,,the ,,works ,,of ,,anatole ,,france   
,,in ,,an ,,english ,,translation       
,,edited ,,by ,,frederic ,,chapman      
,,the ,,opinions ,,of    ,j,r,,me       
,,coignard      ,illustration           
,,the ,,opinions ,,of    ,j,r,,me       
,,coignard    ,,by ,,anatole ,,france   
,a ,,translation ,,by    ,,mrs4         
,,wilfrid ,,jackson      ,illustration  
,,london3 ,,john ,,lane1 ,,the ,,bodley 
,,head    ,,new ,,york3 ,,john ,,lane   
,,company    ,,toronto3 ,,bell ,,and    
,,cockburn3 ,,mcmxiii            ,,the  
,,ballantyne ,,press ,,tavistock        
,,street ,,covent ,,garden ,,london     
,,contents                              
,,page            ,,the ,,abb ,j,r,,me  
,,coignard             #a               
,,the ,,opinions ,,of ,j,r,,me          
,,coignard     #bi         ,i4          
,,ministers ,,of ,,state                
#ca        ,,ii4 ,,saint ,,abraham      
#ci       ,,iii4 ,,ministers ,,of       
,,state 7concluded7    #ec        ,,iv4 
,,the ,,affair ,,of ,,the ,,mississippi 

#fa         ,v4 ,,easter-,,eggs         
#fi        ,,vi4 ,,the ,,new ,,ministry 
#ha       ,,vii4 ,,the ,,new ,,ministry 
7concluded7      #hh      ,,viii4 ,,the 
,,city ,,magistrates                #ih 
,,ix4 ,,science                         
#ajg         ,x4 ,,the ,,army           
#aae        ,,xi4 ,,the ,,army          
7continued7             #abd            
,,xii4 ,,the ,,army 7concluded7         
#acj      ,,xiii4 ,,academies           
#acg       ,,xiv4 ,,sedition-,,mongers  
#adh        ,,xv4 ,,revolutionary       
,,measures             #aef       ,,xvi4
 ,,history                              
#aff      ,,xvii4 ,,monsieur ,,nicod,,me
                  #agd     ,,xviii4     
,,justice                               
#ahc       ,,xix4 ,,the ,,beadle',s     
,,story                 #ahg            
,,xx4 ,,justice 7continued7             
#aie       ,,xxi4 ,,justice 7continued7 
#bjh      ,,xxii4 ,,justice 7concluded7 
#bac                                    
,,the ,,abb ,j,r,,me                    

,,coignard          ,,to ,,octave       
,,mirbeau      ,there is no need for me 
to tell over again here the life of     
,monsieur  l',abb ,jrme ,coignard1      
professor of oratory at the college of  
,beauvais1 librarian to ,monseigneur de 
,sez1 ,sagiensis episcopi               
bibliothecarius solertissimus1 as his   
epitaph has it1 later on  secretary at  
the ,cemetery of the ,holy ,innocents1  
and finally curator  of that queen of   
libraries 7the ,astaracian71 whose loss 
is for ever to  be deplored4 ,he        
perished1 assassinated1 on the ,lyons   
road1 by a ,jew  cabalist of the name of
 ,mosade 7,juda manu nefandissima71     
leaving  several incomplete works1 and  
the memory of his admirable familiar    
conversation4 ,all the circumstances of 
his odd existence and tragic  end have  
been reported by his disciple ,jacques  
,mentrier1 called  ,tournebroche1 or    
,turnspit1 because he was the son of a  
cook in the ,rue  ,st4 ,jacques4 ,this  
,tournebroche professed for him whom it 

was his habit  to speak of as his good  
master1 a lively and tender admiration4 
8,his  was the kindliest soul10 said he1
 8that ever blossomed on this earth40   
,modestly and faithfully he edited the  
memoirs of the ,abb1 who lives  again in
 the work as ,socrates does in the      
,memorabilia of ,xenophon4              
,observant1 exact1 and charitable1 he   
drew a portrait full of life and        
instinct with a loving faithfulness4 ,it
 is a work that makes one think  of     
those portraits of ,erasmus by ,holbein 
that one sees in the ,louvre1  at ,bale1
 or at ,hampton ,court1 the delicacy of 
which never wearies the  sense of       
appreciation4 ,in short1 he left us a   
masterpiece4 ,it will  cause surprise no
 doubt1 that he was not careful to have 
it printed4  ,moreover1 he could have   
published it himself1 for he set up as a
  bookseller in the ,rue ,st4 ,jacques  
at the sign of the ,image de ,sainte    
,catherine1 where he succeeded ,blaizot4
    ,perhaps1 living as he did among    

books1 he feared to add1 if it were but 
a few leaves1 to the horrible hoard of  
blackened paper that mildews  unseen on 
the book-stalls4 ,we may share his      
disgust when we pass the  twopenny box  
on the quays1 where the sun and the rain
 slowly consume  pages written for      
immortality4 ,like those pathetic       
death's-heads that  ,bossuet sent to the
 ,abbot of la ,trappe to divert his     
solitude1 here  are subjects for        
reflection fitted to make the man of    
letters conceive  the vanity of writing4
 ,i may say1 for my part1 that between  
the ,pont  ,royal and the ,pont ,neuf1  
,i have felt that vanity to the full4 ,i
 should  incline to believe that ,abb   
,coignard's pupil never printed his work
  because1 formed by so good a master1  
he judged sanely of literary  glory1 and
 esteemed it at its worth1 and that is  
exactly nothing4 ,he  knew it for       
uncertain1 capricious1 subject to every 
vicissitude1 and  dependent on          
circumstances themselves petty and      

wretched4 ,seeing his  contemporaries1  
ignorant1 abusive1 and mediocre1 he saw 
no reason to  hope that their posterity 
would suddenly become learned1 balanced1
  and reliable4 ,he merely divined that 
the ,future1 a stranger to our          
quarrels1 would accord indifference in  
default of justice4 ,we are  well-nigh  
assured that1 great and small1 the      
,future will unite us in  oblivion and  
cover us in a peaceful uniformity of    
silence4 ,but if1 by  some extraordinary
 chance1 that hope deceives us1 if      
future generations  keep some memory of 
our name and writings1 we can foresee   
that they  will only make acquaintance  
with our thoughts by the ingenious      
labour  of gloss and super-gloss which  
alone perpetuates works of genius       
through the ages4 ,the long life of a   
masterpiece is assured only at  the     
price of quite pitiable intellectual    
hazards1 in which the gabble  of pedants
 reinforces the ingenious word-twisting 
of sthetic souls4  ,i am not afraid to  

say that1 at the present day1 we do not 
understand  a single line of the ,iliad1
 of the ,divine ,comedy1 in the sense   
primitively attaching to it4 ,to live is
 to change1 and the posthumous  life of 
our written-down thoughts is not free   
from the rule3 they only  continue to   
exist on condition that they become more
 and more different  from what they were
 when they issued from our minds4       
,whatsoever in  future may be admired in
 us1 will have become altogether alien  
from us4    ,possibly ,jacques          
,tournebroche1 whose simplicity we know1
 did not put  himself all these         
questions in reference to the little    
book under his  hand4 ,it would be an   
insult to think that he had an          
exaggerated opinion  of himself4    ,i  
think ,i know him4 ,i have meditated    
over his book4 ,everything he  says1 and
 everything he doesn't say1 betrays an  
exquisite modesty of  soul4 ,if1        
however1 he was not without knowledge of
 his talent1 he knew  also that it is   

precisely talent that is least          
pardonable4 ,in people  of note we      
tolerate easily bareness of soul and    
falseheartedness4  ,we are quite content
 that they should be bad or cowardly1   
and their  good-luck even does not raise
 over much envy so long as it is not    
merited4 ,mediocrities are at once      
raised up1 and carried along1 by  the   
surrounding nobodies who are honoured in
 them4 ,the success of a  commonplace   
person disturbs nobody4 ,rather1 it     
secretly flatters the  mob4 ,but there  
is an insolence of talent which is      
expiated by dumb  hatred1 and calumnies 
not loud but deep4 ,if ,jacques         
,tournebroche  consciously renounced the
 painful honour of irritating the       
foolish and  the wicked by eloquent     
writing1 one can only admire his good   
sense1 and  hold him the worthy scholar 
of a master who knew mankind4 ,however  
it  may be1 the manuscript of ,jacques  
,tournebroche1 being left unpublished1  
was lost for more than a century4    ,i 

had the extraordinary good luck to find 
it again at a general  broker's on the  
,boulevard ,montparnasse1 who spreads   
behind the dirtied  panes of his shop1  
croix du ,lis1 mdailles de              
,sainte-,hlne1 and  decorations de      
,juillet1 without a suspicion that he is
 furnishing the  generations a          
melancholy lesson on peacemaking4 ,this 
manuscript was  published under my care 
in #ahic1 under the title3 ,la          
,rtisserie de la  ,reine ,pdauque4 ,i   
refer the reader to it4 ,he will find   
there more  novelties than he looks for 
ordinarily in an old book4 ,but it is   
not  with that book that we have to do  
here4    ,jacques ,tournebroche was not 
content to make known the doings and    
sayings of his master in a connected    
recital4 ,he was careful to collect     
much discourse and conversation of      
,monsieur l',abb ,coignard that had  not
 found place in the memoirs 7for that is
 the name we must give to  ,la          
,rtisserie de la ,reine ,pdauque7 and he

 made a little note-book of  it1 which  
has fallen into my hands along with his 
other papers4    ,it is the note-book   
that ,i print now under the title3 ,the 
,opinions of  ,the ,abb ,jrme ,coignard4
 ,the kind and gracious welcome the     
public  gave the preceding work by      
,jacques ,tournebroche1 encourages me to
  commence forthwith these dialogues1 in
 which we meet once more the  former    
librarian of ,monseigneur de ,sez with  
his indulgent wisdom1 and  that kind of 
generous scepticism to which his        
considerations tend1  so mingled with   
contempt and kindliness for man4 ,i have
 no notion of  taking responsibility for
 the ideas expressed by this philosopher
 on  divers questions of politics and   
morality4 ,my duties1 as editor1 merely 
bind me to present my author's thought  
in the most favourable light4  ,his     
unfettered understanding trampled vulgar
 beliefs underfoot1 and did  not side   
uncritically with popular opinion1      
except in matters touching  the         

,catholic faith1 wherein he was         
immovable4 ,in anything else he  did not
 fear to oppose his age4 ,were it only  
for that he would merit  esteem4 ,we owe
 him the gratitude due to minds that    
have fought against  prejudices4 ,but it
 is easier to praise than to imitate    
them4 ,prejudices  melt away and grow   
unceasingly with the eternal mobility of
 the clouds4  ,they are by nature most  
imposing1 until they become hateful1 and
 men  are rare who are free from the    
superstition of their period1 and look  
squarely at what the crowd dares not    
face4 ,monsieur l',abb ,coignard was    
independent in a humble walk of life2   
enough1 ,i think to put him far  above a
 ,bossuet1 and above all the great      
people that glitter1 according  to their
 degree1 in the traditional pomp of     
custom and belief4    ,but while we hold
 that ,monsieur l',abb ,coignard lived  
as a free man1  enfranchised from common
 errors1 and that the spectre of common 
passions and fears had no empire over   

him1 we must further observe  that his  
surpassing intelligence had originality 
of outlook on nature  and society1 and  
only wanted1 in order to astonish and   
delight mankind  by some vast and       
beautiful mental engineering feat1 the  
skill or the  will to scatter sophisms1 
like cement1 in the interstices between 
truth  and truth4 ,it is only in that   
way that great systems of philosophy are
  built up and held together by the     
mortar of sophistry4    ,the synthetic  
faculty was wanting in him1 or1 7if you 
like71 the art  and law of symmetry4    
,without it1 he was bound to appear1 as 
in fact he  did1 a kind of wonderful    
compound of ,epicurus and ,st4 ,francis 
of ,assisi4    ,those two1 it seems to  
me1 were the best friends that suffering
  humanity has yet met on its confused  
progress through life4    ,epicurus     
freed the soul from empty fears and     
taught it to proportion  its idea of    
happiness to its miserable nature and   
feeble powers4 ,good  ,st4 ,francis1    

tenderer and more material1 led the way 
to happiness by  interior vision1 and   
would have had souls expand like his1 in
 joy1 in  the depths of an enchanted    
solitude4 ,both were helpful1 one1 to   
destroy  illusions that deceive1 the    
other1 to create illusions from which   
one  does not wake4    ,but it does not 
do to exaggerate4 ,monsieur l',abb      
,coignard was  certainly not the equal1 
in action or in thought1 of the boldest 
of  the sages1 nor of the most ardent of
 the saints4 ,the truths that he        
discovered he could not fling himself   
upon headlong4 ,in his hardiest         
exploration he maintained the pose of a 
peaceful pedestrian4 ,he did  not       
sufficiently except himself from the    
contempt other men inspired  in him4 ,he
 lacked that valuable illusion that     
sustained ,descartes and  ,bacon1 who   
believed in themselves when they        
believed in no one else4  ,he had doubts
 of the witness he bore1 and scattered  
heedlessly the  treasures of his mind4  

,that confidence1 however common in     
thinkers1 was  withheld from him1 the   
confidence in himself as the superior of
 the  greatest wits4 ,it is an          
unpardonable fault1 for glory is only   
given to  those who importune it4 ,in   
,monsieur l',abb ,coignard it was1      
moreover1 a  weakness1 and an           
illogicality4 ,since he pushed          
philosophical audacity  to its farthest 
limits1 he should not have scrupled to  
proclaim himself  the first of men4 ,but
 his heart remained simple and his soul 
pure1  and his poorness of spirit that  
knew not how to rear itself above  the  
world1 did him an irreparable wrong4    
,but need ,i say that ,i love  him      
better as he was8 ,i am not afraid to   
affirm that ,monsieur l',abb  ,coignard1
 philosopher and ,christian1 mingled in 
an incomparable union  the epicurism    
that wards off grief1 and the holy      
simplicity that  conducts to joy4    ,it
 is to be remarked that not only did he 
accept the idea of ,god  as furnished   

him by the ,catholic faith1 but further1
 that he tried  to uphold it against    
argument of the rationalistic kind4 ,he 
never  imitated that practical address  
of professed ,deists1 who make a moral1 
philanthropical and prudish ,god for    
their own use1 with whom they enjoy  the
 satisfaction of a perfect              
understanding4 ,the strict relations    
they establish with ,him give much      
authority to their writings1 and  much  
consideration to their persons1 before  
the public4 ,and this ,god1  akin to the
 government1 temperate1 weighty1 exempt 
from fanaticism1  and who has ,his      
following1 is a recommendation to them  
in salons1  academies1 and public       
meetings4 ,monsieur l',abb ,coignard did
 not figure  the ,eternal to himself in 
so profitable a light4 ,but considering 
the  impossibility of conceiving of the 
world otherwise than under the  category
 of intelligent beings1 and that the    
cosmos must be held to be  intelligible1
 even if but to demonstrate its         

absurdity1 he referred  the cause to an 
intelligence he called ,god1 leaving the
 term in its  infinite vagueness1       
relying for the rest on theology1 which 
as we know1  treats of the unknowable   
with minutest accuracy4    ,this        
reserve1 which marks the limits of his  
understanding1 was  fortunate if1 as ,i 
believe1 it deprived him of the         
temptation to  nibble at some appetising
 system of philosophy1 and kept him from
  putting his nose into one of those    
mousetraps wherein independent minds    
are in such hurry to get caught4 ,at his
 ease in the big old rat-run1  he found 
more than one opening to look out on the
 world and observe  nature4 ,i do not   
share his religious beliefs1 and am of  
opinion that  they deceived him1 as they
 have deceived1 for their good or ill1  
so  many generations of men4 ,but it    
looks as if the old errors were less    
vexatious than the new1 and that1 since 
we are bound to go wrong1 it  were best 
to hold by illusions that have lost     

their sparkle4    ,it is certain1       
though1 that ,abb ,coignard1 in         
accepting ,christian  and ,catholic     
principles1 did not deny himself the    
deduction of some  original conclusions 
therefrom4 ,rooted in orthodoxy1 his    
luxuriant  spirit flourished singularly 
in epicurism and in humility4 ,as ,i    
have  said before he always tried to    
chase away those phantoms of the night1 
those empty fears1 or as he called them1
 those gothic diabolisms1 which  make   
the pious existence of the simple       
bourgeois a kind of sordid and  day-long
 witches' sabbath4 ,theologians have1 in
 our own day1 accused  him of carrying  
hope to excess1 and even beyond bounds4 
,i meet the  reproach once more under   
the hand of an eminent philosopher4#a   
,i do not know if ,monsieur ,coignard   
really reposed an exaggerated trust  in 
divine goodness4 ,but certainly he      
conceived the meaning of grace in  a    
large and natural sense1 and the world1 
in his eyes1 less resembled  the deserts

 of the ,thebaid than the garden of     
,epicurus4 ,he took his  way through it 
with that daring ingenuousness which is 
the most marked  trait in his character1
 and the foundation of his teaching4    
,never did a mind show itself at once so
 bold and so pacificatory1 nor  soften  
its disdain with greater gentleness4    
,his rule conjoined the  freedom of the 
cynics and the innocence of the         
primitive community  of the             
,portiuncula4 ,tenderly1 he despised    
men4 ,he tried to show them  that having
 no measure of greatness about them save
 their capacity for  sorrow1 they could 
lay up for themselves nothing useful or 
beautiful  save pity2 that fit only for 
desire or suffering1 they should        
practise  themselves in the indulgent   
and the pleasure-giving virtues4 ,he    
came to  consider pride as the source of
 greatest evil1 and the one vice against
  nature4    ,it seems likely indeed1   
that men make themselves miserable by   
the  exaggerated opinion they have of   

themselves and their kind1 and that if  
they could form a humbler and truer     
notion of human nature they might  be   
kinder to others and kinder to          
themselves4    ,his sympathetic regard1 
then1 urged him to humiliate his        
fellows1 in  their opinions1 their      
knowledge1 their philosophy1 and        
institutions4  ,he put his heart into   
showing them that their weak and silly  
nature has  never constructed nor       
imagined anything worth the trouble of  
attacking  and defending very briskly1  
and that if they knew the crudity and   
weakness of their greatest works1 such  
as their laws and their empires1  they  
would only fight in fun or in play1 like
 children building  sandcastles by the  
sea4    ,we must not be astonished or   
scandalised then1 that he depreciated   
every conception which makes for the    
honour and glory of mankind1 at  the    
expense of their peace4 ,the majesty of 
the law did not impose on  his          
clear-sighted intellect1 and he deplored

 the fact that the wretched  were       
subjected to so many restraints1 of     
which in most cases1 they  could not    
discover the origin or the meaning4 ,all
 principles appeared  equally           
contestable to him4 ,he had at last come
 to believe that members  of a state    
would never condemn so many of their    
kind to infamy1 if  it were not to      
taste1 by contrast1 the pleasure of     
respectability4  ,such a view made him  
prefer bad company to good1 after the   
example of  ,him who lived among        
publicans and sinners4 ,but he kept his 
purity of  heart1 his gift of sympathy1 
and the treasure of his pity4 ,i shall  
not  speak here of his actions1 which   
are recounted in ,la ,rtisserie de  la  
,reine ,pdauque4 ,i have no means of    
knowing whether1 as was said of  ,madame
 de ,mouchy1 he was more worthy than his
 life4 ,our actions are  not altogether 
our own2 they depend less on us than on 
fortune4 ,they  come to us from all     
sides4 ,we do not always merit them4    

,our inviolable  mind is all we have of 
our very own4 ,thence the vanity of the 
world's  judgments4 ,nevertheless1 ,i   
can say with pleasure that our leading  
lights have found ,monsieur ,coignard an
 amiable and pleasing person4  ,indeed  
one must be a ,pharisee not to see in   
him a beautiful creation  of ,god4 ,so  
much said ,i hasten to return to his    
teachings1 which alone  matter here4    
,what he had least of was the bump of   
veneration4 ,nature had denied it  him1 
and he took no steps to acquire it4 ,he 
feared lest1 in exalting  some1 he      
should cast down others1 and his        
universal charity was  extended equally 
to the humble and the proud4 ,it bore   
itself to the  victims with a greater   
solicitude1 but the executioners        
themselves  seemed to him too wretched  
to be worthy of hate4 ,he wished them no
  harm1 and merely pitied them that they
 were wicked4    ,he had no belief that 
reprisals1 whether spontaneous1 or      
according  to law1 did anything but add 

ill to ill4 ,he viewed with complacence 
neither the vengeance that is private   
and much to the point1 nor the  majestic
 cruelty of the law1 and if he happened 
to smile when the  police were being    
drubbed1 it was simply the result of his
 being but  flesh and blood1 and        
naturally a good fellow4    ,he had1 in 
fact1 formed a very simple and sensible 
notion of evil4  ,he ascribed it        
altogether to man's functions and       
natural feelings1  without mixing up    
with it all the prejudices that take on 
an artificial  consistency in the codes4
 ,i have said that he formed no system1 
being  little inclined to resolve his   
difficulties by sophistry4 ,it is       
evident  that1 at the outset1 a         
difficulty stopped him short in his     
meditations  on the means of            
establishing happiness or even peace on 
earth4 ,he was  convinced that man is by
 nature a vicious animal1 and that      
communities  are not abominable simply  
because he uses all his wits to shape   

them4  ,consequently he looked for no   
benefit from a return to nature4 ,i     
doubt  if he would have changed his     
opinion if he had lived to read ,emile4 
,when he died1 ,jean-,jacques had not   
yet stirred the world by eloquence  of  
the sincerest feeling joined to logic or
 the falsest4 ,he was still  but a      
little vagabond1 and unhappily for him1 
found other ,abbs than  ,monsieur ,jrme 
,coignard on the benches of ,lyons'     
deserted walks4 ,we  may regret that    
,monsieur ,coignard1 who knew all sorts 
of people1 never  met by chance ,madame 
de ,warens' young friend4 ,but it could 
only have  been an amusing incident1 a  
romantic scene4 ,jean-,jacques would not
 have  found the wisdom of our          
disillusioned philosopher much to his   
taste4  ,nothing could be less like the 
philosophy of ,rousseau than that of    
,monsieur l',abb ,coignard4 ,the latter 
is marked with a kindly irony4  ,it is  
easy and indulgent4 ,founded on human   
infirmity it is solid at  bottom4 ,the  

other is lacking in its gay scepticism  
and fleeting smile4    ,taking its seat 
on an imaginary base1 that of the       
original virtue of  our kind1 it finds  
itself in an awkward position1 the      
comicality of  which is not quite       
evident to itself4 ,it is the doctrine  
for men who  have never laughed4 ,its   
embarrassment is seen in its bad humour4
 ,it is  ungracious4 ,there would be    
nothing in that but it reinstals man    
among  the monkeys1 and then gets       
unreasonably angry when the monkey is   
not  virtuous4 ,in which it is absurd   
and cruel4 ,this was well exemplified   
when statesmen wished to apply the      
teachings of the ,contrat ,social to    
the best of ,republics4    ,robespierre 
venerated the memory of ,rousseau4 ,he  
would have held  ,monsieur l',abb       
,coignard for a bad man4 ,i would not   
make the remark  if ,robespierre had    
been a monster4 ,but1 for the learned1  
there are no  monsters4 ,robespierre was
 an optimist1 who believed in good4     

,statesmen  of this turn do all the evil
 possible4 ,if one meddles in the       
government  of mankind one must never   
lose sight of the fact that they are    
monkeys1  and mischievous4 ,only thus   
can you have a humane and kindly polity4
  ,the folly of the ,revolution was to  
wish to establish virtue on earth4      
,when one would make men good and wise1 
free1 moderate1 and liberal1 one  is led
 to the fatal desire of killing them    
all4 ,robespierre believed  in virtue   
and he brought about the ,terror4 ,marat
 believed in justice2  he demanded two  
hundred thousand heads4 ,monsieur l',abb
 ,coignard is  perhaps1 of all the minds
 of the eighteenth century1 the one     
whose  principles were most opposed to  
the principles of the ,revolution4 ,he  
would not have signed a line of the     
,declaration of the ,rights of ,man1    
because of the excessive and unfair     
separation it establishes between  man  
and the gorilla4    ,last week ,i had a 
visit from an anarchist-comrade who     

honours me with  his friendship1 and    
whom ,i like1 because having taken no   
part as yet  in the government of his   
country1 he has kept much of his        
innocence4  ,he wants to blow up        
everything merely because he believes   
men to be  naturally good and virtuous4 
,he thinks that1 deprived of their      
goods1  and delivered from laws1 they   
would shed their egoism and wickedness4 
,the tenderest optimism has led him to  
the most savage ferocity4 ,his  only    
misfortune and his only crime1 is that  
he has brought an elysian  soul1 made   
for the golden age1 into the business of
 a cook1 to which he  is condemned4 ,he 
is a ,jean-,jacques1 very simple1 and   
very honest1 who  has never let himself 
be worried by the sight of a ,madame    
d',houdetot1  nor softened by the       
refined generosity of a ,marchal de     
,luxembourg4 ,his  candour leaves him at
 the mercy of his logic1 and renders him
 terrible4  ,he reasons better than a   
minister1 but he starts from an absurd  

principle4 ,he does not believe in      
original sin1 and yet1 for all that1  it
 is a dogma of such solid and stable    
truth that we have been able to  build  
on it everything we have chosen to4     
,why were you not with him in my study1 
,monsieur l',abb ,coignard1 to  make him
 feel the falsity of his doctrine8 ,you 
would not have talked  to this generous 
,utopian of the benefits of civilization
 and of state  interests4 ,you knew     
these to be pleasantries1 indecent to   
vent on the  unfortunate4 ,you knew that
 public order is but public violence1   
and  that each man can judge of the     
interest he has in it4 ,but you would   
have drawn a true and terrible picture  
of that state of nature he  wishes to   
re-establish2 you would have shown him  
in the idyll of his  dreams1 an infinity
 of bloody and domestic tragedies1 and  
in his too  happy anarchy the beginning 
of a dreadful tyranny4    ,and that     
leads me to define the attitude that    
,monsieur l',abb ,coignard  at the      

,petit ,bacchus1 took in regard to      
governments and peoples4 ,he  respected 
neither the supports of society nor the 
vault of ,empire4 ,he  held as subject  
to doubt and as matter for dispute the  
very virtue  of the ,holy ,ampulla1 then
 a principle in the constitution such as
  universal suffrage is to-day4 ,such a 
liberty which would then have           
scandalised every ,frenchman shocks us  
no longer4    ,but it would be to       
misunderstand our philosopher to make   
excuses for  the liveliness of his      
criticisms on the old order of things4  
,monsieur l',abb ,coignard made no great
 difference between governments  called 
absolute1 and those we call free1 and we
 may well suppose that  had he lived in 
our day he would still have kept a      
strong dose of that  generous discontent
 of which his heart was full4    ,since 
he dealt in principles1 no doubt he     
would have discovered the  vanity of    
ours4 ,i judge by a remark of his which 
has come down to us4  8,in a democracy10

 said ,monsieur l',abb ,coignard1 8a    
people is subjected  to its own will--a 
very hard slavery4 ,in fact1 it has as  
little  knowledge of its own will1 and  
is as opposed to it1 as it could be to  
that of a prince4 ,for the universal    
will is to be seen scarcely or not  at  
all in the individual1 who nevertheless 
suffers the constraint of  all4 ,and    
universal suffrage is a hoax1 like the  
dove that brought the  ,sacred ,chrism  
in its beak4 ,popular government1 like  
monarchy1 rests  on fiction and lives by
 expedient4 ,it suffices that the       
fiction be  accepted1 and the expedient 
happy40    ,this maxim is enough to make
 us believe that he would have preserved
  in our day the proud and smiling      
freedom which was the ornament of his   
mind in the age of kings4 ,still1 he was
 never a revolutionary4 ,he had  too few
 illusions for that1 and thought that   
governments should not be  destroyed    
otherwise than by the blind and         
inexorable forces1 slow and             

irresistible1 that carry away all       
things4    ,he held that the one people 
could not be governed two ways at the   
same time1 for this reason1 that1       
nations being indeed bodies1 their      
functions depend on the structure of    
their parts1 and the condition of  their
 organs2 that is to say1 of the land and
 the people1 and not of  the ruling     
powers1 who must be adjusted to a nation
 as a man's clothes  are to his body4   
8,the misfortune is10 added he1 8that   
the people are suited by them like  a   
,harlequin or a ,jack-in-the-green4     
,their coat is ever too loose or  too   
tight1 ill-fitting1 ridiculous1 grubby1 
covered with stains1 and  crawling with 
vermin4 ,we may mend things by shaking  
it out1 cautiously1  putting in a stitch
 here1 and when necessary1 applying the 
scissors  there1 with discretion1 so as 
to avoid being at the expense of another
  equally bad1 but not clinging too     
obstinately to the old garment when  the
 body has changed its shape by growth40 

,one sees from this that ,monsieur      
l',abb ,coignard1 was a friend to  order
 and progress1 and altogether was not a 
bad citizen4 ,he incited  no man to     
revolt1 and had rather that instituted  
things were worn and  ground-down by    
incessant friction1 than overturned and 
broken by any  great strokes4 ,he was   
for ever pointing out to his disciples  
that  the harshest laws grew wonderfully
 smoother in practice1 and that the     
clemency of time is surer than that of  
man4 ,as for seeing the sprawling       
,corpus of the law one day re-shaped1 he
 neither hoped it nor wished  for it2   
laying no store by the benefits of hasty
 legislation4 ,jacques  ,tournebroche   
asked him at times whether he were not  
afraid that his  critical philosophy1 as
 exercised on institutions he himself   
judged  necessary1 might not have the   
inopportune effect of toppling down what
  he would wish preserved4    8,why1 oh 
best of masters10 said his faithful     
disciple1 8why reduce to  dust the      

foundations of all right1 of justice1   
and law1 and generally  of all civil and
 military rule1 since you acknowledge   
the necessity of  right1 justice1       
armies1 magistrates and                 
drill-sergeants80    8,my son10 replied 
,monsieur l',abb ,coignard1 8,i have    
ever remarked that  men's prejudices are
 the source of their ills1 just as      
spiders and  scorpions issue from the   
gloom of cellars and the damp of        
back-gardens4  ,it is just as well to   
pass the ,turk's head or the broom at   
random now  and then in these dark      
corners4 ,it is not a bad thing even to 
give  a touch of the pick here and there
 on the walls of the cellar and  garden4
 ,it scares the vermin and prepares the 
way for the ruin that  must come40      
8,i agree willingly10 replied the mild  
,tournebroche2 8but when you have       
destroyed every principle1 my master1   
what will be left80    ,and his master  
replied3 8,after the destruction of     
every false principle  society will     

still cohere1 because it is founded on  
necessity1 whose  laws1 older than      
,saturn1 will still prevail when        
,prometheus shall have  dethroned       
,jupiter40    ,prometheus has dethroned 
,jupiter more than once since the time  
when  ,abb ,coignard spoke these words1 
and the prophecies of the sage have     
been so literally verified that at the  
present day one feels doubts1  so much  
does the new resemble the old order1    
whether the power does  not still rest  
in ancient ,jove4 ,there are those who  
deny the coming  of the ,titan4 ,there  
is no sign on his breast1 they say1 of  
the wound  whence the eagle1 the        
creature of injustice1 tore out his     
heart1 the  wound that should bleed for 
ever4 ,he knows nothing of the griefs   
and  insurgence of the exile4 ,this is  
not the workaday divinity promised1  and
 expected by us4 ,this is the full-fed  
,jove from the hoary and  laughable     
,olympus4 ,when shall he appear again1  
the strong friend of  men1 the          

fire-kindler1 the ,titan still nailed to
 his crag8 ,a terrible  noise from out  
the mountains makes known that he is    
lifting his  lacerated shoulders from   
off the iniquitous rock1 and we can     
feel1  flaming on us1 his distant       
breath4    ,a stranger to business1     
,monsieur ,coignard inclined to pure    
speculation  and dealt readily in       
general ideas4 ,this disposition of his1
 which  may have damaged him in the eyes
 of his contemporaries1 gives his       
reflections some worth and usefulness   
after a century and a half4 ,we  can    
there learn to know the manners of our  
own day and disentangle what  there is  
of evil in them4    ,injustice1         
stupidity1 and cruelty1 do not strike us
 when they are  the common lot4 ,we see 
them in our ancestors but not in        
ourselves4  ,still1 since there is no   
past epoch whatever1 when mankind does  
not  seem absurd to us1 savage and      
unjust1 it would be a miracle if our age
  had1 by some privilege1 cast away     

every shred of folly1 malice1 and       
savagery4 ,the opinions of ,monsieur    
l',abb ,coignard would help us to  make 
our examination of conscience1 if we    
were not like those idols  which have   
eyes and see not1 and ears and hear not4
 ,with a little good  faith and         
impartiality we should soon see that our
 legal codes are  still but a hotbed of 
injustice1 that we preserve in our      
manners the  inherited hardness of      
avarice and pride2 that we value wealth 
alone1  and have no respect for labour4 
,our system of affairs would appear  to 
us what it really is1 a wretched and    
precarious system1 condemned  by        
abstract justice if not by that of man1 
and the ruin of which is  beginning4    
,our rich men would seem to us as       
foolish as cockchafers  continuing to   
eat the leaves of a tree1 while the     
little beetle on  their body devours    
their entrails4 ,no more would we be    
lulled to sleep  by the false speeches  
of our statesmen2 we should conceive a  

positive  pity for our economists       
arguing with one another about the cost 
of the  furniture in a burning house4   
,abb ,coignard's disquisitions reveal to
  us a prophetic disdain of the great   
principles of the ,revolution and of    
the rights of the people1 on which we   
have established these hundred  years1  
with every kind of violence and         
usurpation1 an incoherent  succession of
 insurrectionary governments1           
themselves1 innocent of  irony1         
condemning insurrection4 ,if we could   
begin to smile a little  at follies1    
which once appeared majestic and at     
times were stained  with blood2 if we   
could perceive that our modern          
prejudices are1 like  the old1 the      
outcome of something1 either ridiculous 
or hateful2 if  we could judge one      
another with a charitable scepticism1#b 
quarrels  would be less sharp1 in the   
fairest country in the world1 and       
,monsieur  l',abb ,coignard1 for one1   
would have laboured for the universal   

good4                                   
,,anatole ,,france      ,,footnotes3    
#a 7,monsieur ,jean ,lacoste wrote in   
the ,gazette de ,france of ,may #bj1    
#ahic73 ,monsieur l',abb ,jrme ,coignard
 is a priest full of knowledge1         
humility and faith4 ,i do not say that  
his conduct was always an honour  to his
 bands or that his robe was unstained4  
,but if he succumbs to  temptation1 if  
the devil has in him an easy prey1 he   
never loses  confidence2 he hopes by    
,god's grace to fall no more1 and to    
reach  the glories of ,paradise4 ,and1  
in fact1 he affords us the spectacle  of
 a very edifying death4 ,thus a grain of
 faith beautifies life1 and  ,christian 
humility well becomes our human         
weakness4    ,monsieur l',abb ,coignard1
 if he be not a saint1 perhaps deserves 
purgatory4 ,but he deserves the fire a  
very long time1 and has run  risk of    
hell4 ,for in his acts of humility1     
though sincere1 there was  scarcely any 
repentance4 ,he reckoned too much on the

 grace of ,god1  and made no effort to  
help the workings of grace4 ,that is why
 he fell  back into his sin4 ,thus faith
 availed him little1 and he was nearly a
  heretic1 for the holy council of      
,trent1 by its canons ,,vi4 and ,,ix4 in
  its sixth session1 declared all those 
anathema who pretend 8that it is  not in
 the power of man to give up his evil   
ways0 and who have such  reliance on    
faith that they think faith alone can   
save them 8without  any motion of the   
will40 ,thus the divine mercy extended  
to ,abb  ,coignard is truly miraculous  
and beyond ordinary channels4    #b     
,this has been very favourably received1
 ,monsieur ,hugues ,rebell  having      
admitted that there is such a thing as a
 charitable scepticism4  ,referring1    
not1 it is true1 to the opinions of     
,monsieur ,coignard1 but  to some       
writings drawn from the same source1 he 
has made some remarks  of which ,i may  
avail myself here3    8,an interesting  
vein of thought might be followed up    

after reading  this work1 furnishing1 as
 it does1 some valuable teaching3 ,i may
 be  permitted some reflections on it3  
8#a4 ,the organisation of a particular  
society does not depend on  individual  
wills1 but on the compulsion of nature1 
or to put it more  simply1 on the       
unanimity of the more intelligent beings
 of which that  society is composed who 
inevitably choose the most agreeable    
rule of  life3    8#b4 ,mankind at any  
one period1 having the same organic     
constitution  and passions as mankind at
 any other period1 can never have       
entirely  differing institutions4 ,it   
results from this that a political      
revolution is no more than a rotatory   
movement1 round the ancient ways1  which
 ends where it began2 it is just a      
disease1 an interruption in  human      
development4 ,and the result of this law
 is that all societies  live and die in 
the same way40                          
,,hugues ,,rebell in l',ermitage1 ,april
 #ahic4    ,monsieur l',abb ,coignard   

simply says that a people is not        
susceptible  to more than one form of   
government at the same period4          
,,the ,,opinions ,,of    ,j,r,,me       
,,coignard    ,,collected ,,by          
,,jacques ,,tournebroche    ,,and       
,,published ,,by    ,,anatole ,,france  
,,the ,,opinions ,,of    ,j,r,,me       
,,coignard          ,i    ,,ministers   
,,of ,,state      ,this afternoon1 ,abb 
,jrme ,coignard visited1 as he was in   
the habit of  doing1 ,monsieur ,blaizot1
 the bookseller in the ,rue             
,saint-,jacques1 at  the sign of the    
,image de ,sainte ,catherine4           
,perceiving the works of ,jean ,racine  
on the shelves he set about  carelessly 
turning over the leaves of one of the   
volumes4    8,this poet10 he informed   
us1 8was not lacking in genius1 and had 
he  but risen to the writing of his     
tragedies in ,latin verse he would be   
worthy of praise1 more especially in the
 case of his ,athalie1 where  he shows  
that he understood politics well enough4

 ,in comparison with  him ,corneille is 
but an empty ranter4 ,this tragedy of   
the accession  of ,joas shows us some of
 the forces whose play raises empires or
  casts them down4 ,and one must        
perforce believe that ,monsieur ,racine 
possessed that spirit of finesse which  
we should hold of more account  than all
 the sublimities of poetry and          
eloquence1 which in reality  are but    
rhetorical tricks serving for the       
amusement of the vulgar4  ,to raise     
mankind to the sublime belongs to an    
inferior order of mind  self-deceived on
 the true nature of ,adam's race1 which 
is altogether  wretched and deserving of
 pity4 ,i refrain from calling man a    
ridiculous  animal for the sole         
consideration that ,jesus ,christ       
ransomed him with  ,his precious blood4 
,the nobility of mankind is based only  
upon this  inconceivable mystery1 and of
 themselves human beings1 be they mean  
or  great1 are but savage and disgusting
 beasts40    ,just as my good master    

pronounced these final words ,monsieur  
,roman came  into the shop4    8,stop6  
,monsieur l',abb10 exclaimed this able  
man4 8,you forget that  those disgusting
 and ferocious beasts are1 in ,europe at
 any rate1  subjected to an admirable   
government1 and that states1 such as the
  kingdom of ,france1 and the ,dutch    
,republic1 are far removed from the     
barbarous and rude conditions which     
offend you40    ,my good master replaced
 the volume of ,racine on the shelf1 and
 replied  to ,monsieur ,roman with his  
customary grace3    8,i grant you1      
,monsieur1 that in the writings of the  
philosophers1 who  treat of these       
subjects1 the doings of public men take 
on a certain  symmetry and              
perspicuousness1 and in your treatise on
 ,monarchy ,i  admire the sequence and  
connection of ideas4 ,but it is to you  
alone  that ,i do honour for the fine   
sentiments that you attribute to the    
great politicians of times past and     
present4 ,they had not the wit you      

endow them with1 and these illustrious  
beings1 who appear to have led  the     
world1 were themselves but the plaything
 of nature and chance4 ,they  did not   
rise above human imbecility1 and were in
 fact but brilliant  nobodies40         
,while listening impatiently to this    
speech ,monsieur ,roman had seized  hold
 of an old atlas4 ,he began to turn it  
about with a noise which  mingled with  
the sound of his voice4    8,what       
blindness60 said he4 8,what6 to fail to 
understand the actions  of great        
statesmen1 of great citizens6 ,are you  
so ignorant of history  that it does not
 appear obvious to you that a ,csar1 a  
,richelieu1 a  ,cromwell1 moulded his   
people as a potter his clay8 ,do you not
 see that  a state goes like a watch in 
the hands of a watchmaker80    8,i do   
not see it10 replied my good master1    
8and during the fifty years  of my life 
,i have noticed that this country has   
changed its form of  government several 
times without changing the condition of 

the people1  excepting for an insensible
 progress that does not depend on the   
human  will4 ,from which ,i conclude    
that it is well-nigh immaterial whether 
we  be governed one way or another1 and 
that statesmen are only noteworthy  by  
reason of their coats and their         
coaches40    8,can you talk like this10 
replied ,monsieur ,roman1 8on the day   
following  the death of a statesman who 
took such a prominent part in affairs1  
and  who1 after long disgrace1 dies at  
the moment he has regained power and    
honour8 ,by the tumult round his bier   
you may judge the result of his  work4  
,this result lasts after him40          
8,monsieur10 answered my good master1   
8this statesman was an honest  man1     
laborious and painstaking1 and it might 
be said of him as of  ,monsieur ,vauban1
 that he was too well-bred to affect the
 appearance  of it1 for he never took   
pains to please any one4 ,i would praise
 him  before all1 for having improved   
where others in the same business do    

but deteriorate4 ,he possessed his soul 
and had a glowing sense of the          
greatness of his country4 ,he was       
praiseworthy also1 in that he carried   
easily on those broad shoulders the     
spites of hucksters and rufflers4  ,even
 his enemies accord him a concealed     
approval4 ,but what big things  did he  
ever do1 my good sir1 and why does he   
seem to you anything but  the sport of  
the winds which blew round him8 ,the    
,jesuits whom he drove  away1 have come 
back2 the little religious war he       
kindled to amuse the  people has gone   
out1 leaving next day but the stinking  
shell of a bad  firework4 ,i grant you  
he was clever in diverting opinion1 or  
rather1  in deflecting it4 ,his party1  
which was but a party of opportunism and
  expediency1 did not wait for his death
 to change its name and its chief       
without changing its doctrine4 ,his     
cabal remained faithful to its  chief   
and to itself in continuing to submit to
 circumstances4 ,is there  anything     

astonishingly great about that80        
8,there is certainly something          
admirable10 replied ,monsieur ,roman4   
8,had  he only withdrawn the art of     
government from the clouds of           
metaphysics  to lead it back to reality1
 he should have all my praise4 ,his     
party1  you say1 was one of opportunism 
and expediency4 ,but to excel in human  
affairs what needs one but to seize the 
happy moment and have recourse  to      
utilitarian methods8 ,this is what he   
did1 or1 at least1 this is what  he     
would have done1 if the chicken-hearted 
instability of his friends  and the     
false effrontery of his foes had left   
him any peace4 ,but he  wore himself out
 in the vain endeavour to placate the   
latter and steady  the former4 ,time and
 men1 those necessary tools1 both were  
wanting to  establish his beneficent    
rule4 ,at least he framed admirable     
plans for  home politics4 ,and you ought
 not to forget that he endowed his      
country  with vast and fertile          

possessions abroad4 ,we owe him all the 
more  gratitude in that he made these   
successful conquests alone and in spite 
of the parliament from which he drew his
 powers40    8,monsieur10 answered my   
good master1 8he showed energy and skill
 in  colonial affairs1 but not perhaps  
much more than a plain man displays  in 
buying a piece of land4 ,and what is not
 to my taste in all these  over-sea     
affairs is the way the ,europeans deal  
with the peoples of  ,africa and        
,america4 ,white men1 when they come to 
grips with black and  yellow races find 
themselves forced to exterminate them4  
,one can only  conquer the savage by a  
higher form of barbarity4 ,here is the  
extreme  to which all foreign           
enterprises tend4 ,i am not denying that
 the  ,spaniards1 the ,dutch1 and the   
,english have drawn profit from them4   
,but1 ordinarily speaking1 they launch  
themselves haphazard1 and quite         
recklessly on these big and cruel       
undertakings4    8,what is the wisdom   

and the will of one man in enterprises  
affecting  commerce1 agriculture1 and   
navigation1 which necessarily depend on 
an immense number of units8 ,the part   
played by a statesman in such  affairs  
is a very small one1 and if it seems    
marked to us it is because  our minds1  
turning to mythology1 too willingly give
 a name and a  personality to all the   
secret workings of nature4    8,what did
 he discover in the matter of           
colonisation that was not  already known
 to the ,phnicians in the time of       
,cadmus80    ,at these words ,monsieur  
,roman let fall his atlas1 which the    
bookseller  quietly picked up4    8,i   
discover to my sorrow1 ,monsieur        
l',abb10 said he1 8that you are  a      
sophist4 ,for that he must be who can   
thus smother the colonial  enterprises  
of the dead and gone minister with      
,cadmus and the  ,phnicians4 ,you are   
unable to deny that these undertakings  
were his  work and you have made this   
pitiable introduction of ,cadmus to set 

us  at loggerheads40    8,monsieur10    
said the ,abb1 8let us leave ,cadmus    
alone if he annoys you4  ,i merely wish 
to say that a statesman plays but a     
small part in his  own works1 and he    
deserves neither the glory nor the shame
 of them4 ,i  mean to say that1 if1 in  
this wretched comedy of life1 princes   
appear  to rule and people to obey1 it  
is but a game1 an empty show2 and that  
really they are1 both one and the other1
 directed by an unseen force40          
,,ii    ,,saint ,,abraham      ,one     
summer night1 while the gnats danced    
round the lamp of the ,petit  ,bacchus1 
,abb ,coignard was taking the air in the
 porch of ,st4  ,benot-le-,btourn4      
,there he was meditating1 as his habit  
was1 when  ,catherine came up and seated
 herself by him on the stone bench4 ,my 
good  master was ever inclined to praise
 ,god in his works4 ,he took pleasure   
in the contemplation of this handsome   
girl1 and as he had an agreeable  and   
graceful wit he held her in pleasant    

talk4 ,he paid tribute not only  to the 
charm of her tongue1 but to that of her 
neck and the rest of her  person1 and to
 the fact that she smiled no less with  
all the dimplement  and lines of her    
pretty body than with lips and cheeks2  
in such sort  that one submitted with   
impatience to drapery disguising the    
rest of  the smile4    8,since we must  
needs all sin in this world and no one1 
without pride1  may believe himself     
infallible1 it is when with you1        
,mademoiselle1  by preference1 if such  
were your pleasure1 that ,i would the   
,divine  ,grace failed me4 ,i should    
gain thereby two valuable advantages1 to
  wit3 firstly1 to sin with rare delight
 and unusual pleasure2 secondly1  to    
find thereafter an excuse in the        
strength of your fascination2  for it is
 doubtless written in the ,judgment     
,books that your charms  are            
irresistible4 ,that should be taken into
 consideration4 ,there are  imprudent   
people who sin with women ugly and      

ill-made4 ,these unhappy  mortals1      
setting about it in this way1 run great 
risk of the loss  of their souls1 for   
they sin for sinning's sake1 and their  
onerous  ill-doing is full of evil      
intent4 ,whereas1 so fair a skin as     
yours1  ,catherine1 is an excuse in the 
eyes of the ,almighty4 ,your charms     
wonderfully alleviate the fault1 which  
becomes pardonable1 being  involuntary4 
,in fact1 to tell you the plain truth1  
,mademoiselle1 when ,i  am near you     
,divine ,grace abandons me at one stroke
 of the wing4 ,at this  moment that ,i  
am talking to you1 it is but as a little
 white spot above  those roofs where1 on
 the tiles1 the cats make love with mad 
cries and  childish lamentation1 the    
while the moon is perched unblushingly  
on a  chimneypot4 ,what ,i see of your  
person1 ,catherine1 appeals to me2 but  
what ,i do not see appeals to me still  
more40    ,at these words she lowered   
her gaze on her lap2 then turned its    
liquid  appeal on the ,abb4 ,and in a   

very sweet voice she said3    8,as you  
wish me well1 ,monsieur ,jrme1 do       
promise to grant me the  favour ,i am   
going to ask you1 and for which ,i shall
 be so grateful40    ,my good master    
promised4 ,who would not have done as   
much in his place8    ,catherine then   
said vivaciously3    8,you know1        
,monsieur l',abb1 that ,abb ,la         
,perruque1 the vicaire of ,st4  ,benot1 
accuses brother ,ange of having stolen  
his donkey1 and he has  carried his     
complaint to the ecclesiastical court4  
,now1 nothing could  be more untrue4    
,the good brother had borrowed the      
donkey to take some  relics to various  
villages4 ,the donkey was lost on the   
way4 ,the relics  were found4 ,that is  
the essential point1 says brother ,ange4
 ,but ,abb ,la  ,perruque reclaims his  
donkey1 and won't listen to anything    
else4 ,he is  going to put the little   
brother in the ,archbishop's prison4    
,you alone  can soften his anger and    
induce him to withdraw his complaint40  

8,but1 ,mademoiselle10 said ,abb        
,coignard1 8,i have neither the power   
nor  the inclination to do so40         
8,oh60 resumed ,catherine1 sliding near 
to him and looking at him with  a great 
pretence of tenderness1 8,i shall be    
very unhappy if ,i cannot  succeed in   
giving you the inclination4 ,whilst as  
to the power1 you  have it1 ,monsieur   
,jrme2 you have it6 ,and nothing would  
be easier for  you than to save the     
little brother4 ,you have only to give  
,monsieur ,la  ,perruque eight sermons  
for ,lent and four for ,advent4 ,you    
write sermons  so well that it must be a
 real pleasure to you to write them4    
,compose  these twelve sermons1         
,monsieur ,jrme2 compose them at once4  
,i will  come and fetch them myself from
 your stall at the ,innocents4 ,monsieur
  ,la ,perruque1 who thinks a great deal
 of your worth and your knowledge1      
reckons that twelve of your sermons are 
as good as a donkey4 ,as soon as  he has
 the dozen he will withdraw his         

complaint4 ,he has said so4 ,what  are  
twelve sermons1 ,monsieur ,jrme8 ,i     
promise to write ,amen at the  foot of  
the last one4 ,i have your promise80 she
 added1 putting her arms  round his     
neck4    8,as for that10 ,monsieur      
,coignard said roughly1 disengaging the 
pretty  hands clasped on his shoulder1  
8,i refuse flatly4 ,promises made to    
pretty girls are but skin deep1 and it  
is no sin to retract them4  ,don't count
 on me1 my beauty1 to drag your bearded 
gallant from the  hands of the          
ecclesiastical court6 ,should ,i write a
 sermon1 or two1  or twelve1 they would 
be directed against the bad monks who   
are the  shame of the ,church1 and are  
as vermin clinging to the robe of ,st4  
,peter4 ,this brother ,ange is a rascal4
 ,he gives good women to touch1 as      
relics1 some old mutton or pork bone    
which he has gnawed himself with        
disgusting greediness4 ,i wager he bore 
on ,monsieur ,la ,perruque's donkey  a  
feather of the ,angel ,gabriel1 a ray   

from the wise men's star1 and  in a     
little phial a trifle of the sound of   
the bells that rang in the  belfry of   
,solomon's temple4 ,he is a dunce1 he is
 a liar1 and you love  him4 ,there are  
three reasons why ,i should dislike him4
 ,i leave you to  judge1 ,mademoiselle1 
which of the three is the strongest4    
,perchance it  may well be the least    
honest2 for in truth ,i was1 a moment   
ago1 drawn  to you with a violence      
neither befitting my age nor my         
condition4 ,but  make no mistake2 ,i    
resent extremely the insults offered by 
your cowled  rascal to the ,church of   
our ,saviour ,jesus ,christ1 of which ,i
 am a very  unworthy member4 ,and this  
capuchin's example fills me with such   
disgust  that ,i am possessed by a      
sudden longing to meditate on some      
beautiful  passage of ,st4 ,john        
,chrysostom1 instead of sitting knee to 
knee with  you1 ,mademoiselle1 as ,i    
have been doing for the last quarter of 
an  hour4 ,for the desire of the sinner 

is short-lived and the glory of ,god  is
 everlasting4 ,i have never held an     
exaggerated notion of sins of the       
flesh4 ,i think in justice to me that   
must be allowed4    8,i am not scared   
like ,monsieur ,nicodme1 for example1 at
 such a little  thing as taking one's   
pleasure with a pretty girl4 ,but what  
,i cannot  endure is the baseness of    
soul1 the hypocrisy1 the lies1 and the  
crass  ignorance1 which make your       
brother ,ange an accomplished monk4     
,from your  intercourse with him1       
,mademoiselle1 you get a habit of       
crapulence which  drags you much below  
your position1 which is that of a       
courtesan4 ,i  know the shame and the   
misery of it2 but it is a far superior  
state to  that of a monk4 ,this rascal  
dishonours you even as he dishonours the
  gutters of the ,rue ,st4 ,jacques by  
dipping his feet into them4 ,think  of  
all the virtues with which you might    
adorn yourself1 ,mademoiselle1  in your 
precarious walk of life1 and one alone  

of which might one day  open ,paradise  
to you1 if you were not subjugated and  
enslaved to this  unclean beast4        
8,even while permitting yourself to pick
 up here and there what  must1 after    
all1 be bestowed on you as tokens of    
gratitude1 you1  ,catherine1 could      
blossom forth in faith1 hope1 and       
charity1 love the  poverty-stricken1 and
 visit the sick4 ,you could be          
charitable and  compassionate2 and find 
pure delight in the sight of the skies1 
the  waters1 the woods1 and the fields4 
,of a morning1 on opening your  window1 
you could praise ,god while listening to
 the song of the birds4  ,on days of    
pilgrimage you might climb the hill of  
,st4 ,valrien1 and  there1 beneath the  
,calvary1 softly bewail your lost       
innocence4 ,you  could act in such a way
 that ,he who alone reads our hearts    
would say3  #8,catherine is my creature1
 and ,i know her by the glimmerings of a
 clear  light not altogether            
extinguished in her4'0    ,catherine    

interrupted him3    8,but ,abb10 she    
said drily1 8you are spinning me a      
sermon40    8,did you not ask me for a  
dozen80 he replied4    ,she began to be 
angry3    8,take care ,abb4 ,it rests   
with you if we are to be friends or     
enemies4  ,will you compose the twelve  
sermons8 ,think well before you answer40
    8,mademoiselle10 said ,monsieur     
l',abb ,coignard1 8,i have done         
blameworthy  things in my life1 but not 
after reflection40    8,you will not8   
,quite certain8 ,one--two--,you refuse8 
,abb1 ,i shall take my  revenge40       
,for some time she sulked1 mute and     
bad-tempered1 on the bench4 ,then all   
at once she started crying3    8,have   
done1 ,monsieur l',abb6 ,have done6 ,at 
your age1 and a man of  your cloth to   
plague me thus6 ,fie ,monsieur l',abb6  
,fie6 ,how shameful1  ,monsieur l',abb60
    ,as she was squealing at her        
shrillest1 the ,abb saw ,mademoiselle   
,lecoeur1 of the draper's shop at the   
sign of the ,trois ,pucelles1 pass      

through the porch4 ,she was going thus  
late to confess to the third  vicaire of
 ,st4 ,benot1 and turned away her head  
in sign of her huge  disgust4    ,he    
owned to himself that ,catherine's      
revenge was prompt and sure1 for        
,mademoiselle ,lecoeur's sense of       
virtue1 fortified by age1 had become  so
 vigorous1 that she was down upon every 
impropriety of the parish1  and seven   
times a day stabbed with the point of   
her tongue the carnal  sinners of the   
,rue ,st4 ,jacques4    ,but ,catherine  
herself did not know how complete was   
her revenge4 ,she  had seen             
,mademoiselle ,lecoeur come into the    
market-place1 but she had  not seen my  
father who was following closely4    ,he
 was coming with me to look for the ,abb
 in the porch1 and take him  to the     
,petit ,bacchus4 ,my father had a liking
 for ,catherine4 ,nothing  vexed him    
more than to see her close beset by     
gallants4 ,he had no  illusions about   
her conduct4 ,but as he said1 knowing   

and seeing are  two different things4   
,now ,catherine's cries had reached his 
ears quite  clearly4 ,he was hasty and  
incapable of self-restraint4 ,i was much
  afraid that his wrath would burst     
forth in coarse suggestion or savage    
threats4 ,i already saw him drawing his 
larding-pin1 which he wore on  his      
apron-string like an honourable weapon1 
for he gloried in his art  and in his   
spit4    ,my fears were but             
half-justified4 ,the occasion surprised 
him1 but not  unpleasantly1 when        
,catherine showed virtue1 and           
satisfaction overcame  anger in his     
mind4    ,he accosted my good master    
fairly civilly and said with mock       
severity3    8,monsieur ,coignard1 all  
priests who cultivate the society of    
courtesans  lose thereby their virtue   
and their good name4 ,and rightly so1   
even if  no pleasure has rewarded their 
dishonour40    ,catherine left the spot 
with a fine air of offended modesty1 and
 my  excellent master answered my father

 with a sweet and smiling eloquence3    
8,that maxim is excellent1 ,monsieur    
,lonard2 still one should not apply  it 
without discretion1 nor stick it on to  
everything as the lame cutler  labels   
all his knives #8sixpence4' ,i will not 
inquire why ,i merited its  application 
a moment ago4 ,will it not do if ,i own 
that ,i merited it8    8,it is not      
seemly to talk of oneself and it would  
be too great a shock  to my modesty to  
be obliged to discourse on what is      
personal to me4 ,i  would rather set up 
the case of the venerable ,robert       
d',arbrissel who  acquired merit from   
frequenting courtesans4 ,one might also 
quote ,st4  ,abraham1 the anchorite of  
,syria1 who did not fear to enter a     
house of  ill-fame40    8,what ,st4     
,abraham was that80 asked my father1    
whose thoughts were all  put to rout4   
8,let us sit down outside your door10   
said my good master1 8bring a jug  of   
wine1 and ,i will tell you the story of 
this great saint as it was  recorded for

 us by ,st4 ,ephraim himself40    ,my   
father made a gesture of ready assent4  
,we all three sat down under  the eaves1
 and my good master spoke as follows3   
8,st4 ,abraham1 being already old1 lived
 alone in the desert in a little  hut1  
when his brother died leaving a daughter
 of great beauty1 named  ,mary4 ,assured
 that the life he led would be excellent
 for his niece1  ,abraham had built for 
her a little cell near his own1 whence  
he taught  her by means of a small      
window that he had had pierced4    8,he 
took care that she fasted1 watched1 and 
sang psalms4 ,but a monk1  whom we may  
suppose to have been a false monk1 drew 
nigh ,mary while the  holy man ,abraham 
was meditating on the ,scriptures1 and  
led the young  girl into sin2 who thus  
said to herself3    8#8,it were far     
better1 since ,i am dead to ,god1 to go 
into a country  where ,i am known to    
none4'    8,leaving her cell she betook 
herself to a neighbouring town called   
,edessa1 where there were delightful    

gardens and cool fountains2 it is  still
 to this day the pleasantest of the     
towns of ,syria4 ,meanwhile1 the  holy  
man ,abraham remained plunged in        
profound meditation4 ,his niece had     
already been gone some days when1       
opening her little window1 he asked3    
8#8,mary1 why do you no longer sing the 
psalms you sang so well8' ,and          
receiving no reply he suspected the     
truth and cried3 #8,a cruel wolf has    
carried off my ewe lamb from me6'       
8,he lived in sorrow for two years1     
after which he learnt that his niece    
was leading a bad life4 ,acting with    
discretion1 he begged one of his        
friends to go to the town and find out  
what had become of her4 ,the  friend's  
report was1 that1 in very deed1 ,mary   
was leading a bad life4  ,at this news  
the holy man begged his friend to lend  
him a riding-dress  and bring him a     
horse1 and putting on his head a big hat
 which hid his  face1 so as not to be   
recognised1 he presented himself at the 

hostelry  where they had told him his   
niece was lodged4 ,he looked on all     
sides to  see if he could not see her1  
but1 as she did not appear1 he said to  
the  innkeeper1 feigning to smile3      
8#8,mine host1 they tell me you have a  
pretty girl here4 ,can ,i not see  her8'
    8,the innkeeper1 an obliging man1   
had her called and ,mary appeared in a  
costume1 which1 according to the words  
of ,st4 ,ephraim himself1 sufficed  to  
reveal her mode of life4 ,the holy man  
was pierced with sorrow4    8,he        
affected gaiety nevertheless1 and       
ordered a good meal4 ,mary was in  a    
sober mood that day4 ,in giving pleasure
 one does not always taste  it1 and the 
sight of this old man whom she did not  
recognise1 for he  had not removed his  
hat1 in no way inclined her to          
joyousness4 ,the  innkeeper cried shame 
upon her for such naughty behaviour so  
opposed to  the duties of her           
profession1 but she said with a sigh3   
#8,would to ,god  that ,i had died three

 years ago6'    8,the holy man ,abraham 
was careful to adopt the language1 as he
 had  taken the coat1 of a gallant      
cavalier3    8#8,my child1' said he1    
#8,i have come here not to bewail your  
sins but to  partake of your affection4'
    8,but when the innkeeper left him   
alone with ,mary he feigned no more1    
but raising his hat1 he said weeping3   
8#8,mary1 my child1 do you not know me8 
,am ,i not that ,abraham who has  been a
 father to you8'    8,he took her by the
 hand and all the night long he exhorted
 her to  repentance and penance4 ,above 
all he was careful not to drive her to  
despair4 ,he repeated incessantly #8,my 
child1 it is only ,god who is  without  
sin4'    8,mary was naturally a sweet   
soul4 ,she consented to go back to him4 
,at  daybreak they set out4 ,she would  
have taken her robes and jewels4 ,but   
the holy man made her understand that it
 would be more fitting to leave  them4  
,he mounted her on his horse and led her
 back to their cells1  where they both  

took up their past life4 ,only this time
 the good man  took care that ,mary's   
room did not communicate with the       
outside world1  and that there was no   
going out without passing through the   
room that  he himself occupied4 ,by     
which means and by the grace of ,god1 he
 kept  his ewe lamb4 ,such is the       
history of ,st4 ,abraham10 said my good 
master1  drinking his cup of wine4      
8,it is quite beautiful10 said my       
father1 8and the misfortunes of poor    
,mary have brought tears to my eyes40   
,,iii    ,,ministers ,,of ,,state       
7concluded7      ,that same day my good 
master and ,i were exceedingly surprised
 to meet  at ,monsieur ,blaizot's at the
 sign of the ,image de ,sainte          
,catherine1  a little thin1 yellow man1 
who was no other than the celebrated    
pamphleteer1 ,jean ,hibou4444 ,we had   
every reason to believe that he was  in 
the ,bastille1 where he usually was4    
,and if we had no hesitation  in        
recognising him it was because his face 

still showed traces of  the darkness and
 mildew of the dungeon4 ,he was turning 
over with a  trembling hand1 under the  
bookseller's anxious eye1 some political
  writings newly come from ,holland4    
,abb ,jrme ,coignard doffed his hat     
with a natural grace which would have   
been more effective if the hat  had not 
been staved in the night before in a    
scuffle1 that need not  concern us1 in  
the arbour at the ,petit ,bacchus4      
,abb ,coignard having shown his pleasure
 at meeting so able a man again2        
,monsieur ,jean ,hibou replied1 8,it    
will not be for long4 ,i am leaving     
this country where ,i am unable to live4
 ,i cannot breathe the corrupted  air of
 this town any longer4 ,in a month's    
time ,i shall be settled in  ,holland4  
,it is cruel to have to put up with     
,fleury after ,dubois1 and ,i  am too   
virtuous to be a ,frenchman4 ,we are    
governed on bad principles1  by fools   
and rogues4 ,i cannot endure it40       
8,truly10 said my excellent master1     

8public affairs are badly managed  and  
there are many thieves in office4 ,power
 is divided between fools  and knaves1  
and should ,i ever write on the affairs 
of the day ,i should  make a small book 
on the lines of the ,apokolokyntosis of 
,seneca the  ,philosopher1 or of our own
 ,satire ,mnippe1 which is fairly       
pungent4  ,this light and pleasant style
 suits the subject better than the      
morose  stiltedness of a ,tacitus or the
 patient seriousness of a de ,thou4 ,i  
would make copies of this lampoon which 
would be passed about under  the rose1  
and it should display a philosophical   
disdain for mankind4  ,the majority of  
the people in office would be extremely 
annoyed1  but ,i think some would taste 
a secret pleasure in seeing themselves  
covered with shame4 ,i judge so from    
what ,i heard said by a lady of  good   
birth whose acquaintance ,i made at ,sez
 during the time when ,i  was the       
,bishop's librarian4 ,she was growing   
old1 but still thrilled to  lascivious  

memories4 ,for ,i must tell you that for
 twenty years she had  been the most    
notorious trollop in ,normandy4 ,and    
when ,i asked her what  had given her   
the most lively pleasure in life1 she   
answered me3 #8,to  know myself         
dishonoured4'    8,from this reply ,i   
gathered that she had some nicety of    
feeling4 ,i  would give as much credit  
to certain of our ministers1 and if ever
 ,i  write against them it would be to  
incite them to hug their infamy and     
viciousness4    8,but why postpone the  
execution of so fine a project8 ,i will 
ask  ,monsieur ,blaizot at once for half
 a dozen sheets of paper and set about  
writing the first chapter of the new    
,mnippe40    ,he was already reaching   
out his hand to the astonished ,monsieur
  ,blaizot1 when ,monsieur ,jean ,hibou 
stopped him quickly3    8,keep this     
splendid scheme for ,holland1 ,monsieur 
l',abb10 he said1 8and  come with me to 
,amsterdam1 where ,i will provide you   
with the means of  livelihood at some   

coffee-house or bagnio4 ,there you will 
be free1 and  of nights you shall write 
your ,mnippe at one end of the table1   
whilst ,i1 at the other1 am busy with my
 lampoons4 ,they shall be full  charged 
with virus1 and who knows but what we   
may bring about a change  in the affairs
 of the kingdom8 ,pamphleteers play more
 part than is  thought in the downfall  
of empires4 ,they prepare the           
catastrophe which  is consummated by a  
popular revolt40    8,what a triumph10  
he added1 in a voice which whistled     
through his  blackened teeth1 carious   
with the bitter humours of his mouth1   
8what  joy if ,i effected the           
destruction of one of those ministers1  
who1 like  cowards1 shut me in the      
,bastille6 ,will you not take a share in
 such  good work1 ,monsieur l',abb80    
8,by no means10 replied my good master1 
8,i should be very sorry to  change     
anything in the system of the ,state1   
and if ,i thought that my               
,apokolokyntosis or ,mnippe could have  

such a result1 ,i would never  write    
it40    8,what60 exclaimed the          
disappointed pamphleteer1 8didn't you   
tell me but  a moment ago1 that the     
present government was wicked80    8,no 
doubt10 said ,monsieur l',abb1 8but ,i  
merely imitate the wisdom of  that old  
crone of ,syracuse who1 at the time when
 ,dionysius treated his  people most    
execrably1 went to the temple every day 
to pray to the gods  for the life of the
 tyrant4 ,told of this singular piety1  
,dionysius  wished to know the reason   
for it4 ,he sent for the good woman1 and
  questioned her3    8,she replied1 #8,i
 am no longer young and have lived under
 many tyrants1  and ,i have always      
observed that a bad one was succeeded by
 a worse4 ,you  are the most detestable 
that ,i have yet seen4 ,from which ,i   
conclude  that your successor will be1  
if possible1 more wicked than yourself1 
and ,i pray the gods to give him to us  
as late as may be4'    8,that old woman 
was very sensible1 and ,i think as she  

did1 ,monsieur  ,jean ,hibou1 that sheep
 do well to allow themselves to be      
sheared by  their old shepherd1 for fear
 a younger one should come along1 who   
would  but shear them closer40          
,monsieur ,jean ,hibou's gall1 stirred  
by this discourse1 spent itself in      
bitter words3    8,what cowardly talk6  
,what shameful sentiments6 ,oh6         
,monsieur l',abb1  what little love you 
bear to the public good1 and how ill you
 deserve  the oak-leaf crown promised by
 the poets to civic heroes4 ,you should 
have been born amongst the ,turks1      
amongst the ,tartars1 slave to a        
,genghis ,khan or a ,bajazet1 rather    
than in ,europe where principles of     
public right are taught1 and divine     
philosophy4 ,what6 you endure bad       
government nor even wish to alter it6   
,such sentiments would be punished  in a
 republic of my making by exile or      
banishment at least4 ,yes1  ,monsieur   
l',abb1 in the constitution that ,i     
meditate1 which is to be  formulated on 

the maxims of antiquity1 ,i shall add a 
clause for the  punishment of such bad  
citizens as you1 and ,i shall proclaim  
penalties  against whomsoever can       
improve his ,state but does not do so40 
8,eh6 eh60 laughed the ,abb1 8that is   
not the way to make me wish to  live in 
your ,salentum4 ,what you have let me   
know of it leads me to  think that there
 would be much constraint there40       
,monsieur ,jean ,hibou replied          
sententiously3 8,you would only be      
constrained to be virtuous40    8,ah1   
how right that old woman was1 and what  
reason we have to fear a  ,jean ,hibou  
after a ,dubois and a ,fleury6 ,what you
 offer me1 my good sir1  is a government
 of violence and hypocrisy1 and to      
hasten this promised  good you undertake
 to make me a keeper of a coffee-house  
or a bagnio  on a canal in ,amsterdam6  
,thank you for nothing6 ,i stick to the 
,rue ,st4  ,jacques1 where we drink cool
 claret and grumble at the ministers4   
,do  you think you can seduce me by the 

vision of a government of honest men    
that so hedges in all liberties that no 
one can enjoy them80    8,monsieur      
l',abb10 said ,jean ,hibou1 getting     
heated1 8is it fair  to attack a system 
of ,state conceived by me in the        
,bastille1 and  undisclosed to you80    
8,sir10 retorted my excellent master1   
8,i am suspicious of governments  born  
of cabals and rebellions4 ,to be in     
opposition is a very bad school  of     
government1 and wary politicians1 who   
push themselves into office  by this    
means1 take great care to govern by     
rules entirely opposed to  those they   
formerly taught4 ,you need not go to    
,china to see that6 ,they  are guided by
 the same necessities which lay on their
 predecessors4 ,and  they bring nothing 
new to the task but their inexperience4 
,which is one  reason1 sir1 which makes 
me foretell that a new government would 
be  more vexatious than the one it      
replaces1 without being very different4 
,have we not already put it to the      

proof80    8,so10 said ,monsieur ,jean  
,hibou1 8you hold by abuses80    8,such 
is the case10 answered my good master4  
8,governments are like  wines that grow 
crusted and mellow with age4 ,the       
roughest lose at  length something of   
their crudity4 ,i fear an empire in the 
greenness  of its youth4 ,i fear the    
rawness of a republic1 and since we must
 be  ill-governed ,i prefer princes and 
statesmen in whom the first ardour  has 
cooled off40    ,monsieur ,jean ,hibou1 
crushing his hat on his nose1 bade us   
good-bye  with irritation in his voice4 
,as soon as he was gone ,monsieur       
,blaizot looked up over his ledgers1 and
  settling his spectacles1 said to my   
excellent master3    8,i have been a    
bookseller for forty years at the sign  
of the ,image de  ,sainte ,catherine1   
and it is always a fresh pleasure to me 
to listen  to the converse of the       
learned men who meet in my shop4 ,but ,i
 do not  greatly care for discussions on
 public affairs4 ,people get heated1 and

  quarrel to no purpose40               
8,moreover10 said my good master1 8in   
this subject there is little solid      
principle40    8,there is1 at least1 one
 that no man will do well to contest10  
replied  ,monsieur ,blaizot the         
bookseller1 8and that is that he must be
 a bad  ,christian and a bad ,frenchman 
who would deny the virtue of the holy   
,ampulla of ,rheims1 by whose unction   
our kings are made vicars of ,jesus     
,christ for the kingdom of ,france4     
,here is the basis of monarchy1 which   
shall never be shaken40          ,,iv   
,,the ,,affair ,,of ,,the ,,mississippi 
,it is well known that during the year  
#agbb the ,parliament of ,paris sat  in 
judgment on the ,mississippi affair1 in 
which were implicated1 along  with the  
directors of the ,company1 a minister of
 ,state1 secretary to  the ,king1 and   
many subinspectors of provinces4 ,the   
,company was accused  of having         
corrupted the officers of the ,king and 
his dominions1 who had  in reality      

stripped it with the greed usual to     
people in office under  weak            
governments4 ,and it is certain that at 
this period all the springs  of         
government were slackened and warped4   
,at one of the sittings of this         
memorable action1 ,madame de la         
,morangre1 wife of one of the directors 
of the ,mississippi ,company1  was      
called before the members of ,parliament
 in the upper chamber4  ,she gave       
evidence that a ,monsieur ,lescot1      
secretary to the                        
,lieutenant-,criminel1#c having sent for
 her to come in secret to the  ,chtelet1
 made her understand that it lay with   
her entirely to save  her husband1 who  
was a fine man and of comely aspect4 ,he
 said to her1  nearly in these terms3   
8,madame1 what vexes the true friends of
 the  ,king in this business is that the
 ,jansenists are not implicated in it4  
,jansenists are enemies to the ,crown as
 well as to religion4 ,help us1         
,madame1 to convict one of them and we  

will acknowledge the service to  the    
,state by giving you back your husband  
with all his possessions40    ,when     
,madame de la ,morangre had reported    
this conversation1 which  was not       
intended for the public1 the ,president 
of the ,parliament  was obliged to call 
,monsieur ,lescot to the upper chamber1 
who at  first tried to deny it4 ,but    
,madame de la ,morangre had beautiful   
ingenuous eyes1 whose gaze he could not 
meet4 ,he grew troubled and was         
confounded4 ,he was a big1              
villainous-looking1 red-haired man like 
,judas  ,iscariot4 ,this affair1 noticed
 by the ,press1 became the talk of      
,paris4  ,it was spoken of in the       
salons1 on the public walks1 at the     
barbers'1  and in the coffee-houses4    
,everywhere ,madame de la ,morangre     
gained as  much sympathy as ,lescot     
caused disgust4    ,public curiosity was
 still rife when ,i accompanied my good 
master  ,monsieur ,jrme ,coignard to    
,monsieur ,blaizot's1 who1 as you know1 

is a  bookseller in the ,rue ,st4       
,jacques1 at the sign of the ,image de  
,sainte  ,catherine4 ,in the shop we    
found ,monsieur ,gentil1 private        
secretary to  one of the ministers of   
,state1 whose face was hidden in a book 
newly  come from ,holland1 and the      
celebrated ,monsieur ,roman1 who has    
treated  of systems of ,state in various
 estimable works4 ,old ,monsieur        
,blaizot  was reading his paper behind  
the counter4    ,monsieur ,jrme         
,coignard1 always avid of news1 slid up 
to him to glean  what he could across   
his shoulder4 ,this man1 learned and of 
so rare a  genius1 owned nothing of the 
goods of this world1 and when he had    
drunk  his pint at the ,petit ,bacchus  
he had not a halfpenny left in his      
pockets to buy a news-sheet4 ,having    
read the depositions of ,madame de  la  
,morangre over ,monsieur ,blaizot's     
shoulder1 he cried out that it was      
well1 and that it pleased him to see    
wickedness topple from its high  seat   

under the weak hand of woman1 as in     
wonderful examples witnessed  to in     
,holy ,writ4    8,this lady10 he added1 
8although allied with public men of whom
 ,i do  not approve1 may be likened unto
 those strong women lauded in the ,book 
of ,kings4 ,she pleases by an uncommon  
mixture of straightforwardness  and     
finesse1 and ,i applaud her telling     
victory40    ,monsieur ,roman           
interrupted him3    8,take care1        
,monsieur l',abb10 said he1 stretching  
out his arm1 8take  care how you look at
 this affair from an individual and     
personal point  of view1 without        
troubling yourself as you should do with
 the public  interests that are bound up
 in it4 ,there are reasons of ,state in 
all  this1 and it is clear that this    
supreme reason demanded that ,madame  de
 la ,morangre should not speak1 or that 
her words should not find  credence40   
,monsieur ,gentil lifted his nose from  
his book4 8,the importance of this      
incident10 said he1 8has been much      

exaggerated40    8,ah1 ,mr4 ,secretary10
 retorted ,monsieur ,roman1 8we cannot  
believe that  an incident that will lose
 you your place can be without          
importance4  ,for you will fall by it1  
sir1 you and your master4 ,for my part1 
,i am  full of regrets4 ,but what       
consoles me for the fall of the         
,ministry now  reeling under the shock  
is that they were powerless to prevent  
it40    ,monsieur ,gentil made us       
understand by a slight wink that on this
 point  he saw eye to eye with ,monsieur
 ,roman4    ,the latter continued3      
8,the ,state is like the human body--all
 the functions it accomplishes are  not 
noble4 ,some there are indeed that one  
must needs hide1 ,i may say  the most   
necessary40    8,ah1 ,monsieur10 said   
the ,abb1 8was it then necessary that   
,monsieur  ,lescot should so behave to  
the unfortunate wife of a prisoner8 ,it 
was  infamous60    8,oh10 said ,monsieur
 ,roman1 8it was infamous when it was   
known4 ,before1  it was of no           

importance4 ,if you wish to enjoy the   
benefit of being  governed1 which alone 
raises mankind above the animals1 you   
must leave1  to those who govern1 the   
means of exercising power1 and the first
 of  these means is secrecy4 ,that is   
why popular government1 which is the    
least secret of all1 is also the        
weakest4 ,do you then think1 ,monsieur  
l',abb1 that you can govern men by      
virtue8 ,that is a wild dream60    8,i  
do not think so10 replied my good       
master1 8,i have noticed in the  varied 
chances of my life that men are evil    
beasts2 one can only  control them by   
force and cunning4 ,but one must be     
measured and not  offend the small      
amount of good tendencies which mingles 
with the evil  instincts in their minds4
 ,for after all1 ,monsieur1 man1 all    
cowardly1  stupid1 cruel1 as he is was  
made in ,god's image1 and there remain  
to  him still certain features of his   
primal shape4 ,a government drawn  from 
the common stock of average honesty1 and

 that yet scandalises the  people1      
should be deposed40    8,speak lower1   
,monsieur l',abb10 said the ,secretary4 
8,the ,king can do no wrong10 said      
,monsieur ,roman1 8and your maxims are  
seditious1 ,monsieur l',abb4 ,you       
deserve1 you and your like1 not to be   
governed at all40    8,oh60 said my good
 master1 8if1 as you give us to         
understand1  government consists in     
swindling1 violence1 and exactions of   
all  kinds1 there is not much fear that 
this threat will take effect1 and  we   
shall find1 for long enough yet1        
ministers of ,state and governors  of   
provinces to carry on our affairs4 ,only
 ,i should much like to see  others in  
place of these4 ,the new-comers could   
not be worse than the  old1 and who     
knows but that they may be even slightly
 better80    8,take care60 said         
,monsieur ,roman1 8take care6 ,what is  
admirable in a  state1 is succession and
 continuity1 and if there is no perfect 
state  in this world1 it is because1    

according to my idea1 the flood in the  
time of ,noah disordered the            
transmission of crowns4 ,it is a        
confusion  we have not quite set        
straight to this day40    8,monsieur10  
retorted my good master1 8you are       
amusing with your  theories4 ,the       
history of the world is full of         
revolutions4 ,one sees  but civil wars1 
tumults1 and seditions1 caused by the   
wickedness  of princes1 and ,i know not 
which to admire the most nowadays1 the  
impudence of the rulers1 or the patience
 of the people40    ,the secretary      
complained then that ,monsieur l',abb   
,coignard overlooked  the benefits of   
royalty1 and ,monsieur ,blaizot         
represented to us that it  was not      
fitting to contend about public matters 
in a bookseller's shop4    ,when we were
 outside1 ,i pulled my good master by   
the sleeve4    8,monsieur l',abb10 ,i   
said1 8have you then forgotten the old  
woman of  ,syracuse1 that you now want  
to change the tyrant80                  

8,tournebroche1 my son10 answered he1   
8,i acknowledge with a good grace  that 
,i have fallen into a contradiction4    
,but this ambiguity1 that you  justly   
point out in my words1 is not as evil as
 that called antinomy  by the           
philosophers4 ,charron1 in his book on  
#8,wisdom1' affirms that  antinomies    
exist which cannot be resolved4 ,for my 
part1 ,i am no sooner  plunged in       
meditations of the kind than ,i see in  
my mind's eye half a  dozen of these    
she-devils take each other by the nose  
and make pretence  to tear each other's 
eyes out1 and one sees at once that one 
would  never come to the end of         
reconciling these obstinate shrews4 ,i  
lose all  hope of making them agree1 and
 it is their fault if ,i have not much  
advanced metaphysics4 ,but in the       
present case the contradiction1 my  son1
 is merely apparent4 ,my reason always  
sides with the old woman of  ,syracuse4 
,i think to-day what ,i thought         
yesterday4 ,only ,i have let my         

feelings run away with me and have      
yielded to passion as do the vulgar40   
,,footnotes3    #c ,a stipendiary       
magistrate4          ,v    ,,easter     
,,eggs      ,my father kept a cook-shop 
in the ,rue ,st4 ,jacques opposite to   
,st4  ,benot-le-,btourn4 ,i do not      
pretend that he had any affection for   
,lent2 the sentiment would not have been
 natural in a cook4 ,but he  observed   
the fasts and days of abstinence like   
the good ,christian that  he was4 ,for  
lack of money to buy a dispensation from
 the ,archbishop  he supped off haddock 
on fast-days1 with his wife1 his son1   
his dog1  and his usual guests1 of whom 
the most assiduous was my good master1  
,monsieur l',abb ,jrme ,coignard4 ,my   
pious mother would not have allowed     
,miraut1 our watchdog1 to gnaw a bone on
 ,good ,friday4 ,that day she put       
neither meat nor fat in the poor        
animal's mess4 ,in vain did ,monsieur   
l',abb ,coignard represent to her that  
this was doing the wrong thing1  and    

that in all justice1 ,miraut1 who had no
 share in the sacred  mysteries of      
redemption1 ought not to suffer in his  
allowance4    8,my good woman10 said    
this great man1 8it is fitting1 that we1
 as  members of the ,church1 should sup 
off haddock2 but there is a certain     
superstition1 impiety1 temerity--nay    
even sacrilege--to associate a dog1  as 
you do1 with these mortifications of the
 flesh1 made infinitely  precious by the
 interest ,god ,himself takes in them1  
and which that  interest apart would be 
contemptible and ridiculous4 ,it is an  
abuse1  which your simplicity renders   
innocent1 but which would be criminal in
  a ,divine1 or even in a judiciously   
minded ,christian4 ,such a practice1  my
 good lady1 leads straight to the most  
shocking heresy4 ,it tends to  no less  
than the upholding of the theory that   
,jesus ,christ died for  dogs even as   
for the sons of ,adam4 ,and nothing is  
more contrary to the  ,scriptures40     
8,that may be10 replied my mother4 8,but

 if ,miraut ate meat on ,good  ,friday  
,i should fancy to myself that he was a 
,jew1 and have a horror of  him4 ,is    
that committing a sin1 ,monsieur        
l',abb80    ,my excellent master        
answered gently1 taking a drink of wine3
    8,ah dear creature1 without deciding
 at this moment if you sin or if  you do
 not1 ,i can tell you for a certainty   
that there is no malice  in you1 and ,i 
believe more surely in your eternal     
salvation than in  that of five or six  
bishops and cardinals of my             
acquaintance1 who have  nevertheless    
written fine treatises on the canon     
law40    ,miraut swallowed his mess     
sniffing at it1 as if he did not like   
it1 and  my father went off with        
,monsieur l',abb ,coignard to take a    
stroll to  the ,petit ,bacchus4    ,thus
 passed the holy time of ,lent at the   
,sign of the ,reine ,pdauque4  ,but from
 early ,easter morn1 when the bells of  
,st4 ,benot-le-,btourn  announced the   
joyful ,resurrection1 my father spitted 

chickens1 ducks1  and pigeons by the    
dozen1 and ,miraut1 in the corner by the
 glowing  fire-place1 sniffed the good  
smell of fat1 wagging his tail with     
grave  and pensive joy4 ,old1 tired1 and
 nearly blind1 he still relished the    
joys of this life1 whose ills he        
accepted with a resignation which made  
them less unkind for him4 ,he was a     
sage1 and ,i am not surprised that my   
mother associated such a reasonable     
creature in her good works4    ,having  
heard ,high ,mass we dined in the       
savoury-smelling shop4 ,my father       
brought to this repast a pious joy4 ,he 
had commonly1 as companions1 a  few     
attorneys' clerks1 and my good master   
,monsieur l',abb ,coignard4  ,this year 
of grace #agbe1 at ,easter-tide1 ,i     
remember1 my good master  brought       
,monsieur ,nicolas ,cerise1 whom he had 
dragged from a loft in the  ,rue des    
,maons1 where this learned man wrote1   
day and night1 news of  the republic of 
letters for ,dutch publishers4 ,on the  

table a mound of  red eggs rose from a  
wire basket4 ,and when ,monsieur l',abb 
,coignard had  said the ,benedicite1    
these eggs formed the topic of          
conversation4    8,one reads in lius    
,lampridus10 said ,monsieur ,nicolas    
,cerise1 8that  a hen owned by the      
father of ,alexander ,severus laid a red
 egg on the  birthday of that child     
destined to ,empire40    8,this         
,lampridus1 who had not much            
intelligence10 said my good master1     
8had better have left such a tale to the
 old wives who have spread  it abroad4  
,you have too much good sense1 sir1 to  
deduce from this  ridiculous fable the  
,christian custom of serving red eggs on
 ,easter  ,day80    8,i do not indeed   
believe10 replied ,monsieur ,nicolas    
,cerise1 8that this  usage is derived   
from the egg of ,alexander ,severus4    
,the only conclusion  that ,i wish to   
draw from the fact1 as reported by      
,lampridus1 is that a  red egg1 among   
the heathen1 presaged supreme power4    

,for the rest10 he  added1 8that egg    
must have been reddened in some manner1 
for hens do  not lay red eggs40         
8,excuse me10 said my mother1 who was   
standing by the fire-place  decorating  
the dishes1 8in my childhood ,i saw a   
black hen who laid  eggs shading into   
brown2 that is why ,i am ready to       
believe that there  are hens whose eggs 
are red1 or of a colour approaching red1
 as for  instance brick-colour40        
8,that is quite possible10 said my good 
master1 8and ,nature is more  diverse   
and varied in her productions than we   
commonly believe4 ,there  are oddities  
of every sort in the generating of      
animals1 and one sees  in               
natural-history collections far stranger
 monsters than a red egg40    8,for     
instance1 they keep a calf with five    
feet1 and a child with two  heads1 in   
the ,king's collection10 said ,monsieur 
,nicolas ,cerise4    8,they can better  
that at ,auneau1 near ,chartres10 said  
my mother1  putting on the table1 as she

 spoke1 a dozen strings of sausages and 
cabbage1 whence a pleasing odour rose up
 to the joists of the ceiling4  8,i saw 
there1 gentlemen1 a new-born infant with
 goosefeet and a  serpent's head4 ,the  
midwife who received it got such a shock
 that she  threw it in the fire40       
8,be careful10 said ,monsieur l',abb    
,coignard1 8be careful1 for man is  born
 of woman to serve ,god1 and it is      
unimaginable that he could serve  ,him  
with a serpent's head1 and it follows   
therefore that there are no  children of
 the kind1 and that your midwife was    
dreaming or making fun  of you40        
8,monsieur l',abb10 said ,monsieur      
,nicolas ,cerise1 with a slight smile4  
8,you have seen as ,i have1 in the      
,king's collection1 a bi-sexual ftus    
with four legs1 preserved in a jar      
filled with spirits of wine1 and in     
another jar1 a child without a head and 
with an eye over the navel4  ,could     
these monsters serve ,god any better    
than the child with the  serpent's head 

our hostess speaks of8 ,and what is one 
to say of those  who have two heads1 so 
that one does not know whether they have
 two  souls8 ,acknowledge1 ,monsieur    
l',abb1 that nature1 while amusing      
herself  with such cruel sport1 puzzles 
the theologian no little80    ,my good  
master had already opened his mouth to  
speak1 and doubtless  he would have     
entirely demolished the objection of    
,monsieur ,nicolas  ,cerise1 had not my 
mother1 whom nothing could stop when she
 wanted to  speak anticipated him by    
saying very loudly that the child at    
,auneau  was no human creature1 and it  
was the devil himself who had fathered  
it  on a baker's wife4 8,and the proof  
is10 she added1 8that no one thought  of
 having it baptized1 and that it was    
buried in a napkin at the bottom  of the
 enclosed garden4 ,if it had been a     
human being it would have been  buried  
in consecrated ground4 ,when the devil  
fathers a child it takes  the shape of  
an animal40    8,my good woman10 replied

 ,monsieur l',abb ,coignard1 8it is     
marvellous  that a villager should know 
more of the devil than a ,doctor of     
,divinity4 ,i admire the way you        
interest yourself in the matron of      
,auneau1 to the extent of knowing if    
such fruit of a woman is one with       
mankind1 redeemed by the blood of ,god4 
,believe me1 these devilries are  but   
unclean fancies which you should purge  
from your mind4 ,it is not  written in  
the ,fathers that the devil fathers     
children on poor girls4  ,all these     
tales of satanic fornication are        
disgusting imaginings1 and  it is a     
disgrace that the ,jesuits and          
,dominicans have written treatises  on  
them40    8,you speak well1 ,abb10 said 
,monsieur ,nicolas ,cerise1 impaling a  
sausage from the dish4 8,but you give no
 answer to what ,i said1 that the       
children born without heads are far from
 being adapted to the destiny  of       
mankind1 which1 the ,church tells us1 is
 to know ,god and to serve  ,him and to 

love ,him1 and in that1 as in the amount
 of germs which  are wasted1 nature is  
not1 speaking plainly1 sufficiently     
theological  and ,christian4 ,i may add 
that she exhibits no religious spirit in
 any  of her acts1 and seems to ignore  
her ,god4 ,that is what frightens me1   
,monsieur l',abb40    8,oh60 cried my   
father1 waving on the end of his fork a 
drum-stick of  the chicken he was       
carving1 8,oh6 this is indeed gloomy and
 dreary talk1  ill-suited to the feast  
we celebrate to-day4 ,and it is my wife 
who is  to blame1 who offers us a child 
with a serpent's head as if it were an  
agreeable dish for honest company4 ,that
 out of my beautiful red eggs  should   
come so many diabolical tales60    8,ah1
 mine host10 said ,monsieur l',abb      
,coignard4 8,it is true that  everything
 comes out of the egg4 ,from this idea  
the heathens have drawn  many           
philosophical fables4 ,but that from    
eggs1 so ,christian under their  antique
 purple as those we have just eaten1    

should escape such a flight  of wild    
impieties1 that is what amazes me40     
,monsieur ,nicolas ,cerise looked at my 
good master1 winking his eye1 and  said1
 with a thin laugh3    8,monsieur l',abb
 ,coignard1 these eggs1 whose           
beetroot-tinted shells lie  scattered on
 the floor under our feet1 are not in   
their essence as  ,christian and        
,catholic as it pleases you to think    
them4 ,easter ,eggs1 on  the contrary1  
are of heathen origin1 and recall1 at   
the time of spring  equinox1 the        
mysterious burgeoning of life4 ,it is an
 ancient symbol  which has been         
preserved in the ,christian religion40  
8,one might equably reasonably uphold10 
said my good master1 8that it  is a     
symbol of the ,resurrection of ,christ4 
,i1 for one1 have no wish  to load      
religion with symbolical subtleties4 ,i 
would most willingly  believe that the  
pleasure of eating eggs1 denied to us   
during ,lent1  is the sole reason why on
 this day they appear on the tables with

  honour and clothed in royal purple4   
,but no matter1 these are mere  trifles1
 serving to amuse the learned and the   
bookmen4 ,what is worth  considering in 
your talk1 ,monsieur ,nicolas ,cerise1  
is that you bring  into opposition      
nature and religion1 and you want to    
make them inimical  to each other4      
,impiety6 ,monsieur ,nicolas ,cerise4   
,and so horrible that  this good fellow 
of a cook trembles at it without        
understanding it4  ,but ,i am not a whit
 disturbed2 and such arguments cannot1  
even for one  minute1 seduce a mind     
which knows how to govern itself4       
8,in truth1 ,monsieur ,nicolas ,cerise1 
you have proceeded by that  rational and
 scientific route which is but a narrow1
 short1 and  dirty blind-alley1 on      
coming to the end of which we break our 
noses  ingloriously4 ,you argue in the  
manner of a thoughtful apothecary1  who 
thinks he understands nature because he 
can smell some of her  manifestations4  
,and you have concluded that natural    

generation  producing monsters is no    
part of the secret of ,god1 ,who creates
 men to  celebrate ,his glory1          
#8,pulcher hymnus ,dei homo immortalis'3
 ,it was  very generous of you to omit  
mention of the new-born who die as soon 
as  they see the light1 of the mad1 and 
the imbecile1 and all creatures who  are
 not1 from your point of view1 what     
,lactantius calls a worthy hymn  to     
,god1 ,pulcher hymnus ,dei4 ,but what do
 you know of it all1 and what  do we    
know of it all1 ,monsieur ,nicolas      
,cerise8 ,you take me for one of  your  
readers at ,amsterdam or at the ,hague1 
to wish to make me believe  that the    
unintelligibility of nature is an       
objection to our holy  ,christian faith4
 ,nature1 sir1 shows to our eyes but a  
succession of  incoherent images in     
which it is impossible for us to find a 
meaning1  and ,i grant you1 that        
according to her1 and in tracking her   
footsteps1  ,i fail to discern in the   
child that is born either the           

,christian1  the man1 or even the       
individual2 and the flesh is an         
absolutely  indecipherable hieroglyphic4
 ,but that matters nothing1 and we are  
looking at the wrong side of the        
tapestry4 ,do not let us fix our gaze   
on that1 but understand that from that  
side we can know nothing4 ,let us  turn 
entirely to the understandable1 which is
 the human soul united to  ,god4        
8,you are amusing1 ,monsieur ,nicolas   
,cerise1 with your nature and your      
generation4 ,you are1 to my mind1 like  
some good fellow who thinks he  has     
surprised the ,king's secrets because he
 has seen the paintings  which decorate 
the council chamber4 ,in the same way   
that the secrets  are to be found in the
 conversation of the ,king and his      
ministers1 so  is the fate of man in the
 thought which proceeds alike from the  
created  and the ,creator4 ,all the rest
 is but folly and amusement1 fit to     
divert  the loungers1 of whom one sees  
many in the ,academies4 ,do not talk to 

me  of nature1 except of what one sees  
at the ,petit ,bacchus in the person  of
 ,catherine the lace-maker1 who is plump
 and well-made4    8,and you1 mine      
host10 added ,monsieur l',abb ,coignard1
 8give me to  drink1 for ,i have a      
thirst on me1 all the fault of ,monsieur
 ,nicolas  ,cerise1 who thinks nature an
 atheist4 ,and1 by a thousand devils1 so
  she is1 and perforce must be1 to some 
extent2 and if at all times she         
declares the glory of ,god1 it is       
without knowing it1 for there is no     
knowledge1 save in the mind of man1     
which alone proceeds from both the      
finite and the infinite4 ,give me to    
drink60    ,my father poured out a      
brimming glass for my good master1      
,monsieur  l',abb ,coignard1 and for    
,monsieur ,nicolas ,cerise1 and forced  
them to  clink their glasses1 which they
 did right heartily1 for they were good 
fellows4          ,,vi    ,,the ,,new   
,,ministry      ,mr4 ,shippen1 who      
practised the trade of a locksmith at   

,greenwich1  dined every day1 during his
 short stays in ,paris1 at the ,sign of 
the  ,reine ,pdauque1 in the company of 
his landlord and of my good master1     
,monsieur l',abb ,coignard4    ,that    
day1 at dessert1 having called for a    
bottle of wine as was his  custom1      
lighted his pipe1 and drawn from his    
pocket the ,london ,gazette1  he set    
himself peaceably to smoke1 drink1 and  
read2 then folding his  paper1 and      
placing his pipe on the edge of the     
table1 he said3    8,gentlemen1 the     
,government is defeated40    8,oh60 said
 my good master1 8it is of no           
consequence40    8,pardon me10 said ,mr4
 ,shippen1 8it is a matter of           
consequence1  for the former ministry   
being ,tory1 the new one will be ,whig1 
and  moreover1 everything that happens  
in ,england is of importance40          
8,sir10 replied my good master1 8,we    
have seen greater changes than  that in 
,france4 ,we have seen the four         
officials known as ,secretaries  of     

,state replaced by six or seven         
,councils of ten members apiece1 and    
the ,secretaries of ,state hewn in ten  
pieces and then re-established  in their
 original shape4 ,at each of these      
changes there were some who  swore that 
all was lost1 and others that all was   
saved4 ,and rhymes were  made about it  
all4 ,for my part1 ,i take little       
interest in what is done  in the ,king's
 cabinet1 for ,i notice that the course 
of life is in no  way changed1 and after
 reforms men are as before1 selfish1    
avaricious1  cowardly1 cruel1 stupid and
 furious by turns1 and there is always a
  nearly even number of births1         
marriages1 cuckolds1 and gallowsbirds1  
in which is made manifest the beautiful 
ordering of our society4 ,this          
condition is stable1 sir1 and nothing   
could shake it1 for it is founded  on   
human misery and imbecility1 and those  
are foundations which will  never be    
wanting4 ,the whole edifice gains from  
them a strength which  defies the       

efforts of the worst of princes1 and of 
the ignorant crowd  of officials who    
assist them40    ,my father1 who1       
larding-pin in hand1 was listening to   
this  conversation1 made this amendment 
with deferential firmness3 that good    
ministers are to be found1 and that he  
could remember one1 who had  recently   
died1 as the author of a very wise      
regulation protecting cooks  against the
 devouring ambitions of butchers and    
confectioners4    8,that may be1        
,monsieur ,tournebroche10 retorted my   
good master1 8and  it is a matter to    
discuss with confectioners4 ,but what is
 necessary  to consider is that empires 
subsist1 not by the wisdom of certain   
,secretaries of ,state1 but by the needs
 of millions of men1 who1 to  live1 work
 at all sorts of lowly and ignoble arts 
such as industry1  commerce1            
agriculture1 war1 and navigation4 ,these
 individual hardships  make up what is  
called the greatness of a people1 and   
neither prince  nor ministers have a    

part in them40    8,you are mistaken1   
sir10 said the ,englishman1 8ministers  
do their part  by making laws1 of which 
a single one may enrich or ruin the     
nation40    8,oh1 as for that10 replied 
the ,abb1 8it is a risk that must be    
run4  ,since the affairs of the ,state  
are so widespread that the intelligence 
of a single man cannot embrace them1 we 
must forgive ministers for  working     
blindly thereat1 and harbour no         
resentment against the good or  evil    
they do1 but suppose that they moved as 
in a game of blind-man's  buff4         
,moreover1 this evil and this good would
 seem less to us if  estimated without  
superstition1 and ,i doubt1 sir1 if a   
general order  could have the effect    
that you mention4 ,i judge by the women 
of  the town1 who are themselves alone1 
in a year1 the object of more           
regulations than are put forth in a     
century for all other classes in  the   
kingdom1 and who1 none the less1 carry  
on their business with an  exactitude   

based on the forces of nature4 ,they    
laugh at the simple  blackening which a 
magistrate named ,nicodme#d meditates in
 regard  to them1 and make fun of       
,monsieur ,baiselance1 the mayor#e who  
has  formed1 along with several         
attorneys and treasury officials1 an    
impotent association for their ruin4 ,i 
can tell you that ,catherine1 the       
lace-maker1 is ignorant of the very name
 of ,baiselance1 and that she  will     
remain ignorant of it until her end1    
which will be a ,christian  one--at     
least ,i hope so4 ,and ,i infer that all
 the laws with which a  minister swells 
his portfolio1 are but useless papers   
which neither  enable us to live nor    
prevent us from living40    8,monsieur  
,coignard10 said the locksmith from     
,greenwich1 8it is easy to  see by the  
baseness of your talk that you are      
accustomed to servitude4  ,you would    
speak differently of statesmen and laws 
if you had1 as ,i  have1 the happiness  
to enjoy a free ,government40    8,mr4  

,shippen10 said the ,abb1 8true liberty 
is that of a soul  enfranchised from the
 vanities of this world4 ,as for public 
liberty1 ,i  do not care a cherrystone  
for it6 ,it is an illusion which        
flatters the  vanity of the ignorant40  
8,you confirm me in the idea10 said ,mr4
 ,shippen1 8that the ,french are  mere  
monkeys40    8,allow me10 said my       
father1 brandishing his larding-pin1    
8there are  lions also to be found      
amongst them40    8,only citizens fail  
you then10 retorted ,mr4 ,shippen4 8,all
 the world  discusses public matters in 
the ,tuileries ,gardens1 without one    
reasonable notion resulting from their  
squabbles4 ,your population is  but a   
turbulent wild-beast show40    8,sir10  
said my good master1 8it is true that   
when human societies  attain to a       
certain degree of refinement1 they turn 
aside from the  manners of a menagerie1 
and that it is evidence of progress to  
live in  a cage1 instead of wandering   
miserably in the woods4 ,and this       

tendency  is common to all the countries
 of ,europe40    8,sir10 said the       
,greenwich locksmith1 8,england is no   
menagerie1 for she  has a ,parliament on
 which her ,ministers depend40          
8,sir10 said the ,abb1 8it may be that  
one day ,france will also have          
,ministers obedient to a ,parliament4   
,better still4 ,time brings many        
changes in the constitution of empires1 
and one can fancy that1 in  a century or
 two1 ,france may adopt popular         
government4 ,but1 sir1  secretaries of  
,state1 who count for little in our day1
 will then no  longer count for         
anything4 ,for instead of depending on  
the ,king1 from  whom they derive their 
period and power1 they will be subject  
to  public opinion1 and will share its  
instability4 ,it is to be remarked  that
 statesmen only exercise their power1   
with any force1 in absolute  monarchies1
 as is seen in the example of ,joseph   
the son of ,jacob1  ,pharaoh's          
,minister1 and in that of ,haman1       

,minister to ,ahasuerus1 who  played a  
great rle in the government2 the first  
in ,egypt1 the second  among the        
,persians4 ,it needed the coincidence of
 a strongly established  crown and a    
weak king1 in ,france1 to strengthen the
 arm of a ,richelieu4  ,under popular   
government1 ministers will become so    
impotent that even  their wickedness and
 stupidity will do harm no more4        
8,they will receive from the general    
assemblies only an uncertain  and       
precarious authority2 unable to indulge 
in far-flung hopes and  vast schemes1   
they will spend their ephemeral         
existence in wretched  expedients4 ,they
 will grow jaundiced in the unhappy     
effort to read  their orders on the five
 hundred faces of a crowd1 ignorant and 
at  cross-purposes2 they will languish  
in restless impotence4 ,they will       
become unused to foresee anything or    
prepare anything1 and they will  only   
study intrigue and falsehood4 ,they will
 fall from so low that  their fall will 

do them no harm1 and their names1       
chalked on the walls  by little         
scribbling school-boys1 will make the   
bourgeois laugh40    ,mr4 ,shippen      
shrugged his shoulders at this speech4  
8,it's possible10 he said1 8,i can well 
enough imagine the ,french in such  a   
state40    8,oh10 said my good master1  
8in that state the world will go on its 
way4  ,we shall still have to eat1 it is
 the great need which gives rise to  all
 others40    ,mr4 ,shippen said1 shaking
 out his pipe3    8,in the meanwhile    
they promise us a minister who will     
favour the  farmers1 but who will ruin  
trade if he has his way4 ,i must look to
 it1  for ,i am a locksmith at          
,greenwich1 and ,i shall call all the   
locksmiths  together and address them40 
,he put his pipe in his pocket and went 
out without saying good-night to  us4   
,,footnotes3    #d ,vide post1 p4 #agd4 
#e ,monsieur ,baiselance or             
,baisselance1 succeeded ,montaigne1     
considerably later1 as ,mayor of        

,bordeaux4 ,a4 ,f4          ,,vii       
,,the ,,new ,,ministry 7concluded7      
,after supper1 as it was a fine night1  
,abb ,jrme ,coignard took a  turn in the
 ,rue ,st4 ,jacques where the lamps were
 being lighted1 and  ,i had the honour  
to accompany him4 ,he stopped under the 
porch of ,st4  ,benot-le-,btourn1 and   
pointing with a plump hand1 shaped      
equally  well for scholastic            
demonstration and for delicate caress1  
at one of  the stone benches ranged on  
either side beneath the antique statues 
fouled with obscene scrawls4            
8,tournebroche1 my son10 said he1 8if   
you  are of the same turn of mind we    
will take the air for a moment or two   
on one of these well-polished old stones
 where so many beggars before  us have  
rested from their troubles4 ,perchance  
some of those countless  poor creatures 
have here held quite excellent talk     
among themselves4444  ,we shall run the 
risk of catching fleas4 ,but you1 my    
son1 being at  the amorous age1 may     

believe they are ,jeannette1 the viol   
player's1  or ,catherine1 the           
lace-maker's1 who are in the habit of   
bringing their  gallants here at dusk2  
and their bite will seem sweet to you4  
,that is  an illusion permitted to your 
youth4 ,for me1 who am past the age of  
these charming follies1 ,i shall tell   
myself that one must not give way  too  
much to the weakness of the flesh1 and  
that a philosopher must not  trouble    
about fleas which1 like all else in the 
world1 are among ,god's  mysteries40    
,so saying1 he sat down1 taking care not
 to disturb a small ,savoyard and  his  
marmoset who were sleeping their        
innocent sleep on the old stone  bench4 
,i sat down by his side4 ,the           
conversation which had occupied the     
dinner-hour came back to my mind3       
8,monsieur l',abb10 ,i asked this good  
master1 8you were speaking a  while ago 
of ministers4 ,those of the ,king did   
not impress you by their  clothes1 nor  
by their coaches1 nor by their genius1  

and you judged them  with the freedom of
 a mind which nothing astonishes4 ,then1
 considering  the lot of these officials
 in a popular state 7should it ever be  
established71 you showed them to us as  
wretched to excess and less  worthy of  
praise than of pity4 ,are you then1     
perhaps1 opposed to free  governments as
 revived from the republics of          
antiquity80    8,i am personally        
inclined to love popular government1 my 
son10 answered  my good master4 8,my    
humbleness of condition draws me towards
 it1  and ,holy ,writ1 of which ,i have 
made some study1 confirms me in this    
preference1 for the ,lord said in       
,ramah3 #8,the people of ,israel desired
  a king that ,i should not reign over  
them4' ,and ,he said1 #8,now this  will 
be the manner of king that shall reign  
over you3 he will take  your sons and   
appoint them for himself and for his    
chariots1 and to  be his horsemen1 and  
some shall run before his chariot4 ,and 
he will  take your daughters to be      

confectioners and to be cooks and to be 
bakers4' ,filias quoque vestras faciet  
sibi unguentarias et focarias et        
panificas4 ,that is said expressly in   
the ,book of ,kings1 and one still  sees
 that the monarch brings his subjects   
two grievous gifts3 war and  tithes4    
,and if it be true that monarchies are  
of ,divine institution  it is equally   
true that they present all the          
characteristics of human  imbecility and
 wickedness4 ,it is credible that       
,heaven has given them to  the people   
for their chastisement3 ,et tribuit eis 
petitionem eorum4         #8,often in   
,his anger ,he accepts our sacrifice1   
,his gifts are often the penalty of our 
crimes4'    8,i could quote1 my son1    
many fine passages from old authors     
where the  hatred of tyranny is         
described with admirable vigour4        
,finally1 ,i think  ,i have always shown
 some strength of soul in disdaining the
 pride of  the flesh1 and have1 quite as
 much as the ,jansenist ,blaise ,pascal1

 the  disgust for swashbucklers4 ,all   
these reasons speak to my heart and to  
my intelligence in favour of popular    
government4 ,i have made it the  subject
 of meditations1 which one day ,i shall 
put down in writing1 in  a work of that 
kind of which they say that one must    
break the bone  to find the marrow4 ,i  
want you to understand from that1 that  
,i shall  compose a new ,praise of      
,folly which will appear frivolity to   
the  frivolous1 but the wise will       
recognise wisdom under the cap and      
bells4  ,in short1 ,i shall be a second 
,erasmus2 following his example ,i shall
  teach the people by a learned and     
judicious playfulness4 ,and you will    
find1 my son1 in one chapter of this    
treatise1 every enlightenment  on the   
subject that interests you2 you will    
acquire a knowledge of  the condition of
 statesmen placed in dependence on      
popular states or  assemblies40    8,oh1
 ,monsieur l',abb60 ,i cried1 8how      
impatient ,i am to read this book6      

,when do you think it will be written80 
8,i do not know10 replied my good       
master1 8and truth to tell ,i think  ,i 
shall never write it4 ,plans made by man
 are often thwarted4 ,we  have no power 
over the smallest particle of the       
future1 and this  uncertainty common to 
,adam's race1 is carried to extremes in 
my case  by a long series of            
misfortunes4 ,that is why1 my son1 ,i   
despair of  ever being able to compose  
this respectable jest4 ,without giving  
you  a political treatise1 seated on    
this bench1 ,i will tell you at least   
how ,i came to have the idea of         
introducing into my imaginary book a    
chapter wherein would appear the        
weakness and spite of servants taken  on
 by good man ,demos when master1 if he  
ever become so1 of which ,i  am not     
quite decided1 for ,i do not meddle in  
prophecy1 leaving this  preoccupation to
 maidens who vaticinate after the manner
 of the sibyls  such as the ,cumean1 the
 ,persian1 or the ,tiburtine1 #8quarum  

insigne  virginitas est et virginitatis 
prmium divinatio4' ,let us then turn to 
our subject4 ,it is nearly twenty years 
since ,i lived in the pleasant  town of 
,sez1 where ,i was librarian to the     
,bishop4 ,some travelling  actors1 who  
chanced to pass1 gave a fairly good     
tragedy in a barn2  ,i went to it and   
saw a ,roman emperor appear whose wig   
was decorated  with more laurels than a 
ham at the fair of ,saint ,laurence4 ,he
 seated  himself in a curule chair2 his 
two ministers1 in court dress with their
  impressive insignia1 took their place 
on either side on stools1 and the  three
 formed a ,council of ,state before the 
footlights1 which stank  exceedingly4   
,eventually1 during the course of their 
deliberations1 one  of the councillors  
drew a satirical portrait of the consuls
 during the  latter period of the       
,republic4 ,he showed them as impatient 
to use and  abuse their temporary       
power--enemies of the public good1 and  
jealous of  their successors1 in whom   

they were only assured of seeing        
accomplices  to their robbery and       
peculation4 ,this is how he spoke3      
#8,these little monarchs1 reigning for a
 year1       ,seeing the limit of their 
rule so near1       ,spoil the green    
fruit1 of fairest seed and growth1      
,rather than leave what they to leave   
are loath4       ,since they have little
 part in what they wield1       ,take a 
full harvest from the public field1     
,assured of pardon1 for their easy heirs
       ,hope for like treatment when the
 turn is theirs4'#f    8,well1 my son1  
these lines which1 by their sententious 
precision  recall the quatrains of      
,pibrac1 are more excellent as regards  
meaning  than the rest of the tragedy1  
which smells a little too much of the   
pompous frivolities of the princes'     
,fronde1 and is altogether spoilt  by   
the heroic love-affairs of a kind of    
,duchesse de ,longueville1 who  appears 
under the name of milie4 ,i took care to
 remember them so as  to meditate upon  

them4 ,for one finds beautiful maxims   
even in works  written for the theatre4 
,what the poet says in these eight      
lines1 on  consuls of the ,roman        
,republic1 applies equally well to      
ministers of  democracies whose power is
 precarious4    8,they are weak1 my son1
 because they depend on a popular       
assembly1  incapable equally of the     
large and profound views of a           
politician1  and of the innocent        
stupidity of an idle king4 ,ministers   
are only  great if they second1 as did  
,sully1 an intelligent prince1 or if1   
like  ,richelieu1 they take the place of
 the monarch4 ,and who does not feel    
that ,demos will have neither the       
obstinate prudence of a ,henry ,,iv1    
nor the favourable inertia of a ,louis  
,,xiii8 ,even supposing he knows  what  
he wants he will not know how to carry  
out his wishes1 nor even  if they be    
feasible4 ,ordering ill1 he will be     
badly obeyed1 and will  always believe  
himself betrayed4 ,the deputies he will 

send to his  ,states-,general will keep 
up his illusions by ingenious lies up to
 the  moment of falling under his unjust
 or legitimate suspicions4 ,these       
states will perpetuate the same confused
 mediocrity as the mob from  which they 
spring4 ,they will revolve multiple and 
obscure thoughts4  ,they will give the  
heads of government the task of carrying
 out vague  wishes of which they        
themselves are not conscious1 and their 
ministers1  more unhappy than dipus in  
the fable1 will be devoured1 each in    
turn1  by the ,sphinx with a hundred    
heads for not having guessed the riddle 
of which the ,sphinx herself was        
ignorant4 ,the source of their greatest 
unhappiness will be their enforced      
resignation to impotence1 and to  talk  
instead of action4 ,they will become    
rhetoricians and very bad  rhetoricians1
 for talent1 bringing some clarity with 
it1 will be their  undoing4 ,they will  
have to train themselves to speak       
without saying  anything1 and the least 

foolish amongst them will be condemned  
to lie  more than all the others4 ,so1  
the most intelligent will become the    
most despicable4 ,and if any are to be  
found clever enough to conclude         
treaties1 regulate finance1 and see to  
business1 their knowledge will  serve   
them nothing1 for time will fail them1  
and time is the stuff of  great         
undertakings4    8,these humiliating    
conditions will discourage the good and 
lend  ambition to the bad4 ,from all    
sides1 ambitious incompetence will rise 
from the depth of struggling villages to
 the first posts in the ,state1  and as 
probity is not natural to mankind1 but  
must be cultivated  with great care and 
long-continued artifice1 we shall see   
clouds of  peculators fall on the public
 treasury4 ,the evil will be much       
increased  by the outburst of scandal1  
for1 as it is difficult to hide anything
  under popular government1 by the fault
 of some all will become suspect4    8,i
 do not conclude from this1 my son1 that

 people will be more unhappy  then than 
they are now1 ,i have told you often    
enough in our former  conversations that
 ,i do not think the fate of a nation   
depends on  its prince and its          
ministers1 and it is ascribing too much 
virtue to  laws to make them the source 
of general prosperity or unhappiness4   
,nevertheless1 the multitude of laws is 
grievous1 and ,i also fear that  the    
,states-,general will abuse their       
legislative powers4    8,it is the      
harmless foible of ,colin and ,jeannot  
to frame laws while  they keep their    
sheep1 and to say3 #8,if ,i were king6' 
,when ,jeannot  is king he will         
promulgate more edicts in a year than   
the ,emperor  ,justinian codified during
 all his reign4 ,it is in that          
direction1  it seems to me1 that        
,jeannot's reign will prove formidable4 
,but  that of kings and emperors was    
usually so bad one could not fear a     
worse1 and ,jeannot1 no doubt1 will not 
commit many more follies1  nor          

wickednesses1 than all those princes    
girt with the double or  triple crown1  
who1 since the deluge1 have covered the 
world with  blood and destruction4 ,his 
very incapacity and turbulence will have
  this much good in them that they will 
render impossible those learned         
correspondences between country and     
country we call diplomacy1  which end in
 nothing but in the artistic lighting-up
 of useless and  disastrous wars4 ,the  
ministers of good man ,demos unceasingly
 kicked1  hustled1 humiliated1 thrown   
down and assailed with more rotten      
apples  and eggs than the worst         
harlequin in a booth at a fair1 will    
have no  leisure to prepare carnage     
politely1 in the secrecy and peace of   
the  cabinet1 on the board of green     
cloth1 by conferences in regard to what 
is called the balance of ,europe1 which 
is but the happy hunting-ground  of the 
diplomat4 ,there will be no more foreign
 policy1 and that will be  a great thing
 for unhappy humanity40    ,at these    

words my good master rose up1 and       
continued as follows3 8,it is  time to  
go in1 my son1 for ,i feel the dew      
penetrate by reason that my  clothes are
 in holes in various places4 ,also1 by  
remaining any longer  under this porch1 
we risk frightening away the lovers of  
,catherine and  ,jeannette1 who here    
await the hour of tryst40               
,,footnotes3    #f         ,ces petits  
souverains qu'on fait pour une anne1    
,voyant d'un temps si court leur        
puissance borne1       ,des plus heureux
 desseins font avorter le fruit1        
,de peur de le laisser  celui que les   
suit4       ,comme ils ont peu de part  
aux biens dont ils ordonnent1           
,dans le champ du public largement ils  
moissonnent1       ,assurs que chacun   
leur pardonne aisment1       ,esprant   
son tour un pareil traitement4          
,,viii    ,,the ,,city ,,magistrates    
,that evening we betook ourselves1 my   
master and ,i1 to the arbour of  the    
,petit ,bacchus1 where we found         

,catherine the lace-maker1 the  lame    
cutler1 and the father who begot me4    
,they were all seated at the  same table
 before a jug of wine1 of which they had
 taken enough to be  pleasant and       
sociable4    ,two magistrates had just  
been elected according to form1 out of  
four1  and my father was talking of it1 
according to the measure of his lights  
and his talents4    8,the pity is10 said
 he1 8that these city magistrates are   
gentlemen of  the long robe1 and not    
cooks1 and that they hold their         
magistracy from  the king1 and not from 
the tradesmen1 notably not from the     
corporation  of ,parisian cooks of which
 ,i am the banner-bearer4 ,if they were 
of my  choosing they would abolish      
tithes and the salt tax1 and we should  
all be happy4444 ,at any rate1 if the   
world does not walk backwards  like a   
crab1 a day will come when magistrates  
will be elected by the  tradesmen40     
8,no doubt10 said ,monsieur l',abb1     
8magistrates will one day be elected  by

 the masters and their apprentices40    
8,mind what you are saying1 ,monsieur   
l',abb10 said my father anxiously1  and 
drawing his brows together4 8,when      
apprentices mix themselves up  with the 
election of magistrates all will be     
lost4 ,in the days when  ,i was         
apprenticed ,i thought of nothing but of
 misappropriating my  master's wife and 
goods4 ,but since ,i own a shop and a   
wife ,i attend to  the public interest1 
in which my own is bound up40           
,lesturgeon1 our landlord1 brought a jug
 of wine4 ,he was a small1  red-haired  
man1 quick1 and rough4    8,you speak of
 the new magistrates10 he said1 his     
hands on his hips1 8,i  only wish them  
as much wisdom as the old ones1 who were
 nevertheless  not very knowing about   
the public welfare4 ,but they were      
beginning  to learn their business4 ,you
 know1 ,monsieur ,lonard 7he spoke to my
  father71 the school where the children
 of the ,rue ,st4 ,jacques go to  learn 
their alphabet1 is built of wood1 and a 

slow match and a few  shavings would    
suffice to make it blaze like a         
veritable midsummer  night's bonfire4 ,i
 warned the gentlemen of the ,htel de   
,ville about it4  ,my letter did not err
 in style for ,i had it written for     
sixpence by a  scrivener who has a stall
 under the ,val-de-,grace4 ,i           
represented to the  magistrate that all 
the small boys of the neighbourhood were
 in daily  danger of being grilled1 like
 chitterlings1 which was a matter for   
thought1 having regard to the           
sensibility of mothers4 ,the magistrate 
who has to do with the schools answered 
politely1 after a year had  elapsed1    
that the danger run by the small boys of
 the ,rue ,st4 ,jacques  roused all his 
solicitude1 and that he was eager to    
remove it1 and1 in  consequence he was  
sending a fire-engine to the            
afore-mentioned pupils4  #8,the king1'  
he added1 #8having in his goodness built
 a fountain in  commemoration of his    
victories1 at two hundred paces from the

 school1  water would not be lacking1   
and the children will learn in a few    
days  to manage the engine which the    
town consents to grant them free4'      
8,on reading this letter ,i jumped to   
the ceiling4 ,and returning to          
,val-de-,grace ,i dictated a reply to   
the scrivener as follows3               
8#8,honoured ,city-magistrate--,sir1 in 
the schoolhouse of the ,rue ,st4        
,jacques are two hundred youngsters1 of 
whom the oldest is but seven  years of  
age4 ,these are fine firemen1 sir1 to   
work your fire-engine4  ,take it back   
again1 and have a schoolhouse built of  
stone and rubble4'    8,this letter1    
like the former one1 cost me sixpence1  
including the  seal4 ,but ,i did not    
lose my money1 for1 after twenty months 
had  passed1 ,i received a reply in     
which the magistrate assured me that    
the youngsters of the ,rue ,st4 ,jacques
 were worthy of the care of the         
,parisian magistrates1 who would        
prudently watch over their safety4 ,we  

remain there4 ,if my magistrate leaves  
his post ,i shall have to begin  all    
over again1 and pay a shilling once more
 to the scrivener in the                
,val-de-,grace4 ,that is why1 ,monsieur 
,lonard1 although ,i am firmly          
convinced there are faces at the        
town-hall which would be better  fitted 
to play the buffoon at a fair1 ,i have  
not the slightest desire  to see new    
faces there1 and ,i particularly wish to
 keep him of the  fire-engine40    8,for
 my part10 said ,catherine1 8it is the  
,lieutenant-,criminel ,i have  a grudge 
against4 ,he allows ,jeannette1 the viol
 player1 to prowl about  every day1 at  
twilight1 under the porch of ,st4       
,benot-le-,btourn4  ,it is a disgrace4  
,she walks through the streets with a   
kerchief tied  round her head1 and      
trails her dirty skirts through every   
gutter in the  place4 ,the public places
 should be reserved for girls well      
turned-out  enough to show themselves   
with credit40    8,oh6 ,i reckon the    

pavement belongs to all the world10 said
 the lame  cutler4 8,and one of these   
days ,i shall follow the example of our 
landlord1 ,lesturgeon1 and go to the    
scrivener in the ,val-de-,grace  to get 
him to draw up1 in my name1 a fine      
petition in favour of  poor hawkers4 ,i 
cannot push my cart into a good position
 but ,i am  at once bothered by the     
police1 and as soon as a lackey or a    
couple  of servant-girls stop at my     
stall1 a big1 black rascal turns up and 
orders me1 in the name of the law1 to go
 and undo my bundle elsewhere4          
,sometimes ,i am on ground rented by the
 market people1 at others1 ,i find      
myself a near neighbour of ,monsieur    
,leborgne1 sworn cutler4 ,another  time 
,i must yield the pavement to the       
carriage of a bishop or a prince4  ,and 
there ,i am1 getting into my harness and
 pulling at the straps1  happy if the   
lackeys and the chambermaids have not   
carried off without  payment1 profiting 
by my awkwardness1 a needle-case1 some  

scissors1 or  a fine blade from         
,chatellerault4 ,i am sick of suffering 
tyranny4 ,i am  sick of experiencing the
 injustice of the justiciaries4 ,i feel 
a great  desire to revolt40    8,i know 
from that sign10 said my good master1   
8that you are a  magnanimous cutler40   
8,i am not at all magnanimous1 ,monsieur
 l',abb10 modestly replied the  cripple1
 8,i am vindictive1 and resentment has  
pushed me to sell1  in secret1 songs    
written against the king1 his           
mistresses1 and his  ministers4 ,i keep 
a fairly good assortment in the tilt of 
my cart4 ,do  not betray me4 ,that of   
the twelve reed-pipes is admirable40    
8,i will not betray you10 answered my   
father1 8a good song is worth  a glass  
of wine to me1 and even more1 ,i do not 
say anything either  about the knives1  
and ,i am glad1 my good fellow1 that you
 sell yours1  for all the world must    
live4 ,but acknowledge that one cannot  
allow  wandering hawkers to enter into  
competition with tradesmen who rent  a  

shop and pay taxes4 ,nothing is more    
contrary to law and order4 ,the         
impudence of these draggle-tails is     
unspeakable4 ,how far would it not  go  
were it not checked4 ,last year did not 
a peasant from ,montrouge  come to a    
stop in front of the ,reine ,pdauque    
with his little cart  full of pigeons   
that he was selling1 ready cooked1 for  
two liards and  a sou cheaper than ,i   
sell mine6 ,and the bumpkin cried1 in a 
voice fit  to crack the windows of my   
shop1 #8,beautiful pigeons for five     
sous4' ,i  threatened him twenty times  
with my larding-pin4 ,but he answered   
me1  stupidly1 that the street belonged 
to all the world4 ,i made a complaint   
to the ,lieutenant-,criminel who saw    
justice done1 and rid me of the         
villain4 ,i do not know what has become 
of him1 but ,i owe him a grudge  for the
 harm he did me1 for the sight of my    
usual customers1 buying  his pigeons1 by
 couples1 nay even by half-dozens1 gave 
me an attack of  jaundice1 from the     

effect of which ,i became melancholy for
 a long time4  ,i wish they'd stick as  
many feathers on his body1 with glue1 as
 he had  plucked from the winged        
creatures he sold ready-cooked in my    
very face1  and that thus be-feathered  
from head to foot he was led through the
  streets at the tail of his cart40     
8,monsieur ,lonard10 said the lame      
cutler1 8you are hard on poor people4   
,it is thus the unfortunate are driven  
to desperation40    8,master ,cutler1 ,i
 counsel you10 said my good master1     
laughing1 8to  order at the ,innocents  
by some paid writer1 a satire on ,matre 
,lonard  and to sell it along with your 
songs on the twelve pipes of ,king      
,louis4  ,our friend here should be     
celebrated a little1 who1 in a          
semi-servile  state1 aspires1 not to    
freedom but to tyranny4 ,i conclude from
 all your  talking1 gentlemen1 that the 
policing of towns is a difficult art1   
that one must try and reconcile diverse 
and often contrary interests1  that the 

public welfare is made up of a large    
number of private and  individual woes1 
and that in fact1 it is already rather  
wonderful that  people shut up within   
walls do not devour one another4 ,it is 
a blessing  one must attribute to their 
poltroonery4 ,public peace is founded   
simply  on the feeble courage of        
citizens who hold each other in respect 
by  reason of their reciprocal fear4    
,and the prince1 in inspiring all with  
awe1 assures to them the inestimable    
benefit of peace4 ,as to your           
magistrates1 whose power is weak1 and   
who are incapable of serving or  of     
injuring you much1 and whose merits     
consist chiefly in their tall  canes and
 wigs1 do not complain overmuch that    
they are chosen by the  king and ranked1
 or little short of it1 since the last  
reign1 with  officers of the ,crown4    
,friends of the prince1 they are vaguely
 inimical  to all citizens1 and this    
enmity is rendered bearable to each by  
the  perfect equality with which it     

bears upon all4 ,it is like rain1 of    
which one with another we receive but a 
few drops4 ,one day1 when they  are     
elected by the people 7as they tell us  
they were in the early days  of the     
monarchy7 magistrates will have friends 
and foes in the town4  ,elected by the  
shop-people1 paying rent and tithes1    
they will ill-use  the hawkers4 ,elected
 by the hawkers1 they will ill-use the  
tradesmen4  ,elected by the artisans1   
they will be in opposition to the       
masters1  who make the artisans work4   
,it will be an incessant cause of       
dispute  and quarrels4 ,they will form a
 turbulent council where each will      
agitate for the interests and passions  
of his electors4 ,nevertheless1  ,i     
fancy they will not make the present    
magistrates regretted who only  depend  
on the prince4 ,their clamorous vanity  
will amuse the citizens  who will see   
themselves as in an enlarging mirror4   
,they will employ  mediocre powers after
 a mediocre fashion4 ,risen from the    

mass of the  people they will be as     
incapable of fostering it as of         
restraining  it4 ,the rich will be      
frightened at their audacity1 and the   
poor will  blame their fearfulness1     
whereas they will really display only   
noise  and impotence4 ,for the rest1    
they may be equal to common tasks1 and  
to administering the public wealth with 
that insufficient sufficiency  which    
they always attain to and never get     
beyond40    8,ouf60 said my father1 8you
 have spoken well1 ,monsieur l',abb--now
  drink60          ,,ix    ,,science    
,that day we tramped as far as the ,pont
 ,neuf1 my good master and ,i1  where   
the recesses were covered with those    
trestles on which the  second-hand      
booksellers expose a conglomeration of  
romances and books  of devotion4 ,there 
one may find at twopence apiece the     
complete  ,astre and the ,grand ,cyrus1 
worn and thumbed by provincial readers1 
with the 8,ointment for ,burns10 and    
divers works of the ,jesuits4 ,my  good 

master was accustomed1 in passing1 to   
read some pages of these  works1 of     
which he made no purchase1 being out of 
funds1 and wisely  keeping for the      
,petit ,bacchus the sixpence he happened
 by a rare  chance to have in his       
breeches' pocket4 ,for the rest1 he did 
not thirst  to possess the good things  
of this world1 and the best works did   
not  make him envious so long as he     
could get acquainted with the noble     
passages in them1 on which he expatiated
 afterwards with admirable  wisdom4 ,the
 trestles of the ,pont ,neuf pleased him
 in that the books  were impregnated    
with the smell of frying from the near  
neighbourhood  of the hot-potato        
sellers1 and this great man inhaled at  
the same time  the welcome fragrance of 
cooking and of science4    ,adjusting   
his spectacles1 he examined the display 
of a second-hand  dealer with the       
contentment of a happy soul1 to which   
all things are  gracious1 for all things
 gain a grace from their reflection in  

it4    8,tournebroche1 my son10 he said 
to me1 8there are books to be found on  
the stall of this good man1 fashioned in
 the days when printing was1  so to     
speak1 in its swaddling-clothes1 and    
these books still suffer  from the      
effects of the roughness of our         
forbears4 ,i find a barbarous  chronicle
 of ,monstrelet1 an author said to have 
been more frothy than  a pot of mustard1
 and two or three lives of ,ste4        
,marguerite1 which the  gossips of old  
put as a compress on their stomachs     
during the pains  of childbirth4 ,it    
would be inconceivable that men could be
 so idiotic  as to write and to read    
similar absurdities1 if our holy        
religion  did not teach us that they are
 born with a germ of imbecility4 ,and   
as the light of faith has never failed  
me1 not even1 happily1 in the  sins of  
the couch or of the table1 ,i can more  
easily understand  their past stupidity 
than their present intelligence1 which1 
to speak  frankly1 appears to me        

illusory and deceptive1 as it will seem 
to  future generations1 for man is in   
his essence a stupid animal1 and the    
progress of his mind is but the empty   
consequence of his restlessness4  ,that 
is the reason1 my son1 that ,i mistrust 
what they call science  and philosophy1 
which are1 to my mind1 but an abuse of  
visions1 and  fallacious figures1 and1  
in a certain sense1 the advantage gained
 by  the evil spirit over the soul4 ,you
 will understand that ,i am far from    
believing all the devilries with which  
popular credulity frightens  itself4 ,i 
think with the ,fathers that temptation 
is within us1 and  that we are to       
ourselves our own demons and            
bedevilments4 ,but ,i bear  a grudge    
against ,monsieur ,descartes and against
 all the philosophers  who1 following   
his example1 have searched for a rule of
 life and the  principles of conduct in 
the knowledge of nature4 ,for1 after    
all1  ,tournebroche1 my son1 what is    
knowledge of nature if it be not a      

fantasy of the senses8 ,and what does   
science add to it1 ,i ask you1  with its
 savants1 from the time of ,gassendi1   
who was no donkey1 and  ,descartes and  
his disciples1 down to that precious    
fool1 ,monsieur de  ,fontenelle8 ,large 
spectacles1 my son1 spectacles like     
those which sit  on my nose4 ,all the   
microscopes and telescopes which we make
 a show  of1 what are they but glasses a
 little clearer than these of mine1 that
  ,i bought last year at the fair of    
,st4 ,laurence1 of which the glass  for 
the left eye1 the one ,i see the best   
with1 was unhappily cracked  this winter
 by a footstool flung at my head by the 
lame cutler1 who  fancied ,i was kissing
 ,catherine the lace-maker1 for he is a 
coarse  man1 and utterly obfuscated by  
his visions of carnal desires4 ,yes1    
,tournebroche1 my son1 what are these   
instruments with which the savants  and 
the curious fill their galleries and    
their cabinets8 ,what are  spectacles1  
astrolabes1 compasses1 if not the means 

of helping the  senses to keep their    
illusions1 and to multiply our fatal    
ignorance  of nature while we multiply  
our relations with her8 ,the most       
learned  among us differ merely from the
 ignorant by the faculty they acquire   
of amusing themselves with manifold and 
complicated errors4 ,they see  the world
 in a faceted topaz1 instead of seeing  
it as does ,madame1 your  mother1 for   
instance1 with the naked eye the good   
,god has given her4  ,but they do not   
alter their eyes in donning spectacles2 
they do not  alter dimensions in using  
apparatus proper to the measurement of  
space2  they do not alter the weight of 
things in using very sensitive scales4  
,they discover new appearances merely1  
and are but the plaything  of new       
illusions4 ,that is all6 ,if ,i were not
 convinced1 my son1 of  the holy truths 
of our religion1 there would be left to 
me in this  conviction1 which ,i hold1  
that all human knowledge is but a       
progress  in phantasmagoria1 nothing but

 to throw myself from this parapet into 
the ,seine1 which has seen many others  
drown since she began to flow1 or  to go
 and ask of ,catherine that form of     
oblivion from the ills of this  world   
which one finds in her arms1 and for    
which it would be indecent  for me to   
look1 in my position1 and above all1 at 
my age4 ,i should not  know what to     
believe in the midst of all this        
apparatus1 whose powerful  deceptions   
would increase immeasurably the         
falsehood of my outlook and  ,i should  
be an entirely miserable academician40  
,my good master was talking in this     
fashion before the first recess  to the 
left1 counting from the ,rue ,dauphine1 
and he was beginning to  frighten the   
dealer who took him for an exorcist1    
when he suddenly  picked up an old      
geometry1 illustrated with sufficiently 
bad cuts by  ,sebastien ,leclerc4#g     
8,perhaps10 he said1 8instead of        
drowning myself in love or in water1  if
 ,i were not a ,christian and a         

,catholic1 ,i should decide to throw    
myself into the study of mathematics    
where the mind finds the aliment  of    
which it is most in need1 to wit3       
sequence and continuity4 ,and ,i vow    
that this little book1 quite ordinary as
 it is1 gives me a certain good  opinion
 of man's genius40    ,at these words he
 opened the treatise by ,sebastien      
,leclerc so widely1  at the section     
concerning triangles1 that he nearly    
broke it clean in  two4 ,but soon he    
flung it down in disgust4    8,alas10 he
 murmured1 8numbers depend on time1     
lines on space1 and these  again are but
 human illusions4 ,without man there is 
neither mathematics  nor geometry1 and  
it is1 after all1 but a form of         
knowledge which does  not draw us out of
 ourselves1 although it affects an air  
of quite  magnificent independence40    
,having spoken1 he turned his back on   
the relieved bookstall-keeper1 and  drew
 a long breath4    8,ah6 ,tournebroche1 
my son10 he continued1 8you see me      

suffering from an  ill that ,i have     
brought on myself1 and burnt with the   
fiery tunic with  which ,i have been at 
such pains to clothe and deck myself40  
,he spoke thus in a fanciful fashion1   
being in reality clad in a  shocking old
 overcoat generally held together by two
 or three buttons  which1 moreover1 were
 not even fastened in their own         
button-holes1 and1  as he was accustomed
 to say laughingly1 when one spoke to   
him of it1 it  was an adulterous        
connection1 a presentation of city      
manners6    ,he spoke with warmth3      
8,i hate science10 said he1 8for having 
loved it too much1 after the  manner of 
voluptuaries who reproach women with not
 having come up to  the dream they      
formed of them4 ,i wanted to know       
everything1 and ,i  suffer to-day for my
 culpable folly4 ,happy10 added he1 8oh6
 very happy  are those good people      
assembled round that vendor of quack    
medicines40    ,and he pointed with his 
hand to the lackeys1 the chambermaids1  

and the  porters of ,st4 ,nicolas1      
forming a circle round a practitioner   
who was  giving a demonstration with his
 attendant4    8,look1 ,tournebroche10  
said he1 8they laugh heartily when that 
funny  fellow kicks the other man's     
behind4 ,and in truth it is a pleasant  
sight1 quite spoilt for me by thinking  
about it1 for when one looks  for the   
essence of this foot and the rest of it1
 one laughs no more4  ,i ought1 being a 
,christian1 to have recognised earlier  
the malignity  of that heathen saying1  
#8,happy is he who knows the cause of   
things4' ,i  ought to have shut myself  
in holy ignorance as in an enclosed     
garden1  and remained as the little     
children4 ,i should not truly have been 
amused with the coarse play of this     
,mondor 7this ,molire of the ,pont      
,neuf would have had little attraction  
for me when his prototype already       
appears to me too scurrilous#h71 but ,i 
should have found pleasure in  the      
plants of my garden1 ,i should have     

praised ,god in the flowers and  fruit  
of my apple-trees4    8,an immoderate   
curiosity has led me astray my son2 ,i  
have lost1 in  the intercourse with     
books and learned men1 the peace of     
heart1  holy simplicity1 and that purity
 of the simple-minded1 all the more     
admirable in that it falters neither in 
the tavern nor in the hovel2  as may be 
seen in the example of the lame cutler1 
and1 if ,i dare say  so1 in that of your
 father1 the cook1 who retains much     
innocence  though drunken and debauched4
 ,but it is not thus with him who has   
studied books4 ,they leave1 eternally1 a
 bitter superiority1 and a proud        
sadness40    ,talking thus1 his speech  
was cut off by the roll of drums4       
,,footnotes3    #g ,the geometry of     
which ,jacques ,tournebroche speaks is  
decorated  with designs by ,sebastien   
,leclerc which ,i1 on the contrary1     
admire for  their precise elegance and  
delicate exactitude1 but one must endure
  contradiction 7,,anatole ,,france74   

#h ,it is a priest speaking thus        
7,,anatole ,,france74          ,x       
,,the ,,army      ,so1 being on the     
,pont ,neuf1 we heard the roll of drums4
 ,it was the call  to attention of a    
recruiting-sergeant1 who1 hand on hip1  
was strutting  in an open space in front
 of a dozen soldiers1 who were carrying 
bread  and sausages spiked on the       
bayonets of their guns4 ,a circle of    
beggars  and youngsters looked on       
open-mouthed4    ,he twirled his        
moustache and made his proclamation4    
8,do not let us listen to him10 said my 
good master to me4 8,it would  be waste 
of time4 ,this sergeant speaks in the   
king's name4 ,he has no  talent for     
speaking4 ,if it would please you to    
hear a clever discourse  on the same    
subject you should go into one of those 
bakehouses on the  ,quai de la          
,ferraille1 where the crimps cajole the 
lackeys and bumpkins4  ,these crimps1   
being rascals1 are bound to be eloquent4
 ,i remember1 in  my youth1 in the time 

of the late king1 having heard the most 
wonderful  harangue from the mouth of   
one of these dealers in men1 who kept   
shop  in the ,unhappy ,valley1 which you
 can see from here1 my son4 ,recruiting 
men for the ,colonies3 #8,young men who 
surround me1' said he1 #8you have  no   
doubt heard tell of the ,land of        
,cockayne2 it is to ,india you must  go 
to find this land of fortune1 where one 
is in clover4 ,do you wish  for gold1   
pearls1 diamonds8 ,the roads are paved  
with them1 one has but  to stoop to pick
 them up4 ,and you need not even stoop4 
,the savages  will pick them up for you4
 ,i do not even mention the coffee1 the 
lemons1 pomegranates1 oranges1          
pineapples1 and the thousand delicious  
fruits which grow without cultivation as
 in an earthly paradise4 ,did  ,i speak 
to women and children ,i might extol all
 these dainties1 but  ,i am talking to  
men4' ,i omit1 my son1 all that he said 
about glory1  but you may believe he    
equalled ,demosthenes in vigour and     

,cicero in  fluency4 ,the result of his 
discourse was the sending of five or six
  unhappy beings to die of yellow fever 
in the swamps1 so true is it  that      
eloquence is a dangerous weapon1 and    
that talent for the arts  exercises its 
irresistible force for evil as well as  
for good4 ,thank  ,god1 ,tournebroche1  
in that1 not having given you talents of
 any kind1  ,he does not expose you to  
become one day the scourge of nations4  
,one  recognises the favourites of ,god 
by their lack of wit1 and ,i have       
experienced that the fairly quick       
intelligence heaven has given me has    
been but an unceasing cause of danger to
 my peace in this world and in  the     
next4 ,what would it be if the heart and
 thought of a ,csar dwelt in  my head   
and my breast8 ,my desires would        
recognise no sex and ,i should  be      
untouched by pity4 ,i should light the  
fire of inextinguishable war  at home   
and abroad4 ,and yet the great ,csar had
 a delicate soul and a  certain         

gentleness4 ,he died decently under the 
dagger of his virtuous  assassins4 ,day 
of the ,ides of ,march6 ,ever fatal day1
 when sententious  brutes destroyed this
 charming monster6 ,i am fain to weep   
over the  divine ,julius along with     
,venus1 his mother1 and if ,i call him a
 monster  it is from affection1 for in  
his equable soul nothing was excessive  
save power4 ,he had a natural feeling   
for rhythm and proportion4 ,he  found   
equal pleasure in his youth in the      
beauties of debauchery or  those of     
grammar4 ,he was an orator1 and his     
beauty doubtless ornamented  the        
purposed dryness of his speeches4 ,he   
loved ,cleopatra with that  geometric   
exactitude that he brought to all his   
doings4 ,he put in his  writings and in 
his actions his talent for clarity4 ,he 
was the friend  of order and peace1 even
 in war1 sensitive to harmony1 and so   
able  a maker of laws that we still     
live1 barbarians as we are1 under the   
majesty of his rule1 which has made the 

world what it is to-day4 ,you  see1 my  
son1 ,i am not sparing in praise or love
 for him4 ,commander1  dictator1        
sovereign-pontiff he moulded the world  
with his beautiful  hands4 ,and ,i--,i1 
have been professor of eloquence at the 
college of  ,beauvais1 secretary to an  
opera-singer1 librarian to my ,lord     
,bishop of  ,sez1 public-writer at the  
cemetery of the ,holy ,innocents1 and   
tutor  to the son of your father at the 
sign of the ,reine ,pdauque4 ,i have    
made a beautiful catalogue of precious  
manuscripts1 ,i have written some       
pamphlets1 of which it is best not to   
speak1 and set down on wastepaper       
certain maxims scornfully declined by   
the booksellers4 ,nevertheless1  ,i     
would not change my existence for that  
of the great ,csar4 ,it would  cost my  
innocence too much4 ,and ,i would rather
 be an obscure man1  poor and despised1 
as indeed ,i am1 than rise to the height
 whence new  destinies are opened to the
 world through paths of blood4    8,this

 recruiting-sergeant1 whom you can hear 
from here promising  these vagabonds a  
halfpenny a day1 with bread and meat1   
fills me1 my  son1 with profound        
reflections on war and armies4 ,i have  
worked at  all trades save that of a    
soldier1 which has always filled me with
  disgust and terror1 by the            
characteristics of servitude1 false     
glory1  and cruelty1 attached to it1    
which are in direct opposition to my    
peaceful temper1 to my wild love of     
freedom1 and to my turn of mind1  which1
 judging sanely of glory1 estimates at  
its rightful worth that  attainable by a
 musketeer4 ,i am not speaking at all of
 my incorrigible  leaning to meditation 
which would have been exceedingly       
thwarted by  sword and gun exercise4    
,not desirous of being ,csar you will   
easily  understand that neither do ,i   
wish to be a ,la ,tulipe or             
,brin-d',amour4  ,and ,i own to you1 my 
son1 that military service seems to me  
to be the  most terrible pest of        

civilised nations4    8,this is the     
opinion of a philosopher4 ,there is     
nothing to show that it  will ever be   
shared by a large number of people4 ,and
 in actual fact1  kings and republics   
will always find as many soldiers as    
they want for  their parades and their  
wars4 ,i have read ,machiavelli's       
treatises at  ,monsieur ,blaizot's1 at  
the sign of the ,image de ,sainte       
,catherine1  where they are all very    
nicely bound in parchment4 ,they deserve
 it  my son1 and1 for my part1 ,i hold  
an infinitely high opinion of the       
,florentine secretary1 who was the first
 to remove from political action  the   
legendary foundation of justice1 on     
which they set up nothing but  highly   
respectable villainies4 ,this           
,florentine1 seeing his country at  the 
mercy of its hireling defenders1        
conceived the idea of a national  and   
patriotic army4 ,he says somewhere in   
his books that it is right  that all    
citizens should unite for the safety of 

their country and all  be soldiers4 ,i  
have likewise heard this theory         
sustained at ,monsieur  ,blaizot's by   
,monsieur ,roman1 who is very zealous1  
as you know1 for  state rights4 ,he has 
no care save for the general1 and the   
universal1  and will never be content   
until the day when every private        
interest is  sacrificed to the public   
interest4 ,thus ,machiavelli and        
,monsieur ,roman  wish us all to be     
soldiers1 since we are all citizens4 ,i 
do not say1  as do they1 that it is     
just1 nor do ,i say that it is unjust1  
because  justice and injustice are      
matter for debate1 and it is a subject  
which  only sophists can decide40       
8,what6 my good master10 ,i cried in    
sorrow and surprise1 8you hold that     
justice depends on the reasoning of a   
sophist1 and that our actions are  just 
or unjust according to the arguments of 
a clever man6 ,such a maxim  shocks me  
more than ,i can say40                  
8,tournebroche1 my son10 replied        

,monsieur l',abb ,coignard1 8you must   
consider that ,i speak of human justice1
 which is different from ,god's         
justice1 and generally opposed to it4   
,men have never upheld the idea  of     
justice and injustice save by eloquence 
which is prone to embrace  the for and  
against4 ,perhaps1 my son1 you would    
seat justice on  sentiment1 but beware  
lest on this petty site you merely raise
 some  humble domestic hovel1 some cabin
 of old ,evander1 or hut for a ,philemon
  and ,baucis4 ,but the palace of law1  
the tower of ,state institutions1  needs
 other foundations4 ,ingenuous nature   
alone could not support such  weight of 
inequity1 and these redoubtable walls   
rise from a foundation  of most ancient 
falsehood1 by the subtle and fierce art 
of law-givers1  magistrates1 and        
princes4 ,it is folly1 ,tournebroche my 
son1 to enquire  if a law be just or    
unjust1 and it is the same of military  
service as  of other institutions of    
which one cannot say if they be good or 

bad on  principle1 since there is no    
principle saving ,god1 from ,whom all   
things  come4 ,you must protect         
yourself1 my son1 against this kind of  
slavery  to words1 to which men submit  
themselves with such docility4 ,know    
then1 that the word justice has no      
meaning1 if it be not in theology1      
where it is terribly expressive4        
,recognise that ,monsieur ,roman is  but
 a sophist when he demonstrates to you  
that one owes service to a  prince4     
,nevertheless1 ,i think if the prince   
ever orders all citizens  to become     
soldiers1 he will be obeyed1 ,i don't   
say with docility1 but  light-heartedly4
 ,i have noticed that the profession    
most natural to  man is that of a       
soldier2 it is the one to which he is   
drawn the most  easily by his instincts1
 and by his tastes1 which are not always
 good4  ,and beyond some rare           
exceptions1 of which ,i am one1 man may 
be defined  as an animal with a musket4 
,give him a fine uniform with the hope  

of  fighting1 and he will be happy4     
,also1 we make the military calling the 
noblest1 which is true1 in a sense1 for 
it is the oldest calling1 and  the      
earliest of mankind made war4 ,the      
military calling1 moreover1 has  this   
appropriateness to human nature1 that it
 never thinks1 and clearly  we are not  
made for thought4    8,thought is a     
malady peculiar to certain individuals  
which cannot  propagate itself without  
promptly ending the race4 ,soldiers live
 in  company1 and man is a sociable     
animal4 ,they wear blue-and-white1      
blue-and-red1 or grey-and-blue coats1   
ribbons1 plumes1 and cockades1  which   
give them the same advantage over women 
as the cock over the  hen4 ,they march  
to war and pillage and man is naturally 
thievish1  libidinous1 destructive1 and 
easily touched by glory4 ,the love of   
glory  decides us ,frenchmen1 above all1
 to take up arms4 ,and it is certain1   
that in public opinion1 military glory  
eclipses all4 ,to be assured of  this1  

read history4 ,la ,tulipe may be held   
excused if he was no more a  philosopher
 than ,titus ,livius40          ,,xi    
,,the ,,army 7continued7      ,my good  
master continued in these terms3        
8,one must consider1 my son1 that men   
joined one to another in the  succession
 of the ages by a chain of which they   
see but a few links1  attach the notion 
of nobility to customs whose origin was 
lowly and  barbarous4 ,their ignorance  
feeds their vanity4 ,they found their   
glories  on old1 unhappy1 far-off       
things1 and the nobility of the         
profession of  arms is due entirely to  
that savagery of early times of which   
the ,bible  and the poets have preserved
 the remembrance4 ,and what1 in fact1 is
  this military nobility flaunted with  
so much pride over us1 if not the       
debased legacy of those unfortunate     
hunters of the woods whom the poet      
,lucretius has depicted in such a way   
that one does not know if they be  men  
or beasts8 ,it is wonderful1            

,tournebroche1 my son1 that war and  the
 chase1 of which the thought alone      
should overwhelm us with shame  and     
remorse when we recall the wretched     
needs of our nature and our  inveterate 
wickedness1 serve on the contrary1 as   
matter for vain-glory  to men1 that     
,christian peoples should continue to   
honour the profession  of butcher and   
executioner1 when it is of old standing 
in families1  and that finally one      
estimates among refined people the      
celebrity of  citizens by the quantity  
of murders and carnage that they bear so
 to  speak1 in their veins40            
8,monsieur l',abb10 ,i said to my good  
master1 8do you not think that the      
profession of arms is looked upon as    
noble because of the danger one  runs   
therein and the courage that it is      
necessary to display80    8,truly1 my   
son10 answered my good master1 8if the  
state of man is noble  in proportion to 
the danger that he runs ,i do not fear  
to state that  peasants and labourers   

are the noblest men in the kingdom for  
they risk  death every day by fatigue or
 hunger4 ,the perils to which soldiers  
and  commanders expose themselves are   
less in number and in duration1 they    
last but a few hours in a lifetime1 and 
consist in facing cannon-balls  and     
bullets which kill less surely than     
poverty4 ,men must needs be  light and  
frivolous1 my son1 to give more honour  
to a soldier's doings  than to the work 
of a labourer and to place the          
destruction of war at a  higher price   
than the arts of peace40    8,monsieur  
l',abb10 ,i asked again1 8do you not    
consider that soldiers  are necessary to
 the safety of the state and that we    
should honour them  in recognition of   
their usefulness80    8,it is true1 my  
son1 that war is a necessity of human   
nature and  one cannot imagine nations  
who will not fight1 that is to say1 who 
are neither homicides1 pillagers1 nor   
incendiaries4 ,neither can you  conceive
 a prince who is not in some measure a  

usurper4 ,they would  reproach him too  
much on that score1 and they would      
despise him for  it as one who was no   
lover of glory4 ,for war is necessary to
 men2 and  is more natural to them than 
peace which is but war's interval4 ,thus
  one sees princes hurling their armies 
on one another on the worst  of         
pretexts1 and for the most futile of    
reasons4 ,they invoke their  honour1    
which is excessively touchy4 ,a mere    
breath suffices to make a  stain on it  
which cannot be washed save in the blood
 of ten1 twenty1  thirty1 or a hundred  
thousand men1 in proportion to the      
population  of the contending           
principalities4 ,if only one thinks of  
it1 it is  inconceivable that the honour
 of a prince can be cleansed by the     
blood  of these unhappy beings1 or      
rather one realises that it is a mere   
form of speech1 void of meaning2 but for
 words men go willingly to  their death4
 ,what is yet more wonderful1 is that a 
prince gains much  honour from the theft

 of a province and the outrage that     
would be  punished by death in the case 
of some daring private individual       
becomes  praiseworthy if it is carried  
out with the most outrageous cruelty by 
a  sovereign with the help of his       
hirelings40    ,my good master1 having  
thus spoken1 drew his box from his      
pocket and  sniffed up a few remaining  
grains of rappee4    8,monsieur l',abb10
 ,i said1 8are there no wars that are   
just1 and fought  for a good cause80    
8,tournebroche1 my son10 he answered me1
 8civilized nations have much           
overstrained the injustice of war and   
they have rendered it very  iniquitous  
as well as very cruel4 ,the first wars  
were undertaken for  the establishment  
of tribes on fertile lands4 ,thus the   
,israelites  conquered the land of      
,canaan4 ,hunger forced them to it4 ,the
 advancement  of civilization extended  
war to the conquest of colonies and     
foreign  markets1 as is seen in the     
example of ,spain1 ,holland1 ,england   

and  ,france4 ,lastly1 one has seen     
kings and emperors steal provinces of   
which they had no need1 which they      
ruined1 which they made waste1  without 
profit to themselves and without other  
advantage than to raise  pyramids and   
triumphal arches4 ,and this abuse of war
 is the more odious  as one must believe
 that nations are becoming more and more
 wicked by  the advancement of the arts1
 or rather that war1 being a necessity  
to  human nature1 is waged for its own  
sake when there is absolutely no  reason
 for waging it4    8,this reflection    
grieves me deeply1 for ,i am disposed by
 my condition  and inclination to the   
love of my fellow creatures4 ,and what  
puts the  finishing touch to my sadness1
 ,tournebroche1 my son1 is that ,i find 
my  snuff-box is empty1 and want of     
snuff is where ,i feel my poverty the   
most40    ,as much to distract his      
thoughts from this personal trouble as  
to  instruct myself in his teaching1 ,i 
asked him if civil war did not seem  to 

him the most detestable kind of war     
there was8    8,it is odious enough10 he
 replied1 8but not so very inept1 for   
members  of a state when they come to   
blows between themselves have more      
chance  of knowing why they fight than  
in the case where they go to war against
  a foreign people4 ,seditious and      
intestinal quarrels are usually born  of
 the extreme wretchedness of the people4
 ,they are the result of  despair1 and  
the only issue left to the unhappy      
beings who may obtain  thereby better   
conditions and sometimes even a hand in 
the game of  ruling4 ,but it is to be   
remarked1 my son1 that the more unhappy1
 and  therefore excusable1 are the      
insurgents1 the less chance they have of
  winning the game4 ,starved and        
stupefied1 armed but with their rage1   
they are incapable of great plans or of 
prudent considerations so  that they are
 easily reduced by the prince4 ,he has  
more difficulty in  putting down        
rebellion among the great1 which is to  

be detested1 for  it has not the excuse 
of necessity4 ,in fine1 my son1 whether 
civil or  foreign1 war is execrable1 and
 has a malignity that ,i detest40       
,,xii    ,,the ,,army 7concluded7       
8,i will show you1 my son10 said my good
 master1 8in the condition of  these    
poor soldiers who are going to serve    
their king1 both man's  shame and his   
glory4 ,in fact1 war sets us back and   
drives us to our  natural savagery4 ,it 
is the result of the ferocity that we   
have in  common with the beasts2 not    
only with lions and cocks1 who bring a  
gallant bearing to it1 but with little  
birds1 such as jays and tits1  whose    
ways are very quarrelsome1 and even with
 insects1 such as wasps  and ants1 who  
fight with a bloodthirstiness of the    
like of which the  ,romans themselves   
have left no example4 ,the principal    
causes of war  are the same in man and  
animal1 who struggle with one another to
  gain or keep their prey1 to defend    
their nest or their lair1 or to  gain a 

mate4 ,there is no distinction in all   
this1 and the rape of  the ,sabines     
perfectly recalls those duels between   
stags which make  the woods bloody of a 
night4 ,we have merely succeeded in     
lending a  certain colouring to base and
 natural motives by the notions of      
honour  with which we cover them1 and   
without great exactitude at that4 ,if   
we believe that we fight for very noble 
motives in these days1 the  nobility of 
them dwells entirely in the vagueness of
 our sentiments4  ,the less the object  
of war is simple1 clear1 and precise1   
the more  war itself is odious and      
detestable4 ,and if it be true1 my son1 
that  we have come to killing one       
another for honour's sake1 it is beyond 
all bounds4 ,we have surpassed the      
cruelty of wild beasts1 who do each     
other no injury without good reason4    
,and it is only right to say  that man  
is wickeder and more unnatural in his   
wars than are bulls  or ants in theirs4 
,but that is not all1 for ,i detest     

armies less for  the death they sow1    
than for the ignorance and stupidity    
that follow  in their train4 ,there is  
no worse enemy of the arts than a       
captain of  mercenaries or marauders1   
and as a rule commanders are as unfitted
  for letters as are their soldiers4    
,the habit of imposing his will by      
force makes your old soldier very       
awkward in speech1 for eloquence has    
its source in the necessity of          
persuasion4 ,also1 military men affect  
a disdain of speech and fine            
attainments4 ,i remember having known at
  ,sez in the days when ,i was librarian
 to the ,bishop1 an old captain1  who   
had grown grey in harness and passed for
 a gallant man1 wearing  proudly a large
 scar across his face4 ,he was an old   
ruffian1 and had  killed many a man and 
violated more than one nun quite        
good-humouredly4  ,he understood his    
business fairly well and was very       
particular  regarding the appearance of 
his regiment1 which marched past better 

than any other4 ,in short1 a brave man  
and a good comrade1 when it was         
question of draining a pot as well ,i   
saw at the inn of the ,cheval  ,blanc1  
where many a time ,i held my own against
 him4 ,now it happened  one night that  
,i accompanied him 7for we were good    
friends7 while he  was instructing his  
men how to find their way by the stars4 
,he first  let me have ,monsieur de     
,louvois' ordinance on the subject1 and 
as he  had repeated it by heart for the 
last thirty years1 he made no more      
mistakes than in his ,pater or ,ave4 ,he
 started off by saying that  the        
soldiers must begin by searching the    
heavens for the pole-star1  which is    
fixed in relation to the other stars1   
which turn round it  in the contrary    
direction to the hands of a watch4 ,but 
he did not  understand all he said4 ,for
 after having repeated his sentence two 
or  three times in a sufficiently       
imperious voice1 he stooped and said in 
my ear3    #8,show me this beggar of a  

pole-star1 ,abb4 ,the devil take me if  
,i  can distinguish it in this mess of  
candle-ends with which the sky is       
littered6'    8,i told him at once the  
way to find it1 and pointed it out with 
my  finger4 #8,oh6 ,oh6' cried he1 #8the
 silly thing is perched very high6 ,from
  where we are we cannot see it without 
straining our necks4' ,and he           
immediately gave orders to his officers 
to withdraw the men fifty paces  so they
 should more easily see the pole-star4  
,what ,i am telling you1 my  son1 ,i    
heard with my own ears1 and you will    
agree that this wearer of  a sword had a
 sufficiently nave notion of the system 
of the universe1  particularly of the   
stellar parallaxes4 ,yet he wore the    
king's orders  on a fine embroidered    
coat1 and was more honoured in the state
 than  a learned divine4 ,it is this    
uncouthness that ,i cannot endure in the
  army40    ,my good master having      
stopped to take breath at these words1  
,i asked  him if he did not think1      

despite this captain's ignorance1 that  
one  must have much intelligence to win 
battles8 ,he answered me in these       
words3    8,taking into consideration1  
,tournebroche1 my son1 the difficulty   
that there is in getting together and   
leading armies1 the knowledge  necessary
 in the attack or the defence of a      
place1 and the ability  demanded for a  
good order of battle1 one easily admits 
that only a  genius nearly super-human1 
such as that of a ,csar1 is capable of  
such  an undertaking1 and one would be  
astonished that minds were to be found  
capable of holding all the qualities    
proper to a true fighting-man4 ,a  great
 commander does not only know the       
configuration of a country1 but  its    
manners and customs1 and also the       
industries of its inhabitants4  ,he     
keeps in his mind an infinity of little 
circumstances from which  he forms in   
the end large and simple views4 ,the    
plans which he has  slowly meditated and
 traced out beforehand1 he may change in

 the midst  of action by a sudden       
inspiration1 and he is at the same time1
 very  prudent and very bold2 his       
thoughts move1 now with the dull        
slowness of  the mole1 now soar up with 
an eagle's flight4    8,nothing is truer
 than this4 ,but bethink you1 my son1   
that when two  armies are in sight of   
one another1 one of them must be        
conquered2 from  which it follows that  
the other will necessarily be           
victorious1 without  its chief in       
command having all the qualities of a   
great commander1  or without his even   
having one of them4 ,there are1 ,i take 
it1 clever  commanders2 there are also  
lucky ones1 whose glory is no less4     
,how1  in these astounding collisions1  
are we to disentangle the effect of  art
 from the result of luck8 ,but you are  
leading me from my subject1             
,tournebroche1 my son1 ,i want to show  
you that war is man's disgrace          
nowadays1 but that in other days it was 
his pride4 ,of necessity the            

arbitrament of empires1 war has been the
 great school-mistress of the  human    
race4 ,it is by her that men have learnt
 patience1 firmness1  disdain of danger1
 the glory of sacrifice4 ,the day that  
the herdsmen  first rolled pieces of    
rock to form an enclosure behind which  
they  defended their women and cattle1  
the first human society was founded1    
and the progress of the arts assured4   
,this great good that we enjoy1  our    
native land1 that august thing the      
,romans adored above all their  gods1   
the town1 #8,urbs1' is the daughter of  
war4    8,the first city was a fortified
 enclosure1 and it was in that rough and
  bloody cradle that were nursed august 
laws1 flourishing industries1  science  
and learning4 ,and that is why the true 
,god wishes to be called  the ,god of   
battles4    8,what ,i tell you on this  
subject1 ,tournebroche1 my son1 does not
 mean  that you should sign your        
engagement to this recruiting-sergeant  
and  be seized with the desire to become

 a hero as the recipient of sixty       
strokes of the rod on your back every   
day1 on an average4    8,war is1        
moreover1 in our time but an inherited  
evil1 a prurient return  to savage life1
 a criminal puerility4 ,the princes of  
our day1 and  especially the late king1 
will for ever bear the notoriety of     
having  made war the sport and amusement
 of courts4 ,it saddens me to think that
  we have not yet seen the end of this  
preconcerted slaughter4    8,as to the  
future1 the unfathomable future1 let me1
 my son1 dream of it  as more in accord 
with the spirit of sweetness and equity 
which dwells  in me4 ,the future is a   
place where there is room for dreams4   
,it is  there1 as in ,utopia1 that it   
pleases the wise men to build4 ,i should
  like to believe that nations will one 
day cultivate the virtues in  peace4 ,it
 is in the increasing size of armaments 
that ,i flatter myself  ,i see a        
far-distant presage of universal peace4 
,armies will augment  unceasingly in    

strength and number4 ,whole nations will
 be swallowed up  by them4 ,then the    
monster will perish from his surfeit4   
,he will burst  from too much fatness40 
,,xiii    ,,academies      ,we learnt   
that day that the ,bishop of ,sez had   
just been elected a  member of the      
,acadmie ,franaise4 ,twenty years ago he
 had delivered  a panegyric on ,st4     
,maclou1 which was considered rather a  
good thing1  and ,i am willing to       
believe that there were some excellent  
passages in  it2 for my good master1    
,monsieur l',abb ,coignard1 had put a   
hand to  it before quitting the         
,bishop's palace with ,madame de la     
,baillive's  chambermaid4 ,monseigneur  
de ,sez was descended from the best     
,norman  aristocracy4 ,his piety1 his   
cellar1 and his stable1 were justly     
vaunted  throughout the kingdom1 and his
 own nephew dispensed the ecclesiastical
  patronage all over the country4 ,his  
election surprised nobody4 ,it was      
approved by all the world1 save by the  

8grey-stockings0 of the ,caf  ,procope1 
who are never content4 ,they are        
grumblers4    ,my good master blamed    
them gently for their contradictory     
temper4    8,of what does ,monsieur     
,duclos complain80 said he4 8,since     
yesterday1 he  is the equal of          
,monseigneur de ,sez1 who has the       
handsomest clergy and  the finest pack  
of hounds in the kingdom4 ,for          
academicians are equal by  virtue of the
 statutes4#i    8,it is true that it is 
the insolent equality of revellers1     
which  ceases1 when1 the meeting over1  
my lord bishop steps into his chariot1  
leaving ,monsieur ,duclos to splash his 
woollen stockings in the gutter4  ,but  
if he does not want thus to be put on a 
par with my lord ,bishop  of ,sez1 why  
does he rub shoulders with the badge    
bedecked4 ,why does  he not hie him to a
 tub1 like ,diogenes1 or like me1 to a  
stall at  the ,innocents8 ,it is only in
 a tub1 or in a stall1 that one can lord
  it over this earthly grandeur4 ,it is 

only there that one is a real  prince1  
and a real lord4 ,happy is he who has   
not fixed his hopes on  the ,academy6   
,happy is he who lives exempt from fears
 and desires1 and  who knows the        
emptiness of all things6 ,happy is he   
who knows that it  is equally a vanity  
to be an ,academician1 or not to be one4
 ,such a one  leads1 untroubled1 a life 
obscure and unseen4 ,fair liberty       
follows him  everywhere he goes4 ,he    
celebrates in the shade the stilly      
offices of  wisdom1 and all the ,muses  
smile on him as on one initiated into   
their  service40    ,thus spoke my good 
master1 and ,i admired the pure         
enthusiasm which  swelled his voice and 
shone in his eyes4 ,but the restlessness
 of youth  fermented in me4 ,i wanted to
 take sides1 to throw myself into the   
fight1 to declare myself for or against 
the ,academy4    8,monsieur l',abb10 ,i 
asked4 8,should not the ,academy call to
 itself the  best minds in the kingdom1 
rather than the uncle of the man who has

 the  ecclesiastical patronage in his   
gift80#aj ,i asked my good master4      
8,my son10 he answered gently1 8if      
,monseigneur de ,sez appears austere  in
 his ordinances1 great and gallant in   
his life1 and if he is in  fact1 a      
paragon among prelates1 and pronounced  
that panegyric on ,st4  ,maclou1 the    
exordium of which1 relative to the      
healing of the ,king's  evil by the     
,king of ,france1 seemed to be noble1 do
 you want the ,society  to turn him out 
for the sole reason that he has a nephew
 as powerful  as he is amiable8 ,that   
would be showing a truly ferocious      
virtue1 and  punishing ,monseigneur de  
,sez inhumanly for the grandeur of his  
family4  ,the ,academy wished to forget 
that4 ,that alone1 my son1 is           
sufficiently  magnanimous40    ,i was   
daring enough to make reply to this     
speech1 so carried away was ,i  by the  
fire of youth4    8,monsieur l',abb10   
said ,i1 8allow my feelings to oppose   
your arguments4  ,all the world knows   

that ,monseigneur de ,sez has only      
become  considerable by the suppleness  
of his character and his manners1 and   
what one admires in him is his skill in 
detaching himself from both  parties4444
 ,we have seen him glide gently between 
the ,jesuits and the  ,jansenists1      
tincting his pale prudence with the     
roses of ,christian  charity4444 ,he    
thinks he has done enough when he has   
displeased no one1  and all his care is 
to sustain his position4 ,thus it is not
 his great  heart which has gained for  
him the suffrages of the ,king's        
illustrious  protgs4#aa ,neither is it  
his great mind4 ,for1 with the exception
  of this panegyric on ,st4 ,maclou1    
which he had 7as all the world knows7   
but the trouble of reading1 this        
peace-loving bishop has only let us     
hear the depressing instructions issued 
to his clergy4    8,he recommends       
himself by the amenity of his language  
and the  politeness of his conversation4
 ,are these sufficient titles to        

immortality80    8,tournebroche10       
answered ,monsieur l',abb1 civilly1 8you
 reason with  the simplicity given to   
you by ,madame1 your mother1 at your    
birth1  and ,i see that you will keep   
your natural candour for long enough4 ,i
  congratulate you upon it4 ,but        
innocence must not make you unjust2 it  
is enough that it leaves you ignorant4  
,the immortality that they have         
bestowed on ,monseigneur de ,sez does   
not call for the attainments of a       
,bossuet or a ,belzunce2 it is not      
graven in the heart of an astounded     
people--it is inscribed in a big book2  
and you can well understand that  these 
paper laurels only suit the heads of    
such heroes4    8,if1 among the ,forty1 
there are persons of more gentility than
 genius1  what harm do you see in it8   
,mediocrity triumphs in the ,academy4   
,but  where does it not8 ,do you see it 
less powerful in ,parliament or in  the 
royal ,council1 where doubtless it is   
less fitted to find place8  ,must one be

 an exceptional man to work at a        
dictionary which wishes to  regulate    
custom1 and can only follow it8         
8,academicians1 or academists1 were     
instituted1 as you know1 to fix the     
best usage in matters of speech1 to     
purge the language of all archaisms  and
 vulgar impurities1 and to see that a   
second ,rabelais1 or a second           
,montaigne1 does not arise1 smelling of 
the rabble1 of pedantry1 or of  the     
provinces4 ,they assembled1 to this end1
 gentlemen1 who knew good  usage and    
writers who were interested in knowing  
it4 ,that gave rise  to alarm lest the  
assembly should1 tyrannically1 reform   
the ,french  language4 ,but it was soon 
recognised that these fears were vain1  
and  the academists1 far from imposing  
custom1 obeyed it4 ,in spite of their   
veto we continue to say as before1 #8,i 
shut my door4'#ab    8,the ,assembly    
soon resigned itself to entombing the   
progress of usage  in a big dictionary4 
,it is the sole care of the             

,immortals4#ac ,when  they are not      
sitting they find leisure for recreation
 with one another4  ,for that they need 
pleasant companions1 easy and affable1  
amiable  colleagues1 well-informed men1 
and men who know the world4 ,this is    
not always the case with men of great   
talent4 ,genius is sometimes            
unsociable4 ,an exceptional man is      
rarely a man of resource4 ,the ,academy 
could do without ,descartes and ,pascal4
 ,who says that it could do well        
without ,monsieur ,godeau or ,monsieur  
,conrart1 or any other person of a      
supple1 complacent1 and circumspect turn
 of mind80    8,alas60 ,i sighed1 8then 
it is no senate of divine beings1 or    
council of  immortals1 no august        
,areopagus of poetry and eloquence80    
8,by no means1 my son4 ,it is a society 
which teaches manners1 and which  has   
gained a great reputation for that among
 foreign nations1 and  particularly     
among the ,muscovites4 ,you have no idea
 what admiration  the ,acadmie ,franaise

 inspires among ,german barons1 colonels
 of  the ,russian ,army and ,english    
milords4 ,europeans rate nothing higher 
than our ,academicians and our dancers4 
,i knew a ,sarmatian princess  of great 
beauty who1 passing through ,paris1     
impatiently sought for an  academician1 
whoever he might be1 to make him a      
present of her virtue40    8,if it be   
thus10 ,i cried1 8why do the            
academicians risk compromising  their   
good reputation by these unfortunate    
selections which are so  universally    
blamed80    8,stop1 ,tournebroche1 my   
son1 do not say anything evil of        
unfortunate  selections10 replied my    
master4 8,to begin with1 in all human   
undertakings one must take into         
consideration the part played by        
chance1 which is1 upon the whole1 the   
part played by ,god on earth1 and  the  
only occasion where ,divine ,providence 
manifests itself clearly in  this world4
 ,for you well understand1 my son1 that 
what we call the  absurdity of chance   

and the caprice of fortune1 are1 in     
reality1 but  the revenge taken in sport
 by ,divine justice on the counsels of  
the  would-be wise4 ,in the second      
place1 it is suitable in assemblies to  
give some play to caprice and fancy4 ,a 
perfectly reasonable society  would be a
 perfectly unbearable one4 ,it would    
languish under the cold  rule of        
justice4 ,it would not have any belief  
in its own power or  freedom if it did  
not taste1 from time to time1 the       
delicious pleasure  of braving public   
opinion and good sense4 ,it is the      
darling sin of the  powers of this world
 to be taken with bizarre caprices4 ,why
 should not  the ,academy indulge in    
whims just as much as the ,grand ,turk  
or a pretty  woman8    8,many opposite  
passions unite to inspire these         
unfortunate selections  which vex simple
 souls4 ,it is a pleasure for good      
people to take an  unfortunate mortal   
and make an academician of him4 ,thus   
the ,god of the  psalmist takes the poor

 man from his dunghill4 ,erigens de     
stercore  pauperem1 ut collocet eum cum 
principibus1 cum principibus populi     
sui4 ,these are strokes which astonish  
the nations and those who deal  them    
must think themselves armed with a      
mysterious force and terrible  power4   
,and what pleasure to drag the poor soul
 from his dunghill1 while  leaving1     
meanwhile1 some intellectual despot in  
the shade6 ,it is to  quaff1 at a       
draught1 a rare and delicious mixture of
 charity fulfilled  and jealousy        
satisfied4 ,it is enjoyment in every    
sense and content for  the whole man4   
,and you want the academicians to resist
 the sweetness of  such a philtre6      
8,we must take into consideration again1
 that in procuring for  themselves this 
very sophisticated pleasure1 the        
academicians act for  the best in their 
own interests4 ,a society formed        
exclusively of great  men would not be  
numerous1 and would appear rather       
depressing4    8,great men cannot endure

 one another1 and they have little wit4 
,it is  good to let them mix with       
smaller fry4 ,it amuses them4 ,the small
 fry  benefit by their neighbourhood1   
the great by the comparison with the    
small1 and there is profit for both one 
and the other4 ,let us admire by  what  
skilful play1 what ingenious            
contrivance1 the ,acadmie ,franaise     
passes on to some of its members the    
importance it gains from others4  ,it is
 a collection of suns and planets1 where
 all shine with their own  or with a    
borrowed effulgence4    8,i go even     
further4 ,unfortunate selections are    
necessary to the  existence of this     
society4 ,if1 in the elections1 the     
,academy did  not take the side of      
weakness and error1 if it did not have  
the air  of choosing haphazardly at     
times1 it would make itself so hated by 
all that it could no longer continue to 
exist4 ,in the republic of  letters it  
would be as a tribunal set in the midst 
of condemned men4  ,infallible1 it would

 appear odious4 ,what an affront for    
those who  were not chosen1 were the    
elected one always the best6 ,the       
daughter  of ,richelieu must seem a     
little volatile1 so as not to appear too
  insolent4 ,what saves her is that she 
takes fancies4 ,her injustice  proves   
her innocence4 ,it is because we know   
her capricious that she  can reject us  
without wounding us4 ,it is sometimes so
 advantageous to  her to deceive herself
 that ,i am tempted to believe1         
notwithstanding  appearances1 that she  
does it on purpose4 ,she has admirable  
ruses for  dealing tactfully with the   
self-love of the candidates she sets    
aside4  ,an election of such a kind     
disarms envy4 ,it is in her apparent    
faults  that you must admire her true   
wisdom40      ,,footnotes3    #i        
,cf4 ,,saint-,,evremont 7,les           
,acadmiciens73         ,,godeau4        
,good-day1 dear ,colletet4              
,,colletet 7throwing himself on his     
knees74 ,say1 my lord of ,grasse1       

,what ,i must do when ,i before you     
pass4       ,should ,i not kiss1        
perhaps1 your hallowed shoon8           
,,godeau4 ,we are all equal1 all        
,apollo's own4       8,rise up1 my      
,colletet--0         ,,colletet4 8,does 
your worship's grace       ,permit the  
liberty1 to your very face60            
,,godeau4 8,our intercourse is nothing  
changed1 elsewhere       ,you see me    
bishop2 ,godeau1 simply1 here40         
,monsieur l',abb ,coignard1 lived under 
the old rgime4 ,in those days  it was   
said that the ,french ,academy had the  
merit of establishing  perfect equality 
between its members1 an equality not    
recognised in  law4 ,nevertheless1 it   
was destroyed in #agic as 8the last     
refuge of  aristocracy40    #aj ,he     
means the bishop whom the king had      
appointed distributor of  ecclesiastical
 patronage4    #aa ,the king was        
protector of the ,academy4    #ab ,it is
 true that the ,academy condemned this  
expression3         8,custom1 too       

strong1 as oftentime before1            
,makes us1 improperly1 say ,shut the    
,door1       ,usage will1 daily1        
authorise a word1       ,natheless      
employed in manner quite absurd4        
,would you escape ,december's cold and  
gloom1       ,you must ,push to the     
,door and ,shut the ,room40             
,,saint-,,evremont 7,les ,acadmiciens74 
#ac ,in those days the ,academy awarded 
no prizes4          ,,xiv               
,,sedition-,,mongers      ,my good      
master and ,i having paid our accustomed
 visit at the sign of  the ,image de    
,sainte ,catherine1 we found in the shop
 the famous ,mr4  ,rockstrong1 mounted  
on the highest rung of the ladder       
ferreting out the  old books1 of which  
he is a connoisseur4 ,for it pleases    
him1 as is well  known1 in his troubled 
existence to collect precious books and 
fine  prints4    ,condemned by the      
,english ,parliament to imprisonment for
 life for  taking part in ,monmouth's   
,rebellion1 he lives in ,france1 whence 

he is  continually sending articles to  
the gazettes of his country4#ad    ,my  
good master1 as his habit was1 let      
himself down on to a stool1 then  raised
 his eyes to the ladder where ,mr4      
,rockstrong was turning about  with the 
squirrel-like agility he has preserved  
in his declining years4    8,god be     
thanked60 said he1 8,i see1 ,monsieur le
 ,rebelle1 you are as  well and as young
 as ever40    ,mr4 ,rockstrong turned on
 my good master the glowing eyes that   
light up  his sallow countenance4       
8,why do you call me a rebel80 he asked1
 8you fat ,abb60    8,i call you a      
rebel1 ,mr4 ,rockstrong1 because you    
have failed4 ,one is a  rebel when one  
is vanquished4 ,victors are never       
rebels40    8,abb1 you speak with a     
disgusting cynicism40    8,beware1 ,mr4 
,rockstrong2 that maxim does not come   
from me4 ,it comes  from a very great   
man4 ,i found it among the papers of    
,julius ,csar  ,scaliger40    8,well1   
,abb1 those are villainous papers4 ,and 

it is an infamous saying4  ,our loss1   
due to the irresolution of our chief1   
and to an indolence  which he paid for  
with his life1 does not alter the       
goodness of our  cause4 ,and honest     
people conquered by rogues1 remain      
honest people40    8,it pains me to hear
 you talk of honest people and rogues1  
in public  matters1 ,mr4 ,rockstrong4   
,these simple expressions might suffice 
to  indicate the good and the bad side  
in those combats of angels which  were  
fought in ,heaven before the creation of
 the world2 and which your  fellow      
countryman1 ,john ,milton1 has sung with
 very great barbarity4  ,but1 on this   
terraqueous globe1 camps are not1       
however desirable  it might be1 so      
equally divided that one can            
discriminate1 without  prejudice or     
compliance1 between the army of the pure
 and the impure2  nor even distinguish  
the side of the just from the unjust4   
,so that1  success must necessarily     
remain the only witness to the goodness 

of a  cause4 ,i annoy you1 ,mr4         
,rockstrong1 by telling you that one is 
rebel  when one is vanquished4 ,yet when
 it happens to you to climb to power1   
you will not suffer rebellion40         
8,abb1 you do not know what you are     
saying4 ,i have always hastened to  the 
side of the vanquished40    8,truly1    
,mr4 ,rockstrong1 you are a natural and 
constant enemy of the  ,state4 ,you are 
hardened in your enmity by the force of 
your genius1  which finds pleasure in   
destruction and ruin40    8,abb1 do you 
call me a criminal80    8,mr4           
,rockstrong1 if ,i were a statesman1 or 
a friend of the prince1 like  ,monsieur 
,roman1 ,i should take you for a        
remarkable criminal4 ,but ,i am  not a  
sufficiently fervent believer in the    
religion of politics to be  very        
terrified at the murmur of your crimes1 
or of outrages which make  more noise   
than they do harm40    8,abb1 you are   
immoral60    8,if it be only at such a  
price one can afford to be indulgent1   

,mr4  ,rockstrong1 do not blame me too  
severely40    8,i have no use1 my fat   
,abb1 for an indulgence that you share  
between  me1 the victim1 and the        
scoundrels in ,parliament1 who condemned
 me with  such revolting injustice40    
8,it is amusing to hear you talk of the 
injustice of the lords1 ,mr4            
,rockstrong40    8,is it not a crying   
injustice80    8,it is quite true1 ,mr4 
,rockstrong1 that you were convicted1 on
 a  ridiculous charge1 by the           
,lord-,chancellor for a collection of   
libels1  none of which came in          
particular under the ban of the ,english
 law2 it  is true that in a country     
where one is allowed to write anything  
and  everything1 you were punished for  
some pungent writings2 it is true  that 
they used1 as weapons1 obsolete and     
out-of-the-way forms whose  imposing    
hypocrisy poorly dissimulated the       
impossibility of getting  at you by     
legal methods2 it is true that the      
milords who judged you  were interested 

in your ruin1 since ,monmouth's1 and    
your success  would infallibly have     
dragged them from their seats4 ,it is   
true your  ruin was decided on          
beforehand in the royal ,councils4 ,it  
is true you  escaped by flight1 from a  
mediocre kind of martyrdom in truth1 but
  a painful one4 ,for imprisonment for  
life is a penalty even if one  may      
reasonably hope to escape from it soon4 
,but there is no justice  nor injustice 
there4 ,you were condemned for ,state   
reasons--which is  extremely honourable4
 ,and more than one of the lords who    
condemned you  had conspired with you   
twenty years before4 ,your crime was to 
have  frightened those in office--and it
 is an unpardonable one4 ,ministers  and
 their friends invoke the safety of the 
,state when danger threatens  their     
fortunes or their posts4 ,and they are  
willing to believe  themselves necessary
 for the preservation of the empire1 for
 they  are for the most part interested 
parties and no philosophers4 ,but  that 

does not make bad men of them4 ,they are
 human beings and that is  quite enough 
to explain their pitiable mediocrity1   
their stupidity and  their avarice4 ,but
 whom do you set up against them1 ,mr4  
,rockstrong8  ,other men of equal       
mediocrity1 and yet more greedy1 because
 they are  hungrier4 ,the people of     
,london would have borne with them as   
they bear  with the others4 ,they       
awaited your victory or your defeat to  
declare  themselves1 wherein they gave  
proof of remarkable sagacity4 ,the      
people  are well advised when they judge
 that they have nothing to gain or lose 
by change of masters40    ,thus spoke   
,abb ,coignard1 and ,mr4 ,rockstrong    
with inflamed countenance1  eyes on     
fire1 and wig starting from his head1   
shouted at him with  gestures from the  
top of his ladder3 8,abb1 ,i understand 
thieves and  all types of rogues in     
,chancery and ,parliament4 ,but ,i do   
not understand  you1 who1 without any   
personal interest in the matter1 out of 

pure  malice1 propound maxims that they 
themselves profess but for their own    
profit4 ,you must be wickeder than they1
 for you have nothing to gain in  the   
matter4 ,it is beyond me1 ,abb60    8,it
 is a sign of my being a philosopher10  
gently replied my good  master4 8,it is 
in the nature of wise men to irritate   
the rest of  mankind4 ,anaxagoras was a 
celebrated example of it4 ,i do not     
speak of  ,socrates who was but a       
sophist4 ,but we see that in all times  
and in all  countries the opinions of   
meditative minds were subjects of       
scandal4  ,you think yourself very      
different from your enemies1 ,mr4       
,rockstrong1  and that you are as       
lovable as they are odious4 ,allow me to
 tell you  that this is but the effect  
of your pride and of your high courage4 
,in actual fact1 you share in common    
with those who condemned you1 all  human
 weaknesses and passions4 ,if you are   
more honest than many of  them1 and even
 if you are a man of incomparable       

vivacity of mind1 you  are filled with a
 talent for hatred and discord which    
renders you very  inconvenient in a     
well-regulated country4 ,the calling of 
a journalist1  in which you excel1 has  
raised to the highest degree of         
perfection the  wonderful partiality of 
your mind1 and though a victim of       
injustice1  you are yourself not just4  
,what ,i have just said embroils me both
 with  you and with your enemies1 and ,i
 am very certain ,i shall never obtain  
a fat living from the minister who has  
them in his gift4 ,but ,i prize  freedom
 of mind more highly than a fat abbey or
 a cosy priory4 ,i shall  have succeeded
 in vexing all the world1 but ,i shall  
die in peace1 and  in contentment of    
heart40    8,abb10 half-laughingly1     
replied ,mr4 ,rockstrong1 8,i forgive   
you1  because ,i think you a little mad4
 ,you make no difference between  rogues
 and honest men1 and you would not      
rather have a free country  than a      
despotic and shuffling government4 ,you 

are a lunatic1 and of no  ordinary      
kind40    8,let us go and drink a pot of
 wine at the ,petit ,bacchus1 ,mr4      
,rockstrong10 said my good master1 8and 
,i will explain to you1 while  emptying 
my glass1 why ,i am totally indifferent 
to forms of government1  and why ,i do  
not trouble myself about any change of  
masters40    8,very willingly10 said    
,mr4 ,rockstrong1 8,i shall be          
interested to drink  in company with    
such a bad arguer as you40    ,he sprang
 lightly down from his ladder1 and we   
all three repaired to  the inn4         
,,footnotes3    #ad ,i have not found   
this ,mr4 ,rockstrong mentioned in the  
memoirs  relating to ,monmouth's        
,rebellion4 7,,anatole ,,france47       
,,xv    ,,revolutionary ,,measures      
,mr4 ,rockstrong1 who was a sensible    
man1 bore my good master no malice  for 
his sincerity of speech4 ,when the      
landlord of the ,petit ,bacchus  had    
brought a pot of wine1 the pamphleteer  
lifted his glass and drank  to ,abb     

,coignard's health1 calling him a rogue1
 a friend of robbers1 a  tool of tyrants
 and an old scamp6 all with quite a     
jovial air4    ,my master returned his  
compliments with a good grace1          
congratulating  him on the fact that he 
drank to a man whose natural humour had 
remained unaffected by philosophy4      
8,as for myself10 he added1 8,i feel    
that my intelligence is quite spoilt  by
 reflection4 ,and as it is not in the   
nature of mankind to think with  any    
profundity1 ,i own that my leaning to   
thought is an odd mania and  highly     
inconvenient4 ,in the first place it    
makes me unfit for any  undertaking1 for
 our actions result from a limited      
outlook and narrow  way of thinking4    
,you will be astonished1 ,mr4           
,rockstrong1 if you picture  to yourself
 the simple-mindedness of the men of    
genius who have stirred  the world4     
,conquerors and statesmen1 who have     
changed the face of the  earth1 have    
never reflected on the essence of the   

beings they handled  so roughly4 ,they  
shut themselves up altogether in the    
pettiness of  their grand projects and  
the wisest see but very few things at a 
time4  ,such as you see me1 ,mr4        
,rockstrong1 it would be impossible for 
me to  work like ,alexander at the      
conquest of ,india1 or to found and     
govern an  empire1 or1 generally        
speaking1 to throw myself into any one  
of those  vast undertakings which tempt 
the pride of the impetuous4 ,reflection 
would hamper me1 from the outset1 and ,i
 should find reasons for coming  to a   
stop at every move ,i made40    ,then   
turning to me my good master said       
sighing3    8,thought is a great        
infirmity1 ,god keep you from it        
,tournebroche1 my  son1 as ,he has kept 
,his greatest saints1 and the souls for 
whom ,he  cherishes a singular          
predilection1 and for whom ,he reserves 
eternal  glory4 ,men who think little1  
or who think not at all1 go about their 
business happily in this world and the  

next1 whilst the meditative  soul is    
incessantly menaced with its temporal   
and spiritual loss4 ,such  malice lies  
in thought6 ,reflect and tremble1 my    
son1 at the thought  that the serpent of
 ,genesis is the oldest of philosophers 
and their  everlasting prince40         
,monsieur l',abb ,coignard drank a great
 draught of wine and went on in a  low  
voice3    8,as regards my salvation1    
that is a subject to which ,i have never
  applied my intelligence4 ,i have never
 exercised my reason on the truths  of  
the ,faith4 ,unhappily1 ,i have         
meditated the deeds of men and the ways 
of cities2 therefore ,i am no longer fit
 to govern an ,island1 as was  ,sancho  
,panza40    8,that is a very good       
thing10 retorted ,mr4 ,rockstrong1      
laughingly1  8for your isle would be a  
retreat for bandits and vagabonds where 
the  criminal would judge the innocent1 
if perchance there were any4    8,i well
 believe it6 ,mr4 ,rockstrong1 ,i well  
believe it60 answered my  good master6  

8,it is quite possible that1 if ,i were 
to govern another  island of ,barataria1
 manners would be as you say4 ,with one 
stroke you  have depicted all the       
empires of the world4 ,i feel that mine 
would  be no better than the rest4 ,i   
have no illusions about mankind1 and1   
so as not to hate them1 ,i despise them4
 ,i despise and pity them1  ,mr4        
,rockstrong4 ,but they bear me no       
good-will for it4 ,they want to  be     
hated4 ,one vexes them when one shows   
them the gentlest1 the most  indulgent1 
the most charitable1 most human and     
gracious of all feelings  that they     
could inspire3 contempt4 ,nevertheless1 
mutual contempt means  peace on earth1  
and if men would only thoroughly despise
 one another  they would do themselves  
no further harm and live together in an 
amiable tranquillity4    8,all the ills 
of civilised societies originate in     
people thinking too  highly of each     
other1 and raising honour1 like a       
monster1 above the  wretchedness of the 

flesh and the spirit4 ,this feeling     
makes them both  proud and cruel1 and ,i
 detest the pride that wants honour to  
be shown  to it and to others1 as if    
anyone descended from ,adam could be    
worthy  of honour6 ,an animal which     
eats1 drinks 7give me something to      
drink71  and makes love1 is worthy of   
pity1 interesting perhaps1 even         
sometimes  pleasant and agreeable4      
8,he can only be honourable by the      
effect of a most absurd and  headstrong 
prejudice in his favour4 ,this prejudice
 is the source of all  the ills from    
which we suffer4 ,it is a detestable    
kind of idolatry4  ,and to assure to    
humanity a sweetening of their existence
 you must  begin by recalling them to   
their natural humility4    8,they will  
be happy1 when1 brought back again to a 
true appreciation of  their condition1  
they despise one another without there  
being a single  exception to this most  
excellent contempt40    ,mr4 ,rockstrong
 shrugged his shoulders4    8,my fat    

,abb10 said he1 8you are a pig40    8,i 
am but a man10 replied my master1 8you  
flatter me1 and ,i feel in  me the germs
 of that bitter pride that ,i detest1   
and that vain-glory  which leads the    
human race into duels and into war4     
,there are times1  ,mr4 ,rockstrong1    
when ,i would have my throat cut for my 
opinions2 which  would be an act of     
madness4 ,for who can prove that ,i     
reason better than  you1 you1 who reason
 excessively badly6 ,give me something  
to drink60    ,mr4 ,rockstrong          
courteously filled my good master's     
glass4    8,abb1 you talk nonsense10 he 
said1 8but ,i love you1 and ,i should   
much  like to know what you find        
blameworthy in my public behaviour1 and 
why you side against me with tyrants1   
forgers1 thieves1 and dishonest         
judges80    8,mr4 ,rockstrong1 allow me 
first of all to diffuse over you and    
your  friends1 with a sweet             
impartiality1 that single sentiment     
which gently  puts an end to quarrels1  

and brings pacification4 ,bear with me  
if ,i  respect neither the one nor the  
other enough to consign them to the     
vengeance of the law and to call down   
punishment on their heads4  ,men1       
whatsoever they do1 are always silly    
sheep1 and ,i leave to                  
milord-chancellor1 who condemned you1   
the ,ciceronian declamations on  state  
crimes4 ,i have little taste for        
,catiline orations from whichever  side 
they come4 ,i am merely sad to see a man
 like you occupied in  changing forms of
 government4 ,it is the most frivolous  
and empty  method of using one's        
intelligence1 and to fight people in    
office is  folly1 unless it is a way of 
earning one's bread and getting on in   
the  world4 ,give me something to drink6
 ,bethink you1 ,mr4 ,rockstrong1 that   
these startling changes in the ,state1  
meditated by you1 are merely            
displacements of particular men1 and    
that men taken in the mass are one  like
 another1 average in evil as well as in 

good2 so that to replace  two or three  
hundred ministers1 governors of         
provinces1 colonial  agents1 and        
bonneted presidents of courts1 by two or
 three hundred  others1 is as good as   
doing nothing1 and is simply putting    
,philip and  ,barnabas in place of ,paul
 and ,xavier4 ,as to changing the       
condition of  people at the same time1  
as you hope to do1 that is quite        
impossible1  for that condition does not
 depend on the ministers1 who count for 
nothing1 but on the earth and its       
fruits1 industry1 commerce1 money       
amassed in the kingdom1 the cleverness  
of the townfolk in trade and            
exchange--all things1 which be they good
 or bad1 are not kept going by  either  
the prince or the officers of the       
crown40    ,mr4 ,rockstrong quickly     
interrupted my good master3    8,who    
does not know10 he exclaimed1 8that the 
condition of industry  and commerce     
depends on the government1 and that only
 under a free  government can you have  

good finance80    8,liberty10 continued 
,monsieur l',abb ,coignard1 8is but the 
result  of the wealth of citizens1 who  
free themselves as soon as they are     
powerful enough to be independent4      
,people take all the liberty they  can  
enjoy1 or1 to put it more plainly1 they 
imperiously clamour for  institutions in
 recognition and guarantee of the rights
 which they have  acquired by their     
industry4    8,all liberty emanates from
 them and their several actions4 ,their 
most  involuntary movements enlarge the 
mould of the state which shapes  itself 
on them4#ae    8,so that one may say    
that detestable as tyranny is1 every    
tyranny is  necessary1 and despotic     
governments are but the strait-waistcoat
 on  a feeble and dwindled body4 ,and   
who does not see that the outward       
appearance of government is like the    
skin which reveals the structure  of an 
animal without being the cause of it8   
8,you seize hold upon the skin without  
troubling yourself about the  viscera1  

in which you show little natural        
philosophy1 ,mr4 ,rockstrong40    8,so  
you make no difference between a free   
state and a tyrannical  government1 and 
all that you regard as nothing but the  
hide of the  beast1 my fat ,abb4 ,and   
you fail to see that the expenditure of 
the  prince and the depredations of     
ministers can ruin agriculture and wear 
out trade by raising the taxes40        
8,mr4 ,rockstrong1 there cannot be at   
the same period and for the same        
country more than one possible form of  
government1 any more than an  animal can
 have more than one pelt at a time4     
,from which it results1  that we must   
leave to the care of ,time1 who is a    
courtly person1 the  changing of empires
 and the remaking of laws4 ,he works at 
it slowly1  untiringly1 and kindly40    
8,and you don't think1 my fat ,abb1 that
 we ought to help the old man  who      
figures on the clocks with a scythe in  
his hand8 ,you do not believe  that a   
revolution1 such as that of the ,english

 or that in the ,low  ,countries1 can   
have any effect on the condition of the 
people4 ,no8 ,you  old idiot6 you       
deserve to be crowned with a fool's     
cap60    8,revolutions come about in    
conservation of good things already     
acquired1 and not to gain new4 ,it is   
the folly of nations1 it is your  own1  
,mr4 ,rockstrong1 to found great hopes  
on the downfall of princes4  ,people    
assure unto themselves1 by revolting    
from time to time1 the  preservation of 
their threatened liberties4 ,they have  
never gained new  liberties thereby4    
,but they are fooled with words4 ,it is 
remarkable1  ,mr4 ,rockstrong1 that men 
will easily let themselves be killed for
 words  of no meaning4 ,ajax made the   
remark long ago3 #8,i thought in my     
youth'  the poet makes him say1 #8that  
deeds were more powerful than words1 but
  ,i see to-day that the word is the    
stronger of the two4' ,thus said ,ajax1 
son of ,oileus4 ,mr4 ,rockstrong1 ,i am 
very thirsty60      ,,footnotes3    #ae 

,in the time of ,abb ,coignard the      
,french already thought themselves      
free4 ,the sieur d',alqui wrote in      
#afgj3    8,three things make a man     
happy in this world1 to know the charm  
of  intercourse1 dainty meats1 and      
liberty1 perfect and entire4 ,we have   
seen in what way our illustrious kingdom
 has fulfilled the two first1  so it    
remains for us merely to show that the  
third is not lacking  to it1 and that   
liberty is no less a fact than the two  
preceding  advantages4 ,the thing will  
appear true to you if1 to start with1   
you  will consider attentively the name 
of our state1 the matter of its         
foundation1 and its usual customs3 for  
one sees at the start that  the name of 
,france means nothing else than         
,franchise or liberty1  conformably to  
the designs of the founders of this     
monarchy1 who1  having noble and        
generous souls1 and being unable to bear
 either  slavery or the least servitude1
 resolved among themselves to throw off 

the yoke of all kinds of captivity and  
to be as free as men may be2  this is   
why they came to the land of the ,gauls1
 which was a country  whose people were 
neither less warlike nor less jealous of
 their  ,franchise or liberty than they 
themselves were4 ,as to the second      
point1 we know that beyond the          
inclinations and plans they had in      
founding this state1 they were always   
their own masters2 they made  laws for  
their sovereign which1 limiting their   
powers1 still preserved  their          
privileges to them1 in such wise that if
 anyone wishes to deprive  them of them1
 they become enraged and rush to arms   
with such speed  that nothing can hold  
them back when this point is involved4  
,as to the  third point1 ,i declare that
 ,france is so enamoured of liberty that
 she  cannot endure a slave1 so that    
,turks and ,moors and still less        
,christian  people1 may never wear irons
 nor be loaded with chains once in her  
country1 and thus it comes about1 that  

when slaves come to be in ,france  they 
are no sooner on her territory than1    
full of joy1 they cry3 ,long  live      
,france and her beloved liberty60       
,les dlices de la ,france 444 by        
,franois ,savinien d',alqui1 ,amsterdam 
#afgj4    ,chapter ,,xvi4 entitled      
8,france is a land of freedom for all   
sorts of  people40          ,,xvi       
,,history      ,monsieur ,roman placed  
half a dozen volumes on the counter4    
8,i beg of you1 ,monsieur ,blaizot10    
said he1 8to send me these books4       
8,there are #8,mother and ,son1' the    
#8,memoirs of the ,court of ,france1'   
and  the #8,testament of ,richelieu4' ,i
 should be grateful if you will add to  
them anything new you have received     
lately in the way of history1 and  more 
particularly1 anything treating of      
,france since the death of ,henry       
,,iv4444 ,all these are works in which  
,i am extremely interested40    8,you   
are right1 ,monsieur10 said my master4  
8,books on history are full  of light   

stuff very suitable to amuse an honest  
fellow1 and one is sure  of finding a   
great number of pleasant stories40      
8,monsieur l',abb10 answered ,monsieur  
,roman1 8what ,i look for from the      
historians is not frivolous amusement4  
,it is a serious study1 and ,i am       
filled with despair if ,i find fiction  
mingled with fact4 ,i study human       
actions in relation to the conduct of   
nations1 and ,i seek for maxims of      
government in history40    8,i am not   
ignorant of that1 ,monsieur10 said my   
good master4 8,your  treatise on        
#8,monarchy' is renowned enough for us  
to know that you have  conceived a      
political system drawn from history40   
8,in such sort10 said ,monsieur ,roman1 
8,i have been the first to draw  rules  
for princes and ministers which they    
cannot avoid without danger40    8,and  
we behold you1 ,monsieur1 on the        
frontispiece of your book1 in the       
likeness of ,minerva1 presenting to a   
youthful king the mirror handed  you by 

the muse1 ,clio1 hovering above your    
head1 in a study decked with  busts and 
pictures4 ,but allow me to tell you1    
,monsieur1 that this muse  is a         
story-teller1 and that she holds out to 
you a mirror of falsehood4  ,there are  
few truths in history1 and the only     
facts on which all agree  are those we  
get from a single source4 ,historians   
contradict one  another every time they 
meet4 ,even more6 ,we see that ,flavius 
,josephus1  who has pourtrayed the same 
incidents in his #8,antiquities' and in 
his  #8,wars of the ,jews1' records them
 differently in each of these works4    
,titus ,livius is but a collector of    
fables2 and ,tacitus1 your oracle1      
gives me the impression of an unsmiling 
deceiver who flouts all the  world under
 a pretence of gravity4 ,i have a       
sufficient esteem for  ,thucydides1     
,polybius1 and ,guicciardini4 ,as for   
our own ,mzeray1 he does  not know what 
he is saying1 any more than do ,villaret
 and ,abb ,vly4  ,but ,i am accusing    

historians2 it is history itself ,i     
should attack4    8,what is history8 ,a 
miscellany of moral tales1 or an        
eloquent medley of  narratives and      
speeches1 according as the historian is 
a philosopher  or a spouter4 ,you may   
find eloquent passages1 but one must not
 look  for the truth there1 because     
truth consists in showing the necessary 
relation of things1 and the historian   
does not know how to establish  this    
relation1 because he is unable to follow
 the chain of effects  and causes4      
,consider that every time that the cause
 of an historical  fact lies in a fact  
that is not historical1 history fails to
 see it4  ,and as historical facts are  
intimately allied to non-historical     
facts1  it comes about that events are  
not linked after their natural order  in
 history1 but are connected one with    
another by mere artifices of  rhetoric4 
,and ,i ask you also to notice that the 
distinction between  facts which appear 
in history and facts which do not is    

entirely  arbitrary4 ,it results from   
this that1 far from being a science1    
history  is condemned by a vice in its  
essence to the chaos of untruth4        
,sequence and continuity will always be 
lacking to it1 and without  these there 
can be no true knowledge4 ,you see also 
that one can draw  no prognostic as to  
the future of a nation from its past    
history4 ,now1  the peculiarity of      
science is to be prophetic1 as may be   
seen by those  tables where the moon's  
periods1 tides1 and eclipses are to be  
found  calculated beforehand1 whilst    
revolutions and wars escape             
calculation40    ,monsieur ,roman       
explained to ,monsieur l',abb ,coignard 
that he merely  asked of history facts1 
somewhat confused it is true1 uncertain1
  mingled with errors1 but infinitely   
precious1 through their subject1  which 
is man4    8,i know10 he added1 8how    
human annals are curtailed and mixed    
with  fable4 ,but1 though a strict      
sequence of cause and effect fails us1  

,i  see in it a kind of plan that one   
loses and then finds again1 like the    
ruins of temples half-buried in the     
sand4 ,that alone is of immense  value  
to me4 ,and ,i flatter myself that1 in  
the future1 history1  formed from       
abundant material and treated with      
method1 will rival in  exactitude the   
natural sciences40    8,do not reckon on
 that10 said my good master1 8,i should 
rather believe  that the growing        
abundance of memoirs1 correspondence1   
and filed  records1 will render the task
 more difficult to future historians4   
,mr4 ,elward1 who gives up his life to  
the study of the revolution in          
,england1 assures me that one man's     
lifetime would not suffice in  which to 
read the half of what was written during
 the disturbances4  ,it reminds me of a 
story told to me by ,monsieur l',abb    
,blanchet on  this subject1 which ,i    
will tell you as ,i remember it1        
regretting that  ,monsieur l',abb       
,blanchet is not here to tell it you    

himself1 for he is  a man of wit4       
8,here is the apologue3    8,when the   
young prince ,zmire succeeded his father
 on the throne of  ,persia1 he called   
all the academicians of his kingdom     
together1 and  said3    8#8,the learned 
,zeb1 my instructor1 has taught me that 
monarchs would be  liable to fewer      
errors if they were enlightened by past 
experience4  ,therefore ,i wish to study
 the history of nations4 ,i order you to
  compose a universal history and to    
neglect nothing to make it complete4'   
8,the wise men promised to carry out the
 prince's desire1 and having  withdrawn 
they set to work immediately4 ,at the   
end of twenty years they  appeared      
before the king1 followed by a caravan  
composed of twelve  camels each bearing 
#ejj volumes4 ,the secretary of the     
academy1 having  prostrated himself on  
the steps of the throne1 spoke in these 
terms3    8#8,sire1 the academicians of 
your kingdom have the honour to place   
at your feet the universal history that 

they have compiled at your  majesty's   
behests4 ,it comprises #fjjj volumes and
 contains all that  we could possibly   
collect regarding the customs of nations
 and the  vicissitudes of empires4 ,we  
have inserted the ancient chronicles    
which  have been luckily preserved1 and 
we have illustrated them with abundant  
notes on geography1 chronology1 and     
diplomacy4 ,the prolegomena are  alone  
one camel's load1 and the paralipomena  
are borne with great  difficulty by     
another camel4'    8,the king answered3 
8#8,gentlemen1 ,i thank you for the     
trouble that you have taken4 ,but ,i  am
 very busy with the cares of state4     
,moreover1 ,i have aged while you       
worked4 ,i am arrived1 as says the      
,persian poet1 half-way along the road  
of life1 and even supposing ,i die full 
of years1 ,i cannot reasonably  hope to 
have the time to read such a lengthy    
history4 ,it shall be  placed in the    
archives of the kingdom4 ,be good enough
 to make me a  summary better fitted to 

the brevity of human life4'    8,the    
,persian academicians worked twenty     
years2 then they brought to  the king   
#aejj volumes on three camels4          
8#8,sire1' said the permanent secretary1
 in a weakened voice1 #8here is  our new
 work4 ,we believe we have omitted      
nothing essential4'    8#8,that may be1'
 answered the king1 #8but ,i shall not  
read it4 ,i am old2  lengthy            
undertakings do not suit my years2      
abridge it further and do  not be long  
about it4'    8,they lingered so little 
that at the end of ten years they       
returned  followed by a young elephant  
bearing #ejj volumes4    8#8,i flatter  
myself ,i have been succinct1' said the 
permanent secretary4    8#8,you have not
 yet been sufficiently so1' answered the
 king4    8#8,i am at the end of my     
life4 ,abridge1 abridge1 if you want me 
to know  the history of mankind ere ,i  
die4'    8,the permanent secretary      
reappeared before the palace at the end 
of  five years4 ,walking with crutches1 

he held by the bridle a small donkey    
which bore a big book on its back4      
8#8,hasten1' said the officer to him1   
#8the king is dying4'    8,the king in  
fact was on his death-bed4 ,he turned on
 the academician  and his big book his  
nearly expiring gaze1 and said with a   
sigh3    8#8,i shall die1 then1 without 
knowing the history of mankind6'        
8#8,sire1' replied the learned man1 who 
was almost as near death as  himself1   
#8,i will sum it up for you in three    
words3 ,they were born1  they suffered1 
they died6'    8,thus did the king of   
,persia learn the history of the world  
in the  evening of his life40           
,,xvii    ,,monsieur ,,nicod,,me        
,while1 at the sign of the ,image de    
,sainte ,catherine1 my good master1     
seated on the highest rung of the       
ladder1 was reading ,cassiodorus with   
great pleasure1 an elderly man came into
 the shop1 of an arrogant air1  and     
severe aspect4 ,he went straight to     
,monsieur ,blaizot1 who smilingly       

stretched his head over the counter4    
8,monsieur10 he said1 8you are sworn    
bookseller1 and ,i must take you for  a 
well-conducted man4 ,nevertheless1 in   
your display of goods a volume  of the  
works of ,ronsard is open at the        
frontispiece1 which represents a  naked 
woman4 ,and it is a thing not fit to be 
looked at40    8,pardon me1 ,monsieur10 
replied ,monsieur ,blaizot1 gently1 8it 
is a  frontispiece of ,lonard ,gautier's
 who1 in his day1 was considered a  very
 able draughtsman40    8,it matters     
little to me10 replied the elder1 8that 
the draughtsman  was clever4 ,all that  
,i take into consideration is that he   
represented  nudities4 ,this figure has 
nothing on but its hair1 and ,i am      
grievously  surprised1 ,monsieur1 that a
 man of age and prudence1 such as you   
appear1 should expose it to the gaze of 
the young men who frequent the  ,rue    
,st4 ,jacques4 ,you would do well to    
burn it1 following the example of       
,father ,garasse1 who expended his means

 in acquiring1 in order to burn  them1 a
 number of books opposed to public      
decency and to the ,society  of ,jesus4 
,at least1 it would be more decent in   
you to hide it in the  most secret      
recess of your shop1 which conceals1 ,i 
fear1 many a book  calculated to excite 
minds to vice1 not only by their text1  
but by  their plates40    ,monsieur     
,blaizot replied1 reddening1 that such a
 suspicion was unjust1  and it grieved  
him coming from a worthy man4    8,i    
must tell you who ,i am10 said the      
elder4 8,you see before you  ,monsieur  
,nicodme1 the ,president of the ,purity 
,league4 ,the end that ,i  pursue is to 
outdo in niceness in the matter of      
modesty the regulations  of the         
,lieutenant de ,police4 ,i busy myself1 
with the help of a  dozen ,parliamentary
 councillors1 and two hundred           
churchwardens from  the principal       
parishes1 in clearing away nudities     
exposed in public  places1 such as      
squares1 boulevards1 streets1 alleys1   

quays1 courts1  and gardens4 ,and1 not  
content with establishing modesty in the
 public  way1 ,i exert myself to spread 
its dominion even into the salon1 the   
study1 and the bedroom1 whence it is but
 too often banished4 ,know1  ,monsieur1 
that the ,society that ,i have founded  
has trousseaux made for  young married  
people1 containing long and ample       
night-garments which  permit these young
 spouses chastely to go about the       
execution of ,god's  commandment        
relative to increase and multiplication4
 ,and1 to mingle  charm1 if ,i may say  
so1 with austerity1 these garments are  
trimmed with  pleasing embroidery4 ,i   
plume myself on having thus invented    
garments of  an intimate nature so well 
designed to make another ,sarah and     
,tobias of  all our young couples1 and  
to cleanse the sacrament of marriage    
from  the impurities which unfortunately
 have clung to it40    ,my good master1 
who1 his nose in ,cassiodorus1 had been 
listening to  their discourse1 replied  

with the utmost gravity from the top of 
his  ladder1 that he thought the        
invention admirable1 and praiseworthy1  
but  that he had a still more excellent 
one of the kind4    8,i would that our  
young spouses10 said he1 8were rubbed   
from head  to foot with blacking before 
they met1 making their skin like        
boot-leather1 which would greatly damp  
the criminal ardours of the  flesh1 and 
be a grievous obstacle to the caresses1 
kisses1 and  endearments that lovers    
practise too generally between the      
sheets40    ,monsieur ,nicodme1 lifting 
his head at these words1 saw my good    
master  on the ladder1 and saw also from
 his demeanour that he was laughing at  
him4    8,monsieur l',abb10 said he1    
with sadness and indignation1 8,i would 
forgive you did you merely laugh at me4 
,but you ridicule at the same  time1    
decency and public morals1 and there you
 are much to blame4 ,in  spite of wicked
 jokes1 the ,society that ,i have       
founded has already done  good and      

useful work4 ,crack your jokes1 sir6 ,we
 have fixed six hundred  vine or        
fig-leaves on the statues in the king's 
gardens40    8,admirable indeed1 sir10  
responded my good master1 adjusting his 
spectacles1 8and at that rate every     
statue will soon have its leaf4  ,but   
7seeing that objects have no meaning for
 us save by association of  ideas7 in   
placing vine-leaves and fig-leaves on   
statues1 you transfer  the quality of   
indecency to the leaves2 so that one can
 no longer  see vine or fig-tree on the 
countryside without conceiving them as  
sheltering some indecency2 and it is no 
small sin1 my good sir1 to fix          
immodesty on these innocent plants4     
,allow me to tell you further that  it  
is a dangerous thing to make a study1 as
 you do1 of everything that  may cause  
disquietude and uneasiness to the flesh1
 without reflecting  that if a given    
shape be such as to scandalise souls1   
each of us who  bears the original of   
that shape will scandalise himself1     

except he be  less than a man--a thing  
one does not like to contemplate40      
8,monsieur10 responded the aged         
,nicodme1 rather heatedly1 8,i gather   
from the language you hold that you are 
a libertine and a debauchee40           
8,monsieur10 said my good master1 8,i am
 a ,christian1 and as for living  in    
debauchery1 ,i could not think of such a
 thing1 having enough to  do to gain my 
daily bread1 wine1 and tobacco4 ,such as
 you see me1  ,monsieur1 ,i know no orgy
 but the silent orgies of meditation1   
and the  only feast ,i sit down to is   
the feast of the ,muses4 ,but ,i1 as a  
wise  man1 consider that it is a bad    
thing to outbid in shamefacedness the   
teachings of the ,catholic religion1    
which on this subject allows a good     
deal of liberty1 and adjusts itself     
easily to people's customs and          
prejudices4 ,i take you to be tainted   
with ,calvinism and to be leaning  to   
the heresy of iconoclasm4 ,for1 in      
truth1 one does not know whether  your  

zeal will not go so far as to burn      
images of ,god and the saints1  from    
hatred of the humanity evident in them4 
,such words as modesty1  decency1 and   
shame1 which come so readily from your  
mouth1 have as a  matter of fact no     
precise and constant meaning4 ,custom   
and nice feeling  can alone define them 
with truth and moderation4 ,i only      
acknowledge  poets1 artists1 and pretty 
women1 as judges in these delicate      
matters4  ,what an extraordinary notion1
 to set up a row of attorneys in        
judgment  on ,grace and ,pleasure60     
8,but1 ,monsieur10 replied the aged     
,nicodme1 8we have nothing to do with   
,smiles or ,graces1 still less with     
images of ,god and the saints1 and you  
are maliciously fastening a quarrel on  
us4 ,we are decent people1 who  wish to 
turn aside the eyes of our sons from    
improper sights1 and one  knows well    
enough what is decent and what is not4  
,do you wish1 ,monsieur  l',abb1 that   
our young people should be open to every

 temptation of the  streets80    8,ah6  
,monsieur10 replied my good master4 8,we
 must all be tempted4 ,it is  the lot of
 men and ,christians on this earth4 ,and
 the most formidable  temptation comes  
from within--not from without4 ,you     
would not take so  much trouble to      
remove from the shop windows any sketch 
of nude women  if1 as ,i have done1 you 
had studied the lives of the ,fathers of
 the  desert4 ,there you would have seen
 how1 in a frightful wilderness1 far    
from any carved or painted shape1 torn  
with hair-shirts1 macerated with        
penance1 faint from fasting1 tossing on 
a bed of thorns1 the anchorites  were   
penetrated to the very marrow with the  
prickings of carnal  desire4 ,in their  
wretched cells they saw visions a       
thousand times more  voluptuous than    
this allegory which offends you in      
,monsieur ,blaizot's  window4    8,the  
devil1 or1 as free-thinkers would say1  
nature1 is a better painter  of         
lascivious scenes than ,giulio ,romano  

himself4 ,he surpasses all the  ,italian
 and ,flemish masters in grouping1      
movement1 and colour4 ,alas6  one is    
powerless against his glowing pictures4 
,those that shock you  are of small     
account in comparison1 and you would do 
wisely to leave  to the care of the     
,lieutenant de ,police1 as your fellow  
citizens are  willing it should be left1
 the guardianship of public decency4    
,truly  your ingenuousness astonishes   
me2 you have little notion what a man   
is1  and what society is1 and of the    
fever and insurgence of a great city4   
,oh6 the silly greybeards1 who in the   
midst of all the uncleanness  of a      
,babylon where every lifted curtain     
shows the eye or the arm of  a          
courtesan1 where busy humanity touch and
 quicken one another in  the public     
squares1 fall a-groaning and complaining
 of a few naughty  pictures hung up on  
book-sellers' stalls2 and carry their   
lamentations  even to the very          
,parliament of the kingdom when a woman 

has shown her  legs to some fellows in a
 dancing-saloon--just the most ordinary 
sight  in the world for them40    ,thus 
spoke my good master from the top of his
 ladder4 ,but ,monsieur  ,nicodme       
stopped his ears in order not to hear   
him1 and cried out on  his cynicism4    
8,heavens60 he sighed1 8what can be more
 disgusting than a naked woman1  and how
 shameful to compromise1 as does this   
,abb1 with an immorality  which is the  
ruin of a country1 for people can only  
exist by purity of  morals40    8,it is 
true1 ,monsieur10 said my good master1  
8that peoples are strong  only so long  
as they preserve their morals2 but by   
that is understood  a community of      
rules1 opinions1 and interests1 and a   
generous-minded  obedience to law2 not  
trifles such as occupy you4 ,beware1    
moreover1  lest shamefacedness1 failing 
as a charm1 become but a piece of       
stupidity1 and less the artless dullness
 of your fears present a  ridiculous    
spectacle and one not a little          

indecent40    ,but ,monsieur ,nicodme   
had already left the place4             
,,xviii    ,,justice      ,monsieur     
l',abb ,coignard1 who should rather have
 been nourished at the  ,prytaneum by a 
grateful republic1 gained his bread by  
writing letters  for servant-girls in a 
stall near the cemetery of the          
,innocents4 ,there  he happened to serve
 in the office of secretary to a        
,portuguese lady  who was crossing      
,france1 with her nigger-boy4 ,she gave 
him a liard  for a letter written to her
 husband1 and an cu of six livres for   
another to her lover4 ,it was the first 
cu my good master had handled  since the
 feast of ,st4 ,john2 and since he was  
open-handed1 even to  magnificence1 he  
straightway took me to the ,pomme d',or1
 on the ,quai  de ,grve1 close to the   
,town-hall1 where the wine is not       
doctored1 and  the sausages are of the  
best4 ,and the big dealers1 who buy     
apples  on the ,mall1 go there          
ordinarily towards midday to try to best

 one  another4 ,it was spring-time1 and 
sweet to be alive on such a day4 ,my    
good master had our table spread on the 
embankment1 and we hearkened1  as we    
dined1 to the lapping of the water under
 the oars of the boatmen4  ,a light     
caressing breeze laved us with gentle   
breath1 and we were  glad to be alive   
and in the sunlight4 ,while we were     
eating our fried  gudgeons a noise of   
men and horses at our elbow made us turn
 round4    ,guessing what made us       
curious a dingy little old man1 at the  
next  table1 said1 with an obliging     
smile3    8,it is nothing1 gentlemen--a 
servant-girl whom they are taking to be 
hanged for stealing some bits of lace   
from her mistress40    ,and indeed1 as  
he spoke1 we saw1 seated at the tail of 
a cart between  two mounted             
police-sergeants1 a girl1 quite pretty1 
her appearance  bewildered1 her bosom   
forced into relief by the drag of her   
arms1 which  were bound behind her back4
 ,she passed in a moment1 and yet ,i    

shall  always see before my eyes that   
vision of a white face1 and that look   
that already stared out upon nothing4   
8,yes1 gentlemen10 said the dingy little
 old man1 8she is the servant  of       
,madame ,josse1 the councillor's wife1  
and to make herself smart when  going   
with her lover to ,ramponneau's stole   
from her mistress a lace  head-dress in 
point a' ,alenon1 and then1 having      
committed the  theft1 ran away4 ,she was
 taken in a house by the                
,pont-au-,change1 and at  once confessed
 her crime4 ,accordingly she was not put
 to the torture  for more than an hour  
or two4 ,what ,i tell you1 gentlemen1 ,i
 know to be  true1 as ,i am beadle at   
the court where she was tried40    ,the 
dingy little old man attacked his       
sausage1 for it was getting cold1  and  
continued3    8,she should be at the    
scaffold by now1 and in five minutes1   
perhaps a  little more1 perhaps a little
 less1 the pretty rogue will have given 
up  the ghost4 ,some of the hanged give 

no trouble to the executioner4 ,no      
sooner is the cord round their neck than
 they quietly expire4 ,but there  are   
others who positively live at the rope's
 end1 and make a furious  to-do about   
it4 ,the most demoniacal of all was a   
priest1 who was  sentenced last year for
 forging the ,royal signature on lottery
 tickets4  ,for more than twenty minutes
 he fought like a carp on the end of a  
line4    8,he6 ,he60 chuckled the little
 old man1 8the ,abb was modest and did  
not want the honour of a step up in the 
world4 ,i saw him when they  took him   
out of the cart4 ,he cried and struggled
 so that the hangman  said to him3 #8,do
 not be a child1 ,monsieur l',abb6' ,but
 the oddest  thing was1 that1 there     
being another thief along with him1 he  
was1 at  first1 taken for the chaplain1 
and that by the executioner1 whom the   
police-officer had the greatest         
difficulty in undeceiving4 ,wasn't that 
amusing80    8,no1 ,monsieur10 replied  
my good master1 letting the fish1 he had

  held to his lips for some moments1    
fall on his plate4 8,no1 it is not      
amusing1 and the thought that that      
nice-looking girl is at this moment     
yielding up her soul spoils the taste of
 my gudgeons for me1 and the  joy of    
seeing the sky above1 which smiled on me
 but a moment back40    8,ah1 ,monsieur 
l',abb10 said the little official1 8if  
you are so  sensitive as all that1 you  
could never have witnessed without      
fainting  what my father saw with his   
own eyes1 when yet a child1 at ,dijon1  
his  native town4 ,have you ever heard  
speak of ,hlne ,gillet80    8,never10   
said my master4    8,in that case ,i    
will tell you her story1 as my father1  
many a time1  told it to me40    ,he    
drank off his wine1 wiped his lips with 
a corner of the cloth1 and  recounted   
the history ,i here repeat4             
,,xix    ,,the ,,beadle',s ,,story      
,in the year #afbd1 in the month of     
,october1 ,hlne ,gillet1 aged           
twenty-two1 daughter of the             

governor-royal of ,bourg-en-,bresse1 who
 was  still under the paternal roof1    
along with her brothers yet of tender   
years1 showed such visible signs of     
being with child that it was the  talk  
of the town1 and the young girls of     
,bourg ceased to associate with  her4   
,it was noticed next that her figure    
went down1 and such comments  were made 
that the ,lieutenant-,criminel ordered  
her to be examined by  a jury of        
matrons4 ,these latter reported that she
 had been with child  and that her      
confinement had taken place at least    
fifteen days before4  ,on their report1 
,hlne ,gillet was put in prison and was 
questioned by  the ,court of ,first     
,instance4 ,she there made a confession3
    8#8,some months ago1' she told them1
 #8a young man from the  neighbourhood1 
who was staying at my uncle's house1    
came to my father's  to teach the boys  
to read and write4 ,he possessed me but 
once4 ,it  was through a servant who    
locked me up in a room with him4 ,there 

he  ravished me4' ,and when they asked  
her why she had not cried for help1  she
 replied that surprise had taken away   
her voice4 ,pressed by the  judges1 she 
added1 that in consequence of this      
violation she became  with child and was
 delivered prematurely4 ,far from having
 helped on the  birth1 she would not    
have known what it was1 had not a       
servant revealed  to her the true nature
 of the occurrence4    8,the            
magistrates1 dissatified with her       
replies1 did not know1 all the  same1   
how to contradict them1 when an         
unexpected witness came forward  to     
furnish certain proofs of the           
accusation4 ,a soldier1 who happened  to
 pass when out walking by the garden of 
,monsieur ,pierre ,gillet1 the          
governor-royal1 father of the accused1  
saw in a ditch1 at the foot of  the     
wall1 a raven trying to pull away a     
cloth with its beak4 ,he went  up to it 
to see what it was and found the body of
 a little child4  ,he immediately       

informed the authorities4 ,the child was
 wrapped in  a chemise marked with the  
letters ,h4 ,g4 on the neck4 ,it was    
proved  to have been a full-term child1 
and ,hlne ,gillet1 convicted of         
infanticide1 was condemned to death     
according to custom4 ,on account of  the
 honourable post held by her father she 
was permitted to enjoy the  privilege   
accorded those of noble birth1 and the  
sentence ran that her  head should be   
cut off4    8,an appeal having been made
 to the ,parliament of ,dijon1 she was  
conducted under the guard of two archers
 to the capital of ,burgundy1  and shut 
in the conciergerie of the ,palace4 ,her
 mother1 who had gone  with her1        
withdrew to the house of the ,bernardine
 nuns4 ,the case was  heard by the      
members of ,parliament on ,monday the   
#abth of ,may1 the last  sitting before 
,whitsuntide4 ,on the report of         
,counsellor ,jacob the  judges confirmed
 the sentence of the ,bourg ,court of   
,first ,instance1  ordering that the    

condemned should be led to execution    
with the cord  round her neck4 ,it was  
generally remarked that this            
circumstance of  infamy was added in a  
strange and unusual fashion to the      
punishment of  a noble1 and such        
severity1 which was against all rules1  
was greatly  blamed4 ,but the decree    
admitted of no appeal1 and had to be    
carried out  immediately4    8,and      
indeed1 on the same day1 at half-past   
three in the afternoon1  ,hlne ,gillet  
was led to the scaffold1 the bells      
tolling the while1 in  a procession1    
heralded by trumpets1 which sounded such
 a peal that all  the good folk of the  
town heard it in their houses1 and      
falling on  their knees prayed for the  
soul of her who was about to die4 ,the  
deputy  ,king's-attorney advanced on    
horseback followed by his attendants4   
,then  came the condemned woman in a    
cart1 the cord round her neck according 
to the decree of ,parliament4    8,she  
was attended by two ,jesuit fathers and 

two ,capuchin brothers1 who  held up    
before her ,jesus dying on the ,cross4  
,near by stood the headsman  with his   
sword and the headswoman with a pair of 
shears4 ,a company of  archers          
surrounded the cart4 ,behind pressed a  
crowd of curious people  where might    
have been discerned many small          
tradesmen1 bakers1 butchers1  masons1   
from whom a great tumult arose4    8,the
 procession stopped on the place called 
,place ,morimont not1 as  might be      
thought1 because it was the place of    
public execution1 but  in remembrance of
 the mitred and croziered abbots of     
,morimont1 who  formerly had their house
 there4 ,the wooden scaffold was set up 
on some  stone steps adjoining a humble 
chapel where the monks were wont to pray
  for the souls of the victims4         
8,hlne ,gillet ascended the steps with  
the four religious1 the  headsman1 and  
his wife the headswoman4 ,the latter1   
having withdrawn  the cord which        
encircled the victim's neck1 cut her    

hair with shears  half a foot long and  
bandaged her eyes2 the religious prayed 
aloud4  ,the headsman1 however1 began to
 tremble and turn pale4 ,he was one1    
,simon ,grandjean1 a feeble-looking man1
 and as gentle and timorous  of         
appearance as his wife1 the headswoman1 
was savage4 ,he had taken  communion    
that morning in prison1 and yet he felt 
upset and without  courage to put this  
child to death4 ,he leant over towards  
the crowd3    8#8,your pardon1 all of   
you1' he said1 #8if ,i do what ,i have  
to do badly4  ,i have a fever on me ,i  
have been unable to shake off for three 
months4'    8,then tottering1 wringing  
his hands1 lifting his eyes to heaven1  
he  fell on his knees before ,hlne      
,gillet1 and twice asked her pardon4 ,he
  asked a blessing from the priests1 and
 when the headswoman had arranged  the  
victim on the block he lifted his sword4
    8,the ,jesuits and the ,capuchins   
cried out #8,jesus6 ,mary6' and a groan 
went up from the crowd4 ,the blow1 which

 should have severed the neck1  made a  
large gash on the left shoulder1 and the
 poor creature fell over  on her right  
side4    8,simon ,grandjean1 turning to 
the crowd1 exclaimed3    8#8,let me     
die6'    8,hooting arose1 and some      
stones were thrown on the scaffold where
 the  headswoman was replacing the      
victim on the block4    8,her husband   
again took his sword4 ,striking a second
 time1 he deeply  gashed the neck of the
 poor girl1 who fell on the sword1 which
 slipped  from the hands of the         
executioner4    8,this time the uproar  
from the crowd was terrible1 and such a 
hail of  stones showered on the scaffold
 that ,simon ,grandjean and the ,jesuits
  and the ,capuchins jumped down4 ,they 
managed to gain the low-roofed  chapel  
and shut themselves in4 ,the headswoman1
 left alone with the  victim1 looked for
 the sword4 ,not seeing it1 she took the
 cord with  which ,hlne ,gillet had been
 led there1 knotted it round the neck1  
and  setting her foot on her chest tried

 to strangle her4    8,hlne1 seizing the
 cord with both hands1 defended herself1
 all  bleeding as she was2 whereupon the
 woman ,grandjean dragged her by the    
cord1 head downwards1 to the edge of the
 platform1 and1 having got her  to the  
stone steps1 she cut her throat with the
 shears4    8,she was at it when the    
butchers and the masons1 upsetting the  
archers  and the police1 rushed the     
approaches of the scaffold and chapel3 a
  dozen strong arms lifted ,hlne ,gillet
 and carried her1 insensible1 to  the   
shop of ,matre ,jacquin1 the            
barber-surgeon4    8,the crowd of people
 which flung itself on the chapel-door  
would soon  have forced it4 ,but the two
 ,capuchin brothers and the two ,jesuit 
fathers opened it1 being terrified4 ,and
 holding up their crosses with          
outstretched arm1 they made a way with  
great difficulty through the  riot4     
8,the headsman and his wife were stoned1
 and struck down with hammers1  and     
their bodies dragged through the        

streets4 ,hlne ,gillet1 however1        
recovering consciousness at the         
surgeon's1 asked to drink4 ,then1 while 
,matre ,jacquin was dressing her wound1 
she said3    8#8,shall ,i not have      
anything more to suffer8'    8,it was   
found that she had suffered two blows   
with the sword1 six  cuts from the      
shears1 which had slashed her lips and  
throat1 and that  her loins had been    
deeply cut by the sword1 over which the 
headswoman  dragged her while trying to 
strangle her2 and finally that her whole
  body was bruised by the stones the    
crowd had thrown on the scaffold4       
8,nevertheless she was healed of all her
 wounds4 ,left in the hands of  ,jacquin
 the surgeon1 under guard of a sheriff's
 officer1 she asked  continually3       
8#8,is it not over8 ,will they kill me8'
    8,the surgeon1 and some charitable  
people who stood by her1 were urgent  in
 reassuring her4 ,but only the king     
could grant her her life4 ,fvret1  the  
advocate1 drew up a petition which was  

signed by many notables of  ,dijon1 and 
carried to his ,majesty4 ,festivities   
were being held at the  court at that   
moment on account of the marriage of    
,henrietta-,maria of  ,france with the  
,king of ,england4 ,on the score of this
 marriage1 ,louis  the ,just granted the
 favour asked4    8,he gave a full      
pardon to the poor girl1 deeming1 as the
 letters of  remission said1 that she   
had suffered tortures which equalled1   
nay even  surpassed1 the penalty of her 
sentence4    8,hlne ,gillet1 restored to
 life1 withdrew into a convent at ,brest
  where she practised up to the time of 
her death1 the strictest piety4  ,such10
 said the little official1 8is the true 
history of ,hlne ,gillet1  as every one 
in ,dijon knows4 ,do you not find it    
entertaining1 ,monsieur  l',abb80       
,,xx    ,,justice 7continued7           
8,alas60 said my good master1 8,i cannot
 stomach my food4 ,my heart  is as sick 
at this horrible scene1 which you have  
described so  cold-bloodedly1 sir1 as at

 the sight of this servant of ,madame   
,josse's  whom they are taking to be    
hanged1 when something better might be  
made  of her40    8,but1 ,monsieur10    
retorted the beadle1 8have ,i not told  
you that this  girl has stolen from her 
mistress2 and do you not wish thieves to
 be  hanged80    8,certainly10 said my  
good master1 8it is customary2 and as   
the force of  custom is irresistible1 ,i
 pay no attention to it in my ordinary  
course  of life4 ,in the same way       
,seneca1 the philosopher1 who           
nevertheless  inclined to mildness1 put 
together treatises of consummate        
elegance1  even while near to him1 at   
,rome1 slaves were crucified for the    
smallest fault1 as we see in the case of
 the slave ,mithridates1 who  died1 his 
hands nailed to the cross2 merely guilty
 of having blasphemed  the divinity of  
his master1 the infamous ,trimalchio4   
,we are so made  that nothing usual or  
customary either troubles or wounds us4 
,and  habit wears away1 if ,i may say   

so1 our indignation as well as our      
astonishment4 ,i wake up every morning  
without thinking1 ,i own1 of the        
unhappy beings who are to be hanged or  
broken upon the wheel during the  day4  
,but when the thought of torture becomes
 more perceptible to me my  heart is    
troubled1 and the sight of this handsome
 girl led to her death  contracts my    
throat to the point of refusing passage 
to this little  fish40    8,what is a   
handsome girl80 said the beadle4 8,there
 is not a street in  ,paris where they  
don't make them by the dozen every      
night4 ,why did this  one steal from her
 mistress1 ,madame ,josse80    8,i know 
nothing of that1 ,monsieur10 gravely    
answered my good master1  8you know     
nothing1 and the judges who condemned   
her knew no more1 for  the reasons of   
our actions are obscure1 and their      
springs remain deeply  hidden4 ,i hold  
man free as regards his deeds1 as my    
religion teaches  me to believe1 but    
beyond the doctrine of the ,church1     

which is sure1  there is so little      
ground for believing in the freedom of  
mankind1 that  ,i tremble when ,i think 
of decrees of justice punishing actions 
whose  mainspring1 sequence1 and causes1
 all equally escape us1 where the will  
plays often but a small part1 and which 
are sometimes accomplished  without     
consciousness4 ,if1 finally1 we are     
responsible for our acts1  since the    
system of our holy religion is founded  
on the mysterious  accord between human 
free-will and divine grace1 it is an    
error to  deduce from this obscure and  
delicate liberty all the troubles1 all  
the  tortures1 and all the suffering of 
which our laws are prodigal40    8,i    
perceive with sorrow1 ,monsieur10 said  
the dingy little man1 8that  you are on 
the side of the rogues40    8,alas6     
,monsieur10 said my good master1 8they  
are part of suffering  humanity1 and    
members like ourselves of ,jesus ,christ
 who died between  two thieves4 ,i seem 
to perceive cruelties in our laws which 

will appear  more distinctly in the     
future1 and over which our posterity    
will wax  indignant40    8,i do not     
agree with you1 ,monsieur10 said the    
other1 drinking a little  gulp of wine4 
8,all the gothic barbarity has been     
pared away from  our laws and customs1  
and justice is to-day restrained and    
humane  to excess4 ,punishment is       
exactly proportioned to crime1 and you  
see  thieves hanged1 murderers broken on
 the wheel1 traitors torn by four       
horses1 atheists1 sorcerers1 and        
sodomites burnt1 coiners boiled alive2  
in all which criminal law exhibits      
extreme moderation and all possible     
mildness40    8,monsieur1 in all times  
judges have believed themselves to be   
benevolent1 equitable1 and gentle4 ,in  
the gothic ages of ,st4 ,louis1 and     
even of ,charlemagne1 they admired their
 own benignity1 which appears to  us    
to-day as savage4 ,i divine that1 in    
their turn1 our sons will judge  us as  
savage1 and that they will find still   

something more to pare away  from the   
tortures and punishments which we       
inflict40    8,monsieur1 you are not    
speaking as a magistrate4 ,torture is   
necessary  to extract confessions       
unobtainable by gentle means4 ,as to    
punishments1  they are reduced to what  
is necessary to assure safety of their  
life  and goods to citizens40    8,you  
acknowledge then1 ,monsieur1 that       
justice has for its object not  what is 
just1 but what is useful1 and that it is
 inspired only by the  interests and    
prejudices of peoples4 ,nothing is more 
true1 and faults  are punished not in   
proportion to the malice attached to    
them1 but  in view of the harm they     
cause1 or which it is believed they     
cause1  to society in general4 ,thus1   
coiners are put into a copper of boiling
  water1 although1 in reality1 there is 
little malice in striking false  coins4 
,but the public1 and financiers in      
particular1 suffer a marked  damage     
therefrom4 ,it is this loss for which   

they avenge themselves with  pitiless   
cruelty4 ,thieves are hanged1 less for  
the perversity that  lies in taking     
bread1 and clothes1 which is1 by the    
way1 excessively  small1 than for the   
reason of the natural attachment men    
have for their  possessions4 ,it is     
expedient to restore human justice to   
its true  reason--which is the material 
interest of men1 and to disengage it    
from  all high philosophy--with which it
 pompously and hypocritically veils     
itself40    8,monsieur10 replied the    
little official1 8,i do not understand  
you4 ,it  appears to me that justice is 
the more equitable the more useful it   
is1  and this usefulness itself1 which  
makes you disdain it1 ought to render   
it august and sacred to you40    8,you  
do not understand me10 said my good     
master4    8,monsieur10 said the little 
official1 8,i notice that you are       
drinking  nothing4 ,your wine is good if
 ,i may judge by the colour of it4 ,may 
,i  not taste it80    ,it is true that  

for the first time in his life my good  
master had left  some wine at the bottom
 of the bottle4 ,he poured it into the  
little  official's glass4    8,your     
health1 ,monsieur l',abb10 said the     
beadle4 8,your wine is good1  but your  
arguments are worthless4 ,justice1 ,i   
repeat1 is the more  equitable the more 
useful it is1 and this usefulness       
itself1 which1 you  say1 is in its      
origin and foundation1 should make it   
appear to you as  august and sacred4    
,but you must acknowledge that the      
essence of justice  is to be just1 as   
the word implies80    8,monsieur10 said 
my good master1 8when we have called    
beauty beautiful1  truth true1 and      
justice just1 we shall have said nothing
 at all4 ,your  ,ulpian1 who spoke with 
precision1 asserted that justice is the 
firm  and perpetual desire to attribute 
to each what belongs to him1 and  that  
laws are just when they sanction this   
desire4 ,the misfortune  is1 that men   
have nothing of their own1 and thus the 

equity of law  does but guarantee to    
them the fruit of their inherited1 or   
recent1  rapine4 ,they resemble those   
childish agreements wherein after having
  won some marbles1 the winners say to  
those who wish to win them back  again1 
#8,that is not fair play4' ,the sagacity
 of judges limits itself to             
differentiating between usurpations     
which are not fair play and those  which
 were agreed upon in starting1 and this 
distinction is equally  childish and    
thin4 ,above all1 it is arbitrary4 ,the 
strapping young  woman who at this very 
moment is hanging at the end of a hempen
 rope1  had stolen1 you say1 a lace     
head-dress from ,councillor ,josse's    
wife4  ,but on what do you found your   
belief that this head-dress belonged  to
 ,councillor ,josse's wife8 ,you will   
tell me that she bought it with  her own
 money1 or found it in her              
wedding-chest1 or received it from  some
 lover--all good ways of acquiring lace4
 ,but however she may have  acquired it 

,i merely see that she had the enjoyment
 of it1 as one of  those gifts of       
fortune one finds1 or loses perchance1  
and over which  one has no natural      
right4 ,nevertheless1 ,i own that the   
lappets belonged  to her conformably to 
the rules of this game of possession1   
which  human society can play as        
children play at hop-scotch4 ,she valued
 her  lappets1 and in fact she had no   
less right to them than any other4 ,well
  and good4 ,it was justice to return   
them to her1 but without putting  such a
 high price on them that for two        
wretched lappets of point  d',alenon a  
human creature should be destroyed40    
8,monsieur10 said the little official1  
8you keep in view but one side of  the  
justice of the matter4 ,it was not      
enough to do right by ,councillor       
,josse's wife by giving her back her    
lappets4 ,it was necessary also to  do  
right by the servant in hanging her by  
the neck4 ,for justice is to  render to 
each what is due to him4 ,in which lies 

its majesty40    8,in that case10 said  
my good master1 8justice is wickeder    
even than  ,i thought4 ,this belief that
 she owes punishment to the guilty is   
ferocious in the extreme4 ,it is gothic 
barbarity40    8,monsieur10 said the    
little official1 8you misunderstand     
justice4  ,justice strikes without      
anger1 and it has no hatred for this    
girl it  sends to the gallows40    8,a  
good thing1 too10 said my good master4  
8,but ,i should prefer that  judges     
confess that they punish the guilty from
 pure necessity1 and  only to make      
impressive examples4 ,in that case they 
would merely hold  by what was actually 
necessary4 ,but if they think1 in       
punishing1 to  give the guilty his due1 
one sees to what this delicate          
discrimination  will lead them1 and     
their probity itself will make them     
inexorable2  for one knows not how to   
refuse people what is due to them4 ,this
 maxim  horrifies me1 ,monsieur4 ,it was
 laid down with the greatest severity   

by an able philosopher of the name of   
,menardus1 who pretends that to  fail to
 punish an ill-doer is to do him wrong1 
and wickedly to deprive  him of the     
right to expiate his fault4 ,he held    
that the ,athenian  magistrates had done
 excellently well by ,socrates the sage1
 and that  they worked for the          
purification of his soul when they made 
him drink  the hemlock4 ,but those are  
odious thoughts4 ,i ask that criminal   
justice  should tend less to the        
sublime4 ,the notion of pure revenge    
attached  more commonly to the          
punishment of malefactors1 although base
 and bad  in itself1 is less terrible in
 its consequences than the overweening  
virtue of ingenuous philosophers4 ,i    
knew in former days1 in ,sez1 a  jovial 
and good sort of fellow1 who took his   
children on his knee every  evening and 
told them tales4 ,he led an exemplary   
life1 went to the  sacraments1 and      
prided himself on his scrupulous honesty
 in the corn  business he had carried on

 for more than sixty years4 ,now he     
happened  to be robbed by his servant of
 some doubloons1 ducats1 rose-nobles1   
and  some fine gold coins1 which he1    
curious of such things1 kept in a case  
at the back of a drawer4 ,as soon as he 
discovered this loss he carried         
complaint to the police1 whereupon the  
maidservant was questioned1  tried1     
condemned1 and executed4 ,the good man1 
who knew his rights1  exacted that the  
skin of the thief should be given to    
him1 of which he  made a pair of        
pantaloons2 and he would often smack his
 thigh and cry1  #8,the hussy6 the      
hussy6' ,the girl had taken his gold    
pieces1 he had  taken her skin2 anyway  
he had his unphilosophical revenge in   
all the  simplicity of his rustic       
savagery4 ,he had no notion of          
fulfilling a  lofty duty when he slapped
 his hand light-heartedly on his garment
 of  human skin4 ,better is it to       
acknowledge that if one hangs a thief it
  is for prudence' sake1 and with the   

object of frightening the others  by his
 example1 and not at all on the         
philosophical plea for the sake  of     
giving each man his due4 ,for in true   
philosophy nothing belongs to  anyone if
 we except life itself4 ,to pretend that
 we owe expiation to  criminals is to   
fall into mysticism of a ferocious      
description1 worse  than naked violence 
and open anger4 ,as to the punishment of
 thieves1  it is a right which has its  
origin in force1 not in philosophy4     
,philosophy teaches us1 on the contrary1
 that all we possess is acquired  by    
violence or by cunning4 ,and you see    
also that judges approve of our  being  
deprived of our possessions if the      
ravisher be powerful enough4  ,thus it  
is permitted to the king to take our    
silver-plate to make war1  as was seen  
under ,louis the ,great1 when the       
requisition was so exacting  that they  
even took away the fringe of the        
bed-hangings1 to use the  gold woven    
with the silk4 ,this prince put his hand

 on the goods of  individuals and on the
 treasures of the ,church1 and twenty   
years ago1  performing my devotions in  
,notre-,dame-de-,liesse in ,picardy1 ,i 
heard the  complaints of an old verger1 
who deplored that the late king had     
taken  away and melted down all the     
treasures of the church1 and ravished   
even  the jewelled breast of gold1      
placed there some time before in great  
pomp by the ,princess ,palatine1 after  
she had been miraculously cured of      
cancer4 ,justice seconded the prince in 
his requisition1 and punished  severely 
those who hid away any article from the 
king's commissaries4  ,evidently she did
 not think that these things belonged so
 peculiarly to  their possessors that   
nothing could separate them40           
8,monsieur10 said the little official1  
8the commissaries acted in the  name of 
the king1 who1 possessing everything in 
the kingdom1 can  dispose of it to his  
liking1 either for war1 or for naval    
armaments1 or  in any other way40       

8,that is true10 said my good master1   
8and that is one of the rules  of the   
game4 ,the judges go about it as in the 
game of #8goose1'  following one another
 and looking at what is written in the  
rules4 ,the  sovereign's rights1 upheld 
by the ,swiss ,guard1 and by all sorts  
of  soldiers1 are written there4 ,and   
this poor girl1 who has been hanged1    
had no ,swiss ,guard to inscribe in the 
rules of the game that she had  the     
right to wear ,madame ,josse's lace4    
,that is just how it is40               
8,monsieur10 said the little official1  
8,i hope you do not liken ,louis  the   
,great1 who took his subjects' plate to 
pay his soldiers1 to this  creature who 
stole a head-dress to deck herself40    
8,monsieur10 said my good master1 8it is
 less innocent to make war than  to go  
to ,ramponneau's in a lace head-dress4  
,but justice gives to every  one what is
 his1 according to the rules of this    
game played by man1  which is the       
wickedest1 the most absurd1 and the     

least amusing of all  games4 ,and 'tis  
our misfortune that every man is obliged
 to take a hand  in it40    8,it is     
necessary10 said the little official4   
8,laws are also of use10 said my good   
master4 8,but they are not just and  can
 never be so1 for the judge assures to  
his fellow men the enjoyment  of the    
goods that belong to them1 without      
distinction between the  beneficial and 
the hurtful3 this distinction is not    
found in the rules  of the game1 but in 
the book of ,divine justice only1       
wherein no one may  read4 ,do you know  
the story of the angel and the          
anchorite8 ,an angel  came down to earth
 with the face of a man and the dress of
 a pilgrim2  making his way through     
,egypt4 ,he knocked1 at eventide1 at the
 door of  a good anchorite1 who1 taking 
him for a traveller1 gave him supper1   
and  wine from a golden cup4 ,then he   
made him lie down on his bed whilst he  
laid himself on the ground on some      
handfuls of maize-straw4 ,while he      

slept his celestial guest rose up1 took 
the cup out of which he had  drunk1 and1
 hiding it under his cloak1 fled away4  
,he acted thus1 not  meaning any        
ill-will towards the good hermit1 but1  
on the contrary1 in  the interest of the
 host who had given him such a          
charitable welcome4  ,for he knew that  
this cup would have been the undoing of 
the holy man1  who had put his heart    
into its keeping1 whereas ,god desires  
us to love  none but ,him and does not  
brook that a man1 devoted to religion1  
should  attach himself to the things of 
this world4 ,the angel who had his share
  of ,divine wisdom1 distinguished      
between goods that are good and goods   
that are not4 ,judges do not make this  
distinction4 ,who knows but what        
,madame ,josse may not lose her soul    
along with the lappets of lace her      
servant took1 and which the judges have 
given back80    8,in the meanwhile10    
said the little official1 rubbing his   
hands1 8there  is now a hussy the less  

in this world40    ,he shook the crumbs 
from his coat1 bowed to those present1  
and went off  jauntily4          ,,xxi  
,,justice 7continued7      ,my good     
master1 turning to me1 continued in this
 manner3    8,i only related the story  
of the angel and the hermit to show the 
abyss  which separates the temporal from
 the spiritual4 ,now it is only in      
things temporal that human justice is   
exercised1 and it is on a low  plane    
where high principles are not in favour4
 ,the cruellest offence  that could be  
possibly be done our ,lord ,jesus       
,christ is to place ,his  image in the  
courts of law1 where judges pardon      
,pharisees who crucified  ,him1 and     
condemn the ,magdalene whom ,he raised  
up with ,his ,divine hands4  ,what does 
,he--the ,just ,one--among these men1   
who are unable to show  themselves just1
 even should they wish to1 because their
 melancholy  duty is to consider the    
actions of their fellows1 not for what  
they  are in their essence1 but merely  

from the point of view of the social    
interest2 that is to say1 on account of 
this mass of egoism1 avarice1  error1   
and abuse which go to the making of     
cities1 and of which they  are the      
purblind guardians4 ,in weighing a fault
 they add to it the  weight of fear or  
anger it inspired in the cowardly       
public4 ,and all  this is written in    
their book in such wise that the ancient
 reading and  dead letter stand in the  
stead of intelligence1 heart1 and a     
living  soul4 ,and all these            
regulations1 some of which go back to   
the infamous  time of ,byzantium and    
,theodora1 agree on this one point only1
 that all  must be perpetuated--virtues 
and vices alike1 in a society which has 
no  desire for change4 ,a fault1 in     
itself1 is of so little account in the  
eyes of the law1 and the surrounding    
circumstances are so considerable1  that
 the selfsame act allowable in one case 
becomes unpardonable in  another1 as is 
shown in the instance of a slap in the  

face1 which1  given by one man to       
another appears simply1 in the case of a
 bourgeois1  the effect of an irascible 
temper1 but1 for a soldier1 becomes a   
crime  punishable by death4 ,this       
barbarity1 which still exists1 will be  
our  shame in centuries to come4 ,we    
reck little of it1 but one day they will
  ask each other what sort of savages we
 can have been to send a man  to his    
death for a generous warmth of blood    
springing from his heart  when he is    
bound by law to suffer the perils of war
 and the miseries  of barrack-life4 ,and
 it is clear that1 if there were such a 
thing as  justice1 we should not have   
two codes1 one military1 the other      
civil4  ,this military justice1 whose   
results one sees daily1 is atrociously  
cruel2 and men1 if they ever establish  
law and order1 will never  believe that 
formerly1 in times of peace1            
courts-martial avenged the  majesty of  
corporals and sergeants by the death of 
a man4 ,they will not  believe that     

unfortunate beings were ordered to be   
shot for the crime  of desertion before 
the enemy1 in an expedition where the   
government of  ,france itself did not   
recognise a state of war4 ,what is to be
 wondered  at is that such atrocities   
are committed by ,christian people who  
do  honour to ,st4 ,sebastian1 a        
mutinous soldier2 and to those martyrs  
of the ,theban legion1 whose sole glory 
is having1 in a former age1  incurred   
the severity of courts-martial in       
refusing to fight against  the          
,bagaudes4 ,but enough of this1 let us  
talk no more of the justice of  these   
gentlemen of the sword1 who will perish 
one day according to the  prophecy of   
the ,son of ,god2 let us return to our  
civil magistrates4    8,judges search   
not the reins1 neither do they read the 
heart of man1  and their justest justice
 is rude and superficial4 ,all the more 
then  must they cling to this coarse    
skin of the law on which the codes  are 
inscribed4 ,they are men--that is to say

 weak and corruptible1  gentle to the   
strong1 and pitiless to the weak4 ,they 
sanction1  by their judgments1 the      
cruellest social iniquities1 and it is  
difficult to distinguish1 in this       
partiality1 what comes from their       
personal baseness from what is imposed  
on them by their duty to their          
profession2 which duty is1 in reality1  
to uphold the ,state in what is  evil as
 well as in what is good2 to see that   
public morality remains  unaltered1     
whether excellent or detestable2 and to 
assure the rights  of citizens along    
with the tyrannical desires of the      
prince1 to say  nothing of the          
ridiculous and cruel superstitions which
 find an  inviolable shelter under the  
lilies of ,france4    8,the most austere
 magistrate may be brought1 by his      
integrity itself1  to decrees as        
revolting1 and perhaps even more        
inhuman1 than those of  one who fails in
 his duty1 and ,i do not know myself1   
which of the two  ,i should dread the   

most1 the judge who has made a soul for 
himself out  of the text of the law1 or 
he who makes use of a remnant of        
sentiment  to twist the text4 ,the one  
would sacrifice me to his interests or  
his  passions1 the other would immolate 
me coldly for the written word4         
8,again1 we must notice that the        
magistrate is the defender1 through  his
 office1 not of new prejudices to which 
we are all more or less  submissive1 but
 of old prejudices which are preserved  
in our laws while  they are fading from 
our minds and our manners4 ,and there is
 no one of  a thinking and liberal turn 
of mind who does not feel how much of   
the  barbarous there is in law1 whereas 
the judge has not the right to feel     
this4    8,but ,i am speaking as if     
laws1 clumsy and barbarous as they are1 
were  at least clear and precise4 ,but  
much is necessary for them to become    
so4 ,the #8gramarye' of a wizard would  
be easy to understand compared  with    
many of the articles in our codes and   

case-law4 ,this difficulty of           
interpretation has greatly contributed  
to the establishing of divers  degrees  
of jurisdiction1 and we admit that what 
the manorial court  has not understood  
the ,parliamentary gentlemen will make  
clear4 ,it is  expecting a great deal   
from five men in red robes and square   
caps1  who even after having recited the
 ,veni ,creator are still subject to    
error2 and it is better to acknowledge  
that the highest court judges  without  
further appeal1 for the sole reason1    
that the others were  exhausted before  
recourse was had to this4 ,the prince is
 himself of  this opinion1 for he has a 
judgment-seat#af above the ,parliament40
      ,,footnotes3    #af ,the          
institution styled lit de justice1 bed  
of justice4          ,,xxii    ,,justice
 7concluded7      ,my good master looked
 sorrowfully at the flowing water1 an   
image of  this life1 where all things   
pass and nothing changes4 ,he pondered  
for  some time and then continued in a  

low voice3    8,that point is of itself1
 my son1 an insurmountable perplexity to
  me1 that it is needful that justice   
should come from judges4 ,it is  clear  
that they are interested in finding     
guilty the man whom they at  first      
suspected4 ,esprit de corps1 so strong  
among them1 pushes them  to it1 and so  
you may see throughout their procedure  
how they brush  aside the defence as    
importunate1 and only allow it a hearing
 when  the prosecution has donned its   
arms and composed its countenance1 and  
has1 in fact1 contrived to assume the   
air of the ,goddess of ,wisdom4 ,by     
professional feeling they are inclined  
to see guilt in every accused  person1  
and their zeal appears so alarming to   
certain ,european nations  that1 in     
important cases1 they give them the help
 of twelve men1 drawn  by lot4 ,whereby1
 it appears1 blind chance is a better   
guarantee of the  life and liberty of   
the accused than can be the enlightened 
conscience  of a judge4 ,it is true1    

however1 that these bourgeois           
magistrates1  drawn by lot1 are kept out
 of the affair1 of which they see but   
the  outside pomp and show4 ,and it is  
also true that1 ignorant of the  law1   
they are not called upon to apply it1   
but to decide merely1 in  one word1     
whether it is a case for applying it4   
,it is said that this  kind of assize   
results sometimes in absurdities1 but   
that the nations  who have instituted it
 are attached to it as a kind of very   
precious  safeguard4 ,i willingly       
believe that4 ,and ,i understand their  
accepting  decrees given in such        
fashion1 which may be inept or cruel1   
but at  least whose absurdity and       
barbarity cannot be imputed to one      
person1  so to speak4 ,iniquity seems   
bearable when it is incoherent enough to
  appear involuntary4    8,the little   
official of a moment ago1 who had such a
 feeling for  justice1 suspected me of  
taking the side of thieves and          
assassins4 ,on  the contrary1 ,i        

disapprove so strongly of theft and     
murder that ,i  cannot endure even the  
authorised copy of them by the law1 and 
it is  painful to me to observe that    
judges have found no better way to      
punish  rogues and homicides than by    
imitating them2 for in truth1           
,tournebroche  my son1 what is fine or  
execution1 save theft and murder1       
perpetrated  with majestic              
punctiliousness8 ,and do you not see    
that1 notwithstanding  all its          
splendour1 our justice only attains to  
the shameful revenge  of evil for evil1 
misery for misery2 and to the doubling  
of crimes  and sins for the sake of     
equilibrium and symmetry8 ,it is        
possible1  in the carrying out of this  
duty1 to exercise a certain probity and 
disinterestedness4 ,one may show oneself
 a l',hospital as well as a  ,jeffreys1 
and for my part ,i know a magistrate who
 is an honest fellow  enough4 ,but to   
return to the principle of the thing1 ,i
 have wanted to  show the true character

 of an institution which the pride of   
the judges  and the terror of the       
people1 vying with each other1 have     
clothed in  borrowed majesty4 ,i have   
wanted to show the humble origin of     
these  codes they wish to make august1  
and which are in reality but an odd     
heap of expedients4    8,alas6 laws     
emanate from man2 a poor and miserable  
origin4 ,they are  mostly born of       
occasion4 ,ignorance1 superstition1 the 
pride of princes1  the interests of the 
legislator1 caprice1 fantasy--these are 
the sources  of the great body of the   
law1 which becomes worthy of veneration 
when it is no longer intelligible4 ,this
 obscurity that envelops it1  thickened 
by the commentators1 gives it the       
majesty of the oracles of  old4 ,i hear 
on all sides1 and ,i read in every      
paper1 that nowadays we  make laws      
fitting for the circumstance and the    
occasion4 ,that is the  view of the     
short-sighted1 who fail to see that it  
is but following an  immemorial custom1 

and that in all times laws have resulted
 from some  chance thing4 ,we complain  
also of the obscurity and contradiction 
into  which legislators continually     
fall4 ,and we fail to note that their   
predecessors were equally dense and     
confused4    8,in actual fact1          
,tournebroche my son1 laws are good or  
bad less  by their nature than in the   
way we use them1 and such and such a    
provision1 extremely wicked though it   
be1 does no harm if the judge  does not 
put it into force4 ,custom is stronger  
than law4 ,refinement of  manners1      
gentleness of mind1 are the only        
remedies one can reasonably  bring for  
legal barbarity4 ,for to correct laws by
 laws is to take  a lengthy and         
uncertain road4 ,centuries alone undo   
the work of  centuries4 ,there is little
 hope that a ,french ,numa will meet one
 day  in the forest of ,compigne1 or    
among the rocks of ,fontainebleau1 with 
another nymph ,egeria1 who shall dictate
 wise laws to him40    ,he gazed for    

long on the hills which showed blue on  
the horizon4 ,his  air was grave and    
sad4 ,then1 laying his hand gently on my
 shoulder1 he  spoke to me in accents so
 profound that ,i was touched to the    
depths of  my soul4 ,he said3           
8,tournebroche1 my son1 you see me1 all 
at once1 wavering and  embarrassed1     
stammering and stupid1 at the mere      
notion of correcting  what ,i find      
detestable4 ,do not think this timidity 
of mind4 ,nothing may  give pause to the
 audacity of my thought4 ,but note well1
 my son1 what  ,i now say to you4       
,truths1 detected by the intelligence1  
will for ever  remain sterile4 ,the     
heart alone can fertilise its dreams4   
,it pours the  water of life on all it  
loves4 ,seeds of good are sown in the   
world by  the feelings4 ,reason has no  
such virtue4 ,and ,i confess that up to 
now  ,i have been too reasonable in my  
criticism of laws and manners4 ,and so  
this judgment will fall without fruit1  
and wither as a tree bitten by  ,april  

frosts4 ,to help mankind one must throw 
aside all reason as an  encumbrance1 and
 rise on the wings of enthusiasm4 ,so   
long as we reason  we shall never soar40
          ,transcriber's ,note3         
,inconsistent hyphenation and spelling  
in the original document have    been   
preserved4 ,obvious typographical errors
 have been corrected4      ,italic text 
is denoted by underscores4