,,! ,,disciple ,,! ,,disciple ,,by ,,paul ,,b\rget ,,new ,,york ,,*>les ,,scribn]',s ,,sons #aija ,,copyright1 #aija1 ,,by ,,*>les ,,scribn]',s ,,sons ,norwood ,press3 ,b]wick ,smi?1 ,norwood1 ,mass41 ,u4,s4,a4 ,,cont5ts ,,page ,i4 ,a ,,mod]n ,,philosoph] #ac ,,ii4 ,,! ,,greslon ,,affair #dc ,,iii4 ,,simple ,,grief #fe ,,iv4 ,,confession ,,( ,a ,,"y ,,man ,,( ,,! ,,p]iod #ij ,i4 ,my ,h]$ities #id ,,ii4 ,! ,m$ium ,( ,ideas #abj ,,iii4 ,transplantation #add ,,iv4 ,! ,fir/ ,crisis #agi ,v4 ,! ,second ,crisis #bcj ,,vi4 ,! ,?ird ,crisis #bee ,,vii4 ,conclusion #bhi ,v4 ,,torm5t ,,( ,,ideas #bid ,,vi4 ,,c\nt ,,&r #cag ,,to ,a ,,"y ,,man ,i ,,d$icate ?is book to y1 my "y c\ntryman1 ) :om ,i am s well acqua9t$1 al?\gh ,i may n "k y\r place ( bir?1 y\r "n1 y\r p>5ts1 y\r =tune or y\r ambitions--no?+ b t y are ov] eighte5 & "u tw5ty-five ye>s ( age1 & t y w se>* 9 our books = ! answ]s to ! que/ions :i* are tr\bl+ y4 ,& ! answ]s :i* y w f9d dep5d a little ^u y\r moral life1 a little ^u y\r own s\l1 = y\r moral life is ! moral life ( ,france itself--y\r s\l is h] s\l4 ,9 tw5ty ye>s f n[ y & y\r bro!rs w hold 9 y\r h&s ! de/9y ( ?is anci5t c\ntry1 :i* is our common "m--y w be ! nation itself4 ,:at w y h le>n$ f our tea*+s8 ,no man ( lett]s1 h[ev] insignificant he may be1 b %\ld tremble at ! responsibility4 ,y w f9d 9 8,! ,disciple0 ! /udy ( "o ( ^! responsibilities4 ,may y f9d "h a pro( t ! fri5d :o writes ^! l9es has ! m]it1 if he possesses no o!r1 ( believ+ pr(\ndly 9 ! s]i\sness ( 8 art4 ,may y also f9d t he ?9ks ( y ) great conc]n4 ,yes1 he has ?\ght ( y ev] s9ce ! days :5 y 7 le>n+ to read1 :5 we :o are n[ approa*+ our =tie? ye> 7 scribbl+ our fir/ v]ses to ! noise ( ! cannon :i* ro>$ ov] ,p>is4 ,we1 9 our /udy *amb]s1 7 n gay at t p]iod4 ,! olde/ ( u _h j gone to ! w>1 & ^? ( u :o 7 oblig$ to rema9 at college already felt ! duty ( our c\ntry's rehabilitation press heavily ^u u4 ,we (t5 ?\ght ( y 9 t fatal ye>1 #ahga4 ,o6 "y ,fr5*m5 ( to-day--all ( u :o 7 int5d+ to devote ourselves to lit]ature1 my fri5ds & ,i1 repeat$ ! beautiful v]ses ( ,!odore de ,banville3 ,ye 9 :om ,i hail ! light4 ,all ye :o w love me1 ,o "y m5 ( ! com+ fight1 ,o holy battalions6 ,we wi%$ ?is dawn ( light to be z bright z ours _h be5 gloomy & mi/y ) a vapor ( blood4 ,we wi%$ to be wor?y ( y\r love1 9 leav+ to y t :i* we valu$ m ?an we valu$ ourselves4 ,we said t our "w 0 to make ( y & = y1 by our public & private acts1 by our words1 by our f]vor1 & by our example1 a new ,france1 a ,france r$eem$ f defeat1 a ,france recon/ruct$ 9 its ext]nal & 9 its int]nal life4 ,"y z we 7 !n we knew1 because we _h le>n$ x f our ma/]s1 & ?is 0 _! be/ tea*+--t triumphs & defeats f )\t int]pret$ ! qualities & insuffici5cies )92 we knew t ! resurrection ( ,g]many at ! beg9n+ ( ! c5tury _h be5 above all a "w ( s\l1 & we recogniz$ t ! s\l ( ,france _h be5 t]ribly hurt 9 #ahgj1 & t x mu/ be help$1 heal$ & cur$4 ,we 7 n ! only ones to compreh5d 9 ! g5]\s +5u\sness ( our y\? t ! moral crisis 0 !n z x always is1 ! great crisis ( ?is c\ntry2 = 9 #ahgc ! mo/ valiant ( our lead]s1 ,alex&re ,dumas1 said 9 ! preface to 8,la ,femme de ,claude10 address+ ! ,fr5*m5 ( 8 age z ,i am address+ y1 my y\ng] bro!r3 8,take c>e1 y are pass+ ?r\gh tr\bl\s times4 ,y h j paid dea? & are n ?r\gh pay+ = y\r e>li] faults4 ,x is no "t to be a wit1 a trifl]1 a lib]t9e1 a sc(f]1 a skeptic1 or a wanton2 we h _h en\gh ( ^! = a "t at lea/4 ,god1 nature1 "w1 m>riage1 love1 *ildr51 all ^! are s]i\s1 v s]i\s ?+s1 & rise up be=e y4 ,all ^! mu/ live or y w die04 ,i _c say ( ! g5]ation to :i* ,i belong1 & :i* k9dl$ ! noble hope ( recon/ruct+ ,france1 t x has succe$$1 or t x has ev5 be5 suffici5tly devot$ to its "w4 ,b ,i d "k t x has labor$1 & labor$ h>d4 ,we h plodd$ away )\t mu* me?od1 alas6 b ) a cont9u\s application :i* t\*es me :5 ,i ?9k h[ little ! m5 9 p[] h done = u1 h[ mu* we h be5 left to our own res\rces1 ( ! indiff]5ce felt t[>d u by ^? :o direct$ affairs1 & :o nev] once ?\ght to enc\rage1 support or direct u4 ,ah6 ! brave middle class1 ! solid & valiant b\rgeoisie :i* ,france /ill possesses6 ,:at labori\s (fic]s1 :at skillful & t5aci\s diplomatic ag5ts1 :at excell5t pr(essors1 :at hone/ artisans has ?is b\rgeoisie furni%$ = ! pa/ tw5ty ye>s6 ,i sometimes he>3 8,:at vitality !re is 9 ?is c\ntry6 ,x has surviv$ :]e ano!r w\ld h p]i%$40 ,yes1 x lives because ?is "y b\rgeoisie has made e sacrifice 9 ord] to s]ve ! c\ntry4 ,x has se5 ! ma/]s ( a day proscribe its mo/ *]i%$ beliefs 9 ! "n ( lib]ty1 *ance politicians play univ]sal suffrage z an in/rum5t by :i* to rule & in/all _! ly+ m$iocrity 9 ! highe/ places4 ,?is univ]sal suffrage has und]gone ! mo/ mon/r\s & ! mo/ iniquit\s ( tyrannies2 = ! =ce ( numb]s is ! mo/ brutal ( =ces1 possess+ nei!r tal5t nor audacity4 ,! "y b\rgeoisie has resign$ itself to ev]y?+1 has accept$ ev]y?+ 9 ord] to h ! "r to d ! necess>y "w4 ,if our soldi]s come & g1 if =eign p[]s hold u 9 respect1 if our high] education is be+ develop$1 if our arts & our lit]ature cont9ue to ass]t ! national g5ius1 we owe x to ! b\rgeoisie4 ,x is true t ?is g5]ation ( "y m5 ( ! w> has no victory = its activity4 ,x c\ld n e/abli% a def9ite =m ( gov]nm5t1 or solve ! =midable problems ( =eign politics & ( socialism4 ,h[ev]1 "y man ( to-day1 d n despise x4 ,le>n to r5d] ju/ice to y\r eld]s4 ,x is ?r\gh !m t ,france has liv$6 ,h[ w %e live ?r\gh y is ! "q :i* at ! pres5t "t tr\bles all ^? :o h reta9$ _! fai? 9 ! re/oration ( ,france4 ,y h n to see ! ,prussian cavalry gallop+ victori\sly among ! popl>s ( y\r native l& to su/a9 y4 ,& ( ! horrible civil w>1 y h only ! picturesque ru9s ( ! ,c\r des ,comptes1 or ! trees putt+ =? luxuriant vegetation among ! scor*$ /ones :i* l5d poetic attraction to ! old palaces4 ,we h nev] be5 able to conclude t ! peace ( '#ga has settl$ ev]y?+ = all "t4 ,h[ ,i %\ld l to "k if y ?9k z we d6 ,h[ ,i %\ld l to be sure t y are n ready to r5\nce ! secret dream1 ! consolatory hope :i* ea* "o ( u _h1 ev5 ( ^? ( u :o nev] spoke ( x6 ,b ,i am sure t y feel sad :5ev] y pass ! ,arc de ,triomphe :]e o!rs h pass$1 ev5 on ^? beautiful summ] ev5+s 9 company ) ! "o y love4 ,y w\ld leave h] *e]fully to-morr[ to g to ! front if x %\ld be necess>y1 ,i am sure ( x4 ,b x is n en\gh to "k h[ to die4 ,h y resolv$ to "k h[ to live8 ,:5 y look at ?is ,arc de ,triomphe & recall ! epo* ( ! ,gr&e ,arme1 d y regret t y did n feel ! h]oic brea? ( ! conscripts ( t "t8 ,:5 y recall #ahcj1 & ! glori\s /ruggles ( ,romanticism1 d y exp]i5ce no/algia at n hav+1 l ^? ( ,h]nani1 a great lit]>y /&>d to def5d8 ,d y feel1 :5 y meet "o ( ! ma/]s ( to-day--a ,dumas1 a ,ta9e1 a ,leconte de ,lisle--t y are 9 ! pres5ce ( "o ( ! deposit>ies ( ! g5ius ( y\r race8 ,:5 y read su* books z mu/ be writt5 :5 x is necess>y to depict ! crim9al passions & _! m>tyrdom1 d y wi% to love m wisely ?an ! au?ors ( ^! books h lov$8 ,h y1 my bro!r1 m ( ! ,ideal ?an we h--h y m fai? ?an we h--m hope ?an we8 ,if y h1 give me y\r h& & let me ?ank y4 ,b suppose y h n8 ,!re are two types ( "y m5 t ,i see be=e me1 & be=e y also1 l two =ms ( temptation1 equally =midable & fatal4 ,"o is cynical & usually jovial4 ,he is ab\t tw5ty ye>s ( age1 he appraises life at a disc\nt1 & 8 religion consi/s 9 enjoy+ himself--:i* may be translat$ by success4 ,let him be occupi$ ) politics or bus9ess1 ) lit]ature or art1 engag$ 9 sport or 9 indu/ry1 let him be (fic]1 diplomat or advocate--8 only ,god is himself2 he is 8 only pr9ciple1 8 only object4 ,he has borr[$ f ! natural philosophy ( ! times ! great law ( vital concurr5ce1 & he applies x to ! advancem5t ( 8 =tune ) an ardor ( positivism :i* makes him a civiliz$ b>b>ian2 ! mo/ dang]\s k9d4 ,alphonse ,daudet1 :o und]/&s s well h[ to describe him1 has *ri/5$ him ! 8/ruggle-=-lif]40 ,he respects no?+ b success1 & 9 success no?+ b money4 ,he is conv9c$ :5 he reads ?is--= he reads :at ,i write z he reads ev]y?+ else1 if only to be 9 ! curr5t--t ,i am laugh+ at ! public 9 trac+ ?is portrait1 b t ,i myself am l him4 ,= he is s pr(\ndly nihili/ic 9 8 mann] t ! ,ideal appe>s to him l a com$y1 = example1 :5 he judges x prop] to lie to ! p to secure _! votes4 ,is n ?is "y man a mon/]8 ,= "o is a mon/] :o is only tw5ty-five ye>s old & has = a s\l a calculat+ ma*9e 9 ! s]vice ( a ma*9e ( pleasure4 ,i fe> him less1 h[ev]1 on y\r acc\nt ?an ,i d ! o!r "o :o possesses all ! ari/ocracies ( n]ves & m9d1 & :o is an intellectual & ref9$ epicurean z ! =m] is a brutal & sci5tific "o4 ,h[ dreadful to enc\nt] ?is da9ty nihili/1 & yet h[ he ab\nds6 ,at tw5ty-five he has run ! gamut ( all ideas4 ,8 critical m9d1 precoci\sly awake1 has compreh5d$ ! f9al results ( ! mo/ subtle philosophies ( ! age4 ,d n speak to him ( impiety or ( mat]ialism4 ,he kn[s t ! ^w 8matt]0 has no precise mean+1 & beside he is too intellig5t n to admit t all religions h be5 legitimate 9 _! "t4 ,only1 he has nev] believ$1 & he nev] w believe 9 !m1 any m ?an he w ev] believe 9 any?+ :atev]1 except 9 ! amus+ play ( 8 m9d :i* he has trans=m$ into a tool ( elegant p]v]sity4 ,! good & ! bad1 beauty & de=mity1 vices & virtues are to him simply objects ( curiosity4 ,! human s\l s f> z he is conc]n$ is a skillful piece ( me*anism 9 ! dissection ( :i* he is int]e/$ z a matt] ( exp]i5ce4 ,to him no?+ is true1 no?+ is false1 no?+ is moral1 no?+ is immoral4 ,he is a subtle & ref9$ egoti/ ^: :ole ambition1 z t rem>kable analy/1 ,maurice ,b>rs1 has said 9 8 beautiful romance ( 8,l',homme ,libre0--t *ef-d'uvre ( irony :i* lacks only conclusion--consi/s 89 ador+ himself10 & to acquire new s5sations4 ,! religi\s life ( humanity is to him only a pretext = ^! s5sations1 z are also ! intellectual & ! s5tim5tal life4 ,8 corruption is o!rwise z pr(\nd z t ( ! voluptu\s b>b>ian2 x is diff]5tly complicat$1 & ! f9e "n ( dilettantism ) :i* he adorns x1 conceals its cold f]ocity1 its frightful b>r5ness4 ,ah6 we "k ?is "y man too well2 we h all wi%$ to be 9 8 place1 = we h be5 s *>m$ by ! p>adoxes ( too eloqu5t tea*]s2 we all h be5 l him at "s "t4 ,& s ,i h writt5 ?is book to %[ y1 :o are n yet l him1 y *ild ( tw5ty ye>s1 ^: s\l is 9 process ( =mation1 :at villa9y ?is egoism may conceal4 ,be nei!r ( ^! "y m51 my "y fri5d6 ,be nei!r ! brutal positivi/ :o abuses ! _w ( s5se1 nor ! disda9ful & precoci\s sophi/ :o abuses ! _w ( ?\ght & feel+4 ,let nei!r ! pride ( life nor t ( intellect make ( y a cynic & a juggl] ( ideas6 ,9 su* times ( tr\bl$ consci5ce & conflict+ doctr9es cl+ z y w\ld to a safe support to ,*ri/'s words3 8,! tree is kn[n by its fruit40 ,!re is "o reality :i* y _c d\bt1 = y possess x1 y feel x1 y see x e mom5t1 x is y\r own s\l4 ,among ! ?\ghts :i* assail y1 are ^? :i* r5d] y\r s\l less capable ( lov+1 less capable ( desire4 ,be sure t ^! ideas are false to a degree1 h[ev] subtle !y seem1 adorn$ z !y are ) ! f9e/ names & su/a9$ by ! magic ( ! mo/ spl5did tal5ts4 ,exalt & cultivate ^! two great virtues1 ^! two en]gies1 )\t :i* only blight & f9al agony ensue--,love & ,w4 ,! s9c]e & mode/ ,sci5ce ( to-day recognizes t ! realm ( ! ,unkn[able ext5ds beyond ! limit ( its analysis4 ,! v5]able ,littr1 :o 0 a sa9t1 has magnific5tly spok5 ( ?is ocean ( my/]y :i* beats aga9/ our %ore1 :i* we see /ret*+ be=e u1 & = :i* we h nei!r b>k nor sail4 ,h ! c\rage to respond to ^? :o w tell y t beyond ?is ocean is empt9ess1 an abyss ( d>kness & dea?2 8,y d n "k t40 ,& s9ce y "k1 s9ce y feel t !re is a s\l )9 y1 labor to keep x alive le/ x die be=e y4 ,i assure y1 my boy1 ,france has ne$ t y %\ld ?9k ?us1 & may ?is book help y s to ?9k4 ,d n look "h = allusions to rec5t ev5ts1 = y w n f9d !m4 ,! plan 0 m>k$ out & a "p ( ! book writt5 be=e two trag$ies1 ! "o ,fr5*1 ! o!r ,european1 occurr$1 to atte/ t ! same tr\ble ( ideas & ( s5tim5ts agitates bo? high & humble de/9ies at ! pres5t "t4 ,d me ! honor to believe t ,i h n speculat$ on ! dramas 9 :i* too _m p]sons h suff]$1 & /ill suff]4 ,! morali/1 ^: bus9ess x is to seek = causes1 sometimes enc\nt]s analogies ( situation :i* atte/ t !y h se5 correctly4 ,!y w\ld r h be5 deceiv$4 ,i1 myself1 = example1 w\ld wi% t !re nev] _h be5 9 real life a p]son l ! un=tunate ,disciple :o gives "n to ?is romance6 ,b if !re _h n be51 if none exi/$1 ,i %\ld n h said :at ,i am go+ to say to y1 my "y c\ntryman1 y to :om ,i wi% to be a b5efactor1 y by :om ,i s e>ne/ly wi% to be lov$--& to be wor?y ( y\r love4 ,,paul ,,b\rget4 ,p>is1 ,june #e1 #ahhi4 ,,! ,,disciple ,i4 ,a ,,mod]n ,,philosoph]4 ,,!re is a /ory t has nev] be5 d5i$ to ! effect t ! b\rgeois ( ! city ( ,knigsb]g suppos$ t "s prodigi\s ev5t 0 di/urb+ ! civiliz$ _w simply because ! philosoph] ,emanuel ,kant *ang$ ! direction ( 8 daily walk4 ,! celebrat$ au?or ( ! 8,critique ( ,pure ,reason0 _h t day le>n$ ( ! break+ out ( ! ,fr5* ,revolution4 ,al?\gh ,p>is1 may n be v favorable to su* nave wond]s1 a numb] ( ! inhabitants ( ! ,rue ,guy de la ,brosse exp]i5c$ an a/oni%m5t almo/ z great "o aft]noon 9 ,janu>y1 #ahhg1 :5 !y saw g out1 t[>d "o o'clock1 a philosoph]1 :o if less illu/ri\s ?an ! v5]able ,kant1 0 z regul> & z peculi> 9 8 habits1 n to m5tion t he 0 ev5 m de/ructive 9 8 analysis4 ,x 0 ,m4 ,adri5 ,sixte1 :om ! ,engli% call ! ,fr5* ,sp5c]4 ,?is ,rue ,guy de la ,brosse1 :i* leads f ! ,rue de ,jussieu to ! ,rue ,l9n1 =ms "p ( a v]itable little prov9ce b\nd$ by ! ,j>d9 des ,plantes1 ! ,hopital de la ,piti1 ! w9e w>eh\se & ! fir/ rise ( ,sa9te-,g5evive4 ,t is to say1 t x p]mits ^? famili> inquisitions ( glance impossible 9 ! l>g] di/ricts :]e ! come-&-g ( exi/5ce ceaselessly r5ews ! tide ( c>riages & ( p4 ,only p]sons ( small incomes live "h1 mode/ pr(essors1 employees ( ! museum1 /ud5ts :o wi% to /udy1 all "y lit]>y p :o dread ! temptations ( ! ,lat9 ,qu>t]4 ,! %ops are patroniz$ by ?is cli5tele1 :i* is z regul> z t ( a suburb4 ,! but*]1 ! bak]1 ! groc]1 ! wa%]woman1 ! apo!c>y1 are all spok5 ( 9 ! s+ul> by ! dome/ics :o make ! pur*ases4 ,!re is little room = competition 9 ?is squ>e1 :i* is ornam5t$ by a f\nta9 caprici\sly encumb]$ ) figures ( animals 9 honor ( ! ,j>d9 des ,plantes4 ,visitors to ! g>d5 seldom ent] by ! gate1 :i* is opposite ! hospital2 s t ev5 on f9e spr+ days :5 cr[ds ( p ga!r "u ! trees ( ! p>k1 :i* is a favorite resort ( ! milit>y & ( nursemaids1 ! ,rue ,l9n is z quiet z usual1 & s also are ! adjac5t /reets4 ,if occasionally !re is an unusual fl[ ( p into ?is corn] ( ,p>is1 x is :5 ! doors ( ! hospital are op5$ to visitors1 & !n a l9e ( sad & humble figures /ret*es along ! sidewalks4 ,^! pilgrims ( pov]ty come furni%$ ) da9ties = _! fri5ds :o are suff]+ beh9d ! gray old walls ( ! hospital1 & ! inhabitants ( gr\nd-floors1 lodges1 & %ops are n int]e/$ 9 !m4 ,!y h>dly notice ^! sporadic prom5ad]s1 & _! entire att5tion is res]v$ = ! p]sons :o g by e day at ! same h\r4 ,!re are = %opkeep]s & conci]ges1 z = sportsm5 9 ! c\ntry1 unfail+ indications ( ! "t & ( ! wea!r1 t !re w be 9 ?is qu>t]1 :]e res\nd ! savage calls ( "s bea/ 9 ! neighbor+ m5ag]ie2 ( an ara t cries1 & elephant t trumpets1 an eagle t screams1 or a tig] t mews4 ,:5 !y see ! free pr(essor jogg+ along ) 8 old gre5 lea!r case "u 8 arm1 nibbl+ at a p5ny bun :i* he has b\ght on 8 way1 ^! spies "k t x is ab\t to /rike eight4 ,:5 ! re/aurant boy passes ) 8 cov]$ di%es !y "k t x is elev5 o'clock1 t ! retir$ capta9 ( battalion is soon to h 8 breakfa/1 & ?us 9 succession = e h\r ( ! day4 ,a *ange 9 ! toilette ( ! wom5 :o "h display _! f9]y1 is not$ & critically int]pret$ by tw5ty babbl+ & n ov]9dulg5t tongues4 ,9 f9e1 to use a v picturesque expression common 9 c5tral ,france1 ! mo/ trifl+ movem5ts ( ! frequ5t]s ( ^! f\r or five /reets are at ! end ( ! tongues1 & ^? ( ,m4 ,adri5 ,sixte ev5 m ?an ^? ( _m o!rs4 ,?is w be readily und]/ood by a simple sket* ( ! p]son4 ,& beside1 ! details ( ! life l$ by ?is man w furni% to /ud5ts ( human nature an au!ntic docum5t ^u a r>e species--t ( philosoph] by pr(ession4 ,"s examples h be5 giv5 to u by ! anci5ts1 & m rec5tly by ,col]us1 9 ref]5ce to ,sp9oza1 & by ,d>w9 & ,john ,/u>t ,mill 9 ref]5ce to !mselves4 ,b ,sp9oza 0 a ,holl&] ( ! eighte5? c5tury1 ,d>w9 & ,mill grew up among ! weal?y & active ,engli% middle class1 :]eas ,m4 ,sixte liv$ 9 ! he>t ( ,p>is at ! end ( ! n9ete5? c5tury4 ,9 my y\?1 :5 /udies ( ?is k9d int]e/$ me1 ,i knew sev]al individuals j z entirely giv5 up to ab/ract speculations4 ,i h1 h[ev]1 nev] met "o :o has made me compreh5d s well ! exi/5ce ( a ,desc>tes--9 8 little room 9 ! dep? ( ! ,ne!rl&s1 or t ( ! ?9k] ( ! ,e?ics1 :o1 z we "k1 _h no o!r di/raction f 8 rev]ies ?an smok+ a pipe & fight+ spid]s4 ,x 0 f\rte5 ye>s aft] ! w> :5 ,m4 ,sixte came to live 9 ! ,rue ,guy de la ,brosse1 :]e e d5iz5 kn[s him to-day4 ,he 0 at t "t a man ?irty-f\r ye>s ( age1 9 :om all physiognomy ( y\? _h be5 de/roy$ by ! absorption ( 8 m9d 9 ideas1 s t 8 smoo?ly-%av5 face indicat$ nei!r age nor pr(ession4 ,"s physicians1 "s prie/s1 & "s actors (f] to our reg>d1 = diff]5t reasons1 faces at once cold1 smoo?1 int5t & inexpressive4 ,a =ehead high & tap]+1 a m\? prom95t & ob/9ate1 ) ?9 lips1 a bili\s complexion1 eyes affect$ by too mu* read+ & hidd5 beh9d d>k spectacles1 a slim1 big bon$ body1 always clo!d 9 a %aggy clo? ov]coat 9 w9t]1 & 9 "s ?9 mat]ial 9 summ]4 ,8 %oes ti$ ) /r+s1 8 hair long & prematurely gray & v f9e1 "u "o ( ^? hats call$ gibus1 :i* fold up me*anically--su* 0 ! appe>ance pres5t$ by ?is savant1 ^: e action 0 z scrupul\sly regulat$ z ^? ( an ecclesia/ic4 ,he occupi$ an ap>tm5t at a r5t ( sev5 hundr$ francs on ! f\r? floor1 :i* consi/$ ( a b$room1 a /udy1 a d9+-room ab\t z l>ge z ! cab9 ( a :]ry1 a kit*5 & a s]vant's room1 ! :ole comm&+ a v ext5sive view4 ,! philosoph] c\ld see f 8 w9d[s ! ,j>d9 des ,plantes ) ! hills ( ,pre-la-,*aise 9 ! di/ance2 beyond1 to ! left1 a k9d ( holl[ :i* m>k$ ! c\rse ( ! ,se9e4 ,! ,orlans /ation & ! dome ( ,la ,salptrire rose directly 9 front2 &1 to ! "r1 ! mass ( c$>s look$ black aga9/ ! gre5 or b>e trees ( ! labyr9?4 ,! smoke ( factories wrea!d upw>d on a cle> or gray sky f e corn] ( ! wide l&scape1 f :i* arose a s\nd l ! ro> ( a di/ant ocean1 brok5 by ! :i/l+s ( /eam eng9es4 ,9 *oos+ ?is ,!bais1 ,m4 ,sixte _h no d\bt yield$ to a g5]al ?\gh inexplicable law ( m$itative nature4 ,are n ne>ly all cloi/]s built 9 places :i* p]mit an ext5d$ view8 ,p]haps ^! unlimit$ & confus$ prospects favor conc5tration ( ! m9d1 :i* might o!rwise be di/ract$ by details too ne> & circum/antial8 ,p]haps recluses f9d ! pleasure ( contra/ betwe5 _! dreamy inaction & ! bread? ( ! field 9 :i* ! activity ( o!r m5 is develop$8 ,:atev] may be ! solution ( ?is little problem s closely relat$ to ano!r :i* is too little /udi$1 namely1 ! animal s5sibility ( intellectual m5--x is c]ta9 t ! melan*oly l&scape _h1 = fifte5 ye>s1 be5 ! companion ) :om ! quiet work] _h mo/ frequ5tly conv]s$4 ,8 h\se 0 kept by "o ( ^? s]vants :o are ! ideals ( all old ba*elors1 :o nev] suspect t ! p]fection ( c]ta9 s]vices implies a correspond+ regul>ity ( exi/5ce on ! "p ( ! ma/]4 ,on 8 arrival1 ! philosoph] _h simply ask$ ! conci]ge to f9d "s "o to keep 8 rooms 9 ord]1 & to recomm5d a re/aurant f :i* he c\ld ord] 8 meals4 ,by ?is reque/ he risk$ obta9+ a s]vice decid$ly bad & a v unc]ta9 sort ( n\ri%m5t4 ,x result$1 h[ev]1 9 unexpect$ly introduc+ into ! home ( ,adri5 ,sixte precisely ! p]son :o realiz$ 8 mo/ *im]ical wi%es1 if an extractor ( qu9tess5ces1 z ,rabelais calls ?is sort ( dream]1 /ill pres]ves ! leisure to =m wi%es4 ,?is conci]ge--accord+ to ! use & cu/om ( all su* function>ies 9 small ap>tm5t h\ses--increas$ ! rev5ue ( 8 lodg+s by work+ at a trade4 ,he 0 a %oemak]1 89 new & old10 z a plac>d read :i* 0 pa/$ on a w9d[ t[>d ! /reet4 ,among 8 cu/om]s1 old man ,c>bonnet--?is 0 8 "n--c\nt$ a prie/ :o liv$ 9 ! ,rue ,cuvi]4 ,?is ag$ prie/ _h a s]vant1 ,mlle4 ,m>iette ,trap5>d1 a woman ne>ly =ty ye>s old1 :o _h be5 accu/om$ = "s ye>s to rule 9 h] ma/]'s h\se :ile /ill rema9+ a true peasant woman1 ) no ambition to play ! lady1 fai?ful 9 h] "w1 b unwill+ to ent] at any price a h\se :]e %e w\ld be subject to fem99e au?ority4 ,! old prie/ di$ q sudd5ly ! week prec$+ ! in/allation ( ! philosoph] 9 ! ,rue ,guy de la ,brosse4 ,old ,c>bonnet1 9 ^: regi/] ! newcom] _h simply sign$ himself r5ti]1 _h no tr\ble 9 recogniz+ ! class to :i* ?is ,m4 ,sixte belong$1 fir/ f ! numb] ( books :i* compos$ 8 libr>y1 & also ?r\gh ! acc\nt ( a s]vant belong+ to a pr(essor ( ! ,college ( ,france1 :o liv$ on ! fir/ floor4 ,9 ^! phalan/]ies ( ! ,p>isian b\rgeois ev]y?+ becomes an ev5t4 ,! maid told h] mi/ress ! "n ( h] future neighbor2 ! mi/ress told h] husb&2 %e spoke ( ,m4 ,sixte at table 9 su* a way t ! maid compreh5d$ en\gh to surmise t ! new lodg] 0 89 books l monsieur40 ,c>bonnet w\ld n h be5 wor?y ( draw+ ! cord 9 a ,p>isian lodg+-h\se1 if 8 wife & he _h n imm$iately felt ! necessity ( br++ ,m4 ,adri5 ,sixte & ,mlle4 ,trap5>d toge!r4 ,!y felt ?is ! m because ,mme4 ,c>bonnet1 :o 0 old & almo/ disabl$1 _h already too mu* to d to take c>e ( ?ree h\seholds1 to und]take ?is "o4 ,! ta/e = intrigue :i* fl\ri%es 9 lodg+-h\ses l fu*sias1 g]aniums1 & basils induc$ ?is c\ple to assure ! savant t ! cook+ at ! eat+-h\ses 0 wret*$1 t !re 0 n a s+le h\sekeep] :om !y c\ld recomm5d 9 ! :ole neighborhood1 & t ! s]vant ( ! late ,m4 l',abb ,vayssi] 0 a 8pe>l0 ( discretion1 ord]1 economy1 & cul9>y skill4 ,f9ally1 ! philosoph] cons5t$ to see ?is model h\sekeep]4 ,! visible hone/y ( ! woman pleas$ him & also ! reflection t ?is arrangem5t w\ld simplify 8 exi/5ce1 by reliev+ him f ! odi\s task ( giv+ a c]ta9 numb] ( positive ord]s4 ,mlle4 ,trap5>d ent]$ ! s]vice ( ?is ma/] = fifty francs a mon?1 :i* 0 soon increas$ to sixty4 ,! savant gave h] fifty francs 9 ,new-,ye> gifts beside4 ,he nev] exam9$ 8 acc\nts1 b settl$ !m e ,sunday morn+ )\t "q4 ,x 0 ,mlle4 ,trap5>d :o did ! bus9ess ) all ! tradesm5 )\t any int]f]5ce on ! "p ( ,m4 ,sixte4 ,9 a ^w %e reign$ absolute mi/ress1 a situation1 z may be imag9$1 :i* excit$ ! univ]sal envy ( ! little _w incessantly go+ up & d[n ! common /aircase s zeal\sly scrubb$ e ,monday4 8,i say1 ,mam'zelle ,m>iette1 y h drawn ! lucky numb]10 said ,c>bonnet z ! h\sekeep] /opp$ a m9ute to *at ) h] b5efactor1 :o 0 n[ mu* old]4 ,he wore spectacles on 8 squ>e nose1 & x 0 ) "s difficulty t he adju/$ ! bl[s ( 8 hamm] to ! heads ( ! nails :i* he drove into ! boot-heels closely press$ betwe5 8 legs4 ,= "s ye>s he _h tak5 c>e ( a cock nam$ ,f]d9&--:y1 no "o knew4 ,?is creature w&]$ ab\t among ! bits ( lea!r1 excit+ ! admiration ( all visitors by 8 eag]ness to peck at ! buttons ( ! boots4 ,9 8 mom5ts ( fright ?is pet cock w\ld take refuge ) 8 ma/]1 plunge "o ( 8 feet into ! pocket ( ! cobbl]'s ve/ & hide 8 head "u ! arm ( ! old conci]ge3 8,come1 ,f]d9&1 say good-day to ,mam'zelle ,m>iette10 resum$ ,c>bonnet4 ,& ! cock g5tly peck$ ! woman's h&1 :ile 8 ma/] cont9u$3 8,i always say1 #8,nev] despair at "o bad ye>1 two good ones are b\nd to come imm$iately aft]4'0 8,!re we agree10 respond$ ,m>iette1 8= monsieur is a good man1 ?\gh z to religion he is a regul> pagan2 he has n be5 to mass ^! fifte5 ye>s40 8,!re are pl5ty :o d g10 repli$ ,c>bonnet1 8:o are sad dogs1 & lead any?+ b a quiet life betwe5 f\r & midnight--)\t y\r kn[+ any?+ ab\t x40 ,?is fragm5t ( conv]sation p]haps %[s ! type ( op9ion :i* ,m>iette held 9 reg>d to h] ma/]2 b ?is op9ion w\ld be un9telligible if we did n recall "h ! works ( ! philosoph]1 & ! tr5d ( 8 ?\ght4 ,born 9 #ahci at ,nancy1 :]e 8 fa!r kept a little wat*mak]'s %op1 & rem>kable = ! precocity ( 8 intellect1 ,adri5 ,sixte left among 8 comrades ! remembrance ( a *ild ?9 & taciturn1 end[$ ) a /r5g? ( moral resi/ance :i* always disc\rag$ famili>ity4 ,at fir/ he 0 v brilliant 9 8 /udies1 !n m$iocre1 until 9 ! class 9 philosophy :i* !n bore ! "n ( ,logic1 he di/+ui%$ himself by 8 exceptional aptitude4 ,8 pr(essor1 /ruck by 8 metaphysical tal5t1 wi%$ him to prep>e = ! normal s*ool exam9ation4 ,adri5 refus$ & decl>$ beside to 8 fa!r t1 tak+ "o trade ) ano!r1 he pref]r$ manual labor4 8,i w be a wat*mak] l y10 0 8 sole answ] to ! objurgations ( 8 fa!r1 :o1 l ! innum]able artisans1 or ,fr5* m]*ants ^: *ildr5 att5d college1 *]i%$ ! dream t 8 son might be a civil (fic]4 ,m4 & ,mme4 ,sixte c\ld n reproa* ?is son1 :o did n smoke1 nev] w5t to ! caf1 0 nev] se5 ) a girl1 9 f9e1 :o 0 _! pride1 & to ^: wi%es !y resign$ !mselves ) a brok5 he>t4 ,!y r5\nc$ a c>e] = him1 b !y w\ld n cons5t to putt+ him to an appr5tice%ip1 h5ce1 ! "y man liv$ at home ) no o!r occupation ?an to /udy z suit$ 8 fancy4 ,he employ$ t5 ye>s 9 p]fect+ himself 9 ! /udy ( ,engli% & ,g]man philosophy1 9 ! natural sci5ces & especially 9 ! physiology ( ! bra9 & 9 ! ma!matical sci5ces2 f9ally1 he gave himself1 z "o ( ! great ?9k]s ( our epo* has said ( himself1 t 8viol5t inflammation ( ! bra910 t k9d ( apoplexy ( positive k :i* 0 ! process ( education ( ,c>lyle & ( ,mill1 ( ,ta9e & ,r5an1 & ( ne>ly all ! ma/]s ( mod]n philosophy4 ,9 #ahfh1 ! son ( ! wat*mak] ( ,nancy1 !n tw5ty-five ye>s ( age1 publi%$ a l>ge volume ( five hundr$ pages entitl$3 8,psy*ology ( ,god10 :i* he did n s5d to m ?an fifte5 p]sons1 b :i* _h ! unexpect$ =tune ( caus+ a sc&al\s e*o4 ,?is book1 writt5 9 ! solitude ( ! mo/ hone/ ?\ght1 pres5t$ ! d\ble "* ( a critical analysis1 ke5 to sev]ity1 & an ardor 9 negation exalt$ to fanaticism4 ,less poetic ?an ,m4 ,ta9e1 incapable ( writ+ ! magnific5t preface to ! 8,intellig5ce10 & ! essay ^u univ]sal ph5om5a2 less dry ?an ,m4 ,ribot1 :o already prelud$ by 8 8,engli% ,psy*ologi/s0 ! beautiful s]ies ( 8 /udies1 ! 8,psy*ology ( ,god10 comb9$ ! eloqu5ce ( "o ) ! p5etration ( ! o!r1 & x _h ! *ance1 uns\ght1 ( directly attack+ ! mo/ excit+ problem ( metaphysics4 ,a pamphlet by a well-kn[n bi%op1 an unwor?y allusion ( a c>d9al 9 a disc\rse to ! s5ate1 a cru%+ article by ! mo/ brilliant critical spirituali/ 9 a celebrat$ review1 suffic$ to po9t out ! "w to ! curiosity ( ! y\? ov] :om pass$ a revolution>y w9d1 ! h]ald ( future ov]?r[4 ,! !sis ( ! au?or consi/$ 9 demon/rat+ ! necess>y production ( 8! hypo!sis--,god10 by ! action ( "s psy*ologic laws1 :i* are !mselves connect$ ) "s c]ebral modifications ( an entirely physical ord]1 & ?is !sis 0 e/abli%$1 support$1 & develop$ ) an acrimony ( a!ism :i* recall$ ! fury ( ,lucretius aga9/ ! beliefs ( 8 "t4 ,x happ5$ !n to ! h]mit ( ,nancy1 t 8 "w1 :i* 0 conceiv$ & writt5 z if 9 ! solitude ( a cell1 0 at once 9 ! mid/ ( ! noise ( ! battle ( contemporane\s ideas4 ,= ye>s !re _h n be5 se5 su* p[] ( g5]al ideas w$d$ to su* amplitude ( erudition1 nor s ri* an abundance ( po9ts ( view unit$ to s audaci\s a nihilism4 ,b :ile ! "n ( ! au?or 0 becom+ celebrat$ 9 ,p>is1 8 p>5ts 7 b[$ to ! e>? by 8 success4 ,"s articles 9 ! ,ca?olic j\rnals fill$ ,mme4 ,sixte ) despair4 ,! old wat*mak] trembl$ le/ he %\ld lose 8 cu/om]s among ! ari/ocracy ( ,nancy4 ,all ! mis]ies ( ! prov9ce cru%$ ! philosoph]1 :o 0 ab\t to leave 8 home1 :5 ! ,g]man invasion & ! fe>ful national %ipwreck turn$ ! att5tion ( 8 c\ntrym5 away f him4 ,8 p>5ts di$ 9 ! spr+ ( #ahga4 ,9 ! summ] ( ! same ye>1 he lo/ an aunt1 & s 9 ! autumn ( #ahgb hav+ settl$ 8 affairs1 he came to e/abli% himself 9 ,p>is4 ,8 res\rces1 ?anks to ! inh]itance ( 8 p>5ts & ( 8 aunt1 consi/$ 9 eight ?\s& francs income inve/$ 9 a life-int]e/4 ,he _h resolv$ nev] to m>ry1 nev] to g into society1 nev] to be ambiti\s ( honor1 ( place nor ( reputation4 ,! :ole =mula ( 8 life 0 conta9$ 9 ! words3 ,to ?9k6 ,9 ord] to bett] def9e ?is man ( a quality s r>e t ?is sket* aft] nature w risk appe>+ untru?ful to ! read] :o is unfamili> ) ! biographies ( ! great manipulators ( ideas1 x is necess>y to give a rapid glance at "s ( ! days ( ?is p[]ful ?9k]4 ,summ] & w9t]1 ,m4 ,sixte sat d[n to 8 "w at six o'clock 9 ! morn+1 refre%$ by a s+le cup ( black c(fee4 ,at t5 o'clock he took 8 breakfa/1 a summ>y op]ation :i* p]mitt$ him to be at ! gate ( ! ,j>d9 des ,plantes at half-pa/ t54 ,he walk$ 9 ! g>d5 until noon1 sometimes ext5d+ 8 /roll t[>d ! quays & by ! way ( ,notre ,dame4 ,"o ( 8 favorite pleasures consi/$ 9 long sances 9 front ( ! cages ( ! monkeys & ! lodges ( ! elephants4 ,! *ildr5 & s]vants :o saw him laugh1 long & sil5tly1 at ! f]ocities & cynicisms ( ! baboons & oui/itis1 nev] suspect$ ! misan?ropic ?\ghts :i* ?is spectacle br\ght to ! m9d ( ! savant :o comp>$ 9 himself ! human to ! simian com$y1 z he comp>$ our habitual folly ) ! wisdom ( ! noble animal t1 be=e u1 0 k+ ( ! e>?4 ,t[>d noon ,m4 ,sixte return$ to 8 home & work$ aga9 until f\r o'clock4 ,f f\r to six he receiv$ ?ree times a week1 visitors :o 7 ne>ly always /ud5ts1 ma/]s occupi$ ) ! same /udies z himself1 or =eign]s attract$ by a reputation :i* to-day is ,european4 ,?ree o!r days he w5t out to make "s indisp5sable visits4 ,at six o'clock he d9$ & !n w5t out aga91 ?is "t go+ ! l5g? ( ! clos$ g>d5 to ! ,orlans /ation4 ,at eight o'clock he return$1 regulat$ 8 correspond5ce or read4 ,at t5 o'clock ! lights 7 ext+ui%$ 9 8 h\se4 ,?is mona/ic exi/5ce _h its weekly re/ on ,monday1 ! philosoph] hav+ obs]v$ t ,sunday empti$ an ob/ruct+ tide ( pleasure seek]s into ! c\ntry4 ,on ^! days1 he w5t out v e>ly 9 ! morn+1 bo>d$ a suburban tra91 & did n return until ev5+4 ,n once 9 fifte5 ye>s _h he dep>t$ f ?is absolute regul>ity4 ,n once _h he accept$ an invitation to d9e nor tak5 a /all 9 a !at]4 ,he nev] read a newspap]1 rely+ on 8 publi%] = m>k$ copies p]ta9+ to 8 own works4 ,8 indiff]5ce to politics 0 s complete t he _h nev] drawn 8 elector's c>d4 ,x is prop] to add1 9 ord] to fix ! pr9cipal features ( ?is s+ul> be+1 t he _h brok5 (f all connection ) 8 family1 & t ?is rupture 0 f\nd$1 l ! smalle/ act ( 8 life1 ^u a !ory4 ,he _h writt5 9 ! preface to 8 second book1 8,anatomy ( ! ,w10 ?is significant s5t5ce3 8,! social atta*m5ts %\ld be r$uc$ to _! m9imum = ! man :o wi%es to "k & speak ! tru? 9 ! doma9 ( ! psy*ologic sci5ces40 ,f a simil> motive ?is man1 :o 0 s g5tle t he _h n giv5 ?ree comm&s to 8 s]vant 9 fifte5 ye>s1 sy/ematically =bade himself all *>ity4 ,on ?is po9t he agre$ ) ,sp9oza :o has writt5 9 ! f\r? book ( ! ,e?ics3 8,pity1 = a wise man :o lives accord+ to reason1 is bad & useless40 ,?is ,sa9t ,lais1 z he might h be5 call$ z ju/ly z ! v5]able ,emile ,littr1 hat$ 9 ,*ri/ianity ! excessive fondness = humanity4 ,he gave ^! two reasons = x3 fir/ t ! hypo!sis ( a ,heav5ly ,fa!r & ( et]nal happ9ess _h develop$ to excess ! di/a/e = ! real & _h dim9i%$ ! p[] to accept ! laws ( nature2 second1 9 e/abli%+ ! social ord] ^u love1 t is1 ^u s5sibility1 ?is religion _h op5$ ! way to all ! caprices ( ! mo/ p]sonal doctr9es4 ,he did n suspect t 8 fai?ful s]vant _h sew$ consecrat$ m$als into all 8 ve/s1 & 8 indiff]5ce ) reg>d to ! ext]nal _w 0 s complete t he w5t )\t meat on ,fridays & on o!r days prescrib$ by ! ,*ur*1 )\t p]ceiv+ ?is ef=t on ! "p ( ! old maid to assure ! salvation ( a ma/] ( :om %e sometimes said1 repeat+ unconsci\sly a celebrat$ say+3 8,! good ,god w\ld n be ! good ,god1 if he _h ! he>t to damn him40 ,^! ye>s ( cont9u\s labor 9 ?is h]mitage ( ! ,rue ,guy de la ,brosse _h produc$1 beside ! 8,anatomy ( ! ,w10 a 8,!ory ( ! ,passions10 9 ?ree volumes1 ^: publication w\ld h be5 /ill m sc&al\s ?an t ( ! 8,psy*ology ( ,god10 if ! extreme lib]ty ( ! press = t5 ye>s _h n accu/om$ read]s to audacities ( description :i* ! mild1 te*nical f]ocity ( a savant c\ld n equal4 ,9 ^! two books is f\nd1 precisely /at$1 ! doctr9e ( ,m4 ,sixte :i* x is necess>y to take up aga9 "h1 9 "s ( its g5]al features1 = ! intellig5t und]/&+ ( ! drama to :i* ?is %ort biography s]ves z prologue4 ,) ! critical s*ool sprung f ,kant1 ! au?or ( ^! ?ree treatises admits t ! m9d is p[]less to "k causes & sub/ances1 & t x ought only to co-ord9ate ph5om5a4 ,) ! ,engli% psy*ologi/s1 he admits t "o gr\p among ^! ph5om5a1 ^? :i* are class$ "u ! "n ( s\l1 may be ! object ( sci5tific k1 on condition ( _! be+ /udi$ aft] a sci5tific me?od4 ,up to ?is po9t1 z we all see1 !re is no?+ 9 ^! !ories :i* di/+ui%es !m f ^? :i* ,messrs4 ,ta9e1 ,ribot & _! disciples h develop$ 9 _! pr9cipal works4 ,! two orig9al *>act]i/ics ( ,m4 ,sixte's inquiries are f\nd else:]e4 ,! fir/ resides 9 a negative analysis ( :at ,h]b]t ,sp5c] calls ! ,unkn[able4 ,we "k t ! great ,engli% ?9k] admits t all reality re/s ^u a ,fir/ ,cause :i* x is impossible to p5etrate2 consequ5tly x is necess>y to use ! =mula ( ,fi*te1 to compreh5d ?is ,fir/ ,cause 7arrire-fonds7 z incompreh5sible2 b z ! beg9n+ ( ! 8,fir/ ,pr9ciples0 /rongly atte/s ?is ,unkn[able is real to ,mr4 ,sp5c]4 ,x exi/s s9ce we d]ive our exi/5ce f x4 ,f ?is !re is only a /ep to appreh5d t ?is ,fir/ ,cause ( all reality involves a m9d & a s\l s9ce "o f9ds _! s\rce 9 x4 ,_m excell5t m9ds =esee a probable reconciliation betwe5 sci5ce & religion on ?is gr\nd ( ! ,unkn[able4 ,= ,m4 ,sixte ?is is a la/ =m ( metaphysical illusion :i* he is rabid to de/roy ) an en]gy ( argum5t t has n be5 se5 to ?is degree s9ce ,kant4 ,8 second title ( honor z psy*ologi/ consi/s 9 an expos1 q novel & v +5i\s1 ( ! animal orig9 ( human s5sibility4 ,?anks to an exhau/ive read+ & a m9ute k ( ! natural sci5ces1 he has be5 able to attempt = ! g5esis ( human ?\ght ! "w :i* ,d>w9 attempt$ = ! g5esis ( ! =ms ( life4 ,apply+ ! law ( evolution to all ! facts :i* con/itute ! human he>t1 he has claim$ to %[ t1 our mo/ ref9$ s5sations1 our mo/ subtile moral delicacies z well z our mo/ %ameful failures1 are ! late/ developm5t1 ! supreme metamorphosis ( v simple in/9cts1 :i* are !mselves trans=mations ( ! primitive cellule2 s t ! moral univ]se exactly reproduces ! physical1 & ! =m] is ! consci\sness1 ei!r pa9ful or pleasurable1 ( ! latt]4 ,?is conclusion pres5t$ "u ! title ( hypo!sis because ( its metaphysical "*1 is ! result ( a m>vel\s s]ies ( analyses1 among :i* x is prop] to cite two hundr$ pages on love1 :i* are s audaci\s z to be almo/ ludicr\s f ! p5 ( s *a/e a man4 ,b has n ,sp9oza himself giv5 u a !ory ( jeal\sy :i* has n be5 equall$ 9 brutality by any mod]n noveli/8 ,& does n ,s*op5hau] rival ,*am=t 9 ! _s ( 8 tirades aga9/ wom58 ,x is almo/ unnecess>y to add t ! mo/ complete positivism p]vades ^! books f "o end to ! o!r4 ,we owe to ,m4 ,sixte "s s5t5ces :i* express ) extreme en]gy ?is conviction t ev]y?+ 9 ! m9d is !re ( necessity1 ev5 ! illusion1 t we are free4 8,e act is only an addition4 ,to say he is free1 is to say t !re is 9 ! total m ?an !re is 9 ! sum ( all ! p>ts4 ,t is z absurd 9 psy*ology z x is 9 ari?metic40 ,& aga93 8,if we c\ld "k correctly ! relative position ( all ! ph5om5a :i* con/itute ! actual univ]se1 we c\ld1 f ! pres5t1 calculate ) a c]ta9ty equal to t ( ! a/ronom]s ! day1 ! h\r1 ! m9ute :5 ,engl&1 = example1 w evacuate ,india1 or ,europe w h burn$ h] la/ piece ( coal1 or su* a crim9al1 /ill unborn1 w assass9ate 8 fa!r1 or su* a poem1 n yet conceiv$ w be writt54 ,! future is conta9$ 9 ! pres5t z all ! prop]ties ( ! triangle are conta9$ 9 its def9ition40 ,mohamm$an fatalism itself is n express$ ) m absolute precision4 8,) speculations ( ?is ord]1 only ! mo/ frightful aridity ( imag9ation w\ld seem to comport4 ,?us t :i* ,m4 ,sixte s (t5 said ( himself3 ,i take life on its poetic side10 appe>$ to ^? :o he>d x ! mo/ absurd ( p>adoxes4 ,& yet no?+ is tru] ) reg>d to ! special nature ( ! m9ds ( philosoph]s4 ,:at ess5tially di/+ui%es ! born philosoph] f o!r m5 is t ideas in/ead ( be+ =mulas ( ! m9d m or less exact1 are to him real & liv+ ?+s4 ,s5sibility1 ) him1 models itself ^u ! ?\ght in/ead ( e/abli%+ a divorce m or less complete1 betwe5 ! he>t & ! bra91 z ) ! re/ ( u4 ,a ,*ri/ian prea*] has admirably %[n ! nature ( ?is divorce :5 he utt]$ ?is /range & pr(\nd s5t5ce3 8,we "k well t we %all die1 b we d n believe x40 ,! philosoph]1 :5 he is "o by passion & by con/itution1 does n conceive ?is duality1 ?is life divid$ betwe5 contradictory s5sations & reflections4 ,?is univ]sal necessity1 ?is indef9ite & con/ant metamorphosis ( ph5om5a1 ?is colossal "w ( nature ceaselessly mak+ & unmak+ itself1 ) no po9t ( dep>ture1 no po9t ( arrival1 by ! play ( ! primitive cells alone1 ?is p>allel "w ( ! human m9d reproduc+ "u ! =m ( ?\ghts & volitions ! movem5t ( physiological life1 0 n = ,m4 ,sixte a simple object ( speculation4 ,he plung$ into ! contemplation ( ^! ideas ) a k9d ( v]tigo1 he felt !m ) all 8 be+1 s t ?is simple man seat$ at 8 table1 wait$ ^u by 8 old h\sekeep]1 9 a /udy ^: %elves 7 lad5 ) books1 ?is man ( poor appe>ance1 ) 8 feet 9 a c>riage boot 7*ancelire7 to keep !m w>m1 & 8 body wrapp$ 9 a %abby great-coat1 p>ticipat$ 9 imag9ation 9 ! labor ( ! univ]se4 ,he liv$ ! life ( e creature4 ,he slept ) ! m9]al1 vegetat$ ) ! plant1 mov$ ) ! rudim5t>y bea/s1 conf\nd$ himself ) ! sup]ior organisms1 & at la/ exp&$ into ! fullness ( a m9d capable ( reflect+ ! va/ univ]se4 ,^! are ! delights ( g5]al ideas1 analog\s to ^? ( opium1 :i* r5d] ^! dream]s indiff]5t to ! small accid5ts ( ! ext]nal _w1 & also1 :y %all we n say x8 almo/ absolute /rang]s to ! ord9>y affections ( life4 ,we become atta*$ to t :i* we feel to be v real2 n[ to ^! s+ul> m9ds1 x is ab/raction :i* is reality1 & ! daily reality is only a %ad[1 only a gross & degrad$ impression ( ! invisible laws4 ,p]haps ,m4 ,sixte _h lov$ 8 "m1 b surely ?is 0 ! limit ( 8 s5tim5tal exi/5ce4 ,if he 0 g5tle & indulg5t to all1 x 0 f ! same in/9ct :i* made him take hold ( a *air g5tly1 :5 he wi%$ to move x out ( 8 way2 b he _h nev] felt ! ne$ ( a w>m & lov+ t5d]ness1 ( family1 ( devotion1 ( love1 nor ev5 ( fri5d%ip4 ,he sometimes conv]s$ ) "s savants ) :om he 0 associat$1 b always pr(essionally on *emi/ry ) "o1 on ! high] ma!matics ) ano!r1 & on ! diseases ( ! n]v\s sy/em ) a ?ird4 ,:e!r ^! m5 7 m>ri$1 occupi$ 9 re>+ families1 anxi\s to make a c>e] = !mselves or n1 0 ( no int]e/ to him 9 8 relations ) !m2 b h[ev] /range su* a conclusion mu/ appe> aft] su* a sket*1 he 0 happy4 ,giv5 su* a man1 su* a home & su* a life1 let u imag9e ! effect produc$ 9 ?is /udy 9 ! ,rue ,guy de la ,brosse by two ev5ts :i* occurr$ "o aft] ! o!r 9 ! same aft]noon3 fir/1 a summons address$ to ,m4 ,adri5 ,sixte1 to appe> at ! (fice ( ,m4 ,valette1 ,judge ( ,in/ruction1 = ! purpose ( be+ que/ion$1 8^u c]ta9 facts & circum/ances ( :i* he w\ld be in=m$20 second1 a c>d be>+ ! "n ( ,mme4 ,greslon & ask+ ,m4 ,sixte to receive h] ! next day t[>d f\r o'clock1 8to talk ) him ab\t ! crime ( :i* h] son 0 falsely accus$40 ,i h said t ! philosoph] nev] read a newspap]4 ,if by *ance he _h op5$ "o a =tnight be=e he w\ld h f\nd allusions to ?is hi/ory ( ! "y ,greslon :i* m rec5t trials h caus$ to be =gott54 ,= want ( ?is in=mation ! summons & ! note ( ! "m _h no def9ite mean+ = him4 ,h[ev]1 by ! relation betwe5 !m he conclud$ t !y 7 probably connect$1 & he ?\ght !y conc]n$ a c]ta9 ,rob]t ,greslon1 :om he _h kn[n ! prec$+ ye>1 9 q simple circum/ances4 ,b ^! circum/ances contra/$ too /rongly ) ! idea ( a crim9al process1 to guide ! conjectures ( ! savant1 & he rema9$ a long "t look+ at ! summons turn by turn ) ! c>d1 a prey to t almo/ pa9ful anxiety :i* ! lea/ ev5t ( an unexpect$ nature does inflict on m5 ( fix$ habits4 ,rob]t ,greslon8 ,m4 ,sixte _h read ?is "n = ! fir/ "t two ye>s be=e1 at ! bottom ( a note accompany+ a manuscript4 ,?is manuscript bore ! title3 8,contribution to ! ,/udy ( ! ,multiplication ( ,self10 & ! note mode/ly express$ ! wi% t ! celebrat$ writ] w\ld glance at ! fir/ essay ( a v "y man4 ,! au?or _h add$ to 8 signature3 8,vet]an pupil ( philosophy at ! ,cl]mont-,f]r& ,lyceum40 ,?is "w ( almo/ sixty pages reveal$ an intellect s prematurely subtle1 an acqua9tance s exact ) ! mo/ rec5t !ories ( contemporane\s psy*ology1 & f9ally su* +5uity ( analysis1 t ,m4 ,sixte _h believ$ x a duty to respond by a long lett]4 ,a note ( ?anks _h come back imm$iately1 9 :i* ! "y man ann\nc$ t1 be+ oblig$ to g to ,p>is = ! oral exam9ation ( ! normal s*ool he w\ld h ! honor to pres5t himself1 to ! ma/]4 ,! latt] _h !n se5 ent] 8 /udy "o aft]noon1 a "y man ( ab\t tw5ty ye>s ) f9e black eyes1 lively & *angeable1 :i* light$ up a c\nt5ance :i* 0 almo/ too pale4 ,?is 0 ! only detail ( physiognomy :i* rema9$ 9 ! memory ( ! philosoph]4 ,l all o!r speculative p]sons1 he receiv$ only a float+ impression ( ! visible _w & he reta9$ b a remembrance z vague z ?is impression4 ,8 memory ( ideas 01 h[ev]1 surpris+1 & he recall$ to ! smalle/ detail 8 conv]sation ) ,rob]t ,greslon4 ,among ! "y m5 :om 8 r5[n attract$ to him1 none _h a/oni%$ him m by ! truly extraord9>y precocity ( 8 erudition & 8 reason+4 ,no d\bt !re float$ 9 ! m9d ( ?is y\? mu* ( ! eff]vesc5ce ( m9d :i* assimilates too quickly va/ quantities ( div]se k2 b :at m>vel\s facility ( d$uction6 ,:at natural eloqu5ce1 & :at visible s9c]ity ( en?usiasm4 ,! savant c\ld see him ge/iculat+ a little & say+3 8,no1 monsieur1 y d n "k :at y are to u1 nor :at we feel 9 read+ y\r books4 ,y are ! "o :o accepts ! :ole tru?1 ! "o 9 :om we c believe4 ,:y1 ! analysis ( love 9 y\r 8,!ory ( ! ,passions0 is our brevi>y4 ,! book is =bidd5 at ! ,lyceum4 ,i _h x at home & two ( my comrades copi$ c]ta9 *apt]s dur+ ! holidays40 ,z !re is ! au?or's vanity hidd5 9 ! s\l ( e man :o has _h 8 prose pr9t$1 be he ev5 s absolutely s9c]e z ,m4 ,adri5 ,sixte c]ta9ly 01 ?is wor%ip ( a gr\p ( s*ol>s1 s +5u\sly express$ by "o ( !m1 _h p>ticul>ly flatt]$ ! philosoph]4 ,rob]t ,greslon _h solicit$ ! honor ( a second visit1 & !n :ile confess+ a failure at ! normal s*ool1 he disclos$ a little ( 8 projects4 ,m4 ,sixte1 contr>y to all 8 habits1 _h que/ion$ him ^u ! mo/ m9ute details4 ,he _h ?us le>n$ t ! "y man 0 ! only son ( an eng9e] :o _h di$ )\t leav+ a =tune1 & t 8 "m _h made _m sacrifices 9 ord] to educate him4 8,b ,i w accept no m10 said ,rob]t1 8x is my int5tion to take my degree next ye>1 !n ,i %all ask = a *air ( philosophy 9 "s college1 & ,i w write an ext5d$ "w on ! v>iation ( p]sonality1 ( :i* ! essay t ,i submitt$ to y is ! embryo40 ,& ! eyes ( ! "y psy*ologi/ grew m brilliant z he =mulat$ ?is programme ( life4 ,^! two visits dat$ f ,augu/1 #ahhe1 ! second 0 9 ,febru>y1 #ahhg1 & s9ce !n1 ,m4 ,sixte _h receiv$ five or six lett]s f 8 "y disciple4 ,! la/ ann\nc$ ! entrance ( ,rob]t ,greslon z preceptor1 into a noble family t 0 pass+ ! summ] mon?s 9 a *teau ne> "o ( ! pretty lakes ( ! ,auv]gne ,m\nta9s--,lake ,aydat4 ,a simple detail w give ! measure ( ! preoccupation into :i* ,m4 ,sixte 0 ?r[n by ! co9cid5ce betwe5 ! lett] f ! (fice ( ! judge & ! note ( ,mme4 ,greslon4 ,al?\gh !re 7 ^u 8 table1 ! pro(s ( a long article = ! ,philosophical ,review to correct1 he began se>*+ = ! correspond5ce ) ! "y man4 ,he f\nd x readily 9 ! box 9 :i* he c>efully arrang$ 8 smalle/ pap]s4 ,x 0 class$ ) o!rs ( ! same k9d1 "u ! head3 8,doctr9es contemporane\s on ! =mation ( m9d40 ,x made ne>ly ?irty pages1 :i* ! savant read aga9 ) special c>e1 )\t f9d+ any?+ b reflections ( an entirely intellectual ord]1 v>i\s que/ions ^u "s read+s1 & ! /atem5ts ( c]ta9 projects = memories4 ,:at ?read c\ld connect su* preoccupations ) ! crim9al process ( :i* ! "m spoke8 ,0 ?is process ! cause ( ! summons o!rwise inexplicable8 ,?is boy :om he _h se5 only twice mu/ h made a /rong impression on ! philosoph]1 = ! ?\ght t ! my/]y hidd5 beh9d ?is call f ! ,palais de ,ju/ice 0 ! same z t :i* caus$ ! sudd5 visit ( ?is despair+ "m kept him awake a "p ( ! night4 ,= ! fir/ "t 9 all ^! ye>s he 0 %>p ) ,mlle4 ,trap5>d because ( "s slight neglig5ce1 & :5 he pass$ 9 front ( ! lodge at "o o'clock 9 ! aft]noon 8 face1 usually s calm1 express$ anxiety s pla9ly t ,fa!r ,c>bonnet1 already prep>$ by ! lett] ( citation :i* _h arriv$ unseal$1 accord+ to a b>b>\s cu/om1 & :i* he _h read1 & z 0 "r confid$ to 8 wife--x 0 n[ ! talk ( ! :ole qu>t]--said3 8,i am n inquisitive ab\t o!r p's bus9ess1 b ,i w\ld give ye>s ( my life z l&lord to "k :at ju/ice c want ( poor ,m4 ,sixte t he %\ld come d[n at ?is "t ( day40 8,:y1 ,m4 ,sixte has *ang$ 8 h\r = walk+10 said ! bak]'s daught] to h] "m1 z %e sat beh9d ! c\nt] 9 ! %op1 8x seems t he is go+ to h a lawsuit ov] an inh]itance40 8,/rike me if t isn't old ,sixte go+ by1 ! old zebra6 ,x appe>s t ju/ice is aft] him10 said "o ( ! two pupils 9 ph>macy to 8 comrade2 8^! old fell[s look v innoc5t1 b at bottom !y are all rogues40 8,he is m ( a be> ?an usual1 he w n ev5 speak to u40 ,?is 0 said by ! wife ( ! pr(essor ( ! ,college ( ,france :o liv$ 9 ! same h\se ) ! philosoph] & :o _h j met him4 8,s mu* ! bett]1 & !y say he is go+ to be prosecut$ = writ+ su* books4 ,i am n sorry = t40 ,?us we see h[ ! mo/ mode/ m51 & ^? :o believe !mselves to be ! lea/ notic$1 c n /ir a /ep )\t incurr+ ! comm5ts ( innum]able tongues1 ev5 ?\gh !y live 9 :at ,p>isians are pleas$ to call a quiet qu>t]4 ,let u add t ,m4 ,sixte w\ld h c>$ z little = ?is curiosity1 ev5 if he _h suspect$ x1 z he c>$ = a volume ( (ficial philosophy4 ,?is 0 = him an expression ( extreme contempt4 ,,ii4 ,,! ,,greslon ,,affair4 ,,! celebrat$ philosoph] 0 9 ev]y?+ me?odically punctual4 ,among ! maxims :i* he _h adopt$ at ! beg9n+1 9 imitation ( ,desc>tes1 0 ?is3 8,ord] enfran*ises ! m9d40 ,he arriv$1 !re=e1 at ! ,palais de ,ju/ice five m9utes be=e ! "t appo9t$4 ,he _h to wait a half-h\r 9 ! corridor be=e ! judge call$ him4 ,9 ?is long passage1 ) its long1 b>e1 :ite walls1 & furni%$ ) a few *airs & tables = ! use ( ! mess5g]s1 all voices 7 l[]$1 z is usual 9 all (ficial ante*amb]s4 ,!re 7 six or sev5 o!r p]sons4 ,! savants companions 7 an hone/ b\rgeois & 8 wife1 "s %opkeep]s ( ! neighborhood :o 7 v mu* out ( _! elem5t4 ,! sight ( ?is p]son1 ) 8 smoo?ly-%av5 face1 8 eyes hidd5 beh9d ! d>k1 r\nd glasses ( 8 spectacles1 ) 8 long r$+ote & 8 inexplicable physiognomy made ^! p s uneasy t !y left ! place :]e !y 7 :isp]+ toge!r3 8,he is a detective10 :isp]$ ! husb& to 8 wife4 8,d y ?9k s80 ask$ ! woman reg>d+ ! enigmatic & immovable figure 9 t]ror4 8,dieu6 b he has a false look60 ,:ile ?is pr(\ndly comic sc5e 0 be+ act$1 )\t ! pr(essional obs]v] ( ! human he>t suspect+ = a mom5t ! effect he 0 produc+1 nor ev5 notic+ t !re 0 any "o beside him await+ audi5ce1 ! ,judge ( ,in/ruction 0 talk+ ) a fri5d 9 a small room adjo9+ 8 (fice4 ,adorn$ ) ! autographs & portraits ( "s fam\s crim9als1 ?is ap>tm5t s]v$ ,m4 ,valette = toilet-room1 smok+-room1 & also a place ( retreat :5 he wi%$ to *at out ( ! inevitable pres5ce ( 8 cl]k4 ,! judge 0 a man less ?an =ty ye>s ( age1 ) a h&some pr(ile1 clo!s cut 9 ! late/ fa%ion & ) r+s on 8 f+]s1 9 fact1 a magi/rate ( ! new s*ool4 ,he held 9 8 h& ! pap] on :i* ! savant _h writt5 8 "n 9 a cle>1 runn+ h& & pass$ x to 8 fri5d1 a simple man ( leisure1 ) "o ( ^? physiognomies at once n]v\s & expressionless :i* are only se5 9 ,p>is4 ,w\ld y try to read _! ta/es1 habits1 or "*8 ,x is impossible1 s manifold & contradictory are ! s5sations :i* h pass$ ov] ! c\nt5ance4 ,?is viveur 0 "o ( ^? m5 :o are always pres5t at fir/ repres5tations1 :o visit pa9t]s' /udios1 :o att5d s5sational trials1 & :o pride !mselves on be+ au c\rant ) ! affairs ( ! day1 89 ! swim10 z !y say to-day4 ,aft] read+ ! "n ( ,adri5 ,sixte1 he exclaim$3 8,well1 old fell[1 h y ! *ance ( talk+ ) t man6 ,y rememb] 8 *apt] on love 9 "s old book or o!r4 ,ah6 he's a lasc> :o kn[s all ab\t ! wom54 ,b :at ! devil are y go+ to "q him ab\t80 8,ab\t ?is ,greslon case10 repli$ ! judge2 8! "y man has (t5 be5 to 8 h\se1 & ! def5se has summon$ him z witness = ! prison]4 ,a commission ( exam9ation has be5 issu$1 no?+ m40 8,i wi% ,i c\ld see him10 said ! o!r4 8,w\ld x give y pleasure8 ,no?+ easi]4 ,i am go+ to h him call$4 ,y w g out z he comes 94 ,well1 x is settl$ t we w meet at ,dur&'s at eight o'clock1 is x8 ,w ,gladys be !re80 8,( c\rse4 ,d y "k ,gladys' late/80 ,we 7 reproa*+ ,*ri/9e 9 h] pres5ce = deceiv+ ,jacques1 :5 %e said3 8,b %e mu/ h two lov]s1 = %e sp5ds 9 "o ye> twice :at ea* "o gives h]60 8,fai?10 said ,valette1 8,i believe t %e surpasses1 9 ! philosophy ( love1 all ! ,sixtes 9 ! _w & 9 ! demi-_w too40 ,! two fri5ds laugh$ gayly1 !n ! judge gave ! ord] to call ! philosoph]4 ,! curi\s "o1 :ile %ak+ h&s ) ,vilette & say+3 8,good-by till ev5+1 precisely at eight o'clock10 w9k$ 8 eye beh9d 8 s+le eyeglass 9 ord] ! bett] to unmask ! illu/ri\s writ] :om he knew f hav+ read ! piquant extracts f ! 8,!ory ( ! ,passions10 9 ! newspap]s4 ,! appe>ance ( ! good man1 at once timid & ecc5tric1 :o ent]$ ! judge's (fice ) ! mo/ visible emb>rassm5t1 contradict$ s pla9ly ! idea ( ! bit+ misan?rope1 cruel & disillusion$1 :o 0 outl9$ 9 _! imag9ation1 t ! man-ab\t-t[n & ! magi/rate ex*ang$ a look ( a/oni%m5t4 ,a smile came irresi/ibly to _! lips1 b only = a mom5t4 ,! fri5d 0 already gone4 ,! o!r motion$ to ! witness to take a seat 9 "o ( ! gre5 velvet arm *airs ) :i* ! room 0 furni%$1 a luxury complet$1 9 ! adm9i/rative mann]1 by a gre5 moquette c>pet & a mahogany writ+ desk4 ,! face ( ! judge _h resum$ its gravity4 ,^! *anges f "o attitude to ano!r are mu* m s9c]e ?an ^? imag9e :o obs]ve ^! contra/s ( be>+ betwe5 ! private man & ! function>y4 ,! p]fect social com$ian1 :o holds 8 pr(ession 9 p]fect contempt1 is happily a v r>e mon/]4 ,we h n ?is /r5g? ( scepticism 9 ! s]vice ( our hypocrisies4 ,! witty ,m4 ,valette1 s popul> 9 ! demi-monde1 ! fri5d ( sport+ m51 emulat$ by j\rnali/s 9 witticisms1 & :o _h j n[ comm5t$ gayly ^u ! rem>k ( a bold woman ) :om he %\ld d9e 9 ! ev5+1 f\nd no tr\ble to give place to ! sev]e & coolly skillful magi/rate ^: bus9ess x 0 to f9d out ! tru? 9 ! "n ( ! law4 ,if 8 eye became sudd5ly acute x 0 t he might p5etrate to ! bottom ( ! consci\sness ( ! newcom]4 ,9 ^! fir/ mom5ts ( conv]sation ) "o :om x is _! purpose to make talk1 ev5 aga9/ 8 own w1 born magi/rates exp]i5ce a k9d ( awak5+ ( _! militant nature1 l f5c]s :o try ! play ( an unkn[n adv]s>y4 ,! philosoph] f\nd t 8 pres5tim5ts _h n deceiv$ him1 = he saw1 writt5 9 l>ge lett]s on ! bundle ( pap]s :i* ,m4 ,valette took up ^! words3 8,greslon ,case40 ,sil5ce reign$ 9 ! room brok5 only by ! ru/l+ ( pap] & ! scrat*+ ( ! cl]k's p54 ,?is p]son 0 prep>+ to take d[n ! int]rogatory ) t imp]sonal indiff]5ce :i* di/+ui%es m5 accu/om$ to play ! "p ( ma*9e 9 ! drama ( judicial life4 ,"o case to !m is z mu* l ano!r z "o dea? is l ano!r to an employee ( an und]tak]1 or "o invalid l ano!r to a hospital att5dant4 8,i w sp>e y1 monsieur10 said ! judge at la/1 8! usual que/ions4 ,!re are "s names & "s m5 ( :i* we are n p]mitt$ to be ignorant40 ,! philosoph] did n ev5 incl9e 8 head at ?is complim5t4 8,n us$ to ! _w10 ?\ght ! judge1 8?is is "o ( ^? lit]>y m5 :o ?9k x _! duty to despise u10 & !n al\d3 8,i come to ! fact :i* 0 ! motive ( ! summons address$ to y4 ,y "k ! crime ( :i* "y ,greslon is accus$80 8,p>don1 monsieur10 int]rupt$ ! philosoph]1 *ang+ ! position :i* he _h in/9ctively tak5 to li/5 to ! judge1 8 elb[ on ! *air1 8 *9 9 8 h&1 & 8 index f+] on 8 *eek1 z 9 8 gr&1 solit>y m$itations1 8,i h n ! lea/ idea40 8,x 0 report$ 9 all ! pap]s ) an exactness to :i* ! g5tlem5 ( ! press h n accu/om$ u10 respond$ ! judge1 :o ?\ght x 8 duty to reply to ! scorn ( lit]ature = ! robe diagno/ic by a little p]siflage2 & he said to himself3 8,he is dissimulat+--,:y8 ,to play %>p8 ,h[ /upid60 8,p>don1 monsieur10 said ! philosoph] aga91 8,i nev] read ! pap]s40 ,! judge look$ at him ke5ly & ejaculat$ an 8,ah60 9 :i* !re 0 m irony ?an a/oni%m5t4 8,v good10 ?\ght he1 8y want to compel me to /ate ! case1 wait a little40 ,!re 0 a c]ta9 irritation 9 8 voice z he said3 8,v well1 monsieur1 ,i w sum up ! accusation 9 a few words1 regrett+ t y are n bett] in=m$ ( an affair :i* may v s]i\sly affect y\r moral if n y\r legal responsibility40 ,"h ! philosoph] rais$ 8 head ) an anxiety :i* delight$ ! judge's he>t4 8,caught1 my good man10 said he to himself2 & al\d3 8,9 any case1 y "k1 monsieur1 :o ,rob]t ,greslon is1 & ! position :i* he held 9 ! family ( ! ,m>quis ,jussat ,r&on4 ,i h "h among ^! pap]s copies ( sev]al lett]s :i* y address$ to him at ! *teau1 & :i* te/ify t y 7--h[ %all ,i express x8--! intellectual guide ( ! accus$40 ,! philosoph] aga9 made a motion ( ! head4 8,i %all ask y pres5tly to tell me if ?is "y man ev] spoke to joy ( ! dome/ic life ( ! family & 9 :at t]ms4 ,i give y no in=mation probably :5 ,i tell y t ! family 0 compos$ ( a fa!r1 "m1 a son :o is a capta9 ( dragoons n[ 9 g>rison at ,lunville1 a second son :o 0 ,greslon's pupil1 & a "y girl ( n9ete51 ,mlle4 ,*>lotte40 8,! daught] 0 betro!d to ! ,b>on de ,plane1 an (fic] 9 ! same company z h] bro!r4 ,! m>riage _h be5 delay$ "s mon?s = family reasons :i* h no?+ to d ) ! affair4 ,x _h be5 def9itely fix$ = ! fifte5? ( la/ ,decemb]40 8,n[1 "o morn+ ( ! week :i* prec$$ ! arrival ( ! fianc & ( ,c\nt ,&r1 ! bro!r ( ,mlle4 de ,jussat1 ! maid ent]+ ! room ( h] "y mi/ress at ! usual h\r f\nd h] dead 9 h] b$40 ,! magi/rate made a pause1 & :ile cont9u+ to turn ov] ! pap]s 9 8 packet1 look$ ) half-clos$ eyes at ! witness4 ,! /upor :i* 0 depict$ on ! face ( ! philosoph]1 %[$ su* s9c]ity t ! judge himself 0 a/oni%$4 8,he knew no?+ ab\t x10 said he to himself1 8t is v /range40 ,he /udi$ anew1 )\t *ang+ 8 preoccupi$ & indiff]5t air1 ! c\nt5ance ( ! celebrat$ man2 b he lack$ ! gifts :i* w\ld h r5d]$ ?is ab/ract$ p]son intelligible1 ?is union ( a bra9 all-p[]ful 9 ! realm ( ideas ) an +5u\sness1 a timidity almo/ comical 9 ! doma9 ( facts4 ,he c\ld und]/& no?+ ( x1 & he resum$ 8 recital4 8,?\gh ! physician :o 0 ha/ily summon$ 0 only a mode/1 c\ntry practition]1 he did n hesitate a m9ute 9 recogniz+ t ! appe>ance ( ! body contradict$ all idea ( a natural dea?4 ,! face 0 livid1 ! tee? set1 ! pupils extraord9>ily dilat$1 & ! body1 b5t 9 an ar*1 re/$ on ! nape ( ! neck & on ! heels4 ,9 brief1 ^! 7 ! signs ( poison+ by /ry*n9e4 8,a glass ^u ! night-table conta9$ ! la/ drops ( a potion :i* ,mlle4 de ,jussat mu/ h tak5 dur+ ! night1 z 0 h] cu/om1 = insomnia4 ,%e _h be5 suff]+ = ne>ly a ye> f a n]v\s malady4 ,! doctor analyz$ ^! drops & f\nd traces ( nux vomica4 ,?is1 z y "k1 is "o ( ! =ms 9 :i* ! t]rible poison is sold z m$ic9e4 ,a small bottle )\t any label1 conta9+ "s drops ( a d>k color1 0 pick$ up by a g>d5] "u ! w9d[ ( ! room4 ,?is _h be5 ?r[n f ! w9d[ t x might be brok51 b x _h fall5 on ! s(t e>? ( a fre%ly dug fl[]-b$4 ,^! br[ni% drops 7 also drops ( nux vomica4 8,!re 0 no d\bt t ,mlle4 de ,jussat _h be5 poison$4 ,?is 0 demon/rat$ at ! autopsy4 8,0 x a suicide or a murd]8 ,if a suicide1 :at motive _h ?is "y girl1 :o 0 soon to be m>ri$ to a *>m+ man :om %e lov$1 = kill+ h]self8 & 9 su* a way1 )\t a ^w ( explanation1 )\t a lett] ( f>ewell to h] p>5ts6 ,beside1 h[ _h %e procur$ ! poison8 8,! inve/igation ( ?is matt] put ju/ice on ! track ( ! prison]4 ,be+ que/ion$1 ! apo!c>y ( ! village depos$ t six weeks be=e ! tutor at ! *teau _h b\ght "s nux vomica to take = a disord] ( ! /oma*4 8,n[ ! tutor w5t to ,cl]mont "u pretext ( visit+ 8 sick "m1 on ! v day ( ! discov]y ( ! dead body1 hav+ be5 summon$1 z he said1 by a telegraphic despat*4 ,x 0 %[n t ?is telegram _h nev] be5 receiv$1 t on ! night ( ! crime a s]vant _h se5 him com+ out ( ,mlle4 de ,jussat's room2 f9ally1 t ! bottle ( poison :i* _h be5 b\ght at ! druggi/'s1 & 0 f\nd aga9 9 ! room ( ! "y man1 _h be5 p>tly empti$ & !n refill$ ) wat]4 8,o!r witnesses report$ t ,rob]t ,greslon _h be5 v assidu\s 9 8 att5tions to ! "y girl1 )\t ! k ( h] p>5ts4 ,a lett] 0 ev5 discov]$ :i* he _h writt5 to h] & dat$ elev5 mon?s be=e1 b :i* might be int]pret$ z a skillful attempt at a beg9n+ ( c\rt%ip4 ,! s]vants & ev5 ! "y lad :o 0 8 pupil te/ifi$ t1 = ! pa/ eight days1 ! relations betwe5 ,mlle4 de ,jussat & ! tutor _h be5 /ra9$4 ,%e w\ld sc>cely respond to 8 salutations4 ,f ^! facts ! foll[+ hypo!sis 0 d$uc$3 8,rob]t ,greslon1 be+ 9 love ) ?is "y girl1 _h c\rt$ h] 9 va9 & !n poison$ h] to prev5t h] m>riage ) ano!r4 ,?is hypo!sis 0 /r5g!n$ by ! lies ( :i* ! "y man _h be5 guilty :5 he 0 que/ion$4 ,he d5i$ t he _h ev] writt5 to ,mlle4 de ,jussat2 ! lett] 0 %[n him1 & ev5 half ( an envelope1 ) 8 h&writ+ ^u x1 0 f\nd among ! rema9s ( burn$ pap]s 9 ! fireplace ( ! victim's room4 ,he d5i$ go+ out ( ,mlle4 ,*>lotte's room on ! night 9 "q1 & he 0 br\ght face to face ) ! footman :o _h se5 him1 & :o support$ 8 ass]tion ) ! great] en]gy t he confess$ t he _h gone to keep an appo9tm5t ) "o ( ! maids ) :om he 0 9 love1 at ! same h\r4 8,beside1 ,greslon c\ld n expla9 :y he _h b\ght ! nux vomica4 8,x 0 prov$ t he _h nev] be=e compla9$ ( any /oma* tr\ble4 ,he c\ld nei!r expla9 ! inv5tion ( ! dispat*1 8 sudd5 dep>ture1 nor 8 frightful agitation at ! news ( ! discov]y ( ! poison+4 ,beside1 no o!r motive ?an a lov]'s v5geance 0 admissible1 f ! simple fact t ! victim's jewelry & money 7 n tak5 & h] body bore no m>k ( viol5ce4 8,?is is ! way x 0 presumably done3 ,greslon ent]$ ,mlle4 de ,jussat's room1 kn[+ t %e usually slept until two o'clock1 :5 %e awoke to take h] potion4 ,he put into ?is potion en\gh nux vomica to s ov]p[] ! girl t %e _h only "t to replace ! glass ^u ! table1 b 0 unable to call = help4 ,!n1 fe>+ t 8 emotion w\ld betray him1 he w5t away be=e ! body 0 discov]$4 8,! empty bottle :i* 0 f\nd on ! gr\nd he _h ?r[n f ! /udy w9d[ :i* op5$ directly above t ( ,mlle4 ,*>lotte4 ,! o!r bottle he _h refill$ ) wat] by "o ( ^? unskillful ruses :i* betray ! novice 9 crime4 8,9 brief1 ,greslon is n[ conf9$ 9 ! jail at ,riom & w appe> at ! assizes ( t city1 9 ,febru>y1 or e>ly 9 ,m>*1 accus$ ( poison+ ,mlle4 de ,jussat ,r&on4 8,! *>ge aga9/ him is made m ov]:elm+ by 8 attitude s9ce 8 arre/4 ,he has %ut himself up 9 absolute sil5ce1 s9ce 8 falsehoods 7 conf\nd$1 & refuses to answ] any "q put to him1 simply say+ he is innoc5t & has no ne$ to def5d himself4 ,he has refus$ c\nsel & is 9 a /ate ( s pr(\nd melan*oly t we mu/ believe t he is haunt$ by a t]rible remorse4 8,he reads & writes a great deal1 b :at seems v /range1 & %[s ! /r5g? ( ! com$y ) ?is "y man ( tw5ty1 he reads & writes only on subjects ( pure philosophy1 no d\bt to c\nt]act ! bad impression made by 8 gloom9ess1 & also to prove 8 entire fre$om ( m9d4 ,! nature ( ! prison]'s occupations leads me1 monsieur1 aft] ?is prolong$ /atem5t1 to ! reason = :i* y\r evid5ce is desir$ 9 ?is case1 by ! "m ( ! "y man1 :o naturally rebels aga9/ ! evid5ce1 & :o is dy+ ( grief1 b is unable to ov]come h] son's sil5ce4 ,y\r books1 ) ^? ( "s ,engli% psy*ologi/s1 are ! only ones :i* ! prison] has ask$ =4 ,i w add t y\r books 7 f\nd on ! %elves ( 8 libr>y1 9 a condition :i* %[ t !y h be5 mo/ assidu\sly read1 & betwe5 ! pr9t$ leaves !re are o!r leaves fill$ ) comm5ts1 sometimes m develop$ ?an ! text itself4 ,y %all judge = y\rself40 ,:ile speak+ ,m4 ,valette h&$ ! philosoph] a copy ( ! 8,psy*ology ( ,god10 :i* ! latt] op5$ me*anically4 ,he c\ld see at ea* pr9t$ page a correspond+ leaf cov]$ ) writ+ simil> to 8 own1 b m confus$ & n]v\s4 ,9 ! t5d5cy ( ! l9es to fall1 a graphologue w\ld h discov]$ a t5d5cy to easy disc\ragem5t4 ,?is simil>ity ( writ+ impress$ ! philosoph] = ! fir/ "t1 & gave him a s+ul>ly pa9ful s5sation4 ,he clos$ ! book & return+ x to ! judge said3 8,i am pa9fully surpris$1 monsieur1 at ! revelations y h j made to me2 b ,i confess ,i d n und]/& :at sort ( relation exi/s betwe5 ?is crime & my books or my p]son1 nor :at c be ! nature ( ! te/imony ,i c be call$ ^u to give40 8,t is v simple1 h[ev]10 repli$ ! judge4 8,h[ev] grave ! *>ges aga9/ ,rob]t ,greslon may be !y re/ ^u c]ta9 hypo!ses4 ,!re are t]rible presumptions aga9/ him1 b !re is no absolute c]ta9ty4 ,s y see1 monsieur1 to use ! language ( ! sci5ce 9 :i* y excel1 t a "q ( psy*ology w rule ! conte/4 ,:at 7 ! ?\ghts1 :at 0 ! "* ( ?is "y man8 ,x is evid5t t1 if he 7 mu* int]e/$ 9 ab/ract /udies ! *ances ( 8 guilt dim9i%40 ,:ile mak+ ?is ass]tion1 9 :i* ! savant did n suspect a sn>e1 ,valette seem$ m & m indiff]5t4 ,he did n add t "o ( ! argum5ts ( ! prosecution1 br\ght =w>d by ! old ,m>quis de ,jussat 0 t ,rob]t ,greslon _h be5 corrupt$ by 8 read+4 ,he wi%$ to br+ ,m4 ,sixte to *>act]ize ! pr9ciples ) :i* ! "y man _h be5 impregnat$4 8,"q me1 monsieur10 respond$ ! savant4 8,%all we beg9 at ! beg9n+80 said ! judge4 8,9 :at circum/ances & at :at date did y make ! acqua9tance ( ,rob]t ,greslon80 8,two ye>s ago10 said ! savant1 89 relation to a "w ( a purely speculative k9d ^u human p]sonality1 :i* he came to submit to me40 8,did y see him (t580 8,twice only40 8,:at impression did he make on y80 8,t ( a "y man admirably end[$ = psy*ological "w10 repli$ ! philosoph]1 weigh+ 8 words1 s t ! judge felt conv9c$ t he wi%$ to see & speak ! tru?2 8s well end[$ ev5 t ,i 0 almo/ fright5$ at 8 precocity40 8,he did n conv]se ) y ab\t 8 private life80 8,v little10 said ! philosoph]2 8he only told me t he liv$ ) 8 "m1 & t he int5d$ to make tea*+ 8 pr(ession & at ! same "t "w at "s books40 8,inde$10 repli$ ! judge1 8t 0 "o ( ! articles laid d[n 9 a sort ( programme ( life :i* 0 f\nd among ! prison]'s pap]s1 among ^? t are left4 ,= x is "o ( ! *>ges aga9/ him t1 betwe5 8 exam9ation & 8 writt5 atte/ation1 he de/roy$ ! mo/ ( !m4 ,c\ld y10 he add$1 8give any explanation ( "o s5t5ce ( ?is programme :i* is v obscure to ! pr(ane :o are n conv]sant ) mod]n philosophy8 ,"h is ! s5t5ce10 tak+ a %eet f among ! o!rs3 8,multiply to ! utmo/ psy*ological exp]i5ces40 8,:at d y ?9k ,rob]t ,greslon und]/&s by t80 8,i am v mu* puzzl$ to answ] y1 monsieur10 said ,m4 ,sixte aft] a sil5ce2 b ! judge began to see t x 0 useless to use artifice ) a man s simple1 & he und]/ood t 8 sil5ce simply %[$ t he 0 seek+ an exact expression = 8 ?\ghts4 8,i only "k ! mean+ :i* ,i myself %\ld atta* to ?is =mula1 & probably ?is "y man 0 too well in/ruct$ 9 works ( psy*ology n to ?9k ! same4 ,x is evid5t t 9 ! o!r sci5ces ( obs]vation1 su* z physics or *emi/ry1 ! c\nt]-v]ification ( any law :atev] exacts a positive & concrete application ( t law4 ,:5 ,i h decompos$ wat]1 = example1 into its elem5ts1 ,i ought to be able1 all conditions be+ equal1 to recon/ruct wat] out ( ^! same elem5ts4 ,t is an exp]i5ce ( ! mo/ ord9>y k9d1 b :i* suffices to summ>ize ! me?od ( ! mod]n sci5ces4 ,to "k by an exp]im5tal k is to be able to reproduce at w su* or su* a ph5om5on1 by reproduc+ its conditions40 8,is su* a proc$ure admissible ) moral ph5om5a8 ,i1 = my "p1 believe t x is1 & def9itely ?is t we call education is no?+ m ?an a psy*ological exp]i5ce m or less well e/abli%$1 s9ce x sums up ?us3 hav+ giv5 su* a ph5om5on--:i* sometimes is call$ a virtue1 su* z pati5ce1 prud5ce1 s9c]ity2 sometimes an intellectual aptitude1 su* z a dead or a liv+ language1 or?ography1 calculation--to f9d ! conditions 9 :i* ?is ph5om5on produces itself ! mo/ easily4 ,b ?is field is v limit$1 = if ,i wi%$1 = in/ance1 ! exact conditions ( ! bir? ( su* passion be+ once kn[n1 to produce at w ?is passion 9 a subject1 ,i %\ld imm$iately come up aga9/ insoluble difficulties ( law & morals4 ,!re w come a "t p]haps1 :5 su* exp]im5ts w be possible4 8,my op9ion is t1 = ! pres5t1 we psy*ologi/s mu/ keep to ! exp]i5ces e/abli%$ by law & by accid5t4 ,) memoirs1 ) works ( lit]ature or art1 ) /ati/ics1 ) law reports1 ) notes on =5sic m$ic9e1 we h a _w ( facts at our s]vice4 8,rob]t ,greslon _h1 9 fact1 discuss$ ?is desid]atum ( our sci5ce ) me4 ,i recollect1 he regrett$ t ^? condemn$ to dea? c\ld n be plac$ 9 special conditions1 :i* w\ld p]mit ( exp]im5t+ ^u !m c]ta9 moral ph5om5a4 ,?is 0 simply a hypo!tical op9ion1 ( a v "y m9d1 :o did n consid] t1 to "w usefully 9 ?is ord] ( ideas1 x is necess>y to /udy "o case = a v long "t4 ,x w\ld be be/ to exp]im5t on *ildr51 b h[ c\ld we make any "o believe t x w\ld be useful to sci5ce to produce 9 !m c]ta9 defects or c]ta9 vices = example80 8,vices60 exclaim$ ! judge a/\nd$ by ! tranquillity ) :i* ! philosoph] pron\nc$ ?is phrase4 8,i speak z a psy*ologi/10 respond$ ! savant :o smil$ 9 8 turn at ! exclamation ( ! judge2 8t is j :y1 monsieur1 our sci5ce is n susceptible ( c]ta9 progress4 ,y\r exclamation proves t if ,i _h ne$$ any pro(4 ,society _c get beyond ! !ory ( ! good & ! bad :i* = u has no o!r mean+ ?an to m>k a collection ( conv5tions sometimes useful1 sometimes pu]ile40 8,y admit1 h[ev]1 t !re are good actions & bad actions10 said ,m4 ,valette2 !n ! magi/rate ass]t+ himself & turn+ ?is g5]al discussion to ! pr(it ( 8 inquiry3 8,?is poison+ ( ,mlle4 de ,jussat10 he ins9uat$1 8= example1 y w admit t ?is is a crime80 8,f ! social po9t ( view1 )\t d\bt10 respond$ ,m4 ,sixte4 8,b = philosophy !re is nei!r crime nor virtue4 ,our volitions are facts ( a c]ta9 ord] gov]n$ by c]ta9 laws1 t is all4 ,b1 monsieur10 & "h ! nave vanity ( ! writ] %[$ itself1 8y w f9d a demon/ration ( ^! !ories1 :i* ,i v5ture to ?9k conclusive1 9 my #8,anatomy ( ! ,w4'0 8,did y sometimes approa* ^! subjects ) ,rob]t ,greslon80 ask$ ! judge1 8& d y believe t he %>$ y\r views80 8,v probably10 said ! philosoph]4 8,d y "k1 monsieur10 ask$ ! magi/rate1 unmask+ 8 batt]ies1 8t y come v ne> ju/ify+ ! accusations ( monsieur ! ,m>quis de ,jussat1 :o claims t ! doctr9es ( contempor>y mat]iali/s h de/roy$ all moral s5se 9 ?is "y man1 & h made him capable ( ?is murd]80 8,i d n "k :at matt] is10 said ,m4 ,sixte1 8s ,i am n a mat]iali/4 ,z to ?r[+ ^u a doctr9e ! responsibility ( ! absurd int]pretation :i* a badly balanc$ bra9 gives to x1 t is almo/ z bad z to reproa* ! *emi/ :o discov]$ dynamite = ! crimes 9 :i* ?is sub/ance is employ$4 ,t is an argum5t :i* has no =ce40 ,! tone 9 :i* ! philosoph] pron\nc$ ^! words reveal$ ! inv9cible /r5g? ( spiritual resi/ance :i* pr(\nd fai? gives1 z a timidity almo/ infantile1 9 ! mid/ ( ! /ir ( mat]ial life1 0 reveal$ 9 ! acc5t ) :i* he sudd5ly ask$3 8,d y believe t ,i %all be oblig$ to g to ,riom to te/ify80 8,i ?9k n1 monsieur10 said ! judge :o c\ld n help notic+ ) new a/oni%m5t ! contra/ betwe5 ! firmness ( ?\ght 9 ! fir/ "p ( 8 disc\rse & ! anxiety ) :i* ?is la/ s5t5ce _h be5 utt]$1 8= ,i see t y\r int]views ) ! prison] h be5 m sup]ficial ?an 8 "m believ$1 if inde$ !y 7 limit$ to ^? two visits & to a correspond5ce :i* appe>s to h be5 exclusively philosophical4 ,b h y nev] receiv$ any confid5ces relat+ to 8 life ) ! ,jussats80 8,nev]2 beside he ceas$ to write to me almo/ imm$iately aft] he ent]$ t family1 said ,m4 ,sixte40 8,9 8 la/ lett]s 0 !re no trace ( new aspirations1 ( inquietude ( a curiosity ( unkn[n s5sations80 8,i h n notic$ any10 said ! philosoph]4 8,well1 monsieur10 repli$ ,m4 ,valette aft] a brief sil5ce1 dur+ :i* he /udi$ anew ?is s+ul> witness1 8,i w n deta9 y any long]4 ,y\r "t is too preci\s4 ,p]mit me to g ov] ! few responses y h made1 to my cl]k4 ,he is n accu/om$ to exam9ations t be> ^u matt]s s elevat$4 ,y w sign aft]w>d40 ,:ile ! magi/rate 0 dictat+ to 8 cl]k :at he ?\ght w\ld be ( int]e/ to ju/ice 9 ! deposition ( ! savant1 ! latt]1 :o 0 evid5tly confus$ by ! horrible revelation ( ! crime ( ,rob]t ,greslon & by 8 conv]sation ) ! judge1 li/5$ )\t mak+ any rem>ks1 almo/ )\t compreh5d+ :at 0 be+ said4 ,he sign$ 8 "n )\t look+1 aft] ,m4 ,valette _h read al\d to him ! pages on :i* 8 answ]s 7 record$1 & once m be=e tak+ leave he said3 8,!n ,i c be v sure t ,i %all n h to g d[n !re80 8,i hope n10 said ! judge1 conduct+ him to ! door2 & he add$3 89 any case x w\ld only be = a day or two10 feel+ a secret pleasure at ! *ildi% angui% depict$ on ! good man's face4 ,!n :5 ,m4 ,sixte _h left 8 (fice4 8,!re are "s fools t x w\ld be well to %ut up10 said he to 8 cl]k1 :o ass5t$ by a nod4 8,x is ?r\gh ideas l ^? ( ?is fell[ ^u crime t "y p are ru9$4 ,he seems to be s9c]e4 ,he w\ld be less dang]\s if he 7 a sc\ndrel4 ,d y "k t he might easily cut (f 8 disciple's head ) 8 p>adoxes8 ,b t appe>s to be all "r4 ,he is only anxi\s to "k if he w h to g to ,riom4 ,:at a maniac60 ,& ! judge & 8 cl]k %rugg$ _! %\ld]s & laugh$4 ,!n ! =m] aft] a rev]ie ( "s m9utes1 9 :i* he w5t ov] ! v>i\s impressions he _h receiv$ 9 reg>d to ?is be+ absolutely enigmatical to him1 add$3 8,fai?1 little did ,i ev] suspect ! fam\s ,adri5 ,sixte 0 any?+ l t4 ,x is inconceivable40 ,,iii4 ,,simple ,,grief4 ,,! epi!t by :i* ! ,judge ( ,in/ruction condemn$ ! impassibility ( ! savant w\ld h be5 m en]getic /ill1 if he c\ld h foll[$ ,m4 ,sixte & read ! philosoph]'s ?\ghts dur+ ! %ort "t :i* sep>at$ ?is exam9ation f ! r5dezv\s fix$ by ! unhappy "m ( ,rob]t ,greslon4 ,hav+ arriv$ 9 ! great c\rt ( ! ,palais de ,ju/ice1 he :om ,m4 ,vilette at t v mom5t 0 call+ a maniac look$ fir/ at ! clock1 z became a work] s m9utely regul>4 8,qu>t]-pa/ two10 he ?\ght1 8,i %all n be home be=e ?ree4 ,madame ,greslon ought to be !re at f\r4 ,i %all n be able to d any "w4 ,t is v disagreeable40 ,& he resolv$ on ! spot to take 8 daily walk1 ! m readily t he c\ld rea* ! ,j>d9 des ,plantes along ! riv] & ?r\gh ! city1 ^: old physiognomy & quiet peacefulness he lov$4 ,! sky 0 blue ) ! cle> blue ( fro/y days1 vaguely t9t$ ) violet at ! horizon4 ,! ,se9e fl[$ "u ! bridges gre5 & gayly labori\s1 ) its load$ boats on :i* smok$ ! *imneys ( small wood5 h\ses ^: w9d[s 7 adorn$ ) famili> plants4 ,! horses trott$ swiftly ov] ! dry pavem5t4 ,if ! philosoph] saw all ^! details 9 ! "t t he took to rea* ! sidewalk ( ! quay1 ) ! precaution ( a prov9cial afraid ( ! c>riages1 x 0 = him a s5sation ev5 m unconsci\s ?an usual4 ,he cont9u$ to ?9k ( ! surpris+ revelation :i* ! judge _h j made to him2 b a philosoph]'s head is a ma*9e s peculi> t ev5ts d n produce ! direct & simple impression :i* seems natural to o!r p]sons4 ,?is "o 0 compos$ ( ?ree individuals fitt$ into "o2 !re 0 ! simple-m9d$1 ,sixte1 an old ba*elor1 a slave to ! scrupul\s c>e ( 8 s]vant & anxi\s fir/ ( all = 8 mat]ial tranquillity4 ,!n !re 0 ! philosophical polemic1 ! au?or1 animat$1 unkn[n to himself1 by a f]oci\s self-love common to all writ]s4 ,& la/1 ! great psy*ologi/1 passionately atta*$ to ! problems ( ! inn] life2 & 9 ord] t an idea %\ld accompli% its full action ^u ?is m9d1 x 0 necess>y = x to pass ?r\gh ^! ?ree comp>tm5ts4 ,f ! ,palais de ,ju/ice to ! fir/ /ep on ! bord] ( ! ,se9e1 x 0 ! b\rgeois :o reason$3 8,yes10 said he to himself1 repeat+ ! words :i* ! sight ( ! clock _h call$ =?1 8t is v disagreeable4 ,a :ole day lo/1 & :y8 ,i wond] :at ,i h to d ) all t /ory1 ( assass9ation1 & :at in=mation my te/imony has br\ght to ! exam9ation60 ,he did n suspect t1 9 ! h&s ( a skillful advocate1 8 !ory ( crime & responsibility might become ! mo/ =midable ( weapons aga9/ ,greslon4 8,x 0 n wor? ! tr\ble to di/urb me10 cont9u$ he4 8,b ^! p h no idea ( ! life ( a man :o writes4 ,:at a /upid t judge 0 ) 8 imbecile que/ions6 ,i hope ,i %all n h to g to ,riom to appe> be=e "s o!rs ( ! same sort60 ,he saw ! picture ( 8 dep>ture pa9t$ afre% 9 8 imag9ation 9 *>act]s ( odi\s confusion :i* a d]angem5t ( ?is k9d repres5ts to a man ( /udy :om action unsettles & = :om physical ennui becomes a positive unhapp9ess4 ,great ab/ract intellects suff] f ^! pu]ilities4 ,! philosoph] saw 9 a fla% ( angui% 8 trunk op51 8 l95 pack$1 ! pap]s necess>y to 8 "w plac$ ne> 8 %irts1 8 gett+ into a cab1 ! tumult ( ! /ation1 ! railway c>riage1 & ! co>se famili>ity ( proximity1 ! arrival 9 an unkn[n t[n1 ! mis]ies ( ! hotel *amb] )\t ! c>e ( ,mlle4 ,trap5>d1 :o _h become necess>y to him1 al?\gh he 0 z ignorant ( x z a *ild4 ,?is ?9k]1 s h]oically indep5d5t t he w\ld h m>*$ to m>tyrdom = 8 convictions1 ) ! firmness ( a ,bruno or a ,van9i1 0 seiz$ by a sort ( v]tigo at ! picture ( an ev5t s ord9>y4 ,he saw himself 9 ! ,hall ( ,assizes1 con/ra9$ to answ] que/ions1 9 ! pres5ce ( an att5tive cr[d1 & t )\t an idea to support him aga9/ 8 native timidity4 8,i w nev] receive a "y man aga910 he conclud$1 8yes1 ,i w %ut my door h5ce=?4 ,b ,i w n anticipate4 ,p]haps ,i %all n h to g ?r\gh ?is unpleasant task & all is end$4 ,end$80 ,& already ! home-keep+ citiz5 gave place 9 ?is inw>d monologue to ! second p]son hidd5 )9 ! philosoph]1 namely1 ! writ] ( books :i* 7 discuss$ ) passion by ! public4 8,end$80 ,yes1 = him :o comes & goes1 :o lives 9 ! ,rue ,guy de la ,brosse & :o w\ld be v mu* annoy$ if he _h to g to ,auv]gne 9 ! w9t]1 x may be4 ,b :at ab\t my books & my ideas8 ,:at a /range ?+ is ?is in/9ctive hate ( ! ignorant = ! sy/ems :i* !y _c ev5 compreh5d4 8,a jeal\s "y man murd]s a "y girl to prev5t h] m>ry+ ano!r4 ,?is "y man has be5 9 correspond5ce ) a philosoph] ^: works he /udies4 ,x is ! philosoph] :o is guilty4 ,& ,i am a mat]iali/ =soo?1 ,i :o h prov$ ! nonexi/5ce ( matt]60 ,he %rugg$ 8 %\ld]s1 !n a new image cross$ 8 memory1 ! image ( ,m>ius ,dum\l91 ! "y sub/itute at ! ,college ( ,france1 ! man :om he mo/ dete/$ 9 ! _w4 ,he saw1 z if !y 7 !re be=e 8 eyes1 "s ( ! =mul s de> to ?is def5d] ( spiritualism3 8,fatal doctr9es4 ,intellectual poison di/ill$ f p5s :i* "o w\ld l to believe are unconsci\s4 ,sc&al\s exposure ( a psy*ology ( corruption40 8,yes10 said ,adri5 ,sixte to himself ) bitt]ness1 8if "s "o does n cat* up ?is *ance :i* makes an assass9 ( "o ( my pupils1 x w n be he6 ,psy*ology w h done x all40 ,x is prop] to /ate t1 ,dum\l9 _h1 on ! appe>ance ( ! 8,anatomy ( ! ,w10 po9t$ out a grave error4 ,adri5 ,sixte _h bas$ "o ( 8 mo/ +5i\s *apt]s ^u a s-call$ discov]y ( a ,g]man physician :i* 0 prov$ to be incorrect4 ,p]haps ,dum\l9 dwelt on ?is inadv]t5ce ( ! great analy/ ) a sev]ity ( irony f> too disrespectful4 ,m4 ,sixte1 :o r>ely notic$ criticisms1 _h repli$ to ?is "o4 ,:ile confess+ ! error1 he prov$ )\t any tr\ble1 t ?is po9t ( detail did n affect ! !sis z a :ole4 ,b he *]i%$ an unp>donable rancor aga9/ ! spirituali/4 8,x is z if ,i he>d him60 ?\ght ,sixte4 8,:at he may say ( my books is no?+ b psy*ology8 ,psy*ology6 ,?is is ! sci5ce on :i* dep5ds ! future ( our belov$ ,france40 ,z we see1 ! philosoph]1 l all o!r sy/ematics1 _h rea*$ ! po9t :]e he made 8 doctr9es ! pivot ( ! univ]se4 ,he reason$ ab\t l ?is3 ,giv5 a hi/oric fact1 :at is ! *ief cause ( x8 ,! g5]al condition ( m9d4 ,?is condition is d]iv$ f ! curr5t ideas4 ,! ,fr5* ,revolution1 = example1 proce$$ entirely f a false conception ( man :i* spr+s f ! ,c>tesian philosophy & f ! 8,disc\rse on ,me?od40 ,he conclud$ t to modify ! m>* ( ev5ts1 x 0 necess>y to modify ! receiv$ notions ^u ! human m9d1 & to in/all 9 _! place "s precise notions :5ce w\ld result a new education & politics4 ,s 9 8 indignation aga9/ ,dum\l9 he s9c]ely believ$ t he 0 indignant at an ob/acle to ! public good4 ,he _h "s unpleasant mom5ts :ile ?us figur+ to himself ?is dete/$ adv]s>y1 tak+ z a text ! dea? ( ,mlle4 de ,jussat = a vigor\s sortie aga9/ ! mod]n sci5ce ( ! m9d4 8,%all ,i h to answ] him aga980 ask$ ,sixte1 :o already 0 sure ( ! attack ( 8 rival1 su* p[] h ! passions to consid] real t :i* !y only imag9e4 8,yes10 he insi/$1 & !n al\d1 8,i w reply 9 my be/ mann]60 ,he 0 by ?is "t beh9d ! apsis ( ,notre ,dame & he /opp$ to survey ! ar*itecture ( ! ca!dral4 ,?is anci5t edifice symboliz$ to him ! complex "* ( ! ,g]man intellect :i* he contra/$ 9 ?\ght ) ! simplicity ( ! ,hell5ic m9d1 reproduc$ = him 9 a photograph ( ! ,p>!non1 :i* he _h (t5 contemplat$ 9 ! ,libr>y ( ,nancy4 ,! remembrance ( ,g]many *ang$ ! curr5t ( 8 ?\ghts = a mom5t4 ,he recall$1 almo/ unconsci\sly1 ,hegel1 !n ! doctr9e ( ! id5tity ( contr>ieties1 !n ! !ory ( evolution :i* grew out ( x4 ,?is la/ idea1 jo9$ itself to ^? :i* _h already agitat$ him1 & resum+ 8 walk1 he began to argue aga9/ ! anticipat$ objections ( ,dum\l9 9 ! case ( "y ,greslon4 ,= ! fir/ "t ! drama ( ! ,*teau ,jussat-,r&on appe>$ real to 8 m9d1 = he 0 ?9k+ ( x ) ! mo/ real "p ( 8 nature1 8 psy*ologic faculty4 ,he =got ,dum\l9 z well z ! inconv5i5ces ( ! possible j\rney to ,riom1 & 8 m9d 0 completely absorb$ by ! moral problem :i* ! crime pres5t$4 ,! fir/ "q w\ld naturally h be53 8,did ,rob]t ,greslon really assass9ate ,mlle4 de ,jussat80 ,b ! philosoph] did n ?9k ( t1 yield+ to ?is defect ( g5]aliz+ m9ds1 t nev] m ?an half v]ify ! ideas ^u :i* !y speculate4 ,facts are1 to !m1 only matt] = !oretic us+1 & !y di/ort !m wilfully ! bett] to build up _! sy/ems4 ,! philosoph] aga9 took up ! =mula by :i* he summ$ up ?is drama3 8,a "y man :o becomes jeal\s & commits a murd]1 ?is is "o m pro( 9 support ( my !ory t ! in/9ct ( de/ruction & t ( love awake at ! same "t 9 ! male40 ,he _h us$ ?is pr9ciple to write a *apt] ( extraord9>y boldness on ! ab]rations ( ! g5]ative faculty 9 8 #8,!ory ( ! ,passions4' ,! reappe>ance ( fi]ce animality among ! civiliz$ w\ld alone suffice to expla9 ?is act4 ,x w\ld be necess>y also to /udy ! p]sonal h]$ity ( ! assass94 ,he =c$ himself to see ,rob]t ,greslon )\t any o!r traits ?an ^? :i* confirm$ ! hypo!sis already outl9$ 9 8 m9d4 8,^? v brilliant black eyes1 ^? too vivaci\s ge/ures1 t brusque mann] ( ent]+ into relations ) me1 t en?usiasm 9 speak+ to me1 !re 0 n]v\s d]angem5t 9 ?is fell[4 ,! fa!r di$ "y8 ,if x c\ld be prov$ t !re 0 alcoholism 9 ! family1 !n !re w\ld be a beautiful case ( :at ,legr& ,du ,saulle calls pilepsie l>ve4 ,9 ?is way 8 sil5ce may be expla9$1 & 8 d5ials may be s9c]e4 ,?is is ! ess5tial diff]5ce betwe5 an epileptic & ! d]ang$4 ,! la/ rememb]s 8 act1 ! epileptic =gets !m4 ,w\ld ?is !n be a l>val epileptic80 ,at ?is po9t ( 8 rev]ie ! philosoph] exp]i5c$ a mom5t ( real joy4 ,he _h j con/ruct$ a build+ ( ideas :i* he call$ an explanation1 foll[+ ! habit s de> to 8 race4 ,he consid]$ ?is hypo!sis f diff]5t po9ts1 recall+ sev]al examples cit$ by 8 au?or 9 8 beautiful treatise on =5sic m$ic9e1 until he arriv$ at ! ,j>d9 des ,plantes1 :i* he ent]$ by ! l>ge gate ( ! ,quay ,sa9t ,b]n>d4 ,he turn$ to ! "r into an av5ue plant$ ) old trees ^: di/ort$ trunks 7 inclos$ 9 iron & coat$ ) :itewa%4 ,!re float$ 9 ! air a mu/y smell emanat+ f ! tawny bea/s :i* mov$ ar\nd 9 _! b>r$ cages ne>by4 ,! philosoph] 0 di/ract$ f 8 m$itations by ?is odor1 & he turn$ to look at a l>ge1 old wild-bo> ) an enorm\s head1 :i*1 /&+ on 8 sl5d] feet1 held 8 mobile & eag] sn\t betwe5 ! b>s4 8,&10 ?\ght ! savant1 8we "k ourselves b little bett] ?an ?is animal kn[s himself4 ,:at we call our p]son is a consci\sness s vague1 s di/urb$ by op]ations :i* are go+ on )9 u10 & return+ to ,rob]t ,greslon3 8,:o kn[s8 ,?is "y man :o 0 s preoccupi$ by ! multiplicity ( ! self8 ,did he n h an obscure feel+ t !re 7 9 himself two di/9ct conditions1 a prim>y & second>y condition z x 7--two be+s 9 fact1 "o1 lucid1 intellig5t1 hone/1 lov+ works ( ! intellect1 ! "o :om ,i knew2 & ano!r1 gloomy1 cruel1 impulsive1 ! "o :o has committ$ murd]4 ,evid5tly ?is is a case4 ,i am v happy to h come across x40 ,he =got t on leav+ ! ,palais de ,ju/ice he _h deplor$ 8 relations ) ! accus$4 8,x w be a =tunate ?+ to /udy ! "m n[4 ,%e w furni% me ) facts ab\t ! ance/ors4 ,t is :at is lack+ to our psy*ology2 good monographs made de visu ^u ! m5tal /ructure ( great m5 & ( crim9als4 ,i w try to write out ?is "o40 ,all s9c]e passion is egoi/ic1 ! intellectual z well z ! o!rs4 ,?us ! philosoph]1 :o w\ld n h h>m$ a fly walk$ ) a m rapid /ep 9 go+ t[>d ! gate at ! ,rue ,cuvi] :5ce he w\ld rea* ! ,rue ,jussieu1 !n ! ,rue ,guy de la ,brosse--he 0 ab\t to h an int]view ) a despair+ "m :o 0 com+1 )\t d\bt1 to entreat him to aid h] 9 sav+ ! head ( a son :o 0 p]haps innoc5t6 ,b ! possible innoc5ce ( ! prison]1 ! grief ( ! "m1 ! "p :i* he himself w\ld be call$ to play 9 ?is novel sc5e1 all 7 effac$ by ! fix$ idea ( ! notes to be tak51 ( ! little insignificant facts to be collect$4 ,f\r o'clock /ruck :5 ?is s+ul> dream]1 :o no m suspect$ 8 own f]ocity ?an does a physician :o is *>m$ by a beautiful autopsy1 arriv$ 9 front ( 8 h\se4 ,on ! ?re%old ( ! porte co*re 7 two m53 ,fa!r ,c>bonnet & ! commissionaire usually /ation$ at ! corn] ( ! /reet4 ,) _! back turn$ to ! side f :i* ,adri5 ,sixte came1 !y 7 laugh+ at ! /umbl+s ( a drunk5 man on ! opposite walk1 & say+ su* ?+s z a spectacle ( t "* sugge/s to ! common p4 ,! cock ,f]d9&1 br[n & lu/r\s1 hopp$ ab\t _! feet & pick$ betwe5 ! /ones ( ! pavem5t4 8,t fell[ has tak5 a drop too mu* = sure10 said ! commissionaire4 8,:at if ,i %\ld tell y10 respond$ ,c>bonnet1 8t he has n drunk en\gh8 ,= if he _h drunk m1 he w\ld h fall5 d[n at ! w9esell]'s4 ,good6 see him /umble up aga9/ ! lady 9 black40 ,! two speak]s1 :o _h n se5 ! philosoph]1 cont9u$ to b> ! way4 ,! la/2 ) ! cu/om>y am5ity ( 8 mann]s1 hesitat$ to di/urb !m4 ,me*anically he turn$ 8 eyes 9 ! direction ( ! drunk5 man4 ,he 0 an un=tunate fell[ 9 rags2 8 head 0 cov]$ ) a high hat weak5$ by innum]able falls2 8 feet danc$ 9 8 worn\t boots4 ,he _h j knock$ aga9/ a p]son 9 deep m\rn+ :o 0 /&+ at ! angle ( ! ,rue ,guy de la ,brosse & ! ,rue ,l9n4 ,)\t d\bt %e 0 look+ at "s "o on ! side ( ?is latt] /reet1 "s "o 9 :om %e 0 int]e/$1 = %e did n turn at once4 ,! man 9 rags1 ) ! p]si/5cy ( drunk5 p1 0 excus+ himself to ?is woman1 :o !n fir/ became aw>e ( 8 pres5ce4 ,%e drew back ) a ge/ure ( disgu/4 ,! drunk5 man became angry1 & support+ himself aga9/ ! wall1 hurl$ at h] "s (f5sive language2 a cr[d ( *ildr5 soon collect$ ar\nd him4 ,! commissionaire began to laugh1 & s did ,c>bonnet4 ,!n turn+ ar\nd to look = ! cock1 mutt]+3 8,:]e has he gone to cr[1 ! runaway80 he saw ,adri5 ,sixte1 beh9d :om ,f]d9& _h tak5 refuge1 & :o 0 also reg>d+ ! sc5e betwe5 ! drunk5 man & ! unkn[n lady4 8,ah6 ,monsieur ,sixte10 said ! conci]ge1 8t lady 9 black has be5 twice to ask = y 9 ! la/ qu>t] ( an h\r4 ,%e said t y 7 expect+ h]40 8,br+ h] "h10 respond$ ! savant4 8,x is ! "m10 ?\ght he4 ,8 fir/ impulse 0 to g 9 at once1 !n a k9d ( timidity came ov] him1 & he rema9$ at ! door :ile ! conci]ge1 foll[$ by ! cock1 w5t ov] to ! gr\p collect$ on ! corn] ( ! /reet4 ,! woman no soon] he>d ,c>bonnet's words ?an %e turn$ t[>d ! philosoph]'s h\se1 leav+ ,f]d9&'s ma/] to scold ! drunk>d4 ,! philosoph]1 in/9ctively cont9u+ 8 reason+1 in/antly notic$ a s+ul> resemblance betwe5 ! my/]i\s p]son & ! "y man ab\t :om he _h be5 que/ion$4 ,!re 7 ! same bright eyes1 9 a v pale face1 & ! same ca/ ( features4 ,!re 0 n ! lea/ d\bt1 & imm$iately ! implacable psy*ologi/1 curi\s only ab\t a case to be /udi$1 gave place to ! awkw>d1 simple-m9d$ man1 unskillful 9 practical life1 emb>rass$ by 8 long body & n kn[+ h[ to say ! fir/ ^w4 ,mme4 ,greslon1 = x 0 %e1 reliev$ him by say+3 8,i am1 monsieur1 ! p]son :o wrote to y ye/]day40 8,v mu* honor$1 madame10 /amm]$ ! philosoph]1 8,i regret t ,i 0 n at home e>li]4 ,b y\r lett] said f\r o'clock4 ,& !n ,i h j come f ! ,judge ( ,in/ruction1 :]e ,i 0 summon$ to te/ify 9 ! case ( ?is unhappy *ild40 8,ah6 monsieur10 said ! "m1 t\*+ ,m4 ,sixte ^u ! arm to call 8 att5tion to ! commissionaire :o /ood 9 ! angle ( ! door to li/54 8,i beg y\r p>don10 said ! savant1 :o compreh5d$ ! cruelty ( 8 ab/raction4 8,p]mit me to pass be=e y to %[ y ! way40 ,he proce$$ to m\nt ! /airs :i* began to be d>k at ?is "t ( a w9t]'s day4 ,he w5t up sl[ly to suit ! lassitude ( 8 companion1 :o held by ! rail1 z if %e _h sc>cely en]gy en\gh to asc5d ! f\r flights4 ,h] %ort brea? :i* c\ld be he>d 9 ! prov9cial sil5ce ( ?is empty h\se1 betray$ ! feebl5ess ( ! unhappy woman4 ,z little s5sitive z 0 ! philosoph] to ! out] _w1 he 0 fill$ ) pity :51 ent]+ 8 /udy ) its clos$ %utt]s :i* ! fire & ! lamp already light$ by 8 s]vant s(tly illum9$1 he saw 8 visitor face to face4 ,! wr9kle pl[$ f ! corn]s ( ! m\? to ! ala ( ! nose1 ! lips scor*$ by fev]1 ! eyebr[s contract$1 ! d>kness ab\t ! eyelids1 ! n]v\sness ( ! h&s 9 _! black gloves1 9 :i* %e held a roll ( pap]1 )\t d\bt "s ju/ify+ memoir--all ^! details reveal$ ! torture ( a fix$ idea2 & sc>cely _h %e fall5 into a *air :5 %e said 9 a brok5 voice3 8,my ,god6 my ,god6 ,i am !n too late4 ,i wi%$ to speak to y1 monsieur1 be=e y\r conv]sation ) ! judge4 ,b y def5d$ him1 did y n8 ,y said t x 0 n possible2 t he _h n done :at !y accuse him (8 ,y d n believe him guilty1 monsieur1 y :om he call$ 8 ma/]1 y :om he lov$ s mu*80 8,i did n h to def5d him1 madame10 said ! philosoph]2 8,i 0 ask$ :at _h be5 my relations ) him1 & z ,i _h se5 him only twice1 & he spoke only ( 8 /udies----0 8,ah60 int]rupt$ ! "m ) an acc5t ( pr(\nd angui%2 & %e repeat$3 8,i h come too late4 ,b no10 %e cont9u$1 clasp+ h] trembl+ h&s4 8,y w g be=e ! ,c\rt ( ,assizes to te/ify t he _c be guilty1 t y "k he _c be8 ,"o does n become an assass91 a poison]1 9 a day4 ,! y\? ( crim9als prep>es ! way = _! crimes4 ,!y are bad p]sons1 gambl]s1 frequ5t]s ( ! saloons4 ,b he has always be5 ) 8 books1 l 8 poor fa!r4 ,i us$ to say to him3 #8,come1 ,rob]t run out1 y mu/ take ! air1 y mu/ amuse y\rself4' ,if y c\ld h se5 :at a quiet little life we lead1 he & ,i1 be=e he w5t into ?is accurs$ family4 ,& x 0 = my sake t he %\ld n co/ me any?+ m t he w5t into x1 & t he might g on ) 8 /udies40 8,he w\ld h be5 admitt$ 9 ?ree or f\r ye>s & !n p]haps h tak5 a position 9 a lyceum at ,cl]mont4 ,i %\ld h _h him m>ry4 ,i h se5 a good p>ti = him4 ,i %\ld h rema9$ ) him1 9 "s corn]1 to take c>e ( 8 *ildr54 ,ah6 monsieur60 & %e s\ght 9 ! philosoph]'s eyes1 a response 9 h>mony ) h] passionate desire2 8tell me1 if x is possible = a son :o _h su* ideas to d :at !y say he has done8 ,x is infam\s2 is x n infam\s1 monsieur80 8,be calm1 madame1 be calm40 ,^! 7 ! only words :i* ,adri5 ,sixte c\ld f9d to say to ?is "m :o wept ov] ! ru9 ( h] mo/ *]i%$ hopes4 ,beside1 be+ /ill "u ! impression ( 8 conv]sation ) ! judge1 %e seem$ to him to be s wildly beyond ! tru?1 a prey to illusions s bl9d t he 0 /upefi$1 & also1 :y n confess x8 ! r5ew$ prospect ( ! j\rney to ,riom fright5$ him z mu* z ! grief ( ! "m affect$ him4 ,^! diff]5t impressions %[$ !mselves 9 8 mann] by an unc]ta9ty1 an abs5ce ( w>m? :i* did n deceive ! "m4 ,extreme suff]+ has infallible intuitions ( in/9ct4 ,?is woman und]/ood t ! philosoph] did n believe 9 ! innoc5ce ( h] son1 & ) a ge/ure ( extreme depression1 recoil+ f him ) horror1 %e moan$3 8,monsieur1 y too1 y are ) 8 enemies4 ,y--y80 8,no1 madame1 no10 g5tly respond$ ,adri5 ,sixte1 8,i am n an enemy4 ,i ask no?+ bett] ?an to believe :at y believe4 ,b y w p]mit me to speak frankly8 ,facts are facts1 & !y are t]ribly aga9/ him4 ,! poison b\ght cl&e/9ely1 ! bottle ?r[n out ( ! w9d[1 ! o!r bottle half empti$ !n refill$ ) wat]1 ! go+ out ( ! girl's room on ! night ( h] dea?2 ! false dispat*1 8 sudd5 dep>ture1 ^? burn$ lett]s1 & !n 8 d5ial ( x all40 8,b1 monsieur1 !re is no pro( 9 all t10 int]rupt$ ! "m1 8no pro( at all4 ,:at ( 8 sudd5 dep>ture8 ,he _h be5 wi%+ = m ?an a mon? to get away f ! place1 ,i h a lett] 9 :i* he speaks ( 8 plan1 & beside 8 engagem5t 0 almo/ at an end4 ,he fanci$ t !y wi%$ to reta9 him & he 0 tir$ ( ! life ( a tutor1 & !n1 z he is s timid1 he gave a false pretext & inv5t$ ?is un=tunate dispat* t is all4 ,& z to ! poison he did n buy x secretly4 ,he has suff]$ = ye>s f a /oma* tr\ble4 ,he has /udi$ too h>d imm$iately aft] 8 meals4 ,:o saw him g out ( t room8 ,a s]vant6 ,:at if ! real murd]] paid ?is s]vant to accuse my son8 ,d we "k any?+ ab\t ?is girl's intrigues & :o 7 int]e/$ 9 kill+ h]80 8,d y n see t all ^! & ! lett]s & ! bottle are p>ts ( ! plan = mak+ suspicion fall on him8 ,h[8 ,:y8 ,t w be f\nd out "s day4 ,b :at ,i d "k is t my son is n guilty4 ,i swe> x by ! memory ( 8 fa!r4 ,ah6 d y believe ,i w\ld def5d him l ?is if ,i felt him to be a crim9al8 ,i w\ld ask = pity1 ,i w\ld weep1 ,i w\ld pray1 b n[ ,i cry = ju/ice1 ju/ice6 ,no1 ^! p h no "r to accuse him1 to ?r[ him into prison1 to di%onor our "n1 = no?+1 = no?+4 ,y see1 monsieur1 ,i h %[n y t !y h n a s+le pro(40 8,if he is innoc5t1 :y ?is ob/9acy 9 keep+ sil5t80 ask$ ! philosoph]1 :o ?\ght t ! poor woman _h %[n no?+ except h] desp]ation 9 /ruggl+ aga9/ ! evid5ce4 8,ah6 if he 7 guilty he w\ld talk10 cri$ ,mme4 ,greslon1 8he w\ld def5d himself1 he w\ld lie6 ,no10 add$ %e 9 a holl[ voice1 8!re is "s my/]y4 ,he kn[s some?+1 t ,i am sure (1 some?+ :i* he does n wi% to tell4 ,he has "s reason = n speak+4 ,p]haps he does n wi% to di%onor ?is "y girl1 = !y claim t he lov$ h]4 ,oh6 monsieur1 ,i h want$ to see y at any risk1 = y are ! only "o :o c make him speak1 :o c make him tell :at he has resolv$ n to tell4 ,y mu/ promise me to write to him1 to g to him4 ,y owe ?is to me10 %e insi/$ 9 a h>d tone4 8,y h made me suff] s mu*40 8,i80 exclaim$ ! philosoph]4 8,yes1 y10 repli$ %e bitt]ly1 & z %e spoke h] face betray$ ! /r5g? ( old grudges2 8^: fault is x t he has lo/ fai?8 ,y\rs1 monsieur1 ?r\gh y\r books4 ,my ,god6 ,h[ ,i did hate y !n6 ,i c /ill see 8 face :5 he told me he w\ld n commune on ,all-,s\l's day1 because he _h d\bts4 #8,& ?y fa!r8' said ,i to him1 #8,all-,s\l's day6' said he3 #8,leave me alone1 ,i d n believe 9 t any long]1 t is done )4' ,he 0 sitt+ at 8 table & he _h a volume be=e him :i* he clos$ :ile he 0 talk+ to me4 ,i rememb]4 ,i read ! "n ( ! au?or me*anically4 ,x 0 y\rs1 monsieur4 8,i did n argue ) him t day2 he 0 a great savant already1 & ,i a poor1 ignorant woman4 ,b ! next day1 :ile he 0 at college ,i took ,m4 ! ,abb ,m>tel1 :o _h educat$ him1 into 8 room to %[ him ! libr>y4 ,i _h a pres5tim5t t x 0 ! read+ :i* _h corrupt$ my son4 ,y\r book1 monsieur1 0 /ill on ! table4 ,! abb took x up & said to me3 #8,?is is ! wor/ ( !m all4' 8,monsieur1 p>don me1 if ,i w\nd y1 b d y see1 if my son 7 /ill a ,*ri/ian1 ,i w\ld g & pray 8 confessor to comm& him to speak4 ,y h tak5 away 8 fai?1 monsieur1 ,i d n reproa* y any m2 b :at ,i w\ld h ask$ ( ! prie/1 ,i h come to ask ( y4 ,if y _h he>d him :5 he came back f ,p>is6 ,he said to me1 speak+ ( y3 #8,if y knew him maman1 y w\ld v5]ate him1 = he is a sa9t4' ,ah6 promise me to make him speak4 ,let him speak = me1 = 8 fa!r1 = ^? :o love him1 = y1 monsieur1 :o _c h _h an assass9 = a pupil4 ,= he is y\r pupil1 y are 8 ma/]2 he owes x to y to def5d himself1 z mu* z to me 8 "m40 8,madame10 said ! savant ) deep s]i\sness1 8,i promise y to d all t ,i c40 ,?is 0 ! second "t to-day t ?is responsibility ( ma/] & pupil _h be5 ?ru/ ^u him4 ,once by ! judge1 repell$ by ! resi/ance ( ! ?9k] :o repels ) disda9 a s5seless reproa*4 ,! words ( ?is good woman1 quiv]+ ) ?is human grief to :i* he 0 s little accu/om$1 t\*$ o!r fibres ?an ^? ( pride4 ,he 0 /ill m /rangely affect$ :5 ,mme4 ,greslon1 seiz+ 8 h& ) a g5tl5ess :i* contradict$ ! bitt]ness ( h] la/ words1 said3 8,he spoke ! tru? :5 he said y 7 good4 ,i came too10 %e cont9u$ dry+ h] te>s1 8to requite myself ( a commission ) :i* ! poor *ild *>g$ me4 ,& see if !re is n 9 x a pro( t he is innoc5t4 ,9 8 prison dur+ ^! two mon?s1 he has writt5 a long "w on philosophy4 ,he consid]s x by f> 8 be/ "w & ,i am *>g$ to h& x to y40 ,%e gave ! savant ! roll ( pap] :i* %e _h held on h] lap4 8,x is j z he gave x to me4 ,!y let him write z mu* z he likes1 ev]ybody loves him4 ,!y d n all[ me to speak to him except 9 ! frightful p>lor :]e !re is always ! gu>d betwe5 u4 ,w y look80 %e insi/$1 & 9 an alt]$ tone3 8,he has nev] li$ to me1 & ,i believe :atev] he has told me4 ,if1 h[ev]1 he _h only ?\ght to write to y :at he w n confide to any "o else80 8,i w see imm$iately10 said ,adri5 ,sixte1 :o unfold$ ! roll4 ,he ?rew 8 eyes ov] ! fir/ page ( ! manuscript & he saw ! words3 8,mod]n ,psy*ology10 !n on ! second %eet ano!r title1 8,memoir ^u ,myself10 & und]nea? 7 ! foll[+ l9es3 8,i write to my de> ma/]4 ,monsieur ,adri5 ,sixte1 & engage 8 ^w to keep to himself ! pages :i* foll[4 ,if he d n agree to make ?is engagem5t ) 8 unhappy pupil1 ,i ask him to de/roy ?is manuscript1 confid+ 9 8 honor n to deliv] x to any "o :omsoev]1 ev5 to save my life40 ,& ! "y man _h simply sign$ 8 initials4 8,well80 ask$ ! "m z ! philosoph] cont9u$ to turn ov] ! leaves1 a prey to pr(\nd anxiety4 8,well60 respond$ he1 clos+ ! manuscript & hold+ ! fir/ page be=e ! curi\s eyes ( ,mme4 ,greslon1 8?is is only a "w on philosophy1 z he told y4 ,see40 ,! "m _h a "q on h] lips1 & suspicion 9 h] eyes :ile %e 0 read+ ! te*nical =mula :i* 0 un9telligible to h] poor m9d4 ,%e _h obs]v$ ,adri5 ,sixte's hesitation4 ,b %e did n d>e to ask1 & %e rose say+3 8,y w excuse me = hav+ kept y s long1 monsieur4 ,i h plac$ my la/ hope ^u y1 & y w n deceive a "m's he>t4 ,i c>ry y\r promise ) me40 8,all t x w be possible = me to d t ! tru? may be kn[n10 said ! philosoph] gravely1 8,i w d1 madame1 ,i promise y aga940 ,:5 he _h conduct$ ! unhappy woman to ! door1 & 0 aga9 alone 9 8 /udy ,adri5 ,sixte rema9$ = a long "t plung$ 9 reflection4 ,tak+ up ! manuscript1 he read & r]ead ! s5t5ce writt5 by ! "y man1 & pu%+ away ! tempt+ manuscript1 he pac$ ! floor4 ,twice he seiz$ ! %eets & approa*$ ! fire1 b he did n ?r[ !m into ! flames4 ,a combat 0 go+ on 9 8 m9d betwe5 a dev\r+ curiosity1 & appreh5sions ( v diff]5t k9ds4 ,to contract ! engagem5t :i* ?is read+ w\ld impose on him1 & to le>n :at c\ld be le>n$ f ^! pages w\ld ?r[ him1 p]haps1 into a horrible situation4 ,if he 7 go+ to hold 9 8 h&s ! pro( ( ! "y man's innoc5ce )\t ! "r to use x1 or :at he suspect$ /ill m1 ! pro( ( 8 guilt1 :at !n8 ,)\t be+ consci\s ( x he trembl$ 9 8 inmo/ nature1 le/ he f9d 9 ?is memoir if !re 7 crime1 ! trace ( 8 own influ5ce1 & ! cruel accusations already twice =mulat$1 t 8 books 7 mix$ up ) ?is s9i/] hi/ory4 ,on ! o!r h&1 ! unconsci\s egoism ( /udi\s m5 :o h a horror ( all confusion1 =bade him to ent] any fur!r into a drama ) :i* he _h def9itely no?+ to d4 8,no10 he conclud$1 8,i w n read ?is memoir2 ,i w write to ?is boy z ,i h promis$ ! "m to d1 !n x w be end$40 ,h[ev]1 8 d9n] _h come 9 ! mid/ ( 8 reflections4 ,he ate alone1 z always1 seat$ 9 ! corn] by a porcela9 /ove1 ! wea!r be+ v *illy1 ! heat 0 8 only com=t1 & be=e a little r\nd table1 cov]$ ) a piece ( oilclo?4 ,! lamp :i* s]v$ = 8 "w light$ 8 frugal repa/1 consi/+1 z usual1 ( s\p & "o di% ( vegetables ) "s rais9s = dess]t1 & = dr9k wat] alone4 ,ord9>ily he took "o ( ! books :i* _h be5 exil$ f ! too-cr[d$ /udy1 or he li/5$ :ile ,mlle4 ,trap5>d expos$ ! details ( ! h\sekeep+4 ,on ?is ev5+ he did n look = a book1 & 8 h\sekeep] tri$ 9 va9 to discov] if ! lady's visit & ! summons _h any connection4 ,! w9d rose1 a w9t]'s w9d ^: pla9t f across ! empty space di$ g5tly aga9/ ! %utt]s4 ,seat$ 9 8 arm*air aft] 8 d9n]1 ) ,rob]t ,greslon's manuscript be=e him1 ! savant li/5$ = a long "t to ?is monoton\s b sad music4 ,8 hesitation return$4 ,!n psy*ology drove away all scruples1 & :5 lat] ,m>iette came to ann\nce t 8 b$ 0 ready1 he told h] to retire4 ,two o'clock /ruck & he 0 /ill read+ ! /range piece ( self-analysis :i* ,rob]t ,greslon call$ a memoir ^u himself1 b ^: correct title %\ld h be53 8,confession ( a ,"y ,man ( ! ,p]iod40 ,,iv4 ,,confession ,,( ,a ,,"y ,,man ,,( ,,! ,,p]iod4 8,,! ,,jail ,,at ,,riom1 ,janu>y1 #ahhg4 8,i ,,write to y1 monsieur1 ?is memoir ( myself :i* ,i h refus$ to ! c\nsel 9 spite ( my "m's entreaties4 ,i write x to y1 :o 9 reality "k s little ( me1 & at :at a mom5t ( my life6 = ! same reason t l$ me to br+ my fir/ "w to y4 ,!re is my illu/ri\s ma/]1 betwe5 y & myself1 y\r pupil accus$ ( a mo/ infam\s crime1 a bond :i* m5 c\ld n und]/&1 & ( :i* y y\rself are ignorant1 b :i* ,i feel to be z close z x is indissoluble4 ,i h liv$ ) y\r ?\ght1 & by y\r ?\ght s passionately1 s entirely at ! mo/ decisive p]iod ( my life6 ,n[ 9 ! di/ress ( my m5tal agony1 ,i turn to ! only be+ ( :om ,i c expect hope1 implore aid4 8,ah6 d n misund]/& me1 v5]at$ ma/]1 & believe t ! t]rible tr\ble ) :i* ,i am /ruggl+ is caus$ by ! va9 =ms ( ju/ice :i* surr\nd me4 ,i %\ld n be wor?y ! "n ( philosoph] if ,i _h n1 long ago1 le>n$ to consid] my ?\ght z ! only reality1 & ! ext]nal _w an indiff]5t & fatal succession ( appe>ances4 ,f my sev5te5? ye>1 ,i h adopt$ z a rule to be repeat$ 9 ! h\rs ( small or great annoyances1 ! =mula ( our de> ,sp9oza3 #8,! =ce by :i* man p]sev]es 9 exi/5ce is limit$1 & t ( ext]nal causes inf9itely surpass x4' 8,i %all be condemn$ to dea? 9 six weeks1 = a crime ( :i* ,i am innoc5t1 & f :i* ,i c n cle> myself1 y w und]/& :y1 aft] hav+ read ^! pages--& ,i %all g to ! scaffold )\t trembl+4 ,i %all support ?is ev5t ) ! same ef=t at composure z if a physician1 aft] hav+ auscultat$ me1 %\ld diagnose an advanc$ disease ( ! he>t4 ,condemn$1 ,i %all h to conqu] fir/ ! revolt ( ! animal nature & !n to support myself aga9/ ! despair ( my "m4 8,i h le>n$ f y\r works ! rem$y = su* feel+s1 & 9 oppos+ to ! image ( approa*+ dea? ! s5tim5t ( inevitable necessity1 & 9 dim9i%+ ! vision ( my "m's grief by ! recollection ( ! psy*ological laws :i* gov]n consolations1 ,i %all arrive at a relatively calm /ate ( m9d4 ,c]ta9 s5t5ces ( y\rs w suffice = ?is1 t1 = example1 9 ! fif? *apt] ( ! second volume ( y\r 8,anatomy ( ! ,w10 :i* ,i "k by he>t3 8#8,! univ]sal int]weav+ ( ph5om5a causes ea* to be> ! weight ( all ! o!rs1 9 ! same way t ea* portion ( ! univ]se1 & at ea* mom5t1 may be consid]$ z a rsum ( all t has be51 ( all t is1 & ( all t w be4 ,x is 9 ?is s5se t x is p]missible to say t ! _w is et]nal 9 its detail z well z 9 its :ole4' 8,:at a s5t5ce1 & h[ x envelops1 z well z affirms & demon/rates ! idea t ev]y?+ is necess>y 9 & ar\nd u s9ce we too are a p>cel & a mom5t ( ?is et]nal _w6 ,alas6 :y is x t ?is idea :i* is s lucid :5 ,i reason1 z "o ought to reason1 ) my m9d1 & 9 :i* ,i acquiesce ) all ! /r5g? ( my be+1 _c ov]come 9 me a species ( suff]+ s peculi>1 :i* invades my he>t :5 ,i recall c]ta9 actions :i* ,i h will$1 & o!rs ( :i* ,i am ! au?or1 al?\gh indirectly1 9 ! drama ?r\gh :i* ,i h pass$8 8,to tell y all 9 a few words1 my de> ma/]1 ?\gh once m ,i say t ,i did n kill ,mlle4 de ,jussat1 ,i h be5 connect$ 9 ! close/ mann] ) ! drama ( h] poison+1 & ,i feel remorse1 al?\gh ! doctr9es 9 :i* ,i believe1 ! tru?s :i* ,i "k1 & ! convictions :i* =m ! ess5ce ( my intellect1 make me consid] remorse ! mo/ silly ( human illusions4 8,^! convictions are p[]less to procure me ! peace ( c]ta9ty1 :i* once 0 m9e4 ,i d\bt ) my he>t t :i* my m9d recognizes z tru?4 ,i d n ?9k t = a man ^: y\? 0 consum$ by intellectual passions1 !re c be a worse puni%m5t ?an ?is4 ,b :y try to int]pret by lit]>y phrases a m5tal condition :i* ,i wi% to expose to y 9 detail--to y ! great connoisseur 9 maladies ( ! m9d--9 ord] t y may give me ! only aid :i* c d me any good2 "s ^w :i* %all expla9 me to myself1 :i* %all atte/ to me t ,i am n a mon/]1 :i* %all su/a9 me 9 ! disord] ( my beliefs1 :i* %all prove to me t ,i h n be5 deceiv$ all ^! ye>s1 9 adh]+ to ! new fai? ) all ! en]gy ( a s9c]e be+4 8,inde$1 my de> ma/]1 ,i am v mis]able1 & ,i mu/ speak out all my mis]y4 ,to :om %all ,i address myself1 if n to y1 s9ce ,i %\ld h no hope ( be+ intelligible to any "o n famili> ) ! psy*ology 9 :i* ,i h be5 educat$4 8,s9ce com+ to ?is prison1 two mon?s ago1 ! mom5t ,i resolv$ to write to y has be5 ! only "o 9 :i* ,i h be5 :at ,i 0 be=e ^! t]rible ev5ts occurr$4 ,i _h tri$ to become absorb$ 9 "s "w ( an entirely ab/ract ord]1 b f\nd myself unable to ma/] x4 8,i h consid]$ only ?is = f\r days1 &1 ?anks to y1 ! p[] ( ?\ght has return$4 ,i h f\nd some?+ ( ! pleasure :i* 0 m9e :5 ,i wrote my fir/ essays1 9 resum+1 = ?is "w1 ! cold sev]ity ( my me?od--y\r me?od4 ,i wrote out ye/]day a plan ( ?is monograph ( my actual self1 9 practis+ ! division by p>agraphs :i* y h adopt$ 9 y\r works4 ,i h prov$ ! p]si/5t vigor ( my reflection 9 recon/ruct+ my life f its orig91 z ,i w\ld resolve a problem ( geometry by syn!sis4 8,i see di/9ctly at ! pres5t "t t ! crisis f :i* ,i suff] has = its factors1 fir/ my h]$ities1 !n ! m$ium ( ideas 9 :i* ,i 0 educat$1 f9ally ! m$ium ( facts into :i* ,i 0 transplant$ by my introduction among ! ,jussat-,r&ons4 ,! crisis itself & ! que/ions :i* x raises 9 my m9d %all be ! la/ fragm5ts ( a /udy :i* ,i %all /rip ( insignificant recollections1 to r$uce x to :at a ma/] ( our "t calls g5]atrices4 ,at lea/ ,i %all h furni%$ y an exact docum5t ^u ! modes ( feel+ :i* ,i =m]ly believ$ to be v preci\s & v r>e1 & ,i %all h prov$ to y 9 two ways1 fir/ by my confid5ce 9 y\r absolute discretion1 & second by my appeal = y\r philosophical support1 :at y h be5 to him :o writes ^! l9es1 & :o asks y\r p>don = ?is long preamble & beg9s at once 8 dissection40 ,i4 ,,my ,,h]$ities4 ,z f> back z ,i c rememb]1 ,i f9d t my dom9ant faculty1 ! "o t has be5 pres5t 9 e crisis ( my life1 great or small1 & :i* is pres5t to-day1 has be5 ! faculty1 ,i mean ! p[] & ! ne$ ( duplication4 ,!re h always be5 9 me1 z x 71 two di/9ct p]sons2 "o :o w5t1 came1 act$1 felt1 & ano!r :o look$ at ! fir/ g1 come1 act1 & feel ) an impassable curiosity4 ,at ?is v h\r & kn[+ t ,i am 9 prison1 accus$ ( a capital crime1 bla/$ 9 honor1 & ov]:elm$ 9 sadness1 kn[+ t x is ?is v ,i1 ,rob]t ,greslon1 born at ,cl]mont ! #e? ( ,septemb]1 #ahfe1 & n ano!r1 ,i ?9k ( ?is situation z a spectacle at :i* ,i am a /rang]4 ,is x ev5 exact to say ,i8 ,evid5tly n4 ,= my true self is1 prop]ly speak+1 nei!r ! "o :o suff]s n ! "o :o looks on4 ,x is made up ( bo?1 & ,i h _h a v cle> p]ception ( ?is duality1 al?\gh ,i 0 n !n capable ( compreh5d+ ?is psy*ological disposition exagg]at$ to an anomaly1 f my *ildhood1 ! *ildhood :i* ,i wi% to recall ) ! imp>tiality ( a dis9t]e/$ hi/orian4 ,my fir/ recollections are ( ! city ( ,cl]mont-,f]r&1 & ( a h\se :i* /ood on a prom5ade n[ v mu* *ang$ by ! rec5t con/ruction ( ! artill]y s*ool4 ,! h\se1 l all ! h\ses 9 ?is city1 0 built ( ,volvic /one1 a gray /one :i* d>k5s ) age1 & :i* gives to ! tortu\s /reets ! appe>ance ( a city ( ! middle ages4 ,my fa!r1 :o di$ :5 ,i 0 v "y1 0 ( ,lorra9e extraction4 ,he held at ,cl]mont ! position ( eng9e] ( roads & bridges4 ,he 0 a sl5d] man ( feeble heal?1 ) a face almo/ be>dless1 & m>k$ ) a melan*oly s]5ity :i* t\*$ me1 :5 ,i ?9k ( him1 aft] all ^! ye>s4 ,i see him aga9 9 8 /udy1 ?r\gh ^: w9d[s may be view$ ! imm5se pla9 ( ! ,limagne1 ) ! graceful em95ce ( ! ,puy de ,cr\l q ne>1 & 9 ! di/ance ! d>k l9e ( ! m\nta9s ( ,=ez4 ,! railway /ation 0 ne> our h\se1 & ! :i/l+ ( ! tra9s 0 con/antly he>d 9 ?is quiet /udy4 ,i us$ to sit on ! c>pet 9 ! corn] by ! fire1 play+ )\t mak+ any noise1 & ?is /rid5t call produc$ on my m9d a /range impression ( my/]y1 ( di/ance1 ( ! flight ( "t1 & ( life :i* endures to ! pres5t4 ,my fa!r trac$ ) 8 *alk ^u a blackbo>d enigmatic signs1 geometric figures or algebraic =mulas1 ) t cle>ness ( ! curves1 or ! lett]s :i* reveal$ ! habitual me?od ( 8 be+4 ,at o!r times he wrote1 /&+ at an ar*itect's table :i* he pref]r$ to 8 desk1 a table consi/+ simply ( a :ite wood bo>d plac$ on tre/les4 ,! l>ge books on ma!matics arrang$ ) ! mo/ m9ute c>e 9 ! bookcase1 & ! cold faces ( savants1 engrav$ 9 copp]plate & fram$ "u glass1 7 ! only objects ( art ) :i* ! walls 7 decorat$4 ,! clock :i* repres5t$ ! globe ( ! _w1 two a/ronomical maps :i* hung above ! desk1 & ^u ?is desk ! calculat+ rul] ) its figures & its copp] slide1 ! squ>e1 ! compass1 ! ,t rule4 ,i recall !m all1 at w1 ! smalle/ details ( ?is room ^: :ole atmosph]e 0 ?\ght1 & ^! images aid me to compreh5d h[ f my infancy ! dream ( a purely ideal & contemplative exi/5ce became elaborat$ 9 me1 favor$ by h]$ity4 ,my lat] reflections h %[n me1 9 sev]al traits ( my "*1 ! result transmitt$ "u =m ( in/9ct ( ! life ( ab/ract /udy t my fa!r l$4 ,i h1 = example1 always felt a s+ul> horror ( action1 s mu* s t1 mak+ a simple visit caus$ my he>t to pant & ! slighte/ physical ex]cise 0 intol]able to me1 su* z wre/l+ ) ano!r p]son2 ev5 to discuss my mo/ *]i%$ ideas appe>$ to me1 & /ill appe>s1 almo/ impossible4 ,?is dread ( action is expla9$ by ! excess ( bra9work :i*1 pu%$ too f>1 isolates man 9 ! mid/ ( ! realities :i* he h>dly endures1 because he is n habitually 9 contact ) !m4 ,i feel t ?is difficulty ( adapt+ myself to facts comes to me f ?is poor fa!r2 f him also comes ?is faculty ( g5]alization1 :i* is ! p[]1 b at ! same "t ! mania ( my m9d2 & x is also 8 "w t a morbid pr$om9ance ( ! n]v\s sy/em has r5d]$ my w s wild at c]ta9 times4 ,my fa!r1 :o 0 /ill "y :5 he di$1 _h nev] be5 robu/4 ,he 0 oblig$ at ! gr[+ age to und]go ! trial ( prep>ation = ! ,polyte*nic ,s*ool :i* is ru9\s to ! s\nde/ heal?4 ,) n>r[ %\ld]s & ) limbs weak5$ by long sitt+s at s$5t>y m$itations1 ?is savant ) transp>5t h&s seem$ to h 9 8 ve9s1 in/ead ( r$ globules ( g5]\s blood1 a little ( ! du/ ( ! *alk :i* he h&l$ s mu*4 ,he did n transmit to me muscles capable ( c\nt]balanc+ ! excitability ( my n]ves1 s t ) ?is faculty ( ab/raction1 ,i owe to him a k9d ( ungov]nable intemp]ance ( desire4 ,e "t t ,i h ard5tly wi%$ = any?+ x has be5 impossible to repress ?is covet\sness4 ,?is is a hypo!sis :i* has (t5 come to me :5 ,i h be5 analyz+ myself1 t ab/ract natures are m incapable ?an o!rs ( resi/+ passion1 :5 passion is ar\s$1 p]haps because ! daily relation betwe5 action & ?\ght is brok5 9 !m4 ,fanatics w\ld be ! mo/ signal pro(s ( ?is4 ,i h se5 my fa!r1 usually s pati5t & g5tle1 s ov]come by ! viol5ce ( ang] z almo/ to fa9t4 ,9 ?is ,i am also 8 son1 & ?r\gh him ! desc5dant ( a gr&fa!r z ill-balanc$1 a sort ( primitive g5ius1 :o1 half-peasant1 _h ris5 by =ce ( me*anical inv5tions to be a civil eng9e]1 & 0 !n ru9$ by lawsuits4 ,on ?is side ( my race !re has always be5 a dang]\s elem5t1 some?+ wild1 at times1 by ! side ( con/ant intellectuality4 ,i =m]ly consid]$ ?is d\ble nature a sup]ior condition2 ! possible ardor ( passion jo9$ ) ?is cont9u\s en]gy ( ab/ract ?\ght4 ,x 0 my dream to be at ! same "t fr5zi$ & lucid1 ! subject & ! object1 z ! ,g]mans say1 ( my analysis2 ! subject :o /udies himself & f9ds 9 ?is /udy a means ( exaltation & ( sci5tific developm5t4 ,alas6 ,:i!r has ?y *im]a l$ me8 ,b x is n ! "t to speak ( effects1 we are /ill ) ! causes4 ,among ! circum/ances :i* affect$ me dur+ my *ildhood1 ,i believe ! foll[+ to be "o ( ! mo/ important3 ,e ,sunday morn+1 & z soon z ,i c\ld read1 my "m took me ) h] to mass4 ,?is mass 0 celebrat$ at eight o'clock 9 ! ,*ur* ( ! ,capu*9s rec5tly built on a b\lev>d %ad$ by ,plantanes :i* l$ f ,sablon ,c\rt to ,laureau ,squ>e1 along ! ,j>d9 des ,plantes4 ,at ! door ( ! *ur*1 !re us$ to sit1 9 front ( a portable %op1 a cake sell] call$ ,"m ,gir>d1 ) :om ,i 0 well acqua9t$1 = ,i _h b\ght ( h] little bun*es ( *]ries 9 ! spr+4 ,?is 0 ! fir/ fruit ( ! season t ,i might eat4 ,?is da9ty1 acid & fre%1 0 "o ( ! s5sualities ( ^! days ( *ildhood1 & any "o :o _h obs]v$ me1 might h se5 ?is fr5zy ( desire ( :i* ,i h spok54 ,i 0 almo/ 9 a fev] :5 on my way to ?is %op4 ,?is 0 n ! only reason :y ,i pref]r$ ! ,*ur* ( ! ,capu*9s ) its extremely pla9 ar*itecture1 to ! subt]ranean crypts ( ,notre-,dame-du-,port & to ! vaults ( ! ca!dral upheld by x elegant clu/]$ columns4 ,at ! ,capu*9s ! *oir 0 clos$4 ,dur+ ! (fices1 invisible m\?s beh9d ! grat+ *ant$ ! canticles1 :i* /rangely effect$ my *ildi% imag9ation2 !y seem$ to me to come f s f> (f1 an abyss or a tomb4 ,i look$ at my "m pray+ beside me ) ! f]vor :i* 0 %[n 9 h] smalle/ actions1 & ,i ?\ght t my fa!r 0 n !re1 t he nev] came to *ur*4 ,my *ild's bra9 0 s puzzl$ by ?is abs5ce1 t1 "o day1 ,i ask$3 8,:y does n papa come to mass ) u80 ,my inquir+ *ild's eyes _h no tr\ble to see ! emb>rassm5t into :i* ?is "q ?rew my "m4 ,%e )drew f x1 h[ev]1 by an answ] analog\s to hundr$s ( o!rs :i* a woman s ess5tially enamor$ ( fix$ pr9ciples & ( ob$i5ce has s9ce giv5 me4 8,he goes to ano!r mass1 at an h\r :i* suits him bett]1 & !n ,i h already told y t *ildr5 ought nev] to ask :y _! p>5ts d ?is or t40 ,all ! diff]5ce ( m9d :i* sep>at$ my "m & myself is f\nd 9 ?is s5t5ce1 utt]$ "o cold morn+ 9 w9t]1 :ile walk+ "u ! trees ( ,sablon ,c\rt4 ,i c see h] n[ 9 h] pel]9e1 h] h&s 9 h] muff l9$ ) br[n silk f :i* h] book came halfway out1 & ! s9c]ity ( h] face ev5 9 h] pi\s falsehood4 ,i c see h] eyes1 :i* s _m times s9ce h reg>d$ me ) a look :i* did n compreh5d me1 & at ?is p]iod %e did n suspect t = my m$itative *ildi% nature to ?9k1 0 already to ask1 always & 9 relation to ev]y?+2 :y8 ,yes1 :y _h my "m deceiv$ me8 ,= ,i knew t my fa!r w5t to no k9d ( (fice4 ,& :y did he n g8 ,:ile ! grave & sad voices ( ! conceal$ monks 7 inton+ ! responses ( ! mass1 ,i 0 absorb$ 9 ?is "q4 ,i knew )\t be+ able to appreciate ! reasons ( ! sup]iority t my fa!r 0 acc\nt$ among ! fir/ ( ! city4 ,h[ _m times 9 walk+ 7 we /opp$ by "s fri5d1 :o tapp+ me on ! *eek w\ld say3 8,well1 w we get to be a great savant l ! fa!r "s day80 ,:5 my "m took 8 advice1 %e li/5$ ) ! greate/ respect4 ,%e ?\ght x natural t he did n p]=m c]ta9 duties :i*1 = u1 7 obligatory4 ,we _h n ! same duties4 ,?is idea 0 n =mulat$ !n 9 my *ildi% bra9 ) ?is positive di/9ctness1 b x develop$ !re ! g]m ( t :i* lat] became "o ( ! convictions ( my y\?--to "k t ! same rules d n gov]n intellectual m9ds t control o!r m54 ,x 0 !re 9 t little *ur*1 quietly b5d+ ov] my pray] book1 t ! great pr9ciple ( my life _h bir?1 n to consid] z a law = ?9k+ m5 t :i* is & ought to be a law = o!rs--j z ,i receiv$ f ! conv]sations ) my fa!r1 dur+ our excursions1 ! fir/ g]ms ( my sci5tific view ( ! _w4 ,! c\ntry ar\nd ,cl]mont is m>vel\s1 & al?\gh ,i am ! rev]se ( poetical1 a man = :om ! ext]nal _w means v little1 ,i h always reta9$ 9 my memory ! pictures ( ! l&scapes :i* surr\nd$ ^! walks4 ,:ile ! city on "o side looks t[>d ! pla9 ( ! ,limagne1 on ! o!r x /&s on ! foo?ills ( ! ,dme ,m\nta9s4 ,! slope ( ! ext9ct crat]s1 ! undulations caus$ by old eruptions & ! /reams ( h>d5$ lava give to ! outl9es ( ^! volcanic m\nta9s a resemblance to ! l&scapes 9 ! moon z discov]$ by ! telescope 9 t dead planet4 ,on "o side is ! savage & sublime memorial ( ! mo/ t]rible convulsions ( ! globe1 & on ! o!r ! prettie/ ru/icity ( /ony roads among ! v9ey>ds1 ( murmur+ brooks "u ! will[s & *e/nuts4 ,! great pleasures ( my *ildhood 7 ! int]m9able w&]+s ) my fa!r 9 all ! pa?s :i* lead f ! ,puy de ,cr\l to ,g]govie1 f ,royat to ,durtol1 f ,beaumont to ,grav5oire4 ,simply 9 writ+ ^! names1 my memory rejuv5ates my he>t4 ,i see myself aga9 ! little boy1 :om a portrait repres5ts ) long hair1 ) 8 legs 9 clo? legg+s1 :o walks along hold+ 8 fa!r's h&4 ,:5ce came ?is love = ! fields to him1 ! le>n$ ma!matician1 ! man ( /udy & ( reflection8 ,i h (t5 ?\ght ( x s9ce1 & ,i believe ,i h discov]$ a law ( ! developm5t ( m9d2--our y\?ful ta/es p]si/ ev5 :5 we are develop$ 9 a s5se contr>y to !m1 & we cont9ue to ex]cise ^! ta/es :ile ju/ify+ !m by intellectual reasons :i* w\ld exclude su* ?+s4 ,i w expla94 ,my fa!r naturally lov$ ! c\ntry because he 0 br\ght up 9 a village1 & :5 he 0 small _h pass$ :ole days on ! banks ( ! brooks among ! insects & ! fl[]s4 ,in/ead ( yield+ to ^! ta/es 9 a simple mann]1 he m+l$ !m ) 8 pres5t occupations4 ,he w\ld n h p>don$ himself = go+ to ! m\nta9s )\t /udy+ !re ! =mation ( ! l&2 = look+ at a fl[] )\t det]m9+ its "* & discov]+ its "n2 = tak+ up an insect )\t recall+ its family & its habits4 ,?anks to ! rigor ( 8 me?od 9 all "w he arriv$ at a v complete k ( ! c\ntry2 &1 :5 we walk$ toge!r1 ?is k 0 ! sole subject ( our conv]sation4 ,! l&scape ( ! m\nta9s became a pretext = expla9+ to me ! revolutions ( ! e>?2 he pass$ f t ) a cle>ness ( spee* :i* made su* ideas intelligible to me1 to ! hypo!sis ( ,laplace ^u nebula1 & ,i saw di/9ctly 9 my imag9ation ! planet>y protub]ances fly+ (f f ! burn+ nucleus1 f ?is torrid sun 9 rotation4 ,! heav5s at night 9 ! beautiful summ] mon?s became a k9d ( map :i* he deciph]$ = me1 & on :i* ,i di/+ui%$ ! ,pole ,/>1 ! sev5 />s ( ! ,*>iot1 ,vega ( ! ,lyre1 ,sirius1 all ^? inaccessible & =midable worlds ( :i* sci5ce kn[s ! volume1 ! position & almo/ ! v metals ( :i* !y are compos$4 ,x 0 ! same ) ! fl[]s :i* he taught me to arrange 9 an h]b>ium1 ) ! /ones :i* ,i broke ) a little iron hamm]1 ) ! insects :i* ,i f$ or p9n$ up1 z ! case might be4 ,long be=e object lessons 7 practic$ 9 ! college my fa!r appli$ to my education fir/ ?is great maxim3 8,give a sci5tific acc\nt ( any?+ we may enc\nt]40 ,?us reconcil+ ! pleasantry ( 8 fir/ impressions ) ! precision acquir$ 9 8 ma!matical /udies4 ,i attribute to ?is tea*+ ! precoci\s _s ( analysis :i* 0 develop$ 9 me dur+ my e>ly y\?1 & :i*1 )\t d\bt1 w\ld h turn$ t[>d ! positive /udies if my fa!r _h liv$4 ,b he c\ld n complete ?is education1 und]tak5 aft] a prep>$ plan ( :i* ,i h s9ce f\nd trace among 8 pap]s4 ,9 ! c\rse ( "o ( our walks1 & on "o ( ! w>me/ days ( summ]1 9 my t5? ye>1 we 7 ov]tak5 by a /orm :i* wet u to ! bones4 ,dur+ ! "t t x requir$ to rea* home 9 our soak$ clo!s my fa!r took cold4 ,9 ! ev5+ he compla9$ ( a *ill4 ,two days aft] an inflammation ( ! lungs decl>$ itself1 & ! week foll[+ he di$4 ,z ,i wi%1 9 ?is summ>y indication ( div]se causes :i* =m$ my m9d1 to avoid at any co/ t :i* ,i hate mo/ ( any?+ 9 ! _w1 ! display ( subjective s5tim5tality1 ,i w n rec\nt to y1 my de> ma/]1 any fur!r details ( ?is dea?4 ,!y 7 he>tr5d+1 b ,i felt _! sadness only 9 a f>-(f way1 & t lat]4 ,i recollect1 ?\gh ,i 0 a l>ge & rem>kably develop$ boy1 to h felt m wond] ?an sorr[4 ,x is n[ t ,i truly regret my fa!r--t ,i compreh5d :at ,i lo/ 9 los+ him4 ,i believe y h se5 exactly :at ,i owe to him2 ! ta/e & ! facility = ab/raction1 ! love ( ! intellectual life1 fai? 9 sci5ce & ! precoci\s managem5t ( me?od--^! = ! m9d2 = ! "*1 ! fir/ div9ation ( ! pride ( intellect1 & also an elem5t slightly morbid1 ?is difficulty ( action :i* has z its consequ5ce ! difficulty 9 resi/+ ! passions :5 "o is tempt$4 ,i wi% also to m>k di/9ctly :at ,i owe to my "m4 ,& f ! fir/ ,i p]ceive ?is fact t ?is second influ5ce acts ^u me by reaction1 :ile ! fir/ _h act$ directly4 ,to speak truly1 ?is reaction only began :5 %e became a wid[ & wi%$ to direct my education4 ,until !n %e _h entirely giv5 me up to my fa!r4 ,x may seem /range t1 alone 9 ! _w1 %e & ,i1 %e s en]getic1 s devot$1 & ,i s "y1 we did n live1 at lea/ dur+ ^? ye>s1 9 p]fect communion ( he>t4 ,!re exi/s 9 fact1 a rudim5t>y psy*ology = :i* ^! words--"m & son--are synonyms ( absolute t5d]ness1 ( p]fect agreem5t ( s\l4 ,p]haps x is s 9 ! families ( anci5t tradition1 al?\gh 9 human nature ,i believe v little 9 ! exi/5ce ( entire sympa?y betwe5 p]sons ( diff]5t ages & sexes4 ,9 any case1 mod]n families pres5t "u conv5tional etiquette ! mo/ cruel ph5om5a ( secret divorce1 ( complete misund]/&+1 sometimes ( hate1 :i* are too well und]/ood :5 we ?9k ( _! orig94 ,!y come f ! mixture = a hundr$ ye>s ( prov9ce ) prov9ce1 race ) race1 :i* has *>g$ ! blood ( ne>ly all ( u ) h]$it>y opposites4 ,s p f9d !mselves nom9ally ( ! same family :o h n a common trait ei!r 9 _! moral or m5tal /ructures2 consequ5tly ! daily intimacy betwe5 p]sons becomes a cause ( daily conflicts or ( con/ant dissimulation4 ,my "m & ,i are an example ( x :i* ,i w\ld qualify z excell5t1 if ! pleasure ( f9d+ v cle> pro( ( a psy*ologic law 0 n accompani$ by ke5 regret at hav+ be5 its victims4 ,my fa!r1 ,i h told y1 0 an old pupil ( ! ,polyte*nic ,s*ool & ! son ( a civil eng9e]4 ,i h also said he 0 ( ,lorra9e race4 ,!re is a prov]b :i* says3 8,lorra9e traitor to its k+ & ev5 to ,god40 ,?is epigram expresses 9 a unique =m ! idea t !re is some?+ complex 9 ! m9d ( ?is fronti] population4 ,! p ( ,lorra9e h always liv$ on ! bord] ( two races & ( two exi/5ces1 ! ,g]man & ! ,fr5*4 ,:at is ?is disposition to trea*]y if n ! depravity ( ano!r ta/e1 admirable f ! intellectual po9t ( view1 t ( s5tim5tal complication8 ,= my "p1 ,i attribute to ?is atavism ! p[] ( d\bl+ ( :i* ,i spoke at ! beg9n+ ( ?is analysis4 ,i ought to add t1 :5 ,i 0 a *ild1 ,i (t5 felt a /range pleasure 9 dis9t]e/$ simulation :i* proce$$ f ! same pr9ciple4 ,i rec\nt$ to my comrades all sorts ( inexact details conc]n+ myself1 ab\t my place ( bir?1 my fa!r's bir?place1 ab\t a walk :i* ,i 0 int5d+ to take1 & ?is n to boa/1 b simply to be "s "o else4 ,i f\nd s+ul> pleasure lat] 9 advanc+ op9ions ! mo/ oppos$ to ^? :i* ,i consid]$ ! true ones f ! same biz>re motive4 ,to play a rle diff]5t f my true nature appe>$ to me an enri*m5t ( my p]son1 s /rong 0 ! in/9ct to resolve myself into a "*1 a belief1 a passion4 ,my "m is a woman ( ! ,s\?1 absolutely rebelli\s aga9/ all complexity1 to :om ideas ( ?+s alone are intelligible4 ,9 h] imag9ation ! =ms ( life are reproduc$ concrete1 precise & simple4 ,:5 %e ?9ks ( religion1 %e sees h] *ur*1 h] confessional1 ! communion clo?1 ! few prie/s :om %e has kn[n1 ! cate*ism 9 :i* %e /udi$4 ,:5 %e ?9ks ( a c>e]1 %e sees positive activity & b5efits4 ,! pr(essorate1 = example1 :i* %e desir$ me to ent]1 0 = h] ,m4 ,limasset1 ! pr(essor ( ma!matics1 ! fri5d ( my fa!r1 & %e saw me1 l him1 go+ across ! city twice a day 9 an alpaca coat & ,panama hat 9 summ]1 & my feet protect$ 9 w9t] by clogs1 & my body 9 a furr$ ov]coat1 ) a fix$ sal>y1 ! p]quisites ( private tuition & ! sweet assurance ( a p5sion4 ,i h be5 able by /udy+ h] to le>n h[ completely ?is ord] ( imag9ation r5d]s ^? :om x gov]ns incapable ( compreh5d+ o!r s\ls4 ,x is (t5 said ( su* p t !y are despotic & p]sonal1 or t !y h bad *>act]s4 ,9 reality1 !y are be=e ^? ) :om !y associate l a *ild be=e a wat*4 ,he sees ! h&s move1 he kn[s no?+ ( ! :eels :i* make !m move4 ,s :5 ^! h&s d n g to suit 8 fancy !re is ! /upidity ( impati5ce to =ce !m & to w>p ! spr+s4 ,my poor "m 0 l ?is ) me1 & t f ! week :i* foll[$ our tr\ble4 ,i felt almo/ imm$iately an indef9able discom=t 9 h] pres5ce4 ,! fir/ circum/ance :i* enlight5$ me 9 reg>d to ?is sep>ation :i* _h begun betwe5 u1 s f> z my *ildi% m9d c\ld be enlight5$1 dates f an aft]noon ( autumn1 ne>ly f\r mon?s aft] my fa!r's dea?4 ,! impression receiv$ 0 s /rong t ,i recall x z if x _h happ5$ ye/]day4 ,we _h *ang$ ap>tm5ts1 & _h r5t$ ! ?ird floor ( a h\se 9 ! ,rue ,bill>d1 a n>r[ lane :i* di/orts ! %ad[s ( ,des ,petits-,abres1 9 front ( ! palace ( ! ,prefecture4 ,my "m _h *os5 x because !re 0 a balcony 9 :i* ,i 0 play+ on ?is beautiful aft]noon4 ,my play--y w "h recognize ! sci5tific turn giv5 by my fa!r to my imag9ation--consi/$ 9 tak+ a pebble1 :i* repres5t$ a great explor]1 f "o end ( ! balcony to ! o!r1 & among o!r /ones :i* ,i _h tak5 f ! fl[] pots4 ,"s ( ^! /ones repres5t$ cities1 o!rs curi\s animals ( :i* ,i _h read descriptions4 ,"o ( ! p>lor w9d[s op5$ on ! balcony4 ,x 0 p>tly op51 & my play hav+ l$ me ?i!r ,i he>d my "m talk+ to a visitor4 ,i c\ld n help li/5+ ) t beat+ ( ! he>t :i* ! he>+ my p]sonality discuss$ has always produc$4 ,i le>n$ aft]w>d t betwe5 our real nature & ! impression produc$ on our relations1 & ev5 on our fri5ds1 !re is no m simil>ity ?an !re is betwe5 ! exact color ( ! face & its reflection 9 a blue1 gre51 or yell[ glass4 8,p]haps10 said ! visitor1 8y are mi/ak5 9 reg>d to poor ,rob]t1 at t5 ye>s ! "* is n at all =m$40 8,god grant t x may be s10 repli$ my "m1 8b ,i am afraid he has no he>t4 ,y _c imag9e h[ h>d he has be5 s9ce 8 fa!r's dea?4 ,! next day ev5 he seem$ to h =gott5 all ab\t x4 ,& he has nev] said a ^w s9ce--su* a ^w z makes y feel t "o is ?9k+ ( ano!r y n[4 ,:5 ,i speak to him ( 8 fa!r1 he h>dly answ]s me4 ,y w\ld ?9k he _h nev] kn[n ! man :o 0 s good to him40 ,i h read some:]e t :5 ,m]ime 0 q a *ild he 0 "o day scold$ by 8 "m & !n s5t out ( ! room4 ,he 0 sc>cely gone :5 8 "m bur/ out laugh+4 ,! *ild he>d ! laugh :i* %[$ him t ! irritation _h be5 feign$1 & he felt a feel+ ( di/ru/ rise 9 8 he>t :i* always rema9$4 ,?is anecdote impress$ me v /rongly4 ,! impression ( ! celebrat$ writ] (f]$ a />tl+ analogy ) ! effect :i* ?is fragm5t ( conv]sation produc$ ^u me4 ,x 0 v true t ,i nev] spoke ( my fa!r1 b h[ false t ,i _h =gott5 him6 ,on ! contr>y1 ,i ?\ght ( him con/antly4 ,i nev] walk$ along ! /reet1 ,i c\ld n look at any piece ( our furniture )\t ! remembrance ( 8 dea? tak+ su* possession ( me t ,i 0 almo/ ill4 ,b ) ?is 0 m+l$ a fe>ful a/oni%m5t t he _h gone =ev]1 & x 0 all conf\nd$ 9 a k9d ( anxi\s appreh5sion1 :i* clos$ my m\? :5 any "o talk$ ) me ab\t him4 ,i "k n[ t my "m c\ld h kn[n no?+ ( ! work+s ( my m9d4 ,b1 at t "t1 z ,i he>d h] ?us condemn my he>t1 ,i exp]i5c$ a pr(\nd humiliation4 ,x seem$ to me t %e 0 n act+ t[>d me z x %\ld be h] duty to act4 ,i felt t %e 0 unju/1 & because ,i 0 timid1 be+ /ill a "y boy & %y1 ,i became irritat$ at h] inju/ice1 in/ead ( try+ to tell h] h[ ,i felt4 ,f t mom5t x became impossible = me to %[ myself to h] z ,i 04 ,& :5ev] h] eyes s\ght m9e to le>n my emotions ,i felt an irresi/ible desire to conceal f h] my inmo/ be+4 ,t 0 ! fir/ sc5e--if any?+ s insignificant c be dignifi$ by s big a "n--foll[$ by a second :i* ,i w notice 9 spite ( its app>5t unimportance4 ,*ildr5 w\ld n be *ildr5 if ! ev5ts important to _! s5sibility 7 n pu]ile4 ,i 01 at ?is p]iod1 already passionately fond ( read+1 & *ance _h put into my h&s a v diff]5t k9d ( books f ^? :i* are giv5 z prizes at s*ool4 ,x 0 ?is way3 al?\gh my fa!r z a ma!matician knew little ( g5]al lit]ature1 he lov$ a few au?ors :om he und]/ood 9 8 way2 & :5 aft]w>d ,i f\nd "s ( 8 notes on ^! au?ors1 ,i le>n$ to appreciate ! degree to :i* ! feel+ = lit]ature is a p]sonal1 irr$ucible1 incomm5surable ?+ to borr[ a ^w f 8 favorite sci5ce !re is no common measure betwe5 ! reasons = :i* two m9ds l or dislike ! same writ]4 ,among o!r works my fa!r own$ a translation ( ,%akespe>e 9 two volumes1 :i* !y put on my *air to raise my seat at table4 ,!y left me )\t ?9k+ h[ ^! volumes illu/rat$ by engrav+s w\ld v soon incite my curiosity to read ! text4 ,!re 0 a ,lady ,macbe? rubb+ h] h&s 9 pres5ce ( a fright5$ physician & a s]vant1 & ,o!llo ent]+ ,desdemona's *amb] ) a poni>d 9 8 h&1 & b5d+ 8 black face t[>d ! :ite1 sleep+ =m1 a ,k+ ,le> te>+ 8 clo?+ "u ! zigzags ( ! lightn+1 a ,ri*>d ,,iii4 asleep 9 8 t5t & surr\nd$ by spect]s4 ,f ! accompany+ text ,i read1 be=e my t5? ye>1 fragm5ts :i* made me famili> ) all ^! dramas :i* exalt$ my imag9ation1 9 s f> z ,i c\ld seize ! mean+ ( !m1 )\t d\bt because !y 7 writt5 = popul> audi5ces1 & admit an elem5t ( primitive poetry1 & an infant9e exagg]ation4 ,i lov$ ^! k+s1 :o1 joy\s or despair+1 defil$ pa/ at ! head ( _! armies1 :o lo/ or ga9$ battles 9 a few m9utes1 ,i enjoy$ ?is slaught] accompani$ by a fl\ri% ( trumpets beh9d ! sc5es1 ! rapid passages f "o c\ntry to ano!r1 & ! *im]ical geography4 ,9 brief1 :atev] !re is 9 ^! dramas & especially 9 ! *ronicles t is v mu* abridg$1 almo/ rudim5t>y1 s *>m$ me1 t :5 ,i 0 alone ,i play$ ) ! *airs1 imag9+ !m to be ,lanca/]1 ,w>wick1 or ,gl\ce/]4 ,my fa!r1 :o _h an extreme repugnance to ! tr\blesome realities ( life1 reli%$ 9 ,%akespe>e t :i* is simple & t\*+1 ! pr(iles ( wom5 s delicately drawn2 ,imog5e & ,desdemona1 ,cordelia & ,rosal9d pleas$ him1 ?\gh ! comp>ison may seem /range1 = ! same reason t he enjoy$ ! romances ( ,dick5s1 ,topff] & ev5 ! *ild's play ( ,florian & ,b]qu94 ,"h we may see ! contra/s :i* prove ! incoh]5ce ( arti/ic judgm5ts :i* are f\nd$ ^u s5tim5tal impression4 ,i also read all ^! books1 & ^? ( ,walt] ,scott1 z well z ! rural tales ( ,george ,s&1 9 an illu/rat$ edition4 ,x w\ld c]ta9ly h be5 bett] = me n to h n\ri%$ my imag9ation on elem5ts s incongru\s & sometimes dang]\s4 ,b at my age ,i c\ld n und]/& m ?an a qu>t] ( ! s5t5ces1 & :ile my fa!r 0 toil+ at 8 blackbo>d1 comb9+ 8 =mulas1 ,i believe t ! lightn+ might h /ruck ! h\se )\t 8 kn[+ x1 c>ri$ away z he 0 by ! all-p[]ful demon ( ab/raction4 ,my "m1 to :om ?is demon is z mu* a /rang] z ! bea/ ( ! ,apocalypse1 did n wait long1 aft] ! fir/ h\rs ( our tr\ble _h pass$1 be=e %e rummag$ ! room 9 :i* ,i /udi$2 &1 "u an ex]cise1 %e discov]$ a l>ge1 op5 book--,scott's 8,ivanhoe40 8,:at book is ?is80 %e ask$1 8:o p]mitt$ y to take x80 8,b ,i h read x once already10 ,i repli$4 8,& ^!80 %e cont9u$1 9 look+ ov] ! little libr>y :]e by ! side ( s*oolbooks1 71 beside ! ,%akespe>e1 ! 8,n\velles ,gnevoises0 & 8,ni*olas ,nickleby10 8,rob ,boy0 & 8,la ,m>e au ,diable40 8,^! are n suitable = a p]son ( y\r age10 %e insi/$1 8& y may help me c>ry all ^! books into ! p>lor1 & put !m 9 y\r fa!r's libr>y40 ,s ,i c>ri$ !m1 ?ree at a "t1 "s almo/ too heavy = my small arms1 into ! cool room furni%$ 9 hairclo?4 ,) h] :ite h&s 9 _! black mitts1 %e took ! books & arrang$ !m alongside ( ! big treatises on ma!matics4 ,%e clos$ ! glass door ( ! bookcase1 lock$ x1 & put ! key on ! r+ ) o!rs1 :i* %e always c>ri$ ) h]4 ,!n %e add$ sev]ely3 8,:5 y wi% a book y may ask me = x40 ,i ask h] = "o ( ^? books1 b :i* "o8 ,i knew s well t %e w\ld refuse me all ^? :i* ,i _h any desire to read6 ,i h already %[n too pla9ly t we did n ?9k alike on any po9t4 ,i compla9 ( h] hav+ put a /op to my livelie/ pleasure1 less p]haps because ( ! prohibition ?an = ! reason %e gave4 ,= %e believ$ x to be h] duty to repeat ! phrases on ! dang] ( romances1 no d\bt borr[$ f "s manual ( piety1 :i* appe>$ to me to express exactly ! contr>y to t :i* ,i _h exp]i5c$4 ,%e made ! dang] ,i _h run 9 ?is indiscrim9ate read+ ! pretext = occupy+ h]self m closely ) my /udies & direct+ my education4 ,?is 0 h] duty1 b ! contra/ 0 too great betwe5 ! ideas into :i* my fa!r _h precoci\sly initiat$ me & ! pov]ty ( h] m9d1 :i* 0 furni%$ ) impressions positive1 mean1 & almo/ vulg>4 ,i w5t to walk ) h] n[1 & %e talk$ ) me4 ,h] conv]sation 0 conf9$ to my be>+1 my mann]s1 my little comrades1 & _! p>5ts4 ,my intellect1 :i* _h be5 too e>ly tra9$ 9 ! pleasure ( ?\ght1 felt /ifl$ & oppress$4 ,! motionless l&scape ( ext9ct volcanoes recall$ to me ! gr& convulsions ( ! t]re/rial drama :i* my fa!r =m]ly trac$4 ,! fl[]s :i* ,i pluck$ my "m w\ld hold = a few m9utes1 & !n let fall almo/ )\t look+ at !m4 ,%e 0 ignorant ( _! names1 z %e 0 ( ^? ( ! insects :i* %e compell$ me to ?r[ d[n z soon z ,i _h pick$ !m up1 say+ !y 7 unclean & v5om\s4 ,! roads among ! v9es no long] l$ to ! discov]y ( ! va/ _w to :i* ! g5ial ^w ( ! dead _h invit$ me4 ,!y 7 simply a cont9uation ( ! /reets ( ! city & ! mis]y ( daily c>es4 ,i seek 9 va9 = suitable words to express ! vague & s+ul> ennui ( a mutilat$ m9d1 ( a r>efi$ atmosph]e :i* ^! walks inflict$ on me4 ,language 0 creat$ by m5 to express ! ideas ( m54 ,! t]ms are lack+ :i* correspond to ! incomplete p]ceptions ( *ildr51 to _! p5umbra ( s\l4 ,h[ c ,i tell ! suff]+1 :i* ,i did n myself compreh5d1 ( a m9d 9 :i* 7 f]m5t+ high & broad conceptions1 ( a bra9 ^u ! bord] ( ! great intellectual horizon1 & :i* _h to submit to ! unconsci\s tyranny ( ano!r bra91 n>r[ & weak1 a /rang] to all g5]al ideas1 to e view ei!r ample or pr(\nd8 ,n[ t ,i h pass$ ?r\gh ?is p]iod ( repress$ & ?w>t$ y\?1 ,i int]pret ! smalle/ episodes by ! laws ( ! con/itution ( m9d1 & ,i take into acc\nt t fate1 9 confid+ ! education ( su* a *ild z ,i 0 to ! woman :o 0 my "m1 _h associat$ two =ms ( ?\ght z irr$ucible ! "o to ! o!r z two diff]5t species4 ,^! details1 9 :i* ,i f9d ! pro( ( ?is con/itutive anti!sis betwe5 our two natures1 come to me by ?\s&s4 ,i h said en\gh on ?is po9t s t ,i may cont5t myself by not+ ) precision ! result ( ?is sil5t collision ( our m9ds1 & to borr[ =mulas 9 ! philosophic /yle1 ,i believe1 t by ?is wrong education1 two g]ms 7 prep>$ 9 me3 ! g]m ( a s5tim5t & ! g]m ( a faculty2 ! s5tim5t 0 t ( ! solitude ( ! individual1 ! faculty t ( int]nal analysis4 ,i h said t 9 ! ord] ( s5sibility z 9 t ( ?\ght1 ,i _h almo/ imm$iately felt t ,i c\ld n %[ myself to my "m z ,i 04 ,i ?us le>n$1 ?\gh ,i 0 sc>cely born into ! intellectual life t !re is 9 u an obscure incommunicable elem5t4 ,?is 0 9 my case a timidity at fir/--!n x grew into a pride4 ,b h n all =ms ( pride a common orig98 ,n to d>e to %[ ourselves is to become isolat$2 & to become isolat$ is v soon to pref] "o's self4 ,i h s9ce f\nd1 9 "s rec5t philosoph]s1 ,m4 ,r5an1 = example1 ?is s5tim5t ( ! solitude ( ! s\l1 b x 0 trans=m$ into a triumphant & transc5d5tal disda92 ,i h f\nd x *ang$ into disease & b>r5ness 9 ! ,adolphe ( ,b5jam9 ,con/ant1 aggressive & ironical 9 ,beyle4 ,9 ! poor little collegian ( a prov9cial lyceum1 :o trott$ ?r\gh ! slipp]y /reets ( 8 m\nta9 t[n 9 w9t]1 ) 8 c>table "u 8 arm & 8 feet 9 galo%es1 x 0 only an obscure & pa9ful in/9ct2 b ?is in/9ct1 aft] be+ appli$ to my "m1 grew m & m apply+ itself to my comrades & to my ma/]s4 ,i felt t ,i 0 diff]5t f !m ) ?is diff]5ce3 ,i believ$ t ,i und]/ood !m p]fectly & t !y did n und]/& me4 ,reflection has taught me t ,i did n und]/& !m any bett] ?an !y und]/ood me2 b ,i also see n[ t !re 0 really ?is diff]5ce betwe5 u1 t !y accept$ _! p]son & m9e simply1 purely1 bravely1 :ile ,i _h already begun to complicate myself by ?9k+ too mu* ( myself4 ,if ,i _h v e>ly felt t1 contr>y to ! ^w ( ,*ri/1 ,i _h no neighbor1 x 0 because ,i _h begun v e>ly to exasp]ate ! consci\sness ( my own s\l1 & consequ5tly to mate ( myself an exemplaire1 )\t analogy1 ( excessive individual s5sibility4 ,my fa!r _h end[$ me ) a premature curiosity ( m9d4 ,z he 0 n !re to direct me t[>d ! _w ( positive k1 ?is curiosity fell back ^u myself4 ,! m9d is a liv+ creature1 & z ) all o!r creatures1 e p[] is accompani$ by a want4 ,x w\ld be necess>y to rev]se ! old prov]b & say3 ,to be able is to wi%4 ,a faculty 9 u always leads to ! wi% to ex]cise x4 ,m5tal h]$it>y & my e>ly education made an intellectual be+ ( me be=e my "t4 ,i cont9u$ to be su* a be+1 b all my intellect 0 appli$ to my own emotions4 ,i became an absolute egoi/ ) an extraord9>y en]gy ( disda9 ) reg>d to ev]yone else4 ,^! traits ( my "* appe>$ lat] "u ! influ5ce ( ! crises ( ideas ?\gh :i* ,i h pass$ & ( :i* ,i owe y ! hi/ory4 ,,ii4 ,,! ,,m$ium ,,( ,,ideas4 ,! div]se influ5ces :i* ,i h j r ab/ractly summ>iz$1 b 9 t]ms :i* y w und]/&1 my de> ma/]1 _h fir/ ?is unexpect$ result1 to make ( me a v pi\s *ild1 betwe5 my elev5? & my fifte5? ye>4 ,if ,i _h be5 plac$ 9 ! college z a bo>d]1 ,i %\ld h gr[n l my comrades :om ,i h s9ce /udi$ & = :om !re has nev] be5 a religi\s crisis4 ,at ! p]iod ( :i* ,i am writ+1 & :i* m>k$ ! def9ite adv5t ( ! democratic p>ty 9 ,france1 a great wave ( free ?\ght roll$ f ,p>is into all ! prov9ces2 b ,i 0 ! son ( a v dev\t woman1 & ,i 0 subject$ to all ! obs]vances ( religion4 ,i f9d a pro( ( :at ,i h told y ( my precoci\s ta/e = analysis 9 ! fact t unlike all my "y companions1 ,i 0 delight$ ) ! confessional4 ,i c say t1 dur+ ! f\r ye>s ( ! my/ic crisis ( y\?1 f #ahgf to #ahhj1 ! great ev5ts ( my life 7 ^! long sances 9 ! n>r[ wood5 box 9 ! *ur* ,des ,m9imes1 :i* 0 our p>i% *ur*1 :]e ,i w5t e =tnight to kneel d[n & speak 9 a l[ voice1 ) a beat+ he>t1 ( :at 0 pass+ )9 me4 ,! approa* ( my fir/ communion m>k$ ! bir? ( ?is feel+ = ! confessional1 mix$ ) contradictory elem5ts4 ,i believ$1 consequ5tly1 my little s9s appe>$ to me to be v]itable crimes1 & to confess !m made me a%am$4 ,i rep5t$1 & ,i _h ! c]ta9ty t ,i rose p>don$1 ) ! delight ( a consci5ce wa%$ f e /a94 ,i 0 an imag9ative & n]v\s *ild1 & !re 0 = me 9 ! sc5]y ( ! sacram5t1 9 ! cold sil5ce ( ! *ur*1 9 ! odor ( vault & inc5se :i* fill$ x1 9 ! /amm]+ ( my own voice say+1 8,my fa!r10 & 9 ! :isp]+ ( ! prie/ respond+1 8my son10 f beh9d ! grat+1 a poetry ( my/]y :i* ,i felt )\t und]/&+4 ,unit$ ) ?is1 !re 0 a s+ul> impression ( fe>1 :i* 0 d]iv$ f ! tea*+ ( ,abb ,m>tel1 ! prie/ :o prep>$ u = our fir/ communion4 ,he 0 a small1 %ort man1 ) an apoplectic face1 & a grave1 h>d blue eye1 a man :o _h be5 educat$ 9 a prov9cial sem9>y /ill p5etrat$ ) ,jans5ism4 ,8 eyes1 :5 f ! pulpit ( ,des ,m9imes he 0 talk+ to u ( hell1 saw visions ( t]ror1 & ?is s5sation he communicat$ to u4 ,i rejoice t he is dead1 = if he 7 liv+ ,i might see him ent] my prison1 & :o kn[s :at might happ5 !n8 ,p]haps ,i %\ld suff] a recurr5ce ( ^? emotions ( t]ror :i* 8 pres5ce us$ to inflict4 ,! con/ant !mes ( 8 disc\rse 7 ! small numb] ( ! elect & ! div9e v5geance4 8,:o c\ld h9d] ,god10 said ! prie/1 8s9ce he is all-p[]ful1 f =c+ ! s\l ( ! man :o has committ$ murd] to rema9 ne> ! body f :i* x is sep>at$8 ,! s\l w\ld be !re1 9 ! mortu>y *amb]1 he>+ ! sobs1 see+ ! te>s ( ! fri5ds1 & yet =bidd5 to console !m4 ,x w\ld be imprison$ 9 ! w9d+-%eet1 & !re dur+ days & days & nights & nights x w\ld be pres5t at ! corruption ( ! fle%1 :i* 0 once its own1 !re among ! worms & ! rot40 ,su* images & su* f]ocity ( inv5tion ab\nd$ 9 8 bitt] m\?2 !y foll[$ me into my sleep2 ! fe> ( hell 0 excit$ 9 me almo/ to madness4 ,! ,abb ,m>tel employ$ ! same eloqu5ce 9 pres5t+ ! decisive importance to our salvation :i* ! approa* to ! communion table w\ld h1 & s my fe> ( et]nal puni%m5t l$ to a scrupul\s exam9ation ( my consci5ce4 ,soon ^! close m$itations1 ?is look+ z ?r\gh a magnify+ glass at my slighte/ deviations1 ?is cont9u\s scrut9y ( my inmo/ self1 int]e/$ me to su* a degree t no sport _h any attraction = me 9 comp>ison4 ,i _h f\nd1 = ! fir/ "t s9ce ! dea? ( my fa!r1 an employm5t = ?is p[] ( analysis :i* 0 already def9itive & almo/ con/itutive 9 me4 ,! developm5t ?us giv5 to my acute s5se ( ! inn] life ought to h produc$ an amelioration ( my moral be+4 ,on ! contr>y1 x result$ 9 a subtility :i*1 9 itself alone1 0 a corruption1 at lea/ f ! po9t ( view ( /rict ,ca?olic discipl9e4 ,i became1 9 ! c\rse ( ^! exam9ations ( consci5ce1 into :i* ent]$ m ( pleasure ?an ( rep5tance1 extremely +5i\s1 & discov]+ peculi> motives beh9d my mo/ simple actions4 ,! ,abb ,m>tel 0 n a psy*ologi/ suffici5tly acute to disc]n ?is %ad[ & to compreh5d t to cut ! s\l to pieces 9 ?is way w\ld lead me to pref] ! fleet+ complexities ( s9 to ! simplicity ( virtue4 ,he recogniz$ only ! zeal ( a v f]v5t *ild4 ,= example1 on ! morn+ ( my fir/ communion ,i w5t 9 te>s to confess to him once m4 ,9 turn+ ov] & ov] aga9 ! soil & ! subsoil ( my memory1 ,i _h discov]$ a s+ul> s91 ! fe> ( man4 ,six weeks be=e1 ,i _h he>d two boys1 my comrades1 at ! door ( ! ,lyceum1 mock+ an old lady :o 0 ent]+ ! *ur* ,des ,c>mes1 j opposite4 ,i _h laugh$ at _! words in/ead ( reprov+ !m4 ,! old lady 0 go+ to mass2 to ridicule h] 0 to ridicule a pi\s action4 ,i _h laugh$1 :y8 f false %ame4 ,!n ,i _h p>ticipat$ 9 x4 ,0 x n my duty to f9d ! two mock]s & to %[ !m _! impiety1 & make !m promise rep5t8 ,i _h n done s4 ,:y8 ,f false %ame2 f respect = man1 accord+ to ! def9ition ( ! cate*ism4 ,i pass$ ! :ole night prec$+ ! great day ( ! fir/ communion 9 wond]+ if ,i c\ld see ! ,abb ,m>tel e>ly en\gh ! next day to confess ?is s94 ,i recall ! smile ) :i* he tapp$ my *eek aft] hav+ giv5 me absolution 9 ord] to quiet me4 ,i he> ! tone ( 8 voice :i* _h gr[n v sweet z he said to me3 8,may y always be :at y are n[40 ,he did n suspect t ?is pu]ile scruple 0 ! sign ( an exagg]at$ly unheal?y reflection1 nor t ?is reflection w\ld poison ! delights ( ! ,eu*>i/ = :i* ,i _h s ard5tly wi%$4 ,i _h n be5 satisfi$1 9 ! c\rse ( ! prec$+ weeks1 to analyze ! consci5ce to its mo/ delicate fibres1 ,i _h ab&on$ myself to ! imag9ation ( s5tim5t :i* is ! =c$ consequ5ce ( ?is _s ( analysis4 ,i _h anticipat$ ) extreme precision ! s5tim5ts :i* ,i %\ld exp]i5ce 9 receiv+ ! ho/ ^u my lips4 ,9 my imag9ation ,i advanc$ t[>d ! rail ( ! alt> :i* 0 drap$ 9 a :ite clo?1 ) a t5sion ( my :ole be+ :i* ,i h nev] s9ce exp]i5c$1 & ,i felt1 9 commun+1 a k9d ( *ill+ deception1 an ec/atic exhau/ion ( :i* ,i _c describe ! discom=t4 ,i h s9ce spok5 ( ?is impression to a fri5d :o 0 /ill a ,*ri/ian & he said3 8,y 7 n simple en\gh40 ,8 piety _h giv5 to him ! insight ( a pr(essional obs]v]4 ,x 0 too true4 ,b :at c\ld ,i d8 ,! great ev5t ( my y\?1 :i* 0 ! loss ( my fai?1 did n1 h[ev]1 date f ?is deception4 ,! causes :i* det]m9$ ?is loss 7 v num]\s1 & ,i h nev] cle>ly compreh5d$ !m until n[4 ,!y 7 sl[ & progressive at fir/1 & act$ ^u my m9d z ! worm ^u ! fruit1 dev\r+ ! int]ior )\t any o!r sign ( ?is ravage ?an a small speck1 almo/ invisible1 on ! beautiful purple r9d4 ,! fir/ 01 x seems to me1 ! application to my confessor ( ?is t]rible critical _s1 a faculty de/ructive ( all confid5ce1 :i*1 f my infancy1 _h s sep>at$ me f my "m4 ,i pu%$ my exam9ations ( consci5ce to ! mo/ subtle delicacy & /ill ! ,abb ,m>tel did n p]ceive ?is "w ( secret torture :i* completely anatomatiz$ my s\l4 ,my scruples appe>$ to him1 z !y 71 *ildi%2 b !y 7 ! *ildi%ness ( a v complex boy1 & "o :o c\ld n be direct$ unless he might feel t he 0 und]/ood4 ,9 my conv]sations ) ?is rude & primitive prie/ ,i soon exp]i5c$ ! contr>y feel+4 ,?is 0 en\gh to deprive ?is director ( my y\? ( all au?ority ov] my m9d4 ,at ! same "t1 & ?is is ! second ( ! causes :i* deta*$ me f ! *ur*1 ,i f\nd among m5 :om ,i !n consid]$ sup]ior ! same indiff]5ce to religi\s obs]vances t ,i _h obs]v$ 9 my fa!r4 ,i knew t ! "y pr(essors1 ^? :o _h come f ,p>is ) ! pre/ige ( hav+ gone ?r\gh ! ,normal ,s*ool1 7 all a!i/s & skeptics4 ,i he>d ! abb pron\nce ^! words ) conc5trat$ indignation1 9 ! visits :i* he made to my "m4 ,:5 ,i accompani$ h] to ! (fices ( ,des ,m9imes z ,i _h =m]ly to ^? ( ! ,capu*9s1 ,i reflect$ on ! pov]ty ( intellect ( ! devotees :o cr[d to mass on ,sunday morn+s & mutt] _! pray]s 9 ! sil5ce ( ! c]emony1 brok5 only by ! noise ( displac$ *airs4 ,! flame ( a cle> & liv+ ?\ght _h nev] be5 light$ 9 ! heads t b[$ ) s submissive a f]vor at ! elevation ( ! ho/4 ,i did n at t "t =mulate ?is contra/ ) ?is di/9ctness1 b ,i recall$ ! picture ( ^? "y ma/]s z !y em]g$ f ! ,lyceum1 talk+ ) ea* o!r 9 conv]sations :i* ,i imag9$ 7 l ^? ( my fa!r1 :]e ! smalle/ s5t5ce 0 *>g$ ) sci5ce2 & a _s ( d\bt arose 9 my m9d z to ! intellectual value ( ,ca?olic beliefs4 ,?is di/ru/ 0 f$ by a k9d ( nave ambition :i* made me desire ) an incr$ible ardor to be z intellig5t z ! mo/ intellig5t & n to vegetate among ^? ( second rank4 ,i confess t a good deal ( pride 0 m+l$ ) ?is desire1 b ,i d n blu% at ?is av[al4 ,x 0 a purely intellectual pride1 completely =eign to any desire = outw>d success4 ,&1 if ,i hold myself erect at ?is mom5t1 & 9 ?is fe>ful drama1 ,i owe x fir/ ( all to ?is pride--x is ?is :i* p]mits me to describe my pa/ ) ?is cold lucidity1 in/ead ( runn+ away l an ord9>y suspect1 f ! noisy ev5ts ( ?is drama4 ,i c see s cle>ly t ! fir/ sc5es ( ?is trag$y began ) ! college y\? 9 :om 0 act+ ! "y man ( to-day4 ,! ?ird ( ! causes :i* concurr$ 9 ?is sl[ dis9tegration ( my ,*ri/ian fai? 0 ! discov]y ( contemporane\s lit]ature1 :i* dates f my f\rte5? ye>4 ,i h told y t my "m1 %ortly aft] my fa!r's dea?1 suppress$ c]ta9 books4 ,?is sev]ity _h n relax$ ) "t1 & ! key ( ! pat]nal bookcase cont9u$ to click on ! /eel r+ betwe5 t ( ! pantry & ( ! cell>4 ,! mo/ evid5t result ( ?is prohibition 01 to height5 ! *>m ( ! remembrance :i* ^! books _h left ( ! half-compreh5d$ pieces f ,%akespe>e1 & ! half-=gott5 romances ( ,george ,s&4 ,*ance will$ t1 at ! comm5cem5t ( my ?irte5? ye>1 ,i %\ld come across "s examples ( mod]n poetry 9 ! book ( ,fr5* au?ors :i* s]v$ = ! ye>'s recitations4 ,!re 7 fragm5ts ( ,lam>t9e1 a doz5 ( ,hugo's pieces1 ! 8,/ances la ,malibran0 ( ,alfr$ de ,musset1 "s bits ( ,sa9te-,beuve1 & ( ,leconte de ,lisle4 ,^! pages 7 suffici5t to make me appreciate ! absolute diff]5ce ( inspiration betwe5 ! mod]n & ! anci5t ma/]s1 z "o c appreciate ! diff]5ce ( aroma betwe5 a b\quet ( roses & a b\quet ( lilacs1 ) 8 eyes %ut4 ,?is diff]5ce1 :i* ,i div9e by an unreason+ in/9ct1 resides 9 ! fact t1 until ! ,revolution1 writ]s _h nev] tak5 s5sibility z ! subject & ! only rule ( _! works4 ,x has be5 ! contr>y s9ce eighty-n9e4 ,f ?is !re results among ! new writ]s a c]ta9 pa9ful1 ungov]nable some?+1 a se>* aft] moral & physical emotion :i* has become almo/ morbid1 & :i* attract$ me imm$iately4 ,! my/ical s5suality ( ! 8,/ances du ,lac0 & ( ! 8,crucifix10 ! *ang+ spl5dors ( sev]al 8,ori5tales10 fasc9at$ me2 b above all ,i 0 *>m$ at some?+ culpable :i* brea!s 9 ! eloqu5ce ( 8,l',espoir en ,dieu0 & 9 "s fragm5ts ( ! 8,consolations40 ,i began to feel = ! re/ ( ! works ( ^! ma/]s t /rong & almo/ insane curiosity :i* m>ks ! middle p]iod ( adolesc5ce4 ,"o is !n on ! bord] ( life1 & he he>s )\t see+1 z x 71 ! murmur ( a wat]fall ?r\gh a clu/] ( trees1 & h[ ?is s\nd intoxicates him ) expectation6 ,a fri5d%ip ) a comrade :o liv$ on ! fir/ floor ( our h\se exasp]at$ ?is curiosity /ill m4 ,?is fri5d1 :o di$ "y1 & :o 0 nam$ ,emile1 0 also an invet]ate read]1 b m =tunate ?an ,i1 he suff]$ f no surveillance4 ,8 fa!r & "m1 :o 7 already old1 liv$ on a small income & pass$ ! long h\rs ( ! day 9 play+1 9 front ( ! w9d[ :i* op5$ on ! ,rue de ,bill>d1 int]m9able games ( bezique1 ) c>ds b\ght 9 a caf & /ill smell+ ( tobacco4 ,emile alone 9 8 room1 c\ld ab&on himself to all 8 fancies 9 read+4 ,z we 7 9 ! same class1 & z we w5t to & f ! ,lyceum toge!r1 my "m will+ly p]mitt$ me to pass :ole h\rs ) ?is *>m+ lad1 :o soon %>$ my ta/e = ! v]ses :i* ,i s mu* admir$1 & my desire to "k m ( _! au?ors4 ,on our way to ! college1 we took ! n>r[ /reets ( ! old t[n & pass$ ! /all ( an old booksell] ( :om we _h b\ght "s second-h& classics4 ,we discov]$ "h a copy ( ! poetry ( ,musset 9 r a bad condition1 :i* w\ld co/ =ty s\s4 ,at fir/ we cont5t$ ourselves ) occasional read+s at ! /all1 b soon we felt t x 0 impossible to d )\t x4 ,by putt+ toge!r our sp5d+ money = two weeks1 we 7 able to buy x1 & !n1 9 ,emile's little room1 he on 8 b$ & ,i on a *air1 we read ,don ,paez1 ! ,m>rons du feu1 ,portia1 ,m>do*e & ,rolla4 ,i trembl$ z if ,i 7 committ+ a great fault1 & we imbib$ ?is poetry z if x _h be5 w9e1 sl[ly1 sweetly1 passionately4 ,i read aft]w>d 9 ?is same room1 & also 9 my own1 ?anks to ! ruses ( a lov] 9 dang]1 _m cl&e/9e volumes :i* ,i v mu* enjoy$1 f ! 8,peau de *agr910 ( ,balzac1 to ! 8,fleurs du mal10 ( ,baudelaire1 n to m5tion ! poems ( ,he9ri* ,he9e & ! romances ( ,/5dhal4 ,i h nev] felt an emotion comp>able to t ( my fir/ enc\nt] ) ! g5ius ( ! au?or ( 8,rolla40 ,i 0 nei!r an arti/ nor a hi/orian4 ,0 ,i !re=e indiff]5t to _! value m or less real or _! mean+ m or less actual8 ,n at all4 ,?is 0 an eld] bro!r :o _h come to reveal to me ! dang]\s _w ( s5tim5tal exp]i5ce4 ,! intellectual inf]iority ( piety to impiety :i* ,i _h obscurely felt appe>$ n[ 9 a /rangely new light4 ,all ! virtues t _h be5 prea*$ to me 9 my *ildhood seem$ poor & mean & humble1 & mean] beside ! opul5ce & ! fr5zy ( c]ta9 vices4 ,! devotees :o 7 my "m's fri5ds1 sadly old & %rivel$1 repres5t$ fai?4 ,impiety 0 a h&some "y man :o awakes & looks at ! crimson aurora1 & 9 a glance discov]s ! :ole horizon ( hi/ory & leg5ds1 & !n aga9 lays 8 head on ! bosom ( a girl z beautiful z 8 mo/ beautiful dream4 ,*a/ity & m>riage 7 ! b\rgeois :om ,i knew :o w5t to he> ! music 9 ! ,j>d9 des ,plantes1 e ,?ursday & ,sunday1 & :o said ! same ?+s 9 ! same way4 ,my imag9ation pa9t$1 9 ! *im]ical colors ( ! mo/ burn+ poetry1 ! faces ( ! lib]t9es ( ! ,contes d',espagne & ( ! fragm5ts :i* foll[4 ,!re 0 ,dalti murd]+ ! husb& ( ,portia1 !n w&]+ ) 8 mi/ress ov] ! d>k wat]s ( ! lagoon among ! /airways ( ! antique palaces4 ,!re 7 ,don ,paez assass9at+ ,juana aft] fold+ h] to himself 9 a fond embrace2 ,frank & 8 ,belcolore1 ,hassan & 8 ,nam\na1 l',abb ,cassio & 8 ,luzon4 ,i 0 n compet5t to criticize ! romantic falsity ( all ?is f9e sett+1 nor to sep>ate ! s9c]e f ! lit]>y portion ( ^! poems4 ,! complete pr(ligacy ( s\l appe>$ to me ?r\gh ^! l9es1 & x tempt$ me2 x excit$ 9 my m9d1 already eag] = new s5sations1 ! faculty ( analysis already too mu* ar\s$4 ,! o!r works :i* ,i h cit$ 7 ! pretext = a temptation :i* 0 simil> b n s /rong4 ,9 ! contemplation ( ! sores ( ! human he>t :i* !y expos$ ) s mu* complaisance1 ,i 0 l ^? sa9ts ( ! middle ages :o 7 hypnotiz$ by contemplation ( ! w\nds ( ! ,savi\r4 ,! /r5g? ( _! piety caus$ ! miracul\s /igmata to appe> on _! h&s & ! ardor ( my imag9ation1 at ! age ( holy ignorances & immaculate purities1 op5$ 9 my s\l ! /igmata ( moral ulc]s :i* are dra9+ ! life blood ( all ! great mod]n invalids4 ,yes1 9 ! ye>s :5 ,i 0 only ! collegian1 ! fri5d ( little ,emile1 ,i assimilat$ 9 ?\ght ! emotions :i* ! timid tea*+s ( my ma/]s indicat$ z ! mo/ crim9al4 ,my m9d 0 ta9t$ ) ! mo/ dang]\s poisons1 :ile1 ?anks to my p[] ( duplication1 ,i cont9u$ to play ! "p ( a v good *ild1 v assidu\s at my tasks1 v submissive to my "m1 & v pi\s4 ,b no4 ,h[ev] /range ?is mu/ appe> to y1 ,i did n play t rle4 ,i 0 pi\s1 ) a spontane\s contradiction :i*1 p]haps1 has direct$ my ?\ght to ! psy*ological "w to :i* ,i consecrat$ my fir/ ef=ts4 ,:5 ,i read 9 y\r "w on ! w ^? sugge/ive indications on ! !ory ( ! multiplicity ( self1 ,i seiz$ ^u !m imm$iately1 aft] hav+ pass$ ?r\gh su* epo*s z ,i am describ+ to y to-day & 9 :i* ,i h really be5 sev]al di/9ct be+s4 ,?is crisis ( imag9ative s5sibility _h cont9u$ ! attack ^u my religi\s fai? by (f]+ ! temptation ( subtile s9 & also t ( pa9ful scepticism4 ,! s5suality crisis :i* result$ f x fail$ to revive ?is fai? 9 my he>t4 ,i ceas$ to be pure :5 ,i 0 sev5te5 ye>s old1 & ?is happ5$ z usual1 9 v dull & prosaic circum/ances4 ,f t "t1 beside ! two p]sons :o already exi/$ 9 me1 betwe5 ! y\? :o 0 /ill f]v5t1 regul>1 pi\s1 & ! y\? romantically imag9ative1 a ?ird individual 0 born & grew1 a s5sual be+1 torm5t$ by ! base/ desires4 ,h[ev]1 ! ta/e = ! intellectual life 0 s /rong1 s def9ite1 t al?\gh suff]+ f ?is s+ul> condition1 ,i felt a s5sation ( sup]iority 9 recogniz+ & /udy+ x4 ,:at 0 m /range1 ,i did n yield to ?is la/ disposition m ?an ,i did to ! o!rs1 ) a cle> & lucid consci\sness4 ,i rema9$ a y\? ?r\gh all ^! tr\bles1 t is to say a be+ /ill unc]ta9 & incomplete1 a be+ 9 :om c\ld be disc]n$ ! l9eam5ts ( ! s\l to come4 ,i did n ass]t my my/icism1 = at bottom ,i 0 a%am$ to believe1 z if to believe 7 some?+ inf]ior2 nor my s5tim5tal imag9ations1 = ,i consid]$ !m z simple sports ( lit]ature2 nor my s5suality = ,i 0 disgu/$ ) x4 ,& beside1 ,i _h nei!r ! !ory nor ! audacity ( my curiosity 9 reg>d to my faults4 ,emile1 :o di$ ! foll[+ w9t]1 ( disease ( ! lungs1 0 v ill at ?is "t & did n g out ( ! h\se4 ,he li/5$ to my confid5ces ) a fright5$ int]e/ :i* flatt]$ my self-love by mak+ me ?9k t ,i 0 diff]5t f o!rs4 ,?is did n prev5t my be+ afraid1 z on ! ev5+ be=e my fir/ communion1 at ! look :i* l',abb ,m>tel gave me :5 he met me4 ,he _h )\t d\bt spok5 to my "m-s f> z ! secrecy ( ! confessional p]mitt$1 = %e wat*$ my go+s out b )\t ! p[] to h9d] !m entirely1 & above all )\t suspect+ any o!r ?an ! possible causes ( temptation1 s well did ,i envelop myself 9 hypocrisy4 ,! illness ( my be/ fri5d1 ! surveillance ( my "m1 ! appreh5sion ( ! prie/'s eyes en]vat$ me1 & p]haps ! m t x seem$ 9 ?is volcanic c\ntry z if ! summ]'s heat drew f ! sun a m ard5t & intoxicat+ vapor4 ,i knew at t "t1 days lit]ally madd5+1 s made up 7 !y ( contradictory h\rs1 days 9 :i* ,i arose a m f]v5t ,*ri/ian ?an ev]4 ,i read a little 9 ! 8,imitation10 ,i pray$1 ,i w5t to my class ) ! firm det]m9ation to be p]fectly regul> & good4 ,z soon z ,i return$ ,i prep>$ my lessons1 !n ,i w5t d[n to ,emile's room4 ,we gave ourselves up to ! read+ ( "s excit+ book4 ,8 fa!r & "m1 :o knew t he c\ld n live1 humor$ him 9 ev]y?+ & all[$ him to take f ! libr>y any "w t he pleas$4 ,we n[ _h 9 h& ! mo/ mod]n writ]s1 ^: books hav+ rec5tly come f ,p>is1 exhal$ an odor ( new pap] & fre% ink4 ,9 ?is way we br\ght ^u ourselves a *ill ( ! bra9 :i* accompani$ me all ! aft]noon aft] ,i return$ to my classroom4 ,!re1 9 ! /ifl+ heat ( ! day1 ,i c\ld see ?r\gh ! op5 door1 ! %ort %ad[s ( ! trees 9 ! y>d1 & he> ! f>-(f voices ( "s pr(essor dictat+ ! lessons2 ,i c\ld see ! figure ( ,m>ianne1 & !n began a temptation :i* at fir/ 0 vague & remote1 b :i* grew & cont9u$ to gr[4 ,i resi/$ x1 :ile kn[+ t ,i %\ld succumb1 z if ! /ruggle aga9/ my obscure desire made me ! m feel its /r5g? & acut5ess4 ,i w5t home4 ,i hurri$ ?r\gh my duties ) a k9d ( diabolical v]ve1 f9d+ "s p[] 9 ! disord] ( my too susceptible n]ves4 ,aft] d9n] ,i w5t d[n/airs "u pretext ( see+ ,emile & ha/5$ t[>d ,m>ianne's4 ,on my return ,i pass$ "s h\rs at my w9d[1 look+ at ! />s ( ! va/ sky ( summ]1 recall+ my dead fa!r1 & :at he _h said to me ( ^! f>-(f worlds4 ,!n an extraord9>y impression ( ! my/]y ( nature w\ld seize me1 ( ! my/]y ( my own s\l1 liv+ 9 ! mid/ ( nature1 & ,i d n "k :i* ,i admir$ m1 ! dep?s ( ! taciturn heav5s1 or ! abysses :i* a day ?us employ$ reveal$ 9 my he>t4 ,su* 7 ! habits ( my inn] life1 my de> ma/]1 :5 ,i ent]$ ! class :i* w\ld decide my developm5t--! class ( philosophy4 ,my en*antm5t began 9 ! fir/ week ( ! c\rse4 ,:at a c\rse1 h[ev]1 & h[ cramm$ ) ! rubbi% ( ! classic psy*ology6 ,no matt]1 inexact & incomplete (ficial & conv5tional z x 01 ?is psy*ology enamor$ me4 ,! me?od employ$1 ! p]sonal reflection & ! m9ute analysis3 ! object to be /udi$1 ! human 8,i10 consid]$ 9 8 faculties & passions2 ! result s\ght1 a sy/em ( g5]al ideas capable ( summ+ up 9 brief =mulas a va/ pile ( ph5om5a2 all 9 ?is new sci5ce1 h>moniz$ too well ) ! species ( m9d :i* my h]$ity1 my education1 & my own t5d5cies _h fa%ion$ 9 me4 ,i =got ev5 my favorite read+ & plung$ into ^! works ( an ord] until n[ unkn[n ) ! m fr5zy t ! dea? ( my only fri5d :i* occurr$ at ?is "t impos$ on my m9d1 :i* 0 naturally s m$itative1 ?is problem ( de/9y :i* ,i already felt myself p[]less to solve by my e>ly fai?4 ,my ardor 0 s lively t soon ,i 0 no long] satisfi$ to foll[ ! c\rse4 ,i s\ght o!r books :i* w\ld complete ! tea*+ ( ! ma/]s1 & 9 ?is way1 ,i "o day came ^u ! 8,psy*ology de ,dieu40 ,x impress$ me s pr(\ndly t ,i imm$iately obta9$ ! 8,!ory ( ! ,passions0 & ! 8,anatomy ( ! ,w40 ,^! 7 9 ! realm ( pure ?\ght1 ! same ?und]bolt z 7 ! works ( ,de ,musset 9 ! realm ( deliri\s s5sations4 ,! veil fell4 ,! d>kness ( ! ext]nal & ( ! int]nal _w became light4 ,i _h f\nd my way4 ,i 0 y\r pupil4 ,9 ord] to expla9 to y 9 a v cle> mann] h[ y\r ?\ght p5etrat$ m9e1 p]mit me to pass imm$iately to ! result ( ?is read+1 & ! m$itations :i* foll[$4 ,y w see h[ ,i 0 able to draw f y\r works a complete sy/em ( e?ics1 & :i* prop]ly arrang$ 9 a m>vel\s mann] ! scatt]$ elem5ts :i* 7 float+ ab\t )9 me4 ,i f\nd 9 ! fir/ ( ^! ?ree works1 ! 8,psy*ology ( ,god10 a def9ite alleviation ( ! religi\s angui% 9 :i* ,i _h cont9u$ to live1 9 spite ( temptation & ( d\bts4 ,c]ta9ly1 objections to ! dogmas _h n be5 lack+1 z ,i _h read s _m books :i* manife/$ ! mo/ audaci\s irreligion1 & ,i _h be5 drawn t[>d skepticism1 z ,i h told y1 because ,i f\nd 9 x ! d\ble "* ( intellectual sup]iority & ( s5tim5tal novelty4 ,i _h felt1 among o!r influ5ces1 t ( ! au?or ( ! 8,life ( ,jesus40 ,! exquisite magic ( 8 /yle1 ! sov]eign grace ( 8 dilettanteism1 ! languor\s poetry ( 8 pi\s impiety _h affect$ me deeply1 b x 0 n = no?+ t ,i 0 ! son ( a geometrician1 & ,i _h n be5 satisfi$ ) :at !re 0 ( unc]ta9ty1 ( %ad[ 9 ?is incomp>able arti/4 ,x 0 ! ma!matical rigor ( y\r book :i* at once took possession ( my m9d4 ,y demon/rat$ ) irresi/ible dialectics1 t any hypo!sis ^u ! fir/ cause is nons5se1 ev5 ! idea ( ?is fir/ cause is an absurdity1 nev]!less ?is nons5se & ?is absurdity are z necess>y to our m9d z is ! illusion to our eyes ( a sun turn+ ar\nd ! e>?1 al?\gh we "k t ! sun is immovable & t ! e>? itself is 9 motion4 ,! all-p[]ful +5uity ( ?is reason+ *>m$ my intellect1 :i* docilely yield$ to y\r vision ( ! lucid & rational _w4 ,i p]ceiv$ ! univ]se z x is1 p\r+ out )\t beg9n+1 & )\t end1 ! tide ( inexhau/ible ph5om5a4 ,! c>e :i* y h tak5 to f\nd all y\r argum5ts ^u facts tak5 f sci5ce correspond$ too well ) ! tea*+ ( my fa!r n to h subdu$ me4 ,i read y\r pages ov] & ov] aga91 summ>iz$ !m1 comm5t$ ^u !m1 appli$ !m ) ! ardor ( a neophyte1 9 ord] to assimilate all ! sub/ance4 ,! intellectual pride :i* ,i _h felt f my *ildhood became exalt$ 9 ! "y man :o le>n$ f y ! r5unciations ( ! sweete/1 ( ! mo/ com=t+ topics4 ,ah6 h[ %all ,i tell y ( ! f]vor ( an initiation :i* 0 l a fir/ love 9 ! delights ( its en?usiasm8 ,i felt x a physical joy to ov]?r[1 ) y\r books 9 my h&1 ! entire edifice ( beliefs 9 :i* ,i _h gr[n up4 ,yes1 ?is 0 ! mascul9e felicity :i* ,lucretius has celebrat$1 t ( ! lib]at+ negation1 & n ! c[>dly melan*oly ( a ,j\ffroy4 ,?is hymn to sci5ce1 ( :i* ea* ( y\r pages is a /rophe1 ,i li/5$ to ) a delight z mu* m int5se z ! faculty ( analysis1 ! pr9cipal reason ( my piety1 _h f\nd1 ?anks to y1 ano!r way to ex]cise itself ?an at ! confessional1 & t y\r two great treatises _h enlight5$ me z to my inn] be+1 at ! same "t t y\r 8,psy*ology ( ,god0 enlight5$ me 9 reg>d to ! ext]nal univ]se1 ) a light :i*1 ev5 to-day1 is my la/1 my inext+ui%able beacon 9 ! mid/ ( ! tempe/4 ,h[ y expla9$ to me all ! incoh]5ces ( my y\?6 ,?is moral solitude 9 :i* ,i _h suff]$ s mu* ) my "m1 ) ! ,abb ,m>tel1 ) my comrades1 ) ev]yone1 ev5 ,emile--,i n[ und]/ood4 ,h y n demon/rat$1 9 y\r 8,!ory ( ! ,passions10 t we are p[]less to get away f ,self1 & t all relation betwe5 two be+s reposes1 l ev]y?+ else1 ^u illusion8 ,t\r 8,anatomy ( ! ,w0 reveal$ to me ! necess>y motives1 ! inevitable logic ( ! yield+ to ! temptations ( ! s5ses = :i* ,i _h suff]$ remorse s sev]e4 ,! complications ) :i* ,i reproa*$ myself z a lack ( frankness1 y %[$ to be ! v law ( exi/5ce impos$ by h]$ity4 ,i f\nd also1 t1 9 se>*+ ! romanc]s & poets ( ! c5tury = culpable & morbid conditions ( s\l1 ,i _h1 )\t suspect+ x1 foll[$ ! inborn vocation ( psy*ologi/4 ,h y n writt53 8,all s\ls mu/ be consid]$ by ! psy*ologi/ z exp]i5ces in/itut$ by nature4 ,among ^! exp]i5ces1 "s are useful to society & are call$ virtues2 o!rs are injuri\s & are call$ vices or crimes4 ,^! la/ are h[ev]1 ! m significant1 & !re w\ld lack an ess5tial elem5t to ! sci5ce ( ! m9d1 if ,n]o1 = example1 or "s ,italian tyrant ( ! fifte5? c5tury _h n exi/$80 ,on ^? w>m summ] days1 ,i walk$ out1 ) "o ( ^! books 9 my pocket1 &1 :5 alone 9 ! c\ntry1 ,i read "s ( ^! s5t5ces & became absorb$ 9 m$itation on _! mean+4 ,i appli$ to ! c\ntry :i* surr\nd$ me ! philosophical int]pretation ( :at we agree to call evil4 ,)\t d\bt ! eruptions :i* _h rais$ ! *a9 ( ! ,domes1 at ^: feet ,i w&]$1 _h deva/at$ ) burn+ lava ! neighbor+ pla9 & de/roy$ liv+ be+s1 b !y _h produc$ ?is magnific5ce ( sc5]y :i* *>m$ me1 :5 my eyes contemplat$ ! graceful gr\p ( ! ,p>i\1 ! ,puy de ,dme & all ! l9e ( ^! noble m\nta9s4 ,! road 0 v]dant ) euphorbias 9 bloom1 ^: /ems ,i broke to see ! milk-:ite poison exud+ f !m4 ,b ^! poison\s plants n\ri%$ ! beautiful ti?ymal cat]pill>1 gre5 ) d>k spots1 f :i* a butt]fly w\ld be born1 a sph9x ) color$ w+s ( ! f9e/ t9t4 ,sometimes a vip] glid$ among ! /ones ( ^! du/y roads1 :i* ,i wat*$ z x mov$ away1 gray aga9/ ! puzzuolana r$1 ) 8 flat head & ! suppl5ess ( 8 spott$ body4 ,! dang]\s reptile appe>$ to me a pro( ( ! indiff]5ce ( nature ^: only c>e is to multiply life1 b5efic5t or murd]\s1 ) ! same inexhau/ible prodigality4 ,i le>n$ !n1 ) inexpressible =ce1 ! same lesson :i* ,i le>n$ f y\r works1 to "k t we h no?+ = our own b ourselves1 t ! 8,i0 alone is real1 t nature ignores u1 z d m51 t f h] z f !m we h no?+ to ask if n "s pretexts = feel+ or = ?9k+4 ,my old beliefs1 9 a ,god1 ! fa!r & judge1 seem$ l ! dreams ( a sick *ild1 & ,i exp&$ to ! extreme limits ( ! va/ l&scape1 to ! dep?s ( ! imm5se void heav51 9 ?9k+ t z a y\? ,i _h already reflect$ en\gh to und]/& ( ?is _w :at none ( ! c\ntrym5 :om ,i saw pass c\ld ev] compreh5d4 ,!y came f ! m\nta9s1 lead+ _! ox5 h>ness$ to _! l>ge c>ts1 & salut$ ! cross dev\tly4 ,) :at delight ,i scorn$ _! gross sup]/ition1 !irs & ! ,abb ,m>tel's & my "m's1 ?\gh ,i _h n decid$ to decl>e my a!ism1 =esee+ too pla9ly :at sc5es ?is decl>ation w\ld provoke6 ,b ^! sc5es are ( no m importance1 & ,i come n[ to ! expos ( a drama :i* w\ld h _h no mean+ if ,i _h n fir/ admitt$ y into ! intimacy ( my m9d & its =mation4 ,,iii4 ,,transplantation4 ,by too close att5tion to /udy dur+ ?is ye>1 ,i br\ght on q a s]i\s illness1 :i* =c$ me to int]rupt my prep>ation = ! ,normal ,s*ool4 ,:5 ,i _h recov]$ ,i d\bl$ my lessons 9 philosophy1 at ! same "t foll[+ a "p ( ! rhetorical c\rse4 ,i pres5t$ myself at ! s*ool ab\t ! "t 9 :i* ,i _h ! honor ( be+ receiv$ by y4 ,y are acqua9t$ ) ! ev5ts :i* foll[$4 ,i fail$ at ! exam9ation4 ,my compositions lack$ t lit]>y brilliancy :i* is acquir$ only at ! ,lyceums ( ,p>is4 ,9 ,novemb]1 #ahhe1 ,i accept$ ! position ( preceptor 9 ! ,jussat-,r&on family4 ,i wrote to y !n t ,i r5\nc$ my indep5d5ce 9 ord] t ,i might n be any fur!r exp5se to my "m4 ,jo9$ ) ?is reason !re 0 ! secret hope t ! sav+s realiz$ 9 ?is preceptorate w\ld p]mit me1 my lic5tiate once pass$1 to prep>e = my fell[%ip exam9ation 9 ,p>is4 ,a resid5ce 9 t city attract$ me1 my de> ma/]1 by ! prospect ( liv+ ne> ! ,rue ,guy de la ,brosse4 ,my visit to y\r h]mitage _h made a pr(\nd impression4 ,y appe>$ to me z a k9d ( mod]n ,sp9oza1 s completely id5tical ) y\r books by ! nobility ( a life entirely consecrat$ to ?\ght4 ,i creat$ be=eh& a romance ( felicity at ! idea t ,i %\ld "k ! h\rs ( y\r walks1 t ,i %\ld =m ! habit ( meet+ y 9 ! old ,j>d9 des ,plantes1 :i* undulates "u y\r w9d[s1 t y w\ld cons5t to direct me1 t aid$ & su/a9$ by y1 ,i c\ld also make my place 9 sci5ce2 9 f9e y 7 = me ! liv+ c]ta9ty1 ! ma/]1 :at ,fau/ is = ,wagn] 9 ! psy*ologic symphony ( ,goe!4 ,beside1 ! conditions :i* ?is preceptorate (f]$ 7 p>ticul>ly easy4 ,i 0 above all to be ! companion ( a *ild twelve ye>s ( age1 ! second son ( ! ,m>quis de ,jussat4 ,i le>n$ aft]w>d :y ?is family _h retir$ = ! :ole w9t] to ?is *teau1 ne> ,lake ,aydat1 :]e !y usually pass$ ! autumn mon?s only4 ,m4 de ,jussat1 :o is orig9ally f ,auv]gne1 & :o has held ! (fice ( m9i/] pl5ipot5ti>y "u ! emp]or1 _h j lo/ a l>ge sum on ! ,b\rse4 ,8 prop]ty be+ hypo!cat$1 & 8 income greatly dim9i%$1 he _h let 8 h\se on ! ,*amps-,elyses furni%$ at a v high r5t4 ,he _h arriv$ at 8 ,jussat e/ate a little e>li]1 expect+ to g directly to 8 villa at ,cannes4 ,an advantage\s *ance to let ?is villa also (f]$4 ,! desire to free 8 prop]ty _h tempt$ him1 ! m z an increas+ hypo*ondria made x easi] to face ! prospect ( an entire ye> pass$ 9 solitude4 ,he _h be5 surpris$ by ! sudd5 dep>ture ( 8 son ,luci5's preceptor1 :o )\t d\bt did n c>e to bury himself 9 ! c\ntry = s _m mon?s1 & s he _h come to ,cl]mont4 ,he _h /udi$ 8 ma!matics !re ?irty-five ye>s be=e1 "u ,m4 ,limasset1 ! old pr(essor :o 0 my fa!r's fri5d4 ,! idea _h come to him to ask 8 old ma/] to recomm5d an intellig5t "y man1 capable ( tak+ *>ge ( ,luci5's /udies = ! :ole ye>4 ,m4 ,limasset naturally ?\ght ( me1 & ,i cons5t$1 = ! reasons :i* ,i h giv51 to be pres5t$ to ! m>quis z a c&idate = ! place4 ,9 ! p>lor ( "o ( ! hotels on ! ,place de ,j&e1 ,i f\nd a man q tall1 v bald1 ) cle> gray eyes 9 a v r$ face1 :o did n ev5 take ! tr\ble to exam9e me4 ,he begun at once to talk1 & he talk$ all ! "t1 int]m+l+ ! details ( 8 heal?--he 0 "o ( ! imag9>y invalids--) ! mo/ lively criticisms on mod]n education4 ,i c he> him n[ us+ pellmell phrases :i* reveal$ 9 a way ! diff]5t phases ( 8 "*4 8,well1 my poor ,limasset1 :5 are y com+ d[n to see u8 ,! air is excell5t d[n !re4 ,t is :at ,i ne$4 ,i _c brea! 9 ,p>is4 ,we nev] brea! en\gh4 ,i hope1 monsieur10 & he turn$ to me1 8t y are n an advocate ( ^! new me?ods ( tea*+4 ,sci5ce1 no?+ b sci5ce2 & my ,god1 g5tlem5 s*ol>s1 :at d y make ( x80 ,!n return+ to ,m4 ,limasset3 8,9 my day1 9 our day1 ,i may say1 ev]ybody _h a respect = au?ority & = duty4 ,education 0 n absolutely neglect$ = in/ruction4 ,y rememb] our *apla91 ! ,abb ,hab]t1 & h[ he c\ld talk8 ,:at heal? he _h6 ,h[ he c\ld walk 9 all sorts ( wea!r )\t an ov]coat6 ,b y1 ,limasset1 h[ old are y8 ,sixty-five1 hey8 ,sixty-five1 & n an a*e6 n "o8 ,d y n ?9k ,i am bett] s9ce ,i h liv$ among ! m\nta9s8 ,i am nev] v ill1 b !re is always "s little ?+ ! matt] ) me4 ,inde$1 ,i w\ld r be really ill4 ,at lea/ ,i %\ld get well !n40 ,if ,i repeat ^! incoh]5t words1 z !y come back to my memory1 my de> ma/]1 x is fir/1 t y may "k ! value ( ! intellect ( ?is man :o1 z my "m has told me1 has br\ght y\r v5]at$ "n into my case2 x is also t y und]/& ) :at feel+s ,i arriv$1 f\r days aft]1 at ! *teau :5 ,i ran into s t]rible dang]s4 ,! m>quis _h accept$ me at ! fir/ visit1 & insi/$ ^u tak+ me ) him 9 8 l&au4 ,dur+ ! j\rney f ,cl]mont to ,aydat1 he _h leisure to tell me ab\t 8 family4 ,he expla9$ ) 8 inv9cible g>rulity1 con/antly int]rupt$ by "s rem>ks ab\t 8 p]son1 t 8 wife & daught] did n c>e mu* = society1 & t !y 7 excell5t h\sekeep]s2 t 8 olde/ son ,c\nt ,&r1 0 home = a =tnight & t ,i mu/ n be annoy$ at 8 brusqu5ess1 = x cov]$ ! be/ ( he>ts1 t 8 o!r son1 ,luci51 _h be5 ail+ & t 8 re/oration to heal? 0 ! mo/ important ?+ ( all4 ,!n at ! ^w heal? he />t$1 &1 aft] an h\r ( confid5ces reg>d+ 8 heada*es1 8 dige/ion1 8 sleep1 8 ailm5ts pa/1 pres5t1 & future1 be+ fatigu$ no d\bt by ! ke5 air & ! flux ( words1 he fell asleep 9 a corn] ( ! c>riage4 ,i recall ! plans :i* ,i =m$ :51 fre$ f ?is torm5tor1 :o 0 already ! object ( my contempt1 ,i look$ at ! beautiful c\ntry ?r\gh :i* we 7 pass+ betwe5 m\nta9 rav9es & woods1 n[ turn+ yell[ 9 ! autumn1 ) ! ,puy de la ,va*e at ! horizon1 ) ! holl[ ( its crat] all pl[$ up1 & q r$ ) volcanic du/4 ,:at ,i _h already se5 ( ! m>quis1 & :at he _h told me ( 8 family1 _h conv9c$ me t ,i 0 ab\t to be exil$ among p :om ,i call$ b>b>ians4 ,i _h giv5 ?is "n to ^? p]sons :om ,i judge to be irrep>able /rang]s to ! intellectual life4 ,! prospect ( ?is exile did n al>m me4 ,! doctr9e by :i* ,i %\ld regulate my exi/5ce 0 s cle> to my m9d6 ,i 0 s resolv$ to live only 9 myself1 to def5d myself aga9/ all intrusion f )\t4 ,! *teau to :i* ,i 0 go+1 & ! p :o inhabit$ x w\ld be only subjects = ! mo/ pr(itable /udy4 ,my programme 0 made out3 dur+ ! twelve or f\rte5 mon?s t ,i %\ld live !re ,i w\ld employ my leisure 9 /udy+ ,g]man1 & 9 ma/]+ ! cont5ts ( 8,beaunais' ,physiology10 :i* 0 9 my small trunk1 b\nd beh9d ! c>riage1 toge!r ) y\r works1 my de> ma/]1 my 8,e?ics10 sev]al volumes ( ,m4 ,ribot1 ( ,m4 ,ta9e1 ( ,h]b]t ,sp5c]1 "s analytical romances & ! books necess>y to ! prep>ation = my lic5tiate4 ,i int5d$ to pass ?is exam9ation 9 ,july4 ,a new notebook await$ ! notes :i* ,i propos$ to make ^u ! "* ( my ho/s4 ,i _h promis$ myself to take !m to pieces1 :eel by :eel1 & ,i _h b\ght = ?is purpose a book1 clos$ by a lock & key1 ^u ! fly-leaf ( :i* ,i _h writt5 ?is s5t5ce f ! 8,anatomy ( ! ,w40 8,sp9oza boa/s ( hav+ /udi$ human s5tim5ts z ! ma!matician /udies 8 geometric figures2 mod]n psy*ology mu/ /udy !m z *emical comb9ations elaborat$ 9 a retort1 :ile regrett+ t ?is retort may n be z transp>5t & z manageable z ^? ( ! laboratory40 ,i tell y ?is *ildi%ness to prove ! degree ( my s9c]ity1 & to %[ h[ little ,i resemble ! poor & ambiti\s "y man t s _m romances h describ$4 ,) my ta/e = duplication1 ,i rememb] to h rem>k$ ?is diff]5ce ) pleasure4 ,i recall$ ,juli5 ,sorel ( 8,r\ge et ,noir10 arriv+ at ! h\se ( ,m4 de ,rnal1 ! temptations ( ,rubempr1 9 ,balzac1 9 front ( ! h\se ( ! ,b>getons1 "s pages also ( ! 8,v+tras de ,valls40 ,i analyz$ ! s5sations :i* 7 conceal$ beh9d ! lu/s & ! revolts ( ^! diff]5t h]oes4 ,!re is always a surprise 9 pass+ f "o society to ano!r1 b !re 0 n a trace ( envy or malici\sness 9 me4 ,i look$ at ! m>quis z he slept1 wrapp$1 on ?is cool ,novemb] aft]noon1 9 a furr$ coat ^: turn$-up coll> half-conceal$ 8 face4 ,a robe ( d>k s(t wool cov]$ 8 legs4 ,d>k embroid]$ sk9 gloves protect$ 8 h&s4 ,8 hat ( felt z f9e z silk 0 pull$ d[n ov] 8 eyes4 ,i only felt t ^! details repres5t$ a k9d ( exi/5ce v diff]5t f ours ) ! poor & petty economy ( our home :i* only my "m's scrupul\s neatness sav$ f meanness4 ,i rejoic$ t ,i did n feel any envy1 n ! lea/ atom1 at ! sight ( ^! signs ( prosp]\s =tune1 nei!r envy nor emb>rassm5t4 ,i _h myself completely "u control1 & 0 /eel$ aga9/ all vulg> prejudice by my doctr9e1 y\r doctr9e1 & by ! sov]eign sup]iority ( my ideas4 ,i w h trac$ a p]fect portrait ( my m9d at ?is "t if ,i add t ,i _h resolv$ to erase love f ! programme ( my life4 ,i _h _h1 s9ce my adv5ture ) ,m>ianne1 ano!r little exp]i5ce1 ) ! wife ( a pr(essor at ! ,lyceum1 s absolutely silly & )al s ridicul\sly pret5ti\s t ,i came out ( x /r5g!n$ 9 my contempt = ! 8,dame10 speak+ aft] ,s*op5hau]1 & also 9 my disgu/ = s5suality4 ,i attribute to ! pr(\nd influ5ces ( ,ca?olic discipl9e ?is repulsion f ! fle% :i* has surviv$ ! dogmas ( spirituality4 ,i "k v well1 f an exp]i5ce too (t5 repeat$1 t ?is repulsion 0 insuffici5t to h9d] pr(\nd relapses1 b ,i dep5d$ ^u ! sil5ce ( ! *teau to free me f all temptation & to practice 9 its full rigor ! great maxim ( ! anci5t sage3 8,=ce all y\r sex to m\nt to ! bra940 ,ah6 ?is idolatry ( ! bra91 ( my ?9k+ ,self1 x has be5 s /rong 9 me t ,i h ?\ght s]i\sly ( /udy+ ! mona/ic rules t ,i might apply !m to ! culture ( my m9d4 ,yes1 ,i h contemplat$ mak+ my m$itations e day1 l ! monks1 ^u ! articles ( my philosophic cr$o1 ( celebrat+ e day1 l ! monks1 ! fte ( "o ( my sa9ts1 ( ,sp9oza1 ( ,hobbes1 ( ,/5dhal1 ( ,/u>t ,mill1 ( y1 my de> ma/]1 9 evok+ ! image & ! doctr9es ( ! initiative ?us *os51 & impregnat+ myself ) 8 example4 ,i "k t all ?is 0 v y\?ful & v nave1 b1 y see1 ,i 0 n su* a man z ?is family /igmatizes to-day1 ! intrigu+ plebeian :o 0 dream+ ( a f9e m>riage1 & ! idea connect+ my life ) t ( ,mlle1 de ,jussat 0 implant$1 inspir$1 s to speak1 by circum/ances4 ,i d n write to y to pa9t myself 9 a romantic light1 & ,i d n "k :y ,i %\ld conceal f y t1 among ! circum/ances :i* urg$ me t[>d ?is ent]prise s f> f my ?\ght on my arrival1 ! fir/ 0 ! impression produc$ on me by ,c\nt ,&r ! bro!r ( ! poor dead girl1 ^: remembrance1 n[ t ,i am approa*+ ! drama1 becomes almo/ a torture2 b let u g back to ?is arrival4 ,x is almo/ five o'clock4 ,! l&au moves rapidly along4 ,! m>quis is awake4 ,he po9ts out ! froz5 bosom ( ! little lake1 all rosy "u a sett+ sun1 :i* empurples ! dri$ foliage ( ! bee*es & oaks2 &1 beyond ! *teau1 a l>ge build+ ( mod]n con/ruction1 :ite1 ) its sl5d] t[]s & its pepp]-box ro(1 gr[s ne>] at e turn ( ! gray road4 ,! /eeple ( a village1 r ( a hamlet1 raises its slates above "s h\ses ) ?at*$ ro(s4 ,x is pass$4 ,we are n[ 9 ! av5ue ( trees :i* leads to ! *teau1 !n be=e ! p]ron & imm$iately 9 ! ve/ibule4 ,we ent]$ ! salon4 ,h[ peaceful x 01 light$ by lamps ) l>ge %ades1 ) ! fire burn+ gayly 9 ! *imney4 ,! ,m>quise de ,jussat ) h] daught]1 0 work+ at "s knitt+ = ! poor2 my future pupil 0 look+ ov] a book ( engrav+s1 z he /ood aga9/ ! op5 piano2 ,mlle4 ,*>lotte's gov]ness & a religieuse 7 seat$1 f>!r (f1 sew+4 ,c\nt ,&r 0 read+ a pap]1 :i* he put d[n at ! mom5t ( our arrival4 ,yes1 ?is 0 a peaceful place1 & :o c\ld h told t my entrance w\ld be ! end ( all peace = ^! p]sons :o 9 an in/ant 7 impress$ on my memory ) ! di/9ctness ( portraits8 ,i notic$ fir/ ! face ( ! m>quise1 a tall & /rong woman ) features slightly gross1 s diff]5t f :at my imag9ation _h conceiv$ ( a great lady4 ,%e 0 truly ! model h\sekeep] :om ! m>quis _h describ$1 b a h\sekeep] ) a f9i%$ education1 & :o put me at once at my ease simply by speak+ ( ! beautiful day t we _h _h = our j\rney4 ,i p]ceiv$ ! inexpressive face ( ,mlle4 ,eliza ,l>geyx1 ! gov]ness1 ) its ev]-approv+ smile2 %e 0 ! innoc5t type ( happy s]vility1 ( a life all complaisance & ( mat]ial happ9ess4 ,!re 0 si/] ,anaclet ) h] peasant's eyes & h] ?9 m\?4 ,%e liv$ p]man5tly at ! *teau t %e might s]ve z nurse = ! m>quis :o 0 always appreh5sive ( a possible attack4 ,!re 0 little ,luci5 ) ! fat *eeks ( ! idle *ild4 ,!re1 too1 0 ! "y girl1 :o is no m1 ) h] beautiful =m 9 its light dress1 h] g5tle gray eyes1 h] *e/nut hair1 & ! delicate outl9e ( h] oval face4 ,i c /ill see ! ge/ure ) :i* %e (f]$ h] h& to h] fa!r & a cup ( tea to me4 ,i he> h] voice say+ to ! m>quis3 8,fa!r1 did y see h[ rosy ! little lake 0 ?is ev5+80 ,& ! voice ( ,m4 de ,jussat respond+ betwe5 two swall[s ( 8 grog3 8,i saw t !re 0 "s fog 9 ! mead[s & "s rheumatism 9 ! air40 ,& ! voice ( ,c\nt ,&r3 8,yes1 b :at f9e %oot+ to-morr[60 !n turn+ to me3 8,d y %oot1 ,monsieur ,greslon80 8,no1 monsieur10 ,i answ]$4 8,d y ride80 he ask$ aga94 8,i d n40 8,i pity y10 said he1 laugh+2 8aft] w>1 ^! are ! two greate/ pleasures t ,i "k (40 ,?is is no?+1 ?is bit ( dialogue1 &1 ?us transcrib$1 x w n expla9 :y ^! simple phrases 7 ! cause ( my reg>d+ ,&r de ,jussat z a be+ ap>t f any ,i _h kn[n until !n2 :y1 :5 ,i _h gone to my room1 :]e a s]vant comm5c$ to unpack my trunk1 ,i ?\ght m ( him ?an ( 8 fragile & graceful si/]3 nor :y1 at d9n] & all ! ev5+1 ,i _h eyes only = him4 ,my nave a/oni%m5t 9 ! pres5ce ( ?is pr\d & manly fell[ 0 d]iv$1 h[ev]1 f a v simple fact2 ,i _h gr[n up 9 a purely intellectual m$ium 9 :i* ! only e/imable =ms ( life 7 ! intellectual4 ,i _h _h = comrades ! fir/ ( my class1 all z delicate & frail z ,i 0 myself1 )\t condesc5d+ ev] to notice ^? :o excell$ 9 ! ex]cises ( ! body1 & :o beside only f\nd 9 ^! ex]cises an excuse = brutality4 ,all my ma/]s :om ,i lik$ be/1 & ! few old fri5ds ( my fa!r1 7 also able m54 ,:5 ,i _h pictur$ ! h]oes ( romance1 !y 7 always m5tal ma*9es m or less complicat$2 b ,i _h nev] imag9$ _! physical condition4 ,if ,i _h ev] ?\ght ( ! sup]iority :i* ! beautiful & firm animal en]gy ( man repres5ts1 x 0 9 an ab/ract mann]1 b ,i _h nev] felt x4 ,c\nt ,&r1 :o 0 ?irty ye>s old1 pres5t$ an admirable example ( ?is sup]iority4 ,figure to y\rself a man ( m$ium size1 b lu/y z an a?lete1 ) broad %\ld]s & a sl5d] wai/1 ge/ures :i* betray$ /r5g? & suppl5ess--ge/ures 9 :i* "o felt t ! movem5t 0 di/ribut$ ) t p]fection :i* gives adroit & precise agility--h&s & feet n]v\s1 %[+ race1 ) a m>tial c\nt5ance1 "o ( ^? bi/re complexions beh9d :i* ! blood fl[s1 ri* 9 iron & 9 globules2 a squ>e =ehead "u bu%y black hair1 a mu/a*e ( ! same color ov] a firm & tightly clos$ m\?1 br[n eyes1 v ne> to a nose :i* 0 slightly ar*$1 :i* gives to ! pr(ile a vague sugge/ion ( a bird ( prey4 ,la/ a bold *91 squ>ely cut1 complet$ ! physiognomy ( a "* ( inv9cible w4 ,& ! w is ! :ole p]son2 action made man4 ,x seem$ z if !re 7 9 ?is (fic]1 brok5 to all bodily ex]cises1 ready = all exploits1 no rupture ( equilibrium betwe5 ?\ght & action1 & t 8 :ole be+ pass$ entire into 8 smalle/ ge/ures4 ,i h se5 him m\nt a horse s z to realize ! anci5t fable ( ! ,c5taur1 put t5 balls 9 succession at ?irty paces into a play+ c>d1 leap dit*es ) ! lightness ( a pr(essional gymna/1 & sometimes1 to amuse 8 "y bro!r1 leap ov] a table1 only t\*+ x ) 8 h&s4 ,i knew t1 dur+ ! w> & ?\gh only sixte5 ye>s old1 he _h enli/$ & made ! campaign ( ! ,loire1 be>+ all fatigues & inspir+ ev5 ! vet]ans ) c\rage4 ,z ,i saw him at d9n] ?is fir/ ev5+1 eat+ /eadily1 ) t f9e humor ( appetite :i* reveals ! fall life2 speak+ little1 b ) a comm&+ voice1 ,i felt 9 a surpris+ degree ! impression t ,i 0 9 ! pres5ce ( a creature diff]5t f myself1 b f9i%$ & complete ( 8 k9d4 ,x seems to me z ?\gh ?is sc5e dates f ye/]day1 & t ,i am !re1 :ile ! m>quis plays bezique ) 8 daught]1 talk+ ) ! m>quise1 & /eal?ily wat*+ ,c\nt ,&r play at billi>ds alone4 ,i saw him ?r\gh ! op5 door1 supple & robu/ 9 8 ev5+ dress ( "s light mat]ial1 a cig> 9 ! corn] ( 8 m\?1 pu%+ ! balls ab\t ) a precision s p]fect t x 0 beautiful2 & ,i1 y\r pupil1 ,i1 s pr\d ( ! amplitude ( my m9d1 foll[$ ) op5 m\? ! slighte/ ge/ures ( ?is "y man :o 0 absorb$ 9 a sport s vulg>1 ) ! k9d ( envi\s admiration :i* a le>n$ monk ( ! middle ages1 unskillful 9 all muscul> games1 mu/ h felt 9 pres5ce ( a knight 9 armor4 ,:5 ,i use ! ^w envy ,i beg y to und]/& me1 & n to attribute to me a bas5ess :i* 0 nev] m9e4 ,nei!r ?is ev5+ nor dur+ ! days :i* foll[$ 0 ,i ev] jeal\s ( ! "n ( ,c\nt ,&r1 nor ( 8 =tune1 nor ( any ( ! social advantages :i* he possess$1 & ( :i* ,i 0 s depriv$4 ,nei!r h ,i felt t /range hate ( ! male = ! male1 v f9ely not$ by y 9 y\r pages on love4 ,my "m _h _h ! weakness to tell me (t5 9 my *ildhood t ,i 0 a pretty boy4 ,)\t be+ a coxcomb1 ,i may say t !re 0 no?+ displeas+ 9 me1 nei!r 9 my face nor 9 my figure4 ,i say ?is to y1 n f vanity1 b to prove t !re 0 n an atom ( vanity 9 ! sort ( sudd5 rivalry :i* made me an adv]s>y1 almo/ an enemy1 ( ,c\nt ,&r f ?is fir/ ev5+4 ,!re 0 z mu* admiration z envy 9 ?is antipa?y4 ,^u reflection1 ,i f9d 9 ! s5tim5t :i* ,i h tri$ to def9e ! probable trace ( an unconsci\s atavism4 ,i que/ion$ ! m>quis lat]1 ^: ari/ocratic pride ,i ?us flatt]$1 ^u ! g5ealogy ( ! ,jussat-,r&ons1 & ,i believe t !y are ( a pure & conqu]+ race1 :ile 9 ! ve9s ( ! desc5dant ( ! ,lorra9e f>m]s :o writes ^! l9es to y fl[s ! blood ( ance/ors :o _h be5 slaves ( ! soil = c5turies4 ,c]ta9ly1 betwe5 my bra9 & t ( ,c\nt ,&r !re is ! same diff]5ce z !re is betwe5 m9e & y\rs1 great]1 s9ce ,i c compreh5d y & ,i defy him to foll[ my reason+s1 ev5 t :i* ,i am pursu+ n[1 ^u our relations4 ,to speak frankly1 ,i am a civiliz$ be+1 he is only a b>b>ian4 ,b ,i felt imm$iately ! s5sation t my ref9em5t 0 less ari/ocratic ?an 8 b>b>ism4 ,i felt !re1 at once1 & 9 ! dep?s ( ?is in/9ct ( life1 into :i* ! m9d desc5ds ) mu* difficulty1 ! revelation ( ?is prec$5ce ( race :i* mod]n sci5ce affirms ( all nature & :i*1 by consequ5ce1 mu/ be true also ( man4 ,:y ev5 use ?is ^w envy1 :i* s]ves z ! label ( irrational ho/ilities l ^? ) :i* ! c\nt imm$iately inspir$ me8 ,:y %\ld n ?is ho/ility be inh]it$ l ! re/8 ,any human acquisition :atev]1 t = example ( "* & ( active en]gy1 implies t1 dur+ c5turies & c5turies1 files ( individuals ( :i* "o is ! supreme addition1 h act$ & will$4 ,dur+ ?is long succession ( ye>s1 an antipa?y1 sometimes cle> & sometimes obscure1 has r5d]$ ! individuals ( ! fir/ gr\p odi\s to individuals ( ! second1 & :5 two repres5tatives ( ?is sov]eign labor ( ages1 also typical ea* 9 8 k9d z 7 ! c\nt & myself1 meet1 :y n /& up ! "o 9 face ( ! o!r1 l two bea/s ( diff]5t species8 ,! horse t has nev] be5 ne> a lion trembles ) fright :5 8 b$ is made ( ! /raw ^u :i* "o ( ^! creatures has slept4 ,!n fe> is inh]it$1 & is n fe> "o =m ( hate8 ,:y is n all hate inh]it$8 ,& 9 hundr$s ( cases envy w\ld be1 z x surely 0 9 m9e1 only ! e*o ( hates =m]ly felt by ^? ^: sons we are1 & :o cont9ue to pursue1 ?r\gh u1 ! combats ( he>t begun c5turies ago4 ,!re is a curr5t prov]b t antipa?ies are mutual1 & if x is admitt$ my hypo!sis ^u ! secul> orig9 ( antipa?ies becomes v simple4 ,x happ5s1 h[ev]1 t ?is antipa?y does n manife/ itself 9 ! two be+s at once4 ,?is is ! case :5 "o ( ! two does n deign to notice ! o!r1 & also :5 ! o!r dissimulates4 ,i d n believe t ,c\nt ,&r exp]i5c$ at fir/ ! av]sion t he w\ld h felt if he _h read to ! bottom ( my s\l4 ,9 ! beg9n+ he paid v little att5tion to a "y man ( ,cl]mont :o _h come to ! *teau to be tutor2 !n ,i _h decid$ on a con/ant dissimulation ( my real ,self1 imprison$ among /rang]s4 ,i felt no m repugnance = ?is def5sive hypocrisy ?an ! g>d5] w\ld h _h 9 putt+ /raw ar\nd ! currant bu%es to pres]ve _! fruit aga9/ sn[s & fro/s4 ,! fals5ess ( attitude correspond$ too well ) my intellectual pride to prev5t me f giv+ myself up to x ) delight4 ,on ! o!r h& ,c\nt ,&r _h no motive = conceal+ 8 "* f me1 & on ?is same ev5+1 at ! h\r ( retir+1 he ask$ me to come into 8 /udy to talk a little4 ,he _h h>dly look$ at me1 & ,i und]/ood pla9ly t 8 int5tion 0 n to put any m famili>ity betwe5 u1 b to give me 8 op9ions on my rle z preceptor4 ,he occupi$ a suite ( ?ree rooms 9 a w+ ( ! *teau1 a b$room1 a dress+-room & ! smok+-room 9 :i* we n[ f\nd ourselves4 ,a l>ge uphol/]$ divan1 sev]al arm*airs & a massive desk1 con/itut$ ! furniture ( ?is room4 ,on ! walls glitt]$ arms ( all k9ds1 guns ( ,tangi]s1 sabres & muskets ( ! fir/ empire1 & a ,prussian helmet1 :i* ! c\nt po9t$ out to me almo/ z soon z we _h ent]$4 ,he _h light$ a %ort bri]wood pipe1 prep>$ two glasses ( br&y mix$ ) seltz] wat]1 & lamp 9 h&1 he %[$ me ! helmet say+3 8,i am v sure t ,i knock$ t fell[ ov]4 ,y d n "k any?+ ab\t ! s5sation ( hold+ an enemy at ! po9t ( y\r gun1 ( tak+ aim1 ( see+ him fall1 & ?9k+3 ,ano!r "o gone8 ,x happ5$ 9 a village n f> f ,orlans4 ,i 0 on gu>d at daybreak1 9 a corn] ( ! cemet]y4 ,i saw a head above ! wall1 x look$ ov]1 !n ! %\ld]s foll[$4 ,x 0 ?is inquisitive fell[ :o want$ to see :at we 7 do+4 ,he did n g back to tell40 ,he put d[n ! lamp1 &1 aft] laugh+ a little at ?is remembrance1 he became s]i\s4 ,i _h felt oblig$1 = ! sake ( polit5ess1 to moi/5 my lips 9 ! mixture ( gase\s wat] & alcohol1 & ! c\nt cont9u$3 8,i wi%$ to talk ) y ab\t ,luci51 monsieur1 to expla9 8 "* & 9 :at way he is to be direct$4 ,8 old tutor 0 an excell5t man1 b v weak1 v indol5t4 ,i h enc\rag$ y\r com+ because y are a "y man1 & a "y man is m suitable = ,luci54 ,tea*+1 monsieur1 is worse ?an no?+1 sometimes1 :5 x falsifies ideas4 ,! great ?+ 9 ?is life1 ,i ought almo/ say ! only ?+1 is "*40 ,he made a pause z if to ask my op9ion1 ,i answ]$ ) "s banal phrase :i* support$ 8 view4 8,v well10 he cont9u$1 8we und]/& "o ano!r4 ,at pres5t1 = a man ( our "n1 !re is 9 ,france only "o pr(ession1 t ( a soldi]4 ,s long z our c\ntry is 9 ! h&s ( ! canaille & s long z we h ! ,g]mans to fight1 our duty is 9 ! only place t rema9s to u--! army4 ,?ank ,god my fa!r & my "m %>e ^! op9ions4 ,luci5 w be a soldi]1 & a soldi] has no ne$ ( kn[+ all t ! p prate ab\t to-day4 ,hav+ honor1 sangfroid1 muscles & lov+ ,france1 ev]y?+ is "r4 ,i _h all ! tr\ble 9 ! _w to take my degree4 ,?is ye> mu/ be = ,luci51 above ev]y?+ else1 a ye> ( outdoor life2 &1 = /udies1 ^! mu/ be conv]sations only4 ,x is to y\r talks ) him t ,i wi% to call y\r att5tion4 ,y mu/ insi/ on ! practical1 on ! positive1 & on pr9ciples4 ,he has "s faults :i* mu/ be correct$4 ,y w f9d him v good1 b v s(t2 he mu/ le>n to endure40 8,insi/1 = example1 ^u 8 go+ out 9 all sorts ( wea!r1 t he walk two or ?ree h\rs e day4 ,he is v inexact1 & ,i insi/ t he %all become z punctual z a *ronomet]4 ,he also is untru?ful4 ,i ?9k ?is ! mo/ horrible ( vices4 ,i c p>don ev]y?+1 yes1 _m1 _m follies4 ,i nev] =give a falsehood4 ,we h _h1 f my fa!r's old ma/]1 su* good recomm5dation ( y1 ( y\r life ) y\r "m1 ( y\r dignity1 ( y\r /rictness1 t we dep5d v mu* on y\r influ5ce4 ,y\r age p]mits y to be z mu* a companion z a preceptor = ,luci54 ,example1 y see1 is ! be/ k9d ( tea*+4 ,tell a conscript t x is a noble & f9e ?+ to m>* up to ! fire1 & he w li/5 to y )\t und]/&+ y4 ,m>* 9 front ( him1 swagg]+1 & he becomes m ( a blu/]] ?an y are4 8,z = me1 ,i rejo9 my regim5t 9 a few days1 b abs5t or pres5t1 y c dep5d on my support2 if x %\ld ev] be a "q :at to d1 t ?is *ild become :at he ought to become1 a man :o c s]ve 8 c\ntry bravely1 &1 if ,god p]mit1 8 k+40 ,?is disc\rse1 :i* ,i believe ,i h fai?fully reproduc$1 did n at all a/oni% me4 ,x 0 q natural 9 a h\se 9 :i* ! fa!r 0 an old monomaniac1 ! "m a simple h\sekeep]1 ! si/] "y & timid1 t ! olde/ bro!r %\ld hold a direct+ place1 & talk ) ! new preceptor4 ,x 0 also q natural t a soldi] & a g5tleman educat$ 9 ! ideas ( 8 class & ( 8 pr(ession %\ld speak z a soldi] & a g5tleman4 ,y1 my de> ma/]1 ) y\r univ]sal compreh5sion ( natures1 ) y\r facility 9 dis5tangl+ ! l9e :i* unites ! temp]am5t & ! m$ium ( ideas1 y w\ld h se5 9 ,c\nt ,&r a v def9ite & significant case4 ,& = :at _h ,i prep>$ my lock$ notebook if n to collect docum5ts ( ?is k9d ^u human nature8 ,& 0 !re n "h ev]y?+ new 9 ! p]son ( ?is (fic]1 s s+le & s simple1 :o manife/$ a mode ( ?\ght evid5tly id5tical ) 8 mode ( be+1 brea?+1 mov+1 smok+ & eat+8 ,ah6 ,i see too well t my philosophy 0 n z blood 9 my ve9s1 z m>r[ 9 my bones1 = ?is disc\rse & ! convictions x express$1 in/ead ( pleas+ me by ?is r>e enc\nt] ( logic1 only enl>g$ ! w\nd ( antipa?y :i* _h be5 already op5$1 ,i knew n :]e1 9 my self-love p]haps1 = ,i 0 weak & frail 9 ! pres5ce ( ! /rong--surely 9 my inmo/ s5sibility4 ,none ( ! c\nt's ideas _h ! lea/ value 9 my eyes4 ,!y 7 = me pure fooli%ness1 & in/ead ( despis+ ?is fooli%ness1 z ,i %\ld h despis$ x 9 any o!r case1 ,i began to hate x 9 8 m\?4 ,a soldi]'s pr(ession8 ,i consid]$ x s wret*$1 because ( its brutal associations & ! "t lo/1 t ,i 0 glad t ,i 0 ! son ( a wid[ t ,i might escape ! b>b>ity ( ! b>racks & ! mis]ies ( its discipl9e4 ,! hatr$ ( ,g]many8 ,i _h tri$ to de/roy x 9 myself1 z ! wor/ ( prejudices1 f disgu/ ( ! imbecile comrades :om ,i saw exalt x into an ignorant patriotism1 & also f admiration = ! p to :om psy*ology owes ,kant & ,s*op5hau]1 ,lotze & ,fe*n]1 ,helmholz & ,wundt4 ,political fai?8 ,i pr(ess$ an equal disda9 = ! gross hypo!ses :i*1 "u ! "n ( legitism1 republicanism1 ,cs>ism1 pret5d$ to gov]n a c\ntry a priori4 ,i dream$ ) ! au?or ( ! 8,dialogues ,philosophiques10 ( an olig>*y ( savants1 a despotism ( psy*ologi/s & economi/s1 ( physiologi/s & hi/orians4 ,practical life8 ,?is 0 a dim9i%$ life = me1 :o saw 9 ! ext]nal _w only a field ( exp]i5ces 9 :i* an enfran*is$ s\l v5tures ) prud5ce1 j f> en\gh to collect emotions4 ,f9ally ?is contempt = falsehood :i* ! c\nt pr(ess$ /ruck me z an affront1 at ! same "t t 8 absolute confid5ce 9 my morality1 bas$ ^u a false impression ( me1 emb>rass$ me1 *ill$ me1 hurt me4 ,c]ta9ly ! contradiction 0 piquant2 ,i consid]$ ! portrait :i* my fa!r's old fri5d _h drawn2 x pleas$ me 9 a c]ta9 way t !y %\ld believe x l me1 & ,i felt irritat$ t he1 ,c\nt ,&r1 did n di/ru/ me4 ,b :at does t prove1 if n t we nev] ?or\ghly "k ourselves8 ,y h magnific5tly said1 my de> ma/]3 8,our /ates ( consci\sness are l isl&s ^u an ocean ( d>kness ^: f\ndations are =ev] be+ remov$4 ,x is ! "w ( ! psy*ologi/ to div9e by s\nd+s ! gr\nd :i* makes ( ^! isles ! visible summits ( a m\nta9 *a91 invisible & immovable "u ! mov+ mass ( wat]s40 ,i h n describ$ ?is fir/ ev5+ at ! *teau because x _h any imm$iate consequ5ces1 = ,i retir$ aft] assur+ ,c\nt ,&r t ,i 0 entirely ( 8 op9ion 9 reg>d to 8 "y bro!r1 &1 hav+ rea*$ my room1 ,i conf9$ myself to consign+ ^! words to my notebook1 ) comm5ts m or less disda9ful2 b ^! fir/ impressions w help y to und]/& "s analog\s impressions :i* foll[$1 & ! unexpect$ crisis :i* result$ f !m4 ,x is "o ( ^? subm>9e *a9s ( :i* y speak1 & :i* ,i f9d to-day :5 ,i ?r[ ! s\nd to ! v bottom ( my he>t4 ,"u ! influ5ce ( y\r books1 & ( y\r example1 ,i became m & m intellectualiz$1 & ,i believ$ t ,i _h def9itely r5\nc$ ! morbid curiosity ( ! passions :i* _h made me f9d exquisite pleasure 9 my guilty read+s4 ,?us we reta9 portions ( ! s\l :i* 7 v mu* alive1 & :i* we believe to be dead1 b :i* are only dr[s+4 ,& s little by little1 aft] an acqua9tance ( only fifte5 days ) ?is man1 my eld] by n9e or t5 ye>s1 & :o 01 all reality1 all en]gy1 ?is purely speculative exi/5ce ( :i* ,i _h s s9c]ely dream$1 began to seem--h[ %all ,i express x8 ,inf]ior8 ,oh1 no1 = ,i w\ld n h cons5t$1 at ! price ( an empire1 to become ,c\nt ,&r1 ev5 ) 8 "n1 8 =tune1 8 physical sup]iority1 & 8 ideas4 ,discolor$8 ,n ev5 t4 ,! ^w incomplete appe>s to me ! only "o :i* expresses ! s+ul> disfavor :i* ! sudd5 comp>ison betwe5 ! c\nt & myself diffus$ ov] my own convictions4 ,x is 9 ?is feel+ ( incomplet5ess t ! pr9cipal temptation ( :i* ,i 0 ! victim resides4 ,!re is no?+ v orig9al1 ,i believe1 9 ! /ate ( m9d ( a man :o1 hav+ cultivat$ to excess ! faculty ( ?\ght1 meets ano!r man hav+ cultivat$ to ! same degree ! faculty ( action & :o feels himself torm5t$ ) no/algia 9 pres5ce ( ?is action1 h[ev] despis$4 ,goe! has drawn ! :ole ( 8 ,fau/ f ?is no/algia4 ,i 0 n a ,fau/4 ,i _h n1 l ! old doctor1 dra9$ ! cup ( ,sci5ce2 & yet1 ,i mu/ believe t my /udies ( ^! la/ ye>s1 by ov]excit+ me 9 "o direction1 _h left 9 me unemploy$ p[]s1 :i* trembl$ ) emulation at ! approa* ( ?is repres5tative ( ano!r race ( m54 ,:ile admir+ him1 envy+ & despis+ him at ! same "t1 dur+ ! days :i* foll[$1 ,i c\ld n prev5t my m9d f ?9k+4 ,& ,i ?\ght3 8,t man :o w\ld value him = 8 activity & me = my ?\ght1 w\ld truly be ! sup]ior man t ,i h desir$ to become40 ,b d n action & ?\ght exclude "o ano!r8 ,!y 7 n incompatible at ! ,r5aissance & lat]1 ,goe! has inc>nat$ 9 himself ! d\ble de/9y ( ,fau/1 by turns philosoph] & c\rti]1 poet & m9i/]2 ,/5dhal 0 romanc] & lieut5ant ( dragoons2 ,con/ant 0 ! au?or ( 8,adolphe0 & a fi]y orator1 z well z dueli/1 actor & lib]t9e4 ,?is f9i%$ culture ( ! 8,i10 :i* ,i _h made ! f9al result1 ! supreme end ( my doctr9es1 0 x )\t ?is d\ble play ( ! faculties1 ?is p>allelism ( ! life liv$ & ! life ?\ght8 ,probably my fir/ regret at feel+ myself ?us dispossess$ ( a :ole _w1 t ( fact1 0 only pride4 ,b ) me1 & by ! ess5tially philosophic nature ( my be+1 s5sations are imm$iately trans=m$ into ideas4 ,! smalle/ accid5ts appe> 9 my m9d to /ate g5]al problems4 ,e ev5t ( my de/9y leads me to "s !ory on ! de/9y ( all4 ,"h1 :]e ano!r man w\ld h said3 8,x is a pity t fate %\ld h p]mitt$ a s+le k9d ( developm5t10 ,i took x on myself to ask if ,i 7 n deceiv$ 9 ! law ( all developm5t4 ,s9ce ,i _h1 ?anks to y\r admirable books1 fre$ my s\l & ca/ to e>? my va9 religi\s t]rors1 ,i _h reta9$ only "o ( my old1 pi\s practices1 ! habit ( daily exam9+ my consci5ce1 "u ! =m ( a j\rnal1 & f "t to "t ,i made :at ,i call$ an orison4 ,i transport$1 ) a s+ul> enjoym5t1 ! t]ms ( religion into ! realm ( my p]sonal s5sibility4 ,i call$ t aga9 ! liturgy ( ! 8,i40 ,"o ev5+ ( ! second week ( my /ay at ! *teau1 ,i employ$ sev]al h\rs 9 writ+ out a g5]al confession1 t is to say1 9 draw+ a picture ( my div]se in/9cts s9ce ! fir/ awak5+ ( my consci\sness4 ,i arriv$ at ?is conclusion1 t ! ess5tial trait ( my nature1 ! *>act]i/ic ( my inmo/ be+1 _h always be5 ! faculty ( duplication4 ,t means t ,i _h always felt a t5d5cy to be at once passionate & reflective1 to live & to see myself live4 ,b by imprison+ myself1 z ,i wi%$1 9 pure reflection1 by neglect+ to live & to h only "o eye op5 ^u life1 did ,i n risk resembl+ t ,amiel ^: dolor\s j\rnal appe>$ at t "t1 & /]iliz+ myself by ! abuse ( analysis to empt9ess8 ,9 va9 did y\r image return to me to re9=ce me 9 my resolution to live an ab/ract exi/5ce4 ,i recall ! phrases on love 9 ! 8,!ory ( ! ,passion10 & ,i saw y1 at my age1 ab&on+ y\rself to ! culpable exp]i5ces :i* already obscurely tempt$ me4 ,i d n "k if ?is *emi/ry ( s\l1 s v complex & v s9c]e1 w seem suffici5tly lucid4 ,! "w by :i* an emotion is elaborat$ 9 u1 & ends by resolv+ itself into an idea1 rema9s s obscure t ! idea is1 sometimes1 exactly contr>y to t :i* simple reason c\ld h =ese56 ,w\ld x n h be5 natural1 = example1 t ! k9d ( admir+ antipa?y r\s$ 9 me by my enc\nt] ) ,c\nt ,&r %\ld h end$ ei!r 9 a decl>$ repulsion1 or 9 a def9ite admiration8 ,9 ! fir/ case1 ,i %\ld h ?r[n myself m into sci5ce1 & 9 ! o!r1 h desir$ a m active morality1 a m practical virility 9 my actions4 ,b ! natural = ea* "o1 is 8 own nature4 ,m9e will$ t ! admir+ antipa?y = ! c\nt %\ld become a pr9ciple ( criticism1 9 reg>d to myself1 t ?is criticism %\ld produce a new !ory ( life1 t ?is !ory %\ld reveal my native disposition = passional curiosity1 t ! :ole %\ld dissolve itself into a no/algia ( s5tim5tal exp]i5ces & t1 j at ?is mom5t1 a "y girl %\ld ent] into my life ^: pres5ce alone w\ld h suffic$ to provoke ! desire to please 9 any "y man ( my age4 ,b ,i 0 too intellectual = ?is desire to be born 9 my he>t )\t pass+ ?r\gh my head4 ,at lea/1 if ,i felt ! *>m ( grace & delicacy :i* emanat$ f ?is *ild ( tw5ty ye>s1 ,i felt x :ile believ+ t ,i reason$ ab\t x4 ,!re are times :5 ,i ask myself if x 0 s1 times :5 all my hi/ory appe>s m simple1 & ,i say3 8,i 0 hone/ly 9 love ) ,*>lotte1 because %e 0 pretty1 ref9$ & t5d]1 & ,i 0 "y2 !n ,i gave "s pretexts ( ! bra9 because ,i 0 a man pr\d ( ideas & did n wi% to love l o!r m540 ,ah6 :at a com=t :5 ,i p]suade myself to speak 9 ?is way6 ,i c pity myself in/ead ( be+ a horror to myself1 z happ5s :5 ,i recall ! cold resolution1 :i* ,i *]i%$ 9 my m9d1 consign$ to my notebook1 & v]ifi$ alas6 by ! ev5t1 ! resolution1 to injure ?is girl )\t lov+ h]1 f motives ( purely psy*ological curiosity1 f ! pleasure ( act+1 ( gov]n+ a liv+ s\l1 ( contemplat+ at w & directly ?is me*anism ( passion :i* ,i _h until !n only /udi$ 9 books1 f ! vanity ( enri*+ my m9d by a new exp]i5ce4 ,b x is well1 ,i c\ld n h wi%$ o!rwise1 impell$ z ,i 0 by my h]$ities & my education1 remov$ into ! new m$ium :]e ,i 0 ?r[n by *ance1 & bitt51 z ,i 0 by ?is f]oci\s _s ( rivalry aga9/ ! insol5t "y man :o 0 my opposite8 ,b ?is pure & t5d] girl 0 wor?y ( meet+ a man :o 0 n a cold & murd]\s calculat+ ma*9e4 ,only to ?9k ( h] melts & r5ds my he>t4 ,i did n notice at fir/ sight t p]fection ( ! l9es ( ! face1 t brilliance ( complexion1 t royalty ( be>+ :i* di/+ui%es ! v beautiful woman4 ,ev]y?+ 9 h] physiognomy 0 a delicate demi-t9t1 f ! %ade ( h] *e/nut hair to ! mi/y gray ( h] eyes & to h] complexion :i* 0 nei!r pale nor rosy4 ,"o ?\ght ( mode/y :5 /udy+ h] expression1 & ( fragility :5 rem>k+ h] feet1 & h&s1 & ! almo/ too m9ute grace ( h] movem5ts4 ,al?\gh %e 0 r %ort1 %e appe>$ tall because ( ! noble way 9 :i* h] head 0 set on h] sl5d] neck4 ,if ,c\nt ,&r reproduc$ "o ( _! common ance/ors by an evid5t atavism1 %e resembl$ h] fa!r1 b ) s *>m+ an ideality ( l9es t "o c\ld n admit ! resemblance unless !y 7 side by side4 ,x 0 easy1 h[ev]1 to recognize 9 h] ! n]v\s disposition :i* produc$ hypo*ondria 9 h] fa!r4 ,*>lotte _h a s5sibility :i* 0 almo/ morbid1 :i* 0 reveal$ at times by a slight tremul\sness ( h&s & lips1 ^? beautiful s9u\s lips :]e dwelt a goodness almo/ div9e4 ,h] firm *9 %[$ a r>e /r5g? ( w 9 s frail an envelope1 & ,i n[ und]/& t ! dep? ( h] eyes1 sometimes motionless z if fix$ on "s object visible to h]self alone1 betray$ a fatal t5d5cy to a fix$ idea4 ,! fir/ trait t ,i specially obs]v$ 0 h] extreme k9dness1 & ?is 0 br\ght to my notice by little ,luci54 ,! *ild told me t 8 si/] _h sev]al times wi%$ him to ask me if !re 0 any?+ lack+ 9 my room4 ,?is is a v pu]ile detail1 b x t\*$ me because ,i felt v lonely 9 ?is great h\se :]e no p]son1 s9ce my arrival1 _h seem$ to pay ! lea/ att5tion to me4 ,! m>quis appe>$ only at d9n]1 wrapp$ 9 a robe-de-*ambre & groan+ ov] 8 heal? or politics4 ,! m>quise 0 occupi$ 9 mak+ ! *teau com=table1 & held long conf]5ces ) an uphol/]] f ,cl]mont4 ,c\nt ,&r rode 9 ! morn+1 hunt$ 9 ! aft]noon1 &1 9 ! ev5+1 smok$ 8 cig>s )\t ev] address+ a ^w to me4 ,! gov]ness & ! religieuse look$ at "o ano!r & look$ at me ) a discretion :i* froze me4 ,my pupil 0 an idle & dull boy1 :o _h ! r$eem+ quality ( be+ v simple1 v confid+1 & ( tell+ me all t ,i wi%$ to "k ( himself & ! re/ ( 8 family4 ,i le>n$ 9 ?is way t _! /ay 9 ! c\ntry ?is ye> 0 ! "w ( ,c\nt ,&r1 :i* did n a/oni% me 9 ! lea/1 = ,i felt m & m t he 0 ! real head ( ! family2 ,i le>n$ t ! ye> prec$+ he _h wi%$ to m>ry 8 si/] to "o ( 8 comrades1 a ,m4 de ,plane1 :om ,*>lotte _h refus$1 & :o _h gone to ,tonqu94 ,9 our two daily classes1 "o 9 ! morn+ f eight o'clock to half-pa/ n9e1 ! o!r 9 ! aft]noon f ?ree o'clock until half-pa/ f\r1 ,i _h a great deal ( tr\ble to fix ! att5tion ( ! little idl]4 ,seat$ on 8 *air1 opposite me on ! o!r side ( ! table1 & roll+ 8 tongue aga9/ 8 *eek1 :ile he cov]$ ! pap] ) 8 big awkw>d writ+1 he w\ld n[ & !n glance up at me4 ,he notic$ on my face ! lea/ sign ( ab/raction4 ,) ! animal & sure in/9ct ( *ildr51 he soon saw t ,i w\ld make him g on ) 8 lessons less quickly :5 he talk$ to me ( 8 bro!r or si/]1 & s ?is innoc5t m\? reveal$ to me t !re 01 9 ?is cold1 /range h\se1 "s "o :o ?\ght ( me & ( my com=t4 ,my "m _h fail$ s mu* 9 ?is reg>d1 al?\gh ,i might n wi% to confess x6 ,& x 0 ?is act ( simple polit5ess :i* made me reg>d ,mlle4 de ,jussat ) m att5tion4 ,! second trait t ,i discov]$ 9 h] 0 a ta/e = ! romantic1 n t %e _h read _m romances1 b z ,i h already told y1 h] s5sibility 0 extreme1 & ?is _h giv5 h] an appreh5sion ( ! real4 ,)\t h]self suspect+ x %e 0 v diff]5t f h] fa!r1 h] "m & h] bro!rs2 & %e c\ld nei!r %[ h]self to !m 9 ! tru? ( h] nature1 nor see !m 9 ! tru? ( !irs )\t suff]+4 ,s %e did %[ h]self1 & %e =c$ h]self n to see !m4 ,%e =m$1 spontane\sly & +5u\sly1 op9ions ( ^? %e lov$ :i* 7 9 h>mony ) h] own he>t & s directly contr>y to ! evid5ce t !y w\ld h seem$ false or flatt]+ 9 ! eyes ( a malevol5t obs]v]4 ,%e w\ld say to h] "m1 :o 0 s ord9>y & mat]ial3 8,mamma1 y are s quick to see20 to h] fa!r s cruelly egoti/ical3 8,y are s k9d1 papa10 & to h] bro!r :o 0 s positive1 s self-suffici5t3 8,y und]/& ev]y?+10 & %e believ$ x4 ,b ! delusion 9 :i* ?is g5tle creature imprison$ h]self1 left h] a prey to ! mo/ complete moral solitude1 & depriv$ h]1 to a v dang]\s degree1 ( all judgm5t ( "*4 ,%e 0 z ignorant ( h]self z ( o!rs4 ,%e langui%$1 unkn[n to h]self1 = ! society ( "s "o :o %\ld h s5tim5ts 9 h>mony ) h] own4 ,= example1 ,i obs]v$ 9 ! fir/ walks t we took toge!r1 t %e 0 ! only "o :o c\ld really feel ! beauty ( ! l&scape =m$ by ! lake1 ! woods t surr\nd x1 ! di/ant volcanoes & ! autumn sky1 (t5 m blue ?an ! sky ( summ] because ( ! contra/ ( its azure ) ! gold ( ! leaves1 & :i* 0 sometimes s veil$1 s sadly vapor\s & di/ant4 ,%e w\ld fall into sil5ce )\t any app>5t reason1 b really because h] :ole be+ became dissolv$ into ! *>m ( ?+s ab\t h]4 ,%e possess$ 9 ! /ate ( pure in/9ct & unconsci\s s5sation ! faculty :i* makes ! great poets & ! great lov]s1 namely1 ! faculty ( =gett+ oneself1 ( dispell+ oneself1 ( los+ oneself entirely 9 :atev] t\*es ! he>t1 :e!r x be a veil$ horizon1 a sil5t & yell[-t9t$ =e/1 a piece ( music or a t\*+ /ory4 ,i did n1 at ! beg9n+ ( our acqua9tance1 =mulate ! contra/ betwe5 t combative animal h] bro!r & ?is creature ( sweetness & grace :o ran up ! /one /aircases ( ! *teau ) a /ep s light t x seem$ sc>cely pois$1 & ^: smile 0 s welcom+ & yet s timid4 ,i w d>e to tell all1 s9ce ,i repeat x1 ,i am n writ+ 9 ord] to pa9t myself 9 beautiful colors1 b to %[ myself z ,i am4 ,i w n say t ! desire to make myself belov$ by ?is adorable *ild1 9 ^: atmosph]e ,i began to feel s mu* pleasure1 0 n caus$ by ?is contra/ betwe5 h] & h] bro!r4 ,p]haps ! s\l ( ?is "y girl became z a field ( battle = ! secret1 ! obscure antipa?y :i* two weeks _h trans=m$ into hate8 ,p]haps !re 0 conceal$ ! cruel pleasure ( humiliat+ ! soldi]1 ! g5tleman1 by outrag+ him 9 :at he held mo/ preci\s8 ,i "k t ?is is horrible1 b ,i %\ld n be wor?y ( be+ y\r pupil if ,i did n disclose ! l[e/ dep? ( my he>t4 ,&1 aft] all1 ?is odi\s cl\d ( s5sations may be only a necess>y ph5om5on1 l ! o!rs1 l ! romantic grace ( ,*>lotte1 l ! simple en]gy ( h] bro!r1 & l my own complexities--s obscure ev5 to myself4 ,,iv4 ,,! ,,fir/ ,,crisis4 ,i rememb] v di/9ctly ! day on :i* ! project ( w9n+ ! love ( ! si/] ( ,c\nt ,&r pres5t$ itself to me1 no long] z a romantically vision>y idea1 b z a precise possibility1 ne>1 almo/ imm$iate4 ,aft] ,i _h be5 at ! *teau two mon?s ,i w5t to ,cl]mont to pass ! ,new-,ye> holidays ) my "m1 & ,i _h be5 back a week4 ,! sn[ _h be5 fall+ = =ty-eight h\rs4 ,! w9t]s 9 our m\nta9s are s sev]e t no?+ b ! m>quis' monomania c expla9 8 ob/9acy 9 rema9+ 9 ?is savage lone wa/e1 :i* is indef9itely swept by sudd5 & viol5t gu/s ( w9d4 ,x is prop] to /ate t ! m>quise wat*$ ov] ! com=t ( ! h\sehold ) a m>vel\s adju/m5t ( daily res\rces1 & al?\gh ,aydat is consid]$ isolat$ by ! inhabitants ( ,sa9t-,saturn9 & ,sa9t-,am&-,tall5de1 ! communication ) ,cl]mont rema9s op5 ev5 9 ! wor/ rigor ( ! season4 ,!n ! season (f]s sudd5 & radiant *anges1 morn+s ( /orm are sudd5ly succe$$ by ev5+s ( incomp>able azure 9 :i* ! c\ntry beams z if trans=m$ by ! en*antm5t ( light4 ,?is 0 ! case on ! day my fatal resolution became fix$ & took =m4 ,i c see ! lake n[1 cov]$ ) a ?9 %eet ( ice1 "u :i* ! supple %iv]+ ( ! wat] c\ld be disc]n$4 ,i see ! va/ slope ( ! ,*eyre1 :ite ) sn[1 its :it5ess brok5 by d>k spots ( lava2 & p]fectly :ite1 )\t a spot1 rises ! circle ( m\nta9s1 ! ,puy de ,dme1 ! ,puy de la ,va*e1 t ( ,vi*atel1 t ( ,de la ,rodde1 t ( ,mont ,r$on1 :ile ! =e/ ( ,r\illet /&s out aga9/ ! backgr\nd ( sn[ & azure4 ,"s m9ute details rise aga9 be=e my eyes :i* 7 !n sc>cely notic$ & h rema9$ conceal$1 "o kn[s n 9 :at hid+-place ( ! memory4 ,i see a clu/] ( bir*es ^: despoil$ bran*es are t9t$ ) rose4 ,i see ! cry/als :i* sp>kle at ! end ( a tuft ( broom :i*1 ?9 & /ill gre51 m>ks ! tracks ( a fox on ! immaculate c>pet1 & ! flight ( a magpie :i* cries out 9 ! middle ( ! road1 & ?is %>p cry r5d]s ! sil5ce ( ?is imm5se horizon almo/ p]ceptible4 ,i see "s yell[ & br[n %eep :i* are driv5 by a %eph]d clo!d 9 a blue bl\se1 we>+ a l>ge1 l[1 r\nd hat1 & accompani$ by a r$ & %aggy dog ) %9+ yell[ eyes1 v ne> toge!r4 ,yes1 ,i c see all ?is l&scape1 & ! f\r p]sons :o are walk+ on ! road :i* leads t[>d ,fontfrde3 ,mlle4 ,l>geyx1 ,mlle4 de ,jussat1 my pupil & myself4 ,*>lotte wore an ,a/rakhan jacket2 a fur boa 0 wrapp$ ar\nd h] neck mak+ h] head appe> /ill m petite & graceful "u its ,a/rakhan toque4 ,aft] ! long imprisonm5t 9 ! *teau ! ke5 air seem$ to intoxicate h]4 ,h] *eeks 7 r$1 h] small feet plung$ radiantly into ! sn[1 :]e !y left _! slight trace1 & h] eyes sp>kl$ ) delight at ! beauty ( nature--a privilege ( simple he>ts :i* is nev] felt :5 ! s\l has become desiccat$ by =ce ( reason+1 ab/ract !ories & c]ta9 k9ds ( read+4 ,i walk$ beside h] & s rapidly t we 7 soon f> ahead ( ,mlle4 ,l>geyx1 ^: clogs slipp$ on ! road4 ,! *ild1 sometimes 9 front1 sometimes beh9d1 /opp$ or ran on ) ! vivacity ( a "y animal4 ,9 ! company ( ^! two gay creatures ,i grew gloomy & taciturn4 ,0 ?is ! n]v\s irritation :i* makes u at c]ta9 times antipa!tic to ! joy :i* we see ar\nd u )\t %>+ x8 ,0 x ! half-unconsci\s outl9e ( my future plan1 & did ,i wi% to =ce ! "y girl to notice me by a k9d ( ho/ility aga9/ h] pleasure8 ,dur+ ! :ole ( ?is walk1 ,i1 :o _h =m$ ! habit ( talk+ a great deal ) h]1 sc>cely respond$ by monosyllables to ! admir+ rem>ks :i* %e address$ to me1 z if %e wi%$ me to %>e 9 ! pleasure ( h] emotions4 ,by brusque replies1 & by sil5ce1 my bad humor became s evid5t t ,mlle4 de ,jussat1 9 spite ( h] en?usiasm1 c\ld n fail to notice x4 ,%e glanc$ at me two or ?ree times1 ) a "q on h] lips :i* %e did n d>e to =mulate1 !n h] face became sad4 ,h] gayety fell little by little at contact ) my sulk9ess1 & ,i c\ld trace ^u h] transp>5t face ! passage1 by :i* %e ceas$ to be s5sible to ! beauty ( ?+s & 0 consci\s only ( my sadness4 ,! mom5t came :5 %e c\ld no long] control ! impression :i* ?is sadness made ^u h]1 &1 9 a voice :i* timidity r5d]$ a little /ifl$1 %e ask$3 8,are y suff]+4 ,monsieur ,greslon80 8,no1 mademoiselle10 ,i repli$ ) a brusqu]ie :i* mu/ h w\nd$ h]1 = h] voice trembl$ z %e said3 8,!n "s "o has done some?+ to y8 ,y are n z y usually are40 8,no "o has done any?+ to me10 ,i answ]$1 %ak+ my head2 8b x is true10 ,i add$1 8t ,i h reasons = be+ sad1 v sad1 to-day4 ,x is ! anniv]s>y ( a great grief1 :i* ,i _c tell y40 ,%e look$ at me aga91 & ,i c\ld foll[ 9 h] eyes ! movem5ts :i* agitat$ h]1 z "o foll[s ! movem5ts ( a wat* ?r\gh a glass case4 ,i _h se5 h] s uneasy at my attitude t %e lo/ h] feel+ = ! div9e l&scape4 ,i saw h] n[1 com=t$ t ,i _h no cause = grief aga9/ h]1 b t\*$ by my melan*oly1 curi\s to "k ! cause1 & n d>+ to ask me4 ,%e only said3 8,p>don me = que/ion+ y40 ,!n %e 0 sil5t4 ,^! few m9utes suffic$ to %[ me ! place :i* ,i already occupi$ 9 h] ?\ghts4 ,ah6 be=e ! pro( ( ?is delicate & noble int]e/1 ,i %\ld h be5 a%am$ ( my falsehood1 = s x 01 ?is soi-disant recollection ( a great grief--a gratuit\s & in/antane\s falsehood ^: sudd5 inv5tion has (t5 a/oni%$ myself4 ,:y _h ,i sudd5ly ?\ght to clo! myself 9 ! poetry ( a great grief1 ,i ^: life1 s9ce ! dea? ( my fa!r1 _h be5 s quiet1 s free f any sacrifices8 ,_h ,i yield$ to ! innate ta/e = duplicat+ myself always s /rong8 ,?is romantic affectation1 did x %[ ! hy/]ia ( vanity :i* urges "s *ildr5 to lie1 )\t reason & ) s mu* unexpect$ness8 ,did a vague intuition cause me to see 9 ?is play ( deception & melan*oly ! sure/ means ( int]e/+ ! ,c\nt's si/]8 ,i _c tell ! precise motives :i* gov]n$ me at t mom5t4 ,assur$ly ,i did n =esee ei!r ! effect ( my assum$ sadness or ( my falsehood1 b ,i rememb] t z soon z ! effect 0 kn[n a resolution 0 =m$ 9 my m9d to g on to ! end & see :at impression ,i c\ld produce on ! s\l ( ?is "y girl1 by cont9u+1 ) consci\sness & calculation1 ! com$y half-in/9ctively begun 9 ?is lum9\s aft]noon ( ,janu>y 9 pres5ce ( a magnific5t l&scape1 :i* %\ld h s]v$ z a frame = o!r dreams4 ,n[ t ! irrep>able is accompli%$1 & by a retrospective p5etration1 horribly pa9ful--= x convicts me ( ignorance & ( cruelty--,i und]/& t ,i _h already inspir$ ,*>lotte ) ! true/ & ! t5d]e/ feel+s4 ,all ! diplomatic psy*ology :i* ,i employ$ 0 only ! odi\s & ridicul\s "w ( a s*ol> 9 ! sci5ce ( ! he>t4 ,i und]/& t ,i did n "k h[ to inhale ! fl[]s :i* bloom$ naturally = me 9 ?is s\l4 ,i _h only to let myself "k & enjoy ! emotions :i* pres5t$ !mselves1 to live a s5tim5tal life z exalt$ & ext5d$ z t ( my intellect4 ,in/ead1 ,i p>alyz$ my he>t by ideas4 ,i wi%$ to conqu] a s\l already conqu]$1 to play a game ( *ess1 :]e ,i ne$$ only to be simple1 & ,i h n ev5 ! pr\d consolation ( say+ to myself t ,i h1 at lea/1 direct$ ! drama ( my de/9y z ,i pleas$1 t ,i h comb9$ ! sc5es1 provok$ ! episodes1 conduct$ ! intrigue4 ,x 0 play$ entirely 9 h]1 & )\t my compreh5d+ x 9 ! lea/1 ?is drama 9 :i* ,dea? & ,love1 ! two fai?ful work]s ( implacable nature1 act$ )\t my ord] :ile mock+ at ! complications ( my analysis4 ,*>lotte lov$ me = reasons q diff]5t f ^? :i* my +5i\s psy*ology _h arrang$4 ,%e di$ 9 despair1 :5 by ! light ( a tragic explanation %e saw me 9 my true nature4 ,!n ,i 0 s horrible to h] t %e ?us gave me irrefutable pro( t my subtle reflections 7 no?+ to h]4 ,i believ$ ,i c\ld solve 9 ?is am\r a problem ( m5tal me*anism4 ,alas6 ,i _h simply met1 )\t feel+ its *>m1 a s9c]e & pr(\nd t5d]ness4 ,:y did ,i n !n div9e :at ,i see to-day ) ! cle>ness ( ! mo/ cruel evid5ce8 ,misl$ by ! romantic side ( h] "*1 x 0 natural t ?is *ild %\ld be deceiv$ 9 me4 ,my long /udies _h giv5 me ! appe>ance ( n be+ q well1 :i* always int]e/s a woman :o is truly fem99e4 ,hav+ be5 br\ght up by my "m1 my mann]s 7 g5tle1 my voice & ge/ures ref9$1 & ,i 0 scrupul\sly c>eful ( my p]son4 ,i _h be5 introduc$ by ! old ma/] :o recomm5d$ me1 z a p]son ( irreproa*able nobility ( ideas & "*4 ,?is 0 en\gh to cause a v s5sitive "y girl to become int]e/$ 9 me 9 a v p>ticul> mann]4 ,ah1 well6 ,i _h no soon] recogniz$ ?is int]e/ ?an ,i ?\ght h[ to abuse x in/ead ( be+ t\*$ by x4 ,any "o :o _h se5 me 9 my room on ! ev5+ :i* foll[$ ?is aft]noon1 seat$ at my table & writ+1 ) a big book ( analysis ne> me1 w\ld nev] h believ$ t ?is 0 a "y man ( sc>cely tw5ty-two ye>s1 m$itat+ on ! s5tim5ts :i* he inspir$ or wi%$ to inspire 9 a "y girl ( tw5ty4 ,! *teau 0 asleep4 ,i c\ld he> only ! /eps ( ! footman z he ext+ui%$ ! lamps on ! /aircase & 9 ! corridors4 ,! w9d envelop$ ! va/ build+ 9 its groan+s1 n[ pla9tive1 n[ soo?+4 ,! we/ w9d is t]rible on ^! heights1 :]e1 sometimes1 x c>ries away 9 a s+le brea? all ! slates ( a ro(4 ,?is lam5tation ( ! w9d has always increas$ 9 me ! feel+ ( int]nal solitude4 ,my fire burn$ g5tly1 & ,i scribbl$ 9 my notebook1 :i* ,i burn$ be=e my arre/1 ! occurr5ces ( ! day & ! programme ( ! exp]i5ce :i* ,i propos$ to attempt ^u ! m9d ( ,mlle4 de ,jussat4 ,i _h copi$ ! passage on pity :i* is f\nd 9 y\r 8,!ory ( ! ,passions20 y rememb] x1 my de> ma/]1 x beg9s3 8,!re is 9 ! ph5om5on ( pity a physical elem5t1 & :i*1 especially 9 wom51 is conf9$ to ! sexual emotion40 ,x 0 ?r\gh pity !n1 t ,i propos$ to act fir/ ^u ,*>lotte4 ,i w\ld pr(it by ! fir/ falsehood by :i* ,i _h already mov$ h]1 comb9+ ) x a succession ( o!rs1 & ?us make h] love me by mak+ h] pity me4 ,!re 01 9 ?is use ( ! mo/ respect$ ( human s5tim5ts = ! pr(it ( my curi\s fancy1 some?+ p>ticul>ly contr>y to ! g5]al prejudice1 :i* flatt]$ my pride mo/ exquisitely4 ,:ile ,i wrote out ?is plan ) philosophical text to support x1 ,i imag9$ :at ,c\nt ,&r w\ld ?9k1 if he c\ld1 z 9 ! old leg5ds1 f ! dep?s ( 8 g>rison t[n deciph] ! words :i* ,i _h trac$ ) my p54 ,at ! same "t1 ! idea alone ( direct+ at w ! subtle movem5ts ( a woman's bra91 all ?is s5tim5tal & intellectual clockwork s complicat$ & s t5u\s1 made me comp>e myself to ,claude ,b]n>d1 to ,pa/eur & to _! pupils4 ,^! savants vivisect$ animals4 ,0 n ,i go+ to vivisect at l5g?1 a human s\l8 ,9 ord] to draw f ?is pity :i* _h be5 surpris$ r ?an provok$1 all ! result dem&$1 x mu/ fir/ be prolong$4 ,to ?is end1 ,i resolv$ to keep up ! com$y ( sadness by prep>+ = ! day ( an explanatory conv]sation1 m or less di/ant1 a long1 t\*+ romance ( false confid5ces4 ,i devot$ myself1 dur+ ! week foll[+ our walk1 to feign+ a melan*oly m or less absorb+1 & to feign+ x1 n only 9 ! pres5ce ( ,*>lotte1 b also dur+ ! h\rs 9 :i* ,i 0 alone ) my pupil1 sure t ! *ild w\ld report to 8 si/] ! impressions ( our tte--tte4 ,y see "h1 my de> ma/]1 ! pro( ( ! useless ma*9]y ,i 0 prep>+ to employ4 ,0 !re any ne$ ( involv+ ?is boy1 :o _h be5 confid$ to me1 9 ?is sad intrigue1 & :y %\ld ,i jo9 ?is ruse ) ! o!rs1 :5 ,mlle4 de ,jussat did n = a mom5t d\bt my s9c]ity8 ,we _h our lessons1 ,luci5 & ,i1 9 a l>ge room dignifi$ by ! "n ( libr>y1 because ( ! %elves :i* furni%$ "o side ( ! wall4 ,!re1 beh9d ! grat+s l9$ ) gre5 l951 7 innum]able volumes b\nd 9 %eepsk91 notably all ! volumes ( ! ,encyclop$ia4 ,?is 0 a legacy f ! f\nd] ( ! *teau1 a great philosoph]1 :o _h built ?is habitation among ! m\nta9s = ! purpose ( br++ up 8 *ildr5 9 ! mid/ ( nature & aft] ! precepts ( ,emile4 ,! portrait ( ?is g5tleman free-?9k]1 a m$iocre pa9t+ 9 ! ta/e ( ! p]iod1 ) its p[d]1 & a smile bo? sceptical & s5sible1 adorn$ "o side ( ! door2 on ! o!r side 0 t ( 8 wife1 q coquetti% "u a high coiffure & ) pat*es on h] *eeks4 ,9 look+ at ^! two pa9t+s1 :ile ,luci5 translat$ a bit f ,ovid or f ,titus ,livius1 ,i ask$ myself :at my ance/ors 7 do+ = me dur+ ! c5tury 9 :i* ^! two p]sons liv$ :o 7 repres5t$ 9 ^! portraits4 ,i imag9$1 ^! ru/ics f :om ,i am desc5d$ pu%+ ! pl[1 prun+ ! v9e1 h>r[+ ! gr\nd 9 ! foggy pla9s ( ,lorra9e1 l ! peasants :o pass$ on ! road 9 front ( ! *teau1 9 all wea!rs1 & :o ) boots to _! knees1 dragg$ a metal-tipp$ /ick fa/5$ to ! wri/ by a /rap4 ,?is m5tal picture gave ! *>m ( a k9d ( lawful v5geance to ! c>e ,i took to compose my physiognomy4 ,x is a s+ul> ?+1 t al?\gh ,i might dete/ 9 !ory ! doctr9es ( ! ,revolution & ! m$iocre spiritualism :i* !y conceal1 ,i became aga9 a plebeian 9 my pr(\nd joy 9 ?9k+ t ,i1 ! great-gr&son ( ^! f>m]s1 %\ld p]haps by ! =ce ( my m9d alone br+ to disgrace ! great-gr&daught] ( ?is great "l & ?is great lady4 ,i lean$ my *9 ^u my h&1 ,i =c$ my br[ & my eyes to look sad1 kn[+ t ,luci5 0 wat*+ ! expression ( my face1 9 ! hope ( int]rupt+ 8 task by a talk4 ,:5 he _h sev]al times obs]v$ t he did n see ! welcom+ smile1 nor ! indulg5t look1 he himself became v anxi\s4 ,z is natural1 ! poor boy took my sadness = sev]ity1 my sil5ce = displeasure ,"o morn+ he v5tur$ to ask3 8,are y angry ) me1 monsieur80 8,no1 my *ild10 ,i repli$1 patt+ 8 fre% *eek ) my h&2 & ,i cont9u$ to pres]ve my tr\bl$ look1 :ile contemplat+ ! sn[ :i* beat aga9/ ! panes4 ,x fell n[ f morn+ till ev5+ 9 l>ge :irl+ />s1 cov]+ & putt+ to sleep ! :ole c\ntry1 & 9 ! w>m rooms ( ! *teau !re 0 ! sil5t *>m ( intimacy1 a di/ant dea? ( all ! noises ( ! m\nta9s2 :ile ?r\gh ! w9d[ panes1 cov]$ ) fro/ on ! outside & a vapor )91 ! light sift$ languor\sly4 ,?is gave a backgr\nd ( my/]y to ! figure ( melan*oly :i* ,i made1 & :i* ,i impos$ on ! obs]vation ( ,*>lotte :5ev] we met4 ,:5 ! breakfa/ bell reunit$ u 9 ! d9+-room1 ,i surpris$ 9 ! eyes ) :i* %e receiv$ me ! same timid & compassionate curiosity :i* ,i _h notic$ dur+ our walk1 :5ce dat$ :at ,i call$ 9 my j\rnal my entrance into my laboratory4 ,%e reg>d$ me ) ! same look :5 we 7 all aga9 toge!r1 9 ! salon at tea1 "u ! light ( ! e>ly lamps1 !n at ! d9n] table & aga9 9 ! long solitude ( ! ev5+1 unless1 "u pretext ( hav+ "w to f9i%1 ,i retir$ to my room4 ,! monotony ( life & ( conv]sation 0 s complete t !re 0 no?+ to help h] to %ake (f ! impression ( m\rnful my/]y :i* ,i _h inflict$ ^u h]4 ,! m>quis1 a prey to ! contra/s ( 8 "*1 curs$ 8 fatal resolution to rema9 9 ?is isolation4 ,he ann\nc$ = ! next cle> day a dep>ture :i* he knew w\ld be impossible4 ,x w\ld co/ too mu* n[1 & beside1 :]e c\ld he g8 ,he calculat$ ! *ances ( see+ 8 ,cl]mont fri5ds :o _h sev]al times breakfa/$ ) him1 b x 0 be=e ! f\r h\rs betwe5 ,aydat & ! city _h be5 d\bl$ by ! bad wea!r4 ,!n he in/all$ himself at ! c>d table1 :ile ! m>quise1 ! gov]ness & ! religieuse appli$ !mselves to _! un5d+ "w4 ,x 0 my duty to look aft] ,luci5 :o turn$ ! leaves ( a book ( engrav+s or play$ at pati5ce4 ,i plac$ myself s t :5 %e rais$ h] eyes f ! c>ds :i* %e held 9 h] h&s :ile play+ ) h] fa!r1 ! "y girl 0 oblig$ to see me4 ,i _h be5 int]e/$ 9 hypnotism1 & ,i _h 9 p>ticul> /udi$ 9 all its details1 9 y\r 8,anatomy ( ! ,w10 ! *apt] devot$ to ! s+ul> ph5om5a ( c]ta9 moral d5om9ations1 :i* y h entitl$3 8,"s demi-sugge/ions40 ,i dep5d$ on tak+ possession ( ?is unoccupi$ m9d1 until ! propiti\s mom5t 9 :i*1 to complete ?is "w ( daily int]c\rse1 ,i %\ld decide to relate to h] my /ory :i*1 ju/ify+ my sadness1 %\ld end by engross+ h] imag9ation4 ,?is /ory ,i _h manufactur$ ^u two pr9ciples :i* y lay d[n1 my de> ma/]1 9 y\r beautiful *apt] on ,love4 ,?is *apt]1 ! !ories ( ! ,e?ics on ! passions1 & ,m4 ,ribot's book on ! 8,maladies ( ! ,w10 _h become my brevi>ies4 ,p]mit me to recall ^! two pr9ciples1 at lea/ 9 _! ess5ce4 ,! fir/ is t ! majority ( be+s h s5tim5t only by imitation2 ab&on$ to simple nature1 love1 = example1 w\ld be = !m z = ! animals1 only a s5sual in/9ct1 dissipat$ z soon z satiat$4 ,! second is t jeal\sly may exi/ be=e love2 consequ5tly x may sometimes create x1 & may (t5 survive x4 ,mu* /ruck by ! ju/ness ( ?is d\ble rem>k1 ,i argu$ t ! romance :i* ,i %\ld relate to ,mlle4 de ,jussat ought to excite h] imag9ation & irritate h] vanity4 ,i _h succe$$ 9 t\*+ ! cord ( pity1 ,i wi%$ to t\* t ( s5tim5tal emulation & t ( self-love4 ,i _h !n1 f\nd$ my /ory on ?is idea1 t e woman int]e/$ 9 a man1 is w\nd$ 9 h] vanity if ?is man %[s t he is ?9k+ ( ano!r woman4 ,b tw5ty pages w\ld be necess>y to %[ y h[ ,i /udi$ ov] ! problem ( ! inv5tion ( ?is fable4 ,! occasion to relate x to h] 0 furni%$ by ! victim h]self1 fifte5 days aft] ,i _h begun to put at "w :at ,i pr\dly call$ my exp]i5ce4 ,! m>quis _h be5 told t "o volume ( ! ,encyclop$ia 0 devot$ to c>ds4 ,he wi%$ to f9d !re h[ to play "s old games su* z ,imp]iale1 ,ombre1 & ,manilla4 ,?is brilliant idea _h come to him aft] breakfa/1 on see+ 9 a j\rnal a report ( a new game call$ ,pok]1 apropos ( :i* ! j\rnali/ gave a li/ ( old-fa%ion$ games4 ,:5 ?is maniac _h conceiv$ a fancy he c\ld n wait1 & 8 daught] 0 oblig$ to g at once to ! libr>y1 :]e ,i 0 occupi$ 9 tak+ notes4 ,i laid aside ,helvtius ^u ! 8,m9d10 :i* ,i _h discov]$ among "s o!r books ( ! eighte5? c5tury4 ,i plac$ myself at ! disposition ( ,mlle4 de ,jussat to take d[n ! volume :i* %e desir$1 &1 :5 %e took x f my h&s1 %e said ) h] habitual grace3 8,i hope t we %all f9d "h "s game 9 :i* y c take a h& ) u4 ,we are s afraid t y d n feel at home "h1 y are always s sad40 ,%e said ^! words z if ask+ p>don = an indelicacy1 :i* _h impress$ me be=e1 & escap+ ! famili>ity ( h] rem>k by a 8we0 :i* ,i too well knew to be untru?ful4 ,h] voice 0 s g5tle1 we 7 s alone t ! "t seem$ to h come to expla9 my feign$ sadness4 8,ah6 mademoiselle10 ,i answ]$1 8if y only knew my hi/ory40 ,if ,*>lotte _h n be5 ! cr$ul\s creature1 ! romantic *ild t %e 01 9 spite ( h] two or ?ree seasons 9 ,p>is1 %e w\ld h se5 t ,i 0 beg9n+ a tale prep>$ be=eh&1 by ?is introduction1 by ! turn ( ! s5t5ces ) :i* ,i cont9u$4 ,i 0 too clumsy1 too awkw>dly affect$4 ,i told h] !n t ,i _h be5 betro!d at ,cl]mont to a "y girl1 b secretly4 ,i ?\ght to make ?is adv5ture m poetical 9 h] eyes by ins9uat+ t ?is girl 0 a =eign]1 a ,russian visit+ "o ( h] relations4 ,i add$ t ?is girl _h all[$ me to tell h] t ,i lov$ h]1 & %e _h also told me t %e lov$ me4 ,we _h ex*ang$ v[s1 !n %e _h gone away4 ,a ri* m>riage (f]$1 & %e _h betray$ me = money4 ,i 0 c>eful to insi/ on my pov]ty1 & let h] und]/& t my "m liv$ almo/ entirely on :at ,i e>n$4 ,?is 0 a detail inv5t$ on ! spot1 = hypocrisy d\bles itself 9 expression4 ,9 tru? ?is 0 a sc5e ( a *ildi% & rascally com$y1 :i* ,i play$ ) v little skill4 ,b ! reasons :i* det]m9$ me to lie 9 ?is fa%ion 7 s special t !y exact$ an extraord9>y p5etration to be compreh5d$1 a total att5tion ( my m9d1 almo/ y\r g5ius1 my de> ma/]4 ,! visible emb>rassm5t ( my position c\ld s easily be attribut$ to ! tr\ble insep>able f su* remembrances4 ,z ,i 0 p]fectly cool :ile ,i 0 tell+ ?is fable1 ,i c\ld obs]ve ,*>lotte4 ,%e li/5$ )\t any sign ( emotion1 h] eyes l[]$ on ! big book :i* support$ h] h&4 ,%e took ! book :5 ,i _h f9i%$1 & repli$ 9 a blank voice1 z !y say1 "o ( ^? voices :i* betrays no s5tim5t ( ! speak]3 8,i d n und]/& h[ y c\ld h _h any confid5ce 9 ?is "y girl1 s9ce %e li/5$ to y )\t ! k ( h] p>5ts40 ,& %e w5t away ) a simple incl9ation ( h] graceful head1 c>ry+ ! book ) h]4 ,h[ pretty %e 0 9 h] dress ( f9e1 light clo?1 ) h] sl5d] =m1 h] small wai/1 h] face q long & light$ up by h] ?\ghtful gray eyes6 ,%e 0 l a ,madonna engrav$ aft] ,meml+1 ^: pr(ile ,i _h =m]ly s mu* admir$1 f]v5t1 lovely & m\rnful1 on ! fir/ page ( a l>ge copy ( ! 8,imitation10 belong+ to ! ,abb ,m>tel4 ,expla9 to me ?is o!r enigma ( ! he>t1 y1 ! great psy*ologi/2 nev] h ,i felt m ! *>m ( ?is pure & g5tle be+ ?an at ! mom5t :5 ,i _h j li$ to h]1 & li$ s uselessly z ,i imag9$ f h] response4 ,yes1 ,i took ?is response lit]ally1 :i*1 on ! contr>y1 %\ld h enc\rag$ me to hope4 ,i did n guess t to h only li/5$ to a confid5ce s intimate 0 = a be+ s pr\d & s res]v$1 s f> above me1 a pro( ( a v p[]ful sympa?y4 ,i did n consid] t ?is almo/ sev]e rem>k 0 dictat$ 9 "p by ! secret jeal\sy :i* ,i _h desir$ to ar\se 9 h]1 9 "p by a ne$ to /r5g!n h]self 9 h] own pr9ciples s z to ju/ify to h]self h] excessive famili>ity4 ,z %e _h n be5 able to read ! falsehood 9 my /ory1 s ,i _h n se5 ! tru? beh9d h] reply4 ,i felt all ! hopes :i* ,i _h be5 build+ up = ! pa/ =tnight crumble be=e me4 ,no4 ,%e 0 n int]e/$ 9 me ) a g5u9e int]e/ :i* ,i c\ld trans=m into passion4 ,i drew up ! balance %eet ( our relations4 ,:at pro( _h ,i ( ?is int]e/8 ,! delicacy ( ! mat]ial c>es ) :i* %e _h surr\nd$ me8 ,?is 0 a simple effect ( h] goodness4 ,h] attempt to f9d out ! cause ( my melan*oly8 ,ah1 well6 %e _h be5 curi\s1 t 0 all4 ,! timid acc5t ( h] voice :5 %e que/ion$ me8 ,i _h be5 a fool n to recognize ! habitual mode/y ( a delicate girl4 ,conclusion3 my com$y ( ^! two weeks1 my grimaces la ,*att]ton1 ! falsehood ( my s-call$ drama1 s _m ridicul\s maneuv]s1 _h n advanc$ me a l9e 9 ! he>t ,i wi%$ to conqu]4 ,i turn$ aga9 to my book1 b ,i 0 no long] capable ( fix+ my att5tion on ! ab/ract text ( ,helvtius4 ,i recall ?is *ildi%ness1 my de> ma/]1 t y may ! bett] p]ceive :at a /range mixture ( innoc5ce & depravity 0 elaborat$ 9 my m9d4 ,:at did ?is unexpect$ deception prove1 if n t ,i _h imag9$ ,i c\ld direct ! ?\ght ( ,*>lotte1 by apply+ to h] ! laws ( psy*ology borr[$ f ! philosoph]s1 z absolutely z h] bro!r direct$ ! billi>d balls8 ,! :ite t\*es ! r$ a little to ! left1 goes on ! cu%ions1 & returns to ! o!r :ite4 ,t is outl9$ by ! h& on ! pap]1 t is expla9$ by a =mula1 t is =ese5 & is done t5 times1 tw5ty times1 a hundr$ times1 t5 ?\s& times4 ,9 spite ( my enorm\s read+1 p]haps because ( x1 ,i saw ! play ( ! passions 9 ?is /ate ( ideal simplicity4 ,i did n compreh5d till lat] h[ mu* ,i 0 deceiv$4 ,9 ord] to def9e ! ph5om5a ( ! he>t we mu/ g to ! vegetable1 & n to ! me*anical _w = analogies1 & to direct ^! ph5om5a we mu/ employ ! me?ods ( ! botani/1 pati5t graft+s1 long wait+1 c>eful tra9+4 ,a s5tim5t is born1 gr[s1 exp&s1 )]s l a plant1 by an evolution sometimes ret>d$1 sometimes rapid1 b always unconsci\s4 ,! g]m ( pity1 ( jeal\sy1 & ( dang]\s example plant$ by my ruse 9 ! s\l ( ,*>lotte mu/ develop its action1 b only aft] days & days1 & ?is action w\ld be ! m irresi/ible z %e believ$ me to be 9 love ) ano!r & t 9 consequ5ce %e w\ld n ?9k to def5d h]self aga9/ me4 ,b to acc\nt 9 advance = ?is "w & to disc\nt ! hope ( x1 "o w\ld h to be a ,ribot1 a ,horwicz1 an ,adri5 ,sixte1 t is1 a connoisseur ( s\ls1 in/ead ( "o l me1 ignorant t ! pla9 ov] :i* he is walk+ w be cov]$ ) gra9 & n suspect+ ! approa*+ h>ve/4 ,! conviction t ,i _h def9itely fail$ 9 my fir/ ef=t increas$ dur+ ! days :i* foll[$ ?is false confid5ce4 ,= ,*>lotte sc>cely spoke to me4 ,i "k n[1 f h] own confession1 t %e conceal$ "u ?is coldness a gr[+ agitation :i* disconc]t$ h] by its novelty1 its =ce & its dep?4 ,9 ! meantime %e appe>$ absorb$ 9 ! game ( backgammon :i* ! m>quis _h discov]$ 9 ! ,encyclop$ia4 ,recollect+ t ?is _h be5 ! favorite pa/ime ( 8 gr&fa!r1 ! emigr1 he _h giv5 up all o!r games4 ,a m]*ant ( ,cl]mont _h be5 able to s5d him ! necess>y articles ) :i* to satisfy ?is caprice4 ,! backgammon table 0 in/all$ 9 ! salon & fa!r & daught] pass$ _! ev5+s 9 ?r[+ ! dice1 :i* made a dry noise aga9/ ! wood5 l$ge4 ,! cabali/ic t]ms ( little table1 big table1 out] table1 d\ble ace1 d\ble ?rees1 two fives1 7 int]m+l$ n[ ) ! words ( ! m>quise & h] two companions4 ,sometimes ! cur ( ,aydat1 ! ,abb ,b>?omeuf1 an old prie/ :o said mass 9 ! *apel ( ! *teau on ,?ursdays :5 ! wea!r 0 v sev]e1 w\ld relieve ,*>lotte by play+ ) ! m>quis4 ,al?\gh ! m>quis treat$ me ) irreproa*able polit5ess1 he _h nev] ask$ me if ,i wi%$ to le>n to play4 ,! diff]5ce :i* he e/abli%$ betwe5 ! abb & myself humiliat$ me1 by ! odde/ contradiction1 = ,i mu* pref]r$ to rema9 9 my l[ *air read+ a book1 or obs]v+ ! "* ( ! diff]5t p]sons f _! physiognomies4 ,is x n always s :5 "o is 9 a position :i* is ?\ght to be inf]ior8 ,any inequality ( treatm5t w\nds ! self-love4 ,i took my rev5ge 9 obs]v+ ! ridicul\sness ( ! abb1 :o pr(ess$1 = ! *teau 9 g5]al & ! m>quis 9 p>ticul>1 an almo/ idolatr\s admiration4 ,8 face :i* 0 always r$ became apoplectic :5 he took 8 seat opposite ! m>quis1 & ! prospect ( w9n+ ! silv] co9s design$ to make ! game m int]e/+ made ! dice-cup tremble 9 8 h& at ! decisive ?r[s4 ,?is obs]vation did n occupy me long1 & ,i turn$ to foll[ ! "y girl1 :o seat$ h]self at h] "w ne> h] "m4 ,! failure ( my attempt to w9 h] love _h made me m cruel1 9 proportion to ! admiration ,i _h be=e felt = ! innoc5t grace ( ?is *ild4 ,to confess all1 ,i began to feel1 9 h] atmosph]e1 emotions ( an ord] m s5sual ?an psy*ological4 ,i 0 a "y man1 & ,i _h 9 my fle%1 9 spite ( my philosophical resolutions1 ! memory ( sex ( :i* y h s au?oritatively analyz$ ! p]si/5t fatality & ! inv9cible revivisc5ce4 ,h[ long ?is p]iod ( in]tia at once impassion$ & disc\rag$1 might h la/$1 ,i d n "k4 ,we 71 ,mlle4 de ,jussat & ,i1 9 a v peculi> situation1 impell$ "o t[>d ! o!r1 %e by a budd+ love ( :i* %e 0 ignorant1 ,i by all ! confus$ reasons :i* ,i h analyz$4 ,al?\gh we 7 toge!r s _m h\rs ( ! day1 nei!r ( u !n suspect$ ! s5tim5ts ( ! o!r4 ,9 su* circum/ances1 "o does n consid] :e!r ! ev5ts :i* m>k a new crisis are effects or causes1 :e!r _! importance resides 9 !mselves or :e!r !y simply s]ve to manife/ ! lat5t conditions ( ! s\l4 ,b may we n put ?is "q apropos ( ea* de/9y tak5 9 its :ole8 ,h[ _m times1 above all s9ce ,i consume my h\rs 9 ?is cell betwe5 ^! f\r :itewa%$ walls1 see+ only ! empty sky ?r\gh f\r op5+s at ! edge ( ! ro(1 9 se>*+ & se>*+ aga9 into my %ort hi/ory1 h ,i ask$ myself if our fate creates our m9d1 or if x is n our m9d :i* creates our fate1 ev5 our ext]nal de/9y8 ,x happ5$ "o ev5+ t ! m>quis1 seat$ ) 8 back to ! fire 9 ! robe-de-*ambre1 :i* he sometimes wore all day1 spoke at l5g? to 8 wife ( an article 9 ! morn+ pap]4 ,i 0 hold+ ?is pap] at ! "t1 & ,m4 de ,jussat said to me q sudd5ly3 8,w\ld y read ?is article1 ,monsieur ,greslon80 ,i admir$1 once m1 ! art ) :i* ?is gr& seigneur r5d]$ ! mo/ trifl+ dem&s insol5t4 ,8 tone alone 0 suffici5t to *ill me4 ,i obey$ h[ev]1 & began to read ?is *ronicle1 m f9ely writt5 ?an su* articles usually are1 & 9 :i* 7 reviv$ all ! picturesqu5ess & color+ ( a fancy ball1 ) a curi\s mixture ( report+ & poetry4 ,dur+ ! read+ ! m>quis reg>d$ me 9 a/oni%m5t4 ,i mu/ tell y1 my de> ma/]1 t at ! "t ( my fri5d%ip ) ,emile1 ,i _h acquir$ a real tal5t = diction4 ,dur+ 8 illness my little comrade _h no great] pleasure ?an to he> me read4 8,y read v well1 v well60 cri$ ,m4 de ,jussat :5 ,i _h f9i%$4 ,8 a/oni%m5t made 8 eulogy a new w\nd to my self-e/eem4 ,x 0 too pla9 t he did n expect to f9d mu* tal5t 9 a sil5t & timid "y man ( ,cl]mont1 :o _h come to ! *teau on ! recomm5dation ( old ,limasset1 to be a valet de lettres4 ,!n1 foll[+ z usual1 ! impulse ( 8 caprice1 he cont9u$3 8,t is an idea4 ,y %all read = u 9 ! ev5+4 ,t w amuse u a little bett] ?an ?is trictrac4 ,little jan1 big jan1 x is always ! same ?+1 & !n ! noise ( ! dice sets my tee? on edge4 ,?is bea/ly c\ntry6 ,if ! sn[ ev] /ops aga91 we w n /ay "h eight days4 ,& :at book are y go+ to beg9 )80 ,?us ,i f\nd myself promot$ to a new s]vice1 )\t ev5 be+ all[$ to consid] :e!r x w\ld int]f]e ) my /udies or n1 = ,i (t5 br\ght into ! salon "s ( my books t ,i might /udy a little )\t leav+ ,luci54 ,b ,i did n = a mom5t ?9k ( evad+ ?is task4 ,fir/ ! brusqu5ess ( ! m>quis _h br\ght me a glance almo/ supplicat+ f ,*>lotte1 "o ( ^? glances by :i* a woman kn[s h[ to ask p>don1 = ! error ( "s "o :om %e loves4 ,!n1 a new project took =m 9 my m9d4 ,might n ?is task be utiliz$ to ! pr(it ( ! ent]prise comm5c$1 ab&on$1 & :i* ! look ( ,mlle4 de ,jussat made me ?9k 0 /ill possible8 ,to ! "q ( ! m>quis ^u ! *oice ( ! book1 ,i respond$ t ,i w\ld consid]4 ,& ,i look$ = a "w :i* w\ld p]mit me to approa* ! prey ar\nd :i* ,i turn$1 z ,i once saw1 ne> ! ,puy du ,dme1 a kite :eel ar\nd & above a poor little bird4 ,0 n ?is an opportunity to try by ano!r me?od ?is influ5ce ( imitation1 :i* ,i _h va9ly hop$ f my false confid5ce8 ,x is to y1 my de> ma/]1 t we owe ! /ronge/ pages :i* h be5 writt5 ^u t :i* y s ju/ly call ! ,lit]>y ,m9d1 ^u ?is unconsci\s model+ ( our he>t to ! resemblance ( ! passions pa9t$ by ! poets4 ,i saw 9 ?is !n1 a means ( act+ ^u ,*>lotte :i* ,i reproa*$ myself = n hav+ ?\ght ( be=e4 ,b h[ 0 ,i to f9d a romance :i* 0 passionate en\gh to excite h]1 & outw>dly correct en\gh to be read be=e ! assembl$ family8 ,i lit]ally ransack$ ! libr>y4 ,its incoh]5t & contra/$ composition1 reflect$ ! resid5ce ( its successive ma/]s & ! *ances ( _! ta/e4 ,!re 7 all ! pr9cipal works ( ! eighte5? c5tury ( :i* ,i h spok5--!n a hiatus4 ,dur+ ! emigration ! *teau _h rema9$ unoccupi$4 ,!n a lot ( romantic books 9 _! fir/ editions atte/$ ! lit]>y aspirations ( ! fa!r ( ! m>quis1 :o _h be5 ! fri5d ( ,lam>t9e4 ,!n came ! wor/ ( contemporane\s romances1 ^? :i* are b\ght on ! railway1 half-b\nd1 cut sometimes ) ! f+]1 or a page lo/1 & "s treatises on political economy1 an ab&on$ hobby ( ,m4 de ,jussat4 ,at la/ ,i discov]$ amid all ?is rubbi% a 8,eugnie ,gr&et10 :i* appe>$ to me to fill ! conditions desir$4 ,!re is no?+ m attractive to a fre% imag9ation ?an ^! idyls at once *a/e & f]vid 9 :i* innoc5ce envelops passion 9 a p5umbra ( poesy4 ,b ! m>quis mu/ h kn[n ?is celebrat$ romance by he>t1 & ,i appreh5d$ t he w\ld refuse to li/5 to x4 8,bravo60 he repli$ :5 ,i submitt$ my idea to him1 8t is "o ( ! books t "o reads once1 talks ab\t always & entirely =gets4 ,i saw ?is ,balzac once 9 ,p>is1 at ! ,ca/ries4 ,x is m ?an =ty ye>s ago4 ,i 0 a y\ng/] !n4 ,b ,i rememb] him well1 fat1 %ort & /ubby1 noisy1 important1 ) beautiful bright eyes & a common air40 ,! fact is t aft] ! fir/ pages1 he fell asleep1 :ile ! m>quise4 ,mlle4 ,l>geyx & ! religieuse knit1 & ,luci51 :o _h rec5tly come into possession ( a box ( colors consci5ti\sly illum9at$ ! illu/rations ( a l>ge volume4 ,:ile read+ ,i obs]v$ ,*>lotte1 & x 0 n difficult to see t ?is "t my calculation _h be5 correct1 & t %e vibrat$ "u ! phrases ( ! romance z a viol9 "u a skillful b[4 ,ev]y?+ 0 prep>$ to receive ?is impression1 f h] feel+s already /irr$ to h] n]ves /ra9$ by an influ5ce ( a physical k9d4 ,"o _c live ) impunity = weeks 9 su* an atmosph]e z t ( ! *teau1 always w>m1 ne>ly /ifl+4 ,f t ev5+1 ?is *ild hung on my lips z ! +5u\s loves ( ,eugnie & h] c\s9 ,*>les disclos$ _! t\*+ episodes4 ,! same in/9ct ( com$y :i* _h guid$ me 9 my false confid5ce made me ?r[ into e phrase ! intonation :i* ,i ?\ght w\ld please h] mo/4 ,i c]ta9ly enjoy$ ?is book1 al?\gh ,i pref]r$ t5 o!r ( ,balzac's works1 su*1 = example1 z ! 8,cur de ,t\rs10 :i* are v]itable lit]>y comp5diums1 ea* phrase ( :i* conta9s m philosophy ?an a s*olium ( ,sp9oza4 ,i =c$ myself to appe> t\*$ by ! mis=tunes ( ! mis]'s daught]1 9 my mo/ secret fibres2 & my voice grew pitiful ov] ! sweet recluse ( ,saumur4 ,"h1 z be=e1 ,i gave myself useless tr\ble4 ,!re 0 no ne$ ( an art s complicat$4 ,9 ! crisis ( imag9ative s5sibility ?r\gh :i* ,*>lotte 0 pass+1 any romance ( love 0 a p]il4 ,if ! fa!r & "m _h possess$1 ev5 9 a feeble degree1 t _s ( obs]vation :i* p>5ts ought to ex]cise )\t ceas+1 !y w\ld h div9$ ?is p]il ( _! daught]1 m & m captivat$ dur+ ! ?ree ev5+s t ?is read+ la/$4 ,! m>quise simply rem>k$ t *>act]s s black z fa!r ,gr&et & ! c\s9 did n exi/4 ,z = ! m>quis1 he knew too mu* ( ! _w to pr(f] any su* op9ion1 he =mulat$ ! cause ( 8 ennui dur+ ! read+4 8,x is decid$ly ov]drawn4 ,^! unf9i%$ descriptions1 ^! analyses1 ^! num]ical calculations6 ,!y are all v good1 ,i d n say !y are n4 ,b :5 ,i read a romance ,i wi% to be amus$40 ,& he conclud$ t he mu/ s5d to ! ,libr>y ( ,cl]mont imm$iately = ! com$ies ( ,labi*e4 ,i 0 9 despair at ?is new fancy4 ,i w\ld aga9 be p[]less to act ^u ! imag9ation ( ! "y girl1 j at ! mom5t :5 ,i c\ld feel success probable4 ,?is %[$ t ,i did n "k ! ne$ :i* ?is s\l1 already t\*$1 felt1 unkn[n to h]self1 ! ne$ ( draw+ ne> to me1 ( compreh5d+ me & mak+ h]self compreh5d$ by me1 ( liv+ 9 contact ) my m9d4 ,! next day aft] t on :i* ! m>quis _h issu$ ! decree ( proscription aga9/ analytical romances1 ,mlle4 de ,jussat ent]$ ! libr>y at ! h\r ,i 0 !re ) h] bro!r4 ,%e came to replace ! volume ( ! ,encyclop$ia2 & ) a half-emb>rass$ smile3 8,i w\ld l to ask a favor ( y10 %e said timidly4 8,i h a great deal ( "t "h1 ) :i* ,i d n "k v well :at to d4 ,i w\ld l to h y\r advice 9 reg>d to my read+4 ,! book :i* y *ose ! o!r day gave me a great deal ( pleasure40 ,%e add$3 8,ord9>ily romances we>y me1 b t "o 0 v int]e/+40 ,i felt1 at he>+ h] speak 9 t way1 ! joy :i* ,c\nt ,&r mu/ h ta/$ :5 he saw ! enemy :om he kill$ dur+ ! w> put 8 inquisitive head above ! wall4 ,x seem$ to me z if ,i1 too1 held my human game at ! end ( my gun4 ,! response to ?is reque/ appe>$ to me s important t ,i feign$ to be v mu* emb>rass$4 ,9 ?ank+ h] = h] confid5ce ,i said to h] t %e _h *>g$ me ) a v delicate mission = :i* ,i felt myself incapable4 ,9 brief1 ,i made believe to decl9e a favor1 :i* ,i 0 *>m$ to intoxication to h obta9$4 ,%e insi/$1 & ,i promis$ to give h] ! next day a li/ ( books4 ,i pass$ ! ev5+ & a "p ( ! night 9 tak+ & reject+ 9 my m9d hundr$s ( volumes4 ,at la/ ,i repeat$ al\d my fa!r's favorite =mula3 8,let u proce$ me?odically10 & ,i ask$ myself h[ books _h act$ on my imag9ation1 9 my adolesc5ce1 & :at books8 ,i /at$ t ,i _h be5 attract$ mo/ ( all t[>d lit]ature by ! unkn[n ( s5tim5tal exp]i5ce4 ,x 0 ! desire to assimilate unexp]i5c$ emotions :i* _h bewit*$ me4 ,i conclud$ t ?is 0 ! g5]al law ( lit]>y intoxication4 ,i mu/ !n *oose = ?is girl "s books :i* %\ld awake 9 h] ! same ideas :ile tak+ into acc\nt ! diff]5ce ( our *>act]s4 ,*>lotte 0 ref9$1 pure & t5d]4 ,%e mu/ be l$ into ! dang]\s road ( romantic curiosity by descriptions ( s5tim5ts analog\s to h] own he>t4 ,i judg$ t ! 8,dom9ique0 ( ,from5t91 ! 8,pr9cesse de ,clves10 8,valrie10 8,julia de ,trcur10 ! 8,lys dans la valle10 ! 8,reisebild]0 ( ,he9e1 c]ta9 com$ies ( ,musset1 9 p>ticul> 8,on ne bad9e pas avec l'am\r10 ! fir/ poetry ( ,sully ,prudhomme & t ( ,vigny1 w\ld be/ s]ve my purpose4 ,i took ! tr\ble to write out ?is li/1 accompany+ x ) a tempt+ comm5t>y1 9 :i* ,i indicat$ 9 my be/ mann] ! %ade ( delicacy prop] to ea* ( ^! writ]s4 ,t is ! lett] :i* ! poor *ild _h kept1 & ( :i* ! magi/rates said x seem$ l ! beg9n+ ( c\rt%ip4 ,ah6 ! /range c\rt%ip1 & s diff]5t f ! vulg> ambition ( ! m>riage ) :i* ^! gross m9ds h /upidly reproa*$ me6 ,if ,i _h n a reason ( pride = refus+ to def5d myself :i* ,i w give y at ! end ( ?is memoir1 ,i w\ld be sil5t f disgu/ ( ^! l[ intellig5ces1 ( :i* n "o w\ld be able to compreh5d an action dictat$ by pure reason4 ,if !y _h only made y1 my de> ma/]1 & ! o!r pr9ces ( mod]n ?\ght1 my judges6 ,!n ,i w\ld speak1 z ,i am speak+ n[ to y4 ,! works ?us designat$ arriv$ f ,cl]mont4 ,!y 7 ! object ( no rem>k on ! "p ( ! m>quis4 ,x is necess>y to h ano!r rea* ( m9d ?an t ( ?is poor man to compreh5d t !re are no bad books4 ,!re are bad mom5ts 9 :i* to read ! be/ ( books4 ,y h a comp>ison s j 9 y\r *apt] on 8,l'me littraire10 :5 y lik5 ! sore op5$ 9 c]ta9 imag9ations by c]ta9 read+s to ! well-kn[n ph5om5on produc$ on ! body poison$ by diabetes4 ,! mo/ in(f5sive prick becomes env5om$ ) gangr5e4 ,if !re 7 ne$ ( a pro( ( ?is !ory ( 8! prelim9>y /ate10 z y say aga91 ,i %\ld f9d x 9 ! fact t ,mlle4 de ,jussat s\ght 9 ^! books = ?+s s div]se1 = in=mation ab\t me1 my mann] ( feel+1 ( ?9k+1 ( und]/&+ life & "*4 ,e *apt]1 e page ( ^! dang]\s volumes became an occasion = que/ion+ me long1 passionately1 & +5u\sly4 ,i am c]ta9 t %e 0 s9c]e1 & t %e did n imag9e %e 0 do+ any?+ wrong :5 %e came to talk ) me apropos ( su* or su* a phrase ab\t ,dom9ique or ,julia1 ,flix de ,v&5esse or ,p]dican4 ,i rememb] ! horror :i* %e felt = ! "y man1 ! mo/ captivat+ & ! mo/ guilty ( ,musset's h]oes1 & ! heat ) :i* ,i /igmatiz$ 8 duplicity ( he>t betwe5 ,camille & ,rosette4 ,n[1 !re 0 no p]sonage 9 any book1 :o pleas$ me to ! same degree z ?is lov] at once traitor\s & s9c]e1 disloyal & lov+1 +nu & r\1 :o a*iev$1 9 8 way1 8 exp]i5ce ( s5tim5tal vivisection ^u 8 pretty & pr\d c\s94 ,i h cit$ ?is example1 among tw5ty o!rs1 to give y an idea ( ! conv]sations :i* we _h n[ 9 ?is *teau 9 :i* we 7 s /rangely isolat$4 ,no "o wat*$ u4 ,! dissimulation 9 :i* ,i _h mask$ myself on my arrival cont9u$ to cov] me4 ,! m>quis & ! m>quise _h =m$ f ! fir/ an image entirely diff]5t f my real nature4 ,!y took no pa9s to v]ify :e!r ?is fir/ impression 7 exact or false4 ,! good ,mlle4 ,l>geyx1 in/all$ 9 ! com=t ( h] complac5t p>asitism1 0 mu* too innoc5t to suspect ! ?\ghts ( depravity p]fectly intellectual :i* 7 revolv+ 9 my m9d4 ,! ,abb ,b>?olomew & ,si/] ,anaclet1 :om a secret rivalry sep>at$1 conceal$ "u ! =m ( an amiability q ecclesia/ic1 _h only "o c>e1 t ( pleas+ ! ma/] & mi/ress ( ! *teau1 ! prie/ = ! b5efit ( 8 *ur*1 & ! religieuse = t ( h] ord]4 ,luci5 0 too "y1 &1 z = ! dome/ics1 ,i _h n yet le>n$ :at p]fidy 0 veil$ "u ! impassibility ( _! smoo? faces & ! irreproa*able appe>ance ( _! br[n liv]y ) its gold buttons4 ,we 7 !n free1 ,*>lotte & ,i1 to talk ! :ole day4 ,%e appe>$ fir/ 9 ! morn+1 9 ! d9+-room :]e my pupil & ,i took our tea1 & !re1 "u ! pretext ( breakfa/+ toge!r1 we talk$ at "o corn] ( ! table1 %e 9 all ! p]fum$ fre%ness ( h] ba?1 ) h] hair hang+ d[n 9 a heavy plait1 & ! suppl5ess ( h] lovely =m visible "u ! mat]ial ( h] half-fitt+ morn+ dress4 ,i saw h] aga9 9 ! libr>y :]e %e always _h "s excuse = com+2 & by ?is "t h] hair 0 dress$1 & %e _h assum$ ! toilette ( ! day4 ,we met aga9 9 ! draw+-room be=e ! second breakfa/ & /ill aga92 & %e wait$ ^u u ) h] cu/om>y grace1 di/ribut+ ! c(fee a little hurri$ly t %e might l+] ne> me :om %e s]v$ la/1 :i* p]mitt$ u to talk 9 an angle ( ! w9d[4 ,:5 ! wea!r w\ld p]mit we w5t out1 ! gov]ness1 ,*>lotte1 my pupil1 & ,i1 9 ! aft]noon4 ,at five-o'clock tea we 7 aga9 toge!r1 !n at d9n]1 :5 ,i sat ne> h]1 & 9 ! ev5+ we conv]s$ almo/ z if we 7 really alone4 ,i m5tally comp>$ ! ph5om5a :i* 7 tak+ place 9 ?is girl1 to t :i* ,i _h obs]v$ sev]al times 9 tam+ animals4 ,at "o "t ,i _h writt5 "s *apt]s on animal psy*ology4 ,a !orem ( ,sp9oza _h s]v$ me = a />t+ po9t4 ,i _c n[ recall ! text1 b ?is is ! s5se3 to reproduce a movem5t1 y mu/ d x y\rself4 ,t is true ( man1 & x is true ( ! animal4 ,a savant ( r>e m]it & :om y "k well1 ,m4 ,esp9as1 has expla9$ t all society is f\nd$ on resemblance4 ,i h conclud$ t = a man to tame an animal1 to br+ x to live 9 8 society1 he mu/1 9 8 relations ) ?is animal1 make only ^? movem5ts :i* ! animal c reproduce1 t is to resemble him4 ,i h v]ifi$ ?is law 9 e/abli%+ ! species ( analogy ( expression betwe5 a hunt] & 8 dog1 = example4 ,i f\nd--& ?is 0 ! sign t ,mlle4 de ,jussat 0 becom+ a little tam] ea* day--t we began to employ analog\s expressions1 turns ( ?\ght almo/ ! same4 ,i f\nd myself acc5t+ my words z %e did h]s1 & ,i obs]v$ 9 h] ge/ures :i* resembl$ m9e4 ,9 f9e1 ,i became a "p ( h] life1 )\t h] p]ceiv+ x1 s c>eful 0 ,i n to />tle ?is s\l j ready to be tak5 by a ^w t w\ld cause h] to feel h] dang]4 ,?is life ( wat*ful diplomacy1 to :i* ,i 0 condemn$ dur+ ne>ly two mon?s t ^! simply intellectual relations la/$1 did n pass )\t almo/ daily int]nal /ruggles4 ,to int]e/ ?is m9d1 to invade ?is imag9ation little by little1 0 n all ( my programme4 ,i wi%$ to be lov$1 & ,i knew t ?is moral int]e/ 0 only ! beg9n+ ( passion4 ,?is beg9n+ ought to lead 9 ord] n to rema9 useless to some?+ m ?an a s5tim5tal intimacy4 ,!re is 9 y\r 8,!ory ( ! ,passions10 my de> ma/]1 a note :i* ,i read s mu* at t "t t ,i "k ! text by he>t3 8,a well-prep>$ /udy ( ! lives ( pr(essional lib]t9es10 say y1 8w\ld ?r[ a def9ite light ^u ! problem ( ! bir? ( love4 ,b ! docum5ts are lack+4 ,^! m5 h ne>ly all be5 m5 ( action1 & :o1 9 consequ5ce1 did n "k h[ to relate4 ,h[ev]1 "s works ( a sup]ior psy*ological int]e/1 ! 8,memoires0 ( ,casanova1 ! 8,private ,life ( ,m>%al de ,ri*elieu10 ! *apt] ( ,sa9t-,simon on ,lauzun1 au?orize u to say t n9ete5 times out ( tw5ty audacity & physical famili>ity are ! sure/ means ( creat+ love4 ,?is hypo!sis confirms our doctr9e on ! animal orig9 ( ?is passion40 ,sometimes :5 we 7 alone toge!r1 & %e mov$1 & h] feet approa*$ m9e1 & :5 %e brea!d & ,i felt t %e 0 a liv+ creature1 ! fev]i% wave ( intoxication ran ?r\gh my ve9s1 & ,i 0 oblig$ to turn my eyes away1 = _! expression w\ld h made h] afraid4 ,(t5 also1 :5 ,i 0 away f h]1 x seem$ to me t audacity w\ld be mu* m easy z x w\ld be m complete4 ,i resolv$ !n to clasp h] 9 my arms1 to press my lips to h]s4 ,i saw h] feel+ badly at my c>ess1 ov]come1 conf\nd$ by ?is revelation ( my ardor4 ,:at w\ld happ5 !n8 ,my he>t beat at ?is idea4 ,x 0 n ! fe> ( be+ driv5 f ! *teau t held me back4 ,x 0 m %ameful to my pride n to d>e4 ,& ,i did n d>e4 ,! inability to act is a trait ( my "*1 b only :5 ,i am n su/a9$ by an idea4 ,let ! idea be !re & x infuses an inv9cible en]gy into my be+4 ,to g to my dea? w\ld be easy4 ,y w see t1 if ,i am condemn$4 ,no1 :at p>alyz$ me ne> ,mlle4 de ,jussat z by a magnetic influ5ce 0 h] purity6 ,at lea/ ,i h felt1 ) s+ul> =ce1 ?is recoil be=e innoc5ce4 ,(t5 :5 ,i felt ?is invisible b>ri] betwe5 ,*>lotte & myself1 ,i h recall$ ! leg5ds ( gu>dian angels1 & compreh5d$ ! bir? ( ?is poetic conceit ( ,ca?olicism4 ,r$uc$ to reality by analysis1 ?is ph5om5on simply proves t 9 ! relations betwe5 two be+s1 !re is a reciprocity ( action ( "o ^u ! o!r unkn[n to ei!r4 ,if by calculation ,i =c$ myself to resemble ?is girl 9 ord] to tame h]1 ,i exp]i5c$ )\t calculation ! species ( moral sugge/ion :i* all true "* imposes ^u u4 ,! extreme simplicity ( h] m9d triumph$ at times ov] my ideas1 my remembrances1 & my desires4 ,f9ally1 al?\gh judg+ ?is weakness to be unwor?y ( a bra9 l m9e1 ,i respect$ h]1 z if ,i _h n kn[n ! value ( ?is ^w respect1 & t x repres5ts ! mo/ /upid ( all our ignorances4 ,d we respect ! play] :o t5 times 9 succession /rikes ! r\ge or ! noir8 ,well1 9 ?is haz>d\s lott]y ( ! univ]se1 virtue & vice are ! r\ge & noir4 ,an hone/ woman & a lucky play] h equal m]it4 ,! spr+ arriv$ 9 ! mid/ ( ^! agitat+ alt]nations ( audaci\s projects1 /upid timidity1 contradictory reason+s1 wise comb9ations & +5u\s ardors4 ,& su* a spr+6 ,"o mu/ h exp]i5c$ ! sev]ity ( w9t] among ^! m\nta9s1 !n ! sudd5 sweetness ( ! r5ewal ( nature1 to appreciate ! *>m ( life :i* floats 9 ?is atmosph]e :5 ,april & ,may br+ back ! sacr$ season4 ,x comes fir/ across ! mead[s 9 an awak+ ( ! wat] :i* %udd]s "u ! ?9 ice2 x bur/s ?r\gh & !n runs s++ on1 light1 transp>5t & free4 ,x comes ?r\gh ! woods 9 a cont9u\s murmur ( sn[ :i* deta*es itself piece by piece & falls ^u ! ev]gre5 bran*es ( ! p9es & ! yell[ & dri$ leaves ( ! oaks4 ,! lake fre$ f its ice takes to %iv]+ "u ! w9d :i* sweeps away ! cl\ds1 & ! azure appe>s1 ! azure ( a m\nta9 sky1 cle>]1 deep] ?an t ( ! pla92 & 9 "s days ! uni=m color ( ! l&scape is t9t$ ) colors t5d] & "y4 ,! delicate buds beg9 to appe> on ! nak$ bran*es4 ,! gre5i% am5ts ( hazels alt]nate ) ! yell[i% catk9s ( ! will[s4 ,ev5 ! black lava ( ! ,*eyre appe>s to be animat$4 ,! velvety fructifications ( ! mosses m+le ) ! :it5+ spots ( ! li*5s4 ,! crat]s ( ! ,puy de la ,va*e & ( ! ,puy de ,lassolas disclose little by little ! spl5dor ( _! r$ gravel4 ,! silv]y trunks ( ! bir*es & ! *angeable trunks ( ! bee*es %9e 9 ! sun ) a lively spl5dor4 ,9 ! ?ickets1 ! beautiful fl[]s :i* ,i _h =m]ly pick$ ) my fa!r1 & ^: corollas look$ at me z if !y 7 eyes1 & ^: aroma foll[$ me l a brea?1 began to bloom4 ,! p]iw9kle1 ! primrose1 & ! violet appe>$ fir/1 !n 9 succession ! cuckoo-fl[] ) its %ade ( lilac1 ! daphne :i* be>s its p9k fl[]s be=e x has any leaves1 ! :ite anemone1 ! two-leav$ h>ebell1 ) its odor ( hyac9?1 ,solomon's seal ) its :ite bells & its my/]i\s root :i* walks "u ! gr\nd1 ! lily-(-!-valley 9 ! holl[s1 & ! eglant9e along ! h$ges4 ,! breeze :i* came f ! :ite domes ( ! m\nta9 pass$ ov] ^! fl[]s4 ,x br\ght ) x p]fumes some?+ ( ! sun & ! sn[1 s c>ess+ & s fre%1 t only to brea! 0 to be intoxicat$ ) y\?1 0 to p>ticipate 9 ! r5ewal ( ! va/ _w2 & ,i1 fix$ z ,i 0 9 my doctr9es & my !ories1 felt ! pub]ty ( all nature4 ,! ice ( ab/ract ideas 9 :i* my s\l 0 imprison$ melt$4 ,:5 ,i read ov] ! pages ( my j\rnal1 n[ de/roy$1 9 :i* ,i _h not$ my s5sations1 ,i am a/oni%$ to see ) :at =ce ! s\rces ( +5u\sness 7 reop5$ 9 me "u ?is influ5ce1 & ) :at a ru%+ flood !y inundat$ my he>t4 ,i am vex$ ) myself = ?9k+ ( x 9 ?is c[>dly _s4 ,h[ev]1 ,i exp]i5ce a pleasure 9 rememb]+ t at ?is p]iod ,i s9c]ely lov$ h] :o is n[ no m4 ,i repeat x ) a real relief1 t at lea/ on ! day t ,i d>$ to tell h] ( my love--fatal day :i* m>k$ ! beg9n+ ( our sep>ation--,i 0 ! s9c]e dupe ( my own words4 ,! decl>ation on :i* ,i _h delib]at$ s mu* 01 h[ev]1 simply ! effect ( *ance4 ,x 0 ! #ab? ( ,may4 ,ah6 x is less ?an a ye> ago6 ,9 ! morn+ ! wea!r _h be5 ev5 m ?an usually f9e1 & 9 ! aft]noon ,mlle4 ,l>geyx1 ,luci51 ,*>lotte & ,i />t$ to g to ! village ( ,sa9t-,saturn9 ?r\gh a wood ( oaks1 ( bir*es & hazels :i* sep>at$ ?is village f ! ru9$ *teau ( ,montr$on1 & :i* is call$ ! ,pradat wood4 ,we _h tak5 ! little ,engli% c>t :i* c\ld hold f\r if necess>y4 ,nev] 0 a day m w>m1 a sky m blue1 nev] 0 ! odor ( spr+ borne by ! w9d m exhil>at+4 ,we _h n walk$ a league :5 ,mlle4 ,l>geyx1 fatigu$ by ! sun1 took h] seat 9 ! c>t :i* 0 driv5 by ! second coa*man4 ,! rogue has sworn cruelly aga9/ me1 & has recall$ all t he knew or guess$ ( :at ,i myself am go+ to relate to y4 ,luci5 also soon decl>$ himself tir$1 & jo9$ ! gov]ness1 s t ,i 0 left to walk alone ) ,mlle4 de ,jussat4 ,%e _h tak5 x into h] head to make a b\quet ( lilies-(-!-valley1 & ,i help$ h] 9 ?is "w4 ,we 7 busy "u ! bran*es1 :i* 7 cov]$ ) a sort ( delicate gre5 cl\d ( ! sc>cely op5$ foliage4 ,%e walk$ ahead1 drawn f> f ! edge ( ! wood 9 h] se>* = ! fl[]s4 ,we f\nd ourselves at la/ 9 a cle>+1 & s f> away t we c\ld n see ! gr\p made by ! c>t & ! ?ree p]sons4 ,*>lotte fir/ p]ceiv$ our solitude4 ,%e li/5$1 & n he>+ ! noise ( ! horse's feet on ! road1 %e cri$ out ) ! laught] ( a *ild3 8,we are lo/4 ,=tunately ! road is n h>d to remb\rs]1 z poor ,si/] ,anaclet says4 ,w y wait until ,i arrange my b\quet8 ,x w\ld be a pity to h ^! beautiful fl[]s spoil40 ,%e sat d[n on a rock :i* 0 ba!d 9 sunlight1 & spread ! fl[]s on h] lap1 tak+ up ! sprays ( lilies "o by "o4 ,i inhal$ ! musky p]fume ( ^! pale racemes1 seat$ on ! o!r extremity ( ! /one4 ,nev] _h ?is creature1 t[>d :om all my ?\ghts _h t5d$ = mon?s1 appe>$ s adorably delicate & ref9$ z at ?is mom5t ) h] face da9tily color$ by ! fre% air1 ) ! deep r$ ( h] lips :i* 7 b5t 9 a half-smile1 ) ! cle> limpidity ( h] gray eyes1 ) ! symmetry ( h] entire be+4 ,%e h>moniz$ 9 a mann] almo/ sup]natural ) ! c\ntry ab\t u by ! *>m ( y\? :i* emanat$ f h] p]son4 ,! long] ,i look$ at h] ! m ,i 0 conv9c$ t if ,i did n seize ?is occasion to tell h] :at ,i _h wi%$ to decl>e = s long a "t1 ,i %\ld nev] aga9 f9d ano!r opportunity s propiti\s4 ,?is idea grew 9 my m9d1 m+l$ ) ! remorse ( see+ h]1 s confid5t1 s unsuspici\s ( ! pati5t "w by :i*1 abus+ our daily intimacy1 ,i _h br\ght h] to treat me ) a g5tl5ess almo/ frat]nal4 ,my he>t beat viol5tly4 ,! magic ( h] pres5ce excit$ my entire be+4 ,un=tunately %e turn$ t[>d me = a mom5t1 to %[ me ! b\quet :i* 0 ne>ly f9i%$4 ,no d\bt %e saw 9 my face ! trace ( ! emotion :i* my pride ( ?\ght rais$ 9 me1 = h] face :i* _h be5 s joy\s1 s frank1 sudd5ly grew anxi\s4 ,i ought to say t dur+ our conv]sations ( ^! two mon?s we _h avoid$1 %e f delicacy1 ,i f %rewdness1 any allusion to ! romance ( deception by :i* ,i _h tri$ to excite h] pity4 ,i und]/ood h[ ?or\ghly %e _h believ$ 9 ?is romance & t %e _h n ceas$ to ?9k ( x1 :5 %e said ) an involunt>y melan*oly 9 h] eyes3 8,:y d y spoil ?is beautiful day by sad remembrances8 ,i ?\ght y _h become m reasonable40 8,no60 ,i respond$2 8y d n "k :at makes me sad4 ,ah6 x is n remembrances4 ,y ref] to my =m] griefs4 ,y are mi/ak54 ,!re is no m place 9 my m9d = memories ?an !re is on ^! bran*es = la/ ye>'s leaves40 ,i he>d my voice z if x _h be5 t ( "s "o else1 at ! same "t ,i read 9 h] eyes t1 9 spite ( ! poetical comp>ison by :i* ,i _h conceal$ ! direct mean+ ( ?is phrase1 %e und]/ood me4 ,h[ 0 x t :at _h be5 s impossible n[ seem$ easy8 ,h[ 0 x t ,i d>$ to d :at ,i _h believ$ ,i %\ld nev] d>e to d8 ,i took h] h& :i* trembl$ 9 m9e z if ! *ild 7 seiz$ ) a frightful t]ror4 ,%e rose to g away1 b h] knees trembl$ s t ,i _h no difficulty 9 con/ra9+ h] to sit d[n aga94 ,i 0 s ov]come by my own audacity t ,i c\ld n control myself1 & ,i began to tell h] my feel+s = h] 9 words :i* ,i _c recall n[4 ,all ! emotions ?r\gh :i* ,i _h pass$1 s9ce my arrival at ! *teau1 yes all1 ev5 f ! mo/ dete/able1 ^? ( my envy ( ,c\nt ,&r1 to ! be/1 my remorse at abus+ ! confid5ce ( a "y girl1 7 dissolv$ 9 an adoration almo/ my/ical1 & half-mad1 = ?is trembl+1 agitat$1 & beautiful creature4 ,i saw h] :ile ,i 0 speak+ gr[ z pale z ! fl[]s :i* 7 scatt]$ 9 h] lap4 ,i rememb] t words came to me :i* 7 excit$ to madness1 wild to imprud5ce1 & t ,i end$ by repeat+3 8,h[ ,i love y6 ,ah6 ,h[ ,i love y60 ,clasp+ h] h& 9 m9e & draw+ h] ne>] & ne>] to me4 ,i pass$ my free arm ar\nd h] wai/ )\t ev5 ?9k+1 9 my own agitation1 ( kiss+ h]4 ,?is ge/ure1 by al>m+ h]1 gave h] ! en]gy to rise & dis5gage h]self4 ,%e moan$ r ?an said3 8,leave me1 leave me40 ,& /epp+ backw>d1 h] h&s held out 9 front ( h] z if to def5d h]self1 %e w5t to ! trunk ( a bir* tree4 ,!re %e lean$1 pant+ ) emotion1 :ile ! big te>s roll$ d[n h] *eeks4 ,!re 0 s mu* ( w\nd$ mode/y 9 ^! te>s1 s pa9ful a revulsion1 9 ! tremul\sness ( h] half-op5 lips1 t ,i rema9$ :]e ,i 0 mutt]+3 8,p>don40 8,be /ill10 said %e1 mak+ a motion ) h] h&4 ,we rema9$ ?us opposite "o ano!r & sil5t = a "t :i* mu/ h be5 v %ort1 b :i* seem$ an et]nity to me4 ,all at once a cry cross$ ! wood1 at fir/ di/ant1 !n ne>]1 t ( a voice imitat+ ! cry ( ! cuckoo4 ,!y _h gr[n uneasy at our abs5ce1 & x 0 ,luci5 :o gave ! usual signal = rally+4 ,at ?is simple rem9d] ( reality ,*>lotte %iv]$4 ,! blood came back to h] *eeks4 ,%e look$ at me ) eyes 9 :i* pride _h driv5 away fe>4 ,%e look$ l "o :o _h j awak$ f a horrible sleep4 ,%e look$ at h] h&s1 :i* /ill %ook1 &1 )\t ano!r ^w1 %e took up h] gloves & h] fl[]s1 & began to run1 yes1 to run l a pursu$ animal1 9 ! direction ( ! voice4 ,t5 m9utes aft] we 7 aga9 on ! road4 8,i d n feel v well10 %e said to h] gov]ness1 z if to anticipate ! "q :i* h] di/urb$ face w\ld provoke2 8w y give me a place 9 ! c>riage8 ,we are go+ home40 8,x is ! heat :i* has made y feel badly10 repli$ ! old demoiselle4 8,& ,m4 ,greslon80 ask$ ,luci5 :5 8 si/] _h tak5 h] seat & he 0 9 beh9d4 8,i w walk10 ,i answ]$4 ,! c>t mov$ lightly on1 9 spite ( its quadruple burd51 :ile ,luci5 wav$ me an adieu4 ,i c\ld see ! hat ( ,mlle4 de ,jussat immovable by ! side ( ! %\ld] ( ! coa*man1 :o gave a 8pull up0 to 8 horse1 !n ! c>riage disappe>$ & ,i walk$ along alone1 "u ! same blue sky1 & betwe5 ! same trees cov]$ ) an impalpable v]dure4 ,b an extraord9>y angui% _h replac$ ! *e]fulness & ! happy ardor ( ! beg9n+ ( ! walk4 ,?is "t ! die _h be5 ?r[n4 ,i _h giv5 battle1 ,i _h lo/2 ,i %\ld be s5t away f ! *teau ignobly4 ,x 0 less ?is prospect :i* ov]came me ?an a /range m+l+ ( regret & ( %ame4 ,behold :i!r my le>n$ psy*ology _h l$ me6 ,behold ! result ( ?is siege en rgle und]tak5 aga9/ ! he>t ( ?is "y girl6 ,n a ^w on h] "p 9 response to ! mo/ impassion$ decl>ation1 & ,i1 at ! mom5t = action1 :at _h ,i f\nd to d b recite "s romantic phrases8 ,& %e1 by a simple ge/ure1 _h fix$ me to my place6 ,i saw 9 imag9ation ! face ( ,c\nt ,&r4 ,i saw 9 a fla% ! expression ( contempt :5 !y %\ld tell him ( ?is sc5e4 ,f9ally1 ,i 0 no long] ! subtle psy*ologi/ or ! excit$ "y man1 ,i 0 a self-love humiliat$ to ! du/ by ! "t ,i rea*$ ! gate ( ! *teau4 ,9 recogniz+ ! lake1 ! l9e ( ! m\nta9s1 ! front ( ! h\se1 pride gave place to a frightful appreh5sion ( :at ,i 0 go+ to suff]1 & ! project cross$ my m9d to flee1 to g back directly to ,cl]mont1 r ?an exp]i5ce anew ! disda9 ( ,mlle4 de ,jussat1 & ! affront :i* h] fa!r w\ld inflict ^u me4 ,x 0 too late1 ! m>quis himself came to meet me1 9 ! pr9cipal av5ue1 accompani$ by ,luci5 :o call$ me4 ,?is cry ( ! *ild _h ! cu/om>y intonation ( famili>ity1 & ! reception ( ! fa!r prov$ t ,i _h be5 wrong to feel myself lo/ s soon4 8,!y ab&on$ y10 said he1 8& did n ev5 ?9k ( s5d+ ! c>riage back = y4 ,y mu/ h walk$ a good /ret*60 ,he consult$ 8 wat*4 8,i am afraid t ,*>lotte has tak5 cold10 he add$1 8%e w5t to b$ z soon z %e came 94 ,^! spr+ suns are s trea*]\s40 8,s ,*>lotte _h said no?+ yet4 ,%e is suff]+ ?is ev5+4 ,t w be = to-morr[10 ?\ght ,i1 & ,i began t ev5+ to pack my pap]s4 ,i held to !m ) s +5u\s a confid5ce 9 my tal5t z a philosoph]6 ,! next day arriv$4 ,no?+ vet4 ,i 0 aga9 ) ,*>lotte at ! breakfa/ table2 %e 0 pale1 z if %e _h pass$ ?r\gh a crisis ( viol5t pa94 ,i saw t ! s\nd ( my voice made h] tremble slightly4 ,!n ?is 0 all4 ,ah6 :at a /range week ,i pass$1 expect+ ea* morn+ t %e _h spok51 crucifi$ by ?is expectation & incapable ( tak+ ! fir/ /ep myself or ( go+ away f ! *teau6 ,?is 0 n alone = want ( a pretext to give4 ,a burn+ curiosity held me !re4 ,i _h wi%$ to live z mu* z to ?9k4 ,well6 ,i 0 liv+1 & 9 :at a fev]6 ,at la/1 ! eigh? day1 ! m>quis ask$ me to come into 8 /udy4 8,?is "t10 said ,i to myself1 8! h\r has /ruck4 ,i l ?is bett]40 ,i expect$ to see a t]rible c\nt5ance1 & to he> "s almo/ insult+ words4 ,i f\nd1 on ! contr>y1 ! hypo*ondriac smil+1 8 eyes bright1 8 mann] "y aga94 8,my daught]10 said he1 8cont9ues to be v unwell4 ,no?+ v s]i\s1 b "s odd n]v\s symptoms4 ,%e wi%es positively to consult a ,p>is physician4 ,y "k %e has be5 v ill & 0 cur$ by a physician 9 :om %e has confid5ce4 ,i %all n be sorry to consult him also = myself4 ,i am go+ ) h] ! day aft] to-morr[4 ,x is possible t we %all take a little j\rney to amuse h]4 ,i desir$ to give y "s p>ticul> directions 9 reg>d to ,luci5 dur+ my abs5ce1 ?\gh ,i am v well pleas$ ) y1 my de> ,monsieur ,greslon1 v well pleas$4 ,i wrote s to ,limasset ye/]day4 ,x is a good ?+ = me t y are "h40 ,y w judge my de> ma/]1 by :at ,i h %[n y ( my "*1 t ^! complim5ts mu/ h flatt]$ me z evid5ce ( ! p]fection ) :i* ,i _h fill$ my rle1 & by reassur+ me aft] my fe>s ( ! la/ days4 ,i saw ?is v cle> & positive fact3 ,*>lotte _h n wi%$ to tell ( my decl>ation1 & ,i ask$ at once3 ,:y8 ,in/ead ( int]pret+ ?is sil5ce 9 a s5se favorable to me1 ,i saw 9 x ?is idea3 %e did n wi% ?r\gh pity to take away my means ( mak+ a liv+1 b x 0 n ! k9d ( pity :i* ,i _h wi%$ to provoke4 ,i _h no soon] imag9$ ?is explanation ?an x became evid5t & insupportable4 8,no10 said ,i1 8t %all n be1 ,i w n accept ! alms ( ?is outrag+ indulg5ce4 ,:5 ,mlle4 de ,jussat returns1 %e w n f9d me "h4 ,%e %[s me :at ,i ought to d1 :at ,i w d4 ,i h desir$ to int]e/ h]1 ,i h n ev5 excit$ h] ang]4 ,i w leave at lea/ "s o!r remembrance ?an t ( a vulg> p$ant :o keeps 8 place 9 spite ( ! wor/ affronts40 ,i 0 s baffl$ 9 my projects2 ! hope :i* _h su/a9$ me all w9t] 0 s dead t ,i wrote out1 on ! night foll[+ ?is conv]sation1 a lett] 9 ! place ( ! "o 9 :i* ,i _h ?\ght to make h] love me1 aga9 ask+ = p>don4 ,i compreh5d1 said ,i1 t any relation is impossible betwe5 u1 & ,i add$ t on h] return %e w\ld n h to endure ! odi\sness ( my pres5ce4 ,! next morn+ 9 ! confusion ( dep>ture1 ,i f\nd a mom5t :5 h] "m hav+ call$ h]1 ,i c\ld slip into h] room4 ,i ha/5$ to put my lett] on h] bureau4 ,!re1 among ! books ready to be put into h] trunk1 0 h] blott+ case4 ,i op5$ x & f\nd an envelope ^u :i* 7 ! words3 ,may #ab1 #ahhf4 ,?is 0 ! day ( ! fatal decl>ation4 ,i op5$ ?is envelope4 ,x conta9$ "s sprigs ( dri$ lilies-(-!-valley1 & ,i rememb] to h giv5 h]1 9 ?is la/ walk1 "s sprigs m beautiful ?an ! o!rs & %e _h put !m 9 h] corsage4 ,%e _h pres]v$ !m !n4 ,%e _h kept !m 9 spite ( :at ,i _h said to h]--because ( :at ,i _h said to h]4 ,i d n believe t ,i ev] exp]i5c$ an emotion comp>able to t :i* seiz$ me !re1 be=e ?is simple envelope1 to ! flood ( pride :i* sudd5ly inundat$ my he>t4 ,yes4 ,*>lotte _h repuls$ me4 ,yes1 %e _h fl$ f me4 ,b %e lov$ me6 ,i clos$ ! case1 ,i w5t up to my room 9 ha/e1 = fe> t %e w\ld surprise me1 )\t leav+ my lett]1 :i* ,i in/antly de/roy$4 ,ah6 !re 0 no "q ( my go+ away n[4 ,i mu/ wait until %e %\ld return1 &1 ?is "t1 ,i w\ld act1 ,i w\ld conqu]4 ,%e lov$ me6 ,v4 ,,! ,,second ,,crisis4 ,%e lov$ me4 ,! exp]i5ce in/itut$ by my pride & my curiosity _h succe$$4 ,?is evid5ce--= ,i did n = a mom5t d\bt ! pro(1 r5d]$ ! dep>ture ( ! "y girl n only supportable1 b almo/ sweet4 ,h] flight 0 expla9$ by a fe> ( h] own emotions :i* prov$ to me _! dep?4 ,& !n1 by go+ away = a few weeks1 %e reliev$ me f a cruel emb>rassm5t4 ,h[ %\ld ,i act8 ,by :at politic safegu>d %\ld ,i pu% on to success f ?is unhop$-= po9t8 ,i 0 ab\t to h leisure to ?9k ( ?is dur+ h] abs5ce1 :i* c\ld n la/ long1 s9ce ! ,jussats _h n[ no h\se except 9 ,auv]gne4 ,def]r+ !n until lat] ! =mation ( a new plan1 ,i gave myself up to ! intoxication ( triumphant self-love :i* ,i witness$ 9 ! dep>ture ( ,*>lotte & ( h] fa!r4 ,i _h tak5 leave ( !m 9 ! draw+-room 9 ord] n to emb>rass ! f9al adieus1 & return$ to my room4 ,! w>m1 cordial h&-%ake ( ! m>quis1 prov$ once m h[ /rongly ,i 0 an*or$ 9 ! h\se1 & ,i _h div9$ beh9d ! cool f>ewell ( ! girl ! palpitation ( a he>t :i* did n wi% to yield4 ,i inhabit$ 9 ! second /ory a corn] room ) a w9d[ on ! front ( ! *teau ,i plac$ myself beh9d ! curta9 s t ,i c\ld see !m z !y ent]$ ! c>riage4 ,x 0 a victoria encumb]$ ) wraps & drawn by ! same light bay horse t _h drawn ! ,engli% c>t4 ,!re 0 also ! same coa*man on ! seat1 :ip 9 h&1 & ) ! same immobility ( c\nt5ance4 ,! m>quis appe>$1 !n ,*>lotte4 ,"u ! veil & f su* a height1 ,i c\ld n di/+ui% h] features1 & :5 %e rais$ ! veil to dry h] eyes1 ,i c\ld n h told :e!r x 7 ! la/ kisses ( h] "m & h] bro!r :i* caus$ ?is access ( n]v\s emotion or despair at a too pa9ful resolution4 ,b1 :5 ! c>riage turn$ away t[>d ! gate1 ,i saw h] turn h] head2 & z ! family _h already gone 9 :at c\ld %e be look+ at s long1 if n at ! w9d[ f ^: %elt] ,i 0 reg>d+ h]8 ,!n a clump ( trees hid ! c>riage1 :i* reappe>$ at ! bord] ( ! lake to disappe> aga9 & plunge into ! road :i* crosses ! wood ( ,pradat--t road :]e a s\v5ir await$ h]1 :i* ,i 0 c]ta9 w\ld make h] he>t beat m quickly--t tr\bl$1 conqu]$ he>t4 ,?is s5tim5t ( pride satisfi$ me = an entire mon?1 )\t a m9ute's int]ruption1 &--pro( t ,i 0 /ill entirely intellectual & psy*ological 9 my relations ) ?is "y girl1 my m9d 0 nev] m cle>1 m supple1 m skillful 9 ! h&l+ ( ideas ?an at ?is p]iod4 ,i wrote !n my be/ pages1 a treatise on ! work+ ( ! w dur+ sleep4 ,i put into x1 ) ! delight ( a savant :i* y w und]/&1 all ! details :i* ,i _h not$1 = "s mon?s1 on ! go+s & com+s1 ! heights & dep?s ( my resolutions4 ,i _h kept1 z ,i h told y1 a mo/ precise j\rnal1 analyz+1 9 ! ev5+ be=e go+ to sleep1 & 9 ! morn+1 z soon z ,i 0 awake1 ! lea/ %ades ( e /ate ( m9d4 ,yes1 ^! 7 days ( a s+ul> fullness4 ,i 0 v free4 ,mlle4 ,l>geyx & ,si/] ,anaclet kept ! m>quise company4 ,my pupil & ,i took advantage ( ! beautiful & mild days = walk+4 ,"u ! pretext ( tea*+ ,i _h cultivat$ 9 him a love ( butt]flies4 ,arm$ ) a long cane & a net ( gre5 gauze1 he con/antly ran aft] ! ,auroras ) w+s bord]$ ) orange1 ! blue ,arguses1 ! br[n ,morio's1 ! mottl$ ,vulcans & ! gold-color$ ,citrons4 ,he left me alone ) my ?\ghts4 ,sometimes we took ! ,pradat road :i* 0 n[ adorn$ ) all ! v]dure ( spr+1 sometimes we w5t t[>d ,v]neuge1 t[>d ! valley ( ,sa9t-,g5s-,*ampanelle1 :i* is z gracefully pretty z its "n4 ,i w\ld seat myself ^u a block ( lava1 "s small fragm5t ( ! enorm\s /ream p\r$ out by ! ,puy de la ,va*e1 & !re1 )\t tr\bl+ my head ab\t ,luci51 ,i ab&on$ myself to ?is /range disposition :i* has always appe>$ to me 9 ! mid/ ( ?is savage nature1 z a /rik+ symbol ( my doctr9es1 a type ( implacable fatality1 a c\ncil ( absolute indiff]5ce to good or ill4 ,i look$ at ! leaves ( ! trees z !y unfold$ 9 ! sunlight1 & ,i recall$ ! kn[n laws ( vegetable respiration1 & h[1 by a simple modification ( light1 ! life ( ! plant c be *ang$4 ,9 ! same way1 "o ought to be able at w to direct ! life ( ! s\l1 if he c\ld exactly "k its laws4 ,i _h already succe$$ 9 creat+ ! comm5cem5t ( a passion 9 ! s\l ( a "y girl1 sep>at$ f me by an abyss4 ,:at new proc$ures appli$ ) rigor w\ld p]mit me to increase ! int5sity ( ?is passion8 ,i =got ! magnific5ce ( ! heav5s1 ! fre%ness ( ! wood1 ! maje/y ( ! volcanoes1 ! va/ l&scape spread out be=e me1 9 see+ only ! =mulas ( moral algebra4 ,i hesitat$ betwe5 div]se solutions = ! next day on :i* ,i %\ld h ,mlle4 de ,jussat face to face ) me 9 ! solitude ( ! *teau4 ,ought ,i on h] return to feign indiff]5ce1 to disconc]t h]1 to subdue h]1 fir/ by a/oni%m5t & !n by self-love & grief8 ,%\ld ,i pique h] jeal\sy by ins9uat+ t ! =eign] ( my soi-disant romance _h return$ to ,cl]mont & _h writt5 to me8 ,%\ld ,i1 on ! contr>y1 cont9ue ! burn+ decl>ations1 ! audacities :i* surr\nd1 ! follies :i* intoxicate8 ,i replac$ ^! hypo!ses successively by /ill o!rs4 ,i pleas$ myself by say+ t ,i 0 n 9 love1 t ! philosoph] rul$ ! lov]1 t myself1 ?is de> self ( :om ,i _h con/itut$ myself ! prie/1 rema9$ sup]ior & lucid4 ,i br&$ z unwor?y weaknesses ! rev]ies :i* at o!r times replac$ ^! subtle calculations4 ,x 0 9 ! h\se t ^! rev]ies took hold ^u me1 :5 ,i look$ at ! portraits ( ,*>lotte :i* 7 scatt]$ ab\t ev]y:]e on ! walls ( ! salon1 on ! tables & 9 ,luci5's room4 ,photographs ( all sizes repres5t$ h] at six ye>s1 at t5 ye>s1 at fifte51 & ,i c\ld trace ! gr[? ( h] beauty f ! mignonne grace ( h] fir/ ye>s to ! delicate *>m ( to-day4 ,! features ( ^! photographs *ang$1 b ! expression nev]4 ,x 0 ! same 9 ! eyes ( ! *ild & 9 ^? ( ! "y girl1 ) some?+ ( s]i\sness1 ( t5d]ness & ( fix$ness :i* reveal$ pr(\nd s5sibility4 ,x 0 impress$ ^u me1 & ! remembrance ( x agitates me ) a confus$ emotion4 ,ah6 ,:y did ,i n give myself up to x entirely4 ,b :y 0 ,*>lotte1 9 s _m ( ^! portraits by ! side ( h] bro!r ,&r8 ,:at secret fibre ( hate _h ?is man1 by 8 exi/5ce alone1 t\*$ 9 my he>t1 t simply to see 8 image ne> t ( 8 si/] dri$ up my t5d]ness & left 9 me only "o wi%8 ,i d>$ to =mulate x1 n[ t ,i believ$ ,i _h tak5 ?is he>t 9 my sn>e4 ,yes1 ,i wi%$ to be ,*>lotte's lov]4 ,& aft]8 ,aft]8 ,i =c$ myself n to ?9k ( t1 z ,i =c$ myself to de/roy ! in/9ctive scruples ( violat$ hospitality4 ,i collect$ ! mo/ mascul9e en]gies ( my m9d & ,i plung$ m deeply into my !ories ^u ! cultivation ( self4 ,i w\ld g out ( ?is exp]i5ce enri*$ by emotions & remembrances4 ,su* w\ld be ! moral issue ( ! adv5ture4 ,! mat]ial issue w\ld be ! return to my "m's h\se :5 my preceptorate 0 end$4 ,:5 scruples became ar\s$1 & a voice said3 8,& ,*>lotte8 ,h y ! "r to treat h] z a simple object ( exp]i5ce80 ,i took my ,sp9oza1 & ,i read !re ! !orem 9 :i* x is writt5 t our "r is only limit$ by our p[]4 ,i took y\r 8,!ory ( ! ,passions0 & ,i /udi$ !re y\r phrases on ! duel betwe5 ! sexes 9 love4 8,x is ! law ( ! _w10 ,i reason$1 8t all exi/5ce %\ld be a conque/1 execut$ & ma9ta9$ by ! /ronge/ at ! exp5se ( ! feeble/4 ,t is z true ( ! moral univ]se z ( ! physical4 ,!re are "s s\ls ( prey z !re are wolves1 tig]s & hawks40 ,?is =mula seem$ to me /rong1 new & j4 ,i appli$ x to myself1 & ,i repeat$3 8,i am a s\l ( prey1 a s\l ( prey10 ) a furi\s attack ( :at ! my/ics call ! pride ( life1 among ! fre% v]dure1 "u ! blue sky1 on ! bank ( ! cle> riv] :i* fl[s f ! m\nta9s to ! lake4 ,?is exhil>ation at my victori\s pride 0 dissipat$ by a v simple fact4 ,! m>quis wrote t he w\ld return1 b alone4 ,mlle4 de ,jussat1 :o 0 /ill unwell1 w\ld rema9 ) a si/] ( h] "m4 ,:5 ! m>quise communicat$ ?is news to u we 7 at table4 ,i felt a spasm ( ang] s viol5t t x a/oni%$ myself1 & on ! plea ( sudd5 indisposition ,i left ! d9n] table4 ,i %\ld l to h cri$ out1 brok5 some?+ or manife/$ 9 "s fooli% way ! rage :i* %ook my s\l4 ,9 ! fev] ( vanity :i* _h exalt$ me s9ce ! dep>ture ( ,*>lotte1 ,i _h =ese5 ev]y?+1 except t ?is girl w\ld h "* en\gh n to return to ,aydat4 ,! way :i* %e _h f\nd to escape f h] s5tim5t 0 s simple1 b s sov]eign1 s complete4 ,! m>vel\s tactics ( my psy*ology became z va9 z ! me*anism ( ! be/ cannon aga9/ an enemy out ( rea* ( its %ot4 ,:at c\ld ,i d if %e 7 n !re8 ,! vision ( my weakness rose up s /rong1 s pa9ful1 t x excit$ my n]v\s sy/em s pr(\ndly t ,i nei!r ate nor slept until ! arrival ( ! m>quis4 ,i %\ld !n le>n if ?is resolution exclud$ all hope ( a c\nt] ord]--if !re 7 any *ance t ! "y girl w\ld return by ! end ( ,july1 or 9 ,augu/1 or 9 ,septemb]4 ,my engagem5t w\ld la/ until ! middle ( ,octob]4 ,my he>t beat1 my ?roat 0 *ok$ :ile we walk$1 ,luci5 & ,i1 9 ! railroad /ation ( ,cl]mont1 wait+ = ! tra9 f ,p>is4 ,9 ! excess ( my impati5ce ,i _h obta9$ p]mission to come to meet ! fa!r4 ,! locomotive ent]$ ! /ation4 ,m4 de ,jussat put 8 head ?r\gh a doorway4 ,i said at ! risk ( reveal+ my feel+s3 8,& ,mlle4 ,*>lotte80 8,?ank y1 ?ank y10 he answ]$1 press+ my h& ) feel+1 8! physician says t %e has a v s]i\s n]v\s tr\ble4 ,x seems t ! m\nta9s are n good = h]4 ,& ,i am well only high up6 ,ah6 ,?is is pa9ful1 v pa9ful4 ,we %all try = a "t1 ! cold-wat] cure at ,p>is1 & !n at ,nris p]haps40 ,%e w\ld n return6 ,if ev] ,i h regrett$1 my de> ma/]1 ! notebook :i* ,i burn$1 x is assur$ly n[1 & ?is daily record ( my ?\ghts f ! ev5+ on :i* ! m>quis ?us ann\nc$ ! def9ite abs5ce ( 8 daught]4 ,?is record cont9u$ until ,octob]1 :5 a circum/ance brusquely *ang$ ! probable c\rse ( ?+s4 ,y w\ld h f\nd !re1 z 9 an atlas ( moral anatomy1 an illu/ration ( y\r beautiful analysis ( love1 desire1 regret1 jeal\sy1 & hate4 ,yes1 dur+ ^? f\r mon?s ,i w5t ?r\gh all ^! phases4 ,x 0 an insane attempt1 b q natural1 p]suad$ z ,i 0 t ,*>lotte's abs5ce only prov$ h] passion4 ,i wrote to h]4 ,9 t lett]1 delib]ately compos$1 ,i began by ask+ h] p>don = my audacity 9 ! ,pradat wood1 & ,i r5ew$ ?is audacity 9 a worse mann]1 by draw+ a burn+ picture ( my despair away f h]4 ,?is lett] 0 a wild] decl>ation ?an ! o!r1 & s bold t once ! envelope _h disappe>$ 9 ! box at ! village po/-(fice :i!r ,i _h c>ri$ x myself1 my fe>s 7 r5ew$4 ,two days1 ?ree days1 & !re 0 no reply4 ,! lett] at lea/ 0 n return$1 z ,i _h fe>$1 )\t ev5 be+ op5$4 ,at ?is "t ! m>quise _h f9i%$ h] prep>ations to jo9 h] daught]4 ,h] si/] occupi$ at ,p>is 9 ! ,rue de ,*analeilles1 a h\se l>ge en\gh to give to ^! ladies all ! rooms !y ne$$4 ,htel de ,s]moises1 ,rue de ,*analeilles1 ,p>is1 :at emotions ,i h _h 9 writ+ ?is address1 n only once1 b five or six times4 ,i calculat$ t ! aunt w\ld n wat* ! correspond5ce ( ! "y girl v /rictly1 :ile ! "m w\ld wat* h]4 ,x 0 necess>y to take advantage ( ! "t ! latt] /ill rema9$ at ,aydat1 to /r5g!n ! impression c]ta9ly produc$ by my lett]4 ,i wrote e day1 until ! dep>ture ( ! m>quise1 lett]s l ! fir/1 & ,i f\nd no tr\ble 9 play+ ! lov]4 ,my passionate desire to h ,*>lotte return 0 s9c]e--z s9c]e z unreasonable4 ,i h kn[n s9ce t1 at e arrival ( ^! dang]\s missives1 %e /ruggl$ = h\rs aga9/ ! temptation to op5 ! envelope4 ,at la/ %e op5$ x4 ,%e read & r]ead ! pages & _! poison act$ surely4 ,z %e 0 ignorant ( ! discov]y ,i _h made ( h] secret1 %e did n ?9k to def5d h]self aga9/ ! op9ion t ,i c\ld h conceiv$ ( h]4 ,^! lett]s affect$ h] s mu* t %e pres]v$ !m4 ,! a%es 7 f\nd 9 ! *imney ( h] room :]e %e _h burn$ !m ! night ( h] dea?4 ,i mu* suspect$ ! tr\bl+ effect ( ^! pages :i* ,i scrat*$ (f 9 ! night1 excit$ by ! ?\ght t ,i 0 fir+ my la/ c>tridges1 :i* resembl$ %ots 9 a fog1 s9ce no sign gave notice t e "t ,i aim$ ,i /ruck "r into h] he>t4 ,?is absolute unc]ta9ty ,i at fir/ int]pret$ to my advantage2 !n1 :5 ! "m _h left ! *teau & ,i saw ! impossibility ( writ+1 ,i f\nd 9 ,*>lotte's sil5ce ! mo/ evid5t pro(1 n t %e lov$ me1 b t %e 0 us+ h] :ole w to conqu] ?is love & t %e w\ld succe$4 8,ah1 well60 ,i ?\ght1 8,i %all h to give h] up1 s9ce ,i _c rea* h]1 & all is ov]40 ,i pron\nc$ ^! words al\d alone 9 my room z ,i he>d ! c>riage :i* took ! m>quise roll away4 ,m4 de ,jussat & ,luci5 accompani$ h] z f> z ,m>tris-de-,veyre1 :]e %e w5t to take ! tra94 8,yes10 ,i repeat$1 8all is end$4 ,:at diff]5ce does x make s9ce ,i d n love h]80 ,at ! mom5t ?is ?\ght left me relatively tranquil & ) no o!r tr\ble ?an a vague feel+ ( uneas9ess 9 ! *e/1 z happ5s :5 we are annoy$4 ,i w5t out = ! purpose ( %ak+ (f ev5 ?is uneas9ess1 &1 9 "o ( ^? fits ( bravado1 by :i* ,i 0 pleas$ to prove my /r5g?1 ,i w5t to ! place 9 :i* ,i _h d>$ to speak to ,*>lotte ( my love4 ,9 ord] ! bett] to atte/ my lib]ty ( s\l1 ,i _h tak5 "u my arm a new book :i* ,i _h j receiv$1 a translation ( ,d>w9's lett]s4 ,! day 0 mi/y1 b almo/ scor*+4 ,a k9d ( simoon ( w9d f ! s\? p>*$ ! bran*es ( ! trees ) its brea?4 ,z ,i w5t on ?is w9d affect$ my n]ves4 ,i desir$ to attribute to its influ5ce ! increase ( my uneas9ess4 ,aft] "s fruitless se>* 9 ! wood ( ,pradat1 ,i at la/ f\nd ! cle>+ :]e we _h be5--! /one--! bir*4 ,x trembl$ con/antly 9 ! brea? ( ! w9d1 ) its d5tat$ foliage :i* 0 n[ mu* ?ick]4 ,i _h int5d$ to read my book "h4 ,i sat d[n & op5$ ! book4 ,i c\ld n get beyond a half page4 ,! memories ov]came me1 took possession ( me1 %[+ me ?is girl ^u ?is same /one1 arrang+ ! sprays ( h] lilies1 !n /&+1 lean+ aga9/ ?is tree1 !n fright5$ & flee+ ov] ! grass ( ! pa?4 ,an indef9able grief took possession ( me1 oppress+ my he>t1 /ifl+ my respiration1 fill+ my eyes ) scald+ te>s1 & ,i felt1 ) t]ror1 t ?r\gh s any complications ( analysis & ( subtleties1 ,i 0 desp]ately 9 love ) ! *ild :o 0 n !re1 :o w\ld nev] be !re aga94 ,?is discov]y1 s /rangely unexpect$1 & ( a s5tim5t s contr>y to ! programme ,i _h arrang$1 0 accompani$ almo/ imm$iately by a revulsion aga9/ ?is s5tim5t & aga9/ ! image ( h] :o _h caus$ me ?is pa94 ,!re 0 n a day dur+ ! long weeks t foll[$ t ,i did n /ruggle aga9/ ! %ame ( hav+ be5 tak5 9 my own sn>e & )\t feel+ a bitt] spite aga9/ ! abs5t "o4 ,i recogniz$ ! dep? ( 8 spite at ! infam\s joy :i* fill$ my he>t :5 ! m>quis receiv$ a lett] f ,p>is1 :i* he read ) a fr[n & sigh$ z he said3 8,*>lotte is /ill unwell40 ,i felt a consolation1 a mis]able "o1 b a consolation all ! same1 9 say+ to myself t ,i _h w\nd$ h] ) a poison\s w\nd & "o :i* w\ld be sl[ to heal4 ,x seem$ to me t ?is w\ld be my true rev5ge1 if %e %\ld cont9ue to suff]1 & ,i %\ld be ! fir/ to cure h]4 ,i appeal$ to ! philosoph] t ,i 0 s pr\d ( be+ to drive out ! lov]4 ,i resum$ my old reason+4 8,!re are laws ( life & ( m9d & ,i "k !m4 ,i _c apply !m to ,*>lotte1 s9ce %e has fl$ f me4 ,%all ,i be incapable ( apply+ !m to myself80 ,& ,i m$itat$ on ?is new "q3 8,are !re rem$ies aga9/ love8 ,yes1 !re are1 & ,i h f\nd !m40 ,my quasi-ma!matical habits ( analysis 7 at my s]vice 9 my project ( heal+1 & ,i resolv$ ! problem into its elem5ts1 aft] ! mann] ( geometricians4 ,i r$uc$ ?is "q to ?is o!r3 8,:at is love80 to :i* ,i answ]$ brutally by y\r def9ition3 8,love is ! obsession ( sex40 ,n[1 h[ is ?is combat$8 ,by physical fatigue1 :i* susp5ds1 or at lea/ less5s1 ! action ( ! m9d4 ,i compell$ myself & ,i compell$ my pupil to take long walks4 ,! days on :i* he _h no lessons1 ,sundays & ,?ursdays1 ,i w5t out alone at ! break ( day1 aft] hav+ arrang$ ! h\r & ! place 9 :i* ,luci5 %\ld jo9 me ) ! c>riage4 ,i awoke at two o'clock4 ,i w5t out f ! *teau1 9 ! cold ( ! half-twilight :i* prec$es ! dawn4 ,i w5t /raight be=e me1 frantically1 *oos+ ! wor/ pa?s1 asc5d+ ! ne>e/ peaks by ! mo/ abrupt & almo/ inaccessible sides4 ,i risk$ break+ my limbs 9 desc5d+ ! yield+ s& ( ! crat]s1 or ^u ! cre/s ( basalt4 ,no matt]4 ,! orange l9e ( ! aurora ga9$ ! bord] ( ! sky4 ,! w9d ( ! new day beat aga9/ my face4 ,! />s l preci\s /ones melt$ away1 dr[n$ 9 ! flood ( azure1 n[ pale1 n[ d>k]4 ,! sun light$ up1 on ! fl[]s1 ! trees & ! grass a fla%+ ( sp>kl+ dew4 ,p]suad$ z ,i am1 ( ! laws ( prehi/oric atavism1 ,i ar\s$ 9 myself1 by ! s5sation ( ! =c$ m>* & ( ! heights1 ! rudim5t>y m9d ( ! ance/ral brute1 ( ! man ( ! caves f :om ,i1 z well z ! re/ ( mank9d1 am desc5d$4 ,i atta9$ 9 ?is way a sort ( savage delirium1 b x 0 nei!r ! dream$-( joy nor peace1 & x 0 int]rupt$ by ! smalle/ rem9isc5ce ( my relations ) ,*>lotte4 ,! turn ( a road :i* we _h foll[$ toge!r1 ! blue bosom ( ! lake se5 f "s height1 ! outl9e ( ! slat$ ro(s ( ! *teau1 less ?an t1 ev5 ! trembl+ foliage ( a bir* & its silv]y trunk1 ! "n ( a village ( :i* %e _h spok51 on an adv]tisem5t1 0 suffici5t1 & ?is factiti\s fr5zy gave place to ! ke5 regret t %e 0 n ne> me4 ,i he>d h] say 9 h] f9ely-ton$ voice3 8,look !n--0 z %e w\ld say :5 we w&]$ toge!r1 ?r\gh ?is same region1 :i* 0 !n cov]$ ) ice & sn[--b ! fl[] ( h] beauty 0 !n 9 bloom1 n[ x 0 adorn$ ) v]dure1 b ! liv+ fl[] 0 gone4 ,& ?is s5sation became m intol]able /ill :5 ,i met ,luci51 :o nev] fail$ to talk ( h]4 ,he lov$ h]1 he admir$ h] s lov+ly1 & 9 8 +5u\sness he gave me s _m pro(s t %e 0 wor?y ( be+ lov$ & admir$4 ,!n physical we>9ess resolv$ itself into a worse en]vation1 & nights foll[$ 9 :i* ,i suff]$ f an excit$ insomnia1 9 :i* ,i w\ld weep al\d1 call+ h] "n l "o d]ang$4 8,x is ?r\gh ! m9d t ,i suff]10 ,i said aft] hav+ 9 va9 s\ght ! rem$y 9 great fatigue4 8,i w attack m9d ?r\gh m9d40 ,i und]took t /udy ! mo/ completely oppos$ to all fem99e preoccupation4 ,i despoil$ 9 less ?an a =tnight1 p5 9 h&1 two hundr$ pages ( t 8,physiology0 ( ,beaunis :i* ,i _h br\ght 9 my trunk & ! h>de/ = me1 ^? :i* treat ( ! *emi/ry ( liv+ bodies4 ,my ef=ts to und]/& & to sum up ^! analyses :i* dem& ! laboratory1 7 supremely 9 va94 ,i only succe$$ 9 /upefy+ my intellect & 9 mak+ myself less capable ( resi/+ a fix$ idea4 ,i saw t ,i _h aga9 tak5 ! wrong road4 ,0 n ! true me?od r t :i* ,goe! pr(ess$--to apply ! m9d to t f :i* we wi% to be deliv]$8 ,?is great m9d1 :o knew h[ to live1 ?us put 9 practice ! !ory set up 9 ! fif? book ( ,sp9oza1 & :i* consi/s 9 evolv+ f ! accid5ts ( our p]sonal life ! law :i* unites u to ! great life ( ! univ]se4 ,m4 ,ta9e1 9 8 eloqu5t pages on ,byron1 advises ! same1 8! light ( ! m9d produces 9 u s]5ity ( ! he>t40 ,& y1 my de> ma/]1 :at else say y 9 ! preface to y\r 8,!ory ( ! ,passions40 8,to consid] "o's own de/9y z a coroll>y 9 ?is liv+ geometry ( nature1 & z an inevitable consequ5ce ( ?is et]nal axiom ^: inf9ite developm5t is prolong$ ?r\gh "t & space1 is ! only pr9ciple ( enfran*isem5t40 ,& :at else am ,i do+1 at ?is h\r1 9 writ+ out ?is memoir1 b con=m+ to ^! maxims8 ,c !y s]ve me n[ any bett] ?an !y did !n8 ,i tri$ at t "t to resume 9 a k9d ( new autobiography ! hi/ory ( my feel+s = ,*>lotte4 ,i suppos$--see h[ *ance sometimes /rangely realizes our dreams--a great psy*ologi/ to be consult$ by a "y man2 &1 t[>d ! la/1 ! psy*ologi/ wrote out = ! use ( ! moral invalid a passional diagnosis ) indication ( causes4 ,i wrote ?is piece dur+ ! mon? ( ,augu/ & "u ! exhau/+ influ5ce ( ! mo/ torrid heat4 ,i devot$ to x ab\t fifte5 sances1 la/+ f t5 o'clock 9 ! ev5+ to "o o'clock 9 ! morn+1 all ! w9d[s op51 ) ! space ar\nd my lamp bright5$ by l>ge night-mo?s1 by ^! l>ge velvet butt]flies :i* be> on _! bodies ! impr9t ( a dea?'s head4 ,! moon rose1 inundat+ ) its blui% light ! lake ov] :i* ran ! pe>ly reflections2 ! woods ^: my/]y grew m pr(\nd1 & ! l9e ( ! ext9ct volcanoes4 ,i put d[n my p5 to lose myself1 9 pres5ce ( ?is mute l&scape1 9 "o ( ^? cosmogonic rev]ies to :i* ,i 0 accu/om$4 ,z at ! "t 9 :i* ! words ( my poor fa!r reveal$ to me ! hi/ory ( ! _w1 ,i saw aga9 ! primitive nebul\sness1 !n ! e>? deta*$ f x1 & ! moon ?r[n (f f ! e>?4 ,t moon 0 dead1 & ! e>? w\ld die also4 ,%e 0 becom+ *ill$ second by second2 & ! imp]ceptible consequ5ce ( ^! seconds1 add$ toge!r dur+ millions ( ye>s1 _h already ext+ui%$ ! fire ( ! volcanoes f :i* =m]ly fl[$ ! burn+ & deva/at+ lava on :i* ! *teau n[ /ood4 ,9 cool+ ?is lava _h rais$ a b>ri] to ! c\rse ( ! wat] :i* spread into a lake1 & ! wat] ( ?is lake 0 be+ evaporat$ z ! atmosph]e dim9i%$--^! =ty poor kilomet]s ( respirable air :i* surr\nd ! planet4 ,i clos$ my eyes1 & ,i felt ?is mortal globe roll ?r\gh ! inf9ite space1 unconsci\s ( ! little worlds t come & g ^u x1 z ! imm5sity ( space is unconsci\s ( ! suns1 ! moons & ! e>?s4 ,! planet w roll on :5 x w be only a ball )\t air & )\t wat]1 f :i* man has disappe>$1 z well z animals & plants4 ,in/ead ( br++ to me ! s]5ity ( contemplation1 ?is vision ?rew me back ^u myself & made me feel ) t]ror ! consci\sness ( my own p]son1 ! only reality t ,i c\ld possess1 & = h[ long8 ,sc>cely a po9t & a mom5t6 ,!n1 9 ?is irrep>able flight ( ?+s1 ?is po9t & ?is mom5t ( our consci\sness rema9s our only good1 we mu/ exalt x by increas+ its int5sity4 ,i felt1 ) a frightful =ce1 t ?is sov]eign int5sity ( emotion ,*>lotte alone c\ld give me if %e 7 9 ?is room1 seat$ 9 ?is *air1 unit+ h] condemn$ s\l to my condemn$ s\l1 h] fleet+ y\? to my fleet+ y\?1 & z all ! in/rum5ts ( an or*e/ra h>monize to produce a s+le tone1 all ! sep>ate =ces ( my be+1 ! intellectual1 ! s5tim5tal1 ! s5sual unit$ 9 a ye>n+ = ,*>lotte4 ,alas6 ,! vision ( ! univ]se height5$ ! fr5zy ( ! p]sonal life in/ead ( calm+ x4 ,i said to myself t )\t d\bt ,i _h be5 deceiv$ 9 believ+ myself a purely ab/ract & intellectual be+4 ,dur+ ! mon?s 9 :i* ,i _h be5 entirely *a/e _h ,i n liv$ contr>y to my nature8 ,"u pretext ( "s family bus9ess to regulate ,i obta9$ ( ! m>quis a vacation ( eight days4 ,i w5t to ,cl]mont & s\ght = ,m>ianne4 ,i soon f\nd h]4 ,%e 0 no long] ! simple work+-woman4 ,a c\ntry proprietor _h settl$ h]1 dress$ h] 9 f9e clo!s1 & com+ to ! city only "o day 9 eight1 left h] a sort ( lib]ty4 ,?is re-entrance into ! _w affect$ me z a r5ewal ( initiation4 ,i 0 desir\s ( kn[+ to :at degree ! memory ( ,*>lotte gangr5$ my s\l4 ,ah6 h[ ! image ( ,mlle4 de ,jussat pres5t$ itself at t mom5t ) h] ,madonna-l pr(ile & ! delicacy ( h] :ole be+4 ,x 0 impossible = me to return to ^! base idols4 ,i pass$ ! days :i* rema9$ to me 9 walk+ ) my "m1 :o see+ me s melan*oly became uneasy & increas$ my sadness by h] que/ions4 ,i saw ! "t ( my return to ! *teau approa* ) pleasure4 ,at lea/ ,i c\ld live !re among my memories4 ,b a t]rible bl[ await$ me1 :i* 0 giv5 me by ! m>quis on my arrival4 8,good news10 said he z soon z he saw me4 8,*>lotte is bett]4 ,& !re is m j z good4 ,%e is go+ to be m>ri$4 ,yes1 %e accepts ,m4 de ,plane4 ,x is true1 y d n "k him1 a fri5d ( ,&r :om %e refus$ once1 & n[ %e is will+40 ,& he cont9u$1 go+ back to himself z usual3 8,yes1 x is v good news1 =1 y see1 ,i h n mu* long] to live4 ,i am brok51 v mu* brok540 ,he might detail to me 8 imag9>y ills1 analyze 8 /oma* z mu* z he wi%$1 8 g\t1 8 inte/9es1 8 he>t1 8 head--,i li/5$ no m ?an a condemn$ man to :om 8 s5t5ce has be5 ann\nc$ li/5s to ! words ( 8 jail]4 ,i saw only ! fact s pa9ful to me4 ,y :o h writt5 "s admirable pages ^u jeal\sy1 my de> ma/]1 & ^u ! ravages :i* ! ?\ght alone ( ! c>ess ( a rival produces 9 ! imag9ation ( a lov]1 c div9e :at sm>t+ poison ?is news p\r$ into my w\nd4 ,may1 ,june1 ,july1 ,augu/1 ,septemb]--ne>ly five mon?s s9ce ,*>lotte _h gone1 & ?is w\nd in/ead ( heal+ _h become enl>g$1 poison$ until ?is la/ /roke :i* f9i%$ me4 ,?is "t ,i did n h ! cruel consolation t my suff]+ 0 %>$4 ,?is m>riage prov$ to me t %e 0 cur$ ( h] s5tim5t = me1 :ile ,i 0 agoniz$ by m9e = h]4 ,my fury 0 exasp]at$ at ! ?\ght t ?is love _h be5 snat*$ f me j at ! mom5t ,i 0 ab\t to be able to develop x 9 its fullness1 at ! v "t ( decisive action4 ,i saw ,*>lotte 9 ,p>is1 :]e ,m4 de ,plane 0 pass+ 8 leave ( abs5ce1 receiv+ h] fianc 9 ! p>tial tte--tte ) a famili>ity p]mitt$ "u ! indulg5t eyes ( ! m>quise4 ,!y 7 = ?is man n[1 ^! smiles at once pr\d & timid1 ^! t5d] & anxi\s looks1 ^! passages ( pal5ess & mode/ r$ ov] h] delicate face1 ^! ge/ures ( a grace always a little wild4 ,f9ally %e lov$ him1 s9ce %e 0 will+ to m>ry him4 ,& he seem$ to me l ,c\nt ,&r ^: dete/able influ5ce ,i f\nd ev5 "h1 & :om ,i aga9 hat$ 9 ! fianc ( 8 si/] conf\nd+ ^! two g5tlem51 ^! two eld]s1 ^! two (fic]s1 9 ! same furi\s antipa?y4 ,va9 & pu]ile ang] :i* ,i took ) me into ! wood already reclo!d ) ^? vague t9ts :i* w\ld soon *ange to russet4 ,! swall[s 7 assembl+ = _! dep>ture4 ,z ! hunt+ season _h begun !re 0 fir+ all ar\nd !m1 & fright5$1 !y rose 9 a flight su* z t by :i* ! wild bird _h escap$ :i* ,i _h ?\ght to br+ d[n "s day4 ,t[>d ,sa9t-,saturn91 ! hills 7 plant$ ) v9es ^: grapes w\ld soon be ripe = ! v9tage4 ,i saw ! /ocks wid[$ ( fruit1 ^? :i* ! hail/orms ( ! spr+ _h de/roy$ 9 _! fl[]4 ,?us _h di$ on ! spot1 be=e be+ ripe1 my v9tage1 v9tage ( intoxicat+ emotions1 ( sweet felicities1 ( burn+ ec/asies4 ,i felt a gloomy & indef9able pleasure 9 seek+ ev]y:]e 9 ! c\ntry "s symbol ( my s5tim5t1 s9ce ,i 01 = a %ort "t1 purifi$ f all calculation by ! al*emy ( grief4 ,if ,i 0 ev] a true lov] & giv5 up to regrets1 memories & despairs1 x 0 9 ^? days :i* mu/ be ! la/ ( my /ay at ,aydat4 ,9 fact1 ! m>quis ann\nc$ 8 int5tion to ha/5 8 dep>ture4 ,he _h abdicat$ 8 hypo*ondria1 & he *e]fully said to me3 8,i adore my future son-9-law4 ,i wi% t y c\ld "k him4 ,he is loyal1 he is brave1 he is good1 he is pr\d4 ,true g5tlemanly blood 9 8 ve9s4 ,d y und]/& ! wom58 ,"h is "o :o is no silli] ?an ! re/1 is x n s8 ,two ye>s ago he (f]$ himself to h]4 ,%e said no4 ,!n my boy goes away to come back half-dead4 ,& !n x is yes4 ,d y "k1 ,i h always ?\ght t !re 0 "s love-affair 9 h] n]v\s malady4 ,i knew x4 ,i said to myself3 %e is 9 love ) "s "o4 ,x 0 he4 ,& :at if he _h n want$ h]1 all ! same80 ,no1 x 0 n ,m4 de ,plane :om ,*>lotte _h lov$ t w9t]2 b %e _h lov$1 t 0 c]ta94 ,our exi/5ces _h cross$ at "o po9t1 l ! two roads :i* ,i saw f my w9d[1 ! "o :i* desc5ds ! m\nta9s & goes t[>d ! fatal wood ( ,pradat1 ! o!r :i* leads t[>d ! ,puy de la ,rodde4 ,i happ5$ to see1 at ! close ( ! day ! c>riages foll[+ ^! two roads4 ,aft] almo/ graz+ ea* o!r1 !y 7 lo/ 9 opposite directions4 ,?us 7 our de/9ies sep>at$ =ev]4 ,! ,b>oness de la ,plane w\ld live 9 ! _w1 at ,p>is1 & t repres5t$ to me a :irlpool ( unkn[n & fasc9at+ s5sations4 ,i knew too well my future life4 ,9 ?\ght1 ,i awoke aga9 9 ! little room ( ! ,rue du ,bill>d4 ,9 ?\ght ,i foll[$ ! ?ree /reets :i* x is necess>y to take to g f !re to ! ,faculty4 ,i ent]$ ! palace ( ! ,academy1 built 9 r$ brick1 & ,i rea*$ ! salle des confr5ces ) its b>e walls g>ni%$ ) blackbo>ds4 ,i li/5$ to ! pr(essor analyz+ "s au?or on lic5se or admission4 ,t la/$ an h\r & a half1 !n ,i return$1 my s]viette "u my arm1 ?r\gh ! cold /reets ( ! old t[n1 = x 0 necess>y = me to pass /ill ano!r ye>1 z ,i _h n /udi$ h>d en\gh to submit to my exam9ation ) success4 ,i %\ld cont9ue to g & come among ^! d>k h\ses1 ) ?is horizon ( sn[y m\nta9s1 to see ! fa!r & "m ( ,emile sitt+ at _! w9d[ & play+ at c>ds1 ! old ,limasset read+ 8 pap] 9 ! corn] ( ! ,caf de ,p>is1 ! omnibuses ( ,royat at ! corn] ( ,j&e4 ,yes1 ,i come d[n to t1 my de> ma/]1 to ?is mis]y ( m9ds )\t psy*ology :i* atta* !mselves to ! ext]nal =m ( life )\t p5etrat+ its ess5ce4 ,i disreg>d$ my old fai? 9 ! sup]iority ( sci5ce1 to :i* only ?ree squ>e metres ( room are necess>y 9 ord] t a ,sp9oza or an ,adri5 ,sixte may !re possess ! imm5se univ]se4 ,ah6 ,i 0 v m$iocre 9 t p]iod ( p[]less desires & conqu]$ love6 ,i dete/$1 & ) :at inju/ice1 t life ( ab/ract /udy :i* ,i 0 ab\t to resume6 ,& h[ ,i wi% to-day t ?is might be my fate1 & t ,i might awake a poor /ud5t ne> ! ,faculty ( ,cl]mont1 t5ant ( ! fa!r ( ,emile1 pupil ( old ,limasset1 ! morose travel] ?r\gh ^? black /reets--b an innoc5t man6 an innoc5t man6 ,& n ! man :o has gone ?r\gh :at ,i h gone ?r\gh1 & :i* he f9ds x a necessity to tell4 ,,vi4 ,,?ird ,,crisis4 ,t[>d ! end ( ?is sev]e mon? ( ,septemb]1 ,luci5 compla9$ ( n be+ q well1 :i* ! doctor attribut$ at fir/ to a simple cold4 ,two days aft] ! symptoms became aggravat$4 ,two physicians ( ,cl]mont1 call$ 9 ha/e1 diagnos$ sc>let fev]1 b ( a mild "*4 ,if my m9d _h n be5 entirely absorb$ by ! fix$ idea :i* made ( me at ?is p]iod a v]itable monomaniac1 ,i %\ld h f\nd mat]ial en\gh to fill my notebook4 ,i _h only to foll[ ! evolutions ( ! m9d ( ! m>quis & ! /ruggle 9 8 he>t betwe5 hypo*ondria & pat]nal love4 ,sometimes1 9 spite ( ! reassur+ words ( ! doctors1 he became s uneasy ab\t 8 son t he pass$ ! night 9 wat*+ him4 ,sometimes he 0 seiz$ ) ! fe> ( contagion2 he w5t to b$1 compla9$ ( imag9>y pa9s1 & c\nt$ ! h\rs until ! visit ( ! physician4 ,sometimes1 s grave did 8 symptoms seem to himself1 t ! m>quis mu/ h ! fir/ visit4 ,!n he w\ld be a%am$ ( 8 panic4 ,he arose1 he *a/is$ himself = 8 t]rors ) bitt] phrases on ! feebl5ess :i* age br+s1 & return$ to ! b$side ( 8 son4 ,8 fir/ int5tion 0 to conceal f ! m>quise & ,*>lotte & ,&r ! illness ( ! *ild2 b aft] two weeks1 ^! alt]nations ( zeal & ( t]ror hav+ exhau/$ 8 en]gy1 he felt ! ne$ ( hav+ 8 wife ) him to su/a9 him1 & ! incoh]5ce ( 8 ideas 0 s great t he consult$ me3 8,d y n ?9k x is my duty80 ,!re are "s ly+ s\ls1 my de> ma/]1 :o excel 9 excus+ by f9e motives _! mo/ villa9\s actions4 ,if ,i 7 ( ?is numb] ,i c\ld make a m]it ( hav+ insi/$ t ! m>quis %\ld n recall 8 wife4 ,surely ,i knew ! full import ( my response & ( ! resolution t ,m4 de ,jussat 0 ab\t to take4 ,i knew t1 if he in=m$ ! m>quise1 %e w\ld arrive by ! fir/ tra91 & ,i also knew ,*>lotte well en\gh to be assur$ t %e w\ld come ) h] "m4 ,i %\ld see h] aga91 ,i %\ld h a supreme opportunity to reawak5 9 h] ! love ( :i* ,i _h surpris$ ! pro(4 ,i c\ld say t x 0 loyalty on my "p1 ! advice to leave ,mme4 de ,jussat 9 ,p>is4 ,i %\ld h ! appe>ance ( loyalty4 ,:y8 ,if ,i 7 n conv9c$ t !re is no effect )\t a cause & no loyalty )\t a secret egoism1 ,i %\ld recognize a horror 9 us+ to ! pr(it ( a culpable passion ! noble/ ( s5tim5ts1 t ( a si/] = a bro!r4 ,"h is ! nak$ tru?3 9 try+ to dissuade ,m4 de ,jussat1 ,i 0 conv9c$ t all ef=t to rega9 ! he>t ( ,*>lotte w\ld be useless4 ,i =esaw 9 ?is return only c]ta9 humiliation4 ,worn out by ^! long mon?s ( int]nal /ruggle1 ,i no long] felt ! /r5g? to maneuv]4 ,!re 0 !n no virtue 9 repres5t+ to ! m>quis ! inconv5i5ces1 ! dang]s ev51 ( ! /ay ( ^! two wom5 9 ! *teau1 ne> an invalid :o might communicate to !m 8 disease4 8,& h[ ab\t me80 respond$ he +5u\sly1 8am ,i n expos$ e day8 ,b y are "r = ,*>lotte2 ,i w write t ,i d n want h]40 8,ah6 ,greslon10 said he two days aft]1 on ! receipt ( a telegram1 8see :at !y d--read40 ,he h&$ me ! dispat* :i* ann\nc$ ! arrival ( ,mlle4 de ,jussat & h] "m4 8,naturally10 moan$ ! hypo*ondriac1 8%e want$ to come1 )\t ?9k+ t ,i %\ld be sp>$ su* emotions40 ,! m>quis spoke to me 9 ?is way at two o'clock 9 ! aft]noon4 ,i knew t ! tra9 left ,p>is at n9e o'clock 9 ! ev5+ & arriv$ at ,cl]mont t[>d five 9 ! morn+4 ,mme4 de ,jussat & ,*>lotte w\ld be at ! *teau be=e t5 o'clock4 ,i pass$ a fe>ful ev5+ & night1 depriv$ n[ ( t philosophic t5sion1 outside ( :i* ,i float1 a creature )\t en]gy1 ! sport ( n]v\s & irresi/ible impressions4 ,good s5se1 h[ev]1 indicat$ a v simple solution4 ,my engagem5t w\ld end ! #ae? ( ,octob]4 ,x 0 n[ ! #e?4 ,! *ild 0 convalesc5t4 ,he _h 8 "m & 8 si/] ) him4 ,i c\ld return home )\t any scruple & "u any pretext4 ,i c\ld d x & ,i mu/--= ! sake ( my dignity z well z = my repose4 ,9 ! morn+1 ,i _h tak5 ?is resolution & ,i 0 go+ to speak ab\t x to ! m>quis imm$iately2 he did n let me say a ^w1 he 0 s agitat$ by ! arrival ( 8 daught]3 8,v well10 said he1 8by & by1 ,i h no head = any?+ n[4 ,?is willfulness6 ,t is :y ,i h gr[n old s fa/4 ,always new %ocks60 ,:o kn[s8 my de/9y may h entirely dep5d$ on ! humor by :i* ?is old fool refus$ to he> me4 ,if ,i _h spok5 to him at t mom5t1 & if we _h fix$ my dep>ture1 ,i %\ld h be5 oblig$ to h gone2 in/ead1 ! sole pres5ce ( ,*>lotte *ang$ ! project ( go+ into a project ( rema9+1 z a lamp c>ri$ into a room imm$iately *anges ?is d>kness into light4 ,i repeat x1 ,i 0 conv9c$ t %e _h absolutely ceas$ to be int]e/$ 9 me on ! "o h&1 &1 on ! o!r1 t ,i 0 pass+ ?r\gh a crisis1 n ( g5u9e love1 b ( w\nd$ vanity1 & ( morbid brood+4 ,ah1 well6 ,to see h] desc5d f ! c>riage be=e ! p]ron1 to see t my pres5ce ov]came h]1 z h]s affect$ me1 ,i und]/ood two ?+s3 fir/1 t x w\ld be physically impossible = me to leave ! *teau :ile %e %\ld be !re2 !n t %e _h pass$ ?r\gh tr\ble simil> to m9e1 if n worse4 ,%e mu/ h fl$ f me ) ! mo/ s9c]e c\rage1 n to h repli$ to my lett]s1 n to h read !m1 to h become betro!d 9 ord] to place an insurm\ntable b>ri] betwe5 u1 to h believ$ ev5 t %e no long] lov$ me1 & to h return$ to ! *teau ) ?is p]suasion4 ,%e lov$ me6 ,i _h no ne$ ( a detail$ analysis l ^? 9 :i* ,i 0 too complaisant & 9 :i* ,i 0 s mu* deceiv$1 to recognize ?is fact4 ,x 0 an intuition1 sudd51 unreason+1 inv9cible1 "o to make me believe t ! !ories on ! d\ble life1 s mu* discuss$ by ,sci5ce1 are absolutely true4 ,i read x1 ?is unhop$ = love1 9 ! tr\bl$ eyes ( ?is *ild1 z y\r read ! words by :i* ,i am try+ to reproduce "h ! lightn+ & ! ?und]bolt ( ?is evid5ce4 ,%e 0 be=e me 9 h] travel+ co/ume1 & :ite1 :ite z ?is %eet ( pap]4 ,i %\ld h expla9$ ?is pallor by ! fatigue ( ! night pass$ 9 ! c>riage1 & by h] uneas9ess at h] bro!r's illness4 ,h] eyes1 9 meet+ m9e1 trembl$ ) emotion4 ,t might be (f5d$ mode/y8 ,%e _h fall5 away1 & :5 %e took (f h] cloak ,i saw t h] dress1 a dress :i* ,i recogniz$1 0 wr9kl$ ar\nd ! %\ld]s4 ,ah6 ,i1 :o _h believ$ s /rongly 9 ! me?od1 ! inductions1 & ! complications ( reason+1 h[ ,i felt ! omnipot5ce ( in/9ct aga9/ :i* no?+ c\ld provide4 ,%e _h lov$ me all ! "t4 ,%e lov$ me m ?an ev]4 ,:at matt] t %e _h n giv5 me h] h& at our fir/ meet+2 t %e _h sc>cely spok5 to me 9 ! ve/ibule2 t %e w5t up ! gr& /aircase ) h] "m )\t turn+ h] head8 ,%e lov$ me4 ,?is c]ta9ty1 aft] s long a p]iod ( d\bt & anxiety1 inundat$ my he>t ) a flood ( joy1 s t ,i 0 almo/ ov]come1 !re1 on ! c>pet ( ! /aircase :i* ,i mu/ also climb to g to my room4 ,:at 0 ,i to d8 ,) my elb[s on ! table & press+ my h&s aga9/ my =ehead to repress ! ?robb+ ( my temples ,i put ?is "q )\t f9d+ any o!r answ] ?an t ,i c\ld n g away2 t abs5ce & sil5ce c\ld n end all betwe5 ,*>lotte & myself2 f9ally t we 7 approa*+ an h\r 9 :i* s _m reciprocal ef=ts1 hidd5 /ruggles1 combat$ desires on ! "p ( bo?1 0 precipitat+ u t[>d a supreme sc5e1 & ?is1 ,i c\ld feel 0 ne>1 tragic1 decisive1 inevitable4 ,at fir/ ,*>lotte 0 con/ra9$ to submit to my pres5ce4 ,we mu/ meet at ! b$side ( h] bro!r1 & ! v morn+ ( h] arrival1 :5 x 0 my turn to keep ! invalid company1 t[>d elev5 o'clock1 ,i f\nd h] !re talk+ ) him1 :ile ! m>quise que/ion$ ,si/] ,anaclet1 bo? speak+ 9 l[ tones & /&+ ne> ! w9d[4 ,luci51 f :om ! com+ ( 8 "m & si/] _h be5 conceal$1 %[$ 9 8 face & 9 8 ge/ures ! excit$ & almo/ fev]i% joy :i* is se5 9 convalesc5ts2 he salut$ me ) 8 gaye/ smile1 & tak+ my h& said to 8 si/]3 8,if y only knew h[ good ,m4 ,greslon has be5 to me all ^! days60 ,%e did n reply1 b ,i saw t h] h&1 :i* lay on ! pill[ ne> h] bro!r's *eek1 %ook z ) a *ill4 ,%e made an ef=t to look at me )\t betray+ h]self4 ,)\t d\bt my face express$ an emotion t t\*$ h]4 ,%e felt t to leave unnotic$ ! innoc5t rem>k ( h] bro!r w\ld make me feel badly1 &1 9 ! voice ( pa/ days1 h] sweet & liv+ voice1 %e said1 )\t address+ me directly3 8,yes1 ,i "k x & ,i ?ank him = x4 ,we all ?ank him v mu*40 ,%e did n add ano!r ^w4 ,i am sure t if ,i _h tak5 h] h& at t mom5t %e w\ld h fa9t$ be=e me1 %e 0 s mov$ by ?is simple conv]sation4 ,i /amm]$ a vague response3 8,x is q natural10 or some?+ simil>4 ,i 0 n v collect$ myself4 ,luci51 h[ev]1 :o _h notic$ nei!r ! alt]$ tone ( 8 si/]1 nor my emb>rassm5t1 cont9u$3 8,& isn't ,&r com+ to see me80 8,y "k he has gone back to 8 regim5t10 said %e4 8,& ,maxime80 insi/$ ! *ild4 ,i knew t ?is 0 ! "n ( ! fianc ( ,mlle4 de ,jussat4 ,^! two syllables _h no soon] left ! lips ( h] bro!r ?an ! pal5ess ( h] face gave way to a sudd5 wave ( blood4 ,!re 0 an int]val ( sil5ce dur+ :i* ,i c\ld he> ! murmur+ ( ,si/] ,anaclet1 ! crackl+ ( ! fire 9 ! *imney1 ! sw++ ( ! p5dulum1 & ! *ild himself a/oni%$ at ?is sil5ce4 8,yes1 ,maxime1 is n he com+ ei!r80 8,m4 de ,plane has also gone back to 8 regim5t10 said ,*>lotte4 8,are y go+ away already1 ,m4 ,greslon80 ask$ ,luci5 z ,i rose brusquely4 8,i am com+ back10 ,i repli$2 8,i h =gott5 a lett] on my table40 ,& ,i w5t out1 leav+ ,luci5 ) a smile on 8 face1 & ,*>lotte ) h] eyes ca/ d[n4 ,ah6 my de> ma/]1 y mu/ believe :at ,i am tell+ y2 9 spite ( ! incoh]5cies ( a he>t almo/ un9telligible to itself1 y mu/ n d\bt my s9c]ity 9 t mom5t4 ,i h s great ne$ n to d\bt x myself2 ne$ to say to myself t ,i 0 n ly+ !n4 ,!re 0 n an atom ( volunt>y com$y 9 ! sudd5 movem5t by :i* ,i rose at ! simple m5tion ( ! "n ( ! man to :om ,*>lotte ought to belong1 to :om %e did belong4 ,!re 0 no com$y 9 ! te>s :i* bur/ f my eyes1 z soon z ,i pass$ ! ?re%old ( ! door1 nor 9 ^? :i* ,i wept dur+ ! night :i* foll[$1 9 despair at ?is d\ble & frightful c]ta9ty t we lov$ "o ano!r1 & t nev]1 nev]1 c\ld we be any?+ "o to ! o!r2 no com$y 9 ! />ts ( pa9 :i* h] pres5ce inflict$ on me dur+ ! days :i* foll[$4 ,h] pale face1 h] emaciat$ pr(ile1 h] suff]+ eyes 7 !re to di/urb me1 & ?is pallor r5t my s\l1 & ?is sp>e outl9e ( h] body made me love h] m1 & ^? eyes bes\ght me4 8,d n speak4 ,i "k t y are unhappy too4 ,x w\ld be cruel to reproa* me1 to compla91 to %[ y\r hurt40 ,tell me1 if ,i _h n be5 s9c]e 9 ^? days1 w\ld ,i h let !m pass )\t act+1 :5 _! h\rs 7 c\nt$8 ,b ,i d n recall a s+le reflection1 a s+le comb9ation4 ,i d recall confus+ s5sations1 some?+ burn+1 frantic1 intol]able1 a pro/rat+ neuralgia ( my inmo/ be+1 a lanc9ation cont9u\s1 & gr[+1 gr[+ always1 ! dream ( putt+ an end to x1 a project ( suicide4 ,y see t ,i truly lov$1 s9ce all my subtleties 7 melt$ 9 ! flame ( ?is passion1 z lead 9 a furnace2 s9ce ,i did n f9d mat]ial = analysis 9 :at 0 a real ali5ation1 an abdication ( my old self 9 ?is m>tyrdom4 ,?is ?\ght ( dea? came f ! inmo/ dep?s ( my be+1 ?is obscure appetite = ! grave ( :i* ,i 0 possess$ z ( physical ?ir/ & hung]1 9 :i*1 my de> ma/]1 y w recognize a necess>y consequ5ce ( ?is disease ( love1 s admirably /udi$ by y4 ,?is in/9ct ( de/ruction1 ( :i* y po9t out ! my/]i\s awak+ at ! same "t z t ( sex1 0 turn$ aga9/ myself4 ,?is 0 %[n fir/ by an inf9ite lassitude1 ! lassitude ( feel+ mu* b nev] express+ any?+4 ,= ! angui% 9 ,*>lotte's eyes1 :5 !y met m9e1 def5d$ h] bett] ?an all words c\ld h done4 ,beside1 we 7 nev] alone1 except sometimes = a few m9utes 9 ! salon1 by *ance1 & ^! m9utes pass$ 9 a sil5ce :i* we c\ld n break4 ,to speak at su* times is z impossible z = a p>alytic to move 8 feet4 ,a sup]human ef=t w\ld n suffice4 ,"o exp]i5ces h[ emotion1 to a c]ta9 degree ( int5sity1 becomes incommunicable4 ,"o feels himself imprison$1 wall$ up 9 8 self1 & he w\ld l to get away f ?is unhappy self1 to plunge1 to lose himself 9 ! coldness ( dea? is :]e all end$4 ,t cont9u$ ) a k9d ( deliri\s desire to make on ! he>t ( ,*>lotte an impr9t :i* c\ld n be effac$1 ) an insane desire to give h] "s pro( ( love1 aga9/ :i* nei!r ! t5d]ness ( h] future husb& nor ! magnific5ce ( h] social surr\nd+s1 c\ld ev] prevail4 8,if ,i die ( despair at be+ sep>at$ f h] =ev]1 %e mu/ rememb] ! simple preceptor1 ! poor prov9cial1 capable ( s5tim5ts s p[]ful60 ,x seems to me t ,i =mulat$ ^! reflections4 ,y notice t ,i say3 8,x seems to me40 ,= 9 tru?1 ,i did n compreh5d myself at t p]iod4 ,i did n recognize myself 9 ! fev] ( viol5ce & ( trag$y by :i* ,i 0 consum$4 ,sc>cely d ,i disc]n 9 ?is ungov]nable come-&-g ( my ?\ghts a k9d ( auto-sugge/ion1 z y say4 ,i 0 hypnotiz$1 & x 0 z a somnambuli/ t ,i det]m9$ to kill myself at su* a day1 at su* an h\r1 z ,i 0 go+ to ! druggi/ to procure ! fatal bottle ( nux vomica4 ,dur+ all ^! prep>ations & "u ! influ5ce ( ?is resolution1 ,i hop$ = no?+1 ,i calculat$ no?+4 ,a =ce entirely =eign to my own consci\sness 0 act+ on me4 ,at no "t 0 ,i ! spectator ( my ge/ures1 my ?\ghts & my actions1 ) an ext]ior ( ! act+ 8,i0 9 relation to ! ?9k+ 8,i40 ,b ,i h writt5 a note ^u ?is po9t1 :i* y w f9d on ! fly leaf1 9 my exemplaire ( ! book ( ,brire de ,boismont on suicide4 ,i exp]i5c$ 9 ^! prep>ations an indef9able s5sation ( a wak+ dream1 ( lucid automatism4 ,i attribute ^! /range ph5om5a to a n]v\s disord]1 almo/ a madness1 caus$ by ! ravages ( a fix$ idea4 ,x 0 only on ! morn+ ( ! day *os5 = ! execution ( my project t ,i ?\ght ( mak+ a la/ attempt to w9 ,*>lotte4 ,i sat d[n at my table to write h] a lett] ( f>ewell4 ,i saw h] read+ ?is lett]1 & ?is "q sudd5ly pres5t$ itself to me3 8,:at w\ld %e d80 ,0 x possible t %e might n be mov$ by ?is ann\ncem5t ( my int5d$ suicide8 ,w\ld %e ha/5 to prev5t x8 ,yes1 %e w\ld run to my room & f9d me dead4 ,at lea/1 %\ld ,i n wait = ! effect ( ?is la/ pro(8 ,"h ,i am v sure t ,i saw myself cle>ly4 ,i "k t hope 0 born 9 me exactly 9 ?is way & precisely at ?is po9t ( my project4 8,ah1 well60 said ,i1 8,i w try40 ,i resolv$ t if1 at midnight1 %e _h n come1 ,i w\ld dr9k ! poison4 ,i _h /udi$ ! effects ( x1 & hop$ ,i %\ld n suff] v long4 ,x is /range t all t day 0 pass$ 9 a s+ul> s]5ity4 ,i 0 z if reliev$ ( a weight1 z if really deta*$ f myself1 & my anxiety comm5c$ only t[>d t5 o'clock1 :51 hav+ retir$ fir/1 ,i _h plac$ ! lett] on ! table 9 ! room ( ! "y girl4 ,at half-pa/ t5 ,i he>d ?r\gh my p>tly-op5 door ! m>quis1 ! m>quise & ,*>lotte asc5d+ ! /airs4 ,!y /opp$ to talk a few m9utes 9 ! passage1 !n !re 7 ! cu/om>y good-nights1 & ea* ent]$ a sep>ate *amb]4 ,elev5 o'clock--a qu>t]-pa/ elev54 ,/ill no?+4 ,i look$ at my wat*1 plac$ 9 front ( me1 ne> ?ree lett]s prep>$ = ,m4 de ,jussat1 = my "m1 & = y1 my de> ma/]4 ,my he>t beat z if x w\ld bur/2 b ,i wi% y to note t my w 0 firm & cool4 ,i _h told ,mlle4 de ,jussat t %e w\ld n see me ! next day4 ,i 0 sure ( n fail+ my ^w if--,i did n d>e to /r5g!n :at hope ?is 8if0 conta9$4 ,i wat*$ ! second-h& g r\nd & ,i made a me*anical calculation1 an exact multiplication3 8at sixty seconds a m9ute1 ,i %all see ! h& g r\nd s _m times1 = at midnight ,i %all kill myself40 ,a noise ( furtive & light /eps on ! /airs1 :i* ,i p]ceiv$ ) supreme emotion1 int]rupt$ my calculation4 ,^! /eps approa*$4 ,!y /opp$ be=e my door4 ,sudd5ly ! door 0 op5$4 ,*>lotte 0 be=e me4 ,i arose4 ,we re/$ ?us face to face1 bo? /&+4 ,h] face 0 di/ort$ by ! %ock ( h] own action1 v pale1 & h] eyes %one ) an extraord9>y brilliancy1 ne>ly black1 s dilat$ 0 ! pupil by emotion1 almo/ cov]+ ! iris4 ,i notic$ ?is detail because x trans=m$ h] physiognomy4 ,ord9>ily s res]v$1 h] face betray$ ! wildness ( a be+ rul$ by a passion /rong] ?an h] w4 ,%e mu/ h la9 d[n1 !n arose aga91 = h] hair 0 braid$ 9 a l>ge plait in/ead ( be+ knott$ on h] head4 ,a :ite robe-de-*ambre1 fa/5$ by a cord & tassel 0 fold$ ar\nd h] =m1 & 9 h] ha/e %e _h slipp$ h] b>e feet into h] slipp]s )\t ?9k+4 ,evid5tly an insupportable angui% _h precipitat$ h] f h] *amb] into my room4 ,%e did n c>e :at ,i might ?9k ( h] nor :at ,i might be tempt$ to say4 ,%e _h read my lett]1 & %e came1 a prey to an excitem5t s int5se t %e did n tremble4 8,ah60 said %e 9 a brok5 voice aft] ! sil5ce ( ! fir/ m9ute4 8,god be prais$1 ,i am n too late4 ,dead6 ,i believ$ y 7 dead6 ,ah6 t is horrible6 ,b t is all ov]1 is x n8 ,say t y w obey me1 say t y w n kill y\rself4 ,ah6 swe>1 swe> x to me40 ,%e took my h& 9 h]s ) a supplicat+ ge/ure4 ,h] f+]s 7 l ice4 ,!re 0 some?+ s decisive 9 ?is entrance1 su* a pro( ( love 9 a mom5t 9 :i* ,i 0 s excit$ t ,i did n reflect1 &1 )\t reply+ to h]1 ,i took h] 9 my arms1 weep+1 my lips s\ght h] lips1 & ?r\gh ! mo/ scald+ te>s ,i gave h] ! mo/ lov+1 ! mo/ s9c]e kisses2 t 0 a mom5t ( inf9ite ec/asy1 ( supreme felicity1 & z %e drew away f me1 ) ! %ame at :at %e _h p]mitt$ depict$ on h] face1 always wild4 8,wret*$ creature t ,i am60 said %e1 8,ah6 ,i mu/ g away6 ,let me g away6 ,d n come ne> me40 8,y see t ,i mu/ die10 ,i respond$1 8= y d n love me1 y are go+ to be ! wife ( ano!r1 we %all be sep>at$1 & =ev]40 ,i took ! d>k vial f ! table & %[$ x to h] by ! light ( ! lamp4 8,only a f\r? ( ?is flask10 ,i cont9u$1 & x is ! rem$y = mu* suff]+4 8,9 five m9utes x w be end$10 & g5tly & )\t mak+ a s+le ge/ure t w\ld =ce h] to def5d h]self3 8,g away n[1 & ,i ?ank y = hav+ come4 ,be=e a qu>t] ( an h\r ,i %all h ceas$ to feel :at ,i am feel+ n[1 ?is intol]able privation ( y = s _m mon?s4 ,come1 adieu1 d n take away my c\rage40 ,%e _h trembl$ :5 ! flame _h light$ up ! black liquid4 ,%e ext5d$ h] h& & snat*$ ! flask away1 say+3 8,no6 ,no60 ,%e look$ at x1 read ! inscription on ! r$ label & trembl$4 ,h] c\nt5ance became /ill m *ang$4 ,a wr9kle holl[$ itself betwe5 h] eyebr[s4 ,h] lips trembl$4 ,h] eyes express$ ! agony ( a la/ anxiety1 !n1 9 a voice almo/ h>%1 j]k+ h] words z if !y 7 drawn f h] by a tortur+ & irresi/ible p[]4 8,i1 too10 said %e1 8,i h suff]$ mu*1 ,i h /ruggl$ h>d4 ,no10 %e cont9u$1 advanc+ t[>d me & tak+ me by ! arm1 8y mu/ n g alone1 n alone4 ,we w die toge!r4 ,aft] :at ,i h done1 x is all t is left40 ,%e put ! vial to h] lips1 b ,i took x away f h]1 & ) a smile almo/ insane %e cont9u$3 8,to die1 yes1 to die "h1 ne> y1 ) y10 & %e approa*$ aga91 lay+ h] head on my %\ld]1 s t ,i felt h] s(t hair aga9/ my *eek4 8,s6 ,ah6 x is a long "t t ,i h lov$ y1 s long ,i c tell y ! tru? n[1 s9ce ,i %all pay = x ) my life4 ,y w take me ) y1 we w g away toge!r1 bo? ( u40 8,yes6 yes10 ,i answ]$1 8we w die toge!r4 ,i swe> x to y4 ,b n imm$iately4 ,ah6 leave me "t to feel t y love me40 ,our lips 7 aga9 unit$1 b ?is "t %e return$ my kisses4 ,ah6 ,^? 7 kisses 9 :i* ! ec/asy ( ! s5ses & ( ! s\l 7 delici\sly conf\nd$1 9 :i* ! pa/1 ! pres5t1 ! future 7 aboli%$ to give place to love alone1 to ! pa9ful1 ! intoxicat+ madness ( love4 ,?is frail body1 ?is liv+ /atuette ( ,tanagra 0 m9e 9 its grace & innoc5ce1 & x seem$ to me t ?is h\r 0 n real1 x s f> surpass$ my hopes1 almo/ my desire4 ,9 ! s(t5$ light ( ! lamp & ( ! half-ext+ui%$ fire1 ! delicacy ( h] features1 h] consummate pallor1 h] disord]$ hair1 made h] seem an app>ition1 & x 0 ) a phantom's voice1 a voice beyond life1 t %e spoke to me1 relat+ ! long hi/ory ( h] s5tim5ts = me4 ,%e said t %e _h lov$ at ! fir/ look & )\t suspect+ x2 !n h[ %e _h suff]$ at my sadness & at my confid5ce2 h[ %e _h dream$ ( be+ my fri5d1 a fri5d :o w\ld g5tly console me2 !n ! fe>ful light :i* my decl>ation 9 ! =e/ _h sudd5ly ?r[n ^u h] he>t1 & t %e _h sworn to put an abyss betwe5 u4 ,%e rec\nt$ h] /ruggles :5 %e receiv$ my lett]s1 & h] va9 resolutions n to read !m1 & ! folly ( h] engagem5t 9 ord] t all might be irrem$iable1 & h] return1 & ! re/4 ,%e f\nd1 to reveal to me ! secret & cruel romance ( h] t5d]ness1 phrases mode/ & impassion$1 :i* fell f ! my/]i\s brim ( ! s\l z te>s fall f ! brim ( ! eyes4 ,%e said3 8,i c\ld n if ,i wi%$ efface ^! griefs1 s mu* d ,i ne$ to feel t ,i h liv$ = y40 ,%e said3 8,y w let me die fir/1 t ,i may n see y suff]40 ,& %e wrapp$ me 9 h] hair1 & ^u h] face :i* ,i _h kn[n s controll$ 0 a k9d ( ec/asy ( m>tyrdom1 a sup]natural joy m+l$ ) a pr(\nd grief1 an exaltation m+l$ ) remorse4 ,:5 %e 0 sil5t1 clasp$ 9 my arms1 absorb$ 9 me1 we c\ld he> ! w9d :i* moan$ outside ! clos$ w9d[s1 & ?is sleep+ *teau1 9 its peaceful sil5ce1 0 already ! tomb1 ! tomb t[>d :i* we 7 go+1 drawn out ( life by ! ardor ( love :i* _h ?us ?r[n u he>t to he>t4 ,x is "h1 my de> ma/]1 :]e comes ! mo/ s+ul> episode ( ?is adv5ture1 ! "o :i* m5 w call ! mo/ %ameful2 b = y & me ^! words h no mean+1 & ,i w h ! c\rage to tell y all4 ,i _h be5 s9c]e1 & s9c]e )\t ! %ad[ ( calculation1 9 ! resolution ( suicide :i* caus$ me to buy ! nux vomica1 & !n to write to ,*>lotte4 ,:5 %e _h come1 :5 %e _h fall5 into my arms & cri$3 8,let u die toge!r60 ,i respond$3 8,let u die toge!r10 ) ! mo/ p]fect good fai?4 ,x _h appe>$ s simple1 s natural1 s easy = u to g away toge!r4 ,y1 :o h writt5 "s /rong pages ^u ! vapor ( illusion creat$ 9 u by physical causes1 :i* is l t intoxication produc$ by w9e1 y w n judge me a mon/] = hav+ felt ?is vapor dissipate1 ?is intoxication disappe> ) possession4 ,*>lotte _h plac$ h] head on my brea/ & %e fell asleep1 exhau/$ by ! excess ( h] emotions4 ,i look$ at h] & ,i felt1 )\t kn[+ h[1 t ,i fell back f my /ate be=e ?is happ9ess1 to ! reflective1 philosophic1 & lucid "o :i* _h be5 m9e1 & :i* a sorc]y _h metamorphos$ into ano!r4 ,i look$ at ,*>lotte1 & ?\ght t 9 a few h\rs ?is adorable body1 animat$ at ?is mom5t by all ! ardors ( life1 w\ld be immovable1 cold1 dead--dead ?is m\? :i* trembl$ /ill ) my kiss1 dead ^! beautiful eyes %ad$ "u _! trembl+ lids1 dead ?is m9d fill$ ) me1 intoxicat$ ( me6 ,i repeat$ m5tally sev]al times ?is ^w3 8,dead1 dead1 dead10 & :at x repres5ts ( a sudd5 fall+ into ! night1 ( an irrep>able fall into ! d>kness1 ! cold1 ! empt9ess1 oppress$ my he>t4 ,?is entrance into ! gulf )\t bottom ( annihilation :i* _h seem$1 n only easy1 b pr(\ndly desirable :5 ! fury ( un=tunate love dom9at$ me--sudd5ly1 & ?is fury once appeas$1 appe>$ to me ! mo/ =midable ( actions1 ! mo/ fooli%1 ! mo/ impossible ( execution4 ,*>lotte cont9u$ to keep h] eyes clos$4 ,! emaciation ( h] poor face1 r5d]$ m p]ceptible by ! way 9 :i* ! s(t5$ light reveal$ h] features1 told too pla9ly :at %e _h felt = days4 ,& ,i 0 go+ to kill h]1 or at lea/1 to assi/ h] to de/roy h]self4 ,we 7 ab\t to kill ourselves4 ,a %udd] ran ?r\gh me at ! ?\ght1 & ,i 0 afraid4 ,= h]8 ,= myself8 ,= bo?8 ,i d n "k4 ,i 0 afraid1 afraid ( feel+ to gr[ numb 9 my mo/ secret be+1 ! s\l ( my s\l1 ! indef9able c5t] ( all our en]gy4 ,& sudd5ly by a sudd5 fac+ ab\t ( ideas l to t ( ! dy+ :o ?r[ a la/ look ^u _! exi/5ce1 & :o p]ceive1 9 ! mirage ( a secret regret1 ! joys kn[n or covet$1 ! vision 0 evok$ ( t life1 all ?\ght ( :i* ,i _h turn by turn desir$ & abjur$4 ,i saw y 9 y\r little cell1 my de> ma/]1 9 m$itation1 & ! univ]se ( intellig5ce develop$ be=e me ! spl5dor ( its horizons4 ,my p]sonal works1 ?is bra9 ( :i* ,i _h be5 s pr\d1 ?is ,self cultivat$ s complaisantly1 ,i 0 ab\t to sacrifice all ^! treasures4 8,to y\r pl$g$ ^w10 ought ,i to h respond$8 8,to a caprice ( excitem5t10 ,i did respond4 ,/rictly1 ?is suicide _h a signification1 :5 to be =ev] sep>at$ f ,*>lotte fill$ me ) despair4 ,b n[8 ,we love ea* o!r1 we belong to ea* o!r4 ,:o c prev5t u1 "y & free1 f flee+ toge!r1 if on ! next day we _c endure sep>ation8 ,?is hypo!sis ( an elopem5t br\ght be=e my m9d ! image ( ,c\nt ,&r4 ,:y n make a note ( ?is also8 ,an exhil>at+ titillation ( self-love ran ?r\gh my he>t at ?is s\v5ir4 ,i look$ at ,*>lotte aga91 & ,i felt fill$ ) ! mo/ f]oci\s pride4 ,! rivalry in/itut$ by my secret envy betwe5 h] bro!r & myself awoke aga9 9 a />t ( triumph4 ,!re is a celebrat$ prov]b :i* says t all animals are sad aft] pleasure3 8,omne animal40 ,x 0 n sadness t ,i felt !n1 b an absolute dry+ up ( my t5d]ness1 a rapid return--rapid z ! action ( a *emical precipitation--to a /ate ( m9d ant]ior4 ,i d n believe t ?is displacem5t ( s5sibility c\ld h tak5 m ?an half an h\r4 ,i cont9u$ to reg>d ,*>lotte1 :ile ab&on+ myself to ^! passage ( ideas1 ) ! delight ( a reconqu]$ lib]ty4 ,! fullness ( ! volunt>y & reflective life fl[$ 9 me n[1 z ! wat] ( a riv] ^: dam has be5 rais$4 ,! passion = ?is abs5t *ild _h rais$ up a b>ri] aga9/ :i* ! flood ( my old s5tim5t 0 damm$ up4 ,?is b>ri] ?r[n d[n1 ,i became myself aga94 ,%e 0 sleep+4 ,i he>d h] light1 equal brea?1 !n sudd5ly a great sob1 & %e awoke3 8,ah60 said %e1 press+ me to h] 9 a convulsive fa%ion1 8y are "h1 y are "h4 ,i _h lo/ consci\sness4 ,i dream$4 ,ah6 :at a dream6 ,i saw my bro!r come t[>d y4 ,oh6 ! horrible dream60 ,%e kiss$ me aga91 &1 z h] m\? 0 press$ to m9e1 ! clock /ruck4 ,%e li/5$ & c\nt$ ! /rokes4 8,f\r o'clock10 said %e1 8x is "t--f>ewell1 my love1 f>ewell40 ,%e embrac$ me aga94 ,h] face _h become calm 9 h] exaltation1 almo/ smil+4 8,give me ! poison10 said %e 9 a firm voice4 ,i rema9$ immovable )\t answ]+4 8,y are afraid = me10 %e resum$2 8,i %all "k h[ to die4 ,give x to me40 ,i rose1 /ill )\t reply+4 ,%e sat up & clasp$ h] h&s )\t look+ at me4 ,0 %e pray+8 ,0 ?is ! la/ ef=t ( ?is s\l to extract ! love ( life :i* pu%es its roots s deeply 9 a creature ( tw5ty ye>s8 ,my resolution to prev5t ?is d\ble suicide 0 n[ absolute4 ,i _h ! coolness to seize ! br[n vial f ! table & c>ry x to a w>drobe & lock x4 ,^! prep>ations ( :i* %e took no notice no d\bt seem$ long to ,*>lotte1 = %e turn$ t[>d me3 8,i am ready10 said %e4 ,%e saw my empty h&s4 ,! ec/atic expression *ang$ to "o ( extreme angui%1 & h] voice grew h>% z %e said3 8,! poison6 ,give me ! poison60 ,!n z if respond+ to a ?\ght :i* sudd5ly came to h] m9d1 %e add$ fev]i%ly3 8,no1 x is n possible40 8,no10 cri$ ,i1 fall+ on my knees be=e h]1 & seiz+ h] h&s4 8,no1 y are "r1 x is n possible4 ,i _c let y die be=e me1 = ,i %\ld be y\r assass94 ,i pray y1 ,*>lotte1 d n ask me to realize ?is fatal project4 ,:5 ,i b\ght ! poison ,i 0 mad1 ,i ?\ght t y did n love me4 ,i wi%$ to kill myself4 ,oh6 h[ s9c]ely6 ,b n[ t y d love me1 t ,i "k x1 t y h giv5 y\rself to me1 no ,i _c1 ,i w n4 ,let u live1 my love1 let u live1 cons5t to live4 ,we w g away toge!r1 if y w4 ,& if y w n1 if y rep5t ( ?is confession ( y\r reg>d1 well6 ,i w suff] ! m>tyrdom2 b1 ,i swe> to y1 ?is %all be z if x _h nev] be5--,i w n tr\ble y\r life4 ,b to help y to die1 to kill y\rself1 y s "y1 s fair1 oh no1 no1 d n ask me to d x40 ,h[ _m times ,i spoke ?us to h]1 ,i d n "k4 ,i saw on h] face a sweet emotion1 a woman's feebl5ess1 ! 8yes0 ( ! look :i* gives ! lie to ! 8no0 ( ! m\?4 ,%e 0 sil5t1 !n %e fix$ h] eyes on me1 & n[ !y 7 bright ) a tragic fire4 ,%e _h )drawn h] h&s f m9e1 cross$ h] arms ^u h] brea/1 & ) h] hair fall+ all ar\nd h]1 z if )drawn f me by an inv9cible horror1 %e said1 :5 ,i _h ceas$ to supplicate h]3 8,s y w n keep y\r ^w80 8,no10 ,i /amm]$1 8,i _c4 ,i _c4 ,i did n "k :at ,i said40 8,ah60 said %e ) a cruel disda9 on h] beautiful lips1 8b tell me !n t y are afraid6 ,give me ! poison4 ,i w give y back y\r ^w4 ,i w die alone4 ,b to h drawn me ?us into ! sn>e1 y c[>d6 c[>d6 c[>d60 ,:y did ,i n spr+ up "u ?is outrage1 :y did ,i n take ! bottle ( poison1 :y did ,i n put x to my lips !re be=e h] & say3 8,see if ,i am a c[>d80 ,i d n und]/& :y ,i did n :5 ,i ?9k ( x1 :5 ,i rememb] ! implacable contempt pr9t$ on h] face4 ,x mu/ be t ,i 0 afraid1 ,i :o w\ld n[ g to ! scaffold )\t trembl+1 ,i :o h _h ! c\rage to be sil5t = ?ree mon?s1 ?us risk+ my life4 ,b n[ an idea su/a9s me1 coldly1 intellectually conceiv$ :ile dur+ t frightful sc5e !re 0 a confusion ( all ! =ces ( my m9d1 betwe5 my sur*>g$ s5sations ( ! la/ mon?s & ^? ( ! pres5t h\r1 &1 sitt+ d[n on ! c>pet1 z if ,i _h no long] en]gy en\gh to hold myself up1 ,i %ook my head1 & said3 8,no1 no40 ,?is "t x 0 %e :o did n respond4 ,i saw h] mass h] beautiful hair & twi/ x into a knot2 put h] feet into h] slipp]s1 & wrap h] :ite robe ar\nd h]4 ,%e s\ght ) h] eyes = ! d>k flask ) ! r$ label1 &1 see+ x no long] on ! table1 %e walk$ t[>d ! door1 !n1 )\t ev5 turn+ h] head1 %e disappe>$ aft] d>t+ at me ! t]rible ^w3 8,c[>d6 c[>d60 ,i rema9$ !re a long "t4 ,sudd5ly a frightful uneas9ess seiz$ my he>t4 ,if ,*>lotte1 exasp]at$ z %e 01 %\ld attempt h] life6 ,a prey to ! t]rors ( ?is new angui%1 ,i d>$ to cross ! corridors & g d[n ! /airs to h] room1 & !n1 putt+ my e> aga9/ ! door1 ,i he>d a noise1 a moan+1 a sign ( :at drama 0 be+ act$ beh9d ?is ?9 ramp>t ( wood :i* ,i c\ld h bur/ op5 ) my %\ld] quickly en\gh to br+ help4 ,! fir/ noises ( ! *teau 7 ris+ f ! basem5t4 ,! s]vants 7 gett+ up4 ,i mu/ g back to my room4 ,at six o'clock ,i 0 9 ! g>d5 "u ! "y girl's w9d[4 ,my imag9ation _h %[n me ,*>lotte1 ?r[+ h]self f ! w9d[1 & ly+ dead on ! gr\nd ) h] limbs brok54 ,i saw h] %utt]s clos$1 & bel[1 ! plat-b& 9 ord] ) its l9e ( rose bu%es on :i* bloom$ ! la/ roses ( ! autumn4 ,%e _h told me1 ?is night1 ( ! *>m :i* %e ta/$1 9 h] h\rs ( di/ress1 :5 %e lov$ me 9 sil5ce1 9 lean+ above ?is b$ ( roses & inhal+ ! aroma ( ^! sweet fl[]s1 spread on ! breeze4 ,i pick$ "o1 & its p]fume almo/ made me fa9t4 ,to deceive an anxiety :i* ea* mom5t made m int5se1 ,i walk$ /raight on1 into ! c\ntry ba!d 9 vapor1 9 ?is gray morn+ ( ,novemb]4 ,i w5t v f>1 s9ce ,i pass$ ! village ( ,saulzet-le-,froid1 & yet1 at eight o'clock1 ,i 0 back tak+ my breakfa/1 or seem+ to d s1 9 ! d9+-room ( ! *teau4 ,?is 0 ! "t1 ,i knew1 = ! maid to g into ,mlle4 de ,jussat's room4 ,if any?+ _h happ5$ ?is girl w\ld call out imm$iately4 ,) :at inexpressible com=t ,i saw h] come d[n & g t[>d ! kit*5 ) ! salv] prep>$ = ! tea6 ,*>lotte _h n tak5 h] life4 ,hope return$ to me !n4 ,^u reflection1 & h] fir/ feel+ ( ang] pass$1 p]haps %e w\ld int]pret z a pro( ( love my refusal to die & to let h] die4 ,i %\ld "k t also4 ,x w\ld be suffici5t to wait = h] 9 h] bro!r's room4 ,! little invalid 0 at ! end ( 8 convalesc5ce1 &1 ?\gh depriv$ ( walks1 he display$ ! gayety ( a *ild ab\t to be born aga9 into life4 ,he receiv$ me ) all sorts ( pretty ways1 & 8 graci\s humor r$\bl$ my hope4 ,he w\ld break ! ice betwe5 8 si/] & me4 ,! h&s ( a "y man & ( a "y girl jo9 s easily :5 !y t\* ar\nd an innoc5t & curly head4 ,b :5 ,*>lotte appe>$1 s :ite 9 a dress :i* br\ght out h] pal5ess /ill m1 pret5d+ a heada*e to avoid ! pranks ( ,luci51 ! eyes burn+ ) fev]1 ,i und]/ood t ,i _h believ$ too readily 9 a possible reconciliation4 ,i salut$ h]4 ,%e f\nd a way to n ev5 respond to my salutation4 ,i _h kn[n ?ree p]sons 9 h] already2 ! creature t5d]1 delicate1 compassionate1 ! "y girl easily />tl$1 ! lov] impassion$ almo/ to ec/asy4 ,i saw n[ ^u ?is noble visage ! colde/1 ! mo/ imp5etrable m>k ( contempt4 ,ah6 ! old & banal =mula3 ! patrician pride--,i 0 able to acc\nt = x & t c]ta9 sil5ces kill z surely z ! headman's ax4 ,?is impression 0 s bitt] t ,i c\ld n resign myself to x4 ,?is v day ,i wat*$ to h a ^w ) h]1 &1 at ! mom5t :5 %e 0 go+ to h] room t[>d ! close ( ! aft]noon1 to dress h]self = d9n]1 ,i w5t to h] on ! /airs4 ,%e put me by ) a ge/ure s haughty1 ) s cruel a 8,monsieur1 ,i d n "k y any long]60 ^u h] trembl+ lips1 a look s indignant 9 h] eyes t ,i c\ld n f9d a ^w to say to h]4 ,%e _h judg$ me & ,i 0 condemn$4 ,yes1 condemn$4 ,%e despis$ me = my fe> ( dea?2 & x 0 true1 ,i _h felt t c[>dly *ill be=e ! black hole1 :ile %e d>$ face ! wor/4 ,i c]ta9ly _h ! "r to say to myself t ?is alone w\ld n h arre/$ me be=e ! suicide ( bo?1 if pity = h] _h n be5 jo9$ ) x & my ambition z a ?9k]4 ,no matt]4 ,%e _h giv5 h]self to me "u "o condition1 & to ?is tragic condition ,i _h respond$ 8yes0 be=e1 & 8no0 aft]4 ,ah1 well4 ,%e scorn$ me1 b %e _h be5 m9e4 ,i _h held h] 9 my arms1 ^! arms1 & ,i 0 ! fir/ to kiss ^? lips4 ,yes1 ,i suff]$ cruelly betwe5 ?is night & my def9ite dep>ture f ! h\se4 ,h[ev]1 x 0 n ! arid & conqu]$ despair ( ! summ]1 ! total abdication 9 di/ress4 ,i reta9$ at ! bottom ( my he>t1 ,i _c say a happ9ess1 b a some?+ ( satisfaction :i* su/a9$ me 9 ?is crisis4 ,:5 ,*>lotte pass$ me )\t notic+ me any m ?an "s object =gott5 !re by a s]vant1 ,i contemplat$ h] response to my decl>ation ( love4 ,= ano!r exp]i5ce ( t happ9ess1 p]haps1 ,i w\ld h accept$ anew ! fatal compact1 ) ! cold resolve to keep x4 ,b ?is happ9ess _h none ! less be5 true4 ,& 0 ?is love really1 irrem$iably end$8 ,9 do+ z %e _h done ,mlle1 de ,jussat _h prov$ a v deep passion4 ,0 x possible t no?+ rema9$ ( x 9 ?is romantic he>t8 ,to-day & 9 ! light ( ! trag$y :i* end$ ?is lam5table adv5ture1 ,i compreh5d t x 0 precisely ?is romantic "* :i* prev5t$ any return ( love into ?is he>t4 ,%e _h lov$ 9 me a mirage1 a be+ absolutely diff]5t f myself1 & ! sudd5 vision ( my true nature hav+ at a bl[ dispell$ h] illusions1 %e hat$ me ) all ! p[] ( h] old love4 ,alas6 ) all my pret5sions to ! le>n$ psy*ologi/1 ,i did n see ! evolution ( ?is m9d1 !n6 ,i did n ev5 suspect t %e w\ld seek at any price ! means ( kn[+ me bett]1 & t %e w\ld g1 9 ! di/raction ( h] actual disgu/1 s f> z to treat me z judges treat ! accus$2 9 f9e t %e w\ld read my pap]s & w\ld n recoil be=e any scruple4 ,i did n ev5 "k en\gh to guess t %e 0 n ! girl to survive su* a %ock z ! revelation ( my cold-blood$ resolutions writt5 9 my notebook br\ght ^u h]1 & ,i did n ?9k to de/roy ! bottle ( poison :i* ,i _h refus$ to give h]4 ,i believ$ myself to be a great obs]v] because ,i reflect$ a great deal4 ,! quibbles ( my analysis conceal$ f me its falsity4 ,x 0 n necess>y to reflect at ?is p]iod1 b to obs]ve4 ,in/ead1 deceiv$ by ?is reason+ :i* ,i h j gone ov] to y1 & p]suad$ t ,*>lotte lov$ me /ill 9 spite ( h] contempt1 ,i tri$ to recall ?is love by ! mo/ simple means1 ! mo/ ineffective at t mom5t4 ,i wrote to h]4 ,i f\nd my lett] on my bureau ! same day1 unop5$4 ,i w5t to h] door at night & call$ to h]4 ,?is door 0 lock$ & no "o repli$4 ,i tri$ to /op h] aga94 ,%e wav$ me (f ) m au?ority ?an ! fir/ "t1 )\t look+ at me4 ,f9ally1 ! he>tbreak ( ?is cont9u\s insult 0 /rong] ?an ! ardors ( passion :i* _h begun to k9dle 9 me4 ,on ! ev5+ ( ! day 9 :i* %e _h ?us repuls$ me1 ,i wept mu*1 !n ,i resolv$ ^u a def9ite c\rse4 ,a little ( my old en]gy _h return$1 = x 0 ne$$ = ?is "p :i* ,i _h und]tak54 ,! next week ,m4 de ,plane & ,c\nt ,&r 7 com+4 ,?is w\ld h decid$ me if ,i _h /ill hesitat$4 ,_! pres5ce1 9 ?is d\ble & s9i/] disa/] ( my love & ( my pride1 no1 ,i w\ld n1 ,i c\ld n endure x4 ,?is1 !n1 is :at ,i _h decid$3 ,! m>quis _h ask$ me to prolong my /ay until ! #ae? ( ,novemb]4 ,x 0 n[ ! #c;d4 ,i ann\nc$1 on ! morn+ ( ?is fatal #c;d ( ,novemb]1 t ,i _h j receiv$ f my "m a lett] :i* made me a little uneasy2 !n 9 ! =5oon1 ,i said t a dispat* _h /ill fur!r increas$ my anxiety4 ,i ask$ !n ( ,m4 de ,jussat p]mission to g to ,cl]mont e>ly ! next day1 add+ t if ,i did n return1 w\ld he be s good z to box ! articles ,i _h left & s5d !m to me4 ,i held ?is conv]sation 9 ! pres5ce ( ,*>lotte1 assur$ t %e w\ld int]pret x 9 its true significance3 8,he is go+ away n to return40 ,i expect$ t ! news ( ?is sep>ation w\ld move h]1 &1 wi%+ to pr(it by ?is emotion1 ,i _h ! audacity to write to h] ano!r note1 ^! two l9es only3 8,on ! po9t ( leav+ y =ev]1 ,i h ! "r to ask a la/ int]view4 ,i w come to y at elev5 o'clock40 ,x 0 necess>y t %e %\ld n return ?is note )\t read+ x4 ,i plac$ x op5 ^u h] table1 at ! risk ( los+ all if ! *amb]maid %\ld see x4 ,ah6 h[ my he>t beat1 :5 at five m9utes to elev5 o'clock1 ,i took my way to h] room & tri$ ! door4 ,x 0 n bolt$4 ,%e 0 wait+ = me4 ,i saw at ! fir/ glance t ! /ruggle w\ld be h>d4 ,h] somb] c\nt5ance %[$ too pla9ly t %e _h n p]mitt$ me to come t %e might =give me4 ,%e wore a d>k silk dress1 & nev] _h h] eyes be5 m fix$1 m implacably fix$ & cold4 8,monsieur10 said %e z soon z ,i _h %ut ! door1 8,i am ignorant ( :at y int5d to say to me--,i am ignorant ( x & ,i d n wi% to "k4 ,x is n to li/5 to y t ,i h all[$ y to come4 ,i swe> to y1 & ,i "k h[ to keep my ^w--if y take a /ep t[>d me & if y try to speak to me )\t my p]mission1 ,i w call & y %all be ?r[n f ! w9d[ l a ?ief40 ,:ile speak+ %e _h put h] f+] on ! button ( ! electric bell4 ,h] br[1 h] m\?1 h] ge/ures1 h] voice %[$ su* resolution t ,i did n d>e to speak4 ,%e cont9u$3 8,y h1 monsieur1 caus$ me to commit v unwor?y actions4 ,! fir/ has = excuse t ,i did n believe y capable ( ! infamy y h employ$4 ,beside ,i %\ld h kn[n h[ to expiate x10 %e add$1 z if speak+ to h]self4 8,! second4 ,i d n look = any excuse40 ,& h] face became purple ) %ame4 8,x 0 too insupportable to ?9k t y _h act$ ?us4 ,i wi%$ to be sure ( :at y are4 ,i wi%$ to "k4 ,y _h told me t y kept a j\rnal4 ,i desir$ to read x & ,i h done s4 ,i w5t into y\r room :5 y 7 n !re1 & =c$ ! lock ( y\r notebook4 ,yes1 yes1 ,i did t6 ,i h be5 puni%$1 s9ce ,i h read y\r infam\s plans4 ,! ?ird4 ,9 tell+ y ,i acquit ! debt :i* ,i h contract$ ) y by ! second4 ,! ?ird10 & %e hesitat$1 9 my indignation1 8,i wrote to my bro!r4 ,he kn[s ev]y?+60 8,ah60 cri$ ,i1 8!n y are lo/40 8,y "k :at ,i h sworn10 %e int]rupt$2 & %e put h] f+] aga9 on ! bell4 8,be quiet4 ,no?+ worse c befall me ?an has already happ5$10 %e cont9u$1 8& no "o w d any?+ m = or aga9/ me4 ,my bro!r w "k t also1 & :at ,i h resolv$4 ,! lett] w rea* him to-morr[ morn+4 ,i ought to w>n y s9ce y hold y\r life s de>4 ,& n[1 g away40 8,*>lotte10 ,i implor$4 8,if 9 "o m9ute y h n gone out10 said %e1 look+ at ! clock1 8,i w call40 ,,vii4 ,,conclusion4 ,& ,i obey$6 ,! next day1 at six o'clock ,i left ! *teau1 a prey to ! mo/ s9i/] pres5tim5ts1 try+ 9 va9 to p]suade myself t ?is sc5e w\ld n be foll[$ by "s t]rible effect2 t ,c\nt ,&r w\ld arrive soon en\gh to save h] f a desp]ate resolution2 t %e w\ld hesitate at ! la/ mom5t2 t "s unexpect$ ?+ w\ld happ54 ,z to flee+ f ! possible v5geance ( ! bro!r1 ,i did n = a mom5t ?9k ( x4 ,?is "t1 ,i _h resum$ my "* because ,i _h an idea to su/a9 me1 t ( all[+ no p]son to humiliate me any fur!r4 ,yes1 al?\gh ,i _h falt]$ be=e a lov+ girl & 9 ! weakness ( happy love1 ,i w\ld n d s be=e ! ?reat ( a man4 ,i arriv$ at ,cl]mont1 dev\r$ by an anxiety :i* did n la/ v long1 = ,i le>n$ ( ! suicide ( ,mlle4 de ,jussat & 0 arre/$ at ! same mom5t4 ,f ! fir/ words ( ! ,judge ( ,in/ruction ,i recon/ruct$ all ! details ( ! suicide3 ,*>lotte _h tak5 f ! flask :i* ,i _h b\ght z mu* z %e ?\ght suffici5t to cause h] dea?4 ,%e _h done t on ! v day %e _h read my j\rnal1 ^: lock ,i f\nd _h be5 =c$4 ,i _h n notic$ x because my m9d 0 s fill$ ) o!r ?+s ?an ^! /]ile notes4 ,%e _h be5 c>eful1 9 ord] to turn away my suspicions1 to replace ) wat] ! quantity ( nux vomica ?us tak54 ,%e _h ?r[n ! flask out ( ! w9d[ because %e did n wi% h] fa!r & "m to le>n ( h] suicide except+ ?r\gh h] bro!r4 ,& ,i1 :o "k ! :ole tru? ( ?is horrible drama1 :o c\ld at lea/ give my j\rnal z a presumption ( my innoc5ce1 de/roy$ ?is j\rnal aft] my fir/ exam9ation2 ,i h refus$ to speak1 to def5d myself--because ( ?is bro!r6 ,i h told y1 ,i h dra9$ to ! bottom ! cup ( humiliation & ,i w d no m4 ,?is man :om ,i s mu* envi$ f ! fir/ day1 ?is man :o repres5ts dea? to me n[1 & :o1 kn[+ ! :ole tru?1 mu/ consid] me ! l[e/ ( ! l[4 ,i d n wi% t he %\ld h ! "r to q despise me1 & he has n ! "r4 ,he does n because we bo? are sil5t4 ,b ?is = me1 is to risk my life 9 ord] to save ! honor ( ! dead1 & = him to sacrifice an innoc5t p]son to ?is honor4 ,( u two1 ( me :o w n def5d myself by tak+ %elt] beh9d ! dead body ( ,*>lotte1 & ( him :o1 hav+ ! lett] :i* proves h] suicide1 keeps x1 to av5ge himself on ! lov] ( 8 si/] by all[+ him to be condemn$ z an assass91 :i* is ! brave man8 ,:i* is ! g5tleman8 ,all ! %ame ( my weakness--if !re be any %ame1 ,i wipe out by n def5d+ myself1 & ,i feel a pr\d pleasure1 z a rev5ge = ^? t]rible la/ days1 at n hav+ kill$ myself1 at n ask+ ( dea? ! oblivion ( s _m tortures4 ,c\nt ,&r mu/ also rea* ! bottom ( 8 infamy4 ,if ,i am condemn$1 he kn[+ me to be innoc5t1 he hav+ ! pro( ( x1 he keep+ sil5t1 ah well6 ! ,jussat-,r&ons w h no?+ ) :i* to reproa* me--we w be quits4 ,h[ev]1 ,i h told all to y1 my v5]at$1 my de> ma/]2 ,i h op5$ my s\l to y1 & 9 confid+ ?is secret to y\r honor1 ,i "k too well :om ,i am address+ ev5 to insi/ ^u ! promise ,i h tak5 ! lib]ty to exact on ! fir/ page ( ?is memoir4 ,b1 y see1 ,i am /ifl$ by ?is sil5ce2 ,i /ifle ) ! weight :i* is always1 always ^u me4 ,to say all 9 a ^w1 & appli$ to my s5sation1 x is legitimate1 ,i /ifle ) remorse4 ,i want to be und]/ood1 consol$1 lov$2 ,i want "s "o to pity me & say words to me :i* %all dissipate ! phantoms1 ! evil spirits1 ! tortur+ phantoms4 ,i made out1 :5 ,i began ^! pages1 a li/ ( que/ions :i* ,i wi%$ to ask y at ! end4 ,i flatt]$ myself t ,i c\ld rec\nt to y my hi/ory z y /ate y\r problems 9 psy*ology 9 y\r books :i* ,i h read s mu*1 & n[ ,i f9d no?+ to say to y only ! ^w ( despair3 8,de pr(undis60 ,write to me1 my de> ma/]1 direct me4 ,/r5g!n me 9 ! doctr9e :i* 01 :i* is /ill m9e1 9 ! conviction ( univ]sal necessity :i* wills t ev5 our mo/ dete/able actions1 ev5 ?is cold ent]prise 9 :i* ,i emb>k$ 9 ! int]e/ ( sci5ce1 ev5 my weakness be=e ! compact ( dea?1 are a "p ( ! laws ( ?is imm5se univ]se4 ,tell me t ,i am n a mon/]1 t !re are no mon/]s1 t y w1 if ,i em]ge f ?is supreme crisis1 h me = y\r disciple1 y\r fri5d4 ,if y 7 a physician1 & a sick man came to y1 y w\ld heal him = humanity's sake4 ,y are a physician1 a great physician ( s\ls4 ,ah6 m9e is badly hurt & ble$+4 ,i pray y = a ^w to com=t me1 a ^w1 a s+le ^w1 & y w be =ev] bless$ by y\r fai?ful4 ,,rob]t ,,greslon4 ,v4 ,,torm5t ,,( ,,ideas4 ,a ,,mon? _h pass$ s9ce ! "m ( ,rob]t ,greslon _h br\ght into ! h]mitage ( ! ,rue ,guy de la ,brosse ! /range manuscript :i* ,adri5 ,sixte _h hesitat$ to read4 ,& ! philosoph]1 aft] ^! f\r weeks1 0 /ill ! slave ( ! tr\ble inflict$ by ! read+1 to su* an ext5t t ev5 8 humble neighbors notic$ x4 ,!re 7 cont9ual consultations betwe5 ,mlle4 ,trap5>d & ! ,c>bonnets1 9 ! lodg+ fill$ ) its odor ( lea!r1 :]e ! fai?ful s]vant & ! judici\s conci]ges discuss$ ! cause ( ! /range *ange 9 ! mann]s ( ! celebrat$ analy/4 ,! admirable1 automatic regul>ity ( 8 go+s out & com+s 91 :i* _h made him a liv+ *ronomet] = ! :ole qu>t]1 _h be5 sudd5ly trans=m$ into a febrile & inexplicable anxiety4 ,! philosoph]1 s9ce ! visit ( ,mme4 ,greslon1 w5t & came1 l "o :o _c /ay 9 any place1 :o1 z soon z he goes out ?9ks he w return1 & z soon z he has come 91 _c endure 8 room4 ,9 ! /reet1 in/ead ( walk+ along ) ! me?odical /ep :i* reveals a n]v\s ma*9e p]fectly balanc$1 he hurri$ on1 he /opp$1 he ge/iculat$1 z if disput+ ) himself4 ,?is en]vation 0 betray$ by signs /ill m /range4 ,mlle4 ,trap5>d _h told to ! ,c>bonnets t h] ma/] did n g to b$ n[1 be=e two or ?ree o'clock 9 ! morn+3 8,& x is n because he is writ+10 insi/$ ! good woman1 8= he walks & walks4 ,! fir/ "t ,i ?\ght he 0 ill4 ,i got up to ask him if he wi%$ "s infusion4 ,he1 :o is always s polite1 s g5tle1 t y w\ld n suspect him to be a man :o kn[s s mu*1 he s5t me away 9 a brutal mann]40 8,& ,i :o saw him ! o!r day10 respond$ ,"m ,c>bonnet1 8z ,i 0 return+ f a c\rse at ! caf6 ,i w\ld n believe my eyes4 ,he 0 !re1 beh9d ! w9d[ read+ a pap]4 ,if ,i _h n kn[n him ,i %\ld h be5 afraid4 ,y ought to h se5 him--t knit br[ & t m\?40 8,at ! caf60 cri$ ,mlle4 ,trap5>d4 8,= ! fifte5 ye>s ,i h be5 ) him ,i h nev] se5 him op5 a pap] b once40 8,t man10 conclud$ ,fa!r ,c>bonnet1 8has "s tr\ble :i* ov]heats 8 blood4 ,& tr\ble y see1 ,mlle4 ,m>iette1 is1 s to speak1 l ! tun ( ,adelaide1 x has no bottom4 ,= a fact1 x comm5c$ ) ! summons ( ! judge & ! visit ( ! lady 9 black4 ,& d y "k :at ,i ?9k8 ,p]haps x is ab\t a son ( 8 :o is do+ badly40 8,mon ,dieu60 exclaim$ ,m>iette1 8he h a son80 8,& :y n80 cont9u$ ! conci]ge1 w9k+ "o eye beh9d 8 spectacles2 8don't y ?9k he gallivant$ ar\nd l o!r folks :5 he 0 "y80 ,!n he communicat$ to ,mlle4 ,trap5>d ! frightful reports :i* 7 go+ ab\t 9 ! rez-de-*ausses conc]n+ poor ,m4 ,sixte1 s9ce 8 visible *ange ( habits4 ,all ! malici\s tongues agre$ 9 attribut+ ! tr\ble ( ! philosoph] to ! citation ( ! judge4 ,! wa%]woman pret5d$ to h x f a c\ntryman ( ,m4 ,sixte1 t 8 =tune proce$$ f a tru/ :i* 8 fa!r _h abus$1 & t he w\ld h to return x4 ,! but*] told ^? :o w\ld li/5 t ! savant 0 m>ri$1 & t 8 wife _h made a t]rible sc5e & 0 go+ to br+ a suit aga9/ him4 ,! coal m]*ant _h ins9uat$1 t ! wor?y man 0 ! bro!r ( an assass9 ^: execution "u ! false "n ( ,campi /ill torm5t$ ! popul> m9d4 8,i w nev] g to _! h\ses aga910 moan$ ,mlle4 ,trap5>d2 8is x possible to imag9e su* horrors60 ,& ! poor girl left ! lodge completely he>tbrok54 ,?is great creature1 high 9 color1 /rong z an ox 9 spite ( h] fifty-five ye>s1 ) h] big %\ld]s1 h] blue wool /ock+s :i* %e _h h]self knit1 & h] cap fitt+ closely ov] h] compact *ignon1 felt a /rong affection = h] ma/] because all ! diff]5t elem5ts ( h] frank & simple nature 7 involv$ 9 x4 ,%e respect$ ! g5tleman1 ! educat$ man :o 0 (t5 m5tion$ 9 ! pap]s4 ,%e *]i%$1 9 ! old ba*elor :o nev] exam9$ 8 acc\nts1 & left h] mi/ress ( ! h\se1 an assur$ s\rce ( com=t = h] old age4 ,f9ally1 ?is solid & robu/ creature protect$ ! man1 feeble 9 body & s simplet1 z %e said1 t a *ild t5 ye>s old might h *eat$ him4 ,su* words mortifi$ h] pride at ! same "t t ! sudd5 *ange ( humor ( ! philosoph] r5d]$ _! resid5ce toge!r uncom=table4 ,f g5u9e affection %e became anxi\s because h] ma/] did n eat or sleep4 ,%e saw t he 0 sad1 anxi\s1 & ill1 b %e c\ld d no?+ to make him *e]ful1 nor ev5 guess ! cause ( 8 melan*oly & agitation4 ,:at did %e ?9k :51 "o aft]noon 9 ! mon? ( ,m>*1 ,m4 ,sixte came 9 ab\t five o'clock1 aft] hav+ _h 8 breakfa/ outside1 & said to h]3 8,is ! valise 9 good ord]1 ,m>iette80 8,i d n "k1 monsieur4 ,monsieur has n us$ x s9ce ,i came into ! h\se40 8,g & get x10 said ! philosoph]4 ,m>iette obey$4 ,%e br\ght f a l(t :i* s]v$ z lumb]-room & woodh\se toge!r a small1 du/y lea!r trunk1 ) ru/y locks & keys entirely lack+4 8,v well10 said ,m4 ,sixte1 8y may g & buy a little "o l t1 imm$iately1 & y may put into x :atev] is necess>y = a j\rney40 8,is monsieur go+ away80 ask$ ,m>iette4 8,yes10 said ! philosoph]1 8= a few days40 8,b monsieur has no?+ t he ne$s10 insi/$ ! old s]vant1 8monsieur _c g away l t1 )\t any travel+ rugs1 )\t----0 8,procure :at is ne$$10 int]rupt$ ! philosoph]1 8& ha/5--,i take ! tra9 at n9e o'clock40 8,& is x necess>y t ,i accompany monsieur40 8,no1 t is useless10 said ,m4 ,sixte1 8come1 y h no "t to lose40 8,oh6 if he only does n ?9k ( kill+ himself10 said ,c>bonnet :5 ,m>iette _h told ( ?is new move1 almo/ z extraord9>y 9 ?is little corn] ( ! _w z if ! philosoph] _h ann\nc$ 8 m>riage4 8,ah60 said ! s]vant1 foll[+ up 8 idea1 8if he only w\ld take me ) him6 ,if ,i h to pay out ( my own pocket1 ,i w g40 ,?is sublime cry1 9 ! m\? ( a creature :o _h come f ,paugres 9 ,ard*e1 to be a s]vant & :o c>ri$ economy s f> z to make h] home dresses f ! old r$+otes ( ! savant1 w demon/rate bett] ?an any analysis :at uneas9ess ! metamorphosis ( ?is man :o 0 pass+ ?r\gh a moral crisis1 :i* 0 t]rible = him1 inspir$ 9 ^! humble p4 ,n realiz+ t he 0 obs]v$1 he %[$ ! int5sity ( x 9 8 slighte/ ge/ures z well z 9 ! features ( 8 face4 ,s9ce ! dea? ( 8 "m he _h n kn[n su* unhappy h\rs1 & ! suff]+ inflict$ by ! irrep>able sep>ation 0 entirely s5tim5tal2 b ! read+ ( ,rob]t ,greslon's memoir _h attack$ him 9 ! c5t] ( 8 be+1 8 intellectual life1 8 sole reason = liv+4 ,at ! mom5t he gave ,m>iette ! ord] to prep>e 8 valise1 he 0 z mu* ov]come by fright z on ! night he turn$ ov] ! pages ( ! notebook ( confid5ces4 ,?is fright began f ! fir/ pages ( ?is n>rative 9 :i* a crim9al ab]ration ( m9d 0 /udi$1 z if spread out = display1 ) su* a mixture ( pride & ( %ame1 ( cynicism & ( c&or1 ( infamy & ( sup]iority4 ,at meet+ ! phrase 9 :i* ,rob]t ,greslon _h decl>$ himself unit$ to him by a cord z close z x 0 unbreakable1 ! great psy*ologi/ _h trembl$1 & he _h trembl$ at e repetition ( 8 "n 9 ?is s+ul> analysis1 at e citation ( "o ( 8 works1 :i* prov$ ! "r ( ?is abom9able lib]t9e to call himself 8 pupil4 ,a fasc9ation made up ( horror & curiosity _h con/ra9$ him to g /raight ?r\gh to ! end ( ?is fragm5t ( biography 9 :i* 8 ideas1 8 *]i%$ ideas1 8 sci5ce1 8 belov$ sci5ce1 appe>$ unit$ ) acts s %ameful4 ,ah6 if !y _h be5 unit$6 ,b no1 ^! ideas1 ?is sci5ce1 ! accus$ claim$ !m z ! excuse1 z ! cause ( ! mo/ mon/r\s1 ! mo/ complaisant depravity6 ,z he advanc$ into ! manuscript he felt t a little ( 8 inmo/ p]son became soil$1 corrupt$1 gangr5$2 he f\nd s mu* ( himself 9 ?is "y man1 b a 8himself0 made up ( s5tim5ts :i* he dete/$ ! mo/ 9 ! _w4 ,= 9 ?is illu/ri\s philosoph] ! holy virg9ities ( consci5ce rema9$ intact1 &1 beh9d ! bold nihilism ( m9d1 ! noble he>t ( an +5u\s man 0 hidd54 ,x 0 9 ?is inviolate consci5ce1 9 ?is irreproa*able hone/y1 t ! ma/] ( ?is felon preceptor felt himself sudd5ly lac]at$4 ,?is s9i/] hi/ory ( a love affair1 s basely c>ri$ on1 ( a treason s black1 ( a suicide s melan*oly1 br\ght him face to face ) ! mo/ frightful vision2 t ( 8 m9d act+ & corrupt+1 81 :o _h liv$ 9 volunt>y r5unciation1 9 daily purity4 ,! :ole adv5ture ( ,rob]t ,greslon %[$ to him ! complexities ( a hide\s pride & ( an abject s5suality1 to him :o _h labor$ only to s]ve psy*ology1 to him a mode/ work] 9 a labor :i* he believ$ b5efic5t1 & 9 ! mo/ sev]e asceticism1 9 ord] t ! enemies ( 8 doctr9es c\ld n argue f 8 example aga9/ 8 pr9ciples4 ,?is impression 0 ! m viol5t z x 0 unexpect$4 ,a physician ( l>ge he>t w\ld exp]i5ce an angui% ( an analog\s ord] if1 hav+ e/abli%$ ! !ory ( a rem$y1 he le>n$ t "o ( 8 assi/ants _h tri$ ! application ( x1 & t all 9 "o w>d ( ! hospital 7 9 agony f its effects4 ,to d wrong1 kn[+ x & will+ x1 is v bitt] to a man :o is bett] ?an 8 de$s4 ,b to h devot$ ?irty ye>s to a "w1 to h believ$ ?is "w useful1 to h pursu$ x s9c]ely1 simply1 to h repell$ z insult+ ! accusations ( immorality ?r[n at him by 8 angry adv]s>ies1 &1 sudd5ly1 by ! light ( a frightful revelation1 to hold an indisputable pro(1 a pro( real z life itself1 t ?is "w has poison$ a m9d1 t x c>ries 9 x a pr9ciple ( dea?1 t x is spread+ ?is pr9ciple to all ! corn]s ( ! e>?--ah6 :at a cruel %ock1 :at a savage w\nd to receive1 if ! %ock %\ld la/ only an h\r1 & ! w\nd be clos$ at once6 ,all revolution>y ?9k]s h kn[n su* h\rs ( angui%4 ,b mo/ pass quickly ?r\gh !m1 & = ?is reason x is r>e = a man to be ?ru/ into ! battle ( ideas )\t 8 becom+ soon ! com$ian ( 8 fir/ s9c]ities4 ,he su/a9s 8 rle4 ,he has p>tisans1 & m ?an all he soon comes1 by friction ) life1 to t conception ( ! peu prs almo/1 :i* makes him admit1 z inevitable1 a c]ta9 fall+ away f 8 ideal4 ,he says to himself t "o does evil "h1 "r else:]e1 & sometimes1 t aft] all1 ! _w & ! p w always g ! same4 ,) ,adri5 ,sixte s9c]ity 0 too complete = any su* reason+ to be possible4 ,he _h nei!r rle to play nor fai?ful adh]5ts to manage4 ,he 0 alone4 ,8 philosophy1 & he made only "o1 & ! compromises by :i* all great fame is accompani$1 _h 9 no way impair$ 8 fi]ce & pr\d m9d4 ,we mu/ add t he _h f\nd ! means1 ?anks to 8 p]fect good fai?1 ( pass+ ?r\gh society )\t ev] see+ x4 ,! passions :i* he _h depict$1 ! crimes :i* he _h /udi$1 he saw z p]sons :o designate m$ical obs]vation1 8,a ?irty-five ye>s1 su* pr(ession1 unm>ri$40 ,& ! exposition ( ! case is develop$ )\t a detail :i* gives to ! read] ! s5sation ( ! individual4 ,always ! rigor\s !oriz] on ! passions1 ! m9ute anatomi/ ( ! w1 he _h nev] fairly se5 face to face a creature ( fle% & blood2 s t ! memoir ( ,rob]t ,greslon did n speak only to 8 consci\sness z an hone/ man4 ,s1 dur+ ! eight days :i* foll[$ ! fir/ read+1 !re 0 a cont9ual obsession1 & ?is increas$ ! moral pa9 by unit+ x ) a sort ( physical uneas9ess4 ,! psy*ologi/ saw 8 ill-fat$ disciple z he _h look$ ^u him "h 9 ?is same room1 ) 8 feet on ! same c>pet1 lean+ 8 arms on ?is same table1 brea?+1 mov+4 ,beh9d ! words on ! pap] he he>d t voice a little dull :i* pron\nc$ ! t]rible phrase3 8,i h liv$ ) y\r m9d & ( y\r m9d1 s passionately1 s completely20 & ! words ( ! confession1 in/ead ( be+ simple *>act]s writt5 ) cold ink ^u in]t pap]1 became animat$ into words beh9d :i* he felt a liv+ be+3 8,ah60 ?\ght he :5 ?is image became too /rong1 8:y did ! "m br+ ?is notebook to me80 ,x w\ld h be5 s natural = ! unhappy woman1 a prey to mad anxiety1 to prove ! innoc5ce ( h] son by violat+ ?is tru/4 ,b no1 ,rob]t _h )\t d\bt deceiv$ h] ) ! hypocrisy ( :i* he s boa/$1 ! mis]able fell[1 z if x 7 a psy*ological conque/4 ,! haunt+ halluc9ation ( ! face ( ! "y man w\ld h suffic$ to ov]come ,adri5 ,sixte4 ,:5 ! "m _h cri$3 8,y h corrupt$ my son10 8 le>n$ s]5ity _h be5 sc>cely di/urb$4 ,9 l mann]1 he _h oppos$ only contempt to ! accusation ( ! eld] ,jussat1 repeat$ by ! judge1 & to ! rem>ks ( ! latt] on moral responsibility4 ,h[ tranquil he _h gone out ( ! ,palais de ,ju/ice6 ,& n[ !re 0 no m contempt 9 him2 t s]5ity 0 conqu]$1 & he1 ! negator ( all lib]ty1 he ! fatali/ :o decompos$ virtue & vice ) ! brutality ( a *emi/ /udy+ a gas1 he ! bold prophet ( univ]sal me*anism1 & :o until !n _h always exp]i5c$ ! p]fect h>mony ( m9d & he>t1 suff]$ ) a suff]+ 9 contradiction to all 8 doctr9es--he felt remorse1 he felt himself responsible6 ,x 0 only aft] ^! eight clays ( ! fir/ %ock1 dur+ :i* ! memoir _h be5 read & r]ead1 s t he c\ld repeat all ! phrases ( x1 t ?is conflict ( he>t & m9d became cle> to ,adri5 ,sixte1 & ! philosoph] tri$ to recov] himself4 ,he walk$ to ! ,j>d9 des ,plantes1 "o aft]noon t[>d ! end ( ,febru>y1 an aft]noon z mild z spr+4 ,he sat d[n on a b5* 9 8 favorite walk1 t :i* runs along ! ,rue de ,buffon1 & at ! foot ( a ,virg9ia acacia1 propp$ up ) crut*es1 adorn$ ) pla/] l a wall1 & ) knotty bran*es l ! f+]s ( a g\ty giant4 ,! au?or ( ! 8,psy*ology ( ,god0 lov$ ?is old trunk ^: sap 0 all dri$ up because ( ! date inscrib$ on ! plac>d & :i* con/itut$ ! civil /atus ( ! poor tree4 8,plant$ 9 #afcb40 ,! ye> ( ! bir? ( ,sp9oza4 ,! sun ( ! e>ly aft]noon 0 v s(t & ?is impression relax$ ! n]ves ( ! prom5ad]4 ,he look$ ar\nd him abs5tly1 & 0 pleas$ to foll[ ! movem5ts ( two *ildr5 :o 7 play+ ne> _! "m4 ,!y 7 collect+ s& ) little wood5 %ovels ) :i* to build an imag9>y h\se4 ,sudd5ly "o ( !m rose up brusquely & /ruck 8 head aga9/ ! b5* :i* 0 beh9d him4 ,he mu/ h hurt himself1 = 8 face contract$ into a grimace ( pa91 &1 be=e bur/+ into te>s1 !re 7 ! few seconds ( suffocat$ sil5ce :i* prec$e ! sobs ( *ildr54 ,!n1 9 a fit ( furi\s rage1 he turn$ to ! b5* & /ruck x furi\sly ) 8 fi/4 8,are y /upid1 my poor ,con/ant10 said 8 "m to him1 %ak+ him & dry+ 8 eyes2 8come1 let me wipe y\r nose10 & %e wip$ x2 8x w d y mu* good to be angry at a piece ( wood40 ,?is sc5e div]t$ ! philosoph]4 ,:5 he rose to cont9ue 8 walk "u ?is pleasant sun1 he ?\ght ( x = a long "t4 8,i am l t little boy10 said he to himself3 8,9 8 *ildi%ness1 he gives life to an inanimate object1 he makes x responsible4 ,& :at else h ,i be5 do+ = m ?an a week80 ,= ! fir/ "t s9ce ! read+ ( ! memoir1 he d>$ to =mulate 8 ?\ght ) ! cle>ness :i* 0 ! prop] *>act]i/ic ( 8 m9d & ( 8 works3 8,i h believ$ myself responsible = a "p 9 ?is frightful adv5ture4 ,responsible8 ,!re is no s5se 9 t ^w40 ,:ile pass+ t[>d ! gate ( ! g>d51 !n 9 ! direction ( ! isle ,sa9t ,l\is & t[>d ,notre ,dame1 he took up ! detail ( ! reason+ aga9/ ?is notion ( responsibility 9 ! 8,anatomy ( ! ,w10 above all 8 critique ( ! idea ( cause4 ,he _h always p>ticul>ly held to ?is piece4 8,t is evid5t10 he conclud$4 ,!n1 aft] he 0 once m assur$ ( ! c]ta9ty ( 8 own intellect1 he con/ra9$ himself to ?9k ( ! ,rob]t ,greslon1 n[ a prison] 9 cell numb] sev5 9 ! jail ( ,riom1 & ( ! ,rob]t ,greslon =m]ly a "y /ud5t ( ,cl]mont lean+ ov] ! pages ( ! 8,!ory ( ! ,passions0 & ( ! 8,psy*ology ( ,god40 ,he felt anew an insupportable s5sation t 8 books %\ld h be5 ?us h&l$1 m$itat$ ^u1 lov$ by ?is *ild4 8,b we are d\ble60 ?\ght he1 8& :y ?is p[]lessness to conqu] illusions :i* we "k to be false80 ,all at once a phrase ( ! memoir came to 8 m9d3 8,i h remorse1 :5 ! doctr9es :i* =m ! v ess5ce ( my intellig5ce make me consid] remorse z ! mo/ fooli% ( human illusions40 ,! id5tity betwe5 8 moral condition & t ( 8 pupil appe>$ s hateful to him t he tri$ to get rid ( x by new reason+4 8,ah1 well60 said he to himself1 8let u imitate ! geometrician1 let u admit to be true :at we "k to be false4 ,let u proce$ by absurdity4 ,yes1 man is an ag5t & a free ag5t4 ,!n he is responsible4 ,maybe4 ,b :51 :]e1 h[ h ,i act$ badly8 ,:y d ,i h remorse because ( ?is sc\ndrel8 ,:at is my fault80 ,he return$1 resolv$ to review 8 :ole life4 ,he saw himself a little *ild1 work+ at 8 tasks ) a m9ut5ess ( consci5ti\sness wor?y ( 8 fa!r ! clock mak]4 ,!n :5 he _h begun to ?9k1 :at did he love1 :at did he wi%8 ,! tru?4 ,:5 he _h tak5 ! p51 :y did he write1 to s]ve :at cause1 if n t ( tru?8 ,to ! tru? he _h sacrific$ ev]y?+2 =tune1 place1 family1 heal?1 love1 fri5d%ip4 ,& :at did ev5 ,*ri/ianity tea*1 ! doctr9e ! mo/ p5etrat$ by ideas diff]5t f 8 own8 8,peace on e>?1 to m5 ( good w10 t is to ^? :o h s\ght = ! tru?4 ,n a day1 n an h\r 9 all t pa/1 :i* he scrut9iz$ ) ! =ce ( ! mo/ subtle g5ius put to ! s]vice ( ! mo/ hone/ consci5ce1 _h he fail$ 9 ! ideal programme ( 8 y\? =mulat$ 9 ?is noble & mode/ device3 8,to say :at he ?\ght1 to say only :at he ?\ght40 8,?is is duty1 = ^? :o believe 9 duty10 said he1 8& ,i h fulfill$ x40 ,! night aft] ?is c\rage\s m$itation1 ?is great1 hone/ man slept at la/ & ) a sleep t ! remembrance ( ,rob]t ,greslon did n tr\ble4 ,on awak+1 ,adri5 ,sixte 0 /ill calm4 ,he 0 too well accu/om$ to /udy himself n to seek = a cause = ?is fac+ ab\t ( 8 impressions1 & too s9c]e n to recognize ! reason4 ,?is mom5t>y lull ( remorse mu/ arise f ! simple fact ( hav+ admitt$ z true "s ideas ^u ! moral life :i* 8 reason condemn$4 8,!re are !n b5efic5t ideas1 & malevol5t ideas10 he conclud$4 8,b :at8 ,does ! malevol5ce ( an idea prove its falsity8 ,let u suppose t ! dea? ( ,*>lotte be conceal$ f ! ,m>quis de ,jussat1 he is quiet$ by ! idea t 8 daught] is liv+4 ,! idea w\ld be salut>y to him4 ,w\ld x be true = t reason8 ,& inv]sely40 ,adri5 ,sixte _h always consid]$ z a sophism1 z c[>dly1 ! argum5t direct$ by c]ta9 spirituali/ic philosoph]s aga9/ ! fatal consequ5ces ( new doctr9es1 & g5]aliz+ ! problem1 he said aga93 8,z is ! m9d s is ! doctr9e4 ,! pro( ( x is t ,rob]t ,greslon has trans=m$ religi\s practices into an in/rum5t ( 8 own p]v]sity40 ,he aga9 took up ! memoir to f9d ! pages consecrat$ by ! accus$ to 8 s5tim5ts = ! *ur*1 !n he became aga9 fasc9at$ & r]ead ?is long piece ( analysis1 b giv+ p>ticul> att5tion ?is "t to ea* passage 9 :i* 8 own "n1 8 !ories1 8 works 7 m5tion$4 ,he appli$ all ! /r5g? ( 8 m9d to prove to himself t e phrase cit$ by ,greslon _h be5 ju/ifi$ by acts absolutely contr>y to ^? :i* ! morbid "y man _h ju/ifi$ by !m4 ,?is rep]usal1 att5tive & m9ute1 _h ! effect ( ?r[+ him into a new attack ( 8 tr\ble4 ,) 8 magnific5t s9c]ity1 ! philosoph] recogniz$ t ! "* ( ,rob]t ,greslon1 dang]\s by nature1 _h met 9 8 doctr9es1 z x 71 a l& :]e 7 develop$ 8 wor/ in/9cts1 & t ,adri5 ,sixte f\nd himself radically p[]less to respond to ! supreme appeal made to him by 8 disciple f ! dep?s ( 8 dungeon4 ,( all ! memoir1 ! la/ l9es t\*$ ! deepe/ *ord4 ,al?\gh ! ^w debt _h n be5 pron\nc$1 he felt t ?is un=tunate _h a claim on him4 ,greslon said truly3 a ma/] is unit$ to ! m9d t he has direct$1 ev5 if he has n will$ ?is direction1 ev5 if ?is m9d has n rightly int]pret$ ! tea*+1 by a sort ( my/ic cord1 & "o :i* does n p]mit ( ca/+ x to c]ta9 moral agony ) ! indiff]5t ge/ure ( ,pontius ,pilate4 ,"h 0 a second crisis1 m cruel p]haps ?an ! fir/4 ,:5 he _h be5 fully impress$ by ! ravages produc$ by 8 works1 ! savant became panic-/rick54 ,n[ t he 0 calm1 he measur$1 ) frightful precision ! p[]lessness ( 8 psy*ology1 h[ev] le>n$ x might be1 to h&le ! /range me*anism ( ! human s\l4 ,h[ _m times he began lett]s to ,rob]t ,greslon :i* he 0 unable to f9i%6 ,:at c\ld he say to ?is mis]able *ild8 ,mu/ he accept ! inevitable 9 ! int]nal z well z 9 ! ext]nal _w--accept 8 m9d z "o accepts 8 body8 ,yes1 0 ! result ( all 8 philosophy4 ,b 9 ?is inevitable !re 0 ! mo/ hide\s corruption 9 ! pa/ & 9 ! pres5t4 ,to advise ?is man to accept himself1 ) all ! pr(ligacy ( su* a nature1 0 to make himself an accomplice 9 ?is pr(ligacy4 ,b to blame him8 ,9 ! "n ( :at pr9ciple _h he done x1 aft] hav+ pr(ess$ t virtue & vice are additions1 good & evil1 social labels )\t value2 f9ally t ev]y?+ is ( necessity 9 ea* detail ( our be+ z well z 9 ! :ole ( ! univ]se4 ,:at c\nsel c\ld he give him = ! future8 ,by :at c\nsel prev5t ?is bra9 ( tw5ty-two ye>s f be+ ravag$ by pride & s5suality1 by unheal?y curiosity & deprav+ p>adoxes8 ,w\ld "o prove to a vip]1 if x c\ld compreh5d reason+1 t x ought n to secrete v5om8 8,:y am ,i a vip]80 x w\ld respond4 ,seek+ to /ate 8 ?\ght ) precision1 ,adri5 ,sixte comp>$ ! m5tal me*anism tak5 to pieces by ,rob]t ,greslon1 ) ! wat*es :i* he _h se5 9 8 fa!r's e/abli%m5t4 ,a spr+ goes1 a movem5t foll[s1 !n ano!r1 & ano!r4 ,! h&s move4 ,if a s+le "p 7 t\*$ ! :ole w\ld /op4 ,to *ange any?+ 9 ! m9d w\ld be to /op life4 ,ah6 ,if ! me*anism c\ld only modify its own :eels & _! movem5t6 ,b if ! wat*mak] take ! wat* to pieces & make x ov] aga96 ,!re are p]sons :o turn f ! evil to ! good1 :o fall & rise aga91 :o are ca/ d[n & are aga9 built up 9 _! morality4 ,yes1 b !re is ! fallacy ( rep5tance :i* presupposes ! delusion ( lib]ty & ( a judge1 ( a ,heav5ly ,fa!r4 ,c\ld he1 ,adri5 ,sixte1 write to ?is "y man3 8,rep5t2 cease to believe t :i* ,i h %[n y to be true80 ,& yet x 0 frightful to see a s\l die )\t try+ to d some?+ to save x4 ,at ?is po9t ( 8 m$itation ! ?9k] 0 br\ght to a /& by ! insoluble problem ( ! unexpla9$ life ( ! s\l1 z desp]ate = ! psy*ologi/ z is ! unexpla9$ life ( ! body = ! physiologi/4 ,! au?or ( ! book ^u ,god & :o _h writt5 ?is s5t5ce3 8,!re is no my/]y2 !re are only ignorances10 refus$ ! contemplation ( ! beyond1 :i*1 %[+ an abyss beh9d all reality1 leads sci5ce to b[ be=e ! enigma & say3 8,i d n "k1 ,i %all nev] "k10 & :i* p]mits religion to int]pose4 ,he felt 8 incapacity = do+ any?+ = ?is "y s\l 9 di/ress1 & :o _h ne$ ( sup]natural aid4 ,b to only speak ( su* a =mula1 ) 8 ideas1 0 z fooli% z to talk ( squ>+ ! circle1 or ( giv+ ?ree "r angles to a triangle4 ,a v simple ev5t r5d]$ ?is /ruggle m tragic by impos+ ! necessity = imm$iate action4 ,an anonym\s h& s5t him a pap] :i* conta9$ an article ( extreme viol5ce aga9/ himself & 8 influ5ce 9 reg>d to ,rob]t ,greslon4 ,! writ]1 evid5tly inspir$ by "s relation or "s fri5d ( ! ,jussats1 br&$ mod]n philosophy & its doctr9es1 inc>nat$ 9 ,adri5 ,sixte & 9 sev]al o!r savants4 ,!n he call$ up an example4 ,9 a f9al p>agraph1 improvis$ 9 ! mod]n /yle1 ) ! realism ( imag]y :i* is ! rhetoric ( to-day1 z ! poesy ( ! metaphor 0 t ( ! pa/1 he %[$ ! assass9 ( ,mlle4 de ,jussat m\nt+ ! scaffold1 & a :ole g5]ation ( "y decad5ts cur$ ( _! pessimism by ?is example4 ,9 any o!r circum/ances ! great psy*ologi/ w\ld h smil$ at ?is decl>ation4 ,he w\ld h ?\ght t ! envoi came f 8 enemy ,dum\l91 & resum$ 8 "w ) ! tranquillity ( ,ar*im$es trac+ 8 geometrical figures on ! s& dur+ ! sack ( ! city4 ,b 9 read+ ?is *ronicle1 scribbl$ )\t d\bt on ! corn] ( a table 9 ! ,tortoni caf by a morali/ ( ! b\lev>d1 he p]ceiv$ "o fact ( :i* he _h n ?\ght1 s mu* _h ! folly ( ab/raction )drawn him f ! social _w3 t ?is moral drama 0 becom+ a real drama4 ,9 a few weeks1 p]haps 9 a few days1 he ( ^: innoc5ce he held ! pro(1 w\ld be judg$4 ,n[1 accord+ to ! ju/ice ( m51 ! suppos$ assass9 ( ,mlle4 de ,jussat 0 innoc5t2 & if ?is memoir did n con/itute a decisive pro(1 x (f]$ an indisputable "* ( v]acity :i* 0 suffici5t to save a life4 ,w\ld he all[ ?is head to fall1 he1 ! confidant ( ! mis]y1 ! %ame1 ! p]fidy ( ! "y man1 b :o also knew t ?is intellectual sc\ndrel 0 n an actual murd]]8 ,)\t d\bt he 0 b\nd by ! tacit engagem5t contract$ 9 op5+ ! manuscript2 b 0 ?is engagem5t valid 9 ! pres5ce ( dea?8 ,!re 01 9 ?is solit>y be+ assail$ = a mon? by moral torm5t1 su* a ne$ ( escap+ f ! ineffectual & /]ile corrosion ( 8 ?\ghts by a positive volition1 t he felt x a relief :5 he _h at la/ decid$ on a "p4 ,f o!r j\rnals :i* he anxi\sly consult$1 he le>n$ t ! ,greslon case w\ld come be=e ! assizes ( ,riom1 on ,friday1 ,m>* #aa?4 ,on ! #aj? he gave ,m>iette ! ord] to prep>e 8 valise1 & ! same ev5+ he took ! tra9 aft] po/+ a lett] address$ to ,m4 ! ,c\nt ,&r de ,jussat1 ,capta9 ( ,dragoons 9 g>rison at ,lunville4 ,?is lett]1 n sign$1 simply conta9$ ! l9es3 8,monsieur1 ,c\nt de ,jussat has 9 8 h&s a lett] f 8 si/] :i* conta9s ! pro( ( ! innoc5ce ( ,rob]t ,greslon4 ,w he p]mit an innoc5t man to be condemn$80 ,! nihili/ic psy*ologi/ _h n be5 able to write ! words "r & duty4 ,b 8 resolution 0 tak54 ,he w\ld wait until ! trial 0 end$1 & if ,m4 de ,jussat 7 /ill sil5t1 if ,greslon 7 condemn$1 he w\ld place ! memoir 9 ! h&s ( ! presid5t4 8,he took 8 ticket = ,riom10 said ,mlle4 ,trap5>d to ,fa!r ,c>bonnet on return+ f ! /ation :i!r %e _h accompani$ h] ma/]1 almo/ 9 spite ( himself1 8b ! idea ( 8 go+ away (f !re1 alone1 & 9 ?is cold1 :5 he is s com=table "h60 8,be easy1 ,mlle4 ,m>iette10 said ! a/ute port]4 8,we %all "k all "s day4 ,b no?+ w make me ?9k t !re is n an illegitimate son 9 x some:]e40 ,,vi4 ,,c\nt ,,&r4 ,,at ! mom5t :5 ! note :i* _h be5 put into ! box by ,adri5 ,sixte arriv$ at ,lunville1 ,c\nt ,&r 0 himself at ,riom4 ,*ance will$ t ^! two m5 %\ld n meet1 = ! celebrat$ writ]1 on leav+ ! tra91 took 8 place at a v5ture 9 ! omnibus = ! ,htel du ,comm]ce1 :ile ! c\nt _h 8 ap>tm5t at ! ,htel de l',univ]s4 ,!re 9 a p>lor furni%$ ) old furniture1 hung ) a fad$ pap]1 ) worn curta9s & a pat*$ c>pet1 & on ! morn+ ( ?is ,friday1 ,m>* #aa1 #ahhg1 on :i* ! ,greslon trial op5$1 ! bro!r ( poor ,*>lotte 0 walk+ up & d[n4 ,noon 0 ab\t to /rike f ! clock ( ornam5t$ copp]1 :i* decorat$ ! *imney-piece4 ,outside1 ! sky 0 cov]$ ) cl\ds1 "o ( ^? ,auv]gne skies :i* br+s ! icy w9d ( ! m\nta9s4 ,! c\nt's ord]ly1 a dragoon ) a jovial physiognomy1 _h br\ght a little milit>y ord] into ?is salon1 &1 aft] hav+ w\nd ! clock /irr$ up ! fire he began to set ! table = two4 ,f "t to "t he wat*$ 8 capta91 :o1 /rok+ 8 mu/a*e ) "o h&1 bit+ 8 lips1 wr9kl+ 8 br[1 wore ! expression ( ! mo/ pa9ful anxiety4 ,b ,joseph ,p\rat1 ?is 0 ! ord]ly's "n1 simply ?\ght t ! c\nt 0 sc>cely ma/] ( himself1 :ile !y 7 try+ ! assass9 ( 8 si/]4 ,= him1 z = all :o 7 9 any way connect$ ) ! ,jussat-,r&ons & :o _h kn[n ,*>lotte1 !re 0 no d\bt ( ,rob]t ,greslon's guilt4 ,:at ! fai?ful soldi] less und]/ood1 kn[+ ! en]gy ( 8 (fic]1 0 t he _h all[$ ! old m>quis to g to ! trial alone4 8,t w d v well10 said ! c\nt1 & ,p\rat1 :o plac$ ! plates & =ks aft] hav+ wip$ !m1 a necess>y prelim9>y1 ?\ght 9 pres5ce ( ! visible agony ( 8 ma/]3 8,he has a good he>t all ! same1 if he is a little brusque4 ,h[ mu* he lov$ h]60 ,&r de ,jussat did n seem to ev5 suspect !re 0 any "o 9 ! room beside himself4 ,8 br[n eyes close to 8 nose1 :i* _h a/oni%$1 almo/ di/urb$ ,rob]t ,greslon1 by _! resemblance to ^? ( a bird ( prey1 no long] %ot =? t pr\d look :i* goes /raight to an object1 & takes hold ( x4 ,no1 !re 0 a species ( %r9k+ back1 almo/ a %ame1 l a fe> ( %[+ 8 inmo/ suff]+4 ,!y 7 ! eyes ( a man :om a fix$ idea possesses & :om ! /+ ( an intol]able pa9 con/antly t\*es 9 ! mo/ s5sitive "p ( 8 s\l4 ,?is pa9 dat$ f ! day on :i* he _h receiv$ 8 si/]'s lett] reveal+ h] t]rible project ( suicide4 ,a dispat* _h arriv$ almo/ at ! same mom5t1 ann\nc+ ! dea? ( ,*>lotte1 & he _h tak5 ! tra9 = ,auv]gne precipitately1 )\t kn[+ h[ to in=m 8 fa!r ( ! fe>ful tru?1 b decid$ to h a j rev5ge on ,greslon4 ,& ! m>quis _h receiv$ him ) ^! words3 8,y receiv$ my dispat*8 ,we h ! assass940 ,! c\nt _h said no?+1 compreh5d+ t !re mu/ be a misund]/&+2 & ! m>quis _h /at$ ! suspicions aga9/ ! preceptor1 also ! fact t he _h j be5 arre/$4 ,imm$iately ?is idea impos$ itself ^u ! bro!r1 :o 0 mad ) grief1 t de/9y (f]$ him ?is v5geance1 ! only object ( 8 ?\ght s9ce he _h read ! confession ( ! dead & ! detail ( h] mis]y1 ( h] errors1 h] resi/ances h] atroci\s deception1 ( h] fatal resolution4 ,he _h only n to hide ! lett]1 & ! c[>dly moral assass9 ( ! "y girl w\ld be accus$1 imprison$1 no d\bt condemn$4 ,! honor ( ,*>lotte w\ld be sav$1 = ,rob]t ,greslon c\ld n prove 8 relations ) ! girl4 ,! m>quis & ! m>quise1 ! fa!r & ! "m1 s confid+ s p5etrat$ by ! true/ love = ! memory ( _! poor *ild1 w\ld at lea/ be ignorant ( ! fault ( ?is de> "o :i* w\ld be to !m a new despair great] ?an ! girl's tragic dea?4 ,& ,c\nt ,&r 0 sil5t4 ,n1 h[ev]1 )\t a viol5t ef=t ov] himself4 ,?is c\rage\s man :o possess$ by nature & by w ! true virtues ( a soldi]1 dete/$ p]fidy1 compromises ( consci5ce1 all exp$i5ts & all da/>dl9ess4 ,he _h felt t x 0 8 duty to speak1 n to all[ an innoc5t p]son to be accus$4 ,he _h 9 va9 said to himself t ?is ,greslon 0 ! moral assass9 ( ,*>lotte1 & t ?is assass9ation m]it$ a puni%m5t z well z ! o!r2 ?is sophism ( 8 hate _h n q controll$ ! o!r voice1 t :i* =bids u to become accomplices 9 an iniquity1 & ! condemnation ( ,greslon z a poison] 0 c]ta9ly iniquit\s4 ,an unexpect$ & to him an almo/ mon/r\s circum/ance _h completely ov]:elm$ ,&r de ,jussat2 ! sil5ce ( ! accus$4 ,if ,greslon _h spok51 rec\nt$ 8 am\rs1 def5d+ 8 life at ! price ( ! honor ( 8 victim1 ! c\nt c\ld n h despis$ him en\gh4 ,by a contra/ ( "* :i* mu/ appe> /ill m inexplicable to a simple m9d1 ?is infam\s man sudd5ly display$ ! g5]osity ( a g5tleman 9 n speak+ a ^w :i* c\ld soil ! memory ( "o :om he _h drawn into s dete/able an ambuscade4 ,?is sc\ndrel 0 brave 9 ! pres5ce ( ju/ice1 almo/ h]oic 9 8 way4 ,9 any case he ceas$ to be wor?y ( disgu/ only4 ,&r said to himself t ?is might be ! tactics ( ! c\rt ( assizes1 a proce$+ to obta9 an acquittal 9 ! abs5ce ( pro(s4 ,b1 on ! o!r h&1 he knew by ! lett] ( 8 si/] ( ! exi/5ce ( ! j\rnal 9 :i* ! details ( ! sci5tific exp]im5t _h be5 consign$ h\r by h\r4 ,?is j\rnal s+ul>ly dim9i%$ ! *ances ( conviction1 & ,greslon did n produce x4 ,! (fic] c\ld n h expla9$ :y ?is dignity ( attitude on ! "p ( 8 enemy s ang]$ him1 t he _h a frantic desire to ru% to ! magi/rate1 9 ord] t ! tru? might be br\ght to light1 & ! dead %\ld owe no?+1 n an atom ( h] po/hum\s honor to ?is sc\ndrel :o _h won h] love4 ,:5 he ?\ght ( 8 si/]1 ! sweet creature :om he _h lov$1 ) s virile & noble an affection1 t ( an eld] bro!r = a frail ref9$ *ild1 9 ! possession ( ?is cl[n1 ?is *ance preceptor1 him :o _h inflict$ on 8 race an outrage s abject he c\ld h ro>$ ) fury1 z :51 dur+ ! w>1 x _h be5 necess>y to assi/ at ! capitulation ( ,metz & to give up 8 arms4 ,he felt !n a solace 9 ?9k+ t ! b5* ( infamy on :i* 7 seat$ burgl>s1 sw9dl]s1 & murd]]s 0 wait+ = ?is man1 & !n ! scaffold or ! galleys4 ,& he /ifl$ ! voice :i* said3 8,y ought to speak40 ,my ,god6 :at agony = him 9 ^! ?ree mon?s1 dur+ :i* !re _h n be5 five m9utes 9 :i* he _h n /ruggl$ aga9/ ^! contradictory s5tim5ts4 ,on ! field ( drill1 = he _h return$ to s]vice2 on horseback1 gallop+ ov] ! roads ( ,lorra9e2 9 8 room ?9k+1 ov] ?is "q3 8,:at 0 he to d80 ,weeks _h pass$ )\t any answ]1 b ! mom5t _h come :5 x 0 necess>y to act & to decide1 = 9 two days--! trial mu/ occupy f\r sessions--,greslon w\ld be judg$ & condemn$4 ,!re w\ld be /ill "s "t aft] ! conviction2 b :at ( x6 ,! same debate w\ld only h to be gone ov] aga94 ,he _h n decid$ to be sil5t until ! la/4 ,he refra9$ f speak+1 b he _h n v[$ to himself t he w\ld refra9 f speak+4 ,?is 0 ! reason x _h be5 physically impossible = him to accompany 8 fa!r to ! ,palais de ,ju/ice dur+ ?is fir/ session1 ( :i* he %\ld soon he> ! acc\nt1 z twelve 0 /rik+1 twelve v h>% /rokes foll[$ by a c>illon 9 ! /eeple ( a neighbor+ *ur*4 8,my capta91 "h is ,m4 ! ,m>quis10 said ! ord]ly1 :o _h he>d ! roll+ ( a c>riage1 !n its /op be=e ! hotel1 aft] :i* he took a look out ( ! w9d[4 8,ah1 well1 my fa!r80 ask$ ,&r anxi\sly z soon z ! m>quis _h ent]$4 8,ah1 well6 ! jury is = u10 respond$ ,m4 de ,jussat4 ,he 0 no long] ! brok5 d[n monomaniac :om ,greslon _h s bitt]ly mock$ 9 8 memoir4 ,8 eyes 7 brilliant & !re 0 y\? 9 8 voice & ge/ures4 ,! passion = v5geance1 in/ead ( break+ him d[n1 su/a9$ him4 ,he _h =gott5 8 hypo*ondria1 & 8 spee* 0 quick1 impetu\s1 & cle>4 8,!y 7 drawn ?is morn+4 ,among ! twelve jurors1 !re are ?ree f>m]s1 two retir$ (fic]s1 a physician1 two %opkeep]s1 two proprietors1 a manufactur]1 & a pr(essor1 all good m51 m5 ( family1 & :o w\ld wi% to make an example4 ,! procureur-gnral is sure ( a conviction4 ,ah6 ! sc\ndrel6 b ,i 0 happy1 ! only "t 9 ?ree mon?s1 :5 ,i saw him betwe5 two g5d>mes6 ,b :at audacity6 ,he look$ ar\nd ! hall4 ,i 0 on ! fir/ b5*4 ,he saw me4 ,w\ld y believe x1 he did n turn away 8 eyes8 ,he look$ at me fix$ly z if he wi%$ to brave me4 ,ah6 we mu/ h 8 head1 & we w h x40 ,! old man _h spok5 ) a savage acc5t & he _h n notic$ ! pa9ful expression t 8 words _h br\ght to ! face ( ! c\nt4 ,?is la/1 at ! picture ( 8 enemy1 ?us conqu]$ by public =ce1 seiz$ by ! g5d>mes1 z if caught 9 ! ge> ( t anonym\s & inv9cible ma*9e ( ju/ice1 trembl$ ) a *ill ( %ame1 ! %ame ( a man :o has employ$ bravos 9 a "w ( dea?4 ,^! g5d>mes1 & ^! magi/rates1 7 really ! bravos employ$ 9 do+ :at he w\ld s mu* h lik$ to d himself1 ) 8 own h&s & ^u 8 own responsibility4 ,decid$ly1 x 0 c[>dly n to h spok54 ,!n ! look ?r[n by ,greslon at ! ,m>quis de ,jussat1 :at did x mean8 ,did he "k t ,*>lotte _h writt5 h] lett] ( confession ! ev5+ be=e h] suicide8 ,& if he knew x1 :at did he ?9k8 ,! idea alone t ?is "y man c\ld suspect ! tru? & despise !m = _! sil5ce light$ a fev] 9 ! blood ( ! c\nt4 8,no10 said he to himself :5 ! m>quis _h gone back = ! aft]noon session aft] a d9n] eat5 9 ha/e1 8,i _c keep sil5t4 ,i w speak1 or ,i w write40 ,he seat$ himself & began to trace me*anically ^! words at ! head ( a %eet3 8,monsieur ! ,presid5t30 ,! night fell :ile ?is unhappy man 0 /ill 9 ! same place1 8 br[ 9 8 h&1 & n hav+ writt5 ! fir/ l9e ( ?is lett]4 ,he wait$ = ! news ( ! second session1 & x 0 ) a %ock t he he>d 8 fa!r rec\nt ! details ( x4 8,ah6 my de> ,&r6 ,y 7 "r n to come6 ,:at infamy6 ,ah6 :at infamy6 ,greslon 0 que/ion$4 ,he cont9ues 8 sy/em & refuses to say any?+4 ,t is no?+4 ,! exp]ts report$ ! results ( _! analyses4 ,our good doctor fir/4 ,8 voice trembl$1 ! de> man1 :5 he describ$ 8 impression at see+ our poor ,*>lotte1 y "k1 9 h] room4 ,& !n ,pr(essor ,arm&2 y c\ld n h endur$ ?is horrible ?+1 ?is autopsy ( our angel 9 t room 9 :i* !re 7 c]ta9ly five hundr$ p]sons4 ,& !n ! ,p>is *emi/4 ,if !re c\ld be any d\bt aft] t6 ,! bottle :i* t mon/] us$1 0 on ! table4 ,i saw x4 ,& !n--h[ did he d>e8 ,8 lawy]1 an (ficial advocate1 h[ev]1 & :o has n ev5 ! excuse ( be+ ! fri5d ( 8 cli5t4 ,8 advocate4 ,b h[ %all ,i tell y8 ,he ask$ if ,*>lotte _h _h a lov]4 ,!re 0 a murmur ( disgu/ 9 ! hall1 ( indignation f ev]ybody4 ,%e1 my *ild1 s pure1 s noble1 a sa9t6 ,i c\ld h *ok$ ! man4 ,ev5 ! assass9 0 mov$1 he :om no?+ t\*es4 ,i saw him4 ,at t mom5t he put 8 head 9 8 h&s & wept4 ,answ]1 ought x n to be =bidd5 by law1 to speak 9 t way ( a victim 9 op5 c\rt8 ,:at did ?is rogue believe !n1 t %e _h a lov]8 ,a lov]6 ,%e a lov]60 ,! old man's indignation 0 s /rong t he sudd5ly bur/ into te>s4 ,! son1 9 pres5ce ( ?is t\*+ grief felt 8 he>t melt & ! te>s fill 8 eyes1 & ! two m5 embrac$ "o ano!r )\t a ^w4 8,y see10 resum$ ! fa!r :5 he 0 able to speak1 8?is is ! dreadful side ( ^! trials1 ! public discussion ( ! mo/ private matt]s4 ,i h told y be=e t ,i 0 sure %e 0 unhappy all w9t] because ,maxime 0 abs5t4 ,%e lov$ him1 b 0 n will+ t x %\ld be se54 ,x 0 ?is t ar\s$ ,greslon's jeal\sy :5 he came to ! h\se & f\nd h] s graci\s1 s unpret5ti\s1 he believ$ t he c\ld w9 h]4 ,h[ c\ld %e h suspect$ su* a ?+1 :5 ,i :o h _h s mu* exp]i5ce ( m51 nev] saw or guess$ any ?+80 ,once />t$ on ?is subject ! m>quis talk$ all ?r\gh ! d9n]1 !n dur+ ! :ole ev5+4 ,he enjoy$ ! consolation1 ! only "o possible 9 c]ta9 crises1 ( recollect+ al\d4 ,& ! religi\s wor%ip :i* ! unhappy fa!r pres]v$ = ! dead 0 = ! son1 :o li/5$ )\t respond+1 some?+ tragical at ?is mom5t :5 he 0 prep>+ to d :at8 ,0 he really ab\t to br+ ?is t]rible bl[ on ! old man8 ,9 8 own room1 ) ! great sil5ce ( a prov9cial city ar\nd him1 he took up 8 si/]'s lett] & read x aga91 al?\gh he knew by he>t e phrase 9 x4 ,!re arose f ^! pages trac$ by ! h& =ev] /ill1 a sigh s pr(\nd1 a brea? ( agony s sad & s he>tr5d+6 ,! illusion ( ! girl _h be5 s mad1 h] /ruggles s s9c]e1 h] awak5+ s bitt]1 t ! c\nt felt aga9 ! te>s fl[ d[n 8 *eeks4 ,?is 0 ! second "t t he _h wept t day1 he :o1 s9ce ! dea? ( ,*>lotte1 _h kept 8 eyes dry & burn+ ) hate4 ,he said3 8,greslon has des]v$--0 ,he rema9$ motionless "s m9utes1 &1 walk+ t[>d ! *imney 9 :i* ! fire 0 j ext+ui%$1 he plac$ on ! half-consum$ log ! leaves ( ! lett]4 ,he /ruck a mat* & slipp$ x "u ! pap]4 ,he saw ! l9e ( flame develop all ar\nd1 !n aga9 ! frail writ+1 !n trans=m ?is only pro( ( ! mis]able am\r & suicide into a blacki% mass4 ,! bro!r f9i%$ by mix+ ?is debris ) ! a%es4 ,he lay d[n say+ al\d3 8,x is done10 & he slept1 z on ! night aft] 8 fir/ battle1 ! exhau/$ sleep :i* succe$s ) m5 ( action1 great exp5diture ( w1 & he did n op5 8 eyes until n9e o'clock ! next day4 8,monsieur1 ! m>quis =bade me to wake y10 said ,p\rat :51 call$ by 8 ma/]1 he op5$ ! %utt]s4 ,! sunlight ent]$1 ! bright sunlight in/ead ( ! sad & l[]+ sky ( ! ev5+ be=e4 8,he has be5 gone an h\r4 ,my capta9 kn[s t to-day !y are go+ to take ! accus$ by ! subt]ranean passage1 ev]ybody is s excit$ aga9/ him40 8,:at subt]ranean passage80 ask$ ,&r4 8,t "o :i* goes f ! jail to ! ,palais de ,ju/ice4 ,!y use x = great crim9als1 ^? :o might be torn to pieces by ! public4 ,fai?1 capta91 if ,i saw t fell[ g by1 ,i believe ,i %\ld feel l knock+ him ov] on ! spot4 ,^? enrag$ dogs d n judge1 !y kill4 ,b10 he cont9u$1 8,i h =gott5 ! morn+'s lett]s 9 ! salon40 ,he return$ 9 a m9ute1 hav+ 9 8 h& ?ree envelopes4 ,&r1 :o ?rew a glance at ! fir/ two1 saw at once f :om !y came4 ,! ?ird 0 9 an unkn[n h&4 ,x _h be5 address$ to ,lunville1 f ,p>is1 !n s5t on to ,riom4 ,! c\nt op5$ x1 & read ! ?ree l9es :i* ,sixte _h writt5 be=e tak+ ! tra9 = ,riom4 ,! h&s ( ?is brave (fic] :o did n "k ! mean+ ( ! ^w fe>1 began to tremble4 ,he became z pale z ! pap] :i* he held 9 8 trembl+ h&s1 s pale t ,p\rat said to him ) fe>3 8,my capta9 is ill40 8,leave me10 said ! c\nt brusquely4 8,i w dress myself alone40 ,he _h ne$ to recov] f ! sudd5 bl[ :i* _h j /ruck him4 ,!re 0 "s "o 9 ! _w :o knew ! t]rible secret1 "s "o :o knew ! my/]y ( ,*>lotte's dea? & :o 0 n ,rob]t ,greslon1 = he _h se5 "s ( ! "y man's writ+ & ?is 0 q unlike x4 ,?is 0 a %ock ( t]ror su* z ! mo/ c\rage\s might feel be=e a fact s absolutely unexpect$ t x takes on a sup]natural "*4 ,if ! bro!r ( ,*>lotte _h se5 8 si/]1 alive !re be=e him1 he c\ld n h be5 m pro/rat$ ) a/oni%m5t4 ,"s "o knew ( ! suicide ( ! "y girl1 & ( ! lett] writt5 by h] be=e h] dea?1 & possibly all ! re/4 ,& ?is "s "o1 ?is my/]i\s witness ( ! tru?1 :at did he ?9k ( him8 ,! "q ) :i* ! note end$ told pla9ly en\gh4 ,sudd5ly ! c\nt rememb]$ :at he _h d>$ to d4 ,he rememb]$ ! lett] ?r[n into ! fire1 & ! purple ( %ame ru%$ to 8 *eeks4 ,! resolution1 tak5 ! ev5+ be=e1 c\ld n be kept4 ,t any man %\ld h ! "r to say3 8,! ,c\nt de ,jussat has committ$ a c[>dly act10 0 m ?an ?is g5tleman s pr\d ( 8 honor1 0 able to endure4 ,! tr\ble ( ! night be=e1 t he _h believ$ end$1 reviv$1 & 0 r5d]$ m intol]able by ! return ( 8 fa!r :o said3 8,!y h he>d all ! witnesses4 ,i h depos$4 ,b :at 0 v h>d 0 to f9d myself 9 ! small hall ) ,greslon's "m4 ,x is a *ance if %e does n come d[n "h4 ,%e is at ! ,htel du ,comm]ce1 :]e %e has begg$ me to come to talk ) h]4 ,ah6 :at a sc5e6 ,%e has a face n to be =gott51 a sev]e face1 ) black eyes :i* h1 z x 71 a fire 9 _! te>s4 ,%e walk$ up to me & spoke to me4 ,%e adjur$ me to say t h] son 0 innoc5t1 t ,i knew x1 t ,i _h no "r to depose aga9/ him4 ,yes1 x 0 a t]rible sc5e1 & ! g5d>me int]rupt$ x4 ,! unhappy woman6 ,i _c feel h>d t[>d h]4 ,he is h] son4 ,:at a /range ?+ t a rascal l him c /ill h 9 ! _w a he>t t loves him1 ev5 z ,i lov$ ,*>lotte1 z ,i love y6 ,alas60 cont9u$ ! old man4 8,x is "o o'clock4 ,! attorney-g5]al is go+ to speak4 ,!n ! def5se4 ,betwe5 five & six o'clock we %all h ! v]dict4 ,ah1 b t w satisfy ! he>t to see him :5 ! s5t5ce is pron\nc$6 ,x is only j4 ,he has committ$ murd]4 ,he ought to die40 ,:5 ! c\nt 0 aga9 alone1 he began to walk up & d[n1 z ! ev5+ be=e1 :ile ,p\rat ) ! valet ( ,m4 de ,jussat1 cle>$ away ! table4 ,^! two m5 h s9ce decl>$ t _! ma/] _h nev] seem$ s viol5tly uneasy1 z dur+ ! ?irty m9utes t !y 7 busy 9 ! room4 ,_! a/oni%m5t 0 v great :5 he ask$ to h 8 uni=m got ready4 ,9 a qu>t] ( an h\r he 0 dress$ & left ! hotel4 ,"o detail made ! brave ,p\rat %iv]4 ,he /at$ t ! (fic] took 8 revolv] ) him :i* _h be5 plac$ = two nights on ! night/&4 ,! soldi] communicat$ 8 fe>s to 8 companion4 8,if ?is ,greslon is acquitt$10 said he1 8! capta9 is ! man to bl[ 8 bra9s out on ! spot40 8,we ought to foll[ him1 p]haps80 respond$ ! valet-de-*ambre4 ,:ile ! two s]vants 7 delib]at+1 ! c\nt foll[$ ! ma9 /reet :i* l$ to ! ,palais de ,ju/ice4 ,he knew x1 = he _h (t5 be5 to ,riom 9 8 *ildhood4 ,?is old p>liam5t>y city1 ) its l>ge hotels ) ! high w9d[s1 built 9 black ,volvic /one1 seem$ m empty1 m sil5t1 m dead ?an usual z ! bro!r ( ,*>lotte walk$ t[>d ! c\rt4 ,ne> ! approa*es to ,palais !re 0 a d5se cr[d :i* fill$ ! n>r[ ,rue ,sa9t-,l\is by :i* "o rea*es ! hall ( assize4 ,! ,greslon case _h attract$ all :o _h an h\r to sp>e4 ,&r c\ld sc>cely =ce 8 way ?r\gh ! mass ( p1 compos$ ( c\ntrym5 & small %opkeep]s :o 7 conv]s+ ) passionate animation4 ,he arriv$ at ! /eps :i* lead to ! ve/ibule4 ,two soldi]s gu>d$ ! door1 *>g$ to keep back ! cr[d4 ,! c\nt seem$ to hesitate1 !n1 in/ead ( ent]+1 he pu%$ on to ! end ( ! /reet4 ,he rea*$ a t]race1 :i*1 situat$ betwe5 ! s9i/] walls ( ! c5tral build+ & ! d>k mass ( ! ,palais1 gave a view ( ! imm5se pla9 ( ! ,limagne4 ,a f\nta9 *>m$ ! sil5ce ( ?is spot1 & ! s\nd ( its murmur+ c\ld be he>d ev5 above ! noise ( ! cr[d 9 ! neighbor+ /reet4 ,&r sat d[n on a b5* ne> ! f\nta94 ,he 0 nev] able to tell :y he rema9$ !re m ?an half an h\r1 nor ! exact reason :y he arose1 walk$ t[>d ! ,palais1 wrote 8 "n & "s words on a c>d1 & gave ?is c>d to a soldi] to be c>ri$ by ! bailiff to ! presid5t4 ,he _h ! v di/9ct feel+ t he mu/ act1 almo/ 9 spite ( himself1 & z 9 a dream4 ,8 resolution nev]!less 0 tak5 & he felt t he %\ld n weak5 aga91 al?\gh he appreh5d$ ) horrible angui% ! meet+ ) 8 fa!r1 :o 0 ov] !re1 beyond ^? p ^: heads 7 b5t =w>d1 _! %\ld]s curv$4 ,he felt 9 8 agony ! only solace he c\ld exp]i5ce :5 ! bailiff came = him4 ,=1 in/ead ( introduc+ him at once into ! hall1 ?is man l$ him ?r\gh a passage to a small room :i* 01 )\t d\bt1 ! (fice ( ! presid5t4 ,"s packets 7 ly+ on ! table4 ,an ov]coat & a hat hung on a peg4 ,arriv$ !re1 8 guide said to him3 8,monsieur ! presid5t w come to y z soon z ! attorney-g5]al has f9i%$40 ,:at unexpect$ consolation 9 8 pa96 ,! puni%m5t ( depos+ 9 public & be=e 8 fa!r w\ld be sp>$ him6 ,?is hope 0 ( %ort duration4 ,! (fic] _h n be5 t5 m9utes 9 ! (fice ( ! presid5t :5 ! latt] ent]$3 a l>ge old man1 ) a face yell[ f bile & ) gray hair1 :om ! contra/ ( 8 r$ robe made look gre5i%4 ,aft] ! fir/ words & be=e ! affirmation ( ! c\nt t he br\ght pro( ( ! innoc5ce ( ! accus$3 8,on ^! conditions1 monsieur10 said ! presid5t1 8,i _c receive y\r confid5ces4 ,! audi5ce is to be resum$ & y w be he>d z a witness1 provid$ nei!r ! prosecution nor ! def5se object40 ,?us none ( ! /ations t[>d 8 ,calv>y c\ld ! bro!r ( ,*>lotte avoid4 ,he 0 ab\t to come 9 contact ) ?is impassible ma*9]y ( ju/ice1 :i* does n /op1 :i* _c /op on acc\nt ( human s5sibility4 ,he mu/ seat himself 9 ! witness *amb]1 & recall ! sc5e :i* _h pass$ !re betwe5 8 fa!r & ! "m ( ,greslon1 !n ent] ! hall ( assize4 ,he c\ld see ! b>e wall ) ! image ( ! crucifi$ :i* ov]look$ ?is hall1 ! heads turn$ t[>d him 9 supreme att5tion1 ! presid5t among 8 judges1 & ! attorney-g5]al1 all 9 _! r$ robes2 ! jurors on ! left ( ! c\rt4 ,rob]t ,greslon 0 on ! "r on ! prison]'s b5*1 8 arms fold$1 livid b impassible1 & ev]ybody cr[d$ ev]y:]e1 beh9d ! magi/rates1 9 ! tribunes4 ,on ! witness b5* ,&r recogniz$ 8 fa!r & 8 :ite hairs4 ,ah6 h[ ?is sight cut him to ! he>t--! he>t :i* did n falt] h[ev]1 :5 ! presid5t1 aft] ask+ ! c\nsel & attorney-g5]al if !y did n object to he>+ ! witness1 ask$ him to /ate 8 "n & title & take oa? accord+ to ! =mula4 ,! magi/rates :o assi/$ at ?is sc5e are unanim\s 9 decl>+ t !y nev] exp]i5c$ an emotion 9 c\rt at all comp>able to t :i* seiz$ ! audi5ce & !mselves :5 ?is man1 ^: h]oic pa/ all 7 acqua9t$ ) ?r\gh ! articles publi%$ 9 ! j\rnals1 began 9 a firm voice1 b "o :i* betray$ excruciat+ grief3 8,g5tlem5 ( ! jury3 ,i h only a few words to say4 ,my si/] 0 n assass9at$1 %e kill$ h]self4 ,! night be=e h] dea? %e wrote me a lett] 9 :i* %e ann\nc$ h] resolution to die1 & :y4 ,g5tlem51 ,i believe t ,i _h ! "r to conceal ?is suicide1 ,i burn$ ?is lett]4 ,if ! man :om y h be=e y10 & he indicat$ ,greslon ) 8 left h&--8did n give ! poison1 he has done worse4 ,b ?is is n = y\r ju/ice to consid]1 & he ought n to be convict$ z an assass94 ,he is innoc5t4 ,9 default ( mat]ial pro( :i* ,i c no long] give1 ,i br+ y my ^w40 ,^! s5t5ces fell "o by "o1 amid ! angui% ( ! :ole audi5ce4 ,!re 0 a cry foll[$ by groans4 8,he is mad10 said a voice1 8he is mad1 d n li/5 to him40 8,no1 my ,fa!r10 repli$ ,c\nt ,&r1 :o recogniz$ ! voice ( ! m>quis1 & :o turn$ t[>d ! old man1 :o lay back1 cru%$1 on 8 b5*4 8,i am n mad4 ,i h done :at honor compell$4 ,i hope1 monsieur ! presid5t1 t ,i may be sp>$ f say+ any m40 ,!re 0 entreaty 9 8 voice1 ! voice ( ?is pr\d man1 z he utt]$ ?is la/ s5t5ce1 & x s affect$ ! he>]s t a murmur ran ?r\gh ! cr[d :5 ! presid5t repli$3 8,to my great regret1 monsieur1 ,i _c grant :at y ask4 ,! extreme importance ( ! deposition :i* y h j made does n p]mit ju/ice to re/ ^u ! in=mation :i* is our duty--a v pa9ful duty--to ask y to /ate precisely40 8,t is well1 monsieur1 ,i also w d my duty to ! end40 ,!re 0 9 ! acc5t ) :i* ! witness utt]$ ?is s5t5ce su* resolution t ! murmur ( ! cr[d gave way sudd5ly to sil5ce1 & ! presid5t 0 he>d say+3 8,y spoke ( a lett]1 monsieur1 :i* y\r si/] _h writt5 to y4 ,p]mit me to say t x is at lea/ extraord9>y t y\r fir/ idea 0 n to enlight5 ju/ice by communicat+ x at once40 8,x conta9$10 said ! c\nt1 8a secret :i* ,i w\ld h be5 will+ to conceal at ! price ( my blood40 ,he has s9ce told ! fri5d :o rema9$ s true to ! end ( ?is drama1 ,maxime de ,plane1 t ?is 0 ! mo/ t]rible mom5t ( 8 sacrifice--b 8 emotion 0 suppress$ by its v excess4 ,he 0 oblig$ to give all ! details ( ! lett]--& rec\nt 8 own s5sations1 & confess all 8 agonies4 ,z to :at foll[$1 he has decl>$ t he c\ld recall only a few mat]ial details--& ^? ! mo/ unexpect$--! coldness to 8 h& ( an iron column aga9/ :i* he 0 lean+ :5 he ought to h be5 sitt+ on ! witness b5* f :i* "s "o came to take him to 8 fa!r :o _h fa9t$ at ! la/ words ( 8 deposition4 ,he notic$ also ! drawl+ ,lorra9e acc5t ( ! procureur-gnral :o _h ris5 to ab&on ! prosecution4 ,h[ mu* "t elaps$ betwe5 ! spee*es ( ! procureur & ( ,greslon's c\nsel1 ! retir+ ( ! jury & its re-entrance ) a negative v]dict1 he nev] knew4 ,he has nev] kn[n h[ he employ$ 8 ev5+1 aft] ! doorkeep] _h invit$ him to leave4 ,he rememb]s to h walk$ a great di/ance4 ,"s citiz5s ( ,combronde met him on ! road to ?is village4 ,he w5t to an inn :]e he wrote "s lett]s1 address$1 "o to 8 fa!r1 "o to 8 "m & a ?ird to 8 colonel1 & a la/ to ,maxime de ,plane4 ,at n9e o'clock he knock$ at ! door ( ! ,htel du ,comm]ce1 :]e 8 fa!r _h told him ! "m ( ,greslon _h gone1 & he ask$ ! conci]ge if ,m4 ,greslon 0 !re4 ,?is fell[ _h he>d ( ! dramatic sc5e4 ,he guess$ f ! uni=m ( ! capta9 :o he 01 & _h ! good s5se to reply t ,m4 ,rob]t ,greslon _h n appe>$4 ,un=tunately he ?\ght x "r to in=m ! "y man1 :o 0 at t mom5t ) 8 "m & ,m4 ,adri5 ,sixte4 ,?is la/ c\ld n resi/ ! supplications ( ! wid[ :o1 hav+ met him 9 ! corridor ( ! hotel1 _h conjur$ him to aid h] 9 com=t+ h] son4 8,monsieur10 said ! conci]ge to ,rob]t aft] hav+ ask$ p]mission to speak to him ap>t1 8be c>eful1 ,m4 de ,jussat is look+ = y40 8,:]e is he80 ask$ ,greslon fev]i%ly4 8,he _c h left ! /reet10 respond$ ! conci]ge1 8b ,i told him t y 7 n "h40 8,y did wrong10 repli$ ,greslon4 ,& tak+ 8 hat1 he ru%$ t[>d ! /airs4 8,:]e are y go+80 implor$ 8 "m4 ,! "y man did n answ]4 ,p]haps he did n ev5 he> ?is cry1 he 0 9 su* ha/e to g d[n ! /airs4 ,! idea t ,c\nt ,&r believ$ him c[>dly en\gh to hide himself madd5$ him4 ,he _h n long to look = 8 enemy4 ,! c\nt 0 on ! opposite side ( ! /reet1 wat*+ ! door4 ,rob]t saw him & walk$ /raight up to him4 8,y h some?+ to say to me1 monsieur80 he ask$ pr\dly4 8,yes10 said ! c\nt4 8,i am at y\r s]vice10 cont9u$ ,greslon1 8= :atev] rep>ation t x may please y to exact4 ,i w n leave ,riom1 ,i give y my ^w40 8,no1 monsieur10 respond$ ,&r de ,jussat1 8"o does n fight ) su* m5 z y1 "o executes !m40 ,he drew 8 revolv] f 8 pocket1 & z ! o!r1 in/ead ( flee+1 rema9$ /&+ be=e him & seem$ to say3 8,i d>e y10 he lodg$ a bullet 9 8 head4 ,! noise ( ! report1 & a cry ( agony 7 he>d at ! same "t at ! hotel1 & :5 !y ran to see ! cause1 !y f\nd ,c\nt ,&r /&+ aga9/ ! wall1 :o1 ?r[+ d[n 8 pi/ol &1 fold+ 8 arms said simply1 po9t+ to ! body ( 8 si/]'s lov] at 8 feet3 8,i h execut$ ju/ice40 ,& he all[$ himself to be arre/$ )\t any resi/ance4 ,dur+ ! night :i* foll[$ ?is tragic sc5e1 ! admir]s ( ! 8,psy*ology ( ,god0 ( ! 8,!ory ( ! ,passions0 & ( ! 8,anatomy ( ! ,w10 w\ld h be5 a/oni%$ if !y c\ld h se5 :at 0 pass+ 9 room ,no4 #c ( ! ,htel du ,comm]ce1 & 9 ! m9d ( _! implacable & p[]ful ma/]4 ,at ! foot ( ! b$ on :i* lay ! dead man1 ) 8 br[ b&ag$1 knelt ! "m ( ,rob]t ,greslon4 ,! great negator1 seat$ on a *air1 look$ at ?is woman pray+1 & at ! dead man :o _h be5 8 disciple1 sleep+ ! sleep :i* ,*>lotte de ,jussat 0 also sleep+2 &1 = ! fir/ "t1 feel+ 8 m9d p[]less to su/a9 him1 ?is analy/1 almo/ inhuman by =ce ( logic1 b[$ be=e ! imp5etrable my/]y ( de/9y4 ,! words ( ! only pray] he rememb]$3 8,our ,fa!r :o art 9 heav510 came to 8 m9d4 ,surely he did n pron\nce !m4 ,p]haps he nev] w pron\nce !m4 ,b if he exi/1 !n ! only fa!r t[>d :om !y c\ld turn 9 _! h\rs ( di/ress & 9 :om 0 _! only res\rce1 0 _! heav5ly fa!r4 ,& voices ( pray] ! mo/ t\*+ w5t up4 ,& if ?is heav5ly fa!r did only exi/1 %\ld we h ?is hung] & n insi/ = him 9 su* h\rs z ?is8 8,?\ w\ld/ n s5t me if ?\ had/ n f\nd me60 ,at t v mom5t1 ?anks to ! lucidity ( m9d :i* accompanies ! s*ol> into all crises1 ,adri5 ,sixte recall$ ?is admirable s5t5ce ( ,pascal 9 8 8,my/re de ,jsus01 & :5 ! "m arose f h] knees ! philosoph] 0 also weep+4 ,,! ,,end4