,transcriber's note3 ,unusual and inconsistent spelling is as printed4 ,illustration3 ,pollie had all the cooking to do and the bread to make4 ,just in ,time4 ,,by ,,catharine ,,shaw ,,author ,,of ,,dickie',s ,,attic1 ,,dickie',s ,,secret1 ,,alick',s ,,hero1 ,,etc4 ,,etc4 ,,new ,,edition ,,john ,f4 ,,shaw ,,and ,,co41 ,,ltd4 ,publishers #c1 ,,pilgrim ,,street1 ,,london1 ,e4,c4 ,illustration ,,contents4 ,illustration ,,chapter ,i4 ,,at ,,the ,,mill ,,chapter ,,ii4 ,,laura',s ,,secret ,,chapter ,,iii4 ,a ,,new ,,friend ,,chapter ,,iv4 ,,pollie ,,keeps ,,her ,,promise ,,chapter ,v4 ,,the ,,picnic ,,chapter ,,vi4 ,,apollyon ,,meets ,,pollie ,,chapter ,,vii4 ,,pollie',s ,,battle-,,field ,,chapter ,,viii4 ,,hard ,,things ,,chapter ,,ix4 ,,submission ,,chapter ,x4 ,,telling ,,father ,,chapter ,,xi4 ,,hope ,,chapter ,,xii4 ,,off ,,to ,,london ,,chapter ,,xiii4 ,,pollie ,,recognises ,a ,,friend ,,chapter ,,xiv4 ,i ,,never ,,thought ,,of ,,it6 ,,chapter ,,xv4 ,,visitors ,,at ,,shanklin ,,chapter ,,xvi4 ,,missionaries ,,at ,,home ,illustration ,illustration ,,just ,,in ,,time4 ,illustration ,,chapter ,i4 ,,at ,,the ,,mill4 ,,pollie1 why have you not cleared up those weeds8 asked ,pollie's mother from the mill door4 ,pollie was sitting in the fork of the old apple-tree1 with her head bending over a book4 ,she raised it a little1 and allowed her voice just to go round the corner of her sun-bonnet and no more1 ,i forgot1 mother4 ,i wish you did not forget so often1 my dear1 said her mother4 ,your life is a string of forgets4 ,pollie's head went down again1 but a frown settled on her pretty face4 ,she did wish that her mother would let her be1 and not always be finding out things she had not done4 ,her ,aunt ,elizabeth did not find so much amiss with ,laura or ,clara2 nor1 for the matter of that1 did her own mother seem to rebuke her brother ,jim half as much as she did her4 ,she wished she could live with ,aunt ,elizabeth1 then she would be able to do just as she liked4 ,aunt ,elizabeth would say1 ,pollie1 my dear1 would you get so-and-so for me8 or1 ,pollie1 my dear1 ,i want you and ,laura to go for a message1 will you8 ,it was much pleasanter than ,pollie1 put on your hat and go down to your ,uncle ,brown's6 ,i say1 called ,jim1 breaking in on this reverie1 where's the hoe8 ,father's been looking for it for ever so long1 and ,i said ,i knew you had had it last4 ,i forgot to put it away1 said ,pollie4 ,it is by the waterbutt4 ,just get it for him1 ,jim4 ,not ,i1 said ,jim1 walking away down the steep path4 ,you must go and get it for him4 ,pollie got down quickly4 ,if ever she did anything willingly1 it was for her father6 ,eh1 my little girl1 he said1 this is like you4 ,to think you should have wasted ten minutes of my time1 and there it was behind the butt all the while6 ,he drew it out from its hiding-place with some difficulty2 it would stick against the brick wall4 ,how did it get here8 he asked patiently4 ,it fell down behind1 and ,i didn't stay to pull it out1 said ,pollie4 ,did you never stop to think that whatsoever your hand findeth to do should be done with your might1 eh1 ,pollie8 ,no1 father4 ,i have1 many's the time1 said the miller1 and those sort of hindrances aren't hindrances at all4 ,they bring you into contact with your ,lord1 and ,i know nothing better than that for helping you along with your work6 ,pollie did not answer4 ,she did not mind hearing her father talk so1 at least1 not much4 ,but if it had been her mother1 she would have flown off and not have heard half of it4 ,so she went back to her apple-tree and opened her book once more1 but she was not to be left in peace4 ,pollie6 came from the mill door4 ,pollie6 ,yes1 mother4 ,come right in and set the tea4 ,i told you that when you heard the wheels of your father's cart you were to come right in1 and ,i was out at the back and didn't notice4 ,your father's been home this quarter1 ,i do believe1 and the tea isn't ready4 ,i forgot1 mother1 said ,pollie ungraciously4 ,i'd have come if you had called me4 ,her mother went back to her work1 and ,pollie hastened in4 ,that her father should be made uncomfortable did not suit her at all4 ,but though she knew her tiresomeness made her mother uncomfortable1 she told herself that she certainly could not help that4 ,she set about getting the tea with a will1 however4 ,and as she was a very capable girl1 it did not take long before she was standing at the mill door again1 clapping her hands as a sign that her father and brother were to come in4 ,jim and she were not always the best of friends4 ,her faults lay in one direction1 ,jim's in another4 ,if ,pollie forgot too often1 ,jim did not forget often enough4 ,he was always reminding people of things which were not done1 and especially remembered all his sister's delinquencies1 and pointed them out ruthlessly4 ,how late tea is6 he remarked as they sat down4 ,his mother looked up and said1 ,yes it is2 ,pollie forgot to come in4 ,pollie crimsoned1 for she had bustled about so heartily that it was but little after the usual time4 ,her father's words1 however1 brought sudden tears into her eyes1 which she would have given something to stop4 ,say instead1 ,jim1 'how nicely somebody has got our tea for us6' ,it's ,poll's duty1 persisted ,jim4 ,i don't see that she deserves any praise4 ,how did a son of mine feel just now1 when ,i told him that he had put that hay away very cleverly8 ,jim's eyes went down1 and there was silence for a moment4 ,i could do all ,poll's duties and my own too1 if she were not here1 he remarked presently4 ,perhaps you'll have to1 said his mother a little dryly1 though there was a smile in her eyes4 ,how8 asked ,jim1 too astounded to say more4 ,you will find that you cannot do quite all4 ,but as the holidays are coming1 ,i am going to spare ,pollie to visit her aunt ,elizabeth4 ,you will be at home all day to help me1 and a change will do ,pollie good4 ,pollie turned hot and cold4 ,did her mother really mean it8 ,but her mother was not apt to say things which she did not mean4 ,and if she meant it1 why had she not told her quietly by herself1 instead of announcing such a piece of news to ,jim4 ,she felt very bitter1 and said to herself that the pleasure of going was quite spoilt by the way in which she had been told4 ,should you like it1 ,mary8 her mother said kindly4 ,yes1 mother1 very much1 if-- ,if what1 my dear8 ,if--if you do not want me1 and if-- then she burst into tears and sobbing out something about ,jim being so unkind1 burst from the room4 ,what is this1 ,jim8 asked their mother4 ,nothing at all1 said ,jim4 ,i haven't said a word to her but what you heard4 ,she's a stupid cry-baby6 ,their mother could not suppose that ,pollie could take to heart the chance words of her brother1 quite two years her junior1 and looking after her daughter rather soberly1 she met her husband's eyes4 ,she'll be better for a little change1 he said1 with that tenderness which all their lives had been 'just father' to the children4 ,my poor little ,pollie wants one thing1 and until she has that1 her heart cannot be at rest4 ,what's that1 father8 asked ,jim curiously4 ,i think ,pollie has the best of everything-- ,she needs ,jesus1 he said softly1 as he rose and pushed back his chair1 and ,i am praying every day that she may find ,him4 ,illustration ,illustration ,,chapter ,,ii4 ,,laura',s ,,secret4 ,,pollie was fifteen1 and life had flowed along peacefully as to outward circumstances4 ,but beneath the surface1 there were currents and rocks and hidden difficulties which no one guessed but herself4 ,from her earliest days1 her strong will had set itself up in opposition to her mother1 and though at times her sweetness of disposition conquered1 life with her was indeed a hard struggle4 ,her father1 tender and wise as he was1 pleaded with her in vain2 or if he succeeded in shewing her her duty for a little while1 some difficulty was sure shortly to arise1 and then all her good intentions flew to the winds1 and ,pollie was as far from heartfelt submission as ever4 ,so she set out to visit her aunt ,elizabeth with a clouded heart4 ,her mother's preparations1 kind and thoughtful as they were1 gave her but little pleasure1 for her heart was sore and hard4 ,if only she could been have taken to her mother's heart with a forgiving hug1 she thought she could have gone in rags willingly6 ,so her father drove to the market-town and put her into the train under care of the guard1 to be set down at her aunt's station1 nearly a hundred miles off and halfway between her home and ,exeter4 ,remember there's always the blessed ,lord and ,saviour1 everywhere1 were his last words1 whispered as he kissed her in the train4 ,and ,pollie set forth on her journey1 and in due time arrived at her destination4 ,it was three years since she had visited at her aunt's1 and she did not know the tall cousin who was standing on the platform waiting for her4 ,laura1 a pretty girl of eighteen1 soon spied her1 however1 for ,pollie had not altered much since she had last seen her4 ,she and ,clara stepped forward and claimed their country cousin1 who looked quite shy when she saw what fashionable young ladies were come to meet her4 ,here is the trap1 said ,clara4 ,where is your box1 ,mary8 ,pollie did not know that her uncle had a trap4 ,she began to be afraid they would have got too grand for her4 ,how you have grown1 ,mary1 said her aunt as they sat at tea1 but you have the same face4 ,i should know you anywhere4 ,when the girls have smartened you up a bit1 you will look quite as old as ,clara4 ,pollie bit her lips4 ,she had thought her mother had done all that was necessary for her1 and in the remembrance of her thoughtful care1 she felt more tender towards her than she had ever done4 ,she said to herself that her mother would never have said such a thing as that to a newly-come visitor4 ,a wave of home-sickness seized her1 and she had much ado to keep back her tears4 ,tea was over at last1 and ,pollie made her escape4 ,come upstairs and unpack your things1 said ,clara4 ,i do love seeing people's new things6 ,pollie murmured something of not having so very many things1 but the girls did not seem to hear4 ,and presently all her clothes were spread out on the bed1 and her cousins were looking them over with such remarks as ,that will be for mornings--with a nice ribbon for her neck4 ,that would be pretty fair for afternoons if that trimming were put on better--,i daresay we could do that4 ,well1 what else have you got8 ,that is my best dress1 said ,pollie1 hesitating4 ,isn't it good enough8 ,that1 asked ,laura1 with an intonation of surprise that made ,pollie's cheeks burn4 ,oh1 ,i thought perhaps you had another in the tray of your box4 ,never mind1 said ,clara presently1 they will do all right4 ,ma said she should get ,mary a dress if necessary4 ,you see1 ,pollie1 we go out ever so much1 and have to be nice4 ,but these will do for common very well4 ,laura had turned away towards the glass1 and was putting on a very stylish hat4 ,is that yours8 asked ,pollie1 glad to leave the topic of her wardrobe for that of her cousins4 ,she wished heartily that she were back at the mill1 and could hear her mother's voice1 saying in those quick tones1 ,there's your father1 ,pollie1 run and open the door6 ,instead came ,laura's complacent answer--,yes1 of course it is4 ,do you like it8 ,it is sweetly pretty1 said ,pollie admiringly1 only it looks almost like a fashion-book4 ,do you think so8 asked ,laura1 gratified2 then added with a giggle to her sister1 ,that's what ,h4 ,f4 said yesterday4 ,who is ,h4 ,f48 asked ,pollie4 ,oh1 my dear1 you don't know of course4 ,h4 ,f4 is a new star that has dawned on our horizon4 ,you will see him all in good time--from afar--if you keep your eyes open4 ,pollie blushed1 she hardly knew why4 ,this seemed so different from the way anyone talked at home4 ,hush6 said ,clara4 ,here's ma4 ,well1 my dears1 said ,mrs4 ,brown1 what are you doing8 ,i am going to the ,cleavers1 ma1 said ,laura1 and ,clara is going to help ,mary put away her things1 and then they are going to take you out if you care to go4 ,i do not know that ,i do to-night4 ,clara can come down and read to me while ,i finish that blouse for her4 ,oh1 ,i don't want to read1 said ,clara1 it would be so dull4 ,besides1 ,i am going out1 ma1 such a lovely evening4 ,if you want to read so particularly1 do not trouble about my blouse4 ,mrs4 ,brown looked vexed4 ,is that the way you do to your mother1 ,mary8 she asked1 as she listlessly turned over ,pollie's dresses4 ,i don't know1 auntie1 hesitated ,pollie1 because ,i haven't anywhere to go you know-- ,not anywhere to go8 ,are you buried alive1 child8 ,you look rather like it6 ,ma1 said ,clara1 don't say that4 ,come1 ,pollie1 ,i'll turn up your hair for you1 and see if ,i shan't smarten you up6 ,that will be fun4 ,and then you and ,i will go out1 and ma can read that old novel in peace4 ,as she spoke1 she drew out the bow that tied ,pollie's long plait1 and rapidly undid her beautiful shining braids4 ,what a lot4 ,look1 ma6 ,would you not give something if we girls had such a head of hair8 ,mrs4 ,brown did not answer4 ,she gave half a glance at her niece1 and then said suddenly1 ,i tell you what1 if ,clara is bent on going out1 we will go to-night and get you a dress for best1 or a couple of dresses4 ,then they can be made at once1 and will be ready in a day or two4 ,all right1 said ,clara1 ,i shan't be long over this4 ,that is coming splendidly4 ,now1 what dress will you put on to go shopping with ma8 ,this best one is the only one that is fit4 ,mrs4 ,brown had left the room1 so had ,laura4 ,i say1 ,pollie1 ,i'll tell you a secret1 only you must keep as still as still about it4 ,that ,i know you can do4 ,but if ma were to guess1 she would spoil all the fun4 ,pollie was silent1 debating whether she should receive the confidence or not1 and half afraid that stormy times were in front of her4 ,before she could make any decision1 ,clara had gone on in a low tone-- ,laura is very much admired1 as ,i daresay you can guess4 ,she is very pretty-- ,and where we go they have a lot of folks round1 and young men from the town4 ,we are going to have a picnic next week1 and then you will see some of them4 ,but there is one above all the rest that ,laura favours and there is a little mystery about him which makes him doubly interesting4 ,he's been abroad a great deal1 but he told ,laura he had never seen anyone to compare with her-- ,does he come here8 asked ,pollie innocently4 ,oh no1 my dear4 ,how green you are6 ,even if ma were to allow it1 pa is dreadfully strict1 almost as bad as uncle at the mill1 and he would think ,laura a great deal too young4 ,oh1 no1 it's our secret at present4 ,time enough when-- ,clara paused1 and ,pollie looked up with an earnest gaze into her cousin's face4 ,i'm afraid it isn't right1 she said slowly4 ,i wish you hadn't told me--or1 at least1 ,i wish that ,laura and you wouldn't do anything like that4 ,like what8 asked ,clara1 drawing back a little4 ,don't be straight-laced1 whatever you do1 ,pollie6 ,i didn't know ,i was1 said ,pollie4 ,of course you were6 ,would you have us bow to any young man we meet1 and say we must not speak to him on any account8 ,pollie felt very foolish1 and did not know what to answer1 while still she felt that her favourite cousin had grown different since the year before1 when they had had such a happy time together at the mill4 ,there6 ,now you look lovely1 said ,clara4 ,just peep in the glass4 ,put on this dress now1 ,mary1 and ,i'll go and tell ma that we are nearly ready4 ,so ,pollie was left alone4 ,oh for her father to tell her what was right and wrong4 ,she felt all mixed up1 and so home-sick that she could willingly have packed her box again and set off home that very minute4 ,she sat down on a chair by the window and swiped away two or three scalding tears4 ,why would not her dresses do1 and why had her cousins glanced at each other1 as they lifted out the hat her mother had trimmed for her with such care8 ,pollie1 ,pollie1 where are you8 called ,clara4 ,ma is waiting1 and she is quite vexed we have been so long4 ,mrs4 ,brown had a cloud on her brow4 ,put on your other hat1 will you1 ,mary1 my dear8 ,as we are going shopping1 she said1 as ,pollie ran down into the hall4 ,for a moment ,pollie paused1 utter refusal in her heart and in her eyes4 ,then courtesy to her aunt and hostess prevailed1 and she turned upstairs again slowly1 thinking that this was the very hardest thing she had ever had to do in all her life4 ,illustration ,illustration ,,chapter ,,iii4 ,a ,,new ,,friend4 ,,that is better1 my dear1 remarked her aunt1 when she re-appeared with her best hat on4 ,you must not mind1 ,mary1 if ,i get you a few things3 ,i told your mother ,i should do so4 ,you see town ways are so different from country ways1 and what will do for a village will not do for ,chichester4 ,so two smarter dresses were purchased1 and then ,pollie was led into the millinery department1 where her aunt chose a new hat for her1 remarking that ,clara had better retrim the one she had on1 to make it look more fashionable4 ,pollie tried to cheer up1 but her heart felt like lead4 ,ten times better would it have been to bear the heaviest yoke that had ever been given her at home6 ,the dresses were to be made at the draper's at which they were purchased1 and were promised for the next evening2 the hat was to be sent home at once1 and with a few ribbons and gloves the party returned home1 ,clara congratulating her cousin with bright smiles1 on the pretty new things which she had received4 ,thus1 ,pollie settled down to her visit4 ,no more was said about her clothes1 and so long as she put on what they suggested1 she was now free to enjoy herself4 ,clara was very kind to her1 and to a certain extent she did enjoy herself4 ,but the two sisters had a good many secrets from which she was excluded4 ,laura was out a great deal1 and seldom enlarged on what she had done1 and where she had been1 to her family circle4 ,she attended classes at the ,school of ,art1 and went and came very much as she liked4 ,but ,pollie1 who saw a little more of what went on behind the scenes1 fancied that her devotion to art was more assumed than real4 ,she could not help noticing that she went early and returned late1 and that ,clara and she always had secrets when she returned from the lessons4 ,flowers1 which were put into vases in her bedroom1 but never appeared downstairs1 became more frequent as the days came and went4 ,and once1 meeting her cousin in the hall unexpectedly1 ,pollie saw her put her hand down by her side as if to conceal something4 ,and when she next went into ,laura's room1 a glass of lovely fresh roses stood on her dressing-table1 which had not been there half an hour before4 ,polls felt very uneasy1 and once or twice tried to hint a protest to ,clara4 ,oh1 my dear1 what nonsense6 was her light answer4 ,all is fair in love and war1 you know4 ,ma will know all in good time if there is anything to know1 and if not1 where is the good8 ,all the girls of our acquaintance have somebody devoted to them1 and why should not ,laura8 ,i don't know1 sighed ,pollie4 ,i wish ,i knew4 ,it can't be right to be secret over it4 ,i'm not at all nice to mother at home1 but ,i never keep anything from her6 ,that's your way1 and this is ours1 said ,clara1 comfortably4 ,there would be no fun in life if we came and told ma everything4 ,i am afraid it isn't right1 persisted ,pollie1 and ,i don't believe ,laura will be a bit the happier for it4 ,she looks so restless now1 and turns so red and white whenever anyone speaks to her4 ,nonsense6 said ,clara1 looking rather uneasy4 ,what a stupid little thing you are4 ,we move in a perfectly different circle from you1 and you can't judge4 ,pa's shop is ever so much better a position than your mill1 and girls like us do differently of course to what you do4 ,why we keep two servants1 and you haven't one6 ,it is not riches but right1 said ,pollie1 stoutly1 though she felt very hurt1 and turned to her book resolutely1 wishing once again that she were back at her mother's side1 helping her with the housework1 and doing even the little services which she particularly disliked4 ,one morning her uncle said to her at breakfast1 ,mary1 ,i am going to drive a little way out of town to-day4 ,there's an old lady lives there that your father wished you to call on4 ,i have not had an opportunity yet1 but we will go to-day4 ,pollie was delighted to go with her kind1 genial uncle1 especially as she would have him all to herself1 and she enjoyed that drive more than anything she had done since she had been at ,chichester4 ,mr4 ,brown said he had business further on1 and promised to call for her in half an hour4 ,so ,pollie entered the little rose-covered house1 and was ushered by a smart little maid into the presence of her father's friend4 ,welcome1 my dear1 said the old lady4 ,i have been looking for you for a fortnight1 but you've come now1 and we will enjoy each other ,i hope4 ,sit down1 my dear1 and take that plate of strawberries1 and help yourself to some cream4 ,there6 ,such a hot day as this1 they are acceptable4 ,and while you eat them1 ,i will have some too1 to keep you company4 ,pollie had been dreadfully shy1 but the sweet old lady was so cosy that she felt at ease at once4 ,and by the time she had helped her to some fruit and sugar1 she thought it was impossible she could have been a perfect stranger only five minutes ago4 ,the old lady chatted away to her1 and only seemed to play with her own strawberries4 ,she told her stories of her dear father when he was a boy1 and described his home so vividly that ,pollie felt as if she had been to ,exeter1 and had sat in the farmhouse kitchen and shelled her grandmother's peas in the sunny window4 ,the half-hour slipped by all too fast1 and ,pollie had taken a low stool1 and was holding her new friend's hand and looking in her face1 when she said gently3 ,little ,pollie1 is your father's ,saviour your ,saviour8 ,the colour rushed to ,pollie's cheeks4 ,what would she have given to be able to have said ,yes to that question8 ,the old lady saw the answer even before ,pollie's lips framed the sorrowful little sentence1 ,i'm afraid not1 ma'am4 ,poor little ,pollie1 she said softly1 then added brightly1 ,there's no reason why ,he should not be this very day though4 ,he says1 ',him that cometh to ,me ,i will in no wise cast out4' ,pollie did not answer4 ,it seemed so hard and difficult to her4 ,ask him to draw you1 dear6 ,will you8 ,again ,pollie hesitated4 ,did she dare to give such a promise as that8 ,the old lady did not press it4 ,has your uncle taken you to the ,town ,hall1 where they are having such beautiful meetings8 ,pollie shook her head4 ,not8 ,well1 ,i am surprised4 ,there's a young man there that is drawing quite a crowd every night1 and numbers are finding a blessed ,saviour1 and through ,him eternal life4 ,will you go and hear him1 ,pollie8 ,i will if ,i can1 said ,pollie1 looking up earnestly4 ,then they heard her uncle's trap draw up at the gate1 and ,pollie jumped up and flung her arms round her father's friend4 ,oh1 ,i'm so glad ,i came6 she said4 ,may ,i come again if uncle will bring me8 ,by all means1 said ,miss ,loveday4 ,good-bye1 dear6 ,good-bye1 said ,pollie1 hastening to the door4 ,then1 ere she opened it1 she ran back and imprinted one more kiss on the white cheek4 ,i didn't answer you1 she whispered4 ,i will do what you said6 ,illustration ,illustration ,,chapter ,,iv4 ,,pollie ,,keeps ,,her ,,promise4 ,,pollie had made two promises1 and as she drove along by her uncle's side1 she was earnestly considering how she should set about keeping them4 ,she did not1 however1 guess the difficulties that would be raised when she got back1 or she would have gained her uncle's permission at once4 ,when she asked at dinner if she could go to the meeting that evening at the ,town ,hall1 her aunt and cousins made so many objections that ,pollie did not know how to press the matter further4 ,she subsided with burning cheeks1 and the more they told her she ought not to go1 the more she longed to do so4 ,what is it1 ,mary8 asked her uncle1 coming in just as ,laura was saying something about its not being respectable4 ,i promised ,miss ,loveday to go to the ,town ,hall to-night if you and ,aunt ,elizabeth would allow me8 said ,pollie1 her eyes filling with tears at his kind look4 ,well8 ,but ,aunt ,elizabeth does not think ,i can go4 ,i'll talk to your aunt1 ,mary4 ,if you have promised an old friend1 ,i should like you to go--,i will take you myself4 ,mrs4 ,brown shrugged her shoulders1 and no more was said4 ,but in the evening1 her uncle told ,pollie to bundle on her hat1 and they went together4 ,she had another promise to keep1 and as she sat in the packed audience1 her heart beat fast when she remembered that now was a chance which might never come again1 and what if she did not take it8 99 99 99 99 99 ,some of you have come here to-night above all things to make a decision1 and you almost dread that the evening should be over and you should go back to the old life just your old self4 ,and well you may4 ,you feel you cannot save yourselves2 that is true1 to be sure4 ,you say you have no faith1 and that is probably true too4 ,but don't look for faith with your weary eyes2 don't try to save yourselves with your weary hearts4 ,the remedy is ,jesus4 ,look how these ,israelites got better of their deadly snakebites4 ,not by trying to save themselves from the fiery serpents2 not by looking within themselves to see if they had faith2 but they were saved simply by looking off to the appointed way of healing which ,god had provided--the serpent of brass raised high on a pole in their midst--and so looking1 and so believing1 the thing was done2 they lived4 ,that is how we believe in ,jesus ,christ4 ,he says ,himself1 ',as ,moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness1 even so must the ,son of man be lifted up3 that whosoever believeth in ,him should not perish1 but have everlasting life4' 99 99 99 99 99 ,it was over4 ,pollie and her uncle walked slowly home in the ,june twilight4 ,wonderful6 said ,mr4 ,brown1 looking up into the deep blue vault above him4 ,wonderful that ,i never saw that before4 ,pollie was almost sorry that he had spoken1 but she thought that she ought to answer1 so she said3 ,what1 uncle8 thinking it was a bright star he meant4 ,i've heard those words hundreds of times1 but to-night ,god has opened my eyes1 and ,i have seen ,his glory for the first time-- ,pollie squeezed his arm4 ,i thought it was some great thing to do to be saved4 ,i find it was only a look1 eh1 ,pollie8 ,yes1 whispered ,pollie very low4 ,how long have 'you' known what that look meant8 he said1 bending down to her4 ,could ,pollie speak8 ,her tongue seemed as if it were tied4 ,then she thought suddenly1 ,with the mouth confession is made1 and she suddenly looked up with all her heart in her eyes4 ,oh1 uncle1 ,i've had father and mother all my life1 but it's only just now that ,i--that ,i've had ,jesus6 ,i never knew before1 but ,i do now4 ,mary6 ,mary6 ,my little girl1 how glad ,i am we came6 ,they walked along in silence after that4 ,but when they reached home1 her uncle went in straight to the drawing-room1 and kissed his wife affectionately4 ,my dear1 he said1 ,i'm glad ,i went1 and so is ,mary4 ,we have learned what is worth the whole world4 ,thank ,god for it4 ,thus ,pollie began her new life1 and she had reason to thank her uncle many times for linking her so kindly with himself in the change of which he spoke4 ,but for that she sometimes felt as if she never could have got through the next fortnight4 ,her aunt and cousins treated the whole matter as an absurd joke4 ,the obnoxious meetings were now over1 the young man who had conducted them had returned to his home before sailing 7he had said7 for a distant country1 and now all thoughts were centred on the picnic to which they were invited1 and1 except for an occasional sarcastic allusion to excitement and sensationalism1 the subject was dropped4 ,pollie was thus thrown back the more completely on the love and tenderness of her new-found ,saviour4 ,as she had no earthly helper1 she went away by herself and told ,him2 and thus waiting upon the ,lord her strength was renewed1 and she learned to find her rest and satisfaction in ,him1 as perhaps she never would have done in brighter hours4 ,illustration ,illustration ,,chapter ,v4 ,,the ,,picnic4 ,,the day of the picnic drew near at last1 and ,laura and ,clara could talk of nothing else4 ,pollie had a dress specially prepared for it1 and her cousins said at least she would be no disgrace to them1 which she considered high praise4 ,they1 however1 had so many secrets about the whole matter that ,pollie often wished herself at home1 in spite of the natural anticipation which such a day's pleasure was likely to create to one who had lived such a quiet life4 ,her cousins were constantly whispering about ,h4 ,f41 and openly talked of the numbers to be there1 the splendid arrangements made1 and the picturesqueness of the woods to which they were to drive4 ,shall you introduce me to ,h4 ,f48 asked ,pollie of ,clara1 as they were dressing on the eventful morning4 ,oh1 don't fuss6 exclaimed ,clara1 hurrying with her tight dress1 and despairing of being in time4 ,you just keep quiet1 and you'll see6 ,i do not suppose there will be any introducing4 ,i expect he will come and make ma's acquaintance soon1 for he is devoted to ,laura1 and ,i expect-- ,but there she broke off1 and then added hastily1 ,but don't fuss or stare1 there's a dear1 and you will see for yourself4 ,so they started1 and ,pollie's quiet eyes had plenty of time to note everything1 as her cousins took but little notice of her4 ,had it not been that she made acquaintance with a little lame girl1 she would have been utterly alone4 ,hand in hand they wandered among the lovely woods1 picking honeysuckle and wild roses1 while from afar they could see the groups of young people flitting hither and thither1 ,laura and ,clara in their bright pink dresses being conspicuous among the gay crowd4 ,by-and-by ,pollie missed ,laura from the rest1 and was wondering where she could be1 when two girls came strolling up and seated themselves on the blue bank of wild pansies1 where she and her little new friend were sitting4 ,they've gone up the hill to see the view1 remarked one of them4 ,i have not seen them at all1 said the other4 ,she looks sweetly pretty to-day1 said the first1 and ever since he has been staying here1 he's been devoted to her4 ,but then he always is to the last pretty face he comes across4 ,then he goes away and forgets4 ,at least that's what he has done where ,i live near ,exeter4 ,there are two or three girls whose hearts he has broken there-- ,i hope he will not treat ,laura-- ,oh1 please6 said ,pollie1 starting up4 ,i did not know you were talking of anyone ,i knew4 ,please1 ,i will go away4 ,she hurried from the spot with burning cheeks1 her little lame friend hobbling after her as quickly as she could4 ,did you ever see so many wild flowers8 she said1 when at length she caught her up4 ,yes1 said ,pollie absently4 ,are you very vexed8 asked the girl1 looking up at her4 ,i don't like you to be vexed4 ,rather1 said ,pollie1 but it is a thing ,i can't do anything in4 ,i did not mean to hear their secrets1 and now ,i do not know whether ,i ought to tell ,laura4 ,perhaps she knows1 suggested the girl4 ,pollie shook her head4 ,they've been carried away with the fun1 but ,i am afraid it isn't right to keep it all from their mother4 ,that's why ,i am vexed4 ,the lame girl put her hand into ,pollie's with comforting little pressure1 but her next words surprised her very much4 ,did you notice that it was ,i who sat by you on that ,thursday night8 ,that ,thursday night was to ,pollie truly a night to be much remembered4 ,there could be no other in her calendar4 ,she turned and looked into the lame girl's face4 ,were you8 she asked4 ,yes1 close to you4 ,i guessed what you felt by what ,i felt4 ,and when ,i saw your face coming out1 ,i knew you had 'come' as ,i had4 ,oh1 ,daisy6 ,i was just going to tell you about it when those girls came and sat down by us4 ,and ,i was just going to tell 'you1' said ,daisy smiling4 ,i thought--but ,i know so little--only when you looked worried just now ,i thought-- ,how delicately the words were spoken6 ,pollie knew by the flush on ,daisy's face that they were costing her a great deal4 ,you thought1 dear8 ,that it was so nice to carry our worries1 whatever they are1 to the ,lord ,jesus1 and ,he would see to them4 ,yes1 said ,pollie1 with a little sob1 ,i do4 ,i've had so many worries since that ,thursday2 and yet-- ,yet you would not go back1 would you8 ,that's just like me4 ,i do believe since that ,thursday ,i have minded more about my bad uncle than ,i did before1 but then ,i've been more comforted than ,i ever was before4 ,oh1 so have ,i6 ,and only this morning1 ,daisy went on softly1 when we got out of the brake1 your cousin would have stayed to help me out4 ,but he--that gentleman who was talking to her all the way--he said ',don't stop for that lame child2 she will be all day getting out6' ,oh6 said ,pollie sorrowfully4 ,how could he8 ,that is why ,i said ,i thought she knew4 ,she could not help knowing after that4 ,poor little ,daisy6 ,it did not matter4 ,that was just another time that my ,lord ,jesus comforted me4 ,i just told ,him that my heart was made heavy1 and somehow it was like the look at the brazen serpent again--,i mean when ,i spoke to ,jesus--,i was made whole4 ,isn't it wonderful8 ,thus the day passed away1 and to those two at any rate it was a happy day4 ,they kept near each other all the time1 and drove back in the evening in the same brake4 ,clara and ,laura arrived home very tired and strangely dull4 ,very little could be got out of them by their mother1 who expected to hear long histories of what they had done and whom they had seen4 ,but when ,pollie was undressing1 ,clara came in and shut the door4 ,mary1 she said in a low tone1 don't you let out a word to ma about ,h4 ,f4 ,i believe1 after all1 he's a dreadful flirt4 ,he's going away by the first train to-morrow morning1 and ,i do not believe we shall ever see him again4 ,i don't think he can be very good or kind1 said ,pollie gently2 for if it is the one ,i once saw with ,laura1 who gave that poor dog such a kick-- ,yes1 that was he4 ,he has wished us good-bye1 and it is all over ,i do believe2 for when ,i asked him if he were not going to fulfill his promise of calling on ma1 he said laughing1 ',i'll keep it ten years hence1 ,miss ,clara1 if ,i don't forget6' ,and then he jumped back into the brake and drove off4 ,does ,laura mind much8 asked ,pollie1 hesitating4 ,you don't know how much6 exclaimed ,clara4 ,he's been with her almost all day long for a month1 sometimes at one place and sometimes at another1 and if ma knew about it1 ,i don't know what she would say4 ,well it can't be helped1 ,i suppose2 and ,laura will have to get over it as best she can4 ,pollie had never seen ,clara so dispirited before4 ,she got up and put her arms round her lovingly4 ,i'm so sorry1 she whispered4 ,it's very kind of you to say so1 said ,clara1 wiping her eyes1 for ,i'm sure we have not deserved much pity1 we've been so horrid to you all this fortnight4 ,but if you'll not tell ma1 we will never cease to thank you4 ,she raised herself hastily as she heard a step outside4 ,i do not see that it is my business unless ,i am asked1 said ,pollie slowly1 but you'll be ever so much happier if you tell all yourselves4 ,do1 do1 ,clara6 ,but ,clara only shook her head4 ,i couldn't1 she murmured4 ,illustration ,illustration ,,chapter ,,vi4 ,,apollyon ,,meets ,,pollie4 ,,pollie',s return home had been postponed till the picnic was over4 ,now there remained nothing to do but to pack up4 ,she longed to wish her father's dear old friend good-bye1 but did not like to propose it4 ,her uncle however settled the matter by offering to drive her out there the last evening4 ,the old lady received them with open arms1 for ,mr4 ,brown had already called upon her and told her their good news1 and ,pollie never forgot the joy which they had as they sat together and talked of their ,saviour's love4 ,i've proved ,him for fifty years1 said ,miss ,loveday1 and have found ,him faithful4 ,they had not long to stay1 however1 and just as they were going1 the old lady said to ,pollie1 ,my brother is vicar of your village1 ,pollie4 ,do you know our niece1 ,mary1 who lives with him8 ,i have often seen her1 said ,pollie1 but ,i did not guess she was your niece6 ,here is a note to her to ask her to persuade your father to let you join her class4 ,you would like that1 ,pollie8 ,pollie's eyes glistened4 ,indeed ,i should1 she answered earnestly4 ,so it came to pass that before another week was out1 ,miss ,mary ,loveday1 the vicar's niece1 came up to the mill1 and made acquaintance with ,pollie1 and obtained permission for ,pollie to attend her class4 ,and there sprang up between them a strong attachment1 which bid fair to be lifelong4 ,thus1 ,pollie began her new life4 ,she had written to her father to tell him about that wonderful ,thursday1 and the first time he had the opportunity1 he invited her to drive to market with him4 ,so ,pollie1 he said1 when the horse was well on its way1 and they had left the village behind1 so you've come home a different girl6 ,yes1 father1 said ,pollie1 with her usual straightforward candour4 ,it's a solemn thing to take ,his name upon us1 said her father4 ,it needs watching as well as praying1 ,pollie6 ,pollie had not thought of that exactly4 ,how do you mean1 father8 ,why you see 'tis like this1 ,pollie1 said the miller1 we read a goodish bit about soldiers and armour and fighting and watching in the ,bible1 and many of us would as lief as not put on a sword and a helmet and a drum and march along to battle6 ,pollie laughed a soft little laugh at her father's quaint way1 in which he often lodged a thought in his children's hearts1 which would not have got in perhaps in a long sermon4 ,and if ,apollyon were to come to meet us1 we should be very brave with our drum1 and try to frighten him off1 or fetch him a cut with our sword1 and think to demolish him at a blow1 eh1 ,pollie8 ,i don't suppose the 'drum' would do much good1 she answered smiling4 ,no2 nor do ,i1 said her father1 smiling too4 ,but the fact is1 ,pollie1 ,apollyon doesn't come stalking along the road with fire coming out of his mouth6 ,and the battle isn't out of doors on a wide plain1 or even in a dark valley6 ,it's at home1 my child1 in the mill and in the school and in the market1 we have to face our foes4 ,they come to some of us the first thing in the morning with-- ',pollie1 mind you clear out all the ashes from the kitchen grate1' or ',pollie1 where's my hammer that you had last night8' ,pollie's head went down2 how true that sounded2 how like that very morning6 ,or the battle-field may come to some of us like this--it may come in thoughts of worry1 in cares for the future1 in fretting over the low price flour fetches--half a dozen things--all invisible foes1 but as bad as ,apollyon nevertheless4 ,or it may come to ,jim in his sister's voice like this3 ',jim6' 7sharp as a nettle sting7 ',jim6 ,you haven't washed your hands for breakfast6 ,jim6 ,you said you'd take that note to ,miss ,loveday1 and you haven't6' ,oh1 father6 said ,pollie in a low distressed tone4 ',tisn't that ,i want to grieve you1 my little girl1 continued her father kindly1 but ,i want you and myself to remember that ,satan is very strong and very watchful1 and we are very weak and very careless4 ,let us watch as well as pray1 ,pollie2 let us 'stand fast in the ,lord1 and in the power of ,his might4' ,i will try to remember1 said ,pollie humbly4 ,your greatest enemy is your not being willing to submit to your mother1 my child4 ,apollyon meets you every day there6 ,pollie knew that that was true1 and her father's words had been so tender that even her proud little spirit did not take offence4 ,it was hard work to settle in to the homely duties of the mill after her gay1 easy life at ,chichester1 but now she understood what it was to have strength renewed1 and when she went for it1 she received it from her ,lord and ,master4 ,so the months rolled on4 ,occasionally she heard from ,clara1 but her letters were not satisfactory4 ,they still kept their secret from their mother1 and nothing more had been heard of ,h4 ,f41 as ,clara still called ,laura's friend4 ,of ,laura she said very little1 but ,pollie gathered that she was restless and sorrowful4 ,she thought how such a secret would prey upon her own mind1 and did not wonder4 ,illustration ,illustration ,,chapter ,,vii4 ,,pollie',s ,,battle-,,field4 ,,you',,ll have to go down to the stream1 and bring up the biggest goose1 ,poll1 said her mother1 wringing up a towel very hard1 and throwing it in the basket4 ,i can't think why you have not done it an hour ago6 ,i was busy1 grumbled ,pollie4 ,you told me to wash the teacups1 and sweep the kitchen1 and make the beds1 and clean the step1 and peel the potatoes-- ,so ,i did1 said her mother vexedly2 and still there would have been plenty of time if you hadn't idled away half your morning4 ,i never did see any one so provoking in my life6 ,if there was one thing ,pollie hated to do1 it was catching and carrying the struggling1 cackling geese when her mother happened to sell any4 ,but even that unpleasant duty had not been the chief reason of her delay that morning4 ,her ,sunday-school teacher had offered a prize for the greatest number of texts found on a certain subject1 and she had been searching for them when she was upstairs making the rooms straight4 ,her conscience told her that she was not doing right1 but she had persuaded herself that it could not be wrong to be reading her ,bible4 ,she sauntered forth now very unwillingly1 and made her way over the stony path down to the brook4 ,her teacher would be pleased1 at any rate1 she thought1 even if her mother was not4 ,and her teacher was more important than mother4 ,miss ,loveday always spoke gently1 and never seemed to have any difficulties4 ,she couldn't have rooms to sweep1 or tiresome geese to catch4 ,pollie had a long chase1 and a hard struggle with the strong bird before she turned homewards4 ,and just as she was battling up the hill1 with the wind nearly blowing her down1 and the geese making a hubbub around her1 who should cross her path but ,miss ,loveday herself1 walking slowly along4 ,why1 ,pollie6 she said4 ,pollie held on to her charge and blushed crimson1 thinking of her late thoughts4 ,i've done the texts1 ma'am1 she said1 after a moment4 ,already8 ,polly hung her head1 while ,miss ,loveday added1 ,i hope it was not instead of some duty1 little ,pollie4 ,girls at home haven't much time in the morning1 and this is only ,monday6 ,to please ,jesus1 the 'right' thing must come before the pleasant thing4 ,with a gentle smile she passed on1 and ,pollie pushed up the hill1 and at length stood before her mother1 still holding on to her burden4 ,the geese nearly tore me in pieces1 she said ungraciously4 ,i wish ,james would have caught it before he let them out this morning2 he might just as well6 ,what have you been doing upstairs1 ,pollie8 was her mother's greeting1 as she took the heavy bird from her4 ,no pity for the wind1 no sympathy for her hard struggle and hot climb1 no thanks for her work1 only sharp blame implied in the tone of her mother's inquiry6 ,i was making the beds1 mother4 ,you couldn't take an hour over two beds1 and that's how long you were6 ,polly was silent4 ,she did not wish to explain1 and was only anxious to get out of the way before any more questions should be asked4 ,where shall ,i put the goose1 mother8 ,in the coop2 your father's going to kill it when he comes home to dinner4 ,what was it you did while you were upstairs8 ,something for ,miss ,loveday4 ,instead of your work8 ,then you will not go to class next ,sunday4 ,sharp and unalterable came the blow4 ,pollie knew that she had lost her chance4 ,full of passion1 she slowly took the goose from her mother1 and walked out to the empty hen-coop4 ,then she went back again1 and began to clean the knives for dinner with a black frown on her face4 ,miss ,loveday never had such things as this to bear6 ,such hard1 hard things6 ,she had all things smooth in her life1 she was sure6 ,when she thought of ,sunday1 she felt as if she could not bear it4 ,the knives flew along the board1 and the brickdust flew about the floor1 and still ,pollie felt stunned with disappointment and anger4 ,what's up8 said her father's voice in the doorway4 ,only ,poll's doing things for her class1 and neglecting her home1 said her mother's voice from the kitchen4 ,i'm sorry for that1 said her father gravely1 because ,pollie will have to let go the class1 if so4 ,that's what ,i told her1 said her mother4 ,pollie was going to speak1 but her passion sealed her lips4 ,she only went on cleaning faster than ever4 ,her mother went upstairs for a clean apron1 and ,pollie found herself alone with her father1 who was standing warming his hands at the fire4 ,mother's so hard on me1 father1 she said bitterly1 from her position at the knife-board4 ,there was no answer1 and the girl came to the doorway4 ,it is cruel to keep me away from the class1 when ,i didn't mean to do any harm4 ,your mother won't do anything cruel1 answered her father4 ,if you haven't done wrong1 she'll not punish you4 ,if you have1 it's best to find it out1 ,pollie1 and not be let go on wrong4 ,it can't be wrong to search for texts6 ,i don't know that6 ,there's many a one that does a lot of ,god's 'work1' and forgets to do ,his 'will4' ,her mother came back at the moment1 and ,pollie retreated from the doorway and fetched the knives1 wiping them carefully and setting them round table1 that her father1 at any rate1 might see no fault in her performance of that duty4 ,she did not glance towards her mother1 and sat in silence for the rest of the dinner4 ,when it was over1 she cleared the things into the scullery1 and1 as was her habit1 she shut the door and began to wash the dishes4 ,her mother's voice rose and fell for a few minutes in the kitchen1 and then she heard her father go out1 and all was still4 ,pollie worked away perhaps all the faster that her spirit was so high1 and soon all was done1 and she stood still1 undecided as to what she should employ herself upon for the rest of the afternoon4 ,she would have gone up to her texts1 but this involved passing through the kitchen1 and she did not care to face her mother4 ,besides1 what was the use of doing them if she might not go to the class8 ,this thought made her almost frantic4 ,she had promised ,miss ,loveday1 yes1 promised2 what could she do now8 ,slowly her hand was put out towards the kitchen door1 and softly she turned the knob1 uncertain what she should say to her mother when she got there1 but1 at any rate1 very certain that she should not ask her forgiveness4 ,the kitchen stood empty and bare4 ,no mother1 only a clean-swept hearth and her mother's workbasket closed and orderly4 ,pollie was too astonished to know what to do4 ,generally at this time her mother sat there mending those everlasting stockings2 and if she were going out1 every one knew it4 ,pollie did not like to follow her mother upstairs1 after her temper at dinner1 so she looked round for occupation1 and seeing none that suited her1 she drew forth her knitting from the cupboard and tried to amuse herself with that4 ,she was even glad to hear her brother's step coming up the path1 and to know that she would not be alone any longer4 ,where's mother8 asked ,james on entering4 ,i don't know4 ,come here1 ,jim1 and hold something for me4 ,what's that8 ,my wool4 ,i've been waiting to get this tangle out this half-hour4 ,jim did as he was asked1 but added1 ,i expect mother's took sick6 ,what8 asked ,pollie1 putting down the skein4 ,took sick4 ,she said her heart was bad before ,i went out after dinner4 ,pollie looked pale and miserable4 ,i wish you'd go up and see after her1 ,jim1 she said presently4 ,why don't you8 ,because ,i'd rather you did4 ,haven't you seen to her all the afternoon8 asked ,james1 rather severely1 as he put the wool down4 ,pollie shook her head4 ,she opened the staircase door for him in silence1 and then came back to the fire4 ,how long his steps seemed going up1 and then how long before they were heard coming down again6 ,she's bad1 ,poll1 he announced abruptly1 and she don't want anything1 and you may go out if you like4 ,illustration ,illustration ,,chapter ,,viii4 ,,hard ,,things4 ,,to go out was exactly what ,pollie longed for1 but to be sent off1 and not to be wanted1 was a different thing4 ,she put on her hat and hurried out of the house1 dashing down the hill at hot speed1 nor even stopped until she stood breathless outside her dear ,miss ,loveday's gate1 where1 bending over her flowers1 her teacher stood all unconscious of her presence4 ,when she looked up1 she saw something was wrong4 ,oh1 ,miss ,loveday1 may ,i come in8 pleaded ,pollie4 ,miss ,loveday led the way into the back garden1 and in a shady corner1 where they were quite alone1 ,pollie poured out her tale of woe1 of how angry she had been and was1 of how hard her mother had seemed1 and now that her mother was sick and did not want her to nurse her4 ,miss ,loveday listened very patiently and gently till it was all out4 ,poor little girlie1 ,jesus is sorry for you1 was almost all she said4 ,pollie was very hard still1 her grievances stood out large and bitter1 and she thought she was quite right to be angry4 ,and then ,miss ,loveday drew her to her side1 and smoothing the wind-blown hair with her hand she said softly-- ,pollie dear1 the hardest thing to bear in life is getting ever so little away from ,jesus4 ,sometimes it is a very small thing that comes between us and ,him1 and then it grows very quickly into a big thing6 ,let us go back to ,him1 and ask ,him to forgive us and make us good4 ,pollie hung her head4 ,you don't have hard things1 ,miss ,loveday1 ,i expect1 she murmured4 ,do ,i not1 dearie8 ,did you think that the girl who belongs to the ,lord ,jesus1 called ,pollie ,brown1 is the only girl who has hard things to bear8 ,i don't see that anyone else can be so tiresome as ,i am1 nor need so much scolding1 nor have mother so cross6 ,those are your trials just now1 ,pollie1 but ,i have had hard things too--if you only knew4 ,pollie did not know enough of the world to understand that each heart knows its own bitterness4 ,that trials which seem trifles to one looking on may be heavy burdens to the weak strength which has to bear them4 ,but ,miss ,loveday understood1 and that was why she could give out such true sympathy4 ,dear ,miss ,loveday--but you do not have anyone telling you to do what you do not like1 do you8 ,i have even had that1 in a harder way than you can understand4 ,would it help you to tell you1 ,pollie8 ,please1 dear ,miss ,loveday1 she answered1 still dwelling on her own grievance1 and thinking nobody else's could be as great4 ,pollie1 did you ever hear of any one having some one she loved more than all the world1 taken away without a moment's warning1 and told never1 never to come back8 ,pollie looked up questioningly1 but when her eyes met ,miss ,loveday's1 she buried her head in her lap4 ,and then ,i found out that ,i had loved him more than ,jesus6 ,some of us love ourselves more than ,jesus1 and some of us-- ,i'll go home now and tell mother ,i'm sorry1 whispered ,pollie4 ,oh1 ,miss ,loveday1 ,i wish ,i could comfort you6 ,you have1 dearie4 ,let us both take heart4 ,he is such a precious ,saviour6 ,pollie knew her time must be nearly gone4 ,pressing a passionate kiss on her teacher's hand1 she hurried homewards1 the mill standing out dark and gaunt against the sunset sky4 ,she had promised ,miss ,loveday to beg her mother's pardon for her temper at dinner1 but though her heart was softened by the remembrance of a grief which was infinitely greater than her own1 yet a hard task was in front of her4 ,and the nearer she got to home1 and the steeper the hill got1 the harder became the struggle to confess herself in the wrong4 ,from intending to do it the moment she got in1 she began to find reasons why it would not be a suitable time2 and then came reasons for putting it off till to-morrow or next week1 until the thought presented itself that really after all there was very little reason to do it at all1 only she had promised ,miss ,loveday4 ,at length1 she got to the mill door1 and by this time she was too out of breath to say anything4 ,james was sitting at the tea-table1 and looked round as she entered4 ,father's up with mother1 and you are to put those clothes to soak after tea1 and then mother wants you to mend those stockings4 ,i shall take mother's tea up1 said ,pollie1 feeling her heart die within her4 ,never before had she received messages like that through her little brother2 never before had she been anything but head and chief to do anything her mother wanted6 ,was her mother so angry with her that she would not even see her8 ,father has taken that up1 pursued ,james1 and so we can begin4 ,i thought you would be home to get the tea1 ,pollie4 ,i was busy with ,miss ,loveday4 ,you always are busy with ,miss ,loveday now2 you think about nothing but her6 ,i'm sure ,i don't6 ,ever since you began going to her class1 you've taken to being fine in your ways1 and disagreeable at home4 ,that ,i'm sure is wrong6 exclaimed ,pollie hotly4 ,what fine ways have ,i taken up1 ,i should like to know8 ,why1 you brush your hair ever so many times a day1 and wash your hands1 too2 and you are always wanting me to do the same4 ,pollie tried to laugh1 but the conversation was too much in earnest1 and she went on-- ,well--there's no harm in that1 ,i should hope4 ,jim thought there was1 but he pursued-- ,then you are cross to mother1 and are always thinking of what you can do for ,miss ,loveday2 in fact1 you think of her before mother6 ,pollie crimsoned1 for she felt that the indictment was true4 ,well1 come to tea1 she said abruptly4 ,she sat down at the table and filled the two cups1 the only two which were there4 ,was father up with mother then1 and was she so sick as not to be able to be left8 ,pollie felt utterly miserable4 ,she longed for her father to come downstairs2 she longed for ,james to go to bed2 she longed for anything which should give her relief from her heartache4 ,and all the while the relief was close to her1 had she but turned to it6 ,he is such a precious ,saviour1 ,miss ,loveday had told her1 from the depths of such a sorrowful heart as ,pollie could not even dream of4 ,and yet the girl nursed her own grievance1 and forgot to look to ,him in whom is comfort and relief for every care1 be it large or small4 ,what a long time it seemed before ,james had finished his lessons6 ,pollie washed the teacups1 and put the washing in to soak2 she soaped all the clothes in the way her mother liked1 and did her work with a will1 so that long before she wished it1 there was nothing left to do4 ,while she was busy in the scullery1 her father came down the little staircase into the kitchen1 and went out to do something about the mill1 and she did not hear him come in again1 for the splashing water drowned all other sounds4 ,at last1 too uneasy to bear it any longer1 she took off her shoes1 and passing through the kitchen1 she ascended the few steps to her mother's room1 and stood trembling outside her door1 but she could not pluck up her courage to enter4 ,all was still1 except that she thought she could hear the occasional turning of the leaves of a book4 ,so she crept down again4 ,surely she had not deserved such punishment at this6 ,jim1 why won't mother let me go and wait on her8 she asked1 as she entered the kitchen4 ,i don't know1 unless it's your black face1 said ,jim1 with a very superior feeling of having his chance now to pay off a few old scores4 ,black face8 asked ,pollie1 glancing in the little glass which hung by the window1 ,i don't see-- ,of course you don't6 ,but ,i did1 at dinner1 and so did mother4 ,when people's hearts are bad1 they don't want black faces about 'em4 ,i heard mother say so6 ,pollie crimsoned1 first with shame and then with anger4 ,she clenched her hands together with a pressure which positively hurt her4 ,and then1 after a moment's bitter struggle1 she proudly took her candle and went to her little room next to the kitchen where she could be alone1 to see no one again that night1 if she were wanted so little as that4 ,suddenly a thought struck her4 ,if her mother would not see her1 she would write her a letter4 ,that would be a great deal easier than saying it1 and it would do just as well4 ,she hurriedly seized a piece of paper1 and tossed off a few words4 ,then1 having by this given some vent to her feelings1 she sat down dejectedly as before1 listening for an opportunity to ask her father to carry the note for her4 ,she was sure he would do that6 ,and then she looked out on the quiet moonlight1 and as she did so1 she saw the spire of the church glittering in the soft beams1 and she could picture ,miss ,loveday's eyes resting on the same sight1 and could even hear again her soft thrilling tones1 ,he is such a precious ,saviour4 ,she thought it was all very well for a girl like the ,vicar's niece to be able to get on4 ,pollie thought of her own cousins at ,chichester1 and even wished herself back with them1 and in her discontent even began to envy them4 ,she liked smooth things2 and now1 just as she had come home with the new-found joy of her new-found ,saviour1 to have every day such hard things to face seemed to her inexplicable4 ,she suddenly thought of what her father had said about ,apollyon meeting her in her-every day life1 but she put the thought away with a shudder4 ,no1 ,pollie's heart was hard yet4 ,she only looked at the moon1 and thought of her friend down in the valley1 but as yet she refused to hear the voice of her best ,friend1 ,one who sticketh closer than a brother1 who would surely have aided her if she had turned to ,him4 ,the old-fashioned clock which stood in the kitchen struck the hours one after another1 and the candle burned down to half its size4 ,so ,pollie put it out and got into bed by the moonlight4 ,after some time1 she heard ,james go up to his little cupboard of a room over hers2 she heard her father go round with his swinging lantern to shut up the mill for the night4 ,she heard him rake open the fire1 and then clink a cup and saucer2 she heard him stir something for ever so long1 and then go up to her mother with the cup and saucer4 ,she heard him talking in a low tone1 and then he came down again and shut the kitchen door1 and all was still4 ,what could have happened8 ,surely that was ten o'clock striking1 and her hard-working father was invariably in bed by that time4 ,the sense of desolation grew unbearable4 ,several times she had determined to speak to her father1 but now she could stand it no longer4 ,hastily lighting her candle1 and taking her letter in her hand1 she stepped noiselessly to the door opening into the kitchen1 and peeped into the dim fire-lighted room with beating heart4 ,there sat her father1 fast asleep1 with his arm resting on the large ,bible4 ,pollie did not know what to do4 ,all at once1 she felt ashamed of that hasty1 passionate apology which she had written4 ,would her father think it worth taking to her mother8 ,was it worth taking8 ,she hurriedly put it on the glowing embers1 and then stood waiting and trembling till her father should stir4 ,at length the candle flickered in its socket1 and he woke with a start to find his little daughter crouching by the fire wrapped in a big shawl4 ,why1 ,pollie1 he said1 ,i thought you were in bed4 ,so ,i was1 father1 but ,i could not sleep4 ,how is mother now8 ,she's a bit easier1 ,i hope4 ,why are you sitting up then1 father8 ,i was waiting to give her her medicine at eleven o'clock4 ,i was afraid if ,i got to bed1 ,i might oversleep myself4 ,father1 why did not mother want me to wait on her8 asked ,pollie1 hesitating1 while her cheeks burned4 ,mother was too poorly to be worried1 ,pollie4 ,i've been very anxious about her4 ,i saw that you hadn't come round to be a right down good girl1 and so thought you'd better keep out of her room4 ,pollie was silent4 ,was she a right down good girl now8 ,she hardly knew4 ,go to bed now1 my dear1 and ask ,god to help you4 ,he can soften hard hearts when we can't ourselves4 ,pollie hurriedly kissed him1 and went back to her room4 ,she thought she would kneel down and do as her father advised1 but how cold she was1 and of how little use it could be to be sorry if she might not go to her mother even if she were4 ,so she crept into bed1 sad at heart1 and only longed for the morning1 when the bright sunshine should perhaps help to banish the clouds of vexation which hovered over her spirit4 ,illustration ,illustration ,,chapter ,,ix4 ,,submission4 ,,the morning sun streamed into ,pollie's room1 and her eyes opened to it with a sense of relief4 ,but soon came back the dull ache of yesterday's wrong feelings1 and she wondered if to-day could possibly be as unhappy as that had been4 ,she heard her father moving about in the kitchen1 and in another moment1 he put his head in at the door4 ,get up now1 ,pollie1 and light the fire1 while ,i go to see to the mill4 ,your mother's a bit better1 ,i hope1 to-day4 ,he went1 and ,pollie hastened to dress herself4 ,she lighted the fire1 filled the kettle at the well1 and then set the breakfast2 after which she called ,james1 and then when her father came in1 she asked if she might take up her mother's breakfast4 ,her father hesitated1 glanced at her intently1 and then gave her permission4 ,so ,pollie poured out the tea1 and slowly began to mount the stairs4 ,here was her chance1 but though she had assured herself last night that she had had none1 when it came she was not ready to take it4 ,she entered her mother's room1 and crept across to her side4 ,i am sorry you are ill1 mother1 she said gently4 ,i hope you feel better now4 ,her mother looked pale and quiet1 but answered pretty cheerfully that she did feel better1 and should get up after breakfast4 ,and ,pollie1 having deposited the little tray1 had nothing further to do1 and came down again4 ,yes1 she had missed her chance6 ,it would be infinitely harder to meet her mother next time1 and have to say it then4 ,how could she have been so stupid1 she thought1 not to have done it when she might8 ,you can go down to the village after breakfast with those eggs1 remarked her father1 as they sat together4 ,there's more than we can eat1 and it's a pity to let them spoil4 ,the first thing8 asked ,pollie1 with beating heart4 ,then she should perhaps see ,miss ,loveday1 and have to tell her that she had broken her promise4 ,yes1 directly2 because if your ,uncle ,brown is going to sell them1 he will want them early4 ,so she started at once with her basket of rich brown and white treasures1 and soon her quick steps brought her to the bottom of the hill1 and in front of the church where her ,uncle ,brown's shop stood4 ,she handed them across the counter with only the number named1 and then running out of the shop1 looked up the street to the vicarage1 where her darling ,miss ,loveday lived4 ,yes1 there she was1 standing at the gate waiting for the postman1 and ,pollie came quite close before the quiet eyes turned in her direction4 ,oh1 ,miss ,loveday6 she exclaimed4 ,i've never done what ,i promised6 ,i said ,i would tell mother1 and ,i haven't4 ,miss ,loveday looked down in her face inquiringly4 ,i couldn't2 ,i did not see her last night1 and then this morning ,i did not feel as if ,i could4 ,miss ,loveday1 why is it so hard to do things8 ,then ,i am afraid1 ,pollie dear1 you did not ask the ,lord ,jesus to do for you what you were not willing to do yourself8 ,pollie hung her head4 ,i was so vexed ,i did not care to-- ,poor little girlie1 said her teacher1 with tender sympathy1 ,i know how hard it must be4 ,i have gone through it myself lately1 so ,i know4 ,but oh1 ,pollie1 ,i know one thing too1 and that is1 that the ,lord works in us by ,his ,spirit to do the things to please ,him1 which otherwise we could not do4 ,with ,god 'nothing' is impossible4 ,how earnestly she gazed down the road6 ,and what a colour flashed into her face as the postman came in view1 and trudged into one cottage garden after another4 ,pollie stood spell-bound1 watching him too4 ,would he pause at ,miss ,loveday's side1 and hand her a precious missive8 ,why had her pale cheeks turned to deep crimson8 ,was the letter she was expecting of such great importance8 ,no6 ,he came up quickly to where they stood1 and with a smiling ,none for you1 miss1 passed on4 ,the crimson cheeks were pale now4 ,miss ,loveday seemed as if all life and hope had gone out of her face4 ,come into the garden1 ,pollie1 said her teacher slowly4 ,perhaps she craved human sympathy2 perhaps she thought that ,pollie's own struggling little experience would help her to understand better than anyone at the parsonage4 ,they walked quickly through the garden1 and ,miss ,loveday led the way down to the stream which flowed so quietly at the bottom of the hill2 nor did she stop till they stood close to the water's edge4 ,pollie1 she said1 catching her breath1 ,i have need to remember what ,i have said to you6 ,did you want a letter so much1 dear ,miss ,loveday8 ,oh1 ,pollie6 ,miss ,loveday sat down on a rock and hid her face4 ,perhaps it will come another day1 comforted ,pollie4 ,i do not think it can4 ,he will have sailed by this time1 she whispered4 ,pollie did not know what to answer1 for she did not know all that had come and gone4 ,she laid her little trembling hand on her teacher's knee1 and knelt down by her side in silent sympathy4 ,i will tell you1 ,pollie1 because--oh1 because ,i'm so very1 very miserable--because ,i want to do right1 and it is so hard6 ,you know ,i live with my uncle and aunt8 ,my father left me to their care1 to take their advice1 to do exactly as they bid me4 ,he made me promise that ,i would obey them as if they were my own parents4 ,pollie pressed her hand softly2 she did not dare to interrupt by a word4 ,then ,i went on a visit to ,devonshire1 and while ,i was there ,i met someone who--who wanted me to go out to ,china with him1 to make his home happy there4 ,pollie shrank--,miss ,loveday going away6 ,but how selfish of her to think of herself6 ,it was evident ,miss ,loveday wanted to go1 and that she thought it would make her happy4 ,when ,i came back from ,devonshire ,i told my uncle and aunt1 and they said they would make inquiries about--my friend--,harry ,fulbert4 ,when the answer came to their letter1 ,i thought my heart would break4 ,my uncle forbade me to speak to him again4 ,i was to write to him once and say so1 and that was all4 ,oh6 said ,polka with filling eyes4 ,how dreadful6 ,did you have to8 ,for days and days ,i could not--,i would not4 ,i felt sure my own father and mother would not have done such a thing1 and my heart was all in a tumult1 and ,i felt dreadfully angry that my uncle and aunt could be so cruel4 ,i would not speak to them about it1 ,i felt so bad4 ,and so it went on for nearly a week4 ,at last came ,sunday1 when we had those words in our lesson 7do you remember them1 ,pollie873 ',if ye do not forgive1 neither will your ,father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses'2 and ,i thought how could ,i prepare to give you girls that lesson1 if ,i could not say the words from my heart myself8 ,oh1 ,pollie1 it was dreadful4 ,at last ,i thought1 as ,i have told you1 that what ,i could not do of myself ,god could enable me to do1 and ,i knelt down and asked ,him to help me to submit to ,his will1 and to feel rightly towards my uncle and aunt4 ,then1 ,pollie1 ,i went down to them1 and ,i told them how wrong ,i had been to be so angry2 and then ,i asked them why it was ,i might not see ,harry1 and begged them to let me do so4 ,then1 ,pollie1 they told me that they had heard1 on authority which they could not question1 that ,harry was not good and steady1 and told me that ,i must have nothing to do with him4 ,i cannot tell you all1 but at last ,i had to let him go2 they would not give way1 and ,i dare not disobey2 and that is the end of it6 ,pollie listened intently1 her eyes gazing in the sad ones which1 like a dumb suffering animal's1 sought her sympathy4 ,at last she said shyly3 ',did' ,god help you to do ,his will8 ,there was an instant's breathless pause4 ,then ,miss ,loveday's head sank lower1 and she said brokenly1 ,there was nothing else to do2 ,i dare not disobey4 ,then ,i suppose it must have been1 added ,pollie reverently4 ,and if it was ,his will--you think ,i ought to be glad to do it1 ,pollie8 ,pollie was sobbing now4 ,miss ,loveday opened her arms1 and they cried together for ever so long4 ,at last1 ,miss ,loveday wiped away her tears1 and began to prepare herself to go back to the house4 ,i'll never forget--never1 said ,pollie1 clinging to her2 and ,i'll pray every day that ,god will let him come back6 ,there 'must' be some mistake1 ,pollie1 or ,i ought not to wish it1 of course4 ,but ,i am sure--so very sure--that he loves my ,saviour1 and wishes to serve ,him4 ,i will pray1 whispered ,pollie brokenly1 and then she sped home1 her anger all gone1 nothing but love left in her heart which had been so hard4 ,oh1 mother6 was all she could say when she found her sitting in the kitchen4 ,and then she found kisses of forgiveness pressed on her face1 and arms of forgiveness clasping her round4 ,illustration ,illustration ,,chapter ,x4 ,,telling ,,father4 ,,that night1 ,pollie's mother went to bed early1 and after her father had finished his work1 he came in and settled down by the fire4 ,how different ,pollie felt now that she was what her father called a right down good girl4 ,jim was upstairs reading to their mother1 so she took her knitting and sat thinking of ,miss ,loveday4 ,suddenly she looked up4 ,father6 she exclaimed4 ,well8 he asked4 ,father6 ,isn't it ,devonshire where grandmother lives8 ,why surely6 said father1 smiling4 ,what's made you think of that8 ,i was wondering who you knew there4 ,why do you ask8 ,father-- ,pollie paused4 ,i don't want to tell anything ,i ought not1 but ,i have somebody's secret that makes me very sad1 and ,i wanted to know if you knew somebody there very particularly4 ,but ,i can trust you1 father4 ,you may1 my dear2 and if ,i can do anybody any good1 you can tell me4 ,do you know anybody of the name of ,harry ,fulbert1 father8 ,devonshire's a large place1 but ,i do happen to know some one of that name there too4 ,do you1 father8 asked ,pollie1 with her heart beating fast4 ,and the funny thing is ,i know two of 'em1 ,pollie1 as far asunder as the poles though they are4 ,two of them6 ,how8 ,first cousins of the same name4 ,a stupid thing1 as ,i take it1 to name 'em alike1 but they do tell that neither of the sisters knew what the other was doing till they were named1 and then 'twas no use cryin' over spilt milk6 ,one of 'em is as good as gold1 and the other1 sad to say1 is not worth a brass farthin'6 ,where does the good one live1 father8 asked ,pollie1 almost breathlessly4 ,his 'mother' lives at ,exeter4 ,he comes home to see her now and again1 but ,i believe he lives in foreign parts somewhere4 ,and the bad one1 father8 ,pollie's voice was almost faint with anxiety4 ,which was the one who was a friend to her dear ,miss ,loveday8 ,the other knocks about everywhere4 ,he has plenty of money1 and travels a great deal1 but ,i would be sorry for any one ',i' loved to have much to do with him4 ,why do you ask me1 ,pollie8 ,father1 ,i hope--oh1 ,i hope ,i am not wrong to tell you1 but could you find out for me8 ,it is ,miss ,loveday1 father2 and he has gone out to ,china to-day1 and ,miss ,loveday is so sad because--4 ,and then ,pollie told her father as much as she knew herself1 and begged him to help her find out all about it4 ,i told her ,i would pray1 and ,i have4 ,but ,i never guessed the answer might come so soon1 nor that perhaps ,i might bring it to ,miss ,loveday4 ,oh1 father1 do you think ,god will let me8 ,that ,i can't tell1 my dear1 but this ,i do know1 it says1 ',commit thy way unto the ,lord1 trust also in ,him1 and ,he will bring it to pass4' ,pollie could hardly sleep that night for thinking of what she ought to do about ,miss ,loveday4 ,her father had advised her to commit her way unto the ,lord1 and she did1 but what was the next step8 ,dare she go to the vicar and ask him if there were some mistake8 ,would he tell her she was an impertinent girl8 ,if it were right to go1 she would dare even that4 ,but was it right8 ,what if ,miss ,loveday's friend should not turn out to be the true gold8 ,so she tossed till morning1 and no light came4 ,she got up early and busied herself in her duties at the mill1 but still no light came4 ,her mother was not very well1 and ,pollie had all the cooking to do1 and the bread to make4 ,her father was off early to the market with his sacks of flour1 and would not be in till afternoon4 ,she thought and thought1 but could come to no decision4 ,at last1 just as she had washed up the dinner-plates1 and was going up to fetch her mother to the tidy kitchen1 a thought came which comforted her3 ',trust also in ,him2 and ,he will bring it to pass6' ,i've been worrying and not trusting1 she said to herself4 ,and when she had placed her mother comfortably1 and brought her workbasket1 she went into her little room and knelt down in silence by the bedside4 ,then she took her knitting1 and sat down on the doorstep to watch for her father4 ,before long1 she saw a girl making her way up the steep hill1 and as she came nearer1 she found it was one of the maids from the vicarage4 ,her heart beat fast1 and she jumped up and stood waiting1 hardly liking to run and meet her2 and yet-- ,pollie6 said the maid eagerly4 ,my ,miss ,mary is very poorly1 and she wants to see you1 and ,i was coming all the morning1 but ,i was too busy4 ,can you run down to see her now8 ,so1 in less than half an hour1 ,pollie stood at her bedside1 finding it difficult to repress her eagerness4 ,miss ,loveday put out her hand and drew her down to kiss her1 and began at once-- ,pollie1 ,i wanted to tell you--,yesterday ,i thought it was harder than ,i could bear4 ,i felt forsaken1 as if ,i never could get over it4 ,but to-day-- ,to-day8 echoed ,pollie1 with her heart in her eyes4 ,has it come right8 ,oh1 ,miss ,loveday6 ,right so far as this1 answered her teacher gently1 that ,i have trusted it all to my ,lord1 and left it with ,him to do as ,he likes4 ,pollie's lips parted to speak1 but the heavenly look in ,miss ,loveday's face stopped her4 ,she knelt down by the bed1 and covered her friend's little white hand with kisses4 ,dear ,miss ,loveday1 ,i may pray that it may all come right1 mayn't ,i8 ,oh1 yes1 dear but--indeed ,i want to do ,his will--not mine4 ,pollie was silent4 ,how could she break her news8 ,and yet all the way down the hill1 she had been sure that it would be right for her to tell ,miss ,loveday herself all about it4 ,father knows ,devonshire1 she said very softly2 he knows people there4 ,does he1 dear8 ,why do you tell me that8 asked ,miss ,loveday1 looking at her4 ,father said he knew two people called that name4 ,i thought you would not mind1 because father is perfectly safe1 and he was so sorry4 ,and then ,pollie told her all she had heard1 and ,miss ,loveday's pale face brightened into a flush of hope4 ,i know he's the golden gold6 she whispered4 ,and ,god has sent you1 ,pollie1 to show my uncle that there is some mistake4 ,oh1 ,i am so glad that ,i wanted ,god's will better than my own1 for ,he gives abundantly1 ,pollie6 ,illustration ,illustration ,,chapter ,,xi4 ,,hope4 ,,but though the first thought had been that the ,harry ,fulbert she knew was golden gold1 the second came with terrible desolation4 ,too late6 ,it was too late now6 ,that letter1 so hard to write1 had gone on its way1 and ere this ,harry would have started for ,china1 with his hopes crushed and his heart sore4 ,miss ,loveday tried to recall what she had said as she had sat that evening1 three days ago1 doing her uncle's bidding4 ,if ,i were to disobey those whom my father told me to obey1 ,i should never have a happy moment1 nor could ,i look for ,god's blessing2 and what would life be without ,god's blessing1 ,harry8 she had said4 ,she could hardly remember the words2 it seemed months ago1 instead of days4 ,but at any rate1 she was sure that they had not conveyed one word of hope6 ,hope6 ,as she lay on her bed with these thoughts chasing each other through her mind1 it seemed as if there were some soothing balm being applied to her aching wounds4 ,hope thou in ,god6 ,yes1 she had6 ,she had hoped in ,god when things had been at their very darkest1 when no ray of light had come1 or seemed as if it could come2 and now she would praise ,him1 who would not allow ,his child to be tempted above that she was able to bear4 ,pollie had sat very still2 she had waited till the closed eyes should open1 and the contracted forehead grow smooth1 like her own dear ,miss ,loveday4 ,pollie1 said her teacher gently1 will you go down now and tell my uncle what you have found out for me8 ,pollie crimsoned1 but rose to her feet instantly4 ,if there were one person in the world she was afraid of1 it was the vicar4 ,am ,i asking too much8 said ,miss ,loveday4 ,no1 no2 ,i will do it1 exclaimed ,pollie4 ,but where shall ,i find him1 and what-- ,her hand was already on the door4 ,he will be coming in to tea very soon2 go down and wait for him in the study4 ,ask one of the maids to take you there4 ,i would rather my uncle heard it from you1 ,pollie6 ,with one look at the dear face she loved so well1 ,pollie1 with beating heart1 sped on her errand4 ,she reached the hall and looked around4 ,there were the pretty ferns and palms1 making the hall look like fairyland2 the stained glass doors1 the drooping curtains1 the carpeted floor1 all joined in making ,pollie feel strange and shy4 ,where were the servants8 ,she could hear a murmur of voices and the sound of teacups1 but how could she dare to pass through one of those closed doors8 ,at length a bell sounded4 ,the fact was1 ,miss ,loveday had guessed her plight1 and had rung for her maid so that she might insure ,pollie's safe conduct to the study4 ,suddenly one of the glass doors was pushed open1 and the servant who had fetched her from the mill came forward4 ,why1 ,pollie1 she said1 can't you find your way out8 ,then ,pollie1 with many blushes1 explained that she had a message to the vicar1 and was forthwith shewn into the study to wait his arrival4 ,the maid fidgeted round the room1 looking at ,pollie several times uncertainly1 which increased ,pollie's discomfort tenfold4 ,she looked up in her face enquiringly1 waiting for her to speak4 ,at last she said1 ,hadn't you better come and sit in the kitchen till master comes in8 ,i don't mind1 answered ,pollie1 only ,miss ,loveday said ,i was to go to the study-- ,master is very particular1 and perhaps he won't like to find anyone here1 objected the maid1 who1 it must be confessed1 was somewhat jealous of ,miss ,loveday's evident partiality for her pupil at the ,mill4 ,pollie felt very uncomfortable1 and though she had a dim perception of the state of the case1 she was so disconcerted that she would fain have run home to escape from her difficulties4 ,but then1 what would become of her important errand8 ,at length she said bravely1 ,if you don't think he'll like it1 ,i'll go up and ask ,miss ,loveday6 ,shall ,i8 ,oh no1 said the maid carelessly2 ,i daresay it doesn't matter4 ,stay where you are4 ,she went back to the kitchen to her tea1 and ,pollie was left alone4 ,she waited in the darkening study till her heart was faint within her4 ,she had had time to grow hot and cold three or four times over before the vicar came4 ,but at last1 a thought quieted her1 and1 like ,hannah of old1 her countenance was no more sad4 ,if ,god has this in charge1 why am ,i so worried and fearful8 was the thought4 ,and so when the vicar really did come1 with his grave1 dignified presence1 ,pollie told her story as sweetly and clearly as her friend upstairs could have wished4 ,don't you think he 'may' be the true golden gold8 she asked1 looking up in the vicar's face as he bid her farewell4 ,i hope so1 my little girl1 he said heartily2 and it shall be my business to find that out at once4 ,but1 ,pollie-- ,yes1 sir4 ,you would not wish your dear ,miss ,mary to love any one who was not good8 ,oh no1 sir6 ,nor would she-- ,no1 no2 ,i am sure of that4 ,she and you may trust me to do the very best for her4 ,is she not ,god's child1 as well as my brother's8 ,he said the last words almost to himself1 and ,pollie1 hearing them1 went away comforted4 ,she ran homewards breathlessly4 ,what would her mother think of her absence8 ,she had left home that afternoon assuring her mother she should only run down to the ,vicarage and back again4 ,she had had no idea of being detained1 and was afraid her mother would be vexed with her4 ,just as she reached the corner of the village street1 she recognized her father's cart1 making its way round the road to the back of the mill4 ,oh1 father1 stop6 she called4 ,i want to get in6 ,eh1 ,pollie6 ,bless you1 child2 what do you want out so late8 ,then ,pollie told him1 glad to pour out all her news into such kind1 sympathising ears4 ,i'd not like you to keep anything from your mother1 he said2 you had better tell it all to her when ,james is not by4 ,yes1 father1 said ,pollie slowly4 ,mothers are good friends1 said her father4 ,how she wished that he had been willing to let the secret be between her and himself6 ,but that was not her father's way4 ,once before ,pollie had hoped her father would not tell her mother something1 but she soon found her mother knew all about it4 ,mother's as safe to trust as ,i am1 he said then1 and ,i never keep anything from her1 nor she from me4 ,it's a safe rule1 ,pollie1 and a happy one4 ,they jogged along in silence for a few minutes4 ,the hill was stiff1 and her father got out to walk4 ,when he drew up at the door1 and came to lift her down1 he said soberly1 ,there is such a text as ',honour thy father and thy mother1' ,pollie2 we must not forget that6 ,why1 my dear6 exclaimed her mother when she got in4 ,i've sent ,jim down the field-path to meet you6 ,i've come up with father2 he's putting up the horse4 ,mother1 ,i waited to speak to the vicar1 and ,i'll tell you all about it6 ,only--mother1 ,i do believe ,i never was so hungry in all my life6 ,well1 here's tea1 smiled her mother comfortably1 and while you eat it1 you can tell me6 99 99 99 99 99 ,through a mistake at the ,post ,office1 ,harry ,fulbert only got that letter at his ,london hotel the very day he was to sail for ,china4 ,to go8 ,impossible6 ,to stay8 ,equally impossible6 ,those were his first and second thoughts4 ,then slowly he turned and looked round the room4 ,almost everything was packed2 his cases had gone on board the ,p4 and ,o4 boat three days ago2 his portmanteau lay open at his feet2 nothing but a few last purchases had to be made4 ,his passage in that special boat had long been taken1 his friends would turn up at the appointed time at ,tilbury to wave him good-bye4 ,he had parted from his mother--how could he alter now8 ,he stood with his elbow on the mantelshelf1 looking at ,mary's picture1 and then suddenly1 he walked over to the door1 and turned the key in the lock2 and then1 with another sudden movement1 he threw himself on his knees1 and buried his head on his arms4 ,was he the true golden gold after all8 ,was he only giving way to his overwhelming disappointment8 ,or was he asking his best ,counsellor what he was to do in this sore crisis8 ,when he arose from his knees1 he looked round once more4 ,he put away the photograph1 locked his portmanteau1 took up his hat and went out4 ,in another half-hour he was standing at the counter of the office of the ,p4 and ,o41 anxiously asking1 if there were any way of getting out of going4 ,i refused a gentleman1 a ,mr4 ,strong1 this very morning1 said the agent4 ,every berth is filled up1 and now it will probably be too late for him4 ,harry ,fulbert asked eagerly if the agent knew the gentleman's address1 and upon its being produced1 the cab was once more set going1 and ,harry found himself stopping at a mansion at the ,west ,end4 ,a few words of explanation introduced him to the would-be traveller1 whom he found in the midst of his luggage1 having just returned from his fruitless errand to the ,city4 ,mr4 ,strong acknowledged he was anxious to exchange his berth1 taken in the next boat1 for one in ,harry's1 but the agent had assured him it was too late now to arrange anything4 ,but your luggage8 said ,mr4 ,strong1 when in a few hurried words they had canvassed the whole subject1 and arranged for an exchange of tickets4 ,harry laughed4 ,that ,i can do without till ,i follow it6 ,i cannot tell you what a load is taken from my heart6 ,and the gentleman shook his hand warmly with a genial smile4 ,i expect you are as glad to stay as ,i to go6 ,harry was so overjoyed at the release1 that it carried him over his surprise and grief at ,mary's letter4 ,now he would have the opportunity to go back to her1 and find out what she could mean by those few hurried sentences1 in which she had told him that she must give him up4 ,just now he was only anxious to enable his new friend to catch the boat4 ,there was little enough time1 but he kept his cab while the last few things were collected1 and before long they were rolling together to ,fenchurch ,street1 en route for ,tilbury1 the gentleman to start on his long journey1 and ,harry to meet his friends and tell them that unexpected and pressing business detained him in ,england4 ,as to ,mary's letter he would not think of that6 ,there must be some mistake6 ,so while ,pollie was waiting with beating heart in the vicar's study to tell her tale1 ,harry was paying his bill at the hotel1 and taking his ticket at the ,great ,western station to a country village sixty miles from ,london4 ,little did she think that the threads which seemed in such a hopeless tangle were held in ,hands which knew the end of every one of them2 nor how surely out of the confusion was coming ,his perfect will for those who trusted ,him so fully4 ,little did ,pollie think as she sat telling her mother all about it1 receiving her sympathy and finding it more comforting than she had expected1 that the subject of their thoughts was even now drawing nearer and nearer to that moonlit village1 as fast as the train could bring him4 ,mother1 you are 'very' kind1 said ,pollie gratefully1 as she wished her good-night4 ,how glad she felt now that she had honoured her mother from her heart1 and not only obeyed in the letter4 ,illustration ,illustration ,,chapter ,,xii4 ,,off ,,to ,,london4 ,,where is uncle going8 exclaimed ,mary ,loveday the next morning1 as she and her aunt sat in the vicarage dining-room after breakfast4 ,up to the mill1 ,mary4 ,oh1 auntie1 how kind of him1 so early6 ,we were young ourselves once1 ,mary1 she said2 and besides-- ,mary had been very brave1 but at the kind tone she broke down4 ,she had no mother into whose arms she might throw herself1 and sob out her grief4 ,perhaps her aunt felt that1 for she came over to her1 and put her arm round her shoulders4 ,it will surely come right in the end1 if we trust it to ,god1 ,mary1 she said gently1 but this suspense is a sore trial for you4 ,it is not exactly suspense1 said ,mary brokenly because--except for ,god having it in hand--it is too late4 ,my letter must have reached him before he sailed yesterday1 and he has sent me no answer4 ,her aunt was silent4 ,it was a great perplexity1 and gave her more heartache than she liked to acknowledge4 ,but ,mary raised her head4 ,aunt1 ,i'm not going to think how hopeless it is4 ,pollie said1 ',it couldn't happen without ,god's will1' and that is true4 ,i am not going to grieve any more4 ,she was walking by faith1 and not by sight4 ,she had hold of her ,father's hand1 and knew that1 come rain or shine1 she was being led by the right way4 ,would she be able to thank ,him by-and-by for even this dark bit8 ,in an hour the vicar returned1 and he came at once to where his wife and ,mary were sitting working4 ,i'm going to ,london1 he said1 by the two o'clock train4 ,and if you are well enough1 ,mary1 ,i am going to take you for the little jaunt with me1 to give you a change4 ,i8 ,oh1 uncle6 ,yes1 you6 ,and ,i thought there was another little body that would be pleased to go to ,london1 so ,i've done a bold thing1 my dear1 turning to his wife4 ,i've asked ,mary at the mill to bear our ,mary company for two days4 ,i like that girl6 ,she's as true as steel--or what is it1 ,mary8 ,something better than steel1 eh8 ,asked ,mary at the mill8 echoed ,mrs4 ,loveday1 astonished4 ,did her father like her to go8 ,yes1 to be sure1 he did6 ,why not8 ,it was her mother who hesitated1 but ,i think that was about a hat or something4 ',just let her put on what she comes to church in on ,sundays1' ,i said1 'and she will be all right4 ,she is always neat1 and what do you want more8' ,where will she meet us1 uncle8 asked ,mary4 ,will she come here1 or go to the station8 ,yes1 come here at half-past one4 ,i said ,i would drive you both in the trap4 ,so ,mary ran up to make her few preparations1 and then1 till lunch should be ready1 she went out into the garden1 glad to be quiet for a few minutes4 ,what did her uncle mean by this sudden journey to ,london8 ,and how could it be of any use if ,harry had already sailed8 ,while ,pollie was turning over her drawers at the mill1 trembling with excitement1 and wondering whether her things would be good enough to do honour to her dear ,miss ,mary1 ,mary herself1 ready for her journey1 stood looking into the stream at the bottom of her uncle's garden1 and wondering what her journey to ,london would bring forth4 ,she had longed to be alone that she might recollect once more that she had given all up into her ,lord's hands1 and was going patiently to wait till ,he should do ,his will4 ,how still the water was4 ,how silently it flowed on and on2 how clear its depths2 how bright its reflections when it caught the sunlight4 ,mary was fond of turning to-day's sights and sounds into little lessons of love set by her heavenly master1 so she thought now that she would wish to be as the stream1 deep and still in the shade1 and bright and praise-giving in the sunshine4 ,i want to 'please' ,jesus1 she said1 with a happy smile1 turning away now she had had a glimpse1 by faith1 of her ,saviour1 and ,he knows that6 ,people often wondered why ,miss ,loveday had such an influence among her class of girls4 ,but some one had once said to her1 ,never be satisfied in the day till you have seen ,jesus6 and this was her secret4 ,so if a cloud arose1 she tried to have a moment's quiet to get a sight of her ,saviour1 and having had that sight1 she went on her way rejoicing4 ,so she turned from the stream and left its singing waters behind1 with their shadows and sunshine1 and made her way back to the house1 ready to enliven her aunt1 or meet ,pollie1 or do anything happily that came to hand4 ,meanwhile ,pollie was wishing her mother good-bye at the mill1 and feeling as if1 even for two days' absence1 the parting was harder than she could bear4 ,she tried to say everything1 and ended in saying nothing4 ,she wanted to tell her mother that she was sorry she had been so tiresome lately1 but the words stuck in her throat and made a sort of ball there4 ,she wanted to beg ,jim to do everything for her mother1 even better than she had1 but instead she only got out the words1 ,don't forget to water my plants6 ,and then she found herself running down the field-path as if she were pursued1 with her eyes so blinded that she nearly went headlong in her best clothes4 ,at last she paused at the stile at the bottom1 and just as she was going to spring over it1 she met the vicarage maid hurrying up4 ,pollie1 she exclaimed1 ,miss ,mary wants to see you6 ,why1 ,i was coming6 said ,pollie1 surprised4 ,it isn't late1 is it8 ,no--not late1 only-- ,pollie had swallowed her tears4 ,the maid did not explain1 but seemed in a great hurry to get back1 so ,pollie followed her in silence1 inwardly wondering why ,miss ,loveday had sent to meet her1 but concluding it might be because she feared that she might be late for the train4 ,at the vicarage gate the trap was already standing waiting4 ,was she late after all8 ,as they entered the hall door1 ,mary ran out from the drawing-room and took ,pollie by both hands1 drawing her into the dining-room and shutting the door4 ,pollie6 she said4 ,shall you be dreadfully disappointed if we do not go to ,london after all8 ,why1 no1 dear ,miss ,loveday1 if you would rather not6 ,uncle says you and ,i shall go another time1 if possible1 she said hurriedly1 but such a strange thing has happened1 ,pollie6 ,he's come-- ,pollie was just going to ask who1 but something in ,miss ,loveday's face made it unnecessary4 ,harry8 she asked1 and then crimsoned at her familiarity4 ,mr4 ,fulbert--,i mean8 ,yes4 ,mary sat down1 still holding her little friend's hands2 and then she disengaged one1 and stroked the glowing cheeks softly1 while she said1 as if she could say nothing else1 ,how nice you look1 dear6 ,and how kind of your mother to spare you6 ,i cannot bear that you should not go--and yet-- ,i do not mind a bit--not a bit1 if you are glad1 ,miss ,loveday6 ,mary paused for a moment1 and then she said1 looking down and speaking softly1 ,it has been so wonderful1 ,pollie1 that ,i can hardly believe it4 ,but you have been such a dear little friend to me that ,i should like to tell you all about it4 ,she took off ,pollie's hat and gloves1 she folded her necktie1 but still she did not seem as if she could begin4 ,at length she said1 in a low tone1 ,i went down to the stream this morning to have a little quiet time alone4 ,i wanted to tell ,god all about it1 ,pollie--to ask ,him to take every bit of anxiety away about all this1 and to take charge of everything for us1 so that we might know that ,he had it in hand4 ,while ,i was there1 and while my uncle was finishing up a few things before he started1 a stranger came to the door and asked for him1 and sent in his card--,mr4 ,filbert4 ,yes1 ,pollie1 it was ,harry6 ,he did not get my letter till he was just starting for ,china1 and then he could not bear to go4 ,and ,i do not know yet how he managed it all1 but he found somebody to exchange his passage1 and the gentleman went to ,china instead of him1 and he came here6 ,oh1 ,miss ,loveday6 exclaimed ,pollie1 with her face glowing4 ,and is he--is he the true golden gold8 ,how could you think anything else1 ,pollie8 ,i 'knew' he was6 ,and will ,mr4 ,loveday allow it now8 asked ,pollie longingly4 ,harry does not wish it to be settled till he has sent for his mother1 but my uncle is perfectly satisfied4 ,he said1 ,pollie1 that he knew 'the true ring' when he heard it4 ,pollie did not know what the true ring meant2 and before she could ask1 ,miss ,loveday had risen4 ,harry is talking to my aunt1 and ,i must go and put on my hat4 ,he is going back by our train1 ,pollie1 to meet his mother in ,london4 ,he will telegraph for her at the station2 and he says he knows she will come4 ,she is staying near ,london1 and they may be back here to-night4 ,i am going to drive him to the station1 only ,i wanted to see you first4 ,mary stooped and kissed her little friend4 ,i shall never forget what a comfort you have been to me1 nor all that you have done for me1 she added gratefully4 ,it was you who won my uncle to think it was possible there might be a mistake6 ,i had better go back home1 dear ,miss ,loveday1 said ,pollie4 ,i am so glad that we had not started4 ,so am ,i4 ,but we will go to town another day1 ,pollie4 ,pollie set off homewards1 and just as she got to the stile1 she heard wheels1 and in a moment1 before she could disengage her dress from a nail which had caught it1 ,mary and ,mr4 ,fulbert were close upon her1 as the vicar's fleet pony took them quickly past4 ,not too fast1 however1 for ,pollie not to recognise1 in her dear ,miss ,loveday's friend1 some one whom she had seen before1 and knew long ago to be the true golden gold6 ,illustration ,,chapter ,,xiii4 ,,pollie ,,recognises ,a ,,friend4 ,,mother6 exclaimed ,pollie1 running over the green in front of the mill and throwing herself into her mother's arms1 ,i haven't gone6 ,but it's all right4 ,there is no need to go now4 ,you don't say so8 asked her mother4 ,i am glad1 but ,i expect you are rather disappointed1 my dear6 ,no1 ,i'm not2 ,i'm too glad to care on my own account4 ,and1 besides1 ,i could not bear to leave you1 mother4 ,foolish little girl6 said her mother fondly1 but there were tears in her eyes as she said it4 ,perhaps she felt at that moment rewarded for all the love and care she had expended on her wayward child4 ,and1 mother1 ,pollie went on unconsciously1 such a wonderful thing has happened4 ,come in1 and ,i will tell you4 ,they entered the mill together1 and ,pollie went to put away her best hat1 wondering if it could be true that it was only an hour since she had put it on with such care for her visit to ,london4 ,when she came back into the kitchen1 her mother was getting out some teacups4 ,come along1 my dear1 she said in her cosy way2 you had but a mouthful of dinner before you started1 and ,i daresay you will not be sorry to see a cup of tea4 ,i shall not1 myself1 ,i am sure2 and then you can tell me your tale4 ,pollie thought that there was nobody in the world so comfortable as her mother1 and sat down by the fire with a very contented face4 ,well1 my dear8 asked her mother1 smiling at her4 ,oh1 such a wonderful thing6 exclaimed ,pollie again4 ,do you remember1 two years ago1 when ,i was at ,aunt ,elizabeth's8 ,i remember that very well--and so do you1 answered her mother4 ,yes--2 and do you remember ,i told you about the gentleman that was preaching there1 and how good he was1 and how interesting8 ,yes1 ,i remember that4 ,well1 mother1 'he' is ,mr4 ,harry ,fulbert6 ,no need for anybody to send up to ,london to ask about him now1 for the moment ,i saw him driving by the side of her ,i knew him again4 ,he's the one that--that brought me to ,christ1 mother2 and now1 if you will let me1 ,i want to go back and tell the vicar4 ,may ,i1 mother8 ,i'll think about it4 ,but you are sure1 ,pollie8 ',sure8' asked ,pollie4 ,i should know him anywhere4 ,i could never forget him1 never4 ,then ,pollie explained all about ,mr4 ,fulbert's coming1 and about the postponed visit1 and the afternoon slipped away so fast that it was nearly her father's tea-time before she had finished4 ,when he came in1 he did not see any objection to ,pollie's paying the vicar another visit1 and himself accompanied her down the hill1 promising to wait for her at her ,uncle ,brown's till she should have made her call4 ,the vicar was standing at his door with his hat on4 ,he greeted ,pollie very kindly1 and asked her if she would walk up the road with him1 as he had just been called to a village two miles up the valley to see a dying man1 and he could not venture to wait4 ,life and death are awful things1 ,pollie1 he said solemnly4 ,life without ,christ is hopeless enough1 but death-- ,they walked along in silence for some time1 till the vicar said suddenly3 ,you wanted to speak to me4 ,then ,pollie told him about it1 and was quite surprised at the vicar's gratitude4 ,i call you a very kind little friend1 he said1 when she had finished4 ,it is not that ,i doubted him in the very least after the talk ,i had with him1 but to find that my ,master has honoured and blessed him by giving him 'souls for his hire' makes me more glad than ,i can say4 ,mary was quite right1 you see1 in saying that there could be no mistake in such an one as he4 ,she 'knew' it was all right4 ,so ,pollie retraced her steps a happy girl1 and found her father deep in a political discussion with his brother1 and not having found the time at all long4 ,so you've never been to ,london after all6 he said1 as she took his arm affectionately1 and they turned homewards4 ,no1 said ,pollie1 shaking her head1 but that can wait4 ,i never was so happy and grateful1 ,i do believe1 father6 ,at least1 never since that day at ,aunt ,elizabeth's4 ,of course that was the happiest day4 ,her father nodded emphatically4 ,it's a wondrous thing to be allowed to carry the ,king's messages1 he said thoughtfully1 referring to ,harry ,fulbert4 ,perhaps some of us would be trusted with more of them if we were more willing6 ,meanwhile the lamp was lighted1 and ,mary and her aunt sat working in the pretty vicarage drawing-room4 ,the train could not come in till after nine that night4 ,and unless ,harry had sped wonderfully well1 he and his mother could not arrive even by that4 ,but he had sped wonderfully well4 ,his mother had been at home when the telegram reached her1 and had prepared to start back with him as soon as he desired4 ,i shall telegraph to you1 anyway1 he had said to ,mary1 as they were driving to the station1 then you will know when to expect us4 ,they sat very silent4 ,mary's aunt was thinking of the change it would be to them all if ,mary should go to ,china4 ,and as to ,mary1 she was praying that the happiness which had come into her life might never make a cloud between her and her ,lord4 ,she had said something of that sort to ,harry that afternoon1 and he had answered1 ,you cannot desire that more than ,i do1 ,mary4 ,i want ,him to be first to both of us4 ,mrs4 ,loveday was called away to attend to the needs of some villager1 and was detained some time4 ,when she came back1 ,mary was sitting where she had left her1 but her work had dropped on the floor1 and instead1 she was studying a pink piece of paper which had arrived during her aunt's absence4 ,here it is1 auntie1 said ,mary1 springing up4 ,just read it yourself4 ,all well2 my mother and ,i just starting from ,paddington4 ,how cheerful it all looked when at half-past nine o'clock the wheels were heard on the drive1 and the travellers walked into the room6 ,mrs4 ,loveday went forward to greet her guest1 and one look into the sweet placid face1 beaming with love and hopefulness1 was enough to satisfy her4 ,where is ,mary8 ,mrs4 ,fulbert asked1 and held out her arms4 ,i have wanted a daughter all my life1 and now ,i shall have one6 ,you will indeed1 said the vicar heartily4 ,harry must forgive all the trouble we have given him1 in the blessing of having our ,mary for his own4 ,i was convinced this morning that ,i might happily give her to him1 but since then ,i have had most unexpected confirmation1 and ,i have nothing to say but to thank ,god that my brother's child has found such a helpmeet4 ,such a supper table as that was6 ,mrs4 ,fulbert sat with her two children by her1 and when she looked at the face of one1 she turned and looked into the face of the other with a mute appeal that touched them both very much4 ,i was coming to see you directly ,harry had sailed1 she said once1 but ,i was not very well4 ,little did ,i think that you could have had all this to go through4 ,it has been all for the best1 said ,mary1 gently4 ,i would not have it different4 ,nor ,i1 said ,harry1 smiling4 ,but for this1 ,i should have been on my way to ,china6 ,illustration ,illustration ,,chapter ,,xiv4 ,i ,,never ,,thought ,,of ,,it6 ,,harry6 ,i shall never be able to spare you both1 said his mother1 looking at him earnestly1 when1 after supper1 the vicar and his wife had left the three together to have a quiet talk4 ,can you not come home again and settle down with me in my old age8 ,i have enough for you both4 ,harry took her hand in his1 that dear thin hand that had guided him all those thirty years4 ,after a pause1 he said gravely-- ,it shall be as you wish1 mother4 ,how can ,i refuse you anything to-night8 ,somebody else will be glad of my post in ,china1 ,i suppose4 ,his mother smiled peacefully1 with a little nave nod at ,mary4 ,it never suited his health1 and he will not be sorry in a few months4 ,there is plenty to do at ,exeter1 and we shall be very happy and very busy1 eh1 my ,harry8 ,and when she wished ,mary good-night1 she said softly1 ,the ,lord has given me this day my heart's desire4 ,mary kissed her affectionately1 but she made no reply4 ,for herself she was glad enough for ,harry to give up his post in ,china1 but she feared that he would be very disappointed4 ,mrs4 ,fulbert looked into her face questioningly4 ,you do not think me selfish1 ,i hope1 my dear8 ,no--oh1 no6 ,you can hardly look at it with my eyes1 she said1 smiling1 holding ,mary's hands between her own1 as if to impress her words4 ,i always said that no money compensated in my estimation for such separations as residence in foreign countries involves4 ,of course1 if you go as a missionary1 that is a different thing2 for ,christ's sake we may have to forsake all that we have1 but ,harry had that situation before he knew what it was to belong to ,christ1 and so-- ,she paused1 for ,harry was standing by them1 looking intently into her face while she was speaking4 ',for ,christ's sake'8 he echoed slowly4 ,i never thought of that4 ,i had my situation1 and it never occurred to me to be a missionary6 ,it has 'occurred' to you to do work for ,christ out there1 ,harry1 said ,mary earnestly1 for you told me of several people that you had helped4 ,is not that being a missionary8 ,i never thought of it1 he said again thoughtfully and even solemnly4 ,mrs4 ,fulbert had turned very pale4 ,surely her heart's desire1 which she thought a moment ago her ,lord had given her1 was not going to be taken away by her own suggestion8 ,mary stood very still1 for she guessed that a crisis was going on in both the hearts before her4 ,what would be the end of it all8 ,what a revolution his mother's words might cause in all their lives6 ,at last ,harry turned1 and fondly put his arm round his mother4 ,i have promised to do as you wish1 he said1 and so we will leave it4 ,if my ,lord has any other plan for me1 ,he will show it in ,his own time4 ,mrs4 ,fulbert looked in his face4 ,harry1 ,i cannot say1 ',thy will1 not mine be done1' to-night1 but ,he will enable me1 ,i feel sure4 ,she kissed them both in silence and left the room4 ,mary6 exclaimed ,harry4 ,my mother's words have turned me upside down6 ,what shall we do8 ,our ,lord will show us1 said ,mary1 and ,i do not think we have to settle it to-night1 have we1 ,harry8 ,perhaps the light will be clearer to-morrow4 ,and the lonely mother upstairs1 who had had her heart's desire so near her1 knelt in beseeching prayer in her chamber1 not asking so much that she might have her will1 as that she should be willing from her heart to have ,god's will4 ,the clock struck several hours1 and still her wakeful eyes could find no rest1 till at last1 a thought came swiftly and sweetly over her with soothing balm1 ',commit' thy way unto the ,lord2 trust also in ,him1 and yielding to ,his will1 she slept4 ,mary was down the first on the following morning1 and was busy preparing the breakfast when ,mrs4 ,fulbert came in4 ,am ,i too early8 she asked1 as she came forward4 ,oh1 no1 said ,mary1 kissing her affectionately4 ,i wonder how you slept1 after all the excitement of yesterday8 ,pretty well1 dear4 ,it was a long while before ,i could give him up1 ,mary1 but ,i did at last4 ,i will take ,god's will1 whichever way it is1 and trust ,him4 ,i am so glad1 said ,mary simply4 ,then1 as if she could not help it1 she gave ,mrs4 ,fulbert another kiss1 and added3 ,i know what it means1 but it is such peace afterwards6 ,perhaps ,harry understood at his first glance at his mother's face1 for no further mention was made of the subject for the present1 and ,mr4 and ,mrs4 ,loveday were not yet aware either of the change of ,harry's plans1 nor of the fresh thought which his mother's words had put into their minds4 ,after breakfast1 ,mary and he set out to carry some of her aunt's jelly to a sick man1 and as their road lay near the mill1 ,mary left ,harry sitting on the stile while she ran in to see ,pollie4 ,pollie was sitting outside the mill1 paring apples for a pie1 and soon saw her dear teacher coming4 ,she ran down to meet her1 and asked if she would come in4 ,not to-day1 dear1 because ,harry is waiting4 ,but1 ,pollie1 ,i wanted to tell you something1 and to ask you to pray-- ,pollie raised her eyes expectantly4 ,it was not the first time by a good many that she and ,miss ,loveday had agreed to pray4 ,when we were talking last night1 ,harry's mother asked him not to go back to ,china--,i mean not to stay--of course1 he must go back till there is someone to take his place2 and he promised he would do as she wished-- ,oh1 ,miss ,loveday6 ,and then she said half a word about it being different if any one went to ,china as a missionary4 ,and1 ,mary1 before we any of us knew1 something had happened that could never be undone4 ,harry had seen that it might be that he should go to ,china as a missionary1 and his mother saw that the very thing which she dreaded--the separation from her only son--might after all be a duty which she could not evade4 ,pollie's eyes were gazing intently into her friend's face4 ,did he say8 she asked4 ,no1 not yet2 but-- ,i'll pray1 said ,pollie earnestly4 ,i am sure ,god will make it plain1 dear ,miss ,loveday4 ,yes1 so am ,i2 only1 ,pollie1 ,i feel as if ,i wanted to 'see6' ,don't you remember that little story you told us last ,sunday8 said ,pollie1 half-smiling4 ,which8 asked ,mary4 ,don't you remember8 ,about the little child going a journey in the dark8 ,you said he did not know the way in the least1 and yet he was not a bit anxious or worried1 he knew he would get home at last1 just as surely as if he were stepping over the doorway4 ,but that was not because he was strong or wise1 but only just for one very simple reason--his father's lantern lighted1 the 'next' step1 and he had hold of his father's hand4 ,mary's eyes were full1 and so were ,pollie's to match4 ,so full that they did not notice a shadow fall upon them from some one who had come up close4 ,i will think of that1 said ,mary2 thank you1 my little ,pollie1 for reminding me4 ,and ,i will think of that1 said ,harry1 who was standing behind them4 ,he will show the next step1 ,pollie1 will he not8 ,so before long the next step seemed to be that ,harry must go back to ,china and wait for the filling of his post4 ,how quickly that week sped away6 ,near the end of it1 ,mary and ,mrs4 ,fulbert accompanied ,harry to ,london to see him off on his long journey2 and ,pollie1 to her great delight1 was asked to go too4 ,so at last ,pollie did go to ,london1 and for the two days that elapsed before ,harry sailed1 she saw more sights than she had imagined it possible could be seen in the time4 ,anyone watching those four going about would have said that they were perfectly happy4 ,and so indeed they were1 though now and then the parting which was in front of them seemed to pass like a cloud over the brightness of the landscape4 ,not a word more had been said about the missionary project4 ,by universal consent the subject was dropped4 ,the four were praying about it1 but even ,harry and ,mary did not mention it to each other4 ,mary had often watched ,harry's face questioningly1 but though he understood1 he did not seem prepared to talk of it4 ,but the last evening came at length1 and still nothing had been settled4 ,mother1 said ,harry1 as they all stood at the window in the hotel at ,gravesend1 have you thought any more about my being a missionary8 ,mrs4 ,fulbert turned rather pale1 but she put her hand very calmly on her son's arm4 ,i should not like to keep you back1 my dear1 if ,god called you4 ,what do you think1 ,mary8 he said1 turning to look into her face4 ,i have not asked you before1 because ,i wanted for us all to do nothing in a hurry4 ,i am willing either way1 said ,mary1 but-- ,what is the 'but'8 he asked tenderly4 ,we are young1 she said1 leaning her head on ,mrs4 ,fulbert's shoulder1 and we have each other--but you-- ,mrs4 ,fulbert stroked her face softly4 ,thank you1 my dear1 for thinking of me4 ,harry was watching them both intently1 and as his mother spoke1 he bent towards ,mary and whispered1 ,you are right2 and ,i love you more than ever for being good to my mother6 ,mary1 ,i see the next step now4 ,when ,i come back1 if ,god spares us1 we will stay a year with our dear mother4 ,she will be 'our' dear mother then1 you know2 and after that-- ,after that1 if ,god points out the way1 ,i will let you go happily1 or go with you6 said ,mrs4 ,fulbert4 ,i am not too old yet to travel1 if need be1 she added1 smiling a little4 ,oh1 mother1 said ,harry1 how sweet you are6 ,to think that we may be permitted to carry the unsearchable riches of ,christ to some of the millions of ,china6 ,that was a memorable evening to them all1 and in one young heart a seed sank down to spring up and bear fruit in after days4 ,when ,pollie went into her little room that night1 she knelt in silence for a long time by her bedside1 but the prayer that went up from her full heart was this3 ,here am ,i4 ,send me1 send me6 ,illustration ,illustration ,,chapter ,,xv4 ,,visitors ,,at ,,shanklin4 ,,the parting was over4 ,mary1 very pale but more thoughtful of the frail mother than of herself1 kept up bravely1 and no one would have guessed the desolate feeling which came over her as the beautiful steamer became every moment more and more a speck on the waters4 ,it will not be long before he is with us again1 ,god willing1 whispered ,mrs4 ,fulbert4 ,no1 answered ,mary4 ,but her heart went straight as an arrow to her abiding-place1 and found its best rest in the unchangeable love of ,jesus4 ,hope had laid her anchor1 ,found her rest1 ,in the sure calm haven ,of ,his breast4 ,they both had dreaded to go back to the hotel1 and decided to pack up as quickly as possible and to travel home4 ,but when they entered the familiar rooms1 there sat the vicar and his wife1 looking as natural as if they had been there for days4 ,it did not take long to explain that they had come to town to try to persuade ,mrs4 ,fulbert and ,mary to go with them to a southern watering-place for a little change of scene1 while they also bore a letter from ,pollie's mother containing a permission for her to accompany them4 ,i am afraid ,i shall be in the way1 dear ,miss ,loveday1 said ,pollie1 blushing2 and if so1 please do not think of it4 ,i can be put into the train1 and go home by myself1 ,i know4 ,but nobody would hear of this1 and then ,mr4 ,loveday acknowledged that he had already arranged for rooms1 which were only waiting for them to travel to when they felt inclined4 ,so the next day1 they found themselves sitting at tea within sight of the sea at ,shanklin1 a happy party of five4 ,pollie1 said ,mary that evening1 as they stood on the ,esplanade and felt the salt spray blow in their faces1 you are my little friend1 you know1 who understands more about me than anybody in the world--more than ,harry even--and you must learn to call me ,mary4 ,i think of you as a dear little sister4 ,pollie did not answer2 she only squeezed her arm very tightly4 ,say you will1 dear4 ,i'll try1 whispered ,pollie1 but whatever ,i call you1 it will not alter my love4 ,the next morning1 to ,pollie's intense surprise1 she found a letter from her father on her plate at breakfast4 ,on opening it1 she gave such a start that ,mary asked what was the matter4 ,my cousins--the ,browns--from ,chichester are staying here in a house on the cliff6 ,well1 are you glad8 asked ,mary4 ,i suppose ,i am4 ,i hardly know1 said ,pollie1 a little soberly4 ,then1 after a few moments' silence1 she added1 ,if they get to know you ,i shall be1 because you will do them good4 ,so ,mary and she had some talk about them1 and ,pollie told her a little of their life at ,chichester1 and of the gay1 unsatisfactory circle they were in4 ,of her cousin's acquaintance with ,h4 ,f4 she said nothing1 as she felt it was not her secret4 ,you must go up to call on them presently4 ,perhaps they do not know you are here1 concluded ,mary1 as they got up from their seat in the ,chine and made their way back to their lodgings4 ,perhaps not1 said ,pollie2 if they do not know1 they will think ,i have dropped from the skies4 ,so you have1 smiled ,mary4 ,so ,pollie set forth1 and soon found herself knocking at the door of a handsome house where her cousins were lodging4 ,fortunately1 for her comfort1 her father had written to them also1 telling them of ,pollie's presence in ,shanklin4 ,clara received her with open arms1 and led her straight into the garden1 where her ,aunt ,elizabeth was sitting4 ,they were both loud in their praises of how ,pollie had grown1 and how she had improved4 ,presently her aunt went indoors1 saying she would send ,laura out1 and before ,clara had time to say something she was evidently longing to do1 there was a slow soft step on the gravel behind them1 and ,laura stood leaning on the end of the garden seat4 ,clara got up and gave her sister her seat1 and threw herself on the grass beside them1 looking down across the lawn to the view of the sea over the trees4 ,pollie's eyes wandered several times to ,laura's face1 but they came back again unsatisfied4 ,laura looked as pretty as ever1 but there was a transparency about her that reminded ,pollie of a young girl who had died of consumption in their village4 ,she was so taken up with this thought that she made quite a muddle of explaining how she came to be at ,shanklin1 and who ,miss ,loveday was4 ,isn't that the name of that old lady you and my father used to be so devoted to8 asked ,clara1 puzzled4 ,that was my ,miss ,loveday's aunt1 said ,pollie4 ,you will like to know her1 ,i mean my ,miss ,mary1 she is so awfully nice4 ,clara laughed1 but added more warmly1 ,well1 ,i'll come down and make her acquaintance4 ,i'm moped to death here1 with ,laura coughing all the time4 ,there will be some fun now you're here6 ,so ,pollie stayed for half an hour and then went back1 ,clara volunteering to accompany her down the hill4 ,pollie looked towards ,laura1 but ,clara said she would be all right till she came back1 and took up her hat and ran off down the garden4 ,the fact is1 she said abruptly1 when they turned into the road1 ,i wanted to have a little talk with you about ,laura4 ,we've never heard another word from ,h4 ,f4 since you left1 nearly a year ago4 ,of course the friends he was staying with hear from him1 ,i suppose1 but he has never sent even a message to ,laura-- ,i am so sorry1 said ,pollie1 ,i wish-- ,what's the use of wishing1 said ,clara bitterly4 ,it has broken her heart4 ,i see it all now1 and if we had not been so secret over it1 ,i daresay it would not have happened4 ,at any rate1 she would not have taken it to heart like this4 ,as to me1 ,i'm utterly miserable4 ,cannot you tell ,aunt ,elizabeth or ,uncle8 urged ,pollie gently4 ,you would be so much happier4 ,clara shook her head1 and then added1 ,sometimes1 ,i think ,i must1 but ,laura will not hear of it4 ,does she think he will come back8 asked ,pollie4 ,oh1 no6 ,there is a report that he is going to be married4 ,laura has never raised her head since that4 ,poor ,laura6 said ,pollie4 ,sometimes ,i have wished more than ,i can say to see you4 ,i even asked ,ma to write and invite you4 ,but she said she did not see that it could do ,laura any good4 ,i wish ,i could1 murmured ,pollie4 ,i fancy you might4 ,every day ,i see her getting weaker1 and my heart is really broken4 ,but ,i could not help her1 exclaimed ,pollie1 except-- ,yes1 that's it6 said ,clara eagerly4 ,you have learned a secret that we haven't4 ,i thought that you might give her some of your comfort4 ,can't you8 said ,pollie4 ,it is open to everyone4 ,i mean ,jesus ,christ is-- ,clara had hold of her arm4 ,she pressed it now with unusual affection4 ,pollie1 you do sometimes pray8 ,sometimes6 echoed ,pollie4 ,well--would you--could you8 ,i know we do not deserve it1 but could you pray for us8 ,of course ,i will1 and so will ,miss ,mary4 ,oh1 don't tell her6 ,not anything you do not like4 ,but if you want a blessing1 why should you mind our praying for it8 ,clara turned very white1 but she suddenly exclaimed3 ,do as you think best4 ,i'm so miserable6 ,what if ,laura should die8 ,oh1 do tell my aunt1 urged ,pollie4 ,do1 do1 ,clara4 ,you will find a load gone when you do6 ,they had reached ,pollie's home4 ,clara refused to come in1 and with a passionate kiss on ,pollie's cheek she turned homewards1 while ,pollie with full heart went upstairs to find ,mary and tell her all about it4 ,illustration ,illustration ,,chapter ,,xvi4 ,,missionaries ,,at ,,home4 ,,that evening after tea1 ,mary and ,pollie set out for the cliff1 ,mary to carry a bunch of flowers to the invalid and ,pollie to ask her cousin ,clara if she would go for a walk4 ,mrs4 ,brown was out at the moment4 ,thus ,mary found herself sitting quietly with ,laura1 the golden glory of the sunset lighting up the ,culver ,cliffs and tipping the distant sails as they passed along the horizon4 ,laura had been idly scanning the local paper1 and her thin fingers rested in it still4 ,i was reading the names of the visitors here1 she said4 ,there was no one we know yesterday4 ,clara and ,ma generally go out in the evening and the time seems long4 ,perhaps you will let me come and see you sometimes8 said ,mary4 ,we expect to be here a fortnight4 ,if you like1 said ,laura listlessly4 ,ma is going home to-morrow and ,clara will be very dull1 as she says1 with my cough4 ,she was still glancing at the paper1 when suddenly a deep colour spread over her face1 and with an exclamation of dismay1 she exclaimed hurriedly3 ,where's ,clara--oh1 ,miss ,loveday1 call ,clara6 ,she is out1 dear4 ,what is it8 said ,mary soothingly4 ,she will be back directly4 ,laura's cough had come on with such violence that she could not answer1 but she pointed piteously to the list of visitors staying at one of the hotels4 ,mr4 and ,mrs4 ,henry ,fulbert1 read ,mary--and then as by a flash1 she realized the whole story6 ,this was the ,h4 ,f4 to whom poor ,laura had given her heart2 this was the one against whom her uncle had warned her6 ,the ,harry ,fulbert who was not the true golden gold6 ,she took the invalid into her arms1 stranger though she was1 and tried to comfort her with the comfort wherewith she herself had been comforted of ,god4 ,poor ,laura6 she whispered4 ,i see it all1 but there is ,jesus left4 ,he healeth the broken in heart and bindeth up their wounds4 ,my heart is broken1 sobbed ,laura4 ,i have been disobedient to what ,ma would have liked2 ,i've kept a secret from her all this year4 ,he told me he would come back and ask me1 and now he has gone and married someone else6 ,i had heard he was going to1 but ,i would not believe it6 ,poor ,laura6 again said the soft1 soothing voice4 ,let us tell the ,lord ,jesus all about it1 and come to ,him for forgiveness4 ,indeed1 'indeed' ,he will comfort you if you will let ,him6 ,i do not know anything about ,him1 said ,laura1 as she allowed ,mary to lay her on the sofa1 and then she buried her head in the cushions and cried as if her heart would break4 ,it makes me cough to cry1 she moaned2 and ,i am so miserable6 ,so miserable6 ,can you bear to tell me all about it8 asked ,mary1 guessing that if she could bring herself to speak it out she would feel better4 ,but ,laura only shook her head and lay sobbing and coughing4 ,you will do yourself harm1 said ,mary at last4 ,i fear for you if you give way to grief like this-- ,and well you may1 said ,laura1 turning round upon her1 and looking at her with pathetic eyes4 ,ma doesn't guess it1 nor ,clara either1 but ,i'm dying--and ,i've no hope--none6 ,oh1 how thankful ,mary was that she knew the hope herself1 and could tell the shrinking invalid of ,him who has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows1 and with whose stripes we are healed6 ,he loves 'me8' questioned ,laura1 as she lay on her pillows utterly exhausted4 ,can ,he love me who has never given ,him a thought1 except to turn away from ,him2 who has said in her heart she would do without ,him8 ,indeed ,he does1 said ,mary tenderly4 ',while we were yet sinners1 ,christ died for us4' ,that seems so wonderful1 doesn't it1 but so nice8 ,laura lay very still4 ,the room grew darker and darker1 but the others did not come back1 and ,mary was thankful for it4 ,at last1 ,laura put out her trembling hand4 ,i can never thank you1 she whispered4 ,would you mind kissing me8 ,mary bent over her4 ,you have let ,jesus comfort you8 she asked tenderly4 ,it is not only mine1 is it1 dear8 ,oh1 no6 she responded earnestly4 ,but it is only just in time-- ,at the moment ,mrs4 ,brown came bustling in4 ,ma1 dear1 said ,laura faintly1 come here4 ,there was some inexplicable change in the voice1 something which even in the half darkness made a cold chill fall on that gay mother's heart4 ,ma1 dear1 she went on as ,mrs4 ,brown came close1 you will hear all when ,i am gone1 ,clara will tell you4 ,i've gone astray like a lost sheep1 but ,jesus ,christ has found me4 ,will you forgive me8 ,mrs4 ,brown knelt down by her side1 kissing her in an awestruck manner1 and for a moment she felt two feeble arms round her neck1 and then they relaxed their hold1 and slowly fell back4 ,laura had gone where all tears are wiped from off all faces4 99 99 99 99 99 ,pollie's little story is done--or perhaps not much more than begun4 ,the links1 which were riveted in all that time of trouble1 were a chain which no time or circumstance could break4 ,harry--,mary's ,harry--came back from ,china in a few months' time1 and very soon he and ,mary were married and went to ,exeter for the promised year4 ,pollie went to her home1 to be the sunshine of her father and mother and ,jim1 waiting and working1 ever with the view in her inmost heart of obeying her ,lord's command to go to tell of his unsearchable riches to those who have never heard4 ,clara went back to ,chichester an altered girl1 leaving that grave behind her as a lasting memorial of their sorrowful deception4 ,mrs4 ,brown was stunned by the sudden blow of her daughter's death1 and for years would only refer to the matter by a cold ,i never acted like that myself1 and ,i do not understand it4 ,all that time ,clara's patience and love were severely taxed1 but she came out of the ordeal as gold purified seven times4 ,and there came a day at last when her faith and patience were rewarded1 and ,mrs4 ,brown acknowledged with humbled spirit that she too needed a ,saviour1 and if ,jesus had made ,clara what she was1 she might well trust ,him4 ,illustration3 ,finis