,,transcrib]',s ,,note ,! tables 9 ?is book are be/ view$ us+ a monospace font4 ,h[ to ,pick a ,mate ,,h[ ,,to ,,pick ,a ,,mate ,,! ,,guide ,,to ,a ,,happy ,,m>riage ,,by ,,dr4 ,,clif=d ,r4 ,,adams ,associate ,pr(essor ( ,psy*ology & ,director ( ! ,m>riage ,c\nsel+ ,s]vice1 ,p5nsylvania ,/ate ,college4 ,memb] ( ! ,am]ican ,association ( ,m>riage ,c\nselors4 ,director ( ! ,woman's ,home ,companion ,m>riage ,cl9ic4 ,,& ,,vance ,o4 ,,pack>d ,/aff ,writ]1 ,! ,am]ican ,magaz9e ,,new ,,york ,e4 ,p4 ,,dutton ,,company1 ,,inc4 #aidf ,copyright1 #aidf1 by ,e4 ,p4 ,dutton ,co41 ,inc4 ,all rights res]v$4 ,pr9t$ 9 ! ,u4,s4,a4 ,,fir/ ,,edition ,,no ,,"p ( ?is book may be reproduc$ 9 any =m )\t p]mission 9 writ+ f ! publi%]1 except by a review] :o wi%es to quote brief passages 9 connection ) a review writt5 = inclusion 9 magaz9e or newspap] or radio broadca/4 ,to ,,our ,,two ,,daught]s & ,,our ,,two ,,sons ,:o ,h ,yet to ,pick ,_! ,mates ,cont5ts ,,page ,,li/ ,,( ,,te/s #i ,,=eword #aa ,,*apt] ,i4 ,,:y ,,m>ry1 ,,anyh[8 #ae ,,ii4 ,,y\r ,,*ances ,,( ,,gett+ ,a ,,mate ,,y',,ll ,,l #bc ,,iii4 ,,are ,,y ,,ready ,,= ,,m>ri$ ,,love8 #ch ,,iv4 ,,is ,,x ,,love--,,or ,,infatuation8 #dg ,v4 ,,gr[+ ,,up ,,sexually #ee ,,vi4 ,,sex ,,adv5tur+ #fc ,,vii4 ,,d ,,y ,,fright5 ,,possible ,,mates ,,away8 #gd ,,viii4 ,,attract+ ,,! ,,"o ,,y ,,want #hc ,,ix4 ,,is ,,! ,,"o ,,y ,,want ,,! ,,"o ,,y ,,ne$8 #ia ,x4 ,,crucial ,,traits ,,= ,a ,,happy ,,m>riage #ih ,,xi4 ,,te/ ,,y\r ,,mate ,,& ,,y\rself #ajg ,,xii4 ,,n[1 ,,see ,,h[ ,,y ,,mat* ,,z ,a ,,c\ple6 #abd ,,xiii4 ,,bew>e ,,( ,,mix$ ,,m>riages #aci ,,xiv4 ,,n9e ,,dang]\s ,,*>act]s #adf ,,xv4 ,,p ,,:o ,,%\ld ,,n ,,m>ry ,,at ,,all #aef ,,xvi4 ,,w ,a ,,job ,,und]m9e ,,y\r ,,m>riage8 #afe ,,xvii4 ,,! ,,vet]an ,,z ,a ,,mate #agd ,,xviii4 ,,s ,,y ,,agree ,,to ,,m>ry3 ,,:at ,,next8 #ahc ,,xix4 ,,gett+ ,,ready ,,= ,,m>ri$ ,,intimacy #ahi ,,xx4 ,,gett+ ,,(f ,,to ,a ,,good ,,/>t #aie ,,aft] ,,?\ghts #bjd ,,app5dix ,a3 ,,select$ ,,bibliography #bjf ,,app5dix ,b3 ,,m>riage ,,c\nsel+ ,,ag5cies #baa ,,index #bac ,li/ ( ,te/s ,,*apt] ,,page ,,ii4 #a4 ,:at ,is ,y\r ,expectancy ( ,m>riage8 #ce ,,iii4 #b4 ,are ,y ,old ,en\gh to ,m>ry8 #dd ,,iii4 #c4 ,are ,y ,gr[n ,up ,emotionally8 #dd ,,iv4 #d4 ,are ,y ,really 9 ,love8 #eb ,,vi4 #e4 ,are ,y ,w>m or ,cool by ,nature8 #gb ,,vii4 #f4 ,d ,y ,h a ,negative or ,positive ,p]sonality8 #ha ,,viii4 #g4 ,:at ,traits to ,look = 9 ,mates 7*eck li/7 #hg ,x4 #h4 ,t5 ,basic ,backgr\nd ,que/ions #ajj ,,xi4 #i4 ,sociability #ajg ,,xi4 #aj4 ,con=mity #ajh ,,xi4 #aa4 ,tranquillity #aji ,,xi4 #ab4 ,dep5dability #aaj ,,xi4 #ac4 ,/ability #aaa ,,xi4 #ad4 ,/&>ds & ,ideals #aab ,,xi4 #ae4 ,/ead9ess #aac ,,xi4 #af4 ,flexibility #aad ,,xi4 #ag4 ,s]i\sness #aad ,,xi4 #ah4 ,family ,backgr\nd #aae ,,xi4 #ai4 ,pr$iction ( ,individual ,m>ital ,happ9ess 7,composite7 #aaf ,,xii4 #bj4 ,d ,y ,mat*8 #abg ,,xii4 #ba4 ,are ,y ,well ,mat$8 #acf ,,xiv4 #bb4 ,are ,y ,too ,jeal\s8 #aed ,,xv4 #bc4 ,is ! ,mate a ,neurotic8 #afc ,app5dix ,a4 ,books ,y ,may ,wi% to ,read #bjf ,app5dix ,b4 ,m>riage ,c\nsel+ ,ag5cies #baa ,=eword ,z f> z we "k ?is is ! fir/ "t anyone has writt5 a book attempt+ to put mate selection on a s5sible basis1 despite ! fact t soon] or lat] almo/ ev]ybody selects "o4 ,a good _m p res5t ! idea ( an outsid] tell+ !m h[ !y %\ld pick a mate4 ,!y ?9k x smacks ( m$dl+4 ,m>riage is some?+ sacr$ & p]sonal4 ,x %\ld n be done accord+ to rules4 ,we he>tily sympa?ize4 ,un=tunately1 h[ev]1 m>riages are n made 9 ,heav54 ,usually p m>ry by hun* or impulse 444 or because _! p>5ts ?9k x is a good mat* 444 or because !y get !mselves s deeply involv$ romantically t m>ry+ seems ! only prop] ?+ to d4 ,too frequ5tly su* me?ods m]ely mess up a c\ple ( p's lives4 ,m ?an a ?ird ( all ! millions ( m>riages und]tak5 9 ! la/ t5 ye>s are 9 tr\ble4 ,_m are already dissolv$4 ,_m m soon w be4 ,a great deal ( rese>* & c\nsel+ has n[ be5 done 9 ! field ( m>riage1 & ! f9d+s validat$4 ,at ,p5n ,/ate1 = example1 hundr$s ( c\ples :o 7 te/$ be=e m>riage at ! ,m>riage ,c\nsel+ ,s]vice are *eck$ p]iodically aft] m>riage to f9d h[ !y are mak+ out4 ,( all ! m>riages :i* ! s]vice pr$ict$ w\ld be successful1 n "o has yet end$ 9 divorce or sep>ation4 ,mo/ ( ! p :o w5t ahead despite ! cl9ic's cautions are already 9 s]i\s tr\ble or h be5 divorc$4 ,z a result ( _m su* inve/igations1 reliable in=mation is available on ! k9ds ( p :o make ! be/ mates1 & on ! causes ( m>riage success & failure4 ,9 ?is book we h tri$ to include ^? f9d+s :i* %\ld be mo/ helpful & int]e/+ to all p involv$ 9 love or m>riage--b p>ticul>ly to p :o soon] or lat] w be tak+ unto !mselves a mate4 ,x is n our int5tion to lay d[n a set ( rules = p to foll[4 ,b we hope t aft] read+ ?is book y w be m enlight5$ 9 y\r hun*es ?an y might be o!rwise1 & be a mu* happi] & m desirable mate y\rself6 ,h[ to ,pick a ,mate ,*apt] ,i ,:y ,m>ry1 ,anyh[8 ,mat+ is z old z ,eve4 ,9 fact x is ! olde/ & mo/ popul> cu/om ev] devis$ by mank9d4 ,ev5 9 ! mo/ isolat$ tribes t explor]s h uncov]$ on ?is globe adult males pair up ) females to live toge!r z man & wife4 ,9 _m areas ( ! _w1 x is true1 m>riages are /ill arrang$ by ! eld]s1 (t5 at a neat f9ancial pr(it to ! bride's p>5ts4 ,fre$om ( *oice 9 mat+ is a newfangl$ idea4 ,& 9 ,madagasc> ! groom is w>n$ at ! w$d+ t he c beat ! bride all he pleases1 b if he breaks any bones or g\ges any eyes %e has a p]fect "r to g home to "m4 ,yet ev5 !re mat+ is popul>4 ,?\gh m>riage is ! mo/ univ]sal in/itution kn[n to man increas+ numb]s ( ,am]icans are %unn+ x by divorce or o!rwise4 ,ab\t t5 p] c5t ( our m>riageable m5 h become unbudgeable ba*elors4 ,! numb] ( wom5 :o are *oos+ c>e]s to m>riage is so>+4 ,moreov] !re are #a1ejj1jjj m5 & wom5 9 ,am]ica :o tri$ m>riage & are n[ liv+ ap>t 9 divorce4 ,_m o!rs 7 divorc$1 !n rem>ri$4 ,?us 8,:y m>ry1 anyh[80 is today a fair "q4 ,s let's face "r at ! />t ! ma9 reasons :y p d n m>ry1 or /ay m>ri$4 ,_m p d n m>ry because !y don't reli% ! idea ( giv+ up _! fre$om1 _! indep5d5ce4 ,"s m5 d n l ! idea ( be+ 8saddl$0 ) family responsibilities & be+ 8ti$ d[n0 to "o woman4 ,likewise1 "s wom5 h become s accu/om$ to liv+ alone--& are s reluctant to give up c>e]s--t !y hesitate to give up _! indep5d5ce1 until x is too late4 ,_m o!r girls & m5 d n m>ry because !y are too p>ticul>4 ,(t5 !y h a 8phantasy ideal0 ( ! mate !y want & c't f9d su* an int]e/$ p>ty 9 real life4 ,girls = example (t5 sigh t !y want a man 8tall1 d>k & h&some--& gray+ at ! temples40 ,)\t realiz+ x at lea/ a qu>t] ( all girls ye>n = a man :o looks l _! own fa!r4 ,& a qu>t] ( ! m5 pick someone :o looks vaguely l _! own "m4 ,!re are /ill o!r p :o don't m>ry because !y lack a dec5t opportunity4 ,girls :o *oose nurs+ z a c>e]1 = example1 cut _! m>riage prospects at lea/ fifty p] c5t4 ,x is mu* ! same = libr>ians & social work]s4 ,9 fact a girl c r$uce h] *ances ( m>riage m]ely by go+ to a girls' college4 ,!n !re is a l>ge gr\p :o d n m>ry because !y h be5 disappo9t$ 9 love--p]haps an e>ly love affair end$ 9 disappo9tm5t or grief4 ,x produc$ a psy*ological sc> t prev5t$ ! p]son f a*iev+ happ9ess ?r\gh m>riage ) anyone else4 ,! dea? ( ,ann ,rutl$ge %ook ,abraham ,l9coln s pr(\ndly t ?\gh he f9ally m>ri$ ye>s lat]1 = appe>ances' sake1 he 0 a mis]able husb&4 ,a boy :o imag9es himself passionately 9 love & !n is jilt$ by a girl :o doesn't ev5 let him d[n g5tly may lose fai? & crawl into a psy*ological %ell 9 8 relations ) o!r wom54 ,"o college girl became enamor$1 dur+ h] sophomore ye>1 ( a prom95t man-ab\t-campus4 ,%e came f a f9e ,philadelphia family & 0 an attractive1 s9c]e girl4 ,b %e 0 v nave4 ,?is man began ru%+ h]4 ,he took h] to p>ties at 8 frat]nity1 took h] = sev]al moonlight rides 9 8 road/]1 & told h] %e 0 ! girl he _h always dream$ (4 ,)9 ?ree weeks %e _h lo/ h] virg9ity4 ,9 a few m weeks he _h lo/ int]e/ & 0 (f to make new conque/s1 & %e came to ! sick5+ realization t he _h m]ely be5 exploit+ h] love = physical pleasure4 ,disillusion$1 %e _h to *ange colleges to keep f fac+ h] fri5ds4 ,%e did n tell ?is /ory to ! c\nselors at ! ,p5n ,/ate ,m>riage ,c\nsel+ ,s]vice 78,compatibility ,cl9ic07 until two ye>s lat]4 ,dur+ ^? two ye>s %e _h be5 s cru%$ & full ( bitt]ness t %e _h n let ano!r man t\* or ev5 kiss h]4 ,occasionally m5 & wom5 d n m>ry because !y h family responsibilities--p]haps a wid[$ "m or y\ng] orphan$ bro!rs & si/]s--:i* make !m feel !y c't af=d1 or h no "r1 to take on a mate4 ,/ill o!rs h physical h&icaps4 ,!re are "s h&icaps1 ( c\rse1 t are sev]e en\gh to be a real h&icap1 l ! loss ( bo? arms1 b m (t5 ! h&icaps are n s]i\s 9 !mselves4 ,!y are s]i\s because ! possessor magnifies !m 9 8 m9d & beg9s feel+ inadequate & inf]ior4 ,! same applies to a p]son :o ?9ks he is ugly4 ,irregul> facial features 9 !mselves are nev] a s]i\s h&icap if _! possessor has self-confid5ce & a pleasant p]sonality4 ,! ma9 reason :y p d n m>ry1 h[ev]1 is t !y h an unheal?y attitude :i* makes x virtually impossible = !m to adju/ !mselves happily to ?\ghts ( m>riage4 ,!y are full ( fe>s ab\t ! obligations t m>riage may br+4 ,"s are too selfi% or too egoc5tric to be able to compromise2 & 9 m>riage z 9 any p>tn]%ip ! p>tn]s mu/ be able to sacrifice _! private desires = ! common cause4 ,m>riage is no place = prima donnas4 ,o!r poorly adju/$ p]sons are incapable ( accept+ ! _m responsibilities t g ) m>riage4 ,p]haps _! "m or fa!r ti$ !m d[n s closely z a *ild t !y nev] _h a *ance to develop _! own feel+ ( self-suffici5cy & indep5d5ce4 ,!re are p>5ts :o _c turn _! *ildr5 loose4 ,!y object to dat+ until ! y\ng/]s h become s old t le>n+ to get along ) ! o!r sex is difficult4 ,su* *ildr5 h a fixation = ! p>5ts & _c see ano!r p]son ent]+ ! picture z a possible sub/itute or replacem5t4 ,?is is call$ ! ,o$ipus complex & x is no bogey dream$ up by psy*ologi/s4 ,a boy may n m>ry because he is /ill jeal\sly 9 8love0 ) 8 own "m4 ,a girl may n m>ry because %e is 9 8love0 ) h] fa!r4 ,?is k9d ( fixation is made m acute :5 ! p>5t is selfi% or lonely & builds a network ar\nd ! *ild :i* makes escape impossible4 ,!re are "s p :o are suspici\s or jeal\s by nature4 ,_! emotional in/ability usually fright5s away prospective mates4 ,_m o!r p1 p>ticul>ly girls1 h an unheal?y attitude t[>d m>riage because !y are fright5$ by ! physical intimacies t g ) m>riage4 ,a #bi-ye>-old wife :o _h be5 m>ri$ f\r ye>s confess$ rec5tly t %e dread$ ! ?\ght ( physical intimacy ) h] husb&4 ,%e _h mov$ to ano!r room & 0 9 a rebelli\s mood4 ,?is wife unconsci\sly reveal$ a clue to h] coldness :5 %e relat$ rem>ks h] "m _h made to h] dur+ girlhood4 ,! "m _h talk$ ( h] own agonies dur+ ! girl's bir? & _h told h[ ! process _h injur$ h] int]nally4 ,! "m _h talk$ ( physical intimacy z "o ( ! burd5s a wife has to be>4 ,"o night1 :5 ! girl _h be5 ?us condition$1 a date /opp$ 8 c> on a side road & tri$ to c>ess h]4 ,%e 0 t]rifi$4 ,n[1 twelve ye>s lat] & =mally m>ri$1 %e 0 /ill on gu>d4 ,! w> gave _m "y p an unheal?y attitude t[>d m>riage4 ,a desire = a 8la/ fl+0 impell$ _m ( !m to promiscu\s behavior t has left !m ) psy*ological sc>s4 ,"s m5 saw s _m 8loose0 wom5 ne> _! /ations & emb>kation ports 7& frequ5tly _h affairs !mselves ) su* wom57 t _! attitude t[>d all wom5 0 *eap5$4 ,o!r "y p--bo? male & female--7 sep>at$ s long f contact ) ! opposite sex t !y develop$--or fe>$ !y _h develop$--unnatural feel+s t[>d memb]s ( ! same sex2 or ?\ght !y lo/ ! knack ( mak+ !mselves seem attractive to girls or m51 :i*ev] ! opposite may be4 ,a good _m vet]ans saw s mu* ( w> & its de/ruction t !y became cynical ( human life & pessimi/ic ab\t ! future4 ,?is put !m 9 an extremely poor mood to ?9k ( mat+4 ,yet to millions ( o!r vet]ans w> made m>riage seem t]ribly attractive4 ,aft] lead+ a %ift+ exi/5ce :]e no?+ seem$ real or p]man5t1 ! la/+1 un*ang+ ?+s 9 life appe>$ m significant ?an ev] be=e4 ,m>riage1 ideally1 is "o ( ! mo/ p]man5t ?+s 9 life4 ,x gives a p]son a *ance to s9k roots4 ,?is br+s u to ! o!r side ( ! picture3 :y p d m>ry4 ,!re are ?irty million m>ri$ c\ples 9 ,am]ica today1 & !y didn't get m>ri$ j because x is ! cu/om>y ?+ to d4 ,m>riage mu/ h some?+ to (f]4 ,if y d\bt x consid] ^! facts3 --,m>ri$ p normally live long] ?an s+le p4 ,accord+ to ! ,metropolitan ,life ,insurance ,company report ( #aicg1 twice z _m s+le m5 f ?irty to =ty-five die z m>ri$ m5 9 ! same age bracket4 ,= wom5 betwe5 ?irty & sixty-five ! m>ri$ wom5 h a t5 p] c5t advantage ov] ! s+le wom54 ,twice z _m wid[]s die z d m5 :o rema9 m>ri$4 --,few] m>ri$ p g to jail ?an s+le p4 --,few] g crazy4 --,few] commit suicide4 ,^! facts w\ld c]ta9ly indicate t m>ri$ p are happi]1 bett] adju/$ p]sons ?an unm>ri$ p]sons1 despite all ! tales ab\t h5peck$ husb&s & br[beat5 wives4 ,!n !re are "s v practical1 h>d-boil$ reasons :y x pays to m>ry4 ,= "o ?+ x is *eap] = two p to live toge!r ?an to live sep>ately4 ,x co/s only two-?irds z mu*4 ,by m>ry+1 a man becomes a bett] employm5t risk4 ,m>ri$ m5 usually are reg>d$ z m /eady1 m tru/wor?y employees ?an s+le m54 ,?is is logical4 ,m>riage ex]ts a /abiliz+ influ5ce on mo/ m54 ,an employ] c assume t s9ce a m>ri$ man has tak5 on ! responsibilities ( a family he is a bett] risk ?an a man :o has %[n no ability to assume responsibilities4 ,ano!r po9t is t ! m>ri$ man is less apt to leave a good job ?an a s+le man4 ,fur!rmore a m>ri$ p]son is reg>d$ m favorably socially ?an a ba*elor or sp9/]4 ,?is is n j a 8gang+ up0 ( sp\ses aga9/ anyone n simil>ly c\pl$1 ?\gh t may be a factor4 ,x's a fact t !re is a great] feel+ ( belong+ness to ! community = ! m>ri$ p]son ?an = ! ba*elor or sp9/]4 ,a m>ri$ man is bett] able to ent]ta9 acqua9tances 9 8 own home4 ,& "r or wrong mo/ p feel !re is some?+ a bit unnatural ab\t an adult rema9+ unm>ri$4 ,psy*iatri/s agree t except 9 exceptional cases wom5 :o live alone w become neurotic & fru/rat$4 ,liv+ alone is an abnormal /ate = a woman4 7,%e ov]comes ?is haz>d only by accept+ h] fate reali/ically & sett+ out intellig5tly to f9d enri*m5t & satisfaction 9 life47 ,m>ri$ p are less lonely ?an s+le p because !y h someone ) :om to %>e life's dull z well z excit+ mom5ts & to %>e _! problems & hopes & ambitions4 ,also m>ri$ c\ples :o raise families frequ5tly h an insurance aga9/ old age--! k t 9 _! gr[+ *ildr5 !re w be someone to take c>e ( !m if necess>y4 ,life is also m com=table if y are m>ri$ ?an if s+le1 at lea/ = a man4 ,x provides him ) home cook+ 9 8 own home & someone to keep 8 socks 9 ord]4 ,a basic argum5t = m>riage is t x (f]s a logical division ( labor4 ,imag9e h[ mu* m complicat$ & inconv5i5t life w\ld be if m5 _h to d _! own cook+ & sew+1 & wom5--all wom5--_h to compete ) m5 = a livelihood6 ,f9ally m>riage (f]s a legaliz$ way to a*ieve sexual satisfaction4 ,m5 & wom5 c receive relief f _! bodily t5sions )\t ! t]rible feel+s ( guilt1 anxiety & remorse t (t5 accompany unm>ri$ love4 ,t's some?+4 ,mod]n psy*ology recognizes t sexual satisfaction is m ?an a physiological process ( reproduc+ "o's k9d4 ,x is a psy*ologically satisfy+ activity & releases _m n]v\s t5sions z well z t5sions br\ght ab\t by hormonal or gl&ul> ne$s4 ,^? !n are ! obvi\s1 practical reasons :y m>riage is s univ]sally popul>4 ,b beyond ^? are "s important b less und]/ood crav+s :i* m>riage satisfies4 --,beyond ! desire = sex satisfaction1 = example1 is ! ye>n+ ( bo? m5 & wom5 to %>e ! love & affection ( somebody ( ! opposite sex1 someone :o takes a g5u9e int]e/ 9 !m4 ,?is sometimes is call$ a ne$ = sexually color$ companion%ip4 ,?is is :y m>ri$ p don't feel ! ne$ to run ar\nd to %[s & p>ties ! way s+le p d4 ,!y h _! own companion%ip )9 ! family4 ,m>k ,twa91 9 8 amus+ 8,extracts f ,adam's ,di>y0 %[$ ! bond creat$ by su* companion%ip :5 he quot$ ,adam z rem9isc+3 8,at fir/ ,i ?\ght ,eve talk$ too mu* b 444 aft] all ^! ye>s ,i see t ,i 0 mi/ak5 ab\t ,eve 9 ! beg9n+4 ,x is bett] to live outside ! ,g>d5 ) h] ?an inside x )\t h]4444 ,:]esoev] %e is1 !re is ,ed540 --,a desire = ma/]y on ! "p ( mo/ m5 & a desire to be l$ on ! "p ( mo/ wom5 is ano!r psy*ological motive t is satisfi$ by m>riage4 ,x is ! ?rill ( ma/]y t causes a y\? to c>e5 dang]\sly d[n ! highway at eighty miles an h\r or to ride a horse at a break-neck gallop4 --,!re is a desire = pride t is satisfi$ by say+ 8my husb&10 or 8my wife10 or 8my olde/ kid40 --,!re is a desire = security1 a ne$ bo? real & psy*ological1 t afflicts all ( u4 ,we all l to "k t !re is someone :o w look aft] u :5 we are sick1 someone to com=t u :5 we are griev$1 someone to help u :5 we are we>y4 ,wom5 p>ticul>ly feel ?is ne$ = security4 ,9 fact "s obs]v]s :o "w a great deal 9 te/+ ! reactions ( wom5 to ! problems ( life say t 9 wom5 ?is ye>n+ = security ov]%ad[s ev]y?+ else4 ,wom5 feel ! ne$ = security s mu* m ke5ly because1 if no?+ else1 !y are ! 8weak]0 sex4 ,!y are m dep5d5t on m5 = _! livelihood4 ,our return+ vet]ans feel an int5se ne$ = ano!r k9d ( security :i* m>riage c give4 ,aft] ye>s ( unc]ta9ty1 %ift+1 & te>+ d[n ( life & prop]ty !y desp]ately want to get a hold on some?+ p]man5t1 & to _m ( !m m>riage looks l ! v be/ way to d x4 --,= mu* ! same reasons vet]ans want to raise families4 ,aft] s mu* de/ruction !y want to build1 !y want to create life1 life be>+ _! own lik5ess1 life t w cont9ue aft] !y are gone4 ,wat*+ & guid+ "o's own *ildr5 :ile !y gr[ up is "o ( ! greate/ pleasures ( m>riage4 ,a c\ple :o delib]ately ab/a9s f hav+ *ildr5 is a selfi% c\ple4 ,surveys %[ !y mo/ly d x out ( selfi%ness1 ! desire ( ! wife = a c>e] or 8dislike = *ildr540 ,^! reasons are ^? we w\ld expect f maladju/$ p4 ,c]ta9ly by volunt>ily rema9+ *ildless !y miss "o ( ! greate/ *ances to a*ieve a happy m>riage4 ,by a*iev+ a happy m>riage & hav+ *ildr5 _m p make up = ! fru/rations & disappo9tm5ts !y h receiv$ f life1 _! dissatisfaction ) _! job & _! own *ildhood4 ,*ildr5 br+ !m comp5sation = _! own failures4 --,f9ally1 m>riage enables two p to "w toge!r 9 sett+ up common goals &--by dream+1 plann+1 /ruggl+--to a*ieve ^? goals4 ,p]haps ! goal is to build a home or take a vacation trip to ,s\? ,am]ica toge!r or to put a son ?r\gh college4 ,! specific goals are n important4 ,! enri*m5t comes f ! two p's m]g+ _! hopes & ef=ts t[>d "o mutually-desir$ goal4 ,gett+ m>ri$ is "o ( ! bigge/ /eps a p]son takes 9 life4 ,9 fact1 = mo/ p life boils d[n to cop+ ) ?ree big problems3 --,le>n+ to get along ) p4 --,*oos+ a c>e] & succe$+ 9 x4 --,pick+ a mate & liv+ happily !reaft]4 ,! ?ree are int]dep5d5t4 ,m>riage c\nselors h notic$ ! significant fact t ! individual :o makes fri5ds readily1 :o likes 8 "w & is successful 9 x1 is also ! p]son :o t5ds to *oose an excell5t mate = himself & "w out ) t mate a happy m>riage4 ,*apt] ,,ii ,y\r ,*ances ( ,gett+ a ,mate ,y'll ,l ,fir/1 y might ask1 :at are y\r *ances ( gett+ a mate ( any k9d8 ,if y are a man1 & are int]e/$1 y c be almo/ "o hundr$ p] c5t c]ta9 y w m>ry4 ,m ?an t5 p] c5t ( ! eligible m5 today won't m>ry1 b t w l>gely be due to ! fact t !y pref] to rema9 ba*elors4 ,if y are a girl ! *ances t y w m>ry are n q z good4 ,at ! />t ( ! w> ab\t ?irte5 p] c5t ( ! girls 7 fail+ to m>ry4 ,! prospect n[ is t = sev]al ye>s aft] ! w> ab\t f\rte5 or fifte5 p] c5t w fail4 ,x w be a good m>ket = m54 ,girls 9 "s age brackets w be hit h>d] ?an o!rs1 & we sympa?ize ) ! girls pa/ tw5ty-five :o feel !y 7 pass+ ! peak ( ! eligibility curve = m>riage :ile _m ( ! be/ male prospects 7 /ill away 9 ! arm$ =ces4 ,^! girls h cause = conc]n4 ,! surplus ( gr[n wom5 ov] m5--:i* is some?+ new 9 our population--has be5 increas$ by w> casualties4 ,& ! numb] ( m5 :o pref] ba*elorhood is apt to increase f t5 p] c5t at pres5t to p]haps fifte5 p] c5t because ! old] a s+le man becomes ! less he ?9ks ab\t m>riage4 ,?is w> has creat$ a great _m 8old0 s+le m54 ,x is e/imat$ t betwe5 two million & five million ( ! m>riageable wom5 9 ,am]ica today w nev] m>ry4 ,sociologi/s are already worry+ ab\t ?is 8lo/ g5]ation0 ( our wom5 betwe5 tw5ty & ?irty-five1 ) ^? 9 _! late tw5ties presumably hit ! h>de/4 ,y may ask :5 a girl rea*es ! peak ( h] eligibility = m>riage4 ,9 normal ye>s ! peak is betwe5 n9ete5 & tw5ty-"o1 & ! curve decl9es m>k$ly aft] ! tw5ty-fif? bir?day4 ,"h are ! *ances = m5 & wom5 to m>ry by c]ta9 ages3 ,,*ances ,,( ,,:ite ,,males ,,& ,,:ite ,,females ,,be+ ,,m>ri$ ,,by ,,v>i\s ,,ages 7#aidj ,,c5sus7 ,,*ances ,,( ,,*ances ,,( ,,*ances ,,( ,,m>ry+ ,,at ,,"s ,,by ,,age ,,be+ ,,m>ri$ ,,be+ ,,m>ri$ ,,p>ticul> ,,ye> ,,( ,,age ---------------------------------------- ------------------------- ,m5 ,wom5 ,m5 ,wom5 #ad #a 9 #ajjj #c 9 #ajjj #a 9 #ajjj #c 9 #ajjj #ae #b 0 #ab 0 #a 0 #i 0 #af #c 0 #ci 0 #a 0 #bg 0 #ag #g 0 #ij 0 #d 0 #ea 0 #ah #ba 0 #agg 0 #ad 0 #hg 0 #ai #ed 0 #bgj 0 #cc 0 #ic 0 #bj #aji 0 #cgb 0 #ee 0 #ajb 0 #ba #aij 0 #def 0 #ha 0 #hd 0 #bb #bgb 0 #ech 0 #hb 0 #hb 0 #bc #cga 0 #fac 0 #ii 0 #ge 0 #bd #deg 0 #fga 0 #hf 0 #eh 0 #be #eca 0 #gad 0 #gd 0 #dc 0 #bf #eib 0 #gdi 0 #fa 0 #ce 0 #bg #fej 0 #ghj 0 #eh 0 #ca 0 #bh #fid 0 #gii 0 #dd 0 #ai 0 #bi #gch 0 #hbc 0 #dd 0 #bd 0 #cj #gdh 0 #hbb 0 #aj 0 #a 0 #ca #gij 0 #hec 0 #db 0 #cj 0 #cb #gia 0 #hec 0 #a 0 #a 0 #cc #had 0 #hgj 0 #bc 0 #ag 0 #cd #hbh 0 #hgd 0 #ad 0 #d 0 ---------------------------------------- ------------------------- ,! odds = m5 %[ t only ab\t "o 9 t5 m>ries be=e he is tw5ty-"o2 "o 9 ?ree m>ry at ages tw5ty-"o to tw5ty-five2 ab\t ?ree to t5 m>ry betwe5 tw5ty-five & ?irty1 & ab\t "o 9 t5 m>ries betwe5 ?irty & ?irty-five4 ,a factor unfavorable to ! old] girls1 pa/ tw5ty-five1 is t z m5 become old] !y t5d to m>ry increas+ly y\ng] girls4 ,normally1 = example1 a man ( tw5ty-five w m>ry a girl ( tw5ty-two1 :]eas a man ( ?irty-"o w probably m>ry a girl ( tw5ty-five4 ,t's :y girls 9 ! pres5t tw5ty-five to ?irty-five gr\p may be h>de/ hit by ! w>4 ,"o enc\rag+ possibility1 h[ev]1 is t vet]ans are look+ = m wisdom & maturity 9 _! brides ?an civilians ( ! same age usually d4 ,!re h be5 a good _m reports ( vet]ans m>ry+ girls five & t5 ye>s _! s5ior4 ,ideali/ically1 ! be/ age = a girl to m>ry is f tw5ty-"o to tw5ty-sev51 & = a man f tw5ty-five to ?irty4 ,( all wom5 :o d m>ry1 ab\t fifty-six p] c5t are m>ri$ by _! tw5ty-fif? bir?day1 ab\t eighty-f\r p] c5t by _! ?irtie? bir?day & ab\t n9ety-five p] c5t by _! ?irty-fif? bir?day4 ,aft] ?irty-five a woman has to get busy if %e wants to m>ry6 ,?irty-five is :5 an unm>ri$ woman c no long] consid] h]self a 8"y maid40 ,! m>riage prospects = girls today w\ld n be q s unfavorable if our m5 w\ld all seek mates4 ,z x is1 ) f t5 to fifte5 p] c5t pref]r+ to rema9 s+le1 at lea/ a million girls w n h an opportunity to m>ry4 ,z f> z we c ga!r ! reason beh9d ?is mascul9e p]v]sity is t boys1 unlike girls1 are n indoctr9at$ ) ! idea t m>riage %\ld be "o ( _! big goals 9 life4 ,b :y1 y may ask1 are !re m eligible girls ?an m5 9 ,am]ica8 ,! imbalance caus$ by ! w> is n ! only reason4 ,"h are "s o!r reasons = ! %ortage ( males t looms3 --,m5 die y\ng] ?an wom54 ,! 8weak] sex0 is actually ! t\gh] sex :5 x comes to rea*+ a ripe old age4 --,our male surplus ( immigrants has be5 ab\t us$ up4 ,immigration is a =m ( pione]+ & has be5 consid]$ prim>ily a task ( man4 ,:5 ! fl[ ( immigrants 0 heavy x acc\nt$ = _m ?\s&s ( our male surplus4 ,n[ ! fl[ has dw9dl$ to a trickle4 --,am]ica is no long] a 8"y0 nation4 ,& ( c\rse ! old] our population becomes1 ! m fem99e x becomes = ! reasons m5tion$ above4 ,!re are /ill m boy babies born 9 ,am]ica ?an girl babies 7ab\t #aje boys p] hundr$ girls7 b because ! males die fa/]--bo? by natural causes & by accid5ts--! males slip into ! m9ority n[ aft] ! age ( tw5ty-five4 ,w> affects m>riage 9 v peculi> ways4 ,dur+ ! initial phase ( ,_w ,w> ,,ii1 m>riages increas$ at a spectacul> rate4 ,?is probably 0 due to ! increas+ prosp]ity 7prosp]ity increases bo? m>riages & divorces67 & by ! psy*ological inc5tives to mate z a result ( w>4 ,^! include n only ! impulses to elude ! draft1 b ! ye>n+ ( a boy to keep "s visible contact ) home & ! ye>n+ ( ! girl to h "s concrete commitm5t f a man :5 s _m ( !m 7 leav+ ! community to g to w>4 ,by #aidb1 #a1hjj1jjj m>riages took place 9 ! c\ntry1 ! highe/ numb] 9 hi/ory4 ,!n ! rate />t$ dropp+ (f z m5 became m sc>ce1 s t by #aidd ! numb] ( m>riages 0 only #a1ddj1jjj4 ,9 #aide ! tr5d 0 *ang+4 ,judg+ f ev5ts aft] ,_w ,w> ,i1 ! po/w> ye>s w see a spurt 9 m>riages t may take ! rate to ne>ly two million a ye> = a c\ple ( ye>s4 ,b t won't *ange ! fact t a good _m girls /ill w n h a *ance to m>ry4 ,b ev5 if y d m>ry1 :at are ! *ances y w get a mate y l8 ,! answ] dep5ds a great deal on :o y are4 ,we c assure y t su* mates w n come automatically4 ,"r n[ !re are at lea/ a million m>ri$ c\ples :o are wait+ to get a divorce4 ,millions ( o!r c\ples tol]ate ea* o!r b are n happy by any /&>ds we c\ld apply to !m4 ,_m ( ! unsuccessful mat*es 7 8w> m>riages0 ha/ily made4 ,a /udy made aft] ! fir/ w>1 ( m>riages ha/ily contract$ f #aiaf to #aibj %[ t ^? m>riages 7 less happy = bo? m5 & wom5 ?an ^? contract$ be=e ! w>4 ,ano!r /udy %[$ t ! m>riages und]tak5 imm$iately aft] m5 came back f ,_w ,w> ,i 7 n--on an av]age--z happy z !y w\ld h be5 normally4 ,! same w be true = _m ( ! hurri$ly contract$ m>riages 9 #aidf & #aidg4 ,^! /udies sub/antiate ! fact t mu* great] likelihood ( mismat+ exi/s :5 m>riages are ha/ily contract$1 & especially :5 contract$ at a "t ( high emotional excitem5t4 ,z ?is book is writt5 "o m>riage 9 five is end+ 9 divorce--& z we get fur!r into ! po/w> ye>s ! rate w probably rise to at lea/ "o failure 9 e f\r m>riages4 ,fur!rmore1 if ! long-range tr5ds cont9ue ! divorce rate w be "o divorce = e two m>riages by #aige6 ,hollywood />s1 & physicians 9 "s /ates1 are already close to t rate4 ,t's pretty depress+ to contemplate :5 y consid] t fifte5 ye>s ago ! rate 0 "o failure 9 f\rte5 m>riages4 ,p]haps ! "o enc\rag+ aspect ( ! gr[+ male %ortage is t x may sl[ d[n ! divorce rate4 ,divorces occur mo/ frequ5tly :5 m5 are pl5tiful4 ,:5 m5 are sc>ce wom5 t5d to hang on to :at !y h & ne$ to be provok$ be=e !y w fly (f to ,r5o4 ,:y is ! divorce rate ris+ at su* an om9\s rate8 ,admitt$ly !re are deep] reasons ?an ! w> = ! tr5d4 ,civilization1 9 becom+ m complex1 puts great] /ra9s & /resses on m>riage4 ,unhappy m>ri$ c\ples are n held toge!r z mu* z !y us$ to be by fe>s inspir$ by hell-&-damnation religion4 ,our movies & soap op]as pres5t m>riage 9 a fanta/ically unreal light4 ,f9ally1 x seems t our /&>ds = m>riage happ9ess are n[ s l[ t p assume a c\ple is happy z long z ! husb& doesn't beat 8 wife op5ly4 ,y may be int]e/$ to "k t all ! tr5ds indicate t m divorc$ m5 rem>ry ?an d divorc$ wom54 ,9 spite ( ! fact t ea* divorce sep>ates a c\ple1 9 #aidj !re 7 twice z _m fem99e divorcees :o _h n rem>ri$ z !re 7 unm>ri$ male divorces4 ,! records also disclose ! int]e/+ fact t only ab\t t5 p] c5t ( ! wom5 gett+ divorces ask alimony1 & t only six p] c5t get x4 ,y\r *ances ( gett+ a mate y w l are ev5 affect$ by y\r sex4 ,if y are a girl y\r *ances are n z good z if y 7 a man4 ,?is is l>gely due to ! fact t a girl _c gracefully take ! initiative 9 /alk+ a mate :o looks attractive to h]4 ,wom5 enjoy be+ pursu$1 b m5 /ill don't6 ,!y don't want any?+ t seems too easy to w94 ,if ! woman takes ! initiative--at lea/ if %e takes x conspicu\sly--! _w w ?9k h] aggressive1 & unladylike4 ,%e w be ?\ght 8common10 = in/ance1 if %e goes to ! phone & asks a boy = a date or if %e proposes m>riage4 ,despite ! progress ( fem99e emancipation dur+ ?is c5tury1 & especially dur+ ,_w ,w> ,,ii1 ?is is /ill a man's _w4 ,& probably fem9ism w be on ! def5sive aft] ! w> :5 ! vet]ans return & _m ( ! wom5 w be expect$ to retire gracefully to ! kit*5s4 ,at any rate1 our pres5t moral /&>ds app>5tly make x mu* m difficult = a girl to w9 "s possible mate :o int]e/s h] ?an x is = a man4 ,few ( our y\ng] p realize x b !re are also a ho/ ( o!r factors t (t5 limit ! numb] ( acceptable mates !y are able to *oose f4 ,m>riage c\nselors use ! phrase 8assortative mat+0 to describe ! way two p ( ! opposite sex pair up on ! basis ( be+ pretty mu* l ea* o!r & liv+ 9 mu* ! same neighborhood4 ,! t]m 0 fir/ us$ to describe ! way animals mate on ! basis ( simil> size & color4 ,today's m5 & girls (t5 set up crit]ia 9 select+ a mate t n>r[ _! possible *oices m ?an !y realize4 ,a man (t5 has "s pretty specific ideas on ! k9d ( girl he wants to m>ry1 & ! girl has simil> ideas ab\t h] husb&-to-be4 ,! *ances ( a p]son gett+ a mate he w l becomes less & less z he raises 8 qualifications4 ,9 ! e>ly days ( ,am]ican life1 :5 civilization 0 mu* simpl] ?an x is today--& :5 p diff]$ less 9 _! social & economic /atus--a girl or man usually c\ld f9d among five acqua9tances someone suitable = m>riage4 ,! situation is decid$ly diff]5t today4 ,"o au?ority 9 ?is field e/imates t a girl1 = example1 ne$s to "k tw5ty or tw5ty-five "y m5 9 ord] t %e may h suffici5t range to f9d someone eligible = h] ne$s4 ,let's look at "s ( ! little-consid]$ factors t limit y\r *oice4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,h[ ,,old ,,mu/ ,,y\r ,,mate ,,be8 ,_m p :o are look+ = a mate ?9k x is bad = ! bride to be old] ?an ! groom4 ,! girl is especially s5sitive ab\t ?is because %e feels %e may be los+ pre/ige4 ,actually su* m>riages usually turn out to be happi] ?an av]age because ! girl is usually m eag] to prove h]self a good wife & is less apt to be a cl++ v9e2 b t doesn't *ange ! fact t "s p /ill fr[n on su* m>riages4 ,society also fr[ns on mat*es :]e !re is a great diff]5ce 9 age4 ,= example m>riages :]e ! man is t5 ye>s old] are view$ ) al>m4 ,= reasons n too well und]/ood1 m>riages 9 :i* ! husb& is f f\r to sev5 ye>s old] ?an 8 bride are less happy ?an ^? involv+ any o!r age diff]5ces4 ,h[ev]1 if ! man is eight or m ye>s old]1 no special h&icap seems to be involv$4 ,tak5 z a :ole ! happie/--& mo/ socially approv$--m>riages are ^? 9 :i* ! man is "o to two ye>s old]4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,h[ ,,educat$ ,,mu/ ,,y\r ,,mate ,,be8 ,all ! /udies t h be5 made ( m>riage %[ t z "o's educational level rises1 an individual t5ds m & m to make a rational--& less emotional--*oice ( a mate4 ,! educat$ man has a great] range ( *oice ?an ! educat$ woman1 because he is mu* m will+ to m>ry "u 8 educational level :]eas a woman--aga9 = reasons ( pre/ige--is usually reluctant to d s4 ,if %e goes to college1 %e feels %e has no *oice b to re/rict h] selection to college m54 ,by s conf9+ h]self & by lead+ a m cloi/]$ life ?an h] c\s9 :o nev] w5t pa/ high s*ool1 a college girl def9itely r$uces h] *ances ( m>ry+4 ,:]eas 9 ! pa/ ne>ly n9ety p] c5t ( our wom5 h m>ri$1 x is e/imat$ t only ab\t sev5ty-five p] c5t ( college wom5 h m>ri$6 99 99 99 99 99 ,,h[ ,,mu* ,,money ,,mu/ ,,y\r ,,mate ,,h8 ,if y h money y\rself or h x 9 y\r family y are m apt to make a h>d-head$ *oice = a mate ?an "o :o has little money4 ,he w m>ry m spontane\sly4 ,if y ?9k back y may rememb] t dur+ ! depression ( #aibi-cc p ( high economic /atus po/pon$ m>ry+ until m /able times :]eas ! p ) small incomes w5t "r on m>ry+1 if !y c\ld possibly manage x4 ,g5]ally p t5d to m>ry pretty mu* into _! own economic class4 ,! girl :o 0 rais$ 9 ! poor section ( t[n & is n[ work+ z a sales cl]k 9 a five-&-t5 /ore may ye>n to m>ry a sophi/icat$ man f a weal?y family1 b t is n ! k9d ( mate %e ne$s4 ,x is d\btful t %e c\ld be happy ) him because _! diff]5ces are too great4 ,!re are exceptions1 ( c\rse4 ,occasionally we all read ab\t1 & *e]1 a news report ( a mod]n ,c9d]ella b we usually fr[n :5 we read ( ! opposite3 ( a ri* girl m>ry+ a poor man4 ,t someh[ seems abnormal to u4 ,! girl may lose ca/e4 ,a man ( mod]ate means :o himself m>ri$ a debutante express$ 8 views on su* arrangem5ts h[ev] :5 he said to u3 8,nev] m>ry = money4 ,b x's j z easy to fall 9 love ) a ri* girl60 99 99 99 99 99 ,,h[ ,,ab\t ,,! ,,mate',s ,,national ,,backgr\nd ,,& ,,religion8 ,are y an ,am]ican ( ,italian extraction :o w\ld n consid] m>ry+ a girl ( ,sw$i% backgr\nd8 ,or are y a ,ca?olic :o w\ld n ?9k ( m>ry+ anyone b ano!r ,ca?olic8 ,y may h good reasons = y\r exclusiv5ess b ! fact rema9s t y\r field has be5 n>r[$4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,h[ ,,is ,,y\r ,,job ,,affect+ ,,y\r ,,prospects8 ,p t5d to m>ry mates :o live conv5i5tly ne> & :o h simil> int]e/s4 7,ab\t a fif? ( all m>ri$ c\ples meet ea* o!r at "w47 ,a s*ool tea*]1 = example1 is mu* m likely to "k s*ool tea*]s ( ! opposite sex ?an to "k physicians ( ! opposite sex4 ,yet _m occupations are su* t f> m ( "o sex ent] !m ?an is true ( ! o!r4 ,= example1 !re are normally ne>ly five wom5 tea*]s to "o man tea*]2 sev5 or eight fem99e libr>ians to "o male libr>ian2 "s tw5ty-five or ?irty wom5 9 nurs+ to ea* man 9 some:at simil> "w4 ,is x any wond] t ! rate ( m>riage among s*ool tea*]s1 libr>ians & among nurses is mu* l[] ?an av]age8 ,girls :o *oose nurs+ = a c>e] cut _! m>riage prospects by at lea/ #ej p]c5t4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,f9ally1 ,,h[ ,,is ,,geography ,,affect+ ,,y\r ,,prospects ,,= ,,mates8 ,?\gh ! conditions ( ,_w ,w> ,,ii broad5$ ! matrimonial horizon ( _m m5 & girls z !y mov$ ab\t ! c\ntry ! fact rema9s t location is an important factor 9 conf9+ ! *oice ( millions ( p4 ,9 a /udy ( sev]al ?\s& m>riages 9 ,philadelphia x 0 discov]$ t f\r out ( five "y p !re select$ _! mates f )9 _! own city4 ,9 "o out ( ?ree ( ! m>riages ! c\ple _h liv$ )9 five blocks ( ea* o!r be=e m>riage4 ,look+ at ! c\ntry z a :ole1 "s t[ns & sections (f] bett] m>riage prospects ?an o!rs4 ,?is is a little kn[n fact4 ,= example1 ! cities ( ,new ,engl& (f] ! poore/ possibilities = "y wom5 to m>ry ( any section ( ! c\ntry4 ,?is is ma9ly because ! textile indu/ries 9 t area attract s _m m wom5 ?an m54 ,( ! ?irty ,unit$ ,/ates cities (f]+ ! poore/ opportunities = m>riage = wom51 tw5ty-two are 9 ,new ,engl&4 ,& ( ! ?irty (f]+ ! be/ opportunities = wom51 ab\t half are 9 ,mi*igan1 ,ohio & ,nor!rn ,indiana1 :]e ! automotive indu/ries--:i* attract f> m m5 ?an wom5--are locat$4 ,x is int]e/+ to note t dur+ ,_w ,w> ,,ii ! m>riage rate increas$ v rapidly 9 areas ) new w> indu/ries requir+ a great numb] ( m5--%ipbuild+1 aircraft1 metal work+4 ,9 ,baltimore1 ! m>riage rate w5t up ne>ly =ty p] c5t2 9 ,h>t=d1 important 9 aviation1 x w5t up tw5ty-five p] c5t4 ,areas t consi/5tly favor girls by provid+ a surplus ( eligible m5 are ! ,f> ,we/ & ! ,s\?we/1 p>ticul>ly ,texas4 ,! ,deep ,s\? is mu* less favorable4 ,:]e does y\r /ate /& on ! ratio ( eligible m5 to eligible wom58 ,! typical ,am]ican male m>ries at ab\t tw5ty-five & a half & ! typical female at tw5ty-two & a half1 or ab\t ?ree ye>s e>li]4 ,?us p]haps ! faire/ comp>ison w\ld be to take ! s+le m5 betwe5 tw5ty-?ree & tw5ty-eight & ! s+le wom5 betwe5 tw5ty & tw5ty-five4 ,! foll[+ table %[s h[ ea* /ate rates 9 su* a comp>ison4 ,x is bas$ on ! #aidj c5sus4 ,,numb] ,,( ,,s+le ,,:ite ,,males #bc-bh ,,ye>s ,,old ,,= ,,ea* #ajj ,,s+le ,,:ite ,,females #bj-be ,,ye>s ,,old ,nevada #agg4ba ,indiana #ig4if ,wyom+ #afd4ff ,georgia #ig4ef ,idaho #acj4fa ,ill9ois #ie4db ,cali=nia #abh4ja ,m9nesota #ie4da ,arizona #abg4ji ,delaw>e #id4bi ,montana #abe4di ,miss\ri #id4bh ,wa%+ton #aba4gh ,mississippi #id4bj ,di/4 ( ,col4 #aai4bj ,ma9e #ic4bj ,oregon #aaf4hb ,alabama #ic4ag ,new ,mexico #aac4ai ,i[a #ia4hc ,florida #aaa4ci ,new ,j]sey #ia4ab ,texas #aji4ag ,ohio #ij4ib ,v]mont #ajg4ej ,new ,york #ij4df ,virg9ia #ajf4fd ,p5nsylvania #ij4ag ,m>yl& #ajf4ah ,t5nessee #ij4jc ,nor? ,dakota #aje4gf ,nebraska #hi4ef ,colorado #ajb4ei ,utah #hi4bc ,mi*igan #aja4fh ,new ,hamp%ire #hi4ad ,l\isiana #aja4fa ,kansas #hh4ff ,k5tucky #ajj4ih ,connecticut #hh4eg ,wiscons9 #ajj4hb ,s\? ,c>ol9a #hg4ee ,arkansas #ii4bd ,nor? ,c>ol9a #hf4ce ,we/ ,virg9ia #ii4ab ,massa*usetts #hc4be ,s\? ,dakota #ih4cb ,rhode ,isl& #hb4fa ,oklahoma #ig4ii ,nevada leads ! li/ z ! p>adise = girls s9ce !re are #agg m5 !re = ea* #ajj girls4 ,at ! o!r end ( ! scale ,rhode ,isl& is ov]-populat$ ) females 7due to its _m textile mills7 & s is an unpromis+ place = girls to f9d a mate b a f9e place = m54 ,!re are "o hundr$ girls = e eighty-?ree m54 ,notice t all ( ! fir/ n9e /ates (f]+ ! be/ possibilities = girls are 9 ! ,we/1 & t ! five mo/ favorable /ates = m5 are 9 ! ,ea/4 ,p]haps ! old slogan 8,g ,we/1 "y man1 g ,we/0 might be revis$ to read 8,g ,ea/1 "y man2 g ,we/1 "y woman40 ,!re is ano!r age range t ne$s consid]ation4 ,t is1 ! gr\ps :o h n m>ri$ by ! "t mo/ p m>ry4 ,^! gr\ps are ! m5 betwe5 ?irty & ?irty-five & girls betwe5 tw5ty-five & ?irty4 ,bo? ^! gr\ps ne$ to get busy because !y face a v def9ite possibility ( becom+ cru/y old ba*elors or disgruntl$ sp9/]s4 ,s9ce m5 pa/ ?irty t5d to m>ry wom5 :o are m ?an ?ree ye>s y\ng] ?an !mselves x might be valid to comp>e ! numb] ( girls tw5ty-five to ?irty to ! m5 ?irty to ?irty-five4 ,"h aga9 ! ,we/ is ! great l& ( opportunity = girls :ile ! ,c>ol9as & ! ,new ,engl& textile /ates are /ill less invit+ to girls4 ,"o int]e/+ ?+ is t 9 ! ,s\!rn /ates ( ,k5tucky1 ,virg9ia & ,l\isiana a girl's ratio is pretty favorable up to tw5ty-five ye>s b aft] t !y become def9itely n good places to f9d a husb&4 ,if we take all s+le m5 z a :ole & comp>e !m to ! s+le wom51 )\t reg>d to age1 "h is h[ ! /ates seem to %ape up3 ,,! ,,t5 ,,be/ ,,= ,,wom5 ,,! ,,t5 ,,poore/ ,,= ,,wom5 ,,& ,,poore/ ,,= ,,m5 ,,& ,,be/ ,,= ,,m5 ,wyom+ ,massa*usetts ,montana ,rhode ,isl& ,idaho ,connecticut ,wa%+ton ,new ,hamp%ire ,arizona ,new ,j]sey ,cali=nia ,new ,york ,nor? ,dakota ,p5nsylvania ,oregon ,ohio ,s\? ,dakota ,nor? ,c>ol9a ,nevada ,miss\ri ,( ! t5 be/ /ates = wom5 all are we/ ( ! ,mississippi1 & ( ! be/ /ates = m5 all b "o is ea/ ( ! ,mississippi4 ,:ile ! /ates !mselves are pretty good guides z to :]e to g to pick a mate1 ! location )9 a p>ticul> /ate may be ( ev5 great] importance4 ,= example1 9 ,virg9ia1 ,norfolk rates z a f9e place = a girl to f9d a husb& b ,ri*mond rates way d[n ! scale4 ,"h is a comp>ison ( ! numb] ( :ite1 s+le girls 9 ! tw5ty-five to ?irty age gr\p & ( ! :ite1 s+le m5 ag$ ?irty to ?irty-five 9 our #ajf cities hav+ a population ( fifty ?\s& or m4 7,9 su* a comp>ison1 incid5tally1 virtually all ( our cities %[ a surplus ( old] girls ov] old] m5 :5 ^? two age gr\ps are comp>$4 ,"h1 h[ev]1 we are int]e/$ only 9 ! relative desirability ( cities47 ,,! ,,tw5ty ,,be/ ,,cities ,,= ,,! ,,tw5ty ,,poore/ ,,cities ,,= ,,wom5 ,,& ,,poore/ ,,= ,,m5 ,,wom5 ,,& ,,be/ ,,= ,,m5 79 ord]7 79 ord]7 ,san ,diego1 ,cal4 ,madison1 ,wis4 ,san ,francisco1 ,cal4 ,l9coln1 ,neb4 ,norfolk1 ,va4 ,des ,mo9es1 ,ia4 ,miami1 ,fla4 ,jackson1 ,miss4 ,long ,bea*1 ,cal4 ,evan/on1 ,ill4 ,los ,angeles1 ,cal4 ,m9neapolis1 ,m9n4 ,pho5ix1 ,ariz4 ,wi*ita1 ,kans4 ,oakl&1 ,cal4 ,/4 ,paul1 ,m9n4 ,tacoma1 ,wa%4 ,na%ville1 ,t5n4 ,sacram5to1 ,cal4 ,w9/on-,salem1 ,n4 ,c4 ,san ,antonio1 ,tex4 ,knoxville1 ,t5n4 ,h\/on1 ,tex4 ,gr& ,rapids1 ,mi*4 ,detroit1 ,mi*4 ,=t ,wayne1 ,ind4 ,baltimore1 ,md4 ,salt ,lake ,city1 ,utah ,pueblo1 ,colo4 ,new ,hav51 ,conn4 ,peoria1 ,ill4 ,omaha1 ,nebr4 ,mobile1 ,ala4 ,clevel&1 ,ohio ,tr5ton1 ,n4 ,j4 ,spr+field1 ,ill4 ,jacksonville1 ,fla4 ,montgom]y1 ,ala4 ,columbus1 ,ga4 ,h>t=d1 ,conn4 ,girls on f>ms & 9 small t[ns may fret to get to ! big cities b _! *ances ( m>ry+ w be bett] 9 _! rural communities1 :]e !re are #ajd m5 = e hundr$ wom51 ?an 9 ! cities :]e ! ratio is n9ety-six m5 p] hundr$ girls4 ,wom5's colleges & all-male colleges may h _! advantages educationally b !y c deprive y ( ! *ance = normal contacts ) ! opposite sex1 & ?us r$uce y\r *ances ( m>ry+4 ,to get a fairly accurate idea ( j :at y\r m>riage expectancy is1 consid]+ all factors1 y %\ld take ! te/ reproduc$ ) ?is *apt] on 8,:at ,is ,y\r ,m>riage ,expectancy80 ,if y\r expectancy rat+ is l[ d n become pessimi/ic4 ,t's ! wor/ ?+ t c\ld happ54 ,r decide :at y want 9 a mate 444 f9d :]e su* a mate exi/s 444 e/abli% fri5d%ips t w lead to introductions 444 make y\rself attractive to possible mates by /udy+ _! wants & ne$s & appe>+ to fill !m4 ,?is is a =mula t w get almo/ anyone a mate if he or %e really wants "o4 ,,:at ,,is ,,y\r ,,expectancy ,,( ,,m>riage8 ,?is te/ %\ld %[ pretty cle>ly :e!r y\r *ances ( m>ry+ are good1 or n s good4 ,be hone/ ) y\rself4 #a4 ,d y sometimes complim5t a p]son1 ev5 ?\gh x is n des]v$8 ,yes ,no #b4 ,d y pref] 8diff]5t0 or unconv5tional p8 ,yes ,no #c4 ,d y (t5 become involv$ 9 heat$ argum5ts8 ,yes ,no #d4 ,are y a good danc] & a good mix]8 ,yes ,no #e4 ,d y\r p>5ts g5]ally l ! p y date8 ,yes ,no #f4 ,d y\r good fri5ds include bo? m5 & wom5 ( ab\t y\r own age8 ,yes ,no #g4 ,d y take an active "p 9 two or m sports su* z t5nis1 swimm+1 golf or b[l+8 ,yes ,no #h4 ,d y seem to get ab\t y\r %>e ( invitations to mix$ p>ties8 ,yes ,no #i4 ,d y & y\r dates frequ5tly sp5d y\r ev5+s ) o!r c\ples8 ,yes ,no #aj4 ,h y ev] _h a *ance to become engag$8 ,yes ,no #aa4 ,d y seem to make a pretty good fir/ impression8 ,yes ,no #ab4 ,d y weigh betwe5 #ajj & #adj if a girl & #acj & #ahj if a man8 ,yes ,no #ac4 ,are y g5]ally 9 good heal?8 ,yes ,no #ad4 ,is y\r home *e]ful & op5 to all ( y\r fri5ds8 ,yes ,no #ae4 ,h y met at lea/ #bj memb]s ( ! opposite sex 9 ! pa/ ?ree ye>s :o seem$ l conceivable m>riage risks8 ,yes ,no #af4 ,d y\r fri5ds visit y frequ5tly8 ,yes ,no #ag4 ,d y live 9 a t[n or area t seems to h z _m "y p ( ! opposite sex z x has ( y\r own8 ,yes ,no #ah4 ,d y usually get along ) ! p>5ts ( ! p y date8 ,yes ,no #ai4 ,are y "u #bg if a girl & "u #cj if a man8 ,yes ,no #bj4 ,d y\r fri5ds seem to ?9k ( y z *e]ful & sociable8 ,yes ,no #ba4 ,d y visit o!r t[ns ?ree or f\r times a ye>8 ,yes ,no #bb4 ,:5 y meet someone y "k1 d y usually speak fir/8 ,yes ,no #bc4 ,d y usually rememb] names & faces ( p y meet8 ,yes ,no #bd4 ,d y l to ent]ta9 a date at home8 ,yes ,no #be4 ,are y fri5dly or affectionate ) p]sons y l8 ,yes ,no #bf4 ,w\ld y m>ry a p]son ?ree ye>s y\ng] or old] ?an y are8 ,yes ,no #bg4 ,d y date fairly (t58 ,yes ,no #bh4 ,are y a good li/5]8 ,yes ,no #bi4 ,d y f9d x easy to talk to /rang]s8 ,yes ,no #cj4 ,is y\r voice pleas+ & modulat$8 ,yes ,no #ca4 ,d y frequ5t places :]e memb]s ( ! opposite sex are8 ,yes ,no #cb4 ,d y l to wat* baseball1 football or box+8 ,yes ,no #cc4 ,h y 8gone /eady0 ) two or m p]sons8 ,yes ,no #cd4 ,if a girl d y live we/ ( ! ,mississippi or if a man d y live 9 ! ,ea/8 ,yes ,no ,! correct answ] to ! fir/ ?ree que/ions is no1 & to all ! rema9+ ?irty-"o que/ions yes4 ,if y answ]$ tw5ty-five or m ( ! que/ions correctly !n y h a high 8expectancy0 rat+4 ,if y answ]$ only eight or less ( !m correctly !n y\r *ances ( m>ry+ are def9itely poor unless y take action to improve y\r eligibility4 ,*apt] ,,iii ,are ,y ,ready = ,m>ri$ ,love8 ,! answ] to ?is "q is deceptively simple4 ,y are ready if y are old en\gh4 ,b h[ old are y8 ,!re are sev]al y>d/icks besides ! cal5d> = measur+ y\r age4 ,educators enjoy tell+ ! /ory ( ! wise "y orphan4 ,:5 a sweet old lady lean$ ov] & ask$ him 8 age ! "y man remov$ 8 glasses1 poli%$ !m ?\ghtfully = a m9ute & !n repli$3 8,my psy*ological age1 ,madam1 is twelve ye>s2 my moral age is t5 ye>s2 my social age is eight ye>s2 my anatomical & physiological ages are respectively six & sev52 b ,i h n be5 in=m$ ( my *ronological age4 ,t1 ,i und]/&1 is a matt] ( comp>ative insignificance40 ,:5 we ask y if y are old en\gh to m>ry1 we mean mature en\gh4 ,& maturity1 z x be>s on y\r read9ess = m>riage1 c be measur$ 9 at lea/ five ways3 physiological1 m5tal1 vocational1 sexual & emotional maturity4 ,by ^! /&>ds "s p are n old en\gh to m>ry :5 !y are ?irty-five6 99 99 99 99 99 ,,h[ ,,old ,,are ,,y ,,physiologically8 ,! adolesc5ce ( ! e>ly te5s is *>act]iz$ by rapid bodily gr[?--gr[? 9 height1 weight & sexual developm5t4 ,by eighte51 h[ev]1 y are ne>ly z tall z y w ev] be4 ,sexual gr[?1 :ile n complete 7especially = a girl71 has rea*$ a po9t :]e reproduction is possible4 ,g5]al gr[? sl[s d[n consid]ably & by tw5ty-f\r has j ab\t /opp$4 ,= purposes ( m>riage ! av]age p]son is 8mature0 physiologically by ! age ( tw5ty4 ,b "s require m "t1 because ( gl&ul> di/urbances4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,h[ ,,old ,,are ,,y ,,m5tally8 ,we d n mean :at is y\r ,i4,q41 :i* is a measure ( y\r capacity to le>n1 b r ! accumulation ( y\r le>n+4 ,9 %ort1 h[ wise are y8 ,normally a p]son mu/ live tw5ty-"o or tw5ty-two ye>s be=e he has se5 en\gh ( life ?r\gh s*ool+ & practical exp]i5ce to take on ! responsibilities t g ) m>riage4 ,if y h l$ a %elt]$ or "o-sid$ life x w probably take long]4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,h[ ,,old ,,are ,,y ,,vocationally8 ,a man1 c]ta9ly1 is n mature until he has e/abli%$ t he c e>n a liv+4 ,a college degree1 a lic5se to practice m$ic9e1 to tea*1 or to practice b>b]+ are n en\gh4 ,!re mu/ be a successful "w record & t _c be pres5t until a p]son has us$ 8 vocational k to make a liv+ = a p]iod ( n less ?an "o ye>4 ,once x 0 ?\ght t girls ne$$ no special tra9+ vocationally b t notion is pretty well outdat$ n[4 ,mod]n wom5 l to feel indep5d5t1 & frequ5tly _! ability to e>n money is call$ into use4 ,p]haps ! husb& is a disabl$ w> vet]an1 or p]haps ! wife feels %e ne$s a c>e] to e>n money4 ,at ! lea/1 ! girl ent]+ m>riage %\ld already be capable ( manag+ a home--& t requires skill & k t c't be le>n$ 9 a night club4 ,s9ce "s occupations require _m m ye>s ( education & tra9+ ?an o!rs1 vocational maturity c fall any:]e betwe5 eighte5 & tw5ty-six1 b = mo/ p x doesn't come until ab\t ! age ( tw5ty-two4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,h[ ,,old ,,are ,,y ,,sexually8 ,sexual maturity implies f> m ?an ! ability to beget or be> a *ild4 ,mo/ morons c d ?is4 ,sexual maturity is l>gely det]m9$ by *ildhood & x is some?+ mo/ p ei!r h or don't h4 ,a y\ng/] :o 0 re>$ by p>5ts :o 7 well balanc$ emotionally1 :o 7 ready li/5]s to 8 problems1 :o expla9$ compreh5sively ! magic & my/]y ( sex functions to him1 w usually be ready to face ! problems ( sexual adolesc5ce4 ,dur+ adolesc5ce he w be subject$ to _m /ra9s4 ,he w und]go _m gl&ul> *anges & beg9 to h sexual capacity4 ,! reproductive app>atus approa*es maturity betwe5 ! ages ( twelve & f\rte54 ,! boy has emissions4 ,! girl beg9s to m5/ruate4 ,bo? (t5 are di/urb$ or ev5 fright5$ by ^! new functions1 unless ! p>5t has be5 wise en\gh to prep>e !m = ! *anges4 ,dur+ adolesc5ce !y />t 8dat+10 :i* at fir/ is done self-consci\sly & awkw>dly4 ,_! /ate ( m9d is made m n]v\s if ! p>5ts tease or ridicule ^! fir/ /eps 9 c\rt+4 ,:5 ! boy & girl em]ge f adolesc5ce ab\t ! age ( eighte51 !y h a*iev$ sexual maturity if all has gone well4 ,if s3 --,!re is fre$om f repression & inhibitions conc]n+ sex4 --,!re is no disgu/ or av]sion z f> z sex is conc]n$4 --,likewise !re is no abnormal curiosity or long+ = sexual in=mation or exp]i5ce4 --,he or %e may /ill be %y or self-consci\s at fir/ :5 9 ! pres5ce ( someone ( ! opposite sex b bo? soon get ov] x :5 !y f9d activities to %>e4 ,?is is normally easy because by eighte5 y\ng/]s h acquir$ skill 9 danc+1 c>d play+1 sports1 hobbies1 & conv]s+4 ,if by eighte5 or tw5ty a p]son hasn't acquir$ sexual maturity 9 ! s5se describ$1 x might be a good idea to consult a m>riage c\nsel+ bureau1 a college psy*o-educational cl9ic1 a psy*ologi/ or "s o!r p]son tra9$ 9 help+ normal p a*ieve normal adju/m5ts4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,h[ ,,old ,,are ,,y ,,emotionally8 ,?is is by f> ! mo/ significant ( all y\r ages 9 det]m9+ y\r read9ess to m>ry6 ,mo/ ( ! rese>* on m>riage indicates t p :o lack 8emotional maturity0 r>ely a*ieve a happy m>riage4 ,:at is emotional maturity1 y may ask8 ,x's a /ate ( m9d t includes ability to get along ) p 444 ability to f9d satisfaction & rew>d 9 "w 444 ability to recognize & solve problems :i* involve y\r relations ) o!rs 444 & f9ally x includes fre$om f in/ability & neuroticism4 ,z 9 sexual maturity 7:i* is closely relat$ to emotional maturity7 ! fir/ t5 ye>s ( life are app>5tly ! mo/ important 9 det]m9+ if y w be emotionally /able4 ,c]ta9ly by ! age ( eighte5 a p]son %\ld h a pretty firm hold on 8 emotions4 ,if he has n acquir$ su* balance by tw5ty-"o or tw5ty-two ! outlook is n too promis+1 & he %\ld delib]ately set out to a*ieve bett] control ( himself4 ,a /5ograph] ( tw5ty-f\r came to ! ,p5n ,/ate ,m>riage ,c\nsel+ ,s]vice = advice aft] %e _h _h a doz5 promiscu\s affairs ) m54 ,%e came f a brok5 home :]e h] p>5ts _h tak5 only an erratic int]e/ 9 h] & %e %[$ s]i\s signs ( emotional in/ability1 z d virtually all promiscu\s girls & m54 ,"h is ! v]batim report t 0 writt5 on ,s&ra4 ,x provides a classic picture ( emotional in/ability3 ,s&ra feels inf]ior1 does _m unconv5tional ?+s1 has few /&>ds or ideals4 ,badly maladju/$1 %e flits f "o boy to ano!r1 seek+ new ?rills4 ,q promiscu\s & highly sex$1 %e has _h sexual affairs ) #ab or #ac m54 ,some:at popul> :ile 9 college1 ) attractive face & nice figure1 %e 0 dat$ by _m boys1 none ( :om ev5 w5t ) h] = m ?an f\r dates4 ,easily p]suad$ to any c\rse ( action1 %e c\ld readily excuse any brea* ( behavior4 ,*angeable & selfi%1 b anxi\s to be kn[n z a 8,campus ,que510 %e op5ly s\ght dates & a sort ( dubi\s & %ort-liv$ popul>ity4 ,because ( h] in/ability1 total lack ( /&>ds1 ideals & morals1 & h] selfi%ness & %all[ness1 %e is unlikely to m>ry unless %e cat*es a ri* 8suck]40 ,%e is 9 six 8dang] zones0 on h] ,audit ,pr(ile4 ,may ! ,"l help ! poor man :o is inveigl$ into m>riage4 ,no boy has ev] propos$ m>riage to h]1 a fact t has hurt h] vanity4 ,to p9 emotional maturity d[n m specifically1 "h side by side are eight traits1 "o or m ( :i* are frequ5tly not$ 9 p]sons :o are consid]$ 8emotionally immature10 & eight not$ 9 mature p]sons4 ,,immature ,,mature #a4 ,is aggressive & dom9e]+4 #a4 ,gets along ) p4 #b4 ,is rebelli\s & 8bullhead$40 #b4 ,has satisfy+ home life4 #c4 ,is full ( hates & prejudices4 #c4 ,pr(its f 8 mi/akes4 #d4 ,is (t5 victim ( illusions4 #d4 ,is successful 9 8 "w4 #e4 ,has _m phobias1 inhibitions4 #e4 ,respects au?ority & #f4 ,is victim ( imag9>y pa9s1 cu/oms4 /utt]+1 hy/]ia1 tremors1 #f4 ,he faces 8 problems4 insomnia4 #g4 ,accepts responsibility = #g4 ,is high-/rung4 own acts4 #h4 ,is (t5 indecisive & anxi\s4 #h4 ,he is consi/5t & pr$ictable4 ,a p]son c be emotionally un/able & n %[ all ( ^? symptoms b he und\bt$ly w %[ "s ( !m4 ,:at c anyone d to improve 8 control ov] 8 emotions1 & ?us a*ieve great] emotional maturity8 ,"h are a few sugge/ions3 --,try to look at y\rself objectively4 ,try to d s especially 9 connection ) y\r relations ) o!rs4 ,are y reasonable r ?an prejudic$8 ,c y recognize t a man may be a f9e p]son ev5 ?\gh he is a ,republican or a ,democrat1 t he is a good p]son ev5 ?\gh he may be a ,prote/ant or a ,ca?olic8 ,d y hone/ly try to make decisions on ! basis ( facts r ?an on ! basis ( feel+s1 or imag9>y facts t are m agreeable to y8 ,sit d[n e few weeks & try delib]ately to look at y\rself z o!rs mu/ see y4 ,w\ld y l y\rself if y 7 someone else8 --,le>n to laugh at y\rself4 ,! p]son :o c laugh at himself1 or :o c laugh at ! ?+s he loves & cont9ue to love !m1 is ! p]son :o is mo/ likely to h insight into himself4 ,& t insight is important 9 emotional maturity4 ,if y h a s5se ( ! ridicul\s y c see fun 9 _m ( y\r own activities1 & 9 do+ s are able to relax & feel happy4 ,y le>n to laugh at y\r tr\bles1 yet at ! same "t d y\r be/ to improve ! situation4 ,?is ability to see ! ridicul\s side acts z a cu%ion & helps y ma9ta9 y\r /ability1 ev5 :5 ?+s are mo/ exasp]at+4 --,set up a confid5tial relation%ip ) "s o!r p]son4 ,tell+ y\r problems to ano!r p]son helps y def9e ! problem 9 y\r own m9d1 x furni%es relief f ! t5sions y h built up1 & x br+s ano!r p]son's po9t ( view into ! picture4 ,"o ( ! bigge/ s+le values 9 m>riage is ! fact t x provides husb& & wife a confidant 9 ea* o!r1 & gives !m ! confid5tial relation%ip t is s important to m5tal integration4 --,seek "w t satisfies y4 ,no?+ w prev5t y f gett+ a hold on y\r emotions m ?an be+ conf9$ e day to "w t is disagreeable to y4 ,if y f9d x is un9t]e/+ or doesn't *all5ge y or doesn't (f] any opportunity z a /epp+ /one to m *all5g+ "w1 *ange jobs4 ,b d x intellig5tly1 because ! p]son :o is a frequ5t job-jump] is n a good m>riage risk4 ,rec5tly we talk$ to a man :o is =ty-f\r ye>s ( age4 ,he _h be5 divorc$ once1 is n[ unhappily liv+ ) a second wife1 wants to divorce h] & m>ry a ?ird woman4 ,8 job record %[s t he has held ?irty-n9e diff]5t jobs 9 8 life4 ,is x any wond] t he is unlikely to f9d happ9ess or /ability 9 life8 ,he does n "k :at he wants1 c't le>n f exp]i5ce1 & is pursu+ a w-o'-!-wisp4 --,:5 y h a problem face x squ>ely4 ,def9e ! problem1 get all ! facts1 & l9e up alt]native solutions 9 case ! fir/ c\rse isn't successful4 ,_m p seem incapable ( def9+ _! problems4 ,:5 !y are fac$ ) a fru/rat+ situation1 !y frequ5tly are unable to v>y _! attack ^u x4 ,:5 a girl c't get h] way %e cries4 ,cry+ may br+ h] "s r$uction ( t5sion1 b x does n solve ! problem4 ,! emotionally mature p]son c keep 8 head1 figure out some?+ to d1 b ! immature p]son gives up or cries or gets drunk4 ,we h devot$ s mu* m space to y\r emotional age ?an to ! o!r f\r ages--physiological1 m5tal1 vocational & sexual--because x is s fundam5tal to m>riage success4 ,if y f9d aft] read+ ?is *apt] y want to "k m ab\t develop+ y\r own maturity1 y w f9d fur!r sugge/ions 9 ! *apt]s 8,gett+ ,along ) ! ,o!r ,sex10 8,attract+ ! ,"o ,y ,want10 & 8,crucial ,traits = ,m>riage ,happ9ess40 ,:5 all ! five 8ages0 are tak5 into consid]ation x w\ld seem t a girl %\ld n consid] m>riage until %e is at lea/ n9ete5 or tw5ty & ! man %\ld n be=e he is tw5ty-"o or tw5ty-two4 ,^? are m9imum ages = normal m5 & girls4 ,^? :o develop sl[] ?an av]age 9 any ( ! five ages %\ld try to wait a ye> or two long] be=e decid+ ab\t m>riage4 ,,are ,,y ,,old ,,en\gh ,,to ,,m>ry8 ,y\r *ronological age is n z important z "s ( y\r o!r ages 9 det]m9+ :e!r y are ready = m>riage4 ,! in=mal *eck bel[ may give y a r\gh idea ( y\r maturity = m>riage4 ,physiological ,maturity ,are y #bj ye>s old or old]8 ,yes ,no ,are y 9 g5]al good heal?8 ,yes ,no ,z f> z y "k is y\r gl&ul> balance normal8 ,yes ,no ,m5tal ,maturity ,did y f9i% ! eigh? grade )\t repeat+ m ?an "o grade8 ,yes ,no ,d y read ! news daily8 ,yes ,no ,by age #bj _h y complet$ at lea/ two ye>s ( college or e>n$ y\r own liv+ = #b ye>s8 ,yes ,no ,vocational ,maturity ,are y prep>$ by education or exp]i5ce to make a liv+ 9 a specific occupation1 or 9 manag+ a home8 ,yes ,no ,h y atta9$ y\r #bb;d bir?day8 ,yes ,no ,d y h a job do+ "w = :i* y h prep>$8 ,yes ,no ,sexual ,maturity ,h y be5 dat+ at lea/ once a mon? s9ce age #af8 ,yes ,no ,are y\r attitudes t[>d sex free f disgu/ or av]sion8 ,yes ,no ,7 y\r p>5ts easy to talk to ab\t sex8 ,yes ,no ,emotional ,maturity ,d y get along well ) p8 ,yes ,no ,d y tru/ p & d !y tru/ y8 ,yes ,no ,d y usually d today :at is suppos$ to be done today8 ,yes ,no ,give y\rself "o po9t = ea* yes answ]4 ,y %\ld h a total score ( at lea/ twelve & %\ld h no less ?an two yes answ]s 9 ea* category if y are to be judg$ old en\gh to m>ry4 ,,are ,,y ,,gr[n ,,up ,,emotionally8 ,m ?an almo/ any?+ else1 y\r rat+ on 8emotional maturity0 reveals y\r *ances ( a*iev+ a happy m>riage4 ,"h is a m detail$ te/ ( y\r rat+ on ?is crucial trait4 ,answ] yes only if y are sure4 #a4 ,c y accept criticism )\t hav+ y\r feel+s hurt8 ,yes ,no #b4 ,are y normally free f jeal\sy8 ,yes ,no #c4 ,:5 y h diff]5ces ) p c y usually "w out compromises t satisfy y & don't leave h>d feel+s8 ,yes ,no #d4 ,d y behave y\rself because x seems ! natural ?+ to d & n because y fe> ! consequ5ces ( misbehav+8 ,yes ,no #e4 ,d y ?9k mo/ p are hone/1 dec5t & wor? :ile8 ,yes ,no #f4 ,are y happy mo/ ( ! "t--& free f viol5t emotional outbur/s8 ,yes ,no #g4 ,be=e beg9n+ a new project or mak+ a f9al decision d y hone/ly weigh ! argum5ts = & aga9/ x8 ,yes ,no #h4 ,c y be away f ! place y live = a mon? )\t gett+ homesick8 ,yes ,no #i4 ,d y will+ly abide by e/abli%$ au?ority & ! cu/oms ( y\r community8 ,yes ,no #aj4 ,c y make y\r own p]sonal decisions )\t dep5d+ on fri5ds & relatives to help y make up y\r m9d8 ,yes ,no #aa4 ,are y free f vague a*es1 nail bit+1 flu/]$ /amm]+8 ,yes ,no #ab4 ,c y po/pone some?+ y want to d n[ 9 ord] to h great] enjoym5t lat]8 ,yes ,no #ac4 ,are y liv+ ze/fully 9 ! pres5t in/ead ( bragg+ ab\t pa/ de$s8 ,yes ,no #ad4 ,d y g to sleep easily & normally slumb] )\t nightm>es8 ,yes ,no #ae4 ,d y get along well ) y\r p>5ts1 relatives1 & close fri5ds8 ,yes ,no #af4 ,:5 ?+s g wrong d y f9d ! cause & correct x in/ead ( blam+ o!rs or lam5t+ y\r bad breaks8 ,yes ,no #ag4 ,are y liv+ up to ! responsibilities :i* g along ) ! privileges giv5 to y8 ,yes ,no #ah4 ,h y fri5ds among bo? sexes1 "s old] & "s y\ng] ?an y are8 ,yes ,no ,if y hone/ly answ]$ yes to f\rte5 ( ^! or m y are m mature emotionally ?an ! av]age p]son4 ,if y answ]$ yes to sixte5 or m y %\ld h an exceptionally good *ance = a happy m>riage4 ,*apt] ,,iv ,is ,x ,love--or ,infatuation8 8,love0 is unque/ionably ! mo/ abus$ ^w 9 ! ,engli% language4 ,p 8love0 puppies1 or !y 8love0 ice cream4 ,wom5 commonly close _! lett]s to acqua9tances ) ! ^w 8love0 z d all relatives :5 !y write to "o ano!r4 ,boys try+ to get a kiss f _! girl fri5ds mumble some?+ ab\t love4 ,t's to make ! giv+ easi] = ! girl4 ,!n !re are diff]5t k9ds ( g5u9e love4 ,a "m loves h] two-ye>-old baby j z :olehe>t$ly z %e loves h] husb&4 ,& %e loves h] husb& n[ j z mu* z %e did z a girl eight ye>s ago :5 %e 8fell0 9 love ) him1 b ! love is diff]5t4 ,%e 0 m mi/y-ey$ !n4 ,%e didn't realize x b ! e>li] love 0 heavily flavor$ by sexual attraction4 ,n[ sex is /ill pres5t 9 h] reg>d = h] husb& b ! bond is prim>ily a deep feel+ ( comrade%ip4 ,& ) ! baby1 ( c\rse1 true sexual feel+s are n involv$ at all4 ,9 all ?ree ( ! cases1 h[ev]1 %e _h develop$ a deep conc]n = ! welf>e ( ! lov$ "o2 & 9 all ?ree ( ! cases ! lov$ "o _h simil> feel+s ( atta*m5t to h]4 ,"r "h y h ! gi/ ( true love1 :e!r p>5tal1 conjugal or romantic4 ,/ill1 x is (t5 difficult to "k if y\r 8love0 is ! real ?+4 ,two out ( five ( ! girls :o come to ! ,p5n ,/ate ,m>riage ,c\nsel+ ,s]vice = advice ab\t _! affairs ?9k !y are 9 love b ar5't sure4 ,"o girl 0 really confus$4 ,%e report$ t %e 0 t]ribly 9 love ) two diff]5t m5 at ! college4 ,"o 0 on ! basketball team4 ,! o!r play$ 9 a campus or*e/ra4 ,%e did n "k :i* "o %e lov$ ! m & want$ to be told :i* to *oose4 ,te/s soon e/abli%$ beyond a d\bt t %e _h ! w>me/ k9d ( physical feel+ = bo? m54 ,b ! te/s also %[$ t %e 0 prim>ily fasc9at$ by !m z 8cat*es40 ,%e wasn't actually 9 love ) ei!r1 & 0 s in=m$4 ,%e 0 ! victim ( d\ble infatuation4 ,h[ c y tell love f infatuation8 ,dr4 ,h5ry ,b[man ( ,/eph5s ,college (f]s ^! po9ts ( di/9ction3-- ,infatuation may come sudd5ly b loves takes "t4 ,infatuation c be bas$ on "o or two traits 7usually includ+ sex appeal7 :]eas love is bas$ on _m traits4 ,9 infatuation ! p]son is 9 8love0 ) love1 :]eas 9 love1 ! p]son is 9 love ) ano!r p]son4 ,9 infatuation ! o!r p]son is ?\ght ( z a sep>ate entity & employ$ = self-gratification4 ,9 real love !re is a feel+ ( id5tity ) ! o!r p]son4 ,infatuation produces feel+s ( insecurity & wi%ful ?9k+ :]eas love produces a s5se ( security4 ,9 infatuation y suff] loss ( ambition1 appetite1 etc41 :]eas 9 love y "w & plan to please ! o!r p]son4 ,! physical elem5t is mu* m important 9 infatuation ?an 9 love4 ,infatuation may *ange quickly b love la/s4 ,9 g5]al y c be sur] t x is really love if x has develop$ ov] a p]iod ( "t r ?an if x comes all ( a sudd54 ,b1 y may ask1 h[ ab\t ^? c\ples :o are 8meant = ea* o!r0 & 8fell 9 love at fir/ sight40 ,bo? are nice romantic notions1 b bo? h little validity 9 fact4 ,!re is no "o p]son 9 ! _w = anyone4 ,we don't expect happily m>ri$ c\ples or happily engag$ c\ples to believe t b all ! evid5ce indicates x is true4 ,!re are hundr$s1 inde$ ?\s&s1 ( p t y c\ld fall 9 love ) & be happily m>ri$ to4 7,& !re are1 ( c\rse1 ?\s&s & p]haps millions ( p y w\ld be mis]able ) z mates47 ,! only s5se 9 :i* !re c be a 8"o & only0 = y is t !re may be only "o good prospect )9 y\r range ( possible acqua9tance%ip4 ,x is ! multitude ( good possible mates t sometimes makes x difficult = a girl to *oose betwe5 two m54 ,x is ! multitude ( possibilities t produces triangul> situations aft] m>riages2 & x is ?is multitude ( available mates 9 ,am]ica t makes x possible = a girl to f9d & love a man 9 h] own community r ?an to h to g f ,ma9e to ,cali=nia to meet a 8"o & only40 ,z = in/antane\s love1 a girl has ab\t z mu* *ance ( 8fall+ 9 love at fir/ sight0 z %e does ( becom+ ,c9d]ella4 ,at times c\ples exp]i5ce 8infatuation at fir/ sight0 :i* may or may n lat] mature into love4 ,& ord9>ily ! infatuation is bas$ ab\t eighty p] c5t on sexual attraction4 8,love at fir/ sight0 also (t5 occurs :5 y come across someone :o happ5s to mat* y\r 8phantasy ideal0 = a mate4 ,if y h always dream$ ( a bride ) l>ge br[n eyes1 a turn$-up nose & a %apely figure--& y are ripe = mat+--y fall = ! fir/ girl mat*+ t description4 ,x is a mighty haz>d\s way to try to pick a mate4 ,o!r p ?9k !y fall 9 love 8at fir/ sight0 because !y are desp]ately anxi\s to h "s "o to hold to1 & clut* at ! fir/ p]son :o comes along4 ,!y suff] f feel+s ( insecurity4 ,?is 0 p>ticul>ly true ( girls dur+ ! w>4 ,"o girl :o came to ! ,p5n ,/ate cl9ic 0 raptur\s ab\t h] com+ m>riage to an army lieut5ant /ation$ tempor>ily at ! college4 ,:y did %e love him8 ,%e 0 pretty vague ab\t t & seem$ to res5t ! "q4 ,:at did !y h 9 common 9 ! way ( int]e/s & ideals8 ,! only ?+ %e c\ld ?9k ( 0 t !y bo? lik$ to b[l4 ,x soon develop$ t :at %e 0 9 love ) 0 ! idea ( gett+ m>ri$4 ,%e 0 tw5ty-sev5 & n]v\s ab\t h] future4 ,t %e 0 s9c]ely conv9c$ %e 0 9 love ) ! man 0 a tribute to h] own p[]s ( self-deception4 ,%e realiz$ t %e %\ld 9 all dec5cy be 9 love ) ! man %e 0 go+ to m>ry1 & conv9c$ h]self t %e 04 ,frequ5tly two p fall s madly 9 8love0 soon aft] meet+ t !y feel !y mu/ m>ry imm$iately4 ,?is t5d5cy is s well kn[n t mo/ m>riage c\nselors rightfully "q if a /ate ( true love exi/s :5 ! two p feel !y w die if !y don't get m>ri$ tomorr[ or next week4 ,real love c wait4 ,x c make sacrifices2 x is n some?+ t has to be ru%$4 ,! m urg5t ! desire to get m>ri$ imm$iately1 ! great] ! likelihood t x is infatuation & t ! infatuation may die out z abruptly z x sprang into be+4 ,b :y1 y may ask1 is love at fir/ sight s improbable8 ,:y c't y fall 9 love z easily imm$iately z y c aft] weeks ( kn[+ ea* o!r8 ,"h we get to ! ess5ce ( love1 :i* ,web/]'s diction>y def9es z3 8,desire =1 & e>ne/ ef=t to promote ! welf>e (1 ano!r40 ,love is n a trap y fall into4 ,x is a /ate ( respect = & comrade%ip ) ano!r t has develop$ f ! fact t y bo? h simil> ta/es1 ideals & ye>n+s4 ,su* comrade%ip _c come z a result ( "o date4 ,cynics h said t 8love is ( all feel+s ! mo/ egoi/ic & consequ5tly is1 :5 cross$1 ! lea/ g5]\s40 ,t assumes love is possessive & selfi%4 ,g5u9e love z we und]/& x today is ! m$ium ?r\gh :i* ! fulle/ developm5t ( ! p]sonalities ( a man & woman may take place4 ,& x involves a ke5 desire = ! welf>e ( ! lov$ p]son4 ,!re is no?+ egoi/ic ab\t real love6 ,"h briefly are "s conditions t are usually pres5t be=e love c develop3 --,! two p]sons h _h exp]i5ces toge!r t h caus$ ea* to react favorably to ! o!r4 --,!y h ea* f\nd pres5t 9 ! o!r qualities1 /&>ds & ideals :i* !y admire4 --,_! sexual feel+s h be5 s favorably condition$1 )\t _! realiz+ x1 t !y f9d great pleasure j 9 be+ 9 ea* o!r's pres5ce4 --,ea* "o 9 "s way fulfills "s ( ! motives t are ( importance to ! o!r1 su* z desire = social approval or1 ) a man1 ma/]y4 ,!re are _m p = :om x is utt]ly impossible to fall 9 love4 ,= a few ?is is due to physical inadequacy4 ,b to mo/ x is a result ( unfavorable condition+ t has made !m selfi% or afraid ( contact ) ! opposite sex4 ,h[ does a p]son get ! ability to fall 9 love8 ,f a physical /&po9t c]ta9 hormones p\r into ! blood /ream ( a man or woman pa/ pub]ty t create sexual t5sion4 ,b t only />ts to expla9 ! complexity ( ! love relation%ip4 ,y\r ability to fall 9 love dep5ds = ! mo/ "p on y\r own previ\s exp]i5ce z f> back z *ildhood4 ,9 ! beg9n+1 = example1 y\r "m met all y\r ne$s4 ,e "t y cri$ y\r "m ru%$ to y1 to fe$ y1 to give y a dr9k1 to *ange y\r diap] or to remove a p9 t 0 /ick+ 9 y4 ,gradually 9 y\r m9d ! "m becomes associat$ ) ev]y?+ pleasant1 ) eat+1 ! relief ( ?ir/1 ! elim9ation ( pa94 ,y probably became atta*$ to h] ) a dep? ( love & affection t la/$ = _m ye>s4 ,simil>ly y\r "m receiv$ pleasure f he>+ y\r coos :5 %e gave y relief f pa91 %e receiv$ ! approval ( y\r fa!r = be>+ y & ! admir+ comm5ts on y f ! neighbors2 & %e satisfi$ h] motive ( ma/]y by hav+ some?+ 7y7 "u h] control4 ,h] love deep5$ = y4 ,x has be5 obs]v$ 9 ! ,s\?1 :]e ! nursemaids may (t5 sp5d m "t ) ! *ild ?an ! "m does t ! *ild becomes m favorably condition$ to ! nursemaid ?an to ! "m4 ,t illu/rates t love is a le>n$ process4 ,z y grew old] & began play+ ) *ildr5 y le>n$ to l ^? ) :om play+ 0 fun & y le>n$ to dislike ^? :]e y\r association 0 m>k$ only by dissatisfaction & unpleasantness4 ,simil>ly if y\r e>ly associations ) ^? ( ! opposite sex 7 all m>k$ by unpleasantness & n]v\s t5sion y t5d$ to /ick to ^? ( y\r own sex2 b if !y 7 m>k$ ) pleasure y turn$ m & m to ! o!r sex4 ,ev5 ! appe>ance ( ! girl t a "y man likes is due to pleasant associations ) o!r p]sons :o _h "o or m ( ! *>act]i/ics t 8 girl has4 ,x is n j accid5t t girls are m likely to fall 9 love ) boys :o h *>act]i/ics resembl+ _! own fa!rs ?an !y are ) boys :o don't4 ,simil>ly a boy is m likely to fall 9 love ) a girl :o resembles 8 own "m ?an ) a girl :o doesn't4 ,if y\r e>ly life has be5 m>k$ by /rife 9 ! home & t5sion 9 y\r relation ) p y\r own age1 !n y h be5 poorly condition$ = ! comrade%ip m>ri$ love c provide4 ,& y probably w h ! greate/ difficulty f9d+ happ9ess 9 m>riage4 ,b if y\r relation%ips ) p h be5 relatively s]5e1 y w f9d x easy to le>n to love someone ( ! opposite sex4 ,y w f9d t :5 y d c]ta9 ?+s y receive approval by way ( happy smiles & rew>ds4 ,gradually y le>n to put y\r be/ foot =w>d4 ,y & y\r date bo? are condition$ to be on y\r be/ behavior & if y h _m ?+s 9 common develop a deep fri5d%ip ) ea* o!r4 ,!n1 if ! condition+ dur+ ! fri5d%ip is q favorable1 y\r mutual feel+ ( appreciation & affection = ea* o!r gr[s & f9ally rip5s into love4 ,!re y h x4 ,9 y\r love = ea* o!r y w bo? gradually become sexually vibrant & y bo? w beg9 to feel a ne$ = sexual expression ?r\gh ea* o!r4 ,z ?is ne$ becomes increas+ly /rong1 y bo? beg9 to ?9k ( engagem5t & m>riage4 ,ideally :5 y\r ne$ = ea* o!r becomes s /rong t x c no long] be d5i$1 y are m>ri$4 ,,are ,,y ,,really ,,9 ,,love8 ,! fir/ ?+ _m c\nselors l to f9d out :5 p come to !m ab\t ! possibility ( m>ry+ is to f9d out :e!r !y are actually 9 love4 ,"h are "s que/ions :i* quickly disclose :e!r a p]son is afflict$ ) ! real ?+ or is j infatuat$ by good looks & sex appeal4 ,answ] ea* "q tru?fully reg>dless ( :at y ?9k ! correct answ] %\ld be4 #a4 ,d y h a great numb] ( ?+s t y l to d toge!r8 ,yes ,no #b4 ,d y h a feel+ ( pride :5 y comp>e y\r fri5d to any o!r y h kn[n8 ,yes ,no #c4 ,d y feel y ne$ to apologize = c]ta9 ?+s ab\t him8 ,yes ,no #d4 ,d y suff] f a feel+ ( unre/ :5 away f him or h]8 ,yes ,no #e4 ,h y a /rong desire to please him or h] & are y q glad to give way on y\r own pref]5ces8 ,yes ,no #f4 ,d y h any difficulty c>ry+ on a conv]sation ) ea* o!r8 ,yes ,no #g4 ,ev5 :5 y qu>rel d y /ill enjoy be+ toge!r8 ,yes ,no #h4 ,d y actually want to m>ry ?is p]son8 ,yes ,no #i4 ,w\ld y be afraid to tru/ him or h] 9 ! pres5ce ( ano!r attractive p]son ( y\r own sex = an ev5+8 ,yes ,no #aj4 ,does he or %e h ! qualities y w\ld l to h 9 y\r *ildr58 ,yes ,no #aa4 ,d y\r fri5ds & associates mo/ly admire ?is p]son & ?9k he1 or %e1 w\ld be a good mat* = y8 ,yes ,no #ab4 ,d y ev] wond] if he1 or %e1 is fai?ful8 ,yes ,no #ac4 ,d y\r p>5ts ?9k y are 9 love8 7,!y are v disc]n+ ab\t su* ?+s47 ,yes ,no #ad4 ,h y />t$ plann+1 at lea/ 9 y\r own m9d1 :at k9d ( w$d+1 *ildr51 & home y w h8 ,yes ,no #ae4 ,are y consci\s ( be+ jeal\s ( him1 or h]8 ,yes ,no #af4 ,is ?is p]son attractive to y n only 9 appe>ance b 9 ! way he talks1 acts & ?9ks8 ,yes ,no #ag4 ,d y approve g5]ally ( ea* o!r's fri5ds8 ,yes ,no #ah4 ,d y wond] if he1 or %e1 is be+ s9c]e 9 :at he tells y8 ,yes ,no #ai4 ,d y h a weal? ( ?+s to discuss & d toge!r8 ,yes ,no #bj4 ,:5 outside tr\ble develops = "o ( y does ! crisis t5d to pull y toge!r r ?an ap>t8 ,yes ,no #ba4 ,are !re _m ?+s on :i* y disagree8 ,yes ,no #bb4 ,d y f9d t 9 ?9k+ ( ! future x is always 9 t]ms ( two r ?an ( y\rself alone8 ,yes ,no #bc4 ,c y imag9e h[ he or %e w appe> at #dj & /ill feel z deeply atta*$ to him z be=e8 ,yes ,no #bd4 ,d y h s]i\s d\bts ab\t y\r love = him8 ,yes ,no ,if y h a p]fect score y answ]$ e ?ird "q 7#c1 #f1 #i1 #ab1 #ae1 #ah1 #ba1 #bd7 ) ,no & all ! o!rs ) ,yes4 ,did y h tw5ty or m 8correct0 answ]s8 ,if s1 we w\ld judge y to be solidly 9 love4 ,if y did n1 y %\ld be skeptical until y receive fur!r pro(4 ,*apt] ,v ,gr[+ ,up ,sexually ,y\r ability to und]take m>riage successfully has already be5 det]m9$ 9 l>ge "p be=e y ev5 />t4 ,x has be5 det]m9$ by exp]i5ces y h _h ) sex g5]ally & ) ! opposite sex p>ticul>ly4 ,possibly y are already s]i\sly h&icapp$ by repressions & fe>s on ! subject4 ,to ignore or fe> sex is no m s5sible ?an to ignore any ( ! o!r emotions y possess4 ,sexual desire is a natural desire4 ,)\t x y\r p]sonality w\ld become impov]i%$4 ,)\t x !re w\ld be few m>riages4 ,)\t x !re w\ld be few *ildr5 & few homes4 ,sex is no?+ to be a%am$ ( or be :isp]$ ab\t4 ,y c h love )\t sex & sex )\t love b nei!r alone is v satisfy+ or enri*+4 ,= example _m m5 are capable ( sexual activity ) wom5 = :om !y c\ld f9d no pleasure 9 social associations4 ,7 x n = ?is fact !re w\ld be no pro/itution4 ,likewise x is true !re are _m wives :o love _! husb&s & engage 9 sexual activity ) !m1 b )\t feel+ any sexual urge :atsoev] & )\t feel+ any physical satisfaction4 ,! ideal arrangem5t1 h[ev]1 is t 9 :i* ! two p h g5u9e love & affection = ea* o!r & at ! same "t h /rong sex desire = ea* o!r & f9d sexual satisfaction 9 ea* o!r4 ,a v l>ge proportion ( ! fe>s1 repressions & anxieties t p suff] f involve sex "o way or ano!r4 ,_m ( ^! repressions are reveal$ 9 su* ?+s z frigidity & impot5ce4 ,! individual :o is a%am$ & afraid ( sex w be repress$ 9 m>ri$ life unless ! attitude is correct$1 & w f9d x difficult to adju/ to m>riage4 ,:5 su* p]sons are m>ri$ ! feel+s ( %ame or guilt ab\t sex may prev5t sexual satisfaction4 ,?is lack ( satisfaction1 & ! t5sion t goes ) x1 may produce n]v\sness1 a*es & pa9s & ev5 n]v\s breakd[ns4 ,_m m>ri$ p1 p>ticul>ly wives1 suff] f repression4 ,:ile sexual maladju/m5t is n ! only cause ( unhapp9ess 9 m>riage x does play a significant "p4 ,x is e/imat$ t "o-fif? ( all m>ri$ p turn to ma/urbation z "o ( ! ways to r$uce ! sexual t5sions n satisfi$ ?r\gh intimate relation%ips ) ! mate4 ,h[ d ^! s-call$ repressions develop8 ,:]e d we le>n ab\t sex8 ,our sex exp]i5ces--:e!r good or bad--/>t$ :5 we 7 babies4 ,we react$ 9 a v favorable way to ! fondl+1 c>ess+ & o!r sk9 /imulation ( our mo!rs4 ,love & affection came to be associat$ 9 our m9ds ) fondl+ & /rok+4 ,sometimes z ! baby gr[s old] ! p>5t lavi%es too mu* affection on ! *ild because ! "m is hungry = affection :i* is n =?com+ f h] husb&4 ,?is excessive love-condition+ may cause ! *ild to become int5sely atta*$ to ! "m & makes x difficult = ! *ild to break away z x gr[s up4 ,n only ?is1 b 9 addition ! excessive fondl+ & favorable att5tion may cause ! *ild to h an excessive desire = sympa?y & social approval4 ,ergo1 we h a 8spoil$ *ild40 ,?is spoil$ *ild gr[s up feel+ v sorry = himself & insecure :5 he is n receiv+ sympa?y4 ,9 m>riage1 he or %e becomes q possessive because he or %e wants to be ! con/ant c5t] ( att5tion4 ,b to get back to :5 y 7 a gr[+ *ild4 ,_m ( ! feel+s ( guilt1 %ame or fe> t p suff] f conc]n+ sex beg9 !n4 ,p]haps ! *ild is detect$ 9 ! act ( explor+ 8 sex organs4 ,x is probably normal curiosity b ! p>5ts puni% him s sev]ely t ! *ild feels exce$+ly guilty ab\t x4 ,p]haps ! *ild he>s a f\r-lett] ,anglo-,saxon ^w4 ,pr\d ( ?is new acquisition he comes home & uses x ) 8 p>5ts4 ,! p>5ts are dumf\nd$1 %[ _! int5se disapproval1 & may wa% ! *ild's m\? out ) soap4 ,or p]haps ! *ild asks h[ babies are made & ! p>5t may rebuff ! *ild or act s my/]i\s t ! *ild concludes he has done some?+ = :i* he %\ld be a%am$4 ,on ! o!r h&1 if z a *ild y _h a confid5tial relation%ip ) y\r p>5ts & f\nd t :5 y took su* problems to !m !y w\ld try to give y answ]s y c\ld compreh5d y develop$ a normal1 heal?y attitude t[>d sex4 ,repression usually occurs only :5 some?+ happ5s to u = :i* we feel a%am$ or guilty or fe>ful4 ,x w\ld seem to u t no *ild %\ld be p]mitt$ to rea* ! age ( five or six )\t kn[+ :]e babies come f4 ,x fur!rmore seems to u t no *ild %\ld rea* ! age ( t5 )\t kn[+ :at produces or causes babies4 ,n[ we come to ! p]iod t affect$ y mo/ pr(\ndly 9 y\r sexual developm5t1 pub]ty4 ,c y rememb] h[ y\r life & body 7 *ang$ f ! "t y 7 twelve to f\rte58--t is1 :5 y 7 fir/ end[$ ) sexual capacity4 ,:e!r y 7 a boy or girl1 y\r sex gl&s 7gonads7 began p\r+ _! hormones into ! blood /ream 9 great quantities4 ,p]haps y did n realize x at ! "t b y began feel+ m t5se1 m en]getic1 & began exhibit+ :at might be call$ 8animal spirits40 ,f>m]s %ake _! heads sadly at _! y\ng/]s dur+ ?is p]iod & resign !mselves to ! fact t ! y\?s won't be ov] 8,fool's ,hill0 until !y are sixte54 ,x probably 0 dur+ y\r e>ly te5s t y _h y\r fir/ great 8love0 affair1 if y 7 normal4 ,puppy love is "o ( ! sweete/ loves t "o ev] has4 ,x usually makes its appe>ance at ab\t ! "t ! girl beg9s to m5/ruate & ! boy becomes capable ( hav+ sexual emissions4 ,?is fir/ love ( y\rs 0 romantic & ideali/ic4 ,probably y 8fell 9 love0 ) a girl 9 ! next aisle1 pass$ notes to h] & pick$ fl[]s on ! way to s*ool = h]4 ,y walk$ home toge!r aft] s*ool & if y did manage to conqu] y\r emb>rassm5t & kiss1 x is a kiss y w nev] =get4 ,y did n realize t ^? hormones puls+ ?r\gh y\r body 7 responsible = ?is 8cru%0 & did n realize :y y 7 m t5se & en]getic4 ,to r$uce ! t5sion1 ?\gh1 y look$ at ea* o!r & some?+ ab\t y\r pa/ condition+ made ea* ( y f9d some?+ appeal+ 9 ! o!r4 ,sometimes ^! fir/ 8loves0 endure b m likely y are soon bo? 9 8love0 ) new 8flames0 t sudd5ly appe>$ m appeal+4 ,puppy love1 y see1 is an e>ly v]sion ( infatuation4 ,z a *ild y\r sexual feel+s 7 diffus$ ov] ! body surface b ) pub]ty ^? feel+s came m & m to be localiz$ 9 c]ta9 s5sitive areas ( ! body1 call$ 8erog5\s zones10 if y _h normal contacts ) ! o!r sex4 ,9 ! case ( girls ^: contact ) sex is c>efully gu>d$1 h[ev]1 x is q possible t sex desire may rema9 diffus$ until m>riage & ! loss ( virg9ity4 ,! appe>ance ( ! m5/rual dis*>ge c be a pr(\ndly fright5+ ev5t = a girl unless %e has be5 prep>$ to expect x4 ,(t5 x m>ks ! beg9n+ ( fe>s t c>ry ov] ev5 into m>riage4 ,take ! case ( ,alice1 a s*ool sup]9t5d5t's daught]1 :o 0 re>$ 9 a /]n atmosph]e ( morality4 ,:5 %e ask$ :]e babies came f h] "m fir/ rebuk$ h] & :5 %e p]si/$ 9 inquir+ ! "m said !y 7 br\ght 9 ! m$ical bags ( physicians4 ,:5 %e rea*$ ! age ( m5/ruation1 = :i* h] "m _h n prep>$ h]1 %e ?\ght a t]rible calamity _h befall5 h]4 ,%e navely believ$ = sev]al mon?s t %e 0 hav+ a baby4 ,lat] ! only in=mation %e ev] acquir$ on sex 0 ?r\gh bull sessions ) o!r girls at college1 & !re ! in=mation 0 mislead+4 ,%e 0 fe>ful ( sex & :51 dur+ h] fre%man ye>1 a boy tri$ to kiss h] %e react$ v /rongly4 ,%e felt t %e mu/ n be a nice girl or a boy w\ld n ?9k ( try+ to kiss h]4 ,h] "m _h told h] t nice girls did n kiss boys4 ,today ,alice is tw5ty-n9e & /ill n m>ri$4 ,fur!rmore %e seems l a v poor prospect4 ,%e has react$ frigidly to all ov]tures ( gr[n m5 to kiss h] ev5 ?\gh %e feels %e %\ld m>ry4 ,to h] 8sex0 is animal passion & its only rightful function is reproduction4 ,%e has s _m repressions ab\t sex t %e _c act normally 9 ! pres5ce ( someone ( ! opposite sex4 ,"h is h[ ! repressions op]ate ) ,alice4 ,%e does h] be/ n to ?9k ab\t sex4 ,%e avoids situations or circum/ances t w\ld involve sex by /ay+ away f p ( ! opposite sex1 by n go+ to dances & by refra9+ f do+ ?+s t w\ld 9 any way br+ sex to m9d4 ,h] life is a desp]ate hide-&-seek ) sex4 ,fur!rmore h] repression is s effective t %e won't ev5 admit t a sexual problem exi/s = h]4 ,sometimes direct fe> condition+ may occur4 ,9 "o girl :o 0 ref]r$ to ! ,p5n ,/ate cl9ic !re 0 an int5se fe> ( be+ ) well-educat$ p4 ,:5 all ! facts 7 le>n$1 x 0 discov]$ t 9 h] e>ly te5s ! girl _h be5 detect$ ma/urbat+ by h] "m4 ,to fright5 h] out ( ! habit ! "m told h] t su* a practice w\ld *ange h] facial appe>ance s mu* t any educat$ p]son look+ at h] w\ld "k %e 0 a ma/urbator4 ,! girl1 already a%am$ ( h] habit1 felt s mu* guilt t %e />t$ avoid+ anyone :o _h a college education because %e believ$ su* p c\ld see h] secret 9 h] face4 ,x took _m mon?s ( treatm5t to get h] to ! place :]e %e c\ld associate ) college p ) ease4 ,x is our op9ion t mu* ( ! sexual maladju/m5t ( ! _w is br\ght ab\t by p>5ts giv+ _! *ildr5 ! impression t sex is %ameful1 disgu/+1 fe>ful or na/y4 ,"o "y man came into ! psy*ological cl9ic compla9+ ( sev]e indige/ion1 he>tburn & excruciat+ /oma* pa9s4 ,:5 ask$ :at he ?\ght ! tr\ble 0 he said x probably 0 caus$ by 8 habit ( dr9k+ a c\ple ( be]s ?ree or f\r times a week4 ,he _h made _m ef=ts to /op dr9k+ ! be]1 b 9 va94 ,! companion%ip ( ! o!r "y m5 ) :om he drank1 ! feel+ ( t5sion r$uction t he felt :ile dr9k+1 ! p>tial release ( "s ( 8 inhibitions "u alcohol all prev5t$ him f break+ ! habit4 ,he _h nev] be5 drunk yet he 0 sure t ! half-doz5 glasses ( be] a week 7 caus+ 8 /oma* tr\ble & w\ld ultimately lead to ulc]s or canc]4 ,9 work+ ) ?is "y man x 0 f\nd t he _h begun ma/urbat+ 9 adolesc5ce4 ,8 fa!r _h discov]$ ?is & _h sev]ely d5\nc$ him = ! practice4 ,! boy c\ld n1 or did n1 give up ma/urbation & 0 9 con/ant fe> t he w\ld g insane because 8 fa!r told him t cont9u$ ma/urbation always l$ to insanity4 ,9 read+ an old-fa%ion$ book on sex :i* 8 fa!r gave him1 ! boy ran across a /atem5t to ! effect t alcohol weak5$ ! sex drive4 ,he 0 s anxi\s to r$uce 8 own drive1 = fe> ( insanity1 t he began dr9k+ be] habitually4 ,he 0 s sure ! alcohol 0 r$uc+ 8 sex drive t he /opp$ ma/urbat+4 ,actually1 ( c\rse1 ! sex drive 0 /ill pres5t & 8 repression & anxiety 7 transf]r$ f ma/urbat+ to be] dr9k+1 ) ! physical symptoms already describ$4 ,by help+ ! "y man und]/& h[ he _h become unfavorably condition$ to ma/urbation 7:i*1 :ile an inf]ior or sub/itute adju/m5t1 is a natural act7 he lo/ all ( 8 /oma* symptoms & ga9$ a :olesome attitude ab\t sex4 ,h[ c sexual inhibitions & repressions be 8unle>n$80 ,! be/ ?+ to d ( c\rse is consult a good cl9ical psy*ologi/ or compet5t psy*iatri/4 ,ext5sive psy*o!rapy may be ne$$4 ,b "h are "s ?+s t an individual c d t may help3 --,develop a fri5dly confid5tial relation%ip ) "s o!r p]son :o c be tru/$ & bit by bit unburd5 y\rself ( y\r fe>s1 anxieties1 problems & fru/rations4 ,simply gett+ ?+s out ( "o's sy/em br+s t5sion release4 ,n only t b z "o talks ab\t 8 problems & feel+s t[>d !m1 he beg9s to def9e ! problem & see possibilities ( attack+ & solv+ ! problem himself4 ,& ! fri5d may h "s helpful sugge/ions4 --,delib]ately associate ) p ( ! opposite sex z mu* z possible if repression is pres5t4 ,gradually ?is w help r$uce t5sions z y become us$ to !m & if ! condition+ is favorable y may a*ieve :olesome & normal reactions to ! opposite sex4 --,acquire adequate in=mation ab\t sexual behavior4 ,good books are available today 9 ! field ( sex 7note bibliography 9 ! back ( ?is book74 --,ev5 bull sessions c be helpful ?\gh mu* ( ! in=mation y w he> may be errone\s or inadequate4 ,! fre$om ( expression 9 ! sessions & ! opportunity to talk help "o feel less repress$ & m natural :5 sexual matt]s come up4 ,all "y unm>ri$ p %\ld realize t ! sexual emotion is j z mu* a hung] z a hung] = food & t 9 m>riage _! p]sonality is enri*$ :5 ! sexual hung] is satisfi$4 ,:ile all ?is association ) ! opposite sex is go+ on1 ! girl or "y man is le>n+ :at k9d ( a mate he wants 9 m>riage4 ,x is only ?r\gh ^! exp]i5ces 7/>t+ ) puppy love7 t !y beg9 to set /&>ds & qualifications ( ! p]sons !y w\ld l to m>ry4 ,! typical boy or girl ne$s to date a good _m p]sons be=e !y "k ! k9d !y w\ld l to h z a mate1 to decide ^u ! m9imum /&>ds !y wi%4 ,9 go+ ) "o girl ! boy le>ns to appreciate music & decides he wants a wife :o c play ! piano4 ,9 go+ ) ano!r girl he f9ds he wants a girl :o is brunette1 :o is reasonably tall1 :o is relatively slim4 ,9 go+ ) a ?ird girl he discov]s he wants a p]son :o has z mu* education z he does & :o is int]e/$ at lea/ politely ) me*anical ?+s1 :i* happ5 to be 8 passion4 ,9 go+ ) /ill ano!r girl he discov]s t x is important to him = h] to h control ( h] temp]1 to be fri5dly to p1 to be graci\s 9 mann]1 to be k9d & consid]ate4 ,& s x goes4 ,x is only ?r\gh su* exp]i5ces t a man gradually le>ns :at he wants 9 a wife & :at is important to him4 ,9 contra/1 x is ignorance ( :at "o wants t may prev5t y f ev] a*iev+ a happy m>riage4 ,n kn[+ :at y want or ne$1 y may m>ry ! fir/ p]son ) :om y become infatuat$4 ,today !re are ne>ly tw5ty-five ?\s& diff]5t occupations 9 ! c\ntry4 ,m p are complet+ high s*ool--& college--?an ev] be=e 9 hi/ory4 ,! radio & automobile h broad5$ man's horizon4 ,?us = ! man today a selection ( a wife f among a half-doz5 girls :om he has kn[n w\ld be a haz>d\s selection4 ,z we h said be=e1 he w\ld ne$ to "k at lea/ tw5ty-five eligible s+le girls--& date at lea/ a doz5 ( !m--be=e he c\ld be fairly sure ( f9d+ "o t w\ld meet 8 wants & ne$s4 ,*apt] ,,vi ,sex ,adv5tur+ ,9 ! c\rse ( look+ ov] ! field = mates a l>ge "p ( our "y p become involv$ 9 bodily pett+ & complete intimacy4 ,h[ widespread are su* prem>ital sex relations8 ,all ! factual /udies w\ld indicate t !re has be5 a /eady increase4 ,dr4 ,l4 ,m4 ,t]man1 ^: book ,psy*ological ,factors 9 ,m>ital ,happ9ess1 publi%$ 9 #aich1 reports a /udy he made ( #gib c\ples1 concludes3 8,! tr5d t[>d prem>ital sex exp]i5ce is proce$+ ) extraord9>y rapidity40 ,( old] c\ples :o m>ri$ ar\nd #aiaj1 he f\nd fifty p] c5t ( ! m5 & eighty-sev5 p] c5t ( ! wom5 _h be5 virg9s at ! "t ( m>riage4 ,9 contra/1 ( ^? :o m>ri$ ab\t t5 ye>s ago only f\rte5 p] c5t ( ! m5 & ?irty-two p] c5t ( ! wom5 7 virg9s at m>riage4 ,dr4 ,t]man pr$ict$3 8,if ! drop %\ld cont9ue at ! av]age rate %[n 444 virg9ity at m>riage w be close to ! vani%+ po9t0 = males m>ry+ aft] #aiee & = girls m>ry+ aft] #aifj4 ,x's a r>e high s*ool n[adays t doesn't h an occasional pregnant girl1 unm>ri$1 9 its mid/4 ,9 "o city m ?an two hundr$ su* pregnancies occurr$ la/ ye>4 ,mo/ ( ! sexual exp]i5ces today--especially = girls--are ) p !y ev5tually m>ry4 ,b ev5 9 ?is respect ! tr5d indicates t m & m "y p are hav+ int]c\rse ) p]sons !y d n m>ry ?an has ev] be5 true be=e 9 our hi/ory4 ,! tr5d is m pron\nc$ = m5 ?an x is = girls4 ,?is c be und]/ood 9 view ( ! fact t x is ! woman :o gets pregnant1 & n ! man4 ,( c\ples m>ry+ today1 a relatively high p]c5tage h complete physical intimacy be=e ! w$d+ night4 ,! rate seems to be high] among ! l[] economic classes ?an 9 ! high] levels4 ,?is does n mean ! morals ( ! upp] classes are high] b probably is due to ! fact t girls 9 ! upp] gr\p--:o h liv$ at wom5's or o!r colleges--h m inhibitions4 ,aft] m>riage !y (t5 h great] tr\ble hav+ climactic sexual exp]i5ce ?an girls :o only w5t to high s*ool1 because ( ^! inhibitions4 ,probably less ?an "o-?ird ( su* wives regul>ly exp]i5ce orgasm4 ,:y has prem>ital intimacy become m widespread 9 rec5t ye>s8 ,!re appe> to be sev]al major explanations3 --,! t5sions ( two w>s & a major depression :i* l$ to po/ponem5t ( m>riage b n necess>ily to po/ponem5t ( gratification4 ,also dur+ ! w> _m girls ?rew _! ideals to ! w9d 9 an attempt to f9d or give happ9ess on a fri5d's la/ furl\gh4 --,religion is n z mu* conc]n$ ) sexual taboos today z x 0 a g5]ation ago4 --,we h remov$ *ap]onage & p>5ts g5]ally are m tol]ant ( _! *ildr5's behavior & build 9 !m few] repressions ?an 9 pa/ ye>s4 --,! widespread dissem9ation ( bir?-control in=mation & ! improv$ te*niques 9 prev5t+ v5]eal disease h r$uc$ ! p5alties ( indulg5ce4 --,our p are m mobile today s t x is possible = a "y c\ple to exp]im5t sexually ) less likelihood t _! p>5ts w f9d out ab\t !m4 ,boys h access to automobiles 9 :i* !y c take girls to seclud$ spots4 ,hotels h relax$ _! re/rictions ab\t v]ify+ ! 8,mr4 & ,mrs40 ( c\ples :o regi/]4 ,t\ri/ camps r>ely _h any re/rictions to />t )4 ,f9ally ! w> took millions ( our "y p away f _! home communities4 ,9 %ort1 ! old controls ( society h relax$ or are 9 ! process ( break+ d[n4 ,! same is true 9 ,great ,brita9 :]e /udies dur+ ! w> indicat$ t "o out ( e ?ree bir?s 0 conceiv$ prior to m>riage4 ,:ile "y m5 engage 9 intimacies because ( ! hormones puls+ ?r\gh _! bodies & because x makes !m feel m 8gr[n up10 girls engage = some:at diff]5t reasons1 ?\gh ?rill is a factor4 ,girls 9 _! te5s d n h ne>ly z high a sex drive z boys ( ! same age4 ,:]eas a man rea*es ! height ( 8 sexual vigor at ar\nd eighte51 a girl does n rea* h]s until ar\nd tw5ty-eight4 ,?is is l>gely because ( ! diff]5t condition+ boys & girls get4 ,girls lead m %elt]$1 gu>d$ lives & ?us develop _m m repressions & inhibitions ab\t sex ?an m54 ,mo/ girls :o />t to pet 9 _! te5s d s because !y are afraid !y won't be ask$ = dates if !y don't pet4 ,!y give kisses z rew>ds to ! boy = tak+ !m to ! dance4 ,x is believ$ t at lea/ "o-half ( female sex del9qu5ts get little or no pleasure f ! sex activity4 ,!y indulge prim>ily to get some?+ else !y want3 ! pre/ige & pleasure ( hav+ dates4 ,?is behavior puts sex on a v l[ plane4 ,! pro/itute h]self is r>ely motivat$ by excessive sex feel+4 ,r %e does x to obta9 c]ta9 o!r ?+s %e consid]s important1 su* z sp5d+ money1 g[ns1 cosmetics1 etc4 ,"s girls ?9k t because ( ! surplus ( wom5 ov] m5 !y mu/ be aggressive if !y are to get dates1 & consid] bold pett+ "o ( ! mo/ effective te*niques ( aggression4 ,actually aggression ( any k9d usually has an adv]se effect on a man1 & ! emotions g5]at$ 9 ! girl by pett+ may lead to a s5se ( insecurity & a feel+ ( fru/ration4 ,x w\ld be po9tless to advise t "y p %\ld nev] neck or pet1 because ! facts %[ t ! va/ majority ( "y p engage 9 neck+ & pett+ to "s ext5t4 ,b :at c be said = & aga9/ unm>ri$ c\ples practic+ complete physical intimacy be=e m>riage8 ,:at argum5ts h be5 advanc$ 9 favor ( x8 ,fir/ we h he>d x said t prem>ital sexual relations assi/ 9 ! wise *oice ( a mate4 ,y "k :at y are gett+4 ,y w "k bett] :e!r y & ! mate w\ld be compatible sexually4 ,"o religi\s sect 9 ?is c\ntry takes a unique view on prem>ital exp]i5ce4 ,c\ples d n m>ry until a *ild is conceiv$4 ,9 ?is way ! groom-to-be c re/ assur$ 8 bride-to-be c be> him *ildr54 ,! tr\ble "h is t _m prem>ital sex exp]i5ces ( ! mod]n c\ple are engag$ 9 "u circum/ances t are h>dly favorable to ! fl[]+ ( sexual desires & _! satisfaction4 ,:5 intimacy is accompani$ by feel+s ( fe> or guilt or %ame--z is frequ5tly ! case 9 prem>ital affairs--p]man5t sc>s are left on ! p>ticipants4 ,usually a p]son c get j z accurate a clue ( :at m>ri$ love w\ld be ) a specific individual by pett+ & conv]sation r ?an by complete intimacy ) its usual aft]ma? ( %ame & guilt4 ,ano!r argum5t (t5 m5tion$ 9 favor ( prem>ital sex relations is t x is dang]\s to "o's heal? to wait4 ,?is argum5t is bas$ on ! well-kn[n fact t mo/ "y p are mature en\gh physically to m>ry sev]al ye>s be=e economic factors make m>riage advisable4 ,s :y )] away :ile wait+8 ,!y po9t to ! sp9/]s :o %rivel up = lack ( love4 ,?is is only a half tru? because1 z y w see lat] 9 ?is *apt]1 !re are o!r outlets = sexual feel+ available 9 addition to coitus4 ,^! may n be z pleasurable b !y are virtually z effective4 ,! )]$ sp9/]s are t way because !y employ no outlets :atsoev]4 ,on ! o!r side--! reasons :y complete intimacy is ill-advis$ be=e m>riage--we h fir/ ( all ! fact t society fr[ns on su* intimacy4 ,ev5 ?\gh ! practice is widespread x is /ill illicit love1 ) all ! psy*ological problems x involves4 ,! idea t ! bride & groom be virg9s at ! />t ( _! m>riage is ! product ( ! exp]i5ce ( mo/ civiliz$ peoples4 ,t 9 itself %\ld mean some?+4 ,undiscipl9$ sexual expression has always be5 f\nd to be de/ructive to ! social gr\p t p]mits x to take place4 ,next1 :ile x c be s]i\sly debat$ :e!r complete intimacy hurts or helps an engag$ c\ple plann+ e>ly m>riage1 !re is no "q h[ x affects p]sons indulg+ on a casual basis4 ,we h au?oritative in=mation on ?is po9t4 ,9 "o c>efully conduct$ rese>*1 ! records ( tw5ty-five girls 7 pick$ at r&om--girls :o1 accord+ to _! te/ scor+s1 7 unconv5tional & g5]ally un/able emotionally4 ,^! girls 7 c>efully int]view$4 ,( ! tw5ty-five1 tw5ty-"o admitt$ to ! c\nselors t !y _h be5 intimate ) "o or m m5 dur+ ! prec$+ two ye>s6 ,t is p]suasive pro( t promiscu\s p]sons are usually also un/able emotionally4 ,& be+ un/able emotionally !y are v poor prospects = m>riage4 ,f9ally "h are "s specific dang]s t e p]son consid]+ complete intimacy be=e m>riage %\ld be aw>e (3 --,possible pregnancy1 & a =c$ & ha/y m>riage4 --,if ! *ild is abort$ ! possibility ( p]man5t /]ility or o!r injury mu/ n be =gott54 --,! probability t ! illicit relation%ip may become kn[n to memb]s ( y\r social gr\p1 if n to y\r p>5ts4 --,probability t ev5 ?\gh tempor>y relief f sexual t5sion is a*iev$ y may suff] f feel+s ( %ame1 guilt1 or remorse4 --,possibility t y\r future sp\se may discov] t y h _h sexual relations ) ano!r p]son4 ,x may prey on 8 or h] m9d despite ! fact t he goes ?r\gh ) ! m>riage4 --,! possibility t ! intimacy is practic$ "u conditions s n]ve-rack+ & undesirable t !y *eap5 ! mean+ ( ! act4 --,! risk ( v5]eal disease4 --,! possibility--if y are a girl--t ! relation%ip is exploitive4 ,p]haps ! man is seek+ 8 own satisfaction ) little reg>d = ! girl or h] feel+s4 ,aft] ^? w>n+s reg>d+ complete intimacy are giv5 we w\ld l to make x cle> t prem>ital kiss+ & pett+ d h a legitimate function4 ,rec5tly a nurse tra9ee came to ! ,p5n ,/ate cl9ic2 %e 0 ov]wr\ght4 ,%e said h] curr5t boy fri5d _h laid 8 h& across h] brea/4 ,_h %e be5 prudi% 9 becom+ upset8 ,%e 0 assur$ t %e hadn't be54 ,b %e 0 urg$ n to let ! incid5t drive h] to alo(ness4 ,frigidness c wreck "o's *ances = a happy m>riage j z surely z promiscuity4 ,x is entirely natural = a mutually attract$ "y c\ple to desire to c>ess ea* o!r4 ,x is "o ( nature's te*niques = enc\rag+ mat+4 ,)\t x we w\ld h few] m>riages--& *ildr54 ,x is h>mful only :5 ! atta*m5t betwe5 ! two p is completely sexual & !y ru% into an e>ly m>riage1 or into int]c\rse )\t m>riage4 ,take = example ,doro?y & ,bob1 :o want$ "s la/-m9ute advice be=e m>ry+4 ,obvi\sly !y 7 crazy ab\t ea* o!r4 ,to !m a kiss or embrace 0 a way to convey _! adoration4 ,ev]y?+ po9t$ to _! be+ truly 9 love & ! te/s %[$ !m to be well-mat*$4 ,to d5y !m su* expression ( affection :5 toge!r w\ld n only fru/rate _! love b might ev5 impair _! adju/m5t 9 m>riage4 ,_! k9d ( innoc5t pett+ h[ev] %\ld n be confus$ ) ! 8exploitive0 k9d practic$ by a /ud5t we'll call ,hale4 ,he said q casually t he 8loves 'em & leaves 'em40 ,inve/igation %[$ t 0 precisely :at he did4 ,& :ile he 0 app>5tly n z irresi/ible z he impli$1 he did f9d "s girls to jo9 him 9 8 sex adv5tur+4 ,"s navely fell = 8 l9e4 ,o!rs jo9$ 9 q frankly = ! ?rill involv$ 9 explor+ ea* o!r4 ,bo? ,hale & two ( ! promiscu\s girls involv$ %[$ 9 _! te/s /rong traces ( emotional in/ability :i* w\ld make !m poor m>riage prospects4 ,be=e a girl becomes involv$ 9 any pett+ %e %\ld make sure 9 h] own m9d t x is n ! 8exploitive0 k9d4 ,c>ess+ or pett+ becomes def9itely dang]\s :5 physical contact & /imulation become ends 9 !mselves4 ,9 ! case ( an engag$ c\ple 9 love ! intimacy is n j an end 9 itself b an expression ( affection4 ,! important ?+ is t sexual feel+ %\ld develop & gr[ out ( ! fri5d%ip & c\rt%ip ( two p1 x %\ld n be ! initial basis = x4 ,!re is likely to be exploitation involv$ if a c\ple feel impell$ to engage 9 pett+ dur+ ! fir/ few dates4 ,pett+ is progressive & c c>ry a c\ple mu* fur!r ?an !y int5d to g4 ,t is ! big dang]4 ,ideally a c\ple %\ld m>ry :5 _! fri5d%ip & c\rt%ip h develop$ 9 !m su* /rong sexual feel+s t[>d ea* o!r t !re is a physical & psy*ological ne$ = satisfaction4 ,?is is :y society is m tol]ant ( pett+ aft] a c\ple become engag$4 ,x is nature's prep>ation = m>riage4 ,! tr\ble ( c\rse is 9 ! s]i\s lag involv$ betwe5 ! "t a c\ple may be ripe physically = m>riage & ! "t !y are prep>$ vocationally & emotionally to m>ry4 ,we /ill h our *ild brides 9 backwoods areas b mo/ mod]n ,am]icans d n consid] x feasible to m>ry until !y are well 9 _! tw5ties4 ,& 9 our civilization t is prop]4 ,b x does impose s]i\s temptations on ! p :o h to wait4 ,f ! "t !y pass out ( adolesc5ce "y p--especially m5--ne$ outlets = ! sexual t5sions build+ up )9 !m4 ,!re seems little d\bt to u t refra9+ f any sort ( sexual expression does impair "o's psy*ological balance & m5tal heal?4 ,p]sonality c be damag$ & physical heal? may be damag$4 ,b if we rule out climactic sexual relations ) ano!r p]son :at alt]natives are left8 ,!re are ?ree major =ms ?is c take4 --,climaxes 9 ! dream _w4 ,?is is mo/ common ) m5 & produces _! nocturnal emissions4 --,sub/itution4 ,?is usually means ma/urbation4 ,_m p ?9k t ma/urbation is a s91 t x w produce insanity1 t x leads to sk9 blemi%es or pimples1 t x is some?+ disgu/+ or fil?y1 t x /unts y\r gr[?4 ,all ! evid5ce indicates t none ( ^! is true4 ,a not$ psy*iatri/1 ,o4 ,spurgeon ,engli%1 rec5tly said3 8,mo/ all psy*iatri/s1 psy*ologi/s1 & educators today reg>d ma/urbation z a normal ph5om5on 444 indulg$ 9 to "s degree by all human be+s dur+ ! c\rse ( _! developm5t40 ,z we see x1 ma/urbation is a relatively h>mless me?od ( r$uc+ t5sion provid+ feel+s ( guilt & %ame are n connect$ ) x & provid+ ( c\rse t x is n done excessively4 --,sublimation4 ,y 8sublimate0 a sexual hung]1 or h&le x on a 8high0 socially approv$ plane by su* ?+s z danc+ & associat+ a great deal ) p]sons ( ! o!r sex4 ,a "y p]son is greatly help$ 9 ?is if he is p]mitt$ to date at an e>ly age 7fifte5 is n too "y7 & enc\rag$ to br+ 8 date to 8 home4 ,sublimation _c r$uce sexual hung] b x helps to take y\r m9d (f x4 ,if !re is no outlet = ^! feel+s ?r\gh normal & natural associations ) ! opposite sex & if p>5tal in/ruction on sex has be5 inadequate1 really abnormal sex behavior may result4 ,! mo/ common =m ( maldevelopm5t probably is homosexuality4 ,x 0 once believ$ t homosexuals 7 8born t way40 ,b n[ x is kn[n t ! great majority ( !m1 male & female1 are normal 9 a bodily s5se4 ,_! abnormal behavior is cle>ly ! result ( un=tunate condition+4 ,p]haps a boy 0 pamp]$ too mu* z a *ild & has _h little *ance to m+le ) ! o!r sex1 & !n is rebuff$ :5 he attempts to make dates because he seems namby-pamby or effem9ate4 ,:ile be+ =c$ away f associat+ ) girls ! hormones are be+ p\r$ into 8 blood /ream4 ,! boy becomes t5se )\t realiz+ :y & )\t any outlet to r$uce ! t5sion4 ,bit by bit he may turn to p]sons ( 8 own sex = sexual satisfaction1 fir/ p]haps ?r\gh mutual ma/urbation & f9ally ?r\gh homosexuality4 ,x is kn[n t !re is mu* m homosexuality 9 girls' or boys' s*ools ?an !re is at co-educational in/itutions4 ,"o /udy %[$ t "o-?ird ( m>ri$ wom5 h _h at "s "t 9 _! unm>ri$ days int5se emotional relations ) o!r wom51 ev5 ?\gh "s did n recognize ! behavior z sexual 9 "*4 ,!re is e reason to believe t m wom5 engage 9 homosexual behavior ?an is true ( m54 ,?is is und]/&able 9 view ( ! fact t expressions ( affection betwe5 wom5 are mu* m acceptable ?an is true ( expressions ( affection betwe5 m54 ,nobody ?9ks any?+ ( two wom5 greet+ ea* o!r ) a kiss1 walk+ h& 9 h& or ) arms clasp$ ab\t ea* o!r4 ,m5 w\ld be look$ ^u suspici\sly if !y engag$ 9 any su* behavior4 ,/ill o!r abnormal outlets sexual feel+ w take if x is n provid$ ) normal or acceptable =ms ( expression are3 --,voyeurism1 or 8,peep+ ,tom0 behavior1 br\ght ab\t by curiosity ab\t sexual behavior ( o!r individuals because ! p]son is repress$ & lacks sexual in=mation himself4 --,feti%ism1 :i* produces an unnatural sex atta*m5t to objects r ?an p]sons4 ,! objects may be %oes1 hair curls1 we>+ app>el4 ,! possession & fondl+ ( su* articles create ar\sal & satisfaction ( sex feel+s4 --,p$ophilia1 or unnatural atta*m5t = *ildr51 p]haps because x (f]s !m a 8safe0 way to inspect & c>ess human anatomy4 --,sadism & maso*ism4 ,! fir/ feel+ comes f inflict+ pa9 on ano!r1 ! second f hav+ pa9 inflict$ on "o's self4 ,?is involves ! s5sual feel+ ( pleasure-aft]-pa9 :i* we h already m5tion$4 ,b to get back to ! problem ( f9d+ socially approv$ outlets = sexual feel+ be=e m>riage4 ,we w\ld advise c\ples rigor\sly to refra9 f direct sexual /imulation & o!r bel[-!-%\ld] pett+ until m>riage is fairly imm95t if !y hope to ab/a9 f int]c\rse be=e m>riage4 ,! excitation ( su* pett+ is apt to swirl a c\ple into complete intimacy despite _! be/ int5tions n to g t f>4 ,we w\ld n und]take to advise "y p h[ f> !y %\ld g 9 _! pett+1 b feel t e "y p]son--z a "p ( 8 or h] p]sonal philosophy ( life--%\ld decide j :at 8 limits %\ld be4 ,:5 ! limit is set "h are "s h9ts on h[ to make x /ick4 --,res]ve ev5 y\r good-night kisses = p y are g5u9ely fond (4 ,a girl %\ld n *eap5 !m by lett+ a casual date lead h] to ! dav5port to collect a rew>d = tak+ h] out4 ,& don't fall into ! error ( ?9k+ t free-&-easy pett+ w increase y\r popul>ity4 ,x won't except ) p :o w\ld make un/able mates anyway4 --,limit c>efully ! "t y are alone ) a p]son ( ! o!r sex "u romantic conditions4 ,x is almo/ a 8rule ( love0 t ! long] a c\ple are alone ) no?+ mu* to d1 ! great] ! likelihood !y w pet4 ,sev]al college girls tell u !y nev] agree f9ally to a date until !y are sure !re w be some?+ def9ite to d--g to ! movies1 dance or play g9 rummy4 ,if p>5ts or s*ool au?orities set a "t limit = y to be home !y are really do+ y a favor4 --,le>n to s5se :5 ei!r is becom+ physically ar\s$ & /op4 ,aga9 college girls tell u t :5 !y recognize ! dang] signals !y sugge/ to ! man t !y dance1 g = a soda or take a walk4 --,le>n t alcoholic bev]ages may relax y\r inhibitions to ! po9t :]e y w g mu* fur!r ?an y int5d$4 ,t is :y "s p wisely refra9 f dr9k+ or limit !mselves sev]ely :ile on a date4 ,,are ,,y ,,w>m ,,or ,,cool ,,by ,,nature8 ,"s p respond to _! mates ) a great] int5sity ( emotion ?an d o!rs4 ,?is te/ %\ld reveal y\r own responsiv5ess4 #a4 ,7 y re>$ 9 an affectionate family8 ,yes ,no #b4 ,d y become excit$ at a close football or baseball mat*8 ,yes ,no #c4 ,are y /rongly mov$ by s5tim5tal music or a romantic movie8 ,yes ,no #d4 ,:5 fri5ds are away a week d y feel _! abs5ce a great deal8 ,yes ,no #e4 ,d y h a wide circle ( acqua9tances & fri5ds8 ,yes ,no #f4 ,does x help y to take y\r tr\bles to fri5ds8 ,& d y want !m to br+ _! tr\bles to y8 ,yes ,no #g4 ,are y fond ( *ildr58 ,yes ,no #h4 ,d y complim5t o!rs frequ5tly--& s9c]ely8 ,yes ,no #i4 ,does x di/ress y to see someone 9 pa98 ,yes ,no #aj4 ,d y feel y are actively affectionate ) ! p]son ( ! opposite sex t y l be/8 ,yes ,no #aa4 ,d y f$ y are free f repressions8 ,yes ,no #ab4 ,:5 y\r feel+s are hurt d y get ov] ! hurt quickly8 ,yes ,no #ac4 ,d y p>ticipate 9 two or ?ree social organizations8 ,yes ,no #ad4 ,d y f9d x easy to mix ) casual acqua9tances8 ,yes ,no #ae4 ,9 associat+ ) p ( ! opposite sex are y op5 & natural r ?an /&-(fi%8 ,yes ,no #af4 ,d y consid] y\rself well-adju/$ sexually8 ,yes ,no #ag4 ,d y l to look aft] a sick p]son8 ,yes ,no #ah4 ,7 y\r own p>5ts affectionate8 ,yes ,no ,if y answ]$ yes to fifte5 or m ( ^! y are a w>m1 ard5t p]son & %\ld be able to "w out a satisfy+ sexual adju/m5t 9 m>riage4 ,if y answ]$ yes to n9e or less y appe> to be res]v$ & cool by nature4 ,y\r be/ *ance 9 m>riage w be ) a p]son ( simil> disposition4 ,*apt] ,,vii ,d ,y ,fright5 ,possible ,mates ,away8 ,gett+ along ) ! o!r sex is "o ( ! mo/ important skills y w ev] le>n--if y d le>n x4 ,if y fail to a*ieve a good adju/m5t x w %[ up 9 o!r aspects ( y\r life4 ,failure to get along ) o!rs is und\bt$ly "o ( ! bigge/ reasons :y p fail at _! jobs4 ,f> m p are dropp$ f _! positions or are pass$ ov] 9 aw>d+ promotions because ( p]sonality inadequacies ?an are dropp$ because ( te*nical incompet5ce4 ,! p]son :o c't get along well on a job is usually n a good risk 9 m>riage4 ,& ! p]son :o _c get along ) acqua9tances is usually n a good risk = a job or = m>riage4 ,likewise1 :5 y f9d a happily m>ri$ p]son y w also usually f9d a p]son :o is happy 9 8 "w & 9 8 social contacts4 ,& :e!r or n y get along ) p--p>ticul>ly ( ! o!r sex--dep5ds prim>ily ^u ! sort ( tra9+ y _h 9 *ildhood4 ,pr(essor ,t]man f\nd t happily m>ri$ p 7 p ^: own p>5ts _h be5 happily m>ri$ 444 7 p :o _h a great deal ( love & affection = _! p>5ts 444 7 p :o _h be5 puni%$ only mildly & infrequ5tly by _! p>5ts & _h be5 discipl9$ firmly b n h>%ly4 ,x is n impossible to replace bad traits ) good b x w become increas+ly difficult ) ea* pass+ ye>4 ,h[ d y impress p ( ! o!r sex8 ,did y ev] /op to ask y\rself t8 ,to f9d ! answ] y w h to adopt ! attitude ,socrates is alleg$ to h recomm5d$3 8,"k ?yself40 ,h y ev] /opp$ to make an inv5tory ( y\r assets & liabilities8 ,p]haps y h traits :i* y h liv$ ) s long t y ar5't aw>e ( !m1 b :i* greatly annoy p y want to "k bett]4 ,or p]haps ! traits are n d[nright (f5sive b weak5 y\r appeal4 ,! te/ 9 ?is *apt]1 8,d ,y ,h a ,negative or ,positive ,p]sonality80 may help y 9 mak+ an inv5tory4 ,if y feel some?+ is hold+ y back f popul>ity ) ! o!r sex try to get to ! root ( y\r tr\ble4 ,if p d n ask y out1 :y don't !y8 ,if "s dislike or avoid y1 :at is ! explanation8 ,if "s p seem m]ely to tol]ate y1 :at is ! tr\ble8 ,if y feel y d n h z mu* influ5ce 9 y\r gr\p z y w\ld l to1 :at is und]m9+ y\r influ5ce8 ,bel[ we are go+ to po9t out a doz5 ( ! major tr\ble-mak+ *>act]i/ics4 ,p]haps "s ( !m may apply to y4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,d ,,y ,,feel ,,uncom=table ,,9 ,,! ,,pres5ce ,,( ,,! ,,opposite ,,sex8 ,p]haps y are haunt$ by deep feel+s ( inf]iority1 feel+s :i* may come f y\r lack ( association--comp>$ to o!r p]sons y\r own age--) ! opposite sex1 or p]haps y h be5 ?r[n into a m 8sophi/icat$0 gr\p ?an y 7 accu/om$ to4 ,ano!r possibility is t y lack ! k to int]m+le suavely4 ,p]haps y /ill feel clumsy--& mu/ wat* y\r feet--:ile danc+4 ,p]haps y dread ! c]emony ( introduc+ p because y are vague on ! etiquette involv$4 ,p]haps y are n sure y are dress$ appropriately = ! occasion4 ,p]haps y don't "k :5 to use ! "r =k or spoon4 ,p]haps y are n q sure h[ to act 9 say+ good night to a date1 or h[ to ?ank a ho/ess = a delightful ev5+4 ,! answ] to ?is type ( problem is simple4 ,if y feel ill at ease because y feel y are a poor danc]1 !n le>n to be a bett] danc]4 ,take lessons1 or simply practice on y\r own liv+-room floor4 ,if x is etiquette t bo!rs y read any ( a doz5 books on ! subject1 & wat* c>efully h[ o!rs ar\nd y behave4 ,"o m ?+--if y are haunt$ by feel+s ( inf]iority1 le>n to d "s "o ?+ sup]latively well1 ev5 if x is only table t5nis or g9 rummy4 ,?is w br+ y recognition f ! gr\p & ease y\r feel+s ( self-consci\sness4 ,g5]al ,eis5h[] has said t self-confid5ce is ! greate/ asset "o c h 9 ! _w4 ,john ,p[]s1 orig9ator ( ! fam$ ,p[]s ,model ,ag5cy1 tells 8 new models t ! bigge/ ?+ !y h to le>n is self-assurance1 & he quotes to !m ,g5]al ,eis5h[]'s rem>k4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,are ,,y ,,alo(8 ,_m "y p1 aft] !y h be5 bruis$ a c\ple ( times 9 _! e>ly contacts ) ! opposite sex1 wrap _! ego up 9 a protective %ell s t no "o c hurt !m aga94 ,o!r p1 p>ticul>ly girls1 want to be dat$ s badly & feel s anxi\s ab\t n be+ dat$ m t !y 8freeze0 :5 anyone approa*es !m = a date4 ,!y are anxi\s n to appe> ov]-anxi\s1 & aga9 alo(ness results4 ,f9ally1 girls :o tea* (t5 fright5 m5 away ?r\gh _! alo(ness4 ,! tea*] (t5 c>ries into h] dat+1 unconsci\sly1 ! res]ve %e develops 9 ! classroom = discipl9>y reasons4 ,:atev] ! s\rce ( ! alo(ness1 ! attitude is int]pret$ by ! opposite sex z coldness & indiff]5ce4 ,possible dates are fright5$ away because y appe> unapproa*able & p]haps a bit haughty4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,d ,,y ,,h ,a 8,,l[ ,,boil+ ,,po9t0 ,,emotionally8 ,"s ( u h built up emotional habits t prev5t u f gett+ along ) p]sons ( ! opposite sex4 ,we habitually lose our temp]s1 act rudely1 %[ our anxieties1 or g to pieces4 ,!y lead inevitably to qu>rels ) our boy fri5ds or girl fri5ds4 ,if y are easily upset by fru/rations or ang] y f9d y\rself involv$ 9 temp] outbur/s & pr(anity1 bo? ( :i* are highly repell+ to anyone 9 ! opposite sex int]e/$ 9 y4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,d ,,y ,,daydream ,,frequ5tly8 ,! daydream+ itself does n annoy o!rs1 b daydream+ holds y back f appe>+ at y\r be/4 ,daydream+ is usually simply ! imag9>y repres5tation ( satisfactions y d n a*ieve 9 real life4 ,:5 y let y\r daydreams become a sub/itute = real a*ievem5t1 y\r p]sonality is def9itely slipp+ & ! outcome may be dang]\s4 ,if y mu/ daydream1 make x planful4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,d ,,y ,,(t5 ,,compla9 ,,ab\t ,,y\r ,,heal?8 ,x is bad en\gh = y\r m>riage prospects to appe> unheal?y4 ,x is ev5 worse if y compla9 ( y\r a*es & pa9s4 ,y n only br+ ! o!r p]son's att5tion ev5 m on y\r %ort-com+s1 b reveal y\rself to be some?+ ( a hypo*ondriac1 :o is def9$ 9 ,web/]'s diction>y z a p]son suff]+ f 8a m5tal disord] *>act]iz$ by morbid anxiety z to ! pati5t's heal?44440 99 99 99 99 99 ,,d ,,y ,,blame ,,y\r ,,tr\bles ,,& ,,mi/akes ,,on ,,o!rs8 ,?is is "o ( ! mo/ vici\s m5tal habits "o c get into4 ,psy*ologi/s call x ! habit ( 8projection40 ,y project y\r failures ^u somebody else4 ,! boy says he is n able to get along ) girls because 8 fa!r w n let him h ! c>4 ,! girl blames h] failure to h dates ^u h] "m = n giv+ h] ! "r k9d ( clo!s4 ,su* a habit is mu* m s]i\s ?an fir/ appe>s4 ,9 ! fir/ place1 "o's li/5]s are n fool$ by su* projections1 & 9 ! second place ! individual :o gets into su* a habit fails to pr(it by 8 mi/akes4 ,?us he loses opportunity = mak+ improvem5t4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,are ,,y ,,intol]ant ,,( ,,p ,,:o ,,are ,,n ,,l ,,y8 ,broadm9d$ness or tol]ance is a trait we mu/ h if p are to l u4 ,to be broadm9d$ or tol]ant1 y usually ne$ to be bo? intellig5t & well in=m$4 ,intol]ance & bigotry are ei!r bas$ on ignorance ( o!r p or on a m9d t kn[s ! facts b is all twi/$ up4 ,"o %\ld n confuse broadm9d$ness ) l[ /&>ds & ideals4 ,a broadm9d$ p]son may be tol]ant ( an individual ^: own /&>ds are l[ ev5 ?\gh ! broadm9d$ p]son tries to live by practical1 reali/ic & dec5t /&>ds4 ,y c be an un*ang+ believ] 9 a p>ticul> religion or be an inv>iable foll[] ( "o political p>ty1 b at lea/ y %\ld keep f ramm+ y\r p]sonal views d[n ! ?roats ( o!rs4 ,:5 y voice intol]ances y usually antagonize acqua9tances :o are />tl$ by y\r n>r[ views4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,are ,,y ,,argum5tative8 ,_m p]sons1 because ( _! biases or prejudices or emotional t5sion1 con/antly want to argue4 ,!y hope by argu+ to conv9ce o!rs ( ! correctness ( _! own views4 ,! l\d] !y %\t ! m p]suasive _! argum5t--s !y ?9k4 ,actually1 argu+ r>ely ev] conv9ces anyone4 ,& ! "o sure result is t x w create h>d feel+s1 if engag$ 9 vehem5tly4 ,z long z a discussion c rema9 good humor$ & consid]ate1 ) nobody rais+ 8 voice or becom+ agitat$1 wor?-:ile ideas may be ex*ang$4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,d ,,y ,,bore ,,p ,,by ,,y\r ,,talk+8 ,d y *att] inanely or d y annoy p by con/antly talk+ 8%op80 ,"o c talk ab\t "o's job )\t talk+ 8%op40 ,! important diff]5ce is t he talks ab\t ^? aspects ( 8 occupation t w int]e/ an outsid] ) normal curiosity4 ,& he talks ab\t 8 job only if ! li/5] %[s by smil+ or nodd+ 8 head t ! subject intrigues him4 ,be+ able to talk is n ne>ly s important z be+ able to talk 9 a cong5ial way4 ,! cong5ial p]son sees t conv]sations cov] only topics t are mutually int]e/+1 & he avoids talk+ too mu*4 ,fur!r1 he is s5sitive en\gh to cat* ! mood ( ! o!r p]son & is flexible en\gh to jo9 9 t mood4 ,f9ally1 ! cong5ial talk] is s5sitive en\gh to lead ! conv]sation away f subjects t w only br+ conflict4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,are ,,y ,,self-,,c5t]$8 ,p]haps y 7 8spoil$0 z a *ild or are s ri*ly end[$ ) physical *>m or ) tal5t y feel y\rself to be ! c5t] ( ! univ]se4 ,= example1 ! girl may h temp] tantrums 9 public1 %e may humiliate h] escort by bit+ s>casm or deva/at+ scorn4 ,(t5 h] escort simply s]ves z a foil = h] 8brilliance0 or good looks4 ,%e fright5s h] man away because he sees himself go+ ?r\gh life z a planet 9 h] orbit4 ,su* a girl is n seek+ a husb& z su*2 :at %e wants is a backgr\nd = h] own p]sonality4 ,aft] be+ hurt by h] a few times a man runs away & seeks a girl :o w p\r balm on 8 injur$ ego4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,are ,,y ,,aggressive8 ,a man may (f5d dec5t girls by be+ aggressively 8on ! make40 ,a girl may be aggressive by be+ a 8gold-digg]10 & sc>e m5 away by be+ bo? exp5sive & inconsid]ate4 ,or %e may be aggressive simply 9 ! s5se t %e is worri$ ab\t ! %ortage ( males & sets out grimly to get a man be=e x is too late4 ,9 mat*-mak+1 man is jeal\sly pr\d ( 8 role ( pursu] & does n want 8 traditional role usurp$ by ! skirt$ sex4 ,?us mo/ m5 res5t ov]t signs ( aggression by a girl4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,are ,,y ,,repell+ ,,physically8 ,mo/ girls l to h a man :o is tall] ?an !y are4 ,feel+s ( pre/ige are involv$4 ,poor heal?1 extreme tallness or %ortness1 extreme obesity or ?9ness1 v d>k or v light complexion1 poor motor cord9ation1 s]i\sly impair$ vision1 impair$ he>+1 unbecom+ tee?1 body odor1 a g5]al appe>ance ( be+ weak & easily tir$ detract greatly f "o's p]sonality4 ,o!r ?+s t detract are biz>re features su* z tattoos1 ! appe>ance ( be+ "u-sex$4 ,9 g5]al a p]son %\ld nev] be m ?an tw5ty p] c5t ov] or "u ! weight = 8 height4 ,9 ^! days ( mod]n m$ical sci5ce1 pla/ic surg]y1 or?od5ti/ry1 d]matology1 etc41 a girl or man c get rid ( mo/ irregul> features4 ,& ^? t c't be remov$ c be ov]%ad[$4 ,! physical p>alysis ( ! late ,presid5t ,roosevelt did n influ5ce p negatively because ( ! great p]sonal *>m ( ! man4 ,! impairm5t ( he>+ ( ,?omas ,edison did n dim9i% ! respect & lik+ t p _h = 8 g5ius4 ,odor is trem5d\sly important 9 ! impressions t "o makes on o!rs4 ,x is believ$ t "o ( ! reasons m5 l wom5 & wom5 l m5 is t _! respective odors are agreeable to ea* o!r4 ,halitosis1 p]spiration odors1 clo?+ odors result+ f we>+ clo?+ 9 places ( "w :]e ! air is r$ol5t ) manufactur+ processes1 may ru9 y\r *ances = m>ry+ ! "o y want4 ,almo/ any girl or man :o is 9 good heal?1 :o is will+ to take c>e ( 8 tee?1 :o avoids we>+ clo?+ saturat$ ) occupational odors & :o is c>eful to avoid p]spiration smells c be :olesome & fragrant4 ,p]fume %\ld be us$ to enhance ! true natural body odor ( ! individual & n to mask unpleasant ones4 ,actually1 physical appe>ances r>ely ne$ hurt s]i\sly a p]son's *ances ( m>riage provid+ !y reta9 self-assurance4 ,! tr\ble is t a p]son ) a prom95t nose or big feet is s conc]n$ ab\t ! specific defects t he conv9ces himself he pres5ts an ugly appe>ance4 ,he develops feel+s ( inf]iority1 & t is :]e ! real tr\ble beg9s4 ,! p]son :o holds 8 head up1 :o c look y /raight 9 ! eye1 ^: face is animat$ :5 he talks1 is bett] look+ & bett] lik$ ?an ! individual :o does n d ^! ?+s4 ,! re/ful physical position1 ! al]t face & animat$ expression convey to o!rs ! feel+ t y are pois$4 ,poise & self-confid5ce make up a l>ge "p ( 8good looks40 ,assum+ t aft] read+ ?is *apt] y h conclud$ y h "s bad habits t are hurt+ y\r *ances ( gett+ a desirable mate1 h[ c ! habit be brok58 ,x is n easy4 ,!re are two major ?\ghts to keep 9 m9d 9 try+ to break a habit4 ,fir/1 once y decide to break ! habit1 y mu/ n let any exception occur4 ,! re=m+ drunk>d :o has tr\ble walk+ pa/ b>s kn[s t j "o nip w set (f a *a9 ( violations4 ,! long] he c keep f dr9k+ ! weak] ! urge to dr9k becomes & soon he c pass b>s )\t any tr\ble at all1 & 9 fact ) scorn4 ,! second idea 9 break+ a habit is to sub/itute some?+ 9 ! habit's place4 ,a p]son wants to /op eat+ sweets4 ,sev]al ye>s ago "o ( ! cig>ette manufactur]s sold millions ( cig>ettes by propos+ t a p]son ) a sweet-too? %\ld rea* = a cig>ette in/ead ( a sweet4 ,?is 0 ! pr9ciple ( sub/itution4 ,a sub/itute = a boy :o bites 8 f+]nails may be some?+ l ?is4 ,he c reason3 8,i h a desire to bite my nails b ,i h a bigg] desire n to bite my nails4 ,:ile x is difficult n to bite my nails x is mu* m important t my nails look acceptable if ,i am to get dates4 ,i w\ld r h dates ?an bite my f+]nails40 ,su* a bigg] goal may help y break any habit t (f5ds p y want to impress4 ,girls probably are m conc]n$ ab\t ! impression !y create ?an m54 ,"h is "s advice to wom5 t "o inve/igator1 a man1 (f]$ aft] mak+ a /udy ( ! habits ( wom53 --,don't we> /yles t m5 consid] que]4 --,don't neglect ! romantic illusion4 ,m5 are disillusion$ by su* ?+s z hair curl]s1 awkw>d positions & po/ures1 unattractive s\nds 9 ! ?roat1 mak+ up 9 public4 --,don't fail to answ] a man1 & promptly1 :5 he addresses y2 he may feel slight$ by inatt5tion4 --,don't nag a man4 ,m5 flee to (fice1 club1 o!r wom5--any:]e b :]e ! nagg] is4 --,don't tell (f-color /ories or use co>se language4 ,mo/ m5 res5t !m 9 wom54 --,don't %[ jeal\sy4 ,all m5 abhor a jeal\s woman4 --,don't comp>e y\r male companion unfavorably ) ano!r man4 --,don't giggle1 %riek or o!rwise be l\d to attract 8 att5tion4 ,,d ,,y ,,h ,a ,,negative ,,or ,,positive ,,p]sonality8 ,subtract five po9ts = ea* ( ! repell+ traits y possess4 7,be hone/47 ,& add five po9ts = ea* ( ! appeal+ traits y c hone/ly claim z a consi/5t "p ( y\r p]sonality4 ,,repell+ ,,traits ,,appeal+ ,,traits #a4 ,jeal\s ,broadm9d$ #b4 ,irritable ,loyal to fri5ds #c4 ,unbecom+ tee? ,tru?ful #d4 ,unpleasant body odor ,tol]ant #e4 ,intol]ant ,consid]ate #f4 ,uncom=table 9 gr\ps ,affectionate #g4 ,full ( anxieties ,optimi/ic #h4 ,hot-temp]$ ,good humor$ #i4 ,incl9$ to daydream ,tactful #aj4 ,rude ,g5]\s #aa4 ,blame o!rs = mi%aps ,en?usia/ic #ab4 8,g to pieces0 :5 upset ,ability to accept criticism #ac4 ,bite y\r nails ,admit mi/akes #ad4 ,l\d 9 talk+ ,don't make excuses #ae4 ,pr(ane habitually ,dress appropriately #af4 ,laugh at mi/akes ( o!rs ,possess good heal? #ag4 ,flaunt y\r k ,fri5dly #ah4 ,talk ab\t y\r bad heal? ,modulat$ voice #ai4 ,argum5tative ,reasonable #bj4 ,brusque ,cong5ial conv]sationali/ #ba4 ,aggressive ,neat #bb4 ,uncop]ative ,clean #bc4 ,lack confid5ce 9 self ,correct use ( ,engli% #bd4 ,dom9e]+ ,good po/ure & c>riage #be4 ,selfi% ,high ideals #bf4 ,crude ,consi/5tly dep5dable #bg4 ,egoc5tric 7conceit$7 ,naturalness #bh4 ,gossipy ,frankness #bi4 ,unpr$ictable ,attractive tee? #cj4 ,envi\s ( o!rs ,unselfi% ,if y end$ up ) a negative score y c feel fairly sure t y are be+ h&icapp$ 9 y\r association ) ! o!r sex by an unattractive p]sonality4 ,9 fact if y *eck$ m ?an eight ( ! repell+ *>act]i/ics 7reg>dless ( ! numb] ( appeal+ traits y *eck$7 y h gr\nds = conc]n ab\t ! impression y create4 ,h[ev]1 if y *eck$ five or less ( ! repell+ traits & end$ ) a total positive score ( m ?an "o hundr$ y app>5tly h an unusually appeal+ p]sonality4 ,*apt] ,,viii ,attract+ ! ,"o ,y ,want ,w ,y m>ry ! "o p]son y h met :om y w\ld l mo/ to m>ry1 w y h to be cont5t ) a second *oice1 or w y h no *oice at all8 ,! answ] w dep5d on h[ appeal+ a p]son y are4 ,& frequ5tly t appeal c be enhanc$ by k ( te*niques = w9n+ ! romantic int]e/ ( p]sons ( ! o!r sex4 ,! p]son :o wants to w9 a mate mu/ put ?ree ?\ghts 9 ! prospective mate's head4 ,y mu/ make t p]son feel ! ne$ ( a mate 444 t y are ! p]son :o c be/ fit t ne$ 444 & t ! "t is ripe = m>riage4 ,fir/1 let's consid] "s ( ! ?+s a girl c d to get a man ?9k+ along ^? l9es3 --,%e %\ld talk ab\t ! man's basic ne$s 9 a subtle1 imp]sonal way by discuss+ su* ?+s z good food1 com=table furniture1 fireplaces1 a place :]e "o c br+ fri5ds4 ,%e gets 8 ideas on ! /yle ( home he likes1 & gets 8 ideas ab\t *ildr54 ,%e does all ?is 9 a fri5dly1 optimi/ic way & avoids discuss+ "s ( ! disadvantages t m>riage (t5 entails4 ,vet]ans are p>ticul>ly responsive to su* an approa* because _! %ift+1 de/ructive life z fight+ m5 has fill$ !m ) a pr(\nd desire to settle d[n to a com=table1 creative life4 --,%e appeals to ! man's ye>n+ = ma/]y 7:i* e man has7 by giv+ him ! opportunity to d mo/ ( ! talk+4 ,%e foll[s 8 words ) g5u9e int]e/ & tries to fall 9 ) :atev] mood he is 94 ,& %e en?usia/ically accepts 8 ideas ab\t places to g on dates & ?+s to d4 ,def9itely1 %e m9imizes any mi/akes t he may make1 blames him = no?+ & keeps h] compla9ts to h]self1 or lets !m come out only z fri5dly1 con/ructive sugge/ions4 --,%e makes h]self physically appeal+4 --,%e does n discuss any poor physical heal? %e may h1 nor does %e discuss any bad breaks or h] possible knack = always gett+ into tr\ble4 --,%e lets him get ! impression t o!r m5 are int]e/$ 9 h]1 b makes x pla9 t !y d n int]e/ h] ne>ly z mu* z ?is p>ticul> man4 --,%e does n run d[n o!r girls4 --,%e makes x cle> t %e is sure he mu/ be popul>1 & v successful 9 8 "w4 --,%e talks casually ab\t h] m>ri$ fri5ds & gets across ! idea t !y are t]ribly glad !y m>ri$4 --,%e /rives to make e occasion ) ?is man an enjoyable "o4 --,f9ally %e is n afraid to let him "k t %e likes him & t 8 feel+s t[>d h] matt] a great deal4 ,9 %ort1 ! girl con/antly sets up condition+ situations :i* make ! man feel good inside = hav+ be5 ) h]4 ,soon he'll />t ?9k+ t x w\ld be nice to h t good feel+ inside = ! re/ ( 8 life4 ,t is ! mood 9 :i* proposals g]m9ate4 ,:at are "s ( ! ?+s a man c d to get a girl 9 a receptive mood = a proposal8 ,"h are a few3 --,if he is a %rewd1 practical psy*ologi/ he c detect ! *ief s\rce ( h] feel+s ( inf]iority4 ,mo/ girls feel inf]ior ab\t some?+1 usually some?+ ab\t _! appe>ance s9ce t looms s important to !m4 ,p]haps !y are acutely consci\s ( big h&s or ?ick ankles or m\se-color$ hair4 ,9 su* cases ! man %\ld res]ve 8 mo/ en?usia/ic complim5ts = ^? sites ( anxiety4 ,he does n ne$ to m5tion !m specifically1 b he %\ld ^w ! complim5ts 9 su* a way t ^? features are obvi\sly includ$ 9 8 admiration4 ,! girl w be s grateful t %e w want to be ) ! man z mu* z %e c j to he> him say su* nice ?+s4 --,! man %\ld be 8romantic0 if x kills him4 ,he %\ld rememb] t wom5 inh]5tly are mu* m s5tim5tal ?an m54 ,if x w]5't = fem99e s5tim5t !re nev] w\ld h be5 a ,val5t9e's ,day4 ,! actual sex urge is n z /rong 9 girls z x is 9 m51 s !y are mu* m int]e/$ 9 ! =ms ( c\rt+ ?an 9 sex expression itself4 ,!y want to be told aga9 & aga9 t y adore !m4 --,! man1 if he is adept1 c play effectively on ! girl's feel+ ( insecurity4 ,security is ! mo/ important ?+ 9 ! _w to wom54 ,?\gh girls c make _! own liv+ n[adays1 mo/ ( !m /ill feel _! greate/ *ance = real security lies 9 m>riage4 ,h[ c ! man play on ^! feel+s ( insecurity8--by talk+ to ! girl 9 detail ab\t h] job1 ab\t h] aspirations1 h] plans = ! future4 ,he c accompli% ! same result by ! rev]se te*nique ( talk+ casually & imp]sonally ab\t all ! ?+s t /& = security 9 a woman's m9d4 ,he c analyze h\se plans 9 a magaz9e ) h]2 he c talk ab\t 8 own future at 8 job & ! prospects t "s day he w h a job comm&+ respect & a sub/antial income4 --,! man %\ld be self-assur$ ) ! girl & j a bit ma/]ful4 ,despite all ! fem99e emancipation ( ! pa/ few decades1 wom5 admire he-m5 & sometimes ye>n to be swoop$ up1 :isk$ away & reliev$ ( all _! problems4 --,he %\ld be consid]ate & g5tle ) ! girl & be c>eful t he obs]ves all ! am5ities ( polit5ess4 ,wom5 are m impress$ by etiquette ?an m54 --,he %\ld be c>eful n to reveal any anxieties he has ab\t 8 job or 8 future g5]ally4 --,he %\ld let ! idea seep out t he is n[ 9 a m>riageable /ate ( m9d & t o!r girls seem int]e/$ 9 him4 ,girls h a m fi]cely competitive _s 9 _! mate-seek+ ?an m54 ,= p :o are /ill a little baffl$ ab\t ! :ole bus9ess ( c\rt%ip1 we c pass on a tri$ & true =mula = w9n+ a mate4 ,we h se5 x "w wond]s 9 scores ( cases4 ,! amus+ ?+ is t x 0 n design$ = sn>+ mates b = sn>+ cu/om]s = ,am]ican products su* z refrig]ators4 ,x is sometimes call$ ! ,,aida adv]tis+ =mula1 nam$ f ! fir/ lett]s ( ! =mula's f\r key words--,att5tion1 ,int]e/1 ,desire1 & ,action4 ,to get a p]son to buy a refrig]ator y mu/ fir/ attract 8 att5tion1 !n g5]ate an int]e/1 in/ill a desire to own ! refrig]ator1 & !n give him ! f9al prod t w impel him to g 9 & lay d[n 8 h>d-e>n$ money = ! ma*9e4 ,:5 appli$ to y\r situation1 x involves ^! f\r /ages 9 w9n+ a mate3 ,fir/1 ! prospective mate's att5tion mu/ be direct$ t[>d y4 ,^u notic+ y1 he mu/ see some?+ t w ar\se 8 int]e/4 ,!n he mu/ be /imulat$ to h a desire to "k y bett]4 ,:5 desire is ar\s$ suffici5tly1 action 7agreem5t to m>ry7 results4 ,!re are1 ( c\rse1 _m approa*es to attract+ a p]son's att5tion4 ,a man has m lib]ties "h 9 mak+ himself se5 ?an a girl b let's consid] "s ( ! socially-approv$ approa*es a girl c make4 ,%e c arrange = relatives1 fri5ds & social & bus9ess acqua9tances to introduce m5 to h]4 ,9 ?is h] role c appe> passive4 ,or %e c use ! be-:]e-m5-are approa* by att5d+ p>ties1 meet+s & community affairs :i* by _! v nature br+ h] into contact ) m54 ,aft] w9n+ ! p]son's att5tion--:e!r y are a man or a girl--! be/ way to ar\se 8 or h] int]e/ is ?r\gh conv]sation--& n j any conv]sation4 ,"h out ( ! :ole univ]se is "o p]son be=e y4 ,:at k9d ( p]son is he or %e8 ,:at are 8 or h] int]e/s8 ,unh>ness y\r curiosity & ask fri5dly1 tactful que/ions4 ,& y %\ld make x cle> t y reg>d ! p]son's answ]s z wor?-:ile4 ,emphasize ! y ) su* que/ions z 8,:at d y ?9k ab\t 4440 or 8,y\r idea is ! mo/ s5sible ,i've he>d yet40 ,:e!r y are male or female1 le>n to be a good li/5]1 or r a good int]rogator4 ,lead ! p]son into topics he or %e seems to reli% discuss+1 & if y see fr[ns or looks ( discom=t *ange ! subject4 ,jim may be v mu* int]e/$ 9 photography4 ,he w l y if y ask him que/ions ab\t 8 photography1 :e!r he develops 8 own pictures1 ! k9d ( cam]a he has1 ! unusual pictures he has tak54 ,h[ev]1 y mu/ use insight4 ,nana may be an exp]t /5ograph] b may n be v pr\d ( h] vocation & s w\ld be m appreciative ( que/ions ab\t h] ta/e 9 clo!s1 ab\t ! diff]5t places %e has liv$1 ! books %e has enjoy$ read+1 ! movie />s %e likes1 ! places %e has visit$4 ,if y are a cong5ial conv]sationali/ y h und\bt$ly gone a long ways t[>d ar\s+ ! int]e/ ( ?is p]son ^: att5tion y h4 ,n[ if y are /ill int]e/$1 beg9 ask+ m p]sonal que/ions ab\t ! p]son's backgr\nd4 ,p]haps ?is does n come until aft] sev]al dates4 ,! aim is to ar\se 9 ?is p]son a desire to "k y /ill bett]4 ,tell him ! ?+s y admire 9 ! opposite sex4 ,intimate t y are sure he mu/ be v popul>4 ,by attribut+ su* a p]sonality to him1 y create 9 him a desire to "k y bett]6 ,once ?is desire is firmly creat$1 a c\rt%ip has begun t may v well lead to ! alt>4 ,:at traits d p especially look = 9 mates8 ,"o /udy ( college wom5 & college m5 f\nd ^! traits to be m5tion$ mo/ (t53 ,,girls ,,want ,,9 ,,m5 ,,m5 ,,want ,,9 ,,girls ,cong5iality ,intellig5ce ,intellig5ce ,beauty ( =m & figure ,companion%ip ,cong5ial companion%ip 8,h&some0 =m & features ,neatness ,wit ,appeal+ dress ,good nature ,good sportsman%ip ,neatness ,mode/y ,s9c]ity ,good morals ,dep5dability ,s9c]ity ,good sportsman%ip ,wit ,sex appeal ,s5se ( humor ,flexibility ,sex appeal ,good morals ,hone/y ,hone/y ,tru?fulness ,good mann]s ,fri5dl9ess ,at ,p5n ,/ate /ud5ts 7 ask$ = ! qualities !y 7 look+ = 9 _! future mate & a q diff]5t li/ result$4 ,!y want$ _! mate to h3 ,hone/y ,good heal? ,affection ,love = *ildr5 ,cleanl9ess ,same religion ,s5se ( humor ,neatness 8,good backgr\nd0 ,h "* ,/ill ano!r survey %[s t if mature m5 are ask$ :at k9d ( woman !y want = a wife1 ! majority w /ate t !y want a girl :o is d>k1 reasonably sl5d]1 intellig5t1 ) a reasonably good figure1 & is av]age to tall 9 height1 & is affectionate 9 disposition4 ,! emphasis "h is on physical appe>ance4 ,h[ev]1 only #aj p] c5t ( ! m5 insi/ t ! girl mu/ be 8pretty40 ,only ab\t fifte5 p] c5t insi/ t _! wife be a blonde1 despite ! glamoriz+ ( ! blonde1 & ?irty-?ree p] c5t ( ! m5 say t !y d n want blondes "u any circum/ances4 ,ev5 ! plump girl has a *ance4 ,ab\t sev5te5 p] c5t ( ! m5 want a wife :o is plump to solid4 8,looks0 c]ta9ly are a factor 9 "o's attractiv5ess to ! opposite sex1 p>ticul>ly ) girls4 ,b actually almo/ any girl c appe> attractive to m5 if %e has only "o or two really attractive features1 provid+ %e is intellig5t en\gh to capitalize on !m4 ,%e may be flat-*e/$ or knock-kne$ b ! m5 sc>cely notice t because %e designs h]self s t h] bad features are n se54 ,! eye is direct$ to ! good features1 :e!r !y be lu/r\s hair or lum9\s eyes4 ,"s ( ! mo/ fam\s />s 9 ,hollywood are ei!r knock-kne$1 ?ick-ankl$ or big-foot$4 ,! only really ugly girls 9 ?is _w are ! freaks1 ! crude girls1 ! girls :o appe> sexless1 & ! girls :o look unheal?y4 8,good look+0 girls are ! ones :o make a good fir/ impression1 & h su* attractive p]sonalities t ! impression p]si/s4 ,!re y h an important di/9ction4 8,looks0 are important 9 attract+ ! possible mate's att5tion4 ,!re is a psy*ological factor involv$4 ,= reasons ( pre/ige a man usually wants to prove to 8 fri5ds t he has pick$ a 8look]0 :5 he %[s (f 8 new girlfri5d4 ,b once ! att5tion is secur$1 looks = ei!r a man or girl become decid$ly second>y consid]ations4 ,f !n on a p]son /&s or falls on 8 p]sonality4 ,a man c be an ,adonis or a girl c be symmetrically p]fect4 ,yet !y c bore y & y c't get !m out ( y\r sight fa/ en\gh4 ,:at is ! normal physical appe>ance ( a man & woman8 ,"o physician has f\nd t ! av]age woman has a height ( ab\t five feet f\r in*es & weighs approximately #acb p\nds4 ,= e in* ( additional height %e may add five p\nds2 = e in* less ( height %e %\ld subtract five4 ,! man1 on ! o!r h&1 has an av]age height ( ab\t five feet sev5 in*es1 or ?ree in*es high] ?an ! girl4 ,he %\ld weigh ab\t #adb p\nds4 ,= e in* ( height m or less a man c add ab\t eight p\nds1 if he has 8 clo!s on4 ,"s wom5 want _! m5 to be 8tall1 d>k & h&some0 b /ati/ics w\ld seem to indicate t only ab\t "o man 9 two hundr$ atta9s ! height ( six feet4 ,sometimes "y p develop t]rible inf]iority complexes because ( specific ugly features !y h4 ,s9ce a feel+ ( confid5ce & poise is s important 9 w9n+ a mate x might be advisable = "o ) a bad nose1 = example1 to h a pla/ic surg]y op]ation4 ,z ev]yone kn[s1 pla/ic surg]y made trem5d\s /rides 9 ! rec5t w>4 ,a good pla/ic surgeon w remake y\r nose = a price av]ag+ ab\t ?ree hundr$ doll>s4 ,! op]ation itself requires less ?an an h\r1 & y may be out ( circulation = only a c\ple ( weeks4 ,su* an op]ation leaves no sc>s because x is p]=m$ ?r\gh ! no/rils r ?an f outside4 ,_m o!r op]ations ( ?is k9d are possible3 op]ations t w elim9ate sc>s1 t w improve a bad *91 t w give ! lips a configuration1 etc4 ,! op]ation may be wor? :ile if x is ! only way to remove a s\rce ( anxiety4 ,9 ^! days ( mod]n m$ical sci5ce1 pla/ic surg]y1 or?od5ti/ry1 d]matology1 etc4 almo/ any p]son c rid himself ( really abnormal features4 ,& once y h a*iev$ fairly h>moni\s features y\r p]sonality is :at c\nts4 ,x is significant t 9 def9+ a truly beautiful woman ,john ,p[]s1 ! model ag5t1 li/$ ^! f\r ?+s z be+ 9 ! top t5 +r$i5ts ( beauty3 ,a radiant p]sonality ,integrity ( "* ,complete self-assurance ,intellectual curiosity ,"o ,hollywood columni/ wrote 9 8 column ! foll[+ two s5t5ces t %\ld cause anyone to ?9k3 8,beauty is a drug on ! m>ket4 ,p]sonality c comm& any price40 ,complete self-assurance 7temp]$ by mode/y ( c\rse7 is und\bt$ly ! mo/ helpful *>act]i/ic anyone c h 9 compet+ = mates4 ,! p]son :o has an inf]iority complex may h develop$ x because ( physical features :i* prey on 8 m9d1 or because ( "s inadequate behavior 9 ! pa/4 ,he may h made poor grades 9 s*ool or n h be5 able to e>n a lett] 9 a?letics4 ,!re are _m ways to acquire self-confid5ce4 ,"h are "s3 ,/>t+ a sav+s acc\nt ,go+ to ! 8"r places0 ,p>ticipat+ 9 amateur %[s ,dress+ z well z y c ,own+ a good collection ( books or classical records ,jo9+ a frat]nity or frat]nal organization ,tak+ "p 9 *ur* activities ,buy+ prop]ty or organiz+ a bus9ess ,becom+ a ,sc\t ,lead] ,b "o ( ! be/ ( all possible ways to rid y\rself ( an inf]iority complex & to develop self-confid5ce is to become skillful 9 social activities t "y p frequ5tly ent] into4 ,le>n to be exp]t at t5nis or golf or ,p+-pong or bridge or canoe+1 or swimm+ or b[l+ or skeet-%oot+ or g9 rummy1 or saxophone play+1 or be+ an amateur magician4 ,no?+ builds up confid5ce fa/] ?an to possess a secret skill t int]e/s or amuses p ( ! opposite sex4 ,mo/ important ( all1 le>n to be a skillful danc]4 ,if y c float ab\t a dance floor x in/ills confid5ce 9 y1 & admiration 9 y\r danc+ p>tn]4 ,besides1 y w enjoy y\rself m4 ,& a p]son :o kn[s h[ to enjoy himself is attractive to o!r p4 ,*apt] ,,ix ,is ! ,"o ,y ,want ! ,"o ,y ,ne$8 ,! av]age "y p]son consid]+ 8 or h] prospects ( m>riage1 we f9d1 ?9ks only 9 t]ms ( :at he wants 9 a mate4 ,b actually anyone fac+ reali/ically ! problem ( select+ a mate %\ld realize t ?ree ?+s1 n "o1 ought to be consid]$3 #a4 ,:at y want4 #b4 ,:at y ne$4 #c4 ,:at y c get4 ,p]haps ! ideal 9 y\r m9d ( ! mate y want is n only some?+ y c't get b also some?+ y h no ne$ =4 ,:at y want may be unatta9able 9 ! community 9 :i* y live4 ,= example1 if a girl w\ld n m>ry a coal m9] ?\gh %e liv$ 9 a small coal-m9+ community1 %e might ei!r h to modify h] /&>ds1 move to a diff]5t community1 or become an old maid4 ,ord9>ily y might ?9k t ! k9d ( mate y might want w\ld be ! k9d y w\ld ne$4 ,b x (t5 happ5s t a p]son's desires are bas$ on frivol\s or impractical consid]ations2 or ^u ! desire m]ely to 8m>ry into money40 ,dur+ ! pa/ sev]al ye>s1 /ud5ts 9 ,p5n ,/ate's psy*ology classes on prep>ation = m>riage h be5 ask$ :at am\nt ( money !y w\ld consid] an absolute m9imum on :i* !y w\ld be will+ to m>ry4 ,! girls consi/5tly specifi$ m ?an ! m54 ,! av]age = ! boys is #b1dej1 & = ! girls #b1iej4 ,m ?an t5 p] c5t ( ! girls h specifi$ t !y w n m>ry until _! groom has an income ( m ?an five ?\s& doll>s4 ,obvi\sly su* girls are insi/+ on incomes :i* are m ?an !y ne$ & almo/ c]ta9ly m ?an !y c get4 ,take ! case ( ,miriam1 :o specifi$ t h] man mu/ be e>n+ at lea/ f\r ?\s& doll>s a ye> be=e %e w consid] m>ry+4 ,%e set ! figure t high because %e says %e kn[s no?+ ab\t cook+ or manag+ a home s w h to hire someone else to d t4 ,?is man %e w be will+ to m>ry mu/ be ( 8sup]ior intellig5ce0 7ev5 ?\gh h] intellig5ce is b>ely av]age71 he mu/ be six feet tall1 be d>k & h&some1 be a good danc]2 he mu/ h broad %\ld]s & a 8/rong face40 ,he mu/ be a good ,culb]tson bridge play]2 he mu/ smoke a pipe2 he mu/ come f a 8di/+ui%$0 family & mu/ be ei!r a physician or lawy]4 ,f9ally1 %e wrote1 he mu/ be a man :o w put h] on an alt> & wor%ip h]4 ,miriam has ?\ght vaguely ( *ildr5 b ?9ks !y %\ld be put (f = at lea/ five ye>s s t %e may foll[ a danc+ or !atrical c>e] if some?+ %\ld develop4 ,x is conceivable1 ( c\rse1 t %e c f9d su* a man1 b consid]+ h] backgr\nd & tal5ts we d\bt t %e c\ld int]e/ him 9 m>riage4 ,(t5 :at we want 9 a mate is bas$ ^u our wants at ! mom5t r ?an ^u basic or long-range ne$s4 ,a c\ple 9 _! e>ly tw5ties may insi/ t ea* be a good danc] z "o ( ! ma9 qualifications = m>riage4 ,!y dance s mu* t danc+ looms l>ge 9 _! life4 ,b t5 ye>s f n[1 :5 !y w probably dance only a few times a ye>1 x may be an uness5tial qualification :ile ! ability to manage f9ances may add to ! total family income & help wea!r a s]i\s depression4 ,qualities t may make a boy or girl a wond]ful date are n necess>ily ! qualities t w make a wond]ful mate4 ,! two c be pr(\ndly diff]5t4 ,a girl wants a date = a p>ty or dance4 ,%e wants a man :o c dance1 :o w be admir$ z 8good look+10 :o w be a 8good mix]10 :o may be a 8cat*10 p]haps a football /> or a radio actor4 ,:ile ^! may be qualities ne$$ = a date or dance1 !y probably w n be important qualities %e w ne$ 9 a mate = happ9ess 9 m>riage4 ,don't confuse a 8good date0 ) a 8good mate10 = :at y want 9 a date may be f> remov$ f :at y ne$ 9 m>riage4 ,too _m times p fall 9 love ) glamor\s traits 9 ! o!r4 ,a girl 8falls 9 love0 ) ,bill because %e loves 8 flatt]y or 8 danc+ or 8 c> or 8 ta/e 9 clo!s4 ,!y ca/ su* a halo effect t ! girl gives little ?\ght to ! fact t ,bill is a *ronic heavy dr9k]4 ,if %e c\ld see t 8 dr9k+ w probably wreck any m>riage he und]takes1 %e c\ld sp>e h]self mu* he>ta*e4 ,"s p set _! 8mate goals0 s high t !y w\ld r rema9 unm>ri$ ?an m>ry anyone bel[ ^! /&>ds4 ,ye>s lat] !y may be t]ribly disappo9t$ & fru/rat$ z a result4 ,9 ! summ] m>riage classes at ,p5n ,/ate1 :i* are l>gely made up ( unm>ri$ s*ool tea*]s1 _m h confess$ t !y c\ld h m>ri$ :5 y\ng] b someh[ ! man didn't seem q good en\gh4 ,n[1 too old to hope to m>ry1 mo/ ( !m wi% !y _h be5 m practical 9 _! middle tw5ties & n h _h to wait until ! late ?irties or futile =ties to see _! error4 ,we "k ( "y m5 today :o w\ld seem to be excell5t prospects = mates--& !y actually favor ! idea ( m>ry+--b we w\ld be will+ to pr$ict t !y w be ba*elors4 ,!y are too fussy4 ,!y f9d some?+ 9 e girl !y g ) t does n con=m to _! idea ( an ideal mate4 ,h[ d we come by our ideals = mates8 ,dur+ adolesc5ce & *ildhood bo? boys & girls =m 9 _! m9d "s k9d ( a 8dream h]o or h]o9e10 a sort ( 8phantom lov]40 ,he or %e is a composite ( all ! qualifications !y want _! future mate to h4 ,no su* p>agon ev] exi/s 9 real life & ! m5tal image does und]go "s modifications z ! individual gr[s old]4 ,(t5 ?is ideal has ! qualities ( "s ( ! p we idoliz$ 9 e>li] ye>s4 ,sometimes ! qualities seem to be ^? ( a favorite movie />1 or ( a h]o9e ( lit]ature4 ,sometimes !y are inspir$ by qualities ( an admir$ p>5t or old] bro!r or si/]4 ,if y 7 br\ght up 9 a home by an ador$ & deeply-lov$ "m1 y\r 8phantasy ideal0 may h almo/ all ! good qualities ( y\r "m4 ,b if y 7 br\ght up 9 a home :]e y & y\r "m 7 9 con/ant conflict1 !n y may be int]e/$ 9 avoid+ 9 a mate all ! qualities y associate 9 y\r m9d ) y\r own "m4 ,p :o cl+ to _! phantasy ideal aft] !y are gr[n up d s l>gely because !y _c di/+ui% betwe5 :at !y want & :at !y ne$4 ,!y are conv9c$ t _! wants & ne$s are id5tical4 ,_! families & fri5ds may try to %[ !m ! diff]5ce b _! imm$iate wants are all t !y c see4 ,mo/ ( u :o are m>ri$ c look back & c see t ! girl or man we ye>n$ to m>ry at tw5ty w\ld n be ! k9d ( mate we ne$ n[4 ,we ?ank ,heav5 t we did n m>ry t "o4 ,!n :at are ! ?+s we ne$ 9 a mate8 ,!re are c]ta9 qualities t almo/ ev]yone w\ld accept z desirable--qualities su* z good heal?1 s5se ( humor1 fairness1 dep5dability1 unselfi%ness1 pati5ce4 ,& !re are "s traits t are s fundam5tal t we w take !m up 9 ! next *apt] "u 8,crucial ,traits = a ,happy ,m>riage40 ,h[ev]1 mo/ all au?orities are agre$ t 9 consid]+ possible mates y %\ld 9 g5]al seek someone :o is r\ghly ne> y\r own age1 :o has ab\t ! same education t y h1 :o comes f approximately ! same social-economic level t y d1 & :o is ( ! same nationality1 race & religion4 ,intellig5ce is important only 9 a relative s5se--relative1 t is1 to y4 ,feeblem9d$ p]sons t5d to m>ry feeble-m9d$ p]sons4 ,:ile g5iuses _c always m>ry g5iuses1 !y d t5d to m>ry highly intellig5t p4 ,! av]age man m>ries a woman :o is slightly less intellig5t ?an he is4 ,t's :y _m brilliant wom5 nev] m>ry4 ,!y d n come 9 contact ) suffici5tly brilliant m51 or fail to disguise _! brilliance 9 ord] to w9 a man ( some:at less intellig5ce4 ,college males tell u t !y want a girl = a wife :o is 8intellig5t10 b makes !m feel !y are /ill m intellig5t6 ,ano!r ?+ we mu/ conc$e3 "s p h wants :i* are s int5se t !y become ne$s4 ,we h a lett] f a vet]an1 a "y major4 ,! girl he has long consid]$ propos+ to has ev]y?+ he wants except beauty4 ,he has gone ) h] = f\r ye>s4 ,he is ?irty-"o1 %e is tw5ty-sev54 ,%e is sweet1 und]/&+1 affectionate1 is well educat$ & support+ h]self4 ,%e is a good cook & an excell5t companion4 ,%e is neat & clean & pla94 ,b %e is n pretty4 ,he kn[s %e loves him & he ?9ks he loves h] b e "t he ?9ks ( propos+ he is held back because %e isn't attractive4 ,p]haps he %\ld n m>ry ?is girl if h] lack ( beauty is go+ to gnaw at him ! re/ ( 8 life4 ,"o alt]native--& we sugge/$ x--0 t he sugge/ to h] someh[ t %e take a c\rse ) a 8*>m s*ool40 ,ano!r ?\ght we sugge/$ 0 t mo/ beauty comes f )9 & t t5 ye>s f n[ ?is girl w\ld probably h a m appeal+ face ?an _m ( ! s-call$ beauties ( h] own age today4 ,9 consid]+ :at y ne$ 9 a mate x might be helpful to consid] :at are ! important ?+s to y\r happ9ess 9 life4 ,a m>riage w be good = y only if x helps y satisfy ^! basic ne$s4 ,^! ne$s--aft] y h a*iev$ subsi/5ce ?r\gh food1 %elt] & clo?+--are prim>ily psy*ological4 ,9 consid]+ :e!r any p>ticul> p]son w\ld be a good mate = y1 ask y\rself ^! sev5 que/ions1 bas$ on ! psy*ological ne$s y w want to satisfy3 99 99 99 99 99 ,,w ,,?is ,,mate ,,br+ ,,y ,,social ,,approval8 ,y w want a mate t o!r p w l1 t o!r p w admire & respect4 ,y ?us ne$ a mate :o is adept at gett+ along ) o!r p4 ,w y\r fri5ds l him & w ! mate's fri5ds l y8 ,w y\r p>5ts ?9k approv+ly ( ! m>riage8 99 99 99 99 99 ,,c ,,?is ,,mate ,,(f] ,,y ,,security8 ,?is desire = security is a v fundam5tal "o1 especially ) girls4 ,x is bas$ ^u ! bodily ne$ = food1 %elt] & clo?+ b is mu* m complex4 ,w ?is mate be k9d & consid]ate & give y a feel+ ( confid5ce & /ability8 ,w ?is mate refra9 f gambl+1 dr9k+ & o!r ?+s t might imp]il ! security ( y\r future home & *ildr58 ,9 %ort1 w ?is mate br+ y a feel+ t y h an an*or t w keep y /eady8 99 99 99 99 99 ,,w ,,?is ,,mate ,,help ,,y ,,get ,,ahead8 ,?is involves ! desire = ma/]y1 :i* is a univ]sal human motive1 p>ticul>ly ) m54 ,x produces ! urge to succe$1 to excel1 to ov]come ob/acles1 to keep on fight+1 to ma/] situations4 ,x is ?is desire = ma/]y t makes a husb& take a correspond5ce c\rse :i* may lead to a job promotion4 ,! girl wants a mate :o w be ambiti\s & ! man ne$s a wife :o w %[ initiative1 :o w read books on h[ to prep>e ta/y di%es & h[ to re> *ildr5 accord+ to ! be/ pr9ciples ( *ild c>e1 & :o w n become easily disc\rag$ or fru/rat$4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,w ,,?is ,,mate ,,emb>rass ,,y ,,by ,,noncon=mity8 ,! man wants a wife :o w n act unbecom+ly 9 public1 :o kn[s h[ to say & d ! "r ?+ :5 o!r p are pres5t1 :o w con=m to ! cu/oms t w cause ! neighbors to ?9k well ( h]4 ,! girl wants a man :o is n disc\rte\s or sloppy1 :o w get to "w at ! "t he is suppos$ to report1 :o w n emb>rass h] 9 public by do+ ?+s t w make !m criticiz$ by o!rs4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,w ,,?is ,,mate ,,be ,,affectionate ,,) ,,y8 ,we all want to be appreciat$1 to be approv$ by our own mate1 to be giv5 spontane\s tok5s ( affection1 to be told t we are lov$4 ,x is ti$ up ) our desire = praise & recognition4 ,! man wants 8 wife to *]i% him1 to build him up1 to %[ him 9 _m little ways t %e loves him1 t %e is close to him1 & t %e ne$s him4 ,& ! wife1 p]haps to an ev5 great] degree1 ne$s to feel %e is important to h] husb&1 t he loves h] & %[s t love 9 _m little ways4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,w ,,?is ,,mate ,,satisfy ,,y ,,sexually8 ,!re are _m ways y c detect be=e m>riage :e!r su* satisfaction c be a*iev$ ) ?is p>ticul> mate4 ,bew>e a p]son :o %[s a neurotic t5d5cy1 unconv5tional behavior1 a crav+ = excitem5t1 an urge to be con/antly on ! g4 ,bew>e ( bo? ! prudes & ( p]sons :o seem preoccupi$ ) sex4 ,bew>e ( indications ( jeal\sy & possessiv5ess4 ,^! symptoms sugge/ t ?is p]son may n be able to f9d sexual satisfaction 9 m>riage nor br+ x to y4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,f9ally1 ,,c ,,?is ,,mate ,,talk ,,?+s ,,ov] ,,) ,,y8 ,?is ability1 9 our op9ion1 is "o ( ! bigge/ s+le values 9 m>riage4 ,bew>e ( suspici\sness1 ( dem&s = explanation1 ( res5tm5t1 ( cont9ual criticism ( o!rs4 ,^! ?+s sugge/ y may be entangl$ ) a nagg] & a compla9] :o w con/antly try to improve y /ead ( deal+ ) y z a p>tn]4 ,y w f9d x difficult to talk to su* a p]son1 to discuss y\r mutual problems4 ,be+ able to talk ?+s ov] ) ano!r p]son )\t re/ra9t--:i* psy*ologi/s call mutual psy*o!rapy--is probably "o ( ! greate/ ?+s y c get out ( m>riage4 ,if a c\ple h confid5ce 9 ea* o!r1 c confide _! hopes1 & _! ambitions1 c enc\rage & /imulate ea* o!r :5 fru/rat$1 !n su* a c\ple c g f> 9 satisfy+ ! basic ne$s 9 _! lives4 ,*apt] ,x ,crucial ,traits = a ,happy ,m>riage ,?us f> we h talk$ ab\t :at "y p ?9k !y want 9 _! mates & ab\t ! basic ne$s1 :i* a good mate %\ld fill4 ,b we /ill hav5't discuss$ ! big "q4 ,:at are ! actual traits y %\ld h & y\r mate %\ld h if y are to a*ieve happ9ess 9 m>riage8 ,:at makes a m>riage happy or unhappy8 ,a few ye>s ago no reliable answ] 0 available4 ,b )9 ! pa/ few ye>s a great deal ( illum9at+ data has be5 turn$ up by inve/igators z a result ( an upsurge ( sci5tific int]e/ 9 m>riage4 ,?is int]e/ 0 ar\s$ by ! fright5+ rise 9 m>ital bankruptcy z %[n by ! divorce tr5d4 ,:at are ! *>act]i/ics actually f\nd 9 happily m>ri$ mates & unhappily m>ri$ mates8 ,t]man delv$ into ! lives ( #gib m>ri$ c\ples & came out ) ^! conclusions ab\t ! qualities t usually g ) bo? k9ds ( mates3 ,,happy ,,wives ,,unhappy ,,wives ,h k9dly attitude t[>d ,(t5 h feel+s ( o!rs inf]iority ,l to help und]dogs ,t5d to be def5sive or ,t5d to be conv5tional aggressive ,are cop]ative ,easily annoy$1 irritat$ ,/rong urge to save money ,(t5 jo9 clubs only to get ,are optimi/ic ab\t life an (fice or recognition ,d n take (f5se easily 9 !m ,less int]e/$ 9 social activities ,extreme 9 _! views su* z dances ,m likely to be neurotic ,l to tea* *ildr5 ,lose temp]s easily ,put less importance on clo!s ,impress$ by ?rill+ ,are sy/ematic homemak]s situations ,d less daydream+ ,seek spectacul> activities ,want to be on ! move ,%[ little int]e/ 9 h\sework ,n[ h[ ab\t ! husb&s8 ,"h is :at ,t]man f\nd ab\t !m3 ,,happy ,,husb&s ,,unhappy ,,husb&s ,h great] /ability ,(t5 h feel+s ( ,are cop]ative inf]iority ,get along well ) bus9ess ,comp5sate by br[beat+ wife associates & subord9ates ,are some:at extrov]t$ ,dislike details ,are m cons]vative 9 attitudes ,m radical ab\t sex ,will+ to take initiative morality ,take responsibility easily ,incl9$ to be moody ,d n get rattl$ easily ,are m argum5tative ,l recreations t take !m away f home ,apt to be c>eless ab\t money ,ano!r approa* ,t]man made 0 to f9d out :at husb&s & wives compla9 ab\t mo/ 9 _! mates4 ,he f\nd t unhappily m>ri$ c\ples 7 ov]fl[+ ) compla9ts :ile happily m>ri$ c\ples voic$ few criticisms4 ,"h are ! compla9ts he he>d mo/ (t53 ,,compla9ts ,,f ,,husb&s ,,compla9ts ,,f ,,wives ,wife's feel+s hurt too easily ,insuffici5t income f husb& ,wife too critical ,9-laws ,tr\ble ) 9-laws ,impati5ce ( husb& ,wife n]v\s or emotional ,husb&'s poor managem5t ( ,income manag$ poorly income ,he has no 8fre$om0 ,8 t5d5cy to be critical ,wife has poor ta/e 9 ,8 pref]5ces 9 amusem5ts amusem5ts ,8 failure to talk ?+s ov] ,wife is a nagg] ,8 failure to %[ affection ,:5 ,t]man _h accumulat$ all ( 8 f9d+s1 he devis$ a 8,pr$iction ( ,m>riage ,happ9ess ,scale0 by means ( :i* an unm>ri$ p]son c\ld det]m9e 8 own *ances ( f9d+ happ9ess 9 m>riage4 ,?is has no?+ to d ) ! o!r p]son involv$ b simply te/s y\r own capability ( becom+ a good mate = someone4 ,he f\nd :at we h already indicat$--t y\r backgr\nd l>gely pr$et]m9es y\r ability to be a successful mate4 ,( ! factors he f\nd mo/ significant 9 pr$ict+ happ9ess 9 m>riage1 t5 /& out z mo/ ess5tial to success4 #a4 ,are y\r p>5ts happily m>ri$8 #b4 ,did y h a happy *ildhood8 #c4 ,7 y free f conflict ) y\r "m8 #d4 ,0 y\r *ildhood discipl9e firm b n h>%8 #e4 ,did y h a /rong atta*m5t to y\r "m8 #f4 ,did y h a /rong atta*m5t to y\r fa!r8 #g4 ,7 y free f conflict ) y\r fa!r8 #h4 ,7 y\r p>5ts frank ) y ab\t sex8 #i4 ,7 y puni%$ infrequ5tly & mildly8 #aj4 ,is y\r attitude t[>d sex free f disgu/ or av]sion8 ,t]man says t any p]son :o has all t5 9 8 favor is a consid]ably bett] ?an av]age m>riage risk4 ,he gives emphasis to ?is by say+ t any "o ( ! t5 factors seems to be m important to m>riage happ9ess ?an does virg9ity ( ! individual at ! "t ( m>riage4 ,at ,p5n ,/ate1 :]e ! fir/ all-college m>riage c\nsel+ s]vice 9 ,am]ica 0 f\nd$1 an adaptation ( ,dr4 ,t]man's pr$iction scale is us$1 by special p]mission ( ,dr4 ,t]man1 along ) ! ,guil=d-,m>t9 ,p]sonnel ,inv5tory ,i & o!r te/s4 ,b ! ma9 device ! ,p5n ,/ate cl9ic uses 9 build+ an ov]-all 8index0 ( a p]son's prospects = a happy m>riage is ! ,adams-,lepley ,p]sonal ,audit1 :i* 0 a product ( ,p5n ,/ate's own inve/igations4 ,?is ,audit n only discloses y\r pot5tialities = be+ a good mate1 & ! pot5tialities ( y\r possible mate1 b goes on to mat* y\r two pr(iles to see if y are compatible4 ,! happie/ m>riages1 ! cl9ic has f\nd1 are betwe5 p]sons :o n only are good prospects = m>riage individually b :o h m>k$ly simil> p]sonalities4 ,! cl9ic calls ?is compatibility4 ,x has f\nd t opposites may attract ea* o!r b x is ! likes :o a*ieve ! happie/ m>riages toge!r4 ,9 ! process ( p]fect+ ?is ,audit1 ! cl9ic n only te/$ x on ?\s&s ( p]sons & c\ples b foll[$ up hundr$s ( ^? c\ples :o lat] m>ri$1 to f9d out h[ well ! pr$ictions bore up aft] ! c\ple _h be5 liv+ ) ea* o!r a ye> or s z man & wife4 7,!y bore up v well inde$47 ,n[ ! cl9ic believes x kn[s j :at traits are crucial = m5 to possess & :at ones are crucial = wom54 7,!y sometimes diff]47 ,! ,audit measures y = n9e sep>ate & di/9ct traits ( p]sonality--sociability1 con=mity1 tranquillity1 dep5dability1 /ability1 idealism1 /ead9ess1 flexibility1 & s]i\sness4 ,a p]sonality trait has two extremes1 j z height has ! two extremes ( tallness & %ortness4 ,^! are ! opposite poles = ! n9e traits j li/$3 ,res]v$--,sociable ,bold--,fe>ful ,agreeable--,noncon=m+ ,broadm9d$--,ideali/ic ,tranquil--,irritable ,calm--,emotional ,dep5dable--,evasive ,rigid--,flexible ,?\ghtful--,frivol\s ,let's consid] ^! n9e traits1 & _! significance :5 f\nd 9 a mate4 7,y c also apply !m to y\rself47 99 99 99 99 99 ,,trait ,i4 ,,is ,,he ,,res]v$ ,,or ,,sociable8 ,ano!r way to put x is ?is3 8,is he introv]t$ or extrov]t$80 ,! res]v$ p]son is usually quiet1 ambiti\s1 s]i\s1 agreeable ) intimates & conf9es 8 socializ+ to close fri5ds4 ,sociable or extrov]t$ p are extremely social & aggressive4 ,!y are talkative & c>efree & sometimes %[ little reg>d = o!r p's rights4 ,!y are ! 8glad-h&]s40 ,p]haps ! man is a salesman1 or ! girl is a sorority presid5t4 ,! ,p5n ,/ate inve/igators f\nd1 surpris+ly1 t ! happily m>ri$ m5 t5d$ to be j a bit m impulsive1 to be m sociable1 to be m talkative & to h broad] int]e/s ?an did unhappily m>ri$ m54 ,wom5 on ! o!r h& c\ld t5d to be ei!r res]v$ or sociable & /ill be happy1 z long z !y 7 n extreme introv]ts or extreme extrov]ts4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,trait ,,ii4 ,,is ,,he ,,an ,,agreeable ,,sort1 ,,or ,,is ,,he ,,an 8,,individuali/08 ,! agreeable p]son t5ds to con=m to ! norms set by society4 ,he is usually pois$1 cop]ative1 c conc5trate easily & t5ds to :olesome recreations4 ,! individuali/ enjoys ! idea ( be+ 8diff]5t10 is apt to hurt p's feel+s by 8 brusqu5ess & impati5ce ) ?+s t bore or irritate him4 ,9 extreme cases he is bullhead$ & argum5tative4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,trait ,,iii4 ,,is ,,he ,,tranquil ,,or ,,irritable8 ,! tranquil p]son has an ev5 disposition1 works me?odically1 is pati5t1 gets along well ) folks4 ,! irritable p]son t5ds to 8fly (f ! h&le10 to be easily annoy$1 to f9d fault1 to be erratic & peevi%4 ,= m5 tranquillity is a crucial trait1 ! ,p5n ,/ate inve/igators f\nd4 ,! happily m>ri$ man is less easily annoy$1 less irritable1 less peevi%1 less critical ?an ! unhappily m>ri$ man4 ,to a girl ?is means %e %\ld be c>eful ab\t m>ry+ a man :o is irritable4 ,:ile x is desirable = ! girl to be ev5-temp]$ too1 ?is trait is n z important = a girl z = a man4 ,h[ev]1 x 0 f\nd t :5 "o ( ! two mates t5ds to be irritable & annoy$ x is highly desirable = ! o!r mate to be ev5-temp]$4 ,:5 y get two irritable p]sons "u ! same ro( ! explosions soon =ce "o to beat a retreat1 sometimes into divorce4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,trait ,,iv4 ,,is ,,he ,,frank ,,or ,,evasive8 ,?is is probably ! mo/ crucial trait = m>riage happ9ess t we "k4 ,! dep5dable p]son is frank & tru?ful & consci5ti\s4 ,he gets along h>moni\sly ) o!rs1 is will+ to accept responsibility1 is /able & cop]ative4 ,! evasive p]son is unwill+ to face reality or to accept responsibilities4 ,he 8passes ! buck0 or projects ! blame = ?+s onto o!rs4 ,he exagg]ates & (t5 lies4 ,he is easily depress$ & lacks integrity4 ,p]sons :o rate high 9 dep5dability consi/5tly are ! ones :o are happie/ 9 bo? m>riage & _! "w4 ,?is "o trait is at lea/ z crucial to happ9ess 9 m>riage = a girl z is ! entire complex ( traits measur$ by ,t]man's ,pr$iction ,scale4 ,:ile x is mo/ crucial = girls 9 m>riage1 x is also crucial = m54 ,= a girl x is unque/ionably ! mo/ crucial trait we "k4 ,?is means t 9 consid]+ any possible mate y %\ld be p>ticul>ly c>eful to notice :e!r he or %e is dep5dable or n dep5dable4 ,does he keep appo9tm5ts1 tell ! tru? & "w consci5ti\sly8 99 99 99 99 99 ,,trait ,v4 ,,is ,,he ,,bold ,,or ,,fe>ful8 ,! 8bold0 p]son is confid5t to ! po9t ( cocksur5ess4 ,he is will+ to c>ry out responsibilities1 usually is c>efree1 /able1 self-suffici5t1 & a bit dom9ant4 ,! un/able1 or fe>ful1 p]son is %y & *angeable4 ,he may seem )drawn & r>ely ev9ces qualities ( lead]%ip4 ,?is trait is crucial = wom5 & fairly important = m54 ,a woman1 to h a happy m>riage1 ne$s to %[ /rong indications ( /ability1 because 9 runn+ h] h\sehold alone %e mu/ be self-assur$ & indep5d5t 9 em]g5cies :5 outside help isn't available4 ,a man %\ld bew>e a woman :o is exce$+ly n]v\s or fe>ful1 jitt]y or afraid4 ,= ! man x is important t he be fairly /able1 b )\t be+ reckless4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,trait ,,vi4 ,,is ,,he ,,broadm9d$ ,,or ,,ideali/ic8 ,! broadm9d$ p]son is tol]ant1 flexible1 practical1 reali/ic4 ,8 temp]am5t t5ds to be pleasant & smoo?4 ,! ideali/ic p]son %[s /rong attitudes4 ,prejudice1 (t5 disguis$ z 8high0 /&>ds1 may be pres5t4 ,inf]iority & peevi%ness are (t5 f\nd "h4 ,/op & ?9k4 ,! girl y want to m>ry is ! "o y hope w be ! "m ( y\r *ildr54 ,y want h] to in/ill reasonably high /&>ds & ideals 9 ! *ildr54 ,y want h] to be conv5tional & n d ?+s t w br+ criticism4 ,! happie/ m>riages are ^? 9 :i* ! wife has high /&>ds & ideals b n ones t are s /iff & unyield+ t %e c nev] see any ju/ification = a slip-up n[ & !n4 ,unhappy m>riages are ^? :]e ! wives h /&>ds t are v l[ & :o behave 9 unconv5tional or que/ionable ways4 ,our society enc\rages high] /&>ds & ideals = wom5 ?an x does = m54 ,! man c be tol]ant & easygo+ b %\ld h /&>ds suffici5tly high s t he consid]s x important to be fai?ful to 8 wife1 & does n wa/e 8 money 9 dr9k or gambl+4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,trait ,,vii4 ,,is ,,he ,,calm ,,or ,,emotional8 ,calm p]sons h 8normal0 ways ( ?9k+4 ,_! feel+s are n int5se4 ,p]sons ^: "w requires objectivity & c\rage--su* z surgeons & milit>y lead]s--score high at ?is level4 ,emotional p1 9 contra/1 usually ?9k 9 unor?odox ways4 ,!y are usually s5sitive4 ,_! feel+s are volatile & deep-seat$4 ,int]e/s 9 writ+1 drama1 arts1 lit]ature are (t5 f\nd "h4 ,individuali/ic1 creative "w is pref]r$1 & ! p]son may appe> temp]am5tal or ecc5tric to o!rs4 ,repression & sexual conflicts are common4 ,s9ce ! emotional p]son is int5se & usually n too well adju/$1 m>riage may n prove too satisfactory4 ,! trait ( coolness or /ead9ess is mu* m crucial = m5 ?an = wom54 ,! happie/ m>ri$ m5 seem to be ^? :o are /eady & free ( excess emotion4 ,?is enables !m to be objective 9 _! "w4 ,a girl %\ld be w>y ( select+ a mate :o is v emotional1 :o is too mu* int]e/$ 9 sex or :o works 9 ! movies or o!r "w :]e !re is a great deal ( glam\r & excitem5t4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,trait ,,viii4 ,,is ,,he ,,rigid ,,or ,,flexible8 ,?is is m important 9 m5 ?an 9 wom51 & ! man's age det]m9es :e!r he %\ld score high 9 rigidity or 9 flexibility4 ,if ! man is "u tw5ty-five x is well = ! c\ple's future happ9ess if he scores q high 9 flexibility because m>riage requires a great deal ( adju/+ & a c]ta9 am\nt ( try+ out new jobs is heal?y = a "y man4 ,h[ev]1 flexibility 9 a man pa/ ?irty %\ld make a girl s]i\sly "q ! advisability ( m>riage to him because he is apt to be p]man5tly a 8w-o'-!-wisp02 8 *>act]i/ics are pretty well set4 ,a man 9 8 ?irties :o *anges jobs frequ5tly1 :o is n 8settl$10 is n a good matrimonial bet4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,trait ,,ix4 ,,is ,,he ,,?\ghtful ,,or ,,frivol\s8 ,bew>e ( ! girl :o is frivol\s4 ,%e w be %all[ & discont5t$2 %e w h _m unsettl$ problems2 %e w be worry+ ab\t h] pa/ z well z h] future2 %e w h tr\ble mak+ up h] m9d & w seem to be at loose ends4 ,%e may nag & compla94 ,= wom51 ?\ghtfulness ranks second only to dep5dability 9 importance to m>riage happ9ess4 ,!re y h ! n9e traits4 ,z y h probably notic$1 x is mu* m crucial = wom5 to h ! "r p]sonality traits ?an = m54 ,?is is due l>gely to ! fact t m>riage looms mu* l>g] 9 a woman's life ?an x does 9 a man's4 ,a wife has to d ! l>g] "p ( ! 8adju/+0 to m>riage4 ,%e usually has to give up h] "n1 h] job1 h] resid5ce1 & _m ( h] fri5ds4 ,! man c g on pretty mu* ! same z he did be=e m>riage4 ,! wife mu/ sp5d ! greate/ "p ( h] day be+ a wife 7homemak]7 :]eas ! man s]ves actively 9 ! role ( husb& only a few h\rs a day4 ,9 summ+ up1 :at advice w\ld we give ! "y man 9 ord] t he c select a mate :o w be happy 9 m>riage & contribute to 8 happ9ess 9 m>riage8 ,ideally1 he might well look = a girl3 ,:o is frank & dep5dable1 ,^: family backgr\nd has be5 su* t %e 0 re>$ 9 a happy home1 ,:o is ?\ghtful & n beset by conflicts revolv+ ar\nd h] adju/m5ts to ! opposite sex1 ,:o is /able & self-suffici5t & free f neuroticism1 ,:o is objective & free f excessive s5sitiv5ess1 ,:o is fri5dly1 k9dly & consid]ate1 ,:o is cop]ative 9 h] relations ) o!rs1 ,:o is flexible & adaptable1 ,:o is /eady & free f emotional behavior1 ,:o is tranquil & n easily irritat$1 ,:o has av]age to high /&>ds & ideals1 ,:o c be influ5c$ by p :o h s\nd ideas1 ,:o is some:at extrov]t$ & c>efree4 ,all ( ^! traits ( c\rse are n vital b x is advisable t %e fit into ! g5]al patt]n outl9$ above4 ,next1 :at %\ld a girl look = 9 a "y man8 ,ideally1 he %\ld be a man3 ,:o is tranquil & n easily irritat$1 ,:o is dep5dable & frank1 ,:o is objective & has feel+s t are n easily hurt1 ,:o gets along easily ) o!rs1 ,:o is cop]ative 9 gr\p projects & likes to help p1 ,:o is cool & free f emotionality1 ,:o is conc]n$ ab\t :at o!r p ?9k ( him1 ,:o 0 re>$ 9 a happy home1 ,:o is free ( c>es & has broad int]e/s1 ,:o is fairly well cont5t$ ) 8 lot 9 life1 ,:o c be influ5c$ by o!rs :5 _! reason+ is s\nd4 ,! big "q is h[ y c "k if y & any prospective mate h qualities t make y good m>riage risks4 ,y w f9d 9 ! next *apt] t5 te/s t %\ld provide ! answ]4 ,!y w record y\r rat+ on ! n9e traits we h j discuss$1 plus a rat+ on y\r family backgr\nd4 ,*apt] ,,xi ,te/ ,y\r ,mate & ,y\rself ,n[ y are go+ to take t5 te/s t w record h[ well qualifi$ y are to m>ry4 ,y\r ov]-all score w indicate y\r *ances ( a*iev+ a happy m>riage1 ) :omev] y may m>ry4 ,^! te/s c be tak5 by ei!r m5 or girls4 ,& we sugge/ t aft] y take ! te/s y h y\r favorite date take !m too4 ,!n 9 ! next *apt] y c see h[ well y are mat*$4 ,9 addition to scor+ y\r desirability z a mate1 ! te/s w help unveil = y y\r own p]sonality4 ,!y w pres5t y z y appe> to o!r p4 ,be hone/ ) y\rself4 ,!re are no cat* que/ions4 ,if y wi% y c get a piece ( pap] to write y\r answ]s on4 ,if y d ?is y w n m>k up ! book1 nobody w "k h[ y answ]$1 & any o!r p]son tak+ ! te/s w n be influ5c$ by y\r answ]s4 ,don't look up ! correct answ]s until y h f9i%$ all ! te/s4 ,aft] y h complet$ all t5 te/s y c !n see h[ !y %\ld be scor$4 ,"s ( ^! traits are m important to m>riage happ9ess ?an o!rs1 & "s are m important = "o sex ?an ! o!r4 ,be sure n to talk ov] any ( ! que/ions ) anyone until aft] y h tak5 all ! te/s4 ,n[ g ahead1 & "w rapidly4 ,,trait ,i 7,sociability7 ,indicate ! degree ( y\r lik+ = ea* ( ! foll[+ activities by draw+ a circle ar\nd ,m if y w\ld l x a great deal1 ar\nd ,s if y w\ld h "s lik+ = x1 ar\nd ,l if y w\ld h a little lik+ = x1 ar\nd ,n if y w\ld h practically no lik+ = x4 #a4 ,introduc+ /rang]s at a p>ty4 ,m ,s ,l ,n #b4 ,ent]ta9+ a gr\p ( fri5ds4 ,m ,s ,l ,n #c4 ,rais+ money = a *>ity4 ,m ,s ,l ,n #d4 ,tak+ "p 9 "s a?letic conte/4 ,m ,s ,l ,n #e4 ,go+ on a picnic4 ,m ,s ,l ,n #f4 ,play+ games l golf1 t5nis1 croquet1 or d>ts4 ,m ,s ,l ,n #g4 ,read+ ! sport+ section ( ! newspap]4 ,m ,s ,l ,n #h4 ,play+ games l bridge1 p9o*le or ,monopoly4 ,m ,s ,l ,n #i4 ,keep+ a pet1 su* z a cat or dog4 ,m ,s ,l ,n #aj4 ,att5d+ a masqu]ade p>ty4 ,m ,s ,l ,n #aa4 ,p]=m+ on ! radio4 ,m ,s ,l ,n #ab4 ,be+ a delegate to a conv5tion4 ,m ,s ,l ,n #ac4 ,mak+ long-di/ance telephone calls to fri5ds4 ,m ,s ,l ,n #ad4 ,prep>+ = an exam9ation by /udy+ ) classmates4 ,m ,s ,l ,n #ae4 ,help+ a /r&$ motori/ *ange a tire4 ,m ,s ,l ,n ,,trait ,,ii 7,con=mity7 ,fifte5 exp]ts1 ea* ( :om _h won success 9 a diff]5t field1 7 ask$ to give an op9ion ( ! /atem5ts bel[4 ,at lea/ eight or m ( ! exp]ts m>k$ ea* /atem5t bel[ z true4 ,read ea* /atem5t1 & if y agree ) ! exp]ts t ! /atem5t is true1 draw a circle ar\nd ,a4 ,if y agree b only ) res]vations1 draw a circle ar\nd ,r4 ,if y disagree ) ! exp]ts1 draw a circle ar\nd ,d4 #a4 ,%[s ) scantily dress$ p]=m]s %\ld n be p]mitt$4 ,a ,r ,d #b4 ,no cultur$ p]son w\ld ev] use pr(anity4 ,a ,r ,d #c4 ,! "r to vote %\ld be giv5 to p]sons ( #ah ye>s ( age4 ,a ,r ,d #d4 ,no p]son except a law (fic] %\ld be p]mitt$ to own a pi/ol4 ,a ,r ,d #e4 ,no acceptable excuse c ev] be made = suicide4 ,a ,r ,d #f4 ,*ildr5 owe _! p>5ts m ?an _! p>5ts owe !m4 ,a ,r ,d #g4 ,few p w\ld be bett] (f dead ?an alive4 ,a ,r ,d #h4 ,ri* p are no happi] ?an poor p4 ,a ,r ,d #i4 ,natural res\rces %\ld belong to individuals r ?an to ! gov]nm5t4 ,a ,r ,d #aj4 ,p>5ts c dec5tly support & educate two *ildr5 9 a city ( #ejjj1 ) a total income ( less ?an #bjj p] mon?4 ,a ,r ,d #aa4 ,p>5ts %\ld be p]mitt$ to puni% or :ip _! *ildr54 ,a ,r ,d #ab4 ,/eal+ _c be excus$ on any gr\nds4 ,a ,r ,d #ac4 ,any?+ injuri\s to ! human body1 su* z tobacco1 %\ld be outlaw$4 ,a ,r ,d #ad4 ,highly intellig5t p are j z happy z av]age p4 ,a ,r ,d #ae4 ,! av]age p]son ne$s m ma!matics ?an ! eigh? grade provides4 ,a ,r ,d ,,trait ,,iii 7,tranquillity7 ,bel[ is a li/ ( ! common annoyances :i* affect mo/ p to "s ext5t4 ,indicate y\r degree ( annoyance = ea* ( !m by draw+ a circle ar\nd ,m if x annoys y mu*1 ar\nd ,s if x annoys y "s1 ar\nd ,l if x annoys y a little1 & ar\nd ,n if x nev] annoys y4 #a4 ,to h /op light turn r$ z y drive up to x4 ,m ,s ,l ,n #b4 ,to drop an article :5 y h y\r arms full4 ,m ,s ,l ,n #c4 ,to h to /& up 9 a /reetc> or bus4 ,m ,s ,l ,n #d4 ,to h to talk :5 y don't feel l x4 ,m ,s ,l ,n #e4 ,to be int]rupt$ :5 read+ a v int]e/+ /ory4 ,m ,s ,l ,n #f4 ,to h a casual visitor out/ay 8 welcome4 ,m ,s ,l ,n #g4 ,to be deta9$ :5 y are 9 a hurry4 ,m ,s ,l ,n #h4 ,to li/5 to radio :5 /atic is bad4 ,m ,s ,l ,n #i4 ,to h someone break an engagem5t at ! la/ m9ute4 ,m ,s ,l ,n #aj4 ,to be int]rupt$ :5 y are talk+4 ,m ,s ,l ,n #aa4 ,to h someone read ov] y\r %\ld]4 ,m ,s ,l ,n #ab4 ,to miss a /reetc> or bus4 ,m ,s ,l ,n #ac4 ,to h movie film break at an excit+ po9t4 ,m ,s ,l ,n #ad4 ,to burn y\r m\? or tongue ) hot food or bev]age4 ,m ,s ,l ,n #ae4 ,to be accid5tally lock$ out ( y\r c> or home4 ,m ,s ,l ,n ,,trait ,,iv 7,dep5dability7 ,( ! /atem5ts bel[1 draw a circle ar\nd ,t = ! ones y believe to be usually true2 draw a circle ar\nd ,d = ! ones ^: tru? y d\bt2 & draw a circle ar\nd ,f = ! ones usually false4 #a4 ,prohibition enc\rag$ _m p to dr9k :o _h nev] drunk be=e4 ,t ,d ,f #b4 ,an unpopul> p]son c\ld (t5 become popul> by l[]+ 8 /&>ds ( conduct4 ,t ,d ,f #c4 ,p :o date a great deal be=e m>riage (t5 make poor m>riage mates4 ,t ,d ,f #d4 ,/ud5ts :o are always tak+ ! lead 9 class discussions are usually try+ to get att5tion4 ,t ,d ,f #e4 ,policem5 8bawl out0 p l>gely to satisfy _! own s5se ( importance4 ,t ,d ,f #f4 ,p ( high ideals usually h few] fri5ds ?an individuals ^: ideals are n ( ! highe/4 ,t ,d ,f #g4 ,a p]son is (t5 a failure because ( v high e?ics4 ,t ,d ,f #h4 ,! v pretty girl ) little ability (t5 is m successful ?an ! pla9 girl :o has real ability4 ,t ,d ,f #i4 ,:at y "k is n s important to success z :om y "k4 ,t ,d ,f #aj4 ,gett+ ! breaks is m important to success ?an be+ well qualifi$4 ,t ,d ,f #aa4 ,few employees w\ld loaf on ! job if !y 7 paid suffici5t wages4 ,t ,d ,f #ab4 ,man is p[]less 9 ! h&s ( fate4 ,t ,d ,f #ac4 ,p (t5 try to impress o!rs by say+ t !y are v fond ( 8highbr[0 music & books4 ,t ,d ,f #ad4 ,! law is h>d] on ! poor man ?an on ! ri* man4 ,t ,d ,f #ae4 ,! good 8bluff]0 succe$s ne>ly z well z ! p]son :o c deliv] ! goods4 ,t ,d ,f ,,trait ,v 7,/ability7 ,bel[ is a li/ ( ! common fe>s t mo/ p exp]i5ce to "s ext5t4 ,indicate y\r degree ( fe> = ea* ( ^! ?+s by draw+ a circle ar\nd ,m if y w\ld usually h consid]able fe>1 ar\nd ,s if y w\ld usually h "s fe>1 ar\nd ,l if y w\ld h a little fe>1 & ar\nd ,n if y w\ld usually feel no fe>4 #a4 ,be+ buri$ alive4 ,m ,s ,l ,n #b4 ,be+ bitt5 by a snake :ile walk+ alone 9 ! woods4 ,m ,s ,l ,n #c4 ,be+ dr[n$ at sea or :ile swimm+4 ,m ,s ,l ,n #d4 ,fri5ds los+ confid5ce 9 y because ( untrue rumors4 ,m ,s ,l ,n #e4 ,walk+ pa/ gravey>ds alone late at night4 ,m ,s ,l ,n #f4 ,hav+ fri5ds le>n ab\t y\r wor/ faults4 ,m ,s ,l ,n #g4 ,t\*+ mice1 rats1 worms1 or liz>ds4 ,m ,s ,l ,n #h4 ,los+ y\r wife or swee!>t to somebody else4 ,m ,s ,l ,n #i4 ,gett+ too deeply 9 debt or hav+ f9ancial mis=tune4 ,m ,s ,l ,n #aj4 ,look+ d[n f ! edge ( a precipice4 ,m ,s ,l ,n #aa4 ,be+ puni%$ 9 ! next _w4 ,m ,s ,l ,n #ab4 ,elevator fall+ :ile desc5d+ f ! top ( a skyscrap]4 ,m ,s ,l ,n #ac4 ,los+ y\r m9d or becom+ insane4 ,m ,s ,l ,n #ad4 ,los+ y\r eyesight4 ,m ,s ,l ,n #ae4 ,li/5+ to radio horror /ory late at night :ile alone4 ,m ,s ,l ,n ,,trait ,,vi 7,/&>ds & ,ideals7 ,indicate ! degree ( y\r dislike = ea* ( ! foll[+ activities or ?+s by draw+ a circle ar\nd ,m if y w\ld dislike x a great deal1 ar\nd ,s if y w\ld dislike x "s1 ar\nd ,l if y w\ld h a little dislike = x1 & ar\nd ,n if y w\ld h no dislike = x4 #a4 ,a p]son :o brags ab\t 8 a*ievem5ts4 ,m ,s ,l ,n #b4 ,individuals :o always put ! blame on somebody else4 ,m ,s ,l ,n #c4 ,/orekeep]s :o nev] make mi/akes except 9 _! favor4 ,m ,s ,l ,n #d4 ,extreme pessimi/s or p :o always expect ! wor/4 ,m ,s ,l ,n #e4 ,a girl :o is a gold-digg]4 ,m ,s ,l ,n #f4 ,! p]son :o 8=gets0 to pay 8 %>e ( ! *eck4 ,m ,s ,l ,n #g4 ,p :o are nev] on "t = appo9tm5ts4 ,m ,s ,l ,n #h4 ,p :o h little control ov] _! temp]s4 ,m ,s ,l ,n #i4 ,! girl :o uses excessive make-up4 ,m ,s ,l ,n #aj4 ,p :o *eat on exam9ations4 ,m ,s ,l ,n #aa4 ,individuals :o are c>eless & indiff]5t ab\t dress4 ,m ,s ,l ,n #ab4 ,radicals or reaction>ies :o impose _! views ^u y4 ,m ,s ,l ,n #ac4 ,individuals :o are always bor$ & nev] h a good "t4 ,m ,s ,l ,n #ad4 ,a p]son :o gambles = money4 ,m ,s ,l ,n #ae4 ,li/5+ to sc&al\s gossip4 ,m ,s ,l ,n ,,trait ,,vii 7,/ead9ess7 ,ea* ^w 9 capitals is foll[$ by f\r words4 ,draw a circle ar\nd ! ^w t seems to y to g mo/ naturally ) ! ^w 9 capitals4 ,m>k only "o ^w 9 ea* l9e4 ------- ,= example3 ,,travel boat %ip tra9 c> ------- ,"h c> has be5 encircl$4 ,!re are no "r or wrong answ]s4 ,"w rapidly4 #a4 ,,pa/ ye/]day =get sorr[ hidd5 #b4 ,,sleep re/ dream ne$ toge!r #c4 ,,immoral vulg> p]son vile crim9al #d4 ,,dream vision night trance romance #e4 ,,love adore e/eem wor%ip ye>n #f4 ,,baby home future unwant$ co/ #g4 ,,lonely solit>y fri5dless mis]able =sak5 #h4 ,,debt obligation weight necess>y nightm>e #i4 ,,swee!>t love engag$ wi/ful lo/ #aj4 ,,money curr5cy pay lack urg5t #aa4 ,,enemy foe hat$ dang]\s de/roy$ #ab4 ,,fil?y dirty disgu/+ m9d body #ac4 ,,p>5t home love dep5d /rict #ad4 ,,s9 wrong vice guilt black #ae4 ,,revolt+ di/a/eful repulsive loa?some degrad+ ,,trait ,,viii 7,flexibility7 ,bel[ is a li/ ( activities or ?+s4 ,if y feel ab\t ! same way t[>d !m n[ t y did ?ree or f\r ye>s ago1 draw a circle ar\nd ,s4 ,if y h p>tly *ang$ y\r feel+s t[>d !m1 draw a circle ar\nd ,p4 ,if y\r feel+ n[ is consid]ably diff]5t f y\r feel+ ?ree or f\r ye>s ago1 draw a circle ar\nd ,d4 #a4 ,pacifism4 ,s ,p ,d #b4 ,labor unions4 ,s ,p ,d #c4 ,less gov]nm5tal sup]vision ( bus9ess4 ,s ,p ,d #d4 ,old-age p5sions4 ,s ,p ,d #e4 ,sit-d[n /rikes4 ,s ,p ,d #f4 ,socialization ( m$ic9e4 ,s ,p ,d #g4 ,emphasis t colleges place ^u activities4 ,s ,p ,d #h4 ,! ,soviet ,union4 ,s ,p ,d #i4 ,di/ribution ( weal?4 ,s ,p ,d #aj4 ,capital puni%m5t4 ,s ,p ,d #aa4 ,/]ilization ( ! feeble-m9d$4 ,s ,p ,d #ab4 8,"w-or-/>ve0 relief legislation4 ,s ,p ,d #ac4 ,ne$ = polls l ! ,gallup or ,=tune polls ( public op9ion4 ,s ,p ,d #ad4 ,bas+ taxation on ! ability to pay4 ,s ,p ,d #ae4 ,pref]5ces = /yles ( homes4 ,s ,p ,d ,,trait ,,ix 7,s]i\sness7 ,bel[ is a li/ ( topics :i* p consid] to "s ext5t at "o "t or ano!r4 ,w y indicate ! degree ( ?9k+ y h giv5 ea* ( !m dur+ ! pa/ ye> by draw+ a circle ar\nd ,m if y h done mu* ?9k+2 ar\nd ,s if y h done "s ?9k+2 ar\nd ,l if y h done a little ?9k+2 & ar\nd ,n if y h done no ?9k+4 #a4 ,responsibilities t p>5ts & *ildr5 %\ld %>e4 ,m ,s ,l ,n #b4 ,prop] tra9+ ( *ildr54 ,m ,s ,l ,n #c4 ,immoral influ5ces ( movies on *ildr54 ,m ,s ,l ,n #d4 ,smok+ ( cig>ettes by girls & wom54 ,m ,s ,l ,n #e4 ,importance ( regul> sav+ ( "p ( income4 ,m ,s ,l ,n #f4 ,use ( ! atomic bomb 9 w>f>e4 ,m ,s ,l ,n #g4 ,regul> att5dance ( religi\s s]vices4 ,m ,s ,l ,n #h4 ,! way or place to sp5d y\r vacation4 ,m ,s ,l ,n #i4 ,/rict] c5sor%ip ( books & magaz9es4 ,m ,s ,l ,n #aj4 ,le>n+ to dance1 ski1 skate1 etc4 ,m ,s ,l ,n #aa4 ,punctuality on a job or regul> class att5dance4 ,m ,s ,l ,n #ab4 ,gett+ bett] grades at s*ool or work+ = a promotion4 ,m ,s ,l ,n #ac4 ,! co/ ( liv+4 ,m ,s ,l ,n #ad4 ,life aft] dea?4 ,m ,s ,l ,n #ae4 ,automobile accid5ts caus$ by reckless driv+4 ,m ,s ,l ,n ,,trait ,x 7,family ,backgr\nd7 ,be absolutely tru?ful 9 tak+ ?is te/2 try to be objective & hone/ ) y\rself4 ,answ] ,yes or ,no if possible2 if y c't decide ,yes or ,no1 !n circle ! "q m>k4 #a4 ,7 y\r own p>5ts q happily m>ri$8 ,,yes 8 ,,no #b4 ,did y h a happy *ildhood8 ,,yes 8 ,,no #c4 ,did y h a great deal ( love & affection = y\r "m8 ,,yes 8 ,,no #d4 ,did y h a great deal ( love & affection = y\r fa!r8 ,,yes 8 ,,no #e4 ,did y get along well ) y\r "m )\t any s]i\s conflict8 ,,yes 8 ,,no #f4 ,did y get along well ) y\r fa!r )\t any s]i\s conflict8 ,,yes 8 ,,no #g4 ,0 y\r home discipl9e firm b n h>%8 ,,yes 8 ,,no #h4 ,0 ! puni%m5t t y receiv$ bo? mild & infrequ5t8 ,,yes 8 ,,no #i4 ,is y\r pres5t attitude t[>d sex free f disgu/ or av]sion8 ,,yes 8 ,,no #aj4 ,0 at lea/ "o ( y\r p>5ts easy to talk to1 & frank1 ab\t matt]s ( sex8 ,,yes 8 ,,no #aa4 ,7 y re>$ 9 ei!r ! c\ntry1 a small t[n1 or ! suburbs ( a city8 ,,yes 8 ,,no #ab4 ,d y g to *ur* ?ree or f\r times 7or m7 e mon?8 ,,yes 8 ,,no #ac4 ,are y regul>ly employ$8 ,,yes 8 ,,no #ad4 ,d y h _m fri5ds ( y\r own sex8 ,,yes 8 ,,no #ae4 ,d y belong to ?ree or m social organizations8 ,,yes 8 ,,no ,directions = ,scor+ ,y\r ,te/s ,d n read ^! scor+ directions until aft] y h tak5 ! te/s4 ,:5 y h m>k$ ! te/s accord+ to ! directions1 !n y are ready to score !m4 ,because all ! te/s are n scor$ 9 ! same way1 be sure y score !m v c>efully4 ,aft] hav+ done s1 !n turn to ! fur!r directions1 "s ( :i* apply to a man1 "s ( :i* apply to a girl4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,te/ ,,= ,,trait ,i4 ,= ea* item t y h m>k$ ,m1 give y\rself ?ree po9ts2 = ea* "o t y m>k$ ,s1 give y\rself two po9ts2 = ea* item t y m>k$ ,l1 give y\rself "o po9t4 ,items m>k$ ,n are c\nt$ z]o4 ,!n add ^! numb]s up = y\r total score on ,trait ,i4 ,= example1 if y m>k$ f\r ( ! fifte5 items ,m1 t w\ld give y twelve po9ts2 let u say y also m>k$ five items ,s1 t w\ld be five times two po9ts1 or t5 m po9ts2 if y m>k$ ?ree items ,l1 t w\ld be ano!r ?ree po9ts4 ,t w\ld leave ?ree items t y m>k$ ,n = :i* y get no cr$it4 ,y\r total score on ,trait ,i w\ld !n be #ab #aj #c #be po9ts4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,te/ ,,= ,,trait ,,ii4 ,= ea* ,a y m>k$1 y get two po9ts & = ea* ,r y get "o po9t4 ,items t y answ]$ ,d are c\nt$ z]o4 ,add ^! up = y\r total score4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,te/ ,,on ,,trait ,,iii4 ,! scor+ is rev]s$ on ?is te/ f t us$ = ,trait ,i4 ,on ,trait ,,iii1 ,m is scor$ z]o1 ea* ,s gets cr$it ( "o po9t1 ea* ,l gets cr$it ( two po9ts1 & ea* ,n gets cr$it ( ?ree po9ts4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,te/ ,,on ,,trait ,,iv4 ,y m>k$ ! items on ?is te/ ei!r1 ,t1 ,d1 or ,f4 ,^? y m>k$ ,t are scor$ z]o4 ,= ea* ,d answ] y get "o po9t1 & = ea* ,f answ] y get two po9ts4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,te/ ,,on ,,trait ,v4 ,ea* m>k$ ,m gets z]o cr$it1 ea* ,s gets "o po9t1 ea* ,l gets two po9ts1 & ea* ,n gets ?ree po9ts4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,te/ ,,on ,,trait ,,vi4 ,ea* ,m gets ?ree po9ts1 ea* ,s gets two po9ts1 ea* ,l gets "o po9t1 & ,n receives no cr$it4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,te/ ,,on ,,trait ,,vii4 ,?is is ! te/ 9 :i* f\r words come aft] ea* ^w 9 capitals4 ,! fir/ ( ! f\r words gets ?ree po9ts if circl$1 ! second gets two po9ts1 ! ?ird ^w gets "o po9t1 & ! la/ ^w receives no cr$it4 ,take ! ^w ,,pa/4 ,if y m>k$ x ye/]day1 or ! ^w 9 ! fir/ column1 y get ?ree po9ts2 if =get is circl$ in/ead y w\ld get two po9ts4 ,if y m>k$ x hidd51 y get no cr$it = t ^w4 ,add all y\r po9ts = y\r total score4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,te/ ,,on ,,trait ,,viii4 ,! items 9 ?is te/ 7 m>k$ ,s1 ,p1 or ,d4 ,items m>k$ ,s get no cr$it4 ,= ea* item m>k$ ,p1 give y\rself "o po9t cr$it2 = ea* item m>k$ ,d1 give y\rself two po9ts cr$it4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,te/ ,,on ,,trait ,,ix4 ,ea* ,m gets ?ree po9ts2 ea* ,s1 two po9ts2 ea* ,l1 "o po9t1 ea* ,n gets no cr$it4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,te/ ,,on ,,trait ,x4 ,9 ?is te/ y 7 ask$ to m>k y\r answ]s ei!r ,yes1 81 or ,no4 ,= ea* ,yes1 give y\rself t5 po9ts2 = ea* "q m>k1 cr$it y\rself ) five po9ts4 ,y receive no cr$it = any "q t y answ]$ ,no4 ,if y h foll[$ c>efully ! directions t h be5 giv5 y1 y n[ h t5 sep>ate raw scores1 "o = ea* ( ! t5 traits on :i* y 7 te/$4 ,we are n[ ready to see :at ^! scores mean4 ,us+ ! little outl9e bel[1 put d[n y\r scores4 ,,y\r ,,raw ,,score ,,trait ,i ,,trait ,,vi ,,trait ,,ii ,,trait ,,vii ,,trait ,,iii ,,trait ,,viii ,,trait ,,iv ,,trait ,,ix ,,trait ,v ,,trait ,x ,,n[ ,,f9d ,,y\r ,,adju/$ ,,score ,if y are a man ,if y are a woman ,,trait ,i 7,repeat raw score7 7,repeat raw score7 ,,trait ,,ii 7,repeat raw score7 7,repeat raw score7 ,,trait ,,iii 7,d\ble raw score7 7,repeat raw score7 ,,trait ,,iv 7,d\ble raw score7 7,multiply raw score by #d7 ,,trait ,v 7,repeat raw score7 7,d\ble raw score7 ,,trait ,,vi 7,repeat raw score7 7,repeat raw score7 ,,trait ,,vii 7,d\ble raw score7 7,repeat raw score7 ,,trait ,,viii 7,repeat raw score7 7,repeat raw score7 ,,trait ,,ix 7,repeat raw score7 7,d\ble raw score7 ,,trait ,x 7,repeat raw score7 7,repeat raw score7 ---------------------------------------- ----------------------------- ,total ,score 7add ! #aj scores7 ,total ,score ,?us1 if y 7 a man y repeat$ all ( y\r orig9al 8raw0 scores except 9 traits ,,iii1 ,,iv1 & ,,vii :]e y d\bl$ ! raw score4 ,= example if y\r raw score on ,,iii 0 tw5ty-eight y\r adju/$ score %\ld be fifty-six4 ,likewise if y 7 a girl y repeat$ y\r raw scores 9 all b ,,iv1 ,v1 & ,,ix4 ,y quadrupl$ ! score on ,,iv & d\bl$ ea* ( ! o!r two4 ,int]pretation ( ,y\r ,f9al ,adju/$ ,scores ,,trait ,i4 ,if y\r score 0 ?irty or above y w\ld seem to be a v sociable p]son1 q fond ( ! company ( o!rs1 "o :o has v broad int]e/s1 & :o w probably enjoy talk+ ?+s ov] ) y\r mate4 ,a score ( tw5ty-five is ab\t av]age4 ,if y\r score is tw5ty or less1 y are probably cauti\s ab\t mak+ fri5ds1 h r specializ$ int]e/s1 & are n v talkative unless ! topic is q int]e/+ to y4 ,x may be wise1 if y h a l[ score1 to try to develop m fri5ds1 h m ( a social life1 & to get out ( y\r %ell4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,trait ,,ii4 ,if y\r score 0 fifte5 or m y are probably a con=m+ p]son1 agreeable & pois$4 ,y t5d to be cop]ative ev5 ?\gh y are positive & firm :5 y\r m9d is made up4 ,a score ( elev5 is av]age4 ,if y\r score 0 eight or less1 y may be bullhead$1 dom9e]+1 & argum5tative4 ,x may be wise1 if y h a l[ score1 to try to rememb] t ! o!r p]son has a "r to 8 own op9ion & t y may lose fri5ds & make enemies unless y act m diplomatically4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,trait ,,iii4 ,if y\r score 0 fifty-six or m if a man1 or tw5ty-eight or m if a girl1 y are probably a tranquil p]son :o is n easily irritat$ or annoy$4 ,y r>ely 8fly (f ! h&le0 or become impati5t2 ?is is p>ticul>ly important if y are a man4 ,a score ( =ty-six = a man or tw5ty-?ree = a girl is typical or av]age4 ,if y\r score is ?irty-six or less if a man or eighte5 or less if a girl1 y are probably an irritable p]son :o is easily annoy$4 ,y may lose y\r temp] too easily & /ay peev$ too long4 ,y %\ld make an ef=t to control y\r temp] & to ?9k be=e y speak1 especially :5 y are annoy$ or provok$4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,trait ,,iv4 ,if y\r score is fifty or m if y are a man1 or "o hundr$ or m if y are a girl1 y w\ld seem to be a frank1 dep5dable p]son :o makes few excuses & :o tries to face reality & d a good job4 ,a score ( =ty = a man & eighty = a girl are av]age4 ,if y are a man & h a score ( ?irty or less or are a girl & h a score ( sixty or less1 y t5d to blame y\r mi/akes on o!rs1 may %irk y\r responsibilities1 exagg]ate & daydream too mu*4 ,if y\r score 0 l[1 y %\ld try to improve1 especially if y are a girl = :om ?is trait is q crucial 9 m>riage happ9ess4 ,try to be m hone/ ) y\rself & o!rs2 be less unreasonable1 & /op be+ suspici\s & res5tful ( p :o d n ?9k & act z y d4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,trait ,v4 ,if y are a man & h a score ( =ty or m1 or are a girl & h a score ( eighty or m1 y w\ld appe> to be a /able p]son1 confid5t1 & responsible4 ,y c "w ) o!rs or c "w by y\rself )\t gett+ lonely & depress$4 ,an av]age score is ?irty = a man or sixty = a woman4 ,if y are a man & h a score ( fifte5 or less1 or are a girl ) a score ( ?irty or less1 y may be un/able1 n]v\s1 & fe>ful4 ,y may feel inf]ior at times & get blue & disc\rag$4 ,y ne$ to raise y\r op9ion ( y\rself4 ,acquire m social skills1 tra9 y\rself to be v good or exp]t 9 some?+ l a sport or a hobby4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,trait ,,vi4 ,if y\r score 0 ?irty or above1 y w\ld seem to h extremely high ideals & /&>ds1 especially if y are a man4 ,:ile ?is is g5]ally desirable1 don't p]mit y\rself to become too intol]ant or prejudic$ ab\t o!rs4 ,a score ( tw5ty-five is av]age4 ,a score ( tw5ty or less is l[ & may indicate t y are too broadm9d$1 too flexible & exp$i5t 9 y\r /&>ds & ideals4 ,wat* ?is because y are n ! sort ( p]son :o %\ld let himself g4 ,keep a firm grip on y\rself1 & rememb] x is easi] nev] to beg9 a bad habit ?an x is to break "o4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,trait ,,vii4 ,if y\r score is eighty or m if y are a man1 =ty or m if y are a girl1 y are probably a v objective p]son :o ?9ks l mo/ o!r p ?9k4 ,y are probably q /eady1 look at ?+s dispassionately1 & are nei!r repress$ nor hyp]critical4 ,a score ( sev5ty = a man1 or ( ?irty-five = a girl is av]age4 ,a score ( sixty or less = a man or ( ?irty or less = a girl may indicate t y are temp]am5tal & emotional4 ,y may1 at times1 appe> peculi> & odd to y\r fri5ds4 ,y may be repress$4 ,associate z mu* z possible ) o!rs4 ,don't be ! fir/ to sugge/ some?+ diff]5t or ! la/ to give 94 99 99 99 99 99 ,,trait ,,viii4 ,if y\r score is tw5ty-two or m1 y w\ld seem to be a p]son ^: attitudes & int]e/s are flexible & adaptable especially if y are 9 ! tw5ties4 ,if y are 9 ! ?irties or =ties a high score is probably less desirable ?an an av]age score4 ,a score ( ?irte5 is av]age4 ,if y\r score is eight or less1 y w\ld seem to be a v p]si/5t p]son ^: attitudes & int]e/s are s fix$ & rigid t y may f9d x difficult to adju/ readily 9 m>riage4 ,especially w\ld t seem to be ! case if y are 9 ! tw5ties4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,trait ,,ix4 ,if y are a man & y\r f9al score is ?irty or above2 or if y are a girl ^: adju/$ 7d\bl$7 score is sixty or m1 y w\ld seem to be a ?\ghtful p]son :o has done consid]able ?9k+ ab\t m>riage & its responsibilities4 ,p>ticul>ly does ?is seem to be true ( wom54 ,attitudes t[>d m>riage w\ld appe> to be :olesome & conc]n$ ab\t mak+ ! m>riage a success4 ,a score ( tw5ty-f\r = a man or ( =ty-eight = a girl is av]age4 ,a score ( eighte5 or less = a man or ( ?irty-six or less = a girl is l[ & sugge/s t y may be immature 9 y\r ?9k+ & t y h n giv5 mu* consid]ation or ?\ght to ! responsibilities ( m>riage4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,trait ,x4 ,?is te/ measur$ y\r family backgr\nd to see if y _h be5 re>$ 9 ! k9d ( home 9 :i* p>5ts & circum/ances 7 favorable to develop+ traits & attitudes ess5tial to happy m>riage4 ,if y scor$ #abj or m1 & rememb] ! high] ! score ! bett]1 y\r family backgr\nd 0 conducive to y\r happ9ess 9 m>riage4 ,a score ( "o hundr$ is av]age4 ,if y scor$ eighty or less1 x w\ld seem t y\r family backgr\nd 0 n "o t t5d$ to develop 9 y ! traits & attitudes necess>y = happ9ess 9 m>riage4 ,summ>y ,y took a total ( t5 te/s4 ,if y foll[$ ! directions1 y h scor$ !m correctly4 7,if y 7 a man1 y d\bl$ y\r scores on ,traits ,,iii1 ,,iv1 & ,,vii be=e y int]pret$ !m4 ,if y 7 a girl1 y d\bl$ y\r scores on ,traits ,v & ,,ix & quadrupl$1 or multipli$ by f\r1 ! score y e>n$ on ,trait ,,iv47 ,aft] hav+ made ^! adju/m5ts1 y !n read ! int]pretations & saw h[ y comp>$ ) o!r p ( y\r own sex4 ,p]haps y\r prospective mate also took ! te/s & bo? ( y n[ "k h[ y /& z individuals4 ,we hope y & y\r mate made av]age to high scores on all ( ^! te/s4 ,b n[ y want to "k if y are ! sort ( p]son1 & if y\r mate is ! sort ( p]son1 :o w be happy 9 m>riage4 ,g back to y\r f9al adju/$ scores on ! t5 te/s4 ,add all t5 ( ^! te/ scores toge!r if y h n already done s to see :at ! total is4 ,if y are a man1 & y\r total is #dej or above y w\ld seem to be ! sort ( p]son :o has an excell5t *ance ( f9d+ happ9ess 9 m>riage4 ,?is is p>ticul>ly likely to be ! case if y also made high scores on ,traits ,,iii1 ,,iv1 ,,vii1 & ,x4 ,if y made a score ( ab\t #cej y w\ld seem to be a p]son :o has ab\t an av]age *ance ( a*iev+ m>riage happ9ess4 ,if y made a score ( #bfe or less1 y w ne$ to use great c>e 9 select+ y\r mate & be will+ to "w v h>d at mak+ y\r m>riage happy4 ,if y are a girl & if y\r score is five hundr$ or m1 y are ! k9d ( p]son :o w\ld seem to h an excell5t *ance ( be+ happy 9 m>riage4 ,especially is ?is likely to be ! case if y made high scores on ,traits ,,iv1 ,v1 ,,ix1 & ,x4 ,if y made a score ( ab\t f\r hundr$1 y\r *ances w\ld seem to be ab\t av]age t y w f9d happ9ess 9 m>riage4 ,a score ( ?ree hundr$ or less is n too favorable to happ9ess 9 m>riage4 ,9 our next *apt] y are go+ to be able to comp>e y\r te/+ p>tn] ) y\rself & see if ! two ( y w\ld be likely to be happy 7if y m>ri$ ea* o!r74 ,s f> we h j tri$ to f9d out if y1 or if y\r mate1 is likely to be happy 9 :atev] m>riage is ent]$ ^u4 ,9 ?is next *apt] we want to f9d out if y two p are likely to be happy 9 y\r m>riage to ea* o!r4 ,y w h ne$ = ! f9al 7adju/$7 scores on ea* ( ! t5 te/s1 z well z y\r f9al or total score y calculat$ by add+ ! t5 sep>ate scores4 ,) ^! scores = bo? y\rself & y\r mate1 plus ! answ]s to sev]al o!r que/ions1 y w be able to f9d out if ! two ( y are likely to be happy :5 y m>ry ea* o!r4 ,*apt] ,,xii ,n[1 ,see ,h[ ,y ,mat* z a ,c\ple6 ,9 ! la/ *apt] y--& p]haps a te/+ p>tn]--took t5 te/s to det]m9e y\r individual *ances ( a*iev+ happ9ess 9 m>riage4 ,! te/s record$ y\r rat+ on n9e important p]sonality traits & on y\r family backgr\nd4 ,n[ we w see h[ well mat*$ y are4 ,x is possible t y c get a r\gh idea h[ well y are mat*$ to an abs5tee p]son )\t hav+ him take any ( ! te/s 9 ^! two *apt]s4 ,sugge/ions = proc$ure 9 su* a case are giv5 at ! end ( ?is *apt]4 ,h[ev]1 x is mu* m desirable1 if y want a really accurate picture1 to h ! o!r p]son take ! te/s & d ! mat*+ ) y4 ,! mat*+ ( y two w be bas$ n only on ! scores y made 9 ! t5 te/s j tak5 & y\r total score on ! te/s1 b also on t5 o!r factors :i* we h f\nd are important 9 pr$ict+ m>ital success4 ,!y include su* ?+s z age1 education1 l5g? ( c\rt%ip & t5d5cy to qu>rel4 ,^! factors toge!r ) y\r te/ results w pres5t an accurate ov]-all picture ( y\r compatibility = m>riage1 or lack ( x4 ,& incid5tally a 8mat*+0 ( two p is n z important :5 bo? ! man & ! girl made a high score 7above f\r hundr$7 9 ! t5 te/s j tak5 z x is if "o made a l[ score & ! o!r a high score1 or if bo? made l[ scores4 ,fir/ ( all let's pair up y\r scores on ^? t5 te/s 9 ! la/ *apt] to see :at y\r scores mean on ea* trait :5 !y are pair$ toge!r4 ,trait ,i is a sociability factor4 ,y c see h[ two p1 "o :o is sociable & some?+ ( a gadab\t & ! o!r a home-body :o isn't sociable1 might n be well mat*$4 ,bo? %\ld be sociable & l to g out & be ) p1 or bo? %\ld be fireside toa/]s1 home-lov+ s\ls :o enjoy be+ alone ) ea* o!r4 ,trait ,,ii is a measure ( con=mity1 ( agreeabl5ess to o!rs1 & consci5ti\sness4 ,:ile x is bett] = bo? to score high on ?is trait1 if "o scores l[1 x is bett] t ! o!r score high4 ,trait ,,iii is a measure ( tranquillity or lack ( irritability4 ,:ile x is bett] = bo? to score high1 if "o scores l[1 x is important t ! o!r %\ld score high1 or !re may be consid]able bick]+ & angry feel+s4 ,trait ,,iv is a measure ( dep5dability1 frankness1 & will+ness to accept responsibility4 ,?is trait is ( great importance to happ9ess ( bo? m5 & wom51 & x is especially important t a girl score high "h4 ,bo? %\ld score high1 b if "o scores l[1 x is q important t ! o!r score high4 ,trait ,v is a measure ( /ability4 ,our rese>* %[s t x is ( ! greate/ importance t ! two p make ab\t ! same scores on ?is te/4 ,:ile x is bett] = bo? to be high1 x is m crucial t ! girl make a high score1 be v /able1 ?an x is = ! man4 ,trait ,,vi is a measure ( /&>ds & ideals4 ,bo? %\ld h high scores b x is m important t ! man h a good score ?an ! girl because girls h be5 tra9$ to h high] ideals ?an m54 ,if "o mate has a v l[ score1 !n ! o!r by all means %\ld h a high score4 ,t comb9ation w provide a balance :eel4 ,trait ,,vii is a measure ( /ead9ess & fre$om f excess emotionality4 ,:ile m important t ! man score high1 because 9 mo/ cases he w be ! income e>n]1 bo? %\ld make ab\t ! same scores4 ,trait ,,viii is a measure ( flexibility & adaptability4 ,:ile av]age to high scores are important1 & :ile agreem5t or ab\t ! same scores are desirable1 if "o mu/ score l[ x is bett] = ! man to d s ?an = ! woman4 ,trait ,,ix is a measure ( ?\ghtfulness & consid]ation4 ,?is is a mu* m important trait = wom5 ?an = m51 yet at ! same "t1 m>riage happ9ess is def9itely promot$ by bo? mak+ ab\t ! same scores4 ,trait ,x is important = ei!r ! man or ! woman1 because x measures ! family backgr\nd ( bo? p4 ,x is important t bo? score z high z possible on ?is trait4 ,x is ev5 m important = ! girl to score high ?an x is = ! man4 ,b if ei!r mate %\ld score l[1 x is mo/ important t ! o!r score high4 ,to sum up1 x is important t bo? p make ab\t ! same scores on sociability 7,i71 con=mity 7,,ii71 dep5dability 7,,iv71 /ability 7,v7 idealism 7,,vi71 flexibility 7,,viii7 & s]i\sness 7,,ix71 & ! high] ! bett]4 ,if "o scor$ l[ on ! o!r ?ree 7tranquillity1 /ead9ess & family backgr\nd7 x is important t ! o!r score high4 ,b h[ c y get a m detail$1 concrete picture ( y\r compatibility1 or lack ( x8 ,on ! foll[+ pages y are go+ to see y\r degree ( compatibility em]ge f a s]ies ( tw5ty-"o figures4 ,:5 ^? tw5ty-"o figures are total$ y w h y\r answ]4 ,in/ructions ,fir/ glance ov] ^! 8,d ,y ,mat*80 tables on ! next few pages to famili>ize y\rself ) !m4 ,9 ! tw5ty-"o blocks y w mat* y\rselves on ! t5 traits already te/$1 y w mat* y\r total scores on ^? traits & !n 9 ! la/ t5 w mat* y\rself on t5 o!r factors4 ,take ! v fir/ item1 8,te/ ,i40 ,?is mat*es y on sociability4 ,suppose ! man _h an adju/$ score ( tw5ty-sev5 :5 he took ! sociability te/ 9 ! la/ *apt] & ! girl _h a score ( tw5ty-f\r4 ,look ov] ! five alt]native comb9ations to see :]e su* a scor+ fits4 ,x fits 9 comb9ation 7d7 s y %\ld write a cr$it ( ?ree po9ts 9 ! block on ! "r4 ,on 8,te/ ,,ii10 suppose ! man made an adju/$ score ( eighte5 & ! girl ( sev54 ,t's a big diff]5ce4 ,s9ce no su* comb9ation is %[n1 write a z]o 9 ! block4 ,,d ,,y ,,mat*8 ,,te/ ,i4 a4 ,bo? scor$ #cj or above1 give cr$it ( #aj po9ts b4 ,"o scor$ #cj or above1 o!r scor$ #be-bi1 cr$it #e po9ts c4 ,bo? scor$ #be-bi1 cr$it #e po9ts d4 ,"o scor$ #be-bi1 o!r scor$ #ba-bd1 cr$it #c po9ts e4 ,any o!r comb9ation receives no cr$it ,,te/ ,,ii4 a4 ,bo? scor$ #ae or above1 give cr$it ( #h po9ts b4 ,"o scor$ #ae or above1 o!r scor$ #aa-ad1 cr$it #d po9ts c4 ,bo? scor$ #aa-ad1 cr$it #b po9ts d4 ,any o!r comb9ation receives no cr$it ,,te/ ,,iii4 a4 ,man scor$ #ef or above1 girl #bh or above1 cr$it #ab po9ts b4 ,man scor$ #ef or above1 girl #bc-bg1 cr$it #aj po9ts c4 ,man scor$ #df-ee1 girl #bc or above1 cr$it #h po9ts d4 ,man scor$ #cg-de1 girl scor$ #bc or above1 cr$it #e po9ts e4 ,any o!r comb9ation receives no cr$it ,,te/ ,,iv4 a4 ,man scor$ #ej or above1 girl #ajj or above1 cr$it #bj po9ts b4 ,girl scor$ #ajj or above1 man scor$ #dj-di1 cr$it #ae po9ts c4 ,girl scor$ #ajj or above1 man scor$ #ca-ci1 cr$it #aj po9ts d4 ,man scor$ #dj-di1 girl scor$ #ha-ii1 cr$it #h po9ts e4 ,man scor$ #ca-ci1 girl scor$ #ha-ii1 cr$it #e po9ts f4 ,any o!r comb9ation receives no cr$it ,,te/ ,v4 a4 ,man scor$ #dj or above1 girl #hj or above1 cr$it #ae po9ts b4 ,man scor$ #ca-ci1 girl #hj or above1 cr$it #ab po9ts c4 ,man scor$ #ba-bi1 girl #hj or above1 cr$it #aj po9ts d4 ,man scor$ #dj or above1 girl #fj-gi1 cr$it #h po9ts e4 ,man scor$ #ca-ci1 girl #fj-gi1 cr$it #e po9ts f4 ,any o!r comb9ation receives no cr$it ,,te/ ,,vi4 a4 ,bo? scor$ #cj or above1 give cr$it ( #aj po9ts b4 ,"o scor$ #cj or above1 o!r scor$ #be-bi1 cr$it #e po9ts c4 ,bo? scor$ #be-bi1 cr$it #e po9ts d4 ,"o scor$ #be-bi1 o!r scor$ #ba-bd1 cr$it #c po9ts e4 ,any o!r comb9ation receives no cr$it ,,te/ ,,vii4 a4 ,man scor$ #hj or above1 girl #dj or above1 cr$it #ab po9ts b4 ,man scor$ #hj or above1 girl #ce-ci1 cr$it #aj po9ts c4 ,man scor$ #ga-gi1 girl #dj or above1 cr$it #h po9ts d4 ,man scor$ #ga-gi1 girl #ce-ci1 cr$it #e po9ts e4 ,man scor$ #fa-fi1 girl #dj or above1 cr$it #c po9ts f4 ,any o!r comb9ation receives no cr$it ,,te/ ,,viii4 a4 ,bo? scor$ #bb or above1 cr$it #aj po9ts b4 ,man scor$ #bb or above1 girl #ac-ba1 cr$it #h po9ts c4 ,man scor$ #ac-ba1 girl scor$ #bb or above1 cr$it #e po9ts d4 ,man scor$ #ac-ba1 girl scor$ #ac-ba1 cr$it #c po9ts e4 ,any o!r comb9ation receives no cr$it ,,te/ ,,ix4 a4 ,man scor$ #cj or above1 girl scor$ #fj or above1 cr$it #ae po9ts b4 ,man scor$ #bd-bi1 girl scor$ #fj or above1 cr$it #ab po9ts c4 ,man scor$ #ai-bc1 girl scor$ #fj or above1 cr$it #aj po9ts d4 ,man scor$ #cj or above1 girl #dh-ei1 cr$it #h po9ts e4 ,man scor$ #bd-bi1 girl scor$ #dh-ei1 cr$it #e po9ts f4 ,any o!r comb9ation receives no cr$it ,,te/ ,x4 a4 ,bo? scores #abj or above1 cr$it #bj po9ts b4 ,"o scores #ajj-aai1 o!r scores #abj or above1 cr$it #ae po9ts c4 ,bo? score #ajj-aai1 cr$it #aj po9ts d4 ,"o scores #abj or above1 o!r scores #ha-ij1 cr$it #h po9ts e4 ,"o scores #ajj-aai1 o!r scores #hj or less1 cr$it #e po9ts f4 ,any o!r comb9ation receives no cr$it ,,total ,,te/ ,,score 7,total ( all t5 te/s z scor$ 9 ,*apt] ,,xi7 a4 ,man #dfj or above1 girl #ejj or m1 cr$it #be po9ts b4 ,man #djj-dei1 girl #ejj or m1 cr$it #bj po9ts c4 ,man #dfj or above1 girl #dbe-dii1 cr$it #ae po9ts d4 ,man #djj-dei1 girl #dbe-dii1 cr$it #aj po9ts e4 ,man #cej-dbe1 girl #djj or above1 cr$it #e po9ts f4 ,any o!r comb9ation receives no cr$it ,n[ score y\r compatibility on ! t5 additional factors foll[+ & fill ! prop] cr$its 9 ! blocks j z y h be5 do+4 ,on factors #g1 #h & #i be> 9 m9d t y _c c\nt z a "p ( y\r acqua9tance%ip1 c\rt%ip or engagem5t any p]iod ( "t ( ?ree mon?s or long] :5 y did n see ea* o!r1 z is ! case :]e a man 0 ov]seas4 #a4 ,,p>5ts a4 ,bo? sets ( p>5ts happily m>ri$1 cr$it #ae po9ts b4 ,"o set ( p>5ts happy1 o!r set av]age1 cr$it #aj po9ts c4 ,bo? sets ( p>5ts av]age 9 happ9ess1 cr$it #h po9ts d4 ,"o set happy1 o!r set n happy1 cr$it #e po9ts e4 ,any o!r comb9ation receives no cr$it #b4 ,,s*ool+ a4 ,bo? memb]s ( ! c\ple h _h education beyond high s*ool1 cr$it #aj po9ts b4 ,bo? h complet$ high s*ool1 cr$it #h po9ts c4 ,"o has "s college1 ! o!r has f9i%$ high s*ool1 #e po9ts d4 ,any o!r comb9ation receives no cr$it #c4 ,,religion a4 ,bo? regul>ly att5d ! same or simil> *ur*es1 cr$it #ae po9ts b4 ,bo? are ,jews1 ,ca?olics1 or ,prote/ants1 cr$it #aj po9ts c4 ,al?\gh basic religions diff]1 bo? h ab\t ! same views1 cr$it #e po9ts d4 ,any o!r comb9ation receives no cr$it #d4 ,,p>5tal ,,approval a4 ,bo? sets ( p>5ts approve ?is mat*1 cr$it #ab po9ts b4 ,"o set approves1 ! o!r is n oppos$1 cr$it #aj po9ts c4 ,"o set approves1 "o set opposes1 cr$it #e po9ts d4 ,any o!r comb9ation receives no cr$it #e4 ,,age ,,comp>ison a4 ,bo? p are )9 #c ye>s age ( ea* o!r1 cr$it #aj po9ts b4 ,girl is ?ree or m ye>s old] ?an man1 cr$it #e po9ts c4 ,any o!r comb9ation receives no cr$it #f4 ,,ye>s ,,( ,,age a4 ,man is at lea/ #be ye>s1 girl at lea/ #bb1 cr$it #aj po9ts b4 ,man is at lea/ #bc ye>s1 girl at lea/ #bj1 cr$it #e po9ts c4 ,man #bb ye>s or old]1 girl at lea/ #ai1 cr$it #c po9ts d4 ,any o!r comb9ation receives no cr$it #g4 ,,acqua9tance%ip a4 ,h kn[n ea* o!r six ye>s or m1 cr$it #bj po9ts b4 ,h kn[n ea* o!r #c b less ?an #f ye>s1 cr$it #ae po9ts c4 ,h kn[n ea* o!r #b b less ?an #c ye>s1 cr$it #aj po9ts d4 ,h kn[n ea* o!r #a b less ?an #b ye>s1 cr$it #e po9ts e4 ,any o!r comb9ation receives no cr$it #h4 ,,dat+ a4 ,h be5 dat+ & go+ /eady #c ye>s or m1 cr$it #bj po9ts b4 ,h be5 dat+ & go+ /eady #b b less ?an #c ye>s1 cr$it #ae po9ts c4 ,h be5 go+ /eady #a ye> b less ?an #b ye>s1 cr$it #aj po9ts d4 ,h be5 go+ /eady #h mon?s to #a ye>1 cr$it #e po9ts e4 ,any o!r comb9ation receives no cr$it #i4 ,,engagem5t1 ,,if ,,any a4 ,h be5 def9itely engag$ = ov] #b ye>s1 cr$it #bj po9ts b4 ,h be5 def9itely engag$ #ah mon?s to #b ye>s1 cr$it #ae po9ts c4 ,h be5 def9itely engag$ #ab mon?s to #ah mon?s1 cr$it #aj po9ts d4 ,h be5 def9itely engag$ n less ?an #f mon?s1 cr$it #e po9ts e4 ,if engag$ less ?an #f mon?s1 no cr$it #aj4 ,,qu>rels a4 ,!re h be5 no qu>rels to speak ( dur+ c\rt%ip1 cr$it #bj po9ts b4 ,any misund]/&+s h be5 quickly settl$ by mutual agreem5t1 cr$it #ae po9ts c4 ,:ile !re h be5 conflicts1 no "o 0 s s]i\s t ! c\ple did n see ea* o!r regul>ly1 cr$it #aj po9ts d4 ,misund]/&+s h be5 infrequ5t & h be5 settl$ by "o or ! o!r giv+ 91 cr$it #e po9ts e4 ,any o!r answ] receives no cr$it ---------------------------------------- ---------------------------- ,total ,f9al ,score ,n[1 y h tw5ty-"o scores & a ,total ,f9al ,score4 ,let u see :at ?is score means4 ,if ! ,total ,f9al ,score = y two is #bej or above1 !n y w\ld seem to be v well mat*$4 ,fur!rmore1 x w\ld appe> t y two p %\ld be q happy 9 m>riage4 ,if !re are no unfavorable factors pres5t su* z poor physical heal?1 or inability to make a liv+1 & if y two p are really deeply 9 love1 !n y\r m>riage %\ld be a happy "o4 ,if ! f9al score is #bjj to #bdi1 y w\ld /ill seem to be fairly well mat*$4 ,if !re are no unfavorable factors1 if bo? ( y are old en\gh = m>riage1 if bo? ( y are det]m9$ to make x "w1 y %\ld be happi] ?an is ! av]age c\ple4 ,if y\r f9al score is #aej to #aii1 ! outlook w\ld n seem to be too favorable4 ,y\r m>riage might n be z happy z t ( ! av]age c\ple4 ,:y n wait ano!r six mon?s8 ,give y\rselves "t to see :at "s ( y\r problems are4 ,d some?+ active ab\t !m4 ,x may help y to talk ?+s ov] ) a m>riage c\nselor1 or ) y\r m9i/]1 or somebody else :om y tru/ & :o is mature en\gh to help y analyze ! situation4 ,if y\r score is #adi or less1 !n x w\ld seem t y two p %\ld put (f m>riage = six mon?s or p]haps a ye> or long]4 ,y c be sure !re are "s factors pres5t t %\ld make y /op1 look1 & li/54 ,p]haps bo? ( y are n well adju/$ z sep>ate p]sonalities1 or to ea* o!r4 ,maybe y are ( radically diff]5t religions1 or y\r p>5ts are oppos$ to y\r m>riage4 ,p]haps y ne$ to h a mu* long] p]iod ( c\rt%ip or engagem5t4 ,:atev] ! reason1 y %\ld talk ! matt] ov] ) "s p]son compet5t to advise y4 ,see a good m>riage c\nselor or psy*ologi/ :o specializes 9 guidance4 ,talk ?+s ov] ) y\r m9i/]1 rabbi1 or prie/4 ,y don't want to make a mi/ake & h an unhappy m>riage t might t]m9ate 9 sep>ation or divorce4 ,( c\rse y c say1 & correctly1 t y h little or no responsibility = "s ( ! factors1 su* z ! lack ( happ9ess 9 y\r p>5ts' m>riage4 ,ev5 ?\gh ?is may be ! case1 y h be5 affect$ or influ5c$ by ! pres5ce or abs5ce ( happ9ess 9 y\r own home4 ,:at are "s concrete sugge/ions t may help y br+ ab\t a happy m>riage ev5 ?\gh "o ( y1 or ! two ( y1 may n h made scores typical ( "y c\ples :o get m>ri$ & are happy8 ,^! sugge/ions may be ( help to y3 #a4 ,if y are introv]t$ 7unsociable71 y %\ld increase ! numb] ( social skills t y h4 ,(t5times we f9d t our enjoym5t f association ) o!r p is increas$ greatly :5 we le>n to d "s ( ! ?+s !y d1 su* z dance1 b[l1 swim1 etc4 ,try to be out/&+ 9 some?+4 #b4 ,acquire a philosophy ( life4 ,:at are y\r beliefs & views8 ,are y a cons]vative or a radical 9 politics1 religion1 e?ics8 ,are !re "s guid+ pr9ciples 9 y\r life8 ,if y ar5't sure1 sit d[n ) y\rself & try to figure out :at y believe 9 & practice4 ,*eck x aga9/ y\r own behavior4 ,d y say "o ?+ & d ano!r8 ,are y\r family & fri5ds r sure ab\t :at y believe 91 or d !y h tr\ble pr$ict+ :at y w d next8 #c4 ,is y\r temp] explosive1 unruly1 & peevi%8 ,:y d y get angry8 ,if x is because y feel inf]ior1 :y d y feel inf]ior8 ,c't y d some?+ ab\t x8 ,d y hone/ly try to control y\r temp]8 #d4 ,are y un/able1 fe>ful1 n]v\s8 ,:y8 ,is x because y feel y are unattractive or ignorant1 or are y c>ry+ ar\nd feel+s ( guilt & uneas9ess ab\t some?+ y feel a%am$ (8 ,if x is y\r physical heal?1 see y\r physician4 ,if x is y\r m5tal heal?1 see a cl9ical psy*ologi/ or psy*iatri/4 ,develop a tru/+ confid5tial relation%ip ) someone1 pref]ably an old] p]son1 ) :om y c feel free to unburd5 y\rself4 #e4 ,are y\r /&>ds & ideals too l[1 or too high1 :5 comp>$ to y\r behavior8 ,p]haps y are an intol]ant & prejudic$ p]son :o is too n>r[-m9d$ & prudi%4 ,are y critical & gossipy ab\t _m ( ! ?+s y\r acqua9tances d8 ,d y "k :e!r y h set y\r /&>ds impossibly high2 s high t y h a con/ant feel+ ( fru/ration because y are always fall+ %ort8 #f4 ,are y an emotional p]son1 always go+ (f on a tang5t1 nev] able to keep a /eady c\rse8 ,is x because y ar5't 9 ! "w y want to d8 ,c't y *ange jobs8 ,p]haps y are confus$ 9 y\r ?9k+1 di/urb$ ab\t religion1 morals1 ?+s t are "r or wrong4 ,h y ask$ y\r fri5ds _! ideas8 ,d y keep busy8 ,h y talk$ ?+s ov] ) y\r pa/or8 ,is !re "s s]i\s fru/ration always hang+ ov] y\r head8 ,:y don't y sit d[n1 take /ock ( y\rself8 ,x is only by an inv5tory ( ourselves1 accompani$ by a se>*+ analysis1 t we discov] :at is wrong & see ways to cle> ?+s up4 #g4 ,are y s set 9 y\r ways t y _c see t 8circum/ances alt] cases80 ,d y e>ne/ly try to adapt y\rself to p & new situations or d y expect all ! adaptation to come f somebody else8 ,p]haps y are smug1 nev] h a new idea4 ,try read+ a ,republican newspap] if y nev] read any?+ b a ,democratic pap]4 ,g to a diff]5t *ur*4 ,get out ( ! rut y are 94 ,li/5 to o!r p's ideas = a *ange4 ,don't be s cocksure t y are always "r & ! o!r fell[ always wrong4 #h4 ,d y ev] sit d[n & ?9k8 ,reflect ab\t y\rself1 y\r fri5ds1 y\r activities1 y\r responsibilities8 ,d y /op & ask y\rself if y are selfi% & inconsid]ate8 ,d y sympa?ize ) o!rs1 try to avoid say+ ?+s t may hurt somebody's feel+s8 ,d y build up p r ?an te> d[n8 ,d y g out ( y\r way to help o!rs8 #i4 ,if y & y\r prospective mate are con/antly qu>rel+1 h y /opp$ ask+ ^: fault x is & />t$ do+ y\r be/ to prev5t conflicts8 ,unless y two p settle y\r problems by compromise & mutual give-&-take1 y\r m>riage future looks d>k4 #aj4 ,did y get engag$ %ortly aft] y fir/ met8 ,9 mo/ real love1 an engagem5t r>ely occurs be=e ! c\ple h kn[n & dat$ ea* o!r regul>ly = at lea/ a ye> or long]4 #aa4 ,are y sure x is love8 ,c\ld x be j lonel9ess1 a desire to escape an unpleasant environm5t8 ,are y sure x isn't a 8phantasy ideal80 #ab4 ,:y don't y\r p>5ts approve ?is m>riage8 ,aft] all1 !y may h some?+4 ,look back 9 ! pa/--w]5't !y "r _m times !n :5 y ?\ght !y 7 wrong8 ,unless y\r fri5ds w>mly approve ?is m>riage1 y\r p>5ts are probably "r 9 urg+ y to wait4 #ac4 ,d y really "k y\r mate8 ,:at makes "o a good date doesn't usually make "o a good mate4 ,al?\gh an h\r's enjoym5t ( danc+1 go+ to ! movies1 etc4 may be wond]ful pa/ime1 x may be f> f :at y ne$ 9 a mate4 ,are y sure :at y want 9 a mate is :at y ne$8 ,are y sure t :at y h f\nd is :at y ne$ 9 a mate8 #ad4 ,la/ b n lea/ is ?is prospective mate go+ to be ! sort ( p>5t y want y\r *ildr5 to h8 ,:5 y h f9i%$ ask+ y\rself ^! que/ions1 y w probably h "s good ideas :at to d if y & y\r mate didn't make a score above av]age4 ,take y\r "t4 ,x is easi] to get m>ri$ ?an x is to get sep>at$ or divorc$1 & mu* easi] on "o's disposition 9 ! long run4 ,y want to m>ry b we want y to make a good *oice & to f9d 9 m>riage all ! happ9ess & cont5tm5t t x c br+4 ,proc$ure ,if ,y ,are ,do+ ! ,mat*+ ,alone ,"s read]s may wi% to see h[ !y mat* ) ano!r p]son b w\ld pref] to d ! mat*+ )\t consult+ him4 ,t c be done1 ?\gh ( c\rse x w be mu* less accurate4 ,use ! 8,d ,y ,mat*80 tables 9 ?is *apt]1 j z c\ples work+ toge!r did4 ,y won't h mu* tr\ble scor+ ! la/ t5 ( ! tw5ty-"o items s9ce !y are bas$ on kn[n facts4 ,y\r greate/ problem w be 9 e/imat+ ! scores y\r mate w\ld make 9 ! t5 te/s on p]sonality traits4 ,y\r e/imates w necess>ily be r\gh approximations2 b if y h kn[n ?is p]son = sev]al mon?s y may h a fair idea h[ he w\ld answ] ! v>i\s que/ions 9 ^? te/s & e/imate scores = him accord+ly4 ,be rigidly hone/ :5 y imag9e ! answ]s ?is p]son w\ld make4 ,y c d\ble-*eck y\r compatibility ) su* an abs5tee p]son by tak+ ! foll[+ %ort te/4 ,x is a greatly abbreviat$ *eck on compatibility4 ,,are ,,y ,,well ,,mat$8 ,"h is a f9al *eck-li/ on compatibility1 prim>ily = a p]son :o took ! te/s 9 ,*apt] ,,xi by himself4 ,?is te/1 :i* c be tak5 by ei!r a man or woman1 provides y ) a r\gh gauge = det]m9+ :e!r ! p]son y are dat+ might make a good mate = y4 ,if y are a man1 *ange que/ions to read 8%e0 in/ead ( 8he40 #a4 ,are y two ab\t equally sociable8 ,t is1 are y bo? ei!r gadab\ts or bo? /ay-at-homes8 ,yes ,no #b4 ,are y bo? /]n-m9d$1 ) high ideals1 or else are y bo? broadm9d$ & practical8 ,yes ,no #c4 ,does he f9d satisfaction & rew>d 9 8 "w8 ,yes ,no #d4 ,is he ov] #bj1 "u #dj1 & n divorc$8 ,yes ,no #e4 ,is he reg>d$ by acqua9tances z a solidly dep5dable p]son n giv5 to excuse-mak+ & sly lies8 ,yes ,no #f4 ,h y be5 dat+ /eadily = two ye>s or long]8 ,yes ,no #g4 ,has y\r dat+ be5 relatively free f qu>rels8 ,yes ,no #h4 ,d y & y\r mate h mu* ! same beliefs & attitudes ab\t religion8 ,yes ,no #i4 ,d bo? sets ( p>5ts favor ?is m>riage8 ,yes ,no #aj4 ,did he att5d ,sunday s*ool regul>ly until he 0 at lea/ #ah8 ,yes ,no #aa4 ,is he 9 good physical heal?8 ,yes ,no #ab4 ,d y two h ab\t ! same emotional responsiv5ess or w>m? ( passion8 ,yes ,no #ac4 ,0 he free ( conflict ) 8 p>5ts & did !y discipl9e him firmly b n h>%ly8 ,yes ,no #ad4 ,7 8 p>5ts happily m>ri$8 ,yes ,no #ae4 ,is he free ( jeal\sy & suspicion8 ,yes ,no #af4 ,does he h a calm1 ev5 temp]am5t1 especially if y are "o to fly (f ! h&le quickly8 ,yes ,no #ag4 ,d y bo? h a heal?y attitude t[>d sex8 7,t is1 are y nei!r disgu/$ nor morbidly conc]n$ ) x87 ,yes ,no #ah4 ,is he a temp]ate p]son n giv5 to heavy dr9k+8 ,yes ,no #ai4 ,are y two fairly close toge!r some:]e 9 ! broad middle zone betwe5 be+ timid & reckless8 ,yes ,no #bj4 ,d y bo? ?9k y want *ildr58 ,yes ,no ,if ea* _h sixte5 yes answ]s or m to ! above que/ions1 !n y\r romance w\ld seem to be on fairly solid gr\nd4 ,h[ev]1 aft] y h tak5 ! te/1 !n g back & comp>e ! two sets ( answ]s on all ! que/ions4 ,if ea* _h sev5te5 yes's or m1 & if !re 0 mutual agreem5t1 t is1 if bo? _h ! same yes answ]s to at lea/ fifte5 ( ! que/ions1 !n x w\ld appe> t y\r m>riage is n s mix$ t x _c be made to "w4 ,*apt] ,,xiii ,bew>e ( ,mix$ ,m>riages ,! 8,mix$0 m>riage is any m>riage 9 :i* great diff]5ces exi/ betwe5 ! husb& & wife1 p>ticul>ly diff]5ces ( culture or religi\s tra9+4 ,y also h a 8mix$0 m>riage if !re are decid$ diff]5ces ( p]sonality1 ( intellig5ce1 ( education1 ( age1 ( race or nationality1 ( social culture or ( economic /atus4 ,suppose !re are great diff]5ces4 ,t's :at makes life int]e/+1 "s p say4 ,diff]5ces may be 8int]e/+0 b if !y are really fundam5tal !y c =m a gulf betwe5 ! two mates t w make happ9ess difficult to a*ieve4 ,x is ! conviction ( ! au?ors--bas$ ^u a /udy ( hundr$s ( happy & mis]able m>riages--t ! m a man & girl h 9 common ! m likely !y w enjoy be+ m>ri$4 ,"o ( ! factors t seems to h great importance 9 mak+ a m>riage "w is ! cong5iality ( ! two p]sons4 ,?is cong5iality mu/ be built ^u ! ?+s !y h 9 common4 ,! m ?+s !y h 9 common & ! few] ! diff]5ces1 ! great] ! likelihood ( cong5iality4 ,& ! great] ! ease ) :i* ! two c talk ov] _! mutual problems fully1 frankly1 & und]/&+ly4 ,! success ( a m>riage dep5ds ^u ! total adju/m5t ! two p]sonalities c make to ea* o!r4 ,ev5 :]e c\ples are highly compatible f>-rea*+ adju/m5ts mu/ be made4 ,:5 to ! normal diff]5ces y add fundam5tal diff]5ces ( backgr\nd1 ! %e] problems ( adju/m5t w add a sev]e /ra9 to ! union4 ,suppose ! two p d bridge ! gulf betwe5 !mselves4 ,!re w be great diff]5ces betwe5 _! two sets ( p>5ts t may pres5t problems4 ,& !re w be ! diff]5ces betwe5 _! two sets ( fri5ds4 ,no c\ple lives completely alone4 ,two mates n only take ea* o!r = bett] or worse b also !y mu/ take ) !m ! p>5ts & fri5ds ( ! o!r4 ,take two cases ) :i* we are famili>4 ,!y are typical ( ! cases 9 ! files ( any m>riage c\nselor4 7,_! real names1 ( c\rse1 are n us$47 ,john is =ty-two ye>s old1 a ,ca?olic1 a ,democrat & _h a high s*ool education4 ,8 "y bride1 ,m>g>et1 is tw5ty-f\r1 has _h ?ree ye>s ( college at a fa%ionable f9i%+ s*ool4 ,%e is a ,bapti/ & a ,republican4 ,^! two p ?9k !y are 9 love4 ,p]haps !y are4 ,b on ! o!r h& ,m>g>et 0 attract$ to ,john *iefly = 8 8maturity10 8 h&some appe>ance1 ! v nice complim5ts he paid h]1 & ! success he has made ( himself4 ,%e likes ! idea t he is a self-made man4 7,he is ! junior p>tn] 9 a bus9ess1 & 8 income is ab\t six ?\s& doll>s a ye>47 ,john is fussy & p>simoni\s 9 8 habits & ?9ks t go+ to ! movies once e mon? or two is en\gh = anybody4 ,he is n v sociable & w\ld r /ay at home & read "s ?rill+ my/]y /ory ?an g out4 ,he lives ) 8 p>5ts & has specifi$ t ,m>g>et come & live ) !m z 8 "m is n 9 too good heal?4 ,m>g>et is vivaci\s1 full ( life & en]gy1 v mu* int]e/$ 9 p>ties1 danc+ & sports4 ,%e is w>mhe>t$1 & s9ce %e 0 accu/om$ 9 h] own home to hav+ s]vants1 %e is c>eless :]e %e puts ?+s4 ,aft] %e f9i%es dress+ h] room looks z ?\gh a ,kansas cyclone _h /ruck x4 ,john 0 attract$ to h] despite h] 8odd0 ways because %e _h giv5 him consid]able appreciation = ! progress he has made )\t mu* =mal education4 ,%e is ! mo/ attractive girl :o has ev] %[n an int]e/ 9 him1 & he subconsci\sly feels t h] social position 9 ! community w be an asset to him 9 ! success ( 8 bus9ess4 ,despite _! pres5t pr(essions ( love x is h>d = u to believe ^! two w f9d la/+ happ9ess 9 m>riage4 ,!y h too _m po9ts ( diff]5ce4 ,jim & ,m>y1 9 contra/1 are :at we c\ld call compatible4 ,jim is tw5ty-eight1 a college graduate 9 bus9ess1 & is a junior executive 9 an (fice-supply firm4 ,he is a sociable p]son1 likes ! movies1 wants to g to an occasional dance & has _m fri5ds among bo? sexes4 ,m>y also likes to dance1 has _m fri5ds1 enjoys p>ties & sports4 ,%e 0 graduat$ 9 lib]al arts 9 college b 9 addition took a secret>ial c\rse4 ,he is a ,me?odi/1 %e a ,presbyt]ian4 ,he is an indep5d5t 9 politics ?\gh re>$ 9 a ,republican home4 ,al?\gh ,m>y has vot$ ! ,republican ticket %e t5ds to be some?+ ( a lib]al1 politically4 ,!y became acqua9t$ 9 _! s5ior ye> at college & n[ bo? are work+ at ! same firm4 ,if !y g ?r\gh ) _! m>riage we pr$ict !y w f9d a great deal ( happ9ess 9 x4 ,!y h s _m ?+s 9 common4 ,9 ! la/ few *apt]s we h already po9t$ out h[ crucial x is = a c\ple to h compatible p]sonality traits4 ,/udies h %[n t unhappy c\ples frequ5tly disagree on _! fri5ds1 matt]s ( recreation1 ! way !y demon/rate affection1 ! way *ildr5 %\ld be re>$ & o!r ?+s t are a vital "p ( m>riage4 ,! rese>* ( ! ,m>riage ,c\nsel+ ,s]vice at ,p5n ,/ate has %[n t ! c\ples :o disagree mo/ are ! c\ples ^: p]sonalities are lea/ alike4 ,take ! great diff]5ce ( ideals 9 ! case ( ! son ( ! travel+ salesman :o is ru%+ ! daught] ( a cl]gyman4 ,%e is almo/ spiritual 9 h] ideals & at home le>n$ to re/ra9 all manife/ations ( affection4 ,! "y man is h&some & da%+1 a fa/ talk] & a social butt]fly4 ,he likes to tell dirty /ories & to get drunk4 ,x is unlikely t _! romance w progress f> en\gh to contemplate m>riage1 b if !y %\ld get m>ri$1 ! radical diff]5ces 9 traits w produce a great unhapp9ess4 ,:at are ! o!r factors besides p]sonality traits t c produce mix$ m>riages8 ,"h are ! ma9 mixtures to wat* out =4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,are ,,!re ,,fundam5tal ,,diff]5ces ,,( ,,religion8 ,if ! c\ple are ( diff]5t religi\s beliefs _! philosophies ( life may be s deeply diff]5t t !y may be liable to con/ant friction4 ,"o ,g]man /udy %[$ t ! fewe/ divorces 7 9 m>riages betwe5 ,jews & t ! l>ge/ numb] ( divorces occurr$ :5 a ,ca?olic m>ri$ a non-,ca?olic4 ,9 ,m>yl&1 twelve ?\s& "y p 7 ask$ ! religi\s affiliations ( _! p>5ts & also ask$ if _! p>5ts 7 liv+ toge!r1 divorc$ or sep>at$4 ,"h 7 ! p]c5tage ( brok5 m>riages f\nd 9 diff]5t gr\p+s3 ,:5 bo? p>5ts ,jewi% #d4f ,:5 bo? p>5ts ,ca?olic #f4d ,:5 bo? p>5ts ,prote/ant #f4h ,:5 religions mix$ #ae4b ,9 o!r words1 a mix$ m>riage is two or ?ree times m likely to end 9 unhapp9ess ?an :5 ! m>riage is n mix$ religi\sly6 ,& 9 int]-m>ry+ "s comb9ations seem to be m explosive ?an o!rs4 ,bel[ are ?ree possible comb9ations 9 desc5d+ ord]1 ) ! bottom comb9ation lea/ likely ( all to produce a happy m>riage4 ,prote/ant to ,jew ,prote/ant to ,ca?olic ,jew to ,ca?olic ,ca?olics h ! greate/ difficulties 9 int]-m>riages presumably because _! *ur* takes a /]n] view ( int]-m>riage ?an d ! o!r *ur*es4 ,ano!r factor may be t !y are taught n to use bir? control devices 7?\gh family spac+ ?r\gh 8rhy?m0 is condon$74 ,suppose t a ,ca?olic & ,prote/ant d m>ry4 ,!re are ?\s&s ( c\ples :o h a*iev$ happ9ess 9 spite ( religi\s diff]5ces4 ,y c a*ieve x1 p]haps1 b bo? ( y %\ld face ! problems involv$ 9 su* an int]-m>riage be=e1 n aft]1 ! w$d+4 ,if possible "o %\ld agree to embrace ! religion ( ! o!r4 ,y %\ld also def9itely agree on ! *ur* 9 :i* ! *ildr5 are to be re>$4 ,y %\ld ev5 discuss ! size ( ! family desir$ because t may become a po9t ( diff]5ce4 ,if bo? refuse to budge f _! religion !y mu/ face ! likelihood ( di%>mony develop+ aft] m>riage1 p>ticul>ly z *ildr5 come along & decisions mu/ be made ab\t _! religi\s tra9+4 ,religi\s int]-m>riages are p>ticul>ly difficult :5 "o or bo? are deeply religi\s & feel v /rongly ab\t hold+ to _! p>ticul> fai?4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,are ,,!re ,,significant ,,diff]5ces ,,( ,,intellig5ce8 ,a wife c be some:at less intellig5t ?an h] husb& & !y c /ill be happy1 b almo/ any o!r v>iations 9 intellig5ce are apt to produce problems1 especially if ! diff]5ces are pron\nc$4 ,/udies h %[n t husb&s & wives usually are mu* m alike 9 intellig5ce ?an 9 physical *>act]i/ics4 ,p 9 g5]al t5d to select mates ^: m5tal ability is ab\t ! same z _! own4 ,:5 two p ( va/ly diff]5t m5tal equipm5t m>ry1 ! less-end[$ mate is apt to develop v /rong feel+s ( inf]iority1 & ! two may f9d x v h>d to select int]e/s & activities to %>e4 ,! m intellig5t "o unconsci\sly may develop a sup]ior attitude t may be patroniz+ or impati5t4 ,ano!r ?+ !y are b\nd to disagree on is h[ to sp5d _! leisure "t1 ! k9d ( fri5ds t !y w h1 ! social e?ics !y w h1 & 9 fact _! :ole philosophies ( life4 ,! bright] mate reads s]i\s magaz9es1 li/5s to symphonies & =ums1 reads little or no light fiction4 ,! less intellig5t mate is int]e/$ 9 ! spectacul> radio programs1 reads ! m fro?y magaz9es1 has few deep intellectual int]e/s4 ,x is ! glamor\s1 excit+ ?+s t appeal4 ,also !y d n %>e ambitions4 ,two su* p _c talk ov] ) ea* o!r _! hopes & ambitions1 _! fru/rations4 ,!re is no %>+4 ,"o feels alo( f ! o!r4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,are ,,!re ,,f\r ,,or ,,m ,,ye>s ,,diff]5ce ,,9 ,,=mal ,,education8 ,!re c be wide diff]5ces 9 s*ool+ b only z long z ! two p's int]e/s & attitudes are ab\t ! same4 ,& 9 ^! days ( wide read+1 radio in=mation1 night s*ools & correspond5ce c\rses1 two p may diff] greatly 9 =mal education b diff] little 9 _! in=mal education4 ,h[ev]1 x does appe> to be a fact t ! happie/ m>riages seem to be ^? 9 :i* ! two p met ea* o!r on a s*ool campus1 took simil> curricula1 liv$ 9 ! same academic backgr\nd4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,are ,,!re ,,wide ,,diff]5ces ,,9 ,,y\r ,,economic ,,backgr\nd8 ,?is is closely relat$ to ! social diff]5ces4 ,mo!rs h enc\rag$ wide diff]5ces 9 economic backgr\nd by tea*+ _! daught]s to m>ry 8up0 ! economic scale4 ,!y are urg$ to make 8good cat*es40 ,x is only human = a "m to wi% t h] daught] w n h to scrimp z %e has _h to 9 h] m>riage4 ,x also enhances a family's social pre/ige if a daught] c m>ry 8up40 ,h[ev] :5 !re are wide diff]5ces 9 ! incomes ( ! two sets ( p>5ts1 ^? diff]5ces are accompani$ by diff]5ces 9 social backgr\nd :i* are (t5 h>d to reconcile4 ,add$ to ?is is ! factor ( acceptance t inv>iably arises :5 ei!r a girl or man m>ries way above 8 own economic level4 ,! p>5ts & fri5ds ( ! weal?y mate (t5 assume t ! o!r m>ri$ = money4 ,t may produce s]i\s t5sion & create a la/+ 9-law problem4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,is ,,!re ,a ,,wide ,,diff]5ce ,,9 ,,age8 ,"o /udy has %[n t ! lea/ happy m>riages are ^? 9 :i* ! husb& is six to eight ye>s old] ?an ! wife4 ,p]haps x is n ! diff]5ce 9 age itself s mu* z ! fact t p t f> ap>t 9 age w be unlike 9 o!r respects :i* creates ! /ra9 on m>riage4 ,! happie/ m>riages = wives seem to range f "o extreme :]e ! wife is f\r ye>s old] ?an ! husb& to ! o!r extreme :]e ! wife is f\r ye>s y\ng] ?an ! husb&4 ,! happie/ m>riages = husb&s seem to be ^? 9 :i* ! husb& is f "o ye> old] ?an ! wife to :]e ! husb& is f\r ye>s old] ?an ! wife4 ,:5 all ! evid5ce is analyz$ x w\ld seem t ! happie/ m>riages = ev]ybody conc]n$ are ^? m>riages 9 :i* ! husb& & wife are )9 "o to two ye>s ( ea* o!r4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,are ,,!re ,,diff]5ces ,,9 ,,y\r ,,social ,,culture8 ,"h is a girl :o has be5 re>$ 9 ! ,s\?4 ,%e 0 taught to be a lady1 to be wait$ ^u1 n to "w because %e w\ld h s]vants4 ,"h is a man br\ght up 9 ,nebraska1 re>$ 9 a home :]e 8 own "m 0 h>dwork+1 n only did ! h\sework b occasionally help$ milk ! c[s & help$ d o!r *ores = h] f>m] husb&4 ,) ! ,s\!rn girl !re has be5 a trem5d\s emphasis ^u 8family10 on social pre/ige1 on do+ c]ta9 ?+s 9 c]ta9 precise ways4 ,9 ! case ( ! ,nebraska man1 little ( ?is =mality has be5 pres5t4 ,in/ead ! emphasis has be5 ^u h>d "w1 ^u ?rift9ess1 ^u a wife %>+ heavily ! responsibilities ( e>n+ a liv+4 ,two su* widely diff]+ philosophies are likely to produce grief 9 m>riage4 ,! w>1 ) its trem5d\s %ifts ( population1 produc$ a great _m ( ^! int]regional m>riages4 ,!y are c]ta9ly n doom$ b ! c\ples %\ld face frankly ! problems involv$ 9 a mix+ ( cultures4 99 99 99 99 99 ,^?1 briefly1 are ! ma9 types ( mix$ m>riages4 ,y %\ld ent] into !m c>efully1 if at all4 ,9 any case :]e !re are s]i\s diff]5ces ( backgr\nd1 ! c\ple %\ld comp>e !mselves c>efully1 see j :at ! diff]5ces are1 be reali/ic ab\t ^? diff]5ces1 f]ret out ! special problems t ^? diff]5ces w create 7z 9 ! re>+ ( *ildr571 agree on ways to attack ! problems & solve !m4 ,only !n is !re hope t ! m>riage c be a success4 ,! difficulty is t c\ples t5d to gloss ov] diff]5ces t exi/4 ,!y refuse to id5tify !m1 to admit _! exi/5ce4 ,!y put (f fac+ !m4 ,!n lat] 9 m>riage ! problems c no long] be avoid$ & by !n !y h become s acute t reconciliation becomes v difficult4 ,= example1 if a ,ca?olic wants to m>ry a ,prote/ant1 x is f> bett] = ! c\ple to see ! problems t w exi/ f su* a mix$ m>riage be=e !y are m>ri$ ?an aft] !y are m>ri$4 ,*apt] ,,xiv ,n9e ,dang]\s ,*>act]s ,!re are "s prospective mates :o w survive all ! te/s we h giv5 y ?us f> & 9 fact look l ideal p>tn]s1 & yet w br+ y grief e "t 9 m>riage4 ,9 /udy+ m>riage failures x has be5 f\nd t aga9 & aga9 c]ta9 types ( mates make a m>riage seem intol]able4 ,we'll introduce y to n9e ( ! wor/ tr\blemak]s4 ,!y are h>d to detect1 b usually y c spot !m if y h _h sev]al mon?s really to "k !m be=e y commit y\rself to m>riage4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,! ,,jeal\s ,,mate4 ,p]haps a man becomes excessively jeal\s because 8 "y wife is attractive to o!r m5 or because %e has be5 accu/om$ to travel+ ) a m sophi/icat$ cr[d ?an he has4 ,on ! o!r side p]haps ! wife--) little cause--becomes insanely jeal\s ( h] husb&'s secret>y4 ,we "k f inve/igation t jeal\sy causes at lea/ "o out ( e five qu>rels t occur betwe5 ,am]ican husb&s & wives4 ,& fur!rmore1 9 divorce cases jeal\sy turns up z a factor 9 almo/ half ( all divorces4 ,t is n h>d to und]/& because a jeal\s p]son inevitably becomes a difficult p]son to live )4 ,he or %e is usually suspici\s1 quick-temp]$ & disagreeable4 ,x is h>d to love a p]son :o is jeal\s ( y4 ,y lose y\r respect = him1 & y c't be natural ) him4 ,:5 y d try to be natural he w set y on y\r gu>d by "s snippi% & unprovok$ rem>k & w "q y awkw>dly at l5g? to *eck on y\r movem5ts4 ,frequ5tly he w fly into temp] outbur/s or s9k into black moods4 ,psy*ologically jeal\sy is a feel+ ( fru/ration1 :i* 9 turn produces ang] & dejection4 ,! p]son is fru/rat$ because he fe>s he is los+ ! love ( ! mate or fe>s t ! mate is be+ unfai?ful4 ,jeal\sy may be real or imag9>y4 ,evid5ce uncov]$ at ! ,p5n ,/ate cl9ic w\ld indicate t frequ5tly x is ! latt]4 ,9 real jeal\sy ! mate kn[s1 or suspects correctly1 t ! o!r p]son is flirt+ or act+ 9 a que/ionable mann]4 ,9 imag9>y jeal\sy ! jeal\s p]son is t way simply because he lacks confid5ce 9 himself4 ,he w\ld probably be jeal\s ( anyone he m>ri$1 because he has /rong feel+s ( inf]iority & is usually un/able emotionally4 ,any prospective mate :o is habitually 9 su* a m5tal /ew )\t real cause w\ld make an extremely poor husb& or wife4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,! ,,mate ,,:o ,,wants ,,to ,,improve ,,y4 ,!re is s\nd psy*ology beh9d ! ?\ght 9 ! m>riage c]emony t y take y\r sp\se 8= bett] or = worse40 ,at ! w$d+ ea* mate %\ld be accept$ = :at he is ) no res]vations = ! future4 ,m>riage is a p>tn]%ip 9 ! true s5se & if "o p>tn] takes x ^u himself to tea* or improve ! o!r1 t relation%ip is sorely di/urb$4 ,"o />ts feel+ sup]ior & ! o!r ei!r inf]ior or indignant or bo?4 ,x is t]ribly easy = "s new husb&s & wives--aft] ! glam\r has worn (f--to see flaws 9 _! mates t %\ld be correct$ imm$iately4 ,_! int5tions may be k9dly b soon !y are cont9ually criticiz+ & implor+ ! mate to *ange 8 or h] ways4 ,a con/ant urge to improve a mate is closely ak9 to nagg+4 ,9 fact nagg+ means oral pressure1 & :5 appli$ to a sp\se x inv>iably produces discord4 ,! nagg] 9 m>riage is "o ( ! major tr\blemak]s4 ,if ! attempts to improve a mate are made 9 public--z !y frequ5tly are--! affronts !n cle>ly become intol]able4 ,no?+ produces great] res5tm5t4 ,ev5 if ! aggriev$ p>tn] c absorb su* criticism )\t sla%+ back he w see! inw>dly & seek rev5ge = su* an assault on 8 dignity4 ,let's look at ! 8improv]40 ,x has be5 f\nd t su* a p]son is r>ely ! happily adju/$1 emotionally mature p]son4 ,r he c\ld /& "s self-improvem5t himself4 ,usually he is try+ to improve ! o!r ei!r because ( 8 own und]ly+ feel+ ( inf]iority1 or because x gives him a mean1 petty advantage ov] ! o!r4 ,if aft] read+ ! above y /ill feel t y\r own mate or prospective mate has faults t c\ld well be improv$1 :y don't y try "o ( ^! tacks8 ,fir/1 rememb] t if y ma9ta9 high /&>ds y\rself y\r mate w gradually rise to !m4 ,set a good example4 ,c\ples gr[ m alike e day !y are m>ri$4 ,if y are anxi\s to h imm$iate results1 use indirect r ?an direct sugge/ions4 ,a wife1 = example1 might say to h] husb& t %e appreciates ! fact t he has be5 m consid]ate ( h] dur+ ! pa/ few days4 ,?is may be hokum4 ,b ev5 ?\gh he has n be5 any m consid]ate1 ! complim5t w enc\rage him to be m consid]ate 9 ! future4 ,or suppose t a man ?9ks 8 fiance %[s appall+ ta/e 9 h] clo!s4 ,a frontal criticism w\ld w\nd & probably infuriate h]4 ,b if he />ts out by complim5t+ h] on ! few pres5table ?+s %e we>s1 he c use !m z spr+bo>ds = gett+ across to h] ! k9d ( clo!s %e %\ld we> to make h]self mo/ appeal+ to him4 ,few wom5 c resi/ su* sugge/ions4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,! 8,,n]v\s0 ,,mate4 ,_m wives neglect _! husb&s1 & _m husb&s qu>rel ) _! wives1 because !y are emotionally insecure4 ,!y are at loose ends ) !mselves4 ,9 sci5tific language1 !y are maladju/$ or neurotic4 ,m>riage 9 itself r>ely cures an emotionally un/able p]son4 ,9 fact x may aggravate 8 tr\ble by add+ new fru/rations4 ,a p]son :o is un/able be=e m>riage is apt to f9d t ! increas$ responsibilities & decreas$ lib]ty "u m>riage impose new burd5s4 ,8 fru/rations become aggravat$4 ,e m>riage c\nselor kn[s f exp]i5ce t unhappily m>ri$ c\ples usually pres5t difficulties t c be trac$ to ! emotional maladju/m5t ( "o or bo? ( ! mates4 ,p]haps ! husb& flies into a rage if supp] is late or if 8 pipe rack has be5 mov$4 ,b any psy*ologi/ kn[s su* tantrums are m]ely symptoms1 symptoms ( ! man's basic maladju/m5t to life4 ,!y w appe> :5 he meets any sort ( fru/ration4 ,if ! wife is c>eful to h supp] on "t & keep ! pipe rack 9 ! same place ! eruptions w appe> some:]e else4 ,!y w appe>1 t is1 unless ! husb& c get hold ( himself & gr[ up emotionally4 ,?is may require help f an exp]i5c$ psy*ologi/ :o c get at ! roots ( ! man's difficulties4 ,"h are "s o!r ?\ghts = eas+ a situation :]e "o or bo? ( ! c\ple are high-/rung4 ,:5 ei!r mate is upset ! o!r %\ld make x easy = him to talk 8 tr\bles out4 ,talk+ ?+s ov] dispassionately is a wond]ful way to ease t5sions4 ,psy*ologi/s n[ realize its importance & ref] to x z mutual psy*o!rapy4 ,sometimes ! t5sions are produc$ by physical & m5tal fatigue4 ,p]haps "o or bo? mates are work+ too h>d & relax+ too little4 ,if s !y %\ld try to modify _! r\t9es to get 9 m re/1 sleep & relaxation4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,! ,,f9ancial ,,critic4 ,money is n ! root ( all evil1 b x c]ta9ly is at ! root ( a lot ( m>riage unhapp9ess4 ,all /udies t h be5 made conc]n+ ! reasons :y m>ri$ c\ples qu>rel agree t f9ancial arrangem5ts cause m friction ?an any o!r "o phase ( m>riage4 ,= example1 c\ples qu>rel five times z mu* ov] money z !y d ov] ! re>+ ( *ildr51 :i* is a well-kn[n tr\blemak]4 ,"o half ( all divorc$ c\ples say t f9ancial problems 7 a "p ( _! difficulties4 ,unless ! c\ple is really poor1 ! lack ( money doesn't cause ! tr\bles z mu* z bad managem5t ( x4 ,! av]age c\ple %\ld be com=t$ to "k t too mu* money causes tr\ble almo/ z mu* z too little money4 ,a girl consid]+ m>riage ) a man :o has an irregul> or unc]ta9 income %\ld face frankly ! fact t ! situation may become ! s\rce ( bitt] qu>rel+ if ! two ar5't c>eful4 ,regul>ity ( income & job security seem to be m important ?an ! size ( ! income4 ,c\ples :o save money are happi] ?an ^? :o don't1 o!r ?+s be+ equal4 ,bo? girls & m5 select+ a future mate %\ld be w>y ( p :o are disorganiz$ 9 _! p]sonal lives or are prone to c>p+4 ,^? two types ( p are mo/ apt to inspire or provoke qu>rels ov] money4 ,! ma9 grievance ( wives f9ancially is t _! husb&s are too tight & ! ma9 compla9ts ( husb&s are t _! wives are too extravagant or too *aotic 9 _! budget-keep+4 ,husb&s1 int]e/+ly1 compla9 mu* m ab\t ! extravagance ( _! wives ?an wives compla9 ab\t extravagance ( husb&s4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,! ,,alibi ,,arti/4 ,bew>e ( ! excuse-mak]4 ,alibi-mak+ is n m5tally heal?y4 ,9 fact x is "o ( ! e>ly signs ( emotional confusion & m5tal det]ioration4 ,if a man or girl sees 9 ! o!r dur+ c\rt%ip indications t excuse-mak+ is an +ra9$ habit1 he w\ld d well to break (f ! c\rt%ip & seek a mate else:]e4 ,t may s\nd l a h>% way to deal ) ! purveyor ( 8little :ite lies0 & excuses b x has be5 cle>ly e/abli%$ t su* a p]son is a v bad m>riage risk4 ,! individual usually excuses 8 own lack ( accompli%m5t or ability by project+ ! blame = 8 failures on o!r p4 ,bit by bit ?is projection becomes deva/at+4 ,cont9u$ excuse-mak+ gradually br+s ! individual clos] & clos] to ! gulf t divides ! real f ! imag9>y1 ! sane f ! insane4 ,9 its mo/ pron\nc$ =m x is p>anoia1 a type ( insanity4 ,! alibi arti/ has little respect = ! tru?1 _c be pr$ict$1 evades 8 obligations & is g5]ally n dep5dable4 ,! te/ design$ to measure ?is t5d5cy to alibi1 :i* psy*ologi/s call 8t5d5cy to rationalize10 has already be5 discuss$4 ,! victim rationalizes or excuses 8 own conduct4 ,! amaz+ ?+ is t ?is "o te/ is an extremely accurate device to pr$ict1 by itself1 m>riage happ9ess or failure4 ,inve/igations h e/abli%$ t p]sons obta9+ l[ scores 9 t "o te/ h consi/5tly prov$ to be unsatisfactory mates 9 m>riage4 ,no husb& ev] gets condition$ to excuses = ! lat5ess ( meals1 ! unmade b$s1 ! buttons t h n be5 sewn on4 ,he doesn't res5t ! inconv5i5ces z mu* z he res5ts ! wife's con/ant excuses = failure to %[ "s improvem5t4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,! ,,escapi/4 ,! escapi/ is a close relative ( ! alibi]1 b some:at m hone/4 ,he f9ds himself unable to cope ) 8 ev]yday problem ( liv+ 9 a mod]n _w s he turns & flees f !m4 ,?is flight may be physical4 ,t is1 he may become a h]mit or may g into ! arm$ =ces :]e he c %$ all responsibilities = direct+ 8 own life4 ,b m (t5 n[adays ! flight is into a dream _w1 via n>cotics or alcohol4 ,heavy dr9k+ is /eadily becom+ m s]i\s4 ,_m di/ill]s are ev5 urg+ mod]ation 9 _! adv]tisem5ts4 ,x is n m]ely on a moral basis t m>riage c\nselors w w>n y to %un ! heavy dr9k]4 ,z a husb& or wife he's a h>d p]son to live )4 ,& m>riage r>ely cures dipsomania or any o!r mania4 ,s don't ?9k y c cure a fianc or fiance :o habitually tipples4 ,! causes ( drunk5ness are n too well kn[n b "o ?+ is sure3 ! habitual use ( alcohol is j a symptom ( ! p]son's basic maladju/m5t to life1 & n ! cause ( ! maladju/m5t4 ,9 alcohol he =gets 8 problems1 or imag9es t he has f\nd brilliant solutions = !m4 ,! p]son :o dr9ks excessively is always a psy*ological problem & an amateur _c hope to be too successful 9 tackl+ x4 ,ev5 a sanatorium cure br+s only tempor>y relief unless ! basic conflicts t impell$ him to dr9k are resolv$4 ,usually v c>eful c\nsel+ ( ! alcoholic is necess>y to uncov] 8 tr\bles & help him "w out a solution = !m4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,! ,,disord]ly ,,mate4 ,to be successful 9 m>riage or almo/ any?+ else 9 life1 a p]son mu/ keep 8 affairs 9 a fair degree ( ord]4 ,y %\ld be w>y if y f9d t a p]son y are consid]+ = m>riage is sloppy 9 8 or h] appe>ance or affairs4 ,if a girl's ap>tm5t looks l an unmade b$1 y c consid] t a fairly accurate =eca/ ( h[ %e w\ld manage y\r home4 ,or if a man is habitually late = dates or %[s up )\t a tie or ) un%9$ %oes1 y c be sure he w\ld be ev5 m sloppy & inconsid]ate z a husb&4 ,neatness1 ( c\rse1 c be ov]done4 ,"o wife we "k objects to h] husb& sitt+ 9 c]ta9 *airs until he has *ang$ 8 clo!s4 ,ano!r w n p]mit h] husb& to ent] ! liv+ room--:i* %e prizes--until he takes (f 8 %oes1 unless !re are gue/s4 ,"s p are fa/idi\s ab\t ! way !y dress & yet are disord]ly 9 organiz+ _! lives4 ,o!rs are ! o!r way ar\nd4 ,b :5 disord]l9ess becomes g5]al an intol]able /ra9 is impos$ on a m>riage4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,! ,,mate ,,) ,,cl++ ,,relatives4 ,/ati/ically1 9-laws cause ab\t z mu* m>riage woe z dr9k+4 ,_m a promis+ m>riage has be5 m>r$ by !m4 ,9 ! pa/ six mon?s1 m ?an t5 p] c5t ( ! tr\bl$ m>ri$ c\ples consult+ ! ,p5n ,/ate ,m>riage ,c\nsel+ ,s]vice _h problems aggravat$ or initiat$ by _! 9-laws4 ,we read rec5tly a lett] f a "y wife :o bewail$ ! fact t h] husb&'s "m insi/$ on go+ along ) !m on _! honeymoon4 ,%e _h told h] son %e ne$$ a vacation & w\ld l to g ) !m4 ,)\t consult+ ! bride he agre$4 ,! bride lam5t$3 8,i sp5t f> m "t alone ) my "m-9-law ?an ,i did ) my bridegroom60 ,liv+ ) 9-laws at any "t creates a haz>d = mo/ c\ples & %\ld be avoid$ if possible1 b x is p>ticul>ly irritat+ dur+ ! fir/ few mon?s ( m>riage4 ,^? mon?s are crucial because ( ! adju/m5ts ! two p are mak+4 ,x is !n t !y get fully acqua9t$1 adapt _! habits1 "w out compromises4 ,any p]son contemplat+ m>riage %[s lack ( =esight if he fails to consid] ! atta*m5ts 8 prospective mate may h to close relatives1 or if he fails to weigh ! *ances t ^! relatives w ev] live ) ! c\ple1 & ! outcome if !y d4 ,"o little-kn[n aspect ( ?is is t "s 9-laws 9 a c\ple's home cause m tr\ble ?an o!rs4 ,! husb&'s "m1 = example1 is apt to produce m difficulties ?an ! wife's "m because x is ! wife :o mu/ sp5d ! mo/ "t ) ! woman4 ,! husb&'s "m (t5 becomes a rival ( ! wife = ! husb&'s att5tions &--z ! husb&'s own "m--may become head ( ! h\sehold4 ,likewise a wife's fa!r 9 ! h\sehold pres5ts m difficulties ?an ! husb&'s fa!r4 ,x is n necess>ily fatal to live ) 9-laws4 ,9 fact ! haz>ds are relatively small if ! man & wife are bo? gr[n up emotionally & v happily m>ri$4 ,if y d f9d y\rself ev5tually liv+ ) an 9-law 9 ! home1 rememb] mo/ ( all to keep all f9ancial arrangem5ts cle>-cut1 & abide by !m ev5 m scrupul\sly ?an y w\ld if !y involv$ total /rang]s4 ,fur!r1 don't borr[ money f !m4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,! ,,flirt4 ,:e!r male or female1 ! p]son ) ! rov+1 aggressive eye is a poor prospect = m>riage4 ,! flirt is a poor prospect because he is basically a %all[1 conceit$1 inconsid]ate p]son1 incapable ( g5u9e love4 ,he w prove a difficult1 unsatisfy+ p]son to live ) z a m>riage p>tn]1 because ! w$d+ c]emony w n *ange 8 fundam5tal *>act]i/ics4 ,y w h tr\ble e/abli%+ a give-&-take relation%ip ) him4 ,!n1 :5 ! glam\r ( ! w$d+ we>s (f & ! normal difficulties ( m>riage adju/m5t confront him1 he w f9d ?is humdrum & />t recall+ 8 prem>ital conque/s4 ,soon he may be flirt+ aga9 & y may f9d y\rself ) a triangle on y\r h&s4 ,triangles are responsible directly or indirectly = at lea/ a f\r? ( all divorces4 ,,are ,,y ,,too ,,jeal\s8 ,e p]son is a little jeal\s ( 8 or h] mate4 ,b !re is a po9t :]e ! jeal\sy becomes excessive--& dang]\s4 ,:e!r real or imag9>y1 ! jeal\sy puts y 9 su* a d>k mood t any?+ y d may h>m r ?an improve ! relation%ip4 #a4 ,d y feel ?is pot5tial mate ( y\rs neglects y8 ,yes ,no #b4 ,d y want & ne$ consid]able att5tion & praise8 ,yes ,no #c4 ,does he turn & look at o!r girls 7or does %e seem to reli% ! att5tion ( o!r m578 ,yes ,no #d4 ,d y ev] try to 8get ev580 ,yes ,no #e4 ,is y\r temp] easily ar\s$8 ,yes ,no #f4 ,does x upset y to h somebody disagree ) y 9 public8 ,yes ,no #g4 ,d y keep close tabs on him 7or h]7 :5 bo? ( y are at a p>ty8 ,yes ,no #h4 ,d y feel envi\s ( c]ta9 o!r p]sons ( y\r own sex t y "k8 ,yes ,no #i4 ,d y ev] qu>rel ) ?is p]son aft] return+ f a p>ty8 ,yes ,no #aj4 ,has he1 or %e1 le>n$ n to praise o!r p ( y\r own sex 9 front ( y8 ,yes ,no #aa4 ,d y l to li/5 to gossip8 ,yes ,no #ab4 ,d y sometime feel alone :5 9 a cr[d8 ,yes ,no #ac4 ,d y want ?is p]son to wait on y a good deal8 ,yes ,no #ad4 ,d y ?9k mo/ p ( ! opposite sex w be> wat*+8 ,yes ,no #ae4 ,:5 ?is mate is late d y want an explanation8 ,yes ,no #af4 ,d y ev] h x out ) a p]son :o says untrue ?+s ab\t y8 ,yes ,no #ag4 ,w\ld y be consid]$ a 8possessive0 p]son8 ,yes ,no #ah4 ,h y ev] suspect$ t "s fri5d's mate 0 misbehav+ & h contriv$ to let ! fri5d "k ab\t x8 ,yes ,no ,if y answ]$ f\rte5 or m ( ^! ) yes y are a victim ( extreme & unheal?y jeal\sy4 ,if h[ev] y answ]$ less ?an f\r ) yes y app>5tly don't ev5 love ! p]son4 ,*apt] ,,xv ,p ,:o ,%\ld ,n ,m>ry at ,all ,e "t ! ,m>riage ,c\nsel+ ,s]vice at ,p5n ,/ate has (f]$ its c\rse on ! prep>ation = m>riage1 ! class has be5 ask$ to li/ ! qualifications !y ?9k a p]son has to h be=e he %\ld und]take m>riage4 ,x 0 int]e/+ to note t ! girls 9 ! class consi/5tly vot$ = high] qualifications ?an ! m54 ,we h av]ag$ ! responses ( ! _m hundr$s ( /ud5ts & pres5t bel[ ^? qualifications m5tion$ by at lea/ fifty p] c5t ( ! /ud5ts3 ,,p]c5tage ,,qualifications ,,= ,,m>riage ,,vot+ ,,= ,,!m ,fre$om f v5]eal disease #ajj ,fre$om f feeble-m9d$ness #ii 7,if /]iliz$1 #bd w\ld p]mit m>riage7 ,fre$om f insanity #ig ,fre$om f crim9ality #id ,fre$om f dipsomania #ia ,fre$om f drug addiction #he ,fre$om f neuroticism #gf ,pro( by groom t he c support bride #fi 7,?is includes evid5ce ( occupational pr(ici5cy & at lea/ #aej 9 sav+s7 ,record ( no m ?an "o divorce1 if any #ej ,o!r qualifications sugge/$ b receiv+ less ?an =ty-five p] c5t ( ! votes 7 fre$om f tub]culosis1 canc]1 epilepsy & fatal he>t disease1 fre$om f /]ility & f inh]it$ physical defects4 ,ab\t n9ety-sev5 p] c5t ( ! /ud5ts ?\ght t bo? m5 & wom5 %\ld h prem>ital physical exams t w\ld det]m9e fre$om f v5]eal disease4 ,we feel t !re is a great deal ( m]it to ! qualifications rais$ by ! /ud5ts4 ,) ^? z a />t+ po9t we h prep>$ n9e que/ions :i* y %\ld ask y\rself--& be able to answ] yes4 ,!y are m9imum qualifications = m>riage4 ,we feel y %\ld h s]i\s d\bts ab\t ! advisability ( m>ry+ ano!r p]son if y answ] no to ev5 "o ( ! que/ions4 ,"h !y are3 99 99 99 99 99 ,,is ,,y\r ,,mate ,,sane ,,& ,,f ,a ,,family ,,9 ,,:i* ,,no ,,insanity ,,is ,,pres5t8 ,except 9 pron\nc$ =ms1 psy*oses are n easily diagnos$4 ,! bord]l9e betwe5 sanity & insanity is no m di/9ct ?an is ! l9e betwe5 black & :ite4 ,all %ades ( gray exi/4 ,_m p>anoidal p]sons roam ! /reets ( our c\ntry & 9 _m cases are able to c>ry ! responsibilities ( normal life1 at lea/ until !y enc\nt] cont9u$ fru/ration :i* w br+ ! insanity into an easily recognizable =m4 ,insanity is n easily detect$ unless !re is uncontroll$ behavior or pron\nc$ incompet5ce 9 obey+ normal /&>ds ( behavior4 ,9 a rec5t book issu$ ?r\gh ! ,national ,committee = ,m5tal ,hygi5e !re is a /atem5t t "o out ( tw5ty-five p]sons rea*+ adul?ood %\ld be conf9$4 ,ano!r f\r out ( tw5ty-five are sev]ely neurotic & ano!r eight are h&icapp$ by mild] neurotic di/urbances4 ,on ! basis ( ^! f9d+s at lea/ "o p]son 9 f\r is sev]ely maladju/$ & at lea/ "o 9 two is maladju/$ to "s ext5t4 ,if y are conc]n$ ab\t ! m5tal balance ( any possible mate1 y might ask y\rself ^! que/ions3 ,has he be5 conf9$ at "s "t 9 a m5tal in/itution8 ,has he be5 reject$ or releas$ f milit>y s]vice because ( outright m5tal di/urbances8 ,does 8 family h a hi/ory ( insanity8 ,is he free f syphilis8 ,has he ev] suff]$ f sev]e injury damag+ ! bra98 ,d y "k if he has %[n extreme ab]rations on any psy*ological te/s to measure abnormalities ( m5tal function8 ,has he fail$ to dis*>ge ! responsibilities ( life 9 a legal1 compet5t1 conv5tional mann]8 ,has he any record ( uncontrollable rages result+ 9 injuries to o!rs8 ,does 8 family physician "q 8 sanity8 ,:ile x is possible t he might be sane ?\gh y answ]$ yes to "s ( ^! que/ions1 ! odds are aga9/ x4 ,y %\ld keep 9 m9d h[ev] t _m boys dis*>g$ f ?is pa/ w> z neuropsy*iatric cases are n insane & mo/ ( !m w be able to settle d[n )9 a few mon?s aft] _! dis*>ge & e>n a livelihood & live a normal life4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,is ,,y\r ,,mate ,,law-,,abid+1 ,,does ,,he ,,h ,a ,,record ,,free ,,( ,,crim9al ,,(f5ses ,,& ,,are ,,8 ,,p>5ts ,,likewise ,,law-,,abid+8 ,_m employ]s1 includ+ ! f$]al & /ate gov]nm5ts1 hesitate to employ a p]son ) a crim9al record4 ,! habitual crim9al is n easily cur$4 ,c]ta9ly ?ree or m convictions = crim9al (f5ses %\ld indicate a p]sonality patt]n adv]se to m>riage happ9ess4 ,9 ,new ,york ,/ate1 f\r convictions = crim9al (f5ses automatically result 9 life imprisonm5t4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,is ,,y\r ,,mate ,,9 ,,fairly ,,good ,,physical ,,heal? ,,g5]ally ,,& ,,free ,,f ,,v5]eal ,,disease8 ,mo/ ( ! /ates h pass$ laws provid+ /atutory protection aga9/ syphilis4 ,^! /ates conta9 ab\t ?ree-f\r?s ( ! total population ( ! c\ntry4 ,x is int]e/+ t ab\t "o p]son 9 a hundr$ tak+ prem>riage blood te/s is f\nd infect$ ) syphilis4 ,9 ^! days ( ! miracle sulfa drugs & p5icill91 cures ( v5]eal disease c be effect$ 9 a matt] ( weeks4 ,syphilis is a blight+ disease :i*1 if uncur$1 w wreck any m>riage soon] or lat]4 ,anyone :o is 9 *ronic bad heal? due to o!r ailm5ts adds a sev]e burd5 to any m>riage4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,is ,,y\r ,,mate ,,free ,,f ,,us+ ,,drugs ,,su* ,,z ,,morph9e ,,or ,,h]o9 ,,or ,,m>ijuana8 ,addiction to ! traditional drugs is n a s]i\s problem 9 ?is c\ntry b a great _m "y p h be5 tak+ to m>ijuana = quick 8jags0 "u ! impression t su* jags are n dang]\s4 ,musicians p>ticul>ly (t5 use ?is drug4 ,b x is a dope j z surely z opium is1 its effect c be j z vici\s1 & x is us$ only by p]sons :o are un/able emotionally & ?us poor m>riage risks to />t )4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,if ,,y\r ,,mate ,,dr9ks1 ,,is ,,he ,,temp]ate ,,9 ,,! ,,use ,,( ,,alcoholic ,,bev]ages8 ,! dipsomaniac is an alcohol addict j z ! opium smok] is a dope addict4 ,he is *>act]iz$ by an uncontrollable crav+ = alcohol4 ,9 "s p alcohol produces a tempor>y feel+ ( well-be+ & elation1 sometimes call$ euphoria4 ,because x does1 p sometimes turn to dr9k+ z an escape f _! unsolv$ problems4 ,bit by bit ! habit ( dr9k+ is built up4 ,! p]son :o m>ries a mate :o is an excessive or habitual dr9k] 9 ! expectation ( re=m+ him is due = a bitt] awak5+4 ,m>riage r>ely cures dr9k+ or any o!r abnormal condition4 ,exp]t treatm5t is ne$$4 ,9 skill$ h&s ! drunk>d is sometimes cur$--if he really conv9ces himself t he wants to be cur$4 ,b ! cure is long & ardu\s & ! proportion ( relapses is /ill great4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,is ,,y\r ,,mate ,,intellig5t ,,en\gh ,,to ,,e>n ,a ,,liv+ ,,& ,,dis*>ge ,,! ,,responsibilities ,,( ,,life ,,compet5tly8 ,!re is no d\bt t feeble-m9d$ness is inh]it$4 ,individual intellig5ce te/s usually indicate t any p]son is feeble-m9d$ :o scores an ,,iq ( sev5ty or less4 7,"o hundr$ is av]age47 ,ev5 :5 /]ilization ( a feeble-m9d$ p]son is p]=m$ x /ill does n seem reasonable to p]mit t p]son to m>ry s9ce he c r>ely contribute to ! success ( a m>riage & (t5 _c e>n a liv+4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,is ,,y\r ,,mate ,,fairly ,,/able1 ,,well-,,adju/$ ,,& ,,able ,,to ,,get ,,along ,,) ,,p8 ,!re are _m %ades ( n]v\s disord]s rang+ f neurosis ?r\gh psy*oneurosis4 ,! neurotic has a m9or n]v\s disord]4 ,! psy*oneurotic has "s ailm5t--)\t organic basis--:i* may involve hy/]ia1 a p>alysis or cramps4 ,_m s-call$ miracle cures take place ) p]sons :o actually h no physical disabilities b h ! disability 9 _! m9d4 ,9 ,july #aide su* a 8miracle0 cure occurr$ at a milit>y cante54 ,a #bj-ye>-old soldi] 0 walk+ pa9fully ar\nd on crut*es4 ,"o ( ! junior ho/esses ask$ him half-s]i\sly if he w\ld l to dance4 ,he /at$ t he w\ld b t he c\ldn't ev5 walk4 ,%e repli$ t %e 0 a big /rong girl :o c\ld hold him up4 ,! soldi] laugh$1 pu%$ 8 crut*es "u ! table1 /ood up %akily1 clung to a *air1 !n to ! ho/ess4 ,gett+ />t$ 0 difficult & he /umbl$ a "t or two4 ,sl[ly !y began to dance4 ,amaz+ly ! soldi] began hav+ less & less tr\ble ) 8 legs4 ,!y danc$ all ?r\gh ! ev5+ & :5 ! soldi] left to take h] home he 0 walk+ p]fectly & left 8 crut*es z a mem5to ( 8 cure4 ,z a result ( a %rapnel w\nd he _h become conv9c$ he w\ld nev] walk aga94 ,"u ! /imulation ( music1 & ! eag]ness ( a "y girl to dance1 ! soldi] =got 8 crut*es4 ,s x goes ) psy*oneurotics4 ,!y are conv9c$ t _! neck is p>alyz$1 t !y _c he> or _c see4 ,_m su* cases %[ imm$iate improvem5t once ! w> is ov] & ! fru/rations & fe>s ( w> lift f !m4 ,b o!rs reta9 _! bodily symptoms ( psy*ological di/urbance ?r\gh\t _! lives4 ,9 ?is po/w> _w1 m>riageable girls w h to be conc]n$ ab\t ! m5tal di/urbances ( "s ex-s]vice males4 ,!y %\ld be s5sible ab\t ^! defects & realize !y are m]ely a product ( w>-impos$ fru/rations4 ,b !y %\ld be sure t !y recognize ! defects & are prep>$ to live ) !m4 ,ab\t tw5ty p] c5t ( all w> casualties return$ to ?is c\ntry h be5 m5tal cases1 & ! fight+ 0 s gruel+ 9 "s !at]s ( w>1 su* z ! ,solomons1 t ! p]c5tages ( psy*ological casualties h be5 kn[n to rise at times to z high z =ty p] c5t ( all casualties4 ,a neurotic or psy*oneurotic ne$s skillful treatm5t f a psy*iatri/ or cl9ical psy*ologi/4 ,a girl %\ld hesitate to m>ry su* a p]son at lea/ until a m$ical au?ority has pron\nc$ t he is compet5t to make ! adju/m5ts t a m>riage entails & to fill ! role ( a mate successfully4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,is ,,y\r ,,mate ,a ,,p]son ,,:o ,,has ,,n ,,be5 ,,divorc$ ,,f ,,two ,,previ\s ,,m>riages8 ,ev5 a p]son ) "o divorce to 8 cr$it is a haz>d :5 he rem>ries4 ,a p]son ) two divorces %\ld def9itely be %unn$1 if y hope to a*ieve a la/+ & happy m>riage4 ,divorce is n inh]it$1 b x does run 9 families4 ,x is kn[n t p]sons ^: own p>5ts are divorc$ are mu* m likely to seek divorce ?an ^? ^: p>5ts 7 n divorc$4 ,divorce is m>riage bankruptcy1 & any p]son :o has fail$ twice 9 m>riage is unlikely to succe$ 9 a ?ird4 ,a p]son ) a record ( two divorces %\ld h 8 "r to m>ry anyone s]i\sly que/ion$4 ,a bank w\ld c]ta9ly hesitate to l5d a man money :o _h fail$ to pay a previ\s loan1 & c]ta9ly w\ld refuse a loan to a p]son :o _h gone bankrupt twice be=e4 ,! c\ple t m>ries 9 ha/e frequ5tly divorces 9 ha/e4 ,?us "o reason = _m ( our w>time divorces4 ,likewise ! c\ple t takes pl5ty ( "t be=e m>riage r>ely has to seek a divorce1 especially if t m>riage results 9 *ildr54 99 99 99 99 99 ,,w ,,y ,,& ,,y\r ,,mate ,,be ,,able ,,to ,,support ,,y\rselves8 ,?is presumably w mean t be=e und]tak+ m>riage "o ( ! mates--pref]ably ! man--%\ld demon/rate ?r\gh a "w record t he is capable ( e>n+ a liv+4 ,"u normal circum/ances1 ab\t "o wife 9 six or sev5 works to supplem5t ! e>n+s ( h] husb&4 ,x is probable t n less ?an "o wife 9 fifty is ! sole support ( ! family4 ,! be/ way to demon/rate ability to e>n a liv+ is = "o ( ! mates 7aga9 pref]ably ! man7 to demon/rate occupational pr(ici5cy by at lea/ "o ye> ( ga9ful employm5t4 ,x is also important t no c\ple %\ld m>ry )\t a ca% res]ve aft] ! co/s ( ! w$d+4 ,sickness1 possible pregnancy1 ! furni%+ ( an ap>tm5t & o!r factors make "s em]g5cy fund advisable4 ,! ,p5n ,/ate /ud5ts ?\ght ?is sav+ %\ld am\nt at lea/ to t5 p] c5t ( ! e/imat$ exp5ses = ! fir/ ye>4 ,9 mak+ sure y are bo? physically fit = a happy m>riage we recomm5d t y submit to a prem>ital physical exam9ation4 ,9 fact "s c\ples l to h two prem>ital exams1 "o j be=e !y become =mally engag$1 & ! second j be=e !y m>ry4 ,x seems to u t if physical factors are f\nd :i* might seem undesirable to ei!r memb] ( ! c\ple1 or to _! families1 x w\ld be be/ t su* conditions be discov]$ be=e ! =mal engagem5t1 to avoid emb>rassm5t4 ,! second exam w\ld be tok5 j be=e ! m>riage because ! laws ( _m /ates require t ! physical exam be tak5 )9 ?irty days ( ! m>riage date4 ,:e!r y plan "o or two exams1 !re %\ld be "o ?or\gh "o1 f> m compreh5sive ?an t requir$ by law4 ,! typical physician1 9 ord] to keep ! exam reasonable 9 price1 usually exam9es only f> en\gh to f9d if ! c\ple meet ! legal requirem5ts1 :i* are prim>ily conc]n$ ) fre$om f v5]eal disease4 ,"h are "s ?+s t a compreh5sive exam %\ld cov]3 #a4 ,physical defects t may be crippl+ or lat] impair ! ability ( ! individual to e>n a liv+ or make a home4 #b4 ,! h]$it>y hi/ory ( ea* family %\ld be *eck$ = ! possibility ( insanity or feeble-m9d$ness or o!r inh]it$ defects t might be transmitt$ to (fspr+ ev5 ?\gh n too app>5t 9 ! p]son be+ exam9$4 #c4 ,because mo/ c\ples w want *ildr51 ! reproductive app>atus %\ld be exam9$ to see if reproduction is possible & t ! individual is free f defects t w\ld make conception impossible or *ildbir? haz>d\s4 7,?is w\ld mean pelvic measurem5ts = ! female47 ,! possibility ( /]ility or impot5ce %\ld be *eck$ & any physical factor t might impair or prev5t normal sexual relations %\ld be treat$4 #d4 ,!re %\ld be an inve/igation ( ! integrity & normal function+ ( ! he>t1 respiratory app>atus & ! c5tral n]v\s sy/em4 #e4 ,fre$om f v5]eal disease1 bo? gonorrhea & syphilis1 %\ld be asc]ta9$4 ,! physical exam gives ! physician an unusually good opportunity to allay any fe>s reg>d+ sexual adju/m5t t ei!r p]son may h4 ,at ! exam9ation j prior to ! w$d+1 ! physician c give ! girl in/ructions 9 ! role ( ! female 9 physical intimacy4 ,!re %\ld be an explanation ( orgasm1 & if desir$1 !re c be in/ructions ab\t bir? spac+4 ,ev5 ?\gh "s factors may be adv]se t does n mean y %\ld refra9 f m>ry+4 ,x simply means t bo? ( y g into m>riage ) y\r eyes op54 ,fur!rmore1 mo/ physical defects c be correct$1 (t5 ev5 /]ility4 ,mu* ( ! impot5ce among "y m5 is caus$ by psy*ological r ?an physical factors4 ,,is ,,! ,,mate ,a ,,neurotic8 ,& :ile y are at x y might ask y\rself :e!r y are too4 ,answ] yes or no4 #a4 ,is he or %e easily fatigu$8 #b4 ,does he or %e h _m heada*es8 #c4 ,does ! mate (t5 feel blue8 #d4 ,does he feel unhappy mu* ( ! "t8 #e4 ,does he frequ5tly seem to feel lonely8 #f4 ,does he (t5 compla9 t he feels n]v\s & %aky inside8 #g4 ,does he (t5 seem to feel mis]able8 #h4 ,does he seem to f9d x h>d to tru/ p8 #i4 ,does x bo!r him to talk to /rang]s8 #aj4 ,are 8 feel+s easily hurt8 #aa4 ,does he (t5 h ! feel+ t ! :ole _w is aga9/ him8 #ab4 ,is x app>5tly difficult = him to keep 8 m9d on :at he is do+8 #ac4 ,is he tr\bl$ frequ5tly ) indige/ion or he>tburn8 #ad4 ,does he say t he sometimes gets s disc\rag$ he feels l giv+ up8 #ae4 ,does he (t5 feel weak or z ?\gh he 7 go+ to fa9t8 #af4 ,does he (t5 h pa9s 9 8 hip or back8 #ag4 ,does he ?9k t p talk ab\t him beh9d 8 back8 #ah4 ,does he ?9k he has _h a great deal ( h>d luck 9 8 life8 #ai4 ,does he say t p frequ5tly play mean tricks on him8 #bj4 ,does he worry ab\t _m ?+s8 #ba4 ,does he h tr\ble gett+ along ) p8 #bb4 ,does he compla9 ( be+ frequ5tly tr\bl$ ) long p]iods ( insomnia or re/less sleep8 #bc4 ,does he (t5 appe> li/less1 indiff]5t or un9t]e/$ 9 life ar\nd him8 #bd4 ,is he suspici\s ( "s ( 8 acqua9tances or fri5ds8 #be4 ,are 8 habits ( eat+ or sleep+ irregul> & peculi>8 ,an affirmative answ] to any "o ( ^! que/ions does n mean ! p]son is a neurotic by any means4 ,b a patt]n ( neuroticism is app>5tly pres5t 9 ! p]son if he answ]$ t5 or m ) yes4 ,he appe>s to be maladju/$ to life4 ,ideally e "q %\ld be answ]$ no4 ,if y feel y don't "k ! p]son well en\gh to answ] "s ( ! que/ions1 score only ^? y are sure (4 ,!n1 if two out ( five ( y\r answ]s are yes1 x w\ld appe> t ! p]son may be maladju/$4 ,& incid5tally1 h[ did y make out y\rself8 ,*apt] ,,xvi ,w a ,job ,und]m9e ! ,m>riage8 ,! ,only ?\ght c\ples usually give to _! respective c>e]s at ! "t !y decide to m>ry is :e!r !re w be en\gh income to support !m4 ,actually1 ! type ( "w ! groom does may produce irritations t may ru9 ! union4 ,or if ! bride wants to cont9ue h] c>e] aft] m>riage1 t may cause tr\ble if n h&l$ c>efully4 ,let's take ! problem ( ! bride fir/4 ,%\ld %e cont9ue h] c>e] or devote all h] en]gy to manag+ a home8 ,!re is1 ( c\rse1 no f9al answ]4 ,we "k ( _m m>ri$ c\ples :o h work$ out excell5t relation%ips :ile ! wife cont9ues h] c>e]4 ,b we also "k t su* an arrangem5t is n normal & t x (t5 produces difficulties because ( psy*ological factors4 ,x is apt to be a bl[ to ! husb&'s s5se ( ma/]y ( 8 own home if ! bride decides t he c't support h] prop]ly on 8 sal>y4 ,x deprives ! wife ( ! opportunity to w9 ! husb&'s affection & appreciation = h] homemak+ skill4 ,believe x or n1 "o v important appeal ( m>riage to a man is to h 8 favorite di%es home-cook$ & wait+ = him :5 he comes home f "w4 ,if ! wife has a c>e]1 ! c\ple usually ends up eat+ out or eat+ w>m$-up delicatess5 specials4 ,f9ally a c>e] makes x difficult = a wife to be> & re> *ildr51 & *ildr5 are ano!r ( ! big values ( m>riage t hold c\ples toge!r4 ,homemak+ is a def9ite c>e]1 & if !re are *ildr51 a full-"t c>e]4 ,!re is f> m to mak+ a home ?an ! h\sekeep+ end ( x4 ,a homemak] is a physician :5 ! husb& or *ild is sick2 %e is an int]ior decorator2 %e mu/ be a good cook & dietitian2 %e mu/ be an exp]t on clo?+ repair2 %e mu/ be a good tea*] & an exp]t on ! psy*ology ( h&l+ *ildr52 %e mu/ (t5 be a judge 9 settl+ argum5ts2 %e mu/ be an exp]t pur*as+ ag5t because %e w sp5d at lea/ eighty p] c5t ( ! family's income2 %e mu/ be "s sort ( bookkeep] if %e keeps ! budget & pays ! bills2 %e mu/ be a repair man :o c replace a fuse1 repair an electric light cord1 put oil on a squeak+ h+e4 ,if ! av]age husb& gave z m$iocre a p]=mance on 8 job z _m wives d z homemak]s he w\ld be fir$4 ,unque/ionably "o ( ! reasons :y divorce is on ! increase is t c>e]s & o!r div]sions prev5t wives f giv+ z mu* att5tion & c>e to ! art ( homemak+ z !y once did4 ,:y d m>ri$ wom5 "w8 ,"h are ! ma9 reasons3 --,pure necessity4 --,to enable !mselves to h m luxuri\s & extra com=ts ?an ! husb&'s income alone c\ld af=d4 --,because m>riage is n too satisfy+ to !m & !y are bor$4 --,because !y d n want *ildr54 --,because !y want to be indep5d5t f9ancially4 --,because !y w\ld r hire somebody to d ! h\sework ?an to d x !mselves4 --,because !y want an indep5d5t c>e]4 ,virtually all /udies made %[ t ! happie/ m>ri$ wom5 are ^? :o d n "w aft] m>riage4 ,9 ! /udy by ,dr4 ,g4 ,v4 ,hamilton1 ,a ,rese>* 9 ,m>riage1 only =ty-five p] c5t ( ! wom5 work+ aft] m>riage _h a 8satisfactory0 to 8v satisfactory0 m>riage comp>$ to "s fifty-five p] c5t ( ! wom5 n work+ aft] m>riage :o 7 happy 9 m>riage4 ,once a wife />ts work+1 %e may resolve to /op at ! end ( a specific p]iod1 b by ! "t ! deadl9e arrives %e usually f9ds a reason :y %e %\ld cont9ue a little long]4 ,frequ5tly %e & h] husb& h b\ght ?+s l an automobile t prev5t !m f atta9+ en\gh /ability f9ancially to p]mit h] to /op work+4 ,%e cont9ues to "w1 !reby putt+ (f hav+ *ildr5 & p]haps nev] has !m4 ,b n[ let's take up ! great]--& less und]/ood--dang]s involv$ 9 ! types ( "w ! groom does4 ,_m wives today ?9k !y are dissatisfi$ ) _! husb&s :5 actually !y are dissatisfi$ ) 8 work+ habits or 8 job4 ,= example1 "s jobs c>ry m social pre/ige ?an o!rs4 ,"h are "s tw5ty-f\r occupations rat$ by college /ud5ts 7#aidj7 on _! pre/ige1 ) ^? ) ! highe/ pre/ige at ! top & ^? ) ! lea/ pre/ige at ! bottom3 #a4 ,physician #ac4 ,f>m] 7own]7 #b4 ,cl]gyman #ad4 ,insurance ag5t #c4 ,lawy] #ae4 ,salesman #d4 ,college pr(essor #af4 ,bookkeep] #e4 ,manufactur] #ag4 ,ma*9i/ #f4 ,bank] #ah4 ,c>p5t] #g4 ,arti/ or au?or #ai4 ,b>b] #h4 ,man ( leisure #bj4 ,factory op]ative #i4 ,eng9e] 7college tra9$7 #ba4 ,blacksmi? #aj4 ,factory sup]9t5d5t #bb4 ,soldi] #aa4 ,s*ool tea*] #bc4 ,truck driv] #ab4 ,/orekeep] #bd4 ,dit* digg] ,ri*>d ,o4 ,lang1 z a graduate /ud5t at ! ,univ]sity ( ,*icago1 made a /udy ( m>riage happ9ess bas$ ^u rat+s made by acqua9tances ( m ?an sev5te5 ?\s& m>ri$ c\ples4 ,on ! basis ( 8 f9d+s "h is h[ fifty diff]5t occupations rat$ on ! desc5d+ scale ( m>ital happ9ess4 ,! happie/ are at ! top & ! lea/ happy are at ! bottom4 ,"h is ! approximate ord]3 #a4 ,*emical eng9e]s #bf4 ,factory =em5 #b4 ,m9i/]s #bg4 ,g>age own]s #c4 ,college pr(essors #bh4 ,mail cl]ks #d4 ,tea*]s #bi4 ,insurance salesm5 #e4 ,eng9e]s #cj4 ,brok]s #f4 ,:olesale salesm5 #ca4 ,electricians #g4 ,*emi/s #cb4 ,druggi/s #h4 ,acc\ntants #cc4 ,cl]ks #i4 ,civil eng9e]s #cd4 ,salesm51 auto1 etc4 #aj4 ,(fice work]s #ce4 ,railroad (fice work]s #aa4 ,physicians #cf4 ,railroad work]s #ab4 ,bank]s #cg4 ,f>m]s #ac4 ,newspap] work]s #ch4 ,bond salesm5 #ad4 ,gov]nm5t work]s #ci4 ,skill$ work]s #ae4 ,cop]ative (ficials #dj4 ,b>b]s #af4 ,ar*itects #da4 ,gas /ation employees #ag4 ,l>ge bus9ess own]s #db4 ,truck driv]s #ah4 ,lawy]s #dc4 ,musicians #ai4 ,/ore salesm5 #dd4 ,real e/ate salesm5 #bj4 ,contractors #de4 ,plumb]s #ba4 ,pr9t]s #df4 ,auto me*anics #bb4 ,bookkeep]s #dg4 ,c>p5t]s #bc4 ,d5ti/s #dh4 ,g5]al me*anics #bd4 ,bank employees #di4 ,travel+ salesm5 #be4 ,small /ore own]s #ej4 ,labor]s ,"o int]e/+ /ati/ic is t :ile eighty p] c5t ( ! cl]gy _h happy or v happy m>riages 7z assess$ by _! fri5ds7 only =ty p] c5t ( salesm5 _h m>riages at lea/ z happy or v happy1 aga9 z assess$ by fri5ds4 ,only elev5 p] c5t ( ! cl]gy seem$ to be really unhappy 9 m>riage :ile ?irty-six ( ! salesm5 74 ,obvi\sly education is n ! det]m9+ factor 9 an occupation's happ9ess quota because physicians1 lawy]s & d5ti/s1 :o require m s*ool+ ?an almo/ any o!r gr\p1 are def9itely less happy 9 m>riage ?an eng9e]s1 tea*]s & m9i/]s4 ,musicians rate v l[1 com+ betwe5 truck driv]s & real e/ate salesm51 app>5tly because ( ! mobility & imp]man5ce ( _! jobs4 ,!re are sev5 types ( "w t seem to be ! major vocational tr\blemak]s4 ,!y don't ne$ to produce tr\ble4 ,9 fact if bo? ! man & wife are aw>e ( ! pot5tial dang]s involv$ & act accord+ly tr\ble r>ely occurs4 ,b if !y don't possess su* aw>5ess1 !y may f9d x increas+ly difficult to f9d happ9ess ?r\gh m>riage4 ,bo? w be res5tful )\t kn[+ :y4 ,we don't advise girls to avoid m>ry+ m5 9 ^! types ( "w4 ,t w\ld be ridicul\s4 ,b we d sugge/ t !y take ! job into consid]ation4 ,!n1 if !y g ahead & m>ry ! man1 !y w d x ) _! eyes wide op5 & ) a plan to remove ! dang] by normaliz+ _! m>ri$ life z mu* z possible despite ! job4 ,) t ?\ght 9 m9d let's take up ! sev5 big tr\blemak]s4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,! ,,man ,,:o ,,travels ,a ,,lot4 ,?is includes n only ! travel+ salesman1 ^: reputation = wayw>dness has a great deal ( basis 9 fact1 b also travel+ ent]ta9]s1 truck driv]s1 pr(essional soldi]s1 casual labor]s1 railroad work]s1 air pilots4 ,!re are also multitudes ( o!rs ^: "w requires /opov]s or prolong$ /ays away f home4 ,x is ! mobility ( ! job r ?an ! fact t unreliable *>act]s "w 9 !m t produces ! tr\ble4 ,lonesome & dissatisfi$1 ! mobile p]son seeks sub/itutes :i* create /rife at home :5 !y are le>n$ (1 & feel+s ( guilt ) ! man ev5 :5 !y ar5't4 ,su* a mobile p]son is m likely to come 9 contact ) o!r wom5 :o may seem v attractive to him s9ce he is d5i$ ! companion%ip & daily affection ( 8 family4 ,!re seems to be absolutely no d\bt t ^? occupations :i* are some:at fix$1 t is1 :i* require little or no travel+1 provide happi] m>riages1 o!r ?+s be+ equal4 ,wives c c\nt]act ! dang] by frequ5tly arrang+ to accompany ! husb&s on trips !y may make4 ,ev5 ?\gh ! wife may h *ildr51 !re are _m trips on :i* %e c accompany h] husb&4 ,9 mo/ cases ! husb&1 f> f res5t+ h] pres5ce1 welcomes x because he does get lonely & bor$ travel+ 9 /range t[ns4 ,ev5 ?\gh ! wife is busy %e %\ld take "t out to accompany h] husb& ov] 8 entire t]ritory s t %e sees "s ( ! problems he faces & meets "s ( ! p he has to "w )4 ,9 do+ ?is %e s]ves two purposes3 %e is bett] able to talk to h] husb& intellig5tly ab\t 8 "w if %e kn[s ! op]ation & ! p involv$4 ,?is w enc\rage him to unburd5 8 occupational problems to h] r ?an ?9k %e is j a dumb h\sewife & take !m else:]e or brood ov] !m4 ,! second purpose is t by lett+ 8 associates on ! r\te see h] %e makes !m m aw>e ( ! fact t he is a happily m>ri$ man & !y w ?us be less likely to put temptations 9 8 way4 ,9 tak+ normaliz+ actions su* z ^!1 a girl c m safely *oose a mate ^: "w keeps him mobile & ) less fe> t ! m>riage w be haz>d\s4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,! ,,man ,,nobody ,,kn[s4 ,if ! groom e>ns 8 income outside ! community :]e y w live & is se5 v little !re1 he w feel less desire = social approval ( 8 conduct4 ,to put x 9 sociological t]ms1 he w n be "u close 8community scrut9y40 ,?us he is m susceptible to ! temptation ( heavy dr9k+1 gambl+1 or o!r wom5 ?an ! man ^: job does come "u community scrut9y4 ,examples ( ! latt] are tea*]s1 m9i/]s1 /orekeep]s1 & t[n (ficials4 ,^! m5 all come into a great deal ( daily contact ) ! memb]s ( ! community & ?us are m conc]n$ ab\t 8keep+ up appe>ances40 ,o!r ?+s be+ equal1 ! great] ! degree ( social control ex]t$1 ! great] ! happ9ess ( ! m>riage4 ,if a girl does m>ry a man :o doesn't come "u ?is scrut9y1 %e c to "s ext5t br+ him "u x by be+ se5 ) h] husb& at _m public places1 enc\rag+ him to jo9 ) h] 9 p>ticipat+ 9 _m community activities1 by introduc+ h] husb& to _m diff]5t p & lett+ !m "k ! k9d ( "w he does4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,! ,,man ,,:o ,,works ,,at ,,abnormal ,,h\rs4 ,dur+ ! w> we came to he> a lot ab\t ! sw+ %ift]s4 ,b 9 w> or peace !re are millions ( m5 :o keep unusual h\rs--policem51 newspap]m5 work+ on morn+ newspap]s1 b>t5d]s1 night wat*m51 etc4 ,!y c make x difficult = a wife1 p>ticul>ly if %e is a "m1 to adapt h] daily r\t9e ( liv+ to ! %ift+ h\rs ( "w4 ,?is is de/ructive to happ9ess because husb& & wife h too little opportunity to be ) ea* o!r4 ,fur!rmore n _m m5 c *ange _! h\rs ( sleep f week to week )\t becom+ irritable4 ,if he has *ildr5 he is d5i$ ! normal opportunities to play ) !m4 ,all ! evid5ce we h indicates t occupations :i* require work+ late are n z likely to be associat$ ) m>ital happ9ess z ^? occupations :i* p]mit work+ dur+ ! daylight h\rs4 ,9 "o case a c\ple m>ri$ sev5 ye>s 7 on ! v]ge ( divorce )9 f\r mon?s aft] ! husb& took a night job4 ,he _h become lonely because he miss$ all 8 normal associations & f9ally _h fall5 9 love ) a waitress at an all-night lun*room :]e he ate4 ,happily ! wife kept h] s5ses & in/ead ( agree+ to ! divorce m]ely ask$ = a po/ponem5t ( ! decision = a few mon?s4 ,mean:ile %e got busy & made a great] ef=t to make home a m appeal+ place to him4 ,%e re>rang$ ! s*$ule ( ! *ildr5 s !y c\ld be ) _! fa!r an h\r e day1 %e began pay+ m att5tion to h] own groom+ & arrang$ h] own s*$ule s t %e c\ld sleep at ! same "t h] husb& did two days a week4 ,soon ! husb& lo/ int]e/ 9 ! o!r woman4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,! ,,man ,,^: ,,income ,,is ,,irregul>4 ,?is includes all salesm5 work+ on commission1 free-lance writ]s1 small bus9ess own]s1 seasonal work]s1 lawy]s1 physicians1 brok]s1 plumb]s1 ar*itects1 etc4 ,"o fact t has be5 notic$ repeat$ly 9 m>riage /udies is t regul>ity ( income has a consid]able influ5ce ^u m>riage happ9ess4 ,app>5tly c\ples hav+ regul> incomes are bett] able to plan _! exp5ditures & sav+s1 to be nei!r flu% at "o "t nor impov]i%$ at ano!r1 & are bett] able to "w out long-t]m f9ancial plans4 ,at any rate !re seems to be a good deal less bick]+ :]e ! income is regul>4 ,to live happily ) a man ) a fluctuat+ income ! mates ne$ to %[ ! wisdom ( ! ,biblical ,joseph1 by sav+ dur+ fat mon?s = lean mon?s1 & by keep+ an unusually rigor\s eye on ! acc\nts4 ,if !y c save up a real backlog1 & c take a philosophical attitude t[>d ! :imsies ( 8 income1 !y %\ld h no m tr\ble ?an ! av]age c\ple4 ,! sav+s w provide a psy*ological cu%ion z well z a real "o4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,! ,,man ,,^: ,,"w ,,is ,,dirty ,,or ,,n]ve-,,rack+4 ,we "k a f>m] :o says 8 wife is s annoy$ by 8 dirty clo!s t %e won't t\* !m & won't let him inside h] h\se until he puts on dress %oes4 ,su* wives %\ld rememb] t dirt is an honorable m>k ( a f>m]'s1 a me*anic's1 or a coal m9]'s occupation4 ,& p]haps if approa*$ good-natur$ly1 he c be p]suad$ to *ange to clean clo!s be=e leav+ ! site ( 8 "w4 ,o!r husb&s h jobs ^: "w is noisy1 t5se1 or exact+4 ,?is includes /eeplejacks1 tunnel build]s1 f\ndry work]s1 pilots1 etc4 ,! jobs leave ! husb& emotionally exhau/$ & highly irritable4 ,! wife ( su* a man w f9d h]self involv$ 9 repeat$ qu>rel+ & snip+ unless %e realizes ! husb&'s /ate ( m9d :5 he comes home & sees to x t he has a w>m ba? & an h\r ( re/ & relaxation be=e %e di/urbs him or approa*es him ) any family problems4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,! ,,man ,,:o ,,feels ,,insecure ,,9 ,,8 ,,job4 ,job security1 l regul>ity ( income1 is an important factor 9 m>riage happ9ess4 ,a numb] ( /udies h %[n t ! mo/ cont5t$ & satisfi$ m5 are ^? :o feel secure 9 _! job4 ,! assurance ( p]man5ce enables ! man to be s]5e4 ,:5 a man feels insecure 9 8 job he is m likely to *ange jobs frequ5tly1 hop+ to improve 8 t5ure4 ,?is con/ant *ang+ ( n only jobs b ! accompany+ new neighborhoods & s*ool sy/ems = ! family produce fray$ n]ves & _m annoy+ problems4 ,loss ( "w1 ev5 ?\gh x is tempor>y1 br+s worry ov] :]e ! next meal is com+ f1 br+s 9 ! possibility ( public relief1 l[]s ! man's self-respect & may decrease 8 wife's confid5ce 9 him z a wor?-:ile husb& & provid]4 ,und\bt$ly "o ( ! reasons = ! rise ( ! divorce rate aft] ! great depression 0 ! t5sion eng5d]$ by ?reat ( unemploym5t :i* plac$ great /ra9s ^u family liv+4 ,if a girl m>ries a man 9 su* a /atus %e %\ld be prep>$ to help h] husb& by n be+ critical ( 8 "w & by n ?r[+ x up to him t he is unable to get a p]man5t job4 ,%e c ev5 enc\rage1 & sympa!tically help him get "s specializ$ tra9+ t may prep>e him = a bett] job :i* (f]s great] security4 ,p]haps he c d x at night or by correspond5ce c\rses4 ,f> m m5 ?an d w\ld seek to improve _! vocational skills if _! wives w\ld enc\rage & inspire !m to become m compet5t4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,! ,,man ,,:o ,,is ,,n ,,pr\d ,,( ,,8 ,,job4 ,social pre/ige ( an occupation is an intangible factor t nev]!less has a great deal to d ) m>ital happ9ess4 ,a man is m likely to "w out a happy m>riage :5 he is engag$ 9 "w t is approv$ & respect$ by ! community4 ,if ! man is a grav$igg] or bill collector or dogcat*] ! wife1 & p>ticul>ly ! *ildr51 may be s5sitive ab\t ! lack ( pre/ige involv$4 ,if su* a m>riage is to succe$1 ! wife mu/ realize t h] man is p]=m+ an ess5tial function 9 ! community4 ,fur!r1 %e %\ld realize t if su* a family seems to live happily toge!r1 if !y are active 9 *ur* & community affairs & lead respect$ lives1 !y w be accept$ = :at !y are & n = :at ! man's occupation happ5s to be4 ,"o ( ! happie/1 mo/ respect$ m5 we "k is ! g>bage collector 9 a ,new ,engl& t[n4 ,we repeat1 ! sev5 types ( m5 we h j discuss$ are n necess>ily to be %unn$ z mates4 ,b girls m>ry+ !m %\ld realize ! problems t may be involv$4 ,*apt] ,,xvii ,! ,vet]an z a ,mate ,mo/ ( ! m>riages f n[ until #aiee w involve vet]ans ( ,_w ,w> ,,ii4 ,x is probable t at lea/ eight million vet]ans w m>ry by !n4 ,dur+ ^! ye>s our m>riage rate is expect$ to be ! highe/ 9 our hi/ory4 ,= ?is reason1 if = no o!r1 x is po9tless to make any special problem ( ! vet]an1 z s _m p are try+ to d4 ,x is true t w> *anges m51 b x also *anges ! girls :o /ay$ at home--& = t matt] ! m5 :o happ5$ to /ay at home4 ,!re is no ne$ to discuss ! "q1 8,%\ld a girl m>ry a vet]an80 because mo/ girls w m>ry vet]ans anyh[1 & !re is no reason :y !y %\ld hesitate4 ,b :at we w d n[ is po9t out "s ( ! *anges t occurr$ :ile ! man 0 away s t ! vet]an & ! girl c und]/& ea* o!r bett]4 ,9 _m ways ! vet]an is a bett] prospective mate ?an :5 he w5t away4 ,he may h acquir$ "s good habits 9 ! ,army3 gett+ up on "t1 tak+ c>e ( p]sonal belong+s1 ord]l9ess4 ,8 horizon may h broad5$ & he may h le>n$ to be m tol]ant4 ,he probably has matur$ beyond 8 *ronological age4 ,he has le>n$ a great deal ab\t loyalty to a cause1 p]sev]ance & pati5ce1 all ( :i* w help make him a bett] mate4 ,(t5 he has a*iev$ a ne$$ emotional indep5d5ce f home & "m4 ,he has become practical & v reali/ic4 ,mo/ important ( all1 p]haps1 he le>n$ :ile away to appreciate ! value ( m>riage & ! home4 ,he ye>ns m ?an any?+ to settle d[n 9 "s quiet place ) a nice girl & raise a family4 ,he has _h en\gh runn+ ar\nd & be+ at loose ends4 ,! vet]an1 ( c\rse1 has lo/ & ga9$ c]ta9 skills1 he may seem crude & he may appe> to h l[] ideals & /&>ds4 ,he worries a great deal ab\t ! future1 is some:at unsure ( himself 9 "s civilian situations4 ,ernie ,pyle ! late1 fam$ w> correspond5t po9t$ out "s ( ^! *anges :5 he wrote3 ,our m5 c't make ! *ange f normal civilians into w>riors & rema9 ! same p4 ,ev5 if !y 7 away f y "u normal circum/ances 444 !y w\ld n come home j z y knew !m4444 ,!y are b\nd to be diff]5t p f ^? y s5t away4444 ,!y are r\gh]4444 ,kill+ is a r\gh bus9ess4444 ,language has *ang$ f m]e pr(anity to obsc5ity4444 ,!y miss wom54444 ,!y express$ long+s4444 ,_! :ole conduct %[ _! ne$ = female companion%ip4444 ,money value means no?+ to !m4444 ,a man le>ns to get :at he ne$s by 8requisition+40 ,x isn't /eal+1 x's ! only way to acquire c]ta9 ?+s4444 ,w> puts old virtues 9 a *ang$ light4 ,we %all h to rele>n a simple fundam5tal or two :5 ?+s get back to normal4 ,! /&>ds ( fight+ m5 are ^? ( m5 liv+ )\t wom51 ( m5 :o h lo/ _m ( ! moral values ( our normal liv+4 ,if !y hadn't lo/ !m !y w\ldn't h be5 good kill]s4 ,"s ( !m h feel+s ( guilt & remorse f *eap wom5 !y h kn[n4 ,o!rs are %y & )drawn because !y h _h long p]iods ( isolation away f wom54 ,z a result ( ! w> _m vet]ans h op5 or subconsci\s conflicts involv+ weak5$ morals1 %att]$ values1 duties to o!rs1 8debt0 ! gov]nm5t owes !m1 opportunities !y h miss$1 w> injuries or h&icaps !y incurr$4 ,!y are bo!r$ ab\t :e!r to return to s*ool 444 :e!r to g back to ! 8old0 swee!>t 444 :e!r to rema9 9 ! ,army4 ,"s h feel+s ( inf]iority z !y try to make _! way into a /range _w or return to an almo/ =gott5 _w4 ,9 ! ,army or ,navy !y le>n$ to let o!rs take ! responsibilities & ! initiative4 ,!y made fun ( ! 8eag] beav]s0 & le>n$ to reg>d 8goldbrick+0 7evad+ h>d "w7 z a virtue4 ,b 9 civilian life1 ambition & h>d "w are two ( ! great virtues4 ,9 addition to all ^! issues to worry !m1 !y face ! job ( decid+ :at to d4 ,9 "o survey ( soldi]s1 ab\t sev5 p] c5t said !y w\ld return to s*ool on a full-"t s*$ule ) or )\t gov]nm5t aid4 ,ano!r tw5ty-eight p] c5t said !y w\ld g back to s*ool if gov]nm5t aid 0 provid$4 ,t makes ?irty-five p] c5t :o hope to g to s*ool4 7,b _m ( !m probably won't47 ,mo/ ( ^! hop+ to return 7 "u tw5ty-five4 ,ab\t half ( all ! m5 hop$ to return to _! old job or to a new job 9 _! same community4 ,! av]age vet]an has f\r alt]natives ( action3 ,he c g back to s*ool2 he c g back to 8 old or a simil> job2 he c g into a job = ! fir/ "t2 he c select a new field ( "w4 ,mo/ ( !m want a vacation1 a wife1 & a job1 ?\gh n necess>ily 9 t ord]4 ,"s ( ! m5 w h feel+s ( insecurity4 ,"s ( !m h nev] work$ be=e4 ,!y are ask+ !mselves3 ,c ,i get a job8 ,w my old job be wait+ = me8 7,?is p>ticul>ly di/urbs m5 :o are be+ releas$ relatively late47 ,is my girl go+ to m>ry me8 ,0 %e loyal to me :ile ,i 0 gone8 ,if y are a girl consid]+ ! possibility ( m>ry+ a vet]an1 "h are ?\ghts y might keep 9 m9d4 --,y mu/ assume he is a normal p]son & treat him l "o4 ,ev5 if he doesn't seem to be he %\ld make ! adju/m5t to civilian life )9 a few mon?s4 --,don't confess any 8misde$s0 ( y\r own--!y w only upset him & add no?+ ei!r to ! pres5t adju/m5t or future happ9ess4 --,talk out y\r problem1 y\r futures1 c>efully & 9 detail4 ,?is w help bo? ( y be sure ( ! responsibilities y face 9 m>riage & w cause bo? ( y to plan sy/ematically & n haphaz>dly ab\t ! future4 --,if y agree to m>ry1 g ahead & be m>ri$ 9 *ur* ) a conv5tional c]emony ) all ! trimm+s4 ,unless he is t]ribly oppos$1 don't be cont5t$ ) less ?an a *ur* or home w$d+ ) ! fri5ds & families ( bo? pres5t4 ,/udies h %[n t m>riages t took place )9 ! sanctity ( ! *ur* t5d to be happi] ?an ^? t d n4 --,9 deal+ ) him dur+ ! fir/ few weeks don't tell him :at to d or :]e to g4 ,make him feel relax$1 enc\rage him to wait on y1 make him feel useful4 ,if y are a return+ vet]an y %\ld accept ! fact t y are go+ to f9d y\r girls diff]5t f :5 y left4 ,& x won't be all ag+4 ,!y h be5 work+ 9 great] numb]s ?an ev] be=e & on ! surface are m indep5d5t4 ,9 spite ( ?is1 rememb] t girls want to be treat$ g5tly & consid]ately4 ,!y /ill love s(t lights & sweet music1 !y want to he> y\r complim5ts1 !y want t t5d] good-night kiss if !y l y1 & t romantic conv]sational int]play4 ,y mu/ n =get t y h be5 away a long "t4 ,y may f9d y\r fem99e psy*ology ru/y4 ,girls are /ill s(t & s5tim5tal1 /ill want+ to be made love to1 /ill want+ to m>ry & make homes & h y\r *ildr54 ,don't let ! inhumanity ( w> make y cynical4 ,su* an attitude w\ld keep y f f9d+ ! mate ) :om y c be happy4 ,w y pick y\r mate or w %e pick y8 ,because ( ! surplus ( wom5 ov] m5 n[ y c d ! pick+4 ,y don't h z mu* gr\nd = wond]+ :e!r y w m>ry z ! girls d4 ,b w y pick y\r own mate8 ,probably n4 ,x has be5 said3 8,a man ru%es aft] a woman until %e cat*es him40 ,actually1 pick+ a mate n[adays is a mutual process2 bo? ( y pick ea* o!r4 ,x is a complicat$ process & probably nei!r ( y kn[s q :at is go+ on4 ,"p ( ! "t "o ( y may be m aw>e ( :at is go+ on ?an ! o!r2 "p ( ! "t nei!r ( y is sure4 ,:at k9d ( a mate %\ld y look =8 ,^! ?+s h be5 cov]$ 9 detail 9 previ\s *apt]s4 ,h[ev] "h are a few ?\ghts t take on p>ticul> p]t95ce :5 appli$ to vet]ans4 ,ask y\rself3 ,w %e make me a good wife8 ,c %e cook1 sew1 run a home8 ,is %e ! sort ( girl ,i w\ld l to h z a "m ( my *ildr58 ,w %e we> well8 ,don't pick h] j because %e is glamor\s because glam\r & good looks are l>gely cosmetic processes anyway4 ,is %e selfi% or is %e consid]ate ( me & my well-be+8 ,:at are h] good traits8 ,:at are h] poor traits8 ,don't m>ry a girl :o has traits t are opposite ( y\r own unless %e is opposite only 9 good traits :i* y lack4 ,= example1 if y\r own p>5ts 7 unhappily m>ri$1 pick a girl ^: p>5ts 7 happily m>ri$4 ,if y feel unsure ( y\rself1 pick a reliant1 confid5t girl4 ,if y are q irritable1 be sure to get a mate :o is def9itely tranquil4 ,:at ab\t ! m5 :o h be5 physically or m5tally hurt by ! w>8 ,%\ld a girl %un a man :o has a w> injury8 ,9 ,_w ,w> ,,ii1 :i* la/$ "s =ty-f\r mon?s1 casualties ( "o sort or ano!r exce$$ "o million m51 ) ne>ly ?ree hundr$ ?\s& lives lo/ & ) fifte5 ?\s& vet]ans los+ an arm or leg or m memb]s ( 8 body4 ,to le>n h[ girls w\ld feel t[>d m>ry+ injur$ m51 ! s5ior au?or ask$ five hundr$ girls :e!r !y w\ld m>ry vet]ans ) any ( ?irty-?ree diff]5t types ( w> injuries4 ,! injuries includ$ su* ?+s z loss ( spee*1 loss ( two eyes1 complete deafness1 recurr5t mal>ia1 loss ( hair & eyebr[s due to burns1 sev]al f+]s miss+1 injuries to head includ+ replac$ nose1 e>1 tee? & jaw4 ,_m ( ! girls qu]i$ 7 engag$ to s]vicem54 ,x 0 int]e/+ to note t old] girls %[$ a great] will+ness to m>ry injur$ m5 ?an ! y\ng] girls4 ,?is may be due to ! fact t ! old] girls are m conc]n$ ab\t _! *ances ( m>ry+4 ,also1 engag$ girls %[$ a great] will+ness ?an un5gag$ girls4 ,! reason = ?is may be t engag$ girls "k ! capabilities ( _! fiancs & c see h[ _! m5 c\ld be successful at a job & m>riage 9 spite ( an injury4 ,( ! ?irty-?ree injuries1 only f\r 7 *eck$ by ! majority ( engag$ girls z s]i\s en\gh to impel !m to )draw f _! engagem5ts4 ,^? f\r1 9 ord] 73 ,impot5ce ,loss ( bo? arms 9 su* a way t !y c't be replac$ ) artificial arms ,m5tal unbalance requir+ in/itutional conf9em5t = sev]al mon?s or long] ,loss ( bo? legs s t !y are n replaceable4 ,:ile1 z y notice1 ^! fiances felt extremely reluctant to m>ry a man :o _h lo/ 8 sexual pot5cy1 only a small proportion 7#af7 w\ld refuse to m>ry an ex-soldi] :o _h become /]ile4 ,inasmu* z mo/ ( ! engag$ girls w\ld n m>ry a man :o _h become sexually impot5t x is cle>ly evid5t t sexual activity is reg>d$ 9 a f> diff]5t light ?an hav+ *ildr54 ,mo/ ( ! girls w\ld m>ry if !y c\ld h sex ev5 ?\gh !re 7 no possibility ( conceiv+ *ildr54 ,:5 ! un5gag$ girls 7 qu]i$1 eight injuries 7 li/$ by ! majority1 includ+ ! f\r m5tion$ by ! engag$ girls4 ,! additional f\r 73 ,loss ( spee* ,loss ( "o leg & "o arm1 :5 nei!r is replaceable ,g5]al p]man5t bad heal? ,m5tal in/ability t requires no in/itutionaliz+4 ,x 0 int]e/+ to note t nei!r gr\p %[$ a majority oppos+ bl9dness4 ,also1 note t ^! girls li/$ loss ( limbs only :]e !y 7 n replaceable4 ,mo/ girls pr(ess$ will+ness to m>ry m5 if _! lo/ limbs c\ld be replac$ by artificial ones4 ,all ( ! girls seem to h be5 deeply impress$ by ! progress made 9 rehabilitat+ ! injur$4 ,_m _h se5 ! amaz+ results ) _! own eyes & s _h lo/ _! fe>s ab\t m>ry+ m5 ) su* injuries4 ,probably sev5ty-five ?\s& return+ vet]ans may h he>+ impairm5ts4 ,b ) he>+ aids or lip-read+1 mo/ ( ^! m5 c be fairly normal )9 a few mon?s4 ,ev5 ?\gh a girl hesitates ab\t m>ry+ an impot5t man1 mu* ( impot5ce is psy*ologically caus$ & if s is curable4 ,fur!rmore ! new] sex hormones sci5ce has discov]$ are wond] work]s4 ,"h are a c\ple ( precautions t %\ld be obs]v$ 9 m>riages involv+ injur$ m53 --,no girl %\ld m>ry a vet]an because ( pity4 ,x %\ld be = love4 --,no vet]an %\ld hesitate to m>ry j because he has a defect1 provid+ ! two love ea* o!r1 "o ( !m 7pref]ably he7 c make a liv+1 & provid+ !y h discuss$ ! h&icap & bo? und]/& its nature & limitations4 --,!y %\ld give !mselves a wait+ p]iod1 j z any o!r two p :o h be5 sep>at$ %\ld d1 = say six mon?s be=e m>ry+4 --,rememb] t few p are "o hundr$ p] c5t p]fect physically4 ,"u usual conditions1 eighte5 p] c5t ( our work+ population has a def9ite physical defect or *ronic disease4 ,( our w> h&icapp$1 x is believ$ t "s eighty p] c5t c be plac$1 by c>eful selection ( jobs1 9 "w :]e !y c be happy & j z productive 9 t p>ticul> job z !y w\ld be )\t ! h&icap4 ,ano!r twelve or ?irte5 p] c5t w ne$ rehabilitation be=e su* placem5t c be made4 ,ano!r five p] c5t w ne$ ext5sive rehabilitation & ev5 !n w h to be plac$ 9 8%elt]$0 "w4 ,:at ab\t ! psy*ological casualties ( w>8 ,"h we d h a real problem4 ,be=e ! end ( ! w> a ?ird ( ! ,army's dis*>ges 7 psy*oneurotic cases ( "o =m or ano!r4 ,b y %\ld also rememb] t ab\t "o-six? ( ! m5 reject$ by ! draft1 ! #d-;,f's1 7 reject$ = neuropsy*iatric reasons4 ,! fact is t close to "o-f\r? ( all ! s+le m5 9 ?is c\ntry are maladju/$ to "s ext5t4 ,?is helps expla9 ! t]rific rise 9 ! rate ( divorce4 ,psy*oneurosis is a broad t]m cov]+ 8combat fatigue10 8w> n]ves10 ulc]s & o!r psy*osomatic di/urbances4 ,9 ,_w ,w> ,i x 0 mislead+ly ref]r$ to z 8%ell %ock40 ,don't feel !re is some?+ lack+ 9 a vet]an :o suff]$ a psy*ological breakd[n because ! facts %[ t unskill$ 8bad eggs0 are less likely to break d[n ?an ! m5 :o _h good records 9 cl]ical or skill$ jobs 9 civilian life & 7 exempl>y 9 _! milit>y conduct4 ,"s ( ! factors produc+ breakd[n 9 w> s]vice 7 long-cont9u$ t5sion1 repeat$ expectancy ( injury or dea?1 t]rify+ exp]i5ces1 loss ( comrades 9 w> f battle1 excessive physical fatigue1 insuffici5t sleep4 ,p]haps x w\ld help y to und]/& ! psy*oneurotic if we expla9$ j h[ ^! breakd[ns occur4 ,try to be> 9 m9d t all ( u h a break+ po9t1 :i* v>ies f p]son to p]son4 ,?is break+ po9t is a 8fru/ration climax0 & is rea*$ :5ev] ! p]son has s _m fru/rations pil$ on him t he c no long] endure !m4 ,! ability to take x is fru/ration tol]ance4 ,any "o ( u c break if ! fru/rations are int5se en\gh & long cont9u$4 ,s :5 ! soldi] breaks1 x simply means t 8 fru/rations h be5 m ?an he c be>4 ,x is no?+ to be a%am$ ( & no?+ to be hidd54 ,9 a w> ! soldi] is con/antly expos$ to ! ?reat ( dea?1 & nev] see+ 8 lov$ ones aga94 ,b 9 civilian life1 dea? does n con/antly ?reat5 him & normally he is n s beset by fru/rations4 ,imm$iately aft] ! #aiah ,armi/ice 0 sign$1 ?\s&s ( soldi]s :o seem$ to be neurotic1 %ell%ock$1 etc41 recov]$ v quickly4 ,:y8 ,because _! lives 7 no long] ?reat5$1 !y c\ld return home & 7 reliev$ f ! noise ( battle & ! emotional upheavals ( see+ comrades %ot d[n4 ,:at does all ?is tell y8 ,simply ?is4 ,:5 su* a vet]an comes home he may seem /range & n]v\s4 ,he may be cynical ab\t girls & disgu/$ ) ?+s 9 g5]al4 ,he may ev5 break out 9 te>s occasionally & w gripe a great deal4 ,b he usually w return to normal soon4 ,x may take a mon?1 ?ree mon?s1 ev5 six mon?s4 ,if y are 8 girl j be pati5t4 ,don't make him talk1 don't ask him = h>r[+ details ( battle4 ,enc\rage him to get pl5ty to eat1 sleep & re/4 ,don't drag him ar\nd & %[ him (f4 ,give him lots ( love & affection4 ,keep him busy & occupi$ :5 he is 9 ! mood4 ,9 %ort1 be natural ) him1 b don't pamp] him too mu* or too long4 ,z = m>riage1 !re is no reason :y he %\ldn't m>ry4 ,he w usually make a p]fectly normal husb& if he isn't expos$ to new1 cont9u$ fru/rations4 ,if he is /ill unsettl$ c]ta9ly don't m>ry yet because m>riage1 & ! responsibilities m>riage involves1 w c]ta9ly n help him4 ,! be/ proc$ure w\ld be to wait at lea/ six mon?s & !n m>ry--unless 8 doctor or psy*ologi/ advises aga9/ x4 ,*apt] ,,xviii ,s ,y ,agree to ,m>ry3 ,:at ,next8 ,we presume !re are /ill "y m5 :o get d[n on _! knees & make =mal proposals b we ar5't p]sonally acqua9t$ ) !m4 ,! av]age c\ple today goes ab\t x m casually4 ,9 ! c\rse ( a conv]sation !y may discuss m>riage & f9d t bo? l ! idea4 ,p]haps ! old way 0 bett]4 ,at lea/ x 0 cle>-cut4 ,n[adays a girl (t5 _c be q sure :e!r %e is engag$ or n4 ,! "y man may talk good-natur$ly ab\t 8,:5 we get m>ri$0 or may give h] 8 w+s or frat]nity p9 )\t exactly expla9+ :at ! symbol is to mean4 ,mo/ girls tell u !y h be5 engag$ two or ?ree times4 ,p]haps ?is vagu5ess is "o reason :y !y fall 9 & out ( engagem5ts4 ,:5 is a c\ple engag$8 ,accord+ to our ?9k+1 two p are n engag$ until !y def9itely agree t !y want to m>ry ea* o!r 444 n until !y in=m _! fri5ds & if possible _! respective p>5ts t !y int5d to m>ry 444 & n until ! man gives ! girl "s symbol to display t w tell ! _w %e is engag$ & (f ! m>riage m>ket4 ,f\r out ( five m5 :o become def9itely engag$ give _! fiances an engagem5t r+ & t is probably mo/ practical because a r+ has be5 ! "o accept$1 univ]sal symbol ( betro?al = m ?an tw5ty-five hundr$ ye>s4 ,orig9ally ! symbolism 0 less subtle4 ,! r+ orig9at$ 9 ! days ( m>riage by capture :5 ! ankles or wri/ ( ! girl 7 b\nd ) sweetgrass4 ,z ! b9d+s became purely symbolic only ! f+] 0 ti$ up1 ) an engagem5t r+4 ,if y decide on a diamond r+ 7& m ?an ?ree-f\r?s ( c\ples d7 !y range 9 price f a few doll>s to _m ?\s&s ( doll>s4 ,accord+ to "o ( ! wom5's magaz9es1 m ?an half ! engag$ girls get diamond r+s co/+ ab\t fifty doll>s4 ,:atev] ! symbol adopt$1 x %\ld s]ve ! purpose ( tak+ ! c\ple 8out ( circulation0 & to provide exclusiv5ess = ea* o!r4 ,t is "o ( ! basic conditions ( an engagem5t4 ,exceptions c be made if ! man is away = a prolong$ p]iod1 b z a rule !re %\ld be no extra-curricul> dat+4 ,"h are "s ( ! purposes t an engagem5t %\ld s]ve 9 addition to tak+ y out ( circulation3 --,engagem5t provides a p]iod ( deep5+ love & affection dur+ :i* !re is an awak5+ ( sexual feel+s :i* w make ! c\ple ye>n = ! full intimacy :i* m>riage p]mits4 --,x s]ves z a p]iod ( plann+ = ! future dur+ :i* ! two plan :5 !y w be m>ri$1 ! k9d ( w$d+ !y w h1 :]e !y w honeymoon1 ! sort ( h\sekeep+ arrangem5t !y w make1 :]e !y w live1 etc4 --,x is a p]iod ( p]sonality adju/m5t1 ( weld+ ! c\ple into a union4 --,x is a p]iod ( explor+ ea* o!r's int]e/s to f9d :at activities exi/ t bo? enjoy & c %>e4 --,x is a "t :5 ! wise c\ple prep>es = m>riage4 ,! man gets a job1 saves "s money4 ,! girl le>ns & p]fects h] homemak+ skills 9 cook+1 sew+1 & h\se manag+4 --,x is a "t to decide :e!r !y want *ildr5 & h[ _m4 --,x is a "t :5 antagoni/ic habits are brok5 & new habits :i* w p]mit a smoo!r m>ri$ adju/m5t are e/abli%$4 --,x is a "t :5 diff]5ces are recogniz$ ab\t religion1 ab\t p>5ts1 & solv$ or compromis$4 ,because ( all ^! functions1 ! engagem5t is a p]iod t requires "t4 ,! beg9n+ ( ! w> saw a %>p rise 9 8gangplank0 or ha/y w> m>riages4 ,& ! end ( ! w> produc$ ano!r %>p rise4 ,?\s&s ( c\ples ru%$ into m>riage a few days aft] ! return+ vet]ans got (f ! boat4 ,we c appreciate ! desire ( "s long-sep>at$ c\ples to m>ry imm$iately b if !y d !y are only add+ to ! inevitable toll ( brok5 m>riages t w result4 ,ha/y m>riages get (f to a bad />t simply because ! engagem5t p]iod1 :i* is ! p]iod ( plann+ & prep>ation = m>riage1 is cut %ort4 ,9 "o /udy t 0 made1 =ty-sev5 p] c5t ( ! m>ri$ c\ples :o _h kn[n ea* o!r less ?an six mon?s prior to m>riage 7 poorly adju/$6 ,( ^? :o _h be5 acqua9t$ = five ye>s prior to m>riage1 less ?an fifte5 p] c5t 7 poorly adju/$4 ,( ^? :o _h kn[n ea* o!r less ?an ?ree ye>s1 ab\t ?irty-?ree p] c5t 7 poorly adju/$4 ,simil>ly1 ab\t fifty p] c5t ( ! c\ples _h a poor adju/m5t if !y _h be5 engag$ less ?an ?ree mon?s be=e m>riage4 ,9 contra/1 less ?an tw5ty p] c5t _h poor adju/m5t :5 _! engagem5t p]iod rang$ f n9e mon?s to two ye>s4 ,& less ?an t5 p] c5t ( ^? :o _h be5 engag$ m ?an two ye>s 7 poorly adju/$4 ,9 o!r words1 ! prospect ( an unhappy m>riage cle>ly decreases z ! l5g? ( ! engagem5t increases4 ,& incid5tally ! same /udy %[$ t c\ples 7 m happily m>ri$ if bo? sets ( p>5ts approv$ ! m>riage4 ,p>5ts 9 g5]al are m likely to approve an ord]ly m>riage ?an "o contract$ 9 ha/e4 ,_m ha/y m>riages are contract$ secretly4 ,^! take two =ms4 ,fir/1 ! elopem5t1 :i* is *>act]iz$ by a secret w$d+1 b n by a secret m>riage4 ,9 ! second type ! c\ple n only are m>ri$ secretly b keep ! m>riage a secret4 ,all ! evid5ce indicates t ei!r type is less likely to be happy ev5 ?an ! ha/y m>riage p]=m$ 9 public4 ,by _! v nature1 secret w$d+s %\ld be avoid$ by c\ples4 ,!y r>ely take place unless ! p]sons are n sure !y are do+ ! "r ?+4 ,= c\ples t involve a return+ vet]an1 x is especially important t !y be engag$ at lea/ six mon?s aft] ! reunion be=e m>ry+4 ,?is "t w p]mit y to become reacqua9t$1 to make up y\r m9ds if y /ill want to m>ry ea* o!r1 & to adju/ to ! *anges y two h _h dur+ y\r sep>ation4 ,x provides ! vet]an "t to decide :at to d ab\t 8 c>e]4 ,& x provides him ) a *ance to get back into ! r\t9e ( civilian liv+ be=e he takes on ! responsibilities ( m>riage4 ,9 ! ,army or ,navy mu* ( 8 ?9k+ 0 done = him4 ,n[ he mu/ ?9k = himself & take on responsibilities4 ,! transition may be relatively %ort = him if he decides to g back to an old job2 x may be q long if he elects to cont9ue 8 vocational prep>ation4 ,sex is a problem dur+ engagem5t1 because x is accept$ z a p]iod = great] intimacy1 & prop]ly s4 ,9 c\rt%ip re/ra9$ c>ess+ may be engag$ 9 )\t di/urb+ public morals1 b pett+ z we def9e x %\ld wait ^u engagem5t4 ,our cu/oms p]mit great] intimacy dur+ engagem5t ?an dur+ c\rt%ip b fr[n ^u complete intimacy be=e m>riage4 ,on ! o!r h&1 society relaxes *ap]onage ( engag$ c\ples1 p]mits !m to keep lat] h\rs1 to be toge!r = long] p]iods ( "t1 p]haps to take trips toge!r4 ,"u su* circum/ances re/ra9t mu/ be appli$ if an engag$ c\ple is to refra9 f int]c\rse4 ,=tunately a girl has m inhibitions & ?us c apply re/ra9t m readily4 ,h[ev]1 if %e loves h] fianc deeply %e is torn betwe5 two desires3 :e!r to d or n d :at %e has be5 taught2 or :e!r to d or n d :at h] lov$ "o sugge/s4 ,if %e gives 9 to him1 x is usually because ( ! t5d]ness ( h] affection r ?an because %e has great sexual desire4 ,ea* c\ple %\ld decide :at _! limits w be & /ick by !m4 ,bo? %\ld rememb] t _m engagem5ts nev] result 9 m>riage4 ,:ile an engagem5t repres5ts an hone/ decl>ation ( int5tion by ! two p t !y int5d to m>ry1 engag$ c\ples %\ld feel t if !re is any "q 9 _! m9d ab\t ! cont9uance ( ! engagem5t ea* %\ld feel free to call x quits4 ,!y %\ld discuss _! appreh5sions frankly4 ,x is f> bett] n to g ?r\gh ) a m>riage t may prove unsuit$ or unhappy4 7,h[ev] x is fooli%1 ( c\rse1 to break an engagem5t ov] a qu>rel47 ,?is *ance ( break+ (f is ano!r reason = a long engagem5t4 ,! au?ors feel t ev]y?+ %\ld be done to enc\rage c\ples to be sure ( ea* o!r be=e m>riage is contract$4 ,if c\ples 7 tra9$ m = m>riage & w5t ?r\gh a long] prep>atory p]iod1 !n ! m poorly mat*$ c\ples w\ld become aw>e ( ! %oals ahead & we w\ld h f> few] brok5 m>riages 9 ,am]ica6 ,reg>dless ( h[ badly x may hurt a mate or p>5ts or fri5ds1 y %\ld nev] m>ry a p]son aga9/ y\r bett] judgm5t because w$lock w only aggravate an unpleasant situation4 ,nor %\ld y be det]r$ f fe> t ! mate w be s upset emotionally t he w commit a ra% act4 ,su* a fe> 9 itself %\ld be pro( t ! p]son is n emotionally /able & s probably w\ld n make y a good sp\se4 7,incid5tally1 a ra% act is exce$+ly unlikely47 ,"o ( ! que/ions engag$ p frequ5tly ask m>riage c\nselors is h[ mu* ( a 8pa/0 %\ld be reveal$ by "o mate to ! o!r4 ,"o g5]al pr9ciple %\ld be foll[$ completely1 namely1 t :atev] is to be reveal$ %\ld be reveal$ be=e m>riage & n aft]w>d4 ,a second pr9ciple is t lurid confessions ( ! pa/ d n provide a good basis on :i* to beg9 a m>riage4 ,9 mo/ cases1 we believe1 x is wis] = ! "y c\ple n to tell ea* o!r ?+s t may build res5tm5t or di/ru/ or may create hurt or may produce problems outweigh+ :atev] might be ga9$ ?r\gh tell+4 ,j because "o becomes engag$ is no reason :y e skeleton mu/ be rattl$4 ,! only ?+ t a c\ple %\ld tell ea* o!r are ?+s t w\ld h a be>+ on _! future happ9ess 9 m>riage4 ,su* ?+s z conceal$ physical defects1 previ\s m>riage1 legal emb>rassm5ts1 debts1 etc41 %\ld be told because !y w come out soon] or lat] anyh[4 ,h[ev]1 if y d feel impell$--p]haps ?r\gh feel+s ( guilt--to reveal disagreeable aspects ( y\r pa/1 discuss x ) "s tru/$ confidant or physician be=eh& to confirm ! wisdom ( do+ s4 ,& :5 y d make ! revelation1 d x casually & )\t emotion & )\t mak+ a great fuss ov] x4 ,engagem5t is a "t ( gr[+ tol]ance & tru/ & und]/&+4 ,frankness *>act]izes x & y & y\r mate %\ld be reali/ic ) ea* o!r 9 fac+ y\r problems4 ,y\r major problems deal prim>ily ) ! pres5t & ! future r ?an ) ! pa/4 ,"o evid5ce t y are try+ to solve !m is ! will+ness ) :i* y freely discuss !m ) ea* o!r1 ) y\r p>5ts & ) y\r tru/$ confidants4 ,*apt] ,,xix ,gett+ ,ready = ,m>ri$ ,intimacy ,9 ! c\rse ( c\nsel+1 "o occasionally enc\nt]s a c\ple ^: m>riage has n be5 att5d$ by complete physical intimacy4 ,9 "o su* case ! two p _h be5 m>ri$ two ye>s4 ,m a/\nd+1 nei!r ( !m 0 aw>e t complete physical intimacy is q common among m>ri$ c\ples6 ,bo? _h be5 re>$ 9 extremely %elt]$ atmosph]es4 ,! boy 0 a m9i/]'s son4 ,! girl _h be5 re>$ by maid5 aunts4 ,!y 7 completely nave ab\t sexual ph5om5a & _h no und]/&+ ( :at 0 giv+ !m ! feel+s ( fru/ration f :i* !y suff]$4 ,h[ important is sex 9 m>riage8 ,does x h mu* to d ) ! happ9ess "o d]ives f m>riage8 ,or is sex m]ely important 9 reproduction8 ,:ile sex may n be ! mo/ important factor 9 m>riage1 x frequ5tly makes or breaks a m>riage4 ,& a satisfy+ adju/m5t on ! level ( physical love is closely associat$ ) m>ital happ9ess4 ,probably ! mo/ important ?+ 9 mak+ a m>riage successful is ! det]m9ation ( bo? mates to make ! m>riage "w4 ,companion%ip & ! mutual work+ out ( problems toge!r are ! fruits ( happy m>riages4 ,b c\ples are r>ely good companions if !y h repressions or fe>s or maladju/m5ts :i* ?w>t _! a*iev+ a satisfy+ unity on ! physical level4 ,"s exp]ts h e/imat$ t dur+ ! fir/ few ye>s ( m>riage ne>ly half ( m>riage happ9ess dep5ds on ! sexual adju/m5t a*iev$4 ,?is does n seem unreasonable because sex provides ! fir/ ru% ( desire t laun*es ! m>riage & cont9ues to integrate ! c\ple & br+ a s5se ( h>mony to _! union4 ,z ! ye>s pass c\ples a*ieve an increas+ly satisfy+ adju/m5t & ! union ( _! bodies at frequ5t int]vals 9 climactic pleasure provides a bond betwe5 !m4 ,! exp]i5ce also is important 9 r$uc+ ! t5sions t develop 9 bo? mates dur+ ! c\rse ( _! daily liv+4 ,^! t5sions are ( _m k9ds b !y include ! sexual t5sion :i* results f hormones be+ p\r$ into ! blood /reams ( bo? ! man & woman4 ,! exhil>at+ orgasms t come z a climax 9 successful coitus break ^! t5sions & produce satisfy+ feel+s ( relaxation & s]5ity4 ,"o ( ! mis=tunes ( mod]n m>riage is t s _m m>ri$ c\ples are n able to a*ieve a satisfactory sexual adju/m5t4 ,/udies h %[n t at lea/ a ?ird ( all wives r>ely exp]i5ce orgasm & at lea/ half ( all wives d n exp]i5ce x ) any great regul>ity4 ,! major reasons = _! failure are3 --,mo/ wives are m inhibit$ & repress$ ?an _! husb&s4 --,mo/ "y wives h less actual sex drive ?an _! husb&s4 --,! husb&s 9 too _m cases are inconsid]ate ( ! wife & are prim>ily conc]n$ 9 a*iev+ satisfaction = !mselves4 ,too (t5 sex--in/ead ( be+ a bond--becomes a qu>rel+ po9t betwe5 ! c\ple4 ,bo? are res5tful4 ,su* feel+s t5d to increase t5sion r ?an r$uce x4 ,because sex is s vital to ! happ9ess ( a m>riage1 we sugge/ t bo? y & y\r mate read a good book on sexual adju/m5t 7see bibliography7 s t y w "k :at to expect & won't be fright5$ by ! ?\ght ( x4 ,! girl 7& p]haps ! man7 c le>n a great deal by tak+ up ! matt] at l5g? :5 %e goes = a prem>ital physical exam9ation a week or s be=e ! w$d+4 ,%e c ask ! physician que/ions ab\t sexual matt]s & cle> up any po9ts t tr\ble h]4 ,he c describe = h] ! s5sations %e c expect to exp]i5ce dur+ ! physical intimacy4 ,at ! "t ( ! exam9ation %e c also discuss any fe>s %e has ( imm$iate pregnancy be=e _! m>riage has a *ance to become /abiliz$4 ,he may sugge/ contraceptive devices or te*niques to elim9ate t possibility & may take h] pelvic measures to see if ! pelvis is too n>r[ = normal *ildbir?4 ,mo/ engag$ c\ples want to "k ab\t contraception1 & ! av]age "y doctors & ne>ly all gynecologi/s are well equipp$ to give su* in=mation4 ,c\ples %\ld be c>eful to ?re% out ?is matt] ( contraception be=e m>riage because religion sometimes causes !m to h /rong--& dang]\s--diff]5ces ( op9ion ab\t x4 ,! problem ( :e!r to h or n to h *ildr51 & :5 to h *ildr51 %\ld def9itely n be left to *ance4 ,mo/ religi\s lead]s are n[ 9 agreem5t on t4 ,= ^? c\ples ^: religion =bids contraceptive devices1 ! rhy?m me?od c be foll[$1 al?\gh ?is me?od is n recomm5d$ = c\ples ^: religion p]mits !m to use o!r me?ods4 ,ano!r ?+ ! bride-to-be may discuss ) ! doctor is h] hym51 :i* is ! traditional m>k ( a virg9 s9ce x /ret*es across ! entrance to h] vag9a4 7,incid5tally1 ! abs5ce ( ! hym5 z an ob/acle is no evid5ce ( non-virg9ity s9ce x c be disrupt$ 9 *ildhood )\t ! girl's k or ?r\gh m$ical exam9ations47 ,if x is s ?ick t discom=t may be exp]i5c$ dur+ fir/ int]c\rse or if x prev5ts int]c\rse entirely1 ! doctor may prescribe a simple treatm5t4 ,all c\ples ent]+ m>riage %\ld und]/& t int]c\rse is n some?+ p d by in/9ct b is a le>n$ proc$ure & t x takes ab\t ?ree to six mon?s = ! typical c\ple to "w out a ?or\ghly satisfy+ adju/m5t4 ,_m brides h all sorts ( baseless fe>s t mu/ be dispell$4 ,!re are ?ree di/9ct phases to a sexual exp]i5ce betwe5 a man & woman & _m ( ! difficulties arise because ! man slights phases "o & ?ree4 ,! fir/ phase is t ( ar\sal4 ,! husb& & wife c>ess ea* o!r & become physically & psy*ologically ready = a m]g+ ( _! bodies4 ,?is fir/ phase %\ld n be hurri$4 ,x is especially important t ! husb& rememb] ?is because a woman's passion ar\ses mu* m sl[ly ?an a man's1 p>ticul>ly dur+ ! fir/ few ye>s ( m>ri$ life4 ,by all[+ pl5ty ( "t = ! woman1 ! c\ple c help equalize _! diff]5ces 9 sex drive4 ,! pres5ce ( erect nipples is an indication t ! woman is becom+ ar\s$ & may be receptive to fur!r advances4 ,phase two is ! actual coitus4 ,9 ! e>ly days ( m>riage ?is %\ld be engag$ 9 g5tly4 ,lat] bo? may be able to enjoy ! tumultu\s vigor ( unre/ra9$ physical intimacy4 ,! husb& %\ld n =get dur+ int]c\rse to tell 8 wife h[ mu* he loves h]1 h[ wond]ful he ?9ks %e is1 h[ mu* delight %e is br++ him4 ,nor %\ld ! wife feel hesitant or ba%ful ab\t do+ likewise4 ,if ei!r c make sugge/ions to ! o!r t w lead to great] enjoym5t1 bo? %\ld feel free to d s4 ,x is only by lov+ frankness & una%am$ cop]ation t husb& & wife are able to a*ieve ! beautiful h>mony & ! exquisite pleasure t only a satisfy+ sexual adju/m5t c br+ !m4 ,9 _m cases 7un=tunately7 ! husb&1 because ( /ra9 & fatigue1 w arrive at 8 orgasm almo/ imm$iately4 ,! av]age c\ple1 aft] "s exp]i5ce1 f9d t actual int]c\rse usually la/s ab\t five to t5 m9utes4 ,"s wives require t5 m9utes or fifte5 m9utes be=e !y are able to a*ieve orgasm4 ,"s m51 p]haps "o 9 sev51 are unable to hold back ejaculation = m ?an two or ?ree m9utes4 ,all c\ples c br+ _! orgasms clos] to ea* o!r if !y w try to accommodate !mselves to ea* o!r4 ,! ideal is = bo? man & wife to h orgasm simultane\sly4 ,orgasm = a man comes ) ! flood+ or ejaculation ( sem9al fluid4 ,= ! woman1 orgasm is m>k$ by ! sudd5 relaxation ( ! muscles 9 h] g5ital region4 ,x is accompani$ by a feel+ ( great t5sion r$uction z well z great pleasure4 ,n[ we come to phase ?ree1 :i* %\ld n be slight$4 ,x is a sort ( po/lude1 an aft] ! /orm4 ,! av]age wife d]ives exquisite pleasure f feel+ h]self & h] husb& relax+4 ,fur!r1 9 ?is phase ! wife wants to be held closely by h] husb& & to be told t he loves h]4 ,%e wants to be made to feel t he loves h] = :at %e is1 all ! qualities t %e has1 all ! traits t %e possesses1 & n alone = ! sexual ?rill t %e has j giv5 him4 ,we might give ! husb& a practical sugge/ion at ?is po9t by tell+ him ?is4 ,if 8 wife is sl[ 9 rea*+ an orgasm he c help h] to rea* orgasm m rapidly by mak+ ?is po/lude j z delightful = h] z possible by be+ t5d] & romantic4 ,)\t realiz+ :at is happ5+ %e w /rive to a*ieve orgasm = ! pleasure %e d]ives f 8 deep & s9c]e appreciation t comes aft]w>d4 ,mo/ "y wives d n h an orgasm 9 ! e>ly days ( m>riage & s %\ld n be di/ress$ if !y d n exp]i5ce x on ! w$d+ night4 ,9 ,t]man's /udy ( sev]al hundr$ wives1 less ?an tw5ty-five p] c5t /at$ !y _h orgasm at fir/ int]c\rse4 ,ano!r tw5ty-five p] c5t said !y exp]i5c$ x )9 a few days or weeks4 ,ano!r tw5ty-five p] c5t r\ghly /at$ t !y exp]i5c$ x sometime betwe5 ! fir/ mon? ( m>riage & ! twelf? mon?4 ,& ! rema9+ wives said !y _h ei!r nev] exp]i5c$ x or did n exp]i5ce x until "o or m ye>s aft] m>riage4 ,9 scor+ ^! same wom5 on _! m>riage happ9ess1 ,t]man f\nd t ^? wom5 :o did n exp]i5ce orgasm )9 ! fir/ ye> 7 significantly less happy 9 m>riage ?an ^? :o _h be5 able to a*ieve x )9 ! fir/ ye>4 ,m ?an half ( ! happie/ husb&s & wives seem$ to be ^? 9 m>riages :]e ! wife _h orgasm )9 ! fir/ few mon?s ( m>riage4 ,x %\ld be rememb]$ h[ev] t ! pres5ce or abs5ce ( orgasm is n necess>ily a crit]ion ( m>riage happ9ess or unhapp9ess4 ,:ile abs5ce ( x is cle>ly an ob/acle = _m c\ples x is n a major cause ( unhapp9ess 9 m>riage1 provid+ t x does occur )9 ! fir/ ye>4 ,! happie/ c\ples seem to be ^? :]e !re is complete or fairly complete t5sion r$uction exp]i5c$ 9 int]c\rse :e!r an orgasm occurs or n4 ,:at are ! ob/acles to happ9ess z f> z sex is conc]n$8 ,t]man f\nd t _m unhappy husb&s compla9$ mo/ frequ5tly ab\t su* ?+s z ^!3 ,wife %[s too little en?usiasm4 ,wife c n regul>ly rea* an orgasm or is sl[ 9 rea*+ x4 ,wife desires int]c\rse too r>ely4 ,wife n physiologically ready = int]c\rse4 ,wife has too little reg>d = ! husb&'s satisfaction4 ,wife does n express en\gh t5d]ness & consid]ation4 ,x 0 f\nd t unhappy wives compla9$ ab\t su* ?+s z ^!3 ,husb& has orgasm too quickly4 ,husb& desires int]c\rse too frequ5tly 7or too r>ely74 ,husb& wants to g to sleep or get up too soon aft] ! climax4 ,husb& %[s too little en?usiasm4 ,husb& does n c>ess affectionately dur+ ! prelim9>y phase4 ,husb& expresses too little t5d]ness4 ,if y wond] ab\t ! importance ( physical love 9 m>riage y might rememb] t v few husb&s & wives are unfai?ful to ea* o!r if _! passions are satisfi$ & if mates are consid]ate ( ea* o!r's ne$s4 ,! ,m>riage ,c\nsel+ ,s]vice at ,p5n ,/ate has n f\nd a s+le case ( sep>ation or divorce among c\ples :o h a*iev$ & ma9ta9$ sexual h>mony s9ce ! e>ly weeks ( _! m>riage4 ,*apt] ,,xx ,gett+ ,(f to a ,good ,/>t ,m>riage is a plunge1 no matt] h[ c>efully x is plann$4 ,! man takes on ! responsibility ( support+ someone besides himself = ! re/ ( 8 life4 ,! girl gives up h] "n1 h] indep5d5ce ( action1 & usually h] c>e]4 ,bo? mates mu/ adju/ !mselves to an entirely new exi/5ce4 ,! patt]n ( w$d$ relation%ip t w p]si/ = ! re/ ( y\r m>ri$ life usually sets dur+ ! fir/ few mon?s4 ,e day y w take fir/ /eps4 ,& ^? /eps are important4 ,y />t liv+ toge!r1 plann+ toge!r & sleep+ toge!r4 ,at a hundr$ po9ts y c make mis/eps t w leave sc>s on y\r relation%ip long aft] ! orig9al incid5ts are =gott54 ,t's :y ! fir/ few mon?s are s important4 ,= a girl1 ! w$d+ day w und\bt$ly be ! bigge/ day %e w exp]i5ce 9 h] life4 ,because ( ?is ! groom %\ld hesitate be=e he disc\rages a *ur* w$d+ or sugge/s t !y be m>ri$ by "s roadside ju/ice ( ! peace4 ,:ile be+ m>ri$ 9 ! *ur* is n necess>y = m>riage happ9ess1 x has be5 f\nd t ^? c\ples :o are s]i\s-m9d$ are m likely to a*ieve happ9ess if _! w$d+ is "u ! auspices ( ! *ur*4 ,!n x is plann$1 x is dignifi$1 & ! v[s--:i* seem to take on add$ mean+ 9 a *ur*--are utt]$ be=e fri5ds & relatives4 ,! bride %\ld h ! privilege ( sett+ ! date ( ! w$d+4 ,9 do+ ?is %e %\ld try to set ! date s t x w foll[ a few days aft] ! m5/rual p]iod has end$4 ,%e does t n only because ( anticipat$ physical intimacies1 b because ! m5/rual p]iod frequ5tly makes a girl irritable & depress$--h>dly ! be/ mood = a honeymoon4 ,9 plann+ ! w$d+ & ! honeymoon x is important to avoid all situations t might produce t5sion & worry1 & especially ! feel+ ( 8hurry+ some:]e40 ,if y c manage a honeymoon1 take x by all means4 ,x doesn't ne$ to involve a long trip or /ay+ at an exp5sive resort4 ,"h are "s sugge/ions on ! site ( ! honeymoon t may be helpful3 ,x %\ld n be sp5t ) fri5ds or relatives4 ,x %\ld be sp5t at a place :]e ! c\ple is n well kn[n4 ,x is bett] to sp5d x 9 ! c\ntry or a small t[n r ?an 9 a bu/l+ metropolis4 ,x %\ld be sp5t :]e !re w be no obligations to att5d social functions or to meet def9ite s*$ules4 ,x %\ld be sp5t :]e bo? w be completely free ( outside responsibilities1 su* z cook+ _! own food s !re w be no limit on ! "t !y c be toge!r4 ,x %\ld be sp5t :]e !re are ?+s to d & activities to enjoy :5ev] !y feel 9 ! mood = su* div]sions4 ,! fir/ adju/m5t fac$ by ! typical m>ri$ c\ple is sexual1 = ! typical c\ple engages 9 sexual int]c\rse on t fir/ night4 ,if !y h discuss$ _! attitudes on sex be=e ! w$d+ !y h pav$ ! way4 ,nev]!less _m c\ples feel self-consci\s on _! honeymoon night4 ,p]haps !y w\ld be ev5 m self-consci\s if !y realiz$ t m>riage happ9ess dur+ _! fir/ few ye>s w dep5d a great deal on a*iev+ a good sexual adju/m5t4 ,(t5 a husb& c make t fir/ night easi] = a wife if he f9ds an err& to p]=m :ile 8 bride is prep>+ to retire4 ,he may ev5 sugge/ to h] t he w be gone = fifte5 or tw5ty m9utes1 :i* w give h] a *ance to be 9 b$ :5 he returns4 ,h[ev] if %e seems eag] = him to rema9 he %\ld d s because %e may be a little fe>ful ( be+ left alone4 ,9 any case x is important t bo? respect ea* o!r's privacy especially c>efully dur+ ! fir/ few weeks4 ,m>riage1 z we say1 is an abrupt /ep & ea* %\ld /rive to ease ! impact ( ! transition z mu* z possible4 ,if ! new husb& is ev] romantic x %\ld be n[6 ,! bride is probably a bit n]v\s ab\t :at is to foll[ & ?is c be l>gely dissipat$ if ! groom is gallant & ende>+ & consid]ate4 ,?is is n only ! dec5t ?+ to d b is s\nd psy*ology4 ,x w build up 9 h] a feel+ ( pride 9 him & a desire to %>e ) him ev]y?+ possible4 ,actual int]c\rse %\ld n be laun*$ on t fir/ night if ! passions ( bo? are n g5u9ely ar\s$4 ,x is important t bo? ! bride & groom be completely agreeable be=e ! fir/ intimacy is exp]i5c$4 ,if ! bride rema9s appreh5sive ab\t x !y %\ld cont5t !mselves ) mild] intimacies & take up ! matt] ano!r night4 ,!y %\ld n feel !re is "s h>d-&-fa/ tradition t !y mu/ h an exp]i5ce t fir/ night4 ,if ! bride is a virg9 & /ill possesses ! imp$im5t ( "o1 bo? %\ld und]/& t "s pa9 w be exp]i5c$ dur+ ! fir/ int]c\rse & nei!r may a*ieve a climax4 ,fur!r1 bo? %\ld und]/& t sexual adju/m5t is le>n$1 n inh]it$4 ,! initial le>n+ may be some:at awkw>d & n too satisfy+4 ,x's n a natural1 spontane\s ?+1 contr>y to ! av]age "y p]son's notions4 ,x is ?is misconception t fright5s _m brides into frigidity :5 !y f9d intimacy doesn't come naturally to !m imm$iately4 ,_m feel t !re mu/ be some?+ wrong ) !mselves :5 !y don't enjoy x f ! />t4 ,b if !y are pati5t & g5tle ) ea* o!r )9 a few weeks !y %\ld s5se ! deep ?rills t lie 9 /ore = !m4 ,& )9 six mon?s at mo/1 !y %\ld h a*iev$ a gr& & satisfy+ relation%ip4 ,if !y are to a*ieve any?+ beyond animali/ic excitem5t1 ! aim ( bo? ! man & girl %\ld be n to receive satisfaction b to give satisfaction4 ,x is ?is consid]at5ess t makes ! act sublime & enri*+4 ,x welds !m into a /rong union4 ,z ! honeymoon progresses1 some?+ usually happ5s t[>d ! end t jolts ! c\ple back to reality4 ,= ! fir/ "t1 p]haps unconsci\sly1 ! groom />ts act+ l a husb& or ! bride l a wife4 ,usually x is ! groom4 ,p]haps he =gets to kiss 8 bride :5 he leaves h] = a few h\rs4 ,p]haps %e cat*es him ?9k+ ( some?+ else :ile %e is confid+ h] love4 ,or p]haps he j refuses to get up & look at ! gorge\s sunrise t is ?rill+ h]4 ,?is little 8baptism0 comes soon] or lat] & brides %\ld prep>e !mselves = x4 ,x signifies t ! honeymoon is j ab\t ov] & t !y are return+ to ! day-to-day job ( liv+ toge!r z two human be+s4 ,! bride may feel let d[n or he>tsick4 ,%e may ev5 cry a little or fl>e up & upbraid him4 ,or worse %e may retreat into h] %ell4 ,if %e fails to h&le ! incid5t calmly & reta9 h] s5se ( proportion %e may develop an attitude t w get !m (f to a bad />t4 ,z !y get d[n to ! day-to-day job ( adju/+ !mselves to m>ri$ life ! wife w f9d t ! major burd5 ( ! adju/+ falls on h]4 ,t is because ! woman normally mu/ re>range h] life1 ^u m>riage1 m ?an ! man1 despite ! fact t !y are p>tn]s4 ,= example3 ,he /ays 9 ! same community :]eas %e (t5 mu/ leave h]s1 & h] fri5ds1 to live ) him4 ,he keeps 8 "n :]eas %e drops h]s to take 81 ) a 8,mrs40 9 front ( x4 ,he keeps 8 job :]eas %e usually quits h]s to le>n an entirely new occupation--homemak+4 ,he cont9ues to make 8 own money :]eas %e becomes dep5d5t ^u him ev5 = sp5d+ money4 ,he lives ! role ( husb& an h\r 9 ! morn+ & a few h\rs 9 ! ev5+ :]eas %e sp5ds fifte5 h\rs a day function+ z a wife4 ,he cont9ues sp5d+ ! greate/ "p ( 8 en]gy try+ to please 8 boss1 :]eas %e />ts devot+ h] en]gy to w9n+ h] husb&'s approval--approval = ! way %e cooks1 dresses1 runs ! home1 takes c>e ( ! *ildr51 if !y h !m4 ,normally ! wife sp5ds at lea/ eighty p] c5t ( ! husb&'s income on su* ?+s z ^! & naturally is anxi\s to conv9ce him %e is us+ 8 money wisely4 ,:at adju/m5ts mu/ two p make 9 _! attitude t[>d ea* o!r 9 ord] to live toge!r happily8 ,if y 7 to accept ! ^w ( c]ta9 newspap] 8exp]ts0 on love & m>riage1 y might get ! impression t all ! new husb& ne$ d to make 8 wife happy is n to smoke 9 b$1 to pick up 8 own clo!s1 & to wa% (f ! ba?tub r+4 ,likewise x w\ld seem t all ! new wife has to d is remove h] lip/ick be=e retir+ & avoid talk+ to him be=e he has _h 8 breakfa/4 ,m>riage w\ld be simple if ^? sorts ( ?+s 7 ! ess5tials ( m>riage adju/m5t4 ,actually ! ess5tials are mu* m basic4 ,= two p to live toge!r successfully z husb& & wife !y mu/ be able to und]/& ea* o!r z only true companions c4 ,!y mu/ recognize ! ne$s ( ea* o!r & be will+ to cop]ate to satisfy !m4 ,p]haps ! girl is easily upset emotionally & ne$s h] husb&'s calm disposition to /eady h]4 ,or p]haps he has feel+s ( inf]iority :i* %e c (fset by build+ up 8 ego4 ,& !y mu/ be able to face ! facts :5 diff]5ces arise 7z ov] money71 & be able to "w out amicable solutions toge!r4 ,mates :o hav5't le>n$ to compromise diff]5ces face a /ormy future4 ,if y want y\r mate to be eag] to please y in/ead ( ignor+ or defy+ y1 le>n to condition him by rew>d+ him ) praise & c>esses4 ,:5 ! husb& does some?+ t displeases a wife %e mu/ nev] rew>d him4 ,likewise1 = example1 if ! wife wants a new dress :i* is too exp5sive & ! husb& tries to make x cle> to h] t he _c af=d x1 & %e has a temp] tantrum1 he %\ld n give 9 & buy ! dress4 ,9 ?is case1 ! husb& w\ld rew>d h] temp] tantrum4 ,let ?is happ5 two or ?ree times & !reaft] %e w use a tantrum to get ! ?+s %e wants f him4 ,%e kn[s he hates su* sc5es & w give 94 ,x w be mu* bett] psy*ologically if ! mu*-desir$ dress c be giv5 to h] z a rew>d = some?+ nice %e has done4 ,:ile a husb& or wife wants to feel t ?+s are done out ( love & = love only1 ! fact rema9s t love cont9ues only if x is n\ri%$4 ,if a husb& sn>ls at 8 wife1 nev] gives h] a k9d ^w1 nev] rew>ds h] & is always condemn+ or puni%+ h]1 ! day w come :5 %e w absolutely despise him4 ,!re is su* a ?+ z dea?less love1 b x exi/s only :5 x has a firm f\ndation ( consid]at5ess betwe5 ! two4 ,ano!r ?+ newly-w$s %\ld le>n is ! importance ( t5sion r$uction4 ,! husb& may come home f ! (fice & la% out at ! wife because supp] is a little late4 ,:at has happ5$1 probably1 is t he _h "s disagreeable exp]i5ce at 8 "w b _h to keep 8 temp] "u *eck !re4 ,he comes home see?+ & explodes at ! fir/ provocation4 ,! "y wife may retreat to h] room cry+ unless %e s5ses ! real reason = 8 ang]4 ,in/ead %e %\ld recognize t he is ti$ up 9 n]v\s knots1 take 8 outbur/ philosophically & try to r$uce ! t5sion by c>ess+ him1 by talk+ *e]fully & complim5t+ him on some?+ nice or laudable he has done4 ,by s do+1 %e br+s pleasantness aft] unpleasantness & ?us enc\rages him to br+ 8 tr\bles to h] r ?an to 8 male cronies or to "s o!r woman4 ,m>ri$ c\ples %\ld also und]/& ! importance ( climactic sexual relations z a means ( r$uc+ t5sion4 ,ano!r psy*ological habit t %\ld be helpful to newly-w$s is ! use ( indirect me?ods to get :at !y want4 ,y w h a happi]1 m loyal mate if y c get him to d ?+s y want by mak+ sugge/ions r ?an dem&s4 ,if ! lawn ne$s m[+ j m5tion h[ ragg$ ! grass is gett+4 ,usually he w !n m[ x on 8 own initiative4 ,on ! practical side1 x is v helpful if ! two c "w out "s plan = h&l+ ! income dur+ ! e>ly weeks ( m>riage s t !y c see j :]e ! money goes4 ,a simplifi$ b =mal budget is helpful "h4 ,fur!r1 x is vital t ! wife quickly acquire skill 9 manag+ ! home s t ! husb& w be initiat$ pleasantly into ! role ( be+ a home-body4 ,a messy home frequ5tly produces irritations :i* disrupt cordial relations betwe5 ! two mates4 ,! new wife %\ld plan h] h\sework s t ! tasks fit into a patt]n & are tak5 c>e ( 9 ord] & at specific times4 ,= example1 ,monday may be 8wa% day02 ,tuesday1 ,?ursday & ,saturday may be 8%opp+ days02 ,w$nesday may be 8iron+ day02 ,saturday morn+ may be bak+ day4 ,?is really am\nts to a budget ( h] "t & h] "w4 ,if !y are to five happily ev] aft] x is important t ! wife "k h] husb&'s food likes & dislikes4 ,! importance ( food to m>riage success is frequ5tly misund]/ood by newly-w$s1 & highly und]rat$4 ,a l>ge portion ( ! husb&s :o take _! tr\bles to ! ,p5n ,/ate m>riage cl9ic disclose soon] or lat] t _! wives are poor cooks or s]ve !m late1 slapp$-toge!r meals4 ,:5 a husb& comes home tir$ & h>ass$ f 8 day's "w1 no?+ w re/ore him to a g5ial mood z mu* z 8 favorite di%es ( food1 exp]tly prep>$ & s]v$ soon aft] he arrives4 ,dur+ ! fir/ few weeks ( m>ri$ life ! wife %\ld make an ef=t to le>n some?+ ab\t h] husb&'s food likes & dislikes4 ,"s ( ?is %\ld already h be5 ga!r$ by obs]vation dur+ c\rt%ip & ! honeymoon by not+ ! foods t he *ose 9 a re/aurant4 ,simply kn[+ ! husb&'s favorite di%es is n en\gh4 ,! new husb& may n ?r[ ! fir/ bat* ( burn$ biscuits at 8 wife1 b if ! next bat* is burn$ too he is apt at lea/ to ?r[ "s cau/ic comm5ts4 ,soon aft] ! honeymoon !re w come a "t :5 "o or bo? ( ! mates may no long] be satisfi$ j to be ) ea* o!r4 ,!y w become m indep5d5t ( ea* o!r unless dur+ ! fir/ few mon?s ( m>riage !y h explor$ ea* o!r's int]e/s & f\nd ?+s !y c d toge!r4 ,if he is to become any?+ m ?an ! provid] & %e any?+ m ?an ! h\sekeep]1 !y mu/ e/abli% a s\nd basis = companion%ip4 ,h[ c ?is be done8 ,! ess5tials ( human companion%ip are pretty univ]sal = any two p :e!r !y are mates or j close fri5ds4 ,comrades mo/ frequ5tly h ^! ?+s 9 common3 ,!y enjoy talk+ to ea* o!r4 ,mates %\ld n feel !y h completely succe$$ z p>tn]s until ea* reg>ds ! o!r z ! "o p]son he or %e c unburd5 himself to ab\t any?+ t is on 8 m9d4 ,ea* c help develop a /rong feel+ ( 8conv]sational companion%ip0 9 _! union by be+ a ready & sympa!tic li/5] to ! ?\ghts t are upp]mo/ 9 ! o!r's m9d4 ,bo? %\ld realize t a woman's int]e/s naturally are diff]5t f a man's4 ,aft] _! own imm$iate preoccupations ( ! day1 a woman's int]e/s t5d m t[>d clo!s1 decorations & amusem5ts :]eas ! man is m int]e/$ 9 money1 _w affairs & sports4 ,a good middle gr\nd is _! mutual int]e/s & hobbies & ! activities ( _! mutual acqua9tances4 ,companions enjoy do+ ?+s toge!r4 ,"o ( ! fir/ ?+s newly-w$s %\ld inve/igate1 if !y hav5't already1 are ! ?+s !y c d peaceably & enjoyably toge!r4 ,p]haps bo? get a great deal ( pleasure f li/5+ to e>ly jazz record+s1 or ski+1 or m]ely play+ *ess or be+ toge!r e night & say+ v little4 ,visit+ fri5ds c be fun :]e ! two husb&s are cong5ial & ! two wives are fond ( ea* o!r4 ,"o ( ! sad ?+s ab\t m>riage is t a bride's be/ fri5d m>ries a man :om h] husb& c't /&2 or ! man's old roommate m>ries a flighty1 affect$ girl ! wife c't /&4 ,su* antagonisms %\ld be s5s$ & ! bride & groom %\ld 9 su* cases try to get toge!r ) _! old fri5ds on an individual r ?an a family basis4 ,companions respect ea* o!r's op9ions & abilities4 ,! %rewd wife keeps up ) ! _w s t h] husb& w respect h] z an individual 9 h] own "r4 ,wives t become completely dep5d5t on _! husb&s1 & cl+ to !m because !y h no o!r int]e/1 frequ5tly lose ! respect ( _! husb&4 ,x helps if !y are seek+ a common goal4 ,"o ( ! v be/ ways !re is = a c\ple to develop a /rong basis = companion%ip is to h common aspirations :i* bo? believe 9 & talk ab\t en?usia/ically4 ,?is means %>+ 9 a long-range project4 ,!y map _! plans toge!r & c>ry !m ?r\gh4 ,!y %>e triumphs & disappo9tm5ts4 ,!y may build or remodel a home = !mselves4 ,9 ! process ( plann+1 wait+ & dream+ toge!r !y become comrades = life4 ,:ile x may be argu$ t build+ or buy+ a home is m exp5sive 9 ! long run ?an r5t+1 no?+ gives a c\ple a great] feel+ ( solid>ity ?an home own]%ip1 especially :5 !y plan toge!r 9 build+1 remodel+ or furni%+ x4 ,ev5 sav+ money c be a common goal t w develop companion%ip1 especially if ! c\ple are sav+ ! money = some?+ !y bo? want badly su* z a c> or a long-dream$-( vacation trip4 ,9 g5]al a "y c\ple e>n+ betwe5 eighte5 hundr$ & ?ree ?\s& doll>s a ye> c well aim to save at lea/ five p] c5t & bett] /ill t5 p] c5t ( ! income4 ,if !y /rive = a p]c5tage mu* high] ?an t !y may f9d x entails too great a d5ial4 ,simil>ly ! goal ( a c\ple may be to raise a l>ge happy family4 ,!y plan ! arrival ( _! *ildr5 &1 work+ z a team1 guide ! gr[? & developm5t ( ea* *ild4 ,aft] ,?\ghts ,by n[ we hope we h help$ y cl>ify 9 y\r m9d ! k9d ( mate y want--& ne$4 ,we h rais$ a good _m ?\ghts y %\ld be> 9 m9d 9 select+ y\r mate4 ,x is d\btful t y--or anyone--w f9d a mate :o fits lett] p]fect into all ! qualifications we h m5tion$ 9 ! c\rse ( ! book z desirable 9 mates1 b t is n important4 ,:at is important is t y\r mate %\ld fit into ! g5]al patt]n ( ! k9d ( p]son y ne$1 & %\ld be free f ! really s]i\s %ort-com+s we h m5tion$4 ,p]haps ! mo/ important s+le ?\ght we c leave ) y is t ! p]son y m>ry %\ld be "o :o w give y a s5se ( well-be+4 ,m>riage to ?is p]son %\ld end y\r vague feel+s ( re/lessness4 ,we "k a "y m>ri$ c\ple :o h 8ev]y?+40 ,!y live 9 a well-to-d suburb1 belong to a c\ntry club & are n 8ti$ d[n0 by *ildr54 ,!y g to _m p>ties & on week-end excursions & eat out :5ev] !y feel l x4 ,yet !y g ab\t _! ru% ( activities ) ! bor$ futility ( a dog *as+ 8 own tail4 ,& we "k ano!r c\ple :o are ! k9d "s p w\ld feel sorry =4 ,!y h f\r :oop+ y\ng/]s t virtually p9 !m to ! home/ead & make outside social life impossible4 ,!y mu/ fight a con/ant battle ) liv+ co/s to get ahead f9ancially4 ,dur+ mo/ ( _! free mom5ts !y mu/ "w ab\t _! h\se1 uphol/]+ furniture1 fix+ leak+ faucets or hang+ /orm w9d[s4 ,yet ^! two mates are imm5sely happy 9 m>riage4 ,!y h a s5se ( purpose 9 life--a s5se ( well-be+4 ,!y are s glad !y are m>ri$ to ea* o!r t !y c %rug (f ! _m irritations t beset !m z unimportant4 ,bo? ( !m w\ld confide to y t m>riage is a wond]ful1 enri*+ exp]i5ce4 ,app5dix ,a ,books ,y ,may ,wi% to ,read ,i4 ,,adju/m5t ,,( ,,! ,,vet]an 7,9 & aft] w>74 #a4 ,,anon41 ,psy*ology = ! ,fight+ ,man4 ,wa%+ton3 ,infantry ,j\rnal1 #aidc4 #b4 ,,bor+1 ,,edw9 ,g4 7editor71 ,psy*ology = ! ,arm$ ,s]vices4 ,wa%+ton3 ,infantry ,j\rnal1 #aide4 #c4 ,,*ild1 ,,irv9 ,l41 & ,,van ,,de ,,wat]1 ,,m>jorie 7editors71 ,psy*ology = ! ,return+ ,s]viceman4 ,wa%+ton3 ,infantry ,j\rnal1 #aide4 #d4 ,,pratt1 ,,george ,k41 ,soldi] to ,civilian4 ,new ,york3 ,:ittlesey ,h\se4 ,mc,graw-,hill1 #aidd4 #e4 ,,r$mond1 ,,ca!r9e1 ,h&book = ,army ,wives & ,mo!rs4 ,wa%+ton3 ,infantry ,j\rnal1 #aidd4 #f4 ,,/ev5son1 ,,eleanor1 & ,,m>t91 ,,pete1 ,i ,knew ,y\r ,soldi]4 ,wa%+ton3 ,infantry ,j\rnal1 #aide4 ,,ii4 ,,basic ,,rese>* ,,9 ,,m>riage 7,te*nical rese>* /udies74 #a4 ,,burgess1 ,e4 ,w41 & ,,cottrell1 ,l4 ,s41 ,pr$ict+ ,success or ,failure 9 ,m>riage4 ,new ,york3 ,pr5tice-,hall1 #aici4 #b4 ,,davis1 ,,ka?>9e ,b41 ,factors 9 ! ,sex ,life ( ,tw5ty-two ,hundr$ ,wom54 ,new ,york3 ,h>p] & ,bro!rs1 #aibi4 #c4 ,,dick9son1 ,r4 ,l41 & ,,beam1 ,,lura1 ,a ,?\s& ,m>riages4 ,baltimore3 ,williams & ,wilk9s1 #aica4 #d4 ,,hamilton1 ,g4 ,v41 ,a ,rese>* 9 ,m>riage4 ,new ,york3 ,alb]t & ,*>les ,boni1 #aibi4 #e4 ,,t]man1 ,,lewis ,m41 ,psy*ological ,factors 9 ,m>ital ,happ9ess4 ,new ,york3 ,mc,graw-,hill1 #aich4 ,,iii4 ,,contraception ,,& ,,family ,,spac+ 7,bir? control74 #a4 ,,coop]1 ,,james ,f41 ,te*nique ( ,contraception4 ,new ,york3 ,day-,ni*ols1 #aibh4 #b4 ,,dick9son1 ,,rob]t ,l41 ,control ( ,conception4 #bnd edition4 ,baltimore3 ,williams & ,wilk9s1 #aich4 #c4 ,,latz1 ,,leo ,j41 ,! ,rhy?m ( ,/]ility & ,f]tility 9 ,wom54 #e? edition4 ,*icago3 ,latz ,f\ndation1 #aice4 7,recomm5d$ to ,ca?olics47 #d4 ,,welton1 ,t4 ,s41 ,mod]n ,me?od ( ,bir? ,control4 ,new ,york3 ,walk] ,j4 ,black1 #aice4 ,,iv4 ,,family ,,& ,,m>riage ,,problems4 #a4 ,,bab]1 ,r4 ,e41 ,m>riage & ! ,family4 ,new ,york3 ,mc,graw-,hill ,book ,co41 #aici4 #b4 ,,drummond1 ,,laura ,w41 ,y\? & ,in/ruction 9 ,m>riage & ,family ,liv+4 ,new ,york3 ,tea*]s ,college1 ,columbia ,univ]sity1 #aidb4 #c4 ,,gold/e91 ,,sidney ,e41 ,m>riage & ,family ,c\nsel+4 ,new ,york3 ,mc,graw-,hill1 #aide4 #d4 ,,groves1 ,,erne/ ,r41 ,cons]v+ ,m>riage & ! ,family4 ,new ,york3 ,macmillan1 #aidd4 #e4 ,,groves1 ,,gladys ,,hoagl&1 ,m>riage & ,family ,life4 ,new ,york3 ,h\ghton ,miffl91 #aidb4 #f4 ,,hill1 ,,reub51 & ,,beck]1 ,,h[>d 7editors71 ,m>riage & ! ,family4 ,bo/on3 ,d4 ,c4 ,hea?1 #aidb4 #g4 ,,m[r]1 ,h4 ,r41 ,p]sonality ,adju/m5t & ,dome/ic ,discord4 ,new ,york3 ,am]ican1 #aice4 #h4 ,,nimk(f1 ,m4 ,f41 ,! ,family4 ,new ,york3 ,h\ghton ,miffl91 #aicd4 #i4 ,,burgess1 ,,erne/ ,w4 & ,,locke1 ,,h>vey ,j41 ,! ,family4 ,new ,york3 ,am]ican ,book ,company1 #aide4 ,v4 ,,gett+ ,,along ,,) ,,p 7,improv+ p]sonality74 #a4 ,,laird1 ,,donald ,a41 & ,,laird1 ,,eleanor ,c41 ,! ,te*nique ( ,h&l+ ,p4 ,new ,york3 ,mc,graw-,hill1 #aidc4 #b4 ,,lockh>t1 ,,e>l ,g41 ,improv+ ,y\r ,p]sonality4 ,*icago3 ,walton ,publi%+ ,co41 #aici4 #c4 ,,morgan1 ,,john ,b41 & ,,webb1 ,,ew+ ,t41 ,mak+ ! ,mo/ ( ,y\r ,life4 ,g>d5 ,city1 #aicb4 #d4 ,,my]s1 ,,g>ry ,c41 ,! ,mod]n ,p>5t4 ,new ,york3 ,gre5b]g1 #aicj4 #e4 ,,newton1 ,,roy1 ,h[ to ,improve ,y\r ,p]sonality4 ,new ,york3 ,mc,graw-,hill1 #aidb4 #f4 ,,webb1 ,e4 ,t41 & ,,morgan1 ,,john ,j4 ,b41 ,/rategy 9 ,h&l+ ,p4 ,*icago3 ,b\lton ,pi]ce1 #aicj4 #g4 ,,:ite1 ,,w5dell1 ,! ,psy*ology ( ,deal+ ) ,p4 ,revis$4 ,new ,york3 ,macmillan1 #aida4 ,,vi4 ,,int]pretation ,,( ,,m>riage ,,/udies 7,n too te*nical74 #a4 ,,hamilton1 ,g4 ,v41 & ,,macg[an1 ,,k5ne?1 ,:at ,is ,wrong ) ,m>riage4 ,new ,york3 ,alb]t & ,*>les ,boni1 ,inc41 #aibi4 7,?is is a popul> treatm5t ( ,,hamilton',s ,a ,rese>* 9 ,m>riage47 #b4 ,,h>t1 ,,hornell1 & ,,h>t1 ,,ella ,b41 ,p]sonality & ! ,family4 ,new ,york3 ,d4 ,c4 ,hea?1 #aida4 ,,vii4 ,,maladju/m5t ,,& ,,neuroticism 7,m5tal hygi5e74 #a4 ,,cr[1 ,,le/] ,d41 & ,,cr[1 ,,alice1 ,m5tal ,hygi5e 9 ,s*ool & ,home ,life4 ,new ,york3 ,mc,graw-,hill1 #aidb4 #b4 ,,f9k1 ,,david ,h41 ,release f ,n]v\s ,t5sion4 ,new ,york3 ,simon & ,s*u/]1 #aidc4 #c4 ,,l\ttit1 ,c4 ,m41 ,cl9ical ,psy*ology4 ,new ,york3 ,h>p] & ,bro!rs1 #aicf4 #d4 ,,%aff]1 ,,laurance ,f41 ,! ,psy*ology ( ,adju/m5t4 ,new ,york3 ,h\ghton ,miffl91 #aicf4 #e4 ,,solomon1 ,,h>ry ,c41 & ,,yakovlev1 ,,paul ,i4 7editors71 ,manual ( ,milit>y ,neuropsy*iatry4 ,philadelphia3 ,w4 ,b4 ,saund]s1 #aidd4 ,,viii4 ,,prep>+ ,,= ,,m>riage 7,easy to read & popul>74 #a4 ,,b[man1 ,,h5ry ,a41 ,m>riage = ,mod]ns4 ,new ,york3 ,mc,graw-,hill1 #aidb4 #b4 ,,folsom1 ,,joseph ,k41 ,plan = ,m>riage4 ,new ,york3 ,h>p] & ,bro!rs1 #aich4 #c4 ,,fo/]1 ,,rob]t ,g41 ,m>riage & ,family ,relation%ips4 ,new ,york3 ,macmillan ,company1 #aidd4 #d4 ,,groves1 ,,erne/ ,r41 ,m>riage4 ,new ,york3 ,h5ry ,holt1 #aida4 #e4 ,,himes1 ,,norman ,e41 ,y\r ,m>riage4 ,new ,york3 ,f>r> & ,r9eh>t1 #aidj4 #f4 ,,jordan1 ,,hel5 ,,m\gey1 ,y & ,m>riage4 ,new ,york3 ,john ,wiley & ,sons1 #aidb4 #g4 ,,jung1 ,,moses 7editor71 ,mod]n ,m>riage4 ,new ,york3 ,f4 ,s4 ,cr(ts & ,co41 #aidj4 #h4 ,,nelson1 ,,janet ,,f[l]1 ,m>riages ,are ,n ,made 9 ,heav54 ,new ,york3 ,woman's ,press1 #aici4 #i4 ,,pop5oe1 ,,paul1 ,m>riage ,be=e & ,aft]4 ,new ,york3 ,wilfr$ ,funk1 #aidc4 #aj4 ,,pop5oe1 ,,paul1 ,mod]n ,m>riage4 ,new ,york3 ,! ,macmillan ,co41 #aidj4 #aa4 ,,duvall1 ,,evelyn ,m4 & ,,hill1 ,,reub51 ,:5 ,y ,m>ry4 ,bo/on3 ,d4 ,c4 ,hea? & ,company1 #aide4 ,,ix4 ,,sexual ,,adju/m5t 7,inception1 developm5t1 guidance74 #a4 ,,butt]field1 ,,oliv]1 ,m>riage & ,sexual ,h>mony4 ,new ,york3 ,em]son ,books1 #aich4 #b4 ,,deuts*1 ,,hel5e1 ,! ,psy*ology ( ,wom54 ,new ,york3 ,grune & ,/ratton1 #aidd4 #c4 ,,dick9son1 ,r4 ,l41 & ,,beam1 ,,lura1 ,! ,s+le ,woman4 ,baltimore3 ,williams & ,wilk9s1 #aicd4 #d4 ,,haire1 ,,norman 7editor71 ,encyclop$ia ( ,sexual ,k4 ,new ,york3 ,eug5ics1 #aidj4 #e4 ,,novak1 ,,emil1 ,! ,woman ,asks ! ,doctor4 ,baltimore3 ,williams & ,wilk9s1 #aicg4 #f4 ,,/one1 ,,abraham1 & ,,/one1 ,,hannah ,m41 ,a ,m>riage ,manual4 ,revis$ edition4 ,new ,york3 ,simon & ,s*u/]1 #aici4 #g4 ,,van ,,de ,,velde1 ,t4 ,h41 ,ideal ,m>riage4 ,new ,york3 ,r&om ,h\se1 #aicj4 #h4 ,,walk]1 ,,k5ne?1 & ,,/rauss1 ,,eric ,b41 ,sexual ,disord]s 9 ! ,male4 ,baltimore3 ,williams & ,wilk9s1 #aida4 #i4 ,,wright1 ,,hel5a1 ,sex ,factor 9 ,m>riage4 ,revis$ edition4 ,new ,york3 ,vangu>d ,press1 #aicg4 ,x4 ,,sexual ,,anatomy 7,illu/rat$ h& atlas74 #a4 ,,dick9son1 ,r4 ,l41 ,human ,sex ,anatomy4 ,baltimore3 ,williams & ,wilk9s1 #aicc4 ,,xi4 ,,sexual ,,rese>* 7,te*nical /udies74 #a4 ,,l&is1 ,,c>ney1 & ,,boll]1 ,m4 ,,m>jorie1 ,p]sonality & ,sexuality ( ! ,physically ,h&icapp$ ,woman4 ,new ,york3 ,paul ,b4 ,hoeb]1 ,inc41 #aidb4 #b4 ,,l&is1 ,,c>ney et als41 ,sex 9 ,developm5t4 ,new ,york3 ,paul ,b4 ,hoeb]1 ,inc41 #aidj4 #c4 ,,t]man1 ,l4 ,m41 & ,,miles1 ,c41 ,sex & ,p]sonality4 ,new ,york3 ,mc,graw-,hill ,book ,co41 #aicg4 ,,xii4 ,,symposium ,,on ,,w> ,,m>riage ,,& ,,its ,,problems 7,in/itute addresses on 8,prep>+ = ,m>riage10 8,c\nsel+ ,m>ri$ ,c\ples10 & 8,pres]v+ ! ,family074 #a4 ,,adams1 ,,clif=d ,r41 & ,,k]r1 ,,james ,a4 7editors71 ,proce$+s ( ! ,annual ,in/itute on ,m>riage & ,home ,adju/m5t4 ,/ate ,college3 ,! ,p5nsylvania ,/ate ,college1 #aidd4 ,app5dix ,b ,m>riage ,c\nsel+ ,ag5cies ,! ,am]ican ,association ( ,m>riage ,c\nselors 7,*airman1 ,le/] ,w4 ,de>born1 #caf ,hunt+ton ,av5ue1 ,bo/on1 & ,secret>y1 ,rob]t ,w4 ,laidlaw1 ,m4,d41 #efc ,p>k ,av5ue1 ,new ,york7 is a pr(essional organization ( qualifi$ e?ical m>riage c\nselors4 ,by writ+ ei!r ! *airman or ! secret>y1 ! "n & address ( a capable c\nselor 9 y\r vic9ity may be obta9$4 ,o!r m>riage c\nselors 7or ag5cies7 9 colleges or univ]sities are li/$ bel[1 "s ( :om are affiliat$ ) ! ,am]ican ,association ( ,m>riage ,c\nselors4 ,alabama3 ,univ]sity ( ,alabama1 ,dr4 ,paul9e ,p>k ,wilson ,cali=nia3 ,univ]sity ( ,cali=nia 7,b]keley71 ,dr4 ,noel ,keys ,indiana3 ,&]son ,college1 ,dr4 ,c>l ,k>datzke ,i[a3 ,i[a ,/ate ,college1 ,dr4 ,reub5 ,hill ,massa*usetts3 ,mt4 ,holyoke1 ,dr4 ,manfr$ ,h4 ,kuhn ,mi*igan3 ,m]rill-,palm] ,s*ool 7,detroit71 ,dr4 ,rob]t ,g4 ,fo/] ,miss\ri3 ,/eph5s ,college1 ,dr4 ,h5ry ,a4 ,b[man ,nor? ,c>ol9a3 ,univ]sity ( ,nor? ,c>ol9a1 ,dr4 ,erne/ ,r4 ,groves & ,mrs4 ,gladys ,h4 ,groves ,oregon3 ,univ]sity ( ,oregon1 ,dr4 ,lawr5ce ,s4 ,bee ,p5nsylvania3 ,p5nsylvania ,/ate ,college1 ,dr4 ,clif=d ,r4 ,adams ,two nationally kn[n reputable m>riage c\nsel+ s]vices are3 ,cali=nia 7,los ,angeles71 ,am]ican ,in/itute ( ,m>riage ,relations1 ,dr4 ,paul ,pop5oe1 ,director ,p5nsylvania 7,philadelphia71 ,m>riage ,c\nsel ( ,philadelphia1 ,mrs4 ,emily ,h4 ,mudd1 ,director ,index ,adams-,lepley ,p]sonnel ,audit1 #ajj-aje ,adju/m5t1 to m>ri$ life1 #aih ,adolesc5ce1 #dj ,age & m>riage1 ,emotional1 #dj-da ,evid5ce ( emotional immaturity1 #da-db ,m5tal1 #ci ,physiological1 #ch ,sexual1 #ci ,vocational1 #ci ,alcohol & m>riage1 #aei ,alibi arti/s1 #aej ,ar\sal /age1 #aia ,assortative mat+1 #bh ,ba*elors1 p]c5tage (1 #ae ,beauty1 #hi1 #id-ie ,b[man1 ,dr4 ,h5ry1 #dh ,*ildr51 z values1 #bb ,coitus1 #aia ,compla9ts ( husb&s & wives1 #ii ,contraceptives1 #aia ,dat+1 #dj ,disord]ly mates1 #aeb ,divorce1 #ae ,rate (1 #bf-bg ,emotional maturity1 #da-dc ,emotions1 te/1 #gb-gc ,engagem5t1 #ahc ,purpose1 #ahd ,reveal+ y\r pa/ dur+1 #ahg ,role ( sex dur+1 #ahf ,erog5\s zones1 #eh ,escapi/s1 #aea ,feti%ism1 #ga ,fir/ night ( m>riage1 #aif-aig ,flirts1 #aec ,frigidity1 #ee1 #ef1 #fg ,guil=d-,m>t9 ,p]sonnel ,inv5tory1 #ajj ,ha/y m>riages1 #ahe ,home mak+ & m>riage1 #afe-aff ,homosexuality1 #gj ,honeymoon1 #aif-aih ,husb&s1 happy & unhappy1 #ih ,hym51 #aia ,infatuation1 *>act]i/ics (1 #dh ,inf]iority complex1 #ij ,9-law complications1 #aeb-aec ,jeal\s mates1 #adf ,jeal\sy1 te/1 #aed-aee ,jobs & m>riage happ9ess1 #afg-afh ,pre/ige (1 #afg ,lang1 ,ri*>d ,o41 #afg ,law-abid+ husb&s1 #aeh ,life's problems1 #bb ,love1 ,ability =1 #ea-eb ,at fir/ sight1 #di ,conditions necess>y =1 #ej ,def9$1 #dg-ej ,sex &1 #ee ,te/ ( love1 #ec-ed ,m>riage1 ,basic ne$s fill$ by1 #ie-ig ,be/ age =1 #be1 #ch1 #dc ,*ances (1 #bc ,common goals 91 #bjc ,companion%ip &1 #ba ,crucial traits = happ9ess 91 #ii ,cu/oms1 #ae ,diff]5ces &1 #adj-ade ,effects ( w> on1 #be-bf ,expectancy ( happ9ess 91 te/1 #cg ,mix$1 #aci ,mix$ p]sonalities1 #adj-ada ,mixtures to bew>e 91 #ada-ade ,qualifications1 #aef-afd ,pr$iction ( happ9ess scale1 #ajj ,prospects =1 #af ,psy*ological b>ri]s1 #af-ah ,reasons aga9/1 #ae-ah ,reasons =1 #ai-bj ,/abiliz+ influ5ce (1 #ba ,sugge/ions = m>ital happ9ess1 #acc-acf ,mate-mat*+1 #abd-abf ,te/ = c\ples1 #acg ,mates1 ,acceptable1 #bg-bh ,backgr\nd (1 #cj ,city ,c5sus table1 #cd ,critical1 #adi ,desirable1 #ajd-aje ,education (1 #bi ,f9ancial /atus (1 #bi ,geography favorable =1 #ca ,job (1 #cj ,mak+ ov]1 #adg-adh ,range ( eligibility1 #bh-ca ,%ortage (1 #be ,/ate age ,c5sus table1 #cb-cc ,mat+1 problems ( selection1 #da-dd ,problems ( selection1 #ia-id ,traits want$1 #hg-hi ,meet+ p ( ! opposite sex1 #hc-he ,m5/ruation1 #eh ,mismat+1 cause (1 #bf ,neck+1 #fe ,n]v\s mates1 #adh ,neurosis1 te/ (1 #afc-afd ,ob/acles to sexual happ9ess1 #aid ,orgasm1 p]c5tage exp]i5c+1 #fd1 #aib-aic ,p$ophilia1 #ga ,p5n ,/ate ,c\nsel+ ,s]vice1 #adg-bja ,p]sonality te/1 #ha1 #hb ,pett+1 #fe1 #fg-fi ,exploitive1 #fh ,sett+ limits1 #ga ,physical h&icaps1 #ag ,physical heal?1 #fd1 #aeh ,ne$ = physical exam9ation1 #afb-afc ,popul>ity ) opposite sex1 #ge-hj ,sugge/ions = girls1 #ha ,p[]s1 ,john1 #hi ,pregnancy1 #aia ,prem>ital sexual relations1 #fc ,argum5ts = & aga9/1 #fe-fg ,p]c5tage (1 #fc ,reasons = increase1 #fd ,previ\s divorce1 #afa ,promiscuity1 #fg-fh ,psy*oneurosis1 #aeh-afj1 #ahj-aha ,pyle1 ,ernie1 #age ,relatives1 cl++1 #aeb ,responsibility 9 m>riage1 #aei ,sadism1 #ga ,self-confid5ce1 importance (1 #ij ,s]vices1 ,c\nsel+1 #aef ,sex1 ,abnormal outlets1 #gj-ga ,desire & its orig91 #ee-ef ,developm5t1 #ef-eg ,importance (1 #ahi-aij ,maladju/m5t1 #ef-eg ,peak ( sexual vigor1 #fe ,release f t5sions1 #fi-gj ,repressions unle>n$1 #fj-fa ,t5sions1 #fh ,?ree phases ( sexual exp]i5ce1 #aia-aib ,sexual adju/m5t1 #aij ,t5sion r$uction1 #bjj ,t]man1 ,dr4 ,l4 ,m41 #fc1 #ih-ajj1 #aic ,vet]ans1 ,desire = m>riage1 #ba ,precautions to consid]1 #ahj ,subconsci\s conflicts1 #age ,traits ga9$ by w> exp]i5ce1 #agd ,w> injuries1 #agh-agi ,vocational tr\ble mak]s1 #afh-agc ,voyeurism1 #gj ,w$d+1 #aie ,wives1 happy & unhappy1 #ih ,,transcrib]',s ,,note ,italic text is d5ot$ by und]scores4 ,bold text is d5ot$ by equal signs4 ,obvi\s typographical errors & punctuation errors h be5 correct$ aft] c>eful comp>ison ) o!r occurr5ces )9 ! text & consultation ( ext]nal s\rces4 ,except = ^? *anges not$ bel[1 all misspell+s 9 ! text1 & inconsi/5t or ar*aic usage1 h be5 reta9$4 ,pg #fj3 #8,ext5sive psy*o!repy may' replac$ by #8,ext5sive psy*o!rapy may'4 ,pg #fd3 #8complete physical infirm>y' replac$ by #8complete physical intimacy'4 ,pg #fh3 #8!m su* expre/ion' replac$ by #8!m su* expression'4 ,pg #gf3 #8= real ar*ievem5t' replac$ by #8= real a*ievem5t'4 ,pg #ij3 #8or saxaphone play+' replac$ by #8or saxophone play+'4 ,pg #abj3 #89 m>riage haapp9ess' replac$ by #89 m>riage happ9ess'4 ,pg #acd3 #8critical & gossippy' replac$ by #8critical & gossipy'4 ,pg #aea3 #8%$ all responsibilites' replac$ by #8%$ all responsibilities'4 ,pg #aeh3 #8( m5tal funtion' replac$ by #8( m5tal function'4 ,pg #agd3 #8p]sev]5ce & pati5ce' replac$ by #8p]sev]ance & pati5ce'4 ,pg #agh3 #8glamor\s because glamor' replac$ by #8glamor\s because glam\r'4 ,pg #bja3 #8exp]tely prep>$ &' replac$ by #8exp]tly prep>$ &'4 ,pg #bjb3 #8ea* o!r's op9ons' replac$ by #8ea* o!r's op9ions'4