,,habits ,,and ,,men4 ,,habits ,,and ,,men1 ,,with ,remnants of ,record ,,touching ,,the ,,makers ,,of ,,both4 ,,by ,,dr4 ,,doran1 ,,author ,,of #8,,table ,,traits1' #8,,history ,,of ,,reading1' #8,,life ,,of ,,dr4 ,,young1' ,,etc4 8,see1 sitting here1 ,just face to face with you1 in cheery guise1 ,a real1 live gossip2 to your charities ,do ,i appeal1 my friends40--,t4 ,westwood4 ,,third ,,edition4 ,,london3 ,,richard ,,bentley1 ,,new ,,burlington ,,street1 ,publisher in ,ordinary to ,her ,majesty4 #ahee4 ,,printed ,,by ,,john ,,edward ,,taylor1 ,,little ,,queen ,,street1 ,,lincoln',s ,,inn ,,fields4 ,,these 8,,trivial1 ,,fond ,,records0 ,,touching ,habits and ,men ,,are ,,inscribed ,,to ,a ,,good ,,man1 ,,of ,,good ,,habits1 ,,to ,,henry ,,holden ,,frankum1 ,,esq41 ,,in ,,testimony ,,of ,,the ,,esteem ,,and ,,regard ,,entertained ,,for ,,him ,,by ,,his ,,very ,,sincere ,,friend ,,the ,,author4 ,,contents4 ,,page ,,between ,,you ,,and ,,me #a ,,man1 ,,manners1 ,,and ,a ,,story ,,with ,a ,,moral ,,to ,,it #i ,,adonis ,,at ,,home ,,and ,,abroad1 ,,part ,i4 #bf ,,adonis ,,at ,,home ,,and ,,abroad1 ,,part ,,ii4 #dj ,,remnants ,,of ,,stage ,,dresses #fj ,,three ,,acts ,,and ,,an ,,epilogue #fg ,,the ,,tiring-,,bowers ,,of ,,queens #hh 8,,la ,,mode0 ,,in ,,her ,,birthplace #aad ,,hats #abi ,,wigs ,,and ,,their ,,wearers #ada ,,beards ,,and ,,their ,,bearers #aeh ,,swords #afh ,,gloves1 ,b,s1 ,,and ,,buttons #ahe ,,stockings #bjj 8,,masks ,,and ,,faces0 #bjd ,,puppets ,,for ,,grown ,,gentlemen #bab ,,touching ,,tailors #bbg ,,why ,,did ,,the ,,tailors ,,choose ,,st4 ,,william ,,for ,,their ,,patron8 #bbi ,,the ,,tailors ,,measured ,,by ,,the ,,poets #bdj ,,sir ,,john ,,hawkwood1 ,,the ,,heroic ,,tailor #bfa ,,george ,d,,rfling1 ,,the ,,martial ,,tailor #bge ,,admiral ,,hobson1 ,,the ,,naval ,,tailor #bhc ,,john ,,stow1 ,,the ,,antiquarian ,,tailor #bhe ,,john ,,speed1 ,,the ,,antiquarian ,,tailor #bif ,,samuel ,,pepys1 ,,the ,,official ,,tailor #cjj ,,richard ,,ryan1 ,,the ,,theatrical ,,tailor #cji ,,paul ,,whitehead1 ,,the ,,poet ,,tailor #cae ,,mems4 ,,of 8,,merchant ,,tailors0 #cbb ,,chapters ,,on ,,beaux #ccg ,,the ,,beaux ,,of ,,the ,,olden ,,time #ccg ,,beau ,,fielding #cdg ,,beau ,,nash #cef ,,the ,,prince ,,de ,,ligne #cgj ,,beau ,,brummell #cgh ,,doctors ,,ready ,,dressed #cie ,,odd ,,fashions #djb ,,between ,,you ,,and ,,me4 8,here1 ,sir1 you'll find1 by way of prologue1 ,a choice imbroglio4 ,philosophy ,gay in her gravity2 and ,poesy ,casting her spangles on the theme of dress4 ,lik'st thou't not1 no merry ,christmas to thee60 ,,old ,,play4 ,it is remarked by ,mr4 ,t4 ,c4 ,grattan1 in his #8,jacqueline of ,holland1' that the 8suitableness of raiment and the becomingness of manners are links in the chain of social life1 which harmonize with and beautify the whole4 ,there is infinitely more wisdom10 he adds 8in submitting to than in spurning those necessary concomitants of civilization1 which1 being artificial throughout1 require the cement of elegance and refinement to polish1 if it cannot lighten1 the chain40 ,i offer this pinch of philosophy to those who like to be tempted by something didactic4 ,i would not1 for the world1 however1 have them believe that ,i shall repeat the temptation1 or follow the example1 in my illustrations of #8,habits and ,men4' ,and when ,i say 8,men10 ,i would imply man in its general sense1--a sense in which 8woman0 has the better and more perfect half2 for1 as the poet sings of ,nature1-- 8,her 'prentice han' ,she tried on man1 ,an' then she made the lasses1 oh60 ,the latter1 consequently1 will come in for their share in these trivial1 fond records4 ,for1 have not the poets loved especially to dress and undress them8 ,and have not the nymphs been consenting8 ,none have defied them1 save 8,fair ,rhodope1 as story tells1 ,the bright1 unearthly nymph who dwells ',mid sunless gold and jewels hid1 ,the ,lady of the ,pyramid40 ,rhodope has been a snare to the versifiers2 but ,i recognize in her a lady who loved home1 and dressed as well when there as her more gadding sisters do only when abroad4 ,if ,rhodope be the only maid who has puzzled the poets1 ,butler is the only poet who has seriously libelled the maids1 and their mothers4 ,see what the rude fellow says of ladies in their company suits and faces3-- 8,yes1 'tis in vain to think to guess ,at women1 by appearances2 ,that paint and patch their imperfections ,of intellectual complexions1 ,and daub their tempers o'er with washes ,as artificial as their faces40 ,it is certainly strange that women1 in earlier days1 when they dealt in neither washes nor washing1 should have been gravely commended for that less commendable fashion4 ,thus1 ,thomas of ,ely lays down a very nasty maxim when he describes the toilet of ,queen ,st4 ,ethelreda3--8,qu enim lota erat corde1 non necesse erat ut lavabatur corpore0 7who was so thoroughly well-washed in heart that she never found it necessary to wash her person74 ,very well6 ,i only wish this lady could have been married to the ,irish ,saint ,angus ,keledeus 7,kele ,de1 8,god worshiper10 thence ,culdees74 ,they would have had a nice household of it2 for the gentleman in question had the barn and the mill-work of his convent1 and1 as he never cleaned himself1 some of the grain which stuck in his hair and about his hairy body1 used to grow as in a good soil1 and then he pulled it out2 gaining a portion of his bread in this nasty field4 ,st4 ,angus1 all over ears1 would have been a novelly dressed bridegroom for ,ethelreda1 newly washed1 in imagination6 8,tut60 said ,st4 ,romnald1 8filthy habits are the anchors by which holy hermits are kept fast in their cells2 once let them dress well and smell nicely1 and worldly people will invite them to their parties40 ,depend upon it1 when ,ethelreda left off her habits of cleanliness1 she wickedly thought of seducing some ,st4 ,angus to come and be her resident confessor6 ,a better example was shown by that saintly sovereign1 ,jayme ,,ii4 of ,mayorca1 who made ministers of his tailors1 as ,george ,,iv4 made tailors of his ministers1 who set those useful dignitaries to work in superb offices1 wherein no profane person dared tread4 ,on the garments made1 no profane person dared lay a hand2 the number of suits was seven1 for the seven great festivals2 and when these were completed1 all the inhabitants were compelled to celebrate the event by a voluntary illumination4 ,certainly1 ,ethelreda did not sit for the original of ,cowley's #8,clad all in ,white1' wherein he says3-- 8,fairest thing that shines below1 ,why in this robe dost thou appear8 ,wouldst thou a white most perfect show1 ,thou must at all no garment wear3 ,thou wilt seem much whiter so ,than winter when 'tis clad with snow40 ,but1 altogether1 ,cowley cannot be said to dress his ladies well4 ,he would banish all art1 just as the nymphs in hoop-petticoats banished all nature4 ,herrick is the man1 to my thinking1 who has hit the happy medium1 in his #8,delight in ,disorder'3-- 8,a sweet disorder in the dress1 ,kindles in clothes a playfulness4 ,a lawn about the shoulder thrown ,into a fine distraction2 ,an erring lace1 which here and there ,inthrals the crimson stomacher2 ,a cuff neglectful1 and thereby ,ribbons to flow confusedly2 ,a winning wave1 deserving note1 ,in the tempestuous petticoat2 ,a careless shoe-string1 in whose tie ,i see a wild civility2 ,do more bewitch me1 than when art ,is too precise in every part40 ,herrick was exquisitely taken by the 8liquefaction10 as he calls it1 of his ,julia's robes1 and his very heart was rumpled by their 8glittering vibration40 ,he dresses her in the airy fashion which ,moore followed when called upon to deck his ,nora ,creina3-- 8,the airy robe ,i did behold1 ,as airy as the leaves of gold1 ,which erring here and wandering there1 ,pleased with transgression ev'rywhere3 ,sometimes 'twould pant1 and sigh1 and heave1 ,as if to stir it scarce had leave2 ,but having got it1 thereupon ',twould make a brave expansion1 ,and pounced with stars1 it show'd to me ,like a celestial canopy40 ,gthe1 that lover of many ladies1 never decks one wholly1 but now and then he makes a gift interpreting his taste1 as when ,lamon remarks1 in the #8,laune des ,verliebten'3-- 8,die ,rose seh' ich gern in einem schwarzen ,haar40 ,the ,french poets put all their swains in tight gloves and loose principles2 and their nymphs are as anxious about their dress1 as though there were soires in ,tempe1 and a ,longchamps in ,arcadia4 ,thus ,chnier's ,nas bids ,daphnis not to crease her veil1 and1 with a shrewd idea of the cost of a new frock1 how snappishly does the pretty thing reply to the invitation to recline on the shady bank3-- 8,vois1 cet humide gazon ,va souiller ma tunique60 ,how pure1 compared or not compared with this calculating nymph1 is the ,madeline of ,endymion ,keats4 ,the ,english poet undresses his young maiden with a 8niceness0 that gives us as much right to look as ,porphyro3-- 8,her vespers done1 ,of all its wreathed pearls her hair she frees2 ,unclasps her warmed jewels one by one2 ,loosens her fragrant boddice2 by degrees ,her rich attire creeps rustling to her knees3 ,half-hidden1 like a mermaid in seaweed1 ,pensive awhile1 she dreams awake40 ,it is clear that this lady1 although belonging to a more artificial society than ,nas1 thinks less of her dress1 and more of her principles4 ,not but that ladies have a fine eye for the snares by which they may either catch or be caught4 ,there is something in the following1 from an old ,spanish ballad 7#8,a aquel caballero1 madre'71 which proves what ,i say1 and may be useful to gentlemen when contemplating the subject of costume3-- ,to that cavalier1 dear mother1 ,when a child1 ,i simply told ,how three kisses ,i would owe him3 ,i must pay them1 now ,i'm old6 ,i am now sixteen1 dear mother3 ,if the noble youth should come1 ,and call upon his little debtor1 ,sighing for him here at home2-- ,should he come with feathers dancing1 ,helm of steel and spurs of gold1 ,and claim the kisses that ,i owe him1 ,i--would pay him1 now ,i'm old6 8,hush1 child6 this is not the language ,worthy a ,castilian maid1 ,one too promised to the altar1 ,convent's gloom1 and cloister's shade4 ,for thou'rt given to ,st4 ,cecil1 ,to her holy shrine thou'rt sold2-- ,will not my sweet one read her missal80 8,yes6--,i'll pay him now ,i'm old60 ,grave commentators on this ballad suggest1 that if the cavalier had not been a superbly dressed cavalier1 the little maiden would have forgotten her vow2 and in the south of ,spain1 when a man is inclined to become heedless of external adornment1 he is warned of the peril of losing the three kisses of ,st4 ,cecilia's ,nun4 ,but the overture to my 8opera0 is extending beyond due limits2 and as ,i have hitherto been repeating snatches from the airs of others1 ,i will here add1 to save my honour1 one of my own4 ,it is well known that ,henrietta ,maria mostly favoured the colour known as the ,maiden's ,blush1--from the rose of that pretty name4 ,the following lines will show ,,how ,,the ,,rose ,,got ,,its ,,hue4 ,one starry eve1 as ,psyche lay ,beneath a cistus bower's shade1 ,tearing the flowers in idle play1 ,young ,love came tripping by1 that way1 ,and to the girl thus1 laughing1 said1-- ,the sweetest rose that ever eye ,yet smiled upon ,i plucked but now2 ,pure as the stars in yon blue sky ,and whiter than the flowers that lie ,in wreaths about thy sunny brow4 ,the sweetest rose that ever spent ,its balmy store of scented bliss ,about thy locks1 or gently bent ,above thy bow'r1 had ne'er the scent ,that lies enshrined1 my soul1 in this4 ,oh for a name1 my gentle girl1 ,that mortals fittingly may call ,this matchless rose1 of flowers the pearl6-- ,look1 sweet1 how soft the petals curl6 ,a name6--and thou shalt have them all4 ,while ,love thus urged his pretty suit1 ,and to the blushing girl drew near1 ,he softly struck his golden lute1 ,as ,psyche sat1 entranced and mute1 ,drinking the sounds with willing ear4 ,and when the golden lute was hush'd1 ,and ,love still nearer drew1 to seek ,his usual meed from lips that flush'd ,with softer hues than ever blush'd ,upon his own sweet mother's cheek1-- ,he whisper'd something soft and low1 ,with arm and flower around her thrown1 ,that call'd upon her cheeks a glow ,which shed upon the leaves of snow ,a hue still deeper than her own4 ,and ,love1 rejoicing1 mark'd the rush ,of soft and rosy light that came ,upon the flower1 which caught the flush ,from ,psyche's cheek1 whose maiden blush ,gave to the rose both hue and name4 ,between the days when ,psyche blushed on the rose1 and the age when ,delamira bought her blushes at fifteen shillings the pot1 there is a long period2--nature at one end1 and hoop-petticoats at the other4 ,the fashion of the latter had got so preposterous1 that ,mr4 ,william ,jingle1 coachmaker and chairmaker of the ,liberty of ,westminster1 invented for the service of the ladies 8a round chair in the form of a lantern1 six yards and a half in circumference1 with a stool in the centre of it2 the said vehicle being so contrived1 as to receive the passenger1 by opening in two in the middle1 and closing mathematically1 when she is seated40 ,honest ,jingle also 8invented a coach for the reception of one lady only1 who is to be let in at the top40 ,for these inventions he asked the patronage of that ,censor of ,great ,britain1 ,mr4 ,isaac ,bickerstaff1--and therefore it must be true4 ,however1 how wide the time between the blushes of ,psyche and the era of hoops6 ,now it is something connected with costume1 during this interval1 and subsequent to it1 that ,i am now about to speak4 ,these words1 between you and me1 reader1 have been as the fragments of airs1 which in musical introductions give us an inkling of more fulness to come4 ,i will only pause to add a sentiment from ,cowper2--but that would really be worse than ,joseph ,surface4 ,no1 reader6 ,i will fling in my sentiment at the end1 and here invite you to consider a subject1 whose title heads the following page4 ,,man1 ,,manners1 ,,and ,a ,,story ,,with ,a ,,moral ,,to ,,it4 8,les hommes font les lois1 les femmes font les murs40--,,de ,s,,gue4 8,l'homme est un animal60 said a ,french orator1 by way of peroration to his first speech in the ,chamber of ,deputies2 8,man is an animal60--and there he stopped4 ,he found his subject exhausted1 and he sat down in confusion4 ,thereupon his own familiar friend arose1 and suggested that it was desirable that the honourable gentleman's speech should be printed1 with a portrait of the author6 ,the definition is1 as far as it goes1 a plagiarism from ,plato4 ,in the ,apophthegmata of ,diogenes ,laertius1 it is stated that ,plato defined ,man as an animal with two legs and without feathers4 ,the definition having been generally approved of1 ,diogenes went into the school of the philosopher1 carrying with him a cock1 which he had stripped of his plumage4 8,here10 said he1 8is ,plato's man60 ,plato saw that his definition needed improvement1 and he added to it 8with broad nails40 ,he might have further said1 8and needing something in place of feathers40 ,so much depends upon this substitute1 and so much more is thought of habits than of manners1--that is1 morals1--and of the makers of the former than the teachers of the latter1 that it is popularly and properly said1 8,the tailor makes the man40 ,no doubt of it2 and tailors are far better paid than tutors4 ,the ,nugees keep country-houses and recline in carriages2 the philosophers are accounted of as nug1 and plod on foot to give golden instruction for small thanks and a few pence4 ,their device1 if they are ever so ennobled as to be thought worthy of one1 might be that of the patriotic ladies of ,prussia1 who1 before the time when their country became a satrapy of ,muscovy1 exchanged their golden adornments for an iron ring1 on which was engraved the legend1 8,ich gab ,gold um ,eisen10--,i gave gold for iron4 ,this being the case1 it is little to be wondered at that man is more careful about his dress than his instruction4 ,the well-dressed man looks1 at all events1 like a man well to do2 and how profound is the respect of the world for a man who may be catalogued as 8well to do60 ,that man thoroughly understood the meaning of the term who1 when on his trial for murder1 and anticipating an acquittal1 invited his counsel to dinner4 ,the invitation was accepted1 but1 the verdict rendering the inviter incapable of even ordering a dinner for himself1 the intended guest frowned on the convict1 and went and dined with the prosecutor4 ,philosophy has done its best to cure man of vanity in dress2 but philosophy has been vain1--and so has man4 8,for a man to be fantastic and effeminate in attire10 says ,stobus1 8is unpardonable4 ,it is next to ,sardanapalus's spinning among women4 ,to such ,i would say1 ,art thou not ashamed1 when ,nature hath made thee a man1 to make thyself a woman80 ,seneca hath something to the same purpose1 and not altogether inapplicable in our days4 8,some of the manly sex amongst us10 says he1 8are so effeminate1 that they would rather have the commonwealth out of order1 than their hair2 they are more solicitous about trimming and sprucing up their heads1 than they are of their health or of the safety of the public2 and are more anxious to be fine than virtuous40 ,sir ,walter ,raleigh asserts that 8,no man is esteemed for gay garments1 but by fools and women10--an assertion which shows that his philosophy and his civility were both in a ragged condition4 ,sir ,matthew ,hale throws the blame where it ought to be borne1 when he declares that the vanity of loving fine clothes and new fashions1 and valuing ourselves by them1 is one of the most childish pieces of folly that can be4 ,the philosophy of the judge is 8truer steel0 than that of the soldier4 ,but1 for philosophy in describing a dress1 ,i know nothing that can surpass that of the poor ,irishman1 who1 looking down at his own garment of million tatters1 smilingly said that it was 8made of holes40 ,there is very good philosophy in the story of ,nessus and his tunic4 ,we all know how the story is told in history1 and that it therefore cannot be true4 ,apollodorus and ,pausanias1 ,diodorus1 ,ovid1 and ,seneca1 have all told the same tale1 without guessing at the truth which lies hid in it4 ,it is to this effect3--,when ,hercules was on his way to the court of ,ceyx1 king of ,trachinia1 in company with his 8lady10 ,dejanira1 the travellers came to the swollen river of ,evenus4 ,nessus1 the centaur1 politely carried the lady over1 and became very rude to her on the opposite bank4 ,the stalwart husband1 from the other shore1 observing what was going on1 sent one of his shafts1 dipped in the poison of the ,lernan ,hydra1 right into the centaur's heart4 ,nessus1 while dying1 presented his shirt1--that is1 his tunic1--to ,dejanira1 informing her that if she could persuade ,hercules to wear it1 he would never behave to her otherwise than as a gentleman4 ,now1 as he never had yet so comported himself--for he was a dreadful bully--,dejanira accepted the gift2 and1 as the hero was soon after found flirting with his old love ,iole1 and was vain of his appearance1 she sent the gay garment to him1 and he had no sooner donned it than death clasped him1 and the hero was transferred to where there were so many other powerful rascals1--the halls of ,olympus4 ,so much for fiction1 and those never-to-be-trusted poets4 ,here is the truth4 ,nessus was a ridiculous old dandy1 with a juvenile wig and reprobate principles4 ,he courted ,hercules' 8lady10 and so flattered her that she became fonder than ever of fashionable garments1 and even accepted a shawl from the centaur1 who had ordered it in the name of the husband1 and left him to pay for it4 ,hercules forgot his vexation in the beaux yeux of ,iole2 and remembering how the 8old beast10 as he used to call the centaur1 had contrived to sun himself in ,dejanira's eyes1 he adopted the fashion of ,nessus2 and1 lightly as nymphs were dressed in the days of ,iole1 he ran up a right royal bill at the milliner's1 and no more thought of what he should have to pay than the ,duke of ,york1 when ordering cashmeres for ,anna ,maria ,clarke4 ,the fall of the year however came1 and therewith the 8little account10 with an intimation that a speedy settlement would oblige4 ,hercules1 hero as he was1 felt his heart fail him as he looked at 8the tottle of the whole10 and he fell into such extravagances that1 being hunted to death by bailiffs1 and his honesty as small as that of the proprietor of an ultra-pietist paper who cheats his editor1 he took the benefit of the act1 and retired to the country1 where he kept a shabby chariot1 drawn by only two mangy leopards1 and ultimately died1 like other heroes1 bewailing his amiable weaknesses4 ,but let us go further back than to mythology1 in order to examine the origin of dress4 ,it may be said 7and ,i hope without profanity7 that sewing came in with sin2 or rather1 it was one of the first consequences of the first crime4 ,perhaps1 for this reason1 has a certain degree of contempt been inherited by the professors of the art4 ,the trade of a tailor is not honoured with mention in any part of the ,scriptures4 ,gardening was the early occupation1 and hence horticulture is accounted refined4 ,tubal ,cain was the first worker in iron2 and from his time down to a very late period1 the employment which required much exercise of muscular strength had the precedence of mere sedentary callings4 ,the ,french1 indeed1 as becomes a nation which prides itself as being the most particular touching the external dressing of a man1 has always confessed to a sort of tender regard for the tailor4 ,the vocation against which ,gallic wits direct their light-winged shafts1 is that of the grocer4 ,the picier with them is a man whose soul does not rise above lait de poule and cotton nightcaps4 ,he is generally the coward in farces1 while heroism is not made separable from the melancholy wielders of the needle4 ,in ,france however we may still trace a remnant of the time when the highest honour was awarded to the pliers of the heaviest tools1 or the workmen whose vocation had a spice of peril in it4 ,thus the farrier smith1 in ,france1 still enjoys a courtesy rank which places him on a nominal equality with the tried commanders of valiant hosts2 and if ,soult was ,marshal of ,france1 so every ,gallic farrier is 8marchal ferrant0--the marshal of the workers in iron4 ,as weavers and fullers are noticed in ,holy ,writ1 while the tailor is passed over in silence1 it is probable that he had no distinct status among the ,jews1 and that1 during a long period at least1 every man was his own costumier4 ,in other countries the tailor and the physician were both slaves1 and probably the first was as little or less of a bungler than the second2 for the servus vestiarius could often improve the outer man1 when the servus medicus could not do as much for the inner one4 ,under the old dispensation1 sewing1 as ,i have said1 followed sin2 and he who forged a bill-hook or a brand was in higher esteem than he who lived by the exercise of the needle4 ,under a later dispensation we find examples of this order of precedency being reversed4 ,lydia of ,thyatira was among the first who joined ,paul in prayer1 by the riverside at ,philippi4 ,her office was to make up into garments the purple cloth for which ,lydia itself was famous4 ,with this proselyte ,paul dwelt1 and on her he left a blessing4 ,it was not so with a certain strong handicraftsman4 ,when ,paul was once at the point of death he bethought him of an old vicious adversary1 and said1 8,alexander the coppersmith did me much evil2 the ,lord reward him according to his works60 ,and by this we not only see that he who taught so wisely could sometimes err against his own instructions1 but we may even make this strange circumstance profitable to us by viewing in it the proof that even the nearest to heaven are not entirely free from the stains of earth2 and that the spirit truly worthy of immortality has never yet been found in aught that was mortal4 ,and this reminds me1 that while every ,jew learned some trade1 there is none recorded as having learned that of a tailor4 ,the coppersmiths endeavour to disconnect their calling from the excommunication of ,paul1 by asserting that the ,alexander who did evil to ,paul1 by maligning him and by broaching heresies upon the resurrection1 was really a philosopher1 who was only a coppersmith for his amusement4 ,this however is not likely1 for it was not usual to designate learned men by the name of their adopted trades4 ,and however this may be1 it was ,lydia the maker of purple vests who obtained the blessing1 while ,alexander the coppersmith inherited the curse4 ,and may ,i here remark1--for ,i hope to be permitted to indulge in a good deal of 8cross stitch0 in these unpretending sketches1--that the best of men of modern times can1 like ,st4 ,paul1 be vigorously minded against their opponents4 ,i will only cite ,cowper1 who was more wrathful than the ,apostle1 without the provocation by which the latter was judicially moved4 ,cowper is certainly the sweetest of our didactic poets4 ,he is elevated in his #8,table ,talk2' acute in detailing the #8,progress of ,error2' and he chants the praises of #8,truth' in more dulcet notes than were ever sounded by the fairest swan in ,cayster4 ,his #8,expostulation' is made in the tones of a benevolent sage4 ,his #8,hope' and his #8,charity' are proofs of his pure ,christian-like feeling2--a feeling which also pervades his #8,conversation' and his #8,retirement1' and which barbs the shafts of his satire without taking away from their strength4 ,the same praise is due to the six books of the #8,task1' of which perhaps the ,garden is the least successful portion4 ,if however we be disposed to find fault at all with anything in his sentiment or expression1 it would be in this1--that while he celebrates in warm praises the delights of his own peaceful and retired life--a life which1 on the respectable authority of the old medical writer ,celsus1 ,i may call as hurtful to the body as it is profitable or necessary to the mind 78,literarum disciplina1 ut animo prcipue omnium necessaria1 sic corpori inimica est071 there is some illiberality in his declaring that the various occupations of other and more active men are either frivolous or criminal4 ,cowper patiently enjoys holding the ravelled thread for ladies to wind it on to their bobbins1 but he sneers at the party who sits down to chess or stands up to billiards4 ,he will praise air and exercise1 if you will only take them in company with him1 in covered walks where there is what he so well and quaintly calls 8,an obsolete prolixity of shade40 ,but if you enjoy your air and exercise in field sports1 you are more ignoble than your groom1 and a greater brute than the victim you pursue4 ,again3 he acknowledges change of scene to be beneficial to the animal economy2 but he intends thereby a change from one parish to another4 ,you must not go to ,france for change1 without being undeniably anything but a gentleman and a ,christian4 ,he is ready too to eat game and dine on venison1 but he would not1 for the world1 be so guilty as to course a hare or shoot a buck4 ,finally1 he would listen with all imaginable pleasure and rapture to the strains of ,handel1 were they only composed to the glory and praise of ,damon and ,dolly1 rather than1 as they are1 to the eulogy of the ,messiah and in illustration of ,his sacrifice4 ,but why1 it may be asked1 this piece of patchwork with ,cowper's name thereon8 ,well1 ,cowper was something of a tailor in his way1 and could sew a button on his sleeve as adroitly1 if not as any tailor in town1 at least as any sailor in the fleet4 ,and in this he was something akin to ,pope ,pius ,,vii4 when prisoner at ,fontainebleau4 ,what a heavy captivity was that6--not so much for the prisoner1 as for those who were compelled to listen to the long and dreary and pointless stories of the good-natured and weak old man4 ,when the officers who had this ,pope in charge1 were conducting him from ,rome to ,paris1 they on one occasion shut him up in a coach-house1 where he remained seated in his carriage1 while his captors dined4 ,cardinal ,pacca says of this ,pope1 who was an admirable tailor when necessity pressed him1 that1 during the eighteen months he was resident at ,fontainebleau1 he could never be prevailed upon to quit his own suite of apartments4 ,he1 and the ,cardinals who accompanied him1 were employed in conjugating the verb s'ennuyer4 ,he loved a little gossip1 and hated books2 but the captive had a solace--one worthy of the dignity of ,diocletian1 when he cultivated cabbages4 ,savary1 ,duke de ,rovigo1 who was chief gaoler over the chief ,pontiff1 says1 of the latter1 that 8he did not open a book the livelong day2 and he occupied himself in things which1 if ,i had not myself seen1 ,i never should have believed2 stitching and mending1 for instance1 holes and rents in his clothes1 sewing a button on his breeches1 and washing with his own hands his dressing-gown1 on which he had a habit of allowing his snuff to fall in large quantities40 ,savary is especially1 and naturally1 astonished that the supreme ,pontiff preferred his amateur tailoring to enjoying the books in the great library of ,fontainebleau4 ,poor man6 he did not like reading1 but he did like killing time at the point of the needle4 ,the tailors of his community are doubtless proud of such a patron4 ,the story rests on ,savary's authority2 and while ,cardinal ,pacca abuses him for telling it1 his ,eminence does not deny its authenticity4 99 99 99 99 99 ,but we must not allow the ,pope and his pursuits to take us away from the consideration of sacred things4 ,reverting therefore to the ,jews1 it may be said of them that if they did not possess the tailor as a professor1 they had a sufficient variety of dress to perplex the domestic ministers of fashion4 ,there is quite as much perplexity for those who have to write about it4 ,the ,jews1 like the modern children of the ,prophet1 would not tolerate the representation of any living figure1 and the antiquary has therefore no chance of consulting a ,hebrew #8,journal des ,modes4' ,the monuments of nations distant from ,palestine cannot be accepted as authority when they are said to represent the ,jewish people1 for we have no assurance that the people are thereon represented2 or if they be ,jews1 that they are1 in slavery1 wearing a national costume4 ,of one thing however there is a certainty4 ,the ,jews had a national costume2 and1 except in ceremonial dresses and some female appendages1 it had very little resemblance indeed to the costume of the ,egyptians4 ,the material of ,jewish garments was manufactured at home2 the skilful hands of the women spinning and weaving the raw material afforded by the flocks4 ,not all the women appear to have been given to the useful work4 ,there were some fine ladies among the multitude that came out of ,egypt1 and these had an aristocratically foolish contempt for the spinners and tailoresses of the tribes4 ,but ,i would especially recommend my fair readers to remember the sacred record1 which ennobles labour1 where it says3--8,all the women that were wise-hearted did spin with their hands1 and brought that which they had spun1 both of blue1 and of purple1 and of scarlet1 and of fine linen20 and again it is said1--and it sounds like ,god's blessing upon the daughters of toil1--8,and all the women whose hearts stirred them up in wisdom spun goats' hair40 ,no doubt these women1 whose hearts were the thrones of wisdom1 were primeval tailoresses4 ,and much value was set upon the habits which they made1 the shaping of which1 ,i may add1 presented little difficulty4 ,the principal article of dress was an ample woollen garment1--a cloak by day1 and a couch by night4 ,it served two purposes1 like ,goldsmith's stocking1 which1 at night1 he drew from his feet to place on his head4 ,much value1 ,i have said1 was attached to this garment2 as1 for instance3 8,if thou at all take thy neighbour's raiment to pledge1 thou shalt deliver it to him by that the sun goeth down4 ,for that is his covering only2 it is the raiment for his skin3 wherein shall he sleep8 ,and it shall come to pass1 when he crieth unto ,me1 that ,i will hear2 for ,i am gracious40 ,at ,beni ,hassan1 in ,egypt1 there are some painted representations of men who are supposed to be the counterfeit presentment of ,jews fresh from their own country1 and therefore in undoubted ,jewish costume4 ,the men are variously attired3 they are all sandalled4 ,some wear only short tunics1 others a cloak over the tunic4 ,this cloak or plaid1 for it is of a striped and figured pattern1 and is described as resembling the fine grass-woven cloth of the ,south ,sea1 is worn over the left shoulder and under the right arm1 leaving the latter free for action4 ,other figures are clad in fringed shirts1 or tunics of the same material as the plaid1 reminding one of the command given unto ,moses in the fifteenth chapter of ,numbers3 8,speak unto the children of ,israel1 and bid them that they make them fringes in the borders of their garments throughout their generations1 and that they put upon the fringe of the borders a ribbon of blue40 ,and again1 in ,deuteronomy3 8,thou shalt make thee fringes upon the four quarters of thy vesture1 wherewith thou coverest thyself30 and it will be remembered that a formal observance of this command gave ground for censure1 when the ,jews were1 at a later period1 reproached because 8all their works they do for to be seen of men2 they make broad their phylacteries1 and enlarge the borders of their garments40 ,the garments in the paintings at ,beni ,hassan are of the very simplest construction4 ,the ,hebrew maker of them could hardly have committed the trifling mistake made by ,andrew ,fern1 the weather-brained tailor of ,cromarty1 who used1 says ,hugh ,miller1 8to do very odd things1 especially when the moon was at the full1 and whom the writer remembers from the circumstance that ,andrew fabricated for him his first jacket1 and that though he succeeded in sewing on one sleeve to the hole at the shoulder1 where it ought to be1 he committed the slight mistake of sewing on the other sleeve to one of the pocket-holes60 ,there are no pocket-holes visible in the ,jewish garments4 ,the ,jews soon learned to enlarge their fringes4 ,in the ,valley of ,bab el ,malook1 near ,thebes1 ,belzoni discovered a tomb in which is represented the triumph of ,pharaoh ,necho1 after the victory over the ,jews at ,megiddo4 ,the ,jews1 among the captives1 look very much like ,highlanders1 with nothing on but kilts kept down about the knees by leaded bunches of ribbons1--a fashion not unknown to modern ,ballerinas1 who wear 8very thin clothing1 and but little of it40 ,the captives1 however1 have probably been stripped of their upper garments1 which the conquerors may be supposed to have sold to the tailors of ,misraim1 whereupon to model new fashions for the modish dwellers by the purple ,nile4 ,the ,rabbins had some curious ideas touching the original form of ,adam1 and the peculiar dress made for him and ,eve before the ,fall4 ,bartolozzi1 in his #8,bibliotheca ,rabbinica1' notices the tradition that the father of mankind was originally furnished with a tail1 but that it was cut off by his ,maker1 because he looked better without it4 ,another tradition asserts that1 before the fall1 ,adam and ,eve had a transparent covering1 a robe of light1 of which remnants are left to mankind in the nails of the hands and feet4 ,let me add1 for the sake of those who are fond of adopting primeval colours1 that the original hue of the father of man is said to have been a bottle-green4 ,when ,stulz furnished ,mr4 ,haynes with his celebrated pea-green coat1 the schneider only made him as closely resembling as he could to ,eliezer the ,tanaite1 in his bright green gabardine4 ,and ,eliezer if a good patron to tailors1 and a wearer of gay colours1 was also one of the most learned of men4 ,it is said of him1 that if all the firmament were changed into parchment1 and the entire ocean into ink1 it would not suffice to write all that he knew2 for he was the author1 among other brief works1 of three hundred volumes1 solely upon the subject of sowing cucumbers4 ,perhaps ,stulz wished to make the wooer of ,miss ,foote look as like a philosopher as possible1 for ,eliezer was not the only sage who walked the world in verdant suit4 ,when ,amelia ,opie paid her visit to ,godwin in ,somers' ,town1 the teacher of the peoples wore over a fiery crimson waistcoat a bottle-green coat1 the colour of the original man1 from whom ,godwin of course very much doubted whether he really were descended4 ,the ,jews1 as rather given to luxury in dress1 would have been excellent patrons of the tailors1 but for ,christian jealousy4 ,in ,spain and ,portugal1 the rich ,hebrews were the unqualified delight of the most orthodox of tailors--who loved to dress even more than they did to burn them4 ,but the ultra-pietism of the ,queen ,regent at ,valladolid1 in the year #adab1--;a year when the prospects of the unfortunate descendants of ,israel were particularly gloomy1--put a clog upon trade1 without1 in any degree1 accelerating religion4 ,the counsellor of the ,queen was ,brother ,vincent ,ferrer1 the inveterate enemy of the ,jewish nation4 ,the two together fulminated a decree1 in the name of the infant monarch1 ,don ,john1 which in substance declared that the ,jews should live apart1 and exercise no trade or calling that was either respectable or profitable4 ,the tailors of ,castile would not have been much troubled at this decree1 for their old customers had saved money enough to make the fortunes of the entire trade1 had it not been for one of the concluding clauses1 which did more injury to ,christians than to ,jews4 ,by these clauses ,jews were forbidden to wear cloaks1 and were restricted to long robes1 of poor materials1 over their clothes4 ,the ,jewesses were ordered to wear common mantles reaching to their feet1 and with hoods to be worn over the head4 ,disobedience to these clauses was to be visited by 8the forfeiture of all the clothes they may have on1 to their under garments40 ,an additional clause fixed against them the canon of a sumptuary law2 and no tailor dared to supply to a ,jew a suit1 the cloth of which cost upwards of thirty maravedis4 ,if the tailor offended against this decree1 the ,church admonished him1 but the law scourged the ,jew4 ,the first time a ,hebrew donned a suit worth more than the thirty maravedis1 he forfeited the suit1 and was sent home in his shirt4 ,for a second offence1 he forfeited his entire wardrobe2 but ,justice kept him warm by administering to him a hundred lashes1 vigorously applied by the hand of an executioner1 who imagined that the more blood he drew the better ,heaven would be pleased4 ,for a third indulgence in forbidden finery the ,jew was mulcted of all he possessed2 8but10 says the gracious ,queen ,regent1 8it is my pleasure that1 if the ,jews choose1 they may make coats and cloaks of the clothes which they now possess40 ,how lucky for ,baron ,rothschild that he is not compelled1 like his predecessors1 to carry his cast-off clothes to his tailor1 and have one new coat made out of two old garments6 ,the ,persian ,jews were as ill-content at having their tailors' bills regulated by the ,government as were those of the ,peninsula4 ,when the ,persian ,caliphs1 who would allow nobody to be well-dressed but the faithful1 closed the colleges at ,babylon1 and expelled the professors1 it is said that nobody wept for the latter so much as the handicraftsmen who used to adorn their outward persons4 ,of these expelled professors1 a corsair captured at sea ,rabbi ,moses1 his handsome wife1 and their son1 ,rabbi ,hanoch4 ,on their way to ,cordova1 some ,tarquinian-like overtures were made to the lady1 who1 walking up to her husband1 inquired if those drowned at sea would be resuscitated at the resurrection8 ,the ,rabbi smiled1 and answered with the text3--8,the ,lord said1 ,i will bring again from ,bashan1 ,i will bring again from the depths of the sea40 ,thereupon the ,hebrew ,lucretia plunged into the waves1 and her husband into a reverie1 in which the calmly-pleasant abounded4 ,the ,jews of ,cordova redeemed the other captives1 and the first visit of ,rabbi pre was to a tailor1 of whom he ordered an outfit of sackcloth4 ,the honest man was disgusted with his customer's taste1 and valued below cost-price a philosopher who declared that his logic was always more conclusive in sackcloth than in habits spun from finer webs4 ,attired in his new suit1 he entered the ,jewish college1 where a learned dispute was being carried on with equal warmth and obtuseness4 ,a few words from the mean stranger had an effect like the sun upon a fog1 and the president quitting his chair1 the man in sackcloth was voted into it by acclamation4 ,the tailor1 who had followed out of curiosity1 ran to the captain of the corsair1 and told him that his late captive was a rare man1 of whose value he had been ignorant2 and therewith the captain would fain have had the sale cancelled1 but the ,caliph of ,cordova would not listen to such a proposition4 ,hanoch1 the son of ,moses1 was even more fortunate than his sire1 for he espoused a daughter of the ,house of ,peliag4 ,hanoch displayed such liberality on the occurrence of this union1 that for a long time the corporation of tailors1 whom he especially benefited on this occasion1 were accustomed to name one son in their respective families after so liberal a patron of the craft4 ,the two ,jewish households on that day were long celebrated at the hearths of those who made their dresses4 ,the wedding feast was held at ,zahara1 near the city1 and not less than seven hundred ,israelites rode thither in costumes that would have dazzled the ,incas4 ,ask a well-to-do ,cordovese tailor as to the state of his vocation1 and1 if he has not now forgotten the once popular legend1 he will answer1 8,it is almost as flourishing1 ,sir1 as in the days of ,hanoch1 whom our predecessors cursed as a ,jew1 and blessed as a customer40 ,it was a neatly cut distinction1 and fitted exactly4 ,deformity of principle1 as well as deformity of person1 may sometimes be the mother of ,fashion4 ,thus it is stated by an old ,french writer1 that 8the use of great purfles and slit coates was introduced by wanton women20 but he adds1 with great unction1 that the fashion of these lemans had been adopted by the princesses and ladies of ,england2 and with them he trusts that it will long remain4 ,the same author shows how a fair lady1 by following the fashion thus lightly set1 became the victim of ,satan himself4 ,it must be premised that the author's daughters had been very desirous of indulging in furred garments1 and purfles1 and slashed coats2 and as the father saved himself from a long bill at the dressmaker's by telling the following story1 ,i calculate upon the gratitude of all sires similarly beset1 if the telling of it here1 and by them to their respective young ladies1 should be followed by the desired consequences1--which ,i do not at all anticipate4 ,a certain knight having lost his wife1 and not being at all sure as to the locality in which her spirit rested1 applied to a devout hermit1 who picked up a living by revealing that sort of secret4 ,in our own days1 the ,rev4 ,mr4 ,godfrey professes to get at the same mystery by dint of table-turning4 ,well2 the reverend gentleman's ancestor1 the hermit1 thought upon the question by going to sleep over it2 and when he awoke1 he informed the knight that he had been1 in a vision1 to the tribunal of souls1 and that he had there learned all about the lady in question4 ,he had seen ,st4 ,michael and ,lucifer standing opposite each other1 and between them a pair of scales1 in one of which was placed the lady's soul1 with its select assortment of good deeds2 and in the other1 all her evil actions4 ,a fiend1 with all her garments and jewellery in his possession1 was looking on4 ,the beam of the balance had not yet made a movement1 when the impetuous ,st4 ,michael was about generously to claim the soul thus weighed4 ,thereupon ,lucifer urbanely remarked1 that he would take the liberty of informing his once-esteemed friend of a fact probably unknown to him4 8,this woman10 said he1 8had no less than ten gowns and as many coats2 and you know as well as ,i do1 my good ,michael1 that half the quantity would have sufficed for her requirements1 and would not have been contrary to the law of ,god40 ,st4 ,michael looked rather offended at its being supposed that he knew anything about women and their gear1 and suggested that too much intercourse with both had been the ruin of his ex-colleague4 8,fier comme un ,archange60 was the commentary of the deboshed ,lucifer1 who1 according to some old fathers1 tempted ,eve in very excellent ,french4 ,however that may be1 he added1 8the value of one of this pretty wanton's superfluous gowns or coats would have clothed and kept forty poor men through a whole winter3 and the mere waste cloth from them would have saved two or three from perishing4 ,touche-fille10 he said1 addressing the fiend who carried the finery1 8throw those traps into the scale40 ,the fiend obeyed1 by casting them in where the lady's bad actions lay2 and straightway down sank that scale1 and upward flew the beam which bore the soul and its ounce of virtues4 ,this was done with such a jerk that the soul itself fell into the outspread arms of ,touche-fille1 who made off with his prey1 without waiting for further award4 ,lucifer looked inquiringly at ,st4 ,michael2 but the latter observed1 that though his opponent's aide-de-camp had been somewhat too hasty1 he would not dispute the case any further4 8,but what1 may ,i ask1 do you intend to do with her80 8,she shall have a new dress daily1 and fancy herself ugly in all40 8,umph60 said ,michael1 8you certainly are the most exquisite of torturers40 8,and ,michael1 despite his modesty1 does know what most vexes a woman60 8,go to 20 whither1 the last person addressed had not time to say4 ,he was interrupted by ,lucifer1 who remarked3-- 8,i have business upon earth4 ,my affairs at home are well cared for in my absence by a regency40 ,and so they parted2 and the moral of the tale is1 that luxury in dress tends to lead to the ,devil4 ,and though it be lightly said1 it is also truly said4 ,let us look through the book of patterns1 wherein we may trace the varieties of costume1 its fashion and its follies1 and see how what was irreproachable today becomes ridiculous tomorrow4 ,,adonis ,,at ,,home ,,and ,,abroad4 ,,part ,i4 8,l'habit est une partie intgrante de l'homme2 il agit sur nos sens1 et dtermine notre jugement40--,,la ,,bruyere4 ,our ancestors1 in early days1 had what may be called early ways4 ,they were in no respect superior to ,new ,zealanders in a savage state4 ,civilization has however copied some of their customs1 and old ladies who paint their cheeks and necks are not much further advanced than their ancestors1 who coloured themselves all over1 and that not out of vanity4 ,strabo says that the people in the west of ,england shaved their chins1 but cherished mustachios1 wore black garments1 and carried a stick4 ,this description might serve for half the gentlemen who are to be seen in ,regent ,street and ,rotten ,row during the 8season40 ,but ,i suppose one may take the liberty to doubt that the ,cradocks of today really resemble so closely as the description would seem to warrant1 their progenitors the ,caradocs of other times1 who 8looked like furies10 says ,strabo1 8but were in fact quiet and inoffensive people40 ,the early ,welsh bards1 we are told1 dressed in sky-blue2 the modern bards of the million are content to breakfast on it3 the ,british astronomers wore green1 which was not indicative of what the colour might have stood for1--a verdant knowledge of the science4 ,when the ,romans planted their conquering eagles on our soil1 the old ,british chieftains resisted them and their fashions4 ,tacitus says that it was the sons of the chieftains who first adopted the ,roman mode2 and no doubt the old gentlemen were disgusted when they beheld their unpatriotic young heirs wandering about without their bracc1 and sporting the tunic before whose presence liberty and trousers had disappeared1 but not for ever4 ,the ,saxons brought in their own fashions1 and some of these still prevail2 the smock-frock1 for instance1 is the old ,saxon tunic without the belt4 ,such a dress was never known in ,ireland nor in ,scotland3 the ,saxons kept for whole centuries to a fixed fashion1 as may be seen in any illustrated work on costume4 ,in this respect they were only less tenacious than the ,persians1 whose garments passed from father to son as long as they could hold together4 ,it would be difficult1 ,i fancy1 to persuade any modern young ,anglo-,saxon to draw on the scanc-beorg1 or shank-coverers1 of his respected and deceased 8governor40 ,it is only the mantles of our ,peers that descend hereditarily upon the shoulders of succeeding generations2 and some of these mantles look dingy enough to date their origin from the time when ,henry ,,iii4 established ,tothill-fields ,fair1 in order to spite the ,londoners4 ,the latter1 it will be remembered1 were compelled to close their shops for an entire fortnight during the holding of the fair in ,westminster2 and the man on ,tower ,hill who wanted to furnish his outward or inward person with the smallest article was compelled to resort for it to the neighbourhood of the ,abbey1 or to do without till the fair was raised4 ,the taste of the ,anglo-,saxons was rather of a splendid character1 but sometimes questionable4 ,a lady with blue hair1 for instance1 could not have been half so pleasant to look at as a lady with blue eyes2 though the custom of dyeing the hair blue was perhaps scarcely more objectionable than that of the young ladies and gentlemen of ,gaul1 who washed theirs in a chalky solution1 in order to make it a more fiery red than it had been rendered by nature4 ,i may add that1 of the tasteful ,anglo-,saxons1 the nuns were the most especially tasteful2 and the gorgeous attire of the sisters1 with other attractions1 seems to have stirred the very hearts of some of the most stony of prelates4 ,many of the latter however were rigidly severe in their censures against the luxurious dressing of lively ,saxon nuns2 but their objurgations take very much the form of that delivered by ,tartuffe when he handed his kerchief to ,dorine3-- 8,couvrez ce sein que je ne saurais voir3 ,a de tels objets les yeux sont blesss1 ,et cela fait venir de coupables penses40 ,though it be necessary to consider climate and temperature in the matter of dress1 we have had weather1 even in ,england1 from the severity of which no dress could protect the wearer4 ,thus1 in the year #hea1 the winter became so suddenly cold and inclement1 and went on with such increasing severity1 that clothing afforded no warmth to the frame1 and the people were widely smitten by paralysis4 ,they suffered excruciating anguish in the limbs2 generally the arms and hands were first seized upon by the disease1 and those limbs usually became altogether withered and useless4 ,the paralysis respected neither rank1 age1 nor sex2 the highest dignitaries of the ,church did not escape1 though1 of course1 they miraculously recovered4 ,the clothiers of the period appear to have been as much puzzled to discover a material for useful wear that would meet the contingency1 as a modern tailor would find it difficult to take measure of the pulpy1 shapeless1 boneless being which ,professor ,whewell1 in his #8,plurality of ,worlds1' thinks may be existing in ,jupiter4 ,and he has a right to think so2 for1 on our own earth1 have we not had animals whose bones were on the outside1 and whose inward parts were all of cartilage8 ,they would have been pretty playthings for ,jupiter's emphatically soft nymphs and unvertebrated swains6 ,if the nuns of the ,anglo-,saxon times were given to gorgeousness1 the clergy were not at all uninclined to dandyism4 ,boniface himself denounced those priests who wore broad studs and images of worms1 as servants of ,antichrist4 ,garments so adorned are looked upon by the descendants of this great ,anglo-,saxon missionary as the undoubtedly original 8,m4 ,b4 coats40 ,the ,danes introduced fashions that sadly perplexed the simple tailors of all ,anglia4 ,the former1 in the days of their paganism1 were attired in garments as black as the raven which soared on their national standard4 ,when they came to ,england they learned to surpass the ,anglo-,saxons themselves in the gaiety of their apparel and manners4 ,they even took to combing their hair once a day2 became so effeminate as to wash weekly2 and changed their body-linen1 if not as often as they might1 still more frequently than was their wont of old4 8,by these means10 says old ,wallingford1 8they pleased the eyes of the women1 and frequently seduced the wives and daughters of the nobility40 ,alas1 that virtue should not be proof against even a half-washed seducer6 ,one of the greatest of the ,north ,sea chieftains derived his name from his dress1 and ,ragner ,lodbroch means ,ralph ,leatherbreeches4 ,the ,lethbridges of ,somersetshire are said to be descendants from this worthy4 ,they might go further in search of an ancestor and fare worse4 ,lodbroch delighted in blood and plunder2 wine he drank by the quart2 wealth he acquired by 8right of might20 he believed in little1 and feared even less4 ,a family anxious to assert its nobility could hardly do better than hold fast by such a hero4 ,many a genealogical tree springs from a less illustrious root4 ,the submission with which ,england received laws of fashion from ,france is seen in the circumstance that even before the ,conquest the ,english imported the 8mode0 from beyond ,channel1 and universally adopted it4 ,this was the case both in speech and dress4 ,the ,saxon tongue became as mute at the court of ,edward the ,confessor as the ,flemish language has around the throne of ,leopold of ,belgium4 ,the respectable sires however of the period did not make themselves so 8outlandish0 in their garb as did their sons2 yet when ,william tumbled on the sands at ,pevensey1 half the hostile array prepared to resist his coming1 as well as those who looked on and awaited the course of events1 were familiar with his form of speech and accustomed to his fashion of dress4 ,the fact that when ,william was agitated he invariably occupied himself in lacing and untying his cloak1 is at least as well worth knowing as that the great ,coligny under similar circumstances used to insert two or three toothpicks into his mouth1 and there champ them into pulp4 ,let us add1 that the ,normans shaved close and washed thoroughly2 and the dirty ,saxons might have found consolation in the circumstance that their throats were cut by cleanly gentlemen4 ,they were a costly people however1 those ,normans2 and they not only ruined the ,saxons1 but themselves1 by the extravagance of their dress1 and the ever-varying fashions to which they bore an alacrity of allegiance4 ,some of our wealthiest men of ,norman descent1 or fancying themselves to be so1 adopt in these days a fashion common enough in the period of the ,norman ,kings1 wearing a plumed helm on parade for show1 and a 8wide-awake0 elsewhere for comfort4 ,the ,normans even took the venerated smock-frock of the ,saxons1 and modifying it a little1 and lining it with fur for the winter1 they wore it as a surcoat over their armour1 and called it by the name of bliaus4 ,any gentleman therefore who wears a blouse and a wide-awake may fancy himself1 if he please1 as being attired like a ,norman knight4 ,well1 in spite of the strength of his fancy and the sameness of the articles in question1 he will be as little like to ,norman cavalier 8as ,i to ,hercules40 ,i have said that the ,normans generally were remarkable for the splendour and variety of their costume2 ,i may add that some of the ,saxons were in no degree behind them4 ,there is ,becket1 for instance1 the champion of the ,saxons and advocate of the ,commons4 ,when that remarkably humble man went on his famous progress to ,paris1 the rustics observed1 as he rode meekly along1 that the king of ,england must be a marvellous personage indeed1 seeing that his ,lord ,chancellor looked more like a king on his throne than a traveller in the saddle4 ,he was as stately in dress at home as abroad2 and he never forgave ,king ,henry for tearing from his shoulders his splendid new scarlet mantle lined with fur1 to fling it to a shivering beggar at his side4 ,excellent practical lesson1 it may be observed4 ,well1 it assuredly was all the practical charity ever evinced by the king4 ,and moreover it was inappropriate4 ,we all laughed when the angelic ,irving subscribed his gold watch to some benevolent fund2 and we should feel no particular increase of respect for our ,sovereign and the ,lord ,primate if they were to stand at ,temple ,bar1 and the former were to distribute the wardrobe of the latter among the mendicants who pass beneath that hideously ridiculous arch4 ,foppery in dress was at its height in the reign of ,henry ,,iii41 when men half-ruined themselves in order that they might dress in vestments of the magnificent material called cloth of ,baldekins1 or of ,baldeck1 the usually received term for ,babylon4 ,the rich ,cyclas of this time were also named from the locality where the material was manufactured1--a custom common enough1 as may be seen in the names ,worsted1 ,blanket1 ,cambric1 ,diaper 7d',yprs71 ,bayonet1 and many others4 ,the general love of dress1 and the wealth manifested by the grandeur of the latter1 made ,innocent ,,iv4 to speak of ,england as a 8garden of delights10 and a 8truly inexhaustible fountain of riches40 ,from this fountain his ,holiness drank many a draught2 and they who were compelled to supply it wished it might choke him4 ,but ,innocent made cheap compensation to ,england by conferring on it the signal honour of adopting its old national 8wide-awake10 and after dyeing it red1 conferring it on his ,cardinals4 ,the scarlet wide-awake was first worn at the ,council of ,lyons1 in #abde4 ,the ,cardinals did not exhibit their accustomed vigilance when they permitted the fashion of this covering to glide from that of the wide-awake into that of the 8broad-brim0 of the ,society of ,friends4 ,but perhaps it is because of its present fashion that ,mr4 ,bright1 who loves ,russia and hates the press1 has such respect for ,rome and such welcome for her aggressions4 8,why do you not wear richer apparel80 once asked a familiar friend of ,edward ,i4 8,because10 said the sensible king1 8,i cannot be more estimable in fine than ,i am in simple clothing40 ,if the monarch had only shown as much sense in other matters1 he would have been a more profitable king to the state1 however little beneficial he may have been to tailors4 ,it was1 of course1 the fashion now to be rather simply dressed2 but there were occasional departures from the rule3 such as when the young ,prince ,edward was invested as a knight1 on which occasion the ,temple ,gardens were crowded with the young nobility1 his 8companions10 who assembled there to receive a magnificent distribution of purple robes1 fine linen garments1 and mantles woven with gold4 ,the two latter were furnished by the merchant-tailors2 and these1 no doubt1 blessed the donor as heartily as the trade would now do1 were her ,majesty to assemble the heirs and younger sons of ,peers1 have them measured in public1 and dressed at her expense for the benefit of trade4 ,there are many younger sons who would be as rejoiced thereat as the tailors themselves4 ,old ,kit ,marlowe1 and doubtless from good authority1 has graphically described not only ,edward the ,second1 but that fine gentleman1 his favourite ,gaveston4 ,of the latter he says3-- 8,i have not seen a dapper ,jack so brisk2 ,he wears a short ,italian hooded cloak ,larded with pearl1 and in his ,tuscan cap ,a jewel of more value than the crown40 ,and of ,edward1 ,mortimer is made to say3-- 8,when wert thou in the field with banner spread8 ,but once2 and then thy soldiers march'd like players1 ,with garish robes1 not armour2 and thyself1 ,bedaub'd with gold1 rode laughing at the rest1 ,nodding and shaking of thy spangled crest1 ,where women's favours hung like labels down40 ,if the ,norman ,kings up to the period of ,edward ,i4 had encouraged a costly extravagance of dress1 there was another ,norman habit which had spread among the people generally1 and quite as much to their cost1--the wretched habit of swearing4 ,to that people might well be applied the assertion1 that they were covered with curses as with a garment4 ,the ,saxons were astounded at the variety and intensity of these oaths4 ,they had not been accustomed to such profanity2 but as the conquerors1 and particularly the kings1 swore whenever they spoke1 why to use oaths was to put on the air of a conqueror and gentleman1 and so a species of ,norman pride kept oaths in vigour among the lite of society until a very recent period2 but1 as ,mr4 ,robert ,acres remarks1 8the best terms will grow obsolete1 and ,damns have had their day40 ,how we progressed through execratory terms until this consummation was arrived at1 is very tersely told in an old epigram of ,sir ,john ,harrington's3-- 8,in elder times an ancient custom was ,to swear1 in weighty matters1 by the mass2 ,but when the mass went down1 as old men note1 ,they swore then by the cross of this same groat4 ,and when the cross was likewise held in scorn1 ,then by their faith the common oath was sworn2 ,last1 having sworn away all faith and troth1 ,only #8,g--d damn them' is their common oath4 ,thus custom kept decorum by gradation1 ,that losing mass1 cross1 faith1 they find damnation40 ,henry ,i4 was surrounded by a crowd of friends1 whose dresses were splendid and whose principles were detestable1--not to say 8devilish40 ,these were the 8,effeminati40 ,they were like the 8mignons0 of the ,french ,king ,henri1 and acquired their appellation from the fact of dressing nearly after the fashion of women4 ,their tunics were deep-sleeved1 and their mantles long-trained4 ,the peaks of their shoes were not only enormously long1 but twisted so as to represent the horns of a ram or the coils of a serpent4 ,their peaks1 introduced by ,fulk1 ,earl of ,anjou1 to conceal his misshapen feet1 were stuffed with tow2 and certainly1 were any earl or other gentleman now to enter a drawing-room thus remarkably shod1 he would himself be taken in tow 7if ,i may be so bold as to say so71 and conveyed before a tribunal de lunatico inquirendo4 ,the ,effeminati1 like the ,french 8mignons10 wore their hair long1 smooth1 and parted in the middle2 and they were not only unpleasantly unnatural to look at1 but were horribly so in their deeds4 ,the foreign knights and visitors who came to ,windsor in ,edward the ,first's reign1 and brought with them a continual succession of varying fashions1 turned the heads of the young with delight1 and of the old with disgust4 ,douglas1 the monk of ,glastonbury1 is especially denunciative and satirical on this point4 ,he says that in the horrible variety of costume1--8now long1 now large1 now wide1 now straight10--the style of dress was 8destitute and devert from all honesty of old arraye or good usage40 ,it is all1 he says1 8so nagged and knibbed on every side1 and all so shattered and also buttoned1 that ,i with truth shall say1 they seem more like to tormentors or devils in their clothing1 and also in their shoying and other array1 than they seemed to be like men40 ,and the old monk had good foundation for his complaint2 and the ,commons themselves having1 what the ,commons now have not1 a dread of becoming as extravagant as their betters in the article of dress1 actually sought the aid of ,parliament4 ,that august assembly met the complaint by restricting the use of furs and furls to the royal family and nobles worth one thousand per annum4 ,knights and ladies worth four hundred marks yearly1 were permitted to deck themselves in cloths of gold and silver1 and to wear certain jewellery4 ,poor knights1 squires1 and damsels were prohibited from appearing in the costume of those of higher degree4 ,as for the ,commons themselves1 they could put on nothing better than unadorned woollen cloth2 and if an apprentice or a milliner had been bold enough to wear a ring on the finger1 it was in peril of a decree that it should be taken off1--not the finger1 but the ring1--with confiscation of the forbidden finery4 ,the consequence was that the ,commons1 being under prohibition to put on finery1 became smitten with a strong desire to assume it2 and much did they rejoice when they were ruled over by so consummate a fop as ,richard of ,bordeaux4 ,all classes were content to do what many classes joyfully do in our own days1--dress beyond their means2 and we find in old ,harding's #8,chronicle' that not only were 8,yemen and gromes in cloth of silk arrayed1 ,sattin and damask1 in doublettes and in gownnes10 but that all this1 as well as habits of 8cloth of greene and scarleteen1--cut work and brodwar1 was all10 as the ,chronicler expresses it1 8for unpayed20 that is1 was not paid for4 ,so that very many among us do not so much despise the wisdom afforded us by the example of our ancestors as didactic poets and commonplace honest writers falsely allege them to do4 ,and those ancestors of ,richard the ,second's time were especially given to glorify themselves in parti-coloured garments of white and red1 such being the colours of the ,king's livery 7as blue and white were those of ,john of ,gaunt72 and they who wore these garments1 sometimes of half-a-dozen colours in each1 why they looked1 says an old writer1 8as though the fire of ,st4 ,anthony1 or some such mischance10 had cankered and eaten into half their bodies4 ,the long-toed shoes1 held up to the knee by a chain and hook1 were called crackowes1 the fashion thereof coming from ,cracow in ,poland4 ,the not less significant name of 8devil's receptacles0 were given to the wide sleeves of this reign1 for the reason1 as the ,monk of ,evesham tells us1 that whatever was stolen was thrust into them4 ,the fashion of clothes has long ceased to mark the position of the wearer4 ,on this subject1 ,fuller says in his #8,church ,history1' when treating of the time of ,edward ,,iii41 that 8some had a project that men's clothes might be their signs to show their birth1 degree1 or estate1 so that the quality of an unknown person might1 at the first sight1 be expounded by his apparel4 ,but this was at once let fall as impossible3 statesmen in all ages1 notwithstanding their several laws to the contrary1 being fain to connive at men's riot in this kind1 which maintaineth more poor people than their charity40 ,distinction in dress1 it will be remembered1 was not allowed by ,more in his ,utopia4 8,all the island over10 he says1 8they make their own clothes1 without any other distinction than that which is necessary for marking the difference between the two sexes1 and the married and unmarried4 ,the fashion never alters2 and as it is not ungrateful nor uneasy1 so it is fitted for their climate1 and calculated both for their summers and winters4 ,every family makes their own clothes2 but all among them1 women as well as men1 learn one or other of the trades formerly mentioned40 ,a costume suitable for all conditions of the seasons1 were a consummation that will long be among the things to be devoutly wished for1 and never attained4 ,it was once the fashion to wear coats1 the material for which had not long before been on the back of the sheep4 ,for rapidity of work in this way1 ,i know nothing that can compete with the achievement of ,coxeter of ,greenham ,mills1 near ,newbury4 ,he had a couple of ,south ,down sheep shorn at his factory1 at five o'clock in the morning2 the wool thus produced was put through the usual processes2 and by a quarter past six in the evening1 it resulted in a complete damson-coloured coat1 which was worn at an evening party1 by ,sir ,john ,throckmorton4 ,a wager for a thousand guineas was won by this feat1 with three-quarters of an hour to spare4 ,the sheep were roasted whole1 and devoured at a splendid banquet4 ,in one day they afforded comfort to both the inner and outward man4 ,we have often been told1 that 8,beauty1 when unadorned1 is adorned the most20 and there is much truth in that wholesome apothegm4 ,beauty indeed needs to be dressed2 but ,prudence should be her handmaiden4 ,in illustration of the excellence of this counsel1 ,i may quote what happened to two young ladies and one lover in the days of chivalry4 ,in those days there lived an old noble1 rich in two daughters1 and in nought besides4 ,of these1 he promised one to a young knight1 who was wealthy and idle1 and who--strange characteristic of young and gallant knight6--was well content to be saved the trouble of wooing4 ,on a certain fine morning the sire made the same announcement to his girls which the father of ,dinah made to that now celebrated and unhappy young lady1--namely1 the necessity of decking themselves in their most seductive array1 as there was a lover on the road who would dine with them that day4 ,now1 if the morning was fine1 there was also an eager and a nipping air abroad2 but the elder of the two damsels1 disregarding the temperature1 and thinking only how best to display her slender waist and graceful shape1 put on a 8cote hardie20 and in this close-fitting garment1 without an inch of fur to lend it warmth1 she accompanied her sister to the portal1 to bid welcome to the lover1 looking for a lady of his love4 ,but that sister was attired with reference to the condition of the thermometer1 if her father had one1 which is exceedingly doubtful4 ,she was warmly clad2 and if her figure was concealed by her mantle1 the result of such covering was1 that her young blood1 in circulating1 left a rose upon her cheeks1 and did not fix itself1 in obstinate stagnation1 as in her more airy sister's case1 on the tip of the nose4 ,now a red nose is not fascinating2 and the knight's choice was soon made4 ,he gave his hand to the maiden who had shown most sense in the choice of attire1 and a very merry wedding was the speedy consequence4 ,as for what turned up in the way of further results1 it was1 ,i believe1 chiefly the nose of the unsuccessful candidate1 which became 8retrouss en permanence04 ,the moral of the tale is respectfully recommended to the notice of all young ladies who seek to catch ardent knights on wintry mornings4 ,if the men in the days of ,edward ,,iii4 wore 8tails behind10 as well as beards before1 the ladies were not behind them in extravagance--in tails2 and indeed in other matters4 ,for a lady to ride on a palfrey1 and not on a charger1 would have been considered as derogatory as for a bridesmaid1 in our days1 to 8spoil her prospects0 by going to a wedding in a one-horse fly4 ,the damsels of this age very much affected the dress of the men1 and we have seen the same affectation in our own time2 and this fashion was pushed to such an extreme1 that they even carried two tiny daggers in the pouches of their embroidered zones4 ,their head-dress still lingers among the female peasantry of ,normandy1 and may be recognized in the species of mitre cap1 of enormous height1 from the summit of which streamers float in the air like pennants from the masts of some 8tall amiral40 ,it may be added1 that if1 in many respects1 the dresses of the women resembled those of the men1 their deeds1 too1 were like theirs2 and these were often 7like the dresses7 none of the cleanest4 ,we will discuss the progress of these matters in a new chapter4 ,,adonis ,,at ,,home ,,and ,,abroad4 ,,part ,,ii4 8,la modestie1 la plus touchante des vertus1 est encore la plus sduisante des parures40--,,mad4 ,,cottin3 ,mathilde4 ,the ,jews were undoubtedly an ill-fated people4 ,in ,london1 in the olden time1 whenever any class had a grievance1 the work of redress was commenced by slaying the ,hebrews4 ,in the reign of ,henry ,,iii4 the municipality of ,london and a portion of the nobility were dreadfully incensed against ,queen ,eleanor2 and to show their indignation1 they not only plundered and murdered scores of common ,israelites1 but the ,city ,marshal and ,baron ,fitz-,john repaired to the residence of ,kok ben ,abraham1 the wealthiest ,hebrew in the city1 where the noble lord ran his sword through the body of the child of the synagogue1 laughing the while as if the jest were a good one4 ,certainly1 this was a strange method of showing a political bias2 and it would be no jest now if ,lord ,winchelsea1 for instance1 angry at the desire of the ,crown to admit ,jews into ,parliament1 were to rush down to the city and plunge his paper-cutter into the diaphragm of poor ,baron ,rothschild4 ,in the case above alluded to1 not only were some four hundred of the devoted race robbed and killed1 but the mob1 satiated with savagery1 determined to wind up their well-spent evening with a frolic4 ,accordingly they turned out of their beds all the ,jews1 of various ages and both sexes1 and compelled them to walk the streets throughout the entire night1 with nothing on but their 8bed-gowns40 ,this was scant dress enough in those times1 and there was no active police to afford the victims protection4 ,i notice this incident1 because it comes fairly under the head of costume4 ,i think1 moreover1 that all the police in the city at the present time would be puzzled what to do1 were the last night of an election1 returning 8,sir ,solomon0 at the head of the poll1 to be signalled out by a riot1 the climax of which presented all the ,levys1 ,goldschmidts1 ,isaacs1 and ,marx1 of 8,simmery ,axe10--wives and husbands1 sons and daughters1--compulsorily parading through ,cheapside in their night-gear4 ,between the blushes of ,miss ,tryphena ,levy1 and the indignation of ,mr4 ,penuel ,isaacs her admirer1 the gallant and loud-laughing ,division ,x4 would hardly know which victim to succour first4 ,such a cortge however would probably bring into fashion the 8bonnets de nuit la ,juive40 ,our gallant knights of old thought it no degradation to receive clothes at the hands of the king4 ,when ,henry ,,iv4 dubbed some four dozen the day before his coronation1 he made presents to all of long green coats1 with tight sleeves1 furred1 and verdant hoods3 the cavaliers must have looked like cucumbers4 ,the sumptuary laws of this reign had this additional severity in them1 that they decreed imprisonment during the ,king's pleasure against any tailor who should dare to make for a commoner a costume above his degree4 ,the tailors1 like wise men1 did not ask their customers whether they were gentle or simple2 and burghers dressed as before1 more splendidly than barons4 ,there was this difference between the two wretched monarchs1 ,john and ,richard ,,iii4 ,john was curious about his wife's dress1 and careless touching his own2 whereas ,richard 7who was not half so bad as history and ,mr4 ,c4 ,kean represent him7 was perhaps the most superbly royal dandy that ever sat on an ,english throne3 ,george ,,iv4 was the mere ,dandini to that ,prince ,ramiro4 ,henry ,,vii41 again1 was utterly void of taste1 and seems to have wanted a nurse more than a valet4 ,the author of the #8,boke of ,kervynge' says to the 8proper officer0 of this king1 in a sort of advice to servants1 8,warme your soveregne his petticotte1 his doublet1 and his stomacher1 and then put on hys hozen1 and then hys schose or slyppers2 then stryten up hys hozen mannerly1 tye them up1 and lace his doublet hole by hole40 ,we have an illustration of the national feeling with regard to dress in ,henry ,,viii4's time1 in the story of ,drake1 the cordwainer4 ,john ,drake1 the ,norwich shoemaker1 was resolved to dress1 for once1 like a knight2 and accordingly he betook himself to ,sir ,philip ,calthrop's tailor1 and seeing some fine ,french tawney cloth lying there1 which the cavalier had sent to have made into a gown1--gentlemen then1 as now1 it seems1 sometimes found 8their own materials10--the aspiring ,crispin ordered a gown of the same stuff and fashion4 ,the knight1 on calling at the tailor's1 saw the two parcels of 8materials10 and inquired as to the proprietary of the second4 8,the stuff10 said the master1 8is ,john ,drake's1 the ,norwich shoemaker1 who will have a gown of the same fashion as your valiant worship40 8,will he so80 asked proud ,sir ,philip2 8then fashion mine as full of cuts as thy shears can make it1 and let the two be alike1 as ordered40 ,he was obeyed2 but when ,john ,drake looked wonderingly upon his aristocratic garment1 and saw the peculiar mode thereof1 and was moreover told the reason therefor1 he rubbed his bullet-head vexedly1 and remarked1 8,by my latchet1 an it be so ,john ,drake will never ask for gentleman's fashion again40 ,i have spoken in my #8,table ,traits' of how a ,french knight gained a livelihood by making salads2 ,i may notice here that a ,flemish frau1 ,dingham van der ,plafze1 did the same by starching ruffs in ,london1 in ,queen ,elizabeth's time4 ,she gave lessons to the nobility at four or five pounds the course for each pupil1 and an additional pound for showing them how to make the starch4 ,the nobility of course patronized her2 being a foreigner1 the duchesses accounted her 8divine40 ,people of the commonalty1 with as much wisdom1 esteemed her as a devil2 and starch itself was looked upon as a sort of devil's broth4 ,the women who wore ruffs were looked upon as anything but respectable2 and the men who placed around the neck the 8monstrous ruff1 of twelve1 yea sixteen1 lengths apiece1 set three or four times double10 were accounted of as having made 8three steps and a half to the gallows40 ,james ,i41 and his subjects who wished to clothe themselves loyally1 wore stupendous breeches4 ,of course the 8honourable gentlemen0 of the ,house of ,commons were necessarily followers of the fashion4 ,but it led to inconveniences in the course of their senatorial duties4 ,it was an old mode revived2 and at an earlier day1 when these nether garments were ample enough to have covered the lower man of ,boanerges1 the comfort of the popular representatives was thus cared for3--8,over the seats in the parliament-house1 there were certain holes1 some two inches square1 in the walls1 in which were placed posts to uphold a scaffold round about the house within1 for them to sit upon who used the wearing of great breeches stuffed with hair like wool-sacks1 which fashion being left the eighth year of ,elizabeth1 the scaffolds were taken down1 and never since put up40 ,so says ,strutt2 but doubtless the comforts of the members were not less cared for when the old fashion again prevailed4 ,the honourable gentlemen must have looked as if they were worshipping ,cloacina rather than propitiating the god of ,eloquence4 8,when ,sir ,peter ,wych10 says ,bulwer1 in his #8,pedigree of an ,english ,gallant1' 8was sent ambassador to the ,grand ,seigneur1 from ,james ,i41 his lady accompanied him to ,constantinople1 and the ,sultaness having heard much of her1 desired to see her2 whereupon ,lady ,wych1 attended by her waiting-women1 all of them dressed in their great vardingales1 which was the court dress of the ,english ladies of that time1 waited upon her highness4 ,the ,sultaness received her visitors with great respect2 but1 struck with the extraordinary extension of the hips of the whole party1 seriously inquired if that shape was peculiar to the natural formation of ,englishwomen2 and ,lady ,wych was obliged to explain the whole mystery of the dress1 in order to convince her that she and her companions were not really so deformed as they appeared to be40 ,lady ,wych probably did not look more astounding to the ,turks than the ,marchioness of ,londonderry did to those of some thirty years ago1 when she traversed the courts of the ,sultan's palace in the full undress of a lady of the 8,regent's ,drawing ,room40 ,both these ladies were ambassadresses1 and they remind me of the ,english nobleman in the reign of ,anne1 who was informed that he had been appointed representative of his sovereign at the court of the ,sultan4 8,oh60 he exclaimed1 8,i can never undertake it1 ,i should look so absurd and awkward in women's clothes60 ,he seriously thought that to represent his mistress he must be dressed as she was6 ,but ,i shall say more of ,anne hereafter4 ,i have here to exhibit ,oliver2 ,charles1 as we all know1 was a gentleman1 at all events in dress4 ,in that respect ,cromwell differed from him4 8,the first time that ,i ever took notice of ,oliver ,cromwell10 says ,sir ,philip ,warwick1 8was in the beginning of the ,parliament held in ,november1 #afdj1 when ,i vainly thought myself a courtly young gentleman1 for we courtiers valued ourselves much upon our good clothes4 ,i came one morning into the house well clad1 and perceived a gentleman speaking whom ,i knew not1 very ordinarily apparelled1 for it was a plain cloth suit which seemed to have been made by an ill country tailor4 ,his linen was plain1 and not very clean2 and ,i remember a speck or two of blood upon his little band1 which was not much larger than his collar4 ,his hat was without a hatband2 his stature was of good size2 his sword stuck close to his side40 ,altogether it is clear that ,oliver was a trifle slovenly1 and sometimes unsteady enough of hand to cut himself when shaving4 ,about the year #affj-a1 we find our old friend ,mr4 ,pepys gradually soaring in the sky of fashion4 ,he had been content with camlet1 then he gets him a suit of cloth with broad skirts1 and adds the unheard-of atrocity of rakish buckles to his shoes4 ,subsequently he enshrines his little person in silk2 ultimately rises to the dignity of a velvet coat2 and on a 8,lord's ,day10 in ,february1 he writes down that 8this day ,i first began to go forth in my coate and sword1 as the manner now among gentlemen is40 8,among gentlemen60 quotha2 and his sire the tailor was yet alive1 and his cousin ,tom ,pepys was an honest turner1 and sold mousetraps6 ,a velvet coat was not for every-day wear by a clerk in the ,admiralty1 and ,pepys had his by him a full half-year before he had the heart to surprise the world and gratify himself by the wearing of it4 ,nor could ,peers walk every day in velvet and embroidery in ,coleman-street1 seeing that the cost of a suit was not under #bjj4 ,they were content to go occasionally like the ,king at the ,council ,board--in a plain common riding-suit and a velvet cap2--not half so fine as the livery of ,pepys's own boy1 8which is very handsome1 and ,i do think to keep the black and gold lace upon grey1 being the colour of my arms1 for ever40 ,the 8colour of his arms60 ,this reminds me of the rejoinder of ,russell1 the porter at the old ,piazza1 who1 on being asked if his coat-of-arms was the same as that of the ,duke of ,bedford1 replied that as for their arms they might be pretty well alike1 but that there was a deal of difference between their coats6 ,pepys was however as proud as a popinjay1 as the manner then among gentlemen was2 and his man ,will imitated his master4 ,tel matre1 tel valet4 ,see what he says of an occurrence which he notices on 8,lord's ,day10 ,june #h1 #affb4 8,home1 and observe my man ,will to walk with his cloak flung over his shoulder1 which1 whether it was that he might not be seen to walk along with the footboy1 ,i knew not1 but ,i was vexed at it2 and coming home1 and after prayers1 ,i did ask him where he learned that immodest garb2 and he answered me that it was not immodest1 or some such slight answer1 at which ,i did give him two boxes on the eares1 which ,i never did before40 ,but the transgressor forgot his fault1 in his gratification a few ,sundays after in going to church with his wife1--8who this day put on her green petticoate of flowred sattin1 with the white and black gimp lace of her own putting on1 which is very pretty40 ,i fear that our ancestors thought as much upon matters of dress at church as any of their descendants4 ,to what an extent this feeling was carried may be seen in the case of ,pepys1 who1 seeing ,captain ,holmes in his pew in a new gold-laced suit1 was so chagrined that a disquisition upon damnation failed to put him into spirits4 ,the feelings of both husband and wife were very sensitive touching costume2 for does he not tell us1 on one occasion1 that on a certain visit being paid them1 they 8were ashamed that she should be seen in a taffeta gown when all the world wears moyre08 ,the gentleman's eyes indeed had just been regaled by a sight of the 8,russian ,embassador10--8in the richest suit for pearl and tissue that ever ,i did see40 ,the envoy appears to have been an exceedingly well-dressed barbarian2 and the ,muscovite officials of our own day are in no respect behind him4 ,felony and mendacity would seem to be accounted of as pchs mignons by those gentlemen who wear polished boots and profess honest principles1 with coats like ,count d',orsay's1 and hearts beneath them like ,jack ,sheppard's4 ,after all1 the pearl and tissue of the ,russ was not half so tasteful as ,lord ,sandwich's 8gold-buttoned suit1 as the mode is20 and ,pepys took to the fashion1 buying fine clothes1 and half afraid to wear them1 yet rejoicing that he is not now 8for want of them1 forced to sneak like a beggar40 ,a camlet suit for common wear then cost him four-and-twenty pounds6 ,but ,pepys had fits of extravagance as well as economy4 ,the former however were generally born of patriotism3 witness his buying 8a coloured silk ferrandin suit1 for joy of the good news we have lately had of our victory over the ,dutch40 ,about the time above specified1 the ,court of ,spain was remarkable for its gravity of dress4 ,the king and grandees wore simple mantles of ,colchester baize2 and in winter1 the mantles of the seoras were of no more costly material than white flannel4 ,thereupon ,english and ,dutch handicraftsmen repaired to ,madrid1 in order to establish a manufactory of these articles4 ,the men engaged were sober1 religious men2 and they had with them ,psalters and ,testaments1 and they were given to be glad in spiritual songs1 and to solace their weariness with a refreshing draught from the ,gospels4 ,thereupon the ,inquisition fell upon them1 destroyed their houses1 and imprisoned the workmen4 ,had these been ,atheists1 the 8,holy ,office0 would not have molested them in their manufactory of baizes and flannels2 but as they dared to worship ,god in sincerity of heart and independence of mind1 the ,cahills and ,wisemans of the pure and enlightened ,peninsula ruined them in bodily estate1 and sent their souls to ,gehenna4 ,louis ,,xiv4 was quite as arbitrary and absurd on a matter of fashion4 ,charles ,,ii4 of ,england was the inventor of the 8vest dress40 ,it consisted of a long cassock which fitted close to the body1 of black cloth1 8pinked0 with white silk under it1 and a coat over all2 the legs were ruffled with black ribbon1 like a pigeon's leg2 and the white silk piercing the black made the wearers look1 as ,charles himself confessed1 very much like magpies4 ,but all the world put it on1 because it had been fashioned by a monarch2 and gay men thought it exquisite1 and grave men pronounced it 8comely and manly40 ,charles declared he would never alter it1 while his courtiers 8gave him gold by way of wagers1 that he would not persist in his resolution40 ,louis ,,xiv4 showed his contempt for the new mode and the maker of it1 by ordering all his footmen to be put into vests4 ,this caused great indignation in ,england1 but it had a marked effect in another way3 for ,charles and our aristocracy1 not caring to look like ,french footmen1 soon abandoned the new costume4 ,this reminds me of a foolish interference of ,louis ,,xvi4 in a matter of dress4 ,in the days of our grandfathers there was nothing so fashionable for summer wear as nankeen4 ,no gentleman would be seen abroad or at home in a dress of which this material did not go to the making of a portion2 and as we ever fixed the fashion on questions of male costume1 the mode was adopted in ,france1 and ,english nankeens threatened to drive all ,french manufactured articles of summer wear out of the market4 ,the king however surmounted the difficulty3 he ordered all the executioners and their assistants to perform their terrible office in no other dress but one of nankeen4 ,this rendered the material 8infamous20 and many a man who deserved to be hanged1 discarded the suit because a similar one was worn by the man who did the hanging4 ,so ,mrs4 ,turner1 the poisoner1 being executed in the reign of ,james ,i4 in a yellow starched ruff1 put to death the fashion of wearing them4 ,picturesqueness of costume went out with chivalry2 and few things could be uglier than an ,englishman of ,james the ,second's or of ,william and ,mary's days1 except an ,englishman of our own tight and buttoned period4 ,a hundred years ago it would have been unsafe to have sold a plaid waistcoat in either ,rag ,fair or ,houndsditch4 ,in #ageb ,mr4 ,thornton said in the ,house of ,commons1 that 8he believed it true1 plaid waistcoats had been worn by some wrong heads in the country2 but in the parts where he lived he saw no occasion for an army to correct them0 7he was speaking against a standing army71 8for some that had attempted to wear them had been heartily thrashed for doing so40 ,in the same year it is worthy of remark that we were exporting gold and silver bullion to the ,continent2 not indeed at the rate at which we are now importing it1 especially the former1 but still in quantities that seem almost incredible4 ,the metal-import question as it stood then excites a smile in those who read it now4 ,for example1 among the current news given by our juvenile friend1 ,sylvanus ,urban1 in his volume for #ageb1 we learn that 8a parcel of waistcoats embroidered with foreign gold and silver 7which were lately seized at a tailor's house1 who must pay the penalty of #ajj1 pursuant to ,act of ,parliament71 were publicly burnt in presence of the custom-house officers and others40 ,the steeple head-dresses of ,anne and the first ,george's days came under the notice of ,addison1 in the #8,spectator4' ,he compares them with the commodes1 or towers1 of his time4 ,speaking of the former1 he tells us that the women would have carried their head-structures much higher had it not been for the preaching of a monk named ,concete4 ,the good and zealous man preached with more effect than ,rowland ,hill did1 when he inveighed from the pulpit against ,mrs4 ,hill's top-knots4 ,so logically did he prove that steeple head-dresses were devices of the devil1 that they who wore them were the devil's daughters1 and that after this life the everlasting home of the latter would be with their father1 that the ladies1 in a fit of religious enthusiasm1 cast off the denounced decorations during the summer1 and made a bonfire of them after it was over4 ,it must have been a pretty fire in which pride was burned1 for the congregation amounted to something like ten thousand women1 with as many male hearers2 from which it is to be supposed that the preaching took place in the open air4 ,if only half the ladies committed their caps to the flames1 it was1 no doubt1 a glad sight to the makers of the caps4 ,they were sure that if fashion went out in one blaze1 it would rise phnix-like from the flames of that fire or another4 ,for a time however1 these exaggerated head-dresses were excommunicated2 and it was as unsafe for a lady to appear in one in public1 as it would be for a lady to make a tour through the liberty of ,dublin on the #abth of ,july1 clad entirely in materials of ,orange hue1 and singing at the top of her voice the exasperating song of #8,boyne ,water4' ,she would assuredly be pelted1 as they were pelted by the religious and unfashionable rabble1 who1 years ago1 if they could tolerate sin1 were shocked at the sight of tall gay caps1 which had been denounced by a short grave friar4 ,but the milliners had not long to wait unemployed4 ,as soon as the monk had turned his back1 the needlewomen were again set to work2 and 8countless 'prentices expired0 in the efforts made to execute the orders4 8,the women10 says ,monsieur ,paradin1 8who had1 like snails in a fright1 drawn in their horns1 shot them out again as soon as the danger was over40 ,when ,walpole had been to ,king ,george the ,second's ,levee and ,drawing-room1 in #agdb1 he wrote of what he witnessed in this lively fashion3--8,there were so many new faces that ,i scarce knew where ,i was2 ,i should have taken it for ,carleton ,house1 or my ,lady ,mayoress's visiting day1 only the people did not seem enough at home1 but rather as admitted to see the ,king dine in public4 ',tis quite ridiculous to see the numbers of old ladies1 who1 from having been wives of patriots1 have not been dressed these twenty years2 out they come1 in all the accoutrements that were in use in ,queen ,anne's days4 ,then the joy and awkward jollity of them is inexpressible4 ,they titter1 and wherever you meet them1 they are always going to court1 and looking at their watches an hour before the time4 ,i met several on the birthday 7for ,i did not arrive time enough to make clothes71 and they were dressed in all the colours of the rainbow3 they seem to have said to themselves twenty years ago1 #8,well1 if ever ,i do go to court again1 ,i will have a pink and silver1 or a blue and silver2' and they keep their resolution40 ,walpole is quite right in designating the gaiety of the women as an awkward jollity4 ,rough enjoyment was a fashion at this time with the fair4 ,mrs4 ,sherwood1 in her pleasant ,autobiography1 adverts to this subject in speaking of her mother's early days1 when undignified amusements were not declined by ladies of any age4 ,one of these she describes as consisting of the following sort of violent fun4 ,a large strong table-cloth was spread on the upper steps of the staircase1 and upon this cloth the ladies inclined to the frolic seated themselves in rows upon the steps4 ,then the gentlemen1 or the men1 took hold of the lower end of the cloth1 attempting to pull it downstairs2 the ladies resisted this with all their might1 and the greater the number of these delicate creatures the longer the struggle was protracted4 ,the contest1 however1 invariably ended by the cloth and the ladies being pulled down to the bottom of the stairs1 when everything was found bruised1 except modesty4 #8,high ,life below ,stairs' could hardly have been too rampant in its exposition1 if it really reflected what was going on above4 ,we can hardly realize the matter4 ,we hardly do so in merely fancying we see good ,lord ,shaftesbury ,admiral ,gambier1 ,baptist ,noel1 and ,dr4 ,m',neil engaged in settling ,miss ,martineau1 ,catherine ,sinclair1 the 8,authoress of ,amy ,herbert10 and ,mrs4 ,fry on a table-cloth upon the stairs1 and hauling them down in a heap to the bottom4 ,it would be highly indecorous2 but1 ,i am almost ashamed to say1 ,i should like to see it4 ,in #agdh ,george ,,ii4 happened to see that gallant ,french equestrian1 the ,duchess of ,bedford1 on horseback1 in a riding-habit of blue turned up with white4 ,at that time there was a discussion on foot1 touching a general uniform for the navy3 the appearance of the ,duchess settled the question4 ,george ,,ii4 was so delighted with her ,grace's appearance1 that he commanded the adoption of those colours2 and that accounts perhaps for the fact1 that sailors on a spree are ever given to getting upon horseback1 where they do not at all look like the ,duchess whose colours they wear4 ,taste was undoubtedly terribly perverted in this century4 ,some ladies took their footmen with them into their box at the play2 others married actors1 and their noble fathers declared they would have more willingly pardoned their daughters had they married lacqueys rather than players4 ,a daughter of the ,earl of ,abingdon married ,gallini the ballet-master1 of whom ,george ,,iii4 made a 8,sir ,john02 and ,lady ,harriet ,wentworth did actually commit the madness of marrying her footman1--a madness that had much method in it4 ,this lady1 the daughter of ,lord ,rockingham1 transacted this matter in the most business-like way imaginable4 ,she settled a hundred a year for life on her husband1 but directed her whole fortune besides to pass to her children1 should she have any2 otherwise1 to her own family4 ,she moreover 8provided for a separation1 and ensured the same pin-money to ,damon1 in case they part40 ,she gave away all her fine clothes1 and surrendered her titles3 8linen and gowns10 she said1 8were properest for a footman's wife20 and she went to her husband's family in ,ireland as plain ,mrs4 ,henrietta ,sturgeon4 ,it is characteristic of the manners of this period1 that ,lady ,harriet ,wentworth1 in marrying her footman1 was not considered as having so terribly drog as ,lady ,susan ,fox1 ,lord ,ilchester's daughter1 who in the same year1 #agfd1 married ,o',brien the actor1 a man well to do1 and who owned a villa at ,dunstable4 ,the actor had contrived something of the spirit of farce in carrying out his plot4 ,he succeeded so well in imitating the handwriting of ,lady ,susan's dearest friend1 ,lady ,sarah ,bunbury1 that ,lord ,ilchester delivered the letters to his daughter with his own hand1 and without suspicion4 ,the couple used to meet at ,miss ,read's1 the artist2--that is1 ,catherine ,read1 who painted whole bevies of our grandmothers1 and whose portraits of young ,queen ,charlotte and of that dreadful woman ,mrs4 ,macauley 7represented as a ,roman matron weeping over the lost liberties of her country7 were the delight of both connoisseurs and amateurs4 ,the meetings of the lovers became known to the lady's proud sire1 and terrible was the scene which ensued between the 8pre noble0 and the 8ingnue40 ,the latter however promised to break off all intercourse1 provided she were permitted to take one last farewell4 ,she waited a day or two1 till she was of age2 and then1 8instead of being under lock and key in the country1 walked downstairs1 took her footman1 said she was going to breakfast with ,lady ,sarah1 but would call at ,miss ,read's2 in the street1 pretended to recollect a particular cap in which she was to be drawn2 sent the footman back for it1 whipped into a hackney chair1 was married at ,covent ,garden ,church1 and set out for ,mr4 ,o',brien's villa at ,dunstable40 ,this marriage was1 as ,i have said1 thought worse of than if the bridegroom had been a lacquey4 ,the latter appear to have been in singular esteem1 dead or living4 ,thus we read that the ,duchess of ,douglas1 in #agfe1 having lost a favourite footman rather suddenly in ,paris1 she had him embalmed1 and went to ,england1 with the body of 8,jeames0 tied on in front of her chaise4 8,a droll way of being chief mourner10 says ,walpole1 who adds some droll things upon the ,english whom he encountered in journeying through ,france4 ,when half a mile from ,amiens1 he met a coach and four with an equipage of ,french1 and a lady in pea-green and silver1 a smart hat and feather1 and two suivantes4 8,my reason told me10 says the lively ,horace1 8it was the ,archbishop's concubine2 but luckily my heart whispered that it was ,lady ,mary ,coke4 ,i jumped out of my chaise1 fell on my knees1 and said my first ,ave ,maria1 grati plena60 ,the esteem of the ladies for their liveried servitors does not appear to have been in all cases reciprocal1 if we may believe a circumstance which took place at ,leicester ,house1 the residence of the ,prince of ,wales1 in #agdc1 when one of his ,royal ,highness's coachmen1 who used to drive the maids of honour1 was so sick of them1 that he left his son three hundred pounds upon condition that he never married a maid of honour6 ,there was laxity both of manners and dress as time went on2 and as we were an ill-dressed1 so were we an ill-washed people4 ,in the latter half of the last century we were distinguished as the only people in ,europe who sat down to dinner without 8dressing0 or washing of hands4 ,indeed we were for a long time 8not at all particular40 ,fashions1 cleanly or otherwise1 often come by the clever exercise of wit4 ,thus the ,russian confraternity made little fortunes through a well-timed joke perpetrated by ,count ,rostopchin4 ,and the joke was cut after the following fashion4 ,the ,emperor ,paul had an undisguised contempt for ,russian princes1 and loved to lower their dignity4 ,he was one day surrounded by a glittering crowd of them1 attired in gold lace and dirty shirts1 when he carelessly asked his favourite ,count ,rostopchin1 how it happened that he had never gained the slight distinction of being created a prince4 8,well1 your ,majesty10 said the ,count1 8it arises entirely from the circumstance that my ancestors1 who were originally ,tartars1 came to settle in ,russia just as winter was setting in40 8,and what of that80 asked ,paul4 8,why10 answered the ,count1 8whenever a ,tartar chief appeared at court for the first time1 the sovereign left it to his option either to be made a prince or to receive the gift of a pelisse4 ,now as it was hard mid-winter when my grandfather arrived at court1 he had sense enough to prefer the pelisse to the princeship40 ,this satire gave the fashion to the ,rostopchin cloaks1 of which our grandfathers who travelled in ,russia used to tell long stories1 that were not half so good as ,rostopchin's brief wit4 ,here was a fashion arising from a joke2 but they have been as often 8set0 by very serious causes4 ,some two hundred and fifty years ago1 the prevailing colour in all dresses was that shade of brown called the 8couleur ,isabelle10 and this was its origin4 ,a short time after the siege of ,ostend commenced in #afja1 ,isabella ,eugenia1 ,gouvernante of the ,netherlands1 incensed at the obstinate bravery of the defenders1 is said to have made a vow that she would not change her chemise till the town surrendered4 ,it was a marvellously inconvenient vow1 for the siege1 according to the precise historians thereof1 lasted three years1 three months1 three weeks1 three days1 and three hours2 and her highness's garment had wonderfully changed its colour before twelve months of the time had expired4 ,the ladies and gentlemen of the court resolved to keep their mistress in countenance1 and after a struggle between their loyalty and their cleanliness1 they hit upon the compromising expedient of wearing dresses of the presumed colour finally attained by the garment which clung to the ,imperial ,archduchess by force of religious obstinacy--and something else4 ,mrs4 ,sherwood offers us1 in her posthumous #8,life1' a fair picture of the fashion and simplicity of the good old country rector in the last century1 as regards the adorning of the outer man4 ,her father1 the ,rev4 ,dr4 ,butt1 was ,rector of ,kidderminster2 he is the hero of the story1 which ,mrs4 ,sherwood shall tell herself4 8,my father was invited to dine at ,lord ,stamford's1 at his seat at ,enville1 not very distant from ,kidderminster4 8,it was the custom1 when he was to go out1 for some competent person to arrange his best cloth suit on a sofa in his study1 his linen and stockings being in a wardrobe in the same room4 ,on this day he was very much engaged in writing4 ,however1 thinking that he would be quite prepared when apprised that ,john and the horses were ready1 he laid down his pen at an early hour1 and dressed himself1 laying his old black suit1 neatly folded1 as was his wont1 on the sofa1 from whence he had taken the best one2 this being done1 to make the best of his time1 he sat down to write again1 till admonished that the horses were waiting4 #8,bless me6' he cried1 #8and ,i not dressed6' and he hurried himself to put on again fresh linen and another pair of silk stockings1 whilst1 as his old coat and waistcoat1 which lay where the new ones ought to have been1 came most naturally to hand1 they were put on1 and a great coat over all concealed the mischief from ,john and my mother2 and away he drove1 reaching ,enville but a little time before dinner4 ,my father happened to know ,lord ,stamford's butler1 an old and valued servant2 and as he stopped in the hall to take off his great coat1 ,mr4 ,johnson1 having looked hard at his attire1 said1 #8,my dear ,sir1 you have a large hole in your elbow1 and the white lining is visible4' #8,indeed6' said my father2 #8how can that be8'--and1 after some reflection1 he made out the truth as it really had happened4 #8,well6' said ,mr4 ,johnson1 not a little amazed with the story1 #8come to my room1 and we will see what is to be done4' ,so he took my father1 who was in high glee at the joke1 into his own precincts1 and brushed him1 and inked his elbow1 and put him into better order than the case at first seemed possible 7sic74 ,when all was complete1 he said1 #8,now1 ,sir1 go into the drawing-room2 set a good face on the matter2 say not a word on the subject2 and my life for it1 not a lady or gentleman will find you out4' ,my father promised to be vastly prudent2 and as he was always equally at home in every company1 on the principle of feeling that every man was his brother1 he was not in the least disturbed by the consciousness of his old coat and inked elbow4 ,thus everything went on prosperously until dinner was nearly over4 ,my dear father1 having probably1 as usual1 found the means of putting everybody in good humour about him1 he turned towards the butler1 and said1 #8,johnson1 it must not be lost6' ,the good man frowned and shook his head1 but all in vain4 #8,it is much too good1 ,johnson1' he added2 #8though you are ever so angry with me1 ,i must tell it4' ,and then out came the whole story1 to the great delight of the whole noble party present1 and to the lasting gratification of my father himself2 for he never failed to be highly pleased whenever he told the story2 and it was no small addition to the tale1 to tell of the scolding he got1 before he came away1 from the honest butler1 whose punctilio he had most barbarously wounded40 ,since the beginning of the present century1 the laws of fashion have been more stringent1 those of taste ever execrable4 ,taste1 in its true sense1 and as applied to costume1 has never of late been 8,the admiration ,of this short-coated population1-- ,this sew'd-up race1 this button'd nation1-- ,who1 while they boast their laws so free1 ,leave not one limb at liberty2 ,but live1 with all their lordly speeches1 ,the slaves of buttons and tight breeches40 ,even ,george ,,iv4 and his favourites could not bless or curse the nation with a taste for dress4 ,after all1 we are better off in that respect than the ,italians of the last century1 who were accustomed to walk abroad without hats1 and with parasols and fans2 and we do not desire to see ,kensington ,gardens like that at ,schesmedscher1 near ,bucharest1 of the figures on which gay stage the correspondent of the #8,daily ,news' thus graphically speaks3-- 8,from three o'clock in the afternoon till an hour after sunset the place is crowded with boyards1 boyardines1 and the sons and daughters of the same1 shopkeepers1 peasants1 gipsies1 officers1 and cadets1 without any distinction of rank1 but all dressed regardless of expense1 and swaggering in thoroughly peacock pride4 ,we have matter-of-fact people1 practical people1 go-ahead people1 ingenious people1 etc41 but without exception this is the #8dressiest' people of ,europe4 ,to see the manner in which the young people fig themselves out here1 one might imagine that millinery1 hosiery1 and tailors' goods were a profitable investment of capital4 ,when one has been awhile in the ,east one generally ceases to wonder at varieties of costume2 but the beau monde of ,bucharest in holiday attire might well rouse the most nonchalant or phlegmatic into surprise and attention4 ,fashions of dress seldom remain long in one's memory4 ,the man who this year enters the ,park with a terribly broad-brimmed hat does not remember for a moment that twelve months previously he would have been miserable had he worn one with a brim more than an eighth of an inch wide4 ,it needs engravings to call up really vivid recollections of what one's-self1 as well as every one else1 wore ten1 twenty1 or thirty years ago2 and ,bucharest recalls very vividly a certain class of engravings4 ,every one is familiar with those splendid works of art which represent his ,majesty ,george ,,iii4 reviewing the ,middlesex ,volunteers in ,hyde ,park1 the ,pump ,room in ,bath1 ,charing-cross at the period of the erection of ,nelson's ,column1 or any other remarkable scene as it appeared in the days of that illustrious individual1 ,mr4 ,brummell4 ,your readers well remember the broad-crowned ,caroline hats1 the short-waisted coats1 the long-tailed surtouts1 the #8pumps' and ,hessian boots1 in which fashionables strutted at that period4 ,all this1 and more1 is to be seen here4 ,young men walk about in sky-blue cutaway coats with brass buttons and shockingly short skirts1 trousers almost as tight as the ancient pantaloons1 and cream-coloured kid gloves4 ,others appear on promenade with coats whose tails descend to their heels1 and others again in all the brilliancy of the latest ,paris fashions4 ,the contrast and mlange are curious and infinitely amusing1 and the display of jewellery is immense4 ,in short1 in ,london ,i would take the proudest man in the place for a linendraper's shopman in his ,sunday clothes4 ,it is in the article of gloves however that most extravagance is displayed4 ,white or cream-coloured is the colour de rigueur4 ,present yourself to a ,wallachian lady to pay a visit1 with your hands cased in anything more durable1 and you excite as great a sensation as if you walked into a ,london drawing-room in top-boots4 ,nor must you go about the town on foot2 a birtcha1 or two-horse open hackney carriage or calche1 at two zwanzigers an hour1 is indispensable4 ,the vehicles are however generally very good and clean1 and the drivers civil2 disputes about fares are unknown40 ,a portion of the above looks like a scene in a pantomime1 and this induces me to offer a remnant or two of remark connected with stage costumes4 ,,remnants ,,of ,,stage ,,dresses4 8,all these presentments ,are only mockeries1 and wear false faces40 ,,chapman',s #8,,busby ,d',,ambois4' ,there were few people who wore such a stage-look in the last century as a country squire in ,london4 ,mr4 ,isaac ,bickerstaff speaks of one whom he had just seen in the ,park4 ,he was of a bulk and stature1 we are told1 larger than the ordinary2 8had a red coat1 flung open to show a gay calamanco waistcoat2 his periwig fell in a very considerable batch upon each shoulder2 his arms naturally swung at an unreasonable distance from his sides1 which1 with the advantage of a cane that he brandished in a great variety of irregular motions1 made it unsafe for any one to walk within several yards of him40 ,if this was the public dress of a country gentleman1 the town fops had their own costume for their own stage4 ,there was the dapper gentleman1 with his cane hanging to the fifth button4 ,the smart fop rejoiced in red-heeled shoes and a hat hung1 rather than cocked1 upon one side of the head4 ,the set of 8a good periwig made into a twist0 denoted the 8fellow of mettle40 ,the coffee-house politician was known by the moustache of snuff on his upper lip2 and the lords of acres1 as ,i have just remarked1 by their glaring scarlet coats4 ,the walks looked like a masquerade scene at a time of high carnival1 and bad taste reigned undisturbed4 ,reformers however sought to amend it2 and ,paul ,whitehead1 the tailor-poet1 used to say that the taste of the nation depended upon ,garrick6 ,davy's own taste was very questionable in some respects1 for he played ,macbeth in the then costume of a general officer1 with scarlet coat1 gold lace1 and a tail-wig4 ,all the other actors were attired in similar dresses2 and if ,malcolm1 on seeing ,rosse at a distance1 exclaimed1 8,my countryman60 he was quite right to exclaim1 on seeing an ,english recruiting sergeant advance1 8and yet ,i know him not60 ,but ,rosse might have said as much of ,malcolm4 ,it was ,macklin who first put ,macbeth and all the characters into national costume1 when he played the chief character himself1 in #aggc2 and all the thanks he got for it was in the remark that he looked like a drunken ,scotch piper--which he did4 ,but ,macbeth in kilts is nearly as great an anomaly as when he is in the uniform of a brigadier-general2 and even ,mr4 ,charles ,kean1 though he exhibited the ,thane short-petticoated1 seemed glad to get into long clothes and propriety as soon as the ,thane had grown into a king4 ,macklin was a comedian rather than a tragedian1 and it is singular that it is to another comic actor we owe the correct dressing of ,othello4 ,it was in the latter character that ,foote made his first appearance in ,london1 at the ,haymarket1 in #agdd4 ,he was announced as a 8gentleman0 whose ,othello 8will be new dressed1 after the manner of his country40 ,mr4 ,wright would now play the character with about as much propriety and equal success1 or the want of it4 ,foote is said to have looked very much like the black boy with the tea-kettle in ,hogarth's #8,marriage la ,mode4' 8,bring the tea-kettle and lamp60 was ,quin's exclamation1 when he saw ,garrick enter1 blacked as ,othello4 ,and we may note that1 at this time1 if a stage-manager were not acting in any piece represented during the evening1 he was exempted from coming before the audience1 whatever confusion might reign in the house4 ,he was said to be not dressed4 ,austin never so much offended ,garrick as when he bought a cast-off dress1 the exact counterpart of that worn by ,garrick himself in ,lothario1 and in which ,austin intended to accompany ,roscius on the stage4 ,it was assumed on purpose to annoy ,garrick1 who wanted ,austin to increase the number of companions who should surround the gallant1 gay ,lothario2 and ,austin's method of obedience made ,davy eager to excuse his humble friend's attendance4 ,a better illustration of stage costume is afforded us in the story of 7,i think7 ,bensley4 ,he had to play ,henry ,,vi4 in #8,richard the ,third4' ,after the monarch's death in the early part of the play1 he had to appear for a moment or two as his own ghost1 in the fifth act4 ,the spirits were at that time exhibited en buste1 by a trap4 ,now our ,henry was invited out to supper1 and being anxious to get there early1 and knowing that little more than his shoulders would be seen by the public1 he retained his black velvet vest and bugles2 but1 discarding the lower part of his stage costume1 he drew on a jaunty pair of new1 tight1 nankeen pantaloons1 to be as far dressed for his supper company as he could4 ,when he stood on the trap1 he cautioned the men who turned the crank not to raise him as high as usual1 and of course they promised to obey4 ,but a wicked low comedian was at hand1 whose love of mischief prevailed over his judgement1 and he suddenly applied himself with such goodwill to the winch that he ran ,king ,henry up right to a level with the stage2 and moreover gave his majesty such a jerk1 that he was forced to step from the trap on to the boards1 to save himself from falling4 ,the sight of the old ,lancastrian monarch in a costume of two such different periods1--medival above1 all nankeen and novelty below1--was destructive of all decorum both before the stage and upon it4 ,the audience emphatically 8split their sides20 and as for the tyrant in the tent1 he sat bolt upright1 and burst into such an insane roar1 that the real ,richard could not have looked more frantically hysterical had the deceased ,henry actually so visited him in the nankeen spirit4 ,mrs4 ,barry is said to have been a very elegant dresser2 but1 like most of her contemporaries1 she was not a very correct one4 ,thus1 in the #8,unhappy ,favourite1' she played ,queen ,elizabeth1 and1 in the scene of the crowning1 she wore the coronation robes of ,james the ,second's queen2 and ,ewell says that she gave the audience a strong idea of the first-named ,queen4 ,anne of ,modena1 with the exception of some small details1 was dressed as little like ,elizabeth as ,queen ,victoria was dressed like ,anne4 ,royal dresses in earlier days were not turned to such base uses4 ,wichtlaf1 ,king of the ,mercians1 gave his purple coronation robes to the monks of courteous ,croyland2 and they wore the same1 cut up into copes and chasubles1 at the service of the altar4 ,goodman1 the comedian1 who left the stage towards the close of the seventeenth century1 was originally a ,cambridge student1 celebrated for his extravagance in dress1 and for his being expelled for cutting and defacing the picture of the ,duke of ,monmouth1 ,chancellor of the ,university4 ,he took to the stage1 and was successful2 but his salary was not sufficient to enable him to dress as he liked1 and consequently he was 8compelled10 as he himself said1 8to take the air40 ,the light comedian1 when the play was over1 mounted a horse1 turned highwayman1 and was brought thereby so near to the gallows1 that it was only the sign manual of ,james ,,ii4 that saved his neck4 ,the famous ,duchess of ,cleveland1 8my ,duchess10 as ,goodman used to call her1 ought not to have left her handsome favourite in such a mean condition4 ,his condition was so mean1 that he and a fellow comedian1 named ,griffin1 lived in one room1 shared the same bed1 and had but one shirt between them4 ,this they wore alternately4 ,it happened that one of them had to pay a visit to a lady1 and wished to wear the shirt out of his turn2 and this wish so enraged the other1 that a fierce battle ensued1 which ended1 like many other battles1 in the destruction of the prize contended for1 and the mutual damage of the combatants4 ,jevon was another of the actors of this period who was noted for his dress and easy manners4 ,the latter were particularly easy4 ,as an example of it1 ,i may remark that one day1 as he entered a club room1 he took a clean napkin from one of the tables1 and wiped therewith his muddy shoes4 ,the waiter begged him to wait till he fetched a coarser cloth4 8,no1 thank you1 my lad10 said ,jevon1 8this will serve me well enough4 ,i'm neither proud nor particular40 ,wilks the actor was the great ruler in matters of dress about this time4 ,he was exceedingly simple in his tastes off the stage1 but he was the best-dressed man upon it2 and what he adopted was universally followed4 ,an eminent critic1 writing of this actor in #agbi1 says3--8,whatever he did on the stage1 let it be ever so trifling1--whether it consisted in putting on his gloves1 or taking out his watch1 lolling on his cane1 or taking snuff1--every movement was marked by such an ease of breeding and manner1 everything told so strongly the involuntary motion of a gentleman1 that it was impossible to consider the character he represented in any other light than that of reality2 but what was still more surprising1 that person who could thus delight an audience from the gaiety and sprightliness of his manner1 ,i met the next day in the street hobbling to a hackney coach1 seemingly so enfeebled by age and infirmities1 that ,i could scarcely believe him to be the same man40 ,this splendid dresser exercised charity in a questionably liberal manner4 ,he was a father to orphans1 and left his widow with scarcely enough to find herself in cotton gowns4 ,our provincial theatres exhibit some strange anomalies with regard to costume1 and there the sons and daughters of today have middle-aged sires wearing the costume of the time of ,george ,i4 ,but the most singular anomaly in dress ever encountered by my experience was at a small theatre in ,ireland1 not very far from ,sligo4 ,the entertainment consisted of #8,venice ,preserved1' and the balcony scene from #8,romeo and ,juliet4' ,the ,venetian ladies and gentlemen were attired in every possible variety of costume2 yet not one of them wore a dress that could have been distinguished at any period as being once worn by any people1 civilized or savage4 ,jaffier and ,pierre however presented the greatest singularity1 for they were not only indescribably decked1 but they had but one pair of buskin boots between them2 and accordingly1 when it was necessary for both to be in presence of the audience1 each stood at the side-scene with a single leg protruded into sight and duly booted6 ,when a soliloquy was to be delivered1 the actor came forward1 as easy in his buskins as though they belonged to himself1 and were not enjoyed by a partner1 la ,box and ,cox4 ,nor was this all4 ,the appointments of the entire house were of the same character4 ,the roof was of tiles1 the seats in the pit were of potato-sacks and sacks of potatoes2 and never did ,i laugh so much at a tragedy as when a torrent of rain fell upon audience and actors1 and ,juliet went through the balcony scene in a dirty bed-gown1 and under a cotton umbrella4 ,i may observe that this ,juliet1 though unmarried1 was spoken of as 8,mrs40 and not 8,miss10 for the reason that she was old enough to be the former4 ,this was invariably the rule on our own stage a century and a half ago2 and ,cibber1 in the #8,lady's ,last ,stake1' calls two of his female characters ,miss ,notable and ,mrs4 ,conquest1 though both are unmarried2 but the former is hardly old enough to be a bride1 and the latter might have had daughters of her own4 ,another coincidence struck me in the ,irish theatre4 ,the performances were announced as for the benefit of a certain actor and his creditors4 ,i should have set this down to ,irish humour1 had ,i not remembered having read that ,spiller1 in #agai1 had made the same announcement at ,lincoln's ,inn ,fields4 ,but enough of these remnants4 ,i leave them1 to portray an illustrative drama1 the chief character in which was enacted by one who was great in costume2 and who may therefore claim to have his story1 hitherto told but to the select few1 placed upon our record4 ,,three ,,acts ,,and ,,an ,,epilogue4 8,my youth ,pass'd through the tropics of each fortune1 ,i ,was made her perfect tennis-ball2 her smiles ,now made me rich and honour'd2 then her frowns ,dash'd all my joys1 and blasted all my hopes40 ,,the ,,huntingdon ,,divertisement1 played at ,merchant ,tailors'1 #afgh4 ,,act ,i4 8,balthazar10 said a fine-looking lad in the prison of ,orlans1 8you are a brute60 ,by way of reply to this testimonial to character1 the gaoler struck the boy with his heavy bunch of keys on the head4 ,the blow sent young ,edmond staggering against the wall4 ,he recovered himself1 however1 and dauntlessly repeated-- 8,balthazar1 you are nothing better than a brute60 ,and ,edmond ,thierry was right4 ,balthazar was not only a brutal gaoler1 but he took delight in his vocation4 ,he had abandoned the honest calling of a 8marbrier10 to take upon him the duties of guarding the victims whom ,republican suspicion had consigned to captivity1 and whom it destined to death4 ,there is no doubt but that ,balthazar was a brute4 ,but brute as he was1 his prisoners despised him4 ,they endured1 but they defied him4 ,his hand might smite1 but his ferocity could not subdue them4 ,they would be happy1 and their determination only rendered him the more ferocious4 ,from the old ,briton gentleman1 ,pantin de la ,guerre1 to little ,edmond ,thierry1 there was not one whom he would not daily cuff1 and cuff all the harder from the conviction that they dared not1 for their lives1 strike again an officer of the ,republic1 one and indivisible4 ,balthazar then was incontestably a brute2 and young ,thierry had just told him so1 for the third time1 when the youthful ,madame de ,charry opened the door of her cell and entered the gallery4 ,the latter was secured at either end by an iron grating1 which was always locked2 but the cells themselves1 twelve in number1 with three or four occupants in each1 were barred and fastened only at night4 ,the 8citizens0 inhabiting them were untried aristocrats2 and until the law condemned them to death1 they were allowed the liberty of an obscure gallery1 from which they could not by any means escape to freedom4 ,the proud beauty who1 albeit so young1 had been some months a widow1 was passing on her way to an adjacent cell1 but she paused for an instant to kiss young ,edmond on the brow1 and to address some words of remonstrance to ,balthazar touching his treatment of the little ,king of the ,gallery1 as ,thierry was called4 8,may our holy mother the guillotine hug him as she did our other king1 ,capet60 said ,balthazar4 8,the little reptile taunted me1 because his father has escaped from ,amiens and reached ,england2 and he refused1 moreover1 to carry the pretty message ,i gave him from the public accuser1 and addressed to you1 citoyenne40 ,the boy's eyes filled with tears4 ,they sprang1 like the twin fountains of ,benasji1 from a divided source4 ,joy sent them gushing at the thought of his father's escape2 and sorrow paid its tribute at the peril which was then threatening his good friend1 ,madame de ,charry4 ,that lady loosened her bracelet1 readjusted it on her marble arm1 and asked1 as she did so1 what the public accuser could possibly have to say to her4 8,ah6 ah60 roared ,balthazar1 the brute2 8he invites you to honour the tribunal with your presence tonight2 and the faucheuse with the broad knife will send you an invitation to another party tomorrow40 8,be it so10 said the young beauty1 without apparent emotion4 8,in the meantime1 vive le ,roi6 ,and now1 my little ,king ,edmond1 let us leave citizen ,balthazar to his reflections1 and come with me to the soire of ,madame de ,bohun40 8,they will cut off your head60 cried ,balthazar1 with a candour meant for cruelty4 8,they60 said the lady1 with great sweetness2 8not if they are gallant gentlemen4 ,they will be the very canaille of butchers indeed1 if they strike off so pretty a head as mine3 n'est-ce pas1 mon roi80 said she to ,edmond4 ,but the boy's heart was too full to answer1 for he loved the charming ,stoic of ,orlans4 ,his courage1 however1 was not buried beneath his emotion2 for as he entered the cell of the ,countess de ,bohun1 he turned and gave the huge ,balthazar a kick on the right shin1 which made the tall savage turn pale4 ,the giant vowed vengeance at a better opportunity1 and he limped away to his kennel1 cursing the authorities for keeping alive a ,royalist child at the expense of the ,republic1 and for the particular annoyance of their own citoyen officiel4 ,it was a singular world that1 which ,balthazar held in durance within his stronghold of ,orlans4 ,it was an aristocratic1 pleasure-seeking world3 within one confined gallery all the pomps and vanities of the earth1--all the weaknesses of nature1--all the vices and some of the virtues of humanity reigned triumphant4 ,the sword of ,damocles hung over every head1 but the symbol was taken for the oriflamme of pleasure4 ,the fashions and pursuits of the old world were not forgotten within the prison walls4 ,the rich arranged their domiciles with as much care and anxiety as though the boudoirs they fitted up in their dungeons were taken for a fixed term of years1 instead of an uncertain tenure of minutes4 ,fashion had its rigid laws1 ,etiquette was enshrined1 and ,ennui denounced4 ,the duties1 dresses1 and pleasures of the day were distinctly defined2 and the duties generally consisted in getting ready the dresses for the better enjoyment of the pleasures4 ,the separation of castes was rigorously observed1 and common misfortune was not permitted to level ranks2 the noble captive might be courteous to the commoner in captivity1 but he would not associate with him4 ,the wife of a noble would not visit the cell which contained the spouse of a professional man4 ,during the day visits were not only regularly made between parties of the same degree1 but were punctually returned2 else discord arose thereat4 ,contests at chess1 trials at cards1 games at forfeits1 shuttlecock1 and ball1 were matters of daily occurrence during the days1 weeks1 or months that preceded condemnation or enlargement4 ,the high-caste nobility got up pic-nic dinners amongst themselves4 ,those who were of the very top cream of even that high caste found tea for large parties4 ,music was no rarity2 singing awoke the echoes of every cell4 ,in short1 the habits1 customs1 manners1 morals1 frivolities1 fashions1 and virtues of the upper classes were openly practised4 ,the greatest care was exhibited in matters of toilet4 ,as republican simplicity grew more republican and more simple without1 aristocratic fashions waxed more royal and more sumptuous within4 ,a head after the fashion of ,brutus1 was never seen upon noble shoulders4 ,among the ladies there was a mania for flowers1 feathers1 and many-coloured ribbons4 ,some wore their own hair1 and some wore wigs1 but in either case the hair was curled and powdered1 and the fair wearer was rouged1 ,spanish-whitened 7where blanc d',espagne was to be procured71 pencilled1 and plastered into all the beauty that could be achieved by burying her own beneath poisonous paint1 black-lead1 and adhesive mouches4 ,at ,orlans the necessity for some change of air1 and for taking some exercise1 caused the younger people1 on certain days of the week1 when permitted1 to have recourse to the vast courtyard of the prison4 ,fashion here reigned as she had been wont to do at the ,tuileries4 ,here were given concerts al fresco2 and les graces became the favourite game of the hour4 ,it even occasionally happened--for ,love1 like ,virtue1 will make his way into strange places--that affections were aroused1 and attachments between young hearts worthy of a purer locality sprang up1 throwing a charm over the wearisomeness of captivity4 ,death stood on permanent guard1 looking over the wall of that vast prison2 and his gaunt1 long arm often plunged into the crowd below1 and dragged up a victim4 ,but each individual there1 caring little for the teaching of the past or the prospects of the future1 endured and yet forgot everything4 ,each considered every fellow-captive exposed to death1 but none was without hope for himself4 ,like the selfish ,neapolitans1 who1 when they see a neighbour borne to the grave1 shrug their shoulders1 and cry1 8,salute a noi60 so did the ,orlans prisoners1 on losing an old companion1 bury sympathy for the departed in congratulations at their own escape4 ,it was early in a summer's afternoon when ,madame de ,charry1 with ,edmond1 entered the cell whose oldest occupant and recognized proprietor was the ,countess de ,bohun1 a lady who had once borne the honoured name of ,de ,girardin4 ,a large party was assembled1 and1 save the locality1 the hour1 and the absence of lights1 there was little to distinguish it from a party in the ,chausse d',antin4 ,some were at cards1 some were looking at pictures1 some were circulating scandal1 and a few were sipping eau sucre1 heightened as to flavour with a little capillaire4 ,franois ,vouillet1 the son of a chair-mender1 was there playing the guitar4 ,his poverty had not saved him from the suspicion of holding aristocratic opinions1 nor had his misfortune procured for him any commiseration from the aristocrats4 ,he attended among them as a hired musician1 and he played for the dinner which he could not purchase4 ,the appearance of the new-comers interrupted the song1 for a shout of ,vive le ,roi hailed the arrival of ,edmond1 and the most courteous welcomings that of his companion4 ,m4 de ,bohun1 who was attired in a flannel dressing-gown1 and the only individual in the cell not in full dress1 advanced to ,madame de ,charry and gallantly kissed her on the brow4 8,you are becoming ,republican in your tastes10 said that exquisite lady1 as she pointed to the flannel robe de chambre4 8,madame10 said the ,count1 laughing1 8,i am twice as aristocratic as the ,prince de ,ligne1 the very quintessence of a knight and a nobleman4 ,it is not two years since we visited him at ,vienna1 and he received the ,countess and myself in no other dress than his shirt40 8,oh60 exclaimed all the ladies at once4 8,it is true10 exclaimed ,madame de ,bohun1 corroboratively1 8and yet short of the truth3 he had one arm withdrawn from the sleeve1 and within it he took my own1 and led me into the apartment of his young daughter-in-law40 ,it was within an hour of the evening period for locking up1 when the wife of ,balthazar entered the room with but scant attention to ceremony1 and telling ,edmond as she passed him1 that she had just well-beaten her husband for his cruelty towards the 8little king0 of the prison1 she advanced towards ,madame de ,charry and whispered something in her ear4 ,with all her courage1 the fair creature slightly trembled2 but she arose1 begged the ,chevalier ,fabien to play out her cards1 and promised speedily to return4 ,an inquiring look was directed to her by all the company1 but she gave it no reply1 either by word or gesture4 ,she left the cell1 accompanied by the gaoler's wife1 and followed by ,edmond4 ,the latter1 in speechless fear1 saw her descend to the courtyard between two gendarmes4 ,the wicket was locked upon him1 but from the window he beheld her rudely pushed into a building in which the revolutionary tribunal was wont to hold its bloody sittings4 ,the 8little king0 burst into tears1 a weakness of which he became half-ashamed when he felt the arm of the gaoler's wife passed round his neck1 and heard words of condolence fall from the lips of the subduer of the prison tyrant4 ,from this period they stood in utter silence for a quarter of an hour1 at the end of which time they saw ,madame de ,charry brought out from the building and made to enter a cart1 which was driven and backed up to the steps expressly to receive her4 ,at the sound of a broken glass and a boy's scream1 her face1 pale and dignified1 was turned to the window1 through which ,edmond had thrust his head4 ,she smiled the sweet smile of a dying saint1 and the radiancy of a martyr seemed to glow around her as she pointed to heaven1 and with her eyes still fixed on the boy1 uttered the words1 8,esprance6 ,adieu60 ,in another moment the cart received two more victims1 and1 with its load of courageous misery1 soon after disappeared beneath the archway that led to the exterior of the prison4 ,before the chimes of the cathedral had struck the next quarter1 three lives had been sacrificed1 and ,monsieur de ,fabien had just won the game with his cousin's cards4 8,citizen ,fabien60 roared the voice of ,balthazar at the door of the cell4 8,may ,i not speak a word with ,madame de ,charry before you lock us up for the night80 said the ,chevalier4 8,the ,citoyenne ,charry has been dead these ten minutes10 answered the brute with his usual bluntness1 8and ,citizen ,fabien will never be locked up here again40 8,bah60 said the ,chevalier1 who not only felt sick1 but looked so4 8,the authorities are at the door1 ready to read to you the decree which discharges you from custody4 ,the tribunal is growing tender2 it has demanded but three lives today4 ,it sees no ground for accusing you1 and it has ordered the ,citizen ,edmond ,thierry to find his way to his father1--if he can4 ,the ungrateful villain nearly threw me on my back as ,i opened the wicket to set him free40 8,ladies and gentlemen10 said ,de ,fabien1 who suddenly recovered both his courage and his colour1 8,i wish you a good night1 and luck like mine4 ,i am now eligible to the bals la guillotine1 for ,i have had a relative who has been beheaded40 8,poor ,madame de ,charry60 exclaimed the sympathetic ladies1 as the tears ran down their cheeks with laughing at the ,chevalier's drollery4 8,poor me60 said ,m4 de ,bohun1 8for now ,edmond is gone1 who will sew on a button for me1 or mend a rent in my clothes80 ,,act ,,ii4 ,the ,dean of ,st4 ,patrick's has immortalized an ,irish festival of the eighteenth century1 by declaring that 8,o',rourke's noble feast will ne'er be forgot ,by those who were there1--or those who were not40 ,some such memories will cling for ever about the last of the great ,european ,congresses1--that of ,vienna4 ,it will be a costly reminiscence for ,europe as long as the world endures2 and no one is likely to forget the assembly of monarchs and statesmen who1 after arranging the affairs of the universe1 amused themselves by enacting the ,french vaudeville of #8,la ,danse ,interrompue1' and1 in the very middle of that ominously-named piece1 received intelligence that ,napoleon had escaped from ,elba1 and had thus interrupted their dance indeed4 ,among the most useful of the personages who figured at ,vienna during the celebrated period of #ahad-ae there was none whose utility could be compared with that of a gay and generous young ,frenchman1 who was known by the sobriquet of 8the ,king of ,good ,fellows40 ,he did not serve much1 it is true1 for the furtherance of political purposes2 but he was always indispensable1 and never missing1 when a ball1 a masquerade1 a concert1 or a pic-nic was in question1 and some difficulty opposed its successful accomplishment4 ,little was known of him1 save that he had been attached to the ,french ,legation at ,lisbon2 but whispers were circulated to the effect that in the days of the exile of the ,french nobility1 he had earned a livelihood in ,london by application of the needle1 while it was more loudly asserted that he had given lessons on the guitar in the ,english capital1 and that he and his father had played duets1 under the patronage of ,banti1 at the ,pantheon4 ,two or three out of the dozen of ,talleyrand's discreet secretaries confidently affirmed1 that when a boy he had been confined in the prison of ,orlans1 8on suspicion of being suspected0 by the ,republic4 ,but ,baron ,thierry himself was profoundly silent on his antecedents2 and he was wont to say that the memories of the past were of a very unsubstantial nature1 and that his designs for the present and the future were to make the most of all opportunities1 and get a crown1 if he could1 since one might perhaps be had at the mere cost of setting up a pretension to it4 ,people laughed at the idea of ,baron ,thierry becoming a monarch2 but at such mirth the baron assumed a gravity that was very majestic1 and which looked like determination4 8,who is that pretty child whom your ,majesty keeps so close to your side tonight80 said a lady to ,thierry at a ball given by ,wellesley ,pole4 ,the lady was remarkable for her natural beauty and her bad taste4 ,she wore her husband's 8,garter0 as an ornament round her head1 and ,honi soit qui mal y pense glittered in diamonds upon her radiant brow4 8,she is the half of an imperial princess10 replied the ,baron1 in a whisper2 8and she and ,i are characters in a romance of an hour4 ,watch us well1 and you will see the dnouement40 ,the ,baron had scarcely uttered the words when the lovely and childless ,czarina of ,russia passed by his side4 ,the ,czarina paused for a moment at an open window1 and then stepped on to the balcony overlooking a handsome garden4 ,no one accompanied1 and no one followed her4 ,the ,baron however occupied the centre of the window1 and the angelic-looking child1 at his bidding1 passed on to the balcony1 and stood by the imperial lady's side4 ,lady ,castlereagh1 and some three or four persons who were aware that ,thierry was contriving something for the especial gratification of the ,czarina1 contrived to witness what passed without appearing to do so4 ,the scene that ensued was curious1 touching1 and rapid4 ,the ,czarina burst into tears1 kissed the wondering child with a fiery and uncontrollable emotion1 and gazed upon her with an almost frantic look of mingled love1 jealousy1 and despair4 ,the ,baron slightly coughed1 the ,czarina re-entered the salon1 and the spectators appeared unconscious of anything but the imperial presence1 and the reverence due to it4 ,lady ,castlereagh alone heard her say to the ,baron1 as she passed4 8,thanks for your courtesy1 ,monsieur le ,baron4 ,tell her mother ,i envy and forgive her60 8,who is her mother80 asked ,lady ,castlereagh4 8,madame ,krudener1 the mistress of ,alexander1 the pious ,czar4 ,the ,czarina has just kissed her rival's child1 and her heart is breaking that she is not the mother of it40 ,the night that succeeded was a brilliant one at the imperial palace of ,austria4 ,in a small room adjoining the great gallery was assembled a strange group4 ,a very handsome young man1 in the costume and with the attributes of ,jupiter1 was walking to and fro1 eating a slice of pine-apple1 and declaring that the ,count de ,wurbna was mad4 ,a somewhat older but a fine-looking personage1 easily recognizable as ,mars1 was lying recumbent on a sofa1 repeating the declaration that ,de ,wurbna was mad4 ,these two theatrical deities were1 in their mortal positions1 no other than ,prince ,leopold of ,saxe-,coburg and the ,count de ,zichy4 ,de ,wurbna was seated on a stool1 bending forward to fasten his sandal4 ,his dress1 his lyre1 and his insignia told at once that he was ,phbus ,apollo4 ,there was nothing like insanity about him2 but when he raised his head1 the beholder was constrained to confess that there was something about him very unlike the lover of ,daphne and ,coronis4 ,in fact1 he wore a very formidable pair of mustachios4 ,however appropriate this adornment might be to the ,apollo ,corybassides1 who disputed the dominion of ,crete with ,jupiter himself1 it little suited the fair son of ,latona1 the only one of all the gods whose oracles were in general repute throughout the world4 ,be this as it may1 the ,viennese ,apollo1 whose transcendent beauty had designated him as the only man who could fittingly represent the graceful god1 strictly refused to sacrifice his cherished moustache4 ,madame de ,wilhelm1 the destined ,venus of the tableaux vivans about to be represented1 had suggested that his head should be turned from the spectators2 but the proud ,minerva of the night1 the ,countess ,rosalie ,rzewouska 7the original of ,m4 ,sue's ,fleur de ,marie71 declared that the suggestion lacked wisdom1 and that1 if adopted1 ,miss ,smith1 the daughter of the ,admiral ,sir ,sidney1 would spoil her ,juno1 and laugh outright1 as she did at everything4 8,i thought ,thierry could do anything10 said ,jupiter4 8,he has superintended the getting up of all our costumes2 and he engaged1 a fortnight ago1 to render ,de ,wurbna reasonable40 ,apollo caressed his very objectionable hirsutory adornment1 humming as he did so1 8,du1 du liegst mir im ,herzen40 ,he smiled as ,mars asserted that if ,thierry had entered into any such engagement1 ,apollo would be shaved1 and the heathen goddesses in raptures4 ,the ubiquitous and indefatigable ,baron had1 at all events1 done his best1 but hitherto he had failed4 ,at the eleventh hour however he thought of the claim which he had on the ,czarina ,elizabeth1 for whom he had contrived the strange gratification of kissing the daughter of her husband's mistress4 ,he procured an audience1 and stated the predicament into which he and the court-players were thrown by the obstinacy of ,apollo4 ,the ,czarina had recourse to her sister of ,austria1 but the two imperial ladies knew not how to solve the difficulty4 ,the ,emperor of ,austria was called in1 and then the difficulty began to wear an aspect less redoubtable4 ,the mythological deities were yet disputing in their luxurious green-room1 when an officer of the ,imperial ,guard appeared at the door1 and summoned ,de ,wurbna to the imperial presence4 ,the latter flung a cloak over his shoulders and hastened to obey4 8,my dear fellow10 said the officer1 8you will not appear before the ,emperor in those mustachios60 8,why not80 said the son of ,latona1 who began to suspect a mystification4 8,because of this morning's general order1 which commands the entire guard to which we belong to be shaved40 ,de ,wurbna had already remarked the smooth lip of his ,hungarian comrade1 but1 still doubting1 he proceeded to wait upon his master the ,emperor4 8,i'll wager a whole chest of ,latakia10 said ,mars1 8that this is a feat of ,thierry's accomplishing4 ,he is well named the #8,king of ,good ,fellows1' for he knows how to meet every emergency4 ,he deserves to get a crown in the general scramble40 8,he is a good fellow10 said ,prince ,leopold1 8but he is about as likely to get a crown as ,i am40 8,who knows80 asked ,de ,zichy1 who cared little for crowns1 and felt no envy at kings4 8,there may be half-a-dozen political earthquakes before another score of years have been added to the register2 and another remodelling of kingdoms may strangely affect the market for monarchs40 ,in another moment ,apollo entered1 half laughing1 half ashamed1 and entirely shaven4 ,the ,emperor had really issued an order that the ,guard should be shaved2 ,de ,wurbna had forthwith submitted1 and1 in his private quarters1 he consummated the heavy sacrifice4 ,the decree however1 which had been issued to please the imperial ladies1 only lasted for a day4 ,it nevertheless served its purpose2 and never was such honour done to the diplomatic abilities of ,thierry1 as when the mimic ,olympus discovered that by his aid a king of men had subdued a refractory deity1 and that the consistency of a mythological tableau was saved from shipwreck4 ,the representation went off with extraordinary clat4 ,the only persons among the spectators who were not enraptured with the spectacle1 were the obese ,king of ,wrtemberg1 who was sound asleep in his chair1 and who was never awake except at dinner-time2 his son1 the ,crown ,prince1 who was breathing out his soul in the ear of the young ,duchess of ,oldenburg2 and that youthful widow herself1 whose eyes beamed with a lustre born1 not of the outward show1 but of inward feeling4 ,with these exceptions1 all were delighted2 and when ,thierry1 in the intervals of the performance1 took up his guitar and discoursed eloquent music1 the entire audience declared that they had never heard so exquisite a voice1 nor seen so king-like a fellow4 ,the loudest in his praise1 and the best-dressed man among the eulogizers1 was the nonagenarian ,prince ,de ,ligne2 an old dandy1 of whom his tailors made1 as nearly as dress could do it1 a comparatively young-looking man4 ,he was more carefully dressed than ever on this eventful night4 ,it was the night on which he went through the snow1 to keep1 at least he said so1 an assignation of a tender nature on the ramparts1 and where he was kept waiting so long in vain by his ,cynthia of the minute1 that he caught a cold which1 within a very short space of time1 carried him into a bronze coffin1 and covered him up in a marble tomb4 ,all ,vienna laughed1 except the tailors2 for though he patronized these1 he never paid them4 ,thierry was standing by the burying-place when he first heard of the return of ,napoleon4 8,well10 thought he1 8there are no crowns to be had here4 ,the kingdom of good-fellowship is a sorry monarchy4 ,perhaps something may turn up under the ,corsican40 ,,act ,,iii4 ,the 8,corsican0 however had run out his brief second imperial career1 when one of the many who had hoped to profit by his rise was prostrated by his fall4 ,the name of this one was ,thierry4 ,with the world before him where to choose1 he turned his steps to ,south ,america1 and went in search of a people who might happen to be in want of a king4 ,it was always his fortune1 or misfortune1 wherever such a servant of the people was required1 to present his credentials only after the situation was filled up4 ,he was at ,poyais just a week subsequent to the attainment of the caciqueship of that pseudo ,el ,dorado by ,gregor ,m',gregor4 ,he was in ,hayti when the garrison of ,st4 ,marc revolted against ,christophe the king1 and when the citizens and troops of ,cape ,haytien invited ,boyer to relieve them of royalty and the ,marquises of ,marmalade4 ,he heard the pistol shot at ,sans ,souci which terminated the career of ,christophe and his house2 and he witnessed the abject submission of the sable heir-apparent1 who has not only since honoured ,great ,britain with his presence1 but who has1 at the invitation of the law1 submitted 7some six or seven years ago7 to the rotatory penalties and the weak gruel of ,brixton1 for forgetting his royal dignity1 and1 with it1 common humanity4 ,the ,haytians were resolved upon enjoying a republic and new rum2 and they declined a proposal to accept ,thierry1 and a promise of ,french protection4 ,the crown-seeker1 disgusted with the bad taste of the dingy republicans1 passed over to ,mexico4 ,things were promising there to all adventurers but himself1 and ,iturbide snatched an imperial crown from his hopes1 if not from his hands3 the wanderer1 nevertheless1 continued to look about him1 and the opening revolt at ,soto la ,marina1 against this same ,iturbide1 was hailed in his secret thoughts as an avenue to a throne4 ,he saw the fallen potentate1 under the escort of ,general ,bowo1 embark at ,antiguo1 near ,vera ,cruz1 and1 with his family and followers1 sail in an ,english ship for ,leghorn4 ,with all his throne-mania1 however1 when ,iturbide returned in the following year 7#ahbd7 to ,mexico1 to be shot the night after his landing at ,padilla1 ,thierry could not help thinking that if the ,mexican republican government had awarded him twenty-five thousand dollars per annum1 he would rather1 with such a revenue1 have risked ,european fevers at ,leghorn1 than have reigned in that quarter of the world where the bark grows that cures them4 ,he wandered further abroad1 but the ,indian tribes of ,south ,america deeply declined him as a prince4 ,the islanders of the ,southern ,ocean laughed a negative in his face1 and sent him away with a lapful of yams and a sentence of perpetual banishment4 ,at length the erratic king-player fell among the ,marquesas4 ,the good-natured people were willing to make him whatever he desired2 and in return for teaching them some useful matters touching the fashion of garments1 and for profitable exercise of his medical experience1 they really constituted him king of one of their smallest islands1 called ,nebuhwa4 ,but1 see what is human nature6 ,the new king became speedily tired of his new dignity2 and after a brief but not inglorious reign1 he abdicated with but little outlay of ceremony4 ,he embarked one night in a ,french vessel1 one of those political appliances which is always sure to find itself by accident wherever it has been ordered by design4 ,his ,majesty's subjects bore their loss with philosophy1 and cared so little for dynasties that they did not seek for a successor4 ,some old ,south ,sea whalers however shook their heads portentously1 vowed that the fellow was a political agent1 and that he would turn up again somewhere for the benefit of himself and his employers4 ,well6 in the summer of #ahci1 a weary party of ,new ,zealand travellers were on their way from ,hokianga to the ,bay of ,islands4 ,they were one night proceeding up the river in a canoe1 to a native settlement1 where the foot-track to the ,bay of ,islands then commenced4 ,they were drenched through with rain1 and were desirous of finding food and shelter4 8,there is a light on that eminence10 said one of the party1 an ,english medical man1 to the natives in the boat2 8does any one live there80 ,the natives laughed1 and intimated that the light came from ,king ,edmond's palace4 8,who is ,king ,edmond80 8,not know4 ,frenchman4 ,not ,wesleyan2 not ,bishop's man4 ,come from ,sydney20 were the four distinct replies received from the natives4 8,from ,sydney80 said the ,doctor2 8then it is no other than ,thierry2 the fellow was there in '#ce4 ,he proclaimed himself1 #8by the grace of ,god ,king of ,nebuhwa and sovereign chief of ,new ,zealand1' and he showed documents to prove that he had the support of ,louis ,philippe and his ,government4 ,he drew upon the same ,french ,government1 and raised a considerable sum of money by the sale of the bills1 which were discounted by some queer people1 considering they came from so far north as ,aberdeen2 and which1 on being forwarded to their destination1 were1 as might be expected1 returned dishonoured4 ,nevertheless1 with the proceeds he got together a body of retainers1 chartered a ship1 and came over to ,hokianga40 8,what did the resident say to it80 asked a young engineer1 of a native at his side4 8,what resident speak1 ,mister ,chalton8 ,he no speak6 he go mad6 ,church missionaries go madder2 and chiefs maddest of all4 ,write to ,queen ,victoria2 ,queen speak3--#8,new ,zealand chiefs all independent4 ,king ,thierry no king4' ,church missionaries almost mad like chiefs1 cause ,thierry speak ,hokianga land belong to him40 8,no wonder60 said the doctor1 8for his ,majesty declared that the ,church missionaries had sold it to him1 years before1 for twenty tomahawks6 ,what did he do at ,hokianga80 8,make fine coat for naked ,zealander10 said one of the natives1 with a grin4 8,a royal tailor1 by ,jove60 exclaimed the medicus4 ,after some further discussion upon this strange personage1 the travellers agreed to make for his island palace1 and ask hospitality4 ,leaving two natives in charge of the boat and luggage1 under the guidance of the other two the ,english travellers made their way1 with difficulty1 over stumps of trees and decayed logs1 to the royal residence4 ,on reaching the palace1 they found1 to their dismay1 that it had nothing to distinguish it from the huts of the natives1 save one solitary glazed window4 ,at the back there was a hole1 which served for a door2 a ,kawri board was fixed against it1 and to this the four travellers applied their knuckles4 ,they had not long to wait2 the board was removed by an ill-dressed man1 of perhaps fifty years of age1 who welcomed them into a tolerably neat kitchen1 well-warmed by a blazing fire4 ,to an inquiry as to whether they could see the ,baron1 he announced himself as ,baron1 and ,sovereign ,chief of ,new ,zealand4 ,he reiterated his welcome2 introduced them to his wife1 who confidently believed that her husband was a sovereign1 because he had told her so twenty times a day for the last three years2 and he finally asked them if they were fond of music4 ,the guests pleaded guilty to the taste1 but they also honestly confessed that they were exceedingly hungry4 8,you shall have all we possess10 said the ex-,king of ,nebuhwa4 8,ktchen10 added he to his consort1 8get the bread1 and bring out the ,beethoven40 ,the ,queen took the loaf and the duet out of a large fish-kettle which lay in one corner of the apartment4 ,the ,king placed upon the table a guitar1 four pewter plates1 a violin1 and a piece of cheese4 ,their ,majesties dispensed their hospitality with much grace1 a quality that is seldom wanting where there is goodwill4 ,they apologized for the absence of wine1 spirits1 and beer1 but they praised the virtues of the water of ,hokianga4 ,the beverage having been poured into horns1 and each guest supplied with cheese and bread1 her ,majesty1 at a signal from the ,king1 who had assumed the violin1 took up the guitar1 and in a minute they were deep in the melodious mysteries of ,beethoven4 ,that ,titan's music on the guitar was something of an anomaly2 but the truth is1 that the lady's copy was written for the piano1 and it was her ,german ingenuity that adapted it to the only instrument she possessed4 ,the guests had long terminated their repast1 and ventured1 as the duet proceeded1 to make an occasional remark1 which was speedily hushed by the chef d'orchestre1 who would tolerate no commentaries during the interpretation of so splendid a text4 ,the duet was finished only to be recommenced2 detached passages were repeated over and over again2 and the guests meanwhile were awed into absolute silence by the look1 speech1 and action of their host4 ,it was a singular exhibition in a singular locality3--,beethoven in ,new ,zealand1 and free-born ,englishmen subdued at ,hokianga by the despotism of a ,french monarch in a foreign territory4 8,you play superbly1 ,baron10 at length said one of the four travellers4 8,sir10 said the sovereign chief1 8it is impossible to play ill on such an instrument as this4 ,i adore my wife2 ,i love my subjects1 whom ,i would dress like ,parisians if they would only heed me2 but ,i venerate my violin40 8,he has caught heathenism1 and worships his fiddle10 whispered ,chalton to a missionary on his right hand4 8,this violin1 ,sir10 resumed the ,baron1 8has seen as many lands as the ,wandering ,jew4 ,it had been all over the world before it got into the hands of ,platt2 and it has been all over the world since it left them40 8,and who is ,platt80 said the missionary4 8,platt1 ,sir10 answered the ,baron1 8was one of the first violin-players in ,england2 but he was afflicted with modesty1 and consequently was only known to his friends4 ,he led your ,duke of ,cumberland's private band at ,kew1--and what a well-dressed band that was6 it did honour to its tailor2 and it had a ,european reputation for excellence4 ,i wish ,i were as rich as a duke1 and possessed so great a maestro di capella40 ,the ,baron then proceeded to enlarge upon his position and prospects1 entered into discussion on his rights1 and pronounced himself a sterling king1 in spite of ,lord ,stanley1 the ,british ,queen1 or the ,english ,ministry4 8,i would make these islanders10 said he1 8the best-dressed people out of ,france1--and if they could but acknowledge my principles1 ,i would myself furnish them with paletots2 but they denounce my tyranny1 and laugh at me when ,i offer to put them into the dignity of trousers40 ,to hear this mock potentate speak of his people1 his dominions1 religious toleration1 the rights of man1 and the duties of monarchs1 one might have concluded that he really was a recognized sovereign1 with an actual kingdom1 a people to protect1 parties to reconcile1 a faith to uphold1 and responsibilities to oppress him4 ,beyond his musical instruments1 his solitary instrumental duet1 his fish-kettle1 an old #8,journal des ,modes1' and some needles1 he can scarcely be said to have had at this moment a single possession incontestably his own4 ,as the party of travellers1 after sleeping in the hut1 proceeded on the following morning to their boat1 they were accompanied to the beach by their entertainer1 who expressed his hopes of meeting with them again4 ,but this was not to be4 ,,the ,,epilogue4 ,four years afterwards1 a solitary ,english traveller1 named ,chalton1 was standing in the centre of a wide district1 near to where the last-mentioned guests had spent a summer night in #ahci4 ,he was apparently in search of some locality1 and two chiefs were closely watching him4 ,a couple of ,wesleyan natives were not far off4 ,they were assisting him in making a survey for a road4 8,there used to be a hut on that hill in the distance10 said he to one of the chiefs4 8,king ,thierry's hut10 answered both the chiefs at once4 8,true10 rejoined the inquirer2 8why is it no longer there80 8,zealanders' gods are not sleeping10 replied one of the chiefs4 8,thierry and his priests were cruel to his people4 ,the island spirits told us1 in our dreams1 to punish him4 ,we burned the hut down last moon40 8,and ,thierry and his wife80 asked the astounded engineer4 8,the good lady perished in the flames4 ,the people from the other side of the island saved ,king ,thierry40 8,ah60 exclaimed ,chalton1 partly relieved2 8what are they going to do with him80 8,oh1 nothing60 cried the chiefs1 somewhat eagerly4 8,the ,government will not let the people keep him a captive40 8,the ,government can't get him10 said one of the chiefs4 8,and the tribe haven't got him10 said the other4 8,why1 what have they done to him80 8,hem60 growled somewhat unctuously the elder chief of the two1 8they have eaten him60 ,such is said to have been really the fate of the little prisoner who used to mend the garments of ,m4 de ,bohun in the prison of ,orlans2 of the costumier of the court masquerades at the ,congress of ,vienna2 and of the wandering adventurer in distant seas1 where he could find no one who would either acknowledge his fiats or accept his fashions4 ,he was unable to establish himself in the world either as monarch of men or as makers of their habits4 ,and having thus spoken of a mock king1 let us consider now our ,english liege ladies at their respective toilets4 ,,the ,,tiring-,,bowers ,,of ,,queens4 8,i could accuse the gaiety of your wardrobe ,and prodigal embroideries1 under which ,rich satins1 plushes1 cloth of silver1 dare ,not show their own complexions2 your jewels1 ,able to burn out the spectators' eyes1 ,and show like bonfires on you1 by the tapers3 ,something might here be spared1 with safety of ,your birth and honour1 since the truest wealth ,shines from the soul1 and draws up just admirers40 ,,shirley4 ,let us not presume to look into the primitive boudoirs of the ,queens before the ,conquest1 and only reverently into those of the sovereign ladies who succeeded4 8,tread lightly1 this is sacred ground60 is an injunction not to be forgotten in this locality4 ,the first ,queen after the ,norman invasion1 ,matilda of ,flanders1 who was pummelled into loving her ungallant wooer ,william1 had a costly wardrobe4 ,before her death she disposed of the most valuable of her garments by will1 and named therein the dressmaker who had provided them for her1 a species of advertisement that ought to have made ,madame ,alderet's fortune4 8,i give10 says the royal testatrix1 8to the ,abbey of the ,holy ,trinity my tunic1 worked at ,winchester1 by ,alderet's wife2 and the mantle embroidered with gold1 which is in my chamber1 to make a cope4 ,of my two golden girdles1 ,i give that which is ornamented with emblems1 for the purpose of suspending the lamp before the great altar40 ,the abbey named was at ,caen1 and the nuns connected therewith came in for all ,matilda's petticoats1--no indifferent legacy1 for they were stiff with gold and dust4 ,she was an elegant dresser1 as far as outside show was concerned4 ,rufus was a bachelor1 and the ladies who frequented his uproarious court were remarkable for their adoption of garments which very much disgusted the sober ladies of ,saxon times4 ,matilda of ,scotland1 wife of ,henry ,i41 being graceful of form1 was given to wear tight kirtles1 and may be said to have brought in tight lacing4 ,henry's second wife1 ,adalicia of ,louvaine1 imitated the fashion set by her predecessor4 ,on the ,king's death1 she espoused the hereditary cupbearer1 ,william de ,albini1 surnamed ,fortembras2 and if she dressed a trifle less gloriously in her bower at ,arundel ,castle1 she at least became there the mother of a numerous progeny1 who grew up and gave the fashions to the entire county of ,sussex4 ,the third ,matilda1 she of ,boulogne1 wife of ,stephen1 was the first of our ,queens who introduced simplicity of dress4 ,on ordinary occasions she was perhaps less plainly dressed than the very elegant inmates of that very elegant 8,st4 ,katherine's ,college10 which still commemorates her benevolence1 and whose inmates are doubtless a cause of some astonishment to the spirit of that gentle lady4 ,eleanora of ,aquitaine1 ex-wife of ,louis ,,xi4 of ,france1 and consort of ,henry ,,ii4 of ,england1 was extravagant in the article of dress1 and loved to see her ladies around her splendidly attired4 ,she ran their purses hard1 for1 like ,marie ,antoinette1 she was exceedingly fond of private theatricals2 and the barons who groaned over the cost of their own armour1 looked grim at the bill of outlay for materials which1 be it said for the honour of the parties concerned1 were made up for the most part by the young ladies themselves4 ,in those days1 people used to resort to the pleasant and sweet-smelling village of ,bermondsey1 to see the well-dressed ,eleanor walk in the quaint gardens there4 ,the idea of ,bermondsey being pleasant and sweet-smelling is one now to smile at4 ,it is in these times the seat of ill odours1 amid which however many a quean still walks and keeps her state1--and a very sad state it is4 ,berengaria1 the spouse of the first ,richard1 is one of the two ,queens of ,england who never were in ,england4 ,her tiring maidens found in her a gentle lady who gave grace to1 rather than borrowed it from1 what she wore4 ,it may be added that she wore nothing that was not wet with her tears2 for her royal spouse was like most knights of his day1 ready to make and ready to break all vows of fidelity1 and indeed all promises1 of whatsoever quality4 ,but ,richard was not parsimonious1 like his brother ,john1 who kept poor ,isabella of ,angoulme as poorly dressed as a scrivener's wife2 and who wrote down what cloth she was to have for her garments1 and on what allowance of shoes she was to stand1 all with the shopkeeping sort of correctness which is to be found in no king save ,louis ,philippe4 ,isabella however had some rich appurtenances in her wardrobe1 for we find that when her son1 the little ,henry ,,iii41 was crowned1 the royal circlet not being procurable for the purpose1 the boy was at length crowned with the gold throat-collar belonging to his mother's gala suit4 ,that same ,henry ,,iii4 was as gorgeous a dresser as his father1 but he loved to see not only his wife1 the fair ,eleanor of ,provence1 whom he gallantly married without a dower1 but also her ladies1 as gorgeously attired as himself4 ,had he been as careful of paying for their dresses as he was in the selection of them 7he was a dreadful fop1 and would discuss lace and frippery with a lady with as much unnecessary knowledge as any ,belgian petit-matre of modern days71 he might have passed reproachless4 ,but he was one of those men who1 after squandering their own money1 squander that which they hold in trust3 and then cheat their own tailors and their ladies' milliners with a composition of five shillings in the pound4 ,henry1 his ,queen1 and court glittered like dragon-flies1 thought nothing of 8settling day10 and turned up their noses at their more honest and less gaily-dressed kindred4 ,the result was what might be expected4 ,they got into pecuniary difficulties1 and descended to the commission of intense meanness4 ,they invited themselves out daily to dine with the wealthy aristocracy of ,london1 whose dinners they ate and whose plate they carried away with them as a gift or a loan4 ,in fact1 ,henry and ,eleanor established a fashion which is far from being obsolete1 so great is the authority for its observance4 ,the extravagant are always mean1--mean and dishonest2 they first cheat their creditors1 and then would cheat their more judicious relatives1 were the latter weak enough to be persuaded that the very attempt is a compliment4 ,i could not of course1 but you1 good reader1 can put your finger on a score of people who are like ,henry and ,eleanor in this1--living beyond their means1 and looking to their more honest friends for aid to relieve them from the consequences of their knavery4 ,exactly2 ,i see you smile as your eye falls on that pair of cousins of yours1--the lady all flounce1 and the cavalier irreproachable in dress1 and in nought besides6 ,he has just asked you1 a man with eight children1 four hundred a year1 and two servants1 to put your name to that little bill4 ,but you have been singed at that fire before1 and you now decline4 ,my dear ,sir1 if you will not allow yourself to be cheated by your extravagant relations1 you cannot expect to be on good terms with that part of your family4 ,but you will find compensation for the loss of such a luxury at your own hearth and in your own heart4 ,why should you wrong those who cluster about both to help worthless people1 who1 if they could1 would further do as ,henry and ,eleanor did1 pawn the 8,virgin ,mary0 to pay their jewellers' bills4 ,that precious couple compelled the sheriffs of various counties to furnish them with linen for their royal persons4 ,had ,i been a sheriff at the time1 they should have had huckaback1 compared with which they would have found a hair-shirt a positive luxury6 ,and let me hope1 young ladies1 that you will not confound this ,eleanora with her of the following reign1 that ,eleanora of ,castile1 who was surnamed the 8faithful10 and who was the glorious first wife of ,edward ,i4 ,she showed what an excellent eye she had to comfort1 by introducing into the cold1 damp dwellings of the day1 tapestry hangings to protect the inmates from chill and moisture4 ,she was the royal mother of all good ,english housewives2 although she did a little scandalize the sober matrons by wearing long curls adown her peerless neck1 after she was married4 ,there were some1 too1 who did not complacently admire her habit of dressing in public2 but it was only a public of ladies4 ,it was for ,elizabeth1 in later days1 to attire herself in presence of men4 ,in ,eleanor's oriel at ,caernarvon ,castle1 ladies were presented to the daughter of ,castile1 while her tirewomen combed and braided her renowned long tresses4 ,a contemporary poet thus describes the scene3-- 8,in her oriel there she was1 ,closed well with royal glass2 ,filled it was with imagery1 ,every window by and by20-- the poetry of which is of as poor a quality as was probably the glass in the oriel4 ,we must not forget to add1 that there was as much sewing as romping1 and an abundance of both among the young princesses 7of whom there was a noisy abundance too7 in the 8,maiden's ,hall0 at ,westminster ,palace2 and that ,eleanor is immortalized as the only sovereign who bequeathed 8a legacy to ,william1 her tailor40 ,when she died1 ,edward made solemn oath of sempiternal grief1 and in a week or two1 took to flirting4 ,ultimately he espoused ,marguerite of ,france2 and the match was so happy a one that the two consorts bore their respective arms in one scutcheon1 in testimony of their entente cordiale4 ,those particular gentlemen1 the heralds1 were in a sort of delirium tremens at this innovation2 but they were almost as little cared for then as now4 ,marguerite and ,edward were a worthy couple4 ,edward1 indeed1 slaughtered all the inhabitants of ,berwick for calling him 8,longshanks20 but nobody thought the worse of him for that4 ,as for ,marguerite1 she is distinguished for her taste1--her double taste1 in dressing becomingly1 and paying regularly4 ,she never omitted acquitting a debt at proper time1 but once2 and this so alarmed ,john of ,cheam1 her creditor and goldsmith1 that out of fear that the fashion of long credit was coming in again1 he besought the king1 8for ,god's sake1 and the soul of his father1 ,king ,henry1 to order payment40 ,the prayer was heeded2 and ,i may further notice1 as creditable to ,marguerite especially1 that she willingly consented to be ,queen without a coronation1 as the then present poverty of the finances offered an obstacle to the ceremony4 ,isabelle of ,france1 the consort of ,edward ,,ii41 was a lady of another quality4 ,her outfit1 when it was displayed in ,london1 perfectly astounded the beholders4 ,the ,queen of ,fairyland could have had nothing more splendid2 and mortal wives could not have been more usefully endowed4 ,the ladies of households1 as they talked the matter over at their own chimneys1 expatiated on the hundreds of yards of linen for the bath1 and the six dozen ,french nightcaps4 ,these were pronounced 8loves20 and every unmarried daughter1 whose heart wore the figure of a bachelor knight1 determined that when another night arrived1 her head should wear nothing less than a 8coiffe de nuit la ,reine40 ,philippa of ,hainault1 ,queen of ,edward ,,iii41 ranks among the reasonable as well as the glorious ladies4 ,she was simple in her dress and gentle to the maids who decked her4 ,while she dressed not beneath her dignity1 she was mindful that a plain dignity suited best a ,queen whose crown had been pawned1 for the same reason that less noble persons pawn their spoons4 ,in her later days1 she fell into dropsy and a loose style of covering it4 ,richard ,,ii4 pledged half his own jewels to pay for his bride and bridal1--the former was ,anne of ,bohemia4 ,this lady was not only a member of the ,order of the ,garter1 but she was attended by ladies who were also associates of that noble company1--pleasanter associates there could not have been2 and ,i wish that the fashion were still observed1 and that ,i could enumerate some of my fair friends on the roll2 and then we might ride double to the festival1 for 8,this riding double was no crime ,in the great ,king ,edward's time4 ,no brave man thought himself disgraced ,by two fair arms about his waist2 ,nor did the lady blush vermilion1 ,dancing on the lover's pillion4 ,why8 ,because all modes and actions ,bow'd not then to ,vulgar ,fractions2 ,nor were tested all resources ,by the power to purchase horses40 ,there is little said about ,anne's style of dressing2 but two things are told of her1 better worth the telling4 ,she ruled her husband without his ever suspecting it1 and she did this by a soft voice and gentle ways2--this to the newly-espoused ladies4 ,the second circumstance was not publicly known until after her death4 ,it was told at her grave-side at ,westminster1 by ,arundel1 ,archbishop of ,canterbury1 who stated1 that this good ,queen passed her leisure hours in reading the ,scriptures in the vulgar tongue4 ,this was perhaps in the ,bohemian tongue2 for ,bohemia possessed a translation long before ,england4 ,richard's second wife1 ,isabella of ,valois1 was as inordinately fond of dress as her husband was2 and never1 perhaps1 were royal couple so profusely provided with means whereby to look well in the eyes of men4 ,but she was but a little child1 and he1 man-grown1 treated her as a daughter4 ,little did ,isabella have cause to wear in ,england but the trappings of woe2 and the gems of tears1 ever set in her eyes1 were brighter than the jewels in her famous casket1 and about which1 the two ,crowns ultimately quarrelled with no more dignity than a couple of ,abigails4 ,queen ,joanna of ,navarre1 spouse of ,henry ,,iv41 and her ladies1 appear to have been attired at her coronation after much the same fashion as was observed at the crowning of ,queen ,victoria4 ,in after-days ,joanna1 who was terribly 8near10 dressed as ladies do who labour under that infirmity3 even her mourning for the ,king was calculated like a widow of small means2 and a black cloth gown at seven shillings and eightpence per yard1 with one and sixpence for the making1 and shoes at sevenpence per pair1 tend to show that the royal widow furnished herself at what may be called the 8mitigated affliction department40 ,how ,katherine of ,valois was wooed by ,henry ,v4 may be seen in ,shakspeare4 ,the record is probably as true as much that is penned down by those other poets1 the chroniclers4 ,she is the second ,queen of ,england who passed from the couch of a king to that of a soldier2 and ,katherine founded a new line of sovereigns when she gave her hand to ,owen ,tudor4 ,like all ,frenchwomen1 she dressed with taste2 and she deserved a better fate than to be left1 as her body was1 during so many years1 a spectacle for sightseers in ,westminster ,abbey4 ,her corpse1 removed from her tomb during repairs1 in the reign of her grandson1 ,henry ,,vii41 was never restored4 ,it became mummified1 and1 in a coffin with a loose lid1 was open to the eye and touch4 ,people kissed it for twopence1 until the year in which ,louis ,,xvi4 was beheaded1 and thrones began to tumble4 ,the ,revolution showing to what complexion royalty might come1 the body of ,katherine was deemed no longer profitable as a morsel1 nor indeed as an investment1 to those self-denying men1 the ,dean and ,chapter4 ,at the end of the last century1 when it became the fashion to sweep away kings and queens1 and nobody would pay to see their wretchedly-dressed mummies1 the body of ,katherine of ,france was unceremoniously swept off1 too1 into the general dust-hole covered by ,westminster ,abbey4 ,when old ,king ,ren married his daughter ,margaret of ,anjou to ,henry ,,vi41 he did what many modern fathers do1 and spent upon the festival a sum which would have served the bride and bridegroom for household expenses for a year4 ,margaret possessed little but the clothes in which she stood2 and she remains known as the most indifferently clad and the worst-fated of all our sovereign ladies4 ,but she was a woman of too much heart and intellect to care more about coifs and kirtles than they deserved4 ,it was one of her maids of honour1 ,elizabeth ,woodville1 who shared the throne of ,edward ,,iv41--a msalliance in every respect1 and unfortunate to all parties4 ,she however astonished the good people of ,reading by the 8bravery0 of her attire1 when she first appeared there as ,england's ,queen4 ,anne of ,warwick's whole reign with ,richard ,,iii4 was one of almost uninterrupted sickness1 and she more often wore the garb of the invalid than the costume of a queen4 ,the daughter of ,elizabeth ,woodville1 the good ,elizabeth of ,york1 wife of ,henry ,,vii41 was a lady who was never better dressed than at her coronation banquet in ,westminster ,hall1 where the ,king was a spectator and not a guest4 ,she sat in a kirtle of purple velvet1 furred with ermine bands in front2 and the ,lady ,katherine ,gray and ,mistress ,ditton went under the table1 and sat at the ,queen's feet2 while the ,countesses of ,oxford and ,rivers knelt on each side1 and now and then 8held a kerchief before her ,grace40 ,the milliners especially prayed for benison on this ,queen1 and justly2 for never had the dressmakers so fair and so faithful a patroness4 ,she was provident of what she well paid for2 and ,elizabeth did not think it beneath her to pay sixteen pence to her tailor1 ,robert ,addington1 8for mending eight gowns of divers colours1 for the ,queen's ,grace1 at #b;d4 apiece40 ,she also occasionally pawned her plate1 when she was pressed for money2 but altogether she was not an improvident ,queen4 ,elizabeth's young daughter1 ,mary1 sometime ,queen of ,france1 but who ultimately died ,duchess of ,suffolk1 was a sportive child in a cumbrous dress4 ,at four years of age she was provided1 according to a warrant still existing1 with kirtles of tawny damask and black satin2 gowns of green and crimson velvet1 edged with purple tinsel2 and1 as if to show that only outside appearance was cared for1 lined with nothing more costly than simple black buckram4 ,she was the widow1 almost as soon as she was the wife1 of ,louis ,,xii42 and1 after a marriage of some two months' duration1 she expressed her grief by retiring to the ,htel de ,cluny1 where1 clothed in white1 and confined in a darkened apartment lighted by wax tapers1 she kept mourning state during six long1 heavy weeks4 ,of the wives of ,henry ,,viii4 it is told that ,katherine of ,arragon entered ,london wearing 8a broad round hat40 ,she rose at five1 and she used to say that dressing-time was murdered time2 and she wore the habit of ,st4 ,francis of the third order1 of which she was a member1 beneath her ordinary attire4 ,anne of ,boleyn was a lady of another quality4 ,she was as long at her mirror as any modern maiden of them all2 and1 when arrayed for conquest1 perhaps no woman was ever more decidedly armed against the peace of mankind4 ,her costume was almost daily varied1 the only permanent fashion being the hanging sleeve1 to conceal the double tip of the little finger of her left hand2 and the kerchief over the neck1 on which was a slight mark1 which she had worn from her birth4 ,of course1 kerchief collar-bands and hanging sleeves were adopted by all who recognized in ,anne the undisputed ,queen of ,fashion4 ,jane ,seymour1 who married ,anne's husband the day after he had beheaded ,anne herself1 was far from having the taste of her predecessor4 ,she enjoyed the better fortune of dying a natural death1 and ,henry wept for her1 poor man6 because he lost the opportunity of otherwise disposing of her4 ,when ,anne of ,cleves first presented herself to him1 she was attired in abundance of petticoats1 8after the ,dutch fashion40 ,the ,king was horrified at such fashion1 but sturdy ,anne wore more petticoats1 in the same national mode1 on her wedding-day2 nor was it till the morrow that she put off her national dress and assumed one shaped according to the ,english mode1 and which1 we are told1 made her look more tolerable than she was before4 ,she had the most splendid wardrobe of all ,henry's ,queens1 with the worst taste in dress4 ,she was fonder of experimental cooking than of dress1--was more made for a buxom hostess than a ,queen1 and was most fortunate as ,queen when she laid down her dignity and retired with a pension1 and a neck secured against the ,king's violent affection for it4 ,katherine ,howard was in most things her very opposite1 in taste for dress as well as in observance of duty2 and ,katherine ,parr1 the sixth wife1 was superior to both4 ,the first ,protestant ,queen of ,england and preserver of ,cambridge ,university was not only a scholar but a 8very woman10--in which phrase ,i recognize one with a whole string of virtues and accomplishments4 ,she was a perfect mistress of the needle 7,queen ,adelaide herself was not a greater72 and her taste in dress was shown by her uniting magnificence of material with simplicity of form4 ,she was the third of our ,queens who descended from royalty to wed with a 8mere nobleman20 but as ,lady ,seymour1 good ,queen ,katherine was still the ,queen of ,hearts1 and when the ivy peered into her coffin at ,sudeley ,chapel1 and wound a wreath about her unconscious head1 she gained a crown which caused her less uneasiness than that she had worn as living ,queen4 ,it is a trait worth noticing1 both in ,mary ,tudor and in the times1 that she purchased six bonnets at #a apiece1 and two frontlets at #ajs41 at the shop of ,lady ,gresham1 the actual ,lady ,mayoress1 who was a near relation of the ,boleyns4 ,so that ,mary was not ashamed of humble relations1 nor a ,lady ,mayoress too proud to keep a shop4 ,this was when ,mary was only the 8,lady ,mary10 or ,princess4 ,when she became ,queen she was not disinclined to wrap her dignity in all the glory1 gold and brocade could give it4 ,her taste was not always of the best1 and young ladies will shudder as they hear that when ,mary was married1 she marred a superb wedding costume1 la ,franaise1 by wearing a black scarf and scarlet shoes6 ,true1 young ladies1 this was worse than burning ,protestants2--which1 after all1 she sanctioned less from inclination than that she had bloody men around her1 who put compulsory strain upon her tastes and feelings4 ,for one ,dr4 ,cahill1 who gloats over the 8glorious idea0 of massacring ,protestants1 there were a score then1 not only with the inclination but the power to give it effect2 which1 fortunately1 our friend of gloomy notoriety does not possess4 ,i have above said1 the 8shop0 of ,lady ,gresham4 ,until the #ajth or #abth of ,elizabeth there were but few silk-shops at all in ,london1 and those were invariably kept1 or served1 by females4 ,the supply too was very scanty4 ,stowe1 the antiquarian tailor1 says that citizens' wives in general were then constrained to wear knit caps of woollen yarn2 silver thread1 lace1 and silk being very scarce1 and only the very wealthy being able to purchase garments of which these materials formed a part2 and even then1 the husbands of ladies who desired to deck themselves in costly apparel1 were obliged to prove that they were 8gentlemen by descent40 ,when the ,princess ,elizabeth lost her mother1 her wardrobe1 which was none of the most brilliant before1 became of very mean condition4 ,lady ,bryan wrote to ,cromwell that 8she hath neither gown nor kirtle1 nor petticoat1 nor no manner of linen1 nor forsmocks1 nor kerchiefs1 nor rails 7night-dresses71 nor body stichets1 nor handkerchiefs1 nor sleeves1 nor mufflers1 nor biggins0 7the last two signifying day caps and night caps71 and the whole list showing that the little lady was as ill provided for as any villein's daughter in the land4 ,no wonder that she was at an early period smartly touched by rheumatism4 ,when she came to the court of ,edward ,,vi4 she was remarkable for the simplicity of her dress2 it was religiously grave1 as prescribed by the polemical #8,journaux des ,modes' edited by ,calvinistic divines4 ,dr4 ,aylmer1 in his #8,harbour for ,faithful ,subjects1' says3--8,the ,king1 her father1 left her rich clothes and jewels2 and ,i know it to be true1 that in seven years after his death she never in all that time looked upon that rich attire and precious jewels but once1 and that against her will2 and that there never came gold or stone upon her head till her sister forced her to lay off her former soberness1 and bear her company in her glittering gayness2 and then she so bore it that all might see that her body carried what her heart disliked4 ,i am sure that her maidenly apparel which she used in ,king ,edward's time1 made the noblemen's wives and daughters ashamed to be dressed and painted like peacocks1 being more moved with her most virtuous example than all that ever ,paul or ,peter wrote touching the matter40 ,the needle was the solace of ,elizabeth in her captivity in the ,tower and at ,woodstock1 and the instrument of her pastime in the days of her greatness4 ,taylor1 a very properly named poet to have sung the praise of the needle1 says of her in his poem3-- 8,when this great ,queen1 whose memory shall not ,by any turn of time be overcast1-- ,for when the world and all therein shall rot1 ,yet shall her glorious fame for ever last1-- ,when she a maid had many troubles past1 ,from gaol to gaol by ,marie's angry spleen1 ,and ,woodstock and the ,tower in prison fast1 ,and after all was ,england's peerless ,queen2 ,yet howsoever sorrow came or went1 ,she made the needle her companion still1 ,and in that exercise her time she spent1 ,as many living yet do know her skill4 ,thus she was still1 a captive or else crown'd1 ,a needlewoman royal and renowned40 ,she grew in love with costly suits when she became independent of church and grave churchmen2 and the officers of her wardrobe were continually recording in their journals that there were 8lost from her ,majesty's back0 gold enamelled acorns1 buttons1 aylets or eylets1 with which her dresses were sprinkled2 or rubies from her hat1 or diamonds1 pearls1 and tassels of gold2 but always from the royal back1 whence they were cut by the over-loyal1 as the ,russian princess the other day stole the great jewel from the ,moscow 8,virgin10 out of piety and a taste for gems4 ,she kissed the figure1 and carried away the precious stone in her mouth4 ,when the ,scottish ,queen1 ,mary of ,lorraine1 came to visit ,edward ,,vi41 she deluged the court with new ,french fashions2 8so that all the ladies went with their hair frowsed1 curled1 and double-curled1 except the ,princess ,elizabeth1 who altered nothing10 says ,aylmer1 8but kept her old maiden shamefacedness40 ,in latter days ,elizabeth had other ways2 and we read with astonishment of her never-to-be-forgotten eighty wigs1 with her 8weeds 7costume7 of every civilized country10 and her appearing in a fresh one every day4 ,after all1 it is questionable if she was a better 8dresser0 than the fair ,gabrielle1 of whom the chivalrous ,unton writes to ,elizabeth that she was 8very silly1 very unbecomingly dressed1 and grossly painted40 ,but this was a courtier speaking of one woman to another1 and his testimony is to be taken with reserve4 ,elizabeth was in another respect more like ,marie ,antoinette1 for she had a dairy at ,barn-,elmes1 where she played the milkmaid1 as the poor ,queen of ,france used at ,trianon4 ,if we may trust ,la ,mothe ,fnelon1 ,leicester was as much the ,queen's 8maid0 as her ,master of the ,horse4 ,the ,french ,ambassador says1 that the public was displeased with the familiar offices he rendered at her toilet4 ,he was in her bed-chamber ere she arose2 and there1 according to the reports of men who denounced his privileges merely because they were not their own1 he would hand to her a garment which did not become the hands of a ,master of the ,horse1 and would dare to 8kiss her ,majesty when he was not even invited thereto10 but when1 as he very well knew1 8he was right welcome40 ,for ,elizabeth took all she could get1 even 8nightcaps10 which were among the presents sent to propitiate her by the ,queen of ,scots4 ,she took with both hands2 and gave1 as she herself truly said1 only with the little finger4 ,she ever graciously received new-year's gifts that enriched her wardrobe2 and was especially wroth with the ,bishop of ,london for preaching too strictly against vanity of attire4 ,when she saw ,harrington in a frieze jerkin1 she declared that the cut liked her well1 and she would have one like it for her own wear2 but she spat on ,sir ,matthew ,arundel's fringed suit1 with the remark1--8,the fool's wit is gone to rags4 ,heaven spare me from such gibing60 ,a queen of later days would not think of assuming the fashion of ,lord ,palmerston's paletot1 nor spoil the uniform of a bran-new deputy-lieutenant1 as ,elizabeth did ,sir ,matthew ,arundel's embroidery4 ,i believe our ,gracious ,sovereign never went further in this direction than to laugh good-humouredly at the ,duke of ,wellington's hair when he had had it newly cropped1 as was his wont1 into the appearance of short bristles on a scrubbing-brush4 ,if it be true that ,leicester helped her at her toilet1 he was the only happy individual who enjoyed the privilege4 ,at least1 in her mature years she had a horror of being seen en dshabille4 ,essex once came upon her unexpectedly in the hands of her tiring-maids1 and hardly escaped with his ears4 ,talbot1 the ,earl of ,shrewsbury's son1 also once beheld her in her night-gear1 as she stood at a window to look out at a ,may morning4 ,the ,virgo1 magis quam tempestiva1 hurried away with such blushes as she could call up at forty-five4 ,twenty years before she would have shown less haste and more discretion2 at forty-five1 in her 8night-stuff0 at sunrise1--no ,gyges would have thanked ,candaules for letting his eye rest on so questionable a vision4 ,even in her midday glories1 she was no attractive sight as she grew in years4 ,see her going to prayers1 when her threescore years had thrice as many nobles to honour them1 and she walking amid all1 wrinkled1 small-eyed1 with teeth that made her smile hideous1 and with not only false hair1 but that hair red4 ,hurtzner1 who saw her on one of these occasions1 says3--8,her bosom was uncovered1 as all the ,english ladies have it till they marry1 and she had on a necklace of exceeding fine jewels4444 ,she was dressed in white silk1 bordered with pearls of the size of beans2 and over it a mantle of black silk1 shot with silver threads2 her train was very long1 the end of it borne by a marchioness2 the ladies of the court followed next to her1 very handsome and well-shaped1 and for the most part dressed in white40 ,the older she grew1 the more splendidly she bedizened herself1--as decaying matter puts on variety of colour4 8,she imagined10 says ,bacon1 8that the people1 who are much influenced by externals1 would be diverted1 by the glitter of her jewels1 from noticing the decay of her personal attractions40 ,the people were not such simpletons1 and they saw plainly enough that she was dying1 in spite of the majesty of her exquisitely braided periwig4 ,anne of ,denmark1 the next ,queen of ,england1 did not look queenly even in ,elizabeth's robes4 ,her taste in dress was extremely bad4 ,she patronized especially the huge farthingales1 high behind1 low before1 and swelling out into unlimited space on all sides4 ,these monstrous dresses were kept in countenance by the as monstrous padded costumes of the courtiers2 and it was not very unusual for a bevy of the bearers of them to stick fast in the narrow passages1 whence only dexterity could decently disentangle them4 ,the ,king issued a proclamation against the farthingales2 but the ladies1 to show their contempt for his authority in matters of fashion1 continued to wear them till he died1--and then left them off4 ,spirited women6 ,king ,charles wore a white mantle at his coronation1 and when his poor hearse1 poorly attended1 crossed the yard of ,windsor ,castle1 the snow descended upon it1 and covered the coffin as it was taken out with its silently-falling flakes2 and so1 from crown to grave1 ,charles was1 as his servants used to call him1 8the ,white ,king40 ,his consort1 ,henrietta ,maria1 was fond of the colour1--that in which ,mary ,tudor had mourned4 ,but poor ,henrietta1 less fortunate than the sister of ,henry ,,viii41 gay and graceful as she was at her husband's court1 was too ill-conditioned in ,france to dress becomingly even in weeds4 ,she was one of the founders of good taste in ,england2 and in her exile she wore contentedly the coarsest stuffs4 ,but then ,louis ,,xiv4 buried her splendidly at his own cost2 and ,charles ,,ii4 and his people spent twice as much in a six months' mourning for her as would have sufficed to have kept her and her household for ever4 ,when ,katherine of ,braganza landed in ,england as ,queen ,consort of ,charles ,,ii41 she excited mirth by the stiff outlandish fashion in which her luxuriant tresses were done up by her ,majesty's 8barber10 and her exceedingly ugly maids of honour4 ,indeed she had as little taste for dress as she had for the fine arts2 though she had a taste for music4 ,in full court dress1 however1 she looked a handsome woman1--without studying how she might best become so4 ,pepys has recorded that he saw her and the ,king dining together once1 on which occasion she wore a loose white wrapping gown1 as was supposed to become her imaginary condition2 and ,pepys adds1 that she looked handsomer in it than in her robes of state and ceremony4 ,mary ,beatrice of ,modena1 the wife of ,james ,,ii41 is remarkable for her detestation of rouge1 and for her wearing it in obedience to her husband's wishes4 ,ladies will be pleased to make a note1 not so much of the fact as of the motive4 ,father ,seraphine1 her ,capuchin confessor gave an impudent stare of horror when he beheld it2 and as she murmured something about the paleness of her complexion1 he exclaimed1--and in the very face of the ,king too1--8,madam1 ,i would rather see your ,majesty yellow or green than rouged20 at which the good lady fell a laughing1 as servilely as a barrister at a judicial bad joke1 such as ,baron ,alderson's light puns1 with which he cuts short heavy suits4 ,this is almost the only trait of interest told in connection with her toilet4 ,it was simply observed that in ,england she dressed as became her state2 and in exile1 as became a lady whose dower was stolen by ,william ,,iii4 and appropriated to his own use4 ,apply it as he would1 he could never look so well as the owner4 ,she cared little for that of which ,elizabeth thought so much2 and when1 in after-days1 it was remarked that she dressed as plainly as a citizen's wife1 and wore no jewels1 it was known that she had sold her jewels1 to profit her son4 ,as often happens with mothers who despoil themselves to benefit their boys1 the gift profited neither the recipient nor the giver4 ,the splendour of the silver ornaments of her toilet was well known2 and the ladies of ,france could well appreciate the sacrifice1 which was in truth no sacrifice to her who made it4 ,queen ,mary ,,ii41 if she rolled joyously over the couches from which her affectionate father had just before been rolled off1 the unfilial romp was1 at least1 a private bit of ingratitude4 ,she did not1 like her sister ,anne1 go to the play in a dress covered with orange ribbons4 ,mary1 in her later days1 patronized the cornette head-dresses of monumental elevation1 and the fontanges1 of which she was desirous to deprive1 by royal decree too1 the 8city minxes20 but the ladies beyond ,temple ,bar would neither heed her decrees nor wear the high-crowned hat1 which had fallen into disuse save by the pagani1 and they continued to 8flaunt in cornettes and top-knots1 after her own gracious example40 ,anne was too lame to walk at her coronation1 and accordingly she was carried in a low sedan chair2 and as she could not take her huge train with her1 the same was as gravely carried by the privileged bearers behind the chair1 as though it had been hanging from the back of her most sacred person4 ,she was indifferently dressed for the occasion1 but there were two figures present whose appearance compensated for whatever lacked4 ,the ,queen1 being 8,queen of ,france0 as well as of ,england1 must necessarily be attended by her ,french nobility2 but as the real article was not to be had1 a spurious one was invented1 and two men1 named ,clarke and ,andrews1 were dressed up to represent the ,dukes of ,normandy and ,aquitaine4 ,they stood at the foot of the throne1 answered to their fictitious titles1 and looked1 like all shams1 very much embarrassed and supremely ridiculous4 ,if this ,queen was not a very splendid dresser1 the makers and washers of her dresses had profitable places under her4 ,mrs4 ,abrahal enjoyed a pension of one hundred a year1 in return for having 8washed and starched the ,queen's heads 7triple-tiered caps1 brought into fashion by ,maintenon7 when she was princess1 for twenty pounds a year40 ,the ,queen's sempstress came off more fortunately still2 for ,mrs4 ,ravensford pricked the heart of a gallant as easily as she could pierce her own pincushion1 and ultimately married the son of the ,bishop of ,ely4 ,and such lawn sleeves she made for her father-in-law6 ,but it was a reign in which the devisers of garments had a lucky time of it4 ,i may instance ,john ,duddlestone1 the bodice-maker of ,bristol1 who asked ,prince ,george to dinner when none of the ,bristol merchants had the hospitality to do so4 ,the ,prince accepted the invitation1 kissed ,dame ,duddlestone1 ate his beef and pudding with more appetite after such a grace1 and ultimately presented the pair to the ,queen at ,windsor4 ,anne not only invited them to dine with her1 but1 like the ,french lady who used to find all her male visitors in black velvet breeches1 attired him in a suit of violet velvet at her own cost2 and when the bottle had gone a round or two1 drew her husband's sword1 and laying it on the bodice-maker's shoulder1 bade him 8stand up1 ,sir ,john60 ,the full dress of ,queen ,anne's time was perhaps never seen to more advantage than at the grand soires which the obese lady gave in that conservatory at ,kensington which1 as ,defoe says1 she was afterwards pleased to turn into a summer supper-room4 ,the well-known old building was indeed divided into three rooms1--a ball-room1 with a drawing and music-room on either side4 ,the ,corinthian pillars1 the elegant friezes1 and the niches for statues bearing girandoles1 are yet to be seen4 ,the ,queen came to the parties given in this modest ,trianon in a chair1 by the gate on the north-west of the palace4 ,concerts1 balls1 and illuminated galas al fresco1 were the usual entertainments2 and to witness them the wealthy public were admitted1 on condition of their appearing in full dress2--the ladies patched1 feathered1 sacked1 or hooped2 the gentlemen in three-cornered hats1 velvet coats with stupendous skirts1 powder on the head1 a bodkin across the loins1 and two inches of heel to give increase of dignity4 ,where the ,broad ,walk now exists there was then a railing2 and through this the mobility1--worse dressed1 but probably not less washed1 than their betters1--looked on at the genteel people who glided about the gardens in brocaded robes1 hoops1 fly-caps1 and fans4 ,indifferent as ,anne's clothing was1 there were terrible squabbles1 touching the cast-off garments1 between the ,duchess of ,marlborough1 who was ,mistress of the ,robes1 and the bed-chamber women and dressers4 ,these complained that they only received very old mantuas1 and sacks1 and gowns1 petticoats1 commodes1 head-clothes1 and mantes1 from the ,duchess1 who kept all the best of the old clothes1 they said1 for her own wear4 ,her ,grace1 in return1 rated them as hussies2 told them that she had a right to all1 and that they could claim none1 although she gave1 out of her liberality1 more than they deserved4 ,nay1 she so well distributed the cast-off garments among the subaltern ladies1 that of petticoats and other habits left1 she had1 as she protested1 8only two or three for my own service40 ,such was the delicacy of a ducal ,mistress of the ,robes in the palmy days of ,queen ,anne4 8,mistress0 indeed she was1 and what a virago to boot6 ,witness the incident when ,anne was entering ,st4 ,paul's1 the ,duchess at her side1 to render thanks for the great victory achieved at ,oudenarde4 ,the ,duchess of ,marlborough had had the royal jewels newly set for that especial day2 and sublime was her horror1 as the royal carriage ascended ,ludgate-hill1 at observing that the ,queen had no jewels at all about her4 ,the vicinity to ,billingsgate lent power to the vituperative eloquence of the offended wife of the ,general whose valour had won the victory4 ,the ,queen1 for once1 was not an iota less vituperatively eloquent than her ,mistress of the ,robes4 ,as they mounted the steps1 and entered the cathedral1 they flew at one another with winged words1 that fly swiftly1 and wound where'er they fall4 ,anne's voice was by far the louder2 and for every thrust of the ,duchess's tongue1 she fired a volley of asseverations that made the lieges long to tear the 8,mistress's0 robes from her own back4 ,that lady saw as much herself1 and became alarmed2 but1 like a skilful general1 she had the last shot1 and fairly battered the ,queen into silence1 as she attempted to renew the contest in the royal pew1 by the imperative order to 8hold your tongue60--8don't answer me60--and poor ,anne obeyed4 ,but if ,anne claimed the privilege of dressing as she pleased1 she was angry if the necessary etiquette was disregarded by others4 ,when ,eugene of ,savoy came over here in #agab1 to uphold1 as well as he could with his one hand1 the war-faction against the ,queen1 he marvellously offended her by appearing in her august presence in a tie-wig4 ,mr4 ,secretary ,st4 ,john1 who presented him1 wore a periwig so huge that he perfectly extinguished therewith the illustrious stranger whom he held by the hand4 ,eugene had been forewarned that the ,queen could not bear to look upon a man unless he were covered with a full-bottomed periwig4 ,eugene carelessly1 and not truthfully1 answered1 as he stood in the royal antechamber1 8,i don't know what to do2 ,i never had a long periwig in my life2 and ,i have sent to all my valets and footmen to know if any of them have one1 that ,i might borrow it2 but no one has such a thing40 ,and so the ,prince was conducted to the ,queen1 who thought more of the tie-wig on his head than she did of the gallant heart that beat within his 8plaguy yellow and literally ugly0 person4 ,queen ,anne1 on the death of ,prince ,george of ,denmark1 wore black and white1 with a mixture of purple in some part of her dress4 ,the precedent was taken from that worn by ,mary ,queen of ,scots for the ,earl of ,darnley4 ,mourning1 with such variety in it1 was1 after all1 better than none4 ,the ,pope's nieces1 for instance1 never wear mourning1 not even for their nearest relatives4 ,the ,romans account it so great a happiness for a family to have a ,pope in it1 that they think no calamity whatever ought to be permitted to afflict his ,holiness's kindred6 ,on the other hand1 the dowager ,empresses of ,germany were accustomed never to leave off their mourning1 and even their apartments were hung with black till their death4 ,i will just add1 that the ,french ,queens1 previous to the era of ,charles ,,viii41 wore white upon the decease of the ,king4 ,they were thence called 8,reines blanches40 ,in later days1 the state mourning of the ,french court was purple4 ,consequently1 when ,anne wore white1 black1 and purple1 in mourning for her departed lord1 she put on the suits of woe sanctioned by the practice of three different courts4 ,sophia ,dorothea1 the wife of ,george ,i41 was the second of the royal consorts of ,england who never visited our shores4 ,for allowing ,count ,knigsmark to kiss her hand1 her jealous husband murdered the ,count1 and shut the lady up in prison for more than thirty years4 ,in her youth she was a charming person1 charmingly dressed4 ,the most touching circumstance of her long captivity was her weekly appearance1 all clad in white1 at the communion-table of the chapel of her prison-house1 the ,castle of ,alden1 where she partook of the sacrament1 made solemn asseveration of her innocence1 and forgave her enemies4 ,the process of dressing ,marie ,antoinette1 it will be seen in another page1 was at times a splendid misery4 ,that of ,queen ,caroline1 the wife of ,george ,,ii41 was a splendid mockery4 ,horace ,walpole describes a scene as having taken place in ,queen ,anne's tiring-room1 which really occurred in that of the sovereign lady of the second ,george4 ,this exemplary ,queen dressed and transacted her early worship at one and the same moment4 ,she and her nymphs were in one room1 the chaplain solus in another4 ,occasionally these nymphs1 in their discretion1 closed the door4 ,whenever this occurred1 the chaplain1 liberal ,whiston1 ceased to pray1 and meditated on the mysteries proceeding within4 ,this observance nettled the ,queen1 and did not please her ladies4 ,one of the latter1 on re-opening the door one morning1 and finding the chaplain had not progressed in his duties while he had been shut out1 angrily inquired1 8,why did you stop80 8,i stopped10 said ,whiston1 8because ,i do not choose to whistle the word of ,god through the key-hole40 ,it is not to be wondered at1 since queens afforded such examples of laxity1 that fine ladies followed with alacrity the unseemly fashion4 ,miss ,strickland notices the fact1 that great ladies had1 in the days upon which we are treating1 a bad custom of proceeding with the affairs of the toilet during prayers2 which was severely satirized1 says the fair historian1 in one of the old plays of that era1 8where the fashionable belle is described preparing for her morning toilet1 by saying her prayers in bed to save time1 while one maid put on her stockings1 and the other read aloud the play-bill40 ,the consort of ,george ,,iii41 the 8good0 ,queen ,charlotte1 lived in a transition time1 and wore the costumes of two separate centuries4 ,the little lady lacked taste2 and though she set the fashion to loyal maids and matrons1 seldom became the robes she wore4 ,but at the worst of these periods she displayed more taste1 and1 what is better than taste1 more personal cleanliness1 than her daughter-in-law1 the coarse wife of the heartless ,george ,,iv4 ,queen ,adelaide was simply a lady4 ,expensive dresses were her abhorrence2 and she never put on a robe of state without a sigh at the cost4 ,in any sphere of life she would have been a thoroughly tidy1 honest1 careful housewife4 ,except for a few days1 ,queen ,victoria has not resided at ,anne's favourite ,kensington since her accession4 ,in her early days1 the then little princess1--clad so simply that it is wonderful the middle classes did not avail themselves of the example1 and dress their darlings less tawdrily1--might be seen of a bright morning in the enclosure in front of the palace1 her mother at her side4 ,on one of these occasions ,i remember seeing a footman1 after due instruction given1 bringing out to the lively daughter of the ,duke of ,kent a doll most splendidly attired1--sufficiently so to pass for the of an heiress1 and captivate whole legions of male poupes1 all gold without1 and sawdust within4 ,the brilliant effigy1 however1 had no other effect upon the little princess but to put her in a passion4 ,she stamped her little foot and shook her lustrous curls1 and evidently the liveried ,mercury had unwittingly disobeyed her bidding4 ,he disappeared for a minute or two1 but returned1 bearing with him a very torso of a doll4 ,a marine-store dealer would not have hung up such an image1 even to denote that he dealt in stolen goods1 and 8no questions asked40 ,but the unhappily deformed image was the loadstone of the youthful affections of the princess4 ,she seized it with frantic delight1 skipped with it over the grass1 gambolled with it1 laughed over it1 and finally1 in the very exuberance of joy1 thrust it so suddenly up to the face of a short old lady1 who was contemplating the scene from the low iron fence1 that the stranger started back and knew not well what to make of it2 thereupon the maternal ,mentor advanced1 and something like an apology appeared to be offered1 but this was done with such a shower of saucy 8curtsies10--so droll1 so rapid1 so 8audacious10 and so full of hearty1 innocent1 uncontrollable fun1--that duchess1 princess1 old lady1 and the few spectators of the scene1 broke into as much laughter as biensance would permit2 and some of them1 no doubt1 8exclaimed mentally10 as well-bred people do in novels1 that there was a royal ,english girl1 who had most unquestionably a heart and a will of her own1--and may ,god bless both6 ,i have noticed above how queens of foreign birth introduced to our ancestresses fashions of which their young imaginations had never dreamed4 ,the origin of all fashion then1 as now1 was in ,france2 and thitherward we now will take our way4 8,,la ,,mode0 ,,in ,,her ,,birth-,,place4 ,chacun sa mode1 et les nes l'ancienne4--,,modish ,,proverb4 ,the ,honourable ,james ,howard1 in the year #agfd1 wrote a sprightly comedy1 entitled #8,the ,english ,monsieur4' ,the hero is an individual who sees nothing ,english that is not execrable4 ,an ,english meal is poison1 and an ,english coat degradation4 ,he once challenged a tasteless individual who had praised an ,english dinner2 and1 says the ,english ,monsieur1 8,i ran him through his mistaken palate1 which made me think the hand of justice guided my sword40 ,he can tell whether ,english or ,french ladies have passed along the moist road before him1 by the impressions that they leave4 8,i have often10 he remarks1 8in ,france1 observed in gardens1 when the company used to walk after a small shower of rain1 the impression of the ,french ladies' feet4 ,i have seen such bonne mine in their footsteps1 that the ,king of ,france's matre de danse could not have found fault with any one tread amongst them all4 ,in this walk10 he adds1 8,i find the toes of ,english ladies ready to tread upon one another40 ,subsequently our 8,english ,monsieur0 quarrels with a friend1 because he had found fault with 8a pair of ,french tops0 worn by the ,philogallist1 and which were so noisy when the wearer moved in them1 that the other's mistress could not hear a word of the love made to her4 ,the wearer justifies the noise as a fashionable ,french noise2 8for look you1 ,sir1 a ,french noise is agreeable to the air1 and therefore not unagreeable1 and therefore not prejudicial to the hearing2 that is to say1 to a person who has seen the world40 ,the slave of ,gallomania even finds comfort1 when his own mistress rejects him1 in the thought that 8'twas a denial with a ,french tone of voice1 so that 'twas agreeable60 and when she bids him a final adieu1 he remarks to a friend1 8,do you see1 ,sir1 how she leaves us8 she walks away with a ,french step40 ,such was the early allegiance rendered even in this country to the authority of ,france in the matters of 8,mode10 of that ever-variable queen1 of whom a ,french writer himself has despairingly said1 that she is the despot of ladies and fops2 8,la mode est le tyran des femmes et des fats40 ,but ,paris is the focus of insurrection1 and ,fashion itself has had to endure many a rebellious assault4 ,never was rebellion more determined than that carried on against towering plumes4 ,in ,paris1 feathers and head-dress extended so outrageously1 both in a vertical and a horizontal direction1 that a row of ladies in the pit stalls1 or in the front row of the boxes1 effectually barred the 8spectacle0 from an entire audience in the rear4 ,the fashion was suppressed by a ,swiss1 who was as well known in the ,paris theatres as the celebrated critical trunk-maker once was in our own galleries4 ,the ,swiss used to attend1 armed with a pair of scissors2 and when he found his view obstructed by the head-dresses in front1 he made a demonstration of cutting away all the superfluous portions of the head-dresses which interfered with his enjoyment4 ,at first1 the result was that the ladies made way for him1 and he obtained a front place2 but overcome by his obstinate warfare they at length hauled down their top-knots1 and by yielding defeated the ,swiss1--for he never got a front place afterwards4 ,i will take the liberty of adding here1 that the fans used by ,queen ,elizabeth were usually made of feathers1 and were as large as a modern hand fire-screen1 with all sorts of devices thereon1 such as would have singularly delighted an astronomical ,chinese philosopher4 ,sir ,francis ,drake gave her one of this description1 and she used to leave fans of a similar description at country houses as memorials of her visits2 as1 for instance1 when she left ,hawsted ,hall1 she dropped her silver-handled fan into the moat4 ,happy of course was the lucky man who got it thence4 ,but to get back to ,france4 ,carlin1 the famous ,french harlequin1 once excited universal laughter by appearing on the stage1 not with the usual rabbit's tail in his harlequin's cap1 but with a peacock's feather1 and that of such length1 that the stage was hardly high enough for him4 ,if the laughter however was universal1 there was not wanting something of indignation1 for lofty feathers formed a fashion in which ,marie ,antoinette very much rejoiced1 and old royalists thought that ,carlin ought to be sent to prison for his impertinence2 but ,carlin had not ventured on the caricature but by superior order1 and the ,king would not consent to his being molested4 ,the fashion deserved to be caricatured1 for feathers and head-dresses had raised themselves to such an outrageous elevation1 when ,mdlle4 ,bertin1 the milliner1 and ,marie ,antoinette set a fashion between them which ruined many a family1 that they who followed the mode to the extreme were compelled1 as they rode in carriages1 either to hang their heads out at the door1 or to set on the floor of the vehicle4 ,when ,hardicanute lived at the house of ,osgod ,clappa1 the ,clapham district1 which took its name from the chief1 was not half so obsequious in copying the costume and carriage of the royal dandy1 as all ,france was in transforming themselves into multiplied copies of the consort of ,louis ,,xvi4 ,and what a cruel ceremony was the dressing of that same ,queen6 ,when ,marie ,antoinette1 in the days of her cumbersome greatness1 stood of a morning in the centre of her bed-chamber1 awaiting1 after her bath1 her first article of dress1 it was presented to her1 or rather it was passed over her royal shoulders by the 8dames d'honneur40 ,perhaps1 at the very moment1 a princess of the blood entered the room 7for ,french ,queens both dressed and dined in public71 the right of putting on the primal garment of her ,majesty immediately devolved upon her1 but it could not be yielded to her by the 8dame d'honneur20 the latter1 arresting the chemise de la ,reine as it was passing down the royal back1 adroitly whipped it off1 and1 presenting it to the 8premire dame10 that noble lady transferred it to the princess of the blood4 ,madame ,campan had once to give it up to the ,duchess of ,orlans1 who1 solemnly taking the same1 was on the point of throwing it over the ,queen's head1 when a scratching 7it was contrary to etiquette to knock7 was heard at the door of the room4 ,thereupon entered the ,countess de ,provence1 and she being nearer to the throne than the lady of ,orlans1 the latter made over her office to the new-comer4 ,in the meantime1 the ,queen stood like ,venus as to covering1 but shaking with cold1 for it was mid-winter1 and muttering 8what an odious nuisance60 ,the ,countess de ,provence entered on the mission which had fallen to her2 and this she did so awkwardly1 that she entirely demolished a head-dress which had taken three hours to build4 ,the ,queen beheld the devastation1 and got warm by laughing outright4 ,as ,england had its 8macaronies10 its 8bloods10 its 8bucks10 its 8dandies10 and its 8exquisites10 so ,france had its 8hommes bonnes fortunes10 its 8petits-matres10 its 8importuns10 its 8lgans10 and last of all1 its 8lions40 ,with us1 variety of names scarcely indicated variety of species2 the 8macaroni0 and the 8exquisite0 were simply the fast and fashionable men of their respective times2 their titles were conferred by the people1 not arrogated by themselves4 ,it was otherwise with our neighbours4 ,the 8hommes bonnes fortunes0 assumed the appellation1 and therewith became the terror of fathers and husbands4 ,his glory was to create a 8scandal0--to be ever mixed up with the coteries of the women1 and to be for ever fighting the men4 ,compared with him1 the 8importuns10 who took the ,duc de ,beaufort for their ,magnus ,apollo1 and the 8petits-matres10 who swore by their great master1 the ,prince de ,cond1 were simply harmless fops4 ,the 8elegant0 was the first of the butterfly race who exhibited a calmness of bearing4 ,he smiled rather than answered1 when spoken to2 never gazed at his reflection in a glass1 but concentrated his looks upon his own proper person4 ,he was in a continual calm ecstasy at the sight of so charming a doll1 so admirably dressed4 8,the #8elegant1'0 says ,mercier1 8pays visits of not more than a quarter of an hour's duration4 ,he no longer proclaims himself the #8friend of the duke1' the #8lover of the duchess1' or the #8indispensable man at little suppers4' ,he speaks of the retirement in which he lives1 of the chemistry which he studies1 of his distaste for the great world4 ,he lets others speak2 and while they speak1 an almost imperceptible smile of derision flutters on his lips4 ,he is dreaming while he listens to you4 ,he does not noisily leave a room1 but glides out of it2 and a quarter of an hour after he has quitted you1 he writes you a note1 as if he had not seen you for months1 just to show you that he is an absent man40 ,the 8elegant0 was not without his uses4 ,he brought down superlativeism4 ,exaggeration of speech and of dress went out as he came in4 ,this change extended to female as well as male society4 ,he rendered social intercourse however a difficulty for intellectual men4 ,the latter had indeed no difficulty in talking of science with the wise1 of knowledge with the learned1 of war with the soldier1 and of dogs and horses with the nobles2 but he did find a difficulty in talking about nothing with those fashionable women who cared only for the subject most patronized by the 8elegant40 ,what dreadful guys were the ,french children of the middle of the last century6 ,their monkeys1 who danced upon cords1 for the edification of the grande nation1 were not more ridiculous4 ,fancy a boy seven years old3 his head was powdered profusely1 and between his little shoulders hung the wide tie or bag of his hair4 ,therewith he wore a full-sleeved and broad-skirted coat1 immense ruffles1 a cocked hat1 not on his head1--it was not big enough for that1--but beneath his arm2 and upon his tobacco-pipe of a thigh there hung a needle of a sword6 ,and this young old man could hold himself erect1 could bow like a judge1 and was kept lean by late hours4 ,he had1 in the common acceptation of the words1 neither wrists1 arms1 nor legs of his own4 ,he seemed jointless1 but he had been taught how to sit down1 and how to walk a minuet4 ,mercier groans over the contrast between ,french and ,english boys of this period4 ,take1 he says1 a little ,gallic monseigneur to ,london1 and introduce him to the son of a lord1 a boy of his own age4 ,what does he see8 ,clean1 fair1 and long flowing hair2 the skin pure and healthy2 the head unmolested by a peruke2 the body supple and robust4 ,the little ,frenchman might be sulky thereat1 but he found consolation in his gold-laced embroidery4 ,he thinks to make an impression on the other boy by his profound bows1 at which the ,english lad laughs2 and when1 according to the ,french custom1 the little monseigneur advances to embrace the youthful ,briton1 the latter skips off1 with the exclamation1 that they wanted to take him in by pretending to introduce him to a playfellow1 which proved to be only a monkey4 ,the extravagances of fashion were carried to the utmost in ,france when it was the custom for ladies not only to keep the head powdered and uncleaned1 but to wear over it a napkin less clean still4 ,the authors of the period are murderously satirical against a mode which especially prescribes that the napkin should not only seem dirty1 but be so4 ,lady ,mary ,wortley ,montague however thought the idea admirable1 and she adopted it with a nasty alacrity4 ,the fashion nevertheless could not long 8obtain10 and soon we find la ,mode raised from an art to a science1 and women devoting themselves to the study thereof with an intensity worthy of a better cause4 ,a pretty woman1 says ,mercier1 meaning thereby a pretty ,frenchwoman1 daily goes twice through the ceremony of the toilet4 ,the first was a mystery1 from which lovers were as rigorously banished as the profane from solemn rites in the temples of old4 ,a lover1 says ,mercier1 dare not enter his lady's tiring-bower but at an appointed hour4 ,you may deceive a woman1 but you must never come upon her by surprise3 that is the rule2 the most favoured and the most liberal of lovers never dares to infringe thereon4 ,mercier however seems to have had free admission to the performance of the early ceremony2 for he says that thereat mysterious use was made of all the cosmetics whose application beautifies the skin4 ,he only alludes to 8other preparations which1 among women1 form a science apart1--ah6 ,i might say1 a whole encyclopdia40 ,the second toilet he describes as a game invented by coquetry4 ,if faces be thus made before a glass1 it was1 he says1 with a studied grace4 ,it was not contemplation1 but admiration4 ,if the finger was run through the long curls1 it was only for effect1 for they had already been duly arranged and perfumed4 ,it was at this second toilet that the world was present4 ,the lovers fluttered round the half-dressed object of what they called their love1--and that object was only a quarter dressed1 and looking not unlike ,anadyomene herself as to form and feature and position1 but with a glance in her eyes and a significance in her bearing that bespoke much more the ,venus ,pandemia than the ,venus ,ourania4 ,and there too were the abbs1 who were permanent lovers wheresoever they were to be found2 they were of all sizes and conditions of health1 but they were all1 without exception1 gay1 gallant1 witty1 impudent1 and blasphemous beyond all belief1 and happily beyond all conception4 ,reputations were made and unmade at these morning toilets2 and as for the detail of the dressing1 while the coquet and causerie were going on1 it was very like that which ,pope has so brilliantly described in the ,rape of the ,lock1 and in which a reputation died at every word4 ,in modern days ,france has become more than ever the locality where the ,popess ,fashion is enthroned1 and whose slipper is reverently kissed by a devoted world4 ,parenthetically may ,i say that the custom of kissing the ,pontiff's slipper arose from the time when one of the ,leos1 having been offended by an act of one of his fingers1 cut it off1 and in his strange humility would no longer permit his hand to be saluted by the faithful4 ,that was a queer cause for a strange fashion2 but it rests only on legendary authority4 ,in ,france causes as strange1 sometimes more and sometimes less pleasant1 have fixed the fashion of the hour4 ,last century1--that is to say1 during something more than the traditionary 8nine days0 of that century1--the rage in ,paris was for pantaloons made1 from aloes1 the colour of a lady's finger-nails1 between rosy tint and delicate blue4 ,france not only gave the fashion for fine dresses1 but also prescribed how people should visit in them4 ,it was in ,paris1 about the year #aggj1 that was introduced the custom of visiting en blanc1 as it was called2 that is by leaving a card4 ,the old ladies and gentlemen who loved to show their costume1 called this fashion fantastic2 but it has its advantages1 and1 though sometimes anti-social1 is perhaps generally less so than it at first sight appears4 ,society would often gain nothing by the closer contact of individuals4 ,there was wit however in many of the modish inventions of the ,parisians4 ,here is an instance4 ,la ,harpe was the vainest of men1 and the most unfortunate of authors4 ,his pieces were invariably failures2 but he used to speak of their success with as little regard to truth as the ,czar ,nicholas and his ,muscovite 8gentlemen0 show1 when1 being thoroughly well beaten1 they go and outrage ,heaven with thanks for a victory4 ,la ,harpe's tragedy of 8,les ,barmcides0 was hissed off the stage2 but he complacently pottered about its merits4 ,he was one day riding in the ,bois de ,boulogne with the ,duchess de ,grammont and another lady1 when a man was heard calling for sale 8,cannes la ,barmcide40 ,la ,harpe rapturously summoned him to the carriage-door1 at the request of the ,duchess1 who wished to make him a present of a walking-stick la ,barmcide1 in celebration of the success achieved by his tragedy4 8,but why do you call your canes la ,barmcide80 said ,la ,harpe4 8,i will show you10 said the man2 and taking off the ivory head1 he pointed to a whistle within1 warranted to be shrill of note1 and which the vendor pronounced to be very useful to owners of good dogs and hissers of bad tragedies4 ,la ,harpe could have shed 8tears of bile10 says ,beaumarchais2 and1 what is worse1 the story got abroad1 and the tailors profited by it1 and sporting vests with a little pocket to carry a whistle1 were immediately named 8vestes la ,barmcide40 ,what the ,bourse and ,royal ,exchange are to the magnates of the commercial world1 the ,temple in ,paris is 7and ,rag ,fair and ,houndsditch in ,london are or have been7 to the dealers in the cast-off skins1 if we may so speak1 of glittering metropolitan and other snakes4 ,it is especially at ,paris that the commerce of renovated ancient garments 7dix-huits1 as they are sometimes called1 because deux fois neuf7 is carried on with eagerness4 ,the locality of the ,temple1 where knights displayed a sovereign splendour and the rous of ,paris laughed at the philosophers' splendid wit1--where kings put their plate in pawn1 and where the people made prisoners of kings1--was turned to something like base uses when1 upon its sacred or classic soil1--soil1 at all events1 on which flourished a giant crop of varied memories1--was erected the arcaded and pilastered rotunda1 beneath which dealers drove bargains in dilapidated habits4 ,the ,paris class of such dealers is a class apart1 who barter1 sell1 and re-sell2 and through whose hands pass the rejected garments of court and city4 ,there1 in old chests1 may still be found tarnished lace coats1 which once shone brilliantly at the court of ,louis ,,xv42 and embroidered robes1 whose original wearers sat at the suppers of the ,regent1 and laughed at ,heaven4 ,by the side of the republican carmagnole hangs the red robe of the parliamentary magistrates1 or judges rather1 with something of the senator annexed1--a little of the legislative with a trifle of the executive1 and not very much of either1--and who wore those scarlet robes on days of high rejoicing1 when the grand wearers of them were accustomed1 as they met at the tribunal1 not to bow but to curtsey to each other4 ,the act is not incongruous to the dress2 for when the ,turkish ,ambassador first saw our own judges in their crimson draperies1 seated in the ,house of ,lords1 he innocently asked who all those old ladies were who were huddled together and looked so uncomfortable4 ,but to return to ,paris4 ,it is to the ,temple that the correct comedian runs who would fain discover the proper type of a lost mode of the last century4 ,and this reminds me that the law in ,france is exceedingly strict1 even with respect to the costume of a comedian4 ,it is not many months since that a young ,french actress1 possessed with becoming ideas of decency1 refused to put on the extremely minute portion of transparent gauze which was allotted to her as her entire costume1 in a fairy piece then about to appear4 ,she averred that to stand so attired1 rather undressed than dressed1 before the public1 would be an insult to the audience and a degradation to herself4 ,the manager1 not more modest than those delicate creatures generally are1 did not comprehend1 and therefore could not respect1 the sentiment which influenced the young actress2 and he accordingly summoned her to the tribunal of the law4 ,the grave magistrate heard the case1 examined the bit of gauze1 condemned the poor girl to wear it1 and went in the evening to see how she looked4 ,the worthy official of the very blind ,astra repaired to the lady's 8loge0 when all was over1 and inquired pleasantly how she had felt when greeted by the acclamations of the audience4 8,i felt as if ,i were in the pillory10 said the really decens ,nympha1 8and that every shout was a missile flung at my head40 ,the solemn villain smiled1 tapped her on the cheek1 and bade her take courage2 8that foolish excess of modesty10 he said1 8would soon disappear60 ,thus we see that ,paris has not improved in this respect since the days when people saw 8the ,testament turned into melodramas nightly30-- 8,here ,daniel in pantomime bids bold defiance ,to ,nebuchadnezzar and all his stuff'd lions2 ,while pretty young ,israelites dance round the prophet1 ,in very thin clothing1 and but little of it4 ,here ,begrand1 who shines in this scriptural path ,as the lovely ,susanna1 without e'en a relic ,of drapery round her1 comes out of the bath ,in a manner that1 ,bob says1 is quite ,eve-angelic40 ,many a royal garment has been carried off from the ,temple to the theatres4 ,the former place is most crowded about eleven in the morning4 ,all the marchands d'habits in ,paris assemble there at that hour1 laden with the purchases which they have made during the early part of the day2 and these purchases are immediately resold to the stationary dealers in the rotunda1 who divide the same according to their respective merits and expected customers4 ,one of the best-dressed men in ,france under the ,empire was ,general ,dorsenne4 8,look at ,dorsenne10 ,napoleon would say1 8on the day of battle2 he looks like the true type of a ,french general1 while ,murat has the air of a rider from ,franconi's40 ,dorsenne was about to set out for the campaign in ,prussia4 ,he was the possessor of a tasteful but brilliant uniform1 which he was desirous of exhibiting as closely as possible to the enemy1 and which he intended to wear at the balls at ,berlin4 ,it was duly packed up2 and ,dorsenne1 who was to set out on the morrow1 took it into his head to pay a visit in the evening to the ,thtre de la ,gat1 where they play such melancholy melodramas1 in order to see the somewhat celebrated actor ,tautain in one of his military characters4 ,the first act passed off well enough2 but in the second ,tautain appeared in the full uniform of a general4 ,dorsenne was astonished2 he put up his glass1 recognized his property on ,tautain's back1 and1 exploding with wrath1 he cried to his aide-de-camp3-- 8,arrest that rascal2 take him to the corps-de-garde2 ,i will be there as soon as you2 he has stolen my coat60 ,the piece was interrupted3 four soldiers escorted ,tautain to the neighbouring 8poste10 and there stood the ,general as scarlet as ,major ,bagstock4 8,where did you steal that coat1 you wretched mountebank80 exclaimed ,dorsenne4 8,i am neither thief nor mountebank10 said ,tautain1 who was pale with rage and fright2 8,i bought it not two hours ago at the ,temple40 ,when the affair was examined into1 ,dorsenne's valet turned out to be the thief4 ,the latter was punished as he merited2 and the ,general1 leaving his coat1 lace1 and epaulettes to the comedian1 went through the campaign in an old uniform and with his accustomed success4 ,in this quarter of the ,temple takes place the last transformation of the black dress coat1 the silk waistcoat1 and the polished leather boots4 ,the ,french feuilletoniste who is known by the name of ,m4 ,d',anglemont1 has devoted much of his acute observation to the manners of the ,temple ,exchange4 ,it is from him we learn that when a coat has passed through all its degrees of descent1--when it has been transferred from maker to owner1 from the latter to his valet1 from the valet to the porter1 and from that functionary to the ,norman who plies in ,paris the vocation which is monopolized in ,london by sons of ancient ,israel1--it soon after arrives at the ,temple1 the necropolis of ,parisian costumes4 ,it is there turned1 mended1 and re-made2 and it has yet a phase to go through before it is ultimately sold to those ,paris manufacturers who make 8l'engrais de laine10 guano for worn-out clothes4 ,this last phase it owes to the ingenuity of the brothers ,meurt-de-,soif4 ,this name1 ,meurt-de-,soif1 as we are told by ,m4 ,d',anglemont1 is not a name invented by the ,paris wits4 ,the family of ,meurt-de-,soif 7,die of ,thirst7 has its residence in the sixth arrondissement4 ,its especial occupation is the purchase of old garments in huge quantities1 which are made temporarily to wear a new aspect1 and then sold to the suburban beaux who sun themselves beyond the ,barriers4 ,the traffic carried on by this family takes place at night1 by torch-light1 and by ,dutch auction4 ,there you may see put up a coat from the studio of ,humann1 a genuine waistcoat from the hand of ,blanc1 and trousers whose incomparable cut declares them to have proceeded from the genius and shears of ,morbach2 in a word1 the costume complete of a 8fashionable0 of the first water1--for how much8 ,three francs6--just half-a-crown6--the pleasantry of the vendor included1 without extra charge4 ,this pleasantry is something like that of our 8,cheap ,jacks10 whose invention is so facile1 and whose power of lying exceeds that of ,osten-,sacken and the ,czar together4 8,look1 gentlemen10 exclaims one of the illustrious house in question2 8this coat originally belonged to a ,russian prince1 and was the means of rendering him irresistible in the eyes of a danseuse of the ,grande ,chaumire4 ,it subsequently became the admiration of all the inhabitants of the ,closerie du ,lilas1 who saw its effect on the back of a celebrated corn-cutter4 ,by means of this coat the valet of a #8milord' carried off a figurante from the little ,thtre des ,dlassemens1 who mistook him for his master4 ,the coat has come to us immediately from this last possessor1 the extravagance of whose ,dulcinea compelled him to part from it4 ,well1 gentlemen1 notwithstanding all these glorious souvenirs1 in spite of all the conquests due to it1 ,i give it to you1 gentlemen1 at three francs6 ,three francs6 there is an opportunity for those accustomed to profit by it60 ,the coat put up at three francs has a gradually diminishing value put upon it1 until it is at last purchased at thirty sous4 ,morbach's trousers go for a franc2 and ,blanc's waistcoat for the small price of fifty centimes--fivepence6 ,the garments thus purchased are often only retained for a single ,sunday1 some fte day1 on which the poor cavalier desires to look splendid1 though it be with a second-hand splendour1 in the eyes of his 8belle40 ,if the costume holds together through the severe ordeal of a night's dancing1 it is often resold to the ,temple merchants1 who repair the damage1 and again fit it to the back of some ephemeral dandy of the suburbs who wishes but to shine for 8a little day40 8,la ,mre ,moskow0 drives her own trade by the side of the ,meurt-de-,soifs4 ,she is an ex-vivandire of the ,grand ,army1 who lets out body-linen to poor gentlemen suffering from scarcity4 ,a shirt may be hired of her for a week for the modest price of twopence1 the wearer being required merely to leave his old one1 by way of a security deposit4 ,nothing can be more delicate than1 not the deposit1 but the manner in which the request is made2 and a shirt of ,la ,mre ,moskow might have been worn1 without scruple1 at ,lord ,o',grady's by the ,reverend ,ozias ,polyglot1 or the better-endowed ,reverend ,obadiah ,pringle4 ,but ,i shall have more to say hereafter touching ,gallic influences incidentally2 ,i will therefore turn from persons and places to things1 and1 hat in hand1 discourse of what ,i hold4 ,,hats4 8,your bonnet to its right use40--,,shakspeare4 ,newton observed this ,shakspearian injunction by always taking off his hat when he pronounced the name of ,god4 ,this was a right use4 ,the grandmother of ,guy ,faux devoted one to a strange use when she bequeathed her best velvet hat to a nephew4 ,i have often wondered if he went to church in it6 ,the grandees of ,spain treat their sacred sovereign with less respect than ,newton showed for a sacred name4 ,it is the privilege of the grandees of ,spain that they may stand with their hats on in the presence of their sovereign4 ,there is but one noble in ,england so privileged1--the head1 so to speak1 of the ,de ,courcys1 ,earls of ,kinsale4 ,it is just six centuries and a half since ,philip of ,france sent over a knight to summon ,king ,john to answer for the murder of ,prince ,arthur1 or abide by trial by combat4 ,john had no relish to do either1 but he looked round for a substitute willing to meet one of the alternatives4 ,there was a gallant soldier in prison of the name of ,de ,courcy4 ,he had conquered ,ulster for his master1 ,lackland1 and had been rewarded with captivity because he had not done more4 ,his fetters were struck off1 and he was asked if he were willing to be champion for ,john in this bloody arbitrement4 8,no1 not for him60 cried ,de ,courcy1 8but for my country1 ay60 ,the adversaries met1 yet did not come to an encounter2 for the ,french knight1 not liking the look of his gigantic foe1 declined the combat1 and so lost his honour4 ,john and ,philip1 who were together present1 directed ,de ,courcy to give them a taste of his quality4 ,whereupon the champion placed his helmet upon a post1 and cleaving through the first into the second1 his sword stuck so fast in the wood that none but himself could draw it out4 8,never unveil thy bonnet1 man1 again1 before king or subject10 was the cheap privilege accorded him by the economical ,john2 8but tell us why thou lookedst so fiercely round ere thou didst deal thy dainty stroke40 8,because1 had ,i failed1 ,i intended to slay all who had dared to mock me40 8,by the mass10 said ,john1 8thou art a pleasant companion1 and therewith ,heaven keep thee in good beavers60 ,it was long the custom for the ,de ,courcys to wear their hat1 but for a moment1 in presence of their respective kings1 just for the purpose of asserting their privilege1 and then to doff it1 like other men4 ,the head of the family1 at one of ,george the ,third's ,drawing-rooms1 thinking this not sufficient assertion of his right1 continued wearing his court head-piece throughout the time he was in the 8presence40 ,the good old ,king at length extinguished this poor bit of pride1 by bluntly remarking1 8,the gentleman has a right to be covered before me2 but even ,king ,john could give him no right to be covered before ladies40 ,the rebuke was most effectual2 and ,de ,courcy saw1 to his horror1 that the entire court1 ladies1 princesses1 courtiers1 and attendants1 were wreathing a broad girdle of grins 8all round his hat40 ,it is said that when ,fox the ,quaker had an interview with ,charles the ,second1 the ,king observing that his 8friend0 kept on his beaver1 immediately took off his own4 8,put on thy hat1 friend ,charles10 said the plain gentleman4 8,not so1 friend ,george10 replied the ,king2 8it is usual for only one man to be covered here40 ,it was a neat retort1 and may serve as a pendant to the remark of the peasant boy1 whom ,henri ,,iv4 had taken up behind him1 and who pretended that he would take the lad where he might see the monarch4 8,how shall ,i know the ,king when he is among so many nobles80 said the rustic1 as he rode en croupe behind the sovereign1 of whose identity he was ignorant4 8,you will know him10 said ,henri1 8by his being the only person who will keep his hat on40 ,at length the two arrived where the ,king's officers awaited him1 and they all uncovered as he trotted up to them4 8,now1 good lad10 said he1 8which is the ,king80 8,well10 exclaimed the boy1 8it must be either you or ,i1 for we have both got our hats on60--,an old-world story1 ,i fear1 but not mal trovato4 ,hats have been of divers service in battle4 ,the plumed hat of ,henri ,,iv4 was the rallying point of his followers4 ,in later times1 the head-covering was put to good purpose by a 'cute ,highlander4 ,in the ,peninsular war1 one of the #icrd and a ,french infantry-man came upon one another in a wood4 ,as their pieces were unloaded1 they both rushed to the cover of a tree1 in order to put their muskets in deadly order2 but this done1 neither was inclined to look out1 lest the other should be beforehand with him1 and let fly4 ,at length the ,highlander quietly put his feathered hat on the end of his piece1 and held it a little beyond the tree1 as though a head was in it1 looking out4 ,at the same moment the impatient ,frenchman reconnoitered1 saw his supposed advantage1 and1 from his rifle1 sent a ball through his adversary's bonnet2 thereupon the bonny ,scot calmly advanced with his loaded piece1 and took his enemy prisoner without difficulty4 ,i do not know if it ever occurred to any one that hats had something to do with the dissolution of the ,long ,parliament2 but such is the fact4 ,as soon as ,cromwell had declared that assembly non-existent1 he flung on his hat1 and paced up and down the ,parliament ,chamber4 ,the members1 however1 were piqued by such truly cavalier swagger1 and would not budge an inch4 ,cromwell called in ,major ,harrison and the guard4 ,the ,major saw how matters stood1 and he felt at once that he could get the ex-deputies out much sooner by courtesy than carbines4 ,accordingly he approached the ,speaker1 and taking off his own hat with much ceremony1 he bowed low1 kissed the fallen official's hand1 detaining it at the same time with such gentle violence that the deposed dignitary was constrained to follow whither the very polite but unwelcome republican chose to conduct him4 ,the ,major led him out of the ,hall1 we are told1 8as a gentleman does a lady1 the whole ,parliament following40 ,thus a hat in hand helped to do what a hat on head failed to accomplish2 and the ,long ,parliament resisting rudeness1 yielded to gallantry1 and was demolished for ever4 ,the close of the last national ,parliament held in ,scotland has something in connection with the hat4 ,on the #bbnd ,april1 #agjg1 that illustrious but sometimes turbulent assembly adjourned never to meet again4 ,there must have been some aching hearts under the old-fashioned dresses of many of the members2 but there was no sorrow to be read on the brow of ,seafield the ,chancellor4 ,he put on his hat as he pronounced1 with brutal levity1 the annihilation of the parliamentary body4 ,had he done it to hide confusion or to mark contempt1 there might have been some excuse for him1 but it was a mere formality2 and he unfeelingly added thereto1 words which were the cruel knell of the dying victim4 8,there10 said he1 8there is the end of an auld sang60 ,it was a song that1 in its day1 had been sung to some tune1 despite some harshness and occasional discord2 but1 as the ,chancellor remarked when he put on his hat1 there was an end of it4 ,when ,sir ,edward ,coke1 in #afde1 was trying ,mrs4 ,turner1 the physician's widow1 as an accessory before the fact in the murder of ,sir ,thomas ,overbury 7the poor woman had a penchant for poisoning people1--but we have all our little foibles71 he observed that she wore a hat1 and he bade her take it off4 8,a woman10 said he1 8may be covered in a church1 but not when arraigned in a court of justice40 ,the lady tartly commented on the singularity that she might wear her hat in presence of ,god1 and not in that of man4 8,for the reason10 said the judge1 8that man with weak intellects cannot discover the secrets which are known to ,god2 and therefore1 in investigating truth1 where human life is in peril1 and one is charged with taking life from another1 the court should see all obstacles removed4 ,besides10 he added1 8the countenance is often an index to the mind1 and accordingly it is fitting that the hat be removed1 and therewith the shadow which it casts upon your face40 ,the hat was taken off2 but the lady1 although a murderess1 was modest1 and she covered her hair with a kerchief4 ,had good ,mrs4 ,turner been like the ladies and gentlemen of ,natal1 she might have puzzled the chief justice4 ,the ,natal 8fashionables0 wear hats of from half a foot to a foot in height1 made of the fat of oxen4 ,they first gradually anoint the head with a purer grease2 and this1 mixing with the hair1 fastens these bonnets on during the lives of the wearers6 ,or the fashion of the ,myantses would have done4 ,these people carry on their heads a slight board1 a foot long1 and half of that broad2 with this they cover their hair1 and seal it with wax4 ,they cannot lie down or lean without keeping the neck straight2 and the country being very woody1 it is not uncommon to find them with their head-dress entangled in the trees4 ,whenever they require to comb their hair1 once or twice a year1 they have to pass a preliminary hour in melting the wax1 before they can get their hats off4 ,better keep them on than take them off to such poor purpose1 as was once observed in the case of one of the celebrities of the ,place ,royale1 ,beautru1 whose name was a mine of tinsel to the little punsters of ,paris1 in the reign of ,louis ,,xiii4 ,beautru was bold1 haughty1 and an inveterate gambler4 ,he was a libertine both as to morals and religion1 and the slanderer par excellence of his age4 ,richelieu had a strong liking for him1--proof enough that he was not worth the affection of an honest man4 ,his repartees were more spiced with wickedness than wit4 ,one day1 on passing in front of a crucifix in the public streets1 he1 with an air of humble reverence1 raised his hat4 8,ah60 exclaimed one who saw the unwonted action1 8that is what ,i call setting a good example40 8,very good60 cried the scoffer1 pushing his hat firm upon his brows1 8but you will be pleased to observe that though we bow1 we are not on speaking terms40 ,the ,place ,royale was in the olden times the sanctum sanctorum both of fashion and wit2 and never had either a more celebrated high-priest than ,voiture4 ,this famous ,euphuist was only the son of the keeper of a wine-shop1 but he used to say that he had been born again in the society of ,madame and ,mademoiselle de ,rambouillet4 ,he was a renowned humourist1 was given to love-making and to card-playing1 but rather to the latter than the former4 ,he was remarkable for the fashion of his hats1 which he wore in the very extreme of the mode1 like ,don ,basilio in the #8,barber of ,seville2' and he never uncovered even to the greatest noble1 until the latter had first lowered his bonnet to him in testimony of salute to the wit of the son of the wine-dealer4 ,he once brought two bears from the street into the boudoir of ,mademoiselle ,rambouillet2 and the lords and ladies both laughed and screamed at seeing ,voiture cover their heads with the hats of two of the company1 and give the animals fine ,greek names1 as was the custom of the ,euphuists of the day4 ,it was he who uttered the neat expression applied to ,bossuet1 when the latter1 at the premature age of fourteen1 delivered a sermon before the gay sinners of the ,htel de ,rambouillet1 at midnight4 ,voiture sat with his hat on to listen to the discourse1 but when it was concluded1 he uncovered1 and making a low bow to the young orator1--8,sir10 said he1 8,i never heard a man preach at once so early and so late60 and the gallants putting on their plumed hats1 declared with round oaths that ,voiture's wit had capped young ,bossuet's sermon6 ,it was in truth a strange locality1 that same old ,place ,royale4 ,the ,arnault family1 with their grave manners and fashions1 were perhaps the worthiest of the residents of any age2 but it is not among them that we must look for striking anecdotes respecting passing modes4 ,these are more plentifully furnished by the household chronicles of the more worldly people4 ,the ,marchioness de ,sabl and the ,countess de ,maure were among these latter4 ,they were next-door neighbours1 and they daily sent each other little billets1 remarkable for the aristocratic contempt which they showed for orthography2 and little patterns of head-dresses1 quite as remarkable for their grace and 8killingness40 ,it happened one day that the ,countess was sick1 and thereupon the ,marchioness resolved to pay her a visit of condolence1 in state4 ,she was poor and proud1 and her pride and poverty were displayed in the circumstance of ceremony1 so to speak1 with which she waited on her much-afflicted friend4 ,she could not1 like an honest woman1 put on her bonnet and carry a posset under the folds of her farthingale to the noble patient4 ,that would have been derogatory to both noble houses4 ,accordingly1 she descended her grand and not over-clean staircase1 beneath a canopy which consisted of nothing more than the top and vallance of her cook's bedstead1 upheld on crossed staves by two grooms1 who bore their burden with uncovered heads1 as though royalty were walking beneath the striped-linen canopy of the old cook's couch4 ,but it was a canopy1 and so there was dignity therein1 though it was rather of a dusty sort4 ,while people were laughing at this illustration of pride in ,paris1 ,london was being sadly scandalized at a royal illustration of obstinacy4 ,when ,william ,,iii4 went to church1 it was impossible to induce him to take off his hat4 ,he might indeed doff it during the liturgy1 but the preacher was no sooner in the pulpit than on went the ponderous beaver1 and up fired the indignation of the beholders4 ,william cared not a jot for their indignation4 ,the ,dutch wore their hats during ,divine worship1 and he had not ceased to be a ,hollander simply for having become a ,king of ,england4 ,besides1 that ancient and scriptural people the ,jews sat in their synagogues with their heads covered1 and was not he their most religious and gracious king8--and did it not become him to follow the practices of a ,biblical race1 when the doing so tended to the increase of his comfort1 and jumped with the inclination of his caprices8 ,and so the broad hat was worn1 and censure disregarded4 ,in the middle of the last century1 when actors at their benefits expected great houses1 the pit was not only incorporated with the boxes1 but a graduated building was erected on the stage for the superflux of audience4 ,the consequences were sometimes ridiculous enough2 exempli grati3-- ,when ,holland1 the ,chiswick baker1 played ,hamlet1 at his first benefit at ,drury ,lane 7#agfb71 the little tillage poured out all its inhabitants to do him both honour and profit2 and ,i do not know if the predecessor of the present estimable rector1 the ,rev4 ,mr4 ,bowerbank1 was not at the head of them4 ,however this may be1 there was assuredly amongst them a young ,chiswick maiden1 who contrived to seat herself at a corner of the lowest seat of the amphitheatre1 with her feet resting on the stage4 ,when the ,ghost appeared1 ,hamlet's hat fell off2 and this so excited the commiseration of the damsel from ,chiswick that she gently stepped forward1 picked up the hat1 and with her own hands placed it upon ,holland's head1 with the broad corner foremost1 as it might have been worn had ,hamlet been exceedingly drunk4 ,holland gravely finished the scene1 but his appearance was too much for the gravity of the house2 and although the audience1 becomingly but with difficulty1 restrained their risibility till the young prince with the queer hat and his respected sire's ghost had diversely departed1 they burst out into so uproarious a laugh then1 that the whole house rang again2 and ,holland too when he was led to a glass1 and contemplated his own counterfeit and highly ridiculous presentment4 ,such was a hat on the ,english stage2 here is one on that of ,america4 ,mr4 ,charles ,kean1 when once playing ,richard1 at ,new ,orleans1 observed1 as he was seated on the throne1 and the curtain was rising1 that his noble peers wore their hats or caps in his presence4 ,with his truncheon to his lips he contrived a stage whisper1 which said1 8,take off your hats2 you are in the presence of the king40 8,and what of that80 roared high-reaching ,buckingham1 looking round at the audience1 and smacking his own cap tighter on his circumspect head2 8what of that8 ,i guess we know nothing of kings in this country40 ,the ,new ,orleaners were in raptures1 and the king sat corrected4 ,in old days there was not only a fashion in the hat1 but also in the cock of it4 ,the famous battle of ,ramilies introduced the ,ramilies cock of the hat4 ,in ,no4 #ebf of the #8,spectator1' 8,john ,sly1 a haberdasher of hats1 and tobacconist10 is directed to take down the names of such country gentlemen as have left the hunting for the military cock1 before the approach of peace4 ,in a subsequent number is told how the same ,john ,sly is preparing hats for the several kinds of heads that make figures in the realm of ,great ,britain1 with cocks significant of their powers and faculties4 ,his hats for men of the faculties of law and physic do but just turn up to give a little life to their sagacity4 ,his military hats glare full in the face2 and he has prepared a familiar easy cock for all good companions between the above-mentioned extremes4 ,admiring mothers would sooner have followed their sons to the grave than see them walk about with hats uncocked1--whether the form took that of a spout or the point of a mince-pie4 ,the ,german ,kevenhller came on about the accession of ,george ,,iii4 ,they were as tasteless as those ,french chapeaux cornes1 of whom ,mr4 ,bob ,fudge says that he 8would back ,mrs4 ,draper ,to cut better weather-boards out of brown paper40 ,at this time1 we are told1 there was the military cock and the mercantile cock2 and while the beaux of ,st4 ,james's wore their hats under their arms1 the beaux of ,moorfields ,mall wore them diagonally over their left or right eye4 ,some wore their hats with the corners which should come over their foreheads1 in a direct line1 pointed into the air4 ,these were the ,gawkies4 ,others did not above half cover their heads1 which was indeed owing to the shallowness of their crowns4 ,a hat with gold binding bespoke a man given to the pleasures of the turf4 ,the tiny ,nivernois hat came into fashion early in the reign of the third ,george2 and it is said that gold-laced cocked hats used to be worn in the year '#gh1 because they had a military look with them1 and would therefore protect the wearer against the press-gangs that were then more than usually active4 ,when round hats came in1 at first merely for morning or undress wear1 but finally became a fait accompli1 like that other little matter1 the ,french ,revolution1 all the young wearers of them 7and there were1 at first1 no others7 were denounced as 8blackguards0 and 8highwaymen40 ,the youthful votaries of fashion retorted by nicknaming the three-cornered hats1 as 8,egham1 ,staines1 and ,windsor10 in allusion to the three-fingered road-post pointing in that tripartite direction4 ,the flat1 folding1 crescent-shaped beaver1 called a cocked or an opera hat1 was still to be seen as late as #ahah2 and a party of gentlemen returning on foot from ,almack's on a summer's morning1 with pantaloons tight as the ,venetian standard-bearer's1 and hats cocked according to the mode1 presented a rather martial look4 ,since that time1 the round hat has gained headway2 even coachmen only wear the old cocked covering on state occasions2 and the ugliest article that ever could be devised for the purpose seems to be planted upon our unwilling brows for ever4 ,in ,new1 as formerly in ,old1 ,england1 ,quakers objected to take off their hats4 ,a judge in the former locality once remarked thereon1 that if he thought there was any religion in a hat1 he would have the largest he could purchase for money4 ,poor ,essex1 at his mock trial before his enemies in ,elizabeth's palace1 was compelled to stand uncovered4 ,he was so embarrassed with his hat and the papers in it1 that he forgot something of what he had to say2 and perhaps too much care for his hat helped him to lose his head4 ,finally1 do my readers know why 8beaver0 was the originally favourite material for a hat8 ,dr4 ,marius was told by a ,jew physician of ,ulm1 that it was because by wearing a cap of beaver's fur1 anointing the head once a month with oil of castor1 and taking two or three ounces of it in a year1 a man's memory may be so strengthened that he will remember everything he reads4 ,i would eschew ,french velvet1 and would stick to beaver1 if ,i thought that4 ,and now as hats were put upon heads1 the next fashion that will naturally come under our notice is the fashion of ,wigs and their ,wearers4 ,previous to turning to which1 ,i may mention1 by way of being useful1 that 8beaver0 is not beaver in our days2 and that perhaps is why we are all so forgetful of our duties4 ,english beaver is a mixture of lamb's wool and rabbit's fur4 ,silk1 satin1 and velvet hats are made of plush1 woven for the most part in the north of ,england4 ,paris hats are made in ,london from ,french plush1 of which we import annually about #aej1jjj lbs4 ,we export few hats except to our own colonies4 ,they are chiefly made1 like our wigs1 for native wear4 ,,wigs ,,and ,,their ,,wearers4 8,wigs were to protect obstinate old heads from the rays of truth40--,,anonymous ,,author4 ,when it is said that ,hadrian was the first ,roman ,emperor who wore a wig1 nothing more is meant than that he was the first who avowedly wore one4 ,they were common enough before his time4 ,caligula and ,messalina put them on1 for purposes of disguise1 when they were abroad at night2 and ,otho condescended to conceal his baldness with what he fain hoped his subjects would accept as a natural head of hair belonging to one who bore the name of ,csar4 ,as for the origin of wigs1 the honour of the invention is attributed to the luxurious ,iapygians1 in ,southern ,italy4 ,the ,louvain theologians1 who published a ,french version of the ,bible1 affected however to discover the first mention of perukes in a passage in the fourth chapter of ,isaiah4 ,the ,vulgate has these words3--8,decalvabit ,dominus verticem filiarum ,sion1 et ,dominus crinem earum nudabit40 ,this the ,louvain gentlemen translated into ,french as follows3--8,le ,seigneur dchevelera les ttes des filles de ,sion2 et le ,seigneur dcouvrira leurs perruques40 ,the which1 done into ,english1 implies that 8,the ,lord will pluck the hair from the heads of the daughters of ,sion1 and will expose their periwigs40 ,my fair friend1 you would perhaps fling your own in my face were ,i to presume to tell you what the true reading is4 ,in the above free-and-easy translation1 the theologians in question followed no less an authority than ,st4 ,paulinus of ,nola1 and thus had respectable warrant for their singular mistake4 ,allusions to wigs are frequently made both by the historians and poets of ancient times4 ,we know that they were worn by fashionable gentlemen in ,palmyra and ,baalbec1 and that the ,lycians took to them out of necessity4 ,when their conqueror1 ,mausoleus1 had ruthlessly ordered all their heads to be shaven1 the poor ,lycians felt themselves so supremely ridiculous1 that they induced the king's general ,condalus1 by means of an irresistible bribe1 to permit them to import wigs from ,greece2 and the symbol of their degradation became the very pink of ,lycian fashion4 ,hannibal was a stout soldier1 but on the article of perukes he was as finical as ,jessamy in #8,lionel and ,clarissa1' and as particular as ,dr4 ,hoadley's ,ranger1--as nice about their fashion as the former1 and as philosophical as the latter on their look4 ,hannibal wore them sometimes to improve1 sometimes to disguise1 his person2 and if he wore one long enough to spoil its beauty1 he was as glad as the airy gentleman in #8,the ,suspicious ,husband1' to fling it aside when it wore a battered aspect4 ,ovid and ,martial celebrate the gold-coloured wigs of ,germany4 ,the latter writer is very severe on the dandies and coquettes of his day1 who thought to win attraction under a wig4 ,propertius1 who could describe so tenderly and appreciate so well what was lovely in girlhood1 whips his butterflies into dragons at the bare idea of a nymph in a toupet4 ,venus ,anadyomene herself would have had no charms for that gentle sigher of sweet and enervating sounds1 had she wooed him in borrowed hair4 ,if he was not particular touching morals1 he was very strict concerning curls4 ,if the classical poets winged their satirical shafts against wigs1 these were as little spared by the mimic thunderbolts of the ,fathers1 ,councils1 and ,canons of the early ,church4 ,even poets and ,christian elders could no more digest human hair than can the crocodile1--of whom1 dead1 it is said1 you may know how many individuals he devoured living by the number of hair-balls in the stomach1 which can neither digest nor eject them4 ,the indignation of ,tertullian respecting these said wigs is something perfectly terrific4 ,not less is that of ,st4 ,gregory of ,nazianzus1 who especially vouches for the virtue of his simple sister ,gorgonia1 for the reason that she neither cared to curl her own hair1 nor to repair its lack of beauty by the aid of a wig4 ,the thunder of ,st4 ,jerome against these adornments was quite as loud as that of any of the ,fathers4 ,they were preached against as unbecoming to ,christianity4 ,council after ,council1 from the first at ,constantinople to the last ,provincial ,council at ,tours1 denounced wigs even when worn in joke4 8,there is no joke in the matter60 exclaimed the exceedingly irate ,st4 ,bernard2 8the woman who wears a wig commits a mortal sin60 ,st4 ,john ,chrysostom cites ,st4 ,paul against the fashion1 arguing that they who prayed or preached in wigs could not be said to worship or to teach the ,word of ,god 8with head uncovered40 8,look60 says ,cyprian to the wearers of false hair2 8look at the ,pagans6 they pray in veils4 ,what better are you than ,pagans if you come to prayers in perukes80 ,many local ,synods would authorize no fashion of wearing the hair but straight and short4 ,this form was especially enjoined on the clergy generally4 ,st4 ,ambrose as strictly enjoined the fashion upon the ladies of his diocese3 8,do not talk to me of curls10 said this hard-working prelate2 8they are the lenocinia form1 non prcepta virtutis40 ,the ladies smiled4 ,it was to some such obdurate and beautiful rebels that ,cyprian once gravely preached1 saying3 8,give heed to me1 ,o ye women6 ,adultery is a grievous sin2 but she who wears false hair is guilty of a greater40 ,it must have been a comfortable state of society when two angry ladies could exclaim to each other1 8,you may say of me what you please2 you may charge me with breaking the seventh commandment2 but1 thank ,heaven and ,cyprian1 you cannot accuse me of wearing a wig60 ,no pains were spared to deter women from this enormity4 ,st4 ,jerome holds up the fate of ,prtexta as a warning to all ladies addicted to the fashion of the world4 ,prtexta was a very respectable lady1 married to a somewhat paganish husband1 ,hymetius4 ,their niece1 ,eustochia1 resided with them4 ,at the instigation of the husband1 ,prtexta took the shy ,eustochia in hand1 attired her in a splendid dress1 and covered her fair neck with ringlets4 ,having enjoyed the sight of the modest maiden so attired1 ,prtexta went to bed4 ,to that bedside immediately descended an angel1 with wrath upon his brow1 and billows of angry sounds rolling from his lips4 8,thou hast10 said the spirit1 8obeyed thy husband rather than the ,lord1 and hast dared to deck the hair of a virgin1 and made her look like a daughter of earth4 ,for this do ,i wither up thy hands1 and bid them recognize the enormity of thy crime in the amount of thy anguish and bodily suffering4 ,five months more shalt thou live1 and then ,hell shall be thy portion2 and if thou art bold enough to touch the head of ,eustochia again1 thy husband and thy children shall die even before thee40 ,st4 ,jerome pledges himself for the truth of this story1 which is exceedingly perplexing and utterly unintelligible4 ,the ladies were more difficult of management than the clergy4 ,the former were not to be terrified by the assurance1 that breaking an ordinance of men was a worse crime than breaking one of the commandments of ,god4 ,the hair of the clergy was kept straight1 by decree of forfeiture of revenues or benefice against incumbents who approached the altars with curls even of their natural hair4 ,pomades and scented waters were denounced as damnable inventions2 but anathema was uttered against the priest guilty of wearing one single hair combed up above its fellows4 ,the well-curled ,bishop of ,oxford would have been in the olden time ipso facto1 because of being so curled1 excommunicated1--according to the decree of the ,council of ,lateran 7,gregory ,,ii471 which says3--8,cuicumque ex clericis comam relaxaverit1 anathema sit60 8,all personal disguise10 says ,tertullian1 8is adultery before ,god4 ,all perukes1 paint1 and powder are such disguises1 and inventions of the devil20 ergo1 etc4 ,this zealous individual appeals to personal as often as to religious feeling4 8,if you will not fling away your false hair10 says he1 8as hateful to ,heaven1 cannot ,i make it hateful to yourselves1 by reminding you that the false hair you wear may have come not only from a criminal but from a very dirty head1 perhaps from the head of one already damned80 ,this was a very hard hit indeed2 but it was not nearly so clever a stroke at wigs as that dealt by ,clemens of ,alexandria4 ,the latter informed the astounded wig-wearers that1 when they knelt at church to receive the blessing1 they must be good enough to recollect that the benediction remained on the wig1 and did not pass through to the wearer6 ,this was a stumbling-block to the people2 many of whom however retained the peruke1 and took their chance as to the percolating through it of the benediction4 ,on similarly obstinate people1 ,tertullian railed with a hasty charge of ill-prepared logic4 8,you were not born with wigs10 said he2 8,god did not give them to you4 ,god not giving them1 you must necessarily have received them from the devil40 ,it was manifest that so rickety a syllogism was incapable of shaking the lightest scratch from a reasoning ,christian's skull4 ,indeed the logic of ,tertullian1 when levied against wigs1 is exceedingly faulty4 ,men of the world he points out as being given to over-scrupulous cleanliness4 ,your saint is dirty from an impulse of duty2 were he otherwise1 he might be too seductive to the weaker sex4 ,this reminds me of the monk of ,prague who was blind1 but he had so fine a nose that he was able to distinguish between a saint and a sinner by the smell6 ,not only were the ,scriptures pressed into service against those who wore false hair or dyed their own1 but zealous ,christian priests quoted even heathen writers to shame men out of the custom4 ,it is a remarkable thing how well acquainted these well-meaning1 but somewhat over-straining1 personages were with the erotic poets of heathendom4 ,before the period of the ,conquest1 ecclesiastics were hardly distinguishable from the laity except by the tonsure2 and of this they seem to have been partly ashamed1 for they concealed it1 to the best of their ability1 by brushing the long hair around it1 so as to cover the distinctive mark4 ,it was only the great dignitaries who wore beards3 had a poor priest ventured to carry one on his face1 he would have had the one pulled and the other slapped by his ecclesiastical superiors4 ,the inferior clergy cared nothing about the matter till beards were interdicted1 as far as they were concerned2 and when the ,council of ,limoges1 in #ajca1 decreed that the wearing of the beard was to be entirely optional1 all concerned lost all concern in the question4 ,desire had only fastened itself upon what was forbidden4 ,as for the more dignified clergy of the period1 they were the most splendid dressers of the day2 and the greatest 8dandies0 were those who officiated at the altar4 ,no censure directed against their extravagance in this respect had any effect upon them4 ,it was only when the reproof seemingly came from ,heaven that they cared for it2 as in the case of the young soldier in the army of ,stephen1 who was intensely vain of the locks which fell from his crown to his knees1 and which he suddenly cut off close to the roots1 in consequence of dreaming that the devil was strangling him with his own luxuriant ringlets4 ,the dream did not cure other fops4 ,in the days of ,king ,john1 our excellent fathers actually curled their hair with crisping irons1 and bound their locks with fillets1 like girls4 ,they went bareheaded lest the beauty of their curls should be disturbed by a cap2 and they were not at all the sort of men that we should suspect of having wrung ,magna ,charta from the ,king2--that ,magna ,charta the original copy of which once fell into the hands of a tailor1 who was cutting it up into other measures for men1 when it was rescued1 not without difficulty1 and consigned to its present safe custody in the ,british ,museum4 ,english ladies 7despite the fact that ,english lords cherished wigs even in the days of ,stephen7 do not appear to have adopted the fashion of wearing wigs until about the year #aeej4 ,junius1 in his #8,commentarium de ,com1' says that false hair came into use here with the ladies about that time1 and that such use had never before been adopted by ,english matrons4 ,some three hundred years before this1 the ,benedictine monks at ,canterbury1 who were canons of the cathedral1 very pathetically represented to ,pope ,innocent ,,iv4 that they were subject to catch very bad colds from serving in the wide and chilly cathedral bareheaded4 ,the ,pontiff gave them solemn permission to guard against cathedral rheum1 bronchitis1 and phthisis1 by covering their heads with the hood common to their order2 bidding them have especial care however to fling back the hood at the reading of the ,gospel1 and at the elevation of the host4 ,zealous churchmen have been very indignant at the attempts made to prove that the permission of ,innocent ,,iv4 might be construed as a concession to priests1 allowing them to wear wigs if they were so minded4 ,the question was settled at the ,great ,council of ,england1 held in ,london in #abfh4 ,that ,council refused to sanction the wearing by clerics of 8quas vulgo coifas vocant10 except when they were travelling4 ,if a coif even was profane1 a wig to this ,council would have taken the guise of the unpardonable sin4 ,it is1 however1 well known that although ,rome forbade a priest to officiate with covered head1 permission to do so was purchaseable4 ,in fact1 the rule of ,rome was not founded1 as it was asserted to be1 on ,scripture4 ,permission was readily granted to the ,romish priests in ,china to officiate with covered heads1 as being more agreeable to the native idea there of what was seemly4 ,native sentiment nearer home was much less regarded4 ,thus1 when the ,bulgarians complained to ,pope ,nicholas1 that their priests would not permit them to wear1 during church-time1 those head-wrappers1 or turbans1 which it was their habit never to throw off1 the ,pontiff returned an answer which almost took the brief and popular form of 8,serve you right60 and the ,bulgarians1 on the other hand1 took nothing by their motion4 ,our ,anselm of ,canterbury was as little conceding to the young and long-haired nobles of his day as was ,pope ,nicholas to the ,bulgarians4 ,eadmer1 a monk of ,canterbury1 relates that on one occasion 7,ash ,wednesday7 the ,primate soundly rebuked the hirsute aristocracy1 put them in penance1 and refused them absolution1 until they had submitted to be close shorn4 ,the prelate in question would allow none to enter his cathedral who wore either long or false hair4 ,against both the objection remained for a lengthened period insuperable4 ,when ,henry ,i4 of ,england was in ,france1 ,sirron1 ,bishop of ,sez1 told him that ,heaven was disgusted at the aspect of ,christians in long hair1 or who wore on manly heads locks that perhaps originally came from female brows4 ,they were1 he said1 sons of ,belial for so offending3--8,pervicaces filii ,belial1 capita sua cornis mulierum ornata40 ,the ,king looked grave3 the prelate insinuatingly invited the father of his people1 who wore long if not false hair1 to set a worthy example4 8,we'll think of it10 said the sovereign4 8,no time like the present10 replied the prelate1 who produced a pair of scissors from his episcopal sleeve1 and advanced towards ,henry1 prepared to sweep off those honours which the monarch would fain have preserved4 ,but what was the sceptre of the prince to the forceps of the priest8 ,the former meekly sat down at the entrance of his tent1 while ,bishop ,sirron clipped him with the skilful alacrity of ,figaro4 ,noble after noble submitted to the same operation2 and1 while these were being docked by the more dignified clergy1 a host of inferior ecclesiastics passed through the ranks of the grinning soldiers1 and cut off hair enough to have made the fortunes of all the periwig builders who rolled in gilded chariots during the palmy days of the ,grand ,monarque4 ,in what then but in profligate days could wigs have triumphed in ,england8 ,periwigs established themselves victoriously 7dividing even the ,church7 under ,louis ,,xiv4 ,when a boy1 that king had such long and beautiful hair1 that a fashion ensued for all classes to wear at least an imitation thereof4 ,when ,louis began to lose his own1 he also took to false adornment2 and full-bottomed wigs bade defiance to the canons of the ,church4 ,charles ,,ii4 did not bring the fashion with him to ,whitehall4 ,on the contrary1 he withstood it4 ,he forbade the members of the ,university to wear periwigs1 smoke tobacco1 or read their sermons4 ,the members did all three1 and ,charles soon found himself doing the first two4 8,on the #bnd ,november1 #affc10 says ,pepys1 8,i heard the ,duke say1 that he was going to wear a periwig2 and they say the ,king also will4 ,i never till this day10 he adds1 8observed that the ,king was so mighty grey40 ,this perhaps was the reason why ,charles stooped to assume what he had before denounced4 ,pepys himself had adventured on the step in the previous ,may2 and what a business it was for the little man6 ,hear him4 8#hth4 ,at ,mr4 ,jervas's1 my old barber4 ,i did try two or three borders and periwigs1 meaning to wear one2 and yet ,i have no stomach for it2 but that the pains of keeping my hair clean is so great4 ,he trimmed me1 and at last ,i parted2 but my mind was almost altered from my first purpose1 from the trouble which ,i foresee will be in wearing them also40 ,he took some time to make up his mind2 and only in ,october of the same year does he take poor ,mrs4 ,pepys 8to my periwig maker's1 and there showed my wife the periwig made for me1 and she likes it very well40 ,in ,april1 #affe1 the wig was in the hands of ,jervas1 under repair4 ,in the meantime1 our old friend took to his natural hair2 but early in ,may we find him recording1 8that this day1 after ,i had suffered my own hayre to grow long1 in order to wearing it1 ,i find the convenience of periwigs is so great1 that ,i have cut off all short again1 and will keep to periwigs40 ,in the autumn1 on ,sunday the #crd of ,september1 the wicked little gallant moralizes thus on periwigs and their prospects4 8,up1 and put on my coloured silk suit1 very fine1 and my new periwig1 bought a good while since1 but durst not wear1 because the plague was in ,westminster when ,i bought it2 and it is a wonder what will be the fashion1 after the plague is done1 as to periwigs1 for nobody will dare to buy any hayre for fear of the infection1 that it had been cut off the heads of people dead of the plague40 ,the plague and fear thereof were clean forgotten before many months had passed2 and in ,june1 #afff1 ,pepys says3--8,walking in the galleries at ,whitehall1 ,i find the ladies of honour dressed in their riding-garbs1 with coats and doublets with deep skirts1 just for all the world like mine2 and buttoned their doublets up their breasts1 with periwigs and with hats4 ,so that only for a long petticoat dragging under their men's coats1 nobody could take them for women in any point whatever2 which was an odd sight1 and a sight that did not please me40 ,the moralist at ,whitehall1 however1 could forget his mission when at 8,mercer's40 ,there1 on the #adth of ,august1 #afff1 the thanksgiving day for the recent naval victory1 after 8hearing a piece of the ,dean of ,westminster's sermon10 dining merrily1 enjoying the sport at the ,bear ,garden1 and letting off fireworks1 the periwig philosopher1 with his wife1 ,lady ,penn1 ,pegg and ,nan ,wright1 kept it up at ,mrs4 ,mercer's after midnight2 8and there1 mighty merry1 smutting one another with candle-grease and soot1 until most of us were like devils4 ,and that being done1 then we broke up1 and to my house1 and there ,i made them drink2 and up stairs we went and then fell into dancing1 ,w4 ,battelier dancing well2 and dressing him and ,i1 and one ,mr4 ,banister1 who1 with my wife1 came over also with us1 like women2 and ,mercer put on a suit of ,tom's1 like a boy4 ,and ,mr4 ,wright1 and my wife1 and ,pegg ,penn put on periwigs1 and thus we spent till three or four in the morning1 mighty merry20--and little troubled with the thought whether the skull which had afforded the hair for such periwig were lying in the pest-fields or not4 ,by the following year1 our rising gentleman grows extravagant in his outlay for such adornments2 and he who had been content to wear a wig at #bcs4 buys now a pair for #d4 #ajs41--8mighty fine2 indeed too fine1 ,i thought1 for me40 ,and yet1 amazingly proud was the macaroni of his purchase1 recording two days afterwards1 that he had been 8to church1 and1 with my mourning1 very handsome2 and new periwig made a great show40 ,doubtless1 under ,james ,,ii41 his periwigged pate made a still greater show2 for then had wigs become stupendous in their architecture4 ,the beaux who stood beneath them1 as ,i have stated in another page1 carried exquisite combs in their ample pockets1 with which1 whether in the ,mall1 at the rout1 in the private box1 or engaged in the laborious work of 8making love10 they ever and anon combed their periwigs1 and rendered themselves irresistible4 ,even at that period1 ,wisdom was thought to be beneath the ,wig4 8,a full wig10 says ,farquhar in his #8,love and a ,bottle' 7#afih71 8is as infallible a token of wit as the laurel20 an assertion which ,i should never think of disputing4 ,tillotson is the first of our clergy represented in a wig1 and that a mere substitute for the natural head of hair4 8,i can remember10 he says1 in one of his sermons1 8since the wearing of the hair below the ears was looked upon as a sin of the first magnitude2 and when ministers generally1 whatever their text was1 did either find or make occasion to reprove the great sin of long hair2 and if they saw any one in the congregation guilty in that kind1 they would point him out particularly1 and let fly at him with great zeal40 ,the victory of ,ramilies introduced the ,ramilies wig1 with its peculiar1 gradually diminishing1 plaited tail1 and tie1 consisting of a great bow at top1 and a smaller one at the bottom4 ,this wig survived till the reign of ,george ,,iii4 ,the macaronis of #agbi wore 8a macaw-like toupee and a portentous tail40 ,but when the ,french ,revolution came in contact with any system1--from the ,german ,empire to perukes1--that system perished in the collision4 ,so periwigs ceased1 like the dynasty of the ,doges of ,venice2 and all that remains to remind us of by-gone glories in the former way1 is to be found in the ,ramilies tie1 which still clings to court coats1 though the wigs have fallen from the head1 never again to rise4 ,lady ,wortley ,montague makes a severe remark in her letters1 less against wigs indeed than their wearers4 ,she is alluding to an alleged custom in the ,east of branding every convicted liar on the forehead2 and she smartly adds1 that if such a custom prevailed in ,england1 the entire world of beaux here would have to pull their periwigs down to their eyebrows4 ,tillotson1 as ,i have noticed above1 makes reference to the opposition which perukes met with from the pulpit4 ,the hostility from that quarter in ,england was faint1 compared with the fiery antagonism which blazed in ,france4 ,in the latter country1 the privilege of wearing long hair belonged1 at one time1 solely to royalty4 ,lombard1 ,bishop of ,paris1 in the middle of the twelfth century induced royalty not to make the privilege common1 but to abolish it altogether4 ,the ,french monarchs wore their own hair cut short1 until the reign of ,louis ,,xiii41 who was the first ,king of ,france who wore a wig4 ,to the fashion set by him is owing that ,france ultimately became the paradise of perruquiers4 ,in #affj1 they first appeared on the heads of a few dandy abbs4 ,as ,ireland1 in ,edward ,dwyer1 or 8,edward of the ,wig10 has preserved the memory of the first of her sons who took to a periwig1 so ,france has handed down the ,abb de la ,rivire1 who died ,bishop of ,langres1 as being the ecclesiastical innovator on whose head first rested a wig1 with all the consequences of such guilty outrage of canonical discipline4 ,the indignation of strict churchmen was extreme2 and as the fashion began to spread amongst prelates1 canons1 and curs1 the ,bishop of ,toul sat himself down and wrote a 8blast0 against perukes1 the wearing of which1 he said1 unchristianized those who adopted the fashion4 ,it was even solemnly announced that a man had better not pray at all than pray with his head so covered4 ,no profanity was intended when zealous1 close-cropped1 and bareheaded ecclesiastics reminded their bewigged brethren1 that they were bound to imitate ,christ in all things2 and then asked them1 if the ,saviour were likely to recognize a resemblance to himself in a priest under a wig4 ,nor was this feeling confined to the ,romish ,church in ,france4 ,the ,reformed ,church was fully as hostile against the new and detested fashion4 ,bordeaux was in a state of insurrection1 for no other reason than that the ,calvinist pastor there had refused to admit any of his flock in wigs to the sacrament4 ,and when ,riviers1 ,protestant ,professor of ,theology at ,leyden1 wrote his #8,libertas ,christiana circa ,usum ,capillitii ,defensa' in behalf of perukes1 the ultra-orthodox in both churches turned to gore him4 ,the ,romanists asked1 what could be expected from a ,protestant but rank heresy8 and the ,protestants disowned a brother who defended a fashion which had originated with a ,romanist4 ,each party stood by the words of ,paul to the ,corinthians4 ,in vain did some suggest that the apostolical injunction was only local4 ,the ultras would heed no such suggestion1 and would have insisted on bare heads at both poles4 8,and yet10 remarked the wiggites1 8it is common for preachers to preach in caps40 8,ay10 retorted the orthodox1 8but that is simply because they are then speaking only in their own name4 ,reading the ,gospel or offering up the adorable sacrifice1 they are speaking or acting in the name of the ,universal ,church4 ,of course10 they added1 8there are occasions when even a priest may be covered4 ,if a ,pope invented the baret1 a cur may wear a cap40 ,sylvester was the first ,pontiff who wore a mitre1 but even that fashion became abused2 and in the year #ajjj a ,pope was seen with his mitre on during mass1--a sight which startled the faithful1 and a fact which artists would be none the worse for remembering4 ,after that period1 bishops took to them so pertinaciously that they hardly laid them by on going to bed4 ,these prelates were somewhat scandalized1 when the ,popes granted to certain dukes the privilege of wearing the mitre2 but when the like favour was granted to abbots of a peculiar class1 the prelatic execration was uttered with a jealous warmth that was perfectly astounding4 ,when the moderns brought the question back to its simple principles1 and asked the sticklers for old customs if wigs were not as harmless as mitres1 they were treated with as scant courtesy as ,mr4 ,gorham or the ,lord ,primate is in the habit of experiencing at the hands of a 8medival0 bishop4 ,if1 it was said1 a priest must even take off his calotte in presence of a king or ,pope1 how may he dare to wear a wig before ,god8 ,richelieu was the first ecclesiastic of his rank in ,france who wore the modern calotte2 but ,i very much doubt if he ever took it off in the presence of ,louis ,,xiii4 ,it is known however that the ,french ,king's ambassador1 ,m4 d',oppeville1 found much difficulty in obtaining an audience at ,rome4 ,he wore a wig calotte1--that is1 a wig with a coif1 as though the tonsure had been regularly performed1 and that the wig was natural hair4 ,the officials declared he could not be introduced unless he took off the calotte4 ,he could not do this without taking off the wig also1 as he showed the sticklers of court etiquette1 and stood before them with clean-shaven head2 asking1 at the same time1--8,would the ,pope desire me to stand in his presence in such a plight as this80 ,the ,pontiff however did not yield the point readily4 ,perhaps his ,holiness1 had he received the ambassador under bare poll1 would have graciously served him as one of his predecessors had served the ,irish saint1 ,malachi1--put his pontifical tiara on the good man's head1 to prevent his catching cold6 ,but of all the tilters against wigs1 none was so serious and chivalresque as 8,jean ,batiste ,thiers1 ,docteur en ,thologie et ,cur de ,champrond40 ,dr4 ,thiers1 in the year #afij1 wrote a book of some six hundred pages against the wearing of wigs by ecclesiastics4 ,he published the same at his own expense2 and high authority pronounced it conformable in every respect to the 8,roman ,catholic and ,apostolic ,church40 ,dr4 ,thiers wrote a brief preface to his work1 in which he invokes an abundant visitation of divine peace and grace on those who read his volume with tranquillity of mind1 and who preferred truth to fashion4 ,the invocation1 ,i fear1 is made in vain2 for the tediousness of the author slays all tranquillity of spirit on the part of the reader1 who cannot however refrain from smiling at seeing the very existence of ,christianity made to depend upon the question of perukes4 ,the book is a dull book3 but the prevailing idea in it1--that it is all over with religion if perukes be not abolished1--is one that might compel a cynic to inextinguishable laughter4 ,yes1 says the ,doctor1 the origin of the tonsure is to be found in the cutting of ,peter's hair by the ,gentiles1 to make him look ridiculous2 therefore1 he who hides the tonsure beneath a peruke insults the ,prince of the ,apostles6 ,a species of reasoning1 anything comparable with which is not to be found in that book which ,rome has honoured by condemning--,whately's #8,logic4' ,the volume however affords evidence of the intense excitement raised in ,france by the discussion of the bearing of wigs on ,christianity4 ,for a season1 the question in some degree resembled1 in its treatment at least1 that of baptismal regeneration1 as now treated among ourselves4 ,no primitively-minded prelate would license a cur who professed neutrality on the matter of wigs4 ,the wearers of these were often turned out of their benefices2 but then they were welcomed in other dioceses1 by bishops who were heterodoxly given to the mundane comfort of wiggery4 ,terrible scenes took place in vestries between wigged priests ready to repair to the altar1 and their brethren or superiors who sought to prevent them4 ,chapters suspended such priests from place and profit2 ,parliaments broke the decree of suspension1 and ,chapters renewed the interdict4 ,decree was abolished by counter-decree1 and the whole ,church was rent in twain by the contending parties4 ,louis ,,xiv4 took the conservative side of the question1 so far as it regarded ecclesiastics2 and the ,archbishop of ,rheims fondly thought he had clearly settled the dispute by decreeing1 that wigs might or might not be worn1 according to circumstances4 ,they were allowed to infirm and aged priests1 but never at the altar4 ,one consequence was that many priests used first to approach near to the altar1 and there taking off their wigs1 deposit the same1 under protest1 in the hands of attending notaries4 ,such a talk about heads had not kept a whole city in confusion since the days wherein ,st4 ,fructuarius1 ,bishop of ,braga1 decreed the penalty of entirely-shaven crowns against all the monks of that city caught in the fact of kissing any of its maidens4 ,three-fourths of the grave gentlemen thus came under the razor6 ,such would not have been the case1 good reader1 with you and me4 ,certainly not6 ,we would not have been found out1 and we know better than to 8kiss and tell1 as they do at ,brentford40 ,thiers could not see in the wig the uses discerned by ,cumberland1 who says1 in his #8,choleric ,man1'--8,believe me1 there is much good sense in old distinctions4 ,when the law lays down its full-bottomed periwig1 you will find less wisdom in bald pates than you are aware of40 ,the ,cur of ,champrond says that the ,french priests1 who yearly spent their thirty or forty pistoles in wigs1 were so irreligious that they kept their best wigs for the world1 and their oldest for ,god6--wearing the first in drawing-rooms1 and the latter in church4 ,this was certainly less ingenious than in the case of the man celebrated in the #8,connoisseur1' who1 having but one peruke1 made it pass for two3--8,it was naturally a kind of flowing bob2 but by the occasional addition of two tails1 it sometimes passed as a major40 ,in ,france wigs ended by assuming the appearance of nature4 ,in the ,reign of ,terror1 the modish blonde perukes worn by females were made of hair purchased from the executioner1 of whom old ladies bought the curls which had clustered about the young necks that had been severed by the knife of ,samson4 ,but after this the fashion ceased among women1 as it had already done among men1 beginning to do so with the latter when ,franklin appeared in his own hair1 unpowdered1 at the ,court of ,louis ,,xvi42 and from that period wigs have belonged only to history4 ,if you please1 gentle reader1 we will now descend from the wig to the beard4 ,,beards ,,and ,,their ,,bearers4 8,now of beards there be ,such a company1 ,of fashions such a throng1 ,that it is very hard ,to treat of the beard1 ,though it be ne'er so long40 ,ballad in ,,le ,,prince ,d',,amour4 7#afej47 ,whoever invented wigs1 proud as he may be of the achievement1 cannot boast of the same antiquity for his fashion as that which attaches to the beard4 ,the beard1 like sewing1 came in with or was a consequence of sin4 ,with respect to sewing and sin1 ,i have before spoken2 and ,i will only add here1 that in the most prosperous times of ,puritanism1 it was the fashion for ,puritan ladies to wear aprons only of a green colour1 that being presumedly the colour of the apron worn by ,eve1 whose daughters they were1 and the remembrance of whose sin and the acknowledgment of their own1 they perpetuated in the adopted fashion of their day4 ,it is confidently asserted by ,dutch philosophers1--so confidently that to suppose they have not good authority for what they assert1 would be very ungenerous on my part1--it is asserted then by these ,hollanders that ,adam was created without a beard1 and that the latter appendage was suddenly conferred on his chin on the very evening of the day that he had been such a 8beast0 as to allow himself to be beguiled into rebellion by his wife4 ,he was consequently so far changed into the similitude of a beast1 being rendered most like the goat1 who is an impostor in his way1 wearing as he does the grave airs of a judge1 and yet being given to very frolicsome indulgences1 in which judges should not1 though they often do1 indulge4 ,if this be fact1 one may wonder why ,eve and her daughters generally escaped this badge of opprobrium4 ,it was perhaps on the principle according to which we punish the receiver more than the thief4 ,if there were no receivers there would be less pilferers2 and though ,eve offered the temptation1 if ,adam had only resisted it1 the consequences would have been confined within their original narrow limits1 and ,mr4 ,mechi's razor-strops would have been without a market4 ,van ,helmont1 in support of this theory1 asks us if we ever saw a good angel with a beard2--one of those questions which are supposed by those who put them to determine a dispute at once4 ,he falls to another conclusion thereupon2 and maintains that if good angels do not wear beards1 the men who do are guilty of profanity1 and love goats rather than godliness4 ,van ,helmont himself was extremely perplexed by the ,jesuit casuists1 who wrote on the lawfulness of beards1 and who most lucidly proved1 under three heads1--#ast1 ,that we are bound to shave the beard2 #bnd1 ,that we are bound to let it grow2 and #crd1 ,that we may do either the one or the other4 ,st4 ,franois de ,sales1 the gentleman saint1 was less perplexing when1 on being asked by a lady whether she might not rouge1 smiled1 and answered1 certainly1 if she only painted one cheek4 ,van ,helmont hit the happy medium left by the ,jesuitical argument1 and1 shaving his beard1 only cultivated his mustachios4 ,southey is rather inclined to accept the ,dutch account of the derivation of beards1 based as it is on the certainty that no man ever saw a good angel wearing one2 8for10 says he1 8take the most beautiful angel that ever painter designed or engraver copied1 put him on a beard1 and the celestial character will be so entirely destroyed1 that the simple appendage of a tail will cacodmonize the ,eudmon40 ,so it may be said1 that a monk with a fine polished bald head is hedged with a sort of divinity1 and looks altogether reverend2 but only sprinkle powder from a dredging-box upon the baldness1 and you make him1 if not ridiculous1 certainly mundane4 ,the ,english clergy do not appear to have estimated beards by ,van ,helmont's scale4 ,one of the body1 in the reign of ,elizabeth1 cherished his beard as an incentive to righteousness4 8,he wore it10 he said1 8to remind him that no act of his life should be unworthy of the gravity of his appearance40 ,this good gentleman's beard assuredly did not deserve what ,shakspeare affirms some men's do1 namely1 8not so honourable a grave as to stuff a botcher's cushion1 or to be entombed in an ass's pack-saddle40 ,henry ,,viii4 on the other hand1 would not tolerate monitorism even from his own beard1 and he accordingly and characteristically cut it short4 ,perhaps this monarch wished also to have it out of the way of petitioners2 for stroking the beard1 in sign of supplication for mercy1 was for thousands of years a recognized fashion1 as may be seen in the ,classics1 and in ,shakspeare1 passim4 ,it will be remembered that ,hudibras stroked his own beard before he proceeded to 8honour the shadow0 of the lady's shoe-tie4 ,this act has been editorially declared to have been done as in sign of asking for her favour2 from the recollection1 ,i suppose1 of ,thetis 8palming0 the chin of ,jupiter2 but ,i think it was merely a piece of gallantry1 8dressing0 as it were1 for the occasion1 as in ,congreve's #8,way of the ,world1' wherein it is said1 8,the gentlemen wait but to comb1 ,madam1 and will wait on you40 ,formerly1 no gallant ascended to a lady's boudoir without first combing his peruke at the foot of the stairs1 and assuring himself1 by a glance at his pocket mirror1 that he was as well-looking a fop as ever wasted morning in talking nonsense to a speaking and painted doll4 ,to pull another person's beard1 was to inflict on the wearer the most degrading insult that could be thought of4 ,when the ,jew1 who hated and feared the living ,cid ,rui ,dios1 heard that the great ,spaniard was dead1 he contrived to get into the room where the body lay1 and he indulged his revengeful spirit by contemptuously plucking at the beard4 ,but the 8son of somebody0 7the hidalgo7 was plucked temporarily into life and indignation by the outrage2 and starting half up1 endeavoured to get at his sword1--an attempt which killed the ,jew by the mere fright which it caused4 ,to shave a ,moslem's beard was once a penalty as terrible as to a ,chinese the cutting off of his extended tail2 and ,christian princes have so esteemed the appendage1 that they have pawned the beard1 or a portion of it1 for money lent1 and redeemed the sacred pledge punctually at the promised hour4 ,they would have forfeited all claim to be honoured of men1 or rewarded of ,god1 had they failed in their contract4 ,in modern times they pledge only their words2 and as words are of less value than beards1 they are not so careful about the redemption thereof4 ,that terribly mendacious personage1 the ,czar ,nicholas1 has1 at all events1 made his 8parole de gentleman0 to be synonymous with deliberate falsehood4 ,the beard however was long a cherished ornament of ,russian chins1 and the ,czar ,peter was accused of profanity against that orthodoxy which so distinguishes his successors by abolishing them4 ,he certainly abolished the huge and spreading honours of the ,muscovite jaws by a rough process4 ,taxes were laid upon them1 which had their weight upon every hair2 and when the recalcitrant were encountered in the street1 they were seized1 and their beards either torn from them1 or shaved off with an oyster-knife1 whereby half the chin went with the entire beard4 ,the loyal nobility compromised the matter by preserving their beards in their cabinets1 to be buried with them4 ,they conjectured that the angels would neither know nor welcome them if they presented themselves at ,heaven's gate with clean chins3 they thought more of these than of clean souls4 ,taylor1 the water poet1 catalogues in rough rhymes the various fashions after which beards were worn4 ,they are too tedious to enumerate1 and yet do not enumerate every fashion2 for omission is made of the fact that it was once the very 8sweetest0 mode to wear strings to the beard1 as ,jack the highwayman did to the knees of his breeches1 and the ,kings of ,persia1 who interwove their beards with gold thread4 ,the 8cane-coloured0 beard was always held as detestable1 that hue having been1 according to tradition1 that of the beard of the traitor ,judas4 ,the famous ,count ,brhl1 who lost ,saxony but preserved a collection of wigs1 was more practical than the ,water ,poet4 ,his wig museum not only contained every variety1 but they were chronologically arranged1 from the days of ,aaron to those of the ,count's own time4 ,i may add1 that ,i have never heard of the beard being held in dishonour except among the ,chaymas1 in ,south ,america1 who have a great antipathy against it4 ,apollo and ,mercury are the only deities of olden times who are represented beardless4 ,when professional barbers first arose it would be difficult to say2 ,rome got hers from where she procured her cooks--,sicily2 but the ,eternal ,city was four centuries and a half old before the chins of her sons were submitted to the handling of mercenaries4 ,scipio ,africanus1 despite the turmoil of battles1 found time to shave every day2 and he was the first ,roman who did so4 ,had the ,senate followed the same fashion1 the invading ,gaul would not have found a beard to pluck1 and perhaps the city might have been saved4 ,the old ,persians were very obstinate in this respect2 and they and the ,tartars waged bloody wars1 and spilled oceans of blood in no better quarrel than the fashion of the beard4 ,these heathens were almost as wicked as the ,christian inhabitants of the adjacent towns of ,bouvignes and ,dinant1 in ,flanders4 ,the people of both localities manufactured copper kettles1 and each declared that the other's ware was made after a sorry fashion4 ,the animosity thus created led to bloody and long-continued feuds2 but peace was happily restored by the time that other towns had applied themselves to the manufacture1 and this gave the old antagonists the more leisure to ruminate upon their own folly4 ,when ,alexander ordered the ,macedonian soldiers to shave1 lest their beards should be handles whereby their enemies might capture them1 smooth chins become a universal ,greek fashion4 ,it so continued to the reign of ,justinian1 but when the ,turks took ,byzantium1 they would allow of beards only on the chins of the conquerors2 and the ,normans treated the ,anglo-,saxons according to the same rule4 ,subsequently1 in the year #abjj1 the ,council of ,lateran swept off the beards of the monks1 8lest in the ceremony of receiving the sacrament1 the beard might touch the bread and wine1 or crumbs and drops fall and stick upon it40 ,the monks then were1 like the ,emperors1 utraquists4 ,of course dispensation was to be obtained by paying for it1 and it was probably therefore that the decree was issued2 but some wore their beards1 in despite of the ,church and her chancery1 for the same reason that ,fitzherbert ,longbeard did in the ,norman times1 to show his independence of all superiors and their orders4 ,if there has really been wisdom in the wig1 there has been wit in the beard1 or its owner4 ,more1 on the scaffold1 put it out of reach of the axe1 because1 as he said1 it had committed no treason4 ,raleigh1 when visited by the barber of the ,tower1 declined to have his beard trimmed1 on the ground that there was a lawsuit pending about it1 between him and the ,king1 and he would not lay out any capital on it till the cause had been decided4 ,raleigh's wit reminds me of something still more witty1 and quite as germane to the subject4 ,a few years prior to the ,revolution1 the witty but rather too fiery ,linguet was committed to the ,bastille4 ,it is seldom that confinement calms the bile of the confined2 and accordingly ,linguet1 the next morning1 was engaged in writing ab irato an article against his incarcerators2 when he was interrupted by the entrance into his room of a tall1 thin1 pale1 personage1 whose appearance very much displeased the celebrated advocate4 8,what is your business80 said the latter1 in a marked tone of ill-humour4 8,sir10 answered the other1 8,i come--0 8,i see you are come60 interrupted the impatient lawyer1 8but you are not wel-come40 8,possibly1 ,sir2 but ,i am the ,bastille barber1 and ,i have come--0 ,here the ,figaro of state-prisoners burst into a laugh1 and rubbing his chin significantly with his hand1 exclaimed1 8,ho6 ho6 my good ,sir1 that is a different matter2 puisque vous tes le barbier de la ,bastille1 rasez-la20 and after so capital a pun1 he addressed himself in better humour to the cutting up of his adversaries4 ,the last barber who held something more than barber's office under a ,christian king was ,olivier le ,dain1 the familiar of ,louis ,,xi4 ,in ,persia1 it has been common for the monarch's barber to be a prince over the people4 ,the ,khasterash1 or 8personal shaver10 is reverenced by all inferior citizens2 and they see nothing incongruous in the fact that a palace and slaves are part of the rewards of a man who makes of the beard of the ,shah an eighth wonder of the world4 ,the beard1 in fact1 has ever been held in reverential regard by all ,moslems1 for the reason that their prophet never allowed instrument to diminish his own4 ,an ,arab would be as much horror-stricken now as ever ,lacedemonian fugitive was of old1 if in punishment for offence he were condemned to lose1 by shaving1 the half of his beard4 ,he would infinitely prefer to lose half his family4 ,the wit of ,linguet1 mentioned above1 recalls to my memory a trait of a ,duc de ,brissac4 ,this nobleman was frequently heard saying1 as he was at his matutinal toilet1 and was about to raise his razor to the surface of his ducal chin3--8,now then1 ,timolon de ,coss1 ,god hath made thee a gentleman1 and the ,king hath made thee a duke2 nevertheless1 it is right and proper that thou shouldst have something to do--therefore thou shalt shave thyself40 ,i may add that it was the fashion of the ,de ,cosss to have one general ,christian name2 and ,i think it is ,bungener who remarks1 in his #8,julian1' that on a gentleman of this house being brought before the revolutionary tribunal1 and asked what his baptismal name was1 he answered indignantly1 8,am ,i not a ,de ,coss8 and what should my ,christian name be but ,timolon80--and he added an exclamatory 8de par ,dieu60 to show that though he was in danger of death1 he could swear as recklessly as though he had still been in the galleries of ,versailles4 ,i have said that philosophers have not disdained to write upon the beard1 and ,i may be honestly proud of an opportunity to follow in the wake of the philosophers4 ,chrysippus has chronologized its history1 and it is from him we know that it was not before the reign of ,alexander that shaving became a fashion in the ,east4 ,timotheus1 that renowned musician1 long stuck to the olden mode1 and played the flute in a beard as long as his instrument1 3 and how sweetly does that last word interpret the flute's sweet sound--6 it dies away like a cadence beneath the lips of as great a flutist as ,timotheus1 our own modest and able ,richardson4 ,the first man who shaved himself at ,athens acquired a name by the act4 ,he was called ,korses1 the shaven1 or clipped4 ,diogenes despised fashion1 and therefore kept his beard4 ,not only that2 he abused all who dispensed with it4 8,ah60 he exclaimed with that mouth which lay behind a portion of his own hirsute dirtiness1--for ,diogenes had a contempt for soap2--8,ah60 cried he1 on encountering a friend newly mown1 8art thou inclined then to reproach ,nature8 ,wouldst thou insinuate that she had done better to have made thee a woman rather than a man80 ,at ,rhodes all shaving was forbidden2 but the ,rhodians loved to display their independence of the law1 and every man did what seemed best to his own chin4 ,the same unruly sort of liberty was taken by the ,byzantine barbers4 ,the law expressly denounced razors1 but scissors were tolerated4 ,clipping was permitted1 but shaving was pronounced irreligious4 ,some priests shaved in spite of the decree4 ,it was made a diocesan-court matter of2 and the chief pontiff1 a sort of bishop in his way1 rendered an admirable judgement on the occasion4 ,he regretted his limited powers1 but he said his course was clear4 ,scissors were lawful1 razors illegal2 but the priests had first used the former1 and the law did not say that razors should not be used after the scissors had been applied4 ,for his own part1 he did not well know which to adopt2 but he thought his reverend gentlemen would be justified in keeping razors1 but not in using them--themselves4 ,they might shave each other6 ,one poor priest inquired what he was required to do1 seeing that he had no beard4 8,oh10 said 1 8in this case ,i have no doubt4 ,the use of scissors is imperative2 and if you do not obey the law1 ,i will clap you into the ,ecclesiastical ,court40 ,the ,mahometans are very superstitious touching the beard4 ,they bury the hairs which come off in combing it1 and break them first1 because they believe that angels have charge of every hair1 and that they gain them their dismissal by breaking it4 ,selim ,i4 was the first ,sultan who shaved his beard1 contrary to the law of the ,koran4 8,i do it10 said he apologetically to the scandalized and orthodox mufti1 8to prevent my vizier leading me by it40 ,he cared less for it than some of our ancestors1 two centuries ago1 did for their own4 ,they used to wear pasteboard covers over them in the night1 lest they should turn upon them and rumple them in their sleep6 ,the famous ,raskolniki schismatics had a similar superstition to the ,mahometan one mentioned above4 ,they considered the divine image in man to reside in the beard4 ,not only have the shavers of barbaric kings been accounted superior to the ,prime ,minister1 as in our own country ,french coiffeurs are infinitely better paid than ,english curates2 so to be shaved by a ,prince is to be exalted to ecstatic honours4 ,hoskins1 the traveller1 was so operated on by the heir apparent of the ,shaghes4 ,his royal highness used a threepenny razor1 and at every stroke carried away as much chin as beard2 the honour was too much for the traveller1 especially when it was cut out with a blunt razor4 ,rogers is said to have once asked ,talleyrand if ,napoleon shaved himself4 8,yes10 said the latter2 8one who is born to be a king has some one to shave him1 but they who acquire kingdoms shave themselves40 ,he might have added1 8,and the people too1 pretty closely60 ,but ,i am pulling the beard to a greater extent than my readers' patience will be inclined to bear with it4 ,i have only to add1 that the beard was a symbol of bravery as well as of wisdom2 and he who had a good one on his chin was usually able to grasp a sword to some purpose in his hand4 ,let us therefore draw the sword too1 and see what can be made of it4 ,,swords4 8,i love an enemy1 ,i was born a soldier2 ,and he that at the head of his troop defies me1 ,binding my manly body with his sword ,i make my mistress40--,,bonduca4 ,in the first book of the ,peloponnesian ,war1 it is stated by ,thucydides that 8the people of the ,continent exercised robberies upon one another2 and to this very day10 he adds1 8the people of ,greece are supported by the same practices40 ,the great historian especially names the ,ozolian ,locrians1 tolians1 and ,acarnanians1 and their neighbours on the continent2 among whom1 as he informs his readers1 the custom of wearing their swords1 or other weapons required by their old life of rapine1 was still retained4 8,this custom10 continues the writer1 8of wearing weapons1 once prevailed throughout ,greece1 as the houses had no manner of defence1 as travelling was full of hazard1 and the whole lives of the people were passed in armour1 like barbarians4 ,a proof of this10 says the civilized ,thucydides1 8is the continuance still in some parts of ,greece of these manners1 which were once with uniformity general to all4 ,the ,athenians were the first who discontinued the custom of wearing their swords1 and who passed from the dissolute life into more polite and elegant manners40 ,what the ,athenians did so long ago was not accomplished in our own metropolis until the end of the first quarter1 or rather the beginning of the second half1 of the last century4 ,the example1 slowly set by ,london1 was soon enforced at ,bath4 ,i say 8enforced10 because there was a pleasant despot there1 who ruled so supreme that the very 8,baths of ,bath0 seemed only to flow at his permission4 ,it was in presence of 8,beau ,nash0 that fell the swords and top-boots of the squires and the aprons of the ladies4 ,the results thereof1 at least of the putting aside the sword1 at ,bath and in ,london1 and throughout the country generally1 where gallant submitted to be disarmed in obedience to law or to custom1 may be described in the language of ,thucydides1 as applied to the ,athenians when they abandoned ruffianism and adopted refinement3--8,men passed from the dissolute life into more polite and elegant manners40 ,in the simple old ,saxon days the sword played a considerable part in the making of a knight4 ,the candidate for chivalry was required1 the day before his consecration1 to confess2 and then pass the night in the church1 in prayer and fasting4 ,on the following day he was to hear mass1 and during the service he placed his sword upon the altar2 the priest1 after the ,gospel1 took the weapon1 blessed it1 and then1 with benison on the warrior1 laid the blade on the neck of the knight1 who however was not a knight complete until he had received the ,sacrament as a complement of the blessing4 ,thus the ,church made her own cavaliers3 but the ,normans1 who came among us under a banner blessed by the ,pope1 held his method of consecration in scorn and abomination4 ,the knights so made they accounted of as no knights at all1 but as mere 8tardy troopers and degenerate plebeians40 ,so1 in modern times1 a militia ensign with a ,norman name affects to look with contempt on a 8captain0 who may have fought his way to his title in ,spain or ,south ,america2 and the young noble who at ,oxford has taken a degree1 not conferred by right of knowledge1 but seized by right of nobility1 pretends to look down upon men who1 at ,bonn1 at ,marburg1 or at ,gttingen1 have penned their ,latin thesis1 and maintained its statements against all adversaries1 and who have won their honours1--in short1 by earning and deserving them4 ,they were godless fellows1 those ,normans1 though they did come with a papal benediction4 ,previous to their appearance no deed was legal that was not marked by golden crosses and other sacred signs4 ,the ,northmen changrent tout cela3 they transferred estates simply by word of mouth1 without writing or charter1 and only with the sword1 helmet1 horn1 or cup of the owner4 ,tenements1 we are told1 were conveyed with a spur1 a bow1 an arrow1 or even a 8body-scraper40 ,but this was soon found to be inconvenient2 and then the conquerors introduced the custom of confirming deeds by wax impressions1 made by the especial seal of each person1 with the subscription thereto of three or four witnesses present4 ,now many a ,norman had no other seal than the end of the pommel of his sword1 and by such an instrument many a ,saxon was pommelled out of his estate4 ,and what were these ,normans1 from whom so many amongst us are proud to trace their descent8 ,they were--at least good numbers of them were--unbaptized thieves4 ,such certainly were the ,mandevilles and ,dandevilles1 the ,mohuns and ,bohuns1 the ,bissets and ,bassets4 ,these were fellows who had converted themselves to ,christianity fifty times in the course of the year1 for the sake of the garment given each time to every convert4 ,those renowned swordsmen1 the ,dagotes1 ,bastards1 ,talbots1 ,laceys1 ,percys1--what were they but so many robbers who came hither penniless1 and were very much astonished at the superabundance of their own good fortune8 ,still lower in the scale must have been those ,norman swordsmen whose names translated signify ,bull-head1 ,ox-eye1 ,dirty-villain1 ,breechless1 and the like4 ,nay1 ,wim 7the7 ,carter1 ,hugh 7the7 ,tailor1 and ,wim 7the7 ,drummer stand recorded in the ,monast4 ,anglic4 as having been made ,norman knights and noble by right of conquest4 ,the ancestor of one of our proudest dukes was a plundering scoundrel1 who1 having no name at all1 was known by that of the town in which he had been recruited1--,st4 ,maur2 and the ladies of the ,somerset family do not appear ashamed of the descent1 since they1 not long ago1 adopted the old name in preference to that of ,seymour1 which some of the branches of the family still retain4 ,our ,chaloners1 ,rochfords1 and ,chaworths can boast of no more honourable ancestry3 they all spring from the sword-begirt loins of vagabonds1 born or recruited in ,chlons1 ,rochefort1 and ,cahors2 and the honourable house of ,sacheverele has no more glorious founder than a limping brigand1 known by the name of 8,saute ,chevreau10 or 8,saut de ,chevreau10 because he hopped like a goat4 ,why1 if antiquity of name be a thing to boast of1 that of ,john ,adams should be most admired among men2 and ,winnifred ,jenkins is1 in such case1 more truly noble than the proudest ,norman of them all4 ,i have noticed how possession was sometimes given with the sword4 ,it was perhaps in allusion to that old custom that ,jack ,cade touched with his weapon that ancient piece of mystery1 8,london ,stone40 ,he felt that his title was not good until that ceremony was performed2 and1 that done1 8,now60 exclaimed that popular hater of national schools1 8now is ,mortimer ,lord of ,london city60 ,his worship the ,mayor carries1 by his deputy1 a similar weapon1 as emblem of his sovereignty4 ,the sword in the ,city shield has another signification4 ,some have supposed it was placed there in memory of the gallant chief magistrate who so summarily despatched ,wat ,tyler2 but the sword was in the ,city shield long before that period4 ,it was called the ,sword of ,st4 ,paul2 and the ,domine dirige nos is an invocation that the magistracy may be taught to bear such sword like gentlemen and ,christians4 ,is it because the prayer has been ineffectual that a new legend was constructed to account for the emblazoned weapon8 ,in the reign of ,elizabeth there were two adjuncts which especially went to the making of a gallant--the ruff and the rapier4 ,he whose ruff was the deepest and rapier the longest was the most unquestionable gallant2 the consequence was1 that apprentices robbed their masters in order to look like gallants4 ,the vigorous ,queen looked to it1 however2 and she placed grave citizens at the gates1 with orders to cut off all ruffs of above a nail in depth1 and break the points of all rapiers that were above a yard long4 ,the scenes at the ,city gates must have been turbulent enough at those times1 for it is not to be supposed that a 8ruffian0 would submit quietly to the cutting of his collar or the clipping of his sword4 ,in earlier times1 in ,england1 the sword and poniard too had something of sacredness attached to them3 thus1 when ,athelstan was marching against the ,danes and ,scots1 he paid a visit by the way to the shrine of ,st4 ,john of ,beverley4 ,upon the altar of the church there he deposited his poniard1 vowing that if ,heaven and the ,saint would help him to a victory1 he would redeem the arm at a suitable price4 ,he gained the victory1 and observed his vow2 and for years the monks there blessed the good ,athelstan for not only putting them above the law1 but making them as rich as ,crsus4 ,if he had not1 they were men who would have taken their revenge2 and they would not have scrupled1 as the member of the ,peace ,society says in one of the comedies of ,aristophanes1 8to take his measure for a suit of ,sardian scarlet10 or to have served his body as the heralds have the arms of the ,duke of ,buccleuch1 which1 as we all know1 are 8bruised by a baton sinister40 ,the readers of ,sterne will not need to be reminded that in ancient days in ,brittany a nobleman1 too poor to support his dignity1 was allowed to make temporary sacrifice of the same by turning to commercial pursuits1 after first surrendering his sword to the keeping of the magistracy4 ,when fortune was achieved by honest industry1 the old sword was once more hung upon the thigh4 ,it was a wise custom1 superior to that ,i have heard of in another country1 where pauper aristocrats condescend to get rich by marrying merchants' daughters1 whose dowries they as profligately squander as though they had inherited them from their own fathers4 ,i have1 in my #8,,table ,,traits1' alluded to the use and abuse of the sword1 and therefore will not repeat here incidents already related therein2 ,i will merely remark that the best exemplification of the career of a mere swordsman is to be found in the history of fighting ,fulwood1 the lawyer4 ,this hero1 ever ready to draw his blade with or without reason1 while standing 7one night in the year of #agbj71 as was the custom of the pit1 to see ,mrs4 ,oldfield in #8,the ,scornful ,lady1' remonstrated roughly with ,beau ,fielding for pushing against him4 8,orlando the ,fair0 straightway clapped his hand to his sword2 and the pugnacious lawyer1 determined not to be behindhand1 drew his blade1 and passed it into the body of the ,beau4 ,while the latter1 who was a mature gentleman of some half-century old1 was exhibiting his wound1 in order to excite the sympathy which he could not arouse in the breasts of the laughing ladies1 ,fulwood1 flushed by victory1 hastened to the playhouse in ,lincoln's ,inn ,fields1 where he picked a quarrel with ,captain ,cusack1 who was a better swordsman than ,orlando and who stopped the lawyer's triumphs by straightway slaying him4 ,the sword-clubs were suppressed by royal proclamation in #agbd4 ,they had been denounced as unlawful three years previously4 ,the object of the proclamation was to banish from civilized society the sword itself1 in order thereby to check the practice of duelling1 which was1 at that period1 exercised exclusively by means of the sword4 ,the law became stringent1 and judges merciless upon this point4 ,this was made sufficiently clear in #agbf1 when ,major ,oneby killed ,mr4 ,gower in a duel with swords1 fought in a tavern1 after a dispute over a game at hazard4 ,the adversaries had fought without witnesses1 in a room the door of which was closed4 ,the ,major1 who had been both the aggressor and the challenger1 mortally wounded ,mr4 ,gower1 who however declared that he had fallen in fair combat4 ,a jury1 nevertheless1 found ,oneby guilty of murder2 the judges acquiesced in the verdict1 but the ,major escaped public execution by committing suicide4 ,the law had not long to wait before other offenders were summoned for too freely using the sword4 ,on a night in ,november1 #agbg1 ,savage the poet1 with two companions1 named ,gregory and ,merchant1 entered a coffee-house near ,charing-cross4 ,merchant insulted the company1 a quarrel ensued1 swords were drawn1 and a ,mr4 ,sinclair was slain by a thrust1--it is said1 but not proved1 from the sword of ,savage4 ,the result of the trial that followed is well known4 ,the verdict of guilty of murder against ,savage and ,gregory1 and of manslaughter against ,merchant 7who was the most culpable of the three71 was exacted by a villanously partial judge1 evidently under pressure of the proclamation against swords4 ,merchant was at once burned in the hand in open court2 he was also fined1 compelled to give security for future good behaviour1 and discharged4 ,his associates had a narrow escape of an ignominious death1 for which they were assiduously prepared by that ,dr4 ,edward ,young1 who had not then achieved a reputation for #8,night ,thoughts1' but who was establishing a reputation by the publication of those #8,satires' which so faithfully portray the social crimes and errors of the day4 ,johnson's ,life of ,savage does not notice ,merchant's sentence1 nor does it state upon what terms ,savage and ,gregory obtained their liberty4 ,they were liberated upon condition of their withdrawing to the ,colonies for the space of three years1 and giving security to keep the peace4 ,the conditions appear to have been evaded4 ,gregory indeed did proceed to ,antigua1 where he obtained an appointment in the customs2 but the wayward ,savage sat down as a pensioner at the hearth of ,lord ,tyrconnell1 whose benevolence1 it is hardly necessary to add1 he most shamefully abused4 ,i think that the last duel1 certainly the last fatal duel1 fought with swords1 was between ,lord ,byron and ,mr4 ,chaworth1 in ,january1 #agfb4 ,they had quarrelled at the ,star and ,garter1 ,pall ,mall1 upon a question touching manors and game-preserves2 they fought in a closed room of the tavern1 and ,mr4 ,chaworth was slain4 ,the circumstances of the killing looked much more like murder than in the case of ,major ,oneby and ,mr4 ,gower4 ,the ,peers1 however1 acquitted ,lord ,byron of the capital crime1 but they found him guilty of manslaughter4 ,his lordship claimed the benefit of the statute of ,edward ,,vi41 and he was discharged on paying his fees4 ,a bitter mockery of justice6 ,the sword appears to have been drawn in as hot wrath at the playhouse as in the park2 and sometimes to have figured by way of ridicule4 ,i may cite1 as an example of the latter1 an incident of the time of ,charles ,,ii4 ,the court was at ,dover1 whither the ,king had gone to receive his sister1 and the mistress which that sister brought in her hand as a bribe whereby to make of ,charles the enemy of his people6 ,at this time1 the ,french courtiers wore laced coats1 of various colours1 but all ridiculously short4 ,the shortness of the front part was made up for by the breadth of the waistbelt4 ,nokes1 the ,keeley of his day1 was dressed to play ,sir ,arthur ,addle1 in #8,sir ,solomon2' and his costume1 a caricature on the already sufficiently absurd dress of the ,french1 so delighted the celebrated ,duke of ,monmouth1 that the latter took his own sword and belt from his side1 and buckled it with his own semi-royal hands about the person of the player4 ,we should be somewhat startled in these days if we were to hear of ,lord ,augustus ,fitzclarence fastening a cutlass upon the thigh of ,mr4 ,keeley1 when acting in the #8,thirst for ,gold3' but in ,charles's days such freaks were very mildly construed of4 ,the appearance of ,nokes1 in his short coat and long sword1 elicited a roar from ,king and court1 all the louder that the ,french originals were present4 ,the latter must have taken our most religious and gracious ,king for a sorry barbarian2 and1 as chivalrous ideas went1 it was very well that they did not surround ,nokes as he was going home1 and 8pink0 him into an everlasting incapability of ever caricaturing them again4 ,james ,,ii4 was unquestionably more of a true gentleman in outward bearing than his brother ,charles4 ,i have an instance of this appropriate to this very subject of swords and actors4 ,in the reign of ,james1 an actor of unimpeachable character and of very refined manners1 named ,smith1 had a discussion behind the scenes with a young nobleman1 who1 losing his temper with getting the worst of the argument1 drew his sword and struck ,smith1--for want of logic to confute him4 ,the ,king forbade the courtier to appear in his presence2 and by this means proclaimed his opinion that the nobleman was less of a gentleman than the player4 ,but such a manifestation of opinion roused all the so-called gentlemen against the so-called vagabond players2 and the next time ,smith played they resorted to the theatre1 sword in hand and catcall between their lips1 and so plied both1 that1 despite the royal protection1 he was driven from the stage for ever4 ,luckily for him1 the 8vagabond0 was better off1 on two points1 than the 8noble gentlemen10 his antagonists3 he had a considerable fortune1 and he was in debt to no man1 not even to his tailor4 ,smith's story of the swords drawn against him1 reminds me of ,mrs4 ,verbruggen's1 with the sword always ready to leap from the scabbard to defend her4 ,mrs4 ,verbruggen was the ,mrs4 ,sterling of her period1--that is1 the cleverest of artificial actresses4 ,it would be pertinent to my subject of #8,habits' to speak of her as she appeared in what is called 8breeches parts20 but ,i am afraid if ,i were to describe her1 as old ,anthony ,aston does1 who so often saw and wondered1 it would be considered very impertinent indeed4 ,i may tell however what he says of her face4 8,it was of a fine smooth oval10 says ,anthony1 8full of beautiful and well-disposed moles1 as were her neck and breast40 ,he afterwards adds3--8,she was the best conversation possible1--never captious or displeased at anything but what was gross or indecent4 ,for she was cautious1 lest fiery ,jack should so resent it as to breed a quarrel2 for he would often say1 #8,damme6 though ,i don't much value my wife1 yet nobody shall affront her2' and his sword was drawn on the least occasion1 which was much in fashion at the latter end of ,king ,william's reign40 ,it is a funny trait of the sword-wearers1 that they could extol the virtue which they had ineffectually endeavoured to destroy4 ,we see this in the case of ,mrs4 ,bracegirdle1 that ,diana of the stage before whom ,congreve and ,lord ,lovelace1 at the head of a troop of bodkined fops1 worshiped in vain4 ,the noblest of the troop1--and it reckoned the ,dukes of ,devonshire and ,dorset1 the ,earl of ,halifax1 and half-a-dozen delegates from each rank of the peerage among its members1--were wont1 at the coffee-house1 and over a bottle1 to extol the ,gibraltar-like virtue1 if ,i may so speak1 of this incomparable woman4 8,come10 said ,halifax1 8you are always praising the virtue2 why don't you reward the lady who will not sell it8 ,i propose a subscription1 and there are two hundred guineas1 pour encourager les autres40 ,four times that amount was raised1 and with it the nobles1 with their swords in their hands1 waited on ,mrs4 ,bracegirdle1 who accepted their testimonial1 as it was intended in honour of her virtue4 ,what should we think now if8 but this is a delicate matter1 and ,i might make a mistake4 ,i will only add1 therefore1 that had ,mrs4 ,bracegirdle been rewarded for her charity1 the recompense would have been1 at least1 as appropriate4 ,for it is true of her that when the poor saw her they blessed her1--and1 we may add1 she richly merited the well-earned benedictions4 ,she was1 at all events1 not quite so prudish as ,mrs4 ,rogers1 who not only objected to act any but virtuous characters1 but made a public vow of chastity1--in an epilogue1--and broke it1 out of good-nature4 ,it must be understood that the players wore swords in the streets1 and used them1 like gentlemen1 for the destruction of one another4 ,thus ,quin killed ,will ,bowen1 in #agag4 ,the former had declared that ,ben ,jonson acted ,jacomo1 in the #8,libertine1' better than ,bowen4 ,the latter pursued ,quin to a tavern1 shut the door of the room in which he found him1 placed his back against the door1 and threatened to pin ,quin to the wainscot if he did not immediately draw4 ,quin remonstrated1 but drew and kept on the defensive2 while the impetuous ,bowen so pressed upon his adversary that he actually fell upon that adversary's sword and died1 after acknowledging his own rashness4 ,quin was tried and acquitted4 ,the actors however had need to wear swords to defend themselves from their noble assailants4 ,the latter used to crowd between the side-scenes1 and often interrupt the performance by crossing the stage and conversing aloud with one another4 ,on one occasion1 at the house in ,lincoln's ,inn ,fields1 an earl1 who was said to have been drunk for six years continuously1 was guilty of this rudeness2 and ,rich1 enraged thereat1 threatened never to allow him to be admitted again1 whatever he might offer for it4 ,the ,peer replied by slapping ,rich in the face2 and ,rich returned the salute with all the vigour and rapidity that belonged to him as an accomplished harlequin4 ,the drunken lord's drunken companions immediately drew1 and solemnly devoted ,rich to death4 ,the comrades of the latter1 headed by ,ryan1 the ex-tailor1 whipped out their swords too 7some of them wore them with their court suits in ,macbeth71 charged the nobles1 and after a bloody mle drove them into the streets4 ,the illustrious drunkards1 brandishing their weapons1 attacked the front of the house1 fought their way into the boxes1 proceeded to destroy the interior adornments1 and would have set fire to the theatre but for the arrival of the 8watch10 who captured the whole of the rioters4 ,justice was both lame and blind in those days1 and the peers compromised the matter with the managers2 but ,george ,i4 was as much disgusted with the conduct of his 8noble0 subjects as a quiet scamp could be at the peccadilloes of noisy ones4 ,the only men1 not nobles1 who were as great nuisances with their swords1 were the ,darby ,captains4 ,these were old 8half-pays0 or penniless 8disbanded10 who used to pitch their tent at ,derby's ,coffee-house in ,covent-garden1 and who were sanguinary in their cups4 ,the 8,h4 ,p4's0 who now meet in ,ryder-street have little idea of the truculency of their predecessors1 who most did congregate at the hostelrie whence they derived their name1 and some pretenders their rank4 ,i have alluded to the proclamation against swords in #agbd4 ,it appears to have been made in vain1 for in #agee ,i find the aristocrats still ruling the theatre by power of naked weapons and impudence4 ,garrick received from them this questionable support when he brought out the #8,chinese ,festival1' with ,noverre and other foreign dancers from the neighbourhood of 8,zurich's fair waters40 ,a war with ,france had just broken out1 and the mob were like ,foote's patriot gingerbread-maker in the ,borough1 who would not tolerate three dancers from ,switzerland because he hated the ,french4 ,the ochlocracy hissed2 the aristocracy drew their swords to silence the villains2 the latter welcomed the battle1 and they not only damaged the theatre and many illustrious heads1 but they pretty nearly destroyed ,garrick's own private residence4 ,roscius lost nearly #djjj in this quarrel1 wherein swords were drawn and blood spilt that was of no value to the manager2 and the present ,mr4 ,noverre1 of ,norwich 7,i believe71 can hardly make even a faint guess of the dire storm which greeted his great-grandsire when he first cut an entrechat on the boards of ,old ,drury4 ,but actors had bloody frays of their own1 and that too among the gentler part of the profession4 ,one ,i may mention1 as it is connected with a matter of dress4 ,the charming ,george ,anne ,bellamy had procured from ,paris two gorgeous dresses1 wherein to enact ,statira in the #8,rival ,queens4' ,roxana was played by ,peg ,woffington2 and she was so overcome with malice1 hatred1 and all uncharitableness1 when she saw herself eclipsed by the dazzling glories of the resplendent ,bellamy1 that ,peg at length attempted to drive her off the stage1 and with upheld dagger had wellnigh stabbed her at the side-scenes4 ,alexander and a posse of chiefs with hard names were at hand1 but the less brilliantly-clad ,roxana rolled ,statira and her spangled sack in the dust1 pommelling her the while with the handle of her dagger1 and screaming aloud-- 8,nor he1 nor ,heaven1 shall shield thee from my justice2 ,die1 sorceress1 die6 and all my wrongs die with thee60 ,poor ,madge6 ,not many weeks afterwards she was playing ,rosalind1 when she was1 at the age of forty-four1 struck with the fit that slowly conducted her to the grave4 ,her last words were1 8,if ,i were among you1 ,i would kiss as many of you as had beards that pleased me40 ,the stroke followed1 then a scream1 and she who had charmed multitudes was for ever charmless4 ,i will only add here that it is said of ,o',brien1 of whom ,i have spoken elsewhere as having married an earl's daughter1 that 8in the drawing of his sword he threw all other performers at a wonderful distance by his swiftness1 grace1 and superior elegance40 ,but ,o',brien was the son of a fencing-master1 and his brother actors were as jealous of him as ,pepys of his friend ,pen1 as illustrated by the entry which says 7,may1 #affb71 8,walked with my wife to my brother ,tom's2 our boy waiting on us with his sword1 which this day he begins to wear1 to outdo ,sir ,w4 ,pen's boy40 ,from which it would appear that gentlemen and footmen once had fashions1 if not vices1 in common2 and that our ancestors1 with regard to pride1 were as great fools as ourselves2 and that is eminently1 nay1 pre-eminently consoling4 ,the players were not scared from using swords as well as displaying them4 ,when ,garrick played ,bayes in the #8,rehearsal1' in #agda-b1 he gave imitations of ,hall1 ,delaney1 ,ryan 7the ex-tailor71 ,bridgewater1 and of ,gifford4 ,the first four bore the ridicule better than ,roscius would have endured the like of himself2 but ,gifford was so dreadfully enraged at the liberty taken with him that he sent ,davy a challenge1 and the two mimes fought until ,gifford1 whipping his rapier through the fleshy part of ,garrick's arm1 laid him up for a fortnight1 and cured him of mere mimicry4 ,i have noticed above how ,peg ,woffington1 with her pointed dagger1 punched the ribs of the exquisite ,bellamy2 a similar1 but more disagreeable sort of excitement1 once seized on ,woodward1 the old pupil of ,merchant ,tailors'1 who had turned actor4 ,he was playing ,petruchio to ,kitty ,clive's ,catherine1 when1 borne away by his towering rage1 he not only threw the lady down1 but ran a fork into her finger2 and as he had no love for ,kitty1 it is said that there was more design than accident in the matter4 ,but this ,i do not believe4 ,more credit1 ,i fancy1 is to be attached to the story which says1 that when ,pasta played ,otello to ,sontag's ,desdemona1 the former was so excited by the superabundant applause gained by her rival1 that in the killing scene ,otello twisted a strong hand into ,desdemona's luxuriant hair1 and gave it a series of such hearty tugs1 that the gentle lady1 married to the ,moor1 screamed with all her might1 au naturel6 ,when the most pleasant and reasonable of ,popes was ,legate at ,bologna1 a circumstance connected with swords came under his observation4 ,two senators had fallen into a deadly quarrel touching the pre-eminence of ,tasso and ,ariosto4 ,a duel ensued1 in which the champion of ,ariosto was mortally wounded4 ,the future ,pope visited the dying man1 whose sole observation to his visitor's religious injunctions was--8,what an ass ,i am1 to get run through the body in the very flower of my age1 for the sake of ,ariosto1 of whom ,i have never read a line40 8,but--0 interrupted the priest4 8,and if10 exclaimed the dying man1 not heeding the interruption1 8if ,i had read him1 ,i should not have understood him2 for ,i am but a fool at the best of times40 ,benedict himself had a respect for swordsmen2 and it was said of him and that other pleasant fellow1 his contemporary1 the ,sultan ,mahmoud1 that if they were made to change places1 the ,holy ,father becoming ,grand ,seigneur1 and the ,sultan becoming ,pope1 nobody would be sensible of any consequent difference2 except1 perhaps1 the most intimate portion of the ,sultan's household4 ,benedict was1 at all events1 wiser than that celebrated ,capuchin1 who1 preaching repentance to a party about to resort to the arbitration of the sword1 exclaimed1 8,brethren1 admire and bless ,divine ,providence1 who has placed death at the close of life1 in order that we might have the more time to be prepared for it40 ,this confusion of ideas reminds me of that which existed in the mind of the soldier who remarked1 that people nowadays did not live to such a lengthened age as when he was young4 8,not that there are not old people now10 said he1 8but then they were born a very long time ago60 ,finally1 let me conclude the subject of swords with something better worth remembering than mere gossip4 ,toledo1 ,damascus1 and ,milan have been especially renowned for the excellence of the swords manufactured in those respective places4 ,the quality of the ,spanish blade is said to have been given it by the cunning of ,arab workmen2 but the fact is1 that ,spanish blades were famous for their power of letting daylight into the soul's tabernacle as early as the old ,roman time4 ,when the first ,csar was master of the empire1 ,iberian tailors 7and ladies7 worked only with ,toledo needles2 while ,iberian officers and gentlemen 7for the characters were distinct in those heathen times3 as for the matter of that1 they sometimes are now7 fought only with ,toledo blades4 ,virgil alludes to the excellence of the ,spanish steel in his first ,georgic3 8,at ,chalybes nudi ferrum 7mittunt740 ,justin says the ,chalybes were ,spaniards2 and the nudi1 no doubt1 refers to the fashion in which they worked at the forge4 ,dryden translates the line--8,and naked ,spaniards temper steel for war40 ,further1 ,diodorus ,siculus states1 8that the ,celtiberians so tempered their steel1 that no helmet could resist the stroke of the sword40 ,the temper of the ,damascus blade was of another sort4 ,it was so fine that the sword passed through the lightest object floating in the air4 ,the merits of the two methods will be found admirably illustrated in ,scott's story of #8,the ,talisman4' ,the ,english blade1 ,i am sorry to say1 has never been famous for excellence of temper4 ,some two centuries ago1 an attempt was made to improve the home-manufactured sword1 by incorporating a company of sword-cutlers for making hollow sword-blades1 in ,cumberland and the adjacent counties4 ,the project failed1 owing to the parsimony of the principals and the ignorance of the workmen4 ,during the greater portion of the last century1 our sword-blades were 8regular bricks10 quite as blunt1 but not half so dangerous4 ,an ,english officer was as safe with one in his hand as if he had bought it at a toyshop2 but he never met the enemy with a native-manufactured weapon4 ,this state of things1 and a mixed idea of profit and patriotism1 fired ,mr4 ,gill of ,birmingham into experiments which became realities2 and the ,english weapon was turned out as well calculated to help its wearer to cut through the sixth commandment as any foreign blade of them all4 ,a sword is only perfectly tempered at a heat of #eej ,fahrenheit4 ,the testing is by means of a process of bending and twisting almost torturing to read of4 ,i only wish that all monarchs who unjustly draw the sword1 were first subjected to the tempering and testing which the weapon itself undergoes4 ,could such a course have been applied to that miscreant ,nicholas1 what a relief it would have been to the world6 ,an exposure1 during ten minutes in an oven1 to a heat of #eej1 would have been followed by uncomplaining acquiescence on the part of the ,czar2 and there would not have been added to his account so many murders as those for which1 as ,heaven is just as well as merciful1 he will be held responsible1 at the tribunal which that gigantic criminal can not avoid4 ,the sword was grasped by hand1 or mailed or gloved2 and to the question of gloves we will now direct attention4 ,,gloves1 ,b,s1 ,,and ,,buttons4 8,he said he had his gloves from ,france2 ,the ,queen said1 #8,that can't be2 ,if you go there for glove-making1 ,it is without the g4'0--,,fair ,,rosamond4 ,the elder ,d',israeli1 in his sketch on the history of gloves1 sets out by observing1 that in the #ajhth ,psalm1 where the royal prophet declares he will cast his shoe over ,edom1 and in ,ruth iv4 #g1 where the custom is noticed of a man taking off his shoe and giving it to a neighbour1 as a pledge for redeeming or exchanging anything1 the word shoe may in the latter1 if not in both cases1 mean glove4 ,he adds1 that ,casaubon is of opinion that gloves were worn by the ,chaldeans2 and that in the ,chaldee paraphrase of the book of ,ruth1 the word which we render as shoe or sandal1 is explained in the ,talmud lexicon as 8the clothing of the hand40 ,here is a sad confusion of hands and feet1 as much so as in the celebrated observation by ,mrs4 ,ramsbottom1 that she 8had had a great deal of walking on her hands1 lately40 ,the flinging down of a sandal upon a territory was a symbol of occupancy or possession4 8,upon the land of ,edom do ,i cast my shoe0 7sandal71 says the ,psalmist1 in the #ith ,psalm4 ,and this was a symbol of slavery to the ,edomites1 for to loose the sandal was the office of a slave2 and in ,egypt1 especially1 we find paintings of slaves who are carrying their master's sandals4 ,on the sole of the latter was sometimes represented a captive1 whom the wearer had the pleasure of thus pictorially treading underfoot4 ,when an old shoe is thrown after a newly married couple1 it does not so much imply that they have probably been put in possession of felicity1 as that they have certainly lost their liberty4 ,xenophon remarks that the ,persians wore coarse clothes1 fought bareheaded1 and never required pocket-handkerchiefs4 ,he laughs at them however for using gloves1 and for effeminately covering their heads1 when the latter might best dispense with the protection4 ,laertes1 the ,greek1 wore gloves when he was gardening1 in order to protect his fingers from the thorns2--and this shows that young ,greek noblemen1 in remote times1 could occupy themselves usefully and innocently4 ,our youths1 with much time1 heavy purses1 and a lordship of self1 would find considerable profit in 8putting on the gloves0 for no worse purposes4 ,gloves were not common among the ,romans1 but they were not entirely unknown4 ,varro says that to pluck olives without them was to spoil the olive2 and ,athenus tells of a glutton who used to dine out in gloves1 and so be enabled to dispose of the hot things quicker than the guests who were less prepared for the handling them4 ,the fashion of gloves made its way however in ,rome1 in spite of the philosophers who affected to despise comfort1 and did assuredly decline cleanliness4 ,they were worn1 for instance1 by the secretary of the elder ,pliny4 ,the mode seems to have been adopted in some excess by the monks1 until a decree of the ,council of ,aix ordered that they should wear none but gloves of sheep-skin4 ,had they turned their cilices into gloves1 and made flesh-brushes of them1 it would have been more profitable to themselves1 and to all who stood near them4 ,in ,france1 the use of gloves was allowed only to bishops4 ,they were sometimes used in great formalities of the 8,church10 and indeed of the ,state also2 for bishops received investiture by presentation of a glove1 and kings were not half crowned who did not receive a pair1 with an episcopal blessing to enhance the gift4 ,among the early ,english1 the ,anglo-,saxons1 we find that ladies1 before they knew the use of the glove1 or applied their knowledge to its most convenient conclusion1 had the ends of their mantles shaped into gloves1 and these were worn over the hand1 under the name of mufflers4 ,gloves were worn by females before the ,reformation1 despite what ,gough says to the contrary4 ,a dishonoured knight was deprived not only of his spurs1 but of his gloves also4 ,it was right that the symbol for or gage of battle should be taken from him whose office it had been to carry arms1 but who was no longer accounted as worthy of wielding them4 ,in ,germany1 he who entered a prince's stables1 or was present at the killing of a stag1 without taking off his gloves1 had to pay his footing or fine2 in the first case to the grooms1 in the second to the huntsmen1--and for this reason1 because they could not mingle among grooms and huntsmen1 and yet retain their dignity 7asserted by keeping on the glove71 without paying for it4 ,gloves are distributed at funerals1--perhaps originally as a challenge from the doctor1 defying all who shall dare say that he had committed murder contrary to the rules of art4 ,but they were acceptable presents on other occasions2 and when gloves were rare1 and ,james ,i4 and ,elizabeth gave those rich and rare articles as gifts to various members of the ,denny family1 no doubt the fingers of the latter felt the honour deeply4 ,when these gloves were sold1 some two centuries and a half later1 a single pair fetched a price for which a man with judgment and taste might purchase a select library4 ,one of this family1 ,sir ,william ,denny himself1 contributed a remarkable poetical work to the libraries of #afec1 namely1 the #8,pelecanicidium1 or the ,christian ,adviser against ,self-murder2 together with a ,guide1 and a ,pilgrim's ,pass to the ,land of the ,living4' ,in the preface he says1 8,mine ears do tingle to hear so many sad relations1 as ever since ,march last1 concerning several persons1 of divers rank and quality1 inhabiting within and about so eminent a city as late-famed ,london1 that have made away and murdered themselves40 ,in ,england gloves came in about the time the ,heptarchy went out4 ,the exact period is not known2 but we do know that when a society of ,german merchants sought protection for the trade which they carried on between their own country and ,england1 they propitiated ,king ,ethelred ,,ii4 by presenting him with five pairs of gloves3 their not being able to muster the half-dozen shows the rarity of the article4 ,in the case mentioned the gloves were probably not so much a gift or bribe1 as a portion of duty paid in kind4 ,prior to this period the hands of both sexes were covered1 as ,i before observed1 by the mantles2 and some persons with rapidly progressing ideas1 had donned an imperfect structure which presented a stall for the thumb1 and a sort of stocking-foot for the rest of the fingers4 ,they were like the mufflers which we place on the digits of young ,england2 and when ,mrs4 ,ramsbottom made the observation ,i quoted in the first paragraph1 of 8having had much walking on her hands lately10 she may have had these very mufflers in her eye4 ,gloves soon became fashionable among the higher classes2 at least1 ,ordericus ,vitalis tells us that when the ,bishop of ,durham escaped from the ,tower1 during the reign of ,henry ,i41 he had to slide down a rope2 and as the bishop1 in his hurry1 had 8forgotten his gloves10 he rubbed the skin off his hands to the bone1 in descending from the window4 ,duke ,charles of ,guise1 when he escaped in a similar manner1 from the ,chteau at ,tours1 in the days of ,henri ,,iii41 had better fortune2 he descended more leisurely than the bishop1 being lighter1 and with no further detriment than a rent in his hose4 ,long before the period referred to by ,ordericus1 the ,french monks were the authorized glove-makers4 ,they especially loved hunting1 but respectability required that they should not love the sport merely for the sport's sake4 ,accordingly1 ,charlemagne granted to the monks of ,sithin especially1 unlimited right of hunting1 because of the skins of the deer killed by them they made gloves and girdles1 and covers for books4 ,i have before noticed1 that by a subsequent decree of the ,council of ,aix1 in the time of ,louis le ,dbonnaire1 monks were forbidden to wear any gloves but those made of sheep-skin4 ,gloves were popular new-year's gifts1 or sometimes 8glove-money0 in place of them2 occasionally1 these gloves carried gold pieces in them4 ,when ,sir ,thomas ,more was ,chancellor1 he decided a case in favour of ,mrs4 ,croaker against ,lord ,arundel2 the former1 on the following new-year's day1 gratefully presented the judge with a pair of gloves with forty angels in them4 8,it would be against good manners10 said the ,chancellor1 8to forsake a gentlewoman's new-year's gift1 and ,i accept the gloves4 ,the lining you will elsewhere bestow40 ,it will be remembered that ,st4 ,gudule had the faculty of being able1 when her candle was extinguished1 to blow it in again4 ,many among us enjoy the same faculty1 and schoolboys often practise the miracle1--the only one ever performed by ,st4 ,gudule4 ,it is said however that when the saint prayed1 barefooted1 in church1 the attendant priest1 moved by compassion1 put his gloves under her feet4 ,they immediately rose1 and hung in the air for a whole hour2--but what that proves1 ,i really do not know4 ,but we have had gloves suspended in our own churches4 ,when ,bernard ,gilpin was preaching in the ,north of ,england1 he observed1 on entering one of the churches there1 a glove suspended from the roof2 and having learned that it was a challenge placed there by a ,borderer1 in defiance of some other ,borderer1 he tore it down1 to the great disgust of the sexton1 who had a respect for established usages1 even though the devil had invented them4 ,good ,bernard ,gilpin gave a challenge of his own from the pulpit3 he flung down the ,gospel before the rather angry people1 who were highly civilized1 and therefore averse to innovation2 and he told them so defiantly of the difficulties in the way of their salvation1 that they determined to surmount them and became a ,christian people2 and that1 under correction1 is a better glove1 and a greater miracle1 than those of ,st4 ,gudule4 ,i have spoken1 in another page1 of our old ,english custom of kissing4 ,it is one which is not likely to decay4 ,we still kiss persons caught napping1--that is1 if they be worth the kissing1--and exact as forfeit the price of a new pair of gloves4 ,in old days1 he who first saw the new moon could1 by kissing a maiden1 and proclaiming the fact1--that is1 the lunar fact1--claim a pair of gloves for his service4 ,the ,persian habit was to kiss only relatives1 which must have been highly proper1 but uncommonly insipid1--a perfect waste of good things1 except among cousins4 ,our ,queen ,elizabeth was a wearer of gloves that are said to have been of a very costly description4 ,shakspeare was once acting in her presence the part of a king--one of his own making2 and so careful was he of the illusion of the scene1 that he forgot all other things beside4 ,the ,virgin ,queen resolved to put him to the proof2 and as the mimic king passed before her1 she dropped one of her gloves4 ,shakspeare1 faithful subject as well as actor1 immediately paused1 and with the words that1 8although bent on this high embassy1 yet stoop we to pick up our cousin's glove10 he presented it to the real queen1 and then passed on4 ,this anecdote is often cited to prove that nothing could induce the poet-actor to depart from the business of the stage2 and it proves exactly the contrary2 but as an illustration of gloves ,i have found it handy to my purpose4 ,elizabeth treated ,clifford1 ,earl of ,cumberland1 more generously than she did ,shakspeare4 ,the ,queen gave him her glove1 which1 she having dropped it1 he had picked up to return to her4 ,he immediately adorned it with jewels1 and placed it in his cap1 where he displayed it at all jousts and tournaments4 ,chivalrous gentlemen at ,donnybrook ,fair follow something of this fashion when they draw a chalk line round their hat1 and knock down every one bold enough to declare that it is not silver lace4 ,elizabeth1 ,i may add1 received as well as gave gloves4 ,the first embroidered pair ever worn in ,england were presented to her by ,vere1 ,earl of ,oxford1 when he returned from a mission abroad4 ,the ,queen had her portrait taken with the gloves introduced4 ,and speaking of embassies1 recalls to my memory another story connected with gloves and legations4 ,ambassadors' effects are passed without examination1--not by law1 but out of courtesy4 ,this courtesy has made smuggleresses of many an envoy's wife2 of none more than of a ,french ,ambassadress1 not very many years ago1 in ,england4 ,she used to import huge cases of gloves under the name of 8despatches10 and these she condescended to sell to ,english ladies who were mean enough to buy them4 ,but the custom-house officers became tired of being accomplices in this contraband trade1 and they put a stop to it by a very ingenious contrivance4 ,having duly ascertained that a case directed to the ,embassy contained nothing but ladies' gloves1 they affected to treat it as a letter which had been sent through the ,customs by mistake1 and which they made over to the ,post-office4 ,the authorities of the latter delivered the same in due course2 the postage-fee of something like #bej was paid without a remark2 and the ,ambassadress stopped all further correspondence of that sort by declining to deal any longer in gloves4 ,but even the ,customs get defeated occasionally1 in spite of their cleverness4 ,some years ago a celebrated exporter of contraband goods1 residing at ,calais1 sent on the same day1 to two different parts of ,england1 two cases of gloves1 one containing gloves only for the right1 the other case1 gloves only for the left hand4 ,the 8left hands0 got safely to their destination1 but the 8rights0 were seized4 ,the ,customs however could find no purchaser at the usual sales for single gloves1 but they were at last bought by an individual at the rate of a penny a dozen2 this individual happened to be the possessor of the other single gloves1 and he reaped a rich profit by the trick over the fair and honest dealer4 ,this was a more successful trick with the gloves than that practised by the lady who1 flinging her pretty gauntlet on to the arena where some wild beasts were struggling1 bade her knight descend and bring it back to her4 ,the cavalier accomplished the task1 but he smote the cruel damsel in the face with the glove ere he threw it at her feet2 and1 turning on his heel1 he left her for ever4 ,she of course lived on in single sullenness2 and ,i warrant that she never saw white gloves and a wedding without a twinge at her heart4 ,the late ,duke of ,orlans was once almost as unlucky as this lady1 and all through a glove4 ,he was visiting some of the wounded of ,antwerp in a hospital near the scene of conflict4 ,he spoke kindly to all1 and he shook hands with several2 but one of those he so honoured bluntly remarked1 that when the ,emperor shook hands with the wounded he first drew off his gloves4 ,the ,duke as much offended contra bonos mores by keeping his gloves on1 as an old-fashioned naval captain once did by keeping them off4 ,the marine hero in question had stood up to go through a country-dance with a very fine lady1 who was shocked to observe that his huge and warm hands were not covered according to etiquette4 8,captain10 said his fair partner1 8you are perhaps not aware that you have not got your gloves on40 8,oh1 never mind1 ,ma'am60 answered the commander1 8never mind2 ,i can wash my hands when we've done60 ,the gallant sailor was not as wide-awake to the advantages of opportunity for gallantry on the question of gloves as ,yorick was when the grave gentleman flirted with the ,calais grisette4 ,he was no descendant--albeit his name was ,harley--of that ,earl of ,oxford ,i have just named1 who once presented ,elizabeth with a pair of gloves1 ornamented with four tufts of rose-coloured silk1 so deliciously scented1 that she called the scent 8,lord ,oxford's perfume40 ,london1 ,ludlow1 and ,leominster1 ,worcester1 ,woodstock1 and ,yeovil1 are the great seats of the leather-glove manufacture in ,england4 ,the ,worcester district alone supplies six million pairs annually1 and all1 or nearly all1 made by hand4 ,derby contributes silk gloves2 the worsted come from ,leicester2 and ,nottingham furnishes us with cotton gloves4 ,in addition to these1 we yearly import between three and four million pairs of leather gloves from ,france4 ,the export of home-made gloves is very small1--not large enough to keep warm the fingers of the little republic of ,san ,marino4 ,but a man1 to be well dressed1 must don something besides hat and gloves4 ,i will not put one part of the necessary addition under a separate head2 nor indeed will ,i mention its name1 save in an anecdote4 ,i will simply1 by way of introduction1 quote two salient sayings uttered by ,french moralists on the article in question4 ,the first is to the admonitory effect that 8 la femme altire1 mchante1 imprieuse1 on est tent d'offrir une culotte40 ,the second is still more salubrious of character1 and observance of it will prove highly efficacious4 8,une femme qui porte les culottes10 says a melancholy and married philosopher1 8ne peut marcher longtemps sans tomber40 ,and now to my promised anecdotes4 ,a gentleman once said1 in defence of ,shakspeare1 that his vulgar characters1 though low1 were natural4 ,voltaire1 to whom this was said1 observed the advantage to be derived from such an assertion by one who1 like himself1 hated ,shakspeare3--8,avec permission1 mon derrire est bien dans la nature1 et cependant je porte culotte40 ,this illustration reminds me of a stage pair of breeches1 which1 some eighty years ago1 had wellnigh killed that fair and fairly-reputable actress1 ,miss ,maria ,macklin4 ,she was famous for her male characters1 and for her taste in dressing them2 ,dejazet has not a better taste in this respect4 ,but ,miss ,macklin unfortunately had not only worn the male garment repeatedly1 but she was in the habit of buckling the garter portion of it so tightly1 that the result was a large and dangerous swelling in the knee1 which1 we are told by ,kirkman and ,cooke1 8from motives of delicacy1 she would not suffer to be examined till it had increased to an alarming size60 ,an operation however was successfully performed1 and she bore it courageously2 but she never regained her strength1 and she died the victim of false delicacy and a little vanity4 ,but1 false or not1 her delicacy was very like that of ,mary of ,burgundy1 who died in consequence of over-modesty1 in concealing an injury in the thigh1 caused by a fall from a horse4 ,mary's husband1 ,maximilian1 had his delicate scruples too1--that is1 on one point--the point of putting on a shirt1 which he would never do in the presence of a valet4 ,the idea of doing what ,louis ,,xiv4 so regularly did1--namely1 put on a shirt1 and that sometimes a rather dirty one1 in presence of a roomful of people1--would have made the modest and moneyless ,maximilian turn pale with disgust4 ,perhaps however ,maximilian hated shirts1 because they were not of ,german invention4 ,like the old gentleman in the #8,wasps' of ,aristophanes1 who1 being desired to put on a pair of ,lacedmonian boots1 excuses himself on the plea that one of his toes is --altogether hostile to the ,lacedmonians2 a bit of wit1 by the way1 which honest ,sheridan has fitted on to the character of ,acres1 who hates ,french dancing terms for the reason that his feet don't understand pas this and pas that2 and that he decidedly has most 8,anti-,gallican toes40 ,this expression is decidedly a plagiarism from the admirable low-comedy scene in the #8,wasps1' where good ,master ,bdelycleon so daintily dresses his father ,philocleon1 the ,athenian ,dicast1 and gallantly compliments him at last1 by comparing him to 8a boil covered with garlic40 ,the ,aristophanic incident recalls to my memory one of a somewhat similar quality1 which really occurred some years ago at ,gosport4 ,mr4 ,joseph ,gilbert1 who had been attached to the astronomical service in ,captain ,cook's expedition to observe the transit of ,venus1 and whose name was conferred by the great navigator on 8,gilbert's ,island10 resided at ,gosport2 where1 according to the fashion of the day1 he1 like the ,count d',artois1 wore very tight leather breeches4 ,he had ordered his tailor to attend on him one morning1 when his granddaughter1 who resided with him1 had also ordered her shoemaker to wait upon her4 ,the young lady was seated in the breakfast-room1 when the maker of leather breeches was shown in2 and1 as she did not happen to know one handicraftsman more than the other1 she at once intimated that she wished him to measure her for a pair of 8leathers10 for1 as she remarked1 the wet weather was coming1 and she felt cold in 8cloth40 ,the modest tailor could hardly believe his ears4 8,measure you1 ,miss80 said he with hesitation4 8,if you please10 said the young lady1 who was remarkable for much gravity of deportment2 8and ,i have only to beg that you will give me plenty of room1 for ,i am a great walker1 and ,i do not like to wear anything that constrains me40 8,but1 ,miss10 exclaimed the poor fellow in great perplexity1 8,i never in my life measured a lady2 ,i0 and there he paused4 8,are you not a lady's shoemaker80 was the query calmly put to him4 8,by no means1 ,miss10 said he2 8,i am a leather-breeches maker1 and ,i have come to take measure not of you1 but ,mr4 ,gilbert40 ,the young lady became perplexed too1 but she recovered her self-possession after a good common-sense laugh1 and sent the maker of breeches to her grandpapa4 ,rosemary-lane was not only of old1 and under its name of ,rag ,fair1 a great mart for cast-off garments1 but especially1 by some freak of ochlocratic fashion1 for breeches4 ,it has had the honour of being noticed by ,pope as 8a place near the ,tower of ,london1 where old clothes and frippery are sold20 and1 says ,pennant1 8the articles of commerce by no means belie the name4 ,there is no expressing the poverty of the goods1 nor yet their cheapness4 ,a distinguished merchant1 engaged with a purchaser1 observing me to look on him with great attention1 called out to me1 as his customer was going off with his bargain1 to observe that man1 #8for1' says he1 #8,i have actually clothed him for fourteen pence4'0 ,and in the #8,public ,advertiser' for ,february #ad1 #agef1 we read1 as an incident of the locality 8where wave the tattered ensigns of ,rag ,fair10 that 8,thursday last one ,mary ,jenkins1 who deals in old clothes in ,rag ,fair1 sold a pair of breeches to an old woman for sevenpence and a pint of beer4 ,whilst they were drinking it in a public-house1 the purchaser1 in unripping the breeches1 found quilted in the waistband eleven guineas in gold1 ,queen ,anne's coin1 and a thirty-pound banknote1 dated in #agbi1 which last she did not know the value of till after she sold it for a gallon of twopenny purl40 ,to go a little further back1 ,i may say that the ,reformation had other results besides those usually recorded2 thus that great event was no sooner accomplished than the brokers and sellers of old apparel took up their residence in ,hounsditch1 where their great enemy1 the ,spanish ,ambassador1 had previously had a residence4 ,their locality was then 8a fair field1 sometime belonging to the ,priory of the ,holy ,trinity1 at ,aldgate40 8,where gott'st thou this coat1 ,i mar'le10 says ,wellbred to ,brainworm1 in ,jonson's #8,every ,man in his ,humour4' 8,of a ,houndsditch man1 ,sir10 answers ,brainworm2 8one of the devil's near kinsmen1 a broker40 ,we have another portion of dress whose origin dates from a serious personage and from eventful times4 ,i allude to that terror of gentlemen who do not possess that which frogs and properly-built men alone possess in common1--namely1 calves2--,i allude1 ,i say1 to 8pantaloons40 ,this tight-fitting garment was once part of the official costume of the great standard-bearer of the ,venetian ,republic4 ,he carried on his banner the ,lion of ,st4 ,mark1 and he was the ,piantaleone1 or ,planter of the ,lion1 around whose glorious flag and tightly-encased legs the battle ever raged with greatest fury1 and where victory was most hotly contended for4 ,the tight parti-coloured legs of the tall ,piantaleone were the rallying points of the ,venetians4 ,where his thighs were upright1 the banner was sure to be floating in defiance or triumph over them2 and ,venice may be said to have stood upon the legs of her ,pantaloons4 ,he who once saved states was subsequently represented as the most thoroughly battered imbecile of a pantomime4 ,but therein was a political revenge4 ,harlequin1 ,clown1 and ,columbine represented different states of ,italy1 whose delight it was to pillory ,venice by beating her nightly under the guise of the old buffoon 8,signor ,pantaloon40 ,the dress has survived the memory of this fact1 though the dress too is almost obsolete4 ,in the last paragraph there is the phrase 8,i say0 interpolated1 the use of which reminds me of a tailor-like comment made upon it4 ,erskine writing to ,boswell1 or ,boswell to ,erskine1 ,i forget now which1 remarks that 8a sentence so clumsily worded as to require an #8,i say' to keep it together1 very much resembles1 in my candid opinion1 a pair of ill-mended breeches40 ,the article of bracc is suggestive of buttons2 and touching these1 ,i may observe that there is a curious law extant with regard to them4 ,it is1 by ,acts of ,parliament passed in three reigns1--,william ,,iii41 ,anne1 and ,george ,i41--perfectly illegal for tailor to make1 or mortal man to wear1 clothes with any other buttons appended thereto but buttons of brass4 ,this law is in force for the benefit of the ,birmingham makers2 and it further enacts1 not only that he who makes or sells garments with any but brass buttons thereto affixed1 shall pay a penalty of forty shillings for every dozen1 but that he shall not be able to recover the price he claims1 if the wearer thinks proper to resist payment4 ,nor is the ,act a dead letter4 ,it is not many weeks since1 that honest ,mr4 ,shirley sued plain ,mr4 ,king for nine pounds sterling1 due for a suit of clothes4 ,king pleaded non-liability on the ground of an illegal transaction1 the buttons on the garment supplied having been made of cloth1 or bone covered with cloth1 instead of gay and glittering brass1 as the law directs4 ,the judge allowed the plea2 and the defendant having thus gained a double suit without cost1 immediately proceeded against the defendant to recover his share of the forty shillings for every dozen buttons which the poor tailor had unwittingly supplied4 ,a remarkable feature in the case was1 that the judge who admitted the plea1 the barrister who set it up1 and the client who profited by it1 were themselves all buttoned contrary to law6 ,if ,i were writing an ,encyclopdia of ,trades1 ,i would be as elaborate as ,dryasdust on the manufacture of buttons of all sorts of metal1 more or less costly2 of wood1 bone1 ivory1 horn1 leather1 paper1 glass1 silk1 wool1 cotton1 linen1 thread1 flock1 compressed clay1 etc4 etc4--so that both my readers and myself have a lucky escape4 ,as the age however is statistical in its inclinations1 ,i will save my credit by remarking that at ,birmingham1 the chief seat of button-manufacture1 there are not less than five thousand persons engaged in the manufacture of buttons1 and that half this number consists of women1 and children4 ,having said this1 ,i turn to a new chapter1 wherein there will be something more of statistics1 and something new about stockings4 ,,stockings4 8,troth1 ,master ,inkpen1 thou hast put thy foot ,into a pretty subject40--,,old ,,play4 ,when the old trunkhose was found to fray the sacred epidermis of ,christian kings and queens1 the first fruits of a remedial discovery were presented for the benefit of the illustrious sufferers4 ,thus we hear that when stockings were first known in ,europe1 a ,spanish grandee manifested his loyalty and love for his ,queen1 by presenting a pair to the ,prime ,minister1 with a request that that official would place them at1 if not on1 the feet of his sovereign lady4 ,the ,minister was shocked at the grandee's assurance and lack of modesty4 8,take back thy stockings10 said he1 8and name the thing not again2 for know1 ,o foolish ,sir ,duke1 that the ,queen of ,spain has no legs60 ,our ,henry ,,iii41 less nice with regard to his own sister the ,princess ,isabella1 did not scruple to present her with a pair of stockings of cloth1 embroidered with gold4 ,these cloth hose went out of fashion in the reign of ,elizabeth4 ,her silk-woman1 ,montague1 had presented her ,majesty with a pair of black knit silk stockings2 and these were so pleasant to the legs of 8,england10 that her ,majesty discarded hot cloth for ever4 ,she found double comfort in the first2 namely1 to herself1 and further comfort that by adopting them she was encouraging a home-made article4 ,the first pair of ,english-knit worsted stockings were worn by ,elizabeth's ,peer1 8proud ,pembroke40 ,they had been imitated from an ,italian knit pair by ,william ,rider1 apprentice to ,thomas ,burdett1 at the ,bridge foot1 opposite ,st4 ,magnus' ,church2 and their presentation to ,pembroke was1 doubtless1 profitable to the apprentice4 ,disappointed love has been the cause of various dire effects1 but ,i do not know that it ever caused effect so singular as when it invented a stocking-frame4 ,this too was in ,elizabeth's time4 ,in those golden days1 ,will ,lee1 of ,woodborough1 in ,norfolk1 was a student at ,cambridge2 somewhat given to maidens as well as to mathematics1 but not so utterly wasting his time with the former pleasant trifles but that he found both learning and leisure to achieve an ,m4,a4 degree1 and obtain a ,fellowship4 ,master ,lee was especially addicted to talk agreeable nonsense to an honest lass in the town1 who gained her living1 and increased the smiles on her pretty face1 by knitting stockings1 to her very great profit4 ,now this ,cambridge damsel did not care the value of a dropped stitch for such love as rich ,will ,lee brought her at sundown every coming eve2 and she told him as much4 8,ay1 marry60 said the vindictive lover1 8then thou shalt rue thy words and thy contempt40--8,marry scenteth of ,rome10 said the orthodox knitter2 8and thou art as false in love as in faith40 ,master ,lee however was a 8fellow0 who was true to his word4 ,he was piqued at being rejected1--he1 a gentleman1 by a pert knitter of stockings2 and he took but a base way of revenging his pique4 ,he had sat knitting his brow in vain1 when all at once the thought struck him that he would knit stockings too1 and that by a process which should ruin the poor damsel1 who1 poor as she was1 despised an unworthy gentleman and scholar4 ,thereupon he actually invented and set up the stocking-frame4 ,he first worked at it himself1 and then taught his squire-brothers1 and his gentle relations2 and finally he opened a manufactory at ,calverton in ,nottinghamshire1 and made stockings for the ,maiden ,queen4 ,all the hand-knitters were in despair1 and they left no means untried to bring the new invention into disrepute4 ,nor did they try in vain1 for ,will ,lee was driven out of ,england by the force of the coalition against him4 ,he set up his frames at ,rouen1 and drove a 8roaring trade0 there1 which was however interrupted by the confusion which followed upon the assassination of ,henri ,,iv42 and the inventor of the stocking-frame ultimately died at ,paris1 poorer than the humble knitting-maiden whom he tried to ruin in two ways1 and failed in both4 ,and a double moral may be drawn upon this story as neatly as two stockings upon a pair of becoming legs4 ,swains too lightly given of phrase in honest maidens' ears may reflect1 as they pull on their hose1 that treachery1 as in the case of ,will ,lee1 brought that gentlemanly knave to want even a foot to the stockings he had made at his own frame4 ,maidens1 on the other hand1 may as profitably reflect1 when similarly engaged1 that they had better knit stockings than lend ear to the wicked words of a fool2 and that if once a hole be made in the stocking of their reputation1 the most skilful darning will hardly repair1 and can never conceal1 the permanent injury4 ,and propos of darning1 though it be not at all so to the above story1 ,shuter was one day reproached by a brother actor that he had a hole in his stocking1 and the friend advised inimitable ,ned to have it darned4 8,i will not be such an ass10 exclaimed the original ,sir ,anthony ,absolute2 8a hole in the stocking is an accident that may happen to any gentleman1 but a darn is premeditated poverty40 ,king ,james ,i4 was willing to do what would have shocked even ,shuter1--namely1 wear borrowed stockings4 ,there is a letter extant in which that monarch asks a noble to lend him the 8scarlet hose with the gold clocks10 on a particular day on which he was desirous of giving the ,french ,ambassador 8an extraordinary idea of his magnificence60 ,this idea would never have entered the head of his great predecessor ,henry ,,viii41 of whom ,stowe1 the tailor1 says3--8,you shall understand that ,henry ,,viii4 did only wear cloth hose1 or hose cut out of ell-broad taffeta1 unless by great chance there came a pair of silk stockings from ,spain4 ,king ,edward ,,vi410 he adds1 8had a pair of ,spanish silk stockings sent him as a great present40 ,while upon these times ,i may add1 that when ,elizabeth made ,knights of the ,garter those great noblemen1 the ,duc de ,montmorenci1 and the ,lords ,burleigh1 ,chandos1 ,essex1 and ,grey of ,wilton1 the ,queen distinguished her favourite ,burleigh from the rest1 by buckling the garter about his knee herself2 and this is said to have been the first occasion on which this personal favour was conferred by the hands of a female sovereign1 and to have given rise to the exclamation1 first uttered by the offended prudes1 of 8',ods ,stars and ,garters60 ,i have read somewhere of stockings made out of the human hair1 and how the pretty conceit was adopted by lovers who were willing to entangle their legs1 as well as heart1 in their mistresses' tresses4 ,to be once more statistical and useful1 ,i have to add for your information1 that although we no longer export anything but cotton yarns1 instead of the manufactured article1 to ,saxony1 our general export is still large2 saving of silk stockings1 of which we send abroad annually only some #fj1jjj pairs4 ,two hundred and fifty thousand dozen pairs of cotton stockings go abroad annually to deck foreign legs1 and about half that amount of worsted1--the latter being generally sold by weight4 ,finally1 ,i conclude with the remarkably interesting statistical fact1 that a lady always takes off her left stocking last6 ,the possibility that this bit of statistical darning may excite a blush on susceptible cheeks1 reminds me of another fashion to which ,i will now advert1 under the title at the head of the following chapter4 ,having got down to the feet1 and shoes having been already incidentally noticed1 we will again mount upward4 8,,masks ,,and ,,faces40 8,il faut ter les masques des choses aussi bien que des personnes40--,,montaigne4 ,francis ,bacon somewhere remarks that politeness veils vice just as dress masks wrinkles4 ,perhaps this saying of his was founded on the circumstance1 that ,queen ,elizabeth not only wore dresses of increasing splendour with increasing age1 but that she also used occasionally to appear masked on great gala occasions4 ,the mode thus royally given1 was not however very speedily or generally followed4 ,the introduction of masks as a fashion appears to have 8obtained10 as old authors call it1 only about the year #affj4 ,pepys1 in #affc1 says that he went to the ,royal ,theatre1 and there saw ,howard's comedy of #8,the ,committee' 7known to us in its new form and changed name of #8,the ,honest ,thieves'74 ,he designates it as 8a merry but indifferent play1 only ,lacy's part1 an ,irish footman1 is beyond imagination40 ,among the company were ,viscount ,falkenberg1 or ,falconbridge1 with his wife1 the third daughter of ,cromwell4 8,my ,lady ,mary ,cromwell10 he goes on to say1 8looks as well as ,i have known her1 and well clad2 but when the house began to fill1 she put on her vizard1 and so kept it on all the play2 which of late is become a great fashion among the ladies1 which hides their whole face4 ,so10 he adds1--and it shows1 does that sighed-forth 8,so60 the melancholy consequence of leading wives into temptation1--8,so to the ,exchange1 to buy things1 with my wife2 among others a vizard for herself40 ,certainly that pretty precisian1 ,mary ,cromwell1 in a vizard at the play1 sounds oddly2 one would as soon expect to hear of ,mrs4 ,chisholm at a ,casino6 ,no wonder ,mrs4 ,pepys admired her6 ,but ,mrs4 ,pepys was not very long content with her ,english vizard2 for six months after we find the little man1 her husband1 recording--8,to ,covent ,garden1 to buy a maske at the ,french house1 ,madame ,charett's1 for my wife40 ,the taste of ,mrs4 ,pepys was doubtless influenced by the example of the court1 8where six women1 my ,lady ,castlemaine and ,duchess of ,monmouth being two of them1 and six men1 the ,duke of ,monmouth1 and ,lord ,arran1 and ,monsieur ,blanfort 7,lord ,feversham7 being three of them1 in vizards1 but most rich and antique dresses1 did dance admirably and most gloriously40 ,what ,pepys thought of the fashion and the time is seen again by a sighing comment--8,god give us cause to continue the mirth60 ,the fashion was still in full force in #affg2 and to what purpose it was used1 and to what purpose it might be abused1 may be seen in the following extract4 8,to the ,king's ,house to #8,the ,maid's ,tragedy1' but vexed all the while with two talking ladies and ,sir ,charles ,sedley2 yet pleased to have their discourse1 he being a stranger4 ,and one of the ladies would and did sit with her mask on through all the play2 and1 being as exceeding witty as ever ,i heard woman1 did talk most pleasantly with him2 but was1 ,i believe1 a virtuous woman1 and of quality4 ,he would fain know who she was1 but she would not tell2 yet did give him many pleasant hints of her knowledge of him1 by that means setting his brains at work to find out who she was1 and did give him leave to use all means to find out who she was but pulling off her mask4 ,he was mighty witty1 and she also making sport with him very inoffensively1 that a more pleasant rencontre ,i never heard20 and then once more a groaning commentary1--8but by that means lost the pleasure of the play wholly40 ,in the following year ,pepys makes record of his having been at ,bartholomew ,fair with his wife and a party4 ,we 8took a link10 he says1 8the women resolving to be dirty1 and walked up and down to get a coach2 and my wife being a little before me1 had like to have been taken up by one whom we saw to be ,sam ,hartlib4 ,my wife had her vizard on2 yet we cannot say that he meant any hurt2 for it was just as she was by a coach-side1 which he had1 or had a mind to take up3 and he asked her1 #8,madam1 do you go in this coach8' but as soon as he saw a man come to her 7,i know not whether he knows me7 he departed away apace40 ,by all which we may see that a vizard at a fair was evidently 8an outward and visible sign10 recognized by the rakes and gallants of the locality4 ,a vizard in the ,park1 at dusk1 was equally intelligible2 and though the men were not masked at that or any other hour1 they were at that time and place more than sufficiently disguised4 8,and now10 says ,vincent1 in ,sir ,george ,etherege's comedy of #8,love in a ,wood1 or ,st4 ,james's ,park1'--8now a man may carry a bottle under his arm1 instead of his hat1 and no observing1 spruce fop will miss the cravat that lies on one's shoulder1 or count the pimples on one's face40 ,as at park and fair1 so fell the convenient covering into evil application at the play itself4 ,the matter is alluded to by the ,widow ,blackacre in the epilogue to the #8,plain ,dealer3'-- 8,for as in ,hall of ,westminster ,sleek sempstress vends amid the ,courts her ware2 ,so while we bawl1 and you in judgement sit1 ,the visor-mask sells linen too i' the pit40 ,by the end of the seventeenth century the fashion of masks was being tarnished by vulgarity2 and the practice of concluding comedies with a #8,marriage in a ,mask1' a ceremony which may not have been unusual1 was already considered as a stale device4 ,congreve winds up two of his comedies1 #8,the ,old ,bachelor' and #8,love for ,love1' with this jovial sort of bouquet4 ,the mode however still held on at the theatre4 ,the latter was never more licentious than now1 and the ladies never so much loved to resort thither4 ,our great grandmothers however1 when young1 were extremely modest3 many of them were afraid of venturing to a new play till their lovers assured them they might do so without offence to their exquisite delicacy4 ,the bolder spirits1 still modest but impatient1 went in masks1--not unwilling to listen to savoury uncleanness1 but so modest that they could not bear any one to see that they did not blush at it4 8,such incidents as these10 says the #8,spectator1' 8make some ladies wholly absent themselves from the playhouse2 and others never miss the first night of a new play1 lest it should prove too luscious to admit of their going with any countenance to the second20--a most exquisite reason4 ,it was good enough however to authorize vizards2 and the theatre became something like what ,nat ,lee in his #8,nero' describes ,mount ,ida to have been1-- 8,where the gods meet and dance in masquerade60 ,but ,mount ,ida had something divine about it1 which our stage in the days of vizards certainly had not4 ,as ,joe ,haines said to his masked audience1 in the concluding lines of the prologue to the very play just named-- 8,all tragedies1 egad6 to me sound oddly2 ,i can no more be serious than you godly40 ,the fashion1 after it had been indifferently well worn by the ladies1 of course fell to their maids1 and ,abigail wore the vizard which ,lady ,betty dropped4 ,in ,malcolm's #8,london' 7eighteenth century7 a writer is quoted1 whose communication shows whither the masks had fallen in #agca4 ,it is in a letter on 8,boxing ,day10 and in it occurs the following passage3--8,my friend next carried me to the upper end of ,piccadilly1 where1 one pair of stairs over a stable1 we found near a hundred people of both sexes 7some masked1 others not71 a great part of which were dancing to the music of two sorry fiddles4 ,it is impossible to describe this medley of mortals fully2 however1 ,i will do it as well as ,i can4 ,there were footmen1 servant-maids1 butchers1 apprentices1 oyster and orange women1 and sharpers1 which appeared to be the best of the company4 ,this horrid place seemed to be a complete nursery for the gallows4 ,my friend informed me it was called #8a threepenny hop2' and while we were talking1 to my great satisfaction1 by order of the ,westminster justices1 to their immortal honour1 entered the constables and their assistants1 who carried off all the company that was left2 and had not our friend been known to them1 we might have paid dear for our curiosity40 ,after all1 ,justice was here1 as usual1 uncommonly blind2 for the boxing party1 masked or not1 was not more offensive against bonos mores than the ,ranelagh parties1 where powdered 8bloods0 percolated their dreadfully luscious nonsense through the filter on the faces of the masked 8belles40 ,and besides1 masking at holiday-time had long been a privilege of the people4 ,in #8,vox ,graculi' 7#afbc71 above a century prior to the last date1 ,i find it stated of ,twelfth ,night--8,on this night1 much masking in the ,strand1 ,cheapside1 ,holborn1 and ,fleet-street40 ,i have already noticed how our exceedingly precious grandmothers used to resort to the theatres with covered faces instead of stopped-up ears4 ,the ears of the public did however rise angrily at last2 the palled appetite loathed the long-served food4 ,a society was formed 8for the reformation of manners1 for immoral words and expressions contra bonos mores1 uttered on the stage40 ,the society retained hired informers1 who sat in the pit1 took down the naughty words and the names of the speakers1 and then entered a prosecution against the utterers4 ,they were driving a pretty trade1 for the benefit of modesty and the suppression of masks1 when all at once ,queen ,anne1 sipping her hollands1 gently bethought herself that these spies were flourishing by the abundance of that which they feigned desire to put down2 and indeed the fellows were like some of our professional missionaries of the pav1 who steal spoons from chop-houses1 and have as many wives as ,rugantino4 ,the ,queen accordingly crushed the trading prosecutions by a 8,nolle prosequi10 and took the matter into her own hands4 ,she issued a 8royal command0 for the better regulation of the theatres1 whereby she left to her ,master of the ,revels 8the special care that nothing be acted in either of the theatres contrary to religion or good manners1 upon pain of our high displeasure1 and of being silenced from further acting40 ,now1 leaving to a ,master of the ,revels the care of suppressing revelry on the stage1 was very much like entrusting to ,satan the suppression of sin4 ,however1 so it was2 but her ,majesty tore the masks off herself1 or rather threatened to do so1 as thus3-- 8,we do hereby strictly command that no person1 of what quality soever1 presume to go behind the scenes1 or come upon the stage1 either before or during the acting of any piece2 that no woman be allowed or presume to wear a vizard mask in either of the theatres2 and that no persons come into either house without paying the price established for their respective places40 ,good ,queen ,anne issued this decree in the second year of her reign1 and it had just the effect that might have been expected4 ,the houses played #8,london ,cuckolds' to vizards of masked ladies1 as usual1 on the #ith of ,november2 and ,pinkethman roared his buffoonery in his booth near ,hyde ,park during ,may ,fair4 ,what then did her ,majesty deem contrary to religion and good manners8 ,well1 ,i really do not know2 but ,i do know that1 in the very year of the decree1 she herself had the comedy of #8,sir ,solomon' acted before her and her ladies at court2 and if she could listen to that without a blush1 or a mask to conceal the want of it1 why she must have construed immorality1 and her royal command against it1 in a very mild sense indeed4 ,the ladies were uncommonly angry with their liege mistress ,anne for this decree1 and the sentiment is exemplified by the song so popular at the ,lincoln's ,inn ,theatre in #agjd1--#8,the ,misses' ,lamentation1 for want of their ,vizard ,masques at the ,theatre4' ,the 8misses0 however1 and the matrons too1 had long before this indulged in a fashion which was not dropped until long subsequent to the fall of the mask4 ,about five years after ,mrs4 ,pepys had taken ,samuel for her liege lord1 that is to say in #affj1 she first essayed to add new lustre to her charms by affixing a few 8beauty spots0 to her face4 8,this is the first day10 says he1 on the #cjth of ,august of the year above named1 8that ever ,i saw my wife wear black patches since we were married40 ,it was some time before the gentleman could make up his mind to the propriety of wearing these adjuncts to beauty4 ,in ,october1 he expresses his astonishment that even ,lord ,sandwich should 8talk very high how he would have a ,french cook1 and a master of his horse1 and his lady and child to wear black patches2 which methought was strange1 but he has become a perfect courtier40 ,it was perhaps because the court patronized patches1 that ,pepys permitted them on his wife4 ,hitherto the lady had worn them without the marital sanction1 but in ,november we find him saying1 8,my wife seemed very pretty today1 it being the first time ,i had given her leave to weare a black patch40 ,and therewith his admiration increased2 and some days later1 on seeing his wife close to the ,princess ,henrietta 7daughter of ,charles ,i47 at court1 on the occasion of a visit she paid to her brother ,charles ,,ii41 as ,duchess of ,orlans1 he remarks3 8,the ,princess ,henrietta is very pretty2 444 but my wife standing near her1 with two or three black patches on1 and well-dressed1 did seem to me much handsomer than she40 ,a century subsequent to this1 patches still kissed the cheek of beauty2 and as professors taught how to wield the fan1 so ,french essays were 8done into ,english10 and instruction therein given as to the secret of applying them in an artful manner1 how to arrange them with the most killing effect1 and how to so plant them about the eye that the expression desired should be at once achieved1--whether of proud disdain1 amorous languor1 or significant boldness4 ,they were the hieroglyphics of vanity and of party spirit2 and beaux and politicians read in the arrangement of patches not only the tender but the political principles of the wearer4 ,despotism too had something to do with patches4 ,thus ,lady ,castlemaine fixed the fashion of mourning1 by 8forcing all the ladies to go in black1 with their hair plain1 and without spots40 ,it is a curious trait of the manners of other times that a royal concubine should order the tiring of honest women4 ,she could hardly have influenced that 8comely woman10 the ,duchess of ,newcastle1 who went about1 in the second ,charles's time1 with a velvet cap1 her hair about her ears1 8many black patches1 because of pimples about her mouth10 naked-necked1 and in a black justaucorps4 ,the ladies marked or patched1 the gentlemen red-heeled and similarly 8nosed10 had no greater delight than in killing time by looking at the 8puppets20 and the fashion of these same puppets is a thing of such antiquity and such duration1 that ,i may fairly add a chapter thereon to those through which ,i have already been accompanied by the courteous and indulgent reader4 ,,puppets ,,for ,,grown ,,gentlemen4 8,they do lie in a basket1 ,sir2 they are o' the small players1--and as good as any1 none dispraised1 for dumb shows40--,,ben ,,jonson3 ,bartholomew ,fair4 ,madame de ,puysieux was a witty and vivacious lady4 ,among her recorded sayings is one that exceedingly well suits me for the nonce4 8,i would rather10 she said1 8be occasionally found looking at puppets than listening to philosophers40 ,there was doubtless some reason in this2 but the fact is also indubitable1 that puppets and philosophy are not so far apart4 ,the latter has often condescended to illustrate the former4 ,the learned and serious ,jesuit1 ,mariantonio ,lupi1 devoted his brief leisure to writing upon them4 ,the great mathematicians1 ,commendino d',urbino and ,torniano di ,cremona1 stooped to play with and perfect them4 ,le ,sage and ,piron wrote plays for them4 ,ben ,jonson brought them on the stage4 ,addison has immortalized them in stately verse2 and ,haydn seriously addressed himself to composing exquisite music1 wherewith to grace their motion4 ,these are but modern illustrations4 ,we shall however presently discover1 that the great and gifted men of a very remote antiquity were wont also to turn from the consideration of mighty problems1 and carve puppets that should excite ecstasy in the wide world of 8the little people40 ,surely there is dignity in a subject treating even of toys that have been in fashion for three thousand years1 and have afforded amusement to two-thirds of the human race4 ,the subject was largely discussed in ,france not many years since1 by ,m4 ,charles ,magnin1 a gentleman who1 in love with his plaything1 had recourse to every source of information1 and who brought away from all something worth knowing4 ,m4 ,magnin shows that the gravest of authors are at issue as to the origin of the puppet race4 ,charles ,nodier1 however1 traces it to the doll that lies in unconscious felicity in the arms of youthful and precocious maturity4 ,m4 ,magnin maintains1 on the other hand1 that the puppet does not spring from the hearth1 but from the altar4 ,the rude god whittled out of a gnarled bough is1 with him1 the undoubted sire of the universe of dolls4 ,the puppet served for pious1 before it was suited to domestic1 purposes2 and it excited awe long before it won laughter or excited admiration4 ,it lived in a wood1 and ruled savages4 ,as civilization advanced1 it changed its habits1 form1 and features2 and1 ceasing to affright man1 undertook the happier task of amusing him4 ,such is the legendary record of puppets4 ,we must turn over the graphic pages of the #8,father of ,history1' to find the first authentic mention of their employment4 ,the guests at an ,egyptian feast1 when they grew hilarious1 were called back to sober propriety by the exhibition of a little skeleton1 and the admonition to reflect upon the lesson it conveyed4 ,the ,british ,museum possesses many of these figures1 as well as others which appear to be toys that have been buried with their loved little owners4 ,there is some uncertainty on this point1 however2 for it is known that on diseased persons it was the custom to place little figures1 supposed to represent the deity which had particular influence over the part whereon the image was laid4 ,i believe that the liver was the only portion of the body that had not its peculiar divinity4 ,that obstinate organ has always defied gods and men4 8,in jecore nigro nascuntur domini20 and over these even the ,egyptian ,pantheon availed nothing4 ,whether the figures in our ,museum be actual toys1 or counterfeit presentments of very swarthy gods1 it is not in every instance easy to determine4 ,from conjecture however we can turn to ,herodotus2 and certainly that worthy ,halicarnassian tells us1 in his second book1 that in ,egypt1 on the festival of ,osiris1 or ,bacchus1 a puppet figure of the joyous god1 a cubit in height1 with some indecent mechanism moved by the pulling of a string1 was carried in procession by the women4 ,when previously speaking of the figure of ,pan1 he says1 that the deity in question is worshiped under a form known not to be his real one1 for a reason1 he adds1 which he 8had rather not mention40 ,so1 in the case of ,bacchus1 he confines himself to stating that there were 8sacred and mysterious reasons0 for the same4 ,we are now aware that the unseemly practice was really a species of invocation that the earth might be impregnated with prolific virtue4 ,we next arrive at articulated figures4 ,the statue of ,jupiter ,ammon nodded to the attendant priests when he was about to prophesy4 ,so ,apollo1 at ,heliopolis1 would not open his lips till his ministers had carried him whither he would go4 ,aloft on the shoulders of his bearers1 he guided them as with reins4 ,on being questioned1 he graciously bowed his head1 if he approved2 or fell back1 if he dissented4 ,when placed on the ground of his temple1 he was seen to ascend1 without aid1 till his head touched the roof2 and there he remained fixed till prayers brought him down again4 ,it is suggested that the magnet may have been employed to accomplish the feat4 ,how this may have been defies aught but conjecture4 ,voluntary motion of inanimate objects was always an evidence of their divinity4 ,when ,juno paid her celebrated visit to ,vulcan1 she found him engaged in the manufacture of tripods1 which moved about and performed their office with a bustling air of the most zealous assiduity4 8,full twenty tripods for his hall he framed1 ,that1 placed on living wheels of massy gold1 ,wondrous to tell1 instinct with spirit1 roll'd ,from place to place around the blest abodes1 ,self-moved1 obedient to the beck of gods40 ,we have here in ,england1 if not tripods1 at least bipeds1 who can 8instinct with spirit roll ,from place to place40 ,and this subject reminds me of ,bacchus1 generally4 ,now1 my readers know that there were of old not less than ten cities known by the name of ,nysa4 ,at two of these1 ,nysa in ,india and ,nysa in ,ethiopia1 ,bacchus 7,dio ,nysus7 was held in extreme reverence4 ,in the last-named city1 ,ptolemy ,philadelphus manifested his veneration for the god1 by honouring the deity's great festival after a pleasing fashion4 ,the ,king had a figure of the joyous divinity made expressly for the occasion4 ,it was eight cubits in length1 and was drawn through the city1 attired in a tunic of yellow and gold1 with a ,macedonian mantle hanging from the shoulders4 ,the god was seated in a car1 and as he passed through the gazing crowds1 he ever and anon majestically arose1 poured out1 not wine1 but milk1 from a bowl1 and then solemnly re-seated himself4 ,among the ,greeks1 ,ddalus is famous1 in legend at least1 as the founder of the art of figure-making4 ,he is said to have flourished about a thousand years before ,christ2 and despite what is generally told of him1 he was probably but a rude craftsman4 ,he was the first who introduced quicksilver into figures1 and by this process he lent a sort of ,chinese-tumbling motion to a wooden image of ,venus4 ,some of his figures were so given to activity as to require being made fast when not wanted to move1 without which precaution they would1 like the leg in the legend1 have continued running about without intermission4 ,all the ,greek puppets belong to the ,ddalus school2 they were generally of wood or baked clay1 were set in motion by strings1 and were invariably of the feminine gender4 ,it was customary to place them in the coffins of young girls4 ,m4 ,magnin quotes from ,xenophon's graphic description of the banquet in the house of ,callias1 to demonstrate that the noblest ,athenians condescended to be amused with representations by puppets4 ,there is however not a word touching puppets throughout the lively narrative of the learned and gallant ,greek4 ,the ,syracusan showman therein introduced exhibits a living boy and girl1 who go through some rather dangerous gymnastic exercises1 which excite considerable disgust in the mind of ,socrates4 ,that sage is much better pleased when the graceful pair represent in his presence the ballet of #8,bacchus and ,ariadne4' ,these children not only danced but sang2 and if it be suggested that the feat of singing might easily be contrived for a puppet by a clever stage-manager1 we may also suggest that the ,syracusan speaks1 on one occasion1 in answer to ,socrates1 so plainly as to leave no doubt that 8flesh1 blood1 and blue veins0 entered into the composition of his elegant little slave4 ,antiochus ,cyzenicus1 half-brother to ,antiochus ,grypus--the huge-nosed ,antiochus--was celebrated as the inventor of puppets as well as of larger machines2 and his counterfeit animals1 whose limbs simulated motion1 were as agreeable to his friends1 as his engines1 with unpronounceable names1 were horridly distasteful to his enemies4 ,in ,greece again1 ,archytas the mathematician constructed for his young acquaintances a hollow pigeon that could fly1--the original ,montgolfier4 ,in like manner1 ,ddalus1 who made quicksilvered tumblers1 also discovered the use of the wedge and the science of sailing2 while ,cnidus1 the great astronomer1 not only regulated the year and brought the celestial sphere from ,egypt1 but made all his little cousins glad by the excellence of the puppets he invented1 and the fantasticness of their movements4 ,the public puppet-plays were fashionable in ,greece after the theatres had been suppressed by the ,puritan ,macedonian faction4 ,the method of representation was1 in many respects1 like that still followed by the itinerant managers of wooden companies in our own days4 ,the like permanence of fashion has clung to our childish games4 ,the old ,muinda is the modern ,blind-,man's-,buff2 ,chytrinda is ,hot ,cockles2 ,trigodiphasis is ,bob-,cherry2 and ,scriblerus1 we remember1 permitted his illustrious son to play at ,puss-in-the-,corner1 for the sufficient reason that it was the ,apodidascinda of the ancients4 ,there is one classical game that has gone out of fashion1 and ,i am not altogether surprised at it1 seeing that it consisted in one of the players standing on a round ball1 with his neck in a noose hung from above2 in one hand he held a knife4 ,it was the part of his opponents to kick the ball from under his feet4 ,if1 when this was done1 he succeeded in cutting the rope1 he won the game2 if not1 he lost it1 and got hanged4 ,to return to our figures1 we may state that the ,italian temples were celebrated for their moving gods4 ,in the fane of the two ,fortunes at ,antium1 the goddess moved both arms and head when that solemnity was required4 ,so at ,prneste1 the figures of the youthful ,jupiter and ,juno1 lying in the lap of ,fortune1 moved1 and excited awe thereby4 ,the marble ,servius ,tullius is said to have shaded his eyes with his cold hand whenever that remarkably strong-minded woman1 his daughter and murderess1 passed before him4 ,it was a common thing for the images of the gods to turn away their heads when displeased with the meats placed before them4 ,this act filled a whole district with terror1 and excited a desire in the people to do whatever the priests enjoined4 ,when the ,athenians were slow to desert their capital and take to their ships1 the sacred wooden dragon of ,minerva not only refused to eat his cakes1 but rolled himself out of the temple and down into the sea1 as though to indicate to the people the direction in which resided safety4 ,as for the huge puppets used in religious processions1 nothing now exists like them1 save in some of the festival processions in ,flemish towns4 ,our venerable city brethren1 ,gog and ,magog1 are the ancient freemen of that guild4 ,in some of the smaller images our worthy friend ,punch figures with his wonted clat4 ,m4 ,magnin holds that the ,french ,polichinelle is not a descendant of the puppet with the ,phrygian bonnet1 but an image caricaturing some old boasting cuirassed captain of ,gascony4 ,the breast protuberance he considers to be merely an exaggeration of the bowed cuirass1--an explanation which ,i am far from feeling bound to honour with acceptance4 ,puppets found favour at the hands of the early ,fathers of the ,church3 perhaps for the reason that more decency was observed in the speeches of the shows than in those of the stage4 ,the ,fathers however were divided on the point4 ,some advocated the use of every and any means whereby religion could be furthered2 others declared that nothing was lawful but what was in itself holy4 ,the fashion nevertheless prevailed1 and allegorical figures became common4 ,the ,fish1 the ,lamb1 the ,good ,shepherd1 and similar representations gladdened the hearts of simple people1 till the ,church planted her canons against them exclusively1 and insisted upon the adoption of figures of the ,saviour in his human form4 ,the command was but slowly complied with4 ,in the fourth century artists had not got beyond the bust of ,jesus4 ,by the end of the seventh century1 we meet with the sacred figure in slight relief carved on the wooden cross4 ,it required full another century before the reluctant or incapable artists achieved the complete anatomical figure hanging from the cross4 ,but when this was once accomplished1 progress was soon made beyond it2 and images of the ,saviour and the ,madonna1 with movable limbs1 set in motion by strings1 became common throughout ,europe4 ,we hear of one gravely moving through ,lucca on foot1 and gravely blessing the people as he passed along3 this was the counterpart of the ,bacchus at ,nysa4 ,the ,boxley ,madonna was long the glory of ,kent4 ,it not only moved the head1 but opened and closed the eyes2 and ,i would tell its story here1 as apt to the subject1 but that ,i have already narrated it at some length in the #8,gentleman's ,magazine4' ,the ,rimini ,madonna is but a poor plagiarism of ,our ,lady of ,boxley4 ,maundrill1 at the end of the seventeenth century1 saw an image of ,christ1 so flexible1 that it was difficult to distinguish1 at a distance1 between it and a dead body4 ,these figures were so often used to deceive the people1 that the employment of them was forbidden by several ,councils2 but in vain4 ,some of them were of such exquisite workmanship1 that their makers were taxed with having the devil for an ally2 and the figure-makers generally were consigned to infamy4 ,one day1 in the year #ajhf1 the holy ,abbot ,thergius1 attending at ,cluny to give investiture to some half hundred novices1 refused conferring the benediction upon one of them1 under the plea1 8,mechanicum ilium esse et necromanti deditum40 ,and yet the abbot artists were among the priests themselves2 nay1 were sometimes to be found among the ,popes4 ,sylvester ,,ii4 is said to have constructed a brazen head4 ,roger ,bacon and ,robert ,greathead were celebrated for the same achievement2 while ,albertus ,magnus has the reputation of having constructed an android or semblance of a man1 of such perfection1 that it would support an argument with satisfaction to itself and discomfort to its opponents4 ,thomas ,aquinas1 when young1 ventured to enter upon a discussion with this figure2 when the androide so perplexed the priest with his shower of syllogisms1 that the latter broke his head for his pains1 and ruined his argumentative powers for ever4 ,the ecclesiastical puppets were probably productions with more than mere pretensions to rank among objects of art and science4 ,the semi-religious and popular puppets were too gross to deceive2 and yet the great dragon of ,paris1 slain by ,st4 ,marcel1 whose simulacrum dragged itself through the city during the ,rogation ,days1 was probably contemplated with as much awe by the youthful beholders1 us the sacred dragon of ,minerva was at ,athens1 by such of the citizens as lived before the innovating period of the free-thinking ,anaxagoras4 ,galen speaks of puppets so anatomically perfect1 that ,heaven might have taken a hint therefrom4 ,synesius1 ,bishop of ,ptolemas1 too1 referring to effects following at long intervals1 the impelling cause divinely given1 stumbles upon an unprofitable simile1 and compares such effects to the motion in the limbs of the puppet long after the showman has ceased to pull the strings4 ,if our little actors fell into disuse from the thirteenth to the fifteenth century1 it was only to reappear in ,italy with an clat which they never previously enjoyed4 ,of modern puppets1 ,italy is the birthplace and permanent home4 ,in front of a puppet-show exists an equality of all classes1 who fraternize for the moment to enjoy the liberty which puppets alone in the peninsula appear to possess4 ,these imitate nature with such perfection as to confer on their constructors the name of artists4 ,in the regular puppet-theatre1 where none but wooden actors appear on the stage1 the scenery and accessories are in such due proportion with the performers1 that the eye yields ready consent to the illusion4 ,burlettas1 sparkling extravaganzas1 melodramas1 and even grand operas are represented4 ,in the latter case1 the mute prima donna on the stage invariably answers by her expressive pantomime to the voice which is uttered for her behind the scenes4 ,and when a bouquet is flung to her1 her grateful emotion is1 as ,mr4 ,carlyle would say1 8a noticeable thing40 ,the puppet ballet-dancers are even more wonderful than their vocal brethren4 ,rome extends to them the privilege of playing in the capital1 even in solemn seasons4 ,church-censorship is however strict1 as might be expected2 and it evidences its care for the proprieties by requiring that no female puppet shall appear on the stage without a pair of light blue silk drawers6 ,this is something to smile at2 for morality at ,rome is not of a high character1 and female immodesty there is almost as disgustingly offensive as it is on our ,ramsgate sands at the height of the bathing season4 ,even ,rome cannot beat that4 ,the private puppet-actors in ,italy indulge in political allusions1 to the delight of an audience invited for the express purpose of enjoying satirical allusions against the ,government4 ,in ,florence1 the private companies are remarkable for their coarseness1 to which they who pay for the same do not object4 ,in ,milan1 the fool of the puppet-stage is invariably a native of ,turin2 while among the ,piedmontese puppets1 the fool of the farce and the villain of the melodrama are of course of ,lombard origin4 ,the ,spanish puppets are of ,italian derivation4 ,torriani invented many in order to amuse ,charles ,v4 in his retirement among the monks of ,st4 ,just4 ,these were so clever that the brotherhood suspected the artist of being leagued with evil powers2 but the uses to be drawn from these figures were so apparent1 that the ,church of ,spain employed them largely in the working of miracles4 ,the modern prince of puppets1 our friend ,punch1 never got thoroughly naturalized in ,spain4 ,the fact is1 the unscrupulous fellow is of ,neapolitan descent2 and since ,naples revolted against the ,spanish government1 ,pulcinello is looked upon as a very dangerous person4 ,seneca1 on the other hand1 being a native of ,cordova1 is a great favourite4 ,his history is faithfully represented1 with an addition that reminds one of the new act put by the modest ,m4 ,dumas to one ,william ,shakspeare's tragedy of ,hamlet4 ,this addition consists in the ascent of the heathen philosopher to heaven2 where1 at the feet of the figure of the ,saviour1 he recites the creed1 and professes himself a ,christian4 ,after all1 this is not more absurd than the act of that ,pope who converted ,trajan to ,christianity three hundred years after that ,emperor's death2 and who had nearly canonized him to boot1 in spite of the remonstrance of the astounded ,college of ,cardinals4 ,although ,punch was not originally ,french1 he has always been greatly esteemed in ,france4 ,he was a highly honoured puppet1 as the registers of the royal treasury certify2 ex4 gr41 8,paid to ,brioch1 the puppet-player1 for sojourning at ,st4 ,germain-en-,laye1 during ,september1 ,october1 and ,november1 #affi1 to divert the royal children1 #acfe livres40 ,the royal children of ,france must have had enough of this sort of amusement1 the ,dauphin particularly1 who had already had two months of puppet-playing before ,brioch came1 as is shown by the same registry3--8,paid to ,franois ,daitelin1 puppet-player1 for the fifty-six days he remained at ,st4 ,germain1 to amuse ,monseigneur le ,dauphin 7,july and ,august1 #affi71 #hbj livres40 ,bossuet1 the ,dauphin's tutor1 persecuted both puppets and ,protestants1 which1 and especially the latter1 were reckoned for a time among the things that were reprobate and abominable4 ,brioch himself was suppressed2 but he had friends at court2 and the ,king1 who would execute a ,protestant for preaching1 signed a decree which authorized the mountebank to continue playing4 ,due gratitude was shown in return2 and among the favourite pieces represented at the famous fairs of ,st4 ,germain and ,st4 ,laurent1 was #8,the ,destruction of the ,huguenots4' ,the puppet-plays at the fairs in ,paris were got up with much magnificence1 and were wittily written1--but with as much indecency as wit2 particularly during the last years of ,louis ,,xiv4 and the time of the ,regent4 ,the puppets alone had full liberty of speech1 when every other sort of liberty was extinct4 ,le ,sage and ,piron1 as ,i have said1 wrote pieces expressly for them4 ,and while plays in ,france were acted in puppet-shows1 puppet-shows in ,england were introduced into plays4 ,of this the #8,bartholomew ,fair' of ,jonson is a sufficient example4 ,the vogue of the ,french puppets is proved by the fact that the ,regent ,duke of ,orlans1 with his company of rous1 often remained in the fair till long after midnight1 to witness representations where the coarser the wit the more it was enjoyed4 ,all the chefs-d'uvre of the ,french stage were immediately parodied on the puppet-boards2 and saving the license of speech1 the parody was often superior to the original4 ,it was so attractive that the regular actors complained1 and sought for the suppression of their wooden rivals4 ,but ,punch and his brethren pleaded for their ancient privilege1 8de parler et de pr40 ,the plea was held good1 and the puppets triumphed over the ,thespians4 ,the quarrel being a family one1 it was of course carried on with undying hostility4 ,the puppet-players took every opportunity of ridiculing the extravagances of the more serious stage4 ,when the custom of calling for 8the author0 of a successful new piece was established1 upon the example set of calling for ,voltaire after the first representation of #8,merope1' the puppets availed themselves of the opportunity for caricaturing4 8,le compre pressait ,polichinelle de lui faire entendre une de ses uvres2 et aprs avoir reu une rponse trs-incongrue1 le compre s'empressait de demander l'auteur6 l'auteur6 satisfaction que s'empressait de lui donner ,polichinelle1 aux grands clats de rire de l'assemble40 ,the contrast with this will call up but a ghastly smile when we find that while the crowd on the ,place ,louis ,,xv4 was waiting to witness the execution of the ,king1 ,punch was being serio-comically guillotined in one corner of the square1 to the great delight of the spectators4 ,indeed the #8,vieux ,cordelier' tells us1 that ,punch daily filled up the intervals of executions2 and so varied the pleasures of the humane but impatient multitude4 ,but what neither the #8,vieux ,cordelier1' nor ,m4 ,magnin tells us1 is the fate of this very ,punch1 or rather of the man and his wife who exhibited the popular puppet4 ,their fate is recorded by the ,marquis de ,custine4 ,punch1 it appears1 ventured on some jokes against the ,terrorists4 ,his master and mistress were thereupon seized4 ,they bore their brief imprisonment with heroism1 and they were executed on the spot whereon had perished their sovereign and queen4 ,the puppets went down in the general hurricane of the ,revolution1 and they only partially came again to the surface4 ,to their ancient shows on the ,boulevard du ,temple has succeeded a line of theatres2 and the chief resulting difference is1 that very awkward men and women now enact the most sacred subjects where puppets once did the same office less revoltingly4 ,if a popular movement finally declared that the puppet dynasty had ceased to reign1 it was a despotic will that abolished the use of such effigies in church spectacles4 ,louis ,,xiv41 on witnessing one of those sights at ,dieppe1 was so shocked thereat that he ordered their general suppression4 ,the ,french word for puppet1 ,marionnette1 applied originally only to figures of the ,virgin ,mary2 but1 like the ,catrinette of the little ,savoyard1 it has ceased to have an exclusive application4 ,with regard to puppets in ,england1 those wooden ladies and gentlemen once figured largely in our church-shows1 interludes1 and pageants4 ,the names of the puppet masters have come down to us1 from ,pad1 ,cookley1 ,powell1 and the daughter of ,colley ,cibber1 to no less a man than ,curran1 who1 taking upon himself1 in sport1 the charge of a show for one night1 found it so easy when speaking for the mute actors to maintain both sides of an argument that he was therefore convinced of his excellent aptitude for the law4 ,pepys1 as usual1 affords us again illustrations of the fashion which attached to puppets in his day4 ,from his brief journalizing we obtain a world of information on this matter4 ,thus we find him recording3--8#abth ,nov4 #affa4 ,my wife and ,i to ,bartholomew ,fayre1 with puppets 7which ,i had seen once before1 and the play without puppets often72 but though ,i love the play as much as ever ,i did1 yet ,i do not like the puppets at all1 but think it to be a lessening of it40 ,on the #ith ,may1 in the following year1 we find him in ,covent ,garden1 8to see an ,italian puppet-play1 that is within the rayles there1--the best that ever ,i saw1 and great resort of gallants40 ,in a fortnight he takes poor ,mrs4 ,pepys to the same play4 ,in ,october1 he says3--8,lord ,sandwich is at ,whitehall1 with the ,king1 before whom the puppet-plays ,i saw this summer in ,covent ,garden are acted this night40 ,on the #cjth ,august1 #affg1 being with a merry party at ,walthamstow1 he left his wife to get home as well as she could2 he 8to ,bartholomew ,fayre1 to walk up and down1 and there1 among other things1 find my ,lady ,castlemaine at a puppet-play1 #8,patient ,grizell1' and the street full of people expecting her coming out4 ,i confess ,i did wonder at her courage to come abroad1 thinking the people would abuse her2 but they1 silly people1 do not know the work she makes2 and therefore suffered her with great respect to take coach1 and so away without any trouble at all40 ,the last allusion made by ,pepys on this subject forms an admirable commentary on the approving ecstasy expressed by the royalists at the lashing which the 8,precisians0 received at the hands of ,lantern's puppets in ,jonson's comedy4 ,on the #eth ,september1 #affh1 ,pepys is again on the old ground1 8to see the play #8,bartholomew ,faire1' and it is an excellent play2 the more ,i see it1 the more ,i love the wit of it2 only0 7he adds7 8the business of abusing the ,puritans begins to grow stale1 and of no use1 they being the people that at last will be found the wisest40 ,i began this chapter with a quotation from ,puysieux--,i may end it with that just cited from ,pepys2 and therewith1 lowering the curtain of my little theatre1 ,i beg the indulgence of my audience for the succeeding portions of what ,i have respectfully to bring before them2 something more especially touching ,tailors1 and the ,man whose making is to ,tailors due6 ,first1 however1 to treat the matter reverently1 let us inquire what influenced the ancient corporation in their selection of a protecting ,saint4 ,,touching ,,tailors4 8,rem acu tetigisti40--,,horace4 8,you have treated of a matter about the needle40--,translated by a ,merchant ,tailors' ,pupil4 8,sit merita ,laus60--,,st4 ,,william1 ,,abp4 8,sit1 merry ,tailors40--,freely rendered by the ,saint's ,chaplain4 ,,why ,,did ,,the ,,tailors ,,choose ,,st4 ,,william ,,for ,,their ,,patron8 8,king ,david's confessor is worth a whole calendar of ,williams40--,,lutheran ,,tailor4 ,why did the tailors choose ,st4 ,william for their patron8 ,ah1 why8 ,i confess it puzzles me to furnish a reply2 and ,i would not be editor of that pleasant paper #8,notes and ,queries1' if my official hours were to be passed in furnishing answers to such questions4 ,i can understand why ,st4 ,nicholas is the patron of children4 ,the ,saint once came upon a dozen or two in a tub1 cut up1 pickled1 and ready for home consumption or foreign exportation1 and he restored them all to life by a wave of his wand1--of his hand1 ,i should say1 but ,i was thinking of ,harlequin2 and thenceforth parents very properly neglected their children1 knowing that ,nicholas was their commissioned curator4 ,i can comprehend why 8,st4 ,john ,colombine0 is the patron saint of honest workmen4 ,i heard ,dr4 ,manning1 the other day1 tell his story from that thimble of a pulpit in the ,roman ,catholic ,chapel at ,brook ,green4 ,this ,john was a journeyman tailor 7or of some as honest vocation7 given to strong drink and hot wrath4 ,he was one day made insanely furious because his real ,colombine1 his wife1 had not got his dinner ready according to order4 ,the good housewife bethought her for a moment1 and thereupon1 after turning aside1 placed before him1 not bread1 but biography2 not a loaf and a salad1 but the #8,lives of the ,saints4' ,john dipped into the same1 devoured chapter after chapter1 and fed so largely on the well-attested facts1 that he lost all appetite for aught besides4 ,he thenceforth so comported himself that future editors gave him a place in the catalogue of the canonized2 and the story1 as told by that pale and care-worn-looking ,dr4 ,manning1 is worth the shilling which you must disburse if you would hear it4 ,certainly1 ,i mean nothing disrespectful to that sincere but seemingly unhappy man1 when ,i say that so startling was the story as introduced into a discourse upon the ,spirit of the ,lord and they who are led by such ,spirit1 that ,i could not have been more startled if1 in the days of my youth1 the ,bleeding ,nun in #8,the ,travellers ,benighted' had1 in the midst of her most tremendous scene1 tripped down to the foot-lights and sung a comic song4 ,but this will not answer the query1 8,why did the tailors choose ,st4 ,william for their patron80 ,indeed1 the digression ,i have made may be taken for proof that ,i do not know how to answer the question4 ,but let us at least inquire4 ,first1 there was the ,savoyard ,saint ,william1 who1 when an orphan1 abandoned the friends who would have protected him2 and after wandering barefooted to the shrine of that ,saint whom ,english boys unwittingly celebrate by their grottoes1 8only once a year10 ,st4 ,james of ,compostella1 proceeded to the kingdom of ,naples1 where he withdrew to a desert mountain1 and passed his time in contemplating the prospect before him4 ,he lacerated his skin instead of washing it1 and he patched his own garments when he might have earned new ones by honest labour4 ,but he founded a community of monks and friars1 and ergo he is celebrated by the hagiographers4 ,a contempt for saponaceous applications1 and a disregard of upper appearance or under comfort1 have decidedly descended to the brotherhood of tailors from ,william of ,monte ,vergine4 ,secondly1 there was ,william of ,champeaux1 who founded the ,abbey of ,st4 ,victor at ,paris4 ,this ,william was a man of large learning and small means2 and he was well content to dine daily on a lettuce1 a pinch of salt1 and a mouthful of bread4 ,the shadows of dinners which form the substance of tailors' repasts1 are reflections from the board of ,william of ,champeaux4 ,thirdly1 there was ,william of ,paris1 the familiar friend of ,st4 ,louis1 ,king of ,france4 ,this bishop1 next to piety1 was famed for his knowledge of politics2 and as tailors have ever been renowned for knowing what is going on 8i' the capitol10 and for discussing such goings on with uncommon freedom1 ,i think we may trace this characteristic of the race to the news-loving and loquacious prelate of eight centuries ago4 ,fourthly1 there was ,st4 ,william of ,maleval1 of sufficiently ignoble birth to have been a tailor2 and who did1 in his youth and his cups1 what modern young tailors frequently offer to do under similar circumstances1 namely1 enlist4 ,if our useful friends have not imitated the latter example set them by the ,saint1 we may trace their love of the pot1 at least1 to the early model they found in their patron of ,maleval2 and if often they find themselves in the station-house1 lying upon no softer bed than the bare ground1 they doubtless find the reflection as feathers to their bruised sides1 that it was even thus that the founder of the ,gulielmites lay in a cave of the ,evil ,valley to which he gave a name 7,male ,val71 and which before was known by no better than the ,stable of ,rhodes4 ,fifthly1 there was ,william of ,gelone1 ,duke of ,aquitaine1 whom it took ,st4 ,bernard twice to convert before he made a ,christian of him2 and who had such gallant propensities that he might have been one of the couple sung of in the #8,bridal of ,triermain1' where of three personages it is said that-- 8,there were two who loved their neighbours' wives1 ,and one who loved his own40 ,the well-known gallantry of the tailors therefore is an heirloom from ,william of ,aquitaine4 ,sixthly1 there was ,william sometime ,archbishop of ,bourges1 who left to the guild of whom we are treating the example which is followed by so many of its members1 and which consisted in utterly dispensing with a shirt4 ,he further never added to his costume in winter1 nor diminished anything in it in summer2 and they who have taken ,st4 ,william for a patron are known1 though not for the same reasons1 to be followers of the same fashion4 ,then there was1 seventhly1 ,st4 ,william of ,norwich1 whose father1 after hesitating whether to bind him apprentice to a tailor or a tanner1 had just placed him with the latter when the lad was seized upon by the ,jews1 and by them tortured and crucified1 in derision of ,christ4 ,on ,easter ,day they put the body into a sack1 and carried it into ,thorpe ,wood1 where it was afterwards discovered1 and buried1 with many miraculous incidents to illustrate the funeral2 and where was afterwards erected the chapel of ,st4 ,william in the ,wood4 ,now1 at first sight1 it would appear difficult to decide as to what the tailors' guild derived from ,william of ,norwich4 ,but it is only at first sight1 and to those unaccustomed to follow a trail1 and not determined to find what they are looking for4 ,in allusion to what had befallen the body of ,st4 ,william1 or rather in memory of how that body was conveyed away1 after life had been expelled from it1 the ,norwich tailors first adopted that now consecrated phrase of 8getting the sack10 and which phrase implies a loss of position1 to the detriment of the loser4 ,but ,i have not done2 ,williams are as plentiful as blackberries4 ,there is an eighth1 the ,abbot of ,eskille1 who no more liked to play sub-prior to a superior than ,garrick liked to play an unapplauded ,falconbridge to ,sheridan's ,king ,john4 ,william of ,eskille was a great reformer of slothful convents1 by whose inmates he was as much detested as an honest and vigilant foreman is by operatives who work by the day4 ,one thing deemed worthy of mention by his biographers consists in the dreary fact that he wore the same shirt for thirty years4 ,at the end of that time he turned it1 and then piously blessed the saints for 8the comfort of clean linen40 ,i question if even modern tailors have succeeded in attaining to this extent of saintly uncleanliness1 but ,i would not be too certain of that fact4 ,as for what they may further have derived from this excellent person1 it is well known that for an abbot to be called an ,abbot d',eskille was the highest possible compliment that could be paid him2 and so the phrase fell to other camaraderies1 and a ,tailleur d',eskille was the origin of a tailor of skill4 ,but this is confidential1 reader1--between you and me4 ,if you are related to an etymologist1 or on friendly terms with a lexicographer1 ,i earnestly beg that you will not mention it1 even 8after dinner40 ,under the mystic number 8nine10 ,i come to that ,william ,archbishop of ,york1 who was the nephew of ,stephen ,king of ,england1 and whom old ,st4 ,bernard belaboured with as many hard words as ever ,sir ,richard ,birnie hurled1 on a ,monday morning1 on ex-inebriated tailors captured on the preceding ,saturday night4 ,i do not believe a word of what the irate ,st4 ,bernard says against ,st4 ,william1 whom he accuses of the most horrible crimes4 ,the slightest charge in the bill of indictment drawn up by him1 whom ,hurden calls a wicked old impostor1 is love of good living4 ,st4 ,william1 like honest ,archiepiscopus ,wilfred1 had a tender inclination for roast goose6 ,oh1 benedicte ,gulielme6 may you have found the bird ever as your inclination1--tender6 ,the sacred goose is an appanage of the tailors1 and it dates from that jovial ,st4 ,william whom ,st4 ,bernard hated as cordially as though the former had made the latter's hair-shirt too tight to comfortably breathe in after supper4 ,our tenth example is the ,st4 ,william who was bishop of ,st4 ,brieux1 in ,brittany1 who often pawned his robes to purchase corn for the poor4 ,here we see whence the society of tailors borrow their authority for depositing pledges1 in order to purchase distillations from corn1 and for the poor also1--their poor selves4 ,this is highly satisfactory4 ,there was one more ,william1 namely1 he who1 ,english by birth1 was the introducer of ,christianity into ,denmark1 and who was of such good repute when living that he was buried in the mausoleum of the ,danish kings1 at ,roeskild1 after death4 ,it was remarked of him that when he was reproving 8drunken ,denmark10 he invariably held his pastoral staff as though he were taking measure1 as he probably was of the royal bad habits2 and perhaps on this account he has come in for a share of the patronage exercised over the guild whose members take measure of men4 ,and now let it be observed1 that although ,i have mentioned eleven ,williams1 there are only nine of them who really rank among the canonized saints4 ,is not that suggestive8 ,the fraternity1 of whom it takes nine members to make a man1 have naturally supposed that it would take nine saints to make one patron4 ,it is clear1 then1 that it is not to one ,william1 but to nine combined1 that the guild address1 or did in olden times address1 their vows and acknowledgments2 and exactly for the reason that there are nine ,saint ,williams have the ,english tailors chosen them1 in a mass1 for their one consolidated patron4 ,quod erat demonstrandum6 ,and now1 having seen how the tailors took their patron1 let us consider them generally4 ,there have been many of note1 either of themselves or in their sons4 ,church1 bar1 army1 navy1 poetry1 and the stage1--they have by turns excelled in all4 ,if ,barrow rose from his father's shop1 where he was early initiated in the mysteries of mercer and draper1 to wear his well-earned dignity in the ,church1 there was nothing wonderful in the elevation4 ,the father of our present ,archbishop of ,york kept1 at ,cambridge1 a shop like that of ,barrow's father4 ,one of the most active and useful of the ,yorkshire rectors was himself in early life of the craft2 and there is no more zealous or efficient missionary in ,ireland than the ,rev4 ,mr4 ,doudney1 the brother of the well-known ,london tailor of that name4 ,in the olden times1--that is1 some two centuries ago1--the boy who passed from his father's shop-board to enter1 as a man1 the pulpit1 was of very ,high ,church principles1 if we may take ,shadwell's portrait of ,smirk in the #8,lancashire ,witches' as a faithful portraiture4 ,smirk is a little given1 as ,brother ,ignatius advises all ,roman ,catholic servants in ,protestant families to be1 to inquire into the family secrets1 for which his patron1 ,sir ,edward ,harfort1 to whom he is chaplain1 reproves him4 ,the following sharp dialogue then ensues3-- 8,smirk4 ,consider1 ,sir1 the dignity of my function4 ,sir ,ed4 ,your father is my tailor4 ,you are my servant2 ,and do you think a cassock and a girdle ,can alter you so much as to enable ,you 7who before were but a coxcomb1 ,sir7 ,to teach me8 ,smirk4 ,my orders give me authority to speak4 ,a power legantine ,i have from ,heaven4 ,sir ,ed4 ,show your credentials4 ,the indiscretion of such paltry fellows ,are scandals to the ,church and cause they preach for4 ,with furious zeal you press for discipline1 ,with fire and blood maintain your great ,diana1 ,foam at the mouth when a ,dissenter's named1 ,and damn them if they do not love a surplice4 ,smirk4 ,had ,i the power ,i'd make them wear pitcht surplices4 ,sir ,ed4 ,such firebrands as you but hurt the cause4 ,the learned'st and the wisest of your tribe ,strive by good life and meekness to o'ercome them40 ,it is worth recording that this rather high-toned chaplain ,smirk1 son of ,smirk the ,tailor1 came under the censure and the scissors of the scrupulous ,master of the ,revels4 ,this delicate official could tolerate the ,smirks of ,etherege1 but when ,shadwell exhibited one with something like sincerity dragging after his faults1 the whole town1 ay1 and the court too1 cried out shame6 ,the wisdom of our ancestors does not appear to match with the assurance which affects to give warranty of it4 ,to turn from poetry to prose1 ,i have to remark that ,ingulph1 the ,abbot of ,croyland1 who wrote the pleasant story of his monastery1 appears to me to have been 7possibly7 a tailor's son4 ,the good old man does not indeed say as much1 but he intimates that he was a cockney of humble origin2 and1 if 8vous tes orfvre1 ,monsieur ,josse10 have a significance1 why something of the same sort may be detected in the phrases and1 ,i may add1 in the deeds of the ,chronicler of ,croyland4 ,ingulph was a ,westminster boy and an ,oxford scholar4 ,speaking of his studies at the latter place1 he says3--8,after ,i had made progress beyond most of my fellows in mastering ,aristotle1 ,i also clothed myself down to the heels with the first and second rhetoric of ,tully4 ,on growing to be a young man1 ,i loathed the narrow means of my parents1 and daily longed with the most ardent desire to leave my paternal home1 and sighed for the palaces of kings and princes1 to clothe myself in soft or pompous raiment40 ,if ,molire's ,monsieur ,josse was discovered to be a goldsmith by the setting of his criticism1 we may say that ,ingulph was of a tailorish origin by the cut of his phrases4 ,and so1 as ,i have said1 of his acts3 in these there is a strong redolence of what the vulgar call 8cabbage40 ,for instance1 when 8trustworthy reports0 were made by local valuers of land and property1 in order that the same should be taxed1 and the said valuers visited ,croyland to that intent1 ,ingulph thus exultingly records what took place3--8,those persons showed a kind and benevolent feeling towards our monastery1 and did not value the monastery at its true revenue1 nor yet at its exact extent2 and thus1 in their compassion1 took due precautions against the future exactions of the kings1 as well as other burdens1 and with the most attentive benevolence made provision for our welfare40 ,it is curious to see how robbing the king's exchequer in favour of a monastery is called attentive benevolence2 how fraudulent returns are spoken of as 8trustworthy reports20 and how the ,lord ,abbot of ,croyland1 the personal favourite of ,william the ,conqueror1 cheated the master who confided in him1 and practically illustrated the text1 8,render unto ,csar the things which are ,csar's40 ,till a very recent period it was the invariable custom1 whenever a ,frenchman appeared on our stage1 to represent him ridiculously attired4 ,this was originally done out of revenge for an affront put upon us by ,catherine de' ,medici2 who1 instigated by the ,duc de ,guise1 had dressed up her buffoons at a court entertainment1 and called them ,english milords4 ,elizabeth made a capital remark when she was told of this insult4 ,she called aloud1 in full court1 to the ,french ,ambassador1 that when these ,french buffoons were declared in presence of her own ,ambassador1 ,lord ,north1 to be ,english noblemen1 that envoy ought to have told those who witnessed the unseemly entertainment1 that the tailors of ,france who had so mimicked the costume of her great sire ,henry ,,viii4 should have better remembered the habiliments of that great ,king1 since he had crossed the sea more than once with warlike engines displayed1 and had some concern with the people there4 ,the most fortunate1 perhaps ,i ought to say the most successful1 tailor of very recent times1 was ,mr4 ,brunskill1 whose seat of operations was at ,exeter4 ,no provincial1 and not above one metropolitan1 tailor ever realized such a fortune as he did3 it was realized not by luck1 but by labour4 ,for the first seven years that he was in business on his own account he worked seventeen hours a day4 ,and if he went to church on ,sundays1 he plied his needle none the less actively during the other hours of that day4 ,this is the worst feature in the case2 but he probably entertained a religious respect for that maxim of ,st4 ,augustine which tells us1 8qui laborat1 orat40 ,it was his boast that he was the only man in ,exeter who could ride forty miles a day and cut out work for forty journeymen besides4 ,this assiduity had its reward1 and ,brunskill's business soon returned above #be1jjj annually4 ,of course young heirs and youths rich only in present hopes resorted to him for loans2 and ,brunskill was as successful as a money-broker as he was in his other vocation4 ,cent4 upon cent4 reared the structure of his edifice of fortune2 and long before a quarter of a century had elapsed since he commenced his career1 he was proprietor of ,polsloe ,park1 and1 if not a 'squire himself1 training his three lads to take station with 'squires4 ,in the meantime1 constant labour was his dear delight1 and he was ever at his board or his bank1 making men by a double process1--some1 by dressing their persons2 some1 by dressing their credit1--and1 in either case1 with good security for prompt payment4 ,he was thus hard at work up to one ,monday night not many months ago1 and on the following ,thursday morning he was a dead man4 ,corporal ,trim himself might here have found a theme whereon to deeply philosophize4 ,leaving that profitable occupation to our old friend the ,corporal1 let us look at the half pleasant1 half stern realities of the case4 ,brunskill left three sons3 to the two younger he bequeathed #aj1jjj apiece2 to the eldest1 #bjj1jjj and ,polsloe ,park4 ,the younger may wear their crape with satisfaction1 and the eldest heir may bless the needle which pricked him out so pretty a condition4 ,his sire has made him first gentleman of a future race of county 'squires2 and ,i beg to assure heirs to come in after times from this peculiar source1 that they will have less to be ashamed of than have those noble gentlemen and ladies who descend from concubines of kings1 and who exist upon the wages of their first mother's pollution4 ,we have now considered both the patron and his flock2 let us now see how the latter have been treated by the lively poets who have 8fine-drawn0 them in immortal verse4 ,,the ,,tailors ,,measured ,,by ,,the ,,poets4 8,dignum laude virum ,musa vetat mori40--,,horace4 ,oh1 ,thersites1 good friend1 how scurvily hast thou been dealt with at the hands of man6 ,thou art emphatically un homme incompris1 but thou art not therefore un homme mprisable4 ,the poets have comprehended thee better than the people2 and ,homer himself has no desire to prove thee the coward and boaster for which thou art taken by the world on ,homeric authority4 ,i think that ,ulysses1 with whom1 in the #8,iliad1' ,thersites is brought in contact1 is by far the greater brute of the two4 ,the husband of ,penelope is cringing to the great1 and cruel to the lowly4 ,he appears much less fitted for a king than for a ,poor-law ,commissioner4 ,he unmercifully smites the deformed ,thersites with his sceptre2 but why8--because the latter1 so far from being a coward1 had had the courage to attack ,agamemnon himself before the whole assembled ,greeks4 ,he is ridiculed for the tears extorted from him by pain and shame2 and yet weeping1 among the heroes of ,greek epic and tragic poetry1 is indulged in on all occasions by the bravest of the brave4 ,there is nothing that these copper-captains do more readily or more frequently1 except lying1 for which they exhibit an alacrity that is perfectly astounding4 ,the soft infection will run through two whole armies1 and then the universal1 solemn shower rises into the majesty of poetry2 but when our poor1 ill-treated friend drops a scalding tear1 in his own solitary person1 it is then bathos6 ,i concede that he talked too much2 but it was generally close to the purpose1 and fearless of results4 ,his last act was one of courage4 ,the semi-deified bully ,achilles1 having slain ,penthesilea1 cried like a school-boy at his self-inflicted loss2 and ,thersites1 having laughed at him for his folly1 paid for his bold presumption with his life4 ,there is another version of his death1 which says that1 the invincible son of ,thetis having visited the dead body of the ,amazon with unnatural atrocities1 the decent ,thersites reproached him for his unmanly conduct1 and was slain by him in rage at the well-merited rebuke4 ,shakspeare1 who did all things perfectly1 makes of ,thersites a bold and witty jester1 who entertains a good measure of scorn for the valiant ignorance of ,achilles4 ,the wit of the latter1 with that of his brother chiefs1 lies in their sinews2 and their talk is of such a skim-milk complexion that we are ready to exclaim1 with bold ,thersites himself1 8,i will see you hanged like clotpoles ere ,i come any more to your tents2 ,i will keep where there is wit stirring1 and leave the faction of fools40 ,as it has been with our poor friend ,thersites1 so has it been with our useful friends whose faculties are ever given to a consideration of the important matter 8,de ,re ,vestiari40 ,the poets however do not partake of the popular fallacy2 and the builders of lofty rhyme are not unjust1 as we shall see1 to a race whose mission it is to take measures in order to save godlike man from looking ridiculous4 ,shakspeare of course has rendered this full justice to the tailor4 ,in his illustrations we see our ancient friend variously depicted1 as industrious1 intelligent1 honest1 and full of courage1 without vapouring4 ,the tailor in #8,king ,john' is represented as the retailer of news1 and the strong handicraftsman listens with respect to the budget of the weakly intelligencer4 8,i saw a smith stand with his hammer1 thus1 ,the while his iron did on the anvil cool1 ,with open mouth swallowing a tailor's news2 ,who1 with his shears and measure in his hand1 ,standing on slippers 7which his nimble haste ,had falsely thrust upon contrary feet71 ,told of a many thousand warlike ,french ,that were embattld and rank'd in ,kent40 ,it is clear that nothing less than an invasion had driven this hard-working artisan from his shop-board to talk of politics and perils with his friend at the smithy4 ,the ,german poet ,heyne has something of a similar description of the tailor1 in prose3 in his #8,reisebilder' there is an admirably graphic account of how the ,elector ,john ,william fled from ,dsseldorf1 and left his ci-devant subjects to render allegiance to ,murat1 the grand and well-curled ,duke of ,berg2 and how1 of the proclamations posted in the night1 the earliest readers in the grey morning were an old soldier and a valiant tailor1 ,killian1--the latter attired as loosely as his predecessor in #8,king ,john1' and with the same patriotic sentimentality in the heart which beat beneath his lightly burdened ribs4 ,but1 to revert to 8,sweet ,will10 how modestly dignified1 assured1 and self-possessed is the tailor in #8,katherine and ,petruchio6' ,the wayward bridegroom had ridiculed the gown brought home by the 8woman's tailor0 for the wayward bride4 ,he had laughed at the 8masking-stuff10 sneered at the demi-cannon of a sleeve1 and profanely pronounced its vandyking 7if that term be here admissible7 as 8carved like an apple-tart4 ,here's snip and nip1 and cut1 and slish and slash1 ,like to a censer in a barber's shop40 ,to all which profanity against divine fashion1 the tailor modestly remarks that he had made the gown1 as he had been bidden1 8orderly and well1 ,according to the fashion and the time40 ,and when ,petruchio1 who is not half so much of a gentleman in this scene as ,sartorius1 calls the latter 8thimble10 8flea10 8skein of thread10 8remnant10 and flings at him a whole vocabulary of vituperation1 the gentle schneider still simply asserts that the gown was made according to direction1 and that the latter came from ,grumio himself4 ,now ,grumio1 being a household servant1 lies according to the manner of his vocation2 and where he does not lie1 he equivocates most basely2 and where he neither lies nor equivocates1 he bullies2 and finally1 he falls into an argument1 which has not the logical conclusion of annihilating his adversary4 ,the latter1 with quiet triumph1 produces ,grumio's note containing the order2 but it costs the valet no breath1 and as little hesitation1 to pronounce the note a liar too4 ,but a worm will turn2 and the tailor1 touched to the quick on a point of honour1 brings his bold heart upon his lips1 and valiantly declares1 8,this is true that ,i say2 an ,i had thee in place where1 thou shouldst know it20 and thereupon ,grumio falls into bravado and uncleanness1 and the tailor is finally dismissed with scant courtesy1 and the very poor security of ,hortensio's promise to pay for what ,petruchio owed4 ,the breach of contract was flagrant1 and the only honest man in the party was the tailor4 ,so much for honesty2 as for bravery1 commend me to forcible ,francis ,feeble4 ,he too was but a 8woman's tailor20 but what an heroic soul was in that transparent frame6 ,he reminds me of ,sir ,charles ,napier4 ,when the latter hero was complimented by the ,mayor of ,portsmouth1 he simply undertook to do his best1 and counselled his worship not to expect too much4 ,sir ,charles must have taken the idea of his speech from ,francis ,feeble2 and what an honour is that for the entire profession1 not of sailors1 but of tailors6 8,wilt thou make me10 asks ,falstaff1 8as many holes in an enemy's battle1 as thou hast done in a woman's petticoat80 8,i will do my good will1 ,sir10 answereth gallant ,feeble1 adding1 with true conclusiveness1 8you can have no more40 ,well might ,sir ,john enthusiastically hail him as 8courageous ,feeble10 and compare his valour to that of the wrathful dove and most magnanimous mouse1--two animals gentle by nature1 but being worked upon not void of spirit4 ,indeed1 ,feeble is the only gallant man of the entire squad of famished recruits4 ,bullcalf offers 8good master corporate ,bardolph0 a bribe of 8four ,harry ten shillings in ,french crowns10 to be let off4 ,not that ,bullcalf is afraid6 ,not he1 the knave2 he simply does not care to go6 ,he is not curious in things strategic2 he seeth no attraction in stricken fields2 but he would fain be out of harm's way1 because1 in his own words1--8because ,i am unwilling1 and1 for mine own part1 have a desire to stay with my friends2 else1 ,sir1 ,i did not care1 for mine own part1 so much40 ,to no such craven tune runneth the song of stupendous ,feeble6 ,mouldy urges affection for his old dame as ground of exemption from running the risk of getting decorated with a bloody coxcomb4 ,no such jeremiade is chanted by ,titanic ,francis4 8,by my troth10 gallantly swears that lion-like soul1--8by my troth1 ,i care not60 ,he1 the tailor1 cares not6 neither subterfuge1 lie1 nor excuse will he condescend to6 ,moreover1 he is not only courageous1 but ,christian-like and philosophical2 as1 for example3--8,a man can die but once2--we owe ,god a death4 ,i'll ne'er bear a base mind2 an it be my destiny1 so2 an it be not1 so2 no man's too good to serve his prince2 and1 let it go which way it will1 he that dies this year is quit for the next40 ,this was not a man to march with whom through ,coventry a captain need to be ashamed4 ,so valiant1 and yet so modest6 ,so conscious of peril1 and yet so bold in the encountering of it6 ,so clear in his logic1 so profound in his philosophy1 so loyal of heart1 and so prepared in the latter to entertain any fate1 whatever might be its aspect1 or the hour of its coming6 ,surely1 if the prompter's book be correct1 the exit of this tailor must be directed to be marked with music1 to the air of #8,a man's a man for a' that4' ,anything less appropriate would fail to do justice to the situation4 ,in ,francis ,feeble then the spirit of the tailor is immortalized4 ,compared with him1 ,starveling1 in the #8,midsummer ,night's ,dream1' is simply tender-hearted4 ,he is one of the actors in the play of #8,pyramus and ,thisbe1' and he is the most ready to second the motion that the sword of ,pyramus should not be drawn1 nor the lion be permitted to roar1 lest the ladies1 dear souls1 should be affrighted4 ,starveling is more of the carpet knight than ,feeble4 ,the one is gallant in stricken fields1 the other airs his gallantry in ladies' bower4 ,it was right that the race of ,feebles should not expire4 ,it was said of old1 that to be the sire of sons was no great achievement1 but that he was a man indeed who was the father of daughters4 ,such no doubt was ,feeble1 one of whose spirited girls married a ,sketon2 and their eldest son it is1 as ,i would fondly think1 who figures so bravely among the followers of ,perkin ,warbeck1 in ,john ,ford's tragedy of that name4 ,sketon is the most daring of the company1 and the blood of the ,feebles suffers no disgrace in his person4 ,sketon1 like the great ,duke of ,guise1 is full of dashing hope1 when all his fellows are sunk in dull despair4 ,while so august a personage as ,john ,water1 ,mayor of ,cork1 is thinking twice ere he acts once1 ,sketon thus boldly and tailor-like cuts out the habit of invasion1 and prepares the garb of victory3--8',tis but going to sea1 and leaping ashore10 saith he2 8cut ten or twelve thousand unnecessary throats1 fire seven or eight towns1 take half-a-dozen cities1 get him into the market-place1 crown him ,richard the ,fourth1 and the business is finished60 ,is not this a man whom ,nature intended for a commander-in-chief8 ,he is not only quick of resolution1 but of action2 and yet1 ,i dare be sworn1 ,sketon had read nothing of what ,caius ,crispus ,sallust says thereupon4 ,and ,i beseech you to mark one thing more4 ,you know that when the foolish ,roman ,emperor would not permit the statue of ,brutus to be borne in the funeral procession of ,britannicus1 lest the people should think too much upon that imperatoricide1 the obstinate and vulgar rogues thought all the more upon him and his deeds1 for the very reason that his statue did not figure among those of other heroes4 ,so in the above heart-stirring speech of valiant ,sketon1 we miss something which reveals to us how chaste and chivalrous a soldier was the grandson of ,feeble4 ,his views go to bold invasion1 to the burning of towns1 and the sacking of cities1 and to splendid victory1 built upon the cutting of throats1 which he nicely1 and as it were apologetically for the act1 describes as 8unnecessary throats40 ,a taste of the quality of the roystering soldier is perhaps to be found in this speech2 but you are entreated to remark1 that all the vengeance of the tailor is directed solely against his enemy1 man4 ,the women1 it is evident1 have nothing to fear at the hands of ,sketon4 ,he does not mention rudeness to them1 just as the ancient legislator did not provide against parricide1 simply because1 judging from his own heart1 he deemed the crime impossible4 ,sketon and ,scipio deserve to go down to posterity hand in hand1 as respecters of timid beauty4 ,there was a ,persian victor1 too1 who would not look upon the faces of his fair captives1 lest he should be tempted to violate the principles of propriety4 ,sketon was bolder1 and not less virtuous4 ,to my thinking1 he is the ,bayard of tailors4 ,it would wrong him to compare him even with ,joseph ,andrews2 and ,i will only add that if old ,tilly1 at ,magdeburg1 had been influenced by the virtue of ,sketon1 there might not have been less weeping for lost lovers1 but there would have been more maidens left to sit down in cypress1 and mourn for them4 ,sketon1 foremost in fight1 is first to hail the man whom he takes for prince1 when victory has induced the ,cornish men of mettle to proclaim at ,bodnam1 ,richard ,,iv4 8monarch of ,england1 and king of hearts40 ,jubilant in success1 he does not complain when ,fortune veils her face4 ,defeat and captivity are accepted with dignity when they are compelled upon him2 and when swift death is to be the doom of himself and companions1 he does not object to the philosophical disquisition of his old leader and fellow-sufferer1 ,perkin1 that death by the sword1 whereby the 8pain is past ere sensibly 'tis felt10 is far preferable to being slowly slain at home by the doctors4 ,for he says3-- 8,to tumble ,from bed to bed1 be massacred alive ,by some physicians1 for a month or two1 ,in hope of freedom from a fever's torments1 ,might stagger manhood40 ,and accordingly ,sketon follows ,warbeck to death without a remnant of fear2 and ,i must add1 that ,henry ,,vii4 showed little generosity when he remarked upon their executions1 as he sat comfortably at home1 8,that public states1 ,as our particular bodies1 taste most good ,in health1 when purged of corrupted blood40 ,ford1 the dramatic poet1 offers indirect testimony to the morality of the ,english tailor1 by his introduction of a ,french member of the fraternity in #8,the ,sun's ,darling4' ,the author calls his piece a moral masque2 but ,monsieur le ,tailleur utters some very immoral matter in it1 such1 it may fairly be supposed1 as he could not have put into the mouth of a kinsman of ,starveling4 ,massinger's tailors again show that they were as much the victims of their customers as their descendants are now2 and the 8,who suffers80--the facetious query of ,mr4 ,pierce ,egan's #8,tom and ,jerry1'--would have been quite as appropriate a way of asking the name of a 8,corinthian's0 tailor two centuries ago4 8,i am bound t'ye1 gentlemen10 says the grateful builder of doublets and trunkhose to his lordly customers4 8,you are deceived10 is the comment of the page2 8they'll be bound to you2 you must remember to trust them none40 ,the scene here1 it is true1 is in ,dijon2 but ,massinger1 like ,plautus1 portrayed his country's manner in scenes and personages drawn from other climes4 ,this is easily to be discerned in the former author's play of #8,the ,old ,law4' ,the scene is laid in ,epirus4 ,a tailor waits upon the young ,simonides1 who has just joyfully inherited the paternal estate2 but the youthful courtier despises the operative employed by his sire4 8,thou mad'st my father's clothes10 he says4-- 8,that ,i confess4 ,but what son and heir will have his father's tailor1 ,unless he have a mind to be well laugh'd at8 ,thou hast been so used to wide long-side things1 that1 when ,i come to truss1 ,i shall have the waist of my doublet ,lie on my buttocks2--a sweet sight60 ,this is purely descriptive1 not of ,epirote1 but of old ,english costume4 ,the former never changed2 our fashions have constantly varied2 and the very long-waisted doublet scorned by ,simonides1 who talks like the rakish heir of an old ,cheapside drysalter1 has descended from the saloon to the stables4 ,it was once worn by lords2 it is now carried by grooms4 ,but perhaps1 on the question of fashions1 the remark of the simple-minded tailor in ,beaumont and ,fletcher's #8,fair ,maid of the ,inn1' who is duped so consumedly by ,ferabosco the mountebank1 is very apt to the matter4 ,he has travelled1 and is willing even to go to the moon1 in search of strange and exquisite new fashions2 but1 as he says1 8all we can see or invent are but old ones with new names to 'em40 ,the poets ,i have last mentioned exhibit quite as great a contempt for chronology as any of their harmonious fellows4 ,thus1 ,blacksnout1 the ,roman blacksmith1 in the #8,faithful ,friends1' living when ,titus ,martius was ,king of ,rome1 tells ,snipsnap1 the ,latin tailor1 that he had not only been in battle1 but had been shot 8with a bullet as big as a penny loaf20 he adds1 with much circumstance3-- 8',twas at the siege of ,bunnill1 passing the straits ',twixt ,mayor's-lane and ,tierra del ,fuego1 ,the fiery isle60 ,snipsnap is the tailor of the poets' own period4 ,he calls for drink with the airy freedom of a be-plumed gallant1 pays magnanimously1 as be-plumed gallants did not1 cuts jokes like a court-jester1 and boasts that he can 8finish more suits in a year than any two lawyers in the town40 ,blacksnout's remark in reply1 that 8lawyers and tailors have their several hells10 is rather complimentary than otherwise to the last-named gentle craft2 for it places the tailor1 who exercises the time-honoured observance of 8cabbage10 on a level with the lawyer1 who purchases his luxuries through the process of partially stripping his clients4 ,the 8hell0 here named is supposed to be the place wherein both lawyers and tailors put those shreds1 of which ,lisauro speaks in the #8,maid in the ,mill3'-- 8,the shreds of what he steals from us1 believe it1 ,make him a mighty man40 ,ben ,jonson alludes to this particular locality in #8,the ,staple of ,news4' ,fashioner waiting past the appointed time upon ,pennyboy1 ,jun41 compensates for his dilatoriness by perpetrating a witticism1 and the young gentleman remarks thereupon3-- 8,that jest ,has gain'd thy pardon2 thou hadst lived condemn'd ,to thine own hell else40 ,fashioner was like ,mr4 ,joy1 the ,cambridge tailor of an olden time4 ,if that hilarious craftsman had promised a suit to be ready for a ball1 and did not bring it home till the next morning at breakfast1 his stereotyped phrase ever took the form of--8,sorrow endureth for a night1 but #8,joy' cometh with the morning60 ,but1 to return to the hades of tailors4 ,the reader will doubtless remember that ,ralph1 the doughty squire of ,hudibras1 had been originally of the following of the needle1 and-- 8,an equal stock of wit and valour ,he had laid in1 by birth a tailor40 ,ralph dated his ancestry from the immediate heir of ,dido1 from whom 8descended cross-legg'd knights1 ,famed for their faith40 ,and then are we told1 with rich ,hudibrastic humour1 that ,ralph1 the ex-tailor1 was like neas the ,pious1 for-- 8,this sturdy squire1 he had1 as well ,as the bold ,trojan knight1 seen hell20 which locality1 as connected with the handicraftsman1 is described as being the place where tailors deposit their perquisites4 ,we have digressed a little from ,snipsnap1 the ,english tailor1 whom ,beaumont and ,fletcher have placed with other thoroughly ,english artisans in the piece already named1 #8,the ,faithful ,friends4' ,snipsnap holds his profession to be above that of a soldier1 but yet modestly excuses himself from fighting1 on the score that1 although a tailor1 he is not a gentleman4 ,being provoked1 however1 he knocks down the rude offender1 and has a thorough contempt for the constable1--a contempt in the entertaining of which he is so well justified by the logical remark of ,blacksnout3-- 8,a constable's ,an ass4 ,i've been a constable myself40 ,the bravery of ,snipsnap is a true bravery3 he is conscious of the peril in which he stands as a soldier1 and1 ere going into action1 bethinks him of old prophecies that he should be slain2 but when he pictures to himself the public scorn that ever follows cowardice1 and that1 if he and his fellows be poltroons1 every wench in ,rome will fling dirt at them as they pass by1 saying1 8,there are the soldiers who durst not draw their blades10 then is the heroic soul fired1 and ,snipsnap exclaims3-- 8,but they shall find we dare1 and strike home too3 ,i am now resolved1 and will be valiant2 ,this bodkin quilts their skin as full of holes ,as e'er was canvas doublet40 8,spoke like a bold man1 ,snip60 says ,bellario1 the old soldier4 ,ay1 and like a discreet and thinking man4 ,there is no foolhardiness and rash action in ,snipsnap2 but1 like the greatest of heroes1 he looks his peril calmly in the face1 and then encounters it with a gallantry that is not to be resisted4 ,and it is to be observed that the tailors of the poets are as generous as they are brave4 ,witness ,vertigo in #8,the ,maid in the ,mill2' the lords among whom he stands owe him money1 and yet affect to have forgotten his name4 ,one of them ventures1 indeed1 to hope that he has not come to press his claims2 and what says this very pearl and quintessence of tailors8 8,good faith1 the least thought in my heart2 your love1 gentlemen1 ,your love's enough for me4 ,money8 hang money6 ,let me preserve your love60 ,incomparable ,vertigo6 ,what a trade might he drive in ,london upon those terms6 ,a waistcoat for a good opinion1 a fashionable coat for esteem1 and a full-dress suit to be paid for with the wearer's love1 in a promissory note made payable at sight6 ,vertigo understands the dignity of his profession2 indeed1 he wears a double dignity1 for he is a 8woman's tailor10 as well as 8man's20 and when he is about to measure ,florimel1 how bravely does he bid the lords 8stand out o' th' light60 ,how gallantly does he promise the lady when he swears--or asserts rather 7for the tailors of the poets never swear1--that is1 never swear profanely2 they are like the nun in ,chaucer1 whose prettiest oath was but 8by ,st4 ,eloy607--when he asserts then that she has 8the neatest body in ,spain this day20 and further1 when ,otrante1 the ,spanish ,count1 in love with ,florimel1 remarks that happily his wardrobe1 with the tailor's help1 may fit her instantly1 what self-dignity in the first line of the reply1 and what philosophy in the second6-- 8,if ,i fit her not1 your wardrobe cannot2 ,and if the fashion be not there1 you mar her40 ,ben ,jonson does the trade full justice with regard to their possession of generosity2 thus1 in #8,every ,man ,out of his ,humour1' ,fungoso not only flatters the tailor who constructed his garment out of the money due for its fashioning1 but he borrows some ready cash of him besides4 ,upon this hint did ,sheridan often act2 and thus posterity suffers through the vices as through the weaknesses of our ancestors4 ,but the philosophical spirit of the true artistic tailor has been as little neglected by rare ,ben1 8the ,canary-bird10 as the same artist's generosity4 ,the true philosophy of dress is to be found in a speech of ,fashioner's1 in the #8,staple of ,news1' and which speech is in reply to the remark of young ,pennyboy1 that the new clothes he has on make him feel wittier than usual3 8,believe it1 ,sir10 says ,fashioner1 8,that clothes do much upon the wit1 as weather ,does on the brain2 and thence1 ,sir1 comes your proverb1 ,the tailor makes the man4 ,i speak by experience ,of my own customers4 ,i have had gallants1 ,both court and country would have fool'd you up1 ,in a new suit1 with the best wits in being1 ,and kept their speed as long as their clothes lasted1 ,handsome and neat2 but then as they grew out ,at the elbows again1 or had a stain or spot1 ,they have sunk most wretchedly40 ,the policy of the tailor is as good as his philosophy1 and has the same end in view1 for ,pennyboy exultingly says3-- 8,i wonder gentlemen ,and men of means will not maintain themselves ,fresher in wit1 ,i mean in clothes1 to the highest2 ,for he that's out of clothes is out of fashion2 ,and out of fashion is out of countenance2 ,and out of countenance is out of wit40 ,and the moral of all is1 that if a man would prosper in the world1 he should1 at all events1 not neglect his tailor4 ,of all the poets yet named1 ,ben ,jonson is the only one who introduces a somewhat dishonest tailor1 ,nick ,stuff1 in #8,the ,new ,inn2' but ,apollo was angry at the liberty1 and visited the poet with the retributive damnation of the piece4 ,stuff is a 8woman's tailor20 we have none such now in ,england1 except as makers of ladies' riding habits4 ,they are rare in ,france1 but there are as many women's tailors as female dressmakers in ,vienna2 and the latter often order the tailors to take measure for and cut out the dresses1 which the female sewers then1 to use a ,french term1 confection4 ,nick ,stuff used to attire his wife ,pinnacia in all the new gowns he made2 and in ever-changing and gallant bravery ,pinnacia--but let her describe ,nick's ways of vanity after her own fashion3-- 8,it is a foolish trick1 madam1 he has2 ,for though he be your tailor1 he is my beast2 ,i may be bold with him1 and tell his story4 ,when he makes any fine garment will fit me1 ,or any rich thing that he thinks of price1 ,then must ,i put it on and be his #8,countess1' ,before he carry it home unto the owners4 ,a coach is hired and four horse2 he runs ,in his velvet jacket thus1 to ,romford1 ,croydon1 ,hounslow1 or ,barnet40 ,pinnacia proceeds to portray further excesses1 but ,i think there must be some exaggeration in this2 and for this the poet was punished by the condemnation of his piece4 ,the thing is as clear as logical deduction can make it4 ,the #8,new ,inn' contained great reproach against the tailors3 the #8,new ,inn' was hissed off the stage3 argal1 for a poet to speak reproachfully of tailors1 is to bring down ruin upon his head6 ,this deductive process is borrowed from ,cardinal ,wiseman2 and if it be found defective1 ,i beg to shield myself under that gentleman's eminent authority4 ,it is something like accounting for ,tenterden steeple by ,goodwin ,sands2 but of course ,i cannot help that4 ,let the candidate for the tiara look to it6 ,taking ,nick ,stuff as a true sample of those of his craft1 who formed the exception to the general rule of professional honesty1 ,i must say for such as he1 that if he were a knave1 it was because for years he had had an evil example before his eyes in the persons of men better off than himself1 who had not his plea of small means and long credit as an excuse for bettering his condition at the public cost4 ,if the fashioners of clothes were sometimes not so careful as they might be in the application of the principle of honesty1 the makers of the cloth were infinitely worse4 ,they lay under the imputation of being universally fraudulent4 ,we have no better1 and need no better1 proof on this matter1 than what is afforded us by the testimony of good old ,latimer1 who had a sharp eye to detect vice1 and a bold tongue to denounce it4 ,in his third sermon preached before ,king ,edward ,,vi41 there is the following graphic passage3--8,i hear say that there is a certain cunning come up in the mixing of wares4 ,how say you8--were it not a wonder to hear that clothmakers should become 'pothecaries1 yea1 and as ,i hear say1 in such a place whereat they have professed the ,gospel and the word of ,god most earnestly of a long time40 ,and then the preacher1 after some animadversions on the devil1--whom he styles in another sermon as the only prelate he knows who is never absent from his diocese1 nor idle when in it1--thus proceeds3--8,if his cloth be seventeen yards long1 he will set it on a rack1 and stretch it out with ropes1 and rack it till the sinews shrink again1 till he hath brought it to eighteen yards4 ,when they have brought it to that perfection1 they have a pretty feat to thick it again4 ,he makes me a powder for it1 and plays the 'pothecary4 ,they call it flock-powder4 ,they do so incorporate it to the cloth1 that it is wonderful to consider4 ,truly1 a good invention6 ,oh that so goodly wits should be so ill applied6 they may well deceive the people1 but they cannot deceive ,god4 ,they were wont to make beds of flock1 and it was a good bed1 too2 now they have turned the flock into powder1 to play the false thieves with it4 ,these mixtures come of covetousness4 ,they are plain theft40 ,from this singular passage it is apparent that what is popularly known at ,manchester as 8devil's dust10 was an invention which the cotton lords of today have inherited from their fathers in ,mammon1 the cloth lords of some three centuries ago4 ,that ever-active prelate1 the devil1 is therefore as busily engaged in his diocese now as he was in the days whose doings are condemned by ,latimer4 ,in some respects however there is improvement1 if we may believe the assertion made by ,mr4 ,thackeray1 in his #8,essays on the ,essayists1' to the effect that even hermits out at elbows would lose their respectability now if they were to attempt to cheat their tailors4 ,other men succeed in doing so1 without forfeiting the privilege conceded by ,mark ,antony to ,brutus of being 8an honourable man40 ,charles ,lamb remarks1 in his #8,essay on the ,melancholy of ,tailors1' that 8drink itself does not seem to elevate him40 ,this assertion seems contrary to that in the acting tragedy of #8,tom ,thumb1' wherein ,queen ,dolalolla so enthusiastically exclaims3-- 8,perdition catch the railers6 ,we'll have a row1 and get as drunk as tailors40 ,it is to be observed1 however1 that ,fielding is not responsible for this illustration1 which has been made by some adapter1 who has had the temerity to do for the heroic tragedy in question what ,cibber did for #8,richard1' and ,tate for old #8,king ,lear4' ,the lines however were delicious when ,wilkinson played ,queen ,dolalolla in the tragedy-style of ,peg ,woffington4 ,the illustration is insulting2 and therefore is it anonymous4 ,the poets generally have1 as ,i have shown1 been complimentary to the tailors4 ,few of the sons of song have reviled the true 8makers of men40 ,when they have done so1 they have not dared to expose themselves to the sartorian wrath by boldly avowing their name4 ,none ever did so on so extensive a scale as the author of the three-act piece1 called #8,the ,tailors3 a ,tragedy for ,warm ,weather2' and no author has remained so utterly uncomeatable by the public curiosity4 ,what is the mystery about ,junius1 touching whom there are a thousand guesses1 compared with the greater impenetrability of this secret author1 about whom no man ever heard a conjecture8 ,it is now nearly ninety years ago since a manuscript was sent from ,dodsley's shop to ,foote1 the manager of the 8,little ,haymarket40 ,the manuscript was that of the ,warm ,weather ,tragedy1 and ,foote was requested to return the copy if it were not approved of4 ,the great comedian knew better4 ,the burlesque play of the anonymous author was acted with a strong cast4 ,foote himself was the ,francesco2 ,shuter played ,abrahamides1 the ,flint2 ,western did justice to ,jackides2 old ,bannister was ponderous as ,campbello2 and gay ,jack ,palmer was just the man to enact that ,lothario of stage-tailors1 the seductive ,isaacos4 ,mrs4 ,jeffries represented the false wife ,dorothea1 and ,mrs4 ,gardner the faithful maid ,titillinda4 ,it was said by the critics of the period1 that the radical fault of this burlesque play was1 that 8in burlesque1 the characters ought to be persons of consequence1 instead of which they are here tailors20 but the truth is1 that the fault lies in the fact1 that the tailors talk as correctly as persons of consequence1 and are not half so bombastic as ,nat ,lee's kings and queens4 ,the profession exhibited much unnecessary susceptibility in being offended at this piece4 ,its tendency1 if it have any at all1 is rather to elevate than depress the public appreciation for the tailor1 whether in his aspect of master or of 8,flint0 out upon strike4 ,the entire action is devoted to the history of a strike for wages1 with a supplemental love-plot annexed4 ,the head master-tailor is a highly respectable individual1 who has our sympathy because he is betrayed by his wife2 and the chief ,flint wins admiration1 because he gets hanged and is cheated out of his mistress4 ,the strike ends unfavourably for those who make it2 but though the author sets out with the determination to render all his dramatis person ridiculous1 he cannot do it4 ,he is like the prophet who was compelled to vaticinate against his inclinations2 and the deity of dramatic poetry and tailors compels him to reverence where he would fain have committed desecration4 ,the very first sentence in this play contains an allusion to ,elliott's brigade1 that famous band of warriors made up almost entirely of tailors4 ,i must refer my readers to the piece itself1 if they be curious to see how the subject is treated in evident contrariety to the author's own design2 he makes all the characters utter commonplace common sense1 when his intention was to make them lose themselves upon stilts in a sea of tropes1 tirades1 and thunderings against tyranny4 ,the antiquarian will not fail to notice that ,bedfordbury is a locality set down in this piece as a place where tailors' men did congregate some century ago4 ,they still much do congregate on the same spot4 ,a century before the period of the piece1 ,frank ,kynaston1 the poet1 resided in a house adjacent to the 8,bury10 and the memory thereof is still kept up in the name ,kynaston-alley1 which is within that same 8,bury0 of classical associations4 ,thus do tailoring and the belles lettres continue to be in close connection2 and where ,kynaston's muse kept itself warm1 the sacred goose of the schneider still glows with fervid heat4 ,the operatives of the 8,bury10 moreover1 look as much like poets as tailors1--so abstract are they of air1 so romantically heedless of personal appearance1 and so unromantically and really 8half-starved40 ,not of them can be said what ,titillinda says of ,abrahamides-- 8,whose form might claim attention even from queens40 ,finally3 want of space1 and not of material1 brings that troublesome adverb upon me4 ,if it be objected1 that the tailors of the poets do sometimes waver in critical situations1 and condescend to tremble in presence of emergency1 ,i have to answer1 that such facts prove their heroism1 as being akin to that of the ,conqueror and ,cur de ,lion4 ,when the former was being crowned at ,york1 he heard such an uproar in the streets1 caused by the massacre of the inhabitants by the amiable ,normans1 that he sat upon his throne shaking with affright2 8vehementer tremens10 says ,orderic ,vitalis1 and he is very good authority4 ,as for that tinselled bully1 ,richard1 nobody doubts his single virtue--courage2 but bold as he was1 we all know that when in ,sicily1 he discreetly ran away from a bumpkin who threatened to cudgel him for attempting a matter of petty larceny4 ,francis ,feeble and his brethren may1 therefore1 not be ashamed if they have foibles in common with ,william of ,normandy and ,richard of ,bordeaux4 ,dr4 ,o4 ,wendell ,holmes has cleverly conjectured what a tailor1 poetically given1 might say of the beauties that cluster about the closing day2 and he has thus described ,evening4 ,,by ,a ,,tailor4 8,day hath put on his jacket1 and around ,his burning bosom button'd it with stars4 ,here will ,i lay me on the velvet grass1 ,that is like padding to earth's meagre ribs1 ,and hold communion with the things about me4 ,ah me6 how lovely is the golden braid ,that binds the skirt of night's descending robe6 ,the thin leaves1 quivering on their silken threads1 ,do make a music like to rustling satin1 ,as the light breezes smooth their downy nap4 8,ha6 what is this that rises to my touch1 ,so like a cushion8 ,can it be a cabbage8 ,it is2 it is that deeply-injured flower ,which boys do flout us with2--but yet ,i love thee1 ,thou giant rose1 wrapped in a green surtout4 ,doubtless in ,eden thou didst blush as bright ,as these1 thy puny brethren2 and thy breath ,sweeten'd the fragrance of her spicy air2 ,but now1 thou seemest like a bankrupt beau ,stripp'd of his gaudy hues and essences1 ,and growing portly in his sober garments4 8,is that a swan that rides upon the water8 ,oh no6 it is that other gentle bird1 ,which is the patron of our noble calling4 ,i well remember1 in my early years1 ,when these young hands first closed upon a goose2 ,i have a scar upon my thimble-finger1 ,which chronicles the hour of young ambition4 ,my father was a tailor1 and his father1 ,and my sire's grandsire1--all of them were tailors2 ,they had an ancient goose1--it was an heirloom ,from some remoter tailor of our race4 ,it happen'd ,i did see it on a time ,when none was near1 and ,i did deal with it1 ,and it did burn me1--oh1 most fearfully6 8,it is a joy to straighten out one's limbs1 ,and leap elastic from the level counter1 ,leaving the petty grievances of earth1 ,the breaking thread1 the din of clashing shears1 ,and all the needles that do wound the spirit1 ,for such an hour of soothing silence4 ,kind ,nature1 shuffling in her loose undress1 ,lays bare her shady bosom2 ,i can feel ,with all around me2 ,i can hail the flowers ,that sprig earth's mantle2 and yon quiet bird1 ,that rides the stream1 is to me as a brother4 ,the vulgar know not all the hidden pockets1 ,where ,nature stows away her loveliness4-- ,but this unnatural posture of the legs ,cramps my extended calves1 and ,i must go ,where ,i can coil them in their wonted fashion40 ,to conclude3 the poets have been quite as guilty of petty larceny as ever was poor tailor4 ,pope stole from ,pascal1 and ,addison from ,pope2 and ,churchill's line in his ,rosciad1 to the effect that 8,common sense stood trembling at the door10 is a plagiarism from ,george ,alexander ,stevens's #8,distress upon ,distress2 or ,tragedy in ,true ,taste4' ,this is more of 8cabbage10 and less of coincidence1 than the line in one of the #8,roxburgh ,ballads' anent tailors1 wherein we find an allusion in the phrase 8turn up my ten toes10 which is1 as nearly as possible1 a translation of part of the ladies' threat in the #8,lysistra' of ,aristophanes4 ,altogether a volume might be filled with examples to prove that poetry and tailoring have one spirit in common4 ,but it is time to turn from poetry to prose1 and come more nearly to our subject 8touching tailors40 ,we will take individually those whose great deeds have shed glory on the craft4 ,first on the roll of fame is noble ,hawkwood4 ,,sir ,,john ,,hawkwood1 ,,the ,,heroic ,,tailor4 8,the dew of grace bless our new knight today40 ,,beaumont ,,and ,,fletcher3 ,knight of ,malta4 ,on the #ajth day of ,august1 #affh1 ,mr4 ,samuel ,pepys passed a portion of his morning at ,goring ,house1 the mansion of ,lord ,arlington1 a nobleman who conversed with him amicably1 and introduced him to other lords1 with whom the gallant secretary prattled after his fashion1 to say nothing of the flattery and compliments paid him by ,lord ,orrery4 ,in the afternoon we find him at ,cooper's1 the miniature painter's1 who was painting the portrait of that excellent lady ,mrs4 ,pepys4 ,the portrait was excellent in every way1 save that it was not like ,mr4 ,pepys's wife1 and that she wore a blue garment1 which he could not bear4 ,however1 the courteous husband paid #ch4 #cs4 #d;d4 for the picture1 crystal1 and case1 that he might1 as he prudently says1 be out of the painter's debt2 and thereupon he adds3--8,home to supper1 and my wife to read a ridiculous book ,i bought today of the ,history of the ,taylors' ,company40 ,the title of the book which ,mrs4 ,pepys read aloud to her husband1 and which is a book that a lady might well blush to read either aloud or to herself1 runs as follows3--#8,the ,honour of the ,merchant ,taylors2 wherein is set forth1 the noble arts1 valiant deeds1 and heroic performances of ,merchant ,taylors in former ages2 their honourable loves and knightly adventures1 their combating of foreign enemies1 and glorious successes in honour of the ,english nation2 together with their pious acts and large benevolences1 their building of publick structures1 especially that of ,blackwell ,hall1 to be a market-place for the selling of woollen cloaths4 ,written by ,william ,winstanley4 ,london1 #affh1 #hvo4 ,with the head of ,sir ,ralph ,blackwell1 with a gold chain1 arms of ,london on the right1 and of the ,merchant ,taylors on the left4' ,just twenty years later another volume was printed with nearly a similar title4 ,the alleged object was to give a biography of the renowned tailor and soldier1 ,sir ,john ,hawkwood2 and for this reason we will give the later work priority of notice4 ,there will be amusement1 if not instruction1 in remarking how exquisitely our ancestors wrote biographical works in the days of dark ,king ,james4 ,this black-letter biography describes ,hawkwood as a modest tailor lad who fell honestly in love with his master's daughter1 ,dorinda4 ,but ,dorinda had a soul above buttons1 and having given up her heart unasked to ,impolite1 a young1 foolish heir1 she cut the thread of ,hawkwood's desire with the shears of cruelty1 and tore away from his protestations in a heat that even the paternal goose had never known4 ,hawkwood1 for a gallant man1 committed an ungallant action2 he discovered the lover of ,dorinda by reading the correspondence locked up in the lady's cabinet1 and he avenged himself by writing a note in the lady's name which brought poor ,impolite to a meeting1 whereat he was seized and led to a madhouse as incurably insane through the sweet passion of love4 ,the victim was subjected to a treatment which would undoubtedly have rendered a sane man mad1 but he prattled so respectfully of medicines to the doctor1 that the latter dismissed him as 8cured40 ,in the meantime ,dorinda refused to ratify her bond with a discharged lunatic2 and the uncle of ,impolite1 a sort of melodramatic ,gaspero1 hired two ruffians1 ,bragwell and ,daniel1 to mutilate ,hawkwood1 as a punishment for his having been the cause of the breaking off of the match4 ,these gentlemen fell upon the bold young tailor as1 8ever frolic and gay10 he was returning from ,green-,goose ,fair1 held at ,bow1 on ,st4 ,wilielmus's day1 8so much honoured by the tailors as their patron40 ,but the ruffians found a ,tartar1 and ,hawkwood incontinently slew both4 ,the gallant apprentice1 having slept upon the matter1 resolved to go abroad1 in order to avoid unpleasant inquiries2 and having composed a score of execrable verses to his mistress1 wherein he committed worse murder upon the ,muses than before upon the ruffians1 and having thrust the same under the bedroom-door of the cruel ,dorinda1 he went his solitary way with a heavy heart and a small bundle under his arm4 ,winstanley1 the author of this delectable bit of historical romance1 exhibits a merry trait of originality by suddenly announcing that the murdered ruffians were1 after all1 like our friend ,mr4 ,john ,robinson in the song1 8not dead at all20 and delicately does he narrate how those respectable individuals1 by coming to themselves1 found that they were in the very worst possible society4 ,forthwith they slew a sheep1 and having cut out the heart thereof1 they exhibited the same to ,gaspero1 as the heart of the valiant tailor1 and received from their employer not only their wages of sin1 but an invitation to stay and dine and spend the night at his house4 ,the ruffians having been soon after got out of the way1 ,gaspero took to seeing ghosts and other unpleasant things1 by way of showing his remorse for having been accessory to the murder of a tailor4 ,but in the meantime his supposed victim was mirthfully passing from inn to inn2 and as those establishments were ever furnished with a haunted room1 it was his humour to sleep in the same1 and lay the ghosts and other spirits which he found there4 ,soon1 weary of this life ashore1 ,hawkwood took to the sea1 accompanied by ,lovewell1 another young tailor1 and another victim of the gentle vision1 who had unsuccessfully endeavoured to sun himself in a ,lamira's eyes4 ,at the conclusion of the voyage1 the adventurous youths landed in ,ireland1 and became 'squires of dames1 taking up their quarrels1 fighting in their behalf against any odds1 and performing wonderful actions1 such as could only have been imagined by the most unscrupulous of liars4 ,when ,pelion has been mounted upon ,ossa1 and the heap of mendacity is reared to a sufficiently stupendous height1 the author grows tired of romantic fibbing1 and descends to the lie commonplace4 ,he brings his heroes to ,england1 and with them two pages1 who had joined their slim selves to the heroic tailor-knights' fortunes2 and who of course turn out1 as is perfectly natural1 to be ,dorinda and ,lamira in disguise4 ,then1 at the end of the first act of the drama1 there is a double wedding1 a dance of characters1 and an elaborate detail of after circumstances which ,i will not pause to relate4 ,such was the treatment which ,hawkwood and history received at the hands of an anonymous author in the year #afhg4 ,the volume in question1 of which there are two copies in the ,british ,museum1 is1 in fact1 a coarsely printed black-letter tract2 the paper such as even a modern grocer would turn up his nose at2 and the woodcuts violating every propriety1 regardless at once of perspective and humanity4 ,the volume however which ,mrs4 ,pepys read to her husband is worse in every respect4 ,there is a copy in the ,guildhall ,library2 and ,i have to thank the most courteous of librarians1 ,mr4 ,allchin1 for the opportunity ,i have enjoyed of perusing it4 ,perhaps the second edition1 of which ,i have spoken above1 was prepared expressly for the benefit of the youthful mind4 ,the first is certainly bad enough to pollute the minds of all who read or listened to the reader4 ,i will only add1 that the illustrating artist has been so hard put to it1 that he frequently makes one design represent two different events1 the scenes of which are wide apart4 ,he might have alleged one thing in favour of his so doing2 namely1 that the illustration in question quite as truthfully represented one scene with the actors therein1 as it did the other4 ,of this there can be no doubt2 and ,i may further add1 in behalf of the pictorial illustrations1 that they assuredly did not offend against the second commandment1 for there is nothing in them that is a likeness of anything in heaven above1 or in the earth beneath1 or in the waters under the earth2 and if it be an old joke to say so1 it is1 at all events1 better than any of the jokes to be found in the volume which ,mrs4 ,pepys read with complacency to that wicked little man1 her redoubtable husband4 ,the true story of ,john ,hawkwood needs no romance to lend it brightness1 or season it with wonders4 ,it has marvels enough of its own2 and these1 redolent of romance1 are1 in fact1 sober and incontrovertible truth4 ,if ,essex has been famous for calves1 it has also had its share of heroes2 heroes 7if one may say so7 in evil as in good2 with its very villages producing them1 and that in the humblest localities4 ,if ,frinton rejoices because of ,cornelius and ,tilbury1 the poison swallowers1 ,sible ,hedingham is glad because of ,john ,hawkwood1 the tailor and soldier4 ,in the village last-named1 and in the reign of ,edward the ,second1 there lived a tanner called ,gilbert ,hawkwood4 ,his vocation not being a profitable one1 he resolved that it should not be followed by his son4 ,the latter1 instead of tanning hides of brutes1 was taught the mystery of covering those of men4 ,in simple1 honest ,english1 he was apprenticed to a tailor2 and did not at all like it4 ,cornhill was at that time the stage whereon tailors most did congregate2 and as troops were constantly passing that way1 to and from the vicinity of the tower1 ,john ,hawkwood1 wherever he met with them1 sighed as he contrasted their jolly swash-buckler sort of air with his own melancholy look1 gait1 and calling4 ,the ,king1 ,edward the ,third1 was then waging a most unjust war with ,france1 and needed soldiers to champion his bad cause4 ,hawkwood recked little of the merits of the quarrel1 but when a roving party of heroes pressed him to join1 he met them more than half-way2 and never was he more jubilant than when he changed his 'prentice muffin-cap for a peaked morrion1 his dark rags for a gay suit1 and a sword and a shield were the implements of his work1 instead of a needle and thimble4 ,now young ,hawkwood was not a lad to be satisfied with being simply a 8man-at-arms40 ,michel1 in the ,french play1 when he recounts how he was pressed into the service1 says1 8,mon ,gnral me nomma soldat2 mais ma nomination n'a pas eu de suite40 ,the boy from ,sible ,hedingham was made of other stuff than that which could make him be content with singing1 like the pleasant gentleman in the #8,dame ,blanche1'--8,ah6 quel plaisir d'tre soldat60 ,he was resolved to lead as well as serve2 and he served well1 to give him the better chance of leading4 ,it is the only policy that permanently succeeds4 ,officers were not dainty in those days1 either of speech or anything else4 ,difficult as they were to satisfy1 ,hawkwood accomplished it4 ,the man who laid on his blows with such good heart1 and thwacked the foe so lustily and to excellent purpose1 albeit in anything but an excellent cause1 was a man whose sword was sure to carve out fortune for him4 ,accordingly1 he soon passed from poor private to plumed captain4 ,his purse was not much the better filled because of his brighter corslet and his new feathers2 and as the foe he had to encounter was as badly furnished as himself1 he got abundance of honour1 but few pistoles4 ,the ,king beheld him mowing down adversaries1 as though he had been expressly engaged by ,death to gather in his harvest4 ,on the battle-field1 the royal ,edward dubbed the tailor knight4 8,thou art the bravest knight10 said he1 8in all the army40 8,umph60 murmured the cavalier of the needle1 8and the poorest too60 ,but he had what to a brave man was better than bezants1 dearer than dollars1 and above marks and moidores1--he had praise from the ,black ,prince4 ,that chivalric personage was perfectly ecstatic at witnessing the deeds which ,hawkwood enacted on the bloody1 but glorious1 day at ,poitiers4 ,the praise enriched him as though it had been pistoles4 ,what baron1 standing in need of a gentleman cut-throat1 would hesitate to engage1 at any cost 7it was only promising and breaking a pledge71 a man with a sharp sword and a stout arm1 who had a verbal character from such a master as he whose sword is now rusting in peace above the time-honoured tomb at ,canterbury8 ,hawkwood needed some such testimony4 ,the ,peace of ,bretigny had been ratified in #acfj2 and they who before had not had leisure to be ill1 were all becoming seriously indisposed for want of action4 ,as employment did not come1 they made it for themselves4 ,if kings could be stupendous scamps1 why not commoner men8 ,they waited long enough1 as they thought1 for hire for their swords1 till at last they put the latter to private use4 ,a band was formed1 and called 8,les ,tards ,venus10--the 8,come-at-,lasts10--as if apologetically and modestly expressive of their patience4 ,some people would have been the better pleased had the self-styled tardy gentlemen been content to 8wait a little longer40 ,the more learned members of the society1 perhaps the chaplains1 called the band the 8,magna ,comitiva10 or 8,great ,band40 ,a greater band of brigands certainly never existed1 the chaplains included6 ,when it is thus said of those worthy gentlemen1 of course the expression is based upon the principles1 and measured by the standard1 of these our own later and degenerate days4 ,hawkwood and his truculent friends thought they had a vested right to remain in undisturbed possession of every castle1 their ownership of which was founded on their having murdered the last proprietor at his own hearth4 ,we have foolish ideas on such matters2 and we must only judge of these perfect gentlemen1--so at least historians tell us1--not by the criterion of that ,christianity which they professed1 but by the customs which they observed4 ,as ,mr4 ,justice ,erle remarked the other day1 we shall soon have thieves pleading the custom of ,hounslow ,heath4 ,hawkwood was one of the most terrible of those men who either made war on their own account1 or let out their swords and sinews in the service of any party who promised to pay them1 and guaranteed the plunder4 ,he became awfully renowned under the not very menacing title of 8,john of the ,needle40 ,but his needle was four feet long2 and if to 8sew up0 a person means to slay him1 the phrase probably had its origin from the times and the actions of this most ruthless of tailors4 ,he swept1 with his ,english followers1 the south of ,france2 where the sound of his bugle and the flutter of his pennon always heralded devastation or death4 ,england and ,france were at peace at that time1 and the ,king of ,france complained to his brother of ,england4 ,the gracious ,edward1 who thought as little of lying as the ,czar ,nicholas1 gave his 8parole de gentilhomme0 that he was highly disgusted2 but privately he signalled the freebooter with a 8,well done1 ,hawkwood60 8,john of the ,needle0 did not fail to prick his way according to his fancy and profit after this hint4 ,he was captain of the most famous and most successful 8horde0 that ever sang1 8,stand and deliver60 ,not that he acted in rough highwayman fashion1--not he6 ,meek tailor as he had been1 he had become too much of a gentleman and soldier for that4 ,he robbed and murdered only in accordance with the rules of chivalry2 and he would have hung a common thief who had dared to hint that he was a brother by profession4 ,his black-mail produced him tons of 8red gold10 and his forays now extended to the banks of the ,po4 ,there was something of the spirit of ,merry ,sherwood in him1 for he had a sort of jolly delight in attacking the palace and stripping the person of a bishop4 ,this kind of gentle amusement however was not at all to the taste of the ,bishop of bishops at ,rome2 and the appeal made by the ,vatican to the ,king of ,england had better success than that which had been made by the ,king of ,france4 ,hawkwood submitted both to his own sovereign and to the ,church4 ,from the latter he purchased peace1--making large gifts1 which were thought nothing the worse of that they were the product of robbery4 ,john thereupon took to regular service3 he first entered that of the ,pisans1 in #acfd1 and those roystering individuals soon furnished him with as much fighting as he could reasonably have stomach for3 when they were not inclined to fight1 he hired out his sword and person to powers willing to fight against them4 ,sometimes a single baron1 having a quarrel with another baron1 and wishing to get possession of his goods1 engaged ,hawkwood to transact the little business for him4 ,he of the needle went at it with a will2 and when he had secured the castle and property of the fallen noble1 he generally defied the other to take them from him1 with a 8,come1 if you dare60 ,this system was never objected to3 an arrangement l'amiable was entered into1 and ,hawkwood was accounted as honest a man as before4 ,in twenty-three years' service in ,italy he thus fought on any and every side4 ,it was only when he got satiated with variety that he settled down to constancy1 and swore stable allegiance to the ,florentines4 ,one incident of the style of warfare1 and his skill in carrying it on1 will suffice to show of what metal our ,essex needle was fashioned4 ,one of the most creditable pieces of work ever accomplished by ,sir ,john1 was in the course of the war which ,florence carried on against ,milan in #acia4 ,no one of the ,condottiere captains hired to lead mercenaries to battle ever achieved such glory as our old ,essex tailor on this occasion1 and ,florence deemed the cause safe that was entrusted to his management4 ,in the present case1 ,milan was to be assailed on two opposite sides4 ,the noble ,count d',armagnac attacked it from the west1 and got thoroughly beaten ere ,hawkwood had sufficiently advanced to make his onslaught by the east4 ,the latter with his army was about five leagues from the city when he heard that his colleague had been routed3 he became thoughtful1 but not dismayed4 ,the country in which he found himself was like one of the pattern-books once so well-known to him4 ,it was all patches of land1 and between those patches intersections of streams4 ,indeed1 the country had nothing of the regularity of a tailor's pattern-book1 for the patches were of various shapes1 and the intersecting streams running in all directions3 the country between the ,alps and the ,po has ever been a doubtful and spongy sort of land whereon to struggle for the award of victory4 ,hawkwood was retreating1 but the ,adige1 the ,mincio1 and the ,oglio were yet to be crossed when the ,governor of ,milan1 ,giacopo del ,verme1 came upon him with his conquering legions4 ,he sat mute and observant3 the hazard was extreme4 ,he could not cross the rivers without first beating a vastly superior enemy3 to attempt it after a defeat would have been utter destruction4 ,he therefore did nothing but bide his time2 and when the enemy had become weary of looking on at him1 and had learned to despise him1 he suddenly fell upon them with a power against which there was so little preparation that1 having thrashed his foe into a condition that made immediate pursuit impossible1 he struck his tents and crossed the ,oglio1 under no worse fire than the sarcasms of his sore and helpless antagonists4 ,he went on1 picking his way1 until he reached a plain which was surrounded by the dykes of the ,po1 the ,mincio1 and the ,adige1 and lying below the level of those rivers4 ,the dykes of the last river had been pre-occupied and fortified by the foe2 the stream of the river too was broad and rapid1 and when ,hawkwood had surmounted all other obstacles he was terribly puzzled as to how he was to overcome this4 ,the puzzle was not made easier to him when1 from the little eminence on which he and his little army were stationed1 like rats upon a brick in a flooded sewer1 he beheld the entire plain turning into a lake4 ,the progress of the change worked like a dissolving view at the ,polytechnic2 and1 when the ex-tailor felt the water percolating through the lower chinks of his leg-armour1 he was thoroughly satisfied1 or rather dissatisfied1 that his opponent was playing him a sorry joke4 8,nay10 cried he1 on second thoughts1 8it is not so2 the men shall not catch so much as a cold60 ,the dykes had been cut1 and he forthwith began himself to cut out a plan of triumph4 ,he would neither be starved1 nor beaten1 nor moistened into submission4 ,so he averred2 and he had just declared as much when a messenger from the hostile leader1 who occupied the only strip of land on which a man could walk dry-shod1 sent by that road and messenger a present1 which was delivered into ,hawkwood's own hands3 it was a fox shut up in a cage6 8,umph60 lowed the ,essex calf1 8it may be that ,i am a bit of a fox1 and ,reynard may know a trail that will take him safe home1 and may spoil the sport of his pursuers by a #8stole away4'0 ,he at all events went boldly in the darkness of that same night to look for one4 ,he and his men plunged into the water1 and waded through it in a direction parallel to the dykes of the ,adige4 ,through mud and water up to the horse-girths1 and across trenches1 which engulfed the heavier men1 who could not clear them1 they all waded on2 and1 when the second night had nearly been spent1 and numbers had been lost by cold1 fatigue1 and hunger1 the survivors--the almost despairing infantry--clinging on to the tails of the horses which floundered before them1 at length emerged again on to dry ground1 upon the ,paduan frontier4 ,the enemy did not dare to follow him in this hazardous undertaking1 which had1 as it deserved1 so successful an issue4 ,but even that enemy acknowledged that there was not a commander in ,italy who1 for bravery and for resources in moments of difficulty1 could for a moment compare with ,hawkwood the ,tailor4 ,if ,florence enjoyed an unusually lengthened term of peace and prosperity1 the happy result was chiefly owing to the gallantry of ,hawkwood and his men4 ,the value which the ,state set upon his services was exemplified when ,florence disbanded all her foreign mercenaries1 save ,john of the ,needle and one thousand men1 the ,macedonian phalanx of the land4 ,his unwonted ease however was not to the taste of the active soldier4 ,he had ever been in turmoil1 and could not exist without it4 ,what says the old naval captain in the ,french song8-- 8,a prsent1 que je suis en retraite1 ,je me vois forc de vgter2 ,et bien souvent tout seul je tempte ,de n'avoir jamais tempter4 ,un vieux compagnon de lame1 ,aussi foltre que moi1 ,me dit de prendre une femme2 ,eh6 mais pas si mal1 ma foi6 ,car j'aime le tapage-- ,et je suis tapageur40 ,just so with honest ,john4 ,he had passed the best years of his life in war1 and he could not do without at least a little healthy skirmishing2 and he provided that which he had hitherto lacked1 by taking a wife1 and that wife a dark-eyed1 lightning-tongued ,italian4 ,the lady1 ,bianca ,sforza1 and domestic controversy1 kept him from 8growing pursy10 like ,sir ,giles2 and there was ever a very hot fire at the hearth of the tanner's gallant son of ,sible ,hedingham4 ,in his later days he did what retired veterans are apt to do1 and are wise in their aptness4 ,he took to meditation1 and1 not to attending ,bible societies1 as hearty old admirals do now1 but to not less praiseworthy service1 a sample of which may be seen in his foundation of the ,english hospital at ,rome for the reception of poor travellers4 ,the funds1 ,i believe1 still exist1 though they are diverted from the purpose contemplated by the founder4 ,it would serve1 he thought1 to balance much of a heavy account with ,heaven2 and he was comforted in that direction by those most skilful drawers of wills1 the ,romish priests4 ,having settled this matter1 and feeling1 like the ,irish gentleman on his death-bed1 that he had nothing to lay to his charge1 for he had never denied himself anything1 he calmly died in the ,strada ,pulverosa1 in ,florence1 in the year #acic4 ,he was buried with a magnificence that perhaps has never been surpassed4 ,the very details of it dazzle the mental vision2 and ,i will therefore leave my readers to conceive of it under the shadow of imagination4 ,he was finally laid to rest in the ,church of the ,reparata1 beneath a tomb in which there is metal enough to make thimbles for all the tailors in ,christendom4 ,there is a cenotaph in honour of the hero in ,sible ,hedingham church4 ,it is a profusely ornamented memorial1 with the pretty conceit of the sort so dear to our forefathers1 of hawks flying through a wood4 ,it is due to him in whose honour it was erected1 to say that if friends declared his almost superhuman courage and ability1 hostile writers conceded with alacrity to the eulogy flung upon him in showers4 ,there is in ,essex a manor of ,hawkwood1 which is supposed to owe its name to the gallant tailor-soldier2 and the house on which1 was reputed to have been built by his heirs4 ,it is ascertained1 however1 that this manor of ,hawkwood was so known in the reign of ,king ,john2 and perhaps the renowned ,john's ancestors originally came from its vicinity1 and took its name for a surname1 when surnames were rare1 and they hardly knew what to call themselves4 ,one author indeed has suggested that the received story of the lowly origin of ,hawkwood is all fiction1 and that he was really of gentle blood4 ,but ,i protest against any such suggestion1 for in that case what would become of all this history ,i have been telling8 ,in sober seriousness1 the main facts are doubtless as they have been told4 ,they are not mere romantic details of romantic times4 ,in much later days we have heard of tailors turning out heroes4 ,there is no worthier illustration of this fact that ,i can remember1 than 8daring ,drfling20 and his little story ,i will briefly tell1 if my readers will only vouchsafe me ear and patience2 as ,crispin says1 8,cela ne sera pas long40 ,,george ,d,,rfling1 ,,the ,,martial ,,tailor4 8,of stature tall1 and straightly fashion'd2 ,like his desire1 lift upwards1 and divine40 ,,marlowe3 ,tamburlaine4 ,george ,drfling was born in ,bohemia1 in the year #afjf4 ,it is popularly said in that country1 that when a child is born there1 a fairy presents herself at his side and offers him a purse and a violin1 leaving to him to choose which gift most pleases him4 ,according as he makes his selection1 is his future character determined4 ,if he takes the fiddle1 he turns out a musician4 ,if he grasps at the purse1 he invariably becomes a thief4 ,every ,bohemian is declared to be either the one or the other4 ,i may add1 that under the shadow of the ,hradschin1 ,i have met with 8,czeks0 who were both1 and with very many who were neither4 ,i fancy that at ,drfling's birth there was much confusion1 both in the domestic and the magic circle4 ,in the former there must have been something peculiarly wrong4 ,george could make no ,shandean calculations touching his birth1 for he never knew his parents' names2 and as he turned out neither player nor robber1 except on a very heroic scale1 the fairies do not appear to have afforded him the usual exercise of judgement which they commonly permitted to discriminating infants4 ,there was one thing1 however1 of which young ,george would not doubt4 ,he felt quite sure that he was born4 ,he had no hesitation upon that question2 and he was a philosopher of the ,descartes school1 without ever having heard anything of the ,cartesian philosophy4 ,he soon gave himself1 or had given to him1 a name4 ,he had first seen light in a village2 and he was accordingly called ,george ,villager1 or ,little ,villager4 8,dorf0 implies village1 and 8,drfling10 villager2 and accordingly the little ,bohemian took that humble name1--nobody having the slightest idea that he would ever make it famous1 and upon it place a baron's coronet4 ,the village authorities had no coronets wherewith to grace his head1 and in place thereof they put a thimble on his finger and a needle in his hand4 ,greatness could hardly have begun with smaller pretensions4 ,the boy was apprenticed to a tailor1 and a very excellent tailor he made4 ,but what he did not make was money4 ,in his village he could acquire little cash and no fame4 ,the boy was ambitious1 and he declared that he would walk to ,berlin1 and build wide-skirted coats for the army generals4 ,the villagers thought him mad2 and the melancholy sexton's laughing daughter ceased to laugh when the handsome lad spoke of his resolve4 ,he was not to be turned from his resolution by ,katinka the fair2 and so1 with a light bundle1 a lighter heart1 and a purse lighter than all1 he kissed his ,ariadne1 with the easy air of a dragoon leaving garrison1 and with hope in his heart1 turned his face towards ,berlin4 ,he walked on uninterruptedly until he reached the banks of the ,elbe2 there he found the waters out1 and his purse in the same condition4 ,and yet not in the same condition2 for the waters had overflowed1 and his purse had not4 ,he had reckoned upon fording the stream1 but if he would cross he must needs ferry it4 ,the ,styx itself is not to be traversed without a fee1 and in that respect the ,elbe was like the ,styx4 ,charon was inflexible4 ,drfling solicited aid from a group of young officers4 ,like ,lieutenant ,perry1 he was called 8a fool for his pains40 ,the police standing near1 finding him penniless1 deemed him disreputable4 ,they asked for his papers2 and when one little official1 a mere starveling1 read aloud that the stalwart lad was only a tailor1 the crowd pushed him aside with contempt1 and bade him stand out of the way of better men4 ,one of the officers nevertheless approached him1 with more of a seductive than a contemptuous look about him4 8,at your age10 said he1 8a handsome fellow like yourself should have handsome clothes to help his looks1 and a well-furnished purse to give dignity to his clothes4 ,if you want to starve1 by all means continue tailoring2 but if you would become a man1 and a gay one too1 throw away that accursed bundle of rags1 and cross the ferry in a better service40 8,well10 said ,drfling1 8here have ,i been dreaming of nothing more than sewing button-holes in ,berlin1 and now have ,i a prospect of a marshal's bton4 ,it's a long road however from a recruit's barracks to a marshal's saddle4 ,i doubt ,i had better stick to the needle40 ,the fact however was that he had little or no doubt about the matter4 ,he did not fling his bundle away1 as he was enjoined to do4 ,he turned its contents into a knapsack that was offered to him1 and in five minutes he was crossing the ferry1 a recruited soldier in the service of the ,elector of ,brandenburg4 ,he was quick-witted1 docile1 and zealous2 and the handsome and able recruit was not only speedily noticed1 but he made himself worthy of the observation devoted to him4 ,he performed every duty of his station without a demur2 was the first on parade after rveill1 and the last in the military class of instruction as long as teaching was going on there4 ,that he was the neatest man of his corps was his least merit1 for his old habit helped him to keep tidiness in his new4 ,therewith was his good humour unimpeachable and unruffled4 ,like all truly brave men1 he was of a sunny disposition1 loved children and music1 and1 if he had a somewhat dangerous tongue and rather too winning ways on some occasions1 why the ,fruleins never complained of either2 and if they who were the most concerned did not1 ,i do not know that any one else has a right to reproach him4 ,promotion was rapid1 and with promotion he gained celebrity4 ,he was talked about near other watchfires than those of ,brandenburg1 and in other camps than the one in which the once private soldier now served as captain4 ,his merit may be judged of when ,i say that the great ,count ,thurn solicited his co-operation2 and that1 under that renowned leader1 the ex-tailor in epaulettes fought like a lion at ,prague1 and won golden opinions1 not only from friends who witnessed1 but from foes who suffered by his bravery4 ,he was not a mere fire-eater2 he had a clear head as well as a heavy hand1 and was as apt in planning enterprises sure of success1 as he was ready to serve in the enterprises projected by others4 ,there was a spice of ,major ,dalgetty about him too4 ,he loved1 next to a good cause1 touching which the major was indifferent1 good living2 and knowing that he should find the one1 and hoping to enjoy the other1 under the banner of the great ,gustavus1 he served as 8,general-,major0 in the ,swedish army1 in #afdb1 and never once sheathed his sword during the ,thirty ,years' ,war4 ,at that time he certainly possessed the advantage of shedding his blood on the righteous side of the quarrel2 but1 as for good living1 why1 if by that be meant light diet1 he had that daily4 ,visionary theories he said he could endure well enough1 but visionary dinners were an abhorrence4 ,it often happened that in his own quarters there was not even the vision of a dinner3 in that case he had no objection to head a species of razzia1 and carry off the supplies from the commissariat of the enemy4 ,on one of these occasions the hungry foragers encountered strong opposition1 and in the struggle which ensued ,drfling's lieutenant was shot dead by an arquebusier4 ,he was the most nearly famished of the lot1 and had contended for the meal with all the ardour which appetite can give4 8,young ,naumann is dead10 remarked an aide to ,drfling4 8,poor fellow60 rejoined ,drfling1 8he would have cared for it less had it only been after he had dined40 ,the swiftly slain got but scanty epitaphs and shallow graves in those times2 and if any mourned the loss of the lieutenant1 they found consolation in the fact that his absence from the mess left one share more to be divided among the hungry members4 ,they drank out of the enemies' flasks to the memory of their ill-fated comrade1 who had perished before dinner2 and that done1 they hurried to a work the issues of which prevented several of them from ever again seeing supper-time4 ,drfling however was not among the missing4 ,he was ever active1 happy1 and energetic2 most at home where the fire was thickest and the fray hottest1 and too busy to be unhappy1 until the ,peace of ,westphalia1 which put so many notched swords that need never have been drawn back into their scabbards1 and laid down temporary arrangements1 which might have been permanent had the parties concerned used reason before resorting to ramrods4 ,in rusty inaction however neither could ,drfling nor his sword ingloriously lie4 ,to cut throats was accounted a more honourable occupation than to cut cloth1 and the 8,general0 was not at all disposed to retire as yet from business2 particularly as his renown increased with the number of his fields4 ,he was absent from scarcely one1 if from one1 of ,frederick ,william's great battles1 fought up to the year #afie1 against ,swedes1 ,poles1 and ,french4 ,as he grew old ,he grew less nice as to the complexion of the quarrel in which he was engaged2 nor would the circumstances of the time admit of this4 ,at the best a soldier is but a legalized and hired bravo1 bound to sustain all the quarrels of the master whose livery he wears4 ,such servants must serve and be silent2 strike hard1 and speak little1 except to the purpose in hand4 ,to do ,drfling justice1 he performed this sort of duty after a most exemplary fashion4 ,he preferred feeling that the cause in which he fought was a good one2 and if it were not1 he threw the responsibility on his employers1 and took his share of the plunder with an easy conscience4 ,his share was often to a very considerable amount2 and long before he died1 he was accounted as rich as all the retired tailors and living field-marshals in ,europe put together4 ,as morality then went1 he had fairly earned it all2 and truth to tell1 it had not all been won on the battle-field1 or in towns given up to plunder1 or at hearths devoted to devastation4 ,he gained no inconsiderable portion by diplomacy2 that is1 not by mendacity in courteous phrases and elegant circumventing of the truth1 but by serving the monarch by whom he was accredited with honest fidelity1 irrespective of how he might offend those to whom he was commissioned4 ,not that he ever gave offence to man or woman1 prince or peasant girl1 willingly or knowingly4 ,the gentle tailor lad of the remote ,bohemian village was ever gentle1 yet not undetermined1 at the council boards and leves of kings4 ,never was there man more gallant4 ,it is said of the late ,duke of ,wellington that1 at past fourscore1 he1 in one day1 attended early morning prayer1 gave away two brides1 transacted business at the ,horse ,guards1 took his usual rides1 made his ordinary visits1 was present at a council and a 8,drawing-room10 looked in at one or two exhibitions1 entertained forty people at dinner1 gave a ball after it1 and escorted the last of the fair dancers to her carriage1 gallantly saluting her as she stepped therein at sunrise6 ,this was a well-spent day for a veteran2 and it was just such a day as ,drfling loved to pass1 full of mingled pastime and business4 ,for it was his maxim1 as it was the ,duke's1 that a man must be doing something1 unless he wished to become the devil's man4 ,and so1 at various courts1 the gallant old ,drfling was an example of activity courteously performed1 to all who cared to profit by it4 ,as ambassador1 he was highly welcome whithersoever his credentials took him2 and it was said of him that his suavity was such1 that an unwelcome missive delivered by him fell less harshly on the ears1 than a compliment from the lips of messengers not so exquisitely trained in the school of biensance4 ,not that ,drfling lacked language to apply properly to acts which displeased him4 ,had the ,czar stolen his 8carpet-bag10 as that stupendous felon did ,sir ,g4 ,h4 ,seymour's1 the ,german soldier would have called him an arrant knave1 and not a 8gracious sovereign10 as the ,british diplomatist did1 in his excessive good-nature4 ,drfling lived to enter his ninetieth year6 ,when he passed from the shop-board to the barracks1 people accounted of him as a man who1 in abandoning a peaceful calling for a perilous vocation1 had committed a sort of early suicide4 ,there were plenty of old tailors1 it was said1 but very few aged soldiers1--at least1 sound ones4 ,it may be doubted however1 humanly speaking1 whether he would have lived half so long as a quiet1 meditative tailor1 as he did by exposing himself to be shot at1 moderately computated1 once an hour during nearly three-quarters of a century of his subsequent life4 ,during that term he never met reproach but once4 ,it was at the hands of the officer who had induced him to enter the army1 and who could never forgive the recruit for rising to a very superior greatness to that achieved by the recruiter4 ,they were both old men1 when the officer in question sneeringly alluded to ,drfling's origin4 8,true60 roared the hearty veteran1 not a bit ashamed of the fact 7the less perhaps that it was known to everybody71--8,true6 ,i have been a tailor1 and have cut cloth2 but harkye1 the sword at my side is the instrument with which ,i shall cut the ears of those who are audacious enough to make of that fact a ground for mockery or reproach60 ,well said1 brave tailor6 nobody raised a sneer at thy expense after that1 ,i warrant6 ,no wonder that at thy grave tailors1 soldiers1 and honest men yet repair1 as to the shrine of a saint whose memory is worthy of respect4 ,but if ,germany has one1 we have a hundred of such heroes4 ,when the ,spanish ,armada was threatening our shores1 the tailors were among the first to enrol themselves among the patriotic defenders of the country4 ,they are said to have been mounted on mules1 and1 when intelligence was once brought to ,queen ,elizabeth1--intelligence as false as though it had come by ,electric ,telegraph1--that a brigade of tailors and their mules had been destroyed1 8,let us be consoled10 said the royal lady1 8we have lost neither man nor horse40 ,i may also again notice the fact1 that1 at the siege of ,gibraltar1 the brigade which did ,elliott best service against the enemy consisted almost exclusively of tailors from ,london4 ,really the profession is overdone with heroes6 ,it has its one in the navy1 and of him ,i will now speak1 though more briefly than of his predecessors4 ,,admiral ,,hobson1 ,,the ,,naval ,,tailor4 8,commend us to the ,admiral1 and say1 ,the ,king will visit him1 and bring health40 ,,shirley3 ,chabot4 ,in the reign of ,queen ,anne1 in the pleasant village of ,bonchurch1 in the ,isle of ,wight1 there lived an honest villager1 whose son he had apprenticed to a tailor in the not less pleasant insular locality of ,niton4 ,young ,hobson was here engaged at his humble craft1 when he heard that a ,british fleet was passing the back of the ,wight2 and he went with his fellow-workmen to view that goodly sight4 ,it was a spectacle which fired his youthful breast with naval ardour2 and1 abandoning his articles of indenture to serve the ,queen under the articles of war1 he proclaimed himself a volunteer1 jumped into a boat1 and was taken on board one of the ships of the fleet1 where likely lads1 such as he was1 met with warm welcome and hard usage4 ,the youthful volunteer rejoiced at the first1 and defied the second4 ,he was just of the stuff of which sailors should be made2 and when1 the day after he joined1 they fell in with a ,french squadron1 the ,niton tailor exhibited such undaunted valour1 such self-possession1 and such joyousness of spirit1 that his promotion was at once commenced1 nor did it stop until he had attained the rank of admiral4 ,he was an upright and gallant ,english sailor4 ,less actively employed than the other brave ocean chiefs of this stirring period1 his name is less familiar to us2 but he was never wanting when called upon1 and was always rejoiced to find his services were required4 ,the ,company of ,cordwainers however1 it must be confessed1 have more fair reason to be proud of their admiral than the tailors of estimable ,hobson4 ,the latter had not the chance1 like ,sir ,cloudesley ,shovel1 the son of a shoemaker1 to whom the future admiral was bound apprentice1 to take ,gibraltar in bold companionship with such a comrade as ,rooke2 and accordingly his effigy is not to be found in ,westminster ,abbey like that of ,shovel4 ,not that the shoemaking admiral has much to boast of4 ,addison truly remarks of the figure of the latter1 that 8instead of the brave rough ,english ,admiral1 which was the distinguishing character of that plain1 gallant man1 he is represented on his tomb by the figure of a beau1 dressed in a long periwig1 and reposing himself on velvet cushions under a canopy of state4 ,the inscription is answerable to the monument2 for1 instead of celebrating the many remarkable actions he had performed in the service of his country1 it acquaints us only with the manner of his death1 in which it was impossible for him to reap any honour40 ,horace ,walpole1 in alluding to the tailoring and upholstering spirit of the statuary1 remarks that 8,bird bestowed busts and bas-reliefs on those he decorated2 but ,sir ,cloudesley ,shovel's1 and other monuments by him1 made men of taste dread such honours40 ,i have dealt with the naval tailor here1 in order that he might not be separated from his gallant brethren ashore4 ,we will now pass to the civilians2 and first1 of a brace of worthies who wore their honours meekly1 but whose labours deserve no less eulogy than posterity has awarded to them3 ,i allude to the tailors and antiquarians1 ,stow and ,speed4 ,,john ,,stow1 ,,the ,,antiquarian ,,tailor4 8,such a man ,might be a copy to these younger times40 ,,all',s ,,well ,,that ,,ends ,,well4 ,it has been well said of ,john ,stow1 that he was1 in his way1 a sort of ,hebrew of the ,hebrews2 a citizen born of a citizen2 like his father1 a tailor2 but he was in himself a tailor1 8and something more40 ,he was born in ,cornhill1 the year that the gossips there were admiringly eloquent on the glories of the royal tournament and ball at ,greenwich1 where ,henry ,,viii4 helped to break three hundred lances before supper2 and then1 attired as a ,venetian nobleman1 led out ,anne ,boleyn to dance1 and set all present calculating on the coming events shadowed forth beneath the lights1 by such a pair of dancers4 ,the year was that not uneventful one of #aebg4 ,it was a jovial place1 that ,cornhill1 at the time ,i speak of2 less so1 perhaps1 than some dozen years before1 when ,chantry priests lounged at the open stalls and talked as familiarly with the tailors' wives1 as ,french abbs of later days with jocund lady duchesses4 ,the ,chantry priests were the ,giovannis of the district1--the abhorrence of grave husbands1 and the especial favourites of their wives4 ,in #aebg something of this had ceased1 but ,cornhill was still the emporium of jokes as well as jackets2 and many were the witticisms which the apprentices1 from their unfronted shops1 exchanged with the passers-by1 and more particularly with the damsels4 ,the household of our ancient friend ,john must necessarily have been a jovial one2 for when the female head thereof was at the point of death1 leaving four sons1 three daughters1 and an ex-husband to follow her to ,st4 ,michael's1 ,cornhill1 she made a bequest which tends to show the predilections of her family1--perhaps the fashion of the time4 ,she left them ten shillings to be spent in drink1 on the day of her funeral2 while she bequeathed but half that sum to be laid out in the purchase of bread for the poor4 ,these were only incidental bequests4 ,john ,stow1 the father1 was1 like ,john ,gilpin1 a citizen of credit and renown2 and if he had a place of business in ,cornhill1 he did not sleep there1 as vulgar tailors might4 ,not he6 he had his country house1 ,sir1 and that where you now might look for one in vain--8at the backside of ,throgmorton-street40 ,it was then a rural district1 and the old tailor tabernacled with gentility4 ,his immediate neighbour was no less a man than the minister ,cromwell4 ,john had a garden forty-four feet long1 for which he paid 8six and eightpence0 annual rent2 but ,cromwell forcibly took possession of a portion of it1 and refused to pay for what he had stolen4 ,honest ,john submitted1 for the reason that he knew he could get no redress2 and perhaps he was residing in dudgeon in ,cornhill when his eminent son was compensatingly sent to shed a halo round his name4 ,there is an establishment in the ,city1 drafts on which are not so much coveted as on ,jones1 ,lloyd1 and ,co4 ,i allude to the venerable ,aldgate ,pump4 ,adjacent to the well1 to which the 8one-arm'd ,city cow0 is now the crown1 ,stowe1 the son1 was driving his double trade of hopeful student and rather indifferent tailor1 in #aedi4 ,a stirring little incident took place in front of his house1 which caused him to deeply reflect as to the way in which men wrote history4 ,there had been an insurrection in ,norfolk and ,suffolk4 ,it was the chronic malady of our constitution at that time to be always suffering from 8breakings-out40 ,as many lying reports thereof reached the ,city1 as if ,london enjoyed1 as we do now1 electric telegraphs1 8own correspondents10 and unpurchasable newspapers rather interested in the stocks4 ,indeed1 truth was as perilous as gunpowder4 ,thus1 the ,bailiff of ,rumford had kissed his wife in the morning ere he came to ,london market4 ,he was standing at his stall in the latter place1 running his fingers through samples of corn1 when 8,sir ,stephen10 a priest1 asked1 8,what news80 8,well10 said the ,bailiff1 8men are rising1 even in ,essex4 ,thank ,god1 all is quiet however1 my way40 ,now ,sir ,stephen was a casuist2 and he had a case and an accident1 by which he argufied a conclusion in no time that the ,bailiff was a traitor4 8,men are rising even in ,essex1 thank ,god6--be that thy speech1 then1 naughty traitor8 ,have him away to the ,sheriff60 ,the market having been dull1 the standers-by were delighted to find something wherewith to enliven it4 ,they would not listen to the offered explanations of the bewildered ,bailiff2 he must be a rebel2 and they hoped for a fine day for the hanging4 ,the poor fellow was examined1 tried1 pronounced guilty upon the deposition of the priest1 and sentenced to be hanged1 opposite ,stow's house4 ,the convict entered a meek protest against being put in so painful a state of suspense1 which they promised to attend to after the ceremony4 ,well1 the man was put to death1 and it was a most fortunate thing that ,stow1 the tailor1 was there to see it4 ,he beheld the composure of the victim1 believed his denial of guilt2 and when he heard him proclaimed as a traitor1 he was struck with the fact1 that1 if such proclamations were the documentary ground-work of history1 the latter was very pretty reading indeed for those who loved fiction4 ,he forthwith removed to ,lime-street ,ward1 where he undertook to repair records as well as what he had hitherto put his hand to4 ,for nearly half a century he passed his days1 and good portion of his nights1 in the search after that most ticklish of virgins to catch--historical truth4 ,the natural consequences ensued4 ,he did not make money as an author1 and he starved as a tailor4 ,tailor and author6 double the ordinary woe of men6 ,the little he made at his trade he devoted to the purchase of books useful to him in his profession4 ,now honest ,john was of a ,romish family1 albeit the gaillardise of the ,chantry priests had helped to make a convert of him4 ,but he had a respect for the antiquity of things1 if not of facts1 connected with the old faith2 and when mention was made of a tailor who worked little1 but who studied much1 who professed a reverence for truth1 and yet who spoke almost lovingly of antiquated ceremonies1 he was at once suspected of being suspicious4 ,the suspicion was heightened by the false accusations of a younger brother2 and down came ,ecclesiastical ,commissioners upon his little library1 to see if out of it they could not prove him a ,papist and rebel1 worthy the scourge and the stake4 ,they made sad havoc among his dearly-beloved books2 and were more than once on the point of committing him to prison1 when a volume with an incomprehensible title came under their thumb4 ,but ,john answered so wisely and so well1 that they could find no guile in him2 and they left him in some little peace1 and up to his ears in papers4 ,he was thus visited more than once1 and always at the instigation of his vagabond brother4 ,it was after one of these harassing1 and to him perilous perquisitions1 that he happened to be reading an account of some sorry knave who was hanged at the ,elms in ,smithfield2 the comment which he himself hung upon the text was significant1 and to this effect3--8,god amend1 or send like end to1 all such false brothers60 ,but he was rewarded for many of his vexations by the honour which he reaped out of the harvest of criticism which sprang out of the publication of his first great work1 the #8,chronicles' of ,england from the coming of that uncertain gentleman ,brute1 to the accession of his certain descendant1 bluff ,harry the ,eighth4 ,john did not hurry over this work2 he took his time2 thought over it when making liveries for the corporation1 walked miles for it1 read libraries for it1 and spent all the cash thereon which he possessed1 could beg1 or could borrow4 ,o ye gentlemen literateurs1 who turn out successive volumes of history faster than ,john ,stow could make jerkins1 think of a plodding forty years spent in perfecting this one work6 ,the author was poorer when he completed his novel1 painfully elaborate1 yet clear and useful book1 than he was when he commenced it4 ,he was not a better tailor than before2 and altogether his prospects were not brilliant4 ,but he wore a stout heart1 lived upon hope1 and fondly thought1 good old man6 7,i trust that no 8d--d good-natured friend0 disturbed that thought71 that every phrase he wrote was rich in truth4 ,now some of it is as true as ,robinson ,crusoe1 and yet quite as veracious as much with which we trouble ourselves under the venerated name of 8history40 ,towards the end of the sixteenth century the now feeble old tailor1 but cheerful scholar1 produced his #8,annals of ,england1' the dedication of which had been accepted by ,archbishop ,whitgift4 ,he had asked the ,city1 proud to call him her 8,chronicler10 to help him in his heavy charges1 by bestowing on him two freedoms4 ,i do not remember that the application was successful1 but ,i do retain in my memory how truth-loving ,john was treated by the ,vintners' ,company4 ,the modest author1 to support his petition for some slight favour prayed of them1 read to those jolly fellows in court assembled some sheets of his great work4 ,they were bored to death1 and treated him like a beggar4 ,they would neither help him1 nor let him help himself by examining the records in their possession4 ,he kept a cheerful heart through it all4 ,he winced indeed under the ignorant additions made to his works by other editors1 but he not the less cordially aided them in perfecting their own contributions to antiquarian history2 and when he met with crosses in either his literary or his sartorial aspect1 the old man calmed his irritation by reading and by annotating #8,chaucer4' ,but he was growing old and helpless4 ,although he was called the ,city's fee'd ,chronicler1 it is not certain whether this was or was not a mere 8faon de parler40 ,of one thing there is no doubt whatever4 ,that ill-dressed king1 ,james ,i41 contemplating ,stow rather as a tailor than an author1 granted him a license whereby he was empowered to go about and collect charity1--gather benevolences1 a chartered ,bedesman4 ,but as he happened to be so afflicted with gout in the feet that he could not perambulate with his petition1 the license was next to useless4 ,stow looked at his willing but helpless legs1 and said with a melancholy smile that he was maimed in the members wherewith he had most offended2 for that no man had walked as many miles as he had in search of material for his books4 ,nevertheless1 strengthened by the royal license1 he set up for a weary day or two as a beggar2 and all that he gained was seven and sixpence from ,st4 ,mary's ,wolnoth4 ,magnificent alms for a veteran antiquary6 ,and yet the fourscore years which had just passed from the day of his birth1 when he was finally deposited in the consecrated ground of ,st4 ,andrew ,undershaft1 were not unhappy years4 ,under trial1 next to trust in ,god1 ,i do not know of any better anodyne1 more potent balm1 than literary occupation2 and of that1 ,stow1 that tall1 thin1 cheerful1 pleasant1 bright-eyed1 strong-memoried1 sober1 mild1 courteous1 truth-loving tailor and antiquary1 had his fill4 ,he loved truth above everything1 and quite as intense was his hatred of quacks1 pretenders1 and those stupendous 8shams0 which have so often made eloquent and bilious the energetic ,carlyle4 ,he loved one thing with as strong a love as he felt for truth1--antiquarian pursuits4 ,if ever old times should come round again1 the ,society of ,antiquaries should feel themselves in duty bound to adopt him1 properly authorized1 as a patron saint2 and appeal to him at much-perplexed meetings with a 8,sancte ,johanne de ,stow1 ora pro nobis60 to which he will doubtless answer 8,sto1 adjutorius60 ,what a sifter he was of old legends6 ,and what truths he1 after all1 did save from much rubbish6 ,how well he proved that the sword in the ,city arms was not there because of the ,lord ,mayor's having struck down ,jack ,straw or ,wat ,tyler1 but that it stood there as the ,sword of ,st4 ,paul1 in honour of the apostle4 ,he swept away the fables of old ,london with herculean power1 clearing them away as ,niebuhr has those of ancient ,rome1 yet leaving nothing half so pretty in their place4 ,he was the first who insisted that ,richard the ,third was by no means such a deformed fiend as he was painted by those who had written under his enemy ,henry ,,vii4 and his successors4 ,james ,,iv4 of ,scotland owes it to ,stow that his head found a burial-place1 after a world of adventure quite enough to turn it4 ,james the ,fourth1 as my readers doubtless remember1 was slain in the fatal fight at ,flodden ,field4 ,at the end of the day of bloody arbitrement there brought to a close1 the body of the unlucky monarch was found among a heap of the fallen4 ,the discoverers made prize of the corpse1 wrapped it up in lead1 and transmitted it as a thanksgiving offering to the monastery at ,sheen1 in ,surrey4 ,it was well taken care of by the honest people there as long as the monastery stood2 but when the dissolution of these religious establishments took place1 and the edifice was converted into a mansion for the ,duke of ,suffolk and his warm-hearted spouse1 ,mary1 the sister of ,henry ,,viii4 and the widow of ,louis ,,xii4 of ,france1 the new occupants put their royal cousin's body into a fresh wrapping of lead1 and unceremoniously rolled it into an upper lumber-room4 ,there it served for sundry vile purposes1 until some rude workmen engaged in the house lopped off its head out of sheer wantonness4 ,their master1 a glazier of ,wood-street1 ,cheapside1 anxious for as much of a king's company as a glazier could possibly get1 carried the head with him into the ,city4 ,there1 on the man of putty's sideboard1 the dried remnant of a crowned king1 with its red hair and beard1 and a 8sweet savour0 thence springing1 was long the admiration of the glazier's evening parties1 and a never-ending subject of conversation for his guests4 ,there ,stow saw this skull of the anointed ,james1 but at a time when the savour had ceased to be sweet1 and when it had become a too familiar bore at the soires of its proprietor4 ,the soul of the honest and refined tailor1 the sentiment of the zealous antiquary1 was shocked at the spectacle of gallants1 emancipated apprentices1 and giggling ,city girls1 knocking about the mazzard of the gallant king1 as they sipped their muscadel or tasted their cakes and ale4 ,john ,stow expostulated1 and the glazier consented to ransom the royal sconce4 ,the tailor quietly and decently interred it within the old ,church of ,st4 ,michael's1 ,wood-street1 the site of which is now occupied by ,wren's edifice2 and the dust of the once-crowned brow of ,james of ,scotland forms a portion of a path daily trodden by the unconscious lieges of ,wood-street4 ,i have already noticed what incident induced our literary tailor to meditate upon the delusions of history4 ,another incident taught him that appeals to the passions are destructive in their results1 and confirmed him in his opinion that gentleness has more real power for good than violence4 ,nearly opposite the ,east ,india ,house stands the ,church of ,st4 ,andrew ,undershaft1 8because that of old time1 every year10 says ,stow in that admirable #8,survey of ,london' with which his name is associated1 8on ,may-day in the morning1 it was used that an high or long shaft or ,may-pole was set up there before the south door of the said church40 ,the church was not so high as the pole or shaft1 and it received1 in consequence1 its name of 8,undershaft10 to distinguish it from other edifices dedicated to ,st4 ,andrew4 ,chaucer1 describing a lofty braggart1 says he 8bears his head as high as the great shaft of ,cornhill40 ,the pride of the shaft fell1 and the shaft too1 on the evil ,may-day of the year #aeag4 ,edward ,,iii4 had confirmed the enactment of ,edward ,i41 permissory to the unrestrained settlement of foreigners in this country4 ,the first monarch especially encouraged the ,flemish cloth-workers1 whose looms were shortly equal to the manufacture of the whole wool ,england could produce4 ,thereupon the exportation of ,english wool1 and the importation of foreign woollen cloths1 were alike prohibited2 and ,cornhill and tailors had a paradisiacal time of it4 ,but in course of years1 foreigners poured in to traffic in this country1 and as they took no ,english wares away with them1 but heaps of ,english gold and silver1 a very general discontent was engendered1 gradually grew1 and had reached its height in #aeag4 ,in the ,lent of that year1 ,john ,lincoln1 a citizen and demagogue1 called upon ,dr4 ,bell1 who was engaged to preach the ,spital sermon at ,easter1 and so worked upon him1 that ,bell denounced the foreigners from the pulpit1 with a fanatic fervour that might be envied by ,dr4 ,cahill1 when descanting on the never-to-be-forgotten 8glorious idea0 of massacring ,english ,protestants4 8,the heavens10 thus rang the ,bell1 8belong to the ,lord of ,heaven1 but the earth he hath given to the children of men4 ,england is the spot which he has given to ,englishmen2 and as birds defend their nests1 so ought ,englishmen to defend their soil from the intrusion of aliens4 ,yea1 even as the swallow repelleth the usurper from her ancient abode1 should they drive out those who would divide with them the inheritance of their fathers40 ,on this hint1 the valiant tailors' apprentices1 and others of like kidney1 began to insult all foreigners whom they encountered in the streets2 and on the eve of ,may-day1 an encounter1 foolishly brought about by the authorities and some lads playing at bucklers in ,cheapside1 and who objected to disperse at rude bidding1 swelled to a tumult1 in which the foreigners' dwellings were plundered and burned2 but no personal hurt inflicted4 ,down descended the troops upon the rioters2 some hundreds were captured2 ,lincoln1 the leader1 was hanged2 and the ,king was reconciled to the ,city at a banquet of grace1 given in ,guildhall4 ,two-and-thirty years elapsed before the ,may-poles were again erected1 as signals for those light of foot and of heart to come and dance and be merry4 ,when the old pole was once more erected1 decked with ribbons and spring flowers1 in front of ,st4 ,andrew's1 the holy wrath of a curate1 8,sir ,stephen0 of old1 was fired against it4 ,he flew into the stone pulpit at ,paul's ,cross1 and he denounced the parishioners of ,st4 ,andrew's as accursed idolaters1 inasmuch as they had set up an idol1 and by naming their church 8under the shaft10 they had done honour to the pole as well as to the apostle4 ,stow1 who appears to have been ubiquitous1 was among the listeners1 but not among that portion of them who were subsequently actors1 and who rushed from beneath the pulpit1 swept along ,st4 ,mary ,axe1 and seizing the idolatrous shaft1 righteously hewed the same into fragments1 and then religiously burnt the whole at the very church door4 ,ah1 thought honest ,john with a sigh1 if they thus destroy what was old yet lovely1 ,i will take more pains than ever to preserve the memory of what perishes2--and he faithfully did so4 ,it was the over-zeal of members of adverse parties that made of this learned tailor a ,christian1 rather than a ,romanist or a ,reformer2 and he was too gentle of heart to feel unlimited wrath against any but the defacers of monuments3 his own was as little free from assault however as his own stall had been1 when he was alive4 ,the idle deboshed fellows about ,cornhill used foully to assail him and his apprentices1 for no better reason than that he would not share in their naughtiness4 ,he received the battery of their heavy tongues without reply1 and even bade his loving helpmate to be quiet when the queans on the pav mocked her as the spouse of a poor scholar4 ,for be it said1 ,cornhill was frequented by the lowest as well as the highest in the land1 and its prison 8,tun0 for night-brawlers1 and its pillory for other offenders1 bespoke a neighbouring lawless population2 and this is further proved by ,lydgate1 who says1 in his #8,london ,lick-,penny3'-- 8,then into ,corn ,hil anon ,i rode1 ,where was much stolen gear among2 ,i saw where hung mine own fair hood1 ,that ,i had lost among the throng4 ,to buy my own hood1 ,i thought it wrong2 ,i knew it well1 as ,i did my creed1 ,but for lack of money ,i could not speed40 ,stow's monument was ostensibly raised to his memory by his widow1 but there is no doubt that it was by subscription4 ,it is of terra cotta2 and the figure1 once painted to represent life1 is seen as the original used to be seen1 seated at a table1 engaged with pen and book4 ,maitland states that the remains were disturbed1 and even removed1 but he does not say whither nor wherefore1 in the year #agcb4 ,like the mortal remains of ,fernand ,cortes1 no man can speak decisively of their resting-place4 ,leaving those who love such research to make due inquiry after them1 we will now hold brief converse touching another celebrated 8,john of the ,needle10 the ,chronicler ,speed4 ,,john ,,speed1 ,,the ,,antiquarian ,,tailor4 8,summus et eruditus ,antiquarius40--,,sheringham4 ,so said a learned antiquary of a humble1 but also learned1 and a pains-taking brother4 ,far more reluctant was ,nicolson to give praise where praise was due4 ,the latter person does indeed say of the laborious ,john1 that he had a head the best disposed towards history of any of our writers4 8,speed10 says ,nicolson1 8would certainly have outdone himself1 as far as he has gone1 beyond the rest of his profession1 if the advantages of his education had been answerable to those of his natural genius4 ,but what10 he adds most impertinently1 8what could be expected from a tailor8 ,however10 reluctantly continues this costive eulogist1 8we may boldly say that his chronicle is the largest and best we have hitherto extant20--nay1 he even adds that ,sheringham was right in speaking of honest ,john ,speed as 8summus et eruditus antiquarius40 ,so1 go on1 little ,farington1 in pleasant ,cheshire1 to be proud of your son4 ,just three centuries have dissolved in the abyss of ,time1 since his father1 on his shop-board1 heard the boy's first cry from an inner room2 and if any one could have then asked1 8,what could be expected from a tailor80 he might have pointed to the little stranger1 and exclaimed1 ,ecce filius6 ,stow was an indifferent tailor1 yet excellent author4 ,speed was both2 and he was more fortunate than his brother antiquary and tailor4 ,after he had served in ,cheshire1 he settled in ,london as master1 and he had ,sir ,fulke ,greville for a customer4 ,the men1 wide as they were apart socially1 were brothers intellectually2 and both loved and comprehended literature4 ,sir ,fulke paid his tailor after a better fashion than that of most fine gentlemen of his day4 ,he took the artisan from his board1 and set him a student at his books4 ,the result was profitable not only to those then present living1 but also to posterity4 ,speed nobly inaugurated the opening years of the seventeenth century by producing his #8,theatre of ,great ,britain1' wherein the three kingdoms of our own empire are presented in their exact geography1 and there is an elaborate detail not only of counties1 but of county towns4 ,the maps were designed by the author1 who applied to his use1 in the text1 much scattered matter from other sources4 ,some few years after1 he published his #8,history of ,great ,britain under the ,conquests of the ,romans1 ,saxons1 ,danes1 and ,normans2 their originals1 manners1 wars1 coins1 and seals1 with the successions1 lives1 acts1 and issues of the ,english ,monarchs1 from ,julius ,csar to our most gracious ,sovereign ,king ,james4' ,in this work1 he judiciously borrowed from ,camden1 and was supplied with materials by ,sir ,henry ,spelman1 ,sir ,robert ,cotton1 and other eminent antiquarians4 ,the book very much raised a reputation that was already of no mean height4 ,nor did he confine himself to antiquities4 ,two years had scarcely elapsed since the appearance of his last work1 when he produced his octavo volume on a religious subject3--#8,the ,cloud of ,witnesses1 or the ,genealogies of ,scripture1 confirming the truth of holy history and humanity of ,christ4' ,for many a long year was this essay prefixed to the ,english translation of the ,bible and ,king ,james vested the copyright of it in the author and his heirs for ever2--we emphatically say 8for ever10 as a hint to the pirate publishers4 8,what could be expected from a tailor1 ,master ,nicolson80 ,well1 were you yourself a better man8 ,did you live half a century and seven years in harmony with your wife8 and did eighteen children--twelve sons and six daughters--call you father8 ,what could be expected from a tailor8 ,why1 thou sorry slanderer1 ,john ,speed excelled thee in all things4 ,a dozen and a half of his children stood at his grave-side1 in ,st4 ,giles's1 ,cripplegate1 in #afbi2 and above that grave his name lives1 whereas thine is forgotten4 8,what could be expected of a tailor80 ,whatever might be expected1 he performed much4 ,the most famous of his many sons was that ,dr4 ,john ,speed1 who was patronized by ,laud2 and from him1 through ,colonel ,speed1 descended that ,countess de ,viri1 wife of a ,sardinian ambassador in ,london1 whom ,lord ,cobham adopted as his child1 after the death of her own father the ,colonel4 ,to her visit to ,gray we owe that charming #8,long ,story' narrated by ,gray1 and which consequently would never have been written but for ,john ,speed1 the tailor and antiquary1 of ,farington4 ,the ladies are described as 8,a brace of warriors not in buff1 ,but rustling in their silks and tissues40 ,of ,speed's fair descendant the poet sings3-- 8,the other ,amazon1 kind ,heaven ,had arm'd with spirit1 wit1 and satire2 ,but ,cobham had the polish given1 ,and tipp'd her arrows with good-nature40 ,being on the subject of dress1 ,i may add1 that ,speed's great-granddaughter was attired 8in bonnet blue and capuchine20 and ,i may further and finally remark1 that to have written history and divinity with a learned pen1 and to have been remotely the cause of the authorship of ,gray's #8,long ,story1' may fairly save ,speed1 and indeed the fellow-craftsmen who should hold him in honour1 from such a nez-retrouss sort of sarcasm as 8,what could be expected from a tailor80 ,speed the tailor is remembered when ,bishop ,nicolson is forgotten4 ,we will pass from him to consider a tailor's son of another kidney1--garrulous1 vain1 rakish1 clever1 and ever-welcome ,samuel ,pepys4 ,,samuel ,,pepys1 ,,the ,,official ,,tailor4 8,all gentlemen ,that love society1 love me2 all purses ,that wit and pleasure opens1 are my tenants40 ,,fletcher3 ,wit without ,money4 ,samuel ,pepys was the son of a tailor of the city of ,london2 and although he affected much gentility when he himself prospered1 he was honest enough to confess1 in cipher and short-hand which he thought nobody could read1 that let others say of his family what they might1 he for his own part did not believe that it was of anything like gentle descent4 ,notwithstanding this confession1 our friend ,samuel had something within him of the aristocratic cobbler who1 in the #8,taming of the ,shrew1' makes inebriate boast that 8the ,slys came in with ,richard ,conqueror60 ,as ,pepys was born in #afcb1 and his sartorial sire did not retire from his useful occupation until #affj1 ,samuel1 the elder surviving son of a family which reckoned of offspring a dozen save one1 must have had considerable homely experience of a humble life4 ,the elder ,pepys1 having inherited a small landed property at ,brampton1 near ,huntingdon1 of some forty pounds a year1 enjoyed his condition of modified squireship for the liberal term of twenty years4 ,it was but a poor condition after all1 and the retired tailor was often compelled to have recourse to his son1 who sometimes gave him money1 now and then bestowed upon him an innutritive compassion1 and on one occasion magnifically endowed him with a pair of old shoes6 ,old ,pepys was still a tailor in the ,city when ,samuel was a sizar at ,cambridge1 at which seat of learning he obtained the distinction of being reprimanded for being 8scandalously overserved with drink y night before40 ,it is further remarkable that while his sire was still behind his counter or upon it1 the ambitious son1 at the age of twenty-three1 married a portionless girl of fifteen1 with no other possession than the pride of being descended1 on the mother's side1 from the ,cliffords of ,cumberland1 and consequently from ,henry ,,vii41 whose daughter ,mary1 after being ,queen of ,france1 espoused the ,duke of ,brandon1 and from the latter union had issue those two daughters1 one of whom became mother of ,lady ,jane ,grey1 and the other became wife and mother in the honoured household of the great ,cumberland ,cliffords4 ,when ,aladdin1 the tailor's son of ,bagdad1 married that sweet princess with the never-to-be-remembered name1 two wider extremes scarcely met than when ,samuel joined hands with ,elizabeth de ,st4 ,michael1 who brought the blood of ,tudor to mingle with that of ,pepys4 ,after all1 ,pepys the tailor was allied to good blood before1 in spite of the self-denying modesty of the son4 ,sir ,edward ,montague1 afterwards ,lord ,sandwich1 was the cousin of ,samuel1 and a kinsman worth having2 for he lifted young ,pepys from his father's shop-board to the ,board of ,admiralty4 ,in our own days it would be difficult to find an ,earl at the ,west ,end who had for his cousin a tailor1 or tailor's son1 in the ,east2 and if such relationship did now exist1 the occidental noble would show scant alacrity in benefiting his oriental and hard-working kinsman1--unless indeed the latter were an illegitimate son3 then the illicit relative would be sure of a post in a public office4 ,it is wonderful how legitimately in some of those offices the interests of ,england are now served by illegitimate gentlemen1--gentlemen who owe nothing to their scampish sires but the disgrace of their birth1 and the good luck of a very desirable appointment4 ,the career of the old tailor's son was a remarkable one4 ,he left a yet quiet home1 and a not yet jealous wife1 to attend ,sir ,edward ,montague upon his expedition to the ,sound1 in ,march1 #afeh4 ,on his return from this expedition he became a clerk in the ,army ,pay ,office1 and commenced keeping his incomparable ,diary1--the record of his profitable toil1 his immoderate vanity1 and his little rogueries4 ,as secretary to the two 8generals0 of the fleet1 he was on board the flag-ship which brought back ,charles ,,ii41 and which bestowed on ,england a gift for which the ,church is annually thankful4 ,in #affj he was promoted to the office of ,clerk of the ,acts of the ,navy2 and if to the scenes of his labour1 like ,charles ,lamb at the ,south ,sea ,office1 he repaired very late in the morning1 but compensated for that by retiring very early in the afternoon1 it must be also confessed that he accomplished much useful work in a short time1 and achieved objects for which his superiors got all the honour4 ,in the time of a disastrous war1 this tailor's son continued to exercise hope and energy when all around him was despair4 ,samuel ,pepys then stood amid desponding officials1 like the great ,guise amid the sullen ,french officers in ,italy ere victory had consented to sit upon their helms4 ,in the time of the ,plague too1 the little man 7he was as tall as ,epaminondas7 ungrudgingly took his turn of the pestilence as others had done of the sword2 and when nine-tenths of the healthy but craven people had fled from town1 he remained at his office and daily stood face to face with grimmest death4 ,he held temporarily the appointment of ,treasurer to the ,commissioners for the ,affairs of ,tangier1 and also that of ,surveyor-,general of the ,victualling ,department4 ,he had been passively engaged during the ,great ,plague2 he was actively and usefully so during the ,great ,fire2 and when the ,officers of the ,navy ,board were summoned to answer before ,parliament for the enterprise of ,de ,ruyter against ,chatham in #affh1 his bold eloquence procured an acquittal for himself and colleagues4 ,he occupied a seat in ,parliament1 where he1 at different times1 represented ,castle ,rising and ,harwich2 and when excess of toil induced him to undertake a tour through ,holland and ,france1 he devoted much of his time to making collections respecting the affairs of the navies of those countries4 ,pepys was a widower1 when his powerful enemies1 envying the greatness achieved by a tailor's son1 twice endeavoured unsuccessfully to bring him into grievous trouble on the alleged ground of his being a ,papist4 ,the accusation did him no disservice in the eyes of ,charles1 who appointed him ,secretary for the ,affairs of the ,navy2 which appointment he retained from #afgc until the constitution of the ,admiralty was changed in #afhj4 ,three years after1 he accompanied ,lord ,dartmouth on the expedition for demolishing ,tangier2 and shortly after his return was appointed ,secretary of the ,admiralty1 with a salary of #ejj per annum1--an appointment which he retained till the period of the accession of ,william and ,mary1 when he suffered temporary imprisonment in the ,tower1 and subsequent brief captivity in the ,gatehouse1 on the charge of being attached to the royal family of the ,stuarts1 and especially to the ex-,king ,james ,,ii41 at whose coronation he had served as one of the ,barons of the ,cinque ,ports4 ,in his dignified retirement at ,clapham he led a life of some luxury and considerable usefulness4 ,christ's ,hospital reckons him among its benefactors1 and the ,royal ,society among its honoured ,presidents4 ,he died in #agjc1 leaving behind him more books than money-bags2 but yet1 as he bade his heirs remember1 8more than what either myself or they were born to40 ,he best deserves to live in our grateful memories as the renovator of the navy of ,england4 ,james ,,ii4 long got for this the credit that was due to the gay yet efficient secretary2 but we now know that to a tailor's son is due the merit of once more raising the naval bulwarks of ,britain to be a defence for those at home1 and a terror to her assailants4 ,when the ,company of ,clothworkers drink 8the memory of ,samuel ,pepys0 out of the splendid cup which he conferred on that ,company in honour of his father's calling1 let them never forget why that memory especially deserves to be honoured4 ,when the elder ,pepys refused to bind his son to his own vocation1 he was unconsciously helping his country to achieve future naval victories4 ,of such a man then the profession may be proud2 and we will now proceed to collect from the son's diary some evidences as to how tailors lived1 moved1 and had their being some two centuries agone4 ,the first glimpse we have of ,pepys and his father is pleasant enough4 ,on the #bfth ,january1 #afei-fj1 he writes3--8,home from my office to my ,lord's lodgings1 where my wife had got ready a very fine dinner1 viz4 a dish of marrow-bones1 a leg of mutton1 a loin of veal1 a dish of fowl1 three pullets1 and a dozen of larks all in a dish2 a great tart1 a neat's tongue1 a dish of anchovies1 a dish of prawns1 and cheese4 ,my company was my father1 my uncle ,fenner1 his two sons1 ,mr4 ,pierse1 and all their wives1 and my brother ,tom40 ,the old man was still a tailor in the ,city1 when his son1 on the #abth of the following ,february1 records3--8,walking with ,mr4 ,kirton's apprentice during evening church1 and looking for a tavern to drink at1 but not finding any we durst not knock3 to my father's10--whom he found rejoicing that 8the boys had last night broke ,barebones' windows40 ,pepys was not ashamed of the old tailor1 but1 a fortnight later1 took him with him 8to ,mr4 ,weddrington1 at ,christ's ,college1 who received me very civilly1 and caused my brother to be admitted40 ,and indeed the old tailor saw very good company at home4 ,in ,june1 #affj1 while yet in business1 ,pepys and his wife1 on repairing thither1 found 8,sir ,thomas ,honeywood and his family were come of a sudden1 and so we forced to be altogether in a little chamber1 three stories high40 ,the old tailor moreover was a match-maker1 in his way1 for in ,august we find him 8propounding ,mr4 ,john ,pickering for ,sir ,thomas ,honeywood's daughter20 a propounding that was certainly made by one of the most singular of agents that ever undertook the business of the old firm of ,cupid1 ,hymen1 and ,co4 ,the father too appears to have been employed by the son2 the latter got him to make 8a black cloth coat out of a short cloak1 to walk up and down in10 when ,london was in mourning1 in ,september1 for the ,duke of ,gloucester2 and in ,october we find him again patronizing the paternal establishment1 where he calls on a ,sunday 8to change my long black cloak for a short one 7long cloaks being now quite out71 but1 he being gone to church1 ,i could not get one40 ,when the old house was broken up1 ,pepys consented to take his sister from off the now ex-tailor's hands4 8,i told him plainly10 he says1 8that my mind was to take her not as a sister1 but as a servant1 which she promised me that she would1 and with many thanks did weep for joy10 though it may have been for something else4 ,pepys was more generous to the old man himself4 8,my father10 he writes in ,december of this year1 8did offer me six pieces of gold in lieu of six pounds that he borrowed of me the other day1 but it went against me to take of him1 and therefore did not40 ,he seems to have occasionally had a joyous dinner or two out of his ancient sire to compensate for the sacrifice4 ,the death of ,uncle ,robert in the following year made a sort of country gentleman of our tailor1 who needed the advancement1 for the son1 on balancing his father's affairs as a tradesman1 found #de due to him1 with debts to the same amount1 and the balance of zero showing all that he possessed of his own in the world2 and yet the good old workman had sent his sons to college1 and that may account for his poverty4 ,in his retirement the elder ,pepys exercised his taste on alterations of his house at ,brampton1--changes which his son speaks of as being 8very handsome30 in other respects he was like great men in their retirement1 and amused himself by writing letters1 which appear to have been real 8letters of news30 having his crosses however1 as country gentlemen will have1 and those chiefly from legal disputes touching his inheritance1 which happily came1 nevertheless1 to a favourable conclusion4 ,pepys the junior warned ,pepys senior against the sin of extravagance1 and that with such unction that both counsellor and counselled and domestic listeners were melted to tears4 ,the end of the advice thus given was that the sartorius emeritus should keep the expenses of himself and family 8within the compass of #ej a year10--no very princely income1 it must be confessed1 and one that ought to have saved them from the subsequent reproach of the official son1 or rather of his lady wife1 touching 8the ill1 improvident1 disquiet1 and sluttish manner that my father1 and mother1 and ,poll do live in the country1 which troubles me mightily1 and ,i must seek to remedy it40 ,the remedy adopted to restore gentility to the hearth of the old tailor was one of some singularity4 8,all the morning10 says ,pepys1 under the date of ,september #d1 #affd1 8all the morning looking over my old wardrobe1 and laying by things for my brother ,john and my father1 by which ,i shall leave myself very bare of clothes1 but yet as much as ,i need1 and the rest could but spoil in the keeping40 ,magnificent benevolence6 ,but the old man doubtless looked modish in the son's cast-off suit1 and the influence it had on the locality is perhaps seen in the subsequent offer of marriage made to 8,poll10 the tailor's daughter1 by one who had 8seven score and odd pounds land per annum in possession1 and expects #ajjj in money upon the death of an old aunt40 ,this expectation was1 ,i suppose1 never realized1 for 8old aunts0 are proverbially immortal1 or given to cheat1 after tormenting1 their heirs1 when they do condescend to pay the long-standing debt of nature4 ,the wooer had however some positive advantages1 for he possessed neither father1 mother1 sister1 nor brother2 and the value of such a man cannot be too strongly impressed upon speculating young ladies4 ,to balance these advantages he had the slight drawback of being 8a drunken1 ill-favoured1 ill-bred country fellow40 ,on the strength of a prospect of increased gentility1 the elder ,pepys1 now half-blind and parcel-deaf1 rode up to town on horseback1 and saw the glories of the city1 and had his picture taken1 to hang in the dining-room of his illustrious son1 who enthusiastically records of him that he loved that son1 8and hath ever done so1 and is at this day one of the most careful and innocent men in the world40 ,pepys sent him back on a new horse1 and with #bj for the general use of the family4 8,it rejoiceth my heart10 says the journalist1 8that ,i am in a condition to do anything to comfort him1--he is such innocent company40 ,the old house of business in ,fleet-street perished in the ,great ,fire2 and up rode the ancient occupier of it on his new horse1 to view the spot where he had long toiled and which he could no longer recognize4 ,the journey was too much for the man of fine feeling1 and he returned home only to wrestle with long illness2 but we find him again in town in the following year1 where1 with his son and daughter-in-law1 he dined at no less a table than 8,sir ,w4 ,pen's1 which they invited us to out of respect to my father1 as a stranger1 though ,i know them as false as the devil himself40 ,by which remark we may see that society1 two centuries ago1 was not better than it is now1 which must be a vast comfort to all who make the reflection4 ,as ,pepys records of his father that he was the simplest of men1 we may fairly wonder that in the year of troubles1 present and expectant1 #affg1 he entrusted the old gentleman and his own wife with the mission of privately burying his gold4 8,my father's method made me mad10 says the son4 8,my father and my wife did it on ,sunday1 when they were gone to church1 in open daylight1 in the midst of the garden1 where1 for aught they knew1 many eyes might see them40 ,but ,pepys found remedy for this exquisite process2 and he afterwards spent some happy hours in the low-roofed cottage at ,brampton1 wherein the secretary expected to pass his own days of retirement1 and therefore loved to adorn it and to see it growing in prettiness4 ,finally1 the honest old tailor made a will1 in which he wrote himself 8,gent10 as though he were too modest to make the assertion in the full dignity of the complete word4 ,and in this will1 which could not have been drawn up by a lawyer1 for it is easily understood and leaves no openings for legal objections1 he bequeaths the lands and goods to which he succeeded at ,brampton1 to his son 8,samuel ,pepys1 ,esq40 ,he left seven pounds to the poor2 ten pounds to each of his two grandsons2 his largest silver tankard to ,pauline1--an appropriate legacy1 for 8,pall0 married the toper2 a gold seal-ring to his son ,john2 and if anything remained over and above these bequests1 he left the same to be divided among his three children1 amicably4 ,he left no debts2 and on that score1 the honest old tailor of ,brampton may rank before many a baron1 who neither paid his tailor's bills when living1 nor left wherewith to honestly discharge them1 after his decease4 ,if there was one thing ,pepys loved best1 next to good wine and good company1 it was the stage4 ,let us see if we cannot find him a brother among the actors4 ,,richard ,,ryan1 ,,the ,,theatrical ,,tailor4 8,honest man2 ,here's all the words that thou art worth40 ,,davenport3 ,the ,city ,nightcap4 ,dignum and ,moses ,kean1 the latter the uncle of ,edmund ,kean1 were one day standing employed in jovial converse under the ,piazza in ,covent ,garden1 when ,charles ,bannister passed by with a friend4 ,dignum and ,moses had been but indifferent tailors1 before the one turned vocalist and the other mimic4 8,i never see those two fellows together10 said ,charles1 8without thinking of one of ,shakspeare's plays40 8,and which is that80 inquired his friend4 8,measure for ,measure10 said ,charles4 ,it is a custom with some ,arab tribes for a man1 when he becomes a father1 to take his name from his son4 ,thus the bachelor ,mahmoud ben ,youssef1 or ,mahmoud son of ,joseph1 if he marries1 no sooner has a boy1 whom we will call ,taleb1 then he becomes ,mahmoud ,abu ,taleb1 or ,mahmoud father of ,taleb4 ,in some such fashion the poor tailor ,aaron ,kean has no other name in history than that of the father of ,edmund1--the greatest of our actors since the days of ,garrick4 ,the family of the ,trees has1 from as humble a source1 been as bountiful1 in its way1 to the stage4 ,the ever-youthful ,harley1--who looks almost as young now as he did when in #ahae he first appeared in ,london1 at the ,lyceum1 as ,marcelli in #8,the ,devil's ,bridge1'--is not far removed from the profession on which ,i have been touching4 ,his sire was a draper1 and he himself is said to have been initiated into the mysteries of stay-making1 and to have tried those of physic and the law1 ere he settled down to comic acting and delighting the town4 ,but ,i must go further back than this1 for my illustration of one who passed from a humble calling to add dignity to and gain credit in the exercise of a difficult vocation4 ,when the manager was busy 8casting0 a new tragedy called #8,cato1' written by a gentleman about town1 whose name is connected with the #8,spectator1' and lives in the 8,addison0 roads and terraces about ,kensington1 there was some hesitation as to the actor who should represent ,marcus4 ,a youthful and aspiring player looked blushingly on as the hesitation occurred4 8,there is hope1 ay1 and promise too1 in that blush10 said ,addison2 8,dick ,ryan shall be my lover40 8,why1 a year ago he was only a tailor10 whispered ,booth1 who played the principal character4 8,a ,london tailor10 said the manager1 ,syphax ,cibber4 8,and a present pretty fellow10 murmured ,maria ,oldfield4 8,and my ,marcus10 said ,addison1 8or ,i do not make over the profits to the house40 ,and it was so4 ,it may be a legitimate boast for the profession1 that ,addison selected a young tailor to play ,marcus in his tragedy of #8,cato1' and that ,garrick took from the same source some hints for the improvement of his ,richard4 ,in the latter case1 ,garrick and ,woodward went together to see ,ryan's ,richard1 thinking to be merry at witnessing such a character played by such a person4 ,ryan was then ungraceful in carriage1 slovenly in style1 and exceedingly ill-dressed2 but ,garrick discerned1 in spite of all1 some original ideas1 to which he gave development1 and therewith he struck out new beauties which he perhaps fairly claimed as his own4 ,foote alluded to this in a prologue spoke by him at ,ryan's benefit in #aged1 in which he said1 in allusion to ,ryan himself1 8,from him succeeding ,richard took the cue2 ,and hence the style1 if not the colour1 drew40 ,garrick1 however1 was not generous enough to allow of the young tailor's excellence2 and in ,bayes he used to caricature ,ryan's manner by delivering the passage beginning with 8,your bed of love from dangers will ,i free10 in a sharp tone and lengthened1 hesitating manner4 ,quin showed more regard for the ex-tailor1 by giving his farewell performance on the ,bath stage 7in #8,falstaff3' ,henry ,,iv471 not for his own1 but for ,ryan's benefit4 ,this was in #ageb4 ,the receipts were so great1 that ,ryan applied to ,quin1 in a subsequent year1 to repeat the performance4 8,i would play for you1 if ,i could10 wrote the generous old fellow in reply1 8but ,i will not whistle ,falstaff for you4 ,i have willed you #ajjj4 ,if you want money1 you may have that2 and so save my executors trouble40 ,ryan had years before this met with an accident1 which is so characteristic of the times that ,i may here recount it without apology4 ,it was an accident which made such services as those rendered him by ,quin highly acceptable4 ,he had been playing ,scipio1 in #8,sophonisba1' at ,covent ,garden1 and was passing down ,great ,queen-street1 about midnight1 when one from among a group of footmen stepped off the pavement1 followed him into the road1 and1 as the actor turned round1 discharged a pistol close to his face1 bidding him at the same time 8,stand and deliver60 ,the robber plundered the player only of his sword1 and that he dropped in the street4 ,as he was unbuckling it from ,ryan's side1 the latter said1 8,friend1 you have killed me1 but ,i forgive you40 ,the watch1 too polite to intrude upon the pleasures of the thieves1 picked up their victim1 and conveyed him to the house of a neighbouring surgeon1 who found that his patient had half his teeth shot out1 and his face and jawbone much shattered4 ,of course1 he was incapable of playing ,loveless1 in #8,love's ,last ,shift1' as he was announced to do1 on the #agth of the same month4 ,a benefit was got up for the wounded ex-tailor on the #aith4 ,everybody loved him1 and public and players exerted themselves in his behalf4 ,the play was #8,the ,provoked ,husband4' ,royalty patronized it2 and many who could not attend1 sent cheques on their bankers as their representatives4 ,ryan lay for some little time in a deplorable state1 and it was very much doubted whether he would ever be able to articulate again4 ,the public looked with sympathy upon their favourite actor2 and when1 on the #bfth of the following month1 ,april1 he made his appearance in a new part1 that of ,bellair1 in the #8,double ,deceit1' great was the delight of the playgoers to find that 8their esteemed ,ryan10 as he was called1 was little1 if any1 the worse in speech1 spirits1 or gracefulness1 and that the footpad's pistol had not destroyed the man for whom ,garrick himself had shown respect1 by at once imitating and caricaturing him4 ,ryan however never did perfectly recover1 although he retained his position on the stage for many years longer4 ,it was probably more necessity than inclination that kept him on the stage till #agfj1 in which year he died1 after playing the lovers in ,tragedy and the fine gentlemen in ,comedy for more than thirty years4 ,the line which he took was subsequently ably filled by ,charles ,kemble1 and for something like the same period4 ,but ,charles ,kemble had1 naturally1 advantages which ,ryan did not at first possess1 and which he only slowly acquired4 ,the former however was the subject of much critical ridicule when he first appeared1 so awkward was he in spite of his natural advantages4 ,if ,ryan never became thoroughly graceful1 he was always perfectly easy2 and1 notwithstanding a harsh and dissonant voice1 he could1 like ,edmund ,kean1 so manage that organ as to create good effect out of its very defects4 ,he had1 with some slight extravagance1 excellent judgement1 sense1 and feeling2 and ,johnson could not have said to the honest tailor turned actor1 as he did sneeringly to ,garrick1 that ,punch had no feeling4 ,in scenes where ,comedy trenched upon the domain of the sister ,muse by the exhibition of profound emotion1 ,ryan was very great2 and probably no actor has so nearly resembled him in this respect as ,mr4 ,robson1 whose origin is as modestly respectable as ,ryan's was4 ,they who can recollect ,elliston1 as he played1 in his latter days1 the genial ,rover1 may have some idea of what ,ryan was1 when he grew old1 in ,captain ,plume1--namely1 defiant of age1 and full of the natural assumption of a spirit that seemed backed by the strength which was not there1 but which had a substitute in irresistible goodwill4 ,the gay and graceful ,woodward was a contemporary of ,ryan's2 and though he was not originally a tailor1 he was a pupil of 8,merchant ,tailors'10 and1 if ,i mistake not1 head scholar there in his youth4 ,one good consequence resulting therefrom was1 that ,woodward never had a benefit without active and liberal patronage on the part of that establishment1 which felt itself honoured at ranking so distinguished an actor among its celebrities2 and distinguished indeed was ,harry ,woodward4 ,since his time the part of ,bobadil has never been justly represented2 it may be said to have died with him4 ,at a period when correct costume was not cared for1 he was ever careful regarding the proprieties of dress2 and1 more fortunate than ,ryan1 he sustained the assaults of ,time without letting the consequent ravages be seen4 ,charles ,mathews is1 in many respects1 exactly what ,woodward is said to have been2 but ,woodward could play a far wider range of characters4 ,his scamps were perfect for their cool impudence2 his modern fops1 for their brazen impertinence2 his fops of earlier days1 for their elegant rascality2 his every-day simpletons1 for their vulgar stolidity2 his mock-brave heroes1 for their stupendous but ever-suspected courage2 and his ,shakspearian light characters1 for their truly ,shakspearian spirit4 ,he was gracefully shaped1 and bore a serious dignity of countenance1 but he was no sooner before the foot-lights than a ripple of funny emotion seemed to roll over his face2 and this1 with the tones of a capital stage voice1 never failed to arouse a laughter which was inextinguishable until the green curtain separated the old pupil of ,merchant ,tailors' from his ecstatic audience4 ,the younger ,rich used1 like ,foote1 to ridicule actors who had abandoned other professions for the stage1 and generally on the ground of their ignorance4 ,but neither ,ryan the actual tailor1 nor ,woodward the 8,merchant ,tailor10 ever exhibited so much ignorance as ,rich and ,foote themselves4 ,rich always confounded the words turbot and turban2 and he was once heard to insist upon the necessity of 8laying the empharsis on the adjutant40 ,foote had more wit than ,rich1 but not more wisdom4 8,i almost forget my own name10 said the latter1 by way of apology for calling ,foote by no other appellation than 8,mr40 8,well10 remarked ,foote1 8,i knew you couldn't write your name1 but ,i didn't suppose you could forget it40 ,the latter displayed his own ignorance when he laughed at the idea of a ghost taking a corporal oath4 ,he forgot that such an oath was so called because it was taken on the corporale1 or cloth which covers the elements in the ,sacrament4 ,but even tailors on the stage would be nothing if the poets did not write for them2 and here is a poet-tailor to our hand1 doing honour to two crafts4 ,,paul ,,whitehead1 ,,the ,,poet ,,tailor4 8,he lived a poet in this town 7,if we may term our modern writers poets71 ,sharp-witted1 bitter-tongued1 his pen of steel4 ,his ink was temper'd with the biting juice1 ,and extracts of the bitterest weeds that grew4 ,he never wrote but when the elements ,of fire and water tilted in his brain40 ,,heywood3 ,fair ,maid of the ,exchange4 ,among the tailors who have been authors1 ,paul ,whitehead takes a very respectable rank2 which is more1 ,i am sorry to say1 than he does among men4 ,the career of the two ,whiteheads has a moral in it4 ,william1 the son of a ,cambridge baker1 was1 like ,paul1 the tailor's son1 a most successful tuft-hunter2 but then he hunted chiefly after patricians of principle1--of good principle4 ,william was a gentle lad2 he walked through the university of his native city with quiet credit1 and passed into ,lord ,grey's family as private tutor2 where he taught mildly1 and wrote classical tragedies of so soporific a nature1 that the reading of them might safely be recommended to the sleepless by hypnologists4 ,william the baker was a highly respectable and never-too-soon-to-be-forgotten individual4 ,it is otherwise with roystering ,paul the tailor4 ,chapel-yard1 ,holborn1 was the cradle 7in #agji7 of this boisterous and biting poet4 ,his father would have been content to see him take measures to follow his example2 but as ,hervagault1 the first pseudo-,dauphin1 quitted his father's board to make assault upon the throne of ,capet1 so ,paul1 backed by his friends1 aimed at the realm of rhyme1 and would wear his father's coats1 but would not make them4 ,his sire apprenticed him to a mercer2 the ambitious son went and entered himself at the ,temple4 ,paul was one of those daring wits whom profane men most admire2 and as the young tailor's style was one which had respect for neither ,olympus nor the mortals1 he became a laureate1 like ,william the ,baker1 but not1 like him1 poet-laureate to the ,king4 ,paul of ,castle-yard was laureate to the 8,bucks40 ,he was a member of the most reprobate clubs of the day4 ,he was a member of the brotherhood of ,medenham ,abbey1--not of the pious and pot-heaving ,cistercians1 who gurgled their throats with good old wine1 but of the ,god-denying and profligate crew that had ,sir ,francis ,dashwood for their prior4 ,paul was the ,parny of this and similar sets2 and when his patrons required a lay against loyalty1 a rhyme against royalty1 a metrical kick at kings1 songs against statesmen1 or diatribes against dunces1 the ,muse of the tailor's clever boy was ever ready for the nonce4 ,for clever he was1 despite the abuse of ,churchill--himself very far from immaculate4 ,if ,paul was a reprobate1 ,churchill was that1 and a parson to boot1--two professions which should never be united in one and the same individual4 ,and yet ,churchill wrote-- 8,may ,i 7can worse disgrace on manhood fall87 ,be born a ,whitehead1 and baptized a ,paul60 ,the man who wrote these lines was in every way inferior to him against whom they were levelled2 certainly inferior to him in talent1 though it perhaps may be conceded that he excelled him in vice1 power of abuse1 and ill-nature4 ,paul the tailor was to ,churchill1 the reverend bruiser1 what ,cobbett was to ,hunt4 ,the first had argument in his assertions2 the latter had as little logic as humanity4 ,paul1 too1 had taste1 and imitated only models of the rarest beauty2 and this imitation was better than a low originality without taste at all4 ,his thoughts were marked by a manly strength1 and his phrases abound in a rich vein of poetical expression4 ,his quarry was folly wherever found1 and particularly 8the big1 rich1 mighty dunces of the ,state40 ,not that dunces1 as he said1 were to be found there only3-- 8,dulness no more roosts only near the sky1 ,but senates1 drawing-rooms1 with garrets vie2 ,plump ,peers and breadless bards alike are dull1 ,st4 ,james's and ,rag ,fair club fool for fool40 ,and here is a pattern of the fashion after which ,paul laid his yard about the ears of one who was 8by birth a senator1 by fate a fool30-- 8,full placed and pension'd1 see ,horatio stands6 ,begrimed his face1 unpurified his hands4 ,to decency he scorns all nice pretence1 ,and reigns firm foe to cleanliness and sense4 ,how did ,horatio ,britain's cause advance6 ,how shines the sloven and buffoon of ,france6 ,in senates now1 how scold1 how rave1 how roar1 ,of treaties run the tedious train-trow o'er6 ,how blunder out whate'er should be conceal'd1 ,and how keep secret what should be reveal'd6 ,true child of dulness6 see him1 ,goddess1 claim ,power next thyself1 as next in birth and fame40 ,the author was a persecuted man1 rather that he was considered a tailor1 who had no authority to sit at home and comment on what was done 8i' the ,capitol10 than that he was a satirist4 ,pope was more severe2 but ,pope was a gentleman1 and was held unassailable4 ,if ,paul was prosecuted1 it was that ,pope1 in the penalties inflicted on the humbler bard1 might see the perils which did himself environ4 ,poor ,paul nevertheless grumbled at being thus made a scapegoat1 and he said thereupon3-- 8,pope writes unhurt2 but know 'tis different quite ,to beard the lion1 and to crush the mite4 ,safe may he dash the statesman in each line2 ,those dread his satire who dare punish mine60 ,so wrote the ,tory tailor who abused the ,whigs1 who were at that time most flourishing at court1 and most arrogant in drawing-rooms4 ,the day came when the ,tories took root at court1 and swaggered in saloons3 and then1 sooth to say1 court life and lounging in boudoirs seemed no longer reprehensible in the eyes of the satirist4 ,when he abused the throne1 he never expected to be allowed to make a cong at the foot of it4 ,benedick1 in a similar style1 when he abused matrimony1 never expected to be a married man4 ,and1 besides1 we may allow in well-abused ,paul1--once pillowed on his sire's sleeve-board1--the tergiversation of principle which was so coolly practised by such mighty fine gentlemen as ,dryden1 and that insufferably impudent and dishonest fop1 ,waller4 ,one at least of ,paul's works led to a public demonstration of some importance2 and ,i may as well notice it here as where it would otherwise as naturally come--under the head of 8,masks40 ,walpole1 writing to ,sir ,horace ,mann1 in ,november1 #agda1 says3--8,i believe ,i told you that ,vernon's birthday passed quietly2 but it was not designed to be pacific1 for at twelve at night1 eight gentlemen1 dressed like sailors1 and masked1 went round ,covent ,garden with a drum1 beating for a volunteer mob2 but it did not take1 and they retired to a great supper1 that was prepared for them at the ,bedford ,head1 and ordered by ,whitehead1 the author of #8,manners4'0 ,in this last piece the author had committed onslaught on some members of the ,house of ,lords2 the latter assembly summoned and imprisoned ,dodsley the publisher1 ,whitehead himself having absconded4 ,the publisher confessed that he had not read the tailor's strains1 but that1 as the work was a satire1 he had compelled the author to affix his name to the title-page1 and take the responsibility4 ,one of the libelled ,lords1 ,essex1 moved the discharge of ,dodsley2 and not only ,whitehead1 but ,pope1 was kept quiet by fear of prosecution4 ,whitehead had already known what imprisonment was4 ,he had1 like many a foolish youth1 been ambitious of maintaining an acquaintance with the actors1 and he was particularly intimate with ,fleetwood the manager4 ,he had not read the admonitory remark of the ,wise ,king1 that he who goeth security for his neighbour shall smart for it2 and the consequence of putting his name to a bond ultimately placed his person in bonds also1 and he expiated in the ,fleet his act of generous folly4 ,but he soon recovered from the effects of this4 ,he was something of a beau1 and he did what beaux were wont to do1--married an heiress4 ,the lady was ,anne ,dyer1 daughter of an ,essex baronet1 ,sir ,swinnerton ,dyer4 ,she was homely and somewhat imbecile1 but she had ten thousand pounds1--8dix milles vertus en louis bien compts10--and ,paul always regarded her as a woman who had rendered him some little service4 ,as duty was then accounted of1 this was acting with most singular uprightness4 ,he now took to what ,mrs4 ,partington calls his 8opium cum digitalis10 and ceased to publish1 though not to write4 ,his republican friends attacked him as a renegade2 his royalist foes assailed him as an atheist2 and ,paul laughed at both4 ,to show however that he had strength if he chose to exert it1 he wrote his #8,gymnasiad1' a punching philippic against boxing2 and he dedicated it to ,boughton the 8bruiser10--and all this in the face of fashion1 which then took prize-fighters by the arm1 and walked with them in the ,mall1 proud of the acquaintance4 ,the atheistical gentleman who turned his satire from the ,cabinet to the 8ropes10 was well rewarded by ,ministers2 and ,lord le ,despenser gave ,paul the post of ,deputy-,treasurer of the ,chamber1 with #hjj a year to reconcile the patriot to becoming a placeman4 ,he now took his annual tours like a nobleman1 and in the course of one of them he found himself at ,deal4 ,there1 in a little literary circle1 ,mrs4 ,carter met him1 to that pious and learned lady's profound horror4 ,she had scarcely patience to hear him read one of his productions2 and she who had translated #8,epictetus1' in order to gain consolation from his philosophy for being the native of a place so dull1 dreary1 dirty1 dear1 and dismal as ,deal1 could hardly recall a maxim or two to her mind to fortify her against the annoyance of playing second fiddle to the atheistical son of an old ,london tailor6 ,yet ,paul was one of the finest of gentlemen in his way1 and associated with the very finest of the same class4 ,he not only had his country-house at ,twickenham1 but a coruscant circle about him of wits whose brilliancy was not considered as tarnished by the most mouldy blasphemy4 ,he was1 as ,i have said1 the choice spirit of that club which met at ,medenham ,abbey4 ,we are struck with a species of horror when we contemplate ,augustus and his friends reclining at a banquet dressed out as1 and named after1 the gods whom they professed to adore4 ,it was a thousand times worse with the atheistical wits who met at ,medenham to drown themselves in drink1 to wallow in every inconceivable extravagance of vice1 and amid it all to laugh at ,heaven's lightning4 ,to crown the horror1 these exemplary individuals took the guise and names of the ,apostles2 and nude ,marthas and ,marys held the bowl to the lips of ,simon ,peter and of ,jude4 ,but enough of this awful habit of the day4 ,suffice it to say1 that ,paul ,whitehead and ,wilkes1 the immaculate patriot1 were the most licentious of these pseudo-apostles1 and gloried in their shame4 ,the hour in which the former was called to answer for the crime1 struck in #aggd4 ,paul was then residing in ,henrietta-street1 ,covent-garden2 and1 when he felt the hand of the ,inevitable upon him1 he burned all his erotic and infidel poetry1 as if that could hide his sins from the eye of his ,judge4 ,he added to this the heathenish folly of bequeathing his heart to ,lord le ,despenser4 ,that exemplary nobleman accepted the legacy2 and the precious bequest1 solemnly inurned1 was pompously borne to ,west ,wycombe ,church1 attended by a procession of minstrels1 singers1 and admiring friends4 ,as to the quality of the clergy present1 it may be judged of by the fact that they stood unprotestingly by while the vocalists1 engaged by the ,medenham apostles1 sang1 with rapt expression1 the following strophe3-- 8,from earth to heaven ,whitehead's soul is fled2 ,refulgent glories beam about his head2 ,his ,muse1 concording with resounding strings1 ,gives angels words to praise the ,king of ,kings40 ,when such things were sung of a ,medenham apostle1 in presence of an unprotesting clergy1 we need not wonder that there were a few serious men1 with a certain ,john ,wesley at the head of them1 anxiously seeking for a 8method0 to remedy the enormous evils of the times4 ,we perhaps have deferred too long to notice the establishment of which such men as ,stow and ,speed were members1 and which has furnished many a scholar or gallant gentleman to illustrate arts or arms4 ,let us then say a word of honoured 8,merchant ,tailors'40 ,,mems4 ,,of 8,,merchant ,,tailors40 8,my heart is yours1 ,and you shall see it spring1 and shoot forth leaves ,worthy your eye2 and the oppressed sap ,ascend to ev'ry part1 to make it green ,and pay your love with fruit1 when harvest comes40 ,,love ,,tricks1 by ,shirley1 a pupil of ,m4 ,t4 ,i regret to say it1 but the ,rev4 ,h4 ,b4 ,wilson1 the reverend author of that half-hundredweight quarto which gives the history of the ,merchant ,tailors1 and which the author hoped would find its way into our villages1 is ashamed of the origin of his heroes4 ,he has even enough of false pride to beg that writers will spell ,merchant ,taylors with a y1 and not with an i6 ,tailors with an i1 he says1 may be mistaken for a trade2 while ,taylors with a y may be taken for a name6 ,so was ,sir ,piercie ,shafton ever blushing at the idea of his father's calling2 and so do the ,smiths with an i1 fancy that they glide into gentility and euphony by becoming ,smyths with a y4 ,how long the ,city guild of tailors has sustained a corporate dignity it would be hard to say2 we know however that ,edward ,i4 confirmed the guild under their old name of 8,merchant ,tailors and ,linen ,armourers40 ,their symbolic shield bore a tent between two mantles1 denoting that the honest men of the guild made cloaks for all customers1 and tents for the royal army4 ,many a marquis has not half so delicate a device2 and the ,mercatores ,scissores have been worthily translated by those far less useful gentlemen1--the members of the ,college of ,arms4 ,the oath of the livery bound the new brother to the utmost possible respectability of life2 but the oath was not broken when the taker of it1 in a fit of enthusiastic pride1 broke the head of a 8,merchant ,skinner0 who dared claim precedency over the 8,tailor40 ,a 8bloody coxcomb0 was too often the crest of the valiant ,mercatores ,scissores4 ,of the members of the company1 in the olden time1 the most illustrious was ,hawkwood1 to whom ,i have assigned a chapter1 as becoming his super-sartorial dignity4 ,here ,i will only briefly speak of the school1 and the more illustrious men whom it has furnished to the public service4 ,the latter are bound to drink the immortal memory of the royal founder of the 8,merchant ,tailors and ,linen ,armourers40 ,the school was established by the company in #aefj-a1 8for children of all nations and countries indifferently20 a liberal provision1 which was contracted in #agca by an order of court1 whereby express exclusion was made of the children of ,jews4 ,among the statutes1 there is especial injunction that1 8in the schoole1 at noe time of the yere1 they shall use tallow candle in noe wise1 but wax candles only20 an injunction which shows less regard for grammar than gentility4 ,the school rather tripped at the beginning2 for though ,mulcaster1 the head master1 was an accomplished scholar1 the ushers brought with them from the north such a ,botian accent1 that the boys went home talking 8broad ,yorkshire60 ,mulcaster1 the master1 too could occasionally indulge in very harsh ,english of the vulgar tongue1 abusing the 8visitors0 roundly1--a rudeness that ought not to have been seen at a school lit only with wax candles1 and having six or seven and thirty scholarships at ,st4 ,john's4 ,mulcaster was a choleric man2 but in his mastership of a quarter of a century he 8turned out0 four bishops4 ,these1 when boys1 had been the widest awake1 while the master slept2 for1 as ,fuller tells us1 8he slept his hour 7custom made him critical to proportion it7 in his desk in the school1 but woe be to the scholar that slept the while4 ,awaking1 he heard them accurately2 and ,atropos might be persuaded to pity1 as soon as he to pardon4 ,the prayers of cockering mothers prevailed with him as much as the requests of indulgent fathers1 rather increasing than mitigating his severity on their offending children40 ,in our days1 ,dr4 ,hessey can make good scholars by a more merciful and dignified process4 ,wilkinson1 the successor of ,mulcaster1 had the famous ,whitelock for a pupil2 and under the third master1 ,smith1 we find at the school a boy named ,juxon1 who afterwards stood on the scaffold with ,charles ,i41 and smoothed the sovereign's path from time into eternity4 ,boyle and ,dee were also at this time young 8,merchant ,tailors10 whose subsequent manly merits reflected lustre on the old foundation4 ,smith's successor1 ,haynes1 was1 like ,mulcaster1 rather ready with his tongue and heavy with his hand4 ,he chastised unmercifully2 and1 on being menaced with complaint to the wardens1 he was so audacious as to declare that he did not care a 8phillip0 for them4 ,his ushers1 too1 appear to have been rough of speech2 and 8,bridewell rogue0 was the tutorial epithet for a rebellious pupil4 ,haynes too was accused of encouraging little lotteries for his own profit1 and not for the recreation of the pupils4 8,for10 says the complaint1 8you suffer none to drawe any one lott1 but those that bring xii4 or above4 ,your biggest lot is one grammer of x4 which is the greate lott2 the rest are ink-hornes1 hobby-horses1 gingerbread1 paints1 and puddings of very small value40 ,the master of ,merchant ,tailors' is indignant thereat1 and protests that not only is the matter one of pure entertainment1 but that he makes nothing by it1 and that he finds the drawers in 8dyett bread1 comfitts of all sorts1 ffiggs1 raysonnes1 allmonds1 stewed prunes1 wiggs1 beare1 and some wine1 and all kinds of ffrute1 which the season of the yeare affordes40 ,a story is told of one of ,haynes's pupils1 which1 like many other stories1 has had different individuals for its hero4 ,it is to this effect4 ,a very proud and an intolerably ignorant gentleman was constantly boasting that he enjoyed the advantage of having been a member of both ,universities4 8,you remind me10 said the old ,merchant ,tailors' pupil1 8of a circumstance worth narrating4 ,i have two cows at home which calved at the same time4 ,one calf died1 but ,i let the other calf suck both the cows40 8,well10 said the member of two ,universities1 8what was the consequence80 8,a prodigiously great calf indeed1 ,sir40 ,for many years the scholastic portion of ,merchant ,tailors' appears to have suffered by repeated visitations of the ,plague4 ,then came the ,great ,rebellion1 with a modifying of the rules1 which were made excessively stringent1 and under which the pupils were converted to as sour a series of classes as if they were enrolled in ,dotheboys ,hall4 ,but then came the ,restoration1 and therewith relaxation2 and the young 8tailors0 pushed up their beavers from off their eyes1 turned up their lank hair into seductive curls1 put their hands on their hips1 and looked saucily at the maids of ,cheapside4 ,in the midst of it all burst forth the ,great ,fire2 and the 8tailors10 for a time houseless1 got their lessons by fits and starts1 till they were once more tabernacled1 in high spirits1 within a comfortable dwelling4 ,one would have thought that all would have been harmony in the new house2 but such was not the case4 ,for some time1 indeed1 nobody could discover a grievance2 but having looked everywhere to find one1 and all in vain1 recourse was had to religion1 and of course a few were created instanter4 ,good1 the master1 continued to pray as heretofore in ,latin4 ,the boys roared out for plain ,english precations4 ,the ,city took various sides of the question1--for1 against1 and a little of both languages4 ,the ,latinists at last prevailed1 and the orthodox declared that the heel of the ,apocalyptic ,beast was on the brow of the scholars1 and that the sun of ,england had set for ever4 ,it is a sun however that hitherto has exhibited a great alacrity in rising again4 ,of course the zealous party ousted ,good in time4 ,the members of it held that daily prayers and much devotion after a ceremonious manner savoured of ,popery1 and poor ,good was turned out as a ,papist2 the boys marvellously improved1 and became very remarkable for their habits of 8profane swearing and debauchery1 and misdemeanours40 ,st4 ,lawrence ,pountney was imitating ,whitehall4 ,a good deal of irregularity prevailed throughout the periods of ,james ,,ii4 and ,william and ,mary4 ,one instance may be cited1 namely1 that of treating the boys who missed their election to ,st4 ,john's ,college with canary and cake4 ,it was like teaching them that drink was a solace for disappointment4 ,to be sure they had a sermon first from the chaplain2 but chaplains in those days were particularly addicted to punch4 ,see the consequence6 ,the school-kitchen was enlarged2 the boys were divided into the 8table0 and the 8bench20 and1 as an illustration of these jolly juvenile 8tailors10 it may be stated that ,sam ,phillips1 a 8tailor0 of the 8table10 seduced little ,will ,nash1 a 8tailor0 of the 8bench10 and took him to taverns1 and playhouses1 and gaming-houses1 and was tried for the same before the school authorities1 who found him guilty indeed1 but construed mild of human frailty1 and condoned him on promise of his mending his naughty ways1--which he1 like a gallant 8tailor10 scorned to do1 and turned out a reprobate accordingly4 ,not that the pupils were generally reprobate1 but the masters unwise1 and regardless of their own regulations4 ,thus1 when young ,buckingham1 who was a very worthy juvenile 8,merchant ,tailor10 wrote the play of ,scipio ,africanus1 and had it represented1 the masters1 who denounced stage representations1 suspended the duties of the school1 and sent all the boys into the pit to clap the piece4 ,it was like the ,british ,senate solemnly adjourning1 as both ,houses once did1 in order to see ,master ,betty play ,hamlet4 ,but let me do all justice to the masters4 ,if they turned their ,christian pupils into the pit of a very licentious theatre 7,lincoln's ,inn ,fields71 they exhibited their anxiety for pure morality by again turning all the ,jewish pupils out of the school4 ,israel was their scapegoat4 ,quin's #8,scipio' inoculated the boys and masters too with a scenic furor2 and the latter individuals consistently upheld the morals of the alumni by permitting them to perform the most beastly of the beastly pieces of ,terence1--the #8,eunuchus4' ,thus ,merchant ,tailors' sank or rose to the nasty practice of ,westminster2 and again ,i say1 8,see the consequence60 ,garrick1 who used to patronize the performances1 enticed ,silvester1 who played in the epilogue to the #8,phormio1' to a wider stage2 and ,silvester's readiness to play anything1 from ,hamlet to harlequin1 was subsequently immortalized by ,bannister1 ,junior1 in the character of ,sylvester ,daggerwood4 ,nor can excuse be taken under the plea that the masters only patronized the classic drama in a tongue defunct4 ,one of the masters1 himself a clergyman1 the ,rev4 ,p4 ,townley1 wrote one of the most lively farces in the ,english language1 namely1 #8,high ,life below ,stairs4' ,this1 too1 was long before the ,terence period of the ,merchant ,tailor plays4 ,it has had two very lively results4 ,mrs4 ,abington's ,lady ,bab fired many a 8tailor0 youth1 and the whole piece caused an insurrection among the liveried gentlemen in the free list who waited for their masters in the ,edinburgh gallery4 ,as for ,dublin1 when the ,abington went there and played ,kitty1 the fashion of her cap set the whole town in a fever2 and nothing else was seen on fashionable heads but one made after that illustrious fashion4 ,the matter was not mended at ,merchant ,tailors' when musical performances were subsequently introduced1 and the satires in ,ruggles's #8,ignoramus' were sung by the boys to sacred airs by ,soper1 by ,hasse1 and by ,handel4 ,the mothers of some of these lads had to regret1 like ,niobe1 that the gods had made their children vocal4 ,these operatic displays were ultimately suppressed4 ,finally1 under the mastership of ,cherry1 ,townley's successor1 a scene of another description took place1 which caused infinite commotion4 ,when the ,french ,revolution broke out1 the 8,tailors0 became infected2 and inscriptions scrawled on the walls of the school-passages proved how disloyalty pervaded the breasts of the youthful writers4 ,but from writing they proceeded to action4 ,on the #acth of ,january1 #agif1 the ,queen's birthday1 a tricoloured flag was hoisted on the ,tower ,walls1 where1 strange enough1 it was allowed to remain for three hours1 side by side with the royal standard4 ,the ,city burst forth into a tumult of indignation or delight4 ,when the authorities1 acting on information1 proceeded to the fortress1 the insulting emblem had disappeared2 but it was traced to a hiding-place beneath the bed of the son of the ,rev4 ,mr4 ,grose1 assistant chaplain at ,merchant ,tailors'4 ,the horrified sire burnt the rag of rebellion to ashes1 while his son confessed his guilt1 and implicated in the raising of the insurrectionary standard a fellow-pupil named ,hayward1 under whose suggestions young ,grose professed to have acted4 ,their fellow-pupils showed the vigour of their loyalty by nearly pounding ,hayward to a pulpy consistence like that of the men whom ,professor ,whewell1 as ,i have elsewhere noticed1 concedes as possibly existing in the wide plane of ,jupiter4 ,the offenders were solemnly expelled2 and since that period1 the establishment has flourished in usefulness to the public and credit to its conductors4 ,it is an establishment which1 despite some drawbacks1 has produced not a few eminent 8,merchant ,tailors40 ,i can cite but a few1 and1 among the many1 name the good and modest ,bishop ,andrews1 and the learned ,dove1 who in the reign of ,james preached the funeral sermon of ,mary ,queen of ,scots1 at ,peterborough4 ,spenser the ,greek scholar1 and the three virtuous sons of the virtuous ,sandys1 ,bishop of ,london2 ,fox1 the son and biographer of the ,martyrologist2 ,heth1 who logically tranquillized the public in #aehb1 when ,harvey of ,cambridge informed the world that it was coming to an end2 the pious ,bowsfield and ,gwinne1 who renewed a love for ,church music after the ,reformation1 were all 8,merchant ,tailors40 ,so too were those eminent ,oxford men1 ,searchfield and ,perin2 ,paddin1 the physician at ,james's death-bed2 ,ravens and ,buckridge1 ,latewar1 ,whitelocke1 and ,boyle2 ,price1 ,tomson1 and ,lymby1 ,rawlinson1 ,rainsbee1 ,sansbury1 ,lauson1 and ,tuer2 with ,wren and ,campin1 who upheld the honour of ,merchant ,tailors' at ,cambridge4 ,what they did in general learning1 in divinity1 poetry1 or law1 in the ,hampton ,court ,conference1 in the student's closet1 in ambassadorial councils or the tented field1 behold1 is it not written in the dictionaries of biographers8 ,to them may be added ,hutton the controversialist1 and the clever and profligate ,hill1 who lived an ,epicurean and died a ,romanist1 and to whose opinions ,ben ,jonson alludes when he says3-- 8,thou ,atomi ridiculous1 ,whereof old ,democrite and ,hill ,nicholas1 ,one said1 the other swore1 the world consists40 ,glancing our eye adown the long roll1 we distinguish the name of ,whitelocke1 who was indebted for much of his education to ,laud1 and who1 when that prelate was in difficulty1 refused to act on the committee whose members had determined to push that difficulty to death4 ,pious ,juxon1 the poetic ,lodge1 and honest ,foster1 the country clergyman1--who wrote a treatise called #8,hoplocrissma ,spongus1 or a sponge to wipe away the weapon-salve1 wherein is proved that the cure taken up among us by applying the salve to the weapon is magical and unlawful1'--these follow2 and1 not less honoured1 succeed the names of ,sutton and ,buckland1--the first1 zealous ,reformer2 the second1 as zealous ,romanist4 ,to these may be added ,wilde1 the dramatist2 ,jones1 the ornament of the ,english ,benedictines2 tuneful ,shirley1 a greater dramatist than ,wilde2 and ,hutton1 who was distinguished for his learning in ,french and ,italian as well as in classical literature4 ,further we find ,dr4 ,speed1 the son of the chronologist2 ,william ,meaux or ,meuse1 who is described as having 8entered in the physick line20 the loyal divines ,walwyn1 ,good1 and ,edwards2 and a host of men less known to fame1 and who were expelled the ,university for being consistent in their political opinions4 ,calamy is a name not to be omitted2 and ,archdeacon ,layfield is remembered as the clergyman who was punished for having the letters ,i4 ,h4 ,s4 in his church1 by being dragged in his surplice through the ,city1 and who refused to pay either fifteen hundred pounds or five to save himself from being sold to the ,algerines or the ,plantations4 ,snelling1 the tragic writer2 ,howe1 the naturalist2 ,frank ,goldsmith1 who wrote for love and not for hire2 ,gayten1 pleasant author of #8,pleasant ,notes upon ,don ,quixote2' ,hewit1 the clergyman1 executed for loyalty to the cause of ,charles1 and whom his old schoolfellow ,wilde attended on the scaffold2 and perhaps greater than all1 ,davenant the commentator1 brother to the laureate1 and son to ,shakspeare's melancholic host at ,oxford1 were others of the alumni of our house4 ,nor must ,i omit the name of ,will ,quarles2 ,calamy and ,shirley1 men even more noted1 ,i have already incidentally mentioned3 they both died within the same week1 of fright caused by the ,great ,fire of ,london1 a catastrophe which made a poet of another 8,merchant ,tailor10 the well-known ,markland4 ,indeed a great many of the pupils became at least respectable poets1 which is1 after all1 no great praise1 as applied to the sons of song4 ,pepys and ,evelyn record no more interesting incidents connected with the ,great ,fire than are to be found in the reports1 given by other writers1 of the deaths of these two distinguished pupils of ,merchant ,tailors'4 ,shirley had exceeded by two years the allotted aggregate of 8threescore years and ten0 when he and his second wife1 ,frances1 were driven from their habitation in ,fleet-street4 ,they took refuge from the flames in the neighbouring parish of ,st4 ,giles's in the ,fields4 ,but so overcome were this much-tried and ancient pair1 that they both died on the same day1 and within a month of the great calamity4 ,the hapless couple were buried in one grave in ,st4 ,giles's1 and became the associates of a goodly but silent company1--among others1 ,chapman1 the poet1 and translator of ,homer1 and ,lord ,herbert of ,cherbury2 a company that was afterwards enlarged by the mute presence of ,charles the ,second's 8,dick ,penderell10 ,andrew ,marvell1 the infamous ,countess of ,shrewsbury1 who held ,buckingham's horse while the ,duke slew her husband in a duel1 and ,sir ,roger ,l',estrange1 who is called 8the wit10 upon the principle of naming ill-painted animals on village sign-boards1--you would not have made the necessary discovery without the explanatory #8legend4' ,as for poor ,calamy1 he too died of the ,fire4 ,he was driven through the burning ruins1 and so shocked was he at the sight of the destruction that had fallen on the great theatre of his popularity1 that he never again quitted the room at ,enfield1 whither he was conveyed1 but died on the day that ,shirley and his wife were buried4 ,thus perished two of the greatest of the alumni of whom ,merchant ,tailors' can boast4 ,to the roll of those pupils we will again resort4 ,first among them we find handsome ,ezekiel ,hopkins1 with whom all the women were in love1--in love both with his preaching and his person4 ,oh1 happy ,ezekiel6 cunning ,hopkins6 ,presbyterian when ,presbytery was in power2 ,independent when to be so was to be 8,no4 #a20 and winning all hearts from the episcopal pulpit of ,st ,mary's1 ,exeter1 and subsequently ,st4 ,mary's1 ,aldermanbury1 when ,episcopacy and ,royalty walked hand-in-hand among the lieges4 ,excellent ,ezekiel6 ,but1 if he had his conceits1 his schoolfellow ,webb had his hobby2 and nothing could convince him that the ,chinese language was not the language spoken by ,adam and ,eve before the ,fall4 ,moreover there was the penniless and threadbare student ,bonwicke2 and the well-paid ,bernard1 tutor to the ,dukes of ,grafton and ,northumberland1 sons of ,charles ,,ii4 and the ,duchess of ,cleveland2 but for his employers he was too pure and grave a man4 ,and there was ,wells1 the ,nonconformist and1 sad blot in the school escutcheon1 ,titus ,oates1 who was also a nonconformist to morality and religion2 and ,needler1 fit name for pupil of such house1 and who wrote in defence of the ,trinity when half ,england had more delight in the argument than the end for which the argument was raised4 ,several others of the pupils1 now grown men1 in the reign of ,james ,,ii41 were hanging over their pulpits1 half ,romanists1 half ,reformers4 ,like the tomb of the old prelate at ,canterbury1 they were neither in the ,church nor out of it1 but a little of both4 ,indeed many of these men were singularly constituted2 and we may cite as an instance the case of young ,dawes1 who began his poetical career by composing a poem1 which ,i should not like to read1 entitled the #8,anatomy of ,atheism4' ,nevertheless ,merchant ,tailors' ,school boasted of ,dawes1 and of ,boulter and ,wilcox1 whose election to ,magdalen was called by ,dr4 ,hough1 the ,president1 the 8,golden ,election10 as the ,charterhouse boasted of ,addison4 ,the 8small change0 here hardly represented the value of the larger piece4 ,sayer and ,oliver1 two fellow-pupils of the school1 were successive ,archdeacons of ,surrey2 ,joshua ,barnes and ,peter ,heylin were also of the 8,table0 or the 8,bench20 and ,wright1 ,vicar of ,okeham1 was of the latter1 and not less famed for his steady refusal of all preferment4 ,like #8,silver ,penny1' so named for his pure eloquence1 though it might have been also for his liberality1 and who has made so exquisite a restoration of ,mongeham ,church1 near ,deal1 he loved the temple of which he was the priest too well to wish to change his office4 ,then there were botanical ,sherrard2 ,torriano1 of ,italian blood2 ,dee1 descended from that ,dr4 ,dee who fooled ,elizabeth so 8consumedly20 and ,william ,bridge1 himself the son of a tailor and draper1 and who contributed a ,threnodia to the cairn of melodious mourning heaped upon the dead body of ,william the ,third4 ,merchant ,tailors' had peculiar joy in the accession of ,anne1 for it was through one of the pupils that the succession of this sovereign lady was undisputed4 ,crowther had married her mother1 ,anne ,hyde1 to the ,duke of ,york2 and he did this so cautiously and entirely according to law1 with ample proof to support it1 that ,james strove in vain to procure an annulling of the marriage1 and ,merchant ,tailors' looked on the position of the female monarch as one which had been achieved for her by one of the popular scholars of the house4 ,it was expected that she would have shown her royal gratitude by conferring the ,bishopric of ,lincoln on little ,doctor ,dawes1 another scholar2 but ,dawes preached unpalatable truths to her1 and ,anne would not move him from an honorary chaplaincy4 8,you have lost a bishopric by your preaching10 said a good-natured friend to him4 8,i do not know how that may be10 said ,dawes1 8but ,i certainly never mean to try to gain one by preaching40 ,divinely well said1 ,o doughty ,dawes6 ,you well deserved what you afterwards attained1 the ,see of ,chester4 ,among the pupils who were raised to the ,bench1 ,mews1 of ,winchester1 was perhaps as remarkable as any4 ,his death certainly was so4 ,he was subject to fainting fits1 from which he was used to recover by smelling hartshorn4 ,he was once in conversation with a clerical friend1 when he was suddenly attacked by one of these fits4 ,he was speechless1 but he pointed to the bottle of hartshorn on his table4 ,the friend seized the bottle1 and1 opening the prelate's mouth1 poured the whole of the contents down his throat1 by which the bishop was suffocated4 ,notwithstanding this neat achievement1 the zealous clerical friend did not succeed to the vacant see4 ,i could name many more 8prelates0 and 8parsons10 who were all good men and true1 and who did honour to the establishment wherein they had received their earlier education2 but the glory of all these pales before the brighter reputation of ,ambrose ,bonwicke1 that 8pattern for a student10 who was ever so mild1 save when he helped his father1 the schoolmaster1 to flog the boys2 so loyal1 save when he refused to read the prayer for the prosperity of the ,house of ,hanover2 and so wise1 save when1 in honour of religion1 he brought on death by his austerities4 ,he lacked no eulogists after his decease2 and it is suggestive as to what was considered early rising in the days of the first ,george1 when we find young ,bonwicke praised for getting up at half-past six6 ,merchant ,tailors' ,school was prouder of him than it ever was of the greatly intellectual ,lowth4 ,on the other hand1 it was ashamed of ,tooley1 of ,st4 ,john's1 who edited ,tully's #8,offices1' for the good reason that he was a namesake of the author2 and this1 his poor qualification1 was also his solitary one4 ,he effected one other deed1--the seducing of ,amhurst to such bad ways1 that the latter ex-alumnus of ,merchant ,tailors' was expelled the ,university4 ,amhurst1 in a preface to his poems1 declared that he was so punished because he was said to 8love foreign turnips and ,presbyterian bishops2 and to believe that steeples and organs were not necessary to salvation40 ,amhurst was among the 8odd fellows0 of the school4 ,so was ,leigh1 who died at ,gravelines1 and whom the ,roman ,catholics proved to have died in their faith1 by burying him within the church in that lively locality4 ,duncan ,dee belongs rather to the bold than the odd fellows4 ,he will ever be remembered as the intrepid defender of ,sacheverel4 ,among the worthiest fellows was ,wheatly1 for ever famous for his immortal illustration of the ,book of ,common ,prayer4 ,among the stout-hearted fellows was that paradoxical ,dr4 ,byrom1 of short-hand notoriety1 who was loved for his wit and worth1 and whose diary has lately been published by the ,chetham ,society4 ,he was the son of a linendraper2 married for love2 struggled for life at his leisure2 earned a decent maintenance by teaching and practising the system of short-hand which he had invented2 spent his last days in well-earned ease2 and is famous for his epigrammatic epitaph on that irregular and chemical genius and jolly fellow1 ,dr4 ,byfield1 who invented the sal volatile oleosum1 and who was thus celebrated by ,byrom over a flask at the ,rainbow3-- 8,hic jacet ,dr4 ,byfield1 diu volatilis1 tandem fixus60 ,i may add1 as being worthy to be classed among the clever fellows1 ,derham1 whose ability was honoured by a sneer from ,voltaire2 and finally1 among the audacious fellows was ,zinzano1 a conscientious clergyman1 who thought to make ,milton be forgotten by writing 8an entirely new poem entitled #8,paradise ,regained1'0 which turned out to be a treatise on the art of gardening6 ,but the pupil whose name conferred most glory 7so it is alleged7 upon the records of the school during the ,georgian days1 was ,clive1--that young hero who began by climbing church-spouts1 and ended so miserably after he had added a wide empire to our little kingdom4 ,if the celebrated ,cline1 another 8,merchant ,tailor10 killed more men in the practice of his profession1 ,clive1 who was by no means contemptible as a slayer of legions1 added millions of living subjects to our imperial sway4 ,the only pupil who has been 8distinguished from the crowd by being remembered to his infamy10 is ,luke ,milbourne1 the antagonist of ,dryden4 ,it has been said that ,dr4 ,south was a pupil of ,merchant ,tailors'1 but this is not the case4 ,he was however appointed chaplain to the ,company2 and he showed how he appreciated the honour1 by taking for the text of his inauguration sermon the words1 8,a remnant shall be saved60 ,the greater portion of the men of whom the ,merchant ,tailors are proud1 are men who made themselves1 so to speak1 and were not indebted in any way for fortune to their tailors4 ,there was another class of men however1 of whom the contrary may rather be said1--men who assumed the poor vocation of the beau1 and found it a bankrupt calling4 ,they have existed in all ages1 and we will go back to those of old times4 ,seniores priores4 ,chapters on ,beaux4 ,,the ,,beaux ,,of ,,the ,,olden ,,time4 8,le ,beau ne plat qu'un jour1 si le ,beau n'est utile40--,,st4 ,,lambert4 ,dress1 like all other things1 has been amply used and abused in all ages2 but there is this to be said for man1 that he is the only animal born without being provided with a necessary costume4 ,this shows that he is a migratory animal2 and if he be not naturally covered so as to suit all climates and himself1 he has reason given him to meet all exigencies1 and it is only a pity that he exhibits so little taste in the application of it4 ,his storehouse1 or rough wardrobe1 is in the vegetable and animal kingdom2 and plants die that man may live1 and animals are skinned that the lord of creation may be covered4 ,the passion for fine dressing commenced undoubtedly with the ladies4 ,when the ,tyrian ,alcides was one night loitering by the sea-side1 his arm encircling one of those nymphs whom demigods and boatswains' mates find in every port1 and their eyes1 when not looking into each other1 were fixed on the shadowy splendour of the western star1 his dog1 a lank and hungry hound1 came upon a shell1 which he immediately began crunching4 ,thereupon there issued a liquid from the expiring fish within1 so exquisite in colour that it attracted the eyes of the lady1 who immediately declared that never again should she know peace of mind until she had a dress of that self-same hue4 ,she bade the hero never to appear in her presence again until the garment was procured2 and poor ,hercules1 who appears to have had as much perplexity about ladies' petticoats as lions' hides1 was sadly puzzled before he and an eminent firm succeeded in procuring a dye which produced a garment of the hue required1 and would have made the fortune of the discoverers1 had they not been accustomed to the same sort of extravagances which make bankrupts of ,london tradesmen4 ,in spite of this1 the ,tyrian purple long held on ,fashion's throne an undisputed sway2 and no beau of old appeared in the world without a mantle of this colour hanging from his ivory shoulders4 ,agesilaus was one of this fashion-determining class2 but unlike modern followers of the philosophy of the mode1 he turned his ideas of dress to good account4 ,for instance1 when he was combating in ,pontus against the barbarians1 as the finely-clad and tender-hearted gentlemen there were called by their enemies1 ,agesilaus saw that they were most superbly attired1 but that they also were very delicate of body4 ,he accordingly gave orders that all the captains should be brought in naked1 and be sold by the public crier2 but that their garments should be sold separately4 ,and this he did that the allies might know that they had to fight for rich spoils with a poor enemy1 and so might rush to the attack with greater ardour4 ,he had the picking of the spoil for his own wardrobe4 ,alexander and his friends were probably the best-dressed men of all the ,greeks at any period4 ,of one of these friends1 ,agnon1 it is said he wore gold nails in both his slippers and sandals1--a piece of pride which was like that of the ,english farmer during the late war1 who went to a market-dinner in a coat garnished with gold buttons4 ,the vanity of the farmer was wounded at finding that they attracted no notice2 and he clumsily tried to feed his pride and win observation by remarking1 that 8it certainly weer very warm work to wear goold buttons in the dog-days60 ,alexander of course slept on a couch of gold4 ,great ,ammon's son deserved no less a bed2 but ,i can hardly credit the assertion that the sovereign's tent contained a hundred such beds1 and that the tent itself was supported by fifty columns of gold4 ,the beds however may not have been for one individual's use1 and the tent was as vast as a barracks3 the couches may therefore have been for the general officers4 ,five hundred ,persians kept guard therein4 ,these were the ,melophores1 the 8apple-bearers10 who carried a golden apple on the points of their lances1 and who were the admiration of all the maid-servants of the district1 attired as the ,melophores were in uniforms of purple and yellow4 ,these were surpassed by the thousand archers1 in their mantles of flame-colour1 violet1 or celestial blue4 ,these were irresistible2 the ladies at least said so1 if the enemy did not2 but even they achieved fewer conquests 7,i allude less to the field than the bower7 than the five hundred ,macedonian ,argyraspides1 the corps of 8silver bucklers10 behind whose shields however beat hearts more easily reached by the feathered shafts of ,dan ,cupido than by the javelins of the foe4 ,the purple-robed guard of ,alexander was his chosen troop1 his cent-garde1 charged with watching over his personal safety1 and seeing that he got safely to bed when his divinity was exceedingly drunk4 ,they were terrible coxcombs1 were these guards1 and would condescend to the folly of flinging eggs at the passers-by1 as though they knew no better than military gentlemen returning from ,epsom1 or a wrathful curate of the district of ,st4 ,barnabas pelting an anti-puseyite4 ,these men cared little whether ,alexander were a god or not1 but they had a firmly fixed idea that their tailor had a family claim upon ,olympus4 ,but what were these to ,alcisthenes the ,sybarite1 who has been immortalized by ,aristotle8 ,this rather fast individual had a coat of such magnificent material1--the coat worn by ,prince ,esterhazy1 and which that magnate never put on without losing ,i really do not know how many hundred pounds' worth of pearls and diamonds1 was1 in comparison1 a coat for the ,sybarite's valet1--,alcisthenes had a habit1 ,i say1 of such richness1 that1 on the day of the festival of ,juno1 it was exposed on ,mount ,lacinium1 to the veneration of the crowds who annually repaired thither from all parts of ,italy4 ,it became the most attractive feature of the festival2 and the shrines were passed by1 that the pilgrims might fall into ecstasy in presence of ,alcisthenes' coat4 ,it subsequently fell into the hands of old ,dionysius1--a ,jew in his way1 as we all know1--and he sold it for one hundred and twenty talents to the ,carthaginians3 it was the highest price ever realized for such a garment4 ,but it was not the only coat exalted1 like the serpent of old1 to win insane worship from imbecile idolators4 ,gibbon smiles with warrantable contempt upon the ,roman priests who1 behind the altar1 were preparing miracles wherewith to astound the people4 ,a deeper contempt attaches to the several priests who compelled two poor honest tailors1 or weavers rather1 to produce the duplicate coats1 without a seam1 each warranted to have been worn by the ,great ,victim ere ,he passed to ,calvary1 and before each of which1 as the only one genuine1 thousands1 ay millions1 have flung themselves down in speechless ecstasy4 ,there is the one ,holy ,coat at ,treves1 and the one ,holy ,coat at ,moscow2 and the priests at either place will tell you that there were never two4 ,the ,empress ,helena discovered that of ,treves1 says the legend4 ,a ,shah of ,persia made a present of the ,moscow garment to the ,czar4 ,its genuineness was warranted by a ,russian archbishop1 who declared that1 in a church in ,georgia1 a golden box placed upon a column had long contained this coat1 and that it was doubtless the seamless coat of our ,lord4 ,a ,muscovite monk standing by clinched the lie1 by adding1 that when the soldiers cast lots for the possession of the coat1 it fell to one who lived in ,georgia1 and that this was the identical garment4 ,really1 when we think seriously of these things1 we must not be too hard upon those who reverenced the coat of the ,sybarite4 ,to return to ,alexander3 he was the despair of all men who1 desirous of following the fashion as he gave it1 lacked means to realize the desire4 ,he was to his generals1 what very rich ,hussar colonels are to the younger and poorer officers2 or what ,count ,d',orsay used to be to the counter-dandies of the ,metropolis4 ,ephippus lived in the time of ,commodus2 and in allusion to that ,emperor1 who used to dress himself as ,hercules1 and go out daily in his car with the hero's club1 like a gold-headed cane1 between his legs1 he says3--8,is it extraordinary that in our days ,commodus does this1 when ,alexander1 a pupil of ,aristotle1 did worse in the olden time80 ,certainly1 in the article of dress1 the son of ,philip was as different from the simplicity of his father1 as the ,prince ,regent from ,george ,,iii4 ,not only did he wear the lion's skin1 and call himself ,hercules1 but1 in private intercourse with his friends1 he put on the winged cap and the ankle-pinions of ,mercury4 ,if ,i may say so without profanity1 ,i would remark1 that if ,prince ,albert were to walk through ,kensington ,gardens attired like ,david1 with a sling and a stone in his hand to fling at the first fat gentleman he might encounter1 he would not be committing a more unseemly act than ,alexander was doing when he decked himself out to look like ,mercury4 ,but when this wretched madman1 the ,macedonian ,i mean1 rode out in his chariot1 and forgetful of his wry neck--for he had a wry neck1 and limped to boot1--and despite his very red nose and his blood-shot eyes1 dressed like ,diana1 the goddess of ,chastity1 a ,persian purple robe about him1 and over his naked shoulder a bow and a quiver1--he must have looked as ridiculous in the eyes of the beholders1 as if the late ,sir ,william ,curtis1 who was so solemnly ridiculous in kilts1 had exhibited himself daily in front of the ,mansion-house in the dress and attitude of the ,magdalene of ,correggio4 ,in more modern days1 we have had the gods and goddesses assumed by mortal men2 but then it has been to amuse1 and not to awe the multitude4 ,they were often introduced in the medival shows when ,burgundy exulted in her ,dukes4 ,i may cite1 as an instance1 the solemnity of the first entry into ,lille of ,charles the ,bold1 in his character of ,duke of ,burgundy4 ,the delicate citizens got up a 8mystery0 whereby to do honour to the refined prince1 which excited great amusement4 ,it was 8,the ,judgement of ,paris40 ,to represent ,venus1 a tall and enormous woman had been selected1 who weighed some twenty stone2 ,juno was as tall as ,venus1 but she was withered and lean2 ,minerva bore a hump both before and behind2 while all three goddesses were naked1 only wearing rich crowns upon their heads4 ,charles the ,bold must have been as much pleased with pastime like this1 as ,dr4 ,pusey would doubtless be were he1 in company with ,father ,newman1 to take advantage of an order for two1 and go and see ,mr4 ,paul ,bedford in the part of ,norma4 ,mark ,antony was1 despite his habit of getting drunk by daylight1 so careful a dresser that he may be ranked among the beaux4 ,indeed he was specially fantastic in some of his fashions2 and1 by way of proof that he was the very 8first fine gentleman0 of his day1 it is only necessary to cite what ,textor says of him in the preface to the #8,cornucopia1' namely1 8,m4 ,antonius1 ,triumvir1 corporis excrementa non nisi vasis aureis excipiebat40 ,the ,scandinavian beaux were as fantastically nice in some of their fashions4 ,rough as they were1 there were many who wasted some amount of thought on the adornment of their persons4 ,such an individual was the pride of his relatives1 and by these he was called1 not the flower1 but the leek of the family3 he generally smelt a good deal stronger4 ,of such a dandy1 his kindred were as proud as the 8blood0 of ,caffarelli was of that smartly-dressed singer4 ,but ,caffarelli was a vocal beau who sang to some tune4 ,he lived in a palace of his own building4 ,over the gate was this inscription3--8,amphion ,thebas1 ego domum20 and he purchased for his nephew and heir the ,dukedom of ,sante ,dorato4 ,that was a well-dressed uncle1 of whom his nephew might well be--what he was not1 of course--gratefully proud4 ,scandinavia reminds me of the great ,gustavus ,adolphus4 ,he was not indeed himself a beau1 but he was the first who made modern soldiers such4 ,it was a consequence of his insisting on the necessity of the men being well clothed1 and kept clean and warm4 ,except among ,pompey's cohort1 this was not the custom of the ancients1 with whom prevailed the maxim1 8horridum militem esse decet40 ,so too thought ,tilly1 whose doctrine on the matter was comprised in the phrase1 8,a ragged soldier and a bright musket40 ,some of ,gustavus's officers became the tightest-laced 8exquisites0 of suffering humanity1 and reduced their outward surface to such a degree1 that1 had they lived in remoter times1 they might have passed for those unhappy persons who had entered the temple of ,jupiter in ,arcadia1 despite prohibition4 ,the well-known consequence of such an act was1 that the offender became for ever shadowless4 ,there is a race of men1 not at all thin1 and as rich dressers as ,gustavus's captains2 ,i mean the ,cardinals4 ,there is a reason for their wearing red garments4 ,persons of early ,church days used to draw ,christian zodiacs and solar systems4 ,in the former1 the saints took the place of the old signs4 ,in the latter1 the planets were allotted to different religions4 ,the sun belongs to ,christianity2 ergo1 ,sunday is the sabbath4 ,rome is the solar1 and therefore the holy city2 and accordingly the ,cardinals wear red1 because it is the colour of the sun4 ,to revert once more to the pupil of ,aristotle1 there remains but to be said that it was only on state occasions that he appeared in the mantle1 sandals1 and horns of ,ammon4 ,his ordinary dress was a chlamys of purple1 a striped tunic 7white on a coloured ground71 and a wide-flapped hat or cap1 with the royal diadem girt around it4 ,he was in fact ,king of ,fashion as well as ,king of ,men2 and1 like ,count ,d',orsay1 he not only patronized tailors1 but1 unlike the ,count1 paid their bills4 ,the two men1 in all other respects1 were very different2 and it cannot be said of them1 as of ,mr4 ,hunt's #8,light of the ,world1' and his fast man in the #8,awakened ,conscience1' that they are one and the same person in two costumes4 ,the ,greeks generally were remarkable for possessing tailors who worked more according to the locality of their birth than to their merits2 thus1 ,xenophon tells us1 in his ,life of ,socrates1 that ,demeas1 being a ,collytensean1 supported his household by making cassocks2 while ,menon1 whose birthplace is not given1 effected the same object by making cloaks4 ,the custom however is more clearly defined when he adds that the ,megarensians supported their families by making short jackets4 ,aristophanes1 in his #8,acharnians1' alludes to this fashion when he makes the jovial ,dicaopolis say1 8,certain rascally fellows1 base coin1 unfranchised1 and counterfeit1 and alien citizens1 were in the habit of informing against the small cloaks of the ,megarians40 ,between 8cloak0 and 8jacket10 we may conclude that the article was a vest1 or an 8almaviva10 or mantle1 and that it was no more lawful to wear it in ,athens when the state was at war with ,megara than it was in accordance with our 8customs0 a century ago to wear garments embroidered with gold-lace from ,france4 ,this barbarous habit of denouncing the employment of an article1 simply because it is the production of1 or named from1 an enemy1 is still prevalent in the dominions of the ,czar4 ,if the thing be used1 the name must be changed4 ,were we to follow the same fashion1 no ,englishman would condescend to put on a pair of 8,russia ducks40 ,but ,i have fallen into modern illustrations of the beau4 ,when that superb animal is being treated of by ,dryden1 the poet names the various characteristics of divers beaux1 from whom ,sir ,fopling ,flutter had derived his own united excellences1 which made of him the recognized 8,man of ,mode40 ,these are among them3-- 8,his various modes from various fathers follow3 ,one taught the toss1 and one the new ,french wallow2 ,his sword-knot1 this2 his cravat1 this design'd2 ,and this1 the yard-long snake he twirls behind4 ,from one the sacred periwig he gain'd1 ,which wind ne'er blew1 nor touch of hat profaned4 ,another's diving bow he did adore1 ,which1 with a bag1 casts all the hair before2-- ,till he with full decorum brings it back1 ,and rises with a water-spaniel shake40 ,i have elsewhere noticed that for a 8beau0 to comb his peruke was a matter of serious business2 but it was even more4 ,to do so in presence of a 8belle0 was to behave to her as became the very pink of politeness4 8,a wit's wig10 says ,wycherly's #8,ranger1' 8has the privilege of being uncombed in the very playhouse1 or in the presence0 8,ay10 interrupts ,dapperwit1 8but not in the presence of his mistress2 'tis a greater neglect of her than himself4 ,if she has smugg'd herself up for me1 let me plume and flounce my peruke a little for her2 there's ne'er a young fellow in town but will do as much for a mere stranger in the playhouse4 ,pray lend me your comb40 8,well10 says ,ranger1 8,i would not have men of wit and courage make use of every fop's mean arts to keep or gain a mistress40 ,dapperwit4 8,but don't you see every day1 though a man have ne'er so much wit and courage1 his mistress will revolt to those fops who wear and comb perukes well8 ,she comes6 she comes6 pray1 your comb60 and thereupon1 snatching ,ranger's comb1 he commences drawing it through the wavy honours of his wig1 in order to do honour to1 and be seen doing it by1 his 8dear ,miss ,lucy40 ,in such wise did ,wycherly hold the mirror up to nature1 as ,i find it in his ,comedies1 published by ,richard ,bentley1 not of ,new ,burlington-street1 but by his good ancestor1 who1 in #afid1 tabernacled 8at the ,post ,house1 in ,russell-street1 in ,covent ,garden1 near the ,piazza's10 as it is written2 and who delighted the then novel-reading world with such delectable novels as #8,zelinda1' #8,count ,brion1' #8,the ,happy ,slave1' #8,the ,disorders of ,love1' #8,the ,pilgrim1' in two parts1 and #8,the ,princess of ,montferrat4' ,and ,i can only express my admiration at the courage of our great-grandmothers1 who learned what was unprofitable and not amusing at so vast an outlay of most patient labour4 ,to one or two modern 8beaux0 of great celebrity ,i will now introduce you4 ,here is a jaunty1 impudent1 over-dressed gentleman approaching1 who will admirably suit our purpose4 ,pray allow me3--8,gentle ,reader1 ,beau ,fielding40 8,beau ,fielding1 ,gentle ,reader40 ,,beau ,,fielding4 8,he pass'd his easy hours1 instead of prayer1 ,in madrigals and ,philising the fair40--,,garth',s ,dispensary4 ,goldsmith once shed tears from his simple1 unsophisticated eyes1 as he passed through a village at night1 and thought that the sleeping inhabitants were unconscious how great a man was journeying that way4 ,i fancy that most people who pass the ,reigate station are in a similarly ignorant state of unconsciousness1 and are not at all aware that they are close upon the cradle of ,orlando the ,fair4 ,i have heard the pleasant author of that pleasant story1 #8,crewe ,rise1' remark that the worthies of ,suffolk count in greater numbers than the worthies of any other county4 ,if worthiness be 8greatness10 in the sense of ,jonathan ,wild1 ,suffolk may envy ,surrey such a son as ,robert ,fielding4 ,the father of this incomparable youth was a cavalier squire1 with something like #ejj per annum to nourish his dignity4 8,bob0 was early entered at the ,temple1 where he behaved like a ,templar2 was too idle to study the constitution of ,england1 but very actively worked at the ruin of his own4 ,he thought ,fleet-street vulgar1 and removed to ,scotland-yard1 next door to the court1 which then rioted at ,whitehall4 ,the 8beauty0 of his neighbour attracted the notice of that other scamp1 ,charles ,,ii42 and as ,fielding was too handsome for anything1 the ,king only made him a ,justice of the ,peace4 ,the women however left him none2 and their importunities induced him to abandon justice1 and devote himself to wine1 love-making1 and living upon pensions from female purses4 ,in a succeeding reign he gave up the ,church1 as he had before surrendered justice2 and when ,james ,,ii4 was ,king1 ,fielding assumed ,romanism as a good speculation1 and was especially zealous not only in protecting ,popish chapels from the populace1 but in giving asylum to the prettiest devotees of that faith who flew to his bosom for refuge4 ,he stuck to his profession under ,william ,,iii42 that is1 he made none at all2 and as he was accounted of no religion1 his friends had no difficulty in getting him nominated ,major-,general4 ,i think this must have been in the ,horse ,marines4 ,the gallant officer was1 at all events1 never in fray more serious than with sleepy watchmen and slip-shod waiters1 whom he ran through 7he was an excellent runner1 when peril pursued7 with the most astonishing alacrity4 ,he was the handsomest man and the most extravagantly splendid dresser of his day4 ,when he passed down the ,mall at the fashionable hour1 there was a universal flutter and sensation4 8,o',carroll10 he would then say to his servant1 8does my sword touch my right heel8 ,do the ladies ogle me80 8,it does1 ,sir4 ,they do1 ,sir40 8,then1 ,o',carroll10 would the beau exclaim aloud1 8let them die of love1 and be d--d60 8,what a perfect gentleman6 what a delicious creature60 chorused the ladies4 8,ay1 ay10 said the beau1 8look and die6 look and die60 ,he was not kicked off the public promenade1 but he was occasionally so ejected from the public stage4 ,it was the habit or the fashion then for a portion of the audience to stand upon the stage1 and the actors played1 like mountebanks1 in a crowd4 ,it was further the habit of this superlative beau to make remarks aloud upon the ladies in the boxes4 ,the latter1--not the boxes1 but the ladies1--were not slow in flinging back retorts2 and the players1 enraged at being unheeded1 would then fairly turn upon ,fielding and turn him out1 with the ceremony1 or want of it1 observed in ejecting ill-bred curs4 ,but the beau was amply compensated for such treatment as this by the favour dealt to him by 8officers and gentlemen40 ,he was once being pursued by bailiffs sent after him by tailors whom he had ruined4 ,as hare and hounds approached ,st4 ,james's ,palace1 the officers on guard turned out1 attacked the myrmidons of the law1 pinked them all over till they looked like ribbed peppermint1 and finally bore ,fielding in triumph into the ,palace6 ,the equipage of 8,orlando0 was not less singular than he was himself4 ,he kept a hired chariot1 drawn by his own horses1 and attended by two footmen in bright yellow coats and black sarsnet sashes4 ,maidens sighed as he rode by1 and murmured 8,adonis60 ,admiring widows looked at him and exclaimed1 8,handsome as ,hercules60 ,he really did unite the most exquisite beauty both of feature and stature1 with the most gigantic strength4 ,boys followed him in crowds1 and hailed him father4 ,he showered among them as many curses as blessings4 8,did you never see a man before80 he once asked the foremost urchin of a youthful mob4 8,never such a one as you1 noble general10 answered the lad1 an embryo beau from ,westminster ,school4 8,sirrah1 ,i believe thee2 there is a crown for thy wit40 ,mr4 ,isaac ,bickerstaff states that the beau called himself an antediluvian1 in respect of the insects which appeared in the world as men2 and the #8,tatler' further says1 that 8he sometimes rode in an open tumbril of less size than ordinary1 to show the largeness of his limbs and the grandeur of his personage to the greater advantage4 ,at other seasons all his appointments had a magnificence1 as if it were formed by the genius of ,trimalchio of old1 which showed itself in doing ordinary things with an air of pomp and grandeur4 ,orlando therefore called for tea by beat of drum2 his valet got ready to shave him by a trumpet to horse2 and water was brought for his teeth when the sound was changed to boot and saddle40 ,amid all this1 the prince of beaux was speculatively looking abroad4 ,at ,doctors' ,commons he had seen the will of a ,mr4 ,deleau1 who left to his widow a town residence in ,copthall-court1 a country mansion at ,waddon1 in ,surrey1 and sixty thousand pounds1 at the lady's absolute disposal4 ,fielding resolved to woo1 and of course to win her4 ,his first application was made through an agent1 to a ,mrs4 ,villars1 who used to act as hair-dresser to the much-sought-after widow4 ,her services were asked for1 under promise of great reward1 to bring matters about so that ,mrs4 ,deleau should see ,fielding1 if it were only1 as it were1 by accident4 ,the beau thought that if the widow saw1 he would conquer4 ,were a marriage to follow1 ,fielding promised hundreds out of his wife's money4 ,the worthy agents failed to do their hirer's bidding4 ,he even called at ,waddon1 under the name of ,major-,general ,villars1 and was allowed to see the gardens4 ,he mistook a lady at a window of the house for the lady of whom he was in search1 and as she smiled when he put his hand to the left side of his laced waistcoat1 and made a bow till his vertebra was horizontal1 he concluded that his fortune was made2 and the next day he sent letters in his own name1 which the servants1 knowing the writer1 and having their orders1 dropped into the fire1--after reading them in the servants' hall4 ,the next move was an application to see the grounds at ,waddon1 professedly from the famous or infamous ,duchess of ,cleveland1 ,fielding's chief patroness1--so low had fallen the mother of dukes and the concubine of a king4 ,permission was granted1 but nothing came of the concession4 ,in the meantime ,mrs4 ,villars1 by no means disposed to lose the promised recompense1 persuaded ,fielding that the widow had yielded1 and would pay him a visit4 ,he was in a state of delight at the intelligence4 ,the lady1 however1 who was to pass as ,mrs4 ,deleau1 was a 8,mistress ,mary ,wadsworth10 who was ready for any joke1 and thought the one proposed the best she had ever shared in1--and she had been an actress in many4 ,these two sensitive creatures accordingly repaired to ,fielding's lodgings one soft autumnal eve4 ,the beau was in a flutter of ecstasy1 was continually on his knees1 and devoted himself to the lowest position in hades if he ever had loved any woman before4 ,the assumed ,mrs4 ,deleau was coy1 as became a widow with sixty thousand pounds and no encumbrances4 ,the lover pressed her to be married that night1 if she would not have him perish2 but she playfully touched his cheek with her fan1 and bade him wait and hope1--sad1 naughty fellow that he was6 ,after two more such visits1 the soft and tender creature was seduced to sacrifice her scruples1 and consented to a private marriage at her lover's chambers4 ,the party supped joyously together1 and then the bridegroom sallied forth in search of a priest4 ,he found one at the ,emperor of ,germany's ambassador's2 and his reverence having been introduced to the lady1 satisfied her of the reality of his vocation1 and in a twinkling buckled beau and belle together in a way1 he said1 that defied undoing4 ,all the after-ceremonies religiously observed in those refined days ensued2 indeed the marriage would not have been half a marriage without them1 and so all parties but the dupers were satisfied1--and in fact even they did not complain4 ,the bride left for home next morning unattended2 for family reasons1 she averred1 it was necessary to keep the union unrevealed1 and accordingly she only repaired now and then to see 8the ,count10 as her husband styled himself1 and to eat toasted cheese and drink port and vat-ale with a man who had married her1 as he exclaimed at the sacred ceremony1 8with all his heart1 soul1 blood1 and everything else60 ,there is no comedy of the last century1 however absurd the plot1 and coarse and ridiculous the incidents1 that is more absurd1 coarse1 and ridiculous than this comedy in which ,fielding was the hero and ,mistress ,wadsworth and the ,duchess of ,cleveland the heroines4 ,the beau was convinced he had married a widow with a jointure of a golden character4 ,the letters he addressed to the residence of ,mrs4 ,deleau must have caused infinite astonishment to that calm relict of the citizen of ,copthall-court2 but she held the writer as mad1 and thought little more of the matter4 ,in the meantime ,fielding1 who had patronized half-a-dozen tailors on the strength of his expectations1 mysteriously alluded to1 acted the strangest of parts4 ,he married her ,grace the noble ,barbara within three weeks of his union with ,mary ,wadsworth4 ,he provided himself with two stools for the support of his dignity2 and in the very fashion of the proverb1 he got very terribly bruised indeed4 ,the wretched duper turned out to be the dupe4 ,he had expended his cake and wine1 his petit soupers1 wax-lights1 and sconces all to no purpose2 he had run in debt for a ring with a posy of his own choosing1 8,tibi ,soli20 and he had paid an ,italian singer ,margaretta to come and sing to his beloved1 8,ianthe the lovely10 translated by himself from the ,greek4 ,he had looked for threescore thousand pounds1 and had been deluded into the idea that he was about to be the sire of a little 8,lord ,tunbridge10 and at the end of all1 the bride proves a common jilt2 goes boldly to ,fielding's lodgings in ,whitehall1 claims him1 as he walks into the street1 by the title of 8lawful wife10 and gets an unsavoury name by way of reply1 and a thorough thrashing into the bargain4 ,the affair soon came into the courts4 ,fielding1 a few weeks after his union with ,mistress ,mary ,wadsworth1 had espoused les beaux restes of ,barbara ,duchess of ,cleveland4 ,till he began to beat the ,duchess as well as the ,dulcinea1 he appears to have transferred his 8green nightcap and slippers0 by the hands of a servant from the bower of one beauty to the boudoir of another4 ,the ,duchess1 at length1 offered the first wife #bjj down and #ajj annually for fifteen years1 if she succeeded in establishing the first marriage4 ,accordingly1 the ,beau was indicted for bigamy at the ,old ,bailey4 ,he endeavoured to prove that his supposed widow had been married to one ,brady1 who was living at the time of her marriage with ,fielding1 and something like a forged certificate in the ,fleet ,register was produced to support it4 ,but with ,montague for opposing counsel 7,fielding was his own7 and ,powell for a judge1 the ,beau could make nothing of a very bad case2 and1 being found guilty1 he was sentenced to be burnt in the hand1--a sentence which he escaped by producing ,queen ,anne's warrant to stay execution4 ,he was accordingly set free2 and the ,duchess of ,cleveland1 being now also freed from him and his very heavy hand1 the ex-beauty1 but now be-rouged old flirt1 lived unmolested by anything more unpleasant than a very gentle remorse for her pchs mignons4 ,the ,beau soon fell into dire distress2 and a sketch of the complexion of this phasis of life will be found in ,bulwer's #8,devereux4' ,he is there described as 8terribly fallen1 as to fortune1 since the day when he drove about in a car like a sea-shell1 with a dozen tall fellows in the ,austrian livery1 black and yellow1 running before and behind him4 ,you know he claims relationship to the ,house of ,hapsburg4 ,as for the present1 he writes poems1 makes love1 is still good-natured1 humorous1 and odd2 is rather unhappily addicted to wine and borrowing1 and rigidly keeps the oath of the ,carthusians1 which never suffers them to carry any money about them40 ,the ,austrian livery however had disappeared after the break with the ,duchess4 ,the ,beau's den is probably more correct in its details4 8,the chamber looked like a place in the other world1 set apart for the ghosts of departed furniture4 ,the hangings were wan and colourless2 the chairs and sofas were most spiritually unsubstantial2 the mirrors reflected all things in a sepulchral sea-green2 even a huge picture of ,mr4 ,fielding himself1 placed over the chimney-piece1 seemed like the apparition of a portrait1 so dim1 watery1 and indistinct had it been rendered by neglect and damp4 ,on a huge1 tomb-like table in the middle of the room lay two pencilled profiles of ,mr4 ,fielding1 a pair of ruffles1 a very little muff1 an immense broadsword1 a ,wycherly comb1 a jack-boot1 and an old plumed hat2 to these were added1 a cracked pomatum pot1 containing ink1 and a scrap of paper1 ornamented with sundry paintings of hearts and torches4 ,upon the ground lay a box of patches1 a periwig1 and two or three well-thumbed books of songs40 ,the ,beau himself1 half bully1 half fribble1 a poet1 a fop1 a fighter1 a beauty1 is described as wearing an old morning dressing-gown of once gorgeous material2 a little velvet cap with tarnished gold tassel1 military boots1 and with a coarse and florid complexion as the remains of a beauty1 the expression of which 8had settled into a broad1 hardy1 farcical mixture of effrontery1 humour1 and conceit40 ,but all his effrontery could not keep him afloat1 and he finally disappeared altogether from the 8world20 and so little was known of his end that men disputed of his burial-place1 as of another ,atala1 and it was quite undetermined whether he died in ,hampshire or in ,holland4 ,the estimation1 however1 in which he was held is amply demonstrated in the annexed epitaph by a friend3-- 8,if ,fielding is dead1 ,and rests under this stone1 ,then he is not alive1 ,you may bet two to one4 ,but if he's alive1 ,and does not lie here1 ,let him live till he's hang'd1 ,for which no man will care40 ,in the #aacth number of the #8,tatler1' under the motto of 8,ecce iterum ,crispinus10 the catalogue is given of the effects of a defunct beau3 and probably with some allusion to ,fielding4 ,among the articles cited are 8,a very rich tweezer case1 containing twelve instruments for the use of each hour in the day40 ,to this succeed gilt snuff-boxes1 with looking-glasses in the lid1 or portraits of equivocal ladies2 8a sword with a steel-diamond hilt1 never drawn but once at ,may ,fair20 eyebrow brushes1 a 8pocket perspective10 a dozen pair of red-heeled shoes1 three pair of red silk stockings1 and an amber-headed cane4 ,the beau's 8strong box0 contains 8five billets-doux1 a ,bath shilling1 a crooked sixpence1 a silk garter1 a lock of hair1 and three broken fans40 ,his book-case is instructive3 on the upper shelf there are three bottles of diet-drink1 two boxes of pills1 a syringe1 and other mathematical instruments2 on the second1 there is a miscellaneous collection of lampoons1 plays1 tailors' bills1 and an almanack for the year #agjj2 the third shelf holds a bundle of unopened letters1 indorsed 8from the old gentleman10 with ,toland's #8,christianity not ,mysterious1' and a paper of 8patterns of several fashionable stuffs10--,toland's #8,christianity' being stuff that was very fashionable at that time4 ,the lowest shelf of all reveals an odd shoe1 a pair of snuffers1 a ,french grammar1 a mourning hatband1 and half a bottle of usquebagh4 ,these 8effects0 paint the beau of a by-gone time2 and ,fielding was the grand master of the petits-matres1 who were the proprietors of this very varied property4 ,there was however as great1 as impudent1 and as renowned a beau as he4 ,he comes this way in a white hat1 and his name is ,nash4 ,,beau ,,nash4 8,n'achetez pas vos principes chez ce ,gentis homo1 homme de la nation40--,,de ,,bonald4 ,the gaudiest flies spring from the most unsavoury of cradles1 and ,beau ,nash was born in ill-odoured ,swansea4 ,he used to say1 he 8could not help it40 ,like ,liston1 it had been his own intention to be born in ,shropshire2 but he and the grotesque comedian possessed not the privilege of the embryo saint1 whose prayers procured his birth in the locality and at the period which best suited himself4 ,accordingly1 ,richard ,nash was born at ,swansea in the stirring year #afgd4 ,his very boyhood was brassy1 as befitted so metallic a locality4 ,in after years1 when ,nash was at the most brilliant epoch of his butterfly period1 and it had for some time been remarked that1 much as the ,beau talked of other people1 he never mentioned his own father1 the ,duchess of ,queensberry1 in her ,grace's usual familiar style1 asked the meek ,richard if he were ashamed of his sire1 that he never mentioned him4 8,nay1 madam10 said ,nash1 8if ,i never name him1 it is because he has reason to be ashamed of me40 ,it was the only humble speech which ,nash ever uttered1 and it had truth for its foundation4 ,the sire of the gay ,richard was a quiet individual1 a partner in one of the ,bristol glass-houses4 ,he had more ambition than wisdom2 and he commenced blowing his son into a gentleman by sending him to ,jesus ,college1 ,oxford1 at the age of sixteen4 8,i hope1 ,dick10 said the honest man1 8you will distinguish yourself before you are a year older40 8,dad10 replied ,dick1 8,i will astonish you within that period40 ,and he kept his word4 ,before a year had expired he had taken first-class honours in puppyism1 had become the terror or temptation of half the women in ,oxford1 made an offer of marriage to a young lady as modest as himself2 and had got expelled4 ,he did astonish his father6 ,the good man1 on recovering from his surprise1 began to perceive that his first attempt at making ,dick a gentleman had failed2 but he was a determined individual1 and had resolved to succeed4 ,accordingly he bought for young ,master ,hopeful an ensign's commission4 8,now1 ,dick10 said he1 8the thing is done2 you are #8an officer and a gentleman' by right of your commission40 ,poor old citizen6 he might as well have said that the zenith was also the nadir by power of astronomy4 ,i believe ,nash entered the #dfth4 ,i am inclined to think so1 from the circumstance that he seemed to have lost his memory as soon as he 8joined40 ,he certainly forgot everything but what he had done well not to remember4 ,he forgot to get up to parade2 could never remember1 when he did rise1 the events of the preceding night2 even what the chaplain had said to him1 over the punch1 had gone out of his memory1 as it had from that of the reverend gentleman4 ,he was oblivious of every point of duty1 never recollected to pay his bills1 and was in all things a consummate scamp4 ,the colonel1 who might have endured a young fellow who was a more unprincipled scamp than himself1 could not tolerate one who was a greater wit4 ,he made the ensign's life miserable2 and as the ensign had determined that his life should not be of that quality1 he sold his commission1 and1 having spent the money1 did his father the honour of returning home4 8,go to the devil60 said his sire2 and ,dick accordingly came up to town1 and entered at the ,temple4 ,having done this1 he went to the gaming table4 ,it was impossible for son to show more alacrity in setting out on the journey whither his father had sent him4 ,the ancient gentleman to whom his sire had consigned him must have been proud of his young friend4 ,the latter was at dice one half the night1 at balls and assemblies the other half2 and he was in bed all day4 ,his gains were devoted not to the comfort of his appetite or the nourishment of his intellect1 but almost exclusively to dress4 ,he eclipsed every beau of whatever rank3 the women adored1 the men hated him1 but all acknowledged that a spirited young fellow1 who had been expelled college1 had found it convenient to withdraw from the army1 who was a ,templar 8for the fun of the thing10 and who was all gold lace and gallantry1 was worthy of being the leader of the 8ton20 and for that matter they were perfectly right4 ,he was the conductor of the entertainments given by the ,middle ,temple to ,william the ,third4 ,the ,monarch was so pleased with the ,master of the ,ceremonies that he offered to make him a knight4 8,that depends10 said the impudent beau1 8upon what sort of a chevalier your ,majesty would make of me4 ,if it were a #8poor knight of ,windsor1' ,i should be rich at once1 and well content40 ,the ,king shook his head1 and ,nash lost the honour4 ,he made up for it by gaining them at whist2 and he was so good-tempered a player that even his adversaries bore his triumphs without cursing him--much4 ,the truth is1 that he was a terrible rake2 but he was not a dishonourable fellow1 according to the then existing code of honour4 ,the ,templars entrusted him with some portion of their funds4 ,his accounts were once ten pounds short of correctness1 and he accounted for its deficit by saying1 that he had heard a poor fellow say that ten pounds would make him happy1 and he could not resist giving him that sum4 ,the charity was something like that of ,mrs4 ,haller1 who gave away her master's wine to the sick1 and got a character for generosity thereby4 ,however1 the ,templar auditors passed the accounts4 ,the beau's story was probably true1 for he was quick to feel for others1 and the readiest man at a lie of his own or any other period4 ,nash never frittered away his money in paying his debts4 8,doing that vulgar sort of thing10 said he1 8never procures you a friend2 lending money does60 and he was ready to lend to the great when the dice favoured him4 ,the young gentleman's maxim was quite worthy of one whose 8indignant parient0 had constituted him a ward of the devil4 ,his relaxations from town and ,temple studies further showed the respect he had for his eminent guardian4 ,during a country excursion he stood in a blanket at the door of ,york ,minster4 ,he professed to be doing penance for his sins1 and the clergy cut jokes with him as they passed4 ,he performed this pretty trick for a poor wager of half-a-dozen guineas1 and he performed a worse for a bet more trifling2 he rode stark-naked through a quiet and astonished village1--an achievement in which he was subsequently imitated by the father of ,louis ,philippe4 ,but these were little foibles the most readily forgiven by the ladies3 how could they be angry with a fine gentleman1 whose gallantry was so great that when he sat next one at table he made love to her then and there1 and swore with the most liberal parade of oaths that he never drank any wine but such as had been 8first strained through his mistress's smock60 ,and then the pretty process was gone through1 amid a world of wild talk that would nowadays somewhat ruffle even the ,vestas of ,cremorne2 but the fair creatures of ,william's age declared him to be 8a dear1 delicate10 and some ,lady ,bettys added1 in their grapy enthusiasm1 8a d--d gallant fellow40 ,his friend ,satan must have chuckled at the word4 ,it is quite possible that after some one of these orgies1 he was1 by way of a good practical joke1 carried off1 by a captain as drunk as himself1 on board a ship to the ,mediterranean4 ,it is quite certain that he disappeared for a considerable period2 and when he turned up again1 he not only told the tale of his abduction1 but averred that he had been in a naval battle1 and had received a ball in the leg4 ,he was one night repeating the oft-told tale in the ,bath rooms1 when a countess boldly expressed her disbelief of the alleged fact4 ,nash imprecated upon her the disease which very fine people who quarrelled used to fling at one another1 and then said1 as he put up his leg on her lap1 8,the ball is there1 ,madam2 and if you will1 you may feel it60 ,such was the ,beau in the ,bath rooms2 but at that period1 the women went thither in aprons1 the squires in top-boots1 with pipes in their mouths4 ,the longer they kept them there the better1 for they were no sooner out than forth flowed a torrent of filthiness4 ,but all ,bath1 from the days of the farewell to it of the ,romans1 down to a later period than this of which ,i am speaking1 was a mere cloaca2 and they who resorted thither were too often as dirty as the place4 ,its unsavouriness elicited some very stringent remarks from ,queen ,elizabeth1 and a contribution from the royal purse for constructing a common sewer4 ,it is the custom to look upon ,nash as the first of the dynasty of the ,bath ,masters of the ,ceremonies4 ,the true founder of that highly august dynasty however was the ,duke of ,beaufort himself4 ,for the invalids who resorted to the healing springs1 there were but two houses fitted for the reception of a 8respectable10 that is1 a moneyed class of visitors2 namely1 the ,abbey ,house and ,westgate ,house4 ,it was not till long after that there was either a ball-room1 or any place of public amusement in the city4 ,sometimes a convivial party of invalids1 or their friends1 got up a dance on the open bowling-green4 ,but such inconveniences attended this1 that the ,duke of ,beaufort gave up the town-hall for both the dancers and gamblers4 ,his ,grace placed the conduct of the amusements under the superintendence of ,captain ,webster2 and that gentleman having respectably inaugurated them1 the sceptre of ,master was made over to ,nash4 ,the passion for play was long the ruling passion here1 among the sick1 as well as among the sound4 ,the passion is well illustrated in the epigram1 written when subscription books were opened for providing for the expenses of ,church service1 and for opening a new card-room3-- 8,the books were open'd t'other day1 ,at all the shops1 for ,church and ,play4 ,the ,church got six2 ,hoyle sixty-seven3 ,how great the chance for ,hell 'gainst ,heaven60 ,nash's great enemy he found in the doctors4 ,they disliked him for helping to cure invalids too quickly1 by the general cheerfulness and gaiety which he essayed to establish in the city4 ,they moreover bore him little love for his abolition of the sword1 a general and not too deadly use of which was wont to procure for them endless patients1 and continual profit4 ,the profession pursued its vocation at ,bath at this period with little delicacy4 ,the carriages of invalids1 and the public stage-coach1 which reached the city on the third day after its departure from town1 were assailed at the outskirts by hosts of 8touters10 who were engaged by the physicians to publish their respective merits 7they now do that for themselves1 thus saving expense71 and to carry off as many patients as they could respectively secure4 ,for these the doctors paid the touters a percentage2 and as the touters were1 in most cases1 the husbands of the nurses1 all parties played into each other's hands4 8,and so1 as ,i grew ev'ry day worse and worse1 ,the doctor advised me to send for a nurse2 ,and the nurse was so willing my health to restore1 ,she begg'd me to send for a few doctors more40 ,as the vivacity which ,nash put into the place very much injured the latter gentlemen1 one1 more angry than the rest1 threatened to 8throw a toad into the spring10 by writing against the waters4 8,fling away60 cried ,nash2 8we'll charm him out again by an additional band of music60 ,and he dealt another blow at them1 by decreeing that1 in future1 the balls should commence at six1 and terminate at eleven1 instead of lasting1 as heretofore1 till daybreak4 ,his code of laws for these balls was the code of a terrible despot1 and ,i can hardly account for the ready obedience which was paid to it4 ,his force of impudence and blaze of dress1 with some superiority of mind1 perhaps awed the sensual and stupid peers1 peeresses1 squires1 and dames4 ,one of the articles of the code was to the effect1 that 8very young1 and also the #8elder ladies1' be content with the second benches at the balls1 the one not yet having arrived at1 the other being past1 perfection40 ,the rule was obeyed6 ,precisely at six the magnificent fellow gave the signal1 and the couple present highest in rank1 advanced submissively1 and walked a minuet4 ,after every couple had gone through the same solemnity1 the splendid 8,master0 gave the word for country-dances4 ,how the ladies and gentlemen went at it in those days1 may be seen from what took place when the dial showed eleven o'clock4 ,the jewelled finger of ,nash was then raised in the air1 the music ceased1 and1 8,now10 said he1 8let the ladies sit down to cool1 before they go to their chairs60 ,on one occasion the ,princess ,amelia begged for another dance after eleven had struck4 ,nash shook all the powder out of his hair in mute horror at the bare idea of such a solecism4 ,the ,duchess of ,queensberry was also once daring enough to infringe his rules by appearing in the rooms in a laced apron4 ,he tore it off1 and threw it among the servants2 and to the richest squire of the county1 who presumed to appear1 contrary to ,nash's own decree1 in boots1 he exclaimed1 8,holloa1 ,hog's ,norton1 haven't you forgot to bring your horse80 ,the squire talked of swords4 8,no1 no10 replied ,nash1 8,i have put an end to duels2 and thereby1 ,squire1 ,i have prevented people from doing what they have no mind to40 ,this sort of coarseness was refinement in ,elizabethan days4 ,i may cite in proof thereof1 that when the valiant ,welsh commander1 ,sir ,roger ,williams1 knelt to ,queen ,elizabeth1 in his rough untanned leather boots1 to present a petition she was determined not to grant1 she only remarked1 8,williams1 how your boots stink60 8,tut1 ,madam60 answered the ,welshman1 8it is my suit1 and not my boots1 that stink60 ,so did she affect to annoy ,cecil1 by wearing his portrait for a day tied to her shoe4 ,on another occasion she admitted to her presence a whole bevy of country-cousins named ,brown4 ,they were of the kindred of ,anne ,boleyn2 but when ,elizabeth saw them in their queer old-fashioned dresses1 she fairly frightened them by her coarse remarks1 from ever coming to court again4 ,perhaps hence is derived the popular saying1 in which allusion is made to 8astonishing the ,browns40 ,it is an ,elizabethan phrase6 ,in the recess1 ,nash used to cross the country to ,tunbridge4 ,his equipage was a flaming carriage1 drawn by six greys2 with outriders all embroidery1 and ,french horns all brass and bluster4 ,he wore a white hat1 of which he was the introducer2 and he did so1 he said1 that1 it being the only one of the sort1 his hat might never be stolen4 ,in his dress he combined the fashions of two centuries2 and1 thanks to his luck at play1 he lived as grandly as half-a-dozen kings4 ,but none knew better than he the folly of gambling4 ,he once lost a considerable sum to an ,oxford lad who had just come into a large fortune4 8,boy10 said he1 8take my advice4 ,you are a young ,crsus2 play no more40 ,nash himself would not play with him1 but the millionnaire collegian found men less scrupulous2 and the prodigal1 ere he had attained his twenty-fifth year1 could1 like the gentleman in ,shakspeare1 8,thank ,heaven that he was not worth a ducat40 ,nash was the same sort of ,mentor to the gambling ,duke of ,bedford2 and the ,duke entered with the ,beau into a gambling compact1 whereby he bound himself to put restraint upon his spirit of gambling4 ,nash gave him #ajj1 to receive #ajjj whenever the ,duke lost the latter sum at one sitting4 ,nash came upon his ,grace a month after1 just as he had lost #hjjj1 and was about to throw for #cjjj more4 ,nash reminded him of the compact4 ,the ,duke paid the forfeit1 threw his main1 and lost4 ,perhaps the ,beau expected some such profitable result of his little investment4 ,he may not however have deserved this remark2 for ,nash could be most romantically generous4 ,thus1 ,lord ,townsend lost to him a sum which he could not conveniently pay2 the ,beau forgave the debt1 some #bj1jjj1 on condition that the ,peer should give him #ejjj whenever asked to do so4 ,nash never troubled ,lord ,townsend further2 but1 after the ,lord's decease1 when the ,beau had fallen into adversity1 he applied to the ,peer's representatives1 exhibited his vouchers1 and was paid his claim4 ,this is honourable to both parties4 ,the ,peers and the ,parliament generally were a singularly inconsistent set of people at this time4 ,they passed a law which suppressed gambling everywhere1 except in the royal palace1 under a penalty of #ej2 and they no sooner passed this law than they hurried to many places1 and to ,bath especially1 to break it4 ,nash said he was ,king of ,bath1 and that playing in his palace was not infringing the ordinances2 but the ,parliament was too much even for him in the long run1 and1 by the ultimate suppression of all 8tables10 in whatsoever locality1 they deprived the ,beau of much of his power to put gold lace on his coat1 and guineas in his pocket4 ,still he was the despot of the rooms2 and again ,i say1 that the secret of his power almost defies conjecture4 ,he was indeed a splendid decker of his person2 but that person was clumsy1 large1 and awkward4 ,his features were harsh4 ,it is to be remembered however1 that he not only had fine clothes1 but a stupendous gift of 8flattering20 and he had1 besides1 more wit than most of the ladies he cajoled4 8,richard10 said a modest young creature to him one day 7and it is painful to think that she might have been our grandmother2--that is1 yours1 reader1 or mine73 8,richard1 you have a tongue that would debauch a nunnery60 ,he assumed an airy sort of 8indifference0 in his method of gallantry1 and the ladies found this deliciously provoking4 ,it set the fashion2 and it became the characteristic of the ,georgian beaux4 ,it was a contrast1 much welcomed1 after the smartness and pertness of the beaux of the reign of ,queen ,anne2 and it was preferable to the slimy solemnity of the beaux of the age of ,king ,charles4 ,and ,dick1 be it said for him1 always kept hold of a rag of dignity1 whereby to help himself2 and when he found that he could not be a seducer1 he became a champion4 ,he loved to rescue damsels from the suit of adventurers1 and he did save many4 ,he chastised scandal2 would not tolerate it even in the elder ladies who sat on his sacred benches4 ,the ,king of ,bath made a royal monopoly of the article1 as the ,king of ,france did of tobacco4 ,he had capital opportunity of indulging in his favourite dish1 when he used to consult with the old ,duchess of ,marlborough upon the fashion of her liveries4 ,like ,florian1 who used to hunt out distressed subjects for his patron1 the ,duc de ,penthivre1 to relieve1 he took a praiseworthy delight in discovering worth in adversity1 and then compelling the wealthy to do something to lighten that adversity4 ,it is perfectly true that1 having gained #bjj at picquet1 and hearing a bystander remark1 8,how happy that sum would make me60 ,nash threw him the money1 saying1 8,there1 then1 go and be happy60 ,among the poor patients at the springs1 the ,beau once discovered a poor curate1 named ,cullender4 ,he had a wife1 of course six children1 and naturally only thirty pounds a year4 ,nash donned his best suit1 polished up the persuasive end of his irresistible tongue1 went to a 8patron0 who had a living to give1 and did not leave him till he had given it to ,dr4 ,cullender4 ,it was worth #afj per annum4 8,there1 ,doctor10 said ,nash1 8,i've brought you half ,potosi40 8,by ,g--d60 said the divine1 8so you have60 ,such was patronage1 pity1 and piety1 in the days of ,beau ,nash4 ,it is not to be supposed that so general a wooer escaped altogether heart-free4 ,he had a heart2 as good a one 7as was said in ,fontenelle's case7 as could be made out of brains2 and he once proposed marriage to the lady of his transitory affections4 ,the lady pleaded her devotion to another lover1 and even asked for ,nash's mediation with her father to consent to the marriage4 ,the honest fellow consented1 and went through infinite trouble before he succeeded4 ,he himself joined the hands of the affianced pair1 and gave them his blessing4 ,six months afterwards1 the lady eloped with her footman6 ,nash ought not to have been disgusted with human nature1 for ladies occasionally were given1 in his time1 to the observance of this little fashion2 but it did disgust ,nash4 ,he turned misogynist1 and gave himself more to philanthropy in its restricted sense4 ,he hated women1 he said1 but still had charity for men2 and accordingly he was foremost in founding the ,bath ,hospital1 and alone in raising obelisks to rheumatic princes1--obelisks for which ,pope furnished very inferior superscriptions4 ,chesterfield exhibited a 8statuary wit0 which ,pope despised1 when the statue of ,nash was placed1 a full length1 between the busts of ,newton and ,pope himself4 ,the epigram is well known1 but it is worth repeating3-- 8,this statue placed the busts between1 ,adds to the satire strength2 ,wisdom and ,wit are little seen1 ,but ,folly at full length40 ,this is neat1 and also original4 ,the idea was applied by the ,paris wits in an epigram on the group in ,paris which represented the equestrian figure of ,louis ,,xv4 on a pedestal1 the angles of the upper slab of which were supported by bronze caryatides1 representing ,faith1 ,temperance1 ,prudence1 and ,justice4 ,the cardinal virtues thus placed gave good point to the epigram1 which said3-- 8,oh1 la belle statue6 le beau pidestal6 ,les ,vertus sont pied1 le ,vice est cheval60 ,as long as ,nash exhibited splendour in his outward man1 the public homage never failed him4 ,literary musicians1 literary cooks1 and biographical highwaymen dedicated their works to him4 ,was he sick8 the entire army of poetasters invoked the ,muse to give him ease4 ,for all of which they looked for their respective guineas4 ,he had too another set of worshipers1 who used to congregate about him at his favourite tavern1 to listen to his favourite stories1--few and not well told1--to which they had listened till they could themselves have narrated them backwards4 ,he recounted them ever propos des bottes1 and he was the hero of every one of them4 ,therein he shows as outdoing ,fortunatus and all his servants4 ,he was the swiftest runner1 the most expert swimmer1 the best swordsman1 and--8,upon my soul1 it's true6 ,d--n me6 hem6 egad60 ,he really had more wit than his stories would authorize us to suppose4 ,witness his suggestion at a county-town ball4 ,the county ladies refused to dance in the same set with the town ladies4 ,the rich tradesmen were indignant at the slight put upon their spouses1 but the suggestive wit of ,nash saved them4 ,they made it known that if the county ladies and squires would not dance with the town wives and traders1 the latter would refuse all further credit1 and would call in their debts4 ,the proud party immediately yielded1 and a grand country-dance of reconciliation followed to the tune of #8,money ,musk4' ,still1 despite his wit and his dazzling dress1 ,nash was naturally coarse4 ,fancy a modern master of the ceremonies saying aloud to a lady somewhat misshapen1 and who1 in reply to a question from him1 had stated that she had come to ,bath straight from ,london1--fancy such a dignitary exclaiming1 8,you may have come #8straight' from ,london1 ,madam1 but you have got d--nably warped by the way60 ,the squires were bigger brutes than he1 and so did not kick him2 nay1 they only laughed when this glittering potentate used to ask the ladies who declined to dance1 8,if by chance they had bandy legs1 and were afraid of showing them80 ,the truth is1 he feared nobody4 ,he had refused knighthood at the hands of ,king ,william2 and he did the same at the hands of ,queen ,anne4 8,i will have none of it1 most gracious ,madam10 said ,nash1 as if he were refusing to grant a favour2 8but there is ,sir ,william ,read1 the mountebank1 whom your ,majesty has knighted1--,i shall be very happy to call him #8brother4'0 ,the ,queen smiled1 and passed on4 ,this species of rudeness1 which came over him in his later days1 helped to empty the rooms4 ,he no longer could boast of seventeen duchesses and countesses standing up in his first country-dance4 ,he sometimes too got vexatiously repulsed1 as in the case of a young lady whom he met in the ,grove1 leading a spaniel1 and whom he asked if she knew the name of ,tobit's dog4 8,i know it well enough10 said the lady2 8his name is ,nash1 and a very impudent dog he is40 ,and at length came the 8end of an auld sang20 old-age1 and with it infirmity and distress4 ,he could still talk of not following prescriptions1 because he had thrown them out of window2 but the clergy at length took possession of the ,beau1 and so belaboured him with pamphlets1 visits1 exhortations to repentance1 and menaces of the devil1 that ,nash1 who1 like ,gallio1 had cared for none of these things1 became fairly bewildered1 and feared death more than ever he had done4 ,he was an awful coward in presence of that especial antagonist of beaux2 but his cowardice of course was not respected1 and he died in abject terror of dying4 ,the year was that of #agfa1 and his age was then hard upon the patriarchal one of ninety years4 ,he had few of the patriarchal virtues2 but ,bath1 to whose corporation he bequeathed a 8fifty pounds10 which ,i very much wish they may have got1 honoured him with a public funeral1 with more circumstantial pomp about it than if he had been an incarnation of all virtue1 patriarchal1 princely1 and of every other degree4 ,the multitude gazed weepingly1 as though another dead ,tasso were passing by to cold obstruction1 and had left them a legacy of intellectual worth4 ,the poor wretch had little to leave1 save some gaillard books1 and some women's toys and trinkets1--the relics of his beauhood1 and the testimonies of his past power4 ,as for the poets1 they spoke of the defunct dandy as the 8constellation of a heavenly sphere20 and he had epitaphs enough to make the very earth lie heavy upon the breast of ,beau ,nash4 ,and now1 good reader1 having sojourned with two exclusively ,english beaux1 like ,fielding and ,nash1 we will1 if you please1 to ,vienna1 and tarry awhile with a sparkling beau of ,european reputation4 8,place pour le ,prince de ,ligne60 ,,the ,,prince ,,de ,,ligne4 8,this chub-faced fop ,shines sleek with full cramm'd fat of happiness40 ,,john ,,marston3 ,antonio's ,revenge4 ,the ,prince de ,ligne has1 at least1 the merit of being not only a 8beau10 but a 8brave40 ,the two professions are seldom united1 but they were certainly to be found in this gallant coxcomb4 ,the ,prince1 although ever faithful to the fortunes of the ,house of ,hapsburg1 was not himself of ,austrian lineage4 ,his patrimonial house1 the ,castle of ,belveil1 still stands in quaint supremacy over the modest village of ,ligne1 about six miles from ,alt1 in ,belgium4 ,it has endured seven centuries of change2 and its gothic peculiarities1 with its old-world garden1 and its ancient hornbeam hedges1 yet answer to the prolix description thereof given in the ,prince's published letters1 as well as to the concise1 if little majestic1 line of ,delille1 who says of it in his #8,jardins1' 8,belveil1 tout la fois magnifique et champtre40 ,here1 in #agcd1 the ,prince first saw the light2 and the soldiers of his father's regiment #8de ,ligne1' loved to carry the infant son of their prince-colonel in their arms4 ,the lengthened life of this once celebrated dandy1 author1 diplomatist1 and soldier1 made him the contemporary of men of many generations4 ,the man who once fraternally embraced our own ,wellington1 ,prince of ,waterloo1 had sat on the knee of the famous ,prince ,eugene1 and had looked upon the matured greatness of ,marlborough4 ,thus he was contemporary with men who had been born under the son of ,james ,i41 and with others now living under ,queen ,victoria1 whom ,god preserve6 ,after1 as a boy1 carrying the colours of his father's regiment with honour1 he entered the dragoons of ,ligne1 and won distinction at the point of his sword4 ,he was practically a noble soldier1 and he slaughtered as courteously as ,bayard4 ,his day was not the day of carpet-knights1 for ,europe was then given to settle all her quarrels in the field2 and when cabinets cooled1 warriors looked to their corslets4 ,theoretically1 the ,prince does not shine4 ,nobody reads his #8,commentaries on the ,art of ,war2' and ,i have no doubt that the martial portion of his departed spirit is sorely vexed1 at seeing his own highly-prized instructions for infantry manuvres less cared for by posterity than the old ,greek's dissertation upon the forming of the phalanx4 ,for more than half a century he lived in camps1 and was daily familiar with every dread circumstance of war4 ,he bore himself bravely at the bloody siege of fatal ,ismael1 and was among the most active at that taking of ,belgrade1 which ,storace put so pleasantly to music for the delight of our fathers4 ,in the fields of death1 whereon1 with varied fortune1 the ,great ,frederick and the crafty ,maria ,theresa fought out their envenomed quarrels1 there he was ever present1 the finest1 the foremost1 and the fiercest in the fray4 ,and most of all1 on that famous day at ,maxen1 when the ,austrian ,daun caught ,frederick's general1 ,finck1 in the defiles1 and took bloody advantage of the opportunity1--on that day of untold horrors1 courage and murder reigned supreme4 ,ere night came on1 the ,black ,eagle of ,brandenburg had yielded to his double-necked cousin from the ,danube4 ,every ,prussian who survived the fight1 surrendered4 ,the matriel for a hundred such fields passed into the hands of the ,austrians1 and the museums of ,vienna still hold the countless trophies of that day4 ,it was a day on which compensation was taken for the adverse fields of ,stringau1 ,reichemberg1 and ,johr2 for the defeats at ,pirna1 ,rosbach1 and ,lissa4 ,the women of ,berlin were rendered widows and childless1 while the flaunting dames of ,vienna shouted 8,hoch60 and declared that their victorious lovers at ,maxen had surpassed all the glories connected with old triumphs at ,kolin1 ,gabel1 and ,zittau2 at ,liegnitz1 ,schweidnitz1 and ,hochkirchen4 ,maria ,theresa dubbed the young ,prince knight of that order of chivalry which bore her name1--an ,order into which no aspirant could find admittance unless he had achieved some conquest which he had no positive order to undertake4 ,she further honoured him by despatching him to ,france with the news of the great victory2 and there he became the intimate friend of ,jean ,jacques ,rousseau1 the cavalier of the basely brilliant ,du ,barry1 and the cynosure of all the hooped ladies and red-heeled gallants who killed ,time on the verdant lawns of the ,trianon or in the gilded saloons of ,versailles4 ,he became at once the ,king of ,fashion1 as he was the favourite of a dozen kings4 ,two ,louises named him 8friend20 and he sat1 a gallant servitor1 at the feet of ,marie ,antoinette4 ,the great ,frederick showed his affection for him by bestowing on him that very bad pen with which the ,king wrote very bad poetry1 and the ,prince still worse4 ,the great ,catherine he served in many acceptable offices4 ,she loved the man and his humour4 ,once1 when accompanying the imperial mother of ,all the ,russias in a progress through her southern dominions1 they skirted1 in a yacht1 the coast of ,old ,tauris4 ,on passing the promontory of ,iphigenia1 the ,empress made present of it to the ,prince1 who thereon1 accoutred as he was1 leaped overboard1 and1 with sword drawn1 swam ashore1 to take formal possession of the territorial gift4 ,he was indeed a sort of cousin to the living heads of kingly houses2 and1 at one time1 was looked upon as the probable occupant of the uneasy throne of ,poland4 ,like many a kingly contemporary1 he might for a long time have thanked ,heaven that he was without a crown4 ,but he was equal to the difficulties consequent upon a light purse4 ,on one occasion he wished to proceed from ,paris to ,brussels2 but1 prince as he was1 he lacked the means4 ,hearing that the ,duke d',aremberg was about to travel that way1 he presented himself at the post-house as his courier1 rode the journey through in that character1 and so got to his destination--gratis4 ,such1 in his early days1 was the gay gentleman who1 at the last ,congress of ,vienna1 bore still gaily the weight of eighty summers4 ,his lean horses used to gallop through that city with his ancient carriage behind them1 on which was inscribed the punning device--8,quo res cumque cadunt1 stat linea recta40 ,this vehicle was almost as large as his house4 ,the latter was of the smallest dimensions2 and in that small dwelling1 he gave small dinners to small parties4 ,the dishes served were in strict keeping with the size of the table1 and he generally ate four-fifths of what they contained4 ,this superbly-dressed ,amphitryon actually expected that his guests would let their hunger be appeased on the supply he liberally poured forth of brilliant but unsubstantial wit4 ,according to ,johnson1 who says that quotation is the watchword of literary men1 he was a literary man1 for he had ever ready a magazine of citations adapted to all purposes4 ,the variety was some warrant of wide reading2 and the ,prince was1 at all events1 not like ,pozzo di ,borgo1 who made the same triad of quotations endure a three-months' duty4 ,at the side of the ,prince's little bed1 in the very least of libraries1 his little commonplace book1 on an almost invisible desk1 received the brief record of ideas that visited his gossamer brain4 ,all around this room were strewn1 in most admired disorder1 a mountain of manuscripts1 and a wilderness of works on love1 philosophy1 poetry1 and war4 ,amidst this mass1 the old ,prince would leap about with the agility of a monkey4 ,fatigue he never acknowledged1 and sleep he little cared for4 ,he would sit up whole nights1 half a week through1 to read dry works on strategy2 and then fall asleep over erotic songs1 of which he commenced many1 and finished few4 ,those that he did terminate have as little of the echo of nature as ,watteau's shepherdesses have of its aspect4 ,one of the most innocent of his pursuits was to attend at the ,opera1 and applaud ,frederic ,venua's pretty music to the pretty ballet of #8,flore et ,zphyre4' ,the once young leader of fashion would not lay down his sceptre when he grew old2 and as an octogenarian he played1 in the eyes of ,vienna1 an airier 8ci-devant jeune homme0 than was ever conceived or executed by the inimitable ,potier4 ,he could be a boy with the boys2 and the old gentleman played heartily at soldiers with the little ,king of ,rome1 before that shadow of a monarch grew up to welcome those other favourites1 one of whom especially was as fatal to him as the ,fornarina to the gifted ,raphael4 ,but the ,prince loved to be with young men1 and to be thought of by them2 and did not love to be reminded either of old-age or of death4 ,his little summer residence at the ,kalemberg was the locality whence ,sobieski departed to save ,austria from the infidel1 and to earn for it1 what ,austria has ever paid to her benefactors1 eternal ingratitude4 ,the spirit of the heroic no longer resided there at the period of which ,i am treating4 ,the walls of the house were covered with the portraits of ladies whose hearts1 or what they called such1 had yielded to the assaults of ,de ,ligne2 and above the portal was inscribed this motto of mingled impiety1 mendacity1 and impudence3-- 8,sans remords1 sans regret1 sans crainte1 sans envie40 ,the slippered soldier who1 in his decrepitude1 flung out his banner with this device upon it1 belied at least a portion thereof4 ,he caught cold1 by keeping an assignation near the bastion1 on one of the coldest nights of the ,congress-winter1 and while waiting vainly for the innamorata who had fooled him4 ,the consequent symptoms soon assumed a fatal aspect2 and straightway 8this god did shake10 and made his motto pointless1 save against himself4 ,his remorse might have been small1 and doubtless no one envied a dying dandy2 but the latter was himself no longer without fear or regret4 ,he feared the slow approach of death2 and his regret was not that life had been misspent1 but that it had come to its limit4 ,he aggravated his malady by defying it1 and appearing at a ball4 ,it was the last occasion on which he was seen in public1 and it killed him4 ,he took to his couch1 and1 in ignoble prostration1 he bewailed that he could not die like ,petronius ,arbiter1 that accomplished rou1 base as man and great as consul1 who played with death2 now pricked a vein1 and now bandaged it2 now whipped a slave1 and now freed one2 now listened to gay music1 now trilled a gay song2 anon1 cursed the whole world1 and forthwith fell dead1 like a dog in his uncleanness4 8,after all10 said the ,prince1 8,i shall be better off than ,petronius2 and friends and dear ones will receive my last sigh4 ,not10 said poor fearful nature1 speaking through the ,prince1--8not that ,i am going to die just yet4 ,there is no cause for fear4 ,let us banish sadness4 ,i am living1 and ,i will live60 ,and then the moribund beau made puns1 as if death could be delayed by playing upon words4 ,or he called up old souvenirs1 and gossiped about the famous 8fine eyes0 of the ,countess de ,witt4 8,you should have seen her10 said the dying ,prince2 8her eyes were so bepraised that she at length never spoke of them but as her #8fine eyes4'0 ,once the admirable ,marie ,antoinette expressed regret at her looking unwell1 and asked from what she suffered4 8,may it please your ,majesty10 answered the simple ,countess1 8,i am suffering from cold in my fine eyes60--and then the dying prater laughed1 and they who stood around him smiled in melancholy accord4 ,at length1 the arrow of the ,inevitable ,angel was poised1 but the sinking ,prince still formed projects for the future4 ,he would see the ,czar ,alexander upon affairs of state2 and many a gay day1 he averred1 should yet make glad the gardens of ,belveil4 ,his medical attendant1 ,malfati1 came in for a share of observation2 and the whole profession of which ,malfati was a member was made subject for satire4 8,when he was with the great ,catherine10 he remarked1 8he could do more for himself than the doctors were then doing for him40 ,malfati inquired1 8,in what way80 8,whenever ,i was well10 said the son of fashion1 8,i used to invite ,sgur and ,cobentzel to my quarters4 ,i gave medicine to one1 and bled the other2 and thereupon ,i got well60 ,and as the sinking octogenarian laughed1 ,death steadied his javelin for the throw4 ,malfati delicately hinted that age opposed greater difficulties now than before2 and in gentle spirit1 he essayed to prepare the ,prince for the coming and irresistible change4 ,but no6 the ,prince had work yet to do1 and must live to do it4 8,i have no intention yet10 he said1 8nor shall have for a long time to come1 to make use of the epitaph written for me by my old friend1 the ,marquis de ,bonney3-- 8#8,ci gt le ,prince de ,ligne1 ,il est tout de son long couch4 ,jadis il a beaucoup pch1-- ,mais ce n'etait pas la ligne6'0 ,we may excuse ,malfati for smiling at the refined wit of the once famous jeu d'esprit2 but it did not restrain him from making the ,prince aware of the danger of his position4 ,the latter received the intelligence with disgust1 ill-concealed under a few light words2 and with the assurance that1 like ,adrian1 he had verses to write to his soul1 but that he had not time just then6 ,it was true2 for ,death1 at that moment1 laid upon him that hand which mortal may not resist4 ,the ,prince not only felt1 but he beheld1 the terrible and unconquerable aggressor4 ,the hour was dull midnight when the old warrior and 8macaroni0 frantically fought his last battle1 and succumbed ingloriously4 ,he sprang from a recumbent into a sitting position1 shrieked aloud1 ordered the door to be closed2 and as ,death pressed upon him1 he struggled and wrestled with the calm1 strong phantom1 as though a substantial foe was before him1 who might be strangled by bodily effort4 ,but it was fruitless1 for the decree had gone forth1 and doom had come4 ,in the midst of cries for help1 and writhing efforts to get free1 the stroke was given1 and the ,prince fell dead4 ,the day was the #acth of ,december1 #ahad4 ,what was mortal of him was magnificently entombed1 and the terms of his epitaph were more poetical than veracious4 ,but1 beneath it all1--brass1 marble1 and mendacity1--the dandy of two centuries was left to sleep as undisturbedly as the curses of unpaid tailors would allow him to do4 ,on the day of the ,prince's decease1 a very fine gentleman indeed was sunning himself on the ,steyne at ,brighton4 ,he was the cynosure of all observers1 and his magnificent shadow glides this way4 ,do not mistake him for ,romeo ,coates4 ,it is the famous ,mr4 ,brummell4 ,chapeau bas at that illustrious name6 ,,beau ,,brummell4 8,i scorn'd to crowd among the muddy throng ,of the rank multitude1 whose thicken'd breath 7,like to condensed fogs7 do choke that beauty ,which else would dwell in every kingdom's cheek4 ,no3 ,i still boldly stepp'd into kings' courts1 ,for there to live is rare40 ,,decker',s ,fortunatus4 ,the distinction of ,nash was his impertinence2 the characteristic of ,orlando the ,fair1 his affectation4 ,to make a third1 ,jove joined the other two2 and ,george ,bryan ,brummell was1 as the elder ,mr4 ,weller says1 8the consikence of the manuvre40 ,had he only possessed intellect rightly directed1 and even an infinitesimal degree of principle1 he might have achieved a better reputation4 ,the ,greek sage who declared that man needed but three things whereby to prosper1--first1 impudence2 second1 impudence2 third1 impudence1--rather overrated his 4 ,it is true that a modest man runs great risk of being overwhelmed in this mortal 8passage of the ,beresina10 but he usually has principle to float him2 whereas the knave who swims or struggles near him1 be he never so impudent1 ultimately exhibits an alacrity in sinking4 ,it is in the immortal fitness of things that it should be so ordained4 ,i think ,brummell must have been a descendant of the little tailor who is said by another tailor1 ,stow1 to have whined himself to death for the love of ,queen ,elizabeth4 ,i mean him of whom ,lord ,charles ,cavendish wrote3-- 8,i would not willingly ,be pointed at in every company1 ,as was the little tailor that to death ,was hot in love with ,queen ,elizabeth40 ,brummell1 like that audacious schneider1 had a soul that was at once given to the 8confectioning of costume10 and consorting with the great4 ,brummell1 like many a steward's son1 was partly the victim of his father's ambition4 ,his sire was smitten with more desire to see him a gentleman than an honest man4 ,the lad was brought up with as much reference to his future condition of gentility1 as ,miss ,killmansegge was with respect to her present and future prospects of ,pactolian hue4 ,brummell was not a baby to suck a coral of less aristocratic value than that old mouthpiece of the unfortunate ,monmouth which for years has given solace to the gums of the babies of ,buccleuch4 ,he was a lad who had an aversion for steel forks long before silver implements were familiar furniture at the tables of the middle classes1 of which his father was a member2 and scarcely was he a youth ex ephebis1 and felt himself free from home restraints in gentle ,henry's shades at ,eton1 when he not only modernized the white cravat or stock which marks the ,eton boy1 but he put a gold buckle to it2 and all the school 8confessed the present god40 ,the condiscipuli of that time and place have as much realized ,hood's as ,gray's #8,ode on a ,distant ,prospect of ,eton ,college4' ,the most rollicking tumbled into discretion1 and became bishops2 the most gentle were drafted into the army1 and became blackguards4 ,some took to the stage1 and some took portraits4 ,a few achieved greatness2 the majority have died away and are forgotten4 8,blithe ,carew was hung10 and ,brummell 8went up like a rocket and came down like the stick40 ,brummell was like ,goldsmith4 ,do not smile3 ,i do not mean that he had the great writer's simplicity1 industry1 or goodness of heart4 ,he was1 nevertheless1 like him in one respect4 ,poor ,oliver1 at ,trinity ,college1 ,dublin1 went in for honours1 and failed4 ,so ,brummell1 who1 in #agic1 was an undergraduate at ,oxford1 was a competitor for the ,newdegate ,prize1 and lost it4 ,from that hour he abhorred books and bookish men4 ,he had condescended to exert himself so far as to faintly run for the laurel4 ,when he saw it awarded to a better man1 he declared that he would never run again1 but walk over the course of the world and win his prizes without effort4 ,he had already indicated the paths by which he meant to gain the honours dimly alluded to4 ,his example at college had already abolished cotton stockings1 and made dingy cravats vulgar4 ,even ,d4,d4's looked at the audacious innovator1 and ceased to be1 what the initials designated1 8deucedly dirty40 ,the unsuccessful student was soon in possession of what he considered far better than 8book learning10 a third of #fe1jjj4 ,it was no great inheritance for a cornet in the #ajth ,hussars4 ,that illustrious regiment had not yet achieved that renown of folly and of shame for which ,croly pilloried it nightly1 to the delight of assembled thousands1 in his #8,pride shall have a ,fall4' ,it was however the aspiration and the terror of all young heroes who longed to be enrolled in the sacred cohort1 and who dreaded the fabulous cost of the luxury4 ,the officers1 like their ancestors at the ,field of the ,cloth of ,gold1 wore their estates upon their backs1--some of them before they had inherited the paternal acres4 ,if the gorgeous costume and its never-ending variations did not effect this consummation1 the expenses of the mess1 where the mild warriors banqueted like barbaric sovereigns1 and the cost of the delicate amusements of those perfumed knights1 rarely failed to accomplish it4 ,at the head of all1 glittering example of the 8gentleman10 careful of carriage1 courteous of speech1 not ungenerous by impulse1 but icy-cold of heart1 was the ,prince-,colonel1 ,george1 afterwards ,fourth of the name4 ,the ,prince's chief intimate was ,lord ,james ,murray1 subsequently ,lord ,glenlyon2 at whose house at ,datchet1 old ,queen ,charlotte 8did never counsel take1 but sometimes tea40 ,the new cornet superseded the old friend4 ,the latter was a mild1 gentleman-like man1 popular with everybody but his creditors1 quorum pars fui2 and ,i may add1 that he is pleasantly and gratefully remembered by one at least of them4 ,brummell however took the ,regent by storm4 ,there was no resisting him4 ,the ,prince was fascinated4 ,brummell might be absent from parade1 neglect duties even more important1 and laugh at all suggestion and reproach1--8our general's friend was now the general40 ,he did precisely what he pleased1 nothing that he ought2 and in three years he was full captain1 to the as full disgust of older officers1 who enviously admired while they deeply cursed him4 ,never probably was the ,beau in such full-blown glory as at this period of his gold-lace1 best jokes1 and increasing sway4 ,he was in the very height of his ecstatic enjoyment1 luxuriating in the gentility of a 8gentil ,hussard10 and mastering his profession1 not exactly after the fashion of ,marlborough2--he was in the very paradisiacal state of aristocratic soldiership1 when the regiment was ordered to ,manchester4 ,brummell nearly fainted at the idea of such vulgarity1 and he left the regiment in infinite disgust4 ,the step gained for him an immense increase of reputation--among fools6 ,the world had not been to him hitherto as to our old friend1 ,pistol1--an oyster1 which he with sword could open4 ,he may be said to have failed1 both by book and blade4 ,he was now to really soar by other means4 ,now came the period when he evinced his disgust of vegetables by confessing that he had once eaten--a pea4 ,then was the funny time when his slavish hearers laughed at the joke wherein he wrapped an excuse for being hoarse1 on the ground1 that he had slept in a house with a damp stranger4 ,it was not half so excellent a joke as that enunciated1 unwittingly1 by the poor old ,irishwoman suffering from catarrh1 and who accounted for the same by stating that she 8slept last night in a field and forgot to shut the gate40 ,however1 it was good enough for a man who really fancied that he manifested humour when he expressed unconsciousness of there being such a place as ,bloomsbury-square2 and we may add1 that it was good enough for his hearers also4 ,it was at this period that he patronized the late ,george ,lane ,fox1 of ,bramham ,park1 ,yorkshire2 and the patronage cost the latter a superb gold box1 set with diamonds1--a present1 if ,i remember rightly1--for ,i have heard ,mr4 ,fox tell the story as often as ,diggory heard ,mr4 ,hardcastle tell his one story1 from the ,czar ,alexander4 ,mr4 ,fox and ,brummell had been seriously engaged1 for some hours1 on matters of dress1 after which they discussed the not less serious question of dinner4 ,at the banquet1 the first-named gentleman showed his golden and glittering gift to the select company1 who were loud in their praise1 and unbounded in their admiration4 ,as the party were to adjourn to the ,opera1 to hear ,ambrogetti and ,camporese1 ,mr4 ,fox announced his intention of depositing his box1 by the way1 at his house in ,albemarle-street4 8,the whole court10 said he1 8will be at the ,opera1 and ,i may get robbed of my souvenir60 ,the company laughed at the saillie1 and the wine span round4 ,after a sederunt of some continuance1 the select society departed for 8the old house in the ,haymarket40 ,mr4 ,fox and ,brummell rode together4 ,the carriage stopped in ,albemarle-street1 according to directions given to the coachman2 but what with the wine1 and a new dispute touching the depth of cravats and the height of collars1 the gentlemen had forgotten why they had ordered the driver to pull up2 and after striving for some time1 in vain1 to remember1 they grew tired of conjecturing1 and sped away to hear 8,fin ch' han del ,vino60 ,they had been perhaps an hour in the house1 when ,brummell1 in the very middle of 8,il mio tesoro10 came to the end of a dissertation on pantaloons4 ,the gentlemen with thin legs1 and no calves to them1 were great patrons of what had not hitherto been admitted into the category of 8dress10--namely1 trousers4 ,conservatives and ,irish gentlemen advocated pantaloons4 ,brummell had given his judgement with the sententious elaboration of ,dr4 ,chalmers on a question of ,erastianism2 and to refresh himself after the fatigue of the process1 he begged of ,fox to furnish him with a 8prise de tabac60 ,the request for a pinch of snuff reminded the then heir of ,bramham ,park of the fact1 that it was his much-prized box which he had designed to leave in ,albemarle-street4 ,he proceeded however to perform the required act of hospitality2 but on putting his hand to his pocket he found the latter empty1 and the box gone4 ,in two minutes he was in the passage below1 recounting his loss to ,leadbitter and ,townsend1 and asking from them what hope existed of his recovering the abstracted property4 ,when they learned that an hour had elapsed since it had been stolen1 ,leadbitter gave the opinion of himself and brother that the loss was irreparable4 8,by this time10 said ,townsend1 8it's in the melting-pot of ,slack ,sam1 the ,jew ,gonoff40 8,what's a ,gonoff80 asked ,mr4 ,fox4 8,oh60 said ,townsend1 with an air of learning and superiority1 8,gonoff is ,hebrew for a #8thief4' ,did you pass any suspicious character on going upstairs80 8,i passed nobody but ,lady ,cork10 said ,mr4 ,fox4 8,and ,lady ,cork1 ,george10 said that vivacious lady1 who was coming out1 8does not pick gentlemen's pockets of snuff-boxes40 8,no10 replied the young ,yorkshire squire1 8,lady ,cork is only a voleuse de curs4 ,in the meantime1 ,i have the satisfaction of knowing that my gold box is gone to a ,gonoff40 8,and that ,gonoff10 said ,townsend1 with his familiar laugh1 8is ,hebrew for #8thief4'0 99 99 99 99 99 ,captain ,jesse has limned ,brummell at elaborate full length1 and the gallant artist has done his spiriting very impartially1 considering the ,cruikshank sort of portraiture with which the beau once affected to represent the captain4 8,my dear ,jesse10 said the dandy once to him1--8,my dear ,jesse1 excuse me1 but you look very much like a magpie60 ,this impertinence was not met in a vindictive spirit4 ,the biographer of ,brummell describes him as a beau1 but not a beau of the ,sir ,fopling ,flutter or ,fieldingschool1 ,that is1 he was not so nastily nice as the first1 nor so irretrievably nasty as the second4 ,the captain thinks that his beau would not have been guilty1 like ,charles ,james ,fox1 of wearing red-heeled shoes4 ,i am not so sure of this4 ,fox was1 like all democrats1 proud of spirit1 and he wore red heels1 because these were the distinctive marks of nobility in the galleries of ,versailles4 ,brummell was more original1 and he would not have adopted the talons rouges1 simply because they were the productions of the inventive genius of another4 ,he had at first a taste that was not unimpeachable4 ,there was too much variety about him4 ,he dealt in contrasts1 and he was given to jewellery4 ,his example in the latter way was seized1 not by the young aristocracy of ,england1 so unlike their ,elizabethan ancestors1 who not only covered themselves with gold and jewellery1 but took gold-dust1 liquid pearls1 and coral draughts for their medicine2 ,brummel's example was not adopted by these1 but it was by their men-cooks4 ,these latter blazed in the pit of the ,opera like the caballeros at a ,chilian theatre when the chief magistrate retires to the back of his box2 and flint1 steel1 allumettes1 and cigars are all in a glow1 or helping to produce it4 ,i have heard abundant wonder expressed at the amount of jewellery and precious stones which were then worn by culinary artists who loved music and patronized the ,opera4 ,it was1 however1 all borrowed finery4 ,the pins and brooches1 the chains1 the breloques1 the virgin gold and the diamonds pure1 were the property of ,ude1 who realized a good share of the thirty thousand pounds he bequeathed to his disconsolate widow1 by letting the finery out nightly1 at sums varying from two to five shillings6 ,brummell1 with his usually acute perception1--that is1 acute in one direction1--saw that fame was to be achieved by simplicity2 and1 as ,captain ,jesse remarks1 8scorning to share his fame with his tailor1 he soon shunned all external peculiarity1 and trusted alone to that ease and grace of manner which he possessed in a remarkable degree4 ,his chief aim10 adds the biographer1 8was to avoid anything marked3 one of his aphorisms being1 that the severest mortification a gentleman could incur1 was to attract observation in the street by his outward appearance4 ,he exercised the most correct taste in the selection of each article of apparel of a form and colour harmonious with all the rest1 for the purpose of producing a perfectly elegant general effect2 and no doubt he spent much time and pains in the attainment of his object40 ,this is no doubt true4 ,brummell put in practice1 he hardly knew why1 the principles of harmony and contrast of colours1 long before ,monsieur ,chevreul wrote his theory and explanation of those principles4 ,he had quite as correct an eye with regard to harmony of shape as to that of colour4 ,the highest in the land were not ashamed to seek a sort of professional opinion from this man as to the propriety of their costume4 ,the ,duke of ,bedford once did this touching a coat4 ,brummell examined his ,grace with the cool impertinence which was his ,grace's due4 ,he turned him about1 scanned him with scrutinizing1 contemptuous eye1 and then taking the lappel between his dainty finger and thumb1 he exclaimed in a tone of pitying wonder1 8,bedford6 do you call this thing a coat80 ,but he did not spare his own relations4 ,he was one day standing in the bow-window at ,white's1 amid a knot of well-dressed admirers1 when one of them remarked1 8,brummell1 your brother ,william is in town4 ,is he not coming here80 8,yes10 said ,brummell1 8in a day or two2 but ,i have recommended him to walk the back streets till his new clothes come home40 ,brummell however may be excused if he became vain of his power4 ,for a season he was undoubtedly the very ,king of ,fashion1 and a terrible despot he was2 but he was flattered by kings1 or by their representatives4 ,the ,prince of ,wales passed long matutinal hours in ,brummell's dressing-room in ,chesterfield-street1 watching the progress of his friend's toilet4 ,the progress was occasionally so extended that the ,prince would dismiss his equipage1 invite himself to dinner1 and the master and pupil1 ,arcades ambo1 set to2 and 8fore gad1 they made a night of it60 ,never had tailor two such patrons as these two4 ,the young lord1 who numbered among what the 8,clerical ,tap-,tub0--as the clergy call a certain 8religious0 print1 famous for its nasty advertisements--styles 8perverts10 was nothing to these illustrious two4 ,when the young lord of whom ,i speak was at ,oxford1 and got1 as young lords sometimes will1 into difficulties1--on the overhauling of his wardrobe1 it was found that he had ordered1 in seven months1 upwards of three hundred and seventy waistcoats6 ,the youthful aristocrat however was a follower of the two ,georges1 only 8longo intervallo40 ,george ,brummell's wardrobe1 indeed1 dwindled down to the suit in which he died2 but the wardrobe of the other ,george sold1 after his death1 for upwards of fifteen thousand pounds4 ,how many a poor man might have been warmed beneath the cloth the ,sovereign never used6 ,the original cost of the wardrobe would not have surprised ,alexander1 but we do not live in the days of the ,macedonian2 and in the era of high-priced bread1 ,england was half-appalled at the thought that a hundred thousand pounds had scarcely purchased what was sold for fifteen4 ,among it all was a celebrated cloak1 the sable lining of which alone had originally cost eight hundred pounds4 ,lord ,chesterfield1 as little nice about wearing a cheap cast-off garment as one of his own lacqueys1 procured this mantle for little more than a fourth of the original price of the lining4 ,brummell never recovered the effects of the wager which he won by telling 8,wales0 to 8ring the bell10 and which order1 although obeyed1 was followed by another for 8,mr4 ,brummell's carriage40 ,he struggled indeed long1 and not unsuccessfully1 to retain his place among dandies and wits2 but his prestige gradually failed1 play went against him1 liabilities increased1 and creditors were clamorous4 ,he put a bold face on his ugly position1 and was never more brilliant or at his ease than the last night he appeared at the ,opera1--one ,saturday night1 when1 with the ,sunday before him1 he had determined to fly leisurely to the ,continent1 and leave his creditors to regret their confidence in him4 ,he was eloquent that night with an anecdote having reference to ,weston1 the famous tailor of ,bond-street4 8,that fellow ,weston10 said ,brummell1 8is an inimitable fellow1--a little defective perhaps in his #8linings1' but irreproachable for principle and button-holes4 ,he came to ,london1 ,sir1 without a shilling2 and he counts more realized thousands than our fat friend does #8frogs' on his ,brandenburg4 ,he is not only rich1 but brave2 not only brave1 but courteous2 and not alone courteous1 but candid4 ,the other day he was coming up from some d--d place on the coast1 by that thing1 the--the--stage-coach40 7,it was ,brummell's boast1--not a true one1 as it was with the last ,marquis of ,bath1 who died full of years1--that he had never ridden by a 8public0 conveyance of any kind1 whether by sea or land47 ,but to resume3 8,there were two women in the coach10 said ,brummell1 8two deucedly pretty women1 and an over-dressed fellow1 who was of course an ass2 and who was so over-civil to the prettier of the two1 that the persecuted creature appealed to quiet little ,weston for protection4 ,weston1 ,sir1 talked to the fellow with an aplomb that would have done honour to either of my friends the ,lord ,primate or the ,lord ,chancellor4 ,the brute1--not the tailor1 but the #8gentleman1'--was deaf to remonstrance1 and ruder than ever4 ,thereupon1 ,weston1 without losing his self-possession1 stopped the coach1 dragged the astonished fellow out1 explained to the outside passengers the state of the case1 and found his challenge to fight received with acclamations by everybody but his designated opponent4 ,he compelled his unwilling adversary1 however1 to stand upon the defensive1 and a most terrible thrashing he gave him4 ,but his coup de grce1 ,sir10 said ,brummell1 8was the most finished thing ,i ever heard of4 ,weston1 ,sir1 picked him up from the ground1 held him at arm's length1 and in a cruel loud voice exclaimed to him1 #8,now1 ,sir1 it may be a pleasure to you and to your friends1 to know that you have not only been well licked1 but you have been licked by a tailor6 ' 8,from this time forth10 continued ,brummell1 after the generally excited laugh had subsided1 8,i shall religiously pay my tailors' bills4 ,the act of ,weston has heroified the profession40 ,alas6 poor fallen potentate6 he could not have paid his share of the table d'hte1 had he sat down at that at which ,candide encountered half-a-dozen dethroned kings in ,venice4 ,a few hours after he was an ,adullamite in ,calais1 warming the poor palette afterwards to be occupied by ,romeo ,coates4 ,some half-century to come1 the grandson of ,mr4 ,millais perhaps may limn the scene when ,george ,,iv41 on his ,hanover trip1 suddenly observing at ,calais his ex-friend making his way1 pale and serious1 through the crowd1 sank back in his carriage with a 8,good ,god1--,brummell60 and almost fainted at the recognition4 ,during fourteen years did the fallen dandy impatiently support his exile1 and very patiently endure the disgrace of living on the charity of his friends and on that of compassionate and1 too often1 insulted acquaintances4 ,he abused the fare set before him with delicate courtesy1 and ridiculed the hosts who had gone to some expense to make his misery tolerable4 ,he never learned modesty2 never had a heart2 not even one made out of brains1 as in the case of ,fontenelle4 ,in his fallen state he annoyed his hearers with repetitions of abuse1 levied against those he had known in the period of his spangled vanity4 ,he was particularly bitter against the ,duke of ,clarence1 whom he described as 8a man who did very well to wear a cocked hat and walk about the quarter-deck crying #8luff6'0 and who was so rough and uncivilized1 according to the narrator1 that the latter was compelled to 8cut0 him6 ,destitute1 idle1 and in debt1 his position at ,calais was one that would have appalled any honest and industrious man4 ,it simply annoyed our hero1 because he was no longer imperious master4 ,his impudence however did not forsake him1 but his independence did2 and when he accepted the consulship at ,caen1 with its poor #hj per annum set apart to provide for his necessities1 the remainder to be devoted to the liquidation of his ,calais debts1 he was as much a pensioned slave as the veriest lacquey could be4 ,his pride was wounded1 but his arrogance flourished4 ,this too was shaken when the consulship was suppressed2 and pride and arrogance were crushed when his friends had died off1 contributions ceased1 debts increased1 and the solid door of the gloomiest of prisons stood barred and locked between him and the world4 ,retributive justice fell upon this splendidly-useless human being4 ,he had been proud of two things1 his extreme refinement and his mental qualifications4 ,he was terribly smitten in both directions4 ,after his release from prison he fell into the tender keeping of the ,sisters of ,charity of the 8,bon ,sauveur0 at ,caen4 ,he was an abject pauper1 and worse4 ,his infirmities were of that sort at which a nice and healthy nature is repelled2 and he who had detected vulgarity in the odour of a rose became1 in his degraded hours1 ere death relieved him1 offensive to a degree that turned sick and disgusted the charity of all but of the ,sisters who nursed him4 ,there was something again awful in the direction in which his mind 8drove10 while his soul itself was fast drifting over the turbulent cataracts of time into the boundless lake of calm eternity4 ,he was for ever imagining himself among the scenes and companions of his days of noisy but empty triumph4 ,it was his custom of an afternoon1 when convalescent and clean1 to arrange the furniture of his little room as for expected company4 ,there all alone sat the spectral fop waiting for spectres2 and as to his mind's diseased eye these glided in1 and to his deceived ear were duly announced1 that ghastly shattered beau arose and went into mock raptures3 he received his 8dear duchess0 with delight2 and favoured shadowy countesses were led by him to the visionary sofa2 and intangible lords were touched familiarly upon their non-existent shoulders2 and the whole phantom soire was gone through with a solemn trifling1 till the shadows which came had as shadows departed1 leaving with the solitary host just sufficient reason to enable him to appreciate the utter nothingness of all the scene1 and to burst into childish tears at the recollection of the stupendous folly4 ,the flattered guest of princes died in a workhouse4 ,he who had sat at palace-banquets would have died of starvation and uncleanness but for the alms and the hearts of the charitable ,sisters1 to whom1 rare occurrence6 he was not ungrateful4 ,at the period of his decease1 in the month of ,march1 #ahdj1 he was in his sixty-second year2 and the 8old man0 had not died within him ere he breathed his last4 ,after his death1 we are told that several packets of letters1--tied up with different-coloured ribbons1 and carefully numbered1--a miniature1 a silver shaving-dish1 a gold ring1 and a few silver spoons1 were found in a trunk at the htel4 ,the miniature and letters were taken possession of by the vice-consul1 and the remaining effects by the landlord1 in liquidation of an account which had only been partially cancelled4 ,this person said1 that in the same parcel with the letters was another containing a great many locks of hair4 ,oh1 poor human nature6 what demoniacal vanity was here6 ,but let us be just to this once-glittering simpleton4 ,if he kept letters1 he at least kept them sacred4 ,he never published one to injure even a living enemy4 ,vain as he was1 he was not revengeful2 and no provocation could have worked upon him as a fancied provocation did upon 8the ,right ,hon4 ,john ,wilson ,croker10 who red-taped the open-hearted notes of ,moore1 and produced them as petards to blow to pieces the poet's reputation when that once gayest of bards lay mute and defenceless in his grave4 ,hugh ,miller1 in his excellent ,autobiography1 remarks that the ,loligo vulgaris1 or cuttle-fish1 swims with its feet foremost1--in other words1 follows its tail1 and often gets 8gravelled10 by darting blindly ashore1 whence it cannot regain its home within the waters4 ,something like this has ever been the fate of the 8beau20 for he who follows rather the animal than the intellectual propensities1 is sure to rush1 sooner or later1 upon his own destruction4 ,besides1 how great is the outlay required to make a 8beau10--well-scented and useless1 though perhaps temporarily agreeable6 ,the sacrifices are greater than ,i have space to enumerate2 the result in proportion is infinitesimally small4 ,it reminds me of the six hundred pounds' weight of rose-leaves required to produce a single ounce of the attar4 ,sad waste of many values in order to achieve a fashionable smell6 ,not that a man should be indifferent to dress or to personal appearance4 ,dr4 ,chalmers himself illustrates the fact that some care about costume is consistent with the occupations of the mightiest intellect4 ,in his #8,journal' 7,july1 #ahbd71 he says3--8,dressed for dinner4 ,have got a new way of folding up my coat1 which ,i shall teach you when ,i get home1 as it is of great use to a traveller4 ,i am about as fond of it as ,i was of the new method of washing my hands40 ,from ,chalmers to ,chifney is perhaps going a long way for another illustration4 ,they however who remember the late celebrated jockey in the days of his retirement will admit its propriety4 ,how glossily patriarchal the old rider used to look1 when1 turned pedestrian1 he was wont to pace ,regent-street1 in broad-brimmed hat and a clerical-looking surtout6 ,had he only been less grave of aspect1 and more frolicsome of action1 one might have taken him for ,wilberforce4 ,it is really pleasant to trace how celebrated men in other climes than that of ,england make of costume a means to an end4 ,i am reminded of this by a passage in one of the late ,lord ,metcalfe's letters1 in which he records his visit to the camp of ,holkar1 and notices one of that chief's dandy captains1 ,ameer ,khan4 8,ameer ,khan10 he says1 8is blackguard in his looks1 and affected on the occasion of my reception to be particularly fierce1 by rubbing his coat over with gunpowder1 and assuming in every way the air of a common soldier40 ,this was only ,brummell 8with a difference20 the ,beau used to anoint himself with the oil of impudence in order to impose on the world1 as ,ameer ,khan rubbed his coat with gunpowder that he might excite admiration in the breast of the civilian-soldier of ,deeg4 ,for the reason that induced ,miss ,agnes ,strickland to close her record of the ,queens with the reign of ,queen ,anne1 so do ,i close that of the beaux with the biography of ,brummell4 ,d',orsay was indeed a greater than he2 but he has too recently shuffled off this mortal coil to be strictly dealt with1 and the truth concerning him might hurt the feelings of those of his followers who continue to wear deep stocks with long ends4 ,his career only furnished a further proof that the profession of a 8beau0 is not a paying one4 ,he was great in a ,fielding-ian sense1 and according to the poet's maxim which says1 8,base is the slave that pays40 ,mere generosity does not make a gentleman2 and even generosity that is oblivious of justice is of no value4 ,there was really nothing to admire in him4 ,a recent 8friend and acquaintance0 indeed has been so hard put to it to find out a virtue in ,d',orsay1 that he has fixed upon his neglect of paying his creditors as one2 and the 8friend0 thinks that it was sufficient honour for tradesmen to have him for their debtor6 ,he resided at ,gore ,house2 gave dinners to ,louis ,napoleon1 which cost the giver nothing in money1 and the hungry recipient as little in gratitude2 he drew caricature portraits of his 8familiars20 proposed a public subscription for the polluting ,paul de ,kock2 and was the author of a portrait or figure of our ,saviour1 the idea of which seemed to be taken from that of ,decker in the old comedy1 who dared to say of ,him that ,he was-- 8,the first true gentleman that ever breathed40 ,finally1 the worst thing that could happen for the reputation of the deceased ,count is1 that he should have so mistaken an advocate as the author of #8,friends and ,acquaintances4' ,better would it have been for the irreproachably-dressed ,d',orsay1 if he could have said as the ,psalmist did3--8,my lovers and friends hast thou put away from me1 and hid mine acquaintance out of my sight40 ,in the annals of dress however1 the doctors of the olden time claim as much notice as the beaux4 ,if my readers be sick of the latter1 here are a few medical gentlemen1 in full costume1 ready to be consulted4 ,,doctors ,,ready ,,dressed4 8,these1 ,sir1 ,are ,death's ,masters of the ,ceremonies2 ,more strangely-clad officials never yet ,usher'd the way to ,death's cold festival40 ,,old ,,play4 ,of all the doctors on the learned rota1 there may have been more famous1 but none more deserving1 than ,freake4 ,he was regardless of nothing but dress2 and he had a capital appreciation of fun1 and a strong predilection for matters of fantasy4 ,dr4 ,freake of ,st4 ,bartholomew's1 and his cousin the ,justice1 were not only given to dreaming1 but to publish their dreams4 ,they deemed their visions not only important to themselves and the public generally1 but to the sovereigns of ,europe especially4 ,the dreams were wildly unintelligible1 and the interpretations unintelligibly wild4 ,but the ,justice had active common-sense about him when he was awake4 ,he was a careful dresser1 which is more than can be said for the ,doctor1 and he presented the ,bodleian ,library with a collection of medals4 ,their tricksy spirits added the word freak to the vocabulary of the ,english language4 ,the ,doctor's cousin1 like the ,doctor1 was not a fop2 and as much could scarcely be said of the profession generally4 ,granger says indeed of ,dr4 ,col that he was not a coxcomb4 ,this was at a time when the physicians were coxcombs2 and the apothecaries1 who followed and copied the more dignified brethren1 were coxcombs and meta-physicians4 ,the medical coxcomb of the day has thus been dressed up by a popular poet3-- 8,each son of ,sol1 to make him look more big1 ,had on a large1 grave1 decent1 three-tail'd wig2 ,his clothes full-trimm'd1 with button-holes behind2 ,stiff were the skirts with buckram stoutly lined2 ,the cloth1 cut velvet1 or more reverend black1 ,full made1 and powder'd1 half-way down his back2 ,large decent cuffs1 which near the ground did reach1 ,with half-a-dozen buttons fix'd on each4 ,grave were their faces1 fix'd in solemn state6 ,these men struck awe1 their presence carried weight2 ,in reverend wigs1 old heads young shoulders bore1 ,and twenty-five or thirty seem'd threescore40 ,such was the learned and able individual by whose help we became the heirs of our forefathers1--helping the one into life1 the other out of it4 ,i will add a sketch of a ,german doctor1 and then of a ,french doctor of some celebrity1 both for his costume and his professional and personal qualities4 ,and first1 of the professional dress of the ,medicus ,germanicus4 ,madame ,schopenhauer says of the ,german doctors of the last century that they were all aged--not so much by weight of years as of preconceived opinions4 ,she could not imagine that any of them had ever been young1 or had ever condescended to the sports of the young4 ,for many years of her life she never either saw or heard of a young physician4 ,these vice-lords of human life1 incomparably clever at guessing1 were addressed by the style and title of 8,excellency20 and even as ,falstaff was 8,jack ,falstaff0 only with his familiars1 so he must have been a very intimate friend indeed who ventured to call a ,german physician 8,herr ,doctor40 ,he who has seen ,bundle in the #8,waterman' may have a very good idea of a ,german medico's wig3--snow white1 thickly powdered1 and excruciatingly curled4 ,it had further the distinction of resting1 one portion on the back and two descending in front of the shoulders4 ,a scarlet cloth coat adorned with gold lace1 ruffles deeper plaited than ,lord ,ogilvie's1 a shirt-frill as wide as a mainsail1 silk stockings1 knee-breeches1 and an acre of buckles on the shoes enriched with gold and gems1 a low-crowned cocked hat under the arm1 too small for the head1 and a stout walking-stick or fancy cane1 with clouded or carved head-pieces1--and ever applied to prop the chin in cases where it was necessary to let it be thought that the physician was thinking1--it was thus attired that these patented murderers went forth to slay4 ,what should we think now of ,dr4 ,locock in a gold-laced scarlet coat1 like ,lablache in #8,dulcamara'8 ,the #8,connoisseur1' speaking of the medical dress in ,england1 says3--8,when we see a snuff-coloured suit of ditto1 with bolus-buttons1 a metal-headed cane1 and an enormous bushy grizzle1 we as readily know the wearer to be a dispenser of life and death1 as if we had seen him pounding a mortar or1 etc40 ,in ,france1 the medical costume of the last century and of the preceding one was quite as singular4 ,at an earlier period the dress of the 8mire10 that primitive healer of the people1 was a familiar sight to the ,parisians1 especially in the neighbourhood of the ,rue de la ,harpe4 ,a long black robe covered the dirt1 and stood for dignity in this once remarkable personage1 who traversed the streets1 vending dreadful unctions4 ,he was always escorted by a boy bearing a monkey1 and this monkey was bled a dozen times a day by the learned gentleman1 to satisfy the passers-by that he1 the professor1 and not the monkey1 was a skilful hand at phlebotomy4 ,in a street adjacent to the ,rue de la ,harpe resided1 during a portion of the troubled reign of ,louis ,,xvi41 the celebrated ,dr4 ,audry4 ,he had lived there for twenty years without being able to achieve any of the renown which he subsequently acquired4 ,he had fallen in love1 but that did not help him4 ,he lacked one indispensable thing1 wanting which nobody trusted him4 ,he wore no wig4 ,he had a magnificent head of hair of his own2 but to retain that was only wearing a testimonial of incapacity4 ,the fair lady1 who was his heart's familiar friend1 resided in a house opposite his own2 and when she heard that her ,samson was about to be shorn1 she burst into tears1 and reproached him with infidelity4 8,such splendid curls60 sobbed the damsel4 8,my colleagues do not wear them60 said ,audry4 8,you in a peruke60 exclaimed the lady1 hardly knowing whether to laugh or to cry at the idea of her lover in a wig4 8,it is the symbol and livery of science4 ,without it1 it appears1 ,i cannot be a doctor40 ,the lady insisted1 by way of compromise1 that she should be permitted to select the wig2 and she expressly made choice of one of such colossal dimensions and of so easy a fit1 that poor ,audry looked more like a fool than a physician in it4 ,but it helped to bring him into fashion4 ,he was considered as an old gentleman2 and young ladies admitted him to their circles and causeries1 from which they affected to banish youth of aspect less mature4 ,his popularity was on the increase1 just as an adventure happened to him1 which might have shaken a reputation more firmly established4 ,he was one evening summoned to attend a wealthy ,english ,peer1 whose mansion was in the ,rue ,tournon4 ,his way thither led him beneath the window of his fair friend1 who had been rather piqued by his success among the ladies1 and who had previously resolved to overthrow both cause and effect connected therewith4 ,she was a pretty1 sparkling1 and joyously mischievous girl of some three-and-twenty years2 and her father loved her nearly as much as he did fishing1 which1 for an enthusiastic angler as he was1 was no small proof of paternal affection4 ,the damsel contrived so well that1 as the doctor passed1 she flung her line1 with the paternal fish-hook at the end of it1 and caught up the wig therewith as lightly as her father would have picked up a trout4 ,dr4 ,audry looked up in astonishment1 and prayed for his professional peruke in vain4 ,being hurried1 moreover1 he passed on his way1 and repaired to his patient with a head like ,mr4 ,buckstone's in ,scrub4 ,when ,lord ,a beheld him he exclaimed1 8,what6 waited upon by the assistant1 when ,i sent for the principal8--by a student1 when ,i needed a practitioner8--but perhaps you are ,doctor ,audry's nephew3--well1 my groom has the same sort of rheumatism that ,i have2 be kind enough to go and look after him40 ,audry1 in his memoirs1 in telling the tale1 does not forget the sequel4 ,thus insulted1 he rushed1 in a rage1 to the offending lady1 who met him with open arms and laughing eyes4 8,my dear doctor10 said she1 8do not storm2 ,papa was just on the point of securing to you something better than a peruke1--a fortune60 8,you are a light--0 8,thing to be loved1 as you love me3 ,i know it10 said the lady archly1 8but ,st4 ,severin is our parish nevertheless40 8,st4 ,severin our parish8 ,i do not comprehend2 unless ,i am authorized to go there and arrange for our marriage40 8,take all that papa prescribes upon that head2 and1 talking of heads1 you shall have your peruke again after the honeymoon40 ,audry was content2 and the wedding went off as merrily as though it had been the last act in an old comedy2 though the newly-espoused couple did not lead quite so angelical a life afterwards1 as either ,st4 ,severin of ,cologne1 or his namesake of ,bordeaux4 ,but it was neither to be expected nor required of them4 ,they would not have been half as profitable to the state if they had followed1 throughout1 the example set them by the saint whose name graced the church wherein they were united4 ,a ,dacota doctor is perhaps1 neither in costume nor practice1 more absurd than his ,european brethren of the early part of the last century4 ,his fee is a blanket1 a buffalo robe1 or a pipe2 his dress is chiefly composed of the first two articles2 and his cunning lies in his sacred rattle1 which he shakes as ,christian doctors do their heads1 and there is no doubt as much in one as in the other4 ,wherever he goes he carries with him his medicine-bag2 and to ask him what that mysterious article contains1 and upon what grounds he applies its contents1 would be an insult as profound as if you asked your own medical man for the reasons of his practice1 and expected that he would 7or could7 give you an answer4 ,the ,winnebagoes are attired like their learned brethren among the ,dacotas2 but dress is not thought so much of by them as possession of the medicine-bag3 to lose this is to lose reputation4 ,but1 savages as these are1 they have some very wise observances4 ,the chief of these is the medicine-dance4 ,this is a grand solemnity1 given by the doctors1 for two reasons3 one1 for the increase of practice1 just as we find the fashion to be at home2 the other reason is1 in order to appease the dead who have died under medical treatment4 ,and perhaps that is also the reason why our own medicine-men give such neat dinners1 such splendid balls1 or such enjoyable quadrilles on the carpet and soires dansantes4 ,these entertainments are born of remorse2 and when next you join the saltatory throng at the house of your medical friend1 ponder gravely1 good reader1 on the solemnity of the occasion1 and impress upon that fair girl1 with her hair l',impratrice1 that the object for which you mutually point the light fantastic toe1 is to rescue the medical master of the house from the revengeful visits of the unskilfully slain at his hands4 ,that understood1 plunge with frantic velocity into the valse deux temps4 ,the sacred rattles of the ,dacotas and ,winnebagoes are always shaken with maddening rapidity on these occasions1 and you are the rattles by which doctors live4 ,the more you are shaken1 the better they live2 and should you have the honour of perishing by their prescription1 find comfort in knowing that other waltzers will perform1 not in your memory1 but that you may be peacefully forgotten1 the 8medicine-dance0 of the medically murdered4 ,it will be found only another division of this subject to treat of odd dressers and dresses1 after touching upon doctors and costume1--doctors who so often looked like the ,laird of ,cockpen1 of whom we are told that 8,his wig was well powther'd and as good as new1 ,his jacket was red1 and his hose they were blue2 ,he put on a ring1 a sword1 and cock'd hat2 ,ah1 who could refuse the ,laird wi' a' that80 ,if the doctors were sometimes queerly costumed1 their matches might be occasionally found among the laity4 ,for these ,i open the last scene1 and 8,enter mob variously attired40 ,,odd ,,fashions4 8,avec ceci finit la comdie2 allez-vous-en1 gens de la noce1 et dites du bien de l'auteur40--,crispin la ,foire4 ,the fashion of tattooing has a singular origin4 ,we are indebted for our knowledge thereof to ,clearchus1 who tells us that the women of ,scythia1 having seized upon some ,thracian women who dwelt in their vicinity1 traced on their bodies1 by means of needles1 certain marks1 which the latter could not contemplate without being made very angry4 ,the lady who went down ,regent-street the other day with the shop-ticket affixed to her new shawl1 and which contained the announcement1 8,very chaste1 #a4 #es410 was not half so ridiculous as these poor ,thracian ladies1 with the etchings about them drawn by their dear ,scythian cousins4 ,it does not seem ever to have entered the heads of the victims that they might have concealed their annoyance beneath a garment4 ,they did not wear garments at that time4 ,they however hit upon a device not unworthy of that page of the ,duke de ,vendme who1 losing his shoulder-knot of ribbons1 on being pursued as he was leaving the boudoir of a maid of honour1 hurried to the room where his fellow-pages were sleeping and cut the knots off from every laced coat in the apartment1 and so escaped detection4 ,the ,thracian women fixed upon as happy an expedient4 ,they so mixed up the tattooed marks with other designs1 that the original drawings were entirely lost in the embellishments1 like ,handel's airs in a certain lady's cadences4 ,by this means the characteristic sign of their shame and ignominy was no longer discernible1 and the mode of tattooing became a mode indeed in ,thrace4 ,a young lady there could not have had a greater compliment paid to her at a ball than to be told that1 front and back1 her tattooing was in the true style of the ,thracian improvement on the ,scythian design4 ,the dear creature might blush1 but she would feel happily sure that she had made a conquest1 and would make all her young friends savage by telling them the secret4 ,among the odd dressers of the last century was the celebrated ,french philosopher and poet1 ,monsieur de la ,condamine4 ,like ,george ,selwyn1 he was an indefatigable attendant at executions4 ,he of course did not forget that of ,damiens1 the most horrible butchery ever enacted on the ,grve1 and at which ,french ladies were present with opera glasses1 the better to enjoy the spectacle4 ,even so wits1 philosophers1 and 8females0 honoured the ,mannings with their presence1 in front of ,horsemonger-lane gaol4 ,condamine went for ever in search of truth1 like ,diogenes looking for a man4 ,at the execution of ,damiens1 he pushed his way close to the dread officers of the law1 and there1 with his trumpet fastened to his ear 7for he was 8as deaf as a post071 and his pencil and tablets in his hands1 he watched and recorded progress4 ,at each tearing of the flesh by the pincers1 or at each blow dealt by the bar which crushed the limbs on which it fell1 ,condamine exclaimed1 8,what does he say now8 what does he say now80 ,the satellites of ,charlot1 the hangman1 wished to drive him away as a troublesome fellow1 but the executioner civilly remarked that 8the gentleman was an amateur1 and might stay if he liked40 ,with all this1 ,de la ,condamine was a simple-minded and humane man4 ,in our ,london streets he produced a great effect2 there he walked1 dressed as laxly as ,sir ,simon ,slack1 and carrying with him a huge umbrella1 almost as huge an ear-trumpet1 a telescope1 a compass1 and a map of ,london permanently unfolded4 ,he questioned everybody he met1 but as he did this in ,english1 as he thought1 of which he did not comprehend a word1 he was exceedingly like a metaphysician1 who necessarily does not understand either what he says or what is said to him4 ,his singular appearance in the streets speedily brought a counterfeit presentment of him on the stage1 and1 from ,king downwards1 all the ,english actors who played ,frenchmen dressed them after the pattern of ,m4 ,de la ,condamine4 ,as ,i have above noticed the ,paris executioner1--8,monsieur de ,paris10 as he used to be called1--,i may further remark that the personage who filled that office some twenty years ago was one of the best-dressed and best-informed men ,i ever met with4 ,he might have been taken for a reverend abb1 who did not deem that the dignity of priest was hurt by uniting with it the joviality of man4 ,he was a man indeed of bloody hands1 but he had gentle affections too2 and he loved his children1 ay1 reader1 as well as thou lovest thine own4 ,the ,earl of ,ferrers1 who murdered his steward in #agfj1 was condemned to be executed for his crime4 ,he had been originally married in a suit of white kerseymere and silver2 and he chose to be hung in the same suit1 it being as appropriate to one occasion1 he said1 as the other4 ,walpole1 discerning the effect this might have on fashion1 remarks1 8,i suppose every highwayman will preserve the blue handkerchief he has about his neck when he is married1 that he may die like a lord40 ,the ,earl dated his misfortunes from the day on which he married the sister of ,sir ,william ,meredith4 ,he accused the lady of having met him drunk at an assembly1 and having kept him so till the ceremony was over4 ,had he charged her with making him drunk1 the lady1 who was a faithful wife1 might have been more to blame2 and as for keeping him drunk afterwards1 he was seldom subsequently sober1 and had only himself to blame4 ,this coroneted brute1 who was remarkable for his taste in dress1 was at once fond and faithless4 ,he kept his ,countess in continual fear of her life1 beating her by day and threatening to shoot her at night4 ,they were separated2 and it was because ,johnson1 his steward1 advanced her some portion of her allowance without the knowledge of the ,earl1 that the latter shot him at three o'clock in the afternoon1 and continued tormenting him till one in the morning1 rejoicing to kill him slowly6 ,after being sentenced by a unanimous vote of the ,house of ,lords1 he passed his time in the ,tower in playing picquet with the warders2 and1 like ,jerome ,cardan1 he would not play for pastime1 but for money4 ,he drank as much wine as he could get1 and then took to beer1 for want of something better4 ,in the procession1 which moved from the ,tower to ,tyburn1 this doomed man1 in his wedding clothes1 was the only person who did not appear affected4 ,his coachman blubbered and the officials looked grave1 but the indifferent ,lord made comments on the crowd1 alluded now and then to the purpose in hand1 and had the condescension to acknowledge that he did believe in a ,god4 ,as connected with fashion1 it may be noticed that the ,earl was the first man who suffered by the 8new drop40 ,to travel to the other world by the 8,ferrers' ,stage10 of course had its popular and peculiar signification4 ,let me add1 that while he was hanging in white1 the sheriffs1 in mourning and robes of office1 were coolly standing on the scaffold1 eating and drinking1 and helping up their friends to drink with them4 ,the executioners fought for the rope1 and he who lost it cried2 8but10 says ,walpole1 who was not there to see1 8the universal crowd behaved with great decency and admiration40 ,there is another act to this tragedy4 ,lady ,ferrers subsequently married ,lord ,frederick ,campbell1 brother of the ,duke of ,argyle1 at whose seat1 ,combe ,bank1 ,kent1 she was unfortunately burnt to death4 ,there was about this time another celebrated personage remarkable for her style of dress4 ,we have all heard of 8,sappho's diamonds on her dirty smock10 and ,pope's line does not seem overcharged4 8,i have seen ,lady ,mary ,wortley ,montague10 writes ,walpole in #agfb2 8,i think her avarice1 her dirt1 and her vivacity are all increased4 ,her dress1 like her languages1 is a galimatias of several countries2 the ground-work rags1 and the embroidery nastiness4 ,she needs no cap1 no handkerchief1 no gown1 no petticoat1 no shoes4 ,an old black-lace hood represents the first2 the fur of a horseman's coat1 which replaces the third1 serves for the second2 a dimity petticoat is deputy1 and officiates for the fourth2 and slippers act the part of the last4 ,when ,i was at ,florence1 and she was expected there1 we drew ,sortes ,virgilianas for her2 we literally drew #8,insanam vatem aspicies4' ,it would have been a stronger prophecy now even than it was then40 ,i think it was said of ,lady ,mary1 that1 on being once at the ,french ,opera1 some one remarked to her1 8,mon dieu1 ,miladi1 que vous avez les mains sales60 8,ah60 exclaimed the dirty lady with a conscious pride1 8si vous voyiez mes pieds60 ,this story however is something apocryphal4 ,the worst feature in ,lady ,mary was that she was not only dirty as an elderly woman1 but had been so as a young one4 ,two-and-twenty years before ,walpole wrote the above account of her1 he thus photographed the nymph whom ,pope had transiently adored4 ,walpole met her at ,florence in #agdj1 and there1 he says1 she was 8laughed at by the whole town4 ,her dress1 her avarice1 and her impudence must amaze any one that never heard her name4 ,she wears a foul mob that does not cover her greasy black locks1 that hang loose1 never combed or curled2 an old mazarine blue wrapper1 that gapes open and discovers a canvas petticoat4 ,her face swelled violently on one side1 with the remains of a partly covered with a plaister1 and partly with white paint1 which1 for cheapness1 she has bought so coarse1 that you would not use it to wash a chimney40 ,spence1 who saw this clever and eccentric lady during the following year at ,rome1 describes her as brilliant1 irregular1 and erratic as a comet2 at once wise and imprudent1 8the loveliest1 most disagreeable1 best-natured1 cruellest woman in the world2 all things by turns1 and nothing long40 ,three foreign travellers in ,england have pleasantly remarked upon an old custom which would now be considered more honoured in the breach than the observance4 ,the custom alluded to is that of kissing4 ,chalcondyles1 the ,greek1 who visited our respected ancestors between four and five centuries ago1 was highly surprised1 delighted1 and edified with this novel mode4 ,he says of it3--8,as for ,english females and children1 their customs are liberal in the extreme4 ,for instance1 when a visitor calls at a friend's house1 his first act is to kiss his friend's wife2 he is then a duly installed guest4 ,persons meeting in the street follow the same custom1 and no one sees anything improper in the action40 ,nicander ,nucius1 another ,greek traveller1 of a century later1 also adverts to this oscillatory fashion4 8,the ,english10 he says1 8manifest much simplicity and lack of jealousy in their habits and customs as regards females2 for not only do members of the same family and household kiss them on the lips with complimentary salutations and enfolding of the arms round the waist1 but even strangers when introduced follow the same mode2 and it is one which does not appear to them in any degree unbecoming40 ,the third commentator is ,erasmus1 and it is astonishing how lively the ,dutchman becomes when expatiating on this ticklish subject4 ,writing from ,england to ,andrelinus in #adii1 he says unctuously3--8,they have a custom too which can never be sufficiently commended4 ,on your arrival1 you are welcomed with kisses4 ,on your departure1 you are sent off with kisses4 ,if you return1 the embraces are repeated4 ,do you receive a visit1 your first entertainment is of kisses4 ,do your guests depart1 you distribute kisses amongst them4 ,wherever you meet them they greet you with a kiss4 ,in short1 whichever way you turn1 there is nothing but kissing4 ,ah6 ,faustus1 if you had once tasted the tenderness1 the fragrance of these kisses1 you would wish to stay in ,england1 not for a ten years' voyage1 like ,solon's1 but as long as you lived40 ,i leave to the bachelors to pronounce upon the merits of this custom--which must have had its disadvantages too2--a qualified remark which ,i the more feel bound to make1 as1 were ,i to join in the ecstatic laudation of the grave ,dutchman1--why1 to use ,hood's words1 8,i have my fears about my ears1 ,i'm not a single man60 ,let us now turn from ,english fashions to ,french incidents4 ,some years ago1 the summer evening habitus of the ,champs ,elyses used to find amusement in listening to an open-air entertainment of some singularity4 ,a pale1 thin1 fragile1 but bright-eyed and intellectual-looking girl of perhaps ten or twelve years of age used to appear in the most crowded part of the walk1 an hour or so before sunset1 attended by an old woman who carried a violin1 a tin cup1 and a carpet4 ,while the girl stood apart for a moment1 with something of a rapt look1 the old woman spread the carpet1 put down the cup at one corner1 and scraped a preliminary air upon the violin4 ,the air was not always appropriate to the drama that was to follow1 for the favourite overture of the performer was 8,ma'm'selle ,pinson est une blonde60--and that was like making 8,yankee ,doodle0 or 8,nancy ,dawson0 pass as introductory symphonies to #8,hamlet' or #8,macbeth4' ,however1 the orchestra having terminated the prelude1 the girl stepped on to the carpet1 with the air of a little tragedy queen1 and recited long tirades from ,racine and ,corneille4 ,but then she recited them superbly2 and despite her air of suffering and her exceedingly poor attire1 she produced such an effect upon her hearers that while she rested1 the audience were never weary of filling the cup carried round by the old woman1 with sous and half-franc pieces1 in order to encourage her to new efforts4 ,the collection was always a large one2 and when the delicate-looking child retired1 all palpitating and with a flush upon her cheek1 of which it were difficult to say whether it were the flush of her own triumph or that of death destined to triumph over her1 the acclamations and cordial compliments of her hearers greeted her as she passed4 ,well1 a winter had gone1 and a summer had come1 but with it did not come to the loiterers in the ,elysian fields the ,tragic ,muse whom they were disposed and eager to welcome4 ,but during the year a marvellous child appeared on the stage of the ,gymnase ,dramatique4 ,she came like a meteor and so departed4 ,the truth was1 that her friends saw at once that she was too good for that stage1 and she was withdrawn1 in order to appear on one more classical4 ,well do ,i remember that we loiterers in the shady avenues that lead to ,neuilly used to dispute1 and we youths the loudest of all1 as to whether the dbutante of the ,gymnase was or was not the inspired nymph that used in the public highway to create as much delight as ,duchesnois herself before the critical pit of the 8,franais40 ,the dispute was not to be determined by us1 and in the meantime we spoke of our absent delight as of a lost ,pleiad1 and so the year wore away4 ,and then came the eventful night on which a girl1 of whom no one had previously heard by the name which she now wore1 glided on to the stage of the ,thtre ,franais1 and in a moment awoke ,french ,tragedy out of the shroud in which she had been decently enveloped since ,duchesnois had laid her down to die4 ,the name of the girl was ,,rachel2 and so pale and unearthly was she1 yet so inspired in her look1 so commanding1 so irresistible1 that every one was not only ready to acknowledge the new sovereign of the tragic throne1 but all ,paris declared that the ,rachel who was now famous for ever was no other than the poor girl who used to stand on a carpet in the ,champs ,elyses and recite ,racine for sous and half-franc pieces4 ,the lady most concerned maintained a discreet silence1 and various were opinions as to the identity4 ,in course of time1 however1 she seems herself to have cleared up the mystery by one of the prettiest possible and most practical of confessions4 ,as this is a question of evidence1 ,i think it better to let my witness speak rather than myself condense the testimony1 and here is the deposition--ce dont il s'agit4 ,i have only first to premise that it is given by ,madame ,colmache in one of those pleasant ,paris letters which used to appear in the #8,atlas1' to the great amusement and edification of the readers4 ,the following is a portion of a letter which appeared in ,february1 #ahea4 8,rachel's htel in the ,rue ,trudon is gradually growing into the most exquisite little palace in the world4 ,the long-talked of fte1 which was to have been given by the ,tragedian upon the occasion of the ,mardi ,gras1 and to which all ,paris was intriguing and disputing to get invited1 has been postponed sine die1 and a literary and poetical festival was offered to her friends instead1 on ,sunday last4 ,the inauguration of the htel took place under the most brilliant auspices4 ,the vast number of rooms contained in the htel excited some surprise2 the more so as it is formally announced that the fair owner intends for the future to reside entirely alone4 #8,by whom will all these apartments be occupied8' said ,alexandre ,dumas to ,viennet1 as they strolled through the long suite of saloons and boudoirs4 #8,by the owner's souvenirs1 of course1' replied the latter4 #8,oh6 then ,i fear they will be terribly crowded1' replied ,alexandre laughing4 ,to those who complain of the sadness of the times and of the sad neglect of art manifested by the public of our own day1 a walk through that exquisitely adorned temple1 which certainly may rival1 both in elegance and richness1 the dwelling of ,aspasia and the villa of ,lais1 would be productive of an immediate change of opinion4 ,no expense has been spared upon the decoration of the htel2 some of the artists who stand highest have not disdained to furnish some of the designs for the moulding2 the ceilings are all painted by the greatest masters2 and the rich draperies which conceal the walls have all been taught to hang1 according to the strictest rules of symmetry1 by the great master hand40 ,the fte1 says the writer1 was concluded by an epilogue of great interest2 and it is this epilogue which connects the ,tragdienne of the 8,franais10 with the little ,thespian of the ,champs ,elyses4 ,the epilogue is truly described as one displaying a strange and singular aspect of the human heart4 8,the soire had been accepted as one of a purely literary character1 and every celebrity appertaining to every branch of literature came1 of course4 ,the fair hostess recited in costume every one of her principal tirades1 from all the great tragedies wherein she has acquired undying fame1 and then withdrew amid the hearty applause and unfeigned expressions of delight of the whole company4 ,presently she returned before them in a new character to them1 but of an old one to herself1--that of a street-singer1 her head bound by a ,madras handkerchief1 her shoulders enveloped in an old ,tartan shawl1 a cotton petticoat descending just below the knee1 and an old guitar slung across her bosom4 ,her appearance caused an almost painful interest4 ,there was poetry in the whole scene--in the very clatter of her sabots as she passed up the splendid gallery1 all hung with looking-glass1 and adorned with gilt tripods--in the wooden bowl with the sou at the bottom1 which she rattled as she stepped forward with a melancholy smile4 ,she walked straight to the head of the gallery1 and standing motionless for a moment1 began the ballad which she had sung the last of all before she was summoned from the street to the stage1 from rags and poverty1 to glory1 influence1 and riches4 ,by a singular coincidence1 this ballad happened to be the same formerly sung in #8,fanchon la ,veilleuse1'--#8,elle a quitt1'--relating how ,fanchon had left her humble home for wealth and grandeur1 and how she was gradually pining amidst the splendour of her lot for the love and liberty she had once enjoyed4 ,the voice of the singer1 perhaps from fatigue1 perhaps from emotion1 was low and faltering1 and produced an effect such as not the most powerful of her tirades from ,racine or ,corneille has ever been able to produce1--tears from her audience4 ,this incident will long be remembered by those who witnessed it40 ,no doubt2 and the writer might have added a closing incident which is said to have followed the song1 namely1 that the singer1 or reciter1 for even her songs were recited1 as every one will remember who has witnessed her #8,lycisca' in the high-coloured tragedy of #8,valeria1'--having terminated her song1 carried round the little cup or bowl1 as of yore1 only this time intimating to those to whom her trembling hand extended it--8,it is for the poor60 ,but to revert to older1 as well as odder fashions4 ,the consequences of the treaty which the ,colophonians made with the ,lydians1 will serve to show that alliances are not necessarily advantageous to the weaker party4 ,the ,colophonians were an austere people4 ,they were the ,quakers of antiquity1 and ,mr4 ,bright himself might admire them4 ,but no sooner were they united with the ,lydians than ,colophon became full of ,lydian milliners1 tailors1 jewellers1 and hairdressers1 and the reign of simplicity was over for ever4 ,prior to this a ,colophonian woman no more thought about her dress than did ,maria ,theresa1 who1 on being told that she was a grandmother1 rushed into the neighbouring ,opera-house1 in her flannel nightdress and huge nightcap1 in which she looked like ,mrs4 ,gamp1 and announced to the ecstatic audience that an heir was born to the greatness of ,hapsburg ,lorraine4 ,the ,colophonians were once as careless of appearances1 but now1 men and women1 they all adopted ,lydian fashions4 ,in one day1 a thousand of the former1 who had never known what a mantle was before1 were seen on the public place1 as proud of their jaunty purple cloaks as ,rubini of his #8,almaviva4' ,men and women alike had a gold ornament at the end of every lock of hair2 and as for perfume1 it was used to such an extent that for miles round the air was full of it1 and the ,lydian ,atkinsons toiled in vain to meet the demand by supply4 ,extravagance in dress has brought many a family to two-and-sixpence in the pound1 but it ruined ,miletus outright4 ,the rich people there not only impoverished themselves by their incredible extravagance in finery1 worse than our ancestors at the ,field of the ,cloth of ,gold1 who wore whole estates upon their backs1 but they despised the poor1 who were offensive to them for their homely fashions and rough tongues4 ,well1 these extravagant persons became insolent and helpless1 or what we should now call so2 and the poor then sued them after the fashion of men who knew not of ,bankruptcy ,courts4 ,they expelled the old oppressors1 but they seized their children2 and confining them in different granges1 caused them to be trodden to death by the oxen used for treading out the corn4 ,the rich however returned in strength1 and seizing the poor men1 women1 and children1 they covered them with pitch and put light to them1--so leaving them to perish4 ,the sacred olive-tree in the ,temple was so disgusted at both parties that it set fire to itself1 and died of spontaneous combustion4 ,the colour of its crackling leaves became a favourite one with religious persons2 and a 8robe feuille-morte0 was as much in vogue in the district as it more recently was in ,paris and the provinces4 ,there are some very odd 8habits0 about some of the swarthy potentates of torrid ,africa4 ,of these ,i can however mention but the following3--,the territory of ,damagram1 in ,central ,africa1 is inhabited by the wildest of the ,african races4 ,the method of supplying the slave-market there is truly nefarious4 ,if the ,sultan of ,zinder wants goar nuts for his dessert1 or calico to make what the good ,king ,dagobert had so much difficulty in adjusting to his royal person1 and if he has no money to purchase them1 he sends his officials to a neighbouring village1 in open day1 to steal two or three families and bring them to the ,sultan4 ,these families are immediately exchanged for the goar nuts or the calico1 and the swarthy tailor who makes up the royal suit perhaps reflects1 as he sews1 that the stuff has cost two or three living cousins1 whose fate it is to be sent beyond the ,atlantic to raise more cotton1 that shall find its way again to the ,african tailors' hands1 after it has been paid for with more human flesh4 ,it is not all the ,african chiefs that care to be dressed in calico4 ,the ,marghi1 for instance1 give little employment for tailors3 their dress consists of a simple band of leather passed between their loins and fixed round their girdle4 ,when this and a profusion of neatly-made rings of iron and ivory are fixed on the arms and legs1 the ,marghi gentlemen are dressed for the day4 ,the oddest of fashions or dresses was one which was once adopted by the rich but parsimonious ,fountayn ,wilson1 the wealthy but thrifty landowner of ,yorkshire4 ,when loyal gentlemen were raising militia companies during the late war1 ,mr4 ,wilson not only followed the fashion1 but he bought1 at a low rate1 a quantity of grey cloth1 in the expectation that ,government would purchase it at an advanced price1 and so put a profit into ,fountayn's pocket4 ,he was disappointed1 but he consoled himself by wearing nothing for years but dresses made out of this coarse militia grey4 ,but ,london once saw him in a stranger dress than this4 ,mr4 ,wilson1 having accepted an invitation to dinner on a day whereon he had to attend as member of a committee of the ,house of ,commons1 ordered his servant to bring down to the house at six o'clock1 a change of dress1 and a hackney coach1 in which he said he would effect the change as he rode in it4 ,ablution he did not think about2 but if his old black coat would do to dine in1 he felt bound to change his nether garment4 ,he had just reached the ,horse ,guards1 and he had just taken off his trousers1 and was about to put his legs into the other pair1 when crack6 went the axle-tree1 and down came the coach6 ,an officious mob assembled to lend help2 but when they beheld an embarrassed gentleman with two pairs of trousers1 and neither of them on1 great was their astonishment1 and loudly did they publish the fact4 ,poor ,fountayn sat helpless and victimized1 till a good-natured officer who was passing1 and knew the eccentric ,m4,p41 released him1 by claiming him as a relative2 and as he led him covered with a cloak through the shrieking crowd1 he calmed the laughers into silence by significantly pointing with his finger to his forehead1--which seemed to imply that they ought to have compassion on the infirmity of an imbecile gentleman1 so well provided with garments and so apparently indifferent as to their use4 ,if ,oliver ,goldsmith went up in red plush breeches to be ordained by a bishop1 the celebrated ,daniel ,webster once appeared in as singular a costume1 considering the occasion on which he wore it4 ,the time had come when he was required to leave his old home at ,elms ,farm1 to visit ,dartmouth ,college1 for the purpose of being matriculated4 ,a neighbour1 in honest zeal for his credit1 made for him a complete new suit of clothes1--all of homespun cloth1--the colour 8deeply1 darkly1 beautifully blue40 ,thus attired1 he set off on horseback2 and he had not got far on his way when a storm suddenly overtook him1 to which he was exposed for many hours4 ,the river in his way became swollen1 the bridge was destroyed by the freshet1 and he was obliged to ride many miles round ere he could again strike into a direct path4 ,the rain descended in ceaseless torrents during the whole time4 ,the homespun suit was not made of fast colour4 ,the rain sank into the cloth1 and the indigo-blue1 politely making way for it1 soaked off into the shirt and skin of the young student4 ,his features too partook of the general hue1 and when the scholar reached ,hanover1 he was dyed blue from head to foot4 ,like ,essex1 when he came travel-soiled from ,ireland1 and proceeded to an interview with ,queen ,elizabeth1 he went straight before the college authorities2 without wiping--indeed he could not wipe the now fixed cerulean from his face1 neck1 and hands4 ,every shade of blue1 and all moist1 could be seen upon his clothes1 the darker deposit upon his flesh4 8,who is he80 asked one4 8,at home10 said he1 laughing1 8they call me black ,dan2 here ,i appear as blue ,dan6--and trouble enough have ,i had to arrive among you2 but you see me as ,i am1 in a condition which1 if it does not entitle me to your approbation1 should at least secure for me your sympathy40 ,daniel suffered no disparagement by appearing before his grave seniors like a man who had been dyeing all his life4 ,he passed the dreaded ordeal with honour1 and the wits said that he had no reason to be discontented with the storm which blew him into a port where honour and welcome attended him2 at the same time they advised him not to stick to the colour1 and proposed to him a thesis1 which should have for its device1 8,nimium ne fide colori40 8,ne fide colori60 ,i hear re-echoed by my readers2 8#8,ne fide nimium patienti1' ,sirrah2 do not super-abuse our patience40 ,be it so1 ever-courteous ,public4 ,pauca verba1 as ,pistol has it1 is a good maxim1 particularly when one has nothing more to say4 ,i will conclude1 not only with the sentiment ,i promised1 but also with something more valuable1--a recipe to keep you from ever getting wet through4 ,a barrister was once bewailing to ,mr4 ,cresswell1 when the latter was also at the ,bar1 that on going down to ,salisbury1 outside the mail1 he had got his clothes completely wet through4 8,that calamity need never befall a man1 however exposed10 said ,mr4 ,cresswell4 8,why10 said the other1 8what is he to do80 8,do60 exclaimed the elder practitioner1 8why1 he has nothing in the world to do but to take off his clothes and sit upon them60 ,and now for the sentiment1 in which my readers will find a value greater than that which attaches to the recipe for keeping a suit dry4 ,hear what ,cowper says3-- 8,we sacrifice to dress1 till household joys ,and comforts cease4 ,dress drains our cellars dry1 ,and keeps our larder bare2 puts out our fires1 ,and introduces hunger1 frost1 and woe1 ,where peace and hospitality might reign40 ,well1 ,i will not moralize upon this truth4 ,i should become more unwelcome than ,joseph ,surface himself2 but ,i will say this1 that ,cowper's lines are as applicable now as they were of old1 and in that they are so do ,i distinguish the cause why on many careers joyously begun1 there descends so dismal and so dreary a ,,finis4 ,,john ,,edward ,,taylor1 ,,printer1 ,,little ,,queen ,,street1 ,,lincoln',s ,,inn ,,fields4 ,,new ,,and ,,cheap ,,publications4 ,the ,volumes now ,ready are3 ,i4 ,,sam ,,slick1 ,,the ,,clockmaker4 #a ,vol4 ,price #es4 ,,ii4 ,,sam ,,slick1 ,,the ,,attach4 #a ,vol4 ,price #es4 ,,iii4 ,,sam ,,slick',s ,,letter-,,bag ,,of ,,the ,,great ,,western4 #a ,vol4 ,price #bs4 #f;d4 ,,iv4 ,,captain ,,marryat',s ,,monsieur ,,violet4 #a ,vol4 ,price #cs4 #f;d4 ,v4 ,,captain ,,marryat',s ,,olla ,,podrida4 #a ,vol4 ,price #cs4 #f;d4 ,,vi4 ,,mrs4 ,,trollope',s ,,domestic ,,manners ,,of ,,america4 #a ,vol4 ,price #cs4 #f;d4 ,,vii4 ,,paddiana2 ,,or1 ,,irish ,,life4 #a ,vol4 ,price #cs4 #f;d4 ,,viii4 ,,salad ,,for ,,the ,,solitary4 ,by an ,,epicure4 #a ,vol4 ,price #cs4 #f;d4 ,,ix4 ,,robert ,,chambers',s ,,history ,,of ,,scotland4 #a ,vol4 ,price #cs4 #f;d4 ,x4 ,,smith',s ,,traditions ,,of ,,the ,,streets ,,of ,,london4 #a ,vol4 ,price #cs4 #f;d4 ,,xi4 ,,maxwell',s ,,wild ,,sports ,,of ,,the ,,west4 #a ,vol4 ,price #cs4 #f;d4 ,,xii4 ,,col4 ,,cunynghame',s ,,service ,,in ,,china4 #a ,vol4 ,price #es4 ,,xiii4 ,,fairholt',s ,,eccentric ,,characters4 #a ,vol4 ,price #bs4 #f;d4 ,,xiv4 ,,maxwell',s ,,czar1 ,,his ,,court1 ,,and ,,people4 #a ,vol4 ,price #bs4 #f;d4 ,,xv4 ,,memoirs ,,of ,,theodore ,,hook4 #a ,vol4 ,price #es4 ,,xvi4 ,,hon4 ,,mrs4 ,,norton',s ,,undying ,,one4 #a ,vol4 ,price #bs4 #f;d4 ,,xvii4 ,,chalmeriana2 ,,or1 ,,colloquies ,,with ,,dr4 ,,chalmers4 ,by ,j4 ,j4 ,,gurney4 #a ,vol4 ,price #bs4 #f;d4 ,,xviii4 ,,brace',s ,,home ,,life ,,in ,,germany4 #a ,vol4 ,price #es4 ,,xix4 ,,history ,,of ,,china4 #a ,vol4 ,price #es4 ,,xx4 ,,mrs4 ,,sinnett',s ,,byeways ,,of ,,history4 #a ,vol4 ,price #es4 ,,xxi4 ,,dr4 ,,doran',s ,,table ,,traits1 ,,with ,,something ,,on ,,them4 #a ,vol4 ,price #fs4 ,,xxii4 ,,radcliffe',s ,,fiends1 ,,ghosts1 ,,and ,,sprites4 #a ,vol4 ,price #cs4 #f;d4 ,,richard ,,bentley1 ,,new ,,burlington ,,street4