,! ,works ( ! ,rev4 ,john ,wesley1 ,m4,a4 ,transcrib]'s ,notes ,punctuation has be5 /&>diz$4 ,mo/ ( ! non-common abbreviations us$ to save space 9 pr9t+ h be5 exp&$ to ! non-abbreviat$ =m = easi] read+4 ,! au?or has us$ an a/]isk 7997 to indicate passages he consid]s mo/ wor?y ( att5tion4 ,! text is v inconsi/5t 9 its usage ( quotation m>ks4 ,! transcrib] has attempt$ to make _! use consi/5t ?r\gh\t ?is "w = improv$ readability4 ,*>act]s 9 small caps h be5 replac$ by all caps4 ,non-pr9table *>act]i/ics h be5 giv5 ! foll[+ ,italic text3 -- text emphasiz$ text )9 italics -- text ,?is book 0 writt5 9 a p]iod :5 _m words _h n become /&>diz$ 9 _! spell+4 ,words may h multiple spell+ v>iations or inconsi/5t hyph5ation 9 ! text4 ,^! h be5 left un*ang$ unless indicat$ ) a ,transcrib]'s ,note4 ,! symbol #8' indicates ! description 9 p>5!sis has be5 add$ to an illu/ration4 ,?is may be ne$$ if !re is no caption or if ! caption does n describe ! image adequately4 ,footnotes are id5tifi$ 9 ! text ) a sup]script numb] & are %[n imm$iately bel[ ! p>agraph 9 :i* !y appe>4 ,transcrib]'s ,notes are us$ :5 mak+ corrections to ! text or to provide additional in=mation = ! mod]n read]4 ,^! notes are id5tifi$ by symbols 9 ! text & are %[n imm$iately bel[ ! p>agraph 9 :i* !y appe>4 ,,! ,,works ,,( ,,! ,rev4 ,,john ,,wesley1 ,m4,a4 ,late ,fell[ ( ,l9coln-,college1 ,,ox=d4 ,,volume ,,xii4 ,,bri/ol3 ,pr9t$ by ,,william ,,p9e1 9 ,w9e-,/reet4 ,,mdcclxxii4 ,,! ,,cont5ts ,( ! ,,twelf? ,,volume4 ,an ,extract ( ! ,life & ,dea? ( ,?omas ,wal%4 ,,"p ,,iii4 ,*apt] ,,iv4 ,( 8 la/ sickness4 ,an ,extract ( ! ,life ( ! late ,rev4 ,mr4 ,david ,bra9]d4 ,"p ,i4 ,f 8 bir? to ! "t :5 he began to devote himself to ! /udy ( div9ity4 ,"p ,,ii4 ,f ! "t t he began to devote himself to ! /udy ( div9ity1 till he 0 exam9$ & lic5s$ to prea*4 ,"p ,,iii4 ,f ! "t ( 8 be+ lic5s$ to prea*1 till he 0 appo9t$ mission>y to ! ,indians4 ,"p ,,iv4 ,f ! "t ( 8 be+ appo9t$ mission>y1 to 8 entrance on 8 mission among ! ,indians at ,kaunaumeek4 ,"p ,v4 ,f 8 fir/ beg9n+ to in/ruct ! ,indians at ,kaunaumeek1 to 8 ord9ation4 ,"p ,,vi4 ,f 8 ord9ation1 till he began to prea* to ! ,indians at ,crosweeksung4 ,"p ,,vii4 ,f 8 fir/ beg9n+ to prea* to ! ,indians at ,crosweeksung1 till he return$ f 8 la/ j\rney to ,susquahannah4 ,"p ,,viii4 ,aft] 8 return f 8 la/ j\rney to ,susquahannah1 until 8 dea?4 ,illu/ration3 7 decoration7 ,an ,,extract ( ! ,,life ,,& ,,dea? ,,( ,,?omas ,,wal%4 ,,"p ,,iii4 ,,*apt] ,,iv4 ,( 8 la/ sickness & dea?4 ,,8 /ate ( body 9 g5]al 7z has be5 relat$7 0 t ( a l+]+ dea?1 :i* h[ev]1 be+ int]sp]s$ ) int]vals ( comp>ative heal? & /r5g?1 admitt$ ( 8 /ill go+ on1 9 ! "w ( 8 call+4 ,b by 8 la/ sickness is meant1 t degree ( disease1 :i* admitt$ ( no su* int]val2 & at la/ took him (f entirely1 f all m5tal or bodily lab\r1 & end$ 9 8 removal h5ce4 ,?is 8 la/ illness may be dat$ f ,febru>y #bd1 #ageh1 a few days aft] 8 arrival at ,bri/ol1 9 8 way to ,irel&4 ,aft] prea*+ twice z usual1 & /udy+ h>d all day1 he 0 seiz$ ) viol5t pa9s 9 8 head1 & 9 all 8 bones4 ,he h[ev] rose ! next morn+ at 8 usual "t1 & prea*$2 retir+ aft]w>ds to 8 daily ex]cises2 b /ill feel+ ! pressure ( ! disord]1 8,my body says he1 trembl$ ) weakness1 b my s\l 0 happy 9 ,god60 ,he avoid$ yield+ to 8 pa9s1 & proce$$ 9 8 ,"l's "w z usual1 = sev]al days3 till at l5g? he 0 con/ra9$ to take 8 b$4 ,"h he 0 conf9$ = sev]al days2 & tak+ exact notice1 7z 8 disord] admitt$7 ( ! /ate ( 8 he>t1 accord+ to 8 con/ant cu/om1 & gr[+ some?+ bett]1 he wrote f ! fulness ( 8 he>t 8 /ate & s5tim5ts z foll[s1 8,saturday ,m>* #d4 7,! day he took 8 b$7 good is ?y w ,o ,"l4 ,?y c\nsels ( old are fai?fulness & tru?4 ,?\ reigne/ 9 righte\sness2 ?\gh no man c "k love or hatr$1 by all t is be=e him1 ,ecclesia/es ix4 ,?\ give/ acc\nt ( ?y ways to none2 b assure/ ! righte\s1 t x %all be well ) him2 & t ?y corrections are ) ?is design1 t we may p>take ( ?y hol9ess4 ,i am 9 ?y h&s1 ,o my ,god3 "w ?y p]fect w 9 me1 & su/a9 me 9 ?is trial4 ,i call ^u !e 9 ! day ( tr\ble2 & believe ?\ wilt deliv] me1 & t ,i %all glorify !e1 & praise !e yet m & m4 ,?us 7z he concludes7 ,i w5t to b$ v ill1 & happy4 8,sunday #e4 ,my illness cont9u$ & encreas$4 ,i _h n mu* consolation1 b 0 graci\sly pres]v$ f buffet+s4 ,monday #f4 ,cont9u$ 9 s\l z ye/]day only ) m exam9ation4 ,tuesday #g4 ,i _h sc>cely any alt]ation 9 body or s\l4 ,i cri$ to ,god1 & he he>d me2 b ! sweet & usual returns ( pray] 7 n4 ,w$nesday #h4 ,god gave me to weep mu* = ! s9s ( my :ole life4 ,?ursday #i4 ,my pa9s & pleasures1 corporal & spiritual1 7 z ! day be=e4 ,friday #aj4 ,i _h m consolation ( s\l4 ,saturday #aa4 ,! _s ( pray] 0 pl5tifully imp>t$ to me3 ,i c\ld plead ! m]cies1 & promises1 & m]its ( ,god my ,savi\r1 & 8 love & joy 7 m pl5tifully p\r$ into my s\l4 ,sunday #ab4 ,i _h graci\s intimations ( ! good w ( ,god t[>ds me 9 ?is sickness4 8,monday #ac4 ,i 0 able to read & pray1 & advise fri5ds to love ,god & seek him 9 good e>ne/1 :ile !y _h /r5g?4 ,tuesday #ad4 ,i 0 bett] /ill1 & pray$ = ! increase ( holy love 9 ! *ildr5 ( ,god1 & = ! propagation ( ! fai? 9 all nations40 ,besides ?is daily m9ut+ d[n ! /ate ( 8 s\l1 he on a g5]al review 7z 0 8 con/ant mann] on ^! occasions7 ( ! :ole1 has1 among sev]al o!r p>ticul>s1 ! foll[+ obs]vations1 998,i _h a con/ant witness f ! ,holy ,gho/1 t ,i 0 a *ild ( ,god4 ,h[ev]1 ! s9s ( my :ole life 7 br\ght to my remembrance2 p>ticul>ly ^? ( my he>t2 ! manifold backslid+s kn[n only to ,god4 ,= al?o' ,god pres]v$ me f fall+ ev5 once1 into ^? s9s1 9 :i* ,i liv$ 9 ! days ( my ignorance2 nev]!less ,i saw my pride1 desire1 self-w1 self-indulg5ce1 levity1 & missp5d+ "t4 ,i may add to ^!1 my want ( love to ,god1 *>ity to my neighb\r1 & m s]i\s conc]n = my own s\l4 ,i saw h[ wond]fully ! ,"l _h dealt ) me1 rais+ me f ! du/1 & giv+ me s _m & invaluable bless+s2 s t ,i ought1 m ?an all m51 to s]ve & love him40 ,s sev]e a judge 0 he ( himself1 :ile 9 ! judgm5t ( all :o knew 8 mann] ( life1 he 0 exempl>ily rem>kable = ! direct contr>y4 ,b 8! highe/ flames 7to use ! words ( ! great1 & pi\s bi%op ,taylor7 are ! mo/ tremul\s2 & s ! mo/ holy & em95t religi\s p]sons1 are m full ( awfulness1 & fe>1 & mode/y1 & humility4 ,& x is a sure rule1 t :atsoev] heights ( piety1 union or famili>ity1 any man pret5ds to1 x is ( ! devil1 unless ! great] also be ! humility ( ! man40 8,i 0 moreov] deeply conv9c$ h[ possible1 yea easy x is1 = a p]son aft] hav+ receiv$ great light1 love1 p[]1 & joy1 to fall not)/&+1 into a c]ta9 dulness ( s\l2 & t holy desires1 vehem5t ?ir/+s aft] ,god1 & ! _s ( pray]1 may be less5$1 & lo/4 ,truly we c keep no?+ unless ! ,holy ,gho/ help our infirmities cont9ually4 998,b ! gr& lesson ( all :i* 9 ?is little int]val ,i le>n$ 01 ! absolute necessity ( be+ free f p]sons1 ?+s1 & places4 ,i saw :at a t5d5cy ! s\l has to re/ 9 some?+ beside ,god2 ,i saw t ev5 :5 we give up our belov$ s9s1 & all temporal ?+s1 we are nev]!less apt to re/ 9 ! gifts & graces ( ,god2 mak+ !m z x 7 our ,savi\r1 & com=t] in/ead ( ,*ri/40 998,i saw f>!r1 h[ deeply ! love ( life & le>n+ _h be5 root$ 9 my he>t3 & t ,god saw x necess>y to correct me (t51 to %ew me ! vanity ( bo?40 998,i believe he is resolv$ to save my s\l to ! utt]mo/2 & he uses v>i\s ways to accompli% ?is end4 ,i believe ?is sickness w be ( great s]vice to my s\l1 & p]haps ( m use to ! *ildr5 ( ,god1 ?an my lab\rs c\ld be4 ,my desire is only to live :olly to him1 & to get m ( ! love & life ( ,*ri/4 ,"l look ^u me1 a weak & uncon/ant man1 & /r5g!n1 & e/abli% my he>t ) ?y love4 8,9 exhort+ ! believ]s1 ,i f\nd mu* ( div9e consolation4 ,o h[ sweet 7 ^! two h\rs2 & h[ %ort6 ,love is a wond]ful ?+40 ,sunday #bf4 ,i 0 9 a high fev]1 yet :5 ,i got ) ! family1 ,i =got my pa91 :ile we conv]s$ ( ! love ( ,god4 ,x be+ ,ea/]-day1 ,i exam9$ :at ,i _h ga9$ s9ce la/ ,ea/]8 ,& ,i tru/ ,god has giv5 me m humility1 pati5ce1 & lik5ess to himself40 ,he 0 deta9$ at ,bri/ol1 ?ro' 8 illness1 long] ?an he _h int5d$2 & 0 b slightly recov]$1 :5 he 0 told ( a %ip1 j ready to sail = ,cork4 ,be+ resolv$ on ! j\rney1 & will+ to embrace ! v fir/ opportunity1 weak z he 01 he emb>k$ at ,pill on ! #ac? ( ,april4 ,! passage 0 extremely dang]\s2 insomu*1 t ! m>9]s !mselves1 look$ = no?+ less ?an p]i%+1 s boi/]\s 7 ! w9ds & ! seas4 ,b see ! bless$ness ( be+ true believ]s 9 ,*ri/6 99,?o' !y expect$ e mom5t to g to ! bottom ( ! great deep2 8,yet ,god1 says he1 gave me m fai?1 & pati5ce1 & joy1 ?an ev] ,i felt be=e4 ,i c\ld n see dea? t]rible to me4 ,i pray$1 & prais$ ,god incessantly2 = sleep ,i c\ld n an h\r :ile on bo>d2 & nei!r c\ld ,i eat4 ,b ,*ri/ 0 ) me 9 all1 & support$ me4 ,i plead$ ) ! ,"l 9 behalf ( ! pass5g]s1 besee*+ him t he w\ld n take !m away 9 _! s9s4 ,!y cri$ out vehem5tly1 #8,we are n fit to die6' ,on _! acc\nt ,i did n desire to sleep2 ,i cri$ al\d to ,god 9 pray] 9 ! cabb92 & !y gladly att5d$ !n4 ,on ,saturday ! w9d abat$1 & ! next day we l&$ safe 9 ,cork40 8extremly0 replac$ ) 8extremely0 99,on my he>+ ( 8 arrival 7be+ !n 9 ! c\nty1 & x be+ _m mon?s1 s9ce we p>t$ at ,london7 ,i ha/5$ to see him2 & c nev] =get ! idea1 :i* ! fir/ sight ( him gave me1 ( a man 9 deep fell[%ip ) ,god4 ,on my op5+ 8 room door1 & j appe>+1 he got up f 8 *air1 be+ 9 deep contemplation1 & ) a _s & c\nt5ance1 compos$ & solemn z ! grave1 he said ) a l[ voice1 #8,god bless y4' ,we embrac$ ea* o!r ) te>s2 aft] :i* kneel+ d[n1 he pray$1 z to a pres5t ,god inde$6 ) su* melt+ & mov+ expressions1 & ) su* rev]5tial confid5ce1 z surpass$ all t ,i _h kn[n & admir$ 9 him be=e2 & pla9ly discov]$ 8 hav+ ent]$ s9ce we p>t$1 mu* fur!r into ! holie/1 by ! blood ( ,,jesus4 99,dur+ ! "t he /ay$ "h1 ,i 0 a daily witness ( 8 mann] ( life2 & saw ) mu* conc]n1 8 swift approa*+ end4 ,he _h mo/ ( ! symptoms ( a consumption1 9 its la/ /age3 :i* increas$ ^u him e day4 ,! silv] cords ( life began to loos51 & ! gold5 b[l1 ! :ole ( ?is wond]ful1 & curi\sly wr\ght ma*9e1 to be brok54 ,he _h an int]mitt+ fev]1 :i* return$ regul>ly e day ab\t elev5 o'clock2 an habitual c\gh1 & mo/ pr(use night-sweats2 all :i* _h n[ s emaciat$ & weak5$ him1 t ! m>ks ( dea? already appe>$ ^u him4 ,& yet not)/&+ ?is1 he /ill s desir$ to disc\rse ( ! ?+s ( et]nity1 t1 :ile he 0 at all able to /&1 or speak1 he c\ld n be dissuad$ f prea*+3 & al?o' he br\ght into ! pulpit ! v image ( dea? ^u 8 face1 s t x c\ld h>dly be expect$ he %\ld speak t5 m9utes2 he has nev]!less prea*$ a full h\r1 to ! a/oni%m5t ( all :o he>d him4 ,"o w\ld h ?\ght he mu/ h dropt d[n dead imm$iately aft]4 ,8 int]nal /ate1 /ill ! object ( 8 close att5tion1 dur+ 8 cont9uance at ,cork1 :]e !re is reason to believe he began fir/1 to ?9k1 ?is sickness w\ld be unto dea?1 he summ>ily expresses ?us4 998,saturday ,april #bi4 ,my s\l truly waite? ^u ,god4 ,my body feels pa9 & weakness2 b my s\l enjoys ! liv+ fire ( ! ,holy ,gho/6 ,oh1 may ,i die ! dea? ( ! righte\s3 & let my la/ end be l 86 ,i wait = ?y salvation1 ,o ,"l6 ,weak ,i am1 b _c be mov$ :ile ,jesus is my /r5g?4 ,o t e pa9 may b increase my love to ,god6 ,i am support$ by ! fire )91 & by believ+ t ,jesus is at ! "r-h& ( ,god40 ,! "t be+ come :i* he _h appo9t$ = leav+ ,cork1 & go+ on to ,lim]ick2 be+ att5d$ by 8 own bro!r3 ano!r fri5d & ,i1 accompani$ him a doz5 miles on ! way4 ,at ! inn :]e we /opp$1 he disc\rs$ to u at d9n]1 ( ! ?+s p]ta9+ to ! life ( a ,*ri/ian1 respect+ p>ticul> in/ances ( conduct2 b 8 weakness prev5t$ him say+ z mu* z we c\ld h desir$4 99,i %all nev] =get our p>t+6 ,! o!r p]sons be+ gone d[n /airs1 aft] he _h said "s p>ticul> ?+s to me1 we kneel$ d[n1 & pray$ toge!r1 = ! la/ "t6 ,we !n took our f9al f>ewell ( ea* o!r 9 ?is _w6 ,he w5t on 8 way1 & ,i w5t m9e2 ea* ( u expect+ to meet no m1 till we met 9 happi] climes1 & 9 a bett] _w6 99,i d n f9d1 t f ?is "t1 he kept any fur!r acc\nt 9 writ+1 ( ! daily /ate ( 8 s\l2 ow+1 ,i am incl9$ to ?9k1 to ! viol5ce ( 8 disord]1 :i* increas$ n[1 almo/ e h\r2 & :i* weak5$ & impair$ ! faculties ( 8 m9d1 z well z ! /r5g? ( 8 body4 ,h5ce1 behold+ ?+s ?ro' s defective a m$ium1 he became 9 reality1 an unfit judge ( 8 own /ate4 ,! influ5ce :i* ?is k9d ( disord] 9 p>ticul>1 frequ5tly has ^u ! p[]s ( ! m9d1 is well kn[n1 ev5 to ! repres5t+ ?+s :i* conc]n "o's self1 & o!rs1 (t5 directly contr>y to :at !y really are4 ,he _h ! judgm5t & advice ( ! be/ physicians1 :]ev] he came2 :o on ! slighte/ intimation1 (f]$ _! assi/ance ) all *e>fulness1 nei!r expect+ nor desir+ any o!r gratuity ?an1 7z "o ( !m once express$7 8! pray]s ( ,mr4 ,wal%40 ,!y g5]ally agre$1 t 8 disord] 0 br\ght on ?ro' excessive lab\rfrequ5t1 & l\d prea*+1 int5se application to /udy1 want ( prop]1 & suffici5t re/3 & fatigue 9 g5]al4 ,!y likewise judg$1 t 8 case 0 n[ pa/ all rem$y4 99,x 0 h[ev] judg$ advisable1 t he %\ld be remov$ f ,lim]ick1 to ! m free & op5 air ( ! c\ntry4 ,he w5t ?i!r accord+ly1 :]e he _h ! t5d]e/ & mo/ affectionate att5dance1 ) :atsoev] 0 judg$ mo/ prop] to alleviate ! rig\r ( ! disease1 & re/ore him1 if ,god %\ld s please1 to heal?4 ,b x 0 n[ too late6 ,& 8 fri5ds p]ceiv+1 t nei!r air nor physic avail$ any ?+1 !y accord+ to 8 own incl9ation & desire1 remov$ him to ,dubl94 ,8 next remove1 0 to ! city ( ! great ,k+1 ! p>adise ( ,god6 ,conc]n+ ! /ate ( 8 s\l1 = a few mon?s be=e 8 dea?1 z he wrote no?+ on ! head dur+ t "t1 we c speak ) less c]ta9ty1 ?an ( :at has be5 already relat$4 ,& emb>k+ = ,engl& soon aft] we p>t$1 ,i nei!r saw nor he>d1 any ?+ p>ticul>ly conc]n+ him1 till a lett] br\ght ! tid+s ( 8 be+ no m 9 ?is _w4 ,b f ! acc\nts ( p]sons ( und\bt$ v]acity1 :o att5d$ him dur+ t "t1 we le>n1 t 8 /ate 0 n inde$ joy\s1 b griev\s4 99,he drank ( 8 ,"l's cup ( sorr[1 & 0 9 tru? deeply1 baptiz$ ) 8 baptism4 ,he 0 imm]g$ 9 affliction's furnace & plung$ 9 ! deepe/ wat]s4 8,8 fle% *a/iz$1 ) tort'r+ pa9 ,8 s\l1 & sickness clave 8 bones2 ,ke5 angui% dwelt 9 ev'ry ve91 ,& sadly turn'd 8 brea? to moans4 ,sorr[ 0 all 8 s\l2 he sc>ce p]ceiv'd1 ,b by ! pa9s he suff]'d1 t he liv'd60 ,he 0 tempt$1 & sorely buffet$ ( ! devil4 ,! nature ( 8 disord] expos$ him to a degree ( precipitancy1 & discomposure1 :i* he 0 m ?an sup]ior to1 :ile 9 bett] heal?4 ,9 %ort1 s did ! wisdom ( ,god p]mit1 t ?ro' ! malice ( ,satan1 ! extreme viol5ce ( 8 disord]1 & ! concurr5ce ( sev]al o!r circum/ances1 ?is s]vant ( ,god1 0 br\ght to ! utmo/ extremity ( spiritual di/ress & angui%1 consi/5t ) keep+ ! fai?3 insomu* t x 0 b few degrees remov$ f despair4 8,8 agoniz+ s\l sweat blood6 ,) ,*ri/ he fa9t$ on ! tree1 ,& cry'd 9 dea?1 #8,my ,god1 my ,god1 ,ah6 ,:y ha/ ?\ =sak5 me8'0 99,8 great s\l lay ?us1 z x 7 9 ru9s1 = "s consid]able "t2 & p\r$ out _m a heavy groan1 & spee*less te>1 f an oppressive he>t1 & dy+ body4 ,he sadly bewail$ ! abs5ce ( him1 ^: wont$ pres5ce _h s (t5 giv5 him ! victory1 ov] ! manifold contradictions & tr\bles1 :i* he endur$ = 8 "n-sake4 ,a he>t s s5sible ( ! visits ( its ,"l1 & s re/less at 8 smalle/ abs5ce1 z 8 0 ?r\gh\t 8 w>f>e1 mu/ ne$s be deeply afflict$ :5 left1 seem+ly to its own pov]ty1 & surr\nd$ z x 7 ) ho/s ( inf]nal fi5ds1 seek+ to dev\r him4 ,! int]vals :i* he _h ( cessation f ! extremity ( ! conflict1 & ( comp>atively quiet confid5ce 9 ,god1 are n p]haps s well kn[n3 b t he _h su*1 may well be suppos$2 = o!rwise 8 s\l & fle% mu/ ne$s h fail$ be=e ,god4 ,x 0 h[ev] n till a %ort "t be=e 8 complete & et]nal deliv]ance1 t 8 ,"l appe>$ to 8 help3 & by mak+ himself kn[n1 z ,jesus1 8 well kn[n ,savi\r1 entirely eas$ ! angui% ( 8 oppress$ s\l6 ,! beams ( 8 brightness disp]s$ ! cl\ds3 & ! smiles ( 8 c\nt5ance m ?an comp5sat$ = all 8 night ( sorr[4 ,he spoke & said unto him1 ,! w9t] is pass$2 arise my love & come away6 99,! mann] ( 8 deliv]ance 0 z foll[s4 ,a few fri5ds be+ at pray] ) him1 on ,sunday ev5+2 z soon z !y conclud$1 he desir$ to be left alone1 9 ord]1 z he said1 8to m$itate a little40 ,!y )drew2 & he rema9$ deeply recollect$ = "s "t3 j !n1 ,god1 dropp+ into 8 s\l1 no d\bt1 "s lively =eta/e ( ! joys to come1 & spread+ ! day ( et]nity ?ro' ! regions ( 8 inw>d man2 he bur/ out 9 transport1 & pron\nc$1 9 a dy+ voice inde$1 b ) ! joy ( angels68,he is come6,he is come6,my belov$ is m9e1 & ,i am 86,8 = ev]60 ,& utt]+ ^! words1 he sweetly brea!d out 8 s\l into ! arms ( 8 belov$2 on ! #h? day ( ,april #agei1 & 9 ! #bh? ye> ( 8 age4 ,! ,,conclusion4 ,,we _c suffici5tly admire & adore1 ! unse>*able c\nsels1 & imp5etrable secrets ( ,god our ,savi\r1 ) respect to ! managem5t ( 8 k+dom1 & ! disposal ( 8 s]vants4 ,two reflections are natural1 on consid]+ ! prec$+ acc\nt 9 g5]al4 99#a4 ,to see a man deliv]$ f ! bl9dness ( error & sup]/ition1 & br\ght into ! light & enjoym5t ( tru?2 ! k ( ! true ,god & ( 8 spiritual wor%ipto see him br\ght out f ! obscurity ( retirem5t1 & t by ! rem>kable int]position ( div9e provid5ce1 9 ord] to spread ! sav\r ( ! k ( ,god1 among mank9d1 9 ! mo/ public mann]to consid] him z s+ul>ly fitt$ = ?is1 by k1 by ! ^w ( tru?1 dwell+ ri*ly 9 him2 by purity1 by zeal = ,god's glory1 by ! arm\r ( righte\sness1 & by ! p[] ( ,god1 att5d+ 8 ^w,to see su* an "o cut (f f among m51 9 ! prime ( life1 j fully furni%$ = promot+ ! k+dom ( ! ,son ( ,god1 to :i* he 0 entirely devot$1 is a ?+ :i* w be ackn[l$g$ to conf\nd human und]/&+4 ,)\t entr+ deeply into ! matt]1 "o may easily le>n h]efrom1 at lea/ a confirmation ( t weighty tru?1 t ,god is n wor%ipp$1 or s]v$ by m5s h&s1 z ?o' he ne$$ any p]son or ?+4 ,he leaves no "o any room to say or ?9k )9 !mselves1 t ! cause & glory ( ,god ne$$ !m1 or at lea/ _h "s connexion ) our /&+ or be+ remov$4 ,he is at no "t at a loss h[ to s]ve 8 own glory1 & ! necessities ( 8 creatures4 ,h]eby moreov] he w\ld /a9 ! pride ( human glory2 & tea* u1 :at c nev] be too fully le>n$1 to walk humbly ) our ,god2 n to judge accord+ to appe>ances2 & to le>n to conceive ( ?+s & p]sons1 n accord+ to b>e human e/imation1 b accord+ to ! w ( ,god4 ,o t we may le>n f e occurr5ce1 to fly to him1 9 all our affections & desires6 ,!n :5ev] our *ange comes1 we %all be welcom$ by sup]ior be+s1 & n mu* miss$ by m51 :o delight 9 novelties4 ,:atev] secret reasons might be ! cause ( su* a proc$ure1 9 ! div9e disposals2 :e!r +ratitude1 or some?+ bord]+ ^u idolatry 9 ! p1 or :atev] 0 ! cause1 c]ta9 x is1 t we ne$ nev] fail to reap in/ruction & advantage1 f su* awful provid5ces2 ! decease ( our de>e/ fri5ds1 s9ce 8,= u !y langui%1 & = u !y die60 #b4 ,b :at may seem mo/ /range is1 t a p]son s em95t = piety1 s labori\s = ,god's glory2 s exempl>ily religi\s1 9 ! :ole ( 8 conv]sation2 s useful to o!rs3 9 a ^w1 s entirely1 & unres]v$ly devot$ to ,*ri/1 %\ld 9 ! "t ( 8 greate/ necessity1 be s de/itute ( spiritual com=t4 ,& x mu/ be ackn[l$g$1 9 great measure1 to be a "p ( ^? ways1 ( :i* ,god give? acc\nt to none4 ,8 judgm5ts are unse>*able1 & 8 ways pa/ f9d+ out4 ,8 way is 9 ! sea1 & 8 pa?s 9 ! great wat]s2 & 8 foot/eps are n kn[n4 ,& :o %all say to ,god1 8,:at do/ ?\80 8,:at ,i d ?\ kn[e/ n n[10 is inde$ applicable to ! g5]al c\rse ( ,god's provid5ces2 & to mu* ( ! exp]i5ce ( ,*ri/ians 9 p>ticul>2 & p]haps ?is is ! be/ foot+ on :i* to re/ ! pres5t case1 namely ! my/]i\s c\ncils ( ,god1 ) respect to 8 deal+s ) 8 s]vants3 ) him we are consid]+ 9 p>ticul>4 8judgm5t0 replac$ ) 8judgm5ts0 ,:o c acc\nt = t provid5ce :i* left ! life ( s holy a p]son z ,john ! ,bapti/1 9 su* infam\s h&s6 ,:i* p]mitt$ x to be sacrific$ to ! malice ( an ab&on$ h>lot1 ! petulancy ( a va9 girl1 & ! ra%ness ( a fooli%1 p]haps drunk5 pr9ce1 :o made a prophet's head ! rew>d ( a dance8 ,! same reason+ has weight1 ) respect to ! treatm5t :i* he has p]mitt$ 8 mo/ em95t s]vants 9 all ages to meet )4 ,x is ! fix$ decree ( heav51 conc]n+ ! righte\s1 t ?r\gh mu* tribulation 7outw>d or inw>d1 or bo?7 !y mu/ ent] ! k+dom ( ,god4 ,& ! mo/ "p ( ecclesia/ical /ory1 is 9 great measure no o!r ?an a comm5t on ?is great tru?2 :i* likewise receives abundant confirmation f numb]less p>ts ( holy scripture4 ,!re may be1 = ought t c be kn[n by u1 a c]ta9 resemblance 9 "s p>ticul>s1 betwe5 8 case ( :om we speak1 & t ( ,job 7see *apt] ii4 #cf47 ,b 9 bo?1 & inde$ 9 all resembl+ in/ances1 ! h& ( ! ,"l is visibly se52 t he is pitiful1 & ( t5d] m]cy1 & afflicts 8 *ildr5 only = _! pr(it1 t !y might p>take ( 8 hol9ess4 ,& we are well assur$1 t he w repay 8 s]vants 9 ano!r _w1 = :atev] !y suff] 9 ?is3 ev5 su* z fill up t :i* is beh9d ( ! afflictions ( ,*ri/ 9 _! fle%4 ^w 8(0 remov$ p] ,errata ,z to ! difficulty ( reconcil+ ) 8 =m] enjoym5ts1 & pr(essions1 su* a /ate ( conflict & discom=t1 z ?is 8 la/ /age 0 accompani$ )1 x may be consid]$1 t al?\gh x 0 uncommon1 yet ! case is n s+ul>3 to recite examples w\ld be endless4 ,x is true1 t ,god has giv5 u multiply'd & v>i\s in/ances1 9 ! la/ /ages ( 8 s]vants 9 mo/ ages1 bo? ( triumphant sup]iority to sickness1 pa9 & dea? 9 "s3 ( holy m\rn+1 deep abasem5t1 & pati5t resignation1 9 o!rs3 & !re h be5 ^? likewise1 ^: la/ sicknesses h be5 su* times ( pa9ful purgation f human foibles1 & sore conflict f diabolical temptations1 t ! utmo/ !y h be5 able to d1 has be5 to abide 9 ! furnace2 till pati5ce hav+ _h its p]fect "w1 !y j /ept f ! crossto ! cr[n6 ,witness+1 only ) _! p>t+ brea?1 ,victory6 ,victory6 ,& all ?is x is impossible to acc\nt =1 by appe>ances4 8sickness0 replac$ ) 8sicknesses0 p] ,errata ,?us we he> "o1 9 8 la/ sickness say+1 8,i am by ! wond]ful m]cy ( ,god1 z full ( com=t z my he>t c hold1 ,i feel no?+ 9 my s\l b ,*ri/1 ) :om ,i he>tily desire to be40 ,ano!r1 8,i am l a bird ^u ! w+1 & w\ld fa9 be at ,immanuel's l&1 :]e ! tree ( life is4 ,"h ,i am a weak man1 9 ! h&s ( ! k+ ( t]rors1 rejoic+ 9 hope ( ! glory t %all be reveal$2 & t by ! dea? & resurrection ( a despis$ ,*ri/4 ,all ^! s(t clo!s are l sack clo?1 & yet ,i h p]fect re/ ( _s40 ,ano!r1 8,o h[ does ! love ( ,god wipe (f all pa96 ,! s]vants ( ,god suff] no?+4 ,_! trials are b = a mom5t2 _! joys are et]nal60 ,t5 ?\s& in/ances ( ?is sort might be all$g$1 9 ! pres5t g5]ation 7to look no f>!r7,p]sons :o ?r\gh\t a c\rse ( pa9s & wants1 evid5c$ ! glori\s conque/ :i* fai? gives ov] all our enemies1 & ov] dea?1 ! la/ ( all4 8victori\s0 replac$ ) 8glori\s0 p] ,errata ,!re h be5 ^? on ! o!r h&1 :o aft] a c\rse ( useful & holy liv+2 ( em95cy 9 wisdom1 & 9 fav\r ) ,god1 h nev]!less1 t[>ds ! sett+ ( _! sun1 want$ ^? joy\s beams ( triumphant light & life2 & :o approa*$ _! seat ( repose ) _m te>s & sighs2 ) %ame1 & confusion1 & hopes1 & dep5d5ce2 & ev5 at ! la/1 left no?+ p>ticul>ly memorable1 = ! disc\rse1 & joy ( ! survivors2 b :o not)/&+1 h atta9$ _! wi%$-= port1 & enjoy ! pleasures ( ^? peaceful mansions6 ,john xiv4 #b4 ,/4 ,au/9 is said to h _h ! p5it5tial psalms wrote 9 l>ge *>act]s1 & p9n$ to ! inside ( ! curta9s ( 8 dy+ b$1 desir+ to die z he repeat$ !m ) weep+4 ,bi%op ,u%] foll[$ ! same example & pray$ e>ne/ly to ,god1 to p>don 8 s9s ( omission4 8,:]e conflicts pa/1 r$\ble pres5t joys60 ,div]sity ( complexions1 diff]5t p]iods ( grace1 or div9e disp5sations2 ) a ?\s& p>ticul>s kn[n be/ to ,god1 may be tak5 into consid]ation1 9 attempt+ to acc\nt = ?is diff]5ce 9 ! div9e disposals conc]n+ 8 s]vants4 ,b ,i =be> attempt+ to solve1 t ( :i* ,i am free to pr(ess my ignorance3 & wait = t light1 :i* w infallibly ?r[ full day on d>ke/ sc5es ( "t4 ,x may be f>!r obs]v$ conc]n+ ?is s]vant ( ,god1 t al?\gh 8 com=ts _h be5 exce$+ great ?r\gh\t mo/ "p ( 8 exp]i5ce1 yet he _h frequ5t & viol5t enc\nt]s ) ! enemy3 s t sometimes we f9d 9 ! same p>agraph1 ackn[l$gm5ts ( ! great joy & peace :i* he felt1 & compla9+s ( griev\s temptations & trials4 ,take an in/ance or two among a ?\s&1 9 8 own words4 8,i f\nd 9 retirem5t sore /ruggles & deep consolation40 ,& aga91 al?\gh love & joy liv$ & fl[$ 9 me1 yet ,i wept & made supplication1 be+ /rongly tempt$ ( ! devil4 ,ah1 ,"l6 ,?\ kn[e/ my /ate1 & trials6 ,& my groan+s are n hid f !e6 ,:at conflicts ) myself d ,i daily feel6 ,"s are tempt$ mo/ 9 ! beg9n+ ( _! conv]sion1 "s t[>ds ! latt] end1 & o!rs !re are1 :o are sorely tempt$ ?r\gh\t _! :ole life4 ,! latt] 0 8 case4 ,b n[ especially1 8 natural faculties weakn+ 9 proportion to ! decay ( 8 bodily /r5g?1 r5d]$ him ! fitt] m>k = ,satan1 to attack ) 8 la/ & mo/ viol5t assaults1 :i* !re=e he ply$ to purpose4 ,he c\ld n h[ev] make him let g 8 integrity3 nor did he alt] 8 s5tim5ts1 conc]n+ any po9t ( ,*ri/ian doctr9e1 or retract any ?+ he _h =m]ly said relat+ !reto4 ,& z to ! c\rse ( 8 mo/ secret walk+1 al?o' on ! :ole1 he saw no?+ :]e( to glory 9 himself be=e ,god2 b r 0 cont9ually fill$ ) holy %ame & deep abasem5ts1 at ! disp>ity :i* he /ill p]ceiv$ betwe5 himself & 8 holy ,"l2 yet !re 0 no p>ticul> s9 s9ce 8 conv]sion1 ) ! *]i%+ ( :i* he c\ld *>ge himself4 ,to :i* may be add$1 t 9 ! mid/ ( ?is h\r & p[] ( d>kness1 he nev] once *>g$ ,god fooli%ly2 b on ! contr>y he s\ght to him ) groans1 & te>s1 & cries1 )\t ceas+6 ,8 suff]+s bo? ( body & m9d 7 great beyond description3 b :5 we consid]1 ?us did ,god p]mit conc]n+ him1 x puts to sil5ce e d\btful1 evil reason+ on ! head4 ,by con/itut+ him a p]fect suff]]1 ,god !reby1 made him ! m con=mable to 8 suff]+1 conqu]+ ,son2 t ,man ( sorr[s & acqua9t$ ) griefs6 ,& r5d]$ 8 condition n t ( a ba/>d1 or base-born *ild1 ab&on$ ( ,god1 & reject$2 b on ! contr>y1 t ( a belov$ ,son sc\rg$ & purifi$ by 8 heav5ly ,fa!r1 t he might !reby1 m em95tly p>take ( 8 hol9ess & glory4 ,& %\ld heav5 p]mit 8 convey+ to u 8 pres5t s5tim5ts1 conc]n+ 8 mom5t>y afflictions1 we %\ld c]ta9ly he> him pron\nce to ?is effect4 ,= all ,i bless !e2 mo/1 = ! sev]e2 ,amid/ my li/ ( bless+s inf9ite1 ,/& ?is ! =emo/1 8t my he>t has bl$40 ,he _h hope 9 8 end1 & !re=e ceas$ n to cry to ,jesus1 :o 0 ) him 9 reality all ! :ile1 9 ! furnace2 & f9ally appe>$ 8 fri5d & 8 belov$6 8,try$ to ! la/ b n =sook2 ,b hon\r'd ) di/+ui%'d grace1 ,heav5-w>d he ca/ a dy+ look1 ,& saw once m 8 ,savi\r's face4 #8,he's come6 ,my well-belov'd1 he said1 ,& ,i am 81 & he is m9e6' ,he spake1 he gaz'd1 he b['d 8 head1 ,& sunk into ! arms div9e60 ,on ! :ole1 ,i pr(ess1 t al?\gh on my fir/ he>+ ( ! afflictive sc5e ?r\gh :i* he pass$1 ,i 0 m a/oni%$ ?an at any ?+ ,i ev] rememb] to h happ5$ to myself or o!rs2 rema9+ 9 dumb susp5se1 at :at c\ld be ! cause ( s unexpect$ a proc$ure8 ,nev]!less1 ,i am n[ incl9$ to consid] ! :ole affair z an argum5t1 r ( 8 /r5g? ?an ! contr>y4 ,8 support+ at all "u su* extreme suff]+s1 n a little demon/rates 8 great s\l1 & ne>ness ( con=mity to ,god 8 ,savi\r1 8,:o drank 9 8 sad days ( fle% ,! potion by 8 ,fa!r giv52 ,& bids 8 memb]s feel afre% ,! fi]c5ess ( ! wra? ( heav540 ,if ?\ fa9te/1 sai? ,solomon 9 ! day ( adv]sity1 ?y /r5g? is b small3 & by p>ity ( reason1 to /& 9 a "t ( sore trial argues proportionable /r5g?4 ,av]t1 my ,god1 av]t f my s\l1 ill able to be> x1 su* a "t ( trial6 ,o ,jesus1 by all ?\ ha/ done & suff]$2 by ?9e agony1 & bloody sweat1 by ?y cross & bitt] passion1 by ?y m]itori\s dea?2 ?y re/+ 9 ! *amb]s ( ! grave1 ?y triumphant resurrection1 & asc5sion2 & by ?y com+ aga9 9 glory2 9 ! "t ( sickness1 9 dea?1 & 9 judgm5t1 deliv] my s\l1 ,i besee* !e6 ,9 ?y fair book ( life div9e1 ,my ,god inscribe my "n2 ,!re let me fill "s humble %r9e1 ,b5ea? ! slaught]'d ,lamb6 ,o might ,i ) my clos+ eyes1 ,!e 9 ?y bloody ve/ure see1 ,& ca/ me on ?y sacrifice1 ,jesus1 my ,"l1 rememb] me6 8p>t+ brea?0 replac$ ) 8clos+ eyes0 p] ,errata ,! ?\ghts ( be+ quickly loos$ f ! fett]s ( ! body1 _h (t5 fill$ 8 s\l ) ! mo/ s5sible delights1 desir+ no?+ s mu* z to see ,god3 & ! approa*es ( et]nity did (t5 s enflame 8 desires1 t he 0 sometimes 9 a degree ( transport4 ,b aft] all t c be said on ! head ( ?is 8 la/ sc5e1 & inde$ ( ! me?ods ( ,god's provid5tial disp5sations 9 g5]al1 conc]n+ nations or individual p]sons1 x seems ! wise/ & be/ me?od to re/ 9 t s5tim5t1 namely n curi\sly to scan !m2 b r to adore 9 humble sil5ce1 8 unse>*able judgm5ts & imp5etrable secrets6 ,n deeply to disc]n n mu* to "k1 ,mank9d 0 born to wond] & adore6 ,:atev] is p]mitt$ to befal !m 9 ?is _w1 we are well assur$ x %all be well ) ! righte\s4 ,all ?+s1 :e!r prosp]\s or adv]se1 %all "w toge!r = _! good4 ,he t live? =ev] sai?1 ,i come quicklyto put a f9al p]iod to ! :ole ( mortal ?+s1 & det]m9e ! /ates ( all ! *ildr5 ( ,adam = ev]6 ,8 rew>d is ) him6 ,we %all see him z he is6 ,?\gh n[ we see him n1 yet believ+ we rejoice6 ,o ,jesus1 "w 9 our he>ts t con=mity to & resemblance ( ?yself1 t we may seek no?+1 b night & day ?9k (1 long =1 & joyfully wait = ?9e appe>ance6 ,an ,,extract ( ! ,,life ,,( ,,! ,,late ,rev4 ,mr4 ,,david ,,bra9]d1 ,,mission>y to ! ,,indians4 ,,adv]tisem5t4 ,,^? p>ts ( ! foll[+ hi/ory t are includ$ betwe5 brackets ?us 1 are ! words ( ! publi%]1 ,mr4 ,jona?an ,edw>ds1 m9i/] ( ,nor?ampton 9 ,new-,engl&1 = ! mo/ "p summ>ily repres5t+ ! *ief ?+s conta9$ 9 ,mr4 ,bra9]d's di>y3 ! re/ is ! acc\nt t he gives ( himself 9 8 private writ+s1 9 8 own words4 ,,"p ,i4 ,f 8 bir? to ! "t :5 he began to devote himself to ! /udy ( div9ity4 ,,mr4 ,david ,bra9]d 0 born ,april #bj1 #agah1 at ,haddam1 a t[n belong+ to ! c\nty ( ,h>t=d1 9 ! colony ( ,connecticut1 ,new-,engl&4 ,8 fa!r1 :o di$ :5 he 0 ab\t n9e ye>s ( age1 0 ! wor%ipful ,hezekiah ,bra9]d1 ,esq4 "o ( 8 ,maje/y's c\ncil = t colony1 & ! son ( ,daniel ,bra9]d1 ,esq4 a ju/ice ( ! peace1 & a deacon ( ! *ur* 9 ,haddam4 ,8 "m 0 ,mrs4 ,doro?y ,hob>t1 daught] to ! ,rev4 ,mr4 ,j]emiah ,hob>t1 :o prea*$ a:ile at ,topsfield1 & !n remov$ to ,hemp/ead1 on ,long-,isl&1 & aft]w>ds came & settl$ 9 ! "w ( ! m9i/ry at ,haddam2 :]e he di$ 9 ! #he? ye> ( 8 age2 ( :om x is rem>kable1 t he w5t to ! public wor%ip 9 ! =5oon1 & di$ 9 8 *air betwe5 meet+s4 8m9i/y0 replac$ ) 8m9i/ry0 ,mr4 ,david ,bra9]d 0 ! ?ird son ( 8 p>5ts4 ,!y _h five sons & f\r daught]s4 ,! elde/ son is ,hezekiah ,bra9]d1 ,esq4 a ju/ice ( ! peace1 & = sev]al ye>s pa/ a repres5tative ( ! t[n ( ,haddam1 9 ! g5]al assembly ( ,connecticut colony2 ! second 0 ! ,rev4 ,nehemiah ,bra9]d1 a wor?y m9i/] at ,ea/bury 9 ,connecticut1 :o di$ ( a consumption ,novemb] #aj1 #agdb2 ! #d? is ,mr4 ,john ,bra9]d1 :o succe$s 8 bro!r ,david z mission>y to ! ,indians1 & pa/or ( ! same *ur* ( ,*ri/ian ,indians 9 ,new-,j]sey2 & ! #e? 0 ,israel1 late /ud5t at ,yale-college 9 ,new-,hav51 :o di$ s9ce 8 bro!r ,david4,mrs4 ,doro?y ,bra9]d hav+ liv$ sev]al ye>s a wid[1 di$ :5 h] son ,david 0 ab\t #ad ye>s ( age3 s t 9 8 y\? he 0 left bo? fa!rless & mo!rless4 ,:at acc\nt he has giv5 ( himself foll[s4 ,i ,,0 f my y\? some?+ sob] & incl9$ to melan*oly1 b d n rememb] any conviction ( s91 till ,i 0 sev5 or eight ye>s ( age2 :5 ,i grew t]rifi$ at ! ?\ghts ( dea?1 b ?is conc]n 0 %ort liv$4 ,h[ev]1 ,i sometimes att5d$ secret pray]2 & ?us liv$ at ease till ,i 0 above ?irte5 ye>s ( age4 ,b 9 ! w9t] #agcb1 ,i 0 some?+ r\s$ by ! prevail+ ( a mortal sickness 9 ,haddam4 ,i 0 frequ5t1 con/ant1 & some?+ f]v5t 9 duties1 & took delight 9 read+1 especially ,mr4 ,janeway's ,tok5 = ,*ildr52 ,i 0 sometimes mu* melt$ 9 duties1 & took great delight 9 ! p]=mance ( !m4 ,! ,_s ( ,god at ?is "t proce$$ f> ) me2 ,i 0 rem>kably dead to ! _w1 & my ?\ghts 7 almo/ :olly employ$ ab\t my s\l's conc]ns6 ,i may inde$ say1 8,almo/ ,i 0 p]suad$ to be a ,*ri/ian40 ,i 0 also exce$+ly di/ress$ at ! dea? ( my "m1 9 ,m>*1 #agcb4 ,b aft]w>ds ,i by degrees fell back into security1 ?\gh ,i /ill att5d$ to secret pray]4 ,ab\t ! #ae? ( ,april #agcc1 ,i remov$ to ,ea/-,haddam1 :]e ,i sp5t f\r ye>s4 ,"h ,i w5t a r\nd ( secret duty4 ,i 0 n mu* addict$ to "y company3 b :5 ,i did g into x1 x always add$ new guilt to me1 & made me afraid to come to ! ?rone ( grace4 ,ab\t ! latt] end ( ,april #agcg1 be+ full n9ete51 ,i remov$ to ,durham1 & began to "w on my f>m1 & s cont9u$ till ,i 0 tw5ty ye>s old2 ?o' frequ5tly long+ aft] a lib]al education4 ,:5 ,i 0 ab\t tw5ty1 ,i appli$ myself to /udy1 & 0 engag$ m ?an ev] 9 ! duties ( religion4 ,i became v wat*ful ov] my ?\ghts1 words & actions1 because ,i design$ to devote myself to ! m9i/ry4 ,"s "t 9 ,april #agch1 ,i w5t to ,mr4 ,fiske's1 & liv$ ) him dur+ 8 life4 ,he advis$ me :olly to ab&on "y company1 & associate myself ) grave eld]ly p3 :i* c\nsel ,i foll[$2 & my mann] ( life 0 n[ exce$+ regul>4 ,i read my bible m ?an twice ?r\gh 9 less ?an a ye>4 ,i sp5t mu* "t e day 9 secret-duties2 ,i gave great att5tion to ! ^w prea*$1 & endeav\r$ to reta9 x4 ,i agre$ ) "s "y p]sons to meet on sabba?-ev5+s = religi\s ex]cises2 & aft] our meet+ 0 end$1 ,i us$ to repeat ! disc\rses ( ! day to myself1 ?\gh sometimes x 0 late 9 ! night4 ,on ,monday morn+s ,i us$ to recollect ! same s]mons4 ,& ,i _h sometimes consid]able mov+s ( affections 9 duties1 & mu* pleasure !re94 ,mr4 ,fiske 0 pa/or ( ! *ur* 9 ,haddam4 ,aft] ,mr4 ,fiske's dea?1 ,i proce$$ 9 my le>n+ ) my bro!r1 & 0 /ill v con/ant 9 religi\s duties4 ,?us ,i proce$$ on a self-righte\s f\ndation2 & %\ld /ill _h n ! m]e m]cy ( ,god prev5t$4 ,i d\bt t3 ,i believe1 ?is 0 true religion z f> z x w5t4 ,9 ! beg9n+ ( w9t]1 #agch1 x pleas$ ,god "o sabba?-day morn+1 z ,i 0 walk+ out = secret duties1 to give me on a sudd51 su* a s5se ( my dang]1 & ! wra? ( ,god1 t ,i /ood amaz$1 & 0 mu* di/ress$ all t day1 fe>+ ! v5geance ( ,god w\ld soon ov]take me4 ,i kept mu* alone1 & sometimes grudg$ ! birds & bea/s _! happ9ess1 because !y 7 n expos$ to et]nal mis]y1 z ,i saw ,i 04 ,& ?us ,i liv$ f day to day1 9 great di/ress3 sometimes !re appe>$ m\nta9s be=e me to ob/ruct my hopes ( m]cy2 ,i us$1 h[ev] to pray & cry to ,god1 & p]=m o!r duties ) great e>ne/ness4 ,9 ,febru>y1 #agchi1 ,i set ap>t a day = secret fa/+ & pray]1 & sp5t ! day 9 almo/ incessant cries to ,god1 t he w\ld op5 my eyes to see ! evil ( s91 & ! way ( life by ,jesus ,*ri/4 ,& ,god 0 pleas$ t day to make consid]able discov]ies ( my he>t to me1 & to %ew me my helplessness4 ,i con/antly /rove aft] :atev] qualifications ,i imag9$ o!rs obta9$ be=e ! reception ( ,*ri/4 ,sometimes ,i felt ! p[] ( an h>d he>t1 & suppos$ x mu/ be s(t5$ be=e ,*ri/ w\ld accept ( me2 & :5 ,i felt any melt+s ( he>t1 ,i hop$ n[ ! "w 0 almo/ done2 & h5ce1 :5 my di/ress /ill rema9$1 ,i 0 wont to murmur at ,god's deal+s ) me4 99,sometimes ,i grew remiss )\t any great convictions = a consid]able "t toge!r2 b aft] su* a season1 convictions seiz$ me m viol5tly4 ,"o night 9 p>ticul>1 :5 ,i 0 walk+ solit>ily abroad1 ,i _h su* a view ( my s91 t ,i fe>$ ! gr\nd w\ld cleave asund]1 & s5d my s\l quick into hell4 ,& ?\gh ,i 0 =c$ to g to b$1 le/ my di/ress %\ld be discov]$ by o!rs2 yet ,i sc>ce dur/ sleep at all1 = ,i ?\ght x w\ld be a great wond]1 if ,i %\ld be out ( hell 9 ! morn+4 ,b ?\gh my di/ress 0 ?us great1 yet ,i dread$ ! loss ( convictions1 & return+ back to my =m] ins5sibility2 :i* made me exce$+ exact 9 my behavi\r1 le/ ,i %\ld /ifle ! motions ( ,god's _s4 ,! _m di/resses ,i met )1 put me into a mo/ horrible conte/+ ) ! ,almighty3 ) an inw>d vehem5ce1 f9d+ fault ) 8 ways ( deal+ ) mank9d4 ,i f\nd great fault ) ! imputation ( ,adam's s9 to 8 po/]ity2 & my wick$ he>t (t5 wi%$ = "s o!r way ( salvation1 ?an by ,jesus ,*ri/4 ,i wi%$ sometimes !re 0 no ,god1 or t !re 7 "s o!r ,god t c\ld contr\l him4 ,^! ?\ghts frequ5tly pass$ be=e ,i 0 aw>e2 b1 :5 ,i consid]$ ?is1 x di/ress$ me1 to ?9k1 t my he>t 0 s full ( enmity aga9/ ,god2 & x made me tremble1 le/ ,god's v5geance %\ld sudd5ly fall ^u me4 ,i us$ be=e1 to imag9e my he>t 0 n s bad1 z ! scriptures repres5t$4 ,sometimes ,i us$ to take mu* pa9s to br+ x into an humble submissive disposition2 b on a sudd51 ! ?\ghts ( ! /rictness ( ! law1 or ! sov]eignty ( ,god1 w\ld s irritate ! corruption ( my he>t1 t x w\ld break ov] all b\nds1 & bur/ =? on all sides1 l floods ( wat]s :5 !y break d[n _! damm4 ,:ile ,i 0 9 ?is di/ress$ /ate1 ! corruption ( my he>t 0 especially irritat$ by ^! ?+s foll[+1 #a4 ,! /rictness ( ! div9e law4 ,= ,i f\nd x 0 impossible = me 7aft] my utmo/ pa9s7 to answ] ! dem&s ( x4 ,i (t5 made resolutions1 & z (t5 broke !m4 ,i imput$ ! :ole to want ( be+ m wat*ful1 & us$ to call myself a fool = my neglig5ce4 ,b :51 ^u a /rong] resolution1 & great] endeav\rs1 fa/+ & pray]1 ,i f\nd all attempts fail1 !n ,i qu>rell$ ) ! law ( ,god1 z unreasonably rigid4 ,i ?\ght1 if x ext5d$ only to my outw>d actions1 ,i c\ld be> ) x2 b ,i f\nd x condemn$ me = ! s9s ( my he>t1 :i* ,i c\ld n possibly prev5t4 ,i 0 extremely loa? to give out1 & own my utt] helplessness2 b aft] repeat$ disappo9tm5ts1 ?\ght t1 r ?an p]i%1 ,i c\ld d a little m /ill1 especially if su* & su* circum/ances might b att5d my endeav\rs2 ,i hop$1 t ,i %\ld /rive m e>ne/ly ?an ev]3 & ?is hope ( future m fav\rable circum/ances1 & ( do+ some?+ h]eaft]1 kept me f utt] despair ( myself1 & f see+ myself fall5 into ! h&s ( ,god1 & dep5d5t on no?+ b b\ndless grace4 99#b4 ,ano!r ?+ 01 t fai? alone 0 ! condition ( salvation2 & t ,god w\ld n come d[n to l[] t]ms2 t he w\ld n promise life & salvation ^u my s9c]e pray]s & endeav\rs4 ,t ^w1 ,m>k xvi4 #af4 8,he t believe? n1 %all be damn$10 cut (f all hope !re2 & ,i f\nd1 fai? 0 ! gift ( ,god2 t ,i c\ld n get x ( myself1 & c\ld n oblige ,god to be/[ x ^u me1 by any ( my p]=mances4 8,?is10 ,i 0 ready to say1 8is a h>d say+1 :o c be> x80 ,i c\ld n be>1 t all ,i _h done %\ld /& = a m]e no?+1 :o _h be5 v consci5ti\s 9 duty1 & _h be5 exce$+ religi\s a great :ile1 & _h 7z ,i ?\ght7 done mu* m ?an _m o!rs t _h obta9$ m]cy4 ,i confess$ inde$ ! vil5ess ( my duties2 b !n1 :at made !m at t "t seem vile1 0 my w&]+ ?\ghts 9 !m2 n because ,i 0 all ov] defil$1 & ! pr9ciple corrupt f :5ce !y fl[$1 s t ,i c\ld n possibly d any ?+ t 0 good4 ,& !re=e ,i call$ :at ,i did1 by ! "n ( fai?ful endeav\rs2 & c\ld n be> x1 t ,god _h made no promises ( salvation to !m4 99#c4 ,ano!r ?+ 01 t ,i c\ld n f9d out h[ to come to ,*ri/4 ,i read ! calls ( ,*ri/1 made to ! we>y & heavy lad52 b c\ld f9d no way t he direct$ !m to come 94 ,i ?\ght ,i w\ld gladly come1 if ,i knew h[1 ?\gh ! pa? ( duty direct$ to :at 0 nev] s difficult4 ,mr4 ,/odd>d's ,guide to ,*ri/ did n tell me any ?+ ,i c\ld d1 t w\ld br+ me to ,*ri/1 b left me z x 7 ) a great gulph betwe5 me & ,*ri/1 )\t any direction to get ?r\gh4 ,= ,i 0 n yet exp]im5tally taught1 t !re c\ld be no way prescrib$1 :]eby a natural man c\ld ( 8 own /r5g?1 obta9 t :i* is sup]natural1 & :i* ! highe/ angel _c give4 99,all ?is "t ! ,_s ( ,god 0 p[]fully at "w ) me2 & ,i 0 inw>dly press$ to rel9qui% all self-confid5ce1 all hopes ( ev] help+ myself by any means :atsoev]2 & ! conviction ( my lo/ e/ate 0 sometimes s cle>1 t x 0 z if x _h be5 decl>$ to me 9 s _m words1 8,x is done1 x is = ev] impossible to deliv] y\rself40 ,= ab\t ?ree or f\r days1 my s\l 0 ?us di/ress$1 especially at "s turns1 :5 = a few mom5ts ,i seem$ to myself lo/ & undone3 b !n w\ld %r9k back imm$iately f ! sight1 because ,i d>$ n v5ture myself into ! h&s ( ,god1 z :olly helpless4 ,i d>$ n see t important tru?1 t ,i 0 dead 9 trespasses & s9s4 ,b :5 ,i _h ?ru/ away ^! views ( myself at any "t1 ,i 0 di/ress$ to h ! same discov]ies aga93 = ,i greatly fe>$ be+ giv5 ov] ( ,god to f9al /upidity4 ,:5 ,i ?\ght ( putt+ x (f to a m conv5i5t season1 ! conviction 0 s p[]ful ) reg>d to ! pres5t "t1 t x 0 ! be/ "t1 & probably ! only "t1 t ,i d>$ n to put x (f4 ,yet my s\l %rank away f x2 ,i c\ld see no safety 9 ?r[+ myself into ! h&s ( ,god1 & t ,i c\ld lay no claim to any ?+ bett] ?an damnation4 99,b aft] a consid]able "t sp5t 9 su* di/resses1 "o morn+1 :ile ,i 0 walk+ 9 a solit>y place1 z usual1 ,i at once saw t all my contrivances to procure salvation = myself1 7 utt]ly 9 va93 ,i 0 br\ght q to a /& z f9d+ myself totally lo/4 ,i _h ?\ght _m times1 t ! difficulties 7 v great2 b n[ ,i saw1 t x 0 = ev] impossible = me to d any ?+ t[>ds deliv]+ myself4 ,i !n blam$ myself1 t ,i _h n done m1 :ile ,i _h opportunity2 7= x seem$ n[ z if ! season ( do+ 0 = ev] ov] & gone47 ,b ,i in/antly saw1 t let me h done :at ,i w\ld1 x w\ld no m h t5d$ to my help+ myself1 ?an :at ,i _h done2 t ,i _h made all ! pleas ,i ev] c\ld h made to all et]nity2 & t all my pleas 7 va94 ,! tumult t _h be5 be=e 9 my m9d1 0 n[ quiet$2 & ,i 0 some?+ eas$ ( t di/ress1 :i* ,i felt1 :ile /ruggl+ aga9/ a sight ( myself4 ,i _h ! greate/ c]ta9ty t my /ate 0 =ev] mis]able1 = all t ,i c\ld d3 & 0 a/oni%$ t ,i _h nev] be5 s5sible ( x be=e4 ,:ile ,i rema9$ 9 ?is /ate1 my notions respect+ my duties1 7 q diff]5t f :at ,i _h ev] ent]ta9$ 9 times pa/4 ,n[ ,i saw1 !re 0 no necess>y connection betwe5 my pray]s & ! div9e m]cy3 t !y laid n ! lea/ obligation ^u ,god to be/[ 8 grace ^u me2 & t !re 0 no m goodness 9 !m1 ?an !re w\ld be 9 my paddl+ ) my h& 9 ! wat]2 & ?is because !y 7 n p]=m$ f any love to ,god4 ,i saw t ,i _h heap$ up my devotions be=e ,god1 fa/+1 pray+1 c4 really ?9k+ ,i 0 aim+ at ! glory ( ,god2 :]eas ,i nev] once truly int5d$ x4 ,i d\bt t4 ,i cont9u$ 9 ?is /ate ( m9d f ,friday morn+ till ! sabba?-ev5+ foll[+1 ,july #ab1 #agci1 :5 ,i 0 walk+ aga9 9 ! same solit>y place1 & attempt+ to pray1 b f\nd no he>t to engage 9 t or any o!r duty4 ,hav+ be5 ?us endeav\r+ to pray = ne> half an h\r1 7& by ?is "t ! sun 0 ab\t half an h\r high7 z ,i 0 walk+ 9 a d>k ?ick grove1 unspeakable glory op5$ to ! view ( my s\l3 ,i d n mean any ext]nal brightness1 b a new inw>d appreh5sion or view t ,i _h ( ,god1 su* z ,i nev] _h be=e4 ,i /ood /ill & admir$6 ,i _h nev] se5 be=e any ?+ comp>able to x = excell5cy & beauty2 x 0 widely diff]5t f all ! conceptions t ev] ,i _h ( ,god1 or ?+s div9e4 ,i _h no p>ticul> appreh5sion ( any "o p]son 9 ! ,tr9ity1 ei!r ! ,fa!r1 ! ,son1 or ! ,holy ,gho/2 b x appe>$ to be div9e glory t ,i !n beheld2 & my s\l rejoic$ ) joy unspeakable1 to see su* a ,god1 su* a glori\s div9e be+2 & ,i 0 inw>dly pleas$ & satisfi$1 t he %\ld be ,god ov] all = ev] & ev]4 ,my s\l 0 s captivat$ & delight$ ) ! excell5cy1 lovel9ess1 greatness1 & o!r p]fections ( ,god1 t ,i 0 ev5 swall[$ up 9 him1 s t at fir/1 ,i sc>ce reflect$ !re 0 su* a creature z myself4 8r]ejoic$0 replac$ ) 8rejoic$0 ,?us ,god1 br\ght me to a he>ty disposition to exalt him1 & to aim at 8 glory1 z ,k+ ( ! univ]se4 ,i cont9u$ 9 ?is /ate till ne> d>k1 )\t any s5sible abatem5t2 & !n began to ?9k :at ,i _h se52 & 0 sweetly compos$ all ! ev5+ foll[+4 ,i felt myself 9 a new _w1 & e ?+ ab\t me appe>$ ) a diff]5t aspect f :at x 0 wont to d4 99,at ?is "t ! way ( salvation op5$ to me ) su* inf9ite wisdom & excell5cy1 t ,i wond]$ ,i %\ld ev] ?9k ( any o!r way ( salvation2 0 amaz$1 t ,i _h n dropp$ my own contrivances1 & compli$ ) ?is excell5t way be=e4 ,if ,i c\ld h be5 sav$ by my own duties1 or any o!r way t ,i _h =m]ly contriv$1 my :ole s\l w\ld n[ h refus$4 ,i wond]$1 t ! :ole _w did n see & comply ) ?is way ( salvation1 entirely by ! m]its ( ,*ri/4 ,! sweet reli% ( :at ,i !n felt1 cont9u$ ) me = sev]al days1 9 a great] or less degree2 ,i c\ld n b sweetly rejoice 9 ,god1 ly+ d[n or ris+ up4 ,! next ,"l's day ,i felt some?+ ( ! same k9d1 ?\gh n s p[]ful4 ,b n long aft]1 0 aga9 "u great di/ress2 yet n ( ! same k9d ) my di/ress "u convictions4 ,i 0 afraid & a%am$ to come be=e ,god2 0 exce$+ly press$ ) a s5se ( guilt3 b x 0 n long be=e ,i felt true rep5tance & joy 9 ,god4 ,9 ! beg9n+ ( ,septemb] ,i w5t to college1 & ent]$ !re2 b ) "s degree ( reluctance1 fe>+ le/ ,i %\ld n be able to lead a life ( /rict religion1 9 ! mid/ ( s _m temptations4 ,aft] ?is1 be=e1 ,i w5t to t>ry at college1 x pleas$ ,god to visit my s\l ) cle>] manife/ations ( himself 9 pray] & self-exam9ation2 & ! ,"l s %9$ into my he>t1 t ,i enjoy$ full assurance ( 8 fav\r2 & my s\l 0 unspeakably refre%$4 ,at ?is "t especially1 z well z "s o!rs1 sundry passages ( ,god's ^w op5$ to my s\l ) div9e cle>ness1 p[] & sweetness1 s z to appe> exce$+ preci\s1 & ) cle> & c]ta9 evid5ce ( its be+ ! ^w ( ,god4 ,i enjoy$ consid]able sweetness 9 religion all ! w9t] foll[+4 ,yale college1 9 ,new-hav54 8religon0 replac$ ) 8religion0 ,9 ,janu>y #agcidj1 ! measles spread mu* 9 college2 & ,i hav+ tak5 ! di/emp]1 w5t home to ,haddam4 ,= "s days be=e ,i 0 tak5 sick1 my s\l m\rn$ ! abs5ce ( ! ,com=t]3 x seem$ to me1 all com=t 0 gone2 ,i cri$ to ,god1 yet f\nd no relief4 ,b a night or two be=e ,i 0 tak5 ill1 :ile ,i 0 walk+ alone1 engag$ 9 m$itation & pray]1 ,i enjoy$ a sweet1 refre%+ visit f above1 s t my s\l 0 rais$ f> above ! fe>s ( dea?2 ,o h[ mu* m refre%+ ?is "o season 0 ?an all ! pleasures e>? c af=d6 ,aft] a day or two ,i 0 tak5 ) ! measles1 & almo/ despair$ ( life2 b _h no di/ress+ fe>s ( dea?4 ,h[ev]1 ,i soon recov]$3 yet by reason ( h>d /udies1 ,i _h little "t = spiritual duties2 my s\l (t5 m\rn$ = want ( m "t & opportunity to be alone ) ,god4 ,9 ! spr+ & summ] foll[+1 ,i _h bett] advantage = retirem5t & enjoy$ m com=t3 inde$ my ambition 9 my /udies greatly wrong$ ! vig\r ( my spiritual life3 yet 89 ! multitude ( my ?\ghts )9 me1 ,god's com=ts delight$ my s\l40 ,"o day 9 p>ticul>1 7,june #agdj7 ,i walk$ 9 ! fields alone1 & f\nd su* unspeakable sweetness 9 ,god1 t ,i ?\ght1 if ,i mu/ cont9ue /ill 9 ?is evil _w1 ,i want$ always to be !re to behold ,god's glory3 my s\l de>ly lov$ all mank9d1 & long$ exce$+ly t !y %\ld enjoy :at ,i enjoy$4,x seem$ to be a little resemblance ( heav54 ,9 ,augu/ foll[+1 ,i became s disord]$1 by too close application to my /udies1 t ,i 0 advis$ to g home1 & dis5gage my m9d f /udy1 = ,i began to spit blood4 ,i took advice1 b be+ br\ght v l[1 ,i look$ dea? 9 ! face m /$fa/ly4 ,! ,"l 0 pleas$ to give me a sweet reli% ( div9e ?+s1 & my s\l took delight 9 ! bless$ ,god4 99,saturday1 ,octob] #ah4 ,9 my morn+ devotions1 my s\l 0 exce$+ly melt$ =1 & bitt]ly m\rn$ ov]1 my exce$+ s9fulness & vil5ess4 ,i nev] be=e felt s deep a s5se ( ! odi\s nature ( s94 ,my s\l 0 unusually c>ri$ =? 9 love to ,god1 & _h a lively s5se ( ,god's love to me4 ,& ?is love & hope1 ca/ out fe>4 99,octob] #ai4 ,9 ! morn+ ,i felt my s\l hung]+ & ?ir/+ aft] righte\sness4 ,9 ! =5oon1 :ile ,i 0 look+ on ! sacram5tal elem5ts1 & ?9k+ t ,jesus ,*ri/ w\ld soon be 8set =? crucifi$ be=e me10 my s\l 0 fill$ ) light & love1 s t ,i 0 almo/ 9 an ec/asy2 my body 0 s weak1 ,i c\ld sc>cely /&4 ,i felt at ! same "t an exce$+ t5d]ness & mo/ f]v5t love t[>ds all mank9d2 s t my s\l & all ! p[]s ( x seem$1 z x 71 to melt into s(tness & sweetness4 ,?is love & joy ca/ out fe>2 & my s\l long$ = p]fect grace & glory4 99,tuesday1 ,octob] #ba4 ,i _h likewise exp]i5ce ( ! goodness ( ,god 9 8%$d+ abroad 8 love 9 my he>t10 & all ! rema9+ "p ( ! week1 my s\l 0 tak5 up ) div9e ?+s4 ,i n[ s long$ aft] ,god1 & to be fre$ f s91 t :5 ,i felt myself recov]+1 & ?\ght ,i mu/ return to college aga91 :i* _h prov$ s hurtful to me ! ye> pa/1 ,i c\ld n b be griev$1 & ,i ?\ght ,i _h mu* r h di$2 b be=e ,i w5t1 ,i enjoy$ sev]al o!r sweet & preci\s seasons ( communion ) ,god4 ,i return$ to college ab\t ,novemb] #f1 & ?r\gh ! goodness ( ,god1 felt ! p[] ( religion almo/ daily4 ,novemb] #bh4 ,i enjoy$ preci\s discov]ies ( ,god1 & 0 unspeakably refre%$ ) t passage1 ,hebrews xii4 #bb1 #bc1 #bd1 s t my s\l long$ to w+ away = ! p>adise ( ,god2 ,i long$ to be con=m$ to ,god 9 all ?+s4 ,tuesday1 ,decemb] #i4 ,god 0 pleas$ wond]fully to assi/ & /r5g!n me2 s t ,i ?\ght no?+ %\ld ev] move me f ! love ( ,god 9 ,*ri/ ,jesus my ,"l4,o6 "o h\r ) ,god inf9itely exce$s all ! pleasures ( ?is l[] _w4 ,t[>ds ! latt] end ( ,janu>y1 #agdjda1 ,i grew m cold & dull 9 matt]s ( religion1 by means ( my old temptation1 ambition 9 my /udies4,b ?r\gh div9e goodness1 a great & g5]al awak5+ spread itself ov] ! college1 ab\t ! latt] end ( ,febru>y1 9 :i* ,i 0 mu* quick5$1 & m abundantly engag$ 9 religion4 ,?is awak5+ 0 at ! beg9n+ ( t extraord9>y religi\s commotion ?r\gh ! l&1 :i* is fre% 9 e "o's memory4 ,?is awak5+ 0 = a "t v great & g5]al at ,new-,hav52 & ! college _h no small %>e 9 x3 ! /ud5ts 9 g5]al became s]i\s1 _m ( !m rem>kably s1 & mu* engag$ 9 ! conc]ns ( _! et]nal salvation4 ,x c\ld n be o!rwise ?an t "o ^: he>t _h be5 s drawn to ,god1 %\ld be mightily animat$1 at ! sight ( su* an alt]ation 9 ! college1 ! t[n1 & l&2 ( m5s re=m+ _! lives1 & turn+ f pr(an5ess & immorality1 to s]i\sness & conc]n = _! salvation1 & ( religion's reviv+ & fl\ri%+ almo/ e :]e4 ,b z an intemp]ate zeal1 soon m+l$ itself ) t revival ( religion3 s ,mr4 ,bra9]d _h ! unhapp9ess to h a t9cture ( x4 ,"o in/ance ( :i* x is necess>y %\ld be relat$4 ,9 ! "t ( ! awak5+ at college1 sev]al /ud5ts associat$ !mselves1 :o 7 wont freely to op5 !mselves "o to ano!r3 ,mr4 ,bra9]d 0 "o ( ?is company4 ,& x once happ5$1 t he & two or ?ree m ( ^! 8 intimate fri5ds 7 9 ! hall toge!r1 aft] ,mr4 ,:ittelsey1 "o ( ! tutors1 _h be5 to pray] !re ) ! s*ol>s2 no o!r p]son n[ rema9+ 9 ! hall1 b ,mr4 ,bra9]d & ^! 8 companions4 ,mr4 ,:ittelsey hav+ be5 unusually pa!tical 9 8 pray]1 "o ( ,bra9]d's fri5ds ask$ him :at he ?\ght ( ,mr4 ,:ittelsey2 he made answ]1 8,he has no m grace ?an ?is *air40 ,"o happ5+ at t "t to be ne> ! hall ov]-he>d ^? words1 ?\gh he knew n :o ! p]son 01 :i* 0 ?us c5sur$4 ,he in=m$ a woman :o w5t & in=m$ ! rector4 ,he s5t = ! man & exam9$ him2 & he told ! rector ! words t he he>d ,bra9]d utt]1 & in=m$ him :o 7 9 ! room ) him at t "t4 ,^u :i* ! rector s5t = !m3 !y 7 v backw>d to in=m aga9/ _! fri5d1 ( :at !y look$ ^u z private conv]sation1 yet ! rector compell$ !m to decl>e :at he said1 & ( :om he said x4,bra9]d ?\ght1 t :at he said 9 private1 0 injuri\sly extort$ f 8 fri5ds1 & t x 0 injuri\sly requir$ ( him to make a public confession1 be=e ! :ole college1 = :at he _h said only 9 private conv]sation4,he n comply+ ) ?is dem&1 & hav+ gone once to ! sep>ate meet+ at ,new-,hav51 :5 =bidd5 by ! rector1 0 expell$ ! college4 ,8 expulsion 0 9 ! w9t] anno #agdab1 :ile he 0 9 8 ?ird ye> 9 college4 ,,"p ,,ii4 ,f ! "t t he began to devote himself to ! /udy ( div9ity1 till he 0 exam9$ & lic5s$ to prea*4 ,,mr4 ,bra9]d1 ! spr+ aft] 8 expulsion1 w5t to live ) ! ,rev4 ,mr4 ,mills1 ( ,ripton1 to foll[ 8 /udies ) him1 9 ord] to 8 be+ fitt$ = ! m9i/ry2 :]e he sp5t ! great] "p ( ! "t till lic5s$ to prea*4,! foll[+ acc\nt is 9 8 own words4 ,?ursday1 ,april #a1 #agdb4 ,i seem to be decl9+ ) respect to my life & w>m? 9 div9e ?+s2 ,o t ,god w\ld humble me deeply 9 ! du/6 ,i des]ve hell e day1 = n lov+ my ,"l m1 8:o has lov$ me1 & giv5 himself = me20 & e "t ,i am enabl$ to ex]cise any grace1 ,i am indebt$ to ! ,god ( all grace = x4 8,:]e !n is boa/+80 ,surely 8x is exclud$10 s9ce we dep5d on ,god = ! be+ & e act ( grace4 99,friday1 ,april #b4 ,i felt myself mu* resign$1 calm1 & s]5e4 ,:at are all ! /orms ( ?is l[] _w1 if ,jesus does b come walk+ on ! seas6,"s "t pa/1 ,i _h mu* pleasure 9 ! prospect ( ! ,hea!n's be+ br\ght home to ,*ri/1 & desir$ t ! ,"l w\ld employ me 9 t "w2b n[ my s\l m frequ5tly desires to die1 to be ) ,*ri/4 ,o t my s\l 7 wrapt up 9 love1 & my long+ aft] ,god increas$6 8walk-on0 replac$ ) 8walk+ on0 ,saturday1 ,april #c4 ,i ?\ght1 if ,god w\ld take me to himself1 my s\l w\ld exce$+ly rejoice4 ,o t ,i may be always humble & resign$ to ,god1 & t ,god w\ld fix my s\l on himself1 t ,i may be m fitt$ bo? = do+ & suff]+6 99,"l's-day1 ,april #d4 ,o my bless$ ,god6 ,let me climb up ne> to him1 & love1 & long1 & plead1 & wre/le1 & rea*1 & /ret* aft] him1 & = deliv]ance f ! body ( s9 & dea?4,alas6 my s\l m\rn$ to ?9k ,i %\ld ev] lose sight ( its ,belov$ aga94 8,o come1 ,"l ,jesus1 ,am540 99,tuesday1 ,april #f4 ,i cri$ to ,god to wa% my s\l1 & cleanse me f my exce$+ fil?9ess4,& ,i c\ld ?9k ( und]go+ ! greate/ suff]+s1 ) pleasure2 & f\nd myself will+ 7if ,god %\ld s ord] x7 to suff] bani%m5t f my native l&1 among ! ,hea!n1 t ,i might d some?+ = _! salvation1 9 di/resses & dea?s ( any k9d4,!n ,god gave me to wre/le e>ne/ly = o!rs1 = ! k+dom ( ,*ri/ 9 ! _w1 & = my de> ,*ri/ian fri5ds4,i felt myself wean$ f ! _w1 & f my own reputation1 will+ to be despis$1 & to be a gaz+-/ock = ! _w4,x is impossible = me to express :at ,i !n felt3 ,i _h n mu* joy1 b a s5se ( ! maje/y ( ,god1 :i* made me tremble2 ,i saw myself mean & vile1 :i* made me m will+ t ,god %\ld d :at he w\ld ) me2 x 0 all inf9itely reasonable4 ,?ursday1 ,april #h4 ,i _h hopes respect+ ! ,hea!n4 ,o t ,god w\ld br+ 9 numb]s ( !m to ,*ri/6 ,i _c b hope ,i %all see t glori\s day4,e ?+ 9 ?is _w seems exce$+ vile & little to me3 ,i look s myself4 ,saturday1 ,april #aj4 ,i sp5t mu* "t 9 secret ?is morn+1 & n )\t "s com=t2 b am s l[1 & feel s little ( ! pres5ce ( ,god1 t ,i h>dly "k :at to call fai?1 & am made to 8possess ! s9s ( my y\?10 & ! dreadful s9 ( my nature1 & am all s94 ,yet ,i feel "s fa9t hopes1 t ,god w1 ( 8 inf9ite m]cy1 return4 ,"l's-day1 ,april #aa4 ,i _h sweetness 9 ! ?\ghts ( arriv+ at ! heav5ly _w4 ,o = ! happy day6,aft] public wor%ip ,god gave me special assi/ance 9 pray]2 ,i wre/l$ ) my de> ,"l ) mu* sweetness2 & int]cession 0 a sweet & delightful employm5t4,9 ! ev5+1 z ,i 0 view+ ! lights 9 ! nor?1 ,i 0 delight$ 9 contemplation on ! glori\s morn+ ( ! resurrection4 99,monday1 ,april #ab4 ,?is morn+ ! ,"l 0 pleas$ to lift up ! light ( 8 c\nt5ance ^u me 9 secret pray]1 & made ! season v preci\s to my s\l4 ,i felt myself exce$+ calm1 & q resign$ to ,god1 respect+ my future employm5t3 my fai? lift$ me above ! _w1 & remov$ all ^? m\nta9s1 t ,i c\ld n look ov] ( late3 ,i want$ n ! fav\r ( m5 to lean ^u2 = ,i knew ,*ri/'s fav\r 0 inf9itely bett]1 & t x 0 no matt] :51 nor :]e1 nor h[ ,*ri/ %\ld s5d me1 nor :at trials he %\ld ex]cise me )1 if ,i might be prep>$ = 8 "w & w4 ,i n[ f\nd sweetly reviv$ 9 my m9d ! wond]ful discov]y ( inf9ite wisdom 9 all ! disp5sations ( ,god t[>ds me1 :i* ,i _h a little be=e ,i met ) my great trial at college2 e ?+ appe>$ full ( ! wisdom ( ,god4 ,w$nesday1 ,april #ad4 ,my s\l long$ = communion ) ,*ri/1 & = ! mortification ( indwell+ corruption1 especially spiritual pride4 ,o !re is a sweet day com+1 :]e9 8! we>y w be at re/60 ,my s\l has enjoy$ mu* sweetness ?is day 9 ! hopes ( its spe$y arrival4 ,?ursday1 ,april #ae4 ,my desires c5t]$ 9 ,god1 & ,i f\nd a s5sible attraction ( s\l aft] him3 ,i long = ,god1 & a con=mity to 8 w1 9 inw>d hol9ess1 t5 ?\s& times m ?an = any ?+ "h bel[4 ,"l's-day1 ,april #ah4 ,i retir$ e>ly ?is morn+ 9 ! woods2 & 0 enabl$ to plead ) f]v5cy = ! advancem5t ( ,*ri/'s k+dom4,at night ,i saw myself inf9itely indebt$ to ,god1 & _h a view ( my %ort com+s3 x seem$ to me1 t ,i _h done no?+ = ,god1 & t ,i _h liv$ to him b a few h\rs ( my life4 99,monday1 ,april #ai4 ,i set ap>t ?is day = fa/+ & pray] to ,god = 8 grace1 to prep>e me = ! "w ( ! m9i/ry1 & 9 8 own "t to s5d me into 8 h>ve/4 ,i felt a p[] ( int]cession = ! advancem5t ( ! k+dom ( my de> ,"l2 & )al1 a sweet resignation1 & ev5 joy 9 ! ?\ghts ( suff]+ h>d%ips1 di/resses1 yea dea? itself1 9 ! promotion ( x4 ,9 ! aft]noon1 8,god 0 ) me ( a tru?40 ,o x 0 bless$ company inde$6 ,god enabl$ me s to agonize 9 pray]1 t ,i 0 q wet ) sweat1 ?o' 9 ! %ade4 ,my s\l 0 drawn out v mu* = ! _w2 ,i grasp$ = multitudes ( s\ls4 ,i _h m enl>gem5t = s9n]s1 ?an = ! *ildr5 ( ,god2 ?\gh ,i felt z if ,i c\ld sp5d my life 9 cries = bo?4 ,i nev] felt su* an entire wean$ness f ?is _w1 & s mu* resign$ to ,god 9 e ?+4,o t ,i may always live to & ^u my bless$ ,god6 ,tuesday1 ,april #bj4 ,?is day ,i am tw5ty-f\r ye>s ( age4 ,o h[ mu* m]cy h ,i receiv$ ! ye> pa/6 ,h[ (t5 has ,god 8caus$ 8 goodness to pass be=e me60 ,& h[ poorly h ,i answ]$ ! v[s ,i made ?is "t twelvemon?1 to be :olly ! ,"l's1 to be = ev] devot$ to 8 s]vice6 ,! ,"l help me to live m to 8 glory4,?is has be5 a sweet day to me3 bless$ be ,god4 ,i ?9k my s\l 0 nev] s drawn out 9 int]cession = o!rs4 ,i _h a f]v5t wre/le ) ! ,"l = my enemies2 & ,i h>dly ev] s long$ to live to ,god1 & to be altoge!r devot$ to him4 ,"l's day1 ,april #be4 ,?is morn+ ,i sp5t ab\t two h\rs 9 secret1 & 0 enabl$ m ?an ord9>ily to agonize = immortal s\ls2 ?\gh x 0 e>ly 9 ! morn+1 & ! sun sc>cely %9$ at all1 yet my body 0 q wet ) sweat4 ,i felt myself mu* press$1 z frequ5tly ( late1 to plead = ! meekness & calmness ( ! ,lamb ( ,god4 ,o x is a sweet disposition1 he>tily to =give all injuries1 to wi% our greate/ enemies z well z we d our own s\ls6 ,bless$ ,jesus1 may ,i daily be m & m con=m$ to !e6 ,at night ,i 0 exce$+ly melt$ ) div9e love1 & _h a s5se ( ! bless$ness ( ! upp] _w4 ,^? words hung ^u me ) mu* sweetness1 ,psalms lxxxiv4 #g4 8,!y g f /r5g? to /r5g?1 e "o ( !m 9 ,zion appe>e? be=e ,god40 ,o ! ne> access t ,god sometimes gives u 9 our addresses to him6 ,?is may well be t]m$ appe>+ be=e ,god2 x is s inde$1 9 ! true spiritual s5se4 ,i long$ = ! com+ ( my de> ,"l2 ,i long$ to jo9 ! angelic ho/s 9 praises1 :olly free f imp]fection4 ,o ! bless$ mom5t ha/5s6 ,all ,i want is to be m holy1 m l my de> ,"l4 ,o = sanctification6 ,my v s\l pants = ! compleat re/oration ( ! bless$ image ( my ,savi\r2 t ,i may be fit = ! bless$ enjoym5ts & employm5ts ( ! heav5ly _w4 ,monday1 ,april #bf4 ,i cont9u$ 9 a sweet frame ( m9d4 ,god 0 pleas$ to make x a humbl+ season4 ,my s\l exce$+ly longs = t bless$ /ate ( p]fection1 ( deliv]ance f all s96,at night ,god enabl$ me to give my s\l up to him1 to ca/ myself ^u him1 to be dispos$ ( accord+ to 8 sov]eign pleasure2 & ,i enjoy$ great peace & consolation 9 s do+4 ,my s\l took sweet delight 9 ,god3 my ?\ghts freely & sweetly c5t]$ 9 him4 ,o t ,i c\ld sp5d e mom5t ( my life to 8 glory6 99,tuesday1 ,april #bg4 ,i retir$ & ,god 0 pleas$ to p\r su* ineffable com=ts into my s\l1 t ,i c\ld d no?+ = sometime b say ov] & ov]1 8,o my sweet ,savi\r6 ,o my sweet ,savi\r6 ,:om h ,i 9 heav5 b !e8 ,& !re is none ^u e>? t ,i desire beside !e40 ,if ,i _h a ?\s& lives1 my s\l w\ld gladly h laid !m all d[n1 to h be5 ) ,*ri/4 ,my s\l nev] enjoy$ s mu* ( heav5 be=e2 x 0 ! mo/ ref9$ communion ) ,god ,i ev] felt3 ,i nev] be=e felt s great a degree ( resignation4 99,w$nesday1 ,april #bh4 ,i )drew to my usual place ( retirem5t1 & sp5t ab\t two h\rs 9 secret4 ,i felt mu* z ,i did ye/]day morn+1 only weak] & m ov]come4 ,i seem$ to hang :olly on my de> ,"l2 :olly wean$ f all o!r dep5d5cies4 ,i knew n :at to say to my ,god1 b only lean on 8 bosom1 z x 71 & brea! out my desires aft] p]fect con=mity to him 9 all ?+s4 ,?ir/+ desires & insatiable long+s1 possess$ my s\l aft] p]fect hol9ess2 ,god 0 s preci\s to my s\l1 t ! _w ) all its enjoym5ts 0 inf9itely vile2 ,i _h no m value = ! fav\r ( m51 ?an = pebbles3 ! ,"l 0 my all2 & he ov] rul$ all2 :i* greatly delight$ me4 ,i ?9k my fai? & dep5dance on ,god sc>ce ev] rose s high4 ,i saw him su* a f\nta9 ( goodness1 t x seem$ impossible ,i %\ld di/ru/ him aga91 or be any way anxi\s ab\t any ?+ t %\ld happ5 to me4,9 ! ev5+ my he>t seem$ sweetly to melt1 & 0 humbl$ = indwell+ corruption1 & ,i m\rn$ l a dove4 ,i felt t all my unhapp9ess arose f my be+ a s9n]2 = ) resignation ,i c\ld welcome all o!r trials2 b s9 hung heavy ^u me3 = ,god discov]$ to me ! corruption ( my he>t2 s t ,i w5t to b$ ) a heavy he>t1 because ,i 0 a s9n]3 ?\gh ,i did n 9 ! lea/ d\bt ( ,god's love4 ,o t ,god w\ld 8purge away all my dross1 & take away my t940 8s90 replac$ ) 8t90 p] ,errata ,friday1 ,april #cj4 ,no?+ grieves me s mu* z t ,i _c live con/antly to ,god's glory4 ,i c\ld be> any spiritual conflicts1 if ,i c\ld b h my he>t all ! :ile burn+ ) love to ,god2 = :5 ,i feel ?is ,i _c be deject$1 b only rejoice 9 my ,savi\r1 :o has deliv]$ me f ! reign+ p[]1 & w %ortly deliv] me f ! indwell+ ( s94 ,"l's-day1 ,may #b4 ,god 0 pleas$ to give me su* a sight ( myself1 z made me appe> vile 9 my own eyes3 ,i felt corruption 9 my he>t1 :i* ,i c\ld by no means suppress2 ,i 0 exce$+ weak1 & almo/ sick ) my inw>d trials4 ,"l's-day1 ,may #i4 ,i nev] felt s mu* ( ! curs$ pride ( my he>t1 z well z ! /ubbornness ( my w be=e4 ,o :at a wret* ,i am6 ,i c\ld n submit to be no?+1 & to lie d[n 9 ! du/4 ,oh t ,god w\ld humble me6 ,i felt myself su* a s9n]1 all day1 t ,i _h sc>ce any com=t4 ,oh :5 %all ,i be 8deliv]$ f ! body ( ?is dea?60 ,i greatly fe>$1 le/ ?r\gh /upidity ,i %\ld lose ! b5efit ( ^! trials4 ,o t !y might be sanctifi$ to my s\l6 ,no?+ seem$ to t\* me b ?is1 t ,i 0 a s9n]4 ,?ursday1 ,may #ac4 ,i saw s mu* ( ! wick$ness ( my he>t1 t ,i long$ to get away f myself4 ,i nev] be=e ?\ght !re 0 s mu* spiritual pride 9 my s\l3 ,i 0 almo/ press$ to dea? ) my vil5ess4 ,oh :at a body ( dea? is !re 9 me6 ,"l1 deliv] my s\l4 ,o ! close/ walk ) ,god is ! sweete/ heav5 t c be enjoy$ on e>?6 ,friday1 ,may #ad4 ,i wait$ on a c\ncil ( m9i/]s1 & spread be=e !m ! treatm5t ,i _h met ) at ,yale-college2 :o ?\ght x adviseable to int]c$e = me ) ! rector & tru/ees1 & to intreat !m to re/ore me to my =m] privileges4 ,! application :i* 0 !n made on 8 behalf1 _h n ! desir$ success4 ,saturday1 ,june #ab4 ,i sp5t mu* "t 9 pray] ?is morn+1 & enjoy$ mu* sweetness4,felt insatiable long+s aft] ,god3 ,i wond]$ h[ poor s\ls d to live1 t h no ,god4,! _w1 ) all its enjoym5ts1 q vani%$4 ,i see myself v helpless3 b ,i h a bless$ ,god to g to4 ,i long$ exce$+ly 8to be dissolv$1 & to be ) ,*ri/1 to behold 8 glory40 ,oh1 my weak we>y s\l longs to arrive at my ,fa!r's h\se6 ,monday1 ,june #ad4 ,i felt some?+ ( ! sweetness ( communion ) ,god1 & ! con/ra9+ =ce ( 8 love3,i set ap>t ?is day = fa/+ & pray]1 to intreat ,god to bless me ) reg>d to ! great "w ( prea*+ ! gospel4 ,j at night1 ! ,"l visit$ me m>vell\sly 9 pray]3 ,i ?9k my s\l nev] 0 9 su* an agony be=e3 ,i felt no re/ra9t2 = ! treasures ( div9e grace 7 op5$ to me2 ,i wre/l$ = my abs5t fri5ds1 = ! +a!r+ ( s\ls1 = multitudes ( poor s\ls1 & = _m t ,i ?\ght 7 ! *ildr5 ( ,god1 p]sonally1 9 _m di/ant places4 ,i 0 9 su* an agony1 till ne> d>k1 t ,i 0 all ov] wet ) sweat3 b yet x seem$ to me t ,i _h wa/$ away ! day1 & _h done no?+4 ,oh1 my de> ,jesus did sweat blood = poor s\ls6 ,i long$ = m compassion t[>ds !m4 ,tuesday1 ,june #ae4 ,i _h ! mo/ ard5t long+s aft] ,god1 t ,i ev] felt 9 my life3 at noon1 9 secret1 ,i c\ld d no?+ b tell my de> ,"l1 t he knew ,i long$ = no?+ b himself1 no?+ b hol9ess2 t he _h giv5 me ^! desires1 & he only c\ld give me ! ?+ desir$4 ,i nev] seem$ to be s unh+$ f myself1 & to be s :olly devot$ to ,god4 ,my he>t 0 swall[$ up 9 ,god mo/ ( ! day4 ,9 ! ev5+ ,i _h su* a view ( ! s\l's be+ enl>g$1 to conta9 m hol9ess2 t my s\l seem$ ready to sep>ate f my body1 to obta9 x4 ,i !n wre/l$ 9 an agony = div9e bless+s2 & _h my he>t drawn out 9 pray] = "s ,*ri/ian fri5ds1 beyond :at ,i ev] _h be=e4,i feel diff]5tly n[ f :atev] ,i did "u any sweet enjoym5ts be=e2 m engag$ to live to ,god = ev]4 ,oh h[ %ort d ,i fall ( my duty 9 my sweete/ mom5ts6 ,friday1 ,june #ah4 ,consid]+ my great unfitness = ! m9i/ry1 ,i set ap>t ?is day = pray] to ,god1 & f\nd ,god graci\sly ne>2 once 9 p>ticul>1 :ile ,i 0 plead+ = m compassion = immortal s\ls1 my he>t seem$ to be op5$ at once1 & ,i 0 enabl$ to cry ) great ard5cy4 99,oh1 ,i 0 di/ress$1 to ?9k1 t ,i %\ld (f] su* dead cold s]vices to ! liv+ ,god6 ,my s\l seem$ to brea! aft] hol9ess1 a life ( con/ant devot$ness to ,god4 ,b ,i am almo/ lo/ sometimes 9 ! pursuit ( ?is bless$ness1 & ready to s9k1 because ,i cont9ually fall %ort4 ,o t ! ,"l w\ld help me to hold out1 yet a little :ile1 till ! happy h\r ( deliv]ance comes6 ,"l's-day1 ,june #bj4 ,i sp5t mu* "t alone4 ,my s\l long$ to be holy1 & rea*$ aft] ,god2 ,i hung]$ & ?ir/$2 b 0 n satisfi$4 ,my s\l hung on ,god1 z my only portion4 ,o t ,i c\ld gr[ 9 grace m abundantly e day6 ,tuesday1 ,june #bb4 ,i 0 sweetly compos$ & resign$ to ,god's w2 enabl$ to leave myself & all my conc]ns ) him1 & to h my :ole dep5d5ce ^u him3 my secret retirem5t 0 v refre%+4 ,x appe>$ su* a happ9ess to h ,god = my portion1 t ,i _h r be any o!r creature 9 ?is l[] creation1 ?an n to come to ! enjoym5t ( ,god3 ,i _h r be a bea/1 ?an a man1 )\t ,god1 if ,i 7 to live "h to et]nity4 ,"l ende> ?yself m to me6 ,w$nesday1 ,june #cj4 ,sp5t ?is day alone 9 ! woods1 9 fa/+ & pray]2 und]w5t ! mo/ dreadful conflicts 9 my s\l1 t ev] ,i felt2 ,i saw myself s vile1 t ,i 0 ready to say1 8,i %all n[ p]i% by ! h& ( ,saul40 ,i almo/ conclud$1 ,i _h no p[] to /& = ! cause ( ,god1 b 0 8afraid ( ! %ak+ ( a leaf40 ,sp5t almo/ ! :ole day 9 pray]4 ,i c\ld n be> to ?9k ( ,*ri/ians %ew+ me any respect4 ,i almo/ despair$ ( do+ any s]vice 9 ! _w2 ,i c\ld n feel any hope respect+ ! ,hea!n1 :i* us$ to af=d me "s refre%m5t 9 ! d>ke/ h\rs4 ,i sp5t ! day 9 ! bitt]ness ( my s\l4 ,ne> night ,i enjoy$ "s sweetness 9 pray]4 ,saturday1 ,july #c4 ,my he>t seem$ aga9 to s9k4 ,! disgrace ,i 0 laid "u at college seem$ to damp me1 z x op5s ! m\?s ( oppos]s4 ,i _h no refuge b 9 ,god4 ,bless$ be 8 "n1 t ,i may g to him at all times1 & f9d him a pres5t help4 ,"l's-day1 ,july #d4 ,i )drew1 & enjoy$ a happy season 9 secret3 ,god 0 pleas$ to give me ! ex]cise ( fai?1 & !reby br\ght ! invisible & et]nal _w ne> to my s\l4 ,i hop$1 t my we>y pilgrimage w\ld be %ort2 t x w\ld n be long be=e ,i 0 br\ght to my ,fa!r's h\se3 b ,i 0 sweetly resign$ to ,god's w1 to t>ry 8 "t1 to d 8 "w1 & suff] 8 pleasure4 ,i felt pleas$1 to be little1 to be no?+1 & to lie 9 ! du/4 ,i enjoy$ life & sweet consolation 9 plead+ = ! de> *ildr5 ( ,god1 & ! k+dom ( ,*ri/ 9 ! _w3 & my s\l e>ne/ly brea!d aft] hol9ess1 & ! enjoym5t ( ,god4 8,o come1 ,"l ,jesus6 come quickly ,am540 ,monday1 ,july #ai4 ,my desires are c>ri$ out aft] wean$ness f ! _w1 p]fect deadness to x1 & to be crucifi$ to all its allurem5ts4 ,my s\l longs to feel itself a pilgrim & /rang] "h bel[2 t no?+ may div]t me f press+ ?r\gh ! lonely des]t1 till ,i arrive at my ,fa!r's h\se4 99,?ursday1 ,july #bb4 ,j\rney+ f ,s\?bury to ,ripton1 ,i call$ at a h\se1 :]e be+ k9dly ent]ta9$1 ,i 0 fill$ ) amazem5t & %ame1 t ,god %\ld /ir up ! he>ts ( any to %ew s mu* k9dness to su* a dead dog z ,i2 & 0 s5sible1 h[ exce$+ vile x is1 n to be :olly devot$ to ,god4 ,i wond]$1 t ,god w\ld suff] any ( 8 creatures to fe$ & su/a9 me f "t to "t4 ,?ursday1 ,july #bi4 ,i 0 exam9$ by ! association met at ,danbury1 z to my le>n+1 & exp]i5ces 9 religion1 & receiv$ a lic5ce f !m to prea* ! gospel ( ,*ri/4 ,aft]w>ds ,i felt mu* devot$ to ,god3 jo9$ 9 pray] ) "o ( ! m9i/]s2 & w5t to b$ resolv+ to live devot$ to ,god all my days4 ,,"p ,,iii4 ,f ! "t ( 8 be+ lic5s$ to prea*1 till he 0 appo9t$ ,mission>y to ! ,indians4 ,,friday1 ,july #cj1 #agdb4 ,i rode f ,danbury to ,s\?bury2 prea*$ !re f #a ,pet] iv4 #f4 ,i _h mu* ( ! com=table pres5ce ( ,god 9 ! ex]cise3 ,i seem$ to h p[] ) ,god 9 pray]1 & p[] to get hold ( ! he>ts ( ! p4 ,"l's-day1 ,augu/ #h4 ,9 ! morn+ ,i felt com=tably 9 secret pray]2 my s\l 0 refre%$ ) ! hopes ( ! ,hea!ns com+ to ,*ri/2 ,i 0 mu* resign$ to ,god1 & ?\ght x 0 no matt] :at became ( me4 ,?ursday1 ,augu/ #ab4 ,?is morn+ ,i 0 ex]cis$ ) sore inw>d trials3 ,i _h no p[] to pray2 b seem$ %ut out f ,god1 ,i _h 9 a great measure lo/ my hopes ( ,god's s5d+ me among ! ,hea!n1 & ( see+ !m flock to ,*ri/4 ,i saw s mu* ( my helli% vil5ess1 t ,i appe>$ worse to myself ?an any devil3 ,i wond]$ t ,god w\ld let me live1 & wond]$ t p did n /one me1 mu* m t !y w\ld ev] he> me prea*6 ,x seem$ z ?\gh ,i nei!r c\ld nor %\ld prea* any m3 yet ab\t n9e or t5 o'clock1 ! p came1 & ,i 0 =c$ to prea*4 ,& bless$ be ,god1 he gave me 8 pres5ce & ,_s3 s t ,i spoke ) p[] f ,job xiv4 #ad4 ,"s ,indians cri$ out 9 great di/ress1 & all appe>$ greatly conc]n$4 ,x 0 9 a place 9 ! we/]n bord]s ( ,connecticut1 :]e !re is a numb] ( ,indians4 ,tuesday1 ,augu/ #ag4 ,i 0 exce$+ly depress$ 9 _s2 x cuts & w\nds my he>t1 to ?9k h[ mu* spiritual pride1 & w>m? ( temp]1 ,i h =m]ly int]m+l$ ) my endeav\rs to promote ,god's "w3 & sometimes ,i long to lie d[n at ! feet ( oppos]s1 & confess :at a poor creature ,i h be51 & /ill am4 ,oh1 ! ,"l =give me1 & make me = ! future 8wise z a s]p5t1 & h>mless z a dove60 ,?ursday1 ,augu/ #ag4 ,?is day1 be+ ab\t to g f ,mr4 ,bellamy's at ,be?lehem1 :]e ,i _h resid$ "s "t1 ,i pray$ ) him1 & two or ?ree o!r ,*ri/ian fri5ds1 & we gave ourselves to ,god ) all our he>ts1 to be 8 = ev]3 et]nity look$ v ne> to me4 ,if ,i nev] see !m aga9 9 ?is _w1 x seem$ b a few mom5ts be=e ,i %\ld meet !m 9 ano!r4 ,friday1 ,augu/ #bj4 ,i appe>$ s vile to myself1 t ,i h>dly d>$ to ?9k ( be+ se51 especially on acc\nt ( spiritual pride4 ,h[ev]1 to-night ,i enjoy$ a sweet h\r alone ) ,god1 7at ,ripton7 ,i 0 lift$ up above ! fr[ns & flatt]ies ( ?is _w1 _h a sweet reli% ( heav5ly joys1 & my s\l did z x 7 get into ! et]nal _w1 & really ta/e ( heav54 ,monday1 ,augu/ #bc4 ,i _h a sweet season 9 secret pray]3 ! ,"l drew ne> to my s\l1 & fill$ me ) peace & consolation4 ,my s\l ta/$ ! sweetness ( ! upp] _w2 & 0 drawn out 9 pray] = ! _w1 t x might come to ,*ri/6 99,monday1 ,augu/ #cj4 ,i pray$ ) a ,*ri/ian fri5d or two2 &1 ,i ?9k1 sc>ce ev] laun*$ s f> into ! et]nal _w2 ,i got s f> out on ! broad ocean1 t my s\l triumph$ ov] all ! evils on ! %ores ( mortality4,"t1 & all its gay amusem5ts & cruel disappo9tm5ts1 nev] appe>$ s inconsid]able to me be=e2 ,i saw myself no?+1 & my s\l rea*$ aft] ,god ) int5se desire4 ,i knew1 ,i _h nev] liv$ a mom5t to him z ,i %\ld d3 inde$ x appe>$ to me1 ,i _h nev] done any ?+ 9 ,*ri/ianity2 my s\l long$ ) a vehem5t desire to live to ,god4 ,saturday1 ,septemb] #d4 ,god enabl$ me to wre/le ard5tly = ! ,r$eem]'s k+dom2 & = my de> bro!r ,john1 t ,god w\ld make him m ( a pilgrim & /rang] on ! e>?1 & fit him = s+ul> s]viceabl5ess 9 ! _w2 & my he>t sweetly exult$ 9 ! ,"l1 9 ! ?\ghts ( any di/resses t might light on him or me1 9 ! advancem5t ( ,*ri/'s k+dom4 99,w$nesday1 ,septemb] #h4 ,i felt exce$+ly wean$ f ! _w4,9 ! aft]noon ,i disc\rs$ on div9e ?+s ) a ,*ri/ian fri5d1 :]eby we 7 bo? refre%$4 ,!n ,i pray$1 ) a sweet s5se ( ! bless$ness ( communion ) ,god3 ,i ?9k ,i sc>ce ev] enjoy$ m ( ,god 9 any "o pray]4 ,i knew n t ev] ,i saw s mu* ( my own no?+ness 9 my life2 nev] wond]$ s1 t ,god all[$ me to prea* 8 ^w3 nev] 0 s a/oni%$ z n[4 99,friday1 ,septemb] #aj4 ,i long$ ) int5se desire aft] ,god2 my :ole s\l seem$ impati5t to be con=m$ to him1 & to become 8holy1 z he is holy40 ,9 ! aft]noon1 ,i pray$ ) a de> fri5d1 & _h ! pres5ce ( ,god ) u2 our s\ls unit$ toge!r to rea* aft] a bless$ immortality1 to be unclo!d ( ! body ( s9 & dea?1 & to ent] ! bless$ _w1 :]e no unclean ?+ ent]s4 ,o ) :at int5se desire did our s\ls long = t bless$ day t we might be fre$ f s91 & = ev] live to & 9 our ,god6 ,?ursday1 ,septemb] #af4 ,i enjoy$ mu* ( ,god 9 secret pray]3 felt an uncommon resignation1 to be & d :at ,god pleas$4 ,"s days pa/1 ,i felt great p]plexity on acc\nt ( my pa/ conduct3 my bitt]ness1 & want ( ,*ri/ian k9dness & love1 has be5 v di/ress+ to my s\l3 ! ,"l =give me my un*ri/ian w>m?1 & want ( a _s ( meekness6 ,saturday1 ,septemb] #ah4 ,i felt compassion = s\ls1 & m\rn$ ,i _h no m4 ,i feel mu* m k9dness1 meekness1 g5tl5ess1 & love t[>ds all mank9d ?an ev]4 ,i long$ to be at ! feet ( my enemies & p]secutors3 enjoy$ "s sweetness1 9 feel+ my s\l con=m$ to ,*ri/ ,jesus1 & giv5 away to him = ev]4 ,?r\gh ?is1 & ! two foll[+ weeks1 he pass$ ?r\gh a v>iety ( ex]cises3 he 0 frequ5tly deject$1 & sometimes sunk into ! dep?s ( melan*oly3 ,n ) reg>d to ! fav\r ( ,god1 b ab\t 8 own s9ful infirmities1 & unfitness = ,god's s]vice4 ,?\gh 8 m9d 0 extremely depress$ ) a s5se ( inexpressible vil5ess1 yet1 9 ! mean "t1 he _h _m seasons ( com=t & spiritual refre%m5t4 99,"l's-day1 ,octob] #ag4 ,i _h a s5se ( my helplessness2 especially :5 ,i w5t to ! place ( public wor%ip4 ,i f\nd ,i c\ld n speak a ^w = ,god )\t 8 special assi/ance3 ,i w5t into ! assembly trembl+1 "u a s5se ( my insuffici5cy to d any ?+ z ,i ought to d4,b x pleas$ ,god to af=d me mu* assi/ance1 & !re seem$ to be a consid]able effect on ! he>]s4,o t ,i might be 8fai?ful to ! dea?1 fulfill+ z an hirel+ my day10 till ! %ades ( ! ev5+ ( life %all free my s\l f ! toils ( ! day6 ,?is ev5+ ,i felt su* long+ desires aft] deliv]ance f s91 & con=mity to ,god1 z melt$ my he>t4 ,oh1 ,i long$ to be 8deliv]$ f ?is body ( dea?60 to be con=m$ to ,god entirely1 fully1 & = ev]4,i sc>ce ev] prea* )\t be+ fir/ visit$ ) inw>d conflicts & sore trials4 ,bless$ be ! ,"l = ^! trials & di/resses1 z !y are bless$ = my humbl+4 ,monday1 ,octob] #ah4 ,i felt "s sweetness1 b 0 /ill press$ ?r\gh trials ( s\l4 ,my life is a con/ant mixture ( consolations & conflicts1 & w be s till ,i arrive at ! _w ( spirits4 ,tuesday1 ,octob] #ai4 ,?is morn+ & la/ night1 felt a sweet long+ 9 my s\l aft] hol9ess3 my s\l seem$ s to rea* & /ret* t[>ds ! m>k ( p]fect sanctity1 t x 0 ready to break ) long+s4 99,?ursday1 ,octob] #ba4 ,i _h a v deep s5se ( ! vanity ( ! _w1 & _h little m reg>d to x1 ?an if ,i _h be5 to g into et]nity ! next h\r4 ,?r\gh div9e goodness1 ,i felt v s]i\s & solemn4 ,o1 ,i love to live on ! br9k ( et]nity6 ,?is gives me a sweet1 awful1 & rev]5tial s5se ( ,god & div9e ?+s1 :5 ,i see myself z x 7 /&+ be=e ! judgm5t seat ( ,*ri/4 99,friday1 ,octob] #bb4 ,i 0 uncommonly wean$ f ! _w3 my s\l delight$ to be a /rang] & a pilgrim on ! e>?2 ,i felt a disposition nev] to h any ?+ to d ) ?is _w3 ! "* giv5 ( "s ( ! anti5t p ( ,god1 9 ,hebrews xi4 #ac4 0 v pleas+ to me1 8!y confess$ t !y 7 pilgrims & /rang]s on ! e>?10 & ,o t ,i c\ld always d s6,x is sweet to be ?us wean$ f fri5ds1 & f myself1 & dead to ! _w1 t ,i may live :olly to & ^u ! bless$ ,god4 ,monday1 ,octob] #bf4 ,at ,turky-,hills ,9 ! ev5+ ,i enjoy$ ! div9e pres5ce3 x 0 a sweet & com=table season3 my s\l long$ = ,god1 = ! liv+ ,god3 enjoy$ a sweet solemnity ( _s1 & long+ desire aft] ! recov]y ( ! div9e image3 8,!n %all ,i be satisfi$1 :5 ,i %all awake 9 ,god's lik5ess10 & nev] be=e4 ,tuesday1 ,octob] #bg4 ,at ,we/-,suffield ,i und]w5t ! mo/ dreadful di/resses1 "u a s5se ( my own unwor?9ess3 x seem$ to me1 ,i des]v$ r to be driv5 out ( ! place1 ?an to h any body to come to he> me prea*4 ,& v]ily my spirits 7 s depress$1 t x 0 impossible ,i %\ld treat immortal s\ls ) fai?fulness3 ,i c\ld n deal closely & fai?fully ) !m1 ,i felt s inf9itely vile 9 myself4 ,oh1 :at du/ & a%es ,i am1 to ?9k ( prea*+ ! gospel to o!rs6 ,inde$ ,i nev] c be fai?ful = "o mom5t1 b %all c]ta9ly 8daub ) untemp]$ mort>10 if ,god d n grant me special help4,9 ! ev5+1 ,i w5t to ! meet+-h\se1 & x look$ to me ne> z easy = "o to rise out ( ! grave & prea*1 z = me4 ,h[ev] ,god 0 pleas$ to lift me up & enable me to prea*4 ,o ! wond]ful goodness ( ,god to s vile a s9n]6 ,w$nesday1 ,octob] #bh4 ,i 0 n a little conc]n$ ab\t prea*+ 9 ! aft]noon3 felt exce$+ly )\t /r5g?1 w5t into ! h\se1 a%am$ to see any come to he> su* an unspeakably wor?less wret*4 ,h[ev] ,god enabl$ me to speak ) cle>ness1 p[]1 & pung5cy4 ,?ursday1 ,novemb] #d4 ,at ,lebanon ,i 0 conc]n$ t ,i _h no m s5se ( my insuffici5cy & unwor?9ess4 ,o x is sweet ly+ 9 ! du/6 ,b x is di/ress+ to feel 9 my s\l t hell ( corruption4,9 ! aft]noon ,i _h a s5se ( ! sweetness ( a /rict1 close1 & con/ant devot$ness to ,god1 & felt a pleas+ yet pa9ful conc]n1 le/ ,i %\ld sp5d "s mom5ts )\t ,god4 ,o may ,i always live to ,god6,9 ! ev5+ ,i felt an int5se desire to sp5d e mom5t = ,god4,god is unspeakably graci\s to me cont9ually3 9 times pa/1 he has giv5 me inexpressible sweetness 9 ! p]=mance ( duty2 frequ5tly my s\l has enjoy$ mu* ( ,god2 b has be5 ready to say1 8,"l1 x is good to be "h20 & s to indulge slo?4 ,b ( late ,god has be5 pleas$ to keep my s\l hungry1 almo/ cont9ually2 s t ,i h be5 fill$ ) a k9d ( pleas+ pa94 ,:5 ,i really enjoy ,god1 ,i feel my desires ( him ! m insatiable1 & my ?ir/+s aft] hol9ess ! m unqu5*able2 & ! ,"l w n all[ me to feel z ?\gh ,i 7 fully suppli$ & satisfi$1 b keeps me /ill rea*+ =w>d2 & ,i feel b>r5 & empty1 z ?\gh ,i c\ld n live1 )\t m ( ,god 9 me2 ,i feel a%am$ & guilty be=e ,god4 ,oh6 ,i see1 8! law is spiritual1 b ,i am c>nal40 ,i d n1 ,i _c live to ,god4 ,oh = hol9ess6 ,oh = m ( ,god 9 my s\l6 ,oh ?is pleas+ pa96 ,x makes my s\l press aft] ,god2 ! language ( x is1 8,!n %all ,i be satisfi$1 :5 ,i awake 9 ,god's lik5ess10 7,psalms xxvii4 ultima7 b nev]1 nev] be=e3 & consequ5tly ,i am engag$ to 8press t[>ds ! m>k10 day by day4 ,o t ,i may feel ?is cont9ual hung]1 & n be ret>d$1 b r be animat$ by e clu/] f ,canaan1 to rea* =w>d 9 ! n>r[ way1 = ! full enjoym5t ( ! heav5ly inh]itance6 ,o t ,i may nev] loit] 9 my heav5ly j\rney4 ,"l's day1 ,novemb] #g1 x seem$ z if su* an unholy wret* z ,i nev] c\ld arrive at t bless$ness1 to be 8holy1 z ,god is holy40 ,at noon ,i long$ = sanctification1 & con=mity to ,god4 ,oh1 t is ,,! ,,all1 ,,! ,,all6 ,! ,"l help me to press aft] ,god = ev]4 ,monday1 ,novemb] #ah4 ,i long$ = an arrival 9 ! heav5ly c\ntry1 ! bless$ p>adise ( ,god4 ,?r\gh div9e goodness1 ,i h sc>ce se5 ! day1 = two mon?s1 b dea? has look$ s pleasant to me1 t ,i c\ld h rejoic$ ! pres5t %\ld be my la/2 & ,i tru/ t ,i %all be able to say1 8,o dea?1 :]e is ?y /+60 &1 8,o grave1 :]e is ?y victory60 ,friday1 ,novemb] #ai4 ,at ,new-,hav5 ,i receiv$ a lett] f ! ,rev4 ,mr4 ,pemb]ton ( ,new-,york1 desir+ me spe$ily to g d[n ?i!r1 & consult ab\t ! ,indian affairs1 & to meet c]ta9 g5tlem5 !re t 7 intru/$ ) !m4 ,i retir$ ) two or ?ree fri5ds1 & pray$2 & 0 enabl$ to leave myself & all my conc]ns ) ,god4 ,w$nesday1 ,novemb] #bd4 ,i came to ,new-,york2 felt /ill mu* conc]n$ ab\t ! importance ( my bus9ess2 put up _m e>ne/ reque/s to ,god2 0 confus$ ) ! noise & tumult ( ! city2 enjoy$ b little "t alone ) ,god2 b my s\l long$ aft] him4 ,?ursday1 ,novemb] #be4 ,i sp5t mu* "t 9 pray] & supplication3 0 exam9$ by "s g5tlem5 ( my ,*ri/ian exp]i5ce1 & my acqua9tance ) div9ity1 & "s o!r /udies1 9 ord] to my improvem5t 9 t important affair ( gospelliz+ ! ,hea!n3 0 made s5sible ( my great ignorance & unfitness = public s]vice3 99,i _h ! mo/ abas+ ?\ghts ( myself1 ,i ?9k1 t ev] ,i _h3 ,i ?\ght myself ! wor/ wret* t ev] liv$3 x pa9$ my he>t1 t any body %\ld %ew me any respect4 ,alas6 ,i ?\ght1 h[ sadly !y are deceiv$ 9 me6 h[ mis]ably w\ld !y be disappo9t$1 if !y knew my inside6 ,oh my he>t6,& 9 ?is depress$ condition1 ,i 0 =c$ to g & prea* to a consid]able assembly1 be=e "s grave & le>n$ m9i/]s2 b ,i felt su* a pressure f a s5se ( my vil5ess1 ignorance1 & unfitness to appe> 9 public1 t ,i 0 almo/ ov]come ) x3 my s\l 0 griev$ = ! congregation1 t !y %\ld sit !re to he> su* a dead dog z ,i prea*2 ,i ?\ght myself inf9itely indebt$ to ! p1 & long$ t ,god w\ld rew>d !m ) 8 grace4 ,^! g5tlem5 t exam9$ ,mr4 ,bra9]d1 7 ! correspond5ts 9 ,new-,york1 ,new-,j]sey1 & ,p5sylvania1 ( ! hon\rable society 9 ,scotl& = propagat+ ,*ri/ian k2 to :om 0 committ$ ! managem5t ( _! affairs 9 ^? p>ts1 & :o 7 n[ met at ,new-,york4 ,,"p ,,iv4 ,f ! "t ( 8 be+ appo9t$ ,mission>y1 to 8 entrance on 8 mission among ! ,indians at ,kaunaumeek4 ,,friday1 ,novemb] #bf4 ,i _h /ill a s5se ( my own vil5ess1 & endeav\r$ z mu* z ,i c\ld to keep alone4 ,o :at a no?+1 :at du/ & a%es am ,i6,i enjoy$ "s com=t 9 spread+ my compla9ts be=e ,god4 ,saturday1 ,novemb] #bg4 ,i committ$ my s\l to ,god ) "s degree ( com=t2 left ,new-,york ab\t n9e 9 ! morn+2 came away ) a di/ress+ s5se ( my unspeakable unwor?9ess4 ,surely ,i may well love all my bre?r52 = none ( !m all is z vile z ,i2 :atev] !y d outw>dly1 yet x seems to me none is consci\s ( s mu* inw>d s94 ,o my leanness1 my b>r5ness1 my pa/ bitt]ness1 & want ( a gospel-temp]6 ,w$nesday1 ,decemb] #a4 ,my s\l brea!d aft] ,god 9 long+ desires ( con=mity to him3 my s\l 0 br\ght to re/ itself1 on 8 ri* grace1 & felt /r5g? to d or suff] any ?+ t div9e ,provid5ce %\ld allot me4 ,)9 ! space ( ! next n9e days1 he w5t a j\rney f ,newton to ,haddam1 8 native t[n2 & aft] /ay+ !re "s days return$ aga9 into ! we/]n "p ( ,connecticut1 & came to ,s\?bury4 ,saturday1 ,decemb] #aa4 ,i conv]s$ ) a de> fri5d1 to :om ,i _h ?\ght ( giv+ a lib]al education1 t he might be fitt$ = ! gospel m9i/ry4 ,i acqua9t$ him ) my ?\ghts1 & left him to consid] ( x1 till ,i %\ld see him aga94 ,!n ,i rode to ,be?lehem1 to ,mr4 ,bellamy's lodg+s2 & sp5t ! ev5+ ) him 9 sweet conv]sation & pray]4 ,"l's day1 ,decemb] #ab4 ,i felt a di/ress+ ne$ ( div9e help2 ,i w5t to meet+ trembl+2 b x pleas$ ,god to assi/ me 9 pray] & s]mon3 ,i ?9k1 my s\l sc>ce ev] p5etrat$ s f> into ! immat]ial _w1 nor 7 my devotions ev] s mu* ref9$1 ,i prea*$ ) "s sweetness1 f ,mat!w vi4 #cc4 ,bless$ be ,god1 ,i h reason to ?9k1 t my religion is become m spiritual1 by means ( my late inw>d conflicts4 ,may ,i always be will+ t ,god %\ld use 8 own me?ods ) me6,i felt mu* ( ! sweetness ( religion1 & ! t5d]ness ( ! gospel-temp]3 ,i f\nd a de> love to all mank9d1 & ,i 0 afraid ( sc>cely any ?+ s mu* z le/ "s motion ( ang] or res5tm5t %\ld1 "s "t or o!r1 creep into my he>t4 ,tuesday1 ,decemb] #ba4 ,i rode ov] to ,d]by1 & prea*$2 x pleas$ ,god to give me sweet assi/ance1 & to enable me to speak ) a s(t & t5d] p[] & en]gy4,we _h aft]w>ds a com=table ev5+ 9 s++ & pray]2 ,god enabl$ me to pray ) z mu* spirituality & sweetness z ,i h done = "s "t2 my m9d seem$ to be unclo!d ( s5se & imag9ation & 0 9 a measure let into ! _w ( spirits4 ,?is day 01 ,i tru/ made pr(itable to a numb] ( u1 to advance our s\ls 9 hol9ess & con=mity to ,god3 ! glory be to him = ev]4 ,am54 ,h[ bless$ x is to gr[ m & m l ,god6 ,"l's day1 ,decemb] #bf4 ,i felt mu* sweetness & t5d]ness 9 pray]1 my :ole s\l seem$ to love my wor/ enemies1 & ,i 0 enabl$ to pray = ^? t are /rang]s to ,god ) a degree ( s(tness & pa!tic f]v\r4 ,monday1 ,decemb] #bg4 ,i enjoy$ a preci\s season2 ,i _h a sweet s5se ( ! pure spirituality ( ! religion ( ,*ri/ ,jesus4 ,9 ! ev5+ ,i prea*$ ) mu* fre$om1 p[] & pung5cy4 ,o ! t5d]ness ,i felt 9 my s\l6 ,bless$ be my ,god ,i h seldom enjoy$ a m com=table & pr(itable day ?an ?is4 ,o t ,i c\ld sp5d all my "t = ,god6 8com=able0 replac$ ) 8com=table0 ,friday1 ,janu>y #ad1 #agdbc4 ,my spiritual conflicts 7 unspeakably dreadful1 heavi] ?an ! m\nta9s & ov]fl[+ floods3 ,i seem$ inclos$ z x 71 9 hell itself3 ,i 0 depriv$ ( all s5se ( ,god1 ev5 ( ! be+ ( a ,god2 & t 0 my mis]y4 99,?is 0 di/ress ! ne>e/ a-k9 to ! damn$'s torm5ts t ,i ev] endur$3 _! torm5ts1 ,i am sure w consi/ mu* 9 ! privation ( ,god1 & consequ5tly ( all good4 ,?is taught me ! absolute dep5dance ( a creature ^u ! ,creator1 = e crumb ( happ9ess x enjoys4 ,oh6 ,i feel t if !re is no ,god1 ?\gh ,i might live = ev] "h1 & enjoy n only ?is1 b all o!r worlds1 ,i %\ld be t5 ?\s& times m mis]able ?an a toad4 ,my s\l 0 9 su* angui% ,i c\ld n eat1 b felt z ,i suppos$ a poor wret* w\ld1 t is j go+ to ! place ( execution4 ,i 0 almo/ swall[$ up ) angui%1 :5 ,i saw p ga!r+ toge!r to he> me prea*4 ,h[ev]1 ,i w5t to ! h\se ( ,god1 & he 0 pleas$ to give me fre$om & enl>gem5t1 & ,i sp5t ! ev5+ com=tably4 99,"l's day1 ,janu>y #bc4 ,i sc>ce ev] felt myself s unfit to exi/1 z n[3 ,i saw ,i 0 n wor?y ( a place among ! ,indians1 :]e ,i am go+2 ,i ?\ght ,i %\ld be a%am$ to look !m 9 ! face1 & mu* m to h any respect %ewn me4 ,inde$ ,i felt myself bani%$ f ! e>?1 z if all places 7 too good = su* a wret* z ,i3 ,i ?\ght ,i %\ld be a%am$ to g among ! v savages ( ,africa2 ,i appe>$ to myself a creature fit = no?+1 nei!r heav5 nor e>?4,none kn[s1 b ^? t feel x1 :at ! s\l endures t is s5sibly %ut out f ! pres5ce ( ,god2 alas x is m bitt] ?an dea?4 ,w$nesday1 ,janu>y #bf4 ,i prea*$ to a pretty l>ge assembly2 insi/$ on humility1 & /$fa/ness 9 keep+ ,god's comm&s2 & t ?r\gh humility we %\ld pref] "o ano!r 9 love4 ,i felt sweetly calm1 & full ( bro!rly love1 nev] m free f p>ty _s4 ,i hope "s good w foll[1 t ,*ri/ians w be fre$ f p>ty zeal & c5sur+ "o ano!r4 ,on ,?ursday1 aft] a consid]able "t sp5t 9 pray] & ,*ri/ian conv]sation1 he rode to ,new-,london4 99,friday1 ,janu>y #bh4 ,"h ,i f\nd "s c>ri$ away ) a false zeal & bitt]ness4 ,oh1 ! want ( a gospel-temp] is greatly to be lam5t$4 ,i sp5t ! ev5+ 9 conv]s+ ) "s ab\t "s po9ts ( conduct 9 bo? m9i/]s & private ,*ri/ians2 b did n agree ) !m3 ,god _h n taught !m ) bri>s & ?orns to be ( a k9d disposition t[>d mank9d4 ,w$nesday1 ,febru>y #b4 ,i prea*$ my f>ewell-s]mon1 at ! h\se ( an ag$ man1 :o _h be5 unable to att5d on ! public wor%ip = "s "t2 & ?is morn+ sp5t ! "t 9 pray]4 ,hav+ tak5 leave ( my fri5ds1 ,i set out on my j\rney t[>ds ! ,indians2 ?\gh by ! way ,i 0 to sp5d "s "t at ,ea/-,hampton on ,long-,isl&2 & be+ accompani$ by a mess5g] f ,ea/-,hampton1 we travell$ to ,lyme4 ,on ! road ,i felt an uncommon pressure ( m9d3 ,i seem$ to /ruggle h>d = "s pleasure "h bel[1 & seem$ lo? to give up all2 ,i saw ,i 0 ?r[+ myself into all h>d%ips & di/resses3 ,i ?\ght x w\ld be less difficult to lie d[n 9 ! grave2 b yet ,i *ose to g1 r ?an /ay4,i came to ,lyme t night4 ,he wait$ ! two next days = a passage ov] ! s\nd1 & sp5t mu* ( ! "t 9 inw>d conflicts4 ,on ,saturday he cross$ ! ,s\nd1 l&$ on ,long-,isl&1 & travell$ to ,ea/-,hampton1 & ! sev5 foll[+ days he sp5t !re1 = ! mo/ "p1 "u extreme dejection ( m9d4 ,"l's-day1 ,febru>y #ac4 ,i 0 "u great disc\ragem5t2 knew n h[ x 0 possible = me to prea*1 & 0 ready to give up all6 ,b ,god 0 pleas$ to assi/ me4 ,9 ! ev5+1 my he>t 0 sweetly drawn out aft] ,god1 & devot$ to him4 ,tuesday1 ,febru>y #ae4 ,e>ly 9 ! day ,i felt "s com=t2 aft]w>ds ,i walk$ into a neighb\r+ grove1 & felt m a /rang] on e>? ?an ev]2 z dead to ! enjoym5ts ( ! _w1 z if ,i _h be5 dead 9 a natural s5se4,9 ! ev5+ ,i _h sweetness 9 secret duty3 ,god 0 !n my portion1 & my s\l rose above ^? deep wat]s1 into :i* ,i h sunk s l[ ( late4 ,?ursday1 ,febru>y #ag4 ,i prea*$ ?is day at a little village2 & ,god 0 pleas$ to give me 8 graci\s assi/ance1 s t ,i spake ) fre$om1 boldness1 & p[]4 99,9 ! ev5+1 ,i sp5t "s "t ) a de> ,*ri/ian fri5d2 felt z on ! br9k ( et]nity2 my s\l enjoy$ sweetness 9 lively appreh5sions ( /&+ be=e ! glori\s ,god3 pray$ ) my de> fri5d1 & disc\rs$ ) ! utmo/ solemnity4 ,& truly x 0 a little emblem ( heav5 itself4 ,friday1 ,febru>y #ah4 ,i felt sweetly mo/ ( ! day1 & f\nd access to ! ?rone ( grace4 ,bless$ be ! ,"l = any int]vals ( composure :ile ,i am 9 ! field ( battle4 ,o t ,i might be s]i\s1 solemn1 & always vigilant1 :ile 9 an evil _w6 ,o1 ,i long to live to ,god6 ,dur+ ! next =tnight1 he1 = ! mo/ "p1 enjoy$ mu* peace & com=t4 ,& ?is space ( "t 0 fill$ up ) great dilig5ce & e>ne/ness 9 s]v+ ,god1 9 /udy1 pray]1 m$itation1 prea*+1 & private in/ruct+ & c\nsell+4 99,monday1 ,m>* #g4 ,?is morn+ :5 ,i arose1 ,i f\nd my he>t g aft] ,god 9 long+ desires ( con=mity to him3 & 9 secret pray] ,i f\nd myself sweetly drawn out 9 praises to ,god = all he _h done to & = me1 & = all my inw>d trials & di/resses2 my he>t ascrib$ glory1 glory1 glory to ! bless$ ,god6 & bid welcome to all inw>d di/ress aga91 if ,god saw meet to ex]cise me ) x3 "t appe>$ b an in* long1 & et]nity at h&2 & ,i ?\ght ,i c\ld ) pati5ce & *e>fulness be> any ?+ = ! cause ( ,god2 = ,i saw t a mom5t w\ld br+ me to a _w ( peace & bless$ness2 & my s\l1 by ! /r5g? ( ! ,"l1 rose f> above ?is l[] _w1 & all ! va9 amusem5ts & frightful disappo9tm5ts ( x4 ,"l's-day1 ,m>* #ac4 ,at noon1 ,i ?\ght x impossible = me to prea*1 by reason ( bodily weakness & inw>d deadness2 & 9 ! fir/ pray]1 ,i 0 s weak t ,i c\ld h>dly /&2 b 9 s]mon1 ,god /r5g!n$ me1 s t ,i spake ne> an h\r & half ) fre$om1 cle>ness1 & t5d] p[]1 f ,g5esis v4 #bd4 8,& ,eno* walk$ ) ,god40 ,i 0 sweetly assi/$ to insi/ on a close walk ) ,god1 & to leave ?is z my p>t+ advice to ,god's p "h1 t !y %\ld walk ) ,god4 ,may ! ,god ( all grace succe$ my poor lab\rs 9 ?is place6 ,saturday1 ,m>* #ai4 ,i 0 di/ress$ "u a s5se ( my ignorance1 d>kness1 & unwor?9ess2 got alone1 & p\r$ out my compla9t to ,god 9 ! bitt]ness ( my s\l4,9 ! aft]noon ,i rode to ,new>k1 & _h "s sweetness 9 conv]sation ) ,mr4 ,burr1 & 9 pray+ toge!r4 ,o bless$ be ,god = ev] & ev]1 = any enliv5+ & quick5+6 ,"l's-day1 ,m>* #bj4 ,i prea*$ 9 ! =5oon3 ,god gave me "s assi/ance & sweetness1 & enabl$ me to speak ) real t5d]ness1 love1 & imp>tiality4 ,9 ! ev5+1 ,i prea*$ aga92 &1 ( a tru?1 ,god 0 pleas$ to assi/ a poor worm4 ,bless$ be ,god1 ,i 0 enabl$ to speak ) life1 p[]1 & passionate desire ( ! edification ( ,god's p4 99,9 ! ev5+1 ,i felt some?+ spiritual & wat*ful1 le/ my he>t %\ld by any means be drawn away f ,god4 ,oh1 :5 %all ,i come to t bless$ _w1 :]e e p[] ( my s\l w be incessantly & et]nally w\nd up1 9 heav5ly employm5ts & enjoym5ts1 to ! highe/ degree6 ,on ,monday he w5t to ,woodbridge1 :]e ! correspond5ts1 in/ead ( s5d+ him to ! ,=ks ( ,delaw>e1 ord]$ him to g to a numb] ( ,indians1 at ,kaunaumeek1 a place 9 ! prov9ce ( ,new-,york1 9 ! woods betwe5 ,/ockbridge & ,albany4 ,?is alt]ation 0 occasion$ by two ?+s1 #a4 ,in=mation !y _h receiv$ ( "s cont5tion n[ subsi/+ betwe5 ! :ite p & ! ,indians at ,delaw>e1 :i* !y suppos$ w\ld be a h9drance at pres5t to _! ent]ta9m5t ( a mission>y1 & to 8 success among !m4 ,&1 #b4 ,"s intimations !y _h receiv$ f ,mr4 ,s]geant1 mission>y to ! ,indians at ,/ockbridge1 conc]n+ ! ,indians at ,kaunaumeek1 & ! prospect ( success t a mission>y might h among !m4 ,,"p ,v4 ,f 8 fir/ beg9n+ to in/ruct ! ,indians at ,kaunaumeek1 to 8 ,ord9ation4 ,,friday1 ,april #a1 #agdc4 ,i rode to ,kaunaumeek1 ne> tw5ty miles f ,/ockbridge1 :]e ! ,indians live1 & ,i lodg$ on a little heap ( /raw4 ,i 0 greatly ex]cis$ ) inw>d di/resses all day2 & 9 ! ev5+ seem$ to h no ,god to g to4 ,o t ,god w\ld help me6 ,! place 0 suffici5tly lonesome1 & unpleasant1 be+ encompass$ ) m\nta9s & woods2 tw5ty miles di/ant f any ,engli% inhabitants2 six or sev5 f any ,dut*2 & m ?an two f a family t came1 f ! ,highl&s ( ,scotl&1 & _h !n liv$ ab\t two ye>s 9 ?is wild]ness4 ,9 ?is family ,i lodg$ ab\t ! space ( ?ree mon?s1 ! ma/] ( x be+ ! only p]son ) :om ,i c\ld readily conv]se 9 ^? p>ts1 except my int]pret]2 o!rs und]/&+ v little ,engli%4 ,?ursday1 ,april #g4 ,i appe>$ to myself exce$+ ignorant1 weak1 helpless1 & altoge!r unequal to my "w4 ,x seem$ to me ,i %\ld nev] d any s]vice1 or h any success among ! ,indians4 ,my s\l 0 we>y ( life3 ,i long$ = dea?1 beyond measure4 ,:5 ,i ?\ght ( any godly s\l dep>t$1 my s\l 0 ready to envy him 8 privilege1 ?9k+1 8,oh1 :5 w my turn come6 ,mu/ x be ye>s fir/60,b ,i "k ^? desires rose p>tly = want ( resignation to ,god4 ,t[>ds night1 ,i _h fai? 9 pray]1 & "s assi/ance 9 writ+4 ,o t ,god w\ld keep me ne> him6 99,friday1 ,april #h4 ,i 0 exce$+ly press$ "u a s5se ( my p>ty-_s1 9 times pa/1 :ile ,i attempt$ to promote ! cause ( ,god3 its vile nature appe>$ 9 su* odi\s col\rs1 t my v he>t 0 pa9$3 ,i saw h[ poor s\ls /umbl$ ov] x into ev]la/+ de/ruction1 & 0 con/ra9$ to make t pray] 9 ! bitt]ness ( my s\l1 8,o ,"l1 deliv] me f blood-guilt9ess40 ,i saw my des]t ( hell on ?is acc\nt4 ,my s\l 0 full ( angui% & %ame be=e ,god1 t ,i _h sp5t s mu* "t 9 conv]sation t5d+ only to promote a p>ty-_s4 ,i saw ,i _h n duly priz$ mortification1 self-d5ial1 resignation "u all adv]sities1 meekness1 love1 c&\r1 & hol9ess ( he>t & life4,( late1 ,i h ?\ght mu* ( hav+ ! k+dom ( ,*ri/ advanc$ 9 ! _w2 b n[ ,i saw ,i _h en\gh to d myself4 ,! ,"l be m]ciful to me a s9n]4 ,"l's-day1 ,april #aj4 ,i prea*$ to ! ,indians1 bo? =5oon & aft]noon4 ,!y behav$ sob]ly 9 g5]al3 two or ?ree appe>$ "u "s conc]n2 ) :om ,i disc\rs$ privately2 & "o told me1 8h] he>t _h cri$1 ev] s9ce %e he>d me prea* fir/40 ,w$nesday1 ,april #ac4 ,i v]ily ?\ght ,i 0 ! meane/1 vile/1 mo/ helpless1 ignorant creature liv+4 ,& yet ,i knew :at ,god _h done = my s\l3 ?\gh sometimes ,i 0 assault$ ) d\bts1 :e!r x 0 possible = su* a wret* z ,i1 to be 9 a /ate ( grace4 ,tuesday1 ,april #ai4 ,9 ! morn+1 ,i enjoy$ sweet repose 9 ,god2 felt "s confid5ce2 & 0 refre%$ & com=t$4 ,my s\l 0 lift$ above ! deep wat]s1 :]e9 x has be5 s long almo/ dr[n$2 ,i f\nd myself engag$ = ! advancem5t ( ,*ri/'s k+dom 9 my own s\l1 m ?an 9 ! ,hea!n _w4 ,w$nesday1 ,april #bj4 ,i set ap>t ?is day = fa/+ & pray]1 to b[ my s\l be=e ,god = grace2 especially t all my inw>d di/resses might be sanctifi$ to my s\l4 ,i endeav\r$ also to rememb] ! goodness ( ,god to me 9 ! ye> pa/4 ,hav+ obta9$ help ( ,god1 ,i am n[ arriv$ at ! age ( tw5ty-five ye>s4 ,my s\l 0 pa9$1 to ?9k ( my b>r5ness2 t ,i h liv$ s little to ! glory ( ! et]nal ,god4 ,i sp5t ! day 9 ! woods alone1 & !re p\r$ out my compla9t to ,god4 ,o t ,god w\ld enable me to live to 8 glory = ! future6 99,friday1 ,april #bb4 ,my leanness te/ifies aga9/ me6 ,my s\l abhors itself = its unlik5ess to ,god1 its inactivity & sluggi%ness4 ,:5 ,i h done all1 :at an unpr(itable s]vant am ,i6 ,i groan to see ! h\rs ( ! day roll away1 because ,i d n fill !m1 9 spirituality & heav5ly-m9d$ness4 ,& yet ,i long !y %\ld spe$ _! pace1 to ha/5 me to my et]nal home1 :]e ,i may fill up all my mom5ts1 = ,god & 8 glory4 99,tuesday1 ,may #aj4 ,i 0 extremely press$ ) a s5se ( guilt1 pollution1 bl9dness2 ! s9s ( my y\? 7 set 9 ord] be=e me2 !y w5t ov] my head a burd51 too heavy = me to be>4 ,almo/ all ! actions ( my life pa/ seem to be cov]$ ov] ) s9 & guilt2 & ^? ( !m t ,i p]=m$ 9 ! mo/ consci5ti\s mann]1 n[ fill me ) %ame & confusion1 ,oh6 ! pride1 selfi%ness1 ignorance1 bitt]ness1 p>ty-zeal1 & ! want ( love1 c&\r1 meekness1 & g5tl5ess1 t h att5d$ my attempts to promote religion2 & ?is :5 ,i _h real assi/ance f above1 & "s sweet int]c\rse ) heav56 ,b1 :at corrupt mixtures att5d$ my be/ duties6 ,aft] sev]al weeks ,i f\nd my di/ance f ! ,indians a v great disadvantage1 z ,i 0 oblig$ to travel =w>d & backw>d almo/ daily on foot hav+ no pa/ure 9 :i* ,i c\ld keep my horse4 ,& aft] all my pa9s1 ,i c\ld n be ) !m 9 ! ev5+ & morn+1 :i* 7 h\rs :5 !y c\ld be/ att5d my in/ructions4 ,i !re=e resolv$ to remove1 & live ) or ne> ! ,indians1 t ,i might wat* :5 !y 7 at home & take t "t = _! in/ruction4 ,accord+ly ,i remov$ & = a "t liv$ ) !m 9 "o ( _! wigwams3 n long aft] ,i built me a small h\se1 :]e ,i sp5t ! rema9d] ( t ye> alone2 my int]pret] 7:o 0 an ,indian7 *oos+ r to live 9 a wigwam among 8 own c\ntrym54 ,b al?\gh ! difficulties ( ?is solit>y way ( liv+ are n ! lea/1 yet ,i c truly say ! burd5 ,i felt respect+ my great "w among ! poor ,indians1 ! fe> & conc]n t cont9ually hung ^u my _s1 le/ !y %\ld be prejudic$ aga9/ ,*ri/ianity1 by means ( "s :o 7al?\gh !y are call$ ,*ri/ians7 _h r ! ,indians %\ld rema9 hea!ns1 t !y may ) m ease *eat !m2 ! fe> & conc]n ,i felt 9 ^! respects1 7 mu* m press+ to me1 ?an all ! difficulties t att5d$ ! circum/ances ( my liv+4 ,z to ! /ate or temp] ( m9d1 9 :i* ,i f\nd ^! ,indians1 at my fir/ com+ among !m1 x 0 mu* m enc\rag+1 ?an expect$4 ,_! prejudices aga9/ ,*ri/ianity1 7 9 a great measure remov$ by ! long cont9u$ lab\rs ( ! ,rev4 ,mr4 ,s]geant among a numb] ( ! same tribe1 9 a place m ?an tw5ty miles di/ant3 by :i* means1 ^! 7 9 "s degree1 prep>$ to ent]ta9 ! tru?s ( ,*ri/ianity in/ead ( object+ aga9/ !m z is common ) !m at fir/4 ,"s ( !m appe>$ well dispos$ t[>d religion1 & seem$ pleas$ ) my com+ among !m4 99,w$nesday1 ,may #ah4 ,my circum/ances are su* t ,i h no com=t1 ( any k9d1 b :at ,i h 9 ,god4 ,i live 9 ! mo/ lonesome wild]ness2 h b "o s+le p]son to conv]se )1 t c speak ,engli%4 ,mo/ ( ! talk ,i he>1 is ei!r ,highl& ,scot* or ,indian4 ,i h no fell[-,*ri/ian to :om ,i might unbosom myself1 & lay op5 my spiritual sorr[s1 & ) :om ,i might take sweet c\nsel ab\t heav5ly ?+s1 & jo9 9 pray]4 ,i live poorly ) reg>d to ! com=ts ( life3 mo/ ( my diet consi/s ( boil$ corn1 & ha/y pudd+4 ,i lodge on a bundle ( /raw1 my lab\r is h>d2 & ,i h little appe>ance ( success4 ,! ,indian affairs are v difficult2 hav+ no l& to live on1 b :at ! ,dut* ?reat5 to drive !m f2 !y h no reg>d to ! s\ls ( ! poor ,indians2 & !y hate me1 because ,i come to prea* to !m4,b t :i* makes all my difficulties griev\s to be borne1 is1 t 8,god hides 8 face f me40 ,?is p]son 0 ,mr4 ,bra9]d's int]pret]2 :o 0 an +5i\s "y ,indian belong+ to ,/ockbridge1 ^: "n 0 ,john ,wauwaumpequunaunt1 :o _h be5 in/ruct$ 9 ! ,*ri/ian religion by ,mr4 ,s]geant2 und]/ood bo? ,engli% & ,indian v well1 & wrote a good h&4 ,"h he _h v>i\s ex]cises ( m9d2 f 8 fir/ com+ to ,kaunaumeek1 till he got into 8 own h\se1 a little hut t he made *iefly ) 8 own h&s1 ) long & h>d lab\r4 ,h[ x 0 ) him 9 ^? d>k seasons he fur!r describes 9 8 di>y = ,july #b4 8,my s\l is1 & has = a long "t be5 9 a pitie\s condition1 wad+ ?r\gh a s]ies ( sorr[s1 ( v>i\s k9ds4 ,i h be5 s cru%$ d[n sometimes ) a s5se ( my meanness & inf9ite unwor?9ess1 t ,i h be5 a%am$ t any1 ev5 ! meane/ ( my fell[ creatures1 %\ld s mu* z sp5d a ?\ght ab\t me1 & h wi%$ :ile ,i h travell$ among ! ?ick brakes1 to drop into ev]la/+ oblivion4 ,9 ?is case1 ,i h almo/ resolv$ nev] aga9 to see any ( my acqua9tance2 & really ?\ght1 ,i c\ld n be se5 or he>d ( any m4,sometimes ! consid]ation ( my ignorance has be5 a means ( my great di/ress & anxiety4 ,& especially my s\l has be5 9 angui% ) fe>1 %ame & guilt1 t ev] ,i _h prea*$1 or _h any ?\ght t way4,sometimes my s\l has be5 9 di/ress on feel+ "s p>ticul> corruptions3 hav+ at ! same "t1 t5 ?\s& =m] s9s & follies pres5t$ to my view4,& ^! att5d$ ) su* ext]nal circum/ances z m9e at pres5t are2 de/itute ( mo/ ( ! conv5i5ces ( life1 & ,i may say1 ( all ! pleasures ( x2 )\t a fri5d to communicate any ( my sorr[s to1 & sometimes )\t any place ( retirem5t1 :]e ,i may unburd5 my s\l be=e ,god1 :i* has greatly contribut$ to my di/ress40 ,"o ma9 occasion ( t di/ress+ gloom9ess1 next to natural melan*oly1 0 reflect+ on 8 pa/ errors & misguid$ zeal at college4 ,!re=e he repeat$ 8 endeav\rs = reconciliation ) ! gov]nors ( ! college4 ,& al?\gh he _h be5 at ,new-,hav51 9 ,june1 & _h attempt$ a reconciliation2 yet 9 ! beg9n+ ( ,july1 he made ano!r j\rney ?i!r1 & r5ew$ 8 attempt1 b /ill 9 va94 8melan*olly0 replac$ ) 8melan*oly0 ,saturday1 ,july #cj4 ,j at night1 ,i mov$ into my own h\se1 & lodg$ !re2 & ,i f\nd x mu* bett] sp5d+ ! "t alone at my own h\se1 ?an 9 ! wigwam :]e ,i 0 be=e4 ,w$nesday1 ,augu/ #c4 ,i am n[ un9t]ruptly alone2 & f9d my retirem5t com=table4 ,i h enjoy$ m s5se ( div9e ?+s )9 a few days pa/1 ?an = "s "t be=e4 ,i long$ aft] hol9ess1 humility & meekness3 ,o t ,god w\ld enable me to 8pass ! "t ( my soj\rn+ "h 9 8 fe>10 & always live to him6 99,?ursday1 ,augu/ #d4 ,i h g5]ally f\nd ! m ,i d 9 secret pray]1 ! m ,i enjoy ( a _s ( pray]2 & ,i frequ5tly h f\nd ! contr>y1 :5 ) j\rney+ or o!rwise1 ,i h be5 depriv$ ( retirem5t4 ,a seasonable /eady p]=mance ( secret duties 9 _! prop] h\rs1 & a c>eful improvem5t ( all "t1 fill+ up e h\r ) "s pr(itable lab\r1 ei!r ( he>t1 head1 or h&s1 are excell5t means ( spiritual peace & boldness be=e ,god4 8,*ri/0 inde$ 8is our peace1 & by him we h boldness ( access to ,god20 b a good consci5ce void ( (f5ce1 is an excell5t prep>ation = an approa* to ! div9e pres5ce4 ,fill+ up our "t ) & = ,god1 is ! way to rise up & lie d[n 9 peace4 ,saturday1 ,augu/ #ac4 ,i 0 enabl$ 9 secret pray] to raise my s\l to ,god1 ) desire & delight4 ,x 0 inde$ a bless$ season to my s\l3 ,i f\nd ! com=t ( be+ a ,*ri/ian3 8,i c\nt$ ! suff]+s ( ! pres5t life n wor?y to be comp>$ ) ! glory0 ( div9e enjoym5ts ev5 9 ?is _w4 ,all my pa/ sorr[s seem$ to disappe>1 & ,i 8rememb]$ no m ! sorr[ = joy40,) :at a filial t5d]ness1 ! s\l hangs on1 & confides 9 ! ,rock ( ages1 at su* a season1 t he w 8nev] leave x nor =sake x10 t he w cause all ?+s to "w toge!r = its good2 ,i long$ t o!rs %\ld "k h[ good a ,god ! ,"l is4 ,my s\l 0 full ( t5d]ness & love1 ev5 to ! mo/ invet]ate ( my enemies4 ,i long$ t ,god %\ld d j z he pleas$ ) me & e ?+ else4 ,i felt exce$+ s]i\s1 calm1 & peaceful1 & enc\rag$ to press aft] hol9ess z long z ,i live1 :atev] difficulties & trials may be 9 my way4 ,monday1 ,augu/ #ae4 ,9 my weak /ate ( body1 ,i 0 n a little di/ress$ = want ( suitable food4 ,i am =c$ to g or s5d t5 or fifte5 miles = all ! bread ,i eat2 & sometimes x is m\ldy & s\r be=e ,i eat x1 if ,i get any consid]able quantity3 & !n aga9 ,i h none = "s days toge!r1 = want ( an opportunity to s5d = x4 ,& ?is 0 my case n[3 b ?r\gh div9e goodness ,i _h "s ,indian meal1 ( :i* ,i made little cakes1 & fri$ !m4 ,& ,i felt cont5t$ ) my circum/ances1 & sweetly resign$ to ,god4 ,9 pray] ,i enjoy$ great fre$om2 & bless$ ,god z mu* = my pres5t circum/ances1 z if ,i _h be5 a k+1 & ,i nev] feel com=tably1 b :5 ,i f9d my s\l go+ =? aft] ,god3 if ,i _c be holy1 ,i mu/ be mis]able = ev]4 ,"l's day1 ,augu/ #ba4 ,i fell d[n be=e ! ,"l1 & groan$ "u my own vil5ess1 b>r5ness1 deadness1 & felt z if ,i 0 guilty ( f\l murd]1 9 speak+ to immortal s\ls 9 su* a mann] z ,i _h done4,i 0 v full ( pa9 9 ! ev5+2 & my s\l m\rn$ t ,i _h sp5t s mu* "t to s little pr(it4 99,monday1 ,augu/ #bb4 ,i _h int5se brea?+s ( s\l aft] hol9ess1 & v cle> manife/ations ( my utt] inability to "w x 9 myself4 ,o1 ) :at t5d]ness ! love & desire ( hol9ess fills ! s\l6 ,i want$ to w+ out ( myself to ,god1 or r to get a con=mity to him3 b1 alas6 ,i _c add to my /ature 9 grace "o cubit4 ,h[ev]1 my s\l c nev] leave /riv+ = x2 or at lea/ groan+1 t x _c obta9 purity ( he>t4 99,tuesday1 ,augu/ #bc4 ,i p\r$ out my s\l = all ! _w1 fri5ds1 & enemies4 ,my s\l 0 conc]n$ = ,*ri/'s k+dom t x might appe> 9 ! :ole e>?4 ,& ,i abhorr$ ! v ?\ght ( a p>ty 9 religion6 ,let ! tru? ( ,god appe>1 :]ev] x is2 & ,god h ! glory = ev]4 ,w$nesday1 ,augu/ #bd4 ,i ?\ght1 if ,god %\ld say1 8,y %all 9 a few days g into et]nity10 my s\l w\ld leap = joy4 ,o t ,i may bo? 8desire to be dissolv$10 & 8wait pati5tly all ! days ( my appo9t$ "t till my *ange come60,b1 alas6 ,i am v unfit = ! bus9ess & bless$ness ( heav54,o = m hol9ess6 99,?ursday1 ,augu/ #be4 ,i f9d x is impossible to enjoy peace & tranquility ( m9d )\t a c>eful improvem5t ( "t4 ,?is is really an imitation ( ,god & ,*ri/ ,jesus3 8,my fa!r worke? hi!rto1 & ,i "w10 says our ,"l4 ,&1 if we w\ld be l ,god1 we mu/ see t we fill up our "t = him4,i daily long to dwell 9 p]fect light & love4 ,9 ! mean "t1 my s\l m\rns t ,i make s little prep>ation = ! _w ( bless$ness3 ,i see & "k t ,i am a b>r5 tree 9 ,god's v9ey>d1 & t he might ju/ly say1 8,cut x d[n40 ,o t ,god w\ld make me m lively & vigor\s 9 grace1 = 8 own glory6 ,"l's-day1 ,augu/ #bh4 ,i 0 mu* p]plex$ ) "s ,dut*m54 ,all _! disc\rse turn$ ^u ! ?+s ( ! _w4 ,oh1 :at a hell x w\ld be to sp5d an et]nity ) su* m56 ,well might ,david say1 8,i beheld ! transgressors & 0 griev$40,b ador$ be ,god1 heav5 is a place 8into :i* no unclean ?+ ent]s40 ,o ,i long = ! hol9ess ( t _w6 ,"l prep>e me = x4 ,w$nesday1 ,augu/ #ca4 ,et]nal ?+s engross$ all my ?\ghts2 & ,i long$ to be 9 ! _w ( spirits4 ,o h[ happy is x1 to h all our ?\ghts swall[$ up 9 t _w2 to feel "o's self a /rang] 9 ?is1 dilig5tly seek+ a road ?r\gh x1 a sure road to ! heav5ly ,j]usalem6 ,?ursday1 ,septemb] #a4 ,i always feel com=tably :5 ,god realizes dea?1 & ! ?+s ( ano!r _w to my m9d3 :5ev] my m9d is tak5 (f f ! ?+s ( ?is _w1 & set on ,god1 my s\l is at re/4 ,tuesday1 ,septemb] #ac4 ,i rode to ,new-,hav54 99,i f9d1 ?\gh my inw>d trials are great1 & a life ( solitude gives !m great] advantages to p5etrate ! inmo/ recesses ( ! s\l2 yet x is bett] to be alone1 ?an incumb]$ ) noise & tumult4 ,i f9d x v difficult ma9ta9+ a s5se ( div9e ?+s1 :ile remov+ f place to place1 div]t$ ) new objects1 & fill$ ) c>e & bus9ess4 ,a settl$ /eady bus9ess is be/ adapt$ to a life ( /rict religion4 ,w$nesday1 ,septemb] #ad4 ,?is day ,i ought to h tak5 my degree2 b ,god sees fit to d5y x me4 ,& ?\gh ,i 0 afraid ( be+ ov]:elm$ ) confusion1 :5 ,i %\ld see my class-mates take !irs2 yet1 9 ! v season ( x1 ,god enabl$ me ) calmness to say1 8,! w ( ! ,"l be done40 ,inde$1 ,i h sc>cely felt my m9d s s$ate & com=table = "s "t4 ,i h long fe>$ ?is season1 & expect$ my humility1 meekness1 pati5ce1 & resignation w\ld be tri$3 b f\nd mu* m pleasure & div9e com=t ?an ,i expect$4 ,?is be+ comm5cem5t-day4 ,?ursday1 ,septemb] #ae4 ,x is always a com=t to me1 to he> spiritual disc\rse4 ,o t m9i/]s & p 7 m spiritual & devot$ to ,god6,t[>ds night1 ,i (f]$ ! foll[+ reflections 9 writ+1 to ! rector & tru/ees ( ! college1 7! same t ,i _h (f]$ to ! rector be=e1 & intreat$ him to accept27 & ?is ,i did1 t if possible ,i might cut (f all occasion ( (f5ce1 f ^? t seek occasion4 duplicate ^w 8&0 remov$ 998,:]eas ,i h said be=e sev]al p]sons1 conc]n+ ,mr4 ,:ittelsey1 "o ( ! tutors ( ,yale-college1 t ,i did n believe he _h any m grace ?an ! *air ,i !n lean$ ^u2 ,i humbly confess t h]e9 ,i h s9n$ aga9/ ,god1 & act$ contr>y to ! rules ( 8 ^w1 & h injur$ ,mr4 ,:ittelsey4 ,i _h no "r to make ?us free ) 8 "*2 & _h no j reason to say z ,i did conc]n+ him4 ,my fault h]e9 0 ! m aggravat$1 9 t ,i said ?is conc]n+ "o t 0 s mu* my sup]ior1 & "o t ,i 0 oblig$ to treat ) special respect & hon\r1 by reason ( ! relation ,i /ood 9 to him 9 ! college4 ,su* a mann] ( behavi\r1 ,i confess1 did n become a ,*ri/ian2 x 0 tak+ too mu* ^u me1 & did n fav\r ( t humble respect1 t ,i ought to h express$ t[>ds ,mr4 ,:ittelsey4 ,i h (t5 reflect$ on ?is act ) grief1 on acc\nt ( ! s9 ( x3 & am will+ to lie l[1 & be abas$ be=e ,god & man = x3 & humbly ask ! =giv5ess ( ! gov]nors ( ! college1 & ( ! :ole society2 b ( ,mr4 ,:ittelsey 9 p>ticul>4 ,& ,i n[ appe>1 to judge & condemn myself = go+ once to ! sep>ate meet+ 9 ,new-,hav51 ?\gh ! rector _h refus$ to give me leave4 ,= ?is ,i humbly ask ! rector's =giv5ess4 ,& :e!r ! gov]nors ( ! college %all ev] see cause to remove ! academical c5sure ,i lie "u1 or no1 yet ,i am will+ to appe>1 if !y ?9k fit1 op5ly to own1 & to humble myself = ^? ?+s ,i h h]e9 confess$40 99,god has made me will+ to d any ?+1 t ,i c d1 consi/5t ) tru?1 = ! sake ( peace1 & t ,i might n be a /umbl+-block & (f5ce to o!rs4 ,= ?is reason ,i c *e>fully give up :at ,i v]ily believe1 aft] ! mo/ imp>tial se>*1 is my "r4 ,god has giv5 me t disposition1 t if ?is 7 ! case1 t a man has done me an hundr$ injuries1 & ,i 7?\gh ev] s mu* provok$ to x7 h done him "o1 ,i am he>tily will+ humbly to confess my fault to him1 & on my knees to ask =giv5ess ( him2 ?\gh at ! same "t he %\ld ju/ify himself 9 all ! injuries he has done me1 & %\ld only make use ( my humble confession to black5 my "* ! m1 & repres5t me z ! only p]son guilty2 yea1 ?\gh he %\ld z x 7 insult me1 & say1 8he knew all ?is be=e1 & t ,i 0 mak+ "w = rep5tance40 ,?\gh :at ,i said conc]n+ ,mr4 ,:ittelsey 0 only spok5 9 private1 to a fri5d or two2 & be+ p>tly ov]he>d1 0 relat$ to ! rector1 & by him extort$ f my fri5ds2 yet1 see+ x 0 divulg$ & made public1 ,i 0 will+ to confess my fault !re9 publickly4 ,i 0 witness to ! v ,*ri/ian _s ,mr4 ,bra9]d %ew$ at t "t1 be+ !n at ,new-,hav51 & be+ "o t he saw fit to consult on t occasion4 7,?is 0 ! fir/ "t t ev] ,i _h opportunity ( p]sonal acqua9tance ) him47 ,!re appe>$ 9 him a great degree ( calmness & humility2 )\t ! lea/ appe>ance ( ris+ ( _s = any ill-treatm5t he _h suff]$1 or ! lea/ backw>dness to abase himself be=e !m :om he ?\ght1 _h wrong$ him4 ,:at he did 0 )\t any appe>ance ( reluctance ev5 9 private to 8 fri5ds4 ,e>ne/ application 0 made on 8 behalf to ! au?ority ( ! college1 t he might h 8 degree !n giv5 him2 & p>ticul>ly by ! ,rev4 ,mr4 ,burr ( ,new>k1 "o ( ! correspond5ts ( ! hon\rable society 9 ,scotl&2 he be+ s5t f ,new-,j]sey to ,new-,hav51 by ! re/ ( ! commission]s1 = t end2 & _m argum5ts 7 us$1 b )\t success4,:at mann] ( _s 7 ^! gov]nors (8 ,d ^! d>e to call !mselves ,*ri/ians8 ,:at is ?is ,mr4 ,:ittelsey8 ,0 he wor?y to c>ry ,mr4 ,bra9]d's books aft] him8 ,! next day he w5t to ,d]by2 !n to ,s\?bury1 :]e he sp5t ! ,sabba?4 ,tuesday1 ,septemb] #bj4 ,i _h ?\ghts ( go+ =w>d on my j\rney to my ,indians2 b t[>ds night 0 tak5 ) a h>d pa9 9 my tee?1 & %iv]+ cold1 & c\ld n possibly recov] a com=table decree ( w>m? ! :ole night foll[+4 ,i cont9u$ v full ( pa9 all night2 & 9 ! morn+ _h a fev]1 & pa9s almo/ all ov] my body4 ,i _h a s5se ( ! div9e goodness 9 appo9t+ ?is to be ! place ( my sickness1 among my fri5ds4 ,i %\ld probably h p]i%$1 if ,i _h fir/ got home to my own h\se 9 ! wild]ness1 :]e ,i h none to conv]se ) b ! poor rude ignorant ,indians4 ,i cont9u$ ?us1 mo/ly conf9$ to my b$1 till ,friday night2 v full ( pa92 b n afraid ( dea?4,on ,friday ev5+ my pa9s w5t (f sudd5ly4 ,f ?is "t1 he gradually recov]$2 & on ! next ,tuesday 0 able to g =w>d on 8 j\rney2 b 0 till ! ,tuesday foll[+ be=e he rea*$ ,kaunaumeek4 ,tuesday1 ,octob] #d4 ,?is day ,i rode home to my own h\se & p4 ,! poor ,indians appe>$ v glad ( my return4 ,i pres5tly fell on my knees1 & bless$ ,god = my safe return4 ,i h tak5 _m consid]able j\rneys s9ce ?is "t la/ ye>1 & yet ,god has nev] suff]$ "o ( my bones to be brok51 or any calamity to befal me1 ?\gh ,i h be5 (t5 expos$ to cold & hung] 9 ! wild]ness1 :]e ! com=ts ( life 7 n to be _h2 h frequ5tly be5 lo/ 9 ! woods2 & once lay out 9 ! woods all night4 ,"l's-day1 ,octob] #af4 ,i retir$1 & p\r$ out my s\l to ,god ) mu* fre$om2 & yet 9 angui%1 to f9d my s\l s unspeakably s9ful & unwor?y be=e a holy ,god4 ,i 0 n[ mu* resign$ "u ,god's disp5sations t[>ds me1 ?\gh my trials _h be5 v great4 ,b ?\ght :e!r ,i c\ld be resign$1 if ,god %\ld let ! ,fr5* ,indians come ^u me1 & deprive me ( my life1 or c>ry me away captive1 7?\gh ,i knew ( no special reason !n to propose ?is trial to myself17 & my s\l seem$ s f> to re/ 9 ,god1 t ! /+ & t]ror ( ^! ?+s 0 gone4 ,pres5tly aft] ,i receiv$ ! foll[+ lett] by a mess5g] s5t on purpose4 8,sir1 ,j n[ we receiv$ advices f ,colonel ,/odd>d1 t !re is ! utmo/ dang] ( a rupture ) ,france4 ,he has receiv$ ! same f 8 excell5cy our gov]nor1 ord]+ him to give notice to all ! expos$ places1 t !y may secure !mselves ! be/ !y c aga9/ any sudd5 invasion4 ,we ?\ght be/ to s5d directly to ,kaunaumeek1 t y may take ! prud5te/ measures = y\r safety4 ,i am1 ,sir1 c40 ,i ?\ght1 x came 9 a good season2 = my he>t seem$ fix$ on ,god1 & !re=e ,i 0 n surpris$3 b ?is news only made me m s]i\s1 & taught me t ,i mu/ n please myself ) any ( ! com=ts ( life :i* ,i _h be5 prep>+4 ,"l's-day1 ,octob] #bc4 ,i _h "s fre$om & w>m?1 bo? p>ts ( ! day4 ,& my p 7 v att5tive4 ,9 ! ev5+1 two or ?ree came to me "u conc]n = _! s\ls2 to :om ,i 0 enabl$ to disc\rse closely1 & ) "s e>ne/ness4 ,he seems1 ?r\gh ! :ole ( ?is week1 to h be5 greatly engag$ to fill up e in* ( "t 9 ! s]vice ( ,god1 & to h be5 mo/ dilig5tly employ$ 9 /udy1 pray]1 & in/ruct+ ! ,indians2 & f "t to "t expresses long+s ( s\l aft] ,god1 & ! advancem5t ( 8 k+dom4 ,monday1 ,octob] #ca4 ,my s\l 0 s lift$ up to ,god1 t ,i c\ld p\r out my desires to him1 = m grace & fur!r degrees ( sanctification1 ) abundant fre$om4 ,i long$ to be m abundantly prep>$ = t bless$ness1 ) :i* ,i 0 !n 9 "s measure refre%$4 ,?ursday1 ,novemb] #c4 ,i sp5t ?is day 9 secret fa/+ & pray]1 f morn+ till night4 ,e>ly 9 ! morn+1 ,i _h "s assi/ance 9 pray]4 ,aft]w>ds1 ,i read ! /ory ( ,elijah ! prophet1 #a ,k+s xvii4 xviii4 & xix4 *apt]s4 ,my s\l 0 mu* mov$1 obs]v+ ! fai?1 zeal1 & p[] ( t holy man2 & h[ he wre/l$ ) ,god 9 pray]4 ,i !n cri$ ) ,eli%a1 8,:]e is ! ,"l ,god ( ,elijah60 ,i long$ = m fai?6 ,my s\l brea!d aft] ,god1 & plead$ ) him1 t a 8d\ble portion ( t _s10 :i* 0 giv5 to ,elijah1 might 8re/ on me40 ,& t :i* 0 refre%+ to my s\l1 01 ,i saw ,god is ! same t he 0 9 ! days ( ,elijah4,i 0 enabl$ to wre/le ) ,god by pray]1 9 a m affectionate1 humble1 & importunate mann]1 ?an ,i h = _m mon?s pa/4 ,no?+ seem$ too h>d = ,god to p]=m2 no?+ too great = me to hope = f him4,i _h = _m mon?s lo/ all hopes ( do+ any special s]vice = ,god 9 ! _w2 x appe>$ entirely impossible1 t "o s vile %\ld be ?us employ$ = ,god4 ,b at ?is "t ,god 0 pleas$ to revive ?is hope4,aft]w>ds ,i read ! ?ird *apt] ( ,exodus & on to ! xx?1 & saw m ( ! glory & maje/y ( ,god discov]$ 9 ^? *apt]s1 ?an ev] ,i _h se5 be=e2 frequ5tly 9 ! mean "t fall+ on my knees1 & cry+ to ,god = ! fai? ( ,moses1 & = a manife/ation ( ! div9e glory4 ,my s\l 0 ard5t 9 pray]1 & ,i 0 enabl$ to wre/le = myself1 = my fri5ds1 & = ! *ur* ( ,god4 ,& ,i felt m desire to see ! p[] ( ,god 9 ! conv]sion ( s\ls1 ?an ,i h done = a long season4 ,bless$ be ,god = ?is season ( fa/+ & pray]6 ,may 8 goodness always abide ) me1 & draw my s\l to him6 99,monday ,novemb] #g4 ,?is morn+ my m9d 0 solemn1 fix$1 affectionate1 & ard5t 9 desires aft] hol9ess2 & felt full ( t5d]ness & love2 & my affections seem$ to be dissolv$ into k9dness & s(tness4,my s\l long$ aft] ,god1 & cri$ to him ) filial fre$om1 rev]5ce1 & boldness4 ,o t ,i might be entirely consecrat$ & devot$ to ,god6 ,?ursday1 ,novemb] #aj4 ,i sp5t ?is day 9 fa/+ & pray]4 ,9 ! morn+ ,i 0 dull & lifeless3 ,b aft] "s "t1 read+ #b ,k+s xix4 *apt]1 my s\l 0 mov$ & affect$4 ,i saw !re 0 no way = ! afflict$ to take1 b to g to ,god ) all _! sorr[s4 ,hezekiah1 9 8 great di/ress1 w5t & spread 8 compla9t be=e ! ,"l4 ,i 0 !n enabl$ to see ! mighty p[] ( ,god1 & my extreme ne$ ( t p[]2 & to cry to ,god affectionately & ard5tly = 8 p[] to be ex]cis$ t[>ds me4 ,! rema9+ "p ( ?is week1 & ! two foll[+ weeks1 he 0 v ill1 & full ( pa92 & yet oblig$1 to be at great fatigues1 travell+ day & night1 9 /ormy & sev]e seasons4 ,he f "t to "t1 )9 ?is space1 speaks ( out-go+s ( s\l aft] ,god2 8 he>t /r5g!n$ 9 ,god2 seasons ( div9e sweetness & com=t4 ,& yet !re are _m compla9ts ( lifelessness1 di/ance f ,god1 & unpr(itabl5ess4 ,b /ill !re appe>s a con/ant c>e1 f day to day1 n to lose "t1 b to employ x all = ,god4 ,tuesday1 ,novemb] #bi4 ,i began to /udy ! ,indian tongue1 ) ,mr4 ,s]geant at ,/ockbridge4,i 0 p]plex$ = want ( m retirem5t4,i love to live alone 9 my own little cottage1 :]e ,i c sp5d mu* "t 9 pray]4 8,/ockbrige0 replac$ ) 8,/ockbridge0 ,! commission]s _h direct$ him to sp5d mu* "t ?is w9t] ) ,mr4 ,s]geant1 to le>n ! language ( ! ,indians2 :i* necessitat$ him v (t5 to ride1 backw>ds & =w>ds1 tw5ty miles ?r\gh ! un9habit$ woods betwe5 ,/ockbridge & ,kaunaumeek4 ,?is _m times expos$ him to extreme h>d%ip 9 t sev]e season4 ,monday1 ,decemb] #e4 ,i rode to ,/ockbridge1 b 0 almo/ outdone ) ! extreme cold4 ,i _h "s refre%+ m$itations by ! way2 b 0 b>r5 & lifeless1 mu* ( ! day4 ,?us my days roll away1 ) b little done = ,god2 & ?is is my burd54 ,tuesday1 ,decemb] #f4 ,i 0 p]plex$ to see ! vanity & levity ( pr(ess$ ,*ri/ians3 b ,i sp5t ! ev5+ ) a ,*ri/ian fri5d1 t 0 able to sympa?ize ) me 9 my spiritual conflicts4 99,?ursday1 ,decemb] #h4 ,my m9d 0 lo/ ) diff]5t affections4 ,i 0 look+ r\nd 9 ! _w1 to see if !re 0 n "s happ9ess to be d]iv$ f x4 ,god1 & "s objects 9 ! _w seem$ ea* to invite my he>t1 & my s\l seem$ to be di/ract$ betwe5 !m4 ,i h n be5 s beset = a long "t3 ) relation to "s objects :i* ,i ?\ght myself mo/ dead to4 ,b :ile ,i 0 desir+ to please myself ) any ?+ bel[1 sorr[ & p]plexity att5d$ ! fir/ motions ( desire4,i f\nd no peace or deliv]ance f di/raction1 till ,i f\nd access to ! ?rone ( grace2 & z soon z ,i _h any s5se ( ,god1 ! allurem5ts ( ! _w vani%$4 ,b my s\l m\rn$ ov] my folly1 t ,i %\ld desire any pleasure1 b 9 ,god4 ,god =give my spiritual idolatry4 ,?ursday1 ,decemb] #bb4 ,i sp5t ?is day alone 9 fa/+ & pray]1 & read+ 9 ,god's ^w ! ex]cises & deliv]ance ( 8 *ildr54 ,i _h realiz+ appreh5sions ( div9e p[]1 grace1 & hol9ess2 & also ( ! un*angeabl5ess ( ,god1 t he is ! same z he 0 :5 he deliv]$ 8 sa9ts ( old out ( tribulation4 ,my s\l 0 sundry times 9 pray] enl>g$ = ,god's *ur* & p4 ,o t ,zion might become ! 8joy ( ! :ole e>?60 ,monday1 ,decemb] #bf4 ,i rode d[n to ,/ockbridge1 b 0 v mu* fatigu$ ) my j\rney1 :]e9 ,i und]w5t great h>d%ip3 be+ v wet by fall+ into a riv]4 ,i sp5t ! day )\t mu* s5se ( div9e ?+s2 b p]plex$ ) w&]+ ?\ghts4 ,?ursday1 ,decemb] #bi4 ,i sp5t ! day ma9ly 9 conv]s+ ) fri5ds2 yet enjoy$ little satisfaction1 because ,i c\ld f9d b few dispos$ to conv]se ( heav5ly ?+s4 ,alas :at are ! ?+s ( ?is _w1 to af=d satisfaction to ! s\l6,i bless$ ,god = retirem5t1 & t ,i am n always expos$ to company4 ,o t ,i c\ld live 89 ! secret ( ,god's pres5ce60 ,friday1 ,decemb] #cj4 ,i 0 9 a solemn dev\t frame & wond]$ t e>? ) all its *>ms1 %\ld ev] allure me 9 ! lea/ degree4 ,o t ,i c\ld always realize ! be+ & hol9ess ( ,god6 ,saturday1 ,decemb] #ca4 ,i rode f ,/ockbridge home3 ! air 0 cle> & calm1 b z cold z ev] ,i felt x4 ,i 0 9 great dang] ( p]i%+ by ! extremity ( ! season4 ,"l's-day1 ,janu>y #a1 #agdcd4 ,( a tru? ,god has be5 graci\s to me ! pa/ ye>1 ?\gh he has caus$ me to pass ?r\gh _m sorr[s2 he has provid$ = me b\ntifully1 s t ,i h be5 enabl$ 9 ab\t fifte5 mon?'s pa/1 to be/[ to *>itable uses ab\t an hundr$ p\nds4 ,bless$ be ! ,"l1 t has s f> us$ me z 8 /ew>d to di/ribute a portion ( 8 goods4 ,may ,i always rememb]1 t all ,i h comes f ,god4 ,bless$ be ! ,"l1 t has c>ri$ me ?r\gh all ! toils1 fatigues1 & h>d%ips ( ! ye> pa/4 ,o t ,i c\ld beg9 ?is ye> ) ,god1 & sp5d ! :ole ( x to 8 glory1 ei!r 9 life or dea?6 ,tuesday1 ,janu>y #c4 ,my "t passes away s swiftly1 t ,i am a/oni%$ :5 ,i reflect h[ little ,i d 9 x4 ,my /ate ( solitude does n make ! h\rs hang heavy ^u my h&s4 ,o :at reason ( ?ankfulness h ,i on acc\nt ( ?is retirem5t6 ,i d n1 & x seems ,i _c1 lead a ,*ri/ian life :5 ,i am abroad1 & _c sp5d "t 9 devotion1 ,*ri/ian conv]sation1 & m$itation4 ,^? weeks t ,i am oblig$ to be f home1 9 ord] to le>n ! ,indian tongue1 are mo/ly sp5t 9 b>r5ness4 ,:5 ,i return home1 & give myself to m$itation1 pray]1 & fa/+1 a new sc5e op5s1 & my s\l longs = mortification1 self-d5ial1 humility1 & divorcem5t f all ! ?+s ( ! _w4 99,w$nesday1 ,janu>y #d4 ,"t appe>$ a mom5t1 life a vap\r1 & all its enjoym5ts z empty bubbles1 & fleet+ bla/s ( w9d4 99,friday1 ,janu>y #f4 ,feel+ my extreme weakness1 & want ( grace1 ,i set ap>t ?is day = fa/+ & pray]1 nei!r eat+ nor dr9k+ f ev5+ to ev5+4 ,& my s\l int5sely long$1 t ! dreadful spots & /a9s ( s9 may be wa%$ away4 ,my m9d 0 greatly fix$ on div9e ?+s3 my resolutions = a life ( mortification1 cont9ual wat*fulness1 self-d5ial1 s]i\sness1 & devotion to ,god1 7 /rong & fix$2 my desires ard5t & int5se3 my consci5ce t5d] & afraid ( e appe>ance ( evil4 ,my s\l 0 griev$ ) ! reflection on my pa/ levity1 & want ( resolution = ,god4 ,i solemnly r5ew$ my d$ication ( myself to ,god1 & long$ = grace to enable me always to keep cov5ant ) him4 ,saturday1 ,janu>y #ad4 ,?is morn+ ,i enjoy$ a solemn season 9 pray]3 my s\l seem$ enl>g$1 to p\r out itself to ,god = grace1 & = e bless+ ,i want$1 = myself1 my de> ,*ri/ian fri5ds1 & = ! *ur* ( ,god2 & ,i 0 s enabl$ to see him :o is invisible1 t my s\l re/$ ^u him = ! p]=mance ( e ?+ ,i ask$4 ,x 0 my happ9ess1 to 8cont9ue in/ant 9 pray]40 ,my s\l 0 8/rong 9 ! ,"l1 & 9 ! p[] ( 8 might40 ,i long$ exce$+ly = angelic hol9ess1 & to h all my ?\ghts1 at all times employ$ 9 heav5ly ?+s4 ,o h[ bless$ is an heav5ly temp]6 ,o h[ unspeakably bless$ x is to feel a measure ( t rectitude1 9 :i* we 7 at fir/ creat$6 ,! next day he speaks ( "s glimpses he _h ( ! div9e glories2 b seems to be fill$ ) fe>s le/ he %\ld return to a life ( vanity1 to please himself ) "s ( ! enjoym5ts ( ?is _w2 & speaks ( 8 be+ mu* tr\bl$ t he %\ld address immortal s\ls ) no m ard5cy & desire ( _! salvation4 ,saturday1 ,febru>y #d4 ,i enjoy$ fre$om & spiritual refre%m5t2 0 enabl$ to pray ) f]v5cy1 & long+ desires = ,zion's prosp]ity1 & my fai? & hope seem to take hold ( ,god1 = ! p]=mance ( :at ,i 0 enabl$ to plead =4 ,sanctification 9 myself1 & ! +a!r+ ( ,god's elect1 0 all my desire2 & ! hope ( its accompli%m5t1 all my joy4 ,monday1 ,febru>y #f4 ,?is morn+1 my s\l 0 /r5g!n$ 9 ,god1 & f\nd sweet repose 9 him2 long+ especially = ! complete mortification ( s5suality & pride1 & = resignation to ,god's disp5sations1 at all times1 z ?r\gh grace ,i felt x at ?is "t4 ,& ,i did n desire deliv]ance f any difficulty1 unless ,god 0 will+4 ,tuesday1 ,febru>y #g4 ,i 0 mu* engag$ 9 m$itation on ! p[]s & affections ( ! godly s\l 9 _! pursuit ( _! belov$ object3 wrote some?+ ( ! native language ( spiritual s5sation1 9 its s(t & t5d] :isp]s2 decl>+1 t x n[ 8feels & ta/es t ! ,"l is graci\s20 t he is ! supreme good1 ! only satisfy+ happ9ess2 t he is a complete1 suffici5t1 & ,almighty portion3 say+1 998,:om h ,i 9 heav5 b !e8 ,& !re is none ^u e>? t ,i desire besides !e4 ,o1 ,i feel x is heav5 to please him1 & to be j :at he w\ld h me to be6 ,o t my s\l 7 holy1 z he is holy6 ,o t x 7 pure1 ev5 z ,*ri/ is pure3 & p]fect1 z my ,fa!r 9 heav5 is p]fect6 ,^!1 ,i feel1 are ! sweete/ comm&s 9 ,god's book1 compris+ all o!rs4 ,& %all ,i break !m6 ,mu/ ,i break !m6 ,am ,i "u a necessity ( x z long z ,i live 9 ! _w6 ,o my s\l1 wo1 wo is me t ,i am a s9n]1 because ,i grieve & (f5d ?is bless$ ,god1 :o is inf9ite 9 goodness & grace6 ,oh me?9ks1 if he w\ld puni% me = my s9s1 x w\ld n w\nd my he>t s deep to (f5d him3 b ?\gh ,i s9 cont9ually1 yet he cont9ually repeats 8 k9dness to me6 ,i c\ld be> any suff]+2 b h[ c ,i be> to grieve & di%on\r ?is bless$ ,god6 ,h[ %all ,i yield t5 ?\s& times m hon\r to him8 ,:at %all ,i d to glorify ?is be/ ( be+s8 ,o t ,i c\ld consecrate myself1 s\l & body1 to 8 s]vice = ev]6 ,o t ,i give up myself to him1 s z nev] m to attempt to be my own1 or to h any w or affections t are n p]fectly con=m$ to him6 ,b1 alas1 alas6 ,i _c be ?us entirely devot$ to ,god4 ,o ye angels1 d ye glorify him incessantly2 & if possible1 pro/rate y\rselves l[] be=e ! bless$ ,k+ ( ,heav56 ,i long to be> a "p ) y2 &1 if x 7 possible1 to help y4 ,oh1 :5 we h done all t we c1 to all et]nity1 we %all n be able to (f] ! t5 ?\s&? "p ( ! homage t ! glori\s ,god des]ves60 ,no4 8confirm$0 replac$ ) 8con=m$0 p] ,errata ,y may z sure z ,god is true4 ,?ursday1 ,febru>y #i4 ,i obs]v$ ?is day z a day ( fa/+ & pray]1 intreat+ ( ,god to be/[ ^u me 8 bless+ & grace3 especially to enable me to live a life ( mortification to ! _w1 z well z ( resignation & pati5ce4 ,i enjoy$ a realiz+ s5se ( div9e p[] & goodness 9 pray]3 & 0 enabl$ to roll ! burd5 ( myself & fri5ds1 & ( ,zion1 ^u ! goodness ( ,god4 ,friday1 ,febru>y #aj4 ,i 0 exce$+ly oppress$ ) %ame1 grief1 & fe>1 "u a s5se ( my pa/ folly4 ,:5 ,god sets be=e me my pa/ misconduct1 especially any in/ances ( misguid$ zeal1 x s9ks my s\l into %ame & confusion4,i h no confid5ce to hold up my face1 ev5 be=e my fell[-worms2 b only :5 my s\l confides 9 ,god1 & ,i f9d ! sweet temp] ( ,*ri/1 ! _s ( humility1 solemnity1 & mortification1 & resignation1 alive 9 my s\l4 ,monday1 ,febru>y #ac4 ,i rode to ,/ockbridge1 & _h a m refre%+ ta/e ( heav5ly bless$ness1 ?an ,i h enjoy$ = _m mon?s pa/4 ,i h _m times1 ( late1 felt z ard5t desires ( hol9ess z ev]2 b n s mu* s5se ( ! unspeakable pleasure ( heav54 ,my s\l long$ to leave e>?1 & be> a "p ) angels 9 _! cele/ial employm5ts4 ,my s\l said1 8,"l1 x is good to be "h20 & x appe>$ to me bett] to die1 ?an to lose ! reli% ( ^! heav5ly delights4 ,w$nesday1 ,febru>y #bb4 ,i _h z cle> a s5se ( ! pollution ( my nature1 z ev] ,i _h 9 my life4 ,i appe>$ to myself inexpressibly lo?some2 s9s ( *ildhood1 ( e>ly y\?1 & su* follies z ,i _h n ?\ght ( = ye>s toge!r1 came fre% to my view1 z if committ$ b ye/]day4 ,yet ,i 0 support$ "u my burd5s2 & f\nd x 0 com=table to lean on ,god4 99,friday1 ,m>* #b4 ,i nev] felt s mu* love to my enemies1 7?\gh at t "t ,i f\nd su* a disposition1 t ,i sc>ce knew h[ to ?9k t any su* ?+ z enmity lodg$ 9 any s\l2 x seem$ z if all ! _w mu/ ne$s be fri5ds27 & nev] pray$ ) m fre$om & delight1 = myself1 or de>e/ fri5d1 ?an ,i did n[ = !m4 99,saturday1 ,m>* #c4 ,i sp5t an h\r 9 pray]1 ) great fre$om1 & ) ! mo/ s(t & t5d] affection t[>ds mank9d4 ,i long$ t ^? :o owe me ill-w1 might be et]nally happy3 x seem$ refre%+1 to ?9k ( meet+ !m 9 heav51 h[ mu* soev] !y _h injur$ me on e>?3 ,i _h no disposition to insi/ ^u any confession f !m1 9 ord] to reconciliation1 & ! ex]cise ( love & k9dness to !m4 ,o x is an emblem ( heav51 to love all ! _w ) a love ( k9dness & b5evol5ce2 to feel our s\ls s$ate1 mild & meek2 to be void ( all evil-surmis+s & suspicions1 sc>ce able to ?9k evil ( any man2 to f9d our he>ts1 simple1 op5 & free1 to ^? t look ^u u ) a diff]5t eye4 99,"l's-day1 ,m>* #d4 ,i enjoy$ ! same int5s5ess 9 pray] z ye/]day1 felt ! same _s ( love1 univ]sal b5evol5ce1 =giv5ess1 humility1 resignation1 mortification to ! _w1 & composure ( m9d4 8,my s\l re/$ 9 ,god20 & ,i f\nd1 ,i want$ no o!r refuge or fri5d4 ,:ile my s\l ?us tru/s 9 ,god1 all ?+s seem to be at peace ) me1 ev5 ! /ones ( ! e>?2 b :5 ,i _c confide 9 ,god1 all ?+s appe> ) a diff]5t aspect4 99,saturday1 ,m>* #aj4 ,i felt exce$+ dead to ! _w1 & all its enjoym5ts3 ,i 0 ready to give up life & all its com=ts1 z soon z call$ to x2 & yet !n _h z mu* com=t ( life z almo/ ev] ,i _h4 ,life itself appe>$ b an empty bubble2 ! ri*es1 hon\rs1 & enjoym5ts ( x extremely ta/eless4 ,i long$ to be p]petually & entirely crucifi$ to all ?+s "h bel[4 ,my s\l 0 sweetly resign$ to ,god's disposal ( me1 9 e reg>d2 & ,i saw1 !re _h no?+ happ5$ to me b :at 0 be/ = me4 ,i confid$ 9 ,god1 t he w\ld 8nev] leave me10 ?\gh ,i %\ld 8walk ?r\gh ! valley ( ! %ad[ ( dea?40 ,x 0 8my meat & dr9k to be holy1 to live to ! ,"l1 & to die to ! ,"l40 ,& ,i !n enjoy$ su* an heav51 z f> exce$$ ! mo/ sublime conceptions ( an unreg5]ate s\l2 & ev5 unspeakably beyond :at ,i myself c\ld conceive at ano!r "t4 ,i did n wond]1 t ,pet] said1 8,"l x is good to be "h10 :5 ?us refre%$ ) div9e glories4 ,my s\l 0 full ( love & t5d]ness 9 ! duty ( int]cession2 especially ( sweet affection to "s godly m9i/]s4 ,i pray$ e>ne/ly = ^? ,i h reason to fe> are my enemies2 & c\ld n h spok5 a ^w ( bitt]ness1 or ent]ta9$ a bitt] ?\ght1 aga9/ ! vile/ man liv+4 ,i _h a s5se ( my own great unwor?9ess4 ,my s\l seem$ to brea! =? love & praise to ,god afre%1 :5 ,i ?\ght he w\ld let 8 *ildr5 love & receive me z "o ( _! bre?r5 & fell[-citiz5s2 & :5 ,i ?\ght ( _! treat+ me 9 t mann]1 ,i long$ to lie at _! feet2 & c\ld ?9k ( no way to express ! s9c]ity & simplicity ( my love & e/eem ( !m1 z be+ mu* bett] ?an myself4,i long$ to get on my knees1 & ask =giv5ess ( e body t ev] _h se5 any ?+ amiss 9 my pa/ conduct1 especially 9 my religi\s zeal4 ,"l's-day1 ,m>* #aa4 ,i _h "s fre$om1 affection1 & f]v5cy 9 address+ my poor p2 long+ t ,god %\ld take hold ( _! he>ts4 ,& inde$ ,i _h s mu* to say to !m1 t ,i knew n h[ to leave (f speak+4 ,?is 0 ! la/ ,sabba? t ev] he p]=m$ public s]vice at ,kaunaumeek1 & ^! ! la/ s]mons t ev] he prea*$ !re4 ,monday1 ,m>* #ab4 ,my _s 0 full ( quietness1 & love to mank9d2 & ,i long$ t peace %\ld reign on ! e>?3 ,i 0 griev$ at ! v ?\ghts ( a fi]y1 angry1 & intemp]ate zeal 9 religion2 m\rn$ ov] my pa/ follies2 & confid$ 9 ,god = grace suffici5t = my future "w & trials4,sp5t ! day ma9ly 9 h>d lab\r1 mak+ prep>ation = my int5d$ j\rney4 ,w$nesday1 ,m>* #ad4 ,i enjoy$ "s int5s5ess ( s\l 9 pray]1 repeat+ my petitions = ,god's pres5ce 9 e place1 & bes\ght ! ,"l t ,i might n be too mu* pleas$ ) my de> fri5ds & acqua9tance4 ,ne> t5 ,i set out on my j\rney1 & be=e night came to ,/ockbridge4 ,?ursday1 ,m>* #ae4 ,i rode d[n to ,%effield4 ,"h ,i met a mess5g] f ,ea/-,hampton on ,long-,isl&2 :o by ! unanim\s vote ( t l>ge t[n1 0 s5t to invite me ?i!r1 9 ord] to settle ) t p2 ,i knew n :at to d2 b endeav\r$ to commit ! cause to ,god4 ,! two next days1 he w5t no f>!r ?an ,salisbury1 be+ h9d]$ by ! ra94 ,:5 he came !re1 he 0 mu* indispos$4,he speaks ( com=table & pr(itable conv]sation ) ,*ri/ian fri5ds1 on ^! days4 ,"l's day1 ,m>* #ah4 ,at ,salisbury ,i 0 exce$+ weak & fa9t1 s t ,i c\ld sc>ce walk3 b ,god 0 pleas$ to af=d me mu* fre$om1 cle>ness1 & f]v5cy 9 prea*+4,"h ano!r mess5g] met me1 & in=m$ me ( ! vote ( ano!r congregation1 to give me an invitation to come among !m4 ,i 0 some?+ ex]cis$ 9 m9d4 ,o t ,god w\ld 8s5d =? fai?ful lab\r]s into 8 h>ve/60 ,aft] ?is1 he w5t =w>d on 8 j\rney t[>ds ,new-,york & ,new-,j]sey3 9 :i* he proce$$ sl[ly2 p]=m+ 8 j\rney "u great bodily indisposition4 ,h[ev]1 he prea*$ sev]al times by ! way1 9 :i* he _h consid]able assi/ance3 he speaks ( com=t 9 conv]sation ) ,*ri/ian fri5ds2 b yet compla9s ( a decl9e ( vivacity1 by means ( 8 con/ant removal f place to place1 & want ( retirem5t4 ,he came to ,new-,york on ,w$nesday1 ,m>* #bh1 & to ,elisabe?-,t[n on ! ,saturday foll[+1 :]e x seems he wait$ till ! commission]s came toge!r4 ,?ursday1 ,april #e4 ,i att5d$ on ! commission]s 9 _! meet+1 & resolv$ to g on /ill ) ! ,indian affair1 if div9e provid5ce p]mitt$2 al?\gh ,i _h be=e felt "s incl9ation to g to ,ea/-,hampton4 ,! ,indians at ,kaunaumeek be+ b few 9 numb]1 & ,mr4 ,bra9]d hav+ n[ be5 lab\r+ among !m ab\t a ye>1 & hav+ prevail$ ^u !m to leave ,kaunaumeek1 & remove to ,/ockbridge1 to live con/antly "u ,mr4 ,s]geant's m9i/ry2 he ?\ght he might n[ d m s]vice = ,*ri/ among ! ,indians else:]e3 & !re=e w5t ?is j\rney to ,new-,j]sey to lay ! matt] be=e ! commission]s2 :o met at ,elisabe?-,t[n1 on ?is occasion1 & det]m9$ t he %\ld =?) leave ,kaunaumeek1 & g to ! ,delaw>e ,indians4 ,by ! invitations ,mr4 ,bra9]d lately receiv$1 x appe>s t x 0 n f necessity1 or = want ( opportunities to settle among ! ,engli%1 t he 0 det]m9$ to =sake all outw>d com=ts1 & to g & sp5d 8 life among ! bruti% savages4 ,he _h1 j z he 0 leav+ ,kaunaumeek1 an e>ne/ invitation to a settlem5t at ,ea/-,hampton on ,long-,isl&1 ! faire/1 pleasante/ t[n on ! :ole isl&1 & "o ( its l>ge/ & mo/ weal?y p>i%es4 ,! p !re 7 unanim\s 9 _! desires to h him = _! pa/or1 & = a long "t cont9u$ 9 an e>ne/ pursuit ( x4 ,besides he _h an invitation to ,mill+ton2 :i* 0 ne> 8 native t[n1 & 9 ! mid/ ( 8 fri5ds4 ,nor did ,mr4 ,bra9]d *use ! bus9ess ( a mission>y1 r ?an accept ( ^? invitations1 because he 0 unacqua9t$ ) ! difficulties & suff]+s :i* att5d$ su* a s]vice3 = he _h _h exp]i5ce ( ^! difficulties 9 summ] & w9t]3 hav+ sp5t ab\t a twelvemon? 9 a lonely des]t among ^! savages1 :]e he _h gone ?r\gh extreme h>d%ips1 a tra9 ( outw>d & inw>d sorr[s4 ,not)/&+ all ^! ?+s1 he *ose /ill to g on2 & t al?\gh ! place he 0 n[ go+ to1 0 at a mu* great] di/ance f mo/ ( 8 fri5ds1 acqua9tance1 & native l&4 800 replac$ ) 80 n0 p] ,errata ,aft] ?is1 he cont9u$ two or ?ree days 9 ! ,j]seys1 v ill2 & !n return$ to ,new-,york2 & f !nce into ,new-,engl&1 to 8 native t[n ( ,haddam2 :]e he arriv$ on ,saturday1 ,april #ad4 8he0 replac$ ) 8!0 99,tuesday1 ,april #ag4 ,i f\nd m ( ,god's pres5ce1 ?an ,i h done any "t 9 my late we>isome j\rney4 ,et]nity appe>$ v ne>2 my nature 0 v weak1 & seem$ ready to be dissolv$2 ! sun decl9+1 & ! %ad[s ( ! ev5+ draw+ on a pace4 ,o ,i long$ to fill up ! rema9+ mom5ts all = ,god6 ,?\gh my body 0 s feeble1 & we>i$ ) prea*+1 & private conv]sation1 yet ,i want$ to sit up all ! night to d some?+ = ,god4 ,to ,god1 ! giv] ( ^! refre%m5ts1 be glory = ev] & ev]4 ,aft] ?is1 he visit$ sev]al m9i/]s 9 ,connecticut2 & !n travell$ t[>ds ,kaunaumeek1 & came to ,mr4 ,s]geant's at ,/ockbridge1 ,?ursday1 ,april #bf4 ,friday & ,saturday1 ,april #bg1 & #bh4 ,i sp5t "s "t 9 disc\rs+ ) my p1 :o 7 n[ mov$ d[n f _! own place to ,mr4 ,s]geant's4 ,monday1 ,april #cj4 ,i rode to ,kaunaumeek1 b 0 extremely ill2 & did n enjoy ! com=t ,i hop$ = 9 my own h\se4 ,tuesday1 ,may #a4 ,hav+ receiv$ new ord]s to g to ! ,indians on ,delaw>e riv] 9 ,p5nsylvania1 & my p "h be+ mo/ly remov$ to ,mr4 ,s]geant's1 ,i ?is day took all my clo!s1 books1 c4 & dispos$ ( !m1 & set out = ,delaw>e riv]3 b made x my way to return to ,mr4 ,s]geant's2 :i* ,i did ?is day1 j at night4 ,i rode sev]al h\rs 9 ! ra9 ?r\gh ! h[l+ wild]ness1 al?\gh ,i 0 s disord]$ 9 body1 t little or no?+ b blood came f me4 8,s]jeant's0 replac$ ) 8,s]geant's0 ,tuesday1 ,may #h4 ,i sp5t mu* ( my "t1 :ile rid+1 9 pray]1 t ,god w\ld g ) me to ,delaw>e4 ,my he>t sometimes 0 ready to s9k ) ! ?\ghts ( my "w1 & go+ alone 9 ! wild]ness1 ,i knew n :]e3 b /ill x 0 com=table1 to ?9k1 t o!rs ( ,god's *ildr5 _h 8w&]$ ab\t 9 caves & d5s ( ! e>?30 & ,abraham1 :5 he 0 call$ to g =?1 8w5t out1 n kn[+ :i!r he w5t40 ,! next day1 he w5t =w>d on 8 j\rney2 cross$ ,hudson's riv]1 & w5t to ,go%5 9 ! ,highl&s2 & s travell$ across ! woods1 f ,hudson's riv] to ,delaw>e1 ab\t an hundr$ miles1 ?r\gh a desolate & hide\s c\ntry1 above ,new-,j]sey2 :]e 7 v few settlem5ts3 9 :i* j\rney he suff]$ mu* fatigue & h>d%ip4 ,he visit$ "s ,indians 9 ! way1 & disc\rs$ ) !m conc]n+ ,*ri/ianity1 b 0 melan*oly & disconsolate1 be+ alone 9 a /range wild]ness4 ,on ,saturday1 he came to a settlem5t ( ,iri% & ,dut* p1 ab\t twelve miles above ! ,=ks ( ,delaw>e4 ,see ,mr4 ,bra9]d's ,n>rative1 9 a lett] to ,mr4 ,pemb]ton4 ,on ,may #aj4 ,i met ) a numb] ( ,indians 9 a place call$ ,m9niss9ks1 ab\t an hundr$ & =ty miles f ,kaunaumeek1 & directly 9 my way to ,delaw>e riv]4 ,) ^! ,indians ,i sp5t "s "t1 & fir/ address$ _! k+ 9 a fri5dly mann]2 & aft] "s disc\rse1 ,i told him ,i _h a desire to in/ruct !m 9 ,*ri/ianity4 ,at :i* he laugh$1 turn$ 8 back ^u me1 & w5t away4 ,i !n address$ ano!r pr9cipal man 9 ! same mann]1 :o said he 0 will+ to he> me4 ,aft] "s "t1 ,i foll[$ ! k+ into 8 h\se1 & r5ew$ my disc\rse to him3 b he decl9$ talk+1 & left ! affair to ano!r1 :o appe>$ to be a rational man4 ,he talk$ v w>mly ne> a qu>t] ( an h\r1 & inquir$ :y ,i desir$ ! ,indians to become ,*ri/ians1 see+ ! ,*ri/ians 7 s mu* worse ?an ! ,indians8 ,! ,*ri/ians1 he said1 w\ld lie1 /eal1 & dr9k1 worse ?an ! ,indians4 ,x 0 !y fir/ taught ! ,indians to be drunk2 & !y /ole f "o ano!r1 to t degree1 t _! rul]s 7 oblig$ to hang !m = x1 & t 0 n suffici5t to det] o!rs f ! l practice4 ,b ! ,indians1 he add$1 7 none ( !m ev] hang$ = /eal+1 & yet !y did n /eal half s mu*2 & he suppos$ t if ! ,indians %\ld become ,*ri/ians1 !y !n w\ld be z bad z ^!4 ,he add$1 !y w\ld live z _! fa!rs liv$1 & g :]e _! fa!rs 7 :5 !y di$4 ,i !n freely own$1 lam5t$1 & jo9$ ) him 9 condemn+ ! ill conduct ( "s :o are call$ ,*ri/ians2 told him1 ^! 7 n ,*ri/ians 9 he>t2 t ,i hat$ su* wick$ practices1 & did n desire ! ,indians to become su* z ^!4,& :5 he appe>$ calm]1 ,i ask$ him if he 0 will+ t ,i %\ld come & see !m aga93 he repli$1 he %\ld be will+ to see me aga91 z a fri5d1 if ,i w\ld n desire !m to become ,*ri/ians4,i !n bid !m f>ewell1 & prosecut$ my j\rney t[>ds ,delaw>e4 ,& ,may #ac? ,i arriv$ at a place call$ by ! ,indians1 ,sakhauwotung1 )9 ! ,=ks ( ,delaw>e 9 ,p5nsylvania4 ,"h also :5 ,i came to ! ,indians1 ,i salut$ _! k+1 9 a mann] ,i ?\ght mo/ engag+3 & soon aft] in=m$ him ( my desire to in/ruct !m 9 ! ,*ri/ian religion4 ,aft] he _h consult$ a few m9utes ) two or ?ree old m51 he told me1 he 0 will+ to he>4 ,i !n prea*$ to ^? few t 7 pres5t2 :o appe>$ v att5tive4 ,& ! k+ 9 p>ticul> seem$ bo? to wond]1 & at ! same "t to be well pleas$ ) :at ,i taught !m1 respect+ ! div9e be+4 ,& s9ce t "t he has ev] %ewn himself fri5dly to me1 giv+ me free lib]ty to prea* 9 8 h\se :5ev] ,i ?9k fit4,"h !re=e ,i sp5t ! great] "p ( ! summ]1 prea*+ usually 9 ! k+'s h\se4 ,! numb] ( ,indians 9 ?is place is b small2 mo/ ( ^? t =m]ly belong$ "h1 are remov$ f>!r back 9 ! c\ntry4 ,!re are n m ?an t5 h\ses h]eab\ts1 t cont9ue to be inhabit$2 & "s ( ^! are sev]al miles di/ant f o!rs1 :i* makes x difficult = ! ,indians to meet toge!r s frequ5tly z c\ld be desir$4 ,:5 ,i fir/ began to prea* "h1 ! numb] ( he>]s 0 v small2 (t5 n exce$+ tw5ty or tw5ty-five p]sons3 b t[>ds ! latt] "p ( ! summ]1 _! numb] increas$1 s t ,i h frequ5tly _h =ty p]sons1 or m1 at once3 & (t5 ! mo/ ( ^? belong+ to ^! p>ts4 ,"l's-day1 ,may #ac4 ,i rose e>ly2 felt v poorly aft] my long j\rney1 & aft] be+ wet & fatigu$4 ,i _h sc>ce ev] se5 su* a gloomy morn+ 9 my life3 !re appe>$ to be no ,sabba?3 ! *ildr5 7 all at play2 ,i a /rang] 9 ! wild]ness1 & knew n :]e to g2 & all circum/ances seem$ to conspire to r5d] my affairs d>k & disc\rag+4 ,i m\rn$ aft] ! pres5ce ( ,god1 & seem$ l a creature bani%$ f 8 sight6 ,yet he 0 pleas$ to support my s9k+ s\l1 amid/ all my sorr[s2 s t ,i nev] ent]ta9$ any ?\ght ( quitt+ my bus9ess among ! poor ,indians2 b 0 com=t$1 to ?9k1 t dea? w\ld ere long set me free f ^! di/resses4,i rode ab\t ?ree or f\r miles to ! ,iri% p1 :]e ,i f\nd "s t appe>$ sob] & conc]n$ ab\t religion4 ,my he>t !n began to be a little enc\rag$3 ,i w5t & prea*$ fir/ to ! ,iri%1 & !n to ! ,indians3 & 9 ! ev5+ ,i 0 a little com=t$2 my s\l seem$ to re/ on ,god & take c\rage4 ,o t ! ,"l w\ld be my support & com=t] 9 an evil _w6 ,monday1 ,may #ad4 ,i felt myself loose f all ! _w2 all appe>$ 8vanity & vexation ( _s40 ,i seem$ lonesome1 z if ,i 0 bani%$ f all mank9d1 & b]eav$ ( all t is call$ pleasant 9 ! _w2 b appe>$ to myself s vile & unwor?y1 x seem$ fitt] = me to be "h ?an any:]e4 ,?ursday1 ,may #ag4 ,i 0 greatly di/ress$ ) a s5se ( my vil5ess2 appe>+ to myself too bad to walk on ,god's e>?4 ,god 0 pleas$ to let me see my inw>d pollution to su* a degree1 t ,i almo/ despair$ ( be+ made holy4 ,9 ! aft]noon ,i met ) ! ,indians1 accord+ to appo9tm5t1 & prea*$ to !m4 ,& :ile rid+ to !m1 ,i seem$ to confide 9 ,god2 & aft]w>ds _h "s enl>gem5t 9 pray]2 vital piety & hol9ess appe>$ sweet to me1 & ,i long$ = ! p]fection ( x4 ,"l's-day1 ,may #bj4 ,i prea*$ twice to ! poor ,indians1 & enjoy$ "s fre$om 9 speak+4 ,my s\l long$ = assi/ance f above1 all ! :ile2 = ,i saw ,i _h no /r5g? = t "w4 ,aft]w>ds ,i prea*$ to ! ,iri% p2 & sev]al seem$ mu* conc]n$1 ) :om ,i disc\rs$ aft]w>ds ) fre$om & p[]4 ,bless$ be ,god = any assi/ance to an unwor?y worm4 ,"l's-day1 ,may #bg4 ,i visit$ my ,indians 9 ! morn+1 & att5d+ ^u a fun]al among !m1 0 affect$ to see _! ,hea!ni% practices4 ,o t !y might be 8turn$ f d>kness to light60 ,aft]w>ds ,i got a consid]able numb] ( !m toge!r1 & prea*$ to !m2 & obs]v$ !m v att5tive4 ,i !n prea*$ to ! :ite p1 & sev]al seem$ mu* conc]n$2 especially "o :o _h be5 educat$ a ,roman ca?olic4 ,bless$ be ! ,"l = any help4 ,monday1 ,june #aa4 ,?is day ! presbyt]y met at ,new>k1 9 ord] to my ord9ation4 ,i 0 v weak & disord]$ 9 body2 yet endeav\r$ to repose my confid5ce 9 ,god4 ,at ?ree 9 ! aft]noon ,i prea*$ my probation-s]mon1 f ,acts xxvi4 #ag1 #ah1 be+ a text giv5 me = t end4 ,aft]w>ds ,i pass$ an exam9ation be=e ! presbyt]y4 ,my m9d 0 burd5$ ) ! greatness ( t *>ge ,i 0 ab\t to take ^u me3 s t ,i c\ld n sleep ?is night1 ?\gh v we>y & 9 great ne$ ( re/4 ,tuesday1 ,june #ab4 ,i 0 ?is morn+ fur!r exam9$1 respect+ my exp]im5tal acqua9tance ) ,*ri/ianity4 ,at t5 o'clock my ord9ation 0 att5d$4 ,i 0 affect$ ) a s5se ( ! important tru/ committ$ to me2 yet 0 compos$1 & solemn1 )\t di/raction3 & ,i !n 7z _m times be=e7 gave myself up to ,god1 to be = him1 & n = ano!r4 ,o t ,i might always be engag$ 9 ! s]vice ( ,god1 & duly rememb] ! solemn *>ge ,i h receiv$1 9 ! pres5ce ( ,god1 angels1 & m54 8he0 replac$ ) 8be0 ,,"p ,,vi4 ,f 8 ord9ation1 till he began to prea* to ! ,indians at ,crosweeksung4 ,,?ursday1 ,june #ad4 ,i wond]$1 t ,god %\ld op5 ! he>ts ( any to treat me ) k9dness3 & saw myself to be unwor?y ( any fav\r1 f ,god or m54 ,i _h mu* pa9 9 my head2 h[ev] ,i det]m9$ to set out on my j\rney t[>ds ,delaw>e2 b 9 ! aft]noon my pa9 increas$1 s t ,i 0 oblig$ to take to my b$2 & ! night foll[+1 ,i 0 greatly di/ress$ ) pa9 & sickness1 & almo/ b]eav$ ( reason4 ,on ,saturday ,i 0 some?+ reliev$2 b unable to walk1 till ! ,monday foll[+4 ,i (t5 admir$ ! goodness ( ,god1 t he did n suff] me to proce$ on my j\rney f ?is place :]e ,i 0 s t5d]ly us$4,god is v graci\s to me1 bo? 9 heal? & sickness1 & int]m+les mu* m]cy ) all my afflictions4 ,on ,tuesday1 ,june #ai4 ,he set out1 & 9 ?ree days rea*$ 8 place1 ne> ! ,=ks ( ,delaw>e4 99,"l's-day1 ,june #bd4 ,i 0 sc>ce able to walk3 h[ev]1 visit$ my ,indians1 & took mu* pa9s to in/ruct !m4 ,b my m9d 0 mu* burd5$ ) ! weight ( my "w4 ,my :ole dep5d5ce 0 on ,god2 :o alone ,i saw c\ld make !m will+ to receive in/ruction4 ,my he>t 0 mu* engag$ 9 pray]1 s5d+ up sil5t reque/s to ,god1 ev5 :ile ,i 0 speak+ to !m4 ,o t ,i c\ld always g 9 ! /r5g? ( ! ,"l6 ,monday1 ,june #be4 ,to an eye ( reason e ?+ t respects ! conv]sion ( ! ,hea!n is z d>k z midnight2 & yet ,i _c b hope 9 ,god1 = ! accompli%m5t ( some?+ glori\s among !m4 ,i long$ mu* = ! advancem5t ( ! ,r$eem]'s k+dom on e>?1 & 0 v fe>ful le/ ,i %\ld admit "s va9 ?\ght1 & s lose ! s5se ,i _h ( div9e ?+s4 ,o = an abid+ heav5ly temp]6 99,tuesday1 ,june #bf4 ,i 0 mu* disc\rag$ ) ! extreme difficulty ( ! "w2 yet ,god support$ me2 & ?\gh ! "w ( _! conv]sion appe>$ 8impossible ) man1 yet ) ,god0 ,i saw 8all ?+s 7 possible40 ,i 0 mu* assi/$ 9 pray]1 especially = ! poor ,hea!n1 & ^? ( my own *>ge3 & hop$ t ,god w\ld b[ ! heav5s & come d[n = _! salvation4 ,x seem$ to me1 !re c\ld be no imp$im5t suffici5t to ob/ruct t glori\s "w1 see+ ! liv+ ,god 0 engag$ = x4 ,i cont9u$ solemnly lift+ up my he>t to ,god1 t ,i might be m mortifi$ to ?is _w1 t my s\l might be tak5 up cont9ually 9 ! advancem5t ( ,*ri/'s k+dom3 & long$ t ,god w\ld purge me m1 t ,i might be z a *os5 vessel to be> 8 "n among ! ,hea!ns4 ,w$nesday1 ,june #bg4 ,9 ! aft]noon1 ,i rode sev]al miles to see if ,i c\ld procure any l&s = ! poor ,indians1 t !y might live toge!r1 & be "u bett] advantages = in/ruction4 ,:ile ,i 0 rid+1 ,i _h a deep s5se ( ! difficulty ( my "w2 & my s\l reli$ :olly ^u ,god = success1 9 ! dilig5t & fai?ful use ( means4 ,i saw ) ! greate/ c]ta9ty1 t ! arm ( ! ,"l mu/ be reveal$1 = ! help ( ^! poor ,hea!n1 if ev] !y 7 deliv]$ f ! bondage ( ! p[]s ( d>kness4 ,?ursday1 ,june #bh4 ,t[>ds noon ,i rode up to ! ,indians2 & :ile go+1 my he>t w5t up to ,god 9 pray] = !m2 ,i c\ld freely tell ,god1 he knew ! cause 0 n m9e1 b 8 own1 & x w\ld be = 8 own glory to conv]t ! poor ,indians3 & bless$ be ,god4 ,i felt no desire ( hon\r f ! _w1 z ! in/rum5t ( x4 ,saturday1 ,june #cj4 ,my s\l 0 mu* solemniz$ 9 read+ ,god's ^w2 especially ! n9? *apt] ( ,daniel4 99,i saw h[ ,god _h call$ out 8 s]vants to pray]1 & made !m wre/le ) him1 :5 he design$ to be/[ any great m]cy on 8 *ur*4 ,& ,i 0 a%am$ ( myself1 to ?9k ( my dulness & inactivity1 :5 !re seem$ to be s mu* to d = ! upbuild+ ( ,zion4 ,oh1 h[ does ,zion lie wa/e6 ,i long$1 t ! *ur* ( ,god might be enl>g$3 & 0 enabl$ to pray 9 fai?2 my s\l seem$ s5sibly to confide 9 ,god1 & 0 enabl$ to wre/le ) him4 ,aft]w>ds1 ,i walk$ abroad to a place ( sweet retirem5t1 & enjoy$ assi/ance 9 pray] aga93 _h a s5se ( my great ne$ ( div9e help1 & felt my s\l s5sibly dep5d on ,god4 99,"l's day1 ,july #a4 ,aft] ,i came to ! ,indians1 my m9d 0 confus$2 & ,i felt no?+ ( t sweet reliance on ,god1 t my s\l has be5 com=t$ ) 9 days pa/4 ,9 ! aft]noon ,i felt /ill b>r51 :5 ,i began to prea*2 ,i seem$ to myself to "k no?+1 & to h no?+ to say to ! ,indians2 b soon aft]1 ,i f\nd 9 myself a _s ( love1 & w>m?1 & p[]2 & ,god help$ me to plead ) !m1 to 8turn f all ! vanities ( ! ,hea!n1 to ! liv+ ,god30 ,i am p]suad$1 ! ,"l t\*$ _! consci5ces2 = ,i nev] saw su* att5tion 9 !m be=e4 ,:5 ,i came away1 ,i sp5t ! :ole "t ,i 0 rid+1 9 pray] & praise to ,god4 ,& aft] ,i _h rode two miles1 x came into my m9d to d$icate myself to ,god aga93 :i* ,i did ) great solemnity1 & unspeakable satisfaction2 especially giv+ up myself to him anew 9 ! "w ( ! m9i/ry4 ,& ?is ,i did )\t any exception or res]ve2 n 9 ! lea/ %r9k+ back f any difficulties1 t might att5d ?is bless$ "w4 ,i 0 mo/ free1 *e>ful1 & full 9 ?is d$ication ( myself4 ,my :ole s\l cri$1 8,"l1 to !e ,i d$icate myself3 ,o accept ( me1 & let me be ?9e = ev]4 ,"l1 ,i desire no?+ else2 ,i desire no?+ m4 ,o come1 come ,"l1 accept a poor worm4 #8,:om h ,i 9 heav5 b !e8 ,& !re is none ^u e>?1 t ,i desire besides !e4'0 ,aft] ?is1 ,i 0 enabl$ to praise ,god ) my :ole s\l1 t he _h enabl$ me to devote & consecrate all my p[]s to him 9 ?is solemn mann]4 ,my he>t rejoic$ 9 my p>ticul> "w z a mission>y2 rejoic$ 9 my necessity ( self-d5ial2 & /ill cont9u$ to give up myself to ,god1 & implore m]cy ( him2 pray+ incessantly1 e mom5t1 ) sweet f]v5cy4 ,my nature be+ v weak ( late1 0 n[ consid]ably ov]come3 my f+]s grew v feeble1 & numb1 s t ,i c\ld sc>cely /ret* !m out /rait2 & :5 ,i light$ f my horse ,i c\ld h>dly walk1 my jo9ts seem+ all to be loos$4 ,b ,i felt abundant /r5g? 9 ! inn] man4 ,i prea*$ to ! :ite p1 & ,god help$ me mu*4 ,sundry ( my poor ,indians 7 s mov$ z to come to meet+ also2 & "o appe>$ mu* conc]n$4 ,tuesday1 ,july #c4 ,?is morn+1 ,i 0 enabl$ to pray "u a feel+ s5se ( my ne$ ( help1 to plead ) ,god a consid]able "t4 ,truly ,god is good to me4 ,b my s\l 0 griev$ at my s9fulness & b>r5ness1 & long$ to be m engag$ = ,god4 ,o x is sweet to be ! ,"l's1 to be s5sibly devot$ to him6 ,:at a bless$ portion is ,god6 ,h[ glori\s1 h[ lovely6 ,o my s\l long$ to employ my "t :olly = ,god6,9 ! ev5+1 ,i 0 enabl$ aga9 to wre/le ) ,god 9 pray] ) f]v5cy to ma9ta9 a self-diffid5t & wat*ful frame ( _s1 jeal\s & afraid le/ ,i %\ld admit c>elessness or self-confid5ce4 8b>r5ess0 replac$ ) 8b>r5ness0 ,friday1 ,july #f4 ,i am ( late1 mo/ ( all conc]n$ = m9i/]ial qualifications1 & ! conv]sion ( ! ,hea!n2 la/ ye>1 ,i long$ to be prep>$ = a _w ( glory1 & spe$ily to dep>t out ( ?is _w2 b ( late1 my *ief conc]n is = ! conv]sion ( ! ,hea!n1 & = t end1 ,i long to live4 ,b bless$ be ,god1 ,i h less desire to live = any ( ! pleasures ( ! _w1 ?an ev] ,i _h3 ,i long & love to be a pilgrim2 & want grace to imitate ! life1 lab\rs & suff]+s ( ,/4 ,paul among ! ,hea!n4 ,& :5 ,i long = hol9ess n[1 x is *iefly1 t :]eby ,i may become an 8able m9i/] ( ! ,new ,te/am5t10 especially to ! ,hea!n4 ,i sp5t two h\rs ?is morn+ 9 read+ & pray]2 & 0 9 a wat*ful t5d] frame1 afraid ( e ?+ t might cool my affections1 & draw away my he>t f ,god4 99,"l's day1 ,july #h4 ,i 0 wat*ful1 t5d]1 & jeal\s ( my own he>t1 le/ ,i %\ld admit c>elessness & va9 ?\ghts1 & grieve ! bless$ ,_s1 s t he %\ld )draw 8 sweet1 k9d1 & t5d] influ5ces4 ,i long$ to 8dep>t1 & be ) ,*ri/10 m ?an at any "t ( late4 ,my s\l 0 exce$+ly unit$ to ! sa9ts ( anti5t times1 z well z ^? n[ liv+2 especially my s\l melt$ = ! society ( ,elijah & ,eli%a4 ,w$nesday1 ,july #aa4 ,my s\l 0 diffid5t1 wat*ful1 & t5d]1 le/ ,i %\ld (f5d my bless$ ,fri5d1 9 ?\ght or behavi\r4 ,i confid$ 91 & lean$ ^u ! bless$ ,god4 ,oh1 :at ne$ did ,i see myself to /& 9 ( ,god at all times1 to assi/ me & lead me6 ,saturday1 ,july #ba4 ,t[>ds night my burd5 respect+ my "w among ! ,indians began to increase mu*2 & 0 aggravat$ by he>+ sundry ?+s t look$ v disc\rag+1 9 p>ticul> t !y int5d$ to meet toge!r ! next day = an idolatr\s fea/ & dance4 ,!n ,i began to be 9 angui%3 ,i ?\ght ,i mu/ 9 consci5ce g & endeav\r to break !m up2 & knew n h[ to attempt su* a ?+4 ,h[ev] ,i )drew to pray]1 hop+ = /r5g? f above4 ,& 9 pray] ,i 0 exce$+ly enl>g$1 & my s\l 0 mu* drawn out4 ,i plead$ ) s mu* e>ne/ness & importunity1 t :5 ,i arose f my knees ,i c\ld sc>cely walk /raight1 my jo9ts 7 loos$1 ! sweat ran d[n my face & body1 & nature seem$ z if x w\ld dissolve4 ,i knew !y 7 met toge!r to wor%ip devils1 & n ,god1 & ?is made me cry e>ne/ly t ,god w\ld appe>1 & help me 9 my attempts to break up ?is idolatr\s meet+4 ,my s\l plead$ long2 & ,i ?\ght ,god w\ld g ) me to v9dicate 8 own cause3 & ?us ,i sp5t ! ev5+1 pray+ incessantly t ,i might n be self-dep5d5t1 b h my :ole dep5d5ce ^u ,god4 ,:at ,i pass$ ?r\gh 0 inexpressible4 99,all ?+s "h bel[ vani%$2 & !re appe>$ to be no?+ ( any importance to me1 b hol9ess ( he>t & life1 & ! conv]sion ( ! ,hea!n to ,god4 ,all my c>es1 fe>s1 & desires1 :i* might be said to be ( a worldly nature1 disappe>$2 & 7 ( little m importance ?an a puff ( w9d4 ,i exce$+ly long$1 t ,god w\ld get to himself a "n among ! ,hea!n2 & ,i appeal$ to him ) ! greate/ fre$om1 t he knew ,i 8pref]r$ him above my *ief joy40 ,inde$1 ,i _h no notion ( joy f ?is _w2 ,i c>$ n :]e or h[ ,i liv$1 or :at h>d%ips ,i w5t ?r\gh1 s t ,i c\ld b ga9 s\ls to ,*ri/4 ,"l's day1 ,july #bb4 ,:5 ,i wak$1 my s\l 0 burd5$ ) :at seem$ to be be=e me3 ,i cri$ to ,god1 be=e ,i c\ld get out ( my b$3 z soon z ,i 0 dress$1 ,i )drew into ! woods1 to p\r out my s\l to him = assi/ance2 & did ) unspeakable fre$om give up myself afre% to ,god1 = life or dea?1 = all h>d%ips he %\ld call me to among ! ,hea!n2 & felt z if no?+ c\ld disc\rage me f ?is bless$ "w4 ,i _h a /rong hope1 t ,god w\ld 8b[ ! heav5s & come d[n10 & d "s m>vell\s "w among ! ,hea!n4 ,& :5 ,i 0 rid+ to ! ,indians1 my he>t 0 cont9ually go+ up to ,god2 & hop+1 t ,god w\ld make ?is ! day ( 8 p[] & grace among/ ! poor ,indians4 ,:5 ,i came to !m1 ,i f\nd !m engag$ 9 _! frolic2 b ?r\gh div9e goodness ,i got !m to break up & att5d my prea*+3 yet /ill !re appe>$ no?+ ( ! special p[] ( ,god among !m4 ,i prea*$ aga9 to !m 9 ! aft]noon2 & obs]v$ !y 7 m sob] ?an be=e2 b /ill saw no?+ special among !m2 f :5ce ,satan took occasion to buffet me ) ^! curs$ sugge/ions1 ,!re is no ,god1 or if !re be1 he is n able to conv]t ! ,indians1 be=e !y h m k4 ,i 0 v weak & we>y1 & my s\l borne d[n ) p]plexity2 b 0 det]m9$ /ill to wait ^u ,god4 ,tuesday1 ,july #bd4 ,i rode ov] a hide\s m\nta91 to a numb] ( ,indians1 at a place call$ ,kauksesau*ung1 m ?an ?irty miles we/w>d f ! place :]e ,i usually prea*4 ,i f\nd ab\t ?irty p]sons1 & propos$ my desire ( prea*+ to !m3 !y readily compli$1 & ,i prea*$ to !m only twice1 !y be+ j !n remov+ f ?is place1 to ,susquahannah riv]4 ,:ile ,i 0 prea*+1 !y appe>$ sob]1 & att5tive3 & 7 some:at surpriz$1 hav+ nev] be=e he>d ( ^! ?+s4 ,!re 7 two or ?ree1 :o suspect$ t ,i _h "s ill design ^u !m2 & urg$1 t ! :ite p _h abus$ !m1 & tak5 _! l&s f !m1 & !re=e !y _h no reason to ?9k t !y 7 conc]n$ = _! happ9ess2 b1 on ! contr>y1 t !y design$ to make !m slaves1 or get !m on bo>d _! vessels1 & make !m fight ) ! p ov] ! wat]1 7z !y express$ x17 mean+ ! ,fr5* & ,spani>ds4 ,h[ev] ! mo/ ( !m appe>$ v fri5dly1 & told me !y 7 !n go+ home to ,susquahannah1 & desir$ ,i w\ld make !m a visit !re1 & manife/$ a consid]able desire ( in/ruction4 ,?is invitation gave me "s enc\ragem5t 9 my great "w2 & made me hope1 t ,god design$ to 8op5 an effectual door to me0 = spread+ ! gospel among ! poor ,hea!ns f>!r we/w>d4 8effectul0 replac$ ) 8effectual0 ,f ^! ,indians he return$ to ! ,iri% settlem5t1 & !re prea*$ to a num]\s congregation3 :]e 0 a consid]able appe>ance ( awak5+4 ,?ursday1 he return$ home1 exce$+ly fatigu$ & sp5t2 /ill 9 ! same mortification to ! _w1 & solicit\s = ! advancem5t ( ,*ri/'s k+dom3 & on ?is day he says1 8,i h felt1 ?is week m ( ! _s ( a pilgrim on e>?1 ?an ev] be=e2 & yet s desir\s to see ,zion's prosp]ity1 t ,i 0 n s will+ to leave ?is sc5e ( sorr[ z ,i us$ to be40,on ! sabba?1 he 0 conf9$ by illness1 n able to g out to prea*4 ,he cont9u$ v ill all ! next week1 & says1 t 8he ?\ght he nev] be=e endur$ su* a season ( di/ress+ weakness2 & t 8 nature 0 s sp5t1 t he c\ld nei!r /&1 sit1 nor lie ) any quiet2 t he 0 ex]cis$ ) extreme fa9tness & sickness at 8 /oma*2 & t 8 m9d 0 z mu* disord]$ z 8 body1 seem+ to be /upid1 & )\t all k9d ( affection2 & yet p]plex$1 to ?9k1 t he liv$ = no?+1 t preci\s "t roll$ away1 & he c\ld d no?+ b trifle40,conc]n+ ! next five days1 he writes ?us1 8,on ,"l's-day1 ,augu/ #e1 0 /ill v poor4 ,b ?\gh v weak1 ,i visit$ & prea*$ to ! poor ,indians twice1 & 0 /r5g!n$ va/ly beyond my expectations4 ,& inde$ ! ,"l gave me fre$om & f]v5cy 9 address+ !m3 ?\gh ,i _h n /r5g? en\gh to /&1 b 0 oblig$ to sit d[n ! :ole "t4 ,t[>ds night ,i 0 extremely weak1 fa9t1 sick1 & full ( pa94 ,& ,i h cont9u$ mu* ! same la/ week1 ?ro' ! mo/ ( ?is1 7x be+ n[ ,friday7 unable to engage 9 any bus9ess2 frequ5tly unable to pray 9 ! family4 ,i h nei!r /r5g? to read1 m$itate1 nor pray3 & ?is p]plexes my m9d4 ,i seem l a man t has all 8 e/ate emb>k$ 9 "o small boat1 unhappily go+ adrift1 d[n a swift curr5t4 ,! poor own] /&s on ! %ore1 & looks1 & lam5ts 8 loss4 ,b1 alas6 ?\gh my all seems to be adrift1 & ,i /& & see x1 ,i d>e n lam5t3 = ?is s9ks my spirits m1 & aggravates my bodily disord]s4 ,o t ,god w\ld pity my di/ress$ /ate60 ,! next day ?ree weeks1 8 illness 0 n s extreme2 he 0 9 "s degree capable ( bus9ess3 he also _h1 = ! mo/ "p1 mu* inw>d assi/ance2 he (t5 expresses great long+s = ! enl>gem5t ( ,*ri/'s k+dom3 he speaks ( 8 hope ( ?is z all 8 delight & joy4 ,he cont9ues /ill to express 8 usual long+s aft] hol9ess1 & liv+ to ,god1 & 8 s5se ( 8 own unwor?9ess2 he sev]al times speaks ( 8 appe>+ to himself ! vile/ creature on e>?2 & once says1 t he v]ily ?\ght !re 0 none ( ,god's *ildr5 :o fell s f> %ort ( t hol9ess1 & p]fection 9 _! ob$i5ce1 :i* ,god requires4 ,saturday1 ,septemb] #a4 ,i enjoy$ "s com=t & sweetness3 & z my bodily /r5g? 0 a little re/or$1 s my s\l seem$ to be m engag$ 9 ! ?+s ( ,god4 ,"l's-day1 ,septemb] #b4 ,i 0 enabl$ to speak to my poor ,indians ) mu* conc]n & f]v5cy2 & ,god enabl$ me to ex]cise fai? 9 him1 :ile ,i 0 speak+ to !m4 ,i p]ceiv$ t "s ( !m 7 afraid to embrace ,*ri/ianity1 le/ !y %\ld be en*ant$ & poison$ by ! p[w[s3 b ,i bid a *all5ge to all ^! p[]s ( d>kness1 to d _! wor/ ^u me fir/4 ,i told my p1 ,i 0 a ,*ri/ian1 & ask$ !m :y ! p[w[s did n bewit* & poison me8 ,i sc>cely ev] felt m s5sible ( my own unwor?9ess1 ?an 9 ?is3 b ,i saw ! hon\r ( ,god 0 conc]n$2 & ,i tru/$ to be pres]v$ = a te/imony ( ! div9e p[] & goodness1 & ( ! tru? ( ,*ri/ianity4 8p[[s0 replac$ ) 8p[w[s0 ,w$nesday1 ,septemb] #bf4 ,aft] a j\rney to ,new-,engl&1 ,i rode home to ! ,=ks ( ,delaw>e4 ,:at reason h ,i to bless ,god1 :o has pres]v$ me 9 rid+ m ?an f\r hundr$ & tw5ty miles4 ,my heal? likewise is greatly recov]$4 ,o t ,i c\ld d$icate my all to ,god6 ,monday1 ,octob] #a4 ,i 0 engag$ ?is day 9 mak+ prep>ation = my j\rney to ,susquahannah2 & )drew sev]al times to plead = ! div9e pres5ce to g ) me to ! poor ,pagans4 ,t[>ds night ,i rode ab\t f\r miles1 & met my bro!r ,byram3 :o 0 come1 at my desire1 to be my companion to ! ,indians4 ,i rejoic$ to see him2 & ,god made 8 conv]sation pr(itable to me4 ,i saw him1 z ,i ?\ght m dead to ! _w1 its c>es1 & allur+ objects1 ?an ,i 03 & ?is made me look )9 myself1 & gave me a great] s5se ( my +ratitude1 & mis]y4 ,m9i/] at a place call$ ,rockciticus1 ab\t =ty miles f ,mr4 ,bra9]d's lodg+s4 ,tuesday1 ,octob] #b4 ,i set out on my j\rney1 9 company ) my de> bro!r ,byram1 & my int]pret]1 & two *ief ,indians f ! ,=ks ( ,delaw>e4 ,we travell$ ab\t tw5ty-five miles1 & lodg$ 9 "o ( ! la/ h\ses on our road2 aft] :i* !re 0 no?+ b a hide\s & h[l+ wild]ness4 ,w$nesday1 ,octob] #c4 ,we w5t on our way into ! wild]ness1 & f\nd f> ! mo/ difficult & dang]\s travell+1 t ev] any ( u _h se52 we _h sc>ce any ?+ else b l(ty m\nta9s1 deep valleys1 & hide\s rocks1 to make our way ?r\gh4 ,h[ev]1 ,i felt sweetness 9 div9e ?+s1 & _h my m9d int5sely engag$ 9 m$itation4 ,ne> night1 my bea/ t ,i rode ^u1 hung "o ( h] legs 9 ! rocks1 & fell d[n "u me2 b ?r\gh div9e goodness1 ,i 0 n hurt4 ,h[ev]1 %e broke h] leg2 & be+ ne> ?irty miles f any h\se1 ,i saw no?+ t c\ld be done to pres]ve h] life1 & s 0 oblig$ to kill h]1 & to prosecute my j\rney on foot4 ,j at d>k1 we k9dl$ a fire1 cut up a few bu%es1 & made a %elt] ov] our heads1 to save u f ! fro/1 :i* 0 v h>d2 & committ+ ourselves to ,god1 we lay d[n on ! gr\nd1 & slept quietly4 ,! next day1 !y w5t =w>d on _! j\rney1 & at night took up _! lodg+ 9 ! woods 9 l mann]4 ,friday1 ,octob] #e4 ,we arriv$ at ,susquahannah-riv]1 at a place call$ ,opeholhaupung2 & f\nd !re twelve ,indian h\ses4 ,aft] ,i _h salut$ ! k+ 9 a fri5dly mann]1 ,i told him my bus9ess1 & t my desire 0 to tea* !m ,*ri/ianity4 ,aft] "s consultation1 ! ,indians ga!r$1 & ,i prea*$ to !m4 ,& :5 ,i _h done1 ,i ask$1 if !y w\ld he> me aga94 ,!y repli$1 !y w\ld consid] ( x2 & soon aft] s5t me ^w1 t !y w\ld imm$iately att5d1 if ,i w\ld prea*2 :i* ,i did ) mu* fre$om4 ,:5 ,i ask$ !m aga91 :e!r !y w\ld he> me fur!r1 !y repli$1 !y w\ld ! next day4 ,i 0 exce$+ s5sible ( ! impossibility ( do+ any ?+ = ! poor ,hea!n )\t special assi/ance3 & my s\l re/$ on ,god1 & left x to him1 to d z he pleas$ 9 8 own cause4 ,saturday1 ,octob] #f4 ,i prea*$ aga9 to ! ,indians3 & 9 ! aft]noon1 visit$ !m f h\se to h\se1 & invit$ !m to come & he> me aga9 ! next day1 & put (f _! hunt+ design1 till ,monday4 8,?is night1 ! ,"l /ood by me10 to enc\rage & /r5g!n my s\l3 ,i sp5t m ?an an h\r 9 secret retirem5t2 & 0 enabl$ to 8p\r out my he>t be=e ,god10 = ! increase ( grace 9 my s\l1 = m9i/]ial end[m5ts1 & = success among ! poor ,indians4 ,monday1 ,octob] #h4 ,i visit$ ! ,indians ) a design to take my leave1 suppos+ !y w\ld g out a hunt+ e>ly2 b beyond my expectation & hope1 !y desir$ to he> me prea* aga94 ,i gladly compli$ ) _! reque/1 & endeav\r$ to answ] _! objections aga9/ ,*ri/ianity4 ,!n !y w5t away2 & we sp5t ! aft]noon 9 read+ & pray]1 int5d+ to g homew>d e>ly ! next day4 ,tuesday1 ,octob] #i4 ,we rose ab\t f\r1 & comm5d+ ourselves to ,god by pray]1 we set out homew>ds ab\t five1 & travell$ till pa/ six at night4 ,we !n made u a fire1 & a %elt] ( b>ks1 & s re/$4,9 ! night1 ! wolves h[l$ r\nd u2 b ,god pres]v$ u4 ,friday1 ,octob] #ab4 ,i came home to my lodg+2 :]e ,i p\r$ out my s\l to ,god1 & endeav\r$ to bless him = 8 abundant goodness to me 9 my late j\rney4 ,i sc>ce ev] enjoy$ m heal?2 & ,god m>vell\sly1 support$ me "u ! fatigues ( ! way1 & travell+ on foot4 ,bless$ be ! ,"l1 t pres]ves me 9 all my ways4 ,"l's-day1 ,octob] #ad4 ,i 0 mu* confus$ & p]plex$ 9 my ?\ghts2 & almo/ disc\rag$1 ?9k+ ,i %\ld nev] be able to prea* any m4 ,h[ev]1 ,i w5t to ! place ( public wor%ip1 lift+ up my he>t1 & ,god 0 graci\s to me1 & help$ me to plead ) him = hol9ess1 & to use /rong argum5ts ) him1 drawn f ! suff]+s ( ,*ri/ = ?is v end1 t m5 might be made holy4 ,aft]w>ds ,i 0 mu* assi/$ 9 prea*+4 ,i "k n t ,god ev] help$ me to prea* 9 a m close mann]4 ,?r\gh ! inf9ite goodness ( ,god1 ,i felt :at ,i spake3 & ,god enabl$ me to speak ) uncommon cle>ness3 & yet ,i 0 deeply s5sible ( my defects 9 prea*+2 bless$ be ! ,"l = 8 m]cy4 ,9 ! ev5+ ,i long$ to be entirely alone1 to bless ,god = help 9 extremity2 & long$ = great] degrees ( hol9ess1 t ,i might %ew my gratitude to ,god4 99,tuesday1 ,octob] #af4 ,i felt a _s ( solemnity & wat*fulness2 & 0 afraid ,i %\ld n live to & ^u ,god3 ,i long$ = m int5s5ess & spirituality4 ,9 ! ev5+ ,i enjoy$ sweet assi/ance 9 pray]1 & ?ir/$ & plead$ to be z holy z ! bless$ angels4 99,friday1 ,octob] #ai4 ,i _h an abas+ s5se ( my own unhol9ess2 & felt my s\l melt & m\rn1 t ,i _h griev$ a graci\s ,god1 :o 0 /ill k9d to me1 not)/&+ all my unwor?9ess4 ,my s\l enjoy$ a sweet season ( sorr[1 t ,i _h wrong$ t bless$ ,god1 :o 0 reconcil$ to me 9 8 de> ,son4 ,my s\l 0 n[ t5d]1 dev\t1 & solemn3 & ,i 0 afraid ( no?+ b s92 & afraid ( t 9 e action & ?\ght4 ,w$nesday1 ,octob] #bd4 ,ne> noon ,i rode to my p2 sp5t "s "t1 & pray$ ) !m3 felt ! frame ( a pilgrim on e>?2 long$ mu* to leave ?is gloomy mansion2 b yet f\nd pati5ce & resignation4 ,z ,i return$ home f ! ,indians1 ,i sp5t ! :ole "t 9 lift+ up my he>t to ,god4 ,9 ! ev5+ ,i enjoy$ a bless$ season 9 pray]2 0 enabl$ to cry to ,god ) a *ild-l _s3 enjoy$ a sweet fre$om 9 supplicat+ = myself1 & = my de> fri5ds3 & long$ to be z lively 9 ,god's s]vice z ! angels4 99,friday1 ,octob] #bf4 ,9 ! morn+ my s\l 0 melt$ ) a s5se ( div9e goodness to su* a vile worm2 ,i delight$ to lean ^u ,god1 & place my :ole tru/ 9 him3 my s\l 0 exce$+ly griev$ = s91 & priz$ & long$ aft] hol9ess2 x w\nd$ my he>t deeply1 yet sweetly1 to ?9k h[ ,i _h abus$ a k9d ,god4 ,i long$ to be p]fectly holy1 t ,i might n grieve a graci\s ,god3 ,i long$ = hol9ess m = ?is end1 ?an = my happ9ess sake3 & yet ?is 0 my greate/ happ9ess1 nev]more to di%on\r1 b always to glorify ! bless$ ,god4 ,w$nesday1 ,octob] #ca4 ,i 0 s5sible ( my b>r5ness3 my s\l fail$ :5 ,i rememb]$ ! f]v5cy ,i _h enjoy$4 ,oh 7,i ?\ght7 if ,i c\ld b be spiritual1 w>m1 heav5ly m9d$1 & affectionately brea?+ aft] ,god1 ?is w\ld be bett] ?an life to me6 ,my s\l long$ exce$+ly = dea?1 to be loos$ f ?is dulness1 & made ev] active 9 ! s]vice ( ,god4 ,i seem$ to live = no?+1 & to d no good3 & ,oh1 ! burd5 ( su* a life6 ,oh1 dea?1 dea?1 my k9d fri5d1 ha/5 & deliv] me f dull mortality1 & make me spiritual & vigor\s to et]nity6 ,?ursday1 ,novemb] #a4 ,i felt life1 & long+s aft] ,god2 ,i long$ to be always solemn1 dev\t1 & heav5ly-m9d$2 & 0 afraid to leave (f pray+1 le/ ,i %\ld aga9 lose a s5se ( ! sweet ?+s ( ,god4 ,friday1 ,novemb] #b4 ,i 0 ex]cis$ sorely ) "s ?+s t ,i ?\ght myself mo/ ( all fre$ f4 ,& ?us ,i h ev] f\nd x1 :5 ,i h ?\ght ! battle 0 ov]1 & ! conque/ 0 ga9$1 & s let d[n my wat*1 ! enemy has ris5 up & done me ! greate/ injury4 ,! next day he set out on a j\rney to ,new-,york1 to meet ! ,presbyt]y !re3 & 0 gone f home m ?an a =tnight4 ,he seem$ to ent] on ?is j\rney ) great reluctance2 fe>+ x w\ld cool 8 religi\s affections4 ,b1 yet1 9 8 j\rney he _h special seasons ( ,god's graci\s pres5ce4 ,he 0 greatly fatigu$ !re9 by cold & /orms3 & :5 he return$ f ,new-,york to ,new-,j]sey1 0 v ill = "s "t4 ,w$nesday1 ,novemb] #ba4 ,i rode f ,new>k to ,rockciticus 9 ! cold1 & 0 almo/ ov]come ) x4 ,b ,i enjoy$ sweetness 9 conv]sation ) ,mr4 ,jones3 my s\l loves ! p ( ,god1 & especially ! m9i/]s1 :o feel ! same trials t ,i d4 99,?ursday1 ,novemb] #bb4 ,i came on my way to ,delaw>e riv]1 ?o' mu* disord]$ ) a cold & pa9 9 my head4 ,ab\t six at night ,i lo/ my way 9 ! wild]ness1 & w&]$ ov] rocks & m\nta9s1 d[n hide\s /eeps1 ?r\gh swamps1 & mo/ dreadful & dang]\s places3 & ! night be+ d>k1 ,i 0 greatly expos$3 ,i 0 mu* p9*$ ) cold1 & di/ress$ ) an extreme pa9 9 my head1 att5d$ ) sickness at my /oma*2 s t e /ep ,i took 0 di/ress+ to me4 ,i _h little hope1 b t ,i mu/ lie 9 ! woods all night4 ,b ab\t n9e o'clock ,i f\nd a h\se1 & 0 k9dly ent]ta9$4 ,?us ,i h frequ5tly be5 expos$3 b ,god has hi!rto pres]v$ me2 bless$ be 8 "n4 ,su* fatigues & h>d%ips s]ve to wean me f ! e>?2 & w make heav5 ! sweet]4 ,=m]ly1 :5 ,i 0 ?us expos$1 ,i 0 ready to please myself ) ! ?\ghts ( a com=table h\se1 a w>m fire1 & o!r outw>d com=ts2 b n[ ^! h less place 9 my he>t1 7?r\gh ! grace ( ,god7 & my eye is m to ,god = com=t4 ,9 ?is _w ,i expect tribulation1 & x does n n[ appe> /range to me4 ,i d n 9 seasons ( difficulty flatt] myself t x w be bett] h]eaft]2 b r ?9k1 h[ mu* worse x might be2 h[ mu* great] trials o!rs ( ,god's *ildr5 h endur$2 & h[ mu* great] may be res]v$ = me4 ,bless$ be ,god1 t he makes ! ?\ghts ( my j\rney's-end a great com=t to me1 "u my %>pe/ trials3 & sc>ce ev] lets ^! ?\ghts be att5d$ ) t]ror2 b frequ5tly ) great joy4 ,)9 ! next twelve days he sp5t mu* "t 9 h>d lab\r1 to make a little cottage1 to live 9 by himself4 ,?ursday1 ,decemb] #f4 ,hav+ n[ a happy opportunity ( be+ retir$ 9 a h\se ( my own2 ,i set ap>t ?is day = secret pray] & fa/+1 to implore ! bless+ ( ,god on myself1 on my poor p1 on my fri5ds1 & on ! *ur* ( ,god4 ,& n[ ,god 0 pleas$ to give me a discov]y ( ! plague ( my own he>t1 m affect+ ?an ,i h ( late _h4 ,& especially ,i saw my s9fulness 9 ?is1 t :5 ,god _h )drawn himself1 in/ead ( liv+ & dy+ 9 pursuit ( him1 ,i h be5 dispos$ to "o ( ^! two ?+s1 ei!r to yield an unbecom+ respect to "s e>?ly objects1 z if happ9ess 7 to be d]iv$ f !m3 or to be secretly fr[>d & impati5tly desir\s ( dea?4 ,t :i* (t5 drove me to ?is impati5t desire ( dea?1 0 a despair ( do+ any good4 ,b n[ ,god made me s5sible ( my s91 & enabl$ me to cry to him = =giv5ess4 ,yet ?is 0 n all ,i want$3 = my s\l appe>$ exce$+ly pollut$2 & ,i want$ to be purifi$ 8by ! blood ( spr9kl+ t cleanse? f all s940 ,& ?is ,i 0 enabl$ to pray = 9 fai?4 ,i enjoy$ mu* m int5s5ess1 f]v5cy1 & spirituality ?an ,i expect$2 ,god 0 bett] to me ?an my fe>s4 ,i 0 enabl$ to p]sev]e 9 pray] till ! ev5+3 ,i saw s mu* ne$ ( div9e help1 t ,i knew n h[ to leave (f1 & _h =got t ,i ne$$ food4 ,"l's-day1 ,decemb] #i4 ,i prea*$ bo? p>ts ( ! day at a place call$ ,gre5wi*1 ab\t t5 miles f my own h\se4 ,9 ! fir/ disc\rse ,i _h sc>ce any w>m?4 ,9 ! int]mission season ,i got alone among ! bu%es1 & cri$ to ,god be+ 9 angui%1 t ,i c\ld n address s\ls ) m compassion & t5d] affection2 :i* ,i saw ,i c\ld n get ( myself1 any m ?an ,i c\ld make a _w4 ,9 ! latt] ex]cise1 bless$ be ! ,"l1 ,i _h "s f]v5cy1 bo? 9 pray] & prea*+2 & 9 ! application ,i 0 enabl$ to address preci\s s\ls ) affection1 t5d]ness1 & importunity4 ,! ,_s ( ,god 0 !re2 ! effects 7 app>5t1 te>s runn+ d[n _m *eeks4 ,monday1 ,decemb] #aj4 ,i rode home1 bless$ ,god = 8 goodness2 & rejoic$1 t s mu* ( my "w 0 done1 & ,i s mu* ne>] my rew>d4 8gooddess0 replac$ ) 8goodness0 p] ,errata ,w$nesday1 ,decemb] #ab4 ,i 0 v weak1 b enabl$ ) sweetness to cry1 8,come1 ,"l ,jesus6 come quickly40 ,my s\l 8long$ = ,god1 = ! liv+ ,god40 ,o h[ delightful x is1 to pray "u su* influ5ces6 ,h[ mu* bett] ?an "o's necess>y food6 ,i _h at ?is "t no disposition to eat1 7?\gh late 9 ! morn+7 = e>?ly food appe>$ :olly ta/eless4,i visit$ & prea*$ to ! ,indians1 9 ! aft]noon2 b "u mu* dejection4 ,i f\nd my int]pret] "u "s conc]n = 8 s\l2 :i* 0 "s com=t to me4 ,i long$ greatly = 8 conv]sion1 p\r$ out my s\l to ,god = him2 & 0 enabl$ to leave all ) ,god4 ,?ursday1 ,decemb] #ac4 ,i sp5t ! day 9 fa/+ & pray]1 to implore ! div9e bless+1 m especially on my poor p2 9 p>ticul> = my int]pret]1 & ?ree or f\r m "u "s conc]n = _! s\ls3 b 9 ! ev5+ x seem$ z if ,i _h ne$ to pray = no?+ s mu* z = ! p>don ( s9s committ$ 9 ! day pa/4 ,! s9s ,i _h mo/ s5se (1 7 pride1 & w&]+ ?\ghts4 ,"l's-day1 ,decemb] #af4 ,i 0 s ov]:elm$ ) dejection1 t ,i knew n h[ to live3 ,i long$ = dea? exce$+ly3 my s\l 0 sunk into deep wat]s1 & ! floods 7 ready to dr[n me3 ,i 0 s mu* oppress$1 t my s\l 0 9 a k9d ( horror3 ,i _h no di/ress+ d\bt ab\t my own /ate2 b w\ld h *e>fully v5tur$ into et]nity4 ,:ile ,i 0 go+ to prea* to ! ,indians1 my s\l 0 9 angui%2 ,i despair$ ( do+ any good4 ,b at la/ ,i insi/$ on ! evid5ce ( ,*ri/ianity f ! miracles ( ,*ri/3 & ,god help$ me to make a close application to ^? t refus$ to believe4 ,i 0 enc\rag$ to f9d1 t ,god enabl$ me to be fai?ful once m4 ,!n ,i w5t & prea*$ to ano!r company ( !m2 b 0 v we>y & fa9t4 ,9 ! ev5+ ,i 0 some?+ refre%$1 & enabl$ to pray & praise ,god ) composure & affection3 ,i 0 n[ will+ to live1 & long$ to d m = ,god ?an my weak /ate ( body w\ld admit (4 8,i c d all ?+s ?r\gh ,*ri/ t /r5g!ns me20 & ,i am will+ to sp5d & be sp5t 9 8 s]vice4 ,tuesday1 ,decemb] #ah4 ,i w5t to ! ,indians1 & disc\rs$ to !m ne> an h\r1 & at la/ ,god help$ me to speak ) w>m?4 ,my int]pret] also 0 amaz+ly assi/$2 & ,i d\bt n b 8! ,_s ( ,god 0 ^u him40 ,& pres5tly mo/ ( ! gr[n p]sons 7 mu* affect$1 & ! te>s ran d[n _! *eeks3 & "o old man 7,i suppose an hundr$ ye>s old7 0 s affect$1 t he wept1 & seem$ conv9c$ ( ! importance ( :at ,i taught !m4 ,i /aid ) !m a consid]able "t1 exhort+ !m2 & came away1 lift+ up my he>t to ,god1 & enc\rag$ my int]pret] to 8/rive to ent] 9 at ! /rait gate40 ,?ursday1 ,janu>y #e1 #agdde4 ,be+ s5sible ( ! great want ( ! out-p\r+ ( ,god's ,_s1 ,i sp5t ?is day 9 fa/+ & pray]1 to seek s great a m]cy = myself1 & my poor p 9 p>ticul>1 & = ! *ur* ( ,god 9 g5]al4 ,saturday1 ,janu>y #e4 ,i 0 mu* disord]$ 9 my head4 ,i 0 di/ress$ ) a s5se ( my spiritual pollution1 & t5 ?\s& y\?ful1 yea1 & *ildi% follies3 all :i* appe>$ n[ fre%1 & 9 a lively view1 z if committ$ ye/]day4 ,w$nesday1 ,janu>y #i4 ,9 ! morn+1 ,god 0 pleas$ to remove t gloom :i* has ( late oppress$ my m9d1 & gave me fre$om & sweetness 9 pray]4 ,i 0 enc\rag$ to plead = grace = myself1 & m]cy = my poor ,indians3 & 0 sweetly assi/$ 9 my int]cessions ) ,god = o!rs4 ,^? ?+s t ( late h appe>$ almo/ impossible1 7 n[ n only possible1 b easy4 ,my s\l s mu* delight$ to cont9ue in/ant 9 pray]1 t ,i _h no desire = my necess>y food3 yea1 ,i dread$ leav+ (f pray+1 le/ ,i %\ld lose ?is spirituality1 & ?is bless$ ?ankfulness4 ,i felt n[ q will+ to live1 & und]go all trials t might rema9 = me 9 a _w ( sorr[2 b /ill long$ = heav51 t ,i might glorify ,god 9 a p]fect mann]4 ,monday1 ,janu>y #ad4 ,i sp5t ?is day "u a great degree ( bodily disord]4 ,x pa9s me1 t ,i live s mu* ( my "t = no?+4 ,i long to d mu* 9 a little "t1 & if x might be ! ,"l's w1 to f9i% my "w spe$ily 9 ?is tiresome _w4 ,i am sure1 ,i d n desire to live = any ?+ 9 ?is _w2 & ?r\gh grace ,i am n afraid to look ! k+ ( t]rors 9 ! face3 ,i "k1 ,i %all be afraid1 if ,god leaves me2 & !re=e ,i ?9k x is always my duty to lay 9 = t solemn h\r4 99,b = a consid]able "t1 my s\l has rejoic$ to ?9k ( dea? 9 its ne>e/ approa*es2 & ev5 :5 ,i h be5 v weak1 & seem$ ne>e/ et]nity4 8,n unto me1 n unto me1 b to ,god be ! glory40 ,i feel t :i* conv9ces me1 t if ,god d n enable me to ma9ta9 a holy dep5d5ce ^u him1 dea? w be a t]ror1 b at pres5t1 ,i mu/ say1 8,i long to dep>t1 & to be ) ,*ri/40 ,:5 ,i am 9 a sweet resign$ frame ( s\l1 ,i am will+ to t>ry 9 a _w ( sorr[1 ,i am will+ to be f home z long z ,god sees fit2 b :5 ,i want ! influ5ce ( ?is temp]1 ,i am !n apt to be impati5t to be gone4,oh :5 w ! day appe>1 t ,i %all be p]fect 9 hol9ess4 ,w$nesday & ,?ursday1 ,janu>y #af1 #ag4 ,i sp5t mo/ ( ! "t 9 writ+ on a div9e subject1 & enjoy$ fre$om & assi/ance4 ,o :at reason h ,i to be ?ankful1 t ,god ev] helps me to lab\r & /udy = him6 ,he does b receive 8 own1 :5 ,i am enabl$ 9 any measure to praise him1 lab\r = him1 & live to him4 ,"l's day1 ,janu>y #bg4 ,i _h ! greate/ degree ( inw>d angui%1 t ev] ,i endur$3 ,i 0 p]fectly ov]:elm$1 & s confus$1 t aft] ,i began to disc\rse to ! ,indians1 be=e ,i c\ld f9i% a s5t5ce1 sometimes ,i =got entirely :at ,i 0 aim+ at4 ,?is di/ress+ gloom nev] w5t (f ! :ole day3 b 0 s f> remov$1 t ,i 0 enabl$ to speak ) "s fre$om to ! ,indians1 at two ( _! settlem5ts2 & !re 0 "s appe>ance1 ( ! pres5ce ( ,god ) u4 ,9 ! ev5+ ! gloom cont9u$ /ill1 till at family-pray]1 :5 ,i 0 pray+ = ! conv]sion ( my poor p1 ! cl\d 0 scatt]$1 s t ,i enjoy$ sweetness & fre$om1 & conceiv$ hopes t ,god design$ m]cy = !m4 ,?\gh ,mr4 ,bra9]d n[ dwelt by himself 9 ! little cottage1 :i* he _h built = 8 own use2 yet t 0 ne> a family ( :ite p ) :om he _h liv$ be=e1 & ) :om he /ill att5d$ family-pray]4 ,"l's-day1 ,febru>y #c4 ,9 ! morn+1 ,i 0 some:at reliev$ ( t gloom1 t my m9d has ( late be5 ex]cis$ )2 & 0 enabl$ to pray ) composure & com=t4 ,b1 h[ev]1 ,i w5t to my ,indians trembl+2 = my s\l 8rememb]$ ! wormwood & ! gall0 ( ,friday la/2 & ,i 0 greatly afraid ,i %\ld be oblig$ aga9 to dr9k ( t cup ( trembl+1 :i* 0 inconceivably m bitt] ?an dea?4 ,b ,god 0 pleas$ to he> my cries1 & to af=d me great assi/ance2 s t ,i felt peace 9 my s\l2 & 0 satisfi$1 t if n "o ( ! ,indians %\ld be pr(it$ yet ,i %\ld be accept$ & rew>d$ z fai?ful4 99,monday1 ,febru>y #aa4 ,9 ! ev5+ ,i 0 9 a mo/ solemn frame3 ,i "k n t ev] dea? appe>$ m real to me1 or t ev] ,i saw myself 9 ! condition ( a dead corpse1 laid out1 & dress$ = a lodg+ 9 ! sil5t grave1 s evid5tly4 ,& yet ,i felt exce$+ly com=table2 my m9d 0 compos$ & calm1 & dea? appe>$ )\t a /+4 ,i nev] felt su* an univ]sal mortification to all creat$ objects4 ,oh1 h[ great & solemn a ?+ x appe>$ to die6 ,h[ x lays ! greate/ hon\r 9 ! du/6 ,& h[ va9 & trifl+ did ! ri*es1 hon\rs1 & pleasures ( ! _w appe>6 ,i c\ld n s mu* z ?9k ( any ( !m2 = dea?1 dea?1 solemn 7?\gh n frightful7 dea? appe>$ at ! door4 ,i c\ld see myself laid out1 & inclos$ 9 my c(f91 & put d[n into ! cold grave1 )\t t]ror6 ,i sp5t ! ev5+ 9 conv]s+ ) a ,*ri/ian fri5d2 & x 0 a com=table ev5+ to u bo?4,:at are fri5ds8 ,:at are com=ts8 ,:at are sorr[s8 ,:at are di/resses88,! "t is %ort3 x rema9s1 t !y t weep1 be z ?\gh !y wept n2 & !y :i* rejoice1 z ?\gh !y rejoic$ n3 = ! fa%ion ( ?is _w passe? away4 ,o come1 ,"l ,jesus1 come quickly40 ,friday1 ,febru>y #ae4 ,i _h a sweet s5se ( ! free grace ( ! gospel3 my s\l 0 enc\rag$1 w>m$1 & quick5$1 & my desires drawn out aft] ,god 9 pray]3 be+ afraid ( los+ s sweet a gue/ z ,i !n ent]ta9$4 ,i long$ to proclaim ! grace ,i !n m$itat$ ^u1 to ! _w ( s9n]s4,o h[ quick & p[]ful is ! ^w ( ! bless$ ,god6 ,"l's day1 ,febru>y #ag4 ,i prea*$ to ! :ite p 9 ! wild]ness1 ^u ! sunny side ( a hill3 ,i _h a consid]able assembly1 consi/+ ( p t liv$ 7_m ( !m7 ?irty miles asund]4 ,i disc\rs$ to !m1 f ,john vii4 #cg4 8,jesus /ood & cri$1 say+1 ,if any man ?ir/10 c4 ,9 ! aft]noon x pleas$ ,god to grant me great f]v5cy2 ,i 0 enabl$ to imitate ! example ( ,*ri/1 :o /ood & cri$4,i 0 sc>ce ev] enabl$ to (f] ! free grace ( ,god to p]i%+ s9n]s ) m fre$om & pla9ness4 ,o t ,i c\ld = ev] bless ,god = ! m]cy ( ?is day1 :o1 8answ]$ me 9 ! joy ( my he>t40 ,"l's-day1 ,febru>y #bd4 ,my int]pret] be+ abs5t1 ,i knew n h[ to p]=m my "w among ! ,indians4 ,h[ev]1 ,i rode to ! ,indians1 & got a ,dut*man to int]pret1 ?\gh he 0 b poorly qualifi$4 ,aft]w>ds ,i prea*$ to a few :ite p f ,john vi4 #fg4 ,o ! free grace ( ,*ri/1 t he seasonably m9ds 8 p ( _! dang] ( backslid+1 & invites !m to p]sev]e 9 _! adh]5ce to himself6 ,i saw t backslid+ s\ls might return1 & welcome1 to him imm$iately2 )\t any ?+ to recomm5d !m2 not)/&+ all _! =m] backslid+s4 ,& ,i felt solemn1 dev\t1 & sweet1 re/+ on him = assi/ance1 acceptance1 & peace ( consci5ce4 99,w$nesday1 ,m>* #f4 ,i sp5t mo/ ( ! day 9 prep>+ = a j\rney to ,new-,engl&1 & 9 pray]1 ) a ref]5ce to my j\rney4 ,i 0 afraid ,i %\ld =sake ! f\nta9 ( liv+ wat]s1 & attempt to d]ive satisfaction f brok5 ci/]ns1 my de> fri5ds & acqua9tance4 ,i look$ to ,god to keep me f ?is vanity 9 special1 z well z o!rs4 ,t[>ds night1 ,i 0 visit$ by "s fri5ds1 :o discov]$ an affectionate reg>d to me1 & seem$ griev$ t ,i 0 ab\t to leave !m2 especially see+ ,i did n expect to make any consid]able /ay among !m1 if ,i %\ld live to return f ,new-,engl&4 ,o h[ k9d has ,god be5 to me6 ,h[ has he rais$ up fri5ds 9 e place1 :]e 8 provid5ce has call$ me6 ,x seems1 he _h a design to remove & live among ! ,indians at ,susquahannah riv]4 ,! next day1 he set out on 8 j\rney2 & x 0 above five weeks be=e he return$4,! special design ( ?is j\rney 0 8,to raise "s money among ,*ri/ian fri5ds1 9 ord] to support a colleague ) me 9 ! wild]ness1 7,i hav+ n[ sp5t two ye>s 9 a v solit>y mann]7 t we might be toge!r2 z ,*ri/ s5t out 8 disciples two & two40 ,he fir/ w5t into v>i\s p>ts ( ,new-,j]sey1 !n to ,new-,york2 & f !nce into ,new-,engl&4 ,he !n return$ into ,new-,j]sey4 ,he seems1 = ! mo/ "p1 to h be5 free f melan*oly 9 ?is j\rney2 & _m times to h _h extraord9>y assi/ance 9 public m9i/rations4 8collegue0 replac$ ) 8colleague0 ,saturday1 ,april #ac4 ,i rode home to my own h\se4 ,bless$ be ! ,"l1 :o has pres]v$ me 9 ?is t$i\s j\rney4 ,v]ily x is ,god t has upheld me1 & gu>d$ my go+s4 ,?is week1 he w5t a j\rney to ,philadelphia1 9 ord] to engage ! ,gov]nor !re to use 8 int]e/ ) ! *ief man ( ! ,six ,nations1 7) :om he ma9ta9$ a /rict fri5d%ip7 t he w\ld give him leave to live at ,susquahannah1 & in/ruct ! ,indians t are )9 _! t]ritories4 ,! ,indians at ,susquahannah are a mix$ company ( _m nations1 speak+ v>i\s languages1 & few ( !m prop]ly ( ! ,six ,nations4 ,b yet ! c\ntry hav+ =m]ly be5 conqu]$ by ! ,six ,nations1 !y claim ! l&2 & ! ,susquahannah-,indians are a k9d ( vassals to !m4 ,"l's-day1 ,april #ba4 ,9 ! season ( ! communion1 ,i _h com=table appreh5sions ( ! blissful communion ( ,god's p1 :5 !y %all meet at _! ,fa!r's table 9 8 k+dom4,9 ! aft]noon ,i prea*$ abroad1 f ,revelation xiv4 #d4 8,^! are !y t foll[ ! ,lamb10 c4 ,god 0 pleas$ to give me great fre$om & cle>ness1 b n s mu* w>m? z be=e4 ,h[ev]1 !re 0 a mo/ amaz+ att5tion 9 ! :ole assembly2 &1 z ,i 0 in=m$ aft]w>ds1 ?is 0 a sweet season to _m4 ,tuesday1 ,april #bc4 ,i return$ home to ! ,=ks ( ,delaw>e2 enjoy$ "s sweet m$itations on ! road1 & 0 enabl$ to lift up my he>t to ,god 9 pray] & praise4 ,friday1 ,april #bf4 ,i felt a _s ( mortification to ! _w1 9 a v great degree4 ,aft]w>ds ,i 0 enabl$ to rely on ,god sweetly1 = 8all ?+s p]ta9+ to life & godl9ess40 ,j 9 ! ev5+1 ,i 0 visit$ by a de> ,*ri/ian fri5d1 ) :om ,i sp5t an h\r or two 9 conv]sation1 on ! v s\l ( religion4 ,!re are _m ) :om ,i c talk ab\t religion2 b alas6 ,i f9d few ) :om ,i c talk religion itself3 b1 bless$ be ! ,"l1 !re are "s t love to fe$ on ! k]nel1 r ?an ! %ell4 ,! next day1 he w5t to ! ,iri% settlem5t ab\t fifte5 miles di/ant3 :]e he sp5t ! sabba?4 ,on ,monday1 he return$ v weak1 to 8 own lodg+s4 ,tuesday1 ,april #cj4 ,i 0 sc>ce able to walk ab\t1 & 0 oblig$ to lie on ! b$1 mu* ( ! day2 be+ nei!r able to read1 m$itate1 nor pray1 & hav+ none to conv]se ) 9 t wild]ness4 ,oh1 h[ heavily does "t pass away1 :5 ,i c d no?+ to any good purpose8 ,?ursday1 ,may #b4 ,9 ! ev5+1 be+ a little bett] 9 heal?1 ,i walk$ into ! woods1 & enjoy$ a sweet season ( m$itation & pray]4 ,my ?\ghts ran ^u ,psalms xvii4 #ae4 8,i %all be satisfi$1 :5 ,i awake ) ?y lik5ess40 ,i long$ to prea* to ! :ole _w2 & x seem$ to me1 !y mu/ ne$s all be melt$ 9 he>+ su* preci\s tru?s1 z ,i _h !n a view (4,bless$ be ! ,"l1 t 9 my pres5t weakness1 my m9d is n gloomy1 z at "s o!r times4 ,tuesday1 ,may #g4 ,i sp5t ! day *iefly 9 mak+ prep>ation = a j\rney into ! wild]ness4 ,i 0 /ill weak1 & conc]n$ h[ ,i %\ld p]=m x4 ,i sp5t "s "t 9 pray] = ! div9e bless+2 b want$ bodily /r5g? to sp5d ! day 9 fa/+ & pray]4 ,! next day1 he set out on 8 j\rney to ,susquahannah1 ) 8 int]pret]4 ,he endur$ great h>d%ips 9 8 way ?i!r ?r\gh a hide\s wild]ness3 :]e1 aft] hav+ lodg$ "o night 9 ! op5 woods1 he 0 ov]tak5 ) a nor?-ea/]ly /orm1 9 :i* he 0 ready to p]i%4 ,hav+ no %elt]1 & n be+ able to make a fire 9 s great a ra91 he c\ld h no com=t if he /opt2 !re=e det]m9$ to g =w>d 9 hopes ( meet+ ) "s %elt]1 )\t :i* he ?\ght x impossible he %\ld live ! night ?r\gh4 ,b _! horses happ5+ to h eat poison\s plants at a place :]e !y lodg$ ! night be=e1 7 s sick t !y c\ld nei!r ride nor lead !m1 b 7 oblig$ to drive !m be=e !m1 until ?r\gh ! m]cy ( ,god 7j at dusk7 !y came to a b>k-hut1 :]e !y lodg$ t night4 ,aft] he came to ,susquahannah1 he travell$ ab\t an hundr$ miles on ! riv]1 visit$ _m t[ns & settlem5ts ( ! ,indians2 & prea*$ to diff]5t nations1 by diff]5t int]pret]s4 ,he 0 sometimes mu* disc\rag$1 ?r\gh ! opposition t appe>$ 9 ! ,indians to ,*ri/ianity4 ,at o!r times1 he 0 enc\rag$ by ! disposition1 t "s ( !m manife/$ to he>1 & to be in/ruct$4 ,he "h met ) "s t _h =m]ly be5 8 he>]s at ,kaunaumeek1 :o saw & he>d him aga9 ) great joy4 ,he sp5t a =tnight among ! ,indians2 pass$ ?r\gh consid]able h>d%ips1 frequ5tly lodg+ on ! gr\nd1 & sometimes 9 ! op5 air2 & at l5g? fell extremely ill1 z he 0 rid+ 9 ! wild]ness1 be+ seiz$ ) an ague1 foll[$ ) extreme pa9s 9 8 head & b[els1 & a great evacuation ( blood2 s t he ?\ght he mu/ h p]i%$4 ,b at la/ com+ to an ,indian trad]'s hut1 he got leave to /ay !re3 & ?\gh )\t physic or prop] food1 x pleas$ ,god1 aft] ab\t a week1 to relieve him s f> t he 0 able to ride4 ,he return$ homew>ds f ,juneauta1 an isl& f> d[n ! riv]2 :]e 0 a consid]able numb] ( ,indians1 :o appe>$ m free f prejudices aga9/ ,*ri/ianity1 ?an mo/ ( ! o!r ,indians4 ,he arriv$ at ! ,=ks ( ,delaw>e on ,?ursday1 ,may #cj1 aft] hav+ rode 9 ?is j\rney ab\t ?ree hundr$ & =ty miles4 ,he came home 9 a v weak /ate4 ,h[ev]1 on ! sabba?1 aft] hav+ prea*$ to ! ,indians1 he prea*$ to ! :ite p1 ) success1 f ,isaiah liii4 #aj4 8,yet x pleas$ ! ,"l to bruise him10 c4 "s be+ awak5$ by 8 prea*+4 ,w$nesday1 ,june #e4 ,i felt ?ir/+ desires aft] ,god1 & enjoy$ a preci\s season ( retirem5t3 div9e ?+s op5$ ) cle>ness & c]ta9ty1 & _h a div9e /amp ^u !m3 my s\l 0 also enl>g$ & refre%$ 9 pray]2 ,i delight$ to cont9ue 9 ! duty3 & 0 sweetly assi/$ 9 pray+ = my fell[ ,*ri/ians1 & my de> bre?r5 9 ! m9i/ry4 ,o :at a bless$ness x is1 to be z mu* l ,god1 z x is possible to be6 ,"l1 give me m ( ?y lik5ess2 8,i %all be satisfi$1 :5 ,i awake ) x40 ,friday1 ,june #g4 ,he w5t a j\rney ( ne> fifty miles to ,ne%am9y1 to assi/ at a sacram5tal occasion4 ,saturday1 ,june #h4 ,i 0 exce$+ weak & fatigu$ ) rid+ 9 ! heat ye/]day2 b be+ desir$1 ,i prea*$ 9 ! aft]noon1 to a cr\d$ audi5ce1 f ,isaiah xl4 #a4 8,com=t ye1 com=t ye my p1 sai? y\r ,god40 ,god 0 pleas$ to give me great fre$om4 ,&1 bless$ be ! ,"l1 x 0 a sweet melt+ season 9 ! assembly4 ,"l's day1 ,june #i4 ,i disc\rs$ ) ref]5ce to t sacr$ passage1 ,isaiah liii4 #aj4 8,yet x pleas$ ! ,"l to bruise him40 99,god gave me great assi/ance 9 address+ s9n]s3 & ! ^w 0 att5d$ ) amaz+ p[]2 _m scores1 if n hundr$s1 9 t great assembly1 consi/+ ( ?ree or f\r ?\s&1 7 mu* affect$2 s t !re 0 a 8v great m\rn+1 l ! m\rn+ ( ,hadadrimmon40,9 ! ev5+1 ,i c\ld h>dly look any body 9 ! face1 because ( ! imp]fections ,i saw 9 my p]=mances 9 ! day pa/4 ,tuesday1 ,june #aa4 ,i sp5t ! day ma9ly 9 conv]sation ) ,*ri/ian fri5ds2 & enjoy$ a sweet s5se ( div9e ?+s4 ,o h[ desirable x is1 to keep company ) ,god's *ildr56 ,^! are ! 8excell5t ones ( ! e>?1 9 :om10 ,i c truly say1 8is all my delight40 ,o :at delight w x af=d1 to meet !m all 9 a /ate ( p]fection6 ,"l1 prep>e me = t /ate4 ,tuesday1 ,june #ah4 ,i set out f ,new-,brunswick ) a design to visit "s ,indians at a place call$ ,crosweeksung 9 ,new-,j]sey1 t[>ds ! sea4 ,9 ! aft]noon ,i came to ,cranb]ry1 & meet+ ) a s]i\s m9i/]1 lodg$ ) him4 ,mr4 ,bra9]d hav+1 :5 at ,bo/on1 wrote & left ) a fri5d a brief relation ( 8 lab\rs ) ! ,indians1 dur+ ! space ( "t betwe5 ,novemb] #e1 #agdd1 & ,june #ai1 #agde1 concludes ) ?is passage3 8,z my body 0 v feeble1 s my m9d 0 sc>ce ev] s mu* disc\rag$ ab\t ! conv]sion ( ! ,indians1 z at ?is "t4 ,& 9 ?is /ate ( body & m9d ,i made my fir/ visit to ! ,indians 9 ,new-,j]sey40 ,,"p ,,vii4 ,f 8 fir/ beg9n+ to prea* to ! ,indians at ,crosweeksung1 till he return$ f 8 la/ j\rney to ,susquahannah4 ,,we are n[ come to t "p ( ,mr4 ,bra9]d's life1 :]e9 he _h 8 greate/ success4 ,aft] all 8 agoniz+ 9 pray]1 & travell+ 9 bir?1 = ! conv]sion ( ! ,indians2 & aft] wait+ 9 a way ( p]sev]+ pray]1 lab\r1 & suff]+1 z x 7 ?r\gh a long night2 at l5g? ! day dawns3 8,weep+ cont9ues = a night1 b joy comes 9 ! morn+4 ,he w5t =? weep+1 be>+ preci\s se$1 & n[ he comes ) rejoic+1 br++ 8 %eaves ) him40 ,! desir$ ev5t is br\ght to pass at la/2 b at a "t1 & 9 a place1 t sc>ce ev] ent]$ into 8 he>t4 ,an acc\nt ( ?is is "h ins]t$1 z x 0 drawn up by ,mr4 ,bra9]d himself1 pursuant to ! ord] ( ! hon\rable society 9 ,scotl&4 ,w$nesday1 ,june #ai4 ,hav+ sp5t mo/ ( my "t = m ?an a ye> pa/ among ! ,indians 9 ! ,=ks ( ,delaw>e 9 ,p5sylvania2 & hav+ 9 t "t made two j\rneys to ,susquahannah riv]1 f> back 9 t prov9ce1 9 ord] to treat ) ! ,indians !re1 respect+ ,*ri/ianity2 & n hav+ _h any consid]able success 9 ei!r ( ^? places2 ^u he>+ t !re 0 a numb] ( ,indians 9 a place call$ 7by ! ,indians7 ,crosweeksung 9 ,new-,j]sey1 ne> f\rscore miles s\?-ea/w>d f ! ,=ks ( ,delaw>e1 ,i det]m9$ to make !m a visit1 & see :at might be done t[>ds ! ,*ri/ianiz+ ( !m2 & accord+ly arriv$ among !m ?is day4 ,i f\nd v few p]sons at ! place ,i visit$1 & p]ceiv$ ! ,indians 9 ^! p>ts 7 mu* scatt]$1 !re be+ n m ?an two or ?ree families 9 a place1 & ^! small settlem5ts1 six1 t51 fifte51 tw5ty1 & ?irty miles1 & "s m1 f ! place ,i 0 !n at4 ,h[ev]1 ,i prea*$ to ^? few :o appe>$ well-dispos$1 &1 n incl9$ to cavil1 z ! ,indians _h frequ5tly done else:]e4 ,:5 ,i _h conclud$ my disc\rse1 ,i in=m$ !m 7!re be+ none b a few wom5 & *ildr57 t ,i w\ld will+ly visit !m aga9 ! next day4 ,:]eupon !y readily set out1 & travell$ t5 or fifte5 miles1 9 ord] to give notice to "s ( _! fri5ds at t di/ance4 ,^! wom51 l ! woman ( ,sam>ia1 seem$ desir\s t o!rs might 8see ! man t told !m1 :at !y _h done0 9 _! lives pa/1 & ! mis]y t att5d$ _! idolatr\s ways4 ,?ursday1 ,june #bj4 ,t[>ds night1 ,i prea*$ to ! ,indians aga92 & _h m he>]s ?an be=e4 ,9 ! ev5+1 ,i enjoy$ peace & s]5ity ( m9d1 composure & com=t 9 pray]2 & 0 enabl$ to lift up my head ) joy1 "u an appreh5sion t my r$emption draws nigh4 ,oh1 bless$ be ,god1 t !re rema9s a re/ to 8 poor we>y p6 ,friday1 ,june #ba4 ,i 0 refre%$ 9 secret pray]2 b saw myself a poor wor?less creature1 )\t wisdom to direct1 or /r5g? to help myself4 ,bless$ be ,god1 t lays me "u a happy necessity ( liv+ ^u himself6 ,saturday1 ,june #bb4 ,ab\t noon1 ,i rode to ! ,indians aga92 & ne> night prea*$ to ab\t ?irty ( !m4 ,i f\nd my body mu* /r5g!n$1 & 0 enabl$ to speak ) abundant pla9ness & w>m?4 ,& ! p[] ( ,god evid5tly att5d$ ! ^w2 s t sundry p]sons 7 br\ght "u great conc]n = _! s\ls1 & made to %$ _m te>s1 & to wi% = ,*ri/ to save !m4 ,my s\l 0 mu* refre%$1 & quick5$ 9 my "w2 & ,i c\ld n b sp5d mu* "t ) !m1 9 ord] to op5 bo? _! mis]y & rem$y4 ,:ile rid+1 be=e ,i came to ! ,indians1 ,i 0 enabl$ to cry to ,god almo/ incessantly4 ,9 ! ev5+ also ,i f\nd ! consolations ( ,god 7 n small3 ,i 0 !n will+ to live1 & 9 "s respects desir\s ( x1 t ,i might d some?+ = ! k+dom ( ,*ri/2 & yet dea? appe>$ pleasant3 s t1 ,i 0 9 a /rait betwe5 two4 ,i am (t5 we>y ( ?is _w2 b x is desirable to be drawn1 r ?an driv5 out ( x4 ,"l's day1 ,june #bc4 ,i prea*$ to ! ,indians & sp5t ! day ) !m4,_! numb] /ill increas$2 & all ) "o cons5t seem$ to rejoice 9 my com+ among !m4 ,n a ^w ( opposition 0 he>d f any1 al?\gh 9 times pa/ !y _h be5 q opposite to any ?+ ( t nature4 ,june #bd4 ,i prea*$ to ! ,indians at _! desire1 & ^u _! own motion4 ,to see poor ,pagans desir\s ( he>+ ! gospel ( ,*ri/1 animat$ me to disc\rse to !m1 al?\gh ,i 0 v weak1 & my spirits mu* exhau/$4 ,!y att5d$ ) ! greate/ s]i\sness & dilig5ce2 & !re 0 "s conc]n app>5t among !m4 ,june #bg4 ,i visit$ & prea*$ to ! ,indians aga94 ,_! numb] n[ am\nt$ to ab\t =ty p]sons4 ,_! solemn att5tion /ill cont9u$2 & a consid]able conc]n = _! s\ls 0 app>5t among sundry ( !m4 ,friday ,june #bh4 ,! ,indians be+ n[ ga!r$1 a consid]able numb] ( !m1 f _! sev]al di/ant habitations1 reque/$ me to prea* twice a day to !m1 be+ desir\s to he> z mu* z !y c\ld :ile ,i 0 ) !m4 ,i *e>fully compli$1 & c\ld n b admire ! goodness ( ,god1 :o _h incl9$ !m to enquire aft] ! way ( salvation4 ,saturday1 ,june #bi4 ,i prea*$ twice to ! ,indians2 & c\ld n b wond] at _! s]i\sness1 & ! /rictness ( _! att5tion4,bless$ be ,god t has incl9$ _! he>ts to he>4 ,& ,o h[ refre%+ x is to me1 to see !m att5d ) su* uncommon dilig5ce & affection4 ,i likewise saw ! h& ( ,god mak+ provision = _! subsi/5ce toge!r1 9 ord] to _! be+ in/ruct$4 ,= ?is day & ! day be=e1 ) only walk+ a little way f ! place ( our daily meet+1 !y kill$ ?ree de]1 :i* 7 a seasonable supply = _! wants1 & )\t :i*1 !y c\ld n h subsi/$ toge!r 9 ord] to att5d ! means ( grace4 ,"l's-day1 ,june #cj4 ,i prea*$ twice ?is day also1 & obs]v$ m conc]n & affection among ! poor ,hea!ns ?an ev]2 s t !y ev5 con/ra9$ me to t>ry long] ) !m2 al?\gh my con/itution 0 mu* impair$ by ! late fatigues & lab\rs1 & especially by my late j\rney to ,susquahannah4 ,july #a4 ,i prea*$ aga9 twice to a v s]i\s & att5tive assembly1 :o _h n[ le>n$ to att5d ! wor%ip ( ,god ) ,*ri/ian dec5cy4 ,!re 7 n[ betwe5 =ty & fifty p]sons ( !m pres5t1 old & "y4 ,i sp5t "s "t 9 disc\rs+ ) !m 9 private1 enquir+ :at !y rememb]$ ( ! great tru?s t _h be5 taught !m4 ,x 0 amaz+ to see h[ !y _h reta9$ ! in/ructions giv5 !m1 & :at k "s ( !m _h acquir$ 9 a few days4 ,july #b4 ,i 0 oblig$ to leave ^! ,indians at ,crosweeksung1 ?9k+ x my duty1 z soon z heal? w\ld admit1 to visit ^? at ! ,=ks ( ,delaw>e4 ,:5 ,i came to take leave ( !m1 !y all e>ne/ly enquir$ :5 ,i w\ld come aga91 & express$ a great desire ( be+ f>!r in/ruct$3 & ( _! own accord agre$1 t :5 ,i %\ld come aga91 !y w\ld all meet & live toge!r dur+ my cont9uance ) !m2 & t !y w\ld d _! utmo/ endeav\rs to ga!r all ! o!r ,indians 9 ^! p>ts t 7 f>!r remote4 ,& :5 ,i p>t$1 "o told me ) _m te>s1 8,%e wi%$ ,god w\ld *ange h] he>t10 ano!r1 t 8,%e want$ to f9d ,*ri/30 & an old man t _h be5 "o ( _! *iefs1 wept bitt]ly4 ,i !n promis$ !m to return z spe$ily z my heal? & bus9ess w\ld admit1 & felt n a little conc]n$ at p>t+1 lea/ good impressions might we> (f4 ,aft]w>ds ,i rode to ,brunswick1 ne> =ty miles1 & lodg$ !re4 ,i felt my he>t drawn out aft] ,god 9 pray] almo/ all ! aft]noon3 & 9 ! ev5+ c\ld n help cry+ to ,god = ^! poor ,indians2 & aft] ,i w5t to b$1 my he>t cont9u$ to g out to ,god = !m1 till ,i dropp$ asleep4 ,he 0 n[ s beat out by con/ant prea*+1 t he f\nd x necess>y to give himself "s relaxation4 ,he sp5t !re=e ab\t a week 9 ,new-,j]sey1 visit+ sev]al m9i/]s1 & p]=m+ "s necess>y bus9ess4 ,on ,friday1 ,july #ab4 ,he arriv$ at 8 own h\se 9 ! ,=ks ( ,delaw>e2 cont9u+ /ill free f melan*oly & f day to day enjoy+ fre$om & refre%m5t4 ,"l's-day1 ,july #ad4 ,i disc\rs$ to ! ,indians twice1 sev]al ( :om appe>$ conv9c$ ( _! s9 & mis]y2 s t !y wept mu* ! :ole "t ( div9e s]vice4 ,?ursday1 ,july #ah4 ,i long$ to sp5d ! little in* ( "t ,i h 9 ! _w = ,god3 ,felt a _s ( s]i\sness1 t5d]ness1 & devotion1 & wi%$ to sp5d ! :ole night 9 pray] & communion ) ,god4 ,friday1 ,july #ai4 ,9 ! ev5+ ,i walk$ abroad = pray] & m$itation1 & enjoy$ composure & fre$om especially1 9 m$itation on ,revelation iii4 #ab4 8,him t ov]come?1 w ,i make a pill> 9 ! temple ( my ,god40 ,oh1 :5 %all ,i g no m out f ! s]vice & enjoym5t ( ! de> ,"l6 ,"l1 ha/5 ! bless$ day4 ,"l's-day1 ,july #ba4 ,i prea*$ to ! ,indians fir/1 !n to a numb] ( :ite p1 & 9 ! aft]noon to ! ,indians aga94,div9e tru?s seem$ to make v consid]able impressions ^u sev]al ( !m & caus$ te>s to fl[ freely4 ,aft]w>ds ,i baptiz$ my int]pret] & 8 wife1 ! fir/ ,i baptiz$ among ! ,indians4 ,!y are bo? p]sons ( "s exp]im5tal k 9 religion2 h bo? be5 awak5$ to a solemn conc]n = _! s\ls & br\ght to a s5se ( _! mis]y & undon5ess2 & h bo? be5 com=t$ ) div9e consolations4 ,x may p]haps be satisfactory t ,i %\ld give "s relation ( 8 exp]i5ce s9ce he has be5 ) me4 ,:5 ,i fir/ employ$ him 9 ! beg9n+ ( summ] #agdd1 he 0 well fitt$ = 8 "w 9 reg>d ( 8 acqua9tance ) ! ,indian & ,engli% language2 & 9 reg>d ( 8 desire t ! ,indians %\ld con=m to ! cu/oms & mann]s ( ! ,engli%4 ,b he seem$ to h no impression ( religion1 & 9 t respect 0 v unfit = 8 "w1 be+ uncapable ( und]/&+ & communicat+ to o!rs _m ?+s ( importance2 s t ,i lab\r$ "u great disadvantages 9 address+ ! ,indians1 = want ( 8 hav+ an exp]im5tal acqua9tance ) div9e tru?s2 &1 at times ,i 0 mu* disc\rag$1 :5 ,i obs]v$ t div9e tru?s made little or no impression ^u him = _m weeks toge!r4 ,he inde$ behav$ sob]ly1 7al?\gh be=e he _h be5 a h>d dr9k]7 & seem$ hone/ly engag$ z f> he 0 capable 9 ! p]=mance ( 8 "w1 & especially he 0 v desir\s t ! ,indians %\ld con=m to ! cu/oms ( ! ,*ri/ian _w4 ,b /ill seem$ to h no conc]n ab\t 8 own s\l4 ,ne> ! latt] end ( ,july #agdd1 ,i prea*$ to an assembly ( :ite p1 ) fre$om & f]v5cy3 at :i* "t he 0 pres5t1 & 0 some:at awak5$2 s t ! next day he disc\rs$ freely ) me & gave me an opportunity to fa/5 ! impressions ^u 8 m9d3 & ,i c\ld pla9ly p]ceive aft] ?is1 t he address$ ! ,indians ) m conc]n & f]v5cy4 ,b ^! impressions seem$ to decl9e1 till 9 ! fall ( ! ye> foll[+ he fell into a weak /ate ( body4 ,at ?is season div9e tru? took hold ( him & made deep impressions ^u 8 m9d4 ,he 0 "u great conc]n = 8 s\l1 & 0 burd5$ f day to day4 ,at l5g? 8 sleep dep>t$ f him1 & he _h little re/ day or night2 b walk$ ab\t "u great pressure ( m9d1 & appe>$ l ano!r man to 8 neighb\rs :o c\ld n b obs]ve 8 behavi\r ) wond]4 ,aft] he _h be5 sometime /riv+ = m]cy1 he says1 !re seem$ to be an impassable m\nta9 be=e him4 ,he 0 press+ t[>ds heav51 b 88 way 0 h$g$ up ) ?orns1 t he c\ld n /ir an in* f>!r40 ,he look$ ?is way & t way1 b c\ld f9d no way at all4 ,he felt x signifi$ j no?+ at all to /rive & /ruggle any m4 ,& "h he says1 he gave ov] /riv+1 & felt t x 0 a gone case ) him1 & t all 8 attempts 71 & = ev] w\ld be va9 & fruitless4 ,he knew1 he said1 he 0 n guilty ( su* actions z o!rs 7 guilty (4 ,he _h n be5 us$ to /eal1 qu>rel1 & murd]2 :i* is common among ! ,indians4 ,he likewise knew t he _h done _m ?+s t 7 "r4 ,b /ill 8 cry 01 8t he _h nev] done "o good ?+10 7mean+ t he _h nev] done any ?+ f a "r pr9ciple1 ?\gh he _h done _m ?+s t 7 mat]ially good47 ,& n[ ,i ?\ght1 said he1 t ,i mu/ s9k d[n to hell1 t !re 0 no hope = me1 8because ,i nev] c\ld d any ?+ t 0 good20 & if ,god let me alone nev] s long1 /ill ,i %\ld d no?+ b :at is bad4 ,!re 0 "o ?+ m 9 8 view ( ?+s t 0 v rem>kable4 ,he n only saw1 :at a mis]able /ate he himself 0 91 b he saw ! _w ar\nd him 7 9 ! same p]i%+ circum/ances4 ,& ?is he saw cle>ly1 8z if he 0 n[ awak$ out ( sleep1 or _h a cl\d tak5 f be=e 8 eyes40 ,he saw t ! life he _h liv$ 0 ! way to et]nal dea?1 t he 0 n[ on ! br9k ( endless mis]y3 & :5 he look$ r\nd he saw multitudes ( o!rs :o _h liv$ ! same life ) himself1 _h no m goodness ?an he1 & yet dream$ t !y 7 safe en\gh1 z he _h =m]ly done4 99,aft] he _h be5 "s "t 9 ?is condition1 s5sible ( ! impossibility ( help+ himself2 he says1 x 0 borne 9 ^u 8 m9d z if x _h be5 audibly spok51 8,!re is hope1 !re is hope40 ,:]eupon 8 s\l seem$ to be 9 "s measure satisfi$1 ?\gh he _h no consid]able joy2 nei!r c he rememb] di/9ctly any views he _h ( ,*ri/1 or give any cle> acc\nt ( 8 acceptance ?r\gh him4 ,b ?is 0 foll[$ by a great *ange1 s t x might ju/ly be said1 he 0 become ano!r man4 ,ev5 ! _w c\ld n b admire :at _h befall5 him1 to make s great a *ange 9 8 temp]1 disc\rse1 & behavi\r4 ,& especially !re 0 a surpris+ alt]ation 9 8 public p]=mances4 ,he n[ address$ ! ,indians ) admirable f]v5cy1 & sc>ce knew :5 to leave (f3 & sometimes :5 ,i _h conclud$ my disc\rse1 & 0 return+ homew>d1 he w\ld t>ry beh9d to repeat & inculcate :at _h be5 spok54 ,8 *ange is abid+1 & 8 life unblemi%$ to ?is day1 ?\gh x is n[ m ?an six mon?s s9ce he exp]i5c$ x2 9 :i* space he has be5 z mu* expos$ to /rong dr9k1 z possible1 9 div]s places2 & yet has nev] discov]$ any desire aft] x4 99,& ^u /rict obs]vation ( 8 ,*ri/ian temp]1 & unblemi%$ behavi\r = s consid]able a "t1 ,i ?9k ,i h reason to hope t he is 8creat$ anew 9 ,*ri/ ,jesus to good works40 ,8 "n is ,moses ,t9da ,tautamy2 he is ab\t fifty ye>s ( age1 & pretty well acqua9t$ ) ! notions & cu/oms ( 8 c\ntrym51 & s is ! bett] able to expose !m4 ,he has already be51 & ,i tru/ w yet be a bless+ to o!r ,indians4 ,friday1 ,july #bf4 ,9 ! ev5+1 ,god 0 pleas$ to help me 9 pray]1 beyond :at ,i h exp]i5c$ = "s "t2 especially = ! conv]sion ( my poor p3 my s\l reli$ on ,god = ! accompli%m5t ( t great "w4 ,oh1 h[ sweet 7 ! ?\ghts ( dea? to me at ?is "t6 ,h[ ,i long$ to be ) ,*ri/1 to be employ$ 9 ! glori\s "w ( angels1 & ) an angel's fre$om1 vig\r1 & delight6 ,& yet h[ will+ 0 ,i to /ay a:ile on e>?1 t ,i might d some?+1 if ! ,"l pleas$ = 8 int]e/4 ,my s\l long$ = ! +a!r+ ( ! poor ,hea!n2 & ,i cri$ to ,god = !m mo/ will+ly & he>tily4 ,?is 0 a sweet season2 ,i _h a lively ta/e ( heav51 & a temp] suit$ 9 "s measure to ! ent]ta9m5t ( x4 ,my s\l 0 griev$ to leave ! place2 b my body 0 weak & worn out4 ,i long$ t ! rema9+ "p ( my life might be fill$ up ) m f]v5cy & activity 9 ! ?+s ( ,god6 ,oh ! inw>d peace1 composure1 & ,god-l s]5ity ( su* a frame6 ,heav5 mu/ ne$s diff] f ?is only 9 degree1 & n 9 k9d4 ,"l's-day1 ,july #bh4 ,i prea*$ aga91 & p]ceiv$ my p m ?\ghtful ?an ev]4 ,i 0 told by "s1 t see+ my int]pret] & 8 wife baptiz$ made !m m conc]n$ ?an any ?+ !y _h ev] se5 or he>d4 ,!re 0 inde$ a consid]able appe>ance ( div9e p[] among !m at ! "t4 ,july #cj4 ,i disc\rs$ to a numb] ( my p1 & gave !m p>ticul> advice1 be+ ab\t to leave !m = ! pres5t1 9 ord] to visit ! ,indians 9 ,new-,j]sey4 ,!y 7 v att5tive1 & e>ne/ly desir\s to "k :5 ,i design$ to return4 ,on ,w$nesday1 ,july #ca4 ,he set out on 8 return to ,crosweeksung1 & arriv$ !re ! next day4 ,9 8 way he _h long+ desires t he might come to ! ,indians 9 ! 8fulness ( ! bless+ ( ! gospel ( ,*ri/20 att5d$ ) a s5se ( 8 own great weakness1 dep5d5ce & wor?lessness4 ,friday1 ,augu/ #b4 ,9 ! ev5+ ,i retir$1 & my s\l 0 drawn out 9 pray] to ,god2 especially = my poor p1 to :om ,i _h s5t ^w to ga!r toge!r1 t ,i might prea* to !m ! next day4 ,i 0 mu* enl>g$ 9 pray+ = _! conv]sion2 & sc>ce ev] f\nd my desires ( x s s5sibly & cle>ly free f selfi% views4 ,i _h no desire to be ! in/rum5t ( s glori\s a "w2 if x might be accompli%$ to ! hon\r ( ,god1 ?is 0 all my c>e2 & = ?is ,i hop$1 b ) trembl+4 ,my ris+ hopes1 h be5 s (t5 da%$1 t my _s is brok51 & ,i h>dly d>e hope4 ,saturday1 ,augu/ #c4 ,i n[ f\nd !m s]i\s1 & a numb] ( !m "u deep conc]n = an int]e/ 9 ,*ri/3 _! convictions ( _! s9ful & p]i%+ /ate hav+1 9 my abs5ce be5 mu* promot$ by ! lab\rs ( ,mr4 ,william ,t5n5t1 to :om ,i advis$ !m to apply1 & ^: h\se !y _h frequ5t$ mu*4,i prea*$ to !m ?is day on ,revelation xxii4 #ag4 8,& :osoev] w1 let him take ! wat] ( life freely40 ,! ,"l enabl$ me to set be=e !m ! ,"l ,jesus ,*ri/ z a k9d & compassionate ,savi\r1 invit+ di/ress$ & p]i%+ s9n]s to accept ev]la/+ m]cy4 ,& a surpris+ conc]n soon appe>$ among !m4 ,!re 7 ab\t tw5ty adult p]sons toge!r1 7_m ( ! ,indians at remote places1 n hav+ z yet _h "t to come s9ce my return47 & n above two t ,i c\ld see ) dry eyes4 ,"s discov]$ vehem5t long+s aft] ,*ri/1 to save !m f ! mis]y !y felt & fe>$4 ,"l's-day1 ,augu/ #d4 ,be+ invit$ by a neighb\r+ m9i/] to assi/ 9 ! adm9i/ration ( ! ,"l's-supp]1 ,i compli$ ) 8 reque/1 & took ! ,indians along ) me2 n only ^? t 7 toge!r ! day be=e1 b _m m t 7 com+ to he> me2 s t !re 7 ne> fifty 9 all4 ,n[ a *ange 9 _! mann]s began to appe>4 ,9 ! ev5+ :5 !y came to sup toge!r1 !y w\ld n ta/e a morsel till !y _h s5t to me to come & ask a bless+ on _! food2 at :i* "t sundry ( !m wept1 especially :5 ,i m9d$ !m h[ !y _h 9 times pa/ eat _! fea/s 9 hon\r to devils1 & neglect$ to ?ank ,god = !m4 ,augu/ #e4 ,aft] a s]mon _h be5 prea*$ by ano!r m9i/]1 ,i prea*$1 & conclud$ ! public "w ( ! solemnity f ,john vii4 #cg4 ,9 my disc\rse ,i address$ ! ,indians 9 p>ticul>1 :o sat by !mselves 9 a "p ( ! h\se2 at :i* "t "o or two ( !m 7 /ruck ) deep conc]n1 :o _h be5 little affect$ be=e3 o!rs _h _! conc]n increas$ to a consid]able degree4 ,9 ! ev5+ ,i disc\rs$ to !m1 & f\nd !m univ]sally engag$1 inquir+1 8,:at !y %\ld d to be sav$80 ,& all _! conv]sation among !mselves turn$ ^u religi\s matt]s1 9 :i* !y 7 mu* assi/$ by my int]pret]1 :o 0 ) !m day & night4 99,?is day !re 0 "o woman1 t _h be5 mu* conc]n$ ev] s9ce %e he>d me prea* 9 ,june1 :o obta9$ com=t1 ,i tru/ solid & well gr\nd$3 %e seem$ to be fill$ ) love to ,*ri/1 at ! same "t %e behav$ humbly & t5d]ly1 & appe>$ afraid ( no?+ s mu* z ( griev+ him :om h] s\l lov$4 ,augu/ #f4 ,9 ! morn+ ,i disc\rs$ to ! ,indians at ! h\se :]e we lodg$3 _m ( !m 7 !n mu* affect$1 s t a few words ab\t _! s\ls w\ld cause ! te>s to fl[ freely1 & produce _m sobs & groans4 99,9 ! aft]noon1 !y be+ return$ to ! place :]e ,i h usually prea*$ among !m1 ,i aga9 disc\rs$ to !m !re4 ,!re 7 ab\t fifty-five p]sons 9 all1 ab\t =ty t 7 capable ( att5d+ div9e s]vice ) und]/&+3 ,i insi/$ ^u #a ,john iv4 #aj4 8,h]e9 is love10 c4 ,!y seem$ eag] ( he>+2 b !re appe>$ no?+ v rem>kable1 till ne> ! close ( my disc\rse2 & !n div9e tru?s 7 att5d$ ) a surpris+ influ5ce4 ,!re 0 sc>ce ?ree 9 =ty t c\ld refra9 f te>s & bitt] cries4 ,!y all z "o1 seem$ 9 an agony ( s\l to obta9 an int]e/ 9 ,*ri/2 & ! m ,i disc\rs$ ( ! love ( ,god 9 s5d+ 8 ,son to suff] = ! s9s ( m52 & ! m ,i invit$ !m to come & p>take ( 8 love1 ! m _! di/ress 0 aggravat$4 ,x 0 surpris+ to see h[ _! he>ts 7 pi]c$ ) ! t5d] invitations ( ! gospel1 :5 !re 0 n a ^w ( t]ror spok5 to !m4 99,!re 7 ?is day two p]sons t obta9$ com=t1 :i* appe>$ solid1 rational1 & scriptural4 ,aft] ,i _h enquir$ into ! gr\nds ( _! com=t1 ,i ask$ :at !y want$ ,god to d fur!r = !m8 ,!y repli$1 8,!y want$ ,*ri/ %\ld wipe _! he>ts q clean40 99,augu/ #g4 ,i prea*$ to ! ,indians f ,isaiah liii4 #caj4 ,!re 0 a rem>kable influ5ce att5d+ ! ^w4 ,mo/ 7 mu* affect$1 & _m 9 great di/ress2 & "s c\ld nei!r g nor /&1 b lay flat on ! gr\nd1 z if pi]c$ at he>t1 cry+ incessantly = m]cy3 sev]al 7 newly awak5$1 & x 0 rem>kable1 t z fa/ z !y came f remote places r\nd ab\t1 ! ,_s ( ,god seem$ to seize !m4 ,aft] public s]vice ,i f\nd two p]sons m t _h newly met ) com=t1 ( :om ,i _h good hopes2 & a ?ird t ,i c\ld n b ent]ta9 "s hopes (1 s t "h 7 n[ six 9 all t _h got "s relief f _! spiritual di/resses1 & five ^: exp]i5ce appe>$ cle> & satisfactory4 ,augu/ #h4 ,9 ! aft]noon ,i prea*$ to ! ,indians1 _! numb] 0 n[ ab\t sixty-five p]sons1 m51 wom51 & *ildr54 ,i disc\rs$ f ,luke xiv4 #afbc1 & 0 fav\r$ ) uncommon fre$om4 ,!re 0 mu* conc]n among !m :ile ,i 0 disc\rs+ publicly2 b aft]w>ds :5 ,i spoke to "o & ano!r m p>ticul>ly1 ! p[] ( ,god seem$ to desc5d ^u ! assembly 8l a ru%+ mighty w9d10 & ) an a/oni%+ en]gy bore d[n all be=e x4 99,i /ood amaz$ at ! influ5ce t seiz$ ! audi5ce almo/ univ]sally1 & c\ld comp>e x to no?+ m aptly ?an a mighty torr5t1 t be>s d[n & sweeps be=e x :atev] is 9 its way4 ,almo/ all p]sons ( all ages 7 b[$ d[n toge!r1 & sc>ce "o 0 able to )/& ! %ock ( ?is surpris+ op]ation4 ,old m5 & wom51 :o _h be5 drunk5 wret*es = _m ye>s1 & "s little *ildr51 n m ?an six or sev5 ye>s ( age1 appe>$ 9 di/ress = _! s\ls1 z well z p]sons ( middle age4 ,& x 0 app>5t ^! *ildr5 7 n m]ely fright$ ) see+ ! g5]al conc]n2 b 7 made s5sible ( _! dang]1 ! badness ( _! he>ts1 & _! mis]y )\t ,*ri/4 ,! mo/ /ubborn he>ts 7 n[ oblig$ to b[4 ,a pr9cipal man among ! ,indians1 :o be=e ?\ght 8 /ate good1 because he knew m ?an ! g5]ality ( ! ,indians1 & :o ) great confid5ce ! day be=e1 told me1 8he _h be5 a ,*ri/ian m ?an t5 ye>s10 0 n[ br\ght "u solemn conc]n = 8 s\l1 & wept bitt]ly4 ,ano!r man consid]able 9 ye>s1 :o _h be5 a murd]]1 a p[w[1 & a notori\s drunk>d1 0 likewise br\ght n[ to cry = m]cy ) _m te>s1 & to compla9 mu* t he c\ld be no m conc]n$ :5 he saw 8 dang] s great4 99,!y 7 almo/ univ]sally pray+ & cry+ = m]cy 9 e "p ( ! h\se1 & _m out ( doors1 & numb]s c\ld nei!r g nor /&3 _! conc]n 0 s great1 ea* = himself1 t none seem$ to take any notice ( ^? ab\t !m1 b ea* pray$ = !mselves2 & 71 to _! own appreh5sion1 z mu* retir$ z if e "o _h be5 by himself 9 a des]t1 or1 r1 !y ?\ght no?+ ab\t any b !mselves1 & s 7 e "o pray+ ap>t1 al?\gh all toge!r4 ,x seem$ to me !re 0 n[ an exact fulfilm5t ( t prophecy1 ,ze*>iah xii4 #aj1 #aa1 #ab4 = !re 0 n[ 8a great m\rn+1 l ! m\rn+ ( ,hadadrimmon20& ea* seem$ to 8m\rn ap>t40 ,me?\ght ?is _h a ne> resemblance to ! day ( ,god's p[]1 m5tion$ ,jo%ua x4 #ad4 = ,i mu/ say1 ,i nev] saw any day l x 9 all respects2 x 0 a day :]e9 ! ,"l did mu* de/roy ! k+dom ( d>kness among ?is p4 ,?is conc]n 0 mo/ rational & j2 ^? :o _h be5 awak5$ any consid]able "t1 compla9$ especially ( ! badness ( _! he>ts2 ^? newly awak5$1 ( ! badness ( _! lives & actions2 & all 7 afraid ( ! ang] ( ,god1 & ( ev]la/+ mis]y z ! des]t ( _! s9s4 ,"s ( ! :ite p1 :o came out ( curiosity to 8he> :at ?is babbl] w\ld say0 to ! poor ignorant ,indians1 7 mu* awak5$1 & appe>$ to be w\nd$ ) a view ( _! p]i%+ /ate4 ,^? :o lately obta9$ relief1 7 fill$ ) com=t2 !y appe>$ calm & rejoic$ 9 ,*ri/ ,jesus2 & "s ( !m took _! di/ress$ fri5ds by ! h&1 tell+ !m ( ! goodness ( ,*ri/1 & ! com=t t is to be enjoy$ 9 him1 & invit$ !m to come & give up _! he>ts to him4 ,& ,i c\ld obs]ve "s ( !m1 9 ! mo/ unaffect$ mann]1 lift+ up _! eyes to heav51 z if cry+ = m]cy1 :ile !y saw ! di/ress ( ! poor s\ls ar\nd !m4 99,!re 0 "o rem>kable in/ance ?is day1 t ,i _c b take p>ticul> notice (4 ,a "y ,indian woman1 :o1 ,i believe1 nev] knew be=e %e _h a s\l1 he>+ t !re 0 some?+ /range among ! ,indians1 came 7x seems7 to see :at 0 ! matt]4 ,i _h n proce$$ f> 9 my disc\rse1 be=e %e felt effectually t %e _h a s\l3 & be=e ,i _h conclud$1 0 s conv9c$ ( h] s9 & mis]y1 & s di/ress$ ) conc]n = h] s\l1 t %e seem$ l "o pi]c$ ?r\gh ) a d>t1 & cri$ out incessantly4 ,%e c\ld nei!r g nor /&1 nor sit on h] seat )\t be+ held up4 ,aft] public s]vice 0 ov]1 %e lay flat on ! gr\nd pray+ e>ne/ly1 & w\ld take no notice (1 nor give any answ] to any t spoke to h]1 ,i he>k5$ to he> :at %e said1 & p]ceiv$ ! burd5 ( h] pray] to be1 ,guttummaukalummeh we*aumeh kmeleh ,ndah1 i4 e4 8,h m]cy on me1 & help me to give y my he>t40 ,& ?us %e cont9u$ pray+ incessantly = _m h\rs4 ,augu/ #i4 ,i sp5t almo/ ! :ole day ) ! ,indians1 ! =m] "p ( x 9 disc\rs+ ) !m privately1 especially "s :o lately receiv$ com=t1 & endeav\r+ to inquire into ! gr\nds ( x1 z well z to give !m "s prop] in/ructions1 cautions1 & directions4 ,9 ! aft]noon ,i disc\rs$ to !m publickly4 ,!re 7 n[ pres5t ab\t sev5ty p]sons4 ,i op5$ & appli$ ! p>able ( ! s[]1 & 0 enabl$ to disc\rse ) mu* pla9ness4 ,!re 7 _m te>s among !m :ile ,i 0 disc\rs+1 b no consid]able cry3 yet "s 7 mu* affect$ ) a few words spok5 f ,mat!w xi4 #bh4 ) :i* ,i conclud$4 ,b :ile ,i 0 disc\rs+ ne> night to two or ?ree ( ! awak5$ p]sons1 a div9e influ5ce seem$ to att5d :at 0 spok51 :i* caus$ ! p]sons to cry out 9 angui% ( s\l1 al?\gh ,i spoke n a ^w ( t]ror2 b1 on ! contr>y1 set be=e !m ! fulness ( ,*ri/'s m]its1 & 8 will+ness to save all t came to him4 99,! cry ( ^! 0 he>d by o!rs1 :o1 ?\gh scatt]$ be=e1 imm$iately ga!r$ r\nd4 ,i !n proce$$ 9 ! same /ra9 ( gospel invitation1 till !y 7 all melt$ into te>s & cries1 except two or ?ree2 & seem$ 9 ! greate/ di/ress to f9d & secure an int]e/ 9 ! great ,r$eem]4,"s :o _h b little m ?an a ruffle made 9 _! passions ! day be=e1 seem$ n[ to be deeply affect$3 & ! conc]n 9 g5]al appe>$ ne> z preval5t z ! day be=e4 ,!re 0 inde$ a v great m\rn+ among !m & yet e "o seem$ to m\rn ap>t4 ,= s great 0 _! conc]n1 t almo/ e "o 0 pray+ & cry+ = himself1 z if none _h be5 ne>1 ,guttummaukalummeh1 guttummaukalummeh1 i4 e4 8,h m]cy ^u me1 h m]cy ^u me20 0 ! common cry4 ,x 0 v affect+ to see ! poor ,indians1 :o ! o!r day 7 yell+ 9 _! idolatr\s fea/s1 n[ cry+ to ,god ) su* importunity1 = an int]e/ 9 8 de> ,son6 ,i f\nd two or ?ree :o ,i hope _h tak5 com=t ^u good gr\nds s9ce ! ev5+ be=e2 & ^!1 ) o!rs t _h obta9$ com=t1 7 toge!r1 & seem$ to rejoice mu* t ,god 0 c>ry+ on 8 "w ) su* p[] ^u o!rs4 ,augu/ #aj4 ,i began to disc\rse privately ) ^? :o _h obta9$ com=t3 endeav\r+ to in/ruct1 direct1 caution1 & com=t !m4 ,b o!rs be+ eag] ( he>+ e ^w t relat$ to spiritual conc]ns1 soon came toge!r "o aft] ano!r3 & :5 ,i _h disc\rs$ to ! "y conv]ts m ?an half an h\r1 !y seem$ mu* melt$ ) div9e ?+s1 & e>ne/ly desir\s to be ) ,*ri/4 ,:5 ,i _h sp5t "s "t ) ^!1 ,i turn$ to ! o!r ,indians1 & spoke to !m f ,luke xix4 #aj4 ,i _h n disc\rs$ long be=e _! conc]n rose to a great degree1 & ! h\se 0 fill$ ) cries & groans4 ,& :5 ,i insi/$ on ! compassion & c>e ( ! ,"l ,jesus ,*ri/ = ^? t 7 lo/1 & c\ld f9d no way ( escape1 ?is melt$ !m d[n ! m1 & aggravat$ _! di/ress1 t !y c\ld n come to s k9d a ,savi\r4 ,sundry p]sons1 :o be=e _h be5 b slightly awak5$1 7 n[ deeply w\nd$4 ,& "o man 9 p>ticul>1 :o 0 nev] be=e awak5$1 0 n[ made to feel1 t 8! ^w ( ! ,"l 0 quick & p[]ful1 %>p] ?an any two-edg$ sword40 ,he seem$ to be pi]c$ to ! he>t1 & said1 8all ! wick$ness ( 8 pa/ life 0 br\ght fre% to 8 remembrance1 & he saw all ! vile actions he _h done =m]ly1 z if done b ye/]day40 ,i f\nd "o t _h newly receiv$ com=t1 aft] press+ di/ress4 ,i c\ld n b admire ! div9e goodness4 ,!re seems to be "s good done by e disc\rse1 "s newly awak5$ e day1 & "s com=t$4 ,"l's-day1 ,augu/ #aa4 ,i disc\rs$ ^u "p ( ,/4 ,pet]'s s]mon1 ,acts ii4 & at ! close ( my disc\rse to ! ,indians1 made an address to ! :ite p1 & div9e tru?s seem$ to be att5d$ ) p[] bo? to ! ,engli% & ,indians4 ,sev]al ( ! :ite ,hea!n 7 awak5$1 & c\ld no long] be idle spectators1 b f\nd !y _h s\ls to save z well z ! ,indians1 & a great conc]n spread ?r\gh ! :ole assembly1 s t ?is also appe>$ to be a day ( ,god's p[]4 ,! numb] ( ! ,indians1 old & "y1 0 n[ upw>ds ( sev5ty1 & "o or two 7 newly awak5$ ?is day1 :o nev] appe>$ to be mov$ be=e4 ,^? t _h obta9$ com=t1 & _h giv5 evid5ces1 ( a sav+ *ange1 appe>$ humble & dev\t1 & behav$ 9 an agreeable & ,*ri/ian mann]4 ,i 0 refre%$ to see ! t5d]ness ( consci5ce manife/ 9 "s ( !m4 99,p]ceiv+ "o ( !m v sorr[ful 9 ! morn+1 ,i enquir$ into ! cause ( h] sorr[1 & f\nd %e _h be5 angry ) h] *ild ! ev5+ be=e1 & 0 9 fe> le/ h] ang] _h be5 inord9ate1 :i* s griev$ h]1 t %e wak$ & began to sob be=e daylight1 & cont9u$ weep+ = sev]al h\rs toge!r4 ,augu/ #ad4 ,i sp5t ! day ) ! ,indians4 ,!re 0 "o ( !m :o _h "s "t s9ce put away 8 wife1 7z is common among !m7 & tak5 ano!r woman1 & be+ n[ br\ght "u "s s]i\s impressions1 0 e>ne/ly desir\s to "k :at ,god w\ld h him d4 ,:5 ! law ( ,god respect+ m>riage _h be5 op5$ to !m1 & ! cause ( 8 leav+ 8 wife enquir$ into2 & :5 x appe>$ %e _h giv5 him no j occasion by un*a/ity to des]t h]1 & t %e 0 will+ to =give 8 pa/ misconduct1 he 0 !n told1 t x 0 8 indisp5sable duty to r5\nce ! woman he _h la/ tak51 & receive ! o!r :o 0 8 prop] wife2 ) :i* he *e>fully compli$1 & !reupon publicly r5\nc$ ! woman he _h la/ tak51 & publicly promis$ to live ) 8 wife dur+ life4,& "h appe>$ a cle> demon/ration ( ! p[] ( ,god's ^w ^u _! he>ts4 ,a few weeks be=e ! :ole _w c\ld n h p]suad$ him to a compliance ) ,*ri/ian rules 9 ?is affair4 ,augu/ #ae4 ,i prea*$ f ,luke iv4 #afba4 ,! ^w 0 att5d$ ) p[] ^u ! he>ts ( ! he>]s4 ,!re 0 mu* conc]n1 _m te>s1 & affect+ cries among !m1 & "s 7 deeply w\nd$4 ,!re 7 "s newly awak5$1 & convictions seem$ to be promot$ 9 o!rs4,^? t _h receiv$ com=t1 7 likewise refre%$ & /r5g!n$1 & ! "w ( grace appe>$ to advance 9 all respects4 ,augu/ #af4 ,i sp5t a consid]able "t 9 conv]s+ privately ) sundry ( ! ,indians4 ,i f\nd "o t _h com=t1 aft] press+ conc]n1 & c\ld n b hope1 :5 ,i disc\rs$ ) h]1 t h] com=t 0 ( ! "r k9d4 ,9 ! aft]noon t[>d ! close ( my disc\rse1 div9e tru?s 7 att5d$ ) consid]able p[] ^u ! audi5ce1 & m especially aft] public s]vice 0 ov]1 :5 ,i p>ticul>ly address$ ! di/ress$ p]sons4 ,!re 0 a great conc]n = _! s\ls spread g5]ally among !m3 b especially !re 7 two p]sons newly awak5$1 "o ( :om 0 lately come1 & ! o!r _h all along be5 v att5tive1 b c\ld nev] be=e h any lively view ( h] p]i%+ /ate4 ,b n[ h] spiritual di/ress 0 su*1 t ,i _h nev] se5 any m press+4 ,sundry old m5 7 also 9 di/ress = _! s\ls2 s t !y c\ld n refra9 f weep+ & cry+ out al\d1 & _! bitt] groans 7 ! mo/ conv9c+1 z well z affect+ evid5ce ( ! dep? ( _! inw>d angui%4,god is p[]fully at "w among !m6 ,true & g5u9e convictions ( s9 are daily promot$ 9 _m in/ances1 & "s are newly awak5$ f "t to "t4 ,augu/ #ag4 ,i sp5t mu* "t 9 private conf]5ces ) ! ,indians4 ,i f\nd "o :o _h newly obta9$ com=t1 aft] a long season ( spiritual di/ress1 7he 0 "o ( my he>]s 9 ! ,=ks ( ,delaw>e = m ?an a ye>1 & n[ foll[$ me hi!r "u deep conc]n7 & ,i _h abundant reason to hope t 8 com=t 0 well gr\nd$4 ,friday1 ,augu/ #bc4 ,i sp5t "s "t ) ! ,indians 9 private disc\rse2 & aft]w>ds prea*$4 ,sev]al appe>$ deeply conc]n$ = _! s\ls1 & c\ld n b express _! inw>d angui% by te>s & cries4 ,b ! amaz+ influ5ce t has be5 s p[]fully among !m1 seems1 at pres5t 9 "s degree abat$4 ,augu/ #bd4 ,i sp5t ! =5oon 9 disc\rs+ to "s ( ! ,indians1 9 ord] to _! receiv+ ! ord9ance ( baptism4 ,:5 ,i _h op5$ ! nature ( ! ord9ance1 ! obligations att5d+ x1 ! duty ( devot+ ourselves to ,god 9 x1 & ! privilege ( be+ 9 cov5ant ) him1 sundry ( !m seem$ to be fill$ ) love to ,god1 & delight$ ) ! ?\ghts ( giv+ up !mselves to him 9 t solemn & public mann]4 ,aft]w>ds ,i disc\rs$ publicly f #a ,!ssalonians iv4 #acag4 ,!re 0 a solemn att5tion1 & visible conc]n 9 ! "t ( public s]vice1 :i* 0 aft]w>ds increas$ by "s fur!r exhortation giv5 !m to come to ,*ri/1 & give up _! he>ts to him1 t !y might be fitt$ to 8asc5d up & meet him 9 ! air40 ,!re 7 sev]al ,indians newly come1 :o ?\ght _! /ate good1 because !y _h liv$ ) ! :ite p1 al?\gh !y 7 altoge!r unacqua9t$ ) ! p[] ( religion4 ,) ^? ,i disc\rs$ p>ticul>ly aft] public wor%ip1 & 0 surpriz$ to see _! self-righte\s disposition1 & ! high value !y put ^u _! suppos$ atta9m5ts4 ,yet aft] mu* disc\rse1 "o appe>$ conv9c$1 t 8by ! de$s ( ! law no fle% liv+ %\ld be ju/ifi$10 & wept bitt]ly1 inquir+1 8:at he mu/ d to be sav$80 ,"l's-day1 ,augu/ #be4 ,i prea*$ 9 ! =5oon f ,luke xv4 #cg4 ,!re be+ a multitude ( :ite p pres5t1 ,i made an address to !m at ! close ( my disc\rse3 b c\ld n s mu* z keep !m ord]ly2 = scores ( !m kept walk+ & gaz+ ab\t1 & behav$ m indec5tly ?an any ,indians ,i ev] address$4 ,aft]w>ds ,i baptiz$ tw5ty-five p]sons ( ! ,indians1 fifte5 adults1 & t5 *ildr54 ,mo/ ( ! adults ,i h reason to hope are r5ew$ p]sons3 only ! case ( two or ?ree appe>$ m d\btful4 ,aft] ! cr\d ( spectators 0 gone1 ,i call$ ! baptiz$ p]sons toge!r1 & disc\rs$ to !m 9 p>ticul>1 m9d$ !m ( ! solemn obligations !y 7 n[ "u to live to ,god1 & enc\rag$ !m to wat*fulness & devotion1 by sett+ be=e !m ! com=t & happy conclusion ( a religi\s life4,?is 0 a sweet season6 ,_! he>ts 7 engag$ & *e>ful 9 duty1 & !y rejoic$ t !y _h 9 a public & solemn mann] d$icat$ !mselves to ,god4,love seem$ to reign among !m6 ,!y took ea* o!r by ! h& ) t5d]ness & affection1 z if _! he>ts 7 knit toge!r1 :ile ,i 0 disc\rs+ to !m3 & all _! deportm5t t[>ds ea* o!r 0 su*1 t a s]i\s spectator might ju/ly be excit$ to cry out ) admiration1 8,behold h[ !y love "o ano!r60 ,sundry ( ! o!r ,indians at see+ & he>+ ^! ?+s1 7 mu* affect$ & wept bitt]ly1 long+ to be p>tak]s ( ! same com=t t ^! discov]$ by _! c\nt5ances z well z conduct4 ,monday1 ,augu/ #bf4 ,i prea*$ f ,john vi4 #eaee4 ,aft] ,i _h disc\rs$ "s "t1 ,i address$ ^? 9 p>ticul> :o ent]ta9$ hopes t !y 7 8pass$ f dea? to life40 ,i op5$ to !m ! nature ( ^? consolations ,*ri/ gives 8 p1 %ew$ !m t su* h already ! 8beg9n+s ( et]nal life10 7v]se #ed47 & t _! heav5 %all be spe$ily complet$4 ,i no soon] begun to disc\rse1 b ! ,*ri/ians 9 ! congregation began to be melt$ ) affection to1 & desire ( ! enjoym5t ( ,*ri/1 & ( a /ate ( p]fect purity4 ,!y wept affectionately & yet joyfully1 & _! te>s & sobs discov]$ brok5ness ( he>t1 & yet 7 att5d$ ) com=t & sweetness2 s t ?is 0 a t5d]1 affectionate1 humble1 delightful1 melt+1 & appe>$ to be ! g5u9e effect ( ! _s ( adoption4 ,! influ5ce spread f ^! ?r\gh ! :ole assembly1 & !re quickly appe>$ a wond]ful conc]n among !m4 ,_m :o _h n yet f\nd ,*ri/1 7 surpris+ly engag$ 9 seek+ him4 ,_! numb] 0 n[ ab\t n9ety-five p]sons1 & almo/ all affect$ ei!r ) joy 9 ,*ri/1 or ) ! utmo/ conc]n to obta9 an int]e/ 9 him4 ,be+ conv9c$ x 0 n[ my duty to take a j\rney to ! ,indians on ,susquahannah riv]1 aft] hav+ sp5t "s h\rs 9 public & private disc\rses ) my p1 ,i told !m t ,i mu/ leave !m = ! pres5t1 & g to _! bre?r5 f> remote1 & prea* to !m2 t ,i want$ ! _s ( ,god %\ld g ) me1 )\t :om no?+ c\ld be done to any good purpose1 z !y !mselves _h _h an opportunity to see3 & ask$ !m if !y w\ld n sp5d ! rema9d] ( ! day 9 pray] = me1 t ,god w\ld g ) me1 & succe$ my endeav\rs4 99,!y *e>fully compli$1 & soon aft] ,i left !m 7! sun be+ !n ab\t an h\r & half high7 !y began & cont9u$ pray+ all night till break ( day1 nev] mi/ru/+ 7!y told me7 till !y w5t & saw ! morn+ /> a consid]able height1 t x 0 lat] ?an common b$ "t4 ,?is day an old ,indian1 :o has all 8 days be5 an ob/9ate idolat]1 0 br\ght to give up 8 rattles 7:i* !y use = music 9 _! idolatr\s fea/s & dances7 to ! o!r ,indians1 :o quickly de/roy$ !m2 & ?is )\t an attempt ( m9e 9 ! affair1 s t x 0 no?+ b ! p[] ( ,god's ^w1 )\t any p>ticul> application to ?is s91 t produc$ ?is effect4 ,?us ,god has begun1 ?us he has hi!rto c>ri$ on a "w ( grace among ^! ,indians4 ,may ! glory be ascrib$ to him1 :o is ! sole au?or ( x6 ,! next day he set out on a j\rney t[>ds ! =ks ( ,delaw>e1 design+ to g f !nce to ,susquahannah1 be=e he return$ to ,crosweeksung4 ,x 0 five days f 8 dep>ture f ,crosweeksung1 be=e he rea*$ ! =ks1 go+ r\nd by ! way ( ,philadelphia1 & wait+ on ! gov]nor ( ,p5sylvania1 to get a recomm5dation f him to ! *iefs ( ! ,indians4 ,=ks ( ,delaw>e4 ,"l's-day1 ,septemb] #a4 ,i prea*$ to ! ,indians "h1 f ,luke xiv4 #afbc4 ,aft]w>ds ,i prea*$ to a numb] ( :ite p1 & obs]v$ _m ( !m 9 te>s1 & "s :o _h be5 =m]ly z c>eless & unconc]n$ ab\t religion z ! ,indians4 ,t[>ds night ,i disc\rs$ to ! ,indians aga9 & p]ceiv$ a great] att5tion1 & m visible conc]n among !m1 ?an has be5 usual 9 ^! p>ts4 ,septemb] #c4 ,i prea*$ to ! ,indians f ,isaiah liii4 #cf4 ,! div9e pres5ce seem$ to be 9 ! mid/ ( ! assembly1 & a consid]able conc]n spread among !m4 ,sundry p]sons seem$ to be awak5$1 among :om 7 two /upid creatures1 t ,i c\ld sc>ce ev] be=e keep awake :ile ,i 0 disc\rs+ to !m4 8awake0 replac$ ) 8keep awake0 p] ,errata ,w$nesday1 ,septemb] #d4 ,i rode #ae miles to an ,iri% settlem5t1 & prea*$ !re f ,luke xiv4 #bb4 8& yet !re is room40 ,god 0 pleas$ to af=d me "s t5d]ness & enl>gem5t 9 ! fir/ pray]1 & mu* fre$om1 z well z w>m? 9 ! s]mon4 ,!re 7 _m te>s 9 ! assembly3 ! p ( ,god seem$ to melt1 & o!rs to be 9 "s measure awak5$4 ,bless$ be ! ,"l1 t lets me see 8 "w go+ on 9 "o place & ano!r4 ,septemb] #e4 ,i disc\rs$ to ! ,indians f ! p>able ( ! s[]1 & aft]w>ds conv]s$ p>ticul>ly ) sundry p]sons1 :i* occasion$ !m to weep1 & ev5 to cry out 9 an affect+ mann]1 & seiz$ o!rs ) surprise & conc]n4 ,sev]al ( ^! _h be5 ) me to ,crosweeksung1 & "s ( !m felt ! p[] ( ,god's ^w4 ,i ask$ "o ( !m :y he cri$8 ,he repli$1 8,:5 he ?\ght h[ ,*ri/ 0 sla9 l a lamb & spilt 8 blood = s9n]s1 he c\ld n help cry+30 & !reupon bur/ into te>s & cries aga94 ,i !n ask$ 8 wife1 :o likewise _h be5 abundantly com=t$1 :]e=e %e cri$8 ,%e answ]$1 8,%e 0 griev$ t ! ,indians "h w\ld n come to ,*ri/1 z well z ^? at ,crosweeksung40 ,i ask$ h] if %e f\nd a he>t to pray = !m1 & :e!r ,*ri/ _h be5 ne> to h] ( late 9 pray]1 z 9 "t pa/8 7:i* is my usual me?od ( express+ a s5se ( ! div9e pres5ce47 ,%e repli$1 8,yes1 he _h be5 ne> to h]2 & t at sometimes :5 %e _h be5 pray+ alone1 h] he>t lov$ to pray s1 t %e c\ld n be> to leave ! place1 b want$ to /ay & pray long]40 ,"l's-day1 ,septemb] #h4 ,i disc\rs$ to ! ,indians1 =5oon & aft]noon4 ,! ^w ( ,god seem$ to fall ) weight & influ5ce ^u !m4 ,!re 7 b few pres5t1 b mo/ t 71 7 9 te>s1 & sundry cri$ out "u di/ress+ conc]n = _! s\ls4 ,!re 0 "o man awak5$1 :o nev] be=e discov]$ any conc]n = 8 s\l4 ,!re appe>$ a rem>kable "w ( ! ,_s1 n unlike :at _h be5 at ,crosweeksung4 ,x seem$ z if ! div9e influ5ce _h spread f !nce to ?is place4 ,sundry ( ! c>eless :ite p n[ pres5t 7 />tl$ see+ ! p[] ( ,god s preval5t among ! ,indians4 ,i !n made a p>ticul> address to !m1 :i* seem$ to make "s impression ^u !m4 ,9 ! ev5+ ,god 0 pleas$ to enl>ge me 9 pray]1 & give me fre$om at ! ?rone ( grace2 ,i cri$ to ,god = ! enl>gem5t ( 8 k+dom1 p>ticul>ly among my de> p3 & = _m de> m9i/]s ( my acqua9tance1 bo? 9 ^! p>ts & 9 ,new-,engl&4 ,& my s\l 0 s engag$ 9 t sweet ex]cise1 t ,i knew n h[ to leave ! m]cy seat4 ,i saw ,god 0 bo? able & will+ to d all t ,i desir$4 ,& :5 ,i 0 go+ to b$1 ,god help$ me to r5ew my petitions ) ard5cy & fre$om4 ,monday1 ,septemb] #i4 ,i left ! ,=ks ( ,delaw>e1 & set out = ,susquahannah-riv]1 direct+ my c\rse t[>ds ! ,indian-t[n m ?an an hundr$ & tw5ty miles we/w>d f ! ,=ks4 ,septemb] #ac4 ,aft] hav+ lodg$ out ?ree nights ,i came to ! ,indian-t[n on ,susquahannah call$ ,%aumok+1 7"o ( ! places ,i visit$ 9 ,may la/17 & 0 k9dly receiv$ by ! ,indians2 b _h little satisfaction by reason ( ! hea!ni% dance !y held 9 ! h\se :]e ,i 0 oblig$ to lodge1 :i* ,i c\ld n suppress1 ?\gh ,i (t5 intreat$ !m to desi/1 = ! sake ( "o :o 0 sick 9 ! h\se4 8at0 replac$ ) 8,i came to0 p] ,errata ,?is t[n lies p>tly on ! ea/ side ( ! riv]1 p>tly on ! we/1 & p>tly on a l>ge isl& 9 x1 & conta9s upw>ds ( fifty h\ses1 & ne> ?ree hundr$ p]sons3 b ( ?ree diff]5t tribes1 speak+ ?ree languages :olly un9telligible to ea* o!r4 ,ab\t "o half ( its inhabitants are ,delaw>es1 ! o!rs call$ ,s5akas1 & ,tutelas4 ,! ,indians ( ?is place are c\nt$ ! mo/ drunk51 mis*iev\s1 & ruffianly fell[s ( any 9 ^! p>ts2 & ,satan seems to h 8 seat 9 ?is t[n 9 an em95t mann]4 ,saturday1 ,septemb] #ad4 ,i visit$ ! ,delaw>e k+1 7:o 0 suppos$ to be at ! po9t ( dea? :5 ,i 0 "h 9 ,may1 b 0 n[ recov]$17 disc\rs$ ) him & o!rs respect+ ,*ri/ianity1 & _h m enc\ragem5t ?an ,i expect$4 ,! k+ appe>$ will+ to be in/ruct$2 ?is gave me "s hope1 t ,god w\ld op5 an effectual door = my prea*+ ! gospel "h4 ,?is 0 a refre%m5t to me 9 ! wild]ness1 & r5d]$ my solit>y circum/ances com=table4 99,9 ! ev5+ my s\l 0 enl>g$ 9 pray]2 especially1 t ,god w\ld set up 8 k+dom 9 ?is place4 ,my s\l cri$1 8,"l1 set up ?y k+dom1 = ?9e own glory4 ,glorify ?yself2 & ,i %all rejoice4 ,get hon\r to ?y bless$ "n2 & ?is is all ,i desire4 ,d ) me j :at ?\ wilt4 ,bless$ be ?y "n = ev]1 t ?\ art ,god1 & t ?\ wilt glorify ?yself4 ,o t ! :ole _w might glorify !e6 ,o let ^! poor p be br\ght to "k !e1 & love !e1 = ! glory ( ?y ev]-bless$ "n60 ,"l's-day1 ,septemb] #ae4 ,i visit$ ! *ief ( ! ,delaw>es aga92 & disc\rs$ to ! ,indians 9 ! aft]noon4 ,i /ill hop$ t ,god w\ld op5 _! he>ts to receive ! gospel1 ?\gh _m ( !m 7 s drunk f day to day1 t ,i c\ld get no opportunity to speak to !m4 ,septemb] #af4 ,i sp5t ! =5oon ) ! ,indians1 endeav\r+ to in/ruct !m f h\se to h\se1 & to engage !m1 to be fri5dly to ,*ri/ianity4 ,t[>ds night ,i w5t to a "p ( ! t[n :]e !y 7 sob]1 & got toge!r ne> fifty p]sons ( !m4,!re 0 a surpris+ att5tion among !m1 & !y manife/$ a desire ( be+ fur!r in/ruct$4 ,!re 0 also "o or two t seem$ to be t\*$1 & appe>$ pleas$ ) "s conv]sation 9 private1 aft] ,i _h conclud$ my public disc\rse4 ,my spirits 7 mu* refre%$1 & ,i c\ld n b return ) my int]pret] 7hav+ no o!r companion 9 ?is j\rney7 to my poor h>d lodg+s1 rejoic+ 9 hopes t ,god design$ to set up 8 k+dom "h1 & f\nd uncommon fre$om 9 address+ ! ?rone ( grace = ! accompli%m5t ( s glori\s a "w4 ,septemb] #ag4 ,i sp5t ! =5oon 9 disc\rs+ to ! ,indians4 ,ab\t noon ,i left ,%aumok+1 7mo/ ( ! ,indians go+ out ?is day to hunt17 & travell$ d[n ! riv] s\?-we/w>d4 ,septemb] #ai4 ,i visit$ an ,indian t[n call$ ,juneauta1 situate on an isl& 9 ,susquahannah4 ,i 0 mu* disc\rag$ ) ! behavi\r ( ! ,indians "h4 ,al?\gh !y appe>$ fri5dly :5 ,i 0 ) !m la/ spr+2 yet !y n[ seem$ resolv$ to reta9 _! ,pagan notions1 & p]si/ 9 _! idolatr\s practices4 ,septemb] #bj4 ,i visit$ ! ,indians aga9 at ,juneauta isl&1 & f\nd !m busy 9 mak+ prep>ations = a great sacrifice & dance4 ,s ,i _h no opportunity to get !m toge!r 9 ord] to disc\rse ab\t ,*ri/ianity4 ,my spirits 7 mu* sunk1 especially see+ ,i _h n[ no int]pret] b a ,pagan1 :o 0 z mu* atta*$ to idolatry z any ( !m4 ,h[ev]1 ,i disc\rs$ privately ) "s ( !m1 b )\t any appe>ance ( success4 ,9 ! ev5+ !y met toge!r1 ne> an hundr$ ( !m1 & danc$ r\nd a l>ge fire1 hav+ prep>$ t5 fat de] = ! sacrifice4 ,! fat ( ! inw>ds !y burnt 9 ! fire :ile !y 7 danc+1 & sometimes rais$ ! flame to a prodigi\s height1 at ! same "t yell+ & %\t+ 9 su* a mann]1 t !y might h be5 he>d two miles or m4 ,!y cont9u$ _! sacr$ dance all night2 aft] :i* !y eat ! fle% ( ! sacrifice1 & retir$ ea* to 8 lodg+4 ,i enjoy$ little satisfaction ?is night1 be+ entirely alone on ! isl&1 7z to any ,*ri/ian company17 & hav+ walk$ to & fro' till body & m9d 7 mu* oppress$1 ,i at l5g? crept into a little crib made = corn1 & !re slept on ! poles4 99,"l's-day1 ,septemb] #ba4 ,i sp5t ! day ) ! ,indians on ! isl&4 ,z soon z !y 7 up1 ,i attempt$ to in/ruct !m1 & lab\r$ to get !m toge!r1 b quickly f\nd !y _h some?+ else to d2 = !y ga!r$ toge!r all _! p[w[s1 7or conjur]s17 & set ab\t half a doz5 ( !m to play+ _! tricks1 & act+ _! frantic po/ures1 9 ord] to f9d out :y !y 7 s sickly1 numb]s ( !m be+ at t "t disord]$ ) a fev]1 & bloody flux4 ,9 ?is !y 7 engag$ = sev]al h\rs1 mak+ all ! wild di/ract$ motions imag9able3 sometimes s++2 sometimes h[l+2 sometimes ext5d+ _! h&s to ! utmo/ /ret*1 spread+ all _! f+]s1 & seem$ to pu% ) !m1 z if !y design$ to fright some?+ away1 or at lea/ keep x (f at arms-end2 sometimes /rok+ _! faces ) _! h&s1 !n spurt+ wat] z f9e z mi/2 sometimes sitt+ flat on ! e>?1 !n b[+ d[n _! faces to ! gr\nd2 wr++ _! sides1 z if 9 pa9 & angui%3 twi/+ _! faces1 turn+ up _! eyes1 grunt+1 or puff+4 99,_! mon/r\s actions seem$ to h some?+ 9 !m peculi>ly suit$ to raise ! devil1 if he c\ld be rais$ by any ?+ odd & frightful4 ,"s ( !m 7 mu* m f]v5t 9 ! bus9ess ?an o!rs1 & seem$ to *ant1 peep1 & mutt] ) a great degree ( w>m? & vig\r4 ,i sat ab\t ?irty feet f !m1 7?\gh undiscov]$7 ) my bible 9 my h&1 resolv+1 if possible1 to spoil _! sport1 & prev5t _! receiv+ any answ]s f ! inf]nal _w4 ,!y cont9u$ _! hide\s *>ms = m ?an ?ree h\rs1 until !y _h all we>i$ !mselves out1 al?\gh !y _h tak5 sundry int]vals ( re/3 & at l5g? broke up1 ,i appreh5d$1 )\t receiv+ any answ]4 ,aft] !y _h done p[w[+1 ,i attempt$ to disc\rse ) !m ab\t ,*ri/ianity2 b !y soon scatt]$1 & gave no opportunity4 ,a view ( ^! ?+s1 :ile ,i 0 de/itute ( ! society ( any "o t s mu* z 8nam$ ! "n ( ,*ri/10 greatly sunk my spirits1 s t ,i _h no he>t nor p[] to make any fur!r attempts among !m4 ,! ,indians ( ?is isl& _m ( !m und]/& ,engli%1 hav+ =m]ly liv$ 9 ,m>yl& ne> ! :ite p1 b are v vici\s1 drunk51 & pr(ane1 al?\gh n s savage z ^? :o h less acqua9tance ) ! ,engli%4 ,_! me?od ( *>m+ ov] ! sick1 seems some:at diff]5t f t ( o!r ,indians3 & ! :ole ( x p]haps is an imitation ( :at seems1 by ,naaman's expression1 #b ,k+s v4 #aa4 to h be5 ! cu/om ( ! anci5t ,hea!ns4 ,= x seems *iefly to consi/ 9 _! 8/rik+ _! h&s ov] ! diseas$10 repeat$ly /rok+ ( !m1 8& call+ ^u _! gods10 except+ ! spurt+ ( wat]1 & "s o!r frantic c]emonies common to ! o!r conjurations4 99,:5 ,i 0 9 ^! p>ts 9 ,may la/1 ,i _h an opportunity ( le>n+ _m ( ! cu/oms ( ! ,indians3 ,i !n travell+ m ?an an hundr$ & ?irty miles ^u ! riv] above ! ,engli% settlem5ts2 & _h 9 t j\rney a view ( p]sons ( sev5 or eight di/9ct tribes1 speak+ s _m diff]5t languages4 ,b ( all ! sights ,i ev] saw among !m1 none appe>$ s ne> a-k9 to :at is usually imag9$ ( inf]nal p[]s1 z ! appe>ance ( "o :o 0 a dev\t & zeal\s re=m]1 or r re/or]1 ( :at he suppos$ 0 ! anci5t religion ( ! ,indians4 ,he made 8 appe>ance 9 8 pontifical g>b1 :i* 0 a coat ( be> sk9s1 dress$ ) ! hair on1 & hang+ d[n to 8 toes1 a pair ( be>-sk9 /ock+s1 & a great wood5 face1 pa9t$ ! "o half black & ! o!r tawny1 ab\t ! col\r ( an ,indian's sk91 ) an extravagant m\?1 cut v mu* awry2 ! face fa/5$ to a be>-sk9 cap1 :i* 0 drawn ov] 8 head4 ,he advanc$ t[>d me ) ! in/rum5t 9 8 h& t he us$ = music 9 8 idolatr\s wor%ip :i* 0 a dry tortoise-%ell1 ) "s corn 9 x1 & ! neck ( x drawn on a piece ( wood1 :i* made a v conv5i5t h&le4 ,z he came =w>d1 he beat 8 tune ) ! rattle1 & danc$ ) all 8 might1 b did n suff] any "p ( 8 body1 n s mu* z 8 f+]s1 to be se53 & no man w\ld h guess$1 by 8 appe>ance1 t he c\ld h be5 a human creature4 ,:5 he came ne> me1 ,i c\ld n b %r9k away f him1 al?\gh x 0 !n noon day1 & ,i knew :o x 04 ,he _h a h\se consecrat$ to religi\s uses1 ) div]s images cut out ^u ! sev]al p>ts ( x2 ,i w5t 9 & f\nd ! gr\nd beat almo/ z h>d z a rock ) _! frequ5t danc+4,i disc\rs$ ) him ab\t ,*ri/ianity1 & "s ( my disc\rse he seem$ to l1 b "s ( x he dislik$ entirely4 ,he told me t ,god _h taught him 8 religion1 & t he nev] w\ld turn f x1 b want$ to f9d "s t w\ld jo9 he>tily ) him 9 x2 = ! ,indians1 he said1 7 gr[n v deg5]ate4 ,he _h ?\ghts1 he said1 ( leav+ all 8 fri5ds1 & travell+ abroad1 9 ord] to f9d "s t w\ld jo9 ) him2 = he believ$ ,god _h "s good p "s :]e1 t felt z he did4 ,he _h n always1 he said1 felt z he n[ did1 b _h =m]ly be5 l ! re/ ( ! ,indians1 until ab\t f\r or five ye>s ago3 !n1 he said1 8 he>t 0 v mu* di/ress$1 s t he c\ld n live among ! ,indians1 b got away into ! woods1 & liv$ alone = "s mon?s4 ,at l5g?1 he says1 ,god %ew$ him :at he %\ld d2 & s9ce t "t he _h kn[n ,god1 & tri$ to s]ve him2 & lov$ all m51 be !y :o !y w\ld1 s z he nev] did be=e4,he treat$ me ) uncommon c\rtesy1 & seem$ to be he>ty 9 x4,& ,i 0 told by ! ,indians1 t he oppos$ _! dr9k+ /rong liquor ) all 8 p[]2 & if at any "t he c\ld n dissuade !m f x1 he w\ld leave !m1 & g cry+ into ! woods4 ,x 0 manife/ he _h a set ( religi\s notions t he _h look$ into = himself1 & n tak5 = grant$ ^u b>e tradition2 & he reli%$ or disreli%$ :atev] 0 spok5 ( a religi\s nature1 accord+ z x ei!r agre$ or disagre$ ) 8 /&>d4 ,& :ile ,i 0 disc\rs+ he w\ld sometimes say1 8,n[ t ,i l3 s ,god has taught me40 ,& "s ( 8 s5tim5ts seem$ v j4 ,yet he utt]ly d5i$ ! be+ ( a devil1 & decl>$ !re 0 no su* creature kn[n among ! ,indians ( old times4 ,he likewise told me1 t dep>t$ s\ls all w5t s\?w>d1 & t ! diff]5ce betwe5 ! good & bad 0 ?is1 t ! =m] 7 admitt$ into a beautiful t[n ) spiritual walls1 or walls agreeable to ! nature ( s\ls2 & t ! latt] w\ld = ev] hov] r\nd ^? walls1 & 9 va9 attempt to get 94 ,he seem$ to be s9c]e1 hone/1 & consci5ti\s 9 8 own way1 :i* 0 m ?an ,i ev] saw 9 any o!r ,pagan2 & ,i p]ceiv$ he 0 d]id$ among mo/ ( ! ,indians z a precise zealot4 ,i mu/ say1 !re 0 some?+ 9 8 temp] t look$ m l true religion ?an any ?+ ,i ev] obs]v$ among o!r ,hea!ns4 8pontificial0 replac$ ) 8pontifical0 ,septemb] #bb4 ,i made "s fur!r attempts to in/ruct ! ,indians on ?is isl&1 b all to no purpose4 ,!y live s ne> ! :ite p1 t !y are always 9 ! way ( /rong liquor1 z well z ! ill examples ( nom9al ,*ri/ians2 :i* r5d]s x unspeakably difficult to treat ) !m ab\t ,*ri/ianity4 8diffcult0 replac$ ) 8difficult0 ,on ,monday1 ,septemb] #bc4 ,he left ! ,indians1 9 ord] to 8 return to ! ,=ks ( ,delaw>e1 9 a v weak /ate ( body1 & "u dejection ( m9d1 :i* cont9u$ ! two fir/ days ( 8 j\rney4 ,?ursday1 ,septemb] #bf4 ,i 0 /ill mu* disord]$ 9 body1 & able to ride b sl[ly1 ,i cont9u$ my j\rney h[ev]4 ,ne> night ,i arriv$ at ! ,iri% settlem5t1 ab\t fifte5 miles f m9e own h\se4 ,?is day ,i 0 mu* ex]cis$ ) a s5se ( my b>r5ness3 & v]ily ?\ght1 !re 0 no creature t _h any true grace1 b :at 0 m spiritual & fruitful ?an ,i3 ,i c\ld n ?9k t any ( ,god's *ildr5 made s poor a h& ( liv+ to ,god z ,i4 ,=ks ( ,delaw>e4 ,octob] #a4 ,i disc\rs$ to ! ,indians "h1 & aft]w>ds invit$ !m to foll[ me to ,crosweeksung z soon z _! conv5i5cy w\ld admit2 :i* invitation sundry ( !m *e>fully accept$4 ,saturday1 ,octob] #e4 ,i prea*$ at ,crosweeksung1 f ,john xiv4 #af4 ,! div9e pres5ce seem$ to be 9 ! assembly4 ,numb]s 7 affect$1 & "s com=t$4 ,o :at a diff]5ce is !re betwe5 ^! & ! ,indians ^u ,susquahannah6 ,to be ) ^? seem$ l be+ bani%$ f ,god & all 8 p2 to be ) ^! l be+ admitt$ into 8 family1 & to ! enjoym5t ( 8 pres5ce6 ,h[ great is ! *ange made ^u ^! ,indians1 :o n _m mon?s ago 7 z av]se to ,*ri/ianity1 z ^? ^u ,susquahannah6 ,"l's-day1 ,octob] #f4 ,i prea*$ 9 ! =5oon f ,john x4 #gaa4 ,!re 0 a consid]able melt+ among my p2 ! "y ,*ri/ians 7 com=t$ & /r5g!n$1 & "o or two p]sons newly awak5$4 ,9 ! aft]noon ,i disc\rs$ on ! /ory ( ! jailor1 ,acts xvi4 & 9 ! ev5+ exp\nd$ ,acts xx4 #aab4 ,!re 0 at ?is "t a melt+ ?r\gh ! :ole assembly4 ,!re 0 sc>ce a dry eye to be se5 among !m1 & no?+ b :at t5d$ to excite a ,*ri/ian ard\r & _s ( devotion4 ,aft] public s]vice ,i )drew1 & ! ,indians cont9u$ pray+ among !mselves = ne> two h\rs toge!r2 :i* ex]cises appe>$ to be att5d$ ) a bless$ influ5ce f on high4 ,i c\ld n b e>ne/ly wi% t numb]s ( ,god's p _h be5 pres5t at ?is season1 to see & he> ^! ?+s :i* ,i am sure mu/ refre% ! he>t ( e true lov] ( ,zion4 ,to see ^?1 :o v lately 7 savage ,pagans & idolat]s1 8hav+ no hope1 & )\t ,god 9 ! _w10 n[ fill$ ) a s5se ( div9e love1 & wor%ipp+ ! 8,fa!r 9 _s & 9 tru?10 0 n a little affect+2 & especially to see !m s t5d] & humble1 z well z lively1 f]v5t1 & dev\t4 ,monday1 ,octob] #g4 ,be+ call$ by ! *ur* ( ,ea/-,hampton on ,long-,isl&1 z a memb] ( a c\ncil1 to advise 9 affairs ( difficulty 9 t *ur*1 ,i set out ?is morn+1 be=e x 0 well light1 & travell$ to ,elisabe?-,t[n4 ,he prosecut$ 8 j\rney ) ! o!r m9i/]s t 7 s5t =3 & did n return till ,octob] #bd4 ,octob] #bd4 ,i disc\rs$ f ,john iv4 #acad4 ,!re 0 a great att5tion1 & an unaffect$ melt+ 9 ! assembly4,x is surpris+ to see h[ eag] !y are to he> ! ^w ( ,god4 ,i h (t5 ?\ght !y w\ld *e>fully att5d div9e wor%ip tw5ty-f\r h\rs toge!r4 ,octob] #be4 ,i disc\rs$ to my p on ! resurrection1 f ,luke xx4 #bgcf4 ,& :5 ,i came to m5tion ! bless$ness ! good %all enjoy at t season2 _! f9al fre$om f dea?1 & sorr[2 _! equality to ! angels 9 reg>d ( _! ne>ness to1 & enjoym5t ( ,*ri/2 & _! be+ ! *ildr5 ( ,god1 op5ly ackn[l$g$ by him z su*2 ,i say1 :5 ,i m5tion$ ^! ?+s1 numb]s ( !m 7 mu* affect$1 & melt$ ) a view ( ?is bless$ /ate4 ,octob] #bf4 ,be+ call$ to assi/ 9 ! adm9i/ration ( ! ,"l's-supp] 9 a neighb\r+ congregation1 ,i invit$ my p to g ) me1 :o embrac$ ! opportunity *e>fully1 & att5d$ ! disc\rses ( t solemnity ) dilig5ce & affection1 mo/ ( !m n[ und]/&+ some?+ ( ! ,engli% language4 ,"l's-day1 ,octob] #bg4 ,:ile ,i 0 prea*+ to a va/ assembly ( p abroad1 :o appe>$ g5]ally easy & secure en\gh1 !re 0 "o ,indian woman1 a /rang]1 :o nev] he>d me prea* be=e1 nor ev] reg>d$ any ?+ ab\t religion1 7be+ n[ p]suad$ by "s ( h] fri5ds to come ?\gh mu* aga9/ h] w7 0 seiz$ ) a press+ conc]n = h] s\l1 & soon aft] express$ a great desire ( go+ home1 7m ?an =ty miles di/ant7 to call h] husb&1 t he also might h a conc]n = 8 s\l4 ,"s o!r ( ! ,indians also appe>$ to be affect$ ) div9e tru?s ?is day4 ,! pi\s p ( ! ,engli% 7numb]s ( :om ,i _h an opportunity to conv]se )7 seem$ refre%$ ) see+ ! ,indians wor%ip ,god 9 t dev\t & solemn mann]1 & c\ld n b 8glorify ,god1 say+1 ,!n ha? ,god also to ! ,g5tiles grant$ rep5tance unto life40 99,octob] #bh4 ,i disc\rs$ f ,mat!w xxii4 #aac4 ,i 0 enabl$ to adapt my disc\rse to ! capacities ( my p1 8,i "k n h[10 9 a pla91 easy1 & famili> mann]1 beyond all t ,i c\ld h done by ! utmo/ /udy3 & ?is1 ) z mu* fre$om1 z if ,i _h be5 address+ a common audi5ce1 :o _h be5 in/ruct$ 9 ,*ri/ianity all _! days4 99,! ^w ( ,god at ?is "t seem$ to fall ^u ! assembly ) a div9e p[]1 especially t[>d ! close ( my disc\rse3 !re 0 bo? a sweet melt+1 & bitt] m\rn+ 9 ! audi5ce4,! ,*ri/ians 7 refre%$ & com=t$1 convictions reviv$ 9 o!rs1 & sundry p]sons newly awak5$ :o _h nev] be5 ) u be=e2 & s mu* ( ! div9e pres5ce appe>$ 9 ! assembly1 t x seem$1 8?is 0 no o!r ?an ! gate ( heav540 ,all t _h any reli% ( div9e ?+s 7 ev5 con/ra9$ to say1 8,"l1 x is good = u to be "h60 ,if ev] !re 0 among my p an appe>ance ( ! ,new ,j]usalem8z a bride adorn$ = h] husb&10 !re 0 at ?is "t4 ,& s agreeable 0 ! ent]ta9m5t1 t ,i c\ld sc>ce tell h[ to leave ! place4 ,"l's-day1 ,novemb] #c4 ,i baptiz$ f\rte5 ,indians1 six adults & eight *ildr53 "o ( ^! 0 ne> f\rscore ye>s ( age1 & ,i h reason to hope ,god has br\ght h] home to himself3 two ( ! o!rs 7 m5 ( fifty ye>s old1 :o _h be5 s+ul> ev5 among ! ,indians = _! wick$ness2 "o ( !m _h be5 a murd]]1 & bo? notori\s drunk>ds1 z well z excessive qu>relsome2 b n[ ,i _c b hope bo? are really *ang$4 ,i def]r$ _! baptism = _m weeks1 t ,i might h m opportunities to obs]ve ! fruits ( ^? impressions !y _h be5 "u4 ,inde$ !re 0 n b "o ( ! adults b _h giv5 me gr\nds to hope1 t ,god _h wr\ght a good "w 9 _! he>ts4 8,octob] #bc0 replac$ ) 8,novemb] #c0 800 replac$ ) 80 n0 p] ,errata ,novemb] #d4 ,!re 7 sundry ( ! p]sons lately come f remote places1 t 7 n[ br\ght "u deep conc]n = _! s\ls2 p>ticul>ly "o1 :o n long s9ce came half drunk1 & rail$ on u1 & attempt$ to di/urb u :ile engag$ 9 div9e wor%ip1 0 s di/ress$1 t %e seem$ unable to get any ease )\t an int]e/ 9 ,*ri/4 ,!re 7 _m te>s & affectionate groans 9 ! assembly 9 g5]al1 "s weep+ = !mselves1 o!rs = _! fri5ds4 ,& ?\gh p]sons are d\btless mu* m easily affect$ n[1 ?an !y 7 9 ! beg9n+ ( ?is religi\s conc]n1 :5 te>s & cries = _! s\ls 7 ?+s unhe>d ( among !m2 yet1 _! affection 9 g5]al appe>$ g5u9e & unfeign$2 & especially 9 ^? newly awak5$4 8to0 replac$ ) 8(0 p] ,errata ,i baptiz$ a *ild ?is day1 & p]ceiv$ sev]al ( ! baptiz$ p]sons1 affect$1 z be+ !reby m9d$ ( _! own solemn engagem5ts4 ,i h n[ baptiz$ 9 all =ty-sev5 p]sons ( ! ,indians1 tw5ty adults1 & tw5ty-f\r *ildr52 ?irty-five ( !m belong+ to ^! p>ts1 & ! re/ to ! ,=ks ( ,delaw>e2 & !y h none ( !m yet be5 a disgrace to _! pr(ession4 ,be=e ,i proce$1 ,i w\ld make a few rem>ks4 ,& #a/1 ,x is rem>kable t ,god began ?is "w among ! ,indians at a "t :5 ,i _h ! lea/ prospect ( see+ a "w ( grace among !m4 ,my bodily /r5g? be+ !n mu* wa/$ by a t$i\s j\rney to ,susquahannah1 my m9d exce$+ly depress$ ) a view ( ! unsuccessfulness ( my lab\rs1 ,i _h little to hope t ,god w\ld make me in/rum5tal ( ! sav+ conv]sion ( any ( ! ,indians1 :5ce ,i 0 ready to look ^u myself z a burd5 to ! society t employ$ me4 ,i began to ent]ta9 s]i\s ?\ghts ( giv+ up my mission2 & almo/ resolv$ ,i w\ld1 at ! conclusion ( ! ye>1 if ,i _h no bett] prospect 9 my "w ?an ,i _h hi!rto _h4 ,9 ?is frame ( m9d ,i fir/ visit$ ^! ,indians at ,crosweeksung1 appreh5d+ x 0 my duty to make "s attempts = _! conv]sion1 ?\gh ,i _c say1 ,i _h any hope ( success4 ,& yet ?is 0 ! v season t ,god saw fit to beg9 ?is glori\s "w 96 ,& ?us he 8orda9$ /r5g? out ( weakness10 by mak+ b>e 8 almighty arm at a "t :5 all hopes & human probabilities fail$48,:5ce ,i le>n t x is good to foll[ ! pa? ( duty1 ?\gh 9 ! mid/ ( d>kness & disc\ragem5t40 #b;dly1 ,x is rem>kable h[ ,god1 9 a mann] almo/ unacc\ntable1 call$ ^! ,indians toge!r & h[ he seiz$ _! m9ds ) ! mo/ solemn conc]n z fa/ z !y came to ! place :]e 8 ^w 0 prea*$4 ,:5 ,i fir/ came into ^! p>ts1 ,i f\nd n "o man at ! place1 b only f\r wom51 & a few *ildr53 b be=e ,i _h be5 !re _m days1 !y ga!r$ f all qu>t]s1 "s f m ?an tw5ty miles di/ant3 & :5 ,i made !m a second visit1 "s came m ?an =ty miles to he> me4 8seis$0 replac$ ) 8seiz$0 ,& _m came )\t any intellig5ce ( :at 0 go+ on "h1 & consequ5tly )\t any design1 s mu* z to gratify _! curiosity2 s t x seem$ z if ,god _h summon$ !m toge!r f all qu>t]s = no?+ else b to deliv] 8 message to !m4 ,nor is x less surpris+ t !y 7 "o aft] ano!r affect$ ) a solemn conc]n1 almo/ z soon z !y came ^u ! spot :]e div9e tru?s 7 taught !m4 ,i c\ld n b ?9k1 _! com+ to ?is place 0 l ,saul & 8 mess5g]s com+ among ! prophets2 !y no soon] came b !y prophesi$3 & ^! 7 almo/ z soon affect$ ) a s5se ( _! s9 & mis]y1 & ) an e>ne/ conc]n = deliv]ance1 z !y made _! appe>ance 9 our assembly4,aft] ?is "w ( grace began ) p[] among !m1 x 0 common = /rang]s ( ! ,indians1 be=e !y _h be5 ) u "o day1 to be deeply conv9c$ ( _! s9 & mis]y1 & to inquire ) great solicitude1 8,:at !y %\ld d to be sav$80 870 replac$ ) 8:]e0 #c;dly1 ,x is likewise rem>kable h[ ,god pres]v$ ^! poor ignorant ,indians f be+ prejudic$ aga9/ me1 & ! tru?s ,i taught !m4 ,!re 7 _m attempts made by "s ( ! :ite p to prejudice !m aga9/1 or fright !m f ,*ri/ianity4 ,!y sometimes told !m1 ! ,indians 7 well en\gh already3t !re 0 no ne$ ( all ?is noise ab\t ,*ri/ianity3t if !y 7 ,*ri/ians1 !y w\ld be 9 no bett]1 no saf]1 or happi] /ate1 ?an !y 7 already4 ,sometimes !y told !m1 t ,i 0 a knave1 a deceiv]3 t ,i taught !m lies1 & _h no o!r design b to impose ^u !m4 ,& :5 none ( ^! sugge/ions w\ld avail1 !y told ! ,indians1 8,my design 0 to ga!r toge!r z l>ge a body ( m5 z ,i c\ld1 & sell !m to ,engl& = slaves40 ,no?+ c\ld be m likely to t]rify ! ,indians1 !y be+ naturally ( a jeal\s disposition1 & ! mo/ av]se to a /ate ( s]vitude p]haps ( any p liv+4 ,b all ^! ins9uations 7?r\gh div9e goodness7 con/antly turn$ aga9/ ! au?ors ( !m1 & only s]v$ to engage ! affections ( ! ,indians m firmly to me3 = !y c\ld n b obs]ve1 t ! p]sons :o endeav\r$ to imbitt] _! m9ds aga9/ me1 7 altoge!r unconc]n$ ab\t _! own s\ls1 & n only s1 b vici\s & pr(ane2 & !nce c\ld n b argue1 t if !y _h no conc]n = _! own1 x 0 n likely !y %\ld h any = ! s\ls ( o!rs4 ,x seems ! m wond]ful t ! ,indians 7 pres]v$ f he>k5+ to ^! sugge/ions1 z ,i 0 an utt] /rang] among !m1 & c\ld give no assurance ( my s9c]e affection1 by any ?+ t 0 pa/1:ile ! p]sons t ins9uat$ ^! ?+s 7 _! old acqua9tance1 :o _h _h frequ5t opportunities ( gratify+ !m1 & consequ5tly _h ! greate/ int]e/ 9 _! affections4 #d?ly1 ,nor is x less wond]ful h[ ,god 0 pleas$ to provide a rem$y = my want ( skill 9 ! ,indian language1 by rem>kably fitt+ my int]pret] =1 & assi/+ him 9 ! p]=mance ( 8 "w4 ,x might be suppos$ ,i mu/ lab\r "u a va/ disadvantage 9 address+ ! ,indians by an int]pret]1 & t div9e tru?s w\ld lose mu* ( _! en]gy1 by com+ to ! audi5ce f a second h&4 ,b al?\gh ?is has (t5 be5 ! case 9 times pa/1 :5 my int]pret] _h little s5se ( div9e ?+s1 yet n[ x is q o!rwise4 ,i _c ?9k my addresses to ! ,indians s9ce ! beg9n+ ( ?is season ( grace1 h lo/ any ?+ ( ! p[] ) :i* !y 7 made1 unless x 7 sometimes = want ( p]t95t expressions 9 ! ,indian language4 ,my int]pret] _h be=e ga9$ "s good degree ( doctr9al k1 :]eby he 0 capable ( und]/&+ & communicat+ ! mean+ ( my disc\rses1 )\t be+ oblig$ to int]pret ^w = ^w4 ,he _h likewise an exp]im5tal acqua9tance ) div9e ?+s2 & x pleas$ ,god at ?is season to inspire 8 m9d ) long+ desires = ! conv]sion ( ! ,indians1 & to give him admirable zeal & f]v5cy 9 address+ !m4 ,& x is rem>kable1 t :5 ,i 0 fav\r$ ) any special assi/ance1 & enabl$ to speak ) m ?an common fre$om1 f]v5cy1 & p[]1 he 0 affect$ 9 ! same mann] almo/ in/antly1 & enabl$ to speak 9 ! same pa!tic language t ,i did4 ,& a surpris+ en]gy (t5 accompani$ ! ^w at su* seasons2 s t ! face ( ! :ole assembly w\ld be *ang$ almo/ 9 an in/ant1 & te>s & sobs became common among !m4 ,he likewise took pa9s day & night to inculcate ^u ! ,indians ! tru?s ,i taught !m daily2 & ?is n f spiritual pride1 b f a _s ( fai?fulness1 & an hone/ conc]n = _! s\ls4 ,& ?us ,god1 )\t be/[+ on me ! gift ( tongues1 c\ld f9d a way :]e9 ,i might be effectually enabl$ to convey ! tru?s ( 8 glori\s gospel to ! m9ds ( ^! poor b5ight$ ,pagans4 ,la/ly1 ,! effects ( ?is "w h be5 v rem>kable4 ,i d\bt n b t _m ( ^! p h ga9$ m k ( div9e tru?s s9ce ,june la/1 ?an c\ld h be5 in/ill$ into _! m9ds by ! mo/ dilig5t use ( prop] means = :ole ye>s toge!r1 )\t su* a div9e influ5ce4 ,_! ,pagan notions & idolatr\s practices seem to be entirely ab&on$4 ,!y are regul>ly dispos$ 9 ! affairs ( m>riage2 an in/ance :]e( ,i h giv5 9 my ,j\rnal ( ,augu/ #ad4 ,!y seem g5]ally divorc$ f drunk5ness1 _! d>l+ vice1 & ! 8s9 t easily besets !m30 s t ,i d n "k ( m ?an two or ?ree :o h be5 my /eady he>]s1 t h drank to excess s9ce ,i fir/ visit$ !m1 al?\gh be=e x 0 common = "s or o!r ( !m to be drunk almo/ e day3 & "s ( !m seem n[ to fe> ?is s9 9 p>ticul> m ?an dea? itself4 ,a pr9ciple ( hone/y & ju/ice appe>s 9 _m ( !m1 & !y seem conc]n$ to dis*>ge _! old debts1 :i* !y h neglect$1 &1 p]haps1 sc>ce ?\ght ( = ye>s pa/4 ,_! mann] ( liv+ is mu* m dec5t & com=table ?an =m]ly4 ,love reigns among !m1 especially ^? :o h exp]i5c$ a real *ange3 & ,i nev] saw any appe>ance ( bitt]ness or c5sori\sness1 nor any disposition to 8e/eem !mselves bett] ?an o!rs40 99,z _! sorr[s "u convictions h be5 great & press+1 s _m ( !m h s9ce appe>$ to 8rejoice ) joy unspeakable40 ,& yet _! consolations d n incl9e !m to lightness2 b are att5d$ ) solemnity1 & ) te>s1 & brok5ness ( he>t4 ,& 9 ?is respect "s ( !m h be5 surpris$ at !mselves1 & h ) conc]n obs]v$ to me1 t 8:5 _! he>ts h be5 glad10 8!y c\ld n help cry+ = all40 ,^u ! :ole1 "h are all ! evid5ces ( a rem>kable "w ( grace t c reasonably be look$ =4 ,may ! great ,au?or ma9ta9 & promote ! same "h1 & propagate x e :]e1 till 8! :ole e>? be fill$ ) 8 glory60 ,i h n[ rode m ?an ?ree ?\s& miles s9ce ! beg9n+ ( ,m>* la/2 & almo/ ! :ole ( x has be5 z a mission>y1 ^u ! design ( propagat+ ,*ri/ian k among ! ,indians4 ,i h tak5 pa9s to look out = a colleague1 to travel ) me2 b h n z yet f\nd any p]son qualifi$ & dispos$ = ?is good "w4 ,z ^! poor ,pagans /ood 9 ne$ ( hav+ 8l9e ^u l9e1 & precept ^u precept10 9 ord] to _! be+ gr\nd$ 9 ! pr9ciples ( ,*ri/ianity2 s ,i prea*$ 8publickly & taught f h\se to h\se10 almo/ e day = :ole weeks toge!r4 ,& my public disc\rses did n !n make up ! "o half ( my "w1 :ile !re 7 s _m con/antly com+ to me ) t important inquiry1 8,:at mu/ we d to be sav$80 ,& yet ,i c say1 7to ! praise ( ,god7 t ! success ) :i* my lab\rs 7 cr[n$1 unspeakably m ?an comp5sat$ = ! lab\r itself1 & 0 likewise a great means ( c>ry+ me ?r\gh fatigues1 :i* my nature w\ld h sunk "u1 )\t su* an enc\rag+ prospect4 ,b al?\gh ?is success has af=d$ matt] ( support1 com=t & ?ankfulness3 yet 9 ?is season ,i h f\nd great ne$ ( assi/ance 9 my "w1 & h be5 mu* oppress$ = want ( "o to be> a "p ( my lab\rs & h>d%ips4 8,may ! ,"l ( ! h>ve/ s5d =? o!r lab\r]s into ?is "p ( 8 h>ve/1 t ^? :o sit 9 d>kness may see great light1 & t ! :ole e>? may be fill$ ) ! k ( himself60 ,tuesday1 ,novemb] #e4 ,he left ! ,indians1 & sp5t ! rema9+ "p ( ?is week 9 travell+ to v>i\s p>ts ( ,new-,j]sey1 9 ord] to get a collection = ! use ( ! ,indians1 & to obta9 a s*ool-ma/] to in/ruct !m4 ,"l's day1 ,novemb] #aj4 ,at ,elisabe?-,t[n ,i prea*$ 9 ! =5oon f #b ,cor9?ians v4 #bj4 ,god 0 pleas$ to give me fre$om & f]v5cy2 & ! pres5ce ( ,god seem$ to be 9 ! assembly2 numb]s 7 affect$1 & !re 7 _m te>s among !m4 ,9 ! aft]noon ,i prea*$ f ,luke xiv4 #bb4 8,& yet !re is room40 ,i 0 fav\r$ ) div9e assi/ance 9 ! fir/ pray]1 & p\r$ out my s\l to ,god ) a filial temp]2 ! liv+ ,god also assi/$ me 9 s]mon4 ,friday1 ,novemb] #ae4 ,i c\ld n cross ! f]ry by reason ( ! viol5ce ( ! w9d2 nor c\ld ,i enjoy any place ( retirem5t at ! f]ry h\se4 ,yet ,god gave me "s satisfaction 9 m$itation1 & lift+ up my he>t to ,god 9 ! mid/ ( company4 ,& al?\gh "s 7 dr9k+ & talk+ pr(anely1 yet my m9d 0 calm & compos$4 ,& ,i c\ld n b bless ,god1 t ,i 0 n l to sp5d an et]nity 9 su* company4 ,saturday1 ,novemb] #af4 ,i cross$ ! f]ry & arriv$ at ,elisabe?'s-,t[n ne> night4 ,i 0 9 a compos$ frame ( m9d1 & felt an entire resignation ) respect to a loss ,i _h lately su/a9$1 9 hav+ my horse /ol5 f me ! la/ ,w$nesday night4 99,friday1 ,novemb] #bb4 ,i rode to ,mr4 ,t5n5t's & f !nce to ,crosweeksung4 ,oh t ,i c\ld fill up all my "t1 :e!r 9 ! h\se or by ! way1 = ,god6 ,i 0 enabl$ ?is day to give up my s\l to ,god1 & put all my conc]ns into 8 h&s3 & f\nd real consolation 9 ! ?\ght ( be+ entirely at 8 disposal & hav+ no w or int]e/ ( my own4 ,i h receiv$ my all f ,god6 ,oh t ,i c\ld return my all to ,god6 ,surely ,god is wor?y ( my highe/ affection1 & mo/ dev\t adoration2 he is inf9itely wor?y1 t ,i %\ld make him my la/ end1 & live = ev] to him3 ,oh t ,i might nev] m1 9 any "o in/ance1 live to myself6 ,"l's-day1 ,novemb] #bd4 ,i prea*$ f ! /ory ( ,zac*eus4 ,:5 ,i insi/$ ^u ! salvation t comes to ! s9n]1 ^u 8 becom+ a true believ]1 ! ^w seem$ to be att5d$ ) div9e p[]4,numb]s 7 mu* affect$2=m] convictions 7 reviv$1 "o or two p]sons newly awak5$2& a mo/ affectionate engagem5t appe>$ among !m univ]sally4 ,novemb] #bf4 ,i 0 fav\r$ ) fre$om & f]v5cy 9 my disc\rse4 ,_m wept affectionately1 & sc>ce any appe>$ unconc]n$4 ,! influ5ce t seiz$ ! audi5ce appe>$ g5tle1 & yet deeply affect$ ! he>t4 ,x excit$ 9 ! p]sons "u convictions ( _! lo/ /ate1 heavy groans & te>s3& 9 o!rs :o _h obta9$ com=t1 a sweet & humble melt+4 ,x seem$ l ! g5tle b /eady %[]s t effectually wat] ! e>?4 ,! p]sons lately awak5$1 7 deeply di/ress$1 & appe>$ e>ne/ly solicit\s to obta9 an int]e/ 9 ,*ri/3 & "s ( !m1 9 angui% ( _s1 said1 8,!y knew n :at to d1 nor h[ to get _! wick$ he>ts *ang$40 8soliciti\s0 replac$ ) 8solicit\s0 ,novemb] #bh4 ,aft] public s]vice 0 ov]1 ,i ask$ "o ( ! ,indians :o wept mo/ affectionately1 8,:at %e n[ want$80 ,%e repli$1 8,oh to be ) ,*ri/6 ,%e did n "k h[ to /ay40 ,?is 0 a bless$ refre%+ season to ! religi\s p 9 g5]al4 ,! ,"l ,jesus ,*ri/ seem$ to manife/ 8 div9e glory to !m1 z :5 transfigur$ be=e 8 disciples4 ,& !y 7 ready univ]sally to say1 8,"l1 x is good = u to be "h40 ,! influ5ce ( ,god's ^w 0 n conf9$ to ^? :o _h giv5 evid5ces ( be+ truly graci\s1 ?\gh ,i calculat$ my disc\rse =1 & direct$ x *iefly to su*3 b x appe>$ to be a season ( div9e p[] 9 ! :ole assembly2 s t mo/ 71 9 "s measure affect$4 ,& "o ag$ man 9 p>ticul>1 lately awak5$1 0 n[ br\ght "u deep & press+ conc]n1 & 0 e>ne/ly inquisitive 8h[ he might f9d ,jesus ,*ri/40 ,god seems /ill to v\*safe ! influ5ce ( 8 bless$ ,_s1 9 all our meet+s = div9e wor%ip4 ,novemb] #cj4 ,i prea*$ ne> night1 aft] hav+ sp5t "s h\rs 9 private conf]5ce ) "s ( my p4 ,i expla9$ ! /ory ( ! ri* man & ,laz>us1 ,luke xvi4 #ai4 #bf4 ,! ^w made p[]ful impressions ^u _m1 especially :ile ,i disc\rs$ ( ! bless$ness ( 8,laz>us 9 ,abraham's bosom40 ,?is ,i c\ld p]ceive1 affect$ !m mu* m ?an :at ,i spoke ( ! ri* man's torm5ts4 ,& ?us x has be5 usually ) !m4 ,!y h appe>$ mu* m affect$ ) ! com=table ?an ! dreadful tru?s ( ,god's ^w4 ,& t :i* has di/ress$ _m ( !m "u convictions1 is1 t !y want$1 & c\ld n obta9 ! happ9ess ( ! godly2 !y h (t5 appe>$ to be m affect$ ) ?is1 ?an ) ! t]rors ( hell4 ,b :atev] be ! means ( _! awak5+1 x is pla91 numb]s are made deeply s5sible ( _! s9 & mis]y1 ! wick$ness ( _! own he>ts1 _! utt] inability to help !mselves1 or come to ,*ri/ = help1 )\t div9e assi/ance4 ,"l's-day1 ,decemb] #a4 ,i gave !m p>ticul> cautions & directions relat+ to _! conduct 9 div]s respects4 ,& press$ !m to wat*fulness 9 all _! deportm5t1 see+ !y 7 encompass$ ) ^? t 8wait$ = _! halt+10 & :o /ood ready to draw !m into temptations ( e k9d1 & !n to expose religion on _! acc\nt4 ,monday1 ,decemb] #i4 ,i sp5t mo/ ( ! day 9 procur+ provisions1 9 ord] to my sett+ up h\se-keep+ among ! ,indians4 ,tuesday1 ,decemb] #aj4 ,t[>ds night ,i got into my own h\se4 ,?is is ! ?ird h\se t he built to dwell 9 by himself among ! ,indians3 ! fir/ at ,kaunaumeek 9 ! c\nty ( ,albany3 ! second at ! ,=ks ( ,delaw>e 9 ,p5sylvania2 & n[ ?is at ,crosweeksung 9 ,new-,j]sey4 ,decemb] #ab4 ,i prea*$ f ! p>able ( ! t5 virg9s1 ,mat!w xxv4 ,! div9e p[] seem$ to att5d ?is disc\rse1 9 :i* ,i 0 fav\r$ ) uncommon pla9ness ( address1 & enabl$ to op5 div9e tru?s1 9 a mann] beyond myself4,!re appe>$ 9 _m an affectionate conc]n = _! s\ls3 & x 0 refre%+ to see !m melt$ into te>s2 "s ) s5se ( div9e love1 & "s = want ( x4 8man]0 replac$ ) 8mann]0 ,"l's-day1 ,decemb] #ae4 ,i prea*$ to ! ,indians f ,luke xiii4 #bd1 #bh4 ,div9e tru?s fell ) weight ^u ! audi5ce4 ,ne> night ,i disc\rs$ to !m aga9 f ,mat!w xxv4 #ca4 to #df4 ,at :i* season also1 ! ^w appe>$ to be accompani$ ) div9e influ5ce1 & made p[]ful impressions ^u ! assembly 9 g5]al1 z well z ^u div]s p]sons 9 a v p>ticul> mann]4 ,?is 0 an amaz+ season ( grace6 8,! ^w ( ! ,"l10 80 quick & p[]ful1 %>p] ?an a two-edg$ sword40 ,! assembly 0 deeply wr\ght ^u2 & ! impressions made by ! ^w ( ,god appe>$ solid & rational1 wor?y ( ! solemn tru?s by means ( :i* !y 7 produc$4 ,o h[ did ! he>ts ( ! he>]s seem to b[ "u ! weight ( div9e tru?s6 ,& h[ evid5t did x n[ appe> t !y receiv$ & felt !m1 8n z ! ^w ( man1 b z ! ^w ( ,god60 99,decemb] #af4 ,!re 0 mu* affection & conc]n 9 ! assembly2 especially "o woman appe>$ 9 great di/ress4 ,%e 0 br\ght to su* an agony 9 seek+ aft] ,*ri/1 t ! sweat ran (f h] face = a consid]able "t1 al?\gh ! ev5+ 0 v cold2 & h] bitt] cries 7 ! mo/ affect+ indication ( ! inw>d angui% ( h] he>t4 ,saturday1 ,decemb] #ba4 ,my p hav+ n[ atta9$ to a consid]able degree ( k 9 ! pr9ciples ( ,*ri/ianity1 ,i ?\ght x prop] to set up a cate*etical lecture2 & ?is ev5+ attempt$ some?+ 9 t =m2 propos+ que/ions to !m1 receiv+ _! answ]s1 & !n expla9+ & insi/+ z appe>$ prop] ^u ea* "q4 ,aft] :i* ,i endeav\r$ to make "s practical improvem5t ( ! :ole4,!y 7 able readily & rationally to answ] _m important que/ions3 s t ,i f\nd _! k to exce$ my expectations4,9 ! improvem5t ( my disc\rse1 :5 ,i came to op5 ! bless$ness ( ^? :o h s great & glori\s a ,god1 z _h be5 spok5 (1 8= _! ev]la/+ fri5d & portion10 sundry 7 mu* affect$3 & especially :5 ,i exhort$ !m 8to be reconcil$ to ,god10 ?r\gh 8 de> ,son1 & ?us to secure an int]e/ 9 8 ev]la/+ fav\r4 99,"l's-day1 ,decemb] #bb4 ,aft] my lab\rs ) ! ,indians1 ,i sp5t "s "t 9 writ+2 & 0 mu* we>i$ ) ! lab\rs ( ! day4 ,i am consci\s to myself t my lab\rs are z great & con/ant z my nature w be>1 & t ord9>ily ,i g to ! ext5t ( my /r5g?2 s t ,i d all ,i c2 b ! mis]y is1 ,i d n lab\r ) t heav5ly temp]1 t s+le eye to ! glory ( ,god1 t ,i long =4 ,!re 7 sundry p]sons ( ! ,indians newly come "h1 :o _h frequ5tly liv$ among ! ,quak]s2 & be+ m civiliz$ ?an ! g5]ality ( ! ,indians1 !y _h imbib$ "s ( ! ,quak]s errors1 especially ?is1 t if m5 w\ld b live accord+ to ! dictates ( _! own consci5ces1 7or ! light )917 !re is no d\bt ( _! salvation4,^! p]sons ,i f\nd mu* worse to deal ) ?an ^? :o are :olly "u ,pagan d>kness1 :o make no pret5ces to k 9 ,*ri/ianity1 nor h any self-righte\s f\ndation to /& ^u4 ,h[ev]1 !y all1 except "o1 appe>$ n[ conv9c$1 t ?is 0 n suffici5t to salvation2 s9ce ,*ri/ himself _h decl>$ x s 9 ! case ( ! "y man4 ,& seem$ 9 "s measure conc]n$ to obta9 t *ange ( he>t :i* ,i _h be5 lab\r+ to %ew !m ! necessity (4 ,?is 0 likewise a season ( com=t to "s s\ls1 & 9 p>ticul> to "o :o nev] be=e obta9$ any settl$ com=t4 ,:5 ,i came to enquire ( h]1 h[ %e got relief f ! di/resses %e _h lately be5 "u1 %e answ]$ 9 brok5 ,engli%1 8,me try1 me try1 save myself1 la/ my /r5g? be all gone1 7mean+ h] ability to save h]self17 c\ld n me /ir bit fur!r4 ,d5 la/ me =c$ let ,jesus ,*ri/ alone1 s5d me hell if he please40 ,i said1 ,b y 0 n will+ to g to hell1 0 y8 ,%e repli$1 8,c\ld n me help x4 ,my he>t he w\ld wick$ = all4 ,c\ld n me make him good30 ,i ask$ h]1 ,h[ %e got out ( ?is case8 ,%e answ]$ /ill 9 ! same brok5 language1 8,by by my he>t be grad desp]ately40 ,i ask$ h] :y h] he>t 0 glad8 ,%e repli$1 8,grad my he>t ,jesus ,*ri/ d :at he please ) me4 ,d5 me t9k1 grad my he>t ,jesus ,*ri/ s5d me hell4 ,did n me c>e :]e he put me1 me love him = all40 ,9 prop] ,engli% ?us1 8,i tri$ & tri$ to save myself1 till at la/ my /r5g? 0 all gone1 & ,i c\ld n /ir any fur!r4 ,!n at la/ ,i 0 =c$ to let ,jesus ,*ri/ alone to s5d me to hell if he pleas$40 ,9 pla9 ,engli% ?us1 8,i c\ld n help x4 ,my he>t w\ld be wick$ = all ,i c\ld d1 ,i c\ld n make x good40 8,by & by my he>t 0 exce$+ glad t ,jesus ,*ri/ w\ld d ) me :at he pleas$4 ,!n ,i ?\ght my he>t w\ld be glad al?\gh ,*ri/ %\ld s5d me to hell4 ,i did n c>e :]e he put me1 ,i %\ld love him = all3 i4 e4 d :at he w\ld ) me40 99,& %e c\ld n readily be conv9c$1 b t %e 0 will+ to g to hell1 if ,*ri/ 0 pleas$ to s5d h] !re4 ,?\gh ! tru? evid5tly 01 h] w 0 s swall[$ up 9 ! div9e w1 t %e c\ld n frame any hell 9 h] imag9ation t w\ld be dreadful1 provid$ x 0 ! w ( ,god to s5d h] to x4 ,decemb] #be4 ,! ,indians hav+ be5 us$ ^u ,*ri/mas-days to dr9k & revel among ! :ite p1 ,i ?\ght prop] to call !m toge!r1 & disc\rse to !m ^u div9e ?+s3 :i* ,i accord+ly did f ! p>able ( ! b>r5 figtree1 ,luke xiii4 #fi4 ,! p[] ( ,god appe>$ 9 ! assembly1 by awak5+ sev]al /upid creatures1 t 7 sc>ce ev] mov$ be=e4 ,& ! impressions made ^u ! assembly 9 g5]al1 seem$ n sup]ficial1 b deep & he>t-affect+4 ,o h[ ready did !y appe> to comply ) e ?+ !y 7 conv9c$ 0 _! duty6 ,god 0 9 ! mid/ ( u ( a tru?1 b[+ & melt+ /ubborn he>ts6 ,h[ _m te>s & sobs 7 !n to be se5 & he>d among u6 ,:at livel9ess & /rict att5tion6 ,:at eag]ness & int5s5ess ( m9d6 ,!y seem$ to wat* & wait = ! dropp+ ( ,god's ^w1 z ! ?ir/y e>? = ! 8=m] & latt] ra940 ,decemb] #bf4 ,?is ev5+ ,i 0 visit$ by a p]son "u great spiritual ex]cise4 ,%e 0 a woman ( m ?an f\r-score ye>s old1 & appe>$ to be mu* brok5 & v *ildi% ?r\gh age1 s t x seem$ impossible = man to in/il into h] m9d any notions ( div9e ?+s4,%e 0 l$ by ! h& into my h\se1 & appe>$ 9 extreme angui%4 ,i ask$ h]1 :at ail$ h]8 ,%e answ]$1 8,t h] he>t 0 di/ress$1 & %e fe>$ %e %\ld nev] f9d ,*ri/40 ,i ask$ h]1 :5 %e began to be conc]n$8 ,%e answ]$ to ?is effect1 ,t %e _h he>d me prea* _m times1 b nev] 8felt x 9 h] he>t0 till ! la/ sabba?2 & !n x came1 %e said1 8all "o z if a ne$le _h be5 ?ru/ into h] he>t20 s9ce :i* "t %e _h no re/ day or night4 ,%e add$1 t on ! ev5+ be=e ,*ri/mas1 a numb] ( ,indians be+ toge!r at ! h\se :]e %e 01 & disc\rs+ ab\t ,*ri/1 _! talk prick$ h] he>t1 s t %e c\ld n sit up1 b fell d[n on h] b$2 at :i* "t %e w5t away1 7z %e express$ x7 & felt z if %e dream$1 & yet is confid5t %e did n dream4 ,:5 %e 0 ?us gone1 %e saw1 %e says1 two pa?s1 "o appe>$ v broad & crook$2 & t turn$ to ! left h&4 ,! o!r appe>$ /rait & v n>r[2 & t w5t up ! hill to ! "r h&4 ,%e travell$1 %e said1 = "s "t up ! n>r[ "r-h& pa?1 till at l5g? some?+ seem$ to ob/ruct h] j\rney4 ,%e sometimes call$ x d>kness1 & sometimes comp>$ x to a block or b>4 ,%e !n rememb]$1 %e says1 :at %e _h he>d me say ab\t 8/riv+ to ent] 9 at ! /rait gate10 7al?\gh %e took little notice ( x at t "t7 & ?\ght %e w\ld climb ov] ?is b>4 ,b j z %e 0 ?9k+ ( ?is1 %e came back aga91 z %e t]m$ x1 mean+ t %e came to h]self2 :]eupon h] s\l 0 extremely di/ress$1 appreh5d+ %e _h n[ turn$ back & =sak5 ,*ri/1 & t !re 0 !re=e no hope ( m]cy = h]4 8?ur/0 replac$ ) 8?ru/0 ,i !n propos$ to h] ! provision made 9 ! gospel = ! salvation ( s9n]s1 & ! ability & will+ness ( ,*ri/ 8to save to ! utt]mo/ all0 7old z well z "y7 8t come to him40 ,to :i* %e seem$ to give a he>ty ass5t4 ,b in/antly repli$1 8,ay1 b ,i _c come2 my wick$ he>t w n come to ,*ri/1 ,i d n "k h[ to come40 ,& ?is %e spoke 9 angui% ( _s1 /rik+ h] brea/1 ) te>s 9 h] eyes2 & ) su* e>ne/ness 9 h] looks z 0 inde$ affect+4 ,%e seems to be really conv9c$ ( h] s9 & mis]y1 & h] ne$ ( a *ange ( he>t3 & h] conc]n is abid+ & con/ant4 ,s t no?+ appe>s b t ?is ex]cise may h a sav+ issue4 ,& inde$ !re is gr\nd to hope = x1 see+ %e is solicit\s to obta9 an int]e/ 9 ,*ri/1 t h] he>t1 7z %e expresses x7 prays day & night4 ,decemb] #bh4 ,i disc\rs$ to my p 9 ! cate*etical me?od ,i lately ent]$ ^u4 ,& 9 ! improvem5t ( my disc\rse1 :]e9 ,i 0 comp>+ man's pres5t ) 8 primitive /ate2 & press+ s9n]s to take a view ( _! deplorable circum/ances )\t ,*ri/2 z also to /rive t !y may obta9 an int]e/ 9 him2 ! ,"l grant$ a rem>kable influ5ce ( 8 bless$ ,_s1 & !re 0 a great conc]n 9 ! assembly3 _m 7 melt$ into te>s1 & ! impressions made ^u !m seem$ deep & he>t affect+4 ,& 9 p>ticul>1 !re 7 two or ?ree p]sons :o appe>$ to be r$uc$ almo/ to extremity2 be+ conv9c$ ( ! impossibility ( help+ !mselves1 or m5d+ _! own he>ts2 & ^u ! po9t ( giv+ up all hope 9 !mselves1 & v5tur+ ^u ,*ri/ z nak$1 helpless & undone4 ,"l's-day4 ,decemb] #bi4 ,i prea*$ f ,john iii4 #ae4 a numb] ( :ite p 7 pres5t1 z is usual ^u ! sabba?4 ,! disc\rse seem$ to h a sil5t1 b deep & pi]c+ influ5ce ^u ! audi5ce4 ,_m wept & sobb$ affectionately4 ,& !re 7 "s te>s among ! :ite p1 z well z ! ,indians4 ,"s c\ld n refra9 f cry+ out4 ,b ! impressions made ^u _! he>ts1 appe>$ *iefly by ! extraord9>y e>ne/ness ( _! att5tion1 & _! heavy sighs & te>s4 8?0 replac$ ) 8!0 99,aft] public wor%ip 0 ov]1 ,i w5t to my h\se1 propos+ to prea* aga9 aft] a %ort int]mission4 ,b !y soon came 91 "o aft] ano!r1 ) te>s 9 _! eyes1 to "k 8:at !y %\ld d to be sav$40 ,& ! div9e ,_s 9 su* a mann]1 set home ^u _! he>ts :at ,i spoke to !m1 t ! h\se 0 soon fill$ ) cries & groans4,!y all flock$ toge!r ^u ?is occasion1 & ^? :om ,i _h reason to ?9k 9 a ,*ri/less /ate1 7 almo/ univ]sally seiz$ ) conc]n = _! s\ls4 ,x 0 an amaz+ season ( p[] among !m1 & seem$ z if ,god _h 8b[$ ! heav5s & come d[n40 ,s a/oni%+ly preval5t 0 ! op]ation ^u old z well z "y1 t x seem$ z if ,god 0 ab\t to conv]t all ! _w4 ,& ,i 0 ready to ?9k !n1 t ,i %\ld nev] aga9 despair ( ! conv]sion ( any man or woman liv+4 99,x is impossible to give a j description ( ! appe>ance ( ?+s at ?is season4 ,a numb] 7 rejoic+ t ,god _h n tak5 away ! influ5ce ( 8 bless$ ,_s4,refre%$ to see s _m 8/riv+ to ent] 9 at ! /rait gate20& animat$ ) su* conc]n = !m t !y want$ 8to pu% !m =w>d10 z "s ( !m express$ x4,at ! same "t numb]s bo? ( m5 & wom51 old & "y1 might be se5 9 te>s1 & "s 9 angui% ( _s appe>+ 9 _! v c\nt5ances1 l condemn$ malefactors go+ t[>ds ! place ( execution3 s t !re seem$ a lively emblem ( ! solemn day ( acc\nts2 a mixture ( heav5 & hell2 ( joy unspeakable1 & angui% inexpressible4 8appe>5ce0 replac$ ) 8appe>ance0 99,! conc]n 0 su*1 t ,i c\ld n pret5d to h any =mal religi\s ex]cise among !m3 b sp5t ! "t 9 disc\rs+ to "o & ano!r1 sometimes all toge!r1 & conclud$ ) pray]4 ,su* 7 _! circum/ances1 t ,i c\ld sc>e h half an h\r's re/ f speak+ f ab\t half an h\r be=e twelve o'clock1 7at :i* "t ,i began public wor%ip7 till pa/ sev5 at night4 ,decemb] #cj4 ,i 0 visit$ by f\r or five "y p]sons "u conc]n = _! s\ls1 mo/ ( :om 7 v lately awak5$4 ,!y wept mu* :ile ,i disc\rs$ to !m & endeav\r$ to press ^u !m ! necessity ( fly+ to ,*ri/ )\t delay1 = salvation4 ,decemb] #ca4 ,i sp5t "s h\rs ?is day 9 visit+ my p f h\se to h\se3 & sc>ce left a h\se1 )\t leav+ "s or o!r ( its inhabitants 9 te>s1 solicit\sly engag$ to obta9 an int]e/ 9 ,*ri/4 ,! ,indians are n[ ga!r$ toge!r f all qu>t]s to ?is place1 & h built !m little cottages1 s t m ?an tw5ty families live )9 a qu>t] ( a mile ( me1 a v conv5i5t situation 9 reg>d bo? ( public & private in/ruction4 ,w$nesday1 ,janu>y #a1 #agdef4 ,i am ?is day beg9n+ a ,new-,ye>2 & ,god has c>ri$ me ?r\gh num]\s trials & lab\rs 9 ! ye> pa/4 ,he has amaz+ly support$ my feeble frame2 = 8hav+ obta9$ help ( ,god1 ,i cont9ue to ?is day40 ,o t ,i might live ne>] to ,god1 ?is ye> ?an ,i did la/6 ,! bus9ess t ,i h be5 enabl$ to g ?r\gh1 ,i "k1 has be5 z great z nature is able to be> up "u1 & :at w\ld h sunk me q1 )\t special support4 ,b alas6 ?\gh ,i h done ! lab\rs & endur$ ! trials1 ) :at _s ,i h done ! "o1 & borne ! o!r8 ,h[ cold has my he>t (t5 be56 & h[ little h ,i ey$ ! glory ( ,god6 ,i h f\nd1 t ,i c\ld h no peace )\t fill+ up all my "t ) lab\rs2 & ?us 8necessity has be5 laid ^u me20 yea1 9 t respect1 ,i h lov$ to lab\r2 b ,i c\ld n s5sibly lab\r = ,god1 z ,i w\ld h done4 ,may ,i = ! future be enabl$ m s5sibly to make ! glory ( ,god my all4 8day0 replac$ ) 8ye>0 p] ,errata ,janu>y #b4 ,i visit$ "s p]sons newly come among u1 :o _h sc>ce ev] he>d any ?+ ( ,*ri/ianity 7b ! "n74 ,i endeav\r$ to in/ruct !m 9 ! fir/ pr9ciples ( religion 9 ! mo/ easy & famili> mann] ,i c\ld4 ,!re are /rang]s f remote p>ts almo/ cont9ually dropp+ 91 s t ,i h occasion repeat$ly to op5 & inculcate ! fir/ pr9ciples ( ,*ri/ianity4 ,ne> night ,i propos$ to h proce$$ 9 my usual me?od ( cate*is+4 ,b :ile we 7 engag$ 9 ! fir/ pray]1 ! p[] ( ,god came ^u ! assembly 9 s rem>kable a mann]1 t ,i ?\ght x m exp$i5t to insi/ ^u ! pl5tiful provision made = ! r$emption ( p]i%+ s9n]s1 & to press !m to a spe$y acceptance ( ! great salvation1 ?an to ask !m que/ions ab\t doctr9al po9ts4 ,i baptiz$ two p]sons ?is day2 "o adult & "o *ild4 ,! woman has discov]$ an heav5ly frame ( m9d1 f h] fir/ reception ( com=t4 ,"o morn+ 9 p>ticul> %e came to see me1 discov]+ an unusual joy 9 h] c\nt5ance2 & :5 ,i inquir$ ! reason ( x1 %e repli$1 8,t ,god _h made h] feel t x 0 "r = him to d z he pleas$ ) all ?+s8 ,%e moreov] inquir$1 :e!r ,i 0 n s5t to prea* to ! ,indians by "s good p a great way (f40 ,i repli$1 ,yes1 by ! good p 9 ,scotl&4 ,%e answ]$1 8t h] he>t lov$ ^? good p s1 ! ev5+ be=e1 t %e c\ld sc>ce help pray+ = !m all night1 h] he>t w\ld g to ,god = !m40 99,w$nesday1 ,janu>y #h4 ,my he>t 0 drawn out aft] ,god3 my s\l 0 refre%$ & quick5$2 ,i _h great hopes ( ! +a!r+ ( preci\s s\ls to ,*ri/2 n only among my own p1 b o!rs also4 ,i 0 sweetly resign$ "u my bodily weakness2 will+ to live or die1 & desir\s to lab\r = ,god to ! utmo/ ( my /r5g?4 ,friday1 ,janu>y #aj4 ,my s\l 0 9 a calm1 compos$ frame1 & my he>t fill$ ) love to all ! _w2 & ,*ri/ian simplicity & t5d]ness seem$ to prevail & reign ) me4 ,ne> night1 ,i visit$ a s]i\s bapti/ m9i/]1 & _h "s agreeable conv]sation ) him4 ,janu>y #ac4 ,i 0 visit$ by div]s p]sons "u deep conc]n2 "o ( :om 0 newly awak5$4,x is a mo/ agreeable "w to treat ) s\ls :o are solicit\sly inquir+1 8:at !y %all d to be sav$80 ,& z we are nev] to 8be we>y 9 well-do+10 s ! obligation is peculi>ly /rong :5 ! "w is s lively4 ,& yet my heal? is s mu* impair$1 & my _s s wa/$ ) my lab\rs1 & solit>y mann] ( liv+1 7!re be+ no human creature 9 ! h\se ) me47 t _! repeat$ & almo/ incessant application to me = help & direction1 are sometimes exce$+ burd5some4 ,& :at contributes mu* t[>ds ?is difficulty is1 t ,i am oblig$ to sp5d mu* "t communicat+ a little matt] to !m2 !re be+ (t5 _m ?+s necess>y to be premis$1 be=e ,i c speak directly to :at ,i pr9cipally aim at2 :i* ?+s w\ld readily be tak5 = grant$1 :]e !re 0 a compet5cy ( k4 ,"l's-day1 ,janu>y #ai4 ,i cate*is$ 9 my ord9>y me?od4 ,numb]s 7 mu* affect$4,convictions p[]fully reviv$4,div]s ( ! ,*ri/ians refre%$ & /r5g!n$4,& "o we>y heavy lad5 s\l1 ,i h reason to hope1 0 br\ght to solid com=t 9 ,*ri/4 99,he told me1 he _h (t5 he>d me say1 t p]sons mu/ see & feel !mselves helpless & undone2 t !y mu/ give up all hope ( sav+ !mselves by _! own do+s1 9 ord] to _! com+ to ,*ri/ = salvation4 ,& he _h long be5 /riv+ aft] ?is2 suppos+ ?is w\ld be an excell5t frame ( m9d3 t ,god w\ld h respect to ?is frame1 & be/[ et]nal life ^u him4,b :5 he came to feel himself 9 ?is helpless undone condition1 he f\nd x q contr>y to all 8 ?\ghts3 s t x 0 n ! same1 nor inde$ any ?+ l ! frame he _h be5 seek+ aft]4 ,in/ead ( its be+ a good frame ( m9d1 he n[ f\nd no?+ b badness 9 himself1 & saw x = ev] impossible = him to make himself any bett]4 ,he 0 amaz$ he _h nev] be=e se5 t x 0 utt]ly impossible = him1 by all 8 contrivances & endeav\rs1 to d any ?+ t way4,in/ead ( imag9+ t ,god w\ld be pleas$ ) him = ! sake ( ?is frame ( m9d1 he saw cle>ly x w\ld be j ) ,god to s5d him to et]nal mis]y2 & t !re 0 no goodness 9 :at he !n felt2 = he c\ld n help see+1 t he 0 nak$1 s9ful1 & mis]able1 & !re 0 no?+ 9 su* a sight to des]ve ,god's love or pity4 ,9 ?is frame ( m9d he came to public wor%ip ?is ev5+1 & :ile ,i 0 invit+ s9n]s to come to ,*ri/ nak$ & empty1 )\t any goodness ( _! own to recomm5d !m to 8 acceptance2 he ?\ght1 t he _h (t5 tri$ to come & give up 8 he>t to ,*ri/1 & he us$ to hope1 t "s "t or o!r he %\ld be able to d s4 ,b n[ he 0 conv9c$ he c\ld n1 & x seem$ utt]ly va9 = him ev] to try any m3 nor did he n[ hope = a bett] opportunity h]eaft]1 z he _h =m]ly done1 because he saw1 & 0 fully conv9c$1 8 own /r5g? w\ld = ev] fail4 8convic$0 replac$ ) 8conv9c$0 99,:ile he 0 mus+ 9 ?is mann]1 he saw1 he said1 ) 8 he>t 7:i* is a common phrase among !m7 some?+ t 0 unspeakably good & lovely1 & :at he _h nev] se5 be=e2 & 8?is /ole away 8 he>t :e!r he w\ld or no40 ,he did n1 he said1 "k :at x 0 he saw4 ,he did n say1 8?is is ,jesus ,*ri/20 b x 0 su* glory & beauty z he nev] saw be=e4 ,he did n n[ give away 8 he>t s z he _h =m]ly attempt$ to d1 b x w5t away ( itself aft] t glory he !n discov]$4 ,he us$ to try to make a b>ga9 ) ,*ri/1 to give up 8 he>t to him1 t he might h et]nal life = x4 ,b n[ he ?\ght no?+ ab\t himself1 b 8 m9d 0 :olly tak5 up ) ! unspeakable excell5cy ( :at he !n beheld4 ,aft] "s "t he 0 wond]fully pleas$ ) ! way ( salvation by ,*ri/3 s t x seem$ unspeakably bett] to be sav$ altoge!r by ! m]e free grace ( ,god 9 ,*ri/1 ?an to h any h& 9 sav+ himself4,& ! consequ5ce is1 t he appe>s to reta9 a reli% ( div9e ?+s1 & to ma9ta9 a life ( true religion4 ,"l's-day1 ,janu>y #bf4 ,aft] public wor%ip1 ,i 0 9 a sweet & solemn frame ( m9d1 ?ankful to ,god t he _h made me 9 "s measure fai?ful 9 address+ preci\s s\ls1 b griev$ t ,i _h be5 no m f]v5t 9 my "w2 & t5d]ly affect$ t[>ds all ! _w1 long+ t e s9n] might be sav$2 & c\ld n h ent]ta9$ any bitt]ness t[>ds ! wor/ enemy liv+4 ,9 ! ev5+1 ,i rode to ,elisabe?-,t[n3 :ile rid+ ,i 0 almo/ con/antly engag$ 9 lift+ up my he>t to ,god1 le/ ,i %\ld lose t sweet heav5ly solemnity & composure ( s\l ,i enjoy$4 ,aft]w>ds ,i 0 pleas$1 to ?9k1 t ,god reigne?2 & ?\ght1 ,i c\ld nev] be uneasy ) any ( 8 disp5sations2 b mu/ be entirely satisfi$1 :atev] trials he %\ld cause me or 8 *ur* to enc\nt]4 ,i nev] felt m div9e s]5ity & composure ( m9d3 ,i c\ld freely h left ! de>e/ e>?ly fri5d1 = ! society ( 8angels1 & spirits ( j m5 made p]fect30 my affections so>$ al(t to ! bless$ ,au?or ( e de> enjoym5t3 ,i view$ ! empt9ess & unsatisfactory nature ( ! mo/ desireable e>?ly objects1 any fur!r ?an ,god is se5 9 !m3 & long$ = a life ( spirituality & inw>d purity2 )\t :i*1 ,i saw1 !re c\ld be no true pleasure4 ,janu>y #bh4 ,! ,indians 9 ^! p>ts hav+ 9 times pa/ run !mselves 9 debt by _! excessive dr9k+2 & "s hav+ tak5 ! advantage ( !m1 & arre/$ sundry ( !m2 :]eby x 0 suppos$ _! hunt+ l&s might spe$ily be tak5 f !m3 ,i be+ s5sible t !y c\ld n subsi/ toge!r 9 ^! p>ts1 if ^! l&s %\ld drop out ( _! h&s1 ?\ght x my duly to use my utmo/ endeav\rs to prev5t x4 ,& hav+ acqua9t$ ! g5tlem5 conc]n$ 9 ?is mission ) ! affair1 !y ?\ght x prop] to exp5d ! money !y _h be5 collect+ = ! religi\s int]e/s ( ! ,indians1 7at lea/ a "p ( x17 = ! dis*>g+ ( _! debts1 & secur+ ( ^! l&s4,& hav+ receiv$ ord]s f !m1 ,i answ]$1 9 behalf ( ! ,indians1 ,eighty-two p\nds five %ill+s1 ,new-,j]sey curr5cy4 ,janu>y #ca4 ,?is day ! p]son ,i _h engag$ = a s*ool-ma/] among ! ,indians1 arriv$ among u1 & 0 he>tily welcom$ by my p4,:]eupon ,i di/ribut$ sev]al doz5 ( prim]s among ! *ildr5 & "y p4 ,febru>y #a1 #agdef4 ,my s*ool-ma/] ent]$ ^u 8 bus9ess among ! ,indians4,he has g5]ally ab\t ?irty *ildr5 & "y p]sons 9 8 s*ool 9 ! day-"t1 & ab\t fifte5 m>ri$ p 9 8 ev5+-s*ool4 ,! numb] ( ! latt] sort ( p]sons be+ less ?an x w\ld be1 if !y c\ld be m con/ant at home4 ,9 ! ev5+ ,i cate*is$ 9 my usual me?od4 ,t[>ds ! close ( my disc\rse1 a surpris+ p[] seem$ to att5d ! ^w4 ,"o man consid]ably 9 ye>s1 :o _h be5 a rem>kable drunk>d1 a conjur] & murd]]1 t 0 awak5$ "s mon?s be=e1 0 n[ br\ght to great extremity1 s t he trembl$ = h\rs toge!r1 & appreh5d$ himself j dropp+ into hell1 )\t any p[] to rescue or relieve himself4,div]s o!rs appe>$ "u great conc]n z well z he1 & solicit\s to obta9 a sav+ *ange4 ,monday1 ,febru>y #aj4 ,he set out on a j\rney to ! ,=ks ( ,delaw>e1 to visit ! ,indians !re4 ,he p]=m$ ! j\rney "u great weakness1 & sometimes 0 ex]cis$ ) mu* pa94 ,he arriv$ at 8 own h\se at ! ,=ks1 on ,friday4 ,i baptiz$ ?ree p]sons1 two adults1 & "o *ild4 ,!re 0 a consid]able melt+ 9 ! assembly1 :ile ,i 0 adm9i/]+ ! ord9ance4 ,god has be5 pleas$ to own & bless ! adm9i/ration ( ?is1 z well z ( 8 o!r ord9ances1 among ! ,indians4 ,!re are "s "h t h be5 p[]fully awak5$ at see+ o!rs baptiz$3 ,& "s h obta9$ relief & com=t1 j :5 ?is ord9ance has be5 adm9i/]$4 ,t[>d night ,i cate*is$1 ,god made ?is a p[]ful season4 ,!re 7 _m affect$4,=m] convictions 7 p[]fully reviv$4 ,!re 0 likewise "o1 :o _h be5 a vile drunk>d1 rem>kably awak5$4 ,he appe>$ to be 9 great angui% ( s\l1 wept & trembl$1 & cont9u$ s to d till ne> midnight4,!re 0 also a poor heavy lad5 s\l1 :o _h be5 long "u di/ress1 t 0 n[ br\ght to a com=table calm1 & told me1 8,%e n[ saw & felt x 0 "r ,god %\ld d ) h] z he pleas$40 ,& add$1 t ! heavy burd5 %e _h la9 "u1 0 n[ remov$3 t %e felt %e nev] c\ld d any ?+ to save h]self1 b mu/ p]i% = ev] if ,*ri/ did n d all = h]4 ,b ,*ri/ c\ld save h]1 ?\gh %e c\ld d no?+ to save h]self4 ,"l's-day1 ,febru>y #af4 ,kn[+ t div]s ( ! ,indians 9 ^? p>ts 7 ob/9ately set aga9/ ,*ri/ianity1 ,i ?\ght x prop] to h "s ( my p f ,crosweeksung ) me1 9 ord] to conv]se ) !m2 hop+ x might conv9ce !m ( ! tru?1 to he> "s ( _! own nation disc\rs+ ( div9e ?+s & manife/+ e>ne/ desires t o!rs might be br\ght out ( ,hea!ni% d>kness1 z !mselves 74 ,& hav+ tak5 half a doz5 ( ! mo/ kn[+ p]sons1 ,i ?is day met ) !m & ! ,indians ( ?is place1 7sundry ( :om c\ld n h be5 prevail$ ^u to att5d ! meet+1 _h x n be5 = ^! ,indians7 & prea*$ to !m4,"s ( !m :o _h1 9 times pa/1 be5 extremely av]se to ,*ri/ianity1 n[ behav$ sob]ly2 ! ^w ( ,god fell ) su* weight1 t sev]al seem$ to be /unn$1 & express$ a will+ness to 8he> me aga9 ( ^! matt]s40 ,^? few ,indians !n pres5t1 :o us$ to be my he>]s 9 ^! p>ts1 7"s hav+ remov$ f h5ce to ,crosweeksung7 seem$ glad to see me aga91 al?\gh !y _h be5 s mu* attack$ by "s ( ! ,pagans1 t !y 7 almo/ afraid to manife/ _! fri5d%ip4 ,9 ! ev5+ ,i 0 9 a compos$ frame ( m9d4 ,x 0 exce$+ refre%+ to ?9k1 t ,god _h be5 ) me1 af=d+ me "s good measure ( assi/ance4 ,i f\nd fre$om 9 pray] & ?anksgiv+ to ,god3 & f\nd my s\l sweetly enl>g$ 9 pray]4 ,bless$ be ! ,"l1 t ev] ,i am enabl$ to d any ?+ = 8 k+dom4 ,bless$ be ,god :o enables me to be fai?ful1 ,i enjoy$ m resolution = ,god1 & m refre%m5t ( _s1 ?an ,i h be5 fav\r$ ) = _m weeks pa/4 ,febru>y #ag4 ,i disc\rs$ f ,acts viii4 #eh4 ,a div9e influ5ce seem$ to att5d ! ^w4 ,sundry ( ! ,indians "h appe>$ to be some:at awak5$1 & manife/$ a conc]n by _! e>ne/ att5tion1 te>s & sobs4 ,my p f ,crosweeksung cont9u$ ) !m day & night1 inculcat+ ! tru?s ,i _h taught !m3 & sometimes pray$ & sung psalms among !m2 disc\rs+ ) ea* o!r1 9 _! he>+ ( ! great ?+s ,god _h done = !m1 & = ! ,indians f :5ce !y came2 :i* seem$ to take m effect ^u !m1 ?an :5 !y direct$ _! disc\rses imm$iately to !m4 ,febru>y #ah4 ,i prea*$ to an assembly ( ,iri% p ne> fifte5 miles di/ant f ! ,indians4 ,febru>y #ai4 ,i prea*$ to ! ,indians aga91 aft] hav+ sp5t a consid]able "t 9 conv]s+ ) !m privately4 ,!re appe>$ a great solemnity1 & "s conc]n & affection among ! ,indians belong+ to ^! p>ts1 z well z a sweet melt+ among ^? :o came ) me4,div]s ( ! ,indians "h seem$ to h _! prejudices remov$1 & appe>$ well dispos$ to he> ! ^w ( ,god4 ,febru>y #bj4 ,i prea*$ to a small assembly ( ,high-,dut* p1 :o _h seldom he>d ! gospel prea*$1 & 71 7"s ( !m at lea/7 v ignorant2 b h div]s ( !m lately be5 put ^u an inquiry aft] ! way ( salvation4 ,!y gave wond]ful att5tion1 & "s ( !m 7 mu* affect$1 & aft]w>ds said1 7z ,i 0 in=m$7 t !y nev] _h be5 s mu* enlight5$ ab\t ! way ( salvation 9 _! :ole lives be=e4 ,!y reque/$ me to t>ry ) !m1 or come aga9 & prea* to !m4 ,& x griev$ me t ,i c\ld n comply ) _! reque/1 = ,i c\ld n b be affect$ ) _! circum/ances2 !y be+ z 8%eep n hav+ a %eph]d40 ,febru>y #ba4 ,i prea*$ to a numb] ( p1 _m ( !m ,l[-,dut*1 sundry ( ! ,high-,dut* att5d$1 ?\gh eight or t5 miles di/ant f _! h\ses4,div]s ( ! ,indians also belong+ to ^! p>ts1 came ( _! own accord ) my p 7f ,crosweeksung7 two 9 p>ticul>1 :o 9 ! la/ ,sabba?1 oppos$ & ridicul$ ,*ri/ianity4 ,febru>y #bj4 ,i prea*$ to ! ,indians4 ,!y seem$ m cordial to ,*ri/ianity ?an be=e1 & "s appe>$ mu* affect$4 ,my spirits 7 support$1 ?\gh my bodily /r5g? 0 mu* wa/$4 ,o t ,god w\ld be graci\s to ! s\ls ( ^! poor ,indians6 ,god has be5 v graci\s to me ?is week3 he has enabl$ me to prea* e day2 & has giv5 me "s assi/ance1 & enc\rag+ prospect ( success 9 almo/ e s]mon4 ,bless$ be 8 "n4 ,div]s ( ! :ite p h be5 awak5$ ?is week2 sundry ( ! ,indians mu* cur$ ( prejudice aga9/ ,*ri/ianity1 & "s seem$ to be really awak5$4 ,! next day he left ! ,=ks ( ,delaw>e1 to return to ,crosweeksung2 & sp5t ! :ole week till ,saturday1 be=e he arriv$ !re2 b prea*$ by ! way e day1 except+ "o2 & _h mu* inw>d com=t1 & e>ne/ long+s to fill up all 8 "t ) ! s]vice ( ,god4 ,"l's-day1 ,m>* #b4 ,"s ( my p :o w5t up to ! ,=ks ( ,delaw>e ) me1 be+ n[ return$1 7 accompani$ by two ( ! ,indians belong+ to ! ,=ks1 :o _h promis$ me a spe$y visit4 ,!y c sc>ce g into a h\se n[1 b !y w meet ) ,*ri/ian conv]sation1 :]eby !y may be bo? in/ruct$ & awak5$4 ,i "k ( no assembly ( ,*ri/ians1 :]e !re seems to be s mu* ( ! pres5ce ( ,god1 :]e bro!rly love s mu* prevails1 z 9 my own congregation3 al?\gh n m ?an n9e mon?s ago1 !y 7 wor%ipp+ devils & dumb idols1 "u ! p[] ( ,pagan d>kness & sup]/ition4 ,amaz+ *ange6 ,effect$ by no?+ less ?an div9e p[] & grace6 ,_! pres5t situation is s compact & commodi\s1 t !y are quickly call$ toge!r ) only ! s\nd ( a ,conk-%ell1 7a %ell l t ( a ,p]riw9kle7 s t !y h frequ5t opportunities ( att5d+ religi\s ex]cises publicly2 :i* seems to be a great means1 "u ,god1 ( keep+ alive _! impressions ( div9e ?+s4 99,?ursday1 ,m>* #f4 ,i walk$ alone 9 ! ev5+1 & enjoy$ com=t 9 pray]1 beyond :at ,i h ( late enjoy$3 my s\l rejoic$ 9 my pilgrimage-/ate4 ,i 0 delight$ ) ! ?\ght ( lab\r+ & endur+ h>dness = ,god3 & confid$ 9 ,god t he 8nev] w\ld leave me nor =sake me10 to ! end ( my race4 ,oh1 may ,i obta9 m]cy ( ,god to be fai?ful1 to my dy+ mom5t6 ,m>* #h4 ,i cate*is$ 9 ! ev5+4 ,my p answ]$ ! que/ions propos$ to !m well4 ,i c p]ceive _! k 9 religion increases daily4,& :at is /ill m desirable1 ! div9e influ5ce among !m1 appe>s /ill to cont9ue4 ,! div9e pres5ce seem$ to be 9 ! assembly ?is ev5+4 ,"s1 :o are ,*ri/ians inde$1 7 melt$ ) a s5se ( ! div9e goodness1 & _! own b>r5ness & +ratitude4,convictions also appe>$ to revive 9 sev]al2 s x might ju/ly be call$ 8an ev5+ ( p[]40 ,"l's day1 ,m>* #i4 ,i prea*$ f ,luke x4 #chdb4 ,! ^w ( ,god 0 att5d$ ) en]gy4 ,numb]s 7 conc]n$ to obta9 ! "o ?+ ne$ful4 ,sev]al t h giv5 good evid5ces ( be+ truly conv]t$1 7 mu* affect$ ) a s5se ( _! want ( spirituality2 & saw ! ne$ !y /ood 9 ( gr[+ 9 grace4 ,& mo/ t _h _h any impressions ( div9e ?+s 9 times pa/1 n[ felt ^? impressions reviv$4 ,9 ! aft]noon1 ,i propos$ to h cate*is$ 9 my usual me?od4 ,b :ile we 7 engag$ 9 ! fir/ pray]1 9 ! ,indian language1 7z usual7 a great "p ( ! assembly 0 s mu* mov$1 t ,i ?\ght x prop] to omit ! que/ions1 & insi/ ^u ! mo/ practical tru?s4 ,!re appe>$ to be a p[]ful influ5ce 9 ! congregation4 ,^? truly pi\s1 7 s deeply affect$ ) a s5se ( _! own b>r5ness1 & _! unwor?y treatm5t ( ! bless$ ,r$eem]1 t !y look$ on him z pi]c$ by !mselves1 & m\rn$1 yea1 "s ( !m 7 9 bitt]ness z = a fir/-born4,"s poor awak5$ s9n]s also appe>$ to be 9 angui% ( s\l to obta9 an int]e/ 9 ,*ri/4 ,s t !re 0 a great m\rn+ 9 ! assembly3 _m heavy groans & te>s6 & "o or two p]sons newly come among u1 7 consid]ably awak5$4 ,aft] public wor%ip _m came to my h\se1 :]e we sung & disc\rs$2 & ! pres5ce ( ,god seem$ "h also to be 9 ! mid/ ( u4 99,:ile we 7 s++1 !re 0 "o 7! woman m5tion$ 9 my j\rnal ( ,febru>y #i47 :o1 0 8fill$ ) joy unspeakable & full ( glory10 & c\ld n b bur/ =? 9 pray] & praises to ,god be=e u all1 ) _m te>s1 cry+ sometimes 9 ,engli%1 & sometimes 9 ,indian 8,o bless$ ,"l1 d come1 d come6 ,o d take me away1 d let me die & g to ,jesus ,*ri/6 ,i am afraid if ,i live ,i %all s9 aga96 ,o d let me die n[6 ,o de> ,jesus1 d come6 ,i _c /ay1 ,i _c /ay6 ,o h[ c ,i live 9 ?is _w6 d take my s\l away f ?is s9ful place6 ,o let me nev] s9 any m60,9 ?is ec/asy %e cont9u$ "s "t1 utt]+ ^! & su* l expressions incessantly4 99,:5 %e _h a little recov]$1 ,i ask$ h]1 if ,*ri/ 0 n[ sweet to h] s\l8 ,:]eupon1 turn+ to me ) te>s 9 h] eyes1 %e said1 8,i h _m times he>d y speak ( ! goodness & ! sweetness ( ,*ri/1 t he 0 bett] ?an all ! _w4 ,b ,o6 ,i knew no?+ :at y meant1 ,i nev] believ$ y6 ,i nev] believ$ y6 ,b n[ ,i "k x is true60,i answ]$1 ,& d y see en\gh 9 ,*ri/ = ! greate/ ( s9n]s8 ,%e repli$1 8,o6 en\gh1 en\gh6 = all ! s9n]s 9 ! _w1 if !y w\ld b come40 ,& :5 ,i ask$ h]1 if ! c\ld n tell !m ( ! goodness ( ,*ri/3 turn+ h]self ab\t to "s poor ,*ri/less s\ls :o /ood by1 & 7 mu* affect$1 %e said1 8,o6 !re is en\gh 9 ,*ri/ = y1 if y w\ld b come6 ,o /rive1 /rive to give up y\r he>ts to him60,& ^u he>+ some?+ ( ! glory ( heav5 m5tion$1 %e aga9 fell into ! same ec/asy1 repeat+ h] =m] expressions1 8,o de> ,"l1 d let me g6 ,o :at %all ,i d1 :at %all ,i d6 ,i want to g to ,*ri/6 ,i _c live6 ,o d let me die60 ,%e cont9u$ 9 ?is sweet frame = m ?an two h\rs1 be=e %e 0 well able to get home4 ,i am s5sible !re may be great joys1 :]e !re is no evid5ce ( _! be+ well gr\nd$4 ,b 9 ! pres5t case !re seem$ to be no evid5ce want+1 9 ord] to prove ?is joy to be div9e1 ei!r 9 reg>d ( its prep>atives1 att5dants1 or consequ5ts4 ,( all ! p]sons ,i h se51 ,i sc>ce ev] saw "o m b[$ "u convictions ( s92 & sc>ce any :o seem$ to h a great] acqua9tance ) h] own he>t ?an %e _h4 ,& z %e 0 rem>kably s5sible ( h] /ubbornness "u conviction1 s %e 0 no less rem>kably reconcil$ to div9e grace1 be=e %e obta9$ relief4 ,s9ce :i* %e has con/antly brea!d ! _s ( a new creature3 cry+ aft] ,*ri/1 n ?r\gh fe> ( hell z be=e1 b ) /rong desires aft] him z h] only satisfy+ portion3 & has _m times wept bitt]ly1 because %e c\ld n love him4,:5 ,i h ask$ h]1 ,:y %e appe>$ s sorr[ful1 & :e!r x 0 because %e 0 afraid ( hell8 ,%e w\ld answ]1 8,no1 ,i be n di/ress$ ab\t t2 b my he>t is s wick$ ,i _c love ,*ri/20 & !reupon bur/ out into te>s4,b al?\gh ?is has be5 ! habitual frame ( h] m9d = sev]al weeks1 yet %e nev] _h any rem>kable com=t till ?is ev5+4 ,! att5dants ( ?is com=t1 7 su* z abundantly discov]$ t x 0 truly 8joy 9 ! ,holy ,gho/40,n[ %e view$ div9e tru?s z liv+ realities2 & c\ld say1 8,i "k ^! ?+s are s1 ,i feel !y are true60,n[ h] s\l 0 resign$ to ! div9e w 9 ! mo/ t5d] po9ts2 s t :5 ,i said to h]1 ,:at if ,god %\ld take away y\r husb&1 7:o 0 sick17 h[ d y ?9k y c\ld be> t8 ,%e repli$1 8,he belongs to ,god1 & n to me2 he may d ) him j :at he pleases40,n[ %e _h ! mo/ t5d] s5se ( ! evil ( s91 & discov]$ ! utmo/ av]sion to x4,n[ %e c\ld freely tru/ h] all ) ,god = "t & et]nity4 ,& :5 ,i qu]i$ ) h]1 h[ %e c\ld be will+ to die1 & leave h] little infant3 & :at %e ?\ght w\ld become ( x 9 case %e %\ld8 ,%e answ]$1 8,god w take c>e ( x4 ,x belongs to him40,n[ %e appe>$ to h ! mo/ humbl+ s5se ( h] own unwor?9ess & inability to pres]ve h]self f s91 & to p]sev]e 9 hol9ess4 ,& ,i ?\ght ,i _h nev] se5 su* an appe>ance ( ec/asy & humility meet+ 9 any "o p]son4 ,! consequ5ts ( ?is joy are no less desirable ?an its att5dants4 ,%e s9ce appe>s to be a mo/ t5d]1 brok5-he>t$1 affectionate1 dev\t1 & humble ,*ri/ian1 z exempl>y 9 life & conv]sation z any p]son 9 my congregation4 ,m>* #aj4 ,t[>d night ! ,indians met toge!r ( _! own accord1 & sang1 pray$1 & disc\rs$ ( div9e ?+s4 ,at ?is "t !re 0 mu* affection among !m4 ,"s appe>$ to be melt$ ) div9e ?+s1 & o!rs seem$ mu* conc]n$ = _! s\ls4 ,i baptiz$ ! woman m5tion$ 9 my j\rnal ( la/ ,"l's-day2 :o appe>$ to be 9 a dev\t1 & excell5t frame ( m9d4 ,my h\se be+ ?rong$ ) p 9 ! ev5+1 ,i sp5t ! "t ) !m1 till my nature 0 almo/ sp5t4,!y are s unwe>i$ 9 religi\s ex]cises1 & unsatiable 9 _! ?ir/+ aft] ,*ri/ian k1 t ,i c sometimes sc>ce avoid lab\r+ s1 z greatly to exhau/ my /r5g?4 ,m>* #ai4 ,"s ( ! p]sons t w5t ) me to ! ,=ks ( ,delaw>e1 hav+ be5 deta9$ !re by ! dang]\s illness ( "o ( _! company1 return$ home ?is day4 ,:]eupon my p met toge!r ( _! own accord1 to give ?anks to ,god = 8 pres]v+ goodness to ^? :o _h be5 abs5t f !m = sev]al weeks1 & recov]+ m]cy to him t _h be5 sick4 ,"l's-day1 ,m>* #bc4 ,!re be+ ab\t fifte5 /rang]s1 adult p]sons1 come among u 9 ! week pa/1 div]s ( :om _h nev] be5 9 any religi\s meet+ till n[1 ,i ?\ght x prop] to disc\rse ?is day 9 a mann] suit$ to _! circum/ances1 & accord+ly attempt$ x f ,hosea xiii4 #i1 op5+ 9 ! pla9e/ mann] ,i c\ld1 man's apo/acy & ru9$ /ate4 ,aft] hav+ spok5 "s ?+s respect+ ! be+ & p]fections ( ,god1 & 8 creation ( man 9 a /ate ( uprightness & happ9ess1 9 ! aft]noon1 ,i endeav\r$ to op5 ! glori\s provision ,god has made = ! r$emption ( apo/ate creatures4 8/ate1 aft]0 replac$ ) 8/ate4 ,aft]0 p] ,errata 8aft]non0 replac$ ) 8aft]noon0 ,ne> sun-set ,i felt an uncommon conc]n ^u my m9d1 especially = ! poor /rang]s3 ,i visit$ sundry h\ses1 & disc\rs$ ) !m sev]ally1 b )\t mu* appe>ance ( success1 till ,i came to a h\se :]e div]s ( ! /rang]s 72 & !re ! ^w took effect1 fir/ ^u "s *ildr52 !n ^u div]s adult p]sons t _h be5 some:at awak5$ be=e1 & aft]w>ds ^u sev]al ( ! ,pagan /rang]s4 ,i cont9u$ my disc\rse till almo/ e "o 9 ! h\se 0 melt$ into te>s2 & div]s wept al\d1 & appe>$ e>ne/ly conc]n$ to obta9 an int]e/ 9 ,*ri/4 ,^u ?is1 numb]s soon ga!r$ f all ! h\ses r\nd ab\t & s ?rong$ ! place1 t we 7 oblig$ to remove to ! h\se :]e we meet = public wor%ip4 ,& ! congregation ga!r+ imm$iately & _m appe>+ rem>kably affect$1 ,i disc\rs$ "s "t f ,luke xix4 #aj1 endeav\r+ to op5 ! m]cy ( ,*ri/ = lo/1 helpless1 & undone s9n]s4 ,!re 0 mu* conc]n 9 ! assembly2 & ,i d\bt n b a div9e influ5ce accompani$ :at 0 spok5 to ! he>ts ( _m4 ,!re 7 five or six ( ! /rang]s 7m5 & wom57 :o appe>$ to be consid]ably awak5$4 ,& 9 p>ticul> "o v rugg$ "y man1 :o seem$ z if no?+ w\ld move him1 0 n[ br\ght to tremble l ! jailor1 & weep = a long "t4 ,! ,pagans t 7 awak5$ seem$ at once to put (f _! savage r\ghness1 & became sociable & humane4 ,:5 !y fir/ came1 ,i exhort$ my p to take pa9s ) !m 7z !y _h done ) o!r /rang]s f "t to "t7 to in/ruct !m 9 ,*ri/ianity4 ,b :5 "s ( !m attempt$ x1 ! /rang]s w\ld soon rise up & walk to o!r h\ses4 ,:]eupon "s ( ! s]i\s p]sons agre$ to disp]se !mselves into ! sev]al p>ts ( ! settlem5t4 ,s t :]ev] ! /rang]s w5t1 !y met ) w>m addresses respect+ _! s\ls4,b n[ !re 0 no ne$ ( us+ policy 9 ord] to get an opportunity ( conv]s+3 = !y 7 s t\*$ ) a s5se ( _! p]i%+ /ate1 z tamely to yield to ! close/ addresses1 respect+ _! s9 & mis]y1 & _! ne$ ( an acqua9tance ) ! great ,r$eem]4 ,monday1 ,m>* #bd4 ,i numb]$ ! ,indians1 to see h[ _m s\ls ,god _h ga!r$ toge!r "h1 s9ce my com+2 & f\nd !re 0 n[ ab\t an hundr$ & ?irty p]sons1 old & "y4 ,& sundry ( ^? t are my /at$ he>]s1 p]haps fifte5 or tw5ty1 7 abs5t at ?is season4 ,:]eas few 7 toge!r at my fir/ com+ into ^! p>ts1 ! :ole numb] n am\nt+ to t5 p]sons4 ,my p go+ out ?is day to cle> "s ( _! l&s ab\t fifte5 miles di/ant1 9 ord] to _! settl+ !re toge!r1 :]e !y might att5d ! public wor%ip ( ,god1 h _! *ildr5 s*ool$1 & at ! same "t h a conv5i5cy = plant+3 ,i ?\ght x prop] to call !m toge!r & %ew !m ! duty ( lab\r+ ) fai?fulness & indu/ry2 & t !y mu/ n n[ 8be slo?ful 9 bus9ess10 z !y _h ev] be5 9 _! ,pagan /ate4 ,& hav+ giv5 !m directions = _! "w1 & recomm5d$ !m to ,god1 ,i dismiss$ !m to _! bus9ess4 ,9 ! ev5+ ,i read & exp\nd$ ! sub/ance ( ! ?ird *apt] ( ! ,acts4 ,numb]s seem$ to melt "u ! ^w4,:5 ,i ask$ !m aft]w>ds1 :e!r !y did n n[ feel t _! he>ts 7 wick$8 ,"o repli$1 8,yes1 %e felt x n[40 ,al?\gh be=e %e came "h %e _h said1 8,h] he>t 0 n wick$1 & %e nev] _h done any ?+ t 0 bad 9 h] life40 ,& ?is inde$ seems to be ! case ) !m1 univ]sally 9 ! ,pagan /ate4 7,& 9 ! ,*ri/ian too67 ,!y seem to h no consci\sness ( s9 & guilt1 unless !y c *>ge !mselves ) "s gross acts ( s94 ,monday1 ,m>* #bd4 ,aft] ! ,indians 7 gone to _! "w1 ,i got alone & p\r$ out my s\l to ,god1 t he w\ld smile ^u ^! feeble beg9n]s1 & t he w\ld settle an ,indian t[n1 t might be a m\nta9 ( hol9ess2 & f\nd my s\l mu* refre%$1 & mu* enl>g$ = ,zion's int]e/1 & = numb]s ( de> fri5ds 9 p>ticul>4 ,my s9k+ spirits 7 reviv$1 & ,i felt animat$ 9 ! s]vice ,god has call$ me to4 ,?is 0 ! de>e/ h\r ,i h enjoy$ = _m days1 if n weeks4 ,i f\nd an enc\rag+ hope1 t some?+ w\ld be done = ,god1 & t ,god w\ld use & help me 9 8 "w4 ,& ,oh h[ sweet 7 ! ?\ghts ( lab\r+ = ,god1 :5 ,i _h any hope t ev] ,i %\ld succe$4 ,! next day1 8 s*ool-ma/] 0 tak5 sick ) a pleurisy2 & he sp5t great "p ( ?is week 9 t5d+ him3 :i* 9 8 weak /ate 0 almo/ too mu* = him3 he be+ oblig$ con/antly to wait ^u him1 all day1 f day to day1 & to lie on ! floor at night4 ,m>* #bi4 ,9 ! ev5+ ,i cate*is$ z usual4 ,treat+ ^u ! 8b5efits :i* believ]s receive f ,*ri/'s dea?40,! que/ions 7 answ]$ ) great read9ess & propriety4 ,& ! p ( ,god1 7 sweetly melt$ 9 g5]al4 ,!re appe>$ su* a livel9ess & vig\r 9 _! att5dance ^u ! ^w ( ,god1 & su* eag]ness to be made p>tak]s ( ! b5efits !n m5tion$1 t !y seem$ to be n only 8look+ =1 b ha/5+ to ! com+ ( ! day ( ,god40 ,div9e tru?s seem$ to di/il ^u ! audi5ce ) a g5tle1 b melt+ efficacy1 z ! refre%+ 8%[]s ^u ! new m[n grass40 ,! assembly 9 g5]al1 z well z ^? :o appe> truly religi\s1 7 affect$ ) an acc\nt ( ! bless$ness ( ! godly at dea?3 & mo/ !n discov]$ an affectionate incl9ation to cry1 8,let me die ! dea? ( ! righte\s40 ,m>* #ca4 ,i call$ my p toge!r aga91 & disc\rs$ to !m aga9 on ! necessity ( _! lab\r+ indu/ri\sly1 9 ord] to _! liv+ toge!r1 & enjoy+ ! means ( grace4 ,& hav+ us$ solemn pray] among !m1 ,i dismiss$ !m to _! "w4 ,numb]s ( !m bo? 7m5 & wom57 (f]$ !mselves will+ly to ?is s]vice2 & "s appe>$ affectionately conc]n$ t ,god might g ) !m1 & beg9 _! little t[n = !m3 t x might be a place com=table = !m & !irs1 9 reg>d bo? ( procur+ ! necess>ies ( life1 & att5d+ ! wor%ip ( ,god4 ,w$nesday1 ,april #b4 ,i 0 ex]cis$ ) a spiritless frame ( m9d4 ,alas6 ,my days pass away z ! *aff6 ,x is b little ,i d1 or c d1 t turns to any acc\nt2 & x is my con/ant burd5 t ,i am s fruitless 9 ! v9ey>d ( ! ,"l4 ,oh t ,i 7 _s1 t ,i might be active = ,god4 ,?is m ?an any ?+ else1 makes me long1 t 8?is corruptible might put on incorruption1 & ?is mortal put on immortality40 ,god deliv] me f ! clogs & fett]s1 & a body ( dea?1 t imp$e my s]vice = him4 ,saturday1 ,april #e4;,aft] public wor%ip1 a numb] ( my de> ,*ri/ian ,indians came to my h\se2 ) :om ,i felt a sweet union ( s\l2 my he>t 0 knit to !m2 ,i h n felt su* a sweet & f]v5t love to ! bre?r51 = "s "t pa/3 & ,i saw 9 !m appe>ances ( ! same love4 ,?is gave me some?+ ( a view ( ! heav5ly /ate2 & p>ticul>ly t "p ( ! happ9ess ( heav51 :i* consi/s 9 ! communion ( sa9ts4 ,"l's-day1 ,april #f4 ,i prea*$ f ,mat!w vii4 #babc4 ,!re 7 consid]able effects visible 9 ! audi5ce2 an e>ne/ att5tion1 a great solemnity1 _m te>s & sighs4 ,div]s 7 put ^u close exam9ation ( _! spiritual slates1 by he>+ t 8n e "o t sai? to ,*ri/1 ,"l1 ,"l1 %all ent] into 8 k+dom40 ,& "s ( !m express$ fe>s lea/ !y _h deceiv$ !mselves1 & tak5 up a false hope1 because !y _h done s little ( ! 8w ( 8 ,fa!r :o is 9 heav540 ,!re 0 also "o man br\ght "u press+ conc]n = 8 s\l2 :i* appe>$ m especially aft] 8 retirem5t f public wor%ip4 ,& t :i*1 he says1 gave him ! greate/ uneas9ess1 01 n s mu* any p>ticul> s91 z t he _h nev] done ! w ( ,god at all1 & s _h no claim to ! k+dom ( heav54 ,9 ! aft]noon ,i op5$ to !m ! discipl9e ( ,*ri/ 9 8 *ur*1 & ! me?od 9 :i* (f5d]s are to be dealt )4 ,at ?is ! religi\s p 7 mu* affect$1 especially :5 !y he>d1 t ! (f5d] cont9u+ ob/9ate1 mu/ be e/eem$ 8z an ,hea!n man1 t has no "p or lot among ,god's visible p40 ,?is !y seem$ to h ! mo/ awful appreh5sions (2 a /ate ( ,hea!nism1 out ( :i* !y 7 s lately br\ght1 appe>+ v dreadful to !m4 ,aft]1 public wor%ip ,i visit$ sundry h\ses to see h[ !y sp5t ! rema9d] ( ! sabba?1 & to treat ) !m on ! great conc]ns ( _! s\ls2 & ! ,"l seem$ to smile ^u my endeav\rs1 & to make ^! p>ticul> addresses m effectual ?an my public disc\rses4 ,april #g4 ,i endeav\r$ to op5 ! in/itution1 nature1 & ends ( ! ,"l's supp]1 z well z ! qualifications necess>y to ! "r p>ticipation ( x4 ,sundry p]sons seem$ mu* affect$ ) ! love ( ,*ri/ 9 ?is provision = ! com=t ( 8 p1 at a season :5 himself 0 j ent]+ ^u 8 %>pe/ suff]+s4 ,on ,tuesday1 he w5t to a meet+ ( ! ,presbyt]y appo9t$ at ,elisabe?'s-,t[n4 ,9 8 way ?i!r1 he enjoy$ "s sweet m$itations2 b aft] he came !re1 he 0 7z he expresses x7 "u an awful gloom1 t oppress$ 8 m9d4 ,& ?is cont9u$ till ,saturday ev5+4 ,he sp5t ! sabba? at ,/at5 isl&2 :]e he prea*$ to an assembly ( ,dut* & ,engli%1 & enjoy$ consid]able refre%m5t4 ,9 ! ev5+ he return$ to ,elisabe?'s-,t[n4 ,monday1 ,april #ad4 ,my spirits 7 refre%$1 & my m9d compos$1 s t ,i 0 9 a com=table frame ( s\l1 mo/ ( ! day4 ,9 ! ev5+ my head 0 cle>1 my m9d s]5e2 ,i enjoy$ sweetness 9 secret pray] & m$itation4 ,oh1 h[ free1 h[ com=table1 *e>ful1 & yet solemn1 d ,i feel :5 ,i am 9 a good measure fre$ f ^? damps & melan*oly glooms1 t ,i (t5 lab\r "u6 99,tuesday1 ,april #ae4 ,my s\l long$ = m spirituality3 & x 0 my burd51 t ,i c\ld d no m = ,god4 ,oh1 my b>r5ness is my daily affliction6 ,oh1 h[ preci\s is "t3 & h[ x pa9s me to see x slide away1 :ile ,i d s v little to any good purpose6 ,oh t ,god w\ld make me m fruitful & spiritual6 ,?ursday1 ,april #ag4 ,i enjoy$ "s com=t 9 pray]1 "s fre$om 9 m$itation1 & composure 9 my /udies4 ,9 ! ev5+ ,i prea*$ f ,psalms lxxiii4 #bh4 8,b x is good = me to draw ne> to ,god40 ,god help$ me to feel ! tru? ( my text4 ,i 0 enabl$ to p\r out my s\l to ,god ) great fre$om1 f]v5cy1 & affection3 & to speak ) t5d]ness1 & yet ) fai?fulness3 & div9e tru?s seem$ to fall ) weight & influ5ce ^u ! he>]s4 ,my he>t 0 melt$ = ! de> assembly1 & ,i lov$ e body 9 x2 my s\l cri$1 8,oh t ! de> creatures might be sav$6 ,o t ,god w\ld h m]cy on !m60 ,"l's-day1 ,april #bj4 ,i enjoy$ "s fre$om1 & ex]cise ( fai? & pray]1 especially :5 ,i came to pray = ,zion4 ,i 0 free f gloomy disc\ragem5t2 & my s\l rejoic$ 9 ! hopes ( ,zion's prosp]ity1 & ! enl>gem5t ( ! k+dom ( ! great ,r$eem]4 ,?is day he ent]$ into ! #bi? ye> ( 8 age4 ,monday1 ,april #ba4 ,i 0 compos$ & com=table mo/ ( ! day2 _h fre$om 9 pray]1 sev]al times2 especially = ,zion's enl>gem5t & prosp]ity4 ,& ,oh1 h[ refre%+ 7 ^! hopes to my s\l6 ,oh t ! k+dom ( ! ,"l might come4 ,tuesday1 ,april #bb4 ,my m9d 0 rem>kably free f melan*oly damps1 & animat$ 9 my "w1 ,i f\nd su* vig\r & resolution 9 ! s]vice ( ,god1 t ! m\nta9s seem$ to become a pla9 be=e me4 ,oh1 bless$ be ,god = an int]val ( refre%m5t1 & f]v5t resolution 9 my ,"l's "w6 ,9 ! ev5+1 my s\l 0 refre%$ 9 secret pray]1 & my he>t drawn out = div9e bless+s2 especially = ! *ur* ( ,god1 = my own p1 & = de> fri5ds 9 remote places4 ,oh t ,zion might prosp]1 & preci\s s\ls be br\ght home to ,god6 ,april #be4 ,hav+ appo9t$ ! next ,"l's-day = ! adm9i/ration ( ! ,"l's supp]1 ?is day 0 set ap>t = solemn fa/+ & pray]1 to implore ! bless+ ( ,god ^u our design2 & to intreat t 8 pres5ce might be ) u 9 our approa* to 8 table4 ,! solemnity 0 obs]v$1 n only by ^? :o propos$ to communicate1 b by ! :ole congregation4,9 ! =m] "p ( ! day1 ,i endeav\r$ to op5 to my p ! nature ( a fa/1 & to in/ruct !m 9 ! duties ( su* a solemnity4,9 ! aft]noon ,i insi/$ ^u ! special reasons !re 7 = our n[ engag+ 9 ^! solemn ex]cises2 bo? 9 reg>d ( ! ne$ we /ood 9 ( div9e assi/ance1 9 ord] to a due prep>ation = ! sacr$ ord9ance2 & 9 respect ( ! manife/ decl9e ( ,god's "w "h1 z to ! conviction & conv]sion ( s9n]s4 ,! wor%ip ( ,god 0 att5d$ ) great solemnity & rev]5ce1 ) mu* t5d]ness & _m te>s1 & !re 0 "s appe>ance ( div9e p[] ^u ^? :o _h be5 awak5$ "s "t be=e4 ,aft] repeat$ pray]1 ,i l$ !m to a solemn r5ewal ( _! baptismal cov5ant1 :]e9 !y _h explicitly giv5 up !mselves to ,god1 ! ,fa!r1 ,son1 & ,holy ,gho/1 av\*+ him to be _! ,god2 & at ! same "t r5\nc+ _! hea!ni% vanities1 & solemnly engag+ to take ! ^w ( ,god = ! rule ( _! lives1 promis+ to walk toge!r 9 love1 to wat* ov] !mselves1 & "o ano!r2 to lead lives ( s]i\sness & devotion1 & to dis*>ge ! relative duties incumb5t ^u !m4 ,?is solemn transaction 0 att5d$ ) mu* s]i\sness2 & at ! same "t ) ! utmo/ read9ess & *e>fulness2 & an union & h>mony ( s\l seem$ to cr[n ! :ole4 ,april #bf4 ,i cate*is$ ^? t design$ to p>take ( ! ,"l's supp] ! next day1 ^u ! in/itution1 nature & end ( t ord9ance2 & _h abundant satisfaction respect+ _! k4 ,!y likewise appe>$1 to h an affect+ s5se ( ! solemnity ( ! ord9ance1 & to be humbl$ "u a s5se ( _! own unwor?9ess2 & e>ne/ly conc]n$ t !y may be duly prep>$ = an att5dance ^u x4 ,_! he>ts 7 full ( love "o t[>d ano!r1 & ?is !y seem$ mu* conc]n$ to ma9ta91 & br+ to ! ,"l's table ) !m4 ,i adm9i/]$ ! ,"l's supp] to tw5ty-?ree ,indians1 7! numb] ( m5 & wom5 be+ ne>ly equal17 div]s o!rs1 to ! numb] ( five or six1 be+ n[ abs5t at ! ,=ks ( ,delaw>e4 ,! ord9ance 0 att5d$ ) great solemnity1 & ) ! utmo/ t5d]ness & affection4 ,9 ! p]=mance ( ! sacram5tal actions1 especially 9 ! di/ribution ( ! bread1 !y seem$ to be affect$ 9 a mo/ lively mann]1 z if 8,*ri/ _h be50 really 8crucifi$ be=e !m40 ,& ! words ( ! in/itution1 :5 repeat$1 seem$ to be ent]ta9$ ) ! same full & firm belief & affectionate engagem5t ( s\l1 z if ! ,"l ,jesus ,*ri/ himself _h p]sonally spok5 to !m4 99,hav+ re/$ "s "t aft] ! adm9i/ration ( ! sacram5t1 ,i walk$ f h\se to h\se1 & conv]s$ p>ticul>ly ) mo/ ( ! communicants1 & f\nd !y _h be5 refre%$ at ! ,"l's table 8z ) new w9e40 ,& nev] did ,i see su* an appe>ance ( ,*ri/ian love among any p4 ,"o might well h cri$ ) an agreeable surprize1 8,behold h[ !y love "o ano!r60 ,t[>d night ,i disc\rs$ on ! imm$iate design ( ,*ri/'s dea?1 8,to r$eem 8 p f all iniquity40 ,?is appe>$ to be a season ( div9e p[]4 ,! religi\s 7 mu* refre%$1 & seem$ rem>kably t5d]1 full ( love1 joy1 peace1 & desires ( be+ completely 8r$eem$ f all iniquity40 ,convictions also appe>$ to be reviv$ 9 _m in/ances2 & div]s p]sons 7 awak5$ :om ,i _h nev] obs]v$ "u any religi\s impressions be=e4 ,su* 0 ! influ5ce :i* att5d$ our assembly1 t x seem$ griev\s to conclude ! public wor%ip4 ,& ! congregation :5 dismiss$1 al?\gh x 0 !n almo/ d>k1 appe>$ lo? to leave ! place4 8dismis$0 replac$ ) 8dismiss$0 ,april #bh4 ,i conclud$ ! solemnity ) a disc\rse ^u ,john xiv4 #ae4 8,if ye love me keep my comm&m5ts40 ,!re appe>$ great t5d]ness 9 ! audi5ce 9 g5]al1 b especially 9 ! communicants4,o h[ free1 h[ engag$ & affectionate did ^! appe> 9 ! s]vice ( ,god6 ,!y seem$ will+ to h _! 8e>s bor$ to ! door po/s ( ,god's h\se10 & to be 8 s]vants = ev]4 99,obs]v+ numb]s 9 ?is excell5t frame1 ,i ?\ght x prop] to improve ?is advantage\s season1 z ,hezekiah did 8 great passov]1 7#b ,*ronicles xxxi47 9 ord] to promote ! bless$ re=mation among !m3 & accord+ly propos$ to !m t !y %\ld r5ew$ly ent] into cov5ant be=e ,god1 to wat* ov] !mselves & "o ano!r4 ,& especially t !y w\ld wat* aga9/ ! s9 ( drunk5ness4,!y *e>fully compli$ & explicitly jo9$ 9 t cov5ant2 :]eupon ,i proce$$ 9 ! mo/ solemn mann] to call ,god to witness _! sacr$ engagem5t2 m9d$ !m ( ! greatness ( ! guilt !y w\ld contract 9 ! violation ( x2 & t ,god w\ld be a t]rible witness aga9/ ^? :o %\ld presume to d s1 9 ! 8great & notable day ( ! ,"l40 99,x 0 a season ( amaz+ solemnity1 & a div9e awe appe>$ ^u ! face ( ! :ole assembly6 ,affectionate sighs1 & te>s1 7 frequ5t 9 ! audi5ce3 & ,i d\bt n b _m sil5t cries 7 s5t up to ! f\nta9 ( grace1 = grace to fulfil ^! solemn engagem5ts4 ,on ,tuesday he w5t to ,elisabe?-,t[n1 to ! meet+ ( ! ,presbyt]y3 & sp5t ! "t 9 a free & com=table /ate ( m9d4 ,saturday1 ,may #c4 ,i rode f ,elisabe?-,t[n home to my p1 ne> ,cranb]ry2 :i!r !y are remov$1 & :]e ,i hope ,god w settle !m z a ,*ri/ian congregation4 ,i 0 refre%$ 9 lift+ up my he>t to ,god1 :ile rid+2 & enjoy$ a ?ankful frame ( _s4 ,may #d4 ,my p be+ n[ remov$ to _! l&s2 ,i ?is day visit$ !m1 & prea*$ to !m f ,m>k iv4 #e4 %ew+ ! reason !re 0 to fe>1 le/ _m hopeful beg9n+s1 might prove abortive1 l ! 8se$ dropp$ ^u /ony places40 ,may #e4 ,i visit$ !m aga91 & gave !m directions relat+ to _! bus9ess4 ,i daily discov] m & m ( :at importance x is1 t !y become indu/ri\s1 & able to raise ! necess>ies ( life )9 !mselves2 = _! pres5t me?od ( liv+ greatly exposes !m to temptations ( v>i\s k9ds4 99,w$nesday1 ,may #g4 ,i sp5t mo/ ( ! day 9 writ+1 & enjoy$ fre$om 9 my "w4 ,i 0 fav\r$ ) com=table m$itations1 ?is day1 & 9 ! ev5+1 0 9 a sweet compos$ frame ( m9d3 pleas$ & delight$ to leave all ) ,god1 respect+ myself1 = "t & et]nity1 & respect+ ! p ( my *>ge & de> fri5ds3 ,i _h no d\bt b t ,god w\ld take c>e ( me1 & ( 8 own int]e/ among my p2 & 0 enabl$ to use fre$om 9 pray]1 z a *ild ) a t5d] fa!r4 99,?ursday1 ,may #h4 ,9 ! ev5+ ,i enjoy$ a t5d] melt+ frame 9 secret pray]1 :]e9 my s\l 0 drawn out = ! int]e/ ( ,zion1 & com=t$ ) ! lively hope ( ! appe>+ ( ! k+dom ( ! great ,r$eem]4 ,^! 7 sweet mom5ts3 ,i felt lo? to g to b$1 & griev$ t sleep 0 necess>y4 ,h[ev]1 ,i lay d[n ) a t5d] rev]5tial fe> ( ,god1 s5sible t 88 fav\r is life10 & 8 smiles1 inf9itely bett] ?an life itself4 ,may #i4 ,i prea*$ 9 ! op5 wild]ness2 ! ,indians hav+ z yet no h\se = public wor%ip 9 ?is place1 nor sc>ce any %elt] = !mselves4,div9e tru?s made consid]able impressions1 & x 0 a season ( solemnity1 t5d]ness1 & affection4 ,i baptiz$ ?is day1 ! conjur] & murd]] m5tion$ be=e1 su* a rem>kable in/ance ( div9e grace1 t ,i _c omit "s brief acc\nt ( him4 8conjuror0 replac$ ) 8conjur]0 ,he liv$ ne>1 & sometimes att5d$ me 9 ! ,=ks ( ,delaw>e = m ?an a ye> toge!r2 b 0 extremely atta*$ to /rong dr9k1 & seem$ to be no ways re=m$4 ,9 ?is "t he likewise murd]$ a "y ,indian1 :i* ?rew him into a k9d ( desp]ation1 s t he kept f me1 & refus$ to he> me prea* = sev]al mon?s1 till ,i _h an opportunity ( conv]s+ freely ) him1 & giv+ him enc\ragem5t1 t ev5 8 s9 might be =giv5 = ,*ri/'s sake4 ,b t :i* 0 ! wor/ 0 8 conjuration4 ,he 0 "o ( !m :o are call$ p[w[s among ! ,indians3 & not)/&+ 8 att5dance ^u my prea*+1 /ill foll[$ 8 old *>ms1 8giv+ out t he himself 0 "s great "o1 & to him !y gave he$10 suppos+ him to be possess$ ( a great p[]4 ,s t :5 ,i h in/ruct$ !m respect+ ! miracles wr\ght by ,*ri/1 & m5tion$ !m z evid5ces ( 8 div9e mission1 !y h quickly obs]v$ ! wond]s :i* ?is man p]=m$ by 8 magic *>ms2 :i* seem$ to be a fatal ob/ruction to _! receiv+ ! gospel4 ,& ,i (t5 ?\ght1 x w\ld be a great fav\r to ! ,indians1 if ,god w\ld take t wret* out ( ! _w3 b ,god1 8^: ?\ghts are n z man's ?\ghts10 has be5 pleas$ to take a mu* m desirable me?od2 a me?od agreeable to 8 own m]ciful nature1 advantage\s to 8 own int]e/ among ! ,indians1 z well z to ! poor s\l himself4 ,! fir/ g5u9e conc]n = 8 s\l 0 excit$ by see+ my int]pret] & 8 wife baptiz$ at ! ,=ks ( ,delaw>e1 ,july #ba1 #agde4 ,:i* s prevail$ ^u him t he foll[$ me d[n to ,crosweeksung 9 ! beg9n+ ( ,augu/1 & !re cont9u$ = sev]al weeks 9 ! season ( ! mo/ p[]ful awak5+ among ! ,indians2 at :i* "t he 0 m effectually awak5$3 & !n1 he says1 ^u 8 8feel+ ! _s ( ,god 9 8 he>t10 7z he expresses x7 8 _s ( conjuration left him entirely2 t he has _h no m p[] ( t nature s9ce1 ?an any o!r man4 ,& he decl>es t he does n s mu* z "k h[ he us$ to *>m & conjure2 & t he c\ld n d any ?+ ( t nature1 if he 0 ev] s desir\s4 ,he cont9u$ "u convictions all ! fall1 & =m] "p ( ! w9t] pa/1 b 0 n s deeply ex]cis$ till ,janu>y2 & !n ! ^w ( ,god took su* hold ^u him1 t he knew n :at to d1 or :]e to turn4,he !n told me1 t :5 he us$ to he> me prea* f "t to "t 9 ! fall ( ! ye>1 my prea*+ prick$ 8 he>t1 b did n br+ him to s great di/ress1 because he /ill hop$ he c\ld d some?+ = 8 own relief3 b n[1 he said1 ,i drove him up into 8su* a %>p corn]10 t he _h no way to turn4 ,he cont9u$ "u ! heavy burd5 ( a w\nd$ _s1 till he 0 br\ght into ! utmo/ agony ( s\l4 ,aft] ?is he 0 br\ght to a k9d ( calmness2 he appe>$ p]fectly s$ate2 al?\gh he _h no sure hope ( salvation4 99,i obs]v$ him rem>kably compos$1 & ask$ him h[ he did8 ,he repli$1 8,x is done1 x is done1 x is all done n[40 ,i ask$ him :at he meant8 ,he answ]$1 8,i c nev] d any m to save myself2 x is all done = ev]1 ,i c d no m40 ,i qu]i$ ) him1 :e!r he c\ld n d a little m r ?an to g to hell4 ,he repli$1 8,my he>t is dead1 ,i c nev] help myself40 ,i ask$ him1 :at he ?\ght w\ld become ( him !n8 ,he answ]$1 8,i mu/ g to hell40 ,i ask$ him1 if he ?\ght x 0 "r t ,god %\ld s5d him to hell8 ,he repli$1 8,o x is "r4 ,! devil has be5 9 me ev] s9ce ,i 0 born40 ,i ask$ him1 if he felt ?is :5 he 0 9 su* great di/ress ! ev5+ be=e8 ,he answ]$1 8,no1 ,i did n ?9k x 0 "r4 ,i ?\ght ,god w\ld s5d me to hell1 & t ,i 0 !n dropp+ into x2 b my he>t qu>rell$ ) ,god1 & w\ld n say x 0 "r he %\ld s5d me !re4 ,b n[ ,i "k x is "r1 = ,i h always s]v$ ! devil1 & my he>t has no goodness 9 x n[1 b x is z bad z ev] x 010,i sc>ce ev] saw any p]son m effectually br\ght (f f a dep5d5ce ^u 8 own endeav\rs = salvation4 ,9 ?is frame ( m9d he cont9u$ = sev]al days1 pass+ s5t5ce ( condemnation ^u himself1 & con/antly own+1 t x w\ld be "r he %\ld be damn$1 & t he expect$ ?is w\ld be 8 portion4 ,& yet x 0 pla9 he _h a secret hope ( m]cy1 :i* kept him f press+ di/ress3 s t in/ead ( be+ sad & deject$1 8 v c\nt5ance appe>$ pleasant & agreeable4 99,x 0 rem>kable 9 ?is season t he seem$ to h a great love to ! p ( ,god1 & no?+ affect$ him s mu* z ! ?\ghts ( be+ sep>at$ f !m4 ,?is seem$ to be a v dreadful "p ( ! hell he ?\ght himself doom$ to4,x 0 likewise rem>kable1 t 9 ?is season he 0 mo/ dilig5t 9 ! use ( all means = 8 salvation2 al?\gh he _h ! cle>e/ view ( ! insuffici5cy ( means to af=d him help4 8effect$0 replac$ ) 8affect$0 p] ,errata 99,aft] he _h cont9u$ 9 ?is frame ( m9d m ?an a week1 :ile ,i 0 disc\rs+ publicly1 he seem$ to h a lively view ( ! excell5cy ( ,*ri/1 & ! way ( salvation by him1 :i* melt$ him into te>s1 & fill$ him ) admiration1 com=t1 & praise to ,god2 s9ce :i* he has appe>$ to be an humble1 dev\t1 & affectionate ,*ri/ian2 s]i\s & exempl>y 9 8 conv]sation & behavi\r1 frequ5tly compla9+ ( 8 want ( w>m?1 life1 & activity1 & yet frequ5tly fav\r$ ) quick5+ influ5ces4 ,& 9 all respects he be>s ! m>ks ( "o 8creat$ anew 9 ,*ri/ ,jesus40 ,8 zeal = ! cause ( ,god 0 pleas+ to me1 :5 he 0 ) me at ! ,=ks ( ,delaw>e 9 ,febru>y la/4 ,!re be+ an old ,indian :o ?reat5$ to bewit* me & my p :o accompani$ me2 ?is man *all5g$ him to d 8 wor/1 tell+ him1 t himself _h be5 z great a conjur] z he1 & t not)/&+ z soon z he felt t ^w 9 8 he>t :i* ^! p lov$1 8 p[] ( conjur+ imm$iately left him4,& s x w\ld y1 said he1 if y did b once feel x 9 y\r he>t2 & y h no p[] to t\* "o ( !m4 ,saturday1 ,may #aj4 ,i rode to ,all5's-,t[n1 to assi/ 9 ! adm9i/ration ( ! ,"l's supp]4 ,9 ! aft]noon ,i prea*$ f ,titus ii4 #ad4 ,god 0 pleas$ to c>ry me ?r\gh ) "s fre$om2 & yet to d5y me t enl>gem5t ,i long$ =4 ,9 ! ev5+ my s\l m\rn$1 t ,i _h treat$ s excell5t a subject 9 s defective a mann]4 ,& if my disc\rse _h met ) ! utmo/ applause f all ! _w1 x w\ld n h giv5 me any satisfaction3 ,oh1 x griev$ me to ?9k1 t ,i _h _h no m holy w>m?1 t ,i _h be5 no m melt$ 9 disc\rs+ ( ,*ri/'s dea?1 & ! design ( x6 ,aft]w>ds1 ,i enjoy$ fre$om & f]v5cy 9 secret & family pray]1 & long$ mu* = ! pres5ce ( ,god to att5d 8 ^w & ord9ances ! next day4 ,"l's-day1 ,may #aa4 ,i assi/$ 9 ! adm9i/ration ( ! ,"l's supp]2 b enjoy$ little enl>gem5t4 ,9 ! aft]noon ,i w5t to ! h\se ( ,god weak & sick 9 s\l1 z well z feeble 9 body3 & long$1 t ! p might be edifi$ ) div9e tru?s1 & t an hone/ f]v5t te/imony might be borne = ,god2 b knew n h[ x 0 possible = me to d any ?+ ( t k9d1 to any good purpose4 ,yet ,god1 :o is ri* 9 m]cy1 0 pleas$ to give me assi/ance1 bo? 9 pray] & prea*+3 ,god help$ me to wre/le = 8 pres5ce 9 pray]1 & to tell him1 t he _h promis$1 8,:]e two or ?ree are met toge!r 9 8 "n1 !re he w\ld be 9 ! mid/ ( !m20 & plead$1 t = 8 tru?'s sake he w\ld be ) u4 ,& bless$ be ,god1 x 0 sweet to my s\l1 ?us to plead1 & rely on ,god's promises4 ,i disc\rs$ ^u ,luke ix4 #cj4 8,& behold !re talk$ ) him two m51 :i* 7 ,moses & ,elias2 :o appe>$ 9 glory1 & spake ( 8 decease1 :i* he %\ld accompli% at ,j]usalem40 ,i enjoy$ special fre$om1 f ! beg9n+ to ! end ( my disc\rse4 ,?+s p]t95t to ! subject 7 abundantly pres5t$ to my view2 & su* a fullness ( matt]1 t ,i sc>ce knew h[ to dismiss ! v>i\s heads ,i _h occasion to t\* ^u4 ,&1 bless$ be ! ,"l1 ,i 0 fav\r$ ) f]v5cy & p[]1 z well z fre$om2 s t ! ^w ( ,god seem$ to awak5 ! att5tion ( a /upid audi5ce1 to a consid]able degree4 ,i 0 inw>dly refre%$ ) ! consolations ( ,god2 & c\ld ) my :ole he>t say1 8,?\gh !re be no fruit 9 ! v9e1 c4 yet w ,i rejoice 9 ! ,"l40 ,friday1 ,may #af4 ,i enjoy$ "s agreeable conv]sation ) a de> m9i/]1 :i* 0 bless$ to my s\l2 my he>t 0 w>m$1 & my s\l engag$ to live to ,god2 s t ,i long$ to ex]t myself ) m vig\r1 ?an ev] ,i _h done 9 8 cause2 & ^? words 7 quick5+ to me1 8,h]e9 is my ,fa!r glorifi$1 t ye br+ =? mu* fruit40 ,oh1 my s\l long$1 & wi%$1 & pray$1 to be enabl$ to live to ,god ) con/ancy & ard\r6 ,9 ! ev5+1 ,god 0 pleas$ to %9e ^u me 9 secret pray]1 & draw out my s\l aft] himself3 & ,i _h fre$om 9 supplication = myself1 b mu* m 9 int]cession = o!rs3 s t ,i 0 sweetly con/ra9$ to say1 8,"l1 use me z ?\ wilt2 d z ?\ wilt ) me3 b ,oh1 promote ?9e own cause6 ,zion is ?9e2 ,oh visit ?9e h]itage6 ,oh let ?y k+dom come6 ,oh let ?y bless$ int]e/ be advanc$ 9 ! _w60 ,:5 ,i attempt$ to look to ,god1 respect+ my settl+ 9 my congregation1 :i* seems to be necess>y1 & yet contr>y to my fix$ int5tion = ye>s pa/1 z well z my disposition1 :i* has be51 & /ill is1 to sp5d my life 9 prea*+ ! gospel f place to place1 & ga!r+ s\ls af> (f to ,jesus ! great ,r$eem]2 :5 ,i attempt$ to look to ,god ) reg>d to ^! ?+s1 ,i c\ld only say1 8,! w ( ! ,"l be done3 x is no matt] = me40 99,! same frame ( m9d ,i felt ) respect to ano!r important affair ,i h lately _h "s s]i\s ?\ghts (3 ,i c\ld say1 ) ! utmo/ calmness & composure1 8,"l1 if x be mo/ = ?y glory1 let me proce$ 9 x3 b if ?\ see/ t x w 9 any wise h9d] my usefulness 9 ?y cause1 ,oh prev5t my proce$+3 = all ,i want1 is su* circum/ances z may be/ capacitate me to d s]vice = ,god 9 ! _w40 ,oh1 h[ sweet 0 ?is ev5+ to my s\l6 ,i knew n h[ to g to b$2 & :5 got to b$1 long$ = "s way to employ "t = ,god to "s excell5t purpose4 ,saturday1 ,may #ag4 ,i walk$ out 9 ! morn+1 & felt mu* ( ! same frame ,i enjoy$ ! ev5+ be=e3 _h my he>t enl>g$ 9 pray+ = ! advancem5t ( ! k+dom ( ,*ri/1 & f\nd ! utmo/ fre$om 9 leav+ all my conc]ns ) ,god4 99,i f9d disc\ragem5t to be an exce$+ h9drance to my spiritual f]v5cy & affection3 b :5 ,god enables me to f9d t ,i h done some?+ = him1 ?is animates me1 s t ,i c\ld break ?r\gh all h>d%ips1 und]go any lab\rs1 & no?+ seems too mu* ei!r to d or suff]4 ,b ,oh1 :at a dea? x is1 to /rive1 & /rive2 to be always 9 a hurry1 & yet d no?+4 ,alas1 alas1 t "t flies away1 & ,i d s little = ,god6 ,"l's-day1 ,may #ah4 ,i felt my own utt] insuffici5cy = my "w3 ,god made me to see1 t ,i 0 a *ild2 yea1 t ,i 0 a fool4 ,i disc\rs$ bo? p>ts ( ! day1 f ,revelation iii4 #bj4 8,behold ,i /& at ! door1 & knock40 ,god gave me fre$om & p[] 9 ! latt] "p ( my 7=5oon's7 disc\rse1 al?\gh 9 ! =m] "p ( x1 ,i felt peevi% & provok$ ) ! unmann]ly behavi\r ( ! :ite p1 :o cr\d$ 9 betwe5 my p & me4 ,b bless$ be ,god ,i got ^? %ackles (f be=e ! middle ( my disc\rse1 & 0 fav\r$ ) a sweet frame ( _s 9 ! latt] "p ( ! ex]cise3 0 full ( love1 w>m?1 & t5d]ness1 9 address+ my de> p4,9 ! int]mission-season ,i c\ld n b disc\rse to my p on ! k9dness & pati5ce ( ,*ri/ 9 /&+ & knock+ at ! door4,9 ! ev5+1 ,i 0 griev$ t ,i _h done s little = ,god4 ,oh t ,i c\ld be a flame ( fire 9 ! s]vice ( my ,god6 99,?ursday1 ,may #bb4 ,9 ! ev5+ ,i 0 9 a frame some:at rem>kable3 ,i _h appreh5d$ = sev]al days1 t x 0 a design ( provid5ce ,i %\ld settle among my p2 & _h 9 my own m9d began to make provision = x3 & yet 0 nev] q pleas$ ) ! ?\ghts ( be+ conf9$ to "o place4 ,nev]!less ,i seem$ to h "s fre$om1 because ! congregation 0 "o t ,god _h enabl$ me to ga!r f among ,pagans4 ,= ,i nev] c\ld feel any fre$om to 8ent] into o!r m5's lab\r10 & settle :]e ! 8gospel 0 prea*$ be=e20 ,god has nev] giv5 me any lib]ty 9 t respect1 ei!r s9ce or = "s ye>s be=e ,i began to prea*4 ,b ,god hav+ succe$$ my lab\rs1 9 ga!r+ a *ur* among ^! ,indians1 ,i 0 ready to ?9k1 x might be 8 design to give me a quiet settlem5t4 ,& ?is1 consid]+ ! late frequ5t failure ( my spirits1 & ! ne$ ,i /ood 9 ( "s agreeable society1 & my great desire ( enjoy+ conv5i5cies = pr(itable /udies1 0 n altoge!r disagreeable to me4 ,& al?\gh ,i /ill want$ to g ab\t f> & wide1 9 ord] to spread ! bless$ gospel among b5ight$ s\ls3 yet ,i nev] _h be5 s will+ to settle = m ?an five ye>s pa/1 z ,i 0 9 ! =ego+ "p ( ?is week4 ,b n[ ^! ?\ghts seem$ to be :olly da%$ to pieces2 n by necessity1 b ( *oice3 = x appe>$ to me1 t ,god's deal+s t[>ds me _h fitt$ me = a life ( solit>9ess & h>d%ip2 x appe>$ to me ,i _h no?+ to d ) e>?1 & consequ5tly no?+ to lose1 by a total r5unciation ( x3 & x appe>$ j "r1 t ,i %\ld be de/itute ( h\se & home1 & _m com=ts1 :i* ,i rejoic$ to see o!rs ( ,god's p enjoy4 ,! same "t ,i saw s mu* ! excell5cy ( ,*ri/'s k+dom1 & ! inf9ite desirabl5ess ( its advancem5t 9 ! _w1 t x swall[$ up all my o!r ?\ghts2 & made me will+ to be a pilgrim or h]mit 9 ! wild]ness1 to my dy+ mom5t1 if ,i might !reby promote ! bless$ int]e/ ( ! great ,r$eem]4 ,& if ev] my s\l pres5t$ itself to ,god = 8 s]vice1 )\t any res]ve ( any k9d1 x did s n[4 ,! language ( my ?\ghts 7al?\gh ,i spake no words7 n[ 01 8,"h ,i am1 ,"l1 s5d me3 s5d me to ! ends ( ! e>?2 s5d me to ! r\gh1 ! savage ,pagans ( ! wild]ness2 s5d me f all t is call$ com=t 9 e>?6 s5d me ev5 to dea? itself1 if x be b 9 ?y s]vice1 & to promote ?y k+dom40 ,& at ! same "t ,i _h z quick & lively a s5se ( ! value ( worldly com=ts1 z ev] ,i _h2 b saw !m inf9itely ov]mat*$ by ! wor? ( ,*ri/'s k+dom1 & ! propagation ( 8 bless$ gospel4 ,! quiet settlem5t1 ! c]ta9 place ( abode1 ! t5d] fri5d%ip1 :i* ,i ?\ght ,i might be likely to enjoy1 appe>$ z valuable to me1 consid]$ absolutely1 z ev] be=e3 b consid]$ comp>atively1 !y appe>$ no?+2 comp>$ ) an enl>gem5t ( ,*ri/'s k+dom1 !y vani%$ l ! />s be=e ! ris+ sun4 ,& ! com=table accommodations ( life appe>$ valuable1 yet ,i did surr5d] myself1 s\l & body1 to ! s]vice ( ,god1 & promotion ( ,*ri/'s k+dom2 ?\gh x %\ld be 9 ! loss ( !m all4 ,i 0 con/ra9$1 & yet *ose to say1 8,f>ewell1 fri5ds & e>?ly com=ts1 ! de>e/ ( !m all1 if ! ,"l calls = x2 adieu1 adieu2 ,i'll sp5d my life to my late/ mom5ts1 9 caves & d5s ( ! e>?1 if ! k+dom ( ,*ri/ may !reby be advanc$40 ,i f\nd extraord9>y fre$om at ?is "t 9 p\r+ out my s\l to ,god1 = 8 cause2 & especially t 8 k+dom might be ext5d$ among ! ,indians2 & ,i _h a /rong hope t ,god w\ld d x4 ,i cont9u$ wre/l+ ) ,god 9 pray] = my de> little flock "h2 & m especially = ! ,indians else:]e2 z well z = de> fri5ds 9 "o place & ano!r2 till x 0 b$-"t1 & ,i fe>$ ,i %\ld h9d] ! family4 ,b ,oh1 ) :at reluctancy did ,i f9d myself oblig$ to consume "t 9 sleep6 ,i long$ to be z a flame ( fire1 cont9ually gl[+ 9 ! div9e s]vice1 prea*+ & build+ up ,*ri/'s k+dom1 to my late/1 my dy+ mom5t4 a/]isk add$ p] ,errata ,friday1 ,may #bc4 ,9 ! morn+ ,i 0 9 ! same frame ( m9d4 ,! glory ( ,*ri/'s k+dom s mu* out%one ! pleasure ( e>?ly accommodations & enjoym5ts1 t !y appe>$ comp>atively no?+4 ,my s\l 0 melt$ 9 secret1 & ,i f\nd myself divorc$ f any "p 9 ?is _w s t 9 ^? affairs t seem$ ( ! greate/ importance1 9 ! pres5t life1 & ^? :]e9 ! t5d] p[]s ( ! m9d are mo/ s5sibly t\*$1 ,i c\ld only say1 8,! w ( ! ,"l be done40 ,j ! same t ,i felt ! ev5+ be=e1 ,i n[ felt ! same fre$om 9 pray] = ! p ( my *>ge1 = ! propagation ( ! gospel among ! ,indians1 = ! enl>gem5t ( ,zion 9 g5]al1 & my de> fri5ds 9 p>ticul>2 & long$ to burn out 9 "o cont9u$ flame = ,god4 ,if ev] ,i fill$ up a day ) /udy & devotion1 ,i 0 enabl$ to fill up ?is day4 8devorc$0 replac$ ) 8divorc$0 ,"l's-day1 ,may #be4 ,!re 0 "s degree ( div9e p[] att5d+ ! ^w ( ,god4 ,sundry wept & appe>$ consid]ably affect$3 & "o :o _h long be5 "u spiritual tr\ble1 obta9$ cle>ness & com=t1 & appe>$ to 8rejoice 9 ,god h] ,savi\r40 ,i h reason to hope1 t ,god has lately br\ght home to himself sundry s\ls :o _h long be5 "u spiritual tr\ble3 ?\gh !re h be5 b few in/ances ( p]sons lately awak5$4 ,& ^? com=t$ ( late1 seem to be br\ght 91 9 a m sil5t way1 nei!r _! conc]n nor consolation be+ s rem>kable1 z appe>$ among ^? wr\ght ^u 9 ! beg9n+4 ,june #f4 ,i disc\rs$ to my p f "p ( ,isaiah liii4,! div9e pres5ce appe>$ to be among u4 ,div]s p]sons 7 mu* melt$ & refre%$2 & "o man 9 p>ticul>1 0 n[ br\ght to see & feel1 9 a v lively mann]1 ! impossibility ( 8 do+ any ?+ to help himself1 or br+ him into ! fav\r ( ,god by 8 te>s1 pray]s1 & o!r religi\s p]=mances4 ,saturday1 ,june #g4 ,i rode to ,freehold to assi/ ,mr4 ,t5n5t 9 ! adm9i/ration ( ! ,"l's supp]4 ,9 ! aft]noon ,i prea*$1 ,god gave me fre$om & w>m? 9 my disc\rse3 & 8 pres5ce 0 9 ! assembly4 ,i 0 compos$1 & enjoy$ a ?ankful frame ( _s2 & my s\l 0 griev$ t ,i c\ld n r5d] some?+ to ,god = 8 b5efits4 ,o t ,i c\ld be swall[$ up 9 8 praise4 ,"l's-day1 ,june #h4 ,i 0 agreeably ent]ta9$ 9 ! =5oon by a disc\rse f ,mr4 ,t5n5t4 ,9 ! season ( communion1 ,i enjoy$ com=t2 x 0 a "t ( refre%+ to me1 & to _m o!rs4 ,a numb] ( my de> p sat d[n by !mselves at ! la/ table2 at :i* "t ,god seem$ to be 9 ! mid/ ( !m4,& ! ?\ghts ( :at ,god _h done among !m 7 refre%+ to me4 ,9 ! aft]noon1 ,god enabl$ me to prea* ) uncommon fre$om4 ,?r\gh ! goodness ( ,god1 ,i 0 fav\r$ ) a con/ant fl[ ( matt]1 & prop] expressions4 ,9 ! ev5+ ,i c\ld n b rejoice 9 ,god1 & bless him = ! manife/ations ( grace 9 ! day pa/4 ,oh x 0 a sweet & solemn day6 ,a season ( com=t to ! godly1 & ( awak5+ to o!r s\ls4 ,monday1 ,june #i4 ,i prea*$ ! conclud+ s]mon f ,g5esis v4 #bd4 8,& ,eno* walk$ ) ,god40 ,god gave me enl>gem5t & f]v5cy 9 my disc\rse2 s t ,i 0 enabl$ to speak ) pla9ness & p[]4 ,prais$ be ! ,"l1 x 0 a sweet meet+4 ,i f\nd my /r5g? r5ew$1 ev5 to a wond]2 s t ,i felt mu* /rong] at ! conclusion ?an 9 ! beg9n+4 ,i h great reason to bless ,god = ?is solemnity1 :]e9 ,i h f\nd assi/ance 9 address+ o!rs1 & sweetness 9 my own s\l4 8beg9+0 replac$ ) 8beg9n+0 ,to-day a consid]able numb] ( my p met toge!r e>ly 9 ! woods1 & pray$1 sang1 & conv]s$ ( div9e ?+s2 & 7 se5 by "s ( ! :ite p to be affect$1 & div]s ( !m 9 te>s4 ,aft]w>ds !y att5d$ ! conclud+ ex]cises ( ! sacram5tal solemnity1 & !n return$ home1 8rejoic+ = all ! goodness ( ,god0 !y _h se5 & felt3 s t ?is 0 a pr(itable1 z well z a com=table season to _m ( my congregation4 ,friday1 ,june #ac4;,i came away rejoic+ & bless+ ,god = 8 grace manife/$ at ?is season4 ,! same day ,i baptiz$ five p]sons1 ?ree adults & two *ildr54 ,"o ( ^! 0 ! v ag$ woman ( :om ,i gave an acc\nt 9 my j\rnal ( ,decemb] #bf4 ,%e n[ gave me a v punctual1 rational1 & satisfactory acc\nt ( ! rem>kable *ange %e exp]i5c$ "s mon?s aft] ! beg9n+ ( h] conc]n4 ,& al?\gh %e 0 become s *ildi% ?r\gh old age t ,i c\ld d no?+ 9 a way ( que/ion+ ) h]2 yet1 :5 ,i let h] alone to g on ) h] own /ory1 %e c\ld give a v di/9ct relation ( ! v>i\s ex]cises ( s\l %e _h exp]i5c$2 s deep 7 ! impressions left ^u h] m9d by t influ5ce %e _h be5 "u6 ,& ,i h great reason to hope1 %e is born anew 9 h] old age1 be+1 upw>ds ( f\rscore4 ,saturday1 ,june #ad4 ,i rode to ,k+/on1 to assi/ ! ,rev4 ,mr4 ,wales 9 ! adm9i/ration ( ! ,"l's-supp]4 ,9 ! aft]noon ,i prea*$2 b almo/ fa9t$ 9 ! pulpit3 yet ,god /r5g!n$ me :5 ,i 0 j gone1 & enabl$ me to speak 8 ^w ) fre$om1 f]v5cy1 & application to ! consci5ce4 ,& prais$ be ! ,"l3 8out ( weakness ,i 0 made /rong40 ,i enjoy$ sweetness1 9 & aft] public wor%ip2 b 0 extremely tir$4 ,oh1 h[ _m are ! m]cies ( ! ,"l6 8,to !m t h no might1 he increase? /r5g?40 ,"l's-day1 ,june #ae4 ,i 0 deject$ s t ,i c\ld n hold up my head4 ,yet ,i adm9i/]$ ! ,"l's-supp] at ,mr4 ,wales's desire3 & f\nd myself 9 a good measure reliev$ ( my press+ load1 :5 ,i came to ask a bless+ on ! elem5ts2 "h ,god gave me enl>gem5t1 & a t5d] affectionate s5se ( spiritual ?+s3 s t x 0 a season ( com=t to me1 & ,i tru/ m s to o!rs4 ,9 ! aft]noon ,i prea*$ to a va/ multitude f ,revelation xxii4 #ag4 ,god help$ me to (f] a te/imony = himself1 & to leave s9n]s inexcusable4 ,i 0 enabl$ to speak ) su* fre$om1 flu5cy1 & cle>ness1 z comm&$ ! att5tion ( ! great4 ,i 0 extremely tir$ 9 ! ev5+ b enjoy$ composure & sweetness4 ,monday1 ,june #af4 ,i prea*$ aga92 & ,god help$ me amaz+ly1 s t ?is 0 a refre%+ season to my s\l & o!rs4 ,= ev] bless$ be ,god = help1 :5 my body 0 s weak1 & !re 0 s l>ge an assembly4 ,june #ai4 ,i visit$ my p ) two ( ! rev]5d correspond5ts3 ,i sp5t "s "t 9 conv]sation ) !m ^u spiritual ?+s2 & took c>e ( _! worldly conc]ns4 ,?is day makes up a complete ye> f ! fir/ "t ( my prea*+ to ^! ,indians 9 ,new-,j]sey4,:at amaz+ ?+s has ,god wr\ght 9 ?is "t = ^! poor p6 ,:at a surpris+ *ange appe>s 9 _! temp]s & behavi\r6 ,h[ are savage ,pagans trans=m$ into affectionate1 & humble ,*ri/ians6 ,& _! drunk5 & pagan h[l+s1 turn$ into f]v5t pray]s & praises to ,god6 ,!y 8:o 7 sometimes d>kness1 are n[ become light 9 ! ,"l40 ,may !y walk z *ildr5 ( ! light1 & ( ! day4 ,& n[ to him t is ( p[] to e/abli% !m accord+ to ! gospel4,to ,god only wise1 be glory1 ?r\gh ,jesus ,*ri/1 = ev] & ev]6 ,am54 ,be=e ,i conclude1 ,i w\ld make a few g5]al rem>ks ^u :at to me appe>s wor?y ( notice4 ,&1 fir/1 ,i _c b take notice t ,i h ev] s9ce my fir/ com+ among ! ,indians1 be5 fav\r$ ) t assi/ance1 :i* 7to me7 is uncommon1 9 prea*+ ,*ri/ crucifi$1 & mak+ him ! c5t] & m>k to :i* all my disc\rses 7 direct$4 99,x 0 ! pr9cipal scope ( all my disc\rses = sev]al mon?s1 7aft] hav+ taught ! p some?+ ( ! be+ & p]fections ( ,god1 8 creation ( man 9 a /ate ( rectitude & happ9ess1 & ! obligations mank9d 7 !nce "u to love & hon\r him17 to lead !m into an acqua9tance ) _! deplorable /ate by nature3 _! inability to deliv] !mselves f x3 ! utt] insuffici5cy ( any ext]nal re=mation1 or ( any religi\s p]=mances1 to br+ !m into ! fav\r ( ,god4 ,& !nce to %ew !m _! absolute ne$ ( ,*ri/ to save !m f ! mis]y ( _! fall5 /ate4,to op5 8 all-suffici5cy & will+ness to save ! *ief ( s9n]s4,! fre5ess & ri*es ( 8 grace1 propos$ 8)\t money1 & )\t price40,& !reupon to press !m )\t delay to betake !mselves to him1 "u a s5se ( _! mis]y & undone e/ate1 = relief & ev]la/+ salvation4,& to %ew !m ! abundant enc\ragem5t ! gospel proposes to1 p]i%+1 helpless s9n]s1 s to d4 99,& ,i h (t5 rem>k$1 t :atev] subject ,i h be5 ^u1 aft] hav+ expla9$ ! tru?s conta9$ !re91 ,i h be5 naturally & easily l$ to ,*ri/ z ! sub/ance ( e "o4 ,if ,i treat$ on ! be+ & glori\s p]fections ( ,god1 ,i 0 !nce naturally l$ to disc\rse ( ,*ri/ z ! only 8way to ! ,fa!r40,if ,i attempt$ to op5 ! mis]y ( our fall5 /ate1 x 0 natural f !nce to %ew ! necessity ( ,*ri/ to und]take = u1 to atone = our s9s1 & to r$eem u f ! p[] ( !m4,if ,i taught ! comm&s ( ,god1 & %ew$ our violation ( !m1 ?is br\ght me 9 ! mo/ easy way1 to speak ( ! ,"l ,jesus ,*ri/1 z "o :o _h 8magnifi$ ! law0 we _h brok51 & :o 0 8become ! end ( x = righte\sness1 to e "o t believes40 ,& nev] did ,i f9d s mu* fre$om & assi/ance 9 mak+ all ! v>i\s l9es ( my disc\rses meet toge!r1 & c5t] 9 ,*ri/1 z ,i h frequ5tly done among ^! ,indians4 99,i h frequ5tly be5 enabl$ to repres5t ! div9e glory1 ! inf9ite preci\sness & transc5d5t lovel9ess ( ! great ,r$eem]2 ! suitabl5ess ( 8 p]son & pur*ase to supply ! wants1 & answ] ! utmo/ desires ( immortal s\ls4,to op5 ! inf9ite ri*es ( 8 grace1 & ! wond]ful enc\ragem5t propos$ 9 ! gospel to unwor?y1 helpless s9n]s4,to call1 invite1 & besee* !m to come & give up !mselves to him1 & be reconcil$ to ,god ?r\gh him4,to expo/ulate ) !m respect+ _! neglect ( "o s inf9itely lovely1 & freely (f]$4,& ?is 9 su* a mann]1 ) su* fre$om1 p]t95cy1 pa?os1 & application to ! consci5ce1 z ,i nev] c\ld h made myself ma/] ( by ! mo/ assidu\s application4 ,& ,i h (t5 at su* seasons be5 surpris+ly help$ 9 adapt+ my disc\rses to ! capacities ( my p1 & br++ !m d[n into su* easy1 vulg>1 & famili> me?ods ( expression1 z has r5d]$ !m intelligible ev5 to ,pagans4 ,secondly1 ,x is wor?y ( rem>k1 t numb]s ( ^! p are br\ght to a /rict compliance ) ! rules ( morality & sobriety1 & to a consci5ti\s p]=mance ( ! ext]nal duties ( ,*ri/ianity2 )\t _! hav+ !m frequ5tly inculcat$ ^u !m4 ,god 0 pleas$ to give ! gr& gospel tru?s su* a p[]ful influ5ce ^u _! m9ds1 t _! lives 7 quickly re=m$1 )\t repeat$ h>angues ^u ext]nal duties4 ,!re 0 inde$ no room = any disc\rses b ^? t respect$ ! ess5tials ( religion1 & ! exp]im5tal k ( div9e ?+s1 :ile !re 7 s _m inquir+ daily1 n h[ !y %\ld regulate _! ext]nal conduct2 b h[ !y %\ld escape f ! wra? to comeobta9 an effectual *ange ( he>t1 & get an int]e/ 9 ,*ri/4,s t my great "w /ill 0 to lead !m into a fur!r view ( _! total depravity3 to %ew t !re 0 no goodness 9 !m3 no good dispositions or desires2 no love to ,god1 or delight 9 8 comm&s2 b1 on ! contr>y1 hatr$1 enmity1 & all mann] ( wick$ness4,& at ! same "t to op5 to !m ! glori\s rem$y provid$ 9 ,*ri/ = helpless p]i%+ s9n]s1 & (f]$ freely to ^? :o h no goodness ( _! own1 no 8works ( righte\sness10 to recomm5d !m to ,god4 8w]ely0 replac$ ) 870 ,:5 ^! tru?s 7 felt at he>t1 !re 0 no vice unre=m$1 no ext]nal duty neglect$4,drunk5ness1 ! d>l+ vice1 0 brok5 (f1 & sc>ce an in/ance ( x kn[n = mon?s toge!r4 ,! practice ( husb&s & wives 9 putt+ away ea* o!r1 & tak+ o!rs1 0 quickly re=m$4 ,! same might be said ( all o!r vices4,! re=mation 0 g5]al2 f ! int]nal influ5ce ( div9e tru?s ^u _! he>ts2 & n because !y _h he>d ^! vices p>ticul>ly expos$1 & repeat$ly spok5 aga9/4 99,s t exp]i5ce1 z well z ! ^w ( ,god1 & ! example ( ,*ri/ & 8 apo/les1 h taught me1 t ! prea*+1 :i* is be/ suit$ to awak5 9 mank9d a lively appreh5sion ( _! depravity & mis]y1to excite !m e>ne/ly to seek aft] a *ange ( he>t1 & to fly = refuge to ,*ri/1 z ! only hope set be=e !m1 is mo/ successful t[>d ! re=mation ( _! ext]nal conduct4,i h f\nd t close applications ( div9e tru? to ! consci5ce1 /rike dea? to ! root ( all vice2 :ile smoo? h>angues ^u moral virtues & ext]nal duties1 at be/ only lop (f ! bran*es ( corruption4 ,i d n int5d to repres5t ! prea*+ ( morality1 & press+ p]sons to ! ext]nal p]=mance ( duty1 to be unnecess>y at any "t2 especially :5 !re is less ( div9e p[] att5d+ ! means ( grace4,x is d\btless among ! ?+s t 8ought to be done10 :ile 8o!rs are n to be left undone40,b :at ,i pr9cipally design is a pla9 matt] ( fact1 viz4 ,t ! ext]nal compliance ) ! rules ( ,*ri/ianity1 appe>+ among my p1 is n ! effect ( any m]ely rational view ( ! beauty ( morality1 b ( ! int]nal influ5ce t div9e tru?s h _h ^u _! he>ts4 ,?irdly1 ,x is rem>kable1 t ,god has s cont9u$ & r5ew$ ! %[]s ( 8 grace3 s quickly set up 8 k+dom among ^! p2 & s smil$ ^u !m 9 _! acquirem5t ( k1 bo? div9e & human4 ,x is n[ ne> a ye> s9ce ! beg9n+ ( ?is graci\s out-p\r+ ( ! div9e ,_s2 & al?\gh x has (t5 seem$ to decl9e = "s %ort "t1 yet ! "w ( grace reviv$ aga93 s t a div9e influ5ce seems /ill to att5d ! means ( grace1 9 a great] or less degree3 :]eby religi\s p]sons are refre%$1 /r5g!n$1 & e/abli%$1convictions reviv$ & promot$ 9 _m1& "s newly awak5$ f "t to "t4 ,al?\gh x mu/ be ackn[l$g$1 t = "s "t pa/1 !re has appe>$ a m manife/ decl9e ( ?is "w4 ,b 7bless$ be ,god7 !re is /ill an appe>ance ( div9e p[]1 a desirable degree ( t5d]ness1 & devotion 9 our assemblies4 ,& z ,god has cont9u$ ! %[]s ( 8 grace among ?is p2 s he has ) uncommon quickness set up 8 k+dom 9 ! mid/ ( !m4 ,i h n[ baptiz$1 s9ce ! conclusion ( my la/ j\rnal1 ?irty p]sons1 fifte5 adults1 & fifte5 *ildr54 ,:i* add$ to ! numb] !re m5tion$1 makes sev5ty-sev5 p]sons2 :]e( ?irty-eight are adults & ?irty-n9e *ildr53 & all )9 ! space ( elev5 mon?s pa/4,& ,i h baptiz$ no adults1 b su* z appe>$ to h a "w ( grace 9 _! he>ts3 su* z h exp]i5c$ n only ! awak5+1 b ! r5ew+ & com=t+ influ5ces ( ! div9e ,_s4 ,mu* ( ! goodness ( ,god has appe>$ 9 _! acquirem5t ( k1 bo? 9 religion & 9 common life4 ,!re has be5 a wond]ful ?ir/ aft] ,*ri/ian k among !m1 & an eag] desire ( be+ in/ruct$4 ,?is has mov$ !m to ask _m p]t95t z well z important que/ions4 ,_m ( ! doctr9es ,i h deliv]$1 !y h qu]i$ ) me ab\t1 9 ord] to ga9 fur!r light into !m3 & f "t to "t manife/$ a good und]/&+ ( !m1 by _! answ]s to ! que/ions propos$4 ,!y h likewise appe>$ rem>kably apt 9 le>n+ to s+ psalms1 & are n[ able to s+ well4 ,!y h also acquir$ a consid]able degree ( k 9 ! affairs ( common life3 s t !y n[ appe> l rational creatures1 fit = human society1 free f t savage r\ghness & bruti% /upidity1 :i* !y _h 9 _! ,pagan /ate4 ,& z !y are desir\s ( in/ruction1 & surpris+ly apt 9 ! reception ( x1 s div9e provid5ce has smil$ ^u !m 9 reg>d ( prop] means 9 ord] to x4,! attempts made = a s*ool among !m h succe$$1 & !y h a s*ool-ma/]1 ( :om ,i may ju/ly say1 ,i "k ( 8no man l-m9d$1 :o w naturally c>e = _! /ate40 ,he has g5]ally ?irty or ?irty-five *ildr5 9 8 s*ool3 & :5 he kept an ev5+-s*ool 7z he did 9 ! long ev5+s71 he _h fifte5 or tw5ty p1 m>ri$ & s+le4 8ev5+0 replac$ ) 8ev5+-s*ool0 p] ,errata ,! *ildr5 le>n ) surpris+ read9ess2 s t _! ma/] tells me1 he nev] _h an ,engli% s*ool t le>n$1 9 g5]al1 ne> s fa/4 ,!re 7 n above two 9 ?irty1 al?\gh "s ( !m 7 v small1 b :at le>n$ to "k all ! lett]s 9 ! alphabet di/9ctly1 )9 ?ree days1 & div]s 9 t space le>n$ to spell consid]ably2 & "s ( !m s9ce ! beg9n+ ( ,febru>y la/ 7at :i* "t ! s*ool 0 set up7 h le>n$ s mu*1 t !y are able to read 9 a ,psalt] or ,te/am5t )\t spell+4 ,!y are in/ruct$ 9 ! duty ( secret pray]2 & mo/ ( !m con/antly att5d x night & morn+1 & are v c>eful to in=m _! ma/] if !y appreh5d any ( _! little s*ool-mates neglect x4 ,f\r?ly4 ,x is wor?y to be not$1 t amid/ s great a "w ( conviction1s mu* conc]n & religi\s affection1 !re has be5 no preval5cy1 nor inde$ any consid]able appe>ance ( false religion1 or heats ( imag9ation1 intemp]ate zeal1 & spiritual pride2 7:i* corrupt mixtures too (t5 att5d ! revival ( religion7 & t !re h be5 s v few in/ances ( sc&al\s behavi\r4 ,! religi\s conc]n t p]sons h be5 "u1 has g5]ally be5 rational & j3 aris+ f a s5se ( _! s9s1 & ! div9e displeasure on ! acc\nt ( !m2 z well z _! utt] inability to deliv] !mselves f ! mis]y !y felt & fe>$4,& x is rem>kable1 al?\gh ! conc]n ( _m p]sons has be5 v great & press+1 yet ,i h nev] se5 any ?+ l despair att5d+ x 9 any "o in/ance3 :5ce x is app>5t1 !re is n t dang] ( p]sons be+ driv5 into despair "u spiritual tr\ble1 7unless 9 cases ( melan*oly17 t ! _w is ready to imag9e4 ,! com=t p]sons h obta9$ aft] _! di/resses1 has likewise 9 g5]al appe>$ solid1 well-gr\nd$1 & scriptural2 aris+ f a spiritual & sup]natural illum9ation ( m9d1a view ( div9e ?+s z !y are1 a complac5cy ( s\l 9 ! div9e p]fections1& a peculi> satisfaction 9 ! way ( salvation1 by ! great ,r$eem]4 8well-gr\n$0 replac$ ) 8well-gr\nd$0 99,_! joys h seem$ to rise f a v>iety ( views ( div9e ?+s1 al?\gh = sub/ance ! same4 ,"s h at fir/ appe>$ to rejoice1 especially 9 ! wisdom ( ,god1 discov]$ 9 ! way ( salvation by ,*ri/2 x !n appe>+ to !m 8a new way10 a way !y _h nev] any j conception (1 until op5$ to !m by ! div9e ,_s4 ,& "s ( !m1 ^u a spiritual view ( ?is way ( salvation1 h wond]$ at _! pa/ folly 9 seek+ salvation o!r ways1 & h admir$ t !y nev] saw ?is way ( salvation be=e1 :i* n[ appe>$ s pla9 & easy4 ,o!rs h _h a m g5]al view ( ! excell5cy ( ,*ri/1 be+ delight$ ) an appreh5sion ( 8 glory1 z unspeakably exce$+ all !y _h ev] conceiv$ be=e2 yet )\t s+l+ out 7z x 77 any "o ( ! div9e p]fections 9 p>ticul>4 99,:at ! ,indians notions ( ,god are1 9 _! ,pagan /ate1 is h>d to det]m9e4 ,i h tak5 mu* pa9s to enquire ( my ,*ri/ian p1 :e!r !y1 be=e _! acqua9tance ) ,*ri/ianity1 imag9$ !re 0 a plurality ( great invisible p[]s1 or :e!r !y suppos$ b "o su* be+1 & wor%ipp$ him 9 a v>iety ( %apes3 b _c le>n any ?+ ( !m s di/9ct z to be fully satisfy+ ^u ! po9t4 ,_! notions 9 t /ate 7 s d>k & confus$1 t !y seem n to "k :at !y ?\ght !mselves4 ,b s f> z ,i c le>n1 !y _h a notion ( a plurality ( invisible deities1 & paid "s k9d ( homage to !m promiscu\sly1 "u a great v>iety ( %apes4 ,& x is c]ta9 ^? :o yet rema9 ,pagans pay "s k9d ( sup]/iti\s rev]5ce to bea/s1 birds1 fi%es1 & ev5 reptiles2 t is1 "s to "o k9d ( animal1 & "s to ano!r4 ,!y d n inde$ suppose a div9e p[] ess5tial to ^! creatures1 b t "s invisible be+s 7,i _c le>n t x is always "o7 communicate to ^! animals a great p[]1 ei!r "o or o!r ( !m1 7j z x happ5s7 & s make ^! creatures ! imm$iate au?ors ( good to c]ta9 p]sons4 ,:5ce su* a creature becomes sacr$ to ! p]sons to :om he is suppos$ to be ! imm$iate au?or ( good1 & ?r\gh him !y mu/ wor%ip ! invisible p[]s1 ?\gh to o!rs he is no m ?an ano!r creature4 ,& p]haps ano!r animal is look$ ^u to be ! imm$iate au?or ( good to ano!r1 & consequ5tly he mu/ wor%ip ! invisible p[]s 9 t animal4 ,& ,i h kn[n a ,pagan burn f9e tobacco = inc5se1 9 ord] to appease ! ang] ( t invisible p[] :i* he suppos$ presid$ ov] rattle-snakes1 because "o ( ^! animals 0 kill$ by ano!r ,indian ne> 8 h\se4 ,b ,i f9d1 t 9 anci5t times1 be=e ! com+ ( ! :ite p1 "s suppos$ !re 0 f\r invisible p[]s1 :o presid$ ov] ! f\r corn]s ( ! e>?4 ,o!rs imag9$ ! sun to be ! only deity1 & t all ?+s 7 made by him3 o!rs _h a confus$ notion ( a c]ta9 body or f\nta9 ( deity1 some:at l ! anima mundi1 s frequ5tly m5tion$ by ! le>n$ ,hea!ns1 diffus+ itself to v>i\s animals1 & ev5 to inanimate ?+s1 mak+ !m ! imm$iate au?ors ( good to c]ta9 p]sons4 ,b aft] ! com+ ( ! :ite p !y seem$ to suppose !re 7 ?ree deities1 & ?ree only1 because !y saw p ( ?ree diff]5t k9ds ( complexion1 viz4 ,engli%1 ,negroes & !mselves4 ,x is a notion g5]ally prevail+ among !m1 t x 0 n ! same ,god made !m1 :o made u2 b t !y 7 made aft] ! :ite p4 ,& !y suppose _! ,god ga9$ "s special skill by see+ ! :ite p made1 & s made !m bett]3 = !y look ^u !mselves1 & _! me?ods ( liv+1 7:i* !y say1 _! god expressly prescrib$7 z va/ly pref]able to ! :ite p1 & _! me?ods4 ,& h5ce !y w frequ5tly sit & laugh at !m z be+ good = no?+ b to fatigue !mselves1 ) h>d lab\r2 :ile !y enjoy ! satisfaction ( /ret*+ !mselves on ! gr\nd1 & sleep+ z mu* z !y please2 & h no o!r tr\ble ?an n[ & !n to *ase ! de]4 ,h5ce1 _m ( !m look ^u x z disgraceful = !m to become ,*ri/ians1 z ,*ri/ians d to become a ,pagan3 & ?\gh !y suppose our religion w d well en\gh = u1 because prescrib$ by our ,god1 yet x is no ways prop] = !m1 because n ( ! same orig9al4 99,!y seem to h "s confus$ notion ( a future /ate1 & _m ( !m imag9e t ! *i*ang1 7i4 e4 ! %ad[17 or :at survives ! body1 w at dea? g s\?w>d1 & 9 an unkn[n b curi\s place1 w enjoy "s k9d ( happ9ess1 su* z hunt+1 fea/+1 danc+4 ,& :at !y suppose w contribute mu* to _! happ9ess 9 t /ate is1 t !y %all nev] be we>y ( ^? ent]ta9m5ts4 ,"s ( !m h "s fa9t notion ( rew>ds & puni%m5ts1 or at lea/ ( happ9ess & mis]y 9 a future /ate2 o!rs seem to "k no su* ?+4 ,^? t suppose ?is1 imag9e t mo/ w be happy1 & ^? t are n s1 w be puni%$ only ) privation1 be+ exclud$ ! walls ( t good _w :]e happy s\ls %all dwell4 8he0 replac$ ) 8be0 ,^! rew>ds & puni%m5ts !y suppose to dep5d entirely ^u _! behavi\r t[>ds mank9d1 & n to h any ref]5ce to ,god4 ,i once consult$ a v anci5t ,indian ^u ?is po9t1 :e!r ! ,indians ( old times _h suppos$ !re 0 any ?+ ( ! man t w\ld survive ! body8 ,he repli$ yes4 ,i ask$ him1 fur!r1 :e!r x w\ld be happy !re8 ,he answ]$1 aft] "s consid]able pause1 t ! s\ls ( good folks w\ld be happy1 & ! s\ls ( bad folks mis]able4 ,i !n ask$ :o he call$ bad folks8 ,8 answ] 01 ^? :o lie1 /eal1 qu>rel ) _! neighb\rs1 are unk9d to _! fri5ds1 & especially to ag$ p>5ts1 & 9 a ^w are b a plague to mank9d4 ,^! 7 8 bad folks2 b n a ^w 0 said ( _! neglect ( div9e wor%ip1 & _! badness 9 t respect4 ,!y h inde$ "s k9d ( wor%ip1 are frequ5tly (f]+ sacrifices to "s invisible p[]s1 & are ready to impute _! calamities 9 ! pres5t _w1 to ! neglect ( ^! sacrifices2 b !re is no appe>ances ( rev]5ce & devotion 9 ! homage !y pay !m2 & :at !y d ( ?is nature seems to be done only to appease ! ang] ( _! deities1 to engage !m to d !m no hurt1 or at mo/ only to invite ^! p[]s to succe$ !m 9 ^? ent]prises !y are engag$ 94 ,s t 9 (f]+ ^! sacrifices1 !y seem to h no ref]5ce to a future /ate4 ,& !y imag9e1 t ^? !y call bad folks1 are exclud$ f ! company ( good p 9 t /ate1 n s mu* because ,god is det]m9$ to puni% !m = _! s9s ( any k9d1 z because !y w\ld r5d] o!rs unhappy if admitt$ to dwell ) !m4 ,s t !y are exclud$ r ( necessity1 ?an by ,god act+ z a righte\s judge4 ,!y give mu* he$ to dreams1 because !y suppose ! invisible p[]s give !m directions !re94 ,!y are likewise mu* atta*$ to ! traditions ( _! fa!rs1 :o h in=m$ !m ( div]s miracles anci5tly wr\ght4 99,!y also m5tion "s wond]ful ?+s :i*1 !y say1 h happ5$ s9ce ! memory ( "s :o are n[ liv+4 ,"o affirm$ to me1 t himself _h once be5 dead f\r days1 t mo/ ( 8 fri5ds 7 ga!r$ toge!r to 8 fun]al1 & t he %\ld h be5 buri$1 b t "s ( 8 relations 7 n arriv$1 be=e ^: com+ he came to life aga94 ,9 ?is "t1 he says1 he w5t to ! place :]e ! sun rises1 7imag9+ ! e>? to be pla917 & directly ov] t place1 at a great height 9 ! air1 he 0 admitt$1 he says1 into a great h\se1 :i* he supposes 0 sev]al miles 9 l5g?1 & saw _m wond]ful ?+s4 ,:at increases _! av]sion to ,*ri/ianity is ! influ5ce _! p[w[s h ^u !m4 ,^! are suppos$ to h a p[] ( =etell+ future ev5ts1 ( recov]+ ! sick1 & ( *>m+ p]sons to dea?4 ,probably a satanical imitation ( ! _s ( prophecy t ! *ur* 9 e>ly ages possess$4 ,i h lab\r$ to ga9 "s acqua9tance ) ?is affair1 & h = t end consult$ ! man m5tion$ 9 my j\rnal ( ,may #i1 :o1 s9ce 8 conv]sion to ,*ri/ianity1 has endeav\r$ to give me ! be/ intellig5ce he c\ld ( ?is matt]4 ,b x seems to be su* a my/]y ( iniquity1 t ,i _c well und]/& x2 &1 s f> z ,i c le>n1 he himself has n any cle> notions ( ! ?+1 n[ 8 _s ( div9ation is gone f him4 ,h[ev] ! mann] 9 :i* he says he obta9$ ?is _s 01 99he 0 admitt$ into ! pres5ce ( a great man1 :o in=m$ him1 t he lov$1 piti$1 & desir$ to d him good4 ,x 0 n 9 ?is _w t he saw ! great man1 b 9 a _w above at a va/ di/ance f ?is4 ,! great man1 he says1 0 cloa!d ) ! day2 yea1 ) ! brighte/ day he ev] saw2 a day ( _m ye>s1 yea1 ( ev]la/+ cont9uance6 ,?is :ole _w1 he says1 0 drawn ^u him1 s t 9 him1 ! e>?1 & all ?+s 9 x1 might be se54 ,i ask$ him1 if rocks1 m\nta9s1 & seas 0 drawn ^u1 or appe>$ 9 him8 ,he repli$1 t e ?+ t 0 beautiful & lovely 9 ! e>? 0 ^u him1 & might be se5 by look+ on him1 z well z if "o 0 on ! e>? to take a view ( !m !re4 ,by ! side ( ! great man1 he says1 /ood 8 %ad[ or _s4 ,?is %ad[1 he says1 0 z lovely z ! man himself1 & fill$ all places1 & 0 mo/ agreeable z well z wond]ful to him4,"h he says1 he t>ri$ "s "t1 & 0 unspeakably delight$ ) a view ( ! great man1 ( 8 %ad[ or _s1 & ( all ?+s 9 him4 ,& :at is mo/ ( all a/oni%+1 he imag9es all ?is to h pass$ be=e he 0 born4 ,he nev] _h be51 he says1 9 ?is _w at t "t4 ,& :at confirms him 9 ! belief ( ?is1 is1 t ! great man told him1 t he mu/ come d[n to e>?1 be born ( su* a woman1 meet ) su* & su* ?+s1 & 9 p>ticul>1 t he %\ld once 9 8 life be guilty ( murd]4 ,at ?is he 0 displeas$1 & told ! great man1 he w\ld nev] murd]4 ,b ! great man repli$1 8,i h said x1 & x %all be s40 ,:i* has accord+ly happ5$4 ,at ?is "t1 he says1 ! great man ask$ him :at he w\ld *use 9 life4 ,he repli$1 fir/ to be a hunt]1 & aft]w>ds to be a p[w[ or div9]4 ,:]eupon ! great man told him1 he %\ld h :at he desir$1 & t 8 %ad[ %\ld g along ) him d[n to e>?1 & be ) him = ev]4 ,!re 01 he says1 all ?is "t no words spok5 betwe5 !m4 ,! conf]5ce 0 n c>ri$ on by any human language1 b !y _h a k9d ( m5tal intellig5ce ( ea* o!r's ?\ghts4 ,aft] ?is1 he says1 he saw ! great man no m2 b supposes he came d[n to e>? to be born1 b ! _s or %ad[ ( ! great man /ill att5d$ him1 & ev] aft] cont9u$ to appe> to him 9 dreams & o!r ways1 until he felt ! p[] ( ,god's ^w ^u 8 he>t2 s9ce :i* x has entirely left him4 8c\nt5ance0 replac$ ) 8cont9uance0 p] ,errata 99,?is _s1 he says1 us$ to direct him 9 dreams to g to su* a place & hunt1 assur+ him he %\ld meet ) success1 :i* accord+ly prov$ s4 ,& :5 he _h be5 !re "s "t1 ! _s w\ld ord] him to ano!r place4 ,s t he _h success 9 hunt+1 accord+ to ! great man's promise4 99,!re 7 "s times :5 ?is _s came ^u him 9 a special mann]1 & he 0 full ( :at he saw 9 ! great man4 ,& !n1 he says1 he 0 all light1 & n only light himself1 b x 0 light all ar\nd him1 s t he c\ld see ?r\gh m51 & knew ! ?\ghts ( _! he>ts4 ,^! dep?s ( ,satan ,i leave to o!rs to fa?om1 & _c guess :at conceptions ( ?+s ^! creatures h at ! times :5 !y call !mselves all light4 ,b my int]pret] tells me1 t he he>d "o ( !m tell a c]ta9 ,indian ! secret ?\ghts ( 8 he>t4 ,! case 0 ?is2 ! ,indian 0 bitt5 ) a snake1 & 0 9 extreme pa94 ,:]eupon ! div9] 7:o 0 appli$ to7 told him1 t at su* a "t he _h promis$1 ! next de] he kill$ he w\ld sacrifice x to "s great p[]1 b _h brok5 8 promise4 ,& n[1 said he1 t great p[] has ord]$ ?is snake to bite y = y\r neglect4 ,! ,indian confess$ x 0 s1 b said he _h nev] told any body ( x4 ,b z ,satan1 no d\bt1 excit$ ! ,indian to make t promise1 x 0 no wond] he %\ld be able to communicate ! matt] to ! conjur]4 ,on ,friday & ,saturday1 he 0 v mu* amiss2 b yet prea*$ to 8 p on ,saturday4 ,8 illness cont9u$ on ! sabba?2 b he prea*$ not)/&+1 bo? p>ts ( ! day2 & aft] ! public wor%ip1 endeav\r$ to apply div9e tru?s to ! consci5ces ( "s1 address+ !m p]sonally3 sev]al 7 9 te>s1 & "s appe>$ mu* affect$4 ,b he 0 extremely we>i$ ) ! s]vice1 & 0 s ill at night1 t he c\ld h no re/2 b rem>ks1 t 8,god 0 8 support40 ,on ,monday1 he cont9u$ v ill2 b calm & compos$1 resign$ to ! div9e disp5sations4 ,"l's-day1 ,june #bi4 ,i prea*$ bo? p>ts ( ! day4 ,god 0 pleas$ to af=d me bo? fre$om & p[]2 9 bo? ex]cises4 ,god's p 7 refre%$ & melt$ ) div9e ?+s2 "o or two com=t$1 :o _h be5 long "u di/ress2 convictions1 9 div]s in/ances1 p[]fully reviv$2 & "o man 9 ye>s mu* awak5$1 :o _h n long frequ5t$ our meet+1 & appe>$ be=e z /upid z a /ock4 ,god amaz+ly r5ew$ my /r5g?4 ,i 0 s sp5t at noon1 t ,i c\ld sc>ce walk1 & all my jo9ts trembl$2 s t ,i c\ld n sit1 nor s mu* z hold my h& /ill3 & yet ,god /r5g!n$ me to prea* ) p[] 9 ! aft]noon4 ,i sp5t "s "t aft]w>ds 9 conv]s+ p>ticul>ly1 ) sev]al p]sons4 ,i pray$ aft]w>ds ) a sick *ild1 & gave a ^w ( exhortation1 & return$ home ) m heal? ?an ,i w5t out2 al?\gh my l95 0 wr++ wet ^u me1 f a little aft] t5 9 ! morn+1 till pa/ five 9 ! aft]noon4 ,my spirits also 7 consid]ably refre%$2 & my s\l rejoic$ 9 hope1 t ,i _h ?r\gh grace done some?+ = ,god4 ,9 ! ev5+ ,i walk$ out1 & enjoy$ a sweet season 9 secret pray] & praise4 ,oh1 = spirituality & holy f]v5cy1 t ,i might sp5d & be sp5t = ,god to my late/ mom5t6 ,on ,w$nesday he w5t to ,new>k1 to a meet+ ( ! ,presbyt]y4 ,! rema9+ "p ( ! week he sp5t !re1 & at ,elisabe?-,t[n4 99,monday1 ,july #g4 ,my spirits 7 consid]ably refre%$4 ,!re is no com=t1 ,i f9d1 9 any enjoym5t1 )\t enjoy+ ,god1 & be+ engag$ 9 8 s]vice4 ,9 ! ev5+ ,i _h ! mo/ agreeable conv]sation t ev] ,i rememb] 9 all my life1 ^u ,god's be+ all 9 all1 & all enjoym5ts be+ j t to u :i* ,god makes !m1 & no m4 ,x is good to beg9 & end ) ,god4 ,saturday1 ,july #ab4 ,?is day 0 sp5t 9 fa/+ & pray] by my congregation1 z prep>atory to ! sacram5t4 ,i disc\rs$1 bo? p>ts ( ! day4 ,god gave me assi/ance 9 my disc\rses1 & div9e p[] att5d$ ! ^w2 s t ?is 0 an agreeable season4 ,aft]w>ds ,i l$ !m to a solemn r5ewal ( _! cov5ant1 & fre% d$ication ( !mselves to ,god4 ,?is 0 a season bo? ( solemnity & sweetness1 & ,god 0 9 ! mid/ ( u4 ,"l's-day1 ,july #ac4 ,i adm9i/]$ ! sacram5t ( ! ,"l's supp] to ?irty-"o p]sons ( ! ,indians4 ,god seem$ to be pres5t 9 ?is ord9ance2 ! communicants 7 sweetly refre%$4 ,oh1 h[ !y melt$1 ev5 :5 ! elem5ts 7 fir/ uncov]$6 ,!re 0 sc>cely a dry eye among !m1 :5 ,i took (f ! l951 & %ew$ !m ! symbols ( ,*ri/'s brok5 body4,hav+ re/$ a little1 aft] ! adm9i/ration ( ! sacram5t1 ,i visit$ ! communicants1 & f\nd !m g5]ally 9 a sweet lov+ frame4 ,9 ! aft]noon ,i disc\rs$ ^u com+ to ,*ri/4 ,?is 0 likewise a season ( mu* t5d]ness4 ,i return$ home mu* sp5t1 yet rejoic+ 9 ! goodness ( ,god4 ,monday1 ,july #ad4 ,i disc\rs$ f ,psalms cxix4 #ajf4 8,i h sworn1 & ,i w p]=m x10 c4 ,!re appe>$ to be a p[]ful influ5ce on ! assembly1 & consid]able melt+ "u ! ^w4 ,aft]w>ds1 ,i l$ !m to a r5ewal ( _! cov5ant be=e ,god1 7t !y w\ld wat* ov] !mselves & "o ano!r1 le/ !y %\ld fall into s91 & di%on\r ! "n ( ,*ri/17 j z ,i did on ,monday1 ,april #bh4 ,?is transaction 0 att5d$ ) great solemnity3 & ,god own$ x by excit+ 9 !m a fe> & jeal\sy ( !mselves1 le/ !y %\ld s9 aga9/ ,god4 ,! next day1 he set out on a j\rney t[>ds ,philadelphia2 f :5ce he did n return till ,saturday4 ,he sp5t ! week "u great illness ( body & dejection ( m9d4 ,monday1 ,july #ba4 ,i prea*$ to ! ,indians1 *iefly = ! sake ( "s /rang]s4 ,i !n propos$ my design ( tak+ a j\rney to ,susquahannah3 exhort$ my p to pray = me1 & *ose div]s p]sons ( ! congregation to travel ) me4 ,monday1 ,july #bh4 ,i 0 v weak1 b ,i enjoy$ sweetness & com=t 9 pray]2 & 0 compos$ & com=table ?r\gh ! day3 my m9d 0 int5se1 & my he>t f]v5t 9 secret duties2 & ,i long$ to sp5d & be sp5t = ,god4 ,tuesday1 ,july #bi4 ,my m9d 0 *e>ful1 & free f ^? melan*oly damps1 t ,i am (t5 ex]cis$ )4 ,9 ! ev5+ ,i enjoy$ a com=table season 9 secret pray]1 0 help$ to plead ) ,god = my own de> p3 & = ! div9e pres5ce to att5d me 9 my int5d$ j\rney to ,susquahannah4 ,w$nesday1 ,july #cj4 ,i 0 uncommonly easy1 bo? 9 body & m9d3 my m9d 0 solemn1 & ,god seem$ to be ne> me3 s t ! day 0 z com=table z mo/ ,i h enjoy$ = "s "t4 99,friday1 ,augu/ #a4 ,9 ! ev5+ ,i enjoy$ a sweet season 9 secret pray]2 cl\ds & p]plex+ c>es 7 sweetly scatt]$4 ,oh1 h[ s]5e 0 my m9d6 ,h[ free f t di/ract+ conc]n ,i h (t5 felt6 8,?y w be done10 0 a petition sweet to my s\l3 & if ,god _h bidd5 me *use = myself 9 any affair1 ,i %\ld h *os5 r to h ref]r$ ! *oice to him2 = ,i saw he 0 inf9itely wise1 & c\ld n d any ?+ amiss1 z ,i 0 9 dang] ( do+4 ,saturday1 ,augu/ #b4 ,i prea*$ f ,mat!w xi4 #ai4 & ! pres5ce ( ,god seem$ to be rem>kably 9 ! assembly4 ,bless$ be ,god = su* a revival among u4 ,9 ! ev5+ ,i 0 v we>y1 b f\nd my spirits support$ & refre%$4 ,friday1 ,augu/ #e4 ,i prea*$ at ! fun]al ( "o ( my ,*ri/ians1 0 oppress$ ) ! head-a*1 & consid]ably deject$3 h[ev]1 ,i _h a little fre$om4 ,i 0 extremely we>y 9 ! ev5+2 b not)/&+ enjoy$ "s lib]ty 9 pray]1 & f\nd ! dejection t ,i fe>$1 mu* remov$1 & my spirits consid]ably refre%$4 8"o0 replac$ ) 8"o (0 p] ,errata ,?ursday1 ,augu/ #g4 ,i rode to my h\se1 :]e ,i sp5t ! la/ w9t]1 9 ord] to br+ "s ?+s ,i ne$$ = my ,susquahannah j\rney2 ,i 0 refre%$ to see t place1 :i* ,god s m>vell\sly visit$ ) ! %[]s ( 8 grace4 ,h[ amaz+ly did ! p[]s ( ,god appe> !re6 8,bless ! ,"l1 ,o my s\l40 ,saturday1 ,augu/ #i4 ,9 ! aft]noon1 ,i visit$ my p1 & contriv$ = ! managem5t ( _! worldly bus9ess3 disc\rs$ to !m 9 a solemn mann]1 & conclud$ ) pray]4 ,i 0 compos$ 9 ! ev5+1 & f]v5t 9 secret pray]3 _h a view ( ! et]nal _w1 & mu* s]5ity ( m9d4 ,oh t ,i c\ld magnify ! ,"l = any fre$om he af=ds me 9 pray]6 ,monday1 ,augu/ #aa4 ,be+ ab\t to set out = ,susquahannah ! next day1 ,i sp5t "s "t ?is day 9 pray] ) my p1 t ,god w\ld bless & succe$ my j\rney2 & set up 8 k+dom among ! poor ,indians 9 ! wild]ness4 ,:ile ,i 0 op5+ & apply+ "p ( ! cx? ,psalm1 ! p[] ( ,god desc5d$ on ! assembly2 numb]s 7 melt$1 & ,i f\nd affectionate enl>gem5t ( s\l4 ,god help$ me1 & my int]pret] also3 !re 0 a %ak+ & melt+ among u2 & div]s1 ,i d\bt n1 7 9 "s measure 8fill$ ) ! ,holy ,gho/20 especially :ile ,i insi/$ ^u ! promise ( all nations bless+ ! great ,r$eem]3 my s\l 0 refre%$ to ?9k1 t ?is glori\s season %\ld surely come2 & numb]s ( my de> p 7 also refre%$4 ,aft]w>ds ,i pray$2 & _h "s fre$om1 b 0 almo/ sp5t3 !n ,i walk$ out1 & left my p to c>ry on religi\s ex]cises among !mselves3 !y pray$ repeat$ly1 & sung1 :ile ,i re/$4 ,aft]w>ds ,i w5t to ! meet+1 pray$ )1 & dismiss$ ! assembly4 ,bless$ be ,god1 ?is has be5 a day ( grace4 ,! next day he set out on 8 j\rney t[>ds ,susquahannah1 & six ( 8 ,*ri/ian ,indians ) him4 ,he took 8 way ?r\gh ,philadelphia1 int5d+ to g to ,susquahannah-riv]1 f> d[n1 :]e x is settl$ by ! :ite p1 bel[ ! c\ntry inhabit$ by ! ,indians3 & s travel up ! riv] to ! ,indian habitations3 = al?\gh ?is 0 mu* f>!r ab\t1 yet h]eby he avoid$ ! huge m\nta9s & hide\s wild]ness4 ,he rode ?is week z f> z ,*>le/[n1 a place ( t "n ab\t ?irty miles we/w>d ( ,philadelphia2 :]e he arriv$ on ,friday2 & 9 8 way hi!r1 0 = ! mo/ "p 9 a com=table /ate ( m9d4 ,saturday1 ,augu/ #af4 ,at ,*>le/[n4 ,x be+ a day kept by ! p1 z prep>atory to ! ,"l's supp]1 ,i t>ri$1 he>d ,mr4 ,treat prea*2 & !n prea*$ myself4 ,god help$ me to disc\rse ) w>m?1 & application1 to ! consci5ce4 ,aft]w>ds ,i 0 refre%$ 9 _s1 ?\gh mu* tir$2 & sp5t ! ev5+ agreeably 9 pray]1 & ,*ri/ian conv]sation4 ,monday1 ,augu/ #ah4 ,i rode on my way t[>ds ,paxton1 ^u ,susquahannah-riv]1 b felt my spirits s9k1 t[>ds night4 ,tuesday1 ,augu/ #ai4 ,i rode =w>d /ill2 & at night lodg$ by ! side ( ,susquahannah4 ,w$nesday1 ,augu/ #bj4 ,hav+ la9 9 a cold sweat all night1 ,i c\gh$ mu* blood ?is morn+2 b ,i _h a secret hope t ,i might spe$ily get a dismission f e>?1 & all its sorr[s4 ,i rode ?is day to "o ,*amb]s's1 ^u ,susquahannah1 & !re lodg$1 b 0 mu* afflict$1 9 ! ev5+1 ) an ungodly crew1 dr9k+ & swe>+4 ,oh1 :at a hell w\ld x be1 to be numb]$ ) ! ungodly6 ,?ursday1 ,augu/ #ba4 ,i rode up ! riv] ab\t fifte5 miles1 & !re lodg$1 9 a family t appe>$ q de/itute ( ,god4 ,i lab\r$ to disc\rse ) ! man ab\t ! life ( religion1 b f\nd him v artful 9 evad+ x4 ,oh1 :at a dea? x is to "s1 to he> ( ! ?+s ( ,god6 ,friday1 ,augu/ #bb4 ,i cont9u$ my c\rse up ! riv]3 my p n[ be+ ) me1 :o be=e 7 p>t$ f me2 travell$ above all ! ,engli% settlem5ts2 at night1 lodg$ 9 ! op5 woods1 & slept ) m com=t1 ?an :ile among an ungodly company ( :ite p4 ,"l's-day1 ,augu/ #bd4 ,t[>ds noon ,i visit$ "s ( ! ,delaw>es1 & disc\rs$ ) !m ab\t ,*ri/ianity4 ,9 ! aft]noon ,i disc\rs$ to ! ,k+1 & o!rs1 ^u div9e ?+s1 :o seem$ dispos$ to he>4 ,i sp5t mo/ ( ! day 9 ^! ex]cises4 ,9 ! ev5+ ,i enjoy$ "s com=t3 especially 9 secret pray]3 s t ,i lov$ to walk abroad & repeat$ly engage 9 x4 ,monday1 ,augu/ #be4 ,i s5t out my p to talk ) ! ,indians1 & contract a famili>ity ) !m4 ,"s good seem$ to be done by _! visit ?is day1 & div]s appe>$ will+ to he>k5 to ,*ri/ianity4 ,tuesday1 ,augu/ #bf4 ,ab\t noon ,i disc\rs$ to a consid]able numb] ( ,indians3 ,i 0 enabl$ to speak ) mu* pla9ness1 w>m?1 & p[]4 ,! disc\rse _h impression ^u "s1 & made !m appe> v s]i\s4 ,w$nesday1 ,augu/ #bg4 ,!re hav+ be5 a ?ick smoak1 9 ! h\se :]e ,i lodg$1 ,i 0 ?is morn+ di/ress$ ) pa9s 9 my head & neck4 ,9 ! morn+ ! smoak 0 /ill ! same3 & a cold ea/]ly /orm ga!r+1 ,i c\ld nei!r live )9 doors nor )\t long toge!r2 ,i 0 pi]c$ ) ! rawness ( ! air abroad1 9 ! h\se di/ress$ ) ! smoak4 ,i ?is day liv$ 9 great di/ress1 & _h n heal? en\gh to d any ?+ to purpose4 ,?ursday1 ,augu/ #bh4 ,i 0 visit$ by "s :o desir$ to he> me prea*3 & disc\rs$ to !m 9 ! aft]noon1 ) "s f]v5cy1 & lab\r$ to p]suade !m to turn to ,god4 99,i sc>ce ev] saw m cle>ly1 t x is ,god's "w to conv]t s\ls1 ,i knew ,i c\ld n t\* !m1 ,i saw ,i c\ld only speak to dry bones1 b c\ld give !m no s5se ( :at ,i said4 ,my eyes 7 up to ,god = help3 ,i c\ld say1 ! "w 0 84 ,friday1 ,augu/ #bi4 ,i travell$ to ! ,delaw>es1 f\nd few at home3 felt poorly1 b 0 able to sp5d "s "t alone 9 read+ ,god's ^w & 9 pray]4 ,"l's-day1 ,augu/ #ca4 ,i spake ! ^w ( ,god1 to "s few ( ! ,susquahannah ,indians4 ,9 ! aft]noon1 ,i felt v weak & feeble4 ,oh1 h[ heavy is my "w1 :5 fai? _c take hold ( an almighty arm1 = ! p]=mance ( x6 ,monday1 ,septemb] #a4 ,i set out on a j\rney t[>ds a place call$ ,! great isl&1 ab\t fifty miles di/ant f ,%aumok+1 9 ! nor? we/]n bran* ( ,susquahannah4 ,at night ,i lodg$ 9 ! woods4 ,i 0 exce$+ feeble1 ?is day1 & sweat mu* ! night foll[+4 ,tuesday1 ,septemb] #b4 ,i rode =w>d2 b no fa/] ?an my p w5t on foot4 ,i 0 s feeble & fa9t1 t ,i fe>$ x w\ld kill me to lie out 9 ! op5 air2 & "s ( our company be+ p>t$ f u1 s t we _h n[ no axe ) u1 ,i _h no way b to climb into a "y p9e tree1 & ) my knife to lop ! bran*es1 & s made a %elt] f ! dew4 ,i sweat mu* 9 ! night1 s t my l95 0 almo/ wr++ wet all night4 ,i sc>ce ev] 0 m weak & we>y ?an ?is ev5+4 ,w$nesday1 ,septemb] #c4 ,i rode to ,delaw>e t[n2 & f\nd div]s dr9k+ & drunk54 ,i disc\rs$ ) "s ( ! ,indians ab\t ,*ri/ianity2 obs]v$ my int]pret] mu* engag$ 9 8 "w2 "s few p]sons seem$ to he> ) great e>ne/ness4 ,ab\t noon ,i rode to a small t[n ( ,%awwannoes1 ab\t eight miles di/ant2 sp5t an h\r or two !re1 & return$ to ! ,delaw>e t[n4 ,oh :at a dead1 b>r51 unpr(itable wret* did ,i n[ see myself to be6 ,my spirits 7 s l[1 & my bodily /r5g? s wa/$1 t ,i c\ld d no?+ at all4 ,at l5g? be+ mu* ov]done ,i lay d[n on a buffalo-sk92 b sweat mu* ! :ole night4 duplicate ^w 8a0 remov$ ,?ursday1 ,septemb] #d4 ,i disc\rs$ ) ! ,indians ab\t ,*ri/ianity2 my int]pret]1 aft]w>ds1 c>ry+ on ! disc\rse to a consid]able l5g?3 "s few appe>$ well dispos$1 & some:at affect$4 ,i left ?is place1 & return$ to ,%aumok+2 & at night lodg$ 9 ! place :]e ,i lodg$ ! ,monday night be=e3 b my p be+ belat$ did n come to me till pa/ t5 at night2 s t ,i _h no fire to dress any victuals1 or to keep me w>m2 & ,i 0 sc>ce ev] m weak & worn out 9 my life4 8s>ce0 replac$ ) 8sc>ce0 ,friday1 ,septemb] #e4 ,i 0 s weak1 t ,i c\ld sc>cely ride3 x seem$ sometimes z if ,i mu/ fall (f f my horse3 h[ev]1 ,i got to ,%aumok+ t[>ds night1 & felt ?ankfulness1 t ,god _h s f> return$ me4 ,saturday1 ,septemb] #f4 ,i sp5t ! day 9 a v weak /ate2 c\gh+ & spitt+ blood1 & hav+ little appetite to any food ,i _h ) me3 ,i 0 able to d v little1 except disc\rse a:ile ( div9e ?+s to my own p1 & to "s few ,i met )4 ,monday1 ,septemb] #h4 ,i sp5t ! =5oon among ! ,indians2 9 ! aft]noon1 left ,%aumok+1 & return$ d[n ! riv] a few miles4 ,i _h propos$ to h t>ri$ a consid]able "t long] among ! ,indians ^u ,susquahannah2 b 0 h9d]$ by ! weakly circum/ances ( my own p1 & especially my own extraord9>y weakness1 hav+ be5 ex]cis$ ) great nocturnal sweats1 & a c\gh+ up ( blood1 9 almo/ ! :ole ( ! j\rney4 ,i 0 a great "p ( ! "t s feeble & fa9t1 t x seem$ z ?\gh ,i nev] %\ld be able to rea* home2 & at ! same "t de/itute ( ! com=ts1 yea ! necess>ies ( life2 at lea/ :at 0 necess>y = "o 9 s weak a /ate4 ,9 ?is j\rney ,i sometimes 0 enabl$ to speak ! ^w ( ,god ) p[]1 & div9e tru?s made "s impression on div]s t he>d me2 s t sev]al1 bo? m5 & wom51 old & "y1 seem$ to cleave to u1 & be well dispos$ t[>ds ,*ri/ianity2 b o!rs mock$ & %\t$1 :i* damp$ ^? :o be=e seem$ fri5dly4 ,yet ,god at times1 0 evid5tly pres5t1 assi/+ me1 my int]pret]1 & o!r de> fri5ds :o 7 ) me 9 pray] = ! +a!r+ ( s\ls !re2 & ,i c\ld n b ent]ta9 a /rong hope1 t ! j\rney w\ld n be :olly fruitless4 ,tuesday1 ,septemb] #i4 ,i rode d[n ! riv]1 ne> ?irty miles1 0 extreme weak1 mu* fatigu$1 & wet ) a ?und] /orm4 ,i disc\rs$ ) "s w>m? & clos5ess to "s poor ignorant s\ls1 on ! life & p[] ( religion4 ,!y seem$ mu* a/oni%$1 :5 !y saw my ,indians ask a bless+1 & give ?anks at d9n]3 conclud+ t a v high evid5ce ( grace 9 !m2 b 7 m a/oni%$1 :5 ,i insi/$ t nei!r t1 nor yet secret pray]1 0 any sure evid5ce ( grace4 ,oh ! ignorance ( ! _w6 ,h[ are "s empty outw>d =ms1 mi/ak5 = true religion4 ,w$nesday1 ,septemb] #aj4 ,i rode ne> tw5ty miles homew>d2 & 0 mu* solicit$ to prea*1 b 0 utt]ly unable4 ,i 0 extremely ov] done ) ! heat & %[]s1 & c\gh$ up consid]able quantities ( blood4 ,?ursday1 ,septemb] #aa4 ,i rode homew>d3 b 0 v weak1 & sometimes sc>ce able to ride1 ,i _h a v importunate invitation to prea* at a meet+ h\se ,i came by1 b c\ld n by reason ( weakness4 ,i 0 resign$ "u my weakness2 b 0 mu* ex]cis$ = my companions 9 travel1 :om ,i _h left ) mu* regret1 "s lame1 & "s sick4 ,friday1 ,septemb] #ab4 ,i rode ab\t fifty miles2 & came j at night to a ,*ri/ian fri5d's h\se1 ab\t tw5ty-five miles we/w>d ( ,philadelphia4 ,i 0 k9dly ent]ta9$1 & f\nd myself mu* refre%$ 9 ! mid/ ( my weakness & fatigues4 ,"l's-day1 ,septemb] #ad4 ,i prea*$ bo? p>ts ( ! day 7b %ort7 f ,luke xiv4 #bc4 ,god gave me fre$om & w>m? 9 my disc\rse2 & help$ me to lab\r 9 s+l5ess ( he>t4 ,i 0 mu* tir$ 9 ! ev5+1 b 0 com=t$ ) ! mo/ t5d] treatm5t ,i ev] met ) 9 my life4 ,my m9d ?r\gh ! :ole ( ?is day1 0 exce$+ calm2 & ,i c\ld ask = no?+ b t 8! w ( ,god might be done40 ,w$nesday1 ,septemb] #ag4 ,i rode into ,philadelphia1 b 0 v weak1 & my c\gh & my spitt+ ( blood cont9u$4 ,saturday1 ,septemb] #bj4 ,i arriv$ among my own p3 f\nd !m pray+ toge!r3 w5t 91 & gave !m "s acc\nt ( ,god's deal+s ) me & my companions 9 ! j\rney4 ,i !n pray$ ) !m1 & ! div9e pres5ce 0 among u2 div]s 7 melt$ into te>s4 ,be+ v weak1 ,i 0 oblig$ soon to repair to my lodg+s4 ,?us ,god has c>ri$ me ?r\gh ! fatigues & p]ils ( ano!r j\rney to ,susquahannah1 & return$ me aga9 9 safety1 ?\gh "u a great degree ( bodily indisposition4 ,_m h>d%ips & di/resses ,i endur$ 9 ?is j\rney3 b ! ,"l support$ me "u !m all4 ,,"p ,,viii4 ,aft] 8 return f 8 la/ j\rney to ,susquahannah1 until 8 dea?4 ,,hi!rto ,mr4 ,bra9]d _h kept a con/ant di>y1 giv+ an acc\nt ( :at pass$ f day to day3 b h5ce=w>d 8 di>y is mu* int]rupt$ by 8 illness2 "u :i* he 0 (t5 br\ght s l[1 z n to be able to recollect 9 ! ev5+1 :at _h pass$ 9 ! day1 & set d[n an ord]ly acc\nt ( x 9 writ+4 ,h[ev] he took "s notice ( ! mo/ mat]ial ?+s conc]n+ himself1 'till )9 a few days ( 8 dea?4 8recolect0 replac$ ) 8recollect0 99,"l's-day1 ,septemb] #ba1 #agdf4 ,i 0 s weak ,i c\ld n prea*1 nor ride ov] to my p 9 ! =5oon4 ,9 ! aft]noon ,i rode out2 sat 9 my *air1 & disc\rs$ to my p f ,romans xiv4 #g1 #h4 ,i 0 /r5g!n$ 9 my disc\rse2 & !re appe>$ some?+ agreeable 9 ! assembly4 ,i return$ to my lodg+s extremely tir$2 b ?ankful1 t ,i _h be5 enabl$ to speak a ^w to my poor p4 ,i 0 able to sleep little1 ?r\gh we>9ess & pa94 ,oh1 h[ bless$ %\ld ,i be1 if ! little ,i d1 7 all done ) "r views6 8/r5gh5$0 replac$ ) 8/r5g!n$0 ,saturday1 ,septemb] #bg4 ,i sp5t ?is z ! week pa/1 "u a great degree ( bodily weakness1 ex]cis$ ) a viol5t c\gh1 & a consid]able fev]2 _h no appetite to any k9d ( food2 & frequ5tly br\ght up :at ,i ate1 z soon z x 0 d[n3 ,i 0 able1 h[ev]1 to ride ov] to my p1 ab\t two miles1 e day1 & take "s c>e ( ^? :o 7 !n at "w ^u a small h\se = me to reside 9 among/ ! ,indians4 ,i 0 sometimes sc>ce able to walk1 & nev] able to sit up ! :ole day4 ,yet ,i 0 calm & compos$1 & b little ex]cis$ ) melan*oly1 z 9 =m] seasons4 ,x 0 _m times a com=t to me1 t life & dea? did n dep5d ^u my *oice4 ,i 0 pleas$ to ?9k1 t he :o is inf9itely wise1 _h ! det]m9ation ( ?is matt]2 & t ,i _h no tr\ble1 to consid] & weigh ?+s ^u all sides1 9 ord] to make ! *oice1 :e!r ,i w\ld live or die4 ,i c\ld ) great composure look dea? 9 ! face1 & frequ5tly ) s5sible joy4 ,oh1 h[ bless$ x is1 to be habitually prep>$ = dea?6 ,! ,"l grant1 t ,i may be actually ready also6 ,?is 0 ! f\r? h\se he built = 8 resid5ce among ! ,indians4 ,"l's day1 ,septemb] #bh4 ,i rode to my p2 &1 ?\gh "u mu* weakness1 disc\rs$ ab\t half an h\r2 at :i* season div9e p[] seem$ to att5d ! ^w2 b be+ extreme weak1 ,i 0 oblig$ to desi/2 & aft] a turn ( fa9tness1 ) mu* difficulty rode to my lodg+s1 :]e betak+ myself to my b$1 ,i lay 9 a burn+ fev]1 & almo/ deliri\s1 = sev]al h\rs1 till t[>ds morn+1 my fev] w5t (f ) a viol5t sweat4 ,i h (t5 be5 fev]i% aft] prea*+3 b ?is 0 ! mo/ di/ress+ turn1 t ev] prea*+ br\ght ^u me4 ,yet ,i felt p]fectly at re/ 9 my own m9d1 because ,i _h made my utmo/ attempts to speak = ,god4 ,tuesday1 ,septemb] #cj4 ,ye/]day & to-day ,i 0 sc>ce able to sit up half ! day4 ,b ,i 0 9 a compos$ frame rem>kably free f dejection & melan*oly2 z ,god has be5 pleas$ to deliv] me f ^! unhappy glooms1 9 ! g5]al c\rse ( my pres5t weakness1 & also f a peevi% _s4 ,oh t ,i may always be able to say1 8,"l1 n my w1 b ?9e be done60 8,i0 replac$ ) 8,i 00 & #bnd 800 delet$ p] ,errata ,saturday1 ,octob] #d4 ,i sp5t ! =m] "p ( ?is week "u a great degree ( disord]1 z ,i _h done sev]al weeks be=e3 0 able1 h[ev]1 to ride a little e day1 al?\gh unable to sit up half ! day1 & took "s c>e daily ( p]sons at "w ^u my h\se4 ,on ,friday aft]noon ,i f\nd myself wond]fully reviv$ & /r5g!n$2 & hav+ "s "t be=e giv5 notice to my p1 & ^? at ! ,=ks ( ,delaw>e 9 p>ticul>1 t ,i design$1 to adm9i/] ! sacram5t ( ! ,"l's supp] ^u ! fir/ sabba? 9 ,octob]3 on ,friday aft]noon ,i prea*$ prep>atory to ! sacram5t1 f #b ,cor9?ians xiii4 #e4 ,i 0 surpris+ly /r5g!n$ 9 my "w1 :ile ,i 0 speak+3 b 0 oblig$ imm$iately aft] to repair to b$1 be+ n[ remov$ into my own h\se among ! ,indians2 :i* gave me su* spe$y relief1 z ,i c\ld n well h liv$ )\t4 ,i sp5t "s "t on ,friday night 9 conv]s+ ) my p z ,i lay ^u my b$2 & f\nd my s\l refre%$4 ,?is be+ ,saturday1 ,i disc\rs$ p>ticul>ly ) div]s ( ! communicants2 & ?is aft]noon prea*$ f ,ze*>iah xii4 #aj4 ,!re seem$ to be a t5d] melt+1 & he>ty m\rn+ = s9 9 ! congregation4 ,my s\l 0 9 a com=table frame1 & ,i 0 myself1 z well z mo/ ( ! congregation1 mu* affect$ ) ! humble confession1 & app>5t brok5-he>t$ness ( a backslid]2 & c\ld n b rejoice1 t ,god _h giv5 him su* a s5se ( 8 s9 & unwor?9ess4 ,i 0 extremely tir$ 9 ! ev5+2 b lay on my b$1 & disc\rs$ to my p4 99,"l's-day1 ,octob] #e4 ,i 0 /ill v weak2 & 9 ! morn+ afraid ,i %\ld n be able to g ?r\gh ! "w ( ! day4 ,i disc\rs$ be=e ! adm9i/ration ( ! sacram5t f ,john i4 #bi4 8,behold ! ,lamb ( ,god1 t take? away ! s9 ( ! _w40,! div9e pres5ce att5d$ ?is disc\rse2 & ! assembly 0 consid]ably melt$4 ,aft] s]mon ,i baptiz$ two p]sons1 & !n adm9i/]$ ! ,"l's supp] to ne> =ty communicants ( ! ,indians1 besides div]s de> ,*ri/ians ( ! :ite p4 ,x 0 a season ( div9e p[] & grace2 & numb]s rejoic$ 9 ,god4 ,oh1 ! sweet union & h>mony !n appe>+ among ! religi\s p6 ,my s\l 0 refre%$1 & my fri5ds1 ( ! :ite p1 ) me4 ,aft] ! sacram5t ,i c\ld sc>cely get home2 b 0 support$ by my fri5ds1 & laid on my b$2 :]e ,i lay 9 pa9 till ! ev5+2 & !n 0 able to sit up & disc\rse ) my fri5ds4 ,oh1 h[ 0 ?is day sp5t 9 pray]s & praises among my de> p6 ,"o might he> !m all ! morn+ be=e public wor%ip1 & 9 ! ev5+ till ne> midnight1 pray+ & s++ praises to ,god1 9 "o or o!r ( _! h\ses4 99,saturday1 ,octob] #aa4 ,t[>ds night ,i 0 seiz$ ) an ague1 :i* 0 foll[$ ) a h>d fev]1 & mu* pa93 ,i 0 treat$ ) great k9dness & 0 a%am$ to see s mu* conc]n ab\t s unwor?y a creature4 ,i 0 9 a com=table frame ( m9d1 :olly submissive ) reg>d to life or dea?4 ,x 0 inde$ a peculi> satisfaction to me1 to ?9k t x 0 n my bus9ess to det]m9e :e!r ,i %\ld live or die4 ,i likewise felt peculi>ly satisfi$1 :ile "u ?is uncommon degree ( disord]2 be+ n[ fully conv9c$ ( my be+ unable to p]=m my "w4 ,oh h[ preci\s is "t6 ,& h[ guilty x makes me feel1 :5 ,i ?9k ,i h trifl$ away & misemploy$ x1 or neglect$ to fill up ea* "p ( x ) duty1 to ! utmo/ ( my ability6 ,octob] #ai4 ,i 0 will+ ei!r to die or live2 b f\nd x h>d to ?9k ( liv+ useless4 ,oh t ,i might nev] live to be a burd5 to ,god's creation2 b t ,i might be all[$ to repair home1 :5 my soj\rn+ "w is done6 ,friday1 ,octob] #bd4 ,i sp5t ! day 9 ov]see+ & direct+ my p ab\t m5d+ _! f5ce1 & secur+ _! :eat4 ,i 0 some:at refre%$ 9 ! ev5+1 hav+ be5 able to d some?+ valuable 9 ! day "t4 ,oh1 h[ x pa9s me1 to see "t pass away1 :5 ,i c d no?+ to any purpose6 ,saturday1 ,octob] #be4 ,i visit$ "s ( my p3 sp5t "s "t 9 writ+1 & felt mu* bett] 9 body ?an usual3 :5 x 0 ne> night ,i felt s well1 t ,i _h ?\ghts ( exp\nd+3 b 9 ! ev5+ 0 mu* disord]$ aga91 & sp5t ! night 9 c\gh+1 & spitt+ ( blood4 ,"l's-day1 ,octob] #bf4 ,9 ! morn+ ,i 0 exce$+ weak1 & sp5t ! day till ne> night1 9 pa9 to see my poor p w&]+ z %eep n hav+ a %eph]d4 ,b t[>ds night f9d+ myself a little bett]1 ,i call$ !m toge!r to my h\se & sat d[n1 & read & exp\nd$ ,mat!w v4 #aaf4 ,?is disc\rse1 ?\gh deliv]$ 9 mu* weakness1 0 att5d$ ) p[]2 especially :at 0 spok5 ^u ! la/ ( ^! v]ses1 :]e ,i insi/$ on ! inf9ite wrong done to religion1 by hav+ our light become d>kness1 in/ead ( %9+ be=e m54 ,z _m 7 deeply affect$ ) a s5se ( _! defici5cy1 9 reg>d ( spiritual conv]sation1 & a _s ( conc]n & wat*fulness seem$ to be excit$ 9 !m2 s !re 0 "o t _h fall5 into drunk5ness1 sometime be=e1 :o 0 n[ deeply conv9c$ ( 8 s91 & discov]$ a great degree ( conc]n on t acc\nt4 ,my s\l 0 refre%$ to see ?is4 ,& ?\gh ,i _h no /r5g? to speak s mu* z ,i w\ld h done1 b 0 oblig$ to lie d[n on ! b$3 yet ,i rejoic$ to see su* an humble melt+ 9 ! congregation2 & t div9e tru?s1 ?\gh fa9tly deliv]$1 7 att5d$ ) s mu* efficacy4 ,monday1 ,octob] #bg4 ,i sp5t ! day 9 direct+ ! ,indians1 ab\t m5d+ ! f5ce r\nd _! :eat3 & 0 able to walk ) !m1 & contrive _! bus9ess all ! =5oon4 ,9 ! aft]noon ,i 0 visit$ by two de> fri5ds1 & sp5t "s "t 9 conv]sation ) !m4 ,t[>ds night ,i 0 able to walk out1 & take c>e ( ! ,indians aga94 ,octob] #bh4 ,i rode to ,pr9ce-,t[n1 9 a v weak /ate3 _h su* a viol5t fev]1 by ! way1 t ,i 0 =c$ to alight at a fri5d's h\se1 & lie d[n = "s "t4 ,ne> night ,i 0 visit$ by ,mr4 ,treat1 ,mr4 ,beaty1 & 8 wife1 & ano!r fri5d3 my spirits 7 refre%$ to see !m3 b ,i 0 surpriz$1 & ev5 a%am$1 t !y _h tak5 s mu* pa9s z to ride ?irty or =ty miles to see me4 ,saturday1 ,novemb] #a4 ,i took leave ( my fri5ds & return$ home4 ,"l's-day1 ,novemb] #b4 ,i 0 unable to prea* & sc>cely able to sit up ! :ole day4 ,i 0 almo/ sunk1 to see my poor p de/itute ( ! means ( grace2 & especially consid]+ !y c\ld n read1 & s 7 "u great disadvantages = sp5d+ ! sabba? com=tably4 ,oh1 me?\ght1 ,i c\ld be cont5t$ to be sick1 if my poor flock _h a fai?ful pa/or to fe$ !m4 ,a view ( _! want ( ?is 0 m afflictive to me1 ?an all my bodily illness4 ,monday1 ,novemb] #c4 ,be+ n[ 9 s l[ a /ate1 t ,i 0 utt]ly uncapable ( p]=m+ my "w1 & hav+ little hope ( recov]y1 unless by mu* rid+1 ,i ?\ght x my duty to take a j\rney into ,new-,engl&1 ,i accord+ly took leave ( my congregation ?is day4,be=e ,i left my p1 ,i visit$ !m all 9 _! respective h\ses1 & disc\rs$ to ea*1 z ,i ?\ght mo/ suitable = _! circum/ances1 & f\nd great fre$om 9 s do+3 ,i sc>ce left "o h\se b "s 7 9 te>s1 n only affect$ ) my be+ ab\t to leave !m1 b ) ! solemn addresses ,i made2 = ,i 0 help$ to be f]v5t 9 _s4 ,:5 ,i _h ?us gone ?r\gh my congregation1 7:i* took me mo/ ( ! day7 & _h tak5 leave ( !m1 & ( ! s*ool1 ,i rode ab\t two miles1 to ! h\se :]e ,i liv$ 9 ! summ] pa/1 & !re lodg$4 ,tuesday1 ,novemb] #d4 ,i rode to ,woodbridge1 & lodg$ ) ,mr4 ,pi]son4 ,w$nesday1 ,novemb] #e4 ,i rode to ,elisabe?-,t[n1 int5d+ z soon z possible to prosecute my j\rney4 ,b ,i 0 9 an h\r or two tak5 mu* worse4,= ne> a week ,i 0 conf9$ to my *amb]1 & mo/ ( ! "t to my b$2 & !n s f> reviv$ z to be able to walk ab\t ! h\se2 b 0 /ill conf9$ )9 doors4 ,i 0 enabl$ to ma9ta9 a calm1 compos$1 & pati5t _s1 z ,i _h f ! beg9n+ ( my weakness4 ,aft] ,i _h be5 9 ,elisabe?-,t[n ab\t a =tnight1 & _h s f> recov]$ t ,i 0 able to walk ab\t ! h\se1 ^u a day ( ?anksgiv+ kept 9 ?is place1 ,i 0 enabl$ to rec\nt ! m]cies ( ,god1 9 su* a mann] z greatly affect$ me1 & fill$ me ) ?ankfulness to ,god2 especially = 8 "w ( grace among ! ,indians1 & ! enl>gem5t ( 8 k+dom4 8,"l1 glorify ?yself10 0 ! cry ( my s\l4 ,oh t all p might love & praise ! bless$ ,god6 ,aft] ?is com=table season1 ,i frequ5tly enjoy$ enl>gem5t ( s\l 9 pray] = my de> congregation1 v (t5 = e family1 & e p]son 9 p>ticul>2 & x 0 a great com=t to me1 t ,i c\ld pray he>tily to ,god = ^? :om ,i 0 n all[$ to see4 ,9 ! latt] end ( ,decemb]1 ,i grew /ill weak]1 & cont9u$ to d s1 till ! latt] end ( ,janu>y #agdfg4 ,& hav+ a viol5t c\gh1 a consid]able fev]1 & no appetite = any mann] ( food1 ,i 0 r$uc$ to s l[ a /ate1 t my fri5ds g5]ally despair$ ( my life2 & = "s "t toge!r1 ?\ght ,i c\ld sc>ce live a day to an end4 ,on ,"l's-day1 ,febru>y #a4 8,if ye1 be+ evil1 "k h[ to give good gifts to y\r *ildr51 h[ mu* m w y\r heav5ly ,fa!r give ! holy ,_s to !m t ask him80 ,?is text ,i 0 help$ to plead1 & saw ! div9e fai?fulness engag$ = deal+ ) me bett] ?an any e>?ly p>5t c d ) 8 *ild4 ,?is season s refre%$ my s\l1 t my body seem$ also to be a ga9] by x4 ,& f ?is "t1 ,i began gradually to am5d4 ,& z ,i recov]$ "s /r5g?1 vig\r1 & _s1 ,i f\nd at times "s life 9 ! ex]cises ( devotion1 & long+s aft] spirituality & a life ( usefulness4 ,on ,tuesday1 ,febru>y #bd4 ,i 0 able to ride z f> z ,new>k1 7hav+ be5 conf9$ )9 ,elisabe?-,t[n almo/ f\r mon?s17 & ! next day return$ to ,elisabe?-,t[n4 ,my spirits 7 some:at refre%$ ) ! ride1 ?\gh my body 0 we>y4 ,on ,saturday1 ,febru>y #bh4 ,i 0 visit$ by an ,indian ( my own congregation1 :o br\ght me lett]s1 & good news ( ! behavi\r ( my p 9 g5]al4 ,?is refre%$ my s\l1 ,i c\ld n b retire & bless ,god = 8 goodness4 ,w$nesday1 ,m>* #aa1 be+ kept 9 ,elisabe?-,t[n z a day ( fa/+ & pray]1 ,i 0 able to att5d public wor%ip1 :i* 0 ! fir/ "t s9ce ,decemb] #ba4 ,oh1 h[ mu* di/ress did ,god c>ry me ?r\gh 9 ?is space ( "t6 ,b hav+ obta9$ help f him1 ,i yet live3 ,oh t ,i c\ld live to 8 glory6 8at0 replac$ ) 8z0 ,?ursday1 ,m>* #ah4 ,i rode to my p3 & on ,friday morn+ walk$ ab\t among !m & inquir$ into _! /ate & conc]ns2 & f\nd an additional weight on my spirits ^u he>+ "s ?+s disagreeable4 ,i endeav\r$ to g to ,god ) my di/resses3 b not)/&+1 my m9d cont9u$ v gloomy4 ,ab\t t5 o'clock1 ,i call$ my p toge!r1 & aft] hav+ expla9$ & sung a psalm1 ,i pray$ ) !m4 ,!re 0 a consid]able deal ( affection among !m2 ,i d\bt n1 t :i* 0 m ?an m]ely natural4 ,?is 0 ! la/ int]view t he ev] _h ) 8 p4 ,ab\t elev5 o'clock ! same day1 he left !m3 & ! next day came to ,elisabe?-,t[n4 ,saturday1 ,m>* #bh4 ,i 0 tak5 ?is morn+ ) a viol5t grip+4 ,^! pa9s 7 extreme & con/ant1 = sev]al h\rs3 s t x seem$ impossible = me1 )\t a miracle1 to live tw5ty-f\r h\rs4 ,i lay conf9$ to my b$1 ! :ole day3 b x pleas$ ,god to bless means = ! abatem5t ( my di/ress4 ,i 0 exce$+ly weak5$ by ?is pa91 & cont9u$ s = sev]al days foll[+4 ,9 ?is di/ress$ case1 dea? appe>$ agreeable to me3 z an entrance into a place 8:]e ! we>y are at re/20 &1 ,i _h "s reli% ( ! ent]ta9m5ts ( ! heav5ly /ate2 s t by ^! ,i 0 allur$ & drawn1 z well z driv5 by ! fatigues ( life4 ,oh1 h[ happy x is1 to be drawn by desires ( a /ate ( p]fect hol9ess6 ,saturday1 ,april #d4 ,i 0 uneasy1 by reason ( ! misemploym5t ( "t3 & yet knew n :at to d3 ,i long$ to sp5d "t 9 fa/+ & pray]2 b alas1 ,i _h n bodily /r5g?6 ,oh1 h[ bless$ a ?+ is x1 to enjoy peace ( consci5ce6 ,h[ dreadful is a want ( inw>d peace6 ,x is impossible1 ,i f9d1 to enjoy ?is happ9ess )\t r$eem+ "t1 & ma9ta9+ a spiritual frame ( m9d4 ,"l's-day1 ,april #e4 ,x griev$ me1 to f9d myself s inconceivably b>r54 ,my s\l ?ir/$ = grace2 b1 alas1 h[ f> 0 ,i f obta9+ :at ,i saw s excell5t6 ,i 0 ready to despair ( ev] be+ holy2 & yet my s\l 0 desir\s ( foll[+ h>d aft] ,god2 b nev] did ,i see myself s f> f hav+ appreh5d$1 or be+ already p]fect4 ,! ,"l's supp] be+ ?is day adm9i/]$1 9 ! season ( communion1 ,i enjoy$ w>m? ( affection1 & felt a t5d] love to ! bre?r52 &1 to ! glori\s ,r$eem]1 ! fir/-born among !m4 ,i endeav\r$ !n to br+ =? m9e & 8 enemies1 & slay !m be=e him2 & f\nd great fre$om 9 begg+ deliv]ance f ?is spiritual dea?1 z well z 9 ask+ fav\rs = my fri5ds & congregation1 & ! *ur* ( ,*ri/ 9 g5]al4 ,friday1 ,april #ag4 ,9 ! ev5+1 ,god help$ me to 8draw ne> to ! ?rone ( grace10 & gave me a s5se ( 8 fav\r1 :i* gave me inexpressible support & enc\ragem5t2 ,i c\ld n b rejoice1 t ev] ,god %\ld discov] 8 reconcil$ face to su* a vile s9n]4 ,%ame & confusion1 at times1 cov]$ me2 & !n hope1 & joy1 & admiration ( ! div9e goodness4 ,tuesday1 ,april #ba4 ,i set out on my j\rney = ,new-,engl&2 ,i travell$ to ,new-,york1 & !re lodg$4 ,?is prov$ 8 f9al dep>ture f ,new-,j]sey4,he travell$ sl[ly1 & arriv$ among 8 fri5ds at ,ea/-,haddam1 ab\t ! beg9n+ ( ,may4 ,"l's-day1 ,may #aj4 7,at ,_h-,lime7 ,i c\ld n b feel gratitude to ,god1 t he _h always dispos$ me1 9 my m9i/ry1 to insi/ on ! great doctr9es ( reg5]ation1 a new creature1 fai? 9 ,*ri/1 progressive sanctification1 supreme love to ,god1 liv+ entirely to ! glory ( ,god1 be+ n our own1 & ! l4 ,god has help$ me to see1 f "t to "t1 t ^!1 & ! l doctr9es1 necess>ily connect$ ) !m1 are ! only f\ndation ( safety & salvation = p]i%+ s9n]s2 & t ^? div9e dispositions1 :i* are consonant h]eto1 are t hol9ess1 8)\t :i* no man %all see ! ,"l30 ! ex]cise ( ^! ,god-l temp]s1 :]e9 ! s\l acts 9 a k9d ( conc]t ) ,god1 & w\ld be & d e ?+ t is pleas+ to ,god2 ?is1 ,i saw1 w\ld /& by ! s\l 9 a dy+ h\r2 = ,god mu/ d5y himself1 if he ca/ away 8 own image1 ev5 ! s\l t is "o 9 desires ) himself4 ,"l's-day1 ,may #ag4 ,?\gh ,i felt mu* dulness ?is week2 yet ,i _h "s glimpses ( ! excell5cy ( div9e ?+s2 & especially "o morn+1 ! beauty ( hol9ess1 z a lik5ess to ! glori\s ,god1 0 s discov]$ to me1 t ,i long$ e>ne/ly to be 9 t _w :]e hol9ess dwells 9 p]fection1 t ,i might please ,god1 live entirely to him1 & glorify him to ! utmo/ /ret* ( my capacities4 99,"l's-day4 ,may #bd4 7,at ,long-,mead[ 9 ,spr+field7 ,i c\ld n b ?9k1 z ,i h (t5 rem>k$ to o!rs1 t mu* m ( true religion consi/s 9 deep humility1 brok5ness ( he>t1 & an abas+ s5se ( want ( hol9ess1 ?an mo/ :o are call$ ,*ri/ians imag9e4 ,on ,?ursday1 ,may #bh4 ,he came f ,long-,mead[ to ,nor?ampton1 appe>+ va/ly bett] ?an he _h be5 9 ! w9t]2 inde$ s well1 t he 0 able to ride tw5ty-five miles 9 a day1 & to walk half a mile2 b yet he 0 und\bt$ly1 at t "t1 9 a confirm$1 incurable consumption4 99,i _h mu* opportunity be=e ?is1 ( p>ticul> in=mation conc]n+ him1 b n[ ,i _h opportunity = a m full acqua9tance ) him4 ,i f\nd him rem>kably sociable1 pleasant1 & ent]ta9+ 9 8 conv]sation2 yet solid1 sav\ry1 spiritual1 & v pr(itable2 appe>+ meek1 mode/1 & humble1 f> f any /iffness1 moros5ess1 sup]/iti\s demur5ess1 or affect$ s+ul>ity 9 spee* or behavi\r4 ,we enjoy$ n only ! b5efit ( 8 conv]sation1 b _h ! com=t ( he>+ him pray 9 ! family1 f "t to "t4 ,8 mann] ( pray+ 0 becom+ a worm ( ! du/1 & a disciple ( ,*ri/ address+ an inf9itely great & holy ,god1 & ,fa!r ( m]cies2 n ) florid expressions1 or a /udi$ eloqu5ce2 n ) any intemp]ate vehem5ce1 or indec5t boldness2 at ! greate/ di/ance f any appe>ance ( o/5tation1 & f e ?+ t might look z ?\gh he meant to recomm5d himself to ^? t 7 ab\t him1 or set himself (f to _! acceptance1 free f va9 repetitions1 )\t imp]t95t excursions1 or ne$less multiply+ ( words4 ,he express$ himself ) ! /ricte/ propriety1 ) weight & pung5cy2 & yet :at 8 lips utt]$ seem$ to fl[ f ! fulness ( 8 he>t1 deeply impress$ ) a great & solemn s5se ( our necessities1 unwor?9ess1 & dep5d5ce1 ( ,god's inf9ite greatness1 excell5cy1 & suffici5cy1 r ?an m]ely f a w>m & fruitful bra94 ,& ,i "k n1 t ev] ,i he>d him s mu* z ask a bless+ or return ?anks at table1 b !re 0 some?+ rem>kable to be obs]v$ bo? 9 ! matt] & mann] ( ! p]=mance4 ,9 8 pray]s he insi/$ mu* on ! prosp]ity ( ,zion1 ! advancem5t ( ,*ri/'s k+dom 9 ! _w1 & ! fl\ri%+ & propagation ( religion among ! ,indians4 ,& he g5]ally made x "o petition 9 8 pray]1 8t we might n outlive our usefulness40 ,?is week he consult$ ,dr4 ,ma!r1 at my h\se1 conc]n+ 8 illness2 :o pla9ly told him !re 7 great evid5ces ( 8 be+ 9 a confirm$ consumption1 & t he c\ld give him no enc\ragem5t1 t he %\ld ev] recov]4 ,b x seem$ n to occasion ! lea/ discomposure 9 him1 nor to make any alt]ation z to ! fre$om or pleasantness ( 8 conv]sation4 99,"l's-day1 ,june #g4 ,my s\l 0 s drawn =?1 ?is day1 by :at ,i he>d ( ! 8exce$+ preci\sness ( ! grace ( ,god's ,_s10 t x almo/ ov]came my body3 ,i saw t true grace is exce$+ preci\s inde$2 t x is v r>e2 & t !re is b a v small degree ( x1 ev5 :]e ! reality ( x is to be f\nd4 ,9 ! prece$+ week1 ,i enjoy$ "s com=table seasons ( m$itation4 ,"o morn+ ! cause ( ,god appe>$ exce$+ preci\s to me3 ,i saw also1 t ,god has an inf9itely great] conc]n = x1 ?an ,i c\ld possibly h2 t if ,i h any true love to ?is bless$ int]e/1 x is only a drop d]iv$ f t ocean4 ,h5ce ,i 0 ready to 8lift up my head ) joy20 & conclude1 8,well1 if ,god's cause be s de> & preci\s to him1 he w promote x40 ,he 0 advis$ by physicians /ill to cont9ue rid+ z :at w\ld t5d to prolong 8 life4 ,he 0 at a loss = "s "t :i* way to b5d 8 c\rse2 b f9ally det]m9$ to ride to ,bo/on2 we hav+ conclud$ t "o ( ?is family %\ld g ) him & be helpful to him 9 8 l[ /ate4 ,tuesday1 ,june #i4 ,i set out on a j\rney f ,nor?ampton to ,bo/on4 ,hav+ n[ cont9u$ to ride = "s consid]able "t1 ,i felt myself mu* bett]1 & ,i f\nd t 9 proportion to ! prospect ,i _h ( be+ re/or$ to a /ate ( usefulness1 ,i desir$ ! cont9uance ( life3 b dea? appe>$ inconceivably m desirable to me1 ?an a useless life2 yet bless$ be ,god1 ,i f\nd my he>t fully resign$ to ?is greate/ ( afflictions1 if ,god saw fit ?us to deal ) me4 ,friday1 ,june #ab4 ,i arriv$ 9 ,bo/on ?is day1 some:at fatigu$ ) my j\rney4 ,!re is no re/ b 9 ,god2 fatigues ( body1 & anxieties ( m9d1 att5d u1 bo? 9 t[n & c\ntry4 8,july0 replac$ ) 8,june0 ,on ,?ursday1 ,june #ah4 ,i 0 tak5 exce$+ ill1 & br\ght to ! gates ( dea?1 by ! break+ ( "s small ulc]s 9 my lungs1 z my physician suppos$4 ,9 ?is weak /ate ,i cont9u$ sev]al weeks1 & 0 frequ5tly s l[1 z to be utt]ly spee*less2 & ev5 aft] ,i _h s f> reviv$ z to /ep out ( doors1 ,i 0 ex]cis$ e day ) a fa9t turn1 :i* cont9u$ usually f\r or five h\rs2 at :i* times1 ?\gh ,i c\ld say ,yes or ,no1 yet ,i c\ld n speak "o s5t5ce1 )\t mak+ /ops = brea?2 & div]s times 9 ?is season1 my fri5ds ga!r$ r\nd my b$ to see me brea! my la/4 ,h[ ,i 01 ! fir/ day or two ( my illness1 ) reg>d to ! ex]cise ( reason1 ,i sc>cely "k2 b ! ?ird day1 & con/antly aft]w>ds1 = f\r or five weeks toge!r1 ,i enjoy$ z mu* s]5ity ( m9d1 & cle>ness ( ?\ght1 z p]haps ,i ev] did 9 my life4 ,& ,i ?9k my m9d nev] p5etrat$ ) s mu* ease & fre$om into div9e ?+s1 & ,i nev] felt s capable ( demon/rat+ ! tru? ( _m important doctr9es ( ! gospel z n[4 ,z ,god 0 pleas$ to af=d me cle>ness ( ?\ght almo/ cont9ually1 = sev]al weeks toge!r2 s he enabl$ me 9 "s measure1 to employ my "t to valuable purposes4 ,i 0 enabl$ to write a numb] ( important lett]s1 to fri5ds 9 remote places2 & sometimes ,i wrote ,i 0 spee*less1 i4 e4 unable to ma9ta9 conv]sation ) any body499,besides ?is ,i _h _m visitants2 ) :om :5 ,i 0 able to speak1 ,i always conv]s$ ( ! ?+s ( religion3 & 0 peculi>ly assi/$ 9 di/+ui%+ betwe5 true & false religion4 ,& especially ,i disc\rs$ repeat$ly on ! nature & necessity ( t humiliation1 self-empt9ess1 or full conviction ( a p]son's be+ utt]ly undone 9 himself1 :i* is necess>y 9 ord] to a sav+ fai?1 & ! extreme difficulty ( be+ br\ght to ?is1 & ! great dang] !re is ( p]sons tak+ up ) "s self-righte\s appe>ances ( x4 ,! dang] ( ?is ,i especially dwelt ^u1 be+ p]suad$ t multitudes p]i% 9 ?is hidd5 way2 because s little is said f mo/ pulpits to discov] any dang] "h3 s t p]sons be+ nev] effectually br\ght to die to !mselves1 are nev] truly unit$ to ,*ri/4 ,i also disc\rs$ mu* on :at ,i take to be ! ess5ce ( true religion1 t ,god-l temp] & disposition ( s\l1 & t holy conv]sation & behavi\r1 t may ju/ly claim ! hon\r ( hav+ ,god = its orig9al patt]n4 ,& ,i h reason to hope ,god bless$ my disc\rs+ to "s1 bo? m9i/]s & p2 s t my "t 0 n :olly lo/4 ,also ! hon\rable ,commission]s 9 ,bo/on1 ( ! incorporat$ society 9 ,london = propagat+ ! gospel 9 ,new-,engl&1 & p>ts adjac5t1 hav+ a legacy ( ! late ,dr4 ,daniel ,williams ( ,london1 = ! support ( two mission>ies to ! ,hea!n1 7 pleas$1 :ile he 0 at ,bo/on1 to consult him ab\t a mission to ^? ,indians call$ ! ,six ,nations2 & 7 s satisfi$ ) 8 s5tim5ts on ?is head1 & _h t confid5ce 9 8 fai?fulness1 & judgm5t1 t !y desir$ him to recomm5d a c\ple ( p]sons fit to be employ$ 9 ?is bus9ess4 8propogat+0 replac$ ) 8propagat+0 ,mr4 ,bra9]d's re/oration f 8 extreme l[ /ate 9 ,bo/on1 s z to g abroad aga9 & to travel1 0 v unexpect$ to him & 8 fri5ds4 ,my daught] :o 0 ) him writes ?us conc]n+ him 9 a lett] dat$ ,june #bc48,on ,?ursday he 0 v ill ( a viol5t fev]1 & extreme pa9 9 8 head & brea/1 & at turns1 deliri\s4 ,s he rema9$ till ,saturday ev5+1 :5 he seem$ to be 9 ! agonies ( dea?3 ! family 0 up ) him 'till "o or two o'clock1 expect+ e h\r w\ld be 8 la/4 ,on sabba? day he 0 a little reviv$1 8 head 0 bett]1 b v full ( pa91 & exce$+ sore at 8 brea/1 mu* put to x = brea?4 ,ye/]day he 0 bett] ^u all acc\nts4 ,la/ night he slept b little4 ,?is morn+ he is mu* worse4,dr4 ,pyn*on says1 he has no hopes ( 8 life2 nor does he ?9k x likely he w ev] come out ( 8 *amb]40 ,8 physician1 ! hon\rable ,joseph ,pyn*on1 ,esq4 :5 he visit$ him 9 ,bo/on1 attribut$ 8 s9k+ s sudd5ly into a /ate s nigh unto dea?1 to ! break+ ( ulc]s1 t _h be5 long ga!r+ 9 8 lungs1 & !re dis*>g+ & diffus+ _! purul5t matt]2 :i*1 :ile nature 0 lab\r+ & /ruggl+ to ?r[ (f1 7t c\ld be done no o!rwise1 ?an by a gradual /ra9+ ( x ?r\gh ! small vessels ( ^? vital p>ts17 ?is occasion$ an high fev] & viol5t c\gh+1 & ?rew ! :ole frame ( nature into ! utmo/ disord]2 b suppos$ if ! /ate ( nature held till ! lungs _h gradually cle>$ !mselves ( ?is putrid matt]1 he might revive1 & cont9ue bett]1 till new ulc]s ga!r$ & broke2 b !n he w\ld surely s9k aga92 & t !re 0 no hope ( 8 recov]y2 b 7z he express$ himself to "o ( my neighb\rs7 he 0 z c]ta9ly a dead man1 z if he 0 %ot ?r\gh ! he>t4 ,b s x 0 ord]$ by div9e ,provid5ce1 t ! /r5g? ( nature held out ?r\gh ?is great conflict1 & !n he reviv$1 to ! a/oni%m5t ( all t knew 8 case4 ,aft] he began to revive1 he 0 visit$ by 8 y\nge/ bro!r ,mr4 ,israel ,bra9]d1 a /ud5t at ,yale-college2 :o hav+ he>d ( 8 extreme illness1 came to ,bo/on to see him4 ,?is visit 0 att5d$ ) a mixture ( joy & sorr[ to ,mr4 ,bra9]d4 ,he greatly rejoic$ to see 8 bro!r1 especially because he _h desir$ an opportunity ( "s religi\s conv]sation ) him be=e he di$4 ,b ?is meet+ 0 att5d$ ) sorr[1 z 8 bro!r br\ght to him ! tid+s ( 8 si/] ,sp5c]'s dea? at ,haddam3 a si/]1 betwe5 :om & him _h long subsi/$ a peculi> de> affection1 & mu* intimacy 9 spiritual matt]s4 ,he _h he>d no?+ ( h] sickness4 ,b he _h ^! com=ts toge!r ) ! tid+s1 a confid5ce ( h] be+ gone to heav51 & an expectation ( soon meet+ h] !re4,8 bro!r cont9u$ ) him till he left ! t[n1 & came ) him f !nce to ,nor?ampton4 ,conc]n+ ! la/ ,sabba? ,mr4 ,bra9]d sp5t at ,bo/on1 he writes 9 8 di>y z foll[s4 ,"l's-day1 ,july #ai4 ,i 0 j able to att5d public wor%ip1 be+ c>ri$ to ! h\se ( ,god 9 a *aise4 ,i he>d ,dr4 ,sewall prea* 9 ! =5oon2 p>took ( ! ,"l's supp] at ?is "t4 ,9 ! sacram5t1 ,i saw a/oni%+ wisdom display$2 su* wisdom z requir$ ! tongues ( angels & glorifi$ sa9ts to celebrate4 ,x seem$ to me ,i nev] %\ld d any ?+ at ador+ ! inf9ite wisdom ( ,god discov]$ 9 ! contrivance ( man's r$emption1 until ,i arriv$ at a _w ( p]fection4 ,yet ,i c\ld n help /riv+ to 8call ^u my s\l1 & all )9 me1 to bless ! "n ( ,god40 ,! next day he set out 9 ! cool ( ! aft]noon1 = ,nor?ampton1 att5d$ by 8 bro!r1 & my daught] t w5t ) him to ,bo/on2 & w\ld h be5 accompani$ out ( ! t[n by a numb] ( g5tlem51 _h n 8 av]sion to any ?+ ( pomp & %ew prev5t$ x4 ,saturday1 ,july #be4 ,i arriv$ at ,nor?ampton1 hav+ set out f ,bo/on on ,monday4 ,9 ?is j\rney1 ,i rode ab\t sixte5 miles a day1 "o day ) ano!r4 ,i 0 sometimes extremely tir$1 s t x seem$ impossible = me to proce$ any fur!r3 at o!r times ,i 0 consid]ably bett]1 & felt "s fre$om bo? ( body & m9d4 ,"l's-day1 ,july #bf4 ,?is day1 ,i saw cle>ly1 t ,god himself c\ld n make me happy unless ,i c\ld be 9 a capacity to 8please & glorify him = ev]40 ,take away ?is1 & admit me into all ! f9e heav5s t c be conceiv$ by m5 or angels1 & ,i %\ld /ill be mis]able = ev]4 ,?\gh he _h reviv$1 s z to be able to travel ?us f>1 yet he manife/$ no expectation ( recov]y3 he suppos$ z 8 physician did1 t 8 be+ br\ght s ne> to dea? at ,bo/on1 0 ow+ to ! break+ ( ulc]s 9 8 lungs4 ,he told me t he _h _h sev]al su* ill turns be=e1 only n to s high a degree1 b z he suppos$ ow+ to ! same cause2 & t he 0 br\ght l[] & l[] e "t2 & x appe>$ to him1 t 9 8 la/ sickness 79 ,bo/on7 he 0 br\ght z l[ z possible1 & yet alive2 & t he _h n ! lea/ expectation ( surviv+ ! next return ( ?is break+ ( ulc]s2 b /ill appe>$ p]fectly calm4 ,on ,w$nesday morn+1 ! week aft] he came to ,nor?ampton1 he took leave ( 8 bro!r ,israel1 nev] expect+ to see him aga9 9 ?is _w4 ,:5 ,mr4 ,bra9]d came hi!r1 he _h s mu* /r5g? z to be able1 f day to day1 to ride out two or ?ree miles1 & to return2 & sometimes to pray 9 ! family2 b f ?is "t he s5sibly decay$1 & became weak] & weak]4 99,:ile he 0 "h1 8 conv]sation f fir/ to la/ 0 mu* on ! same subjects z x _h be5 9 ,bo/on4 ,he 0 mu* 9 speak+ ( ! nature ( true religion1 z di/+ui%$ f its v>i\s c\nt]feits2 express+ 8 great conc]n1 t ! latt] did s mu* prevail 9 s _m places4 ,he (t5 manife/$ 8 great abhorr5ce ( all su* doctr9es & pr9ciples1 z 9 any wise sav\r$ (1 & _h any 7?\gh b a remote7 t5d5cy to ,ant9omianism2 ( all su* notions z seem$ to dim9i% ! necessity ( hol9ess ( life1 or to abate m5's reg>d to ! comm&s ( ,god1 & a /rict1 dilig5t1 & univ]sal practice ( virtue1 "u a pret5ce ( depreciat+ our works1 & magnify+ ,god's free grace4 ,he spake (t5 ) mu* dete/ation1 ( su* discov]ies & joys z h no?+ ( ! nature ( sanctification 9 !m1 & d n t5d to /rictness1 t5d]ness1 & dilig5ce 9 religion1 & meekness & b5evol5ce t[>d mank9d3 & he also decl>$1 t he look$ on su* pret5d$ humility z wor?y ( no reg>d1 t 0 n manife/$ by mode/y ( conduct & conv]sation4 99,aft] he came hi!r1 z long z he liv$1 he 0 mu* 9 speak+ ( ! future prosp]ity ( ,zion t is s (t5 promis$ 9 scripture3 & 8 m9d seem$ to be c>ri$ =? ) int5se desires1 t religion might spe$ily revive & fl\ri%2 yea1 ! ne>] dea? advanc$1 /ill ! m did 8 m9d seem to be tak5 up ) ?is subject4 ,he told me1 :5 ne> 8 end1 t 8he nev] 9 all 8 life _h 8 m9d s l$ =? 9 desires & e>ne/ pray]s = ! fl\ri%+ ( ,*ri/'s k+dom on e>?1 z s9ce he 0 br\ght s exce$+ l[ at ,bo/on40 ,he seem$ mu* to wond]1 t !re appe>$ no m ( a disposition 9 m9i/]s & p to pray = ! fl\ri%+ ( religion ?r\gh ! _w2 t s little a "p ( _! pray]s 0 g5]ally tak5 up ab\t x1 9 _! families1 & else:]e2 & p>ticul>ly1 he sev]al times express$ 8 wond]1 t !re appe>$ no m =w>dness to comply ) ! proposal lately made 9 a memorial f a numb] ( m9i/]s 9 ,scotl&1 & s5t ov] into ,am]ica1 = unit$ extraord9>y pray]1 among ,*ri/'s m9i/]s & p1 = ! com+ ( ,*ri/'s k+dom3 & he s5t z 8 dy+ advice to 8 own congregation1 t !y %\ld practise agreeably to t proposal4 ,8 congregation1 s9ce ?is1 h ) great *e>fulness & unanimity fall5 9 ) ?is advice1 & h practis$ agreeably to ! proposal f ,scotl&2 & h at times appe>$ ) uncommon engag$ness & f]v5cy ( _s 9 _! unit$ devotions1 pursuant to t proposal4 ,also ! presbyt]ies ( ,new-,york1 & ,new-,brunswick1 s9ce ?is1 h ) "o cons5t1 fall5 9 ) ! proposal1 z likewise "s o!rs ( ,god's p 9 ^? p>ts4 99,?\gh he 0 exce$+ weak1 yet !re appe>$ 9 him a cont9ual c>e well to employ "t1 & fill x up ) some?+ t might be pr(itable2 ei!r pr(itable conv]sation1 or writ+ lett]s to abs5t fri5ds1 or not+ some?+ 9 8 di>y1 or look+ ov] 8 =m] writ+s1 correct+ !m1 & prep>+ !m to be left 9 ! h&s ( o!rs at 8 dea?1 or giv+ "s directions conc]n+ a future managem5t ( 8 p1 or employm5t 9 secret devotions4 ,he seem$ nev] to be easy1 h[ev] ill1 if he 0 n do+ some?+ = ,god1 or 9 8 s]vice4 ,9 8 di>y = ,"l's-day1 ,augu/ #af1 he speaks ( 8 hav+ s mu* refre%m5t ( s\l 9 ! h\se ( ,god1 t x seem$ also to refre% 8 body4 ,& ?is is n only not$ 9 8 di>y1 b 0 v obs]vable to o!rs3 x 0 v app>5t1 n only1 t 8 m9d 0 exhil>at$ ) inw>d consolation1 b also t 8 animal spirits & bodily /r5g? 7 rem>kably re/or$4,b ?is 0 ! la/ "t t ev] he att5d$ public wor%ip on ! sabba?4 ,on ,tuesday morn+ t week 7,i be+ abs5t on a j\rney7 he pray$ ) my family3 b n )\t mu* difficulty2 & ?is 0 ! la/ family pray] t ev] he made4 ,he _h be5 wont1 till n[1 frequ5tly to ride out1 two or ?ree miles2 b ?is week1 on ,?ursday1 0 ! la/ "t he ev] did s4 ,"l's-day1 ,augu/ #bc4 ,?is morn+ ,i 0 consid]ably refre%$ ) ! ?\ght1 yea1 ! expectation ( ! enl>gem5t ( ,*ri/'s k+dom2 & ,i c\ld n b hope1 ! "t 0 at h&1 :5 ,babylon ! ,great w\ld fall1 & rise no m4 ,i 0 unable to att5d public wor%ip3 b ,god 0 pleas$ to af=d me satisfaction 9 div9e ?\ghts4 ,no?+ s refre%es my s\l1 z :5 ,i c g to ,god1 yea1 to ,god my exce$+ joy4 99,9 ?is week pa/1 ,i _h div]s turns ( inw>d refre%+1 ?\gh my body 0 inexpressibly weak4 ,sometimes my s\l c5t]$ 9 ,god1 z my only portion2 & ,i felt t ,i %\ld be = ev] unhappy1 if he did n reign3 ,i saw ! sweetness & happ9ess ( be+ 8 subject1 at 8 disposal4 ,?is made all my difficulties quickly vani%4 ,till ?is week he _h be5 wont to lodge 9 a room above /airs2 b he n[ grew s weak1 t he 0 no long] able to g up /airs & d[n4 ,friday1 ,augu/ #bh1 0 ! la/ "t he ev] w5t above /airs1 h5ce=w>d he betook himself to a l[] room4 ,on ,w$nesday1 ,septemb] #b4 ,be+ ! day ( our public lecture1 he seem$ to be refre%$ ) see+ ! neighb\r+ m9i/]s1 & express$ a great desire once m to g to ! h\se ( ,god3 & accord+ly rode to ! meet+1 & att5d$ div9e s]vice1 :ile ! ,rev4 ,mr4 ,woodbridge ( ,hatfield prea*$4 ,he signifi$ t he suppos$ x to be ! la/ "t t ev] he %\ld att5d ! public wor%ip1 z x prov$4 ,& inde$ x 0 ! la/ "t t ev] he w5t out at our gate alive4 ,on ! ,saturday ev5+ next foll[+1 he 0 unexpect$ly visit$ by 8 bro!r ,mr4 ,john ,bra9]d4 ,he 0 mu* refre%$ by ?is unexpect$ visit1 ?is bro!r be+ peculi>ly de> to him3 & he seem$ to rejoice 9 a dev\t mann]1 to see him1 & to he> ! com=table tid+s he br\ght conc]n+ ! /ate ( 8 de> ,indians3 & a circum/ance ( ?is visit1 t he 0 exce$+ glad (1 01 t 8 bro!r br\ght him "s ( 8 private writ+s f ,new-,j]sey1 & p>ticul>ly 8 di>y t he _h kept = _m ye>s pa/4 ,"l's-day1 ,septemb] #f4 ,i began to read "s ( my private writ+s1 :i* my bro!r br\ght me2 & 0 consid]ably refre%$ ) :at ,i met ) 9 !m4 ,monday1 ,septemb] #g4 ,i proce$$ fur!r 9 read+ my old private writ+s1 & f\nd !y _h ! same effect ^u me z be=e3 ,i c\ld n b rejoice & bless ,god = :at pass$ long ago1 :i* )\t writ+ _h be5 entirely lo/4 99,?is ev5+ :5 ,i 0 9 great di/ress ( body1 my s\l long$ t ,god %\ld be glorifi$3 ,i saw !re 0 no heav5 b ?is4 ,i c\ld n b speak to ! by-/&]s !n ( ! only happ9ess1 viz4 pleas+ ,god4 ,oh t ,i c\ld ev] live to ,god6 ,! day1 ,i tru/1 is at h&1 ! p]fect day3 ,oh1 ! day ( deliv]ance f all s96 ,"l's-day1 ,septemb] #ac4 ,i 0 mu* refre%$ & engag$ 9 m$itation & writ+1 & f\nd a he>t to act = ,god4 ,my spirits 7 refre%$1 & my s\l delight$ to d some?+ = ,god4 ,on ! ev5+ foll[+ t ,"l's-day1 8 feet began to swell1 :i* !nce=w>d swell$ m & m4 ,a symptom ( 8 dissolution com+ on4 ,! next day 8 bro!r left him1 be+ oblig$ to return to ,new-,j]sey on "s bus9ess ( great importance1 int5d+ to return aga9 ) all possible spe$1 hop+ to see 8 bro!r yet once m 9 ! l& ( ! liv+4 ,mr4 ,bra9]d hav+ n[ ) mu* delib]ation consid]$ ! important affair be=e-m5tion$1 left ) him by ! hon\rable commission]s 9 ,bo/on1 viz4 ! recomm5d+ two p]sons prop] to be employ$ z mission>ies to ! six nations1 he ab\t ?is "t wrote a lett]1 recomm5d+ two "y g5tlem5 ( 8 acqua9tance ,mr4 ,elihu ,sp5c] ( ,ea/-,haddam1 & ,mr4 ,job ,/rong ( ,nor?ampton4 ,! commission]s on ! receipt ( ?is lett]1 unanim\sly agre$ to accept ( ! p]sons he _h recomm5d$4 ,he also ?is week1 wrote a lett] to a g5tleman 9 ,bo/on1 relat+ to ! gr[? ( ! ,indian s*ool1 & ! ne$ ( ano!r s*ool-ma/]4 ,! g5tlem51 on ! receipt ( ?is lett]1 _h a meet+1 & agre$ ) *e>fulness to give #bjjl4 79 bills ( ! old t5or7 = ! support ( ano!r s*ool-ma/]2 & desir$ ! ,rev4 ,mr4 ,pemb]ton ( ,new-,york1 z soon z possible to procure a suitable p]son = t s]vice3 & also agre$ to all[ #gel4 to defray "s special *>ges t 7 requisite to enc\rage ! mission to ! six ,nations4 ,mr4 ,bra9]d sp5t himself mu* 9 writ+ ^? lett]s1 be+ exce$+ weak3 b x seem$ to be mu* to 8 satisfaction1 t he _h be5 enabl$ to d x2 hop+ t x 0 some?+ done = ,god1 & :i* might be = ! advancem5t ( ,*ri/'s k+dom & glory4 ,9 writ+ ! la/ ( ^! lett]s1 he 0 oblig$ to use ! h& ( ano!r1 n be+ able to write himself4 ,on ! ,?ursday ( ?is week 7,septemb] #ag47 0 ! la/ "t t ev] he w5t out ( 8 lodg+-room4 ,t day1 he 0 aga9 visit$ by 8 bro!r ,israel1 :o cont9u$ ) him !nce=w>d till 8 dea?4 99,on t ev5+ he 0 tak5 ) some?+ ( a di>rhea2 :i* he look$ ^u z ano!r sign ( 8 approa*+ dea?3 :]eupon he express$ himself ?us2 8,oh1 ! glori\s "t is n[ com+6 ,i h long$ to s]ve ,god p]fectly3 n[ ,god w gratify ^? desires60 ,& f "t to "t1 at ! sev]al new symptoms ( 8 dissolution1 he 0 s f> f be+ damp$1 t he seem$ to be animat$2 z be+ glad at ! appe>ances ( dea?'s approa*4 ,he (t5 us$ ! epi!t1 glori\s1 :5 speak+ ( ! day ( 8 dea?1 call+ x t glori\s day4 ,& z he saw 8 dissolution gradually approa*+1 he 0 mu* 9 talk+ ab\t x1 & also settl+ all 8 affairs1 v p>ticul>ly & m9utely giv+ directions conc]n+ :at he w\ld h done4 ,& ! ne>] dea? approa*$1 ! m desir\s he seem$ to be ( x4 ,he sev]al times spake ( ! diff]5t k9ds ( will+ness to die2 & spoke ( x z a mean k9d ( will+ness to die1 to be will+ to leave ! body only to get rid ( pa94 99,saturday1 ,septemb] #ai4 ,:ile ,i attempt$ to walk a little1 my ?\ghts turn$ ?us2 8,h[ inf9itely sweet x is1 to love ,god1 & be all = him60 ,^u :i* x 0 sugge/$ to me1 8,y are n an angel1 lively & active40 ,to :i* my s\l imm$iately repli$1 ,i z s9c]ely desire to love & glorify ,god1 z any angel 9 heav540 ,^u :i* x 0 sugge/$ aga91 8,b y are fil?y1 & n fit = heav540 ,h]eupon in/antly appe>$ ! bless$ robes ( ,*ri/'s righte\sness1 :i* ,i c\ld n b exult & triumph 92 & ,i view$ ! inf9ite excell5cy ( ,god1 & my s\l ev5 broke out ) long+s1 t ,god %\ld be glorifi$4 ,i ?\ght ( dignity 9 heav53 b in/antly ! ?\ght return$1 8,i d n g to heav5 to get hon\r1 b to give all possible glory & praise40 ,oh1 h[ ,i long$ t ,god %\ld be glorifi$ on e>? also6 ,bodily pa9s ,i c>$ n =3 ?\gh ,i 0 !n 9 extremity1 ,i nev] felt easi]2 ,i felt will+ to glorify ,god 9 t /ate1 z long z he pleas$4 ,! grave appe>$ really sweet1 & ,i long$ to lodge my we>y bones 9 x3 b ,oh1 t ,god might be glorifi$6 ?is 0 ! burd5 ( all my cry4 ,oh1 ,i knew1 ,i %\ld be active z an angel1 9 heav52 & t ,i %\ld be /ripp$ ( my fil?y g>m5ts6,b ,oh1 to love & praise ,god m1 to please him = ev]6 ?is my s\l pant$ aft]1 & ev5 n[ pants = :ile ,i write4 ,oh t ,god might be glorifi$ 9 ! :ole e>?6 8,"l1 let ?y k+dom come40 ,i long$ = a _s ( prea*+ to desc5d & re/ on m9i/]s1 t !y might address ! consci5ces ( m5 ) clos5ess & p[]4 ,i saw ,god1 _h ! residue ( ! _s2 & my s\l long$ x %\ld be 8p\r$ f on high40 ,i c\ld n b plead ) ,god = my de> congregation1 t he w\ld pres]ve x1 & n suff] 8 great "n to lose its glory 9 t "w2 my s\l /ill long+1 t ,god might be glorifi$4 8possibly0 replac$ ) 8possible0 p] ,errata 99,9 ! ev5+1 8 m\? spake out ( ! abundance ( 8 he>t1 express+ 9 a v affect+ mann] mu* ! same ?+s z are writt5 9 8 di>y3 & among _m o!r extraord9>y expressions1 7 ^!2 8,my heav5 is to please ,god1 & glorify him1 & to give all to him1 & to be :olly devot$ to 8 glory2 t is ! heav5 ,i long =2 ?is is my religion1 & t is my happ9ess1 & always 01 ev] s9ce ,i _h any true religion2 & all ^? t are ( t religion %all meet me 9 heav5,i d n g to heav5 to be advanc$1 b to give hon\r to ,god4 ,x is no matt] :]e ,i %all be /ation$ 9 heav51 :e!r ,i h a high or a l[ seat !re2 b to love1 & please1 & glorify ,god is all3 _h ,i a ?\s& s\ls1 if !y 7 wor? any ?+1 ,i w\ld give !m all to ,god2 b ,i h no?+ to give1 :5 all is done4,x is impossible = any rational creature to be happy )\t act+ all = ,god2 ,god himself c\ld n make him happy any o!r way4,i long to be 9 heav51 prais+ & glorify+ ,god ) ! holy angels3 all my desire is to glorify ,god4,my he>t goes out to ! bury+-place2 x seems to me a desirable place2 b ,oh to glorify ,god6 t is x2 t is above all4,x is a great com=t to me1 to ?9k t ,i h done a little = ,god 9 ! _w3 ,oh6 x is b a v small matt]2 yet ,i h done a little1 & ,i lam5t x1 t ,i h done no m = him4,!re is no?+ 9 ! _w wor? liv+ =1 b do+ good & f9i%+ ,god's "w4 ,i see no?+ else 9 ! _w1 t c yield any satisfaction1 besides liv+ to ,god1 pleas+ him1 & do+ 8 :ole w4,my greate/ joy & com=t has be51 to d some?+ = promot+ ! int]e/ ( religion1 & ! s\ls ( p>ticul> p]sons3 & n[1 9 my illness1 :ile ,i am full ( pa9 & di/ress f day to day1 all ! com=t ,i h1 is 9 be+ able to d "s little *> 7or small piece ( "w7 = ,god2 ei!r by some?+ t ,i say1 or by writ+1 or "s o!r way40 ,he int]m+l$ ) ^! & o!r l expressions1 _m pa!tic c\nsels to ^? t 7 ab\t him2 p>ticul>ly to my *ildr5 & s]vants4 ,he appli$ himself to "s ( my y\ng] *ildr5 at ?is "t2 call+ !m to him1 & speak+ to !m "o by "o2 sett+ be=e !m 9 a v pla9 mann]1 ! nature ( true piety1 & its great importance2 e>ne/ly w>n+ !m n to re/ 9 any ?+ %ort ( t true & ?or\gh *ange ( he>t1 & a life devot$ to ,god2 c\nsell+ !m n to be slack 9 ! great bus9ess ( religion1 nor 9 ! lea/ to delay x2 en=c+ 8 c\nsels ) ?is1 t 8 words 7 ! words ( a dy+ man2 said he1 8,i %all die "h1 & "h %all ,i be buri$1 & "h y w see my grave1 & d y rememb] :at ,i h said to y4 ,i am go+ into et]nity3 ! endlessness ( x makes x sweet3 b ,oh1 :at %all ,i say to ! et]nity ( ! wick$6 ,i _c m5tion x1 nor ?9k ( x2 ! ?\ght is too dreadful4 ,:5 y see my grave1 !n rememb] :at ,i said to y :5 ,i 0 alive2 !n ?9k ) y\rself h[ ! man t lies 9 t grave1 c\nsell$ & w>n$ me to prep>e = dea?40 ,8 body seem$ to be m>vel\sly /r5g!n$1 ?r\gh ! inw>d vig\r ( 8 m9d2 s t1 al?\gh be=e he 0 s weak he c\ld h>dly utt] a s5t5ce1 yet n[ he cont9u$ 8 mo/ affect+ disc\rse = m ?an an h\r1 ) sc>ce any int]mission2 & said ( x1 :5 he _h done1 8x 0 ! la/ s]mon t ev] he %\ld prea*40 ,x appe>s by :at is not$ 9 8 di>y1 bo? ( ?is day & ! ev5+ prece$+1 t 8 m9d 0 at ?is "t mu* impress$ ) a s5se ( ! importance ( ! "w ( ! m9i/ry1 & ! ne$ ( ! grace ( ,god1 & 8 special assi/ance 9 ?is "w2 & x also appe>$ 9 :at he express$ 9 conv]sation2 p>ticul>ly 9 8 disc\rse to 8 bro!r ,israel1 :o 0 !n a memb] ( ,yale-college at ,new-,hav51 & _h be5 prosecut+ 8 /udies !re1 to ! end t he might be fitt$ = ! "w ( ! m9i/ry1 & 0 n[ ) him4 ,he n[1 & f "t to "t1 recomm5d$ to 8 bro!r a life ( self-d5ial1 ( wean$ness f ! _w1 & devot$ness to ,god1 & an e>ne/ endeav\r to obta9 mu* ( ! grace ( ,god's ,_s1 & ,god's graci\s influ5ces on 8 he>t2 repres5t+ ! great ne$ :i* m9i/]s /& 9 ( !m1 & ! unspeakable b5efit ( !m f 8 own exp]i5ce4 ,among _m o!r expressions he said1 998,:5 m9i/]s feel ^! graci\s influ5ces on _! he>ts1 x wond]fully assi/s !m to come at ! consci5ces ( m51 & z x 7 to h&le !m ) _! h&s2 :]eas1 )\t !m1 :atev] reason & oratory we make use (1 we d b make use ( /umps in/ead ( h&s40 ,monday1 ,septemb] #ba4 ,i began to correct a little volume ( my private writ+s3 ,god1 ,i believe1 rem>kably help$ me 9 x3 my /r5g? 0 surpris+ly l5g!n$ out1 my ?\ghts quick & lively1 & my s\l refre%$1 hop+ x might be a "w = ,god4 ,oh1 h[ good1 h[ sweet x is to lab\r = ,god6 8supris+ly0 replac$ ) 8surpris+ly0 ,tuesday1 ,septemb] #bb4 ,i 0 aga9 employ$ 9 read+ & correct+1 & _h ! same success1 z ! day be=e4 ,i 0 exce$+ weak2 b x seem$ to refre% my s\l ?us to sp5d my "t4 ,w$nesday1 ,septemb] #bc4 ,i f9i%$ my corrections ( ! little piece =em5tion$1 & felt uncommonly peaceful3 x seem$ z if ,i _h n[ done all my "w 9 ?is _w1 & /ood ready = my call to a bett]4 99,z long z ,i see any ?+ to be done = ,god1 life is wor? hav+3 b ,oh1 h[ va9 & unwor?y x is1 to live = any l[] end6 ,friday1 ,septemb] #be4 ,?is day ,i 0 unspeakably weak1 & little bett] ?an spee*less all ! day3 h[ev]1 ,i 0 able to write a little1 & felt com=tably4 ,oh1 x refre%$ my s\l1 to ?9k ( =m] ?+s1 ( desires to glorify ,god1 ( ! pleasures ( liv+ to him6 8,oh my de> ,god1 ,i am spe$ily com+ to !e1 ,i hope6 ,ha/5 ! day1 ,o ,"l1 if x be ?y bless$ w3 ,oh come1 ,"l ,jesus1 come quickly4 ,am540 ,?is 0 ! la/ t ev] he wrote 9 8 di>y ) 8 own h&3 ?\gh x is cont9u$ a little f>!r1 9 a brok5 mann]2 writt5 by 8 bro!r ,israel1 b indit$ by 8 m\?4 ,septemb] #bg4 ,he felt an unusual appetite to food2 ) :i* 8 m9d seem$ to be exhil>at$1 z a sign ( ! v ne> approa* ( dea?4 ,he said ^u x1 8,i 0 born on a sabba?-day2 & ,i h reason to ?9k ,i 0 new-born on a sabba?-day2 & ,i hope ,i %all die on ?is sabba?-day2 ,i %all look ^u x z a fav\r1 if x may be ! w ( ,god t x %\ld be s3 ,i long = ! "t4 ,oh1 :y is ! *>iot s long 9 com+8 :y t>ry ! :eels ( 8 *>iot8 ,i am v will+ to "p ) all3 ,i am will+ to "p ) my de> bro!r ,john1 & nev] to see him aga91 to g to be = ev] ) ! ,"l4 ,oh1 :5 ,i g !re1 h[ w ,god's de> *ur* on e>? be ^u my m9d60 99,aft]w>ds ! same morn+1 be+ ask$ h[ he did8 he answ]$1 8,i am almo/ 9 et]nity3 ,i long to be !re4 ,my "w is done3 ,i h done ) all my fri5ds2 all ! _w is no?+ to me4 ,i long to be 9 heav51 prais+ & glorify+ ,god ) ! holy angels3 all my desire is to glorify ,god40 ,dur+ ! :ole ( ^! la/ two weeks ( 8 life1 he seem$ to cont9ue loose f all ! _w1 z hav+ done 8 "w1 & done ) all ?+s "h bel[1 hav+ no?+ to d b to die1 & abid+ 9 an e>ne/ desire & expectation ( ! happy mom5t1 :5 8 s\l %\ld take its flight1 & g to a /ate ( p]fection1 ( hol9ess1 & p]fect glory+ & enjoy+ ,god4 ,he said1 8,t ! consid]ation ( ! day ( dea?1 & ! day ( judgm5t1 _h a long "t be5 peculi>ly sweet to him40 ,he f "t to "t spake ( 8 be+ will+ to leave ! body & ! _w imm$iately1 if x 0 ! w ( ,god4 ,he also 0 mu* 9 express+ 8 long+ t ! *ur* ( ,*ri/ on e>? might fl\ri%1 & ,*ri/'s k+dom "h might be advanc$1 not)/&+ he 0 ab\t to leave ! e>?1 & %\ld n ) 8 eyes behold ! desirable ev5t4 ,he said to me1 "o morn+1 8,my ?\ghts h be5 employ$ on ! old de> !me1 ! prosp]ity ( ,god's *ur* on e>?4 ,z ,i wak$ out ( sleep1 ,i 0 l$ to cry = ! p\r+ out ( ,god's ,_s1 & ! advancem5t ( ,*ri/'s k+dom1 :i* ! de> ,r$eem] did1 & suff]$ s mu* =4 ,x is t especially makes me long = x40 ,he once told me1 t 8he _h =m]ly long$ = ! out-p\r+ ( ! ,_s ( ,god1 & ! glori\s times ( ! *ur*1 & hop$ !y 7 com+3 & %\ld h be5 will+ to h liv$ to promote religion at t "t1 if t _h be5 ! w ( ,god3 b 7says he7 ,i am will+ x %\ld be z x is3 ,i w\ld n h ! *oice to make = myself1 = t5 ?\s& worlds40 ,he express$ on 8 dea?-b$ a full p]suasion t he %\ld 9 heav5 see ! prosp]ity ( ! *ur* on e>?1 & %\ld rejoice ) ,*ri/ !re92 & ! consid]ation ( x seem$ to be highly pleas+ to 8 m9d4 ,he also /ill dwelt mu* on ! great importance ( ! "w ( m9i/]s2 & express$ 8 long+s1 t !y might be fill$ ) ! ,_s ( ,god2 & manife/$ mu* desire to see "s ( ! neighb\r+ m9i/]s1 :om he _h "s acqua9tance )1 t he might conv]se freely ) !m on t subject be=e he di$4 ,& x s happ5$1 t he _h opportunity ) "s ( !m1 accord+ to 8 desire4 ,ano!r ?+ t lay mu* on 8 he>t1 & t he spake (1 f "t to "t1 9 ^! ne> approa*es ( dea?1 0 ! spiritual prosp]ity ( 8 own congregation3 & :5 he spake ( !m1 x 0 ) peculi> t5d]ness1 s t 8 spee* w\ld be pres5tly int]rupt$ & dr[n$ ) te>s4 99,he also express$ mu* satisfaction 9 ! disposals ( ,provid5ce1 ) reg>d to ! circum/ances ( 8 dea?2 p>ticul>ly t ,god _h be=e 8 dea? giv5 him ! opportunity he _h 9 ,bo/on1 ) s _m consid]able p]sons1 m9i/]s1 & o!rs1 to give 9 8 te/imony = ,god1 & aga9/ false religion2 & !re to lay be=e *>itable g5tlem51 ! /ate ( ! ,indians1 to s good effect2 & t ,god _h s9ce giv5 him an opportunity to write to !m f>!r conc]n+ ^! affairs2 & to write o!r lett]s ( importance1 t he hop$ might be ( good influ5ce ) reg>d to ! /ate ( religion among ! ,indians1 & else:]e1 aft] 8 dea?4 ,he also m5tion$ x z :at he acc\nt$ a m]ciful circum/ance ( 8 dea?1 t he %\ld die "h4 ,& speak+ ( ^! ?+s1 he said1 8,god _h grant$ him all 8 desire20 & signifi$1 t n[ he c\ld ) ! great] alacrity leave ! _w4 ,monday1 ,septemb] #bh4 ,i 0 able to read1 & make "s few corrections 9 my private writ+s2 b f\nd ,i c\ld n write z ,i _h done2 ,i f\nd myself s5sibly decl9+ 9 all respects4 ,x has be5 only f a little :ile be=e noon1 till ab\t "o or two o'clock1 t ,i h be5 able to d any ?+ = "s "t pa/3 yet ?is refre%$ my he>t1 t ,i c\ld d any ?+1 ei!r public or private = ,god4 ,?is ev5+1 he 0 suppos$ to be dy+3 he ?\ght s himself1 & 0 ?\ght s by ^? :o 7 ab\t him4 ,he seem$ glad at ! appe>ance ( dea?4 ,he 0 almo/ spee*less1 b 8 lips appe>$ to move3 & "o t sat v ne> him1 he>d him utt]1 8,come1 ,"l ,jesus1 come quickly4,oh1 :y is 8 *>iot s long 9 com+60,aft] he reviv$1 he blam$ himself = hav+ be5 too eag] to be gone4 99,& 9 express+ :at he f\nd 9 8 m9d at t "t1 he said1 he !n f\nd an inexpressibly sweet love to ^? t he look$ ^u z belong+ to ,*ri/1 beyond all t ev] he felt be=e2 s t x 8seem$ 7to use 8 own words7 l a little piece ( heav5 to h "o ( !m ne> him40 ,& be+ ask$1 :e!r he he>d ! pray] t 0 7at 8 desire7 made ) him2 he said1 8,yes1 he he>d e ^w1 & _h an uncommon s5se ( ! ?+s t 7 utt]$ 9 t pray]1 & t e ^w rea*$ 8 he>t40 ,on ! ev5+ ( ,tuesday1 ,septemb] #bi1 z he lay 9 8 b$1 8 m9d seem$ greatly engag$ conc]n+ ! prosp]ity ( ,zion3 !re be+ pres5t at t "t two c&idates = ! m9i/ry1 he desir$ u all to unite 9 s++ a psalm on t subject1 ev5 ,zion's prosp]ity4 ,& on 8 desire we sung a "p ( ! #ajb;d ,psalm4 ,?is seem$ mu* to refre% him1 & gave him new /r5g?2 s t1 ?\gh be=e he c\ld sc>ce speak at all1 n[ he proce$$1 ) "s fre$om ( spee*1 to give 8 dy+ c\nsels to ^? two "y g5tlem51 relat+ to ! great "w ( ! m9i/ry !y 7 design$ =4 ,9 p>ticul>1 he e>ne/ly recomm5d$ to !m frequ5t secret fa/+ & pray]3 & en=c$ 8 c\nsel ) reg>d to ?is1 f 8 own exp]i5ce ( ! great com=t & b5efit ( x2 :i* 7said he7 ,i %\ld n m5tion1 7 x n t ,i am a dy+ p]son4 ,& aft] he _h f9i%$ 8 c\nsel1 he made a pray]1 9 ! audi5ce ( u all2 :]e91 besides pray+ = 8 family1 = 8 bre?r51 & ^? c&idates = ! m9i/ry1 & = 8 own congregation1 he e>ne/ly pray$ = ! reviv+ & fl\ri%+ ( religion 9 ! _w4 ,till n[1 he _h e day sat up "p ( ! day2 b aft] ?is he nev] rose f 8 b$4 ,w$nesday1 ,septemb] #cj4 ,i 0 oblig$ to keep my b$ ! :ole day1 ?r\gh weakness4 ,h[ev] ,i r$eem$ a little "t1 & ) ! help ( my bro!r1 read & correct$ ab\t a doz5 pages 9 my ,m4 ,s4 giv+ an acc\nt ( my conv]sion4 ,friday1 ,octob] #b4 ,my s\l 0 ?is day1 at turns1 sweetly set on ,god3 ,i long$ to be ) him1 t ,i might behold 8 glory3 ,i felt sweetly dispos$ to commit all to him1 ev5 my de>e/ fri5ds2 my de>e/ flock1 & my abs5t bro!r1 & all my conc]ns = "t & et]nity4 ,oh t 8 k+dom might come into ! _w2 t !y might all love & glorify him2 & t ! bless$ ,r$eem] might 8see ( ! travail ( 8 s\l1 & be satisfi$6 ,oh1 come1 ,"l ,jesus1 come quickly6 ,am540 ,"h ends 8 di>y3 ^! are ! la/ words1 t are writt5 9 x1 ei!r by 8 own h&1 or f 8 m\?4 ,! next ev5+ we mu* expect$ 8 bro!r ,john f ,new-,j]sey2 x be+ ab\t a week aft] ! "t t he propos$ = 8 return4 ,& ?\gh our expectations 7 /ill disappo9t$2 yet ,mr4 ,bra9]d seem$ to cont9ue unmov$1 9 ! same calm frame1 t he _h be=e manife/$2 z hav+ resign$ all to ,god1 & hav+ done ) 8 fri5ds1 & ) all ?+s "h bel[4 99,on ! morn+ ( ! next day1 be+ ,"l's-day1 ,octob] #d1 z my daught] ,j]u%a 7:o *iefly t5d$ him7 came into ! room1 he look$ on h] v pleasantly1 & said1 8,de> ,j]u%a1 are y will+ to "p ) me8,i am q will+ to "p ) y2 ,i am will+ to "p ) all my fri5ds3 ,i am will+ to "p ) my de> bro!r ,john1 al?\gh ,i love him ! be/ ( any creature liv+2 ,i h committ$ him & all my fri5ds to ,god1 & c leave !m ) ,god4 ,?\gh1 if ,i ?\ght ,i %\ld n see y1 & be happy ) y 9 ano!r _w ,i c\ld n be> to "p ) y4 ,b we %all sp5d an happy et]nity toge!r60 ,9 ! ev5+1 z "o came into ! room ) a bible 9 h] h&1 he said1 8,oh1 t de> book6 t lovely book6 ,i %all soon see x op5$6 ! my/]ies t are 9 x1 & ! my/]ies ( ,god's provid5ce1 w be all unfold$60 ,s9ce ?is1 x has pleas$ ,god to take away ?is my de> *ild1 on ! #ad? ( ,febru>y next foll[+1 aft] a %ort illness ( five days1 9 ! eighte5? ye> ( h] age4 ,%e 0 a p]son ( mu* ! same _s ) ,mr4 ,bra9]d4 ,%e _h con/antly tak5 c>e (1 & att5d$ him 9 8 sickness1 = n9ete5 weeks be=e 8 dea?1 devot+ h]self to x ) great delight1 because %e look$ on him z an em95t s]vant ( ,jesus ,*ri/4 ,9 ?is "t1 he _h mu* conv]sation ) h] on ?+s ( religion2 & 9 8 dy+ /ate1 (t5 express$ to u1 h] p>5ts1 8 great satisfaction conc]n+ h] true piety1 & 8 confid5ce t he %\ld meet h] 9 heav52 & 8 high op9ion ( h]1 n only z a true ,*ri/ian1 b a v em95t sa9t2 "o ^: s\l 0 uncommonly f$ & ent]ta9$ ) ?+s t app]ta9 to ! mo/ spiritual p>ts ( religion2 & "o :o1 by ! temp] ( h] m9d1 0 fitt$ to d5y h]self = ,god1 & to d good beyond any "y woman t he knew (4 ,%e _h manife/$ a he>t uncommonly devot$ to ,god1 9 ! c\rse ( h] life1 _m ye>s be=e h] dea?2 & said on h] dea?-b$1 t 8%e _h n se5 "o m9ute = sev]al ye>s1 :]e9 %e desir$ to live "o m9ute long]1 = ! sake ( any o!r good 9 life1 b do+ good1 liv+ to ,god1 & do+ :at might be = 8 glory40 ,8 di/emp] n[ app>5tly prey$ on 8 vitals3 n by a sudd5 break+ ( ulc]s 9 8 lungs1 z at ,bo/on1 b by a con/ant dis*>ge ( purul5t matt]1 9 great quantities2 s t :at he br\ght up by expectoration1 seem$ to be z x 7 m\?fuls ( almo/ cle> pus2 :i* 0 att5d$ ) v great inw>d pa9 & di/ress4 8petul5t0 replac$ ) 8purul5t0 p] ,errata ,on ,?ursday1 ,octob] #f1 he lay = a consid]able "t1 z if he 0 dy+4 ,at :i* "t1 he 0 he>d to utt] 9 brok5 :isp]s1 su* expressions z ^!2 8,he w come1 he w n t>ry4,i %all soon be 9 glory4,i %all soon glorify ,god ) ! angels40,b aft] "s "t he reviv$4 ,! next day1 viz4 ,w$nesday1 ,octob] #g1 8 bro!r ,john arriv$ f ,new-,j]sey1 :]e he _h be5 deta9$ mu* long] ?an he int5d$1 by a mortal sickness prevail+ among ! ,*ri/ian ,indians4 ,mr4 ,bra9]d 0 refre%$ ) see+ him1 & appe>$ fully satisfi$ ) ! reasons ( 8 delay2 see+ ! int]e/ ( religion & ( ! s\ls ( 8 p requir$ x4 ,! next day1 ,?ursday1 ,octob] #h4 ,he told me x 0 impossible = anyone to conceive ! di/ress he felt 9 8 brea/4 ,he manife/$ mu* conc]n le/ he %\ld di%on\r ,god by impati5ce4 ,he desir$ t o!rs w\ld be mu* 9 lift+ up _! he>ts to ,god = him4 ,he signifi$1 t he expect$ to die t night2 b seem$ to fe> a long] delay3 & ! disposition ( 8 m9d ) reg>d to dea? appe>$ /ill ! same t x _h be5 all along4 ,& not)/&+ 8 bodily agonies1 yet ! int]e/ ( ,zion lay /ill ) great weight on 8 m9d2 z appe>$ by "s consid]able disc\rse he _h t ev5+ ) ! ,rev4 ,mr4 ,bill+1 "o ( ! neighb\r+ ,m9i/]s1 conc]n+ ! great importance ( ! "w ( ! m9i/ry4 ,& aft]w>ds1 :5 x 0 v late 9 ! night1 he _h mu* disc\rse ) 8 bro!r ,john1 conc]n+ 8 congregation 9 ,new-,j]sey1 & ! int]e/ ( religion among ! ,indians4 ,9 ! latt] "p ( ! night1 8 bodily di/resses seem$ to rise to a great] height ?an ev]2 & he said to ^? !n ab\t him1 t 8x 0 ano!r ?+ to die ?an :at p imag9$20 expla9+ himself to mean1 t !y 7 n aw>e :at bodily pa9 & angui% is und]gone be=e dea?4 ,t[>ds day1 8 eyes fix$2 & he cont9u$ ly+ immoveable1 till ab\t six o'clock 9 ! morn+1 & !n expir$1 on ,friday1 ,octob] #i1 #agdg1 :5 8 s\l 0 receiv$ by 8 de> ,"l & ,ma/]1 z an em95tly fai?ful s]vant1 into a /ate ( p]fection ( hol9ess1 & fruition ( ,god1 :i* he _h s (t5 & s ard5tly long$ =4 ,mu* respect 0 %ewn to 8 memory at 8 fun]al2 :i* 0 on ! ,monday foll[+1 aft] a s]mon prea*$ ! same day1 on t solemn occasion4 ,8 fun]al 0 att5d$ by eight ( ! neighb\r+ m9i/]s1 sev5te5 o!r g5tlem5 ( lib]al education1 & a great conc\rse ( p4 ,! ,end ( ! ,twelf? ,volume4 ,,errata1 ,volume ,,xii4 ,page #ai1 l9e #b1 delete ( ,page #ai1 l9e #ag1 replace sicknesses ,page #bj1 l9e #ac1 replace glori\s ,page #be1 l9e #aj1 replace clos+ eyes ,page #ec1 l9e #ai1 replace tin ,page #ajf1 l9e #c1 replace conform$ ,page #aab1 l9e #ba1 replace x 0 n ,page #adb1 l9e #ai1 replace goodness ,page #add1 l9e #ac1 replace ,james iii4 c\ld n id5tify h[ to apply to text ,page #ahh1 l9e #ac1 replace keep awake ,page #aij1 l9e #ai1 replace ,i came to ! ,page #bjd1 l9e #ae1 replace 0 n ,page #bjd1 l9e ultima1 replace ( ?is ,page #bbf1 l9e ultima1 replace ye> pa/ ,page #bde1 l9e antep5ult1 replace 4 ,aft] ,page #bfd1 l9e #g1 replace affect$ ,page #bfi1 l9e #bj1 replace 99,?ursday ,page #bhd1 l9e #ah1 replace ev5+-s*ool ,page #bhf1 l9e #a1 replace well gr\nded ,page #bib1 l9e #ba1 replace cont9uance ,page #bii1 l9e #ba1 replace "o ( ,page #caa1 l9e #ab1 replace ,i 0 & delete 0 ,page #cdj1 l9e #aj1 replace possible ,page #ceb1 l9e #aj1 replace purul5t4