,,reflections ,,on ,,the ,,death ,,of ,a ,,porcupine ,illustration3 colophon ,,reflections ,,on ,,the ,,death ,,of ,a ,,porcupine ,,and ,,other ,,essays ,by ,d4 ,h4 ,,lawrence ,illustration3 colophon ,,the ,,centaur ,,press ,,philadelphia #aibe ,,copyright1 #aibe ,,the ,,centaur ,,press ,,contents ,,pages ,,the ,,crown #a ,,the ,,novel #ajc ,,him ,,with ,,his ,,tail ,,in ,,his ,,mouth #abg ,,blessed ,,are ,,the ,,powerful #ade 4444 ,,love ,,was ,,once ,a ,,little ,,boy #afa ,,reflections ,,on ,,the ,,death ,,of ,a ,,porcupine #aic ,,aristocracy #bbc ,,the ,,crown ,,note ,,to ,,the ,,crown ,the ,crown was written in #aiae1 when the war was already twelve months old1 and had gone pretty deep4 ,john ,middleton ,murry said to me3 8,let us do something40 ,the doing consisted in starting a tiny monthly paper1 which ,murry called ,the ,signature1 and in having weekly meetings somewhere in ,london--,i have now no idea where it was--up a narrow stair-case over a green-grocer's shop3 or a cobbler's shop4 ,the only thing that made any impression on me was the room over the shop1 in some old ,dickensey part of ,london1 and the old man downstairs4 ,we scrubbed the room and colour-washed the walls and got a long table and some windsor chairs from the ,caledonian market4 ,and we used to make a good warm fire3 it was dark autumn1 in that unknown bit of ,london4 ,then on ,thursday nights we had meetings of about a dozen people4 ,we talked1 but there was absolutely nothing in it4 ,and the meetings didn't last two months4 ,the ,signature was printed by some little ,jewish printer away in the east end4 ,we sold it by subscription1 half-a-crown for six copies4 ,i don't know how many subscriptions there were3 perhaps fifty4 ,the helpless little brown magazine appeared three times1 then we dropped it4 ,the last three of the ,crown essays were never printed4 ,to me the venture meant nothing real3 a little escapade4 ,i can t believe in 8doing things0 like that4 ,in a great issue like the war1 there was nothing to be 8done01 in ,murry's sense4 ,there is still nothing to be 8done04 ,probably not for many1 many years will men start to 8do0 something4 ,and even then1 only after they have changed gradually1 and deeply4 ,i knew then1 and ,i know now1 it is no use trying to do anything--,i speak only for myself--publicly4 ,it is no use trying merely to modify present forms4 ,the whole great form of our era will have to go4 ,and nothing will really send it down but the new shoots of life springing up and slowly bursting the foundations4 ,and one can do nothing1 but fight tooth and nail to defend the new shoots of life from being crushed out1 and let them grow4 ,we can't make life4 ,we can but fight for the life that grows in us4 ,so that1 personally1 little magazines mean nothing to me3 nor groups1 nor parties of people4 ,i have no hankering after quick response1 nor the effusive1 semi-intimate back-chat of literary communion4 ,so it was ridiculous to offer ,the ,crown in a little six-penny pamphlet4 ,i always felt ashamed1 at the thought of the few who sent their half-crowns4 ,happily they were few2 and they could read ,murry4 ,if one publishes in the ordinary way1 people are not asked for their sixpences4 ,i alter ,the ,crown only a very little4 ,it says what ,i still believe4 ,but it's no use for a five minutes' lunch4 ,,the ,,crown ,i ,,the ,,lion ,,and ,,the ,,unicorn ,,were ,,fighting ,,for ,,the ,,crown ,what is it then1 that they want1 that they are forever rampant and unsatisfied1 the king of beasts and the defender of virgins8 ,what is this ,crown that hovers between them1 unattainable8 ,does either of them ever hope to get it8 ,but think of the king of beasts lying serene with the crown on his head6 ,instantly the unicorn prances from every heart4 ,and at the thought of the lord of chastity with the crown ledged above his golden horn1 lying in virgin lustre of sanctity1 the lion springs out of his lair in every soul1 roaring after his prey4 ,it is a strange and painful position1 the king of beasts and the beast of purity1 rampant for ever on either side of the crown4 ,is it to be so for ever8 ,who says lion8--who says unicorn8 ,a lion1 a lion66 ,hi1 a unicorn6 ,now they are at it1 they have forgotten all about the crown4 ,it is a greater thing to have an enemy than to have an object4 ,the lion and the unicorn were fighting1 it is no question any more of the crown4 ,we know this1 because when the lion beat the unicorn1 he did not take the crown and put it on his head1 and say1 8,now ,mr4 ,purity1 ,i'm king04 ,he drove the unicorn out of town1 expelled him1 obliterated him1 expurgated him from the memory1 exiled him from the kingdom4 ,instantly the town was all lion1 there was no unicorn at all1 no scent nor flavour of unicorn4 8,unicorn60 they said in the city4 8,that is a mythological beast that never existed40 ,there was no question any more of rivalry4 ,the unicorn was erased from the annals of fact4 ,why did the lion fight the unicorn8 ,why did the unicorn fight the lion8 ,why must the one obliterate the other8 ,was it the raison d'tre of each of them1 to obliterate the other8 ,but think1 if the lion really destroyed1 killed the unicorn3 not merely drove him out of town1 but annihilated him6 ,would not the lion at once expire1 as if he had created a vacuum around himself8 ,is not the unicorn necessary to the very existence of the lion1 is not each opposite kept in stable equilibrium by the opposition of the other4 ,this is a terrible position3 to have for a raison d'tre a purpose which1 if once fulfilled1 would of necessity entail the cessation from existence of both opponents4 ,they would both cease to be1 if either of them really won in the fight which is their sole reason for existing4 ,this is a troublesome thought4 ,it makes us at once examine our own hearts4 ,what do we find there8--a want1 a need1 a crying out1 a divine discontent4 ,is it the lion1 is it the unicorn8--one1 or both8 ,but certainly there is this crying aloud1 this infant crying in the night1 born into a blind want4 ,what do we find at the core of our hearts8--a want1 a void1 a hollow want4 ,it is the lion that must needs fight the unicorn1 the unicorn that must needs fight the lion4 ,supposing the lion refuses the obligation of his being1 and says1 8,i won't fight1 ,i'll just lie down4 ,i'll be a lion couchant40 ,what then is the lion8 ,a void1 a hollow ache1 a want4 8,what am ,i80 says the lion1 as he lies with his head between his paws1 or walks by the river feeding on raspberries1 peacefully1 like a unicorn4 8,i am a hollow void1 my roaring is the resonance of a hollow drum1 my strength is the power of the vacuum1 drawing all things within itself40 ,then he groans with horrible self-consciousness4 ,after all1 there is nothing for it but to set upon the unicorn1 and so forget1 forget1 obtain the precious self-oblivion4 ,thus are we1 then1 rounded upon a void1 a hollow want1 like the lion4 ,and this want makes us draw all things into ourselves1 to fill up the void4 ,but it is a bottomless pit1 this void4 ,if ever it were filled1 there would be a great cessation from being1 of the whole universe4 ,thus we portray ourselves in the field of the royal arms4 ,the whole history is the fight1 the whole raison d'tre4 ,for the whole field is occupied by the lion and the unicorn4 ,these alone are the living occupants of the immortal and mortal field4 ,we have forgotten the ,crown1 which is the keystone of the fight4 ,we are like the lion and the unicorn1 we go on fighting underneath the ,crown1 entirely oblivious of its supremacy4 ,it is modest common sense for us to acknowledge1 all of us1 nowadays1 that we are built round a void and hollow want which1 if satisfied1 would imply our collapse1 our utter ceasing to be4 ,therefore we regard our craving with complacence1 we feel the great aching of the ,want1 and we say1 with conviction1 8,i know ,i exist1 ,i know ,i am ,i1 because ,i feel the divine discontent which is personal to me1 and eternal1 and present always in me40 ,that is because we are incomplete1 we stand upon one side of the shield1 or on the other4 ,on the one side we are in darkness1 our eyes gleam phosphorescent like cat's eyes4 ,and with these phosphorescent gleaming eyes we look across at the opposite pure beast1 and we say1 8,yes1 ,i am a lion1 my raison d'tre is to devour that unicorn1 ,i am moulded upon an eternal void1 a ,want40 ,gleaming bright1 we see ourselves reflected upon the surface of the darkness and we say3 8,i am the pure unicorn1 it is for me to oppose and resist for ever that avid lion4 ,if he ceased to exist1 ,i should be supreme and unique and perfect4 ,therefore ,i will destroy him40 ,but the lion will not be destroyed4 ,if he were1 if he were swallowed into the belly of the unicorn1 the unicorn would fly asunder into chaos4 ,this is like being a creature who walks by night1 who says3 8,men see by darkness1 and in the darkness they have their being40 ,or like a creature that walks by day1 and says3 8,men live by the light40 ,we are enveloped in the darkness1 like the lion3 or like the unicorn1 enveloped in the light4 ,for the womb is full of darkness1 and also flooded with the strange white light of eternity4 ,and we1 the peoples of the world1 we are enclosed within the womb of our era1 we are there begotten and conceived1 but not brought forth4 ,a myriad1 myriad people1 we roam in the belly of our era1 seeking1 seeking1 wanting4 ,and we seek and want deliverance4 ,but we say we want to overcome the lion that shares with us this universal womb1 the walls of which are shut1 and have no window to inform us that we are in prison4 ,we roam within the vast walls of the womb1 unnourished now1 because the time of our deliverance is ripe1 even overpast1 and the body of our era is lean and withered because of us1 withered and inflexible4 ,we roam unnourished1 moulded each of us around a core of want1 a void4 ,we stand in the darkness of the womb and we say3 8,behold1 there is the light1 the white light of eternity1 which we want40 ,and we make war upon the lion of darkness1 annihilate him1 so that we may be free in the eternal light4 ,or else1 suddenly1 we admit ourselves the lion1 and we rush rampant on the unicorn of chastity4 ,we stand in the light of ,virginity1 in the wholeness of our unbroached immortality1 and we say3 8,lo the darkness surrounds us1 to envelop us4 ,let us resist the powers of darkness40 ,then like the bright and virgin unicorn we make war upon the ravening lion4 ,or we cry3 8,ours is the strength and glory of the ,creator1 who precedes ,creation1 and all is unto us40 ,so we open a ravening mouth1 to swallow back all time has brought forth4 ,and there is no rest1 no cessation from the conflict4 ,for we are two opposites which exist by virtue of our inter-opposition4 ,remove the opposition and there is collapse1 a sudden crumbling into universal nothingness4 ,the darkness1 this has nourished us4 ,the darkness1 this is a vast infinite1 an origin1 a ,source4 ,the ,beginning1 this is the great sphere of darkness1 the womb wherein the universe is begotten4 ,but this universal1 infinite darkness conceives of its own opposite4 ,if there is universal1 infinite darkness1 then there is universal1 infinite light1 for there cannot exist a specific infinite save by virtue of the opposite and equivalent specific infinite4 ,so that if there be universal1 infinite darkness in the beginning1 there must be universal1 infinite light in the end4 ,and these are two relative halves4 ,into the womb of the primary darkness enters the ray of ultimate light1 and time is begotten1 conceived1 there is the beginning of the end4 ,we are the beginning of the end4 ,and there1 within the womb1 we ripen upon the beginning1 till we become aware of the end4 ,we are fruit1 we are an integral part of the tree4 ,till the time comes for us to fall1 and we hang in suspense1 realising that we are an integral part of the vast beyond1 which stretches under us and grasps us even before we drop into it4 ,we are the beginning1 which has conceived us within its womb of darkness1 and nourished us to the fulness of our growth4 ,this is ours that we adhere to4 ,this is our ,god1 ,jehovah1 ,zeus1 the ,father of ,heaven1 this that has conceived and created us1 in the beginning1 and brought us the fulness of our strength4 ,and when we have come to the fulness of our strength1 like lions which have been fed till they are full grown1 then the strange necessity comes upon us1 we must travel away1 roam like falling fruit1 fall from the initial darkness of the tree1 of the cave which has reared us1 into the eternal light of germination and begetting1 the eternal light1 shedding our darkness like the fruit that rots on the ground4 ,we travel across between the two great opposites of the ,beginning and the ,end1 the eternal night and everlasting day1 and the transit is a stride taken1 the night gives us up for the day to receive us4 ,and what are we between the two8 ,but before the transit is accomplished1 whilst we are yet like fruit heavy and ripe on the trees1 we realise the delirious freedom of the end1 the goal1 and we cry3 8,behold1 ,i1 who am here within the darkness1 ,i am the light6 ,i am the light1 ,i am ,unicorn1 the beam of chastity4 ,behold1 the beam of ,virginity gleams within my loins1 in this circumambient darkness4 ,behold1 ,i am not the ,beginning1 ,i am the ,end4 ,the ,end is universal light1 the achieving again of infinite unblemished being1 the infinite oneness of the ,light1 the escape from the infinite not-being of the darkness40 ,all the time1 these cries take place within the womb1 these are the myriad unborn uttering themselves as they come towards maturity1 cry after cry as the darkness develops itself over the sea of ,light1 and flesh is born1 and limbs2 cry after cry as the light develops within the darkness1 and mind is born1 and the consciousness of that which is outside my own flesh and limbs1 and the desire for everlasting life grows more insistent4 ,these are the cries of the two adversaries1 the two opposites4 ,first of all the flesh develops in splendour and glory out of the prolific darkness1 begotten by the light it develops to a great triumph1 till it dances naked in glory of itself1 before the ,ark1 naked in glory of itself in the procession of heroes travelling towards the wise goddess1 the white light1 the ,mind1 the light which the vessel of living darkness has caught and captured within itself1 and holds in triumph4 ,the flesh of darkness triumphant circles round the treasure of light which it has enveloped1 which it calls ,mind1 and this is the ecstasy1 the dance before the ,ark1 the ,bacchic delirium4 ,and then1 within the womb1 the light grows stronger and finds voice1 it cries out3 8,behold1 ,i am free1 ,i am not enveloped within this darkness4 ,behold1 ,i am the everlasting light1 the ,eternity that stretches forward for ever1 utterly the opposite of that darkness which departs backward1 backward for ever4 ,come over to me1 to the light1 to the light that streams into the glorious eternity4 ,for now the darkness is revoked for ever40 ,it is the voice of the unicorn crying in the wilderness1 it is the ,son of ,man4 ,and behold1 in the fight1 the unicorn beats the lion1 and drives him out of town4 ,but all of this is within the ,womb4 ,the darkness builds up the warm shadow of the flesh in splendour and triumph1 enclosing the light4 ,this is the zenith of ,david and ,solomon1 and of ,assyria and ,egypt4 ,then the light1 wrestling within the vessel1 throws up a white gleam of universal love1 which is ,st4 ,francis of ,assisi1 and ,shelley4 ,then each has reached its maximum of self-assertion4 ,the flesh is made perfect within the womb1 the spirit is at last made perfect also1 within the womb4 ,they are equally perfect1 equally supreme1 the one adhering to the infinite darkness of the beginning1 the other adhering to the infinite light of the end4 ,yet1 within the womb1 they are eternally opposite4 ,darkness stands over against light1 light stands over against dark4 ,the lion is reared against the unicorn1 the unicorn is reared against the lion4 ,one says1 8,behold1 the darkness which gave us birth is eternal and infinite3 this we belong to40 ,the other says1 8,we are of the ,light1 which is everlasting and infinite40 ,and there is no reconciliation1 save in negation4 ,from the present1 the stream flows in opposite directions1 back to the past1 on to the future4 ,there are two goals1 at opposite ends of time4 ,there is the vast original dark out of which ,creation issued1 there is the ,eternal light into which all mortality passes4 ,and both are equally infinite1 both are equally the goal1 and both equally the beginning4 ,and we1 fully equipped in flesh and spirit1 fully built up of darkness1 perfectly composed out of light1 what are we but light and shadow lying together in opposition1 or lion and unicorn fighting1 the one to vanquish the other4 ,this is our eternal life1 in these two eternities which nullify each other4 ,and we1 between them both1 what are we but nullity8 ,and this is because we see in part1 always in part4 ,we are enclosed within the womb1 we are the seed from the loins of the eternal light1 or we are the darkness which is enveloped by the body of the past1 by our era4 ,unless the sun were enveloped in the body of darkness1 would a cast shadow run with me as ,i walk8 ,unless the night lay within the embrace of light1 would the fish gleam phosphorescent in the sea1 would the light break out of the black coals of the hearth1 would the electricity gleam out of itself1 suddenly declaring an opposite being8 ,love and power1 light and darkness1 these are the temporary conquest of the one infinite by the other4 ,in love1 the ,christian love1 the ,end asserts itself supreme3 in power1 in strength like the lion's the ,beginning re-establishes itself unique4 ,but when the opposition is complete on either side1 then there is perfection4 ,it is the perfect opposition of dark and light that brindles the tiger with gold flame and dark flame4 ,it is the surcharge of darkness that opens the ravening mouth of the tiger1 and drives his eyes to points of phosphorescence4 ,it is the perfect balance of light and darkness that flickers in the stepping of a deer4 ,but it is the conquered darkness that flares and palpitates in her eyes4 ,there are the two eternities fighting the fight of ,creation1 the light projecting itself into the darkness1 the darkness enveloping herself within the embrace of light4 ,and then there is the consummation of each in the other1 the consummation of light in darkness and darkness in light1 which is absolute3 our bodies cast up like foam of two meeting waves1 but foam which is absolute1 complete1 beyond the limitation of either infinity1 consummate over both eternities4 ,the direct opposites of the ,beginning and the ,end1 by their very directness1 imply their own supreme relation4 ,and this supreme relation is made absolute in the clash and the foam of the meeting waves4 ,and the clash and the foam are the ,crown1 the ,absolute4 ,the lion and the unicorn are not fighting for the ,crown4 ,they are fighting beneath it4 ,and the ,crown is upon their fight4 ,if they made friends and lay down side by side1 the ,crown would fall on them both and kill them4 ,if the lion really beat the unicorn1 then the ,crown pressing on the head of the king of beasts alone would destroy him4 ,which it has done and is doing4 ,as it is destroying the unicorn who has achieved supremacy in another field4 ,so that now1 in ,europe1 both the lion and the unicorn are gone mad1 each with a crown tumbled on his bound-in head4 ,and without rhyme or reason they tear themselves and each other1 and the fight is no fight1 it is a frenzy of blind things dashing themselves and each other to pieces4 ,now the unicorn of virtue and virgin spontaneity has got the ,crown slipped over the eyes1 like a circle of utter light1 and has gone mad with the extremity of light3 whilst the lion of power and splendour1 its own ,crown of supreme night settled down upon it1 roars in an agony of imprisoned darkness4 ,now within the withered body of our era1 within the husk of the past1 the seed of light has come to supreme self-consciousness and has gone mad with the flare of eternal light in its eyes1 whilst the fruit of darkness1 unable to fall from the tree1 has turned round towards the tree and is become mad1 clinging faster upon the utter night whence it should have dropped away long ago4 ,for the stiffened1 exhausted1 inflexible loins of our era are too dry to give us forth in labour1 the tree is withered1 we are pent in1 fastened1 and now have turned round1 some to the source of darkness1 some to the source of light1 and gone mad1 purely given up to frenzy4 ,for the dark has travelled to the light1 and the light towards the dark4 ,but when they reached the bound1 neither could leap forth4 ,the fruit could not fall from the tree1 the lion just full grown could not get out of the cave1 the unicorn could not enter the illimitable forest1 the lily could not leap out of the darkness of her bulb straight into the sun4 ,what then8 ,the road was stopped4 ,whither then8 ,backward1 back to the known eternity4 ,there was a great1 horrible huddle backwards4 ,the process of birth had been arrested1 the inflexible1 withered loins of the mother-era were too old and set1 the past was taut around us all4 ,then began chaos1 the going asunder1 the beginning of nothingness4 ,then we leaped back1 by reflex from the bound and limit1 back upon ourselves into madness4 ,there is a dark beyond the darkness of the womb1 there is a light beyond the light of knowledge4 ,there is the darkness of all the heavens for the seed of man to invest1 and the light of all the heavens for the womb to receive4 ,but we don't know it4 ,how can the unborn within the womb know of the heavens outside2 how can they8 ,how can they know of the tides beyond8 ,on the one hand murmurs the utter1 infinite sea of darkness1 full of unconceived creation3 on the other the infinite light stirs with eternal procreation4 ,they are two seas which eternally attract and oppose each other1 two tides which eternally advance to repel each other1 which foam upon one another1 as the ocean foams on the land1 and the land rushes down into the sea4 ,and we1 in the great movement1 are begotten1 conceived and brought forth1 like the waves which meet and clash and burst up into foam1 sending the foam like light1 like shadow1 into the zenith of the absolute1 beyond the grasp of either eternity4 ,we are the foam and the foreshore1 that which1 between the oceans1 is not1 but that which supersedes the oceans in utter reality1 and gleams in absolute ,eternity4 ,the ,beginning is-not1 nor the eternity which lies behind us1 save in part4 ,partial also is the eternity which lies in front4 ,but that which is not partial1 but whole1 that which is not relative1 but absolute1 is the clash of the two into one1 the foam of being thrown up into consummation4 ,it is the music which comes when the cymbals clash one upon the other3 this is absolute and timeless4 ,the cymbals swing back in one or the other direction of time1 towards one or the other relative eternity4 ,but absolute1 timeless1 beyond time or eternity1 beyond space or infinity1 is the music that was the consummation of the two cymbals in opposition4 ,it is that which comes when night clashes on day1 the rainbow1 the yellow and rose and blue and purple of dawn and sunset1 which leaps out of the breaking of light upon darkness1 of darkness upon light1 absolute beyond day or night2 the rainbow1 the iridescence which is darkness at once and light1 the two-in-one2 the crown that binds them both4 ,it is the lovely body of foam that walks for ever between the two seas1 perfect and consummate1 the revealed consummation1 the oneness that has taken being out of the two4 ,we say the foam is evanescent1 the wind passes over it and it is gone--he who would save his life must lose it4 ,but if indeed the foam were-not1 if the two seas fell apart1 if the sea fell departed from the land1 and the land from the sea1 if the two halves1 day and night1 were ripped asunder1 without attraction or opposition1 what then8 ,then there would be between them nothingness1 utter nothingness4 ,which is meaningless4 ,so that the foam and the iridescence1 the music that comes from the cymbals1 all formed things that come from perfect union in opposition1 all beauty and all truth and being1 all perfection1 these are the be-all and the end-all1 absolute1 timeless1 beyond time or eternity1 beyond the ,limit or the ,infinite4 ,this lovely body of foam1 this iris between the two floods1 this music between the cymbals1 this truth between the surge of facts1 this supreme reason between conflicting desires1 this holy spirit between the opposite divinities1 this is the ,absolute made visible between the two ,infinities1 the ,timelessness into which are assumed the two ,eternities4 ,it is wrong to try to make the lion lie down with the lamb4 ,this is the supreme sin1 the unforgivable blasphemy of which ,christ spoke4 ,this is the creating of nothingness1 the bringing about1 or the striving to bring about the nihil which is pure meaninglessness4 ,the great darkness of the lion must gather into itself the little1 feeble darkness of the lamb4 ,the great light of the lamb must absorb elsewhere1 in the whole world1 the small1 weak light of the lion4 ,the lamb indeed will inherit the world1 rather than the lion4 ,it is the triumph of the meek1 but the meek1 like the merciless1 shall perish in their own triumph4 ,anything that triumphs1 perishes4 ,the consummation comes from perfect relatedness4 ,to this a man may win4 ,but he who triumphs1 perishes4 ,the crown is upon the perfect balance of the fight1 it is not the fruit of either victory4 ,the crown is not prize of either combatant4 ,it is the raison d'tre of both4 ,it is the absolute within the fight4 ,and those alone are evil1 who say1 8,the lion shall lie down with the lamb1 the eagle shall mate with the dove1 the lion shall munch in the stable of the unicorn40 ,for they blaspheme against the raison d'tre of all life1 they try to destroy the essential1 intrinsic nature of ,god4 ,but it is the fight of opposites which is holy4 ,the fight of like things is evil4 ,for if a thing turn round upon itself in blind frenzy of destruction1 this is to say3 8,the lamb shall roar like the lion1 the dove strike down her prey like the eagle1 and the unicorn shall devour the innocent virgin in her path04 ,which is precisely the equivalent blasphemy to the blasphemy of universal meekness1 or peace4 ,and this1 this last1 is our blasphemy of the war4 ,we would have the lamb roar like the lion1 all doves turn into eagles4 ,,ii ,,the ,,lion ,,beat ,,the ,,unicorn ,,and ,,drove ,,him ,,out ,,of ,,town ,life is a travelling to the edge of knowledge1 then a leap taken4 ,we cannot know beforehand4 ,we are driven from behind1 always as over the edge of the precipice4 ,it is a leap taken1 into the beyond1 as a lark leaps into the sky1 a fragment of earth which travels to be fused out1 sublimated1 in the shining of the heavens4 ,but it is not death4 ,death is neither here nor there4 ,death is a temporal1 relative fact4 ,in the absolute1 it means nothing4 ,the lark falls from the sky and goes running back to her nest4 ,this is the ebb of the wave4 ,the wave of earth flung up in spray1 a lark1 a cloud of larks1 against the white wave of the sun4 ,the spray of earth and the foam of heaven are one1 consummated1 a rainbow mid-way1 a song4 ,the larks return to earth1 the rays go back to heaven4 ,but these are only the shuttles that weave the iris1 the song1 mid-way1 in absoluteness1 timelessness4 ,out of the dark1 original flame issues a tiny green flicker1 a weed coming alive4 ,on the edge of the bright1 ultimate1 spiritual flame of the heavens is revealed a fragment of iris1 a touch of green1 a weed coming into being4 ,the two flames surge and intermingle1 casting up a crest of leaves and stems1 their battlefield1 their meeting-ground1 their marriage bed1 the embrace becomes closer1 more unthinkably vivid1 it leaps to climax1 the battle grows fiercer1 fiercer1 intolerably1 till there is the swoon1 the climax1 the consummation1 the little yellow disk gleams absolute between heaven and earth1 radiant of both eternities1 framed in the two infinities4 ,which is a weed1 a sow-thistle bursting into blossom4 ,and we1 the foreshore in whom the waves of dark and light are unequally seething1 we can see this perfection1 this absolute1 as time opens to disclose it for a moment1 like the ,dove that hovered incandescent from heaven1 before it is closed again in utter timelessness4 8,but the wind passeth over it and is gone40 ,the wind passes over it and we are gone4 ,it is time which blows in like a wind1 closing up the clouds again upon the perfect gleam4 ,it is the wind of time1 out of either eternity1 a wind which has a source and an issue1 which swirls past the light of this absolute1 like waves past a lighted buoy4 ,for the light is not temporal nor eternal1 but absolute4 ,and we1 who are temporal and eternal1 at moments only we cease from our temporality4 ,in these1 our moments1 we see the sow-thistle gleaming1 light within darkness1 darkness within light1 consummated1 we are with the song and the iris4 ,and then it is we1 not the iris1 not the song1 who are blown away4 ,we are blown for a moment against the yellow light of the window1 the flower1 then on again into the dark turmoil4 ,we have made a mistake4 ,we are like travellers travelling in a train1 who watch the country pass by and pass away2 all of us who watch the sun setting1 sliding down into extinction1 we are mistaken4 ,it is not the country which passes by and fades1 it is not the sun which sinks to oblivion4 ,neither is it the flower that withers1 nor the song that dies out4 ,it is we who are carried past in the seethe of mortality4 ,the flower is timeless and beyond condition4 ,it is we who are swept on in the condition of time4 ,so we shall be swept as long as time lasts4 ,death is part of the story4 ,but we have being also in timelessness1 we shall become again absolute1 as we have been absolute1 as we are absolute4 ,we know that we are purely absolute4 ,we know in the last issue we are absolved from all opposition4 ,we know that in the process of life we are purely relative4 ,but timelessness is our fate1 and time is subordinate to our fate4 ,but time is eternal4 ,and the life of man is like a flower that comes into blossom and passes away4 ,in the beginning1 the light touches the darkness1 the darkness touches the light1 and the two embrace4 ,they embrace in opposition1 only in their desire is their unanimity4 ,there are two separate statements1 the dark wants the light1 and the light wants the dark4 ,but these two statements are contained within the one3 8,they want each other40 ,and this is the condition of absoluteness1 this condition of their wanting each other1 that which makes light and dark consummate even in opposition4 ,the interrelation between them1 this is constant and absolute1 let it be called love or power or what it may4 ,it is all the things that it can be called4 ,in the beginning1 light touches darkness and darkness touches light4 ,then life has begun4 ,the light enfolds and implicates and involves the dark1 the dark receives and interpenetrates the light1 they come nearer1 they are more finely combined1 till they burst into the crisis of oneness1 the blossom1 the utter being1 the transcendent and timeless flame of the iris4 ,then time passes on4 ,out of the swoon the waves ebb back1 dark towards the dark1 light towards the light4 ,they ebb back and away1 the leaves return unto the darkness of the earth1 the quivering glimmer of substance returns into the light1 the green of the last wavering iris disappears1 the waves ebb apart1 further1 further1 further4 ,yet they never separate4 ,the whole flood recedes1 the tides are going to separate4 ,and they separate entirely1 save for one enfolded ripple1 the tiny1 silent1 scarce-visible enfolded pools of the seeds4 ,these lie potent1 the meeting-ground1 the well-head wherein the tides will surge again1 when the turn comes4 ,this is the life of man4 ,in him too the tide sweeps together towards the utter consummation1 the consummation with the darkness1 the consummation with the light1 flesh and spirit1 one culminating crisis1 when man passes into timelessness and absoluteness4 ,the residue of imperfect fusion and unfulfilled desire remains1 the child1 the well-head where the tides will flow in again1 the seed4 ,the absolute relation is never fully revealed4 ,it leaps to its maximum of revelation in the flower1 the mature life4 ,but some of it rolls aside1 lies potent in the enfolded seed4 ,my desire is fulfilled1 ,i1 as individual am become timeless and absolute1 perfect4 ,but the whole desire of which ,i am part remains yet to be consummated4 ,in me the two waves clash to perfect consummation4 ,but immediately upon the clash come the next waves of the tide rippling in1 the ripples1 forerunners1 which tinily meet and enfold each other1 the seed1 the unborn child4 ,for we are all waves of the tide4 ,but the tide contains all the waves4 ,it may happen that waves which meet and mingle come to no consummation1 only a confusion and a swirl and a falling away again4 ,these are the myriad lives of human beings which pass in confusion of nothingness1 the uncreated lives4 ,there are myriads of human lives that are not absolute nor timeless1 myriads that just waver and toss temporarily1 never become more than relative1 never come into being4 ,they have no being1 no immortality4 ,there are myriads of plants that never come to flower1 but which perish away for ever1 always separated in the fringe of time1 never united1 never consummated1 never brought forth4 ,i know ,i am compound of two waves1 ,i1 who am temporal and mortal4 ,when ,i am timeless and absolute1 all duality has vanished4 ,but whilst ,i am temporal and mortal1 ,i am framed in the struggle and embrace of the two opposite waves of darkness and of light4 ,there is the wave of light in me which seeks the darkness1 which has for its goal the ,source and the ,beginning1 for its ,god the ,almighty ,creator to ,whom is all power and glory4 ,thither the light of the seed of man struggles and aspires1 into the infinite darkness1 the womb of all creation4 ,what way is it that leads me on to the ,source1 to the ,beginning8 ,it is the way of the blood1 the way of power4 ,down the road of the blood1 further and further into the darkness1 ,i come to the ,almighty ,god ,who was in the beginning1 is now1 and ever shall be4 ,i come to the ,source of ,power4 ,i am received back into the utter darkness of the ,creator1 ,i am once again with ,him4 ,this is a consummation1 a becoming eternal4 ,this is an arrival into eternity4 ,but eternity is only relative4 ,i can become one with ,god1 consummated into eternity1 by taking the road down the senses into the utter darkness of power1 till ,i am one with the darkness of initial power1 beyond knowledge of any opposite4 ,it is thus1 seeking consummation in the utter darkness1 that ,i come to the woman in desire4 ,she is the doorway1 she is the gate to the dark eternity of power1 the creator's power4 ,when ,i put my hand on her1 my heart beats with a passion of fear and ecstasy1 for ,i touch my own passing away1 my own ceasing-to-be1 ,i apprehend my own consummation in a darkness which obliterates me in its infinity4 ,my veins rock as if they were being destroyed1 the blood takes fire on the edge of oblivion1 and beats backward and forward4 ,i resist1 yet ,i am compelled2 the woman resists1 yet she is compelled4 ,and we are the relative parts dominated by the strange compulsion of the absolute4 ,gradually my veins relax their gates1 gradually the rocking blood goes forward1 quivers on the edge of oblivion1 then yields itself up1 passes into the borderland of oblivion4 ,oh1 and then ,i would die1 ,i would quickly die1 to have all power1 all life at once1 to come instantly to pure1 eternal oblivion1 the source of life4 ,but patience is fierce at the bottom of me2 fierce1 indomitable1 abiding patience4 ,so my blood goes forth in shock after shock of delirious passing-away1 in shock after shock entering into consummation1 till my soul is slipping its moorings1 my mind1 my will fuses down1 ,i melt out and am gone into the eternal darkness1 the primal creative darkness reigns1 and ,i am not1 and at last ,i am4 ,shock after shock of ecstasy and the anguish of ecstasy1 death after death of trespass into the unknown1 till ,i fall down into the flame1 ,i lapse into the intolerable flame1 a pallid shadow ,i am transfused into the flux of unendurable darkness1 and am gone4 ,no spark nor vestige remains within the supreme dark flow of the flame1 ,i am contributed again to the immortal source4 ,i am with the dark ,almighty of the beginning4 ,till1 new-created1 ,i am thrown forth again on the shore of creation1 warm and lustrous1 goodly1 new born from the darkness out of which all time has issued4 ,and then1 new-born on the knees of darkness1 new-issued from the womb of creation1 ,i open my eyes to the light and know the goal1 the end1 the light which stands over the end of the journey1 the everlasting day1 the oneness of the spirit4 ,the new journey1 the new life has begun1 the travelling to the opposite eternity1 to the infinite light of the ,spirit1 the consummation in the ,spirit4 ,my source and issue is in two eternities1 ,i am founded in the two infinities4 ,but absolute is the rainbow that goes between2 the iris of my very being4 ,it may be1 however1 that the seed of light never propagates within the darkness1 that the light in me is sterile1 that ,i am never re-born within the womb1 the ,source1 to be issued towards the opposite eternity4 ,it may be there is a great inequality1 disproportion1 within me1 that ,i am nearly all darkness1 like the night1 with a few glimmers of cold light1 moonlight1 like the tiger with white eyes of reflected light brindled in the flame of darkness4 ,then ,i shall return again and again to the womb of darkness1 avid1 never satisfied1 my spirit will fall unfertile into the womb1 will never be conceived there1 never brought forth4 ,i shall know the one consummation1 the one direction only1 into the darkness4 ,it will be with me for ever the almost1 almost1 almost1 of satisfaction1 of fulfilment4 ,i shall know the one eternity1 the one infinite1 the one immortality1 ,i shall have partial being2 but never the whole1 never the full4 ,there is an infinite which does not know me4 ,i am always relative1 always partial1 always1 in the last issue1 unconsummate4 ,the barren womb can never be satisfied1 if the quick of darkness be sterile within it4 ,but neither can the unfertile loins be satisfied1 if the seed of light1 of the spirit1 be dead within them4 ,they will return again and again and again to the womb of darkness1 asking1 asking1 and never satisfied4 ,then the unconsummated soul1 unsatisfied1 uncreated in part1 will seek to make itself whole by bringing the whole world under its own order1 will seek to make itself absolute and timeless by devouring its opposite4 ,adhering to the one eternity of darkness1 it will seek to devour the eternity of light4 ,realising the one infinite of the ,source1 it will endeavour to absorb into its oneness the opposite infinite of the ,goal4 ,this is the infinite with its tail in its mouth4 ,consummated in one infinite1 and one alone1 this soul will assert the oneness of all things1 that all things are one in the ,one ,infinite of the ,darkness1 of the ,source4 ,one is one and all alone and ever more shall be so4 ,this is the cry of the ,soul consummated in one eternity only4 ,there is one eternity1 one infinite1 one ,god4 8,thou shalt have no other god before me40 ,but why this ,commandment1 unless there were in truth another god1 at least the equal of ,jehovah8 ,consummated in the darkness only1 having not enough strength in the light1 the partial soul cries out in a convulsion of insistence that the darkness alone is infinite and eternal1 that all light is from the small1 contained sources1 the lamps lighted at will by the desire of the ,creator1 the sun1 the moon and stars4 ,these are the lamps and candles of the ,almighty1 which ,he blows out at will4 ,these are little portions of special darkness1 darkness transfigured1 these lights4 ,there is one ,god1 one ,creator1 one ,almighty2 there is one infinite and one eternity1 it is the infinite and the eternity of the ,source4 ,there is ,one ,way3 it is the ,way of the ,law4 ,there is one ,life1 the ,life of ,creation1 there is one ,goal1 the ,beginning1 there is one immortality1 the immortality of the great ,i ,am4 ,all is ,god1 the ,one ,god4 ,those who deny this are to be stamped out1 tortured1 tortured for ever4 ,it is possible then to deny it8 ,having declared the ,one ,god1 then the partial soul1 fulfilled of the darkness only1 proceeds to establish this ,god on earth1 to devour and obliterate all else4 ,rising from the darkness of consummation in the flesh1 with the woman1 it seeks to establish its kingdom over all the world4 ,it strides forth1 the lord1 the master1 strong for mastery4 ,it will dominate all1 all1 it will bring all under the rules of itself1 of the ,one1 the ,darkness lighted with the lamps of its own choice4 ,this is the heroic tyrant1 the fabulous king-warrior1 like ,sardanapolus or ,caesar1 like ,saul even4 ,these warrior kings seek to pass beyond all relatedness1 to become absolute in might and power4 ,and they fall inevitably4 ,their ,judas is a ,david1 a ,brutus3 the individual who knows something of both flames1 but commits himself to neither4 ,he holds himself1 in his own ego1 superior either to the creative dark power-flame1 or the conscious love-flame4 ,and so1 he is the small man slaying the great4 ,he is virtuous egoistic ,brutus1 or ,david3 ,david slaying the preposterous ,goliath1 overthrowing the heroic ,saul1 taking ,bathsheba and sending ,uriah to death3 ,david dancing naked before the ,ark1 asserting the oneness1 his own oneness1 the one infinity1 himself1 the egoistic ,god1 ,i ,,am4 ,and ,david never went in unto ,michal any more1 because she jeered at him4 ,so that she was barren all her life4 ,but it was ,david who really was barren4 ,michal1 when she mocked1 mocked the sterility of ,david4 ,for the spirit in him was blasted with unfertility2 he could not become born again1 he could not be conceived in the spirit4 ,michal1 the womb of profound darkness1 could not conceive to the overweak seed of ,david's spirit4 ,david's seed was too impure1 too feeble in sheer spirit1 too egoistic1 it bred and begot preponderant egoists4 ,the flood of vanity set in after ,david1 the lamps and candles began to gutter4 ,power is sheer flame1 and spirit is sheer flame1 and between them is the clue of the ,holy ,ghost4 ,but ,david put a false clue between them3 the clue of his own ego1 cunning and triumphant4 ,it is unfertility of spirit which sends man raging to the woman1 and sends him raging away again1 unsatisfied4 ,it is not the woman's barrenness3 it is his own4 ,it is sterility in himself which makes a ,don ,juan4 ,and the course of the barren spirit is dogmatically to assert ,one ,god1 ,one ,way1 ,one ,glory1 one exclusive salvation4 ,and this ,one ,god is indeed ,god1 this one ,way is the way1 but it is the way of egoism1 and the ,one ,god is the reflection1 inevitably1 of the worshipper's ego4 ,this is the sham ,crown1 which the victorious lion and the victorious unicorn alike puts on his own head4 ,when either triumphs1 the true crown disappears1 and the triumphant puts a false crown on his own head3 the crown of sterile egoism4 ,the true ,crown is above the fight itself1 and above the embrace itself1 not upon the brow of either fighter or lover4 ,or1 if you like1 in the true fight it shines equally upon the brow of the defeated and the winner4 ,for sometimes1 it is blessed to be beaten in a fight4 ,he who triumphs1 perishes4 ,as ,caesar perished1 and ,napoleon4 ,in the fight they were wonderful1 and the power was with them4 ,but when they would be supreme1 sheer triumphers1 exalted in their own ego1 then they fell4 ,triumph is a false absolution1 the winner salutes his enemy1 and the light of victory is on both their brows1 since both are consummated4 ,in the same way1 ,jesus triumphant perished4 ,any individual who will triumph1 in love or in war1 perishes4 ,there is no triumph4 ,there is but consummation in either case4 ,so ,shelley also perishes4 ,he wants to be love triumphant1 as ,napoleon wanted to be power triumphant4 ,both fell4 ,in both1 there is the spuriousness of the ego trying to seize the ,crown that belongs only to the consummation4 ,in the ,roman 8,triumph0 itself lay the source of ,rome's downfall4 ,and in the arrogance of ,england's dispensation of ,liberty in the world lies the downfall of ,england4 ,when ,liberty triumphs1 as in ,russia1 where then is the ,british ,empire8 ,where then is the ,british ,lion1 crowned ,fidei ,defensor1 ,defender of the ,faith of ,liberty and ,love8 ,when liberty needs no more defending1 then the protective lion had better look out4 ,take care of asserting any absolute1 either of power or love1 of empire or democracy4 ,the moment power triumphs1 it becomes spurious with sheer egoism1 like ,caesar and ,napoleon4 ,and the moment democracy triumphs1 it too becomes hideous with egoism1 like ,russia now4 ,either lion or unicorn1 triumphant1 turns into a sheer beast of prey4 ,foe it has none3 only prey--or victims4 ,so we have seen in the world1 every time that power has triumphed3 every time the lion and the eagle have jammed the crown down on their heads4 ,now it will be given us to see democracy triumphant1 the unicorn and the dove seizing the crown1 and on the instant turning into beasts of prey4 ,the true crown is upon the consummation itself1 not upon the triumph of one over another1 neither in love nor in power4 ,the ego is the false absolute4 ,and the ego crowned with the crown is the monster and the tyrant1 whether it represent one man1 an ,emperor1 or a whole mass of people1 a ,demos4 ,a million egos summed up under a crown are not better than one individual crowned ego4 ,they are a million times worse4 ,,iii ,,the ,,flux ,,of ,,corruption ,the tiger blazed transcendent into immortal darkness4 ,the unique phoenix of the desert grew up to maturity and wisdom4 ,sitting upon her tree1 she was the only one of her kind in all creation1 supreme1 the zenith1 the perfect aristocrat4 ,she attained to perfection1 eagle-like she rose in her nest and lifted her wings1 surpassing the zenith of mortality2 so she was translated into the flame of eternity1 she became one with the fiery ,origin4 ,it was not for her to sit tight1 and assert her own tight ego4 ,she was gone as she came4 ,in the nest was a little ash1 a little flocculent grey dust wavering upon a blue-red1 dying coal4 ,the red coal stirred and gathered strength1 gradually it grew white with heat1 it shot forth sharp gold flames4 ,it was the young phoenix within the nest1 with curved beak growing hard and crystal1 like a scimitar1 and talons hardening into pure jewels4 ,wherein1 however1 is the immortality1 in the constant occupation of the nest1 the widow's cruse1 or in the surpassing of the phoenix8 ,she goes gadding off into flame1 into her consummation4 ,in the flame she is timeless4 ,but the ash within the nest lies in the restless hollow of time1 shaken on the tall tree of the desert4 ,it will rise to the same consummation1 become absolute in flame4 ,in a low1 shady bush1 far off1 on the other side of the world1 where the rains are cold and the mists wrap the leaves in a chillness1 the ring-dove presses low on the bough1 while her mate sends forth the last ru-cuooo of peace4 ,the mist darkens and ebbs-in in waves1 the trees are melted away1 all things pass into a universal oneness1 with the last re-echoing dove1 peace1 all pure peace1 ebbing in softer1 softer waves to a universal stillness4 ,the dark blue tranquillity is universal and infinite1 the doves are asleep in the sleeping boughs1 all fruits are fallen and are silent and cold1 all the leaves melt away into pure mist of darkness4 ,it is strange1 that away on the other side of the world1 the tiger gleams through the hot-purple darkness1 and where the dawn comes crimson1 the phoenix lifts her wings in a yawn like an over-sumptuous eagle1 and passes into flame above the golden palpable fire of the desert4 ,here are the opposing hosts of angels1 the ruddy choirs1 the upright1 rushing flames1 the lofty ,cherubim that palpitate about the ,presence1 the ,source2 and then the tall1 still angels soft and pearly as mist1 who await round the ,goal1 the attendants that hover on the edge of the last ,assumption4 ,and from the seed two travellers set forth1 in opposite directions1 the one concentrating towards the upper1 ruddy1 blazing sun1 the zenith1 the creative fire2 the other towards the blue1 cold silence1 dividing itself and ever dividing itself till it is infinite in the universal darkness4 ,and at the summit1 the zenith1 there is a flash1 a flame1 as the traveller enters into infinite1 there is a red splash as the poppy leaps into the upper1 fiery eternity4 ,and far below there is unthinkable silence as the roots ramify and divide and pass into the oneness of unutterable silence4 ,the flame is gone1 the flower has leapt away1 the fruit ripens and falls4 ,then dark ebbs back to dark1 and light to light1 hot to hot1 and cold to cold4 ,this is death and decay and corruption4 ,and the worm1 the maggot1 these are the ministers of separation1 these are the tiny clashing ripples that still ebb together1 when the chief tide has set back1 to flow utterly apart4 ,this is the terror and wonder of dark returning to dark1 and of light returning to light1 the two departing back to their ,sources4 ,this we cannot bear to think of4 ,it is the temporal flux of corruption1 as the flux together was the temporal flux of creation4 ,the flux is temporal4 ,it is only the perfect meeting1 the perfect interpenetration into oneness1 the kiss1 the blow1 the two-in-one1 that is timeless and absolute4 ,and dark is not willing to return to dark till it has known the light1 nor light to light till it has known the dark1 till the two have been consummated into oneness4 ,but the act of death may itself be a consummation1 and life may be a state of negation4 ,it may be that our state of life is itself a denial of the consummation1 a prevention1 a negation2 that this life is our nullification1 our not-being4 ,it may be that the flower is held from the search of the light1 and the roots from the dark1 like a plant that is pot-bound4 ,it may be that1 as in the autumnal cabbage1 the light and the dark are made prisoners in us1 their opposition is overcome1 the ultimate moving has ceased4 ,we have forgotten our goal and our end4 ,we have enclosed ourselves in our exfoliation1 there are many little channels that run out into the sand4 ,this is evil1 when that which is temporal and relative asserts itself eternal and absolute4 ,this ,i1 which ,i am1 has no being save in timelessness4 ,in my consummation1 when that which came from the ,beginning and that which came from the ,end are transfused into oneness1 then ,i come into being1 ,i have existence4 ,till then ,i am only a part of nature2 ,i am not4 ,but as part of nature1 as part of the flux1 ,i have my instrumental identity1 my inferior ,i1 my self-conscious ego4 ,if ,i say that ,i am1 this is false and evil4 ,i am not4 ,among us all1 how many have being8--too few4 ,our ready-made individuality1 our identity is no more than an accidental cohesion in the flux of time4 ,the cohesion will break down and utterly cease to be4 ,the atoms will return into the flux of the universe4 ,and that unit of cohesion which ,i was will vanish utterly4 ,matter is indestructible1 spirit is indestructible4 ,this of us remains1 in any case1 general in the flux4 ,but the soul that has not come into being has no being for ever4 ,the soul does not come into being at birth4 ,the soul comes into being in the midst of life1 just as the phoenix in her maturity becomes immortal in flame4 ,that is not her perishing3 it is her becoming absolute3 a blossom of fire4 ,if she did not pass into flame1 she would never really exist4 ,it is by her translation into fire that she is the phoenix4 ,otherwise she were only a bird1 a transitory cohesion in the flux4 ,it is absurd to talk about all men being immortal1 all having souls4 ,very few men have being at all4 ,they perish utterly1 as individuals4 ,their endurance afterwards is the endurance of ,matter within the flux1 non-individual3 and spirit within the flux4 ,most men are just transitory natural phenomena4 ,whether they live or die does not matter3 except in so far as every failure in the part is a failure in the whole4 ,their death is of no more matter than the cutting of a cabbage in the garden1 an act utterly apart from grace4 ,they assert themselves as important1 as absolute mortals4 ,they are just liars4 ,when one cuts a fat autumnal cabbage1 one cuts off a lie1 to boil it down in the pot4 ,they are all just fat lies1 these people1 these many people1 these mortals4 ,they are innumerable cabbages in the regulated cabbage plot4 ,and our great men are no more than ,mrs4 ,wiggs of the ,cabbage ,patch4 ,the cabbage is a nice fat lie4 ,that is why we eat it4 ,it is the business of the truthful to eat up the lies4 ,a fatted cow is a lie1 and a fat pig is a lie1 and a fatted sheep is a lie1 just the same3 these sacrificial beasts1 these lambs and calves1 become fat lies when they are merely protected and fed full4 ,the cabbage is a lie because it asserts itself as a permanency1 in the state wherein it finds itself4 ,in the swirl of the ,beginning and the ,end1 stalk and leaves take place4 ,but the stalk and leaves are only the swirl of the waves4 ,yet they say1 they are absolute1 they have achieved a permanent form4 ,it is a lie4 ,their universal absolute is only the far-off dawning of the truth1 the false dawn which in itself is nothing1 nothing except in relation to that which comes after4 ,but they say1 8,we are the consummation and the reality1 we are the fulfilment40 ,this is pure amorphousness4 ,each one becomes a single1 separate entity1 a single separate nullity4 ,having started along the way to eternity1 they say1 8,we are there1 we have arrived10 and they enclose themselves in the nullity of the falsehood4 ,and this is the state of man1 when he falls into self-sufficiency1 and asserts that his self-conscious ego is ,it4 ,he falls into the condition of fine cabbages4 ,then they are wealthy and fat4 ,they go no further1 so they become wealthy4 ,all that great force which would carry them naked over the edge of time1 into timelessness1 into being1 they convert into fatness1 into having4 ,and they are full of self-satisfaction4 ,having no being1 they assert their artificial completeness1 and the life within them becomes a will-to-have2 which is the expression of the will-to-persist1 in the temporary unit4 ,selfishness is the subjugating of all things to a false entity1 and riches is the great flux over the edge of the bottomless pit1 the falsity1 the nullity4 ,for where is the rich man who is not the very bottomless pit8 ,travel nearer1 nearer1 nearer to him1 and one comes to the gap1 the hole1 the abyss where his soul should be4 ,he is not4 ,and to stop up his hollowness1 he drags all things unto himself4 ,and what are we all1 all of us1 collectively1 even the poorest1 now1 in this age8 ,we are only potentially rich men4 ,we are all alike4 ,the distinction between rich and poor is purely accidental4 ,rich and poor alike are only1 each one1 a pit-head surrounding the bottomless pit4 ,but the rich man1 by pouring vast quantities of matter down his void1 gives himself a more pleasant illusion of fulfilment than the poor man can get3 that is all4 ,yet we would give our lives1 every one of us1 for this illusion4 ,there are no rich or poor1 there are no masses and middle classes and aristocrats4 ,there are myriads of framed gaps1 people1 and a few timeless fountains1 men and women4 ,that is all4 ,myriads of framed gaps6 ,myriads of little egos1 all wearing the crown of life6 ,myriads of little ,humpty-,dumpties1 self-satisfied emptinesses1 all about to have a great fall4 ,the current ideal is to be a gap with a great heap of matter around it1 which can be sent clattering down4 ,the most sacred thing is to give all your having so that it can be put on the heaps that surround all the other bottomless pits4 ,if you give away all your having1 even your life1 then1 you are a bottomless pit with no sides to it4 ,which is infinite4 ,so that to become infinite1 give away all your having1 even to your life4 ,so that you will achieve immortality yourself4 ,like the heroes of the war1 you will become the bottomless pit itself2 but more than this1 you will be contributing to the public good1 you will be one of those who make blessed history3 which means1 you will be heaping goods upon the dwindling heaps of superfluity that surrounds these bottomless lives of the myriad people4 ,if we poor can each of us hire a servant1 then the servant will be like a stone tumbling always ahead of us down the bottomless pit4 ,which creates an almost perfect illusion of having a solid earth beneath us4 ,long ago we agreed that we had fulfilled all purpose and that our only business was to look after other people4 ,we said2 8,it is marvellous1 we are really complete40 ,if the regulation cabbage1 hide-bound and solid1 could walk about on his stalk1 he would be very much as we are4 ,he would think of himself as we think of ourselves1 he would talk1 as we talk1 of the public good4 ,but inside him1 proper and fine1 the heart would be knocking and urgent1 the heart of the cabbage4 ,of course for a long time he would not hear it4 ,his good1 enveloping green leaves outside1 the heap round the hole1 would have closed upon him very early1 like ,wordsworth's 8,shades of the prison house10 very close and complete and gratifying4 ,but the heart would beat within him1 beat and beat1 grow louder and louder1 till it was threshing the whole of his inside rotten1 threshing him hollow1 till his inside began to devour his consciousness4 ,then he would say3 8,i must do something40 ,looking round he would see little dwindly cabbages struggling in the patch1 and would say3 8,so much injustice1 so much suffering and poverty in the world1 it cannot be40 ,then he would set forth to make dwindly cabbages into proper1 fine cabbages4 ,so he would be a reformer4 ,he would kick1 kick1 kick against the conditions which make some cabbages poor and dwindly1 most cabbages poorer and more dwindly than himself4 ,he would but be kicking against the pricks4 ,but it is very profitable to kick against the pricks4 ,it gives one a sensation1 and saves one the necessity of bursting4 ,if our reformers had not had the prickly wrongs of the poor to kick1 so that they hurt their toe quite sorely1 they might long ago have burst outwards from the enclosed form in which we have kept secure4 ,let no one suffer1 they have said4 ,no mouse shall be caught by a cat1 no mouse4 ,it is a transgression4 ,every mouse shall become a pet1 and every cat shall lap milk in peace1 from the saucer of utter benevolence4 ,this is the millennium1 the golden age that is to be1 when all shall be domesticated1 and the lion and the leopard and the hawk shall come to our door to lap milk and to peck the crumbs1 and no sound shall be heard but the lowing of fat cows and the baa-ing of fat sheep4 ,this is the ,green ,age that is to be1 the age of the perfect cabbage4 ,this was our hope and our fulfilment1 for this1 in this hope1 we lived and we died4 ,so the virtuous1 public-spirited ones have suffered bitterly from the aspect of their myriad more-or-less blighted neighbors1 whom they love as themselves4 ,they have lived and died to right the wrong conditions of social injustice4 ,meanwhile the threshing has continued at the core of us1 till our entrails are threshed rotten4 ,we are a wincing mass of self-consciousness and corruption1 within our plausible rind4 ,the most unselfish1 the most humanitarian of us all1 he is the hollowest and fullest of rottenness4 ,the more rotten we become1 the more insistent and insane becomes our desire to ameliorate the conditions of our poorer1 and maybe healthier neighbours4 ,fools1 vile fools6 ,why cannot we acknowledge and admit the horrible pulse and thresh of corruption within us4 ,what is this self-consciousness that palpitates within us like a disease8 ,what is it that threshes and threshes within us1 drives us mad if we see a cat catch a sparrow8 ,we dare not know4 ,oh1 we are convulsed with shame long before we come to the point4 ,it is indecent beyond endurance to think of it4 ,yet here let it be told4 ,it was the living desire for immortality1 for being1 which urged us ceaselessly4 ,it was the bud within the cabbage1 threshing1 threshing1 threshing4 ,and now1 oh our convulsion of shame1 when we must know this6 ,we would rather die4 ,yet it shall be made known4 ,it was the struggling of the light and darkness within us1 towards consummation1 towards absoluteness1 towards flowering4 ,oh1 we shriek with anger of shame as the truth comes out3 that the cabbage is rotten within because it wanted to straddle up into weakly fiery flower1 wanted to straddle forth in a spire of ragged1 yellow1 inconsequential blossom4 ,oh ,god1 it is unendurable1 this revelation1 this disclosure1 it is not to be borne4 ,our souls perish in an agony of self-conscious shame1 we will not have it4 ,yet had we listened1 the hide-bound cabbage might have burst1 might have opened apart1 for a venturing forth of the tender1 timid1 ridiculous cluster of aspirations1 that issue in little yellow tips of flame1 the flowers naked in eternity1 naked above the staring unborn crowd of amorphous entities1 the cabbages3 the myriad egos4 ,but the crowd of assertive egos1 of tough entities1 they were too strong1 too many4 ,quickly they extinguished any shoot of tender immortality from among them1 violently they adhered to the null rind and to the thresh of rottenness within4 ,still the living desire beat and threshed at the heart of us1 relentlessly4 ,and still the fixed will of the temporal form we have so far attained1 the static1 mid-way form1 triumphed in assertion4 ,still the false ,i1 the ego1 held down the real1 unborn ,i1 which is a blossom with all a blossom's fragility4 ,yet constantly the rising flower pushed and thrust at the belly and heart of us1 thrashed and beat relentlessly4 ,if it could not beat its way through into being1 it must thrash us hollow4 ,let it do so then1 we said4 ,this also we enjoy1 this being threshed rotten inside4 ,this is sensationalism1 reduction of the complex tissue back through rottenness to its elements4 ,and this sensationalism1 this reduction back1 has become our very life1 our only form of life at all4 ,we enjoy it1 it is our lust4 ,it became at last a collective activity1 a war1 when1 within the great rind of virtue we thresh destruction further and further1 till our whole civilization is like a great rind full of corruption1 of breaking down1 a mere shell threatened with collapse upon itself4 ,and the road of corruption leads back to one eternity4 ,the activity of utter going apart has1 in eternity1 a result equivalent to the result of utter coming together4 ,the tiger rises supreme1 the last brindled flame upon the darkness2 the deer melts away1 a blood-stained shadow received into the utter pallor of light2 each having leapt forward into eternity1 at opposite extremes4 ,within the closed shell of the ,christian conception1 we lapse utterly back1 through reduction1 back to the ,beginning4 ,it is the triumph of death1 of decomposition4 ,and the process is that of the serpent lying prone in the cold1 watery fire of corruption1 flickering with the flowing-apart of the two streams4 ,his belly is white with the light flowing forth from him1 his back is dark and brindled where the darkness returns to the ,source4 ,he is the ridge where the two floods flow apart4 ,so in the orange-speckled belly of the newt1 the light is taking leave of the darkness1 and returning to the light2 the imperious1 demon-like crest is the flowing home of the darkness4 ,he is the god within the flux of corruption1 from him proceeds the great retrogression back to the ,beginning and back to the ,end4 ,these are our gods4 ,there are elsewhere the golden angels of the ,kiss1 the golden1 fiery angels of strife1 those that have being when we come together1 as opposites1 as complements coming to consummation4 ,there is delight and triumph elsewhere1 these angels sound their loud trumpets4 ,then men are like brands that have burst spontaneously into flame1 the phoenix1 the tiger1 the glistening dove1 the white-burning unicorn4 ,but here are only the angels that cleave asunder1 terrible and invincible4 ,with cold1 irresistible hands they put us apart1 they send like unto like1 darkness unto darkness4 ,they thrust the seas backward from embrace1 backward from the locked strife4 ,they set the cold phosphorescent flame of light flowing back to the light1 and cold heavy darkness flowing back to the darkness4 ,they are the absolute angels of corruption1 they are the snake1 the newt1 the water-lily1 as reflected from below4 ,i cease to be1 my darkness lapses into utter1 stone darkness1 my light into a light that is keen and cold as frost4 ,this goes on within the rind4 ,but the rind remains permanent1 falsely absolute1 my false absolute self1 my self-conscious ego4 ,till the work of corruption is finished2 then the rind also1 the public form1 the civilization1 the established consciousness of mankind disappears as well in the mouth of the worm1 taken unutterably asunder by the hands of the angels of separation4 ,it ceases to be1 all the civilization and all the consciousness1 it passes utterly away1 a temporary cohesion in the flux4 ,it was this1 this rind1 this persistent temporary cohesion1 that was evil1 this alone was evil4 ,and it destroys us all before itself is destroyed4 ,,iv ,,within ,,the ,,sepulchre ,within the womb of the established past1 the light has entered the darkness1 the future is conceived4 ,it is conceived1 the beginning of the end has taken place4 ,light is within the grip of darkness1 darkness within the embrace of light1 the ,beginning and the ,end are closed upon one another4 ,they come nearer and nearer1 till the oneness is full grown within the womb of the past1 within the belly of ,time1 it must move out1 must be brought forth1 into timelessness4 ,but something withholds it4 ,the pregnancy is accomplished1 the hour of labour has come4 ,yet the labour does not begin4 ,the loins of the past are withered1 the young unborn is shut in4 ,all the time1 within the womb1 light has been travelling to the dark1 the interfusion of the two into a oneness has continued4 ,now that it is fulfilled1 it meets with some arrest4 ,it is the dry walls of the womb which cannot relax4 ,there is a struggle4 ,then the darkness1 having overcome the light1 reaching the dead null wall of the womb1 reacts into self-consciousness1 and recoils upon itself4 ,at the same time the light has surpassed its limit1 become conscious1 and starts in reflex to recoil upon itself4 ,thus the false ,i comes into being3 the ,i which thinks itself supreme and infinite1 and which is1 in fact1 a sick foetus shut up in the walls of an unrelaxed womb4 ,here1 at this moment when the birth pangs should begin1 when the great opposition between the old and the young should take place1 when the young should beat back the old body that surrounds it1 and the old womb and loins should expel the young body1 there is a deadlock4 ,the two cannot fight apart4 ,the walls of the old body are inflexible and insensible1 the unborn does not know that there can be any travelling forth4 ,it conceives itself as the whole universe1 surrounded by dark nullity4 ,it does not know that it is in prison4 ,it believes itself to have filled up the whole of the universe1 right to the extremes where is nothing but blank nullity4 ,it is tremendously conceited4 ,it can only react upon itself4 ,and the reaction can only take the form of self-consciousness4 ,for the self is everything1 universal1 the surrounding womb is just the outer darkness in which that which is1 exists4 ,therefore there remains either to die1 to pass into the outer darkness1 or to enter into self-knowledge4 ,so the unborn recoils upon itself1 dark upon dark1 light upon light4 ,this is the horror of corruption begun already within the unborn1 already dissolution and corruption set in before birth4 ,and this is the triumph of the ego4 ,mortality has usurped the ,crown4 ,the unborn1 reacting upon the null walls of the womb1 assumes that it has reached the limit of all space and all being4 ,it concludes that its self is fulfilled1 that all consummation is achieved4 ,it takes for certain that itself has filled the whole of space and the whole of time4 ,and this is the glory of the ego4 ,there is no more fight to be fought1 there is no more to be sought and embraced4 ,all is fought and overcome1 all is embraced and contained4 ,it is all concluded1 there is nothing remaining but the outer nothingness1 the only activity is the reaction against the outer nothingness1 into the achieved being of the self1 all else is fulfilled and concluded4 ,to die is merely to assume nothingness4 ,the limit of all life is reached4 ,and this is the apotheosis of the ego4 ,so there is the great turning round upon the self1 dark upon dark1 light upon light1 the flux of separation1 corruption within the unborn4 ,the tides which are set towards each other swirl back as from a promontory which intervenes4 ,there has been no consummation4 ,there can be no consummation4 ,the only thing is to return1 to go back--that which came from the ,beginning to go back to the ,beginning1 that which came from the ,end to return to the ,end4 ,in the return lies the fulfilment4 ,and this is the unconscious undoing of the ego4 ,that which we are is absolute4 ,there is no adding to it1 no superseding this accomplished self4 ,it is final and universal4 ,all that remains is thoroughly to explore it4 ,that is1 to analyse it4 ,analysis presupposes a corpse4 ,it is at this crisis in the human history that tragic art appears again1 that art becomes the only absolute1 the only watchword among the people4 ,this achieved self1 which we are1 is absolute and universal4 ,there is nothing beyond4 ,all that remains is to state this self1 and the reactions upon this self1 perfectly4 ,and the perfect statement presumes to be art4 ,it is aestheticism4 ,at this crisis there is a great cry of loneliness4 ,every man conceives himself as a complete unit surrounded by nullity4 ,and he cannot bear it4 ,yet his pride is in this also4 ,the greatest conceit of all is the cry of loneliness4 ,at this crisis1 emotion turns into sentiment1 and sentimentalism takes the place of feeling4 ,the ego has no feeling1 it has only sentiments4 ,and the myriad egos sway in tides of sentimentalism4 ,but the tacit utterance of every man1 when this state is reached1 is 8,aprs moi le ,dluge40 ,and when the deluge begins to set in1 there is profound secret satisfaction on every hand4 ,for the ego in a man secretly hates every other ego4 ,in a democracy where every little ego is crowned with the false crown of its own supremacy1 every other ego is a false usurper1 and nothing more4 ,we can only tolerate those whose crowns are not yet manufactured1 because they can't afford it4 ,and again1 the supreme little ego in man hates an unconquered universe4 ,we shall never rest till we have heaped tin cans on the ,north ,pole and the ,south ,pole1 and put up barb-wire fences on the moon4 ,barb-wire fences are our sign of conquest4 ,we have wreathed the world with them4 ,the back of creation is broken4 ,we have killed the mysteries and devoured the secrets4 ,it all lies now within our skin1 within the ego of humanity4 ,so circumscribed within the outer nullity1 we give ourselves up to the flux of death1 to analysis1 to introspection1 to mechanical war and destruction1 to humanitarian absorption in the body politic1 the poor1 the birth-rate1 the mortality of infants1 like a man absorbed in his own flesh and members1 looking for ever at himself4 ,it is the continued activity of disintegration--disintegration1 separating1 setting apart1 investigation1 research1 the resolution back to the original void4 ,all this goes on within the glassy1 insentient1 insensible envelope of nullity4 ,and within this envelope1 like the glassy insects within their rind1 we imagine we fill the whole cosmos1 that we contain within ourselves the whole of time1 which shall tick forth from us as from a clock1 now everlastingly4 ,we are capable of nothing but reduction within the envelope4 ,our every activity is the activity of disintegration1 of corruption1 of dissolution1 whether it be our scientific research1 our social activity--7the social activity is largely concerned with reducing all the parts contained within the envelope to an equality1 so that there shall be no unequal pressure1 tending to rupture the envelope1 which is divine7--our art1 or our anti-social activity1 sensuality1 sensationalism1 crime1 war4 ,everything alike contributes to the flux of death1 to corruption1 and liberates the static data of the consciousness4 ,whatever single act is performed by any man now1 in this condition1 it is an act of reduction1 disintegration4 ,the scientist in his laboratory1 the artist in his study1 the statesman1 the artisan1 the sensualist obtaining keen gratification1 every one of these is reducing down that which is himself to its simpler elements1 reducing the compound back to its parts4 ,it is the pure process of corruption in all of us4 ,the activity of death is the only activity4 ,it is like the decay of our flesh1 and every new step in decay liberates a sensation1 keen1 momentarily gratifying1 or a conscious knowledge of the parts that made a whole2 knowledge equally gratifying4 ,it is like ,dmitri ,karamazov1 who seeks and experiences sensation after sensation1 reduction after reduction1 till finally he is stripped utterly naked before the police1 and the quick of him perishes4 ,there is no more any physical or integral ,dmitri ,karamazov4 ,that which is in the hospital1 afterwards1 is a conglomeration of qualities1 strictly an idiot1 a nullity4 ,and ,dostoevsky has shown us perfectly the utter subjection of all human life to the flux of corruption4 ,that is his theme1 the theme of reduction through sensation after sensation1 consciousness after consciousness1 until nullity is reached1 all complexity is broken down1 an individual becomes an amorphous heap of elements1 qualities4 ,there are the two types1 the dark ,dmitri ,karamazov1 or ,rogozhin2 and the ,myshkin on the other hand4 ,dmitri ,karamazov and ,rogozhin will each of them plunge the flesh within the reducing agent1 the woman1 obtain the sensation and the reduction within the flesh1 add to the sensual experience1 and progress towards utter dark disintegration1 to nullity4 ,myshkin on the other hand will react upon the achieved consciousness or personality or ego of every one he meets1 disintegrate this consciousness1 this ego1 and his own as well1 obtaining the knowledge of the factors that made up the complexity of the consciousness1 the ego1 in the woman and in himself1 reduce further and further back1 till himself is a babbling idiot1 a vessel full of disintegrated parts1 and the woman is reduced to a nullity4 ,this is real death4 ,the actual physical fact of death is part of the life-stream4 ,it is an incidental point when the flux of light and dark has flowed sufficiently apart for the conjunction1 which we call life1 to disappear4 ,we live with the pure flux of death1 it is part of us all the time4 ,but our blossoming is transcendent1 beyond death and life4 ,only when we fall into egoism do we lose all chance of blossoming1 and then the flux of corruption is the breath of our existence4 ,from top to bottom1 in the whole nation1 we are engaged1 fundamentally engaged in the process of reduction and dissolution4 ,our reward is sensational gratification in the flesh1 or sensational gratification within the mind1 the utter gratification we experience when we can pull apart the whole into its factors4 ,this is the reward in scientific and introspective knowledge1 this is the reward in the pleasure of cheap sensuality4 ,in each case1 the experience remains as it were absolute4 ,it is the statement of what is1 or what was4 ,and a statement of what is1 is the absolute footstep in the progress backward towards the starting place1 it is the undoing of a complete unit into the factors which previously went to making its oneness4 ,it is the reduction of the iris back into its component waves4 ,there was the bliss when the iris came into being4 ,there is now the bliss when the iris passes out of being1 and the whole is torn apart4 ,the secret of the whole is never captured4 ,certain data are captured4 ,the secret escapes down the sensual1 or the sensational1 or intellectual1 thrill of pleasure4 ,so there goes on reduction after reduction within the shell4 ,and we1 who find our utmost gratification in this process of reduction1 this flux of corruption1 this retrogression of death1 we will preserve with might and main the glassy envelope1 the insect rind1 the tight-shut shell of the cabbage1 the withered1 null walls of the womb4 ,for by virtue of this null envelope alone do we proceed uninterrupted in this process of gratifying reduction4 ,and this is utter evil1 this secret1 silent worship of the null envelope that preserves us intact for our gratification with the flux of corruption4 ,intact within the null envelope1 which we have come to worship as the preserver of this our life-activity of reduction1 we re-act back upon what we are4 ,we do not seek any more the consummation of union4 ,we seek the consummation of reduction4 ,when a man seeks a woman in love1 or in positive desire1 he seeks a union1 he seeks a consummation of himself with that which is not himself1 light with dark1 dark with light4 ,but within the glassy1 null envelope of the enclosure1 no union is sought1 no union is possible2 after a certain point1 only reduction4 ,ego reacts upon ego only in friction4 ,there are small egos1 many small people1 who have not reached the limit of the confines which we worship4 ,they may still have small consummation in union4 ,but all those who are strong and have travelled far have met and reacted from the nullity4 ,and then1 when a man seeks a woman1 he seeks not a consummation in union1 but a frictional reduction4 ,he seeks to plunge his compound flesh into the cold acid that will reduce him1 in supreme sensual experience1 down to his parts4 ,this is ,rogozhin seeking ,nastasia ,filippovna1 ,dmitri his ,grushenka1 or ,d',annunzio in ,fuoco seeking his ,foscarina4 ,this is more or less what happens when a soldier1 maddened with lust of pure destructiveness1 violently rapes the woman of his captivity4 ,it is that he may destroy another being by the very act which is called the act of creation1 or procreation4 ,in the brute soldier it is cruelty-lust3 as it was in the ,red ,indian4 ,but when we come to civilized man1 it is not so simple4 ,his cruelty-lust is directed almost as much against himself as against his victim4 ,he is destroying1 reducing1 breaking down that of himself which is within the envelope4 ,he is immersing himself within a keen1 fierce1 terrible reducing agent4 ,this is true of the hero in ,edgar ,allan ,poe's tales1 ,ligeia1 or the ,fall of the ,house of ,usher4 ,the man seeks his own sensational reduction1 but he disintegrates the woman even more1 in the name of love4 ,in the name of love1 what horrors men perpetrate1 and are applauded6 ,it is only in supreme crises that man reaches the supreme pitch of annihilation4 ,the difference1 however1 is only a difference in degree1 not in kind4 ,the bank-clerk performs in a mild degree what ,poe performed intensely and deathlily4 ,these are the men in whom the development is rather low1 whose souls are coarsely compounded1 so that the reduction is coarse1 a sort of activity of coarse hate4 ,but the men of finer sensibility and finer development1 sensuous or conscious1 they must proceed more gradually and subtly and finely in the process of reduction4 ,it is necessary for a finely compounded nature to reduce itself more finely1 to know the subtle gratification of its own reduction4 ,a subtle nature like ,myshkin's would find no pleasure of reduction in connection with ,grushenka1 scarcely any with ,nastasia4 ,he must proceed more delicately4 ,he must give up his soul to the reduction4 ,it is his mind1 his conscious self he wants to reduce4 ,he wants to dissolve it back4 ,he wants to become infantile1 like a child1 to reduce and resolve back all the complexity of his consciousness1 to the rudimentary condition of childhood4 ,that is his ideal4 ,so he seeks mental contacts1 mental re-actions4 ,it is in his mental or conscious contacts that he seeks to obtain the gratification of self-reduction4 ,he reaches his crisis in his monologue of self-analysis1 self-dissolution1 in the drawing-room scene where he falls in a fit4 ,and of course1 all this reducing activity is draped in alluring sentimentalism4 ,the most evil things in the world1 today1 are to be found under the chiffon folds of sentimentalism4 ,sentimentality is the garment of our vice4 ,it covers viciousness as inevitably as greenness covers a bog4 ,with all our talk of advance1 progress1 we are all the time working backwards4 ,our heroines become younger and younger4 ,in the movies1 the heroine is becoming more and more childish1 and touched with infantile idiocy4 ,we cannot bear honest maturity4 ,we want to reduce ourselves back1 back to the corruptive state of childishness4 ,now it is all very well for a child to be a child4 ,but for a grown person to be slimily1 pornigraphically reaching out for child-gratifications1 is disgusting4 ,the same with the prevalent love of boys4 ,it is the desire to be reduced back1 reduced back1 in our accomplished ego3 always within the unshattered rind of our completeness and complacency1 to go backwards1 in sentimentalised disintegration1 to the states of childhood4 ,and no matter what happens to us1 now1 we sentimentalise it and use it as a means of sensational reduction4 ,even the great war does not alter our civilization one iota1 in its total nature4 ,the form1 the whole form1 remains intact4 ,only inside the complete envelope we writhe with sensational experiences of death1 hurt1 horror1 reduction4 ,the goodness of anything depends on the direction in which it is moving4 ,childhood1 like a bud1 striving and growing and struggling towards blossoming full maturity1 is surely beautiful4 ,but childhood as a goal1 for which grown people aim3 childishness futile and sentimental1 for which men and women lust1 and which always retreats when grasped1 like the ignis fatuus of a poisonous marsh of corruption3 this is disgusting4 ,while we live1 we are balanced between the flux of life and the flux of death4 ,all the while our bodies are being composed and decomposed4 ,but while every man fully lives1 all the time the two streams keep fusing into the third reality1 of real creation4 ,every new gesture1 every fresh smile of a child is a new emergence into creative being3 a glimpse of the ,holy ,ghost4 ,but when grown people start grimacing with childishness1 or lusting after child-gratifications1 it is corruption pure and simple4 ,and the still clear look on an old face1 and the stillness of old1 withered hands1 which have gathered the long repose of autumn1 this is the purity of the two streams consummated1 and the bloom1 like autumn crocuses1 of age4 ,but the painted1 silly child-face that old women make nowadays3 or the harpy's face that many have1 lusting for the sensations of youth3 the hard1 voracious1 selfish faces of old men1 seeking their own ends1 devouring the shoots of young life3 this is vile4 ,while we live1 we are balanced between the flux of life and the flux of death4 ,but the real clue is the ,holy ,ghost1 that moves us on into the state of blossoming4 ,and each year the blossoming is different3 from the delicate blue speedwells of childhood to the equally delicate1 frail farewell flowers of old age3 through all the poppies and sunflowers3 year after year of difference4 ,while we live1 we change1 and our flowering is a constant change4 ,but once we fall into the state of egoism1 we cannot change4 ,the ego1 the self-conscious ego remains fixed1 a final envelope around us4 ,and we are then safe inside the mundane egg of our own self-consciousness and self-esteem4 ,safe we are6 ,safe as houses6 ,shut up like unborn chickens that cannot break the shell of the egg4 ,that's how safe we are6 ,and as we can't be born1 we can only rot4 ,that's how safe we are6 ,safe within the everlasting walls of the egg-shell we have not the courage1 nor the energy1 to crack1 we fall1 like the shut-up chicken1 into a pure flux of corruption1 and the worms are our angels4 ,and mankind falls into the state of innumerable little worms bred within the unbroken shell3 all clamoring for food1 food1 food1 all feeding on the dead body of creation1 all crying peace6 peace6 universal peace6 brotherhood of man6 ,everything must be 8universal01 to the conquering worm4 ,it is only life which is different4 ,v ,,the ,,nuptials ,,of ,,death ,,and ,,the ,,attendant ,,vulture ,to those who are in prison1 whose being is prisoner within the walls of unliving fact1 there are only two forms of triumph3 the triumph of inertia1 or the triumph of the ,will4 ,there is no flowering possible4 ,and the experience en route to either triumph1 is the experience of sensationalism4 ,stone walls need not a prison make3 that is1 not an absolute prison4 ,if the great sun has shone into a man's soul1 even prison-walls cannot blot it out4 ,yet prison-walls1 unless they be a temporary shelter are deadly things4 ,so1 if we are imprisoned within walls of accomplished fact1 experience1 or knowledge1 we are prisoned indeed4 ,the living sun is shut out finally4 ,a false sun1 like a lamp1 shines4 ,all absolutes are prison-walls4 ,these 8laws0 which science has invented1 like conservation of energy1 indestructibility of matter1 gravitation1 the will-to-live1 survival of the fittest3 and even these absolute facts1 like--the earth goes round the sun1 or the doubtful atoms1 electrons1 or ether--they are all prison-walls1 unless we realise that we don't know what they mean4 ,we don't know what we mean1 ultimately1 by conservation1 or indestructibility4 ,our atoms1 electrons1 ether1 are caps that fit exceeding badly4 ,and our will-to-live contains a germ of suicide1 and our survival-of-the-fittest the germ of degeneracy4 ,as for the earth going round the sun3 it goes round as the blood goes round my body1 absolutely mysteriously1 with the rapidity and hesitation of life4 ,but the human ego1 in its pettifogging arrogance1 sets up these things for you as absolutes1 and unless you kick hard and kick in time1 they are your prison walls forever4 ,your spirit will be like a dead bee in a cell4 ,once you are in prison1 you have no experience left1 save the experience of reduction1 destruction going on inwardly4 ,your sentimentalism is only the smell of your own rottenness4 ,this reduction within the self is sensationalism4 ,and sensationalism1 of course1 is progressive4 ,you can't have your cake and eat it4 ,to get a sensation1 you eat your cake4 ,that is1 to get a sensation1 you reduce down some part of your complex psyche1 physical and psychic4 ,you get a flash1 as when you strike a match4 ,but a match once struck can never be struck again4 ,it is finished--sensationalism is an exhaustive process4 ,the resolving down is progressive4 ,it can apparently go on ad infinitum4 ,but in infinity it means what we call utter death1 utter nothingness1 opposites released from opposition1 and from conjunction1 till there is nothing left at all1 only nullity itself4 ,sensationalism progresses in the individual4 ,this is the doom of it4 ,this is the doom of egoistic sex4 ,egoistic sex-excitement means the reacting of the sexes against one another in a purely reducing activity4 ,the reduction progresses4 ,when ,i have finally reduced one complexity1 one unit1 ,i must proceed to the next1 the lower4 ,it is the progressive activity of dissolution within the soul4 ,and the climax of this progression is in perversity1 degradation and death4 ,but only the very powerful and energetic ego can go through all the phases of its own violent reduction4 ,the ordinary crude soul1 after having enjoyed the brief reduction in the sex1 is finished there1 blas1 empty4 ,and alcohol is slow and crude1 and opium is only for the imaginative1 the somewhat spiritual nature4 ,then remain the opium-drugs1 for a finisher1 a last reducer4 ,there remains only the reduction of the contact with death4 ,so that as the sex is exhausted1 gradually1 a keener desire1 the desire for the touch of death follows on1 in an intense nature4 ,then come the fatal drugs4 ,or else those equally fatal wars and revolutions which really create nothing at all1 but destroy1 and leave emptiness4 ,when a man is cleaving like a fly with spread arms upon the face of a rock1 with infinite space beneath him1 and he feels his foothold going1 and he cries out to the men on the rope1 and falls away1 dangling into endless space1 jerked back by the thin rope1 then he perishes1 he is fused in the reducing flame of death4 ,he knows another keen anguish of reduction4 ,what matters to that man1 afterwards8 ,does any of the complex life of the world below matter8 ,none4 ,all that is left is the triumph of his will in having gone so far and recovered4 ,and all that lies ahead is another risk1 another slip1 another agony of the fall1 or a demonish triumph of the will4 ,and the final consummation of such a man is the last fall of all1 the few horrible seconds whilst he drops1 like a meteorite1 to extinction4 ,this is his final and utter satisfaction1 the smash of extinction at the bottom4 ,but even this man is not a pure egoist4 ,this man still has his soul open to the mystery of the mountains1 he still feels the passion of the contact with death4 ,if he wins1 however1 in the contest3 if his will triumphs in the test3 then there is danger of his falling into final egoism1 the more-or-less inert complacency of a self-satisfied old man4 ,the soul is still alive1 while it has passion3 any sort of passion1 even for the brush with death1 or for the final and utter reduction4 ,and in the brush with death it may be released again into positive life4 ,a man may be sufficiently released by a fall on the rope and the dangling for a few minutes of agony1 in space4 ,that may finally reduce his soul to its elements1 set it free and child-like1 and break-down that egoistic entity which has developed upon it from the past4 ,the near touch of death may be a release into life2 if only it will break the egoistic will1 and release that other flow4 ,but if a man1 having fallen very near to death1 gets up at length and says3 8,i did it6 ,it's my triumph6 ,i beat the mountains that time60--then1 of course1 his ego has only pulled itself in triumph out of the menace1 and the individual will go on more egoistic and barrenly complacent4 ,if a man says3 8,i fell6 ,but the unseen goodness helped me1 when ,i struggled for life1 and so ,i was saved0--then this man will go on in life unimprisoned1 the channels of his heart open1 and passion still flowing through him4 ,but if the brush with death only gave the brilliant sensational thrill of fear1 followed immediately1 by the gamin exultance3 8,yah6 ,i got myself out all right60--then the ego continues intact1 having enjoyed the sensation1 and remaining vulgarly triumphant in the power of the ,will4 ,and it will continue inert and complacent till the next thrill4 ,so it is with war4 ,whoever goes to war in his own might alone1 will even if he come out victorious1 come out barren3 a barren triumpher1 whose strength is in inertia4 ,a man must do his own utmost3 but even then1 the final stroke will be delivered1 or the final strength will be given from the unseen1 and the man must feel it4 ,if he doesn't feel it1 he will be an inert victor1 or equally inert vanquished1 complacent and sterile in either case4 ,there must be a certain faith4 ,and that means1 an ultimate reliance on that which is beyond our will1 and not contained in our ego4 ,we have gone to war4 ,for a hundred years we have been piling up safety upon safety1 we have grown enormously within the shell of our civilization1 we have rounded off our own ego and grown almost complacent about our own triumphs of will4 ,till we come to a point where sex seems exhausted1 and passion falls flat4 ,when even criticism and analysis now only fatigue the mind and weary the soul4 ,then we gradually1 gradually formulate the desire3 ,oh1 give us the brush with death1 and let us see if we can win out all right6 ,we go into a war like this in order to get once more the final reduction under the touch of death4 ,that the death is so inhuman1 cold1 mechanical1 sordid1 the giving of the body to the grip of cold1 stagnant mud and stagnant water1 whilst one awaits for some falling death1 the knowledge of the gas clouds that may lacerate and reduce the lungs to a heaving mass1 this1 this sort of self-inflicted ,sadism1 brings almost a final satisfaction to our civilized and still passionate men4 ,almost6 ,and when it is over1 and we have won out1 shall we be released into a new lease of life8 ,or shall we only extend our dreary lease of egoism and complacency8 ,shall we know the barren triumph of the will8--or the equally barren triumph inertia1 helplessness1 barren irresponsibility4 ,and still1 as far as there is any passion in the war1 it is a passion for the embrace with death4 ,the desire to deal death and to take death4 ,the enemy is the bride1 whose body we will reduce with rapture of agony and wounds4 ,we are the bridegroom1 engaged with him in the long1 voluptuous embrace1 the giving of agony1 the rising and rising of the slow unwilling transport of misery1 the soaking-in of day after day of wet mud1 in penetration of the heavy1 sordid1 unendurable cold1 on and on to the climax1 the laceration of the blade1 like a frost through the tissue1 blasting it4 ,this is the desire and the consummation1 this is the war4 ,but at length1 we shall be satisfied1 at length we shall have consummation4 ,then the war will end4 ,and what then8 ,it is not really a question of victories or defeats4 ,it is a question of fulfilment1 and release from the old prison-house of a dead form4 ,the war is one bout in the terrific1 horrible labour1 our civilization laboring in child-birth1 and unable to bring forth4 ,how will it end8 ,will there be a release1 a relaxation of the horrible walls1 and a real issuing1 a birth8 ,or will it end in nothing1 all the agony going to stiffen the old form deader1 to enclose the unborn more helplessly and drearily4 ,it may easily be4 ,for behind us all1 in the war1 stand the old and the elderly1 complacent with egoism1 bent on maintaining the old form4 ,oh1 they are the monkey grinning with anxiety and anticipation1 behind us1 waiting for the burnt young cat to pull the chestnut out of the fire4 ,and in the end1 they will thrill with the triumph of their egoistic will1 and harden harder still with vulture-like enertia1 rapacious inertia4 ,in sex1 we have plunged the quick of creation deep into the cold flux of reduction1 corruption1 till the quick is extinguished4 ,in war we have plunged the whole quick of the living1 sentient body into a cold1 cold flux4 ,much has died and much will die4 ,but if the whole quick dies1 and there remain only the material1 mechanical unquickened tissue1 acting at the bidding of the mechanical will1 and the sterile ego triumphant1 then it is a poor tale1 a barrenly poor tale4 ,i have seen a soldier at the seaside who was maimed4 ,one leg was only a small stump1 with the trouser folded back on it4 ,he was a handsome man of about thirty1 finely built4 ,his face was sun-browned1 and extraordinarily beautiful1 still1 with a strange placidity1 something like perfection1 abstract1 complete4 ,he had known his consummation4 ,it seemed he could never desire corruption or reduction again1 he had had his satisfaction of death4 ,he was become almost impersonal1 a simple abstraction1 all his personality loosed and undone4 ,he was now like a babe just born1 new to begin life4 ,yet in a sense1 still-born4 ,the newness and candour1 like a flower just unloosed1 was something strange and rare in him4 ,yet unloosed1 curiously1 into the light of death4 ,so he came forward down the pier1 in the sunshine1 slowly on his crutches4 ,behind1 the sea was milk-white and vague1 as if full of ghosts1 and silent1 except when a long white wave plunged to silence out of the smooth1 milky silence of the sea1 coming from very far out of the ghostly stillness4 ,the maimed soldier1 strong and handsome1 with some of the frail candour of a newly-wakened child in his face1 came slowly down the pier on his crutches1 looking at everybody who looked at him4 ,he was nave like a child1 wondering4 ,the people stared at him with a sort of fascination4 ,so he was rather vain1 rather proud1 like a vain child4 ,he did not know he was maimed1 it had not entered his consciousness4 ,his soul1 so clean and new and fine1 could not conceive of such a thing4 ,he was rather vain and slightly ostentatious1 not as a man with a wound1 a trophy1 more as a child who is conspicuous among envious elders4 ,the women particularly were fascinated4 ,they could not look away from him4 ,the strange abstraction of horror and death was so perfect in his face1 like the horror of birth on a new-born infant1 that they were almost hysterical4 ,they gravitated towards him1 helplessly1 they could not move away from him4 ,they wanted him1 they wanted him so badly1 that they were almost beside themselves4 ,they wanted his consummation1 his perfect completeness in horror and death4 ,they too wanted the consummation4 ,they followed him1 they made excuses to talk to him4 ,and he1 strange1 abstract1 glowing still from the consummation of destruction and pain and horror1 like a bridegroom just come from the bride1 seemed to glow before the women1 to give off a strange1 unearthly radiance1 which was like an embrace1 a most poignant embrace to their souls4 ,but still his eyes were looking1 looking1 looking for someone who was not eager for him1 to know him1 to devour him1 like women round a perfect child4 ,he had not realized yet what all the attention meant1 which he received4 ,he was so strong in his new birth4 ,and he was looking for his own kind1 for the living1 the new-born1 round about4 ,but he was surrounded by greedy1 voracious people1 like birds seeking the death in him1 pecking at the death in him4 ,it was horrible1 rather sinister1 the women round the man1 there on the pier stretched from the still1 sunny land over the white sea1 noiseless and inhuman4 ,the spirit of destruction is divine1 when it breaks the ego and opens the soul to the wide heavens4 ,in corruption there is divinity4 ,aphrodite is1 on one side1 the great goddess of destruction in sex1 ,dionysus in the spirit4 ,moloch and some gods of ,egypt are gods also of the knowledge of death4 ,in the soft and shiny voluptuousness of decay1 in the marshy chill heat of reptiles1 there is the sign of the ,godhead4 ,it is the activity of departure4 ,and departure is the opposite equivalent of coming together2 decay1 corruption1 destruction1 breaking down is the opposite equivalent of creation4 ,in infinite going-apart there is revealed again the pure absolute1 the absolute relation3 this time truly as a ,ghost3 the ghost of what was4 ,we who live1 we can only live or die4 ,and when1 like the maimed soldier on the pier with the white sea behind1 when we have come right back into life1 and the wonder of death fades off our faces again1 what then8 ,shall we go on with wide1 careless eyes and the faint astonished smile waiting all our lives for the accomplished death8 ,waiting for death finally8 ,and continuing the sensational reduction process8 ,or shall we fade into a dry empty egoism8 ,which will the maimed soldier do8 ,he cannot remain as he is1 clear and peaceful4 ,are we really doomed1 and smiling with the wonder of doom8 ,even if we are1 we need not say3 8,it is finished40 ,it is never finished4 ,that is one time when ,jesus spoke a fatal half-truth1 in his ,consummatum ,est6 ,death consummates nothing4 ,it can but abruptly close the individual life4 ,but ,life itself1 and even the forms men have given it1 will persist and persist4 ,there is no consummation into death4 ,death leaves still further deaths4 ,leonardo knew this3 he knew the strange endlessness of the flux of corruption4 ,it is ,mona ,lisa's ironic smile4 ,even ,michael ,angelo knew it4 ,it is in his ,leda and the ,swan4 ,for the swan is one of the symbols of divine corruption with its reptile feet buried in the ooze and mud1 its voluptuous form yielding and embracing the ooze of water1 its beauty white and cold and terrifying1 like the dead beauty of the moon1 like the water-lily1 the sacred lotus1 its neck and head like the snake1 it is for us a flame of the cold white fire of flux1 the phosphorescence of corruption1 the salt1 cold burning of the sea which corrodes all it touches1 coldly reduces every sun-built form to ash1 to the original elements4 ,this is the beauty of the swan1 the lotus1 the snake1 this cold white salty fire of infinite reduction4 ,and there was some suggestion of this in the ,christ of the early ,christians1 the ,christ who was the ,fish4 ,so that1 when ,leonardo and ,michael ,angelo represent ,leda in the embrace of the swan1 they are painting mankind in the clasp of the divine flux of corruption1 the singing death4 ,mankind turned back1 to cold1 bygone consummations4 ,when the swan first rose out of the marshes1 it was a glory of creation4 ,but when we turn back1 to seek its consummation again1 it is a fearful flower of corruption4 ,and corruption1 like growth1 is only divine when it is pure1 when all is given up to it4 ,if it be experienced as a controlled activity within an intact whole1 this is vile4 ,when the cabbage flourishes round a hollow rottenness1 this is vile4 ,when corruption goes on within the living womb1 this is unthinkable4 ,the chicken dead in the egg is an abomination4 ,we cannot subject a divine process to a static will1 not without blasphemy and loathsomeness4 ,the static will must be subject to the process of reduction1 also4 ,for the pure absolute1 the ,holy ,ghost1 lies also in the relationship which is made manifest by the departure1 the departure ad infinitum1 of the opposing elements4 ,corruption will at last break down for us the deadened forms1 and release us into the infinity4 ,but the static ego1 with its will-to-persist1 neutralises both life and death1 and utterly defies the ,holy ,ghost4 ,the unpardonable sin6 ,it is possible for this static will1 this vile rind of nothingness1 to triumph for a long while over the divine relation in the flux1 to assert an absolute nullity of static form4 ,this we do who preserve intact our complete null concept of life1 as an envelope around this flux of destruction1 the war4 ,the whole concept and form of life remains absolute and static1 around the gigantic but contained seething of the fight4 ,it is the rottenness seething within the cabbage1 corruption within the old1 fixed body4 ,the cabbage does not relax1 the body is not broken open4 ,the reduction is sealed and contained4 ,that is our attitude now4 ,it is the attitude of the women who flutter round and peck at death in us4 ,this is the carrion process set in1 the process of obscenity1 the baboon1 the vulture in us4 ,in so far as we fight to remain ideally intact1 in so far as we seek to give and to have the experience of death1 so that we may remain unchanged in our whole conscious form1 may preserve the static entity of our conception1 around the fight1 we are obscene4 ,we are like vultures and obscene insects4 ,we may give ourselves utterly to destruction4 ,then our conscious forms are destroyed along with us1 and something new must arise4 ,but we may not have corruption within ourselves as sensationalism1 our skin and outer form intact4 ,to destroy life for the preserving of a static1 rigid form1 a shell1 a glassy envelope1 this is the lugubrious activity of the men who fight to save democracy and to end all fighting4 ,the fight itself is divine1 the relation betrayed in the fight is absolute4 ,but the glassy envelope of the established concept is only a foul nullity4 ,destruction and ,creation are the two relative absolutes between the opposing infinites4 ,life is in both4 ,life may even1 for a while be almost entirely in one1 or almost entirely in the other4 ,the end of either oneness is death4 ,for life is really in the two1 the absolute is the pure relation1 which is both4 ,if we have our fill of destruction1 then we shall turn again to creation4 ,we shall need to live again1 and live hard1 for once our great civilized form is broken1 and we are at last born into the open sky1 we shall have a whole new universe to grow up into1 and to find relations with4 ,the future will open its delicate1 dawning icons in front of us1 unfathomable4 ,but let us watch that we do not preserve an enveloping falsity around our destructive activity1 some nullity of virtue and self-righteousness1 some conceit of the 8general good0 and the salvation of the world by bringing it all within our own conceived whole form4 ,this is the utter lie and obscenity4 ,the ego1 like ,humpty ,dumpty1 sitting for ever on the wall4 ,the vulture was once1 perhaps1 an eagle4 ,it became a supreme strong bird1 almost like the phoenix4 ,but at a certain point1 it said3 8,i am ,it40 ,and then it proceeded to preserve its own static form crystal about the flux of corruption1 fixed1 absolute as a crystal1 about the horrible seethe of corruption4 ,then the eagle became a vulture4 ,and the dog1 through cowardice1 arrested itself at a certain point and became domestic1 or a hyna1 preserving a glassy1 fixed form about a voracious seethe of corruption4 ,and the baboon1 almost a man1 or almost a high beast1 arrested himself and became obscene1 a grey1 hoary rind closed upon an activity of strong corruption4 ,and the louse1 in its little glassy envelope1 brings everything into the corrupting pot of its little belly4 ,and these are all perfectly-arrested egoists1 asserting themselves static and foul1 triumphant in inertia and in will4 ,let us watch that we do not turn either into carrion or into carrion eaters4 ,let us watch that we do not become1 in the vulgar triumph of our will1 and the obscene inertia of our ego1 vultures who feed on putrescence4 ,the lust for death1 for pain1 for torture1 is even then better than this fatal triumph of inertia and the egoistic will4 ,anything is better than that4 ,the ,red ,indians1 full of ,sadism and self-torture and death1 destroyed themselves4 ,but the eagle1 when it gets stuck and can know no more blossoming turns into a vulture with a naked head1 and becomes carrion-foul4 ,there must always be some balance between the passion for destruction and the passion for creation1 in every living activity2 for in the race to destruction we can utterly destroy the vital quick of our being1 leave us amorphous1 undistinguished1 vegetable2 and in the race for creation we can lose ourselves in mere production1 and pile ourselves over with dead null monstrosities of obsolete form4 ,all birth comes with the reduction of old tissue4 ,but the reduction is not the birth4 ,that is the fallacy of all of us1 who represent the old tissue now4 ,in this fallacy we go careering down the slope in our voluptuousness of death and horror1 careering into oblivion1 like ,hippolytus trammelled up and borne away in the traces of his maddened horses4 ,who says that the spirit of destruction will outrun itself8 ,not till the driver be annihilated4 ,then the destructive career will run itself out4 ,and then what8 ,but neither destruction nor production is1 in itself1 evil4 ,the danger lies in the fall into egoism1 which neutralises both4 ,when destruction and production alike are mechanical1 meaningless4 ,the race of destruction may outrun itself4 ,but still the form may remain intact1 the old imprisoning laws4 ,only those who have not travelled to the confines will be left1 the mean1 the average1 the laborers1 the slaves3 all of them little crowned egos4 ,still the ancient mummy will have the people within its belly4 ,there they will be slaves3 not to the enemy1 but to themselves1 the concept established about them3 being slaves1 they will be happy enclosed within the tomb-like belly of a concept1 like goldfish in a bowl1 which think themselves the centre of the universe4 ,this is like the vultures of the mountains4 ,they have kept the form and height of eagles4 ,but their souls have turned into the souls of slaves and carrion eaters4 ,their size1 their strength1 their supremacy of the mountains1 remains intact4 ,but they have become carrion eaters4 ,this is the tomb1 the whited sepulchre1 this very form1 this liberty1 this ideal for which we are fighting4 ,the ,germans are fighting for another sepulchre4 ,theirs is the sepulchre of the ,eagle become vulture1 ours is the sepulchre of the lion become dog3 soon to become hyna4 ,but we would have our own sepulchre1 in which we shall dwell secure when the rage of destruction is over4 ,let it be the sepulchre of the dog or the vulture1 the sepulchre of democracy or aristocracy1 what does it matter6 ,inside it1 the worms will jig the same jazzy dances1 and heave and struggle to get hold of vast and vaster stores of carrion1 or its equivalent1 gold4 ,the carrion birds1 aristocrats1 sit up high and remote1 on the sterile rocks of the old absolute1 their obscene heads gripped hard and small1 like knots of stone clenched upon themselves forever4 ,the carrion dogs and hynas of the old1 arid1 democratic absolute1 prowl among the bare stones of the common earth1 in numbers1 their loins cringing1 their heads sharpened to stone4 ,those who will hold power1 afterwards1 they will sit on their rocks and heights of unutterable morality1 which have become foul through the course of ages1 like vultures upon the unchangeable mountain-tops4 ,the fixed1 existing form will persist forever beneath them1 about them1 they will have become the spirit incarnate of the fixed form of life4 ,they will eat carrion1 having become a static hunger for keen putrescence4 ,this alone will support the incarnation of hoary fixity which they are4 ,and beside the carrion they will fight the multitudes of hoary1 obscene dogs1 which also persist4 ,it is the mortal form become null and fixed and enduring1 glassy1 horrible1 beyond life and death1 beyond consummation1 the awful1 stony nullity4 ,it is timeless1 almost as the rainbow4 ,but it is not utterly timeless4 ,it is only unthinkably slow1 static in its passing away1 perpetuated4 ,its very aspect of timelessness is a fraud4 ,what is evil8--not death1 nor the blood-devouring ,moloch1 but this spirit of perpetuation and apparent timelessness1 this obscenity which holds the great carrion birds1 and the carrion dogs4 ,the tiger1 the hawk1 the weasel1 are beautiful things to me2 and as they strike the dove and the hare1 that is the will of ,god1 it is a consummation1 a bringing together of two extremes1 a making perfect one from the duality4 ,but the baboon1 and the hyna1 the vulture1 the condor1 and the carrion crow1 these fill me with fear and horror4 ,these are the highly developed life-forms1 now arrested1 petrified1 frozen1 falsely1 timeless4 ,the baboon was almost as man1 the hyna as the lion3 the vulture and the condor are greater than the eagle1 the carrion crow is stronger than the hawk4 ,and these obscene beasts are not ashamed4 ,they are stark and static1 they are not mixed4 ,their will is hoary1 ageless4 ,before us1 the ,egyptians have known them and worshipped them4 ,the baboon1 with his intelligence and his unthinkable loins1 the cunning hyna with his cringing1 stricken loins1 these are the static form of one achieved ego1 the egoistic ,christian1 the democratic1 the unselfish4 ,the vulture1 with her naked neck and naked1 small stony head1 this is the static form of the other achieved ego1 the eagle1 the ,self1 aristocratic1 lordly1 pagan4 ,it is unthinkable and unendurable4 ,yet we are drawn more and more in this direction4 ,after the supreme intelligence1 the baboon1 after the supreme pride1 the vulture4 ,the millionaire3 the international financier3 the bankers of this world4 ,the baboons1 the hynas1 the vultures4 ,the snake is the spirit of the great corruptive principle1 the festering cold of the marsh4 ,this is how he seems1 as we look back4 ,we revolt from him1 but we share the same life and tide of life as he4 ,he struggles as we struggle1 he enjoys the sun1 he comes to the water to drink1 he curls up1 hides himself to sleep4 ,and under the low skies of the far past ons1 he emerged a king out of chaos1 a long beam of new life4 ,but the vulture looms out in sleep like a rock1 invincible within the hoary1 static form1 invincible against the flux of both eternities4 ,one day there was a loud1 terrible scream from the garden1 tearing the soul4 ,oh1 and it was a snake lying on the warm garden bed1 and in his teeth the leg of a frog1 a frog spread out1 screaming with horror4 ,we ran near4 ,the snake glanced at us sharply1 holding fast to the frog1 trying to get further hold4 ,in so trying1 it let the frog escape1 which leaped convulsed1 away4 ,then the snake slid noiselessly under cover1 sullenly1 never looking at us again4 ,we were all white with fear4 ,but why8 ,in the world of twilight as in the world of light1 one beast shall devour another4 ,the world of corruption has its stages1 where the lower shall devour the higher1 ad infinitum4 ,so a snake1 also1 devours the fascinated bird1 the little1 static bird with its tiny skull4 ,yet is there no great reptile that shall swallow the vulture8 ,as yet1 the vulture is beyond life or change4 ,it stands hard1 immune within the principle of corruption1 and the principle of creation1 unbreakable4 ,it is kept static by the fire of putrescence1 which makes the void within balance the void without4 ,it is a changeless tomb wherein the latter stages of corruption take place1 counteracting perfectly the action of life4 ,life devours death to keep the static nullity of the form4 ,so the ragged1 grey-and-black vulture sits hulked1 motionless1 like a hoary1 foul piece of living rock1 its naked head and neck sunk in1 only the curved beak protruding1 the naked eyelids lowered4 ,motionless1 beyond life1 it sits on the sterile heights4 ,it does not sleep1 it stays utterly static4 ,when it spreads its great wings and floats down the air1 still it is static1 still this is the sleep1 a dream-floating4 ,when it rips up carrion and swallows it1 it is still the same dream-motion1 static1 beyond the inglutination4 ,the naked1 obscene head is always fast locked1 like stone4 ,it is this naked1 obscene head of a bird1 sleep-locked1 a petrified knot of sleep1 that ,i cannot bear to think of4 ,when ,i think of it1 ,i neither live nor die1 ,i am petrified into foulness4 ,the knot of volition1 the will knotted upon a perpetuated moment1 will not now be unloosed for ever4 ,it will remain hoary1 unchanging1 timeless4 ,till it disappears1 suddenly4 ,amid all the flux of time1 of the two eternities1 this head remains unbroken in a cold1 rivetted sleep4 ,but one day it will be broken4 ,i am set utterly against this small1 naked1 stone-clinched head1 it is a foul vision ,i want to wipe away4 ,but ,i am set utterly also against the loathsome1 cringing1 imprisoned loins of the hyna1 that cringe down the hind legs of the beast with their static weight4 ,again the static will has knotted into rivetted1 endless nullity1 but here upon the loins4 ,in the vulture1 the head is turned to stone1 the fire is in the talons and the beak4 ,in the hoary1 glassy hyna1 the loins are turned to stone1 heavy1 sinking down to earth1 almost dragged along1 the fire is in the white eyes1 and in the fangs4 ,the hyna can scarcely see and hear the living world2 it draws back on to the stony fixity of its own loins1 draws back upon its own nullity1 sightless save for carrion4 ,the vulture can neither see nor hear the living world1 it is one supreme glance1 the glance in search of carrion1 its own absolute quenching1 beyond which is nothing4 ,this is the end1 and beyond the end4 ,this is beyond the beginning and the end4 ,here the beginning and the end are revoked4 ,the vulture1 revoking the end1 the end petrified upon the beginning1 is a nullity4 ,the hyna1 the beginning petrified beneath the end1 is a nullity4 ,this is beyond the beginning and the end1 this is aristocracy gone beyond aristocracy1 the ,i gone beyond the ,i2 the other is democracy gone beyond democracy1 the not-me surpassed upon itself4 ,this is the changelessness of the kingdoms of the earth1 null1 unthinkable4 ,this is the last state into which man may fall1 in the triumph of will and the triumph of inertia1 the state of the animated sepulchre4 ,,vi ,,to ,,be1 ,,and ,,to ,,be ,,different ,behind me there is time stretching back for ever1 on to the unthinkable beginnings1 infinitely4 ,and this is eternity4 ,ahead of me1 where ,i do not know1 there is time stretching on infinitely1 to eternity4 ,these are the two eternities4 ,we cannot say1 they are one and the same4 ,they are two and utterly different4 ,if ,i look at the eternity ahead1 my back is towards the other eternity1 this latter is forgotten1 it is not4 ,which is the ,christian attitude4 ,if ,i look at the eternity behind1 back to the source1 then there is for me one eternity1 one only4 ,and this is the pagan eternity1 the eternity of ,pan4 ,this is the eternity some of us are veering round to1 in private life1 during the past few years4 ,the two eternities are not one eternity4 ,it is only by denying the very meaning of speech itself1 that we can argue them into oneness4 ,they are two1 relative to one another4 ,they are only one in their mutual relation1 which relation is timeless and absolute4 ,the eternities are temporal and relative4 ,but their relation is constant1 absolute without mitigation4 ,the motion of the eternities is dual3 they flow together1 and they flow apart1 they flow for ever towards union1 they start back forever in opposition1 to flow for ever back to the issue1 back into the unthinkable future1 back into the unthinkable past4 ,we have known both directions4 ,the ,pagan1 aristocratic1 lordly1 sensuous1 has declared the ,eternity of the ,origin1 the ,christian1 humble1 spiritual1 unselfish1 democratic1 has declared the ,eternity of the ,issue1 the ,end4 ,we have heard both declarations1 we have seen each great ideal fulfilled1 as far as is possible1 at this time1 on earth4 ,and now we say3 8,there is no eternity1 there is no infinite1 there is no ,god1 there is no immortality40 ,and all the time we know we are cutting off our nose to spite our face4 ,without ,god1 without some sort of immortality1 not necessarily life-everlasting1 but without something absolute1 we are nothing4 ,yet now1 in our spitefulness of self-frustration1 we would rather be nothing than listen to our own being4 ,god is not the one infinite1 nor the other1 our immortality is not in the original eternity1 neither in the ultimate eternity4 ,god is the utter relation between the two eternities1 ,he is in the flowing together and the flowing apart4 ,this utter relation is timeless1 absolute and perfect4 ,it is in the ,beginning and the ,end1 just the same4 ,whether it be revealed or not1 it is the same4 ,it is the ,unrevealed ,god3 what ,jesus called the ,holy ,ghost4 ,my immortality is not from the beginning1 in my endless ancestry4 ,nor is it on ahead in life everlasting4 ,my life comes to me from the great ,creator1 the ,beginner4 ,and my spirit runs towards the ,comforter1 the ,goal far ahead4 ,but ,i1 what am ,i between8 ,these two halves ,i always am4 ,but ,i am never myself until they are consummated into a spark of oneness1 the gleam of the ,holy ,ghost4 ,and in this spark is my immortality1 my non-mortal being1 that which is not swept away down either direction of time4 ,i am not immortal till ,i have achieved immortality4 ,and immortality is not a question of time1 of everlasting life4 ,it is a question of consummate being4 ,most men die and perish away1 unconsummated1 unachieved4 ,it is not easy to achieve immortality1 to win a consummate being4 ,it is supremely difficult4 ,it means undaunted suffering and undaunted enjoyment1 both4 ,and when a man has reached his ultimate of enjoyment and his ultimate of suffering1 both1 then he knows the two eternities1 then he is made absolute1 like the iris1 created out of the two4 ,then he is immortal4 ,it is not a question of time4 ,it is a question of being4 ,it is not a question of submission1 submitting to the divine grace3 it is a question of submitting to the divine grace1 in suffering and self-obliteration1 and it is a question of conquering by divine grace1 as the tiger leaps on the trembling deer1 in utter satisfaction of the ,self1 in complete fulfilment of desire4 ,the fulfilment is dual4 ,and having known the dual fulfilment1 then within the fulfilled soul is established the divine relation1 the ,holy ,spirit dwells there1 the soul has achieved immortality1 it has attained to absolute being4 ,so the body of man is begotten and born in an ecstasy of delight and of suffering4 ,it is a flame kindled between the opposing confluent elements of the air4 ,it is the battle-ground and marriage-bed of the two invisible hosts4 ,it flames up to its full strength1 and is consummate1 perfect1 absolute1 the human body4 ,it is a revelation of ,god1 it is the foam-burst of the two waves1 it is the iris of the two eternities4 ,it is a flame1 flapping and travelling in the winds of mortality4 ,then the pressure of the dark and the light relaxes1 the flame sinks4 ,we watch the slow departure1 till only the wick glows4 ,then there is the dead body1 cold1 rigid1 perfect in its absolute form1 the revelation of the consummation of the flux1 a perfect jet of foam that has fallen and is vanishing away4 ,the two waves are fast going asunder1 the snow-wreath melts1 corruption's quick fire is burning in the achieved revelation4 ,we cannot bear it1 that the body should decay4 ,we cover it up1 we cannot bear it4 ,it is the revelation of ,god1 it is the most holy of all revealed things4 ,and it melts into slow putrescence4 ,we cannot bear it4 ,we wish above all to preserve this achieved and perfect form1 this revelation of ,god4 ,and despair comes over us when it passes away4 8,sic transit10 we say1 in agony4 ,the perfect form was not achieved in time1 but in timelessness4 ,it does not belong to today or tomorrow1 or to eternity4 ,it just is4 ,it is we who pass away1 we and the whole flux of the two eternities1 these pass4 ,this is the eternal flux4 ,but the ,god-quick1 which is the constant within the flux1 this is neither temporal nor eternal1 it is truly timeless4 ,and this perfect body was a revelation of the timeless ,god1 timeless as ,he4 ,if we1 in our mortality are temporal1 if we are part of the flux of the eternities then we swirl away in our living flux1 the flesh decomposes and is lost4 ,but all the time1 whether in the glad warm confluence of creation or in the cold flowing-apart of corruption1 the same quick remains absolute and timeless1 the revelation is in ,god1 timeless4 ,this alone of mortality does not belong to the passing away1 this consummation1 this revelation of ,god within the body1 or within the soul4 ,this revelation of ,god is ,god4 ,but we who live1 we are of the flux1 we belong to the two eternities4 ,only perpetuation is a sin4 ,the perfect relation is perfect4 ,but it is therefore timeless4 ,and we must not think to tie a knot in ,time1 and thus to make the consummation temporal or eternal4 ,the consummation is timeless1 and we belong to ,time1 in our process of living4 ,only ,matter is a very slow flux1 the waves ebbing slowly apart4 ,so we engrave the beloved image on the slow1 slow wave4 ,we have the image in marble1 or in pictured colour4 ,this is art1 this transferring to a slow flux the form that was attained at the maximum of confluence between the two quick waves4 ,this is art1 the revelation of a pure1 an absolute relation between the two eternities4 ,matter is a slow1 big wave flowing back to the ,origin4 ,and ,spirit is a slow1 infinite wave flowing back to the ,goal1 the ultimate ,future4 ,on the slow wave of matter and spirit1 on marble or bronze or colour or air1 and on the consciousness1 we imprint a perfect revelation1 and this is art3 whether it reveal the relation in creation or in corruption1 it is the same1 it is a revelation of ,god3 whether it be ,piero della ,francesca or ,leonardo da ,vinci1 the garon qui pisse or ,phidias1 or ,christ or ,rabelais4 ,because the revelation is imprinted on stone or granite1 on the slow1 last-receding wave1 therefore it remains with us for a long1 long time1 like the sculptures of ,egypt4 ,but it is all the time slowly passing away1 unhindered1 in its own time4 ,it passes away1 but it is not in any sense lost4 ,our souls are established upon all the revelations1 upon all the timeless achieved relationships1 as the seed contains a convoluted memory of all the revelation in the plant it represents4 ,the flower is the burning of ,god in the bush3 the flame of the ,holy ,ghost3 the actual ,presence of accomplished oneness1 accomplished out of twoness4 ,the true ,god is created every time a pure relationship1 or a consummation out of twoness into oneness takes place4 ,so that the poppy flower is ,god come red out of the poppy-plant4 ,and a man1 if he win to a sheer fusion in himself of all the manifold creation1 a pure relation1 a sheer gleam of oneness out of manyness1 then this man is ,god created where before ,god was uncreate4 ,he is the ,holy ,ghost in tissue of flame and flesh1 whereas before1 the ,holy ,ghost was but ,ghost4 ,it is true of a man as it is true of a dandelion or of a tiger or of a dove4 ,each creature1 by some mystery1 achieved a consummation in itself of all the wandering sky and sinking earth1 and leaped into the other kingdom1 where flowers are1 of the gleaming ,ghost4 ,so it is for ever4 ,the two waves of ,time flow in from the eternities1 towards a meeting1 a consummation4 ,and the meeting1 the consummation1 is heaven1 is absolute4 ,all the while1 as long as time lasts1 the shock of the two waves passed into oneness1 there is a new heaven4 ,all the while1 heaven is created from the flux of time1 the galaxies between the night4 ,and we too may be heavenly bodies1 however we swirl back in the flux4 ,when we have surged into being1 when we have caught fire with friction1 we are the immortals of heaven1 the invisible stars that make the galaxy of night1 no matter how the skies are tossed about4 ,we can forget1 but we cannot cease to be4 ,life nor death makes any difference1 once we are4 ,for ever the kingdom of ,heaven is established more perfectly1 more beautifully1 between the flux of the two eternities4 ,one by one1 in our consummation1 we pass1 a new star1 into the galaxy that arches between the nightfall and the dawn1 one by one1 like the bushes in the desert1 we take fire with ,god1 and burn timelessly3 and within the flame is heaven that has come to pass4 ,every flower that comes out1 every bird that sings1 every hawk that drops like a blade on her prey1 every tiger flashing his paws1 every serpent hissing out poison1 every dove bubbling in the leaves1 this is timeless heaven established from the flood1 in this we have our form and our being4 ,every night new ,heaven may ripple into being1 every era a new ,cycle of ,god may take place4 ,but it is all timeless4 ,the error of errors is to try to keep heaven fixed and rocking like a boat anchored within the flux of time4 ,then there is sure to be shipwreck3 8,die ,wellen verschlingen am ,ende ,schiffer und ,kahn40 ,from the flux of time ,heaven takes place in timelessness4 ,the flux must go on4 ,this is sin1 this tying the knot in ,time1 this anchoring the ark of eternal truth upon the waters4 ,there is no ark1 there is no eternal system1 there is no rock of eternal truth4 ,in ,time and in ,eternity all is flux4 ,only in the other dimension1 which is not the time-space dimension1 is there ,heaven4 ,we can no more stay in this heaven1 than the flower can stay on its stem4 ,we come and go4 ,so the body that came into being and walked transfigured in heavenliness must lie down and fuse away in the slow fire of corruption4 ,time swirls away1 out of sight of the heavenliness4 ,heaven is not here nor there nor anywhere4 ,heaven is in the other dimension4 ,in the young1 in the unborn1 this kingdom of ,heaven which was revealed and has passed away1 is established2 of this ,heaven the young and the unborn have their being4 ,and if in us the ,heaven be not revealed1 if there be no transfiguration1 no consummation1 then the infants cry in the night1 in want1 void1 strong want4 ,this is evil1 this desire for constancy1 for fixity in the temporal world4 ,this is the denial of the absolute good1 the revocation of the ,kingdom of ,heaven4 ,we cannot know ,god1 in terms of the permanent1 temporal world2 we cannot4 ,we can only know the revelation of ,god in the physical world4 ,and the revelation of ,god is ,god4 ,but it vanishes as the rainbow4 ,the revelation is a condition in the whole flux of time4 ,when this condition has passed away1 the revelation is no more revealed4 ,it has gone4 ,and then ,god is gone1 except to memory1 a remembering of a critical moment within the flux4 ,but there is no revelation of ,god in memory4 ,memory is not truth4 ,memory is persistence1 perpetuation of a momentary cohesion in the flux4 ,god is gone1 until next time4 ,but the next time will come4 ,and then again we shall see ,god1 and once more1 it will be different4 ,it is always different4 ,and we are all1 now1 living on the stale memory of a revelation of ,god4 ,which is purely a repetitive and temporal thing4 ,but it contains us1 it is our prison4 ,whereas1 there is nothing for a man to do but to behold ,god1 and to become ,god4 ,it is no good living on memory4 ,when the flower opens1 see him1 don't remember him4 ,when the sun shines1 be him1 and then cease again4 ,so we seek war1 death1 to kill this memory within us4 ,we hate this imprisoning memory so much1 we will kill the whole world rather than remain in prison to it4 ,but why do we not create a new revelation of ,god1 instead of seeking merely the destruction of the old revelations8 ,we do this1 because we are cowards4 ,we say 8,the great revelation cannot be destroyed1 but ,i1 who am a failure1 ,i can be destroyed04 ,so we destroy the individual stones rather than decide to pull down the whole edifice4 ,the edifice must stand1 but the individual bricks must sacrifice themselves4 ,so carefully we remove single lives from the edifice1 and we destroy these single lives1 carefully supporting the edifice in the weakened place4 ,and the soldier says3 8,i die for my ,god and my ,country04 ,when1 as a matter of fact1 in his death his ,god and his country are so much destroyed4 ,but we must always lie1 always convert our action to a lie4 ,we know that we are living in a state of falsity1 that all our social and religious form is dead1 a crystallised lie4 ,yet we say3 8,we will die for our social and religious form04 ,in truth1 we proceed to die because the whole frame of our life is a falsity1 and we know that1 if we die sufficiently1 the whole frame and form and edifice will collapse upon itself4 ,but it were much better to pull it down and have a great clear space1 than to have it collapse on top of us4 ,for we shall be like ,samson1 buried among the ruins4 ,and moreover1 if we are like ,samson1 trying to pull the temple down1 we must remember that the next generation will be none the less slaves1 sightless1 in ,gaza1 at the mill4 ,and they will be by no means eager to commit suicide by bringing more temple beams down with a bang on their heads4 ,they will say3 8,it is a very nice temple1 quite weather-tight4 ,what's wrong with it80 ,they will be near enough to extinction to be very canny and cautious about imperilling themselves4 ,no1 if we are to break through1 it must be in the strength of life bubbling inside us4 ,the chicken does not break the shell out of animosity against the shell4 ,it bursts out in its blind desire to move under a greater heavens4 ,and so must we4 ,we must burst out1 and move under a greater heavens4 ,as the chicken bursts out1 and has a whole new universe to get into relationship with4 ,our universe is not much more than a mannerism with us now4 ,if we break through1 we shall find1 that man is not man1 as he seems to be1 nor woman woman4 ,the present seeming is a ridiculous travesty4 ,and even the sun is not the sun as it appears to be4 ,it is something tingling with magnificence4 ,and then starts the one glorious activity of man3 the getting himself into a new relationship with a new heaven and a new earth4 ,oh1 if we knew1 the earth is everything and the sun is everything that we have missed knowing4 ,but if we persist in our attitude of parasites on the body of earth and sun1 the earth and the sun will be mere victims on which we feed our louse-like complacency for a long time yet3 we1 a myriad myriad little egos1 five billion feeding like one4 ,the thing in itself6 ,why ,i never yet met a man who was anything but what he had been told to be4 ,let a man be a man-in-himself1 and then he can begin to talk about the ,ding an ,sich4 ,men may be utterly different from the things they now seem4 ,and then they will behold1 to their astonishment1 that the sun is absolutely different from the thing they now see1 and that they call 8sun04 ,,the ,,novel ,,the ,,novel ,somebody says the novel is doomed4 ,somebody else says it is the green bay tree getting greener4 ,everybody says something1 so why shouldn't ,i6 ,mr4 ,santayana sees the modern novel expiring because it is getting so thin2 which means1 ,mr4 ,santayana is bored4 ,i am rather bored myself4 ,it becomes harder and harder to read the whole of any modern novel4 ,one reads a bit1 and knows the rest2 or else one doesn't want to know any more4 ,this is sad4 ,but again1 ,i don't think it's the novel's fault4 ,rather the novelists'4 ,you can put anything you like in a novel4 ,so why do people always go on putting the same thing8 ,why is the vol au vent always chicken6 ,chicken vol au vents may be the rage4 ,but who sickens first shouts first for something else4 ,the novel is a great discovery3 far greater than ,galileo's telescope or somebody else's wireless4 ,the novel is the highest form of human expression so far attained4 ,why8 ,because it is so incapable of the absolute4 ,in a novel1 everything is relative to everything else1 if that novel is art at all4 ,there may be didactic bits1 but they aren't the novel4 ,and the author may have a didactic 8purpose0 up his sleeve4 ,indeed most great novelists have1 as ,tolstoi had his ,christian-socialism1 and ,hardy his pessimism1 and ,flaubert his intellectual desperation4 ,but even a didactic purpose so wicked as ,tolstoi's or ,flaubert's cannot put to death the novel4 ,you can tell me1 ,flaubert had a 8philosophy01 not a 8purpose04 ,but what is a novelist's philosophy but a purpose on a rather higher level8 ,and since every novelist who amounts to anything has a philosophy--even ,balzac--any novel of importance has a purpose4 ,if only the 8purpose0 be large enough1 and not at outs with the passional inspiration4 ,vronsky sinned1 did he8 ,but also the sinning was a consummation devoutly to be wished4 ,the novel makes that obvious3 in spite of old ,leo ,tolstoi4 ,and the would-be-pious ,prince in ,resurrection is a muff1 with his piety that nobody wants or believes in4 ,there you have the greatness of the novel itself4 ,it won't let you tell didactic lies1 and put them over4 ,nobody in the world is anything but delighted when ,vronsky gets ,anna ,karnina4 ,then what about the sin8--,why1 when you look at it1 all the tragedy comes from ,vronsky's and ,anna's fear of society4 ,the monster was social1 not phallic at all4 ,they couldn't live in the pride of their sincere passion1 and spit in ,mother ,grundy's eye4 ,and that1 that cowardice1 was the real 8sin04 ,the novel makes it obvious1 and knocks all old ,leo's teeth out4 8,as an officer ,i am still useful4 ,but as a man1 ,i am a ruin10 says ,vronsky--or words to that effect4 ,well what a skunk1 collapsing as a man and a male1 and remaining merely as a social instrument2 an 8officer01 ,god love us6--merely because people at the opera turn backs on him6 ,as if people's backs weren't preferable to their faces1 anyhow6 ,and old ,leo tries to make out1 it was all because of the phallic sin4 ,old liar6 ,because where would any of ,leo's books be1 without the phallic splendour8 ,and then to blame the column of blood1 which really gave him all his life riches6 ,the ,judas6 ,cringe to a mangy1 bloodless ,society1 and try to dress up that dirty old ,mother ,grundy in a new bonnet and face-powder of ,christian-,socialism4 ,brothers indeed6 ,sons of a castrated ,father6 ,the novel itself gives ,vronsky a kick in the behind1 and knocks old ,leo's teeth out1 and leaves us to learn4 ,it is such a bore that nearly all great novelists have a didactic purpose1 otherwise a philosophy1 directly opposite to their passional inspiration4 ,in their passional inspiration1 they are all phallic worshippers4 ,from ,balzac to ,hardy1 it is so4 ,nay1 from ,apuleius to ,e4 ,m4 ,forster4 ,yet all of them1 when it comes to their philosophy1 or what they think-they-are1 they are all crucified ,jesuses4 ,what a bore6 ,and what a burden for the novel to carry6 ,but the novel has carried it4 ,several thousands of thousands of lamentable crucifixions of self-heroes and self-heroines4 ,even the silly duplicity of ,resurrection1 and the wickeder duplicity of ,salammb1 with that flayed phallic ,matho1 tortured upon the ,cross of a gilt ,princess4 ,you can't fool the novel4 ,even with man crucified upon a woman3 his 8dear cross04 ,the novel will show you how dear she was3 dear at any price4 ,and it will leave you with a bad taste of disgust against these heroes who turn their women into a 8dear cross01 and ask for their own crucifixion4 ,you can fool pretty nearly every other medium4 ,you can make a poem pietistic1 and still it will be a poem4 ,you can write ,hamlet in drama3 if you wrote him in a novel1 he'd be half comic1 or a trifle suspicious3 a suspicious character1 like ,dostoevsky's ,idiot4 ,somehow1 you sweep the ground a bit too clear in the poem or the drama1 and you let the human ,word fly a bit too freely4 ,now in a novel there's always a tom-cat1 a black tom-cat that pounces on the white dove of the ,word1 if the dove doesn't watch it2 and there is a banana-skin to trip on2 and you know there is a water-closet on the premises4 ,all these things help to keep the balance4 ,if1 in ,plato's ,dialogues1 somebody had suddenly stood on his head and given smooth ,plato a kick in the wind1 and set the whole school in an uproar1 then ,plato would have been put into a much truer relation to the universe4 ,or if1 in the midst of the ,timaeus1 ,plato had only paused to say3 8,and now1 my dear ,cleon--7or whoever it was7--,i have a bellyache1 and must retreat to the privy3 this too is part of the ,eternal ,idea of man01 then we never need have fallen so low as ,freud4 ,and if1 when ,jesus told the rich man to take all he had and give it to the poor1 the rich man had replied3 8,all right1 old sport6 ,you are poor1 aren't you8 ,come on1 ,i'll give you a fortune4 ,come on60 ,then a great deal of snivelling and mistakenness would have been spared us all1 and we might never have produced a ,marx and a ,lenin4 ,if only ,jesus had accepted the fortune6 ,yes1 it's a pity of pities that ,mathew1 ,mark1 ,luke1 and ,john didn't write straight novels4 ,they did write novels2 but a bit crooked4 ,the ,evangels are wonderful novels1 by authors 8with a purpose40 ,pity there's so much ,sermon-on-the-,mounting4 8,mathew1 ,mark1 ,luke1 and ,john ,went to bed with their breeches on60-- as every child knows4 ,ah1 if only they'd taken them off6 ,greater novels1 to my mind1 are the books of the ,old ,testament1 ,genesis1 ,exodus1 ,samuel1 ,kings1 by authors whose purpose was so big1 it didn't quarrel with their passionate inspiration4 ,the purpose and the inspiration were almost one4 ,why1 in the name of everything bad1 the two ever should have got separated1 is a mystery6 ,but in the modern novel they are hopelessly divorced4 ,when there is any inspiration there1 to be divorced from4 ,this1 then1 is what is the matter with the modern novel4 ,the modern novelist is possessed1 hag-ridden1 by such a stale old 8purpose01 or idea-of-himself1 that his inspiration succumbs4 ,of course he denies having any didactic purpose at all3 because a purpose is supposed to be like catarrh1 something to be ashamed of4 ,but he's got it4 ,they've all got it3 the same snivelling purpose4 ,they're all little ,jesuses in their own eyes1 and their 8purpose0 is to prove it4 ,oh ,lord6--,lord ,jim6 ,sylvestre ,bonnard6 ,if ,winter ,comes6 ,main ,street6 ,ulysses6 ,pan6 ,they are all pathetic or sympathetic or antipathetic little ,jesuses accomplis or manqus4 ,and there is a heroine who is always 8pure01 usually1 nowadays1 on the muck-heap6 ,like the ,green ,hatted ,woman4 ,she is all the time at the feet of ,jesus1 though her behaviour there may be misleading4 ,heaven knows what the ,saviour really makes of it3 whether she's a ,green ,hat or a ,constant ,nymph 7eighteen months of constancy1 and her heart failed71 or any of the rest of 'em4 ,they are all1 heroes and heroines1 novelists and she-novelists1 little ,jesuses or ,jesusesses4 ,they may be wallowing in the mire3 but then didn't ,jesus harrow ,hell6 ,a la bonne heure6 ,oh1 they are all novelists with an idea of themselves6 ,which is a 8purpose01 with a vengeance6 ,for what a weary1 false1 sickening idea it is nowadays6 ,the novel gives them away4 ,they can't fool the novel4 ,now really1 it's time we left off insulting the novel any further4 ,if your purpose is to prove your own ,jesus qualifications1 and the thin stream of your inspiration is 8sin01 then dry up1 for the interest is dead4 ,life as it is6 ,what's the good of pretending that the lives of a set of tuppenny ,green ,hats and ,constant ,nymphs is ,life-as-it-is1 when the novel itself proves that all it amounts to is life as it is isn't life1 but a sort of everlasting and intricate and boring habit3 of ,jesus peccant and ,jesusa peccante4 ,these wearisome sickening little personal novels6 ,after all1 they aren't novels at all4 ,in every great novel1 who is the hero all the time8 ,not any of the characters1 but some unnamed and nameless flame behind them all4 ,just as ,god is the pivotal interest in the books of the ,old ,testament4 ,but just a trifle too intimate1 too frre et cochon1 there4 ,in the great novel1 the felt but unknown flame stands behind all the characters1 and in their words and gestures there is a flicker of the presence4 ,if you are too personal1 too human1 the flicker fades out1 leaving you with something awfully lifelike1 and as lifeless as most people are4 ,we have to choose between the quick and the dead4 ,the quick is ,god-flame1 in everything4 ,and the dead is dead4 ,in this room where ,i write1 there is a little table that is dead3 it doesn't even weakly exist4 ,and there is a ridiculous little iron stove1 which for some unknown reason is quick4 ,and there is an iron wardrobe trunk1 which for some still more mysterious reason is quick4 ,and there are several books1 whose mere corpus is dead1 utterly dead and non-existent4 ,and there is a sleeping cat1 very quick4 ,and a glass lamp1 that1 alas1 is dead4 ,what makes the difference8 ,quien sabe6 ,but difference there is4 ,and ,i know it4 ,and the sum and source of all quickness1 we will call ,god4 ,and the sum and total of all deadness we may call human4 ,and if one tries to find out1 wherein the quickness of the quick lies1 it is in a certain weird relationship between that which is quick and--,i don't know2 perhaps all the rest of things4 ,it seems to consist in an odd sort of fluid1 changing1 grotesque or beautiful relatedness4 ,that silly iron stove somehow belongs4 ,whereas this thin-shanked table doesn't belong4 ,it is a mere disconnected lump1 like a cut-off finger4 ,and now we see the great1 great merits of the novel4 ,it can't exist without being 8quick04 ,the ordinary unquick novel1 even if it be a best seller1 disappears into absolute nothingness1 the dead burying their dead with surprising speed4 ,for even the dead like to be tickled4 ,but the next minute1 they've forgotten both the tickling and the tickler4 ,secondly1 the novel contains no didactive absolute4 ,all that is quick1 and all that is said and done by the quick1 is1 in some way godly4 ,so that ,vronsky's taking ,anna ,karnina we must count godly1 since it is quick4 ,and that ,prince in ,resurrection1 following the convict girl1 we must count dead4 ,the convict train is quick and alive4 ,but that would-be-expiatory ,prince is as dead as lumber4 ,the novel itself lays down these laws for us1 and we spend our time evading them4 ,the man in the novel must be 8quick04 ,and this means one thing1 among a host of unknown meaning3 it means he must have a quick relatedness to all the other things in the novel3 snow1 bed-bugs1 sunshine1 the phallus1 trains1 silk-hats1 cats1 sorrow1 people1 food1 diphtheria1 fuchsias1 stars1 ideas1 ,god1 tooth-paste1 lightning1 and toilet-paper4 ,he must be in quick relation to all these things4 ,what he says and does must be relative to them all4 ,and this is why ,pierre1 for example1 in ,war and ,peace1 is more dull and less quick than ,prince ,andr4 ,pierre is quite nicely related to ideas1 tooth-paste1 ,god1 people1 foods1 trains1 silk-hats1 sorrow1 diphtheria1 stars4 ,but his relation to snow and sunshine1 cats1 lightning and the phallus1 fuchsias and toilet-paper1 is sluggish and mussy4 ,he's not quick enough4 ,the really quick1 ,tolstoi loved to kill them off or muss them over4 ,like a true ,bolshevist4 ,one can't help feeling ,natasha is rather mussy and unfresh1 married to that ,pierre4 ,pierre was what we call1 8so human04 ,which means1 8so limited04 ,men clotting together into social masses in order to limit their individual liabilities3 this is humanity4 ,and this is ,pierre4 ,and this is ,tolstoi1 the philosopher with a very nauseating ,christian-brotherhood idea of himself4 ,why limit man to a ,christian-brotherhood8 ,i myself1 ,i could belong to the sweetest ,christian-brotherhood one day1 and ride after ,attila with a raw beefsteak for my saddle-cloth1 to see the red cock crow in flame over all ,christendom1 next day4 ,and that is man6 ,that1 really1 was ,tolstoi4 ,that1 even1 was ,lenin1 ,god in the machine of ,christian-brotherhood1 that hashes men up into social sausage-meat4 ,damn all absolutes4 ,oh damn1 damn1 damn all absolutes6 ,i tell you1 no absolute is going to make the lion lie down with the lamb3 unless1 like the limerick1 the lamb is inside4 8,they returned from the ride ,with lamb ,leo inside ,and a smile on the face of the tiger6 ,sing fol-di-lol-lol6 ,fol-di-lol-lol6 ,fol-di-lol-ol-di-lol-olly60 ,for man1 there is neither absolute nor absolution4 ,such things should be left to monsters like the right-angled triangle1 which does only exist in the ideal consciousness4 ,a man can't have a square on his hypotenuse1 let him try as he may4 ,ay6 ,ay6 ,ay6--,man handing out absolutes to man1 as if we were all books of geometry with axioms1 postulates and definitions in front4 ,god with a pair of compasses6 ,moses with a set square6 ,man a geometric bifurcation1 not even a radish6 ,holy ,moses6 8,honour thy father and thy mother60 ,that's awfully cute6 ,but supposing they are not honorable8 ,how then1 ,moses8 ,voice of thunder from ,sinai3 8,pretend to honour them60 8,love thy neighbour as thyself40 ,alas1 my neighbour happens to be mean and detestable4 ,voice of the lambent ,dove1 cooing3 8,put it over him1 that you love him40 ,talk about the cunning of serpents6 ,i never saw even a serpent kissing his instinctive enemy4 ,pfui6 ,i wouldn't blacken my mouth1 kissing my neighbour1 who1 ,i repeat1 to me is mean and detestable4 ,dove1 go home6 ,the ,goat and ,compasses1 indeed6 ,everything is relative4 ,every ,commandment that ever issued out of the mouth of ,god or man1 is strictly relative3 adhering to the particular time1 place and circumstance4 ,and this is the beauty of the novel2 everything is true in its own relationship1 and no further4 ,for the relatedness and interrelatedness of all things flows and changes and trembles like a stream1 and like a fish in the stream the characters in the novel swim and drift and float and turn belly-up when they're dead4 ,so1 if a character in a novel wants two wives--or three--or thirty3 well1 that is true of that man1 at that time1 in that circumstance4 ,it may be true of other men1 elsewhere and elsewhen4 ,but to infer that all men at all times want two1 three1 or thirty wives2 or that the novelist himself is advocating furious polygamy2 is just imbecility4 ,it has been just as imbecile to infer that1 because ,dante worshipped a remote ,beatrice1 every man1 all men1 should go worshipping remote ,beatrices4 ,and that wouldn't have been so bad1 if ,dante had put the thing in its true light4 ,why do we slur over the actual fact that ,dante had a cosy bifurcated wife in his bed1 and a family of lusty little ,dantinos8 ,petrarch1 with his ,laura in the distance1 had twelve little legitimate ,petrarchs of his own1 between his knees4 ,yet all we hear is ,laura6 ,laura6 ,beatrice6 ,beatrice6 ,distance6 ,distance6 ,what bunk6 ,why didn't ,dante and ,petrarch chant in chorus3 ,oh be my spiritual concubine ,beatrice6 ,laura6 ,my old girl's got several babies that are mine1 ,but thou be my spiritual concubine1 ,beatrice6 ,laura6 ,then there would have been an honest relation between all the bunch4 ,nobody grudges the gents their spiritual concubines4 ,but keeping a wife and family--twelve children--up one's sleeve1 has always been recognised as a dirty trick4 ,which reveals how immoral the absolute is6 ,invariably keeping some vital fact dark6 ,dishonorable6 ,here we come upon the third essential quality of the novel4 ,unlike the essay1 the poem1 the drama1 the book of philosophy1 or the scientific treatise3 all of which may beg the question1 when they don't downright filch it2 the novel inherently is and must be3 #a4 ,quick4 #b4 ,interrelated in all its parts1 vitally1 organically4 #c4 ,honorable4 ,i call ,dante's ,commedia slightly dishonorable1 with never a mention of the cosy bifurcated wife1 and the kids4 ,and ,war and ,peace ,i call downright dishonorable1 with that fat1 diluted ,pierre for a hero1 stuck up as preferable and desirable1 when everybody knows that he wasn't attractive1 even to ,tolstoi4 ,of course ,tolstoi1 being a great creative artist1 was true to his characters4 ,but being a man with a philosophy1 he wasn't true to his own character4 ,character is a curious thing4 ,it is the flame of a man1 which burns brighter or dimmer1 bluer or yellower or redder1 rising or sinking or flaring according to the draughts of circumstance and the changing air of life1 changing itself continually1 yet remaining one single1 separate flame1 flickering in a strange world3 unless it be blown out at last by too much adversity4 ,if ,tolstoi had looked into the flame of his own belly1 he would have seen that he didn't really like the fat1 fuzzy ,pierre1 who was a poor tool1 after all4 ,but ,tolstoi was a personality even more than a character4 ,and a personality is a self-conscious ,i am3 being all that is left in us of a once-almighty ,personal ,god4 ,so being a personality and an almighty ,i am1 ,leo proceeded deliberately to lionise that ,pierre1 who was a domestic sort of house-dog4 ,doesn't anybody call that dishonorable on ,leo's part8 ,he might just as well have been true to himself6 ,but no6 ,his self-conscious personality was superior to his own belly and knees1 so he thought he'd improve on himself1 by creeping inside the skin of a lamb2 the doddering old lion that he was6 ,leo6 ,lon6 ,secretly1 ,leo worshipped the human male1 man as a column of rapacious and living blood4 ,he could hardly meet three lusty1 roisterous young guardsmen in the street1 without crying with envy3 and ten minutes later1 fulminating on them black oblivion and annihilation1 utmost moral thunder-bolts4 ,how boring1 in a great man6 ,and how boring1 in a great nation like ,russia1 to let its old-,adam manhood be so improved upon by these reformers1 who all feel themselves short of something1 and therefore live by spite1 that at last there's nothing left but a lot of shells of men1 improving themselves steadily emptier and emptier1 till they rattle with words and formulae1 as if they'd swallowed the whole encyclopdia of socialism4 ,but wait6 ,there is life in the ,russians4 ,something new and strange will emerge out of their weird transmogrification into ,bolshevists4 ,when the lion swallows the lamb1 fluff and all1 he usually gets a pain1 and there's a rumpus4 ,but when the lion tries to force himself down the throat of the huge and popular lamb--a nasty old sheep1 really--then it's a phenomenon4 ,old ,leo did it3 wedged himself bit by bit down the throat of wooly ,russia4 ,and now out of the mouth of the bolshevist lambkin still waves an angry1 mistaken1 tufted leonine tail1 like an agitated exclamation mark4 ,meanwhile it's a deadlock4 ,but what a dishonorable thing for that claw-biting little ,leo to do6 ,and in his novels you see him at it4 ,so that the papery lips of ,resurrection whisper3 8,alas6 ,i would have been a novel4 ,but ,leo spoiled me40 ,count ,tolstoi had that last weakness of a great man3 he wanted the absolute3 the absolute of love1 if you like to call it that4 ,talk about the 8last infirmity of noble minds06 ,it's a perfect epidemic of senility4 ,he wanted to be absolute3 a universal brother4 ,leo was too tight for ,tolstoi4 ,he wanted to puff1 and puff1 and puff1 till he became ,universal ,brotherhood itself1 the great gooseberry of our globe4 ,then pop went ,leo6 ,and from the bits sprang up bolshevists4 ,it's all bunk4 ,no man can be absolute4 ,no man can be absolutely good or absolutely right1 nor absolutely lovable1 nor absolutely beloved1 nor absolutely loving4 ,even ,jesus1 the paragon1 was only relatively good and relatively right4 ,judas could take him by the nose4 ,no god1 that men can conceive of1 could possibly be absolute or absolutely right4 ,all the gods that men ever discovered are still ,god3 and they contradict one another and fly down one another's throats1 marvellously4 ,yet they are all ,god3 the incalculable ,pan4 ,it is rather nice1 to know what a lot of gods there are2 and have been1 and will be1 and that they are all of them ,god all the while4 ,each of them utters an absolute3 which1 in the ears of all the rest of them1 falls flat4 ,this makes even eternity lively4 ,but man1 poor man1 bobbing like a cork in the stream of time1 must hitch himself to some absolute star of righteousness overhead4 ,so he throws out his line1 and hooks on4 ,only to find1 after a while1 that his star is slowly falling3 till it drops into the stream of time with a fizzle1 and there's another absolute star gone out4 ,then we scan the heavens afresh4 ,as for the babe of love1 we're simply tired of changing its napkins4 ,put the brat down1 and let it learn to run about1 and manage its own little breeches4 ,but it's nice to think that all the gods are ,god all the while4 ,and if a god only genuinely feels to you like ,god1 then it is ,god4 ,but if it doesn't feel quite1 quite altogether like ,god to you1 then wait awhile1 and you'll hear him fizzle4 ,the novel knows all this1 irrevocably4 8,my dear10 it kindly says1 8one ,god is relative to another god1 until he gets into a machine2 and then it's a case for the traffic cop60 8,but what am ,i to do60 cries the despairing novelist4 8,from ,amon and ,ra to ,mrs4 ,eddy1 from ,ashtaroth and ,jupiter to ,annie ,besant1 ,i don't know where ,i am40 8,oh yes you do1 my dear60 replies the novel4 8,you are where you are1 so you needn't hitch yourself on to the skirts either of ,ashtaroth or ,eddy4 ,if you meet them1 say how-do-you-do6 to them quite courteously4 ,but don't hook on1 or ,i shall turn you down40 8,refrain from hooking on60 says the novel4 8,but be honorable among the host60 he adds4 ,honour6 ,why1 the gods are like the rainbow1 all colours and shades4 ,since light itself is invisible1 a manifestation has got to be pink or black or blue or white or yellow or vermilion1 or 8tinted04 ,you may be a theosophist1 and then you will cry3 ,avaunt6 ,thou dark-red aura6 ,away666--,oh come6 ,thou pale-blue or thou primrose aura1 come6 ,this you may cry if you are a theosophist4 ,and if you put a theosophist in a novel1 he or she may cry avaunt6 to the heart's content4 ,but a theosophist cannot be a novelist1 as a trumpet cannot be a regimental band4 ,a theosophist1 or a ,christian1 or a ,holy ,roller1 may be contained in a novelist4 ,but a novelist may not put up a fence4 ,the wind bloweth where it listeth1 and auras will be red when they want to4 ,as a matter of fact1 only the ,holy ,ghost knows truly what righteousness is4 ,and heaven only knows what the ,holy ,ghost is6 ,but it sounds all right4 ,so the ,holy ,ghost hovers among the flames1 from the red to the blue and the black to the yellow1 putting brand to brand and flame to flame1 as the wind changes1 and life travels in flame from the unseen to the unseen1 men will never know how or why4 ,only travel it must1 and not die down in nasty fumes4 ,and the honour1 which the novel demands of you1 is only that you shall be true to the flame that leaps in you4 ,when that ,prince in ,resurrection so cruelly betrayed and abandoned the girl1 at the beginning of her life1 he betrayed and wetted on the flame of his own manhood4 ,when1 later1 he bullied her with his repentant benevolence1 he again betrayed and slobbered upon the flame of his waning manhood1 till in the end his manhood is extinct1 and he's just a lump of half-alive elderly meat4 ,it's the oldest ,pan-mystery4 ,god is the flame-life in all the universe2 multifarious1 multifarious flames1 all colours and beauties and pains and sombrenesses4 ,whichever flame flames in your manhood1 that is you1 for the time being4 ,it is your manhood1 don't make water on it1 says the novel4 ,a man's manhood is to honour the flames in him1 and to know that none of them is absolute3 even a flame is only relative4 ,but see old ,leo ,tolstoi wetting on the flame4 ,as if even his wet were absolute6 ,sex is flame1 too1 the novel announces4 ,flame burning against every absolute1 even against the phallic4 ,for sex is so much more than phallic1 and so much deeper than functional desire4 ,the flame of sex singes your absolute1 and cruelly scorches your ego4 ,what1 will you assert your ego in the universe8 ,wait till the flames of sex leap at you like striped tigers4 8,they returned from the ride ,with the lady inside1 ,and a smile on the face of the tiger40 ,you will play with sex1 will you6 ,you will tickle yourself with sex as with an ice-cold drink from a soda-fountain6 ,you will pet your best girl1 will you1 and spoon with her1 and titillate yourself and her1 and do as you like with your sex8 ,wait6 ,only wait till the flame you have dribbled on flies back at you1 later6 ,only wait6 ,sex is a life-flame1 a dark one1 reserved and mostly invisible4 ,it is a deep reserve in a man1 one of the core-flames of his manhood4 ,what1 would you play with it8 ,would you make it cheap and nasty6 ,buy a king-cobra1 and try playing with that4 ,sex is even a majestic reserve in the sun4 ,oh1 give me the novel6 ,let me hear what the novel says4 ,as for the novelist1 he is usually a dribbling liar4 ,,him ,,with ,,his ,,tail ,,in ,,his ,,mouth ,,him ,,with ,,his ,,tail ,,in ,,his ,,mouth ,answer a fool according to his folly1 philosophy ditto4 ,solemnity is a sign of fraud4 ,religion and philosophy both have the same dual purpose3 to get at the beginning of things1 and at the goal of things4 ,they have both decided that the serpent has got his tail in his mouth1 and that the end is one with the beginning4 ,it seems to me time someone gave that serpent of eternity another dummy to suck4 ,they've all decided that the beginning of all things is the life-stream itself1 energy1 ether1 libido1 not to mention the ,sanskrit joys of ,purusha1 ,pradhana1 ,kala4 ,having postulated the serpent of the beginning1 now see all the heroes from ,moses and ,plato to ,bergson1 wrestling with him might and main1 to push his tail into his mouth4 ,jehovah creates man in his ,own ,image1 according to ,his ,own ,will4 ,if man behaves according to the ready-made ,will of ,god1 formulated in a bunch of somewhat unsavoury commandments1 then lucky man will be received into the bosom of ,jehovah4 ,man isn't very keen4 ,and that is ,sin1 original and perpetual4 ,then ,plato discovers how lovely the intellectual idea is3 in fact1 the only perfection is ideal4 ,but the old dragon of creation1 who fathered us all1 didn't have an idea in his head4 ,plato was prepared4 ,he popped the ,logos into the mouth of the dragon1 and the serpent of eternity was rounded off4 ,the old dragon1 ugly and venomous1 wore yet the precious jewel of the ,platonic idea in his head4 ,unable to find the dragon wholesale1 modern philosophy sets up a retail shop4 ,you can't lay salt on the old scoundrel's tail1 because1 of course1 he's got it in his mouth1 according to postulate4 ,he doesn't seem to be sprawling in his old lair1 across the heavens4 ,in fact1 he appears to have vamoosed4 ,perhaps1 instead of being one big old boy1 he is really an infinite number of little tiny boys3 atoms1 electrons1 units of force or energy1 tiny little birds all spinning with their tails in their beaks4 ,just the same in detail as in the gross4 ,nothing will come out of the egg that isn't in it4 ,evolution sings away at the same old song4 ,out of the amba1 or some such old-fashioned entity1 the dragon of evolved life stretches himself enormous and more enormous1 only1 at last1 to return each time1 and put his tail into his own mouth1 and be an amba once more4 ,the amba1 or the electron1 or whatever it may lately be--the rose would be just as scentless--is the constant1 from which all manifest living creation starts out1 and to which it all returns4 ,there was a time when man was not1 nor monkey1 nor cow1 not catfish4 ,but the amba 7or the electron1 or the atom1 or whatever it is7 always was and always will be4 ,boom6 tiddy-ra-ta6 ,boom6 ,boom6 tiddy-ra-ta6 ,boom6 ,how do you know8 ,how does anyone know1 what always was or wasn't8 ,bunk of geology1 and strata1 and all that1 biology or evolution4 8,one1 two1 three four five1 ,catch a little fish alive4 ,six1 seven1 eight nine ten1 ,i have let him go again44440 ,bunk of beginnings and of ends1 and heads and tails4 ,why does man always want to know so damned much8 ,or rather1 so damned little8 ,if he can't draw a ring round creation1 and fasten the serpent's tail into its mouth with the padlock of one final clinching idea1 then creation can go to hell1 as far as man is concerned4 ,there is such a thing as life1 or life energy4 ,we know1 because we've got it1 or had it4 ,it isn't a constant4 ,it comes and it goes4 ,but we want it4 ,this ,i think is incontestable4 ,more than anything else in the world1 we want to have life1 and life-energy abundant in us4 ,we think if we eat yeast1 vitamines and proteids1 we're sure of it4 ,we're had4 ,we diddle ourselves for the million millionth time4 ,what we want is life1 and life-energy inside us4 ,where it comes from1 or what it is1 we don't know1 and never shall4 ,it is the capital ,x of all our knowledge4 ,but we want it1 we must have it4 ,it is the all in all4 ,this we know1 now1 for good and all3 that which is good1 and moral1 is that which brings into us a stronger1 deeper flow of life and life-energy3 evil is that which impairs the life-flow4 ,but man's difficulty is1 that he can't have life for the asking4 8,he asked life of ,thee1 and ,thou gavest it him3 even length of days for ever and ever40 ,there's a pretty motto for the tomb6 ,it isn't length of days for ever and ever that a man wants4 ,it is strong life within himself1 while he lives4 ,but how to get it8 ,you may be as healthy as a cow1 and yet have fear inside you1 because your life is not enough4 ,we know1 really1 that we can't have life for the asking1 nor find it by seeking1 nor get it by striving4 ,the river flows into us from behind and below4 ,we must turn our backs to it1 and go ahead4 ,the faster we go ahead1 the stronger the river rushes into us4 ,the moment we turn round to embrace the river of life1 it ebbs away1 and we see nothing but a stony fiumara4 ,we must go ahead4 ,but which way is ahead8 ,we don't know4 ,we only know that1 continuing in the way we are going1 the river of life flows feebler and feebler in us1 and we lose all sense of vital direction4 ,we begin to talk about vitamines4 ,we become idiotic4 ,we cunningly prepare our own suicide4 ,this is the philosophic problem3 to find the way ahead4 ,allons6--there is no road before us4 ,plato said that ahead1 ahead was the perfect ,idea1 gleaming in the brow of the dragon4 ,we have pretty well caught up with the perfect ,idea1 and we find it a sort of vast1 white1 polished tomb-stone4 ,if the mouth of the serpent is the open grave1 into which the tail disappears1 then three cheers for the ,logos1 and down she goes4 ,we children of a later ,pa1 know that ,life is real1 ,life is earnest1 and the ,grave is not its ,goal4 ,let us side-step4 ,all goals become graves4 ,every goal is a grave1 when you get there4 ,well1 ,i came out of an egg-cell1 like an amba1 and ,i go into the grave4 ,i can't help it4 ,it's not my fault1 and it's not my business4 ,i don't want eternal life1 nor length of days for ever and ever4 ,nothing so long drawn out4 ,i give up all that sort of stuff4 ,yet while ,i live1 ,i want to live4 ,death1 no doubt1 solves its own problems4 ,let ,life solve the problem of living4 8,teach me to live that so ,i may ,rise glorious at the ,judgment ,day40 ,i have no desire to rise glorious at any ,judgment ,day1 when the serpent finally chokes himself with his own tail4 8,teach me to live that ,i may ,go gaily on from day to day40 ,nay1 in all the world1 ,i feel the life-urge weakening4 ,it may be1 there are too many people alive4 ,i feel it is1 because there is too much automatic consciousness and self-consciousness in the world4 ,we can't live by loving life1 alone4 ,life is like a capricious mistress3 the more you woo her the more she despises you4 ,you have to get up and go to something more interesting4 ,then she'll pelt after you4 ,life is the river1 darkly sparkling1 that enters into us from behind1 when we set our faces towards the unknown4 ,towards some goal666 ,but there is no eternal goal4 ,every attempt to find an eternal goal puts the tail of the serpent into his mouth again1 whereby he chokes himself in one more last gasp4 ,what is there then1 if there is no eternal goal8 ,by itself1 the river of life just gets nowhere4 ,it sinks into the sand4 ,the river of life follows the living4 ,if the living don't get anywhere1 the river of life doesn't4 ,the old serpent lays him down and goes into a torpor1 instead of dancing at our heels and sending the life-sparks up our legs and spine1 as we travel4 ,so we've got to get somewhere4 ,is there no goal8 8,oh man6 on your four legs1 your two1 and your three1 where are you going80--says the ,sphinx4 8,i'm just going to say ,how-do-you-do8 to ,susan10 replies the man4 ,and he passes without a scratch4 ,when the cock crows1 he says 8,how-do-you-do80 8,how-do-you-do ,peter8 ,how-do-you-do8 old liar60 8,how-do-you-do1 ,oh ,sun60 ,a challenge and a greeting4 ,we live in a multiple universe4 ,i am a chick that absolutely refuses to chirp inside the monistic egg4 ,see me walk forth1 with a bit of egg-shell sticking to my tail6 ,when the cuckoo1 the cow1 and the coffee-plant chipped the ,mundane ,egg1 at various points1 they stepped out1 and immediately set off in different directions4 ,not different directions of space and time1 but different directions in creation3 within the fourth dimension4 ,the cuckoo went cuckoo-wards1 the cow went cow-wise1 and the coffee-plant started coffing4 ,three very distinct roads across the fourth dimension4 ,the cow was dumb1 and the cuckoo too4 ,they went their ways1 as creatures do1 ,till they chanced to meet1 in the ,lord's green ,zoo4 ,the bird gave a cluck1 the cow gave a coo1 ,at the sight of each other the pair of them flew ,into tantrums1 and started their hullabaloo4 ,they startled creation2 and when they were through ,each said to the other3 till ,i came across you ,i wasn't aware of the things ,i could do6 ,cuckoo6 ,moo6 ,cuckoo6 ,and this1 ,i hold1 is the true history of evolution4 ,the ,greeks made equilibrium their goal4 ,equilibrium is hardly a goal to travel towards4 ,yet it's something to attain4 ,you travel in the fourth dimension1 not in yards and miles1 like the eternal serpent4 ,equilibrium argues either a dualistic or a pluralistic universe4 ,the ,greeks1 being sane1 were pantheists and pluralists1 and so am ,i4 ,creation is a fourth dimension1 and in it there are all sorts of things1 gods and what-not4 ,that brown hen1 scratching with her hind leg in such common fashion1 is a sort of goddess in the creative dimension4 ,of course1 if you stay outside the fourth dimension1 and try to measure creation in length1 breadth and height1 you've set yourself the difficult task of measuring up the ,monad1 the ,mundane ,egg4 ,which is a game1 like any other4 ,the solution is1 of course 7let me whisper73 put his tail in his mouth6 ,once you realise that1 willy nilly1 you're inside the ,monad1 you give it up4 ,you're inside it and you always will be4 ,therefore1 ,jonah1 sit still in the whale's belly1 and have a look round4 ,for you'll never measure the whale1 since you're inside him4 ,and then you see it's a fourth dimension1 with all sorts of gods and goddesses in it4 ,that brown hen1 who1 being a ,rhode ,island ,red1 is big and stuffy like plush-upholstery1 is of course1 a goddess in her own rights4 ,if ,i myself had to make a poem to her1 ,i should begin3 ,oh my flat-footed plush armchair ,so commonly scratching in the yard--6 ,but this poem would only reveal my own limitations4 ,because ,flat-foot is the favourite of the white leghorn cock1 and he shakes the tid-bit for her with a most wooing noise1 and when she lays an egg1 he bristles like a double white poppy1 and rushes to meet her1 as she flounders down from the chicken-house1 and his echo of her ,i've-laid-an-egg cackle is rich and resonant4 ,every pine-tree on the mountains hears him3 ,she's laid an egg6 ,i've ,she's laid an egg6 ,i've ,and his poem would be3 8,oh you who make me feel so good1 when you sit next me on the perch ,at night6 7temporarily1 of course67 ,oh you who make my feathers bristle with the vanity of life6 ,oh you whose cackle makes my throat go off like a rocket6 ,oh you who walk so slowly1 and make me feel swifter ,than my boss6 ,oh you who bend your head down1 and move in the under ,circle1 while ,i prance in the upper6 ,oh you1 come6 come6 come6 for here is a bit of fat from ,the roast veal2 ,i am shaking it for you40 ,in the fourth dimension1 in the creative world1 we live in a pluralistic universe1 full of gods and strange gods and unknown gods2 a universe where that ,rhode ,island ,red hen is a goddess in her own right and the white cock is a god indisputable1 with a little red ring on his leg3 which the boss put there4 ,why8 ,why1 ,i mean1 is he a god8 ,because he is something that nothing else is4 ,certainly he is something that ,i am not4 ,and she is something that neither he is nor ,i am4 ,when she scratches and finds a bug in the earth1 she seems fairly to gobble down the monad of all monads2 and when she lays1 she certainly thinks she's put the ,mundane ,egg in the nest4 ,just part of her naive nature6 ,as for the goal1 which doesn't exist1 but which we are always coming back to3 well1 it doesn't spatially1 or temporally1 or eternally exist3 but in the fourth dimension1 it does4 ,what the ,greeks called equilibrium3 what ,i call relationship4 ,equilibrium is just a bit mechanical4 ,it became very mechanical with the ,greeks3 an intellectual nail put through it4 ,i don't want to be 8good0 or 8righteous0--and ,i won't even be 8virtuous01 unless 8vir0 means a man1 and 8vis0 means the life-river4 ,but ,i do want to be alive4 ,and to be alive1 ,i must have a goal in the creative1 not the spatial universe4 ,i want1 in the ,greek sense1 an equilibrium between me and the rest of the universe4 ,that is1 ,i want a relationship between me and the brown hen4 ,the ,greek equilibrium took too much for granted4 ,the ,greek never asked the brown hen1 nor the horse1 nor the swan1 if it would kindly be equilibrated with him4 ,he took it for granted that hen and horse would be only too delighted4 ,you can't take it for granted4 ,that brown hen is extraordinarily callous to my god-like presence4 ,she doesn't even choose to know me to nod to4 ,if ,i've got to strike a balance between us1 ,i've got to work at it4 ,but that is what ,i want3 that she shall nod to me1 with a 8,howdy60--and ,i shall nod to her1 more politely3 8,how-do-you-do1 ,flat-foot80 ,and between us there shall exist the third thing1 the connaissance4 ,that is the goal4 ,i shall not betray myself nor my own life-passion for her4 ,when she walks into my bedroom and makes droppings in my shoes1 ,i shall chase her with disgust1 and she will flutter and squawk4 ,and ,i shall not ask her to be human for my sake4 ,that is the mistake the ,greeks made4 ,they talked about equilibrium1 and then1 when they wanted to equilibrate themselves with a horse1 or an ox1 or an acanthus1 then horse1 ox1 and acanthus had to become nine-tenths human1 to accommodate them4 ,call that equilibrium8 ,as a matter of fact1 we don't call it equilibrium1 we call it anthropomorphism4 ,and anthropomorphism is a bore4 ,too much anthropos makes the world a dull hole4 ,so ,greek sculpture tends to become a bore4 ,if it's a horse1 it's an anthropomorphised horse4 ,if it's a ,praxiteles ,hermes1 it's a ,hermes so ,praxitelised1 that it begins sugarily to bore us4 ,equilibrium1 in its very best sense--in the sense the ,greeks originally meant it--stands for the strange spark that flies between two creatures1 two things that are equilibrated1 or in living relationship4 ,it is a goal3 to come to that state when the spark will fly from me to ,flat-foot1 the brown hen1 and from her to me4 ,i shall leave off addressing her3 8,oh my flat-footed plush arm-chair60 ,i realise that is only impertinent anthropomorphism on my part4 ,she might as well address me3 8,oh my skin-flappy split pole60 ,which would be like her impudence4 ,skin-flappy1 of course1 would refer to my blue shirt and baggy cord trousers4 ,how would she know ,i don't grow them like a loose skin6 ,in the early ,greeks1 the spark between man and man1 stranger and stranger1 man and woman1 stranger and strangeress1 was alive and vivid4 ,even those ,doric ,apollos4 ,in the ,egyptians1 the spark between man and the living universe remains alight for ever in those early1 silent1 motionless statues of ,pharaohs4 ,they say1 it is the statue of the soul of the man4 ,but what is the soul of a man1 except that in him which is himself alone1 suspended in immediate relationship to the sum of things8 ,not isolated or cut off4 ,the ,greeks began the cutting apart business4 ,and ,rodin's remerging was only an intellectual tacking on again4 ,the serpent hasn't got his tail in his mouth4 ,he is on the alert1 with lifted head like a listening1 sparky flower4 ,the ,egyptians knew4 ,but when the oldest ,egyptians carve a hawk or a ,sekhet-cat1 or paint birds or oxen or people3 and when the ,assyrians carve a she-lion3 and when the cave-men drew the charging bison1 or the reindeer1 in the caves of ,altamira3 or when the ,hindoo paints geese or elephants or lotus in the great caves of ,india whose name ,i forget--,ajanta6--then how marvellous it is6 ,how marvellous is the living relationship between man and his object6 be it man or woman1 bird1 beast1 flower or rock or rain3 the exquisite frail moment of pure conjunction1 which1 in the fourth dimension1 is timeless4 ,an ,egyptian hawk1 a ,chinese painting of a camel1 an ,assyrian sculpture of a lion1 an ,african fetish idol of a woman pregnant1 an ,aztec rattlesnake1 an early ,greek ,apollo1 a cave-man's paintings of a ,pre-historic mammoth1 on and on1 how perfect the timeless moments between man and the other ,pan-creatures of this earth of ours6 ,and by the way1 speaking of cave-men1 how did those prognathous semi-apes of ,altamira come to depict so delicately1 so beautifully1 a female bison charging1 with swinging udder1 or deer stooping feeding1 or an antediluvian mammoth deep in contemplation4 ,it is art on a pure1 high level1 beautiful as ,plato1 far1 far more 8civilized0 than ,burne ,jones4 ,hadn't somebody better write ,mr4 ,wells' ,history backwards1 to prove how we've degenerated1 in our stupid visionlessness1 since the cave-men8 ,the pictures in the cave represent moments of purity which are the quick of civilization4 ,the pure relation between the cave-man and the deer3 fifty per-cent4 man1 and fifty per-cent4 bison1 or mammoth1 or deer4 ,it is not ninety-nine per-cent4 man1 and one per-cent4 horse3 as in a ,raphael horse4 ,or hundred per-cent4 fool1 as when ,f4 ,g4 ,watts sculpts a bronze horse and calls it ,physical ,energy4 ,if it is to be life1 then it is fifty per-cent4 me1 fifty per-cent4 thee3 and the third thing1 the spark1 which springs from out of the balance1 is timeless4 ,jesus1 who saw it a bit vaguely1 called it the ,holy ,ghost4 ,between man and woman1 fifty per-cent4 man and fifty per-cent4 woman3 then the pure spark4 ,either this1 or less than nothing4 ,as for ideal relationships1 and pure love1 you might as well start to water tin pansies with carbolic acid 7which is pure enough1 in the antiseptic sense7 in order to get the ,garden of ,paradise4 ,,blessed ,,are ,,the ,,powerful ,,blessed ,,are ,,the ,,powerful ,the reign of love is passing1 and the reign of power is coming again4 ,the day of popular democracy is nearly done4 ,already we are entering the twilight1 towards the night that is at hand4 ,before the darkness comes1 it is as well to take our directions4 ,it is time to enquire into the nature of power1 so that we do not crassly blunder into a new era3 or fall down the gulf of anarchy1 in the dark1 as we cross the borders4 ,we have a confused idea1 that will and power are somehow identical4 ,we think we can have a will-to-power4 ,a will-to-power seems to work out as bullying4 ,and bullying is something despicable and detestable4 ,tyranny1 too1 which seems to us the apotheosis of power1 is detestable4 ,it comes from our mistaken idea of power4 ,it comes from the ancient mistake1 old as ,moses1 of confusing power with will4 ,the power of ,god1 and the will of ,god1 we have imagined identical4 ,we need only think for a moment1 and we can see the vastness of difference between the two4 ,the ,jews1 in ,moses' time1 and again particularly in the time of the ,kings1 came to look upon ,jehovah as the apotheosis of arbitrary will4 ,this is the root of a very great deal of evil2 an old1 old root4 ,will is no more than an attribute of the ego4 ,it is1 as it were1 the accelerator of the engine3 or the instrument which increases the pressure4 ,a man may have a strong will1 an iron will1 as we say1 and yet be a stupid mechanical instrument1 useful simply as an instrument1 without any power at all4 ,an instrument1 even an iron one1 has no power4 ,the power has to be put into it4 ,this is true of men with iron wills1 just the same4 ,the ,jews made the mistake of deifying ,will1 the ethical ,will of ,god4 ,the ,germans again made the mistake of deifying the egoistic ,will of ,man3 the will-to-power4 ,there is a certain inherent stupidity in apotheosised ,will1 and a consequent inevitable inferiority in the devotees thereof4 ,they all have an inferiority complex4 ,because power is not in the least like ,will4 ,power comes to us1 we know not how1 from beyond4 ,whereas our will is our own4 ,when a man prides himself on something that is just in himself1 part of his own ego1 he falls into conceit1 and conceit carries an inferiority complex as its shadow4 ,if a man1 or a race1 or a nation is to be anything at all1 he must have the generosity to admit that his strength comes to him from beyond4 ,it is not his own1 self-generated4 ,it comes as electricity comes1 out of nowhere into somewhere4 ,it is no good trying to intellectualise about it4 ,all attempts to argue and intellectualise merely strangle the passages of the heart4 ,we wish to keep our hearts open4 ,therefore we brush aside argument and intellectual haggling4 ,the intellect is one of the most curious instruments of the psyche4 ,but1 like the will1 it is only an instrument4 ,and it works only under pressure of the will4 ,by willing and by intellectualising we have done all we can1 for the time being4 ,we only exhaust ourselves1 and lose our lives--that is1 our livingness1 our power to live--by any further straining of the will and the intellect4 ,it is time to take our hands off the throttle3 knowing well enough what we are about1 and choosing our course of action with a steady heart4 ,to take one's hand off the throttle is not the same as to let go the reins4 ,man lives to live1 and for no other reason4 ,and life is not mere length of days4 ,many people hang on1 and hang on1 into a corrupt old age1 just because they have not lived1 and therefore cannot let go4 ,we must live4 ,and to live1 life must be in us4 ,it must come to us1 the power of life1 and we must not try to get a strangle-hold upon it4 ,from beyond comes to us the life1 the power to live1 and we must wisely keep our hearts open4 ,but the life will not come unless we live4 ,that is the whole point4 8,to him that hath shall be given40 ,to him that hath life shall be given life3 on condition1 of course1 that he lives4 ,and again1 life does not mean length of days4 ,poor old ,queen ,victoria had length of days4 ,but ,emily ,bront had life4 ,she died of it4 ,and again 8living0 doesn't mean just doing certain things3 running after women1 or digging a garden1 or working an engine1 or becoming a member of ,parliament4 ,just because1 for ,lord ,byron1 to sleep with a 8crowned head0 was life itself1 it doesn't follow that it will be life for me to sleep with a crowned head1 or even a head uncrowned4 ,sleeping with heads is no joke1 anyhow4 ,and living won't even consist in jazzing or motoring or going to ,wembley1 just because most folks do it4 ,living consists in doing what you really1 vitally want to do3 what the life in you wants to do1 not what your ego imagines you want to do4 ,and to find out how the life in you wants to be lived1 and to live it1 is terribly difficult4 ,somebody has to give us a clue4 ,and this is the real exercise of power4 ,that settles two points4 ,first1 power is life rushing in to us4 ,second1 the exercise of power is the setting of life in motion4 ,and this is very far from ,will4 ,if you want a dictator1 whether it is ,lenin1 or ,mussolini1 or ,primo de ,rivera1 ask1 not whether he can set money in circulation1 but if he can set life in motion1 by dictating to his people4 ,now1 although we hate to admit it1 ,lenin did set life a good deal in motion1 for the ,russian proletariat4 ,the ,russian proletariat was like a child that had been kept under too much4 ,so it was dying to be free4 ,it was crazy to keep house for itself4 ,now1 like a child1 it is keeping house for itself1 without ,papa or ,mama to interfere4 ,and naturally it enjoys it4 ,for the time it's a game4 ,but for us1 ,english or ,american or ,french or ,german people1 it would not be a game4 ,we have more or less kept house for ourselves for a long time1 and it's not very thrilling after years of it4 ,so a ,lenin wouldn't do us any good4 ,he wouldn't set any life going in us at all4 ,the ,gallic and ,latin blood isn't thrilled about keeping house1 anyhow4 ,it wants ,glory1 or else ,glory4 ,glory on horse-back1 or ,glory upset4 ,if there was any ,glory to upset1 either in ,france or ,italy or ,spain1 then communism might flourish4 ,but since there isn't even a spark of ,glory to blow out--,alfonso6 ,victor ,emmanuel6 ,poincar6--what's the good of blowing8 ,so they set up a little harmless ,glory in baggy trousers--,papa ,mussolini--or a bit of fat1 self-loving but amiable elder-brother ,glory in ,general de ,rivera3 and they call it power4 ,and the democratic world holds up its hands1 and moans3 8,dictators6 ,tyranny60 ,while the conservative world cheers loudly1 and cries3 8,the ,man6 ,the ,man6 ,el hombre6 ,l'uomo6 ,l'homme6 ,hooray6660 ,bunk6 ,we want life4 ,and we want the power of life4 ,we want to feel the power of life in ourselves4 ,we're sick of being soft1 and amiable1 and harmless4 ,we're sick to death of even enjoying ourselves4 ,we're a bit ashamed of our own existence4 ,or if we aren't we ought to be4 ,but what then8 ,shall we exclaim1 in a fat voice3 8,aha6 ,power6 ,glory6 ,force6 ,the ,man60--and proceed to set up a harmless ,mussolini1 or a fat ,rivera8 ,well1 let us1 if we want to4 ,only it won't make the slightest difference to our real living4 ,except it's probably a good thing to have the press--the newspaper press--crushed under the up-to-date rubber heel of a tyrannous but harmless dictator4 ,we won't speak of poor old ,hindenburg4 ,except1 why didn't they set up his wooden statue with all the nails knocked into it1 for a ,president8 ,for surely they drove something in1 with those nails6 ,we had a harmless dictator1 in ,mr4 ,lloyd ,george4 ,better go ahead with the ,houses of ,representatives1 than have another shot in that direction4 ,power6 ,how can there be power in politics1 when politics is money8 ,money is power1 they say4 ,is it8 ,money is to power what margarine is to butter3 a nasty substitute4 ,no1 power is something you've got to respect1 even revere1 before you can have it4 ,it isn't bossing1 or bullying1 hiring a manservant or ,salvationising your social inferior1 issuing loud orders and getting your own way1 doing your opponent down4 ,that isn't power4 ,power is pouvoir3 to be able to4 ,might3 the ability to make3 to bring about that which may-be4 ,and where are we to get ,power1 or ,might1 or ,glory1 or ,honour1 or ,wisdom8 ,out of ,lloyd ,george1 or ,lenin1 or ,mussolini1 or ,rivera1 or anything else political8 ,bah6 ,it has to be in the people1 before it can come out in politics4 ,do we want ,power1 ,might1 ,glory1 ,honour1 and ,wisdom8 ,if we do1 we'd better start to get them1 each man for himself4 ,but if we don't1 we'd better continue our lick-spittling course of being as happy1 as happy as ,kings4 8,the world is so full of a number of things ,we ought all to be happy1 as happy as ,kings40 ,which ,kings1 might we ask8 ,better be careful6 ,myself ,i want ,power4 ,but ,i don't want to boss anybody4 ,i want ,honour4 ,but ,i don't see any existing nation or government that could give it me4 ,i want ,glory4 ,but heaven save me from mankind4 ,i want ,might4 ,but perhaps ,i've got it4 ,the first thing1 of course1 is to open one's heart to the source of ,power1 and ,might1 and ,glory1 and ,honour4 ,it just depends1 which gates of one's heart one opens4 ,you can open the humble gate1 or the proud gate4 ,or you can open both1 and see what comes4 ,best open both1 and take the responsibility4 ,but set a guard at each gate1 to keep out the liars1 the snivellers1 the mongrel and the greedy4 ,however smart we be1 however rich and clever or loving or charitable or spiritual or impeccable1 it doesn't help us at all4 ,the real power comes in to us from beyond4 ,life enters us from behind1 where we are sightless1 and from below1 where we do not understand4 ,and unless we yield to the beyond1 and take our power and might and honour and glory from the unseen1 from the unknown1 we shall continue empty4 ,we may have length of days4 ,but an empty tin can lasts longer than ,alexander lived4 ,so1 anomalous as it may sound1 if we want power1 we must put aside our own will1 and our own conceit1 and accept power1 from the beyond4 ,and having admitted the power from the beyond into us1 we must abide by it1 and not traduce it4 ,courage1 discipline1 inward isolation1 these are the conditions upon which power will abide in us4 ,and between brave people there will be the communion of power1 prior to the communion of love4 ,the communion of power does not exclude the communion of love4 ,it includes it4 ,the communion of love is only a part of the greater communion of power4 ,power is the supreme quality of ,god and man3 the power to cause1 the power to create1 the power to make1 the power to do1 the power to destroy4 ,and then1 between those things which are created or made1 love is the supreme binding relationship4 ,and between those who1 with a single impulse1 set out passionately to destroy what must be destroyed1 joy flies like electric sparks1 within the communion of power4 ,love is simply and purely a relationship1 and in a pure relationship there can be nothing but equality2 or at least equipoise4 ,but ,power is more than a relationship4 ,it is like electricity1 it has different degrees4 ,men are powerful or powerless1 more or less3 we know not how or why4 ,but it is so4 ,and the communion of power will always be a communion in inequality4 ,in the end1 as in the beginning1 it is always ,power that rules the world6 ,there must be rule4 ,and only ,power can rule4 ,love cannot1 should not1 does not seek to4 ,the statement that love rules the camp1 the court1 the grove1 is a lie2 and the fact that such love has to rhyme with 8grove01 proves it4 ,power rules and will always rule4 ,because it was ,power that created us all4 ,the act of love itself is an act of power1 original as original sin4 ,the power is given us4 ,as soon as there is an act1 even in love1 it is power4 ,love itself is purely a relationship4 ,but in an age that1 like ours1 has lost the mystery of power1 and the reverence for power1 a false power is substituted3 the power of money4 ,this is a power based on the force of human envy and greed1 nothing more4 ,so nations naturally become more envious and greedy every day4 ,while individuals ooze away in a cowardice that they call love4 ,they call it love1 and peace1 and charity1 and benevolence1 when it is mere cowardice4 ,collectively they are hideously greedy and envious4 ,true power1 as distinct from the spurious power1 which is merely the force of certain human vices directed and intensified by the human will3 true power never belongs to us4 ,it is given us1 from the beyond4 ,even the simplest form of power1 physical strength1 is not our own1 to do as we like with4 ,as ,samson found4 ,but power is given differently1 in varying degrees and varying kind to different people4 ,it always was so1 it always will be so4 ,there will never be equality in power4 ,there will always be unending inequality4 ,nowadays1 when the only power is the power of human greed and envy1 the greatest men in the world are men like ,mr4 ,ford1 who can satisfy the modern lust1 we can call it nothing else1 for owning a motorcar3 or men like the great financiers1 who can soar on wings of greed to uncanny heights1 and even can spiritualise greed4 ,they talk about 8equal opportunity03 but it is bunk1 ridiculous bunk4 ,it is the old fable of the fox asking the stork to dinner4 ,all the food is to be served in a shallow dish1 levelled to perfect equality1 and you get what you can4 ,if you're a fox1 like the born financier1 you get a bellyful and more4 ,if you're a stork1 or a flamingo1 or even a man1 you have the food gobbled from under your nose1 and you go comparatively empty4 ,is the fox1 then1 or the financier1 the highest animal in creation8 ,bah6 ,humanity never bunked itself so thoroughly as with the bunk of equality1 even qualified down to 8equal opportunity04 ,in living life1 we are all born with different powers1 and different degrees of power3 some higher1 some lower4 ,the only thing to do is honorably to accept it1 and to live in the communion of power4 ,is it not better to serve a man in whom power lives1 than to clamour for equality with ,mr4 ,motor-car ,ford1 or ,mr4 ,shady ,stinnes8 ,pfui6 to your equality with such men6 ,it gives me gooseflesh4 ,how much better it must have been1 to be a colonel under ,napoleon1 than to be a ,marshal ,foch6 ,oh6 how much better it must have been1 to live in terror of ,peter the ,great--who was great--than to be a member of the proletariat under ,comrade ,lenin3 or even to be ,comrade ,lenin3 though even he was greatish1 far greater than any extant millionaire4 ,power is beyond us4 ,either it is given us from the unknown1 or we have not got it4 ,and better to touch it in another1 than never to know it4 ,better be a ,russian and shoot oneself out of sheer terror of ,peter the ,great's displeasure1 than to live like a well-to-do ,american1 and never know the mystery of ,power at all4 ,live in blank sterility4 ,for ,power is the first and greatest of all mysteries4 ,it is the mystery that is behind all our being1 even behind all our existence4 ,even the ,phallic erection is a first blind movement of power4 ,love is said to call the power into motion3 but it is probably the reverse3 that the slumbering power calls love into being4 ,power is manifold4 ,there is physical strength1 like ,samson's4 ,there is racial power1 like ,david's or ,mahomet's4 ,there is mental power1 like that of ,socrates1 and ethical power1 like that of ,moses1 and spiritual power1 like ,jesus' or like ,buddha's1 and mechanical power1 like that of ,stephenson1 or military power1 like ,napoleon's1 or political power1 like ,pitt's4 ,these are all true manifestations of power1 coming out of the unknown4 ,unlike the millionaire power1 which comes out of the known forces of human greed and envy4 ,power puts something new into the world4 ,it may be ,edison's gramaphone1 or ,newton's ,law or ,csar's ,rome or ,jesus' ,christianity1 or even ,attila's charred ruins and emptied spaces4 ,something new displaces something old1 and sometimes room has to be cleared beforehand4 ,then power is obvious4 ,power is much more obvious in its destructive than in its constructive activity4 ,a tree falls with a crash4 ,it grew without a sound4 ,yet true destructive power is power just the same as constructive4 ,even ,attila1 the ,scourge of ,god1 who helped to scourge the ,roman world out of existence1 was great with power4 ,he was the scourge of ,god3 not the scourge of the ,league of ,nations1 hired and paid in cash4 ,if it must be a scourge1 let it be a scourge of ,god4 ,but let it be power1 the old divine power4 ,the moment the divine power manifests itself1 it is right3 whether it be ,attila or ,napoleon or ,george ,washington4 ,but ,lloyd ,george1 and ,woodrow ,wilson1 and ,lenin1 they never had the right smell4 ,they never even roused real fear3 no real passion4 ,whereas a manifestation of real power arouses passion1 and always will4 ,time it should again4 ,blessed are the powerful1 for theirs is the kingdom of earth4 444 ,,love ,,was ,,once ,a ,,little ,,boy 444 ,,love ,,was ,,once ,a ,,little ,,boy ,collapse1 as often as not1 is the result of persisting in an old attitude towards some important relationship1 which1 in the course of time1 has changed its nature4 ,love itself is a relationship1 which changes as all things change1 save abstractions4 ,if you want something really more durable than diamonds you must be content with eternal truths like 8twice two are four04 ,love is a relationship between things that live1 holding them together in a sort of unison4 ,there are other vital relationships4 ,but love is this special one4 ,in every living thing there is the desire1 for love1 or for the relationship of unison with the rest of things4 ,that a tree should desire to develop itself between the power of the sun1 and the opposite pull of the earth's centre1 and to balance itself between the four winds of heaven1 and to unfold itself between the rain and the shine1 to have roots and feelers in blue heaven and innermost earth1 both1 this is a manifestation of love3 a knitting together of the diverse cosmos into a oneness1 a tree4 ,at the same time1 the tree must most powerfully exert itself and defend itself1 to maintain its own integrity against the rest of things4 ,so that love1 as a desire1 is balanced against the opposite desire1 to maintain the integrity of the individual self4 ,hate is not the opposite of love4 ,the real opposite of love is individuality4 ,we live in the age of individuality1 we call ourselves the servants of love4 ,that is to say1 we enact a perpetual paradox4 ,take the love of a man and a woman1 today4 ,as sure as you start with a case of 8true love0 between them1 you end with a terrific struggle and conflict of the two opposing egos or individualities4 ,it is nobody's fault3 it is the inevitable result of trying to snatch an intensified individuality out of the mutual flame4 ,love1 as a relationship of unison1 means and must mean1 to some extent1 the sinking of the individuality4 ,woman for centuries was expected to sink her individuality into that of her husband and family4 ,nowadays the tendency is to insist that a man shall sink his individuality into his job1 or his business1 primarily1 and secondarily into his wife and family4 ,at the same time1 education and the public voice urges man and woman into intenser individualism4 ,the sacrifice takes the old symbolic form of throwing a few grains of incense on the altar4 ,a certain amount of time1 labor1 money1 emotion are sacrificed on the altar of love1 by man and woman3 especially emotion4 ,but each calculates the sacrifice4 ,and man and woman alike1 each saves his individual ego1 her individual ego1 intact1 as far as possible1 in the scrimmage of love4 ,most of our talk about love is cant1 and bunk4 ,the treasure of treasures to man and woman today is his own1 or her own ego4 ,and this ego1 each hopes it will flourish like a salamander in the flame of love and passion4 ,which it well may3 but for the fact that there are two salamanders in the same flame1 and they fight till the flame goes out4 ,then they become grey cold lizards of the vulgar ego4 ,it is much easier1 of course1 when there is no flame4 ,then there is no serious fight4 ,you can't worship love and individuality in the same breath4 ,love is a mutual relationship1 like a flame between wax and air4 ,if either wax or air insists on getting its own way1 or getting its own back too much1 the flame goes out and the unison disappears4 ,at the same time1 if one yields itself up to the other entirely1 there is a guttering mess4 ,you have to balance love and individuality1 and actually sacrifice a portion of each4 ,you have to have some sort of balance4 ,the ,greeks said equilibrium4 ,but whereas you can quite nicely balance a pound of butter against a pound of cheese1 it is quite another matter to balance a rose and a ruby4 ,still more difficult is it to put male man in one scale and female woman in the other1 and equilibrate that little pair of opposites4 ,unless1 of course1 you abstract them4 ,it's easy enough to balance a citizen against a citizeness1 a ,christian against a ,christian1 a spirit against a spirit1 or a soul against a soul4 ,there's a formula for each case4 ,liberty1 ,equality1 ,fraternity1 etc41 etc4 ,but the moment you put young ,tom in one scale1 and young ,kate in the other3 why1 not ,god ,himself has succeeded as yet in striking a nice level balance4 ,probably doesn't intend to1 ever4 ,probably it's one of the things that are most fascinating because they are nearly possible1 yet absolutely impossible4 ,still1 a miss is better than a mile4 ,you can at least draw blood4 ,how can ,i equilibrate myself with my black cow ,susan8 ,i call her daily at six o'clock4 ,and sometimes she comes4 ,but sometimes1 again1 she doesn't1 and ,i have to hunt her away among the timber4 ,possibly she is lying peacefully in cowy inertia1 like a black ,hindu statue1 among the oak-scrub4 ,then she rises with a sighing heave4 ,my calling was a mere nothing against the black stillness of her cowy passivity4 ,or possibly she is away down in the bottom corner1 lowing sotto voce and blindly to some far-off1 inaccessible bull4 ,then when ,i call at her1 and approach1 she screws round her tail and flings her sharp1 elastic haunch in the air with a kick and a flick1 and plunges off like a buck rabbit1 or like a black demon among the pine trees1 her udder swinging like a chime of bells4 ,or possibly the coyotes have been howling in the night along the top fence4 ,and then ,i call in vain4 ,it's a question of saddling a horse and sifting the bottom timber4 ,and there at last the horse suddenly winces1 starts3 and with a certain pang of fear ,i too catch sight of something black and motionless and alive1 and terribly silent1 among the tree-trunks4 ,it is ,susan1 her ears apart1 standing like some spider suspended motionless by a thread1 from the web of the eternal silence4 ,the strange faculty she has1 cow-given1 of becoming a suspended ghost1 hidden in the very crevices of the atmosphere6 ,it is something in her will4 ,it is her tarnhelm4 ,and then1 she doesn't know me4 ,if ,i am afoot1 she knows my voice1 but not the advancing me1 in a blue shirt and cord trousers4 ,she waits1 suspended by the thread1 till ,i come close4 ,then she reaches forward her nose1 to smell4 ,she smells my hand3 gives a little snort1 exhaling her breath1 with a kind of contempt1 turns1 and ambles up towards the homestead1 perfectly assured4 ,if ,i am on horse-back1 although she knows the grey horse perfectly well1 at the same time she doesn't know what it is4 ,she waits till the wicked ,azul1 who is a born cow-punching pony1 advances mischievously at her4 ,then round she swings1 as if on the blast of some sudden wind1 and with her ears back1 her head rather down1 her black back curved1 up she goes1 through the timber1 with surprising1 swimming swiftness4 ,and the ,azul1 snorting with jolly mischief1 dashes after her4 ,and when she is safely in her milking place1 still she watches with her great black eyes as ,i dismount4 ,and she has to smell my hand before the cowy peace of being milked enters her blood4 ,till then1 there is something roaring in the chaos of her universe4 ,when her cowy peace comes1 then her universe is silent1 and like the sea with an even tide1 without sail or smoke3 nothing4 ,that is ,susan1 my black cow4 ,and how am ,i going to equilibrate myself with her8 ,or even1 if you prefer the word1 to get in harmony with her8 ,equilibrium8 ,harmony8 with that black blossom6 ,try it6 ,she doesn't even know me4 ,if ,i put on a pair of white trousers1 she wheels away as if the devil was on her back4 ,i have to go behind her1 talk to her1 stroke her1 and let her smell my hand2 and smell the white trousers4 ,she doesn't know they are trousers4 ,she doesn't know that ,i am a gentleman on two feet4 ,not she4 ,something mysterious happens in her blood and her being1 when she smells me and my nice white trousers4 ,yet she knows me1 too4 ,she likes to linger1 while one talks to her4 ,she knows quite well she makes me mad when she swings her tail in my face4 ,so sometimes she swings it1 just on purpose3 and looks at me out of the black corner of her great1 pure-black eye1 when ,i yell at her4 ,and when ,i find her1 away down the timber1 when she is a ghost1 and lost to the world1 like a spider dangling in the void of chaos1 then she is relieved4 ,she comes to1 out of a sort of trance1 and is relieved1 trotting up home with a queer1 jerky cowy gladness4 ,but she is never really glad1 as the horses are4 ,there is always a certain untouched chaos in her4 ,where she is when she's in the trance1 heaven only knows4 ,that's ,susan6 ,i have a certain relation to her4 ,but that she and ,i are in equilibrium1 or in harmony1 ,i would never guarantee while the world stands4 ,as for her individuality being in balance with mine1 one can only feel the great blank of the gulf4 ,yet a relationship there is4 ,she knows my touch and she goes very still and peaceful1 being milked4 ,i1 too1 ,i know her smell and her warmth and her feel4 ,and ,i share some of her cowy silence1 when ,i milk her4 ,there is a sort of relation between us4 ,and this relation is part of the mystery of love3 the individuality on each side1 mine and ,susan's1 suspended in the relationship4 ,cow ,susan by the forest's rim ,a black-eyed ,susan was to him ,and nothing more-- ,one understands ,wordsworth and the primrose and the yokel4 ,the yokel had no relation at all--or next to none--with the primrose4 ,wordsworth gathered it into his own bosom and made it part of his own nature4 8,i1 ,william1 am also a yellow primrose blossoming on a bank40 ,this1 we must assert1 is an impertinence on ,william's part4 ,he ousts the primrose from its own individuality4 ,he doesn't allow it to call its soul its own4 ,it must be identical with his soul4 ,because1 of course1 by begging the question1 there is but ,one ,soul in the universe4 ,this is bunk4 ,a primrose has its own peculiar primrosy identity1 and all the oversouling in the world won't melt it into a ,williamish oneness4 ,neither will the yokel's remarking3 8,nay1 boy1 that's nothing4 ,it's only a primrose60--turn the primrose into nothing4 ,the primrose will neither be assimilated nor annihilated1 and ,boundless ,love breaks on the rock of one more flower4 ,it has its own individuality1 which it opens with lovely navet to sky and wind and ,william and yokel1 bee and beetle alike4 ,it is itself4 ,but its very floweriness is a kind of communion with all things3 the love unison4 ,in this lies the eternal absurdity of ,wordsworth's lines4 ,his own behaviour1 primrosely1 was as foolish as the yokel's4 8,a primrose by the river's brim ,a yellow primrose was to him ,and nothing more--0 ,a primrose by the river's brim ,a yellow primrose was to him ,and a great deal more-- ,a primrose by the river's brim ,lit up its pallid yellow glim ,upon the floor-- ,and watched old ,father ,william trim ,his course beside the river's brim ,and trembled sore-- ,the yokel1 going for a swim ,had very nearly trod on him ,an hour before4 ,and now the poet's fingers slim ,were reaching out to pluck at him ,and hurt him more4 ,oh gentlemen1 hark to my hymn6 ,to be a primrose is my whim ,upon the floor1 ,and nothing more4 ,the sky is with me1 and the dim ,earth clasps my roots4 ,your shadows skim ,my face once more4444 ,leave me therefore ,upon the floor2 ,say au revoir4444 ,ah ,william6 ,the 8something more0 that the primrose was to you1 was yourself in the mirror4 ,and if the yokel actually got as far as beholding a 8yellow primrose01 he got far enough4 ,you see it is not so easy even for a poet to equilibrate himself even with a mere primrose4 ,he didn't leave it with a soul of its own4 ,it had to have his soul4 ,and nature had to be sweet and pure1 ,williamish4 ,sweet-,williamish at that6 ,anthropomorphised6 ,anthropomorphism1 that allows nothing to call its soul its own1 save anthropos3 and only a special brand1 even of him6 ,poetry can tell alluring lies1 when we let our feelings1 or our ego1 run away with us4 ,and we must always beware of romance3 of people who love nature1 or flowers1 or dogs1 or babies1 or pure adventure4 ,it means they are getting into a love-swing where everything is easy and nothing opposes their own egoism4 ,nature1 babies1 dogs are so lovable1 because they can't answer back4 ,the primrose1 alas6 couldn't pipe up and say3 8,hey6 ,bill6 get off the barrow60 ,that's the best of men and women4 ,there's bound to be a lot of back chat4 ,you can ,lucy ,gray your woman as hard as you like1 one day she's bound to come back at you3 8,who are you when you're at home80 ,a man isn't going to spread his own ego over a woman1 as he has done over nature and primroses1 and dogs1 or horses1 or babies1 or 8the people01 or the proletariat or the poor-and-needy4 ,the old hen takes the cock by the beard1 and says3 8,that's me1 mind you60 ,man is an individual1 and woman is an individual4 ,which sounds easy4 ,but it's not as easy as it seems4 ,these two individuals are as different as chalk and cheese4 ,true1 a pound of chalk weighs as much as a pound of cheese4 ,but the proof of the pudding is in the eating1 not the scales4 ,that is to say1 you can announce that men and women should be equal and are equal4 ,all right4 ,put them in the scales4 ,alas6 my wife is about twenty pounds heavier than ,i am4 ,nothing to do but to abstract4 ,l'homme est n libre3 with a napkin round his little tail4 ,nevertheless1 ,i am a citizen1 my wife is a citizeness3 ,i can vote1 she can vote1 ,i can be sent to prison1 she can be sent to prison1 ,i can have a passport1 she can have a passport1 ,i can be an author1 she can be an authoress4 ,ooray6 ,,oo-bloomin-ray6 ,you see1 we are both ,british subjects4 ,everybody bow6 ,subjects6 ,subjects6 ,subjects6 ,madame is already shaking herself like a wet hen4 ,but yes1 my dear6 we are both subjects4 ,and as subjects1 we enjoy a lovely equality1 liberty1 my dear6 ,equality6 ,fraternity or ,sorority6 my dear6 ,aren't you pleased8 ,but it's no use talking to a wet hen4 ,that 8subject0 was a cold douche4 ,as subjects1 men and women may be equal4 ,but as objects1 it's another pair of shoes4 ,where1 ,i ask you1 is the equality between an arrow and a horseshoe8 or a serpent and a squash-blossom8 ,find me the equation that equates the cock and the hen4 ,you can't4 ,as inhabitants of my backyard1 as loyal subjects of my rancho1 they1 the cock and the hen1 are equal4 ,when he gets wheat1 she gets wheat4 ,when sour milk is put out1 it is as much for him as for her4 ,she is just as free to go where she likes1 as he is4 ,and if she likes to crow at sunrise1 she may4 ,there is no law against it4 ,and he can lay an egg1 if the fit takes him4 ,absolutely nothing forbids4 ,isn't that equality8 ,if it isn't1 what is8 ,even then1 they're two very different objects4 ,as equals1 they are just a couple of barnyard fowls1 clucking6 generalised6 ,but dear me1 when he comes prancing up with his red beard shaking1 and his eye gleaming1 and she comes slowly pottering after1 with her nose to the ground1 they're two very different objects4 ,you never think of equality3 or of inequality1 for that matter4 ,they're a cock and a hen1 and you accept them as such4 ,you don't think of them as equals1 or as unequals4 ,but you think of them together4 ,wherein1 then1 lies the togetherness8 ,would you call it love8 ,i wouldn't4 ,their two egos are absolutely separate4 ,he's a cock1 she's a hen4 ,he never thinks of her for a moment1 as if she were a cock like himself2 and she never thinks for a moment that he is a hen like herself4 ,i never hear anything in her squawk which would seem to say3 8,aren't ,i a fowl as much as you are1 you brute60 ,whereas ,i always hear women shrieking at their men3 8,aren't ,i a human being as much as you are80 ,it seems beside the point4 ,i always answer my spouse1 with sweet reasonableness3 8,my dear1 we are both ,british ,subjects4 ,what can ,i say more1 on the score of equality8 ,you are a ,british ,subject as much as ,i am40 ,curiously1 she hates to have it put that way4 ,she wants to be a human being as much as ,i am4 ,but absolutely and honestly1 ,i don't know what a human-being is4 ,whereas ,i do know what a ,british ,subject is4 ,it can be defined4 ,and ,i can see how a ,civis ,romanum1 or a ,british ,subject can be free1 whether it's he or she4 ,the he-ness or the she-ness doesn't matter4 ,but how a man can consider himself free1 ,i don't know4 ,any more than a cock-robin or a dandelion4 ,imagine a dandelion suddenly hissing3 8,i am free and ,i will be free60 ,then wriggling on his root like a snake with his tail pegged down6 ,what a horrifying sight6 ,so it is when a man1 with two legs and a penis1 a belly and a mouth begins to shout about being free4 ,one wants to ask3 which bit do you refer to8 ,there's a cock and there's the hen1 and their two egos or individualities seem to stay apart without friction4 ,they never coo at one another1 nor hold each other's hand4 ,i never see her sitting on his lap and being petted4 ,true1 sometimes he calls for her to come and eat a titbit4 ,and sometimes he dashes at her and walks over her for a moment4 ,she doesn't seem to mind4 ,i never hear her squawking3 8,don't you think you can walk over me60 ,yet she's by no means downtrodden4 ,she's just herself1 and seems to have a good time3 and she doesn't like it if he is missing4 ,so there is this peculiar togetherness about them4 ,you can't call it love4 ,it would be too ridiculous4 ,what then8 ,as far as ,i can see1 it is desire4 ,and the desire has a fluctuating intensity1 but it is always there4 ,his desire is always towards her1 even when he has absolutely forgotten her4 ,and by the way she puts her feet down1 ,i can see she always walks in her plumes of desirableness1 even when she's going broody4 ,the mystery about her1 is her strange undying desirableness4 ,you can see it in every step she takes4 ,she is desirable4 ,and this is the breath of her life4 ,it is the same with ,susan4 ,the queer cowy mystery of her is her changeless cowy desirableness4 ,she is far1 alas1 from any bull4 ,she never even remotely dreams of a bull1 save at rare and brief periods4 ,yet her whole being and motion is that of being desirable3 or else fractious4 ,it seems to unite her with the very air1 and the plants and trees4 ,even to the sky and the trees and the grass and the running stream1 she is subtly1 delicately and purely desirable1 in cowy desirability4 ,it is her cowy mystery4 ,then her fractiousness is the fireworks of her desirableness4 ,to me she is fractious1 tiresome1 and a faggot4 ,yet the subtle desirableness is in her1 for me4 ,as it is in a brown hen1 or even a sow4 ,it is like a peculiar charm3 the creature's femaleness1 her desirableness4 ,it is her sex1 no doubt3 but so subtle as to have nothing to do with function4 ,it is a mystery1 like a delicate flame4 ,it would be false to call it love1 because love complicates the ego4 ,the ego is always concerned in love4 ,but in the frail1 subtle desirousness of the true male1 towards everything female1 and the equally frail1 indescribable desirability of every female for every male1 lies the real clue to the equating1 or the relating1 of things which otherwise are incommensurable4 ,and this1 this desire1 is the reality which is inside love4 ,the ego itself plays a false part in it4 ,the individual is like a deep pool1 or tarn1 in the mountains1 fed from beneath by unseen springs1 and having no obvious inlet or outlet4 ,the springs which feed the individual at the depths are sources of power1 power from the unknown4 ,but it is not until the stream of desire overflows and goes running downhill into the open world1 that the individual has his further1 secondary existence4 ,now we have imagined love to be something absolute and personal4 ,it is neither4 ,in its essence1 love is no more than the stream of clear and unmuddied1 subtle desire which flows from person to person1 creature to creature1 thing to thing4 ,the moment this stream of delicate but potent desire dries up1 the love has dried up1 and the joy of life has dried up4 ,it's no good trying to turn on the tap4 ,desire is either flowing1 or gone1 and the love with it1 and the life too4 ,this subtle streaming of desire is beyond the control of the ego4 ,the ego says3 8,this is my love1 to do as ,i like with6 ,this is my desire1 given me for my own pleasure40 ,but the ego deceives itself4 ,the individual cannot possess the love which he himself feels4 ,neither should he be entirely possessed by it4 ,neither man nor woman should sacrifice individuality to love1 nor love to individuality4 ,if we lose desire out of our life1 we become empty vessels4 ,but if we breakout own integrity1 we become a squalid mess1 like a jar of honey dropped and smashed4 ,the individual has nothing1 really1 to do with love4 ,that is1 his individuality hasn't4 ,out of the deep silence of his individuality runs the stream of desire1 into the open squash-blossom of the world4 ,and the stream of desire may meet and mingle with the stream from a woman4 ,but it is never himself that meets and mingles with herself3 any more than two lakes1 whose waters meet to make one river1 in the distance1 meet in themselves4 ,the two individuals stay apart1 for ever and ever4 ,but the two streams of desire1 like the ,blue ,nile and the ,white ,nile1 from the mountains one and from the low hot lake the other1 meet and at length mix their strange and alien waters1 to make a ,nilus ,flux4 ,see then the childish mistake we have made1 about love4 ,we have insisted that the two individualities should 8fit04 ,we have insisted that the 8love0 between man and woman must be 8perfect04 ,what on earth that means1 is a mystery4 ,what would a perfect ,nilus ,flux be8--one that never overflowed its banks8 or one that always overflowed its banks8 or one that had exactly the same overflow every year1 to a hair's-breadth8 ,my dear1 it is absurd4 ,perfect love is an absurdity4 ,as for casting out fear1 you'd better be careful4 ,for fear1 like curses and chickens1 will also come home to roost4 ,perfect love1 ,i suppose1 means that a married man and woman never contradict one another1 and that they both of them always feel the same thing at the same moment1 and kiss one another on the strength of it4 ,what blarney6 ,it means1 ,i suppose1 that they are absolutely intimate3 this precious intimacy that lovers insist on4 ,they tell each other everything3 and if she puts on chiffon knickers1 he ties the strings for her3 and if he blows his nose1 she holds the hanky4 ,pfui6 ,is anything so loathsome as intimacy1 especially the married sort1 or the sort that 8lovers0 indulge in6 ,it's a mistake and ends in disaster4 ,why8 ,because the individualities of men and women are incommensurable1 and they will no more meet than the mountains of ,abyssinia will meet with ,lake ,victoria ,nyanza4 ,it is far more important to keep them distinct1 than to join them4 ,if they are to join1 they will join in the third land where the two streams of desire meet4 ,of course1 as citizen and citizeness1 as two persons1 even as two spirits1 man and woman can be equal and intimate4 ,but this is their outer1 more general or common selves4 ,the individual man himself1 and the individual woman herself1 this is another pair of shoes4 ,it is a pity that we have insisted on putting all our eggs in one basket3 calling love the basket1 and ourselves the eggs4 ,it is a pity we have insisted on being individuals only in the communistic1 semi-abstract or generalised sense3 as voters1 money-owners1 8free0 men and women3 free in so far as we are all alike1 and individuals in so far as we are commensurable integers4 ,by turning ourselves into integers3 every man to himself and every woman to herself a ,number ,one2 an infinite number of ,number ,ones2 we have destroyed ourselves as desirous or desirable individuals1 and broken the inward sources of our power1 and flooded all mankind into one dreary marsh where the rivers of desire lie dead with everything else1 except a stagnant unity4 ,it is a pity of pities women have learned to think like men4 ,any husband will say1 8they haven't40 ,but they have3 they've all learned to think like some other beastly man1 who is not their husband4 ,our education goes on and on1 on and on1 making the sexes alike1 destroying the original individuality of the blood1 to substitute for it this dreary individuality of the ego1 the ,number ,one4 ,out of the ego streams neither ,blue ,nile nor ,white ,nile4 ,the infinite number of little human egos makes a mosquito marsh1 where nothing happens except buzzing and biting1 ooze and degeneration4 ,and they call this marsh1 with its poisonous will-o-the-wisps1 and its clouds of mosquitos1 democracy1 and the reign of love66 ,you can have it4 ,i am a man1 and the ,mountains of ,abyssinia1 and my ,blue ,nile flows towards the desert4 ,there should be a woman somewhere far ,south1 like a great lake1 sending forth her ,white ,nile towards the desert1 too3 and the rivers will meet among the ,slopes of the ,world1 somewhere4 ,but alas1 every woman ,i've ever met spends her time saying she's as good as any man1 if not better1 and she can beat him at his own game4 ,so ,lake ,victoria ,nyanza gets up on end1 and declares it's the ,mountains of ,abyssinia1 and the ,mountains of ,abyssinia fall flat and cry3 8,you're all that1 and more1 my dear60--and between them1 you're bogged4 ,i give it up4 ,but at any rate it's nice to know what's wrong1 since wrong it is4 ,if we were men1 if we were women1 our individualities would be lone and a bit mysterious1 like tarns1 and fed with power1 male power1 female power1 from underneath1 invisibly4 ,and from us the streams of desire would flow out in the eternal glimmering adventure1 to meet in some unknown desert4 ,mais nous avons chang tout cela4 ,i'll bet the yokel1 even then1 was more himself1 and the stream of his desire was stronger and more gurgling1 than ,william ,wordsworth's4 ,for a long time the yokel retains his own integrity1 and his own real stream of desire flows from him4 ,once you break this1 and turn him1 who was a yokel1 into still another ,number ,one1 an assertive newspaper-parcel of an ego1 you've done it6 ,but don't1 dear1 darling reader1 when ,i say 8desire01 immediately conclude that ,i mean a jungleful of rampaging ,don ,juans and raping buck niggers4 ,when ,i say that a woman should be eternally desirable1 don't say that ,i mean every man should want to sleep with her1 the instant he sets eyes on her4 ,on the contrary4 ,don ,juan was only ,don ,juan because he had no real desire4 ,he had broken his own integrity1 and was a mess to start with4 ,no stream of desire1 with a course of its own1 flowed from him4 ,he was a marsh in himself4 ,he mashed and trampled everything up1 and desired no woman1 so he ran after every one of them1 with an itch instead of a steady flame4 ,and tortured by his own itch1 he inflamed his itch more and more4 ,that's ,don ,juan1 the man who couldn't desire a woman4 ,he shouldn't have tried4 ,he should have gone into a monastery at fifteen4 ,as for the yokel1 his little stream may have flowed out of commonplace little hills1 and been ready to mingle with the streams of any easy1 puddly little yokeless4 ,but what does it matter6 ,and men are far less promiscuous1 even then1 than we like to pretend4 ,it's ,don ,juanery1 sex-in-the-head1 no real desire1 which leads to profligacy or squalid promiscuity4 ,the yokel usually met desire with desire3 which is all right3 and sufficiently rare to ensure the moral balance4 ,desire is a living stream4 ,if we gave free rein1 or a free course1 to our living flow of desire1 we shouldn't go far wrong4 ,it's quite different from giving a free rein to an itching1 prurient imagination4 ,that is our vileness4 ,the living stream of sexual desire itself does not often1 in any man1 find its object1 its confluent1 the stream of desire in a woman into which it can flow4 ,the two streams flow together1 spontaneously1 not often1 in the life of any man or woman4 ,mostly1 men and women alike rush into a sort of prostitution1 because our idiotic civilisation has never learned to hold in reverence the true desire-stream4 ,we force our desire from our ego3 and this is deadly4 ,desire itself is a pure thing1 like sunshine1 or fire1 or rain4 ,it is desire that makes the whole world living to me1 keeps me in the flow connected4 ,it is my flow of desire that makes me move as the birds and animals move through the sunshine and the night1 in a kind of accomplished innocence1 not shut outside of the natural paradise4 ,for life is a kind of ,paradise1 even to my horse ,azul1 though he doesn't get his own way in it1 by any means1 and is sometimes in a real temper about it4 ,sometimes he even gets a bellyache1 with wet alfalfa4 ,but even the bellyache is part of the natural paradise4 ,not like human ennui4 ,so a man can go forth in desire1 even to the primroses4 ,but let him refrain from falling all over the poor blossom1 as ,william did4 ,or trying to incorporate it in his own ego1 which is a sort of lust4 ,nasty anthropomorphic lust4 ,everything that exists1 even a stone1 has two sides to its nature4 ,it fiercely maintains its own individuality1 its own solidity4 ,and it reaches forth from itself in the subtlest flow of desire4 ,it fiercely resists all inroads4 ,at the same time it sinks down in the curious weight1 or flow1 of that desire which we call gravitation4 ,and imperceptibly1 through the course of ages1 it flows into delicate combination with the air and sun and rain4 ,at one time1 men worshipped stones3 symbolically1 no doubt1 because of their mysterious durability1 their power of hardness1 resistance1 their strength of remaining unchanged4 ,yet even then1 worshipping man did not rest till he had erected the stone into a pillar1 a menhir1 symbol of the eternal desire1 as the phallus itself is but a symbol4 ,and we1 men and women1 are the same as stones3 the powerful resistance and cohesiveness of our individuality is countered by the mysterious flow of desire1 from us and towards us4 ,it is the same with the worlds1 the stars1 the suns4 ,all is alive1 in its own degree4 ,and the centripetal force of spinning earth is the force of earth's individuality3 and the centrifugal force is the force of desire4 ,earth's immense centripetal energy1 almost passion1 balanced against her furious centrifugal force1 holds her suspended between her moon and her sun1 in a dynamic equilibrium4 ,so instead of the ,greek3 ,know thyself6 we shall have to say to every man3 8,be ,thyself6 ,be ,desirous60--and to every woman3 8,be ,thyself6 ,be ,desirable60 ,be ,thyself6 does not mean3 ,assert thy ego6 ,it means1 be true to your own integrity1 as man1 as woman3 let your heart stay open1 to receive the mysterious inflow of power from the unknown3 know that the power comes to you from beyond1 it is not generated by your own will3 therefore all the time1 be watchful1 and reverential towards the mysterious coming of power into you4 ,be ,thyself6 is the grand cry of individualism4 ,but individualism makes the mistake of considering an individual as a fixed entity3 a little windmill that spins without shifting ground or changing its own nature4 ,and this is nonsense4 ,when power enters us1 it does not just move us mechanically4 ,it changes us4 ,when the unseen wind blows1 it blows upon us1 and through us4 ,it carries us like a ship on a sea4 ,and it roars to flame in us1 like a draught in a fierce fire4 ,or like a dandelion in flower4 ,what is the difference between a dandelion and a windmill8 ,heap on more wood6 ,even the ,nirvanists consider man as a fixed entity1 a changeless ego1 which is capable of nothing1 ultimately1 but remerging into the infinite4 ,a little windmill that can turn faster and faster1 till it becomes actually invisible1 and nothing remains in nothingness1 except a blur and a faint hum4 ,i am not a windmill4 ,i am not even an ego4 ,i am a man4 ,i am myself1 and ,i remain myself only by the grave of the powers that enter me1 from the unseen1 and make me forever newly myself4 ,and ,i am myself1 also1 by the grace of the desire that flows from me and consummates me with the other unknown1 the invisible1 tangible creation4 ,the powers that enter me fluctuate and ebb4 ,and the desire that goes forth from me waxes and wanes4 ,sometimes it is weak1 and ,i am almost isolated4 ,sometimes it is strong1 and ,i am almost carried away4 ,but supposing the cult of ,individualism1 ,liberty1 ,freedom1 and so forth1 has landed me in the state of egoism1 the state so prettily and nauseously described by ,henley in his ,invictus3 which1 after all1 is but the yelp of a house-dog1 a domesticated creature with an inferiority complex6 8,it matters not how strait the gate1 ,how charged with punishment the scroll3 ,i am the master of my fate6 ,i am the captain of my soul60 ,are you1 old boy8 ,then why hippety-hop8 ,he was a cripple at that6 ,as a matter of fact1 it is the slave's bravado6 ,the modern slave is he who does not receive his powers from the unseen1 and give reverence1 but who thinks he is his own little boss4 ,only a slave would take the trouble to shout3 8,i am free60 ,that is to say1 to shout it in the face of the open heavens4 ,in the face of men1 and their institutions and prisons4 ,yes-yes6 ,but in the face of the open heavens ,i would be ashamed to talk about freedom4 ,i have no life1 no real power1 unless it will come to me4 ,and ,i accomplish nothing1 not even my own fulfilled existence1 unless ,i go forth1 delicately1 desirous1 and find the mating of my desire2 even if it be only the sky itself1 and trees1 and the cow ,susan1 and the inexpressible consolation of a statue of an ,egyptian ,pharaoh1 or the ,old ,testament1 or even three rubies4 ,these answer my desire with fulfilment4 ,what bunk then to talk about being master of my fate6 when my fate depends upon these things3--not to mention the unseen reality that sends strength1 or life into me1 without which ,i am a gourd rattle4 ,the ego1 the little conscious ego that ,i am1 that doll-like entity1 that mannikin made in ridiculous likeness of the ,adam which ,i am3 am ,i going to allow that that is all of me8 ,and shout about it8 ,of course1 if ,i am nothing but an ego1 and woman is nothing but another ego1 then there is really no vital difference between us4 ,two little dolls of conscious entities1 squeaking when you squeeze them4 ,and with a tiny bit of an extraneous appendage to mark which is which4 8,woman is just the same as man10 loudly said the political speaker1 8,save for a very little difference40 8,three cheers for the very little difference60 says a vulgar voice from the crowd4 ,but that's a chestnut4 8,quick6 ,sharp6 ,on the alert6 ,let every gentleman put on his shirt6 ,and be quick if you please6 ,let every lady put on her chemise60 ,though nowadays1 a lady's chemise won't save her face4 ,in or out her chemise1 however1 doesn't make much difference to the modern woman4 ,she's a finished-off ego1 an assertive conscious entity1 cut off like a doll from any mystery4 ,and her nudity is about as interesting as a doll's4 ,if you can be interested in the nudity of a doll1 then jazz on1 jazz on6 ,the same with the men4 ,no matter how they pull their shirts off they never arrive at their own nakedness4 ,they have none4 ,they can only be undressed4 ,naked they cannot be4 ,without their clothes on1 they are like a dismantled street-car without its advertisements3 sort of public article that doesn't refer to anything4 ,the ego6 ,anthropomorphism6 ,love6 ,what it works out to in the end is that even anthropos disappears1 and leaves a sawdust mannikin wondrously jazzing4 8,my little sisters1 the birds60 says ,francis of ,assisi4 8,whew60 goes the blackbird4 8,listen to me1 my little sisters1 you birds60 8,whew60 goes the blackbird4 8,i'm a cock1 mister60 ,love6 ,what's the good of woman who isn't desirable1 even though she's as pretty as paint1 and the waves in her hair are as permanent as the pyramids6 ,he buried his face in her permanent wave1 and cried3 8,help6 ,get me out60 ,individualism6 ,read the advertisements6 8,jew-jew's hats give a man that individual touch he so much desires4 ,no man could lack individuality in ,poppem's pyjamas40 ,poor devil6 ,if he was left to his own skin1 where would he be6 ,pop goes the weasel6 ,,reflections ,,on ,,the ,,death ,,of ,a ,,porcupine ,,reflections ,,on ,,the ,,death ,,of ,a ,,porcupine ,there are many bare places on the little pine trees1 towards the top1 where the porcupines have gnawed the bark away and left the white flesh showing4 ,and some trees are dying from the top4 ,everyone says1 porcupines should be killed2 the ,indians1 ,mexicans1 ,americans all say the same4 ,at full moon a month ago1 when ,i went down the long clearing in the brilliant moonlight1 through the poor dry herbage a big porcupine began to waddle away from me1 towards the trees and the darkness4 ,the animal had raised all its hairs and bristles1 so that by the light of the moon it seemed to have a tall1 swaying1 moonlit aureole arching its back as it went4 ,that seemed curiously fearsome1 as if the animal were emitting itself demon-like on the air4 ,it waddled very slowly1 with its white spiky spoon-tail steering flat1 behind the round bear-like mound of its back4 ,it had a lumbering1 beetle's1 squalid motion1 unpleasant4 ,i followed it into the darkness of the timber1 and there1 squat like a great tick1 it began scrapily to creep up a pine-trunk4 ,it was very like a great aureoled tick1 a bug1 struggling up4 ,i stood near and watched1 disliking the presence of the creature4 ,it is a duty to kill the things4 ,but the dislike of killing him was greater than the dislike of him4 ,so ,i watched him climb4 ,and he watched me4 ,when he had got nearly the height of a man1 all his long hairs swaying with a bristling gleam like an aureole1 he hesitated1 and slithered down4 ,evidently he had decided1 either that ,i was harmless1 or else that it was risky to go up any further1 when ,i could knock him off so easily with a pole4 ,so he slithered podgily down again1 and waddled away with the same bestial1 stupid motion of that white-spiky repulsive spoon-tail4 ,he was as big as a middle-sized pig3 or more like a bear4 ,i let him go4 ,he was repugnant4 ,he made a certain squalor in the moonlight of the ,rocky ,mountains4 ,as all savagery has a touch of squalor1 that makes one a little sick at the stomach4 ,and anyhow1 it seemed almost more squalid to pick up a pine-bough and push him over1 hit him and kill him4 ,a few days later1 on a hot1 motionless morning when the pine-trees put out their bristles in stealthy1 hard assertion2 and ,i was not in a good temper1 because ,black-eyed ,susan1 the cow1 had disappeared into the timber1 and ,i had had to ride hunting her1 so it was nearly nine o'clock before she was milked3 ,madame came in suddenly out of the sunlight1 saying 8,i got such a shock6 ,there are two strange dogs1 and one of them has got the most awful beard1 all round his nose40 ,she was frightened1 like a child1 at something unnatural4 8,beard6 ,porcupine quills1 probably6 ,he's been after a porcupine40 8,ah60 she cried in relief4 8,very likely6 ,very likely60--then with a change of tone2 8,poor thing1 will they hurt him80 8,they will4 ,i wonder when he came40 8,i heard dogs bark in the night40 8,did you8 ,why didn't you say so8 ,i should have known ,susan was hiding--0 ,the ranch is lonely1 there is no sound in the night1 save the innumerable noises of the night1 that you can't put your finger on2 cosmic noises in the far deeps of the sky1 and of the earth4 ,i went out4 ,and in the full blaze of sunlight in the field1 stood two dogs1 a black-and-white1 and a big1 bushy1 rather handsome sandy-red dog1 of the collie type4 ,and sure enough1 this latter did look queer and a bit horrifying1 his whole muzzle set round with white spines1 like some ghastly growth2 like an unnatural beard4 ,the black-and-white dog made off as ,i went through the fence4 ,but the red dog whimpered and hesitated1 and moved on hot bricks4 ,he was fat and in good condition4 ,i thought he might belong to some shepherds herding sheep in the forest ranges1 among the mountains4 ,he waited while ,i went up to him1 wagging his tail and whimpering1 and ducking his head1 and dancing4 ,he daren't rub his nose with his paws any more3 it hurt too much4 ,i patted his head and looked at his nose1 and he whimpered loudly4 ,he must have had thirty quills1 or more1 sticking out of his nose1 all the way round3 the white1 ugly ends of the quills protruding an inch1 sometimes more1 sometimes less1 from his already swollen1 blood-puffed muzzle4 ,the porcupines here have quills only two or three inches long4 ,but they are devilish2 and a dog will die if he does not get them pulled out4 ,because they work further and further in1 and will sometimes emerge through the skin away in some unexpected place4 ,then the fun began4 ,i got him in the yard3 and he drank up the whole half-gallon of the chickens' sour milk4 ,then ,i started pulling out the quills4 ,he was a big1 bushy1 handsome dog1 but his nerve was gone1 and every time ,i got a quill out1 he gave a yelp4 ,some long quills were fairly easy4 ,but the shorter ones1 near his lips1 were deep in1 and hard to get hold of1 and hard to pull out when you did get hold of them4 ,and with every one that came out1 came a little spurt of blood and another yelp and writhe4 ,the dog wanted the quills out3 but his nerve was gone4 ,every time he saw my hand coming to his nose1 he jerked his head away4 ,i quieted him1 and stealthily managed to jerk out another quill1 with the blood all over my fingers4 ,but with every one that came out1 he grew more tiresome4 ,i tried and tried and tried to get hold of another quill1 and he jerked and jerked1 and writhed and whimpered1 and ran under the porch floor4 ,it was a curiously unpleasant1 nerve-trying job4 ,the day was blazing hot4 ,the dog came out and ,i struggled with him again for an hour or more4 ,then we blindfolded him4 ,but either he smelled my hand approaching his nose1 or some weird instinct told him4 ,he jerked his head1 this way1 that way1 up1 down1 sideways1 roundwise1 as one's fingers came slowly1 slowly1 to seize a quill4 ,the quills on his lips and chin were deep in1 only about a quarter of an inch of white stub protruding from the swollen1 blood-oozed1 festering black skin4 ,it was very difficult to jerk them out4 ,we let him lie for an interval1 hidden in the quiet cool place under the porch floor4 ,after half an hour1 he crept out again4 ,we got a rope round his nose1 behind the bristles1 and one held while the other got the stubs with the pliers4 ,but it was too trying4 ,if a quill came out1 the dog's yelp startled every nerve4 ,and he was frightened of the pain1 it was impossible to hold his head still any longer4 ,after struggling for two hours1 and extracting some twenty quills1 ,i gave up4 ,it was impossible to quiet the creature1 and ,i had had enough4 ,his nose on the top was clear3 a punctured1 puffy1 blood-darkened mess2 and his lips were clear4 ,but just on his round little chin1 where the few white hairs are1 was still a bunch of white quills1 eight or nine1 deep in4 ,we let him go1 and he dived under the porch1 and there he lay invisible3 save for the end of his bushy1 foxy tail1 which moved when we came near4 ,towards noon he emerged1 ate up the chicken-food1 and stood with that doggish look of dejection1 and fear1 and friendliness1 and greediness1 wagging his tail4 ,but ,i had had enough4 8,go home60 ,i said4 8,go home6 ,go home to your master1 and let him finish for you40 ,he would not go4 ,so ,i led him across the blazing hot clearing1 in the way ,i thought he should go4 ,he followed a hundred yards1 then stood motionless in the blazing sun4 ,he was not going to leave the place4 ,and ,i6 ,i simply did not want him4 ,so ,i picked up a stone4 ,he dropped his tail1 and swerved towards the house4 ,i knew what he was going to do4 ,he was going to dive under the porch1 and there stick1 haunting the place4 ,i dropped my stone1 and found a good stick under the cedar tree4 ,already in the heat was that sting-like biting of electricity1 the thunder gathering in the sheer sunshine1 without a cloud1 and making one's whole body feel dislocated4 ,i could not bear to have that dog around any more4 ,going quietly to him1 ,i suddenly gave him one hard hit with the stick1 crying3 8,go home60 ,he turned quickly1 and the end of the stick caught him on his sore nose4 ,with a fierce yelp1 he went off like a wolf1 downhill1 like a flash1 gone4 ,and ,i stood in the field full of pangs of regret1 at having hit him1 unintentionally1 on his sore nose4 ,but he was gone4 ,and then the present moon came1 and again the night was clear4 ,but in the interval there had been heavy thunder-rains1 the ditch was running with bright water across the field1 and the night1 so fair1 had not the terrific1 mirror-like brilliancy1 touched with terror1 so startling bright1 of the moon in the last days of ,june4 ,we were alone on the ranch4 ,madame went out into the clear night1 just before retiring4 ,the stream ran in a cord of silver across the field1 in the straight line where ,i had taken the irrigation ditch4 ,the pine tree in front of the house threw a black shadow4 ,the mountain slope came down to the fence1 wild and alert4 8,come60 said she excitedly4 8,there is a big porcupine drinking at the ditch4 ,i thought at first it was a bear40 ,when ,i got out he had gone4 ,but among the grasses and the coming wild sunflowers1 under the moon1 ,i saw his greyish halo1 like a pallid living bush1 moving over the field1 in the distance1 in the moonlit clair-obscur4 ,we got through the fence1 and following1 soon caught him up4 ,there he lumbered1 with his white spoon-tail spiked with bristles1 steering behind almost as if he were moving backwards1 and this was his head4 ,his long1 long hairs above the quills quivering with a dim grey gleam1 like a bush4 ,and again ,i disliked him4 8,should one kill him80 ,she hesitated4 ,then with a sort of disgust3 8,yes60 ,i went back to the house1 and got the little twenty-two rifle4 ,now never in my life had ,i shot at any live thing3 ,i never wanted to4 ,i always felt guns very repugnant3 sinister1 mean4 ,with difficulty ,i had fired once or twice at a target3 but resented doing even so much4 ,other people could shoot if they wanted to4 ,myself1 individually1 it was repugnant to me even to try4 ,but something slowly hardens in a man's soul4 ,and ,i knew now1 it had hardened in mine4 ,i found the gun1 and with rather trembling hands1 got it loaded4 ,then ,i pulled back the trigger and followed the porcupine4 ,it was still lumbering through the grass4 ,coming near1 ,i aimed4 ,the trigger stuck4 ,i pressed the little catch with a safety-pin ,i found in my pocket1 and released the trigger4 ,then we followed the porcupine4 ,he was still lumbering towards the trees4 ,i went sideways on1 stood quite near to him1 and fired1 in the clear-dark of the moonlight4 ,and as usual ,i aimed too high4 ,he turned1 went scuttling back whence he had come4 ,i got another shell in place1 and followed4 ,this time ,i fired full into the mound of his round back1 below the glistening grey halo4 ,he seemed to stumble on to his hidden nose1 and struggled a few strides1 ducking his head under like a hedgehog4 8,he's not dead yet6 ,oh1 fire again60 cried ,madame4 ,i fired1 but the gun was empty4 ,so ,i ran quickly1 for a cedar pole4 ,the porcupine was lying still1 with subsiding halo4 ,he stirred faintly4 ,so ,i turned him and hit him hard over the nose2 or where1 in the dark1 his nose should have been4 ,and it was done4 ,he was dead4 ,and in the moonlight1 ,i looked down on the first creature ,i had ever shot4 8,does it seem mean80 ,i asked aloud1 doubtful4 ,again ,madame hesitated4 ,then3 8,no60 she said resentfully4 ,and ,i felt she was right4 ,things like the porcupine1 one must be able to shoot them1 if they get in one's way4 ,one must be able to shoot4 ,i1 myself1 must be able to shoot1 and to kill4 ,for me1 this is a volta face4 ,i have always preferred to walk round my porcupine1 rather than kill it4 ,now1 ,i know it's no good walking 'round4 ,one must kill4 ,i buried him in the adobe hole4 ,but some animal dug down and ate him2 for two days later there lay the spines and bones spread out1 with the long skeletons of the porcupine-hands4 ,the only nice thing about him--or her1 for ,i believe it was a female1 by the dugs on her belly--were the feet4 ,they were like longish1 alert black hands1 paw-hands4 ,that is why a porcupine's tracks in the snow look almost as if a child had gone by1 leaving naked little human foot-prints1 like a little boy4 ,so1 he is gone3 or she is gone4 ,but there is another one1 bigger and blacker-looking1 among the west timber4 ,that too is to be shot4 ,it is part of the business of ranching3 even when it's only a little half-abandoned ranch like this one4 ,wherever man establishes himself1 upon the earth1 he has to fight for his place1 against the lower orders of life4 ,food1 the basis of existence1 has to be fought for even by the most idyllic of farmers4 ,you plant1 and you protect your growing crop with a gun4 ,food1 food1 how strangely it relates man with the animal and vegetable world6 ,how important it is6 ,and how fierce is the fight that goes on around it4 ,the same when one skins a rabbit1 and takes out the inside1 one realises what an enormous part of the animal1 comparatively1 is intestinal1 what a big part of him is just for food-apparatus2 for living on other organisms4 ,and when one watches the horses in the big field1 their noses to the ground1 bite-bite-biting at the grass1 and stepping absorbedly on1 and bite-bite-biting without ever lifting their noses1 cropping off the grass1 the young shoots of alfalfa1 the dandelions1 with a blind1 relentless1 unwearied persistence1 one's whole life pauses4 ,one suddenly realises again how all creatures devour1 and must devour the lower forms of life4 ,so ,susan1 swinging across the field1 snatches off the tops of the little wild sunflowers as if she were mowing4 ,and down they go1 down her black throat4 ,and when she stands in her cowy oblivion chewing her cud1 with her lower jaw swinging peacefully1 and ,i am milking her1 suddenly the camomiley smell of her breath1 as she glances round with glaring1 smoke-blue eyes1 makes me realise it is the sunflowers that are her ball of cud4 ,sunflowers6 ,and they will go to making her glistening black hide1 and the thick cream on her milk4 ,and the chickens1 when they see a great black beetle1 that the ,mexicans call a toro1 floating past1 they are after it in a rush4 ,and if it settles1 instantly the brown hen stabs it with her beak4 ,it is a great beetle two or three inches long3 but in a second it is in the crop of the chicken4 ,gone6 ,and ,timsy1 the cat1 as she spies on the chipmunks1 crouches in another sort of oblivion1 soft1 and still4 ,the chipmunks come to drink the milk from the chickens' bowl4 ,two of them met at the bowl4 ,they were little squirrely things with stripes down their backs4 ,they sat up in front of one another1 lifting their inquisitive little noses and humping their backs4 ,then each put its two little hands on the other's shoulders1 they reared up1 gazing into each other's faces2 and finally they put their two little noses together1 in a sort of kiss4 ,but ,miss ,timsy can't stand this4 ,in a soft1 white-and-yellow leap she is after them4 ,they skip with the darting jerk of chipmunks1 to the wood-heap1 and with one soft1 high-leaping sideways bound ,timsy goes through the air4 ,her snow-flake of a paw comes down on one of the chipmunks4 ,she looks at it for a second4 ,it squirms4 ,swiftly and triumphantly she puts her two flowery little white paws on it1 legs straight out in front of her1 back arched1 gazing concentratedly yet whimsically4 ,chipmunk does not stir4 ,she takes it softly in her mouth1 where it dangles softly1 like a lady's tippet4 ,and with a proud1 prancing motion the ,timsy sets off towards the house1 her white little feet hardly touching the ground4 ,but she gets shooed away4 ,we refuse to loan her the sitting-room any more1 for her gladiatorial displays4 ,if the chippy must be 8butchered to make a ,timsy holiday01 it shall be outside4 ,disappointed1 but still high-stepping1 the ,timsy sets off towards the clay oven by the shed4 ,there she lays the chippy gently down1 and soft as a little white cloud lays one small paw on its striped back4 ,chippy does not move4 ,soft as thistle-down she raises her paw a tiny1 tiny bit1 to release him4 ,and all of a sudden1 with an elastic jerk1 he darts from under the white release of her paw4 ,and instantly1 she is up in the air and down she comes on him1 with the forward-thrusting bolts of her white paws4 ,both creatures are motionless4 ,then she takes him softly in her mouth again1 and looks round1 to see if she can slip into the house4 ,she cannot4 ,so she trots towards the wood-pile4 ,it is a game1 and it is pretty4 ,chippy escapes into the wood-pile1 and she softly1 softly reconnoitres among the faggots4 ,of all the animals1 there is no denying it1 the ,timsy is the most pretty1 the most fine4 ,it is not her mere corpus that is beautiful2 it is her bloom of aliveness4 ,her 8infinite variety02 the soft1 snow-flakey lightness of her1 and at the same time her lean1 heavy ferocity4 ,i had never realised the latter1 till ,i was lying in bed one day moving my toe1 unconsciously1 under the bedclothes4 ,suddenly a terrific blow struck my foot4 ,the ,timsy had sprung out of nowhere1 with a hurling1 steely force1 thud upon the bedclothes where the toe was moving4 ,it was as if someone had aimed a sudden blow1 vindictive and unerring4 8,timsy60 ,she looked at me with the vacant1 feline glare of her hunting eyes4 ,it is not even ferocity4 ,it is the dilation of the strange1 vacant arrogance of power4 ,the power is in her4 ,and so it is4 ,life moves in circles of power and of vividness1 and each circle of life only maintains its orbit upon the subjection of some lower circle4 ,if the lower cycles of life are not mastered1 there can be no higher cycle4 ,in nature1 one creature devours another1 and this is an essential part of all existence and of all being4 ,it is not something to lament over1 nor something to try to reform4 ,the ,buddhist who refuses to take life is really ridiculous1 since if he eats only two grains of rice per day1 it is two grains of life4 ,we did not make creation1 we are not the authors of the universe4 ,and if we see that the whole of creation is established upon the fact that one life devours another life1 one cycle of existence can only come into existence through the subjugating of another cycle of existence1 then what is the good of trying to pretend that it is not so8 ,the only thing to do is to realise what is higher1 and what is lower1 in the cycles of existence4 ,it is nonsense to declare that there is no higher and lower4 ,we know full well that the dandelion belongs to a higher cycle of existence than the hartstongue fern1 that the ant's is a higher form of existence than the dandelion's1 that the thrush is higher than the ant1 that ,timsy the cat1 is higher than the thrush1 and that ,i1 a man1 am higher than ,timsy4 ,what do we mean by higher8 ,strictly1 we mean more alive4 ,more vividly alive4 ,the ant is more vividly alive than the pine-tree4 ,we know it1 there is no trying to refute it4 ,it is all very well saying that they are both alive in two different ways1 and therefore they are incomparable1 incommensurable4 ,this is also true4 ,but one truth does not displace another4 ,even apparently contradictory truths do not displace one another4 ,logic is far too coarse to make the subtle distinctions life demands4 ,truly1 it is futile to compare an ant with a great pine-tree1 in the absolute4 ,yet as far as existence is concerned1 they are not only placed in comparison to one another1 they are occasionally pitted against one another4 ,and if it comes to a contest1 the little ant will devour the life of the huge tree4 ,if it comes to a contest4 ,and1 in the cycles of existence1 this is the test4 ,from the lowest form of existence1 to the highest1 the test question is3 ,can thy neighbour finally overcome thee8 ,if he can1 then he belongs to a higher cycle of existence4 ,this is the truth behind the survival of the fittest4 ,every cycle of existence is established upon the overcoming of the lower cycles of existence4 ,the real question is1 wherein does fitness lie8 ,fitness for what8 ,fit merely to survive8 ,that which is only fit to survive will survive only to supply food or contribute in some way to the existence of a higher form of life1 which is able to do more than survive1 which can really vive1 live4 ,life is more vivid in the dandelion than in the green fern1 or than in a palm tree4 ,life is more vivid in a snake than in a butterfly4 ,life is more vivid in a wren than in an alligator4 ,life is more vivid in a cat than in an ostrich4 ,life is more vivid in the ,mexican who drives the wagon1 than in the two horses in the wagon4 ,life is more vivid in me1 than in the ,mexican who drives the wagon for me4 ,we are speaking in terms of existence3 that is1 in terms of species1 race1 or type4 ,the dandelion can take hold of the land1 the palm tree is driven into a corner1 with the fern4 ,the snake can devour the fiercest insect4 ,the fierce bird can destroy the greatest reptile4 ,the great cat can destroy the greatest bird4 ,the man can destroy the horse1 or any animal4 ,one race of man can subjugate and rule another race4 ,all this in terms of existence4 ,as far as existence goes1 that life-species is the highest which can devour1 or destroy1 or subjugate every other life-species against which it is pitted in contest4 ,this is a law4 ,there is no escaping this law4 ,anyone1 or any race1 trying to escape it1 will fall a victim3 will fall into subjugation4 ,but let us insist and insist again1 we are talking now of existence1 of species1 of types1 of races1 of nations1 not of single individuals1 nor of beings4 ,the dandelion in full flower1 a little sun bristling with sun-rays on the green earth1 is a nonpareil1 a nonsuch4 ,foolish1 foolish1 foolish to compare it to anything else on earth4 ,it is itself incomparable and unique4 ,but that is the fourth dimension1 of being4 ,it is in the fourth dimension1 nowhere else4 ,because1 in the time-space dimension1 any man may tread on the yellow sun-mirror1 and it is gone4 ,any cow may swallow it4 ,any bunch of ants may annihilate it4 ,this brings us to the inexorable law of life4 #a4 ,any creature that attains to its own fullness of being1 its own living self1 becomes unique1 a nonpareil4 ,it has its place in the fourth dimension1 the heaven of existence1 and there it is perfect1 it is beyond comparison4 #b4 ,at the same time1 every creature exists in time and space4 ,and in time and space it exists relatively to all other existence1 and can never be absolved4 ,its existence impinges on other existences1 and is itself impinged upon4 ,and in the struggle for existence1 if an effort on the part of any one type or species or order of life1 can finally destroy the other species1 then the destroyer is of a more vital cycle of existence than the one destroyed4 7,when speaking of existence we always speak in types1 species1 not individuals4 ,species exist4 ,but even an individual dandelion has being47 #c4 ,the force which we call vitality1 and which is the determining factor in the struggle for existence1 is1 however1 derived also from the fourth dimension4 ,that is to say1 the ultimate source of all vitality is in that other dimension1 or region1 where the dandelion blooms1 and which men have called heaven1 and which now they call the fourth dimension3 which is only a way of saying that it is not to be reckoned in terms of space and time4 #d4 ,the primary way1 in our existence1 to get vitality1 is to absorb it from living creatures lower than ourselves4 ,it is thus transformed into a new and higher creation4 7,there are many ways of absorbing3 devouring food is one way1 love is often another4 ,the best way is a pure relationship1 which includes the being on each side1 and which allows the transfer to take place in a living flow1 enhancing the life in both beings47 #e4 ,no creature is fully itself till it is1 like the dandelion1 opened in the bloom of pure relationship to the sun1 the entire living cosmos4 ,so we still find ourselves in the tangle of existence and being1 a tangle which man has never been able to get out of1 except by sacrificing the one to the other4 ,sacrifice is useless4 ,the clue to all existence is being4 ,but you can't have being without existence1 any more than you can have the dandelion flower without the leaves and the long tap root4 ,being is not ideal1 as ,plato would have it3 nor spiritual4 ,it is a transcendant form of existence1 and as much material as existence is4 ,only the matter suddenly enters the fourth dimension4 ,all existence is dual1 and surging towards a consummation into being4 ,in the seed of the dandelion1 as it floats with its little umbrella of hairs1 sits the ,holy ,ghost in tiny compass4 ,the ,holy ,ghost is that which holds the light and the dark1 the day and the night1 the wet and the sunny1 united in one little clue4 ,there it sits1 in the seed of the dandelion4 ,the seed falls to earth4 ,the ,holy ,ghost rouses1 saying3 8,come60 ,and out of the sky come the rays of the sun1 and out of earth comes dampness and dark and the death-stuff4 ,they are called in1 like those bidden to a feast4 ,the sun sits down at the hearth1 inside the seed2 and the dark1 damp death-returner sits on the opposite side1 with the host between4 ,and the host says to them3 8,come6 ,be merry together60 ,so the sun looks with desirous curiosity on the dark face of the earth1 and the dark damp one looks with wonder on the bright face of the other1 who comes from the sun4 ,and the host says3 8,here you are at home6 ,lift me up1 between you1 that ,i may cease to be a ,ghost4 ,for it longs me to look out1 it longs me to dance with the dancers40 ,so the sun in the seed1 and the earthy one in the seed take hands1 and laugh1 and begin to dance4 ,and their dancing is like a fire kindled1 a bonfire with leaping flame4 ,and the treading of their feet is like the running of little streams1 down into the earth4 ,so from the dance of the sun-in-the-seed with the earthy death-returner1 green little flames of leaves shoot up1 and hard little trickles of roots strike down4 ,and the host laughs1 and says3 8,i am being lifted up6 ,dance harder6 ,oh wrestle1 you two1 like wonderful wrestlers1 neither of which can win40 ,so sun-in-the-seed and the death-returner1 who is earthy1 dance faster and faster and the leaves rising greener begin to dance in a ring above-ground1 fiercely overwhelming any outsider1 in a whirl of swords and lions' teeth4 ,and the earthy one wrestles1 wrestles with the sun-in-the-seed1 so the long roots reach down like arms of a fighter gripping the power of earth1 and strangles all intruders1 strangling any intruder mercilessly4 ,till the two fall in one strange embrace1 and from the centre the long flower-stem lifts like a phallus1 budded with a bud4 ,and out of the bud the voice of the ,holy ,ghost is heard crying3 8,i am lifted up6 ,lo6 ,i am lifted up6 ,i am here60 ,so the bud opens1 and there is the flower poised in the very middle of the universe1 with a ring of green swords below1 to guard it1 and the octopus1 arms deep in earth1 drinking and threatening4 ,so the ,holy ,ghost1 being a dandelion flower1 looks round1 and says3 8,lo6 ,i am yellow6 ,i believe the sun has lent me his body6 ,lo6 ,i am sappy with golden1 bitter blood6 ,i believe death out of the damp black earth has lent me his blood6 ,i am incarnate6 ,i like my incarnation6 ,but this is not all4 ,i will keep this incarnation4 ,it is good6 ,but oh6 if ,i can win to another incarnation1 who knows how wonderful it will be6 ,this one will have to give place4 ,this one can help to create the next40 ,so the ,holy ,ghost leaves the clue of himself behind1 in the seed1 and wanders forth in the comparative chaos of our universe1 seeking another incarnation4 ,and this will go on for ever4 ,man1 as yet1 is less than half grown4 ,even his flower-stem has not appeared yet4 ,he is all leaves and roots1 without any clue put forth4 ,no sign of bud anywhere4 ,either he will have to start budding1 or he will be forsaken of the ,holy ,ghost3 abandoned as a failure in creation1 as the ichthyosaurus was abandoned4 ,being abandoned means losing his vitality4 ,the sun and the earth-dark will cease rushing together in him4 ,already it is ceasing4 ,to men1 the sun is becoming stale1 and the earth sterile4 ,but the sun itself will never become stale1 nor the earth barren4 ,it is only that the clue is missing inside men4 ,they are like flowerless1 seedless fat cabbages1 nothing inside4 ,vitality depends upon the clue of the ,holy ,ghost inside a creature1 a man1 a nation1 a race4 ,when the clue goes1 the vitality goes4 ,and the ,holy ,ghost seeks for ever a new incarnation1 and subordinates the old to the new4 ,you will know that any creature or race is still alive with the ,holy ,ghost1 when it can subordinate the lower creatures or races1 and assimilate them into a new incarnation4 ,no man1 or creature1 or race can have vivid vitality unless it be moving towards a blossoming3 and the most powerful is that which moves towards the as-yet-unknown blossom4 ,blossoming means the establishing of a pure1 new relationship with all the cosmos4 ,this is the state of heaven4 ,and it is the state of a flower1 a cobra1 a jenny-wren in spring1 a man when he knows himself royal and crowned with the sun1 with his feet gripping the core of the earth4 ,this too is the fourth dimension3 this state1 this mysterious other reality of things in a perfected relationship4 ,it is into this perfected relationship that every straight line curves1 as if to some core1 passing out of the time-space dimension4 ,but any man1 creature1 or race moving towards blossoming will have to draw immense supplies of vitality from men1 or creatures below1 passionate strength4 ,and he will have to accomplish a perfected relation with all things4 ,there will be conquest1 always4 ,but the aim of conquest is a perfect relation of conquerors with conquered1 for a new blossoming4 ,freedom is illusory4 ,sacrifice is illusory4 ,almightyness is illusory4 ,freedom1 sacrifice1 almightyness1 these are all human side-tracks1 cul-de-sacs1 bunk4 ,all that is real is the overwhelmingness of a new inspirational command1 a new relationship with all things4 ,heaven is always there4 ,no achieved consummation is lost4 ,procreation goes on for ever1 to support the achieved revelation4 ,but the torch of revelation itself is handed on4 ,and this is all important4 ,everything living wants to procreate more living things4 ,but more important than this is the fact that every revelation is a torch held out1 to kindle new revelations4 ,as the dandelion holds out the sun to me1 saying3 8,can you take it60 ,every gleam of heaven that is shown--like a dandelion flower1 or a green beetle--quivers with strange passion to kindle a new gleam1 never yet beheld4 ,this is not self-sacrifice3 it is self-contribution3 in which the highest happiness lies4 ,the torch of existence is handed on1 in the womb of procreation4 ,and the torch of revelation is handed on1 by every living thing1 from the protococcus to a brave man or a beautiful woman1 handed to whomsoever can take it4 ,he who can take it1 has power beyond all the rest4 ,the cycle of procreation exists purely for the keeping alight of the torch of perfection1 in any species3 the torch being the dandelion in blossom1 the tree in full leaf1 the peacock in all his plumage1 the cobra in all his colour1 the frog at full leap1 woman in all the mystery of her fathomless desirableness1 man in the fulness of his power3 every creature become its pure self4 ,one cycle of perfection urges to kindle another cycle1 as yet unknown4 ,and with the kindling from the torch of revelation comes the inrush of vitality1 and the need to consume and consummate the lower cycles of existence1 into a new thing4 ,this consuming and this consummating means conquest1 and fearless mastery4 ,freedom lies in the honourable yielding towards the new flame1 and the honourable mastery of that which shall be new1 over that which must yield4 ,as ,i must master my horses1 which are in a lower cycle of existence4 ,and they1 they are relieved and happy to serve4 ,if ,i turn them loose into the mountain ranges1 to run wild till they die1 the thrill of real happiness is gone out of their lives4 ,every lower order seeks in some measure to serve a higher order3 and rebels against being conquered4 ,it is always conquest1 and it always will be conquest4 ,if the conquered be an old1 declining race1 they will have handed on their torch to the conqueror3 who will burn his fingers badly1 if he is too flippant4 ,and if the conquered be a barbaric race1 they will consume the fire of the conqueror1 and leave him flameless1 unless he watch it4 ,but it is always conquest1 conquered and conqueror1 for ever4 ,the ,kingdom of heaven is the ,kingdom of conquerors1 who can serve the conquest for ever1 after their own conquest is made4 ,in heaven1 in the perfected relation1 is peace3 in the fourth dimension4 ,but there is getting there4 ,and that1 for ever1 is the process of conquest4 ,when the rose blossomed1 then the great ,conquest was made by the ,vegetable ,kingdom4 ,but even this conqueror of conquerors1 the rose1 had to lend himself towards the caterpillar and the butterfly of a later conquest4 ,a conqueror1 but tributary to the later conquest4 ,there is no such thing as equality4 ,in the kingdom of heaven1 in the fourth dimension1 each soul that achieves a perfect relationship with the cosmos1 from its own centre1 is perfect1 and incomparable4 ,it has no superior4 ,it is a conqueror1 and incomparable4 ,but every man1 in the struggle of conquest towards his own consummation1 must master the inferior cycles of life1 and never relinquish his mastery4 ,also1 if there be men beyond him1 moving on to a newer consummation than his own1 he must yield to their greater demand1 and serve their greater mystery1 and so be faithful to the kingdom of heaven which is within him1 which is gained by conquest and by loyal service4 ,any man who achieves his own being will1 like the dandelion or the butterfly1 pass into that other dimension which we call the fourth1 and the old people called heaven4 ,it is the state of perfected relationship4 ,and here a man will have his peace for ever3 whether he serve or command1 in the process of living4 ,but even this entails his faithful allegiance to the kingdom of heaven1 which must be for ever and for ever extended1 as creation conquers chaos4 ,so that my perfection will but serve a perfection which still lies ahead1 unrevealed and unconceived1 and beyond my own4 ,we have tried to build walls round the kingdom of heaven3 but it's no good4 ,it's only the cabbage rotting inside4 ,our last wall is the golden wall of money4 ,this is a fatal wall4 ,it cuts us off from life1 from vitality1 from the alive sun and the alive earth1 as nothing can4 ,nothing1 not even the most fanatical dogmas of an iron-bound religion1 can insulate us from the inrush of life and inspiration1 as money can4 ,we are losing vitality3 losing it rapidly4 ,unless we seize the torch of inspiration1 and drop our moneybags1 the moneyless will be kindled by the flame of flames1 and they will consume us like old rags4 ,we are losing vitality1 owing to money and money-standards4 ,the torch in the hands of the moneyless will set our house on fire1 and burn us to death1 like sheep in a flaming corral4 ,,aristocracy ,,aristocracy ,everything in the world is relative to everything else4 ,and every living thing is related to every other living thing4 ,but creation moves in cycles1 and in degrees4 ,there is higher and lower1 in the cycles of creation1 and greater and less1 in the degree of life4 ,each thing that attains to purity in its own cycle of existence1 is pure and is itself1 and1 in its purity1 is beyond compare4 ,but in relation to other things1 it is either higher or lower1 of greater or less degree4 ,we have to admit that a daisy is more highly developed than a fern1 even if it be a tree-fern4 ,the daisy belongs to a higher order of life4 ,that is1 the daisy is more alive4 ,the fern more torpid4 ,and a bee is more alive than a daisy3 of a higher order of life4 ,the daisy1 pure as it is in its own being1 yet1 when compared with the bee1 is limited in its being4 ,and birds are higher than bees3 more alive4 ,and mammals are higher than birds4 ,and man is the highest1 most developed1 most conscious1 most alive of the mammals3 master of them all4 ,but even within the species1 there is a difference4 ,the nightingale is higher1 purer1 even more alive1 more subtly1 delicately alive1 than the sparrow4 ,and the parrot is more highly developed1 or more alive1 than the pigeon4 ,among men1 the difference in being is infinite4 ,and it is a difference in degree as well as in kind4 ,one man is1 in himself1 more1 more alive1 more of a man1 than another4 ,one man has greater being than another1 a purer manhood1 a more vivid livingness4 ,the difference is infinite4 ,and1 seeing that the inferiors are vastly more numerous than the superiors1 when ,jesus came1 the inferiors1 who are no means the meek that they should be1 set out to inherit the earth4 ,jesus1 in a world of arrogant ,pharisees and egoistic ,romans1 thought that purity and poverty were one4 ,it was a fatal mistake4 ,purity is often enough poor4 ,but poverty is only too rarely pure4 ,poverty too often is only the result of natural poorness1 poorness in courage1 poorness in living vitality1 poorness in manhood3 poor life1 poor character4 ,now the poor in life are the most impure1 the most easily degenerate4 ,but the few men rich in life and pure in heart read purity into poverty1 and ,christianity started4 8,charity suffereth long1 and is kind4 ,charity envieth not4 ,charity vaunteth not itself1 is not puffed up40 ,they are the words of a noble manhood4 ,there happened what was bound to happen3 the men with pure hearts left the scramble for money and power to the impure4 ,still the great appeal3 8,the ,kingdom of ,heaven is within you10 acted powerfully on the hearts of the poor1 who were still full of life4 ,the rich were more active1 but less alive4 ,the poor still wanted1 most of all1 the ,kingdom of ,heaven4 ,until the pure men began to mistrust the figurative ,kingdom of ,heaven3 8,not much ,kingdom of ,heaven for a hungry man10 they said4 ,this was a mistake1 and a fall into impurity4 ,for even if ,i die of hunger1 the ,kingdom of ,heaven is within me1 and ,i am within it1 if ,i truly choose4 ,but once the pure man said this3 8,not much ,kingdom of ,heaven for a hungry man10 the ,soul began to die out of men4 ,by the old creed1 every soul was equal in the sight of ,god4 ,by the new creed1 every body should be equal in the sight of men4 ,and being equal meant1 having equal possessions4 ,and possessions were reckoned in terms of money4 ,so that money became the one absolute4 ,and man figures as a money-possessor and a money-getter4 ,the absolute1 the ,god1 the ,kingdom of ,heaven itself1 became money2 hard1 hard cash4 8,the ,kingdom of ,heaven is within you0 now means 8,the money is in your pocket40 8,then shall thy peace be as a river0 now means 8,then shall thy investments bring thee a safe and ample income40 8,l'homme est n libre0 means 8,he is born without a son40 8,et on le trouve partout enchain0 means 8,he wears breeches1 and must fill his pockets40 ,so now there is a new 7a new-old7 aristocracy1 completely unmysterious and scientific3 the aristocracy of money4 ,have you a million gold8 7for heaven's sake1 the gold standard67 ,then you are a king4 ,have you five hundred thousand8 ,then you are a lord4 8,in my country1 we're all kings and queens10 as the ,american lady said1 being a bit sick of certain ,british snobbery4 ,she was quite right3 they are all potential kings and queens4 ,but until they come into their kingdom--five hundred thousand dollars minimum--they might just as well be commoners4 ,yet even still1 there is natural aristocracy4 ,aristocracy of birth is bunk1 when a ,kaiser ,wilhelm and an ,emperor ,franz-,josef and a ,czar ,nicolas is all that noble birth will do for you4 ,yet the whole of life is established on a natural aristocracy4 ,and aristocracy of birth is a little more natural than aristocracy of money4 7,oh1 for ,god's sake1 the gold standard67 ,but a millionaire can do without birth1 whereas birth cannot do without dollars4 ,so1 by the all-prevailing law of pragmatism1 the dollar has it4 ,what then does natural aristocracy consist in8 ,it's not just brains6 ,the mind is an instrument1 and the savant1 the professor1 the scientist1 has been looked upon since the ,ptolemies1 as a sort of upper servant4 ,and justly4 ,the millionaire has brains too3 so does a modern ,president or ,prime ,minister4 ,they all belong to the class of upper servants4 ,they serve1 forsooth1 the public4 8,ca1 ,ca1 ,caliban6 ,get a new master1 be a new man40 ,what does a natural aristocracy consist in8 ,count ,keyserling says3 8,not in what a man can do1 but what he is40 ,unfortunately what a man is1 is measured by what he can do1 even in nature4 ,a nightingale1 being a nightingale1 can sing3 which a sparrow can't4 ,if you are something you'll do something1 ipso facto4 ,the question is what kind of thing can a man do8 ,can he put more life into us1 and release in us the fountains of our vitality8 ,or can he only help to feed us1 and give us money or amusement4 ,the providing of food1 money1 and amusement belongs1 truly1 to the servant class4 ,the providing of life belongs to the aristocrat4 ,if a man1 whether by thought or action1 makes life1 he is an aristocrat4 ,so ,csar and ,cicero are both strictly aristocrats4 ,lacking these two1 the first century ,b4,c4 would have been far less vital1 less vividly alive4 ,and ,antony1 who seemed so much more vital1 robust and robustious1 was1 when we look at it1 comparatively unimportant4 ,csar and ,cicero lit the flame4 ,how8 ,it is easier asked than answered4 ,but one thing they did1 whatever else3 they put men into a new relation with the universe4 ,csar opened ,gaul1 ,germany and ,britain1 and let the gleam of ice and snow1 the shagginess of the north1 the mystery of the menhir and the mistletoe in upon the rather stuffy soul of ,rome1 and of the ,orient4 ,and ,cicero was discovering the moral nature of man1 as citizen chiefly1 and so putting man in new relation to man4 ,but ,csar was greater than ,cicero4 ,he put man in new relation to ice and sun4 ,only ,csar was1 perhaps1 also too much an egoist2 he never knew the mysteries he moved amongst4 ,but ,csar was great beyond morality4 ,man's life consists in a connection with all things in the universe4 ,whoever can establish1 or initiate a new connection between mankind and the circumambient universe is1 in his own degree1 a saviour4 ,because mankind is always exhausting its human possibilities1 always degenerating into repetition1 torpor1 ennui1 lifelessness4 ,when ennui sets in1 it is a sign that human vitality is waning1 and the human connection with the universe is gone stale4 ,then he who comes to make a new revelation1 a new connection1 whether he be soldier1 statesman1 poet1 philosopher1 artist1 he is a saviour4 ,when ,george ,stephenson invented the locomotive engine1 he provided a means of communication1 but he didn't alter in the slightest man's vital relation to the universe4 ,but ,galileo and ,newton1 discoverers1 not inventors1 they made a big difference4 ,and the energy released in mankind because of them was enormous4 ,the same is true of ,peter the ,great1 ,frederick the ,great1 and ,napoleon4 ,the same is true of ,voltaire1 ,shelley1 ,wordsworth1 ,byron1 ,rousseau4 ,they established a new connection between mankind and the universe1 and the result was a vast release of energy4 ,the sun was reborn to man1 so was the moon4 ,to man1 the very sun goes stale1 becomes a habit4 ,comes a saviour1 a seer1 and the very sun dances new in heaven4 ,that is because the sun is always sun beyond sun beyond sun4 ,the sun is every sun that ever has been1 ,helios or ,mithras1 the sun of ,china or of ,brahma1 or of ,peru or of ,mexico3 great gorgeous suns1 besides which our puny 8envelope of incandescent gas0 is a smoky candle-wick4 ,it is our fault4 ,when man becomes stale and paltry1 his sun is the mere stuff that our sun is4 ,when man is great and splendid1 the sun of ,china and ,mithras blazes over him and gives him1 not radiant energy in the form of heat and light1 but life1 life1 life6 ,the world is to us what we take from it4 ,the sun is to us what we take from it4 ,and if we are puny1 it is because we take punily from the superb sun4 ,man is great according as his relation to the living universe is vast and vital4 ,men are related to men3 including women3 and this1 of course1 is very important4 ,but one would think it were everything4 ,one would think1 to read modern books1 that the life of any tuppenny bank-clerk was more important than sun1 moon1 and stars2 and to read the pert drivel of the critics1 one would be led to imagine that every three-farthing whipper-snapper who lifts up his voice in approval or censure were the thrice-greatest ,hermes speaking in judgment out of the mysteries4 ,this is the democratic age of cheap clap-trap1 and it sits in jackdaw judgment on all greatness4 ,and this is the result of making1 in our own conceit1 man the measure of the universe4 ,don't you be taken in4 ,the universe1 so vast and profound1 measures man up very accurately1 for the yelping mongrel with his tail between his legs1 that he is4 ,and the great sun1 and the moon1 with a smile will soon start dropping the mongrel down the vast refuse-pit of oblivion4 ,oh1 the universe has a terrible hole in the middle of it1 an oubliette for all of you1 whipper-snappering mongrels4 ,man1 of course1 being measure of the universe1 is measured only against man4 ,has1 of course1 vital relationship only with his own cheap little species4 ,hence the cheap little twaddler he has become4 ,in the great ages1 man had vital relation with man1 with woman3 and beyond that1 with the cow1 the lion1 the bull1 the cat1 the eagle1 the beetle1 the serpent4 ,and beyond these1 with narcissus and anemone1 mistletoe and oak-tree1 myrtle1 olive1 and lotus4 ,and beyond these with humus and slanting water1 cloud-towers and rainbow and the sweeping sun-limbs4 ,and beyond that1 with sun1 and moon1 the living night and the living day4 ,do you imagine the great realities1 even the ram of ,amon1 are only symbols of something human8 ,do you imagine the great symbols1 the dragon1 the snake1 the bull1 only refer to bits1 qualities or attributes of little man8 ,it is puerile4 ,the puerilty1 the puppyish conceit of modern white humanity is almost funny4 ,amon1 the great ram1 do you think he doesn't stand alone in the universe1 without your permission1 oh cheap little man8 ,because he's there1 do you think you bred him1 out of your own almightiness1 you cheap-jack8 ,amon1 the great ram6 ,mithras1 the great bull6 ,the mistletoe on the tree4 ,do you think1 you stuffy little human fool sitting in a chair and wearing lambs-wool underwear and eating your mutton and beef under the ,christmas decoration1 do you think then that ,amon1 ,mithras1 ,mistletoe1 and the whole ,tree of ,life were just invented to contribute to your complacency8 ,you fool6 ,you dyspeptic fool1 with your indigestion tablets6 ,you can eat your mutton and your beef1 and by sixpenn'orth of the golden bough1 till your belly turns sour1 you fool4 ,do you think1 because you keep a fat castrated cat1 the moon is upon your knees8 ,do you think1 in your woolen underwear1 you are clothed in the might of ,amon8 ,you idiot6 ,you cheap-jack idiot6 ,was not the ram created before you were1 you twaddler8 ,did he not come in night out of chaos8 ,and is he not still clothed in might8 ,to you1 he is mutton4 ,your wonderful perspicacity relates you to him just that far4 ,but any farther1 he is--well1 wool4 ,don't you see1 idiot and fool1 that you have lost the ram out of your life entirely1 and it is one great connection gone1 one great life-flow broken8 ,don't you see you are so much the emptier1 mutton-stuffed and wool-wadded1 but lifeless1 lifeless4 ,and the oak-tree1 the slow great oak-tree1 isn't he alive8 ,doesn't he live where you don't live1 with a vast silence you shall never1 never penetrate1 though you chop him into kindling shred from shred8 ,he is alive with life such as you have not got and will never have4 ,and in so far as he is a vast1 powerful1 silent life1 you should worship him4 ,you should seek a living relation with him4 ,didn't the old ,englishman have a living1 vital relation to the oak-tree1 a mystic relation8 ,yes1 mystic6 ,didn't the red-faced old ,admirals who made ,england1 have a living relation in sacredness1 with the oak-tree which was their ship1 their ark8 ,the last living vibration and power in pure connection1 between man and tree1 coming down from the ,druids4 ,and all you can do now is to twiddle-twaddle about golden boughs1 because you are empty1 empty1 empty1 hollow1 deficient1 and cardboardy4 ,do you think the tree is not1 now and for ever1 sacred and fearsome8 ,the trees have turned against you1 fools1 and you are running in imbecility to your own destruction4 ,do you think the bull is at your disposal1 you zenith of creation8 ,why1 ,i tell you1 the blood of the bull is indeed your poison4 ,your veins are bursting1 with beef4 ,you may well turn vegetarian4 ,but even milk is bull's blood3 or ,hathor's4 ,my cow ,susan is at my disposal indeed4 ,but when ,i see her suddenly emerging1 jet-black1 sliding through the gate of her little corral into the open sun1 does not my heart stand still1 and cry out1 in some long-forgotten tongue1 salutation to the fearsome one8 ,is not even now my life widened and deepened in connection with her life1 throbbing with the other pulse1 of the bull's blood8 ,is not this my life1 this throbbing of the bull's blood in my blood8 ,and as the white cock calls in the doorway1 who calls8 ,merely a barnyard rooster1 worth a dollar-and-a-half4 ,but listen6 ,under the old dawns of creation the ,holy ,ghost1 the ,mediator1 shouts aloud in the twilight4 ,and every time ,i hear him1 a fountain of vitality gushes up in my body4 ,it is life4 ,so it is6 ,degree after degree after degree widens out the relation between man and his universe1 till it reaches the sun1 and the night4 ,the impulse of existence1 of course1 is to devour all the lower orders of life4 ,so man now looks upon the white cock1 the cow1 the ram1 as good to eat4 ,but living and having being means the relatedness between me and all things4 ,in so far as ,i am ,i1 a being who is proud and in place1 ,i have a connection with my circumambient universe1 and ,i know my place4 ,when the white cock crows1 ,i do not hear myself1 or some anthropomorphic conceit1 crowing4 ,i hear the not-me1 the voice of the ,holy ,ghost4 ,and when ,i see the hard1 solid1 longish green cones thrusting up at blue heaven from the high bluish tips of the balsam pine1 ,i say3 8,behold6 ,look at the strong1 fertile silence of the thrusting tree6 ,god is in the bush like a clenched dark fist1 or a thrust phallus40 ,so it is with every natural thing4 ,it has a vital relation with all other natural things4 ,only the machine is absolved from vital relation4 ,it is based on the mystery of neuters4 ,the neutralising of one great natural force against another1 makes mechanical power4 ,makes the engine's wheels go round4 ,does the earth go round like a wheel1 in the same way8 ,no6 ,in the living1 balanced1 hovering flight of the earth1 there is a strange leaning1 an unstatic equilibrium1 a balance that is non-balance4 ,this is owing to the relativity of earth1 moon1 and sun1 a vital1 even sentient relatedness1 never perpendicular3 nothing neutral or neuter4 ,every natural thing has its own living relation to every other natural thing4 ,so the tiger1 striped in gold and black1 lies and stretches his limbs in perfection between all that the day is1 and all that is night4 ,he has a by-the-way relatedness with trees1 soil1 water1 man1 cobras1 deer1 ants1 and of course1 the she-tiger4 ,of all these he is reckless as ,csar was4 ,when he stretches himself superbly1 he stretches himself between the living day and the living night1 the vast inexhaustible duality of creation4 ,and he is the fanged and brindled ,holy ,ghost1 with ice-shining whiskers4 ,the same with man4 ,his life consists in a relation with all things3 stone1 earth1 trees1 flowers1 water1 insects1 fishes1 birds1 creatures1 sun1 rainbow1 children1 women1 other men4 ,but his greatest and final relation is with the sun1 the sun of suns3 and with the night1 which is moon and dark and stars4 ,in the last great connections1 he lifts his body speechless to the sun1 and1 the same body1 but so different1 to the moon and the stars1 and the spaces between the stars4 ,sun6 ,yes1 the actual sun6 ,that which blazes in the day6 ,which scientists call a sphere of blazing gas--what a lot of human gas there is1 which has never been set ablaze6--and which the ,greeks call ,helios6 ,the sun1 ,i tell you1 is alive1 and more alive than ,i am1 or a tree is4 ,it may have blazing gas1 as ,i have hair1 and a tree has leaves4 ,but ,i tell you1 it is the ,holy ,ghost in full raiment1 shaking and walking1 and alive as a tiger is1 only more so1 in the sky4 ,and when ,i can turn my body to the sun1 and say3 8,sun6 ,sun60 and we meet--then ,i am come finally into my own4 ,for the universe of day1 finally1 is the sun4 ,and when the day of the sun is my day too1 ,i am a lord of all the world4 ,and at night1 when the silence of the moon1 and the stars1 and the spaces between the stars1 is the silence of me too1 then ,i am come into my own by night4 ,for night is a vast untellable life1 and the ,holy ,ghost starry1 beheld as we only behold night on earth4 ,in his ultimate and surpassing relation1 man is given only to that which he can never describe or account for2 the sun1 as it is alive1 and the living night4 ,a man's supreme moment of active life is when he looks up and is with the sun1 and is with the sun as a woman is with child4 ,the actual yellow sun of morning4 ,this makes man a lord1 an aristocrat of life4 ,and the supreme moment of quiescent life is when a man looks up into the night1 and is gone into the night1 so the night is like a woman with child1 bearing him4 ,and this1 a man has to himself4 ,the true aristocrat is the man who has passed all the relationships and has met the sun1 and the sun is with him as a diadem4 ,csar was like this4 ,he passed through the great relationships1 with ruthlessness1 and came to the sun4 ,and he became a sun-man4 ,but he was too unconscious4 ,he was not aware that the sun for ever was beyond him1 and that only in his relation to the sun was he deified4 ,he wanted to be ,god4 ,alexander was wiser4 ,he placed himself a god among men4 ,but when blood flowed from a wound in him1 he said1 8,look6 ,it is the blood of a man like other men40 ,the sun makes man a lord3 an aristocrat3 almost a deity4 ,but in his consummation with night and the moon1 man knows for ever his own passing away4 ,but no man is man in all his splendour till he passes further than every relationship3 further than mankind and womankind1 in the last leap to the sun1 to the night4 ,the man who can touch both sun and night1 as the woman touched the garment of ,jesus1 becomes a lord and a saviour1 in his own kind4 ,with the sun he has his final and ultimate relationship1 beyond man or woman1 or anything human or created4 ,and in this final relation is he most intensely alive1 surpassing4 ,every creature at its zenith surpasses creation and is alone in the face of the sun1 and the night3 the sun that lives1 and the night that lives and survives4 ,then we pass beyond every other relationship1 and every other relationship1 even the intensest passion of love1 sinks into subordination and obscurity4 ,indeed1 every relationship1 even that of purest love1 is only an approach nearer and nearer1 to a man's last consummation with the sun1 with the moon or night4 ,and in the consummation with the sun1 even love is left behind4 ,he who has the sun in his face1 in his body1 he is the pure aristocrat4 ,he who has the sun in his breast1 and the moon in his belly1 he is the first3 the aristocrat of aristocrats1 supreme in the aristocracy of life4 ,because he is most alive4 ,being alive constitutes an aristocracy which there is no getting beyond4 ,he who is most alive1 intrinsically1 is ,king1 whether men admit it or not4 ,in the face of the sun4 ,life rises in circles1 in degrees4 ,the most living is the highest4 ,and the lower shall serve the higher1 if there is to be any life among men4 ,more life6 ,more vivid life6 ,not more safe cabbages1 or meaningless masses of people4 ,perhaps ,dostoevsky was more vividly alive than ,plato3 culminating a more vivid life circle1 and giving the clue towards a higher circle still4 ,but the clue hidden1 as it always is hidden1 in every revelation1 underneath what is stated4 ,all creation contributes1 and must contribute to this3 towards the achieving of a vaster1 vivider cycle of life4 ,that is the goal of living4 ,he who gets nearer the sun is leader1 the aristocrat of aristocrats4 ,or he who1 like ,dostoevsky1 gets nearest the moon of our not-being4 ,there is1 of course1 the power of mere conservatism and inertia4 ,deserts made the cactus thorny4 ,but the cactus still is a rose of roses4 ,whereas a sort of cowardice made the porcupine spiny4 ,there is a difference between the cowardice of inertia1 which now governs the democratic masses1 particularly the capitalist masses3 and the conservative fighting spirit which saved the cactus in the middle of the desert4 ,the democratic mass1 capitalist and proletariat alike1 are a vast1 sluggish1 ghastlily greedy porcupine1 lumbering with inertia4 ,even ,bolshevism is the same porcupine3 nothing but greed and inertia4 ,the cactus had a rose to fight for4 ,but what has democracy to fight for1 against the living elements1 except money1 money1 money6 ,the world is stuck solid inside an achieved form1 and bristling with a myriad spines1 to protect its hulking body as it feeds3 gnawing the bark of the young tree of ,life1 and killing it from the top downwards4 ,leaving its spines to fester and fester in the nose of the gay dog4 ,the actual porcupine1 in spite of legend1 cannot shoot its quills4 ,but mankind1 the porcupine out-pigging the porcupine1 can stick quills into the face of the sun4 ,bah6 ,enough of the squalor of democratic humanity4 ,it is time to begin to recognize the aristocracy of the sun4 ,the children of the sun shall be lords of the earth4 ,there will form a new aristocracy1 irrespective of nationality1 of men who have reached the sun4 ,men of the sun1 whether ,chinese or ,hottentot1 or ,nordic1 or ,hindu1 or ,esquimo1 if they touch the sun in the heavens1 are lords of the earth4 ,and together they will form the aristocracy of the world4 ,and in the coming era they will rule the world2 a confraternity of the living sun1 making the embers of financial internationalism and industrial internationalism pale upon the hearth of the earth4 ,,the ,,second ,,book ,,of ,,the ,,centaur ,,press ,,the ,,edition ,,is ,,limited ,,to ,,nine ,,hundred ,,and ,,twenty-,,five ,,copies ,,for ,,sale ,,of ,,which ,,this ,,is ,,number