ,he had   
found them free and left them slaves2   
,he knew that ,he had broken every      
single promise made to them2 ,he knew   
that1 while other nations advanced in   
knowledge1 in art1 in science1 ,his     
chosen people were subjects still4 ,he  
promised them the world2 ,he gave them a
 desert4  ,he promised them liberty1 and
 made them slaves4  ,he promised them   
power2 ,he gave them exile1 and any one 
who reads the old testament is compelled
 to say that nothing could add to their 
misery4  ,let us be honest4  ,how do you
 account for this religion8  ,this      
world2 where did it come from8  ,you    
hear every minister say that man is a   
religious animal--that religion is      

natural4  ,while man is an ignorant     
animal man will be a theological animal1
 and no longer4 ,where did we get this  
religion8  ,the savage knew but little  
of nature1 but thought that everything  
happened in reference to him4 ,he       
thought his sins caused earthquakes1 and
 that his virtues made the sunshine4    
,nothing is so egotistical as ignorance4
  ,you know1 and so do ,i1 that if no   
human being existed1 the sun would      
shine1 and that tempests would now and  
then devastate the earth2 violets would 
spread their velvet bosoms to the sun1  
daisies would grow1 roses would fill the
 air with perfume1 and now and then     
volcanoes would illuminate the horizon  
with their lurid glare2 the grass would 
grow1 the waters would run1 and so far  
as nature is concerned1 everything would
 be as joyous as though the earth were  
filled with happy homes4  ,we know the  
barbarian savage thinks that all this   
was on his account4  ,he thinks that    
there dwelt two very powerful deities2  

that there was a good one1 because he   
knows good things happen to him2 and    
that there was a bad one1 because he    
knows bad things happen to him4  ,behind
 the evil influence he puts a devil1 and
 behind the good1 an intention of ,god2 
and then he imagines both these beings  
are in opposition1 and that1 between    
them1 they struggle for the possession  
of his ignorant soul4  ,he also thinks  
that the place where the good deity     
lives is heaven1 and that the place     
where the other deity keeps himself is a
 place of torture and punishment4 ,and  
about that time other barbarians have   
chosen too keep the ignorant ones in    
subjection by means of the doctrine of  
fear and punishment4  ,there is no      
reforming power in fear4  ,you can scare
 a man1 maybe1 so bad that he won't do a
 thing1 but you can't scare him so bad  
he won't want to do it4  ,there is no   
reforming power in punishment or brute  
force2 but our barbarians rather        
imagined that every being would punish  

in accordance with his power1 and his   
dignity1 and that ,god would subject    
them to torture in the same way as those
 who made ,him angry4 ,they knew the    
king would inflict torments upon one in 
his power1 and they supposed that ,god  
would inflict torture according to ,his 
power4 ,they knew the worst torture was 
a slow1 burning fire2 added to it the   
idea of eternity1 and hell was produced4
  ,that was their idea4  ,all meanness1 
revenge1 selfishness1 cruelty1 and      
hatred of which men here are capable    
burst into blossom and bore fruit in    
that one word1 ,hell4  ,in this way a   
,god of infinite wisdom experimented    
with man1 keeping him between an        
outstretched abyss beneath and a heaven 
above2 and in time the man came to      
believe that he could please ,god by    
having read a few sacred books1 could   
count beads1 could sprinkle water1 eat  
little square pieces of bread1 and that 
he could shut his eyes and say words to 
the clouds2 but the moment he left this 

world nothing remained except to damn   
him4  ,he was to be kept miserable one  
day in seven1 and he could slander and  
persecute other men all the other days  
in the week4  ,that was the chance that 
,god gave a man here1 but the moment he 
left this world that settled it4  ,he   
would go to eternal pain or else to     
eternal joy4  ,that was the way that the
 supernatural governed this             
world--through fear1 through terror1    
through eternity of punishment2 and that
 government1 ,i say tonight1 has failed4
  ,how has it been kept alive so long8  
,it was born in ignorance4  ,let me tell
 you1 whoever attacks a creed will be   
confronted with a list of great men who 
have believed in it4 ,probably their    
belief in that creed was the only       
weakness they had4 ,but he will be      
asked1 ,so you know more than all the   
great men who have taught and all the   
respectable men who have believed in    
that faith8 ,for the church is always   
going about to get a certificate from   

some governor1 or even perhaps members  
of the ,legislature1 and you are told1  
because so-and-so believed all these    
things1 and you have no more talents    
than they1 that you should believe the  
same thing4  ,but ,i contend1 as against
 this argument1 that you should not take
 the testimony of these men unless you  
are willing to take at the same time all
 their beliefs on other subjects4       
,then1 again1 they tell you that the    
rich people are all on their side1 and  
,i say so1 too4  ,the churches today    
seek the rich1 and poverty unwillingly  
seeks them4  ,light thrown from diamonds
 adorns the repentant here4 ,we are told
 that the rich1 the fortunate1 and the  
holders of place are ,christians now2   
and yet ministers grow eloquent over the
 poverty of ,christ1 who was born in a  
manger1 and say that the ,holy ,ghost   
passed the titled ladies of the world   
and selected the wife of a poor mechanic
 for the mother of ,god4 ,such is the   
difference between theory and practice4 

,the church condemns the men of         
,jerusalem who held positions and who   
held the pretensions of the ,savior in  
contempt4  ,they admit that ,he was so  
little known that they had to bribe a   
man to point ,him out to the soldiers4  
,they assert that ,he performed         
miracles2 yet ,he remained absolutely   
unknown1 hidden in the depth of         
obscurity4  ,no one knew ,him1 and one  
of ,his disciples had to be bribed to   
point ,him out4 ,surely ,he and ,his    
disciples could have met the arguments  
which were urged against their religion 
at that time4  ,so long as the church   
honored philosophers she kept her great 
men in the majority4  ,how is it now8   
,i say tonight that no man of genius in 
the world is in the orthodox pulpit1 so 
far as ,i know4 ,where are they8 ,where 
are the orthodox great men8  ,i         
challenge the ,christian church to      
produce a man like ,alexander ,humboldt4
  ,i challenge the world to produce a   
naturalist like ,haeckel4  ,i challenge 

the ,christian world to produce a man   
like ,darwin4  ,where in the ranks of   
orthodoxy are historians like ,draper   
and ,buckle8 ,where are the naturalists 
like ,tyndall1 philosophers like ,mills 
and ,spencer1 and women like ,george    
,eliot and ,harriet ,martineau8  ,you   
may get tired of the great-men argument2
 but the names of the great thinkers1   
and naturalists and scientists of our   
time cannot be matched by the           
supernatural world4  ,what is the next  
argument they will bring forward8  ,the 
father and mother argument4  ,you must  
not disgrace your parents4  ,how did    
,christ come to leave the religion of   
,his mother8  ,that argument proves too 
much4  ,there is one way every man can  
honor his mother--that is by finding out
 more than she knew4  ,there is one way 
a man can honor his father--by          
correcting the old man's errors4  ,most 
people imagine that the creed we have   
came from the brain and heart of        
,christ4  ,they have no idea how it was 

made4  ,they think it was all made at   
one time4  ,they don't understand that  
it was a slow growth4 ,they don't       
understand that theology is a science   
made up of mistakes1 prejudices and     
falsehoods4  ,let me tell you a few     
facts3 ,the ,emperor ,constantine1 who  
lifted the ,christian religion into     
power1 murdered his wife and his eldest 
son the very year that he convened the  
,council of ,nice to decide whether     
,jesus ,christ was man or ,god2 and that
 was not decided until the year of grace
 #cbe4  ,then ,theodosius called a      
council at ,constantinople in #cha1 and 
this council decided that the ,holy     
,ghost proceeded from the ,father4  ,you
 see1 there was a little doubt on that  
question before this was done4  ,then   
another council was called later to     
determine who the ,virgin ,mary really  
was1 and it was solemnly decided that   
she was the mother of ,christ4  ,in     
#dca1 and then in #dea1 a council was   
held in ,chalcedon1 by the ,emperor     

,marcian1 and that decided that ,christ 
had two natures--a human and a divine4  
,in #fhj another council was held at    
,constantinople2 and in #abgd at ,lyons1
 it was decided that the ,holy ,ghost   
proceeded not only from the ,father but 
from the ,son2 and when you take into   
consideration the fact that a belief in 
the ,trinity is absolutely essential to 
salvation1 you see how important it was 
that these doctrines should have been   
established in #abgd1 when millions of  
people had dropped into hell in the     
interim solely because they had         
forgotten that question4  ,at last we   
know how religions are made4  ,we know  
how miracles are manufactured4  ,we know
 the history of relics1 and bones1 and  
pieces of the true cross4  ,and at last 
we understand apostolic succession4  ,at
 last we have examined other religions1 
and we find them all the same1 and we   
are beginning to suspect that ours is   
like the rest4  ,i think we understand  
it4  ,i read a little story1 a short    

time ago1 from the ,japanese1 that      
throws light upon the question4  ,there 
was an old priest at a monastery4  ,this
 monastery was built over the bones of  
what he called a saint1 and people came 
there and were cured of many diseases4  
,this priest had an assistant4  ,after  
the assistant grew up and got quite to  
understand his business1 the old priest 
gave him a little donkey1 and told him  
that henceforth he was to take care of  
himself4  ,the young priest started out 
with his little donkey1 and asked alms  
of those he met4  ,few gave to him4     
,finally he got very poor4  ,he could   
not raise money enough to feed the      
donkey4 ,finally the donkey died2 he was
 about to bury it when a thought        
occurred to him4  ,he buried the donkey 
and sat down on the grave1 and to the   
next stranger that passed he said3 ,will
 you not give a little money to erect a 
shrine over the bones of a sinless one8 
,thereupon a man gave money4  ,others   
followed his example1 a shrine was      

raised1 and in a little while a         
monastery was built over the bones of   
the sinless one4  ,down in the grave the
 young priest made an orifice1 so that  
persons afflicted with any disease could
 reach down and touch the bones of the  
sinless one4  ,hundreds were thus cured1
 and persons left their crutches as     
testimonials to the miraculous power of 
the bones of the sinless one4  ,finally 
the priest became so rich that he       
thought he would visit his old master4  
,he went to the old monastery with a    
fine retinue4  ,his old master asked him
 how he became so rich and prosperous4  
,he replied3 ,old age is stupid1 but    
youth has thought4 ,later on he         
explained to the old priest how the     
donkey had died1 and how he had raised a
 monastery over the bones of the sinless
 one2 and again reminded him that old   
age is stupid1 but youth has thought4   
,the old priest exclaimed3 ,not quite so
 fast1 young man2 not quite so fast4    
,don't imagine you worked out anything  

new4  ,this shrine of mine is built over
 the bones of the mother of your little 
donkey4  ,we have now reached a point in
 the history of the world when we know  
that theocracy as a form of government  
is a failure1 and we see that theology  
as a foundation of government is an     
absolute failure4  ,we can see that     
theocracy and theology created1 not     
liberty1 but despotism4 ,we know enough 
of the history of the churches in this  
world to know that they never can       
civilize mankind2 that they are not     
imbued with the spirit of progress2 that
 they are not imbued with the spirit of 
justice and mercy4  ,what ,i ask you    
tonight is3 ,what has the church done to
 civilize mankind8  ,what has the church
 done for us8  ,how has it added to the 
prosperity of this world8 ,has it ever  
produced anything8 ,nothing4 ,why1 they 
say1 it has been charitable4  ,how can a
 beggar be charitable8 ,a beggar        
produces nothing4  ,the church has been 
an eternal and everlasting pauper4 ,it  

is not charitable4  ,it is an object of 
charity1 and yet it claims to be        
charitable4  ,the giver is the          
charitable one4 ,somebody who has made  
something1 somebody who has by his labor
 produced something1 he alone can be    
charitable4  ,and let me say another    
thing3 ,the church is always on the     
wrong side4 ,let us take1 first1 the    
,episcopal church--if you call that a   
church4 ,let me tell you one thing about
 that church4  ,you know what is called 
the rebellion in ,england in #afhh8  ,do
 you know what caused it8  ,i will tell 
you4  ,king ,james was a ,catholic1 and 
notwithstanding that fact1 he issued an 
edict of toleration for the ,dissenters 
and ,catholics4  ,and what next did he  
do8  ,he ordered all the bishops to have
 this edict of toleration read in the   
,episcopal churches4 ,they refused to do
 it--most of them4  ,you recollect that 
trial of the seven bishops8  ,that is   
what it was all about2 they would not   
read the edict of toleration4  ,then    

what happened8  ,a strange thing to say1
 and it is one of the miracles of this  
world3 ,the ,dissenters1 in whose favor 
that edict was issued1 joined hands with
 the ,episcopalians1 and raised the     
rebellion against the king1 because he  
wanted to give the ,dissenters liberty1 
and these ,dissenters and these         
,episcopalians1 on account of           
toleration1 drove ,king ,james into     
exile4  ,this is the history of the     
first rebellion the ,church of ,england 
ever raised against the king1 simply    
because he issued an edict of toleration
 and the poor1 miserable wretches in    
whose favor the edict was issued joined 
hands with their oppressors4  ,i want to
 show you how much the ,church of       
,england has done for ,england4 ,i get  
it from good authority4  ,let me read it
 to you to show how little influence the
 ,christian church1 the ,church of      
,england1 had with the government of    
that country4  ,let me tell you that up 
to the reign of ,george ,i4 there were  

in that country sixty-seven offenses    
punishable with death4  ,there is not a 
lawyer in this city who can think of    
those offenses and write them down in   
one day4  ,think of it6 ,sixty-seven    
offenses punishable with death6  ,now1  
between the accession of ,george ,i4 and
 the termination of the reign of ,george
 ,,iii4 there were added #aef new crimes
 punishable with death1 making in all   
#bbc crimes in ,england punishable with 
death4  ,there is no lawyer in this     
,state who can think of that many crimes
 in a week4 ,now1 during all those years
 the government was becoming more and   
more cruel2 more and more barbarous2 and
 we do not find1 and we have not found1 
that the ,church of ,england1 with its  
#ae1jjj or #bj1jjj ,ministers1 with its 
more than a score of bishops in the     
,house of ,lords1 has ever raised its   
voice or perfected any organization in  
favor of a more merciful code1 or in    
condemnation of the enormous cruelty    
which the laws were continually         

inflicting4 ,and was not ,voltaire      
justified in saying that ,the ,english  
were a people who murdered by law8      
,now1 that is an extract from a speech  
made by ,john ,bright in ,may1 #ahhc4   
,that shows what the ,church of ,england
 did4  ,two hundred and twenty-three    
offenses in ,england punishable with    
death1 and no minister1 no bishop1 no   
church organization raising his or its  
voice1 against the monstrous cruelty4   
,and why8  ,even then it was better than
 the law of ,jehovah4  ,and the         
,protestants were as bad as the         
,catholics4 ,you remember the time of   
,henry ,,iv4 in ,france1 when the edict 
of ,nantes was issued simply to give the
 ,protestants the right to worship ,god 
according to the dictates of their      
conscience4   ,just as soon as that     
edict was issued the ,protestants       
themselves1 in the cities where they had
 the power1 prevented the ,catholics    
from worshiping their ,god according to 
the dictates of their conscience1 and it

 was on account of the refusal of those 
,protestants to allow the ,catholics to 
worship ,god as they desired that there 
was a civil war lasting for seven years 
in ,france4 ,richelieu came into        
authority about the second or third year
 of that war4  ,he made no difference   
between ,protestants and ,catholics2 and
 it was owing to ,richelieu that the    
,thirty ,years' ,war terminated4  ,it   
was owing to ,richelieu that the peace  
of ,westphalia was made in #afdc1       
although ,i believe he had been dead a  
year before that time2 but it was owing 
to him1 and it was the first peace ever 
made between nations on a secular basis1
 with everything religious left out1 and
 it was the last great religious war4   
,you may ask me what ,i want4  ,well1 in
 the first place ,i want to get theology
 out of government4  ,it has no business
 there4  ,man gets his authority from   
man1 and is responsible only to man4  ,i
 want to get theology out of politics4  
,our ancestors in #aggf retired ,god    

from politics1 because of the jealousies
 among the churches1 and the result has 
been splendid for mankind4  ,i want to  
get theology out of education4 ,teach   
the children what somebody knows1 not   
what somebody guesses4  ,i want to get  
theology out of morality1 and out of    
charity4 ,don't give for ,god's sake1   
but for man's sake4  ,i want you to know
 another thing2 that neither            
,protestants nor ,catholics are fit to  
govern this world4  ,they are not fit to
 govern themselves4  ,how could you     
elect a minister of any religion        
president of the ,united ,states4       
,could you elect a bishop of the        
,catholic church1 or a ,methodist       
bishop1 or ,episcopal minister1 or one  
of the elders8 ,no4 ,and why8  ,we are  
afraid of the ecclesiastic spirit4  ,we 
are afraid to trust the liberties of men
 in the hands of people who acknowledge 
that they are bound by a standard       
different from that of the welfare of   
mankind4  ,the history of ,italy1       

,france1 ,spain1 ,portugal1 ,cuba1 and  
,brazil all show that slavery existed   
where ,catholicism was a power4  ,i     
would suggest an education that would   
rule theology out of the government1 and
 teach people to rely more on themselves
 and less on providence4 ,there are two 
ways of living--the broad way of life   
lived for others1 and the narrow        
theological way4  ,it is wise to so live
 that death can be serenely faced1 and  
then1 if there is another world1 the    
best way to prepare for it is to make   
the best of this2 and if there be no    
other world1 the best way to live here  
is to so live as to be happy and make   
everybody else happy4                   
,,ingersoll',s ,,lecture ,,on ,,the     
,,great ,,infidels    ,ladies and       
,gentlemen3 ,there is nothing grander in
 this world than to rescue from the     
leprosy of slander a great and splendid 
name4 ,there is nothing nobler than to  
benefit our benefactors4  ,the infidels 
of one age have been the aureole saints 

of the next4  ,the destroyers of the old
 have always been the creators of the   
new4  ,the old passes away and the new  
becomes old4  ,there is in the          
intellectual world1 as in the material1 
decay and growth2 and even by the sunken
 grave of age stand youth and joy4  ,the
 history of progress is written in the  
lives of infidels4  ,political rights   
have been preserved by traitors2        
intellectual rights by infidels4  ,to   
attack the kings was treason2 to dispute
 the priests blasphemy4 ,the sword and  
cross have always been allies2 they     
defended each other4 ,the throne and    
altar are twins--vultures born of the   
same egg4  ,it was ,james ,i4 who said3 
,no king1 no bishop2 no church1 no      
crown2 no tyrant in heaven1 no tyrant on
 earth4  ,every monarchy that has       
disgraced the world1 every despotism    
that has covered the cheeks of men with 
fear has been copied after the supposed 
despotism of hell4 ,the king owned the  
bodies and the priest owned the souls2  

one lived on taxes and the other on     
alms2 one was a robber and the other a  
beggar4  ,the history of the world will 
not show you one charitable beggar4  ,he
 who lives on charity never has anything
 to give away4  ,the robbers and beggars
 controlled not only this world1 but the
 next4  ,the king made laws1 the priest 
made creeds2 with bowed backs the people
 received and bore the burdens of the   
one1 and with the open mouth of wonder  
the creed of the other4  ,if any aspired
 to be free they were crushed by the    
king1 and every priest was a hero who   
slaughtered the children of the brave4  
,the king ruled by force1 the priest by 
fear and by the bible4 ,the king said to
 the people3 ,god made you peasants and 
me a king2 ,he clothed you in rags and  
housed you in hovels2 upon me ,he put   
robes and gave me a palace4  ,such is   
the justice of ,god4  ,the priest said  
to the people3 ,god made you ignorant   
and vile1 me holy and wise2 obey me1 or 
,god will punish you here and hereafter4

  ,such is the mercy of ,god4  ,infidels
 are the intellectual discoverers4      
,infidels have sailed the unknown sea   
and have discovered the isles and       
continents in the vast realms of        
thought4   ,what would the world have   
been had infidels never existed8  ,what 
the infidel is in religion the inventor 
is in mechanics4 ,what the infidel is in
 religion the man willing to fight the  
hosts of tyranny is in the political    
world4  ,an infidel is a gentleman who  
has discovered a fact and is not afraid 
to tell about it4  ,there has been for  
many thousands of years an idea         
prevalent that in some way you can prove
 whether the theories defended or       
advanced by a man are right or wrong by 
showing what kind of a man he was1 what 
kind of a life he lived1 and what manner
 of death he died4  ,there is nothing to
 this4  ,it makes no difference what the
 character of the man was who made the  
first multiplication table4  ,it is     
absolutely true1 and whenever you find  

an absolute fact1 it makes no difference
 who discovered it4  ,the golden rule   
would have been just as good if it had  
first been whispered by the devil4  ,it 
is good for what it contains1 not       
because a certain man said it4 ,gold is 
just as good in the hands of crime as in
 the hands of virtue4 ,whatever it may  
be1 it is gold4  ,a statement made by a 
great man is not necessarily true4  ,a  
man entertains certain opinions1 and    
then he is proscribed because he refuses
 to change his mind4  ,he is burned to  
ashes1 and in the midst of the flames he
 cries out that he is of the same       
opinion still4  ,hundreds then say that 
he has sealed his testimony with his    
blood1 and that his doctrines must be   
true4  ,all the martyrs in the history  
of the world are not sufficient to      
establish the correctness of any one    
opinion4  ,martyrdom as a rule          
establishes the sincerity of the martyr1
 not the correctness of his thought4    
,things are true or false independently 

of the man who entertains them4  ,truth 
cannot be affected by opinion2 an error 
cannot be believed sincerely enough to  
make it the truth4  ,no ,christian will 
admit that any amount of heroism        
displayed by a ,mormon is sufficient to 
show that ,joseph ,smith was an inspired
 prophet4  ,all the courage and culture1
 all the poetry and art of ancient      
,greece do not even tend to establish   
the truth of any myth4  ,the testimony  
of the dying concerning some other      
world1 or in regard to the supernatural1
 cannot be any better than that of the  
living4 ,in the early days of ,christian
 experience an intrepid faith was       
regarded as a testimony in favor of the 
church4  ,no doubt1 in the arms of      
death1 many a one went back and died in 
the lay of the old faith4  ,after awhile
 ,christians got to dying and clinging  
to their faith2 and then it was that    
,christians began to say3 ,no man can   
die serenely without clinging to the    
cross4  ,according to the theologians1  

,god has always punished the dying who  
did not happen to believe in ,him4  ,as 
long as men did nothing except to render
 their fellowmen wretched1 ,god         
maintained the strictest neutrality1 but
 when some honest man expressed a doubt 
as to the ,jewish scriptures1 or prayed 
to the wrong god1 or to the right ,god  
by the wrong man1 then the real ,god    
leaped like a wounded tiger upon this   
dying man1 and from his body tore his   
wretched soul4  ,there is no recorded   
instance where the uplifted hand of     
murder has been paralyzed1 or the       
innocent have been shielded by ,god4    
,thousands of crimes are committed every
 day1 and ,god has no time to prevent   
them4 ,he is too busy numbering hairs   
and matching sparrows2 ,he is listening 
for blasphemy2 ,he is looking for       
persons who laugh at priests2 ,he is    
examining baptismal registers2 ,he is   
watching professors in colleges who     
begin to doubt the geology of ,moses or 
the astronomy of ,joshua4 ,all kinds of 

criminals1 except infidels1 meet death  
with reasonable serenity4  ,as a rule1  
there is nothing in the death of a      
pirate to cast discredit upon his       
profession4  ,the murderer upon the     
scaffold smilingly exhorts the multitude
 to meet him in heaven4  ,the ,emperor  
,constantine1 who lifted ,christianity  
into power1 murdered his wife and oldest
 son4  ,now and then1 in the history of 
the world1 there has been a man of      
genius1 a man of intellectual honesty4  
,these men have denounced the           
superstition of their day4  ,they were  
honest enough to tell their thoughts4   
,some of them died naturally in their   
beds1 but it would not do for the church
 to admit that they died peaceably2 that
 would show that religion was not       
necessary in the last moments4  ,the    
first grave1 the first cathedral2 the   
first corpse was the first priest4 ,if  
there was no death in the world there   
would be no superstition4 ,the church   
has taken great pains to show that the  

last moments of all infidels have been  
infinitely wretched4  ,upon this point1 
,catholics and ,protestants have always 
stood together4  ,they are no longer    
men2 they become hyenas1 they dig open  
graves4  ,they devour the dead4 ,it is  
an auto da fe presided over by ,god and 
his angels4  ,these men believed in the 
accountability of men in the practice of
 virtue and justice4  ,they believed in 
liberty1 but they did not believe in the
 inspiration of the bible4  ,that was   
their crime4  ,in order to show that    
infidels died overwhelmed with remorse  
and fear they have generally selected   
from all the infidels since the days of 
,christ until now five men--the ,emperor
 ,julian1 ,bruno1 ,diderot1 ,david ,hume
 and ,thomas ,paine4  ,they forget that 
,christ himself was not a ,christian1   
that ,he did what ,he could to tear down
 the religion of ,his day2 that ,he held
 the temple in contempt4  ,i like ,him  
because ,he held the old ,jewish        
religion in contempt2 because ,he had   

sense enough to say that doctrine was   
not true4  ,in vain have their          
calumniators been called upon to prove  
their statements4  ,they simply charge  
it1 they simply relate it1 but that is  
no evidence4  ,the ,emperor ,julian did 
what he could to prevent ,christians    
destroying each other4  ,he held pomp   
and pride in contempt4 ,in battle with  
the ,persians he was mortally wounded4  
,feeling that he had but a short time to
 live1 he spent his last hours in       
discussing with his friends the         
immortality of the soul4  ,he declared  
that he was satisfied with his conduct1 
and that he had no remorse to express   
for any act he had ever done4  ,the     
first great infidel was ,giordano       
,bruno4  ,he was born in the year of    
grace #aeej4  ,he was a ,dominican      
friar--,catholic--and afterwards he     
changed his mind4  ,the reason he       
changed was because he had a mind4  ,he 
was a lover of nature1 and said to the  
poor hermits in their caves1 to the poor

 monks in their monasteries1 to the poor
 nuns in their cells3 ,come out in the  
glad fields2 come and breathe the fresh1
 free air2 come and enjoy all the beauty
 there is in the world4  ,there is no   
,god who can be made happier by you     
being miserable2 there is no ,god who   
delights to see upon the human face the 
tears of pain1 of grief1 of agony4      
,come out and enjoy all there is of     
human life2 enjoy progress1 enjoy       
thought1 enjoy being somebody and       
belonging to yourself4  ,he revolted at 
the idea of transubstantiation2 he      
revolted at the idea that the eternal   
,god could be in a wafer4  ,he revolted 
at the idea that you could make the     
,trinity out of dough--bake ,god in an  
oven as you would a biscuit4  ,i should 
think he would have revolted4 ,the idea 
of a man devouring the creator of the   
universe by swallowing a piece of bread4
  ,and yet that is just as sensible as  
any of it4 ,those who1 when smitten on  
one cheek turn the other1 threatened to 

kill this man4  ,he fled from his native
 land and was a vagabond in nearly every
 nation of ,europe4  ,he declared that  
he fought not what men really believed1 
but what they pretended to believe4     
,and1 do you know1 that is the business 
,i am in8  ,i am simply saying what     
other people think2 ,i am furnishing    
clothes for their children1 ,i am       
putting on exhibition their offspring1  
and they like to hear it1 they like to  
see it4  ,we have passed midnight in the
 history of the world4  ,bruno was      
driven from his native country because  
he taught the rotation of the earth2 you
 can see what a dangerous man he must   
have been in a well regulated monarchy4 
,you see he had found a fact1 and a fact
 has the same effect upon religion that 
dynamite has upon a ,russian czar4  ,a  
fellow with a new fact was suspected and
 arrested1 and they always thought they 
could destroy it by burning him1 but    
they never did4  ,all the fires of      
martyrdom never destroyed one truth2 all

 the churches of the world have never   
made one lie true4 ,germany and ,france 
would not tolerate ,bruno4  ,according  
to the ,christian system1 this world was
 the center of everything4  ,the stars  
were made out of what little ,god       
happened to have left when ,he got the  
world done4  ,god lived up in the sky1  
and they said this earth must rest upon 
something1 and finally science passed   
its hand clear under1 and there was     
nothing4  ,it was self-existent in      
infinite space4 ,then the church began  
to say they didn't say it was flat--not 
so awful flat--it was kind of rounding4 
,according to the ancient ,christians   
,god lived from all eternity1 and never 
worked but six days in ,his whole life1 
and then had the impudence to tell us to
 be industrious4 ,i heard of a man going
 to ,california over the plains1 and1   
there was a clergyman on board1 and he  
had a great deal to say1 and finally he 
fell in conversation with the '#di-;er1 
and the latter said to the clergyman3   

,do you believe that ,god made this     
world in six days8 ,yes1 ,i do4 ,they   
were then going along the ,humboldt4    
,says he3 ,don't you think ,he could put
 in another day to advantage right      
around here8  ,bruno went to ,england   
and delivered lectures at ,oxford4  ,he 
found that there was nothing taught     
there but superstition1 and so called   
,oxford the wisdom of learning4  ,then  
they told him they didn't want him any  
more4  ,he went back to ,italy1 where   
there was a kind of fascination that    
threw him back to the very doors of the 
,inquisition4  ,he was arrested for     
teaching that there were other worlds1  
and that stars are suns around which    
revolve other planets4 ,he was in prison
 for six years4 7,during those six years
 ,galileo was teaching mathematics47    
,six years in a dungeon2 and then he was
 tried1 denounced by the ,inquisition1  
excommunicated1 condemned by brute      
force1 pushed upon his knees while he   
received the benediction of the church1 

and on the #afth of ,february1 in the   
year of our ,lord #afjj1 he was burned  
at the stake4  ,he believed that the    
world is animated by an intelligent     
soul1 the cause of force but not of     
matter2 that matter and force have      
existed from eternity2 that this force  
lives in all things1 even in such as    
appear not to live--in the rock as much 
as in the man2 that matter is the mother
 of forms and the grace of forms2 that  
the matter and force together constitute
 ,god4  ,he was a pantheist--that is to 
say1 he was an atheist4  ,he had the    
courage to die for what he believed to  
be right4 ,the murder of ,bruno will    
never1 in my judgment1 be completely and
 perfectly revenged until from the city 
of ,rome shall be swept every vestige of
 priests and pope--until from the       
shapeless ruins of ,st4 ,peter's1 the   
crumbled ,vatican and the fallen cross  
of ,rome1 rises a monument sacred to the
 philosopher1 the benefactor and the    
martyr--,bruno4  ,voltaire was born in  

#afid4  ,when he was born1 the natural  
was about the only thing that the church
 did not believe in4  ,monks sold       
amulets1 and the priests cured in the   
name of the church4  ,the worship of the
 devil was actually established1 which  
today is the religion of ,china4 ,they  
say3 ,god is good2 ,he won't bother you2
 ,joss is the one4 ,they offer him      
gifts1 and try and soften his           
heart2--so1 in the middle ages1 the poor
 people tried to see if they could not  
get a short cut1 and trade directly with
 the devil1 instead of going round-about
 through the church4  ,in these days    
witnesses were cross-examined with      
instruments of torture4  ,voltaire did  
more for human liberty than any other   
man who ever lived or died4  ,he        
appealed to the common sense of         
mankind--he held up the great           
contradictions of the sacred scriptures 
in a way that no man1 once having read  
him1 could forget4 ,for one1 ,i thank   
,voltaire for the liberty ,i am enjoying

 this moment4 ,how small a man a priest 
looked when he pointed his finger at    
him2 how contemptible a king4  ,toward  
the last of ,may1 #aggh1 it was         
whispered in ,paris that ,voltaire was  
dying4  ,he expired with the most       
perfect tranquility4  ,there have been  
constructed most shameless lies about   
the death of this great and wonderful   
man1 compared with whom all his         
calumniators1 living or dead1 were but  
dust and vermin4  ,from his throne at   
the foot of the ,alps he pointed the    
finger of scorn at every hypocrite in   
,europe4 ,he was the pioneer of his     
century4  ,in #agga1 in ,scotland1      
,david ,hume was born4  ,scotch         
,presbyterianism is the worst form of   
religion that has ever been produced4   
,the ,scotch ,kirk had all the faults of
 the ,church of ,rome1 without a        
redeeming feature4 ,the church hated    
music1 despised painting1 abhorred      
statuary1 and held architecture in      
contempt4  ,anything touched with       

humanity1 with the weakness of love1    
with the dimple of joy1 was detested by 
the ,scotch ,kirk4  ,god was to be      
feared2 ,god was infinitely practical2  
no nonsense about ,god4  ,they used to  
preach four times a day4  ,they preached
 on ,friday before the ,sunday upon     
which they partook of the sacrament1 and
 then on ,saturday2 four sermons on     
,sunday1 and two or three on ,monday to 
sober up on4  ,they were bigoted and    
heartless4  ,one case will illustrate4  
,in the beginning of this nineteenth    
century a boy seventeen years of age was
 indicted at ,edinburgh for blasphemy4  
,he had given it as his opinion that    
,moses had learned magic in ,egypt1 and 
had fooled the ,jews4  ,they proved that
 on two or three occasions1 when he was 
real cold1 he jocularly remarked that he
 wished he was in hell1 so that he could
 warm up4  ,he was tried1 convicted1 and
 sentenced to be hanged4  ,he recanted2 
he even wrote that he believed the whole
 business2 and that he just said it for 

pure devilment4  ,it made no difference4
  ,they hung him1 and his bruised and   
bleeding corpse was denied to his own   
mother1 who came and besought them to   
let her take her boy home4  ,that was   
,scotch ,presbyterianism4  ,if the devil
 had been let loose in ,scotland he     
would have improved that country at that
 time4  ,david ,hume was one of the few 
,scotchmen who was not owned by the     
church4 ,he had the courage to examine  
things for himself1 and to give his     
conclusion to the world4  ,his life was 
unstained by an unjust act4 ,he did not1
 like ,abraham1 turn a woman from his   
door with his child in her arms4  ,he   
did not1 like ,king ,david1 murder a man
 that he might steal his wife4  ,he     
didn't believe in ,scotch               
,presbyterianism4 ,i don't see how any  
good man ever did4  ,just think of going
 to the day of judgment1 if there is    
one1 and standing up before ,god and    
admitting1 without a blush1 that you    
have lived and died a ,scotch           

,presbyterian4  ,i would expect the next
 sentence would be1  ,depart ye cursed  
in everlasting fire4  ,hume took the    
ground that a miracle could not be used 
as evidence until you had proved the    
miracle4  ,of course that excited the   
church4  ,why8  ,because they could not 
prove one of them4 ,how are you going to
 prove a miracle8 ,who saw it1 and who  
would know a devil if he did see him8   
,hume insisted that at the bottom of all
 good is something useful2 that after   
all1 human happiness was the great      
object1 end1 and aim of life2 that      
virtue was not a termagant1 with sunken 
cheeks and frightful eyes1 but was the  
most beautiful thing in the world1 and  
would strew your path with flowers from 
the cradle to the grave4  ,when he died 
they gave an account of how he had      
suffered4 ,they knew that the horrors of
 death would fall upon him1 and that    
,god would get his revenge4  ,but his   
attending physician said that his death 
was the most serene and most perfectly  

tranquil of any he had ever seen4  ,adam
 ,smith said he was as near perfect as  
the frailty incident to humanity would  
allow human being to be4  ,the next is  
,benedict ,spinoza1 a ,jew1 born at     
,amsterdam in #agfh4  ,he studied       
theology1 and asked the rabbis too many 
questions1 and talked too much about    
what he called reason1 and finally he   
was excommunicated from the synagogue1  
and became an outcast at the age of     
twenty-four1 without friends4  ,cursed1 
anathematized1 bearing upon his forehead
 the mark of ,cain1 he undertook to     
solve the problem of the universe4  ,to 
him the universe was one4  ,the infinite
 embraced the all4  ,that all was ,god4 
,he was right2 the universe is all there
 is1 and if ,god does not exist in the  
universe ,he exists nowhere4  ,the idea 
of putting some little ,jewish jehovah  
outside the universe1 as if to say that 
from an eternity of idleness he woke up 
one morning and thought he would make   
something4  ,the propositions of        

,spinoza are as luminous as the stars1  
and his demonstrations1 each one of     
them1 is a ,gibraltar1 behind which     
logic sits laughing at all the          
sophistries of theological thought4  ,in
 every relation of life he was just1    
true1 gentle1 patient1 loving1          
affectionate4  ,he died in #ahab4  ,in  
his life of forty-four years he had     
climbed to the very highest alpine of   
human thought4  ,he was a great and     
splendid man1 an intellectual hero1 one 
of the benefactors1 one of the ,titans  
of our race4  ,and now ,i will say a few
 words about our infidels4  ,we had     
three1 to say the least of them--,paine1
 ,franklin and ,jefferson4  ,in their   
day the colonies were filled with       
superstition1 and the ,puritans with the
 spirit of persecution4  ,law1 savage1  
ignorant and malignant1 had been passed 
in every colony for the purpose of      
destroying intellectual liberty4  ,manly
 freedom was unknown4  ,the toleration  
act of ,maryland tolerated only         

chickens1 not thinkers1 not             
investigators4  ,it tolerated faith1 not
 brains4  ,the charity of ,roger        
,williams was not extended to one who   
denied the bible4  ,let me show you how 
we have advanced4 ,suppose you took     
every man and woman out of the          
,penitentiary in ,new ,england and      
shipped them to a new country where man 
before had never trod1 and told them to 
make a government1 and constitution1 and
 a code of laws for themselves4 ,i say  
tonight that they would make a better   
constitution and a better code of laws  
than any that were made in any of the   
original thirteen colonies of the       
,united ,states4  ,not that they are    
better men1 not that they are more      
honest1 but that they have got more     
sense4  ,they have been touched with the
 dawn of the eternal day of liberty that
 will finally come to this world4  ,they
 would have more respect for others'    
rights than they had at that time4 ,but 
the churches were jealous of each other1

 and we got a constitution without      
religion in it from the mutual          
jealousies of the church1 and from the  
genius of men like ,paine1 ,franklin and
 ,jefferson4  ,we are indebted to them  
for a constitution without a ,god in it4
  ,they knew that if you put ,god in    
there1 an infinite ,god1 there wouldn't 
be any room for the people4  ,our       
fathers retired ,jehovah from politics4 
,our fathers1 under the directions and  
leadership of those infidels1 said1 ,all
 power comes from the consent of the    
governed4  ,george ,washington wanted to
 establish a church by law in ,virginia4
  ,thomas ,jefferson prevented it4      
,under the guaranty of liberty of       
conscience which was given1 our         
legislation has improved1 and it will   
not be many years before all laws       
touching liberty of conscience1         
excepting it may be in the ,state of    
,delaware1 will be blotted out1 and when
 that time comes we or our children may 
thank the infidels of #aggf4  ,the      

church never pretended that ,franklin   
died in fear4  ,franklin wrote no books 
against the bible4 ,he thought it       
useless to cast the pearls of thought   
before the swine of his generation4     
,jefferson was a statesman4  ,he was the
 author of the ,declaration of          
,independence1 founder of a university1 
father of a political body1 president of
 the ,united ,states1 a statesman1 and a
 philosopher4  ,he was too powerful for 
the churches of his day4  ,paine        
attacked the ,trinity and the bible     
both4  ,he had done these things        
openly--,his arguments were so good that
 his reputation got bad4  ,i want you to
 recollect tonight that he was the first
 man who wrote these words3 ,the ,united
 ,states of ,america4  ,i want you to   
know tonight that he was the first man  
who suggested the ,federal              
,constitution4  ,i want you to know that
 he did more for the actual separation  
from ,great ,britain than any man that  
ever lived4  ,i want you to know that he

 did as much for liberty with his pen as
 any soldier did with his sword4  ,i    
want you to know that during the        
,revolution his ,crisis was the pillar  
of fire by night and a cloud by day4  ,i
 want you to know that his ,common      
,sense was the one star in the horizon  
of despotism4  ,i want you to know that 
he did as much as any living man to give
 our free flag to the free air4  ,he was
 not content to waste all his energies  
here4  ,when the volcano covered ,europe
 with the shreds of robes and the broken
 fragments of thrones1 ,paine went to   
,france4  ,he was elected by four       
constituencies4  ,he had the courage to 
vote against the death of ,louis1 and   
was imprisoned4  ,he wrote to           
,washington1 the president1 and asked   
him to interfere4 ,washington threw the 
letter in the wastebasket of            
forgetfulness4  ,when ,paine was finally
 released he gave his opinion of ,george
 ,washington1 and1 under such           
circumstances1 ,i say a man can be      

pardoned for having said even unjust    
things4  ,the eighteenth century was    
crowning its gray hairs with the wreaths
 of progress1 and ,thomas ,paine said3  
,i will do something to liberate mankind
 from superstition4  ,he wrote the ,age 
of ,reason4  ,for his good1 he wrote it 
too soon2 for ours1 not a day too quick4
  ,from that moment he was a despised   
and calumniated man4  ,when he came back
 to this country he could not safely    
walk the streets for fear of being      
mobbed4   ,under the ,constitution he   
had suggested1 his rights were not safe2
 under the flag that he had helped give 
to heaven1 with which he had enriched   
the air1 his liberty was not safe4  ,is 
it not a disgrace to us that all the    
lies that have been told about him1 and 
will be told about him1 are a perpetual 
disgrace8  ,i tell you that upon the    
grave of ,thomas ,paine the churches of 
,america have sacrificed their          
reputation for veracity4 ,who can hate a
 man with a creed3  ,i believe in one   

,god and no more1 and ,i hope for       
immortality2 ,i believe in the equality 
of man1 and that religious duty consists
 in doing justice1 in doing mercy1 and  
in endeavoring to make our              
fellow-creatures happy4 ,it is necessary
 to the happiness of man that he be     
faithful to himself4  ,one good         
schoolmaster is worth a thousand        
priests4 ,man has no property in man1   
and the key of heaven is in the keeping 
of no saint4  ,grand1 splendid1 brave   
man6--with some faults1 with many       
virtues2 the world is better because he 
lived2 and if ,thomas ,paine had not    
lived ,i could not have delivered this  
lecture here tonight4  ,did all the     
priests of ,rome increase the mental    
wealth of man as much as ,bruno8  ,did  
all the priests of ,france do as great a
 work for the civilization of this world
 as ,diderot and ,voltaire8  ,did all   
the ministers of ,scotland add as much  
to the sum of human knowledge as ,david 
,hume8  ,have all the clergymen1 monks1 

friars1 ministers1 priests1 bishops1    
cardinals and popes from the day of     
,pentecost to the last election done as 
much for human liberty as ,thomas       
,paine8  ,what would the world be now if
 infidels had never been8  ,infidels    
have been the flower of all this world4 
,recollect1 by infidels ,i mean every   
man who has made an intellectual        
advance4 ,by orthodox ,i mean a         
gentleman who is petrified in his mind1 
whopping around intellectually1 simply  
to save the funeral expenses of his     
soul4 ,infidels are the creditors of all
 the years to come4  ,they have made    
this world fit to live in1 and without  
them the human brain would be as empty  
as the ,chronicles soon will be4 ,unless
 they preach something that the people  
want to hear1 it is not a crime to      
benefit our fellow-man intellectually4  
,the churches point to their decayed    
saints and their crumbled popes and say1
  ,do you know more than all the        
ministers that ever lived8  ,and1       

without the slightest egotism or blush1 
,i say1 ,yes2 and the name of ,humboldt 
outweighs them all4 ,the men who stand  
in the front rank1 the men who know most
 of the secrets of nature1 the men who  
know most are today the advanced        
infidels of this world4  ,i have lived  
long enough to see the brand of         
intellectual inferiority on every       
orthodox brain4      ,,ingersoll',s     
,,lecture ,,on ,,talmagian ,,theology4  
,ladies and ,gentlemen3 ,nothing can be 
more certain than that no human being   
can by any possibility control his      
thought4  ,we are in this world--we see1
 we hear1 we feel1 we taste2 and        
everything in nature makes an impression
 upon the brain1 and that wonderful     
something1 enthroned there with these   
materials1 weaves what we call thought1 
and the brain can no more help thinking 
than the heart can help beating4 ,the   
blood pursues its old accustomed round  
without our will4  ,the heart beats     
without asking leave of us1 and the     

brain thinks in spite of all that we can
 do4 ,this being true1 no human being   
can justly be held responsible for his  
thought any more than for the beating of
 his heart1 any more than for the course
 pursued by the blood1 any more than for
 breathing air4  ,and yet for thousands 
of years thought has been thought to be 
a crime1 and thousands and millions have
 threatened us with eternal fire if we  
give the product of that brain4  ,each  
brain1 in my judgment1 is a field where 
nature sows the seeds of thought1 and   
thought is the crop that man reaps1 and 
it certainly cannot be a crime to       
gather2 it certainly cannot be a crime  
to tell it1 which simply amounts to the 
right to sell your crop or to exchange  
your product for the product of some    
other man's brain4  ,that is all it is4 
,most brains--at least some--are rather 
poor fields1 and the orthodox worst of  
all4  ,that field produces mostly sorrel
 and mullin1 while there are fields     
which1 like the tropic world1 are filled

 with growth1 and where you find the    
vine and palm1 royal children of the sun
 and brain4  ,i then stand simply for   
absolute freedom of thought--absolute2  
and ,i don't believe1 if there be a     
,god1 that it will be or can be pleasing
 to ,him to see one of ,his children    
afraid to express what he thinks4  ,and1
 if ,i were ,god1 ,i never would cease  
making men until ,i succeeded in making 
one grand enough to tell his honest     
opinion4  ,now there has been a         
struggle1 you know1 a long time between 
the believers in the natural and the    
supernatural--between gentlemen who are 
going to reward us in another world and 
those who propose to make life worth    
living here and now4  ,in all ages the  
priest1 the medicine man1 the magician1 
the astrologer1 in other words1         
gentlemen who have traded upon the fear 
and ignorance of their fellow-man in all
 countries--they have sought to1 make   
their living out of others4  ,there was 
a time when a ,god presided over every  

department of human interest1 when a man
 about to take a voyage bribed the      
priest of ,neptune so that he might have
 a safe journey1 and when he came back1 
he paid more1 telling the priest that he
 was infinitely obliged to him2 that he 
had kept waves from the sea and storms  
in their caves4  ,and so1 when one was  
sick he went to a priest2 when one was  
about to take a journey he visited the  
priest of ,mercury2 if he were going to 
war he consulted the representative of  
,mars4  ,we have gone along4  ,when the 
poor agriculturist plowed his ground and
 put in the seed he went to the priest  
of some god and paid him to keep off the
 frost4  ,and the priest said he would  
do it2 but1 added the priest1 you must  
have faith4 ,if the frost came early he 
said1 ,you didn't have faith4  ,and     
besides all that he says to him3        
,anything that has happened badly1 after
 all1 was for your good4  ,well1 we     
found out1 day by day1 that a good boat 
for the purpose of navigating the sea   

was better than prayers1 better than the
 influence of priests2 and you had      
better have a good captain attending to 
business than thousands of priests      
ashore praying4  ,we also found that we 
could cure some diseases1 and just as   
soon as we found that we could cure     
diseases we dismissed the priest4  ,we  
have left him out now of all of them1   
except it may be cholera and smallpox4  
,when visited by a plague some people   
get frightened enough to go back to the 
old idea--go back to the priest1 and the
 priest says3 ,it has been sent as a    
punishment4  ,well1 sensible people     
began to look about2 they saw that the  
good died as readily as the bad2 they   
saw that this disease would attack the  
dimpled child in the cradle and allow   
the murderer to go unpunished2 and so   
they began to think in time that it was 
not sent as a punishment2 that it was a 
natural result2 and so the priest       
stepped out of medicine4  ,in           
agriculture we need him no longer2 he   

has nothing to do with the crops4  ,all 
the clergymen in this world can never   
get one drop of rain out of the sky2 and
 all the clergymen in the civilized     
world could not save one human life if  
they tried it4  ,oh1 but they say1 ,we  
do not expect a direct answer to prayer2
 it is the reflex action we are after4  
,it is like a man endeavoring to lift   
himself up by the straps of his boots2  
he will never do it1 but he will get a  
great deal of useful exercise4  ,the    
missionary goes to some pagan land1 and 
there he finds a man praying to a god of
 stone1 and it excites the wrath of the 
missionary4 ,i ask you tonight1 does not
 that stone god answer prayer just as   
well as ours8 ,does he not cause rain8  
,does he not delay frost8  ,does he not 
snatch the ones that we love from the   
grasp of death precisely the same as    
ours8  ,yet we have ministers that are  
still engaged in that business4 ,they   
tell us that they have been called2 that
 they do not go at their profession as  

other people do1 but they are called2   
that ,god1 looking over the world1      
carefully selects ,his priests1 ,his    
ministers1 and ,his exhorters4  ,i don't
 know4  ,they say their calling is      
sacred4  ,i say to you tonight that     
every kind of business that is honest   
that a man engages in for the purpose of
 feeding his wife and children1 for the 
purpose of building up his home1 for the
 purpose of feeding and clothing the    
ones he loves--that business is sacred4 
,they tell us that statesmen and poets1 
philosophers1 heroes1 and scientists and
 inventors come by chance2 that all     
other departments depend entirely upon  
luck2 but when ,god wants exhorters ,he 
selects4  ,they also tell us that it is 
infinitely wicked to attack the         
,christian religion1 and when ,i speak  
of the ,christian religion ,i do not    
refer especially to the ,christianity of
 the new testament2 ,i refer to the     
,christianity of the orthodox church1   
and when ,i refer to the clergy ,i refer

 to the clergy of the orthodox church4  
,there was a time when men of genius    
were in the pulpits of the orthodox     
church2 that time is past4  ,when you   
find a man with brains now occupying an 
orthodox pulpit you will find him       
touched with heresy--every one of them4 
,how do they get most of these          
ministers8  ,there will be a man in the 
neighborhood not very well--not having  
constitution enough to be wicked1 and it
 instantly suggests itself to everybody 
who sees him that he would make an      
excellent minister4  ,there are so many 
other professions1 so many cities to be 
built1 so many railways to be           
constructed1 so many poems to be sung1  
so much music to be composed1 so many   
papers to edit1 so many books to read1  
so many splendid things1 so many avenues
 to distinction and glory1 so many      
things beckoning from the horizon of the
 future to every great and splendid man 
that the pulpit has to put up with the  
leavings--ravelings1 selvage4  ,these   

preachers say1 ,how can any man be      
wicked and infamous enough to attack our
 religion and take from the world the   
solace of orthodox ,christianity8  ,what
 is that solace8  ,let us be honest4    
,what is it8 ,if the ,christian religion
 be true1 the grandest1 greatest1       
noblest of the world are now in hell1   
and the narrowest and meanest are now in
 heaven4 ,humboldt1 the ,shakespeare of 
science1 the most learned man of the    
most learned nation1 with a mind grand  
enough to grasp not simply this globe1  
but this constellation--a man who shed  
light upon the whole earth--a man who   
honored human nature1 and who won all   
his victories on the field of           
thought--that man1 pure and upright1    
noble beyond description1 if            
,christianity be true1 is in hell this  
moment4 ,that is what they call         
solace--tidings of great joy4           
,la,place1 who read the heavens like an 
open book1 who enlarged the horizon of  
human thought1 is there too4 ,beethoven1

 ,master of melody and harmony1 who     
added to the joy of human life1 and who 
has borne upon the wings of harmony and 
melody millions of spirits to the height
 of joy1 with his heart still filled    
with melody--he is in hell today4       
,robert ,burns1 poet of love and        
liberty1 and from his heart1 like a     
spring gurgling and running down the    
highways1 his poems have filled the     
world with music4  ,they have added     
luster to human love4  ,that man who1 in
 four lines1 gave all the philosophy of 
life--                  ,to make a happy
 fireside clime                 ,for    
weans and wife                 ,is the  
true pathos and                 ,sublime
 ,of human life  --he is there with the 
rest4  ,charles ,dickens1 whose genius  
will be a perpetual shield1 saving      
thousands and millions of children from 
blows1 who did more to make us tender   
with children than any other writer that
 ever touched a pen--he is there with   
the rest1 according to our ,christian   

religion4 ,a little while ago there died
 in this country a philosopher--,ralph  
,waldo ,emerson--a man of the loftiest  
ideal1 a perfect model of integrity1    
whose mind was like a placid lake and   
reflected truths like stars4  ,if the   
,christian religion be true1 he is in   
perdition today4   ,and yet he sowed the
 seeds of thought1 and raised the whole 
world intellectually4 ,and ,longfellow1 
whose poems1 tender as the dawn1 have   
gone into millions of homes1 not an     
impure1 not a stained word in them all2 
but he was not a ,christian4  ,he did   
not believe in the tidings of great joy4
  ,he didn't believe that ,god so loved 
the world that ,he intended to damn most
 everybody4  ,and now he has gone to his
 reward4  ,and ,charles ,darwin--a child
 of nature--one who knew more about his 
mother than any other child she ever    
had4  ,what is philosophy8  ,it is to   
account for phenomena by which we are   
surrounded--that is1 to find the hidden 
cord that unites everything4 ,charles   

,darwin threw more light upon the       
problem of human existence than all the 
priests who ever lived from ,melchisedec
 to the last exhorter4  ,he would have  
traversed this globe on foot had it been
 possible to have found one new fact or 
to have corrected one error that he had 
made4  ,no nobler man has lived--no man 
who has studied with more reverence 7and
 by reverence ,i mean simply one who    
lives and studies for the truth7--no man
 who studied with more reverence than   
he4  ,and yet1 according to orthodox    
religion1 ,charles ,darwin is in hell4  
,consolation6  ,so1 if ,christianity be 
true1 ,shakespeare1 the greatest man who
 ever touched this planet1 within whose 
brain were the fruits of all thought    
past1 the seeds of all to               
be--,shakespeare1 who was an            
intellectual ocean toward which all     
rivers ran1 and from which now the isles
 and continents of thought received     
their dew and rain--that man who has    
added more to the intelligence of the   

world than any other who ever           
lived--that man1 whose creations will   
live as long as man has imagination1 and
 who has given more happiness upon the  
stage and more instruction than has     
flown from all the pulpits of this      
earth--that man is in hell1 too4  ,and  
,harriet ,martineau1 who did as much for
 ,english liberty as any man1 brave and 
free--she is there4 ,george ,eliot1 the 
greatest woman the ,english-speaking    
people ever produced--she is with the   
rest4  ,and this is called ,tidings of  
great joy4  ,who are in heaven8  ,how   
could there be much of a heaven without 
the men ,i have mentioned--the great men
 that have endeavored to make the world 
grander--such men as ,voltaire1 such men
 as ,diderot1 such men as the           
encyclopedists1 such men as ,hume1 such 
men as ,bruno1 such men as ,thomas      
,paine8  ,if ,christianity is true1 that
 man who spent his life in breaking     
chains is now wearing the chains of     
,god2 that man who wished to break down 

the prison walls of tyranny is now in   
the prison of the most merciful ,christ4
  ,it will not do4  ,i can hardly       
express to you today my contempt for    
such a doctrine2 and if it be true1 ,i  
make my choice today1 and ,i prefer     
hell4  ,who is in heaven8  ,john        
,calvin6  ,john ,knox6  ,jonathan       
,edwards6 ,torquemada--the builders of  
dungeons1 the men who have obstructed   
the march of the human race4  ,these are
 the men who are in heaven2 and who     
else8  ,those who never had brain enough
 to harbor a doubt4 ,and they ask me3   
,how can you be wicked enough to attack 
the ,christian religion8  ,oh1 but they 
say1  ,god will never forgive you if you
 attack the orthodox religion4  ,now1   
when ,i read the history of this world1 
and when ,i think of the experience of  
my fellow-men1 when ,i think of the     
millions living in poverty1 and when ,i 
know that in the very air we breathe and
 in the sunlight that visits our homes  
there lurks an assassin ready to take   

our lives1 and even when we believe we  
are in the fullness health and joy1 they
 are undermining us with their          
contagion--when ,i know that we are     
surrounded by all these evils1 and when 
,i think of what man has suffered1 ,i do
 not wonder if ,god can forgive man1 but
 ,i often ask myself1 ,can man forgive  
,god8  ,there is another thing4  ,some  
of these ministers have talked about me1
 and have made it their business to say 
unpleasant things4  ,among others the   
,rev4 ,mr4 ,talmage1 of ,brooklyn--a man
 of not much imagination1 but of most   
excellent judgment--charges that ,i am a
 blasphemer4  ,a frightful charge6      
,terrible1 if true6  ,what is blasphemy8
  ,it is a sin1 as ,i understand1       
against ,god4  ,is ,god infinite8  ,he  
is1 so they say2 ,he is infinite2       
absolutely conditionless8  ,can ,i      
injure the conditionless8 ,no4 ,can ,i  
sin against anything that ,i cannot     
injure8 ,no4  ,that is a perfectly plain
 proposition4  ,i can injure my         

fellow-man1 because he is a conditioned 
being1 and ,i can help to change those  
conditions4  ,he must have air2 he must 
have food1 he must have clothing2 he    
must have shelter2 but ,god is          
conditionless1 and ,i cannot by any     
possibility affect ,him4  ,consequently 
,i cannot sin against ,him4  ,but ,i can
 sin against my fellow-man1 so that ,i  
ought to be a thousand times more       
careful of doing injustice than of      
uttering blasphemy4  ,there is no       
blasphemy but injustice1 and there is no
 worship except the practice of justice4
  ,it is a thousand times more important
 that we should love our fellow-men than
 that we should love ,god4  ,it is      
better to love wife and children than to
 love ,jesus ,christ1 ,he is dead2 they 
are alive4  ,i can make their lives     
happy and fill all their hours with the 
fullness of joy4  ,that is my religion2 
and the holiest temple ever erected     
beneath the stars is the home2 the      
holiest altar is the fireside4  ,what is

 this blasphemy8  ,first1 it is a       
geographical question4  ,there was a    
time when it was blasphemy in ,jerusalem
 to say that ,christ was ,god4  ,in this
 country it is now blasphemy to say that
 ,he was not4  ,it is blasphemy in      
,constantinople to deny that ,mahomet   
was the ,prophet of ,god2 it is         
blasphemy here to say that he was4  ,it 
is a geographical question2 you cannot  
tell whether it is blasphemy or not     
without looking at the map4  ,what is   
blasphemy8  ,it is what the mistake says
 about the fact4 ,it is what the last   
year's leaf says about this year's bud4 
,it is the last cry of the defeated     
priest4  ,blasphemy is the little       
breast-work behind which hypocrisy      
hides2 behind which mental impotency    
feels safe4 ,there is no blasphemy but  
the avowal of thought1 and he who speaks
 what he thinks blasphemes4  ,that ,i   
have had the hardihood--it doesn't take 
much--to attack the sacred scriptures4  
,i have simply given my opinion2 and yet

 they tell me that that book is         
holy--that you can take rags1 make pulp1
 put ink on it1 bind it in leather1 and 
make something holy4  ,the ,catholics   
have a man for a pope2 the ,protestants 
have a book4  ,the ,catholics have the  
best of it4  ,if they elect an idiot he 
will not live forever1 and it is        
impossible for us to get rid of the     
barbarisms in our book4 ,the ,catholics 
said1 ,we will not let the common people
 read the bible4 ,that was right4  ,if  
it is necessary to believe it in order  
to get to heaven no man should run the  
risk of reading it4  ,to allow a man to 
read the bible on such conditions is to 
set a trap for his soul4  ,the right way
 is never to open it1 and when you get  
to the day of judgment1 and they ask you
 if you believe it say ,yes1 ,i have    
never read it4 ,the ,protestant gives   
the book to a poor man and says3 ,read  
it4  ,you are at liberty to read it4    
,well1 suppose ,i don't believe it1 when
 ,i get through8 ,then you will be      

damned4 ,no man should be allowed to    
read it on those conditions4  ,and yet  
,protestants have done that infinitely  
cruel thing4  ,if ,i thought it was     
necessary to believe it ,i would say    
never read another line in it but just  
believe it and stick to it4  ,and yet   
these people really think that there is 
something miraculous about the book4    
,they regard it as a fetish--a kind of  
amulet--a something charmed1 that will  
keep off evil spirits1 or bad luck1 stop
 bullets1 and do a thousand handy-things
 for the preservation of life4  ,i heard
 a story upon that subject4  ,you know  
that thousands of them are printed in   
the ,sunday-school books4  ,here is one 
they don't print4 ,there was a poor man 
who had belonged to the church1 but he  
got cold1 and he rather neglected it1   
and he had bad luck in his business1 and
 he went down and down and down until he
 hadn't a dollar--not a thing to eat2   
and his wife said to him1 ,john1 this   
comes of you having abandoned the       

church1 this comes of your having done  
away with family worship4  ,now1 ,i beg 
of you1 let's go back4  ,well1 ,john    
said it wouldn't do any harm to try4    
,so he took down the bible1 blew the    
dust off it1 read a little from a       
chapter1 and had family worship4  ,as he
 was putting it up he opened it again1  
and there was a #aj bill between the    
leaves4  ,he rushed out to the butcher's
 and bought meat1 to the grocer's and   
bought tea and bread1 and butter and    
eggs1 and rushed back home and got them 
cooked1 and the house was filled with   
the perfume of food2 and he sat down at 
the table1 tears in every eye and a     
smile on every face4 ,she said1 ,what   
did ,i tell you8  ,just then there was a
 knock on the door1 and in came a       
constable1 who arrested him for passing 
a #aj counterfeit bill4  ,they tell me  
that ,i ought not to attack the         
bible--that ,i have misrepresented it1  
and among other things that ,i have said
 that1 according to the bible1 the world

 was made of nothing4  ,well1 what was  
it made of8  ,they say ,god created     
everything4  ,consequently1 there must  
have been nothing when ,he commenced4   
,if he didn't make it of nothing1 what  
did he make it of8  ,where there was1   
nothing1 ,he made something4 ,yes2 out  
of what8 ,i don't know4  ,this doctor of
 divinity1 and ,i should think such a   
divinity would need a doctor1 says that 
,god made the universe out of ,his      
omnipotence4  ,why not out of ,his      
omniscience1 or ,his omnipresence8      
,omnipotence is not a raw material4  ,it
 is the something to work raw material  
with4 ,omnipotence is simply all        
powerful1 and what good would strength  
do with nothing8  ,the weakest man ever 
born could lift as much nothing as ,god4
  ,and he could do as much with it after
 he got it lifted4 ,and yet a doctor of 
divinity tells me that this world was   
made of omnipotence4  ,and right here   
let me say ,i find even in the mind of  
the clergymen the seeds of infidelity4  

,he is trying to explain things4  ,that 
is a bad symptom4  ,the greater the     
miracle the greater the reward for      
believing it4  ,god cannot afford to    
reward a man for believing anything     
reasonable4  ,why1 even the scribes and 
,pharisees would believe a reasonable   
thing4  ,do you suppose ,god is to crown
 you with eternal joy and give you a    
musical instrument for believing        
something where the evidence is clear8  
,no1 sir4  ,the larger the miracle the  
more grace4  ,and let me advise the     
ministers of ,chicago and of this       
country1 never to explain a miracle2 it 
cannot be explained4  ,if you succeed in
 explaining it1 the miracle is gone4 ,if
 you fail you are gone4 ,my advice to   
the clergy is1 use assertion2 just say  
it is so1 and the larger the miracle the
 greater the glory reaped by the        
eternal4  ,and yet this man is trying to
 explain1 pretending that ,he had some  
raw material of some kind on hand4  ,and
 then ,i objected to the fact that ,he  

didn't make the sun until the fourth    
day1 and that1 consequently1 the grass  
could not have grown--could not have    
thrown its mantle of green over the     
shoulders of the hill--and that the     
trees would not blossom and cast their  
shade upon the sod without some         
sunshine2 and what does this man say8   
,why1 that the rocks1 when they         
crystallized1 emitted light1 even enough
 to raise a crop by4  ,and he says      
vegetation might have depended on the   
glare of volcanoes in the moon4  ,what  
do you think would be the fate of       
agriculture depending on the glare of   
volcanoes in the moon8 ,then he says the
 aurora borealis4  ,why1 you couldn't   
raise cucumbers by the aurora borealis4 
,and he says liquid rivers of molten    
granite4 ,i would like to have a farm on
 that stream4  ,he guesses everything of
 the kind except lightning-bugs and     
foxfire4  ,now1 think of that           
explanation in the last half of the     
nineteenth century by a minister4 ,the  

truth is1 the gentleman who wrote the   
account knew nothing of astronomy--knew 
as little as the modern preacher        
does--just about the same2 and if they  
don't know more about the next world    
than they do about this1 it is hardly   
worth while talking with them on the    
subject4 ,there was a time1 you know1   
when the minister was the educated man  
in the country1 and when1 if you wanted 
to know anything1 you asked him4 ,now   
you do if you don't4  ,so ,i find this  
man expounding the flood1 and he says it
 was not very wet4  ,he begins to doubt 
whether ,god had water enough to cover  
the whole earth4  ,why not stand by his 
book8  ,he says that some of the animals
 got into the ark to keep out of the    
wet4  ,i believe that is the way the    
,democrats got to the polls last        
,tuesday4  ,another divine says that    
,god would have drowned them all1 but it
 was purely for the sake of economy that
 ,he saved any of them4  ,just think of 
that6  ,according to this ,christian    

religion all the people in the world    
were totally depraved through the fall1 
and ,god found he could not do anything 
with them1 so he drowned them4  ,now1 if
 ,god wanted to get up a flood big      
enough to drown sin1 why did ,he not get
 up a flood big enough to drown the     
snake8  ,that was ,his mistake4  ,now1  
these people say that if ,jonah had     
walked rapidly up and down the whale's  
belly he would have avoided the action  
of its gastric-juice4 ,imagine ,jonah   
sitting in the whale's mouth1 on the    
back of a molar-tooth2 and yet this     
doctor of divinity would have us believe
 that the infinite ,god of the universe 
was sitting under his gourd and made the
 worm that was at the root of ,jonah's  
vine4  ,great business4  ,david is said 
to have been a man after ,god's own     
heart1 and if you will read the         
twenty-eighth chapter of ,chronicles you
 will find that ,david died full of     
years and honors4  ,so ,i find in the   
great book of prophecy1 concerning      

,solomon3 ,he shall reign in peace and  
quietness1 he shall be my son1 and ,i   
shall be his father1 and ,i will        
preserve his ,kingdom4 ,was that true8  
,it won't do4  ,but they say ,god       
couldn't do away with slavery suddenly1 
nor with polygamy all at once--that ,he 
had to do it gradually--that if ,he had 
told this man you mustn't have slaves1  
and one man that he must have one wife1 
and one wife that she must have one     
husband1 ,he would have lost the control
 over them notwithstanding all the      
miraculous power4  ,is it not wonderful 
that when they did all these miracles   
nobody paid any attention to them8      
,isn't it wonderful that1 in ,egypt1    
when they performed these wonders--when 
the waters were turned into blood1 when 
the people were smitten with disease and
 covered with the horrible              
animals--isn't it wonderful that it had 
no influence on them8 ,do you know why  
all these miracles didn't affect the    
,egyptians8  ,they were there at the    

time4  ,isn't it wonderful1 too1 that   
the ,jews who had been brought from     
bondage--had followed a cloud by day and
 a pillar of fire by night--who had been
 miraculously fed1 and for whose benefit
 water had leaked from the rocks and    
followed them up and down hill through  
all their journeying--isn't it          
wonderful1 when they had seen the earth 
open and their companions swallowed1    
when they had seen ,god ,himself write  
in robes of flames from ,sinai's crags1 
when they had seen ,him talking face to 
face with ,moses--isn't it a little     
wonderful that ,he had no more influence
 over them8  ,they were there at the    
time4  ,and that is the reason they     
didn't mind it--they were there4  ,and  
yet1 with all these miracles1 this ,god 
could not prevent polygamy and slavery4 
,was there no room on the two tables of 
stone to put two more commandments8     
,better have written them on the back1  
then4  ,better have left the others all 
off and put these two on4  ,man shall   

not enslave his brother1 7you shall not 
live on unpaid labor71 and the one man  
shall have the one wife4  ,if these two 
had been written and the other ten left 
off1 it would have been a thousand times
 better for this world4  ,but1 they say1
 ,god works gradually4  ,no hurry about 
it4  ,he is not gradual about keeping   
,sunday1 because1 if ,he met a man      
picking up sticks1 ,he killed ,him2 but 
in other things ,he is gradual4         
,suppose we wanted now to break certain 
cannibals of eating missionaries--wanted
 to stop them from eating them raw8  ,of
 course we would not tell them1 in the  
first place1 it was wrong4  ,that would 
not do4 ,we would induce them to cook   
them4  ,that would be the first step    
toward civilization4  ,we would have    
them stew them4  ,we would not say it is
 wrong to eat missionary1 but it is     
wrong to eat missionary raw4  ,then1    
after they began stewing them1 we would 
put in a little mutton--not enough to   
excite suspicion but just a little1 and 

so1 day by day1 we would put in a little
 more mutton and a little less          
missionary until1 in about what the     
bible calls the fullness of time1  we   
would have clear mutton and no          
missionary4  ,that is ,god's way4  ,the 
next great charge against me is that ,i 
have disgraced my parents by expressing 
my honest thoughts4  ,no man can        
disgrace his parents that way4  ,i want 
my children to express their real       
opinions1 whether they agree with mine  
or not4  ,i want my children to find out
 more than ,i have found1 and ,i would  
be gratified to have them discover the  
errors ,i have made4  ,and if my father 
and mother were still alive ,i feel and 
know that ,i am pursuing a course of    
which they would approve4  ,i am true to
 my manhood4  ,but think of it6 ,suppose
 the father of ,dr4 ,talmage had been a 
,methodist and his mother an infidel4   
,then what4  ,would he have to disgrace 
them both to be a ,presbyterian4 ,the   
disciples of ,christ1 according to this 

doctrine1 disgraced their parents4  ,the
 founder of every new religion1         
according to this doctrine1 was a       
disgrace to his father and mother4  ,now
 there must have been a time when a     
,talmage was not a ,presbyterian1 and   
the one that left something else to join
 that church disgraced his father and   
mother4  ,why1 if this doctrine be true 
why do you send missionaries to other   
lands and ask those people to disgrace  
their parents8  ,if this doctrine be    
true nobody has religious liberty except
 foundlings1 and it should be written   
over every ,foundling ,hospital3 ,home  
for ,religious ,liberty4  ,it won't do4 
,what is the next thing ,i have said8   
,i have taken the ground1 and ,i take it
 again today1 that the bible has only   
words of humiliation for woman4 ,the    
bible treats woman as the slave1 the    
serf of man1 and wherever that book is  
believed in thoroughly woman is a slave4
 ,it is the infidelity in the church    
that gives her what liberty she has     

today4 ,oh6  but1 says the gentleman1   
think of the heroines in the bible4     
,how could a book be opposed to woman   
which has pictured such heroines8 ,well1
 that is a good argument4  ,let's answer
 it4 ,who are the heroines8 ,he tells   
us4  ,the first is ,esther4  ,who was   
she8  ,esther is a very peculiar book1  
and the story is about this3 ,ahasaerus 
was a king4  ,his wife's name was       
,vashti4 ,she didn't please him4  ,he   
divorced her1 and advertised for        
another4  ,a gentleman by the name of   
,mordecai had a good looking niece1 and 
he took her to market4  ,her name was   
,esther4  ,i don't feel like reading the
 whole of the second chapter4  ,it is   
sufficient to say she was selected4     
,after a time there was a gentleman by  
the name of ,haman who1 ,i should think1
 was in the cabinet1 according to the   
story4  ,and this man ,mordecai began to
 put on considerable style because his  
niece was the king's wife1 and he would 
not bow1 or he would not rise1 or he    

would not meet this gentleman with marks
 of distinguished consideration1 so he  
made up his mind to have him hung4 ,then
 they got out an order to kill the      
,jews1 and this ,esther went to see the 
king4  ,in those days they believed in  
the ,bismarkian style of government--all
 power came from the king1 not from the 
people2 if anybody went to see this king
 without an invitation1 and he failed to
 hold out his sceptre to him1 the person
 was killed just to preserve the dignity
 of the monarch4 ,when ,esther arrived  
he held out the sceptre1 and there-upon 
she induced him to send out another     
order for the fellows who were to kill  
the ,jews1 and they killed #ge1jjj or   
#hj1jjj of them4  ,and they came back   
and said1 ,kill ,haman and his ten sons1
 and they hung the family up4  ,that is 
all there is to the story4  ,and yet    
this ,esther is held up as a model of   
womanly grace and tenderness1 and there 
is not a more infamous story in the     
literature of the world4  ,the next     

heroine is ,ruth4  ,i admit1 that is a  
very pretty story4  ,but ,ruth was      
guilty of more things that would be     
deemed indiscreet than any girl in      
,brooklyn4  ,that is all there is about 
,ruth4  ,the next heroine is ,hannah4   
,and what do you suppose was the matter 
with her8 ,she made a coat for her boy2 
that's all4  ,i have known a woman make 
a whole suit6 ,the next heroine was     
,abigail4  ,she was the wife of ,natal4 
,king ,david had a few soldiers with    
him1 and he called at the house of      
,natal1 and asked if he could not get   
food for his men4 ,abigail went down to 
give him something to eat1 and she was  
very much struck with ,david1 ,david    
evidently fancied her4  ,natal died     
within a week4  ,i think he was         
poisoned4  ,david and ,abigail were     
married4  ,if that had happened in      
,chicago there would have been a        
coroner's jury1 and an inquest2 but that
 is all there was to that4  ,the next is
 ,dorcas4  ,she was in the new          

testament4  ,she was real good to the   
ministers4  ,those ladies have always   
stood well with the church4 ,she was    
real good to the poor4  ,she died one   
day1 and you never hear of her again4   
,then there was that person that was    
raised from the dead4  ,i would like to 
know from a person that had recently    
been raised from the dead1 where he was 
when he was wanted1 what he was         
traveling about1 and what he was engaged
 in4  ,i cannot imagine a more          
interesting person than one that has    
just been raised from the dead4         
,lazarus comes from the tomb1 and ,i    
think sometimes that there must be a    
mistake about it1 because when they come
 to die again thousands of people would 
say1 ,why1 he knows all about it6       
,would it not be noted if a man had two 
funerals8  ,now1 then1 these are all the
 heroines1 to show you how little they  
thought of woman in that day4  ,in the  
days of the old testament they did not  
even tell us when the mother of us all  

7,eve7 died1 nor where she is buried1   
nor anything about it4  ,they do not    
even tell us where the mother of ,christ
 sleeps1 nor when she died4  ,never is  
she spoken of after the morning of the  
resurrection4  ,he who descended from   
the cross went not to see her2 and the  
son had no word for the broken-hearted  
mother4  ,the story is not true4  ,i    
believe ,christ was a great and good    
man1 but ,he had nothing about ,him     
miraculous except the courage to tell   
what he thought about the religion of   
,his day4  ,the new testament1 in       
relating what occurred between ,christ  
and his mother1 mentions three          
instances2 once1 when they thought ,he  
had been lost in ,jerusalem1 when ,he   
said to them1 ,wist ye not that ,i must 
be about my ,father's business8  ,next1 
at the marriage of ,cana1 when ,he said 
to the woman1 ,what have ,i to do with  
thee8--words which ,he never said2 and  
again from the cross1 ,mother1 behold   
,thy ,son2  and to the disciple1 ,behold

 thy ,mother6 ,so of ,mary ,magdalene4  
,in some respects there is no character 
in the new testament that so appeals to 
us as loving ,christ--first at the      
sepulchre--and yet when ,he meets her   
after the resurrection ,he had for her  
the comfort only of the chilling words1 
,touch me not6   ,i don't believe it4   
,there were thousands of heroic women   
then4  ,there are heroic women now4     
,think of the women who cling to fallen 
and disgraced husbands day by day1 until
 they reach the gutter1 and who stoop   
down to lift them from that position1   
and raise them up to be men once more6  
,every country is civilized in          
proportion as it honors woman4  ,there  
are women in ,england working in mines1 
deformed by labor1 that would become    
wild beasts were it not for the love    
they bear for home4  ,can you find among
 the women of the new testament any     
women that can equal the women born of  
,shakespeare's brain8  ,you can find no 
woman like ,isabella1 where reason and  

purity blend into perfect truth2 no     
woman like ,juliet1 where passion and   
purity meet like red and white within   
the bosom of a flower2 no woman like    
,imogen1 who said1 ,what is it to be    
false8 ,no woman like ,cordelia1 that   
would not show her wealth of love in    
hope of gain2 nor like ,hermione1 who   
bore the cross of shame for years2 nor  
like ,miranda1 who told her love as the 
flower exposes its bosom to the sun2 nor
 like ,desdemona1 who was so pure that  
she could not suspect that another could
 suspect her of a crime4  ,and we are   
told that woman sinned first and man    
second2 that man was made first and     
woman not till afterwards4  ,the idea is
 that we could have gotten along without
 the woman well enough1 but they never  
could have gotten along without us4  ,i 
tell you that love is better than piety1
 love is better than all the ceremonial 
worship of the world1 and it is better  
to love something than to believe       
anything on this globe4 ,so this        

minister1 seeking a mark to throw an    
arrow somewhere--trying to find some    
little place in the armor--charges me   
with having disparaged ,queen ,victoria4
  ,that you know is next to blasphemy4  
,well1 ,i never did anything of the     
kind--never said a word against her in  
in life1 neither as wife1 or mother1 or 
,queen--never doubted but that she is a 
good woman enough1 and ,i have always   
admitted that her reputation was good in
 the neighborhood where she resides4  ,i
 never had any other opinion4 ,all ,i   
said in the world was--,i was           
endeavoring to show that we are now to  
have an aristocracy of brain and        
heart--that is all--and ,i said1        
'speaking of ,louis ,napoleon1 he was   
not satisfied with simply being an      
emperor and having a little crown on his
 head1 but wanted to prove that he had  
something in his head1 so he wrote the  
life of ,julius ,caesar1 and that made  
him a member of the ,french ,academy2   
and speaking of ,king ,william1 upon    

whose head is the divine petroleum of   
authority1 ,i asked how he would like to
 exchange brains with ,haeckel1 the     
philosopher4 ,then ,i went over to      
,england1 and said ,queen ,victoria     
wears the garment of power given her by 
blind fortune1 by eyeless chance2       
',george ,eliot' is arrayed in robes of 
glory1 woven in the loom of her own     
genius4 ,thereupon ,i am charged with   
disparaging a woman4  ,and this priest1 
in order to get even with me1 digs open 
the grave of ,george ,eliot and         
endeavors to stain her unresisting dust4
  ,he calls her an adulteress--the      
vilest word in the languages of men--and
 he does it because she hated the       
,presbyterian creed1 because she1       
according to his definition1 was an     
atheist1 because she lived without faith
 and died without fear1 because she     
grandly bore the taunts and slanders of 
the ,christian world4 ,george ,eliot    
carried tenderly in her heart the faults
 and frailties of her race4 ,she saw the

 highway of eternal right through all   
the winding paths1 where folly vainly   
stalks with thorn-pierced hands1 the    
fading flowers of selfish joy2 and      
whatever you may think or ,i may think  
of the one mistake in all her sad and   
loving life1 ,i know and feel that in   
the court where her conscience sat as   
judge she stood acquitted1 pure as light
 and stainless as a star4 ,george ,eliot
 has joined the choir invisible whose   
music is the gladness of this world1 and
 her wondrous lines1 her touching poems1
 will be read hundreds of years after   
every sermon in which a priest has      
sought to stain her name shall have     
vanished utterly from human speech4 ,how
 appropriate here1 with some slight     
change1 the words of ,laertes at        
,ophelia's grave3  ,lay her in the      
earth2 ,and from her fair and unpolluted
 flesh ,may violets spring2 ,i tell     
thee1 priest and minister1 ,a           
ministering angel shall this woman be   
,when thou liest howling4  ,i have no   

words with which to express my loathing 
hatred and condemnation of the man who  
will stain a noble woman's grave4  ,the 
next argument in favor of the sacred    
scriptures is the argument of numbers2  
and this minister congratulates himself 
that the infidels could not carry a     
precinct1 or a county1 or a state in the
 ,united ,states4  ,well1 ,i tell you1  
they can come proportionately near      
it--just in proportion that that part of
 the country is educated4 ,the whole    
world doesn't move together in one life4
  ,there has to be some man to take a   
step forward and the people follow2 and 
when they get where that man was1 some  
other ,titan has taken another step1 and
 you can see him there on the great     
mountain of progress4  ,that is why the 
world moves4 ,there must be pioneers1   
and if nobody is right except he who is 
with the majority1 then we must turn and
 walk toward the setting sun4  ,he says 
,we will settle this by suffrage4  ,the 
,christian religion was submitted to a  

popular vote in ,jerusalem1 and what was
 the result8 ,crucify ,him --an infamous
 result1 showing that you can't depend  
on the vote of barbarians4  ,but ,i am  
told that there are #cjj1jjj1jjj        
,christians in the world4  ,well1 what  
of it8 ,there are more ,buddhists4 ,and 
they say1 what a number of bibles are   
printed6--more bibles than any other    
book4  ,does this prove anything8       
,true1 because more of them4 ,suppose   
you should find published in the ,new   
,york ,herald something about you1 and  
you should go to the editor and tell    
him3 ,that is a lie2  and he should say3
 ,that can't be2 the ,herald has the    
largest circulation of any paper in the 
world4  ,three hundred millions of      
,christians1 and here are the nations   
that prove the truth of ,christianity3  
,russia #hj1jjj1jjj ,christians4  ,i am 
willing to admit it2 a country without  
freedom of speech1 without freedom of   
press--a country in which every mouth is
 a ,bastille and every tongue a prisoner

 for life--a country in which assassins 
are the best men in it4  ,they call that
 ,christian4 ,girls sixteen years of    
age1 for having spoken in favor of human
 liberty1 are now working in ,siberian  
mines4  ,that is a ,christian country4  
,only a little while ago a man shot at  
the emperor twice4 ,the emperor was     
protected by his armor4  ,the man was   
convicted1 and they asked him if he     
wished religious consolation4  ,no4  ,do
 you believe in a ,god8  ,no2 if there  
was a ,god there would be no ,russia4   
,sixteen millions of ,christians in     
,spain--,spain that never touched a     
shore except as a robber--,spain that   
took the gold and silver of the new     
world and used it as an engine of       
oppression in the old--a country in     
which cruelty was worship1 in which     
murder was prayer--a country where      
flourished the ,inquisition--,i admit   
,spain is a ,christian country4 ,if you 
don't believe it ,i do4  ,read the      
history of ,holland1 read the history of

 ,south ,america1 read the history of   
,mexico--a chapter of cruelty beyond the
 power of language to express4  ,i admit
 that ,spain is orthodox4  ,if you will 
go there you will find the man who robs 
you and asks ,god to forgive you--a     
country where infidelity hasn't made    
much headway1 but1 thank ,god1 where    
there is even yet a dawn1 where there   
are such men as ,castelar and others1   
who begin to see that one schoolhouse is
 equal to three cathedrals and one      
teacher worth all the priests4  ,italy  
is another ,christian nation1 with      
#bh1jjj1jjj ,christians4  ,in ,italy    
lives the only authorized agent of ,god1
 the pope4  ,for hundreds of years      
,italy was the beggar of the earth1 and 
held out both hands4 ,gold and silver   
flowed from every land into her palms1  
and she became covered with nunneries1  
monasteries1 and the pilgrims of the    
world4 ,italy was sacred dust4  ,her    
soil was a perpetual blessing1 her sky  
was an eternal smile4  ,italy was guilty

 not simply of the death of the         
,catholic church1 but ,italy was dead   
and buried and would have been in her   
grave still had it not been for         
,mazzini1 ,garibaldi1 and ,cavour4 ,when
 the prophecy of ,garibaldi shall be    
fulfilled1 when the priests1 with spades
 in their hands1 shall dig ditches to   
drain the ,pontine marshes1 when the    
monasteries shall be factories1 when the
 whirling wheels of industry shall drown
 the drowsy and hypocritical prayers1   
then and not till then1 will ,italy be  
great and free4  ,italy is the only     
instance in our history and in the      
history of the world1 so far as we know1
 of the resurrection of a nation4  ,she 
is the first fruits of them that sleep4 
,portugal is another ,christian country4
  ,she made her living in the slave     
trade for centuries4  ,i admit that all 
the blessings that that country enjoyed 
flowed naturally from ,catholicism1 and 
we believe in the same scriptures4  ,if 
you don't believe it1 read the history  

of the persecution of the ,jewish       
people4  ,i admit that ,germany is a    
,christian nation2 that is1 ,christians 
are in power4  ,when the bill was       
introduced for the purpose of           
ameliorating the condition of the ,jews1
 ,bismark spoke against it1 and said    
,germany is a ,christian nation1 and    
therefore1 we cannot pass the bill4     
,austria is another ,christian nation4  
,if you don't believe it1 read the      
history of ,hungary1 and1 if you still  
have doubts1 read the history of the    
partition of ,poland4 ,but there is one 
good thing in that country4 ,they       
believe in education1 and education is  
the enemy of ecclesiasticism4  ,every   
thoroughly educated man is his own      
church1 and his own pope1 and his own   
priest4  ,they tell me that the ,united 
,states--our country--is ,christian4  ,i
 deny it4  ,it is neither ,christian nor
 pagan2 it is human4  ,our fathers      
retired all the gods from politics4     
,our fathers laid down the doctrine that

 the right to govern comes from the     
consent of the governed1 and not from   
the clouds4  ,our fathers knew that if  
they put an infinite ,god in the        
,constitution there would be no room    
left for the people4  ,our fathers used 
the language of ,lincoln1 and they made 
a government for the people by the      
people4  ,this is not a ,christian      
country4  ,some gentleman said1 ,how    
about ,delaware8  ,i told him there was 
a man in ,washington some twenty or     
thirty years ago who came there and said
 he was a ,revolutionary soldier and    
wanted a pension4  ,he was so bent and  
bowed over that the wind blew his       
shoestrings into his eyes4  ,they asked 
him how old he was1 and he said fifty   
years4 ,why1 good man1 you can't get a  
pension1 because the war was over before
 you were born4 ,you mustn't fool us4   
,well1 said he1 ,i'll tell you the      
truth3 ,i lived sixty years in          
,delaware1 but ,i never count it1 and   
hope ,god won't4  ,and these ,christian 

nations which have been brought forward 
as the witnesses of the truth of the    
scriptures owe #be1jjj1jjj1jjj1 which   
represents ,christian war1 ,christian   
cannon1 ,christian shot1 and ,christian 
shell4 ,the sum is so great that the    
imagination is dazed in its             
contemplation4 ,that is the result of   
loving your neighbor as yourself4  ,the 
next great argument brought forward by  
these gentlemen is the persecution of   
the ,jews4  ,we are told in the         
nineteenth century that ,god has the    
,jews persecuted simply for the purpose 
of establishing the authenticity of the 
scriptures1 and every ,jewish home      
burned in ,russia throws light on the   
gospel1 and every violated ,jewish      
maiden is another evidence that ,god    
still takes an interest in the holy     
scriptures4  ,that is their doctrine4   
,they are fulfilling prophecy4 ,the     
,christian grasps the ,jew1 strips him1 
robs him1 makes him an outcast1 and then
 points to him as a fulfillment of      

prophecy2 and we are today laying the   
foundation of future persecution--we are
 teaching our children the monstrous    
falsehood that ,jews crucified ,god1 and
 the nation consented4 ,they crucified a
 good man4  ,what nation has not8  ,what
 race has not8 ,think of the number     
killed by the ,presbyterians2 by the    
,catholics4 ,every sect1 with maybe two 
or three exceptions1 have crucified     
their fellows1 and every race has burned
 its greatest and its best4  ,and yet we
 are filling the minds of children with 
hatred of the ,jewish people4 ,it is a  
poor business4  ,ah8 but they say1 these
 people are cursed by ,god4 ,i say they 
never had any good fortune until the    
,jehovah of the bible deserted them4    
,whenever they have had a reasonable    
chance they have been the most          
prosperous people in the world4  ,i     
never saw one begging4 ,i never saw one 
in the criminal dock4  ,for hundreds of 
years they were not allowed to own any  
land1 for hundreds of years they were   

not allowed to work at any trade2 they  
were driven simply to dealing in money1 
and in precious stones1 and things of   
that character1 and1 by a kind of poetic
 justice1 they have today the control of
 the money of the world4  ,i am glad to 
see that kings and emperors go to the   
offices of the ,jews1 with their hats in
 their hands1 to have their notes       
discounted4  ,and yet ,i am told by     
clergymen that all this infamy has been 
kept up simply to establish the truth of
 the gospel4 ,i despise such doctrine4  
,as long as the liberty of one ,jew is  
unsafe1 my liberty is not secure4       
,liberty for all1 and not until then    
will the liberty of any be assured4     
,ah2 but says this man1 nobody ever died
 cheerfully for a lie4  ,the ,jewish    
people have suffered persecution for    
#a1fjj years1 and they have suffered it 
cheerfully4 ,if this doctrine is true1  
then ,judaism must be true and          
,christianity must be false4  ,but      
martyrdom doesn't prove the truth if the

 martyr knows it4  ,it simply proves the
 barbarity of his persecutors1 and has  
no sincerity4 ,that is all it proves4   
,but you must remember that this        
gentleman who believes in this doctrine 
is a ,presbyterian1 and why should a    
,presbyterian object8 ,after a few      
hundred years of burning he expects to  
enjoy the eternal auto da fe of hell--an
 auto da fe that will be presided over  
by ,god and ,his angels1 and they will  
be expected to applaud4  ,he is a       
,presbyterian2 and what is that8  ,it is
 the worst religion of this earth4  ,i  
admit that thousands and millions of    
,presbyterians are good people1 no man  
ever being half so bad as his creed4  ,i
 am not attacking them4  ,i am attacking
 their creed4  ,i am attacking what this
 religion calls ,tidings of great joy4  
,and1 according to that1 hundreds of    
billions and billions of years ago our  
fate was irrevocably and forever fixed1 
and ,god in the secret counsels of ,his 
own inscrutable will1 made up ,his mind 

whom ,he would save and whom ,he would  
damn4  ,when thinking of that ,god ,i   
always think of the mistake of a        
,methodist preacher during the war4  ,he
 commenced the prayer--and never did one
 more appropriate for the ,presbyterian 
,god or the ,methodist go up--,o1 ,thou 
great and unscrupulous ,god4 ,this      
,presbyterian believes that billions of 
years before that baby in the           
cradle--that little dimpled child1      
basking in the light of a mother's      
smile--was born1 ,god had made up ,his  
mind to damn it2 and when ,talmage looks
 at one of those children who will      
probably be damned he is cheerful about 
it2 he enjoys it4  ,that is             
,presbyterianism--that ,god made man and
 damned him for ,his own glory4 ,if     
there is such a ,god1 ,i hate ,him with 
every drop of my blood2 and if there is 
a heaven it must be where ,he is not4   
,now think of that doctrine6  ,only a   
little while ago there was a ship from  
,liverpool out eighty days with its     

rudder washed away2 for ten days nothing
 to eat--nothing but the bare decks and 
hunger2 and the captain took a revolver 
in his hand and put it to his brain and 
said3 ,some of us must die for the      
others4  ,and it might as well be ,i4   
,one of his companions grasped the      
pistol and said3 ,captain1 wait2 wait   
one day more4  ,we can live another day4
  ,and the next morning the horizon was 
rich with a sail1 and they were saved4  
,and yet if ,presbyterianism is true2 if
 that man had put the bullet through his
 infinitely generous brain so that his  
comrades could have eaten of his flesh  
and reached their homes and felt about  
their necks the dimpled arms of children
 and the kisses of wives upon their     
lips--if ,presbyterianism be true1 ,god 
had a constable ready there to clutch   
that soul and thrust it down to eternal 
hell4 ,tidings of great joy4  ,and yet  
this is religion4  ,why1 if that        
doctrine be true1 every soldier in the  
,revolutionary ,war who died not a      

,christian has been damned2 every one in
 the ,war of #ahab1 who kept our flag   
upon the sea1 if he died not a          
,christian has been damned2 and every   
one in the ,civil ,war who fought to    
keep our flag in heaven1 not a          
,christian1 and the ones who died in    
,andersonville and ,libby1 not          
,christians1 are now in the prison of   
,god1 where the famine of ,andersonville
 and ,libby would be regarded as a joy4 
,orthodox ,christianity6  ,why1 we have 
an account in the bible--it comes from  
the other world--from both              
countries--from heaven and from         
hell--let us see what it is4  ,here is a
 rich man who dies4  ,the only fault    
about him was1 he was rich2 no other    
crime was charged against him4  ,we are 
told that the rich man died1 and when he
 lifted up his eyes he found no         
sympathy1 yet even in hell he remembered
 his five brethren1 and prayed that some
 one should be sent to them so that they
 should not come there4  ,i tell you ,i 

had rather be in hell with human        
sympathy than in heaven without it4     
,the bible is not inspired1 and         
ministers know nothing about another    
world4  ,they don't know4  ,i am        
satisfied there is no world of eternal  
pain4  ,if there is a world of joy1 so  
much the better4  ,i have never put out 
the faintest star of human hope that    
ever trembled in the night of life4     
,there was a time when ,i was not2 after
 that ,i was2 now ,i am4 ,and it is just
 as probable that ,i will live again as 
it was that ,i could have lived before  
,i did4  ,let it go4  ,ah6 but what will
 life be8 ,the world will be here4  ,men
 and women will be here4 ,the page of   
history will be open4  ,the walls of the
 world will be adorned with art1 the    
niches with sculpture2 music will be    
here1 and all there is of life and joy4 
,and there will be homes here1 and the  
fireside1 and there will be a common    
hope without a common fear4 ,love will  
be here1 and love is the only bow on    

life's dark cloud4 ,love was the first  
to dream of immortality4  ,love is the  
morning and evening star4  ,it shines   
upon the child2 it sheds its radiance   
upon the peaceful tomb4  ,love is the   
mother of beauty--the mother of melody1 
for music is its voice4  ,love is the   
builder of every hope1 the kindler of   
every fire on every hearth4 ,love is the
 enchanter1 the magician that changes   
worthless things to joy1 and makes right
 royal kings and queens out of common   
clay4  ,love is the perfume of that     
wondrous flower the heart4  ,without    
that divine passion1 without that divine
 sway1 we are less than beasts1 and with
 it earth is heaven and we are gods4    
,,ingersoll',s ,,oration ,,at ,a        
,,child',s ,,grave4    ,in a remote     
corner of the ,congressional ,cemetery  
at ,washington1 a small group of people 
with uncovered heads were ranged around 
a newly-opened grave4  ,they included   
,detective and ,mrs4 ,george ,o4 ,miller
 and family and friends1 who had        

gathered to witness the burial of the   
former's bright little son ,harry4  ,as 
the casket rested upon the trestles     
there was a painful pause1 broken only  
by the mother's sobs1 until the         
undertaker advanced toward a stout1     
florid-complexioned gentleman in the    
party and whispered to him1 the words   
being inaudible to the lookers-on4      
,this gentleman was ,col4 ,robert ,g4   
,ingersoll1 a friend of the ,millers1   
who had attended the funeral--at their  
request4  ,he shook his head when the   
undertaker first addressed him1 and then
 said suddenly1 ,does ,mrs4 ,miller     
desire it8 ,the undertaker gave an      
affirmative nod4  ,mr4 ,miller looked   
appealingly toward the distinguished    
orator1 and then ,colonel ,ingersoll    
advanced to the side of the grave1 made 
a motion denoting a desire for silence1 
and1 in a voice of exquisite cadence1   
delivered one of his characteristic     
eulogies for the dead4  ,the scene was  
intensely dramatic4  ,a fine drizzling  

rain was falling1 and every head was    
bent1 and every ear turned to catch the 
impassioned words of eloquence and hope 
that fell from the lips of the famed    
orator4 ,colonel ,ingersoll was         
unprotected by either hat or umbrella4  
,his invocation thrilled his hearers    
with awe1 each eye that had previously  
been bedimmed with tears brightening1   
and sobs becoming hushed4  ,the colonel 
said3   ,my ,friends3 ,i know how vain  
it is to gild a grief with words1 and   
yet ,i wish to take from every grave its
 fear4  ,here in this world1 where life 
and death are equal kings1 all should be
 brave enough to meet what all have met4
  ,the future has been filled with fear1
 stained and polluted by the heartless  
past4  ,from the wondrous tree of life  
the buds and blossoms fall with ripened 
fruit1 and in the common bed of earth   
patriarchs and babes sleep side by side4
 ,why should we fear that which will    
come to all that is8  ,we cannot tell4  
,we do not know which is the greatest   

blessing1 life or death4 ,we cannot say 
that death is not good4 ,we do not know 
whether the grave is the end of this    
life or the door of another1 or whether 
the night here is not somewhere else a  
dawn4 ,neither can we tell which is the 
more fortunate1 the child dying in its  
mother's arms before its lips have      
learned to form a word1 or he who       
journeys all the length of life's uneven
 road1 painfully taking the last slow   
steps with staff and crutch4  ,every    
cradle asks us ,whence8 and every coffin
 ,whither8  ,the poor barbarian weeping 
above his dead can answer the question  
as intelligently and satisfactorily as  
the robed priest of the most authentic  
creed4  ,the tearful ignorance of the   
one is just as consoling as the learned 
and unmeaning words of the other4  ,no  
man standing where the horizon of a life
 has touched a grave has any right to   
prophesy a future filled with pain and  
tears4 ,it may be that death gives all  
there is of worth to life4  ,if those   

who press and strain against our hearts 
could never die1 perhaps that love would
 wither from the earth4  ,maybe a common
 faith treads from out the paths between
 our hearts the weeds of selfishness1   
and ,i should rather live and love where
 death is king than have eternal life   
where love is not4 ,another life is     
naught1 unless we know and love again   
the ones who love us here4  ,they who   
stand with breaking hearts around this  
little grave need have no fear4  ,the   
largest and the nobler faith in all that
 is1 and is to be1 tells us that death1 
even at its worst1 is only perfect rest4
  ,we know that through the common wants
 of life1 the needs and duties of each  
hour1 their grief will lessen day by day
 until at last these graves will be to  
them a place of rest and peace--almost  
of joy4  ,there is for them this        
consolation3 ,the dead do not suffer4   
,if they live again their lives will    
surely be as good as ours4  ,we have no 
fear2 we are all children of the same   

mother and the same fate awaits us all4 
,we1 too1 have our religion1 and it is  
this3 ,help for the living1 hope for the
 dead4      ,,ingersoll ,,at ,,his      
,,brother',s ,,grave4--,a ,most         
,exquisite1 ,yet ,one ,of ,the ,most    
,sad ,and ,mournful ,sermons   ,the     
funeral of ,hon4 ,ebon ,c4 ,ingersoll1  
brother of ,col4 ,robert ,g4 ,ingersoll1
 of ,illinois1 took place at his        
residence in ,washington1 ,d4,c41 ,june 
#b1 #ahgi4  ,the ceremonies were        
extremely simple1 consisting merely of  
viewing the remains by relatives and    
friends1 and a funeral oration by ,col4 
,robert ,g4 ,ingersoll1 brother of the  
deceased4  ,a large number of           
distinguished gentlemen were present1   
including ,secretary ,sherman1          
,assistant ,secretary ,hawley1 ,senators
 ,blaine1 ,vorhees1 ,paddock1 ,allison1 
,logan1 ,hon4 ,thomas ,henderson1 ,gov4 
,pound1 ,hon4 ,wm4 ,m4 ,morrison1 ,gen4 
,jeffreys1 ,gen4 ,williams1 ,col4 ,james
 ,fishback1 and others4  ,the           

pall-bearers were ,senators ,blaine1    
,vorhees1 ,david ,davis1 ,paddock and   
,allison1 ,col4 ,ward1 ,h4 ,lamon1 ,hon4
 ,jeremiah ,wilson of ,indiana1 and     
,hon4 ,thomas ,a4 ,boyd of ,illinois4   
,soon after ,mr4 ,ingersoll began to    
read his eloquent characterization of   
the dead1 his eyes filled with tears4   
,he tried to hide them behind his       
eye-glasses1 but he could not do it1 and
 finally he bowed his head upon the dead
 man's coffin in uncontrollable grief4  
,it was after some delay and the        
greatest efforts of self-mastery1 that  
,col4 ,ingersoll was able to finish     
reading his address1 which was as       
follows3   ,my ,friends3 ,i am going to 
do that which the dead often promised he
 would do for me4  ,the loved and loving
 brother1 husband1 father1 friend1 died 
where manhood's morning almost touches  
noon1 and while the shadows still were  
falling toward the west4  ,he had not   
passed on life's highway the stone that 
marks the highest point1 but being weary

 for a moment he lay down by the        
wayside1 and1 using his burden for a    
pillow1 fell into that dreamless sleep  
that kisses down his eyelids still4     
,while yet in love with life and        
raptured with the world1 he passed to   
silence and pathetic dust4  ,yet1 after 
all1 it may be best1 just in the        
happiest1 sunniest hour of all the      
voyage1 while eager winds are kissing   
every sail1 to dash against the unseen  
rock1 and in an instant hear the billows
 roar over a sunken ship4 ,for1 whether 
in mid-sea or among the breakers of the 
farther shore1 a wreck must mark at last
 the end of each and all4  ,and every   
life1 no matter if its every hour is    
rich with love1 and every moment jeweled
 with a joy1 will1 at its close1 become 
a tragedy1 as sad1 and deep1 and dark as
 can be woven of the warp and woof of   
mystery and death4  ,this brave and     
tender man in every storm of life was   
oak and rock1 but in the sunshine he was
 vine and flower4  ,he was the friend of

 all heroic souls4  ,he climbed the     
heights and left all superstitions far  
below1 while on his forehead fell the   
golden dawning of a grander day4  ,he   
loved the beautiful and was with color1 
form and music touched to tears4  ,he   
sided with the weak1 and with a willing 
hand gave alms2 with loyal heart and    
with the purest hand he faithful        
discharged all public trusts4  ,he was a
 worshiper of liberty and a friend of   
the oppressed4 ,a thousand times ,i have
 heard him quote the words3 ,for justice
 all place a temple and all season      
summer4  ,he believed that happiness was
 the only good1 reason the only torch1  
justice the only worshiper1 humanity the
 only religion1 and love the priest4    
,he added to the sum of human joy1 and  
were every one for whom he did some     
loving service to bring a blossom to his
 grave he would sleep tonight beneath a 
wilderness of flowers4  ,life is a      
narrow vale between the cold and barren 
peaks of two eternities4  ,we strive in 

vain to look beyond the heights4  ,we   
cry aloud1 and the only answer is the   
echo of our wailing cry4  ,from the     
voiceless lips of the unreplying dead   
there comes no word2 but in the night of
 death hope sees a star and listening   
love can hear the rustle of a wing4 ,he 
who sleeps here1 when dying1 mistaking  
the approach of death for the return of 
health1 whispered with his latest       
breath1 ,i am better now4  ,let us      
believe1 in spite of doubts and dogmas  
and tears and fears that these dear     
words are true of all the countless     
dead4  ,and now1 to you who have been   
chosen from among the many men he loved 
to do the last sad office1 for the dead1
 we give his sacred dust4  ,speech can  
not contain our love4  ,there was--there
 is--no gentler1 stronger1 manlier man4 
,,ingersoll',s ,,lecture ,,on ,,the     
,,mistakes ,,of ,,moses4   ,now and then
 some one asks me why ,i am endeavoring 
to interfere with the religious faith of
 others1 and why ,i try to take from the

 world the consolation naturally arising
 from a belief in eternal fire4 ,and ,i 
answer1 ,i want to do what little ,i can
 to make my country truly free4 ,i want 
to broaden the intellectual horizon of  
our people4  ,i want it so that we can  
differ upon all those questions1 and yet
 grasp each other's hands in genuine    
friendship4  ,i want in the first place 
to free the clergy4  ,i am a great      
friend of theirs1 but they don't seem to
 have found it out generally4  ,i want  
it so that every minister will be not a 
parrot1 not an owl sitting upon the limb
 of the tree of knowledge and hooting   
the hoots that have been hooted for     
eighteen hundred years4 ,but ,i want it 
so that each one can be an investigator1
 a thinker2 and ,i want to make his     
congregation grand enough so that they  
will not only allow him to think1 but   
will demand that he shall think1 and    
give to them the honest truth of his    
thought4  ,as it is now1 ministers are  
employed like attorneys--for the        

plaintiff or the defendant4  ,if a few  
people know of a young man in the       
neighborhood maybe who has not a good   
constitution1--he may not be healthy    
enough to be wicked--a young man who has
 shown no decided talent--it occurs to  
them to make him a minister4  ,they     
contribute and send him to some school4 
,if it turns out that that young man has
 more of the man in him than they       
thought1 and he changes his opinion1    
everyone who contributed will feel      
himself individually swindled--and they 
will follow that young man to the grave 
with the poisoned shafts of malice and  
slander4  ,i want it so that every one  
will be free--so that a pulpit will not 
be a pillory4  ,they have in            
,massachusetts1 at a place called       
,andover1 a kind of minister factory2   
and every professor in that factory     
takes an oath once in every five        
years--that is as long as an oath will  
last--that not only has he not during   
the last five years1 but so help him    

,god1 he will not during the next five  
years intellectually advance2 and       
probably there is no oath he could      
easier keep4  ,since the foundation of  
that institution there has not been one 
case of perjury4  ,they believe the same
 creed they first taught when the       
foundation stone was laid1 and now when 
they send out a minister they brand him 
as hardware from ,sheffield and         
,birmingham4 ,and every man who knows   
where he was educated knows his creed1  
knows every argument of his creed1 every
 book that he reads1 and just what he   
amounts to intellectually1 and knows he 
will shrink and shrivel1 and become     
solemnly stupid day after day until he  
meets with death4  ,it is all wrong2 it 
is cruel4  ,those men should be allowed 
to grow4  ,they should have the air of  
liberty and the sunshine of thought4  ,i
 want to free the schools of our        
country4 ,i want it so that when a      
professor in a college finds some fact  
inconsistent with ,moses1 he will not   

hide the fact4  ,i wish to see an       
eternal divorce and separation between  
church and schools4  ,the common school 
is the bread of life1 but there should  
be nothing taught except what somebody  
knows2 and anything else should not be  
maintained by a system of general       
taxation4 ,i want its professors so that
 they will tell everything they find2   
that they will be free to investigate in
 every direction1 and will not be       
trammeled by the superstitions of our   
day4 ,what has religion to do with      
facts8  ,nothing4  ,is there any such   
thing as ,methodist mathematics1        
,presbyterian botany1 ,catholic         
astronomy or ,baptist biology8  ,what   
has any form of superstition or religion
 to do with a fact or with any science8 
,nothing but to hinder1 delay or        
embarrass4  ,i want1 then1 to free the  
schools2 and ,i want to free the        
politicians1 so that a man will not have
 to pretend he is a ,methodist1 or his  
wife a ,baptist1 or his grandmother a   

,catholic2 so that he can go through a  
campaign1 and when he gets through will 
find none of the dust of hypocrisy on   
his knees4  ,i want the people splendid 
enough that when they desire men to make
 laws for them1 they will take one who  
knows something1 who has brains enough  
to prophesy the destiny of the ,american
 ,republic1 no matter what his opinions 
may be upon any religious subject4      
,suppose we are in a storm out at sea1  
and the billows are washing over our    
ship1 and it is necessary that some one 
should reef the topsail1 and a man      
presents himself4  ,would you stop him  
at the foot of the mast to find out his 
opinion on the five points of           
,calvinism8  ,what has that to do with  
it8 ,congress has nothing to do with    
baptism or any particular creed1 and    
from what little experience ,i have had 
in ,washington1 very little to do with  
any kind of religion whatever4  ,now ,i 
hope1 this afternoon1 this magnificent  
and splendid audience will forget that  

they are ,baptists or ,methodists1 and  
remember that they are men and women4   
,these are the highest titles humanity  
can bear--and every title you add1      
belittles them4  ,man is the highest2   
woman is the highest4  ,let us remember 
that our views depend largely upon the  
country in which we happen to live4     
,suppose we were born in ,turkey most of
 us would have been ,mohammedans2 and   
when we read in the book that when      
,mohammed visited heaven he became      
acquainted with an angel named ,gabriel1
 who was so broad between his eyes that 
it would take a smart camel three       
hundred days to make the journey1 we    
probably would have believed it4  ,if we
 did not1 people would say3 ,that young 
man is dangerous2 he is trying to tear  
down the fabric of our religion4  ,what 
do you propose to give us instead of    
that angel8 ,we cannot afford to trade  
off an angel of that size for nothing4  
,or if we had been born in ,india1 we   
would have believed in a god with three 

heads4  ,now we believe in three gods   
with one head4  ,and so we might make a 
tour of the world and see that every    
superstition that could be imagined by  
the brain of man has been in some place 
held to be sacred4  ,now some one says1 
,the religion of my father and mother is
 good enough for me4  ,suppose we all   
said that1 where would be the progress  
of the world8  ,we would have the rudest
 and most barbaric religion--religion   
which no one could believe4  ,i do not  
believe that it is showing real respect 
to our parents to believe something     
simply because they did4 ,every good    
father and every good mother wish their 
children to find out more than they knew
 every good father wants his son to     
overcome some obstacle that he could not
 grapple with and if you wish to reflect
 credit on your father and mother1 do it
 by accomplishing more than they did1   
because you live in a better time4      
,every nation has had what you call a   
sacred record1 and the older the more   

sacred1 the more contradictory and the  
more inspired is the record4  ,we1 of   
course1 are not an exception1 and ,i    
propose to talk a little about what is  
called the ,pentateuch1 a book1 or a    
collection of books1 said to have been  
written by ,moses4  ,and right here in  
the commencement let me say that ,moses 
never wrote one word of the             
,pentateuch--not one word was written   
until he had been dust and ashes for    
hundreds of years4  ,but as the general 
opinion is that ,moses wrote these      
books1 ,i have entitled this lecture    
,the ,mistakes of ,moses4  ,for the sake
 of this lecture1 we will admit that he 
wrote it4  ,nearly every maker of       
religion has commenced by making the    
world2 and it is one of the safest      
things to do1 because no one can        
contradict as having been present1 and  
it gives free scope to the imagination4 
,these books1 in times when there was a 
vast difference between the educated and
 the ignorant1 became inspired and      

people bowed down and worshiped them4   
,i saw a little while ago a ,bible with 
immense oaken covers1 with hasps and    
clasps large enough almost for a        
penitentiary1 and ,i can imagine how    
that book would be regarded by          
barbarians in ,europe when not more than
 one person in a dozen could read and   
write4  ,in imagination ,i saw it       
carried into the cathedral1 heard the   
chant of the priest1 saw the swinging of
 the censer and the smoke rising2 and   
when that ,bible was put on the altar ,i
 can imagine the barbarians looking at  
it and wondering what influence that    
book could have on their lives and      
future4  ,i do not wonder that they     
imagined it was inspired4  ,none of them
 could write a book1 and consequently   
when they saw it they adored it2 they   
were stricken with awe2 and rascals took
 advantage of that awe4  ,now they say  
that the book is inspired4  ,i do not   
care whether it is or not2 the question 
is3 ,is it true8  ,if it is true it     

doesn't need to be inspired4  ,nothing  
needs inspiration except a falsehood or 
a mistake4 ,a fact never went into      
partnership with a miracle4 ,truth      
scorns the assistance of wonders4  ,a   
fact will fit every other fact in the   
universe1 and that is how you can       
tell--whether it is or not a fact4  ,a  
lie will not fit anything except a lie  
made for the express purpose2 and1      
finally1 some one gets tired of lying1  
and the last lie will not fit the next  
fact1 and then there is a chance for    
inspiration4  ,right then and there a   
miracle is needed4 ,the real question   
is1 in the light of science1 in the     
light of the brain and heart of the     
nineteenth century1 is this book true8  
,the gentleman who wrote it begins by   
telling us that ,god made the universe  
out of nothing4  ,that ,i cannot        
conceive2 it may be so1 but ,i cannot   
conceive it4  ,nothing in the light of  
raw material1 is1 to my mind1 a decided 
and disastrous failure4  ,i cannot      

imagine of nothing being made into      
something1 any more than ,i can of      
something being changed back into       
nothing4  ,i cannot conceive of force   
aside from matter1 because force to be  
force must be active1 and unless there  
is matter there is nothing for force to 
act upon1 and consequently it cannot be 
active4  ,so ,i simply say ,i cannot    
comprehend it4  ,i cannot believe it4 ,i
 may roast for this1 but it is my honest
 opinion4 ,the next thing he proceeds to
 tell us is that ,god divided the       
darkness from the light1 and right here 
let me say when ,i speak about ,god ,i  
simply mean the being described by the  
,jews4  ,there may be in immensity a    
being beneath whose wing the universe   
exists1 whose every thought is a        
glittering star1 but ,i know nothing    
about ,him1--not the slightest1--and    
this afternoon ,i am simply talking     
about the being described by the ,jewish
 people4  ,when ,i say ,god1 ,i mean    
,him4  ,moses describes ,god dividing   

the light from the darkness4  ,i suppose
 that at that time they must have been  
mixed4  ,you can readily see how light  
and darkness can get mixed4  ,they must 
have been entities4  ,the reason ,i     
think so is because in that same book ,i
 find that darkness overspread ,egypt so
 thick that it could be felt1 and they  
used to have on exhibition in ,rome a   
bottle of the darkness that once        
overspread ,egypt4 ,the gentleman who   
wrote this in imagination saw ,god      
dividing light from the darkness4  ,i am
 sure the man who wrote it1 believed    
darkness to be an entity1 a something1 a
 tangible thing that can be mixed with  
light4  ,the next thing that he informs 
us is that ,god divided the waters above
 the firmament from those below the     
firmament4  ,the man who wrote that     
believed the firmament to be a solid    
affair4  ,and that is what the gods did4
  ,you recollect the gods came down and 
made love to the daughters of men--and  
,i never blamed them for it4  ,i have   

never read a description of any heaven  
,i would not leave on the same errand4  
,that is where the gods lived4  ,there  
is where they kept the water4  ,it was  
solid4  ,that is the reason the people  
prayed for rain4  ,they believed that an
 angel could take a lever1 raise a      
window and let out the desired quantity4
  ,i find in the ,psalms that ,he bowed 
the heavens and came down2  and we read 
that the children of men built a tower  
to reach the heavens and climb into the 
abode of the gods4  ,the man who wrote  
that believed the firmament to be solid4
  ,he knew nothing about the laws of    
evaporation4 ,he did not know that the  
sun wooed with amorous kiss the waves of
 the sea1 and that1 disappointed1 their 
vaporous sighs changed to tears and fell
 again as rain4  ,the next thing he     
tells us is that the grass began to     
grow2 and the branches of the trees     
laughed into blossom1 and the grass ran 
up the shoulder of the hills1 and yet   
not a solitary ray of light had left the

 eternal quiver of the sun4  ,not a     
blade of grass had ever been touched by 
a gleam of light4  ,and ,i do not think 
that grass will grow to hurt without a  
gleam of sunshine4  ,i think the man who
 wrote that simply made a mistake1 and  
is excusable to a certain degree4 ,the  
next day he made the sun and moon--the  
sun to rule the day and the moon to rule
 the night4  ,do you think the man who  
wrote that knew anything about the size 
of the sun8 ,i think he thought it was  
about three feet in diameter1 because ,i
 find in some book that the sun was     
stopped a whole day1 to give a general  
named ,joshua time to kill a few more   
,amalekites2 and the moon was stopped   
also4  ,now it seems to me that the sun 
would give light enough without stopping
 the moon2 but as they were in the      
stopping business they did it just for  
devilment4  ,at another time1 we read1  
the sun was turned ten degrees backward 
to convince ,hezekiah that he was not   
going to die of a boil4  ,how much      

easier it would have been to cure the   
boil4 ,the man who wrote that thought   
the sun was two or three feet in        
diameter1 and could be stopped and      
pulled around like the sun and moon in a
 theatre4  ,do you know that the sun    
throws out every second of time as much 
heat as could be generated by burning   
eleven thousand millions tons of coal8  
,i don't believe he knew that1 or that  
he knew the motion of the earth4  ,i    
don't believe he knew that it was       
turning on its axis at the rate of a    
thousand miles an hour1 because if he   
did1 he would have understood the       
immensity of heat that would have been  
generated by stopping the world4 ,it has
 been calculated by one of the best     
mathematicians and astronomers that to  
stop the world would cause as much heat 
as it would take to burn a lump of solid
 coal three times as big as the globe4  
,and yet we find in that book that the  
sun was not only stopped1 but turned    
back ten degrees1 simply to convince a  

gentleman that he was not going to die  
of a boil4  ,they will say ,i will be   
damned if ,i do not believe that1 and ,i
 tell them ,i will if ,i do4  ,then he  
gives us the history of astronomy1 and  
he gives it to us in five words3 ,he    
made the stars also4  ,he came very near
 forgetting the stars4  ,do you believe 
that the man who wrote that knew that   
there are stars as much larger than this
 earth as this earth is larger than the 
apple which ,adam and ,eve are said to  
have eaten4  ,do you believe that he    
knew that this world is but a speck in  
the shining1 glittering universe of     
existence8  ,i would gather from that   
that he made the stars after he got the 
world done4  ,the telescope1 in reading 
the infinite leaves of the heavens1 has 
ascertained that light travels at the   
rate of #aib1jjj miles per second1 and  
it would require millions of years to   
come from some of the stars to this     
earth4  ,yet the beams of those stars   
mingle in our atmosphere1 so that if    

those distant orbs were fashioned when  
this world began1 we must have been     
whirling in space not six thousand1 but 
many millions of years4  ,do you believe
 the man who wrote that as a history of 
astronomy really knew that this world   
was but a speck compared with millions  
of sparkling orbs8  ,i do not4 ,he then 
proceeds to tell us that ,god made fish 
and cattle1 and that man and woman were 
created male and female4  ,the first    
account stops at the second verse of the
 second chapter4  ,you see1 the ,bible  
originally was not divided into         
chapters2 the first ,bible that was ever
 divided into chapters in our language  
was made in the year of grace #aeej4    
,the ,bible was originally written in   
the ,hebrew language1 and the ,hebrew   
language at that time had no vowels in  
writing4  ,it was written with          
consonants1 and without being divided   
into chapters or into verses1 and there 
was no system of punctuation whatever4  
,after you go home tonight write an     

,english sentence or two with only      
consonants close together1 and you will 
find that it will take twice as much    
inspiration to read it as it did to     
write it4  ,when the ,bible was divided 
into verses and chapters1 the divisions 
were not always correct1 and so the     
division between the first and second   
chapter of ,genesis is not in the right 
place4 ,the second account of the       
creation commences at the third verse   
and it differs from the first in two    
essential points4  ,in the first account
 man is the last made2 in the second man
 is made before the beasts4  ,in the    
first account1 man is made male and     
female2 in the second only a male is    
made1 and there is no intention of      
making a woman whatever4  ,you will find
 by reading that second chapter that    
,god tried to palm off on ,adam a beast 
as his helpmeet4  ,everybody talks about
 the ,bible and nobody reads it2 that is
 the reason it is so generally believed4
 ,i am probably the only man in the     

,united ,states who has read the ,bible 
through this year4  ,i have wasted that 
time1 but ,i had a purpose in view4     
,just read it1 and you will find1 about 
the twenty-third verse1 that ,god caused
 all the animals to walk before ,adam in
 order that he might name them4  ,and   
the animals came like a menagerie into  
town1 and as ,adam looked at all the    
crawlers1 jumpers and creepers1 this    
,god stood by to see what he would call 
them4  ,after this procession passed1 it
 was pathetically remarked1 ,yet was    
there not found any helpmeet for ,adam4 
,adam didn't see anything that he could 
fancy4 ,and ,i am glad he didn't4 ,if he
 had1 there would not have been a       
free-thinker in this world2 we should   
have all died orthodox4  ,and finding   
,adam was so particular1 ,god had to    
make him a helpmeet1 and having used up 
the nothing1 he was compelled to take   
part of the man to make the woman with1 
and he took from the man a rib4  ,how   
did he get it8 ,and then imagine a ,god 

with a bone in his hand1 and about to   
start a woman1 trying to make up his    
mind whether to make a blonde or a      
brunette4  ,right here it is only proper
 that ,i should warn you of the         
consequences of laughing at any story in
 the ,bible4  ,when you come to die1    
your laughing at this story will be a   
thorn in your pillow4  ,as you look back
 upon the record of your life1 no matter
 how many men you have wrecked and      
ruined1 and no matter how many women you
 have deceived and deserted--all that   
may be forgiven you but if you recollect
 that you have laughed at ,god's book   
you will see through the shadows of     
death1 the leering looks of fiends and  
the forked tongues of devils4  ,let me  
show you how it will be4  ,for instance 
it is the day of judgment4  ,when the   
man is called up by the recording       
secretary1 or whoever does the          
cross-examining1 he says to his soul    
,where are you from8  ,i am from the    
world4  ,yes sir4  ,what kind of a man  

were you8  ,well1 ,i don't like to talk 
about myself4  ,but you have to4 ,what  
kind of a man were you8 ,well1 ,i was a 
good fellow2 ,i loved my wife1 ,i loved 
my children4 ,my home was my heaven2 my 
fire-side was my paradise1 and to sit   
there and see the lights and shadows    
falling on the faces of those ,i love1  
that to me was a perpetual joy4  ,i     
never gave one of them a solitary moment
 of pain4  ,i don't owe a dollar in the 
world and ,i left enough to pay my      
funeral expenses and keep the wolf of   
want from the door of the house ,i      
loved4 ,that is the kind of a man ,i am4
  ,did you belong to any church8 ,i did 
not4  ,they were too narrow for me4     
,they were always expecting to be happy 
simply because somebody else was to be  
damned4  ,well1 did you believe that rib
 story8  ,what rib story--,do you mean  
that ,adam and ,eve business8  ,no1 ,i  
did not4  ,to tell you the ,god's truth1
 that was a little more than ,i could   
swallow4  ,to hell with him4 ,next4     

,where are you from8  ,i'm from the     
world1 too4  ,do you belong to any      
church8  ,yes1 sir1 and to the ,young   
,men's ,christian ,association4 ,what is
 your business8  ,cashier in a bank4    
,did you ever run off with any money8   
,i don't like to tell1 ,sir4  ,well1 you
 have to4 ,yes1 ,sir ,i did4  ,what kind
 of a bank did you have8 ,a savings     
bank4 ,how much did you run off with8   
,one hundred thousand dollars4  ,did you
 take anything else along with you8 ,yes
 ,sir4 ,what8  ,i took my neighbor's    
wife4  ,did you have a wife and children
 of your own8 ,yes1 ,sir4  ,and you     
deserted them8 ,oh1 yes2 but such was my
 confidence in ,god that ,i believed he 
would take care of them4  ,have you     
heard of them since8  ,no1 ,sir4 ,did   
you believe that rib story8 ,ah1 bless  
your soul1 yes6  ,i believe all of it1  
,sir2 ,i often used to be sorry that    
there were not harder stories yet in the
 ,bible1 so that ,i could show what my  
faith could do4  ,you believed it1 did  

you8  ,yes1 with all my heart4  ,give   
him a harp4  ,i simply wanted to show   
you how important it is to believe these
 stories4  ,of all the authors in the   
world ,god hates a critic the worst4    
,having got this woman done he brought  
her to the man1 and they started        
house-keeping1 and a few minutes        
afterward a snake came through a crack  
in the fence and commenced to talk with 
her on the subject of fruit4 ,she was   
not acquainted in the neighborhood1 and 
she did not know whether snakes talked  
or not1 or whether they knew anything   
about the apples or not4  ,well1 she was
 misled1 and the husband ate some of    
those apples and laid it all on his     
wife2 and there is where the mistake was
 made4  ,god ought to have rubbed him   
out at once4  ,he might have known that 
no good could come of starting the world
 with a man like that4 ,they were turned
 out4  ,then the trouble commenced1 and 
people got worse and worse4  ,god1 you  
must recollect1 was holding the reins of

 government1 but ,he did nothing for    
them4  ,he allowed them to live six     
hundred and sixty-nine years without    
knowing their ,a4 ,b4 ,c4  ,he never    
started a school1 not even a ,sunday    
school4  ,he didn't even keep ,his own  
boys at home4  ,and the world got worse 
every day1 and finally he concluded to  
drown them4 ,yet that same ,god has the 
impudence to tell me how to raise my own
 children4  ,what would you think of a  
neighbor1 who had just killed his babes 
giving you his views on domestic        
economy8 ,god found that he could do    
nothing with them and ,he said3 ,i will 
drown them all except a few4 ,and he    
picked out a fellow by the name of      
,noah1 that had been a bachelor for five
 hundred years4  ,if ,i had to drown    
anybody1 ,i would have drowned him4  ,i 
believe that ,noah had then been married
 something like one hundred years4  ,god
 told him to build a boat1 and he built 
one five hundred feet long1 eighty or   
ninety feet broad and fifty-five feet   

high1 with one door shutting on the     
outside1 and one window twenty-two      
inches square4  ,if ,noah had any hobby 
in the world it was ventilation4  ,then 
into this ark he put a certain number of
 all the animals in the world4          
,naturalists have ascertained that at   
that time there were at least eleven    
hundred thousand insects necessary to go
 into the ark1 about forty thousand     
mammalia1 sixteen hundred reptiles1 to  
say nothing of the mastodon1 the        
elephant and the animalcule1 of which   
thousands live upon a single leaf and   
which cannot be seen by the naked eye4  
,noah had no microscope1 and yet he had 
pick them out by pairs4  ,you have no   
idea the trouble that man had4  ,some   
say that the flood was not universal1   
that it was partial4  ,why then did ,god
 say ,i will destroy every living thing 
beneath the heavens4 ,if it was partial 
why did ,noah save the birds8 ,an       
ordinary bird1 tending strictly to      
business1 can beat a partial flood4 ,why

 did he put the birds in there--the     
eagles1 the vultures1 the condors--if it
 was only a partial flood8  ,and how did
 he get them in there8  ,were they      
inspired to go there1 or did he drive   
them up8 ,did the polar bear leave his  
home of ice and start for the tropic    
inquiring for ,noah2 or could the       
kangaroo come from ,australia unless he 
was inspired1 or somebody was behind    
him8  ,then there are animals on this   
hemisphere not on that4 ,how did he get 
them across8  ,and there are some       
animals which would be very unpleasant  
in an ark unless the ventilation was    
very perfect4  ,when he got the animals 
in the ark1 ,god shut the door and ,noah
 pulled down the window4  ,and then it  
began to rain1 and it kept on raining   
until the water went twenty nine feet   
over the highest mountain4 ,chimborazo1 
then as now1 lifted its head above the  
clouds1 and then as now1 there sat the  
condor4  ,and yet the waters rose and   
rose over every mountain in the         

world--twenty-nine feet above the       
highest peaks1 covered with snow and    
ice4  ,how deep were these waters8      
,about five and a half miles4  ,how long
 did it rain8  ,forty days4  ,how much  
did it have to rain a day8  ,about eight
 hundred feet4  ,how is that for        
dampness8 ,no wonder they said the      
windows of the heavens were open4 ,if ,i
 had been there ,i would have said the  
whole side of the house was out4  ,how  
long were they in this ark8  ,a year and
 ten days1 floating around with no      
rudder1 no sail1 nobody on the outside  
at all4 ,the window was shut1 and there 
was no door1 except the one that shut on
 the outside4  ,who ran this ark--who   
took care of it8  ,finally it came down 
on ,mount ,ararat1 a peak seventeen     
thousand feet above the level of the    
sea1 with about three thousand feet of  
snow1 and it stopped there simply to    
give the animals from the tropics a     
chance4 ,then ,noah opened the window   
and got a breath of fresh air1 and let  

out all the animals2 and then ,noah took
 a drink1 and ,god made a bargain with  
him that ,he would not drown us any     
more1 and ,he put a rainbow in the      
clouds and said3 ,when ,i see that ,i   
will recollect that ,i have promised not
 to drown you4  ,because if it was not  
for that ,he is apt to drown us at any  
moment4  ,now can anybody believe that  
that is the origin of the rainbow8  ,are
 you not all familiar with the natural  
causes which bring those beautiful      
arches before our eyes8  ,then the      
people started out again1 and they were 
as bad as before4  ,here let me ask why 
,god did not make ,noah in the first    
place8  ,he knew ,he would have to drown
 ,adam and ,eve and all his family4     
,then another thing1 why did ,he want to
 drown the animals8 ,what had they done8
  ,what crime had they committed8  ,it  
is very hard to answer these            
questions--that is1 for a man who has   
only been born once4  ,after a while    
they tried to build a tower to get into 

heaven1 and the gods heard about it and 
said ,let's go down and see what man is 
up to4 ,they came1 and found things a   
great deal worse than they thought1 and 
thereupon ,he confounded the language to
 prevent them succeeding1 so that the   
fellow up above could not shout down    
mortar or brick to the one below1 and   
they had to give it up4 ,is it possible 
that any one believes that that is the  
reason why we have the variety of       
languages in the world8  ,do you know   
that language is born of human          
experience1 and is a physical science8  
,do you know that every word has been   
suggested in some way by the feelings or
 observations of man--that there are    
words as tender as the dawn1 as serene  
as the stars1 and others as wild as the 
beasts8  ,do you know that language is  
dying and being born continually--that  
every language has its cemetery and its 
cradle1 its bud and blossom1 and        
withered leaf8 ,man has loved1 enjoyed  
and suffered1 and language is simply the

 expression he gives those experiences4 
,then the world began to divide1 and the
 ,jewish nation was started4 ,now ,i    
want to say that at one time your       
ancestors1 like mine1 were barbarians4  
,if the ,jewish people had to write     
these books now they would be civilized 
books1 and ,i do not hold them          
responsible for what their ancestors    
did4  ,we find the ,jewish people first 
in ,canaan1 and there were seventy of   
them1 counting ,joseph and his children 
already in ,egypt4 ,they lived two      
hundred and fifteen years1 and they then
 went down into ,egypt and stayed there 
two hundred and fifteen years they were 
four hundred and thirty years in ,canaan
 and ,egypt4  ,how many did they have   
when they went to ,egypt8  ,seventy4    
,how many were they at the end of two   
hundred and fifteen years8  ,three      
millions4 ,that is a good many4  ,we had
 at the time of the ,revolution in this 
country three millions of people4 ,since
 that time there have been four doubles1

 until we have forty-eight millions     
today4  ,how many would the ,jews number
 at the same ratio in two hundred and   
fifteen years8  ,call it eight doubles  
and we have forty thousand4  ,but       
instead of forty thousand they had three
 millions4  ,how do ,i know they had    
three millions8  ,because they had six  
hundred thousand men of war4  ,for every
 honest voter in the ,state of ,illinois
 there will be five other people1 and   
there are always more voters than men of
 war4  ,they must have had at the lowest
 possible estimate three millions of    
people4  ,is that true8  ,is there a    
minister in the city of ,chicago that   
will testify to his own idiocy by       
claiming that they could have increased 
to three millions by that time8  ,if    
there is1 let him say so4  ,do not let  
him talk about the civilizing influence 
of a lie4  ,when they got into the      
desert they took a census to see how man
 first-born children there were4  ,they 
found they had twenty-thousand two      

hundred and seventy-three first-born    
males4  ,it is reasonable to suppose    
there was about the same number of      
first-born girls1 or forty-five thousand
 first-born children4  ,there must have 
been about as many mothers as first-born
 children4  ,dividing three millions by 
forty-five thousand mothers1 and you    
will find that the women in ,israel had 
to have on the average sixty-eight      
children apiece4  ,some stories are too 
thin4 ,this is too thick4  ,now1 we know
 that among three million people there  
will be about three hundred births a    
day2 and according to the ,old          
,testament1 whenever a child was born   
the mother had to make a sacrifice--a   
sin-offering for the crime of having    
been a mother4 ,if there is in this     
universe anything that is infinitely    
pure1 it is a mother with her child in  
her arms4  ,every woman had to have a   
sacrifice of a couple of pigeons1 and   
the priests had to eat those pigeons in 
the most holy place4  ,at that time     

there were at least three hundred births
 a day1 and the priests had to cook and 
eat these pigeons in the most holy      
place2 and at that time there were only 
three priests4  ,two hundred birds      
apiece per day6  ,i look upon them as   
the champion bird-eaters of the world4  
,then where were these ,jews8  ,they    
were upon the desert of ,sinai2 and     
,sahara compared to that is a garden4   
,imagine an ocean of lava1 torn by storm
 and vexed by tempest1 suddenly gazed at
 by a ,gorgon and changed to stone4     
,such was the desert of ,sinai4  ,the   
whole supplies of the world could not   
maintain three millions of people on the
 desert of ,sinai for forty years4  ,it 
would cost one hundred thousand millions
 of dollars1 and would bankrupt         
,christendom4  ,and yet there they were 
with flocks and herds--so many that they
 sacrificed over one hundred and fifty  
thousand first-born lambs at one time4  
,it would require millions of acres to  
support these flocks1 and yet there was 

no blade of grass1 and there is no      
account of it raining baled hay4  ,they 
sacrificed one hundred and fifty        
thousand lambs1 and the blood had all to
 be sprinkled on the altar within two   
hours1 and there1 were only three       
priests4  ,they would have to sprinkle  
the blood of twelve hundred and fifty   
lambs per minute4  ,then all the people 
gathered in front of the tabernacle     
eighteen feet deep4 ,three millions of  
people would make a column six miles    
long4  ,some reverend gentlemen say they
 were ninety feet deep4  ,well1 that    
would make a column of over a mile4     
,where were these people going8  ,they  
were going to the ,holy ,land4 ,how     
large was it8  ,twelve thousand square  
miles--one-fifth the size of            
,illinois--a frightful country1 covered 
with rocks and desolation4 ,there never 
was a land agent in the city of ,chicago
 that would not have blushed with shame 
to have described that land as flowing  
with milk and honey4  ,do you believe   

that ,god ,almighty ever went into      
partnership with hornets8  ,is it       
necessary unto salvation8  ,god said to 
the ,jews ,i will send hornets before   
you1 to drive out the ,canaanites4  ,how
 would a hornet know a ,canaanite8  ,is 
it possible that ,god inspired the      
hornets--that he granted letters of     
marque and reprisal to hornets8  ,i am  
willing to admit that nothing in the    
world would be better calculated to make
 a man leave his native country than a  
few hornets attending strictly to       
business4 ,god said  ,kill the          
,canaanites slowly4 ,why8  ,lest the    
beasts of the field increase upon you4  
,how many ,jews were there8 ,three      
millions4  ,going to a country1 how     
large8  ,twelve thousand square miles4  
,but were there nations already in this 
,holy ,land8  ,yes1 there were seven    
nations mightier than the ,jews4  ,say  
there would be twenty-one millions when 
they got there1 or twenty-four millions 
with themselves4  ,yet they were told to

 kill them slowly1 lest the beasts of   
the field increase upon them4  ,is there
 a man in ,chicago that believes that6  
,then what does he teach it to little   
children for8 ,let him tell the truth4  
,so the same ,god went into partnership 
with snakes4  ,the children of ,israel  
lived on manna--one account says all the
 time1 and another only a little while4 
,that is the reason there is a chance   
for commentaries1 and you can exercise  
faith4  ,if the book was reasonable     
everybody could get to heaven in a      
moment4  ,but whenever it looks as if it
 could not be that way and you believe1 
you are almost a saint1 and when you    
know it is not that way and believe1 you
 are a saint4 ,he fed them on manna4    
,now manna is very peculiar stuff4  ,it 
would melt in the sun1 and yet they used
 to cook it by seething and baking4 ,i  
would as soon think of frying snow and  
boiling icicles4  ,but this manna had   
other peculiar qualities4 ,it shrank to 
an omer1 no matter how much they        

gathered1 and swelled up to an omer1 no 
matter how little they gathered4  ,what 
a magnificent thing manna would be for  
the currency1 shrinking and swelling    
according to the volume of business6    
,there was not a change in the bill of  
fare for forty years1 and they knew that
 ,god could just as well give them three
 square meals a day4  ,they remembered  
about the cucumbers1 and the melons1 and
 the leeks and the onions of ,egypt1 and
 they said3 ,our souls abhorreth this   
light bread4  ,then this ,god got       
mad--you know cooks are always          
touchy--and thereupon ,he sent snakes to
 bite the men1 women and children4  ,he 
also sent them quails in wrath and      
anger1 and while they had the flesh     
between their teeth1 he struck thousands
 of them dead4  ,he always acted in that
 way1 all of a sudden4 ,people had no   
chance to explain--no chance to move for
 a new trial--nothing4 ,i want to know  
if it is reasonable ,he should kill     
people for asking for one change of diet

 in forty years4  ,suppose you had been 
boarding with an old lady for forty     
years1 and she never had a solitary     
thing on her table but hash1 and one    
morning you said3 ,my soul abhorreth    
hash6  ,what would you say if she let a 
basketful of rattlesnakes upon you8     
,now is it possible for people to       
believe this8 ,the ,bible says their    
clothes did not wax old1 they did not   
get shiny at the knees or elbows2 and   
their shoes did not wear out4  ,they    
grew right along with them4  ,the little
 boy starting out with his first pants  
grew up and his pants grew with him4    
,some commentators have insisted that   
angels attended to their wardrobes4  ,i 
never could believe it4 ,just think of  
one angel hunting another and saying3   
,there goes another button4  ,i cannot  
believe it4  ,there must be a mistake   
somewhere or somehow4  ,do you believe  
the real ,god--if there is one--ever    
killed a man for making hair-oil8 ,and  
yet you find in the ,pentateuch that    

,god gave ,moses a recipe for making    
hair-oil to grease ,aaron's beard2 and  
said if anybody made the same hair-oil  
he should be killed4  ,and ,he gave him 
a formula for making ointment1 and ,he  
said if anybody made ointment like that 
he should be killed4  ,i think that is  
carrying patent-laws to excess4 ,there  
must be some mistake about it4  ,i      
cannot imagine the infinite ,creator of 
all the shining worlds giving a recipe  
for hair-oil4  ,do you believe that the 
real ,god came down to ,mount ,sinai    
with a lot of patterns for making a     
tabernacle-patterns for tongs1 for      
snuffers1 and such things8  ,do you     
believe that ,god came down on that     
mountain and told ,moses how to cut a   
coat1 and how it should be trimmed8     
,what would an infinite ,god care on    
which side he cut the breast1 what color
 the fringe was1 or how the buttons were
 placed8  ,do you believe ,god told     
,moses to make curtains of fine linen8  
,where did they get their flax in the   

desert8  ,how did they weave it8 ,did   
,he tell him to make things of gold1    
silver and precious stones1 when they   
hadn't them8  ,is it possible that ,god 
told them not to eat any fruit until    
after the fourth year of planting the   
trees8 ,you see all these things were   
written hundreds of years afterwards1   
and the priests1 in order to collect the
 tithes1 dated the laws back4  ,they did
 not say1 ,this is our law1 but1  ,thus 
said ,god to ,moses in the wilderness4  
,now1 can you believe that8  ,imagine a 
scene3 ,the eternal ,god tells ,moses   
,here is the way ,i want you to         
consecrate my priests4 ,catch a sheep   
and cut his throat4  ,i never could     
understand why ,god wanted a sheep      
killed just because a man had done a    
mean trick2 perhaps it was because his  
priests were fond of mutton4  ,he tells 
,moses further to take some of the blood
 and put it on his right thumb1 a little
 on his right ear1 and a little on his  
right big toe8  ,do you believe ,god    

ever gave such instructions for the     
consecration of ,his priests8  ,if you  
should see the ,south ,sea ,islanders   
going through such a performance you    
could not keep your face straight4  ,and
 will you tell me that it had to be done
 in order to consecrate a man to the    
service of the infinite ,god8 ,supposing
 the blood got on the left toe8  ,then  
we find in this book how ,god went to   
work to make the ,egyptians let the     
,israelites go4  ,suppose we wish to    
make a treaty with the mikado of ,japan1
 and ,mr4 ,hayes sent a commissioner    
there2 and suppose he should employ     
,hermann1 the wonderful ,german1 to go  
along with him2 and when they came in   
the presence of the mikado ,herman threw
 down an umbrella1 which changed into a 
turtle1 and the commissioner said3 ,this
 is my certificate4  ,you would say the 
country is disgraced4 ,you would say the
 president of a republic like this      
disgraces himself with jugglery4  ,yet  
we are told ,god sent ,moses and ,aaron 

before ,pharaoh1 and when they got there
 ,moses threw down a stick which turned 
into a snake4 ,that ,god is a           
juggler--he is the infinite             
prestidigitator4  ,is that possible8    
,was that really a snake1 or was it the 
appearance of a snake8  ,if it was the  
appearance of a snake1 it was a fraud4  
,then the necromancers of ,egypt were   
sent for1 and they threw down sticks1   
which turned into snakes1 but those were
 not so large as ,moses' snakes1 which  
swallowed them4  ,i maintain that it is 
just as hard to make small snakes as it 
is to make large ones2 the only         
difference is that to make large snakes 
either larger sticks or more practice is
 required4  ,do you believe that ,god   
rained hail on innocent cattle1 killing 
them in the highways and in the field8  
,why should he inflict punishment on    
cattle for something their owners had   
done8  ,i could never have any respect  
for a ,god that would so inflict pain   
upon a brute beast simply on account of 

the crime of its owner4  ,is it possible
 that ,god worked miracles to convince  
,pharaoh that slavery was wrong8  ,why  
did he not tell ,pharaoh that any nation
 founded on slavery could not stand8    
,why did he not tell him1 ,your         
government is founded on slavery1 and it
 will go down1 and the sands of the     
desert will hide from the view of man   
your temples1 your altars1 and your     
fanes8  ,why did he not speak about the 
infamy of slavery8  ,because he believed
 in the infamy of slavery himself4  ,can
 we believe that ,god will allow a man  
to give his wife the right of           
divorcement and make the mother of his  
children a wanderer and a vagrant4      
,there is not one word about woman in   
the ,old ,testament except the word of  
shame and humiliation4 ,the ,god of the 
,bible does not think woman is as good  
as man4  ,she never was worth           
mentioning4  ,it did not take the pains 
to recount the death of the mother of us
 all4  ,i have no respect for any book  

that does not treat woman as the equal  
of man4 ,and if there is any ,god in    
this universe who thinks more of me than
 he thinks of my wife1 he is not well   
acquainted with both of us4  ,and yet   
they say that that was done on account  
of the hardness of their hearts2 and    
that was done in a community where the  
law was so fierce that it stoned a man  
to death for picking up sticks on       
,sunday4  ,would it not have been better
 to stone to death every man who abused 
his wife and allowed them to pick up    
sticks on account of the hardness of    
their hearts8  ,if ,god wanted to take  
those ,jews from ,egypt to the land of  
,canaan1 why didn't ,he do it instantly8
  ,if ,he was going to do a miracle why 
didn't ,he do one worth talking about8  
,after ,god had killed all the          
first-born in ,egypt1 after ,he had     
killed all the cattle1 still ,egypt     
could raise an army that could put to   
flight six hundred thousand men4  ,and  
because this ,god overwhelmed the       

,egyptian army1 he bragged about it for 
a thousand years1 repeatedly calling the
 attention of the ,jews to the fact that
 he overthrew ,pharaoh and his hosts4   
,did he help much with their six-hundred
 thousand men8 ,we find by the records  
of the day that the ,egyptian standing  
army at that time was never more than   
one hundred thousand men4  ,must we     
believe all these stories in order to   
get to ,heaven when we die8  ,must we   
judge of a man's character by the number
 of stories he believes8 ,are we to get 
to ,heaven by creed or by deed8  ,that  
is the question4 ,shall we reason1 or   
shall we simply believe8  ,ah1 but they 
say the ,bible is not inspired about    
those little things4  ,the ,bible says  
the rabbit and the hare chew the cud4   
,but they do not4  ,they have a         
tremulous motion of the lip4  ,but the  
,being that made them says they chew the
 cud4  ,the ,bible1 therefore1 is not   
inspired in natural history4  ,is it    
inspired in its astrology8 ,no4 ,well1  

what is it inspired in8  ,in its law8   
,thousands of people say that if it had 
not been for the ten commandments we    
would not have known any better than to 
rob and steal4  ,suppose a man planted  
an acre of potatoes1 hoed them all      
summer1 and dug them in the fall2 and   
suppose a man had sat upon the fence all
 the time and watched him8  ,do you     
believe it would be necessary for that  
man to read the ten commandments to find
 out who1 in his judgment had a right to
 take those potatoes8  ,all laws against
 larceny have been made by industry to  
protect the fruits of its labor4 ,why is
 there a law against murder8  ,simply   
because a large majority of people      
object to being murdered4  ,that is all4
  ,and all these laws were in force     
thousands of years before that time4    
,one of the commandments said they      
should not make any graven images1 and  
that was the death of art in ,palestine4
  ,no sculptor has ever enriched stone  
with the divine forms of beauty in that 

country2 and any commandment that is the
 death of art is not a good commandment4
 ,but they say the ,bible is morally    
inspired2 and they tell me there is no  
civilization without this ,bible4  ,then
 ,god knows that just as well as you do4
  ,god always knew it1 and if you can't 
civilize a nation without a ,bible1 why 
didn't ,god give every nation just one  
,bible to start with8 ,why did ,god     
allow hundreds of thousands and billions
 of billions to go down to hell just for
 the lack of a ,bible8 ,they say that it
 is morally inspired4  ,well1 let us    
examine it4  ,i want to be fair about   
this thing1 because ,i am willing to    
stake my salvation or damnation upon    
this question--whether the ,bible is    
true or not4  ,i say it is not and upon 
that ,i am willing to wager my soul4 ,is
 there a woman here who believes in the 
institution of polygamy8 ,is there a man
 here who believes in that infamy8  ,you
 say3 ,no1 we do not4  ,then you are    
better than your ,god was four thousand 

years ago4  ,four thousand years ago he 
believed in it1 taught it and upheld it4
  ,i pronounce it and denounce it the   
infamy of infamies4  ,it robs our       
language of every sweet and tender word 
in it4 ,it takes the fire-side away     
forever4  ,it takes the meaning out of  
the words father1 mother1 sister1       
brother1 and turns the temple of love   
into a vile den where crawl the slimy   
snakes of lust and hatred4  ,i was in   
,utah a little while ago1 and was on the
 mountain where ,god used to talk to    
,brigham ,young4  ,he never said        
anything to me4  ,i said that it was    
just as reasonable that ,god in the     
nineteenth century should talk to a     
polygamist in ,utah as it was that four 
thousand years ago1 on ,mount ,sinai1 he
 talked to ,moses upon that hellish and 
damnable question4  ,i have no love for 
any ,god who believes in polygamy4      
,there is no heaven on this earth save  
where the one woman loves the one man   
and the one man loves the one woman4  ,i

 guess it is not inspired on the        
polygamy question4  ,may be it is       
inspired about religious liberty4 ,god  
says if anybody differs with you about  
religion1 kill him4  ,he told ,his      
peculiar people1 ,if any one teaches a  
different religion1 kill him6 ,he did   
not say1 ,try and convince him that he  
is wrong1 but kill him4 ,he did not say1
 ,i am in the miracle business1 and ,i  
will convince him1 but kill him4  ,he   
said to every husband1 ,if your wife1   
that you love as you love your own soul1
 says1 'let us go and worship other     
gods1' then  ',thy hand shall be first  
upon her and she shall be stoned with   
stones until she dies4'  ,well1 now1 ,i 
hate a ,god of that kind1 and ,i cannot 
think of being nearer heaven than to be 
away from ,him4  ,a ,god tells a man to 
kill his wife simply because she differs
 with him on religion6  ,if the real    
,god were to tell me to kill my wife1 ,i
 would not do it4 ,if you had lived in  
,palestine at that time1 and your       

wife--the mother of your children--had  
woke up at night and said ,i am tired of
 ,jehovah4 ,he is always turning up that
 board-bill4 ,he is always telling about
 whipping the ,egyptians4  ,he is always
 killing somebody4  ,i am tired of ,him4
  ,let us worship the sun4  ,the sun has
 clothed the world in beauty2 it has    
covered the earth with green and        
flowers2 by its divine light ,i first   
saw your face2 its light has enabled me 
to look into the eyes of my beautiful   
babe4  ,let us worship the sun1 father  
and mother of light and love and joy4   
,then what would it be your duty to     
do--kill her8  ,do you believe a real   
,god ever did that8 ,your hand should be
 first upon her1 and when you took up   
some ragged rock and hurled it against  
the white bosom filled with love for    
you1 and saw running away the red       
current of her sweet life1 then you     
would look up to heaven and receive the 
congratulations of the infinite fiend   
whose commandments you had to obey4  ,i 

guess the ,bible was not inspired about 
religious liberty4  ,let me ask you     
right here3 ,suppose1 as a matter of    
fact1 ,god gave those laws to the ,jews 
and told them whenever a man preaches a 
different religion1 kill him1 and       
suppose that afterwards the same ,god   
took upon ,himself flesh1 and came to   
the world and taught and preached a     
different religion1 and the ,jews       
crucified ,him--did ,he not reap exactly
 what ,he sowed8  ,may be this book is  
inspired about war4  ,god told the      
,israelites to overrun that country1 and
 kill every man1 woman and child for    
defending their native land4  ,kill the 
old men8  ,yes4  ,kill the women8       
,certainly4 ,and the little dimpled     
babes in the cradle1 that smile and coo 
in the face of murder--dash out their   
brains2 that is the will of ,god4  ,will
 you tell me that any ,god ever         
commanded such infamy8  ,kill the men   
and the women1 and the young men and the
 babes6  ,what shall we do with the     

maidens8  ,give them to the rabble      
murderers6  ,do you believe that ,god   
ever allowed the roses of love and the  
violets of modesty that shed their      
perfume in the heart of a maiden to be  
trampled beneath the brutal feet of     
lust8  ,if there is any ,god1 ,i pray   
,him to write in the book of eternal    
remembrance opposite to my name1 that ,i
 denied that lie4  ,whenever a woman    
reads a ,bible and comes to that        
passage1 she ought to throw the book    
from her in contempt and scorn4  ,do you
 tell me that any decent god would do   
that8  ,what would the devil have done  
under the same circumstances8  ,just    
think of it1 and yet that is the ,god   
that we want to get into the            
,constitution4  ,that is the ,god we    
teach our children about so that they   
will be sweet and tender1 amiable and   
kind6 ,that monster--that fiend--,i     
guess the ,bible is not inspired about  
religious liberty1 nor about war4       
,then1 if it is not inspired about these

 things1 may be it is inspired about    
slavery4  ,god tells the ,jews to buy up
 the children of the heathen round about
 and they should be servants for them4  
,what is a servant8 ,if they struck a   
servant and he died immediately1        
punishment was to follow2 but if the    
injured man should linger a while1 there
 was no punishment1 because the servant 
represented their money6 ,do you believe
 that it is right--that ,god made one   
man to work for another and to receive  
pay in rations8  ,do you believe ,god   
said that a whip on the naked back was  
the legal tender for labor performed8   
,is it possible that the real ,god ever 
gave such infamous1 blood-thirsty laws8 
,what more does ,he say8  ,when the time
 of a married slave expired1 he could   
not take his wife and children with him4
  ,then if the slave did not wish to    
desert his family1 he had his ears      
pierced with an awl1 and became his     
master's property forever4  ,do you     
believe that ,god ever turned the       

dimpled cheeks of little children into  
iron chains to hold a man in slavery8   
,do you know that a ,god like that would
 not make a respectable devil8  ,i want 
none of his mercy4  ,i want no part and 
no lot in the heaven of such a ,god4  ,i
 will go to perdition1 where there is   
human sympathy4  ,the only voice we have
 ever had from either of those other    
worlds came from hell4  ,there was a    
rich man who prayed his brothers to     
attend to ,lazarus so that they might   
not come to this place4  ,that is the   
only instance1 so far as we know1 of    
souls across the river having any       
sympathy4  ,and ,i would rather be in   
hell1 asking for water1 than in heaven  
denying that petition4  ,well1 what is  
this book inspired about8 ,where does   
the inspiration come from8 ,why was it  
that so many animals were killed8  ,it  
was simply to make atonement for        
man--that is all4 ,they killed something
 that had not committed a crime1 in     
order that the one who had committed the

 crime might be acquitted4 ,based upon  
that idea is the atonement of the       
,christian religion4  ,that is the      
reason ,i attack this book--because it  
is the basis of another infamy1 viz3    
that one man can be good for another1 or
 that one man can sin for another4  ,i  
deny it4  ,you have got to be good for  
yourself2 you have got to sin for       
yourself4  ,the trouble about the       
atonement is1 that it saves the wrong   
man4  ,for instance1 ,i kill some one4  
,he is a good man4  ,he loves his wife  
and children and tries to make them     
happy2 but he is not a ,christian1 and  
he goes to hell4  ,just as soon as ,i am
 convicted and cannot get a pardon ,i   
get religion1 and ,i go to heaven4 ,the 
hand of mercy cannot reach down through 
the shadows of hell to my victim4       
,there is no atonement for the          
saint--only for the sinner and the      
criminal4  ,the atonement saves the     
wrong man4  ,i have said that ,i would  
never make a lecture at all without     

attacking this doctrine4 ,i did not care
 what ,i started out on4  ,i was always 
going to attack this doctrine4 ,and in  
my conclusion ,i want to draw you a few 
pictures of the ,christian heaven4  ,but
 before ,i do that ,i want to say the   
rest ,i have to say about ,moses4  ,i   
want you to understand that the ,bible  
was never printed until #adhh4  ,i want 
you to know that up to that time it was 
in manuscript1 in possession of those   
who could change it if they wished2 and 
they did change it1 because no two ever 
agreed4 ,much of it was in the waste    
basket of credulity1 in the open mouth  
of tradition1 and in the dull ear of    
memory4  ,i want you also to know that  
the ,jews themselves never agreed as to 
what books were inspired1 and that there
 were a lot of books written that were  
not incorporated in the ,old ,testament4
  ,i want you to know that two or three 
years before ,christ1 the ,hebrew       
manuscript was translated into ,greek1  
and that the original from which the    

translation was made1 has never been    
seen since4  ,some ,latin ,bibles were  
found in ,africa but no two agreed2 and 
then they translated the ,septuagint    
into the languages of ,europe1 and no   
two agreed4  ,henry ,,viii4 took a      
little time between murdering his wives 
to see that the ,word of ,god was       
translated correctly4  ,you must        
recollect that we are indebted to       
murderers for our ,bibles and our       
creeds4 ,constantine1 who helped on the 
good work in its early stage1 murdered  
his wife and child1 mingling their blood
 with the blood of the ,savior4  ,the   
,bible that ,henry ,,viii4 got up did   
not suit1 and then his daughter1 the    
murderess of ,mary1 ,queen of ,scots1   
got up another edition1 which also did  
not suit2 and finally1 that             
philosophical idiot1 ,king ,james1      
prepared the edition which we now have4 
,there are at least one hundred thousand
 errors in the ,old ,testament1 but     
everybody sees that it is not enough to 

invalidate its claim to infallibility4  
,but these errors are gradually being   
fixed1 and hereafter the prophet will be
 fed by ,arabs instead of ravens1 and   
,samson's three hundred foxes will be   
three hundred sheaves already bound1    
which were fired and thrown into the    
standing wheat4  ,i want you all to know
 that there was no contemporaneous      
literature at the time the ,bible was   
composed1 and that the ,jews were       
infinitely ignorant in their day and    
generation--that they were isolated by  
bigotry and wickedness from the rest of 
the world4  ,i want you to know that    
there are fourteen hundred millions of  
people in the world2 and that with all  
the talk and work of the societies1 only
 one hundred and twenty millions have   
got ,bibles4  ,i want you to understand 
that not one person in one hundred in   
this world ever read the ,bible1 and no 
two ever understood it alike who did    
read it1 and that no one person probably
 ever understood it aright4  ,i want you

 to understand that where this ,bible   
has been1 man has hated his             
brother--there have been dungeons1      
racks1 thumbscrews1 and the sword4 ,i   
want you to know that the cross has been
 in partnership with the sword1 and that
 the religion of ,jesus ,christ was     
established by murderers1 tyrants and   
hypocrites4  ,i want you to know that   
the church carried the black flag4 ,then
 talk about the civilizing influence of 
this religion6  ,now1 ,i want to give an
 idea or two in regard to the           
,christian's heaven4 ,of all the selfish
 things in this world1 it is one man    
wanting to get to heaven1 caring nothing
 what becomes of the rest of mankind4   
,if ,i can only get my little soul in4  
,i have always noticed that the people  
who have the smallest souls make the    
most fuss about getting them saved4     
,here is what we are taught by the      
church today4  ,we are taught by it that
 fathers and mothers1 brothers and      
sisters can all be happy in heaven1 no  

matter who may be in hell2 that the     
husband can be happy there with the wife
 that would have died for him at any    
moment of his life1 in hell4  ,but they 
say1 ,we don't believe in fire4 ,what we
 believe in now is remorse4  ,what will 
you have remorse for8 ,for the mean     
things you have done when you are in    
hell8  ,will you have any remorse for   
the mean things you have done when you  
are in heaven8 ,or will you be so good  
then that you won't care how you used to
 be8 ,don't you see what an infinitely  
mean belief that is8  ,i tell you today 
that1 no matter in what heaven you may  
be1 no matter in what star you are      
spending the summer1 if you meet another
 man whom you have wronged you will drop
 a little behind in the tune4  ,and1 no 
matter in what part of hell you are1 and
 you meet some one whom you have        
succored1 whose nakedness you have      
clothed1 and whose famine you have fed1 
the fire will cool up a little4         
,according to this ,christian doctrine1 

when you are in heaven you won't care   
how mean you were once4  ,what must be  
the social condition of a gentleman in  
heaven who will admit that he never     
would have been there if he had not got 
scared8  ,what must be the social       
position of an angel who will always    
admit that if another had not pitied him
 he ought to have been damned8  ,is it a
 compliment to an infinite ,god to say  
that every being ,he ever made deserved 
to be damned the minute ,he got him     
done1 and that ,he will damn everybody  
,he has not had a chance to make over4  
,is it possible that somebody else can  
be good for me1 and that this doctrine  
of the atonement is the only anchor for 
the human soul8  ,for instance3 here is 
a man seventy years of age1 who has been
 a splendid fellow and lived according  
to the laws of nature4  ,he has got     
about him splendid children whom he has 
loved and cared for with all his heart4 
,but he did not happen to believe in    
this ,bible2 he did not believe in the  

,pentateuch4  ,he did not believe that  
because some children made fun of a     
gentleman who was short of hair1 ,god   
sent two bears and tore the little      
darlings to pieces4  ,he had a tender   
heart1 and he thought about the mothers 
who would take the pieces1 the bloody   
fragments of the children1 and press    
them to their bosom in a frenzy of      
grief2 he thought about their wails and 
lamentations1 and could not believe that
 ,god was such an infinite monster4     
,that was all he thought1 but he went to
 ,hell4  ,then1 there is another man who
 made a hell on earth for his wife1 who 
had to be taken to the insane asylum1   
and his children were driven from home  
and were wanderers and vagrants in the  
world4  ,but just between the last sin  
and the last breath1 this fellow got    
religion1 and he never did another thing
 except to take his medicine4  ,he never
 did a solitary human being a favor1 and
 he died and went to heaven4  ,don't you
 think he would be astonished to see    

that other man in hell1 and say to      
himself1 ,is it possible that such a    
splendid character should bear such     
fruit1 and that all my rascality at last
 has brought me next to ,god8  ,or1 let 
us put another case4  ,you were once    
alone in the desert--no provisions1 no  
water1 no hope1 just when your life was 
at its lowest ebb a man appeared1 gave  
you water and food and brought you      
safely out4 ,how you would bless that   
man4  ,time rolls on4  ,you die and go  
to heaven2 and one day you see through  
the black night of hell1 the friend who 
saved your life1 begging for a drop of  
water to cool his parched lips4 ,he     
cries to you1 ,remember what ,i did in  
the desert--give me to drink4 ,how mean1
 how contemptible you would feel to see 
his suffering and be unable to relieve  
him4  ,but this is the ,christian       
heaven4  ,we sit by the fireside and see
 the flames and the sparks fly up the   
chimney--everybody happy1 and the cold  
wind and sleet are beating on the       

window1 and out on the doorstep is a    
mother with a child on her breast       
freezing4  ,how happy it makes a        
fireside1 that beautiful contrast4  ,and
 we say1  ,god is good1 and there we    
sit1 and she sits and moans1 not one    
night but forever4  ,or we are sitting  
at the table with our wives and         
children1 everybody eating1 happy and   
delighted2 and ,famine comes and pushes 
out its shriveled palms1 and1 with      
hungry eyes1 implores us for a crust4   
,how that would increase the appetite6  
,and yet that is the ,christian heaven4 
,don't you see that these infamous      
doctrines petrify the human heart8  ,and
 ,i would have everyone who hears me1   
swear that he will never contribute     
another dollar to build another church  
in which is taught such infamous lies4  
,i want everyone of you to say1 that you
 never will1 directly or indirectly1    
give a dollar to any man to preach that 
falsehood4  ,it has done harm enough4   
,it has covered the world with blood4   

,it has filled the asylums for the      
insane4  ,it has cast a shadow in the   
heart1 in the sunlight of every good and
 tender man and woman4  ,i say let us   
rid the heavens of this monster1 and    
write upon the dome ,liberty1 love and  
law4  ,no matter what may come to me or 
what may come to you1 let us do exactly 
what we believe to be right1 and let us 
give the exact thought in our brains4   
,rather than have this ,christianity    
true1 ,i would rather all the gods would
 destroy themselves this morning4  ,i   
would rather the whole universe would go
 to nothing1 if such a thing were       
possible1 this instant4  ,rather than   
have the glittering dome of pleasure    
reared on the eternal abyss of pain1 ,i 
would see the utter and eternal         
destruction of this universe4  ,i would 
rather see the shining fabric of our    
universe crumble to unmeaning chaos1 and
 take itself where oblivion broods and  
memory forgets4  ,i would rather the    
blind ,samson of some imprisoned force1 

released by thoughtless chance1 should  
so rack and strain this world that man  
in stress and strain1 in astonishment   
and fear1 should suddenly fall back to  
savagery and barbarity4  ,i would rather
 that this thrilled and thrilling globe1
 shorn of all life1 should in its cycles
 rub the wheel1 the parent star1 on     
which the light should fall as          
fruitlessly as falls the gaze of love on
 death1 than to have this infamous      
doctrine of eternal punishment true2    
rather than have this infamous          
selfishness of a heaven for a few and a 
hell for the many established as the    
word of ,god4  ,one world at a time is  
my doctrine4  ,let us make some one     
happy here4 ,happiness is the interest  
that a decent action draws1 and the more
 decent actions you do1 the larger your 
income will be4  ,let every man try to  
make his wife happy1 his children happy4
  ,let every man try to make every day a
 joy1 and ,god cannot afford to damn    
such a man4 ,i cannot help ,god2 ,i     

cannot injure ,god4  ,i can help people2
 ,i can injure people4  ,consequently   
humanity is the only real religion4  ,i 
cannot better close this lecture than by
 quoting four lines from ,robert ,burns3
                ,to make a happy        
fireside clime                ,to weans 
and wife--                ,that's the   
true pathos and sublime                 
,of human life4      ,,ingersoll',s     
,,lecture ,,on ,,skulls1--,and ,his     
,replies ,to ,prof4 ,swing1 ,dr4        
,collyer1 ,and ,other                   
,critics--,reprinted from ,the ,chicago 
,times4   ,ladies and ,gentlemen3 ,man  
advances just in the proportion that he 
mingles his thoughts with his           
labor--just in the proportion that he   
takes advantage of the forces of nature2
 just in proportion as he loses         
superstition and gains confidence in    
himself4  ,man advances as he ceases to 
fear the gods and learns to love his    
fellow-men4  ,it is all1 in my judgment1
 a question of intellectual development4

  ,tell me the religion of any man and  
,i will tell you the degree he marks on 
the intellectual thermometer of the     
world4  ,it is a simple question of     
brain4  ,those among us who are the     
nearest barbarism have a barbarian      
religion4  ,those who are nearest       
civilization have the least             
superstition4  ,it is1 ,i say1 a simple 
question of brain1 and ,i want1 in the  
first place1 to lay the foundation to   
prove that assertion4  ,a little while  
ago ,i saw models of nearly everything  
that man has made4 ,i saw models of all 
the water craft1 from the rude dug-out  
in which floated a naked savage--one of 
our ancestors--a naked savage1 with     
teeth twice as long as his forehead was 
high1 with a spoonful of brains in the  
back of his orthodox head--,i saw models
 of all the water craft of the world1   
from that dug-out up to a man-of-war    
that carries a hundred guns and miles of
 canvas2 from that dug-out to the       
steamship that turns its brave prow from

 the port of ,new ,york with a compass  
like a conscience1 crossing three       
thousand miles of billows without       
missing a throb or beat of its mighty   
iron heart from shore to shore4  ,and ,i
 saw at the same time the paintings of  
the world1 from the rude daub of yellow 
mud to the landscapes that enrich       
palaces and adorn houses of what were   
once called the common people4  ,i saw  
also their sculpture1 from the rude god 
with four legs1 a half dozen arms1      
several noses1 and two or three rows of 
ears1 and one little1 contemptible1     
brainless head1 up to the figures of    
today1--to the marbles that genius has  
clad in such a personality that it seems
 almost impudent to touch them without  
an introduction4 ,i saw their           
books--books written upon the skins of  
wild beasts--upon shoulder-blades of    
sheep--books written upon leaves1 upon  
bark1 up to the splendid volumes that   
enrich the libraries of our day4  ,when 
,i speak of libraries ,i think of the   

remark of ,plato3 ,a house that has a   
library in it has a soul4  ,i saw at the
 same time the offensive weapons that   
man has made1 from a club1 such as was  
grasped by that same savage when he     
crawled from his den in the ground and  
hunted a snake for his dinner2 from that
 club to the boomerang1 to the sword1 to
 the cross-bow1 to the blunderbuss1 to  
the flintlock1 to the caplock1 to the   
needle-gun1 up to a cannon cast by      
,krupp1 capable of hurling a ball       
weighing two thousand pounds through    
eighteen inches of solid steel4  ,i saw 
too1 the armor from the shell of a      
turtle that one of our brave ancestors  
lashed upon his breast when he went to  
fight for his country1 the skin of a    
porcupine1 dried with the quills on1    
which this same savage pulled over his  
orthodox head1 up to the shirts of mail 
that were worn in the middle ages1 that 
laughed at the edge of the sword and    
defied the point of the spear2 up to a  
monitor clad in complete steel4  ,and ,i

 say orthodox not only in the matter of 
religion1 but in everything4  ,whoever  
has quit growing1 he is orthodox1       
whether in art1 politics1 religion1     
philosophy--no matter what4  ,whoever   
thinks he has found it all out he is    
orthodox4  ,orthodoxy is that which     
rots1 and heresy is that which grows    
forever4  ,orthodoxy is the night of the
 past1 full of the darkness of          
superstition1 and heresy is the eternal 
coming day1 the light of which strikes  
the grand foreheads of the intellectual 
pioneers of the world4  ,i saw their    
implements of agriculture1 from the plow
 made of a crooked stick1 attached to   
the horn of an ox by some twisted straw1
 with which our ancestors scraped the   
earth1 and from that to the agricultural
 implements of this generation1 that    
make it possible for a man to cultivate 
the soil without being an ignoramus4    
,in the old time there was but one crop2
 and when the rain did not come in      
answer to the prayer of hypocrites a    

famine came and people fell upon their  
knees4  ,at that time they were full of 
superstition4 ,they were frightened all 
the time for fear that some god would be
 enraged at his poor1 hapless1 feeble   
and starving children4  ,but now1       
instead of depending upon one crop they 
have several1 and if there is not rain  
enough for one there may be enough for  
another4  ,and if the frosts kill all1  
we have railroads and steamship--enough 
to bring what we need from some other   
part of the world4  ,since man has found
 out something about agriculture1 the   
gods have retired from the business of  
producing famines4  ,i saw at the same  
time their musical instruments1 from the
 tomtom--that is1 a hoop with a couple  
of strings of rawhide drawn across      
it--from that tom-tom1 up to the        
instruments we have today1 that make the
 common air blossom with melody1 and ,i 
said to myself there is a regular       
advancement4  ,i saw at the same time a 
row of human skulls1 from the lowest    

skull that has been found1 the          
,neanderthal skull--skulls from ,central
 ,africa1 skulls from the bushmen of    
,australia--skulls from the farthest    
isles of the ,pacific ,sea--up to the   
best skulls of the last generation--and 
,i noticed that there was the same      
difference between those skulls that    
there was between the products of those 
skulls1 and ,i said to myself3 ,after   
all1 it is a simple question of         
intellectual development4  ,there was   
the same difference between those       
skulls1 the lowest and highest skulls1  
that there was between the dug-out and  
the man-of-war and the steamship1       
between the club and the ,krupp gun1    
between the yellow daub and the         
landscape1 between the tom-tom and an   
opera by ,verdi4  ,the first and lowest 
skull in this row was the den in which  
crawled the base and meaner instincts of
 mankind1 and the last was a temple in  
which dwelt joy1 liberty and love4  ,and
 ,i said to myself1 it is all a question

 of intellectual development4  ,man has 
advanced just as he has mingled his     
thought with his labor4 ,as he has grown
 he has taken advantage of the forces of
 nature2 first of the moving wind1 then 
of the falling water and finally of     
steam4  ,from one step to another he has
 obtained better houses1 better clothes1
 and better books1 and he has done it by
 holding out every incentive to the     
ingenious to produce them4  ,the world  
has said1 give us better clubs and guns 
and cannons with which to kill our      
fellow ,christians4  ,and whoever will  
give us better weapons and better music1
 and better houses to live in1 we will  
robe him in wealth crown him in honor1  
and render his name deathless4  ,every  
incentive was held out to every human   
being to improve these things1 and that 
is the reason we have advanced in all   
mechanical arts4  ,but that gentleman in
 the dugout not only had his ideas about
 politics1 mechanics1 and agriculture2  
he had his ideas also about religion4   

,his idea about politics was ,might     
makes right4  ,it will be thousands of  
years1 may be1 before mankind will      
believe in the saying that right makes  
might4  ,he had his religion4  ,that low
 skull was a devil factory4  ,he        
believed in ,hell1 and the belief was a 
consolation to him4  ,he could see the  
waves of ,god's wrath dashing against   
the rocks of dark damnation4  ,he could 
see tossing in the whitecaps the faces  
of women1 and stretching above the      
crests the dimpled hands of children2   
and he regarded these things as the     
justice and mercy of ,god4  ,and all    
today who believe in this eternal       
punishment are the barbarians of the    
nineteenth century4  ,that man believed 
in a devil1 that had a long tail        
terminating with a fiery dart2 that had 
wings like a bat--a devil that had a    
cheerful habit of breathing brimstone1  
that had a cloven foot1 such as some    
orthodox clergymen seem to think ,i     
have4  ,and there has not been a        

patentable improvement made upon that   
devil in all the years since4  ,the     
moment you drive the devil out of       
theology1 there is nothing left worth   
speaking of4  ,the moment they drop the 
devil1 away goes atonement4  ,the moment
 they kill the devil1 their whole scheme
 of salvation has lost all of its       
interest for mankind4  ,you must keep   
the devil and1 you must keep ,hell4     
,you must keep the devil1 because with  
no devil no priest is necessary4 ,now1  
all ,i ask is this--the same privilege  
to improve upon his religion as upon his
 dug-out1 and that is what ,i am going  
to do1 the best ,i can4 ,no matter what 
church you belong to1 or what church    
belongs to us4  ,let us be honor bright 
and fair4  ,i want to ask you3 ,suppose 
the king1 if there was one1 and the     
priest if there was one at that time1   
had told these gentlemen in the dug-out3
 ,that dug-out is the best boat that can
 be built by man2 the pattern of that   
came from on high1 from the great ,god  

of storm and flood1 and any man who says
 he can improve it by putting a stick in
 the middle of it and a rag on the      
stick1 is an infidel1 and shall be      
burned at the stake2 what1 in your      
judgment--honor bright--would have been 
the effect upon the circumnavigation of 
the globe8  ,suppose the king1 if there 
was one1 and the priest1 if there was   
one--and ,i presume there was a priest1 
because it was a very ignorant          
age--suppose the king and priest had    
said3 ,the tomtom is the most beautiful 
instrument of music of which any man can
 conceive2 that is the kind of music    
they have in ,heaven2 an angel sitting  
upon the edge of a glorified cloud1     
golden in the setting sun1 playing upon 
that tom-tom1 became so enraptured1 so  
entranced with her own music1 that in a 
kind of ecstasy she dropped it--that is 
how we obtained it2 and any man who says
 it can be improved by putting a back   
and front to it1 and four strings1 and a
 bridge1 and getting a bow of hair with 

rosin1 is a blaspheming wretch1 and     
shall die the death1--,i ask you1 what  
effect would that have had upon music8  
,if that course had been pursued1 would 
the human ears1 in your judgment1 ever  
have been enriched with the divine      
symphonies of ,beethoven8 ,suppose the  
king1 if there was one1 and the priest1 
had said ,that crooked stick is the best
 plow that can be invented1 the pattern 
of that plow was given to a pious farmer
 in an exceedingly holy dream1 and that 
twisted straw is the ne plus ultra of   
all twisted things1 and any man who says
 he can make an improvement upon that   
plow1 is an atheist2 what1 in your      
judgment1 would have been the effect    
upon the science of agriculture8  ,now1 
all ,i ask is the same privilege to     
improve upon his religion as upon his   
mechanical arts4  ,why don't we go back 
to that period to get the telegraph8    
,because they were barbarians4  ,and    
shall we go to barbarians to get our    
religion8  ,what is religion8  ,religion

 simply embraces the duty of man to man4
  ,religion is simply the science of    
human duty and the duty of man to       
man--that is what it is4 ,it is the     
highest science of all4  ,and all other 
sciences are as nothing1 except as they 
contribute to the happiness of man4     
,the science of religion is the highest 
of all1 embracing all others4  ,and     
shall we go to the barbarians to learn  
the science of sciences8  ,the          
nineteenth century knows more about     
religion than all the centuries dead4   
,there is more real charity in the world
 today than ever before4 ,there is more 
thought today than ever before4  ,woman 
is glorified today as she never was     
before in the history of the world4     
,there are more happy families now than 
ever before--more children treated as   
though they were tender blossoms than as
 though they were brutes than in any    
other time or nation4  ,religion is     
simply the duty a man owes to man2 and  
when you fall upon your knees and pray  

for something you know not of1 you      
neither benefit the one you pray for nor
 yourself4 ,one ounce of restitution is 
worth a million of repentances anywhere1
 and a man will get along faster by     
helping himself a minute than by praying
 ten years for somebody to help him4    
,suppose you were coming along the      
street1 and found a party of men and    
women on their knees praying to a bank1 
and you asked them1 ,have any of you    
borrowed any money of this bank8 ,no1   
but our fathers1 they1 too1 prayed to   
this bank4  ,did they ever get any8 ,no1
 not that we ever heard of4 ,i would    
tell them to get up4 ,it is easier to   
earn it1 and it is far more manly4  ,our
 fathers in the good old times1--and the
 best that ,i can say of the good old   
times is that they are gone1 and the    
best ,i can say of the good old people  
that lived in them is that they are     
gone1 too--believed that you made a man 
think your way by force4  ,well1 you    
can't do it4 ,there is a splendid       

something in man that says3 ,i won't2 ,i
 won't be driven4  ,but our fathers     
thought men could be driven4  ,they     
tried it in the good old times4  ,i used
 to read about the manner in which the  
early ,christians made converts--how    
they impressed upon the world the idea  
that ,god loved them4  ,i have read it1 
but it didn't burn into my soul4  ,i    
didn't think much about it--,i heard so 
much about being fried forever in ,hell 
that it didn't seem so bad to burn a few
 minutes4  ,i love liberty and ,i hate  
all persecutions in the name of ,god4 ,i
 never appreciated the infamies that    
have been committed in the name of      
religion until ,i saw the iron arguments
 that ,christians used4 ,i saw1 for     
instance1 the thumb-screw1 two little   
innocent looking pieces of iron1 armed  
with some little protuberances on the   
inner side to keep it from slipping     
down1 and through each end a screw1 and 
when some man had made some trifling    
remark1 for instance1 that he never     

believed that ,god made a fish swallow a
 man to keep him from drowning1 or      
something like that1 or1 for instance1  
that he didn't believe in baptism4  ,you
 know that is very wrong4  ,you can see 
for yourself the justice of damning a   
man if his parents happened to baptize  
him in the wrong way--,god cannot afford
 to break a rule or two to save all the 
men in the world4  ,i happened to be in 
the company of some ,baptist ministers  
once--you may wonder how ,i happened to 
be in such company as that--and one of  
them asked me what ,i thought about     
baptism4  ,well1 ,i told them ,i hadn't 
thought much about it--that ,i had never
 sat up nights on that question4 ,i     
said3 ,baptism--with soap--is a good    
institution4 ,now1 when some man had    
said some trifling thing like that1 they
 put this thumb-screw on him1 and in the
 name of universal benevolence and for  
the love of ,god--man has never         
persecuted man for the love of man2 man 
has never persecuted another for the    

love of charity--it is always for the   
love of something he calls ,god1 and    
every man's idea of ,god is his own     
idea4  ,if there is an infinite ,god1   
and there may be--,i don't know--there  
may be a million for all ,i know--,i    
hope there is more than one--one seems  
so lonesome4  ,they kept turning this   
down1 and when this was done1 most men  
would say3 ,i will recant4 ,i think1 ,i 
would4  ,there is not much of the martyr
 about me4  ,i would have told them3    
,now you write it down1 and ,i will sign
 it4  ,you may have one ,god or a       
million1 one ,hell or a million4 ,you   
stop that--,i am tired4  ,do you know1  
sometimes ,i have thought that all the  
hypocrites in the world are not worth   
one drop of honest blood4  ,i am sorry  
that any good man ever died for         
religion4  ,i would rather let them     
advance a little easier4  ,it is too bad
 to see a good man sacrificed for a lot 
of wild beasts and cattle4  ,but there  
is now and then a man who would not     

swerve the breadth of a hair4  ,there   
was now and then a sublime heart willing
 to die for an intellectual conviction1 
and had it not been for these men we    
would have been wild beasts and savages 
today4 ,there were some men who would   
not take it back1 and had it not been   
for a few such brave1 heroic souls in   
every age we would have been cannibals1 
with pictures of wild beasts tattooed   
upon our breasts1 dancing around some   
dried-snake fetish4  ,and so they turned
 it down to the last thread of agony1   
and threw the victim into some dungeon1 
where1 in the throbbing silence and     
darkness1 he might suffer the agonies of
 the fabled damned4 ,this was done in   
the name of love1 in the name of mercy1 
in the name of the compassionate        
,christ4  ,and the men that did it are  
the men that made our ,bible for us4  ,i
 saw1 too1 at the same time1 the ,collar
 of torture4  ,imagine a circle of iron1
 and on the inside a hundred points     
almost as sharp as needles4 ,this       

argument was fastened about the throat  
of the sufferer4  ,then he could not    
walk nor sit down1 nor stir without the 
neck being punctured by these points4   
,in a little while the throat would     
begin to swell1 and suffocation would   
end the agonies of that man4  ,this man1
 it may be1 had committed the crime of  
saying1 with tears upon his cheeks1  ,i 
do not believe that ,god1 the father of 
us all1 will damn to eternal perdition  
any of the children of men4 ,and that   
was done to convince the world that ,god
 so loved the world that ,he died for   
us4  ,that was in order that people     
might hear the glad tidings of great joy
 to all people4  ,i saw another         
instrument1 called the scavenger's      
daughter4  ,imagine a pair of shears    
with handles1 not only where they now   
are1 but at the points as well and just 
above the pivot that unites the blades a
 circle of iron4  ,in the upper handles 
the hands would be placed2 in the lower1
 the feet2 and through the iron ring1 at

 the centre1 the head of the victim     
would be forced1 and in that position   
the man would be thrown upon the earth1 
and the strain upon the muscle would    
produce such agony that insanity took   
pity4  ,and this was done to keep people
 from going to ,hell--to convince that  
man that he had made a mistake in his   
logic--and it was done1 too1 by         
,protestants--,protestants that         
persecuted to the extent of their power1
 and that is as much as ,catholicism    
ever did4 ,they would persecute now if  
they had the power4 ,there is not a man 
in this vast audience who will say that 
the church should have temporal power4  
,there is not one of you but what       
believes in the eternal divorce of      
church and state4  ,is it possible that 
the only people who are fit to go to    
heaven are the only people not fit to   
rule mankind8  ,i saw at the same time  
the rack4  ,this was a box like the bed 
of a wagon1 with a windlass at each end1
 and ratchets to prevent slipping4 ,over

 each windlass went chains1 and when    
some man had1 for instance1 denied the  
doctrine of the trinity1 a doctrine it  
is necessary to believe in order to get 
to ,heaven--but1 thank the ,lord1 you   
don't have to understand it4  ,this man 
merely denied that three times one was  
one1 or maybe he denied that there was  
ever any ,son in the world exactly as   
old as his father1 or that there ever   
was a boy eternally older than his      
mother--then they put that man on the   
rack4  ,nobody had ever been persecuted 
for calling ,god bad--it has always been
 for calling him good4  ,when ,i stand  
here to say that1 if there is a ,hell1  
,god is a fiend1 they say that is very  
bad4  ,they say ,i am trying to tear    
down the institutions of public virtue4 
,but let me tell you one thing3 there is
 no reformation in fear--you can scare a
 man so that he won't do it sometimes1  
but ,i will swear you can't scare him so
 bad that he won't want to do it4  ,then
 they put this man on the rack and      

priests began turning these levers1 and 
kept turning until the ankles1 the hips1
 the shoulders1 the elbows1 the wrists1 
and all the joints of the victim were   
dislocated1 and he was wet with agony1  
and standing by was a physician to feel 
his pulse4  ,what for8  ,to save his    
life8  ,yes4  ,in mercy8  ,no4 ,but in  
order that they might have the pleasure 
of racking him once more4 ,and this was 
the ,christian spirit4  ,this was done  
in the name of civilization1 in the name
 of religion1 and all these wretches who
 did it died in peace4  ,there is not an
 orthodox preacher in the city that has 
not a respect for every one of them4    
,as1 for instance1 for ,john ,calvin1   
who was a murderer and nothing but a    
murderer1 who would have disgraced an   
ordinary gallows by being hanged upon   
it4 ,these men when they came to die    
were not frightened4  ,god did not send 
any devils into their death-rooms to    
make mouths at them4   ,he reserved them
 for ,voltaire1 who brought religious   

liberty to ,france4  ,he reserved them  
for ,thomas ,paine1 who did more for    
liberty than all the churches4  ,but all
 the inquisitors died with the white    
hands of peace folded over the breast of
 piety4  ,and when they died1 the room  
was filled with the rustle of the wings 
of angels1 waiting to bear the wretches 
to ,heaven4  ,when ,i read these        
frightful books it seems to me sometimes
 as though ,i had suffered all these    
things myself4  ,it seems sometimes as  
though ,i had stood upon the shore of   
exile1 and gazed with tearful eyes      
toward home and native land2 it seems to
 me as though ,i had been staked out    
upon the sands of the sea1 and drowned  
by the inexorable1 advancing tide2 as   
though my nails had been torn from my   
hands1 and into the bleeding quick      
needles had been thrust2 as though my   
feet had been crushed in iron boots2 as 
though ,i had been chained in the cell  
of ,inquisition1 and listened with dying
 ears for the coming footsteps of       

release2 as though ,i had stood upon the
 scaffold and saw the glittering axe    
fall upon me2 as though ,i had been upon
 the rack and had seen1 bending above   
me1 the white faces of hypocrite        
priests2 as though ,i had been taken    
from my fireside1 from my wife and      
children1 taken to the public square1   
chained2 as though fagots had been piled
 about me2 as though the flames had     
climbed around my limbs and scorched my 
eyes to blindness1 and as though my     
ashes had been scattered to the four    
winds by all the countless hands of     
hate4  ,and1 while ,i so feel1 ,i swear 
that while ,i live ,i will do what      
little ,i can to augment the liberties  
of man1 woman and child4  ,i denounce   
slavery and superstition everywhere4 ,i 
believe in liberty1 and happiness1 and  
love1 and joy in this world4 ,i am      
amazed that any man ever had the        
impudence to try and do another man's   
thinking4  ,i have just as good a right 
to talk theology as a minister4  ,if    

they all agreed ,i might admit it was a 
science1 but as all disagree1 and the   
more they study the wider they get      
apart1 ,i may be permitted to suggest1  
it is not a science4  ,when no two will 
tell you the road to ,heaven1--that is1 
giving you the same route--and if you   
would inquire of them all1 you would    
just give up trying to go there1 and say
 ,i may as well stay where ,i am1 and   
let the ,lord come to me4  ,do you know 
that this world has not been fit for a  
lady and gentleman to live in for       
twenty-five years1 just on account of   
slavery4  ,it was not until the year    
#ahjh that ,great ,britain abolished the
 slave trade1 and up to that time her   
judges1 her priests occupying her       
pulpits1 the members of the royal       
family1 owned stock in the slave ships1 
and luxuriated upon the profits of      
piracy and murder4  ,it was not until   
the same year that the ,united ,states  
of ,america abolished the slave trade   
between this and other countries1 but   

carefully preserved it as between the   
states4  ,it was not until the #bhth day
 of ,august1 #ahcc1 that ,great ,britain
 abolished human slavery in her         
colonies2 and it was not until the #ast 
day of ,january1 #ahfc1 that ,abraham   
,lincoln1 sustained by the sublime and  
heroic ,north1 rendered our flag pure as
 the sky in which it floats4  ,abraham  
,lincoln was1 in my judgment1 in many   
respects1 the grandest man ever         
president of the ,united ,states4 ,upon 
his monument these words should be      
written3 ,here sleeps the only man in   
the history of the world1 who1 having   
been clothed with almost absolute power1
 never abused it1 except upon the side  
of mercy4  ,for two hundred years the   
,christians of the ,united ,states      
deliberately turned the cross of ,christ
 into a whipping-post4  ,christians bred
 hounds to catch other ,christians4     
,let me show you what the ,bible has    
done for mankind3 ,servants1 be obedient
 to your masters4 ,the only word coming 

from that sweet ,heaven was1 ,servants1 
obey your masters4 ,frederick ,douglas  
told me that he had lectured upon the   
subject of freedom twenty years before  
he was permitted to set his foot in a   
church4  ,i tell you the world has not  
been fit to live in for twenty-five     
years4  ,then all the people used to    
cringe and crawl to preachers4 ,mr4     
,buckle1 in his history of civilization1
 shows that men were even struck dead   
for speaking impolitely to a priest4    
,god would not stand it4  ,see how they 
used to crawl before cardinals1 bishops 
and popes4 ,it is not so now4 ,before   
wealth they bowed to the very earth1 and
 in the presence of titles they became  
abject4  ,all this is slowly1 but surely
 changing4  ,we no longer bow to men    
simply because they are rich4 ,our      
fathers worshiped the golden calf4  ,the
 worst you can say of an ,american now  
is1 he worships the gold of the calf4   
,even the calf is beginning to see this 
distinction4  ,the time will come when  

no matter how much money a man has1 he  
will not be respected unless he is using
 it for the benefit of his fellow-men4  
,it will soon be here4  ,it no longer   
satisfies the ambition of a great man to
 be king or emperor4  ,the last         
,napoleon was not satisfied with being  
the emperor of the ,french4  ,he was not
 satisfied with having a circlet of gold
 about his head4  ,he wanted some       
evidence that he had something of value 
within his head4  ,so he wrote the life 
of ,julius ,caesar1 that he might become
 a member of the ,french academy4 ,the  
emperors1 the kings1 the popes1 no      
longer tower above their fellows4       
,compare1 for instance1 ,king ,william  
and ,helmholtz4  ,the king is one of the
 anointed by the ,most ,high1 as they   
claim--one upon whose head has been     
poured the divine petroleum of          
authority4  ,compare this king with     
,helmholtz1 who towers an intellectual  
,colossus above the crowned mediocrity4 
,compare ,george ,eliot with ,queen     

,victoria4  ,the queen is clothed in    
garments given her by blind fortune and 
unreasoning chance1 while ,george ,eliot
 wears robes of glory woven in the loom 
of her own genius4  ,and so it is the   
world over4  ,the time is coming when a 
man will be rated at his real worth1 and
 that by his brain and heart4  ,we care 
nothing now about an officer unless he  
fills his place4  ,no matter if he is   
president1 if he rattles in the place   
nobody cares anything about him4  ,i    
might give you an instance in point1 but
 ,i won't4 ,the world is getting better 
and grander and nobler every day4  ,now1
 if men have been slaves1 if they have  
crawled in the dust before one another1 
what shall ,i say of women8  ,they have 
been the slaves of men4  ,it took       
thousands of ages to bring women from   
abject slavery up to the divine height  
of marriage4  ,i believe in marriage4   
,if there is any ,heaven upon earth1 it 
is in the family by the fireside and the
 family is a unit of government4        

,without the family relation that is    
tender1 pure and true1 civilization is  
impossible4  ,ladies1 the ornaments you 
wear upon your persons tonight are but  
the souvenirs of your mother's bondage4 
,the chains around your necks2 and the  
bracelets clasped upon your white arms  
by the thrilled hand of love1 have been 
changed by the wand of civilization from
 iron to shining1 glittering gold4      
,nearly every civilization in this world
 accounts for the devilment in it by the
 crimes of woman4  ,they say woman      
brought all the trouble into the world4 
,i don't care if she did4 ,i would      
rather live in a world full of trouble  
with the women ,i love1 than to live in 
,heaven with nobody but men4  ,i read in
 a book an account of the creation of   
the world4  ,the book ,i have taken     
pains to say was not written by any     
,god4  ,and why do ,i say so8 ,because  
,i can write a far better book myself4  
,because it is full of barbarism4       
,several ministers in this city have    

undertaken to answer me--notably those  
who don't believe the ,bible themselves4
  ,i want to ask these men one thing4   
,i want them to be fair4  ,every        
minister in the ,city of ,chicago that  
answers me1 and those who have answered 
me had better answer me again--,i want  
them to say1 and without any sort of    
evasion--without resorting to any pious 
tricks--,i want them to say whether they
 believe that the ,eternal ,god of this 
universe ever upheld the crime of       
polygamy4  ,say it square and fair4     
,don't begin to talk about that being a 
peculiar time1 and that ,god was easy on
 the prejudices of those old fellows4   
,i want them to answer that question and
 to answer it squarely1 which they      
haven't done4  ,did this ,god1 which you
 pretend to worship1 ever sanction the  
institution of human slavery8  ,now1    
answer fair4  ,don't slide around it4   
,don't begin and answer what a bad man  
,i am1 nor what a good man ,moses was4  
,stick to the text4  ,do you believe in 

a ,god that allowed a man to be sold    
from his children8  ,do you worship such
 an infinite monster8  ,and if you do1  
tell your congregation whether you are  
not ashamed to admit it4  ,let every    
minister who answers me again tell      
whether he believes ,god commanded his  
general to kill the little dimpled babe 
in the cradle4 ,let him answer it4      
,don't say that those were very bad     
times4 ,tell whether ,he did it or not1 
and then your people will know whether  
to hate that ,god or not4  ,be honest4  
,tell them whether that ,god in war     
captured young maidens and turned them  
over to the soldiers2 and then ask the  
wives and sweet girls of your           
congregation to get down on their knees 
and worship the infinite fiend that did 
that thing4  ,answer6  ,it is your ,god 
,i am talking about1 and if that is what
 ,god did1 please tell your congregation
 what1 under the same circumstances1 the
 devil would have done4  ,don't tell    
your people that is a poem4  ,don't tell

 your people that is pictorial4 ,that   
won't do4  ,tell your people whether it 
is true or false4  ,that is what ,i want
 you to do4  ,in this book ,i read about
 ,god's making the world and one man4   
,that is all ,he intended to make4  ,the
 making of woman was a second thought1  
though ,i am willing to admit that as a 
rule second thoughts are best4 ,this    
,god made a man and put him in a public 
park4  ,in a little while ,he noticed   
that the man got lonesome2 then ,he     
found ,he had made a mistake1 and that  
,he would have to make somebody to keep 
him company4 ,but having used up all the
 nothing ,he originally used in making  
the world and one man1 ,he had to take a
 part of a man to start a woman with4   
,so ,he causes sleep to fall on this    
man--now understand me1 ,i do not say   
this story is true4  ,after the sleep   
had fallen on this man the ,supreme     
,being took a rib1 or1 as the ,french   
would call it1 a cutlet1 out of him1 and
 from that ,he made a woman2 and ,i am  

willing to swear1 taking into account   
the amount and quality of the raw       
material used1 this was the most        
magnificent job ever accomplished in    
this world4  ,well1 after ,he got the   
woman done she was brought to the man1  
not to see how she liked him1 but to see
 how he liked her4 ,he liked her and    
they started housekeeping1 and they were
 told of certain things they might do   
and of one thing they could not do--and 
of course they did it4  ,i would have   
done it in fifteen minutes1 ,i know it4 
,there wouldn't have been an apple on   
that tree half an hour from date1 and   
the limbs would have been full of clubs4
  ,and then they were turned out of the 
park and extra policemen were put on to 
keep them from getting back4  ,and then 
trouble commenced and we have been at it
 ever since4  ,nearly all the religions 
of this world account for the existence 
of evil by such a story as that4  ,well1
 ,i read in another book what appeared  
to be an account of the same            

transaction4  ,it was written about four
 thousand years before the other4 ,all  
commentators agree that the one that was
 written last was the original1 and the 
one that was written first was copied   
from the one that was written last4     
,but ,i would advise you all not to     
allow your creed to be disturbed by a   
little matter of four or five thousand  
years4 ,it is a great deal better to be 
mistaken in dates than to go to the     
devil4  ,in this other account the      
,supreme ,brahma made up his mind to    
make the world and a man and woman4  ,he
 made the world and he made the man and 
then the woman1 and put them on the     
,island of ,ceylon4 ,according to the   
account it was the most beautiful island
 of which man can conceive4  ,such      
birds1 such songs1 such flowers1 and    
such verdure6 ,and the branches of the  
trees were so arranged that when the    
wind swept through them every tree was a
 thousand aeolian harps4  ,brahma1 when 
he put them there1 said3 ,let them have 

a period of courtship1 for it is my     
desire and will that true love should   
forever precede marriage4 ,when ,i read 
that1 it was so much more beautiful and 
lofty than the other1 that ,i said to   
myself3 ,if either one of these stories 
ever turns out to be true1 ,i hope it   
will be this one4  ,then they had their 
courtship1 with the nightingale singing 
and the stars shining and the flowers   
blooming1 and they fell in love4        
,imagine that courtship6  ,no           
prospective fathers or mothers-in-law2  
no prying and gossiping neighbors2      
nobody to say1 ,young man1 how do you   
expect to support her8  ,nothing of that
 kind1 nothing but the nightingale      
singing its song of joy and pain1 as    
though the thorn already touched its    
heart4 ,they were married by the        
,supreme ,brahma1 and he said to them1  
,remain here2 you must never leave this 
island4 ,well1 after a little while the 
man--and his name was ,adami1 and the   
woman's name was ,heva--said to ,heva3  

,i believe ,i'll look about a little4   
,he wanted to go ,west4  ,he went to the
 western extremity of the island where  
there was a little narrow neck of land  
connecting it with the mainland1 and the
 devil1 who is always playing pranks    
with us1 produced a mirage1 and when he 
looked over to the mainland1 such hills 
and vales1 such dells and dales1 such   
mountains crowned with snow1 such       
cataracts clad in bows of glory did he  
see there1 that he went back and told   
,heva3 ,the country over there is a     
thousand times better than this1 let us 
migrate4  ,she1 like every other woman  
that ever lived1 said3 ,let well enough 
alone we have all we want2 let us stay  
here4  ,but he said3 ,no1 let us go2 so 
she followed him1 and when they came to 
this narrow neck of land1 he took her on
 his back like a gentleman1 and carried 
her over4  ,but the moment they got     
over1 they heard a crash1 and1 looking  
back1 discovered that this narrow neck  
of land had fallen into the sea4 ,the   

mirage had disappeared1 and there was   
naught but rocks and sand1 and the      
,supreme ,brahma cursed them both to the
 lowest ,hell4  ,then it was that the   
man spoke--and ,i have liked him ever   
since for it--,curse me1 but curse not  
her2 it was not her fault1 it was mine4 
,that's the kind of a man to start a    
world with4  ,the ,supreme ,brahma said3
 ,i will save her but not thee4  ,and   
she spoke out of her fullness of love1  
out of a heart in which there was love  
enough to make all her daughters rich in
 holy affection1 and said3 ,if thou wilt
 not spare him1 spare neither me4  ,i do
 not wish to live without him1 ,i love  
him4  ,then the ,supreme ,brahma        
said--and ,i have liked him ever since  
,i read it--,i will spare you both1 and 
watch over you and your children        
forever4  ,honor bright1 is that not the
 better and grander story8  ,and in that
 same book ,i find this ,man is         
strength1 woman is beauty2 man is       
courage1 woman is love4  ,when the one  

man loves the one woman1 and the one    
woman loves the one man1 the very angels
 leave ,heaven1 and come and sit in that
 house1 and sing for joy4  ,in the same 
book this3 ,blessed is that man1 and    
beloved of all the gods1 who is afraid  
of no man1 and of whom no man is afraid4
  ,magnificent character6  ,a missionary
 certainly ought to talk to that man4   
,and ,i find this3 ,never will ,i accept
 private1 individual salvation1 but     
rather will ,i stay and work1 strive and
 suffer1 until every soul from every    
star has been brought home to ,god4     
,compare that with the ,christian that  
expects to go to ,heaven while the world
 is rolling over ,niagara to an eternal 
and unending ,hell4  ,so ,i say that    
religion lays all the crime and troubles
 of this world at the beautiful feet of 
woman4  ,and then the church has the    
impudence to say that it has exalted    
women4 ,i believe that marriage is a    
perfect partnership2 that woman has     
every right that man has--and one       

more--the right to be protected4 ,above 
all men in the world ,i hate a stingy   
man--a man that will make his wife beg  
for money4  ,what did you do with the   
dollar ,i gave you last week8  ,and what
 are you going to do with this8  ,it is 
vile4 ,no gentleman will ever be        
satisfied with the love of a beggar and 
a slave--no gentleman will ever be      
satisfied except with the love of an    
equal4  ,what kind of children does a   
man expect to have with a beggar for    
their mother8  ,a man can not be so poor
 but that he can be generous1 and if you
 only have one dollar in the word and   
you have got to spend it1 spend it like 
a lord--spend it as though it were a dry
 leaf1 and you the owner of unbounded   
forests--spend it as though you had a   
wilderness of your own4 ,that's the way 
to spend it4  ,i had rather be a beggar 
and spend my last dollar like a king1   
than be a king and spend my money like a
 beggar4  ,if it has got to go1 let it  
go4 ,and this is my advice to the poor4 

,for you can never be so poor that      
whatever you do you can't do in a grand 
and manly way4  ,i hate a cross man4    
,what right has a man to assassinate the
 joy of life8 ,when you go home you     
ought to go like a ray of light--so that
 it will1 even in the night1 burst out  
of the doors and windows and illuminate 
the darkness4 ,some men think their     
mighty brains have been in a turmoil2   
they have been thinking about who will  
be ,alderman from the ,fifth ,ward2 they
 have been thinking about politics1     
great and mighty questions have been    
engaging their minds1 they have bought  
calico at five cents or six1 and want to
 sell it for seven4  ,think of the      
intellectual strain that must have been 
upon that man1 and when he gets home    
everybody else in the house must look   
out for his comfort4  ,a woman who has  
only taken care of five or six children1
 and one or two of them sick1 has been  
nursing them and singing to them1 and   
trying to make one yard of cloth do the 

work of two1 she1 of course1 is fresh   
and fine and ready to wait upon this    
gentleman--the head of the family--the  
boss4  ,i was reading the other day of  
an apparatus invented for the ejecting  
of gentlemen who subsist upon free      
lunches4  ,it is so arranged that when  
the fellow gets both hands into the     
victuals1 a large hand descends upon    
him1 jams his hat over his eyes--he is  
seized1 turned toward the door1 and just
 in the nick of time an immense boot    
comes from the other side1 kicks him in 
italics1 sends him out over the sidewalk
 and lands him rolling in the gutter4   
,i never hear of such a man--a          
boss--that ,i don't feel as though that 
machine ought to be brought into        
requisition for his benefit4  ,love is  
the only thing that will pay ten per    
cent of interest on the outlay4  ,love  
is the only thing in which the height of
 extravagance is the last degree of     
economy4  ,it is the only thing1 ,i tell
 you4 ,joy is wealth4  ,love is the     

legal tender of the soul--and you need  
not be rich to be happy4  ,we have all  
been raised on success in this country4 
,always been talked with about being    
successful1 and have never thought      
ourselves very rich unless we were the  
possessors of some magnificent mansion1 
and unless our names have been between  
the putrid lips of rumor we could not be
 happy4  ,every little boy is striving  
to be this and be that4  ,i tell you the
 happy man is the successful man4  ,the 
man that has won the love of one good   
woman is a successful man4  ,the man    
that has been the emperor of one good   
heart1 and that heart embraced all his1 
has been a success4  ,if another has    
been the emperor of the round world and 
has never loved and been loved1 his life
 is a failure4 ,it won't do4 ,let us    
teach our children the other way1 that  
the happy man is the successful man1 and
 he who is a happy man is the one who   
always tries to make some one else      
happy4  ,the man who marries a woman to 

make her happy2 that marries her as much
 for her own sake as for his own2 not   
the man that thinks his wife is his     
property1 who thinks that the title to  
her belongs to him--that the woman is   
the property of the man2 wretches who   
get mad at their wives and then shoot   
them down in the street because they    
think the woman is their property4  ,i  
tell you it is not necessary to be rich 
and great and powerful to be happy4  ,a 
little while ago ,i stood by the grave  
of the old ,napoleon--a magnificent tomb
 of gilt and gold1 fit almost for a dead
 deity--and gazed upon the sarcophagus  
of black ,egyptian marble1 where rest at
 last the ashes of the restless man4  ,i
 leaned over the balustrade and thought 
about the career of the greatest soldier
 of the modern world4 ,i saw him walk   
upon the banks of the ,seine1           
contemplating suicide--,i saw him at    
,toulon--,i saw him putting down the mob
 in the streets of ,paris--,i saw him at
 the head of the army of ,italy--,i saw 

him crossing the bridge of ,lodi with   
the tri-color in his hand--,i saw him in
 ,egypt in the shadows of the           
pyramids--,i saw him conquer the ,alps  
and mingle the eagles of ,france with   
the eagles of the crags4 ,i saw him at  
,marengo--at ,ulm and ,austerlitz4  ,i  
saw him in ,russia1 where the infantry  
of the snow and the cavalry of the wild 
blast scattered his legions like        
,winter's withered leaves4  ,i saw him  
at ,leipzig in defeat and               
disaster--driven by a million bayonets  
back upon ,paris--clutched like a wild  
beast--banished to ,elba4  ,i saw him   
escape and retake an empire by the force
 of his genius4  ,i saw him upon the    
frightful field of ,waterloo1 where     
chance and fate combined to wreck the   
fortunes of their former king4  ,and ,i 
saw him at ,st4 ,helena1 with his hands 
crossed behind him1 gazing out upon the 
sad and solemn sea4  ,i thought of the  
orphans and widows he had made--of the  
tears that had been shed for his glory1 

and of the only woman who ever loved    
him1 pushed from his heart by the cold  
hand of ambition4 ,and ,i said ,i would 
rather have been a ,french peasant and  
worn wooden shoes4  ,i would rather have
 lived in a hut with a vine growing over
 the door1 and the grapes growing purple
 in the kisses of the ,autumn sun2 ,i   
would rather have been that poor peasant
 with my loving wife by my side1        
knitting as the day died out of the sky1
 with my children upon my knees and     
their arms about me2 ,i would rather    
have been that man and gone down to the 
tongueless silence of the dreamless dust
 than to have been that imperial        
impersonation of force and murder1 known
 as ,napoleon the ,great4  ,it is not   
necessary to be rich in order to be     
happy4  ,it is only necessary to be in  
love4 ,thousands of men go to college   
and get a certificate that they have an 
education1 and that certificate is in   
,latin and they stop studying1 and in   
two years1 to save their life1 they     

couldn't read the certificate they got4 
,it is mostly so in marrying4  ,they    
stop courting when they get married4    
,they think1 we have won her and that is
 enough4  ,ah6 the difference before and
 after6  ,how well they look6  ,how     
bright their eyes6  ,how light their    
steps1 and how full they were of        
generosity and laughter6 ,i tell you a  
man should consider himself in good luck
 if a woman loves him when he is doing  
his level best6  ,good luck6  ,good     
luck6 ,and another thing that is the    
cause of much trouble is that people    
don't count fairly4  ,they do what they 
call putting their best foot forward4   
,that means lying a little4  ,i say put 
your worst foot forward4  ,if you have  
got any faults admit them4  ,if you     
drink say so and quit it4  ,if you chew 
and smoke and swear1 say so4  ,if some  
of your kindred are not very good       
people1 say so4  ,if you have had two or
 three that died on the gallows1 or that
 ought to have died there1 say so4      

,tell all your faults and if after she  
knows your faults she says she will have
 you1 you have got the dead wood on that
 woman forever4  ,i claim that there    
should be perfect equality in the home1 
and ,i can not think of anything nearer 
,heaven than a home where there is true 
republicanism and true democracy at the 
fireside4  ,all are equal4  ,and then1  
do you know1 ,i like to think that love 
is eternal2 that if you really love the 
woman1 for her sake1 you will love her  
no matter what she may do2 that if she  
really loves you1 for your sake1 the    
same2 that love does not look at        
alterations1 through the wrinkles of    
time1 through the mask of years--if you 
really love her you will always see the 
face you loved and won4  ,and ,i like to
 think of it4 ,if a man loves a woman   
she does not ever grow old to him4  ,and
 the woman who really loves a man does  
not see that he is growing older4 ,he is
 not decrepit to her4 ,he is not        
tremulous4  ,he is not old4  ,he is not 

bowed4  ,she always sees the same       
gallant fellow that won her hand and    
heart4  ,i like to think of it in that  
way1 and as ,shakespeare says3 ,let     
,time reach with his sickle as far as   
ever he can2 although he can reach ruddy
 cheeks and ripe lips1 and flashing     
eyes1 he can not quite reach love4  ,i  
like to think of it4  ,we will go down  
the hill of life together1 and enter the
 shadow one with the other1 and as we go
 down we may hear the ripple of the     
laughter of our grandchildren1 and the  
birds1 and spring1 and youth1 and love  
will sing once more upon the leafless   
branches of the tree of age4  ,i love to
 think of it in that way--absolute      
equals1 happy1 happy1 and free1 all our 
own4  ,but some people say3 ,would you  
allow a woman to vote8  ,yes1 if she    
wants to2 that is her business1 not     
mine4  ,if a woman wants to vote1 ,i am 
too much of a gentleman to say she shall
 not4  ,but1 they say1 woman has not    
sense enough to vote4  ,it don't take   

much4  ,but it seems to me there are    
some questions1 as for instance1 the    
question of peace or war1 that a woman  
should be allowed to vote upon4  ,a     
woman that has sons to be offered on the
 altar of that ,moloch1 it seems to me  
that such a woman should have as much   
right to vote upon the question of peace
 and war as some thrice-besotted sot    
that reels to the ballot box and        
deposits his vote for war4  ,but if     
women have been slaves1 what shall we   
say of the little children1 born in the 
sub-cellars1 children of poverty1       
children of crime1 children of wealth1  
children that are afraid when they hear 
their names pronounced by the lips of   
their mother1 children that cower in    
fear when they hear the footsteps of    
their brutal father1 the flotsam and    
jetsam upon the rude sea of life1 my    
heart goes out to them one and all4     
,children have all the rights that we   
have and one more1 and that is to be    
protected4  ,treat your children in that

 way4  ,suppose your child tells a lie4 
,don't pretend that the whole world is  
going into bankruptcy4 ,don't pretend   
that that is the first lie ever told4   
,tell them1 like an honest man1 that you
 have told hundreds of lies yourself1   
and tell the dear little darling that it
 is not the best way2 that it soils the 
soul4  ,think of the man that deals in  
stocks whipping his children for putting
 false rumors afloat6  ,think of an     
orthodox minister whipping his own flesh
 and blood1 for not telling all it      
thinks6 ,think of that6  ,think of a    
lawyer for beating his child for        
avoiding the truth6 when the old man    
makes about half his living that way4   
,a lie is born of weakness on one side  
and tyranny on the other4 ,that is what 
it is4  ,think of a great big man coming
 at a little bit of a child with a club 
in his hand6  ,what is the little       
darling to do8 ,lie1 of course4  ,i     
think that mother ,nature put that      
ingenuity into the mind of the child1   

when attacked by a parent1 to throw up a
 little breastwork in the shape of a lie
 to defend itself4  ,when a great       
general wins a battle by what they call 
strategy1 we build monuments to him4    
,what is strategy8  ,lies4 ,suppose a   
man as much larger than we are as we are
 larger than a child five years of age1 
should come at us with a liberty pole in
 his hand1 and in tones of thunder want 
to know who broke that plate1 there     
isn't one of us1 not excepting myself1  
that wouldn't swear that we never had   
seen that plate in our lives1 or that it
 was cracked when we got it4  ,another  
good way to make children tell the truth
 is to tell it yourself4 ,keep your word
 with your child the same as you would  
with your banker4 ,if you tell a child  
you will do anything1 either do it or   
give the child the reason why4  ,truth  
is born of confidence4  ,it comes from  
the lips of love and liberty4  ,i was   
over in ,michigan the other day4 ,there 
was a boy over there at ,grand ,rapids  

about five or six years old1 a nice1    
smart boy1 as you will see from the     
remark he made--what you might call a   
nineteenth century boy4  ,his father and
 mother had promised to take him out    
riding4  ,they had promised to take him 
out riding for about three weeks1 and   
they would slip off and go without him4 
,well1 after while that got kind of     
played out with the little boy1 and the 
day before ,i was there they played the 
trick on him again4 ,they went out and  
got the carriage1 and went away1 and as 
they rode away from the front of the    
house1 he happened to be standing there 
with his nurse1 and he saw them4 ,the   
whole thing flashed on him in a moment4 
,he took in the situation1 and turned to
 his nurse and said1 pointing to his    
father and mother1 ,there go the two    
d--t liars in the ,state of ,michigan6  
,when you go home fill the house with   
joy1 so that the light of it will stream
 out the windows and doors1 and         
illuminate even the darkness4 ,it is    

just as easy that way as any in the     
world4  ,i want to tell you tonight that
 you can not get the robe of hypocrisy  
on you so thick that the sharp eye of   
childhood will not see through every    
veil1 and if you pretend to your        
children that you are the best man that 
ever lived--the bravest man that ever   
lived--they will find you out every     
time4  ,they will not have the same     
opinion of father when they grow up that
 they used to have4  ,they will have to 
be in mighty bad luck if they ever do   
meaner things than you have done4 ,when 
your child confesses to you that it has 
committed a fault1 take that child in   
your arms1 and let it feel your heart   
beat against its heart1 and raise your  
children in the sunlight of love1 and   
they will be sunbeams to you along the  
pathway of life4  ,abolish the club and 
the whip from the house1 because1 if the
 civilized use a whip1 the ignorant and 
the brutal will use a club1 and they    
will use it because you use the whip4   

,every little while some door is thrown 
open in some orphan asylum1 and there we
 see the bleeding back of a child       
whipped beneath the roof that was raised
 by love4  ,it is infamous1 and a man   
that can't raise a child without the    
whip ought not to have a child4  ,if    
there is one of you here that ever      
expect to whip your child again1 let me 
ask you something4 ,have your photograph
 taken at the time and let it show your 
face red with vulgar anger1 and the face
 of the little one with eyes swimming in
 tears1 and the little chin dimpled with
 fear1 looking like a piece of water    
struck by a sudden cold wind4 ,if that  
little child should die1 ,i can not     
think of a sweeter way to spend an      
,autumn afternoon than to take that     
photograph and go to the cemetery1 when 
the maples are clad in tender gold1 and 
when little scarlet runners are coming  
from the sad heart of the earth1 and sit
 down upon that mound1 and look upon    
that photograph1 and think of the flesh1

 now dust1 that you beat4  ,just think  
of it4  ,i could not bear to die in the 
arms of a child that ,i had whipped4 ,i 
could not bear to feel upon my lips1    
when they were withered beneath the     
touch of death1 the kiss of one that ,i 
had struck4  ,some ,christians act as   
though they really thought that when    
,christ said1 ,suffer little children to
 come unto me1 ,he had a rawhide under  
,his coat4  ,they act as though they    
really thought that ,he made that remark
 simply to get the children within      
striking distance4  ,i have known       
,christians to turn their children from 
their doors1 especially a daughter1 and 
then get down on their knees and pray to
 ,god to watch over them and help them4 
,i will never ask ,god to help my       
children unless ,i am doing my level    
best in that same wretched line4  ,i    
will tell you what ,i say to my girls3  
,go where you will2 do what crime you   
may2 fall to what depth of degradation  
you may2 in all the storms and winds and

 earthquakes of life1 no matter what you
 do1 you never can commit any crime that
 will shut my door1 my arms or my heart 
to you4 ,as long as ,i live you have one
 sincere friend4  ,call me an atheist2  
call me an infidel because ,i hate the  
,god of the ,jew--which ,i do4  ,i      
intend so to live that when ,i die my   
children can come to my grave and       
truthfully say3 ,he who sleeps here     
never gave us one moment of pain4  ,when
 ,i was a boy there was one day in each 
week too good for a child to be happy   
in4  ,in these good old times ,sunday   
commenced when the sun went down on     
,saturday night and closed when the sun 
went down on ,sunday night4  ,we        
commenced ,saturday to get a good ready4
  ,and when the sun went down ,saturday 
night there was a gloom deeper than     
midnight that fell upon the house4  ,you
 could not crack hickory nuts then4     
,and if you were caught chewing gum1 it 
was only another evidence of the total  
depravity of the human heart4  ,well1   

after a while we got to bed sadly and   
sorrowfully after having heard ,heaven  
thanked that we were not all in ,hell4  
,and ,i sometimes used to wonder how the
 mercy of ,god lasted as long as it did1
 because ,i recollected that on several 
occasions ,i had not been at school1    
when ,i was supposed to be there4  ,why 
,i was not burned to a crisp was a      
mystery to me4  ,the next morning we got
 ready for church--all solemn1 and when 
we got there the minister was up in the 
pulpit1 about twenty feet high1 and he  
commenced at ,genesis about ,the fall of
 man1 and he went on to about twenty    
thirdly2 then he struck the second      
application1 and when he struck the     
application ,i knew he was about half   
way through4  ,and then he went on to   
show the scheme how the ,lord was       
satisfied by punishing the wrong man4   
,nobody but a ,god would have thought of
 that ingenious way4  ,well1 when he got
 through that1 then came the            
catechism--the chief end of man4  ,then 

my turn came1 and we sat along on a     
little bench where our feet came within 
about fifteen inches of the floor1 and  
the dear old minister used to ask us3   
,boys1 do you know that you ought to be 
in ,hell8  ,and we answered up as       
cheerfully as could be expected under   
the circumstances4  ,yes1 sir4  ,well1  
boys1 do you know that you would go to  
,hell if you died in your sins8  ,and we
 said3 ,yes1 sir4  ,and then came the   
great test3  ,boys--,i can't get the    
tone1 you know4  ,and do you know that  
is how the preachers get the bronchitis4
  ,you never heard of an auctioneer     
getting the bronchitis1  nor the second 
mate on a steamboat--never4 ,what gives 
it to the minister is talking solemnly  
when they don't feel that way1 and it   
has the same influence upon the organs  
of speech that it would have upon the   
cords of the calves of your legs to walk
 on your tip-toes1 and so ,i call       
bronchitis parsonitis4  ,and if the     
ministers would all tell exactly what   

they think they would all get well1 but 
keeping back a part of the truth is what
 gives them bronchitis4  ,well the old  
man--the dear old minister--used to try 
and show us how long we would be in     
,hell if we would only locate there4    
,but to finish the other4  ,the grand   
test question was3  ,boys1 if it was    
,god's will that you should go to ,hell1
 would you be willing to go8  ,and every
 little liar said3  ,yes1 sir4  ,then1  
in order to tell how long we would stay 
there1 he used to say3  ,suppose once in
 a billion ages a bird should come from 
a far distant clime and carry off in its
 bill one little grain of sand1 the time
 would finally come when the last grain 
of sand would be carried away4 ,do you  
understand8  ,yes1 sir4  ,boys1 by that 
time it would not be sun-up in ,hell4   
,where did that doctrine of ,hell come  
from8  ,i will tell you2 from that      
fellow in the dug-out4  ,where did he   
get it8  ,it was a souvenir from the    
wild beasts4  ,yes1 ,i tell you he got  

it from the wild beasts1 from the       
glittering eye of the serpent1 from the 
coiling1 twisting snakes with their     
fangs mouths2 and it came from the bark1
 growl and howl of wild beasts2 it was  
born of a laugh of the hyena and got it 
from the depraved chatter of malicious  
apes4  ,and ,i despise it with every    
drop of my blood and defy it4  ,if there
 is any ,god in this universe who will  
damn his children for an expression of  
an honest thought ,i wish to go to      
,hell4  ,i would rather go there than go
 to heaven and keep the company of a    
,god that would thus damn his children4 
,oh it is an infamous doctrine to teach 
that to little children1 to put a shadow
 in the heart of a child to fill the    
insane asylums with that miserable1     
infamous lie4  ,i see now and then a    
little girl--a dear little darling1 with
 a face like the light1 and eyes of joy1
 a human blossom1 and ,i think1 is it   
possible that little girl will ever grow
 up to be a ,presbyterian8  ,is it      

possible1 my goodness1 that that flower 
will finally believe in the five points 
of ,calvinism or in the eternal         
damnation of man8  ,is it possible that 
that little fairy will finally believe  
that she could be happy in ,heaven with 
her baby in ,hell8  ,think of it6       
,think of it6 ,and that is the          
,christian religion6  ,we cry out       
against the ,indian mother that throws  
her child into the ,ganges1 to be       
devoured by the alligator or crocodile1 
but that is joy in comparison with the  
,christian mother's hope1 that she may  
be in salvation while her brave boy is  
in ,hell4  ,i tell you ,i want to kick  
the doctrine about ,hell--,i want to    
kick it out every time ,i go by it4  ,i 
want to get ,americans in this country  
placed so they will be ashamed to preach
 it4  ,i want to get the congregations  
so that they won't listen to it4  ,we   
cannot divide the world off into saints 
and sinners in that way4  ,there is a   
little girl1 fair as a flower1 and she  

grows up until she is twelve1 thirteen1 
or fourteen years old4  ,are you going  
to damn her in the fifteenth1 sixteenth 
or seventeenth year1 when the arrow from
 ,cupid's bow touches her heart and she 
is glorified--are you going to damn her 
now8  ,she marries and loves1 and holds 
in her arms a beautiful child8  ,are you
 going to damn her now8 ,when are you   
going to damn her8  ,because she has    
listened to some ,methodist minister and
 after all that flood of light failed to
 believe8 ,are you going to damn her    
then8  ,i tell you ,god can not afford  
to damn such a woman4  ,a woman in the  
,state of ,indiana forty or fifty years 
ago who carded the wool and made rolls  
and spun them1 and made the cloth and   
cut out the clothes for the children1   
and nursed them1 and sat up with them   
nights and--gave them medicine1 and held
 them in her arms and wept over         
them--cried for joy and wept for fear1  
and finally raised ten or eleven good   
men and women with the ruddy glow of    

health upon their cheeks1 and she would 
have died for any one of them any moment
 of her life1 and finally she1 bowed    
with age and bent with care and labor1  
dies1 and at the moment the magical     
touch of death is upon her face1 she    
looks as though she never had had a     
care1 and her children burying her cover
 her face with tears4  ,do you tell me  
,god can afford to damn that kind of a  
woman8 ,one such act of injustice would 
turn ,heaven itself into ,hell4 ,if     
there is any ,god1 sitting above him in 
infinite serenity we have the figure of 
justice4  ,even a ,god must do justice2 
even a ,god must worship justice2 and   
any form of superstition that destroys  
justice is infamous6  ,just think of    
teaching that doctrine to little        
children6  ,a little child would go out 
into the garden1 and there would be a   
little tree laden with blossoms1 and the
 little fellow would lean against it1   
and there would be a bird on one of the 
boughs1 singing and swinging1 and       

thinking about four little speckled     
eggs1 warmed by the breast of its       
mate--and singing and swinging1 and the 
music in in happy waves rippling out of 
the tiny throat1 and the flowers        
blossoming1 the air filled with perfume1
 and the great white clouds floating in 
the sky1 and the little boy would lean  
up against the tree and think about     
,hell and the worm that never dies4     
,oh6 the idea there can be any day too  
good for a child to be happy in6  ,well1
 after we got over the catechism1 then  
came the sermon in the afternoon1 and it
 was exactly like the one in the        
forenoon1 except the other end to4      
,then we started for home--a solemn     
march--not a soldier discharged his     
farewell shot--and when we got home1 if 
we had been really good boys1 we used to
 be taken up to the cemetery to cheer us
 up1 and it always did cheer me1 those  
sunken graves1 those leaning stones1    
those gloomy epitaphs covered with the  
moss of years always cheered me4 ,when  

,i looked at them ,i said3 ,well1 this  
kind of thing can't last always4  ,then 
we came back home1 and we had books to  
read which were very eloquent and       
amusing4  ,we had ,josephus1 and the    
,history of the ,waldenses1 and ,fox's  
,book of ,martyrs1  ,baxter's ,saint's  
,rest1 and ,jenkyn on the ,atonement4 ,i
 used to read ,jenkyn with a good deal  
of pleasure1 and ,i often thought that  
the atonement would have to be very     
broad in its provisions to cover the    
case of a man that would ,i write such a
 book for boys4  ,then ,i would look to 
see how the sun was getting on1 and     
sometimes ,i thought it had stuck from  
pure cussedness4  ,then ,i would go back
 and try ,jenkyn's again4  ,well1 but it
 had to go down1 and when the last rim  
of light sank below the horizon1 off    
would go our hats and we would give     
three cheers for liberty once again4  ,i
 tell you1 don't make slaves of your    
children on ,sunday4  ,the idea that    
there is any ,god that hates to hear a  

child laugh6  ,let your children play   
games on ,sunday4  ,here is a poor man  
that hasn't money enough to go to a big 
church and he has too much independence 
to go to a little church that the big   
church built for charity4  ,he doesn't  
want to slide into ,heaven that way4  ,i
 tell you don't come to church1 but go  
to the woods and take your family and a 
lunch with you1 and sit down upon the   
old log and let the children gather     
flowers and hear the leaves whispering  
poems like memories of long ago1 and    
when the sun is about going down1       
kissing the summits of far hills1 go    
home with your hearts filled with throbs
 of joy4  ,there is more recreation and 
joy in that than going to a dry goods   
box with a steeple on top of it and     
hearing a man tell you that your chances
 are about ninety-nine to one for being 
eternally damned4  ,let us make this    
,sunday a day of splendid pleasure1 not 
to excess1 but to everything that makes 
man purer and grander and nobler4  ,i   

would like to see now something like    
this3 ,instead of so many churches1 a   
vast cathedral that would hold twenty or
 thirty thousands of people1 and ,i     
would like to see an opera produced in  
it that would make the souls of men have
 higher and grander and nobler aims4  ,i
 would like to see the walls covered    
with pictures and the niches rich with  
statuary2 ,i would like to see something
 put there that you could use in this   
world now1 and ,i do not believe in     
sacrificing the present to the future2  
,i do not believe in drinking skimmed   
milk here with the promise of butter    
beyond the clouds4  ,space or time can  
not be holy any more than a vacuum can  
be pious4  ,not a bit1 not a bit2 and no
 day can be so holy but what the laugh  
of a child will make it holier still4   
,strike with hand of fire1 on1 weird    
musician1 thy harp1 strung with         
,apollo's golden hair6  ,fill the vast  
cathedral aisles with symphonies sweet  
and dim1 deft toucher of the organ's    

keys2 blow1 bugler1 blow until thy      
silver notes do touch and kiss the      
moonlit waves1 and charm the lovers     
wandering 'mid the vine-clad hills4     
,but know your sweetest strains are     
discords all compared with childhood's  
happy laugh--the laugh that fills the   
eyes with light and every heart with    
joy6  ,o1 rippling river of laughter1   
thou art the blessed boundary line      
between the beasts and men1 and every   
wayward wave of thine doth drown some   
fretful fiend of care4  ,o ,laughter1   
rose lipped daughter of joy1 there are  
dimples enough in thy cheeks to catch   
and hold and glorify all the tears of   
grief4  ,don't plant your children in   
long1 straight rows like posts4  ,let   
them have light and air and let them    
grow beautiful as palms4  ,when ,i was a
 little boy children went to bed when   
they were not sleepy1 and always got up 
when they were4  ,i would like to see   
that changed1 but they say we are too   
poor1 some of us1 to do it4  ,well1 all 

right4 ,it is as easy to wake a child   
with a kiss as with a blow2 with        
kindness as with curse4  ,and1 another  
thing2 let the children eat what they   
want to4 ,let them commence at whichever
 end of the dinner they desire4  ,that  
is my doctrine4  ,they know what they   
want much better than you do4  ,nature  
is a great deal smarter than you ever   
were4  ,all the advance that has been   
made in the science of medicine1 has    
been made by the recklessness of        
patients4  ,i can recollect when they   
wouldn't give a man water in a          
fever--not a drop4  ,now and then some  
fellow would get so thirsty he would say
 ,well1 ,i'll die any way1 so ,i'll     
drink it1 and thereupon he would drink a
 gallon of water1 and thereupon he would
 burst into a generous perspiration1 and
 get well--and the next morning when the
 doctor would come to see him they would
 tell him about the man drinking the    
water1 and he would say3  ,how much8    
,well1 he swallowed two pitchers full4  

,is he alive8  ,yes4  ,so they would go 
into the room and the doctor would feel 
his pulse and ask him3  ,did you drink  
two pitchers of water8  ,yes4  ,my ,god6
 what a constitution you have got4  ,i  
tell you there is something splendid in 
man that will not always mind4 ,why1 if 
we had done as the kings told us five   
hundred years ago1 we would all have    
been slaves4  ,if we had done as the    
priests told us we would all have been  
idiots4  ,if we had done as the doctors 
told us we would all have been dead4    
,we have been saved by disobedience4    
,we have been saved by that splendid    
thing called independence1 and ,i want  
to see more of it1 day after day1 and ,i
 want to see children raised so they    
will have it4  ,that is my doctrine4    
,give the children a chance4 ,be        
perfectly honor bright with them1 and   
they will be your friends when you are  
old4  ,don't try to teach them something
 they can never learn4 ,don't insist    
upon their pursuing some calling they   

have no sort of faculty for4  ,don't    
make that poor girl play ten years on a 
piano when she has no ear for music1 and
 when she has practiced until she can   
play ,bonaparte crossing the ,alps1 and 
you can't tell after she has played it  
whether ,bonaparte ever got across or   
not4  ,men are oaks1 women are vines1   
children are flowers1 and if there is   
any ,heaven in this world1 it is in the 
family4  ,it is where the wife loves the
 husband1 and the husband loves the     
wife1 and where the dimpled arms of     
children are about the necks of both4   
,that is ,heaven1 if there is any--and  
,i do not want any better ,heaven in    
another world than that1 and if in      
another world ,i can not live with the  
ones ,i loved here1 then ,i would rather
 not be there4  ,i would rather resign4 
,well1 my friends1 ,i have some excuses 
to make for the race to which ,i belong4
  ,in the first place1 this world is not
 very well adapted to raising good men  
and good women4  ,it is three times     

better adapted to the cultivation of    
fish than of people4  ,there is one     
little narrow belt running zigzag around
 the world1 in which men and women of   
genius can be raised1 and that is all4  
,it is with man as it is with           
vegetation4  ,in the valley you find the
 oak and elm tossing their branches     
defiantly to the storm1 and as you      
advance up the mountain side the        
hemlock1 the pine1 the birch1 the       
spruce1 the fir1 and finally you come to
 little dwarfed trees1 that look like   
other trees seen through a telescope    
reversed--every limb twisted as through 
pain--getting a scanty subsistence from 
the miserly crevices of the rocks4 ,you 
go on and on1 until at last the highest 
crag is freckled with a kind of moss1   
and vegetation ends4  ,you might as well
 try to raise oaks and elms where the   
mosses grow1 as to raise great men and  
women where their surroundings are      
unfavorable4  ,you must have the proper 
climate and soil4  ,there never has been

 a man or woman of genius from the      
southern hemisphere1 because the ,lord  
didn't allow the right climate to fall  
upon the land4 ,it falls upon the water4
  ,there never was much civilization    
except where there has been snow1 and   
ordinarily decent ,winter4  ,you can't  
have civilization without it4  ,where   
man needs no bedclothes but clouds1     
revolution is the normal condition of   
such a people4  ,it is the ,winter that 
gives us the home2 it is the ,winter    
that gives us the fireside and the      
family relation and all the beautiful   
flowers of love that adorn that         
relation4  ,civilization1 liberty1      
justice1 charity and intellectual       
advancement are all flowers that bloom  
in the drifted snow4  ,you can't have   
them anywhere else1 and that is the     
reason we of the north are civilized1   
and that is the reason that civilization
 has always been with ,winter4  ,that is
 the reason that philosophy has been    
here1 and1 in spite of all our          

superstitions1 we have advanced beyond  
some of the other races1 because we have
 had this assistance of nature1 that    
drove us into the family relation1 that 
made us prudent2 that made us lay up at 
one time for another season of the year4
  ,so there is one excuse ,i have for my
 race4  ,i have got another4  ,i think  
we came from the lower animals4  ,i am  
not dead sure of it1 but think so4      
,when ,i first read about it ,i didn't  
like it4  ,my heart was filled with     
sympathy for those people who have      
nothing to be proud of except ancestors4
  ,i thought how terrible it will be    
upon the nobility of the old world4     
,think of their being forced to trace   
their ancestry back to the ,duke        
,orang-,outang or to the ,princess      
,chimpanzee4  ,after thinking it all    
over ,i came to the conclusion that ,i  
liked that doctrine4  ,i became         
convinced in spite of myself4 ,i read   
about rudimentary bones and muscles4  ,i
 was told that everybody had rudimentary

 muscles extending from the ear into the
 cheek4  ,i asked3 ,what are they8  ,i  
was told3 ,they are the remains of      
muscles2 that they became rudimentary   
from the lack of use4  ,they went into  
bankruptcy4  ,they are the muscles with 
which your ancestors used to flap their 
ears4  ,well1 at first1 ,i was greatly  
astonished1 and afterward ,i was more   
astonished to find they had become      
rudimentary4 ,how can you account for   
,john ,calvin unless we came up from the
 lower animals8  ,how could you account 
for a man that would use the extremes of
 torture unless you admit that there is 
in man the elements of a snake1 of a    
vulture1 a hyena1 and a jackal8 ,how can
 you account for the religious creeds of
 today8  ,how can you account for that  
infamous doctrine of ,hell1 except with 
an animal origin8  ,how can you account 
for your conception of a ,god that would
 sell women and babes into slavery8     
,well1 ,i thought that thing over and ,i
 began to like it after a while1 and ,i 

said3 ,it is not so much difference who 
my father was as who his son is4  ,and  
,i finally said ,i would rather belong  
to a race that commenced with the       
skull-less vertebrates in the dim       
,laurentian seas1 that wriggled without 
knowing why they wriggled1 swimming     
without knowing where they were going1  
that come along up by degrees through   
millions of ages1 through all that      
crawls1 and swims1 and floats1 and runs1
 and growls1 and barks1 and howls1 until
 it struck this fellow in the dug-out4  
,and then that fellow in the dugout     
getting a little grander1 and each one  
below calling every one above him a     
heretic1 calling every one who had made 
a little advance an infidel or an       
atheist1 and finally the heads getting a
 little higher and looming up a little  
grander and more splendidly1 and finally
 produced ,shakespeare1 who harvested   
all the field of dramatic thought and   
from whose day until now there have been
 none but gleaners of chaff and straw4  

,shakespeare was an intellectual ocean  
whose waves touched all the shores of   
human thought1 within which were all the
 tides and currents and pulses upon     
which lay all the lights and shadows1   
and over which brooded all the calms1   
and swept all the storms and tempests of
 which the soul is capable4  ,i would   
rather belong to that race that         
commenced with that skull-less          
vertebrate2 that produced ,shakespeare1 
a race that has before it an infinite   
future1 with the angel of progress      
leaning from the far horizon1 beckoning 
men forward and upward forever4  ,i     
would rather belong to that race than to
 have descended from a perfect pair upon
 which the ,lord has lost money every   
moment from that day to this4  ,now1 my 
crime has been this3 ,i have insisted   
that the ,bible is not the word of ,god4
  ,i have insisted that we should not   
whip our children4 ,i have insisted that
 we should treat our wives as loving    
equals4  ,i have denied that ,god--if   

there is any ,god--ever upheld polygamy 
and slavery4 ,i have denied that that   
,god ever told his generals to kill     
innocent babes and tear and rip open    
women with the sword of war4  ,i have   
denied that and for that ,i have been   
assailed by the clergy of the ,united   
,states4  ,they tell me ,i have         
misquoted2 and ,i owe it to you1 and    
maybe ,i owe it to myself1 to read one  
or two words to you upon this subject4  
,in order to do that ,i shall have to   
put on my glasses2 and that brings me   
back to where ,i started--that man has  
advanced just in proportion as his      
thought has mingled with his labor4 ,if 
man's eyes hadn't failed he would never 
have made any spectacles1 he would never
 have had the telescope1 and he would   
never have been able to read the leaves 
of ,heaven4      ,,col4 ,,ingersoll',s  
,,reply ,,to ,,dr4 ,,collyer4    ,now1  
they tell me--and there are several     
gentlemen who have spoken on this       
subject--the ,rev4 ,mr4 ,collyer1 a     

gentleman standing as high as anybody1  
and ,i have nothing to say against      
him--because ,i denounced ,god who      
upheld murder1 and slavery and polygamy1
 he said that what ,i said was slang4   
,i would like to have it compared with  
any sermon that ever issued from the    
lips of that gentleman4  ,and before he 
gets through he admits that the ,old    
,testament is a rotten tree that will   
soon fall into the earth and act as a   
fertilizer for his doctrine4  ,is it    
honest in that man to assail my motive8 
,let him answer my argument6  ,is it    
honest and fair in him to say ,i am     
doing a certain thing because it is     
popular8  ,has it got to this1 that1 in 
this ,christian country1 where they have
 preached every day hundreds and        
thousands of sermons--has it got to this
 that infidelity is so popular in the   
,united ,states8  ,if it has1 ,i take   
courage4  ,and ,i not only see the dawn 
of a brighter day1 but the day is here4 
,think of it6  ,a minister tells me in  

this year of grace1 #ahgi1 that a man is
 an infidel simply that he may be       
popular4  ,i am glad of it4  ,simply    
that he may make money4  ,is it possible
 that we can make more money tearing up 
churches than in building them up8  ,is 
it possible that we can make more money 
denouncing the ,god of slavery than we  
can praising the ,god that took liberty 
from man8  ,if so1 ,i am glad4  ,i call 
publicly upon ,robert ,collyer--a man   
for whom ,i have great respect--,i call 
publicly upon ,robert ,collyer to state 
to the people of this city whether he   
believes the ,old ,testament was        
inspired4  ,i call upon him to state    
whether he believes that ,god ever      
upheld these institutions2 whether ,god 
was a polygamist2 whether he believes   
that ,god commanded ,moses or ,joshua or
 any one else to slay little children in
 the cradle4  ,do you believe that      
,robert ,collyer would obey such an     
order8  ,do you believe that he would   
rush to the cradle and drive the knife  

of theological hatred to the tender     
heart of a dimpled child8 ,and yet when 
,i denounce a ,god that will give such a
 hellish order1 he says it is slang4  ,i
 want him to answer2 and when he answers
 he will say he does not believe the    
,bible is inspired4  ,that is what he   
will say1 and he holds these old        
worthies in the same contempt that ,i   
do4  ,suppose he should act like        
,abraham4  ,suppose he should send some 
woman out into the wilderness with his  
child in her arms to starve1 would he   
think that mankind ought to hold up his 
name forever1 for reverence4  ,robert   
,collyer says that we should read and   
scan every word of the ,old ,testament  
with reverence2 that we should take this
 book up with reverential hands4  ,i    
deny it4  ,we should read it as we do   
every other book1 and everything good in
 it1 keep it and everything that shocks 
the brain and shocks the heart1 throw it
 away4  ,let us be honest4              
,,ingersoll',s ,,reply ,,to ,,prof4     

,,swing    ,prof4 ,swing has made a few 
remarks on this subject1 and ,i say the 
spirit he has exhibited has been as     
gentle and as sweet as the perfume of a 
flower4  ,he was too good a man to stay 
in the ,presbyterian church4 ,he was a  
rose among thistles4  ,he was a dove    
among vultures and they hunted him out1 
and ,i am glad he came out4  ,i tell all
 the churches to drive all such men out1
 and when he comes ,i want him to state 
just what he thinks4  ,i want him to    
tell the people of ,chicago whether he  
believes the ,bible is inspired in any  
sense except that in which ,shakespeare 
was inspired4  ,honor bright1  ,i tell  
you that all the sweet and beautiful    
things in the ,bible would not make one 
play of ,shakespeare2 all the philosophy
 in the world would not make one scene  
in ,hamlet2 all the beauties of the     
,bible would not make one scene in the  
,midsummer ,night's ,dream2 all the     
beautiful things about woman in the     
,bible would not begin to create such a 

character as ,perditu or ,imogene or    
,miranda4  ,not one4  ,i want him to    
tell whether he believes the ,bible was 
inspired in any other way than          
,shakespeare was inspired4  ,i want him 
to pick out something as beautiful and  
tender as ,burns' poem to ,mary in      
,heaven4 ,i want him to tell whether he 
believes the story about the bears      
eating up children2 whether that is     
inspired4  ,i want him to tell whether  
he considers that a poem or not4  ,i    
want to know if the same ,god made those
 bears that devoured the children       
because they laughed at an old man out  
of hair4  ,i want to know if the same   
,god that did that is the same ,god who 
said1 ,suffer little children to come   
unto me1 for such is the kingdom of     
,heaven4  ,i want him to answer it1 and 
answer it fairly4 ,that is all ,i ask4  
,i want just the fair thing4  ,now1     
sometimes ,mr4 ,swing talks as though he
 believed the ,bible1 and then he talks 
to me as though he didn't believe the   

,bible4  ,the day he made this sermon ,i
 think he did1 just a little1 believe   
it4  ,he is like the man that passed a  
ten dollar counterfeit bill4  ,he was   
arrested and his father went to see him 
and said1 ,john1 how could you commit   
such a crime8  ,how could you bring my  
gray hairs in sorrow to the grave8      
,well1 he says1 father1 ,i'll tell you4 
,i got this bill and some days ,i       
thought it was bad and some days ,i     
thought it was good1 and one day when ,i
 thought it was good ,i passed it4  ,i  
want it distinctly understood that ,i   
have the greatest respect for ,prof4    
,swing1 but ,i want him to tell whether 
the #ajith psalm is inspired4 ,i want   
him to tell whether the passages ,i     
shall afterward read in this book are   
inspired4  ,that is what ,i want4       
,,ingersoll',s ,,reply ,,to ,,brooke    
,,herford1 ,d4,d4    ,then there is     
another gentleman here4  ,his name is   
,herford4  ,he says it is not fair to   
apply the test of truth to the          

,bible--,i don't think it is myself4    
,he says although ,moses upheld slavery1
 that he improved it4 ,they were not    
quite so bad as they were before1 and   
,heaven justified slavery at that time4 
,do you believe that ,god ever turned   
the arms of children into chains of     
slavery8  ,do you believe that ,god ever
 said to a man3 ,you can't have your    
wife unless you will be a slave8  ,you  
can not have your children unless you   
will lose your liberty2 and unless you  
are willing to throw them from your     
heart forever1 you can not be free8 ,i  
want ,mr4 ,herford to state whether he  
loves such a ,god4  ,be honor bright    
about it4  ,don't begin to talk about   
civilization or what the church has done
 or will do4  ,just walk right up to the
 rack and say whether you love and      
worship a ,god that established slavery4
  ,honest6 ,and love and worship a ,god 
that would allow a little babe to be    
torn from the breast of its mother and  
sold into slavery4  ,now tell it fair1  

,mr4 ,herford1 ,i want you to tell the  
ladies in your congregation that you    
believe in a ,god that allowed women to 
be given to the soldiers4 ,tell them    
that1 and then if you say it was not the
 ,god of ,moses1 then don't praise      
,moses any more4  ,don't do it4  ,answer
 these questions4      ,,ingersoll      
,,gatling ,,gun ,,turned ,,on ,,dr4     
,,ryder    ,then here is another        
gentleman1 ,mr4 ,ryder1 the ,rev4 ,mr4  
,ryder1 and he says that ,calvinism is  
rejected by a majority of ,christendom4 
,he is mistaken4  ,there is what they   
call the ,evangelical ,alliance4  ,they 
met in this country in #ahge or #ahgf1  
and there were present representatives  
of all the evangelical churches in the  
world1 and they adopted a creed1 and    
that creed is that man is totally       
depraved4 ,that creed is that there is  
an eternal1 universal ,hell1 and that   
every man that does not believe in a    
certain way is bound to be damned       
forever1 and that there is only one way 

to be saved1 and that is by faith1 and  
by faith alone2 and they would not allow
 anybody to be represented there that   
did not believe that1 and they would not
 allow a ,unitarian there1 and would not
 have allowed ,dr4 ,ryder there1 because
 he takes away from the ,christian world
 the consolation naturally arising from 
the belief in ,hell4  ,dr4 ,ryder is    
mistaken4  ,all the orthodox religion of
 the day is ,calvinism4  ,it believes in
 the fall of man4  ,it believes in the  
atonement4  ,it believes in the eternity
 of ,hell1 and it believes in salvation 
by faith2 that is to say1 by credulity4 
,that is what they believe1 and he is   
mistaken2 and ,i want to tell ,dr4      
,kyder today1 if there is a ,god1 and   
,he wrote the ,old ,testament1 there is 
a ,hell4  ,the ,god that wrote the ,old 
,testament will have a ,hell4  ,and ,i  
want to tell ,dr4 ,ryder another thing1 
that the ,bible teaches an eternity of  
punishment4  ,i want to tell him that   
the ,bible upholds the doctrine of      

,hell4  ,i want to tell ,him that if    
there is no ,hell1 somebody ought to    
have said so1 and ,jesus ,christ should 
not have said3 ,i will at the last day  
say3 ',depart from me1 ye cursed1 into  
everlasting fire prepared for the devil 
and his angels4'  ,if there was not such
 a place1 ,christ would not have said3  
,depart from me1 ye cursed1 and these   
shall go hence into everlasting fire4   
,and if you1 ,dr4 ,ryder1 are depending 
for salvation on the ,god that wrote the
 ,old ,testament1 you will inevitably be
 eternally damned4  ,there is no hope   
for you4  ,it is just as bad to deny    
,hell as it is to deny ,heaven4  ,it is 
just as much blasphemy to deny the devil
 as to deny ,god1 according to the      
orthodox creed4  ,he admits that the    
,jews were polygamists1 but1 he says1   
how was it they finally quit it8 ,i can 
tell you--the soil was so poor they     
couldn't afford it4  ,prof4 ,swing says 
the ,bible is a poem1 ,dr4 ,ryder says  
it is a picture4  ,the ,garden of ,eden 

is pictorial2 a pictorial snake and a   
pictorial woman1 ,i suppose1 and a      
pictorial man1 and maybe it was a       
pictorial sin4 ,and only a pictorial    
atonement4      ,,ingersoll',s ,,reply  
,,to ,,rabbi ,,bien   ,then there is    
another gentleman1 and he a rabbi1 a    
,rabbi ,bien1 or ,bean1 or whatever his 
name is1 and he comes to the defense of 
the ,great ,law-giver4  ,there was      
another rabbi who attacked me in        
,cincinnati1 and ,i couldn't help but   
think of the old saying that a man got  
off when he said the tallest man he ever
 knew1 his name was ,short4  ,and the   
fattest man he ever saw1 his name was   
,lean4  ,and it is only necessary for me
 to add that this rabbi in ,cincinnati  
was ,wise4  ,the rabbi here1 ,i will not
 answer him1 and ,i will tell you why4  
,because he has taken himself outside of
 all the limits of a gentleman2 because 
he has taken it upon himself to traduce 
,american women in language the         
beastliest ,i ever read2 and any man who

 says that the ,american women are not  
just as good women as any ,god can make 
and pick his mud today1 is an           
unappreciative barbarian4  ,i will let  
him alone because he denounced all the  
men in this country1 all the members of 
,congress1 all the members of the       
,senate1 and all the judges upon the    
,bench2 in his lecture he denounced them
 as thieves and robbers4  ,that won't   
do4  ,i want to remind him that in this 
country the ,jews were first admitted to
 the privileges of citizens2 that in    
this country they were first given all  
their rights1 and ,i am as much in favor
 of their having their rights as ,i am  
in favor of having my own4 ,but when a  
rabbi so far forgets himself as to      
traduce the women and men of this       
country1 ,i pronounce him a vulgar      
falsifier1 and let him alone4  ,strange1
 that nearly every man that has answered
 me has answered me mostly on the same  
side4  ,strange1 that nearly every man  
that thought himself called upon to     

defend the ,bible was one who did not   
believe in it himself4  ,isn't it       
strange8  ,they are like some suspected 
people1 always anxious to show their    
marriage certificate4  ,they want at    
least to convince the world that they   
are not as bad as ,i am4  ,now1 ,i want 
to read you just one or two things1 and 
then ,i am going to let you go4  ,i want
 to see if ,i have said such awful      
things1 and whether ,i have got any     
scripture to stand by me4  ,i will read 
only two or three verses4  ,does the    
,bible teach man to enslave his brother8
 ,if it does1 it is not the word of     
,god1 unless ,god is a slaveholder4     
,moreover1 all the children of the      
strangers that do sojourn among you1 of 
them shall ye buy of their families     
which are with you1 which they beget in 
your land1 and they shall be your       
possession4  ,ye shall take them as an  
inheritance for your children after you 
to inherit them4 ,they shall be your    
bondsmen forever4--7,old ,testament47   

,upon the limbs of unborn babes this    
fiendish ,god put the chains of slavery4
  ,i hate him4  ,both thy bondmen and   
bondwomen shall be of the heathen round 
about thee and them shall ye buy1       
bondmen and bondwomen4  ,now let us read
 what the ,new ,testament has4  ,i could
 read a great deal more1 but that is    
enough4  ,servants1 be obedient to them 
that are your masters1 according to the 
flesh in fear and trembling1 in         
singleness of your heart1 as unto       
,christ4  ,this is putting the dirty    
thief that steals your labor on an      
equality with ,god4  ,servants1 be      
subject to your masters with all fear2  
not only to the good and gentle but also
 to the froward4  ,for this is          
thankworthy1 if a man for conscience    
toward ,god endure grief1 suffering     
wrongfully4  ,the idea of a man on      
account of conscience toward ,god       
stealing another man1 or allowing him   
nothing but lashes on his back as       
legal-tender for labor performed4  ,let 

as many servants as are under the yoke  
count their own masters worthy of all   
honor1 that the name of ,god and ,his   
doctrine be not blasphemed4  ,how can   
you blaspheme the name of ,god by       
asserting your independence8 ,how can   
you blaspheme the name of a ,god by     
striking fetters from the limbs of men8 
,i wish some of your ministers would    
tell you that4 ,and they that have      
believing masters let them not despise  
them4 ,that is to say1 a good ,christian
 could own another believer in ,jesus   
,christ2 could own a woman and her      
children1 and could sell the child away 
from its mother4 ,that is a sweet       
belief4  ,o1 hypocrisy6  ,let them not  
despise them because they are brethren1 
but rather do them service because they 
are faithful and beloved1 partakers of  
the benefit4  ,oh1 what slush6  ,here is
 what they will tell the poor slave1 so 
that he will serve the man that stole   
his wife and children from him3  ,for we
 brought nothing into this world1 and it

 is certain we can carry nothing out4   
,having food and raiment let us be      
therewith content4  ,don't you think    
that it would do just as well to preach 
that to the thieving man as to the      
suffering slave8  ,i think so4  ,then   
this same ,bible teaches witchcraft1    
that spirits go into the bodies of the  
man1 and pigs1 and that ,god himself    
made a trade with the devil1 and the    
devil traded him off--a man for a       
certain number of swine1 and the devil  
lost money because the hogs ran right   
down into the sea4  ,he got a corner on 
that deal4  ,now let us see how they    
believed in the rights of children3  ,if
 a man have a stubborn and rebellious   
son which will not obey the voice of his
 father1 or the voice of his mother1 and
 that1 when they have chastened him1    
will not harken unto them1 then shall   
his father and his mother lay hold on   
him1 and bring him out unto the elders  
of his city1 and unto the gate of his   
place4  ,and they shall say unto the    

elders of his city1 ',this1 our son1 is 
stubborn and rebellious1 he will not    
obey our voice1 he is a glutton and a   
drunkard4' ,and all the men of this city
 shall stone him with stones1 that he   
die1 so shalt thou put evil away4  ,that
 is a very good way to raise children4  
,here is the story of ,jephthah4  ,he   
went off and he asked the ,lord to let  
him whip some people1 and he told the   
,lord if ,he would let him whip them1 he
 would sacrifice to the ,lord the first 
thing that met him on his return2 and   
the first thing that met him was his own
 beautiful daughter1 and he sacrificed  
her4  ,is there a sadder story in all   
history than that8 ,what do you think of
 a man that would sacrifice his own     
daughter8 ,what do you think of a ,god  
that would receive that sacrifice8      
,now1 then1 they come to women in this  
blessed gospel1 and let us see what the 
gospel says about women4  ,then you     
ought all to go to church1 girls1 next  
,sunday and hear it4  ,let the woman    

learn in silence with all subjection2   
but ,i suffer not a woman to teach nor  
to usurp authority over the man1 but to 
be in silence for ,adam was formed      
first1 not ,eve4  ,don't you see8  ,and 
,adam was not deceived1 but the woman   
being deceived was in the transgression4
  ,notwithstanding she shall be saved in
 child-bearing if they continue in faith
 and charity and holiness with sobriety4
 7,that is ,mr4 ,timothy47  ,but ,i     
would have you know that the head of    
every man is ,christ1 and the head of   
the woman is the man1 and the head of   
,christ is ,god4  ,i suppose that every 
old maid is acephalous4  ,for a man     
indeed ought not to cover his head1 for 
as much as he is the image and glory of 
,god2 but the woman is the glory of the 
man4 ,for the man is not of the woman1  
but woman of the man4  ,neither was the 
man created for the woman1 but the woman
 for the man4  ,wives1 submit yourselves
 unto your own husband as unto the      
,lord1 for the husband is the head of   

the wife even as ,christ is the head of 
the ,church4  ,do you hear that8  ,you  
didn't know how much we were above you4 
,when you go back to the old testament1 
to the great law-giver1 you find that   
the woman has to ask forgiveness for    
having borne a child4  ,if it was a boy1
 thirty-three days she was unclean2 if  
it was a girl1 sixty-six4 ,nice laws6   
,good laws6  ,if there is a pure thing  
in this world1 if there is a picture of 
perfect purity1 it is a mother with her 
child in her arms4 ,yes1 ,i think more  
of a good woman and a child than ,i do  
of all the gods ,i have ever heard these
 people tell about4 ,just think of this3
  ,when thou goest forth to war against 
thine enemies1 and the ,lord thy ,god   
hath delivered them into thine hands1   
and thou hast taken them captive1 and   
seest among the captives a beautiful    
woman and hast a desire unto her that   
thou wouldst have her to thy wife1 then 
thou shalt bring her home to thine      
house1 and she shall shave her head1 and

 pare her nails4  ,wherefore1 ye must   
needs be subject not only for wrath but 
for conscience sake4  ,for this cause   
pay you tribute also1 for they are      
,god's ministers4  ,i despise this      
wretched doctrine4  ,wherever the sword 
of rebellion is drawn in favor of the   
right1 ,i am a rebel4  ,i suppose       
,alexander1 czar of ,russia1 was put    
there by the order of ,god1 was he8  ,i 
am sorry he was not removed by the      
nihilist that shot at him the other day4
  ,i tell you1 in a country like that1  
where there are hundreds of girls not   
#af years of age prisoners in ,siberia1 
simply for giving their ideas about     
liberty1 and we telegraphed to that     
country1 congratulating that wretch that
 he was not killed1 my heart goes into  
the prison1 my heart goes with the poor 
girl working as a miner in the mines1   
crawling on her hands and knees getting 
the precious ore out of the mines1 and  
my sympathies go with her1 and my       
sympathies cluster around the point of  

the dagger4  ,does the bible describe a 
god of mercy8  ,let me read you a verse 
or two3  ,i will make mine arrows drunk 
with blood1 and my sword shall devour   
flesh4 ,thy foot may be dipped in the   
blood of thine enemies1 and the tongue  
of thy dogs in the same4  ,and the ,lord
 thy ,god will put out those nations    
before thee by little and little2 thou  
mayest not consume them at once1 lest   
the beasts of the field increase upon   
thee4  ,but the ,lord thy ,god shall    
deliver them unto thee1 and shall       
destroy them with a mighty destruction1 
until they be destroyed4  ,and he shall 
deliver their kings into thine hand1 and
 thou shalt destroy their name from     
under heaven2 there shall no man be able
 to stand before thee1 until thou have  
destroyed them4  ,i can see what he had 
her nails pared for4  ,does the bible   
teach polygamy8 ,the ,rev4 ,dr4 ,newman1
 consul general to all the world--had a 
discussion with ,elder ,heber of        
,kimball1 or some such wretch in        

,utah--whether the bible sustains       
polygamy1 and the ,mormons have printed 
that discussion as a campaign document4 
,read the order of ,moses in the #cast  
chapter of ,numbers4  ,a great many     
chapters ,i dare not read to you4 ,they 
are too filthy4  ,i leave all that to   
the clergy4  ,read the #cast chapter of 
,exodus1 the #cast chapter of           
,deuteronomy1 the life of ,abraham1 and 
the life of ,david1 and the life of     
,solomon1 and then tell me that the     
bible does not uphold polygamy and      
concubinage6  ,let them answer4  ,then  
,i said that the bible upheld tyranny4  
,let me read you a little3 ,let every   
soul be subject unto the higher powers4 
,for there is no power but of ,god4     
,the powers that be are ordained of     
,god4  ,george ,,iii was king by the    
grace of ,god1 and when our fathers rose
 in rebellion1 according to this        
doctrine1 they rose against the power of
 ,god2 and if they did they were        
successful4  ,and so it goes on1 telling

 of all the cities that were destroyed1 
and of the great-hearted men1 that they 
dashed their brains out1 and all the    
little babes1 and all the sweet women   
that they killed and plundered--all in  
the name of a most merciful ,god4       
,well1 think of it6 ,the ,old ,testament
 is filled with anathemas1 and with     
curses1 and with words of revenge1 and  
jealousy1 and hatred1 and meanness1 and 
brutality4  ,have ,i read enough to show
 that what ,i said is so8 ,i think ,i   
have4  ,i wish ,i had time to read to   
you further of what the dear old fathers
 of the church said about woman--wait a 
minute1 and ,i will read you a little4  
,we have got them running4  ,st4        
,augustine in his #bb;d book says3 ,a   
woman ought to serve her husband as unto
 ,god1 affirming that woman ought to be 
braced and bridled betimes1 if she      
aspire to any dominion1 alleging that   
dangerous and perilous it is to suffer  
her to precede1 although it be in       
temporal and corporeal things4  ,how can

 woman be in the image of ,god1 seeing  
she is subject to man1 and hath no      
authority to teach1 neither to be a     
witness1 neither to judge1 much less to 
rule or bear the rod of empire4  ,oh1 he
 is a good one4  ,these are the very    
words of ,augustine4  ,let me read some 
more4  ,woman shall be subject unto man 
as unto ,christ4 ,that is ,st4          
,augustine1 and this sentence of        
,augustine ought to be noted of all     
women1 for in it he plainly affirms that
 women are all the more subject to man4 
,and now1 ,st4 ,ambrose1 he is a good   
boy4 ,adam was deceived by ,eve--called 
,heva--and not ,heva by ,adam1 and      
therefore just it is that woman receive 
and acknowledge him for governor whom   
she called sin1 lest that again she slip
 and fall with womanly facility4 ,don't 
you see that woman has sinned once1 and 
man never8  ,if you give woman an       
opportunity1 she will sin again1 whereas
 if you give it to man1 who never1 never
 betrayed his trust in the world1       

nothing bad can happen4  ,let women be  
subject to their own husbands as unto   
the ,lord1 for man is the head of woman1
 and ,christ is the head of the         
congregation4  ,they are all real good  
men1 all of them4  ,it is not permitted 
to woman to speak2 let her be in        
silence2 as the law said3 unto thy      
husband shalt thou ever be1 and he shall
 bear dominion over thee4  ,so ,st4     
,chrysostom4  ,he is another good man4  
,woman1 he says1 was put under the power
 of man1 and man was pronounced lord    
over her2 that she should obey man1 that
 the head should not follow the feet4   
,false priests do commonly deceive      
women1 because they are easily persuaded
 to any opinion1--especially if it be   
again given1 and because they lack      
prudence and right reason to judge the  
things that be spoken2 which should not 
be the nature of those that are         
appointed to govern others4 ,for they   
should be constant1 stable1 prudent1 and
 doing everything with discretion and   

reason1 which virtues woman can not have
 in equality with man4  ,i tell you     
women are more prudent than men4  ,i    
tell you1 as a rule1 women are more     
truthful than men4  ,i tell you that    
women are more faithful than men--ten   
times as faithful as man4  ,i never saw 
a man pursue his wife into the very     
ditch and dust of degradation and take  
her in his arms4  ,i never saw a man    
stand at the shore where she had been   
morally wrecked1 waiting for the waves  
to bring back even her corpse to his    
arms but ,i have seen woman do it4  ,i  
have seen woman with her white arms lift
 man from the mire of degradation1 and  
hold him to her bosom as though he were 
an angel4  ,and these men thought woman 
not fit to be held as pure in the sight 
of ,god as man4  ,i never saw a man that
 pretended that he didn't love a woman2 
that pretended that he loved ,god better
 than he did a woman1 that he didn't    
look hateful to me1 hateful and unclean4
  ,i could read you twenty others1 but  

,i haven't time to do it4  ,they are all
 to the same effect exactly4  ,they hate
 woman1 and say man is as much above her
 as ,god is above man4  ,i am a believer
 in absolute equality4  ,i am a believer
 in absolute liberty between man and    
wife4 ,i believe in liberty1 and ,i say1
 ,oh1 liberty1 float not forever in the 
far horizon--remain not forever in the  
dream of the enthusiast1 the            
philanthropist and poet2 but come and   
make thy home among the children of men4
  ,i know not what discoveries1 what    
inventions1 what thoughts may leap from 
the brain of the world4  ,i know not    
what garments of glory may be woven by  
the years to come4  ,i can not dream of 
the victories to be won4 ,i do know     
that1 coming upon the field of thought2 
but down the infinite sea of the future1
 there will never touch this bank and   
shoal of time a richer gift1 a rarer    
blessing than liberty for man1 woman and
 child4  ,i never addressed a more      
magnificent audience in my life1 and ,i 

thank you1 ,i thank you a thousand times
 over4      ,,ingersoll',s ,,catechism  
,,and ,,bible-,,class    ,nothing is    
more gratifying than to see ideas that  
were received with scorn1 flourishing in
 the sunshine of approval4  ,only a few 
weeks ago ,i stated that the ,bible was 
not inspired2 that ,moses was mistaken1 
that the flood was a foolish myth2 that 
the ,tower of ,babel existed only in    
credulity2 that ,god did not create the 
universe from nothing1 that ,he did not 
start the first woman with a rib2 that  
,he never upheld slavery2 that ,he was  
not a polygamist2 that ,he did not kill 
people for making hair-oil1  that ,he   
did not order ,his ,generals to kill the
 dimpled babes2 that ,he did not allow  
the roses of love and the violets of    
modesty to be trodden under the brutal  
feet of lust2 that the ,hebrew language 
was written without vowels2 that the    
,bible was composed of many books       
written by unknown men2 that all        
translations differed from each other1  

and that this book had filled the world 
with agony and crime4  ,at that time ,i 
had not the remotest idea that the most 
learned clergymen in ,chicago would     
substantially agree with me--in public4 
,i have read the replies of the ,rev4   
,robert ,collyer1 ,dr4 ,thomas1 ,rabbi  
,kohler1 ,rev4 ,brooke ,herford1 ,prof4 
,swing1 and ,dr4 ,ryder1 and will now   
ask them a few questions1 answering them
 in their own words4   ,first1 ,,rev4   
,,robert ,,collyer3  ,question4  ,what  
is your opinion of the ,bible8  ,answer4
  ,it is a splendid book4  ,it makes the
 noblest type of ,catholics and the     
meanest bigots4  ,through this book men 
give their hearts for good to ,god1 or  
for evil to the ,devil4  ,the best      
argument for the intrinsic greatness of 
the book is that it can touch such wide 
extremes1 and seem to maintain us in the
 most unparalleled cruelty1 as well as  
the most tender mercy2 that it can      
inspire purity like that of the great   
saints and afford arguments in favor of 

polygamy4  ,the ,bible is the text book 
of ironclad ,calvinism and sunny        
,universalism4  ,it makes the ,quaker   
quiet and the ,millerite crazy4  ,it    
inspired the ,union soldier to live and 
grandly die for the right1 and          
,stonewall ,jackson to live nobly and   
die grandly for the wrong4  ,q4  ,but1  
,mr4 ,collyer1 do you really think that 
a book with as many passages in favor of
 wrong as right1 is inspired8  ,a4  ,i  
look upon the ,old ,testament as a      
rotting tree4  ,when it falls it will   
fertilize a bank of violets4  ,q4  ,do  
you believe that ,god upheld slavery and
 polygamy8  ,do you believe that ,he    
ordered the killing of babes and the    
violation of maidens8  ,a4  ,there is   
three-fold inspiration in the ,bible1   
the first peerless and perfect1 the     
,word of ,god to man2--the second simply
 and purely human1 and then below this  
again1 there is an inspiration born of  
an evil heart1 ruthless and savage there
 and then as anything well can be4  ,a  

three-fold inspiration1 of ,heaven      
first1 then of the ,earth1 and then of  
,hell1 all in the same book1 all        
sometimes in the same chapter1 and then1
 besides1 a great many things that need 
no inspiration4  ,q4  ,then1 after all1 
you do not pretend that the ,scriptures 
are really inspired8  ,a4  ,the         
,scriptures make no such claim for      
themselves as the ,church make's for    
them4  ,they leave me free to say this  
is false1 or this is true4  ,the truth  
even within the ,bible dies and lives1  
makes on this side and loses on that4   
,q4  ,what do you say to the last verse 
in the ,bible1 where a curse is         
threatened to any man who takes from or 
adds to the book8  ,a4 ,i have but one  
answer to this question1 and it is3 ,let
 who will have written this1 ,i can not 
for an instant believe that it was      
written by a divine inspiration4  ,such 
dogmas and threats as these are not of  
,god1 but of man1 and not of any man of 
a free spirit and heart eager for the   

truth1 but a narrow man who would       
cripple and confine the human soul in   
its quest after the whole truth of ,god1
 and back those who have done the       
shameful things in the name of the ,most
 ,high4  ,q4 ,do you not regard such    
talk as slang8  7,supposed7 ,answer4    
,if an infidel had said that the writer 
of ,revelations was narrow and bigoted1 
,i might have denounced his discourse as
 slang1 but ,i think  that ,unitarian   
ministers can do so with the greatest   
propriety4  ,q4  ,do you believe in the 
stories of the ,bible1 about ,jael1 and 
the sun standing still1 and the walls   
falling at the blowing of horns8 ,a4    
,they may be legends1 myths1 poems1 or  
what they will1 but they are not the    
,word of ,god4  ,so ,i say again1 it was
 not the ,god and ,father of us all who 
inspired the woman to drive that nail   
crashing through the king's temple after
 she had given him that bowl of milk and
 bid him sleep in safety1 but a very    
mean ,devil of hatred and revenge that  

,i should hardly expect to find in a    
squaw on the plains4 ,it was not the    
ram's horns and the shouting before     
which the walls fell flat4  ,if they    
went down at all1 it was through good   
solid pounding4  ,and not for an instant
 did the steady sun stand still or let  
his planet stand still while barbarian  
fought barbarian4  ,he kept just the    
time then he keeps now4  ,they might    
believe it who made the record4  ,i do  
not4  ,and since the whole ,christian   
world might believe it1 still we do not 
who gather in this church4  ,a free and 
reasonable mind stands right in our way4
 ,newton might believe it as a          
,christian and disbelieve it as a       
philosopher4  ,we stand then with the   
philosopher against the ,christian1 for 
we must believe what is true to us in   
the last test1 and these things are not 
true4   ,,second1 ,,rev4 ,,dr4 ,,thomas4
  ,question4  ,what is your opinion of  
the ,old ,testament8  ,answer4  ,my     
opinion is that it is not one book1 but 

many--thirty-nine books bound up in one4
  ,the date and authorship of most of   
these books are wholly unknown4  ,the   
,hebrews wrote without vowels and       
without dividing the letters into       
syllables1 words or sentences4  ,the    
books were gathered up by ,ezra4  ,at   
that time only two of the ,jewish tribes
 remained4 ,all progress had ceased4    
,in gathering up the sacred book1       
copyists exercised great liberty in     
making changes and additions4  ,q4 ,yes1
 we know all that1 but is the ,old      
,testament inspired8  ,a4 ,there maybe  
the inspiration of art1 of poetry1 or   
oratory2 of patriotism--and there are   
such inspirations4  ,there are moments  
when great truths and principles come to
 men4  ,they seek the man and not the   
man them4  ,q4  ,yes1 we will admit     
that1 but is the ,bible inspired8  ,a4  
,but still ,i know of no way to convince
 any one of spirit and inspiration and  
,god only as ,his reason may take hold  
of these things4  ,q4  ,do you think the

 ,old ,testament true8  ,a4  ,the story 
of ,eden may be an allegory2 the history
 of the children of ,israel may have    
mistakes4  ,q4  ,must inspiration claim 
infallibility8  ,a4  ,it is a mistake to
 say that if you believe one part of the
 ,bible you must believe all4  ,some of 
the thirty-nine books may be inspired1  
others not2 or there may be degrees of  
inspiration4  ,q4  ,do you believe that 
,god commanded the soldiers to kill the 
children and the married women and save 
for themselves the maidens1 as recorded 
in ,numbers #ca3b8  ,do you believe that
 ,god upheld slavery8  ,do you believe  
that ,god upheld polygamy8  ,a4  ,the   
,bible may be wrong in some statements4 
,god and right can not be wrong4  ,we   
must not exalt the ,bible above ,god4   
,it may be that we have claimed too much
 for the ,bible1 and thereby given not a
 little occasion for such men as ,mr4   
,ingersoll to appear at the other       
extreme1 denying too much4  ,q4  ,what  
then shall be done8  ,a4 ,we must take a

 middle ground4  ,it is not necessary to
 believe that the bears devoured the    
forty-two children1 nor that ,jonah was 
swallowed by the whale4   ,,third1      
,,rev4 ,,dr4 ,,kohler4  ,question4      
,what is your opinion about the ,old    
,testament8  ,answer4 ,i will not make  
futile attempts of artificially         
interpreting the letter of the ,bible so
 as to make it reflect the              
philosophical1 moral and scientific     
views of our time4  ,the ,bible is a    
sacred record of humanity's childhood4  
,q4  ,are you an orthodox ,christian8   
,a4  ,no4 ,orthodoxy1 with its face     
turned backward to a ruined temple or a 
dead ,messiah1 is fast becoming like    
,lot's wife1 a pillar of salt4  ,q4  ,do
 you really believe the ,old ,testament 
was inspired8  ,a4  ,i greatly          
acknowledge our indebtedness to men like
 ,voltaire and ,thomas ,paine1 whose    
bold denial and cutting wit were so     
instrumental in bringing about this     
glorious era of freedom1 so congenial   

and blissful1 particularly to the       
long-abused ,jewish race4  ,q4  ,do you 
believe in the inspiration of the       
,bible8  ,a4  ,of course there is a     
destructive ax needed to strike down the
 old building in order to make room for 
the grander new4  ,the divine origin    
claimed by the ,hebrews for their       
national literature was claimed by all  
nations for their old records and laws  
as preserved by the priesthood4  ,as    
,moses--the ,hebrew law giver1 is       
represented as having received the law  
from ,god on the holy mountains1 so is  
,zoroaster1 the ,persian1 ,manu1 the    
,hindoo1 ,minos1 the ,cretan1 ,lycurgus1
 the ,spartan1 and ,numa1 the ,roman4   
,q4  ,do you believe all the stories in 
the ,bible8  ,a4  ,all that can and must
 be said against them is that they have 
been too long retained around the arms  
and limbs of grown-up manhood to check  
the spiritual progress of religion2 that
 by ,jewish ritualism and ,christian    
dogmatism they became fetters unto the  

soul1 turning the light of heaven into a
 misty haze to blind the eye1 and even  
into a ,hell fire of fanaticism to      
consume souls4  ,q4  ,is the ,bible     
inspired8  ,a4  ,true1 the ,bible is not
 free from errors1 nor is any work of   
man and time4  ,it abounds in childish  
views and offensive matters4  ,i trust  
it will1 in a time not far off1 be      
presented for common use in families1   
schools1 synagogues and churches1 in a  
refined shape1 cleansed from all dross  
and chaff1 and stumbling-blocks on which
 the scoffer delights to dwell4         
,,fourth1 ,,rev4 ,,mr4 ,,herford4       
,question4  ,is the ,bible true8        
,answer4  ,ingersoll is very fond of    
saying ',the question is not1 is the    
,bible inspired1 but is it true8' ,that 
sounds very plausible1 but you know as  
applied to any ancient book it is simply
 nonsense4  ,q4  ,do you think the      
stories in the ,bible exaggerated8  ,a4 
,i dare say the numbers are immensely   
exaggerated4  ,q4  ,do you think that   

,god upheld polygamy8  ,a4 ,the truth of
 which simply is1 that four thousand    
years ago polygamy existed among the    
,jews1 as everywhere else on earth then1
 and even their prophets did not come to
 the idea of its being wrong4  ,but what
 is there to be indignant about in that8
  ,and so you really wonder why any man 
should be indignant at the idea that    
,god upheld and sanctioned that         
beastliness called polygamy8  ,what is  
there to be indignant about in that8    
,,fifth1 ,,prof4 ,,swing4  ,question4   
,what is your idea of the ,bible8       
,answer4  ,i think it a poem4   ,,sixth1
 ,,rev4 ,,dr4 ,,ryder4  ,question4  ,and
 what is your idea of the sacred        
,scriptures8  ,answer4 ,like other      
nations1 the ,hebrews had their         
patriotic1 descriptive1 didactic and    
lyrical poems in the same varieties as  
other nations2 but with them1 unlike    
other nations1 whatever may be the form 
of their poetry1 it always possesses the
 characteristic of religion4  ,q4  ,i   

suppose you fully appreciate the        
religious characteristics of the ,song  
of ,solomon8  ,no answer4  ,q4  ,does   
the ,bible uphold polygamy8  ,a4  ,the  
law of ,moses did not forbid it1 but    
contained many provisions against its   
worst abuses1 and such as were intended 
to restrict it within narrow limits4    
,q4  ,so you think ,god corrected some  
of the worst abuses of polygamy1 but    
preserved the institution itself8  ,i   
might question many others1 but have    
concluded not to consider those as      
members of my ,bible class who deal in  
calumnies and epithets4 ,from the       
so-called replies of such ministers it  
appears that1 while ,christianity       
changes the heart1 it does not improve  
the manners1  and one can get into      
,heaven in the next world without having
 been a gentleman in this4  ,it is      
difficult for me to express the deep and
 thrilling satisfaction ,i have         
experienced in reading the admissions of
 the clergy of ,chicago4 ,surely the    

battle of intellectual liberty is almost
 won when ministers admit that the      
,bible is filled with ignorant and cruel
 mistakes2 that each man has the right  
to think for himself1 and that it is not
 necessary to believe the ,scriptures in
 order to be saved4  ,from the bottom of
 my heart1 ,i congratulate my pupils on 
the advance they have made1 and hope    
soon to meet them on the serene heights 
of perfect freedom4      ,,ingersoll',s 
,,new ,,departure--,his ,lecture        
,entitled ,what ,shall ,we do to be     
,saved8--,delivered in ,mc,vicker's     
,theatre1 ,chicago1 ,sept4 #ai1 #ahhj   
,from the ,chicago ,times4 ,verbatim    
,report4    ,ladies and ,gentlemen3     
,fear is the dungeon of the mind1 and   
superstition is a dagger with which     
hypocrisy assassinates the soul4        
,courage is liberty4  ,i am in favor of 
absolute freedom of thought4 ,in the    
realm of the mind every one is monarch4 
,every one is robed1 sceptered1 and     
crowned1 and every one wears the purple 

of authority4 ,i belong to the republic 
of intellectual liberty1 and only those 
are good citizens of that republic who  
depend upon reason and upon persuasion1 
and only those are traitors who resort  
to brute force4  ,now1 ,i beg of you all
 to forget just for a few moments that  
you are ,methodists1 or ,baptists1 or   
,catholics1 or ,presbyterians1 and let  
us for an hour or two remember only that
 we are men and women4  ,and allow me to
 say man and woman are the highest      
titles that can be bestowed upon        
humanity4  ,man and woman4  ,and let us 
if possible banish all fear from the    
mind4  ,do not imagine that there is    
some being in the infinite expanse who  
is not willing that every man and woman 
should think for himself and herself4   
,do not imagine that there is any being 
who would give to his children the holy 
torch of reason and then damn them for  
following where the holy light led4     
,let us have courage4  ,priests have    
invented a crime called blasphemy1  and 

behind that crime hypocrisy has crouched
 for thousands of years4  ,there is but 
one blasphemy1 and that is injustice4   
,there is but one worship1 and that is  
justice4  ,you need not fear the anger  
of a ,god whom you cannot injure4       
,rather fear to injure your fellow-men4 
,do not be afraid of a crime you cannot 
commit4  ,rather be afraid of the one   
that you may commit4  ,there was a      
,jewish gentleman went into a restaurant
 to get his dinner1 and the devil of    
temptation whispered in his ear3 ,eat   
some bacon4  ,he knew if there was      
anything in the universe calculated to  
excite the wrath of the ,infinite       
,being1 who made every shining star1 it 
was to see a gentleman eating bacon4    
,he knew it1 and ,he knew the ,infinite 
,being was looking1 and that he was the 
,infinite ,eaves-dropper of the         
universe4 ,but his appetite got the     
better of his conscience1 as it often   
has with us all1 and he ate that bacon4 
,he knew it was wrong4 ,when he went    

into that restaurant the weather was    
delightful1 the sky was as blue as      
,june1 and when he came out the sky was 
covered with angry clouds1 the lightning
 leaping from one to the other1 and the 
earth shaking beneath the voice of the  
thunder4  ,he went back into that       
restaurant with a face as white as milk1
 and he said to one of the keepers3  ,my
 ,god1 did you ever hear such a fuss    
about a little piece of bacon8  ,as long
 as we harbor such opinions of          
,infinity2 as long as we imagine the    
heavens to be filled with such tyranny1 
so long the sons of men will be         
cringing1 intellectual cowards4  ,let us
 think1 and let us honestly express our 
thought4  ,do not imagine for a moment  
that ,i think people who disagree with  
me are bad people4  ,i admit1 and ,i    
cheerfully admit1 that a very large     
proportion of mankind and a very large  
majority1 a vast number1 are reasonably 
honest4  ,i believe that most           
,christians believe what they teach2    

that most ministers are endeavoring to  
make this world better4 ,i do not       
pretend to be better than they are4  ,it
 is an intellectual question4  ,it is a 
question1 first1 of intellectual        
liberty1 and after that1 a question to  
be settled at the bar of human reason4  
,i do not pretend to be better than the 
are4  ,probably ,i am a good deal worse 
than many of them1 but that is not the  
question4 ,the question is ,bad as ,i   
am1 have ,i a right to think8  ,and ,i  
think ,i have1 for two reasons4  ,first1
 ,i can't help it4  ,and secondly1 ,i   
like it4  ,the whole question is right  
at a point4  ,if ,i have not a right to 
express my thoughts1 who has8  ,oh1 they
 say1 we will allow you1 we will not    
burn you4  ,all right2 why won't you    
burn me8  ,because we think a decent man
 will allow others to think and express 
his thought4  ,then the reason you do   
not persecute me for my thought is that 
you believe it would be infamous in you6
  ,yes4  ,and yet you worship a ,god who

 will1 all you declare1 punish me       
forever4  ,the next question then is3   
,can ,i commit a sin against ,god by    
thinking8 ,if ,god did not intend ,i    
should think1 why did ,he give me a     
thinker4 ,now1 then1 we have got what   
they call the ,christian system of      
religion1 and thousands of people wonder
 how ,i can be wicked enough to attack  
that system4  ,there are many good      
things about it1 and ,i shall never     
attack anything that ,i believe to be   
good6  ,i shall never fear to attack    
anything ,i honestly believe to be      
wrong4  ,we have1 ,i say1 what they call
 the ,christian religion1 and1 ,i find1 
just in proportion that nations have    
been religious1 just in the proportion  
they have gone back to barbarism4 ,i    
find that ,spain1 ,portugal1 ,italy are 
the three worst nations in ,europe2 ,i  
find that the nation nearest infidel is 
the most prosperous ,france4  ,and so ,i
 say there can be no danger in the      
exercise of absolute intellectual       

freedom4  ,i find among ourselves the   
men who think at least as good as those 
who do not4 ,we have1 ,i say1 a         
,christian system1 and that is founded  
upon what they are pleased to call      
system the ,new ,testament4  ,who wrote 
the ,new ,testament8  ,i don't know4    
,who does know8 ,nobody6  ,we have found
 some fifty-two manuscripts containing  
portions of the ,new ,testament4  ,some 
of those manuscripts leave out five or  
six books--many of them4  ,others more  
others less4  ,no two of these          
manuscripts agree4 ,nobody knows who    
wrote these manuscripts4  ,they are all 
written in ,greek2 the disciples of     
,christ knew only ,hebrew4  ,nobody ever
 saw1 so far as we know1 one of the     
original ,hebrew manuscripts4 ,nobody   
ever saw anybody who had seen anybody   
who had heard of anybody that had seen  
anybody that had ever seen one of the   
original ,hebrew manuscripts4  ,no doubt
 the clergy of your city have told you  
these facts thousands of times1 and they

 will be obliged to me for having       
repeated them once more4  ,these        
manuscripts are written in what are     
called capital ,greek letters4  ,they   
are called ,uncial characters2 and the  
,new ,testament was not divided into    
chapters and verses1 even1 until the    
year of grace #aeea4  ,recollect it4    
,in the original the manuscripts and    
gospels are signed by nobody4 ,the      
epistles are addressed to nobody2 and   
they are signed by the same person4     
,all the addresses1 all the pretended   
earmarks showing to whom they are       
written and by whom they are written are
 simply interpolations1 and everybody   
who has studied the subject knows it4   
,it is further admitted that even these 
manuscripts have not been properly      
translated1 and they have a syndicate   
now making a new translation2 and ,i    
suppose that ,i cannot tell whether ,i  
really believe the ,testament or not    
until ,i see that new translation4  ,you
 must remember1 also1 one other thing4  

,christ never wrote a solitary word of  
the ,new ,testament--not one word4      
,there is an account that ,he once      
stooped and wrote something in the sand1
 but that has not been preserved4  ,he  
never told anybody to write a word4 ,he 
never said3 ,matthew1 remember this4    
,mark1 don't forget to put that down4   
,luke1 be sure that in your gospel you  
have this4  ,john1 don't forget it4 ,not
 one word4  ,and it has always seemed to
 me that a ,being coming from another   
world1 with a message of infinite       
importance to mankind1 should at least  
have verified that message by his own   
signature4  ,why was nothing written8   
,i will tell you4  ,in my judgment they 
expected the end of the world in a very 
few days4  ,that generation was not to  
pass away until the heavens should be   
rolled up as a scroll1 and until the    
earth should melt with fervent heat4    
,that was their belief4 ,they believed  
that the world was to be destroyed1 and 
that there was to be another coming1 and

 that the saints were then to govern the
 world4 ,and they even went so far among
 the ,apostles1 as we frequently do now 
before election1 as to divide out the   
offices in advance4  ,this ,testament   
was not written for hundreds of years   
after the ,apostles were dust4  ,these  
facts lived in the open mouth of        
credulity4  ,they were in the           
wastebaskets of forgetfulness4 ,they    
depended upon the inaccuracy of legend1 
and for centuries these doctrines and   
stories were blown about by the         
inconstant winds4  ,and finally1 when   
reduced to writing1 some gentleman would
 write by the side of the passage his   
idea of it1 and the next copyist would  
put that in as a part of the text4      
,and1 finally1 when it was made1 and the
 ,church got in trouble1 and wanted a   
passage to help it out1 one was         
interpolated to order4  ,so that now it 
is among the easiest things in the world
 to pick out at least one hundred       
interpolations in the ,testament4   ,and

 ,i will pick some of them out before ,i
 get through4  ,and let me say here1    
once for all1 that for the man ,christ  
,i have infinite respect4  ,let me say1 
once for all1 that the place where man  
has died for man is holy ground2 and let
 me say1 once for all1 to that great and
 serene man ,i gladly pay the homage of 
my admiration and my tears4  ,he was a  
reformer in ,his day4  ,he was an       
infidel in ,his time4 ,he was regarded  
as a blasphemer1 and ,his life was      
destroyed by hypocrites1 who have1 in   
all ages1 done what they could to       
trample freedom out of the human mind4  
,had ,i lived at that time ,i would have
 been ,his friend1 and should ,he come  
again ,he would not find a better friend
 than ,i will be4  ,that is for the man4
  ,for the theological creation ,i have 
a different feeling4  ,if ,he was1 in   
fact1 ,god1 ,he knew that there was no  
such thing as death4  ,he knew that what
 we call death was but the eternal      
opening of the golden gates of          

everlasting joy2 and it took no heroism 
to face a death that was simply eternal 
life4  ,but when a man1 when a poor boy 
sixteen years of age1 goes upon the     
field of battle to keep his flag in     
heaven1 not knowing but that death ends 
all--not knowing but that1 when the     
shadows creep over him1 the darkness    
will be eternal--there is heroism4  ,and
 so for the man who1 in the darkness1   
said3 ,my ,god1 why hast ,thou forsaken 
,me8--for that man ,i have nothing but  
respect1 admiration1 and love4  ,a while
 ago ,i made up my mind to find out what
 was necessary for me to do in order to 
be saved4  ,if ,i have got a soul1 ,i   
want it saved4 ,i do not wish to lose   
anything that is of value4  ,for        
thousands of years the world has been   
asking that question ,what shall we do  
to be saved8  ,saved from poverty8  ,no4
  ,saved from crime8  ,no4  ,tyranny8   
,no4 ,but ,what shall we do to be saved 
from the eternal wrath of the ,god who  
made us all8  ,if ,god made us1 ,he will

 not destroy us4  ,infinite wisdom never
 made a poor investment4  ,and upon all 
the works of an infinite ,god1 a        
dividend must finally be declared4  ,the
 pulpit has cast a shadow over even the 
cradle4  ,the doctrine of endless       
punishment has covered the cheeks of    
this world with tears4  ,i despise it1  
and ,i defy it4  ,i made up my mind1 ,i 
say1 to see what ,i had to do in order  
to save my soul according to the        
,testament1 and thereupon ,i read it4   
,i read the gospel1 ,matthew1 ,mark1    
,luke1 and ,john4  ,but ,i found that   
the ,church had been deceiving me4  ,i  
found that the clergy did not understand
 their own book4  ,i found that they had
 been building upon passages that had   
been interpolated4  ,i found that they  
had been building upon passages that    
were entirely untrue4  ,and ,i will tell
 you why ,i think so4  ,the first of    
these gospels was written by ,st4       
,matthew1 according to the claim4  ,of  
course he never wrote a word of it4     

,never saw it4 ,never heard of it4      
,but1 for the purpose of this lecture1  
,i will admit that he wrote it4  ,i will
 admit that he was with ,christ for     
three years1 that he heard much of ,his 
conversation during that time and that  
he became impregnated with the          
doctrines1 or dogmas1 and the ideas of  
,jesus ,christ4  ,now let us see what   
,matthew says we must do in order to be 
saved4 ,and ,i take it that1 if this be 
true1 ,matthew is as good an authority  
as any minister in the world4  ,the     
first thing ,i find upon the subject of 
salvation is in the fifth chapter of    
,matthew1 and is embraced in what is    
commonly known as the sermon on the     
,mount4  ,it is as follows3  ,blessed   
are the poor in spirit1 for theirs is   
the kingdom of heaven4 ,good6  ,blessed 
are the merciful1 for they shall obtain 
mercy4  ,good6 ,whether they belonged to
 any church or not2 whether they        
believed the ,bible or not4  ,blessed   
are the merciful1 for they shall obtain 

mercy4  ,good6  ,blessed are the pure in
 heart1 for they shall see ,god4        
,blessed are the peacemakers1 for they  
shall be called the children of ,god4   
,blessed are they which are persecuted  
for righteousness' sake1 7that's me1    
little7 for theirs is the ,kingdom of   
,heaven4  ,in the same sermon he says3  
,think not that ,i am come to destroy   
the law or the prophets4 ,i am not come 
to destroy1 but to fulfill4 ,and then he
 makes use of this remarkable language1 
almost as applicable today as it was    
then3 ,for ,i say unto you that except  
your righteousness shall exceed the     
righteousness of the ,scribes and       
,pharisees ye shall in no wise enter the
 kingdom of ,heaven4  ,good6  ,in the   
sixth chapter ,i find the following1 and
 it comes directly after the prayer     
known as the ,lord's prayer3 ,for if you
 forgive men their trespasses your      
,heavenly ,father will also forgive you2
 but if ye forgive not men their        
trespasses neither will your ,father    

forgive your trespasses4  ,i accept the 
conditions4  ,there is an offer2 ,i     
accept it4 ,if you will forgive men that
 trespass against you1 ,god will forgive
 your trespasses against ,him4  ,i      
accept1 and ,i never will ask any ,god  
to treat me any better than ,i treat my 
fellowmen4  ,there is a square promise4 
,there is a contract4  ,if you will     
forgive others1 ,god will forgive you4  
,and it does not say you must believe in
 the ,old ,testament1 nor be baptized1  
nor join the ,church1 nor keep ,sunday4 
,it simply says1 if you forgive others  
,god will forgive you2 and it must be   
true4  ,no ,god could afford to damn a  
forgiving man4  7,a voice3 ,will ,he    
forgive ,democrats87  ,oh1 certainly4   
,let me say right here that ,i know lots
 of ,democrats1 great1 broad1           
whole-souled1 clever men1 and ,i love   
them4 ,and the only bad thing about them
 is that they vote the ,democratic      
ticket4 ,and ,i know lots of            
,republicans so mean and narrow that the

 only decent thing about them is that   
they vote the ,republican ticket4  ,now 
let me make myself plain upon that      
subject1 perfectly plain4 ,for instance1
 ,i hate ,presbyterianism1 but ,i know  
hundreds of splendid ,presbyterians4    
,understand me4  ,i hate ,methodism1 and
 yet ,i know hundreds of splendid       
,methodists4  ,i dislike a certain set  
of principles called ,democracy1 and yet
 ,i know thousands of ,democrats that ,i
 respect and like4  ,i like a certain   
set of principles--that is1 most of     
them1--called ,republicanism1 and yet ,i
 know lots of ,republicans that are a   
disgrace to those principles4  ,i do not
 war against men4  ,i do not war against
 persons4  ,i war against certain       
doctrines that ,i believe to be wrong4  
,and ,i give to every other human being 
every right that ,i claim for myself4   
,of course ,i did not intend today to   
tell what we must do in the election for
 the purpose of being saved4  ,the next 
thing that ,i find is in the seventh    

chapter and the second verse3 ,for with 
what judgment ye judge1 ye shall be     
judged2 and with what measure ye mete1  
it shall be measured to you again4      
,good6 ,that suits me6  ,and in the     
twelfth chapter of ,matthew3 ,for       
whosoever shall do the will of my       
,father that is in ,heaven1 the same is 
my brother and sister and mother4  ,for 
the ,son of ,man shall come in the glory
 of ,his ,father with ,his angels1 and  
then ,he shall reward every man         
according--  ,to the church he belongs  
to8  ,no4  ,to the manner in which he   
was baptized8 ,no4 ,according to his    
creed8  ,no4  ,then he shall reward     
every man according to his works4       
,good6  ,i subscribe to that doctrine4  
,and in the sixteenth chapter3 ,and     
,jesus called a little child to ,him and
 stood him in the midst1 and said3      
',verily1 ,i say unto you1 except ye    
become converted1 and become as little  
children1 ye shall not enter into the   
,kingdom of ,heaven4'  ,i do not wonder 

that a reformer in ,his day that met the
 ,scribes and ,pharisees and hypocrites1
 ,i do not wonder that at last ,he      
turned to children and said3 ,except ye 
become as little children1  ,i do not   
wonder4  ,and yet1 see what children the
 children of ,god have been4  ,what an  
interesting dimpled darling ,john       
,calvin was4  ,think of that prattling  
babe known as ,jonathan ,edwards6 ,think
 of the infants that founded the        
,inquisition1 that invented instruments 
of torture to tear human flesh4  ,they  
were the ones who had become as little  
children4  ,so ,i find in the nineteenth
 chapter3 ,and behold1 one came and said
 unto ,him3 ',good master1 what good    
thing shall ,i do in order to inherit   
eternal life8'  ,and ,he said unto him1 
'why callest thou ,me good8  ,there is  
none good but one1 and that is ,god1 but
 if thou will enter into eternal life1  
keep the commandments1' and he said unto
 ,him1  ',which8'  ,now1 there is a     
pretty fair issue4  ,here is a child of 

,god asking ,god what is necessary for  
him to do in order to inherit eternal   
life4 ,and ,god says to him3 ,keep the  
commandments4  ,and the child said to   
the ,almighty3 ,which8  ,now if there   
ever had been an opportunity given to   
the ,almighty to furnish a gentleman    
with an inquiring mind with the         
necessary information upon that subject1
 here was the opportunity4  ,he said    
unto ,him1 'which8'   ,and ,jesus said3 
,thou shalt do no murder2 thou shalt not
 commit adultery2 thou shalt not steal2 
thou shalt not bear false witness2 honor
 thy father and mother2 and1 thou shalt 
love thy neighbor as thyself4  ,he did  
not say to him3 ,you must believe in    
,me--that ,i am the only begotten ,son  
of the living ,god4  ,he did not say3   
,you must be born again4 ,he did not    
say3 ,you must believe the ,bible4 ,he  
did not say3 ,you must remember the     
,sabbath day1 to keep it holy4 ,he      
simply said3 ,thou shalt do no murder4  
,thou shalt not commit adultery4  ,thou 

shalt not steal4  ,thou shalt not bear  
false witness4 ,honor thy father and thy
 mother2 and1 thou shalt love thy       
neighbor as thyself4  ,and thereupon the
 young man1 who ,i think was a little   
fresh1 and probably mistaken1 said unto 
,him3 ,all these things have ,i kept    
from my youth up4  ,i don't believe     
that4  ,now comes in an interpolation4  
,in the old times when the ,church got a
 little scarce for money1 they always   
put in a passage praising poverty4 ,so  
they had this young man ask3 ,what lack 
,i yet8  ,and ,jesus said unto him3 ,if 
thou wilt be perfect1 go and sell that  
thou hast and give it to the poor1 and  
thou shalt have treasures in heaven4    
,the ,church has always been willing to 
swap off treasures in heaven for cash   
down4  ,and when the next verse was     
written the ,church must have been      
nearly dead-broke4  ,and again ,i say   
unto you1 it is easier for a camel to go
 through the eye of a needle than for a 
rich man to enter into the kingdom of   

,god4  ,did you ever know a wealthy     
disciple to unload on account of that   
verse8  ,and then comes another verse1  
which ,i believe is an interpolation3   
,and every one that has forsaken houses1
 or brethren or sisters1 or father or   
mother1 or wife or children1 or lands1  
for my name's sake1 shall receive an    
hundredfold1 and shall inherit          
everlasting life4 ,christ never said it4
  ,never4  ,whosoever shall forsake     
father and mother4 ,why ,he said to this
 man who asked him ,what shall ,i do to 
inherit eternal life8 among other       
things1 ,he said  ,honor thy father and 
thy mother4  ,and we turn over the page 
and ,he says3 ,if you will desert your  
father and your mother you shall have   
everlasting life4  ,it won't do4  ,if   
you desert your wife and your little    
children1 or your lands--the idea of    
putting a house and lot on equality with
 wife and children4  ,think of that6  ,i
 do not accept the terms4  ,i will never
 desert the one ,i love for the promise 

of any ,god4  ,it is far more important 
that we shall love our wives than that  
we shall love ,god4  ,and ,i will tell  
you why you cannot help ,him4  ,you can 
help her4  ,you can fill her life with  
the perfume of perpetual joy4  ,it is   
far more important that you love your   
children than that you love ,jesus      
,christ4--,and why8  ,if ,he is ,god you
 cannot help ,him1 but you can plant a  
little flower of happiness in every     
footstep of the child1 from the cradle  
until you die in that child's arms4     
,let me tell you to-day1 it is far more 
important to build a home than to erect 
a church4  ,the holiest temple beneath  
the stars is a home that love has built4
  ,and the holiest altar in all the wide
 world is the fireside around which     
gather father and mother and children4  
,there was a time when people believed  
that infamy4  ,there was a time when    
they did desert fathers2 and mothers1   
and wives and children4 ,st4 ,augustine 
says to the devotee3 ,fly to the desert1

 and though your wife put her arms      
around your neck1 tear her hands away2  
she is a temptation of the devil4       
,though your father and mother throw    
their bodies athwart your threshold1    
step over them2 and though your children
 pursue and with weeping eyes beseech   
you to return1 listen not4  ,it is the  
temptation of the evil one4  ,fly to the
 desert and save your soul4 ,think of   
such a soul being worth saving4 ,while  
,i live ,i propose to stand by the      
folks4  ,here there is another condition
 of salvation4  ,i find it in the #beth 
chapter3 ,then shall the ,king say unto 
them on ,his right hand1 ',come1 ye     
blessed of my father1 inherit the       
kingdom prepared for you from the       
foundation of the world4 ,for ,i was a  
hungered and ye gave ,me meat2 ,i was   
thirsty and ye gave ,me drink2 ,i was a 
stranger and ye took ,me in2 naked and  
ye clothed ,me2 and ,i was sick and ye  
visited ,me2 and ,i was in prison1 and  
ye came unto me4  ,good6  ,and ,i tell  

you tonight that ,god will not punish   
with eternal thirst the man who has put 
the cup of cold water to the lips of his
 neighbor4  ,god will not allow to live 
in eternal nakedness of pain the man who
 has clothed others4  ,for instance1    
here is a shipwreck1 and here is some   
brave sailor stands aside and allows a  
woman whom he never saw before to take  
his place in the boat1 and he stands    
there1 grand and serene as the wide sea1
 and he goes down4  ,do you tell me     
there is any ,god who will push the     
life-boat from the shore of eternal     
life1 when that man wishes to step in8  
,do you tell me that ,god can be        
unpitying to the pitiful1 that ,he can  
be unforgiving to the forgiving8  ,i    
deny it2 and from the aspersions of the 
pulpit ,i seek to rescue the reputation 
of the ,deity4  ,now1 ,i have read you  
everything in ,matthew on the subject of
 salvation4 ,that is all there is4  ,not
 one word about believing anything4  ,it
 is the gospel of deed1 the gospel of   

charity1 the gospel of self-denial2 and 
if only that gospel had been preached1  
persecution never would have shed one   
drop of blood4  ,not one4  ,now1        
according to the testimony1 ,matthew was
 well acquainted with ,christ4          
,according to the testimony1 he had been
 with ,him1 and ,his companion for      
years1 and if it was necessary to       
believe anything in order to get to     
heaven1 ,matthew should have told us4   
,but he forgot it4  ,or he didn't       
believe it4  ,or he never heard of it4  
,you can take your choice4  ,the next is
 ,mark4  ,now let us see what he says4  
,and for the purpose of this lecture it 
is sufficient for me to say that ,mark  
agrees1 substantially1 with ,matthew1   
that ,god will be merciful to the       
merciful2 that ,he will be kind to the  
kind that ,he will pity the pitying4    
,and it is precisely1 or substantially1 
the same as ,matthew until ,i come to   
the #afth verse of the #afth chapter1   
and then ,i strike an interpolation1 put

 in by hypocrisy1 put in by priests1 who
 longed to grasp with bloody hands the  
sceptre of universal authority4  ,let me
 read it to you4  ,and it is the most   
infamous passage in the ,bible4  ,christ
 never said it4  ,no sensible man ever  
said it4  ,and ,he said unto them--that 
is1 unto ,his disciples--,go ye into all
 the world and preach the gospel to     
every creature4  ,he that believeth and 
is baptized shall be saved1 and he that 
believeth not shall be damned4  ,now1 ,i
 propose to prove to you that that is an
 interpolation4  ,now how will ,i do it8
  ,in the first place1 not one word is  
said about belief in ,matthew4  ,in the 
next place1 not one word is said about  
belief in ,mark1 until ,i come to that  
verse4  ,and when is that said to have  
been spoken8 ,according to ,mark1 it is 
a part of the last conversation of      
,jesus ,christ--just before1 according  
to the account1 ,he ascended bodily     
before their eyes4  ,if there ever was  
any important thing happened in this    

world1 that is one of them4  ,if there  
was any conversation that people would  
be apt to recollect1 it would be the    
last conversation with ,god before ,he  
rose through the air and seated ,himself
 upon the throne of the ,infinite4  ,we 
have in this ,testament five accounts of
 the last conversation happening between
 ,jesus ,christ and ,his apostles4      
,matthew gives it4  ,and yet ,matthew   
does not state that in that conversation
 ,he said3 ,whoso believeth and is      
baptized shall be saved1 and whoso      
believeth not shall be damned4 ,and if  
,he did say those words1 they were the  
most important that ever fell from ,his 
lips4 ,matthew did not hear it1 or did  
not believe it1 or forgot it4  ,then ,i 
turn to ,luke1 and he gives an account  
of this same last conversation1 and not 
one word does he say upon that subject4 
,now it is the most important thing1 if 
,christ said it1 that ,he ever said4    
,then ,i turn to ,john1 and he gives an 
account of the last conversation1 but   

not one solitary word on the subject of 
belief or unbelief4  ,not one solitary  
word on the subject of damnation4  ,not 
one4  ,then ,i turn to the first chapter
 of the ,acts1 and there ,i find an     
account of the last conversation2 and in
 that conversation there is not one word
 upon this subject4  ,now1 ,i say1 that 
demonstrates that the passage in ,mark  
is an interpolation4  ,what other reason
 have ,i got8  ,that there is not one   
particle of sense in it4  ,why8  ,no man
 can control his belief4  ,you hear     
evidence for and against1 and the       
integrity of the soul stands at the     
scales and tells which side rises and   
which side falls4  ,you cannot believe  
as you wish4 ,you must believe as you   
must4  ,and ,he might as well have said3
 ,go into all the world and preach the  
gospel1 and whosoever has red hair shall
 be saved1 and whosoever hath not shall 
be damned4  ,i have another reason4  ,i 
am much obliged to the gentleman who    
interpolated these passages4  ,i am much

 obliged to him that he put in some     
more--two1 more4  ,now hear3  ,and these
 signs shall follow them that believe4  
,good4  ,in ,my name shall they cast out
 devils4  ,they shall speak with new    
tongues1 and they shall take up serpents
 and if they drink any deadly thing it  
shall not hurt them4  ,they shall lay   
hands on the sick1 and they shall       
recover4  ,bring on your believer6  ,let
 him cast out a devil4  ,i do not claim 
a large one1 just a little one for a    
cent4  ,let him take up serpents4 ,and  
if he drink any deadly thing it shall   
not hurt him4  ,let me mix up a dose for
 the theological believer1 and if it    
does not hurt him ,i'll join a church4  
,o1 but1 they say those things only     
lasted through that apostolic age4  ,let
 us see4  ,go ye into all the world and 
preach the gospel to every creature4    
,he that believeth and is baptized shall
 be saved1 but he that believeth not    
shall be damned4 ,and these signs shall 
follow them that believe4  ,how long8   

,i think at least until they had gone   
into all the world4 ,certainly these    
signs should follow until all the world 
had been visited4  ,and yet if that     
declaration was in the mouth of ,christ1
 he then knew that one-half of the world
 was unknown and that he would be dead  
#a1dib years before his disciples would 
know that there was another world4  ,and
 yet he said1 ,go into all the world and
 preach the gospel1 and he knew then    
that it would be #a1dib years before    
anybody went4 ,well1 if it was worth    
while to have signs follow believers in 
the old world1 surely it was worth while
 to have signs follow believers in the  
new world4  ,and the very reason that   
signs should follow would be to convince
 the unbeliever1 and there are as many  
unbelievers now as ever1 and the signs  
are as necessary today as they ever     
were4  ,i would like a few myself4      
,this frightful declaration1 ,he that   
believeth and is baptized shall be      
saved1 but he that believeth not shall  

be damned1 has filled the world with    
agony and crime4  ,every letter of this 
passage has been sword and fagot2 every 
word has been dungeon and chain4  ,that 
passage made the sword of persecution   
drip with innocent blood for ten        
centuries4  ,that passage made the      
horizon of a thousand years lurid with  
the flames of fagots4  ,that passage    
contradicts the sermon on the mount4    
,that passage travesties the ,lord's    
prayer4  ,that passage turns the        
splendid religion of deed and duty into 
the superstition of creed and cruelty4  
,i deny it4  ,it is infamous4 ,christ   
never said it6  ,now ,i come to ,luke1  
and it is sufficient to say that ,luke  
substantially agrees with ,matthew and  
with ,mark4 ,substantially agrees1 as   
the evidence is read4  ,i like it4  ,be 
ye therefore merciful1 as your ,father  
also is merciful4  ,good6  ,judge not1  
and ye shall not be judged4  ,condemn   
not1 and ye shall not be condemned2     
forgive and ye shall be forgiven4       

,good6  ,give1 and it shall be given    
unto you1 good measure1 pressed down1   
and shaken together1 and running over4  
,good6  ,i like it4  ,for with the same 
measure that ye mete withal1 it shall be
 measured to you again4  ,he agrees     
substantially with ,mark2 he agrees     
substantially with ,matthew2 and ,i come
 at last to the nineteenth chapter4     
,and ,zaccheus stood and said unto the  
,lord1 ',behold1 ,lord1 the half of my  
goods ,i give to the poor1 and if ,i    
have taken anything from any man by     
false accusation1 ,i restore him        
four-fold4'  ,and ,jesus said unto him1 
',this day is salvation come to this    
house4'  ,that is good doctrine4  ,he   
didn't ask ,zaccheus what he believed4  
,he didn't ask him1 ,do you believe in  
the ,bible8  ,do you believe in the five
 points8  ,have you ever been           
baptized-sprinkled8 ,oh6 immersed4 ,half
 of my goods ,i give to the poor1 and if
 ,i have taken anything from any man by 
false accusation1 ,i restore him        

four-fold4  ,and ,christ said1 ',this   
day is salvation come to this house4'   
,good6  ,i read also in ,luke that      
,christ when upon the cross forgave ,his
 murderers1 and that is considered the  
shining gem in the crown of ,his        
mercy--that ,he forgave ,his murderers4 
,that ,he forgave the men who drove the 
nails in ,his hands1 in ,his feet1 that 
plunged a spear in ,his side2 the       
soldier that in the hour of death       
offered ,him in mockery the bitterness  
to drink2 that ,he forgave them all     
freely1 and that yet1 although ,he would
 forgive them1 ,he will in the          
nineteenth century damn to eternal fire 
an honest man for the expression of his 
honest thoughts4 ,that won't do4  ,i    
find too1 in ,luke1 an account of two   
thieves that were crucified at the same 
time4  ,the other gospels speak of them4
  ,one says they both railed upon ,him4 
,another says nothing about it4  ,in    
,luke we are told that one did1 but one 
of the thieves looked and pitied        

,christ1 and ,christ said to that thief3
  ,this day shalt thou meet me in       
,paradise4  ,why did ,he say that8      
,because the thief pitied ,him4  ,and   
,god cannot afford to trample beneath   
the feet of ,his infinite wrath the     
smallest blossom of pity that ever shed 
its perfume in the human heart6  ,who   
was this thief8  ,to what church did he 
belong8  ,i don't know4 ,the fact that  
he was a thief throws no light on that  
question4  ,who was he8 ,what did he    
believe8  ,i don't know4  ,did he       
believe in the ,old ,testament8  ,in the
 miracles8  ,i don't know4  ,did he     
believe that ,christ was ,god8  ,i don't
 know4  ,why1 then1 was the promise made
 to him that he should meet ,christ in  
,paradise4  ,simply because he pitied   
innocence suffering on the cross4  ,god 
cannot afford to damn any man that is   
capable of pitying anybody4  ,and now we
 come to ,john1 and that is where the   
trouble commences4 ,the other gospels   
teach that ,god will be merciful to the 

merciful1 forgiving to the forgiving1   
kind to the kind1 loving to the loving1 
just to the just1 merciful to the good4 
,now we come to ,john1 and here is      
another doctrine4  ,and allow me to say 
that ,john was not written until        
centuries after the others4  ,this1 the 
,church got up3  ,and ,jesus answered   
and said unto him3 ',furthermore ,i say 
unto thee that except a man be born     
again he cannot see the ,kingdom of     
,god4'  ,why didn't ,he tell ,matthew   
that8  ,why didn't ,he tell ,luke that8 
,why didn't ,he tell ,mark that8  ,they 
never heard of it1 or forgot it1 or they
 didn't believe it4  ,except a man be   
born of water and of the ,spirit he     
cannot enter into the ,kingdom of ,god4 
,why8  ,that which is born of the flesh 
is flesh1 and that which is born of the 
spirit is spirit4  ,marvel not that ,i  
said unto thee1 'ye must be born again4'
  ,that which is born of the flesh is   
flesh1 and that which is born of the    
spirit is spirit1--and ,he might have   

added that which is born of water is    
water4  ,marvel not that ,i say unto    
thee1 'ye must be born again4'  ,and    
then the reason is given1 and ,i admit  
,i did not understand it myself until ,i
 read the reason1 and will understand it
 as well as ,i do2 and here it is3 ,the 
wind bloweth where it listeth1 and thou 
hearest the sound thereof1 and canst not
 tell whence it cometh and whither it   
goeth4  ,so ,i find in the book of ,john
 the idea of the real presence4  ,so ,i 
find in the book of ,john1 that in order
 to be saved we must eat of the flesh   
and we must drink of the blood of ,jesus
 ,christ1 and if that gospel is true1   
the ,catholic ,church is right4  ,but it
 is not true4  ,i cannot believe it1 and
 yet for all that it may be true4 ,but  
,i don't believe it4  ,neither do ,i    
believe there is any ,god in the        
universe who will damn a man simply for 
expressing his belief4  ,why1 they say  
to me1 suppose all this should turn out 
to be true1 and you should come to the  

day of judgment and find all these      
things to be true4  ,what would you do  
then8  ,i would walk up like a man1 and 
say1 ,i was mistaken4  ,and suppose ,god
 was about to pass judgment on you1 what
 would you say8 ,i would say to ,him1   
,do unto others as you would that others
 should do unto you4   ,why not8  ,i am 
told that ,i must render good for evil4 
,i am told that if smitten on one cheek 
,i must turn the other4  ,i am told that
 ,i must overcome evil with good4  ,i am
 told that ,i must love my enemies2 and 
will it do for this ,god who tells me1  
,love my enemies1 to say1 ,i will damn  
mine4 ,no1 it will not do2 it will not  
do4  ,in the book of ,john all this     
doctrine of regeneration2 all this      
doctrine that it is necessary to believe
 on the ,lord ,jesus ,christ2 all the   
doctrine that salvation depends upon    
belief--in this book of ,john all these 
doctrines find their warrant2 nowhere   
else4  ,read these three gospels and    
then read ,john1 and you will agree with

 me that the gospels that teach ,we must
 be kind1 we must be merciful1 we must  
be forgiving1 and thereupon that ,god   
will forgive us1 is true1 and then say  
whether or no that doctrine is not      
better than the doctrine that somebody  
else can be good for you1 that somebody 
else can be bad for you1 and that the   
only way to get to heaven is to believe 
something that you do not understand4   
,now upon these gospels that ,i have    
read the churches rest2 and out of those
 things that ,i have read they have made
 their creeds4  ,and the first ,church  
to make a creed1 so far as ,i know1 was 
the ,catholic4 ,i take it that is the   
first ,church that had any power4  ,that
 is the ,church that has preserved all  
these miracles for us4  ,that is the    
,church that preserved the manuscripts  
for us4  ,that is the ,church whose word
 we have to take4  ,that ,church is the 
first witness that ,protestantism       
brought to the bar of history to prove  
miracles that took place eighteen       

hundred years ago2 and while the witness
 is there ,protestantism takes pains to 
say3 ,you can't believe one word that   
witness says1 now4  ,that ,church is the
 only one that keeps up a constant      
communication with heaven through the   
instrumentality of a large number of    
decayed saints4 ,that ,church is an     
agent of ,god on earth4  ,that ,church  
has a person who stands in the place of 
,deity2 and that ,church1 according to  
their doctrine1 is infallible4  ,that   
,church has persecuted to the exact     
extent of her power--and always will4   
,in ,spain that ,church stands erect1   
and that ,church is arrogant4  ,in the  
,united ,states that ,church crawls4    
,but the object in both countries is the
 same1 and that is the destruction of   
intellectual liberty4  ,that ,church    
teaches us that we can make ,god happy  
by being miserable ourselves4 ,that     
,church teaches you that a nun is holier
 in the sight of ,god than a loving     
mother with a child in her thrilled and 

thrilling arms4 ,that ,church teaches   
you that a priest is better than a      
father4  ,that ,church teaches you that 
celibacy is better than that passion of 
love that has made everything of beauty 
in this world4  ,that ,church tells the 
girl of #af or #ah years of age1 with   
eyes like dew and light--that girl with 
the red of health in the white of her   
beautiful checks--tells that girl1 ,put 
on the veil woven of death and night1   
kneel upon stones1 and you will please  
,god4  ,i tell you that1 by law1 no girl
 should be allowed to take the veil1 and
 renounce the beauties of the world1    
until she was at least #be years of age4
  ,wait until she knows what she wants4 
,i am opposed to allowing these         
spider-like priests weaving webs to     
catch the flies of youth2 and there     
ought to be a law appointing            
commissioners to visit such places twice
 a year1 and release every person who   
expresses a desire to be released4  ,i  
don't believe in keeping penitentiaries 

for ,god4  ,no doubt they are honest    
about it4 ,that is not the question4    
,now this ,church1 after a few centuries
 of thought1 made a creed1 and that     
creed is the foundation of orthodox     
religion4  ,let me read it to you3      
,whosoever will be saved1 before all    
things it is necessary that he hold the 
,catholic faith2 which faith1 except    
every one do keep entire and inviolate1 
without doubt1 he shall everlastingly   
perish4  ,now the faith is this3 ,that  
we worship one ,god in trinity1 and     
trinity in unity4  ,of course you       
understand how that's done1 and there's 
no need of my explaining it4  ,neither  
confounding the persons nor dividing the
 substance4  ,you see what a predicament
 that would leave the ,deity in if you  
divided1 the substance4  ,for one is the
 person of the ,father1 another of the  
,son1 and another of the ,holy ,ghost2  
but the ,godhead of the ,father1 and of 
the ,son1 and of the ,holy ,ghost is all
 one --you know what ,i mean by         

,godhead4 ,in glory equal1 and in       
majesty co-eternal4  ,such as the       
,father is1 such is the ,son1 such is   
the ,holy ,ghost4  ,the ,father is      
uncreated1 the ,son uncreated1 the ,holy
 ,ghost uncreated4  ,the ,father        
incomprehensible1 the ,son              
incomprehensible1 the ,holy ,ghost      
incomprehensible4  ,and that is the     
reason we know so much about the thing4 
,the ,father is eternal1 the ,son       
eternal1 the ,holy ,ghost eternal1 and  
yet there are not three eternals1 only  
one eternal1 as also there are not three
 uncreated1 nor three incomprehensibles1
 only one uncreated1 one                
incomprehensible4  ,in like manner1 the 
,father is almighty1 the ,son almighty1 
the ,holy ,ghost almighty4  ,yet there  
are not three almighties1 only one      
,almighty4 ,so the ,father is ,god1 the 
,son ,god1 the ,holy ,ghost ,god1 and   
yet not three ,gods2 and so likewise1   
the ,father is ,lord1 the ,son is ,lord1
 the ,holy ,ghost is ,lord1 yet there   

are not three ,lords1 for as we are     
compelled by the ,christian truth to    
acknowledge every person by himself to  
be ,god and ,lord1 so we are all        
forbidden by the ,catholic religion to  
say there are three ,gods1 or three     
,lords4  ,the ,father is made of no one1
 not created or begotten4  ,the ,son is 
from the ,father alone1 not made1 nor   
created1 or begotten4  ,the ,holy ,ghost
 is from the ,father and the ,son1 not  
made nor begotten1 but proceeded-- ,you 
know what proceeding is4  ,so there is  
one ,father1 not three ,fathers4  ,why  
should there be three ,fathers1 and only
 one ,son8  ,one ,son1 and not three    
,sons2 one ,holy ,ghost1 not three ,holy
 ,ghosts2 and in this ,trinity there is 
nothing before or afterward1 nothing    
greater or less1 but the whole three    
persons are coeternal with one another1 
and coequal1 so that in all things the  
unity is to be worshiped in ,trinity1   
and the ,trinity is to be worshiped in  
unity1 and therefore we will believe4   

,those who will be saved must thus think
 of the ,trinity4  ,furthermore1 it is  
necessary to everlasting salvation that 
he also believe rightly the incarnation 
of our ,lord ,jesus ,christ4 ,now the   
right of this thing is this3 ,that we   
believe and confess that our ,lord      
,jesus ,christ1 the ,son of ,god1 is    
both ,god and man4  ,he is ,god of the  
substance of ,his ,father begotten      
before the world was4  ,that was a good 
while before ,his mother lived4  ,and   
,he is man of the substance of ,his     
mother1 born in this world1 perfect ,god
 and perfect man1 and the rational soul 
in human flesh subsisting equal to the  
,father according to ,his ,godhead1 but 
less than the ,father1 according to ,his
 manhood1 who being both ,god and man is
 not two but one--one not by conversion 
of ,god into flesh but by the taking of 
the manhood into ,god4  ,you see that it
 is a great deal easier than the other4 
,one altogether1 not by a confusion of  
substance1 but by unity of person1 for  

as the rational soul and flesh is one   
man1 so ,god the man1 is one ,christ1   
who suffered for our salvation1         
descended into hell1 rose again the     
third day from the dead1 ascended into  
heaven1 and ,he sitteth at the right    
hand of ,god1 the ,father ,almighty1 and
 ,he shall come to judge the living and 
the dead4  ,in order to be saved it is  
necessary to believe this4  ,what a     
blessing1 that we do not have to        
understand it4  ,and in order to compel 
the human intellect to get upon its     
knees1 before that infinite absurdity1  
thousands and millions have suffered    
agonies2 thousands and millions have    
perished in dungeons and in fire2 and if
 all the bones of all the victims of the
 ,catholic ,church could be gathered    
together1 a monument higher than all the
 pyramids would rise in our presence1   
and the eyes even of priests would be   
suffused with tears4  ,that ,church     
covered ,europe with cathedrals and     
dungeons4  ,that ,church robbed men of  

the jewel of the soul4  ,that ,church   
had ignorance upon its knees4  ,that    
,church went into partnership with the  
tyrants of the throne1 and between these
 two vultures1 the altar and the throne1
 the heart of man was devoured4  ,of    
course ,i have met1 and cheerfully admit
 that there is thousands of good        
,catholics2 but ,catholicism is contrary
 to human liberty4  ,catholicism bases  
salvation upon belief4 ,catholicism     
teaches man to trample his reason under 
foot4  ,and for that reason1 it is      
wrong4  ,now1 the next ,church that     
comes along in the way that ,i wish to  
speak of is the ,episcopalian4  ,that   
was founded by ,henry ,,viii41 now in   
heaven4 ,he cast off ,queen ,catherine  
and ,catholicism together4  ,and he     
accepted ,episcopalianism and ,annie    
,boleyn at the same time4  ,that        
,church1 if it had a few more           
ceremonies1 would be ,catholic4  ,if it 
had a few less1 nothing4  ,we have an   
,episcopalian ,church in this country1  

and it has all the imperfection of a    
poor relation4  ,it is always boasting  
of a rich relative4  ,in ,england the   
creed is made by law1 the same as we    
pass statutes here4  ,and when a        
gentleman dies in ,england1 in order to 
determine whether he shall be saved or  
not1 it is necessary for the power of   
heaven to read the acts of ,parliament4 
,it becomes a question of law1 and      
sometimes a man is damned on a very nice
 point4 ,lost on demurrer4  ,a few years
 ago1 a gentleman by the name of        
,seabury1 ,samuel ,seabury1 was sent    
over to ,england to get some apostolic  
succession4  ,we hadn't a drop in the   
house4  ,it was necessary for the       
bishops of the ,english church to put   
their hands upon his head4  ,they       
refused2 there was no act of ,parliament
 justifying--it4  ,he had then to go to 
the ,scotch ,bishops2 and1 had the      
,scotch ,bishops refused1 we never would
 have had any apostolic succession in   
the new world4  ,and ,god would have    

been driven out of half the world2 and  
the true church never could have been   
founded4  ,but the ,scotch ,bishops put 
their hands on his head1 and now we have
 an unbroken succession of heads and    
hands from ,st4 ,paul to the last       
bishop4  ,in this country the ,episcopal
 ,church has done some good1 and ,i want
 to thank that ,church4  ,having1 on an 
average1 less religion than the others1 
on an average you have done more good to
 mankind4  ,you preserved some of the   
humanities4  ,you did not hate music1   
you did not absolutely despise painting1
 and you did not altogether abhor       
architecture1 and you finally admitted  
that it was no worse to keep time with  
your feet than with your hands4  ,and   
some went so far as to say that people  
could play cards1 and ,god would        
overlook it1 or would look the other    
way4  ,for all these things accept my   
thanks4  ,when ,i was a boy1 the other  
,churches looked upon dancing as        
probably the mysterious sin against the 

,holy ,ghost2 and they used to teach    
that when four boys got in a hay-mow1   
playing seven-up1 that the ,eternal ,god
 stood whetting the sword of ,his       
eternal wrath waiting to strike them    
down to the lowest hell4  ,and so that  
,church has done some good4  ,after a   
while1 in ,england1 a couple of         
gentlemen1 or a couple of men by the    
name of ,wesley and ,whitfield1 said3   
,if everybody is going to hell1 nearly1 
somebody ought to mention it4  ,the     
,episcopal clergy said3 ,keep still2    
don't tear your gown4  ,wesley and      
,whitfield said3 ,this frightful truth  
ought to be proclaimed from the         
housetops at every opportunity1 from the
 highway of every occasion4 ,they were  
good1 honest men4  ,they believed their 
doctrine4  ,and they said3 ,if there is 
a hell1 and a ,niagara of souls pouring 
over an eternal precipice of ignorance1 
somebody ought to say something4 ,they  
were right2 somebody ought1 if such     
thing was true4  ,wesley was a believer 

in the ,bible4  ,he believed in the     
actual presence of the ,almighty4  ,god 
used to do miracles for him2 used to put
 off a rain several days to give his    
meeting a chance2 used to cure his horse
 of lameness2 used to cure ,mr4         
,wesley's headaches4  ,and ,mr4 ,wesley 
also believed in the actual existence of
 the devil4 ,he believed that devils had
 possession of people4  ,he talked to   
the devil when he was in folks1 and the 
devil told him that he was going to     
leave2 and that he was going into       
another person2 that he would be there  
at a certain time2 and ,wesley went to  
that other person1 and there the devil  
was1 prompt to the minute4  ,he regarded
 every conversion as an absolute warfare
 between ,god and this devil for the    
possession of that human soul4  ,honest1
 no doubt4  ,mr4 ,wesley did not believe
 in human liberty4 ,honest1 no doubt4   
,was opposed to the liberty of the      
colonies4  ,honestly so4  ,mr4 ,wesley  
preached a sermon entitled1 ,the ,cause 

and ,cure of ,earthquakes1 in which he  
took the ground that earthquakes were   
caused by sin and the only way to stop  
them was to believe in the ,lord ,jesus 
,christ4  ,no doubt an honest man4      
,wesley and ,whitfield fell out on the  
question of predestination4 ,wesley     
insisted that ,god invited everybody to 
the feast4  ,whitfield said ,he did not 
invite those ,he knew would not come4   
,wesley said ,he did4 ,whitfield said3  
,well1 ,he didn't put plates for them1  
anyway4 ,wesley said ,he did4  ,so that1
 when they were in hell1 he could show  
them that there was a seat left for     
them4  ,and that ,church that they      
founded is still active4  ,and probably 
no ,church in the world has done so much
 preaching for as little money as the   
,methodists4 ,whitfield believed in     
slavery and advocated the slave trade4  
,and it was of ,whitfield that ,whittier
 made the two lines3  ,he bade the slave
 ships speed from coast to coast1       
,fanned by the wings of the ,holy       

,ghost4  ,we have lately had a meeting  
of the ,methodists1 and ,i find1 by     
their statistics1 that they believe they
 have converted #acj1jjj folks in a     
year4  ,that in order to do this1 they  
have #bf1jjj preachers1 #bbf1jjj        
,sunday-school scholars1 and about      
#a1jjj1jjj1jjj  invested in church      
property4  ,i find1 in looking over the 
history of the world1 that there are    
#dj1jjj1jjj or #ej1jjj1jjj1jjj of people
 born a year1 and if they are saved at  
the rate of #cj1jjj a year1 about how   
long will it take that doctrine to save 
this world8  ,good1 honest people2 they 
are mistaken4  ,in old times they were  
very simple4  ,churches used to be like 
barns4 ,they used to have them          
divided--men on that side1 and women on 
this4 ,a little barbarous4  ,we have    
advanced since then1 and we now find as 
a fact1 demonstrated by experience1 that
 a man sitting by the woman he loves can
 thank ,god as heartily as though       
sitting between two men that he has     

never been introduced to4  ,there is    
another thing these ,methodists should  
remember1 and that is1 that the         
,episcopalians were the greatest enemies
 they ever had4  ,and they should       
remember that the ,free-,thinkers have  
always treated them kindly and well4    
,there is one thing about the ,methodist
 ,church in the ,north that ,i like4    
,but ,i find that it is not ,methodism  
that does that4  ,i find that the       
,methodist ,church in the ,south is as  
much opposed to liberty as the          
,methodist ,church ,north is in favor of
 liberty4  ,so it is not ,methodism that
 is in favor of liberty or slavery4     
,they differ a little in their creed    
from the rest4  ,they do not believe    
that ,god does everything4 ,they believe
 that ,he does ,his part1 and that you  
must do the rest1 and that getting to   
heaven is a partnership business4  ,the 
next church is the ,presbyterians--in my
 judgment the worst of all1 as far as   
creed is concerned4  ,this ,church was  

founded by ,john ,calvin1 a murderer6   
,john ,calvin1 having power in ,geneva1 
inaugurated human torture4  ,voltaire   
abolished torture in ,france4  ,the man 
who abolished torture1 if the ,christian
 religion be true1 ,god is now torturing
 in hell2 and the man who inaugurated   
torture1 is now a glorified angel in    
heaven4  ,it won't do4  ,john ,knox     
started this doctrine in ,scotland1 and 
there is this peculiarity about         
,presbyterianism1 it grows best where   
the soil is poorest4  ,i read the other 
day an account of a meeting between     
,john ,knox and ,john ,calvin4  ,imagine
 a dialogue between a pestilence and a  
famine6 ,imagine a conversation between 
a block and an ax6  ,as ,i read their   
conversation it seemed to me as though  
,john ,knox and ,john ,calvin were made 
for each other2 that they fitted each   
other like the upper and lower jaws of a
 wild beast4  ,they believed happiness  
was a crime2 they looked upon laughter  
as blasphemy1 and they did all they     

could to destroy every human feeling1   
and to fill the mind with the infinite  
gloom of predestination and eternal     
damnation4 ,they taught the doctrine    
that ,god had a right to damn us because
 ,he made us4  ,that is just the reason 
that ,he has not a right to damn us4    
,there is some dust4 ,unconscious dust6 
,what right has ,god to change that     
unconscious dust into a human being1    
when ,he knows that human being will    
sin2 and ,he knows that human being will
 suffer eternal agony8  ,why not leave  
him in the unconscious dust8  ,what     
right has an infinite ,god to add to the
 sum of human agony8  ,suppose ,i knew  
that ,i could change that piece of      
furniture into a living1 sentient human 
being1 and ,i knew that that being would
 suffer untold agony forever4  ,if ,i   
did it1 ,i would be a fiend4  ,i would  
leave that being in the unconscious     
dust4  ,and yet we are told that we must
 believe such a doctrine1 or we are to  
be eternally damned6  ,it won't do4  ,in

 #ahci there was a division in this     
,church1 and they had a lawsuit to see  
which was the ,church of ,god4  ,and    
they tried it by a judge and jury1 and  
the jury decided that the new school was
 the ,church of ,god1 and then they got 
a new trial1 and the next jury decided  
that the old school was the ,church of  
,god1 and that settled it4 ,that ,church
 teaches that infinite innocence was    
sacrificed for me6 ,i don't want it6  ,i
 don't wish to go to heaven unless ,i   
can settle by the books1 and go there   
because ,i ought to go there4  ,i have  
said1 and ,i say again1 ,i don't want to
 be a charity angel4  ,i have no        
ambition to become a winged pauper of   
the skies4  ,the other day a young      
gentleman1 a ,presbyterian1 who had just
 been converted1 came to me and gave me 
a tract and he told me he was perfectly 
happy4  ,ugh6  ,says ,i3 ,do you think a
 great many people are going to hell8   
,oh1 yes4  ,and you are perfectly happy8
 ,well1 he didn't know as he was quite4 

,wouldn't you be happier if they were   
all going to heaven8   ,o1 yes4  ,well1 
then you are not perfectly happy8 ,no1  
he didn't think he was4 ,says ,i3 ,when 
you get to heaven1 then you would be    
perfectly happy8  ,oh1 yes4  ,now1 when 
we are only going to hell1 you are not  
quite happy2 but when we are in hell1   
and you in heaven1 then you will be     
perfectly happy8 ,you won't be as decent
 when you get to be an angel as you are 
now1 will you8   ,well1 he said1 that   
was not exactly it4  ,said ,i3 ,suppose 
your mother were in hell1 would you be  
happy in heaven then8 ,well1  he says1  
,i suppose ,god would know the best     
place for mother4  ,and ,i thought to   
myself1 then1 if ,i was a woman1 ,i     
would like to have five or six boys like
 that4  ,it will not do4  ,heaven is    
where are those we love1 and those who  
love us4  ,and ,i wish to go to no world
 unless ,i can be accompanied by those  
who love me here4  ,talk about the      
consolations of this infamous doctrine4 

,the consolations of a doctrine that    
makes a father say1  ,i can be happy    
with my daughter in hell2 that makes a  
mother say1 ,i can be happy with my     
generous1 brave boy in hell2 that makes 
a boy say1 ,i can enjoy the glory of    
heaven with the woman who bore me1 the  
woman who would have died for me1 in    
eternal agony4 ,and they call that      
tidings of great joy4  ,i have not time 
to speak of the ,baptists1--that ,jeremy
 ,taylor said were as much to be rooted 
out as anything that is the greatest    
pest and nuisance on the earth4  ,nor of
 the ,quakers1 the best of all1 and     
abused by all4  ,i can not forget that  
,george ,fox1 in the year of grace      
#afdj1 was put in the pillory and       
whipped from town to town1 scarred1 put 
in a dungeon1 beaten1 trampled upon1 and
 what for8 ,simply because he preached  
the doctrine3 ,thou shalt not resist    
evil with evil4 ,thou shalt love thy    
enemies4  ,think what the ,church must  
have been that day to scar the flesh of 

that loving man6  ,just think of it6  ,i
 say ,i have not time to speak of all   
these sects4 ,and of the varieties of   
,presbyterians and ,campbellites4  ,the 
people who think they must dive in order
 to go up4 ,there are hundreds and      
hundreds of these sects1 all founded    
upon this creed that ,i read1 differing 
simply in degree4  ,ah but they say to  
me3 ,you are fighting something that is 
dead4  ,nobody believes this1 now4 ,the 
preachers do not believe what they      
preach in the pulpit4  ,the people in   
the pews do not believe what they hear  
preached4  ,and they say to me3 ,you are
 fighting something that is dead4  ,this
 is all a form1 we do not believe a     
solitary creed in it4 ,we sign it and   
swear that we believe it1 but we don't4 
,and none of us do4 ,and all the        
ministers they say in private1 admit    
that they do not believe it1 not quite4 
,i don't know whether this is so or not4
  ,i take it that they believe what they
 preach4  ,i take it that when they meet

 and solemnly agree to a creed1 ,i take 
it they are honest and solemnly believe 
in that creed4  ,the ,evangelical       
,alliance1 made up of all orthodox      
denominations of the world1 met only a  
few years ago1 and here is their creed3 
,they believe in the divine inspiration1
 authority1 and sufficiency of the ,holy
 ,scriptures2 the right and duty of     
private judgment in the interpretation  
of ,holy ,scriptures1 but if you        
interpret wrong you are damned4  ,they  
believe in the unity of the ,godhead and
 the trinity of the persons therein4    
,they believe in the utter depravity of 
human nature4 ,there can be no more     
infamous doctrine than that4  ,they look
 upon a little child as a lump of       
depravity4  ,i look upon it as a bud of 
humanity1 that will1 under proper       
circumstances1 blossom into rich and    
glorious life4  ,total depravity of     
human nature6  ,here is a woman whose   
husband has been lost at sea2 the news  
comes that he has been drowned by the   

ever-hungry waves1 and she waits4       
,there is something in her heart that   
tells her he is alive4  ,and she waits4 
,and years afterwards as she looks down 
toward the little gate1 she sees him2 he
 has been given back by the sea1 and she
 rushes to his arms and covers his face 
with kisses1 and with tears4 ,and if    
that infamous doctrine is true1 every   
tear is a crime1 and every kiss a       
blasphemy4  ,it won't do4  ,according to
 that doctrine1 if a man steals and     
repents1 and takes back the property1   
the repentance and the taking back of   
the property are two other crimes if he 
is totally depraved3 ,it is an infamy4  
,what else do they believe8 ,the        
justification of a sinner by faith      
alone1 without works1 just faith4       
,believing something that you don't     
understand4  ,of course ,god cannot     
afford to reward a man for believing    
anything that is reasonable4  ,god      
rewards only for believing something    
that is unreasonable1 if you believe    

something that you know is not so4      
,what else8  ,they believe in the       
eternal blessedness of the righteous1   
and in the eternal punishment of the    
wicked4  ,tidings of great joy6  ,they  
are so good that they will not associate
 with ,universalists4  ,they will not   
associate with ,unitarians4 ,they will  
not associate with scientists4 ,they    
will only associate with those who      
believed that ,god so loved the world   
that ,he made up his mind to damn the   
most of us4  ,then they say to me3 ,what
 do you propose8  ,you have torn this   
down2 what do you propose to give in the
 place of it8  ,i have not torn the good
 down4  ,i have only endeavored to      
trample out the ignorant1 cruel fires of
 hell4 ,i do not tear away the passage1 
,god will be merciful to the merciful4  
,i do not destroy the promise1  ,if you 
will forgive others1 ,god will forgive  
you4  ,i would not for anything blot out
 the faintest stars that shine in the   
horizon of human despair1 nor in the    

horizon of human hope2 but ,i will do   
what ,i can to get that infinite shadow 
out of the heart of man4  ,what do you  
propose to put in place of this8  ,well1
 in the first place1 ,i propose good    
fellowship--good friends all around4    
,no matter what we believe1 shake hands 
and let it go4 ,that is your opinion4   
,this is mine3 ,let us be friends4      
,science makes friends1                 
religion--superstition--makes enemies4  
,they say1 ,belief is important4  ,i say
 no1 good actions are important4 ,judge 
by deed1 not by creed1 good fellowship4 
,we have had too many of these solemn   
people4 ,whenever ,i see an exceedingly 
solemn man1 ,i know he is an exceedingly
 stupid man4  ,no man of any humor ever 
founded any religion--never4 ,humor sees
 both sides1 while reason is the holy   
light2 humor carries the lantern and the
 man with a keen sense of humor is      
preserved from the solemn stupidities of
 superstition4  ,i like a man who has   
got good feeling for everybody--good    

fellowship4  ,one man said to another3  
,will you take a glass of wine8  ,i     
don't drink4  ,will you smoke a cigar8  
,i don't smoke4  ,maybe you will chew   
something8  ,i don't chew4  ,let us eat 
some hay4  ,i tell you ,i don't eat hay4
  ,well1 then1 good-bye2 for you are no 
company for man or beast4  ,i believe in
 the gospel of cheerfulness1 the gospel 
of good nature1 the gospel of good      
health4  ,let us pray to our bodies4    
,take care of our bodies1 and our souls 
will take care of themselves4  ,good    
health6 ,and ,i believe that the time   
will come when the public thought will  
be so great and grand that it will be   
looked upon as infamous to perpetuate   
disease4 ,i believe the time will come  
when man will not fill the future with  
consumption and insanity4  ,i believe   
the time will come when we study        
ourselves1 and understand the laws of   
health1 that we will say1 ,we are under 
obligation to put the flags of health in
 the cheeks of our children4  ,even if  

,i got to heaven1 and had a harp1 ,i    
would hate to look back upon my children
 and grandchildren1 and see them        
diseased1 deformed1 crazed1 all         
suffering the penalties of crimes ,i had
 committed4  ,i1 then1 believe in the   
gospel of good health1 and ,i believe in
 a gospel of good living4  ,you can not 
make any ,god happy by fasting4 ,let us 
have good food1 and let us have it well 
cooked--and it is a thousand times      
better to know how to cook it than it is
 to understand any theology in the      
world4  ,i believe in the gospel of good
 clothes4 ,i believe in the gospel of   
good houses1 in the gospel of water and 
soap4 ,i believe in the gospel of       
intelligence1 in the gospel of          
education4 ,the school-house is my      
cathedral4  ,the universe is my ,bible4 
,i believe in that gospel of justice    
that we must reap what we sow4  ,i do   
not believe in forgiveness4  ,if ,i rob 
,mr4 ,smith and ,god forgives me1 how   
does that help ,smith8  ,if ,i1 by      

slander1 cover some poor girl with the  
leprosy of some imputed crime1 and she  
withers away like a blighted flower1 and
 afterward ,i get forgiveness1 how does 
that help her8  ,if there is another    
world we have got to settle4  ,no       
bankrupt court there4  ,pay down4  ,the 
,christians say1 that among the ancient 
,jews1 if you committed a crime you had 
to kill a sheep1 now they say1--,charge 
it4  ,put it upon the slate4  ,it won't 
do1 for every crime you commit you must 
answer to yourself and to the one you   
injure4 ,and if you have ever clothed   
another with unhappiness1 as with a     
garment of pain1 you will never be quite
 as happy as though you hadn't done that
 thing4 ,no forgiveness4  ,eternal1     
inexorable1 everlasting justice4  ,that 
is what ,i believe in4  ,and if it goes 
hard with me1 ,i will stand it1 and ,i  
will stick to in logic and ,i will bear 
it like a man4  ,and ,i believe1 too1 in
 the gospel of liberty1 in giving to    
others what we claim for ourselves4  ,i 

believe there is room everywhere for    
thought1 and the more liberty you give  
away the more you will have4 ,in        
liberty1 extravagance is economy4  ,let 
us be just4  ,let us be generous to each
 other4  ,i believe in the gospel of    
intelligence4  ,that is the only lever  
capable of raising mankind4             
,intelligence must be the savior of this
 world4 ,humanity is the grand religion1
 and no ,god can put another in hell in 
another world who has made a little     
heaven in this4  ,god cannot make a man 
miserable if that man has made somebody 
else happy4  ,god cannot hate anybody   
who is capable of loving anybody4  ,so  
,i believe in this great gospel of      
generosity4  ,ah6 but1 they say1  it    
won't do4  ,you must believe4  ,i say   
no4 ,my gospel of health will bring     
life4  ,my gospel of intelligence1 my   
gospel of good living1 my gospel of     
good-fellowship will cover the world    
with happy homes4  ,my doctrine will put
 carpets upon your floors1 pictures upon

 your walls4  ,my doctrine will put     
books upon your shelves1 ideas in your  
minds4  ,my doctrine will rid the world 
of the abnormal monsters born of the    
ignorance of superstition4  ,my doctrine
 will give us health1 wealth1 and       
happiness4  ,that is what ,i want4 ,that
 is what ,i believe in4 ,give us        
intelligence4  ,in a little while a man 
may find that he cannot steal without   
robbing himself4  ,he will find that he 
cannot murder without assassinating his 
own joy4  ,he will find that every crime
 is a mistake4  ,he will find that only 
that man carries the cross who does     
wrong1 and that the man who does right  
the cross turns to wings upon his       
shoulders that will bear him upwards    
forever4  ,he will find that intelligent
 self-love embraces within its mighty   
arms all the human race4  ,oh1 but they 
say to me1 you take away immortality4   
,i do not4 ,if we are immortal it is a  
fact in nature1 and we are not indebted 
to priests for it1 nor to ,bibles for   

it1 and it cannot be destroyed by       
unbelief4  ,as long as we love we will  
hope to live1 and when the one dies that
 we love1 we will say3 ,oh1 that we     
could meet again6  ,and whether we do or
 not1 it will not be the work of        
theology4  ,it will be a fact in nature4
  ,i would not for my life destroy one  
star of human hope2 but ,i want it so   
that when a poor woman rocks the cradle1
 and sings a lullaby to the dimpled     
darling1 that she will not be compelled 
to believe that1 ninety-nine chances in 
a hundred1 she is raising kindling-wood 
for hell4 ,one world at a time--that is 
my doctrine4  ,it is said in the        
,testament1 ,sufficient unto the day is 
the evil thereof and ,i say1 sufficient 
unto each world is the evil thereof4    
,and suppose1 after all1 that death does
 end all1 next to eternal joy1 next to  
being forever with those we love and    
those who have loved us1 next to that is
 to be wrapt in the dreamless drapery of
 eternal peace4  ,next to external life 

is eternal death4  ,upon the shadowy    
shore of death the sea of trouble casts 
no wave4  ,eyes that have been curtained
 by the everlasting dark will never know
 again the touch of tears4 ,lips that   
have been touched by eternal silence    
will never utter another word of grief4 
,hearts of dust do not break2 the dead  
do not weep4 ,and ,i had rather think of
 those ,i have loved1 and those ,i have 
lost1 as having returned1 as having     
become a part of the elemental wealth of
 the world--,i would rather think of    
them as unconscious dust--,i would      
rather think of them as gurgling in the 
stream1 floating in the clouds1 bursting
 in the foam of light upon the shores of
 worlds--,i would rather think of them  
as the inanimate and eternally          
unconscious1 that to have even a        
suspicion that their naked souls had    
been clutched by an orthodox ,god4  ,but
 for me1 ,i will leave the dead where   
nature leaves them4  ,and whatever      
flower of hope springs up in my heart ,i

 will cherish2 but ,i can not believe   
that there is any being in this universe
 who has created a human soul for       
eternal pain4  ,and ,i would rather that
 every ,god would destroy himself2 ,i   
would rather that we all should go to   
eternal chaos1 to black and starless    
night1 that that just one soul should   
suffer eternal agony4  ,i have made up  
my mind that if there is a ,god1 he will
 be merciful to the merciful4  ,upon    
that rock ,i stand4 ,that he will       
forgive the forgiving4  ,upon that rock 
,i stand4  ,that every man should be    
true to himself1 and that there is no   
world1 no star1 in which honesty is a   
crime4  ,and upon that rock ,i stand4   
,the honest man1 the good1 kind1 sweet  
woman1 the happy child1 has nothing to  
fear1 neither in this world1 nor the    
world to come4  ,and upon that rock ,i  
stand4      ,,ingersoll',s ,,answer ,,to
 ,,prof4 ,,swing1 ,,dr4 ,,thomas1 ,,and 
,,others    ,after looking over the     
replies made to his new lecture1 ,col4  

,ingersoll was asked by a ,tribune      
reporter what he thought of them4  ,he  
replied as follows3  ,i think they dodge
 the point4  ,the real point is this3   
,if salvation by faith is the real      
doctrine of ,christianity1 ,i asked on  
,sunday before last1 and ,i still ask1  
why didn't ,matthew tell it8  ,i still  
insist that ,mark should have remembered
 it1 and ,i shall always believe that   
,luke ought1 at least1 to have noticed  
it4  ,i was endeavoring to show that    
modern ,christianity has for its basis  
an interpolation4  ,i think ,i showed   
it4 ,the only gospel on the orthodox    
side is that of ,john1 and that was     
certainly not written1 or did not appear
 in its present form1 until long after  
the others were written4  ,i know very  
well that the ,catholic ,church claimed 
during the ,dark ,ages1 and still       
claims1 that references had been made to
 the gospels by persons living in the   
first1 second and third centuries2 but  
,i believe such manuscripts were        

manufactured by the ,catholic ,church4  
,for many years in ,europe there was not
 one person in #bj1jjj who could read   
and write4 ,during that time the ,church
 had in its keeping the literature of   
our world4  ,they interpolated as they  
pleased4  ,they created4  ,they         
destroyed4  ,in other words1 they did   
whatever in their opinion was necessary 
to substantiate the faith4  ,the        
gentlemen who saw fit to reply did not  
answer the question1 and ,i again call  
upon the clergy to explain to the people
 why1 if salvation depended upon belief 
in the ,lord ,jesus ,christ1 ,matthew   
did not mention it4  ,some one has said 
that ,christ didn't make known this     
doctrine of salvation by belief or faith
 until after ,his resurrection4         
,certainly none of the gospels were     
written until after ,his resurrection2  
and if ,he made that doctrine known     
after ,his resurrection1 and before ,his
 ascension1 it should have been in      
,matthew1 ,mark1 and ,luke1 as well as  

,john4  ,the replies of the clergy show 
that they have not investigated the     
subject2 that they are not well         
acquainted with the ,new ,testament4 ,in
 other words1 they have not read it     
except with the regulation theological  
bias4  ,there is one thing ,i wish to   
correct here4  ,in an editorial in the  
,tribune it was stated that ,i had      
admitted that ,christ was beyond and    
above ,buddha1 ,zoroaster1 ,confucius1  
and others4 ,i didn't say so4  ,another 
point was made against me1 and those who
 made it seemed to think it was a good  
one4  ,in my lecture ,i asked why it was
 that the ,disciples of ,christ wrote in
 ,greek1 whereas1 in fact1 they         
understood only ,hebrew4  ,it is now    
claimed that ,greek was the language of 
,jerusalem at that time2 that ,hebrew   
had fallen into disuse2 that no one     
understood it except the literati and   
the highly educated4  ,if ,i fell into  
an error upon this point it was because 
,i relied upon the ,new ,testament4  ,i 

find in the twenty-first chapter of the 
,acts an account of ,paul having been   
mobbed in the city of ,jerusalem2 that  
he was protected by a ,chief ,captain   
and some soldiers2 that1 when upon the  
stairs of the castle to which he was    
being taken for protection1 he obtained 
leave from the ,captain to speak unto   
the people4  ,in the fortieth verse of  
that chapter ,i find the following3     
,and when he had given him license1     
,paul stood on the stairs and beckoned  
with the hand unto the people2 and when 
there was made a great silence he spake 
unto them in the ,hebrew tongue1        
saying--  ,and then follows the speech  
of ,paul1 wherein he gives an account of
 his conversion4  ,it seems a little    
curious to me that ,paul for the purpose
 of quieting the mob1 would speak to    
that mob in an unknown language4 ,if ,i 
were mobbed in the city of ,chicago1 and
 wished to defend myself with an        
explanation1 ,i certainly would not make
 that explanation in ,chocktaw1 even if 

,i understood that tongue4  ,my present 
opinion is that ,i would speak in       
,english2 and the reason ,i would speak 
in ,english is1 because that language is
 generally understood in this city4     
,and so ,i conclude from the account in 
the twenty-first chapter of the ,acts   
that ,hebrew was the language of        
,jerusalem at that time1 or that ,paul  
would not have addressed the mob in that
 tongue4  ,did you read ,mr4 ,courtney's
 answer8  ,i read what ,mr4 ,courtney   
read from others1 and think some of his 
quotations very good2 and have no doubt 
that the authors will feel complimented 
by being quoted4  ,but what about there 
being belief in ,matthew8  ,mr4         
,courtney says that certain people were 
cured of diseases on account of faith4  
,admitting that mumps1 measles1 and     
whooping-cough could be cured in that   
way1 there is not even a suggestion that
 salvation depended upon a like faith4  
,i think he can hardly afford to rely   
upon the miracles of the ,new ,testament

 to prove his doctrine4 ,there is one   
instance in which a miracle was         
performed by ,christ without ,his       
knowledge4  ,and ,i hardly think that   
even ,mr4 ,courtney would insist that   
any faith could have been great enough  
for that4 ,the fact is1 ,i believe that 
all these miracles were ascribed to     
,christ long after ,his death1 and that 
,christ never1 at any time or place1    
pretended to have any supernatural power
 whatever4  ,neither do ,i believe that 
,he claimed any supernatural origin4    
,he claimed simply to be a man--no less1
 no more4 ,i don't believe ,mr4         
,courtney is satisfied with his own     
reply4  ,and now as to ,prof4 ,swing8   
,mr4 ,swing has been out of the orthodox
 church so long that he seems to have   
forgotten the reasons for which he left 
it4 ,i don't believe there is an        
orthodox minister in the city of        
,chicago who will agree with ,mr4 ,swing
 that salvation by faith is no longer   
preached4  ,prof4 ,swing seems to think 

it of no importance who wrote the       
,gospel of ,st4 ,matthew4  ,in this ,i  
agree with him4   ,judging from what he 
said1 there is hardly difference enough 
of opinion between us to justify a reply
 on his part4 ,he1 however1 makes one   
mistake4 ,i did not in the lecture say  
one word about tearing churches down4 ,i
 have no objection to people building   
all the churches they wish4 ,while ,i   
admit that it is a pretty sight to see  
children on a morning in ,june going    
through the fields to the country       
church1 ,i still insist that the beauty 
of that sight doesn't answer the        
question how it is that ,matthew forgot 
to say anything about salvation through 
,christ4  ,prof4 ,swing is a man of     
poetic temperament2 but this is not a   
poetic question4  ,how did the card of  
,dr4 ,thomas strike you8  ,i think the  
reply of ,dr4 ,thomas in the best       
possible spirit4  ,i regard him to day  
as the best intellect in the ,methodist 
denomination4 ,he seems to have what is 

generally understood as a ,christian    
spirit4 ,he has always treated me with  
perfect fairness1 and ,i should have    
said long ago many grateful things1 had 
,i not feared ,i might hurt with his own
 people4 ,he seems to be by nature a    
perfectly fair man2 and ,i know of no   
man in the ,united ,states for whom ,i  
have a profounder respect4 ,of course ,i
 don't agree with ,mr4 ,thomas4  ,i     
think in many things he is mistaken4    
,but ,i believe him to be perfectly     
sincere4 ,there is one trouble about    
him1--he is growing2 and this fact will 
no doubt give great trouble to many of  
his brethren4  ,certain ,methodist      
hazelbrush feel a little uneasy in the  
shadow of his oak4  ,are you going to   
make a formal reply to their sermons4   
,not unless something better is done    
than has been4  ,of course ,i don't know
 what another ,sabbath may bring forth4 
,i am waiting4  ,but of one thing ,i    
feel perfectly assured2 that no man in  
the ,united ,states1 or in the world1   

can account for the fact1 if we are to  
be saved only by faith in ,christ1 that 
,matthew forgot it1 that ,luke said     
nothing about it1 and that ,mark never  
mentioned it except in two passages     
written by another person4  ,until that 
is answered1 as one grave-digger says to
 the other in ,hamlet1 ,i shall say3    
',ay1 tell me that and unyoke4'  ,in the
 meantime1 ,i wish to keep on the best  
terms with all parties concerned4 ,i    
cannot see why my forgiving spirit fails
 to gain their sincere praise4