,transcriber's ,notes3 ,text enclosed by underscores is in italics 7italics71 and text enclosed by equal signs is in bold 7bold74 ,additional ,transcriber's ,notes are at the end4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,how ,,to ,,get ,,married ,,although ,a ,,woman2 ,,or1 ,,the ,,art ,,of ,,pleasing ,,men4 ,by 8,a ,,young ,,widow40 7,,copyright #ahib ,,by ,j4 ,s4 ,,ogilvie ,,publishing ,,co47 ,,ohio ,,card ,,co41 ,,columbus ,,ohio 99 99 99 99 99 ,murine ,eye ,remedies ,illustration ,murine is a ,reliable ,domestic ,eye ,remedy1 ,perfectly ,harmless1 and should be in the ,medicine ,closet of every ,family1 as a 8,first ,aid0 for ,injuries or ,diseased ,conditions of that delicate organ1 the ,eye4 ,it does not ,smart or ,irritate the ,eye1 but is ,soothing in its action4 ,tonic1 ,astringent and an ,antiseptic ,lotion1 and while it is used by ,physicians it is in every sense a ,domestic ,remedy and can be used by every one with ,perfect ,safety for the ,prevention of ,eye ,troubles and for ,affections and ,diseases of the external surface of the ,eye and ,lids4 ,recommended for ,weak ,eyes1 ,strained ,eyes1 ,itching ,eyes1 ,red ,eyes and ,eyelids1 for ,well ,eyes that are ,tired1 for ,red ,eyes from ,weeping1 for ,redness and ,swelling of the ,eyelids1 and for ,eyes affected by the excessive use of ,tobacco and ,stimulants4 ,your ,druggist sells ,murine ,eye ,remedies4 ,our ,books mailed ,free1 tell you all about them and how to use them4 ,may be sent by mail at following prices4 ,murine ,eye ,remedy #cj;c41 #fj;c41 #a4jj ,de,luxe ,toilet ,edition--,for the ,dressing ,table #a4be ,tourist--,autoist--in ,leather ,case #a4be ,murine ,eye ,salve in ,aseptic ,tubes #be;c41 #a4jj ,granuline--,for ,chronic ,sore ,eyes and ,trachoma #a4ej ,,murine ,,eye ,,remedy ,,co4 ,no4 ,nine ,east ,ohio ,street1 ,,chicago1 ,u4 ,s4 ,a4 ,,contents4 ,,chapter4 ,,page4 ,i4 ,girls and ,matrimony #e ,,ii4 ,the ,girl whom ,men ,like #bj ,,iii4 ,the ,girl who ,wins #da ,,iv4 ,the ,girl who ,fails #ee ,v4 ,some ,unfailing ,methods #hd ,,vi4 ,a ,word of ,warning #ia ,,vii4 ,the ,secret of the ,widow's ,power #ajg ,,viii4 8,lady ,beauty0 #aai ,,ix4 ,the ,loved ,wife #abh ,choice ,selections in ,poetry and ,prose #ade 99 99 99 99 99 ,,how ,,to ,,get ,,married1 ,,although ,a ,,woman4 ,,chapter ,i4 ,,girls ,,and ,,matrimony4 ,it is natural for girls to wish to marry4 ,the desire to do so is not to be condemned1 but rather applauded1 for it is ,heaven-born4 ,the ,creator implanted it in the human heart1 man and woman alike4 ,god made man for woman and woman for man4 ,he did not intend that they should live apart from each other4 ,when ,he said1 8,it is not good for man to be alone10 ,he included woman in the man4 ,it is not good for woman to live alone4 ,he put a longing in the heart of man and woman alike which is only satisfied by the love of the other4 ,he made a void in the heart which can only be filled by the companionship and love of one of the opposite sex4 ,man and woman are alike in this4 ,it is as natural to her as to him3 she can no more help it than he can4 ,the unnatural part is that a woman must keep still about it1 and if no one comes to woo1 try to stifle the longing4 ,there are plenty who hold up their hands in holy horror when it is said that a certain girl wishes to marry4 ,it is nothing at all out of the way when ,mr4 ,jones says he has determined to marry4 ,if his sister ,mollie gave voice to such a sentiment1 it would be shocking1 however4 ,it would be shocking for her to give expression to the longing the all-wise ,father has implanted in her heart4 ,it is a heart1 too1 that will never be satisfied with yearning only1 with fame1 with any vocation1 with dumb animals1 with other people's children2 and it is a wise thing it will not4 ,it is not a wise thing1 however1 that ,mollie will be condemned because she cannot be satisfied without having a fireside and home of her own1 because she wants a big loving fellow to care for her and to protect her1 and whom she can love and make happy1 because she wants her own home1 no matter how small it is1 to adorn and make pretty1 her own housekeeping to look after1 her own and his children to care for2 because she wants her own wifehood1 just as her brother wants a wife and home of his own and will not be satisfied to be a bachelor4 ,let him make up his mind to marry4 ,the world will approve of his decision4 ,let ,mollie do the same thing4 ,i want to see girls marry4 ,i am always glad when ,i hear that one is engaged to do so4 ,to help some to do so1 ,i write these few chapters4 ,there are too many old maids4 ,there are more than there need to be4 ,i feel particularly sorry for the girl who has passed the line of youth and who has no admirers4 ,her brothers are all married1 and most of her girlhood friends are absorbed in a husband and a baby4 ,she has none1 when doubtless she has it within her to make a good wife and mother4 ,she is often restless1 unsatisfied1 disappointed4 ,if she is at all weak-minded1 she becomes sour as she grows older4 ,she grows envious of all happily married women1 and has a secret grudge toward men because she feels that she has been slighted by the sex generally4 ,many a girl who would make a good wife is soured by her failure to become one1 and turns out an unpleasant member of society4 ,all old maids are not by any means like this1 however4 ,there are many unmarried women in the world that will take up cheerfully any fate1 turning their disappointment into a blessing for others4 ,but ,i fear that1 after all1 they go through life with a heart unsatisfied4 ,alone1 when they look into the secret chambers of that uncomplaining heart1 they see there the old longings for love4 ,there are unmarried women who do a great deal of good in the world4 ,they accept their solitary lot as the will of the ,heavenly ,father4 ,but is it ,his will8 ,does ,he give the heart longings which ,he will not satisfy8 ,no4 ,a thousand times1 ,no4 ,that would be tantalizing us4 ,too often we make mistakes in life1 and then declare the consequences to be ,his will4 ,it is so in failing to marry4 ,girls make mistakes in their conduct and remain spinsters4 ,the fault is their own4 ,they do not know how to attract1 and so are passed by4 ,plenty of girls do so well understand the art of attracting men1 that they have numberless offers of marriage4 ,i know women who could not count up on their ten fingers the men who have been in love with them3 among them men who for their sakes have remained unmarried through life4 ,i have had personal acquaintance with women who have been married three times1 and could1 some of them1 be married again4 ,i know other women who have never had one admirer4 ,i know girls who can attract men to them1 and almost as soon as they are attracted1 repel them4 ,that sort of a girl never marries4 ,she wants to do so1 and acts through ignorance4 ,i have sometimes felt like giving a girl a good shaking when ,i have seen her spoil her own chances4 ,i have been dying to whisper a word of advice at times1 but was too wise to do so1 knowing it would not be well received4 ,girls know so fearfully much6 ,the experiences of a mature woman count for nothing beside the wonderful knowledge some girls in their teens have6 ,in the hope that some of these maidens will be willing to read what they would not hear1 when it was too personal1 ,i determined to write down what ,i know about being attractive to the other sex1 what ,i know about girls' failures1 and why they fail4 ,not long ago there appeared in 8,the ,woman's ,department0 of one of our daily papers a letter from a young girl1 in which she confessed that she loved a young man who did not return her affection4 ,she asked what she should do to win him4 ,the editor could not tell her1 advising her to give him up1 very much as if it were a pleasure excursion the poor girl was writing about4 ,there are times when it is necessary to give up all hope of winning a man4 ,this1 however1 did not appear to have been one of them4 ,the girl should have been told just how she could attract1 then win him4 ,perhaps the editor did not herself know4 ,if a girl is thrown much in the society of a young man whose affections are not previously engaged1 and if she knows how to do it1 she is quite sure to make him love her4 ,if1 however1 he cares for some one else1 who cares for him1 no true woman will in any way try to come between the two3 she will rather avoid doing so4 ,if the girl has become interested before she knows of his engagement1 it is a case of misplaced affections4 ,there ,i must advise giving him up4 ,get interested in another man1 and win that one4 ,it might be well always for a girl to find out first whether or not a man is interested in some one else4 ,that would often save a world of trouble4 ,a misplaced affection1 when foolishly adhered to will stand in the way of a happy marriage4 ,it is not always the man you love4 ,not unfrequently it is your ideal which you make a certain man fill4 ,often1 if you are not blinded1 you will see that instead of filling it1 he 8wobbles0 around in the large space you have given him4 ,that ideal can easily be transferred to another man4 ,very few hearts are so true that they love but once4 ,they may do so in stories1 but in real life we change4 ,we rarely marry our first love1 and almost always forget all about him4 ,after marriage it is a different thing4 ,then it is no ideal3 it is real4 ,the man you love is real4 ,the love is real1 and continues even after 8death do you part40 ,so1 let no misplaced affection stand between you and marriage4 ,return a love if it is offered you and the man is desirable1 or set yourself to win one4 ,do not go about sighing for a man who belongs to another girl4 ,he never gives you a thought--they are hers4 ,have too much self-respect1 and too high an opinion of your charms to think about him4 ,in a few years1 impossible as it may seem now1 when you meet him middle-aged and a family man1 you will wonder what you ever saw in him to care about4 ,this sounds heartless1 but it is true4 ,it goes to prove that in early life before marriage it is the ideal and not the man a girl often loves4 ,if ,i am mistaken in that1 ,i am not mistaken in saying that a girl is happier married to a man for whom she cares less than she did for this ideal1 than in remaining a spinster because some other girl bore off the heart she craved4 ,to my mind a woman is happier married under almost any circumstances than single4 ,that ,i know is against the teachings of to-day1 and does not savor the least of woman's rights4 ,i believe her 8rights0 is to be married4 ,sometimes a girl who is attractive enough to win any man is kept from marriage by the selfish attentions of one man who either cannot or will not say anything to her about marrying him4 ,this is not an unfrequent occurrence4 ,a man who1 on account of his circumstances1 cannot marry1 or who1 because he prefers his freedom1 will not marry1 will pay attention to a girl for years4 ,he wins her affections1 and keeps away others who would be glad to marry her4 ,meantime she hopes that every day she will hear the words he has given her a right to expect to hear4 ,in the end1 if she allows this thing to continue1 she will be an old maid4 ,no matter how much you care for a man1 give him up if1 after a certain length of time1 he says nothing to you about marriage4 ,you will lose nothing in the end by doing so1 and may gain him4 ,if he really cares for you1 the danger of losing you will make him more anxious to possess you4 ,then1 if ever1 he will find means to ask you to marry him4 ,if he does not then1 he never would4 ,if giving him up hurts you1 heal the wound by remembering that his intentions could not have been serious1 and that he has allowed himself to lose you4 ,remember1 too1 that the hurt will come some time1 anyway1 and most likely when you are beyond the age to attract any one else4 ,so giving him up while you are yet young means a marriage with some other man4 ,clinging weakly to him means1 without doubt1 that he will1 when you are no longer young and attractive1 cast you away for a fairer face4 ,never so far forget your self-respect as to ask a dilatory lover his intentions4 ,never allow your father or brother so to demean you4 ,if a man has intentions1 no matter how bashful he is1 he will declare them4 ,if he does not do so1 he has none1 and you had better give up all hope in that direction4 ,there are always plenty more men about who will care for you1 and who will let you know it too4 ,three such cases have come to my knowledge4 ,the girl acted differently in each one4 ,the first clung to her dilatory lover till he finally left her when she was too old to attract any one else4 ,now1 alone in the world1 she supports herself by keeping a boarding-house4 ,the second one had her father ask the lover his intentions1 and in that way roped him in4 ,it was not a happy marriage4 ,a third gave up the man who would not propose1 and shortly afterwards married another man for whom she grew to care a great deal more4 ,some attractive girls live in small towns where they can meet no one whom they could or would marry4 ,consequently they have to remain single4 ,in such a case a man would go out and seek a wife4 ,a girl cannot exactly do that4 ,she can1 however1 sometimes change her place of residence for that purpose4 ,when it makes little difference1 as far as business is concerned1 where a family live1 ,i believe a father owes this duty to his unmarried daughters4 ,he can take her where she will be likely to meet an eligible man4 ,i once knew a father with two young daughters who left his country home for their sakes4 ,he took a nice house in ,philadelphia1 and remained there till they were both married1 then returned home4 ,a widow with three daughters left her farm and rented a large furnished house in ,new ,york ,city4 ,as a means of support she took first-class boarders4 ,the eldest was considerably over thirty1 but they were all three attractive4 ,being so placed where they met gentlemen1 none of them were long in marrying4 ,a maiden lady of forty-one1 very jolly1 bright1 and good-natured1 interesting but not pretty1 and so fleshy she was a sight1 had never in the east met a man whom she could marry4 ,she went to ,california to visit a sister1 and in less than a year was married to a wealthy widower4 ,change of residence will often change the lonely spinster1 young or advanced1 into a happy wife4 ,,chapter ,,ii4 ,,the ,,girl ,,whom ,,men ,,like4 ,leaving matrimony out of the question1 it is desirable for a girl to aim to be a favorite with men generally4 ,she should be a girl whom all men like1 whether or not that liking ripens into a feeling more tender4 ,then she always stands the chance of its so ripening4 ,many a man goes through life till he has made a success of his business without giving a thought to marriage4 ,when he is ready to marry1 he looks about him without any sentiment often to see whom of his lady friends he would like for a wife4 ,ten to one he hits upon a girl whose character has called forth his friendly admiration4 ,this once settled he straightway falls in love with something to build upon4 ,widowers will frequently marry a girl of whom they thought well when the wife was yet living4 ,mere beauty counts for less in the long run than is generally supposed4 ,it has less power in determining matrimonial choice than you would think4 ,its first effects are too strong in proportion to its other effects4 ,it is seen at once1 and instead of growing upon the beholder1 its power rather lessens as it becomes familiar4 ,the two most beautiful girls ,i ever met are now old maids4 ,the most winning girl ,i ever knew had absolutely a plain face4 ,there was a charm about her which attracted all men1 and which made them swear1 after they knew her1 that she was a most beautiful creature4 ,even after she had refused a man1 he loved and admired her4 ,you all want to look as pretty as you can1 but you must not place any dependence upon beauty to settle you in life4 ,many men prefer stylish girls to pretty ones4 ,look about you at the married women of your acquaintance4 ,how few of them are pretty now1 or were in their youth4 ,two of the worst wives ,i have ever known are pretty women4 ,their husbands made the mistake of marrying for beauty4 ,a vain girl is generally selfish1 and men do like an unselfish girl4 ,a man wants an unselfish wife4 ,if you wish men to admire you1 you must first be a true woman with a noble character4 ,look to your home-life4 ,men catch glimpses of that when you least think it4 ,they know well that an industrious1 sweet-tempered1 unselfish daughter makes an industrious1 sweet-tempered1 unselfish wife4 ,a girl of whom her brother is very fond1 and whose special friend she is1 goes into the society of men1 where it is known1 with a wonderful recommendation4 ,as a general thing you can tell how a girl will treat her husband by the way she treats her brother4 ,i once knew a young man who asked a girl to marry him because he saw her tender1 loving solicitude for her brother4 ,men like bright girls4 ,even the most sober prefer a jolly1 laughing girl4 ,as ,i once heard a man say about a very merry one1 8,think of having such a creature always in your home6 ,you wouldn't have much chance for blues40 ,i knew a wonderfully homely girl who was so jolly that men surrounded her wherever she went4 ,men like a good time1 and a lively girl will give it to them4 ,if you cannot all be jolly1 you can be bright1 talkative1 and interested4 ,jolly girls are never sentimental4 ,a man hates a sentimental girl4 ,sentimental looks1 long faces1 teary expressions are only attractive in novels4 ,men1 out of books1 do not like to wipe away tears--they prefer to walk away from them4 ,never forget that a man is a selfish being4 ,keep that little fact in view continually2 and if you want to please him1 pander to it4 ,if anything will disgust a man with a girl1 it is to see her make a fuss4 ,even if you have real heart-sorrow1 the more you control yourself1 the more you will be admired4 ,remember you look your very worst when you cry4 ,the tears do not 8well up10 and 8overflow10 8chasing each other down your alabaster cheeks like so many pearly drops10 as they do in novels4 ,no3 your face squints up1 while your eyes and nose get red4 ,instead of being attractive1 unless the man for whose benefit you have gotten up this scene loves you1 he will walk away4 ,it is manlike to walk off at the first sign of a storm1 and to avoid everything uncomfortable4 ,bear that in mind4 ,when you treat a man to a scene on any subject1 you lose your hold upon him4 ,ten to one he will leave you to seek the society of some lively girl who is wise enough to hide her tears4 ,a man likes a sensible girl4 ,he likes real good common sense4 ,nothing is more trying than an unreasonable woman1 and a man will not have anything to do with her when he does not have to do so4 ,he may be politely pleasant to her1 but he does not care to have her for his wife4 ,to be sure plenty of unreasonable1 trying women are wives4 7,i would they were not67 ,they had the faculty of hiding their real character before the binding vows were spoken4 ,it is better to have nothing to hide4 ,be your honest true self always4 ,if you are naturally endowed with common sense1 try to cultivate it4 ,learn to be reasonable1 and try not to be governed by your feelings4 ,a man never cares for a girl whose feelings and not duty are her guide4 ,bear in mind that ,i am not talking about the man who is in love with you1 but the one who views you calmly but may sometime love you4 ,men like good-natured girls4 ,i know two sisters1 the eldest of whom is quick-tempered1 resentful1 ill-spoken1 and is over thirty without a gentleman friend4 ,she never had one4 ,the younger1 not yet nineteen1 is good-natured and lively4 ,all the men who know her like her4 ,one man1 in fear of her being carried off by some one else1 has secured her promise to marry him4 ,a man likes to feel that the wife he takes to his home is going to brighten that home4 ,he does not want a high temper to contend with4 ,a girl never shows off to a worse advantage than when she is angry4 ,men are attracted by sweetness of disposition4 ,no greater compliment could be paid to any woman than is paid to the ,princess of ,wales when she is called ,her ,royal ,sweetness4 ,directly we hear that1 we are drawn to her4 ,sweetness of mind and manner is woman's greatest charm4 ,a sweet woman is beloved by every one4 ,it is woman's province to be sweet4 ,gail ,hamilton says1 8,it is the first duty of woman to be a lady40 ,i say1 it is her first duty1 after being a ,christian 7which is certainly first of everything71 to be sweet4 ,she says to be a lady is more than to be a prince4 ,let me add that to be ,her ,royal ,sweetness is more than to be ,her ,royal ,highness4 ,we all are won by a sweet manner4 ,a sweet smile will even draw us to a stranger4 ,it can be yours if you will cultivate it4 ,begin at home4 ,lay the foundation there4 ,be sweet at heart4 ,do not put on gracious smiles and winning ways for the outside world only4 ,if they are not natural1 you will be caught tripping sometimes4 ,circumstances may arise when you will show the man whom you are the most anxious to win what you truly are4 ,although that will be a good thing for him1 it will be bad for you4 ,be genuine4 ,counterfeit is detected in the long run4 ,i know a woman who outside is the very ideal of sweetness1 but who is a perfect demon at home4 ,she won her husband1 whom she now drives almost to madness1 by that assumed sweetness4 ,in spite of smiles and graciousness1 she is the most friendless woman ,i know4 ,the world demands genuine coin1 and will detect counterfeit4 ,so begin at home to be sweet1 and unconsciously it will become your natural manner4 ,you will not have to assume it3 it will be your own4 ,a girl may be more than plain1 even homely1 but if her manners are gentle1 her voice sweet and low1 her bearing womanly1 her power is wonderful4 ,a charming smile unlocks many a door which is barred to a stiff1 ungracious manner4 ,a charming smile warms every one it greets4 ,it is particularly winning to a man4 ,it has in it a welcome which fascinates him1 and brings him to you again4 ,a gracious1 sweet manner is of more account in winning your way with the sterner sex than millions4 ,more girls are married for their sweetness than for their money4 ,a charming1 bright greeting1 will sometimes engage a man's interest or attention on the spot4 8,be courteous0 at all times4 8,be courteous0 under all circumstances even the most trying1 in your family1 among friends1 and with strangers4 ,i remember it was said of a sweet girl at school1 8,she would be polite to ,satan himself if he came to her room40 ,i almost believe it4 ,i once heard a truly sweet girl say1 8,i was so provoked20 when another girl broke in1 8,i don't believe that4 ,any one knows that you cannot get provoked40 ,sensible men like an economical girl4 ,a man does not want to feel that after marriage all his money1 especially if he does not have much of it1 is going to be wasted4 ,men like healthy girls4 ,a man hates to hear a woman complain4 ,he is not sympathetic4 ,men rarely are2 but then you must take them as you find them1 not as you would have them4 ,just there lies the secret of some girls' failure to attract2 they have no patience with a man's imperfections1 and are unwise enough to allow him to see that they have discovered them4 ,men like girls who are hearty and who have a hearty interest in things4 ,a real live girl is always a favorite4 ,a man avoids a sentimental girl4 ,do not quote poetry4 ,do not look languishing4 ,do not model your conduct after the heroines of novels4 ,study real life1 and be real4 ,do not expect anything to occur to you as it does to girls in novels3 it never will4 ,do not exact too much attention4 ,a man hates to give it where it is exacted1 even when it is your right4 ,it is their way to pay it only when they feel like doing so4 ,a man never wants to be controlled4 ,before he is in love1 he is particularly alive to any effort to do so4 ,when he is in love1 he is more blind to it2 but even then it is not well to press it4 ,to be thoroughly attractive you must have a great deal of tact4 ,tact has been called the supremest weapon in a woman's hands4 ,without it1 she is helpless4 ,with it1 she is powerful4 ,tact will enable you to see just what to do1 how to do it1 what to say1 and how to say it4 ,men are not all alike4 ,what will please one may not please another4 ,they are all built on the same general plan1 however1 and if you know one well1 you know pretty much all there is to be known about the whole sex4 ,yet different lines of conduct are to be pursued with different men4 ,a girl with tact grasps this in a moment4 ,indeed1 she grasps the situation every time and pleases every time4 ,you must understand man-nature4 ,you can learn a great deal of it from your brother4 ,let me tell you too that if girls would more frequently advise with their brothers1 they would get along a hundred-fold better4 ,a brother can give you an insight into other men1 and at the same time look after your interests4 ,you will rarely fail to go right and to do right1 if you will make him your confidant4 ,find out what he likes1 and you will know what other men like4 ,if you would be attractive1 you must hide your feelings4 ,i know of no time at home or abroad when it is well to show your real feelings if they are disagreeable4 ,bear in mind that ,i do not lay down a code of laws to be practised only abroad regardless of your home-life4 ,let the first man upon whom you try your winning arts be your father4 ,make him sure that you are the most perfect of girls4 ,then try your brothers4 ,as the most lovely of daughters and sisters1 you will be real when you are attracting other men by your winning manners4 ,a man likes a girl who is read up--at least in the news of the day4 ,he does not want to be instructed1 and he never likes a girl who knows better than he does about things4 ,if even you are sure he is wrong1 do not correct him4 ,that would be a wound to his vanity1 which is itself a fatal thing to do4 ,if you are better educated than he is1 do not let him know it4 ,appear to receive instruction1 and let your knowledge be a sort of cushion for his4 ,be interested in what he talks about1 and willing to learn4 ,give him your full attention when he talks to you4 ,it is a lack of tact that makes a girl show a want of interest4 ,it is a lack of tact too that makes a girl let a man see what a good opinion she has of herself1 when she ought to be showing him what a good opinion she has of him4 ,it is very well to have it settled in your own mind just what you are1 and what your attractions are1 but do not let any know of that opinion4 ,it is well to have a good opinion of yourself3 it will give you an ease in society and a confidence to go ahead and win4 ,be sure1 however1 that you are worthy of that opinion4 ,be sure that you are not deceiving even yourself4 ,never allow a man to sacrifice his comfort for you4 ,if he is rude enough even to ask to smoke in your presence1 with your sweetest smile give him permission to do so4 ,promote his comfort in every possible way4 ,they notice these things and like such attentions4 ,do not feel it your right always to have the best of everything and he the worst4 ,decline to accept the sacrifices that he as a gentleman will insist upon making4 ,some girls will heedlessly accept anything with a sort of blind gross selfishness4 ,the girl who is unselfish at home1 and who looks out for the comfort of her family before she does her own1 will unconsciously carry the same winning spirit with her wherever she goes4 ,the girl who is selfish at home1 and who puts on her sweetness with company dress1 will often forget all about it1 especially under any excitement4 ,do not allow a man to spend much money upon you4 ,he rarely cares to do so1 but does it because it is customary among a certain class1 and thinks that you expect it of him4 ,give him a pleasant surprise when he invites you into a restaurant or elsewhere1 by declining4 ,you do not want to be indebted to him in a monetary point of view--it lessens your dignity4 ,it would not be a pleasant thing to hear him count up how much he has spent upon you4 ,a man will do it1 and make remarks about it to other men too4 ,they have it all done to a fine point1 and know just which girl is expensive in her tastes1 and which one it costs the most to take out4 ,i have heard them talk when ,i have been behind the scenes4 ,some girls1 ,i am sorry to say1 will even go so far as to hint that they would like to be taken to a certain entertainment or out for refreshments4 ,there is much bitter truth in the jokes we read about the ice-cream girl4 ,the writer of them1 ,i always think1 has smarted under the custom4 ,no matter what a man is himself1 he likes a modest girl4 ,true modesty has a great charm4 ,a girl without it is like a faded flower4 ,as a general thing1 her end is sad4 ,beauty is fleeting1 but modesty gives a charm which outlasts youth4 ,a retiring1 gentle girl is something to seek after2 and a man rather seek4 ,a bold girl may receive more attentions from a certain class of men1 but less love in the long run4 ,that 8certain class of men0 you want to avoid instead of seeking to attract them4 ,the real gentleman1 the kind for whose attentions you care1 never wants anything to do with a bold1 loud girl4 ,the loud girl is never a lady4 ,cultivate a low1 sweet voice at all times4 ,abjure slang and chewing gum4 ,of the two evils ,i do not know which is the worst2 but ,i do know that no true lady is addicted to either4 ,men like large-minded1 large-hearted girls4 ,they like girls who have no envy in their nature1 who can be fair and just even to a rival1 who will see good in every one1 and speak of that instead of the evil4 ,if you meet a girl whom you feel is your superior1 emulate her2 try to become all she is4 ,at the same time1 be large enough to acknowledge her excellence4 ,your very humility and sweet praise of her will be a winning grace4 ,ten to one the man will think how sweet you are instead of seeing the excellent traits you point out in her4 ,bitter1 narrow-minded girls have an idea they can bring a superior girl down to their level by casting mud at her4 ,it is a species of mud that always flies back1 with a sort of a double back-action arrangement1 and does all the harm to the thrower4 ,in the first place1 it is not ,christ-like to speak unkindly of any one2 in the second1 men hate to hear it4 ,it is only a weak one who will join in with you4 ,in the third place1 it is so small1 and tells so plainly that you are narrow1 envious1 inferior4 ,instead of trying to pull a girl down1 always try to climb up beyond her heights4 ,be large enough to discern and acknowledge whatever good you see in any one4 ,be charitable to the wrong-doings of your friends4 ,never mention the plainly seen faults of another girl4 ,in this evil world1 be as though you saw no evil4 ,be pure4 8,to the pure all things are pure40 ,let all things and all people be pure in your sight4 ,make yourself worth having1 and men will want to have you4 ,strive to cultivate a true womanliness and to become an efficient person4 ,be a girl who can help herself1 who is not ignorant of work or too lazy to do it4 ,do not be a mere toy whom men will flirt with and then drop when they want to marry a woman who will be a helpmeet4 ,sensible men do not want to marry a bundle of nothing for a wife4 ,when they are cheated into doing so1 they repent it all their lives4 ,you do not want to think that the man whom you will marry is going to repent the act4 ,i know ,i would rather die on my wedding-day4 ,i think that if a man to whom ,i was married should hint by word or deed of such a repentance1 ,i would feel that my life was a complete failure1 and should want to go out of it then and there4 ,be accomplished and brilliant if possible1 but above all things prepare yourself to be a helpmeet for a man4 ,men like talents in a girl1 especially music2 but a man likes to have his wife know how to keep house4 ,learn that4 ,learn to make all sorts of garments and to cook1 even if you are wealthy4 ,,chapter ,,iii4 ,,the ,,girl ,,who ,,wins4 ,being an attractive girl whom all men like is not exactly the same thing as setting about deliberately to win some one man's heart4 ,it has been said that the girl thinks of matrimony before the man does4 ,he goes on blindly and thoughtlessly until he is so deep in love that he cannot retreat2 while from the very start she thinks whether or not she would like to wed him4 ,it may be that you know some young man whom in a womanly way you would like to win4 ,let us suppose that in the secret recesses of your heart you have decided that you would like to marry him4 ,in the first place1 you must not fall deeply in love with him4 ,if you fail1 you do not want to be broken-hearted2 and too1 when a girl is really up and down in love1 she loses control of herself4 ,she is no longer sure of herself and of her conduct4 ,you must keep cool and calculating4 ,you must admire the man1 and feel that at that time he is the only one you could love4 ,lose just enough of your heart so that1 when he is won and asks for your love1 you can give it to him4 ,you must be able to arrange your mode of warfare1 and always have perfect possession of yourself4 ,there must be no silly excitement when he is present1 and downcast face when he is away4 ,such a course would surely provoke comment2 and your conduct must not be commented upon4 ,no one must be allowed to suspect that you are interested in him4 ,it is not your province in any way to go a-wooing2 but you can work wonders in the way of winning the man you want4 ,i have read that a woman may marry whom she will4 ,i almost believe she can4 ,you cannot1 however1 go about in an open way as a man can4 ,with him the battle is sometimes half won when he makes it known that he wishes marriage4 ,with you it would be all lost4 ,you must never run after a man4 ,make yourself so attractive that he will seek you4 ,then it is all in your own hands4 ,you can keep him beside you4 ,you may have to wait some time for him to come4 ,be patient4 ,nothing is ever accomplished without patience4 ,an impatient1 nervous anxiety on your part will be likely to spoil everything4 ,never go where you know he will be and where he does not expect you1 if you can avoid doing so4 ,better1 by far1 let him miss you where he anticipates seeing you than to see too much of you4 ,his disappointment will show him how much he is interested in you4 ,do not hesitate to let him see that you have a modest1 maidenly interest in him4 ,men like that4 ,it must be done in a retiring way as if you did not intend to have him see it1 but could not help yourself4 ,while a man will boast of a girl running after him1 this little secret of yours1 which by his acuteness767 he has discovered1 he will keep sacredly to himself4 ,the very modesty with which you try to veil it will heighten its value in his eyes4 ,do not hesitate to let him see by your greeting that he is welcome4 ,i do not mean that you are to be effusive4 ,it is done by your smile1 your look1 more than by words4 ,girls make the mistake of greeting a man coolly in fear of appearing forward or of showing a regard4 ,never be cool to the man you want to win4 ,ward ,mc,allister says in his 8,society as ,i ,have ,found ,it03 8,the value of a pleasant manner is impossible to estimate4 ,it is like sunshine2 it gladdens4 ,you feel it1 and are at once attracted to the person without knowing why40 ,young girls are rarely mistress of these sweet1 little1 but telling arts4 ,the knowing just how comes later in life4 ,balzac has said that a woman of thirty is at her most fascinating and dangerous period4 ,the women who have been the most famous for their power over hearts have all been nearer forty than twenty4 ,this seems incredible to you yet in your teens4 ,you now look upon twenty-five as a species of old age4 ,at thirty1 you think1 as far as men are concerned1 a woman is in the sere and yellow leaf2 while at forty they are little less than in their dotage4 ,look out1 that while you are counting on your youth to marry you1 some of these females in the sere and yellow leaf1 or even in their dotage1 will carry off the prize1 because she knows how and you do not4 ,the fact is1 the woman of thirty is still young now-a-days1 whatever she was in our grandmothers' time4 ,she can win men's love too4 ,she knows the world so well that she takes men as she finds them1 while the girl in her teens does not4 ,the girl aspires too often to make them fit in her narrow mould4 ,girls are too often narrow in their ideas4 ,in the secret acceptance of a man's faults1 or taking him as you find him1 lies a great deal the secret of power over them4 ,you girls are too sure of yourselves1 too fixed in your opinions1 too certain that you are right and that others are wrong4 ,you are too anxious to set a man right4 ,they have a way of their own of not wanting to be set right4 ,they never want to be corrected4 ,if they are wrong1 their ignorance is bliss to them4 ,girls have little charity4 ,they are generally hard in their judgments of everything and of everybody4 ,they take delight in showing off what they know1 and making a man feel like a fool4 ,a man never allows the same girl to make him feel like a fool twice4 ,once is enough for any man4 ,he seeks the society of another straightway4 ,girls are given to display a superiority1 and make a man feel small4 ,again he walks off4 ,a man never falls in love with a girl who makes him feel small4 ,now the charming girl hides her own opinions--her superiority1 and brings out what is best in the man4 ,this is what you must do every time4 ,when you seek to win a man1 make him pleased with himself4 ,the better he is pleased with himself the better he will like you4 ,this is not done by bold1 outspoken flattery 7although a man will swallow larger doses of that than you suppose71 but by adroitly showing him his own best side4 ,if you have to touch his tender places1 do it with a soft hand that will soothe instead of wound4 ,a man likes a smart girl4 ,your smartness or your brilliancy must1 however1 be kept in the background4 ,you must not use it to dazzle him1 but to make him feel that he is brilliant4 ,if he is witty1 never try to be more so than he is4 ,if he is highly educated and you are more so1 still be willing to be instructed by him4 ,never aspire to teach him4 ,a man does not want to be set right by a woman4 ,if he is a talker1 so manage that he will do all the talking1 if he wishes to1 while you are the interested listener4 ,i do not mean that you are to be mum3 you are to be so interested that you cannot help sometimes breaking in4 ,all your remarks should be to the point1 and so worded that he will be led on until he is even surprised at his own powers of conversation and brilliancy4 ,there is no surer way than this to keep him at your side4 ,if he looks at his watch it will be to see how much longer he can remain with you1 not because he wishes to hurry away4 ,when he finally must leave you1 he will have so much better an opinion of himself that he will be quite a new man4 ,his thoughts of you will be most flattering4 ,he will not know why4 ,men rarely analyze their emotions4 ,if they did1 it would be worse for us and our little arts4 ,in a certain way they go about blindly4 ,a man is self-centred4 ,he loves to talk about himself4 ,his vanity is his weak point4 ,if he is no talker1 and all other topics fail1 lead him to talk about himself4 ,only one man in a hundred will fail to respond to this bait4 ,he does not know that he is engrossing the conversation in this way3 he only knows that you are delightful4 ,the wonderful charm some girls have for men lies in the interest she shows in him1 and the tact with which she makes him think well of himself4 ,a man will not be snubbed4 ,in novels1 especially of the ,duchess kind1 the abject small creature whom she calls the hero thrives upon it4 ,his love feeds upon snubbing1 and grows more intense4 ,he falls in love at first sight1 and the worse his charmer treats him the more he loves her4 ,this is not true to life4 ,these books are full of false ideas1 and do much harm to the girl who reads them4 ,it seems almost coarse to advise flattery4 ,flattery is coarse4 ,you can1 however1 discover a man's good qualities1 talents1 etc41 and praise them without limit4 ,men will swallow large doses of praise without so much as a wink4 ,they do not even know you are praising them2 they are only conscious of being pleased4 ,you must be discreet1 however1 in giving your doses1 and above all things avoid getting the name of being a flatterer4 ,you can sometimes give praise with an unsparing hand1 but you must be sure of the right occasion4 ,a public man may be praised ad libitum4 ,in fact1 a man who sings1 acts1 speaks in public needs it4 ,the private man wants it too4 ,he gets less of it from the world in general1 and your good opinion1 delicately expressed1 will be all the more acceptable4 ,when you have a field all to yourself1 be sure and improve the occasion4 ,the girl who is affectionate wins4 ,i do not mean to imply that you are to embrace every man you meet or to allow anything of the kind from them4 ,you are to show a certain warmth of feeling4 ,no man likes a cold girl4 ,ice repels4 ,a friend of mine1 whose great attraction was her warmth of manner1 mowed down hearts like ten-pins ,her greeting always was more than cordial4 ,she gave almost an affectionate grasp of the hand1 allowing her hand to lie there a mere shadow of time1 while her beaming smile showed her delight at the meeting4 ,there was life and warm blood in the touch of her slender fingers which made many a man's heart beat quickly for her4 ,she made a man feel that in winning her he would be winning a loving wife1 and that is what a man always wants4 ,another equally successful girl made the man with whom she was talking feel that he was the only man of much importance in the world2 all her interest was in him--just in him4 ,every look was flattery of the worst kind4 ,we sometimes say that a girl has an indescribable charm and a way with her that no man can withstand4 ,i think her power is simply that she makes a man think better of himself4 ,she gives him a confidence in himself4 ,she makes him pleased with himself4 ,she shows an interest in his greatest interest1 himself4 ,instead of wounding his vanity1 which is almost greater than his heart1 she flatters it4 ,men rarely overlook an insult to the former4 ,a girl who has made a man think less of himself may give that man up on the spot4 ,she is crossed off of his books forever4 ,there are occasions when you must exercise a good deal of forbearance with a man if you wish to win him4 ,a man is prone to wander4 ,he may be paying attention to some other girl when you most want him4 ,although it is very annoying1 there must be nothing cold in your greeting when he comes to you again4 ,you must not reproach him4 ,you must simply make yourself a great deal more fascinating than she is4 ,you must be more sweet and winning if possible than you were before4 ,take pains never to speak ill of this possible rival4 ,it is neither ,christian-like or lady-like to do so4 ,it is bad taste4 ,the man knows you are jealous4 ,he hates to hear bitter words4 ,it looks very much as if you could and would make bitter remarks to your husband4 ,if you reproach him now for wandering1 he may judge truly that your husband will have little liberty4 ,if you are jealous and inclined to make a fuss before there is even any engagement1 what will you be like after marriage8 ,if you would win1 cultivate a sweet1 gentle1 forbearing spirit4 ,be always gracious4 ,cultivate a kindly manner4 8,be free from arrogance1 self-assertion1 self-consciousness1 considerate of the feelings of others40 ,be courteous and kind in manners to every one4 ,,chapter ,,iv4 ,,the ,,girl ,,who ,,fails4 8,the young man fights shy of the girl who makes a dead set after him10 was the inelegant1 but o'er-true paragraph ,i read in the paper not long since4 ,the paragraphist was evidently a man and knew his sex4 ,the girl who runs after a man fails4 ,she more likely disgusts him than flatters him4 ,he does not want her or her attentions when he can have them without the seeking4 ,it is man's province to woo1 and his whole nature seems to revolt against a turning of the tables4 ,i call to mind a schoolmate who on this account was a complete failure4 ,she was pretty1 bright1 even witty1 well educated1 moved in good society1 and had money1 but no man wanted her4 ,her boldness disgusted all of them4 ,when she saw one she fancied1 she paid such open court to him that he avoided her4 ,some time afterwards1 when she saw the uselessness of pursuit there1 she turned her attentions elsewhere1 running after another man4 ,although naturally attractive1 ,i never knew a man who wanted her4 ,i have known of other girls who have never married for this same reason4 ,it seems to be a common fault4 ,it is a serious one4 ,if you are at all inclined to be forward with men1 stop it4 ,you will not only fail to marry1 you will lose respect4 ,you gain nothing and lose all4 ,you cheapen yourself and your charms when you 8throw yourself at a man's head40 ,as it has been decreed from the beginning of the world that man is the head of the woman1 so it is decreed that as he shall protect her1 he is the one to woo and she the one to be won4 ,you will meet coarse men who will respond to all your advances4 ,they will pay you attention just for the fun of the thing4 ,they will never marry you1 and it would be a good lesson to you if you could hear them talk of you among themselves4 ,a man never spares a girl who has no respect for herself4 ,a man whom you run after may even say many tender things to you4 ,he may lead you up to the point where1 if you had not begun it1 you would have a right to expect him to ask you to marry him4 ,he doesn't4 ,he stops just there4 ,a girl's great charm is a sweet1 womanly modesty1 which appears to hide a love she cannot help feeling4 ,it is a great mistake to let your male friends see you with any blemishes upon you4 ,if you have a breaking-out on the face1 a swollen cheek1 a red nose1 or anything which disfigures you1 hide yourself till it is over4 ,men like to idealize a girl whom they admire1 and they cannot idealize a swollen face or a red nose4 ,i knew a girl who continually had styes on her eyes4 ,she was not wise enough to hide herself at the time1 but continued to go out where she would meet her male friends4 ,she has never married1 and ,i have always thought that this is the reason4 ,another girl had her front teeth drawn1 and went about toothless for a while4 ,other girls do not hesitate to let men see them with their bangs in curl-papers4 ,a man will never let you see him with his hair not combed or with his face lathered for shaving4 ,be tidy always4 ,have your hair combed1 your dress neat1 even if it is old4 ,patches are to be respected1 while holes mark the sloven4 ,always1 even if you are scrubbing the floor1 be ready to see any one who comes4 ,the very one in whose eyes you most desire to appear well may come then4 ,some men have a way of dropping in at such unexpected times4 ,many a man has been disillusionized by a dirty dress or a frowsy head4 ,men like a nice appearance4 ,they never want to marry a sloven if they know it4 ,a bright and interesting writer has never married for this reason4 ,her head is never combed1 and there is always a rip somewhere in her dress4 ,her hands are generally touched off with ink4 ,the independent1 self-reliant girl is rarely a favorite with men4 ,a man loves to protect4 ,he does not like a masterful1 bossy girl4 ,he does not want to follow as if he were a spaniel4 ,it is a poor specimen of a man who does not want to lead4 ,three sisters were left with a very little money at the death of their father4 ,they were self-reliant and thorough business women4 ,they invested their money to such good advantage in real estate that in a few years they became wealthy women4 ,they were never married4 ,it would have been impossible for any man with any self-respect to have loved either of them3 they were so mannish1 independent1 and self-reliant4 ,do not be of the so-called woman's rights order4 ,men hate strong-minded women who are forever harping on the wrongs of women and of the rights they are going to have4 ,that kind of girl generally does have a wrong--the wrong of being neglected by the sterner sex4 ,a woman's right is a husband1 a home1 and children4 ,it is her right to have something to love and to make happy4 ,when she wants to usurp a man's place1 she is going out of her sphere and makes a failure of her life4 ,if you have a leaning towards 8woman's rights10 erect yourself and lean the other way4 ,if you do not1 you are doomed to unattractive spinsterhood1 dress reform1 and the lecture platform1 and to feed on husks4 ,that sweet little wife yonder1 who hardly knows who is being voted for1 and whose horizon is bounded by her husband1 is feeding on corn4 ,she believes that her rights are wifehood and motherhood1 and she has them4 ,a self-assertive girl fails4 ,a self-assertive1 selfish1 self-centred girl is no man's ideal4 ,it is unwomanish as well as unwomanly4 ,a girl who can push ahead and take her own part is generally allowed to do so4 ,it is a mistake to be anything that is unfeminine4 ,men never admire girls who have masculine characteristics4 ,only a fool will marry her4 ,do not ape men in dress or manner4 ,strive to be womanish and womanly at all times in every way4 ,the attractive woman is womanly sweetness personified4 ,the girl who insists upon attentions gets none4 ,the girl who looks upon her escort as her slave pro tem4 loses him4 ,you must never treat a man as if he were your servant4 ,he will not stand it from you1 although you may be attractive in other ways4 ,his manhood will assert itself1 and no matter how much he has loved you1 that love will be killed4 ,it is a poor outlook for married happiness4 ,he does not care to wed where he knows he will be henpecked4 ,a poor girl will marry before a wealthy one will4 ,the latter has it written upon her that it costs a mint to keep her4 ,she may be much admired1 but she is an expensive luxury4 ,unless a young man has exceptional means1 he must give her up4 ,you will find numbers of unmarried women in the highest society everywhere4 ,men are afraid to marry the daughters of millionnaires1 unless a large dowry is going to be among the wedding presents4 ,extravagant habits1 they know1 have been her rule4 ,she has never been taught to economize in anything4 ,she must have an establishment as elegant as her father's4 ,she could not think of beginning as humbly as her parents likely did4 ,so she either fails to marry at all1 or marries late in life1 when the death of her parents has given her an independent fortune4 ,a girl who shows her anxiety to marry generally fails to do so4 ,a man feels that it is marriage and not himself that she wants4 ,that wounds his vanity4 ,she is never self-possessed in the society of men4 ,she is so anxious to please that she plans beforehand what she will say4 ,when she says it1 it comes out wrong and does not fit in4 ,she is trembling and eager even if she does not run after him4 ,like vaulting ambition1 she o'erleaps herself4 ,every time you meet her1 she has new and fresh hopes4 ,she is waiting always anxiously for a proposal1 and would accept any man who offered himself regardless of creed 7almost color71 circumstances1 character1 and condition4 ,the sharp1 snubby girl never succeeds4 ,a man will not stay where he is snubbed or where his vanity is wounded4 ,some girls1 especially very young ones1 have an idea that they are saying smart things where they are only saying sharp things4 ,you hardly realize what a great mistake you are making when you try to be witty at a man's expense4 ,you only make a greater one when you are cutting in your remarks4 ,girls have an idea that it does a young man good to have1 as they express it1 8the conceit taken out of him40 ,i doubt if it does1 and even so1 you are not the one to do it4 ,let him have a good opinion of himself in his youth4 ,help him to it1 rather than to try to take it away from him4 ,the outside world will give him knocks enough as he battles his way up in it1 to take any amount of conceit out of him4 ,maybe he comes to you sometimes just smarting from one4 ,let him find for his wounds a balm4 ,learn to soothe and sympathize instead of hurting4 ,your tongue is sometimes so unwittingly cruel4 ,your laugh is so heartless that you make a man with a rhinoceros skin shrink4 ,it all flies back upon your own head1 however4 ,you will suffer for it afterwards4 ,it will only drive him from you4 ,girls often can attract who cannot keep a beau4 ,notice them4 ,see if they have not sharp tongues and do not love to take the conceit out of a man4 8,he has too good an opinion of himself1 but ,i let him know what ,i thought of him10 ,i have heard girls say4 ,one thing is certain--if you have done that1 you will never hear from him that he thinks much of you4 ,so round off your sharp corners4 ,remember that the young man with a good opinion of himself is the more easy to win1 because you can play upon his vanity4 ,do not speak your mind plainly4 ,certain persons pride themselves on plain speaking1 as if there were a virtue in hurting some one else's feelings4 ,when you hear any one say1 8,i always speak my mind10 you may know she says disagreeable things4 ,she thinks when she has said that that she can go ahead1 cutting right and left with her tongue4 ,they are never people who praise4 ,it appears that those who say 8just what they think0 generally think unkind things4 ,avoid doing so1 especially to a man4 ,it is unkind4 ,it makes more enemies the world over than anything else4 ,men will swallow praise ad nauseum1 but they will not take censure4 ,the eccentric girl had better never have been born1 as far as men are concerned4 ,they will have nothing to do with her4 ,if you are eccentric and have prided yourself upon it1 the sooner you become like folks the better for you4 ,a man will not pay attention to an oddity4 ,an outlandish hat that causes comment will sometimes drive him away4 ,he may not know what is the matter with it1 but he knows he will not ask you out while there is any danger of your wearing it4 ,it is a mistake to be odd in your conduct or language4 ,eccentricity grows upon one4 ,if you are given to it in your youth1 what will you be in your old age8 ,a man would know that if he were rash enough to marry you1 every day you would make him ashamed4 ,the girl who has too many gentlemen friends hardly ever marries4 ,there is something in every man's heart which subscribes to 8,the rose that all are praising1 ,is not the rose for me40 ,there are cases where jealousy of another's man's attentions will hasten a proposal4 ,but two are in the case there1 however1 and both are in love4 ,avoid many gentlemen callers4 ,do not allow your house to become a meeting-place4 ,a man will not fall in love where he sees you smile as sweetly on another man as you do upon him4 ,he will reign alone4 ,he never goes on shares where a heart is concerned4 ,a man may call often1 where he knows he will meet other men1 but it is only as a friend4 ,he does not fall in love with his hostess4 ,when he marries it will likely be some little modest girl who hardly knows any man but himself4 ,when ,i was very young ,i remember hoping that when ,i grew older ,i would have as many gentlemen callers as a certain young lady who lived near us4 ,every night her parlors were thronged4 ,it seemed to be a general meeting-place for young men4 ,her sister and herself lavished their smiles upon them4 ,she never married4 ,her sister married a man whom she met in another place1 and who hardly ever came to the house4 ,another girl had quite as many callers4 ,she must have seen her danger1 for she ceased to receive them4 ,some time later she married4 ,it is flattering to your vanity to have a great many gentlemen friends who call1 and who take you out1 but it will certainly stand in the way of marriage4 ,it is fun1 doubtless1 to count up a long list of escorts1 but the girl who can do so rarely counts up a long list of offers4 ,a girl who was so retiring that she was rarely invited out by a gentleman1 was loved by almost every man who got well-acquainted with her4 ,she could have counted up a long list of offers but a short list of escorts4 ,at a party she was a wall-flower4 ,she had few gentlemen callers1 yet it seems as though all men longed to possess her4 ,she passed most of her evenings alone with her family1 and married well4 ,so it shows that knowing many men would rather indicate no marriage than a surety of one4 ,the cold girl never succeeds4 ,a man would as soon make love to an icicle4 ,a man prefers fire4 ,he likes a warm1 living heart4 ,he wants to see that a girl has that heart4 ,a pretty1 stylish young girl whom ,i want to see settled in life is failing to do so on just that account4 ,she in not naturally cold1 but when she is at all interested in a man1 she becomes almost frigid in his presence4 ,she is too afraid of showing her interest in him to allow him to see that she responds to his4 ,a man wants an affectionate1 warm-hearted wife4 ,so he will marry what seems to him to be an affectionate girl4 ,there is a certain warmth of manner that will show this disposition4 ,a girl fails who will not let the man who is beginning to love her see that she can return love4 ,it must be shown modestly1 however4 ,you must be sympathetic4 ,man has his success and his failures in life4 ,as he comes to you1 he is thinking of them more than he is of you4 ,he wants to talk of them4 ,if you do not show a sympathetic interest1 he will go where he can get it4 ,draw him out on his favorite topic1 no matter if it is himself4 ,i remember once walking two squares with a gentleman who talked of nothing else but a slight injury on his hand4 ,an interesting1 intellectual lady is going through life unmarried for no other reason1 ,i believe1 than her lack of sympathy4 ,you are conscious of this lack whenever you converse with her4 ,if you mention yourself1 your humble aim and ambitions1 a dead silence falls4 ,you feel as if you were undone and wish you could hide your head4 ,a woman will hasten to change the subject and to make amends4 ,a man leaves and never returns4 ,a man likes to look1 as it were1 in a mirror4 ,he likes to see himself reflected in the eyes that meet his4 ,he wants to feel that the girl has so much interest in him that she is interested in every word he says about himself4 ,the girl who talks about herself usurps his prerogative4 ,he does not relish that1 and her society is stupid to him4 ,i is a man's pronoun4 ,you is a woman's4 ,very young girls who are filled with themselves and their own affairs are very much given to this4 ,as they grow older1 they see it does not do4 ,bear in mind that no matter how pretty you are or how sweet1 if you will talk about yourself to a man1 you become 8as tedious as a twice-told tale vexing the dull ears of a drowsy man40 ,there is an old witticism which tells the truth in a nutshell3 8,what is a bore8 ,a man who talks about himself when you want to talk about yourself40 ,the high-tempered girl fails4 ,a man bent upon matrimony avoids her if he is aware of it4 ,if you have such an infirmity1 try to get rid of it as you would a facial blemish4 ,try harder2 for it is indeed far worse than any bodily disfigurement4 ,our ,lord1 whose strength is sufficient for you always1 will help you to do so4 ,some girls falsely call it a high spirit4 ,it is anything but that4 ,it is a weak spirit4 ,a girl who gives way to temper has no control over herself4 ,she is weak instead of high and strong4 ,her doors are always open1 and whoever will may come in and upset her4 ,instead of being proud of it1 be ashamed of it4 ,while possessing it1 your life is a failure everywhere4 ,a sweet1 interesting1 lively conversationalist is one thing1 and a girl with a long tongue is another4 ,avoid gossip and meddling4 ,it is a mistake to entertain a gentleman with an account of your neighbor's failings and backslidings4 ,his interests are broader4 ,he rarely stoops to such little things1 and they weary him4 ,men never care for girls who have the reputation for being gossips4 ,fill your mind with better things4 ,read and enlarge your powers of conversation4 ,it is a mistake to be inquisitive4 ,while a man likes a girl to be interested in him and in his doings1 he does not want to be questioned about them4 ,a walking interrogation point is never a pleasant companion4 ,when you draw him out it must be with tact4 ,a precise1 prim1 what we call an old maidish girl is a failure4 ,she is born to a lonely life of spinsterhood4 ,unless she change she cannot escape her fate4 ,at heart she may be all that is true and good1 but no man will ever find that out4 ,as a rule men judge of us by outward appearances4 ,they take women more for what they seem to be than for what they are4 ,the good qualities of the prim girl are all lost upon him4 ,with gentlemen a loud girl never succeeds4 ,she can always attract the attentions of coarse men1 but a well-bred man avoids her4 ,he loves modesty4 ,he does not want the girl whom he escorts to be conspicuous by boisterous talking and laughing4 ,he does not want her to be hail-fellow-well-met with every man they meet4 ,it shows she has no modesty4 ,he cannot respect her and will not marry her4 ,it is never nice to be 8gay0 or 8fast40 ,the men whom you attract about you by it are not the men you want to marry4 ,they are the kind who do not want to marry you or any one else4 ,loud1 conspicuous dressing is never an attraction4 ,men like stylish1 well-dressed girls1 but they never like anything that is flashy or that attracts attention4 ,the girl who imagines every man she meets is in love with her rarely is loved by one4 ,this is a common fault with young girls4 ,it comes either from innate silliness or from the reading of too many novels4 ,the worst of it is1 she is not even cured of her folly when the men do not propose to her1 but do to some other girl4 ,she imagines some insurmountable difficulty was in his way1 and that he has only married the other girl out of pique4 ,that is the way it was in the last novel she read4 ,girls1 be sensible4 ,every man you meet will not fall in love with you4 ,when one does1 he will let you know it4 ,men are not given to sighing in secret over one girl1 then marrying another without love4 ,a man who loves you will be open about it4 ,he will not avoid you4 ,he acts on the spot3 sometimes without much thought4 ,so when a man does not pay attention to you1 rest assured1 unless you have offended him1 that he does not want to do so4 ,he is not in love with you4 ,he is more likely to pay attention without loving1 than to love without paying attentions4 ,a vain girl fails4 ,the pretty girl who depends altogether upon her looks and is proud of her beauty1 rarely marries4 ,i have spoken of this before4 ,it has been thought that in matrimony1 as in other fields1 the plain-featured girl has the greatest success4 ,a pretty girl starts out with false notions of her charms4 ,she thinks that she has only to be seen to be loved4 ,she overestimates her one gift1 and does not try to cultivate others4 ,youths who easily fall in love and as easily out again are caught by a merely pretty face4 ,men want something more4 ,let me quote from an article on this subject which ,i read the other day3 8,look about you and count the number of faded1 thwarted beauties you know1 who are embittered dependents1 or else late in life have picked up a broken stick in the shape of a partner to help disguise their crippled vanity4 ,in fact1 so frequently is this the case that between the ages of sixteen and twenty-six only extraordinary virtue and talent ever saves a belle from grievous folly in her aspirations40 ,so if you are a beauty and wish to marry1 ,i advise you strongly to put aside all vanity1 and to cultivate the superior charms of your plainer sisters4 ,never allow your mother to do the courting4 ,there are times when a girl can win a man against his will1 and he will never know that it was she who did it4 ,a mother never can do this4 ,a man knows it every time4 ,when he sees her efforts1 he is forewarned and on his guard4 ,it is all done in cold blood and deliberately by the mother4 ,the daughter has less deliberation and a great deal of warm blood when she attempts it4 ,he is likely to think3 8,what an interesting girl6 ,i believe ,i could get her if ,i tried10 and may try4 ,of the mother's efforts1 he thinks3 8,that old woman wants me to marry her daughter4 ,i can see through her4 ,i won't do it40 ,a mother may make herself so attractive that1 if she were a girl1 she would win him4 ,notwithstanding that1 he hardens his heart against the daughter4 ,a lady who1 even as a grandmother1 is attractive to men1 tried in her early married days to win a young man for her sister4 ,he responded quickly to her overtures1 and seemed glad to come to the house4 ,she thought she was succeeding1 when one day he said to her3 8,i know what you are about4 ,you might as well give it up1 you won't accomplish it4 ,if you were not married1 however1 ,i would propose to you to-day40 ,she did give it up4 ,a girl makes a mistake who brags of her conquests4 ,she should never speak of them to any one4 ,if a man whom you cannot accept offers you his hand1 forget that he did so4 ,by your manner to him when you meet afterwards1 endeavor to make him forget it4 ,the girl who tells about the hearts she has won1 wins no more4 ,men grow afraid of her4 ,she is not to be trusted1 they think4 ,if she will lead other men on to propose only to reject them1 then tell of it1 she will do the same to them4 ,a girl who fears that the man to whom she only is pleasant will think she is in love with him1 is not likely to accomplish much matrimonially4 ,she grows too self-conscious and stiff in her manner4 ,you must forget yourself1 or remember only that a man is won by a pleasant manner4 ,if he did think you were a bit interested in him1 he would be flattered by it1 and might return it shortly4 ,by a pleasant manner ,i do not mean a continual giggling4 ,while you must be animated and lively1 you cannot laugh continually4 ,a sensible girl can be grave as well as gay4 ,there are times1 and plenty of them1 when laughter jars4 ,there is certainly a time to laugh and a time to cry2 but there is never a time to giggle4 ,solomon gives a list of almost everything for which we have time1 but he never says a word about giggling4 ,a bright1 animated manner and continual giggling are two different things4 ,a bright girl is everywhere a success4 ,a giggler is generally considered half-witted4 ,a giggler has no depth of feeling4 ,a bright1 lively girl generally has a great deal of feeling2 she is not slow to show it1 either4 ,do not laugh when you talk4 ,do not laugh the moment a man speaks to you1 keeping it up all the time he is with you4 ,it looks as if you were delighted out of your senses4 ,do not laugh every time he looks at you till he begins to wonder if there is a black spot on his nose4 ,some men may prefer a grave girl any way4 ,you might study the man and the place before you are too lively4 ,it may be that some of you who read these chapters have failed so far to win any man's love4 ,examine yourself and your peculiarities to see wherein the trouble lies4 ,when you have found it1 strive to overcome the difficulty4 ,you cannot do it in your own strength4 ,the ,lord will help you4 ,he will give you grace to overcome every evil temper1 every disagreeable habit1 every unlovely manner4 ,if you ask ,him1 ,he will make you sweet and lovely4 ,rest assured that ,he is interested in your success2 for ,he did not intend woman to live alone4 ,,chapter ,v4 ,,some ,,unfailing ,,methods4 ,it is universally known that when a man and woman have a mutual interest1 they get interested in each other4 ,when they are in any way drawn together1 they soon find that they cannot live apart4 ,when a man grows accustomed to a woman with whom he is pleased1 he desires to keep her with him4 ,so we may consider that a companionship with a man is an unfailing way to win him4 ,this companionship unfortunately is not always easy to arrange4 ,it is often difficult to get up a mutual interest4 ,when you can1 be sure to do so4 ,it must come naturally however4 ,a forced arrangement1 plainly seen1 would defeat itself4 ,marriages frequently take place between parties who board in the same house4 ,seeing each other daily1 getting well acquainted1 and the mutual interest1 even of the table1 will draw them together4 ,a young lady boarded1 with her brother1 in a house where there were no other young ladies1 but a number of gentlemen4 ,all admired her1 several were smitten with her1 and two asked her hand in marriage4 ,a third began to think more of her than of the girl to whom he was engaged4 ,a widow1 with a nice home of her own1 took two clergymen to board4 ,it was not long before both wanted to marry her4 ,she did not want either of them1 but took the one who was the most persistent4 ,singing together is another mutual interest4 ,it is the means of many a marriage4 ,in a quartette1 the soprano and tenor marry1 the bass and alto4 ,the singer may marry his accompanist4 ,jennie ,lind married her unknown pianist1 ,goldschmidt1 who was younger than herself4 ,actors1 who are always thrown much together1 marry and unmarry ad libitum in a disgraceful way4 ,the marriage of the type-writer and her employer is so frequent that it has passed into a joke4 ,they grow interested in each other from mere companionship4 ,a student falls in love with the sister of his friend where he visits during vacation4 ,the late ,henry ,ward ,beecher met his wife at her father's home whither he had gone with a college chum1 her brother4 ,i had an aunt who had offers from two students brought home by her brothers4 ,this is such a common occurrence that enterprising mothers sometimes urge sons to bring home desirable students to introduce to her daughters4 ,a lawyer will marry a fair client4 ,i might add that he is the more likely to do so if he is settling up a large estate for her4 ,a physician rarely marries a patient4 ,if your heart is set upon a certain physician do not play the rle of an invalid4 ,when you are sick you should have a married physician4 ,a young lady was taken ill with pneumonia4 ,her family were strangers in the place1 and1 without knowing it1 called in an unmarried physician4 ,he was interested in the case1 but not in the least in her4 ,a year later he met her1 when in perfect health1 at the house of a mutual friend and fell in love with her4 ,living next door to each other will often make young people interested in each other4 ,church-work which brings young men and maidens together is fruitful of many marriages4 ,a young man was put on a fair-table with a number of ladies4 ,he fell in love with the only unmarried one on it4 ,a young clergyman comes in contact with so many girls1 and is so run after1 that going to his church and entering into the work for his sake is but lost labor4 ,if you want to work in a ,church1 do it for the ,lord1 without a thought of who has charge of that body of worshippers4 ,we learn from ,abelard and ,heloise what the pupil will become to the teacher4 ,almost always1 when neither are married1 free lessons in love accompany another kind of a lesson--that is1 if the lessons are private4 ,men fall in love with a lady who teaches them anything4 ,a young lady was taught ,hebrew by an unmarried clergyman4 ,they married about a year after the lessons began4 ,a man and woman who are in business together almost always marry4 ,an author has been known to marry her publisher4 ,a ,mr4 ,maxwell published ,miss ,braddon's novels1 and now she is ,mrs4 ,maxwell4 ,margaret ,sydney is the nom de plume of a writer who married her publisher1 ,daniel ,lothrop1 of ,lothrop and ,co4 ,an almost certain way to win a man's love is to win his confidence4 ,when a man talks to a woman about his greatest interest1 he becomes interested in her4 ,when he opens his whole heart to her1 he gives her that heart4 ,i never knew this to fail4 ,how to win this confidence is the puzzle4 ,the very man you want may be the one who knows the most about keeping his affairs to himself4 ,you will have to use tact and patience in drawing him out4 ,get him to talk about his business1 or make him talk of his books1 his pleasures1 his family3 always about himself4 ,persist in this gently4 ,show him you can keep a secret4 ,encourage him to talk about himself until he touches upon something that is nearest his heart4 ,some men will do this sooner than others4 ,the man who readily confides in you1 readily falls in love--and almost as readily falls out4 ,it is said that the heart which is easily won is hard to keep2 and that the heart which is hard to win you never lose4 ,when you have drawn any man to tell you his heart unreservedly1 he is yours4 ,a young man was in love with a girl of whom his mother did not approve4 ,he was much distressed by the fuss she made4 ,he did not want to give up the girl or to pain his mother4 ,he must talk of his trouble to some one1 and he selected a young girl who was visiting the family4 ,he told her all his troubles4 ,she encouraged him with infinite tact until he spoke unreservedly4 ,whenever he could find her alone he talked of that and of nothing else4 ,then he planned to be alone with her4 ,before three months he loved her better than he did the first one4 ,,chapter ,,vi4 ,a ,,word ,,of ,,warning4 ,the greatest mistake a girl can make is to allow familiarities from men4 ,a girl must be circumspect in her conduct4 ,she must be self-respecting4 ,having a proper self-respect and being a prude are two different things4 ,a man never likes a prude4 ,he never1 in his heart1 cares for one who has no self-respect4 ,a man1 of a certain class1 will pay her attention and take advantage of the liberties she allows1 but he never marries her4 ,you are not safe if you allow the least digression from the right path4 ,a slip once made can never be recalled1 and the second follows very easily on the first4 ,then comes the third1 and so on1 till ruin is the end for you--not for him4 ,it is a girl's own fault if she fall4 ,it is her place to guard her honor4 ,you will meet many a man who is lover-like and fascinating1 but if he says nothing about marriage1 leave him alone4 ,you do not want to hear of love1 if that is all he has to say4 ,never mind if you do love him4 ,if he loves you and finds he cannot possess you otherwise1 he will want to marry you4 ,beware of the beginning4 ,be careful of your conversation4 ,never smile at a joke with a double meaning4 ,meet it with silence4 ,do not pretend you do not understand if you do3 there are men who would take pleasure in enlightening you4 ,there are times when it is well to show that you do not approve of it2 you may even have to rebuke it4 ,thereafter avoid that man4 ,if he cares to continue your friendship1 he will know how he must behave himself4 ,never let a young man repeat a story to you that he would not repeat if your mother were present4 ,a man who would do that1 means no good to you4 ,an old and excellent rule is1 never talk about anything to a man you would not talk about before a third party2 and never talk to a girl as you would not talk if a man were present4 ,never say anything to either which you would not repeat to your mother4 ,a well-known writer has lately said3 8,it is always a mistake for a young girl to talk to a man as if she were blas and widely experienced in all human emotions1 frailties1 and faults4 ,many inexperienced1 innocent girls adopt this manner1 thinking it will render them fascinating in the eyes of men4 ,men take us for what we seem1 not for what we are4 ,the most hardened mondaine who wears a mask of frank innocence fares better with them than the good1 sweet-hearted girl who puts on blas airs and pretends to be a little wicked40 ,let your heart be pure4 ,keep your lips pure4 ,god can make and keep them so4 ,he can take away all interest in sin4 ,never make an appointment with a young man of which you cannot tell your mother4 ,when a young man urges you to deceive your mother1 he means to deceive you4 ,your mother is your best friend2 make her your confidante in all things1 then you will never go astray4 ,on the first approach of familiarities1 consult her and be guided by her advice4 ,men do not have to be told3 they know what girl they may approach familiarly and what one they must treat with respect4 ,you may be sure there is something wrong in your conduct if you are approached as you do not wish to be4 ,be careful not to call a man by his first name unless he is a relative4 ,a well-bred lady will not even address a man thus whom she has known in her childhood4 ,do not allow a man to call you by your first name4 ,you can easily show by your manner that it is distasteful to you4 ,check even the liberty of your ,christian name with the prefix ,miss4 ,although you may have an older sister1 you have a right to your father's name4 ,if you cannot be ,miss ,jones1 you can be ,miss ,mary ,jones4 ,when you are out walking with a gentleman1 do not allow him to grasp your elbow4 ,some men do this instead of offering the arm4 ,he is ill-bred if he attempts it4 ,it is too familiar altogether1 and is becoming too common4 ,a polished gentleman will not do it4 ,he will offer his arm4 ,beware of allowing a caress from a man to whom you are not engaged4 ,stifle in the beginning any attempt to do so4 ,do not so much as allow him to hold your hand4 ,no matter if you do like him1 and if his warm grasp does send the happy blood to your heart1 it is a happiness you have no right to--neither has he1 until he has spoken4 ,sometimes these things1 small as they seem1 are but the first step on the broad path that leads to destruction4 ,perhaps you like as much to feel that strong arm about you as he does to put it there4 ,it is in his power to make it right to do so2 it is not in yours1 so refuse it4 ,believe me1 you will gain nothing by it1 and may lose all4 ,if a man finds he cannot embrace you unengaged1 he will take steps to be engaged to you if he loves you4 ,poor child6 ,you allow it because you love him4 ,it may be anything but love for you and your good that prompts his action4 ,a man rarely binds himself to a girl who allows his caresses without it4 ,another thing1 while you are treasuring up this caress as a closely-guarded secret1 he is doubtlessly telling his comrades what liberties be can take with you4 ,that is too true4 ,the indiscretions which a girl will hide1 he will boast of--it is a man's nature4 ,he judges you by himself1 too4 ,he knows that he kisses other girls when he can get a chance1 and he supposes that you allow other men's caresses4 ,a man cares more for the caress than for the girl4 ,when he is not genuinely in love1 one girl will do almost as well as another4 ,he supposes it is the same with you4 ,he argues that if you are cheap to him1 you will be cheap to other men4 8,never speak of love till your lover speaks of marriage10 is a good old rule4 ,men do not talk much about marriage to a girl who will profess her love before he asks her to be his wife4 ,be careful to whom you give your photograph4 ,like figures1 they cannot lie4 ,if you have given it1 you cannot deny doing so3 it is there1 a fact1 in the young man's possession--he may show it to whom he pleases4 ,he generally pleases to show it to all his male friends4 ,it is another thing which cheapens you4 ,your picture is one of a collection he has of girls4 ,maybe for a while1 when exhibiting his gallery of beauties1 he may call you his best girl4 ,he does it all lightly1 and as the young men look over the collection1 they will make remarks about you all which1 if you heard them1 would make you blush4 ,if a girl has no more respect for herself than to give a picture to every man who asks for it1 you must not expect men to respect her4 ,it is no sign a man loves you because he asks for your picture4 ,if he does1 let him ask for you first4 ,he more likely wants to enlarge his collection of photographs4 ,if you went into his room1 you would see it stuck up in his mirror with a dozen or so of others4 ,it is a mistake to imagine that an engagement breaks down all barriers4 ,engagements are so frequently broken4 ,instead of being almost as sacred as marriage1 they are held lightly4 ,you must continue after your engagement to be careful of your conduct and not to allow any undue liberties4 ,do not let your lover's caresses be too frequent or passionate4 ,some young people act as if they only become engaged so they might kiss each other--they spend all their time at it when they are alone4 ,some of these things are sweeter if they are waited for4 ,couples who are parted during their engagement generally are the most happy when they are married4 ,they have not exhausted their affection2 instead of its being an old story1 it is fresh4 ,if it were worth the while1 ,i would advise you not to sit on a man's lap till you were his wife4 ,it is quite customary with lovers1 ,i know2 but it seems to me to be letting down bars which should be left up4 ,engagements are so easily broken that there should be stricter lines drawn4 ,surely no true woman who has entered upon her second engagement wants to remember how she sat on the lap of the first betrothed4 ,while there is no harm in so doing1 you will be on the safe side not to4 ,it is wrong to take money from your betrothed4 ,if you live on dry crusts and work till you drop1 refuse it4 ,be married in calico rather than have his money buy your wedding-dress4 ,sometimes girls will urge a speedy wedding-day4 ,you have no more right to do that than you have to ask him to marry you--the two go together4 ,if he is too slow and you know of no reason why he should be1 he does not care much for you2 you had better break the engagement4 ,however1 if your heart would break with the engagement1 try to make him more anxious to have you all to himself4 ,it is not a girl's place to be eager for the marriage4 ,if you are self-supporting and want to marry him because you are tired of working1 you wrong him4 ,no matter what reason you may have for wishing an early marriage1 it is never your right to propose it4 ,attentions from a married man are blasting to a girl's reputation4 ,no matter how fascinating he is1 how much you admire him1 how much you like his attentions1 refuse to accept them4 ,he is desecrating the most sacred ordinance1 marriage4 ,he is insulting you and wronging his wife4 ,eventually he will return to her1 leaving you with a tarnished name4 ,his wife will forgive him1 and society will forget he went astray2 but his wife will never forgive you1 and society will never forget it4 ,you will always be spoken of as the girl that was 8crazy after him40 ,it will stand in the way of a marriage for you4 ,men do not care to marry a girl who has been talked about1 or whose name was coupled with a married man's4 ,you lose everything by it1 almost your character4 ,there is no such food for gossip as the attentions of a married man to a girl4 ,they suspect you are not all you ought to be1 they have good reason to do so4 ,they may think if you will encourage a man to trample on his marriage vows1 you would trample on your own4 ,you are condemned by every one4 ,your vanity may lead you to feel a degree of triumph in winning a husband from a wife4 ,it is no triumph1 however1 to do so4 ,the man who will be so won is in most cases extremely weak and decidedly untrue4 ,it is not that your attractions are superior to hers1 it is that he is fickle1 and you were the first girl who accepts his unlawful love4 ,instead of being a triumph1 it is a sin4 ,instead of being a subject for boasting1 it is something to be ashamed of4 ,instead of encouraging him for one moment1 flee from him4 ,instead of looking upon him as your lover1 consider him your worst enemy3 an enemy who for the selfish indulgence of the time would ruin your whole life4 ,in this world of sin and sorrowful consequences of sin1 you cannot be too careful of yourself1 your conduct1 and your associates4 ,if a man is known by the company he keeps1 much more is a girl4 ,much misery will come from one imprudent1 maybe innocent1 act4 ,a trifle may sometimes be what starts you on the road to destruction4 ,that road is broad1 and very enticing to some2 but the end is death4 ,never drink with a man4 ,the pity of it that this should have to be written down6 ,there is a class of girls who aim to be a little fast4 ,they think they make themselves attractive to men by keeping pace with all their sins4 ,they think men will like them if they have a 8good time0 with them4 ,they call this a 8good time40 ,it is an unmitigated bad time2 a time that will make you and him bad too4 ,you will fail in your object1 for you will not attract him4 ,it is a low man who will care for a girl who cares so little for herself4 ,instead of drinking with a man1 keep him from doing so4 ,your power over men is very great1 girls2 it is much greater than you think4 ,you can make him good or bad1 if he loves you4 ,if he is only your friend1 you can help him withstand temptation and turn him from wrong4 ,try to exhibit the ideal woman always4 ,let your character be so elevated that you will raise the man who walks beside you4 ,be a pure1 true girl1 and he will be a better1 purer man4 ,the very thought of you1 as he goes out into a sinful world and meets temptations of which you are ignorant1 will be a shield to him4 ,next to the strength ,god can give him1 will be the remembrance of your goodness and purity4 ,he will1 for your sake1 abhor things which before had a fascination for him4 ,always be wrapt in a cloak of sweet maidenly reserve and dignity4 ,then no tongue can assail you1 no man will dare to offer you any familiarity2 the conversation and conduct of men will take a better tone in your society4 ,try to make every man you meet1 even a passing acquaintance1 better4 ,resolve that you will know no man whom you will not influence decidedly for good4 ,so act that when you look back in after years you can honestly say that you tried to make every man whom you knew well1 a ,christian4 ,so strive to lead young men to ,christ that you will see the fruits of your efforts dotted all along your path of life4 ,let every man whom you know be able to say1 as he looks back1 8,i have been a better man for knowing her40 ,in all your intercourse with men1 do everything to ennoble and nothing to lower his character4 8,let him see that you are a true woman and a ,christian3 one whose life is beautiful in its maidenly dignity and attractive loveliness40 ,,chapter ,,vii4 ,,the ,,secret ,,of ,,the ,,widow',s ,,power4 ,there is no doubt that a widow can1 if she choose1 attract a man where a girl is powerless to do so4 ,she has a charm which is irresistible when she pleases to exercise it4 ,this power lies greatly in her knowledge of man-nature4 ,it lies also in her taking a man just as he is4 ,instead of wounding his vanity by trying to make him conform to her ideas1 she makes him pleased with himself as he is4 ,girls have sharp corners which hurt a man if he runs against them2 widows never have4 ,girls are unkind2 widows never are4 ,girls like to tease and ridicule a man2 a widow is too wise to do so4 ,girls will wound even a man who is not sensitive2 a widow soothes4 ,girls never remember a man's feelings2 a widow never forgets them4 ,she has studied one man thoroughly4 ,she knows his peculiarities1 his weaknesses1 his strong points1 his likes and dislikes4 ,in knowing one man well1 she knows his sex4 ,she has learned well what will please one man4 ,in learning that she knows what will please all men4 ,she has learned to sink her own individuality4 ,she has learned to follow1 and has no desire to lead4 ,she knows that men like to be obeyed4 ,she knows they like their ease4 ,she knows they would rather be amused1 entertained1 than to dance attendance4 ,she knows that the best way to entertain a man is to make him talk of himself or his hobby4 ,she never minds how much he rides this hobby when he is with her4 ,a girl would forbid its entrance4 ,a widow may even get up and ride with him4 ,when a girl would show a man she has no interest in his affairs1 a widow would make him believe she was even more interested than he was4 ,a girl would say1 8,i get so sick of hearing that man talk on that subject that ,i won't listen to him40 ,the widow draws him out4 ,where a girl would cut him short1 she encourages him to go on at length4 ,he begins to connect her with his hobby4 ,he learns to come eagerly to her with every new development1 sure of sympathy4 ,when he is downcast about it1 he comes to her as quickly for the encouragement he is sure to get4 ,he begins to feel that there is no one in the world who understands and appreciates him as she does4 ,the rest soon follows4 ,a widow is sympathetic--she is sincere in that sympathy4 ,she has suffered and feels for all who suffer4 ,she can understand a heartache1 because she knows what it is to have her dearest earthly hopes shattered4 ,her life is a disappointment1 and she can weep with those who have been disappointed4 ,she has found out that life is not a bed of roses only1 but has many thorns4 ,she will help soothe the wounds that thorns have made in other hearts4 ,she knows that men have troubles1 little or great2 and she knows too much to give him any more4 ,she has stood by one man as he has fought with the world1 and knows that it is woman's province to strengthen him by her sympathy and helpful word for the battle4 ,she knows that when a man seeks a woman's society he wants peace4 ,she knows his vanity is wounded every day in his contact with men1 and that when he comes to her he wants it flattered4 ,so a widow tries to make a man happy and comfortable4 ,she rarely alludes to her own grief4 ,it is more interesting because she does not4 ,she mutely appeals for sympathy1 while she gives that same sympathy4 ,few young girls know anything about sorrow2 they cannot understand what it is4 ,they are generally so full of themselves they cannot sympathize4 ,herein lies their weakness1 and herein lies a widow's strength4 ,sympathy is a woman's greatest power4 ,girls are self-centred2 a widow never is4 ,a girl is absorbed in her own pleasure2 a widow has learned to make the pleasures of another hers4 ,a girl puts herself forward prominently2 a widow sinks her personality4 ,she has learned to do so4 ,she knows the man with whom she is talking is more interested in himself than he is in her4 ,she knows that no man cares as much for her interests1 plans1 hopes1 as he does for his own2 and she talks of his only4 ,she lets him take the lead in the conversation1 she follows4 ,a young girl has moods2 a widow has none4 ,she is always the same4 ,a man is sure of her4 ,he knows when he leaves her1 she will be the same when he meets her again4 ,i have known girls to lose an admirer by a cool greeting or change of demeanor4 ,a widow never would4 ,it is said that ,madame ,recamier's great charm was her gracious sweetness1 which was under all circumstances the same4 ,a girl fancies that a man thinks of her all the time1 as she does of him4 ,she likely thinks of him all day and dreams of him by night4 ,a man1 out in the world1 is engrossed in business--that is his first consideration4 ,it is only his leisure he can give to her4 ,he goes to her for his pleasure4 ,a widow knows this4 ,she has other things to occupy her mind1 and comes as fresh to him as he does to her4 ,she knows that he has not lived over and over her last remarks1 and she has not dwelt upon his4 ,she makes no mistakes in estimating his affection for her4 ,she never puts his affection to a test4 ,girls love to do so4 ,a widow knows that it will have to be a pretty strong one that will stand it4 ,she never makes any experiments4 ,she knows him in and out4 ,she knows what will please him and what will not please him4 ,she knows what flatters his vanity and what will drive him away4 ,her lessons have been too thorough to allow any mistake4 ,experience has taught her that the best way to win a man is to make him think more of himself4 ,experience has taught her that she can have her own way easily by proper management4 ,a girl fights openly for her own way4 ,she is unsuccessful as her plans are open4 ,a widow knows that the royal road to a man's heart lies through his stomach4 ,her little dinners and tempting lunches are a part of her mode of warfare4 ,a man will always go where he can get a good dinner4 ,he does not wait for a second invitation1 and hardly a first4 ,a man is always pleased with himself 7unless he is a bad case of dyspepsia7 when he has a good dinner4 ,when he is pleased with himself1 he is pleased with those about him4 ,when a man knows that an evening call means a pretty little lunch1 he is quite sure to come again4 ,he goes first for the sake of his stomach1 and later for the sake of his heart4 ,a widow never forgets that the better friends she and the man become1 the more likely he is to love her4 ,with a man and woman there is but a short step from friendship to love4 ,it has been said that there is no such thing as ,platonic friendships between the two sexes4 ,a widow knows that friendship ripens more quickly over the well-laden table than under any other circumstances4 ,a girl trusts to romantic surroundings4 ,a widow never does4 ,she has found out that her hero was fleshly1 and she knows that all men are4 ,she knows that only a boy1 wildly in love1 prefers moonlight to a substantial meal4 ,if a girl takes a meal with a man it is always at his expense4 ,a widow never allows a man to spend much1 if any1 money upon her4 ,she knows just how little he cares about doing so4 ,she has heard the opinion of one man strongly expressed on that subject4 ,she will not put one stumbling-block in a man's way4 ,a widow knows how to dress4 ,she knows just the kind of dresses a man likes4 ,she rarely is given to display4 ,she chooses quiet tones or continues to wear black4 ,costly apparel she is well aware will frighten away a man of limited means4 ,she studies herself1 and how to dress1 so as to make the best of both4 ,her art is so perfect that it is hidden4 ,a widow is in no haste to wed4 ,many do not wish to do so at any time4 ,she does not have to marry for a home3 she either has inherited one or is able to support herself4 ,she has no fear before her eyes of being an old maid4 ,years do not lessen her chances1 as they do a girl's4 ,she does not pretend to be young4 ,youth is not her attraction4 ,in these respects she is as independent as a man4 ,it is not matrimony alone she cares for1 if she marries1 but a congenial companion4 ,if she does not meet the right one this year1 she may the next4 ,she can afford to wait4 ,a widow is conscious of her power4 ,that gives her a good command of herself4 ,she knows1 from one man at least1 if not from more1 the full value of her charms4 ,she knows her power to retain one man's love even until the end4 ,she knows how to make a man happy4 ,she has done so4 ,she knows that what once won love will do so again4 ,she knows a man's weak points3 she knows his strong ones4 ,she knows her own weak points3 she may have been told of them very plainly4 ,these she takes pains to strengthen4 ,old bachelors are proverbially hard to win4 ,when one does marry it is almost always a widow4 ,she only seems to know how to attract him4 ,she knows what a hard fight it will be1 and sets deliberately about doing it4 ,she knows he is selfish4 ,only a selfish man tries to avoid family ties and troubles4 ,your warm-hearted1 unselfish men always marry4 ,a widow is not shocked at his selfishness4 ,she has not looked for perfection4 ,she helps him be selfish4 ,she makes him look upon her as one who will encourage his pet foibles4 ,she shows him that she will help him with them2 instead of having to give up for her 8my dog and my cat10 she will pet 8my dog and my cat40 ,yet a widow has a great drawback4 ,there are some men at whom she can never get a chance4 ,a man who does not wish to marry avoids a widow4 ,he will pay attention to a young girl perfectly sure he can withstand her charms2 but the young widow is a different person4 ,he knows that if he allows himself to begin there1 he cannot break off4 ,dickens gave the key-note to the whole situation when he said1 8,samivel1 beware of the widders40 ,for ages ,samivels who do not wish to marry have obeyed that injunction4 ,,chapter ,,viii4 8,,lady ,,beauty40 ,the following is quoted1 verbatim1 from an ,english novel entitled1 8,lady ,beauty2 or1 ,charming to ,her ,latest ,day40 ,as it bears upon this subject1 and many may not have read the book1 ,i copy some parts4 8,you will find that your own enjoyment is heightened by the consciousness of power to please others4444 ,let this ever be in your mind3 #8,i am a creature formed to give pleasure4' ,be courteous1 be gentle1 be refined1 be sweet in all your dealings4 ,never lose your temper3 it ruins the face2 and it always leaves a disagreeable impression which nothing rubs out4 ,depend upon it1 men may respect those creatures who are called women of character1 which generally means women who perform awkwardly duties which with a little thought they might perform in a charming way3 men may respect them1 but when they want enjoyment they turn to women who study the art of pleasing4 ,now1 what ,i want to teach you is1 to be solid and pleasing too4 ,believe me a woman is seldom called upon to do anything which she may not do in an agreeable style if she will only take pains4444 ,never disarrange for an instant the drapery of pleasantness which a woman ought always to wear3 keep it on you even for your husbands4444 ,be agreeable even when you are alone with your looking-glass4 ,please everybody as far as you can4 ,study morning1 noon1 and night to be agreeable4 8,don't expect too much of men and women1 and you will learn to be good-humored over their selfishness and hypocrisy4 8,learned talk is very affected4 ,be as well-educated as you please1 but don't seem so4 8,she had a frank1 spontaneous sympathy with life all around and in every part1 such as ,i never met in any one beside herself4 ,by reason of this virtue she was always interested in what was going on1 and the very quality which subdued her individuality in one way made her character fresh and delightful in another4 ,she resolved to charm others with happiness and goodness in view1 not mere society conquests4444 ,she used worldly methods for most unworldly means4 ,the polish1 the graces1 the social attractions1 the accomplishments1 literature1 and wit1 which some despise1 she used as the very material out of which her noble purpose must be woven4444 ,in the secret interior of her intentions she was truly devoted1 trying by the spell of a beautiful womanhood to make those with whom she lived better and happier4 8#8,tell me about it1' she whispers1 oh so low1 so deliciously4 ,she meant1 #8,anything you say will be sweet to hear4' 8,too womanly for coquetry or coyness1 she gave her answer at once4 8,warmth1 purity1 tenderness1 principle1 all the finer parts of character were hers4444 ,her face was beautiful because it was the image of the soul4 8,it is a good maxim3 #8,never really be angry4' 8,to the opposite1 her sister relied on her beauty for a place among her sex1 and was at no pains to cultivate conversation1 letters1 or any branch of the art of pleasing except the setting forth of her personal charms4 ,had her manner and her talk been what she might easily have made them1 she would have shone out as a beauty in the prime of her womanhood4 ,she had no lack of sense nor of education1 either2 but proudly reposing on her incontestable loveliness1 she rather withdrew than put forward her attractions4 8,i wish to convince women that it is a great mistake on their part to suppose that their power to please departs with youth4 ,at all times ,i have noticed that men of sense seldom admire--or grow enamored of--women for beauty alone1 but for character1 manner1 taste1 and conversation4 ,now1 while beauty1 we must admit1 lessens with time1 character1 manner1 taste1 and conversation may each be refined and enriched4444 ,mere beauty is but one bright unchanging beam3 it will even grow wearisome2 but wit1 sense1 courtesy1 and humanity are forever casting forth new and unexpected rays and enlivening intercourse with agreeable surprises4 8,she was the best dresser ,i ever knew4 ,her appearance pleased numbers of people before they saw her face4444 ,she managed through all the changes of fashion to respect herself and her own figure and face3 in the fashion she would always be2 but still she would modulate it so as to be the queen and not the slave4 8,her manners in society were captivating4 ,with what graceful attention she heard what you had to say4 ,how modestly she gave her own opinion4444 ,she tried to please4 ,she knew that a woman ought to be an object of admiration and affection1 and she ruled her whole life with a view to this fact4 ,her religion gave a richness1 a sweetness1 a seriousness to all her charms4 8,you will laugh when ,i tell you that ,lady ,beauty at the age of fifty-three had a new lover40 8,,beauty ,,rules40 8,rule ,one4--,a woman's power in the world is measured by her power to please4 ,whatever she will wish to accomplish1 she will manage it best by pleasing4 ,a woman's grand social aim should be to please4 8,rule ,two4--,modesty is the ground on which all a woman's charms appear to the best advantage4 ,in manner1 dress1 conversation1 remember always that modesty must not be forgotten4444 ,not prudery4 ,modesty is of the soul4 ,prudery is on the surface4 8,rule ,three4--,so the woman's aim is to please1 and modesty is the first principle4 8,rule ,four4--,always dress up to your age or a little beyond it4 ,let your face be the youngest thing about you1 not the oldest4 8,rule ,five4--,remember that what women admire in themselves is seldom what men admire in them4 8,rule ,six4--,women's beauties are seldom men's beauties4 8,rule ,seven4--,gayety tempered by seriousness is the happiest manner in society4 8,rule ,eight4--,always speak low4 8,rule ,nine4--,a plain woman can never be pretty4 ,she can always be fascinating if she takes pains4 ,i remember well a man who was a great admirer of our sex telling me that one of the most fascinating women he ever knew was not only not pretty1 but as to her face decidedly plain4 #8,her figure1' he said1 #8was neat1 her dressing faultless1 her every movement graceful2 her conversation was clever and animated1 and she always tried to please4 ,she was one of the most acceptable women in society ,i ever knew4 ,she married brilliantly4 8,rule ,ten4--,every year a woman lives1 the more pains she must take with her dress4 8,rule ,eleven4--,in all things1 let a woman ask what will please a man of sense before she asks what will please the men of fashion4 ,you see1 if a woman lives for the commendation of men of fashion1 she will1 if pretty1 piquant1 or what not1 have a reign of ten years4 ,but if she remembers that she has charms of mind and character and taste1 as well as charms of figure and complexion1 the men of sense will follow her for a half century2 and in the long run the men of fashion will be led by the men of sense4 8,i have often asked myself1 #8,what is the secret of her character8' and ,i have always come to the same conclusion3 that if her religious faith were deducted from her1 she would not be what she is1 but must become a less agreeable and not so good a woman40 ,,chapter ,,ix4 ,,the ,,loved ,,wife4 ,our life-story does not end1 as it does in the novel1 when the wedding-bells ring4 ,after that comes the real life4 ,the wedding-bells are but the call to more faithful duties1 more earnest1 unselfish love1 greater effort to be attractive1 more pains to make the husband happy than were taken to win his love4 ,they ring out the birth of a love that is until death4 ,they ring out the knell of all coyness and romance4 ,the hero becomes the very human man3 the shy girl is a woman who is to be his helpmeet4 ,they ring out the beginning of a battle where man and woman must stand shoulder to shoulder if they would win4 ,they tell of a conflict where there will be strength in union1 but in division weakness1 destruction of happiness1 complete failure1 disgrace1 and sometimes even death4 ,a girl rarely considers the deep responsibilities she takes upon herself when she marries4 ,she is more often thinking of the happiness it will give her than of what she is to be to the man4 ,she does not stop to think whether or not she is going to make her husband happy4 ,she forgets that from that time his whole happiness1 his success in life1 almost his soul1 are in her keeping4 8,a man must ask his wife's leave to thrive0 is altogether true4 ,a wife may be a dead weight or an inspiration4 ,the dead weight drags even the strongest down1 and an inspiration helps him to conquer every time4 ,i have heard a man with a bad wife say3 8,oh1 ,i have no heart in me to do anything4 ,she takes it all out of me40 ,i have known a man with less ability1 but with a true wife to inspire him1 to conquer where the other failed4 ,marriage itself is not happiness unalloyed4 ,life never is in any state4 ,you are happier married than single1 but marriage has its hard places4 ,the romance soon dies out4 ,real life comes4 ,the every day living together brings friction4 ,it is for better and for worse4 ,it seems a light thing to say at the time when you are sure it will all be for the better4 ,you fancy you have only half learned his goodness4 ,in many cases that is so4 ,in many more it is not3 it is for the worse4 ,then the break comes4 ,gradually his weaknesses will be revealed to you4 ,the golden idol shows clay feet4 ,slowly the gilding is all rubbed off1 and the idol is seen to be clay all through4 ,many a woman meets with this disappointment4 ,it is the great disappointment of her life4 ,god help the woman who finds that her husband is unworthy of her love6 ,a weak woman sinks under the blow1 and drags him even farther down4 ,a strong woman will stand up bravely and in the end draw him up to her heights4 ,she must gather together all her love for him4 ,she must allow religion to take the helm with this love or all is lost4 ,sometimes love reels3 sometimes the senses do4 ,then1 of all times1 a woman must watch herself well4 ,she is fighting a terrible battle with her disappointment as well as with his faults4 ,they must be silent battles3 the more silent the stronger they will be1 and the more sure she will be of victory4 ,she must never by hint or word let any one outside know of his failings4 ,if they are of the kind which go before or which are well known by the community1 she must show the world that she is blind to them4 ,she must never speak against her husband even to her own mother4 ,she must never admit that he has a fault4 ,she has entered into a partnership where one partner cannot be untrue to the other4 ,she has promised before ,god to honor him4 ,her loyalty may save him4 ,it is certain that if she does talk about him1 and it comes to his ears1 it will drive him away from her4 ,when a breach is made between husband and wife1 it widens continually4 ,what in the beginning is a tiny thread soon becomes a broad gulf4 ,it is really wonderful what a little while it takes for this breach to widen1 and how disastrous are the effects4 ,our daily papers are a continual illustration of that fact4 ,a perfect wife will never allow her opinion of her unworthy husband to be known4 ,if he is unkind to her1 she hides it as she hides her own misdeeds4 ,indeed1 she would rather take upon herself the blame for any trouble others may have seen4 ,she is pleased always with any kind attention he receives4 ,a lady wrote her sister1 with whom her husband was stopping for a few days3 8,he writes me you are doing every thing to make his visit pleasant4 ,thank you4 ,whatever kindness you bestow upon him you bestow upon me40 ,you will find plenty of listeners when you tell of your husband's faults and your own wrongs4 ,they will be your apparent sympathizers4 ,not one1 however1 will respect you for doing so4 ,no one will care about you4 ,almost all will repeat it to some one else4 ,it will be generally said that you live unhappily with your husband4 ,you will have as much blame as he has4 ,it is the way of the world4 ,it knows pretty well that the wife who so far forgets herself as to talk against her husband is as much to blame for the trouble as he is4 ,she cannot be a good1 loving1 ,christian wife1 who is trying to lead him to better things4 ,such a woman would hold her tongue4 ,in telling1 you have simply opened all the doors and windows of your house and invited the community to look their fill at your most private affairs4 ,the rest of the doors and windows of the community are closed4 ,you have noticed--have you not8--that your confidence has not been returned4 ,no1 indeed4 ,it is well known that the woman who cannot guard her husband's honor cannot respect another's confidence4 ,if only in the sight of men then1 the untrue wife is the loser4 ,she sends him into greater wrong4 ,she undoes herself as she undoes him4 ,together they must rise or fall4 ,many a woman in her blind anger at her husband has tried to crush him4 ,like ,samson1 when he would crush the ,philistines1 she has succeeded1 but only to bury herself in the ruins with him4 ,that her husband is not what she thought him1 is no excuse3 she took him for worse as well as better4 ,she is simply showing that she is not one whit above him1 and that he has been decidedly deceived in her4 ,he has gotten the worse too4 ,unfortunately true1 good men have bad wives1 too--they are not confined to bad husbands only4 ,there are wives of good men who forget that the husband's whole happiness depends upon them4 ,many a wife forgets this great responsibility4 ,his business may be successful and everything outside going along satisfactorily1 but if he has no peace at home he has no happiness4 ,a woman who does not make her husband happy fails in her great life-work4 ,she is unworthy to be the mother of his children4 ,god gave woman to man to be his helpmeet2 she is no helpmeet if she makes his life wretched4 ,it is her highest pleasure1 her great 8rights10 to smooth his path4 ,if she fail there1 she far better never have married4 ,what a man wants in his wife is companionship1 sympathy1 and love4 ,he wants to feel that she is his best friend4 ,he never wants to look anywhere else for sympathy and help3 he never will if he can get all he needs from her4 ,his life has many hard places3 he needs a companion to go over them with him4 ,he is often overtaken by misfortunes3 he needs some one to stand by him and sympathize as she helps him to bear them4 ,he has to fight with poverty often1 and he needs a woman whom he feels1 when he puts his arms about her1 is worth fighting for4 ,he has many enemies3 he needs a wife whose loving words will make up for the bitter ones he hears from them4 ,he needs a wife who will make him forget1 when he is in her presence1 that there is an unkind world outside4 ,he meets sin everywhere3 he wants a wife who will give him words of counsel1 and who will take his hands and lead him to greater faith in1 and love for1 the ,father4 ,storms will come all through life1 he must encounter them4 ,he needs a woman who will cling to him through the hardest4 ,he needs her love through sunshine and victory as well4 ,he wants to feel through all that his refuge is in her arms as hers is in his4 ,he wants a wife upon whose breast he can lay his head1 when sorrows come1 and weep4 ,he wants one who will make him feel that no matter where else death strikes1 as long as he has her he can endure life4 ,i remember a man who1 when his dearly-beloved sister died1 laid his head on his wife's shoulder1 weeping1 and said1 8,if it were you ,i should die40 ,there are in history women upon whose strong hearts strong men have leaned and have become more strengthened in that leaning4 ,weak men have become manly through a womanly wife4 ,strong men have been weakened by a weak1 wicked wife4 ,truly a man is made or marred when he marries4 ,he must indeed ask his wife leave to thrive4 ,it is in every woman's power to be a well-loved wife4 ,she cannot exact it3 she must win it4 ,she has his affection to start upon4 ,she must increase it1 instead of allowing it to decrease4 ,she must not go upon the principle that because she is his wife it is his duty to worship her4 ,if she does1 she will be bankrupt as far as his affection is concerned4 ,men are not made in that way1 as ,i have said before1 and you must take them as you find them if you take one at all4 ,many a wife has allowed her husband's affection to die4 ,she has fancied1 maybe1 that she was lowering her dignity to try to keep what she considered was her due4 ,nothing is our due of which we are not worthy4 ,we are not worthy of a love we do not try to keep4 ,women who are exacting after marriage are generally the ones who tried the hardest to attract the man at first4 ,it is generally the girl who runs after a man till she gets him who makes no effort after marriage to retain his love1 and who talks the loudest about her 8rights1 and not grovelling at his feet10 if it is suggested that she do better4 ,before she married she dressed for him4 ,nothing she owned was too pretty to put on when she knew he would see her4 ,she was careful to be tidy in her person4 ,she would never let him see a room in her home which was in disorder4 ,she was courteous always4 ,she never said an impatient word to him or before him4 ,if he was cross1 she bore it like an angel4 ,she greeted him always when he came with a sweet smile and caress4 ,she had loving words for him as she told him how she wanted to see him every minute since they had parted4 ,she desired in every way to appear at her best before him4 ,she hid every defect of temper or disposition4 ,after marriage she does not care how untidy she is when he comes home4 ,she never thinks of dressing for him4 ,she is not courteous to him4 ,she has no loving word1 and she never hesitates to speak a cross one to him4 ,she has smiles yet for the outside world1 but none for the man whom she has promised to love and honor4 ,she talks to him as she would be ashamed to have any one hear her speak4 ,she never bears with him4 ,if he is cross1 she is crosser4 ,is it any wonder she loses his love8 ,she is not what he thought she was1 or what he thought he was marrying4 ,if he had seen her in her true colors before the fatal words were spoken1 he never would have bound himself to her4 ,the beautiful soul1 the sweet smile that won him1 are gone4 ,the gentle spirit he fancied he detected1 was a delusion4 ,what he loved1 he does not possess4 ,he possesses an unwomanly wife1 and that he did not woo4 ,with a weak man there comes a break4 ,he often seeks his happiness with another woman4 ,a strong man endures in silence1 growing old and sad1 broken in his youth4 ,ought this to be8 ,there is no reason1 because you have grown familiar to each other1 you should not try to hide your temper as you did before4 ,there is no reason1 because he is 8caught0 and cannot get away from you1 that you should cease to be attractive to him4 ,you spread your net well4 ,now make the nest so attractive that he will be glad that he was 8caught40 ,be all that you led him to fancy you were4 ,why should not a woman dress for her husband8 ,why should she not cultivate a sweet disposition for him and endeavor to make his home the happiest spot on earth8 ,why not try to banish from it every cloud1 everything that will annoy or irritate8 ,is it of no use8 ,it is of the greatest earthly use4 ,it is a means of helping you both on to ,heaven4 ,if you must be selfish1 remember it is making yourself happier to have your husband love you as he loves no other earthly being4 ,men1 after all1 are easily pleased--you found that out in your courtship days4 ,they are easily managed too4 ,a man will do almost everything for the wife that makes him happy4 ,he is almost too much of a slave to her4 ,she can do what she will to him4 ,with him1 getting her own way is only a matter of tact and sweetness4 ,husbands are almost all like the man in the fable of the wind and sun4 ,the sun beat in the end4 ,warmth of love and sweetness of manner will gain a victory1 where an ill-tempered insisting upon 8rights0 fails completely4 ,ward ,mc,allister says in his 8,society as ,i ,have ,found ,it10 8,my advice to all married women is to keep up flirting with their husbands as much after marriage as before2 to make themselves as attractive after their marriage as they were when they captivated them2 not to neglect their toilet1 but rather to improve it3 to be as coquettish and coy after they are bound together as before when no ties held them40 ,choice ,selections in ,poetry and ,prose4 ,compiled by ,,rhodum ,l4 ,,griggs4 ,,introduction4 ,we know that there is an unfortunate tendency in human nature to treat with levity the subject of love1 courtship and marriage4 ,but a moment's consideration should convince you how utterly repugnant it is to all manly feelings to jest in these matters4 ,they are the most serious questions of your life1 as your weal or woe1 and the weal and woe of those who come after you1 depend in great measure1 upon the wisdom and virtue with which you conduct your preparations for marriage4 ,the whole tendency of such lightness is to cause the marriage relation to be lightly esteemed1 and the true aim of courtship to be lost sight of1 for unless you view it in its true light1 with that sober earnestness which the subject demands1 your courtship will be nothing more than a grand game of hypocrisy1 resulting in misery the most deplorable4 ,,love4 ,love is an actual need1 an urgent requirement of the heart4 ,every properly constituted human being who entertains an appreciation of loneliness and looks forward to a home of happiness and content1 feels the necessity of loving4 ,without love1 life is unfinished2 hope1 without aim2 nature defective1 and man miserable4 ,love is the ruling element of life2 the great instrument of nature2 that soft1 subduing sun against whose melting beams there is not one human soul in a million1 not a thousand men in all earth's domain1 whose hearts are hardened4 ,love1 if pure1 unselfish and discreet1 constitutes the chief happiness of human life4 ,no man or woman is complete in their experience of life until they have been subdued into union with the world through their affections4 ,the bosom which does not feel love is cold2 the mind which does not conceive it is dull2 the philosophy which does not accept it is false2 the only true religion in the world has pure1 undying love for its basis4 ,look back over your life2 if there is a bright spot to be seen1 it is where the star of love shed its light2 if there is a plant1 flower or any beautiful thing visible it is where the smiles and tears of your affections were spent2 where some fond eye met your own2 where some endearing heart was clasped to yours4 ,love1 to make your life and home beautiful1 must shine on through years1 and its radiance linger till the shadows of death darken altogether4 ,,courtship ,is the first turning point in your life1 crowded with perils and temptations4 ,the rose tints of affection dazzle and bewilder your imagination4 ,you should not trust too much to the impulse of the heart1 or be too easily captivated by a winning exterior4 ,not once in a hundred times do two natures1 brought side by side1 harmonize in every part4 ,while always bearing in mind that life without love is a wilderness1 it should not be overlooked that true affection requires solid support4 ,your object in courtship should not be to charm1 gratify1 nor please simply for the present pleasure1 but for the selection of a companion who must bear1 suffer and enjoy life with you in all its forms2 one who will walk pleasantly1 willingly and confidingly by your side through all the intricate and changing vicissitudes incident to mortal life2 one possessed of a constitution of soul similar to your own2 of similar age1 opinions1 tastes1 habits1 modes of thought and feeling2 one who under any given combination of circumstances would be affected as you would2 one who would approve what you approve and condemn what you condemn2 not for the purpose of agreeing with you but of her own free will2 one who is already united to you by the ties of spiritual harmony4 ,in the selection of a wife1 a pure1 loving heart and good common sense are many times more valuable than personal beauty or wealth1 for once installed in the affections of such a woman1 you have a life claim on her good offices1 and no sacrifice that she can make is too great1 no adversity so strong that it can shake her firmness4 ,true courtship is withal a beautiful sight4 ,only the coarse and illiterate can see there aught for ridicule or jest4 ,it is the flowing together of two separate lives that have heretofore been divided1 now mysteriously brought together1 to flow on through all time1 and only ,god in ,his infinite wisdom knows how far in the shadowy hereafter4 ,,marriage4 ,for all professions1 trades and callings in life1 men and women prepare themselves by previous attention to their principles and duties4 ,they study them1 devote time and money to them4 ,every imaginable case1 difficulty or trial is considered and duly disposed of according to the general principles of the trade or profession4 ,but marriage1 the most important and holy relation of life1 involving the most sacred responsibilities and influences1 social1 civil and religious1 that bear upon men and women1 is entered upon in hot haste or blind stupidity by a great majority of the men and women of to-day4 ,no man has a right to ask a woman to enter matrimonial bonds with him unless he is thoroughly acquainted with the female constitution and character1 for he who knows not her nature knows not how to gratify or satisfy that nature4 ,it is ignorance in these matters that causes a great amount of matrimonial infelicity4 ,marriage1 to be a blessing1 must be properly entered4 ,it has its fundamental laws1 which must be obeyed4 ,the conditions upon which its joys and advantages are realized may be learned beforehand1 and should not be entered in blindness1 but in the light of a perfect knowledge of its rules and regulations1 its promises1 conditions1 laws and privileges1 so that no uncertainty shall follow a knowledge of its reality4 ,some are disappointed in marriage because they expect too much from it4 ,their imagination has pictured a condition of things never experienced on this side of heaven4 ,with the marriage ceremony you enter a new world1 if you enter understandingly1 and live as becomes thoughtful1 considerate human beings1 each trying to bear with the other's infirmities1 and to consider the other's happiness as paramount to their own4 ,marriage then becomes a delightful scene of domestic happiness1 to which all true men and women look forward as the condition of life most consonant to their true happiness4 ,,selection ,,of ,a ,,husband4 ,to the young woman who is just about to determine her start in life1 we would say3 ,give up your whole mind to this problem of finding a husband whom you can love1 and who can love you4 ,it is worthy of your utmost effort4 ,remember that in selecting the father of your child the qualities which will show in the little one have no relation to his accomplishments1 and that even the homeliest features may become beautiful1 shining with the light of his noble qualities4 ,the profession of motherhood stands ready to give you every repayment if you will but devote to fitting yourself for its duties the same patient effort you would give to the study of any science1 or the same energy you would throw into social duties4 ,unlike social distinction1 it will not be disappointing2 but as the years go by1 loving children will stand ready to enthrone you in their hearts and gratefully recognize your every effort in their behalf4 ,first--,give perfect truth and exact it4 ,second--,use every endeavor to eradicate your own faults1 and gently1 patiently and lovingly help your companion to do the same4 ,third--,do not expect too much from either yourself or your mate4 ,be humble1 with a clear understanding of your own limitations2 but be firm in the determination that with each day you will climb together to a higher level4 ,fourth--,do not be discouraged at slow progress4 ,do not doubt that in the end you will be repaid for all effort4 ,so also do not doubt that if you are careless1 selfish or deceitful you will be planting seeds for eventual catastrophe4 ,,what ,,pleases ,,men ,,and ,,women4 ,,the ,,woman4 ,it pleases her to be told that she is fascinating2 to be called well dressed2 to be called sensible2 to depend on some man and pretend that she is ruling him2 to be told that she improves man by her companionship2 to be treated courteously and with respect1 and to be talked to reasonably4 ,it pleases her to be treated sensibly and honestly2 to be considered and questioned1 and not treated as a butterfly with no head or heart4 ,it pleases her to be loved and admired by a man who is strong enough to subdue her and make his way her way2 to lead her and take care of her2 and it pleases her to find happiness in being ruled by an intellect that she can look up to admiringly1 and one to whom her mind bows in reverence4 ,,the ,,man4 ,it pleases the man to have a woman love him2 to have her lead him in the way he wants to go2 to have her sometimes treat him as a great big baby1 to be cared for1 petted and caressed2 also to have her think him great1 and good1 and true1 and favor him with her attentions accordingly4 ,it pleases him to have a woman's bright eyes expressing the approbation1 approval and admiration the lips do not speak4 ,it pleases him to have her hand smooth away the careworn expression and wrinkles from his brow1 and to have her strength to help him over the weak places in life4 ,it pleases a worthy man who tries to be good to have a sweet woman lead him in the way called beautiful4 ,a woman can sink a man to the depths of misery or help him to the zenith of happiness2 her smile inspires him4 ,,moody',s ,,eulogy ,,on ,,women4 8,i think that the ,almighty intended the work of woman in this world should be1 above all1 the rearing of a family4 ,he gave into her keeping the souls and characters of the young1 to make or mar4 ,and surely there is no nobler or more responsible work than this4 ,from the home--the domain of woman--spring most of the highest impulses of humanity4 ,and to fit woman for her great work the ,creator made her of a finer cast than man2 there is nothing on earth so noble1 so pure1 so exalted1 so near the ideal of character1 as a woman4 ,woman can rise higher than man1 but she can likewise sink lower4 ,the very height which she can attain seems to make her fall the greater when she does fall4 ,there is great strength and great weakness in woman's character2 and it is a vital duty of men1 whose greater evenness of temperament gives them greater self-control1 and consequently a commanding position1 to do everything in their power to enable the woman to be true to her higher nature4 8,i believe that1 other things being equal1 the happiest woman is the woman who is a mother and the maker of a home2 but if she cannot fulfil her true destiny1 if she must enter the business world1 she should be given the greatest consideration1 simply because she is a woman4 ,i have heard women say that they ask for nothing on the ground of sex4 ,perhaps they don't1 but personally ,i cannot forget their sex4 ,even in a purely business matter1 my attitude and manner toward them are not just what they would be toward men40--,dwight ,l4 ,moody4 99 99 99 99 99 8,god has made the mind of woman the complement to the mind of man4 8,when properly coupled they are a source of strength to each other4 ,as steel and flint strike fire1 so the brightest wit and best thought spring from the intellectual union of man and wife4 ,beginning as a stimulus to research and higher endeavor1 each learns to know the mind of the other4 ,a glance often reads thought without the spoken word40 ,a ,,mother',s ,,smile4 ,though a mother may seem void of beauty1 ,her tongue have no art to beguile1 ,to her children there's nothing so lovely ,as her face when bright with a smile4 ,when they wake from the slumbers of childhood1 ,and gaze on the world1 half afraid1 ,if they see mother's face bending o'er them1 ,their swift-starting fears are allayed4 ,to their fingers her cheek is the softest1 ,though care may have hardened its lines1 ,and their bruises are healed by her kisses1 ,from lips on which age has its signs4 ,she's a comrade to share in their pastimes1 ,a refuge if dangers betide1 ,there is always a comfort in troubles1 ,a haven of peace at her side4 ,oh1 ye mothers1 smile oft on your children1 ,for blest is the woman whose face1 ,once impressed on these hearts in their childhood1 ,nor distance nor time can efface4 ,and more happy the man or the woman1 ,immersed in the world's snare and wile1 ,who bears upon memory's tablets ,the thought of a mother's fond smile4 ,a ,,low ,,voice ,,in ,,woman4 ,yes1 we agree with that old poet1 who said that a low1 soft voice was an excellent thing in woman4 ,indeed1 we feel inclined to go much farther than he has on the subject1 and call it one of her crowning charms4 ,how often the spell of beauty is rudely broken by coarse1 loud talking6 ,how often you are irresistibly drawn to a plain1 unassuming woman1 whose soft1 silvery tones render her positively attractive4 ,in the social circle1 how pleasant it is to hear a woman talk in that low key which always characterizes the true lady4 ,in the sanctuary of home how such a voice soothes the fretful child and cheers the weary husband4 ,,connubialities4 ,it is the hardest thing in love to feign it where it is not1 or hide it where it is2 but it is easier counterfeited than concealed4 ,the face of her we love is the fairest of sights1 and her voice the sweetest harmony in the world4 ,a man is more reserved in his friend's concerns than in his own2 a woman1 on the contrary1 keeps her own concerns better than another's4 ,a woman will think herself slighted if she is not courted1 yet pretends to know herself too well to believe your flattery4 ,absence is to love what fasting is to the body2 a little stimulates it1 but a long abstinence is fatal4 ,the greatest pleasure of life is love2 the greatest treasure1 contentment2 the greatest possession1 health2 the greatest ease is sleep2 and the greatest medicine1 a true friend4 ,,love4 8,it helps us to bear with the trouble1 ,it helps us to stand in the strife1 ,it brightens the skies for the sorrowing eyes1 ,and lightens the burdens of life4 8,it makes the rose bloom in the desert1 ,and brings down the dew on the sod2 ,the tempest may beat1 but the pathway is sweet ,with the roses and lilies of ,god40 ,,you ,,kissed ,,me4 8,my forehead drooped low on your breast1 ,with a feeling of shelter and infinite rest1 ,while the holy emotion my tongue dared not speak ,flashed up like a flame from my heart to my cheek4 8,your arms held me fast--,oh6 your arms were so bold-- ,heart beat against heart in that passionate fold4 ,your glances seemed drawing my soul through my eyes1 ,as the sun draws the mist from the sea to the skies4 8,you kissed me6 ,my heart and my breath and my will1 ,in delicious joy1 for the moment1 stood still4 ,life had for me then no temptations1 no charms1 ,no vision of pleasure outside of your arms40 ,,the ,,marriage ,,question4 8,thousands marry and the majority of them live together all their lives4 ,but ,i think that not more than one couple in ten love each other1 continuously1 during that time4 8,as soon as they have taken the marriage vows they feel an ownership of each other1 feel that they are bound so that they cannot get away1 and so grow careless about each other's comforts and pleasures1 until1 before they realize it1 love has flown1 and then it depends upon the dispositions of the two whether it is a cat-and-dog life or one of friendship and companionship without love4 ,remember this3 ,it is nature to love1 and if you do not retain the love of your husband or wife1 some one else is liable to do so4 8,for a while you may bind a person to you by marriage vows1 but love can only be bound by love1 and it takes the same devotion1 the same love after it is won that it takes to win it in the first place40--,goe ,van ,hise1 ,glendale1 ,cal4 99 99 99 99 99 ,many boys and girls enter matrimony before they are old enough to realize the responsibility they assume1 and they frequently fill their lives with bitterness by acting so rashly4 ,wait till you are old enough to exercise judgment in the choice of your companion2 then choose wisely1 and enthrone the goddess of ,love upon a heart stamped with eternal fidelity1 and be your home a palace or a cottage1 it will indeed be a 8sweet1 sweet home40 ,,the ,,ages ,,of ,,love4 ,the ,outlook1 in the ,thorwaldsen ,gallery1 ,copenhagen4 99 99 99 99 99 ,friend--,it reminds me forcibly of the time when 8they were both naked and were not ashamed40 ,indeed1 it gave me a new comprehension of the meaning of that text4 ,guide--,which of all ,thorwaldsen's works did you like the best8 ,philosopher--,how is it possible to tell8 ,there were at least a dozen best4 ,friend--,the 8,ages of ,love10 because it suggested a sermon to me which ,i am going to preach some time4 99 99 99 99 99 ,the 8,ages of ,love0 is a bas-relief consisting essentially of six figures1 though so combined as to make1 as it were1 one tableau4 ,in the first1 a covered basket contains a number of imprisoned ,cupids1 and a child is curiously lifting a corner of the cover to look in and learn what love is like4 ,in the second an attendant female figure--,venus8--has taken a ,cupid out of the basket1 and a maiden is eagerly and imploringly reaching out both hands to receive it4 ,in the third her prayer has been granted1 and the woman clasps the ,cupid to her breast4 ,in the fourth the woman is still holding ,cupid1 but carelessly by the wings1 her mind evidently on other things intent4 ,in the fifth a man sits looking upon the ground1 while ,cupid sits perched upon his back1 and he knows not why he is there4 ,in the sixth ,cupid has taken his flight and is just beyond the reach of an old man1 who stretches out his hands in vain to recover the fugitive4 99 99 99 99 99 ,guide--,and pray1 parson1 what would your sermon be8 ,friend--,just ,thorwaldsen's sermon2 nothing more4 ,it would be in five subdivisions4 ,first3 ,childhood inquiring into love4 ,it is right to inquire4 ,the father and mother should answer the inquiry and not leave the child to learn of this most sacred mystery of life from profane lips4 ,second3 ,maidenhood seeking love4 ,she is right to seek it4 ,it is idle to sing1 8,love not1 love not6 the thing you love will die40 ,love is 8the greatest thing in the world10 above all others best worth seeking4 ,third3 ,motherhood possessing4 ,love is wealth indeed1 and the only wealth worth having4 ,the poorest is rich if he have love1 and the richest is poor if he have it not4 ,fourth3 ,manhood forgetting love4 ,alas1 that so many of us no sooner possess love than we forget it1 and are indifferent to it1 and put it aside4 ,love1 the most valuable of all knowledge1 has been bestowed on us1 and we forget it2 the most sacred of all possessions has been given us1 and we turn our backs upon it4 ,ambition usurps love's crown1 and the true king is forgotten4 ,and thus1 fifth1 and last of all3 ,love1 forgotten1 flies away1 and the unloved old man looks longingly about for some one to love him1 and there is none1 and he drops into his grave unloved and not missed4 ,it is the tragedy of life3 youth inquiring2 maidenhood seeking2 motherhood possessing2 manhood forgetting2 old age losing4 ,guide--,when you preach that sermon1 give us notice and we will come to hear it4 ,friend--,better1 instead1 buy a photograph of ,thorwaldsen's bas-relief and study that4 ,the sermon is all there--and more is there besides4 ,,which ,,one8 ,one of us1 dear1 with grief untold1 ,must the other's death with pain behold1 ,must stand with hand in living hold ,of stiffened fingers growing cold4 ,dearest1 which one8 ,one of us1 dear1 bereft of cheer1 ,must pause beside a flower-strewn bier1 ,must kneel alone and drop a tear ,upon a form to heart so dear4 ,dearest1 which one8 ,one of us1 dear1 with heart like lead1 ,must stand beside a narrow bed1 ,must hear the sod fall on the dead ,with anguished breath and nameless dread4 ,dearest1 which one8 ,one of us1 dear1 with stifled moan1 ,must henceforth walk the world alone2 ,must ever yearn for a tender tone1 ,heard only around the ,great ,white ,throne4 ,dearest1 which one8 ,,kind ,,words4 ,kind words may prove pearls of the highest price2 soften and turn away wrath2 make friendship out of enmity1 and build a monument of good that the storms of time cannot destroy4 ,cherish them1 dear boys and girls4 ,a kind heart full of love and sympathy and loving words1 will spring to your lips to bless1 to help and to comfort all around you4 8,that which the fountain sends forth returns again to the fountain40 ,better to hope1 though the clouds hang low1 ,and to keep the eyes still lifted1 ,for the still blue sky will still peep through ,when the ominous clouds are rifted4 ,there was never a night without a day1 ,or an evening without a morning2 ,and the darkest hour1 as the proverb goes1 8,is the hour before the dawning40 ,a life of real virtue1 of nobleness1 of true greatness1 is not an accident4 ,it comes1 if it comes at all1 from lofty aspirations1 from incorruptible motives1 long cherished1 and held sacred as life4 ,,sin4 8,sin is the most expensive thing possible4 ,it wastes money4 ,it wears the body into decay4 ,but1 bad as these things are1 there are even worse behind1 for it blights the intellect and withers the moral nature of man4 ,it weakens the will2 it blunts the conscience2 it hardens the heart4 ,it dries up all the finer feelings of the soul1 so that ultimately all regard for truth and holiness and purity is gone4 ,but worse yet1 sin is an enslaving thing4 ,it becomes the master of the man who indulges in it and sets him to do the hardest drudgery4 ,it hires him out1 as it were1 to feed swine1 leaving him to feed along with them4 ,that which was at first a joy becomes in the end a bondage4 ,that which was first a pleasant companion becomes at length a cruel task-master1 which compels him to make bricks without straw1 and sometimes even without clay40--,dr4 ,w4 ,m4 ,taylor4 ,let not sin1 therefore1 reign in your ,m-,o-,r-,t-,a-,l body4--,rom4 vi4 #ab4 ,a ,,hymn4 8,o1 help me1 ,lord1 by grace to win ,the victory o'er this world of sin1 ,for ,i am weak when left alone1 ,i have no strength to call my own4 8,o6 lead me by ,thy gentle hand1 ,across this desert's burning sand1 ,and when ,i'm weary let me rest ,my aching head upon ,thy breast4 8,direct my mind to things divine1 ,and keep my thoughts as pure as ,thine2 ,oh1 let no wicked thoughts come in4 ,let nothing cause my soul to sin4 8,upon ,thy bosom let me lean ,and keep my words so pure and clean ,that angels hearing would not blush1 ,nor heaven's cry my voice to hush4 8,,refrain4 8,o1 help me1 ,lord1 by grace to win ,the victory o'er this world of sin1 ,and o'er the billows safely guide ,me to life's port on the other side40 ,,john ,w4 ,,griggs1 ,upshaw1 ,ala4 ,jan4 #bf1 #aijc4 ,,the ,,sculptor',s ,,dream4 8,chisel in hand stood a sculptor boy1 ,with his marble block before him1 ,and his face lit up with a smile of joy1 ,as an angel dream passed o'er him4 ,he carved the dream on that shapeless stone1 ,with many a sharp incision2 ,with heaven's own light the sculptor shone-- ,he had caught the angel-vision4 8,sculptors of life are we1 as we stand1 ,with our soul uncarved before us1 ,waiting the hour1 when at ,god's command1 ,our life-dream passes o'er us4 ,if we carve it then on the yielding stone1 ,with many a sharp incision1 ,its heavenly beauty shall be our own-- ,our lives that angel-vision40 ,,bishop ,g4 ,w4 ,,doane4 ,,before ,,it ,,is ,,too ,,late4 8,if you have a gray-haired mother ,in the old home far away1 ,sit down and write the letter ,you put off day by day4 ,don't wait until her tired steps ,reach heaven's pearly gate-- ,but show her that you think of her ,before it is too late4 8,if you've a tender message ,or a loving word to say1 ,don't wait till you forget it1 ,but whisper it to-day4 ,who knows what bitter memories ,may haunt you if you wait8-- ,so make your loved ones happy ,before it is too late4 8,we live but in the present1 ,the future is unknown-- ,to-morrow is a mystery1 ,to-day is all our own4 ,the chance that fortune lends to us ,may vanish while we wait1 ,so spend your life's rich treasure ,before it is too late4 8,the tender words unspoken1 ,the letter never sent1 ,the long-forgotten messages1 ,the wealth of love unspent4 ,for these some hearts are breaking1 ,for these some loved ones wait-- ,so show them that you care for them ,before it is too late40 ,,how ,,to ,,talk ,,to ,,men4 ,there are many young girls who complain that they do not know how to talk to men4 ,they have probably been brought up almost exclusively among their own sex1 and1 therefore1 look upon men very much as upon beings of another world1 and when they find themselves in masculine society they are at a loss to know how to make themselves agreeable1 and what to talk about4 ,their task would be lightened if they realized that men are1 after all1 very nearly akin to themselves1 and that they have very much the same ideas1 feelings and sentiments4 ,the failure to recognize this fact generally earns them the character among their male acquaintances for unamiability or pride2 seldom1 indeed1 are they credited with the timidity of ignorance4 ,the girl who generally is acceptable with men is without self-consciousness1 and talks to a man much in the same style as she would to a girl friend4 ,she is not always thinking of herself and the impression she creates1 but she is kind and sympathetic1 and she interests herself in him and his affairs1 and lets him feel it2 always1 however1 taking care to avoid excess in this respect4 ,when talking with him she shows interest in the matter under discussion1 but1 while holding to her own opinions1 she takes care not to assert them with too great eagerness4 ,no man was ever really influenced by a self-assertive1 dogmatic woman1 and the woman who wishes to have men friends must remember that the secret of both her power and her popularity lies in her gentleness1 sweetness and good temper4 ,she must be cheery1 too1 and ready with her smiles2 but that is quite another thing1 be it remembered1 from the senseless giggling which some girls seem to fancy is particularly charming to the other sex4 ,,about ,,attracting ,,husbands4 ,men have1 since the world began1 been angled for deliberately by girls1 and times out of count have been caught4 ,girls will continue to fish for husbands1 and will continue to catch them as long as marriage is a fashion--a state likely to coincide with the length of time the world lasts4 ,but for all that1 it need not be asserted1 as it so often is1 that all girls angle4 ,why should the word be used1 moreover1 with such bitterness8 ,surely it is not wrong of girls to behave charmingly and make themselves look attractive and pretty1 and especially so in the eyes of those men for whose good opinion they are most anxious8 ,if they were to wear sackcloth and go about veritable kill-joys1 is it likely that they would succeed in winning what they want8 ,it is said that love is never evenly distributed1 and that in every engaged couple there is more love on one side than on the other4 ,women fall in love with the opposite sex just as often as the opposite sex does with them4 ,what is to happen if a girl sees a man she believes she could fondly love1 and whom she is sure would fondly love her1 if she is debarred from angling for him8 ,a girl may not propose to a man4 ,she may not put to him the anxious question1 8,do you love me80 ,from her lips it would be unpardonable were the tender pleading1 8,will you marry me80 to proceed4 ,but she sees one whom she has good reason to think she could wed and be happy with1 and the sole step she can rightly take to bring about a declaration of love from him is just this3 ,she can make herself so pleasant and fascinating that he falls in love with her1 and asks her that sweet question she has so deeply longed to hear from him4 ,the feminine angler should be very cautious4 ,let her declare her purpose--should it be only by a startled word--and a hundred eyes will dart scorn at her1 a hundred tongues condemn her4 ,she who is wise1 however1 is careful--both for the sake of the man she loves and her own reputation--that the little wiles she practices shall appeal only to him1 and shall not be observable by those onlookers who are popularly supposed to see most of the game4 ,women are undoubtedly endowed with a special measure of instinct1 and are therefore able to accomplish wonders1 apparently never planned or premeditated4 ,woe be it to the swain who does not want to fall in love1 should some fair daughter of ,eve will that he shall6 ,there is this to console him1 however3 that the said daughter of ,eve1 should she be discreet and diplomatic1 will so work matters that the happy man will never guess that he has been singled out for preference4 ,he will take the bait and greedily swallow it1 all the time under the impression that he was the angler1 and that it was only after the greatest struggle that he managed to land his prize4 ,he will be as proud of his achievement as he can be--that is to say1 if the girl who has caught him has been very canny during her maneuvers4 ,she need not be deceitful1 nor forward1 nor unwomanly1 nor any of the other plain-spoken and objectionable epithets applied to the feminine angler4 ,as has been pointed out1 she need merely be a tactful1 purposeful1 clever girl1 one who1 knowing her own powers to charm1 exercises them for the most valuable end and aim life offers--that of forming a home in which two persons may be happy1 and from which they may radiate a sufficiency of joy to make the world about it more contented and felicitous than it was before4 ,do marriages arranged as an outcome of the angling principle turn out well8 ,does the fascinating little woman whose bright eyes1 pretty ways and dainty dress won her a husband1 having secured what she desired1 make for the man whose helpmeet she has elected to be a good wife8 ,if she does1 a dozen to one he will never find out that he was caught2 or if she in some sweet moment should divulge to him the secret1 and tell him in whispers and with shy kisses1 how she did her best to draw him to her1 he will1 with further kisses1 solemnly declare unto her his delight and gratitude that she so thoughtfully and cleverly made things easy for a blundering idiot like himself4 ,on the contrary1 should she abandon every effort to please directly or soon after the golden circlet is firmly on her finger1 how rapidly will his eyes be opened to all the crude and ugly scheming she employed to secure him6 ,how bitterly will he rue the weak moment in which he succumbed to her blandishments4 ,then will the memory of her charming little speeches and sweet little ways be dust and ashes to him4 ,he will cease to believe in women1 taught by his captor to distrust the sex for her sake4 ,there is all the difference in the world between the girl who angles honestly1 so that a happy union may be had with the man she loves1 and the girl who angles simply for the achievement of some tribute to her vanity--a wealthy husband1 a husband with more money than her friend's husband possesses1 or a husband who will give her a title and position4 ,there are few women so purely calculating that1 once having achieved their object1 they can deliberately show themselves in their true colors4 ,captious1 irritable1 ill-tempered1 untidy--all these distressing characteristics they may reveal to their miserable husbands later1 but for the first few weeks of marriage they rarely unmask4 ,it is when the home is settled into1 and the regular routine of existence begins1 that the test is fairly made4 ,the admirable angler now shows herself in her true colors4 ,she means to be a good housekeeper1 so she studies her husband's likes and dislikes1 and incontestably1 though silently1 demonstrates to him that since he hates bacon he shall not have it every morning4 ,above all1 she reflects1 and recollects1 and realizes that what he loved her for in those very early days1 when first she taught him to grow fond of her1 were her pretty ways4 ,and who shall say1 with so glorious a result as this winning woman shall achieve1 that she was wrong in her girlhood to be an angler8 ,if there were more of them6 ,but there are more than is imagined4 ,only it is the happy country that has no history1 and the successful angler that has no historian4 ,,duties ,,of ,,an ,,engaged ,,girl4 ,an engaged girl should endeavor to be both a comfort and a help to her lover2 not merely a pet and plaything4 ,it is a very bad augury for the future when a man instinctively feels that a wax doll would be of as much use to his worries as she whom he intends making his helpmeet for life4 ,and yet1 only the other day1 a gentleman was heard to exclaim3 8,no1 no2 ,i would not trouble ,lily for the world2 why1 she is only made for the sunshine and the flowers40 ,again1 it is the engaged girl's duty to be open and candid in all her relations with her lover4 ,the seeds of much future distrust and unhappiness are sown if once he suspects she is keeping a secret from him4 ,it is also her duty to be considerate of his wishes1 and if he have a harmless antipathy to any little thing or other1 let her humor him in this4 ,no doubt she also has some little 8fads0 which require consideration4 ,for instance1 that girl was wise who ceased adopting 8mannish0 ways because her sweetheart disapproved4 ,by doing so she only rendered herself more charming than ever in his eyes4 ,to be punctual is another of the engaged girl's duties4 ,she has no more business to keep her lover waiting than he has to keep her waiting4 ,tardiness is not a sign of maidenly indifference1 as some damsels seem to think4 ,it is merely an indication of bad manners4 ,of course1 it is her bounden duty to be engaged openly4 ,her lover should be known to her parents1 and1 where practicable1 should visit her at her own house4 ,in conclusion1 ,i will mention the last and most important duty of all1 and that is that she should love her lover with her whole heart1 mind and strength4 ,if she does not perform this office thoroughly and well1 the others might just as easily be left alone4 ,,premature ,,matrimony4 ,marriage is a divine and beautiful arrangement1 as designed in ,god's providence4 ,it is the blending of two spirits in one4 ,man is incomplete without his wife3 he has strength1 she has beauty4 8,it is not good that man should be alone40 8,whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing40 8,of all the joys that man can feel1 ,the purest sure are there4 ,while o'er his heart affections steal1 ,like balmy summer air2 ,his wife's caress1 his children's smile1 ,unlike the world are free from guile40 ,premature marriages are among the greatest evils of the times--the result of fancy4 ,the ballroom or evening party never develops real character4 ,matches made at such places1 or made under similar circumstances1 are not of the class that originate in heaven4 ,they more generally are conceived in the opposite place1 and bring forth only iniquity4 ,the true way to study and learn one another is to do it at home1 in the parlor1 in the kitchen1 and on occasions that test the temper4 ,we see the result of premature unions in the almost daily divorces that are taking place2 in the running away of husbands--leaving their wives and children to starve--and in the elopement of wives4 ,not only this1 but we witness it in broken-spirited men1 made old in the prime of life1 struggling on for mere food1 clothing1 and mere shelter2 and in woman1 cross1 sluttish and wrinkled4 ,and the result does not stop with the husband and wife4 ,there are the children2 they partake of the feebleness and vices of the parents1 both physical and moral1 and go out into the world stunted and gnarled4 ,young friends1 beware6 8,o lasses take care where fancy lights1 ,this world's full of snares3 ,the end of frolicsome fancy's flights ,is oft a nest of cares40 ,a judicious writer1 alluding to the matrimonial state1 says3 8,there is not a city1 scarcely a township1 which does not number among its inhabitants women who have married on very short acquaintance1 only to be abused1 deserted1 and left a burden and a lifelong sorrow to the families in which they were born and reared1 and which they most imprudently and improperly deserted to share the fortunes of relative strangers40 ,if young ladies would realize how grossly indelicate1 as well as culpably reckless1 such marriages appear in the eyes of the observing1 they surely would forbear4 ,a year's thorough acquaintance1 with the most circumstantial accounts1 from disinterested and reliable witnesses1 of the antecedents from childhood1 are the very least guarantee which any woman who realizes what marriage is1 will require of a stranger4 ,even then1 if her parents are not fully satisfied1 as well as herself1 she should still hesitate4 ,marriage is an undertaking in which no delay can be so hazardous as undue precipitation4 8,a prudent man foreseeth the evil and hideth himself2 but the simple pass on and are punished40--,solomon4 ,in how many instances1 of the present day1 is marriage merely a union of hands--the affection not being taken into consideration4 ,the question on the one side1 8,is she handsome8 has she money80 on the other1 8,can he support me in style8 shall ,i be able to make an appearance80 ,how much better would it be to ask1 8,has the woman a heart capable of pure affection80 8,will she be willing to share with me adversity as well as prosperity80 8,will she forsake all others and cleave only to me through weal and woe80 ,and woman1 yes1 woman1 she whose very nature ought to stimulate her to higher and holier motives for taking upon herself the marriage relation1 is too often anxious only as to the length of her husband's purse1 and the amount of his bank stock2 the heart1 the mind1 the intellect1 in fact everything really worth marrying for1 being non-essentials4 ,but1 oh1 the misery which too often follows such marriages6 ,the husband1 when it is too late1 laments his blindness and his folly4 ,the wife is made to realize that riches take to themselves wings and fly away2 and then comes the consciousness of a want of sympathy and congeniality of feelings4 ,both are thrown back upon themselves1 for not a chord in the breast of one vibrates in unison with the other4 ,let the young beware how they enter the marriage state from such motives1 lest they wake too late from the delusion4 ,consult the judgment1 and hesitate when that says 8,beware40 ,let the property be in rather than with the companion4 ,oh1 the loneliness of an unwedded heart6 ,the hands may be united1 but to feel that in heart you are separated must be misery indeed4 ,to think of being obliged to associate for life with one who has not a feeling of sympathy with you1 and who is1 moreover1 in sentiment1 taste and feeling directly opposed to you--how revolting the thought6 ,then1 let love1 not ambition1 lead you to form those ties that naught but death can honorably sever4 ,weigh well the consequences of one wrong or hasty step in the choice of a companion for life4 ,walk softly here1 lest you fall1 to rise no more4 ,seek wisdom from above4 8,in all thy ways acknowledge the ,lord1 and ,he shall direct thy paths40 8,seek first the kingdom of ,god and ,his righteousness0 at all times1 and you are safe4 8,oh1 happy state6 when souls each other draw2 ,when love is liberty and nature's law2 ,all then is full1 possessing and possessed1 ,no craving void left aching in the breast2 ,e'en thought meets thought1 ere from the lips it part1 ,and each warm wish springs mutual from the heart40 ,,the ,,gift ,,of ,,gifts--,a ,,word ,,to ,,husbands4 ,husband1 have you this gift of gifts8 ,has ,god in superabounding mercy given you a dear wife1 lovely1 virtuous1 prudent1 sensible1 intelligent1 and above all a ,god-fearing wife1 meek1 modest1 humble1 ,christlike8--8an helpmeet0 in very deed8 ,well1 what do you think of it8 ,do you appreciate the blessing duly8--make suitable returns8 ,can you do it8 ,such a gift is unspeakable4 ,how few1 comparatively1 appreciate the gift of a good wife8 ,a very godly man said to us recently1 8,i thank the ,lord daily1 hourly1 for the jewel of a wife ,god hath given me40 ,a distinguished writer--speaking of the value of a good wife--remarks thus3 8,in the true wife the husband finds not affection only1 but companionship--a companionship with which no other can compare4 ,the family relation gives retirement without solitude1 and society without the rough intrusion of the world4 ,it plants in the husband's dwelling a friend who can listen to the details of his interests with sympathy1 who can appreciate his repetition of events1 only important as they are embalmed in the heart4 ,common friends are linked to us by a slender thread4 ,we must retain them by ministering1 in some way1 to their interest or their enjoyment4 ,what a luxury it is for a man to feel that in his house there is a true and affectionate being1 in whose presence he may throw off restraint without danger to his dignity2 he may confide without the fear of treachery1 and be sick or unfortunate without being abandoned4 ,if in the outward world he grow weary of human selfishness1 his heart can safely trust in one whose soul yearns for his happiness1 and whose indulgence overlooks his defects40 ,give your wives to understand that you esteem them above all others2 make them your confidants2 confide in them and they will confide in you2 confidence begets confidence1 love begets love1 sweetness begets sweetness4 ,above all1 sympathize with the wives of your bosoms in the hour of affliction4 ,rejoice with them when they rejoice1 and weep with them when they weep4 ,who1 if not a bosom companion1 will wipe from the cheek the falling tear of sorrow8 ,finally1 husbands1 remember that death will soon sever the connubial cord6 ,when you behold her1 with whom you lived1 and toiled1 and wept1 and rejoiced1 cold and lifeless1 laid in the coffin-- 8,think of the happiness so deep and tender ,that filled thy heart when wandering by her side1 ,think how her faintest smile had power to render ,the darkest moment one of love and pride4 8,and now that this frail form in death grows colder1 ,a sweet1 calm rapture fills the parting hour1 ,that thou art with her1 though a sad beholder1 ,a witness of the dear ,redeemer's power60 ,will you then regret that you studied always to promote her happiness8 that the law of kindness and love dwelt on your lips evermore8 ,o think1 and be now her ministering angel6 8,a prudent wife is from the ,lord10 directly2 to ,god be all the praise4 ,,the ,,good ,,wife4 ,jeremy ,taylor says1 8,if you are for pleasure1 marry2 if you prize rosy health1 marry2 and if money is your object1 marry4 ,a good wife is heaven's best gift to man--his angel and minister of graces innumerable--his gem of many virtues--his casket of jewels--her voice1 his sweetest music--her smiles1 his brightest day--her kiss1 the guardian of his innocence--her arms1 the pale of his safety1 the balm of his health1 the balsam of his life--her industry1 his surest wealth--her economy1 his safest steward--her lips his faithful counselors--her bosom1 the safest pillow of his cares--and her prayers the ablest advocates of heaven's blessings on his head40 ,,woman4 8,she ne'er with treacherous kiss her ,saviour stung1 ,nor e'er denied ,him with unholy tongue2 ,she1 when apostles shrank1 could danger brave2 ,last at ,his cross and earliest at ,his grave40 99 99 99 99 99 8,to think of summers yet to come1 ,that ,i am not to see2 ,to think a weed is yet to bloom ,from dust that ,i shall be6 8,to think when heaven and earth are fled1 ,and times and seasons o'er1 ,when all that can die shall be dead1 ,that ,i must die no more6 8,ah6 where will then my portion be8 ,how shall ,i spend eternity60 99 99 99 99 99 ,the ,literary ,sensation of the ,hour ,,is ,the ,confessions of ,a ,young ,girl ,by ,,vera ,illustration ,,would ,,you care to see love revealed in a new and entrancing light1 revealed by one whose very soul is burning with a divine and absorbing passion8 ,,would ,,you care to have revealed to you the pre-nuptial desires of a young and beautiful woman1 madly longing for her lover's embrace8 ,,would ,,you care to see passion revealed with a fire and intensity inconceivable to the average human8 ,,would ,,you care to gaze into a heart throbbing deliriously with the joy of a transcendent happiness1 then staggering under the weight of a nameless horror8 ,,would ,,you care to study the quivering soul of a woman and watch her as she revels in wild and ecstatic emotions1 the joy of bliss realized1 and later gaze upon her as she sinks into the agonizing and abysmal depths of ruin and despair8 ,,would ,,you like to be lifted out of your dull1 commonplace self and thrilled with new thoughts1 new impulses1 new blood red emotions1 by a gloriously beautiful woman who opens the secret chambers of her heart so that you may observe at close range the roaring volcano of love that is consuming her very soul8 ,then seize this momentous opportunity and reap an experience which no other volume can afford1 by reading ,,the ,,confessions ,,of ,a ,,young ,,girl ,the book that has caused a sensation in the old world and is now sweeping the ,western ,hemisphere like a prairie fire4 ,,the ,,literary ,,sensation ,,of ,,two ,,continents ,printed from large type1 and bound in paper cover with illustration in colors4 ,sent to any address by mail postpaid on receipt of ,price1 #cj cents4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,two ,,hundred ,,old-,,time ,,songs4 ,this volume contains the words and music of choicest gems of the old and familiar songs we used to sing when we were young4 ,it has been arranged with great care and we have no hesitation in saying that it is the best book of the kind published4 ,read the following partial table of ,contents4 ,the book contains #acj songs besides the ones mentioned here and would cost #ej in sheet music form4 ,illustration ,willie1 ,we ,have ,missed ,you4 ,wait for the ,wagon4 ,oh ,dear6 ,what ,can the ,matter be4 ,oh ,why do you ,tease ,me4 ,oh1 ,would ,i ,were a ,bird4 ,oh1 ,would ,i ,were a ,boy ,again4 ,over the ,garden ,wall4 ,pilgrim ,fathers1 ,the4 ,pat ,malloy4 ,pauper's ,drive1 ,the4 ,paddle ,your ,own ,canoe4 ,robin ,adair4 ,robinson ,crusoe4 ,don't ,you ,go1 ,tommy4 ,free as a ,bird4 ,in the ,gloaming4 ,john ,anderson1 ,my ,joe4 ,katie's ,letter4 ,little ,annie ,rooney4 ,larboard ,watch4 ,life on the ,ocean ,wave1 ,a4 ,low ,backed ,car1 ,the4 ,mollie1 ,put the ,kettle ,on4 ,meet ,me by ,moonlight4 ,nancy ,lee4 ,o1 ,boys ,carry ,me ',long4 ,oh6 ,susannah4 ,our ,flag is ,there4 ,o ,had ,i ,wings ,like a ,dove4 ,old ,oaken ,bucket1 ,the4 ,o ,come1 ,come ,away4 ,rocked in the ,cradle of the ,deep4 ,rock ,me to ,sleep1 ,mother4 ,sparkling and ,bright4 ,there was an ,old ,woman4 ',tis the ,last ,rose of ,summer4 ,rose of ,allandale4 ,star ,spangled ,banner1 ,the4 ,saint ,patrick ,was a ,gentleman4 ,see ,saw1 ,margery ,daw4 ,sing a ,song of ,sixpence4 ,see1 the ,conquering ,hero ,comes4 ,stop ,dat ,knockin'4 ,sally in ,our ,alley4 ,scots1 ,what ,ha'e ,wi' ,wallace ,bled4 ,sword of ,bunker ,hill1 ,the4 ,spider and the ,fly1 ,the4 ,shells of ,ocean4 ,steal ,away4 ,take ,back the ,heart4 ,three ,fishers ,went ,sailing4 ,ten ,little ,niggers4 ',tis the ,last ,rose of ,summer4 ,ta-,ra-,ra-,boom-,de-,ay4 ,thou ,art ,gone ,from ,my ,gaze4 ,there is a ,green ,hill far ,away4 ,there was a ,jolly ,miller4 ,this book of #agf pages containing the above entire list of songs and many others1 words and music1 will be sent by mail postpaid upon receipt of price4 ,paper ,cover1 #ce cents4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,the ,,housewife',s ,,treasure6 ,,the ,,home-,,keeper',s ,,delight6 ,,peerless6 ,,unequalled6 ,,the ,,everyday ,,cook ,,book ,illustration saves money1 saves labor4 ,makes cooking pleasurable1 easy and delightful4 ,without previous experience or instruction1 by the aid of this magic volume1 the busy housewife can quickly learn to make hundreds of savory1 appetizing1 nourishing dishes1 plain or fancy1 dainty or substantial4 ,easy6 ,practical6 ,economical6 ,concise6 ,,the ,,everyday ,,cook ,,book is the ,aladdin's lamp that converts the kitchen into fairy land1 and the stove1 oven and range into magic producers of appetizing and delicious edibles4 ,,two ,,thousand ,,favorite ,,recipes for cooking every known variety of food4 ,dishes that tickle the palate1 satisfy the appetite1 aid digestion1 promote health and prolong life4 ,the magic portal to a world of toothsome delights4 ,,it ,,tells ,,you ,,how6 ,,it ,,shows ,,you ,,how6 ,makes ,poor ,cooks ,good ,cooks6 ,converts ,drudgery ,into ,pleasure1 ,toil ,into ,delight6 ,it ,tells ,you ,what to ,eat6 ,when to ,eat6 ,how to ,eat6 ,what to ,buy6 ,when to ,buy6 ,how to ,buy6 ,every recipe has been thoroughly tried and tested1 and pronounced by numerous housewives to be par excellence1 not only as to pleasant results1 but also in regard to the small cost involved4 ,also contains scores of immensely valuable household hints and information on every subject of interest to the cook1 housewife and home-keeper4 ,a ,cook ,book and ,home ,encyclopedia ,all in ,one6 ,invaluable for the ,kitchen6 ,unequalled for the ,home6 ,you ,want it6 ,you ,cannot do ,without ,it6 ,buy ,it ,now6 ,the book contains #bjj pages1 size #g x #e inches1 is bound in heavy paper cover1 and will be sent by mail1 postpaid1 upon receipt of only #cj cents in stamps or silver4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,fortune-,,telling ,,by ,,cards1 ,,dice1 and ,,crystal4 ,illustration ,here1 indeed1 is a book every young man or woman should have4 ,you must have often noticed at card parties1 while sitting or standing around waiting for late arrivals to come1 there are a few moments when you wish they'd start1 or you wish there was 8something doing40 ,just at this moment is your chance to make a hit with your fortune-telling by cards4 ,no matter how poor you are at it1 the crowd will flock around you four and five deep4 ,you will be the king bee1 as it were1 and you will have the inward pleasure of making the others feel like a long skirt on a rainy day--very damp4 ,in addition to the above1 8,fortune-,telling by the ,magic ,crystal0 is gone into in detail1 giving all the symbols for a correct divination of the future4 8,the ,oraculum3 or1 ,napoleon ,buonaparte's ,book of ,fate0 7especially translated7 is given here for perhaps the first time in the ,english language4 ,a table of questions generally applicable has been compiled1 and #af pages of answers1 to suit any temperament or individuality1 are given4 8,fortune-,telling ,with ,dice0 is very complete1 giving an assorted list of #cb answers to questions for every possible throw of two dice4 ,get this book1 study it1 and use it at the first opportunity1 and if the girls don't say you are certainly ,,it we'll refund the money4 ,here's a chance to make a hit4 ,the book contains #ajj pages1 fully illustrated1 is bound in paper cover1 and will be sent by mail1 postpaid1 on receipt of price1 #cj cents4 ,address 99 99 99 99 99 ,,hand ,,book ,,series4 ,the following list contains the ,,best that is written on dreams1 recitations and the art of ,,doing ,,things4 ,all of them are well printed1 and bound in handsome colored covers1 most of them being illustrated throughout4 ,illustration ,twelve ,hundred ,new ,riddles4 ,model ,letter ,writer4 ,gipsy ,dream ,book and ,fortune ,teller4 ,amateur's ,guide to ,magic and ,mystery4 ,how to ,entertain a ,social ,party4 ,how to ,woo and ,how to ,win4 ,the ,old ,witches' ,dream ,book and ,fortune ,teller4 ,two ,hundred ,after-,dinner ,stories4 ,the ,swindlers of ,america4 ,art of ,ventriloquism4 ,howard ,thurston's ,card ,tricks4 ,hand-,shadows on the ,wall4 ,your ,hand is ,your ,fortune4 ,southwick's ,jokes and ,recitations4 ,southwick's ,irish ,dialect ,poems and ,recitations4 ,fortune ,telling by ,cards1 ,dice1 ,crystal1 ,etc4 ,carter's ,magic and ,magicians4 ,taylor's ,popular ,recitations4 ,love1 ,courtship and ,marriage4 ,temptations of the ,stage4 ,behind the ,scenes4 ,children's ,recitations4 ,recitations ,for ,little ,people4 ,a ,hundred ,ways of ,kissing ,girls4 ,five ,hundred ,toasts4 ,great ,words of ,great ,men4 ,after-,dinner ,stories4 ,a ,thousand ,conundrums4 ,how to ,mix ,drinks4 ,how to ,read ,character by ,handwriting4 ,green ,room ,gossip4 ,the ,art of ,kissing4 ,palmistry4 ,how ,to ,become ,beautiful4 ,the ,album ,writer's ,friend4 ,the ,confessions of a ,young ,girl4 ,vail's ,dream ,book4 ,pocket ,manual of ,useful ,information4 ,any of these books will be mailed1 postpaid1 for #cj cents4 ,,ohio ,,card ,,co41 ,,columbus ,,ohio 99 99 99 99 99 ,transcriber's ,notes3 8,a ,young ,widow0 is a pen name of ,irene ,w4 ,hartt4 ,punctuation has been made consistent4 ,variations in spelling and hyphenation were retained as they appear in the original publication1 except that obvious typographical errors have been corrected4 ,the following change was made3 p4 #g3 illegible first letter assumed to be y 7with yearning only17 p4 #fc3 her inserted 7as her parents7 ,ad for 8,,fortune-,,telling ,,by ,,cards1 ,,dice1 and ,,crystal03 ,the address is missing at the end of the ad after the 8,address0 label4