,transcriber's note3 ,unusual and inconsistent spelling is as printed4 ,illustration3 ,,at ,,the ,,manor ,,house4 ,illustration ,,was ,i ,,right8 ,,by ,,mrs4 ,o4 ,f4 ,,walton ,,author ,,of ,christie's ,old ,organ1 ,peep ,behind the ,scenes1 ,saved at ,sea1 ,,etc4 ,illustration ,,the ,,religious ,,tract ,,society #ef1 ,,paternoster ,row2 #fe1 ,,st4 ,,paul',s ,,churchyard2 ,,and #afd1 ,,piccadilly4 ,illustration ,,contents4 ,illustration ,,chap4 ,i4 ,,the ,,two ,,letters ,,ii4 ,,my ,,choice ,,iii4 ,,was ,i ,,wrong8 ,,iv4 ,,maggie',s ,,aunts ,v4 ,,first ,,impressions ,,vi4 ,,alliston ,,hall ,,vii4 ,,conscience ,,at ,,work ,,viii4 ,,alice ,,fitzgerald ,,ix4 ,,was ,,the ,,promise ,,binding8 ,x4 ,,evelyn',s ,,confession ,,xi4 ,,the ,,opportunity ,,given ,,xii4 ,,brindisi ,,xiii4 ,,was ,,it ,,he8 ,,xiv4 ,,jerusalem ,,xv4 ,,my ,,olive-,,leaves ,,xvi4 ,a ,,mystery ,,xvii4 ,,sunday ,,on ,,mount ,,zion ,,xviii4 ,,the ,,mystery ,,solved ,,xix4 ,,was ,i ,,right8 ,,was ,i ,,right8 ,illustration ,,chapter ,i4 ,,the ,,two ,,letters4 ,illustration ,,it has often seemed very strange to me1 that in moments of great anxiety or trouble1 when our minds and our hearts are stretched to the uttermost1 we notice with the keenest perception every little object around us4 ,each moving leaf1 each nodding flower1 catches our attention1 and1 years afterwards1 we can remember1 as distinctly as if it were yesterday1 how everything looked in those sorrowful moments1 when our minds were filled with thoughts of things and people far away4 ,there is one day in my life1 which stands out from amongst the past as a day above all others to be remembered by me4 ,and1 as ,i look back to it1 ,i see myself a girl of nineteen1 sitting at my bedroom window1 lost in thought and perplexity6 ,i can see the garden just as it looked as ,i gazed out into it that afternoon--our quaint1 old-fashioned garden1 with its hedge of laurel bushes1 and the large elm trees at the end of it1 with the flickering light and shade underneath4 ,i can see the rabbits from the plantations round1 nibbling the grass on the lawn2 and ,i can hear the trickling of the stream1 which ran by the side of the house1 in which ,claude1 and ,maggie1 and ,i used to float our boats1 in the happy days when we were children4 ,and now the old home must be left for ever1 for ,maggie and ,i had not a penny in the world6 ,our father had been the doctor in the village4 ,it was a very poor place1 and the people had never any money to spare4 ,my father was too kind-hearted to press for payment1 when he saw how hard it was for them to live2 and so the years went by1 and although his practice was large1 he saved very little money4 ,but even this small amount never came to us1 for just before his death1 the bank in which it was placed suddenly failed1 and so1 when he was gone1 ,maggie and ,i were penniless6 ,maggie was much younger than ,i was2 she was my half-sister1 and her mother died three weeks after she was born4 ,she committed her little baby to me1 when she knew that she must leave it2 and from that day ,i became1 as far as ,i was able1 a mother to ,maggie4 ,i was a very little mother1 for ,i was only seven years old2 but a feeling of great responsibility and trust came over me1 as ,i left the room where my stepmother was dying4 ,i crept up to the nursery1 and stroked the baby's face very gently1 and felt as if she belonged to me from that moment4 ,and now1 ,maggie and ,i were left without a penny in the world4 ,for ,maggie it was not of so much consequence4 ,a letter had come from her old maiden aunts1 her mother's sisters1 to insist upon her going at once to live with them in the old ,manor ,house at ,brandon4 ,maggie would be happy1 and cared for there2 that was a great relief to my mind4 ,poverty and hardship would not cross the path of my little sister1 and ,i was more than content that it should be so4 ,but there was no such home in prospect for me4 ,maggie's aunts were1 of course1 not related to me1 and my mother had been a friendless orphan1 so ,i had no one to take compassion on me4 ,separated from the old home1 separated from ,maggie1 life looked very cheerless to me in prospect4 ,my mind was full of trouble and of perplexity1 for on the table before me lay two letters1 which must be answered before evening1 and upon the answer to these letters would hang all my future life4 ,i sat at my bedroom window1 not knowing what to do4 ,the clock ticked on1 the hands were moving round1 and my letters were still unanswered4 ,it was then1 that1 as ,i gazed into the garden1 every tiny object was imprinted on my mind4 ,and ,i can remember that1 as ,i was sitting there1 the sun went behind a bank of heavy clouds1 and all was gloomy and dismal in a moment4 ,the rabbits ran back to their holes1 the sunbeams fled from the lawn1 the wind whistled drearily in the chimneys of the old house1 and flapped the branches of the climbing rose-tree against my bedroom window4 ,it seemed to me then very like the cloud which had come across my hitherto happy life4 ,and now1 what was before me8 ,joy or sorrow8 ,it appeared to be left with me to decide4 ,the two letters must be answered4 ,the first of these was from an old governess of ours1 a kind1 good woman4 ,i had written to tell her of my difficulties1 and she wrote to advise me to apply for a situation as companion to a young lady of fortune1 in answer to an advertisement which had just appeared in the ,times newspaper4 ,a fair salary was promised1 and all expenses of travelling would be defrayed4 ,that was one of the letters which ,i had to answer4 ,that was one path of life which lay before me4 ,it did not seem very bright in prospect4 ,the position of a poor companion in a large household was certainly not one which ,i should have chosen for myself4 ,i had said ,oh no6 instinctively1 when ,i had first read the advertisement which ,miss ,morley enclosed4 ,and yet1 the more ,i thought of it1 the more ,i felt that perhaps ,i ought to apply for the situation4 ,it was clear that ,i must work for my living1 in some way2 ,i disliked teaching1 so ,i felt that ,i was not fit to be a governess2 perhaps1 after all1 this would be the very place for me4 ,and yet1 and yet1 my heart shrank back from what might be the path of duty4 ,for there was another letter on the table2 another1 and a very different letter4 ,and this letter must be answered before ,i could at all decide about ,miss ,morley's proposal4 ,i had read it so often during the day1 that ,i knew every word of it4 ,and now ,i must take up my pen and answer it4 ,it opened out to me another path of life1 a very different path from the former--a path which seemed as bright as the other was shady4 ,and yet1 ought ,i to take it8 ,was it right for me to choose this path8 ,should ,i indeed be happy if ,i decided upon it8 ,would it be really bright1 really peaceful8 ,what course should ,i take8 ,what answer should ,i give8 ,the letter was from ,claude ,ellis1 my old playfellow and friend4 ,he was the son of the clergyman of the village1 his only child4 ,claude had no companions at home1 and therefore when we were children we went1 day by day1 to the ,parsonage1 or ,claude came to us1 and we played together between the hours for lessons4 ,maggie was too small to join in our games1 but she would sit on the grass near us1 gathering daisies1 and watching us as we floated our boats in the little stream1 or ran races on the lawn4 ,and then we grew older1 and ,claude was sent to school1 but always in the holidays our old friendship was renewed1 and we walked together1 read together1 and played together as before4 ,but soon school days passed by1 and ,claude went to ,oxford4 ,i remember so well the day on which he came to say ,good-bye to us before leaving home4 ,he looked very handsome1 and was full of spirits1 and was so much looking forward to his college life4 ,maggie and ,i walked to the garden gate with him when he went away4 ,and we talked of the time when he would come home again1 and we should spend our days together as we had always done in the holidays4 ,then he went out1 and the gate closed after him1 and ,maggie and ,i watched him down the road1 and she waved her handkerchief to him till he was out of sight4 ,and then we went back to the house1 and ,i counted how many weeks must pass before the term would be ended1 and ,claude would be with us again4 ,but a very short time after1 ,mr4 ,ellis1 ,claude's father1 was taken ill1 and the doctor ordered him to go abroad for the winter4 ,so ,claude spent his ,christmas vacation at ,mentone instead of at home4 ,and then we looked forward to ,midsummer4 ,but ,claude did not return home until the greater part of the long vacation was over4 ,he was in ,cornwall with a reading party1 and did not come to the ,parsonage until about three weeks before his return to ,oxford4 ,and so it came to pass1 that ,claude ,ellis and ,i had not met for nearly a year4 ,claude is at home1 said my father1 one morning at breakfast4 ,oh1 is he8 said little ,maggie4 ,how nice6 ,and ,i was very pleased also4 ,i expected to see exactly the same ,claude as ,i had parted from at the garden gate1 a year ago2 and ,i thought that all would go on just as it had done when he was a boy at school1 and came home for the holidays4 ,so when ,i saw him coming up the road1 ,i ran into the garden to meet him4 ,oh1 ,claude1 ,i am glad to see you6 ,i cried1 as soon as he opened the gate4 ,and then1 in a moment1 ,i stopped short1 and went up to him quite quietly1 and giving him my hand1 said in a very different voice3 ,how do you do1 ,claude2 when did you come home8 ,for in a moment it flashed across me that ,claude ,ellis and ,i were not the same as we were when we had parted at that very gate a year ago4 ,we were both older than we were then2 our childhood was a thing of the past4 ,claude and ,i had grown out of the boy and girl into the young man and woman since we had last met4 ,all this flashed across me in a moment1 as ,i noticed the difference in ,claude's dress1 manners1 and appearance1 as he came in at the gate4 ,and a chill came over me as ,i noticed it1 and ,i wished that ,i had not run to meet him quite so eagerly4 ,and yet1 when he began to talk1 ,i felt that he was in many ways the same ,claude still1 the same1 but changed4 ,was he changed for the better8 ,in many ways he was4 ,he was more manly1 and more gentleman-like1 and had much to tell us of his college friends1 and college life1 which made him a more amusing and pleasant companion than before4 ,and yet1 there was another change in ,claude1 which ,i could not help noticing1 in spite of my efforts not to do so4 ,claude ,ellis was more of a man1 more of a gentleman2 but he was1 yes1 he certainly was1 though ,i tried to persuade myself to the contrary1 less of a ,christian4 ,before ,claude went to college1 we had often talked together of the ,bible1 and he had explained to me many things which ,i did not understand4 ,we used sometimes to sit on the garden seat on ,sunday afternoons1 and read a chapter together2 and ,claude used to talk so nicely about it1 and ,i thought he loved the ,lord ,jesus1 and wished to serve ,him4 ,he often spoke of the time when he would be old enough to be ordained1 and when ,i should come to his church and hear him preach2 and he told me what his first text would be1 and how he had already written some pages of his first sermon4 ,but after ,claude's return ,i noticed a change in him4 ,at first1 he always avoided any mention of religious subjects1 and when1 either in his own home or ours1 any allusion was made to them1 he quickly turned the conversation to some other topic4 ,i tried1 for some days1 to fancy that it was not because ,claude had ceased to care for what he had loved before1 but rather that his feelings had grown so much deeper and truer1 that he felt things divine too sacred to be talked about4 ,but before the vacation was over1 ,i was obliged to admit to myself1 however unwilling ,i was to believe it1 that ,claude's views and opinions were quite changed about religious matters2 that he had begun to doubt what he had before received with childlike faith2 that he had begun to despise and hold in contempt that which from his mother's knee he had learnt to love and reverence4 ,oh1 you have never been to ,oxford1 ,may1 he said1 rather contemptuously one day1 when ,i was trying to prove something to him from the ,bible4 ,you should read some books1 which were lent to me by a man on my staircase4 ,we are behind the times in this little1 out-of-the-way place2 the world is growing very clever and learned1 and there are many things which we have always taken for granted about which there is really great doubt and uncertainty4 ,what things1 ,claude8 ,i said4 ,you do not surely mean-- ,i mean parts of the ,bible1 ,may1 and doctrines which are supposed to be proved from the ,bible4 ,but what is the use of talking about it to you8 ,i don't want to unsettle your mind4 ,if you like to believe it1 and if it makes you happy1 go on believing it1 and be glad that you haven't read the books ,i have read4 ,but you1 ,claude8 ,i said1 sorrowfully4 ,oh1 never mind about me1 ,may1 ,i am all right2 ,i am a little wiser than you1 that is all6 ,are you happier1 ,claude8 ,i ventured to ask4 ,oh1 ,i don't know1 ,may2 ,i don't think happiness1 which is based on a delusion1 is much worth having4 ,oh1 ,claude1 ,i said1 it makes me wretched to hear you talk like that4 ,then talk about something else1 ,may1 he said gaily2 you began the subject1 not ,i4 ,but1 ,claude-- ,now1 that will do1 ,may6 he said impatiently4 ,we don't think alike about these subjects1 simply because ,i know a great deal more about them than ,i did before ,i went away1 or than you do now2 so let the matter drop4 ,i was very unhappy after this conversation with ,claude4 ,he gave me no opportunity of renewing it2 but though he had not explained to me any of his doubts1 he had left an uneasy1 troubled feeling on my mind1 a feeling which ,i could not shake off4 ,when ,i went upstairs to bed that night1 ,i sat down to think over what ,claude had said4 ,what if1 after all1 ,i was resting upon a delusion1 building my happiness upon an unreality8 ,what if1 after all1 my faith was in vain1 my hope unfounded8 ,horrible doubts1 such as ,i had never known before1 came crowding into my mind4 ,are these things so8 was the oft-repeated question of my heart4 ,it was a sad awakening from the trust and implicit confidence of childhood2 an awakening which1 perhaps1 comes to every thoughtful mind1 when its faith is brought into contact1 for the first time1 with the intellect of this world2 an awakening which leads us either into the terrible region of doubt and uncertainty1 or into faith1 far firmer than ever before1 because based1 not on mere childish impressions1 but on the words and the being of the eternal ,god4 ,in this state of perplexity ,i went to my bedroom window and looked out4 ,it was a bright1 starlight night1 so ,i put out my candle1 and sat by the window1 gazing into the sky at the countless multitude of stars4 ,who had made all these mighty worlds8 ,who was keeping them all in their places1 and making them fulfil the object for which they were created8 ,i knew who it was2 my faith in the existence of an ,almighty ,god remained unshaken4 ,i could never look around me on ,god's universe and doubt that ,god was4 ,and then1 as ,i looked at the stars1 other thoughts came--thoughts of the majesty and wisdom and power of the ,god who had made all these2 thoughts1 too1 of the smallness and insignificance of our own little world--in comparison with the rest of ,god's great universe a mere speck in space4 ,and ,i--what was ,i8 ,only one of the beings which inhabited this tiny world2 one of the smallest and least wise of all in ,god's universe6 ,who was ,i1 that ,i should say to ,god1 ,why doest ,thou this8 ,who was ,i1 that ,i should presume to sit in judgment on anything in ,god's revelation8 ,his wisdom is unsearchable1 ,his ways past finding out1 was the language of my heart4 ,i am but a little child1--how can ,i understand ,god's plans8 ,i know so little1 ,i understand so little1 ,i see such a little way1 either before me or behind me4 ,how can ,i1 then1 expect to understand that which is understood fully only by ,god ,himself8 ,a feeling of my utter nothingness and insignificance in ,god's sight came over me so powerfully that ,i was almost crushed by it4 ,who was ,i--what was ,i1 that ,i should dare to doubt what ,god had in wonderful condescension revealed to me1 because of the vast amount of knowledge which was too wonderful for me2 so high that ,i could not attain unto it8 ,o ,lord1 ,i said1 as ,i looked up into the sky1 ,i will be content to be a little child1 receiving ,thy ,word with childlike faith1 and what my mind is too weak and small to understand fully1 ,i will yet believe1 because ,thou hast told me1 and because ,thy ,word must be true4 ,and even as ,i said the words1 this verse came into my mind3 ,now we see through a glass1 darkly2 but then face to face3 now ,i know in part2 but then shall ,i know even as also ,i am known4 ,then the day was coming when1 in another world1 my mind would be strengthened to understand these difficult matters which were now perplexing me--these things which ,i only knew in part1 and which1 for this very reason1 just because ,i only knew a part of them1 seemed to me so perplexing and mysterious4 ,and then there was another thought which comforted me perhaps more than anything else1 and it was this3 ,i had proved the ,bible to be true myself4 ,i knew it was the ,word of the ,god of truth by my own experience4 ,i had prayed1 and had received many an answer to my prayers4 ,i had pleaded the promises1 and had found them more than fulfilled to me in every hour of need4 ,i had fallen back upon the grand old truths of the ,bible in many a time of trouble1 and had never found them fail me4 ,a hundred books1 written by the cleverest men on earth1 could not convince me that the ,bible was a mere human production2 for ,i had found in it what ,i had found in no other book--peace for a troubled conscience1 comfort in sorrow1 victory over sin4 ,i lay down to sleep that night reassured and comforted1 and with my doubts entirely removed1 and ,i do not remember that they ever returned to me4 ,but ,claude1 what could ,i do for him8 ,i could do nothing but pray for him1 for he never gave me an opportunity of speaking to him again about what had so troubled me4 ,his college days passed by1 and every vacation that he was at home he came frequently to see us1 and each time he came ,i felt more persuaded that his new views had not improved his character4 ,he had occasionally an imperious and dictatorial manner1 such as he had never had before1 and he looked restless and dissatisfied1 as if something was preying on his mind4 ,and yet ,claude was very kind to us1 to ,maggie and to me4 ,he never came home without bringing us some little present1 and he never seemed tired of our company4 ,illustration ,illustration ,,chapter ,,ii4 ,,my ,,choice4 ,illustration ,,one day1 about six weeks before the time at which my little story commences1 ,i had been spending the day at the ,parsonage4 ,i did not often go there now1 but ,claude was away1 and his aunt1 ,miss ,richards1 who had lived there since ,claude's mother died1 invited me to spend the afternoon with her4 ,claude had just left ,oxford1 and was staying for a few weeks with some friends in ,scotland1 before settling down at home4 ,after dinner ,miss ,richards and ,i took our work into the little summer-house1 and sat there until the evening4 ,we talked on various subjects1 the village1 the people round1 ,mr4 ,ellis's health1 and of many other things4 ,and then we talked of ,claude4 ,it will be very pleasant to have ,claude at home1 said ,miss ,richards2 the house is so dull when he is away4 ,yes1 ,i said1 you must miss him very much1 ,miss ,richards1 but ,i suppose he will not be at home very long2 when is he to be ordained8 ,she did not answer me at once1 and when ,i looked up1 ,i saw that her face was very troubled and sorrowful1 as she bent over her work4 ,claude will not be ordained1 ,may1 she said at length2 ,i think that is quite decided now4 ,why not1 ,miss ,richards8 ,i asked in astonishment4 ,i thought that had been settled years ago1 when ,claude was a little boy4 ,it was only settled conditionally1 ,may1 she said4 ,claude was to go into the ministry if it was his own wish to do so2 his father would never press him into such work1 if he did not feel drawn to it himself4 ,and ,claude does not feel drawn to it8 ,i asked4 ,oh no1 he has written to his father most decidedly1 giving up all idea of becoming a clergyman1 and expressing his wish to study for the bar4 ,is ,mr4 ,ellis very disappointed1 ,miss ,richards8 ,i said4 ,of course he is disappointed in one way1 ,may1 for he has made a great effort to give ,claude a ,university education1 in order to make him more fit for his work as a minister2 but at the same time1 he quite sees that with ,claude's peculiar ideas 7you know what ,i mean1 ,may1 those new views he has taken up at ,oxford7 his ordination is1 at least for the present1 out of the question4 ,i made no answer1 but went on diligently with my work4 ,claude has been a great expense to his father1 ,miss ,richards went on2 he has cost him many hundreds at ,oxford1 and bills are still coming in4 ,he is young yet1 you see1 and ,i suppose all young men are extravagant4 ,but it is a great pity that he let the bills run on for so long2 some go as far back as his first term4 ,what does ,claude say about it8 ,i asked4 ,oh1 he is always very much troubled when the bills come1 for he sees that his father has not any money to spare1 and he talks about the time when he will have money of his own at his uncle ,charles's death1 and when he will be able to repay all his father has advanced for him4 ,and then he is quite certain that the tradesmen must have added a great deal which he never bought4 ,but it is so long ago1 ,may1 nearly four years1 so1 of course1 he cannot be sure of it4 ,i am very1 very sorry1 ,i said4 ,yes1 and so are we1 said ,miss ,richards2 but that anxiety is nothing to the other4 ,mr4 ,ellis would not mind how much money he had to pay1 if only ,claude had not taken up such rationalistic1 infidel ideas4 ,does he still hold those views8 ,i asked4 ,he spoke to me once about them1 a long time ago1 but ,i have heard nothing of it since4 ,i hoped ,claude had studied the other side of the question1 and had grown wiser4 ,oh1 my dear1 said ,miss ,richards1 he seems to me to get worse and worse4 ,at first it was only some small parts of the ,bible which he cavilled at1 and which he maintained were not inspired2 but when he once began to doubt1 there was no knowing where he would stop doubting--he carried the same spirit of critical suspicion into everything4 ,but surely there are books written which would in a great measure answer ,claude's doubts8 ,i suggested4 ,yes1 undoubtedly1 said ,miss ,richards2 but it seems to me ,claude prefers doubting1 for he does not seem at all anxious to have his doubts cleared away4 ,he does not want to have his mind satisfied1 and so he either does not read books on the other side at all2 or1 if he reads them1 he does so fully determined that his scepticism cannot be1 and indeed must not be shaken4 ,if ,claude would only prayerfully desire1 and prayerfully strive to have his doubts removed1 ,i should have no fear about him4 ,i am so very sorry1 ,miss ,richards1 ,i said again4 ,yes1 ,may1 and so am ,i1 said she4 ,i assure you that when ,i went upstairs into ,claude's bedroom1 when he was last at home1 and found at the bottom of his box a number of his favourite books 7the very names of some of which made me shudder71 ,i sat down on a chair in his room1 and had a good cry4 ,i could not help it1 ,may dear4 ,for ,i thought of the little1 trustful face1 which used to be lifted to mine years ago1 when ,i told him1 for the first time1 the beautiful stories out of the ,book he now despises and scoffs at4 ,i thought of the little voice which used to say the evening prayer at my knee1 and which used1 on ,sundays1 to repeat hymns and texts to me in this very summer-house4 ,and then ,i thought of the small1 black ,bible1 which1 when he grew older1 used always to be laid beside his pillow1 that he might be able to read it as soon as it was light in the morning4 ,i could see plenty of other books in ,claude's room1 ,may1 but no ,bible6 ,i could not help going downstairs and bringing a ,bible up to lay on the dressing-table1 in case he might see and read it4 ,though1 of course1 it would do him no good1 unless he came to it in a teachable spirit1 she added1 with a sigh4 ,but ,i have not lost hope for ,claude yet1 said ,miss ,richards1 after a pause4 ,i believe that when he is older he will be wiser in many ways4 ,and ,may1 she said1 my great hope for ,claude lies in you2 you have more influence with him than any one has4 ,i8 ,oh no1 ,miss ,richards2 you are quite wrong there1 ,i said4 ,he will never even speak to me on the subject4 ,no1 perhaps not1 said ,miss ,richards2 but your quiet1 gentle1 loving influence must have its effect in time4 ,but1 ,miss ,richards1 you are quite mistaken in supposing that ,i have any influence with ,claude4 ,i know when we were children together1 and were like brother and sister to each other1 ,i may have had some power over him1 but it is quite different now4 ,you have tenfold more influence with ,claude now than you had then1 ,may1 she said quietly2 to give you pleasure is the greatest joy of his life1 to grieve you is his greatest pain4 ,i felt my face growing very crimson as ,miss ,richards said this4 ,she had put into words a fear which had been hidden away in my heart for some months--a fear that ,i had never dared1 even in my own heart1 to put into words--a fear that ,i was becoming more to ,claude than a mere sister1 and that he had plans and views for our future1 his future and mine1 which ,i could not1 which ,i ought not1 to entertain for a moment4 ,and1 because of this undefined fear1 ,i had kept away from the ,parsonage as much as possible during the vacations1 and ,i had avoided ,claude as much as our old friendship would allow me1 until sometimes my conscience had accused me of rudeness and unkindness4 ,but1 after all1 ,i had hoped it was but a fear4 ,claude loved me1 it was true1 ,i argued to myself1 and liked to bring me presents1 and to give me pleasure2 but then it was only natural that he should do so1 when we had been brought up together1 and learnt together1 and played together1 and had had every thought and scheme in common4 ,it was nothing more than that4 ,so ,i had argued with myself4 ,but ,miss ,richards's words had revived my old fear1 and increased it a hundredfold4 ,i was very glad when1 a minute or two afterwards1 the village clock struck five1 and ,i could make an excuse to leave4 ,miss ,richards had evidently noticed my embarrassment1 for she said kindly1 as she wished me good-bye3 ,i hope ,i have not troubled you1 ,may dear1 but my heart is so full of anxiety about ,claude just now1 that ,i have spoken perhaps more strongly than ,i ought to have done4 ,i went home very perplexed and troubled1 but the next day my thoughts were turned into an entirely fresh channel by the sudden illness of my dear father4 ,i will not dwell upon the sad time which followed those days and nights of alternate hope and fear1 and then the close to our watching1 and the terrible realisation that ,maggie and ,i were amongst the number of the fatherless children1 prayed for1 ,sunday after ,sunday1 in the ,litany4 ,miss ,richards was very kind to me during that time of trouble1 giving me advice and help as ,i needed them1 and relieving me greatly from the sense of heavy responsibility which rested on me4 ,claude was still from home1 but he wrote a kind little note of sympathy to me1 when he heard of my father's death4 ,he said he was very sorry that he was away at the time2 had he been at home he would have done all in his power to save me any unnecessary care and anxiety in my time of sorrow4 ,i tried to hope that this was only brotherly sympathy and kindness1 such as ,claude had always shown me from childhood4 ,i answered the letter by a short note1 thanking him for his kind expression of sympathy1 and telling him a little of our future plans--how ,maggie was going to live with her aunts in the old ,manor ,house at ,branston1 and how ,i hoped very soon to obtain a situation as governess or companion1 where ,i could earn enough money to keep me in comfort and independence4 ,by return of post came a second letter from ,claude4 ,i almost trembled when ,i saw his handwriting on the envelope2 ,i had not intended to open a correspondence with him4 ,and when ,i took the letter from the envelope1 and saw its length1 ,i was still more troubled and afraid4 ,then ,i read the letter1 and when ,i had read it once1 ,i read it again1 and yet again4 ,and now this letter lay on the table before me1 still unanswered1 and post-time was drawing nearer and nearer4 ,i looked at it once more1 although ,i knew almost every word of it already4 ,claude began by stating his utter disapproval of my scheme of obtaining a situation as companion or governess4 ,i was not fitted for it1 and he would never allow it to be carried out4 ,and then he went on to tell me that he had far different plans for my future--plans which had mingled with his boyish dreams1 and which had been for years the one idea of his life4 ,and then he told me how he loved me1 how there was no one on earth that he had ever cared for except myself1 and how he felt that the time had now come to make me his wife1 and to take me to a home of my own1 where ,i should be taken care of1 and cherished1 and loved1 more than any wife had ever been before4 ,he said it was hard for him to put into a letter all the feelings of his heart4 ,he had never planned to tell me all this by writing1 but he felt compelled to write off at once1 as soon as he received my letter1 and the more so as1 by a curious coincidence1 by the very same post he had heard of the sudden death of his uncle ,charles1 who had left him a large sum of money1 quite sufficient1 ,claude said1 to enable him to marry1 and to take me to a comfortable home4 ,at the end of the week1 he said1 he hoped to be with me1 but he could not wait till then to tell me all this1 for he feared that ,i should in the meantime be answering some dreadful advertisement1 and be making another and a very different engagement4 ,he concluded by urging me to write by return of post1 as he longed to know that the whole matter was finally settled and arranged4 ,the more ,i read this letter1 the more persuaded ,i felt that ,claude never1 for a single moment1 entertained the possibility of my refusing him2 he seemed to look upon it as a matter of certainty that ,i should be only too glad to do as he asked me4 ,he was evidently utterly unprepared for anything but an immediate and hearty acceptance of his offer4 ,and now what answer should ,i give8 ,i pressed my throbbing temples1 and tried to think the matter over calmly and deliberately4 ,did ,i love ,claude ,ellis8 ,yes1 undoubtedly ,i loved him very much indeed2 not in the same way1 it is true1 as ,i had imagined that ,i should love the one who was to become my husband1 but still ,i loved him very warmly1 us a sister loves a dear brother who has been everything to her since she was a little child4 ,and surely a different kind of love for ,claude might1 and probably would1 come in my heart after we were engaged4 ,and although ,claude was certainly not at all like the husband that ,i had pictured to myself in the days long ago1 when ,i was foolish enough to indulge in day-dreams1 and although even now1 at times1 ,i longed1 oh1 how much6 for some one to lean on--some one very wise1 very good1 very true1 and infinitely better in every way than ,i was2 and ,i had never pictured ,claude to myself as the one who was to be all this to me2 yet still he would be a kind1 loving husband1 and ,i might be very happy if ,i were his wife4 ,and ,i was so fond of ,claude that ,i felt it would make me very miserable to feel that there was any estrangement or coldness between us1 as there undoubtedly would be if ,i refused to be his wife4 ,our old friendship1 which had lasted so long1 would practically end1 and when we met we should feel restrained and uncomfortable in each other's presence4 ,i could not bear to think that such would be the case4 ,and then ,miss ,richards--how anxious she evidently was that ,i should use my influence with ,claude6 ,what would she say if ,i were to refuse him8 ,how strange she would think it6 ,how grieved and disappointed she would be6 ,and yet1 with the thought of ,miss ,richards came the recollection of what she had told me of ,claude1 as we sat together in the arbour4 ,should ,i be happy with one as my husband who scorned the ,book ,i loved best on earth1 who slighted and neglected the ,friend who was to me the chiefest among ten thousand8 ,should ,i be happy with no family prayer in my household1 with no reading of the ,word of ,god1 and with religious topics for ever banished1 because husband and wife thought so differently about them8 ,would the love between us be perfect1 the confidence unsullied1 when there was one subject--and that one the subject nearest to my heart--on which we had no communion2 one ,name1 and that one the ,name above every name1 which neither of us ever mentioned to each other8 ,should ,i be really happy1 really contented with such a state of things8 ,and then came another question4 ,even supposing ,i should be happy1 was it right for me to accept ,claude's offer8 ,was it right in ,god's sight for me to marry one who was not a ,christian8 ,i knew there was a text somewhere in the ,epistle to the ,corinthians which spoke on this point4 ,i opened my ,bible and looked for it1 and ,i found it in #b ,corinthians vi4 #ad3 ,be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers3 for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness8 and what communion hath light with darkness8 ,it was a very clear command1 and could not be mistaken4 ,and yet ,i tried to argue myself into the belief that it did not apply to me4 ,for in the first place1 ,i reasoned1 ,claude was not a heathen as these ,corinthians were4 ,he did not worship gods of wood and stone4 ,he was looked upon as a ,christian1 and lived and had been brought up in a ,christian family4 ,but the word unbeliever1 conscience answered1 surely includes every one that is not a believer4 ,was ,claude a believer8 ,could ,i honestly say that he was a true believer in the ,lord ,jesus ,christ8 ,would ,claude himself like to be thought a believer8 ,could ,i from my heart say that ,i thought ,claude was safe in ,christ1 resting his soul on ,christ for salvation8 ,no1 ,i was obliged sorrowfully to admit to myself that such was not the case4 ,but then1 ,i argued1 ,i am not perfect4 ,oh1 how cold and indifferent ,i am at times6 ,how full of carelessness1 and pride1 and every kind of sin6 ,who am ,i1 that ,i should set myself up to be better and more holy than ,claude8 ,who am ,i1 that ,i should say ,claude is not good enough for me8 ,and yet the line of distinction in the text was evidently drawn1 not between perfect people and imperfect people1 but between believers and unbelievers4 ,was ,i then a believer8 ,that was the question3 was ,i in deed and in truth a believer in the ,lord ,jesus ,christ8 ,i dared not say that ,i was not1 for even as ,i asked myself the question1 a day years ago came back to my mind1 a day when ,mr4 ,ellis had been giving us a ,bible lesson and had spoken to us very solemnly about coming to ,christ for ourselves1 and that at once4 ,i remembered how anxious and serious ,i had felt as ,i left the ,bible class1 and how ,i had come home and shut myself in this very room where ,i was now sitting4 ,i remembered how ,i had closed the door behind me1 and had resolved not to leave the room until ,i had laid my sins on ,jesus1 and had looked to ,him by faith as my own ,saviour4 ,i remembered how all my sins had risen up before me that day as they had never done before2 and how1 one by one1 ,i had taken them to ,christ to be atoned for and forgiven4 ,and then ,i remembered the peace which had followed1 and how1 for days afterwards1 life had been entirely new to me1 and my thoughts1 and feelings1 and wishes had been entirely different from what they were before4 ,and since that time1 though ,i had very often grown careless and indifferent1 still ,i had never been happy when ,i was not walking closely with ,god1 and ,i had always longed at such times to be back in the sunshine and light of ,his presence again4 ,so then it seemed as if the command in the text did apply to me4 ,but surely if ,i married ,claude1 ,i might use my influence with him for good4 ,he loved me very much1 and1 as ,miss ,richards had said1 ,i had more influence with him than any one had4 ,was it right for me to throw away this opportunity of doing good8 ,was there not a text which said that husbands1 who obey not the ,word1 might yet1 without the ,word1 be won by the conversation of their wives8 ,and did not ,st4 ,paul say1 ,what knowest thou1 ,o wife1 whether thou shalt save thy husband8 ,surely these verses justified me in thinking that if ,i married ,claude1 he might1 through my influence1 become a ,christian4 ,and yet when ,i turned to these passages1 and read the context1 ,i saw that they clearly referred to those wives who were converted after their marriage--that such were told not to leave their unbelieving husbands1 but to remain in that state in which they were called1 and to such1 and to such alone1 the promise about being the means of saving their husbands applied4 ,it had evidently nothing whatever to do with those who were converted whilst they were still unmarried1 nor did it1 in the very slightest degree1 overthrow the clear command ,i had just read3 ,be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers-- ,a command which applied to the unmarried believers1 as plainly as the command in the first ,epistle applied to the married ones4 ,and1 when ,i began to think the matter over1 with a more unbiased mind1 ,i was driven to the conclusion that ,claude was far more likely to lead me away from ,christ than ,i was to lead him to become a believer4 ,for surely if ,i had not enough influence now to persuade him to love better things--now1 when he was so anxious to win my favour1--surely afterwards1 when he felt certain of my love1 he would not be more likely to be led in an entirely different direction4 ,surely ,i should become worse1 and ,claude would become no better4 ,i should be less of a believer1 and he would remain still an unbeliever4 ,to do evil1 that good may possibly come1 is entirely opposed to the whole teaching of the ,new ,testament2 nowhere is the faintest hope held out that such a course will result in good4 ,and ,i could undoubtedly expect no blessing from ,god on my endeavours to lead ,claude aright if ,i had acted in the face of ,god's command and had gone in direct opposition to ,his clear injunction3 ,be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers4 ,and so ,i felt1 when ,i had thought the whole matter carefully over1 that it came to this3 ,was ,i willing to shut ,christ out from the first place in my heart1 and put ,claude there instead8 ,or1 on the other hand1 was ,i willing to give up ,claude1 and hold all the closer and firmer to ,him who had for years been my hope and my refuge8 ,christ's love or ,claude's6 ,which should ,i choose8 ,i could not have both1 for ,i felt that to have both was impossible4 ,choosing ,christ1 ,i should offend ,claude2 choosing ,claude1 ,i should forfeit the love and the favour of ,christ4 ,christ or ,claude--which8 ,a verse1 which ,i had learned as a child1 came suddenly into my mind1 and looking up to the sky above me1 in which the sun was once more shining1 ,i repeated it aloud1 for it seemed exactly to express the earnest cry of my soul3 ,my heart is fixed1 ,o ,god1 ,fixed on ,thee2 ,and my eternal choice is made1 ,christ for me4 ,christ for me4 ,christ's smile1 ,christ's favour1 ,christ's blessing2 these are my choice4 ,whatever it costs me1 ,i cannot1 ,i will not1 give them up4 ,i knelt down1 and thanked ,god from the bottom of my heart for showing me the clear1 the sure1 the right way for me to take4 ,and then ,i took up my pen to answer ,claude's letter4 ,illustration ,illustration ,,chapter ,,iii4 ,,was ,i ,,wrong8 ,illustration ,,it was not an easy task to answer that letter1 for ,i did not wish to wound ,claude or to pain him1 and ,i felt sure he would be so utterly unprepared for what ,i felt obliged to say4 ,lest ,i should in any way raise his hopes1 ,i began at once by telling him how difficult ,i felt it to write1 and how much it cost me to tell him that what he had asked me to do in his letter was quite impossible4 ,i thanked him for all his love for me1 and for the kind way in which he had spoken of me2 but ,i made it as clear as possible that1 though ,i hoped always to remain his friend and sister1 yet ,i could not be his wife4 ,i did not tell him my exact reason for refusing him1 for ,i felt that ,claude would not in the least degree understand it2 but ,i told him that my mind was fully made up1 and ,i begged him at once to dismiss the idea of it from his own mind4 ,i tried to write very decidedly and yet very kindly1 and with the remembrance of our old friendship and love vividly impressed on my mind4 ,i ended by expressing my sorrow for giving him pain1 and my earnest hope for his future happiness4 ,i begged him to let no coldness and estrangement come between us on account of this1 but to let our old friendship be strengthened and increased rather than weakened and lessened4 ,i was not at all satisfied with this letter when it was finished1 but there was no time to rewrite it1 for post-time was close at hand1 and the advertisement in the ,times newspaper must be answered at once1 or ,i should lose the situation4 ,when both the letters were gone1 ,i tried to dismiss the subject from my mind1 and when it came back to me1 ,i endeavoured to turn my tired thoughts into prayer1 and in this way found comfort and relief4 ,the following afternoon1 as ,i was writing letters in the little schoolroom1 which was the next room to my bedroom1 and the window of which also looked out over the garden to the hills beyond1 ,i heard a hasty step on the stairs4 ,maggie was spending the day with a playfellow of hers in the village1 and it was not ,maggie's step4 ,no1 ,i knew the step well1 and my heart beat fast1 and ,i felt myself growing paler and paler every moment4 ,the door opened1 and ,claude entered without any ceremony4 ,he looked tired and troubled1 and his clothes were covered with dust from his long journey4 ,may1 he said1 ,i got your letter this morning1 and ,i have come off at once4 ,the ,fitzgeralds thought ,i was mad1 ,i believe2 ,i started up from the breakfast-table and said ,i must catch the nine o'clock train4 ,but ,i could not have waited another day2 it would have been utterly impossible1 ,may4 ,i tried to speak1 but my heart was beating so quickly now that my words seemed as if they would choke me4 ,and now1 ,may1 ,claude said1 hurriedly1 sitting down by my side and taking my hand1 ,i want you to tell me what you meant by that cruel letter you sent me2 or1 rather1 ,i want you to tell me that it was all a mistake1 all a delusion1 that you have thought better of it since1 and that you wish you had never written it4 ,i want you to tell me1 ,may1 darling1 he said in a lower voice1 that the dream of my life is to be changed into a reality this very week4 ,i want you to tell me that the bright days which ,i have always said were in store for us both are now close at hand4 ,claude1 dear ,claude1 ,i said1 as soon as ,i was able to speak1 you have my answer2 as a sister1 as a friend1 ,i will always love you1 but ,i cannot1 cannot be your wife4 ,and pray why not1 ,may8 he said1 impatiently rising1 and walking towards the window4 ,what absurd idea have you got in your head now8 ,who1 or what is to hinder you from becoming my wife1 ,i should like to know8 ,claude1 ,i cannot1 ,i said2 and the tears would come1 in spite of all my efforts to keep them back4 ,but what is your reason1 ,may8 he said1 pacing up and down the room4 ,you must have some reason for what you say1 and ,i cannot rest till you tell me what it is4 ,what is it1 ,may8 ,i had rather not tell you all my thoughts about it1 ,claude1 ,i said2 it would be very difficult1 and would cost us both much pain4 ,and ,claude1 ,i said1 earnestly1 it would do no good2 my mind is quite made up3 ,i cannot do as you ask me1 so please do not press me for the reason1 ,claude4 ,but ,i will know it1 ,may1 he said1 almost angrily4 ,i am not going home till you have told me2 so you had better let me hear it at once4 ,and then ,i felt that1 perhaps1 it was sinful cowardice which made me afraid to tell ,claude my reason2 perhaps ,i was grieving my dear ,lord and ,master by being ashamed of ,him1 by being ashamed to tell ,claude what it was that ,i held far more dear than his love for me1 even the priceless1 the everlasting love of my ,lord4 ,and yet how could ,i do it8 ,claude unexpectedly came to my help4 ,may1 he said1 quickly1 do you love any one better than me--is that it8 ,yes1 ,claude1 ,i said1 in a low voice2 there is one love which ,i hold more dear than yours--that is it4 ,who is it1 ,may8 he said1 impatiently4 ,i didn't know you knew any one else well enough2 who can it be8 ,it is no one on earth1 ,claude1 ,i said2 ,i mean the ,lord ,jesus ,christ4 ,what nonsense1 ,may6 he exclaimed4 ,whatever in the world has that to do with it8 ,i am not going to interfere with your religion2 you may be as religious as ever you please--a perfect saint if you like2 ,i won't hinder you4 ,so now put all those absurd notions out of your head1 and let us talk about the future4 ,that matter is settled2 you shall be twice as religious after you are married as you were before4 ,but1 ,claude1 it is not settled1 ,i said2 you know ,i could not expect to be happy1 or to enjoy ,god's presence1 if ,i was disobeying ,his clear command4 ,and pray what command do you mean8 said ,claude4 ,really1 ,may1 this is too absurd6 ,i opened the ,bible and handed it to him2 there was a mark against the verse in the ,epistle to the ,corinthians1 and his face clouded over as he read the words4 ,i wish that verse was cut out of every ,bible in the world1 he said1 angrily2 ,i wonder how many people's happiness has been ruined by it2 and it is perfectly ridiculous6 ,why1 ,may1 you don't even understand the wording of the text2 you can't even read it in ,greek1 and yet you are going to overthrow all my plans and schemes for the future1 and spoil all my happiness in the world1 just for the sake of that one obscure verse4 ,i could not help noticing how much ,claude dwelt on his own plans1 and schemes1 and happiness in the world1 and how he looked at the matter quite from his own point of view1 and not at all from my side of the question4 ,no1 ,claude1 ,i said1 calmly1 ,i cannot read it in ,greek1 but ,i understand quite enough of it to make me quite sure that if ,i were to consent to marry you1 ,i should be grieving my best ,friend1 by disobeying ,his clear command4 ,why1 ,may1 that just shows you know nothing at all about it1 he said4 ,that verse has no more to do with you than it has with that table2 it was spoken to the ,corinthians1 who1 before ,paul preached to them1 were an ignorant lot of heathens1 and all it means is1 that ,christians are not to go and marry heathens4 ,i'm not a heathen1 bad as you seem to think me4 ,but1 ,i answered1 it says unbelievers1 and surely that means those who are not believers4 ,claude1 are you a real believer in the ,lord ,jesus ,christ8 ,can you honestly say that you are8 ,would you like to be called a believer by the world8 ,claude could not answer this question1 so he quickly turned the conversation into quite a different channel4 ,and so you set up yourself as too good for me1 ,may1 that's what it is6 ,you think yourself far too saintly to be joined to a poor heathen like me6 ,no1 ,claude1 indeed it is not that1 ,i said2 indeed it is not4 ,i am not good at all2 very1 very far from it2 but ,i do trust that ,i have come to the ,lord ,jesus1 and that ,i believe in ,him4 ,yes1 though ,i am very imperfect and sinful1 oh1 ,claude1 ,i do hope that ,i am a believer1 ,i said1 with tears in my eyes4 ,yes1 darling1 said ,claude1 in quite a different tone1 ,i know you are everything good2 ,i sometimes wish ,i were more like you4 ,won't you help me to become better1 ,may8 ,won't you save me from myself1 and teach me to love what you love8 ,come1 ,may1 it is my last chance2 surely you will not refuse me8 ,and ,claude took hold of my hand1 and looked up pleadingly into my face4 ,it was a dreadful temptation1 and a fierce struggle was going on in my mind4 ,whilst ,claude had been angry and impatient it had been comparatively easy to be firm1 but now1 now that his voice was so pleading and so tender1 now that his hand was laid so lovingly upon mine1 now that his eyes were actually full of tears1 ,i felt my resolution giving way1 my faith failing4 ,what if1 after all1 ,claude was right8 ,what if ,i might be indeed the means of leading him to better things8 ,miss ,richards seemed to think so1 and ,miss ,richards was a good woman4 ,and yet1 my conscience told me plainly enough1 that the opinion of a good woman could not make a wrong action right4 ,was it right or wrong in the sight of ,god8 ,that was the question1 and every time ,i put it to my heart1 the same answer came1 in clear1 unmistakable terms3 ,be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers4 ,i saw the path of duty clearly before me1 a hard and difficult path1 so hard and so difficult that ,i nearly despaired of ever being able to tread it4 ,the temptation was indeed fierce and strong1 and ,i was on the point of yielding4 ,claude saw this and spoke still more tenderly1 and pressed the advantage he had gained as far as possible4 ,i darted up one earnest1 imploring cry to my ,lord for help4 ,my prayer did not1 even in thought1 resolve itself into words1 but it was the language of my innermost soul4 ,and it was not left unanswered4 ,four words came into my mind at that moment1 which enabled me to gain the victory4 ,as clearly as if the sunbeams which were streaming in at the window had written them on the wall of the room1 these four words flashed across me3 ,,for ,,my ,,name',s ,,sake4 ,ah6 ,here was a motive1 strong enough to enable me to overcome the greatest temptation2 here was a motive1 strong enough to enable me to conquer all those desires and wishes of my heart1 which were urging me into disobedience to my ,lord's command4 ,for ,my ,name's sake2 is it too much to bear for ,me8 ,i heard ,him ask me2 and1 in a moment1 all ,his infinite love for me1 all ,his self-denial for my sake1 all ,his travail of soul1 all that ,he underwent to save me1 and bless me1 crowded upon my mind1 and was followed by the question-- ,all this ,i bore for thee1 ,what canst thou bear for ,me8 ,my mind was made up2 ,i would parley with the temptation no longer4 ,i drew my hand away from ,claude's1 gently1 but firmly4 ,claude1 ,i said1 do not let us make each other more miserable1 by going over and over the same ground4 ,you will never be able to move me4 ,i can only repeat what ,i have told you before4 ,as a sister1 as a friend1 ,i will always love you1 but ,i cannot be your wife4 ,claude1 ,i went on1 as he was beginning to speak1 that is my final answer1 so please say no more about it4 ,i suppose ,i spoke very decidedly1 though ,i had tried to speak calmly1 for ,claude was very angry4 ,a change passed over his face in an instant2 ,i do not think he had dreamt for a single moment that ,i should be able to withstand his arguments and his persuasions4 ,he walked to the window and looked out on the garden below4 ,then ,i am to look upon this as final1 ,may8 he said1 bitterly4 ,yes1 ,claude1 as quite final1 ,i replied2 you will never be able to move me from my resolution1 dear ,claude4 ,but you will not let our old friendship end1 will you8 ,why should we not be brother and sister to each other still8 ,oh6 ,there are two sides to that question1 said ,claude1 proudly4 ,i keep out of the way of those who think themselves too good to associate with me4 ,there are plenty of other people who will be glad of my friendship4 ,and so ,claude left me without another word4 ,he went out of the room1 slamming the door after him1 and a moment afterwards ,i saw him hastily cross the lawn1 and go out at the garden gate4 ,and ,i knew1 as well as if ,i could read the future1 that that was the last time ,i should see him pass through that gate4 ,for ,claude's was a proud1 imperious nature1 and the more ,i thought the matter over1 the more ,i felt sure that his pride was wounded1 quite as much1 if not more1 than his affection4 ,he had thought it next to impossible that any one1 and above all a poor1 friendless girl like myself1 should refuse to be his wife4 ,he had found he was mistaken1 and he was mortified and vexed at the discovery4 ,when ,i was left alone1 ,i felt as if ,i had gone through a great storm1 and had come out of it wearied and exhausted4 ,my mind was too tired even to pray4 ,i pushed aside the letters ,i was writing1 and looked out over the distant hills4 ,but after a time1 when ,i was calmer and in a more restful state of mind1 ,i opened my ,bible at the place where it had been so often opened the last two days1 and read again my ,master's word of command4 ,and then ,i was enabled1 though with tears in my eyes1 to thank ,him that through ,his grace ,i had been strengthened to keep it4 ,this time ,i read the whole passage through to the end of the chapter4 ,the last two verses were the very words ,i needed just then3 ,come out from among them1 and be ye separate1 saith the ,lord1 and touch not the unclean thing2 and ,i will receive you1 and will be a ,father unto you1 and ye shall be ,my sons and daughters1 saith the ,lord ,almighty4 ,the ,master's call--,come out from among them4 ,the ,master's promise--,i will receive you4 ,if ,he said1 ,go out from among them1 it would have been so much harder to obey4 ,but ,he does not say ,go1 but ,come--,come out2 come to ,me--,i will receive you4 ,come out to ,me1 and ,i will be a ,father unto you1 and you shall be ,my children1 ,my sons and ,my daughters4 ,come out to ,me2 come out1 not unto loneliness1 and orphanhood1 and desolation1 but come out to ,me1 to a ,father's love1 to a ,father's sympathy1 to a ,father's home4 ,come and be ,my sons and daughters1 the sons and daughters of a ,king--the ,king of kings4 ,come then out from among them4 ,leave that transient1 earthly affection1 which is1 as it were1 but for a moment4 ,come to ,me1 and ,i will receive you1 and will give you far more than what you will have to leave behind1 far more than you have ever even hoped for from the purest of earthly loves4 ,i will give you ,myself--,my love1 ,my everlasting love1 ,my soul-satisfying love4 ,is not the exchange worth making8 ,is not the coming out fully recompensed by the loving reception8 ,i looked up into the sky1 in which the sun was fast setting1 and said with a thankful heart1-- ,lord1 by ,thy grace ,i have come out2 ,i have given up the affection which would have drawn me away2 ,i have separated myself from the love which1 however sweet1 would have cut me off from ,thy presence and from ,thy love4 ,and1 even as ,i said this1 the ,master's answer came with tenderest comfort to my heart3 ,i will receive you1 nay1 ,i have already received you1 and ,i will be a ,father unto you1 and you shall be ,my child1 ,my daughter1 saith the ,lord ,almighty4 ,i heard ,maggie's voice at this moment1 so ,i hastily rose1 wiped away the tears which were now only tears of joy and thankfulness1 and went to meet her4 ,how happy you seem to-night1 ,may1 she said1 as we sat together at supper2 you have not looked so happy since--since-- ,her lip quivered1 and tears came into her eyes4 ,i held out my arms to her1 and she came and sat on my knee1 as she used to do when she was a little child1 laid her head on my shoulder1 and sobbed4 ,what is it1 ,maggie darling8 ,i asked1 stroking her long1 fair hair with my hand4 ,oh1 ,may1 she sobbed1 if only we could be together2 if only ,i had not to go away and leave you4 ,i counted the days this morning on the almanack1 and there are only nineteen more4 ,poor little ,maggie6 ,i said4 ,what shall ,i do without you8 ,and what shall ,i do without you1 ,may8 she said4 ,my aunts are very kind1 but they are not like you2 you are just like a mother to me4 ,i shall never be a good girl1 ,may1 when ,i haven't you to talk to me1 and when ,i can't tell you all my troubles4 ,but you can tell ,jesus1 ,maggie1 ,i said1 just as you have always told me1 and ,he will help you and comfort you far1 far better than ,i could do4 ,yes1 ,may1 she said1 putting up her face to be kissed1 ,i will tell ,him every day2 ,i promise you that ,i will4 ,and then you can write to me1 ,maggie1 ,i said4 ,look here what ,i have bought for you4 ,i had meant to have kept it till the last day1 but perhaps ,i had better give it to you now4 ,i went to a drawer and brought out a neat little desk filled with paper1 envelopes1 pens1 stamps1 and everything necessary for letter-writing4 ,maggie was charmed with it1 and was quite as merry as she had been sad before1 and began to plan at once how many letters she would write me every week1 and what she would say in them4 ,she said she should tell me everything1 even what time she got up every morning and went to bed every night4 ,dear little ,maggie6 ,how well ,i can picture her to myself as she looked on that memorable evening in my life1 on which ,i had refused to be ,claude ,ellis's wife4 ,illustration ,illustration ,,chapter ,,iv4 ,,maggie',s ,,aunts4 ,illustration ,,those last days which ,maggie and ,i spent together in the old home were very happy ones4 ,i took every opportunity ,i had of deepening in my little sister's mind the lessons ,i had tried to teach her from a child1 and which she had always loved so much4 ,i had great reason to hope that they had not been in vain1 but that my dear little ,maggie was in deed and in truth a child of ,god4 ,we were very busy sorting and packing our various possessions1 and leaving all in the house in readiness for the sale which was to take place immediately we left4 ,i had received a satisfactory answer to my application for the post of companion1 saying that ,sir ,william ,trafford1 after due inquiries of my referees1 would be glad of my services as companion to his daughter1 ,miss ,evelyn ,trafford1 and would be glad to know on what day ,i should be able to commence my duties at ,alliston ,hall4 ,i did not see ,claude again before ,i went away4 ,the day after his visit to me ,i heard that he had again left home1 and had returned to his friends in ,scotland4 ,the evening before we left ,acton1 ,i went up to the ,parsonage to say good-bye4 ,miss ,richards received me very kindly1 but we were both constrained in our manner1 for we were thinking of the same thing1 and neither of us liked to mention it4 ,we spoke of the weather1 of my future plans1 of the sale of the furniture1 of ,mr4 ,ellis's health1 and of a variety of other things and people2 but ,claude's name was carefully avoided1 and that which was filling our thoughts was entirely kept out of the conversation4 ,so it was no wonder that our talk flagged at times1 and that we were very far from being natural or at our ease4 ,just as ,i was leaving1 ,i remembered how kind ,miss ,richards had been to me through my motherless life2 always ready to help me with her advice whenever ,i needed help1 and very patient in listening to the small home worries which had crowded upon me when ,i first took upon myself the cares and responsibilities of housekeeping4 ,miss ,richards1 ,i said1 you have been like a mother to me2 ,i shall never1 never be able to thank you enough for all you have been to me4 ,oh no1 ,may1 she said1 warmly1 you must not speak of that2 you have been quite as much1 or more to me1 dear4 ,you have been a bright sunbeam here1 ,may4 ,you have often brightened my life since ,i came here4 ,oh1 ,miss ,richards1 ,i said1 ,i never dreamt that ,i could make you any happier4 ,you did it without dreaming then1 dear1 she said1 smiling2 and1 ,may1 she added1 what has passed between you and ,claude will make no difference in your love to me1 will it8 ,you will still treat me as a friend1 and let me hear from you sometimes1 won't you1 dear8 ,oh1 ,miss ,richards1 ,i said2 will you let me write to you8 ,then you are not very angry with me8 ,angry with you6 ,why8 she said4 ,for refusing ,claude8 ,yes1 ,i said1 for giving ,claude the answer ,i did4 ,no1 dear1 said ,miss ,richards2 ,i was very much surprised1 ,i own1 and very much disappointed4 ,i had counted so much on your influence with ,claude1 and was building my hopes on it far more than ,i ought to have done4 ,but since then1 ,may1 ,i have sometimes thought that1 perhaps1 ,i ought not to blame you4 ,i felt that ,i had been looking at the matter entirely from my point of view--mine and ,claude's--and that1 perhaps1 dear1 you had a reason for refusing ,claude1 a reason of which ,i should not and could not disapprove4 ,may1 she said1 taking my hand very kindly1 would you mind telling me your reason8 ,i think you know it already1 ,miss ,richards1 ,i said1 as ,i pressed her hand in mine4 ,is it because ,claude is not truly a ,christian1 dear2 is that your reason8 ,yes1 that is it1 ,i said2 ,i dare not have said 'yes' to ,claude1 ,miss ,richards1 in the face of ,god's clear command4 ,i felt ,i could expect no happiness or blessing if ,i were so disobedient4 ,you were quite right1 dear ,may1 said ,miss ,richards1 with tears in her eyes2 ,i should have done just the same4 ,indeed once1 ,may 7you will not mention it to any one1 ,i know71 ,i did exactly the same myself4 ,it was very hard at the time1 said the good little woman1 as the recollection of that sorrow1 now so far behind her in her past life1 came as fresh as if it had only taken place yesterday2 it was very hard at the time1 for ,i loved him very much1 but ,i can see it was all right now4 ,i should have been a miserable1 unhappy wife1 if ,i had married him1 and ,i can thank ,god that ,i gave him up4 ,then you can understand how ,i felt1 dear ,miss ,richards1 ,i said4 ,yes1 indeed1 she said1 earnestly2 and as soon as that thought occurred to me1 as soon as ever it came into my mind1 that that was your reason for refusing ,claude1 ,i felt1 dear1 that you were right1 and ,i was wrong4 ,you were right1 perfectly right in obeying ,god's command2 and ,i was wrong1 very wrong1 ,may1 in wishing you to marry one who is not1 ,i know1 a real ,christian4 ,miss ,richards kissed me very lovingly1 as she said this1 and ,i went home with a light and thankful heart4 ,poor ,miss ,richards6 ,i had never dreamt that there was a touching little love story hidden away somewhere in her past history4 ,i had never dreamt that that was the reason why she had never married1 but had lived that quiet1 unselfish life in her brother's house--living for all around her4 ,and ,i was very thankful that she thought ,i had acted rightly1 and would no longer blame me1 but would be able and ready to sympathise with me in my trial4 ,the busy time of packing and leave-taking was at length over1 and ,maggie and ,i left our first and hitherto our only home4 ,it is a merciful ordering that at such times we are far too busy1 and full of thought and care about the present moment1 to realise what would otherwise overwhelm us with sorrowful feeling4 ,as we drove off from our old home1 we had to turn back for a forgotten key1 and then1 almost directly afterwards1 we arrived at the station1 and ,i had to take the tickets1 look after the luggage1 and select a carriage4 ,my mind was consequently so full of business1 that not until the train had started did ,i realise that ,maggie and ,i had left our dear happy home1 never to return to it again4 ,we were going that day to the old ,manor ,house at ,branston1 where ,maggie's aunts lived4 ,they had kindly expressed a wish to see me1 and had invited me to spend a week with them before going to ,alliston ,hall4 ,maggie was of course delighted at this arrangement1 and ,i was not sorry to have a week's rest1 after the whirl of the last month1 before entering upon my new duties4 ,this was my first visit to the old ,manor ,house1 but ,maggie had spent a very pleasant month there two years before1 and was much looking forward to seeing her aunts again4 ,we had a long journey1 and it was late in the evening when we arrived at ,branston4 ,i should think ,john will be here1 said ,maggie1 as we got out at the very quiet country station4 ,john was there1 awaiting our arrival4 ,john was a fat1 comfortable-looking old coachman1 who had been in the family for more than fifty years1 and looked as if1 in the whole course of them1 he had never had one single day's hard work4 ,john was driving two horses equally fat1 equally comfortable-looking1 and equally1 by their appearance1 denying the bare idea of their ever having had any hard work to do4 ,john touched his hat1 and bade the ladies welcome1 and hoped ,missy was quite well4 ,he was evidently quite at his ease1 and accustomed to be regarded as a family friend4 ,we thanked ,john1 and answered his inquiries1 and then took our seats in the carriage4 ,it was very old1 like ,john1 and quite out of date1 of unwieldy proportions1 and made a great noise in the world4 ,we drove for about a mile and a half1 through rather an uninteresting country2 at least1 so it seemed to me1 after the wooded hills and pretty valleys which had surrounded our dear old home4 ,he went very slowly indeed1 and when there was the slightest rising in the ground1 the horses walked solemnly and cautiously up it1 and ,i was more than ever convinced that the opinion ,i had formed about the easy life that those two comfortable-looking horses had always led was perfectly correct4 ,at last we went through a large iron gate1 and entered a pretty old-fashioned garden1 surrounded by a high wall4 ,at one end of this garden stood the ,manor ,house1 a quaint old place1 built of red brick1 and partly covered with ivy4 ,as we drove past the window1 ,maggie's three aunts looked out1 and nodded and smiled at us2 they did not come out to meet us1 for1 as ,i afterwards discovered1 they were very much afraid of taking cold1 and never ventured into the hall when the front door was open4 ,we were met on the steps by an elderly1 old-fashioned servant1 in a clean white apron and a large cap1 plaited round her face4 ,she took us into the drawing-room1 which was full of quaint and antiquated furniture1 and abounded in sofas and arm-chairs1 covered with very old-fashioned chintz4 ,in this room the three aunts were anxiously awaiting our arrival4 ,they almost overwhelmed us with kindness1 and insisted on our lying down to rest for half an hour on the comfortable sofas till tea was quite ready4 ,the room was very hot1 there was a large fire1 and huge screens stood before the doors1 and sandbags and curtains excluded every possible draught from the windows4 ,i felt very tired and worn out in mind and body1 so ,i was not sorry to obey my kind hostesses and remain quiet for half an hour4 ,it gave me time to think over the events of the past day1 and also to look at ,maggie's three aunts1 who did not leave the room but went on with their work and their talk whilst we were resting4 ,the eldest sister1 ,miss ,jane1 was evidently the ruling spirit in the house4 ,her word was law1 and her quiet firm decision settled every disputed question4 ,there was plenty of firmness1 plenty of good sense1 plenty of real kindliness in her face1 as she bent over the stocking which she was knitting in the most energetic manner1 sitting in one of the large arm-chairs near the fire4 ,the second sister seemed to me to be a weak reflection of the eldest one1 and1 ,i soon found out1 was quite ruled by her in everything1 for she had not strength of character to settle anything on her own responsibility4 ,if ,miss ,jane's word was law to her household1 it was more especially law to ,miss ,hannah4 ,what do you think1 sister8 was the question repeated by her many times in the day1 in answer to which ,miss ,jane would give her opinion calmly and decidedly1 and that opinion was always conclusive4 ,the youngest sister1 ,miss ,louisa1 was considered an invalid4 ,the best of everything was always given to her--the most comfortable chair and the warmest corner1 the best seat in the carriage1 and at all hours of the day little tempting dishes were brought up to induce ,miss ,louisa to eat4 ,miss ,jane and ,miss ,hannah were never tired of waiting on her1 and treated her almost like a spoiled child4 ,they were very kind to me1 these three sisters1 during my stay in the old ,manor ,house4 ,they even said how much they wished ,i would make my home with them2 but1 of course1 ,i could never dream of being a burden to them2 it was very kind of them to take ,maggie1 ,i must make my own way in the world4 ,everything in the ,manor ,house was in the most beautiful order4 ,the carpets looked as if in the whole course of their existence they had never known what it was to have a speck of dust or piece of cotton left on them2 the furniture was so bright that you could see yourself reflected in every part of it2 the drugget on the stairs was spotlessly white1 as clean as if it was washed every morning regularly2 in fact1 the most perfect neatness1 and order1 and cleanliness reigned everywhere throughout the old ,manor ,house4 ,there were no little children to make dirty foot-marks on the clean floors1 or to soil the clean coverings of the chairs and sofas4 ,and the regularity and punctuality in the house quite equalled its neatness and order4 ,at exactly the same moment every morning ,miss ,jane came downstairs to make the tea4 ,at exactly the same instant1 day by day1 the old servants came into the room for prayers4 ,meals were never a moment late--as the clock struck we all took our seats1 and grace was immediately said4 ,at exactly the same hour1 every day1 the sisters took their morning drive or their afternoon nap4 ,the whole place seemed like some huge clock which had been wound up years ago1 long before any one could remember1 and which had been going on and on and on ever since1 without once needing to be wound up1 or set going1 or looked after again4 ,this regular1 unbroken1 undisturbed life in the old ,manor ,house was very pleasant for a little time4 ,it was just what ,i needed1 after all ,i had gone through lately4 ,but ,i fancied that ,i should soon grow rather tired of it4 ,i fancied that ,i should long for the doorbell to ring1 and an interruption to come in my clockwork existence4 ,i should long for a little of the stir and bustle and motion of the world outside1 to creep into the monotony and unchangeableness of the life within4 ,small matters1 even the most insignificant trifles1 became great events to the sisters4 ,if one of the cows or horses took cold1 or if a tree was blown down in the garden1 or if the rooks built a new nest in the plantation1 it was the topic of conversation for days4 ,i was a little troubled as ,i looked forward and pictured to myself the kind of training which ,maggie would have in such a home4 ,i was afraid it would be rather relaxing to her mind and energies1 so that if she came out of it into the coldness and roughness of the outside world she would feel the difference very strongly1 and would not be hardy enough to stand it4 ,i was not afraid that ,maggie would be dull here1 for she was a quiet child1 and fond of playing alone1 and making her own amusements and pleasures2 and there was a small farm close by1 kept by old ,john and his wife1 which was ,maggie's constant resort1 and here1 amongst the chickens1 and ducks1 and lambs1 and calves1 and pigeons1 she found plenty to interest her1 and plenty of recreation and amusement4 ,the aunts were exceedingly kind to her1 and ,i felt sure they would train and teach her to the best of their ability4 ,but what ,i was afraid of was1 that ,maggie's mind would got a little cramped by the smallness of the sphere in which she was living1 and that she would thus become somewhat selfish and self-indulgent4 ,yet all these fears ,i carried one by one to my ,lord1 as they arose2 and ,i felt unspeakable comfort and relief in placing my little sister under ,his ,almighty care4 ,miss ,jane was my favourite amongst the sisters4 ,there was something in her face which made me trust her at once1 and her good common sense and real heartfelt sympathy could always be relied upon4 ,i found myself1 almost before ,i was aware1 giving her a history of our happy home-life1 and telling her many of my anxieties and troubles1 as ,i thought of the future4 ,she made me promise that whenever ,i had a holiday given me ,i would come to the ,manor ,house1 and that ,i would remember that it would never be anything but a very great pleasure to them all to have me there4 ,on ,sunday we all went to the village church together4 ,a new clergyman had just been appointed1 and the sisters were hardly in a frame of mind to enjoy the services1 for they had not ceased mourning over the late rector1 who had been there for forty years1 and who had been obliged to resign on account of ill-health4 ,but as ,i had no recollections of the previous minister1 and1 therefore1 no painful feelings on seeing the new minister enter ,mr4 ,baker's pulpit1 preach from ,mr4 ,baker's ,bible1 and take possession of ,mr4 ,baker's congregation1 the service was a real delight to me4 ,the young clergyman was plain in appearance1 but he had a broad1 high1 thoughtful forehead1 and he was evidently thoroughly in earnest4 ,the sermon went to my heart2 it was on this text3 ,to be spiritually minded is life and peace4 ,i came out of church feeling that the sermon ,i had just heard was one which ,i could not discuss or remark upon1 but was one which ,i should never forget4 ,it was a searching1 practical sermon1 and it had probed my heart to its very depths4 ,what did ,i know of this spiritual-mindedness1 of which ,mr4 ,claremont spoke8 ,what did ,i know of the life and peace which always spring from it8 ,i felt that my thoughts1 my motives1 and my desires were far too much of the earth1 earthy1 far too little raised above the earth to things divine4 ,and hence the want of life in my religion1 hence the want of that deep and abiding peace which is the portion of all true believers in ,jesus4 ,i determined to pray more than ever before for this heavenly-mindedness1 and to let my thoughts dwell less on earth1 more on heaven4 ,the next day ,mr4 ,claremont called at the ,manor ,house1 and was received by the sisters with all respect and dignity4 ,i was practising on the drawing-room piano when he came in1 and was alone with him for a few minutes1 whilst ,miss ,jane1 ,miss ,hannah1 and ,miss ,louisa were arraying themselves in their best caps4 ,he spoke to me very pleasantly1 and ,i took the opportunity of mentioning ,maggie to him1 and he kindly promised to see her sometimes1 and try to influence her aright4 ,illustration ,illustration ,,chapter ,v4 ,,first ,,impressions4 ,illustration ,,it was the day before ,i left the old ,manor ,house4 ,i was packing my box in my bedroom1 and thinking it would be rather hard to leave the kind sisterhood1 and my little ,maggie1 and turn out into the world alone1 when the door opened and ,maggie came in with an open letter in her hand4 ,oh1 ,may1 she said1 what do you think8 ,claude ,ellis is going to be married6 ,my heart beat so loudly that ,i was afraid ,maggie would hear it1 and ,i trembled so much that ,i was obliged to sit down on a chair by the bed4 ,may1 dear1 said ,maggie1 what is the matter8 ,you look so pale and ill4 ,shall ,i get you anything8 ,i am afraid ,i startled you1 coming in like that4 ,oh no1 ,i said1 trying to smile1 ,i am all right4 ,read me your letter1 ,maggie--from whom is it8 ,it is from ,fanny1 ,may4 7,fanny was ,maggie's bosom friend and confidante74 ,shall ,i read it all1 or only the part about ,claude8 ,illustration3 ,a ,,discovery4 ,read the part about ,claude first1 dear1 ,i said1 and ,i will lie down on my bed whilst you read2 ,i feel a little tired with packing1 and ,i mean to take half an hour's rest before dinner4 ,so ,i lay on my bed and turned my face to the wall whilst ,maggie read as follows3 ',and now ,i must tell you the news4 ,who do you think is engaged8 ,you will never guess1 if you guess all night4 ,it is ,claude ,ellis6 ,i will tell you how ,i heard about it4 ,yesterday afternoon ,i went for a walk with ,dash to the ,endle ,farm4 ,as we were coming home1 down that hilly part of the road where you and ,i played hide-and-seek amongst the furze bushes1 ,i saw two people sitting on a stile at the bottom of the hill4 ,one was ,claude ,ellis1 and the other was a young lady4 ,they did not see me until ,i was very near to them1 and then ,claude pretended not to see me and got up1 and they both walked down the lane1 and ,i followed them only a little way behind1 so that ,i could see the young lady very well4 ,she was prettily dressed1 and was tall and very good-looking4 ,she had the loveliest hair ,i ever saw1 done in a number of most wonderful plaits4 ,i am sure she could not have done it herself4 ,claude was bending over her and talking to her2 and he looked very happy1 and so did she4 ,they turned in at the ,parsonage gate1 and ,i went home wondering very much who she was4 ',but ,i had not to wait very long1 for that evening papa came in with the news that ,claude was engaged1 and that the young lady was staying at the ,parsonage4 ,mr4 ,ellis had told him1 so there could be no mistake about it4 ,she is the sister of one of ,claude's ,oxford friends2 and he has been staying with them in ,scotland the last few weeks4 ,her name is ,alice ,fitzgerald1 and she is very rich indeed4 ,papa says she is quite a prize for ,claude1 and that he will be a very rich man now1 with her money and his own money put together4 ,and papa says1 that is a very good thing1 for he has heard that ,claude spent a great many hundred pounds at ,oxford1 and that poor ,mr4 ,ellis would have been almost ruined if ,claude's uncle had not died just then and left him the money4 ,papa thinks ,claude is very extravagant1 and he says he rather pities his wife4 ,but ,i am sure ,claude is very fond of her1 and he looked so happy to-day ,i could not help feeling glad for him4 ,he seemed so miserable the last time he came home4 ,do you remember when we met him in ,bush ,lane1 how cross he was1 and how he contradicted everything we said1 and looked as if he had just heard all his relations were dead8 ,well1 it's getting late1 and ,i must end my letter4' ,that's all about ,claude1 ,may1 said ,maggie1 as she stopped reading4 ,wouldn't you like to see ,miss ,alice ,fitzgerald8 ,when ,maggie had gone downstairs1 taking her new writing-case with her1 that she might begin at once to answer her little friend's letter1 ,i got up and locked my door1 and then sat down to think over what ,i had heard4 ,the news of ,claude's engagement had come upon me like a thunder-clap4 ,i tried to reason with myself that ,i ought to be very glad that ,claude was engaged1 and that as ,i could not be his wife he had found some one else to make him happy4 ,and yet it was so soon1 so very soon1 for ,claude to forget his love for me4 ,i had thought that he cared for me more than that4 ,i had thought that he held my love too dear1 so quickly and so easily to exchange it for another's4 ,i suppose it was my pride that was wounded1 and that the tears which came1 in spite of myself1 and rolled down my cheeks1 were tears of mortification4 ,i felt very vexed with myself that it should be so4 ,i called myself all sorts of hard names1 and wiped my eyes1 and tried to think how nice it was that all was so comfortably settled for me2 how delightful it was that ,i could feel that ,i had done the right thing1 and yet that ,i had not brought a gloom over the whole of ,claude's life4 ,and yet1 at the bottom of my heart1 ,i detected a secret hope1 which had been hidden there the last few weeks1 that1 some day or other1 ,claude might give up his infidel notions and become a real ,christian1 and that then we might meet again and become to each other what he had so earnestly wished us to be4 ,i had even thought that perhaps this trouble might be the means of making ,claude look into the reality of religion1 and believe in that ,saviour who is the only true source of comfort1 and that thus the great obstacle to our union might be taken away4 ,not that ,claude was by any means my beau-ideal of all that a man and a husband should be4 ,but then he was1 after all1 the nicest man ,i had ever met1 and it might be that my ideal was a thing of imagination1 never met with in real life4 ,and on this particular day ,i was feeling very lonely and desolate4 ,i was about to turn out into the world alone--alone amongst strangers4 ,i was going to a great and fashionable household1 where1 no doubt1 ,i should be looked down upon1 and despised as poor1 and a dependent4 ,i had no one to take care of me1 or to shield me from the rough places which ,i should be sure to come across4 ,there was no one in the world that really belonged to me except my sister ,maggie1 and she was but a child4 ,i felt very unprotected1 desolate1 and forsaken4 ,i took up my ,bible and turned wearily over the pages1 if1 perchance1 my eyes might fall upon some words of comfort4 ,and the words which caught my attention were these1 in the thirteenth chapter of ,st4 ,john's ,gospel3 ,having loved ,his own which were in the world1 ,he loved them unto the end4 ,unto the end1 an unchanging1 an unvarying1 an untiring love4 ,i had chosen that love in preference to ,claude's4 ,had ,i made a bad exchange8 ,i had given up a love which had proved itself1 at the best1 but fickle and shallow1 and ,i had chosen ,christ's love1 the love of ,him of whom it was written1 that having loved ,his own which were in the world1 ,he loved them unto the end4 ,his 'own4' ,did that indeed mean me8 ,or did it only apply to the few disciples gathered round ,him in these last hours of ,his life on earth8 ,was it only these whom ,he loved unto the end8 ,or could ,i take up the words1 and make them my star of comfort8 ,could ,i make them apply to myself now1 as they applied to the apostles then8 ,was it true now that ,i was ,his--,his own8 ,was it true that ,i was in the world--in the wide1 desolate world1 alone1 just as these apostles were so soon to be1 and was it true that ,he would love me in spite of all my failings and all my sins1 and that ,he would love me unto the end8 ,could it be true8 ,another text came into my mind3 ,jesus ,christ1 the same yesterday1 to-day1 and for ever4 ,these words surely gave me the right to take the other words and make them mine4 ,what ,jesus was then1 in the yesterday of the past1 so ,he is now1 to-day2 what ,he was to the apostles1 so ,he is to me1 and so ,he ever will be--the same in love1 the same in sympathy1 the same in constancy4 ,but ,i am so cold to ,him1 ,i thought1 so ungrateful1 so sinful4 ,my love is so changeable and fluctuating4 ,surely ,he will not1 ,he cannot1 in spite of all this1 go on loving me--loving me unchangeably4 ,and yet1 ,i know that ,christ's love for us1 if it exists at all1 must exist quite independently of anything in us1 for what can ,he see in the very best of men to win ,his love8 ,and ,i remembered that these very apostles1 of whom this was written1 were very faulty and imperfect in their love to ,him4 ,only the very next day one of them1 the one who had professed the most love for ,him1 denied ,him with oaths and curses1 saying1 again and again1 ,i know not the man4 ,and every one of them1 even the disciple whom ,jesus loved1 forsook ,him in ,his hour of need and fled4 ,and yet of these very men1 with all their failings and imperfections1 it was written3 ,having loved ,his own which were in the world1 ,he loved them unto the end4 ,my heart grew light again1 and ,i went downstairs quite comforted and happy1 and without a single wish in my heart to change places with ,miss ,alice ,fitzgerald4 ,the next morning ,i left the ,manor ,house soon after breakfast4 ,i was followed to the door by ,miss ,jane bidding me1 in her calm1 decided way1 to be sure to choose a carriage with at least two elderly ladies in it1 because1 my dear1 one reads of such awful robberies and murders taking place in railway carriages6 ,followed also by ,miss ,hannah1 entreating me to remember what ,miss ,jane had said1 and also to be quite sure that the guard had fastened the door well before the train started4 ,followed even by ,miss ,louisa1 suggesting the advisability of always having both windows closed1 and both ventilators securely fastened1 lest any draught should enter the carriage4 ,followed1 not only to the door but as far as the garden gate1 by my little ,maggie1 sobbing as if her heart would break1 and refusing to be comforted4 ,it was very hard to leave them all1 and especially to leave my little sister1 and to go forth alone into the world2 but the words which had been my comfort yesterday were my strength now1 and the language of my heart was1-- ,i will fear no evil1 for ,thou art with me4 ,how much ,i wondered1 as ,i was travelling that day1 what ,miss ,evelyn ,trafford would be like1 and of what my duties1 as companion1 would consist4 ,but it was of no use wondering2 that evening ,i should know4 ,i had a long1 tiring journey1 having to change my train no less than four times1 and to wait at cold1 cheerless junctions for several hours4 ,but in spite of the sisters' oft-repeated predictions of the reverse1 ,i and my luggage arrived safe and sound at the little station of ,alliston4 ,as soon as ,i left the carriage1 a footman came up to me1 and1 touching his hat1 inquired if ,i was ,miss ,lindsay4 ,when ,i answered in the affirmative1 he took charge of my luggage1 and led the way to a carriage which was waiting for me outside the station4 ,we drove on in the darkness for some distance1 through what seemed to be country roads and lanes1 for ,i could see no lights by the wayside1 and nothing to break the darkness of the night4 ,after a long time the carriage stopped in front of a small house1 which ,i saw must be a lodge1 for by means of the light which came from a diamond-paned window ,i could see a woman opening some large iron gates for the carriage to go through4 ,when we had passed the lodge1 ,i expected every moment to reach the house1 and my heart beat faster and faster in expectation of my arrival4 ,but we went on and on and on for at least a mile before the lights of the great house appeared1 and we stopped before the door4 ,the footman got down from the carriage and rang the bell4 ,the door was opened by a grave and solemn butler1 and ,i went inside1 feeling as if ,i were walking in my sleep1 so tired and confused was ,i with my long journey4 ,i was ushered through a spacious hall1 filled with stags' horns and old swords1 and stuffed birds and foreign curiosities1 and old oak cabinets1 up a very wide staircase to a room at the top of the house4 ,it was not a large room1 but it was very pretty and comfortable1 and a cheerful fire was blazing in the grate4 ,the maid who had shown me my room told me that ,miss ,trafford would be glad to see me as soon as ,i was ready1 so ,i hastened to take off my dusty travelling dress and to make myself ready to go downstairs4 ,after about half an hour the maid came back again to conduct me4 ,we went through several long passages1 past a number of doors1 until we arrived at ,miss ,evelyn ,trafford's room4 ,the maid opened the door and ,i went in4 ,the gas was not lighted1 but the fire was blazing brightly1 and by its light ,i could see a young lady lying on a low couch on one side of it4 ,she was very pretty1 with small1 delicate features1 and a beautiful fair complexion1 and appeared to be about seventeen or eighteen years of age4 ,on the sofa beside her were lying two kittens curled up on a velvet cushion1 and in front of the fire was a little spaniel fast asleep on the hearth-rug4 ,as soon as the door opened ,miss ,trafford hold out her hand to me4 ,come in1 ,miss ,lindsay1 she said2 come to the fire2 you must be tired and cold2 it's dreadfully cold out1 is it not8 ,there1 ,flossy1 get up and let ,miss ,lindsay come to the fire4 ,she had a pretty1 childish manner1 which was very winning and pleasant4 ,i am so glad you have come1 she said1 when ,i was seated1 and you look so nice4 ,do you know ,i thought you would be dreadful1 before you came6 ,when papa said one day that it was so dull for me up here alone he must get me a companion1 ,i actually cried1 ,miss ,lindsay4 ,it was very silly of me1 ,i know1 but then ,i always am a silly child4 ,i pictured to myself what this companion would be like1 and ,i thought she would have grey curls1 and spectacles1 and a brown alpaca dress1 and always talk as if she were talking out of a book4 ,i could not help laughing heartily when she said this4 ,oh1 ,i am so glad you can laugh1 said ,miss ,trafford2 the companion1 in the picture ,i made of her1 never laughed--she only smiled1 as if she was thinking1 ',how foolish every one in the world is1 and especially this weak-minded child ,i have to take care of4' ,this1 of course1 made me laugh again1 to ,miss ,trafford's great satisfaction4 ,papa said he would get me somebody young and charming if he could1 and he told me when he was writing about you how old you were1 but ,i didn't think ,i should like you a bit1 and ,i didn't want you to come at all4 ,i hope you will change your mind soon1 ,miss ,trafford1 ,i said2 ,i will try not to be very disagreeable4 ,oh1 ,i have changed my mind1 she said1 quickly2 ,i changed it as soon as you came in at the door4 ,i always judge by first sight4 ,if ,i love people when ,i first see them1 ,i always love them2 and if ,i hate them1 ,i always hate them4 ,i never change my mind afterwards4 ,do you think that is a good plan8 ,i said4 ,don't you think it is rather an unfair way of judging8 ,oh1 ,i don't know about that1 she said2 it always answers very well for me4 ,i liked you when you came in at the door1 and ,i mean always to like you4 ,i wish ,ambrose would bring the dinner1 the gong sounded long since4 ,i am sure it is time for it1 and you must be so hungry4 ,miss ,lindsay1 will you please ring the bell8 ,one of the footmen soon appeared with a small round table1 which he placed between ,miss ,trafford's couch and my chair4 ,the table was already prepared for dinner1 with everything in its proper place4 ,oh1 it is so nice to have you here1 said ,miss ,trafford4 ,do you know1 ,i haven't been downstairs to dinner for five months4 ,isn't that dreadful8 ,and ,i have always had dinner quite alone1 except twice1 when there was no one staying here1 and then papa came up to my room and had dinner here4 ,it was such fun2 he and ,i had this little table1 and ,ambrose came in here to wait4 ,i laughed all the time1 and so did papa2 it seemed such a little room after the dining-room1 and the three men did not at all know where to stand1 because there was no room for them to come close to the table4 ,then you have only been ill five months8 ,i said4 ,only five months6 ,as if that were not long enough1 she said2 it seems more like five years to me6 ,yes1 it is a long time1 ,i said2 but ,i was afraid you might have been ill longer still4 ,i do not know what made you ill4 ,didn't papa tell you8 ,how funny of him6 ,now1 if ,i had been writing to you1 ,i should have told you the whole story4 ,what did he tell you8 ,he only said that he wanted a companion for his daughter1 and asked for my references4 ,that was just like papa1 said ,evelyn2 he always does everything in what he calls a business-like way1 which ,i always say means never telling anybody anything4 ,will you tell me what made you ill8 ,i asked4 ,yes1 it was that young horse1 she said2 such a beauty6 ,you must see him1 ,miss ,lindsay2 he is quite black1 and has a white star on his forehead1 and his name is ,wildfire1 because he flies along so fast4 ,papa said he was too young for me to ride2 but ,i was not a bit afraid1 and ,cousin ,donald asked me to go out with him for an hour4 ,cousin ,donald is very fond of me1 she said1 laughing2 he would like me to marry him2 but that would never do1 you know4 ,papa says he is very poor1 and he would not hear of such a thing4 ,but ,cousin ,donald is very good-looking1 and ,i like riding with him1 he rides so well1 and we had a splendid ride that day2 but then ,wildfire threw me1 and all my fun was over4 ,were you much hurt8 ,i asked4 ,yes1 she said2 the doctors said my spine was injured2 only a little though1 she added1 quickly1 and if ,i keep very1 very still1 and never walk about for a year1 they think ,i shall be quite well again4 ,oh dear6 ,i wish the year was over now6 ,but it will be much nicer now you have come4 ,you must tell me1 please1 ,miss ,trafford1 what my duties are1 ,i said4 ,oh1 don't talk about duties1 she said1 pretending to stop her ears2 ,i can't bear the word4 ,i never could do anything because it was a duty4 ,that's just the sort of word the companion in my picture used to say4 ,she used to draw up her head and look through her spectacles1 and say1 solemnly1 ',miss ,evelyn1 remember your duties4' ,but you will tell me what my work is to be here1 ,i repeated2 ,sir ,william did not mention it in his letter4 ,you won't have any work1 she said1 except to amuse me2 you are to be my friend1 if you like to call that work--to read to me1 and talk to me1 and have meals with me1 and make the year go a little quicker4 ,that isn't very hard work1 ,i said4 ,oh1 ,i don't know1 she answered2 you'll find me a very tiresome child sometimes1 and if you had been the brown alpaca dress1 and grey curls1 and spectacles1 ,i would have led you such a life that in less than a week you would have said to papa1 ',sir ,william ,trafford1 ,i must beg to resign the charge of your flippant and wilful daughter4' ,before you came1 papa said we were to have some profitable reading in a morning1 and story-books only after luncheon2 but ,i hate profitable reading1 and papa never makes me do what ,i hate4 ,what kind of reading do you mean8 ,i inquired4 ,oh1 history and geography1 and all such things2 ,i never could bear them4 ,what is the good of knowing who ,henry ,,viii4's wives were1 and which of them he beheaded2 and nearly giving oneself brain fever in trying to remember what relation ,john of ,gaunt was to everybody else4 ,i am very fond of history1 ,i said2 ,i think some parts are quite as interesting as a story-book4 ,oh dear1 oh dear6 she said4 ,you are talking just like the brown alpaca dress6 ,i shall expect you to pull the spectacles out of your pocket in a minute4 ,and then ,i could do nothing but laugh1 and in a moment she had changed the conversation1 and was rattling on about something else4 ,there are not many visitors here just now1 she said2 you'll see them all by and by4 ,they generally pay me a visit after dinner4 ,and mind you stop when they come2 ,i want you to see them all4 ,the brown alpaca dress always got up when any one came in1 and made a very stiff bow1 and went away and shut herself up in her bedroom4 ,so mind you don't do the same2 you must look at all the people well1 and tell me what you think of them1 when they are gone4 ,oh1 ,i should not like to do that1 ,i said4 ,why not8 she said1 laughingly4 ,i don't mind telling you what ,i think of any one4 ,there is ,lady ,eldridge2 she is very grand and stately1 and ,i don't like her a bit2 and there is ,lord ,moreton--he never has a word to say1 and is very stupid2 but he has a quantity of money and a splendid estate1 and papa is always saying what a nice young man he is4 ,and so he may be1 perhaps1 in some ways2 at least he is very harmless1 but then he squints1 and ,i never could marry any one who squinted--could you1 ,miss ,lindsay8 ,i don't know1 ,i said1 laughing2 ,i never thought about it4 ,well1 ,i couldn't1 it would drive me mad4 ,and then there is ,alicia ,hay--papa's old maid cousin--and if you ask me what ,i think of her1 ,i think she is trying very hard to get married and never will4 ,and then there is ,lilla--but ,i won't tell you about them all now1 you will see them for yourself by and by4 ,illustration ,illustration ,,chapter ,,vi4 ,,alliston ,,hall4 ,illustration ,,shall ,i ring the bell1 ,miss ,trafford8 ,i inquired1 when dinner was over4 ,don't call me ,miss ,trafford1 she said1 quickly2 call me ,evelyn1 it sounds much nicer1 and is six letters shorter4 ,but perhaps ,sir ,william would not like it1 ,i objected4 ,oh1 papa likes everything ,i like1 she said1 decidedly4 ,i wish you to call me ,evelyn1 and ,i mean to call you by your first name too--',miss ,lindsay' sounds just like the brown alpaca4 ,what is your ,christian name8 ,my name is ,may1 ,i said2 and ,i shall be very glad if you will call me ,may1 instead of ,miss ,lindsay2 ,i shall fancy ,i am at home again4 ,well then it's settled1 ,may1 she said1 laughing2 and now you may ring the bell4 ,soon after the dessert was cleared away1 a rustling of silk was heard in the passages1 the door opened1 and three ladies entered the room4 ,the first was a stout1 elderly lady1 very handsomely dressed4 ,in her younger days ,i felt sure she had been a beauty1 and ,i think she must have been greatly admired4 ,but she had1 ,i thought1 an unpleasant expression in her face1 and a haughty and disagreeable manner4 ,well1 ,evelyn1 she said1 as she swept past me without a word or a look1 how are you feeling now8 ,oh1 very nicely1 thank you1 ,lady ,eldridge1 she said2 ,miss ,lindsay and ,i have had quite a pleasant chat together4 ,miss ,lindsay1 ah6 ,yes1 ,i see1 said ,lady ,eldridge1 turning to me for the first time2 the young person whom ,sir ,william has engaged as your companion1 ,evelyn1 ,i believe4 ,and then she took no further notice of me1 but sat upon the sofa at ,evelyn's side1 fanning herself vigorously4 ,there was something in ,lady ,eldridge's manner which made me uncomfortable and uneasy1 and ,i had withdrawn to the table with my work as the two other ladies advanced to the fire1 not intending to take any part in the conversation1 when a pleasant1 gentle voice by my side said kindly1 ,you must be tired with your long journey1 ,miss ,lindsay2 had you to stop many times by the way8 ,i looked up and met one of the sweetest faces ,i have ever seen4 ,it was not exactly a pretty face1 and the features were far from handsome1 but there was such a beautiful expression upon it that you could never have called it plain4 ,i should have been very puzzled if any one had asked me how old she was4 ,at one time she looked quite young1 not more than four or five and twenty2 and the moment afterwards ,i detected strong marks of care1 or anxiety1 or trouble on the face1 which made me think she must be at least ten or fifteen years older4 ,i told her about my journey1 and then she asked me one question after another1 in the kindest1 pleasantest way1 as if she really cared to know all ,i had to tell her4 ,she led me on from one subject to another1 and ,i found myself telling her of our old home2 of ,maggie1 and my hopes and fears for her2 and of many other things1 whilst ,lady ,eldridge and ,evelyn were talking together on the sofa2 and all the chill and repression which had come over me when ,lady ,eldridge entered the room entirely passed away1 and ,i felt perfectly at my ease again4 ,when ,i told her of our leaving our dear old home1 her eyes filled with tears1 and she said quietly1 ,i know what a trial that is2 ,i have gone through it myself4 ,what a comfort that there is one home where there will be no parting and no going away6 ,such a happy1 thankful feeling came into my heart as she said this4 ,there was something in the way she said it1 as well as in the words themselves1 which made me feel sure that my new friend was one who loved the same ,lord ,i loved4 ,and1 if ,i had felt drawn to her before1 ,i was doubly drawn to her now4 ,we had no opportunity for further conversation1 for ,evelyn was growing weary of ,lady ,eldridge1 and invited us to come nearer to the fire4 ,put away your work1 you industrious girl1 she said to me4 ,the brown alpaca always had her work close to her fingers' ends at a moment's notice4 ,my dear ,evelyn1 said ,lady ,eldridge1 a most profitable way for a young person4 ,but ,evelyn took no notice of her1 and turned to my new friend4 ,where have you been all day1 ,lilla8 she said4 ,you have only been to see me three times4 ,have ,i been so negligent as that1 dear8 she said4 ,i must mend my manners to-morrow2 but ,i have been very busy writing letters1 so you must forgive me4 ,until ,i had turned to the fire ,i had not looked at the third lady who had come into the room4 ,she was sitting languidly in an arm-chair by the fire1 with her eyes fixed on the door1 as if she were looking anxiously for some one to enter4 ,she was decidedly advanced in middle age1 yet she was dressed like a girl of seventeen3 in a low1 white evening dress1 and a most elaborate gold chain and locket round her neck4 ,she looked dissatisfied and restless1 as if she was always striving to reach some object which was eluding her grasp4 ,she took no particular interest in the general conversation which was going on1 but seemed either lost in thought1 or not thinking at all4 ,lady ,eldridge was giving an account of ,eastern life1 which she described as the most delightful life on earth4 ,i found she had lived many years abroad1 and was going to ,constantinople the following spring4 ,she could not settle in ,england more than a year at a time1 she said4 ,those miserable skies2 those depressing fogs2 those dreadful rainy days1 enough to make any one commit suicide who has lived in the ,east1 my dear4 ,and ,lady ,eldridge fanned herself again at the bare recollection of it4 ,she kept up a continual run of conversation for about half an hour2 but she gave me the idea of being a woman who had hardly opened a book in the whole course of her life1 and who was thoroughly ignorant of everything except the worldly ways of the worldly world--in which she seemed to be anything but ignorant4 ,but her chattering was brought to a close by a rap at the door1 and the announcement that the gentlemen had arrived in the drawing-room4 ,those tiresome men6 said ,lady ,eldridge4 ,as if they could not amuse themselves for half an hour without sending for us4 ,well1 ,alicia1 ,i suppose we must obey the lords of creation and go downstairs4 ,good-night1 ,evelyn1 my dear4 ,and1 without taking the slightest notice of me1 ,lady ,eldridge sailed out of the room4 ,the other two ladies said good-night to both of us and followed in her train1 and ,evelyn and ,i were left alone4 ,well1 what do you think of them8 she said1 as soon as the door was shut4 ,bring your chair close to the fire and tell me4 ,i think that the lady who sat near me has one of the sweetest faces that ,i ever saw1 ,i said4 ,i could quite believe in any one loving her at first sight4 ,oh1 ,lilla1 yes2 isn't she nice8 said ,evelyn1 carelessly4 ,every one seems to like poor ,lilla4 ,why do you call her poor8 ,i asked4 ,oh1 because she has had so much trouble1 ,evelyn answered2 she was engaged to a young officer a good many years ago1 and it was broken off2 his father persuaded him to marry some one with more money4 ,lilla is papa's first cousin1 and she often stays here2 it is very dull for her at home2 her father has married again1 and his new wife is such a horrid old thing1 who treats ,lilla as if she were a child of twelve4 ,but ,lilla never complains2 she is very patient4 ,and what did you think of ,lady ,eldridge8 ,i had rather not say1 please1 ,evelyn2 ,i do not think it is very kind to talk about people so much4 ,oh1 it won't hurt ,lady ,eldridge1 ,i assure you1 she answered2 she is miles too high up in the world to be hurt by anything you or ,i may say or think of her--at least she thinks that she is4 ,papa says she has nothing to boast of1 if her antecedents were looked into4 ,she was quite poor1 and lived in some remote ,eastern city1 when her good looks attracted ,sir ,hugh ,eldridge's attention1 as he was passing through the place1 and he married her4 ,but she thinks herself a perfect queen now1 and lords it over everybody4 ,i often pity her poor maid4 ,it is ',lawrence1 here2' ',lawrence1 do this2' ',lawrence1 do that2' from morning till night2 for ,lady ,eldridge thinks it is a disgrace to do the simplest thing for herself1 or even to know how it ought to be done4 ,she boasts of being ignorant as a baby about all money matters1 and cannot even pay a bill for herself4 ,silly old thing6 said ,evelyn1 contemptuously4 ,i have more respect for ,alicia ,hay than ,i have for her4 ,is that the lady who sat in the arm-chair by the fire8 ,i asked4 ,yes1 poor thing6 said ,evelyn4 ,she wouldn't talk a bit to-night4 ,i know why1 just as well as if ,i had been there4 ,it was just because ,lord ,moreton didn't take her down to dinner2 and ,evelyn laughed at the thought of it4 ,didn't you see how she looked at the door every time a step came in the passage8 ,because sometimes papa comes up for a few minutes on his way to the drawing-room1 to cheer me up a little1 and sometimes he brings one of the gentlemen with him2 but they didn't come to-night1 so poor ,alicia was quite disconsolate2 she had not the heart to talk to any one4 ,and if she only know--oh1 if she only knew--what ,lord ,moreton really thinks of her6 ,poor thing6 ,i said4 ,is she very fond of him8 ,oh1 not of him in particular1 said ,evelyn1 laughing2 but you see poor ,alicia is getting old2 she really is1 though she would be very angry if any one told her so1 and she wants very much to be married1 and to have a home of her own4 ,i was not sorry when ,evelyn asked me to ring the bell for her maid ,clemence1 and ,i was at liberty to go to my own room1 for ,i was very tired after all the travelling and excitement ,i had gone through that day4 ,i lay awake for many hours1 watching the flickering of the firelight1 and listening for the striking of a large clock in the hall1 whose deep1 sonorous voice could be heard in every part of the great house4 ,the next morning ,i awoke before it was light1 and had been dressed for more than an hour before ,clemence came to conduct me to her young mistress's dressing-room4 ,i found ,evelyn lying on a sofa by the dressing-room fire1 in a pretty pink dressing-gown1 and with her fair hair hanging down in long waving tresses4 ,she looked a perfect picture1 ,i thought1 and one that any artist would take pleasure in painting4 ,she seemed pleased to see me1 but was languid and tired1 and not so much inclined for talking as she had been the night before4 ,breakfast was brought up soon after ,i arrived1 and1 whilst we were eating it1 the door opened1 and an elderly gentleman came in4 ,he had evidently been very handsome in his younger days1 and there was a cheerful1 pleasant1 good-tempered expression on his face1 which made him look younger than ,i imagine he really was4 ,oh1 papa1 said ,evelyn1 brightening up the moment that she saw him1 ,i am so glad you have come6 ,how naughty of you not to come last night6 ,i wanted you so much to see ,miss ,lindsay--,may1 ,i call her now1 she added1 laughing4 ,sir ,william shook hands with me very kindly1 and said he hoped ,i should soon feel at home1 and that his little daughter would not wear me out with her chattering4 ,now1 papa1 what nonsense6 said ,evelyn1 gaily4 ,may was at home when she had been here ten minutes1 were you not1 ,may8 ,and she likes chattering just as much as ,i do4 ,you talk just as if she was the brown alpaca ,i told you about4 ,but she is not a bit like her2 she is so nice1 papa1 and we get on together famously4 ,that's right1 said ,sir ,william1 seating himself on the sofa2 and how is my little puss this morning8 ,only a little tired1 papa1 she said1 wearily2 the pain kept me awake last night4 ,he looked at her very anxiously1 ,i thought1 as he stooped over her1 and gently arranged her pillows1 as carefully and tenderly as any woman could have done4 ,keep very quiet this morning1 little girl1 he said2 ,i will not let any of them come near you4 ,miss ,lindsay will read to you1 and you can lie quite still4 ,oh no1 thank you1 papa1 she said1 cheerfully1 let them all come2 it does me good to have people coming in and out2 it amuses me2 they are so funny1 some of them1 aren't they1 papa8 ,don't they make you laugh sometimes8 ,sir ,william made some evasive answer1 and glanced towards the end of the room1 where ,i was sitting at work4 ,oh1 you need not mind her1 papa1 said ,evelyn aloud1 she is not the brown alpaca4 ,i mean to tell her everything1 and to talk just the same when she is in the room as when she is out of it4 ,sir ,william seemed rather amused at the rapid friendship that had sprung up between us1 but it did not appear to displease him1 for he smiled kindly at me1 and gave me a few more words of welcome as he rose to leave the room4 ,but when he got to the door he said gravely3 ,lord ,moreton is very anxious to see you this morning1 ,evelyn2 shall ,i let him come when you got into the other room8 ,evelyn laughed heartily4 ,yes1 if it is any amusement to him1 papa1 she said2 ,i am sure he amuses me4 ,oh6 ,if you had only seen him the other day2 he came up when ,alicia ,hay was sitting beside me1 and neither of them spoke a word4 ,he sat looking at me1 and she sat looking at him2 and they were both perfectly stupid4 ,lord ,moreton is a very worthy young man1 ,evelyn1 said her father1 gravely4 ,oh1 a very worthy young man1 she repeated1 in exactly the same tone1 so exactly that ,i could scarcely keep from smiling2 but the worst is1 papa1 that ,i don't like very worthy young men2 they are so dreadfully uninteresting--at least1 if ,lord ,moreton is a specimen--they sit and look at you1 and then clear their throats1 and try to make some feeble remark1 and break down in the middle4 ,oh dear6 ,it is so amusing4 ,now ,cousin ,donald never does that2 he can make himself very agreeable2 ,i wish he would come to see me4 ,donald has other business to attend to1 said her father1 rather sharply2 he has no time to lose now4 ,donald must make his way in the world4 ,yes1 she said1 rather sadly2 poor ,donald6 ,i do not know why he need be pitied1 said ,sir ,william1 dryly2 if he will only work1 he will soon be able to earn a very fair income4 ,but ,donald does not like work1 said ,evelyn2 he says he would like to be independent1 and to have plenty--plenty of money4 ,he never will have plenty of money1 said ,sir ,william1 almost angrily1 as he shut the door4 ,papa does not like poor ,donald1 she said1 as soon as he was out of hearing2 but he is so handsome1 and he has such nice brown eyes4 ,i do not know why papa dislikes him so much4 ,i think it is because he is afraid he likes me too much4 ,it is very strange that he does like me4 ,i should have thought that he would have hated me2 because if ,i had never been born1 ,cousin ,donald would have lived here1 and would have been just like papa's son4 ,that makes me feel so sorry for him4 ,is he much older than you8 ,i asked4 ,yes1 he is six years older1 said ,evelyn2 and papa and mamma had been married a long time1 and they thought they would not have any children of their own1 so papa was talking of adopting ,cousin ,donald1 and educating him and leaving the property to him4 ,uncle and aunt were very pleased about it1 because they have so many children4 ,cousin ,donald is the eldest of thirteen now1 and there were plenty of them even then1 so they were quite willing to spare him to papa4 ,but of course when ,i came1 ,i put an end to all that little plan1 she said1 laughing4 ,and where is your cousin ,donald now8 ,oh1 poor fellow1 he is in a bank1 and he does so hate doing sums2 he always did4 ,they make his head ache1 he says4 ,he likes riding and shooting and fishing1 and all such things1 just the kind of life he would have had here1 you know2 it is very hard for him1 is it not8 ,and ,i am afraid he is rather lazy1 and they say he wastes his money4 ,but he is so good-looking1 and ,i really think he cannot help it--yes1 ,i really think he cannot help it4 ,cannot help what8 ,i inquired4 ,oh1 being extravagant1 she explained4 ,he buys beautiful little bouquets for his button-hole1 and all sorts of little unnecessary things of that kind1 and the money goes very fast4 ,but it must be so hard to see pretty things and not to be able to buy them4 ,i should never be able to do that2 as soon as ever ,i see anything ,i like1 ,i send into the shop and have it brought out to me at once4 ,i smiled to myself as ,i went on with my work1 for ,i was thinking how different ,evelyn's experience had been from mine4 ,she seemed to guess my thoughts4 ,i suppose you have not always had everything that you wanted and wished for8 she said4 ,everything ,i really wanted--yes1 ,i answered2 everything ,i may have wished for--no4 ,oh dear6 ,was it not very tiresome8 she asked4 ,i think it was good for me1 ,i said4 ,good for you6 she repeated4 ,that's just like the brown alpaca4 ,how could it be good for you8 ,i think it made me enjoy all the more the good things which were given me1 ,i said--things that perhaps you might have thought nothing of1 and things which would have given you no pleasure at all4 ,what sort of things8 asked ,evelyn4 ,oh1 any little present that was given me2 any new book1 or picture2 any little pleasure1 or treat of any kind4 ,we had so few new things1 that when anything fresh came1 it was prized and valued more than ,i can tell you4 ,i really think it gave us more enjoyment than far grander things would give you4 ,oh1 ,i dare say1 said ,evelyn2 there are some things that ,i wish for just a minute1 and then when they come ,i do not care for them4 ,if you only saw the number of books on those shelves1 the leaves of which have never been out4 ,i wished for them1 and ordered them1 but when they arrived ,i had given up wishing for them1 and ,i have never begun to read them4 ,i thought of the little shelves at home which had held my small library1 each volume of which was the prized gift of some friend1 and which had been read and re-read1 until ,i know their contents almost by heart4 ,before ,i had been long at ,alliston ,hall1 ,i came to the conclusion that the enjoyment of this life is much more evenly distributed than many of us think4 ,for where pleasures are many1 the enjoyment that they give is comparatively small2 whilst where they are few and far between1 they cause so much larger an amount of enjoyment1 that the lives of those who receive them are quite as full of sunshine and brightness as they would be if their pleasures were more in number4 ,illustration ,,chapter ,,vii4 ,,conscience ,,at ,,work4 ,illustration ,,my life at ,alliston ,hall was a very happy one4 ,day after day went by without any care or anxiety1 and every one was so kind to me that ,i could not feel lonely or homeless any longer4 ,the more ,i knew of ,evelyn ,trafford1 the more ,i loved her4 ,in spite of her light1 careless way of talking1 there was a great deal of genuine kind feeling in her1 and ,i am sure she did all in her power to make me happy4 ,i never once remember1 the whole time ,i was with her1 feeling uncomfortable on account of my position in the house4 ,both ,sir ,william and ,evelyn treated me as if ,i were one of the family1 and ,i received nothing but kindness from their numerous visitors and friends4 ,lady ,eldridge was the only exception4 ,she1 whenever she made her appearance at ,alliston ,hall1 thought it her duty to keep me fully aware who she1 ,lady ,eldridge1 was1 and who ,i1 ,may ,lindsay1 was1 and of the immense and immeasurable distance between us4 ,the guests at ,alliston ,hall did not pay very long visits1 so ,i had constant change and variety in my life1 and heard and saw a great deal more of the outer world than in our quiet country home4 ,and yet1 although everything around me was so pleasant1 and though every one was so kind to me1 ,i had not been many months at ,alliston ,hall before ,i began to feel restless and unhappy4 ,for ,i felt that ,i was not walking so closely with ,god as ,i had done before4 ,i had become cold and careless1 rising late in the morning and hurrying over my prayers1 and then going through the day in an idle1 careless spirit1 hardly ever thinking of my ,lord or trying to please ,him4 ,for some time this did not make me at all unhappy4 ,i had so much to think of1 and there were so many pleasant visitors staying in the house1 and so many books to be read1 and there was so much to be done to amuse ,evelyn and to make the days pass happily for her1 that ,i gave myself no time to think about the state of my soul4 ,but the visitors left and we were quiet again2 and then ,i felt an empty1 dissatisfied feeling in my heart1 which ,i cannot put into words4 ,my conscience was very busy now1 and brought to my recollection all my neglect of my best and dearest ,friend1 all my coldness and indifference to ,him4 ,i would have given anything to feel ,his presence as in times past2 but ,he seemed far away from me1 and ,i felt too cold even to pray to ,him4 ,but though ,i had so terribly forgotten ,him1 my ,lord still remembered me4 ,it was ,sunday afternoon4 ,evelyn had fallen asleep on the sofa1 and ,i went out into the garden till she awoke4 ,there had been showers all the morning1 but now the sun was shining brightly1 and the rain-drops were sparkling like diamonds on the grass4 ,i went along one of the grassy terraces1 and turned down a quiet path1 shut in by evergreens1 which led by a gentle descent down to the sea4 ,this was my favourite walk1 and ,i always chose it when ,i came out alone4 ,there were several seats on this path1 so situated as to catch a peep of the sea through the shrubs and trees1 which grew down to its very edge4 ,as ,i turned a corner in this winding path1 ,i suddenly came upon ,miss ,lilla ,irvine1 sitting upon one of the seats reading her ,bible4 ,i apologised for disturbing her1 and was going to turn back1 when she asked me if ,i would not stay a little and read with her4 ,you and ,i love the same ,lord1 ,may1 she said2 ,i know we do1 and ,i think it would help us to talk together of ,him sometimes2 at least1 she added1 ,i am sure it would help me4 ,oh1 ,miss ,irvine1 ,i said1 as ,i sat down beside her1 if you only knew-- ,if ,i only knew what8 she said1 gently4 ,if you only knew how careless ,i have been lately2 ,i have hardly thought about ,him at all4 ,what has been the matter1 ,may8 she asked4 ,oh1 ,i don't know1 ,i answered2 ,i think everything has been too smooth and nice lately2 somehow1 it is easier to do right when the road is rather rough2 don't you think it is1 ,miss ,irvine8 ,yes1 she said2 when things go wrong1 and all seems against us1 we are driven to prayer1 ,may--we feel we must pray then2 but we ought not to need driving into our dear ,lord's presence4 ,oh no1 ,i said2 ,i know we ought not4 ,and oh1 ,may1 she said1 earnestly1 if we get self-confident1 and leave off prayer1 we shall soon have a fall2 we are not safe for a single moment if we are not strong in the ,lord and in the power of ,his might4 ,you will be having a fall if you do not come back to ,him1 ,may4 ,i wish ,i could come back1 ,miss ,irvine1 ,i said1 but it is easier to get wrong than to get right again4 ,i got up this morning rather earlier1 and tried to pray1 but ,i could not fix my thoughts on what ,i was saying2 all sorts of things kept coming into my mind1 and ,i gave it up at last4 ,yes1 she said1 ,i know what that is2 heart answers to heart4 ,i have often found it so2 when ,i have left ,god1 and have been pleasing myself1 ,i have lost the power to pray4 ,how is it1 ,miss ,irvine8 ,i asked4 ,i think1 she said1 that the ,holy ,spirit has been grieved1 and without ,his help we cannot pray4 ,then what do you think ,i should do8 ,i asked4 ,i think1 she said1 you should go back to the ,lord1 just in the same spirit in which you first came to ,him4 ,go to ,him1 and ask ,him to receive you--to take away all the sin which is separating you from ,him1 and to give you the comfort of ,his presence again4 ,and then ,i think you should especially pray that you may once more have the help of the ,holy ,spirit4 ,i like that old hymn so much3 ',return1 ,o ,holy ,dove1 return1 ,sweet messenger of rest2 ,i hate the sins which made ,thee mourn1 ,and drove ,thee from my breast4 ',so shall my walk be close with ,god1 ,calm and serene my frame1 ,so purer light shall mark the road ,that leads me to the ,lamb4' ,will you not go back to ,him at once1 ,may8 she said1 laying her hand upon mine4 ,oh1 ,miss ,irvine1 ,i will2 indeed ,i will1 ,i said4 ,go now1 dear1 she said4 ,so ,i left her sitting there1 and went on1 down the winding1 shady path to the sea4 ,it was a quiet1 solitary place4 ,the only sounds that were to be heard were the splashing of the waves upon the rocks1 and the cries of the white sea-birds as they flew backwards and forwards on the little rocky islands which lay about half a mile from the shore4 ,i knelt down in a sheltered corner1 and felt myself alone with ,god4 ,i do not think that ,i have ever realised the ,lord's presence more than at that moment4 ,and then ,i confessed it all to ,him1 all my coldness1 all my carelessness1 all my neglect of prayer1 all my indifference to ,him4 ,i came back to ,him1 and asked ,him to receive me1 and to give me the light of ,his countenance again4 ,and then1 as ,miss ,irvine had advised me1 ,i prayed very earnestly for the ,holy ,spirit1 pleading that promise-- ,if ye then1 being evil1 know how to give good gifts unto your children3 how much more shall your ,heavenly ,father give the ,holy ,spirit to them that ask ,him8 ,oh1 how thankful ,i felt that ,miss ,irvine had spoken to me that afternoon6 ,i am sure that ,god put it into her heart to do so4 ,when ,i went back to the house1 ,i found her still sitting in the same place1 and she said1 as she took hold of my arm to walk home with me3 ,is it all right1 dear8 ,yes1 ,miss ,irvine1 ,i hope so4 ,i have asked ,him to forgive me1 and ,i think ,he has4 ,yes1 she said1 if you have asked ,him1 ,i am sure ,he has4 ,he is always ready to forgive us1 if we will only go to ,him4 ,if we only realised how much ,he loves us1 ,may1 and how much it grieves ,him when we are cold and heartless to ,him1 ,i think we should be more careful never to leave ,him4 ,as ,i look back upon that part of my life which was spent in ,alliston ,hall1 ,i cannot be too thankful that ,god gave me the friendship of ,miss ,lilla ,irvine4 ,i found in her a true friend1 one in whom ,i could confide all my troubles and anxieties1 and one who was ever ready to sympathise with me and to advise me4 ,her visits1 to my great joy1 were very long ones4 ,at the time of which ,i am now writing1 she spent several months at her cousin's house1 so that ,i had many opportunities of seeing her1 and of learning to love her more and more4 ,as ,christmas time drew near1 the good sisters at ,branston ,manor ,house wrote to ask me to spend ,christmas with them1 and ,sir ,william most kindly gave me a fortnight's holiday4 ,evelyn was very loth to part with me1 and told me she would be dreadfully dull whilst ,i was away4 ,but ,sir ,william would not hear of my refusing the invitation1 and promised to do his best to make up for my absence4 ,oh dear1 oh dear1 it will be a long fortnight6 ,evelyn said1 the night before ,i left4 ,you shouldn't be so nice1 ,may2 if you were only a little more disagreeable1 just the smallest degree more like the brown alpaca1 ,i should not miss you half so much6 ,very well1 ,i said1 laughing1 ,i will come back provided with spectacles1 and a brown alpaca dress1 and be as prim and precise as you please1 and then ,i suppose ,i shall get plenty of holidays6 ,not that ,i want holidays1 ,i said1 in a different tone1 as ,i noticed the troubled expression on her face1 ,i was only joking1 dear ,evelyn2 my whole life here is a holiday--,i am very1 very happy1 you are all so good to me4 ,just as if we could help being good to you1 ,may1 she said2 ,i told you that ,i loved you at first sight1 and always should love you1 and ,i am sure ,i do4 ,and ,i do hope you will enjoy being with your little sister1 only you must be sure to come back as soon as they can spare you4 ,it was six months since ,i had seen ,maggie1 and my heart beat very fast as the train drew up at ,branston ,station1 and my little sister came forward to meet me4 ,she had grown very much since ,i had seen her last1 but she was the same dear1 simple-minded child as when ,i had left her1 and was just as loving and true4 ,old ,john was waiting for us with the two luxurious horses1 and we drove to the ,manor ,house at the usual measured pace4 ,it was quite touching to see the welcome which the three kind sisters gave me4 ,if ,i had been their own child1 they could not have seemed more glad to see me4 ,miss ,jane1 especially1 took me under her wing from the moment that ,i entered the house1 and it would indeed have been my own fault if ,i had not spent a pleasant ,christmas time at ,branston ,hall4 ,but what ,i enjoyed1 perhaps1 more than anything else1 was hearing ,mr4 ,claremont's sermons4 ,there was something in his plain1 practical way of preaching1 which went direct to my heart1 and ,i always came away from hearing one of his sermons feeling thoroughly dissatisfied with myself1 which perhaps1 after all1 is the best proof how very useful they were to me4 ,on the last ,sunday of the year1 especially1 ,i felt that indeed there was a message for me4 ,in both his sermons that day ,mr4 ,claremont spoke of the year that was past1 gone for ever1 with all its shortcomings and sins1 all its neglected opportunities1 all its wasted moments4 ,in the evening his sermon was addressed more especially to the unsaved in the congregation1 urging such not to let the last moments of the old year pass away until they had been to the fountain1 ,christ ,jesus1 the fountain opened for sin and for uncleanness1 and had washed their sin-stained souls till they were whiter than snow4 ,but in the morning ,mr4 ,claremont spoke to ,christians1 to ,god's own children4 ,he spoke of the sins of which we ,christians had been guilty during the past year1 and above all of our sins of omission4 ,he told us that ,god had given to each of us a special work to do for ,him1 and that if we did not do it1 the work would be left undone4 ,and then he asked us whether all those who lived in the house with us were amongst the saved4 ,were there any1 was there one1 with whom we spoke day by day1 and whom we loved perhaps very much1 and yet whom we knew to be still outside the refuge1 still unsaved8 ,and then ,mr4 ,claremont pleaded with us1 if this was the case1 to give ourselves no rest until that one was safe in ,christ1 but to speak to him about his soul1 and1 whenever we had an opportunity1 to plead with him1 and to urge him to come to ,jesus before it was too late4 ,another year gone1 just gone1 and your loved ones still unsaved4 ,oh1 what if this new year should be their last6 ,what if next ,new ,year's ,day1 the opportunity should be over1 and they should be gone6 ,children of ,god1 up and be doing1 let not their blood be on your heads4 ,oh1 if they should come up to you at the last day1 and say1 with bitter reproaches1 ',why did you not warn us8 ,if you really believed1 knew that this was before us1 why did you not give yourselves no rest1 day nor night1 until you knew that we were saved from it8 ,oh1 why not8' ,what will you say to them then8 ,friends1 be up and doing1 for the night cometh when no man can work4 ,as ,mr4 ,claremont spoke1 one face was ever in my mind's eye1 one form was ever before me4 ,it was ,evelyn ,trafford1 my own dear little ,evelyn1 of whom ,i thought4 ,i knew she was not safe4 ,loving and amiable and sweet tempered as she was1 ,i know that she cared nothing for the ,lord ,i loved4 ,she had been brought up entirely for this world1 and she had never been taught to think of things above4 ,and yet what could ,i do for her8 ,i had sometimes tried to get a word in1 edgewise as it were1 for my ,master1 but it was very difficult1 and it never seemed to do any good4 ,sometimes ,i thought it did harm4 ,if she was alone with me1 she turned the subject so quickly1 and called me precise and particular1 and did not seem so much at her ease with me afterwards4 ,and if any one else came into the room1 she would begin to talk almost scoffingly of all that ,i loved and reverenced1 as if she were determined to show me how little she cared for it all4 ,and so ,i was beginning to think that it was wiser to be quiet and to say nothing4 ,yet this sermon had made me uneasy4 ,if ,evelyn1 my dear ,evelyn1 should die unsaved1 and ,i had never once really spoken to her about her soul's interests1 oh1 how ,i should blame myself6 ,and yet1 when could ,i do it8 ,how could ,i begin the subject8 ,i met ,mr4 ,claremont the next day1 as ,i was going to see one of ,miss ,jane's sick people1 and ,i ventured to tell him how much ,i had felt his sermon4 ,but does it not require very great wisdom in speaking to others8 ,i asked4 ,undoubtedly1 he said2 there is a time to speak1 and a time to keep silence4 ,but with me1 ,mr4 ,claremont1 ,i said1 it always seems the time to keep silence4 ,have you been looking out for an opportunity8 he said4 ,ready to speak and longing to speak1 whenever and as soon as ,god shall give you one8 ,hardly that1 ,i said2 ,i have often thought ,i ought to speak1 but have always persuaded myself that it was not the right time to do it4 ,ah6 he said4 ,perhaps if you look carefully within1 ,miss ,lindsay1 you will find that at the bottom of it all there has been a little cowardice1 a little unwillingness to be brave for the ,master's sake--please forgive me for saying so--but ,i have often found it so myself4 ,often1 when ,i have neglected speaking to others about their souls1 ,i have found that it was not from want of opportunity1 but from want of courage to use the opportunities that were given me4 ,yes1 ,i said1 ,i believe you are right4 ,pray for opportunities to be given you1 be on the look-out for opportunities1 and use the opportunities as soon as ever they occur1 and you will1 ,i am sure1 ,miss ,lindsay1 find that there is indeed a time to speak1 as well as a time to be silent4 ,illustration ,illustration ,,chapter ,,viii4 ,,alice ,,fitzgerald4 ,illustration ,i ,,went back to ,alliston ,hall determined to be on the watch for the time to speak1 and longing most earnestly for that time to come4 ,evelyn welcomed me very warmly1 and told me she had never known a fortnight pass so slowly4 ,have you many visitors here8 ,i asked4 ,no1 she said1 there is only ,alice ,fitzgerald2 ,i did not know she was coming when you went away1 but ,i found out she was staying with friends of hers not far-off1 so ,i asked her to come here on her way home3 her father is an old friend of papa's4 ,alice ,fitzgerald6 ,i repeated4 ,alice ,fitzgerald1 ,i wonder if it is the same6 ,the same as what1 ,may8 she said1 laughing at my astonishment4 ,do you know an ,alice ,fitzgerald8 ,no1 ,i said1 ,i do not know her2 but she is a great friend of a friend of mine4 ,well1 this ,alice ,fitzgerald--how pale you are1 ,may1 said ,evelyn1 suddenly stopping short in her explanation2 are you very tired8 ,no1 not at all1 ,i said2 go on1 ,i want to hear about your ,alice ,fitzgerald4 ,well1 my ,alice ,fitzgerald is a very pretty girl1 at least ,i think she is1 and a nice sort of girl1 though she isn't a bit like you4 ,i don't mean that you are not nice1 you dear old thing1 said ,evelyn1 laughing1 but she is quite different from you2 ,i'm rather afraid you will quarrel4 ,oh no1 ,i hope not6 ,no1 you must not quarrel1 said ,evelyn1 though she has some very strange ideas2 but1 after all1 what does it matter what one believes8 ,i was about to answer her when the door opened1 and the subject of our conversation entered4 ,she was a tall1 fair-haired girl of about my own age1 and was indeed1 as ,evelyn had said1 very pretty4 ,alice1 this is my friend1 ,may ,lindsay1 was ,evelyn's introduction1 as she came in4 ,miss ,fitzgerald shook hands with me pleasantly1 and then sat down on a low seat by the fire1 and took her work out of a pretty1 embroidered pocket which hung by her side4 ,i am very glad to make your acquaintance1 ,miss ,lindsay1 she said1 laughing1 for ,i have been hearing your praises sounded morning1 noon1 and night1 ever since ,i came4 ,well1 isn't she very nice1 ,alice8 said ,evelyn1 raising herself on the sofa4 ,didn't ,i give you a good description of her8 ,i expect ,miss ,fitzgerald is not so hasty in forming her opinion as you are1 ,evelyn1 ,i said4 ,by the by1 ,alice1 ,evelyn went on1 ,may thinks she knows a friend of yours2 at least1 if you are the same ,alice ,fitzgerald4 ,what is her name1 ,may8 ,it is a gentleman1 ,i said1 turning very red1 in spite of all my efforts to the contrary--,mr4 ,claude ,ellis4 ,claude6 repeated ,miss ,fitzgerald1 in astonishment4 ,do you know ,claude8 ,i never heard him speak of you4 ,no1 perhaps not1 ,i said2 but ,i do know him very well indeed2 we were playfellows when we were children1 and have lived next door to each other all our lives4 ,how very strange that ,i never heard your name6 said ,miss ,fitzgerald4 ,and ,i was staying at the ,parsonage last spring2 would you be at ,acton then8 ,no1 ,i said1 we had left a little time before you went there4 ,do you remember noticing a house1 standing in a large garden1 close to the ,parsonage8 ,oh yes1 said ,miss ,fitzgerald2 it was shut up when ,i was there1 and ,claude said the doctor used to live there4 ,yes1 the doctor was my father1 ,i said1 checking the tears1 which would come in spite of myself1 and which nearly choked me4 ,well1 that's very funny6 said ,evelyn4 ,that you should know this dearly beloved ,claude1 about whom ,i have heard so much lately6 ,do you know he is coming here to-morrow1 to make my acquaintance8 ,papa has invited him to come for a day or two whilst ,alice is here4 ,claude coming to ,alliston ,hall ,claude coming to-morrow6 ,how ,i wished that my stay at the old ,manor ,house had been a little longer4 ,i made some excuse to leave the room soon afterwards1 and went to my own bedroom1 and locked the door4 ,claude coming to-morrow6 ,i repeated over and over to myself4 ,all the old trouble seemed to have come back again4 ,i had hoped that ,i should never see him again1 that our paths in life would never cross each other4 ,and now ,claude was coming to-morrow4 ,how astonished he would be to see me here6 ,i wondered how we should meet1 and whether he would feel it as much as ,i did4 ,as ,i sat alone in my room ,i prayed for grace and help1 and ,i felt that the strength came as ,i prayed4 ,still ,i felt that ,i could not go downstairs1 until ,evelyn's maid came to tell me that ,miss ,trafford wanted me4 ,you naughty girl6 said ,evelyn when ,i entered4 ,what have you been doing8 ,why1 you are as cold as ice2 come to the fire and warm your hands4 ,i really could not let you stop up there any longer4 ,do you know ,i thought you were1 at last1 turning into the brown alpaca6 ,she always shut herself up in her bedroom half the day4 ,and1 who in the world is the brown alpaca8 said ,alice ,fitzgerald4 ,do tell me about her1 ,evelyn4 ,evelyn was only too pleased to do so4 ,and then we went on from one laughable subject to another1 and ,alice ,fitzgerald told us a number of amusing stories1 in such an absurd way that we laughed until we were quite tired4 ,there1 she said1 at last1 as ,evelyn declared that she had not laughed so much the whole time she had been ill1 and that she felt all the better for it1 that's just what ,i was saying before ,miss ,lindsay came into the room2 if only people1 when they are in low spirits would laugh more1 they would be all the happier4 ,but when you are in trouble you can't laugh1 ,miss ,fitzgerald1 ,i said4 ,oh1 then1 you should try1 she said2 try to forget the trouble1 and laugh it off4 ,that's always my way when anything bothers me or vexes me4 ,i try to think of something amusing1 and forget it4 ,and do you always succeed8 ,i ventured to ask4 ,well1 no1 not quite always1 she said1 rather gravely4 ,it was the first time that ,i had seen her look grave2 her merry1 laughing face was clouded for a moment4 ,but it was only for a moment4 ,anyhow1 she said1 if you don't quite succeed in forgetting your trouble1 it does not make it so hard to bear2 it is better to go laughing through a trouble than crying through it4 ,but laugh it off if you can1 that's much the best way4 ,but1 suppose you can't laugh it off1 ,i said2 you owned that there were some troubles which were too deep to be got rid of in this way--suppose you can't laugh it off1 and the trouble comes back after every laugh as heavy as ever--what then8 ,oh1 then1 she said1 with a shrug of her shoulders1 we must bear it1 ,i suppose--bear it as best we can4 ,don't you think so8 ,i never try to laugh trouble away1 ,i said2 ,i try to pray it away4 ,oh1 she said1 scornfully1 you believe in prayer1 do you8 ,yes2 don't you1 ,miss ,fitzgerald8 ,no1 not now1 she said2 ,i did once4 ,that is to say1 ,i never prayed much myself1 but ,i used to believe that it did some people good2 but ,claude says that is all nonsense4 ,my brother ,arthur and he are always having long discussions about these things4 ,arthur believes in the ,bible with all his heart and soul1 and ,claude does nothing but laugh at him4 ,and you agree with ,claude1 of course1 said ,evelyn1 laughing4 ,yes1 said ,alice1 ,i agree with him2 and yet1 do you know1 ,i sometimes wish ,i didn't4 ,may ,i ask1 why not8 ,i said4 ,well1 she said1 you mustn't tell ,claude1 he would be so angry2 but ,i can't help thinking if ,arthur should be right after all--what then8 ,yes1 what then8 ,i said4 ,if the ,bible is true--what then8 ,why then1 she said1 laughing again1 we are all lost1 ,i suppose2 so the best we can do is to enjoy ourselves as much now as we can4 ,a short life and a merry one1 that's my motto6 ,well1 ,i suppose it is getting near dinner time1 she said1 as she hastily rose1 gathering up her work1 and left the room4 ,she is a queer girl1 said ,evelyn1 as soon as the door was shut4 ,she is not really happy1 ,evelyn1 ,i said4 ,she tries to laugh it off1 as she says2 but there is a great deal of miserable uncertainty in her heart1 ,i feel sure of that4 ,well1 said ,evelyn1 turning the subject1 won't you dress for dinner8 ,ambrose will be here in a moment4 ,so ,i left the room and went upstairs1 and prayed very1 very earnestly for them both1 and especially for ,alice ,fitzgerald4 ,oh1 if she only knew where true joy was to be found6 ,the next day ,claude arrived4 ,i was in ,evelyn's sitting-room when ,alice ,fitzgerald brought him in to introduce him to her4 ,and then she turned to me4 ,an old friend of yours1 ,claude1 ,i believe1 she said4 ,claude started2 he had not noticed me before4 ,may--,miss ,lindsay1 he said1 colouring painfully1 ,i did not expect to see you here4 ,and then he turned the subject quickly1 and began to give us an account of his journey1 his ,oxford adventures1 and all sorts of other things1 till dinner was announced4 ,i could see that he was not at his ease1 and ,i was almost afraid that ,alice ,fitzgerald noticed it also4 ,i saw very little more of ,claude that evening1 for ,i always dined upstairs with ,evelyn1 and he spent the evening in talking politics with ,sir ,william over the library fire4 ,but the next morning when ,i came downstairs1 ,claude was alone in the breakfast-room4 ,i shook hands with him1 and said ,good morning2 and then was about to leave the room again1 when he called me back1 and said hurriedly3 ,may1 what did you tell them8 ,tell whom8 ,i asked4 ,tell her1 he said1 in a hoarse whisper4 ,what did you tell her about me8 ,only that we played together when we were children1 and lived next door to each other4 ,was that all8 he said4 ,yes1 every word1 ,i answered4 ,you surely did not think1 ,claude-- ,oh no1 he said1 of course not1 only it's more comfortable to know4 ,all right1 ,may1 he added1 carelessly1 we will let bygones be bygones now4 ,and then he sat down to the piano and played a merry air4 ,i stood and looked out of the window1 and wondered at the shallowness of his heart4 ,and ,i felt1 as ,i had never felt before1 that ,i had not made a bad choice when ,i chose ,christ's love and gave up ,claude's4 ,in a few minutes the others came down1 and we had breakfast2 and whilst we were at breakfast1 ,ambrose came in with the letter-bag1 which he solemnly laid before ,sir ,william1 as was his daily custom4 ,sir ,william took a key from his watch-chain and unlocked the bag1 and then proceeded to distribute the letters4 ,none for you this morning1 ,miss ,alice1 he said1 laughing4 ,which would you choose3 to have your young man here to talk to you1 or to get a letter from him8 ,none for you1 ,miss ,lindsay1 not a single one2 six for me1 and one for ,mr4 ,ellis--that's all6 ,claude took his letter1 opened it1 and glanced hastily through it4 ,the contents did not seem to be of the most agreeable nature1 for he looked very annoyed as he read it1 and then crushed it up impatiently1 and thrust it into his pocket4 ,alice glanced inquiringly at him1 but ,claude appeared to be engrossed in the carving of a chicken1 and took no notice of her inquiring looks4 ,when breakfast was over1 ,sir ,william went into the library1 where he generally spent the morning looking over the newspapers and writing his letters4 ,we went up to ,evelyn's room4 ,i thought ,alice wanted to linger behind1 that she might speak to ,claude2 but he did not seem disposed to take the hint1 and followed me closely upstairs4 ,we found ,evelyn lying on the sofa1 and waiting for me to show her how to do a new pattern in crochet work1 which ,i had learnt from ,aunt ,jane1 who was very clever with her fingers4 ,i sat down on a low stool close to ,evelyn1 directing her as she worked2 and ,alice and ,claude went to the other end of the room1 into the large bow window4 ,claude had brought a newspaper upstairs with him1 and1 throwing himself into an arm-chair1 he began to read it1 with an air which plainly intimated that he did not wish to be disturbed4 ,alice ,fitzgerald came behind him1 and leaning over his shoulder1 with her arm on the back of the chair1 she seemed to be reading the newspaper with him4 ,but after a minute or two ,i heard her say3 ,let me see that letter1 ,claude2 what was it about8 ,oh1 it was nothing particular1 said ,claude1 turning to another part of the newspaper2 it was only a business letter4 ,that's always the way with men1 said ,evelyn1 laughing2 whenever they don't want you to see a letter they always say1 ',it's only a business letter4' ,papa always does so1 and it's of no use my telling him that ,i like business letters2 he only laughs and says1 ',women don't understand business1 or1 if they do1 they ought not4' ,but ,alice ,fitzgerald did not let the matter drop4 ,in a few minutes ,i heard her ask again from whom the letter had come1 and ,claude answered in a vexed tone3 ,it is only from my father1 ,alice4 ,there1 take it and read it if you make such a fuss about it6 ,and he tossed the letter out of his pocket4 ,alice sat down and read it1 and when she had gone through it once1 she turned it over and read it again1 and then1 folding it up very gravely and slowly1 she handed it back to ,claude4 ,he put it into his pocket1 and went on reading4 ,alice leant over his shoulder1 and her face1 which was generally so bright and merry1 was very grave and thoughtful4 ,evelyn and ,i were busy with our pattern1 and for some minutes no one spoke4 ,then ,i heard ,alice say1 in a low voice1 ,what enclosures were there1 ,claude8 ,what is it that has vexed your father so much8 ,illustration3 ,,claude ,,burns ,,the ,,letters4 ,oh1 only some rubbishy old bills1 said ,claude1 impatiently2 those ,oxford tradesmen are the greatest scoundrels on the face of the earth6 ,it's always their way6 ,but the best plan is to take no notice of them2 shy their bills into the fire1 and leave them alone4 ,and1 in spite of ,alice's remonstrances1 he walked to the fireplace1 and thrust a roll of letters1 which he took from his pocket1 into the flames1 and watched them turn to ashes4 ,they will send them in again1 ,claude1 said ,alice1 gravely4 ,then ,i shall burn them again1 he said1 with a laugh2 the rascals ought to know better6 ,but are you quite sure they are wrong1 ,claude8 she said1 as they went back to the window4 ,are you quite sure you never bought any of the things8 ,have you looked them carefully through8 ,oh1 ,i know all about it1 said ,claude1 in a vexed voice2 do let it alone1 dear4 ,i have plenty of money to pay them all1 if necessary2 so please leave me to manage my own affairs4 ,there's a splendid leader in the ',times' to-day1 ,miss ,trafford2 have you read it8 he said1 turning to ,evelyn1 and beginning a conversation with her on the politics of ,europe4 ,alice ,fitzgerald left the window1 took her work out of her pocket1 and sat on a low stool by the fire2 but she did not recover her usual good spirits for some time afterwards4 ,illustration ,,chapter ,,ix4 ,,was ,,the ,,promise ,,binding8 ,illustration ,,from this time1 as the spring advanced1 ,evelyn began to grow much stronger1 and the doctors seemed very hopeful that she would soon be able entirely to leave off her invalid habits4 ,she was strong enough to go upstairs and downstairs quite comfortably2 and although she still spent a good deal of time on her couch1 it was more because ,sir ,william insisted upon it than because she felt it really necessary4 ,i began to think that my stay at ,alliston ,hall was drawing to a close1 for when ,evelyn was able to return to the gay and active life that she had led before her illness1 she would not need me any longer2 but when ,i once hinted at something of the kind to her1 she vehemently declared that ,i should never leave her1 and that she should be ill again directly1 if ,i were to go away4 ,if ,i had had a pleasant life before1 it was still more pleasant now2 for we were able to drive out together1 or to sit with our work on a seat on the lawn whenever the weather was warm enough4 ,i shall never forget that spring4 ,everything looked so lovely in that beautiful park4 ,the long avenue with its budding trees2 the soft1 fresh green of the grass2 the woods yellow with primroses1 and the birds singing their happy songs in the trees2 everything seemed full of life and of joy4 ,evelyn was like a bird which has been long shut up in a cage and has suddenly regained its liberty4 ,her merry laugh was to be heard almost all day long1 and her light step1 as she went about the house again1 showed that she was fast recovering her health and strength4 ,yet one thought troubled me4 ,could it be that the opportunity was gone--that ,i should never now be able to lead her to think seriously about her soul and about eternity8 ,i had tried so very often since my visit to ,branston to begin to talk to her about these things1 but the attempt had always ended in failure2 and though ,i prayed most earnestly that ,god would make a way for me1 and give me the opportunity for which ,i was now eagerly watching1 yet no way seemed to be opened1 no opportunity seemed to be given4 ,and now ,evelyn was getting well1 and what chance was there that she would be led to think seriously when all around her was so bright and pleasant8 ,still ,i prayed on4 ,i had found out a few poor people in the neighbourhood of ,alliston ,hall1 amongst whom ,i was able to do a little work for the ,master4 ,there were one or two old people who were glad for me to read to them2 and there was a girl1 dying in consumption1 who was always pleased to see me4 ,thus1 whenever ,i managed to get an afternoon for myself1 when ,evelyn was engaged with visitors1 or was driving out with her father1 ,i went across the park to visit these poor people1 and always came back feeling refreshed in mind and body4 ,one afternoon ,i had been out rather longer than usual4 ,i had left ,evelyn busy with her letters1 and1 as it was now past post-time1 ,i was afraid she would be wanting me1 and would think that ,i had been a long time away4 ,so1 as soon as ,i had dressed for dinner1 ,i hurried down to ,evelyn's room4 ,as ,i came up to the door ,i heard a voice inside1 and when ,i went in1 ,i found to my astonishment1 that a young man was there4 ,he was sitting on a footstool in front of the fire1 stroking ,evelyn's little dog1 and was apparently quite at his ease4 ,he was a very handsome man1 tall and well-built1 with fine features and large dark eyes4 ,who could he be8 ,where had he come from8 ,i had not heard that any visitors were expected that day1 and ,i was utterly at a loss to account for his sudden appearance4 ,he jumped up when ,i came into the room1 and threw himself into the arm-chair by the fire4 ,this is ,cousin ,donald1 ,may1 said ,evelyn as ,i came up to her2 do you think papa will be very angry with him for coming8 ,oh no1 of course not2 why should he be8 said ,mr4 ,trafford carelessly4 ,when a poor fellow has been toiling away day after day for months1 it would be a crying shame to grudge him a little change of air when he happens to get a day's holiday4 ,don't you like the bank any better1 ,donald8 asked ,evelyn4 ,any better6 exclaimed ,mr4 ,trafford1 starting from his seat4 ,i hate it1 ,evelyn4 ,i shall run away some day1 ,i declare ,i shall4 ,oh no1 you won't1 there's a dear1 good ,donald1 she said2 papa would be so angry4 ,i can't help that1 ,evelyn1 he said2 you would run away if you were in my place2 it is nothing but work1 work1 work1 day after day1 and ,i hate work4 ,i can't help it1 it is my nature4 ,i was never meant to work2 some people are1 and they like work2 but ,i never did and never shall4 ,at this moment ,sir ,william's step was heard in the corridor4 ,here's papa1 said ,evelyn1 hurriedly2 oh1 ,donald1 ,i wonder what he will say4 ,i don't care1 said ,mr4 ,trafford1 with a laugh2 if the old gentleman has the least sense of-- ,but here the door opened1 and ,sir ,william came in4 ,his nephew rose to meet him in the most affectionate and confident manner1 and as if he were perfectly sure of a welcome4 ,well1 uncle1 how are you8 he said4 ,i'm so glad to find ,evelyn better2 it is so nice to see you again1 uncle4 ,sir ,william took his hand and shook it coldly4 ,and pray where did you come from1 ,donald8 he said1 sternly4 ,why1 the fact is1 uncle1 said the young man1 to-day is a bank holiday1 and ,i have been working so hard lately that ,i thought a little fresh air would set me up again1 and as ,i had not seen you for such a long time1 ,i thought ,i would look you up4 ,when ,i was a young man1 ,donald1 said his uncle1 dryly1 ,i waited for an invitation before ,i went to visit my friends4 ,mr4 ,trafford coloured1 but he answered gaily3 ,i can put up at the ',royal ,oak1' to-night1 uncle1 if it is at all inconvenient for me to stay here2 ,i did not think the house would be full at this time of the year4 ,sir ,william did not answer him1 but turning to ,evelyn1 told her that the gong had sounded1 and asked her if she wished to go downstairs to dinner4 ,no1 papa1 said ,evelyn2 ,i think ,may and ,i will dine upstairs4 ,i feel rather tired this evening4 ,very well1 then1 we will go downstairs1 ,donald1 said ,sir ,william2 and they left the room4 ,oh dear1 ,may1 said ,evelyn1 as soon as the door was shut1 ,i am afraid papa is very angry2 ,i never saw him look so vexed before4 ,but ,i don't know why he should be so angry1 do you8 ,it isn't as if ,donald was no relation of ours1 and ,i am sure he is very nice4 ,i can't think why papa is always so vexed when he comes here4 ,i am very sorry you are so tired1 ,evelyn dear1 ,i said1 as ,i made her lie down on the sofa till dinner was brought upstairs4 ,oh1 ,i'm not so very tired1 ,may1 she said1 but ,i wanted papa and ,donald to have dinner alone1 because1 don't you see1 papa will be obliged to talk to him now4 ,if we were there1 ,i know just how it would be4 ,papa would talk to you and talk to me1 and hardly say a word to ,donald4 ,but now1 you see1 he must talk to him1 because there is no one else there1 and you will see they will be quite friendly after dinner2 at least1 matters will be much better than they are now4 ,and1 to a certain extent1 ,evelyn was right4 ,when we went into the library we found ,mr4 ,trafford sitting comfortably in an easy chair1 with the ,times newspaper in his hand1 discussing the events of the day with his uncle1 apparently quite at his ease1 and looking as comfortable as if his presence in ,alliston ,hall was the result of an urgent and pressing invitation4 ,and ,sir ,william8 ,he was not at his ease4 ,i could see that by his tightly compressed mouth when his nephew was speaking1 and by the careful way in which he tried to engross ,evelyn's attention as soon as she came into the room4 ,but still ,i could see that he found it very difficult to keep up any appearance of displeasure in the face of ,mr4 ,trafford's pleasant1 cheerful manner1 and almost impossible to quarrel with a man who was quite determined not to quarrel with him4 ,evelyn was very silent the whole evening1 and seemed in bad spirits4 ,she talked a little to me1 but she very seldom spoke to her father or her cousin4 ,altogether it was a most uncomfortable evening1 and ,i was not sorry when it was over4 ,the next day we did not see much of ,mr4 ,trafford1 for ,sir ,william took him out with him after breakfast1 and managed to keep him to himself nearly the whole day4 ,only once1 when ,sir ,william was unavoidably absent for a short time1 was he left in the library with ,evelyn and me4 ,i wish you liked the bank better1 ,donald1 said ,evelyn1 as soon as her father had left the room4 ,i never shall like it better1 ,evelyn1 he said1 impetuously2 it is absurd my trying to live in ,london on the miserable allowance ,i get there4 ,it is utterly ridiculous2 no gentleman could do it4 ,but1 ,donald1 ,evelyn said1 you really should be more careful of your money2 you ought never to have bought-- ,at a sign from him1 she stopped suddenly short in what she was saying4 ,you really ought not2 ought you1 ,donald8 she said1 instead4 ,yes ,i ought1 ,evelyn1 he said1 in rather an annoyed voice2 it's all right4 ,but it is really absurd their paying a fellow such a miserable salary4 ,i don't mean to stand it much longer4 ,i shall run away1 and try my fortune somewhere else4 ,oh no1 ,donald dear1 you must not run away1 said ,evelyn1 beseechingly2 just think how angry papa would be6 ,but just then ,sir ,william came back1 and invited ,mr4 ,trafford to walk with him as far as his farm-bailiff's house1 and we did not see him again until he came to take leave of us before starting for the railway station4 ,he whispered something to ,evelyn as he bent over her to say good-bye1 and ,i distinctly caught the words1 ,remember--promise2 and then he hastily shook hands with me and went out of the room4 ,i never knew ,evelyn so difficult to please as she was that evening4 ,nothing that ,i did seemed to be right1 and she was fretful and tired2 and even when her father was in the room1 she made no effort to rouse herself or to talk to him4 ,sir ,william looked at her very anxiously from time to time4 ,i could see that he attributed this change in her to her cousin's visit1 and ,i heard him once expressing a hope that that was the very last time that ,master ,donald would come without an invitation2 he did not approve of the free-and-easy manners of the rising generation1 and he was glad that he had spoken to him pretty plainly on the subject4 ,evelyn went early to bed1 and ,i went to my room1 but not to sleep4 ,i felt very unhappy and perplexed4 ,these two words which ,i had heard1 against my will1 haunted me3 ',remember--promise4' ,what did he mean by it8 ,what was ,evelyn to remember1 and what promise had she made which she would not either speak to her father or to me8 ,it was so unlike ,evelyn to keep a secret4 ,she generally came out with everything at once1 and told me just what she was thinking about4 ,i felt sure that this must be something she did not wish her father to know1 and the thought troubled me very much indeed4 ,as ,i got up the next morning1 ,i prayed for grace and strength to help me1 if possible1 to influence ,evelyn to do what was right4 ,i found her in a very different frame of mind from what she had been the night before4 ,she was still silent1 and looked unhappy1 but she was very loving and affectionate to me4 ,may1 darling1 she said1 as she put her arms round my neck1 and kissed me1 are you very angry with me8 ,angry with you8 ,no indeed1 ,evelyn1 ,i said2 why should ,i be angry8 ,oh1 ,i was so horrid to you last night1 ,i know ,i was2 ,i can't bear to think how nasty and disagreeable ,i was4 ,how you must have hated me6 ,no1 ,evelyn dear1 ,i said2 you were only tired and-- ,and what8 she said4 ,and troubled1 were you not1 dear8 ,i ventured to say4 ,troubled about something of which ,i did not know1 and so could not sympathise with you4 ,yes1 she said1 ,i was very bothered and troubled1 and ,i wanted to tell you about it so much2 but ,i did not know whether ,i ought to do so4 ,i did not answer her1 but went on quietly with my work4 ,after a minute or two she said in a whisper3 ,may1 ,i'm not going to tell you anything1 but ,i'm going to show you something4 ,that won't be telling1 will it8 ,hush6 ,is that any one coming8 ,no1 it is no one coming2 it is only ,clemence going downstairs2 but1 mind1 if the door opens1 you must look just the same as usual1 and not say a word4 ,mind6 ,she drew from her pocket a little leathern case and opened it4 ,inside was a beautiful diamond ring4 ,isn't it pretty8 she asked1 as she showed it to me4 ,very pretty1 ,i said1 very beautiful4 ,did ,sir ,william give it to you8 ,oh no1 she said2 papa does not know anything about it1 and ,i must not tell him4 ,you can guess who gave it to me2 ,i am not going to tell you1 but you can guess4 ,and then1 don't you see1 if you know about it1 then ,i can wear it sometimes2 it seems such a pity never to wear it4 ,i can put it on now and then1 when we are here alone1 and slip it off if ,i hear any one coming4 ,don't you think so1 ,may dear8 ,how grave you look6 she said1 in an altered voice4 ,what is the matter8 ,are you very angry with me8 ,not angry1 ,i said1 not angry1 ,evelyn2 but ,i feel troubled about what you have told me4 ,why don't you tell your father about it1 dear8 ,oh1 ,i could not1 she said2 he would be so vexed1 so very vexed4 ,i dare not tell him4 ,why do you think he would be vexed8 ,i asked4 ,oh1 because it must have cost such a great deal of money4 ,look1 ,may1 they are real diamonds2 and ,donald has so little money to spend1 and papa thinks he is so very extravagant4 ,there6 ,i've told you who gave it to me2 ,i did not mean to do so1 but of course you had guessed before4 ,i think it would be much better if you told ,sir ,william1 ,i said2 he might be a little vexed at first with your cousin for giving so much money for it1 but ,i am sure he would be far more vexed if1 by any means1 he found out that ,mr4 ,trafford had given it to you1 and yet you had never told him of it4 ,yes1 she said1 ,i know he would2 but the worst of it is1 that isn't all1 ,may2 if ,i told him that1 ,i should have to tell him something else--,i could not stop half-way4 ,but ,i think you ought to tell him all1 ,i said1 and to hide nothing from him which you feel he ought to know4 ,you would be much happier1 ,evelyn1 if you told him4 ,yes1 she said1 ,i know ,i should2 but then you see ,i promised not to tell him1 and it would never do to break my promise4 ,but if you promised to do what was wrong1 ,i said1 it can surely not be right to keep your promise4 ,do you think so1 ,may8 she said4 ,i thought it was a dreadful thing to break a promise4 ,yes1 so it is1 ,i answered1 if there is nothing wrong in what we have promised2 but if conscience tells us afterwards that we ought never to have made the promise1 and that we cannot keep it without doing what is wrong1 then ,i feel sure that we ought to break it4 ,do you think so8 she said again4 ,i am sure of it1 ,i answered4 ,it is wrong to promise to do what is wrong1 but to keep the promise is doubly wrong4 ,i don't see that at all1 she said2 ,i think if you promise to do anything1 you ought to keep your promise1 whether the thing is right or wrong4 ,suppose ,i should promise some enemy of yours that ,i would poison you1 ,evelyn1 ,i said2 that would be wrong1 would it not4 ,yes1 very wrong1 she said1 laughing1 though she had tears in her eyes2 what a dreadful illustration to use6 ,never mind1 it will show you what ,i mean4 ,it would be very wrong of me to promise to do such a wicked thing1 but it would be still worse if ,i kept my promise1 and really did poison you2 now1 wouldn't it8 ,yes1 she said1 ,i see2 of course it would6 ,well1 ,i answered1 ,i think that rule applies to all promises4 ,it is wrong to promise to do what is not right1 but it is doubly wrong to keep our promise1 and to do it2 because1 you see1 that is only adding sin to sin4 ,the making the promise is one wrong action1 and the fulfilling the promise is only adding to it another and a still worse action4 ,i never thought of that before1 she said2 ,i have been wishing ever since that ,i had not promised not to tell papa4 ,you see1 ,may1 ,i promised ,donald that afternoon1 before you came in1 that some day or other ,i would be his little wife4 ,i know ,i ought not to have promised him1 but he was so nice and seemed to love me so much4 ,he said he had brought that ring with him that ,i might always keep it near me1 and that whenever ,i looked at it ,i might think of my promise4 ,and then he said that ,i must not tell papa1 because he would be so very angry if he knew4 ,i told ,donald that ,i should be obliged to tell papa1 for how could we ever be married if papa did not know about it8 ,and what did ,mr4 ,trafford say8 ,i asked4 ,oh1 he said there was plenty of time for that--we could not be married for many a long day1 and he would tell papa himself some day4 ,so then he made me promise not to tell him till he gave me leave2 and just then you came into the room1 and we could not talk any more about it4 ,i do wish ,i had never promised him4 ,yes1 it was a great pity1 ,i said2 but now ,i think the best thing you can do is to write to ,mr4 ,trafford1 and tell him you feel you were very wrong to make the promise1 and that you feel it would be still worse to keep it4 ,do you think that would be a good plan8 she asked4 ,yes1 ,i said1 ,i am sure it is what you ought to do1 ,evelyn4 ,she did not answer me at once1 but sat looking into the fire and thinking4 ,i sent up an earnest prayer that she might be led to do what was right4 ,presently she looked up at me1 and said3 ,i can't do it1 ,may1 it is no use thinking of it2 ,i can't tell papa4 ,donald would be so angry2 ,i don't think he would ever forgive me4 ,evelyn1 ,i said1 you remember ,herod's promise to give the daughter of ,herodias whatever she asked for2 and you remember why he kept that promise1 even when the keeping of it made him commit murder4 ,yes1 she said2 doesn't it say it was because of his oath's sake2 ,i suppose ,herod did not like to break his word4 ,and ,evelyn1 ,i said1 there is another reason given2 do you remember what comes next8 ,no2 what is it8 she asked4 ,and because of 'them which sat with him at meat4' ,i think that was the real reason why ,herod kept his word4 ,it was not because he minded breaking his promise--he was not the kind of man to mind that--but it was because he was afraid of what his friends might say or think2 he may have thought1 too1 that his wife would never forgive him1 and so he kept his promise1 and cut off ,john ,baptist's head--he was not brave enough to do what he knew was right4 ,evelyn covered her face with her hands and cried4 ,i sat beside her and put my arm round her1 and we sat thus for some time in silence4 ,then she suddenly jumped up1 went to the table1 opened her portfolio1 and began to write4 ,i am going to be very brave1 ,may1 she said1 as she smiled through her tears4 ,what ,evelyn said to her cousin ,i do not know1 but she cried a great deal whilst she was writing it4 ,then she slipped the letter into her pocket4 ,it won't do to put it into the post-bag1 she said2 we will got out at the post office1 and post it when we drive out this afternoon1 and then ,i will tell papa this evening1 after dinner4 ,oh1 how thankful ,i was to hear her express this determination6 ,i felt as if a great load had been lifted off my heart4 ,illustration ,illustration ,,chapter ,x4 ,,evelyn',s ,,confession4 ,illustration ,,evelyn was very pale1 and trembled very much1 as dinner time drew near4 ,she went downstairs as usual1 and tried to talk to her father1 and to appear as if nothing was the matter2 but ,i could see that it was a very great effort for her to do so1 and that she was dreading the time when her secret must be told4 ,she had posted the letter to her cousin that afternoon1 so it was too late to draw back2 and ,i do not think that she wished to do so1 but she dreaded her father's displeasure1 and longed to feel that the trying disclosure was made4 ,when dinner was over we went into the library1 and ,sir ,william made ,evelyn lie down on her couch1 for he had noticed that she was pale and tired1 and ,i1 according to previous arrangement with ,evelyn1 made some excuse for leaving the room1 and left her alone with her father4 ,i went upstairs into ,evelyn's room1 and sat waiting for the result1 and praying that she might have courage to tell ,sir ,william all1 and that he might not be very angry4 ,it seemed a long time before any one came4 ,i took up a book and tried to read1 but1 though my eyes followed the words1 ,i could not fix my thoughts upon what ,i was reading4 ,then ,i tried to sew1 but that attempt was also a failure4 ,so ,i went to the window1 and sat looking out at the setting sun till the room grew dark4 ,then ,clemence1 ,evelyn's maid1 came into the room for something1 and1 seeing that ,i was in darkness1 she lighted the gas1 and drew the curtains1 and then once more ,i was left alone4 ,at last ,i heard a step on the stairs4 ,it was ,sir ,william1 and he was coming up alone4 ,he came into the room1 and shut the door behind him1 and1 coming up to me1 he said kindly3 ,miss ,lindsay1 ,i have to thank you for the kind way in which you have influenced ,evelyn to-day4 ,she tells me that it is entirely owing to you1 that she has been led to confess to me her foolish conduct4 ,i am quite sure1 ,sir ,william1 ,i said1 that ,evelyn is very thankful that she has told you4 ,she loves you so much1 that it was misery for her to feel she was deceiving you4 ,yes1 poor child6 he said4 ,she has suffered a great deal these last two days4 ,i do not blame her2 of course she acted very wrongly1 but the chief fault does not lie at her door4 ,i did not answer1 and he went on3 ,that nephew of mine wants putting in his proper place4 ,i hope this will be a lesson that he will not forget6 ,i shall not spare him1 ,i can tell you4 ,i ant afraid he is a designing fellow6 ,evelyn does not see through him1 of course1 but ,i do2 and ,i shall let him know it too4 ,but ,i need not trouble you with this1 ,miss ,lindsay1 he said1 as he rose to leave the room4 ,i just wanted to thank you very much indeed for being a true1 wise friend to my dear child1 and to tell you how ,i value the influence you have over her4 ,this was a great deal for ,sir ,william to say4 ,he had never before given even the slightest hint that he was pleased with anything ,i did4 ,he was a very silent man1 and seldom expressed his feelings1 and1 therefore1 a few words of praise from him were worth double what they would have been had they come from any one else1 and ,i felt very thankful that ,god had enabled me to please him in this matter4 ,evelyn is coming upstairs now1 ,miss ,lindsay1 said ,sir ,william1 as he left the room2 will you be so kind as to see that she goes to bed at once8 ,i promised to do so1 and presently he brought her upstairs4 ,she looked very tired and troubled1 and her eyes were swollen with crying1 but she put her arms round my neck and kissed me1 and was very loving and affectionate to me4 ,when her father had gone downstairs she said3 ,oh1 ,may6 ,i am so glad ,i told papa1 so very glad2 ,i am so much happier now4 ,i was sure you would be1 ,evelyn dear1 ,i said2 it is terrible to have a secret like that weighing on the mind4 ,yes1 she said1 ,i am very glad ,i told him2 but oh1 ,may1 he was so angry--not with me1 not half enough with me2 he would not see that it was my fault1 but he was terribly angry with ,donald4 ,i do not think you can be surprised at that1 ,evelyn dear1 ,i said2 ,i do not think ,mr4 ,trafford behaved honourably1 and ,sir ,william is such an honourable man himself that he felt it very keenly4 ,yes1 perhaps so1 she said2 but ,i don't think ,donald meant any harm4 ,poor ,donald does not think before he does things2 he-- ,but ,i would not let ,evelyn talk any more about it that night1 but rang the bell for ,clemence1 and went with her to her bedroom4 ,she kissed me at the door1 and as she said good-night1 she whispered3 ,papa has taken that ring1 ,may2 he says it must have cost at least #ej1 and he is sure ,donald has no money to pay for it4 ,the next morning no one alluded to what had happened the night before2 even when we were alone ,evelyn did not seem inclined to speak of it1 and ,i made every effort that ,i could to turn her thoughts into another channel4 ,sir ,william spent most of that day in his private room writing letters1 and we seldom saw him1 but he was very tender and loving to ,evelyn whenever he came into the room1 and seemed anxious to make her feel how entirely he had forgiven her4 ,evelyn and ,i were sitting together at the window with our work1 when the man started for the village with the post-bag4 ,evelyn watched it out of sight1 and then turned to me with a sorrowful face3 ,poor ,donald6 she said4 ,what will he say when he gets it8 ,it was the first time that she had mentioned her cousin that day4 ,i begged her to try not to think of what he would say1 but to feel very thankful that she had done what was right1 and could now look her father in the face with a happy heart4 ,it must have been1 ,i think1 two days after this that1 as ,evelyn was lying on the sofa reading1 and ,i was sitting beside her writing a letter1 we heard a carriage coming quickly up the avenue4 ,a carriage6 said ,evelyn4 ,i wonder who is coming6 ,just look-out1 ,may4 ,i went to the window1 but ,i did not know the carriage at all1 and as it came nearer ,i saw that it was a hired one1 and that there was one gentleman inside4 ,can you see who it is8 ,evelyn asked4 ,i can see him1 ,evelyn1 ,i said1 but ,i do not know who it is2 it is no one that ,i have ever seen before4 ,i think he wants ,sir ,william2 he and ,ambrose have come out upon the drive together1 and ,ambrose is pointing in various directions4 ,there6 ,he has sent the carriage away2 he is evidently going to stay6 ,this is quite exciting6 said ,evelyn1 laughing4 ,i must come and look4 ,she put down her book1 got up from the sofa1 and came to the window4 ,ambrose was still talking to the strange gentleman in the middle of the drive1 and pointing to the various parts of the park1 as if he were trying to tell him where ,sir ,william had gone4 ,oh1 ,may1 she said1 it is ,uncle ,edward2 what can he want8 ,uncle ,edward8 ,i repeated4 ,yes1 she said1 ,donald's father4 ,oh1 ,i wonder why he has come6 ,i am sure it is about ,donald4 ,what can be the matter8 ,she sat down looking quite faint and ill4 ,don't be troubled about it1 ,evelyn dear1 ,i said1 very likely your uncle has only come in answer to ,sir ,william's letter4 ,sir ,william would be sure to write to him about what you told him the other night2 would he not8 ,and most probably your uncle wants to talk it over with him4 ,oh yes1 she said1 that must be it2 do you think ,i should go down and speak to ,uncle ,edward8 ,no1 ,i said1 you must lie down directly2 you do not look at all fit to go downstairs1 and ,i will tell ,ambrose to ask your uncle to come up here4 ,but before ,i had time to carry out my intention the door opened1 and ,mr4 ,edward ,trafford came in4 ,how do you do1 ,evelyn1 my dear8 he said1 in an agitated voice4 ,can you tell me in which direction your father has gone8 ,ambrose has been trying to explain to me1 but ,i could not quite make out what he meant1 these different turnings in the park are so bewildering4 ,had not you better wait1 uncle1 till papa comes back8 said ,evelyn2 ,i do not think he can be long now1 and you might miss him if you went to meet him4 ,yes1 he said1 so ,i might2 ,i think ,i will wait4 ,you will have luncheon1 uncle8 said ,evelyn4 ,no1 no6 ,indeed1 my dear1 said her uncle2 no1 ,i had something as ,i came along--no1 ,i could not touch anything now4 ,i will go downstairs and look if ,i can see your father coming4 ,is anything the matter1 uncle8 asked ,evelyn1 anxiously4 ,are any of them ill at home8 ,oh no1 he said1 hurriedly1 no1 dear1 no one is ill4 ,i just want to see your father on business4 ,he was very pale and agitated1 and looked1 ,evelyn said1 years older than when she had seen him last4 ,we watched him go out upon the drive again1 and look first in one direction and then in another4 ,then he passed up and down in front of the house for more than half an hour1 looking troubled and distressed1 and with his eyes fixed on the ground1 but glancing up hastily every few minutes to see if his brother was in sight4 ,at last ,sir ,william appeared1 and we saw the brothers meet4 ,they did not come into the house1 but they turned into one of the private walks in the park1 and paced up and down1 backwards and forwards1 for more than an hour4 ,each time that they turned round they came for some little distance within sight of the house1 and then they were hidden from our view by the trees1 and we could not see them again till they came back to the same place4 ,they seemed to be talking very earnestly1 and now and again they stood still and spoke to each other face to face1 as though they were arguing some important point1 on which they could not agree1 or at least could not come to any satisfactory conclusion4 ,evelyn was very restless the whole time4 ,she began to follow the example of her father and uncle1 and to pace up and down the room2 but ,i insisted on her putting her feet up on the sofa and remaining quiet4 ,at length the two gentlemen brought their walk and their talk to a conclusion1 and came towards the house4 ,sir ,william ran upstairs as soon as he came in4 ,how are you1 my dear child8 he said to ,evelyn1 even more tenderly than usual4 ,you look so pale4 ,please take care of her1 ,miss ,lindsay1 and make her lie down4 ,what is the matter1 papa8 whispered ,evelyn1 whilst ,i prepared to leave the room1 thinking ,sir ,william might wish to speak to her alone4 ,oh1 ,i will tell you about it afterwards1 dear1 said her father2 it is some rather unpleasant business about which your uncle wanted to see me4 ,don't go away1 please1 ,miss ,lindsay2 we have letters to write at once1 ,i must not stay now4 ,in spite of ,evelyn's pleading glances1 ,sir ,william went downstairs1 and he and his brother1 after hastily partaking of dinner1 spent the rest of the evening together in ,sir ,william's private room4 ,what can it be8 ,evelyn kept saying4 ,what can papa mean by unpleasant business8 ,it can't be about what ,i told him the other night1 or he would have said so4 ,what can be the matter8 ,of course1 ,i could not help her to find out1 we could only wonder and wait4 ,mr4 ,edward ,trafford left the next morning at a very early hour1 that he might catch the first train for ,london4 ,sir ,william and ,i were alone at breakfast1 for ,evelyn was not well enough to rise4 ,how is ,evelyn this morning8 said ,sir ,william1 anxiously1 as ,i entered the room4 ,i told him that she had had a bad night1 and was still in bed4 ,oh dear6 ,oh dear6 he said4 ,i will not tell her to-day2 ,i think it might upset her still more2 ,i will wait till she is somewhat better4 ,don't you think1 ,sir ,william1 ,i ventured to say1 that the suspense of not knowing what is the matter is worse for ,evelyn than knowing the truth8 ,well1 perhaps you are right1 ,miss ,lindsay1 he said2 ,i will tell her after breakfast4 ,i hope it is no great trouble1 ,sir ,william8 ,well1 it is a most unpleasant business1 he said2 the fact is1 that nephew of mine is a downright rascal4 ,what poor ,evelyn ever saw to admire in him ,i never could tell4 ,i always knew he was good-for-nothing but mischief1 and he has proved ,i was right4 ,i will tell you about it1 ,miss ,lindsay1 and then you can advise me as to the best way of telling ,evelyn4 ,you know my brother was here yesterday--poor fellow1 he is dreadfully crushed by it6 ,i am very sorry for him1 although1 as ,i could not help telling him1 he has himself to blame for it4 ,he was so weak with that boy2 he gave him everything he wanted as a child1 and spoiled him1 and pampered him1 and petted him1 and let him order every one in the house about1 and then was foolish enough to expect him1 after this1 to turn out well1 and to earn his own living4 ,but to make a long story short1 my brother received a telegram the night before last1 telling him that his son had run off from the bank1 taking more than #ejj with him4 ,no one knows where he is gone1 and1 of course1 detectives have been sent off in all directions to catch him1 and his poor father is quite weighed down with shame and sorrow4 ,if he is found1 of course he will get a long term of imprisonment2 and1 if he escapes1 it is not likely that his friends will ever hear of him again1 for he will never dare to come to ,england4 ,where do they think he has gone8 ,i asked4 ,probably to ,spain1 ,sir ,william said1 but we cannot tell4 ,and now1 what do you think about my telling ,evelyn8 ,i am afraid it will upset her very much6 ,yes1 ,i said1 ,i am afraid it will2 she will feel it dreadfully1 but still ,i almost think it would be better to tell her1 for she must know some time1 and she will be less able to bear it if she is kept longer in suspense4 ,well1 said ,sir ,william1 ,i believe you are right1 ,miss ,lindsay2 ,i will go upstairs now2 it will be better to get it over4 ,i sat waiting his return in the library1 but more than an hour passed before he reappeared4 ,then he said1 ,i have told her1 ,miss ,lindsay1 and she bore it better than ,i expected1 poor child4 ,will you go upstairs and try to comfort her a little8 ,i went upstairs1 and found ,evelyn still in bed2 her face was buried in the pillow1 and she was crying bitterly4 ,i sat down beside her without speaking for some time1 just holding her hand in mine1 to show her how much ,i was feeling for her4 ,what could ,i say to comfort her8 ,i hardly knew what to say1 and perhaps1 after all1 silent sympathy was the best4 ,at length1 after a long time1 she grew calmer1 and then she said1 without uncovering her face3 ,oh1 ,may1 isn't it dreadful8 ,yes1 darling1 ,i said1 ,i am very1 very sorry2 ,i had no idea it was anything so dreadful as that6 ,no1 she said1 and ,i am sure ,i had not2 the very worst that ,i could think of was that ,donald had got very badly into debt1 and had wasted all his money4 ,i never dreamt that he-- ,but here she burst into tears1 and could not go on with what she was saying4 ,evelyn1 dear1 ,i said1 for your father's sake1 try not to make yourself ill2 he is so fond of you1 and so distressed at the thought of what this trouble must be to you4 ,yes1 she said through her tears1 papa has been so kind1 so very1 very kind4 ,he told me that it was because he loved me so much that he could not bear to think of me caring for ,donald4 ,papa says he always thought that ,donald was good-for-nothing2 but he seemed so nice1 ,may1 so very nice he was to me4 ,i knew he was foolish and careless1 but ,i never thought he could do a wicked thing like that6 ,evelyn had stopped crying now1 and could talk quite calmly4 ,do you remember1 ,may1 she said1 when he was here last1 something that ,donald said to you and to me about running away8 ,yes1 ,i said1 ,i remember it quite well2 he mentioned it twice when ,i was in the room4 ,yes1 she said1 so he did4 ,oh1 ,may1 could he have been thinking of taking the money then8 ,i do not know1 dear1 ,i said1 we must hope not2 we must hope that he yielded to a sudden temptation1 and that he has been sorry for it ever since4 ,oh1 ,may1 ,i am afraid not1 said ,evelyn2 do you know ,i seem to see ,donald in quite a different light from what ,i did before1--more as papa has been seeing him all the time4 ,i am afraid papa was right about him1 ,may1 and ,i was wrong4 ,ah6 ,poor1 poor ,donald6 ,will you ring for ,clemence1 ,may8 ,evelyn said1 a few minutes after this1 and ,i will get up2 ,i shall feel better if ,i am dressed and in the other room4 ,but the other room made very little difference in poor ,evelyn's spirits4 ,she tried to work1 she tried to read1 she tried to write1 but all were alike impossible2 her thoughts were ever busy with her trouble1 and every attempt to divert them was in vain4 ,as the day went on1 she talked much more1 and it seemed a relief to her to tell me everything that her father had told her that morning4 ,may1 she said1 did papa tell you about the ring8 ,no1 ,i said1 he only just told me in a few words what was the matter1 that ,i might be able to tell him whether ,i thought it would be better to tell you about it at once1 or to wait until to-morrow4 ,oh1 ,i am so glad you asked him to tell me to-day1 said ,evelyn2 it would have been dreadful to have waited all that time1 and not to have known what was the matter4 ,but ,i was going to tell you about the ring4 ,you know ,uncle ,edward went1 first of all1 as soon as he received the telegram1 to ,london1 that he might hear all he could about ,donald's disappearance4 ,he went1 amongst other places1 to his lodgings1 and looked about the room1 and turned over all his papers1 to see if he had left any note behind him2 and do you know ,uncle ,edward found such a quantity of bills1 most of them unopened1 and all of them unpaid1 and amongst others there was one from a ,london jeweller for a diamond ring worth #ge4 ,uncle ,edward could not imagine why ,donald had bought such an expensive ring1 and said it would be a very heavy sum to pay1 for he means to pay as many of the tradesmen as he can4 ,so then papa told him the story of the ring1 and gave it back to him1 that he might return it to the jeweller instead of paying the bill4 ,uncle ,edward was very much annoyed that ,donald should have treated papa so badly1 after papa's kindness to him1 for he would never have got that good place in the bank if it had not been for papa4 ,oh1 how ,i wondered if this was the opportunity for which ,i had been praying so long1 the opportunity of speaking to my dear ,evelyn about eternal things1 and of leading her to the ,saviour4 ,i hoped it was1 and ,i turned the hope into an earnest prayer1 that ,i might have the wisdom to follow as ,god should lead1 to step into the door as soon as ever ,his hand opened it4 ,once or twice ,i thought of speaking1 but then again ,i felt1 perhaps1 that1 till the first burst of her sorrow was over1 it was wiser to be silent4 ,but a sweet thought came across me as ,i sat at my work that evening1 that1 after all1 the nearest way to reach the heart of one we love is to go round by heaven2 and ,i tried1 oh1 how earnestly1 to reach ,evelyn's heart in that way4 ,illustration ,,chapter ,,xi4 ,,the ,,opportunity ,,given4 ,illustration ,,the next morning1 as ,i was looking at the newspaper on the library table1 my eyes caught the words ,ellis--,fitzgerald4 ,i found that it was an announcement of ,claude's and ,alice's marriage4 ,it was wonderful to me how calmly and composedly ,i could read it4 ,that trouble was1 in deed and in truth1 a thing of the past4 ,i could rejoice to-day2 the pain was over long ago4 ,i could thank ,god1 with all my heart1 that ,he had not let me yield to the temptation which at that time was so strong to me1 and that ,he had saved me from the lot which1 a year ago1 ,i had thought would be so bright4 ,i took the newspaper with me when ,i went to ,evelyn's room1 and pointed to the marriage4 ,i thought it might help to turn her thoughts a little from her trouble4 ,so ,alice is married1 poor girl6 she said4 ,i had forgotten that it was to be so soon4 ,why do you call her poor1 ,evelyn8 ,i asked4 ,most people would say happy girl4 ,oh1 ,i don't know1 said ,evelyn1 perhaps ,i ought not to have said so4 ,mr4 ,ellis is a great friend of yours1 ,i know2 but1 somehow1 ,i do not think ,i should like to marry him myself2 now would you1 ,may8 ,no1 ,i said1 very decidedly1 not at all4 ,we went on with our work without speaking for some time1 and then ,evelyn asked3 ,may1 do you remember what ,alice ,fitzgerald said about laughing trouble away8 ,yes1 ,i said1 quite well4 ,i don't at all agree with her1 said ,evelyn2 ,i can't laugh when ,i am in trouble1 it would be of no use trying4 ,i could not laugh to-day--if ,i tried to laugh1 ,i should begin to cry directly4 ,and even if you could laugh1 ,evelyn dear1 ,i said1 the trouble would come back again the next moment heavier than ever4 ,oh1 ,may1 said ,evelyn1 suddenly1 ,i wish ,i could do the other thing4 ,what other thing8 ,i asked4 ,why1 pray1 she said4 ,don't you remember you said that you always prayed when you were in trouble4 ,i wish ,i could do that4 ,i did not answer her until ,i had sent up an earnest prayer that ,i might use the opportunity now that it was given to me1 and that ,i might step inside the door1 which at last seemed to be opened to me4 ,but why can't you pray1 ,evelyn dear8 ,i asked4 ,well1 ,may1 ,i will tell you why1 she said2 ,i have wanted to talk to you about it so very much1 only ,i didn't like to begin4 ,you see ,i have been thinking a great deal lately1 and wishing that ,i was happy like you2 and1 one day when you were out of the room1 you left on the table a bundle of those little books that you take with you when you go to see your poor people2 so what do you think ,i did8 ,i thought ,i should like to see what they were about1 so ,i got one and read it2 and then ,i put it back so carefully afterwards1 just in the same place1 that you might not find out what ,i had been doing4 ,you did not find out8 ,oh no1 ,i said1 indeed ,i did not2 but which one was it that you read8 ,it was about the prodigal son2 don't you remember that one8 ,no1 ,i said1 ,i have not read them all2 was it a nice one8 ,yes1 very nice1 and it made it very clear about prayer4 ,i have been thinking of it often since4 ,will you tell me what you read8 ,i asked4 ,it pictured the prodigal son1 said ,evelyn1 going home1 after he had treated his poor old father so badly1 and beginning3 ',please1 father1 ,i want a new coat1' or1 ',please1 father1 give me some new shoes1' or1 ',please1 father1 ,i want some food very much4' ,it pictured him asking his father to supply his wants before ever he had asked him to forgive him for his bad behaviour to him4 ,that wouldn't have been the right way1 would it1 ,may8 ,no1 ,i said1 it would not have done for that to come before the ',father1 ,i have sinned against heaven1 and before thee1 and am no more worthy to be called thy son4' ,yes1 said ,evelyn1 and your little book said it was just the same now1 and yet so many people wanted to go to ,god1 and to ask ,him for all sorts of things when they got into trouble1 and yet they had never thought of asking ,him to forgive them4 ,i see what you mean1 ,i said2 we must speak to ,god about our sins1 before we can speak to ,him about our troubles4 ,oh1 ,may1 said ,evelyn1 ,i wish ,i could do that4 ,i wish ,i could talk to ,god about my sins4 ,i never know till now how bad ,i had been to ,him2 but last night ,i seemed to see myself in quite a different way4 ,i used to think1 ,may1 that ,i was not so very bad4 ,i didn't think that ,i was at all good like you1 still ,i thought that there was not so very much wrong with me4 ,but now ,i see that ,i'm bad altogether2 ,i don't think ,i have ever done anything good at all4 ,why don't you go and tell ,god that1 ,evelyn darling1 just as you have been telling me8 ,that would be a prayer1 just like the prayer of the prodigal son1 ',father1 ,i have sinned against heaven1 and before thee4' ,yes1 ,may1 she said2 but suppose ,i tell ,him that with all my heart1 is that enough8 ,yes1 quite enough1 if you ask ,god to forgive you because ,jesus has died1 and if you trust in ,jesus as your own ,saviour1 ,i said4 ,oh1 ,may1 said ,evelyn1 with a sigh1 come and sit beside me1 and make it very plain and simple for me--as you would for a little child4 ,i am so much afraid of making a mistake4 ,oh1 how earnestly ,i prayed that ,i might also make no mistake1 but might be helped to lead her to ,jesus6 ,evelyn1 ,i said1 ,i want to tell you something that ,i was reading in one of my favourite books the other day1 because ,i think it makes it so very plain4 ,you remember the three crosses on ,calvary8 ,yes1 she said1 there was the middle cross1 with ,jesus on it1 and on each side of ,him there was a thief4 ,yes1 ,i said1 and both the thieves had been great sinners1 both had led bad lives1 and yet1 oh1 how differently they died6 ,one thief went straight to ,paradise1 to be welcomed there by ,jesus1 the other went down to hell4 ,now1 why was there this difference8 ,did you ever think why it was that one thief was saved1 and the other thief was lost8 ,i suppose1 she said1 it was because one thief looked to ,jesus1 and the other did not4 ,yes1 ,i said1 quite so2 but that is not all4 ,what did looking to ,jesus do for the thief8 ,i don't know1 she said4 ,well1 ,i answered1 my book puts it in this way4 ,both thieves deserved to go to hell because of their sins2 both of them before they were nailed to the cross had sin in them1 for they both had sinful hearts1 they were born in sin1 and they were both sinners4 ,and they had also both of them sin on them1 the burden and guilt and punishment of their sins resting on them2 they both must suffer the consequences of their sin--both must go to hell4 ,yes1 she said1 ,i see that4 ,but now let us look at them again some hours later4 ,they have been nailed to the cross1 and one thief has looked to ,jesus1 but the other thief has not4 ,just look at the three crosses now4 ,first1 here is the thief who would have nothing to do with ,jesus4 ,has he still sin in him8 ,yes1 she said4 ,has he still the guilt of sin resting on him8 ,yes1 he is just as he was before4 ,now1 then1 look at the middle cross2 look at ,jesus1 has ,he sin in ,him8 ,oh no1 she said1 ,he never sinned2 ,he was quite holy4 ,but was there no sin on ,him8 ,i said4 ,was there1 ,may8 she asked4 ,yes1 ,i answered1 don't you remember it says1 ',the ,lord hath laid on ,him the iniquity of us all4' ,it was not ,his own sin that was resting on ,him1 but ours4 ,oh yes1 she said1 ,i see what you mean4 ,and now look at the third cross4 ,there hangs the thief who has looked to ,jesus4 ,he still has sin in him2 till he gets to heaven1 his heart will be sinful still4 ,but has he sin on him8 ,that is to say1 do the guilt and consequences of his sin still rest on him8 ,no1 ,i don't think they do1 she said4 ,oh no1 ,i said1 for he has laid his sin on ,jesus2 it is no longer resting on him3 it is taken off him1 and put on to ,jesus1 and therefore this thief is saved4 ,now1 do you see what looking to ,jesus means8 ,it means that the thief looked to ,jesus as the ,one who was being punished for his sin1 and who was suffering in his place4 ,do you see8 ,i think ,i do1 said ,evelyn4 ,well1 my book goes on to say1 that all the people in the world die as one or other of those thieves died4 ,all without exception die with sin in them1 for the ,bible tells us that 'if we say that we have no sin we deceive ourselves4' ,but those who look to ,jesus as the ,one who has been punished in their place1 though they have sin in them till they die1 yet they have no sin on them1 for the guilt and responsibility of their sins no longer rests on them1 but on ,jesus4 ,you remember that hymn3 ',i lay my sins on ,jesus1 ,the spotless ,lamb of ,god2 ,he bears them all1 and frees us ,from the accursed load4' ,yes1 she said1 ,i like that hymn very much4 ,i do wish ,i could do it1 ,may4 ,you are going to do it this morning1 ,evelyn dear1 ,i said4 ,oh1 ,may1 do you think ,i can8 she asked4 ,i am sure of it1 darling2 ,jesus is willing1 ,jesus is longing for you to cast your sin upon ,him4 ,he says to you3 ',look unto ,me1 as the ,one who died instead of you2 look unto ,me1 as the ,one who was punished in your place2 look unto ,me1 and be ye saved4' ,oh1 ,may1 ,i should like to do it at once1 she said4 ,so ,i went downstairs and left her alone1 and yet not alone4 ,i did not see ,evelyn again till ,i went upstairs to her room for luncheon4 ,she was lying quietly on the sofa where ,i had left her1 but she called me to her side and whispered3 ,oh1 ,may1 ,i am so happy now4 ,sin is still in me1 but no longer on me1 for ,i have laid it on ,jesus4 ,i need hardly say how very thankful ,i felt to ,god for answering my prayer4 ,it seemed almost too good to be true4 ,a blessing that we have been waiting for1 anxiously longing and waiting for1 is always of double value when it comes4 ,from that day ,i began1 as it were1 a new life in ,alliston ,hall4 ,before this1 ,evelyn used to dislike and avoid any approach to what she considered religious talk2 but now her great delight was to read a chapter with me in the ,bible1 and to ask me questions about anything which she did not quite understand4 ,i shall never forget that summer2 it was a very peaceful and a very happy one4 ,i had every reason to believe that ,evelyn's heart was indeed changed4 ,every one noticed the difference in her1 and many1 who did not understand what is the power of the ,holy ,spirit in the heart1 wondered what was the cause of it4 ,there was one who rejoiced in this change in ,evelyn quite as much as ,i did1 and that one was ,miss ,irvine4 ,she spent nearly the whole summer at ,alliston ,hall1 and ,evelyn1 instead of avoiding her company as she had so often done before1 delighted to have her with her1 that they might talk together about heavenly things4 ,day by day ,evelyn grew in grace1 and seemed more anxious about the welfare of her own soul1 and of the souls of those around her4 ,she was much braver than ,i was1 in speaking to others about their eternal welfare4 ,i often felt ashamed of myself when she told me how she had spoken to ,clemence1 or to one of the other servants2 and she did it in such a simple1 natural way1 that it was always well received1 and never gave offence4 ,but1 though ,evelyn was growing in grace day by day1 she was not growing in bodily strength4 ,indeed1 as the summer went on she seemed to get weaker instead of stronger4 ,the trouble she had had about her cousin ,donald had been so sudden and unexpected1 that she had not recovered from the effects of it4 ,evelyn never1 so far as ,i knew1 mentioned her cousin's name in ,sir ,william's presence1 and only once did she name him to me1 when she asked me if ,i knew whether anything had been heard of him2 but ,i noticed how anxiously she asked for the newspapers every day1 and with what trembling fingers she turned over the pages4 ,there had been an account of the affair in the ,times the same week that it happened1 and ,evelyn was continually expecting to find that ,mr4 ,trafford had been apprehended4 ,but there was no further notice of it in the newspapers1 and1 one day1 ,sir ,william told me that his nephew had evidently made his escape to some foreign land1 and he did not think that he would ever be heard of again4 ,as the summer passed away1 and the days became shorter and the nights cooler1 ,evelyn became no stronger2 she had a very troublesome cough1 which kept her awake at night1 and she looked pale and fragile4 ,sir ,william was very anxious about her1 and had many consultations with the doctors1 and at last it was agreed that the best thing possible for her would be to leave ,england for a time and to spend the winter abroad4 ,the doctors said that the warmer climate would be good for her health1 and ,sir ,william felt that the excitement and pleasure of travelling would turn her thoughts1 more than anything else1 from her trouble and disappointment4 ,and where do you think we are going1 ,may8 said ,evelyn1 when she had told me with great joy what her father had decided4 ,i do not know at all1 ,evelyn1 ,i said2 ,i thought perhaps it would be to ,mentone1 or perhaps somewhere in ,italy4 ,oh no1 said ,evelyn2 nowhere so commonplace as that6 ,guess again6 ,but ,i could not guess1 so she told me1 with great delight1 that ,sir ,william's plan was to go down the ,mediterranean to ,egypt1 and then1 if ,evelyn was well enough1 to go on in the early spring to ,jerusalem4 ,to ,jerusalem6 ,oh1 ,evelyn1 ,i said1 you will enjoy that4 ,yes1 and so will you1 ,may1 she said4 ,i know how you long to go there2 ,i was quite as glad for you as for myself1 when papa told me4 ,oh1 ,evelyn1 ,i said2 do you mean to say that ,i am going too8 ,i never dreamt of that4 ,of course you are going1 she said1 indignantly4 ,do you think ,i could do without you8 ,oh1 ,may1 isn't it delightful6 ,it seemed to me far too good and too wonderful to be true4 ,to go to ,jerusalem1 the city which our ,lord loved1 and over which ,he wept2 to see the hillsides where ,he so often sat1 and to tread the mountain paths on which ,his feet had so often walked1--this seemed far too great a joy ever to be mine4 ,but there was very little time to sit and dream over it1 for we were plunged1 at once1 into all the bustle and confusion which a departure from home for a long time causes in large households as well as in small ones4 ,we were to start in three weeks' time1 for ,sir ,william was anxious that we should get the sea-voyage over before the weather became colder and more unsettled4 ,he very kindly gave me leave to go to the ,manor ,house at ,branston for a few days1 that ,i might say good-bye to my little sister before being parted from her for so long4 ,i should never have thought of asking for a holiday at this busy time1 but ,sir ,william proposed it himself1 and was good enough to say1 when ,i began to suggest difficulties1 that he should insist upon my going whether ,i liked it or not4 ,it was indeed a pleasure for me to see my dear little ,maggie again1 and the three sisters were kindness itself to me4 ,but they did not at all like the idea of my going to ,jerusalem2 indeed1 at first1 they even wanted me to throw up my situation because of having to go abroad4 ,however1 when they saw that it was of no use trying to persuade me to do this1 and that ,i was looking forward to the proposed journey as to a most delightful and pleasant thing1 they all united in trying to warn me of the consequences4 ,miss ,jane had a very ancient book1 describing the adventures and narrow escapes of some travellers in ,palestine many years ago1 and she brought this book out from her bookcase1 and read all the most alarming passages for my edification1 till poor ,maggie was quite frightened1 and clung to me1 and said she would never let me go4 ,i assured them that travelling in ,palestine twenty years ago was a very different thing1 and that now the dangers were much less1 and the difficulties not nearly so numerous4 ,but ,miss ,jane did nothing but shake her head mournfully1 and said she should indeed be thankful if ,i came back alive2 whilst ,miss ,hannah and ,miss ,louisa actually shed tears at the bare thought of the perils ,i was about to undergo4 ,however1 ,i comforted them by promising to write often1 and ,i told them that ,i would give them an account of all my adventures1 though ,i did not think they would be so exciting or remarkable as those of the gentlemen in ,miss ,jane's book4 ,when ,i returned to ,alliston ,hall1 ,i found that all necessary preparations were made for the journey4 ,sir ,william was anticipating it quite as much as we were4 ,he had travelled a great deal when he was a young man1 and he was looking forward with pleasure to taking ,evelyn to some of the places which he had visited so many years before4 ,at length the last night came1 when everything was peeked1 and we had nothing to do but to sit at the window and to talk of the journey before us4 ,i was feeling the reaction1 which so often comes after the excitement of preparations for a journey1 and was almost wishing that1 after all1 we were not going so far away4 ,who could tell whether we should all return again8 ,who could tell whether ,i should ever see my little sister again8 ,at this moment the door was opened1 and a letter was brought in which had come by the evening post4 ,the letter was from dear ,miss ,irvine1 to say how much she should think of us whilst we ,were travelling1 and how often she should turn the text1 which she enclosed1 into prayer on our behalf4 ,what is the text1 ,i wonder8 said ,evelyn1 as she put down the letter4 ,oh1 ,i see2 here are two cards in the envelope2 one for you1 and one for me4 ,she handed me mine1 and the text seemed an answer to my fears3 ,the ,lord shall preserve thy going out and thy coming in from this time forth1 and even for evermore4 ,and underneath the text there was this hymn3 ,going out from the ones ,i love ,far over land and sea2 ,going out into dreary ways1 ,working1 my ,lord1 for ,thee2 ,going out with an anxious heart1 ,serving in earth's rough soil2 ,going out to the daily fight-- ,worry1 and care1 and toil4 ,going out when the work is done1 ,leaving the earthly strife2 ,going out to the unknown world1 ,passing through death to life2 ,going out1 and yet1 not alone1 ,lord1 ,thou wilt go before3 ,keep me1 ,lord1 in my going out1 ,now1 and for evermore4 ,coming in from the distant land1 ,thankful no more to roam2 ,coming in from the outer work1 ,meeting the cares at home2 ,coming in from the larger field1 ,sowing the ,master's seed2 ,dropping some in the children's hearts ,yearning their souls to feed4 ,coming in to the ,father's home1 ,welcomed with joy at last2 ,coming in1 to go out no more1 ,partings for ever past2 ,coming in1 and yet1 not alone-- ,standing beside the door3 ,meet me1 ,lord1 in my coming in1 ,now1 and for evermore4 ,illustration ,illustration ,,chapter ,,xii4 ,,brindisi4 ,illustration ,we left ,england1 and began our delightful journey at the end of ,october4 ,evelyn improved in health and spirits from the moment that we started1 and ,sir ,william was thoroughly happy in witnessing the enjoyment of his child4 ,i need hardly say what a treat this journey was to me4 ,i had never been out of ,england before1 and1 therefore1 everything abroad was quite new and strange to me1 and ,i felt as if ,i was having a very pleasant and delightful dream4 ,we spent some time in ,paris1 and went about to all the places of interest both in and near the city4 ,from ,paris we went to ,turin1 where we rested for more than a week1 before undertaking the long and tedious journey from ,turin to ,brindisi4 ,we arrived at ,brindisi late on ,saturday night2 we were all very tired and worn out1 and exceedingly glad to get to our journey's end4 ,we stayed at an hotel near the sea1 such a curious ,eastern-looking place1 with bare stone floors and whitewashed walls1 and only just as much furniture in the large rooms as was absolutely necessary4 ,the next morning ,i awoke early1 and went to my window and looked out4 ,it seemed a perfect fairy-land to me4 ,the harbour was as still as a lake1 and covered with the reflection of the ships and boats1 with their pretty lateen sails4 ,and beyond the harbour there was the blue ,mediterranean sparkling in the morning sunshine4 ,it looked very unlike ,sunday1 for work was going on just as on any other day2 and the people of ,brindisi were buying1 and selling1 and hurrying along1 as though it were the busiest day in the week4 ,i took my ,testament1 and sat at a little distance from the window1 and had a quiet time alone before ,clemence came to say that ,evelyn was dressed1 and was going downstairs for breakfast4 ,we were to go on board the steamer that night1 as it was to leave early the next morning2 but ,sir ,william arranged that during the day we should stay quietly at the hotel4 ,the weather had been very cold when we were at ,turin1 and we found a great change of climate at ,brindisi4 ,the sky was a deep1 unclouded blue1 and the sunshine was so hot that we found it difficult to keep cool4 ,evelyn and ,i discovered a seat on the flat roof of the hotel1 where we were shaded from the hot sun and could read together quietly4 ,we read aloud the ,psalms for the day1 verse by verse4 ,one of these was ,psalm cxxii41 and it was with a wonderfully strange feeling that we read those words3 ,our feet shall stand within thy gates1 ,o ,jerusalem4 ,may1 said ,evelyn1 can you believe that verse is really true of us8 ,when we had finished our reading1 ,sir ,william came out to us1 and persuaded us to venture out of the shady corner in which we had been sitting1 and to walk to the other end of the roof1 that we might look at the view to be seen from thence4 ,to our surprise we found that we were not alone on the roof4 ,an ,english gentleman was leaning over the parapet with a book in his hand1 looking towards the sea4 ,he turned round as we came up1 and slipped his book into his pocket4 ,i fancied that it was a ,bible4 ,sir ,william and the strange gentleman soon got into conversation about ,brindisi and its surroundings1 and he pointed out to us several objects of interest in the neighbourhood4 ,he was not a very young man1 though ,i fancied that he looked older than he really was4 ,there was something in his face1 when it was at rest1 which made me think that he had been through a great deal of trouble1 and yet1 when he smiled1 his whole face was lighted up in a moment1 and he looked perfectly different4 ,he was not exactly a handsome man1 and yet his was a face which1 having once seen1 you could never forgot1 and which you could not help liking4 ,that was my first impression of ,mr4 ,stanley1 so far as ,i can now remember4 ,sir ,william was very charmed with him1 and said afterwards that he had seldom met such a well-read1 sensible man4 ,we sat together on the roof1 and ,evelyn and ,i acted the part of listeners1 whilst the two gentlemen talked4 ,you are going to ,jerusalem1 ,i think1 said ,mr4 ,stanley1 as ,sir ,william was unfolding his plans to him2 ,i have been there several times4 ,this led to many inquiries on ,sir ,william's part about the accommodation to be found in ,jerusalem1 etc4 etc4 ,but ,evelyn and ,i wondered very much how ,mr4 ,stanley knew that we were going to ,jerusalem4 ,could he have heard us reading that ,psalm1 and saying that it was soon to be true of us8 ,i am afraid you will be disappointed in ,jerusalem1 said ,mr4 ,stanley1 turning to us2 you must remember that though it is still 'beautiful for situation1' yet ,jerusalem is no longer 'the joy of the whole earth4' ,it is1 indeed1 beautiful at a distance1 and every one is charmed who sees it for the first time2 but when you go inside the walls1 and know it well1 you cannot help feeling depressed and saddened4 ,but there are brighter days coming for ,jerusalem1 ,i ventured to say4 ,yes1 indeed1 said ,mr4 ,stanley1 ,jerusalem will be a hundredfold more than she ever was before--the ,city of the ,great ,king4 ,but ,sir ,william always regarded the study of prophecy as a mixture of presumption and romance1 and he quickly led the conversation into a different channel2 but ,i longed to hear what ,mr4 ,stanley's views were about the return of the ,jews and the restoration of ,jerusalem4 ,that evening we went on board the steamer which was to take us to ,alexandria4 ,there were a great many first-class passengers1 and we had some difficulty in obtaining a cabin to ourselves4 ,at length ,sir ,william managed to secure a small one for ,evelyn and me1 in which there were only two berths1 and as soon as table d'hte was over1 we went to our cabin4 ,there were very few passengers present at dinner2 ,mr4 ,stanley was there1 and a few others whom we had seen in the hotel at ,brindisi2 but most of the people came on board as we were going to bed4 ,they had just arrived by the late train from ,turin1 and had secured their cabins beforehand by telegraphing to the captain4 ,evelyn and ,i were undressing when we heard a voice in the saloon1 which we were almost sure we knew4 ,it was a lady's voice1 and she was giving orders to the stewardess in an imperious tone1 with regard to the arrangement of her cabin4 ,that must be ,lady ,eldridge1 said ,evelyn to me2 it is exactly like her voice4 ,clemence went1 at this moment1 to get some hot water1 and returned with the information that it was ,lady ,eldridge1 and that she had taken the next cabin to ours4 ,oh dear6 said ,evelyn4 ,i wonder where she is going4 ,i hope not to ,cairo2 ,i remember she often spends the winter there4 ,well1 we shall hear in the morning6 ,as ,lady ,eldridge's voice had been the last thing we heard at night1 so it was the first thing that we heard in the morning4 ,she had brought no maid with her2 and1 as she was utterly unable to do anything for herself1 she was constantly calling the poor stewardess1 who had already more work than she could get through1 to help her in the various stages of her toilet4 ,oh dear6 said ,evelyn1 as ,lady ,eldridge's voice was heard again and again1 ,i do hope she is not going to ,cairo2 we must find out at once4 ,we met ,lady ,eldridge at breakfast2 she professed herself delighted beyond measure at meeting ,sir ,william and ,evelyn1 and wished to know where they were going1 and how long she would have the wonderful pleasure of travelling in their company4 ,it is such trying work travelling alone1 my dear1 she said to ,evelyn1 and ,i am naturally very nervous2 it is really quite miraculous my meeting you4 ,sir ,william1 ,i feel sure1 will not refuse to take me under his care4 ,sir ,william bowed1 and said he would be very glad to help ,lady ,eldridge in any way he could2 but ,i did not think he seemed particularly glad of the addition to our party1 for such ,lady ,eldridge1 from that moment1 considered herself to be4 ,she turned over all responsibility about her baggage to ,sir ,william1 and she used ,clemence as freely as if she had been her own maid4 ,but1 said ,lady ,eldridge1 as we were finishing breakfast1 you have never yet told me where you are going1 ,evelyn1 my dear4 ,evelyn was about to answer her1 when1 to my surprise1 ,sir ,william prevented her4 ,our plans are not yet formed1 ,lady ,eldridge1 he said2 ,i am going to consider this morning what our tour will be1 and then ,i shall be able to let you know4 ,oh1 you must come to ,cairo1 said ,lady ,eldridge1 decidedly2 there is no place like ,cairo in the winter4 ,the climate is simply perfect1 my dear1 she said1 turning to ,evelyn4 ,now1 ,sir ,william1 you must decide to stay at least three months at ,cairo1 and then we can all spend the winter together4 ,now come1 ,i think that is a capital plan6 ,sir ,william smiled1 and said he would consider the matter2 but there were many other places that he wished to visit1 and he could not make up his mind hastily4 ,we did not see much of ,lady ,eldridge after breakfast1 for she remained in the saloon the whole day reading a ,french novel1 and seemed to think us very extraordinary girls because we chose to go on deck4 ,evelyn and ,i found a sheltered seat1 where the cold wind did not reach us2 and here we sat with our books and our work until the evening4 ,the steamer had started early in the morning1 and though a fresh breeze was blowing1 still the sea was not uncomfortably rough1 and we were beginning to think that sea voyages were not half so disagreeable and uncomfortable as people made them out to be4 ,sir ,william paced up and down the deck with ,mr4 ,stanley nearly all the morning1 discussing his future plans4 ,every now and then they stopped to examine a map or a guidebook2 and at length they sat down on a seat1 and ,sir ,william took a pencil from his pocket1 and wrote at ,mr4 ,stanley's dictation4 ,i wonder what papa has settled6 said ,evelyn4 ,i wish he would come and tell us4 ,i am sure he does not want to go to ,cairo1 now that ,lady ,eldridge is going there4 ,did not you notice that he would not let me say where we were going8 ,when ,sir ,william had finished writing1 he and ,mr4 ,stanley came towards us1 and ,sir ,william told us1 to our great joy1 that we were going at once to ,jerusalem4 ,mr4 ,stanley had told him that there was a clean1 comfortable hotel there1 and that the climate in ,december and ,january was generally beautiful4 ,so ,i think we will stop in ,jerusalem a month or two1 said ,sir ,william1 and then decide where we go next4 ,what do you say to that1 ,evelyn8 ,oh1 papa1 said ,evelyn1 it is just what ,i wanted4 ,i am longing to get to ,jerusalem6 ',our feet shall stand within thy gates1 ,o ,jerusalem1' said ,mr4 ,stanley1 with a smile4 ,and then we were sure that he had heard us reading the ,psalm4 ,at sunset the wind became very strong2 the ship rolled heavily1 and the passengers were glad to go to their cabins4 ,it was a dreadful night4 ,i shall never forget it4 ,every hour the storm became more terrible4 ,i had never thought that a storm at sea could be so dreadful4 ,the waves were beating over our heads1 and1 every now and then1 the cabin was lighted up by a vivid flash of lightning1 which was followed almost immediately by a terrible clap of thunder4 ,every two or three minutes we heard the crash of breaking crockery1 and the broken cups1 and jugs1 and glasses were thrown backwards and forwards on the floor1 as the ship pitched and tossed4 ,i wonder that so many people have such peaceful ideas of the ,mediterranean ,sea1 after reading the ,bible accounts of it4 ,oh1 how often during that dreadful night we thought of ,st4 ,paul in the storm1 probably just in this very part of the ,mediterranean2 and we could so well picture that scene in ,jonah's life when the sailors1 unwilling to cast him overboard1 made a last mighty effort to bring the ship to land1 but the sea wrought and was tempestuous1 and they were not able to manage it4 ,and then ,david's description of the storm1 in ,psalm cvii41 must refer to this very sea4 ,how often we repeated those verses to each other that night3 ',he maketh the storm a calm1 so that the waves thereof are still4 ,then are they glad because they be quiet2 so ,he bringeth them unto their desired haven4' ,oh1 ,may1 said ,evelyn1 as ,i crept to her side when the storm was at its height1 what a comfort it is to know we are safe1 isn't it8 ,yes1 ,i said1 ,i cannot think how any one dare travel1 and go through all the perils by land and water1 without knowing that4 ,i should not have known it if we had come a year ago1 said ,evelyn4 ,oh1 ,may1 ,i should have been terribly frightened then6 ,we did not sleep once the whole night1 and very long the hours seemed to us4 ,at about three o'clock in the morning we heard ,lady ,eldridge's voice loudly crying for help4 ,she was calling1 first for ,clemence and then for the stewardess1 but their cabins were at the other end of the saloon1 and neither of them heard her4 ,what can she want8 said ,evelyn4 ,i put on my dressing-gown1 and managed to go as far as the door of ,lady ,eldridge's cabin1 that ,i might see what was the matter4 ,just look here1 ,miss ,lindsay6 she said4 ,the porthole has burst open1 and the water has come over my bed4 ,do go and call the stewardess1 and tell her to bring me clean linen and blankets4 ,i don't know whether ,i can walk as far as the stewardess's cabin1 ,lady ,eldridge1 ,i said1 but ,i will try2 it is terribly rough6 ,oh1 nonsense6 she said4 ,hold on by the wall1 and you will be all right4 ,you don't mean to say you are sea-sick1 ,miss ,lindsay2 you should get over it4 ,i never believe in sea-sickness2 if people only try they can keep it off4 ,i feel as well at sea as on land6 ,i could not help thinking that1 this being the case she might have gone for the stewardess herself1 instead of insisting that ,i should go for her4 ,however1 ,i did my best1 and managed to stagger down the saloon1 though ,i fell several times1 and cut my hand very much with a broken plate1 which was being swept across the floor1 backwards and forwards1 as the vessel rolled from side to side4 ,i found the stewardess lying on the bed in her cabin1 crying4 ,she told me that she was a widow with three little children1 whom she had left in ,england4 ,she had been persuaded to try this way of earning her living1 and this was her first voyage2 but she did not think she could ever go again1 she had no idea that it would be so dreadful4 ,she told me this as she was getting out the sheets for ,lady ,eldridge's bed1 and she said that1 just as ,i came in1 she was crying because she thought she would never see her little children again4 ,i tried to say a word to comfort her1 but the noise of the storm was so great that we could hardly hear each other speak4 ,it was some time before she had collected everything that was necessary1 and ,lady ,eldridge was very impatient and cross when we arrived at her cabin4 ,i helped the stewardess to arrange the bed1 and then went back to my own berth1 very thankful to be able to lie still again4 ,morning came1 but the storm still continued4 ,it raged all ,tuesday1 all ,tuesday night1 and all ,wednesday1 and we were not able to leave our cabin the whole time4 ,only on ,wednesday did the storm begin to abate1 and we were able at last to have a quiet sleep4 ,we awoke on ,thursday1 to find the wind gone and the sea much calmer4 ,we were to arrive at ,alexandria in the afternoon1 and every one seemed glad that the stormy voyage was drawing to a close4 ,lady ,eldridge was very much annoyed when she found that we were not going with her to ,cairo4 ,she told ,sir ,william that it was simple madness1 on his part1 to take a delicate girl like ,evelyn to ,jerusalem2 but ,sir ,william only smiled1 and said it was ,evelyn's wish as well as his own1 and he thought that1 if ,lady ,eldridge made further inquiries1 she would find that in the winter months the climate of ,jerusalem was all that could be desired4 ,i had a talk with the stewardess that morning1 and ,i was so glad to find that the poor woman knew where to turn for comfort and for help4 ,she was a real ,christian1 and1 in simple faith1 she had trusted her children to ,god's care1 and she felt sure that ,he would watch over them till she was able to be with them again4 ,she had left them with her brother and his wife1 and her thoughts seemed to be constantly with her little absent treasures4 ,i was so glad that ,i had spoken to her1 for she thanked me very much1 and told me that the few words ,i had said to her in the storm had been a great comfort to her1 and had made her ashamed of herself for being afraid4 ,at length we arrived at ,alexandria1 and very much enjoyed the sight which met our eyes--the intensely white city1 the blue water in the harbour--the pilot1 with a dark hood over his head1 arriving in his little boat1 and coming on board the steamer2 and then the countless other boats1 filled with clamorous ,arabs1 who were contending with one another to secure the largest number of passengers to row to shore4 ,it was very curious to watch them fighting like wild beasts for their prey1 and looking so picturesque in their various costumes that it was impossible to feel angry with them4 ,after much pushing1 and quarrelling1 and scuffling1 and shouting had been gone through1 we found ourselves in the same boat with ,mr4 ,stanley1 who had taken us all1 ,lady ,eldridge included1 under his care1 and had bargained on our behalf in ,arabic1 and made1 after much difficulty1 a fair agreement with the boatman as to the price he would charge for his boat4 ,we stayed one night in ,alexandria at the hotel1 but we did not see much of the city1 for we were too tired and worn out with the voyage to go out1 and were glad to rest quietly until it was time to go on board the ship which was to take us to ,jaffa1 and which started early the next day4 ,we left ,lady ,eldridge in the hotel1 and were not sorry to say good-bye to her4 ,it was a small old-fashioned vessel which was to take us the rest of the way1 very dirty and forlorn1 and very different from the comfortable steamer of the ,peninsular and ,oriental ,company which we had just left2 but the sea was calm1 so we felt as if we could thankfully bear any amount of discomfort4 ,we were the only first-class passengers on board1 but a large party of travellers were to join us at ,port ,said1 and they had already engaged their cabins4 ,we stayed on deck until quite late that evening1 walking up and down1 looking at the sun setting over the sea1 and talking of all that was before us4 ,sir ,william had numberless questions to ask about ,jerusalem1 and ,mr4 ,stanley was well able to answer them all1 for only two years before he had spent a whole winter in ,jerusalem that he might sketch some of the many places of interest in the city and its neighbourhood2 and he promised1 at ,sir ,william's request1 to let us see his sketches some day4 ,illustration ,,chapter ,,xiii4 ,,was ,,it ,,he8 ,illustration ,,early on ,saturday morning we arrived at ,port ,said1 and ,sir ,william proposed that we should go on shore and escape from our uncomfortable quarters in the dirty little steamer4 ,we had no difficulty in obtaining a boat rowed by ,arabs1 but immediately we touched land1 we were marched off to the ,custom ,house1 that our passports might be examined4 ,sir ,william had been told in ,london that passports were now quite unnecessary1 so we had not provided ourselves with any1 and he was rather at a loss what to do4 ,however1 ,mr4 ,stanley came to the rescue1 and after he had harangued the ,turkish officers in ,arabic1 and had given them a proper amount of baksheesh1 we were politely bowed out of the office and allowed to enter the town1 although we had no passports4 ,here ,mr4 ,stanley left us1 and we found our way to the one hotel of the place1 where we had breakfast amidst a crowd of ,english and ,american travellers1 who we found were to be our companions into ,syria4 ,the hotel was uncomfortably small and very noisy1 so after breakfast we took a walk to see what was to be seen in ,port ,said4 ,it was such a curious town2 it looked as if it had sprung up in a single night like a mushroom4 ,nearly all the houses were made of wood1 and looked like large booths put up hastily for a pleasure fair1 to be taken down again as soon as the fair was over4 ,the streets1 or rather the empty spaces between the rows of houses1 for they did not deserve the name of streets1 were covered with orange-peel1 oyster-shells1 dead dogs and cats1 decaying vegetables1 and all manner of filth2 and the whole place looked1 ,sir ,william said1 like pictures he had seen of the wooden towns set up near the gold-diggings in ,america4 ,we met people of almost every nationality in the streets of ,port ,said4 ,many of them were very unprepossessing in appearance1 and we were told that a number of the worst men of all nations find their way there1 for they know that there is very little law or order in the town1 and that they will therefore be free from observation1 and allowed to do as they like4 ,the week before we arrived at ,port ,said there had been a great many murders there1 and we saw a notice in the hotel advising ,europeans not to go out after dark1 as the authorities would not answer for the consequences if they did so4 ,an open square in front of the hotel had been turned into a garden4 ,there were not many flowers in it1 but there were a few trees and shrubs1 and a small stone fountain stood in the centre4 ,there was a seat in this garden1 and ,sir ,william1 ,evelyn1 and ,i sat here for some time1 watching the tourists coming in and out of the hotel1 consulting their guidebooks1 asking countless questions of their dragoman1 and apparently very impatient to be once more on the move4 ,there were several ,french shops1 in a block of buildings which formed one side of the square4 ,evelyn caught sight of these1 and asked me if ,i thought she would be able to buy one or two little things which she was anxious to get before going to ,jerusalem1 where1 she said1 ,i suppose we shall find no shops at all4 ,go and see1 my dear1 said ,sir ,william1 and ,i will wait here till you come back2 ,i shall be close by if you want me for anything1 and ,i can see which shops you are in as ,i sit here4 ,so ,evelyn and ,i opened the gate of the hotel garden1 and crossed the road to the shops4 ,they were very curious shops1 a great variety of articles seemed to be sold in them2 all kinds of ,french goods1 fancy articles of every description1 and a few useful things1 such as travelling bags1 knapsacks1 sunshades1 and pith helmets4 ,we selected the shop which appeared most likely to contain all we wished to buy4 ,evelyn went in first1 and ,i followed her4 ,the shopman was at the other end of the shop1 attending to some customers1 and ,evelyn and ,i examined the articles which were exposed for sale until he was ready to wait upon us4 ,then he came up to us1 and asked in ,french what we wanted4 ,evelyn looked up from the box of ornaments over which she was bending1 and was about to answer him1 when ,i saw her suddenly start back in astonishment4 ,i looked up1 to see what had taken her so much by surprise1 and ,i saw in a moment what it was4 ,the young man in the shop was no ,french tradesman1 as we had taken him to be2 he was her cousin1 ,donald ,trafford6 ,evelyn had not looked at him when we first came into the shop1 but as soon as their eyes met she recognised him1 in spite of his foreign dress and appearance2 and he1 at the same moment1 recognised her4 ,before we had time to recover from our surprise he was gone2 he had disappeared through a door into an inner room1 and had sent a young ,frenchwoman to wait upon us4 ,oh1 ,may1 whispered ,evelyn to me1 never mind about the things2 let us go back to papa6 ,i made some excuse to the ,french girl1 telling her that we could not wait longer1 and we left the shop at once4 ,but when we were outside1 ,evelyn turned so white and faint that ,i did not know how to get her back to the garden4 ,i made signs to ,sir ,william to come2 but he was reading the newspaper1 and did not look up1 and ,i did not like to leave ,evelyn alone whilst ,i went to call him4 ,at this moment1 to my great joy1 ,mr4 ,stanley came up1 and seeing how ill ,evelyn looked1 at once offered her his arm1 and walked with her back to her father4 ,as ,i followed them into the garden ,i could not help contrasting ,mr4 ,stanley's open1 manly face with that of ,mr4 ,donald ,trafford1 who had by no means improved in appearance since ,i saw him last4 ,i wondered whether ,evelyn was struck by the difference4 ,i almost thought that she was1 for she thanked ,mr4 ,stanley very pleasantly for his kind help1 and explained that she had suddenly turned faint when she was in the shop1 but said she would be quite better in a few moments4 ,sir ,william was very much frightened when he saw his daughter come up to him1 looking as pale as death1 and leaning on ,mr4 ,stanley's arm2 but she tried to laugh him out of his fears1 and told him that she was rather tired1 and that it was nothing of consequence4 ,mr4 ,stanley1 however1 hurried up to the hotel to get a glass of water1 and1 as soon as he was gone1 ,evelyn burst into tears4 ,what is the matter1 my darling8 said ,sir ,william1 in a very distressed voice4 ,i am afraid the journey has been too much for you4 ,perhaps ,i was foolish not to follow ,lady ,eldridge's advice1 and go on with her to ,cairo4 ,you are not strong enough to rough it yet2 ,i almost think we had better turn back4 ,oh no1 papa1 it is not that1 said ,evelyn2 it is not that at all4 ,tell him1 ,may1 what it was4 ,evelyn had a great surprise when she went into that shop1 ,sir ,william1 ,i said1 for there1 dressed like a foreigner1 and selling behind the counter1 was her cousin1 ,mr4 ,trafford6 ,donald6 said ,sir ,william1 starting from his seat4 ,donald in that shop6 ,surely not6 ,surely you must have been mistaken6 ,i cannot think that he would dare to come to a place like ,port ,said1 where so many ,english people are continually passing through4 ,oh no1 ,evelyn1 child1 you must be wrong4 ,no1 ,sir ,william1 ,i said1 we certainly saw ,mr4 ,trafford2 ,i am quite sure we were not mistaken4 ,at this moment ,mr4 ,stanley returned1 and we could not talk any more about it4 ,but ,sir ,william seemed lost in thought1 and did not enter into the conversation1 which ,evelyn and ,i tried to keep up4 ,miss ,lindsay1 he said1 at last1 would you show me in which of those shops you made your purchases just now8 ,evelyn dear1 you sit still here till we come back4 ,mr4 ,stanley1 may ,i leave my daughter in your care for a few minutes8 ,i thought ,mr4 ,stanley was not sorry to be left in charge2 but ,evelyn had turned as pale as she was before1 and was trembling from head to foot4 ,sir ,william and ,i left them on the seat near the fountain1 and walked towards the row of shops4 ,i really think you must have been mistaken1 ,miss ,lindsay1 he repeated2 but ,i told him that ,i was sure that ,mr4 ,trafford had recognised us1 for he had strangely and suddenly disappeared1 and had sent a ,frenchwoman to wait upon us4 ,i waited outside1 whilst ,sir ,william went into the shop4 ,he came out in a few minutes1 looking very much relieved4 ,it is quite a mistake1 ,miss ,lindsay1 he said2 ,donald ,trafford is not here2 ,i have made full inquiries4 ,then he told me that there was no one but the ,frenchwoman in the shop when he went in1 but that he had asked to see the young ,englishman who was waiting in the shop about a quarter of an hour before4 ,the ,frenchwoman1 however1 had assured him that there was no ,englishman there1 nor was there any one who could speak ,english4 ,it must have been her husband whom the ladies had seen2 he was in the shop a few minutes ago1 but he was an ,italian--his name was ,signor ,rialti4 ,sir ,william had asked to speak to her husband1 but she told him he had been suddenly called away on business2 he was away now1 and would not return till ,monday4 ,then ,signor ,rialti is evidently the name ,mr4 ,trafford has taken1 ,i said4 ,oh1 ,i think not1 ,miss ,lindsay1 said ,sir ,william1 decidedly2 you and ,evelyn have been mistaken4 ,i have no doubt that the young ,italian bears a strong resemblance to ,donald ,trafford1 and that that circumstance has led you both to imagine that it must be he4 ,but1 though ,i was silenced by ,sir ,william's very decided manner1 still ,i was far from being convinced2 for ,i was firmly persuaded in my own mind that it was indeed ,evelyn's cousin whom we had seen that morning4 ,mr4 ,stanley seemed to notice1 with the ready perception which he always showed1 that something had happened to disturb us1 and that we should like to be left alone1 for in a few minutes he made an excuse about having to call on some one at the other end of ,port ,said1 and took leave of us4 ,well1 ,evelyn1 said ,sir ,william1 as soon as we were alone1 you were quite wrong4 ,you need not have been so agitated1 dear2 it was quite a mistake4 ,and he told her what he had heard in the shop4 ,it is all a tale1 papa1 she said1 when he had finished2 ,donald is afraid of being found out1 and he has put her up to telling that story1 in case any inquiries should be made about him4 ,he would not be back till ,monday1 did she say8 ,of course not2 he knows quite well that the steamer will not start until early on ,monday morning4 ,but ,sir ,william would not be convinced4 ,his wish was1 ,i think1 father to the thought1 for he would have been very much puzzled as to how he ought to act had he indeed found his nephew1 and he was therefore only too glad to believe that he was still in ignorance of ,mr4 ,trafford's hiding-place4 ,i saw ,evelyn glancing several times at the ,french shop as we sat there talking of other things1 and ,i was glad for her sake when ,sir ,william proposed that we should return to the ship4 ,we spent a very comfortless ,sunday on board the wretched little steamer4 ,it was impossible to find any quiet place below1 for the saloon was filled by the large party which we had seen at the hotel at ,port ,said1 and most of them spent the day in playing at cards and chess1 and in talking over their journey in loud voices2 and they made so much noise that we found it was utterly useless to attempt to read or to be quiet there4 ,so we went on deck and found a shady corner1 where we were at least in comparative quiet4 ,but the lower deck was the scene of great confusion and noise1 for a number of pilgrims1 who were on their way to ,jerusalem1 were coming on board4 ,there were ,greek pilgrims1 ,latin pilgrims1 and ,moslem pilgrims1 all of them dressed in what seemed to us the most fantastic manner4 ,they were regular ,eastern and dreadfully filthy1 and they were all jabbering their various languages at the top of their voices4 ,mr4 ,stanley told us that as ,easter draws near1 the steamers are crammed with these pilgrims1 on their way to the different shrines and holy places4 ,they come from great distances1 and go through wonderful fatigue1 and spend large sums of money to obtain1 as they vainly hope1 forgiveness of sin4 ,i often think1 ,mr4 ,stanley said1 that their earnestness puts us to shame4 ,yes1 said ,evelyn1 as she watched a fresh detachment come on board1 and do you not long to tell them how sin can really be forgiven8 ,i do indeed1 said ,mr4 ,stanley2 but1 ,miss ,trafford1 have you any idea what a difficult matter that would be8 ,how many different languages do you think ,i should have to learn before ,i could speak to all these pilgrims8 ,we thought perhaps five or six would be necessary1 but ,mr4 ,stanley told us1 to our astonishment1 that he had just had a conversation with a gentleman who had taken the trouble to go round the vessel in order to find out what were the different nationalities of the people on board1 and he had made the discovery that there were men from no fewer than thirty different nations in that one steamer4 ,we sailed from ,port ,said on ,sunday evening1 and came in sight of ,jaffa at six o'clock the next morning4 ,we were up very early1 for we were longing to get our first view of ,palestine4 ,it was a lovely morning2 the sea was as smooth as a mill-pond1 and the view was exceedingly beautiful1 as the sun rose behind the ,judean hills4 ,jaffa looked a very pretty place as we saw it from the deck of the steamer1 with its white houses overlooking the blue ,mediterranean1 a green circle of orange trees round it1 and the quiet hills beyond4 ,but we had little time to realise the fact that we were now gazing at the very spot from which ,jonah took ship for ,tarshish1 and where ,peter lodged and saw that wondrous vision1 and where ,dorcas lived and made garments for the poor1 in those far-off ,bible days4 ,we had very little time for thought of any kind1 for1 as soon as we came in sight of ,joppa1 numberless boats came out to meet us1 as they had done at ,alexandria1 and after the usual tumult we secured one1 and were rowed to the shore1 which was a mile and a half away4 ,this is not at all a safe undertaking in stormy weather1 for the only entrance to the harbour is a very narrow opening between most dangerous rocks4 ,the harbour of ,joppa is a natural one1 and has never been improved since the time of ,solomon1 when the timber1 which ,hiram out down in the ,lebanon1 must have been brought to land through this very passage between the rocks4 ,when we drew near the shore we saw crowds of ,arabs waiting for us1 screaming and fighting and wrestling in savage earnestness4 ,they seemed ready to tear us in pieces rather than lose the chance of carrying our luggage to the hotel4 ,it really was a terrible sight to those unaccustomed to ,eastern vehemence4 ,evelyn was very much frightened and clung to her father1 and even ,sir ,william seemed agitated and alarmed4 ,but ,mr4 ,stanley's quiet voice reassured us4 ,oh1 it is nothing1 he said2 you don't know what ,arabs are yet2 they always make a noise like this4 ,it is nothing unusual1 ,i assure you1 he added1 laughing1 as he fought a passage for us through the howling crowd1 and led the way to the little ,custom ,house1 which was already crowded with the travellers who had arrived before us4 ,we had1 therefore1 to wait outside for some time2 but ,mr4 ,stanley kept the ,arabs who had followed us at bay1 and gave ,evelyn a camp-stool to sit upon1 for she was looking faint and tired1 and the heat1 even at that early hour1 seemed to us to be very great4 ,at last the ,turkish officer was at liberty to receive the baksheesh1 which ,mr4 ,stanley had ready for him4 ,he passed our boxes without opening them1 and we were allowed to proceed to the hotel4 ,it was a tiring walk1 for the streets of ,jaffa are covered with hot1 burning sand1 in which your feet sink every step you take4 ,they are very narrow1 and every now and then we looked round to find ourselves nearly knocked down by a huge camel1 with boxes on its back1 which had come noiselessly behind us over the soft sand2 or a mule1 laden with luggage1 and rushing frantically along1 was determined to pass us1 and pushed its way through our midst in the most resolute manner4 ,mr4 ,stanley had advised us to go as far as ,ramleh that day1 as it is forty miles' ride from ,jaffa to ,jerusalem1 and he thought we should be too tired if we went so far in one day4 ,accordingly that afternoon1 he hired horses for us1 and we mounted for our first ride in ,palestine4 ,it was no easy matter guiding our horses through the crowds of ,arabs1 the strings of camels and mules1 and the heaps of filth1 in the streets of ,jaffa4 ,we were glad to leave the town and get into the road1 which took us through one of the orange groves by which ,jaffa is surrounded4 ,everything looked so strange and ,eastern1 and the scent of the oranges was delicious4 ,we passed through the ,plain of ,sharon1 and at about five o'clock in the evening we reached ,ramleh1 after rather more than four hours' ride4 ,illustration ,illustration ,,chapter ,,xiv4 ,,jerusalem4 ,illustration ,,there are some moments in our lives which it is impossible for us to describe4 ,we never forget them1 and the impression which they leave behind never fades from our memories2 but still when we try to speak of them to others1 even to those whom we love best1 words fail us1 and seem too weak to express what we mean4 ,i will not1 therefore1 attempt to describe what was the rush of feeling which passed through my heart when1 for the first time1 ,i came in sight of ,jerusalem4 ,others who have had a like privilege will understand what ,i felt1 as ,mr4 ,stanley made us pull up our horses on the top of a hill1 about half a mile from the city gate1 and said to us1 ,well1 what do you think of ,jerusalem8 ,neither ,evelyn nor ,i could answer him4 ,sir ,william had many questions to ask about the houses and buildings on the road leading to the ,jaffa ,gate1 but we scarcely heard what they were saying4 ,at that moment1 it seemed to us a matter of very small importance which was the ,austrian consul's house2 which was the ,pacha's country residence2 which was the ,german deaconesses' school2 and which were the ,russian church and convent4 ,all these details interested us afterwards1 when we were more familiar with ,jerusalem2 but at that moment1 when we were able1 for the first time in our lives1 to say ,this is ,jerusalem6 we had neither time nor thought to spare for any interest in the modern buildings of the city4 ,we rode on in silence1 seeing1 as if in a dream1 the crowds of people taking their evening walk on the ,jaffa road--people of numerous nations1 and from every quarter of the globe1 dressed in costumes as varied as the colours of the rainbow4 ,mr4 ,stanley rode up close beside me as we went through the ,jaffa ,gate1 and said1 in a low voice1 ,i know just how you are feeling1 ,miss ,lindsay2 it is1 indeed1 a wonderful moment in one's life6 ,we had some difficulty in getting through the gate1 for a number of camels and mules were coming out of the city at the time1 heavily laden with baggage4 ,then we passed the ,tower of ,david1 and turned down a quiet street1 where stood the hotel in which ,mr4 ,stanley had secured rooms for us4 ,he took leave of us here1 as he was going to lodge at the ,latin ,convent1 which was in another part of the city1 and where he had stayed when he was last in ,jerusalem4 ,the landlady of the hotel was a ,scotch woman1 and was very kind and attentive4 ,our rooms were beautifully clean1 with white stone floors1 white walls1 white curtains before the windows1 and white coverings on the beds4 ,we did not sleep much that night4 ,the fatigue and excitement which we had gone through the day before would have been sufficient to keep us awake2 but even had we felt disposed to sleep1 ,i do not think we should have been able to do so1 for the noises in the city1 during the night1 were so many and so varied1 that it seemed to us that1 under any circumstances1 sleep would be very difficult to obtain4 ,our landlady had told us that she hoped we should not be alarmed at any sound we might hear in the night1 for a wedding was going on in a house close by1 and the festivities would be kept up until the morning4 ,accordingly1 for many hours we were kept awake by the noise of music and singing1 by the beating of little drums1 and by the shouts and laughter of the wedding party4 ,but as morning dawned the wedding guests grew quieter1 and we hoped to be able to sleep4 ,now1 however1 we were disturbed by the howling and barking of the street dogs1 which at times was quite deafening4 ,these dogs have no owners1 but act as the scavengers of the city1 eating anything they can find amongst the refuse and dirt of the streets4 ,each dog has his appointed place in the city1 and there seems to be a code of honour amongst them1 that no dog is to go into any other quarter of the city except that in which he was born and bred1 and in which he ordinarily gets his livelihood4 ,immediately a strange dog from another part of ,jerusalem makes his appearance he is driven away by the united efforts of all the dogs in the street which he has invaded1 with enough noise to awaken the whole city4 ,poor ,evelyn tossed about very wearily through the night1 and ,i was really afraid that she would be ill again4 ,but her merry spirits seemed to keep her up1 for she found amusement in all our little discomforts1 and made me laugh in spite of myself many times during that long1 tiring night4 ,at length a lull came in the barking of the dogs2 but now several bells began to ring in the ,greek and ,latin convents of the city1 and then we heard the shouts of muleteers and camel-drivers1 and the tinkling of the mule-bells1 as different parties of people set off in the cool of the morning for ,joppa1 or some of the distant villages4 ,we got up at eight o'clock tired and unrefreshed4 ,sir ,william had slept much better1 and was in good spirits1 and very anxious to go out and explore ,jerusalem4 ,we needed no dragoman to take us to the various places of interest1 for ,mr4 ,stanley1 who knew his way about the city as well as any of the inhabitants did1 was very kind1 and anxious to help us4 ,i fancied that it was something more than ordinary kindness which made him always so willing to make one of our party4 ,i could not help thinking that he was attracted by my dear ,evelyn's sweet face and winning ways4 ,who could help loving her8 ,i said to myself1 as ,i thought the matter over a hundred times during our first day in ,jerusalem4 ,i noticed1 ,i could not help noticing1 how diligently he kept near us1 and how pleased he seemed that ,sir ,william thankfully accepted his offer to be our guide whilst we stayed in the ,holy ,city4 ,i shall never forget my first walk through the streets of ,jerusalem4 ,we grew so familiar1 in a few weeks' time1 with all the ,eastern sights and sounds that we scarcely noticed them1 but that morning everything was strange and fresh and full of interest4 ,we went first across an open square in front of the ,tower of ,david1 where a vegetable market was being held2 and chickens and eggs1 oranges and lemons1 were being exhibited for sale by the women from the villages round ,jerusalem1 and were being bargained for and bought by the townspeople4 ,mr4 ,stanley called our attention to the enormous cauliflowers1 so large that one of them was sufficient to form the load of a small donkey1 and so heavy that neither ,evelyn nor ,i could lift them from the ground4 ,we were curious to know how large the pans were in which they were boiled1 but ,mr4 ,stanley told us they are always cut in pieces before boiling1 and that one cauliflower is sufficient to feed a family for a whole day4 ,there was so much noise and confusion in this market-place that it was difficult to keep up conversation4 ,no business transaction is done in ,jerusalem without a dispute1 so fierce that1 if it occurred in ,england1 we should expect it to end in blows4 ,the salesman asks three times as much for his goods as he expects to receive2 and the buyer offers a third of what he knows he will eventually have to give2 and then they begin to dispute1 and wrangle1 and scream1 and shout1 and swear1 and stamp their feet1 and shake their fists1 as if the affairs of a whole nation depended upon it4 ,we saw one such business transaction going on in a street through which we passed4 ,illustration3 ,,in ,,jerusalem4 ,what is the matter here8 said ,sir ,william1 as he tried to make his way through an angry1 excited crowd1 who were screaming and gesticulating in the most alarming manner1 as they clustered round a camel and a camel driver4 ,oh1 nothing at all6 said ,mr4 ,stanley1 laughing1 as he listened to what they were saying4 ,that man in the centre of the crowd is buying a load of charcoal1 and he and the owner of the charcoal are disputing about a piastre1 more or less1 which in ,english money is about equal to twopence4 ,but who are all these other people8 said ,sir ,william4 ,they cannot all have an interest in this one load of charcoal4 ,oh no1 said ,mr4 ,stanley2 but they happened to be passing at the time1 and they have stopped to give their opinion1 some taking the part of the buyer and some of the seller1 and all of them adding to the general confusion by shouting and swearing and yelling at the highest pitch of their voices4 ,we were glad to get out of the noisy crowd1 and to descend a flight of steps in the narrow street4 ,do you mind coming in here for a minute8 said ,mr4 ,stanley1 as he stopped before a clean-looking building1 and opened a small door in the wall4 ,we followed him into a large room1 and there we saw a very interesting sight4 ,all round the room were ,jewesses1 in their picturesque dresses1 sitting on mats on the floor4 ,they were busily engaged with various kinds of needlework2 and an ,english lady was going about amongst them1 superintending their work1 and teaching them anything which they did not know4 ,we were much interested in all she told us of these poor women--they are learning by degrees to make their wretched homes bright and comfortable1 and to make garments for their husbands and children4 ,above all1 they are learning to love the ,word of ,god1 which is read aloud to them as they work1 and which is quite a new book to them1 for these poor ,jerusalem ,jewesses know as little of their ,old ,testament ,scriptures as they do of the ,new ,testament4 ,we gave them several orders for various kinds of lace1 which they make most beautifully2 and ,sir ,william left a donation towards their savings bank1 which is doing much good amongst these poor mothers1 encouraging them to lay by part of the money which they earn1 as a fund from which they can draw in times of sickness or distress4 ,then we passed from that room into another part of the building1 which is used as a girls' school for ,jewish children2 and it was indeed pleasant to see their bright happy faces1 and to hear their intelligent answers to the questions put to them4 ,mr4 ,stanley told us afterwards that there is a good work being done in this mission school--for the children are carefully and prayerfully taught1 and1 as the mothers of the next generation1 will undoubtedly pave the way for missionary effort among their nation4 ,the lady who manages the school very kindly took us to see all the different classes1 and we were especially interested in a large class of little ,spanish ,jewesses1 natives of ,jerusalem1 who are being taught in their own language1 and who are learning1 little by little and step by step1 to know and to love that ,saviour whom their nation have rejected4 ,we left the school1 hoping to visit it again another day1 and were turning round a corner1 when ,mr4 ,stanley stopped us1 and showed us some curious old stones in the wall of the street4 ,the stones evidently formed part of an old archway2 and ,mr4 ,stanley told us that it was now thought to be the most ancient place in all ,jerusalem1 being supposed1 by those who have studied the matter1 to have been part of the old city of ,jebus1 where the ,jebusites lived before ,david conquered them1 and turned their old fortress of ,jebus into ,jerusalem1 the ,city of ,david4 ,as we turned into the large bazaar in one of the principal streets in ,jerusalem we had great difficulty in getting on1 so narrow was the street1 and so crowded with camels1 donkeys1 mules1 and people standing before each of the curious little shops1 bargaining with the shopman inside4 ,we were making our way slowly down the street1 when ,i heard a well-known voice behind us1 saying3 ,miss ,trafford6 ,this is a surprise6 ,evelyn and ,i turned round1 and ,i said involuntarily3 ,claude6 ,where have you come from8 ,he told us that he and ,alice had been spending a month in ,cairo1 and had now come to see ,palestine4 ,but there does not seem to be much to see here1 he said2 it is a wretched place after ,cairo6 ,how long have you been here1 may ,i ask8 said ,mr4 ,stanley4 ,just two days now1 said ,claude2 we think of moving on again to-morrow4 ,then you will excuse my saying that you have not begun to see ,jerusalem yet1 said ,mr4 ,stanley1 with the least possible touch of sarcasm in his voice4 ,oh1 ,i don't know6 said ,claude4 ,it seems a stupid place4 ,i can't think why so many people come here4 ,but won't you come and see ,alice8 he said1 turning to ,evelyn4 ,she will be delighted to see you4 ,by the by1 ,i met a friend of yours in ,cairo1 ,miss ,trafford1 said ,claude1 as we walked in the direction of the ,damascus ,gate1 near which their tents were pitched4 ,a friend of mine6 said ,evelyn1 colouring4 ,whom do you mean8 ,she thought1 and ,i thought too1 that he must have met ,donald ,trafford2 and ,evelyn was considerably relieved by his answer4 ,it was ,lord ,moreton2 he was there with a party of his friends1 staying in the same hotel that we were4 ,they were going up the ,nile4 ,he told me that you were travelling in the ,east1 but the ,east is a wide term1 and ,i did not expect that we should meet4 ,but why do you call ,lord ,moreton a friend of mine8 said ,evelyn1 laughing1 though her father looked at her reprovingly4 ,i beg your pardon1 ,miss ,trafford1 said ,claude2 ,i thought he was a great friend of yours4 ,i assure you1 he talked so much of you and ,sir ,william in the short time that we were together1 that ,i thought-- ,but ,claude did not tell us what he thought1 for we had to separate at that moment to let a string of laden camels pass by1 and the conversation took another turn when we were able to walk together again4 ,claude and his wife were travelling with a small party under the escort of a dragoman1 and their tents were pitched in the olive grove just outside the northern gate of the city4 ,alice was very glad to see us1 and she1 ,evelyn1 and ,i had a long talk together as we sat in patriarchal fashion at our tent door1 whilst the gentlemen paced about amongst the olive trees1 talking to the dragoman1 and referring to their guidebooks4 ,is it not strange to be in ,jerusalem1 ,alice8 said ,evelyn4 ,i feel as if ,i were dreaming4 ,oh1 ,i don't know1 said ,alice1 laughing4 ,i have not been much impressed by it4 ,you see1 we have become quite accustomed now to ,eastern manners and customs--we saw plenty of them in ,cairo2 and as for the old ruins and buildings here1 they are not nearly so ancient as the ,pyramids4 ,and there is really very little to be seen1 after all1 except by those people who believe the lies that are told them about the holy sepulchre1 and the tomb of the ,virgin1 and the manger at ,bethlehem4 ,why actually1 in one street1 in quite a new wall1 our dragoman pointed out to us a stone which is believed to be the stone that 'would have cried out' if the children had held their peace6 ,such nonsense6 ,i have no patience with it6 said ,alice1 scornfully4 ,oh yes1 said ,evelyn1 ,i quite agree with you about all those absurd tales4 ,i would not walk a hundred yards to see one of those wonderful shrines2 but1 after all1 this is ,jerusalem1 and it was here1 she added in a lower voice1 that our ,lord walked1 and preached1 and died1 and was buried1 and rose again6 ,oh yes1 of course1 said ,alice1 carelessly1 as if that fact was but of small importance to her4 ,and if we really love ,him1 said ,evelyn1 if ,he is dearer to us than any one else1 don't you think we must look upon ,jerusalem1 and those places ,he lived in1 with a very strange and wonderful feeling8 ,alice looked at ,evelyn in astonishment2 she had never heard her speak in that way before1 and had no idea how much ,evelyn was changed since she had seen her last4 ,she made no answer1 and ,i think would have turned the conversation to some other subject if ,evelyn had not spoken first4 ,you look surprised1 ,alice1 she said2 you did not expect me to say that1 did you8 ,no1 indeed1 said ,alice1 laughing2 ,i thought that both you and ,i were quite free from all sentimental nonsense4 ,i am afraid ,miss ,lindsay has been talking you over to her way of thinking4 ,is it nonsense8 said ,evelyn1 gravely1 passing over ,alice's last words4 ,because if it is not nonsense1 surely it is a great reality6 ,oh1 ,i don't know1 said ,alice1 lightly2 ,claude says the greater part of religion is nonsense1 and ,i suppose he ought to know2 he has studied the matter1 and ,i have not4 ,oh1 ,alice1 said ,evelyn1 with tears in her eyes1 if you only knew how very1 very happy ,i have been lately6 ,i never knew before that it was possible to be as happy as ,i am now6 ,that may be1 said ,alice1 and ,i am not happy4 ,sometimes ,i am miserable1 she said1 bitterly1 with that grave1 sad expression that ,i had seen on her face once before2 but still ,i cannot help agreeing with ,claude1 that it is better not to be comforted at all1 than to get comfort out of a lie4 ,oh yes1 ,i said1 ,mr4 ,ellis is quite right in that2 but the whole question turns on this3 ,is the ,bible ,satan's lie1 or ,god's truth8 ,it must surely be either the one or the other4 ,well1 said ,alice1 lightly1 it is too hot to enter into a theological discussion4 ,i will call the dragoman and get him to send us some lemonade3 our cook makes it splendidly4 ,poor ,alice6 said ,evelyn1 when we were left alone in the tent4 ,yes1 ,i said1 she is very much to be pitied1 for she is not comfortable in her unbelief2 she has doubts even about her own doubting4 ,alice came back to tell us that the gentlemen had planned a ride to the ,mount of ,olives1 and the dragoman had gone to hire horses for the whole party1 so that we might start together from the ,damascus ,gate as soon as it began to be a little cooler4 ,meanwhile ,mr4 ,stanley guided us to our hotel4 ,we went back a different way1 keeping outside the city1 till we reached the ,jaffa ,gate4 ,sir ,william and ,i walked first1 and ,mr4 ,stanley and ,evelyn followed2 but as ,sir ,william was reading his guidebook1 which he kept open in his hand and consulted as he walked along1 ,i had much time for thought1 and once or twice ,i could not help overhearing the conversation which was going on behind me4 ,so you know ,lord ,moreton1 ,miss ,trafford8 ,i heard ,mr4 ,stanley say4 ,yes2 papa knows him very well1 and he likes him very much1 said ,evelyn1 laughing4 ,and you do not8 said ,mr4 ,stanley1 gravely4 ,oh1 ,i don't dislike him1 said ,evelyn2 only ,i think him very stupid and uninteresting4 ,i thought ,sir ,william must have heard this remark2 but if he heard it he took no notice of it1 but appeared to be deep in his book4 ,lord ,moreton stupid6 ,lord ,moreton uninteresting6 repeated ,mr4 ,stanley4 ,then excuse my saying1 ,miss ,trafford1 that if that is your opinion1 ,i am sure you do not know ,lord ,moreton3 no one who really knew him would ever come to such a conclusion4 ,mr4 ,stanley had spoken rather warmly1 and ,evelyn said in an apologetic tone3 ,i am very sorry1 ,mr4 ,stanley4 ,i see ,lord ,moreton is a friend of yours2 ,i did not know you knew him at all4 ,yes1 he said1 smiling1 we were college friends1 and have been like brothers ever since4 ,i think ,i may say that ,i know ,lord ,moreton better than any one else knows him1 and the more ,i know him1 so much the more ,i respect him and love him4 ,he always seems to me to be so shy and awkward1 said ,evelyn4 ,yes1 so he is with strangers1 said ,mr4 ,stanley2 he is a highly nervous man2 it is his infirmity1 and he knows it2 but if he can only shake off his nervousness1 he is quite another man4 ,i wish you could have heard him address a meeting of undergraduates the other day1 you would not have believed it was the same man4 ,addressing them6 ,on what subject8 asked ,evelyn1 now more astonished than ever4 ,oh1 about personal religion4 ,lord ,moreton has a wonderful power with young men4 ,he is not at all nervous when speaking to them4 ,it is you ladies that make him so shy1 said ,mr4 ,stanley1 laughing2 you are such formidable beings6 ,well1 ,i am surprised6 said ,evelyn4 ,i could not have believed it1 if you had not told me4 ,and he is a real ,christian8 ,i am very glad to hear it4 ,yes1 said ,mr4 ,stanley1 he is a man who lives very near to his ,god2 and his one desire and aim is to bring all under his influence to the ,saviour4 ,indeed1 he added1 in a lower voice1 if it had not been for ,lord ,moreton1 ,miss ,trafford1 ,i should have been to this day a man of the world2 it was his words and his example which first made me decide for ,christ4 ,i could hear no more1 for we had reached the ,jaffa ,gate1 and had passed into the noisy square in front of the ,tower of ,david4 ,whether ,sir ,william had overheard the conversation ,i did not know4 ,he looked very pleased and half amused as it was going on2 but perhaps he may have been reading some interesting anecdote in his guidebook4 ,mr4 ,stanley left us at the ,tower of ,david1 and we went to the hotel to rest until the evening4 ,illustration ,illustration ,,chapter ,,xv4 ,,my ,,olive-,,leaves4 ,illustration ,,it was still very hot when we started from the ,damascus ,gate and rode in the direction of the ,mount of ,olives4 ,what a wretched little hillock it is6 said ,claude1 as we drew near to it4 ,it does not deserve the name of hill1 much less of mountain4 ,but to most of us1 this wretched little hillock was the most sacred spot on earth4 ,there was no doubt about its identity2 the mountain on the east side of the city could not be mistaken for any other4 ,no vain superstition1 no improbable legend had fixed upon this hill as the place where our ,lord's feet had so often trod4 ,the hand of time1 and the cruel devastations of war1 which had laid low the beautiful ,temple1 and made ,jerusalem a heap of ruins1 had not been able to obliterate this spot1 nor to make us doubtful as to whether it were indeed the same ,mount of ,olives of which we had read so often in the ,gospels4 ,we crossed the ,valley of ,jehoshaphat1 passed the wall of the so-called ,gethsemane1 and began to ascend one of the steep stony paths which led across the mountain to ,bethany4 ,do you know1 ,miss ,lindsay1 said ,mr4 ,stanley1 that these paths1 on the hillsides1 are probably less changed than anything in the whole country8 ,they must have gone in the same direction years ago1 and this is1 without doubt1 the very road our ,lord's feet so often trod to and from the city on ,his way to ,martha's house4 ,i felt as if it were almost too sacred ground4 ,i did not answer him1 for ,i could not have done so without tears4 ,so we rode on in silence1 a little way behind the others1 and ,evelyn told me afterwards she would have been very thankful to have been with us1 for ,claude and ,alice were laughing and talking the whole way1 telling amusing stories of things and people in ,england1 and taking little or no notice of the scenes and places around them4 ,the ,mount of ,olives was nothing to them6 ,mr4 ,stanley rode forward as we came to a turn in the road on the shoulder of the hill1 and made them all stop and look round at the city3 for it is at this place that1 when coming from ,bethany1 ,jerusalem first comes in sight1 and there1 he said1 must have been the very spot on which our ,lord stood when ,he beheld the city and wept over it4 ,evelyn came close to me and whispered1 ,oh1 ,may1 ,i cannot help it1 the tears will come2 let us go a little way off by ourselves2 ,claude and ,alice will chatter so4 ,we got off our horses1 and left them with the dragoman1 and went a short distance from the road to a clump of olive trees2 and here we stood1 looking down upon the city4 ,if our ,lord wept as ,he gazed on it in its glory1 because ,he saw1 in the far distance1 the shadow of ruin and desolation creeping towards it1 how much more should we weep1 who saw the once beloved city1 the joy of the whole earth1 made a very curse amongst men6 ,look forward as well as backward1 said ,mr4 ,stanley's voice behind us4 ,forward to what8 ,evelyn asked4 ,forward to that day when the ,lord will no longer weep over ,jerusalem1 but will rejoice over her4 ,do you remember that passage in ,isaiah lxv43 ',be ye glad and rejoice for ever in that which ,i create3 for1 behold1 ,i create ,jerusalem a rejoicing1 and her people a joy4 ,and ,i will rejoice in ,jerusalem1 and joy in ,my people3 and the voice of weeping shall be no more heard in her1 nor the voice of crying4' ,you see the ,lord will rejoice in ,jerusalem ,himself1 and call upon us to rejoice with ,him2 and surely those who have been one with ,him in ,his sorrow will be the ones whom ,he will call to rejoice with ,him in ,his joy4 ,doesn't it remind you of the shepherd's joy1 ,i said1 as he brought back his lost sheep1 rejoicing himself1 and calling together his friends1 saying to them1-- ',rejoice with me1 for ,i have found my sheep which was lost'8 ,yes1 indeed1 said ,mr4 ,stanley2 ,i never thought of that2 the two passages are wonderfully alike4 ,oh1 ,mr4 ,stanley1 said ,evelyn1 as he turned round1 must we go8 ,it is so delightful to be here4 ,i think we must come again another day1 by ourselves1 said ,mr4 ,stanley1 in a whisper1 your friends are rather impatient to be moving2 they find very little to interest them on the ,mount of ,olives4 ,i am not surprised1 said ,evelyn2 half the ,bible they do not believe in1 and the other half they do not care for2 but1 oh dear1 ,i do wish they had not come with us2 ,i did not think we should feel it so much4 ,evelyn went on1 reluctantly1 to join her father4 ,mr4 ,stanley stayed behind a moment1 and gathered a spray of olive-leaves1 which he gave to me1 and asked me to keep it1 as a remembrance of the place1 and of our coming here together4 ,i have that spray of olive-leaves now1 and shall keep it as long as ,i live4 ,so we went on to ,bethany4 ,the road must have taken the same course in our ,lord's time1 for there is a deep valley1 and the road runs at its head4 ,and it must have looked just the same then1 with the same wild flowers growing by the wayside1 the same blue mountains of ,moab in front1 and the same green valley beneath4 ,mr4 ,stanley pointed out to me some fig trees1 growing close to the road1 just as they did when the ,saviour1 hungry with ,his long walk from ,bethany1 searched amongst the loaves for fruit to refresh him on the way4 ,i had had no idea before that it was so far from ,jerusalem to ,bethany2 ,he must have been very weary as ,he went backwards and forwards every day of that last1 sad week of ,his life on earth4 ,only once do we read of ,him riding2 it was all on foot1 in the weariness and heat of the day1 with the same sun beating on ,his head as was shining on us at that very moment4 ,and then1 as ,i rode at ,mr4 ,stanley's side1 he reminded me of that last walk1 when ,jesus led ,his disciples out as far as to ,bethany1 and we wondered if1 as they trod this road1 they knew that ,he was so soon to leave them1 and that it was the last walk that they would take with ,him4 ,if so1 surely they must have been very sorrowful1 surely their hearts must have been so full of the parting with ,him that they must have lost sight1 for a little time1 of the blessing that parting was to bring to them1 and the realisation of which was so soon to make them return1 by that very road1 to ,jerusalem1 with great joy1 praising and blessing ,god4 ,i never enjoyed anything so much as that ride to ,bethany2 it was very quiet and peaceful1 for ,sir ,william and ,claude were some way in front with the dragoman1 and ,evelyn1 who rode next with ,alice1 was not much inclined for conversation1 and kept her laughing companion tolerably still1 so that we were not interrupted in our quiet talk together4 ,then we came to ,bethany1 a miserable1 wretched1 dirty village1 and here a troop of squalid ,arabs came out of their houses to look at us1 and to beg of us1 and a number of noisy dogs barked1 and howled1 and jumped up at our horses' heads1 and we were very glad to get as quickly as possible out of the narrow1 filthy street1 and gradually to ascend the eastern side of the ,mount of ,olives4 ,i think the ,ascension must have taken place somewhere here1 said ,mr4 ,stanley2 it would be just far enough away from the noise of the village1 and such a likely place for them to come to4 ,a lovely view was spread out before us2 the village of ,bethany lay at our feet1 and then there stretched far away the great wilderness of ,judea1 and1 beyond it1 in the far distance1 the fertile plain of the ,jordan1 like a line of silver running into the deep blue ,dead ,sea4 ,then the view was shut in by the grand ,moab mountains1 standing out like a wall against the sky4 ,this is very fine6 said ,claude1 as we stood looking at it4 ,this is well worth coming to see6 ,it was the same view that ,lot had gazed on2 yet where were the cities of the plain which he had seen in their glory8 ,then we crossed over the top of the mountain1 and began to descend the western side1 by the very path which ,david took when fleeing from ,absalom1 when we read1 he climbed up the ascent barefoot1 and with his head covered1 weeping1 as he went1 at the ingratitude and cruelty of his son4 ,we had a different view now1 and yet a very beautiful one4 ,the city of ,jerusalem was lying at our feet1 nestling amongst the hills4 ',as the mountains are round about ,jerusalem1 so the ,lord is round about ,his people from henceforth even for ever1' said ,mr4 ,stanley to ,evelyn and to me1 as he rode between us4 ,if we could only remember that1 said ,evelyn1 how happy it would make us6 ,yes1 said ,mr4 ,stanley1 it would indeed2 but is it not a comfort to know that ,he is round us1 whether we remember it or not8 ,the mountains do not remove1 even though the clouds hide them from our sight4 ,i shall never forget this ride1 said ,evelyn1 after a pause4 ,i am sure ,i shall never forget it6 said ,mr4 ,stanley4 ,but ,i thought-- said ,evelyn4 ,what did you think1 ,miss ,trafford8 ,i thought that it would not seem quite the same to you as it does to us4 ,i thought you would have become so accustomed to it that you would not enjoy it so much4 ,oh1 ,i never feel 'that' about the ,mount of ,olives1 said ,mr4 ,stanley2 other places in ,jerusalem1 ,i grant1 have somewhat lost their sacredness in my eyes1 but the ,mount of ,olives always seems holy ground4 ,i think we can never forget that this was the last place our ,lord's feet touched before ,he left us1 and that it will be the very first place they will touch when ,he comes again2 for ',his feet shall stand in that day upon the ,mount of ,olives1 which is before ,jerusalem on the east4' ,and then1 he added1 after a pause1 ,i have enjoyed it specially to-day4 ,claude and ,alice left ,jerusalem the next morning1 to continue their journey through ,samaria and ,galilee2 and we were not sorry to be alone when we visited the other deeply interesting places in and near ,jerusalem4 ,sight-seeing in ,palestine is1 in this respect1 perfectly different from sight-seeing in other places2 unless there is some communion of heart between you and those who are with you1 unless they love the ,book and the ,name which make every place around you so sacred1 their remarks1 and indeed the whole tone of their conversation1 cannot fail to jar upon you1 and to be somewhat trying and irksome to you4 ,alter they were gone1 we thoroughly enjoyed our daily excursions in the city and its neighbourhood4 ,although ,mr4 ,stanley was comparatively a stranger1 still we had learnt to know him so well in those few weeks that he seemed more like an old and tried friend6 ,he was a wonderful help to us in our exploration of the city1 for not only did he know ,jerusalem well himself1 but he had1 during his long stay there1 made many friends among the residents in the city1 who obtained for us admittance into several places which are closed to ordinary travellers4 ,one of these1 a ,german gentleman1 was most kind in guiding us to several very interesting spots1 and1 amongst others1 to ,solomon's ,quarry4 ,would you like to see ,solomon's ,quarry8 said ,mr4 ,stanley to ,sir ,william1 one day4 ,solomon's ,quarry6 repeated ,sir ,william4 ,where may that be1 pray8 ,it is underneath the city1 said ,mr4 ,stanley1 and is a most curious and interesting place4 ,my friend1 who will guide us through it1 has been very active in its exploration1 and he has made a splendid plan of the whole place2 so that he knows every inch of the way4 ,but is it really ,solomon's ,quarry8 said ,sir ,william1 incredulously4 ,probably so2 for it is evident that stone has been taken out of it for some very great building1 and then you remember what is told us of the building of ,solomon's ,temple3 ',the ,house1 when it was in building1 was built of stone made ready before it was brought thither3 so that there was neither hammer nor axe nor any tool of iron heard in the house1 while it was in building4' ,now we have only to look at the stones which still remain of the wall which ,solomon built round the ,temple platform1 to see that the stones he used were so enormous1 that they could not have been brought from any great distance4 ,in order to move them at all1 the labour must have been immense1 and it has always been a mystery how such huge blocks could be hewn from any rock within a short distance of the building1 so that they could be easily moved to it1 and yet be so far away that no sound of axe or hammer should be heard in the ,temple itself4 ,i see1 said ,sir ,william2 and the discovery of this quarry explains the mystery1 for the stones could be hewn and finished underground1 and then brought to the surface1 and put at once in their proper positions4 ,how very interesting6 ,but we have a still stronger reason1 said ,mr4 ,stanley1 for feeling sure that this is ,solomon's ,quarry1 for there is no other place1 in the whole country round1 which shows signs of having been used as a quarry1 from which stone could have been taken for any large building2 and the stone in these underground quarries is1 moreover1 the very same kind of stone as we find in the ,temple buildings4 ,how very1 very interesting6 said ,sir ,william4 ,when can we go there8 ,i have arranged with my friend to meet us at the ,damascus ,gate to-morrow morning1 if that will suit you1 he added1 turning to ,evelyn4 ,we had no engagement for the next day1 so it was settled that ,mr4 ,stanley should call for us at eleven o'clock4 ,but when the morning came1 poor ,evelyn was not well enough to go4 ,she had a slight attack of the ague fever1 which is so common in ,jerusalem1 and the doctor advised her to keep quiet for a day or two1 lest she should have it more severely4 ,i wanted to stay with her1 but she would not hear of it1 and insisted on my leaving her in ,clemence's care4 ,if you don't go1 ,may1 she said1 ,i shall never hear anything about it4 ,papa never can describe places2 now don't be unkind and disobedient1 but put on your hat and get ready4 ,so1 rather against my will1 ,i set forth with the others4 ,the gentleman who was our guide was most kind in explaining everything to us1 and in giving us most varied and interesting information4 ,how were these quarries discovered8 ,sir ,william asked4 ,in a very curious way1 he said4 ,not many years ago there was a lad shooting rock-pigeons outside the northern wall4 ,he had a dog with him1 and the dog suddenly disappeared4 ,he had seen it last going behind an olive tree which grew at the bottom of the rock on which you see the wall is built4 ,he went to look for the dog1 and found on the face of the rock quite a small hole1 so small that he could not get through it himself1 though he heard his dog barking inside4 ,so he came back into the city for help1 and then the hole was made bigger1 and they discovered this place4 ,how very curious6 said ,sir ,william4 ,here we are1 said ,mr4 ,stanley1 here is the hole2 now1 ,miss ,lindsay1 are you ready to leave the sunshine behind8 ,we had brought candles with us1 and we lighted them and began slowly to descend1 crouching for some distance almost on our hands and knees1 for there was not room to stand upright4 ,but after we had gone thus for a few yards1 we found ourselves in a large1 rock-hewn cave1 as spacious as an immense church1 and from this point1 passage after passage went in different directions4 ,our guide led the way and we followed2 hall after hall1 passage after passage1 we explored2 we went for nearly a mile underneath the streets of ,jerusalem4 ,can you picture the scene1 #c1jjj years ago1 said ,mr4 ,stanley to me1 when the place was full of ,solomon's workmen8 ,look6 ,here are the marks of their tools in the stone1 as fresh as ever4 ,and do you see this8 he said1 as he pointed to a little niche in the wall4 ,this is where the workman put his lamp whilst he was at work2 you see even the black smoke which the flame left on the stone above is still here4 ,how very wonderful6 ,i said4 ,oh1 ,mr4 ,stanley1 it is an interesting place6 ,yes1 he said1 smiling1 ,i knew you would like it1 that is why ,i wanted so much to come here2 it is one of my favourite places1 and ,i wanted you to see it4 ,it is a great comfort to me1 oftentimes1 this deserted quarry4 ,how can it be a comfort to you8 ,i asked4 ,it is such a wonderful picture1 he said4 ,a picture of what8 ,is not there a temple being built now8 he said1 gently4 ,a far grander and more beautiful one than ,solomon's--the temple in the ,heavenly ,jerusalem2 you see now8 ,yes1 ,i answered1 ,i think ,i do2 but please tell me2 ,i like to hear your thoughts about it1 and why it comforts you4 ,don't you think the dark1 dismal quarry is like this world2 it is not a very bright place1 is it8 ,and you and ,i both know what trouble is4 ,how did you know that ,i did1 ,mr4 ,stanley8 ,i knew it by your face2 ,i can read faces very well1 he said1 smiling2 but though we are both in the dark quarry now1 we shall not always have to stay here--for ,god1 the ,master ,builder1 has hewn us from the rock1 cut us away from old surroundings1 and from the old nature4 ,we are no longer a part of the old rock1 but by ,god's grace have been taken out of it2 do you see8 ,you mean when we were converted8 ,yes1 and it was a hard wrench at the time1 was it not8 ,but we can be thankful for the work of the crowbar now4 ,but we are still in the quarry1 ,i said4 ,yes1 and why8 ,because the work is not done1 we are not yet fit for the ,temple--a rough stone would be a disfigurement to ,god's beautiful building--each stone must be cut1 and chipped1 and faced1 and squared after it is hewn out of the rock4 ,our bad tempers1 and habits1 and unholy thoughts must all1 by degrees1 be done away with4 ,it is a work of time and patience2 and it is not always pleasant to feel the pick and the chisel at work on us1 but it is such a comfort to know in whose ,hand the tool is1 and that ,he can make no mistakes4 ,what are the tools8 ,i asked4 ,don't you think there are different tools for different kinds of work8 he said4 ,look how many tools have been used here4 ,there is the mark of a heavy crowbar1 which has severed the block from the side of the rock4 ,and look here at this stone which has been left on the ground1 you can see the mark of the pick1 with which the block was brought a little into shape4 ,and here you can see the marks of the finer tools1 the chisels1 which were used to give the necessary finish to the stones4 ,and ,god's tools8 ,i said4 ,are just as varied1 are they not8 ,a great trouble comes--a heavy blow like the great crowbar1 and separates us from the world4 ,but1 after that1 day by day1 and hour by hour1 ,god must work upon us with ,his finer tools--small vexations1 little crosses1 little losses1 home troubles2 all these1 ,i think1 are ,god's tools1 making us ready for a place in the ,temple4 ,don't you think it is a wonderful comfort to look upon worries and cares as ,god's tools8 ,yes1 ,i said1 that is a nice thought4 ,and soon1 said ,mr4 ,stanley1 the work will be finished1 and then we shall leave the dark quarry behind for ever1 and be carried to our place in the sunshine and light of the glorious ,temple above4 ,so1 you see1 ,i was not wrong in saying that this deserted quarry was a comforting place2 you will think of it sometimes1 will you not8 ,indeed ,i shall1 ,i said4 ,and next time a trouble comes which you cannot understand1 and which seems so very hard to bear1 just say to yourself1 ',it is ,god's chisel at work upon me4' ,i had much to tell ,evelyn when ,i came back to the hotel1 and much1 very much1 to treasure up in my own heart for use in days to come4 ,mr4 ,stanley got for me a piece of stone from the walls of the quarry1 with the marks of the chisel upon it1 and ,i put it carefully away1 with my spray of olive-leaves4 ,illustration ,illustration ,,chapter ,,xvi4 ,a ,,mystery4 ,illustration ,,the next morning ,evelyn was much better4 ,the fever had passed away1 but she felt tired and exhausted1 so she decided to keep quietly in her room until lunch time1 as she was very anxious to join us in an expedition which ,mr4 ,stanley had planned for that evening4 ,we were to visit an old tomb1 which had just been discovered on the road to ,bethlehem1 and in which ,mr4 ,stanley's ,german friend1 ,mr4 ,schwarz1 took a great interest4 ,mr4 ,schwarz would not be able to guide us there himself1 as he was going away from ,jerusalem for some weeks on business2 but he very kindly promised that his daughter would show us the way to the tomb1 as ,mr4 ,stanley had never been there before4 ,evelyn was most anxious to go with us1 so we arranged to start when the day began to grow cooler1 for ,mr4 ,schwarz said that1 as it was not a long ride1 we could easily be back before sunset4 ,i was up very early that morning1 and leaving ,evelyn in bed1 ,i went downstairs to write an account of our visit to ,solomon's ,quarry in a letter to my sister ,maggie4 ,her aunts took great interest in hearing of all the places ,i was visiting1 although they still predicted that ,i should not come back alive4 ,i was busy with my letter1 sitting at a little table in the window of our sitting-room1 waiting till ,sir ,william should come downstairs for breakfast1 when the door opened and ,mr4 ,stanley came in4 ,oh1 how lovely6 ,i exclaimed1 as soon as ,i turned round4 ,he had a pretty little basket in his hand1 filled with maiden-hair ferns1 scarlet anemones1 and cyclamen4 ,oh1 how very beautiful1 ,mr4 ,stanley2 where did you get them8 ,i have been for an early walk in the ,valley of ,hinnom1 and climbing about on the hills on either side4 ,i am so glad you like them2 ,i thought you would4 ,they are very lovely6 ,i said4 ,evelyn will be charmed1 she is so fond of flowers2 ,i will put them in water1 and take them upstairs to her4 ,she is better to-day1 ,mr4 ,stanley4 ,i am glad of that1 he said2 the fever soon passes away if care is taken4 ,but ,i gathered these flowers for you--if you will have them4 ,thank you1 very much indeed1 ,i said2 ,i did not know they were for me2 it was very good of you4 ,i am so glad you like them1 he said2 ,i could see you were fond of flowers the other day on the ,mount of ,olives4 ,i must be going now2 will you tell ,sir ,william ,i will meet you at the ,jaffa ,gate1 at four o'clock8 ,there are several people ,i must see to-day about various things1 so ,i am afraid ,i must leave you all to your own devices until evening4 ,good-bye1 take care of yourself2 ,i don't want you to have fever4 ,he was half-way to the door when he turned back again4 ,there is a little piece of paper here1 in the middle of the flowers1 he said2 that is for you1 for no one else1 remember4 ,the verses are only written in pencil2 ,i don't know whether you will be able to make them out4 ,they are only about the flowers1 he added1 smiling2 you will not be angry1 will you8 ,oh no1 ,i said2 and he was gone4 ,i put the paper1 which ,i found among the ferns1 in my pocket1 for a minute afterwards ,sir ,william entered the room4 ,i gave him ,mr4 ,stanley's message1 and he admired the flowers1 and rang the bell for water that ,i might arrange them before they withered4 ,i did not tell him that they were for me4 ,after breakfast ,sir ,william asked me to read aloud to him the leading articles in a copy of the ,times which had arrived by the mail that morning1 and so it was some time before ,i could find an opportunity to look at my paper4 ,i opened it at last1 as soon as ,i was alone1 and read it more than once3 ,,the ,,flowers' ,,message4 ,we grew upon the very hills ,where ,jesus used to stand2 ,we blossomed on the lonely paths ,of ,god's once ,holy ,land4 ,there is a city near our home-- ,a sad and ruined place-- ,for those who lived within her walls ,let slip the day of grace6 ,yet beautiful in all the earth ,mount ,zion used to be-- ,the city of the ,heavenly ,king1 ,and ,israel's glory she6 ,now1 filled with misery and sin1 ,defiled by guilt and shame1 ,and trampled under foot by those ,of every creed and name4 ,oh pray1 then1 for ,jerusalem1 ,the city of our birth2 ,oh shed a tear for her who was ,the joy of all the earth4 ,the ancient promise holdeth good1 ,it hath not been reversed-- ,blessed is he who blesseth thee1 ,and he who hates is cursed4 ,so we from the ,judean hills1 ,this simple message bring-- ,oh pray for poor ,jerusalem1 ,the city of the ,king4 ,for ,m4 ,l41 from her friend ,,howard ,,stanley4 ,i looked forward very much to that evening ride1 and four o'clock seemed as if it would never come4 ,at last the horses arrived1 and ,sir ,william1 ,evelyn1 and ,i mounted and rode to the ,jaffa ,gate4 ,mr4 ,stanley had not come1 but ,miss ,schwarz was there waiting for us4 ,we had been introduced to her the day before1 so she came at once and spoke to us1 and we rode up and down together1 looking from time to time at the gate to see if ,mr4 ,stanley were coming4 ,it is very extraordinary1 said ,sir ,william1 that he should be late6 ,we have always found him such a very punctual man4 ,are you sure he said four o'clock1 ,miss ,lindsay8 ,oh yes1 ,i said1 quite sure4 ',four o'clock at the ,jaffa ,gate1' that was what he said4 ,yes1 he told me to be here at four o'clock1 said ,miss ,schwarz2 he will come in a few minutes1 ,i should think2 shall we ride towards 'the big tree1' as we always call it8 ,it is not really a very large tree2 but you see we have no trees that deserve the name in ,jerusalem1 so it looks very big to us4 ,it is only a little way1 and ,mr4 ,stanley will see us there1 and we shall get some shade4 ,very well1 said ,sir ,william2 you had better go there2 ,i want you to keep out of the sun as much as possible1 ,evelyn1 and ,i will wait at this corner and catch ,mr4 ,stanley as he comes through the gate4 ,so we rode down to the big tree1 and ,miss ,schwarz told us how she used to come and play there with her little friends when she was a child1 and how beautiful and green she thought it till she had been to ,germany1 and had seen the trees in ,europe4 ,we found ,miss ,schwarz a very pleasant companion1 and the first few minutes passed away quite happily2 but1 as time went on1 we began to wonder very much why ,mr4 ,stanley did not appear4 ,after about half an hour ,sir ,william came slowly down the road to meet us4 ,i cannot see him1 he said2 it is very strange6 ,he must have forgotten it6 ,i think ,i will go as far as the ,latin ,convent1 and inquire for him4 ,i do not think he would forget it1 ,i said4 ,oh1 ,i don't know1 said ,sir ,william1 young men often have short memories1 and you said he was going to visit various friends this morning4 ,i will just go and inquire for him4 ,will you ride up and down till ,i come back8 ,i shall not be long4 ,it was1 however1 some time before ,sir ,william reappeared at the ,jaffa ,gate1 and then he was alone2 ,mr4 ,stanley was not with him4 ,well1 papa1 said4 ,evelyn1 did you find our runaway dragoman8 ,sir ,william looked grave and perplexed4 ,my heart beat very fast1 for ,i felt sure that something was the matter4 ,i can't make it out1 he said2 he has gone to ,jaffa6 ,gone to ,jaffa6 we all exclaimed together4 ,yes1 he said1 the porter tells me1 he took a horse early this morning2 it must have been soon after you saw him1 ,miss ,lindsay1 about ten o'clock the man said1 and he went down to ,jaffa4 ,the porter thinks he was going back to ,england4 ,i can't understand it2 it is very strange6 ,what can be the matter8 ,evelyn said4 ,i cannot imagine1 said ,sir ,william2 ,i think he might have let us know4 ,the porter said he did not even take his luggage1 but left it to be sent after him by the next steamer4 ,it seems there is a steamer that leaves ,jaffa for ,alexandria to-night1 and ,i suppose he wanted to catch that4 ,did not the man know why he left in such a hurry8 ,evelyn asked4 ,no1 he did not seem to know4 ,i asked him if a telegram had arrived for ,mr4 ,stanley1 and he said he did not think so1 he had not taken one in2 but the man talked such extraordinary ,french that ,i could not understand him very well4 ,i wonder ,stanley did not let us know he was going2 it was very thoughtless of him4 ,perhaps he will write from ,jaffa1 ,evelyn suggested4 ,well1 ,i hope so1 said ,sir ,william2 but ,i think he might have let us known before this afternoon1 and not have kept us waiting here in the sun4 ,i gave him credit for more thoughtfulness4 ,it is a very strange thing2 ,i do not like it at all4 ,well1 what are we to do8 ,miss ,schwarz1 we ought not to keep you standing here2 will it be too late to go to the tomb8 ,oh no1 she said1 not at all2 it is quite a short ride1 we shall be back long before sunset4 ,shall we go at once8 ,yes1 ,i think1 perhaps1 we had better go1 said ,sir ,william1 with some hesitation4 ,you can talk ,arabic1 ,i suppose1 ,miss ,schwarz1 in case we need an interpreter8 ,oh yes1 she said1 laughing1 as well as an ,arab4 ,i could talk ,arabic before ,i could talk ,german4 ,so we set off for the tomb4 ,but we were none of us in very good spirits4 ,sir ,william was complaining all the way of ,mr4 ,stanley's bad behaviour to us1 and ,evelyn was defending him to the best of her power1 and assuring her father that there was certain to be a letter from ,jaffa4 ,i am afraid that ,miss ,schwarz must have thought us very dull and uninteresting people4 ,she was an exceedingly nice girl1 just my own age1 and1 at any other time1 ,i should so much have enjoyed my ride with her4 ,but that afternoon ,i could not tell what was the matter with me1 but it was an effort to talk4 ,i roused myself1 once or twice1 to take an interest in the places and the people that we were passing on the green ,bethlehem plain2 but ,i found it very difficult1 my thoughts seemed to be far away4 ,i was ashamed of myself1 and struggled against it1 and asked ,miss ,schwarz many questions about the place to which we were going1 and she took great pains to explain everything to us1 and to make our ride pleasant and interesting to us4 ,i hope she did not think us ungrateful4 ,we went for some distance along the road to ,bethlehem1 and then we turned up amongst the mountains4 ,it was a very wild1 rough road1 indeed after a time we had no road at all1 but had to cross over ploughed fields and the shingle-covered hillsides4 ,the view was splendid2 a valley was beneath us1 quite surrounded by hills1 on the sides of which we could see the remains of many of the ancient terraces4 ,it must1 indeed1 have been a lovely place when it was planted with trees2 but the bare1 sandy heights were very tiring to the eye1 and had it not been for a few patches of green1 and the scarlet anemones and yellow ,bethlehem stars which were peeping up between the stones1 the hillsides would have been very uninteresting and monotonous4 ,in the distance we could see the blue waters of the ,dead ,sea1 and the white limestone mountains of ,quarantania4 ,at last we reached a place where there were many ruins1 the remains of an ancient village2 there were several old wells1 and stones with crosses carved upon them1 which showed that they dated back to the times of the ,crusaders4 ,we passed through these ruins1 and ,miss ,schwarz took us to the side of the hill1 where the newly-discovered tomb was to be found4 ,it seems that the ,arabs1 living in a village near1 were ploughing on the hillside1 and one of them moved a large stone out of the way of his plough4 ,to his astonishment he saw that the stone had covered a deep1 dark hole2 he went down into this hole and found himself in a stone chamber1 the masonry of which was quite perfect4 ,another entrance had been afterwards made into the tomb1 and through this ,miss ,schwarz led us4 ,she told us that her father thinks it was a burying-place for ,christians in the fifth or sixth century1 so it is not very old compared with most of the places in ,jerusalem1 but it is most curious and interesting4 ,there are five stone steps leading down to the door of the tomb1 and the door itself is made of one block of stone1 and is still on its hinges1 and moves backwards and forwards most easily4 ,all round the chamber were places cut out of the stone for the coffins to lie in--there were twelve of these in the principal room1 but two other smaller chambers1 leading out of the first one1 contained more graves2 these1 however1 had not been fully opened out when we were there4 ,a large stone was at the mouth of each grave when it was discovered1 and the ,arabs had torn these away with the greatest haste1 hoping to find some treasure buried with the dead4 ,but though they opened every grave1 they found inside nothing but dust4 ,we were just peeping into one of the further chambers1 and trying to count the number of graves in it1 when we heard a great noise outside--shouting1 and yelling1 and jabbering1 and1 to our great alarm and dismay1 a number of ,arabs rushed into the tomb1 shaking their fists at us1 and screaming at the top of their voices4 ,sir ,william was very much agitated and frightened1 for it was a wild and lonely place1 far out of the reach of any ,european building or any public road4 ,we scrambled out as quickly as we could1 followed closely by the ,arabs4 ,miss ,schwarz was haranguing them in ,arabic1 but as we could not understand either what they were saying to her or she was saying to them1 we were very much alarmed indeed1 and felt sure that they intended to rob us1 or even to murder us4 ,when we came out of the tomb we were still more terrified1 for we saw that some of the ,arabs had seized our horses1 which we had tied to a tree near1 and were preparing to lead them away4 ,oh dear1 ,i wish we had never come6 said ,sir ,william4 ,what shall we do8 ,if ,i could only talk to these fellows6 ,don't be frightened1 ,evelyn darling4 ,what do they want1 ,miss ,schwarz8 ,what do you think had better be done8 ,i think they only want money1 she said1 turning away from the ,arabs1 who were shaking their fists at her most fiercely4 ,i will see what can be done4 ,they say we have insulted the sheik of the village by entering the tomb without leave1 and of course they threaten all sorts of dreadful things4 ,but ,i will manage them2 don't be alarmed6 ,have you any money with you1 ,sir ,william8 ,yes1 a little1 he said1 not very much4 ,how much will they want8 ,oh1 they shall not have very much1 she said4 ,have you a mejedie8 ,it is a large ,turkish coin--larger than half a crown2 it is worth about three and sixpence4 ,yes1 ,i think ,i have1 he said2 ,i will look4 ,no1 not now1 please1 she said2 wait a minute or two4 ,so she had another long conversation with the ,arabs1 and then1 to our astonishment1 they brought up our horses1 and helped us to mount in the most gallant manner4 ,then1 when we were quite ready to start1 ,miss ,schwarz turned to ,sir ,william4 ,they may have the mejedie now1 she said2 if you will give it to me1 ,i will hand it to the sheik1 and he will divide it amongst them4 ,for they were all holding out their hands greedily to ,sir ,william to receive the coin4 ,now it is all right1 she said2 let us ride on quickly4 ,you are a splendid dragoman1 ,miss ,schwarz6 said ,sir ,william4 ,how did you manage them so well8 ,oh1 ,i threatened them with the ,english consul1 and the ,german consul1 and with the ,pacha1 and with all sorts of other authorities1 she said1 laughing4 ,i knew they would not dare to hurt us2 they would never hear the last of it if they did4 ,and1 besides1 the sheik knows my father well1 and as soon as ,i mentioned his name they became very civil4 ,i hope you did not mind giving them the mejedie1 ,sir ,william2 but ,i promised them a little reward if they were good4 ,oh1 not at all1 he said1 laughing2 it was a cheap way of getting off6 ,they would not get much each1 poor fellows6 ,oh1 quite plenty1 said ,miss ,schwarz2 if they had been more civil we might have given them a little more4 ,i hope you were not very much frightened1 ,miss ,trafford4 ,oh1 only a little1 said ,evelyn2 but she looked pale and tired1 and we were all very glad to get safely back to the hotel4 ,evelyn lay on the sofa in the sitting-room all the evening1 and ,i sat beside her1 whilst ,sir ,william went into the coffee-room and discussed the adventures of the day with a party of ,english travellers who had arrived that evening from ,jaffa4 ,my beautiful ferns and flowers looked withered after the heat of the day1 so ,i gave them fresh water1 and pressed one or two of the prettiest in blotting-paper4 ,then ,i sat down beside ,evelyn1 with my work in my hand1 but ,i did not feel inclined to sew4 ,i felt very dull and depressed1 and ,evelyn seemed so likewise4 ,i said to myself that it was only the reaction after the excitement and fright we had experienced that afternoon1 and yet ,i felt that1 after all1 that was not the real reason4 ,was it because--could it be because--,mr4 ,stanley had gone away8 ,for1 after all1 he was only a stranger2 a pleasant--yes1 a very pleasant--travelling companion1 who had been very kind and useful to us when we were in his company1 but who would think no more of us now that he had gone away4 ,like ships meeting on the sea1 we had gone side by side for a little time1 but now we had parted--probably near to meet again4 ,that was all2 it was nothing to be dull or miserable about4 ,and ,i was quite angry with myself for having given way to the feeling of depression which had crept over me4 ,i tried to think of my work1 of ,maggie1 of our encounter with the ,arabs in the tomb1 of anything but of ,mr4 ,stanley's mysterious disappearance6 ,but1 somehow or other1 ,i could not tell why1 my thoughts would come back to it1 in spite of all my efforts to turn them to other subjects4 ,i could not help wondering whether ,evelyn was thinking of the same thing4 ,why was she so quiet this evening8 ,could it be that she missed ,mr4 ,stanley8 ,was ,i right in fancying that was the reason8 ,did she really care for him more than for an ordinary acquaintance8 ,i looked up at her1 and found she was watching me1 with a curious expression on her face--half amused1 half inquiring4 ,i rather resented it1 ,i am afraid1 and looked down again quickly1 and went on steadily with my work4 ,it will all come right1 ,may1 dear1 she said1 after a pause4 ,what will come right1 ,evelyn8 ,i asked4 ,what do you mean8 ,i mean about ,mr4 ,stanley's mysterious disappearance1 she said1 smiling2 ,i am sure we shall get a solution of the mystery in a day or two4 ,oh yes1 ,i said1 carelessly2 we shall have to find another dragoman2 that is the only drawback4 ,the only drawback6 she repeated4 ,you don't think so1 ,i said4 ,you don't think so either1 ,may1 she said2 ,i know you don't4 ,well1 perhaps not1 ,i said4 ,how close it is to-night1 ,evelyn6 ,would you mind me taking a little walk on the verandah outside the window--to get cool before bed-time8 ,oh1 not at all1 she said1 smiling2 go1 ,may1 dear1 it will do you good4 ,so ,i left my work and went outside the window4 ,it was a quiet1 starlight night1 and the stars in the ,east are wonderfully brilliant and beautiful4 ,i walked up and down for some time1 not exactly thinking1 not exactly praying1 but with my heart lifted upwards1 above this changing world1 to the unchanging ,friend above4 ,and an answer came to that upward appeal4 ,it came in the recollection of some words ,i had heard a few days before3 ',next time a trouble comes which you cannot understand1 and which seems so very hard to bear1 just say to yourself it is ,god's chisel at work upon me--you will find it such a help4' ,and it was a help to me2 the very help that ,i needed--,god's chisel at work upon me1 then ,i must not complain2 ,i must not murmur2 ,i must not even wonder2 ,i must just trust and wait4 ,looking up at the bright starry sky1 ,i said1 in the words of a favourite verse3 ,he doeth all things well1 ,we say it now with tears2 ,but we shall sing it with those we love1 ,through bright eternal years4 ,illustration ,illustration ,,chapter ,,xvii4 ,,sunday ,,on ,,mount ,,zion4 ,illustration ,,the next day was ,sunday1 and ,i think we were all glad of this4 ,sir ,william felt unable to make any plans without ,mr4 ,stanley's advice1 but as we had already been several times to the pretty little ,english church1 we had no difficulty in knowing how to spend our time on ,sunday4 ,the service began at ten o'clock1 so we were up early and started for church directly after breakfast4 ,i felt comforted and rested during the service1 and hoped to got just the message ,i needed from the sermon4 ,i must confess ,i was somewhat disappointed when the text was given out1 for it seemed to me that no comfort or help could be found in it4 ,it was a singular text1 and one ,i had never noticed before4 ,the preacher was a ,german by birth1 but he spoke ,english as if it had been his native language4 ,we were told afterwards that he was a converted ,jew1 and the missionary to the ,jews in ,jerusalem4 ,the text was from ,leviticus xxiii4#dj3 ,ye shall take you the boughs of goodly trees1 branches of palm trees1 and the boughs of thick trees1 and willows of the brook2 and ye shall rejoice before the ,lord your ,god seven days4 ,the clergyman first answered the thought which ,i had had in my heart1 that there was no lesson for me in the text1 by showing that all ,god's word was written for our learning1 and that these ,jewish feasts and ceremonies were wonderfully suggestive and helpful1 if we looked into their real meaning and significance4 ,the text contained directions for the ,feast of ,tabernacles1 the feast of joy4 ,it came after the ,day of ,atonement1 after pardon had been obtained1 after sin had been put away4 ,first must coma forgiveness1 then follows joy2 pardon first1 rejoicing afterwards4 ,and in the text1 he said1 we are given four conditions under which alone the joy of the ,lord can be ours2 four characteristics of the true ,christian1 who can alone rejoice before his ,god4 ,i felt in my own heart1 as he was speaking1 how little ,i knew of the true joy of the ,lord4 ,i was so easily cast down by little earthly troubles and worries1 and ,i so soon lost the happiness and peace of feeling the ,lord's presence with me1 and the ,lord's smile upon me4 ,the last two days1 for instance2 oh1 how depressed and miserable ,i had felt6 ,could it be that ,i was overlooking and neglecting one of the four things pictured in the text8 ,then the sermon went on to show that although these four kinds of trees meant nothing to our ,english ears1 they meant a very great deal to the men to whom the direction was given1 for1 to them1 each kind of tree was a word-picture of some particular grace4 ,just as we speak of the innocent daisy1 the humble lily of the valley1 the modest violet2 and just as we take these flowers as emblems to us of innocence1 humility1 and modesty2 and just as we talk of a butterfly life1 and every one knows at once what we mean1--so in the same way1 the ,jews had emblematic meanings for different trees1 and flowers1 and other things in nature1 and they understood perfectly well what was symbolized when these trees or flowers were mentioned4 ,the four kinds of trees in the text had a very deep and beautiful meaning for them4 ,the goodly trees1 or citron trees1 were their emblem for a pure and true heart2 the palm trees were a picture to them of uprightness and bold straightforwardness4 ,the thick trees1 or myrtle trees1 were their symbol of contentment4 ,the myrtle leaf was supposed to be in the shape of an eye1 and was always used by them as the emblem of a modest and contented eye4 ,the willows of the brook were to them a picture of a mouth filled with words of kindness and truth4 ,the leaves of the willow were thought to be in the shape of a mouth1 and they were most particular that only those willow trees should be used in the ,feast of ,tabernacles as had smooth1 soft leaves4 ,those of a sharp and prickly nature1 and the edge of the leaves of which is rough like a saw1 were never allowed to be gathered or used in this ceremony1 that they might understand thereby1 that in order to have true joy they must set a watch before their mouth1 and only suffer words of truth and kindness to come out of it4 ,four characteristics then were at once brought to their minds1 when the direction in the text was given4 ,the ,israelites understood at once1 that to be able really to rejoice in the ,lord they must have a heart pure towards ,god1 they must be upright as the palm-tree1 they must be contented as the myrtle1 and they must have mouths ever speaking words of kindness and truth4 ,and then he asked us to examine ourselves by these four tests4 ,were we keeping the door of our hearts1 guarding it against all evil thoughts1 evil motives1 evil desires8 ,were we also upright before ,god and man1 growing ever heavenward1 ,godward8 ,were we contented and happy to be just where ,god placed us1 and to do just the work that ,god had chosen for us to do8 ,and how about our words2 were we careful to be strictly truthful in every little matter8 ,and did we guard against ever letting unkind or hasty words come out of our mouth8 ,if not1 he said1 how could we expect to be able to rejoice before the ,lord8 ,i have not time to write down more of the sermon now1 but ,i felt it very much2 it went straight to my heart1 and made me feel that it was my own fault that ,i was so seldom in a rejoicing frame of mind4 ,oh1 how earnestly ,i prayed that ,i might be more careful over my heart1 that ,i might be upright as the palm1 contented as the myrtle1 and that my words might ever be acceptable in the sight of my ,lord4 ,a few days afterwards1 as we were sitting at breakfast1 the waiter came into the room with a letter4 ,sir ,william looked at the postmark4 ,alexandria6 he said4 ,well1 ,i am glad he has written at last6 ,is it from ,mr4 ,stanley1 papa8 asked ,evelyn4 ,yes1 he said1 ,i should think so2 ,i do not know any one else who is likely to be in ,alexandria6 ,he opened the letter1 and glanced hastily at its contents4 ,then he took up the envelope1 and looked at it again2 then he turned once more to the first page of the letter and began to read it through4 ,evelyn and ,i sat watching him4 ,i tried to go on with my breakfast1 but ,i felt as if the food would choke me1 for ,sir ,william looked more and more impatient and annoyed as he went on reading4 ,when he had finished1 he tossed the letter on the table1 saying angrily1 ,he is a good-for-nothing rascal6 ,i looked up quickly1 and ,evelyn asked in a trembling voice3 ,who is1 papa--not ,mr4 ,stanley8 ,no1 not ,mr4 ,stanley1 he said2 at least he may be2 ,i do not know that he is2 but that cousin of yours1 ,donald ,trafford--the letter is from him4 ,an idle good-for-nothing rascal1 that is what he is6 ,and ,i shall tell his father so when ,i see him6 ,let me have the letter1 papa1 said ,evelyn4 ,she was as white as a sheet1 and trembling with agitation4 ,well1 don't trouble about it1 darling1 said ,sir ,william1 in quite a different tone from that in which he had spoken before2 he is not worth troubling about2 he really is not4 ,if ,i could only get you to see that4 ,here1 take the letter1 ,i suppose ,i shall have to let you see it2 but don't make yourself ill again1 for my sake6 ,evelyn took the letter and read it slowly through4 ,as she read it a deep crimson flush came into her pale face2 but this faded away and left her as white as death when she had finished reading4 ,then she rose from the table1 without speaking a word1 left the letter lying beside her plate1 and went out of the room4 ,i was rising to follow her when ,sir ,william said3 ,wait a little1 ,miss ,lindsay1 perhaps she will get over it better alone2 if she has a good cry1 it will do her good4 ,poor child1 what a pity she ever took a fancy to that worthless fellow6 ,read his letter1 ,miss ,lindsay1 and tell me what you think of it4 ,i took it up1 and read as follows3 ,my ,,dear ,,uncle1 ,i have no doubt you think that ,i am in ,port ,said1 though ,i did contrive to keep out of your way during your short stay in that delightful place4 ,but ,i am not there now1 but have removed to a town many miles distant1 which ,i will not name1 lest you should feel it your duty to report me in ,england4 ,i should not have troubled you with a letter1 but that ,i wanted to ask you to lend me a trifling sum to start me in business in the town in which ,i am now living4 ,i have had the offer of a first-rate partnership1 which will enable me soon to become a rich man1 but it is necessary that ,i should advance something in the shape of capital4 ,my partner asks for #ajj1 but ,i think he will be content with #ej1 if you are not inclined to forward me the larger sum4 ,i am sure1 dear uncle1 you will not refuse to grant this trifling request1 when ,i tell you that ,i have a wife depending on me1 and that unless ,i can avail myself of this opening 7which is really a splendid one71 there is nothing but starvation before us both4 ,as ,i am now a married man1 there is no chance of my again being an annoyance to you1 so ,i feel sure you will not deny me this small and last favour4 ,please address to ',monsieur ,junt1 ,post ,office1 ,alexandria4' ,m4 ,junt is my wife's brother2 she is a ,french girl1 and he will call for the letter1 and forward the remittance to me4 ,with love to ,evelyn and yourself1 ,believe me1 dear uncle1 ,your affectionate nephew1 ,,donald ,,trafford4 ,p4,s4--,you will wonder how ,i knew you were in ,jerusalem4 ,i met a dragoman the other day who was on board the same steamer with you1 and he heard that you were to spend a long time in ,jerusalem4 ,did you ever hear anything like that8 said ,sir ,william1 as ,i folded up the letter4 ,is not that a piece of cool impertinence8 ,he does not seem much ashamed of himself1 ,i could not help saying4 ,ashamed of himself6 ,no1 indeed6 ,there is not a word about his running off with that money4 ,he is an idle1 selfish1 good-for-nothing fellow6 ,and he was always the same2 it was always a mystery to me what ,evelyn could see to like in him4 ,poor child1 ,i hope it will not make her ill again6 ,oh no1 ,i think not1 ,i said2 ,i think she sees now what his real character is4 ,i hope so1 he said1 anxiously2 perhaps if you went upstairs you could say a word or two to comfort her4 ,you know best--do you think we should leave her alone or not8 ,i think ,i will just go upstairs and see1 ,i said4 ,to my astonishment ,i found ,evelyn sitting in her room busily at work1 and looking quite calm and cheerful4 ,i fancied she had been crying a little1 but she welcomed me with a smile1 and asked me if ,i had read ,donald's letter4 ,i told her that ,sir ,william had wished me to do so1 and then she asked me what ,i thought of it4 ,i did not answer her directly1 for ,i did not like to say what ,i really thought4 ,i will tell you what ,i think of it1 she said1 and ,i shall tell papa when ,i go downstairs4 ,i think it is a shocking letter4 ,i cannot think how ,donald could ever write it6 ,but ,may1 she said1 please don't think ,i am troubling about it4 ,i had given up loving ,donald some time ago1 ever since ,i found out that he was so very different to what ,i always thought he was2 but ,i pitied him dreadfully4 ,i thought he would be so miserable and wretched1 and feel so guilty and ashamed when he thought about his having taken that money4 ,i always pictured him wishing1 oh1 so much1 that he had never done it1 and trying very hard to save his money so that he might be able to pay it back again4 ,but now1 ,may1 ,i can do neither2 ,i can neither love him nor pity him2 he does not deserve either love or pity1 does he8 ,no1 he does not1 ,i said2 the only thing for which we can pity him is for his wickedness4 ,just think of his marrying a ,french girl1 she said4 ,i wonder if it is the one who waited on us in the shop in ,port ,said4 ,well1 ,i am glad he wrote that letter2 it is far better to know what he really is4 ,i can't think how ,i could be so much deceived in him4 ,i am afraid ,i cannot read people's characters very well4 ,but do not let us talk about him any more to-day1 ,may2 the trouble has quite gone1 it has indeed1 but ,i do not like to talk about it2 let us speak of something else4 ,sir ,william was very much relieved to find that ,evelyn was in good spirits1 and that she took his view of ,donald ,trafford's conduct4 ,he was still very much ruffled and annoyed by the letter1 and was1 in consequence1 fidgety and impatient with the world in general all day4 ,not liking to speak about his nephew for fear of distressing ,evelyn1 he gave vent1 instead1 to his feelings about ,mr4 ,stanley's disappearance4 ,mr4 ,stanley evidently did not intend to write now1 he said2 it was one of the strangest things he knew1 his going off in that way4 ,it just proved what he had always heard1 that it does not do to make friends with people whom you meet whilst travelling4 ,it is impossible to tell what they are1 and you may be imposed upon to any extent4 ,oh1 papa1 said ,evelyn1 what do you mean8 ,surely you do not mean that ,air4 ,stanley imposed upon us8 ,well1 ,i don't say that he did1 said ,six ,william2 but ,i say that we don't know that he did not4 ,you must confess that it was a very suspicious thing his disappearing so suddenly1 and never giving us a hint as to where he was going4 ,i don't like it at all4 ,i longed to speak1 but ,i felt as if ,i could hardly trust myself to do so1 for ,i might have said more than ,i intended1 if ,i had opened my lips4 ,so ,i left the defence to ,evelyn1 and she took it up indignantly4 ,it is really too bad1 papa1 she said1 to speak of ,mr4 ,stanley in that way6 ,i think he is one of the nicest and best men ,i have ever seen4 ,so he seemed to be1 ,i grant1 said ,sir ,william2 but how do we know who he is1 or what he is8 ,we only know it from what he told us himself2 and that may be true--,i hope it is--or it may be false4 ,that is why it is very foolish ever to be too friendly with people you meet when travelling2 they may be all they profess to be1 or they may not4 ,but ,mr4 ,stanley is a great friend of ,lord ,moreton1 papa1 said ,evelyn2 ,i know he is4 ,he told me he was the day ,claude and ,alice were here4 ,yes1 ,i know he told you so1 said ,sir ,william2 ,i never heard ,lord ,moreton mention him4 ,will you not write and ask ,lord ,moreton1 papa8 ,it is quite worth while1 and then we shall know one way or the other4 ,yes1 perhaps ,i will1 said ,sir ,william2 that will settle the matter anyhow2 perhaps ,lord ,moreton may be able to clear up the mystery4 ,the next day was the mail day1 and ,sir ,william gave me his letters to take to the man who was going to post them4 ,i looked through the addresses as ,i went downstairs1 but there was none to ,lord ,moreton3 he had forgotten it4 ,we did not much enjoy our visit to ,jerusalem after ,mr4 ,stanley left us4 ,we had very cold and cheerless weather1 and the bare stone floors and covered stones were poor substitutes for the richly-carpeted rooms and bright blazing fires in ,alliston ,hall4 ,then during the cold weather it rained incessantly the whole day1 and the rain was far heavier than we ever see it in ,england4 ,we were obliged to keep indoors in the hotel1 listening to the sound of the water which was rushing down the spouts of the house into the cisterns1 in which it was carefully preserved for use during the following summer1 and trying to amuse ourselves as best we could with our work1 and the few books to be found in the hotel4 ,sir ,william became very impatient1 and a great longing came suddenly over him to go homewards4 ,he was tired of foreign travelling1 and foreign places1 and foreign hotels1 he said1 and ,evelyn seemed so well and strong1 that he thought there could be no risk in her returning to ,england4 ,evelyn and ,i assented cordially to the proposal1 so it was decided to leave ,jaffa by the very next steamer4 ,we visited many places in ,italy and ,germany1 and spent a long time on the return journey2 for ,sir ,william was afraid1 for ,evelyn's sake1 of arriving1 in ,england till the spring had fairly begun4 ,i was very much interested in a great deal that we saw1 and yet ,i did not enjoy it nearly so much as ,i had always imagined ,i should enjoy a tour on the ,continent4 ,i felt unsettled and restless1 and longed to be back in ,england4 ,we stayed for some weeks in ,london before going to ,alliston1 for ,sir ,william had some business that he was anxious to transact1 before returning home4 ,london was bright and gay just then1 and we enjoyed our visit to it very much4 ,but what gave me more pleasure than anything else was meeting ,miss ,irvine again4 ,her home in ,london was in the next street to the one in which we were staying1 and we saw her every day4 ,we were much interested in hearing of the work for ,god that ,miss ,irvine was doing in one of the very poorest and lowest of the ,london parishes4 ,she spoke very little of it herself1 but we found out by degrees that1 during the last few months1 a most wonderful work1 of which she was the centre1 had been going on amongst the poor lost people who are crowded together in the alleys and courts of that part of ,london4 ,whilst we were there1 a tea was to be given to the women who attended her mothers' meeting4 ,their husbands were also invited1 for she hoped by this means to be able to reach many whom it was impossible to see or to speak with in any other way4 ,miss ,irvine asked us1 the day before the tea took place1 whether we should like to be present4 ,evelyn accepted her invitation joyfully1 but ,sir ,william demurred a little when he heard of it4 ,i don't like your going into those low parts of the city1 my dear1 he said to ,evelyn2 in your state of health you ought to be careful4 ,there are sure to be people there just recovering from fever or small-pox1 and it can't be good for you to go through those dirty1 filthy1 close streets4 ,evelyn looked very much disappointed4 ,i want so very much to see ,lilla's poor people1 papa1 she said4 ,he was going to answer her1 when ,miss ,irvine said1 ,perhaps if ,evelyn does not come1 you will look in for a few minutes1 ,sir ,william8 ,lord ,moreton is going to give them a little address after tea1 and he would like to meet you4 ,sir ,william fell into the snare she had laid for him4 ,lord ,moreton6 he exclaimed4 ,how did you get him to come8 ,why1 he is not in town now4 ,no1 but he is coming up for my tea-party1 said ,miss ,irvine1 laughing2 he takes a great interest in my little mission work2 indeed1 if it had not been for ,lord ,moreton ,i could not have carried it on4 ,he supplies the means1 whilst ,i try to find the workers4 ,he hires the room for me in which ,i have all my meetings1 and in which the tea will be given to-morrow night4 ,indeed6 said ,sir ,william4 ,i had no idea of that4 ,and you say he is going to give you an address8 ,yes1 he has promised to say a few words to the mothers2 he has spoken to them before1 and they felt it very much4 ,he puts the way of salvation so simply before them that it seems to go straight to their hearts4 ,well1 ,i really think we must go and hear him4 ,evelyn1 my dear1 ,i don't think it will hurt you if you do not dress too warmly2 those places are always so close4 ,we will drive there and keep the windows closed1 so that the foul air of the streets will not come in4 ,what time shall we be ready1 ,lilla8 ,all arrangements were made1 and ,evelyn and ,i both looked forward with much pleasure to the following evening4 ,illustration ,illustration ,,chapter ,,xviii4 ,,the ,,mystery ,,solved4 ,illustration ,,miss ,,irvine',s mission-room was a bright1 cheerful place1 and was very prettily decorated for the festive occasion4 ,texts cut out in red and in white paper1 and wreaths of holly and ivy ornamented the walls2 and the long tables1 covered with white cloths1 were spread with a most beautiful repast1 which was arranged as prettily and tastefully as if it had been set out for a wedding breakfast4 ,the guests had all arrived when we went in1 and were sitting at the tables1 quietly admiring all around them4 ,poor tired mothers1 many of them with babies in their arms2 husbands1 whose faces bore marks of care and toil1 and many of whom showed plainly that drink and sin were bearing them down1 and ruining their health and their homes2 children1 with pinched and unchildlike faces1 were all gathered round the pretty tea-tables1 looking forward to a happy evening in their unhappy lives4 ,most of the men were in working clothes1 for they possessed no other's in which to come2 but they had all made themselves as clean and tidy as they could1 and seemed shyly and quietly happy4 ,they began to feel more at their ease when a blessing was asked1 the tea was poured out1 and we all sat down together4 ,then the tongues began to be busy and their poor1 careworn faces looked glad and happy4 ,lord ,moreton was there1 working busily1 looking after the wants of every one of the poor people1 and talking pleasantly to them all the time4 ,he was a tall man1 with dark hair2 and ,i thought him very handsome indeed1 in spite of the slight cast in his eye of which ,evelyn had complained so much4 ,but it was so very slight that it was not at all unpleasant1 and ,i wondered that she had considered it such a drawback to his face4 ,he came up to us as soon as we entered the room1 and seemed very pleased to meet ,sir ,william and ,evelyn4 ,but we had little time for conversation till the work of the evening was over4 ,after tea came ,lord ,moreton's address4 ,it was very simple1 and very much to the point1 and ,i could see that the poor people felt it4 ,he spoke to them of the love of ,jesus1 and how ,he was longing and yearning to save them2 how ,he was following them like the shepherd after the lost sheep1 seeking them by night1 seeking them by day1 seeking them in sickness1 seeking them in health1 seeking them in their sin and trouble and misery1 ever seeking them1 ever longing for them to turn round and let ,him find them4 ,and then ,lord ,moreton begged them to turn round to ,him that very night1 to leave drink behind1 to leave sin behind1 to leave shame behind1 to turn their back on ,satan and all his ways1 to turn round to the ,good ,shepherd1 and to say to ,him1 ,lord ,jesus1 save me4 ,there were very few dry eyes when ,lord ,moreton had finished4 ,he did not show his nervousness at all when he was speaking4 ,i fancied that his hand trembled a little1 but his voice was clear and steady1 and he spoke so naturally and unaffectedly that you forgot the man altogether1 and became engrossed only with what he was saying4 ,there was something in his quiet1 persuasive1 pleading manner which it would require a hard heart to withstand4 ,i could see that ,evelyn felt it very much1 though she made no remark upon it afterwards4 ,when the poor people had left1 and only the helpers remained in the room1 we had more time for conversation4 ,then1 for the first time1 ,i saw that ,lord ,moreton was indeed a very nervous man4 ,he was so shy and reserved when he first came up to us1 that ,i could hardly believe he was the man who had spoken so easily and naturally to the poor people4 ,but ,sir ,william soon set him at ease1 by telling him of our journey to the ,east1 and of some of our adventures whilst we were there4 ,you met a friend of mine in ,jerusalem1 ,i think1 ,lord ,moreton said4 ,oh yes1 you mean ,mr4 ,stanley1 said ,sir ,william1 as if he had never doubted1 for a moment1 ,mr4 ,stanley's friendship with ,lord ,moreton4 ,he proved a capital guide to us2 we were sorry he had to leave so abruptly4 ,yes1 poor fellow1 said ,lord ,moreton2 it was a very great shock to him4 ,what was a great shock to him8 asked ,sir ,william4 ,we never heard why he left ,jerusalem so suddenly4 ,oh1 did you not8 said ,lord ,moreton4 ,he told me that he had written to you1 and ,i think he was a little disappointed that he did not get an answer4 ,it was on account of his father's illness4 ,i sent him a telegram to tell him how dangerously ill his father was1 and he left ,jerusalem immediately he received it4 ,but he was too late2 his father had been dead some days when he arrived4 ,poor fellow1 it was a terrible time for him6 ,i am really very sorry1 said ,sir ,william2 ,i had no idea that he was in such trouble2 it seemed strange to us1 as you may imagine1 his disappearing so suddenly1 and without any reason1 so far as we knew4 ,yes1 of course it would1 said ,lord ,moreton2 he will be very vexed when he finds his letter did not reach you4 ,he is such a nice fellow2 he is just like a brother to me4 ,the ,stanley's place is close to ours1 so we see a great deal of each other1 and of course we shall be more than ever together now that ,howard has come into the property2 for he will be still more at home now4 ,i am very sorry to hear of his father's death1 said ,sir ,william again4 ,yes1 answered ,lord ,moreton2 and you would have felt it very much if you had seen his grief when he arrived1 and ,i had to tell him that his father was gone2 it was very sad4 ,his mother died a few years ago1 and there were no other children1 so he and his father had been all in all to each other4 ,howard was very unwilling to go abroad this year1 for he fancied his father was failing a little2 but the old man insisted on his going1 for ,howard had a severe illness just this time last year1 and the doctors said he would not be strong again until he had had a complete change4 ,it was very sad1 was it not1 that it ended as it did8 ,poor fellow6 said ,sir ,william4 ,can you give me his address8 ,i should like to write to him1 and express my sympathy1 and explain why ,i did not write before4 ,yes1 ,i will give it to you at once1 said ,lord ,moreton1 as he took a leaf from his pocket-book1 wrote the address1 and handed it to ,sir ,william4 ,stanley is very busy now1 of course1 settling his affairs1 but in a month's time ,i have persuaded him to go with me for a run in the ,highlands2 ,i am sure it will do him good4 ,in the ,highlands6 said ,sir ,william4 ,then you will1 of course1 come to us on the way1 both of you4 ,and remember1 we shall not be content with a three day's visit2 you must spare us a week or ten days at least4 ,oh1 thank you1 said ,lord ,moreton2 that will be very nice6 ,i will write to ,mr4 ,stanley about it to-morrow4 ,just name your own day when your plans are formed2 we are expecting no visitors at present4 ,so it was all settled1 and ,lord ,moreton said good-bye to us1 for he was to leave town by the early train the next day4 ,well1 papa1 said ,evelyn1 as we drove home1 ,mr4 ,stanley was not an escaped convict after all4 ,i never said he was1 my dear2 ,i always thought him a remarkably nice fellow2 only1 of course1 his sudden disappearance was a little puzzling and somewhat mysterious4 ,if we had only got his letter it would have been all right6 ,then ,sir ,william changed the subject1 by complimenting ,miss ,irvine on the success of her entertainment1 and speaking very highly of ,lord ,moreton's forcible address4 ,we went back to ,alliston the following week1 and1 to my great joy1 ,sir ,william proposed that ,i should go at once to the old ,manor ,house at ,branston to see ,maggie4 ,the aunts were delighted to have me1 so ,i went there the day after ,i had received their letter4 ,i found everything in the house and around it just the same as when ,i had left it4 ,the same neatness and order and punctuality and regularity reigned everywhere1 and the same kindly feeling pervaded the whole place4 ,my dear little ,maggie was on the platform to welcome me1 and ,john and the comfortable horses were waiting for me at the entrance to the station4 ,the sisters received me with open arms1 and with tears in their eyes1 and ,miss ,jane returned thanks at family prayers that night1 for the marvellous escapes1 and wonderful preservation in the midst of many and great dangers1 which had been vouchsafed to one of their number1 during her residence in the land of the infidel and the heretic4 ,i had much to tell1 and they had much to hear1 and the fortnight passed away all too quickly4 ,during the second week ,maggie and ,i went for a two days' visit to the ,parsonage at ,acton4 ,miss ,richards was very anxious to see us again1 and wrote me a very touching letter1 saying1 that if we would not mind spending a quiet day or two with her she would feel it a real kindness1 and it would be a great cheer and comfort to her4 ,she did not think her time on earth would be very long1 she said2 the doctor had told her that she might linger for a few months1 but that she was suffering from a complaint which must end in death4 ,so he says1 my dear1 wrote the good old lady2 but ,i would rather say1 it must end in life--life in ,his presence1 where alone is fulness of joy4 ,we found ,miss ,richards very much altered1 weak and ill1 and fearfully thin2 yet still able to go about a little1 to look after her housekeeping1 and to sit in her easy chair in the garden1 with her work or her book4 ,we had many quiet1 happy talks together1 and ,i felt it a great privilege to be speaking to one who was1 as it were1 close on the threshold of heaven itself4 ,mr4 ,ellis was very much aged1 and looked careworn and depressed4 ,he was exceedingly kind to us2 but he seemed as if a heavy weight were resting on him1 which he could not shake off4 ,whilst we were at ,acton1 ,maggie and ,i went and peeped through the gate of our old home4 ,it looked just the same2 it was not altered at all4 ,the rabbits were nibbling the grass on the lawn1 the stream was trickling peacefully along1 and every bush1 and tree1 and flower-bed looked just as they had done on that memorable day when ,i had sat by my bedroom window with ,claude's unanswered letter in my hand4 ,but the home was no longer ours1 and even as we looked at it little children's faces appeared at the window of my old room and reminded me of this4 ,i thought of ,miss ,irvine's words as ,i turned away3 ,what a comfort that there is one home where there will be no parting1 and no going away4 ,that evening1 after ,maggie was in bed1 ,miss ,richards called me into her room1 and spoke to me about ,claude4 ,may1 dear1 you remember our last talk together before you went away1 she said2 you were indeed right1 and ,i was wrong4 ,i would not have you ,claude's wife now for the world4 ,you had1 indeed1 a very happy escape4 ,i think ,i told you we met them in ,jerusalem1 ,miss ,richards4 ,yes1 and they are still abroad1 spending what money they have4 ,it will all be gone soon1 and then they will be obliged to return home1 and the crash will come4 ,what do you mean1 ,miss ,richards8 ,i asked4 ,i thought they were very rich4 ,so we thought1 my dear1 and so they thought2 but ,alice's money has proved a mere bubble4 ,her father has speculated a great deal1 and the whole of her money has gone now1 every penny of it4 ,they did not know that when you saw them in ,jerusalem2 it has come out since4 ,and ,claude1 you know1 has not very much money of his own4 ,it would have been a nice little sum yearly if he had been careful4 ,but oh1 the bills1 any dear6 ,scores of them are waiting for him2 they send a great many here to be forwarded4 ,i believe that is why he does not come home4 ,but he must come1 some time or other2 and then his father thinks that more than the whole of ,claude's capital will be swallowed up in order to pay his debts4 ,and what will they do then1 my dear8 ,i am very sorry to hear it1 ,i said4 ,yes1 said ,miss ,richards1 and this trouble is just crushing the life out of his poor father4 ,i try to comfort him2 and ,i tell him that ,i hope this trial will be the means1 by ,god's blessing1 of bringing ,claude to the ,saviour4 ,but1 though ,i tell ,mr4 ,ellis so1 my dear1 ,i feel very doubtful about it1 for ,claude has so hardened his heart against all religion1 and has so shut his eyes and refused to believe the truth1 that ,i am very much afraid there is not much hope for him4 ,i don't tell his father so2 but ,i have great fears myself that even this trouble will not bring him any nearer to ,god4 ,i was afraid his views were the same1 ,i said1 when ,i met them in ,jerusalem4 ,oh yes1 they are even more pronounced1 said ,miss ,richards2 and he has made his poor little wife almost as great a doubter as himself4 ,she is a nice little thing1 very affectionate and good to me2 and ,i feel for her terribly in this trouble4 ,i am afraid it will make great unhappiness between them4 ,i quite dread their coming home4 ,that was the last time ,i ever saw ,miss ,richards4 ,she took a loving farewell of me the next morning1 and we both of us knew that1 when next we met1 it would be in the land where partings are unknown4 ,i heard of her death1 or rather of her entrance into life1 only a few weeks after our visit to ,acton4 ,maggie's aunts were very anxious that ,i should spend another week with them1 before going back to ,alliston ,hall2 but ,evelyn had written to me1 saying that ,lord ,moreton and ,mr4 ,stanley were expected on the very day that ,i had already fixed to return1 and she hoped that ,i should not fail to appear1 as she wanted us all to have a good talk together about ,jerusalem and our adventures there4 ,i told ,maggie and the aunts that ,i did not like to disappoint ,evelyn1 but felt that as she wished it1 ,i ought to go back at once4 ,i did not say anything of my own feelings in the matter4 ,i arrived at ,alliston ,hall just as ,evelyn was dressing for dinner4 ,she welcomed me with great joy1 and told me that the visitors had arrived1 and that ,i must get ready with all haste1 as the gong would soon sound for dinner4 ,when ,i was dressed ,i went into the library1 thinking that ,i was late1 and that every one would have assembled1 but ,i found no one there except ,mr4 ,stanley4 ,i do not know how it was1 but ,i suddenly turned very shy and nervous1 and1 after shaking hands with him1 ,i was on the point of making an excuse about wanting to get my work1 and by this means leaving the room1 when he began to ask me many questions about ,jerusalem1 and ,i was obliged to stay4 ,so ,i was put down as a suspicious character1 he said1 smiling1 when ,i disappeared so suddenly4 ,sir ,william thought it very strange1 ,i said2 and he began to doubt a little if you were what you said you were4 ,mr4 ,stanley laughed4 ,and you8 he asked4 ,oh1 ,i knew it would be all right4 ,you did not doubt me then8 ,no1 not at all1 ,i said4 ,thank you4 ,there was a pause after this1 and then he said gravely1 ,the chisel has been very busy since ,i saw you last4 ,yes1 ,i said1 ,i was very sorry to hear of it4 ,we must not be sorry1 he said1 gently2 for him it is great gain1 and for me-- ,for you8 ,i asked1 for he seemed as if he did not like to go on4 ,for me1 it is a hard bit of discipline2 the ,master ,builder's tools have cut very deep1 but it is all right4 ,i ought not to be sorry1 ought ,i8 ,i see what you mean1 ,i said2 but are we not told to be 'sorrowful1 yet always rejoicing8' ,don't you think it is a comfort that the two are put together8 ,yes1 he said1 thoughtfully1 ,i see2 ,he does not blame us for being sorry1 so long as we sorrow not as others which have no hope4 ',sorrowful1 yet always rejoicing2' thank you so much for the thought4 ,i fancied that he had a tear in his eye as he spoke1 but ,i could not be sure1 for a minute afterwards ,sir ,william entered the room1 and then he seemed as cheerful and full of spirits as he had always been whilst we were travelling together4 ,so you never got my letter6 he said1 to ,sir ,william4 ,i am very sorry2 but ,i gave it to a dragoman whom ,i knew pretty well1 and whom ,i met at the ,jaffa ,gate4 ,he was not a ,jerusalem dragoman1 but one who had come with some people from ,cairo1 and he promised me to deliver it at once4 ,he must either have forgotten it1 or1 ,arab-like1 he conveniently lost it1 but took care not to lose the 'baksheesh' ,i gave him at the same time4 ,well1 it does not signify now6 ,oh no1 said ,sir ,william1 of course not2 only that fellow deserves to hear of it again6 ,but how was it they knew nothing of your telegram at the ,convent8 ,i met the man in the street bringing it1 just after ,i left you1 ,miss ,lindsay4 ,he knew me by sight1 and handed it to me at once1 and then ,i just hurried back to the ,convent and told them ,i must leave that morning2 but ,i had neither time nor inclination to enter into particulars with them4 ,when the gentlemen came into the drawing-room after dinner1 ,mr4 ,stanley brought out a number of splendid photographs of ,jerusalem and its neighbourhood which he had bought in ,london1 and had brought with him to show us4 ,sir ,william was engrossed for some time in an interesting debate which he had just found in the ,times newspaper2 but ,evelyn explained the ,jerusalem photographs to ,lord ,moreton1 and ,mr4 ,stanley sat by me and pointed out the different places that we had visited together4 ,there was one beautiful view taken from the ,mount of ,olives1 just at the turn of the hill where we had stood to look down upon ,jerusalem4 ,we looked at this photograph a long time2 ,i thought it more beautiful than any of the others4 ,jerusalem stood out clear and bright in the sunshine1 each house1 each mosque1 each dome was standing out before us almost as distinctly as we had seen it on that lovely evening when1 like our ,lord and ,master1 we had beheld the city and wept over it4 ,i shall never look at that photograph1 said ,mr4 ,stanley1 without thinking of those words3 ',rejoice with me1 for ,i have found my sheep which ,i had lost4' ,do you remember who said them to me there8 ,yes1 ,i said2 that was a very pleasant ride4 ,are the olive-leaves safe yet8 he asked1 in a low voice4 ,oh yes1 ,i said2 did you think ,i would lose them8 ,no1 ,i did not think so2 but ,i wanted you to tell me1 that was all4 ,how much there was to talk of during those few days1 and how many times we said the words1 ,do you remember8 ,i have heard it said that when we use those three words it is a proof that we are talking to friends and not to strangers4 ,to strangers we can never say1 ,do you remember8 ,but to friends1 to those who have gone side by side with us along any part of the pathway of life1 how often we say to them1 ,do you remember this8 ,do you remember that8 ,and how pleasant it is to recall first one thing and then another in the past1 and to talk it over together6 ,i think this will be one of the pleasures of heaven4 ,we shall often there1 ,i think1 use those three words1 ,do you remember8 as we go over together in memory all the way that the ,lord our ,god has led us1 and as we recall the many proofs of ,his love1 ,his goodness1 and ,his wisdom1 that we enjoyed together on earth4 ,it was the last evening of ,lord ,moreton's and ,mr4 ,stanley's visit2 the next day they were to leave us for the ,north4 ,we were wandering about the lovely gardens of ,alliston ,hall1 gathering fresh flowers for ,evelyn's sitting-room1 for ,i would never let any one else arrange the flowers there4 ,lord ,moreton was very anxious to see a new and very rare shrub that ,sir ,william had had planted at the other side of the gardens1 and ,evelyn went to show it to him4 ,mr4 ,stanley and ,i stopped behind1 for he complained of feeling tired1 and ,i had not finished gathering my flowers4 ,i am so sorry we are going to-morrow1 he said4 ,i did not answer him1 but bent over the bed to gather a beautiful white lily of the valley4 ,but ,i shall not disappear so suddenly and mysteriously this time1 he said4 ,no1 that is a comfort1 ,i said1 involuntarily1 and then felt very angry with myself for having said it4 ,why is it a comfort8 he asked4 ,was my leaving ,jerusalem any trouble to you8 ,yes1 ,i said2 of course ,i was sorry4 ,i did not like ,sir ,william to doubt you4 ,i am very glad you trusted me through it all1 he said4 ,i was gathering some more lilies1 so ,i did not look up till he spoke again1 and then he only asked me a question1 and ,i do not remember that ,i ever answered it3 ,will you trust me through life1 ,may8 he said4 ,illustration ,illustration ,,chapter ,,xix4 ,,was ,i ,,right8 ,illustration ,,we often speak of learning by contrast2 and1 surely1 some of our most forcible lessons1 those which we never forget1 are learnt in this way4 ,i had been about three months in my new home1 and ,i had always felt that it was the happiest place on earth1 and yet1 although ,i thanked ,god for giving it to me1 every morning and evening1 when ,i said my prayers1 still ,i do not think ,i ever realised how happy1 how peaceful1 how blessed it was1 until that ,monday night4 ,for ,monday morning's post had brought me a letter1 written in pencil and almost illegible4 ,i did not recognise the writing1 and therefore glanced to the end1 and ,i was very much surprised to see the signature--,alice ,ellis4 ,yes1 the letter was from ,claude's wife4 ,it was a very short one4 ,i turned to the beginning1 and read as follows3 ,,my ,,dear ,,mrs4 ,,stanley1 ,i want to ask a great favour of you4 ,will you come and see me1 as soon as you can after you get this letter8 ,i want very much to speak to you2 there is something that ,i want to ask you4 ,i am very ill1 so please forgive this untidy note1 for ,i am writing it in bed4 ,do come at once1 if you can4 ,please forgive me for asking you4 ,believe me1 dear ,mrs4 ,stanley1 ,very sincerely yours1 ,,alice ,,ellis4 ,illustration3 ,a ,,sad ,,errand4 ,we do not live very far from ,london2 it is only about an hour's journey1 so ,i went by the next train4 ,i wondered very much why ,alice had sent for me1 and what she wanted to ask me4 ,when ,i arrived in ,london ,i took a cab to the address she had given me on the letter4 ,the cabman drove for about a mile through a dirty and dismal part of the great city1 and then he stopped before a high dismal house1 in the midst of a row of high dismal houses1 which was confronted1 on the opposite side of the street1 by another row of houses just as high and just as dismal4 ,i dismissed the cabman and rang the bell4 ,the door was opened by an untidy servant1 with no cap or collar on1 but wearing a very dirty1 ragged apron4 ,she showed me into a room the windows of which looked out into the narrow street1 and asked me to sit down whilst she went to tell the folks upstairs that ,i had come4 ,the room was shabbily furnished1 and smelt strongly of tobacco1 and the atmosphere was close and stifling1 as if the windows had not been opened for a long time4 ,was it possible that ,claude and ,alice were living here1 or had ,i made a mistake in the address8 ,i referred to the letter in my pocket1 and found ,i was correct as to the name of the street and the number of the house1 and1 certainly1 the girl who had admitted me had said that ,mrs4 ,ellis lived there4 ,but oh1 how forlorn and dreary everything looked6 ,i was quite glad when a slipshod footstep was heard on the stairs1 and a sullen-looking girl1 of about fourteen years old1 came in1 and asked me to come upstairs to missus4 ,she took me into a bedroom at the very top of that high house1 and there1 lying in bed and looking fearfully ill1 ,i found ,claude's wife1 ,alice4 ,she welcomed me very warmly1 and thanked me1 again and again1 for coming so soon2 but ,i could hardly hear what she said1 for her baby1 who was lying on the bed beside her1 was crying so loudly1 and her every effort to pacify him was in vain4 ,jane1 you can take baby into the next room1 she said to the girl2 he is so fretful6 ,does not he look ill8 she added1 turning to me4 ,i took the child in my arms2 he was dreadfully thin1 and had a careworn1 wasted face1 more like that of an old man than of a baby three months old4 ,poor little fellow6 ,i said4 ,yes1 she said1 with a sigh2 ,i almost wish sometimes that he would die4 ,oh1 ,mrs4 ,ellis1 ,i exclaimed2 you don't mean that4 ,yes ,i do1 she said1 bitterly2 ,i had rather that he died before ,i do4 ,take him into the next room1 ,jane6 ,the girl took the child from me and went away1 leaving the door open behind her4 ,would you mind shutting the door8 said ,mrs4 ,ellis4 ,she always will have it open4 ,and then ,i can talk to you comfortably2 we shall feel quite safe4 ,i have been wishing to see you for more than a week1 she went on2 ever since ,i knew that ,i was so ill4 ,oh1 ,mrs4 ,stanley1 ,i am so utterly miserable4 ,i am very sorry to find you so ill1 ,i said4 ,yes1 she said1 ,i am very ill1 and ,i shall never be well again4 ,the doctor says ,i am in a rapid decline4 ,it is trouble which has brought it on2 you will have heard what trouble we have had4 ,miss ,richards told me something about it1 when ,i was with her1 a few months before she died1 ,i said4 ,yes1 all my money has gone2 every farthing of it4 ,my father made some mistake about it1 and the investments failed1 and we lost it all4 ,and ,claude is so angry about it2 he says my father has deceived him1 and he is just as vexed as if it were my fault2 he has not seemed to care for me a bit since then4 ,but ,i did not mean to speak of that4 ,i don't want to complain4 ,it is natural1 ,i suppose1 that he should be vexed4 ,he thought we were rich1 and we went on spending a quantity of money1 and then1 when this came out1 all the people sent in their bills1 and now all ,claude's money has gone too4 ,i don't know what will become of us6 ,and you look so ill1 ,i said2 you ought to be taken care of1 ,mrs4 ,ellis4 ,oh1 she said1 ,i don't mind so much for myself2 it is poor little baby that makes me so unhappy4 ,he cries so much1 and that girl is so very careless with him4 ,old ,mr4 ,ellis is very kind2 he wants me to go there1 but ,claude won't hear of it3 ,i don't know why4 ,we could not live at all if it were not for ,claude's father2 he is always sending him money4 ,but could you not be moved into a more comfortable lodging than this8 ,i asked4 ,i'm afraid not4 ,it is very dirty and untidy2 but you see they are good in one way1 they do not hurry us about paying them1 so it seems a pity to move4 ,but ,i did not send for you to tell you all our troubles1 ,mrs4 ,stanley1 she said2 ,i wanted you1 if you could1 to help me to get a little comfort4 ,in what way8 ,i asked1 for ,i wanted to hear what she would say4 ,do you remember a conversation we had together when ,i stayed at ,alliston ,hall1 ,mrs4 ,stanley8 ,i told you then that ,i always tried to laugh trouble away1 and you said--do you remember what you said8 ,what was it8 ,i asked4 ,you said that there were some troubles that could not be laughed away4 ,those troubles have come to me now2 ,i can't laugh now1 ,mrs4 ,stanley4 ,but ,i wonder if you remember what else you said that day2 you told me that you never tried to laugh troubles away1 but you always prayed them away4 ,oh1 if ,i could only do that6 ,do you believe in prayer1 ,mrs4 ,ellis8 ,i asked4 ,yes1 ,i do1 she said1 earnestly2 ,i do now4 ,i used to laugh at it when ,claude laughed at it1 and ,i used to try to think it was all nonsense4 ,but the other day the doctor was here1 and ,i said1-- ',doctor1 please tell me the truth2 shall ,i ever get well again8' ,and the doctor said1 ',i am afraid not1 ,mrs4 ,ellis4' ,then ,i asked him how long he thought ,i should live1 and he said 'perhaps a month or two4' ,and then he went away4 ,i told ,claude what the doctor had said1 but he answered3 ',oh1 nonsense1 that doctor is a fool1 don't believe him2 you have nothing the matter with you2 you will be all right when the warm weather comes4' ,and then ,claude went out1 and he did not come home till past midnight2 he is always out till quite late every night4 ,i do not know where he goes2 he never will tell me1 and he is always so tired and cross when he comes in4 ,well1 that night ,i lay awake thinking the whole time1 and oh1 ,mrs4 ,stanley1 ,i was so frightened4 ,i knew the doctor was right1 ,i felt that ,i had not long to live1 and then ,i asked myself1-- ',where am ,i going8' ,i must be going somewhere4 ,oh1 ,mrs4 ,stanley1 ,i felt that night1 and ,i feel now1 that the ,bible is true2 my own heart tells me so4 ,i cannot doubt1 now that ,i am dying4 ,i made up my mind that night that ,i would send for you1 but since then ,i have been putting it off4 ,i was afraid you would not like to come1 we have seen so little of each other2 but then1 yesterday1 ,i thought ,i would just write and tell you1 for there is no one else ,i can think of who would be able to help me4 ,i am very glad you have sent for me1 ,i said1 taking her thin hand in mine2 and now1 what was it you wanted to ask me8 ,i want you to tell me very simply1 she said1 how to be saved2 tell me what ,i must do to get rid of my sin--oh1 ,mrs4 ,stanley1 ,i have been so very wicked1 what must ,i do8 ,i will do anything ,i can1 if ,i only know what it is4 ,there is nothing to do1 ,i said1 nothing at all2 if you feel your sin1 and long to get rid of it1 there is nothing to do4 ,nothing to do6 she1 said1 incredulously4 ,oh yes1 ,mrs4 ,stanley1 there must be something to do6 ,no1 ,i said1 decidedly1 there is nothing to do2 but there is something to take6 ,something to take6 she repeated1 in somewhat of her old manner4 ,i suppose you mean that ,i am to take salvation2 but that is so very indefinite1 ,mrs4 ,stanley4 ,i know all those set phrases so well2 but they mean nothing to me4 ,what is salvation1 and how am ,i to take it8 ,you are quite right1 ,i said1 have nothing to do with set phrases2 they are hollow and worthless4 ,you have to deal1 not with dead words but with a living ,saviour1 ,mrs4 ,ellis4 ,it is the ,lord ,jesus whom ,i want you to take--as your own ,saviour4 ,i want you to take ,him as the ,one who can alone save you from the guilt and power of your sin1 and who can alone give you the right to enter heaven4 ,he comes to you1 and ,he says3 ',take ,me1 take ,my love as your own2 look upon ,me as the ,one who has died to save you1 and then you need not fear4' ,you understand how it is that ,he is able to save you1 ,mrs4 ,ellis1 that ,he has been punished instead of you2 that your sins have been laid on ,him1 and that ,he has suffered the penalty that your sins deserved6 ,oh yes1 she said1 ,i know all that with my head2 ,i know it theoretically1 but ,i want to be able to put it into practice4 ,how am ,i to be quite sure that ,jesus has done that for me2 how am ,i to know that ,he has taken my sin away8 ,because ,god's ,word tells you so1 ,i said2 and ,i took my ,bible from my pocket and read3 ',he was wounded for our transgressions1 ,he was bruised for our iniquities3 the chastisement of our peace was upon ,him2 and with ,his stripes we are healed4 ,all we like sheep have gone astray2 we have turned every one to his own way2 and the ,lord hath laid on ,him the iniquity of us all4' ,then what is there left for me to do8 she asked4 ,only to accept the ,lord ,jesus as your ,saviour1 ,i said4 ,go to ,him and say to ,him1-- ',lord ,jesus1 ,i do thank ,thee for bearing my sins2 ,i trust myself to ,thee to be saved4 ,i want to be forgiven through ,thy death1 and because ,thou hast been punished in my place4' ,is that all8 she said4 ,that is all6 ,i answered4 ,you cannot do more4 ,one of my husband's tenants was in great trouble a few months ago2 he was not at all a rich man1 and he had got into some rather serious difficulties with a neighbour of his4 ,my husband heard of it1 and when he had been told the whole story1 he felt that the man was to be pitied4 ,the poor wife came and pleaded with tears in her eyes that he would help them1 so my husband went to the trial to see what could be done4 ,the sentence was pronounced--the man was to pay #bj1 or failing that1 he was to go to prison4 ,the poor man could not have paid even #e1 for he was very badly off1 so he was quite prepared to be led off to prison4 ,but at that moment my husband stepped forward1 and laid down the #bj4 ,what was left for the man to do8 ,nothing1 but to come forward and to say with tears in his eyes1-- ',mr4 ,stanley1 ,i thank you kindly1 sir2 ,i shall never forget it as long as ,i live6' ,i see1 she said2 ,i see it all now2 and is that just what ,i have to do8 ,exactly1 ,i said2 you must go to the ,lord ,jesus and say1-- ',lord1 ,i have nothing with which to pay4 ,i am a great sinner1 and owe a great debt1 but ,thou hast paid it all2 ,i look upon ,thee as my ,saviour1 and ,i shall never forget it as long as ,i live4' ,it is quite touching to see that poor man's love for my husband now2 he tries in every way he can to show his gratitude4 ,i see1 she said2 and we love ,him because ,he first loved us4 ,oh1 ,mrs4 ,stanley1 thank you so much6 ,i did not leave the house until ,i had reason to believe that ,alice had indeed taken the ,lord ,jesus as her own ,saviour1 nor until she could tell me with a smile on her thin1 wasted face1 ,i am not utterly miserable now1 for ,i have a sure hope for the future2 ,he has forgiven me4 ,i did not see ,claude once1 though ,i was with ,alice for several hours4 ,perhaps he purposely kept out of sight1 and1 ,i must confess1 ,i was glad1 under the circumstances1 not to meet him1 for ,i felt very angry with him for his heartless neglect of his poor little wife4 ,i returned home by the evening train1 and then came the contrast4 ,my husband was at the station to meet me1 and we drove back together to our happy home4 ,on the way ,i told ,howard of my visit to ,alice1 and of the conversation ,i had had with her4 ,he was very much interested in all ,i told him1 and when we had talked it over for a little time1 he said3 ,i have a letter for you in my pocket1 ,may1 which came by the evening post1 and ,i think ,i have been very good not to open it1 for ,i am most anxious to hear the news contained in it4 ,the letter was from ,evelyn ,trafford4 ,i took it from him and opened it4 ,oh1 ,howard1 ,i exclaimed1 as ,i glanced at the contents1 ,i am so very glad6 ,yes1 and so am ,i1 he said2 ,i know what it is about4 ,there was a letter for me from ,charlie by the same post4 ,he has been staying at ,alliston ,hall for a week1 and it seems to be quite settled now4 ,how nice it will be for you to have your friend ,evelyn so near4 ,carrington ,hall is only five miles from us2 you will be able to meet as often as you like4 ,evelyn is so very happy1 ,i said1 as ,i handed him the letter1 and she seems to have quite forgotten that she said she would never marry any one who squinted2 ,i have no doubt now that she would agree with me1 that in spite of it1 ,lord ,moreton is a very handsome man4 ,i am very glad it is so nicely arranged1 said my husband4 ,more than one good thing came out of our journey to ,palestine1 little wife6 ,do you remember that it was my conversation with ,miss ,trafford near the ,damascus ,gate which first made her look more favourably upon poor ,charlie--the 'stupid1 uninteresting man6' she called him then4 ,as he said this we turned in at the gate1 and drove through the shrubbery to the house4 ,how beautiful everything looked that evening6 ,the rhododendrons1 the lilacs1 and the laburnums were in bloom1 and the evening sunshine was streaming across the distant hills1 and casting a golden light over everything4 ,oh1 what a contrast1 ,howard6 ,i said1 as we stood together at the window that evening4 ,a contrast to what8 he asked4 ,a contrast to the wretched lodging ,i have been in to-day4 ,i always felt that mine was the happiest home in the world1 but ,i feel it more than ever to-night4 ,are you really happy1 little wife8 he asked4 ,happy6 ,oh1 ,howard1 ,i answered1 what a question6 ,you know1 surely1 you know how very happy ,i am6 ,you are not more happy than ,i am1 ,may1 he said2 ,i little thought when ,i met you first on the roof1 at ,brindisi1 what bright days were in store for me6 ,oh1 ,howard1 ,i said1 after a pause1 just think if that wretched lodging that ,i saw to-day had been my home6 ,and it might have been6 ,he knew what ,i meant1 for ,i had told him of ,claude's letter4 ,yes1 he said1 it might have been1 if you had not resisted the temptation put before you that day1 and gained a victory over yourself4 ,but you are not sorry now1 ,may1 that you decided as you did2 you think you were right1 do you8 ,right6 ,oh1 ,howard1 ,i said1 ,i feel as if ,i could never be thankful enough that ,i chose as ,i did2 ,god has been very good to me6 ,yes1 little wife1 he said1 the ,lord never overlooks or forgets any self-denial for ,his name's sake4 ,you chose ,his love1 ,his favour1 ,his smile1 in preference to an earthly affection2 you chose to forsake an earthly love for ,his sake1 and ,he did not forget it4 ,i am sure those words of our ,lord's are true1 ,may3 ',there is no man that hath left house1 or brethren1 or sisters1 or father1 or mother1 or wife1 or children1 or lands' 7in short1 anything dear to his heart71 for ,my sake1 but he shall receive an hundredfold in this present time2' or1 as another ,gospel has it1 'manifold more in this present time4' ,i have indeed received the hundredfold1 ,howard1 ,i said4 ,and then that is not the end1 he said1 for1 after all1 the second part of the promise makes the first part sink into insignificance4 ',and1 in the world to come1 life everlasting4' ,yes1 ,may1 there is a brighter home in prospect4 ,earth's homes1 the dearest and best1 are only for a time--,heaven's homes are for an eternity4 ,i came across a verse to-day1 which ,i thought very beautiful3 ',what joys are lost1 what promises are given1 ,as through this death-struck world we roam ,awhile we think that ,home is ,heaven1 ,at last we find that ,,heaven is ,,home4' ,and we shall be together there1 ,howard1 ,i said1 with no fear of separation4 ,yes1 thank ,god6 he answered4 ,this bright little earthly home is to us a faint foreshadowing of our heavenly home1 where we shall be together with the ,lord4 ,yes1 ,i said1 a happy1 earthly home now1 in this present time1 and a brighter1 more glorious home awaiting me above1 to be mine throughout eternity4 ,was ,i not indeed right in my choice8 ---------------------------------------- -------------------------------------- ,pardon ,sons1 ,printers1 ,paternoster ,row1 and ,wine ,office ,court1 ,e4,c4