,,coram ,,sanctissimo ,,before ,,the ,,most ,,holy 7,,coram ,,sanctissimo7 ,,by ,,mother ,,mary ,,loyola ,,of ,,the ,,bar ,,convent1 ,,york ,,edited ,,by ,,father ,,thurston1 ,s4,j4 ,,st4 ,,louis1 ,,mo4 ,b4 ,,herder #ag ,,south ,,broadway ,,london3 ,,sands ,,co4 #aijd ,nihil obstat4 ,,herbert ,,thurston1 ,s4,j41 ,censor ,deputatus4 ,imprimatur4 ,,herbertus ,,card4 ,,vaughan1 ,archiep4 ,westmonast4 #aeth ,september1 #aijj4 ,,to ,,jesus ,,christ ,,yesterday ,,to-,,day ,,and ,,the ,,same ,,for ,,ever ,,preface4 ,the custom of honouring the ,eucharistic presence of ,christ our ,lord by paying 8,visits0 to the ,blessed ,sacrament may be quoted as one of the most conspicuous examples of development in the devotional practice of the ,catholic ,church4 ,down to the latter part of the ,middle ,ages such an usage seems to have been entirely unknown4 ,as far as regards ,england1 the late ,father ,bridgett1 if ,i mistake not1 says that in all the researches made by him while compiling his ,history of the ,holy ,eucharist in ,great ,britain he had not come across one clear example of a visit to the ,blessed ,sacrament in pre-,reformation times4 ,even on the ,continent the idea of any extra-liturgical cultus of the ,blessed ,eucharist seems to have grown up very tardily4 ,there were many saints as late as the fifteenth century1 say1 for example1 ,st4 ,frances of ,rome1 whose lives show no trace of such a conception1 though nothing could be more strongly emphasised than their devotion to the ,blessed ,sacrament in ,holy ,communion4#a ,it is remarkable to notice that even ,st4 ,ignatius ,loyola1 in the book of the ,spiritual ,exercises1 when directing attention to the abiding presence of ,god with ,his creatures as a motive for awakening love1 says not a word of the ,blessed ,sacrament4 ,one must not1 of course1 press the negative argument too far4 ,no prudent man would infer in this latter case that the practice of visiting churches to commune with our ,lord in the ,tabernacle was unknown in the sixteenth century1 but it is reasonable to conclude that the uninterrupted ,eucharistic presence of ,god with ,his people did not then play the same conspicuous part in the devotional life of the faithful that it does in our day4 ,this late and gradual development of a devotion1 which seems to us now so natural and so unmistakably involved in premises that all men accepted1 is certainly a remarkable fact4 ,even to the present day the ,greek ,church1 though its belief in transubstantiation is no less explicit than our own1 has never drawn the inference that our ,lord has come in the ,blessed ,sacrament to be our companion and refuge as well as our food4 ,it seems to have been part of the ,divine dispensation1 in this as in some other matters1 to hold men's eyes that they should not know ,him4 ,throughout the long centuries our forefathers seem to have regarded the ,eucharistic presence as if ,christ had wished to preserve ,his incognito while ,he dwelt amongst them1 or as if ,he were sleeping as of old in the bark of ,peter and would rebuke the want of faith of those who too importunately disturbed ,his repose4 ,but surely we are right in thinking that if they so apprehended ,god's purpose in remaining on our altars1 their appreciation of ,his boon was but inchoative and imperfect4 ,to us now it seems so obvious that the work of ,jesus ,christ in the ,blessed ,sacrament was not meant to be intermittent1 limited to the time of ,mass and ,holy ,communion1 that it is hard to believe that ,christians who truly recognised this presence in their midst can ever have conceived otherwise4 ,perhaps we may draw the lesson that if the fulness of understanding were long delayed in so plain a matter1 it is not surprising that in other dogmas and practices which justify themselves less obviously there may be developments in the ,church's teaching not suspected or at least not clearly apprehended by our forefathers in the faith4 ,as things are1 no devout ,catholic would wish to be deprived of the privilege of drawing near to our ,saviour in the ,tabernacle and making ,him the daily confidant of hopes and fears1 of joys and troubles4 ,but what distresses many pious souls is that having ,him ready and willing to listen they should so often find themselves tongue-tied in ,his presence4 ,the set forms of prayer which they know by heart are worn threadbare by routine1 and books too often prove stiff and artificial4 ,the heart has many wants and longings1 but hardly knows how to put them into words4 ,in such a case real help1 ,i think1 is likely to be found in this very miscellaneous collection of musings1 self-arraignments1 out-pourings of spirit1 to which the authoress has given the apt name of ,coram ,sanctissimo1 8in the presence of the ,most ,holy04 ,they are not intended to be taken in rotation1 or to be used every day1 but there are times when a troubled worshipper1 turning over the leaves1 may light upon something here which will chime in with his mood and will make the task of prayer more easy to him4 ,and if for one or another the thoughts of this little book may serve to break the ice and to render the soul for the nonce more at home in that holy presence1 ,i feel sure that the authoress will consider the labour spent in writing it to have been abundantly repaid4 ,it will be noticed that in the pages which follow verse finds a place as well as prose4 ,it would not be fair to let this go forth to the world without stating that it has been written1 so to speak1 under protest1 and that without strong encouragement ,mother ,mary ,loyola would hardly have suffered it to see the light4 ,although the verses are perhaps unequal1 ,i do not in any way repent the share ,i have had in urging the writer to let them stand4 ,it would have been worth a greater risk of failure and a longer expenditure of time to have secured even a few such happy lines as may be read for instance in the chapter headed 8,in ,silence and in ,hope10 describing ,st4 ,mary ,magdalen3-- ,she came with her crushing memories1 ,she came with her secret fears1 ,she brought ,him her hidden misery ,and her bitter1 burning tears4 ,or again3-- ,absorbed in her loving ministries ,she knelt at ,his feet apart1 ,the scandal of every eye save one ,that soundeth the secret heart4 ,the verses at best are only an experiment4 ,they were written in each case for the sake of the thought1 not of the metrical form1 and if the authoress could have found1 as she long endeavoured to do1 any suitable religious poetry which expressed kindred ideas1 and which would have afforded that variety which is meant to be characteristic of this little booklet1 she would have been glad1 ,i know1 to escape the seeming presumption of appearing as a writer of verse4 ,but ,i do not think that the many friends who use and appreciate ,mother ,loyola's ,confession and ,communion and her other devotional books will be disappointed in anything which may meet their eye in this new effort of her pen4 ,,herbert ,,thurston1 ,s4,j4 #aath ,september1 #aijj4 #a ,the earliest satisfactory example of visits to the ,blessed ,sacrament which ,i have so far come across occurs in the life of ,blessed ,maria de ,malliaco 7,a4,d4 #acca-adad71 who1 it is stated1 8in festis solemnibus vigilabat in ecclesia coram corpore ,christi04 ,the story of ,st4 ,louis of ,france1 who in a grievous storm placed himself on his knees before the ,blessed ,sacrament on ship-board1 does not appear to me to belong to quite the same category4 ,i should be grateful to any readers of this note who may be able to supply me with earlier instances4 ,,contents4 ,,chapter ,,page ,i4 ,,visits #a ,,ii4 ,,praise #i ,,iii4 8,,possumus0 #ad ,,iv4 ,,the ,,son ,,of ,,man #ah ,v4 ,,what ,,things8 #ba ,,vi4 ,,venite ,,ad ,,me ,,omnes #cj ,,vii4 ,,the ,,hidden ,,god #cc ,,viii4 ,,looking ,,through ,,the ,,lattices #cg ,,ix4 ,,lord1 ,,come ,,and ,,see6 #da ,x4 ,,neglect #dc ,,xi4 ,,faith #dg ,,xii4 ,,after ,a ,,defeat #eb ,,xiii4 ,,after ,a ,,victory #ee ,,xiv4 ,a ,,divine ,,friend #eg ,,xv4 ,,an ,,evening ,,visit #ei ,,xvi4 ,,privileged #fc ,,xvii4 ,,the ,,improvidence ,,of ,,love #fg ,,xviii4 ,,changes #gj ,,xix4 ,i ,,have ,,somewhat ,,to ,,say ,,to ,,thee #gc ,,xx4 ,a ,,divine ,,plaint #gg ,,xxi4 ,,thanksgiving #hj ,,xxii4 ,,darkness #he ,,xxiii4 8,,what ,,is ,,truth80 #ia ,,xxiv4 ,,his ,,second ,,coming #ie ,,xxv4 ,,our ,,earth #ii ,,xxvi4 ,,christ ,,our ,,study #ajd ,,xxvii4 ,,our ,,father #aji ,,xxviii4 ,,hereafter #aaa ,,xxix4 ,,my ,,vineyard #aae ,,xxx4 ,,where ,,we ,,are ,,true #aah ,,xxxi4 ,,in ,,silence ,,and ,,in ,,hope #aba ,,xxxii4 ,,god',s ,,work #abd ,,xxxiii4 ,a ,,strong ,,cry #abi ,,xxxiv4 8,,be ,,ready0 #acc ,,xxxv4 8,,domine1 ,,ecce ,,quem ,,amas ,,infirmatur0 #acg ,,xxxvi4 ,,after ,a ,,death #adb ,,xxxvii4 ,,god',s ,,ways #ade ,,xxxviii4 ,,twilight ,,and ,,noon #aec ,,xxxix4 ,,responsibility #aei ,,xl4 ,,life #aff ,i4 ,,visits4 ,go to ,him early in the morning1 and let thy foot wear the steps of ,his doors4--,ecclus4 vi4 #cf4 ,how careful we are to observe the courtesies of life6 ,how uneasy till such social duties are discharged6 ,in the making and returning of calls1 how fidgety if hindered1 how sensible that delay demands apology6 ,and this where mere acquaintances are concerned4 ,but what when there is question of a friend1 a benefactor1 one devoted to us and to our interests8 ,if formal visits are here uncalled for1 it is only because our heart needs no prompting4 ,uninvited1 inconsiderately often1 we come and go1 8wearing the steps of his doors04 ,and our best of friends--do we treat ,him thus8--as affectionately1 as familiarly8 ,if not1 why not8 ,is ,he not among the benefactors whose gifts deserve thanks1 the friends whose feelings have to be considered1 the acquaintances1 at least1 whose attentions must be acknowledged8 ,is it because ,he puts ,himself so completely at our disposal that ,he is to be neglected8 ,or because ,he is ,king of kings that ,he is to be considered outside the circle where courtesy is exacted8 ,ah1 ,lord1 how unmindful we are of what is due to ,you6 ,how unmindful ,i am of ,your unfailing devotedness to me6 ,sent into this world as into a strange neighbourhood1 ,i found ,you waiting to receive me1 to make me welcome1 to offer ,your services1 to show me all manner of graceful kindness4 ,you have thrown open ,your house to me4 ,you invite me to ,your table4 ,you press upon me ,your gifts3 8,all ye that thirst1 come to the waters4444 ,come1 buy wine and milk without money and without any price04#b 8,come to ,me and ,i will refresh you40#c 8,him that cometh to ,me1 ,i will not cast out40#d ,you make use of every motive to draw me to ,yourself2 yet have to complain after all3 8,you will not come to ,me that you may have life40#e 8,they began all at once to make excuse4 ,i have bought a farm 444 ,i pray thee1 hold me excused4 ,i have bought five yoke of oxen 444 ,i pray thee1 hold me excused4 ,i have married a wife1 and therefore ,i cannot come40#f ,thus it was long ago2 thus it is now4 ,we have time for other duties--for our correspondence1 our shopping1 our afternoon calls on other more favoured friends4 ,but no time for a visit to ,him4 ,is it so far then to the nearest church8 ,so far that ,he may well accept the distance as sufficient reason for our absence1 except at times when attendance is of obligation8 ,can ,i urge home duties and necessary occupations1 when ,i see who those are that can and do find time to visit ,him8 ,o my ,lord1 why these wretched subterfuges with ,you 8the ,god of truth08#g ,why not fall at ,your feet and own that it is not distance1 nor lack of leisure1 nor any reasonable plea that keeps me from ,you1 but simply and solely the want of love8 ,it is a reason ,i could not give to any other friend4 ,i should have to find some other pretext with which to colour my neglect4 ,but with ,you there need be no dissembling4 ,your friendship stands alone in the perfect frankness and confidence permissible on both sides4 ,we may own to being cold and half-unwilling visitors1 yet we are not for that unwelcome4 ,the petulance1 the selfishness1 the waywardness of our moods that in the very interest of other friendships call for self-restraint1 may show themselves in all their ugliness before the ,all-pitying1 the ,friend 8more friendly than a brother10#h whom nothing can shock1 disgust1 estrange4 ,he wants our intercourse with ,him to be perfectly free2 nothing studied1 nothing strained4 ,he desires to have us as we are1 no less than as we would be4 ,he wants to be taken into our confidence1 to be let into the secret chambers of our souls1 into which we only peep ourselves at stated times and with half-averted glance4 ,he would share in the interests and troubles of the moment2 be called upon for sympathy in every event great or small that interrupts the even flow of our home life or of our inner life2 take part in every experience whether of sorrow or of joy4 ,the soldier off to the front1 the baby with its broken toy1 the girl with her first secret1 no less than the wife1 the mother1 the priest1 with their burdened hearts--,he wants them all4 ,he sees us going off here and there for help1 and comfort1 and counsel4 ,he hears our feet as they hurry past ,his door to wear the doorsteps of other friends1 and ,he calls to us in those tones divine in their tenderness of reproach3 8,you will not come to ,me4 ,my people have forsaken ,me1 the ,fountain of living water1 and have digged to themselves cisterns1 broken cisterns1 that can hold no water40#i 99 99 99 99 99 ,how long1 ,o ,lord1 how long8 ,when shall we wake up to the reality of ,your ,presence in our midst1 and to the purpose of that ,presence8 ,we would die for it if need be1 and yet we heed it not4 ,shall ,i wait till it is brought home to me by the remorse of my last hour1 or by the long1 long hours of purgatory8 ,oh1 why did ,i not make use of my ,emmanuel1 my ,god with me1 whilst ,i had time1 8whilst ,he was in the way with me08#aj ,why during my dream-life down there did ,i not realise the need of ,him that is the one need in this real life of eternity8 ,a child at catechism said3 8,won't it be dreadful for those who don't believe in the ,real ,presence to find at ,judgment that it was real1 that our ,lord was there after all6 ,even if they didn't know any better1 and so it was not their fault1 and our ,lord is not angry with them--,i think they will be so dreadfully sorry all the same40 ,but if these will be sorry1 what will be the case of those who did know and neglected ,him8 ,those to whom ,he will say1 8,so long a time have ,i been with you1 and you have not known ,me60#aa 8,i was daily with you in the temple40#ab ,lord ,jesus1 let not that be my bitterest thought in purgatory1 that land of bitter thoughts4 ,it is time that ,your love should be returned1 that ,i should make amends for the past1 that ,i should hasten to ,you with my sorrow and my love4 99 99 99 99 99 ,go to ,him early in the morning4 ,is daily ,mass an impossibility in my case8 ,he waits for me there1 to offer1 for me and with me1 ,his sacrifice and mine for the interests we share together4 ,and let thy feet wear the steps of ,his doors4 ,more especially in the afternoon or evening1 when the church is quiet and ,he is left all alone4 ,with a little goodwill and ingenuity could ,i not include a visit to ,him in my weekly1 if not in my daily programme8 ,could ,i not so arrange my calls to other friends as to leave a few moments for my dearest and my best8 ,how blessed a remembrance when ,he is brought to my doors at the last1 to be my viaticum1 that in life ,i was faithful to the duties of friendship and wore the steps of ,his doors6 ,o blessed1 self-sufficing ,god ,athirst for me1 ,coming a beggar to my door ,all suppliantly1 ,craving with meek persistence alms ,of my poor heart1 ,a thought1 a word of sympathy--how sweet1 ,how sweet ,thou art6 ,and must ,thou knock and ever knock ,till life is flown1 ,seeking vain entrance to a heart ,that is ,thine own8 ,or wilt ,thou rather work this hour ,such change in me ,that hither ,i may come 8wearing ,thy steps0 ,athirst for ,thee6 #b ,isa4 lv4 #c ,matt4 xi4 #d ,john vi4 #e ,ibid4 v4 #f ,luke xiv4 #g ,psa4 xxx4 #h ,prov4 xviii4 #i ,jer4 ii4 #aj ,matt4 v4 #aa ,john xiv4 #ab ,luke xxii4 ,,ii4 ,,praise4 ,give praise to our ,god1 all ye ,his servants1 and you that fear ,him1 little and great4--,apoc4 xix4 #e4 ,when heaven is opened for an instant it is to let out a burst of praise4 8,glory to ,god in the highest60#ac 8,thou art worthy1 ,o ,lord our ,god1 to receive glory1 and honour1 and power60#ad 8,the ,lamb that was slain1 is worthy to receive power1 and divinity1 and wisdom1 and strength1 and honour1 and glory1 and benediction4444 ,to ,him that sitteth on the throne1 and to the ,lamb1 benediction and honour and glory and power for ever and ever40#ae ,we lift up our heads2 we are rapt4 ,it is an unexpected strain from fatherland that catches the exile's ear and thrills through every fibre of his being4 ,it finds an affinity1 that burst of praise1 in every human soul on which the sense of exile weighs4 ,for it is the strain to which every soul is attuned by the very fact of its creation4 ,the language of praise is our mother-tongue4 ,gementes et flentes in hac lacrymarum valle was no part of ,god's original design for us4 ,we took the golden harps out of ,his hand and strained and broke the strings1 and now the notes are plaintive when not discordant4 ,but ,christ has restored all things4 ,he has brought back our joy by taking our sorrow on ,himself4 ,because here on earth ,he prayed 8with a strong cry and tears0#af the song of praise is to be put again upon our lips4 ,yet a little while and 8,god shall wipe away all tears 444 and death shall be no more1 nor mourning1 nor crying1 nor sorrow shall be any more04#ag ,he is here upon the altar1 waiting to catch up the faint accents of my praise1 and bear them with ,his own before the throne of ,god4 ,do this for me1 ,o dearest ,lord4 ,praise does not come easily to these lips of mine4 ,the cares of life1 and its failures1 and its pains2 heaviness of soul1 and the weight of the corruptible body1 with all the engrossingness of self1 wring my heart dry of praise4 ,a sudden revelation of ,your goodness in the removal of a trial1 or the advent of an unlooked-for joy1 will lighten it for a moment and lift it up to ,you in benediction4 ,yet even this impulse of thankful love is weak and cannot long sustain itself1 and ,i fall again humbled at ,your feet1 to feel how little ,i can do and say even at my best4 ,as to the pure praise of heaven--free of all thought of self1 where self is drowned in the glad1 triumphant1 all-absorbing sense of ,your greatness1 and grandeur1 and all-sufficingness--of this ,i know nothing4 ,yet it is the language of my country1 the tongue ,i shall speak for ever--should ,i not be learning it here in time8 ,a language may be learned in a foreign land though the accent we only catch on its own soil4 ,often and often1 dear ,master1 ,i say to ,you with the ,twelve1 8,teach me to pray04 ,i say to ,you now1 8,teach me to praise04 ,teach me that highest1 purest prayer which will be the incense rising for ever from my heart when other prayer has ceased4 99 99 99 99 99 ,fuller and richer every hour grows the heavenly harmony1 as part after part is taken up by the blessed choristers arriving from earth and purgatory4 ,but for whom are reserved the richest notes in the anthem entoned with human voice by ,christ ,himself8 ,surely for those who have practised that praise even here in hac lacrymarum valle4 ,whose hearts have never been allowed even in exile to forget the tongue of fatherland4 ,which have leaped up day by day in the ,gloria in excelsis and the ,magnificat1 in the ,benedictus and the ,te ,deum4 ,which have persisted in praise when the heart was weighted heaviest1 when doubt1 repining1 rebellion even1 sought to stifle its voice4 ,they heard the call3 8,arise1 give praise in the night04#ah ,and answered3 8,the ,lord gave1 and the ,lord hath taken away1 as it hath pleased the ,lord1 so is it done3 blessed be the name of the ,lord04#ai ,it is this praise in the night that sounds sweetest in the ear of ,god4 ,it is of these ,his faithful servants that ,he says3 8,they shall praise ,me in the land of their captivity1 and shall be mindful of ,my name04#bj ,what wonder that their song shall be sweetest in the ,city of ,peace2 that their voices shall mingle more intimately than the rest with hers whose heart was singing ,ecce ancilla1 even in its agony1 with ,his ,who having sung a hymn went forth to ,calvary6 #ac ,luke ii4 #ad ,apoc4 iv4 #ae ,ibid4 v4 #af ,heb4 v4 #ag ,apoc4 xxi4 #ah ,lament4 ii4 #ai ,job i4 #bj ,baruch ii4 ,,iii4 8,,possumus40 8,can you drink of the chalice that ,i drink of80--8,we can40--,mark x4 #ch1 #ci4 ,far back in the ages before the world was1 8in the beginning10 ,i hear the ,eternal ,father treating with ,his co-equal ,son about my redemption3-- 8,canst ,thou for that soul and for its salvation go down from heaven and be made man80 ,and the ,divine ,word answered3 8,i can04 8,canst ,thou live a life of thirty-three years1 toiling and teaching and instituting ,divine means for its salvation1 and end that life of hardship and suffering by a death of pain and shame80 8,i can40 8,canst ,thou perpetuate that ,incarnation and annihilation even to the end of time2 hiding ,thyself under the form of bread in order to meet it on its entrance into life1 to be its companion1 its refuge1 its food all the days of its pilgrimage80 8,i can40 8,and when1 ,o ,lover of that soul1 it shall meet ,thy love1 ,thy advances1 ,thy sacrifices as ,thou knowest it will meet them1 canst ,thou bear with it still1 supporting its coldness1 its waywardness1 its indifference1 its ingratitude80 ,and ,jesus said1 8,i can04 99 99 99 99 99 ,and now my ,redeemer turns to question me in my turn3-- 8,can you for the sake of your salvation co-operate with ,me and turn to your own profit all ,i have done and am ready to do for you1 resolving to avoid everything that would imperil the great work we have undertaken--all grievous sin and all venial sin that leads to mortal80 ,what can ,i answer but1 8,o ,lord1 ,i can08 8,can you1 as some return for ,my love1 find it in your heart to avoid not only sin1 but the infidelities which impede ,my work in your soul1 obstruct ,my grace and hinder union between us80 ,what is my answer now8 8,can you with the eye of faith see ,me in ,my suffering members1 the poor1 the sick1 the outcast1 the unprotected1 the little helpless children1 and for ,my sake sacrifice leisure1 or ease1 or worldly means to succour and serve them80 8,give me the faith1 ,lord1 to recognise ,you in all these1 and in the strength of that faith1 ,i can40 8,can you come after ,me by taking up your cross daily1 the cross ,i have laid upon you to liken you to ,myself80 8,yes1 ,lord1 for beneath will be the everlasting arms4 ,you will not leave me alone1 and with ,your help1 ,i can40 8,can you uphold ,my cause in the face of ridicule and disgrace1 ready1 if not glad1 to suffer reproach for ,my name80 8,in ,him ,who strengtheneth me1 ,lord1 ,i can40 8,can you bear to be overlooked1 set at naught1 despised by the world as one at variance with its principles1 as following another leader8 ,can you bear the taunt3 #8,and thou also wast with ,jesus of ,nazareth'80 8,look on me1 ,lord1 in hours of trial as ,you looked on ,peter1 and sustained by that glance1 ,i can40 8,can you drink still deeper of ,my chalice--the chalice ,i drained for you--bearing with constancy desolation of spirit and the hiding of the ,father's ,face1 content to serve ,him for ,himself rather than for ,his gifts80 8,in union1 ,o my ,lord1 with ,your desolate soul on ,calvary1 ,i can40 ,,iv4 ,,the ,,son ,,of ,,man4 8,i also have a heart as well as you40--,job xii4 #c4 ,our ,lord does quite simply what some of us are too proud to do4 ,he owns to the yearning felt by every human heart for the sympathy of its kind4 ,he speaks plainly of ,his desire to share ,his joy and sorrows with ,his friends1 and is at no pains to conceal ,his need of their support1 ,his gratitude for their devotedness1 ,his distress at their unfaithfulness and desertion4 8,father1 ,i will that where ,i am1 they also whom ,thou hast given ,me may be with ,me3 that they may see ,my glory40#ba 8,you are they who have continued with ,me in ,my temptations40#bb 8,my soul is sorrowful even unto death3 stay you here1 and watch with ,me4444 ,could you not watch one hour with ,me80#bc 8,the hour cometh 444 that you shall be scattered every man to his own1 and shall leave ,me alone40#bd ,he comes to a weak woman for her compassion and her help4 ,he asks her to spread abroad among ,his friends the words in which ,he unburdened ,his heart to her1 and beg them to come and bear ,him company in ,his life of solitude and neglect4 ,to each one of us ,he says from the tabernacle3 8,stay you here1 and watch with ,me4444 ,could you not watch one hour with ,me80 ,or if not one hour1 one quarter8 ,stay with ,me because ,i am going to offer ,my morning sacrifice1 and men are too busy to assist at the oblation of ,myself for them4 ,stay with ,me for a few moments at midday1 when the glare of the world and its rush and its din are fiercest4 ,turn off the crowded pavement into the quiet church4 8,come apart 444 and rest a little40#be ,stay with ,me because it is towards evening and the day is now far spent4 ,there will be no more visitors for ,me to-day1 none through the long hours of the night4 ,stay with ,me because it is towards evening4 ,o ,lover of men1 so lonely1 so forsaken1 if ,your object in staying with us day and night was to win our love1 have ,you not failed8 ,has it been worth ,your while to work miracle after miracle to produce ,your ,real ,presence upon the altar8 ,have ,i made it worth ,your while to be there for me8 ,jesus1 dear ,jesus1 ,i bury my face in my hands2 ,i know of no heart more ungrateful1 more callous than my own4 ,i have been miserably unmindful of ,your ,presence here for me4 ,i have let self1 pleasure1 troubles even--anything and everything furnish an excuse for keeping away from ,you and neglecting ,you in that sacramental life which is lived here for me4 #ba ,john xvii4 #bb ,luke xxii4 #bc ,matt4 xxvi4 #bd ,john xvi4 #be ,mark vi4 ,v4 ,,what ,,things8 8,art ,thou a stranger and hast not known the things that have been done in these days80 ,to whom ,he said3 8,what things80--,luke xxiv4 #ah1 #ai4 ,some of us1 maybe1 are deterred from visiting our ,lord in the ,blessed ,sacrament by a false conception of what a visit should be4 ,we suppose that the occupations which fill our heads and our hands from morning till night must all be laid aside at the church door and sternly forbidden entrance1 much in the same way as we bid our dog lie down in the porch and wait for us4 ,we read that ,st4 ,bernard thus dismissed all secular thoughts1 and we conclude--though his biographer does not say so--that they returned at the end of his prayer1 and not before4 ,self-mastery such as this demands an effort to which few of us feel equal4 ,do what they will1 the mind of the doctor and the lawyer will run more or less upon their anxious cases1 the student's head will be full of his examination1 the mother's of her household cares4 ,these thoughts if indeliberate will be at least persistent1 and if quite deliberate will become sinful4 ,in either case they render prayer an impossibility--hence we stay away4 ,now do we find this view of prayer borne out by the practice of ,god's servants8 ,of ,david in perplexity and trouble we read3 8,and the ,philistines coming spread themselves in the valley of ,raphaim4 ,and ,david consulted the ,lord1 saying3 ,shall ,i go up to the ,philistines8 and wilt ,thou deliver them into my hand8 ,and the ,lord said to ,david3 ,go up1 for ,i will surely deliver the ,philistines into thy hand4444 ,and the ,philistines came up again4444 ,and ,david consulted the ,lord3 ,shall ,i go up against the ,philistines8444 ,he answered3 ,go not up against them40#bf ,of ,david in a mood of joy and thankfulness we are told3 8,and ,king ,david came and sat before the ,lord1 and said3 ,who am ,i1 ,o ,lord ,god1 that ,thou shouldst give such things to me80#bg ,see1 too1 the simplicity and confidence of ,ezechias on receiving the threatening message of ,sennacherib3 8,and ,ezechias took the letter from the hand of the messengers1 and read it1 and went up to the house of the ,lord1 and spread it before the ,lord04#bh ,a common complaint is that daily worries and anxieties so invade our minds that our prayer has no chance4 ,but is this our feeling about a talk with a trusty friend--a man of sound judgment1 wide experience and influence1 on whose interest in all that concerns us we can count with certainty8 ,should we say3 8,i had half an hour with him this morning1 but my mind was so full of that affair ,i could find nothing to say02 or3 8,i had it all out with him this morning1 and am ever so much better already08 ,why not deal thus familiarly with our best ,friend8 ,if ,ezechias could spread out his letter before the ,lord in that old ,temple1 which was but a shadow of the better things to come1 why may not we carry our good news and our bad before the pitying human ,heart of ,christ1 with us all days on purpose to hear every day1 and1 if we will1 every hour of the day1 all we have to tell ,him1 and hearing all1 to help in all8 ,had our ,lord said to us3 8,i will prosper any spiritual concerns that you commend to ,me1 but really you must look after your own temporal affairs1 and ,i shall count it an irreverence if you bring such things into ,my presence0--had ,he said this1 there might be some excuse for the pains we take to shut ,him out of the cares and business of everyday life4 ,but has ,he said this1 or does all we know of ,him go to prove the exact contrary8 ,did ,he count it an irreverence when the sick were thrust upon ,him at every step2 when a paralytic let down from the roof and laid at ,his feet stopped ,his teaching2 when messengers came one upon another to draw ,him here and there for some temporal need3 8,lord1 he whom ,thou lovest is sick02#bi 8,lord1 come down before that my son die08#cj ,did ,he refuse the invitation at ,cana8 ,and if for a brief space ,he delayed the miracle designed from all eternity to manifest ,his tender interest in the joys as well as in the sorrows of home life1 was it not obviously to show how ,mary's heart beat in unison with ,his1 and to honour ,his ,mother's prayer8 8,lord1 come and see10 said the weeping sisters as they led the way to the grave4 ,look at ,him between them1 listening now to one1 now to the other1 as they tell the history of the past three days--how they had watched and waited for ,him1 and counted on ,his coming1 and ,he came not4 ,see their tearful eyes4 ,see the eager ,heart1 longing for the moment when ,he may reward their trust and turn their mourning into gladness4 ,what should we have felt and said that day at ,bethany if1 after raising ,lazarus1 ,he had turned to us and made ,himself our listener1 placing ,himself1 as was ,his wont1 at the complete disposal of the one who wanted ,him8 ,should we have felt shy of trying to interest ,him in the details of our life1 in our little joys and troubles8 ,or would our hearts have opened out to ,him1 and simply emptied themselves in ,his presence8 ,do we want an ideal visit to ,christ8 ,let us seek it in ,nicodemus' talks by night2 in the centurion's urgent pleading for his servant2 in the unburdening of soul that we see in ,zaccheus and in the sisters at ,bethany4 ,and let us frame our own visits on such models4 ,if a big worry threatens to invade prayer1 why not take it straight away into prayer1 giving it the place and time it wants1 making it the subject-matter of our intercourse with ,god1 and so turning a hindrance into a help6 ,of course we must do all this with reverence and a certain amount of watchfulness1 or our prayer will be no prayer at all1 but distraction pure and simple4 ,but if we put our case before our ,lord and talk it over with ,him1 representing our difficulty1 asking ,his advice1 listening to ,his whispered word in answer1 our time of prayer will be what ,he wants it to be--a time of rest1 and light1 and strength4 ,some may say that this so-called prayer is very unsupernatural1 and that the results of such a compromise between prayer and distraction will not be very satisfactory4 ,it may be so2 we can only reply that there are times without number when this is the only method of getting results at all1 and that our ,lord's method of dealing with ,his own and theirs with ,him was eminently natural4 ,no1 surely1 our difficulty is not due to want of sympathy on the part of ,christ our ,lord4 ,it can only come from our failing to recognise the full purpose of the ,incarnation and its bearing on every detail of human life4 ,had ,his act of ,redemption been ,his one motive in coming amongst us1 ,he might have come straight from ,his throne at the right hand of the ,father to the cross on ,calvary4 ,but the proof of love greater than which no man can give did not satisfy ,him4 ,he wanted as 8,first-born amongst many brethren10#ca as ,head of the human family1 to place ,himself in intimate communication with it on every side1 to touch as far as might be every point1 every experience of human life1 entering personally into its mysteries of joy1 and fear1 and love1 and sorrow4 ,and so we have the years of infancy and childhood and youth1 and--precious above all--the blessed years of the public life1 when 8the ,lord ,jesus came in and went out among us10#cb proving by every word and act ,his desire to be associated with us ,his brethren1 ,his right to ,his name of predilection--the ,son of ,man4 ,he it is ,whom we find waiting for us when our turn comes to pass across the short stage of life on earth4 ,he calls us to ,him1 calls us by our name1 one by one4 ,he bids us take ,him to our hearts as the nearest and dearest of our friends1 ,who alone can stand by us when all others fail4 ,he bids us cultivate ,his friendship1 and try it and prove it4 ,and ,he promises that we shall find ,him what all have found ,him who have put their trust in ,him--what ,martha and ,mary1 and ,paul and ,bernard1 and ,teresa and ,margaret ,mary have found ,him--the 8,faithful and ,true10#cc 8,jesus ,christ yesterday1 and to-day3 and the same for ever40#cd #bf #b ,kings v4 #bg #a ,par4 xvii4 #bh ,isa4 xxxvii4 #bi ,john xi4 #cj ,ibid4 iv4 #ca ,rom4 viii4 #cb ,acts i4 #cc ,apoc4 xix4 #cd ,heb4 xiii4 ,,vi4 ,,venite ,,ad ,,me ,,omnes4 --,matt4 xi4 #bh4 8,come to ,me1 heavy-laden ones1 come all60 ,i hear1 ,i rise1 ,i hasten at ,his call2 ',neath burden bent1 across the threshold steal1 ,the curtain lift1 and in ,his ,presence kneel3 ,there loose my load--and wide1 ,with none to check nor chide1 ,scattering1 a sorry sight1 on every side1 ,they fall--pains1 troubles1 cares--lying1 how meet1 ,about the weary1 way-worn1 wounded ,feet2 ,under the ,eye of yore bedimmed with tears1 ,the ,heart ,gethsemane oppressed with fears1 ,the ,heart that sore afraid ,strong supplication made1 ,and with a sweat of blood the ,father prayed4 ,beneath ,his glance1 as snow 'neath sunny ray1 ,some of my cares dissolve and melt away1 ,and some ,he takes and smoothes a little space ,the less to chafe1 and lays again in place4 ',tis mystery to me ,how some ,he smiles to see1 ,and how on some ,his tears fall tenderly4 ,one ,i hold up to ,him1 and pleading pray1 8,this1 ,lord1 just this1 in pity take away60 ,and ever comes ,his word with cheering smile3 8,a little longer1 trust ,me yet awhile2 ,each pang of keen distress1 ,each prayer1 ,i mark and bless1 ,each in its hour shall show forth fruitfulness04 ,that1 my life's woe1 against a bleeding ,side ,is pressed1 and lo6 transfigured1 glorified1 ,it glows as crystal flushed with rosy ray4 8,o gem unprized6 ,restore it1 ,lord1 ,i pray2 ,as costly gift from ,thee ,dear shall it be to me02 ,and in my heart ,i hide it lovingly4 ,a lightened load ,he lays on me1 all sweet ,with words of love--and thus ,i leave ,his ,feet1 ,with steadier step to plod on day by day1 ,with stouter heart to climb the upward way2 ,and when anew life's strain ,frets me with weary pain1 ,i take my load and go to ,him again4 ,,vii4 ,,the ,,hidden ,,god4 ,vere ,tu es ,deus absconditus6--,isaias xlv4 #ae4 ,there is no use denying that with the exception of rare intervals1 our intercourse with ,god in this life is more or less laborious and difficult4 ,this is only saying that ,heaven is not yet come4 ,faith was meant to be a trial1 and a trial it certainly is4 ,the evidence of sense is against us2 the levity of imagination is against us2 the inconstancy of our desires and of our will is against us when we kneel down to pray4 8,behold ,he standeth behind our wall40#ce ,we know ,he is there1 close as the priest in the confessional1 with attention to every word we say4 ,yet1 for all that1 the words and the confidences come slowly4 ,it is hard to prolong a conversation that is all on one side1 and this1 so it seems to us1 is the case in prayer4 ,useless to tell us that our faith is at fault4 ,that in the presence of the ,pope1 or the ,king1 we should be all attention4 ,where the conditions are so different1 there can be no parallel4 ,the voice1 the look1 the question and answer1 the surroundings--all these are wanting4 ,such admonitions irritate us by their injustice1 and we look away wearily for help elsewhere4 ,but where to look8 ,we cannot alter the present state of things or fix our wandering thoughts and unstable heart4 ,no1 but we can accept all things as they are in truth1 and in the truth find a remedy4 8,behold ,he standeth behind our wall40 ,but the barrier between us is not a drawback1 an obstacle to union with ,him--inseparable indeed from the present condition of things--yet an obstacle for all that4 ,it is distinctly willed by ,him as a necessary part of our trial1 a wholesome discipline1 a purification of love4 ,it has in it all the privileges1 advantages1 blessings1 that in this life belong to pain1 and can be won by pain alone4 ,it is a present blessing as well as a pledge of blessing to come4 8,blessed are they that have not seen and have believed40#cf ,it is a pledge of that full clear vision1 8reserved in heaven for you1 who1 by the power of ,god1 are kept by faith unto salvation1 ready to be revealed in the last time4 ,wherein you shall greatly rejoice1 if now for a little time you must be made sorrowful4444 ,that the trial of your faith 7much more precious than gold tried by the fire7 may be found unto praise and glory and honour at the appearing of ,jesus ,christ3 ,whom having not seen you love2 in ,whom also now1 though you see ,him not1 you believe1 and believing shall rejoice with joy unspeakable40#cg 8,we see now in a dark manner3 but then face to face40#ch 8,i shall see ,him1 but not now40#ci ,how will that face to face vision be the brighter and the sweeter for the dimness now6 ,how will the joy of that moment when we part for ever with faith be intensified by what faith has cost us in the past6 ,o days and hours1 your work is this1 ,to hold me from my proper place1 ,a little while from ,his embrace1 ,for fuller gain of after bliss4 ,that out of distance might ensue ,desire of nearness doubly sweet1 ,and unto meeting when we meet1 ,delight a hundredfold accrue4 --,in ,memoriam #ce ,cant4 ii4 #cf ,john xx4 #cg #a ,peter i4 #ch #a ,cor4 xiii4 #ci ,numbers xxiv4 ,,viii4 ,,looking ,,through ,,the ,,lattices4 --,cant4 ii4 #i4 ,but meanwhile the ,beloved is behind the wall4 ,and ,he is there with all the sympathy for our difficulty which ,his perfect knowledge of it enables ,him to have4 8,jesus 444 needed not that any man should tell ,him 444 for ,he knew what was in man40#dj ,he knows the weariness of praying on against apparently unanswered prayer2 against the pain of physical restlessness1 the labour of thought1 the irksomeness of concentration1 the perpetual gathering together of the forces that are playing truant in a thousand fields1 recalled for a brief space only to be off again more wayward for their capture4 ,all this ,he knows4 ,and our remedy is to remember that ,he knows it4 ,he ,who has appointed prayer to be the channel of grace1 means such prayer as we can bring ,him4 ,he does not ask impossibilities4 ,he does not place us amid distracting work all day long and expect us to shut it out by an effort of will the moment we kneel down to pray4 ,nor even to shut it out by repeated efforts4 ,he would have us turn our distractions and weariness not so much into matter for self-reproach1 or humiliation even1 as into a loving1 trustful plea for ,his pity and ,his help4 ,this is prayer4 ,lay the tired brain1 the strained muscles1 the aching head--lay them all down at ,his feet without a word1 just for ,his eye to rest on and ,his ,heart to help and heal4 ,there are times when physical lassitude1 cold or heat1 an importunate thought1 a trial with its sting still fresh1 baffles every effort to fix the mind on the subject of prayer1 and concentrates the whole attention on what for the moment is all-absorbing4 ,times harder still to manage1 when mind and heart are so absolutely vacant and callous that there is no rousing them to action4 ,this reflection will sometimes be helpful then--,what should ,i have to say were ,i in the presence of the one ,i love best in the world2 with whom ,i am quite at my ease2 my friend par excellence2 to whom my trials1 difficulties1 character1 the secrets of my soul are known2 that one in whose concerns and welfare ,i take the deepest interest2 whose plans and views are mine1 discussed again and again together2 in whose company time flies and the hour for parting comes too soon--what should ,i find to say8 ,say it1 make an effort to say it to ,him ,who is in the tabernacle yonder4 ,o ,jesus1 hidden ,god1 more friendly than a brother1#da ,i believe most firmly that ,you are present1 a few feet only from where ,i kneel4 ,you are behind that little wall1 listening for every word of confidence1 and love1 and thanksgiving1 and praise4 ,listening when my heart is free to pour itself out to ,you as the brook to the river in the days of spring4 ,listening more tenderly when the stream is ice-bound2 when ,i kneel before ,you troubled1 wearied1 anxious about many things1 about many souls perhaps1 yet dry and hard1 without a word to say4 ,make my heart so perfectly at ease with ,you1 ,o ,lord1 that it may be able to turn to ,you even in its coldness and inertness2 to confide to ,you naturally all that most intimately concerns it2 to be content with this1 when discontented with all else1 with self most of all--that ,you know all men and need not that any should give testimony of man1 for ,you know what is in man4#db #dj ,john ii4 #da ,prov4 xviii4 #db ,john ii4 ,,ix4 ,,lord1 ,,come ,,and ,,see6 --,john xi4 #cd4 ,come to my heart as unto ,bethl'hem's grot1 ,a hovel-home that love despises not3 ,can love transform it to a pleasant spot8 ,lord1 come and see6 ,come to my heart as once to ,bethany3 ,a brother's grave is there1 and piteously ,are tears and supplication calling ,thee3 ,lord1 come and see6 ,how flocked of yore unto ,thy blessed feet ,the sick1 the sad1 ,thy mercy to entreat6 ,i too have needs ,thy pitying eye to meet3 ,lord1 come and see6 ,come1 lay ,thy hand upon each leprous stain2 ,come with ,thy word of might the fiend to chain2 ,the open festering sore1 the hidden pain1 ,lord1 come and see6 ,come to my heart1 this dull cold heart of mine1 ,all irresponsive to a love divine2 ,what lacks it to become ,thy hallowed shrine8 ,lord1 come and see6 ,happier by far than in the olden days ,judea's glorious ,temple--what delays ,its song and sacrifice1 its prayer and praise8 ,lord1 come and see6 ,perchance1 like ,temple ,courts1 doth sinful stain1 ,the world's loud trafficking1 the greed of gain ,thy ,father's house1 the house of prayer profane3 ,lord1 come and see6 ,come1 ,holy ,one1 ,i yield myself to ,thee2 ,e'en scourge in hand1 come1 ,lord and ,love1 to me4 ,what change shall make me ,thine1 ,thine utterly8 ,lord1 come and see6 ,x4 ,,neglect4 ,he came unto ,his own1 and ,his own received ,him not4--,john i4 #aa4 ,how strange it seems1 ,o ,lord6 ,for ,you had been promised so long4 ,you had been so ardently desired by the best and noblest of our race2 so gloriously prefigured1 so set forth in prophecy1 as to awaken the keenest expectation and enkindle the most glowing love4 ,how was it1 then1 that ,your own received ,you not8 ,how is it that even now ,you come unto ,your own and are not welcomed1 are not wanted1 are left alone1 not through the night only--that perhaps were to be expected--but through the long day hours1 with ,your so-called friends1 and the weary and the heavy-laden within a stone's throw of ,your door8 ,ah1 ,lord1 the outrage and the sacrilege that mark the hatred of ,your enemies are less to be wondered at1 less to be deplored1 than the coldness of those ,you call ,your own4 ,you are not given to complain4 ,but when along the ages a meek remonstrance does break upon the silence1 it is always the same--the protest wrung from ,you by the desertion of those ,you love4 8,behold 444 my familiar friends also are departed from me4444 ,my brethren have passed by me40#dc 8,do you now believe8 ,behold 444 you shall be scattered every man to his own1 and shall leave ,me alone40#dd ,how ,your ,heart felt the desolation of abandonment2 how1 to speak human language1 ,you feel it still1 ,you made known in that cry of unrequited love1 8,behold this ,heart which has so loved men and is so little loved by them04 99 99 99 99 99 ,who would have thought that ,god could upbraid so tenderly1 or that men could hear such reproach without being touched and won6 ,if not to make great sacrifices for ,him1 if not to give up all1 at least to go a few steps in order to keep ,him company in ,his loneliness1 and sympathise with ,him in ,his sorrows--surely ,he might have looked for this6 ,dearest ,lord1 one would have expected ,you to be in such request upon the altar1 expected that there would be crowding and crushing in ,your presence as in the days of ,your earthly life2 that we should be seen flocking to ,you early and late1 to show our appreciation of ,your love1 and to pour out our troubles into ,your willing ear4 ,where is our faith to leave ,you thus deserted8 8,do you believe8 ,behold you shall be scattered every one to his own1 and shall leave ,me alone40 99 99 99 99 99 ,he came unto ,his own--that is1 ,he comes as far as ,he can--from heaven to the ,host1 and down to the altar rails4 ,further ,he cannot come4 ,the rest of the way must be ours4 ,we must meet ,him there in ,holy ,communion1 or ,his loving journey to us will have been in vain4 ,he will not force our free will4 ,but ,he does so want to come4 ,shall we disappoint ,him8 ,oh1 if our own love will not draw us to ,him1 at least let us have compassion on ,his6 ,if we think ourselves at liberty to deprive ourselves of our communions1 surely we are not free to deprive ,him of ,his4 ,you long1 ,o ,lover of my soul1 to come to me4 ,your delights are to be with me1 cold1 inhospitable as ,i am4 ,come1 then2 come1 ,lord ,jesus1 and in satisfying ,your own desire1 enkindle mine4 #dc ,job vi4 #dd ,john xvi4 ,,xi4 ,,faith4 ,sola fides sufficit6 ,what mainly hinders the freedom and happiness of our intercourse with ,christ our ,lord in the ,blessed ,sacrament is the account we make of feelings4 ,in spite of all that can be said to us1 we persist in applying this untrustworthy test to our relations with ,god1 the result being discouragement and all its evil consequences4 ,feelings are wayward children1 all the more refractory often for blandishments and coaxing4 ,our wisest plan is not to notice them overmuch2 to be glad certainly when they show themselves friendly1 and when they are unpropitious to let them alone4 ,feelings we may dispense with1 but faith never4 ,faith we must follow1 lean upon1 cling to1 with all the more tenacity as the days draw on of which our ,lord said3 8,the ,son of man when ,he cometh1 shall ,he find1 think you1 faith on earth80#de ,with the vehemence that will take no refusal we must constrain her1 saying3 8,stay with us1 because it is towards evening04#df ,where faith enters and takes full possession1 all good things enter with her4 ,we need not go about to seek anxiously for anything else3 ,sola fides sufficit6 99 99 99 99 99 ,give me1 my ,god1 a deep and lively faith in all ,your ,holy ,spirit has revealed and ,your ,church teaches4 ,give me this one thing necessary1 and it is enough for me4 ,sola fides sufficit6 ,the faith ,i ask is a living faith that must needs prove its vitality by good works4 ,give me the faith that lit up the lives of ,your saints4 ,strengthen my hold on all revealed truth4 ,but give me above all an intense1 ever-growing realisation of the mystery of the altar1 the central ,mystery of our faith4 ,realised by me as it was by ,your saints1 what a change that ,presence would make in my life6 ,mind1 heart1 imagination1 will1 views1 aims1 desires directed to it1 absorbed by it--,o ,jesus1 what a transformation this would be6 ,sola fides sufficit6 ,lord1 increase my faith6 ,thou ,who of old didst love ,thy hand to lay ,on the dull1 vacant eyes that craved for light1 ,behold1 ,i come to ,thee1 and crying1 pray3 ,o ,christ1 ,o ,son of ,david1 give me sight6 ,a faith scarce clouded by the mists of earth1 ,a faith that pierceth heaven ,i ask of ,thee1 ,faith to prize all things by their lasting worth3 ,thou canst1 ,thou wilt--,o ,lord1 that ,i may see6 ,if we would think more about arousing our faith than exciting our feelings1 would not our visits and our communions be the gainers8 ,and would not the affections of the heart often follow the lead of faith8 ,a few minutes spent in trying to bring home to ourselves that ,he ,who is really present a few yards from where we sit or kneel is the world's long-promised ,messiah1 ,whose advent kings and prophets desired to see2 ,whom in ,his own time all men desired to see and hear2 ,he at ,whose feet ,mary sat at ,bethany1 unmindful of all but that ,face and that ,voice2 ,he ,whose words--8,peace be still10 8,thy brother shall rise again10 8,go1 and now sin no more0--brought hope and joy to the troubled heart2 ,he ,who fell on ,his ,face under the olive trees1 crushed to the earth by my sins2 ,who died with the thought and the love of me in ,his ,heart that ,good ,friday long ago2 ,who is to come again in the eastern sky where every eye shall see ,him--a few minutes of earnest dwelling on thoughts such as these will rouse in our souls faith and hope and charity1 will kindle humility1 sorrow1 gratitude1 desire--for fuel is furnished for the fire4 8,lord1 ,i believe1 help ,thou my unbelief40 ,i believe that beneath ,your humble veils ,you are here truly present1 ,o hidden ,god6 ,i believe the day draws near when ,you will be the hidden ,god no more2 when ,i shall see ,you coming in the clouds of heaven with great power and majesty1 all nature trembling at ,your approach2 whilst the elect lift up their heads because their redemption is at hand4 ,o ,judge of the living and the dead1 in that awful day remember me6 ,remember me when ,you come to gather ,your own into ,your kingdom6 ,remember1 ,i beseech ,you1 in that second coming1 how often ,i have welcomed ,you at ,your hidden coming1 and let my heart welcome and leap up to meet ,you then4 ,jesu1 quem velatum nunc aspicio1 ,oro1 fiat illud1 quod tam sitio1 ,ut1 ,te revelata cernens facie1 ,visu sim beatus ,tuae gloriae4 ,o ,jesu1 ,whom by faith ,i now descry ,shrouded from mortal eye2 ,when wilt ,thou slake the thirsting of my heart ,to see ,thee as ,thou art1 ,face unto face in all ,thy glad array1 ',tranced with the glory of that everlasting day4 --,g4 ,t4 #de ,luke xviii4 #df ,ibid4 xxiv4 ,,xii4 ,,after ,a ,,defeat4 ,let not this thing discourage thee1 for various is the event of war4--#b ,kings xi4 #be4 ,the cheery words ,you have for me1 ,o ,lord and ,leader1 when downcast and troubled ,i come to tell ,you of another reverse to our arms6 ,truly ,your ways are not our ways4 ,with us results are everything4 ,a general may do his best1 take every precaution1 be skilful in preparation1 and brave in action4 ,yet repeated mishaps will beget mistrust1 and he will find himself superseded in command4 ,it must be so4 ,but it is not ,your way with us4 ,i have not done my best4 ,i have been careless in preparation1 and weak and cowardly in action4 ,yet ,you have nothing but encouragement for me after a rout4 ,no reproach1 no withdrawal of confidence3 8,fight like a good soldier2 and if sometimes thou fall through frailty1 rise up again with greater strength than before1 confiding in ,my more abundant grace04#dg ,at my first call for help reinforcements are sent to the front1 not less1 by reason of my unfaithfulness1 but more1 because of my need4 ,and if ,i am superseded in command1 it is only by ,your coming ,yourself on to the field1 and so strengthening my hands1 that all must give way before us4 ,i am sorry1 ,o my ,chief1 for the dishonour to ,your name and the loss to ,your cause through my fault4 ,but ,i do not despond4 ,i may fail in everything else1 but in trust ,i will never fail4 ,if ,i am overthrown seventy-seven times in the day1 ,i will return to the charge as often1 my resolution the same1 my confidence the same as at first4 ,these perpetual beginnings are painful1 weary work1 but ,your patience1 ,lord1 will never fail3 neither shall my goodwill4 ,i know that the struggle itself brings ,you glory4 ,i know that if ,i keep up the struggle to the end1 ,you will meet me when the time of trial is over with the welcome word3 8,well done60 ,fearful of self1 with sore temptation pressing1 ,i hasten1 ,god of armies1 unto ,thee1 ,my every power1 my every sense confessing ,its insufficiency4 ,taught by the past there is no help in me1 ,i cast myself on ,thee4 ,this is not hard4 ,but false in face of ,heaven1 ,to turn with trusting heart again to ,thee1 ,not once1 not twice1 but seventy times seven1 ,in brave humility3 ,when smarting self would hide its misery1 ,to cast myself on ,thee-- ,lord1 this is hard4 ,thine eye alone can measure ,the weary pain of each relapse to me3 ,yet fraught with grace1 all stored with hidden treasure1 ,is my infirmity2 ,strongest of pleas1 the creature's frailty1 ,that casts it upon ,thee4 #dg ,imit4 of ,christ1 iii4 #f4 ,,xiii4 ,,after ,a ,,victory4 ,thanks be to ,god1 ,who hath given us the victory through our ,lord ,jesus ,christ4--#a ,cor4 xv4 #eg4 ,so often1 dear ,lord1 so very often ,i come to ,you with my defeats1 that it is a refreshment to have something more cheering to offer to ,your ,sacred ,heart4 99 99 99 99 99 ,thanks be to ,god--,it was ,your grace1 my ,god1 throughout--before1 accompanying1 crowning--my share just the co-operation that did not reject the help ,you gave4 ,who hath given us--given me1 so weak1 so cowardly1 so little to be depended on in moments of trouble and conflict2 me1 such a disgrace to the colours often1 such a sorry soldier at best-- ,the victory--nothing much for anyone else1 but something of a triumph1 dear ,lord1 for me4 ,our small successes are not accounted small by ,you1 ,o generous ,leader4 ,you welcome all1 are proud of all1 lay up reward and praise for all against the day of reward4 ,through our ,lord ,jesus ,christ1 by ,whom1 with ,whom1 in ,whom we overcome4 ,we can do all things in ,him ,who strengthens us4 ,jesu1 ,tibi sit gloria6 ,thanks be to ,god1 ,who has given us the victory through our ,lord ,jesus ,christ4 ,,xiv4 ,a ,,divine ,,friend4 ,the woman 444 came and fell down before ,him1 and told ,him all the truth4--,mark v4 #cc4 ,the whole truth4 ,only to one ,friend can we tell that4 ,only one friendship could bear the strain of that revelation4 ,the very exigencies of other friendships call for restraint4 ,can we own to want of confidence1 to utter coldness and callousness1 to a want of sympathy in joys and sorrows that move to its depths the heart of our friend8 ,could the most self-forgetting of human friendships bear up against avowals such as these8 ,no2 we must draw the line here unless we want the free flowing waters gradually to freeze into a glacier4 ,owning to mistrust will hardly be accepted as a mark of trust1 nor will the acknowledgment of coldness beget love4 ,poor affection of these human hearts of ours6--jealous and suspicious at the least show of reticence1 yet unable to bear the disclosures of unreserve4 ,we cannot be hard upon a weakness common to us all1 but we long for a heart human like our own1 yet strong enough to support the weight of all we would put upon it4 ,nor are we disappointed4 ,here in the tabernacle is what we seek4 ,here is a ,heart waiting for all1 ready for all4 ,here we may unbosom ourselves completely4 ,here we may tell the whole truth4 ,narrowness and fickleness1 heartlessness1 mistrust1 selfishness--ingratitude even1 we may tell4 ,we may trust all to this ,beloved without fear4 ,for ,he knows what is in man4 ,no revelation will surprise ,him1 no misery disgust ,him4 ,he will welcome each painful avowal with the tenderest sympathy1 and take all we tell ,him as tokens of trust for which ,he is infinitely obliged to us4 ,,xv4 ,,an ,,evening ,,visit4 ,stay with us1 because it is towards evening4--,luke xxiv4 #bi4 ,it is at night especially that the shepherd looks well to his sheep4 ,good ,shepherd1 ,i gather round ,you to-night the sheep of ,your world-wide flock and commit them to ,your keeping4 ,wherever they are to be found1 there are ,you in the midst of them4 ,in crowded cities--the guardian of the multitudes sleeping around ,you on every side4 ,in the one spot of the quiet village where a light will burn to-night--the ,keeper of the simple souls around ,you there4 ,in many a hut the wide world over--content among savage tribes to share the poor shelter of ,your priest4 ,everywhere warding off the prowling wolf and the evil that walketh in the dark4#dh ,with us not only all days1 but all nights unto the end of time4 ,stay with us1 ,lord1 to-night4 ,stay to adore1 and praise1 and give thanks for us whilst we sleep2 to draw down mercy and grace upon the world2 to succour from earth's tabernacles the holy suffering souls in purgatory in their long night of weary pain4 ,stay with us1 to ward off the anger of ,god from our crowded cities with their dens of vice1 their crimes that call to ,heaven for vengeance4 ,stay with us1 to guard the innocent1 to sustain the tempted1 to raise the fallen1 to curb the power of the evil one1 to prevent sin4 ,stay with us1 to comfort the sorrowing1 to bless the death-beds1 to grant contrition to the dying1 to receive into the arms of ,your mercy the thousands that this night must come before ,you for judgment4 ,o ,good ,shepherd1 stay with ,your sheep6 ,secure them against the perils that beset them4 ,stay1 above all1 with the suffering and the dying4 8,grant us a quiet night and a perfect end40 ,be our merciful ,shepherd to the last1 that without fear we may appear before ,you as our ,judge4 ,stay with us1 ,lord1 to-night4 ,more favoured than the camp of ,israel slumbering under the guardianship of the pillar of fire1 we sleep with the ,presence of ,god ,incarnate shielding us on every side4 ,well may we say3 8,in peace1 in the self same1 ,i will sleep and ,i will rest04 99 99 99 99 99 8,vouchsafe1 ,o ,lord1 this night to keep us without sin40 ,i map out the whole world into districts1 and place each under the jurisdiction of the nearest tabernacle4 ,from that centre let the radiance of the ,divine protection go forth to every soul within its circuit1 enlightening1 guarding--above all1 strengthening against sin4 ,o ,lord1 from every tabernacle send forth to-night a strong efficacious grace1 to stop not one but a thousand sins4 ,because we have made the ,most ,high our refuge1#di let no evil come near to hurt us4 8,save us1 ,o ,lord1 waking1 and keep us while we sleep1 that we may watch with ,christ and rest in peace40 #dh ,psa4 xc4 #di ,psa4 xc4 ,,xvi4 ,,privileged4 ,my lots are in ,thy hands4--,psa4 xxx4 #ae4 ,suppose1 my ,god1 ,you had told us that as we know the worth of our soul1 ,you were going to trust us with the choice of the means by which its salvation is to be worked out2 ,you were going to put before us riches and poverty1 sickness and health1 success and failure1 a long life and a short one1 and we might take which seemed best for us4 ,should we be content8 ,should we not say1 if we were wise3 8,my ,god1 do not trust this to me4 ,i shall choose1 ,i know ,i shall1 what ,i like1 not what is best for me40 ,and suppose ,you were to tell us there were souls to whom ,you would not entrust such a decision4 ,either they were too weak1 or ,you were so anxious to save them that ,you had left the choice of means1 not to themselves1 but to those who love them better than they love themselves1 and who would choose for them more wisely--to their guardian angel1 to their patron saint1 even to the ,seat of ,wisdom herself--and if we wished ,you would let us be one of those favoured souls4 ,should we be content then8 ,or should we say3 8,my ,god1 forgive me for being mistrustful still4 ,i know my guardian angel and my holy patrons1 and most of all my ,mother ,mary1 love me dearly and would do their best for me40 ,but their wisdom after all is not infinite4 ,they might make a mistake1 and that mistake might mean the loss of everything to me4 ,i cannot afford any risk here4 ,my soul is my only one2 ,i must save it whatever happens4 ,i dare not keep it in my own hands1 and ,i dare not trust it even to the highest and holiest and wisest of those around ,your throne4 ,and suppose once again ,you were to say to us3 8,there are a few1 a very few1 whose salvation is so dear to ,me that ,i will trust the choice of means to no one4 ,i will plan and arrange all ,myself4 ,nothing shall happen to them but what has been foreseen and prepared from all eternity by ,my ,infinite ,wisdom and ,goodness4 ,no one shall touch them2 no joy nor sorrow shall come in their way--no1 nor a hair of their head fall to the ground without ,my knowledge and permission40 ,should we not cry out3 8,my ,god--,i hardly dare to ask it2 but1 oh1 that ,i might be one of that happy chosen few1 for surely they are safe60 ,you check me by a warning3 8,these souls will not have all their own way in life4 ,their road will sometimes be hard and rugged4 ,they will see things prosper in the hands of others and fail in theirs4 ,they will be hardly used by those around them--misjudged1 set aside1 unjustly treated2 life to many of them will be uphill work40 ,do ,i draw back now1 or do ,i cry out again3 8,no matter that1 oh1 no matter that at all6 ,what will they care when they know ,your arm is round them as they go uphill2 ,your hand sends the cross and the failure and the pain6 ,no1 my ,god1 that does not frighten me4 ,let me only be one of those whose lot is altogether in ,your hands1 and ,i will fear nothing2 ,i will complain of nothing2 nay1 ,i will be grateful for all that comes to me4 ,i will kiss ,your hand even when ,you strike me4 ,i shall feel peaceful and happy always in the thought that it is the wisdom of my ,god that orders all for me1 and the love of my heavenly ,father that provides everything to help me4 ,let me be one of those chosen ones1 and ,you will see how ,i value my privilege1 how ,i prize whatever ,you send40 99 99 99 99 99 ,suppose--,i have been saying4 ,but this is no supposition4 ,i am that privileged one whose life in its minutest details is ,your ordering and ,your care4 ,how can ,i complain1 my ,god6 ,how can ,i be mistrustful or even anxious--8,my lots are in ,thy hands04 ,,xvii4 ,,the ,,improvidence ,,of ,,love4 ,my thoughts are not your thoughts1 nor your ways ,my ways1 saith the ,lord4--,isa4 lv4 #h4 ,how often ,i kneel here before the tabernacle and make my genuflection and my act of faith without realising in the very least what ,i believe1 what ,i adore4 ,how little ,i heed that where ,i stand is holy ground4 ,that a few paces from me lies the most mysterious of all mysteries1 8the mystery of faith10 the mystery of love--love that with infinite wisdom and infinite power at its service has here reached its limits1 has found bounds which ,god ,himself cannot overpass4 ,and yet is the ,eucharist after all the greatest of mysteries8 ,has it not its source in a deeper mystery still8 ,is anything wonderful after the ,incarnation8 ,does not the marvel of ,god made ,man outstrip all other marvels8 ,if the ,creator out of love for man must needs annihilate ,himself so far as to assume a created nature1 where will such love stop8 ,into what further extravagances of love will it not be betrayed8 ,but how was it1 my ,god1 that ,your infinite wisdom did not fear the consequences of such prodigality2 did not remember who those are with whom ,you have to deal2 did not consider that too great lavishness blunts the edge of our appreciation and our gratitude8 ,had ,you taken counsel of us1 ,o loving ,lord1 we should have bid ,you in the very interests of love not to overdo its manifestation1 not to make ,yourself too easy of access1 lest familiarity should endanger reverence4 ,daily ,communion2 the easy1 easy conditions on which ,you come to us2 the tarrying day and night in every church throughout the world--this we should have said would bring about a contempt of these sacred mysteries and deprive ,you of the love which is the end of their institution4 ,you would have had to own to the justice of our remonstrance1 to acknowledge that such fears were well grounded4 ,it was not safe to ask counsel--except of ,your own ,heart4 8,who hath known the mind of the ,lord8 and who hath been ,his counsellor80#ej ,only ,his ,heart4 ,o ,sacred ,heart1 how sadly ,you have laid ,him open to every sort of indignity--to indifference1 coldness1 outrage1 sacrilege4 ,yet1 in spite of all1 this ,gift of ,god is without repentance1#ea 8for ,my thoughts are not your thoughts1 nor your ways ,my ways1 saith the ,lord04 #ej ,isa4 xl4 #ea ,rom4 xi4 ,,xviii4 ,,changes4 ,behold1 ,i make all things new6--,apoc4 xxi4 #e4 ,how easily changes come about under ,your hand1 ,o ,lord6 ,noiselessly1 almost unnoticed1 every hour of the day and night1 all the world over1 the most stupendous change is taking place--the change of the lowly substance of bread into ,your ,sacred ,body1 of wine into ,your ,precious ,blood4 ,so is it in the world of souls4 ,the most marvellous transformations cost ,you but a word4 ,follow ,me6 ,and instantly apostle after apostle leaves all and follows ,you--mind1 heart1 views1 ambitions1 the whole aspect of life changed4 ,saul1 ,saul1 why persecutest thou ,me8 ,and he who had 8beyond measure persecuted the ,church of ,god0#eb rises to his feet ready to carry the name of ,jesus 8before the ,gentiles1 and kings1 and the children of ,israel04#ec ,with a word ,you can change me4 ,the apathy for spiritual things would go--the dulness of sight1 the slowness of heart1 the low aims1 the weak desires1 the feebleness in the conflict with self1 the niggardliness in ,your service--all these would go4 ,you could draw me within ,your attraction2 ,you could make me follow ,you1 not simply through duty or interest1 but with the quick step of one to whom ,your service is the absorbing interest of life4 ,you could make ,yourself so much the need of my soul that it would turn to ,you as the flowers to the sun for warmth and colour1 for growth1 for beauty1 for its very life4 ,with a word ,you could work a change such as this4 ,and what is there to hinder it8 ,you are there in the tabernacle1 ,o ,sun of ,justice1 near enough to warm me through and through with ,your heat2 and oh1 how often1 did ,i only desire it1 ,you would come still nearer1 entering my very heart to make it live by ,you6 ,say the word that ,you desire to say more than ,i to hear4 ,speak1 ,lord1 for ,thy servant heareth4 ,say the transforming word each morning over my heart when ,you stand at the altar and say it over the bread and wine4 ,say the word that will change the lowliest1 the vilest thing of earth into ,yourself4 ,see my heart1 see the hearts of all ,i love upon the paten1 awaiting there ,your creative word4 ,change them from what they are to what ,you would have them be4 #eb ,gal4 i4 #ec ,acts ix4 ,,xix4 ,i ,,have ,,somewhat ,,to ,,say ,,to ,,thee4 --,luke vii4 #dj4 ,a word to me8 a word for me apart ,no other ear to hearken--heart to heart8 ,a word ,thy hidden pleasure to impart8 ,o ,master1 say it6 ,is it a word of love1 entreating mine-- ,poor recompense indeed for love divine1 ,yet precious to that human ,heart of ,thine8 ,dear ,master1 say it6 ,a word of blame8 ,lord1 ,i deserve it--nay1 ,no word of ,thine can ,i deserve--yet may ,i know what chiding love would have ,thee say8 ,o ,master1 say it6 ,a word to cast aside my craven fears1 ,and bravely bear the cross these many years ,dragged after ,thee with protest and with tears8 ,o ,master1 say it6 ,perchance a dreaded word1 not once or twice1 ,but often suing for a gift of price2 ,can ,i invite that call to sacrifice8 ,yes1 ,master1 say it6 ,a word from ,thee the rightful course will trace1 ,a word from ,thee the shrinking spirit brace1 ,a word from ,thee bestow all needful grace1 ,o ,master1 say it6 ,no word of ,thine but gives before it takes1 ,and taking1 generous compensation makes1 ,and effort asking1 energy awakes1 ,o ,master1 say it6 ,a warning maybe--frighted love's disguise1 ,how stern soe'er in seeming1 kindly wise1 ,unveiling danger to unwary eyes8 ,o ,master1 say it6 ,thy voice is ever music to mine ear1 ,silence alone o'erwhelms my soul with fear ,say all1 say freely what ,i crave to hear1 ,o ,master1 say it6 ,one tender word to ,thomas brought belief1 ,one pitying word1 a kingdom to a thief1 ,one only word would bring my soul relief1 ,o ,master1 say it6 ,new shape would aims1 desires1 affections take1 ,new power of sacrifice within me wake1 ,new need of toil and suffering for ,thy sake1 ,o ,master1 say it6 ,one word1 ,i know1 ,thou hast for me--a word ,in the still hours of prayer how often heard1 ,not long1 perchance1 its welcome sound deferred1 ,o ,master1 say it6 ,word life's incessant prayer must wrest from ,thee2 ,word holding my eternal destiny1 ,word ,i must hear or perish utterly1 ,o ,master1 say it6 ,when past my little day of time and grace1 ,lone in another world ,i seek my place1 ,and trembling fall before ,thy unveiled ,face1 ,dear ,master1 say it6 ,come6--blest recall from exile's weary years1 ,rest from the awful strife 'twixt hopes and fears1 ,sweet word of welcome after toil and tears1 ,o ,master1 say it6 ,though silent now1 keep ,thou that word in store1 ,the word to make me ,thine for evermore2 ,by all ,thy loving-kindness1 ,i implore1 ,dear ,master1 say it6 ,,xx4 ,a ,,divine ,,plaint4 ,my people have done two evils4 ,they have forsaken ,me1 the fountain of living water1 and have digged to themselves cisterns1 broken cisterns1 that can hold no water4--,jer4 ii4 #ac4 ,what heart so hard but could find a motive for contrition in this tender reproach6 ,no question here of the ,divine majesty outraged1 the ,divine rights infringed4 ,the harm to ourselves--this is the evil we have done by forsaking ,god4 ,and ,he stands sadly by1 watching our futile efforts to fill with earth's sorry pleasures the hearts created for ,himself4 ,the plaint is echoed by the ,incarnate ,son4 8,you will not come to ,me that you may have life40#ed ,and echoed not once1 nor from ,jerusalem only1 but through all time and from the countless tabernacles where the ,eucharistic ,life is being lived for us4 ,how is it that that cry does not arrest us as we go heedlessly on our way8 ,what a difference it would make to our round of daily toil and worries and anxieties if we carried away oftener from the altar the ,life ,who is waiting there to give ,himself to us4 ,he would not encroach upon our time4 ,he is the most considerate of guests1 and knows we are no more able to lay aside our domestic cares than was ,his own blessed ,mother in her little cave-home at ,nazareth4 ,he would not interfere with our projects1 our occupations1 our amusements even4 ,but ,he would act the part of a helpmate throughout1 guiding our plans1 sanctifying our work1 ennobling our pleasures--above all1 sharing and soothing our sorrows4 ,is an ally such as this so easily found that we can afford to turn a deaf ear to the invitation from the tabernacle3 8,whom seekest thou--a friend8 ,i am ,he40 99 99 99 99 99 ,o ,loving ,one1 who are we that ,you should so earnestly entreat our friendship8 ,have ,you not thronging about ,you legions upon legions of angels8 ,what need can ,you have of us8 ,yet ,you not only tolerate our society but beg for it4 ,the little troublesome children whom strangers find a nuisance are a solace to the father1 who feels something to be missing unless he has them pressing and chattering all about him4 ,so is it with ,you4 ,to satisfy ,your ,heart ,you must have us1 needy and clamorous1 all about ,you1 besetting ,you on every side4 ,lord1 had we always treated ,you as ,you deserve1 could ,you be more in love with our company8 ,surely ,your eagerness should drive away fear that our uncouthness and coldness will disgust ,you4 ,love 8is patient1 is kind1 444 beareth all things1 444 hopeth all things1 endureth all things40#ee ,o ,lord and ,lover1 we will not disappoint ,you4 ,since ,you are content to have us as we are1 we will draw near to ,you without fear3 8,behold we come to ,thee2 for ,thou art the ,lord our ,god04#ef #ed ,john v4 #ee #a ,cor4 xiii4 #ef ,jer4 iii4 ,,xxi4 ,,thanksgiving4 ,and he fell on his face before ,his feet1 giving thanks4--,luke xvii4 #af4 ,just as ,i do to-day1 dear ,lord1 in the fulness of my heart1 in the first transport of joy and praise and gratitude that comes with the sense of answered prayer4 ,my happiness is all from ,you4 ,in all that has happened ,i trace the workings of ,your hand1 and see how it has moved all secondary causes1 and ordered all things sweetly4 8,thou1 ,o my ,god1 hast made me joyful with great joy40#eg 8,blessed be the ,lord ,god this day40#eh 8,we bless ,thee1 ,o ,lord ,god1 because it hath not happened as we suspected4 ,for ,thou hast shewn ,thy mercy to us1 and ,thou hast taken pity40#ei 8,bless the ,lord1 ,o my soul1 and let all that is within me bless ,his holy name4 ,bless the ,lord1 ,o my soul1 and never forget all ,he hath done for thee4444 ,who satisfieth thy desire with good things4444 ,the ,lord is compassionate and merciful4444 ,he hath not dealt with us according to our sins4444 ,the mercy of the ,lord is from eternity and unto eternity upon them that fear ,him40#fj 8,give glory to the ,lord1 for ,he is good3 for ,his mercy endureth for ever4 ,let them say so that have been redeemed by the ,lord1 whom ,he hath redeemed from the hand of the enemy4444 ,they cried to the ,lord in their tribulation1 and ,he delivered them out of their distresses4444 ,let the mercies of the ,lord give glory to ,him and ,his wonderful works to the children of men4 ,for ,he hath satisfied the empty soul1 and hath filled the hungry soul with good things40#fa 8,praise ye the ,lord1 for the ,lord is good2 sing ye to ,his name1 for it is sweet40#fb 8,who healeth the broken of heart1 and bindeth up their bruises40#fc 8,the ,lord hath granted me my petition which ,i asked of ,him40#fd 8,blessed be ,god1 ,who hath not turned away my prayer1 nor ,his mercy from me40#fe 8,o ,lord our ,god1 all this store 444 is from ,thy hand40#ff 8,o ,lord1 there is none like ,thee40#fg 99 99 99 99 99 ,he fell on his face before ,his feet giving thanks4 ,the right place1 the right posture for thanksgiving4 ,my whole self1 body and soul1 seeks to pour itself out in praise4 ,and yet1 my ,god1 when do we feel ourselves more helpless1 more bound in by our narrowness than when we come to thanksgiving6 ,our heart is freer on the path of sorrow than on that of joy4 ,it knows its way better4 ,it can go further4 ,there are novenas of ,ten ,fridays1 ,masses and ,communions1 year after year of persistent prayer4 ,but when the answer comes at last2 when suddenly the burden is lifted2 when the thrill of gladness and the stillness of peace succeed one another in sweet alternations within the soul--how poor1 how soon ended is our ,te ,deum6 ,a rush to ,your feet--a few tears perhaps--a few broken words of gratitude1 and--our heart fails us4 ,in vain do we lift it up in ,david's heart1 that censor of glorious praise4 ,there weighs upon it still the stifling sense of oppression4 ,we can but sink back in our helplessness and long for the full freedom of all our powers that is to come4 ,oh yes1 the soul never feels so powerless1 so imprisoned as when the call upon it is for thanksgiving4 ,it is a caged bird always1 but it never beats more hopelessly against the bars than when it would soar upward in the free flight of praise4 ,it is then we turn to our ,god with us on the altar1 to the ,victim of infinite worth placed at our disposal to be offered to ,god as a full1 worthy1 adequate return for all ,his goodness to us4 8,what shall ,i render to the ,lord for all ,he hath rendered unto me80 ,i will come to the altar of ,god to unite my thanksgiving and my praise with the divine gratitude of the ,god-,man4 ,i will offer with ,him ,his sacrifice and mine1 a gift of infinite value from my grateful heart4 ,i will receive into my poor heart1 whose powers1 stretched to their utmost1 fall infinitely short of what is due to ,him1 the ,heart of the ,man-,god4 99 99 99 99 99 ,my ,god1 ,i rejoice beyond measure that in ,mass and ,holy ,communion ,i can offer ,you a thanksgiving that is adequate because infinite1 a thanksgiving worthy of ,your acceptance4 ,look not on the poverty of my praise1 but 8look upon the ,face of ,thy ,christ04#fh ,per ,ipsum1 et cum ,ipso1 et in ,ipso 444 omnis honor et gloria4 ,amen4 #eg ,cf4 #b ,esdras xii4 #eh #a ,kings v4 #ei ,tobias viii4 #fj ,psa4 cii4 #fa ,ibid4 cvi4 #fb ,psa4 cxxxiv4 #fc ,ibid4 cxlvi4 #fd #a ,kings i4 #fe ,psa4 lxv4 #ff #a ,par4 xxix4 #fg ,ibid4 xvii4 #fh ,psa4 lxxxiii4 ,,xxii4 ,,darkness4 ,my ,god1 ,my ,god1 why hast ,thou forsaken ,me8--,matt4 xxvii4 #df4 ,my ,god6 as if ,you belonged to no one else in the wide world4 ,as if ,you and ,i were alone in creation4 ,as if neither in heaven above nor in the earth beneath1 nor in the waters under the earth1 ,you had a single other creature6 ,my ,god6 as if for me alone you had done all in the orders of nature1 grace1 and glory2 working for me from the beginning1 through all causes1 by all creatures1 in all events4 ,as if for me alone were the earth and the sea and all within them4 ,for me all the ordering of ,your ,providence in the affairs of time4 ,for me the heaven of heavens and all the concourse there4 ,for me the ,saints and ,mary2 the ,incarnation1 the ,life1 and death1 and teaching of ,christ2 the ,church and ,sacraments2 the ,eucharist1 and ,mass1 and ,communion4 ,for me life everlasting and the ,blessed ,vision of ,yourself4 ,my ,god6 for ,whom ,i am made4 ,without ,whom happiness for me were the wildest of impossibilities4 ,the ,supreme ,good able to satisfy to the full every want of my complex nature4 ,infinite ,goodness providing for all and for each with an exquisite discrimination of my need4 ,my ,god6 in a sense known to myself and ,you alone--father1 mother1 sister1 brother1 lover1 friend--all in all to me4 ,my ,god6 as if ,you belonged to me rather than to ,yourself2 belonged to me rather than ,i to ,you4 ,as if ,you were for my sake rather than ,i for ,yours4 ,or at least as if we so belonged to one another as of necessity to imply and supplement each other--as hill and valley1 light and shade1 the ocean and the void it fills4 99 99 99 99 99 ,my ,god1 my ,god1 why hast ,thou forsaken me8 ,why this darkness in which ,i grope for ,you in vain1 in which ,i seek in vain to find ,your ,face8 ,why these nameless fears1 this dread of ,you1 this shrinking from ,you8 ,or1 harder still to bear1 this heaviness of soul1 this hardness of heart1 this weariness of ,you1 my ,god1 this restlessness in ,your presence1 this impatience of ,your ways--why all this inconsistency and perversity8 ,why1 ,o ,supreme ,good1 do ,you show ,yourself to me as infinitely desirable1 only to elude my grasp when ,i stretch out my hands to feel for ,you and draw ,you to myself8 ,why do ,you brush past me in the darkness to leave me all the more desolate and disconsolate because ,you were so near8 ,why are ,you deaf when ,i cry8 ,why1 here in this tabernacle1 are ,you so near and yet so far away8 ,why do ,you make it more and more impossible for me to find rest out of ,you1 and then deny ,yourself to my soul8 ,why have ,you sought for me so persistently when ,i fled from ,you1 to hide from me now that ,i seek ,you8 ,my ,god1 my ,god1 why hast ,thou forsaken me8 ,is ,your answer to me this--that ,i have forsaken ,you first8 ,is the hiding of ,your ,face the just punishment of wilful deafness to ,your voice and resistance to ,your leading8 ,are ,you waiting for some act of mine as the price of ,your turning to me8 ,is it pride or any other passion that interposes as a cloud between us8 ,what is it1 my ,god8 ,take it away at any cost4 ,i am sorry for my insincerity2 for all meanness in my dealings with ,you2 for all wilful blindness and deafness2 for the cowardice that fears to see what will call for effort and for sacrifice4 ,if conscience does not reproach me1 ,i am not hereby justified1 because ,your all-seeing eye may note1 does note what escapes mine4 ,i own to whatever ,you see that is amiss4 ,i am perfectly conscious that there is more--oh1 a thousand times more than enough to make ,you turn away ,your ,face and forsake me utterly4 ,show me what ,you will have me see1 that ,i may amend it1 and bear with what ,you dare not show me1 lest ,i should be utterly cast down and despair4 ,my ,god1 ,my ,god1 why hast ,thou forsaken ,me6 ,you have taught me by ,your own meek complaint that ,i too may complain lovingly4 ,i look up through the darkness of ,calvary4 ,i hear above me that cry from ,your own lips1 and ,i am instructed and comforted4 ,if the well-beloved ,son for bearing the appearance of sin was thus shut out from the ,father's ,face1 how shall a sinner complain8 ,if this was done in the green wood1 what shall be done in the dry8 ,and if all through the blackness of that desolation ,he remained still the well-beloved ,son1 so may the weakest of ,his brethren1 so may ,i remain--dear to the ,father's ,heart through all the discipline of chastisement1 through all the needful purification of my imperfect love4 ,in the very midnight of ,his dereliction ,he called on the ,father1 clung to the ,father1 threw ,himself on the ,father with absolute trust4 ,so may ,i1 so must ,i1 in the darkness that is but the faintest shadow of ,his4 ,father1 into ,thy hands ,i commend my spirit--for this trial1 for every trial1 for the last trial1 when the shadow of death will close round me1 and it will be hard to find ,your ,face4 ,into the hands that created me1 that redeemed me1 into which ,i shall pass at the moment of death1 ,father1 into ,thy hands ,i commend my spirit4 8,my ,god1 ,my ,god60--into the night went forth ,that lonely cry1 ,piteous as never plaint from burdened breast ,its misery4 ,went forth for me into the night1 that wail ,of woe divine2 ,his bitter dereliction bared1 to draw ,the sting from mine4 ,and yet another cry ere shades of death ,around ,him stole1 ,revealed the sanctuary dark and lone ,of ,jesu's soul3 8,father1 into ,thy hands0--a ,son's bequest1 ,that we might know ,the filial1 all unshaken trust1 beneath ,that depth of woe4 8,father1 into ,thy hands0--that we might learn ,since ,jesus died ,theirs first the right to claim the ,father's love1 ,his crucified4 ,,xxiii4 8,,what ,,is ,,truth80 --,john xviii4 #ch4 8,pilate saith to ,him3 ,what is truth8 ,and when he said this he went out40 ,too often1 ,o ,lord1 in my dealings with ,you ,i am like ,pilate4 ,moved by ,your grace to desire the things that are for my peace1 ,i come to ,you to know my way3 8,what shall ,i do to possess everlasting life80#fi 8,make the way known to me1 wherein ,i should walk40#gj 8,teach me to do ,thy will1 for ,thou art my ,god40#ga ,and when ,i have said this ,i go out4 ,i do not wait to hear an answer which may exact more of me than ,i am prepared to give4 ,i am afraid to remain in ,your ,presence1 lest ,you should beckon whither ,i am not willing to follow4 ,and so ,i ask lightly3 8,what is truth80 without waiting to hear what the ,lord my ,god will speak in me4#gb ,how much more readily ,i pray for light than for strength4 8,lord1 that ,i may see60 ,and when the scales begin to fall from my eyes1 ,i turn away lest ,i should find what ,i am seeking4 ,it is not ,your way1 ,o ,lord1 to constrain our free will4 ,you meet us half-way1 more than half-way by a great deal4 ,but ,you have decreed that further and more abundant grace1 the grace that is efficacious1 shall be the reward of correspondence4 ,if we withhold this1 we enter upon a terrible contest between ,your invitation on the one hand and the shrinking of nature on the other4 8,pilate saith to ,him3 ,what is truth8 ,and when he had said this he went out again to the ,jews and said to them3 ,i find no cause in ,him4444 ,then ,pilate took ,jesus and scourged ,him4444 ,and went forth again and saith to the ,jews3 ,behold ,i bring ,him forth unto you that you may know that ,i find no cause in ,him4444 ,take ,him you and crucify ,him for ,i find no cause in ,him4444 ,the ,jews answered3 ,he ought to die because ,he made ,himself the ,son of ,god4 ,when ,pilate therefore had heard this saying he feared the more4 ,and he entered into the hall again and said to ,jesus3 ,whence art ,thou8 ,but ,jesus gave him no answer4 ,from thenceforth ,pilate sought to release ,him4444 ,and he saith to the ,jews3 ,behold your ,king4444 ,then he delivered ,him to them to be crucified40 99 99 99 99 99 ,oh1 the agony of mind1 the risk1 the misery we bring upon ourselves by our vacillations and trifling with grace6 ,surely the remedy is to gain by prayer strength proportioned to the light ,god gives4 ,it is as easy for ,him to give the one as the other1 for 8there is none strong like our ,god04#gc ,but ,i must ask1 for 8strength cometh from ,heaven04#gd 8,ask and it shall be given to you40 8,god is my strong ,one1 in ,him will ,i trust 444 my rock1 and my strength1 and my ,saviour40#ge ,he will not leave me in my weakness4 ,if ,he shows me ,his ways1 ,he will give me strength to walk in them4 8,my ,god is made my strength40#gf #fi ,luke xviii4 #gj ,psa4 cxlii4 #ga ,ibid4 #gb ,psa4 lxxxiv4 #gc #a ,kings ii4 #gd #a ,mach4 iii4 #ge #b ,kings xxii4 #gf ,isa4 xlix4 ,,xxiv4 ,,his ,,second ,,coming4 ,they shall see the ,son of ,man coming in the clouds of heaven 444 and then shall all the tribes of the earth mourn4--,matt4 xxiv4 #cj4 ,dearest ,lord1 is there a sadder word than this in the whole of the written ,word8 ,did a sadder ever fall from ,your sacred lips8 ,that when ,you come again to finish the work of redemption by the destruction of the last enemy1 death2 to gather to ,yourself those for whose salvation ,you came down from heaven1 and were incarnate1 and suffered1 and died1 and founded ,your ,church1 and gave ,your sacraments2 those whom ,you bade to watch and wait for ,you and lift up their heads at ,your coming2 that when at last ,you come1 this shall be ,your reception--8then shall all the tribes of the earth mourn06 ,what an awful testimony to the decay of truth among the children of men1 to the unchristianising of the world6 8,all the tribes of the earth10 as if the elect would be but as the ears of corn left on the field after the harvesting4 ,o ,messiah1 so long promised1 so earnestly expected--is this the return of those to whom ,you were sent1 among whom ,you have lived as one of themselves1 for whom ,you have sacrificed everything ,you took from our nature8 8,they shall see the ,son of ,man coming0--not now in the midnight silence as once to ,mary1 not hidden under lowly accidents as through long centuries upon the altar1 but 8in great power and majesty10 8the ,king in ,his beauty10 revealed to every eye4 8,and then shall all the tribes of the earth mourn40 99 99 99 99 99 ,the awfulness of these words must have struck the ,twelve as they sat about ,your feet that day on ,olivet looking down upon ,josaphat1 for ,john re-echoed them from ,patmos half a century later3 8,behold1 ,he cometh with the clouds1 and every eye shall see ,him4444 ,and all the tribes of the earth shall bewail themselves because of ,him40#gg ,how our hearts would sink within us were it not for those other words equally with these the words of truth3 8,he shall send ,his angels to gather together ,his elect from the four winds1 from the uttermost part of the earth1 to the uttermost part of heaven40#gh ,from every corner of the earth will those blessed ones come trooping in--8a great multitude1 which no man can number1 of all nations1 and tribes1 and peoples1 and tongues04#gi ,lord ,jesus6 ,who would not desire with desire to be one of that great multitude1 were it only to console ,your ,heart for the losses of that day6 ,let this happiness be mine1 and that of as many as can be reached by the utmost stretching of ,your mercy1 the fullest and farthest flowing of ,your precious ,blood6 ,quaerens me sedisti lassus1 ,redemisti crucem passus3 ,tantus labor non sit cassus4 ,have mercy1 ,o ,lord1 on all the tribes of earth1 that they may not perish1 nor bewail themselves because of ,you when ,you come to judgment4 ,have mercy1 that when the day of the ,lord1 that dreadful day shall come1 the number of the elect may be multiplied1 and the thirst of ,your ,heart appeased4 #gg ,apoc4 i4 #gh ,mark xiii4 #gi ,apoc4 vii4 ,,xxv4 ,,our ,,earth4 ,coeli enarrant gloriam ,dei4--,psa4 xviii4 #a4 ,the heavens declare the glory of ,god4 ,there are hours when the grandeur of the midnight skies draws from our hearts3 8,coeli enarrant10 and conversely3 8,quam sordet tellus60 8,how vile earth appears when ,i look up to heaven60#hj ,when we would wish to be so far away from earth1 so near to ,god1 that we could cover it with our two hands and shut it out with all its sinfulness from ,his sight4 ,and there are hours when we re-echo ,david's other cry3 8,the earth is the ,lord's40#ha ,studded with millions of stars--its sanctuary lamps--here in grand constellations1 there in solitary beauty amid the darkness1 it lies outstretched before its ,creator1 a very heaven4 ,yes1 speck as it is in creation1 our world has a beauty all its own in the eyes of ,him ,who made it4 8,there is not found the like to it in glory40 ,marred and sin-stained1 it is still the dear world of the ,incarnation1 the world ,god so loved as to give to it ,his ,son4 ,its highways1 its fields1 its waters have felt the tread of ,his feet2 to the end of time ,he has made it ,his home4 8,i have chosen and have sanctified this place1 and ,my eyes and ,my heart shall be there always40#hb ,always4 ,his interest in it is as keen1 as human1 as when1 a wayfarer here1 ,he shared its joys and sorrows4 ,its every man1 woman1 and child to-day has a distinct place in ,his heart4 ,his sacramental ,presence sanctifies it from pole to pole4 ,on each of its altars a divine sacrifice is offered day by day4 ,in each of its tabernacles is gathered up the worship of all creation4 ,from each an unceasing praise goes up to the ,throne of ,god1 infinitely transcending the paltry outrages of man4 ,from each radiates a divine life1 communicating itself to all the members of the ,body of ,christ4 ,from each as from a well-spring go forth all graces of light and strength2 all holy impulses and high resolves2 all courage1 steadfastness1 perseverance in well-doing2 all works of love to the members1 born of love to the ,head4 ,all spiritual energy1 from the robust virtue of the saint to the weakest supernatural act of the repentant sinner1 is flowing this hour from earth's countless tabernacles1 giving to ,god a glory before which the material glory of the starry heavens pales into insignificance4 ,o hidden ,god1 ,i adore ,you as the source of all this glorious life4 ,who would not love the world1 which ,you have so loved as to make it ,your home all days even to the end of time8 ,who would not strive with ,you and for ,your sake to light up its dark places1 to cleanse its foul places1 to spread far and near the saving knowledge of its ,redeemer1 that so the love poured out upon it1 the ,blood shed for it1 may not have been in vain8 ,what can ,i do1 ,o ,lord1 within my narrow sphere to help on the coming of ,your ,kingdom in the world8 ,what have ,you given me to give away again in ,your service8 ,as to what do ,you say to me3 8,freely have you received1 freely give08#hc ,is it health1 wealth1 talent1 influence1 leisure for good works in any of the various fields calling for my aid and open to me8 ,is it devotedness and self-sacrifice in the apostolate of home life8 ,or is it the noblest and most far-reaching of works for ,god1 the training of young souls in ,his love and service8 ,am ,i doing good work for ,you in my allotted sphere8 ,what account am ,i preparing to give ,you of the talents entrusted to me8 ,how could ,i bear it1 ,o my ,lord1 should ,you ever have to reproach me1 as 8an evil and slothful servant10 with hiding the talent given me for ,your service8 ,what am ,i doing with my life1 with its energies1 its opportunities1 its responsibilities1 its graces8 ,where are the souls ,i am helping to save8 ,where is the lot ,i am brightening1 the cross ,i am lightening for ,your dear sake8 ,in what direction am ,i furthering ,your interests and sacrificing self to ,your glory8 ,unless ,i can lay my hands in ,yours1 and look up trustfully into ,your ,face with 8,lord1 ,thou knowest0 my daily prayer1 8,thy ,kingdom come0 is a mockery1 a self-delusion1 a sham4 #hj ,st4 ,ignatius4 #ha ,psa4 xxiv4 #hb #b ,par4 vii4 #hc ,matt4 x4 ,,xxvi4 ,,christ ,,our ,,study4 ,you have not so learned ,christ4--,ephes4 iv4 #bj4 ,it behoves us to have right conceptions of the great spiritual realities which affect our life here and our destiny hereafter4 ,above all must we learn aright ,him ,who is the ,way1 the ,truth1 and the ,life4 ,gradually1 from our earliest childhood1 the idea of ,christ has been forming1 developing1 taking definite shape in our minds4 ,may-be it is stereotyped by this time4 ,it is all-imperative for us that the ,christ we have so conceived should be the true ,christ--8the ,christ1 the ,son of the ,living ,god04 ,tout sort des ides4 ,our idea of ,him will not affect ,himself or alter our fundamental relations with ,him1 but it will affect the whole moulding of our spiritual life1 our whole character1 our every thought1 word and deed here1 and our whole eternity hereafter4 ,surely1 then1 we must examine our impression of ,christ1 and should we find that the influence of early education1 of a false creed1 of unwholesome reading or association1 or the trend of our character has distorted in our minds the true ,christ as reflected in the ,gospels1 we must at all costs correct that impression4 ,if it has become stereotyped we must break up our mould and start our work afresh4 ,meditation upon the ,gospels2 the quiet1 steady gaze of the inward eye on ,christ2 the study of ,him day after day under all circumstances and amid ever shifting scenes1 and not of ,his outward bearing1 ,his words and actions only1 but of the ,heart from which these spring--thus it was that the saints built up ,his image in their souls1 a true living image which transformed them into the likeness of itself1 and became a power within them1 drawing all things to ,him ,who was to them all in all4 ,you have not so learned ,christ4 ,if ,christ our ,lord has not as yet drawn me wholly to ,himself1 it is because my conception of ,him is faulty4 ,whether this is the result of simple carelessness which has allowed ,his image in my mind to take shape anyhow1 or of ,jansenistic habits of thought that have fashioned for me a ,lord stern1 exacting1 repellent1 a very caricature of the ,christ of the ,gospels1 ,christ our ,lord2 or whether it is my own character1 timorous1 suspicious1 selfish1 unsympathising1 that has inspired my present idea of ,him--from whatever source the misconception has come1 it must be set right1 or its results will be simply fatal--fatal to the growth of anything like personal love and familiar friendship with ,him2 fatal to ,his influence on my life1 my actions1 my work for ,him in the souls of others4 ,not any ,christ1 the creature of my own distorted fancy1 but ,him ,whom the ,father has sent1 ,i am to fall down and worship4 ,he alone has power as ,he alone has right to occupy and absorb my whole interest1 my whole affection1 my whole self4 ,he alone can be a living influence radiating from my own life to the lives of others4 99 99 99 99 99 ,o ,christ my ,lord1 give me so to know ,you that my knowledge may be glory to ,you1 and life to my own soul and the souls of others4 8,this is eternal life3 that they may know ,thee1 the only true ,god1 and ,jesus ,christ1 ,whom ,thou hast sent40#hd ,be ,yourself my ,master in this one thing necessary4 ,and let me go to the source to draw--learning ,you from the scenes of ,your life4 ,let me stand by the well of ,samaria1 and the pool of ,bethsaida1 and the bier at ,nain--and watch and listen4 ,let the charm of ,your divine ,person subdue and win me1 and the sound of ,your voice be familiar to me4 ,let the knowledge of ,your ways with the sinner1 the sufferer1 the little children1 grave such a picture of ,you in my heart that not even its perversity can bring before me when ,i say 8,jesus0 any other form than that of the most beautiful1 the most tender1 the most compassionate of men4 ,veronica wiped ,your sacred suffering ,face1 and received as the greatest of rewards1 stamped on her veil1 and still more upon her heart1 that vera icon--that true image of ,christ which was thenceforth to be inseparable from her memory1 the very name by which all ages were to know her4 ,stamp on my heart1 dear ,lord1 the true likeness of ,yourself4 ,and as this likeness must be ever growing1 let me come often to the altar rails to learn ,you more and more4 ,the tabernacle is the ,gospel history continued4 ,time has not dimmed ,your fairness1 ,o beautiful ,one1 nor dulled the sympathy of ,your human ,heart4 ,all that ,you were to ,your own in this world1 all that ,you are to them this hour in heaven1 is here within the tabernacle1 is here for me4 ,here then let me come to study ,you--patient1 tender1 obedient still1 meek and humble of heart1 ,jesus1 yesterday1 to-day and for ever6 #hd ,john xvii4 ,,xxvii4 ,,our ,,father4 ,o clap your hands1 all ye nations2 shout unto ,god with the voice of joy4--,psa4 xlvi4 #a4 ,my ,god1 what would have become of us had ,you shown ,yourself to us as the ,all-just instead of the ,all-loving ,one ,you are8 ,had ,you been more mindful of ,your ,majesty than of our need8 ,we know so little how to comport ourselves in ,your presence1 that it might have seemed more fitting ,you should remain in the recesses of ,your ,godhead1 manifest ,yourself but dimly and rarely1 and restrict our worship of ,you to the most distant homage4 ,it would have been but the manifestation of another attribute in place of that sweet mercy which has shaped the whole course1 not of redemption's plan only1 but of the inner life of each one of us4 ,my ,god1 it might have been so--and what then would have become of us8 ,where would praise have been1 and trust1 and loving return to ,your arms after a fall8 ,blessed be ,your name that ,you willed to show ,yourself our ,father1 willed that with the younger race1 ,your human family1 mercy should ever be in the ascendant4 8,blessed be ,you for ever1 my ,god1 my ,mercy10#he for having shown ,yourself to our weak sight in this softened light1 the light that begets love--as ,one easily appeased1 as ,one constraining trust1 as ,one with arms widespread to ,your timid children--the ,all-forgiving1 ,all-tender1 ,all-compassionate--our ,father ,who art in heaven4 #he ,cf4 ,psa4 lviii4 ,,xxviii4 ,,hereafter4 ,thou knowest not now1 but thou shalt know hereafter4--,john xiii4 #g4 ,i look forward into the eternal years and see myself at last in my rest on the bosom of ,god4 ,all over6 ,life1 and uncertainty1 and death1 and judgment1 and purgatory4 ,and with my head on the ,heart of ,him ,who has loved me to the end1 ,i look back4 ,how clear everything is from this height1 in this unclouded light and this untroubled peace6 ,all mists swept away2 all doubts dispelled2 all questions set at rest2 all cravings satisfied4 ,thou shalt know hereafter4 ,why that persistent prayer remained unanswered2 why evil prospered and good was overcome2 why in spite of every effort those difficulties remained difficulties to the last--how plain it all is now6 ,i see now the everlasting results of the thoughts1 and words1 and acts that sped so quickly by4 ,i see the distinct work of each in shaping my eternity4 ,i see the relation of grace to glory2 why ,i enjoy the blessed vision of ,god thus far and no farther4 ,where ,i guided my steps by the light of faith1 clung to ,god in the darkness1 8joined myself to ,him and endured0--what fruit of joy for eternity6 ,where there was cowardice1 self-seeking1 above all1 mistrust of ,god--what loss that can never1 never be repaired6 ,oh1 why did ,i not realise that ,i was meant to live by faith during my little life down there1 in order to enjoy the fruits of faith in this real life of eternity6 ,thou knowest not now1 but thou shalt know hereafter4 ,but ,i may know now if ,i pray for light and strength4 ,i may know now the things that are for my peace4 ,i may have now the spiritual insight1 the lumen cordium which the ,holy ,spirit gives to all who ask4 ,lord ,jesus1 here really present1 make me see now by the light of faith what ,i shall see almost directly in the light of eternity2 when ,i look back on life1 and grace1 and sacraments1 and opportunities1 on worldly aims and worldly honours--from my place in heaven4 ,by the tears ,you shed over ,jerusalem that knew not the day of her visitation1 grant that ,i1 that all ,i love1 that all men may know in this our day the things that are for our peace4 ,dawn now--the hours of earth's expectancy1 ,from the grey heaven enough of light to guide ,the wary feet--no more2 enough to trace ,against the sky in outline faint and blurred ,fair forms1 their fairness shrouded for the nonce3 ,in every line of grace and symmetry ,and tender hue to be revealed1 when day ,this hazy scene shall flood with living light1 ,bathing all things in beauty4 ,now we know ,in part1 the noontide comes and we shall see4 ,o restless heart6 resenting mystery1 ,angry with night1 that by ,divine decree ,divides with day the task of perfecting ,god's world of souls--fret not against the gloom ,that1 baffling1 humbles thee4 ,why this reverse1 ,this wrong defeating right1 brave effort crowned ,by failure1 good with itself at variance1 ,thou know'st not now2 now the strong trial of faith1 ,the clinging1 blind with tears1 unto thy ,god ,in patient trust--hereafter thou shalt see4 ,,xxix4 ,,my ,,vineyard4 ,let us see if the vineyard flourish4--,cant4 vii4 #ab4 ,the vivid lightnings of the ,east that reveal in all the brightness of day what lay hidden in darkness1 have their parallel in the flood of light flashed at times upon the soul4 ,without warning1 without apparent cause1 it comes--a momentary brightness1 but lasting in its effects4 ,imagination1 mind1 heart1 all have been steeped in it2 henceforth the truth it has lit up becomes a force to influence our life here and our eternity hereafter4 ,has our responsibility to others been ever thrust upon us in one of these bursts of light8 ,have we realised1 as it were for the first time1 the influence which in ,god's inscrutable designs we have over the destiny of others2 the dread power which wittingly or unwittingly1 for good or for evil1 we are ever exercising over those around us2 the account which will be demanded of such a trust8 ,o ,god1 ,you have given 8to every one of us commandment concerning our neighbour04#hf ,what kind of influence has mine been thus far8 ,at the sixth1 the ninth1 the eleventh hour it was said to me3 8,go you into ,my vineyard04#hg ,what has been the result of that call and of that mission8 ,there has been a corner of that vineyard marked out for me to tend4 ,am ,i labouring in it with earnestness1 with self-sacrifice1 with the purity of intention that overcomes difficulties1 and survives disappointment1 and is undisturbed by failure1 because it looks to ,you alone1 works not for self but for ,your glory8 ,or am ,i slumbering at my post8 ,with what feelings do ,i hear ,you say to me3 8,let us see if the vineyard flourish1 if the flowers be ready to bring forth fruits06#hh ,is it of me ,you say3 8,i passed by the field of the slothful man1 and by the vineyard of the foolish man4 ,and behold it was all filled with nettles1 and thorns had covered the face thereof1 and the stone-wall was broken down08#hi ,must ,i own in my shame1 8,my vineyard ,i have not kept08#ij ,o ,lord of the vineyard1 ,whose love and trust are shown in this1 that ,you have called me to labour for what is dearer to ,you than ,your very life--how have ,i justified ,your trust8 ,do not punish my slothfulness by making over to another's more earnest toil what has been given into my care4 ,but rather stand by and help me to work according to ,your will1 that nothing may perish or suffer loss through fault of mine4 ,help me to watch vigilantly the little plot committed to me2 to cast out carefully all noxious weeds2 to dig1 to prune1 to bind up and strengthen what is weak2 8in solicitude not slothful1 in spirit fervent serving the ,lord04#ia ,then shall my vineyard flourish and bring forth fruit to ,your glory in due season4 #hf ,ecclus4 xvii4 #hg ,matt4 xx4 #hh ,cant4 vii4 #hi ,prov4 xxiv4 #ij ,cant4 i4 #ia ,rom4 xii4 ,,xxx4 ,,where ,,we ,,are ,,true4 ,thou sayest1 ,i am rich1 and made wealthy1 and have need of nothing3 and knowest not1 that thou art wretched1 and miserable1 and poor1 and blind1 and naked4--,apoc4 iii4 #ag4 ,it seems to me1 dear ,lord1 that ,you can hardly reproach me with this4 ,i know but too well how deficient ,i am in humility2 how ,i fire up at even a hint implying blame1 suspicion1 mistrust2 how reluctantly ,i own to those about me that ,i am in the wrong4 ,but alone with ,you1 my inward witness1 it is otherwise4 ,there is no difficulty1 no reluctance here4 ,once in the ,presence ,chamber1 the curtain dropped behind me1 the gaze of creatures turned aside1 ,i am myself1 and true1 without disguise1 feint1 tricking out of any sort4 ,i do not trim my speech1 or tone down my 8,peccavi10 8to make excuses in sins04#ib ,i conceal neither my failings nor my needs4 ,with the privilege of the creature in presence of the ,creator1 ,i lie on my face before ,you just as ,i am1 for ,your eye to see1 ,your ear to hearken to1 ,your ,heart to pity and to bless4 ,how could there be pretence with ,you or affectation8 ,i know and feel that 8,thy eyes are upon me10#ic 8beholding the good and the evil02#id that 8,god ,who seeth all0#ie 8is the weigher of spirits04#if ,before that all-seeing ,eye self-delusion1 conceit1 untruthfulness in every shape must melt away4 ,i cannot indeed know my nothingness and sinfulness as they are known to ,you4 ,i do not fathom one of the thousand motives ,i have for self-abasement in ,your sight4 ,but ,i think my self-knowledge as far as it goes is true4 ,i am ready to see with ,you that ,i am wretched and miserable and poor and blind and naked4 ,i know and feel with the most intimate conviction that in my soul are the seeds of every evil passion2 that they will choke the good seed and ruin me unless ,your power represses them2 that unless ,your ,almighty hand checks the weight of temptation1 my enemy must prevail over me2 that it is owing to ,your goodness ,i have not been tempted as others2 that of myself ,i am nothing but weakness and misery and sin4 ,how it comes to pass that my self-knowledge does not bear better fruit2 that when occasion requires ,i am not more ready to own to what ,i am thus conscious of1 am not more indulgent and compassionate in my judgment of others--,i know not4 ,but ,i thank ,you for what ,you have given2 and ask earnestly for more and stronger light to bring about conformity between my interior conviction and my exterior words and actions4 ,veni1 ,pater pauperum1 ,veni1 ,dator munerum1 ,veni1 ,lumen cordium4 #ib ,psa4 cxl4 #ic ,job vii4 #id ,prov4 xv4 #ie ,ecclus4 vii4 #if ,prov4 xvi4 ,,xxxi4 ,,in ,,silence ,,and ,,in ,,hope4 --,isa4 xxx4 #ae4 ,she came with her crushing memories1 ,she came with her secret fears1 ,she brought ,him her hidden misery ,and her bitter burning tears4 ,and all alone at that cheerless board ,prepared ,him her own sweet feast1 ,offering her heart with her spikenard ,and the kiss that 8never ceased04 ,she marvelled when ,he upbraided ,the cruel thoughts of men1 ,and tears fell fast as ,he lauded her-- ,her1 ,mary ,magdalen4 ,as she marked how ,his ,heart no token ,of her contrite love had missed1 ,the love that had given of its best1 ,anointed1 and washed1 and kissed2 ,and tendered a heart with penitence ,filled to the very brim1 ,and braved the scorn of a carping crowd ,to stake its all on ,him4 ,absorbed in her loving ministries ,she knelt at ,his ,feet apart1 ,the scandal of every eye save one ,that soundeth the secret heart4 ,she knew that her unforgiven past ,lay open to ,his ken1 ,yet no word of supplication ,spake ,mary ,magdalen4 ,love taught a sublimer pleading1 ,elected a better part-- ,calm trust in ,him ,who spurneth not ,the humble contrite heart4 ,from out the fulness of ,his own ,came plenary release3 8,her many sins are pardoned her3 ,arise and go in peace04 ,o ,christ1 ,who that poor sinner's love ,so gloriously hast crowned1 ,that through all time her name with ,thine ,shall through the world resound2 ,who waitest here the penitent1 ,all-pitying now as then1 ,give me the brave1 unfaltering trust ,of ,thy dear ,magdalen4 ,,xxxii4 ,,god',s ,,work4 ,to the ,lord was ,his own work known from the beginning of the world4--,acts xv4 #ah4 ,were ,your work known to us1 my ,god1 as it is to ,you1 how well ordered our minds and hearts1 our views1 affections1 lives would be6 ,how all things would fall into their proper places--events public and private1 every detail of ,your ,providence affecting ourselves and others6 ,our desires especially1 how tranquil1 how subordinated they would be6 ,or1 rather1 would there be any desire save for the furtherance of ,your work by the fulfilment of ,your will8 ,but may not this be our disposition now by means of faith8 ,may we not see in all that happens the action or the permission of ,god1 to ,whom ,his own work is known8 ,a child in the midst of a crowd is conscious of nothing but its immediate surroundings4 ,crushed and stifled1 it can see and feel only the objects actually touching it4 ,but let the father take it up in his arms and hold it aloft--what a difference the elevation will make6 ,i am in a crowd2 in the dark1 with the narrowest views and interests2 knowing but dimly for what we are come together2 finding no meaning often in what is stirring around me4 ,but should ,god deign to raise me to ,his point of view1 what a change would come over me6 ,how differently ,i should look on all things6 ,in all that happens ,i should see the good pleasure or the permission of ,his ,providence3 8reaching from end to end mightily1 and ordering all things sweetly04#ig ,this would not dull my susceptibilities1 nor cramp my desires4 ,far from it6 ,with the widened prospect interests would multiply on every side4 ,but all things would be seen in their true light4 ,in all ,i should recognise the ,divine will unfolding itself in the course of events1 and guiding all things1 undeterred by the action of man's free will1 to its own predetermined ends4 ,in a deadly contest involving my country's honour and welfare1 my patriotism would run high4 ,but too violent regrets at the reverses of our arms1 too vehement anxiety as to the issue1 would be held in check by my ignorance of ,god's designs4 ,once known by the issue1 ,his will would be accepted loyally1 simply because it was ,his will4 8,thanks be to ,god1 ,who hath given us the victory40#ih ,or--in spite of human feeling and repugnance--8,the ,lord gave1 and the ,lord hath taken away3 blessed be the name of the ,lord04#ii ,so in family trials1 the hidden sorrows of the heart1 the vicissitudes of the spiritual life--there would be the habit of looking up into my ,father's ,face to see ,his meaning in it all2 and where ,i could not see1 learning to bow my head and kiss ,his hand4 8,yea1 ,father2 for so hath it seemed good in ,thy sight40#ajj ,does the ,creator ask too much of ,his little creature when ,he bids it submit itself thus to ,him8 ,or is it not rather a marvellous condescension on ,his part to invite the fusion of our will with the ,divine1 thus associating us with ,himself in the work known to ,him from the beginning8 99 99 99 99 99 ,what ,you want1 my ,god1 ,you shall have1 and as cheerfully as ,i can give it4 ,to give without cost or pain is not always in my power4 ,you do not ask this3 nay1 ,you accept the cost and pain as proving greater love4 ,you value above all things the faith that gives in the dark1 not seeing ,your open hand1 nor the smile which would be its instant reward2 not understanding as yet the joy our fidelity is to ,him ,who deigns to realise ,his eternal designs through the instrumentality of our free will4 ,o ,god1 let not mine be wanting6 ,take all ,i have1 take it at any cost4 ,i make ,you welcome to all4 ,my reward shall be to kneel at ,your feet one day1 and follow ,your finger1 showing how1 here in brightness1 here in shade1 ,your work was entrusted to me1 and--my ,god1 what joy6 ,i have not disappointed ,you4 #ig ,wisd4 viii4 #ih #a ,cor4 xv4 #ii ,job i4 #ajj ,matt4 xi4 ,,xxxiii4 ,a ,,strong ,,cry4 ,they rebuked him1 that he should hold his peace4 ,but he cried out much more3 8,son of ,david1 have mercy on me04--,luke xviii4 #ci4 ,there are moments when we fling ourselves before the ,tabernacle with a desire too vehement for words4 ,these translate our thoughts and needs up to a certain point4 ,beyond that1 we must betake ourselves to the cry of the heart4 ,what a relief to know that that cry passes instantly into the presence of ,him ,who made us1 and is welcomed there4 ,nay1 it has not even a presence-chamber to seek1 for 8,he is not far from any one of us04#aja 8,his ear lies ever on our lips40 ,and this is yet too far4 ,as the sponge in mid-ocean so are we borne up1 environed1 penetrated1 saturated with ,him4 8,in ,him we live and move and have our being40#ajb ,this is ,he to ,whom we cry4 ,nor need we even cry4 ,for 8all things are naked and open to the eyes of ,him to ,whom our speech is04#ajc ,our ,god is nigh unto us2 ,he is within us2 more present to us than we are to ourselves4 ,he knows the need that casts us on our face before ,him4 ,he saw our trouble before it took shape in our soul4 ,he knows each thrill of pain1 and the agony of helplessness1 and the fear that holds us as in a vice4 ,all this ,he knows4 ,and ,he is not displeased with the passionate earnestness of our cry for help4 ,job was blameless before ,god when his misery forced from him bold words of expostulation4 ,jacob was blessed for being strong against ,god4 ,our ,almighty ,father loves to be overcome by ,his children4 ,he is willing to have ,his gifts wrested from ,him by the intensity of prayer4 ,nor will ,he have such prayer to be disconcerted or turned aside by the evidence of its untimeliness4 ,no1 not even when ,he ignores or denies it4 ,he loves the trust that catches up the rebuff and flings it back1 a passionate plea for mercy3-- 8,it is not good to take the children's bread and to cast it to the dogs40#ajd 8,yea1 ,lord2 for the whelps also eat of the crumbs that fall from the table of their masters40 ,oh1 that ,i had this strength of purpose1 this trust that sweeps all before it6 ,here on the altar ,i have my model in prayer--,him 8,who in the days of ,his flesh with a strong cry offered up prayers and supplications#aje3 ,abba1 ,father1 all things are possible to ,thee1 remove this chalice from me1 but not what ,i will1 but what ,thou wilt40#ajf 8,and being in an agony1 ,he prayed the longer40#ajg 8,and ,he prayed the third time1 saying the self same word40#ajh 99 99 99 99 99 ,our prayer can never be too urgent1 too persistent1 if only we kneel by ,your side and follow ,your lead1 ,o ,lord4 ,we may return again and again upon the same plea3 ,abba1 ,pater1 omnia ,tibi possibilia sunt4 ,all things1 all things are possible to ,thee2 take this chalice from me4 ,yet--for ,thou knowest best1 and ,i am shortsighted and self-seeking1 and know not the things that are for my peace--not my will1 but ,thine be done4 ,let that will be done which in a little while1 when ,i look down upon this trial from the unclouded brightness of my place in heaven1 ,i shall joyfully own to have been for the best1 better a thousand times than anything ,i could have devised4 8,father1 if ,thou wilt1 remove this chalice from me4 ,but if this chalice may not pass away1 but ,i must drink it1 ,thy will be done40 #aja ,acts xvii4 #ajb ,acts xvii4 #ajc ,heb4 iv4 #ajd ,mark vii4 #aje ,heb4 v4 #ajf ,mark xiv4 #ajg ,luke xxii4 #ajh ,matt4 xxvi4 ,,xxxiv4 8,,be ,,ready60 7,a visit for the ,first ,friday of the month47 8,be ready60 ,your word of warning1 ,lord1 and my one desire4 ,and so ,i come to ,you to get ready4 ,i shall be too weak and suffering on my bed of death1 too appalled by the sight of my past life to be able to do much by way of preparation for the ,last ,sacraments4 ,yet ,i shall need all their grace1 and ,i must bring to them at least the necessary dispositions4 ,take the care of all upon ,yourself4 ,see ,yourself to my dispositions4 ,look upon all as a trust committed to ,you long ago1 committed to ,you again and again with the more self-abandonment as the time and circumstances of my last hour are absolutely unknown to me4 ,let me find out in that hour how well it is to have hoped in the ,lord4 ,let me find ,you1 my ,lord1 in death equal to ,yourself--to all ,i have found ,you in life4 ,and when the hour for ,sacraments has passed2 when the ,church has stretched her hand to the utmost to hold me to the last1 up to the very confines of that world where her jurisdiction stops2 when my soul is passing beyond the reach of that hand which has stayed me up till then1 and been help and healing all my life through--then1 ,o my ,saviour1 do for me immediately1 by ,yourself1 what ,you have done for me through ,your ,church4 ,hear ,yourself my last confession made straight to ,your ,heart4 ,hear my last avowal 8of my so many sins02 of those for which ,i have sorrowed most bitterly1 which have been brought oftenest under the absolving hand of ,your priest4 ,when my last words in this world are said2 when my eyes are closed to the crucifix1 and my hands can grasp the rosary no longer2 when my ears are shut to all the sounds of earth1 and all things are sinking round me--then let me feel ,you near4 ,inspire ,yourself my last cry for mercy4 ,sweep away the clouds that will gather thick and fast before the eyes of my soul1 seeking to hide that mercy from me4 ,let ,your hand hold me4 ,let ,your arm be round me when all else is falling away4 ,you have passed1 ,o ,lord1 through the agony of death3 be with me in my agony4 ,all the nameless terrors of that hour are known to ,you4 ,all the dangers that await me then are clear to ,you here in the tabernacle--the weakness1 the weariness1 the pains of spirit1 and of sense1 the temptations kept for the last1 the loneliness1 the unsuspected snares1 the lack of human help4 ,o human ,heart1 be my secure refuge in that awful hour4 ,i call upon ,you now to fulfil in my favour then the promise to those devoted to ,your sacred ,heart3 8,i will be their assured refuge in life and more especially at death40 ,recordare1 ,jesu pie1 ,quod sum causa ,tuae viae ,ne me perdas illa die4 ,quaerens me sedisti lassus1 ,redemisti crucem passus3 ,tantus labor non sit cassus4 ,recollect1 ,o love divine1 ',twas for this lost sheep of ,thine ,thou ,thy glory didst resign4 ,sattest weary seeking me1 ,suff'redst upon the tree3 ,let not vain ,thy labour be4 ,,xxxv4 8,,domine1 ,,ecce ,,quem ,,amas ,,infirmatur40 --,john xi4 #c4 ,how many ,bethanies1 ,lord ,jesus1 have there been in the world since the day ,you stood with ,martha and ,mary by the grave of ,lazarus6 ,how many there are at this hour6 ,and each with all its pain is known to ,your pitying ,heart4 ,every detail known--the fear1 the anxiety1 the weary yet unwearied prayer1 the long1 long waiting for ,your coming2 the hope that rises and falls and clings the faster for its less foothold to ,your promises1 ,your mercy1 ,your dear human ,heart4 ,you know it all4 ,you have seen all1 heard all for years4 ,and still ,you wait1 just as ,you waited beyond the ,jordan whilst the sisters wept beside their brother's bed1 beside his grave4 8,now ,jesus loved ,martha1 and her sister ,mary1 and ,lazarus4 ,when ,he had heard therefore that he was sick1 ,he still remained in the same place two days40#aji ,why1 ,lord1 why--with ,your heart so tender and ,your arm so strong1 and danger near1 and time short1 and those ,you love so fearful and so sad8 ,why did you still remain1 ,o ,lord8 ,truly ,your thoughts are not as our thoughts1 nor ,your ways as ours4 ,our love stands sentry round its dear ones1 to ward off pain or sorrow3 8,far be it from ,thee1 ,lord1 this shall not be unto ,thee04#aaj ,your love1 seeking rather to sanctify than to spare1 assigns to sorrow a definite work in behalf of ,your beloved4 8,whom the ,lord loveth1 ,he chastiseth1 and ,he scourgeth every son whom ,he receiveth40#aaa 8,now ,jesus loved ,martha1 and ,mary1 and ,lazarus4 ,when ,he had heard therefore that he was sick1 ,he still remained in the same place two days40 8,our ,lord ,himself was perfected by ,his passion40#aab ,and in that passion it was not the nails which tore the flesh1 but the anguish which rent the spirit1 that drew forth ,his bitter cry4 ,it was the passion of ,his ,heart that was the hardest4 ,it is by the crucifixion of the heart that ,christ is perfected in us4 ,therefore ,he stays away and leaves us to suffering harder far to bear than physical pain4 ,we cry out4 ,we send our messages to ,him4 ,and ,he does not come4 8,my ,god1 ,my ,god1 why hast ,thou forsaken me60 ,he hears and does not come4 ,the echo of ,his own cry of desolation moves ,his ,heart4 ,and still ,he does not come4 ,it is because ,jesus loves that ,he does violence to ,his heart and lets the cross do for ,his friends what it alone can do4 ,this is ,his way of showing love4 ,he expects us to understand it4 ,in the cross1 as in the sacred mystery of the altar1 ,his love puts on strange disguises4 ,but puts them on so regularly1 so frankly1 that losing by this time their power of disguise1 they ought to reveal instead of hiding ,him4 ,we must be patient and wait4 ,the time of ,his coming1 with its ways and means1 we can leave to ,his wisdom and ,his love4 ,our work is to send urgently and perseveringly the message whose trust vanquished ,his ,heart at last and made ,him say1 8,let us go to him04 99 99 99 99 99 8,lord1 behold1 he whom ,thou lovest is sick40 ,before a thousand tabernacles that cry is rising4 ,no prayer1 but pleading more potent than any prayer4 ,its perseverance is its power4 ,can it but hold out1 ignore neglect1 support delay1 it is sure to hear in ,god's own time3 8,thy brother shall rise again4444 ,lazarus1 come forth40 ,listen1 ,lord ,jesus1 to that cry4 ,by the pity it woke in ,your sacred ,heart--listen6 ,by the tears ,you shed with the weeping sisters--listen6 ,not for one ,lazarus only1 but for each and every one throughout the world1 do we entreat ,you3 ,domine1 ecce quem amas infirmatur6 ,if a miracle is needed1 we ask it with confidence4 ,is there one ,you would work more gladly8 ,o ,lord1 make haste to help us4 ,to-day1 to-day--to-morrow1 perhaps1 it will be too late4 ,ecce quem amas infirmatur6 #aji ,john xi4 #aaj ,matt4 xvi4 #aaa ,heb4 xii4 #aab ,heb4 ii4 ,,xxxvi4 ,,after ,a ,,death4 ,and his disciples came and took the body1 and buried it1 and came and told ,jesus4--,matt4 xiv4 #ab4 ,poor disciples6 ,they had lost their master4 ,life lay a blank before them2 all its meaning gone1 all its purpose changed4 ,the support on which they had leaned was taken away--what was to become of them8 ,poor disciples indeed--yet happy too4 ,for the hand that dealt the blow held the remedy4 ,it led them to ,jesus4 ,what does that mean but that all they had lost was made up to them a thousandfold8 ,they took the body1 and buried it1 and came and told ,jesus4 ,we can see ,him receiving the forlorn little band4 ,we can hear ,his words of tender pity and comfort as ,he drew them out and got from them all their troubled tale4 ,we can feel the relief it was to tell ,him all2 feel the peace that stole into their hearts as ,he spoke to them of their master1 and gently won them from their grief1 and drew them to ,himself4 ,they yielded to the divine attraction of that ,eye and that ,voice1 to the irresistible sympathy of that ,heart1 to the grace that spoke to their own hearts4 ,and thus that bitter loss proved the crowning grace of their lives1 the cause of their eternal joy--because they let it lead them to the feet of ,christ--because they came and told ,jesus4 ,o ,master6 ,i too come to ,your feet to tell ,you all4 ,i have buried my dead4 ,i have lost what can never be restored to me in this world4 ,i have come from the grave with half myself buried there4 ,i have come back to a life with all its meaning gone from it--a life without joy1 interest1 anything to which my soul responds--a dreary waste stretching before me that ,i must cross alone4 ,where shall ,i turn for courage and for strength8 ,where but to ,you to ,whom the disciples of ,john turned in their desolation8 ,open to me ,your arms and ,your ,heart4 ,listen tenderly to me whilst ,i tell ,you all my trouble4 ,speak to my soul and calm it and strengthen it4 ,make up to me for what ,you have taken away4 ,and if ,you ask what compensation ,i desire1 ,i answer3 8,none other than ,thyself1 ,o ,lord04 ,let us both be gainers by this bitter loss--,you by the fuller surrender into ,your hands of all that ,i have and am2 ,i by the fuller gift of ,yourself to my soul--a fulness satisfying its every craving with the love of ,him1 from ,whom neither life nor death1 nor things present nor things to come1 have power to part me4 ,,xxxvii4 ,,god',s ,,ways4 ,wherein hast ,thou loved us8--,malach4 i4 #b4 ,my ,god1 ,i may tell ,you anything and everything4 ,all ,i have to tell interests ,you1 more especially the difficulties and troubles which do not easily come out to others1 and are not for the most part very helpfully met when they do come out4 8,for what man knoweth the things of a man1 but the spirit of a man that is in him80#aac ,but 8the ,spirit 7of ,god7 searcheth all things40#aad ,you know me through and through1 and ,i am only owning to what ,you see and understand perfectly when ,i tell ,you of repinings aroused by gifts and opportunities bestowed on others1 but denied to me4 ,i find myself questioning1 if not ,your wisdom1 at least ,your love1 in that ,i am less richly dowered than others with the happy temperament1 the talents1 the moral and social qualities that we reckon among the better gifts of life1 that render life not a duty merely1 nor a source of merit1 but a continual joy4 ,i do not see that 8the lines are fallen unto me in goodly places02 rather ,i ask petulantly1 8,wherein hast ,thou loved me80 ,the source of such disquiet is selfishness4 ,this is the dismal consolation ,i should get were ,i to confide my trouble to the most indulgent of friends4 ,but have ,you no better comfort for me1 my ,creator and my ,father8 ,to whom shall ,i go in my pains if not to ,him ,whose 8hands have made me and formed me02#aae to my ,father 8that hath possessed me1 and made me1 and created me02#aaf ,who says to me1 8,i will have mercy on thee more than a mother08#aag ,there is no humbling avowal ,i may not trust to ,you1 and trusting it be sure of sympathy4 8,why hast ,thou done so to us80 was the meek remonstrance of the most submissive of handmaids4 8,wherein hast ,thou loved us80 was said by the most cross-grained and thankless of peoples4 ,and to both questioners ,you vouchsafed a reply4 ,i too1 then1 may ask3 ,why1 ,father1 hast ,thou done so to me8 ,in withholding what is good in itself1 what would have made me happier1 ,wherein hast ,thou loved me8 ,your answer might be3 8,shall the thing formed say to ,him that formed it1 why hast ,thou made me thus80#aah ,but in place of rebuke ,you silence my trouble by an invitation3 8,come up hither04#aai ,i am to take my stand by ,your side1 and from that height look around on the design framed from eternity4 ,parts of a plan can be viewed aright only in connection with the whole4 ,to consider them independently is to miss not only the meaning and grandeur of the scheme in its entirety1 but particular excellence also4 ,this ,i know4 ,yet the tendency of selfishness is to contract the vision1 and let the tiny portion assigned to itself in the universal design absorb the interest and warp the judgment4 ,i am too near to earth1 too involved in its passing interests to preserve the relative proportion necessary for viewing things aright4 ,i must move further off--look forward a few years--plant my feet1 not on this transitory world1 but on the eternal shore1 and from that standpoint look out upon creation4 8,he hath begotten us 444 that we might be some beginning of ,his creature40#abj ,what an unsealing of eyes awaits me the moment after death6 ,what a vista all but infinite will open out before me as the divine plan unfolds6 ,all this human race1 which because it encloses my lot is apt to engross my whole interest--if indeed my interest extends to the race and is not absorbed by the little miserable me--all this vast assemblage of human souls to be--but some beginning of ,his creature6 ,in eternity ,i shall see the part assigned to this beginning in the universal scheme4 ,i shall see the part assigned to each unit4 ,i shall grasp without effort1 without reasoning1 the self-evident fact that the dignity of every human being lies in its having a place in ,god's eternal design2 that independent or solitary greatness is an impossibility2 that our happiness no less than our grandeur consists in filling that place in the vast mosaic which divine wisdom and love has appointed us2 that the significance of the creature1 its beauty and well-being are to be found only in its conformity with the ideal in the ,creator's mind4 ,those who on earth have worked out that ideal and thereby reached their appointed place are happy4 ,those who1 absorbed by selfish aims1 have failed to fit themselves for the place assigned them1 are necessarily cast aside as failures--and this whatever the gifts1 station1 influence that distinguished them in the momentary interval between two eternities that we call ,time4 ,nothing indeed will astound me more than the reversal of lots in the world beyond the grave4 ,i shall see how in innumerable instances paths of glory have led to everlasting confusion and oblivion4 ,how1 on the other hand1 the unnoticed1 the meagrely gifted1 have made their way up to the highest honour1 and are placed 8with the princes of ,his people04 ,the beggar of the ,roman streets1 shunned by every passerby1 the shepherdess of an obscure village1 the simple1 illiterate ,cur d',ars1 as 8the friends of ,god are made exceedingly honourable04 ,whilst high above all1 ,king of ,kings and ,lord of ,lords1 is a village ,carpenter of heretofore4 ,truly ,god's ways are not our ways6 ,when ,i see as ,he sees1 there will be no heartburnings1 no pining for anything however good in itself that has not found place in ,his designs for me4 ,narrow views will melt away so completely as to be deemed wholly inexplicable in the past2 egotism disappear in the burst of admiration at the design revealed in creation4 ,what will be my delight to have a place1 my particular place1 in that glorious scheme6 ,what my regret1 as ,i turn away to purgatory1 that ,i have failed to co-operate in the perfecting of the whole in the measure determined for me6 ,and this ,i shall see soon6 ,soon ,i shall be viewing all things from ,god's standpoint1 the only one possible in the land of ,truth4 ,recognising at last in my outfit a marvellous adaptation of means to the end1 ,i shall see wherein ,he has loved me4 ,i shall bless ,his will that has ordered all things sweetly4 ,i shall trace ,his love in withholding as well as in giving1 in ordaining my limitations and deficiencies no less than my aptitudes as means for attaining to my place in ,his kingdom4 ,the greater or less glory and happiness of that place will be a matter of indifference to me4 ,to reach the degree in which ,he would place me1 to satisfy ,him1 to give ,him throughout eternity the praise and reverence and service ,he asks of me--this will be the only ambition possible to my enlightened understanding and will4 8,in ,thy light we shall see light40#aba 99 99 99 99 99 ,o ,father1 that it might be thus even now6 ,that now1 whilst my place in heaven is to be sought and reached1 ,i might have the light and strength to accept1 not with resignation only--this were too poor a gratitude--but with deepest1 tenderest thankfulness1 the means fashioned to my hand1 designed by ,your wisdom for me6 #aac #a ,cor4 ii4 #aad ,ibid4 #aae ,psa4 cxviii4 #aaf ,deut4 xxxii4 #aag ,ecclus4 iv4 #aah ,rom4 ix4 #aai ,apoc4 iv4 #abj ,st4 ,james i4 #aba ,psa4 xxxv4 ,,xxxviii4 ,,twilight ,,and ,,noon4 ,my eyes are ever towards the ,lord4--,psa4 xxiv4 #ae4 ,how marvellous is the vehemence of ,david's utterances when we consider the dimness with which ,god revealed ,himself in the time of twilight before the coming of ,christ6 ,he was not altogether the hidden ,god4 ,throughout ,his dealings with ,his people we are struck by the mingling of light and darkness1 distance and nearness1 terrific chastisement and the tenderest blandishments of love4 ,there was wonderful condescension and approach in the tabernacle of the wilderness1 in the revelations to the prophets1 in the interventions of mercy that times without number succoured the stiff-necked people4 ,there are words of love in the ,old ,testament unsurpassed perhaps in tenderness by any in the ,new4 ,yet when ,his presence is nearest1 when ,his reproaches are most touching1 ,his words most endearing1 we are conscious of the measureless difference between ,god's manifestation in the past and the intimacy and familiarity brought into our relations with ,him by the ,incarnation4 ,we who live in the full illumination of that day which kings and prophets desired to see1 cannot but feel how little earth's most enlightened men knew the ,god ,who made them1 before 8the ,word was made flesh and dwelt amongst us04 ,yet so powerfully were they drawn to ,him1 that their words are the fittest exponents of every human heart when by desire1 praise1 affection1 thanksgiving1 it leaps up to ,god4 ,they give expression to our every need4 ,but1 alas6 they give too much matter also for self-reproach4 8,my eyes are always towards the ,lord10 said ,david4 ,god revealed ,himself with special intimacy to the man according to ,his own ,heart1 that spoke in his own person of the sufferings and the glories of ,him ,who was to delight in the name of the ,son of ,david4 ,yet after all what did ,david know of the ,lord compared with the knowledge vouchsafed to the least enlightened of the ,church's children6 ,he had the memory of past mercies to the 8seed of ,abraham ,his servant1 the sons of ,jacob ,his chosen04#abb ,he had the shadowy presence of ,god in the ,ark of the ,covenant4 ,and he had the dim foreknowledge of ,one to come1 of the root of ,jesse1 8beautiful above the sons of men10#abc yet 8a worm1 and no man1 the reproach of men1 and the outcast of the people10#abd of 8a ,holy ,one ,who should not see corruption10#abe but 8sit on the right hand of ,god till all ,his enemies be made ,his footstool04#abf ,this was all4 ,but it was enough to keep the eyes of ,david fixed on ,god3 8,my eyes are always towards the ,lord40 ,i think of myself4 ,i think of the careful teaching from my childhood onwards3 of the ,gospel stories so familiar to me that ,i may follow the life of the ,god-man from ,his crib to ,his cross2 living in ,his company2 listening to ,his teaching2 noting ,his look and gesture and act2 studying ,his ways and dealings with men1 ,his likes and dislikes1 the human character which individualised ,him and endeared ,him to ,his friends4 ,i may watch ,him at ,his work1 ,i may mark the effect upon ,him of kindness and appreciation1 and1 on the other hand1 of ingratitude1 scorn1 cruelty and hate4 ,i may see him thirsty1 wayworn1 footsore1 and feast the eyes of my soul on the absolute perfection with which all the eventualities of life were met by ,him ,who1 very ,god of very ,god1 was yet the ,son of ,man and one of us4 ,again1 ,i may contemplate ,him abiding ever with ,his ,church1 the source of every supernatural act throughout its length and breadth4 ,i may see the ,divine sap flowing through the vine to its furthest extremities1 the principle of life and growth1 of beauty and of fruitfulness in every soul ,his grace has sanctified4 ,i know that all ,his merits are placed at my disposal2 that ,he desires to make the meanest actions of my life meritorious of an eternal reward by uniting them with ,his4 ,i have his invitation in the early morning to offer with ,him ,his daily sacrifice that is offered for me4 ,i hear ,him asking of me1 if not a daily1 at least a frequent invitation to my heart4 ,i hear him calling 8,come aside and rest a little0 when in afternoon hours the day's tasks are lightening2 calling me to ,him for an evening blessing when the day's work is done4 ,through the long hours of day and night ,his eye is following me--how often are my eyes towards the ,lord8 ,o eager heart of ,david1 that has met1 if not with adequate response1 at least with all your strength1 the advances of our ,god1 become to ours the stimulus they so sadly need6 ,in our noontide splendour1 in the fulness of fruition1 we turn back to catch the glowing heat of your desires3 8,o ,god my ,god1 to ,thee do ,i watch at break of day4 ,for ,thee my soul hath thirsted2 for ,thee my flesh1 oh1 how many ways60#abg ,your envying of our happier days and higher privileges shall make us appreciate them better3 8,they have seen ,thy goings1 ,o ,god1 the goings of my ,god1 of my ,king ,who is in ,his sanctuary04#abh ,we will prize ,his sanctuary in our midst2 the sanctuary nearest to us1 where most of all our homage and our love are due4 ,morning1 afternoon1 and evening we will seek ,him there to bless ,him and be blessed4 8,in the churches bless ye ,god the ,lord40#abi 8,seek ye the ,lord1 and be strengthened1 seek ,his face evermore40#acj #abb ,psa4 civ4 #abc ,ibid4 xliv4 #abd ,ibid4 xxi4 #abe ,ibid4 xv4 #abf ,ibid4 cix4 #abg ,psa4 lxii4 #abh ,ibid4 lxvii4 #abi ,ibid4 lxvii4 #acj ,ibid4 civ4 ,,xxxix4 ,,responsibility4 ,behold ,i and my children1 whom ,god hath given me4--,heb4 ii4 ,no sympathy is so genuine and so ready1 none so acceptable and helpful as that created by similarity of experience4 8,what doth he know that hath not been tried80#aca 8,who can rejoice with them that rejoice1 and weep with them that weep0#acb like one whose heart has thrilled with the same gladness1 and found relief in the same tears8 ,nothing more endears our ,lord to us than the proofs of fellow-feeling that come out in every act of ,his human life4 ,the ,incarnation was the supreme gift of ,his sympathy4 ,every weary journey to and fro1 every cure of soul or body1 every word of warning and of comfort spoke of ,his sympathy4 ,the ,eucharist is ,his sympathy incarnate to the end of time4 ,no burden of ours is unshared by the ,son of man4 ,he has devised expedients that bewilder us by their condescension1 in order to bring home to us the truth3 8,i also have a heart as well as you40#acc ,he will weep with his friends beside a grave4 ,he will cower before pain and ignominy4 ,he will be 8tempted in all things like as we are04#acd ,nay1 ,he will even clothe ,himself with the appearance of sin1 be 8made sin for us02#ace feel its burden and its shame2 bear the penalty of its guilt1 to prove ,his devotedness to us in ,his most winning of ways--the sharing of our miseries out of love4 ,all the heavy-laden ,he invites to ,him1 but none1 perhaps1 are more tenderly welcomed than those who come bowed beneath the weight of responsibility4 ,whether this devolves upon them through their relations with others as superiors1 or is the consequence of kinship or friendship1 it surely wins for them the sympathy of ,him ,who knows by ,his own experience the nature of all such responsibilities and the solicitude they entail4 8,you call ,me ,master1 and ,lord1 and you say well1 for so ,i am40#acf 8,is not ,he thy ,father that hath possessed thee1 and made thee and created thee80#acg 8,as one whom the mother caresseth1 so will ,i comfort you40#ach ,he is our ,elder ,brother1 8first-born amongst many brethren20#aci 8the ,physician of ,whom we all have need20#adj 8the ,shepherd and ,bishop of our souls04#ada ,he knows1 therefore1 experimentally the peculiar trials of the charge with which we are laden1 and we may pour out our hearts to ,him with the freedom that comes of perfect trust in ,one 8sorrowful10 8heavy10 8troubled0--8in all things like as we are04#adb ,my cares1 dear ,lord1 are known to ,you1 and not known only1 but laid upon me by ,your own hand4 ,they weigh heavily at times4 ,the interests at stake are so tremendous1 and my ignorance and helplessness so great4 ,often enough ,i do not see what to do for the best2 oftener still ,i cannot take the course that seems to me best4 ,i am afraid of a false step2 ,i am afraid of missing opportunities4 ,where to make a stand1 and where to yield2 when to command1 and when to entreat2 when to offer a word of remonstrance or of counsel1 and when to say nothing and trust to prayer--all these are perplexities in which ,i need and pray for the guidance of ,your holy ,spirit4 ,there is a time to speak and a time to keep silence1 but this is ,your secret1 ,o ,lord6 ,give me the opportunities won by long prayer4 ,put upon my lips the well-timed word4 ,send me the success that comes of casting out the nets at ,your word1 under ,your eye1 with ,your blessing4 ,and solve for me other problems--how to teach my children to take their place befittingly in the world without being of the world2 how to train them for the battle of life2 to provide them with an equipment for mind and heart that will suffice for the needs of these perilous times2 to strengthen them by self-knowledge1 self-reverence1 self-control against the intellectual and moral dangers they will have to face1 and prepare them for the burning questions of the day before they are flung into their midst4 ,i tremble at the sight of these dangers beginning so early now when life is lived so fast4 ,and the mother's words1 the mother's arms do not reach as far as heretofore4 ,she can only pray and trust4 ,how earnestly ,you bid us trust1 ,o ,lord6 8,fear not3 for the battle is not yours1 but ,god's40#adc 8,cast thy care upon the ,lord1 and ,he shall sustain thee40#add 8,be quiet1 fear not1 and let not thy heart be afraid40#ade 8,i shall fear but ,i will trust in ,thee40#adf 8,my ,god is my helper1 and in ,him will ,i put my trust40#adg 8,in my affliction ,i called upon the ,lord1 and ,i cried to my ,god40#adh 8,how long1 ,o ,lord1 wilt ,thou forget me1 how long dost ,thou turn away ,thy face from me8 ,consider1 and hear me1 ,o ,lord my ,god40#adi 99 99 99 99 99 8,behold ,i and my children1 whom ,god hath given me60 ,i gather them round me here at ,your feet4 ,i trust them to ,your care4 ,keep them in ,your faith and in ,your love1 and bring them safely through the dark perils of this life to the haven of salvation4 8,behold ,i and my children1 whom ,god hath given me40 ,let me say this one day as we stand in the brightness of ,your ,presence4 ,let me say in the fulness of my joy3 8,of them whom ,thou hast given me1 ,i have not lost one40#aej 99 99 99 99 99 8,fear not6 stand and see the great wonders of the ,lord1 which ,he will do40#aea 8,i will seek that which was lost1 and that which was driven away1 ,i will bring again2 and ,i will bind up that which was broken1 and ,i will strengthen that which was weak40#aeb 8,i will give them life everlasting2 and they shall not perish for ever1 and no man shall pluck them out of ,my hand40#aec #aca ,ecclus4 xxxiv4 #acb ,rom4 xii4 #acc ,job xii4 #acd ,heb4 iv4 #ace #b ,cor4 v4 #acf ,john xiii4 #acg ,deut4 xxxii4 #ach ,isa4 lxvi4 #aci ,rom4 viii4 #adj ,luke v4 #ada #a ,peter ii4 #adb ,heb4 iv4 #adc #b ,par4 xx4 #add ,psa4 liv4 #ade ,isa4 vii4 #adf ,psa4 lv4 #adg ,psa4 xvii4 #adh ,ibid4 #adi ,ibid4 xii4 #aej ,john xvii4 #aea ,exod4 xiv4 #aeb ,ezech4 xxxiv4 #aec ,john x4 ,,xl4 ,,life4 ,as long as the heir is a child1 he is under tutors and governors until the time appointed by the father4--,galat4 iv4 #a1 #b4 ,life is a school--neither more nor less4 ,not more4 ,therefore we must not expect to find it satisfying4 ,we must not look here for the freedom1 the gladness1 the warmth1 the indefinable happiness of home4 ,but surely the eternal ,home is worth waiting for6 8,it hath not yet appeared what we shall be40#aed 8,eye hath not seen1 nor ear heard1 neither hath it entered into the heart of man1 what things ,god hath prepared for them that love ,him40#aee ,yet we may infer something of the grandeur and blessedness of the life to come from the study of our own souls1 from the vastness of their capacity1 their insatiable thirst for knowledge1 the depth and tenderness of their affections4 ,capacity supposes complement4 ,the aspirations ,god has given ,he will surely satisfy4 ,and therefore all that the noblest1 the most highly gifted1 the most loving of our race have desired for their perfect happiness1 will be given to them in a fulness of which they can form no conception--8good measure1 pressed down1 shaken together1 running over04#aef ,the most far-reaching penetration of the secrets of nature and of grace2 the perfect realisation and more a thousand times than realisation of home2 the satisfaction of all the cravings of kindred and of friendship1 to say nothing of the essential joy of which these are but the redundance--this is what awaits us hereafter4 ,not here1 nor yet4 ,we must not look now for anything but the faintest anticipation of what is in store for us--we are at school4 ,how is it that this elementary truth has so little hold upon us8 ,life would be much less of a disappointment if we remembered its true character and purport1 if we had more of the wisdom of the schoolboy who lives with his heart in the future1 and for the rough discipline of the present is for ever promising himself the compensations of home4 ,life is a school4 ,nothing less4 ,therefore we must beware of squandering the time given us to prepare for our final state4 ,we are here for our training1 not for our enjoyment1 and must go in for the experiences and the work our education demands4 ,we have to drill ourselves in regard to our pleasures and our pains4 ,pleasure must not be suffered to monopolize our interest4 ,it is but the half holiday thrown into school life to make its pressure bearable4 ,pain must not cast us down utterly1 but detach us from our surroundings here1 and foster in us the homesickness of the saints4 ,and we have to work1 work seriously at the formation of mind and heart--the task allotted us in this world4 ,both have to be conformed to the likeness of ,him ,who is the pattern of all the elect4 ,both have to be brought into harmony with the surroundings in which they will find themselves directly4 8,let this mind be in you1 which was also in ,christ ,jesus40#aeg 8,our conversation must be in heaven40#aeh ,meantime we have with us1 not only as ,master1 but as ,father and ,elder ,brother1 ,him ,who has passed through the experience of human life2 ,who1 8because the children are partakers of flesh and blood1 hath also ,himself in like manner been partaker of the same10#aei 8like to us in all things excepting sin02#afj ,whose word of comfort as we take to ,him our weary tasks is a reminder at once of their necessity and of their recompense3 8,work your work before the time1 and ,he will give you your reward in ,his time40#afa ,my ,god1 ,i thank ,you for the immortal spirit ,you have given me4 ,i thank ,you for its vast capacity1 which ,i recognise in a craving that nothing here can sate4 ,its very neediness appeals to ,your beneficence1 8abyss calleth upon abyss40#afb ,keep up the keenness of its desire1 the hunger and thirst which ,you have declared blessed1 till the time comes for satisfying it fully4 ,let me not seek to assuage it by anything transitory4 ,let me 8so pass through the things of time as not to forfeit those of eternity04#afc ,let me be schooled by the tasks and trials1 the little joys and sorrows and passing brightnesses of this life for the great future1 the true life that lies beyond4 ,may my happiness no less than my duty be found in preparing now for what ,i am to do and to be hereafter4 ,and when my school days are over and my lessons here are learned--dear ,father1 take me ,home6 #aed #a ,john iii4 #aee #a ,cor4 ii4 #aef ,luke vi4 #aeg ,philip4 ii4 #aeh ,cf4 ,ibid4 iii4 #aei ,heb4 ii4 #afj ,ibid4 iv4 #afa ,ecclus4 li4 #afb ,psa4 xli4 #afc ,collect for #crd ,sunday after ,pentecost4 ,,the ,,aberdeen ,,university ,,press ,,limited4 ,,transcriber',s ,,notes ,this file uses underscores to indicate italic text4 ,in the footnotes1 #a ,par4 and #b ,par4 refer to the first and second ,books of ,paralipomenon1 which are also known as the ,books of ,chronicles4 ,footnotes have been renumbered and moved to the ends of their chapters4 ,missing italics markings in chapter subheads have been silently corrected4 ,itemized changes from the original text3 ,on page #cg1 changed 8may-be0 to 8maybe01 near 8are deterred from visiting0 ,on page #ei1 changed 8heavy laden0 to 8heavy-laden01 near 8within a stone's throw0 ,on page #fi1 changed 8fault 0 to 8fault401 in 8through my fault0 ,on page #fi1 changed 8fail 0 to 8fail401 in 8will never fail0 ,on page #if1 changed 8#c ,kings0 to 8#a ,kings01 in 8,footnote #eh0 ,on page #aae1 changed 8,ps4 xxiii40 to 8,psa4 xxiv01 in 8,footnote #ha0