,andrea ,ball1 ,steve ,schulze1 ,juliet ,sutherland1 ,charles ,franks and the ,online ,distributed ,proofreading ,team4 ,,hold ,,up ,,your ,,heads1 ,,girls6 ,,helps ,,for ,,girls1 ,,in ,,school ,,and ,,out4 ,,by ,,annie ,h ,,ryder4 ',handsome is that handsome does1--hold up your heads1 girls6' was the language of ,primrose in the play when addressing her daughters4 ,,whittier ,,copyright1 #ahhf1 ,,by ,d4 ,,lothrop ,co4 ,to ,my ,girls ,everywhere4 ,,contents4 ,,introduction ,i4 ,,how ,,to ,,talk ,,ii4 ,,how ,,to ,,get ,,acquainted ,,with ,,nature ,,iii4 ,,how ,,to ,,make ,,the ,,most ,,of ,,work ,,iv4 ,,what ,,can ,i ,,do8 ,v4 ,,what ,,to ,,study ,,vi4 ,,english ,,literature ,,and ,,other ,,studies ,,vii4 ,,the ,,commonplace ,,viii4 ,,moods ,,ix4 ,,womanliness ,x4 ,,girls ,,and ,,their ,,friends ,,xi4 ,,youths ,,and ,,maidens ,,hold ,,up ,,your ,,heads1 ,,girls6 ,,introduction4 ,when we make an object with our hands1 we frequently notice that the most care is needed as we near its completion4 ,a false stroke of the brush will change an angel into a demon1 a misguided blow of the mallet will shiver the statue into fragments3 so1 in the work which attempts to form a noble womanhood1 all the efforts of years of training will be marred or rendered ineffectual1 if the right influence1 proper occupation1 and wholesome encouragement are not given to a girl in the period which borders on womanhood4 ,we wait for the rose to open2 but if we allow the atmosphere to become impure1 or otherwise prevent its development1 its life will stagnate1 it will refuse to give out odor1 and the world will lose that beauty it might have enjoyed4 ,susceptible as girls are1 vigorous1 affectionate1 cheerful and aspiring1 if they are deprived suddenly of good influence and encouragement1 the very conditions of their growth will be removed1 and they1 like the rose1 will shut their lives within their lives4 ,there is no time in a girl's life so neglected1 and yet so dependent upon sympathy1 as that when she is first thrown upon her own efforts4 ,too old to be any longer led1 she is not old enough to be left without guidance4 ,this time usually comes when she has finished the ordinary school course and finds herself1 all at once1 waiting1 either for an entrance into what is called society1 or for an opportunity to earn her living4 ,there is a certain lightness of heart1 carelessness1 abandon1 maybe1 about girls while they are still in school1 which is both delightful and natural1 however provoking to teachers4 ,every thing is very bright now2 and if the girl learns her lessons1 is obedient1 and tries to think1 she believes that somehow things will all come around right with time4 ,all at once she is confounded4 ,she awakes in the morning1 and finds that school does not keep to-day1--no1 nor to-morrow6 ,what is to be done8 ,going and coming1 which get to be more going and coming2 dish-washing1 which daily increases into dish-washing2 or ennui1 which degenerates into melancholy1 ensue4 ,life is not what the school-girl supposed4 ,six months of it make her older than a whole school-year4 ,girls look upon graduation day as a grand portal through which they are to enter into a palace glistening with splendor2 but1 lo6 when they reach that portal1 they see only a very low gate-way1 while a hedge1 thorny and high1 shuts out the palace4 ,how to get through8 ,rather1 how are their elders to make them see that1 with the patience and energy of the prince in the story1 they can cause the hedge to turn to roses1 and open wide before them8 ,a girl needs1 first of all1 encouragement4 ,she should not be told what things are to oppose her1 if she has ambition to excel in a certain direction1 but what things are to help her to attain her purpose4 ,she wants praise1 but not flattery4 ,a girl knows when she is flattered sooner than a boy4 ,if conceit is engendered from praise1 that will do no harm4 ,time will destroy conceit1 if a girl has much to do with sensible people and sensible books4 ,a girl needs to be trusted4 ,nothing will be more efficacious than making her feel of certain importance and usefulness to others4 ,it is evident she wants sympathy in her endeavors and disappointments4 ,i do not mean that she should be indulged1 or that she should not be made to work out her own salvation2 but that she should realize that1 if she tries1 some one will know and bless her1 and if she stumbles1 some one will help her up again4 ,just as truly should she know that1 if she is careless of endeavor or negligent of her days1 she will meet with disparagement and punishment4 ,it is most necessary for a girl to have a motive placed before her1 that she may bring out whatever undeveloped faculties may be latent within her4 ,this motive may be a comparatively slight one1--no more than the training of a window-garden1 the collecting of newspaper slips1 or the making of bread2 but1 if she does her particular work better than others1 she will attain a certain degree of superiority1 and her time has1 for her1 been as profitably filled as that which another person devotes to a larger work4 ,by motive1 let me repeat1 ,i mean something given a girl to do which shall be especially her work3 not always an ambitious one1--a desire to shine in society1 letters1 or the arts1--but something just for herself1 with its own rewards4 ,how much more numerous the motives which can be given an ,american girl than one who lives on foreign soil6 ,look at the ,german girl1 for example4 ,her country arbitrarily divides its people into high and low4 ,the peasant maiden has so long stayed one side of the barrier1 she thinks she always must2 so1 with her scanty loaf of black bread near her on the ground1 she leans against a tree1 knits her stocking1 and tends the flock4 ,when night comes she goes home to her rude stone cottage1 lifts a prayer to the ,virgin1 if she is an ,austrian1 and one for the king4 ,her mind never strays beyond the village gate4 ,the more fortunate girls in towns and cities receive the allotted years of study in the schools1 and when these end at fifteen1 about the time of confirmation1 the girls are put into families away from home to get a year's experience in domestic matters4 ,then they marry1 and obediently follow the commands of their husbands4 ,it may be thought that a society girl needs no incentives to a right use of time and privileges1 but she most certainly does4 ,her responsibility is great3 she will either sway a circle or a household4 ,her influence will as surely affect her associates as did the influence of those celebrated ,french women whose salons were the places where battles were fought and decisive moments gained4 ,society is in great need of women3 it always will be4 ,now this period of young womanhood is precisely the time for cultivating those principles which will later be most helpful to society4 ,surely1 for those who are to bear more heavily the weight of life1 who are to work as they wish not2 in fact1 in a way against which all but principle struggles1--certainly1 for these1 there is every need of motive4 ,this class increases daily1 and the discouragement and distrust of its members grow with sad rapidity4 ,girls1 girls everywhere1--my girls1--do not think ,i mean to flatter you6 ,do not think ,i mean to praise you more highly than ,i ought6 ,i simply want you to know your own capabilities1 and to realize that much1 very much1 depends upon every one of you4 ,how much there is for you to do6 ,you are frank and honest now1 or ought to be2 you have not learned to imitate the falseness of so-called proprieties4 ,it is fully possible to keep young1 genuine1 girlish even1 and at the same time to be womanly4 ,the world is not sunshiny enough2 there are too many ,november days in the year3 bring fairer weather and fresh ,june mornings4 ,you are not awkward1 even if you have not learned just how to be graceful2 you are not useless1 though you have not yet acquired all the knowledge of the kitchen1 laundry1 and sewing-room2 nor are you unprofitable because you do not now earn the so many dollars a week you will sometime gain4 ,there is large hope of you1 even when you forget yourselves in the use of fashionable slang1 because your minds and hearts are open to receive kind warnings1 and to learn to despise such terms as mar the beauty of easy1 delicate speech4 ,you want courage and physical strength outside of your lively affections4 ,you want wisdom and long training in the use of books4 ,you need to be occupied1 to be active in brain and heart and hand2 busied even with more than the duties assigned you2 occupied in times of rest as well as in times of labor4 ,you should see more and feel no less4 ,indeed1 the power of observation is most cultivating and most easily developed4 ,you ought to be more familiar with ,nature1--the sky1 and trees1 and fields2 not always to have a scientific knowledge of it1 but a certain familiarity1 so that you may ever be surrounded by a glorious company of friends4 ,you need to know the value of literature1 and to adorn yourselves with the graces of conversation4 ,those qualities which contribute most to womanhood and character you should be most eager to make your own4 ,may ,i talk with you about such subjects as may suggest ways of educating your minds1 of benefiting your bodies1 and of helping1 in some little measure1 towards that growth of soul which should be the aim of all instruction8 ,i4 ,,how ,,to ,,talk4 ,i saw a group of girls the other day bidding one another good-by after a year together at boarding-school4 ,it was the merriest1 most sparkling1 set of people6--girls in every sense6--bobbing about1 kissing1 tuning their voices in all sorts of keys1 with apparently not one care nor the shadow of an unpleasant memory6 ,how ,i longed to get right in among them1 and be hugged with the rest6 though the hugging came along with armfuls of umbrellas1 bags1 hats1 rackets1 and whatever else would not go into the last inch of trunk4 ,pretty dresses1 jaunty hats1 tidy gloves and boots they wore2 but better than these were their bright1 honest faces1 and the hearty words they spoke1 ,cheerfulness seemed to gush out in the wildest hilarity4 ,how they talked with their tongues1 and their eyes1 and their hands6 ,enthusiasm sent their words racing after each other into sentences which had no beginning and no end4 ,though you might never guess it1 from the confusion of their language1 these girls were practising some of the first principles in the art of conversation1 without1 indeed1 being conscious of it4 ,they were sincere and in earnest4 ,a girl is born to be a readier talker than a boy4 ,she is usually less positive2 and1 as she has more animation1 more spontaneity1 more feeling1 she talks much more4 ,but somehow these natural gifts for talking are not cultivated by her as they should be3 sometimes they are wholly disregarded4 ,in a few years those very girls1 who talked so fluently and engrossingly1 will be sitting in corners trying to patch sentences together into what is called conversation4 ,now1 my dear girls1 the importance of this art of talking is so great that4 ,i should almost say any other art you may acquire cannot be compared with it2 in fact1 it is something so necessary to us that persons who are lacking in it stand in great danger of being metaphorically swallowed by the words of such individuals as know the cunning uses of language4 ,loosen some persons' tongues1 and1 no matter what sacrifices of character1 of friendship1 of good training1 they have to make1 they will reach the goal of their endeavor1 and drive every one else into a corner4 ,the power of eloquence and persuasion is mightier than any two-edged sword1 and cuts down enemies like the sickle before the harvest4 ,go never so determined to remain unconvinced by certain talkers1 and1 before their eloquence ceases1 you are enemies to yourselves1 and wonder you never thought their way before4 ,do not let me misguide you1 however4 ,though you may be deceived by words1 finding yourselves utterly incapable of replying to argument1 still the joys you receive from the talks of certain well-minded persons are far greater than any danger ,i have implied4 ,what is it which makes some persons using very simple words say them so they drop like manna into hungry minds and hearts1 or electrify with grand ideas and moving suggestions8 ,some will answer that it is brightness of intellect1 and a keenness of insight added to profound thoughtfulness4 ,i believe this in a large measure1 though1 if it were always true1 we should oftener be able to understand certain full-mouthed speakers1 deep thinkers1 and philosophers4 ,they do any thing but electrify1 and suggest little more than sleep and weariness4 ,others will reply that successful talking is the effect of personal magnetism4 ,that may be true to a slight degree4 ,when certain strangers enter the room1 we sometimes realize at once that it will be extremely difficult to say any more than yes or no to them2 while others1 previously unknown to us1 may come in and draw out thoughts from us in rapid succession1--thoughts we hardly knew we were capable of expressing4 ,but ,i would define a large part of the personal magnetism used in talking as an honest compound of heartiness1 thoughtfulness1 and sympathy4 ,conversation does not demand that we should always be vivacious1 sparkling1 witty1 fanciful1 or even that we should use beautiful language2 but good talk does ask for heart and interest4 ,put your heart into what you have to say3 put your interest into it1 and your conscience will be awakened1 your zeal will be aroused2 then you will compel attention1 and set others thinking also4 ,de ,quincy writes1 ,from the heart1 from an interest of love or hatred1 of hope or care1 springs all permanent eloquence2 and the elastic spring of conversation is gone if the talker is a mere showy man of talent1 pulling at an oar which he detests4 ,these things being true1 it seems to me that character is the first requirement in the art of conversation4 ,i take it for granted that every girl can1 with perseverance1 acquire a fluent use of words2 for this depends mainly on practice3 so ,i shall try to indicate those qualities which lie back of the words1 and which give life to them4 ,even the nature of a talk will have its source in character1 and to character it will return4 ,whatever chance or circumstance brings about a conversation1 it will generally lead to such expressions of ideas as will show the dispositions of the conversers4 ,just here1 girls1 let me remark1 that1 if by any slang or catch words you thoughtlessly express yourselves1 the danger is1 your character will be misunderstood1 and your pure hearts but merry minds will be censured for what is not in them4 ,depend upon it1 your own personality will be inferred from what you say1 hence the value of utter sincerity in what you talk4 ,naturally1 we are led to think about courtesy and good manners as requirements in the art of talking4 ,have you not met certain men and women who1 when they opened their mouths to speak to you1 conferred a favor on you8 and1 when they spoke1 have you not felt the benediction descending on your heads8 ,i have4 ,they were not always scholars1 nor were they great people1 nor rich people1 but mannered people4 ,such persons used their words as if they expected words from you1 for which they would be grateful4 ,they did not monopolize conversation1 neither did they frequently interrupt2 but when they had a suggestion to offer1 opportunity being afforded1 they spoke honestly1 though politely1 their good sound thoughts1--ideas which frequently destroyed the evil of gossip or impatiently uttered remarks4 ,conversation does not depend upon rapidity of speech1 as certain impulsive persons seem to think4 ,i acknowledge that much of the interruption in conversation1 and much of the monopoly1 and a large number of the quick1 almost angry words1 result from eagerness rather than conceit or selfishness4 ,if one cannot be animated without rapid speech1 let him talk fast4 ,it is a bad practice1 however1 even in the ablest talkers4 ,one can have opinions1 and yet not use them to knock down one's opponents who have had no chance to arm against one4 ,do not be ungenerous1 girls1 selfish1 in talking4 ,allow that some one else may have ideas as good as yours4 ,george ,eliot says1 in ,daniel ,deronda1 ,i cannot bear people to keep their minds bottled up for the sake of letting them off with a pop4 ,that is not conversation3 it is a selfish display of a few treasured maxims or witticisms or opinions4 ,if courtesy1 deference1 patience1 and generosity are needed to talk well1 then certainly sympathy is necessary4 ,a woman who has no comfortable word for her sister woman had better talk to the wall4 ,but ,i need not reproach girls for lack of sympathy1 nor for lack of interest in the girls they meet4 ,their confidence in new friends is so absolute2 their desire to receive sympathy1 as well as to give it1 is so great1 that they frequently impart their whole lists of secrets to the bosoms of others whom they have not known a month4 ,now a more careful use of sympathy and confidence will induce not only good manners but good talk4 ,it will tell you how to avoid such subjects as would give rise to unpleasant1 even quarrelsome1 talk4 ,it will show you when you have talked too long with one person in a mixed company1 and when you are wounding the feelings of another by paying no regard to her4 ,impartial treatment of those we meet in society is certainly very charming4 ,we say it is a great accomplishment to be able to speak a pleasant word to the neighbor on the right1 and a different1 though equally expressive1 one to the friend on the left4 ,mary likes books1 ,sallie prefers society1 ,ruth enjoys housekeeping1 ,margaret is fond of music4 ,then why not ask ,mary if she has noticed the beautiful woodcuts in the last ,harper's1 or seen the new edition of ,hawthorne8 ,why not inquire of ,sallie about the last matinee and the last hop8 ,why not ask ,ruth how she made those delicious rolls1 and how she prepared the coffee1 or how she manages to make her room look so cheerful and cosey8 ,and why not make ,margaret give you her opinion of ,wagner or of ,beethoven8 ,i cannot dwell too long on the necessity of that adaptability to others which a kind and sympathetic heart will always strive for in conversation4 ,suppose you do not know the group amidst which you are seated in a drawing-room1 and it is expected you will all become acquainted8 ,well1 if it must be1 say something to ,miss ,brown about yesterday's storm or today's sunshine2 something to ,miss ,eliot about the kindness of your hostess1 who is entertaining her friends in her usual hospitable manner1 with a word to each just suited to the individual addressed2 and something to ,mrs4 ,hammerton about the pleasant surroundings1--a picture near you1 a book1 a vase of exquisite form4 ,but suppose you are to talk with a gentleman8 ,why1 begin with just such remarks as you would use to a sensible girl2 and1 if he does not seem to care for them1 turn his attention to the world of his own affairs1--to the street and the office4 ,a man often takes pleasure in giving information about matters of great public interest of which so many girls are ignorant4 ,after you have passed a few remarks about the last election1 or the new town-hall1 you will probably find out what he prefers to discuss1 and then you can easily entertain him1 and be entertained in return4 ,i think that most men are quite as fond of general topics in conversation as women are2 and ,i fail to see the necessity of introducing different subjects for gentlemen than for ladies1--,i mean when both young men and young women appreciate what it is to be gentlemen and ladies4 ,girls1 why do so many of you indulge in so much smaller talk with men than with women8 ,because it is expected of you8 ,only by a few1 and they make themselves very absurd by always trying to say nonsensical things to you4 ,men of this sort appear to have an impression that you are still children amused with a ,jack-in-the-box which springs up in a very conceited hobgoblin way4 ,everybody likes a joke1 and at times feels a childlike pleasure in speaking nonsense2 but1 believe me1 sense is much more attractive in conversation4 ,discretion in conversation really implies a peculiar tact of woman1 a kind of cleverness1 not so frequently found in men1 and very seldom met with in boys4 ,when a woman sees her guests are led by a monopolizer along unsafe channels of thought1 she can easily1 by that happy faculty of hers1 bring them back again where all will run smoothly4 ,she can change the subject by some little remark irrelevant to it4 ,perhaps adaptability comes from discretion4 ,when you are talking with ,englishmen1--well1 do not talk quite as ,englishmen do1 though they may be perfectly sincere2 but talk as ,americans talk4 ,say a the way they do in ,boston1 or wherever else you may belong3 stick to your own town's forms of speech so long as they are reasonable4 ,above all things1 do not ape the peculiar pronunciations of certain individuals4 ,affectation1 imitation in talk1 is ruinous4 ,be yourselves6 ,girls and boys are not themselves as much as they ought to be4 ,being honest1 still adapt yourselves to new people as you would to new scenes3 talk with the ,englishman on such subjects as he prefers4 ,when you are speaking with honest country people about the beauty of their fields1 do not talk about ,flora spreading her fragrant mantle on the superficies of the earth1 and bespangling the verdant grass with her beauteous adornments4 ,use baby talk to babies2 kind and simple words to the aged2 a good1 round1 cheerful word to the girls1 almost slang1--though no1 not quite that6 ,make the grocer feel you have an interest in groceries2 the seamstress an interest in sewing1 as of course you have2 and the doctor an interest in sickness4 ,in fact1 make each one with whom you come in contact realize that you care for him and what he specially does4 ,just put yourselves into the places of others1 and the words will take care of themselves4 ,the intellect is not such a supreme factor in conversation as the points of character ,i have so far named4 ,mr4 ,mathews1 in his ,great ,conversers1 writes1 ,the character has as much to do with the colloquial power as has the intellect2 the temperament1 feelings1 and animal spirits even more1 perhaps1 than the mental gifts4 ,i add this remark from ,de ,quincy3 ,more will be done for the benefit of conversation by the simple magic of good manners 7that is1 chiefly by a system of forbearance7 applied to the besetting vices of social intercourse than ever was or can be done by all varieties of intellectual power assembled upon the same arena4 ,but there are certain things the mind must do in connection with the disposition4 ,concentrating the thoughts is one of these things1--very hard for young or old to acquire4 ,persons resort to very queer methods to obtain it1--some scratch their heads1 others rub their chins4 ,i have seen a public speaker try to wreak thoughts out of a watch-chain4 ,another jerked at the rear pockets of his swallow-tailed coat to pick out a thought there4 ,you know the story ,walter ,scott tells about the head boy8 ,he always fumbled over a particular button when he recited2 so1 one day1 the button being furtively removed by ,walter1 the boy became abstracted1 and ,scott passed above him4 ,madame ,de ,stael1 as she talked1 twisted a bit of paper1 or rolled a leaf between her fingers4 7,some have attributed this to her vanity1 as she had very beautiful hands47 ,i believe friends came to note her necessity1 and supplied her with leaves4 ,well1 do what you will that is harmless1 if it but serve to pin your attention right down to the matter before you4 ,the great conversers of literature are wrongly called so4 ,set topics do not often lead to genuine conversation1 and those who occupy the time by delivering their ideas on given subjects are really lecturers4 ,johnson as well as ,coleridge talked right on while all the rest sat and listened4 ,conversation that is real implies give and take4 ,we do not talk to illuminate the minds of others only1 but to get their ideas also4 ,and1 don't you see1 we never quite know what our own thoughts are till we come to try to make them clear to others8 ,intercourse is1 after all1 man's best teacher4 ',know thyself is an excellent maxim2 but even self- knowledge cannot be perfected in closets and cloisters4 ,footnote3 ,mathews4 ,three or four expressing ideas on the same subject give one a larger range of thoughts1 make one more liberal and less obstinate4 ,if you care for a girl's opinion because it is just like yours1 maybe it is her sympathy you are after and not her opinion4 ,an interchange of ideas sometimes leads to discussion1 and that is admirable for the growth of mind1 provided it does not degenerate into dispute4 ,it is not necessary that conversation should roll around a given point4 ,i think that is the most entertaining1 restful1 and real talk which is the most roving4 ,you may begin in ,portland and end in ,san ,francisco4 ,you may start talking about preserving peaches1 and halt on the latest sensation4 ,it is often very amusing to trace the line of such converse3 it moves in a zigzag course1 and terminates many miles out of the original direction4 ,by this discursiveness ,i do not mean gossip4 ,of course talk of that kind has no good part in conversation3 it is the slave of ignorance and bad character4 ,i might1 however1 differ from some as to what gossip is1--whether there may not be certain kinds of talk miscalled gossip4 ,i am quite sure that criticising the misfortunes of others1 and watching a chance for dilating upon their lot1 with your neighbors on the next doorstep1 would come under the head of worse than gossip4 ,it might be well to distinguish between gossip and scandal3 the one is goodness adulterated2 the other is evil unmixed4 ,good conversation is the mark of highest culture4 ,that is why1 in spite of shabby dresses1 unbanged hair1 tremendous mouths1 and large noses1 some persons are purely delightful4 ,we have seen that this is so1 yet have not added that something lies in the voice as well as in the manners and words of such people4 ,from nervousness1 and other causes which ,i have not been able to trace1 girls are apt to pitch their voices too high1 as though they thought to be better able to speak distinctly4 ,a gruff1 mannish voice is worse than a piping1 shrill tone in a woman2 but fulness of tone prevents no melody1 and this comes from a medium pitch4 ,in the very modulations of the voice are detected excellence and refinement4 ,the human voice1 in its sounds and accents1 is a record of character3 trust it as the key-board of the human being4 ,may ,i remind you here1 girls1 of the harm arising from loud talk in public places8 ,how many times do we suffer annoyance from the noisy voice in the car1 the station1 or on the street6 ,how bold and immodest such tones are6 ,some persons seem to think the public is not to be regarded1 and that it has no right to criticism4 ,they appear to believe that a train is no different than an open field1 where the voice needs no restraint1 and where manners are not the most refined4 ,they treat the passengers with as little care as they do the cars2 for1 while they make a waste-basket of the latter1 they regard the former as so many brazen images to be stared at ad libitum4 ,passengers have ears1 though they themselves be removed from the talkers by the distance of a seat or two4 ,now about the words you use1 girls4 ,i fully realize the expressiveness of slang and the convenience of exaggeration4 ,but if a peach pie is almost divine1 and the ,hudson ,river awfully lovely1 what can be said of the ,new ,testament and ,niagara ,falls8 ,what is to become of the poor innocent words in the ,english language which mean only delicious and beautiful8 ,by a girl's words know her2 but1 oh6 never by the slang she uses4 ,this use of slang is really a serious matter4 ,honest words are so misconstrued1 and propriety in the employment of them so injured1--phrases are capable of so many interpretations1--that even serious people use slang in a very pathetic way without ever knowing the words are slang4 ,girls not only hurt themselves1 but go to work to defame the very ,english language and the people who speak ,english4 ,when a young woman1 who makes much pretension to fine manners and an elegant education1 takes the steam-car for a rostrum1 and exclaims about her ,french teacher as awfully funny but awfully horrid1 don't you know2 awfully lovely sometimes1 but awfully awful at others6 we wonder why she gives so much attention to ,french when her ,english vocabulary seems to have reduced itself to the scanty proportions of one word4 ,oh1 ,i know how pertinent certain kinds of slang are6 ,i acknowledge that a few peculiar expressions convey ideas more emphatically than whole pages of classical ,english4 ,the dangers from the habitual use of slang cannot be too strongly presented4 ,imagine a girl of the period versed in the loose expressions of the day4 ,she goes away2 but1 after an absence of five years in a country where she hears little except in a foreign tongue1 she returns1 and with her comes her slang4 ,how common1 how witless1 her talk appears6 ,her slang has long since gone out of fashion4 ,the best of ,english never changes its style4 ,girls1 especially very young girls1 must have their secret signs1 their language of nods and becks and shrugs2 but young ladies who have outgrown eni1 meni1 moni1 mi2 husca1 lina1 bona1 stri1 ought to outgrow signs which are suggestive of coarse1 rude acts1 and which1 with the slang expressions that accompany them1 have often originated in some theatre of questionable character4 ,the responsibility rests with you1 girls1 to stop this increasing use of slang1 and of words of double meaning4 ,i say you can prevent it because you are so much regarded4 ,your influence is wide1 wider than you suppose4 ,if you do not cease speaking slang1 your younger sisters will not1 your friends and acquaintances may not4 ,more than this3 if you use coarse words1 or those which may be interpreted in various ways1 then coarse manners will soon follow coarse tones1 and a general swaggering and lawlessness4 ,my dear girls1 ,i am only prophesying what will be if no prevention is employed4 ,surely you will give no cause for censure1 if you seriously think about this matter4 ,it is a part of youthful exuberance to exaggerate4 ,children always want a thing as long as from here to ,jerusalem1 and stretch their tiny arms out till they nearly fall backwards1 trying to make an inch as long as a mile4 ,but1 cave canem6 the fault of exaggerating once powerful over you1 not only the bounds of the ,english language are leapt1 but truth is unconsciously set at nought4 ,we always allow for the words of some persons1 for with them a scratch is a wound2 a wind1 a hurricane2 one dollar1 a thousand2 and all they do in life1 a big1 big bluster4 ,the only way to bring back ,english to a state of purity--for it has been outraged by slang1 imitation1 technical expressions1 a straining after long words1 and a regular system of exaggeration--is to speak simple words1 using all necessary force and emphasis in the voice instead of in the number of syllables1 saying what you mean by just the words that will convey the meaning4 ,of course the dictionary must be frequently used4 ,there is no help so sure as that which it affords to one who would use language properly4 ,do not be troubled if you hesitate in conversation1 and cannot immediately find the proper word4 ,search in your mind till you get the expression1 then next time it will come more rapidly4 ,one of the best ways to increase fluency of speech is to avoid repetition of words as much as possible4 ,turn the name of an object or of an idea into a phrase1 or substitute a synonym1 and in this way you add variety and words to your vocabulary4 ,do not use foreign words when ,english will do as well4 ,there are times when it will not1 though it is a very copious language4 ,never think ,english inferior4 ,hear its music in ,tennyson and ,longfellow1 ,de ,quincey and ,ruskin4 ,see its beauty in the pages of ,hawthorne and ,irving4 ,do not use technical terms with those unacquainted with science or art4 ,it shows a lack of good sense4 ,i want once more to insist on the value of good conversation1 more particularly because of its suggestiveness4 ,i believe there are few things really great and good which have not this power of suggestion4 ,the picture is not wonderful that can be appreciated at a glance1 the book is not remarkable which will not bear a second reading1 music is not good unless it awakes harmonies1 a thought is not valuable unless it suggests another thought4 ,the graces of conversation none can wear as well as woman4 ,they are most becoming to you1 my dear girls1--even brighter and richer and dearer than any jewels with which you may adorn yourselves4 ,they consist mostly of pleasant1 well-chosen words1 sympathetic1 hearty tones1 sprightliness1 and certain winsome modulations of voice4 ,when every other accomplishment fails to entertain1 there is always left the resource of good talk1 pleasing to old and young4 ,we cannot sit at ,luther's table1 and hear him utter life-giving words1 ,if a man could make a single rose1 we should give him an empire2 yet roses1 and flowers no less beautiful1 are scattered in profusion over the world1 and no one regards them4 ,we cannot listen to ,coleridge1 with his head among the clouds4 ,we1 alas6 cannot even catch the energetic flash of ,margaret ,fuller's words4 ,but every one of us can improve her conversation by persevering effort in the ways indicated1 and can listen still to the best of talk4 ,somewhere ,emerson writes1 ,wise1 cultivated1 genial conversation is the last flower of civilization1 and the best result which life has to offer us1--a cup for the gods1 which has no repentance4 ,,ii4 ,,how ,,to ,,get ,,acquainted ,,with ,,nature4 ,my dear girls1 ,i want to talk to you to-day about one of your very best friends1--one so altogether lovely1 from first to last1 that we can never exhaust her attractions4 ,nature is1 indeed1 among the most loving and constant friends a girl can have1 and not by any means the imaginary acquaintance so many suppose she is4 ,she lives and breathes1 and has a form and spirit4 ,are you looking about to see where she is8 ,no need of that4 ,come right here1 and sit down beside me under this great pine-tree4 ,how strong and comfortable its back feels against yours6 ,do you see all those soft green points looking down on you while the tasselled branches gently sway8 ,just look at the deep blue patches of sky away up and up among the green arches4 ,how cool and smooth and restful6 how unending the color is in which the leaves lie6 ,how hardy and brave the branches look6 ,see the lines of beauty in them1--long1 aspiring1 slightly curving lines1--which meet and terminate in cathedral spires4 ,what grace in the motion of every spray of greenness6 what a healing odor in the breath of the tree6 ,and1 hark6 a little breeze has touched it1 and tuned its language into a plaintive song1--a sound like the surf washing upon a distant shore4 ,do you know why the pine is so sad a tree8 ,let me tell you her story4 ,no2 she will sing it herself1 if you will listen to the nocturn3 ,long1 long ago ,i had my home on an island of the ocean1 and my branches swayed and sang to the waves that kissed my feet with the fondness of a betrothed lover4 ,the winds were envious of our sweet union1 and blew away from me the germs of life4 ,my seeds sprang up again1 but on foreign soil2 and the new trees1 my offspring1 are the same in form and color1 but their souls are all sad from my recounted memories of departed joy4 ,when the slightest breeze comes near1 and ventures to softly touch the branches1 a sound like sobbing follows2 but when1 with rougher grasp1 the east wind approaches1 a wailing like the utterances of a storm-tossed sea is heard4 ,listen6 do you not hear it now8 ,it is the imprisoned spirit of the pine1 longing for the waves1 moaning out a vain desire for the embrace of the sea4 ,how am ,i sure the tree is alive and friendly8 ,doesn't it bow to you when you pass1 and curve and sweep before you8 ,doesn't it offer you rest and refreshment in its shade8 ,doesn't it entertain you by showing you beautiful pictures and forms1 and doesn't it furnish you with music8 ,see what an instructor it is6 ,away up there among the branches are lessons involving the very first principles of architecture1 sculpture1 and painting1--signs that show the laws of harmony and hint at morality itself4 ,its trunk and limbs look honest and courageous1 firm and trusty1 while all its lofty1 tapering height points ,godward4 ,it is your confidant2 and the more you tell it1 the more you will find to say4 ,while it is very modest and retiring1 requiring time to get acquainted with you1 still1 the more it talks to you1 the more you will want to hear4 ,the pine is your school-master1 and you are the royal pupil1--,roger ,ascham and ,queen ,elizabeth4 ,it is no longer an ordinary tree1 but something born with a spirit in it2 and it has birthdays4 ,thoreau1 the man who loved ,nature so much that the birds and the fishes took care of him and were never afraid of their master1 used to visit certain trees on certain days in the year4 ,the pine has a birthday worth celebrating in ,december1 the maple in ,october1 and the birch in ,may4 ,you think this is all fancy1 and believe persons must be very imaginative to find such friends in ,nature8 ,oh1 no2 along with fancy ,nature tucks very real things into our thoughts about her4 ,you only need an introduction to her1 and you will see for yourselves4 ,the most practical among you will find that even fancy is a most useful quality1 because it leads men to think out great truths4 ,some of the most remarkable ideas in literature1 philosophy1 science1 and1 religion have come from just this snug little acquaintance with ,nature4 ,probably the most original poet in the last hundred years was ,wordsworth4 ,however much he lacked in some respects1 he has done most towards shaping the minds of other poets1 and towards advancing new and beautiful theories4 ,his honest ideas1 his simple truths1 were told him by the field-flowers--the celandine and daisy and daffodil--as well as by the common trees and the common sky4 ,i suppose most of the principles of natural philosophy1 and of many of the sciences1 must have been derived from an acquaintance with ,nature in her ordinary aspects4 ,oh1 do not think it necessary to behold ,nature in her great stretches of sublimity in order to appreciate her4 ,you will come to know her far more easily1 and much more helpfully1 in a little woodside walk1 or right here underneath these branches1 than you will in ,niagara ,falls1 or in looking at her in the great ocean4 ,she comes down more to the level of your understanding here in this meadow4 ,comes down to your comprehension8 ,yes2 ,i mean that1 and yet ,i would not for a moment imply that in her most commonplace guise you can exhaust her beauty4 ,do you know what ,mr4 ,ruskin says about such an apparently insignificant thing as a blade of grass8 ,gather a single blade of grass1 and examine for a minute1 quietly1 its narrow1 sword-shaped strip of fluted green4 ,nothing it seems there1 of notable goodness or beauty4 ,a very little strength and a very little tallness1 and a few delicate long lines meeting in a point4444 ,and yet1 think of it well1 and judge whether of all the gorgeous flowers that beam in summer air1 and of all strong and goodly trees1 pleasant to the eyes and good for food1--stately palm and pine1 strong ash and oak1 scented citron1 burdened vine1--there be any so deeply loved1 by ,god so highly graced1 as that narrow point of feeble green4 ,but how to get acquainted with ,nature is the question4 ,by observation1--by simply opening your eyes and seeing4 ,if no one yet knows all about a blade of grass1 surely no one has so far beheld all the beauty there is in a single sun-rise4 ,you cannot see every thing at a glance4 ,when you first let your eyes rest upon the horizon1 you may see only a piece of sky in the east3 not very remarkable1 you think1 except that here and there are things that look like streaks of red and yellow4 ,later1 you find something unobserved before1--clouds shaped like islands and balanced in mid-air1 or lying like rafts which float along the edge of the sky4 ,then the color seems to deepen1 and to spread out in great bars of light which lift and remove the remnants of the night4 ,they are floating barges1--gondolas richly decked with crimson and gold1 and burning with jewels of light4 ,a coolness seems to come in the air1 an exhilaration in your feeling4 ,energy1 enterprise1 are inspired with the dawn4 ,when the sun is really up in the heavens1 you feel an expansion of spirits1 and great light is within you4 ,you1 too1 will make a path through the day1 as the sun makes his path through the heavens4 ,by and by you will be able to say with the bardic philosopher1 ,i see the spectacle of morning from the hill-top over against my house from daybreak to sunrise1 with emotions which an angel might share 444 ,i seem to partake its rapid transformations4 ,the active enchantment reaches my dust1 and ,i dilate and conspire with the morning wind 444 ,give me health and a day1 and ,i will make the pomp of emperors ridiculous4 ,and1 at length1 you will rise above the earthly1 and exclaim with the psalmist1 ,lift up your heads1 ,o ye gates2 and be ye lift up1 ye everlasting doors2 and the ,king of glory shall come in4 ,observe the humblest flower that grows1 and first you may notice only its color1 or form1 or fragrance4 ,look again1 and some added beauty appears4 ,observe more closely1 handle it1 and you are made a little thoughtful1 because1 all unconsciously to yourself1 it may be1 the flower is doing something to your mind and heart and soul4 ,perhaps its velvety softness and its lowliness speak to you of humility and gentleness2 or perhaps its fragrance breathes sweetness into your life and feeling1--only a little1 to be sure1 but that little means something4 ,the spirit of the flower speaks to your spirit2 and you wonder what relation it bears to you1 and if you are not both connected with the spirit of ,god4 ,there is something more than sentiment in attributing character to flowers1 something better than fancy in saying1 ,pansies for thoughts4 ,growing things all mean real things2 so do the stones in the stone-wall1 and the gravel on the road1 and the very breeze that blows in our faces1--all and each have a significance which does not at once meet the outward eye4 ,it would be very delightful1 and certainly very useful1 if1 besides this friendliness in ,nature1 you could learn some of the special values of ,nature1 as shown by science4 ,a botanist has fuller joy in flowers and ferns and grasses than a mere observer of them1 and a geologist has more pleasure in rocks than he who remarks them for their beauty's sake4 ,still1 this friendship and this general observation had to come before the scientific knowledge was possible4 ,i have great sympathy for those who1 while ignorant of technicalities1 love objects for just simply the things themselves4 ,when you begin to get acquainted with the externals of ,nature1 then1 of course1 you will ask how they are made2 and the lessons of science will attract you4 ,looking at the smoothness of the rounded stones1 you will be led to examine their ancient homes beneath the waves2 noticing the long straight lines on the rocks1 you will wander back to the period when ice covered the land1 and the earth was wrapped in chaotic gloom4 ,observe1 only observe6 and curiosity will press for you the very secrets out of the woods1 the streams1 the skies4 ,look around you6 ,there is such an infinite number of objects to consider right about your own porch-door1--the lichens on the door-stone1 the apple-tree shading the path1 the striped pebble that you kick aside1 the plant pressing up between the boards1 the dew shimmering on the weed4 ,investigate all your surroundings1 especially the small1 neglected places1 and try to have an opinion about what you observe4 ,a busy man1 a merchant1 noticed1 some time ago1 a thistle growing by the wayside4 ,he was journeying in the steam-cars at the time2 and1 although the next stopping-place was somewhat far1 he walked back to find the strange flower4 ,the prize he gained was a rare plant1 a beautiful thistle of which he had only heard before4 ,oh1 ,nature is so modest6 ,but once set her talking1 she will forget your presence1 and babble like the brook4 ,how much she has told the poets1 and the men of science6 ,how much she will tell you1 too1 if you but heed her6 ,ah1 girls1 what slight attention we have1 in reality1 shown to ,nature6 ,we treat her more like a servant than a friend and companion4 ,the desire for excitement has turned our minds to vainer subjects4 ,the struggles which our elders have made for money and position have deprived them of chances for regarding natural objects4 ,however deplorable this may be1 it is a still more lamentable fact1 that you1 dear girls1 give so little heed to ,nature1--you who have time and to spare4 ,it lies with you to cultivate this love for the natural world1 that future generations may be more mindful of it4 ,when we refuse the gladness that ,nature offers us1 we dismiss a large share of the happiness ,god intended for us4 ,i ought to be a little more lenient in my criticism on the lack of appreciating ,nature1 perhaps2 for not a few of us may find lingering in our minds some autumnal glory which lights up our memories with colors of crimson and gold4 ,we should remember1 however1 that not only the glow of autumn and the flush of summer are beautiful1 but that every season1 every climate1 every aspect in the shifting panorama of ,nature1 has a beauty as real4 ,our own region1 be it arid with parching suns1 or wet with frequent rains2 be it always winter there1 or always summer1 is full of beauty4 ,there is sunset on the desert1 moonrise on mid-ocean1 gorgeous coloring and crowding life in the tropics1 dazzling starlight over ice-bound lands4 ,neither is one day so much better than another for beholding ,nature4 ,yesterday we let the mild sunshine redden the blood beneath the skin2 to-day we are drawn from our study of the perfect harmony of grays in the clouds and trees to watch1 within the house1 the bright light which gleams from the coals1--,nature brought up out of the earth4 ,regard even one day of our worst weather1 as we say1--worst for our health or convenience we must always mean4 ,think of a bleak and sleety ,march day4 ,as the storm whirls against the house with strong blasts of rain and snow1 our excitement increases by watching the swaying trees1 and by listening to the shaking windows1 while the lawless winds howl and rage around the corner4 ,when the winds settle from boisterousness into low complaints1 and now and then fall into quiet utterances1 musical murmurings1 the rain pauses1 the sky softens1 and our minds grow calm and gentle4 ,but when1 again1 the clouds gather darkness1 and make strength for a new onslaught1 we become sober with fear and doubt4 ,tell me1 if1 as we view these changes1 and hear these stirring or weird sounds1 we do not indeed behold battle scenes1 and listen to music from which even ,wagner might have learned4 ,but the storm is the exceptional aspect1 and we ought to care more for ordinary views4 ,winter is common enough1 but it has its perfections4 ,its colors1 though less gorgeous than those of autumn1 are the most restful and quiet in their tone and feeling4 ,those grays and browns1 huddling together in silent lines side by side1 are full of peaceful beauty as they rest upon the white snow or up against uncertain skies4 ,i like a gray atmosphere relieved by silver birches1 just enough sombreness set off by cheerfulness4 ,it is wisdom and patience ornamented with gray locks4 ,spring1 early spring1 in ,new ,england1 we call more disagreeable than winter4 ,ah1 but it is the budding time6 ,when you meet spring1 before the trees come out in full dress1 when all that fluttering1 fluffy greenness1 and that crimson flowering etch1 with innumerable branchlets1 the embroidery of ,nature against the sky1 you meet1 even though the east sea winds blow1 a season incomparable4 ,an opportunity for getting acquainted with ,nature is never wanting4 ,if men should cut down all the forest trees1 as they now threaten1 they could not cut the clouds out of the sky1 as ,thoreau affirms4 ,a roof light in a garret1 even1 gives the eye visions dazzlingly beautiful over beyond all the chimney pots1 if the eye only looks4 ,we would go far to see on canvas the lake1 the river1 the wood that borders our heritage2 and yet we rarely heed their living charms that daily offer us new pleasures4 ,we cross the ocean to visit great churches1 and we throng to hear an organ played by a master musician2 while in yonder forest we may enter a cathedral1 loftier and grander far than art can form1 through whose densely branching arches and solemn aisles sweeps the music of the winds from the organ pipes of the pines4 ,nature1 in most of her aspects1 will give us small chance for censuring her scant attractions4 ,a field of grass and flowers1 sunshine and chirping birds1 the clinging1 changing foliage1 or the shimmer of snow and ice1 the light of moon and stars1 are in some of her commonest pictures4 ,we are simply to give heed4 ,as ,carlyle suggests1 it is not because we have such superior levity that we pay no attention to ,nature4 ,by not thinking1 we simply cease to wonder1 that is all4 ,oh1 get acquainted with ,nature1 my girls1 and see how lovely the world will become6 ,do you know that beautiful sketch by ,charles ,kingsley called ,my ,winter ,garden8 ,read it1 and see how he gets the world out of a small space1--how he becomes rich4 ,you know no man can buy a landscape1--it belongs to all4 ,we are1 every one1 rich in summer skies1 in fair forests1 in great tracts of meadow verdure4 ,see how ,kingsley grows contented1--how he becomes wise4 ,have you eyes to see8 ,then lie down on the grass1 and look near enough to see something more of what is to be seen2 and you will find tropic jungles in every square foot of turf2 mountain cliffs and debacles at the mouth of every rabbit burrow2 dark strids1 tremendous cataracts1 'deep glooms and sudden glories' in every foot-broad rill which wanders through the turf4444 ,nature1 as every one will tell you who has seen dissected an insect under the microscope1 is as grand and graceful in her smallest as in her largest forms4 ,we are told there is something most practical in physiology4 ,one of its first requirements is proper exercise for the body4 ,now1 no exercise combines so many advantages as walking3 by no other means can we come so easily to an acquaintance with ,nature4 ,never ride in the country1 or anywhere within ,nature's dearest precincts1 when you can as well go on foot4 ,you cannot see things flying by you4 ,do not adopt the custom of most pedestrians1 that of getting over the ground as rapidly as possible4 ,take daily walks1 no matter what the weather is2 but do not go too far4 ,irregularity in this exercise is harmful4 ,it is far better to walk two miles daily than ten miles at one time1 and fifteen a week hence4 ,go to see something on your walks1 if you discover nothing more than a great hole in the ground2 and come home with some thought about what you have seen4 ,i found out a great truth1 one day last spring1 of which ,i was wholly ignorant before1--that a rose is sweeter in the morning than in the noonday4 ,many a lesson in that2 some practical knowledge too4 ,in a delightful way1 the hermit of ,walden tells us how to take walks1 how to truly saunter4 ,he says that the word saunterer was derived from those persons who1 during the ,middle ,ages1 went on crusades to the ,holy ,land4 ,when one of them1 as he journeyed towards the ,east1 appeared among the children1 they would exclaim1 ',there goes a ,sainte ,terrer6'--a ,holy ,lander--which1 you can see1 came to be called ,saunterer4 ,thoreau says that every one who walks as he should1 with his eyes and his heart open1 is bound to a ,holy ,land4 ,every walk is a sort of crusade1 preached by some ,peter the ,hermit in us1 to go forth and reconquer this ,holy ,land from the hands of the ,infidels4 ,is not that a beautiful thought8 ,walk with freedom of the chest and limbs1 carrying nothing in the hands to prevent the play of any muscles4 ,breathe through the nose rather than through the mouth4 ,i suppose the most of the girls can walk in an ordinary street dress2 but ,i would suggest1 if a girl is to go far1 that she wear a full1 short skirt1 of not very heavy weight1 a loose flannel blouse1 and stout shoes4 ,this costume can be arranged so that it will not in the least shock her townspeople4 ,it is always safest1 and usually most agreeable1 to walk accompanied by one or more friends who are bound on the same quest4 ,begin your walk as you are to continue it3 at an even1 easy pace1 or with such steps as you naturally take when the first signs of weariness appear4 ,use as much of your body as you can4 ,welcome the increased circulation of the blood1 and the glow of the skin2 but be very careful to retard these when you are nearing the end of your saunter1 or are about to rest for a while4 ,remember the danger of standing or sitting quietly when in a perspiration4 ,it is profitable to rest early in a walk1 and to break it by frequently sitting down for a few moments at a time4 ,do not walk too rapidly4 ,remember you are not to care who gets to the top of the mountain first4 ,it should be your aim to see things on the way up1 as well as from the summit4 ,if one often turns to get views from behind1 the ascent gradually prepares one's mind for the climacteric vision from the top4 ,you may boast that you have walked a given number of miles1 but count yourself still prouder because you have seen what that number of miles held for you along the way4 ,be careful of your steps1 yet be bold and confident1 that you may leap the stream or scale the rock4 ,if you stop to reflect1 the stream will grow wider1 and the rock steeper and smoother4 ,a stick helps many in climbing1 but ,i believe the skilled pedestrian climbs unaided4 ,do not jump1 girls4 ,creep1 slide1 crawl2 but never shock your system with a jump of few or many feet in height4 ,the dangers of walking arise from too great an ambition to go a long distance1 from striving to out-walk somebody1 from walking too rapidly and irregularly1 and from allowing the mind to become so exhilarated as not to be sensible of the fatigues of the body4 ,stop when you are tired4 ,remember that1 in a walk of ten miles1 the last five are longer than the first five2 then reserve that second half for the next day4 ,form observation clubs1 mountain clubs1 pedestrian clubs1--any worthy association which will take you out of doors1 and teach you about the region in which you live4 ,be earnest about it1 as about a solemn1 necessary work4 ,take your ,english cousins for examples4 ,i think it was ,sara ,coleridge who1 in her old age1 complained because she could no longer walk more than fifteen miles a day4 ,in that delightful essay1 written by ,charles ,lamb1 on ,old ,china1 ,bridget ,elia sighs because she and her companion have become so rich they cannot walk their thirty miles1 as they had so often done1 on a holiday4 ,in ,england or in ,switzerland1 one meets whole flocks of ,english girls out on a walk of a week's duration4 ,think of the sport in such a tramp1--the hilarity on the way6 the lunches gathered by hap-hazard from country bake-shops and groceries1 and eaten in any retired nook that offers by the roadside6 ,think of the appetite for commonest food1 and of the amusing difficulties which come from lack of knives and forks6 ,on such a walk1 how easy to pick one's self up after lunch1 throw the dinner-table away1 and trot on to the next village4 ,as a girl passes from town to town1 how eager she is to note their characteristics1 to look at the people curiously1 and to pry into their shop-windows4 ,how much she learns about ,nature6 ,is the sky so blue at home8 ,are the wild flowers so abundant8 ,is the grass so soft and green8 ,oh1 girls6 try to make yourselves at home with ,nature1 and walk out among her attractions4 ,in all your observations of ,nature do not forget her living personality1 her power to love you1 to comfort you1 and to develop you4 ,feel that you have a friend with you even when you seem to go solitary4 ,remember that1 in learning to know ,nature1 you are learning to know yourselves4 ,from your friends and your books1 ask all about what you see4 ,be favored with every grand spectacle in ,nature1 but be never wearied with her commonplace aspects4 ,do not think of yourselves so much as living in rooms and houses1 but as living in the house1 the palace of the earth and sky1 whose every gallery1 corridor and hall1 is carpeted with ,nature's tapestries of unfading color and deep softness2 whose walls are hung with glowing sunsets2 and through whose green roof1 here and there1 a pane of blue sky appears4 ,,iii4 ,,how ,,to ,,make ,,the ,,most ,,of ,,work4 ,when ,god made heaven and earth1 and all things beautiful for the enjoyment of his children1 ,he added ,his last1 best blessing1--the gift of work4 ,sweeter than the fruits of ,eden1 more grateful than the fragrance that breathed from the flowers of ,paradise1 and grander than all the starry hosts of heaven1 was this most precious favor4 ,by it the world is delivered of its hidden riches1 and the mind of man developed into its broadest capabilities4 ,yes1 dear girls1 there is a blessedness in work that transcends every joy you have4 ,you know it2 but the question comes1 ,how to make the most of the gift8 ,what a dull old world this would be if we spent all our days on hotel verandas at summer resorts6 ,absolutely unbearable6 ,we should all die of ease4 ,it is as necessary for us all to work as it is to breathe4 ,nothing exists in the natural world without its special office or duty2 and surely1 in the world of man1 no one can live without occupation4 ,lack of sufficiently worthy work is one of the crying evils of our day1 among both boys and girls4 ,every thing is done to make labor less1 or to turn it completely into pleasure1--to shirk it1 or to scorn it4 ,the sewing-machine has made the good sewer a phenomenon4 ,our grandmothers used to rip their dresses and linings with sharp scissors3 a good jump from a carriage will send us right out of a modern costume4 ,teachers learn the lessons now1 and the pupils take notes and cram once in a while4 ,text-books have gone out of fashion4 ,the next generation will not see any antique furniture3 it will all lie in a hopelessly unglued state1 separated into its elements4 ,there will not be any china tea-sets1--all broken in the last dish-washing4 ,there may be a few books in loose bindings and faded covers1 and a few works of art in frames that furnace-heat has set sadly awry4 ,there will be a plenty of fine machines4 ,mr4 ,froude tells us1 ,when the magnificent ,earl of ,essex was sent to ,cambridge1 in ,elizabeth's time1 his guardian provided him with a deal table covered with green baize1 a truckle-bed1 half a dozen chairs1 and a wash hand-basin4 ,the cost of all was five pounds4 ,harvard boys have somewhat enlarged that invoice of housekeeping goods4 ,what do you think about the furnishings of college girls8 ,welcome improvement4 ,yes1 indeed6 ,be glad of clothes-wringers1 dish- washers1 carpet-sweepers1 ,quincy methods1 ,meisterschaft systems1 and all else that will economize labor and time1 or make more attractive the special work you have to do2 but never forget that no machine can be invented which will make housekeeping a sport1 and thorough1 hard work of any kind unnecessary4 ,and remember1 too1 there is no royal road to learning1 as the ,alexandrian philosopher said4 ,kings and queens must walk over the same rough road which we tread when they go up to the temple of knowledge4 ,cloth of gold cannot smooth the way1 nor elegant editions make knowledge more subservient4 ,girls1 what do you think about shirking work8 ,one of the chief differences between happy girls and moody ones consists in the amount of work they do1 or leave undone4 ,the despair which settles over many a girl's days1 the indifference1 comes from no longer being compelled to do certain tasks4 ,get work1 get work3 be sure 'tis better than what you work to get4 ,do not delay the task that must be done4 ,procrastination is worse than the thief of time3 it is the robber of our own character1 our own growth and happiness4 ,we need to work continually to be strong1 mentally1 physically1 or spiritually1 even2 and the longer we put off exercise1 the less competent we are4 ,i cannot believe that a lazy person is a real ,christian4 ,who labors1 prays4 ,i know so many girls who delay writing essays1 hoping that slight sickness1 or some unforeseen event1 may ward off the trouble of thinking for an hour2 then1 when the time of necessity comes1 and no deliverance from the hands of tyrannical teachers1 a series of nervous attacks ensue1 because of overtaxed minds 7872 and the doctors order those poor girls out of the presence of such cruel task-masters4 ,medical science and educational science always do conflict2 but eleven-o'clock suppers1 social circles1 tri-weekly gad-abouts1 and over-anxious parents1 who yearn for a good match for their daughters1 disarrange the brains and stomachs of girls oftener than any undue desire to excel in study4 ,the average student is never killed by the average school or the average school-teacher4 ,but shirking work of any kind1 delaying it1 or contriving to make it less1 will bring about a certain irregularity1 and certain spasmodic efforts that are utterly ruinous4 ,the cramming system1 in schools1 or homes1 or trades1 is deplorable4 ,you cannot put a whole geometry into your brain three days before examination1 without its bulging and breaking through the cranium in less than a month's time4 ,you cannot sweep and bake and wash ,saturday morning1 without the pies burning1 the clothes tearing1 and the dust flying4 ,you cannot do all your book-keeping in just the hour before the evening train starts3 some one's account will be incorrect4 ,regularity achieves what intensity never can4 ,it is not the amount of work that hurts1 so much as spasmodic attempts to work4 ,girls are not as strong as formerly4 ,irregular work1 fast work1 fast living1 are largely at fault4 ,girls scorn work3 it is too humble1 or too little appreciated4 ,now1 the fact is1 girls1 there is highest worth and dignity in precisely those kinds of labor that seem the lowliest and count for the least4 ,kinds of work differ1 not so much in worth as in the use they make of our faculties to do to our utmost what lies before us4 ,the monotony of housekeeping1 or the daily repetition of work immediately to be undone1 is1 after all1 the most essential labor4 ,without it1 especially in ,america1 the home would be destroyed4 ,if a woman is not fit to manage the internal matters of a house1 she is fit for nothing1 and should never be put in a house or over a house1 any way4 ,good housekeeping lies at the root of all the real ease and satisfaction in existence4 ,footnote3 ,harriet ,prescott ,spofford4 ,it is an offence to women everywhere that in summing up women's work1 the census will carefully enumerate those employed in professions1-- doctors1 lawyers1 ministers1 teachers1 authors1--those who work in factories and clothing establishments2 those who are accountants1 manufacturers1 servants1 farmer's1 and fish-women1 even2 but contains not one word about the home-keepers4 ,are they not in any profession8 ,have they no valuable calling8 ,enrolled1 would not they swell the number of workers by several hundreds of thousands in ,massachusetts alone8 ,if the census slights home-keepers1 however1 the girls slight home-keeping even more4 ,very few girls are to step aside from the commonplace1 as we carelessly term it2 but more depends1 in this world1 on the ordinary than the extraordinary4 ,the work of the humblest is as essential to the labor of the highest as is the work of the highest to the labor of the lowliest4 ,michael ,angelo could plan a ,st4 ,peter's2 but the men who climbed up with wood and stone--the hewers of wood and the drawers of water--were necessary to its construction4 ,genius is a slave to labor4 ,says ,smiles1 in his work on ,thrift1 ,genius is but a capability of laboring intensely2 making1 you see1 even talent itself1 and its highest expression1 an outgrowth of work4 ,no simplest task we do but is essential to somebody4 ,slight it1 shirk it1 scorn it1 and somebody suffers4 ,leave the parlor undusted1 and callers are sure to come4 ,wear a stocking with a hole in it1 you will find it necessary to take your boot off before night4 ,there is the greatest need among girls of a more entire consecration to certain humble1 homely1 housewifely duties4 ,the wearing torment of discontent with unassuming work arises not from lack of ambition1 but from scorn of what one has to do4 ,i sometimes think this reaching out after the unattainable is worse for a girl than passive indifference to what she might acquire4 ,a large part of the success a person achieves is dependent upon her thinking her calling the very best in the world4 ,it is not the work which dignifies you3 it is you who dignify the work4 ,the girl who wins honor in medicine1 in literature1 in music1 in engineering1 in astronomy1 in laundry-work1 in cookery1 in needle-work1 ennobles literature1 or music1 or science1 or housekeeping4 ,what worthy pursuit can you not1 by excellence1 raise into honor and esteem8 ,matilda of ,normandy embroidered1 in the quiet of her castle1 stitch by stitch1 and day after day1 the battle of ,hastings1 at which the ,conqueror won4 ,when that great mingling of ,normans and ,saxons proved to be the important and the last step in the making of ,england1 men looked back to the battle which decided the ,norman ,conquest1 and1 lacking needed information from chronicles1 turned to the work of ,matilda4 ,there1 on the ,bayeux tapestry1 was wrought the battle scene they required1--a piece of woman's work4 ,it was a peasant girl1 you know1 who brought victory to ,france in the ,hundred ,years' ,war between that country and ,england4 ,girls and boys have too slight an appreciation of manual labor4 ,in most ways1 work with the hands is more necessary than mental labor4 ,god made man work in a garden before he gave him power to write books or keep accounts4 ,fine white hands are very pretty when they belong to a lady2 but sunburnt1 muscular ones are beautiful in the vineyard4 ,may ,i warn you not to despise the small amount of work you can accomplish1 as compared with what others are able to do8 ,let me remind you1 too1 it is not what we get in money1 buildings1 knowledge1 reputation1 influence1 by means of work1 so much as what labor does for ourselves1 our characters4 ,carlyle expressed the idea in a very short sentence1 ,not what ,i have1 but what ,i do1 is my kingdom4 ,even if our work is spoilt as we near its completion1 and1 instead of gain1 failure awaits us1 we have still been winners in ourselves1 because we have acquired habits of industry1 have made our powers of perseverance stronger1 and have developed physical or mental strength as well4 ,work is never lost4 ,when ,carlyle sat down to write his ,french ,revolution the second time1--a careless servant having burnt his manuscript1--he was a nobler man than when he wrote out the first issue4 ,when ,walter ,scott failed1 and ,abbotsford was encumbered with a large debt1 when his dream of restoring a kind of baronial life was all shattered1 he did a grander work than in the building of that magnificent estate2 for he strove with all the powers of his mind to earn the money which should repay his creditors4 ,though he died in the struggle1 it was not fought in vain4 ,,iv4 ,,what ,,can ,i ,,do8 ,but what can ,i do8 you ask4 ,oh1 ,i hear that so many1 many times1 and ,i feel the deepest sympathy for the girl who asks it4 ,usually1 when the question is put1 there is no marked ability in the asker1--,i mean1 no special power to do a particular work4 ,i have hardly the right to say this1 however1 since we are all endowed in some way1 and each girl must have a work in which she can do better than any other4 ,perhaps1 girls1 you belong to the great middle class1--the people who have no large fortunes1 no particular influence2 and1 maybe1 you think if you only had a rich relative1 or some acquaintance1 who stood in authority1 you might do a good work1 or1 at least1 earn a livelihood4 ,do you remember that this very class of people have been the greatest reformers1 thinkers1 workers1 rulers1 everywhere8 ,the ,united ,states owes its existence to people who had to depend upon themselves4 ,but let us see about this question1 what to do4 ,in the first place1 if a girl has a decided inclination towards this or that honorable calling1 she should foster every opportunity for pursuing it4 ,if she can do a nurse's work better than a teacher's1 and if no home ties of an imperative nature restrain her1 she ought to become a nurse4 ,a large field for the special work of nursing has been opened during late years4 ,in all our prominent hospitals we find training-schools for nurses4 ,the girl who feels she is fairly strong1 and who has a good amount of physical courage1 does a brave deed when she goes into the hospital to become a nurse4 ,when she graduates1 fitted to render service to the sick1 and willing to devote her life to them1 she is a noble acquisition to the world's helpers4 ,if a girl can do most and best as a physician or surgeon1 she ought to be always the doctor4 ,we no longer question the right or ability of women to practise medicine4 ,the time will come when women will be as numerous in the medical profession as men4 ,a girl ought to be very sure of a few things1 however1 before she studies medicine with a view to practising4 ,there are peculiar hardships in a doctor's life1 requiring physical strength1 continuous toil1 strong nerves1 decision1 reticence1 and indifference to unjust criticism4 ,with natures more susceptible than young men possess1 be sure1 girls1 that you are equal to the burdens that weigh so heavily on the shoulders of the boys4 ,if a girl can cook better than she can do other work1 the kitchen ought to claim her4 ,schools of cookery have made of cooking an art to be industriously followed where success is desired4 ,superintendents of cooking are usually reliable persons1 and command good salaries4 ,in a smaller way1 many a girl in town or country can turn her knowledge of cooking to advantage1 by selling her cake1 or jelly1 or pickles1 for a snug little sum4 ,there is a call for such prepared food not only in the industrial rooms of cities1 but in country shops as well4 ,we buy ,miss ,m4's orange cake1 and ,miss ,f4's spiced pickles2 for the one makes her cake1 and the other her pickles1 better1 much better1 than others do4 ,the world always wants the best in small as well as in great things1 and will pay for it4 ,should a girl enjoy the cultivation of plants1 she would be able to give much pleasure to her friends by caring for a private conservatory or window-garden4 ,in this way she could learn much about plants1 and become a successful florist4 ,then1 if there were reasons why she should earn a living1 with a small capital she could gradually work into the cultivation of flowers to such an extent as to make them very serviceable money-makers4 ,sometimes girls have a fondness for fowls1 and like to accumulate pin- money from the eggs hens lay4 ,why should they not give much time to the care of poultry8 try for fine breeds1 and for eggs that bring the highest prices8 ,a good deal has been written recently in relation to the cultivation of the silk-worm as a means of creating an occupation for girls and women1 and as a method of forwarding ,american industries4 ,the results already attained in this work are valuable and highly promising4 ,very earnest women are encouraging its progress1 and will gladly supply any needed information in regard to it4 ,girls1 you will come to see that women of large hearts and generous souls are deeply interested in your welfare4 ,i hope every city has such noble examples of this kind of women as ,boston presents4 ,if you wish to know more about silk culture1 please refer to ,miss ,marian ,mc,bride of the ,boston ,post4 ,i have cited sufficient examples to urge that1 if desire turns a girl to this or that occupation1 she ought to seek it and follow it1 provided1 always1 her judgment is as clear as her wish is ardent4 ,remembering that a lady is such of herself1 whether in a drawing-room or an attic1 behind the counter or in the school-room1 a girl will be of noble worth1 and will become one place as well as another4 ,i do believe in choice of work2 but ,i believe even more strongly in a girl's preserving the eternally womanly1 whatever she does1 and wherever she is4 ,in most cases1 a woman's work and place are in her own home4 ,wherever a true wife comes1 home is always round her4 ,the stars only may be over her head1 the glow-worm in the night-cold grass may be the only fire at her foot2 but home is yet wherever she is3 and for a noble woman it stretches far round her1 better than ceiled with cedar1 or painted with vermilion1 shedding its quiet light far1 for those who else were homeless4 ,footnote3 ,ruskin4 ,as a girl is bound to do what she honestly feels she can do best1 she should never question how her work may seem to another1 if it does not absolutely injure another4 ,i should not ask is this man's work or woman's work2 but1 rather1 is it my work8 ,but1 in whatever ,i attempted1 ,i should repeatedly say to myself1 ,am ,i keeping my womanhood strong and real1 as ,god intended it8 am ,i working womanly8 ,in many cases1 much more good might be accomplished by girls and women1 if1 instead of so much talk about lacking privileges1 they took the places they could fill4 ,sister ,dora never questioned whether she ought to bind up the wounds of her crushed workmen3 she laid them on the beds of her hospital1 and calmly healed them4 ,caroline ,herschel did not stop to ask whether her telescope were privileged to find new stars1 but swept it across the heavens1 and was the first discoverer of at least five comets4 ,a great obstacle in the way of advancement to girls comes from the coarse mannerism of certain women who have worked in given directions4 ,why is it that1 when a woman begins to do the work a man has been accustomed to perform1 she cultivates a man's ways8 ,it is not the work which does it4 ,would that there might be less of this unwomanliness6 ,because a woman is a doctor1 why need she use slang or profanity8 ,because she holds certain great1 liberal truths in regard to woman1 why must she wear a stiff derby1 swagger1 and strike attitudes8 ,these expressions1 extremes in dress1 conspicuous actions1 deceive many1 and turn the world bitterly against what it ought to receive4 ,such peculiarities are wholly unnecessary4 ,some of the loveliest women who walk the earth are found among doctors1 among professors1 among book-makers1 among farmers1 even4 ,you think there is less chance for girls to work than for boys8 ,yes1 there is2 but1 on an examination of statistics1 ,i find that in all positions--professions1 clerkships1 manufactures1 trades1 industries-- where you find men working1 you will find women also1 though in smaller numbers usually4 ,examine the reports of census takers1 and you will find my statement true4 ,in ,mr4 ,wright's valuable pamphlet on ,the ,working ,girls of ,boston1 you will be surprised to find so great a variety of employments as he there enumerates4 ,there are recorded merchants1 machinists1 carpenters1 plumbers1 cabinet-makers1 and tanners1 even4 ,why is it so many of you girls try teaching8 ,is it because that seems a genteel way to get a living1 and does not seem so hard as other callings8 ,in #ahhj there were #h1efb women engaged in teaching in ,massachusetts4 ,of these1 a fourth would probably have done a better work in some other way4 ,teaching is a noble profession3 it has great chances for self-culture and for helpfulness to others4 ,in no profession can one do more good1 if one tries with all one's heart4 ,it is one of the highest callings even for this reason3 a teacher utterly unable to see any results of her labor1 in black and white1 at the end of her pupil's course1 as the book-maker may see in the number of printed pages1 is willing to trust that1 because she has done what she could1 good will come to her pupil4 ,a carpenter may see his house completed2 but the building of mind1 of character1 of manhood and womanhood1 the teacher never may see finished4 ,it passes on into the hands of the great ,teacher of all4 ,although teaching is a very responsible work1 yet does one seldom reach fame in it4 ,the truth is1 fame does not stand for so much work done1 but for so much worldly opinion gained4 ,do not enter this work of teaching to misunderstand or slight it1 but to be proud of it1 and to ennoble it4 ,you feel the necessity of earning money1 and so must take whatever work you can get8 ,alas6 ,i know you do1 many of you1 dear girls4 ,but do not think this so very unfortunate4 ,unless your very life is being worn out2 unless your wages are ground down to a pittance1 and your work is wholly disagreeable1 be thankful4 ,you are as well off as the girls who are languishing with dissipation and ennui4 ,the average girl has the average amount of hardship and blessing in her life4 ,i know there are many girls who cannot be found among the average4 ,if there is no wish on a girl's part to follow a special work1 if she has no marked ability1 let her ask the advice of friends2 but1 more than that1 let her seek1 through her own personal efforts1 some honest work4 ,pluck1 not luck2 the ,yankee1 not the aristocrat1 earn a living4 ,for a girl of average ability ,i think a mingling of manual and mental labor preferable to purely manual or strictly mental work4 ,there are many authors1 journalists1 accountants1 etc41 who have achieved striking success2 but ordinarily this success has sprung from certain brilliant or profound mental attributes4 ,hand labor that requires no thought does not exercise our best faculties4 ,i cannot specify just here what occupations an average girl may undertake4 ,i gladly refer to certain books which contain statistics of work and its profits1 or which suggest occupations3 ,the ,working ,girls of ,boston1 by ,carroll ,d4 ,wright2 ,think and ,act1 ,men and ,women1 ,work and ,wages1 by ,virginia ,penney2 ,what ,girls ,can ,do1 by ,phillis ,brown4 ,my poor girls1 who work so hard1 so very hard1 who seem daily to narrow all enjoyment1 and to give your very existence to factories and looms1 to dry-goods counters and ready-made clothing stores1 who put your eyes out earning twenty-five cents a day1 and sometimes put your souls out trying to keep breath in your bodies one short year more1--what shall ,i say to you8 ,i cannot find the words to tell you what ,i would say4 ,your experience shall not be embittered by being told what to do and what not to do4 ,bear your work as well as you can1 try to find something really good about it1 do not slight it4 ,remember you make the world noble2 and1 if you have an absorbing desire to work in some other way1 watch every little loop-hole of opportunity1 and see if you cannot make it large enough to jump through to a wider field4 ,let us all avoid fickleness1 however1--the doing a little of this and of that3 it is poor economy4 ,to grow up to a work1 to master it1 we must first be slaves to it4 ,girls1 everywhere1 make progress slowly1--grow in efficiency1 and do not shoot up into it4 ,now1 ,i want to talk a little to the girls who have leisure1--so much of it1 sometimes1 that it all turns crazy on their hands1 and expends itself in the last most fashionable excitement4 ,girls too often do things just because other girls are doing them1 never for a moment considering fitness or ability2 consequently they look back upon half- accomplished bits of work--this or that insanity in worsted1 card-board1 wood-carving1 modelling1 or darning--very much as they would upon the broken fragments of an upset dinner-table4 ,away up in that convenient attic lie the desecrated splendors of the past1 scattered in confusion by charitable mice1--blue and crimson wax-flowers melt underneath the eaves1 all destitute of petals that would not fit on2 patchwork quilts and cushions1 in silk and satin distractions1 just fall short of harmony in the arrangement of their squares and colors2 vivid buttercups and daisies mingle with bulky cat-o'-nine-tails1--all on canvas covered with paint2 blacking-jugs adorned with pictures1 embossed and otherwise2 moth-eaten ,kensington1 partly outlined in conventional lilies and conventional stitches2 forlorn-looking cats and dogs on half-made rugs and slippers1--all1 all are there to point out certain very unpleasant morals1 referring chiefly to inability and lack of perseverance4 ,understand1 to excel in worsted1 in painting1 in any of the arts which afford so much pleasure1 even in amateur work1 is highly commendable4 ,perhaps to dip into these occupations to pass time might be considered better than laziness4 ,but to do them simply because others are following them is wholly unwarrantable4 ,i do not believe in crazes1--do you8 ,what is worth doing is worth pursuing4 ,intense interest may be necessary to success2 but extremes make us very abrupt1 inconsistent1 and fickle in our occupations4 ,test the quality of your last attempt to make a tree on canvas before you buy a full set of colors1 and before you put out your sign as an artist4 ,much study1 hard work1 aptitude1 are required by art2--and the phenomenal debut of a fully fledged artist after ten lessons 7the whole art taught in six weeks7 will never be witnessed4 ,i should say1 before passing further1 that even a slight acquaintance with the decorative arts as practised at present appears to be quite improving to one's taste1 and cultivating to the perceptions4 ,music--singing1 playing--is a great accomplishment4 ,would that every girl might know its precious helps1--its sources of amusement and culture1 and the divine mysteries of its art4 ,but unless you can express the musician's thought1 and interpret harmonies by harmony1 never be afraid to say1 ,i cannot play4 ,if the crazes which now threaten to capture society1 and to seriously affect the speech1 work1 dress1 and accomplishments of young ladies1 continue at their present rate1 ,i think there will be a grand chance for escape from them4 ,it will suddenly become the fashion to be tranquil1 plain of speech1 real and thorough in every work4 ,now we strive our utmost to prevent monotony1 and promote variety4 ,the dressmaker's trade we learn in #ahhe will not be of much use in #ahhf4 ,last winter we learned how to cook2 and this1 we are studying how to cure by mental processes4 ,next year we shall go to the gymnasium and tighten up our muscles4 ,after that1 we may open sewing-schools2 and1 perhaps1 later1 turn our attention to literature classes4 ,there are so many things a girl can do1 even when society claims her1-- more than ever1 ,i should say6 ,make work1 if you cannot get it1 girls4 ,encourage poor girls by joining the industrial unions instituted in their behalf4 ,go into the hospitals1 old ladies' homes1 charity bureaus1 flower missions4 ,join a ,chautauqua club1 or one of the societies for the encouragement of studies at home4 ,that one founded in ,boston for home studies1 and which now numbers many hundreds1 affords excellent instruction1 particularly in literature and history4 ,this educational society has done a wonderful amount of good through correspondence1 books loaned1 criticisms1 examinations4 ,attend the numerous lectures1 exhibits1 etc41 which are provided free of expense in all large cities4 ,do not be afraid of useful fancy work4 ,one can rest delightfully while making a row on an afghan1 or knitting on a bed slipper4 ,i always pity a boy who never seems to have any way of occupying himself while he rests4 ,he whistles1 puffs a cigarette1 perhaps1 or whittles away the window-seat4 ,girls have no need of being lazy while they rest4 ,they certainly will not sit in lawless indifference if they know the blueness of discontent4 ,cheerful people are workers2 and1 when they find any tendency to go mooning over their tasks1 they shake themselves into broad daylight4 ,i have suggested but a few of the things girls can do with greatest profit to themselves and to others4 ,form reading associations1 hygiene societies1 relief clubs1 emergency clubs1 horticultural unions1 charity bureaus1 science clubs1 painting clubs4 ,why are they not just as entertaining as progressive euchre clubs8 ,you know a girl never does as well when no incentive is placed before her2 so ,i have hinted at the value of organization for general improvement1 for work1 and for larger usefulness in every sense4 ,the modern sewing-circle1 the missionary associations1 even the temperance organizations in churches1 have frequently been most efficient means of holding churches together4 ,clubs for boys are not so strongly recommended as for girls1 because these associations for young men come to be their dependence for entertainment1 and consume the hours which ought to be spent at home1 or in the society of both girls and boys4 ,club-life in ,england1 particularly ,london1 has taken the place of home-life4 ,now1 the girls need have no fear from their associations1 because they are formed principally to forward the interests of home4 ,work1 then1 girls6 ,work for pleasure1 work for profit6 ,work for the health of your bodies1 and the health of your souls6 ,you will find that the mere resolve not to be useless1 and the honest desire to help other people1 will1 in the quickest and most delicate ways1 improve yourselves4 ,when men are rightly occupied their amusement grows out of their work1 as the color petals out of a fruitful flower2 when they are faithfully helpful and compassionate1 all their emotions become steady1 deep1 perpetual1 and vivifying to the soul as the natural pulse to the body4 ,footnote3 ,ruskin4 ,but whatever your work is1 girls1 do not be in too much of a hurry for great results4 ,if there is any thing in old countries that strongly impresses the ,american mind1 it is1 probably1 the great amount of labor1 the infinite patience1 and the centuries of time1 that were necessary to construct their public edifices4 ,we cannot understand such waits1 such slow progress4 ,on the contrary1 the fact that most impresses the mind of a foreigner in our own streets is the hurry1 impatience1 rush and scramble of ,american life4 ,the people walk along the narrow streets of ,boston with such hurried steps1 such deeply-seamed faces1 such infinite anxieties1 as if they were about to adjust the foundations of the earth1 and had about two minutes to spare before applying the lever4 ,go slowly1 girls1 and your work will last the longer4 ,do not expect to complete your line of reading or study in one winter4 ,do not await a large salary for the first year's work4 ,do not hope to more than initiate a charitable society in one autumn4 ,then try to remember the necessity of concentrating forces1 and of bringing your heaviest action to bear on one point3 too many undertakings dissipate strength and prostrate work4 ,there is a great deal of poor work done now2 and it is said to have been somewhat mediocre so far through the nineteenth century1 because time enough has not been taken to do thorough work4 ,the strong desire is to get to the end of toil4 ,we have hardly time to think what to get for dinner or what to wear2 but we get something to eat when we are hungry1 and go out into the cold wearing a spring jacket4 ,now1 one good1 strong word more for work4 ,we are born to enjoy and use it2 civilization depends upon it1 our womanhood is strengthened by it1 our talents increased1 our chances of happiness multiplied1 and our service in every department of life is made worthier by the doing with our might just what lies before us4 ,v4 ,,what ,,to ,,study4 ,how much girls think they will do when they get out of school6 ,how many books they think they will read6--histories of ,greece and of ,rome1 ,grote and ,curtius1 of ,plutarch and ,gibbon2 histories of ,france1 ,germany1 and ,england1 ,guizot1 ,ranke1 ,green and ,freeman2 biographies of ,caesar1 ,leo1 ,lorenzo1 ,frederick1 ,elizabeth1 and ,napoleon6 ,how they will feed on the literature of modern nations1 from ,chaucer through ,tennyson2 from ,luther through ,goethe2 from ,rabelais through ,victor ,hugo2 from ,bryant and ,irving through ,hawthorne and ,longfellow6 ,how much they will translate from ,homer and ,virgil and ,tacitus2 from ,schiller1 ,racine1 ,fenelon1 and ,moliere6 ,how much philosophy they will read from ,darwin1 ,spencer1 ,huxley6 ,how they will trace the stars in the heavens1 and the marks of ,god's fingers on the rocks and sands6 ,how they will separate into their parts water and air1 plants and animals6 ,how they will haunt the libraries1 museums1 laboratories1 and lecture-rooms6--all when they get out of school4 ,oh1 my dear girls1 you will not do any of these things unless you have much leisure1 and an eager thirst for knowledge4 ,some new fascination-- society and pleasures--or special duties and pressing occupations will drive the fervid desires of your school-days quite from your hearts1 or make it impossible for you to gratify them4 ,at any rate1 in attempting to pursue all these studies1 you will find that neither the ordinary length of life1 nor the average brain1 will be sufficient for the work4 ,your lists of books1 like your lists of intentions1 will serve only to fill the waste-paper baskets4 ,but now let us see what you can do1 girls1 if you will4 ,almost every one of you spends a few hours a week in reading1 and some of you pour away oceans of time over fashionable fiction4 ,why not give just two or three little hours to study1--study so pleasant and so arranged that you may call it reading1 or recreating1 or getting acquainted with the best of all good company8 ,after a while you will find these hours precious and necessary4 ,they will give you rest1 and a greater number of useful and pleasant subjects to think about2 they will afford you broader and readier information2 and they will deepen within you an interest in the highest and most helpful things this life affords4 ,what we get in the average school is largely rudimentary knowledge1 the object of which is to create a love for more knowledge1 to bend our inclinations towards what is true and right1 to prepare our minds for larger duties1--in a word1 to fit us for a noble womanhood and a useful citizenship4 ,now1 suppose you feel more kindly towards natural science than you do towards mathematics2 or suppose you have more fondness for language than for philosophy3 well1 just at this period1 since you are really out of school1 you ought to spend a few spare hours on the object of your favor4 ,you should branch off from the trunk of knowledge1 and flourish mainly in one direction1 when you will find it will take all the time you can give to grow into any size1 and blossom into one kind of fruitage4 ,there are so many things to learn in any department of knowledge1 and the amount increases so rapidly1 year by year1 that1 after a certain measure of general information has been acquired in the schools1 it is almost necessary to make rigid choice of what we shall study1 or of what we shall read4 ,this may be narrowing1 and even superficial1 in one sense1 since it confines our information within one channel1 and prevents it from mingling with the ebb and flow of broader human interests4 ,it may make us too regardless of any pursuit aside from our own1 and bring us to the condition which many a foreigner finds himself in1--that of holding a complete knowledge about his own trade1 but utter ignorance of every other4 ,but ,i think not4 ,if we are really intelligent1 and comprehend the difficulties of the department of knowledge we are working in1 ,i believe we have respect for the department another fills1 though we know nothing of it4 ,of course1 we are always to consider that the study we have chosen is best for us1 and1 therefore1 to be lovingly and jealously followed4 ,i think the method of choosing special studies is the only way of acquiring thorough and accurate knowledge4 ,if you are devoting your odd hours to literature1 it is unnecessary to make pretensions to a knowledge of chemistry4 ,do not be afraid to say1 ,i do not know4 ,we all expect too much learning from one another1 especially elders from younger people4 ,if ,john can tell his father a great deal about surveying1 and ,mary cannot1 no matter3 she can tell them both a good deal about physiology4 ,as far as possible1 in your studying or reading1 group those subjects together which belong together4 ,if you are inclined to the physical sciences1 bring into your work natural philosophy1 general chemistry1 general physiology1 biology1 geology1 and mineralogy4 ,if you desire to know more of one branch of natural science1 as1 for example1 biology1 why not group zoology1 conchology1 anatomy1 physiology1 botany1 microscopy8 ,i would always be careful not to make the group too large1 though learning from one science helps in another4 ,this grouping system is admirable4 ,i believe that an honest observer of the highest institutions for learning in our land1 whether they were founded for the interests of young men or young women1 will remark that there is too small a chance for grouping studies1 and that the opportunities for choosing electives are too few4 ,the ,american idea is1 to get through the academy or college1 and graduate with a diploma1 rather than to pursue a study till such time as those who know most about that branch of learning shall deem a student ready for entrance upon higher work4 ,i must think the ,german universities superior to ours in this respect4 ,life is short1 and we can learn but little4 ,i do not understand why it is necessary to spend several years in the preparation of certain studies for entrance to a college1 when there will be no special use made of them after matriculation4 ,i do not see how the imperative pursuit of science1 for example1 in school or college1 is going to help the girl who is determined to devote future years to literature4 ,why1 of course1 it will not harm her2 but why not be more economical of time and strength8 ,i can see1 and know from experience1 that the elective system is not wholly practical in high schools1 nor for girls and boys who are not yet eighteen years old3 because boys and girls need a stated amount of general knowledge1 which they get in the high schools2 because they are not sufficiently decided in their own minds and feelings1--not sufficiently developed1 mentally1 to really know what is best for them to study2 and because so many boys and girls will shirk the hardest studies4 ,i believe college presidents give these reasons sometimes in regard to their own students4 ,but it is to me incomprehensible that men and women in college should not know what they are there for4 ,if they are working for the name of being college graduates1 it is no matter whether electives are presented to them or not4 ,if they have not any preferences in their studies1 they never will have in life4 ,if they wish for a general broad education1 which fits a student for no special position1 but makes him abler to fill any place in after years1 then only is a general1 rather than a particular1 course to be recommended4 ,in this last case1 the counsel of teachers and friends is indispensable2 but1 even here1 choice is necessary4 ,but1 girls1 ,i am talking chiefly to those among you who have left the high school or academy1 and have reached an age when you have ideas of your own4 ,i shall be glad when it is possible1 in the college or the home1 for every girl1 who wishes1 to follow1 special or grouped studies2 and when she will no longer censure herself because1 outside of elementary knowledge of it1 she is not acquainted with the study her neighbor is pursuing4 ,in the programme of the new ,bryn ,mawr ,college1 ,i have noted1 with a feeling of satisfaction1 the strong recommendations to follow grouped studies4 ,if ,i understand the calendar of the ,university of ,michigan1 and the register of ,cornell ,university1 ,i find in these institutions a broad chance for taking electives and studies which properly belong together4 ,these should be high commendations4 ,there is as much to be said on how to study as on what to study1 yet ,i believe the question may be briefly answered4 ,study so that the ideas of authors may become your own1 though remoulded into such forms as your own character1 reason1 experience and highest thoughts allow4 ,suppose you are studying ,english literature4 ,be watchful1 first1 for the writer's ideas3 be sure you get his thoughts1 not such as some one else says are his1 according to some one's else interpretation2 then observe the manner in which those ideas are expressed4 ,the merits of a literary work lie quite as much in style as in the thoughts which it contains4 ,the cause or purpose of a book1 the thoughts it holds1 its suggestiveness1 its style1 seem to me important points to bear in mind when reading or studying a work4 ,you may be reading ,george ,eliot's ,romola4 ,be sure1 when the book ends1 that you see somewhat the purpose for which it was written4 ,be impressed with its story3 follow its wonderful descriptions1 its analysis of character2 remark the knowledge which was brought to bear in representing that great historical character ,savonarola1 the ,florentine republic1 and the rule of the ,de ,medicis2 be moved by the pathos of the story1 its dignity and beauty2 but remember most1 that she who begins with virtue grows1 though through fiery furnaces of tribulation1 into a radiant1 clear1 crystal womanhood4 ,perhaps you are reading ,dowden's ,life of ,southey4 ,be delighted with the ease1 the charm1 of ,dowden's style3 dwell upon it4 ,consider his fine powers as a biographer1 but be impressed with the unsurpassed diligence of ,southey's life4 ,are you reading ,emerson's shorter essay on ,nature8 ,so peruse it that1 when you go out among the trees and grass and flowers1 you will feel the same kinship with them as did he4 ,history and biography1 the sketch and criticism even1 have been made truly charming of late years by the vividness in which actions have been depicted and characters portrayed1 as well as by clearness and beauty in expression4 ,we turn to an historical work with as much zest as to a romance1 and find in it1 now1 that enthusiasm1 that liveliness1 that interest in human affairs which old historians allowed to be obscured by dates and names4 ,if you are studying ,roman history1 be never so particular about when each battle was fought as about the great causes of the rise of ,rome1--energy1 pride1 deprivation1 hardihood1 union of citizens1 sturdiness1 ferocious perseverance1 courage1 abstinence1 valor3 remark the results attained by these qualities1-- ,rome1 the mistress of the world1 with an empire stretching to the ends of the earth4 ,then note the causes of her fall1--greediness1 wealth1 luxury1 effeminacy1 satiety1 corrupt morals1--and bring the lesson home to your own nation1 and to your own selves4 ,says ,mr4 ,ruskin1 ,it is of little consequence how many positions of cities a woman knows1 or how many dates of events1 or how many names of celebrated persons--it is not the object of education to turn a woman into a dictionary4 ,but it is deeply necessary that she should be taught to enter with her whole personality into the history she reads1--to picture the passages of it vitally in her own bright imagination2 to apprehend1 with her fine instincts1 the pathetic circumstances and dramatic relations which the historian too often only eclipses by his reasoning1 and disconnects by his arrangement4 ,it is for her to trace the hidden equities of divine reward1 and catch sight1 through the darkness1 of the fateful threads of woven fire that connect error with its retribution4 ,if you are studying the natural sciences1 so follow them that you may see more clearly the rocks1 the sea1 the sky1 the verdure of the earth1 the mountains and the valleys1 the rivers and the lakes1--all the creations upon the earth1 as far as you have studied them1--so that a new heaven and a new earth shall be spread before you1 and you shall learn to appreciate more fully the beneficence of ,god4 ,are mathematics your choice8 ,then learn from them the value of stability1 fixedness2 the worth of accuracy in all studies and in all callings2 the power of durability1 especially as it refers to the durableness of right against wrong2 the perfections of forms and symbols2 the truths of reasoning2 the necessity of discipline4 ,are you translating from this or that author8 ,be sure that you are first accurate2 then1 that you have entered into the spirit of the writer and the work1 that your own language is being made more copious1 and fluency of speech or written discourse acquired4 ,the discipline of translating accurately is next in value to that obtained from the study of numbers4 ,the difficulty of turning this accurate translation into the idiom of one's own language is most stubborn4 ,it would be very pleasant for us to talk about the choice of books we ought to make in our reading1 and ,i think it would be quite profitable to hunt up those authorities who have given most attention to the subject of reading4 ,there are many such authorities4 ,david ,pryde1 in his practical papers called ,the ,highways of ,literature1 thinks the true method of dealing with books is1 7#a7 ,to read first the one or two great standard works in each department of literature2 and 7#b7 to confine1 then1 our reading to that department which suits the particular bent of our mind4 ,then he lays down these definite rules1 telling us how to read3 #a4 ,before you begin to peruse a book1 know something about the author4 #b4 ,read the preface carefully4 #c4 ,take a comprehensive survey of the table of contents4 #d4 ,give your whole attention to whatever you read4 #e4 ,be sure to note the most valuable passages as you read4 #f4 ,write out1 in your own language1 a summary of the facts you have noted4 #g4 ,apply the results of your reading to your every-day duties4 ,these rules ought1 every one of them1 to be emphasized in our association with books4 ,in my own experience1 ,i find ,number #d of great importance1 as well as ,numbers #e and #g4 ,i would add1 by way of caution1 that the moment you become weary from reading1 or grow nervous with studying1 you should stop4 ,studying never does harm1 but nervous excitement does4 ,when you have puzzled your brains an hour over a problem in arithmetic1 the probability is that you have ceased thinking rationally1 and are only plunging deeper and deeper into confusion4 ,nervous prostration comes from unreasonable taxation of the brain oftener than from real1 systematic study4 ,i think you will find a little book by ,charles ,f4 ,richardson very helpful in regard to your reading4 ,it is called ,the ,choice of ,books1 and it treats of such subjects as1 ,what ,books to ,read1 ,how ,much to ,read1 ,what ,books to ,own1 ,the ,motive of ,reading1 and other topics of a similar nature4 ,it will make an agreeable conclusion to our thoughts on what to read1 and how to read1 to quote the following from ,richardson3 ,homer1 ,plutarch1 ,herodotus1 and ,plato2 ,virgil1 ,livy1 and ,tacitus2 ,dante1 ,tasso1 and ,petrarch2 ,cervantes2 ,thomas a ,kempis2 ,goethe and ,schiller2 ,chaucer1 ,spenser1 ,shakespeare1 ,milton1 ,bacon1 ,sir ,thomas ,browne1 ,bunyan1 ,addison1 ,gray1 ,scott1 and ,wordsworth2 ,hawthorne1 ,emerson1 ,motley1 ,longfellow1 ,bryant1 ,lowell1 ,holmes1 and ,whittier4 ,he who reads these1 and such as these1 is not in serious danger of spending his time amiss4 ,but not even such a list as this is to be received as a necessity by every reader4 ,one may find ,cowper more profitable than ,wordsworth2 to another the reading of ,bancroft may be more advantageous than that of ,herodotus2 while a third may gain more immediate and lasting good from historical novels like ,eber's ',uarda1' or ,kingsley's ',hypatia1' than from a long and patient attempt to master ,grote's ',history of ,greece1' or ,gibbon's ',decline and ,fall of the ,roman ,empire4' ,each individual reader must try to determine1 first of all1 what is best for himself4 ,in forming his decision1 let him make the utmost use of the best guides1 not forgetting that the average opinion of educated men is pretty sure to be a correct opinion2 but let him never put aside his own honesty and individuality4 ,he must choose his books as he chooses his friends1 because of their integrity and helpfulness1 and because of the pleasure their society gives him4 ,,vi4 ,,english ,,literature ,,and ,,other ,,studies4 ,in the majority of our higher schools1 and probably in the education of most persons1 a deficiency in the knowledge of ,english is to be remarked4 ,now1 if girls are not fond of science1 nor inclined to the study of philosophy1 foreign languages1 music1 or painting1 why do they not follow certain courses in ,english8 ,why do they not study ,english literature1 paying heed to its history1 its rhetoric1 but more especially to the works of its greatest authors8 ,literature is the most cultivating to the mind1 the most necessary to a general education1 and it affords the most pleasure to persons1 no matter what their condition may be4 ,easily pursued1 it requires no capital but time1 and costs no more than a walk to the public library4 ,the liberal educations which some persons have acquired from what they have read in ,english literature demanded only wise choice of books1 time1 and perseverance4 ,i find1 on an examination of the requirements for entrance to college1 that ,english is the least regarded4 ,it rarely goes beyond spelling1 punctuation1 figures of speech1 and the reading of prescribed books1 few in number1 and which do not require a month's study4 ,the absurdity of demanding all the rules of ,latin prosody1 when the student never read a line of the ,deserted ,village1 and probably will not1 through his college course6 ,says one catalogue1 which represents a great institution1 ,a large proportion of those who seek admission to the university are found to be very deficient in their preparation in ,english4 ,it is not surprising4 ,may they be helped before they graduate from the university4 ,in looking over the catalogues of numerous colleges where girls are educated1 ,i have been indeed gratified with the great advantages they present to young women4 ,how ,i wish ,i could enjoy even a few of these privileges1--these opportunities for a higher education6 ,is it not much to be grateful for1 that so many of you girls not only can go to college1 but really do go8 ,i am glad for you all4 ,smith and ,wellesley1 ,boston ,university and the ,annex at ,cambridge1 ,michigan ,university1 ,cornell1 ,bryn ,mawr1 and the rest1 are all magnificent attractions to the student4 ,yes1 indeed6 ,but how ,i wish that ,english--,english literature--was more earnestly pursued in every one of them6 ,within the limits of this talk1 ,i can say but little on the study of ,english2 so ,i shall confine my suggestions to a few courses of reading1 which ,i hope may be helpful to some of you4 ,a knowledge of literature implies an actual acquaintance with the works of authors2 and no lists of names and dates1 no anecdotes1 nor literary gossip1 can take the place of this acquaintance3 but1 to make these works more useful and intelligible1 we should connect history with them4 ,how can ,i fully appreciate the oratory of the ,american ,revolution1 if ,i know nothing of the war between ,england and the ,colonies8 ,how can ,i get the real value out of ,the ,talisman1 ,kenilworth1 or ,ivanhoe1 if ,i have no knowledge of the ,crusades1 of ,elizabeth's reign1 or of that period in ,english history when ,richard of the ,lion ,heart was king8 ,again1 how can ,i understand why any age in ,english prose or poetry was characterized by a peculiar kind of thinkers1 if ,i do not know the history and tendency of that age8 ,why1 in one epoch1 do we have men writing on classical subjects in a way which represents form as more important than matter8 and why1 in another age1 are writers turning from an artificial to a natural style8 ,experience proves that it is profitless to study the formative periods of ,english literature before trying to get acquainted with it in its present condition4 ,one should work backwards1 and not forwards1 in this study4 ,the practice of beginning with ,anglo-,saxon writers1 and studying down to nineteenth-century authors1 is to be utterly condemned4 ,how can ,i hope to like or even comprehend an ,english version of ,caedmon1 or1 later1 ,chaucer1 if ,i cannot yet see the beauty of ,whittier8 ,the history and philosophy of ,english literature are indeed important1 but they are entirely subordinate to the works themselves4 ,english literature was not hatched full-fledged2 its feathers have been growing for centuries2 it did not even fly high till ,elizabeth's reign2 and it has not been prolific till within a century or two4 ,we want to see what the bird looks like full grown1 before we can understand about the embryo in the egg4 ,in the first place1 ,i should get familiar with some very concise manual1 so that ,i might refer to it for guidance2 but my most earnest work should be with certain epochs in literature1 and with special representative authors1 around whom ,i could group other dependent writers1 or such as did not so nearly represent the period ,i was studying4 ,if you are studying epochwise1 why not read choice selections from the prose of the nineteenth century1--some of its masterpieces8 ,get a general notion of the earlier parts of the century by consulting some manual on the subject1 such as ,spalding's ,english ,literature1 chapters ,,xiii41 ,,xv41 and ,,xvi4 ,when you have ascertained that the reviews founded in the first quarter of the century contained the most valuable literature1 read some of the papers in the ,edinburgh ,review1 the ,quarterly1 and ,blackwoods4 ,very good collections have been made from them1 especially in a series of books known as ,modern ,british ,essayists4 ,read1 for example1 ,sydney ,smith's essay on ,female ,education2 one of ,jeffrey's criticisms on the early poets of this century2 an historical or a biographical article by ,alison2 or one of ,professor ,wilson's sketches in his ,recreations of ,christopher ,north4 ,but be most desirous of reading that brilliant essayist1 and that most impressive of contributors to the ,edinburgh ,review1-- ,macaulay4 ,i wish you would read his articles which have special reference to literature1 perhaps in this order3 ,moore's ,life of ,byron1 ,mme4 ,d',arblay1 ,goldsmith1 ,samuel ,johnson1 ,addison1 ,dryden1 ,leigh ,hunt1 ,bunyan1 ,milton1 ,bacon4 ,of miscellaneous essays1 please note ,von ,ranke1 ,warren ,hastings1 and ,frederick the ,great4 ,after ,macaulay1 study ,carlyle1 though only in parts1 reading ,heroes and ,hero ,worship1 and ,burns4 ,the last is especially valuable to you4 ,note ,carlyle's sincerity1 his gospel of work1 his love of ,nature1 his earnestness1 his despair1 his giant intellect4 ,if you are interested in his peculiar merits1 read the ,french ,revolution4 ,read selections from ,emerson2 but always slowly1 carefully1 dwelling longest on this writer's more practical essays1 those which inspire impulses within you to nobler living4 ,realizing how great an influence ,nature has exerted over the prose as well as the poetry of this century1 study ,emerson's two essays on ,nature2 selections from ,thoreau1 especially from ,excursions2 ,kingsley's ,winter ,garden2 passages from ,ruskin1 particularly those written about ,the ,sky1 ,clouds1 ,water1 ,mountains1 ,grass4 ,you will appreciate the critical spirit of this age4 ,though most of the authors so far mentioned were critics1 as well as essayists1 you will find it helpful to read from the following3 ,de ,quincey1 ,hazlitt1 ,hallam1 ,ruskin1 ,whipple4 ,if you can read but one work from ,de,quincey1 take1 instead of a criticism1 his ,confessions of an ,english ,opium ,eater1 the style of which is considered masterly4 ,its sentences are melodious1 its ,english elegant and classical4 ,from ,ruskin1 that writer who founded art criticism1 read those delightful passages brought together in the volume called ,the ,true and the ,beautiful2 and carefully peruse the little book known as ,sesame and ,lilies4 ,hallam ,i should refer to for special information in regard to ,european literature4 ,our own ,whipple will aid you to a knowledge of ,elizabethan learning4 ,next1 read the essays of ,lamb1 such as are included in ,elia4 ,love the quaint1 beautiful spirit of the author2 and take delight in his witticisms1 his reveries1 and playful fancies4 ,perhaps1 just here1 it would be well to introduce ,irving4 ,pay especial heed to his ,sketch-,book1 ,the ,alhambra1 and ,bracebridge ,hall4 ,in order to appreciate the position this writer holds in ,american literature1 and the feeling with which he is regarded1 both in our own country and abroad1 get some knowledge of the condition of our literature before ,irving placed it upon a firm basis1 and learn about the grace and dignity of this man's deportment4 ,appreciate1 too1 the beauties of this author's style in writing4 ,then examine the sketch as it appears in ,leigh ,hunt's ,wishing ,cap ,papers1 ,thackeray's ,roundabout ,papers1 ,curtis's ,potiphar ,papers4 ,you might include under this head such rare bits of prose as you cannot conveniently classify1 as1 for example1 ,dr4 ,brown's ,rab and ,his ,friends1 ,curtis's ,prue and ,i4 ,now look a while at the uses of biography4 ,i think the study of every great author's works should be either prefaced or supplemented by a good biography or correspondence4 ,this necessary aid to literature has been amply afforded by the celebrated ,english ,men of ,letters series1 and also by the ,american ,men of ,letters4 ,the influence of biographies upon your lives you will find of the highest importance4 ,there are other lives than those of purely literary men and women which ,i should recommend4 ,you must have become aware of the great value of historical literature in this age4 ,note what additions it has received from the intellects of such historians as ,macaulay1 by his ,life of ,frederick the ,great and by his ,history of ,england2 as ,motley1 by his ,dutch ,republic2 as ,prescott1 by his ,ferdinand and ,isabella2 as ,alison1 by his ,history of ,europe2 as ,froude1 by his ,life of ,caesar4 ,one can hardly be without such valuable reference-books as ,green's ,history of ,england1 ,freeman's various histories1 and those included in the ,epoch ,series4 ,but1 before reading any of these works1 it would be well to read various essays on how history should be written4 ,there is an article by ,macaulay on this subject1 very brilliantly written1 and truthfully4 ,there are also valuable essays on the same subject by ,froude1 ,freeman1 ,carlyle1 ,emerson1 ,miss ,cleveland4 ,you might profitably combine with this topic of history that of travels4 ,you know works of travel form a large1 and certainly a delightful1 part of our reading4 ,you have doubtless noticed the popularity which fiction always receives4 ,it embraces the majority of the books written in this age4 ,try to study1 in a concise way1 the development of the novel from the time of ,richardson and his immediate followers1 and find its most perfect expression in the works of ,george ,eliot1 ,dickens1 ,thackeray1 ,hawthorne4 ,look a little at the history of the romance previous to this century1 beginning1 if you like1 away back with ,thomas ,malory's ,morte d',arthur4 ,find the best illustration of the romance in ,scott4 ,to such a writer as ,scott you might add ,cooper and ,kingsley1 though the romance is presented by the last writer in but one powerful book1 ,westward1 ,ho6-- at least1 it seems so to me4 ,novelists always require a very just choice of their works4 ,if you start with a novel of ,dickens which does not lead you gradually into an appreciation of his genius1 you will throw the book away in disgust4 ,one needs to be particular about the order in which one reads ,thackeray1 or ,scott1 or ,cooper1 or ,kingsley1 even4 ,i think the same may be said of ,hawthorne4 ,in whatever good novel you read1 be as careful to notice the artistic merits of the work1 the beauties and graces of its style1 as the construction of its story4 ,if you prefer to study the poetry of this century1 you should strive first to gain a knowledge of that which was written in the last quarter of the eighteenth century4 ,you should remark the great changes produced in the minds of writers by the ,french ,revolution1 and note the growing love for freedom of opinion and freedom in government2 also the increasing love for the natural world4 ,then you are ready to begin with a programme like this3-- #a4 ,a ,general ,survey of ,poetry in this ,century4 #b4 ,the ,study of ,nature and ,man4 #c4 ,wordsworth and his ,poetry4 #d4 ,the ,imaginative1--,coleridge's ,ancient ,mariner4 #e4 ,the third ,lake ,poet1--,southey4 #f4 ,the ,history of the ,ballad4 #g4 ,campbell4 #h4 ,the ,narrative1--,scott's ,poems4 #i4 ,byron's ,childe ,harold4 #aj4 ,the ,melodies of ,moore4 #aa4 ,a ,study of the ,beautiful1--,keats and ,shelley4 #ab4 ,various ,secondary ,poets accomplished in ,verse4 #ac4 ,the ,song ,writers4 #ad4 ,the ,victorian ,era4 #ae4 ,tennyson4 #af4 ,woman as ,poet1--,mrs4 ,browning4 #ag4 ,humor in ,verse1--,hood1 ,holmes4 #ah4 ,poetry in ,america1--,bryant4 #ai4 ,longfellow and ,whittier4 #bj4 ,lowell and ,taylor4 #ba4 ,robert ,browning4 ,how delightful it would be to follow a programme which should include only ,american writers1 in either prose or poetry6 ,again ,i feel the necessity of urging you to study these authors for the thought there is in their works1 and for the style in which those thoughts are expressed4 ,make these works text-books and pleasure-books4 ,if you should wish in a more general way to get acquainted with such specimens of ,english as combine the best style with the best matter1 or with such as present either excellency in thought1 or beauty in form1 you might find help in the following selections4 ,i have culled their titles1 for the most part1 from the catalogues of our leading schools and colleges3-- ,chaucer's ,clerk's ,tale2 ,shakespeare's plays1 particularly ,julius ,caesar1 ,merchant of ,venice1 ,macbeth1 and ,the ,tempest2 ,milton's ,paradise ,lost and ,comus2 first five cantos of ,spenser's ,faery ,queen2 ,goldsmith's ,deserted ,village and ,she ,stoops to ,conquer2 ,scott's ,lady of the ,lake and ,marmion2 ,burns's ,cotter's ,saturday ,night2 ,coleridge's ,ancient ,mariner2 ,keats' ,eve of ,st4 ,agnes2 ,lowell's ,vision of ,sir ,launfal2 ,longfellow's ,courtship of ,miles ,standish and ,evangeline2 ,tennyson's ,princess and ,in ,memoriam2 ,whittier's ,snow ,bound2 ,sidney's ,defence of ,poesie2 ,bacon's ,essays2 ,carlyle's ,burns2 ,emerson's ,eloquence2 ,macaulay's essay on ,milton2 ,thackeray's ,henry ,esmond and ,english ,humorists2 ,dickens's ,david ,copperfield and ,tale of ,two ,cities2 ,scott's ,kenilworth and ,the ,abbot2 ,george ,eliot's ,silas ,marner and ,romola2 ,kingsley's ,westward ,ho62 ,irving's ,sketch ,book2 ,ruskin's ,sesame and ,lilies2 ,addison's ,de ,coverley papers2 ,essays of ,elia2 ,longfellow's ,hyperion2 ,whittier's essay on ,the ,beautiful2 ,hawthorne's ,scarlet ,letter and ,twice-,told ,tales2 ,thoreau's ,excursions2 ,leigh ,hunt's ,wishing ,cap ,papers2 ,arthur ,helps's essay ,on the ,art of ,living with ,others2 ,curtis's ,potiphar ,papers2 ,prescott's ,last of the ,incas2 ,motley's ,siege of ,leyden4 ,you will observe these names are given without regard to system4 ,special topics may offer themselves to your mind without reference to an epoch1 as the ,history of ,fiction1 the ,history of the ,drama2 or it may often be most profitable to study the literature of a certain reign or age1--as the ,age of ,elizabeth1 the ,reign of ,queen ,anne1 the ,period of the ,english ,reformation1 the ,revolutionary ,period4 ,another way of studying literature is suggested by those who1 having a general knowledge of it1 devote their hours of reading chiefly to one author1 as1 for example1 ,chaucer1 ,shakespeare1 ,milton4 ,experience proves to me that the study of a certain number of masterpieces1 around which selections of less worth may be grouped1 is the most thorough way to proceed4 ,intimately connected with the study of literature is the science of rhetoric4 ,by means of it we learn to appreciate good style1 we are better fitted to criticise the works we read1 and are certainly made better able to correct our own faults in writing4 ,it is indispensable to the study of ,english literature4 ,as ,i have already stated1 history and literature are closely connected1 yet it is quite possible to study history so that it will have no direct bearing upon literature4 ,it would be an agreeable task to map out here courses in history2 but the work has been so admirably done by ,professor ,charles ,k4 ,adams1 there is really no need of any suggestions except such as are found in his ,manual of ,historical ,literature4 ,in this work you will find the names and descriptions of all the books required to get a knowledge of any historical subject4 ,the author has also given definite courses of reading on historical subjects1 including in his plan all valuable works which border upon the subjects4 ,in history1 as in literature1 the most attractive and thorough way of studying is by epochs4 ,in this connection1 the little histories known as the ,epoch ,series are most valuable4 ,the books are divided into the two general classes of ancient and modern history4 ,each work attempts to give a picture of an important epoch1 and to faithfully discuss the period4 ,the series pertaining to modern history includes ,the ,normans and the ,feudal ,system1 ,the ,crusades1 ,the ,beginning of the ,middle ,ages1 ,the ,early ,plantagenets1 ,edward the ,,iii41 ,the ,era of the ,protestant ,revolution1 ,the ,thirty ,years' ,war1 ,the ,houses of ,lancaster and ,york1 ,the ,age of ,elizabeth1 ,the ,fall of the ,stuarts1 ,the ,puritan ,revolution1 ,the ,age of ,anne1 ,frederick the ,great4 ,i should study these subjects1 and group about them such works1 in history1 biography1 fiction1 or poetry1 as ,professor ,adams suggests4 ,i have not selected for special remark literature1 rhetoric1 and history because you are girls4 ,if this were so1 ,i should have followed the dictates of society1 and added the study of languages4 ,young women and young men need no particular educational differences4 ,it has been proved that girls are as capable of excelling in any study as boys are4 ,let me quote to you the following3-- ,a very common belief is1 that women1 even when studious1 are rather literary than scientific4 ,statistics prove either that they are changing in this regard1 or that the notion is erroneous4 ,the great majority of women at the universities of ,zurich and ,geneva study not letters1 but science and medicine4 ,m4 ,ernest ,legouve reported in a recent competition for fellowships in the ,university of ,france1 ',the papers of the scientific candidates were greatly superior to those of letters4 ,this result contradicts a very general opinion1 which ,i myself have strongly supported1 that scientific studies--the abstract sciences and mathematics--must hold a subordinate place in women's education1 because they are incompatible with the nature of the female intellect4 ,we have been mistaken4' ,in ,england1 ,miss ,ormerod has distinguished herself by her observations on insect life4 ,very recently a paper was read before the ,mathematical ,society of ,london by ,mrs4 ,bryant1 ,sc4,d41 on the geometrical form of perfectly regular cell structure1 illustrated by models of cube and rhombic dodecahedron4 ,in another section1 ,mme4 ,traube ,mengarini studies the function of the brain in fishes2 while1 in our own country1 ,mrs4 ,treat and others have made valuable progress in scientific research4 ,footnote3 ,graphic4 ,,vii4 ,,the ,,commonplace4 ,commonplace6 ,why1 what is commonplace8 ,were it not better to call all things ordinary1 or else nothing common8 ,i suppose the pyramids are commonplace to the ,egyptians1 and ,st4 ,peter's to the ,romans1 drawing forth no words of wonder unless on special occasions2 just as the stars1 in their thronging pilgrimage across the sky1 elicit no remarks from us1 unless one falls out of the procession2 and just as the dawn comes to us unfolding the new day without our ever greeting it1 unless it be heralded with pomp of crimson and gold4 ,travel over the world1 make your path a belt around the earth1 visit all that is wonderful1 and see all races of people1--do this without ever thinking deeply on the objects presented to sight or mind1 and all things will become commonplace1 unsatisfactory1 dull1 dronish4 ,believe me1 girls1 there is nothing commonplace that is worth thinking about4 ,and1 pray1 has ,god made any object which is not worth a thought8 ,are you living in a city1 girls1 surrounded by opportunities for improving your mental faculties2 blessed by association with persons of refinement2 favored with that peculiar culture which only great cities can freely offer in their art-galleries1 their museums1 their lecture-rooms2 and stimulated to do good to the poor about your streets8 ,you are1 indeed1 favored3 your lot is an enviable one4 ,do you live out of town1 and quite removed from the attractions of a metropolis8 ,ah6 your home1 then1 is under clearer skies1 which the city artists can only imitate2 you live amidst the decorations which highest ,nature imparts but to country landscapes4 ,without the especial occupations of city life1 you escape its rush and tumult4 ,you are being taught by slower1 yet as attractive1 methods1 the grand lessons of life4 ,the instruction which comes from woods and streams and hills1 and the intercourse which arises among hearty country people1 are more thorough and more cordial than the brick walls and hurrying crowds of a city can afford4 ,your chances for even aesthetic culture are not to be despised4 ,though you see fewer objects of art1 listen to fewer men of genius1 perhaps are obliged to be less among books1 you learn to know the artistic works more truly1 you appreciate the lecture more fully1 and you remember the books you read longer4 ,is your home by the ocean1 on some sterile length of sand or rock1 and amongst sea-faring people8 ,still1 you are girls to be envied2 for the sea has grand thoughts to tell you1 and the rocks are full of meaning4 ,the bracing air1 the salt breeze1 the impetuous beat of the sea1 must arouse energy within you which even the heat of summer cannot wholly allay4 ,surely1 the hospitable1 the generous-hearted1 people of your town must prove to you the worth of intercourse with them4 ,considering1 now1 the position of a girl in her home1 in society1 in the world1 ,i suppose we must make the confession that a large part of the discontent we have found among girls has arisen from dissatisfaction with their positions4 ,her resources1 her industries1 her pleasures1 are all too narrow for her1 the girl complains4 ,now1 my dear girls1 just think one moment6 ,isn't it rather your ignorance of your surroundings1 your lack of effort to find out everything good and joyful in them1 which have made you discontented8 ,don't you think you may be looking for something above your heads which really lies under your hands8 ,have you made the most of what you already possess8 ,when one has seen ,england and ,france1 then one is seized with an ardent desire to visit ,germany1 ,italy1 ,russia1 and ,spain4 ,when a girl has a watch1 she feels a great longing for a diamond4 ,the means of gratifying one wish are the surest passports to another wish4 ,oh1 yes6 it is well to be dissatisfied sometimes4 ,it is never quite right to be fully contented1 after a noble endeavor2 but do let us stop1 now and then1 to see if our present condition1 and what it brings to us1 have not something in them as good as the future can offer4 ,would it not be a good rule to make1 never to get a new book till we have read the last one we bought2 not to look at the second picture in the gallery till we have some idea of the first we see2 not to climb ,mount ,washington till we have had the view from the hills in our own neighborhood8 ,but ,i suppose you think that persons1 rather than objects1 are commonplace1--that even some girls are so8 ,well1 it may be you have the truth on your side2 but ,i should as soon think of commonplace flowers1 or gems1 or rainbows1 as of commonplace girls4 ,you remark1 ,oh1 she is very ordinary1 is not at all interesting6 ,she is neither cultured1 rich1 stylish1 nor pretty4 ,she is stupid6 ,ah1 girls1 girls1 do you really know what she is1 or what she may become8 ,a girl commonplace6 ,suppose she is not lively1 is not fond of parties1 does not use slang appropriately at all1 is utterly ignorant of the last freak of fashion1 and hardly knows whether her skirt is draped or plain2 suppose she has1 on the whole1 a rather forlorn appearance1 being pitifully unconscious of what is unbecoming in dress1 or gait1 or habit2 suppose1 in fact1 she does not at once show you she has any special faculty1-- well1 ,i have seen such a girl win a prejudiced person completely1 and show that1 though it cost patience to get acquainted with her1 the acquaintance was worth every effort4 ,a girl of this kind often takes us by surprise1 and proves reliable in an emergency4 ,something remarkable is done1 and we want to know who did it6 ,we are amazed when we hear in answer the name of some quiet girl of whom we had never thought much1 and we exclaim1 ,why1 ,i did not know she could do any thing6 ,where did she ever get the courage8 ,i didn't know she had a speck of brains1 or heart1 or any kind of faculty1--no brilliancy to her6 ,yes1 girls1 it must be charming to be brilliant1 to be apt at repartee1 to scatter bright remarks among a company as a queen scatters largess among the throngs on coronation day1 to have a following in society who are like ladies in waiting4 ,oh1 it must be delightful1 for a while1 to be a society heroine6 ,you know just such a girl4 ,she leads a dozen in her steps1 and her remarks are quoted whenever the dozen are together4 ,ah1 she is so much admired6 ,the way in which she lets a stray look hang down over her forehead1 the becoming toss of her head1 the coquettish raising of her eyes1 the shrug of her shoulders1 the ring of her laugh1--the way she does every thing with her pretty face1 her graceful form1--is so lovely6 ,she is such a very bright girl too6 ,yes1 bright is the word now used to distinguish one who is in appearance somewhat more than the average person4 ,but1 girls1 why not say that your friend is pretty1 graceful1 good-natured2 that she dresses becomingly1 is rather cultivated in her tastes2 that she is confident of herself1 and a little conceited and imperious2 that she is quick1 and ready with somewhat pert answers2 and that she is seen at her best in society8 ,in spite of frowns and closed ears1 girls1 ,i am going to insist that all the attractions of a brilliant1 or outwardly beautiful1 girl are as nothing compared with the attractions of character which spring from many a plain1 modest1 quiet girl4 ,are you to wear your choicest attributes as you do your clothes8 ,a sure1 strong arm in danger1 a gentle word in sorrow1 an honest bit of counsel in doubt1 courage in times of trial1 hearty praise in periods of endeavor1--all qualities which have their origin in noble character1--you will come to feel are infinitely better than brilliancy4 ,you will appreciate them in those from whom external beauty has departed1 or you will recognize the loveliness of these characteristics in the ever-living beauty which the soul draws upon faces otherwise plain and homely4 ,cultivate that power of insight which will enable you to look beyond eyes and nose and mouth into the heart and soul of your friends3 then you will see beauty indeed1 then you will know how precious and how beautiful a woman's mind and a woman's character is4 ,then you will understand how the poet writes her song1 how the artist paints her rose1 how the musician meets out harmonies1 how the teacher makes truth attractive4 ,more than this--much more than this--will come from insight4 ,when you have learned to look for inner beauty you will learn to make it your own4 ,behind your lovely faces and your beautiful forms there will be nourished the loftiest ideality of womanhood1 which will make you not only comprehend the worth of another1 but will help you to interpret all that is best and loveliest everywhere4 ,it's very sweet to us to recall that such women as ,alice and ,phoebe ,cary1 ,helen ,hunt1 ,mrs4 ,browning1 and ,jean ,ingelow were able to express in words such beautiful thoughts as could arise only from beautiful souls2 but it is dearer yet to remember that women1 whose numbers cannot be counted1 are living those thoughts by daily acts4 ,learn to lift the cover from the casket of a woman's soul and you shall see jewels that never yet have been exposed to the glance of one who looks for them in sparkling eyes1 in glowing cheeks1 and radiant hair4 ,if there is any thing most sweet and lovely1 any thing which ought to distinguish one girl from another1 it is character4 ,i wish1 as a favor to your friend who now talks with you in print1 since she cannot speak with you face to face1--,i wish you would read an essay on ,the ,beautiful1 to be found among the prose works of ,whittier4 ,there is such delicate admiration of womanliness in it2 there is so much encouragement1 so much love of that beauty which shows itself in character1 rather than in form and presence2 there is such an emphasis put to the truth that from the purity of our own minds and hearts come our knowledge of the beautiful1 and our ability to find the beautiful everywhere4 ',handsome is that handsome does6--hold up your heads1 girls6'444 ,be good1 be womanly1 be gentle1 generous in your sympathies1 heedful of the well-being of all around you2 and1 my word for it1 you will not lack kind words of admiration4 444 ,every mother's daughter of you can be beautiful4 ,you can envelop yourselves in an atmosphere of moral and intellectual beauty1 through which your otherwise plain faces will look forth like those of angels4 ,beautiful to ,ledyard1 stiffening in the cold of a northern winter1 seemed the diminutive1 smoke-stained women of ,lapland1 who wrapped him in their furs1 and ministered to his necessities with kindness and gentle words of compassion4 ,lovely to the homesick heart of ,park seemed the dark maids of ,sego1 as they sung their low and simple song of welcome beside his bed1 and sought to comfort the white stranger who had 'no mother to bring him milk1 and no wife to grind him corn4' ,oh1 talk as we may of beauty as a thing to be chiselled from marble1 or wrought out on canvas6444 what is it but an intellectual abstraction1 after all8 ,the heart feels a beauty of another kind4 ,looking through the outward environment1 it discovers a deeper and more real loveliness4 ,girls are so often afraid of the commonplace in people that they will not marry unless some one1 with a true or false claim to distinction1 offers himself4 ,we have seen quite a company of girls charmed with the de or the von attached to a man's name4 ,every foreign capital can show its scores of ,american girls who have made themselves ridiculous by giving up property1 home1 ,american ideas1 and ,american ways1--alas6 by giving up much that stands for character1--for the sake of marrying a pendant to a moustache1 said moustache belonging to a worn-out title1 and being in need of money to keep its ends waxed4 ,why1 girls1 just think6 a hundred thousand dollars for the privilege of being called the wife of ,monsieur le ,comte de ,rien1 and of living1 eventually1 in an attic on the outskirts of ,paris6 ,why is it that if a young man has not certain points of distinction in the way he combs his hair1 wears his collar1 or affects the ,english gentleman1 some of the girls hesitate about receiving his attentions8 ,if they do finally accept his kindness1 they feel obliged to excuse his commonplace appearance1 and exclaim to their friends apologetically1 ,but1 then1 he is really good at heart1 you know1 and very agreeable6 ,oh1 pride is a valuable characteristic sometimes1 but is one of the worst of evils when it tries to despise the ordinary4 ,do you not think we should all be happier1 girls1 if we took more time to appreciate the commonplace8 ,i have observed in the lives of great naturalists1 that not only the stone which all other builders had rejected became the head of the corner in their temple of knowledge1 but that the most patient observation of simplest things was the material out of which the edifice was made4 ,thoreau wanted to account for the fact that when a pine grove is cut down an oak forest often grows up2 so he went1 each year1 to visit a pine lot in ,concord4 ,in his earliest observations he could see nothing except pines2 but1 burrowing around in the leaf-mould1 he found1 at last1 tiny oaks an inch or two high4 ,year after year he visited the grove2 still he could observe no special growth of the oaks4 ,finally the grove was cut down4 ,up sprang the tiny oaks1 and flourished in the light and sunshine now freely admitted to them4 ,thick and tall1 they grew into a very forest1 and the pines had never a chance to rise up and crowd them out4 ,do you think the naturalist's search stopped then8 ,oh1 no6 ,he next found out how the tiny oaks came among the pines2 he inquired into the habits of squirrels as planters1 into the character of winds and birds as farmers and bundle-boys2 and was at length able to account for the succession of our forest trees4 ,the commonplace will never advance to meet us2 but have faith in its intrinsic merit1 look for beauty1 and you will find it4 ,could you predict that from the plants lying in the stagnant pool such a perfect flower as a lily would spring8 ,if you were passing a low1 thatched cottage made of rough stone1 its only pretence being a coat of whitewash1 would you guess it held a poet8 ,and1 if you were riding along in a horse-car1 interested only in the foreign-looking faces and the remarkable clothes1 would you be likely to know that a great philanthropist sat beside you8 ,no1 not unless you had learned to observe more wisely than most girls2 and not unless you had found out the noble worth of certain ordinary men and women whose faces are not pictured in books1 nor raised on medallions4 ,how cautious we ought to be in forming our judgments6 ,have you never made the mistake of replying carelessly to one whom you thought was stupid1 but whom you discovered to be a person of marked ability8 ,the older we grow1 the more we are amazed at our lack of good sense in framing an opinion of those whom we meet4 ,we are so frequently surprised at what persons do or become1 we feel we can never be sure that any one is common1 or of the every-day sort4 ,we almost believe ,novalis speaks the truth when he says1 ,we touch ,heaven when we touch a human body4 ,let us remember then1 girls1 not to trust our first impressions4 ,in forming our judgments let us be very sure our knowledge is sufficient to tell which are the sheep and which are the goats1 before we begin to separate them4 ,just once more let me insist on the necessity of training the observation for enjoyment of the commonplace4 ,we call things stupid1 dronish1 monotonous1 because our faculties are not sufficiently exercised to see any other qualities in them4 ,do you not suppose an artist sees more in a birch swamp than we do8 ,is not even he likelier to be successful in painting new wonders in the commonplace than in trying to show objects we seldom see8 ,have you never noticed ,albrecht ,durer's drawing of ,praying ,hands8 ,look at a photograph of it1 please4 ,is it not wonderful8 ,we cannot describe all the feeling those hands suggest4 ,if you had passed them on the street1 you would not have noticed them1 unless to remark that they were grimy1 perhaps1 or lean4 ,the great ,german artist saw them folded in prayer1 and heard all the language of a despairing soul as it came out in the expression of those hands1--wonderful hands1 instinct with spirit4 ,look at them again1 girls4 ,we talked about commonplace duties when we spoke of work4 ,let me repeat here that life is made up of commonplace deeds4 ,we do not have great national disturbances every day2 and the surest proof that we have greater need of common events rather than startling ones1 ordinary duties rather than extraordinary1 is1 that the moment we scorn an ordinary occurrence1 or omit a daily duty1 we find ourselves and every one else miserable1 for a while1 at least4 ,we are stopping a part of the machinery necessary to human happiness4 ,let us not despise the lowliest duties4 ,george ,macdonald1 the writer who has given strength to the souls of so many people1 was contented to write1 ,if ,i can put one touch of a rosy sunset into the life of any man or woman1 ,i shall feel that ,i have worked with ,god4 ,do you begin to think1 girls1 ,i would have you always prosaic1 plodding1 self-satisfied1 unambitious8 ,oh1 no6 do not understand me so4 ,why1 ,i believe that even dreaming about doing1 and seeing1 and having things is sometimes very helpful1 and not at all inconsistent with the commonplace4 ,it is almost necessary for some people to build air-castles4 ,they get more real pleasure in them than they would from real castles on the ,rhine1 the ,danube1 or along the rivers of sunny ,france4 ,have you never read ,curtis's ,prue and ,i8 ,ah1 how beautiful it is to be dreaming about a future1 though it may never come true6--to be floating on the sunset tide of ,venice2 to be journeying over the passes of the ,alps in summer1 and always approaching ,mount ,blanc2 to be resting by the fountain in ,alhambra's ,court of ,lions2 to be gazing at the ,sistine ,madonna in ,dresden1 or at the ,ascension in the ,vatican2 to be dosing in an orange grove in southern ,california2 to be awed by the deep canons of the ,colorado1 or to be filled with the sublimity of the ,yosemite6 ,how glorious to be dreaming of what we will do when we are women with wills and purses all our own6--with long rows of books in our libraries1 elegant pictures in our drawing-rooms1 and oh6 such beautiful boudoirs1 all1 all of our own2 or1 at least1 a room which shall be a sanctum sanctorum1 where the fire on the hearth never smoulders1 and where loving friends1 beautiful mementos1 and peaceful thoughts make us always happy4 ,how fine to fancy longings achieved1 and present desires gratified6 ,all dreams1 yes2 but they do sometimes come out better than true4 ,the only thing wiser than dreaming is doing1--working in such a way as to bring the distant near1 and getting out of the veriest commonplaces the joy we fancied lay only in the future1 in other lands1 or only in dreams4 ,build castles and dwellings out of the commonplace1 and you shall see them shine with splendor1 and glow with beauties which can never be exhausted4 ,she alone is rich who has estates in her soul4 ,,viii4 ,,moods4 ,blues1 dumps1 megrims1 odd spells1--do they ever visit you8 ,drive them out of doors2 chase them down the yard1 over the fence1 up the tree1 till they go riding off on their own broomsticks1 or vanish in thin air6 ,if ever they come tapping on your window-pane again1 don't open the casement2 but turn your backs1 stop up your ears1 laugh as loud as you can1 then seize the first piece of work which waits to be done4 ,these demons are afraid of a laugh2 and when they have the least suspicion that a smile wreathes the lips of a mortal1 they will slink away and coil up in remote corners4 ,they are equally alarmed by work1 because it puts an armor of steel all over their opponents4 ,this coat of mail is absolutely impenetrable1 though blue imps should hurl their arrows of torture forever4 ,but1 beware6 ,do not stop to think work and good cheer will put these creatures to flight4 ,sing your song1 laugh your laugh1 and make work1 if none is at hand4 ,then only will these poor miserable prowlers shrivel up and crawl under ground4 ,what are gloomy moods good for8 ,what are they not bad for8 ,why are we always making excuse for entertaining such company8 ,if we are ashamed of them1 let's send them packing1 as we would any disreputable visitors1 such as cheats1 biting dogs1 or poisonous insects4 ,how weak is our apology for enduring moods1 when we blame some person1 long since dead1 for handing down to us an inheritance of megrims6 ,we need not accept such a legacy1 though of course we must fight very hard to resist its allurements4 ,it may be convenient enough to censure inheritance for this or that oddity4 ,our grandmothers had strange moods1--spoke to people on some days and did not speak on other days1--so we have diligently doubled our bequest1 and have spells odder yet1--find our friends quite delightful for a week or more1 and then as distasteful for a still longer time4 ,the patrimony of evil can be1 and will be1 shamefully increased with every new generation1 if good sense1 sound principles1 and a cheerful heart do not constantly defend the right and strive to annihilate inheritance4 ,i am not going to discuss this matter of inheritance1 girls1 for there is much in it not well for us to consider at present4 ,we are simply to remember to preserve and increase the good left us1 and fight to the utmost all evil that may have come from ancestry4 ,every girl has peculiar forms of temptation2 and what is hard for one to resist is easy for another to repel1 because to the latter it is no temptation4 ,if moods1 grim moods1 are worth any thing to us1 they are simply worth conquering1--merely valuable for the strength we get from their defeat4 ,plainly1 it is our selfishness1 our indulgence1 our idleness1 our vanity1 which make us allow such wretched company within our walls4 ,see what wily creatures the blues are6--full of conceit6 ,they grow powerful while looking at us4 ,they are like those little wood creatures which can take the hue of the tree on which they rest1 so that for a long time we do not perceive them4 ,they sit beside us by hundreds when we fancy we are alone2 and change their colors and their wheedling tones to suit our inclinations1 while they pour into our ears deceitful whisperings that the world is all wrong1 and we are all right1--the vile flatterers6 ,they paint all our surroundings with dark colors1 make all our pictures ,mater ,dolorosas or ,st4 ,sebastians1 turn all our music into requiems1 and all our books into ,stygian epics4 ,i cannot think there is any thing much more destructive to human happiness than the blues4 ,i wonder how they ever came by their name8 ,it must have arisen from the weirdness of the tempest1 from the changing hues of the snake's skin and the lizard's back1 from the blue of sharp steel1 from lighted brimstone1 and from driving sleet4 ,now1 girls1 why do you1 of all people in the world1 allow yourselves to be mastered by freaks8 ,do you not have troubles8 ,of course you do1--real troubles1 which are full of pain and discouragement4 ,your feelings are so acute1 you are so susceptible1 ,i do not see why a sorrow should not be deep with you4 ,but with your vigor1 your pure affection1 your generous impulses1 with all the future before you in which to keep on trying1 ,i cannot understand why you should hug such a phantom as a mood4 ,just think again how dangerous gloomy moods are1--how bold6 ,why1 with the least hint at an invitation1 they will come in1 not for a call1 nor for one meal1 but to stay and stay1--the impudent creatures6 ,and such despoilers as they are while they remain6 ,they eat you out of house and home1 they even take away your own appetite1--the harpies6 ,they make you cross1--yes1 ugly4 ,they bring frowns1 tears1 and age into your faces1 and they banish all loveliness to the ends of the earth4 ,oh1 do not let them in6 ,when you come home tired out1 your energy all gone1 your patience exhausted1 why1--rest4 ,do not think you are desolate1 that everybody has deserted you1 and that fate1 destiny1 grim despair1 are all after you4 ,you are tired and need to go to bed1 or to engage in some light talk which will rest you but at the same time occupy you4 ,read the newspaper1 build aircastles1 hope with all the combined powers of your fancy4 ,if the clouds of misfortune pile up1 and it pours bad luck1--mother scolds because you did not sweep your room carefully2 father threatens because of an approach to familiarity with the new young man over the way2 brother frets because his stockings are not well darned2 lessons all went wrong in the morning2 your best friend said a careless word to you2 you have broken the main-spring of your watch1 and spilt coffee on your new dress1--why1 these are all trifles6 ,i know a good many bad trifles coming together are worse than a misfortune2 but the best way to prevent them from bringing on dejection is to let in such a flood of light and determined cheerfulness as to drown out despair4 ,mr4 ,emerson1 in an essay on ,behavior1 tells a capital story about a man who was so bent on being cheerful he put to shame the torments of hell itself4 ,it is related of the monk ,basle1 that1 being excommunicated by the ,pope1 he was1 at his death1 sent in charge of an angel to find a fit place of suffering in hell2 but1 such was the eloquence and good humor of the monk1 that wherever he went he was received gladly1 and civilly treated1 even by the most uncivil angels2 and1 when he came to discourse with them1 instead of contradicting or forcing him1 they took his part1 and adopted his manners1 and even good angels came from far to see him1 and take up their abode with him4 ,the angel that was sent to find a place of torment for him attempted to remove him to a worse pit1 but with no better success2 for such was the contented spirit of the monk1 that he found something to praise in every place and company1 though in hell1 and made a kind of heaven of it4 ,at last the escorting angel returned with his prisoner to them that sent him1 saying that no phlegethon could be found that would burn him2 for that1 in whatever condition1 ,basle remained incorrigibly ,basle4 ,the legend says his sentence was remitted1 and he was allowed to go into heaven1 and was canonized as a saint4 ,do not give away one day to despair3 better lose it in idleness4 ,when friends seem careless of you1 when poverty encroaches1 when suffering ensues from wrongs others have done1 when sickness or any kind of calamity besets you1 and when you are hunted to the verge of gloom1 cling to the ropes which hope suspends about you1 and they will surely pull you back from the abyss4 ,these trials all have their uses4 ,and1 pray1 be mindful of the way you look at things4 ,do not try to see evil3 have on your kind eyes1 magnify every dot of goodness4 ,in all things throughout the world1 the men who1 look for the crooked will see the crooked1 and the men who look for the straight will see the straight4 ,footnote3 ,ruskin4 ,try especially to see what is good in your own lot4 ,if you have not fine carpets1 luxurious chairs1 fresh bouquets every morning1 remember you can better appreciate a cane- seated rocker when you are tired1 a well-swept floor which has a rug or two1 and a single flower purchased with well-earned money4 ,as ,i suggested in the beginning1 work is as sure a cure for dejection as cheerfulness is4 ,why1 ,i have seen one hour's solid labor eat up all the blue tribe which had been hatching and hatching by millions4 ,sometime will you read from ,carlyle's ,past and ,present his chapters on work1 particularly that on ,labor and ,reward8 ,mr4 ,carlyle has written much that is unintelligible to most readers4 ,he has a very grotesque1 volcanic style not good to imitate4 ,he is often sad and hopeless about the human race1 but he knew from hard experience what work could do against despair4 ,so1 in spite of his ravings1 notwithstanding his eruptive style1 and his sorrow for what is1 he has given us1 in a masterly piece of prose1 this noble ,gospel of ,work4 ,his sentences1 alive with enthusiasm1 and terrible in their seriousness1 contain great reaches of thought1 poetry1 prophecy1 like that of the ancients2 and all are full of the praises and rewards of labor4 ,consider how1 even in the meanest sorts of labor1 the whole soul of a man is composed into a kind of real harmony the instant he sets himself to work6 ,doubt1 ,desire1 ,sorrow1 ,remorse1 ,indignation1 ,despair itself1 all these like hell-dogs lie beleaguering the soul of the poor day-worker1 as of every man2 but he bends himself with free valor against his task1 and all these are stilled1 all these shrink murmuring far off into their caves4 ,the man is now a man4 ,the blessed glow of labor in him1 is it not as purifying fire1 wherein all poison is burnt up1 and of sour smoke itself there is made bright1 blessed flame6 ,doubt of any kind can be ended by action alone4 ,what makes us blame the weather so much for our moods1 girls8 ,the day is gray everywhere1--in the skies1 on the trees1 in the air1 on the ground1--and gray in us therefore4 ,ah6 but these gray colors are beautiful1 even in ,november and ,december4 ,in their variety they are soft and shimmering on the tree branches1 a slightly ruddy gray on the branchlets1 and a serener gray on the tree trunks4 ,overhead1 even when a storm is gathering in the sky1 there are the colors of the moonstone tinting into silver1 and shading into pearl and blue4 ,on the ground are delicate wood-colors1--umbers1 siennas1 greens toned down to gray4 ,the atmosphere1 from its lack of sunlight1 only sets off the more visibly beautiful forms of trees and branches4 ,no1 the day is not moody3 we are4 ,we are not in harmony with her1 but have arrayed our-selves against her4 ,when we are at one with ,nature we have great peace2 when fretted and unmindful of her presence1 we are irritated1 and out of our true element4 ,in our megrims we have found something whose defenceless condition we think ought to bear the burden of our misery4 ,well for you the weather affords a chance for an excuse2 for a moody girl on a bright ,june morning1 when all ,nature is radiant with beauty1 is the veriest parody on life1--worse than that1 a sad mockery4 ,if you are very sensitive1 do not censure yourselves too severely1 nor foster distrust2 for the latter is worse for you than self-conceit4 ,be sure to make the blues as dangerous as possible2 be always mindful of their direful attacks4 ,some one asks me1 just here1 if she is never to feel serious8 ,of course she is to have very thoughtful hours6 ,the merely gay1 happy-go-lucky kind of a girl is not the most helpful1 nor the most valuable4 ,there is very deep happiness sometimes in thoughtfulness1--do you not know it8 ,what makes you quiet when you row in and out of the shadow-filled coves along the river-border1 or when you drift among the islands purple with sunset light8 ,what makes you want to shut your eyes1 and to throw away the mask of seeming1 when some one sings the song you love8 and what makes you feel a kind of dead1 low1 dreadful pause1 when the reader's voice ceases1 and the story conies to an end8 ,are you moody8 ,no2 only resting4 ,your being is suspended in thought1--thought so serious yet so delicate1 so subtle1 you cannot weave it into words4 ,sometimes1 to be sure1 a girl who is determined to be morbid will distort such serene feelings into moodiness2 but1 then1 these sudden spells of dejection are only distantly related to the real blue urchins4 ,perhaps1 girls1 it will be better for you if you make up your minds early in life that your lot will probably be about like that of the average girl1--that trouble must come1 and even a skeleton must hang and gibber behind your door2 but that1 be the skeleton what it may1 you will nail the door back on the unsightly thing1 clothe it in some decent garments1 and make it as respectable as possible in its niche1 since it must stay with you4 ,events1 decrees1 circumstances1 will not change for just you and me2 but we can change ourselves1 and so defeat them4 ,do not mind untoward circumstances4 ,seize hold of ,god's hand1 and look full in the face of ,his creation1 and there is nothing ,he will not enable you to achieve4 ,a crust with contentment is better than a pudding with the bitter sauce of discontent4 ,oh1 ,i know1 girls1 it sounds very much like dull preaching4 ,but1 really1 do we enjoy moods8 ,do we have any respect for ourselves while in them8 ,aren't we always trying to blame some one else8 ,shocking business1 hunting up scape-goats6 ,just see how you look when you have given place to these evils4 ,you respect beauty3 you would resent any criticism on your personal appearance at a party2 but if one should truly describe how careless1 how unmindful of beauty in looks or beauty in disposition1 how ugly you are1 when in this deplorably moody state1 you would shun your very self1 and want to get out of your body somehow4 ,you watch a girl who has an attack of the megrims4 ,she seems to hang from her shoulders1 or thereabouts2 her nimbleness is gone2 her muscles seem flabby2 she reels more than she walks2 she picks up a book to let it fall down2 she will not look her neighbor in the face2 the meaning has all gone out of her eyes2 her mouth is the only expressive feature2 her lips are either tightly pressed or curled in scorn2 there is a don't-care look all over her1 and it lurks in the folds of her dress1 in her slouching hat1 her unbuttoned coat1 and in her shambling gait4 ,sometimes the picture is quite the reverse4 ,the muscles seem tense and powerful4 ,the eye is set and firm1 ferocious in fullness4 ,the step is quick and heavy4 ,the strength is doubled1 and every object has to yield to the ugliness which attacks it4 ,the form appears to gather passion more and more with each hour1 till1 at last1 full of violence1 the human frame sways1 heaves1 and the girl breaks her mood into a flood of scalding tears4 ,the contest is fierce while it lasts4 ,it is dreadful to see beauty put on such deformity1 but let us be thankful it is soon over4 ,if the lightning does not strike anywhere1 perhaps all will be clearer after the storm4 ,these violent squalls are not to be compared with those periods of long1 low mutterings1 nor with those seasons of painful silence1 hours of uncertainty1 which at times cloud so many girls4 ,why1 the moods of some persons are like yellow days1 dark days1 and judgment days4 ,a girl shuts herself up for an afternoon1 for a day1 for two days ,a stone sepulchre is all about her1 and she only reaches out of it when she wants bread and water4 ,she1 herself1 does not seem to be in her body3 she is a ghost4 ,when we pass by her tomb-like body1 perhaps a head will nod to us1 or lips will mutter monosyllables4 ,if our dress touches her garments we feel like begging pardon1 ,a kind of horror and at the same time a sort of pity invade us1 yet we are paralyzed and cannot help her4 ,i hardly think the word is employed by lexicographers with this meaning1 and ,i apologize for using the expression2 but this kind of an odd spell is what ,i call smudging4 ,it seems so strange that a girl can use her will so powerfully about controlling others1 and yet remain herself the dupe of an unkind mood4 ,to be sure1 there are causes for ill-humor arising nearly every day1-- ill-health1 poverty1 sorrow1 cares that haunt and harrow1 unaccomplished desires1 ungratified longings2 but the indulgence of dejection1 the lack of resistance to a mood1 only increase hardship4 ,how is the doctor to help your body1 if you do not help your spirits8 ,how are your surroundings to be improved1 if you do not go to work8 ,how are you to get work1 if you do not seek it1 and try with all your might to find it8 ,how is trouble to be lessened or endured1 if from it we do not reach to higher1 nobler living8 ,the way out of trouble is not through despair4 ,hope unlocks the temple doors1 ,despair rusts the keys4 ,each must know her own anxieties best2 but the trials of all1 we shall sometime see1 are but bitter on the outside1 sweet and nourishing within4 ,believe in the sometime4 ,,ix4 ,,womanliness4 ,there is something in woman fascinating to woman herself1 and something in a girl irresistibly attractive to a girl herself4 ,mere words being unsufficient to express the emotion caused by this charm1 a girl makes use of a large force of ejaculations1 utters her indescribable ,oh's6 and ,ah's6 in every variety of crescendo and diminuendo1 and emphasizes her pitch with gestures that point her meaning1 till not the slightest doubt exists that she has been impressed by something wonderful4 ,she does not know1 indeed1 just what it is that makes ,sallie ,henderson so delightful2 but ,oh1 she is per-fect-ly lovely6--too sweet for any thing6 ,now ,i think the quality which so attracts is womanliness1 the most desirable of all the gifts a girl is permitted to cultivate4 ,all the littlenesses in the social customs of girls2 all their raw1 untrained1 ungenerous acts1 their indulgences1 their prejudices1 are the weak and despised signs of unwomanliness4 ,womanliness is not primness1 let me be understood4 ,the straight1 smooth hair1 the folded hands1 the demure face and exact deportment from ten years of age to eighty1 do not always indicate womanliness2 nor does the attempt to turn young girls into elderly women produce it4 ,so many patchwork quilts1 so many hand-stitched shirt-bosoms1 so many worsted stockings1 made before a girl is fourteen1 are so many quilts1 bosoms1 and stockings more than she will make when she is forty4 ,hours for sewing1 for helping in the home1 for studying1 are necessary to even children1 because industry1 patience1 application1 and system must be encouraged in earliest years2 but the hours girls spend in the house doing things neatly and in order1 as their grandmothers did before them1 ought to be balanced by hearty exercise in the fresh air1 by seasons of mirth1 and by freedom from restraint4 ,the out-of-door exercise1 the gayety1 the deliverance from tasks1 are quite as necessary for older girls as for younger ones4 ,there is a value to be placed on the very trappings of girlhood which do not in the least interfere with womanliness4 ,at sixteen or eighteen1 perhaps at twenty1 a girl can toss a jaunty little felt hat upon her head1 pin it in a twinkling above her wayward hair1 tie on a bit of blue or red somewhere about her blouse1 tuck in her handkerchief in a pardonable way1 brush her short walking-skirt into becoming folds1 tie up her tennis shoes1 and there she is in five minutes1 prettier1 fresher1 more becomingly dressed than all the older women of the household1 who have been standing before the mirror trying this effect and that for the last hour4 ,ask a girl how she does it1 how she manages to make her hat bend down and up1 and in and out1 in all kinds of alluring ways1 and she does not know1--it belongs to girls to do such things4 ,of course it does6 ,whatever they do must be bewilderingly charming sometimes1 because they are girls4 ,you know1 when we buy choice roses from the gardener1 we are always particular to select those just approaching blossom4 ,a delicacy1 and yet a richness of color and fragrance are upon them2 a brightness and yet a tenderness in tone1--the bloom is there more soft and beautiful than in the fully opened rose4 ,that bloom and color1 that tenderness and dreamy softness1 that richness and freshness1 are yours1 dear girls4 ,yes1 indeed6 there is something charming in a girl simply because she is a girl4 ,it is in the ring of her laugh1 in her irony1 in her frankness or her coyness1 in the way she does the commonest things1-- puts on her scarf1 or catches hold of your arm1--things that only too soon disappear in conventionalities1 ceremonies1 and proprieties4 ,but there is no need of this change as concerns much that is now called only girlish4 ,the womanly element is the main quality to be nourished into greater perfection1 but only the weakness of girlishness is to be excluded from character4 ,girls are to grow wiser1 and to avoid what must bring harm1 but still to keep the attractive freshness of maidenhood4 ,some of the most delightful women we meet are those who can be girls with girls1 and women with women4 ,the young do not lose their respect for them because they appreciate them1 nor do elders lessen their regard for these women because they have kept the loveliness of girlhood4 ,girls1 ,i am not trying to defend you3 your girlhood needs no such effort2 but ,i do want to make you all feel that the very sweetness of your natures1 the loveliness of your lives and conduct1 your attractive grace1 which ought to strengthen with years and become something more than beautiful1--become divine1--is womanliness4 ,god did not make all the girls beautiful1 strong1 or intellectual2 but ,he did make them all capable of becoming womanly4 ,you may well doubt this ability the next time you see an intelligent and pretty girl avoid the glance of a former friend who is now miserable and weak2 and you may question its very existence in the wretched and outcast one4 ,ah6 but who can judge1 or even know1 the inner life of one's past acquaintances8 ,it is not for you1 nor for me1 to slight1 to scorn1 to condemn the fallen4 ,of this we are sure1--that no beauty1 no intelligence1 can compare with womanliness2 and that no girl1 weak and wicked as she may be1 is utterly lost to a return to womanliness4 ,may ,i here appeal to you1 dear girls1 to hasten this return8 ,may ,i urge you not to slight even the sinful8 ,as you are girls with most precious endowments1 remember to encourage the growth of these gifts in other girls4 ,then will womanhood seem even more blessed than now1-- when girls defend it and purify it4 ,a girl may have all the privileges that a boy has2 a woman1 all the rights that a man now has in excess1--pray1 do not let us stand in the way of such favors6--but the fact remains that woman is not undeveloped man1 but diverse2 and the one thing she owes to the world1 to herself1 to her ,maker1 is a reverence for her own sex4 ,girls1 ,i repeat1 you cannot sufficiently realize your obligations to your own kind4 ,because you are girls and not boys1 women and not men1 oh1 try to be loyal to girls and women6 ,pay homage to womanhood2 adorn it1 place sacrifices upon its altars1 rejoice in unceasing service to it1 exalt it by every worthy endeavor6 ,this reverence for woman is the first and truest step towards womanliness4 ,when this has not been taken1 and a girl is therefore unkind to her social inferiors out of fear of what rumor will say1--the fume of little hearts1--,i blush for an indecent girlhood1 and ,i grieve for an unpromising1 unchristian womanhood4 ,we know that encouragement1 not intimacy1 the gentle rebuke of a bow or a greeting1 are more helpful to arouse the sparks of womanliness than the cold stare or averted head4 ,next to the respect of woman for woman1 comes the regard of woman for man1--a deference 7when physical1 mental1 or spiritual strength in man demand7 that is due from her who1 constituted differently1 has greater power to pay respect and gratitude1 to honor and love4 ,gentlemanly boys and men have a right to expect you to be refined1 courteous1 agreeable towards them in all the ways of ladyhood1--not that they are your superiors1 but your helpers3 made after a different pattern1 but still your sincere friends4 ,the womanly in girls implies the lady1 no doubt1 more than the manly in man indicates the gentleman4 ,we ought always to find in girls that gentleness and delicacy of manner1 that minute attention to the comforts of others1 that visible respect towards others1 so agreeable and so refining in all circles4 ,marguerite de ,valois wrote1 ,gentleness1 cheerfulness1 and urbanity are the ,three ,graces of manners4 ,i believe they bear a close relation to ladylike deportment4 ,all can acquire these habits of politeness and attention to others1 though they come not with ease to those of us whom unfavorable surroundings continually influence4 ,a woman in an almshouse1 a girl serving a ship's crew1 can be a lady and not cost her masters more1 though her efforts cost her much4 ,but1 valuing all that constitutes a lady1 believing that these gentle graces are necessary to every girl1 ,i believe the ladylike is but a part of true womanliness1--that infinitely precious1 indescribable something in woman that makes her royal by birth1 queen of herself1 and fit to occupy the throne that is placed beside the king's throne1-- not higher1 not lower1 but beside it2 not his1 but like his2 her own1 from which1 with equal though with differing eye1 she looks in blessing on the world4 ,oh1 how1 girls1 shall we get this womanliness into our characters1 or1 rather1 how shall we make it shine out of them8 ,if we stop to think once in a while what it is1 if we remember that it is unassuming as it is beautiful1 and only waits for our acquaintance1 we shall the sooner embrace it4 ,and then1 if we are reminded that it does not despise common things1 lowly homes1 simple pleasures1 any more than it does benevolent acts1 patient lives1 and ordinary toils1 we shall oftener be found cherishing it4 ,let us remember that womanliness is in our elders1--women like ,susan ,winstanley1 of whom ,elia tells in ,modern ,gallantry4 ,you know she was cold toward her lover1 and when asked why1 she replied she was perfectly willing to receive his compliments and devotion1 as was her right2 but that1 just before he came to pay his regards1 she had overheard him roughly rating a young woman who had not been quite prompt with his cravats1 and she thought what a simple change of place might have caused1 and said1 ,i was determined not to accept any fine speeches to the compromise of that sex the belonging to which was1 after all1 my strongest claim and title to them4 ,let us remember that womanliness is in all the motherliness we see in our mothers2 that it is in all the sacrifices and noble deeds of silent women1 as well as in those of celebrated women1 like ,elizabeth ,fry or ,mrs4 ,browning2 that it is in the acts of all those who make the ordinary home like the shadow of a rock in a weary land1 and a light as of a ,pharos in the stormy sea4 ,if we are impressed with the remembrance that womanliness is in such and such characters1 we shall try harder to imitate them2 we shall be more thankful we are women1 and more grateful that it belongs to us especially to impart what man lacks1 and what he must depend on us to supply4 ,here1 again1 ,i want to emphasize the fact that womanliness does not require a girl to abandon merriment1 vigorous exercise of the body1 or brain1 or heart1 freedom in sports1 and a jolly good time4 ,but let us have every thing in its place4 ,kid-gloved hands in a huckleberry pasture1 or on a row-boat1 would be as unbecoming to a girl1 you will agree1 as a soiled collar in the school-room1 or a dusty jacket in church4 ,we do not object to boys sitting astride a fence3 it is rather manly than otherwise1 if they do not concoct a plan to tear their clothes2 but it does seem a bit out of the womanly way for a girl4 ,to be sure1 there is not much difference between climbing fences and many of the gymnastic performances for girls2 but time and place must be regarded4 ,i should not frown if ,i heard a girl whistling1 under two conditions1--she must be a good whistler1 and confine her musical exercise to the woods4 ,i think it is fine to see a girl go over a fence without sticking between the bars1 and it really is too bad to have to be pulled through by an ,i told you so6 ,it is fine to see a girl play ball or tennis2 to see her row or ride1 or climb a tree when there is need4 ,but all this climbing1 and striding1 and shouting1 womanly enough at times1 become most unwomanly under certain circumstances1 especially in the home4 ,such indications go far to pronounce us loose in manner1 immodest in deportment1 coarse and vulgar1 where we are not understood4 ,no girl can afford to wilfully bring upon herself the criticism of bad manners4 ,she can afford to do right when she feels the world is wrong2 but she is accountable for her example1 and the influence she exerts upon those not as strong as she is4 ,beyond this lies the fact that womanliness is opposed to mannishness1 and that unwomanliness grows faster than its virtuous opposite4 ,ill weeds grow apace1 says a ,german proverb4 ,one plantain in a garden will eat out not only the flowers in the plats1 but the very grass in the borders4 ,any thing that takes away from modesty1 refinement1 gentleness1 takes away from womanliness4 ,says ,beaconsfield1 ,the girl of the period1--she sets up to be natural1 and is only rude2 mistakes insolence for innocence2 says every thing that comes first to her lips1 and thinks she is gay when she is only giddy4 ,i sometimes think1 girls1 it is the motherliness in some of you that often makes you womanly2 not altogether the quality that makes little folks hug their dolls1--not altogether that1--though1 in their gentle cares1 their tender caresses and assumed anxieties1 they are little women in themselves2 but ,i mean1 too1 the motherliness that makes girls careful of others4 ,it is an all-sheltering fondness2 it is a delicate superintendence over the comforts of another2 it is a brooding thought about the nestlings of one's heart1 hearth1 or associations2 it is a cultivated instinct that smooths out difficulties1 and steps right along beside purity and loveliness4 ,this characteristic of womanliness is not that weak1 unsubstantial quality which we sometimes associate with effeminacy4 ,i would not imply that womanliness does not exist in those women whom superior talents have raised above the average man4 ,a great lecturer1 after holding her audience long by her eloquent appeals for reforms1 stepped down into the crowd slowly departing1 and earnestly inquired after this sick friend1 that poor one1 and the prosperity of another4 ,the marvel of her womanliness was even more striking than the power of her oratory4 ,as ,i said at first1 girls1 girlishness1 while inferior to womanliness1 is no hindrance to it4 ,it is most proper for girls to discuss tucks and ruffles1 gloves and boots1 bangs and twists4 ,they think about these things properly enough1 too1 or they would not make such good use of them4 ,they are in no danger of becoming less worthy women1 provided they do not exclude thoughts on higher things4 ,but girlishness1 construed to mean just a love of dress and finery1 does not make womanliness4 ,if it did1 every well-clothed girl on the street would be virtuous4 ,i confess1 however1 that it would require a good deal of persuasion to make me believe that untidy skirts1 buttons clinging by a thread1 or utter inattention to style1 to neatness and wholeness1 were traits in a womanly woman4 ,we are told that true manliness and true womanliness are one and the same4 ,at some points1 these qualities meet and mingle4 ,in the strongest parts of character1 men and women are the same4 ,in trying moments1 in hours of great interest1 in times of rare experience1 men and women do the same work in the same way1 and then the high quality which ennobles their characters is human kindness4 ,it is well that great artists have painted the face of ,christ so that it is as womanly as it is manly4 ,it is a beautiful way some persons have of thinking of ,god as father and mother too4 ,but with all these resemblances of manliness to womanliness1 there is a difference which all may recognize if they will4 ,allow a boy to stretch out his legs1 climb spouts1 jump gutters1--he is still perfectly manly2 but a girl cannot do these things in a community without censure1 unless necessity requires4 ,i know that the custom which demands different decorum for a girl is arbitrary1 and not of divine origin4 ,to go unveiled is not allowed in some countries4 ,but conformity is surely enjoined upon us2 and that1 so far as it is reasonably observed1 is a really womanly trait4 ,i cannot help thinking that girls are made of finer material than boys1 but of stuff that will wear just as well as the stockier goods in boys4 ,inasmuch as a girl has more confided to her keeping than a boy has1 she ought to be so much the more watchful4 ,a girl ought to guard purity1 modesty1 patience1 hope1 trust1 because she has had these things given her in large measure4 ,what can there be more beautiful than womanliness6 ,the next time you see the ,sistine ,madonna1 look behind all the mother in the lovely face for the woman in it4 ,then see if you do not remark the same in ,raphael's ,st4 ,cecilia1 and in the ,venus de ,milo1 ,wherever masters have succeeded in painting the ,virgin1 notice1 aside from the holy look1--if any thing can be aside from that1--the womanly look4 ,what is it which makes us love some women's faces the moment we see them8 ,sometimes it is because the loveliness of their character beautifies most ordinary features4 ,sometimes it is because we expect them to do some very womanly deed1--to heal us of diseases1 to right wrongs1 to defend causes1 to uplift the fallen4 ,girls are not all weak and uncertain1 because they are girls4 ,no2 they are strong and brave1 and reliable in danger4 ,the boiler of a steam-yacht exploded2 several girls were on board2 the crew were busy saving themselves2 the girls1 with an electric shock of mother-care1 jumped to save one another4 ,they neither fainted nor screamed1 with one exception1 which was a somewhat feeble serving-girl1 who was stoutly shaken and told to faint if she dared4 ,perhaps you think that refinement and good education produce greater womanliness than ignorance and low surroundings4 ,so they do2 but the worst of circumstances1 as we have already shown1 cannot crush it4 ,there is much to be feared from over-refinement1 or1 rather1 superficial cultivation1 which breeds selfishness1 vitiates strength1 encourages false pride1 enervates the whole life of a girl4 ,look at the girl half clad1 sleeping in the lazy sun that falls across her narrow doorway1 droning out life2 now and then1 in an hour of wakefulness1 muttering some coarse word4 ,and then regard the over-cultured1 the wrongly-bred girl2 the peevish1 dictatorial1 selfish1 haughty miss of a certain other door-way1--a parlor-way4 ,the womanliness in both would not amount to so much as is in one bright gleam from the eye of an ,evangeline4 ,we cannot tell so much what womanliness is in girls as what it does4 ,it lies mostly in the little acts they perform1--those things which are so often done that we neglect to speak of their worth1 and yet should feel most sad without them4 ,the humblest deeds1 the oft-repeated ones1 form the beauty of characters and faces4 ,they put beautiful lights into girls' eyes1 softness into their cheeks1 and winsomeness into the whole face4 ,then1 too1 deference to the feelings and notions of others has much to do with the sweetness of womanhood4 ,it cannot be wrong to read a letter on the street1 to shout to one's friend on the opposite side of the way1 to whistle to a horse-car driver2 but1 so long as these offend preconceived notions of good manners1 deference to the opinions of others should forbid such habits4 ,now let us see1 just once more1 what we mean by a womanly girl4 ,exact attention to points of etiquette1 gracefulness1 accomplishments1 proper subservience to the will of others1 do not of themselves make womanliness2 many more than these characteristics1 and greater1 are needful4 ,first of all1 a girl must feel she is a woman1 with a heart to cultivate in its affections1 restrain in its desires1 curb in its selfishness2 with a mind to enrich by such means as shall promote its best peculiarities1 and supply its needs2 with a soul to enlarge into more generous impulses1 and into the performance of more worthy deeds4 ,such a girl looks practically1 but at the same time cheerfully1 on life4 ,she is willing to make the best and most of her lot1 and1 though out of patience with it sometimes1 is not always battling against circumstances4 ,discontent1 to be sure1 is as unmanly as it is unwomanly2 but ,i fear it is an ill more widely spread among girls than among boys4 ,it is an evil seed1 and brings forth nothing but choking weeds and noxious plants4 ,no position1 nothing that a girl can do1 harms her1 provided she be womanly2 therefore1 choice of position cannot help1 unless she is sure she has power to do better in another place4 ,some servants are more womanly than the women who employ them4 ,we are all servants to one another3 each holds the mastery4 ,surely we must be novices before we can be superiors4 ,in one sense1 servitude is an ornament2 for politeness is but a visible sign1 of glad service4 ,surely1 politeness is a real property of womanliness4 ,a truly womanly girl is genuine in what she says and does4 ,avoiding the bombast1 the occasional coarseness of rougher natures1 the self- esteem1 and the dictatorial manner1 she yet says no1 when she means no4 ,if that causes hurt1 she is not slow to express her sympathy and show her sorrow4 ,she does not do things for effect1 nor to arouse unjust indignation4 ,if we were to study the points of character that have made women celebrated1 we should find them within the power of any earnest girl to obtain through great strength of womanhood4 ,i mean those women who have been the bravest1 truest1 tenderest1 most loved by the world4 ,philippa pleading with bended knee before ,edward ,,iii4 to spare the lives of the men of ,calais1 ,catherine urging her suit before ,henry ,,viii41 ,madame de ,stael supplicating ,bonaparte for her father's liberty1 ,marie ,antoinette ascending the steps of the scaffold1 are but few of the women of history who furnish us examples of highest womanhood4 ,literature supplies as great illustrations3 ,antigone going to bury her brother's ashes in spite of the king's threat to take her life2 ,zenobia in chains in the midst of a great ,roman triumph1--a woman still1 with firm though downcast eyes2 ,rebecca1 in ,ivanhoe1 standing on the tower ready to give the fatal spring the moment ,bois ,guilbert should approach with dishonorable purpose1--all furnish vivid pictures of what strength of womanliness can accomplish4 ,simple traits caused their noblest actions1--love1 sympathy1 tenderness1 purity1 bravery1 resolution1 endurance2 but these qualities1 grown almost to their utmost1 make these women dear to us4 ,it was not intellect1 it was not pride1 it was not position2 but it was the womanhood perfected in them that enabled them to do their work1 and enables us to love and follow them4 ,we are under the strongest obligations1 girls1 to our sex1 ourselves1 and the world4 ,x4 ,,girls ,,and ,,their ,,friends4 ,my dear girls1 do not fancy that ,i am going to preach on friendship3 so wide a theme is beyond the scope of these little talks with you4 ,i simply wish to express a few old-fashioned opinions about girls and their friends4 ,though now and then ,i may seem to be talking about that which is less than friendship1 or that which means more1 please understand ,i fully recognize the fact that1 though acquaintance1 friendship1 love1 often merge into one another by advancing steps of familiarity1 they are really three distinct qualities4--,one's acquaintances are many1 one's friends comparatively few1 one's lovers fewer yet1--or they ought to be4 ,do you know1 girls1 you do suggest the most delightful subjects for a talk6 ,there is no such thing as resisting your attractive traits6 ,but ,i am going to say a few very plain things about what may not be charming in you4 ,girls feel very quickly4 ,they are not in the least slow to comprehend with the heart2 in fact1 it often seems as though that organ were constructed with as much delicacy as is the ,aeolian harp1 which quivers and utters sounds when the air just stirs about it4 ,the most of you are very emotional2 and that quality of emotion1 when it is pure1 is your blessing1 and a part of the womanhood in you3 it is the necessary expression of your soul4 ,i know the word emotional has not a pleasant sound1 and1 in common use1 implies lack of reason and want of control2 but it is a good word1 and what it truly means is good4 ,feeling1 or the product of feeling1 which is emotion1 does for us what reason cannot do1--it frequently causes faith where reason would destroy it4 ,do not boast you are not emotional1 and have no care nor sympathy for fine sentiment2 for this boasting is not laudable in a woman4 ,the girl who reasons more than she feels will make a calm philosopher1 but a very poor friend4 ,though we are not to speak so much about ,god's highest gift to us1-- the power of loving1--,i would like to show you just what feeling is capable of doing4 ,you know most girls have an affection for somebody or something1 and if that love is not bestowed on a friend1 it will be on a cause1 an ambition1 an absorbing desire4 ,hypatia1 ,joan of ,arc1 ,charlotte ,corday1 ,florence ,nightingale1 ,harriet ,hosmer1 ,rosa ,bonheur1 ,mrs4 ,siddons1 represent as much love for the causes they lived or live for as did ,vittoria ,colonna for her husband1 ,hester and ,vanessa for ,swift1 ,heloise for ,abelard1 ,marguerite for ,faust1 ,ophelia for ,hamlet1 ,desdemona for ,othello1 or ,juliet for ,romeo4 ,these last1 ,i repeat1 were bound in the cause of love not less than the former2 and they all owed their endeavors--their success1 if they gained it--to the feelings and emotions of their natures4 ,but the trouble is1 girls1 you do lack judgment in the management of your feelings4 ,it has been suggested by an able philosopher that persons differ from one another principally in the amount of judgment they possess4 ,really1 you do not always bestow your friendship worthily1 but too often let your emotions master instead of guide you2 then your eyes become blind to every thing that is best for yourselves and your friends3 you get selfish1 passionate1 and demoralized4 ,hold the reins of feeling in obedience to what is good and right1 no matter what the suffering is which follows4 ,do you remember how ,irma loved the king in that grand struggle for character which ,auerbach paints ,on the ,heights1 where the full1 rich nature of ,irma1 so capable of loving1 so prone to err1 yearns for the fulfilment of her longing1 yet will not yield an inch of conscience when once she knows it is wrong for her to love8 ,you know she dies struggling1 but it is on the heights1 where1 ,goethe tells us1 lies repose4 ,there are many and many women martyrs who go to their graves unknown1 suffering no pangs of the ,inquisition1 the gallows1 or the guillotine1 but tortured by unrequited affections1--by a love which it was not possible to gratify without a loss of principle or a sacrifice of conscience4 ,is it not better to break one's heart than to break one's soul8 ,my dear girls1--,i would not say it were ,i not obliged to do so1--you seem the least conscientious in making friends1 rarely thinking how grave and yet how sweet a joy a friendship is4 ,in the first place1 you seize upon a friendship as though it were something to be worn already made1 like a new bonnet which pleases you4 ,no matter what the girl is1 she suits your present whims2 so your swear an eternal friendship with her1 when you do not begin to realize that real friendship depends upon time and growth1--that it consists largely in a mutual finding out of two persons4 ,then1 again1 you frequently choose friends for some material advantage to yourselves4 ,do you think you ought to do that8 ,you see something in a girl which you believe will promote your interests3 perhaps she is in society a good deal2 maybe she is very bright and sharp at repartee2 possibly she is stylish1 and absorbed in dress2 perhaps her father has money1 or she has an eligible brother1--at any rate1 she can advance your purposes in one way or another1 so you presume to make her your friend4 ,now you know you ought to value friendship for just its sake alone4 ,if you are to make a friend1 do so because you cannot honestly help it1 and no strong reason exists why you should help it4 ,naturally1 like chooses like3 some point of beauty1 some mark of excellence1 some trait of character1 will draw us to another1 because these things exist in ourselves1 though undeveloped1 or because we wish them to so exist2 so friendship will spring up and flourish till it ripens into love4 ,this is the best and most loyal way of making friends2 and1 if this be called choice1 indulge in it1 though not from any material profit you are to get1 but simply because you are fond of one who is worthy of the best you can give her4 ,then you will see that1 if a girl and her traits were lovable when she and you were school-mates1 they deserve to be loved still3 then a year after graduation you will know the girl when you meet her on the street1 and recognize her as you did in school4 ,girls and boys do not change so completely after leaving school4 ,eleanor1 though in plain clothes washing up the kitchen-floor1 is ,eleanor still2 and ,frank1 though only patching fences1 is still ,frank4 ,changes in circumstances and in ourselves sometimes prevent the keeping of a friend1 and we no longer find friendship in the places where we used to seek for it2 but inconstancy in ourselves is a greater enemy to the holding of a friendship than any external circumstance4 ,one great reason why certain girls of good parts remain in the same position in which their ancestors had lived--struggling with poverty1 with bad tempers1 with an indifferent lot1 and wrestling with a savage discontent--is because they are not encouraged to any thing better when they get out of school4 ,the free institutions of learning in the ,united ,states begin a noble work of co-education and co-friendship2 but1 when these are passed1 there remains nothing to continue the work4 ,a black pall falls between the past and the future1 and strives to cover the very memory of bygone school years4 ,money1 influence1 position1 make havoc1 striving in the freest land to set up classes and aristocracies separated from what is common by impassable barriers1--as though there were any other aristocracy than that of character and personal worth6 ,ought girls to have intimate friends8 ,how carelessly we use that word intimate4 ,well1 this is a very trying question1 and needs a careful answer4 ,says ,mr4 ,alger1 ,school-girl friendships are a proverb in all mouths4 ,they form one of the largest classes of those human attachments whose idealizing power and sympathetic interfusions glorify the world1 and sweeten existence4 ,with what quick trust and ardor1 what eager relish1 these susceptible creatures1 before whom heavenly illusions float1 surrender themselves to each other1 taste all the raptures of confidential conversation1 lift veil after veil1 till every secret is bare1 and1 hand in hand1 with glowing feet1 tread the paths of ,paradise6 ,but what do you mean by intimate8 ,if you understand by that word entire confidence in another under all circumstances2 an unbosoming of every thought and feeling2 a complete surrender to your friend1 or mastery over her2 a slavish adoration of her1 and hearty concordance in all she does1--do not1 then1 indulge in an intimate friendship4 ,the majority of women who have passed middle life will utter1 out of their own experience1 the truth that such confidence1 such intercourse and familiarity1 cause regret2 and that such friendships are seriously detrimental to human happiness1 wearing the mind1 grieving the spirit2 they cannot continue for many years4 ,our elders go even beyond that1 and say that woman cannot love woman as woman can love man4 ,why is it that the friendships of boys usually last longer than those of girls8 ,i cannot believe it is because girls are less constant or less friendly3 ,i know they are not4 ,can it be because boys are less sensitive1 and more sufficient for themselves8 or is it because they are less intense1 less confidential1 and move along more slowly and suspiciously8 ,does it ever come from peculiarity of temperament in the case of both boys and girls1 there being girl-boys and boy-girls8 ,i am inclined to think that1 because a boy is a boy1 and a girl is a girl1 the characteristics of both are required to make a perfect friendship4 ,of course there are broad exceptions to this opinion4 ,can you have more than one intimate friend among the girls8 ,that depends1 too1 on the nature and degree of closeness in the friendship4 ,it requires a large amount of generosity on the part of several when two persons are close friends of a third4 ,that blissful solitude a deux becomes misery a trois4 ,the world is indeed beautiful1 and the best part of it all is the people in it4 ,we are to love as many of them as we can1 but are called upon to reveal our inmost selves to few1 very few1 friends4 ,valuing friendship more than any other earthly blessing1 ,i think it wrong for girls to encourage that moodiness which flatters them they can do without friends1 especially of their own sex4 ,nothing can conduce more to happiness3 nothing is brighter1 more charming1 more helpful than the interchange of friendship among young women4 ,who wouldn't be a girl always if she could be sure all the other girls would stay so too1 and go on in that delightful exchange of affection and fine feeling which is the very ecstacy of living8 ,now1 what does a girl prize most in another girl whose friendship she enjoys8 or1 rather1 what should she value in her most8 ,in the first place1 constancy1--a knowledge that her friend will always be hers2 and then honesty1--a feeling that1 if she says1 ,now1 don't you tell1 the friend won't tell4 ,by the way1 this binding to secrecy is a very bad practice1 however delightful4 ,it places too great a responsibility on one's friend1 leads her into temptation1 makes her curious1 and1 in nine times out of ten1 one has no right to tell one's self1 or one would not be so cautious4 ,honesty implies more than this1 however3 it demands that your friend shall not herald abroad your mistakes or improprieties1 though she may disapprove of them4 ,it means that she shall treat you with the same kindness on all occasions1 and that she shall resent wrong done you by another4 ,you like a girl who does not criticise unjustly1 nor gossip about her friends4 ,marcus ,aurelius1 in his meditations1 says1 ,a man must learn a great deal to enable him to pass a correct judgment on another man's acts4 ,and ,arthur ,helps1 in his essay1 ,on the ,art of ,living with ,others1 exclaims1 ,if you would be loved as a companion1 avoid unnecessary criticism upon those with whom you live4 ,gossip is a most dangerous kind of criticism4 ,you prize a girl1 too1 who can like you even when she is not fond of your surroundings4 ,an honest friendship does away with all jealousy1 and makes each proud of the other's acquirements4 ,i must feel pride in my friend's accomplishments as if they were mine1 and a property in his virtue4 ,footnote3 ,emerson4 ,girls are not sufficiently inclined to help girls4 ,think of the shadows which cross your path which some dear girl's hand could chase away4 ,you would not drive the bird from your window-sill when he daily comes for crumbs1 nor let a kitten stand mewing in the cold4 ,do not withhold the charity of your friendship from the hungry1 dreary girl who waits4 ,when the helping hands and generous hearts of such benefactors as every city knows1--women whose names are familiar to us as synonyms of charity1 wisdom1 rightness1 but whose names we here repress because publicity would detract from the modesty of their conduct1--when such women stretch out hands of benefaction to their poor1 ignorant1 wicked sisters in our great towns1 sparing something from their purses1 from their minds1 from their comforts1 we wonder what must be the gift of their friendship to their more immediate friends4 ,here and there we meet humbler women1 girls of fair intelligence and generous hearts1 who give of their leisure1 when they have no money1 to help all objects of moral or spiritual wealth to woman4 ,what must their friendship be to their friends6 ,something of immense value4 ,would there were more such engaged in a like work for the spreading of this broad friendship among women as women4 ,when a girl finds something of friendliness to give1 the objects of her favor find much to receive4 ,a blessing increases most rapidly while passing from possessor to recipient4 ,the highest endowments should not1 and do not1 shut out a real need of reciprocal friendship in the hearts of girls4 ,the larger your natures are1 the greater will be your demand for friends4 ,do not be afraid you have not the talent of being friendly1 even to the most gifted4 ,a woman's greatest need1 if she will confess it1 is large-hearted sympathy1--is friendship4 ,that one who withholds it1 who seeks not friends1 is fighting against herself1 is lonely and dreary1 notwithstanding the fact that she has great capabilities2 for one of the most essential elements of her nature is being starved4 ,the mightiest cannot stand alone4 ,mme4 ,swetchine1 ,marian ,evans1 ,mme4 ,de ,stael felt1 even more than most women1 the absolute need of a friend4 ,i can imagine nothing drearier than to be so far superior1 in mind or in position1 to one's associates as to feel no friendship for them4 ,milton1 sitting with his daughters1 yet not comprehended1 is to me one of the saddest pictures of a great mental endowment and an unsatisfied heart4 ,would not ,elizabeth have given years of her life and reign for the possession of one true friend8 ,it is an extremely rare thing to hear of a woman hermit1 or recluse4 ,girls give themselves up to nunneries1 and believe they shut out the world2 but they are either seeking the friendship of a cause supremely1 or are hugging the closer an earthly1 though a disappointed1 love4 ,it is not weak1 as ,grace ,aguilar suggests1 for women to love women1 girls to love girls4 ,it is the fashion to deride female friendship1 to look with scorn on those who profess it4 ,there is always1 to me1 a doubt of the warmth1 the strength1 and purity of her feelings1 when a girl merges into womanhood1 looking down on female friendship as romance and folly4 ,it makes no difference who you are1 girls1 you need friends among all classes and ages of persons4 ,sometimes it is the little child who can give friendship best2 sometimes it is the woman bowed with years2 often it is she whose years1 surpassing yours by ten or twelve1 have brought her into the midst of that experience on which you are just entering4 ,surely you must always need the sweet exchange of feeling which takes place between girls and girls4 ,we remark the countless friends we have in ,nature2 but beautiful1 ennobling and comforting as the trees1 the streams1 and long green meadows are1 you cannot afford to give up flesh and blood friends for them4 ,nature can improve you1 but you cannot help her2 but the true value of friendship is the mutual benefit to be derived from it4 ,in the highest sense1 this benefit relates not only to the heart1 but to the mind and soul4 ,it is indeed possible for the ignorant1 the unambitious1 the unrefined to be firm friends4 ,we hear of true and lasting friendships existing in peasant life4 ,the rough1 barren mountain-ways of the ,scotch ,highlands1 the coast villages of ,france1 the vinelands of ,germany1 the low flats of ,holland1 the desert of ,africa1 the vast plains of ,america1 have furnished the most pathetic examples of sincere friendship1 even though found among the most uncivilized4 ,surely1 when refinement is added1 the blessing should increase and not diminish1 as it so often seems to do4 ,the wigwam of the ,indian is a truer protection for friendship than the gilded walls of many a drawing-room4 ,oh1 girls1 this is what hurts and soils your characters1--this drawing- room insincerity1 this falseness1 this seeming6 ,you can be polite and honest too2 agreeable1 and faithful as well4 ,significant glances1 unfair advantages1 uncivil pretensions in the parlor1 make you not only insincere1 but suspicious that you1 also1 are being ogled and scanned by others4 ,girls have contributed to make society false when they might have made it true4 ,that society is insincere to you you will hardly deny1 if poverty1 sickness1 or any misfortune thrust you from it4 ,but society we must have4 ,why not1 then1 do your part to make it nobler1 friendlier1 truer8 ,much depends on the effort every girl makes to improve the social condition of the community4 ,though you are so often indiscreet1 fickle1 ungenerous in your friendships1 girls1 ,i believe in them4 ,when ,i see a party of you come together1 so glad to be with one another again1 giving and taking1 after the most lavish fashion1 ,i want to say1 ,yes1 indeed6 to ,mr4 ,alger's remarks about school-girls2 though ,i would leave off the word school1 and make his expressions apply to girls everywhere4 ,probably no chapter of sentiment in modern fashionable life is so intense and rich as that which comes to the experience of budding maidens at school4 ,in their mental caresses1 spiritual nuptials1 their thoughts kiss each1 other1 and more than all the blessedness the world will ever give them is foreshadowed4 ,to sustain this friendship1 ,i repeat1 there are very necessary demands upon your patience1 your charity1 and your constancy4 ,the only way to have a friend is to be one1 issues from the oracular lips of the ,concord seer4 ,men exist for the sake of one another4 ,teach them1 or bear with them1 is an appeal which has been handed down the ages from the wisdom of that great seeker after ,god1 ,marcus ,aurelius4 ,next to constancy in our fondness for others should come forbearance and conformity4 ,we ought to forbear inflicting the discomfort of our peculiarities on our friends1 or of requiring too much love for what we give1--too much intelligence to meet our mental acquirements4 ,we should forbear asking for a change of opinion1 or an unsettling of conviction1 and certainly should refrain from making a bad use of our intimacy with one another4 ,be deaf and dumb and blind to all attempts to draw from you the secrets which another has committed to your charge4 ,conformity is no less important than forbearance4 ,we should adapt ourselves more to the tastes1 habits1 and dispositions of our friends4 ,of course1 we are not to comply with what will work them and us harm4 ,girls agree to certain customs in the main2 dress as their mates do2 and1 if this or that fashion prevails1 follow it1 when it is not too ridiculous1--perhaps some do even when it is absurd4 ,when the majority of girls wear bangs and bangles1 you wear them2 and when the most wear skirts somewhat less than two yards around1 why1 ,i suppose you do1 don't you8 ,that is all right2 but let it never be forgotten that1 in conforming to general usage1 you may still preserve your own personality4 ,when bustles and ,french heels jostle with your individuality1 let them go1 but save yourselves4 ,how is it we so easily follow after fashion and custom1 suffer physical and mental pangs on account of them1 and yet find it so hard to conform with the notions and individual traits of our friends8 ,just here1 however1 we are reminded that we are not to so agree with our friends1 even1 as to lose ourselves4 ,says ,arthur ,helps on this point1 ,if it were not for some singular people who persist in thinking for themselves1 in seeing for themselves1 and in being comfortable1 we should all collapse into a hideous uniformity4444 ,in all things1 a man must beware of so conforming himself as to crush his nature1 and forego the purpose of his being4 ,and ,emerson might have added to that thought1 ,better be a nettle in the side of your friend than his echo4 ,conformity enjoins compromise4 ,fewer would be the great national calamities of war1 famine1 hard times2 fewer the domestic trials2 fewer the broken hearts1 were there more of compromise in the world1--were there less cultivation and indulgence of certain national or personal peculiarities4 ,girls ought never to be so familiar with one another as to forget to be polite in their intercourse4 ,courtesy1 the last best gift of chivalry1 the one bright star of the ,middle ,ages1 leads out a long array of thoughts2 but we cannot stop to marshal them here4 ,politeness is never superfluous4 ,it needs to become so much a part of the costume of character as never to be laid aside except for renewal4 ,surely we should show its brightest ornaments1 and the durability of its fabric1 to our friends and acquaintances4 ,let us seek friends1 not wait for them to come to us4 ,let us search for them1 not with boldness and indiscrimination1 but with a hearty good-will to help them and enjoy them1 as we1 in return1 expect them to do us good1 and be glad of us4 ,it is a duty on our part to seek and to keep friends1 and no occupation should be so absolutely engrossing as to prevent the performance of this duty4 ,,xi4 ,,youths ,,and ,,maidens4 ,i have discovered an incompleteness1 girls1 in my talk with you about your friends1 and ,i feel very depressing qualms of conscience on account of my discovery4 ,why1 ,i haven't said one word about the friendships of boys and girls4 ,do pardon me6 ,there really is an excuse4 ,the fact is1--shall ,i speak it right out loud8 ,no1 it might be too dreadful4 ,come close1 girls1 and ,i will whisper it in your ears1--,i am an old maid6 ,isn't that deplorable8 ,i have lost one-half the pleasure there is in friendship1 and1 perhaps1 you think1 all there is in love4 ,yes1 'tis true3 ,i am one of the superfluous sixty thousand women who are usurping the population in a small state4 ,i had better go to the far ,west1 and settle in the gold diggings1 hadn't ,i8 ,so1 girls1 you do not suppose that1 in a condition of such positive ignorance1 ,i am able to talk with you about the boys8 ,well1 ,i will be very discreet1 and only suppose1 gently suppose1 that such a thing as friendship exists among boys and girls4 ,but if ,i should venture on the subject of marriage1 which1 ,i am told1 often ensues from something akin to friendship1 you will please pardon me1 and remember that1 if ,i am too old to be talking about it1 you are too young to be listening4 ,in such a peculiar civilization as ours1 you cannot be really getting married at eighteen4 ,but you may be thinking about marriage4 ,oh1 yes6 girls think a great deal about it at that age4 ,perhaps ,i did when ,i was eighteen2 but that was so long ago1 so very long ago6 ,still1 for present purposes1 we will imagine ,i was once a girl1 and thought more or less about the boys1 and liked them1 too1 just as you do now4 ,oh1 do not be so sure1 you very bashful or very independent few1 that you do not care a fig for the boys1 and never shall6 ,if you feel a kind of indifference now1 or cannot see what boys are for1 unless to try their sisters1 and act conceited and foolish with the other girls1 you may be on the verge of discovering that they are extremely good for loving4 ,isn't it remarkable how boys change8 ,why1 you are so suddenly impressed that ,tom ,sydney is not half as rude as he used to be6 ,indeed1 he has grown very polite1--he lifts his hat in such a deferential way2 he speaks with so manly a tone2 he has a touch of such gentlemanly1 half- alluring kindness when he helps you over the crossing6 ,strange1 one's neighbors do alter so6 ,yes1 it is a little remarkable2 but it is on both sides of the street1--girls as well as boys4 ,it is not the freshman year in college1 nor the first month in business1 nor the first term at an evening dancing-school1 which produce the change in the boys4 ,it is not graduation1 nor parties1 nor house-keeping responsibilities1 which make such a change in girls4 ,no2 but it is a very beautiful unfolding of the decrees of ,god which makes boys and girls love one another4 ,but1 girls1 even if your mind is set on celibacy1 and you feel able to set off by contrasting charms the bliss of matrimony1 encourage the friendship of the boys4 ,you need their friendliness just as they need yours4 ,you require their steadiness of purpose1 their decision1 their frankness1 their slower judgment1 their more robust endeavor1 their courage and hardihood4 ,they need your keener perception of right and wrong1 your forbearance1 your refinement of feeling1 your encouragement1 your sympathy1 your patience and endurance1 your tact1 your gentleness and grace4 ,the boys1 you see1 have the advantage of giving you more than you can give them2 and you have the advantage of imparting to them more than they can impart to you4 ,and1 pray1 what is friendship but a mutual giving and taking of the best parts of character8 ,and how1 indeed1 can boys and girls grow in character without friends8 ,do not fancy the boys like in you qualities differing from those the girls are most fond of4 ,very young boys may1 or very unworthy men4 ,a twelve-year-old thinks girls are no good1--can't fly a kite without letting go the string1 and can't play ball without hitting him on the head with a bat4 ,a fifteen-year-old thinks girls will do for some occasions1 especially if the girls are his sisters4 ,they can fasten neck-ties very well1 and save a fellow a good deal of embarrassment at dancing-school4 ,he wishes they wouldn't be such tell- tales1 though4 ,but an eighteen-year-old1 or a youth of twenty1 cannot conceive any thing more adorable than the winning ways of girlhood4 ,a boy likes a girl sometimes1 just as you girls too often like each other1 because she is pretty1 or bright1 or pert4 ,he is fond of a girl at other times because the beauty of her character reveals itself in all kinds of womanly acts4 ,if he marries1 he usually meets the deserts of whatever fondness he cherishes4 ,he may be happy for a while in association with a pretty face1 a saucy tongue1 and a becoming costume2 but not for long1--not for long4 ,while you are never to forget that you are young women1 and that you owe large tributes to girls everywhere1 do not exact consideration from the boys merely because you are girls4 ,the boys never think of asking you to favor them4 ,though you are privileged to demand courtesy1 that should not prevent you from engaging in honest toil with boys1 or from associating with them in harmless pleasures4 ,a boy appreciates it when a girl takes hold and helps to row1 to rake1 or to add accounts4 ,i think it is extremely commendable when a boy and girl can study together1 work in the factory at the same bench1 drive or walk with one another1 and are not foolishly conscious that he is a boy and she is a girl4 ,it is a pleasure to see a girl look at a boy without blushing1 and to observe a boy look into a girl's eyes without immediately lowering his lashes4 ,why is this susceptibility8 ,it is not because boys and girls are always to fall in love when they meet4 ,every girl has a work to do for the boys1--some traits in their characters to discountenance1 some features to encourage4 ,how can she do this1 if she is always thinking1 ,maybe he loves me8 ,work with the boys she must3 join in merry-making and in whimsical enjoyments1 why should she not8 but in her gayest moment let her be mindful1 not of a difference in sex1 but of the fact that both a boy and a girl owe deference to each other1 courtesy1 kindness1 and conformity1 as of friend with friend4 ,it is quite possible for young women to have friends among the young men without this friendship developing into a strong affection4 ,you do not know1 girls1 how valiantly you are defended by the boys4 ,boys are usually such uncommunicative creatures6 ,but touch their friendship1 and they will throw a volley of rhetoric right in among a crowd of gossipers4 ,slow to receive favors from you1 as they sometimes seem1 they never forget a kindness done by you4 ,now suppose your association with boys does sometime grow into a love for a young man1--just suppose the case4 ,ought you to marry him8 ,of course ,i don't know3 ,i am not capable of advising1 on account of my singularity4 ,i might tremblingly suggest1 however1 that love1 health1 and virtue having been seriously contemplated1 there should be few1 if any1 hindrances to marriage2 for out of this trinity will spring patience1 courage1 industry1 joy1 and all that is needful to united lives4 ,if you think my suggestion lacks the significance of experience1 why1 hunt up some of the best authorities on the subject4 ,william ,penn was a very moral kind of a man1 and experienced in the art of living2 and1 like a true ,quaker1 he put a negative wherever one was needed4 ,he said1 ,never marry but for love1 but see thou lovest what is lovely4 ,only two conditions1 you note2 but on them hangs the destiny of all the future4 ,it is certainly right for you to think of marriage1 to regard it joyfully1 yet so as with a serious joy4 ,but girls1 dear girls1 do not inflame your hearts with the visions of married life which are so frequently delineated in the prevalent fiction of the day4 ,you will be happier without all that extravagance of romantic affection which fills circulating libraries4 ,do not read the trash3 it will make you expect too much2 it will make real life seem insignificant2 it will cause you to be more and more susceptible in the presence of young men2 it will blot leaves in your book of life which ought to be all white2 it will make truth fictitious2 it will lead to temptation1--to death4 ,says ,miss ,yonge1 ,if every modest woman or girl would abstain from such books as poison1 and never order or read one which makes crime and impurity prominent1 or tampers with dilemmas about the marriage vow1 there would be fewer written and published1 and less wildfire would be spread abroad4 ,shun the romances which centre all in a false1 unnatural affection4 ,oh1 that they were all sunk in the ocean1 the food for obscene sharks6 ,and1 oh1 that only such pure and beautiful romances remained as picture the lives of a ,hermann and a ,dorothea1 or a ,gabriel and an ,evangeline6 ,but1 girls1 how some of you do treat the boys6 ,no wonder they grow conceited3 you allow them to become so4 ,here is a girl only eighteen years old who has an impression1 such a strong impression1 there is but one praise-worthy act for a girl to do1 and that is to get married4 ,each new birthday will frighten her1 and she will dread to be alive and single at twenty-five4 ,she seizes every matrimonial opportunity1 and haunts a young man like a conviction of conscience4 ,here is another girl quite absorbed in the thought that a live man pays her certain attentions1 and she takes his conceit for grave wisdom1 and his kindness for infinite tenderness4 ,she looks upon him as an importation from the priesthood of the ,grand ,llama1--perhaps he is the ,grand ,llama himself2 certainly the inhabitant of a land where young men do not grow humanly4 ,he is a rara avis1 a glorious phenomenon1 a marked consideration in the world1 a being to be devoutly gazed at to come to some appreciation of him4 ,i feel you are berating me1 girls1 so far as your natures will allow2 but1 then1 do ,i not speak the truth8 ,could ,i not unfold pitiful stories about girls who marry fine wedding receptions and the servitude of reverses8 about young women who are vain enough to think there can be no union of hearts without union of intellects1 and so lay snares for college students8 ,could ,i not picture to you the mariage de convenance in ,america8 ,and could ,i not describe the marriage of a jilt8 ,i cannot too earnestly repeat that marriage is the common and acceptable destiny of both boys and girls2 but ,i must complain because girls do not regard it sufficiently before they enter into it4 ,in the distress which follows their hastiness1 in the despair which sometimes hardens their hearts1 women call marriage a lottery1 and man faithless4 ,i must think that marriage is not only a very natural1 but a very beautiful1 way of increasing love4 ,love is the burden of all ,nature's odes1--the song of the birds an epithalamium1 a hymeneal4 ,the marriage of the flowers spots the meadows1 and fringes the hedges with pearls and diamonds4 ,in the deep waters1 in the high air1 in woods and pastures1 and the bowels of the earth1 this is the employment and condition of all things4 ,footnote3 ,thoreau4 ,god has set the type of marriage everywhere throughout the creation4 ,each creature seeks its perfection in another4 ,the very heavens and earth picture it to us4 ,footnote3 ,luther4 ,youths and maidens1 you are in the heyday of vigorous1 joyous life6 ,your delight is1 like the springtime1 rich in hope and promise4 ,your laugh rings true2 your voices mingle in frolic glee1 or in quiet tones of kind regard4 ,now join hands in the glad though earnest work of life1--not life's drudgery1 not its toils4 ,no6 for the cheer of your spirits1 the courage which looks despair full in the face1 and crushes it with lively endeavor1--these will permit no drudgery2 these will make out of the most desolate moorland a very garden of life6 ,you can do all6 ,now make the earth renew its vigor2 now make health and courage come again in the world2 now restore the reign of cheer2 now break the bonds of vice2 now bring back an earthly ,paradise6 ,with your strong bodies1 your glad hearts1 your vigorous minds1 your imperial sway over the hearts of one another1 your persuasive control over the feelings of your elders1 it is for you to make the future what you will4 ,oh1 make it the dawn of that civilization1 of that ,christianity1 when again the morning stars shall sing together6 ,only you can restore virtue2 only you can cast out corruption2 only you can drive the fiends of intemperance1 of fraud1 of oppression1 of despair1 of craftiness1 of selfishness1 from the land6 ,girls1 in the great work of the future1 in the reformation of the present1 can you not do most8 ,when woman was thrust out of ,paradise1 man followed her4 ,when she shall return again1 and the gates shall swing open on noiseless hinges at the approach of her pure feet1 man shall be seen1 not following1 but walking by her side4 ,raphael and ,guido have painted the angel ,michael with a beautiful maiden's face1 though his body is muscular1 and his wings are tipped with strength1 while1 firm as a ,hercules1 he stands upon the writhing coils of ,satan4 ,the ,devil but turns his coward head to look with vanquished strength upon the clear1 calm smile of the angel4 ,maidenly love of what is pure1 of what is brave1 of what is manly1 will crush the evil in youths who are tempted2 yes1 and make from an ,adam of mere muscle and intelligence a very god of virtue4