,transcrib$ f ! #aije ,! ,religi\s ,tract ,society edition by ,david ,price1 email ccx#jgdpglaf4org ,picture3 ,book cov] ,,grace ,,ab\nd+ ,,to ,,! ,,*ief ,,( ,,s9n]s ,,9 ,a ,,fai?ful ,,acc\nt ,,( ,,! ,,life ,,& ,,dea? ,,( ,,john ,,bunyan ,,or ,a ,,brief ,,relation ,,( ,,! ,,exce$+ ,,m]cy ,,( ,,god ,,9 ,,*ri/ ,,to ,,him ,,namely ,,9 ,,8 ,,tak+ ,,him ,,out ,,( ,,! ,,dunghill1 ,,& ,,conv]t+ ,,him ,,to ,,! ,,fai? ,,( ,,8 ,,bless$ ,,son ,,jesus ,,*ri/4 ,,"h ,,is ,,also ,,p>ticul>ly ,,%ew$1 ,,:at ,,sight ,,(1 ,,& ,,:at ,,tr\bles ,,he ,,_h ,,= ,,s92 ,,& ,,also1 ,,:at ,,v>i\s ,,temptations ,,he ,,ha? ,,met ,,)1 ,,& ,,h[ ,,god ,,ha? ,,c>ri$ ,,him ,,?r\gh ,,!m4 ,,?or\ghly ,,revis$ ,,by ,,! ,,eigh? ,,edition ,,) ,,eight ,,col\r$ ,,illu/rations ,,by ,,h>old ,,copp+ ,picture3 ,decorative graphic ,london ,,! ,,religi\s ,,tract ,,solciety #d ,b\v]ie ,/reet & #fe ,/ ,paul's ,*ur*y>d #aije 99 99 99 99 99 ,come & he> all ye t fe> ,god1 & ,i w decl>e :at ,he ha? done = my s\l4--,psalm lxvi4 #af4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,prefatory ,,note ,,! text 9 ?is edition is z ne>ly z possible t ( ! eigh?1 :i* 0 correct$ by ,bunyan himself a few weeks be=e 8 dea?4 ,! text ( #8,a ,relation' is t ( ! fir/ edition ( #agfe4 ,a few m9or *anges h be5 introduc$ = ! conv5i5ce ( ! read]4 ,! use ( capital lett]s has be5 consid]ably modifi$1 & ! or?ography has be5 9 places mod]niz$4 ,9 "s few in/ances ! ,scripture ref]5ces h be5 add$ to quotations :]e !y did n appe> 9 ! orig9al4 ,x mu/ be rememb]$ t ,bunyan (t5 quot$ ,scripture inexactly1 & x has n be5 deem$ necess>y to make all 8 quotations foll[ ! text ( ! ,au?oriz$ ,v]sion4 ,! m>g9al summ>y is n "p ( ! orig9al1 b has be5 prep>$ = ?is edition 9 ord] t x may correspond ) ! ,society's editions ( ! #8,pilgrim's ,progress4' #g ,! illu/rations h be5 prep>$ = ?is "w by ,mr4 ,h>old ,copp+1 ^: illu/rations to ! #8,pilgrim's ,progress' h ju/ly attract$ mu* att5tion4 ,,cont5ts ,,page ,,prefatory ,,note #g ,a ,,preface #aa ,,grace ,,ab\nd+ ,,to ,,! ,,*ief ,,( ,,s9n]s1 p>agraphs #a-cci #ag ,a ,brief ,acc\nt ( ! ,au?or's ,call to ! ,"w ( #adg ! ,m9i/ry ,a ,brief ,acc\nt ( ! ,au?or's ,imprisonm5t #afi ,! ,conclusion1 p>agraphs #a-g #ahj ,a ,,relation ,,( ,,! ,,imprisonm5t ,,( ,,! ,,au?or ,,9 ,,! ,,mon? #ahc ,,( ,,novemb] #affj ,a ,,cont9uation ,,( ,,! ,,au?or',s ,,life #bbi ,a ,,brief ,,"* ,,( ,,! ,,au?or #bda ,,po/script #bdc ,a ,,preface ,,or1 ,,brief ,,acc\nt ,,( ,,! ,,publi%+ ,,?is ,,"w4 ,,writt5 ,,by ,,! ,,au?or ,,!re(1 ,,& ,,d$icat$ ,,to ,,^? ,,:om ,,god ,,ha? ,,c\nt$ ,,him ,,wor?y ,,to ,,beget ,,to ,,fai?1 ,,by ,,8 ,,m9i/ry ,,9 ,,! ,,^w ,,*ildr51 ,grace be ) y4 ,am54 ,i be+ tak5 f y 9 pres5ce1 & s ti$ up t ,i _c p]=m t duty1 t f ,god do? lie ^u me to y-w>d1 = y\r f>!r edify+ & build+ up 9 fai? & hol9ess1 etc41 yet t y may see my s\l ha? fa!rly c>e & desire aft] y\r spiritual & ev]la/+ welf>e1 ,i n[ once aga91 z be=e1 f ! top ( ,%5ir & ,h]mon1 s n[ f ! lions' d5s1 f ! m\nta9s ( ! leop>ds 7,song iv4 #h71 d look yet aft] y all1 greatly long+ to see y\r safe arrival into ,,! desir$ ,hav54 ,i ?ank ,god ^u e remembrance ( y2 & rejoice1 ev5 :ile ,i /ick betwe5 ! tee? ( ! lion 9 ! wild]ness1 t ! grace & m]cy1 & k ( ,*ri/ our ,savi\r1 :i* ,god ha? be/[$ ^u y1 ) abundance ( fai? & love2 y\r hung]+s & ?ir/+s aft] f>!r acqua9tance ) ! ,fa!r1 9 ! ,son2 y\r t5d]ness ( he>t1 y\r trembl+ at s91 y\r sob] & holy deportm5t also1 be=e bo? ,god & m51 is a great refre%m5t to me2 ,= ye are our glory & joy4 #a ,!ss4 ii4 #bj4 ,i h s5t y "h enclos$1 a drop ( t honey t ,i h tak5 out ( ! c>case ( a lion4 ,judg4 xiv4 #e-h4 ,i h eat5 !re( myself1 & am mu* refre%$ !reby4 7,temptations1 :5 we meet !m at fir/1 are z ! lion t ro>$ ^u ,samson2 b if we ov]come !m1 ! next "t we see !m1 we %all f9d a ne/ ( honey )9 !m47 ,! ,phili/9es und]/& me n4 ,x is some?+ ( a relation ( ! "w ( ,god ^u my s\l1 ev5 f ! v fir/1 till n[1 :]e9 y may p]ceive my ca/+s d[n1 & ris+s up3 = ,he w\nde?1 & ,8 h&s make :ole4 ,x is writt5 9 ! ,scripture1 ,isa4 xxxviii4 #ai1 ,! fa!r to ! *ildr5 %all make kn[n ,?y tru?4 ,yea1 x 0 = ?is reason ,i lay s long at ,s9ai1 ,lev4 iv4 #aj1 #aa1 to see ! fire1 & ! cl\d1 & ! d>kness1 t ,i might fe> ! ,"l all ! days ( my life ^u e>?1 & tell ( ,8 wondr\s works to my *ildr54 ,psalm lxxviii4 #c-e4 ,moses1 ,numb4 xxxiii4 #a1 #b1 writ ( ! j\rneys ( ! *ildr5 ( ,israel1 f ,egypt to ! l& ( ,canaan2 & comm&$ also t !y did rememb] _! =ty ye>s' travel 9 ! wild]ness4 ,?\ %alt rememb] all ! way :i* ! ,"l ?y ,god l$ !e ^! =ty ye>s 9 ! wild]ness1 to humble !e1 & to prove !e1 & to "k :at 0 9 ?9e he>t1 :e!r ?\ w\ld/ keep ,8 comm&m5ts1 or no4 ,deut4 viii4 #b4 ,:]e=e ?is ,i h endeav\r$ to d2 & n only s1 b to publi% x also2 t1 if ,god w1 o!rs may be put 9 remembrance ( :at ,he ha? done = _! s\ls1 by read+ ,8 "w ^u me4 ,x is pr(itable = ,*ri/ians to be (t5 call+ to m9d ! v beg9n+s ( grace ) _! s\ls4 ,x is a night to be mu* obs]v$ unto ! ,"l1 = br++ !m out f ! l& ( ,egypt4 ,?is is t night ( ! ,"l to be obs]v$ ( all ! *ildr5 ( ,israel 9 _! g5]ations4 ,exod4 xii4 #db4 ,o my ,god 7sai? ,david71 ,ps4 xlii4 #f1 my s\l is ca/ d[n )9 me2 !re=e w ,i rememb] !e f ! l& ( ,jordan1 & ( ! ,h]monites1 f ! hill ,miz>4 ,he rememb]$ also ! lion & ! be>1 :5 he w5t to fight ) ! giant ( ,ga?4 #a ,sam4 xvii4 #cf1 #cg4 ,x 0 ,paul's accu/om$ mann]1 ,acts xxii41 & t1 :5 tri$ = 8 life1 ,acts xxiv41 ev5 to op5 be=e 8 judges ! mann] ( 8 conv]sion3 he w\ld ?9k ( t day1 & t h\r1 9 :i* he fir/ did meet ) grace2 = he f\nd x support$ him4 ,:5 ,god _h br\ght ! *ildr5 ( ,israel out ( ! ,r$ ,sea1 f> into ! wild]ness1 yet !y mu/ turn q ab\t ?i!r aga91 to rememb] ! dr[n+ ( _! enemies !re1 ,numb4 xiv4 #be1 = ?\gh !y sang 8 praise be=e1 yet !y soon =gat 8 works4 ,psalm cvi4 #aa1 #ab4 ,9 ?is disc\rse ( m9e1 y may see mu*2 mu* ,i say1 ( ! grace ( ,god t[>ds me3 ,i ?ank ,god1 ,i c c\nt x mu*2 = x 0 above my s9s & ,satan's temptations too4 ,i c rememb] my fe>s & d\bts1 & sad mon?s1 ) com=t2 !y are z ! head ( ,goliah 9 my h&3 !re 0 no?+ to ,david l ,goliah's sword1 ev5 t sword t %\ld h be5 %ea!d 9 8 b[els2 = ! v sight & remembrance ( t did prea* =? ,god's deliv]ance to him4 ,oh6 ! remembrance ( my great s9s1 ( my great temptations1 & ( my great fe> ( p]i%+ = ev]6 ,!y br+ afre% into my m9d1 ! remembrance ( my great help1 my great supports f heav51 & ! great grace t ,god ext5d$ to su* a wret* z ,i4 ,my de> *ildr51 call to m9d ! =m] days1 & ye>s ( anci5t times3 rememb] also y\r songs 9 ! night1 & commune ) y\r own ,he>ts1 ,ps4 lxxiii4 #e-ab4 ,yea1 look dilig5tly1 & leave no corn] !re9 unse>*$ = t treasure hid1 ev5 ! treasure ( y\r fir/ & second exp]i5ce ( ! grace ( ,god t[>ds y4 ,rememb]1 ,i say1 ! ^w t fir/ laid hold ^u y3 rememb] y\r t]rors ( consci5ce1 & fe> ( dea? & hell3 rememb] also y\r te>s & pray]s to ,god2 yea1 h[ y sigh$ "u e h$ge = m]cy4 ,h y nev] a hill ,miz> to rememb]8 ,h y =got ! close1 ! milk-h\se1 ! /able1 ! b>n1 & ! l1 :]e ,god did visit y\r s\ls8 ,rememb] also ! ^w1 ! ^w1 ,i say1 ^u :i* ! ,"l ha? caus$ y to hope3 if y h s9n$ aga9/ light1 if y are tempt$ to blaspheme1 if y are dr[n$ 9 despair1 if y ?9k ,god fights aga9/ y1 or if heav5 is hid f y\r eyes2 rememb] x 0 ?us ) y\r fa!r2 b out ( !m all ! ,"l deliv]$ me4 ,i c\ld h enl>g$ mu* 9 ?is my disc\rse1 ( my temptations & tr\bles = s92 z also ( ! m]ciful k9dness & work+ ( ,god ) my s\l3 ,i c\ld also h /epp$ into a /yle mu* high] ?an ?is1 9 :i* ,i h "h disc\rs$1 & c\ld h adorn$ all ?+s m ?an "h ,i h seem$ to d1 b ,i d>e n3 ,god did n play 9 tempt+ ( me2 nei!r did ,i play1 :5 ,i sunk z into ! bottomless pit1 :5 ! pangs ( hell caught hold ^u me2 :]e=e ,i may n play 9 relat+ ( !m1 b be pla9 & simple1 & lay d[n ! ?+ z x 02 he t like? x1 let him receive x1 & he t do? n1 let him produce a bett]4 ,f>ewell4 ,my de> ,*ildr51 ,! milk & honey are beyond ?is wild]ness4 ,god be m]ciful to y1 & grant t y be n slo?ful to g 9 to possess ! l&4 ,,john ,,bunyan4 ,,grace ,,ab\nd+ ,,to ,,! ,,*ief ,,( ,,s9n]s ,,or1 ,a ,,brief ,,relation ,,( ,,! ,,exce$+ ,,m]cy ,,( ,,god ,,9 ,,*ri/1 ,,to ,,8 ,,poor ,,s]vant1 ,,john ,,bunyan ,,9 ?is my relation ( ! m]ciful work+ ( ,god ^u my s\l1 x w n be amiss1 if 9 ! fir/ place1 ,i d 9 a few words give y a h9t ( my p$igree1 & mann] ( br++ up2 t !reby ! goodness & b\nty ( ,god t[>ds me1 may be ! m advanc$ & magnifi$ be=e ! sons ( m54 #b4 ,= my desc5t !n1 x 01 z is well kn[n by _m1 ( a l[ & inconsid]able g5]ation2 my fa!r's h\se be+ ( t rank t is meane/1 & mo/ despis$ ( all ! families 9 ! l&4 ,:]e=e1 ,i h n "h1 z o!rs1 to boa/ ( noble blood1 or ( any high-born /ate1 accord+ to ! fle%2 ?\gh1 all ?+s consid]$1 ,i magnify ! heav5ly ,maje/y1 = t by ?is door ,he br\ght me into ! _w1 to p>take ( ! grace & life t is 9 ,*ri/ by ! gospel4 #c4 ,b yet1 not)/&+ ! meanness & inconsid]abl5ess ( my p>5ts1 x pleas$ ,god to put x into _! he>ts1 to put me to s*ool1 to le>n bo? to read & write2 ! :i* ,i also atta9$1 accord+ to ! rate ( o!r poor m5's *ildr53 ?\gh1 to my %ame1 ,i confess1 ,i did soon lose t ,i _h le>n$1 ev5 almo/ utt]ly1 & t long be=e ! ,"l did "w ,8 graci\s "w ( conv]sion ^u my s\l4 #d4 ,z = my own natural life1 = ! "t t ,i 0 )\t ,god 9 ! _w1 x 01 inde$1 accord+ to ! c\rse ( ?is _w & ! _s t n[ worke? 9 ! *ildr5 ( disob$i5ce4 ,eph4 ii4 #b1 #c4 ,x 0 my delight to be #8tak5 captive by ! devil at 8 w1' #b ,tim4 ii4 #bf2 be+ fill$ ) all unrighte\sness2 ! :i* did also s /rongly "w1 & put =? itself1 bo? 9 my he>t & life1 & t f a *ild1 t ,i _h b few equals 7especially consid]+ my ye>s1 :i* 7 t5d]1 be+ b few7 bo? = curs+1 swe>+1 ly+1 & blasphem+ ! holy "n ( ,god4 #e4 ,yea1 s settl$ & root$ 0 ,i 9 ^! ?+s1 t !y became z a second nature to me2 ! :i*1 z ,i h also ) sob]ness consid]$ s9ce1 did s (f5d ! ,"l1 t ev5 9 my *ildhood he did sc>e & affright5 me ) fe>ful dreams1 & did t]rify me ) fe>ful visions4 ,= (t51 aft] ,i h sp5t ?is & ! o!r day 9 s91 ,i h 9 my b$ be5 greatly afflict$1 :ile asleep1 ) ! appreh5sions ( devils & wick$ spirits1 :o /ill1 z ,i !n ?\ght1 lab\r$ to draw me away ) !m1 ( :i* ,i c\ld nev] be rid4 #f4 ,also ,i %\ld1 at ^! ye>s1 be greatly afflict$ & tr\bl$ ) ! ?\ghts ( ! fe>ful torm5ts ( hell-fire2 /ill fe>+1 t x w\ld be my lot to be f\nd at la/ among ^? devils & helli% fi5ds1 :o are !re b\nd d[n ) ! *a9s & bonds ( d>kness1 unto ! judgm5t ( ! great day4 #g4 ,^! ?+s1 ,i say1 :5 ,i 0 b a *ild1 b n9e or t5 ye>s old1 did s di/ress my s\l1 t !n 9 ! mid/ ( my _m sports & *ildi% vanities1 amid/ my va9 companions1 ,i 0 (t5 mu* ca/ d[n1 & afflict$ 9 my m9d !re)1 yet c\ld ,i n let g my s9s3 yea1 ,i 0 also !n s ov]come ) despair ( life & heav51 t ,i %\ld (t5 wi%1 ei!r t !re _h be5 no hell1 or t ,i _h be5 a devil2 suppos+ !y 7 only torm5tors2 t if x mu/ ne$s be1 t ,i w5t ?i!r1 ,i might be r a torm5tor1 ?an be torm5t$ myself4 #h4 ,a :ile aft] ^? t]rible dreams did leave me1 :i* also ,i soon =got2 = my pleasures did quickly cut (f ! remembrance ( !m1 z if !y _h nev] be53 :]e=e ) m gre$9ess1 accord+ to ! /r5g? ( nature1 ,i did /ill let loose ! re9s ( my lu/1 & delight$ 9 all transgressions aga9/ ! law ( ,god3 s t until ,i came to ! /ate ( m>riage1 ,i 0 ! v r+lead] ( all ! y\? t kept me company1 9 all mann] ( vice & ungodl9ess4 #i4 ,yea1 su* preval5cy _h ! lu/s & fruits ( ! fle% 9 ?is poor s\l ( m9e1 t _h n a miracle ( preci\s grace prev5t$1 ,i _h n only p]i%$ by ! /roke ( et]nal ju/ice1 b _h also laid myself op51 ev5 to ! /roke ( ^? laws :i* br+ "s to disgrace & op5 %ame be=e ! face ( ! _w4 #aj4 ,9 ^! days ! ?\ghts ( religion 7 v griev\s to me2 ,i c\ld nei!r endure x myself1 nor t any o!r %\ld2 s t :5 ,i h se5 "s read 9 ^? books t conc]n$ ,*ri/ian piety1 x w\ld be z x 7 a prison to me4 ,!n ,i said unto ,god1 ,dep>t f me1 = ,i desire n ! k ( ,?y ways4 ,job xxi4 #ad1 #ae4 ,i 0 n[ void ( all good consid]ation1 heav5 & hell 7 bo? out ( sight & m9d2 & z = sav+ & damn+1 !y 7 lea/ 9 my ?\ghts4 ,o ,"l1 ,?\ kn[e/ my life1 & my ways 7 n hid f ,!e6 #aa4 ,b ?is ,i well rememb]1 t ?\gh ,i c\ld myself s9 ) ! greate/ delight & ease1 & also take pleasure 9 ! vil5ess ( my companions2 yet1 ev5 !n1 if ,i _h at any "t se5 wick$ ?+s1 by ^? :o pr(ess$ goodness1 x w\ld make my _s tremble4 ,z once above all ! re/1 :5 ,i 0 9 ! height ( vanity1 yet he>+ "o to swe>1 t 0 reckon$ = a religi\s man1 x _h s great a /roke ^u my _s1 t x made my he>t a*e4 #ab4 ,b ,god did n utt]ly leave me1 b foll[$ me /ill1 n n[ ) convictions1 b judgm5ts2 yet su* z 7 mix$ ) m]cy4 ,= once ,i fell into a creek ( ! sea1 & h>dly escap$ dr[n+4 ,ano!r "t ,i fell out ( a boat into ,b$=d riv]1 b1 m]cy yet pres]v$ me alive3 besides1 ano!r "t1 be+ 9 a field1 ) "o ( my companions1 x *anc$ t an add] pass$ ov] ! highway1 s ,i hav+ a /ick 9 my h&1 /ruck h] ov] ! back2 & hav+ /unn$ h]1 ,i =c$ op5 h] m\? ) my /ick1 & pluck$ h] /+ out ) my f+]s2 by :i* act _h n ,god be5 m]ciful unto me1 ,i might by my desp]at5ess1 h br\ght myself to my end4 #ac4 ,?is also ,i h tak5 notice (1 ) ?anksgiv+3 ,:5 ,i 0 a soldi]1 ,i ) o!rs1 7 drawn out to g to su* a place to besiege x2 b :5 ,i 0 j ready to g1 "o ( ! company desir$ to g 9 my room3 to :i*1 :5 ,i _h cons5t$1 he took my place2 & com+ to ! siege1 z he /ood s5t9el1 he 0 %ot 9 ! head ) a musket-bullet & di$4 #ad4 ,"h1 z ,i said1 7 judgm5ts & m]cy1 b nei!r ( !m did awak5 my s\l to righte\sness2 :]e=e ,i s9n$ /ill1 & grew m & m rebelli\s aga9/ ,god1 & c>eless ( my own salvation4 #ae4 ,pres5tly aft] ?is1 ,i *ang$ my condition into a m>ri$ /ate1 & my m]cy 01 to light ^u a wife ^: fa!r 0 c\nt$ godly3 ,?is woman & ,i1 ?\gh we came toge!r z poor z poor might be 7n hav+ s mu* h\sehold /uff z a di% or a spoon betwixt u bo?71 yet ?is %e _h = h] "p3 ,! ,pla9 ,man's ,pa?way to ,heav5 & ,! ,practice ( ,piety2 :i* h] fa!r _h left h] :5 he di$4 ,9 ^! two books ,i w\ld sometimes read ) h]1 :]e9 ,i also f\nd "s ?+s t 7 some:at pleas+ to me 7b all ?is :ile ,i met ) no conviction74 ,%e also w\ld be (t5 tell+ ( me :at a godly man h] fa!r 01 & h[ he w\ld reprove & correct vice1 bo? 9 8 h\se1 & among 8 neighb\rs2 :at a /rict & holy life he liv$ 9 8 days1 bo? 9 ^w & de$4 ,picture3 ,bunyan & 8 ,wife read h] ,fa!r's ,books #af4 ,:]e=e ^! books1 ) ?is relation1 ?\gh !y did n rea* my he>t1 to awak5 x ab\t my sad & s9ful /ate1 yet !y did beget )9 me "s desires to religion3 s t because ,i knew no bett]1 ,i fell 9 v eag]ly ) ! religion ( ! times2 to wit1 to g to *ur* twice a day1 & t too ) ! =emo/2 & !re %\ld v dev\tly1 bo? say & s+1 z o!rs did1 yet reta9+ my wick$ life2 b )al1 ,i 0 s ov]-run ) ! _s ( sup]/ition1 t ,i ador$1 & t ) great devotion1 ev5 all ?+s 7bo? ! high-place1 prie/1 cl]k1 ve/m5t1 s]vice1 & :at else7 belong+ to ! *ur*2 c\nt+ all ?+s holy t 7 !re9 conta9$1 & especially1 ! prie/ & cl]k mo/ happy1 & )\t d\bt1 greatly bless$1 because !y 7 ! s]vants1 z ,i !n ?\ght1 ( ,god1 & 7 pr9cipal 9 ! holy temple1 to d ,8 "w !re94 #ag4 ,?is conceit grew s /rong 9 a little "t ^u my _s1 t _h ,i b se5 a prie/ 7?\gh nev] s sordid & debau*$ 9 8 life71 ,i %\ld f9d my _s fall "u him1 rev]5ce him1 & knit unto him2 yea1 ,i ?\ght1 = ! love ,i did be> unto !m 7suppos+ !m ! m9i/]s ( ,god71 ,i c\ld h laid d[n at _! feet1 & h be5 trampl$ ^u by !m2 _! "n1 _! g>b1 & "w did s intoxicate & bewit* me4 #ah4 ,aft] ,i _h be5 ?us = "s consid]able "t1 ano!r ?\ght came 9 my m9d2 & t 01 :e!r we 7 ( ! ,israelites or no8 ,= f9d+ 9 ! scripture t !y 7 once ! peculi> p ( ,god1 ?\ght ,i1 if ,i 7 "o ( ?is race1 my s\l mu/ ne$s be happy4 ,n[ aga91 ,i f\nd )9 me a great long+ to be resolv$ ab\t ?is "q1 b c\ld n tell h[ ,i %\ld3 at la/ ,i ask$ my fa!r ( x2 :o told me1 ,no1 we 7 n4 ,:]e=e !n ,i fell 9 my _s1 z to ! hopes ( t1 & s rema9$4 #ai4 ,b all ?is :ile1 ,i 0 n s5sible ( ! dang] & evil ( s92 ,i 0 kept f consid]+ t s9 w\ld damn me1 :at religion soev] ,i foll[$1 unless ,i 0 f\nd 9 ,*ri/3 nay1 ,i nev] ?\ght ( ,him1 or :e!r !re 0 su* a ,"o1 or no4 ,?us man1 :ile bl9d1 do? w&]1 b we>ie? himself ) vanity1 = he kn[e? n ! way to ! city ( ,god4 ,eccles4 x4 #ae4 #bj4 ,b "o day 7among/ all ! s]mons our p>son made7 8 subject 01 to treat ( ! ,sabba? day1 & ( ! evil ( break+ t1 ei!r ) lab\r1 sports or o!rwise4 7,n[1 ,i 01 not)/&+ my religion1 "o t took mu* delight 9 all mann] ( vice1 & especially t 0 ! day t ,i did solace myself !re)73 :]e=e ,i fell 9 my consci5ce "u 8 s]mon1 ?9k+ & believ+ t he made t s]mon on purpose to %[ me my evil do+4 ,& at t "t ,i felt :at guilt 01 ?\gh nev] be=e1 t ,i c rememb]2 b !n ,i 01 = ! pres5t1 greatly load5 !re)1 & s w5t home :5 ! s]mon 0 end$1 ) a great bur!n ^u my _s4 #ba4 ,?is1 = t in/ant did b5umb ! s9ews ( my be/ delights1 & did imbitt] my =m] pleasures to me2 b hold1 x la/$ n1 = be=e ,i _h well d9$1 ! tr\ble began to g (f my m9d1 & my he>t return$ to its old c\rse3 b oh6 h[ glad 0 ,i1 t ?is tr\ble 0 gone f me1 & t ! fire 0 put out1 t ,i might s9 aga9 )\t control6 ,:]e=e1 :5 ,i _h satisfi$ nature ) my food1 ,i %ook ! s]mon out ( my m9d1 & to my old cu/om ( sports & gam+1 ,i return$ ) great delight4 #bb4 ,b ! same day1 z ,i 0 9 ! mid/ ( a game ( ,cat1 & hav+ /ruck x "o bl[ f ! hole1 j z ,i 0 ab\t to /rike x ! second "t1 a voice did sudd5ly d>t f heav5 into my s\l1 :i* said1 ,wilt ?\ leave ?y s9s & g to heav51 or h ?y s9s & g to hell8 ,at ?is ,i 0 put to an exce$+ maze2 :]e=e leav+ my cat ^u ! gr\nd1 ,i look$ up to heav51 & 01 z if ,i _h1 ) ! eyes ( my und]/&+1 se5 ! ,"l ,jesus look+ d[n ^u me1 z be+ v hotly displeas$ ) me1 & z if ,he did sev]ely ?reat5 me ) "s griev\s puni%m5t = ^! & o!r ungodly practices4 ,picture3 ,bunyan he>s a ,voice f ,heav5 #bc4 ,i _h no soon] ?us conceiv$ 9 my m9d1 b1 sudd5ly1 ?is conclusion 0 fa/5$ on my _s 7= ! =m] h9t did set my s9s aga9 be=e my face71 ,t ,i _h be5 a great & griev\s s9n]1 & t x 0 n[ too late = me to look aft] heav52 = ,*ri/ w\ld n =give me1 nor p>don my transgressions4 ,!n ,i fell to mus+ on ?is also2 & :ile ,i 0 ?9k+ ( x1 & fe>+ le/ x %\ld be s2 ,i felt my he>t s9k 9 despair1 conclud+ x 0 too late2 & !re=e ,i resolv$ 9 my m9d ,i w\ld g on 9 s93 =1 ?\ght ,i1 if ! case be ?us1 my /ate is surely mis]able2 mis]able if ,i leave my s9s1 & b mis]able if ,i foll[ !m2 ,i c b be damn$1 & if ,i mu/ be s1 ,i _h z good be damn$ = _m s9s1 z be damn$ = few4 #bd4 ,?us ,i /ood 9 ! mid/ ( my play1 be=e all t !n 7 pres5t3 b yet ,i told !m no?+3 b ,i say2 hav+ made ?is conclusion1 ,i return$ desp]ately to my sport aga92 & ,i well rememb]1 t pres5tly ?is k9d ( despair did s possess my s\l1 t ,i 0 p]suad$ ,i c\ld nev] atta9 to o!r com=t ?an :at ,i %\ld get 9 s92 = heav5 0 gone already1 s t on t ,i mu/ n ?9k2 :]e=e ,i f\nd )9 me great desire to take my fill ( s91 /ill /udy+ :at s9 0 yet to be committ$1 t ,i might ta/e ! sweetness ( x2 & ,i made z mu* ha/e z ,i c\ld to fill my belly ) its delicates1 le/ ,i %\ld die be=e ,i _h my desire2 = t ,i fe>$ greatly4 ,9 ^! ?+s1 ,i prote/ be=e ,god1 ,i lye n1 nei!r d ,i feign ?is =m ( spee*2 ^! 7 really1 /rongly1 & ) all my he>t1 my desires3 ,! good ,"l1 ,^: m]cy is unse>*able1 =give me my transgressions6 #be4 ,& ,i am v confid5t1 t ?is temptation ( ! devil is m usual among poor creatures1 ?an _m are aw>e (1 ev5 to ov]-run ! spirits ) a scurvy & se>$ frame ( he>t1 & b5umb+ ( consci5ce1 :i* frame he /illy & slily supplie? ) su* despair1 t1 ?\gh n mu* guilt att5de? s\ls1 yet !y cont9ually h a secret conclusion )9 !m1 t !re is no hope = !m2 = !y h lov$ s9s1 !re=e aft] !m !y w g4 ,j]4 ii4 #be1 & xviii4 #ab4 #bf4 ,n[ !re=e ,i w5t on 9 s9 ) great gre$9ess ( m9d1 /ill grudg+ t ,i c\ld n be s satisfi$ ) x1 z ,i w\ld4 ,?is did cont9ue ) me ab\t a mon?1 or m2 b "o day1 z ,i 0 /&+ at a neighb\r's %op w9d[1 & !re curs+ & swe>+1 & play+ ! madman1 aft] my wont$ mann]1 !re sate )91 ! woman ( ! h\se1 & he>d me2 :o1 ?\gh %e also 0 a v loose & ungodly wret*1 yet prote/$ t ,i swore & curs$ at t mo/ fe>ful rate1 t %e 0 made to tremble to he> me2 & told me fur!r1 t ,i 0 ! ungodlie/ fell[ = swe>+1 t %e ev] he>d 9 all h] life2 & t ,i1 by ?us do+1 0 able to spoil all ! y\? 9 ! :ole t[n1 if !y come b 9 my company4 #bg4 ,at ?is repro( ,i 0 sil5c$1 & put to secret %ame2 & t too1 z ,i ?\ght1 be=e ! ,god ( heav52 :]e=e1 :ile ,i /ood !re1 & hang+ d[n my head1 ,i wi%$ ) all my he>t t ,i might be a little *ild aga91 t my fa!r might le>n me to speak )\t ?is wick$ way ( swe>+2 =1 ?\ght ,i1 ,i am s accu/om$ to x1 t x is 9 va9 = me to ?9k ( a re=mation2 = ,i ?\ght x c\ld nev] be4 #bh4 ,b h[ x came to pass1 ,i "k n2 ,i did f ?is "t =w>d1 s leave my swe>+1 t x 0 a great wond] to myself to obs]ve x2 & :]eas be=e ,i knew n h[ to speak unless ,i put an oa? be=e1 & ano!r beh9d1 to make my words h au?ority2 n[ ,i c\ld1 )\t x1 speak bett]1 & ) m pleasantness ?an ev] ,i c\ld be=e4 ,all ?is :ile ,i knew n ,jesus ,*ri/1 nei!r did ,i leave my sports & plays4 #bi4 ,b quickly aft] ?is1 ,i fell into company ) "o poor man t made pr(ession ( religion2 :o1 z ,i !n ?\ght1 did talk pleasantly ( ! scriptures1 & ( ! matt]s ( religion2 :]e=e fall+ into "s love & lik+ to :at he said1 ,i betook me to my ,bible1 & began to take great pleasure 9 read+1 b especially ) ! hi/orical "p !re(2 = z = ,paul's ,epi/les1 & su* l scriptures1 ,i c\ld n away ) !m1 be+ z yet ignorant1 ei!r ( ! corruptions ( my nature1 or ( ! want & wor? ( ,jesus ,*ri/ to save me4 #cj4 ,:]e=e ,i fell to "s outw>d re=mation bo? 9 my words & life1 & did set ! comm&m5ts be=e me = my way to heav52 :i* comm&m5ts ,i also did /rive to keep1 &1 z ,i ?\ght1 did keep !m pretty well sometimes1 & !n ,i %\ld h com=t2 yet n[ & !n %\ld break "o1 & s afflict my consci5ce2 b !n ,i %\ld rep5t1 & say1 ,i 0 sorry = x1 & promise ,god to d bett] next "t1 & !re get help aga92 = !n ,i ?\ght ,i pleas$ ,god z well z any man 9 ,engl&4 #ca4 ,?us ,i cont9u$ ab\t a ye>2 all :i* "t our neighb\rs did take me to be a v godly man1 a new & religi\s man1 & did m>vel mu* to see su* a great & fam\s alt]ation 9 my life & mann]s2 & inde$ s x 01 ?\gh yet ,i knew n ,*ri/1 nor grace1 nor fai?1 nor hope2 =1 z ,i h well se5 s9ce1 _h ,i !n di$1 my /ate _h be5 mo/ fe>ful4 #cb4 ,b1 ,i say1 my neighb\rs 7 amaz$ at ?is my great conv]sion1 f prodigi\s pr(an5ess1 to some?+ l a moral life2 & truly1 s !y well might2 = ?is my conv]sion 0 z great1 z = ,tom ( ,be?lehem to become a sob] man4 ,n[ !re=e !y began to praise1 to comm5d1 & to speak well ( me1 bo? to my face1 & beh9d my back4 ,n[ ,i 01 z !y said1 become godly2 n[ ,i 0 become a "r hone/ man4 ,b oh6 :5 ,i und]/ood ^! 7 _! words & op9ions ( me1 x pleas$ me mighty well4 ,=1 ?\gh z yet ,i 0 no?+ b a poor pa9t$ hypocrite1 yet1 ,i lov$ to be talk$ ( z "o t 0 truly godly4 ,i 0 pr\d ( my godl9ess1 & inde$1 ,i did all ,i did1 ei!r to be se5 (1 or to be well spok5 (1 by m53 & ?us ,i cont9u$ = ab\t a twelvemon?1 or m4 #cc4 ,n[ y mu/ "k1 t1 be=e ?is1 ,i _h tak5 mu* delight 9 r++1 b my consci5ce beg9n+ to be t5d]1 ,i ?\ght su* practice 0 b va91 & !re=e =c$ myself to leave x2 yet my m9d hank]$2 :]e=e ,i w\ld g to ! /eeple-h\se1 & look on1 ?\gh ,i dur/ n r+3 b ,i ?\ght ?is did n become religion nei!r2 yet ,i =c$ myself1 & w\ld look on /ill1 b quickly aft]1 ,i began to ?9k1 h[ if "o ( ! bells %\ld fall8 ,!n ,i *ose to /& "u a ma9 beam1 t lay ov]?w>t ! /eeple1 f side to side1 ?9k+ "h ,i might /& sure2 b !n ,i %\ld ?9k aga91 %\ld ! bell fall ) a sw+1 x might fir/ hit ! wall1 & !n1 reb\nd+ ^u me1 might kill me = all ?is beam2 ?is made me /& 9 ! /eeple-door2 & n[1 ?\ght ,i1 ,i am safe en\gh2 = if ! bell %\ld n[ fall1 ,i c slip out beh9d ^! ?ick walls1 & s be pres]v$ not)/&+4 #cd4 ,s aft] ?is ,i w\ld yet g to see !m r+1 b w\ld n g any f>!r ?an ! /eeple-door2 b !n x came into my head1 h[ if ! /eeple itself %\ld fall8 ,& ?is ?\ght 7x may = aught ,i "k7 :5 ,i /ood & look$ on1 did cont9ually s %ake my m9d1 t ,i dur/ n /& at ! /eeple-door any long]1 b 0 =c$ to flee1 = fe> ! /eeple %\ld fall ^u my head4 ,picture3 ,bunyan at ! ,/eeple #ce4 ,ano!r ?+ 01 my danc+2 ,i 0 a full ye> be=e ,i c\ld q leave t2 b all ?is :ile1 :5 ,i ?\ght ,i kept ?is or t comm&m5t1 or did1 by ^w or de$1 any?+ t ,i ?\ght 0 good1 ,i _h great peace 9 my consci5ce1 & %\ld ?9k ) myself1 ,god _c *oose b be n[ pleas$ ) me2 yea1 to relate x 9 m9e own way1 ,i ?\ght no man 9 ,engl& c\ld please ,god bett] ?an ,i4 #cf4 ,b poor wret* z ,i 06 ,i 0 all ?is :ile ignorant ( ,jesus ,*ri/2 & go+ ab\t to e/abli% my own righte\sness2 & _h p]i%$ !re91 _h n ,god 9 m]cy %[$ me m ( my /ate by nature4 #cg4 ,b ^u a day1 ! good provid5ce ( ,god call$ me to ,b$=d1 to "w on my call+2 & 9 "o ( ! /reets ( t t[n1 ,i came :]e !re 7 ?ree or f\r poor wom5 sitt+ at a door1 9 ! sun1 talk+ ab\t ! ?+s ( ,god2 & be+ n[ will+ to he> !m disc\rse1 ,i drew ne> to he> :at !y said1 = ,i 0 n[ a brisk talk] also myself1 9 ! matt]s ( religion2 b ,i may say1 ,i he>d b und]/ood n2 = !y 7 f> above1 out ( my rea*4 ,_! talk 0 ab\t a new bir?1 ! "w ( ,god on _! he>ts1 also h[ !y 7 conv9c$ ( _! mis]able /ate by nature2 !y talk$ h[ ,god _h visit$ _! s\ls ) ,8 love 9 ! ,"l ,jesus1 & ) :at words & promises !y _h be5 refre%$1 com=t$1 & support$1 aga9/ ! temptations ( ! devil3 moreov]1 !y reason$ ( ! sugge/ions & temptations ( ,satan 9 p>ticul>2 & told to ea* o!r1 by :i* !y _h be5 afflict$ & h[ !y 7 borne up "u 8 assaults4 ,!y also disc\rs$ ( _! own wret*$ness ( he>t1 & ( _! unbelief2 & did contemn1 slight & abhor _! own righte\sness1 z fil?y1 & insuffici5t to d !m any good4 ,picture3 ,bunyan li/5s to ! poor wom5 ( ,b$=d #ch4 ,&1 me?\ght1 !y spake z if joy did make !m speak2 !y spake ) su* pleasantness ( scripture language1 & ) su* appe>ance ( grace 9 all !y said1 t !y 7 to me1 z if !y _h f\nd a new _w2 z if !y 7 p t dwelt alone1 & 7 n to be reckon$ among _! neighb\rs4 ,numb4 xxiii4 #i4 #ci4 ,at ?is ,i felt my own he>t began to %ake1 & mi/ru/ my condition to be naught2 = ,i saw t 9 all my ?\ghts ab\t religion & salvation1 ! new-bir? did nev] ent] into my m9d2 nei!r knew ,i ! com=t ( ! ^w & promise1 nor ! deceitfulness & trea*]y ( my own wick$ he>t4 ,z = secret ?\ghts1 ,i took no notice ( !m2 nei!r did ,i und]/& :at ,satan's temptations 71 nor h[ !y 7 to be )/ood1 & resi/$1 etc4 #dj4 ,?us1 !re=e1 :5 ,i _h he>d & consid]$ :at !y said1 ,i left !m1 & w5t ab\t my employm5t aga91 b _! talk & disc\rse w5t ) me2 also my he>t w\ld t>ry ) !m1 = ,i 0 greatly affect$ ) _! words1 bo? because by !m ,i 0 conv9c$ t ,i want$ ! true tok5s ( a truly godly man1 & also because by !m ,i 0 conv9c$ ( ! happy & bless$ condition ( him t 0 su* a "o4 #da4 ,!re=e ,i %\ld (t5 make x my bus9ess to be go+ aga9 & aga9 into ! company ( ^! poor p2 = ,i c\ld n /ay away2 & ! m ,i w5t among/ !m1 ! m ,i did "q my condition2 & z ,i /ill d rememb]1 pres5tly ,i f\nd two ?+s )9 me1 at :i* ,i did sometimes m>vel 7especially consid]+ :at a bl9d1 ignorant1 sordid & ungodly wret* b j be=e ,i 074 ,! "o 0 a v great s(tness & t5d]ness ( he>t1 :i* caus$ me to fall "u ! conviction ( :at by scripture !y ass]t$1 & ! o!r 0 a great b5d+ 9 my m9d1 to a cont9ual m$itat+ on x1 & on all o!r good ?+s1 :i* at any "t ,i he>d or read (4 #db4 ,by ^! ?+s my m9d 0 n[ s turn$1 t x lay l an horse-lee* at ! ve91 /ill cry+ out1 ,give1 ,give1 ,prov4 xxx4 #ae2 yea1 x 0 s fix$ on et]nity1 & on ! ?+s ab\t ! k+dom ( heav5 7t is1 s f> z ,i knew1 ?\gh z yet1 ,god kn[s1 ,i knew b little71 t nei!r pleasures1 nor pr(its1 nor p]suasions1 nor ?reats1 c\ld loose x1 or make x let g its hold2 & ?\gh ,i may speak x ) %ame1 yet x is 9 v de$1 a c]ta9 tru?1 x w\ld !n h be5 z difficult = me to h tak5 my m9d f heav5 to e>?1 z ,i h f\nd x (t5 s9ce1 to get aga9 f e>? to heav54 #dc4 ,"o ?+ ,i may n omit3 ,!re 0 a "y man 9 our t[n1 to :om my he>t be=e 0 knit1 m ?an to any o!r1 b he be+ a mo/ wick$ creature = curs+1 & swe>+1 & :ore+1 ,i n[ %ook him (f1 & =sook 8 company2 b ab\t a qu>t] ( a ye> aft] ,i _h left him1 ,i met him 9 a c]ta9 lane1 & ask$ him h[ he did3 he1 aft] 8 old swe>+ & mad way1 answ]$1 he 0 well4 ,b1 ,h>ry1 said ,i1 :y d y curse & swe> ?us8 ,:at w become ( y1 if y die 9 ?is condition8 ,he answ]$ me 9 a great *afe1 ,:at w\ld ! devil d = company1 if x 7 n = su* z ,i am8 #dd4 ,ab\t ?is "t ,i met ) "s ,rant]s' books1 t 7 put =? by "s ( our c\ntrym51 :i* books 7 also highly 9 e/eem by sev]al old pr(essors2 "s ( ^! ,i read1 b 0 n able to make any judgm5t ab\t !m2 :]e=e z ,i read 9 !m1 & ?\ght ^u !m 7see+ myself unable to judge71 ,i w\ld betake myself to he>ty pray] 9 ?is mann]4 ,o ,"l1 ,i am a fool1 & n able to "k ! tru? f error3 ,"l1 leave me n to my own bl9dness1 ei!r to approve ( or condemn ?is doctr9e2 if x be ( ,god1 let me n despise x2 if x be ( ! devil1 let me n embrace x4 ,"l1 ,i lay my s\l 9 ?is matt] only at ,?y foot1 let me n be deceiv$1 ,i humbly besee* ,!e4 ,i _h "o religi\s intimate companion all ?is :ile1 & t 0 ! poor man ,i spoke ( be=e2 b ab\t ?is "t1 he also turn$ a mo/ devili% ,rant]1 & gave himself up to all mann] ( fil?9ess1 especially uncleanness3 he w\ld also d5y t !re 0 a ,god1 angel1 or _s2 & w\ld laugh at all exhortations to sobriety2 :5 ,i lab\r$ to rebuke 8 wick$ness he w\ld laugh ! m1 & pret5d t he _h gone ?r\gh all religions1 & c\ld nev] light on ! "r till n[4 ,he told me also1 t 9 a little "t ,i %\ld see all pr(essors turn to ! ways ( ! ,rant]s4 ,:]e=e1 abom9at+ ^? curs$ pr9ciples1 ,i left 8 company =?)1 & became to him z great a /rang]1 z ,i _h be5 be=e a famili>4 #de4 ,nei!r 0 ?is man only a temptation to me1 b my call+ ly+ 9 ! c\ntry1 ,i happ5$ to light into sev]al p's company1 :o ?\gh /rict 9 religion =m]ly1 yet 7 also swept away by ^! ,rant]s4 ,^! w\ld also talk ) me ( _! ways1 & condemn me z legal & d>k2 pret5d+ t !y only _h atta9$ to p]fection1 t c\ld d :at !y w\ld & n s94 ,oh6 ^! temptations 7 suitable to my fle%1 ,i be+ b a "y man & my nature 9 its prime2 b ,god1 :o _h1 z ,i hop$1 design$ me = bett] ?+s1 kept me 9 ! fe> ( ,8 "n1 & did n suff] me to accept su* curs$ pr9ciples4 ,& bless$ be ,god1 ,:o put x into my he>t to cry to ,him to be kept & direct$1 /ill di/ru/+ my own wisdom2 = ,i h s9ce se5 ev5 ! effects ( t pray]1 9 ,8 pres]v+ me1 n only f ,rant+ errors1 b f ^? also t h sprung up s9ce4 ,! ,bible 0 preci\s to me 9 ^? days4 #df4 ,& n[ me?\ght1 ,i began to look into ! ,bible ) new eyes1 & read z ,i nev] did be=e1 & especially ! epi/les ( ! apo/le ,/ ,paul 7 sweet & pleasant to me2 & inde$ ,i 0 !n nev] out ( ! ,bible1 ei!r by read+ or m$itation2 /ill cry+ out to ,god1 t ,i might "k ! tru?1 & way to heav5 & glory4 #dg4 ,& z ,i w5t on & read1 ,i light$ ^u t passage1 ,to "o is giv51 by ! ,_s1 ! ^w ( wisdom2 to ano!r ! ^w k by ! same ,_s2 & to ano!r fai?1 etc4 #a ,cor4 xii4 ,& ?\gh1 z ,i h s9ce se51 t by ?is scripture ! ,holy ,gho/ int5ds1 9 special1 ?+s extraord9>y1 yet on me x did !n fa/5 ) conviction1 t ,i did want ?+s ord9>y1 ev5 t und]/&+ & wisdom t o!r ,*ri/ians _h4 ,on ?is ^w ,i mus$1 & c\ld n tell :at to d1 especially ?is ^w #8,fai?' put me to x1 = ,i c\ld n help x1 b sometimes mu/ "q1 :e!r ,i _h any fai?1 or no2 b ,i 0 loa? to conclude1 ,i _h no fai?2 = if ,i d s1 ?\ght ,i1 !n ,i %all c\nt myself a v ca/-away inde$4 #dh4 ,no1 said ,i1 ) myself1 ?\gh ,i am conv9c$ t ,i am an ignorant sot1 & t ,i want ^? bless$ gifts ( k & und]/&+ t o!r p h2 yet at a v5ture ,i w conclude1 ,i am n altoge!r fai?less1 ?\gh ,i "k n :at fai? is2 = x 0 %ewn me1 & t too 7z ,i h se5 s9ce7 by ,satan1 t ^? :o conclude !mselves 9 a fai?less /ate1 h nei!r re/ nor quiet 9 _! s\ls2 & ,i 0 loa? to fall q into despair4 #di4 ,:]e=e by ?is sugge/ion ,i 01 = a :ile1 made afraid to see my want ( fai?2 b ,god w\ld n suff] me ?us to undo & de/roy my s\l1 b did cont9ually1 aga9/ ?is my sad & bl9d conclusion1 create /ill )9 me su* suppositions1 insomu* t ,i c\ld n re/ cont5t1 until ,i did n[ come to "s c]ta9 k1 :e!r ,i _h fai? or no1 ?is always runn+ 9 my m9d1 ,b h[ if y want fai? inde$8 ,b h[ c y tell y h fai?8 ,& besides1 ,i saw = c]ta91 if ,i _h n1 ,i 0 sure to p]i% = ev]4 #ej4 ,s t ?\gh ,i endeav\r$ at ! fir/ to look ov] ! bus9ess ( ,fai?1 yet 9 a little "t1 ,i bett] consid]+ ! matt]1 0 will+ to put myself ^u ! trial :e!r ,i _h fai? or no4 ,b alas1 poor wret*6 s ignorant & bruti% 0 ,i1 t ,i knew n to ?is day no m h[ to d x1 ?an ,i "k h[ to beg9 & accompli% t r>e & curi\s piece ( art1 :i* ,i nev] yet saw or consid]$4 #ea4 ,:]e=e :ile ,i 0 ?us consid]+1 & be+ put to my plunge ab\t x 7= y mu/ "k1 t z yet ,i _h 9 ?is matt] brok5 my m9d to no man1 only did he> & consid]71 ! tempt] came 9 ) ?is delusion1 ,t !re 0 no way = me to "k ,i _h fai?1 b by try+ to "w "s miracle2 urg+ ^? scriptures t seem to look t way1 = ! en=c+ & /r5g!n+ 8 temptation4 ,nay1 "o day1 z ,i 0 betwe5 ,el/[ & ,b$=d1 ! temptation 0 hot ^u me1 to try if ,i _h fai?1 by do+ "s miracle2 :i* miracle at ?is "t 0 ?is1 ,i mu/ say to ! puddles t 7 9 ! horsepads1 ,be dry2 & to ! dry places1 ,be y puddles3 & truly "o "t ,i 0 go+ to say s inde$2 b j z ,i 0 ab\t to speak1 ?is ?\ght came into my m9d2 ,b g "u yond] h$ge & pray fir/1 t ,god w\ld make y able4 ,b :5 ,i _h conclud$ to pray1 ?is came hot ^u me2 ,t if ,i pray$1 & came aga9 & tri$ to d x1 & yet did no?+ not)/&+1 !n to be sure ,i _h no fai?1 b 0 a ca/-away1 & lo/2 nay1 ?\ght ,i1 if x be s1 ,i w n try yet1 b w /ay a little long]4 #eb4 ,s ,i cont9u$ at a great loss2 = ,i ?\ght1 if !y only _h fai?1 :i* c\ld d s wond]ful ?+s1 !n ,i conclud$1 t = ! pres5t ,i nei!r _h x1 nor yet = ! "t to come1 7 ev] l to h x4 ,?us ,i 0 toss$ betwixt ! devil & my own ignorance1 & s p]plex$1 especially at "s times1 t ,i c\ld n tell :at to d4 #ec4 ,ab\t ?is "t1 ! /ate & happ9ess ( ^! poor p at ,b$=d 0 ?us1 9 a k9d ( a vision1 pres5t$ to me1 ,i saw z if !y 7 on ! sunny side ( "s high m\nta91 !re refre%+ !mselves ) ! pleasant beams ( ! sun1 :ile ,i 0 %iv]+ & %r9k+ 9 ! cold1 afflict$ ) fro/1 sn[ & d>k cl\ds3 me?\ght also1 betwixt me & !m1 ,i saw a wall t did compass ab\t ?is m\nta91 n[ ?r\gh ?is wall my s\l did greatly desire to pass2 conclud+1 t if ,i c\ld1 ,i w\ld ev5 g into ! v mid/ ( !m1 & !re also com=t myself ) ! heat ( _! sun4 #ed4 ,ab\t ?is wall ,i be?\ght myself1 to g aga9 & aga91 /ill pry+ z ,i w5t1 to see if ,i c\ld f9d "s way or passage1 by :i* ,i might ent] !re93 b none c\ld ,i f9d = "s "t3 at ! la/1 ,i saw1 z x 71 a n>r[ gap1 l a little door-way 9 ! wall1 ?r\gh :i* ,i attempt$ to pass3 ,n[ ! passage be+ v /rait & n>r[1 ,i made _m (f]s to get 91 b all 9 va91 ev5 until ,i 0 well-nigh q beat out1 by /riv+ to get 92 at la/1 ) great /riv+1 me?\ght ,i at fir/ did get 9 my head1 & aft] t1 by a sidel+ /riv+1 my %\ld]s1 & my :ole body2 !n ,i 0 exce$+ glad1 w5t & sat d[n 9 ! mid/ ( !m1 & s 0 com=t$ ) ! light & heat ( _! sun4 #ee4 ,n[ ?is m\nta91 & wall1 etc41 0 ?us made out to me3 ,! m\nta9 signifi$ ! *ur* ( ! liv+ ,god3 ! sun t %one !reon1 ! com=table %9+ ( ,8 m]ciful face on !m t 7 !re92 ! wall ,i ?\ght 0 ! ^w1 t did make sep>ation betwe5 ! ,*ri/ians & ! _w2 & ! gap :i* 0 9 ! wall1 ,i ?\ght1 0 ,jesus ,*ri/1 ,:o is ! way to ,god ! ,fa!r4 ,john xiv4 #f2 ,matt4 vii4 #ad4 ,b =asmu* z ! passage 0 wond]ful n>r[1 ev5 s n>r[ t ,i c\ld n1 b ) great difficulty1 ent] 9 !reat1 x %[$ me1 t none c\ld ent] into life1 b ^? t 7 9 d[nright e>ne/1 & unless also !y left t wick$ _w beh9d !m2 = "h 0 only room = body & s\l1 b n = body & s\l & s94 #ef4 ,?is resemblance abode ^u my _s _m days2 all :i* "t ,i saw myself 9 a =lorn & sad condition1 b yet 0 provok$ to a vehem5t hung] & desire to be "o ( t numb] t did sit 9 ! sun%9e3 ,n[ also ,i %\ld pray :]ev] ,i 03 :e!r at home or abroad2 9 h\se or field2 & w\ld also (t51 ) lift+ up ( he>t1 s+ t ( ! fifty-fir/ ,psalm1 ,o ,"l1 consid] my di/ress2 = z yet ,i knew n :]e ,i 04 #eg4 ,nei!r z yet c\ld ,i atta9 to any com=table p]suasion t ,i _h fai? 9 ,*ri/2 b in/ead ( hav+ satisfaction "h1 ,i began to f9d my s\l to be assault$ ) fre% d\bts ab\t my future happ9ess2 especially ) su* z ^!1 :e!r ,i 0 elect$8 ,b h[1 if ! day ( grace %\ld n[ be pa/ & gone8 #eh4 ,by ^! two temptations ,i 0 v mu* afflict$ & disquiet$2 sometimes by "o1 & sometimes by ! o!r ( !m4 ,& fir/1 to speak ( t ab\t my que/ion+ my election1 ,i f\nd at ?is "t1 t ?\gh ,i 0 9 a flame to f9d ! way to heav5 & glory1 & ?\gh no?+ c\ld beat me (f f ?is1 yet ?is "q did s (f5d & disc\rage me1 t ,i 01 especially sometimes1 z if ! v /r5g? ( my body also _h be5 tak5 away by ! =ce & p[] !re(4 ,?is scripture did also seem to me to trample ^u all my desires2 ,x is n ( him t wille?1 nor ( him t runne?2 b ( ,god t %[e? m]cy4 ,rom4 ix4 #af4 #ei4 ,) ?is scripture ,i c\ld n tell :at to d3 = ,i evid5tly saw1 unless t ! great ,god1 ( ,8 inf9ite grace & b\nty1 _h volunt>ily *os5 me to be a vessel ( m]cy1 ?\gh ,i %\ld desire1 & long1 & lab\r until my he>t did break1 no good c\ld come ( x4 ,!re=e ?is w\ld /ick ) me1 ,h[ c y tell t y are elect$8 ,& :at if y %\ld n8 ,h[ !n8 #fj4 ,o ,"l1 ?\ght ,i1 :at if ,i %\ld n inde$8 ,x may be y are n1 said ! ,tempt]2 x may be s inde$1 ?\ght ,i4 ,:y !n1 said ,satan1 y _h z good leave (f1 & /rive no f>!r2 = if inde$1 y %\ld n be elect$ & *os5 ( ,god1 !re is no talk ( y\r be+ sav$2 ,= x is n ( him t wille?1 nor ( him t runne?2 b ( ,god t %[e? m]cy4 #fa4 ,by ^! ?+s ,i 0 driv5 to my wits' end1 n kn[+ :at to say1 or h[ to answ] ^! temptations3 7inde$1 ,i little ?\ght t ,satan _h ?us assault$ me1 b t r x 0 my own prud5ce ?us to />t ! "q73 = t ! elect only atta9$ et]nal life2 t1 ,i )\t scruple did he>tily close )al2 b t myself 0 "o ( !m1 !re lay ! "q4 #fb4 ,?us !re=e1 = sev]al days1 ,i 0 greatly assault$ & p]plex$1 & 0 (t51 :5 ,i h be5 walk+1 ready to s9k :]e ,i w5t1 ) fa9tness 9 my m9d2 b "o day1 aft] ,i _h be5 s _m weeks oppress$ & ca/ d[n !re) z ,i 0 n[ q giv+ up ! gho/ ( all my hopes ( ev] atta9+ life1 t s5t5ce fell ) weight ^u my _s1 ,look at ! g5]ations ( old1 & see2 did ev] any tru/ 9 ,god1 & 7 conf\nd$8 #fc4 ,at :i* ,i 0 greatly light5$1 & enc\rag$ 9 my s\l2 = ?us1 at t v in/ant1 x 0 exp\nd$ to me3 ,beg9 at ! beg9n+ ( ,g5esis1 & read to ! end ( ! ,revelations1 & see if y c f9d1 t !re 7 ev] any t tru/$ 9 ! ,"l1 & 7 conf\nd$4 ,s com+ home1 ,i pres5tly w5t to my ,bible1 to see if ,i c\ld f9d t say+1 n d\bt+ b to f9d x pres5tly2 = x 0 s fre%1 & ) su* /r5g? & com=t on my _s1 t x 0 z if x talk$ ) me4 #fd4 ,well1 ,i look$1 b ,i f\nd x n2 only x abode ^u me3 ,!n did ,i ask fir/ ?is good man1 & !n ano!r1 if !y knew :]e x 01 b !y knew no su* place4 ,at ?is ,i wond]$1 t su* a s5t5ce %\ld s sudd5ly1 & ) su* com=t & /r5g?1 seize1 & abide ^u my he>t2 & yet t none c\ld f9d x 7= ,i d\bt$ n b t x 0 9 holy scripture74 #fe4 ,?us ,i cont9u$ above a ye>1 & c\ld n f9d ! place2 b at la/1 ca/+ my eye ^u ! ,apocrypha books1 ,i f\nd x 9 ,ecclesia/icus1 ,eccles4 ii4 #aj4 ,?is1 at ! fir/1 did some:at daunt me2 b because by ?is "t ,i _h got m exp]i5ce ( ! love & k9dness ( ,god1 x tr\bl$ me ! less1 especially :5 ,i consid]$ t ?\gh x 0 n 9 ^? texts t we call holy & canonical2 yet =asmu* z ?is s5t5ce 0 ! sum & sub/ance ( _m ( ! promises1 x 0 my duty to take ! com=t ( x2 & ,i bless ,god = t ^w1 = x 0 ( ,god to me3 t ^w do? /ill at times %9e be=e my face4 #ff4 ,aft] ?is1 t o!r d\bt did come ) /r5g? ^u me1 ,b h[ if ! day ( grace %\ld be pa/ & gone8 ,h[ if y h ov]/ood ! "t ( m]cy8 ,n[ ,i rememb] t "o day1 z ,i 0 walk+ 9 ! c\ntry1 ,i 0 mu* 9 ! ?\ghts ( ?is1 ,b h[ if ! day ( grace is pa/8 ,& to aggravate my tr\ble1 ! ,tempt] pres5t$ to my m9d ^? good p ( ,b$=d1 & sugge/$ ?us unto me1 t ^! be+ conv]t$ already1 !y 7 all t ,god w\ld save 9 ^? p>ts2 & t ,i came too late1 = ^! _h got ! bless+ be=e ,i came4 #fg4 ,n[ ,i 0 9 great di/ress1 ?9k+ 9 v de$ t ?is might well be s2 :]e=e ,i w5t up & d[n1 bemoan+ my sad condition2 c\nt+ myself f> worse ?an a ?\s& fools = /&+ (f ?us long1 & sp5d+ s _m ye>s 9 s9 z ,i _h done2 /ill cry+ out1 ,oh6 t ,i _h turn$ soon]6 ,oh6 t ,i _h turn$ sev5 ye>s ago6 ,x made me also angry ) myself1 to ?9k t ,i %\ld h no m wit1 b to trifle away my "t1 till my s\l & heav5 7 lo/4 #fh4 ,b :5 ,i _h be5 long vex$ ) ?is fe>1 & 0 sc>ce able to take "o /ep m1 j ab\t ! same place :]e ,i receiv$ my o!r enc\ragem5t1 ^! words broke 9 ^u my m9d1 ,compel !m to come 91 t my h\se may be fill$2 & yet !re is room4 ,luke xiv4 #bb1 #bc4 ,^! words1 b especially ^?1 ,& yet !re is room1 7 sweet words to me2 = truly ,i ?\ght t by !m ,i saw !re 0 place en\gh 9 heav5 = me2 & moreov]1 t :5 ! ,"l ,jesus did speak ^! words1 ,he !n did ?9k ( me3 & t ,he kn[+ t ! "t w\ld come1 t ,i %\ld be afflict$ ) fe>1 t !re 0 no place left = me 9 ,8 bosom1 did be=e speak ?is ^w1 & leave x ^u record1 t ,i might f9d help !reby aga9/ ?is vile temptation4 ,?is ,i !n v]ily believ$4 #fi4 ,9 ! light & enc\ragem5t ( ?is ^w ,i w5t a pretty :ile2 & ! com=t 0 ! m1 :5 ,i ?\ght t ! ,"l ,jesus %\ld ?9k on me s long ago1 & t ,he %\ld speak ^? words on purpose = my sake2 = ,i did ?9k v]ily1 t ,he did on purpose speak !m to enc\rage me )al4 #gj4 ,b ,i 0 n )\t my temptations to g back aga92 temptations ,i say1 bo? f ,satan1 m9e own he>t1 & c>nal acqua9tance2 b ,i ?ank ,god ^! 7 outweigh$ by t s\nd s5se ( dea?1 & ( ! day ( judgm5t1 :i* abode1 z x 71 cont9ually 9 my view3 ,i w\ld (t5 also ?9k on ,nebu*adnezz>2 ( :om x is said1 ,he _h giv5 him all ! k+doms ( ! e>?4 ,dan4 v4 #ah1 #ai4 ,yet1 ?\ght ,i1 if ?is great man _h all 8 portion 9 ?is _w1 "o h\r 9 hell-fire w\ld make him =get all4 ,:i* consid]ation 0 a great help to me4 #ga4 ,i 0 also made1 ab\t ?is "t1 to see some?+ conc]n+ ! bea/s t ,moses c\nt$ clean & unclean3 ,i ?\ght ^? bea/s 7 types ( m52 ! clean1 types ( !m t 7 ! p ( ,god2 b ! unclean1 types ( su* z 7 ! *ildr5 ( ! wick$ "o4 ,n[ ,i read1 t ! clean bea/s *ew$ ! cud2 t is1 ?\ght ,i1 !y %[ u1 we mu/ fe$ ^u ! ^w ( ,god3 !y also p>t$ ! ho(4 ,i ?\ght t signifi$1 we mu/ "p1 if we w\ld be sav$1 ) ! ways ( ungodly m54 ,& also1 9 fur!r read+ ab\t !m1 ,i f\nd1 t ?\gh we did *ew ! cud1 z ! h>e2 yet if we walk$ ) claws1 l a dog2 or if we did "p ! ho(1 l ! sw9e1 yet if we did n *ew ! cud1 z ! %eep1 we 7 /ill1 = all t1 b unclean3 = ,i ?\ght ! h>e to be a type ( ^? t talk ( ! ^w1 yet walk 9 ! ways ( s92 & t ! sw9e 0 l him t p>t$ ) 8 outw>d pollutions1 b /ill wante? ! ^w ( fai?1 )\t :i* !re c\ld be no way ( salvation1 let a man be nev] s dev\t4 ,deut4 xiv4 ,aft] ?is1 ,i f\nd by read+ ! ^w1 t ^? t mu/ be glorifi$ ) ,*ri/ 9 ano!r _w mu/ be call$ by ,him "h2 call$ to ! p>tak+ ( a %>e 9 ,8 ^w & righte\sness1 & to ! com=ts & fir/-fruits ( ,8 ,_s2 & to a peculi> int]e/ 9 all ^? heav5ly ?+s1 :i* d inde$ prep>e ! s\l = t re/1 & h\se ( glory1 :i* is 9 heav5 above4 #gb4 ,"h aga9 ,i 0 at a v ,i great /&1 n kn[+ :at to d1 fe>+ ,i 0 n call$2 =1 ?\ght ,i1 if ,i be n call$1 :at !n c d me good8 ,none b ^? :o are effectually call$ inh]it ! k+dom ( heav54 ,b oh6 h[ ,i n[ lov$ ^? words t spake ( a ,*ri/ian's call+6 z :5 ! ,"l said to "o1 ,foll[ ,me2 & to ano!r1 ,come aft] ,me3 & oh1 ?\ght ,i1 t ,he w\ld say s to me too3 h[ gladly w\ld ,i run aft] ,him6 #gc4 ,i _c n[ express ) :at long+s & brea?+s 9 my s\l1 ,i cri$ to ,*ri/ to call me4 ,?us ,i cont9u$ = a "t1 all on a flame to be conv]t$ to ,jesus ,*ri/2 & did also see at t day1 su* glory 9 a conv]t$ /ate1 t ,i c\ld n be cont5t$ )\t a %>e !re94 ,gold6 c\ld x h be5 gott5 = gold1 :at w\ld ,i h giv5 = x8 ,_h ,i _h a :ole _w1 x _h all gone t5 ?\s& times ov] = ?is1 t my s\l might h be5 9 a conv]t$ /ate4 #gd4 ,h[ lovely n[ 0 e "o 9 my eyes1 t ,i ?\ght to be conv]t$ m5 & wom54 ,!y %one1 !y walk$ l a p t c>ri$ ! broad seal ( heav5 ab\t !m4 ,oh6 ,i saw ! lot 0 fall5 to !m 9 pleasant places1 & !y _h a goodly h]itage4 ,psalm xvi4 ,b t :i* made me sick1 0 t ( ,*ri/1 9 ,/ ,m>k1 ,he goe? up into a m\nta91 & calle? unto ,him :om ,he w\ld1 & !y came unto ,him4 ,m>k iii4 #ac4 #ge4 ,?is scripture made me fa9t & fe>1 yet x k9dl$ fire 9 my s\l4 ,t :i* made me fe>1 0 ?is2 le/ ,*ri/ %\ld h no lik+ to me1 = ,he call$ :om ,he w\ld4 ,b oh6 ! glory t ,i saw 9 t condition1 did /ill s engage my he>t1 t ,i c\ld seldom read ( any t ,*ri/ did call1 b ,i pres5tly wi%$1 ,w\ld ,i _h be5 9 _! clo!s1 w\ld ,i _h be5 born ,pet]2 w\ld ,i _h be5 born ,john2 or1 w\ld ,i _h be5 by & _h he>d ,him :5 ,he call$ !m1 h[ w\ld ,i h cri$1 ,o ,"l1 call me also6 ,b1 oh6 ,i fe>$ ,he w\ld n call me4 #gf4 ,& truly1 ! ,"l let me g ?us _m mon?s toge!r1 & %ew$ me no?+2 ei!r t ,i 0 already1 or %\ld be call$ h]eaft]3 b at la/ aft] mu* "t sp5t1 & _m groans to ,god1 t ,i might be made p>tak] ( ! holy & heav5ly call+2 t ^w came 9 ^u me3 ,i w cleanse _! blood1 t ,i h n cleans$1 = ! ,"l dwelle? 9 ,zion4 ,joel iii4 #ba4 ,^! words ,i ?\ght 7 s5t to enc\rage me to wait /ill ^u ,god2 & signifi$ unto me1 t if ,i 7 n already1 yet "t might come1 ,i might be 9 tru? conv]t$ unto ,*ri/4 #gg4 ,ab\t ?is "t ,i began to break my m9d to ^? poor p 9 ,b$=d1 & to tell !m my condition2 :i* :5 !y _h he>d1 !y told ,mr ,gif=d ( me1 :o himself also took occasion to talk ) me1 & 0 will+ to be well p]suad$ ( me1 ?\gh ,i ?9k f little gr\nds3 b he invit$ me to 8 h\se1 :]e ,i %\ld he> him conf] ) o!rs1 ab\t ! deal+s ( ,god ) _! s\ls2 f all :i* ,i /ill receiv$ m conviction1 & f t "t began to see some?+ ( ! vanity & inw>d wret*$ness ( my wick$ he>t2 = z yet ,i knew no great matt] !re92 b n[ x began to be discov]$ unto me1 & also to "w at t rate z x nev] did be=e4 ,n[ ,i evid5tly f\nd1 t lu/s & corruptions put =? !mselves )9 me1 9 wick$ ?\ghts & desires1 :i* ,i did n reg>d be=e2 my desires also = heav5 & life began to fail2 ,i f\nd also1 t :]eas be=e my s\l 0 full ( long+ aft] ,god1 n[ x began to hank] aft] e fooli% vanity2 yea1 my he>t w\ld n be mov$ to m9d t :i* 0 good2 x began to be c>eless1 bo? ( my s\l & heav52 x w\ld n[ cont9ually hang back1 bo? to1 & 9 e duty2 & 0 z a clog on ! leg ( a bird1 to h9d] me f fly+4 #gh4 ,nay1 ?\ght ,i1 n[ ,i gr[ worse & worse3 n[ ,i am f>!r f conv]sion ?an ev] ,i 0 be=e4 ,:]e=e ,i began to s9k greatly 9 my s\l1 & began to ent]ta9 su* disc\ragem5t 9 my he>t1 z laid me z l[ z hell4 ,if n[ ,i %\ld h burn$ at ! /ake1 ,i c\ld n believe t ,*ri/ _h love = me3 alas6 ,i c\ld nei!r he> ,him1 nor see ,him1 nor feel ,him1 nor fav\r any ( ,8 ?+s2 ,i 0 driv5 z ) a tempe/1 my he>t w\ld be unclean1 & ! ,canaanites w\ld dwell 9 ! l&4 #gi4 ,sometimes ,i w\ld tell my condition to ! p ( ,god2 :i*1 :5 !y he>d1 !y w\ld pity me1 & w\ld tell me ( ! promises2 b !y _h z good h told me1 t ,i mu/ rea* ! sun ) my f+]1 z h bidd5 me receive or rely ^u ! promises3 & z soon ,i %\ld h done x4 ,all my s5se & feel+ 7 aga9/ me2 & ,i saw ,i _h an he>t t w\ld s91 & t lay "u a law t w\ld condemn4 #hj4 ,^! ?+s h (t5 made me ?9k ( ! *ild :i* ! fa!r br\ght to ,*ri/1 :o1 :ile he 0 yet com+ to ,him1 0 ?r[n d[n by ! devil1 & also s r5t & torn by him1 t he lay d[n & wall[$1 foam+4 ,luke ix4 #db2 ,m>k ix4 #bj4 #ha4 ,fur!r1 9 ^! days1 ,i w\ld f9d my he>t to %ut itself up aga9/ ! ,"l1 & aga9/ ,8 holy ^w3 ,i h f\nd my unbelief to set1 z x 71 ! %\ld] to ! door1 to keep ,him out2 & t too ev5 !n1 :5 ,i h ) _m a bitt] sigh1 cri$1 ,good ,"l1 break x op53 ,"l1 break ^! gates ( brass1 & cut ^! b>s ( iron asund]4 ,psalm cvii4 #af4 ,yet t ^w w\ld sometimes create 9 my he>t a peaceable pause1 ,i gird$ !e1 ?\gh ?\ ha/ n kn[n ,me4 ,isaiah xlv4 #e4 #hb4 ,b all ?is :ile1 z to ! act ( s9n+1 ,i 0 nev] m t5d] ?an n[3 my h9d] p>ts 7 inw>d3 ,i dur/ n take a p9 or /ick1 ?\gh b s big z a /raw2 = my consci5ce n[ 0 sore1 & w\ld sm>t at e t\*3 ,i c\ld n n[ tell h[ to speak my words1 = fe> ,i %\ld misplace !m4 ,oh1 h[ g+]ly did ,i !n g1 9 all ,i did or said6 ,i f\nd myself z on a miry bog1 t %ook if ,i did b /ir1 & 01 z !re1 left bo? ( ,god & ,*ri/1 & ! ,_s1 & all good ?+s4 #hc4 ,b ,i obs]v$1 ?\gh ,i 0 su* a great s9n] be=e conv]sion1 yet ,god nev] mu* *>g$ ! guilt ( ! s9s ( my ignorance ^u me2 only ,he %[$ me1 ,i 0 lo/ if ,i _h n ,*ri/1 because ,i _h be5 a s9n]3 ,i saw t ,i want$ a p]fect righte\sness to pres5t me )\t fault be=e ,god1 & ?is righte\sness 0 no :]e to be f\nd1 b 9 ! ,p]son ( ,jesus ,*ri/4 #hd4 ,b my orig9al & inw>d pollution2 ,t1 t 0 my plague & affliction1 t ,i saw at a dreadful rate1 always putt+ =? itself )9 me2 t ,i _h ! guilt (1 to amazem5t2 by reason ( t1 ,i 0 m loa?some 9 m9e own eyes ?an 0 a toad1 & ,i ?\ght ,i 0 s 9 ,god's eyes too3 ,s9 & corruption1 ,i said1 w\ld z naturally bubble out ( my he>t1 z wat] w\ld bubble out ( a f\nta93 ,i ?\ght n[1 t e "o _h a bett] he>t ?an ,i _h2 ,i c\ld h *ang$ he>t ) any body2 ,i ?\ght none b ! devil himself c\ld equalise me = inw>d wick$ness & pollution ( m9d4 ,i fell !re=e at ! sight ( my own vil5ess deeply into despair2 = ,i conclud$1 t ?is condition t ,i 0 91 c\ld n /& ) a /ate ( grace4 ,sure1 ?\ght ,i1 ,i am =sak5 ( ,god2 sure1 ,i am giv5 up to ! devil1 & to a reprobate m9d3 & ?us ,i cont9u$ a long :ile1 ev5 = "s ye>s toge!r4 #he4 ,:ile ,i 0 ?us afflict$ ) ! fe>s ( my own damnation1 !re 7 two ?+s w\ld make me wond]2 ! "o 01 :5 ,i saw old p hunt+ aft] ! ?+s ( ?is life1 z if !y %\ld live "h always3 ! o!r 01 :5 ,i f\nd pr(essors mu* di/ress$ & ca/ d[n1 :5 !y met ) outw>d losses2 z ( husb&1 wife1 *ild1 etc4 ,"l1 ?\ght ,i1 :at a-d is "h ab\t su* little ?+s z ^!6 ,:at seek+ aft] c>nal ?+s1 by "s1 & :at grief 9 o!rs = ! loss ( !m6 if !y s mu* lab\r aft]1 & %$ s _m te>s = ! ?+s ( ?is pres5t life1 h[ am ,i to be bemoan$1 piti$1 & pray$ =6 ,my s\l is dy+1 my s\l is damn+4 ,7 my s\l b 9 a good condition1 & 7 ,i b sure ( x1 ah6 h[ ri* %\ld ,i e/eem myself1 ?\gh bless$ b ) bread & wat]6 ,i %\ld c\nt ^? b small afflictions1 & %\ld be> !m z little bur!ns4 ,a w\nd$ _s :o c be>6 #hf4 ,& ?\gh ,i 0 mu* tr\bl$1 & toss$1 & afflict$1 ) ! sight & s5se & t]ror ( my own wick$ness1 yet ,i 0 afraid to let ?is sight & s5se g q (f my m9d3 t unless guilt ( consci5ce 0 tak5 (f ! "r way1 t is1 by ! blood ( ,*ri/ a man grew r worse = ! loss ( 8 tr\ble ( m9d1 ?an bett]4 ,:]e=e1 if my guilt lay h>d ^u me1 !n ,i %\ld cry t ! blood ( ,*ri/ might take x (f3 & if x 0 go+ (f )\t x 7= ! s5se ( s9 w\ld be sometimes z if x w\ld die1 & g q away71 !n ,i w\ld also /rive to fet* x ^u my he>t aga91 by br++ ! puni%m5t ( s9 9 hell fire ^u my _s2 & %\ld cry1 ,"l1 let x n g (f my he>t1 b ! "r way1 by ! blood ( ,*ri/1 & ! application ( ,?y m]cy1 ?r\gh ,him1 to my s\l1 = t scripture lay mu* ^u me1 )\t %$d+ ( blood is no remission4 ,heb4 ix4 #bb4 ,& t :i* made me ! m afraid ( ?is1 01 because ,i _h se5 "s1 :o ?\gh :5 !y 7 "u w\nds ( consci5ce1 w\ld cry & pray2 yet seek+ r pres5t ease f _! tr\ble1 ?an p>don = _! s91 c>$ n h[ !y lo/ _! guilt1 s !y got x out ( _! m9d3 n[1 hav+ got x (f ! wrong way1 x 0 n sanctifi$ unto !m2 b !y grew h>d] & bl9d]1 & m wick$ aft] _! tr\ble4 ,?is made me afraid1 & made me cry to ,god ! m1 t x might n be s ) me4 #hg4 ,& n[ ,i 0 sorry t ,god _h made me man1 = ,i fe>$ ,i 0 a reprobate2 ,i c\nt$ man z unconv]t$1 ! mo/ doleful ( all ! creatures4 ,?us be+ afflict$ & toss$ ab\t my sad condition1 ,i c\nt$ myself alone1 & above ! mo/ ( m5 unbless$4 #hh4 ,yea1 ,i ?\ght x impossible t ev] ,i %\ld atta9 to s mu* goodness ( he>t1 z to ?ank ,god t ,he _h made me a man4 ,man inde$ is ! mo/ noble by creation1 ( all creatures 9 ! visible _w2 b by s9 he has made himself ! mo/ ignoble4 ,! bea/s1 birds1 fi%es1 etc4 ,i bless$ _! condition2 = !y _h n a s9ful nature2 !y 7 n obnoxi\s to ! wra? ( ,god2 !y 7 n to g to hell-fire aft] dea?2 ,i c\ld !re=e h rejoic$1 _h my condition be5 z any ( !irs4 #hi4 ,9 ?is condition ,i w5t a great :ile1 b :5 com=t+ "t 0 come1 ,i he>d "o prea* a s]mon on ^! words 9 ! song1 ,song iv4 #a1 ,behold1 ?\ art fair1 my love1 behold1 ?\ art fair4 ,b at t "t he made ^! two words1 my love1 8 *ief & subject matt]3 f :i*1 aft] he _h a little op5$ ! text1 he obs]v$ ^! sev]al conclusions3 #a4 ,t ! *ur*1 & s e sav$ s\l1 is ,*ri/'s love1 :5 loveless4 #b4 ,*ri/'s love )\t a cause4 #c4 ,*ri/'s love1 :5 hat$ ( ! _w4 #d4 ,*ri/'s love1 :5 "u temptation & "u de/ruction4 #e4 ,*ri/'s love1 f fir/ to la/4 #ij4 ,b ,i got no?+ by :at he said at pres5t2 only :5 he came to ! application ( ! f\r? p>ticul>1 ?is 0 ! ^w he said2 ,if x be s1 t ! sav$ s\l is ,*ri/'s love1 :5 "u temptation & des]tion2 !n poor tempt$ s\l1 :5 ?\ art assault$1 & afflict$ ) temptations1 & ! hid+s ( ,god's face1 yet ?9k on ^! two words1 #8,my love1' /ill4 #ia4 ,s z ,i 0 go+ home1 ^! words came aga9 into my ?\ghts2 & ,i well rememb]1 z !y came 91 ,i said ?us 9 my he>t1 ,:at %all ,i get by ?9k+ on ^! two words8 ,?is ?\ght _h no soon] pass$ ?r\gh my he>t1 b ^! words began ?us to k9dle 9 my _s1 ,?\ art ,my ,love1 ?\ art ,my ,dove1 tw5ty times toge!r2 & /ill z !y ran 9 my m9d1 !y wax$ /rong] & w>m]1 & began to make me look up2 b be+ z yet1 betwe5 hope & fe>1 ,i /ill repli$ 9 my he>t1 ,b is x true1 b is x true8 ,at :i* t s5t5ce fell ^u me1 ,he wi/ n t x 0 true1 :i* 0 done by ! ,angel4 ,acts xii4 #i4 #ib4 ,!n ,i began to give place to ! ^w :i* ) p[]1 did ov] & ov] make ?is joyful s\nd )9 my s\l1 #8,?\ art my ,love1 ?\ art ,my ,love1 & no?+ %all sep>ate !e f ,my ,love4 ,& ) t my he>t 0 fill$ full ( com=t & hope1 & n[ ,i c\ld believe t my s9s %\ld be =giv5 me2 yea1 ,i 0 n[ s tak5 ) ! love & m]cy ( ,god1 t ,i rememb] ,i c\ld n tell h[ to conta9 till ,i got home3 ,i ?\ght ,i c\ld h spok5 ( ,8 love1 & h told ( ,8 m]cy to me1 ev5 to ! v cr[s1 t sat ^u ! pl\gh$ l&s be=e me1 _h !y be5 capable to h und]/ood me3 :]e=e ,i said 9 my s\l1 ) mu* gladness1 ,well1 ,i w\ld ,i _h a p5 & ink "h1 ,i w\ld write ?is d[n be=e ,i g any f>!r2 = surely ,i w n =get ?is =ty ye>s h5ce4 ,b1 alas6 )9 less ?an =ty days ,i began to "q all aga92 :i* made me beg9 to "q all /ill4 #ic4 ,yet /ill at times ,i 0 help$ to believe1 t x 0 a true manife/ation ( grace unto my s\l1 ?\gh ,i _h lo/ mu* ( ! life & fav\r ( x4 ,n[ ab\t a week or a =tnight aft] ?is ,i 0 mu* foll[$ by ?is scripture1 ,simon1 ,simon2 behold1 ,satan ha? desir$ to h y1 ,luke xxii4 #ca1 & sometimes x w\ld s\nd s l\d )9 me1 yea1 & z x 01 call s /rongly aft] me1 t once1 above all ! re/1 ,i turn$ my head ov] my %\ld]1 ?9k+ v]ily t "s man _h beh9d me1 call$ me2 be+ at a great di/ance1 me?\ght he call$ s l\d3 x came1 z ,i h ?\ght s9ce1 to h /irr$ me up to pray]1 & to wat*fulness3 x came to acqua9t me1 t a cl\d & a /orm 0 com+ d[n ^u me3 b ,i und]/ood x n4 #id4 ,also1 z ,i rememb]1 t "t t x call$ to me s l\d1 0 ! la/ "t t x s\nd$ 9 m9e e>s2 b me ?9ks ,i he> /ill ) :at a l\d voice ^! words1 ,simon1 ,simon1 s\nd$ 9 m9e e>s4 ,i ?\ght v]ily1 z ,i h told y1 t somebody _h call$ aft] me1 t 0 half a mile beh9d me3 & al?\gh t 0 n my "n1 yet x made me sudd5ly look beh9d me1 believ+ t he t call$ s l\d1 meant me4 #ie4 ,b s fooli% 0 ,i1 & ignorant1 t ,i knew n ! reason ( ?is s\nd2 7:i* z ,i did bo? see & feel soon aft]1 0 s5t f heav5 z an al>m1 to awak5 me to provide = :at 0 com+17 only ,i %\ld muse & wond] 9 my m9d1 to ?9k :at %\ld be ! reason ( ?is scripture1 & t at ?is rate1 s (t5 & s l\d1 %\ld /ill be s\nd+ & rattl+ 9 m9e e>s3 b1 z ,i said be=e1 ,i soon aft] p]ceiv$ ! end ( ,god !re94 #if4 ,=1 ab\t ! space ( a mon? aft]1 a v great /orm came d[n ^u me1 :i* h&l$ me tw5ty times worse ?an all ,i _h met ) be=e2 x came /eal+ ^u me1 n[ by "o piece1 !n by ano!r3 ,fir/1 all my com=t 0 tak5 f me2 !n d>kness seiz$ ^u me2 aft] :i*1 :ole floods ( blasphemies1 bo? aga9/ ,god1 ,*ri/1 & ! scriptures1 7 p\r$ ^u my _s1 to my great confusion & a/oni%m5t4 ,^! blasphem\s ?\ghts 7 su* z /irr$ up que/ions 9 me aga9/ ! v be+ ( ,god1 & ( ,8 only belov$ ,son3 ,z1 :e!r !re 7 9 tru?1 a ,god or ,*ri/8 ,& :e!r ! holy scriptures 7 n r a fable1 & cunn+ /ory1 ?an ! holy & pure ^w ( ,god8 #ig4 ,! tempt] w\ld also mu* assault me ) ?is1 ,h[ c y tell b t ! ,turks _h z good scriptures to prove _! ,mahomet ! ,savi\r1 z we h to prove our ,jesus is8 ,&1 c\ld ,i ?9k1 t s _m t5 ?\s&s1 9 s _m c\ntries & k+doms1 %\ld be )\t ! k ( ! "r way to heav51 7if !re 7 inde$ a heav572 & t we only1 :o live 9 a corn] ( ! e>?1 %\ld alone be bless$ !re)8 ,e "o do? ?9k 8 own religion righte/1 bo? ,jews & ,moors1 & ,pagans2 & h[ if all our fai?1 & ,*ri/1 & scriptures1 %\ld be b a ?9k s too8 #ih4 ,sometimes ,i h endeav\r$ to argue aga9/ ^! sugge/ions1 & to set "s ( ! s5t5ces ( bless$ ,paul aga9/ !m2 b alas6 ,i quickly felt1 :5 ,i ?us did1 su* argu+s z ^! w\ld return aga9 ^u me1 ,?\gh we made s great a matt] ( ,paul1 & ( 8 words1 yet h[ c\ld ,i tell1 b t 9 v de$1 he be+ a subtle & cunn+ man1 might give himself up to deceive ) /rong delusions3 & also take ! pa9s & travel1 to undo & de/roy 8 fell[s4 #ii4 ,^! sugge/ions1 7) _m o!rs :i* at ?is "t ,i may n1 & d>e n utt]1 nei!r by ^w or p517 did make su* a seizure ^u my _s1 & did s ov]weigh my he>t1 bo? ) _! numb]1 cont9uance1 & fi]y =ce1 t ,i felt z if !re 7 no?+ else b ^! f morn+ to night )9 me2 & z ?\gh inde$ !re c\ld be room = no?+ else2 & also conclud$1 t ,god _h1 9 v wra? to my s\l1 giv5 me up to !m1 to be c>ri$ away ) !m1 z ) a mighty :irlw9d4 #ajj4 ,only by ! di/a/e t !y gave unto my _s1 ,i felt !re 0 some?+ 9 me t refus$ to embrace !m4 ,b ?is consid]ation ,i !n only _h1 :5 ,god gave me leave to swall[ my spittle2 o!rwise ! noise1 & /r5g?1 & =ce ( ^! temptations w\ld dr[n & ov]fl[1 & z x 71 bury all su* ?\ghts1 or ! remembrance ( any su* ?+4 ,:ile ,i 0 9 ?is temptation1 ,i (t5 f\nd my m9d sudd5ly put ^u x to curse & swe>1 or to speak "s griev\s ?+ aga9/ ,god1 or ,*ri/ ,8 ,son1 & ( ! scriptures4 #aja4 ,n[ ,i ?\ght1 surely ,i am possess$ ( ! devil3 at o!r times1 aga91 ,i ?\ght ,i %\ld be b]eft ( my wits2 = in/ead ( laud+ & magnify+ ,god ! ,"l1 ) o!rs1 if ,i h b he>d ,him spok5 (1 pres5tly "s mo/ horrible blasphem\s ?\ght or o!r w\ld bolt out ( my he>t aga9/ ,him2 s t :e!r ,i did ?9k t ,god 01 or aga9 did ?9k !re 0 no su* ?+1 no love1 nor peace1 nor graci\s disposition c\ld ,i feel )9 me4 #ajb4 ,^! ?+s did s9k me into v deep despair2 = ,i conclud$ t su* ?+s c\ld n possibly be f\nd among/ !m t lov$ ,god4 ,i (t51 :5 ^! temptations _h be5 ) =ce ^u me1 did comp>e myself to ! case ( su* a *ild1 :om "s gipsy ha? by =ce took up 9 h] arms1 & is c>ry+ f fri5d & c\ntry4 ,kick sometimes ,i did1 & also %riek & cry2 b yet ,i 0 b\nd 9 ! w+s ( ! temptation1 & ! w9d w\ld c>ry me away4 ,i ?\ght also ( ,saul1 & ( ! evil _s t did possess him3 & did greatly fe> t my condition 0 ! same ) t ( 84 #a ,sam4 x4 #ajc4 ,9 ^! days1 :5 ,i h he>d o!rs talk ( :at 0 ! s9 aga9/ ! ,holy ,gho/1 !n w\ld ! tempt] s provoke me to desire to s9 t aga9/ s91 t ,i 0 z if ,i c\ld n1 mu/ n1 nei!r %\ld be quiet until ,i _h committ$ x2 n[ no s9 w\ld s]ve b t4 ,if x 7 to be committ$ by speak+ ( su* a ^w1 !n ,i h be5 z if my m\? w\ld h spok5 t ^w1 :e!r ,i w\ld or no2 & 9 s /rong a measure 0 ?is temptation ^u me1 t (t5 ,i h be5 ready to clap my h& "u my *91 to hold my m\? f op5+2 & to t end also1 ,i h _h ?\ghts at o!r times1 to leap ) my head d[nw>d1 into "s muckhill-hole or o!r1 to keep my m\? f speak+4 #ajd4 ,n[ aga9 ,i beheld ! condition ( ! dog & toad1 & c\nt$ ! e/ate ( e ?+ t ,god _h made1 f> bett] ?an ?is dreadful /ate ( m9e1 & su* z my companions 74 ,yea1 gladly w\ld ,i h be5 9 ! condition ( a dog or horse3 = ,i knew !y _h no s\ls to p]i% "u ! ev]la/+ weight ( hell1 or s91 z m9e 0 l to d4 ,nay1 & ?\gh ,i saw ?is1 felt ?is1 & 0 brok5 to pieces ) x2 yet t :i* add$ to my sorr[ 01 ,i c\ld n f9d1 t ) all my s\l ,i did desire deliv]ance4 ,t scripture did also te> & r5d my s\l 9 ! mid/ ( ^! di/ractions1 ,! wick$ are l ! tr\bl$ sea1 :5 x _c re/1 ^: wat]s ca/ up mire & dirt4 ,!re is no peace1 sai? my ,god1 to ! wick$4 ,isa4 lvii4 #bj1 #ba4 #aje4 ,& n[ my he>t 01 at times1 exce$+ h>d2 if ,i w\ld h giv5 a ?\s& p\nds = a te>1 ,i c\ld n %$ "o3 no nor sometimes sc>ce desire to %$ "o4 ,i 0 mu* deject$1 to ?9k t ?is w\ld be my lot4 ,i saw "s c\ld m\rn & lam5t _! s92 & o!rs aga91 c\ld rejoice & bless ,god = ,*ri/2 & o!rs aga91 c\ld quietly talk (1 & ) gladness rememb] ! ^w ( ,god2 :ile ,i only 0 9 ! /orm or tempe/4 ,?is mu* sunk me1 ,i ?\ght my condition 0 alone1 ,i %\ld !re=e mu* bewail my h>d hap1 b get out (1 or get rid ( ^! ?+s1 ,i c\ld n4 #ajf4 ,:ile ?is temptation la/$1 :i* 0 ab\t a ye>1 ,i c\ld att5d ^u none ( ! ord9ances ( ,god1 b ) sore & great affliction4 ,yea1 !n ,i 0 mo/ di/ress$ ) blasphemies4 ,if ,i _h be5 he>+ ! ^w1 !n uncleanness1 blasphemies & despair w\ld hold me a captive !re3 if ,i h be5 read+1 !n sometimes ,i _h sudd5 ?\ghts to "q all ,i read3 sometimes aga91 my m9d w\ld be s /rangely snat*$ away1 & possess$ ) o!r ?+s1 t ,i h nei!r kn[n1 nor reg>d$1 nor rememb]$ s mu* z ! s5t5ce t b n[ ,i h read4 #ajg4 ,9 pray] also ,i h be5 greatly tr\bl$ at ?is "t2 sometimes ,i h ?\ght ,i h felt him beh9d me pull+ my clo!s3 he w\ld be also cont9ually at me 9 "t ( pray]1 to h done1 break (f1 make ha/e1 y h pray$ en\gh1 & /ay no long]2 /ill draw+ my m9d away4 ,sometimes also he w\ld ca/ 9 su* wick$ ?\ghts z ^!2 t ,i mu/ pray to him1 or = him3 ,i h ?\ght sometimes ( t1 ,fall d[n2 or1 if ?\ wilt fall d[n & wor%ip me4 ,matt4 iii4 #i4 #ajh4 ,also1 :5 because ,i h _h w&]+ ?\ghts 9 ! "t ( ?is duty1 ,i h lab\r$ to compose my m9d1 & fix x ^u ,god2 !n ) great =ce ha? ! tempt] lab\r$ to di/ract me1 & conf\nd me1 & to turn away my m9d1 by pres5t+ to my he>t & fancy1 ! =m ( a bu%1 a bull1 a besom1 or ! l1 z if ,i %\ld pray to ^!3 ,to ^! he w\ld also 7at sometimes especially7 s hold my m9d1 t ,i 0 z if ,i c\ld ?9k ( no?+ else1 or pray to no?+ else b to ^!1 or su* z !y4 #aji4 ,yet at times ,i %\ld h "s /rong & he>t-affect+ appreh5sions ( ,god1 & ! reality ( ! tru? ( ,8 gospel4 ,b1 oh6 h[ w\ld my he>t1 at su* times1 put =? itself ) unexpressible groan+s4 ,my :ole s\l 0 !n 9 e ^w2 ,i %\ld cry ) pangs aft] ,god1 t ,he w\ld be m]ciful unto me2 b !n ,i %\ld be daunt$ aga9 ) su* conceits z ^!3 ,i %\ld ?9k t ,god did mock at ^! my pray]s1 say+1 & t 9 ! audi5ce ( ! holy angels1 ,?is poor simple wret* do? hank] aft] ,me1 z if ,i _h no?+ to d ) ,my m]cy1 b to be/[ x on su* z he4 ,alas1 poor s\l6 h[ art ?\ deceiv$6 ,x is n = su* z !e to h fav\r ) ! ,highe/4 #aaj4 ,!n ha? ! tempt] come ^u me1 also1 ) su* disc\ragem5ts z ^!3 ,y are v hot = m]cy1 b ,i w cool y2 ?is frame %all n la/ always3 _m h be5 z hot z y = a spurt1 b ,i h qu5*$ _! zeal 7& ) ?is1 su* & su*1 :o 7 fall5 (f1 w\ld be set be=e m9e eyes74 ,!n ,i %\ld be afraid t ,i %\ld d s too3 ,b1 ?\ght ,i1 ,i am glad ?is comes into my m9d3 well1 ,i w wat*1 & take :at c>e ,i c4 ,?\gh y d1 said ,satan1 ,i %all be too h>d = y2 ,i w cool y ins5sibly1 by degrees1 by little & little4 ,:at c>e ,i1 sai? he1 ?\gh ,i be sev5 ye>s 9 *ill+ y\r he>t1 if ,i c d x at la/8 ,cont9ual rock+ w lull a cry+ *ild asleep3 ,i w ply x close1 b ,i w h my end accompli%$4 ,?\gh y be burn+ hot at pres5t1 ,i c pull y f ?is fire2 ,i %all h y cold be=e x be long4 #aaa4 ,^! ?+s br\ght me into great /raits2 = z ,i at pres5t c\ld n f9d myself fit = pres5t dea?1 s ,i ?\ght1 to live long1 w\ld make me yet m unfit2 = "t w\ld make me =get all1 & we> ev5 ! remembrance ( ! evil ( s91 ! wor? ( heav51 & ! ne$ ,i _h ( ! blood ( ,*ri/ to wa% me1 bo? out ( m9d & ?\ght3 b ,i ?ank ,*ri/ ,jesus1 ^! ?+s did n at pres5t make me slack my cry+1 b r did put me m ^u x 7l h] :o met ) adult]]1 ,deut4 xxii4 #bf71 9 :i* days t 0 a good ^w to me1 aft] ,i _h suff]$ ^! ?+s a :ile3--,i am p]suad$ t nei!r dea?1 nor life1 etc41 %all be able to sep>ate u f ! love ( ,god :i* is 9 ,*ri/ ,jesus our ,"l4 ,rom4 viii4 #ch1 #ci4 ,& n[ ,i hop$ long life w\ld n de/roy me1 nor make me miss ( heav54 #aab4 ,yet ,i _h "s supports 9 ?is temptation1 ?\gh !y 7 !n all que/ion$ by me2 t 9 ,j]4 iii4 at ! fir/ 0 some?+ to me2 & s 0 ! consid]ation ( v]se #e ( t *apt]2 t ?\gh we h spok5 & done z evil ?+s z we c\ld1 yet we %\ld cry unto ,god1 ,my ,fa!r1 ,?\ art ! ,guide ( my y\?1 & %all return unto ,him4 #aac4 ,i _h1 also1 once a sweet glance f t 9 #b ,cor4 v4 #ba3 ,= ,he ha? made ,him to be s9 = u1 ,:o knew no s91 t we might be made ! righte\sness ( ,god 9 ,him4 ,i rememb] t "o day1 z ,i 0 sitt+ 9 a neighb\r's h\se1 & !re v sad at ! consid]ation ( my _m blasphemies2 & z ,i 0 say+ 9 my m9d1 ,:at gr\nd h ,i to say t1 :o h be5 s vile & abom9able1 %\ld ev] inh]it et]nal life8 ,t ^w came sudd5ly ^u me1 ,:at %all we say to ^! ?+s8 ,if ,god be = u1 :o c be aga9/ u8 ,rom4 viii4 #ca4 ,t also 0 an help unto me1 ,because ,i live1 ye %all live also4 ,john xiv4 #ai4 ,b ^! words 7 b h9ts1 t\*es1 & %ort visits1 ?\gh v sweet :5 pres5t2 only !y la/$ n2 b1 l to ,pet]'s %eet1 ( a sudd5 7 caught up f me1 to heav5 aga94 ,acts x4 #af4 #aad4 ,b aft]w>ds ! ,"l did m fully & graci\sly discov] ,himself unto me1 & inde$1 did q1 n only deliv] me f ! guilt t1 by ^! ?+s 0 laid ^u my consci5ce1 b also f ! v fil? !re(2 = ! temptation 0 remov$1 & ,i 0 put into my "r m9d aga91 z o!r ,*ri/ians 74 #aae4 ,i rememb] t "o day1 z ,i 0 travell+ into ! c\ntry1 & mus+ on ! wick$ness & blasphemy ( my he>t1 & consid]+ ! enmity t 0 9 me to ,god1 t scripture came into my m9d1 ,hav+ made peace ?r\gh ! blood ( ,8 cross4 ,col4 i4 #bj4 ,by :i* ,i 0 made to see1 bo? aga9 & aga91 t ,god & my s\l 7 fri5ds by ,8 blood2 yea1 ,i saw t ! ju/ice ( ,god1 & my s9ful s\l c\ld embrace & kiss ea* o!r1 ?r\gh ,8 blood4 ,?is 0 a good day to me2 ,i hope ,i %all nev] =get x4 #aaf4 ,at ano!r "t1 z ,i sat by ! fire 9 my h\se1 & 0 mus+ on my wret*$ness1 ! ,"l made t also a preci\s ^w unto me1 ,=asmu* !n z ! *ildr5 are p>tak]s ( fle% & blood1 ,he also ,himself likewise took "p ( ! same1 t ?r\gh dea? ,he might de/roy him t _h ! p[] ( dea?1 t is ! devil2 & deliv] ^? :o ?r\gh fe> ( dea?1 7 all _! lifetime subject to bondage4 ,heb4 ii4 #ad1 #ae4 ,i ?\ght t ! glory ( ^! words 0 !n s weighty on me1 t ,i 0 bo? once & twice ready to swoon z ,i sate2 yet n ) grief & tr\ble1 b ) solid joy & peace4 #aag4 ,at ?is "t also ,i sate "u ( holy ,mr ,gif=d1 ^: doctr9e1 by ,god's grace1 0 mu* = my /ability4 ,?is man made x mu* 8 bus9ess to deliv] ! p ( ,god f all ^? false & uns\nd te/s1 t by nature we are prone to4 ,he w\ld bid u take special he$1 t we took n up any tru? ^u tru/2 z f ?is1 or t1 or any o!r man or m52 b to cry mightily to ,god1 t ,he w\ld conv9ce u ( ! reality !re(1 & set u d[n !re9 by ,8 own ,_s 9 ! holy ^w2 ,=1 said he1 if y d o!rwise1 :5 temptations come1 if /rongly1 y n hav+ receiv$ !m ) evid5ce f heav51 w f9d y want t help & /r5g? n[ to resi/1 t once y ?\ght y _h4 #aah4 ,?is 0 z seasonable to my s\l1 z ! =m] & latt] ra9s 9 _! season 7= ,i _h f\nd1 & t by sad exp]i5ce1 ! tru? ( ^! 8 words3 = ,i _h felt no man c say1 especially :5 tempt$ by ! devil1 t ,jesus ,*ri/ is ,"l1 b by ! ,holy ,gho/74 ,:]e=e ,i f\nd my s\l1 ?r\gh grace1 v apt to dr9k 9 ?is doctr9e1 & to incl9e to pray to ,god1 t 9 no?+ t p]ta9$ to ,god's glory1 & my own et]nal happ9ess1 ,he w\ld suff] me to be )\t ! confirmation !re( f heav52 = n[ ,i saw cle>ly1 !re 0 an exce$+ diff]5ce betwixt ! notion ( ! fle% & blood1 & ! revelations ( ,god 9 heav53 also a great diff]5ce betwixt t fai? t is feign$1 & accord+ to man's wisdom1 & t :i* comes by a man's be+ born !reto ( ,god4 ,matt4 xvi4 #ae2 #a ,john v4 #a4 #aai4 ,b1 oh6 n[1 h[ 0 my s\l l$ f tru? to tru? by ,god6 ,ev5 f ! bir? & cradle ( ! ,son ( ,god1 to ,8 accession1 & second com+ f heav5 to judge ! _w6 #abj4 ,truly1 ,i !n f\nd1 ^u ?is acc\nt1 ! great ,god 0 v good unto me2 =1 to my remembrance1 !re 0 n any ?+ t ,i !n cri$ unto ,god to make kn[n1 & reveal unto me1 b ,he 0 pleas$ to d x = me2 ,i mean1 n "o "p ( ! gospel ( ! ,"l ,jesus1 b ,i 0 ord]ly l$ into x3 me?\ght ,i saw ) great evid5ce1 f ! relation ( ! f\r evangeli/s1 ! wond]ful "w ( ,god1 9 giv+ ,jesus ,*ri/ to save u1 f ,8 conception & bir?1 ev5 to ,8 second com+ to judgm5t3 me?\ght ,i 0 z if ,i _h se5 ,him born1 z if ,i _h se5 ,him gr[ up2 z if ,i _h se5 ,him walk ?r\gh ?is _w1 f ! cradle to ! cross2 to :i* also1 :5 ,he came1 ,i saw h[ g5tly ,he gave ,himself to be hang$1 & nail$ on x = my s9s & wick$ do+s4 ,also z ,i 0 mus+ on ?is ,8 progress1 t dropp$ on my _s1 ,he 0 orda9$ = ! slaught]4 #a ,pet] i4 #ab1 #bj4 #aba4 ,:5 ,i h consid]$ also ! tru? ( ,8 resurrection1 & h rememb]$ t ^w1 ,t\* ,me n1 ,m>y1 etc41 ,i h se5 z if ,he _h leap$ out ( ! grave's m\?1 = joy t ,he 0 ris5 aga91 & _h got ! conque/ ov] our dreadful foes4 ,john xx4 #ag4 ,i h also 9 ! _s1 se5 ,him a man1 on ! "r h& ( ,god ! ,fa!r = me2 & h se5 ! mann] ( ,8 com+ f heav51 to judge ! _w ) glory1 & h be5 confirm$ 9 ^! ?+s by ^! scriptures foll[+1 ,acts i4 #i1 #aj1 & vii4 #ef1 & x4 #db2 ,heb4 vii4 #bd & ix4 #bh2 ,rev4 i4 #ah2 #a ,!ss4 iv4 #ag1 #ah4 #aab4 ,once ,i 0 tr\bl$ to "k :e!r ! ,"l ,jesus 0 man z well z ,god1 & ,god z well z man3 & truly1 9 ^? days1 let m5 say :at !y w\ld1 unless ,i _h x ) evid5ce f heav51 all 0 no?+ to me2 ,i c\nt$ myself n set d[n 9 any tru? ( ,god4 ,well1 ,i 0 mu* tr\bl$ ab\t ?is po9t1 & c\ld n tell h[ to be resolv$2 at la/1 t 9 ,rev4 v4 #f came into my m9d3 ,& ,i beheld1 &1 to1 9 ! mid/ ( ! ?rone1 & ( ! f\r bea/s1 & 9 ! mid/ ( ! eld]s1 /ood a ,lamb1 z x _h be5 sla94 ,9 ! mid/ ( ! ?rone1 ?\ght ,i1 !re is ! ,godhead2 9 ! mid/ ( ! eld]s1 !re is ,8 manhood2 b1 oh6 me?\ght ?is did gli/]6 ,x 0 a goodly t\*1 & gave me sweet satisfaction4 ,t o!r scripture also did help me mu* 9 ?is1 ,= unto u a ,*ild is born1 unto u a ,son is giv52 & ! gov]nm5t %all be ^u ,8 %\ld]3 & ,8 "n %all be call$ ,wond]ful1 ,c\nsellor1 ! ,mighty ,god1 ! ,ev]la/+ ,fa!r1 ! ,pr9ce ( ,peace1 etc4 ,isa4 ix4 #f4 #abc4 ,also besides ^! tea*+s ( ,god 9 ,8 ^w1 ! ,"l made use ( two ?+s to confirm me 9 ?is tru?2 ! "o 0 ! errors ( ! ,quak]s & ! o!r 0 ! guilt ( s92 = z ! ,quak]s did oppose ?is tru?1 s ,god did ! m confirm me 9 x1 by lead+ me into ! scripture t did wond]fully ma9ta9 x4 #abd4 ,! errors t ?is p !n ma9ta9$1 73-- #8#a4 ,t ! holy scriptures 7 n ! ^w ( ,god4 #8#b4 ,t e man 9 ! _w _h ! _s ( ,*ri/1 grace1 fai?1 etc4 #8#c4 ,t ,*ri/ ,jesus1 z crucifi$1 & dy+ sixte5 hundr$ ye>s ago1 did n satisfy div9e ju/ice = ! s9s ( ! p4 #8#d4 ,t ,*ri/'s fle% & blood 7 )9 ! sa9ts4 #8#e4 ,t ! bodies ( ! good & bad t are buri$ 9 ! *ur*-y>d1 %all n arise aga94 #8#f4 ,t ! resurrection is pa/ ) good m5 already4 #8#g4 ,t t man ,jesus1 t 0 crucifi$ betwe5 two ?ieves1 on m\nt ,calv>y1 9 ! l& ( ,canaan1 by ,j]usalem1 0 n asc5d$ above ! />ry heav5s4 #8#h4 ,t ,he %\ld n1 ev5 ! same ,jesus t di$ by ! h&s ( ! ,jews1 come aga9 at ! la/ day2 & z man1 judge all nations1' etc4 #abe4 ,_m m vile & abom9able ?+s 7 9 ^? days fom5t$ by !m1 by :i* ,i 0 driv5 to a m n>r[ se>* ( ! scriptures1 & 0 ?r\gh _! light & te/imony1 n only enlight5$1 b greatly confirm$ & com=t$ 9 ! tru?3 ,&1 z ,i said1 ! guilt ( s9 did help me mu*2 = /ill z t w\ld come ^u me1 ! blood ( ,*ri/ did take x (f aga91 & aga91 & aga92 & t too sweetly1 accord+ to ! scripture4 ,o fri5ds6 cry to ,god to reveal ,jesus ,*ri/ unto y2 !re is none tea*e? l ,him4 #abf4 ,x w\ld be too long "h to /ay1 to tell y 9 p>ticul>1 h[ ,god did set me d[n 9 all ! ?+s ( ,*ri/1 & h[ ,he did1 t ,he might s d1 lead me into ,8 words2 yea1 & also h[ ,he did op5 !m unto me1 & make !m %9e be=e me1 & cause !m to dwell ) me1 talk ) me1 & com=t me ov] & ov]1 bo? ( ,8 own be+1 & ! be+ ( ,8 ,son1 & ,_s1 & ^w1 & gospel4 #abg4 ,only ?is1 z ,i said be=e1 ,i w say unto y aga91 t 9 g5]al1 ,he 0 pleas$ to take ?is c\rse ) me2 fir/1 to suff] me to be afflict$ ) temptations conc]n+ !m1 & !n reveal !m unto me2 z sometimes ,i %\ld lie "u great guilt = s91 ev5 cru%$ to ! gr\nd !re)2 & !n ! ,"l w\ld %[ me ! dea? ( ,*ri/2 yea1 s spr9kle my consci5ce ) ,8 blood1 t ,i %\ld f9d1 & t be=e ,i 0 aw>e1 t 9 t consci5ce1 :]e b j n[ did reign & rage ! law1 ev5 !re w\ld re/ & abide ! peace & love ( ,god1 ?r\gh ,*ri/4 #abh4 ,n[ ,i _h an evid5ce1 z ,i ?\ght1 ( my salvation1 f heav51 ) _m gold5 seals !reon1 all hang+ 9 my sight4 ,n[ c\ld ,i rememb] ?is manife/ation1 & ! o!r discov]y ( grace1 ) com=t2 & %\ld (t5 long & desire t ! la/ day 7 come1 t ,i might be = ev] inflam$ ) ! sight1 & joy1 & communion ( ,him1 ,^: head 0 cr[n$ ) ?orns1 ,^: face 0 spit ^u1 & body brok51 & s\l made an (f]+ = my s9s4 ,= :]eas be=e ,i lay cont9ually trembl+ at ! m\? ( hell1 n[ me?\ght ,i 0 got s f> !refrom1 t ,i c\ld n1 :5 ,i look$ back1 sc>ce disc]n x6 ,& oh6 ?\ght ,i1 t ,i 7 f\rscore ye>s old n[1 t ,i might die quickly1 t my s\l might be gone to re/4 #abi4 ,b be=e ,i _h got ?us f> out ( ^! my temptations1 ,i did greatly long to see "s anci5t godly man's exp]i5ce1 :o _h writ "s hundr$s ( ye>s be=e ,i 0 born2 = ^? :o _h writ 9 our days1 ,i ?\ght 7b ,i desire !m n[ to p>don me7 t !y _h writ only t :i* o!rs felt2 or else _h1 ?r\gh ! /r5g? ( _! wits & p>ts1 /udi$ to answ] su* objections z !y p]ceiv$ o!rs 7 p]plex$ )1 )\t go+ d[n !mselves into ! deep4 ,well1 aft] _m su* long+s 9 my m9d1 ! ,god1 9 ,^: h&s are all our days & ways1 did ca/ into my h& 7"o day7 a book ( ,m>t9 ,lu!r's2 x 0 8 ,comm5t on ! ,galatians2 x also 0 s old1 t x 0 ready to fall piece f piece if ,i did b turn x ov]4 ,n[ ,i 0 pleas$ mu* t su* an old book _h fall5 into my h&1 ! :i* :5 ,i _h b a little way p]us$1 ,i f\nd my condition 9 8 exp]i5ce s l>gely & pr(\ndly h&l$1 z if 8 book _h be5 writt5 out ( my he>t4 ,?is made me m>vel3 = ?us ?\ght ,i1 ,?is man c\ld n "k any ?+ ( ! /ate ( ,*ri/ians n[1 b mu/ ne$s write & speak ! exp]i5ce ( =m] days4 #acj4 ,besides1 he do? mo/ gravely also 9 t book1 debate ( ! rise ( ^! temptations1 namely1 blasphemy1 desp]ation1 & ! l2 %[+ t ! law ( ,moses1 z well z ! devil1 dea?1 & hell1 ha? a v great h& !re93 ! :i*1 at fir/1 0 v /range to me2 b consid]+ & wat*+1 ,i f\nd x s inde$4 ,b ( p>ticul>s "h1 ,i int5d no?+2 only ?is me?9ks ,i mu/ let fall be=e all m5--,i d pref] ?is book ( ,m>t9 ,lu!r ^u ! ,galatians 7except+ ! ,holy ,bible7 be=e all ! books t ev] ,i _h se51 z mo/ fit = a w\nd$ consci5ce4 #aca4 ,& n[ ,i f\nd1 z ,i ?\ght1 t ,i lov$ ,*ri/ de>ly3 ,oh6 me?\ght my s\l cleav$ unto ,him1 my affections cleav$ unto ,him2 ,i felt love to ,him z hot z fire2 & n[1 z ,job said1 ,i ?\ght ,i %\ld die 9 my ne/2 b ,i did quickly f9d1 t my great love 0 b little2 & t ,i1 :o _h1 z ,i ?\ght1 su* burn+ love to ,jesus ,*ri/1 c\ld let ,him g aga9 = a v trifle1--,god c tell h[ to abase u1 & c hide pride f man4 ,quickly aft] ?is my love 0 tri$ to purpose4 #acb4 ,= aft] ! ,"l _h1 9 ?is mann]1 ?us graci\sly deliv]$ me f ?is great & sore temptation1 & _h set me d[n s sweetly 9 ! fai? ( ,8 holy gospel1 & _h giv5 me su* /rong consolation & bless$ evid5ce f heav51 t\*+ my int]e/ 9 ,8 love ?r\gh ,*ri/2 ! tempt] came ^u me aga91 & t ) a m griev\s & dreadful temptation ?an be=e4 #acc4 ,& t 01 ,to sell & "p ) ?is mo/ bless$ ,*ri/1 to ex*ange ,him = ! ?+s ( ?is life1 = any ?+4 ,! temptation lay ^u me = ! space ( a ye>1 & did foll[ me s cont9ually1 t ,i 0 n rid ( x "o day 9 a mon?3 no1 n sometimes "o h\r 9 _m days toge!r1 unless :5 ,i 0 asleep4 #acd4 ,& ?\gh1 9 my judgm5t1 ,i 0 p]suad$1 t ^? :o 7 once effectually 9 ,*ri/ 7z ,i hop$1 ?r\gh ,8 grace1 ,i _h se5 myself7 c\ld nev] lose ,him = ev]2 ,! l& %all n be sold = ev]1 = ! l& is m9e1 sai? ,god4 ,lev4 xxv4 #bc4 ,yet x 0 a cont9ual vexation to me1 to ?9k t ,i %\ld h s mu* z "o su* ?\ght )9 me aga9/ a ,*ri/1 a ,jesus1 t _h done = me z ,he _h done2 & yet !n ,i _h almo/ none o!rs1 b su* blasphem\s ones4 #ace4 ,b x 0 nei!r my dislike ( ! ?\ght1 nor yet any desire & endeav\r to resi/1 t 9 ! lea/ did %ake or abate ! cont9uation or =ce & /r5g? !re(2 = x did always1 9 almo/ :atev] ,i ?\ght1 int]mix itself !re)1 9 su* sort1 t ,i c\ld nei!r eat my food1 /oop = a p91 *op a /ick1 or ca/ m9e eye to look on ?is or t1 b /ill ! temptation w\ld come1 ,sell ,*ri/ = ?is1 or sell ,*ri/ = t2 sell ,him1 sell ,him4 #acf4 ,sometimes x w\ld run 9 my ?\ghts1 n s little z a hundr$ times toge!r1 ,sell ,him1 sell ,him1 sell ,him3 aga9/ :i*1 ,i may say1 = :ole h\rs toge!r1 ,i h be5 =c$ to /& z cont9ually lean+ & =c+ my _s aga9/ x1 le/ haply1 be=e ,i 7 aw>e1 "s wick$ ?\ght might arise 9 my he>t1 t might cons5t !reto2 & sometimes ! tempt] w\ld make me believe ,i _h cons5t$ to x2 b !n ,i %\ld be1 z tortur$ ^u a rack = :ole days toge!r4 #acg4 ,?is temptation did put me to su* sc>es1 le/ ,i %\ld at "s times1 ,i say1 cons5t !reto1 & be ov]come !re)1 t by ! v =ce ( my m9d1 9 lab\r+ to ga9say & resi/ ?is wick$ness1 my v body w\ld be put into action or motion1 by way ( pu%+ or ?ru/+ ) my h&s or elb[s2 /ill answ]+1 z fa/ z ! de/roy] said1 ,sell ,him2 ,i w n1 ,i w n1 ,i w n1 ,i w n2 no1 n = ?\s&s1 ?\s&s1 ?\s&s ( worlds3 ?us reckon+1 le/ ,i %\ld1 9 ! mid/ ( ^! assaults1 set too l[ a value on ,him2 ev5 until ,i sc>ce well knew :]e ,i 01 or h[ to be compos$ aga94 #ach4 ,at ^! seasons he w\ld n let me eat my food at quiet2 b1 =soo?1 :5 ,i 0 set at ! table at my meat1 ,i mu/ g h5ce to pray2 ,i mu/ leave my food n[1 j n[1 s c\nt]feit holy also w\ld ?is devil be4 ,:5 ,i 0 ?us tempt$1 ,i w\ld say 9 myself1 ,n[ ,i am at meat2 let me make an end4 ,no1 said he1 y mu/ d x n[1 or y w displease ,god1 & despise ,*ri/4 ,:]e=e ,i 0 mu* afflict$ ) ^! ?+s2 & because ( ! s9fulness ( my nature 7imag9+ t ^! 7 impulses f ,god71 ,i %\ld d5y to d x1 z if ,i d5i$ ,god1 & !n %\ld ,i be z guilty1 because ,i did n obey a temptation ( ! devil1 z if ,i _h brok5 ! law ( ,god inde$4 #aci4 ,b to be brief3 "o morn+ z ,i did lie 9 my b$1 ,i 01 z at o!r times1 mo/ fi]cely assault$ ) ?is temptation1 ,to sell & "p ) ,*ri/2 ! wick$ sugge/ion /ill runn+ 9 my m9d1 ,sell ,him1 sell ,him1 sell ,him1 sell ,him1 sell ,him1 z fa/ z a man c\ld speak3 aga9/ :i* also1 9 my m9d1 z at o!r times1 ,i answ]$1 ,no1 no1 n = ?\s&s1 ?\s&s1 ?\s&s1 at lea/ tw5ty times toge!r3 b at la/1 aft] mu* /riv+1 ev5 until ,i 0 almo/ out ( brea?1 ,i felt ?is ?\ght pass ?r\gh my he>t1 ,let ,him g1 if ,he w2 & ,i ?\ght also1 t ,i felt my he>t freely cons5t !reto4 ,oh6 ! dilig5ce ( ,satan6 ,oh6 ! desp]at5ess ( man's he>t6 #adj4 ,n[ 0 ! battle won1 & d[n fell ,i z a bird t is %ot f ! top ( a tree1 into great guilt1 & fe>ful despair4 ,?us gett+ out ( my b$1 ,i w5t mop+ into ! field2 b ,god kn[s1 ) z heavy a he>t z mortal man1 ,i ?9k1 c\ld be>2 :]e = ! space ( two h\rs1 ,i 0 l a man b]eft ( life2 &1 z n[1 pa/ all recov]y1 & b\nd ov] to et]nal puni%m5t4 #ada4 ,& )al1 t scripture did seize ^u my s\l3 ,or pr(ane p]sons z ,esau1 :o = "o morsel ( meat1 sold 8 bir?right3 = ye "k1 h[ t aft]w>d1 :5 he w\ld h inh]it$ ! bless+1 he 0 reject$2 = he f\nd no place ( rep5tance1 ?\gh he s\ght x c>efully ) te>s4 ,heb4 xii4 #af1 #ag4 #adb4 ,n[ 0 ,i z "o b\nd1 ,i felt myself %ut up unto ! judgm5t to come2 no?+ n[1 = two ye>s toge!r1 w\ld abide ) me1 b damnation1 & an expectation ( damnation3 ,i say1 no?+ n[ w\ld abide ) me b ?is1 save "s few mom5ts = relief1 z 9 ! sequel y w see4 #adc4 ,^! words 7 to my s\l1 l fett]s ( brass to my legs1 9 ! cont9ual s\nd ( :i* ,i w5t = sev]al mon?s toge!r4 ,b ab\t t5 or elev5 o'clock on t day1 z ,i 0 walk+ "u an h$ge 7full ( sorr[ & guilt1 ,god kn[s71 & bemoan+ myself = ?is h>d hap1 t su* a ?\ght %\ld arise )9 me1 sudd5ly ?is s5t5ce ru%$ 9 ^u me1 ,! blood ( ,*ri/ remits all guilt4 ,at ?is ,i made a /& 9 my _s3 ) t ?is ^w took hold ^u me1 ,! blood ( ,jesus ,*ri/ ,8 ,son1 cleanse? u f all s94 #a ,john i4 #g4 #add4 ,n[ ,i began to conceive peace 9 my s\l1 & me?\ght ,i saw1 z if ! tempt] did le] & /eal away f me1 z be+ a%am$ ( :at he _h done4 ,at ! same "t also ,i _h my s91 & ! blood ( ,*ri/1 ?us repres5t$ to me1 ,t my s91 :5 comp>$ to ! blood ( ,*ri/1 0 no m to x1 ?an ?is little clod or /one be=e me1 is to ?is va/ & wide field t "h ,i see4 ,?is gave me good enc\ragem5t = ! space ( two or ?ree h\rs2 9 :i* "t also1 me?\ght1 ,i saw1 by fai?1 ! ,son ( ,god1 z suff]+ = my s9s3 b because x t>ri$ n1 ,i !re=e sunk 9 my _s1 "u exce$+ guilt aga94 #ade4 ,b *iefly by ! a=em5tion$ scripture conc]n+ ,esau's sell+ ( 8 bir?right2 = t scripture w\ld lie all day long1 all ! week long1 yea1 all ! ye> long 9 my m9d1 & hold me d[n1 s t ,i c\ld by no means lift up myself2 = :5 ,i w\ld /rive to turn to ?is scripture or t1 = relief1 /ill t s5t5ce w\ld be s\nd+ 9 me2 ,= ye "k1 h[ t aft]w>ds1 :5 he w\ld h inh]it$ ! bless+1 he f\nd no place ( rep5tance1 ?\gh he s\ght x c>efully ) te>s4 #adf4 ,sometimes1 inde$1 ,i %\ld h a t\* f t 9 ,luke xxii4 #ca1 ,i h pray$ = !e t ?y fai? fail n2 b x w\ld n abide ^u me2 nei!r c\ld ,i1 inde$1 :5 ,i consid]$ my /ate1 f9d gr\nd to conceive 9 ! lea/1 t !re %\ld be ! root ( t grace 9 me1 hav+ s9n$ z ,i _h done4 ,n[ 0 ,i tore & r5t 9 an heavy case = _m days toge!r4 #adg4 ,!n began ,i ) sad & c>eful he>t to consid] ( ! nature & l>g5ess ( my s91 & to se>* into ! ^w ( ,god1 if ,i c\ld 9 any place espy a ^w ( promise1 or any enc\rag+ s5t5ce1 by :i* ,i might take relief4 ,:]e=e ,i began to consid] t ( ,m>k iii4 #bh3 ,all s9s %all be =giv5 unto ! sons ( m51 & blasphemies :]e) soev] !y %all blaspheme4 ,:i* place1 me?\ght at a blu%1 did conta9 a l>ge & glori\s promise = ! p>don ( high (f5ces2 b consid]+ ! place m fully1 ,i ?\ght x 0 r to be und]/ood1 z relat+ m *iefly to ^? :o _h1 :ile 9 a natural e/ate1 committ$ su* ?+s z !re are m5tion$2 b n to me1 :o _h n only receiv$ light & m]cy1 b t _h bo? aft]1 & also contr>y to t1 s slight$ ,*ri/ z ,i _h done4 #adh4 ,i fe>$1 !re=e1 t ?is wick$ s9 ( m9e1 might be t s9 unp>donable1 ( :i* ,he !re ?us speake?4 ,b he t %all blaspheme aga9/ ! ,holy ,gho/1 ha? nev] =giv5ess1 b is 9 dang] ( et]nal damnation4 ,m>k iii4 #bi4 ,& ,i did ! r give cr$it to ?is1 because ( t s5t5ce 9 ! ,hebrews3 ,= y "k h[ t aft]w>ds1 :5 he w\ld h inh]it$ ! bless+1 he 0 reject$2 = he f\nd no place ( rep5tance1 ?\gh he s\ght x c>efully ) te>s4 ,& ?is /uck always ) me4 #adi4 ,& n[ 0 ,i bo? a bur!n & a t]ror to myself2 nor did ,i ev] s "k1 z n[1 :at x 0 to be we>y ( my life1 & yet afraid to die4 ,oh6 h[ gladly n[ w\ld ,i h be5 anybody b myself6 any?+ b a man1 & 9 any condition b my own6 ,= !re 0 no?+ did pass m frequ5tly ov] my m9d1 ?an t x 0 impossible = me to be =giv5 my transgression1 & to be sav$ f ! wra? to come4 #aej4 ,& n[ ,i began to call aga9 "t t 0 sp5t2 wi%+ a ?\s& times twice told1 t ! day 0 yet to come :5 ,i %\ld be tempt$ to su* a s92 conclud+ ) great indignation1 bo? aga9/ my he>t1 & all assaults1 h[ ,i w\ld r h be5 torn 9 pieces1 ?an be f\nd a cons5t] !reto4 ,b alas6 ^! ?\ghts1 & wi%+s1 & resolv+s 7 n[ too late to help me2 ?is ?\ght _h pass$ my he>t1 ,god ha? let me g1 & ,i am fall54 ,oh6 ?\ght ,i1 t x 7 ) me z 9 mon?s pa/1 z 9 ! days :5 ,god pres]v$ me6 ,job xxix4 #b4 #aea4 ,!n aga91 be+ lo? & unwill+ to p]i%1 ,i began to comp>e my s9 ) o!rs to see if ,i c\ld f9d t any ( ^? t 7 sav$1 _h done z ,i _h done4 ,s ,i consid]$ ,david's adult]y1 & murd]1 & f\nd !m mo/ he9\s crimes2 & ^? too committ$ aft] light & grace receiv$3 b yet by consid]+ t 8 transgressions 7 only su* z 7 aga9/ ! law ( ,moses1 f :i* ! ,"l ,*ri/ c\ld1 ) ! cons5t ( ,8 ^w1 deliv] him3 b m9e 0 aga9/ ! gospel2 yea1 aga9/ ! ,m$iator !re(2 ,i _h sold my ,savi\r4 #aeb4 ,n[ aga9 %\ld ,i be z if rack$ ^u ! :eel1 :5 ,i consid]$1 t1 besides ! guilt t possess$ me1 ,i %\ld be s void ( grace1 s bewit*$4 ,:at1 ?\ght ,i1 mu/ x be no s9 b ?is8 ,mu/ x ne$s be ! great transgression8 ,ps4 xix4 #ac4 ,mu/ t wick$ "o t\* my s\l8 #a ,john v4 #ah4 ,oh6 :at /+ did ,i f9d 9 all ^! s5t5ces8 #aec4 ,:at1 ?\ght ,i1 is !re b "o s9 t is unp>donable8 b "o s9 t laye? ! s\l )\t ! rea* ( ,god's m]cy2 & mu/ ,i be guilty ( t8 mu/ x ne$s be t8 ,is !re b "o s9 among s _m millions ( s9s1 = :i* !re is no =giv5ess2 & mu/ ,i commit ?is8 ,oh6 unhappy s96 ,oh6 unhappy man6 ,^! ?+s w\ld s break & conf\nd my _s1 t ,i c\ld n tell :at to d2 ,i ?\ght at times1 !y w\ld h broke my wits2 & /ill1 to aggravate my mis]y1 t w\ld run 9 my m9d1 ,y "k1 h[1 t aft]w>ds1 :5 he w\ld h inh]it$ ! bless+1 he 0 reject$4 ,oh6 no "o kn[s ! t]rors ( ^? days b myself4 #aed4 ,aft] ?is ,i began to consid] ( ,pet]'s s91 :i* he committ$ 9 d5y+ 8 ,ma/]3 & inde$1 ?is came nighe/ to m9e ( any t ,i c\ld f9d1 = he _h d5i$ 8 ,savi\r1 z ,i1 aft] light & m]cy receiv$2 yea1 & t too1 aft] w>n+ giv5 him4 ,i also consid]$1 t he did x bo? once & twice2 & t1 aft] "t to consid] betwixt4 ,b ?\gh ,i put all ^! circum/ances toge!r1 t1 if possible ,i might f9d help1 yet ,i consid]$ aga91 t 8 0 b a d5ial ( 8 ,ma/]1 b m9e 01 a sell+ ( my ,savi\r4 ,:]e=e ,i ?\ght ) myself1 t ,i came ne>] to ,judas1 ?an ei!r to ,david or ,pet]4 #aee4 ,"h aga9 my torm5t w\ld flame out & afflict me2 yea1 x w\ld gr9d me1 z x 7 to p[d]1 to consid] ! pres]vation ( ,god t[>ds o!rs1 :ile ,i fell into ! sn>e2 = 9 my ?us consid]+ ( o!r m5's s9s1 & comp>+ !m ) m9e own1 ,i c\ld evid5tly see1 ,god pres]v$ !m1 not)/&+ _! wick$ness1 & w\ld n let !m1 z ,he _h let me1 become a son ( p]dition4 #aef4 ,b oh6 h[ did my s\l at ?is "t prize ! pres]vation t ,god did set ab\t ,8 p6 ,ah1 h[ safely did ,i see !m walk1 :om ,god _h h$g$ 96 ,!y 7 )9 ,8 c>e1 protection1 & special provid5ce3 ?\gh !y 7 full z bad z ,i by nature2 yet because ,he lov$ !m1 ,he w\ld n suff] !m to fall )\t ! range ( m]cy3 b z = me1 ,i 0 gone1 ,i _h done x3 ,he w\ld n pres]ve me1 nor keep me2 b suff]$ me1 because ,i 0 a reprobate1 to fall z ,i _h done4 ,n[ did ^? bless$ places t speak ( ,god's keep+ ,8 p1 %9e l ! sun be=e me1 ?\gh n to com=t me1 yet to %[ me ! bless$ /ate & h]itage ( ^? :om ! ,"l _h bless$4 #aeg4 ,n[ ,i saw1 t z ,god _h ,8 h& 9 all ! provid5ces & disp5sations t ov]took ,8 elect2 s ,he _h ,8 h& 9 all ! temptations t !y _h to s9 aga9/ ,him2 n to animate !m to wick$ness1 b to *oose _! temptations & tr\bles = !m2 & also to leave !m = a "t1 to su* s9s only t might n de/roy1 b humble !m2 z might n put !m beyond1 b lay !m 9 ! way ( ! r5ew+ ,8 m]cy4 ,b oh6 :at love1 :at c>e1 :at k9dness & m]cy did ,i n[ see1 mix+ itself ) ! mo/ sev]e & dreadful ( all ,god's ways to ,8 p6 ,he w\ld let ,david1 ,hezekiah1 ,solomon1 ,pet]1 & o!rs1 fall2 b ,he w\ld n let !m fall into s9 unp>donable1 nor into hell = s94 ,oh6 ?\ght ,i1 ^! be ! m5 t ,god ha? lov$2 ^! be ! m5 t ,god1 ?\gh ,he *a/ise? !m1 keeps !m 9 safety by ,him2 & !m :om ,he makes to abide "u ! %ad[ ( ! ,almighty4 ,b all ^! ?\ghts add$ sorr[1 grief1 & horror to me1 z :atev] ,i n[ ?\ght on1 x 0 kill+ to me4 ,if ,i ?\ght h[ ,god kept ,8 own1 t 0 kill+ to me2 if ,i ?\ght ( h[ ,i 0 fall5 myself1 t 0 kill+ to me4 ,z all ?+s wr\ght toge!r = ! be/1 & to d good to !m t 7 ! call$1 accord+ to ,8 purpose1 s ,i ?\ght t all ?+s wr\ght = my damage1 & = my et]nal ov]?r[4 #aeh4 ,!n aga9 ,i began to comp>e my s9 ) ! s9 ( ,judas1 t1 if possible1 ,i might f9d if m9e diff]$ f t1 :i* 9 tru? is unp>donable3 & oh6 ?\ght ,i1 if x %\ld diff] f x1 ?\gh b ! bread? ( an hair1 :at a happy condition is my s\l 96 ,& by consid]+1 ,i f\nd t ,judas did ?is int5tionally1 b m9e 0 aga9/ my pray] & /riv+s3 besides1 8 0 committ$ ) mu* delib]ation1 b m9e 9 a fe>ful hurry1 on a sudd53 all ?is :ile ,i 0 toss$ to & fro l ! locu/s1 & driv5 f tr\ble to sorr[2 he>+ always ! s\nd ( ,esau's fall 9 m9e e>s1 & ! dreadful consequ5ces !re(4 #aei4 ,yet ?is consid]ation ab\t ,judas's s9 01 = a:ile1 "s little relief to me2 = ,i saw ,i _h n1 z to ! circum/ances1 transgress$ s fully z he4 ,b ?is 0 quickly gone aga91 = ,i ?\ght ) myself1 !re might be m ways ?an "o to commit ?is unp>donable s92 also ,i ?\ght !re might be degrees ( t1 z well z ( o!r transgressions2 :]e=e1 = aught ,i yet c\ld p]ceive1 ?is iniquity ( m9e might be su*1 z might nev] be pass$ by4 #afj4 ,i 0 (t5 n[ a%am$ t ,i %\ld be l su* an ugly man z ,judas3 ,i ?\ght also h[ loa?some ,i %\ld be unto all ! sa9ts at ! day ( judgm5t3 insomu* t n[ ,i c\ld sc>ce see a good man1 t ,i believ$ _h a good consci5ce1 b ,i %\ld feel my he>t tremble at him1 :ile ,i 0 9 8 pres5ce4 ,oh6 n[ ,i saw a glory 9 walk+ ) ,god1 & :at a m]cy x 0 to h a good consci5ce be=e ,him4 #afa4 ,i 0 mu* ab\t t "t tempt$ to cont5t myself by receiv+ "s false op9ion2 z1 t !re %\ld be no su* ?+ z a day ( judgm5t2 t we %\ld n rise aga92 & t s9 0 no su* griev\s ?+3 ! tempt] sugge/+ ?us3 ,= if ^! ?+s %\ld inde$ be true1 yet to believe o!rwise w\ld yield y ease = ! pres5t4 ,if y mu/ p]i%1 nev] torm5t y\rself s mu* be=eh&3 drive ! ?\ghts ( damn+ out ( y\r m9d1 by possess+ y\r m9d ) "s su* conclusions t ,a!i/s & ,rant]s use to help !mselves )al4 #afb4 ,b oh6 :5 su* ?\ghts h l$ ?r\gh my he>t1 h[1 z x 71 )9 a /ep1 ha? dea? & judgm5t be5 9 my view6 me?\ght ! judge /ood at ! door2 ,i 0 z if x 0 come already2 s t su* ?+s c\ld h no ent]ta9m5t4 ,b me?9ks1 ,i see by ?is1 t ,satan w use any means to keep ! s\l f ,*ri/2 he love? n an awak5$ frame ( _s2 security1 bl9dness1 d>kness1 & error1 is ! v k+dom & habitation ( ! wick$ "o4 #afc4 ,i f\nd x a h>d "w n[ to pray to ,god1 because despair 0 swall[+ me up2 ,i ?\ght ,i 0 z ) a tempe/ driv5 away f ,god2 = always :5 ,i cri$ to ,god = m]cy1 ?is w\ld come 91 ',tis too late1 ,i am lo/1 ,god ha? let me fall2 n to my correction1 b condemnation3 my s9 is unp>donable2 & ,i "k1 conc]n+ ,esau1 h[ t aft] he _h sold 8 bir?right1 he w\ld h receiv$ ! bless+1 b 0 reject$4 ,ab\t ?is "t ,i did light on t dreadful /ory ( t mis]able mortal ,francis ,spira2 a book t 0 to my tr\bl$ _s1 z salt1 :5 rubb$ into a fre% w\nd3 e s5t5ce 9 t book1 e groan ( t man1 ) all ! re/ ( 8 actions 9 8 dol\rs1 z 8 te>s1 8 pray]s1 8 gna%+ ( tee?1 8 wr++ ( h&s1 8 tw9+ & twi/+1 & langui%+1 & p9+ away "u t mighty h& ( ,god t 0 ^u him1 7 z knives & dagg]s 9 my s\l2 especially t s5t5ce ( 8 0 frightful to me1 ,man kn[s ! beg9n+ ( s98 b :o b\nds ! issues !re(8 ,!n w\ld ! =m] s5t5ce1 z ! conclusion ( all1 fall l an hot ?und]bolt aga9 ^u my consci5ce2 ,= y "k h[ t aft]w>ds1 :5 he w\ld h inh]it$ ! bless+1 he 0 reject$2 = he f\nd no place ( rep5tance1 ?\gh he s\ght x c>efully ) te>s4 #afd4 ,!n %\ld ,i be /ruck into a v great trembl+1 insomu* t at sometimes ,i c\ld1 = :ole days toge!r1 feel my v body1 z well z my m9d1 to %ake & tott] "u ! s5se ( ?is dreadful judgm5t ( ,god1 t %\ld fall on ^? t h s9n$ t mo/ fe>ful & unp>donable s94 ,i felt also su* a clogg+ & heat at my /oma*1 by reason ( ?is my t]ror1 t ,i 01 especially at "s times1 z if my brea/-bone w\ld split asund]2 !n ,i ?\ght ( t conc]n+ ,judas1 :o by fall+ headlong1 he bur/ asund] 9 ! mid/1 & all 8 b[els gu%$ out4 ,acts i4 #ah4 #afe4 ,i fe>$ also t ?is 0 ! m>k t ! ,"l did set on ,ca91 ev5 cont9ual fe> & trembl+1 "u ! heavy load ( guilt t he _h *>g$ on him = ! blood ( 8 bro!r ,abel4 ,?us did ,i w9d1 & tw9e1 & %r9k "u ! bur!n t 0 ^u me2 :i* bur!n also did s oppress me1 t ,i c\ld nei!r /&1 nor g1 nor lie1 ei!r at re/ or quiet4 #aff4 ,yet t say+ w\ld sometimes come into my m9d1 ,he ha? receiv$ gifts = ! rebelli\s4 ,psalm lxviii4 #ah4 ,! rebelli\s1 ?\ght ,i6 :y surely !y are su* z once 7 "u subjection to _! ,pr9ce2 ev5 ^? :o aft] !y h sworn subjection to ,8 gov]nm5t1 h tak5 up arms aga9/ ,him2 & ?is1 ?\ght ,i1 is my v condition3 ,i once lov$ ,him1 fe>$ ,him1 s]v$ ,him2 b n[ ,i am a rebel2 ,i h sold ,him1 ,i h said1 ,let ,him g1 if ,he w2 b yet ,he has gifts = rebels2 & !n :y n = me8 #afg4 ,?is sometimes ,i ?\ght on1 & %\ld lab\r to take hold !re(1 t "s1 ?\gh small refre%m5t1 might h be5 conceiv$ by me2 b 9 ?is also ,i miss$ ( my desire2 ,i 0 driv5 ) =ce beyond x2 ,i 0 l a man go+ to execution1 ev5 by t place :]e he w\ld fa9 creep 9 & hide himself1 b may n4 #afh4 ,aga91 aft] ,i _h ?us consid]$ ! s9s ( ! sa9ts 9 p>ticul>1 & f\nd m9e w5t beyond !m1 !n ,i began to ?9k ) myself1 ,set ! case ,i %\ld put all !irs toge!r1 & m9e alone aga9/ !m1 might ,i n !n f9d "s enc\ragem5t8 = if m9e1 ?\gh bigg] ?an any "o1 yet %\ld be b equal to all1 !n !re is hopes2 = t blood t ha? virtue en\gh 9 x to wa% away all !irs1 _h virtue en\gh 9 x to d away m9e1 ?\gh ?is "o be full z big1 if n bigg] ?an all !irs4 ,"h aga91 ,i %\ld consid] ! s9 ( ,david1 ( ,solomon1 ( ,manasseh1 ( ,pet]1 & ! re/ ( ! great (f5d]s2 & %\ld also lab\r1 :at ,i might ) fairness1 to aggravate & height5 _! s9s by sev]al circum/ances4 #afi4 ,i %\ld ?9k ) myself t ,david %$ blood to cov] 8 adult]y1 & t by ! sword ( ! *ildr5 ( ,ammon2 a "w t c\ld n be done1 b by cont9uance1 delib]ate contrivance1 :i* 0 a great aggravation to 8 s94 ,b !n ?is w\ld turn ^u me3 ,ah6 b ^! 7 b s9s aga9/ ! law1 f :i* !re 0 a ,jesus s5t to save !m2 b y\rs is a s9 aga9/ ! ,savi\r1 & :o %all save y f t8 #agj4 ,!n ,i ?\ght on ,solomon1 & h[ he s9n$ 9 lov+ /range wom51 fall+ away to _! idols1 9 build+ !m temples1 9 do+ ?is aft] light1 9 8 old age1 aft] great m]cy receiv$3 b ! same conclusion t cut me (f 9 ! =m] consid]ation1 cut me (f z to ?is2 namely1 t all ^? 7 b s9s aga9/ ! law1 = :i* ,god _h provid$ a rem$y2 b ,i _h sold my ,savi\r1 & !re rema9$ no m sacrifice = s94 #aga4 ,i w\ld !n add to ^! m5's s9s1 ! s9s ( ,manasseh2 h[ t he built alt>s = idols 9 ! h\se ( ! ,"l2 he also obs]v$ times1 us$ en*antm5ts1 _h to d ) wiz>ds1 0 a wiz>d1 _h 8 famili> spirits1 burn$ 8 *ildr5 9 ! fire 9 sacrifice to devils1 & made ! /reets ( ,j]usalem run d[n ) ! blood ( innoc5ts4 ,^!1 ?\ght ,i1 are great s9s1 s9s ( a bloody col\r1 b yet x w\ld turn aga9 ^u me1 ,!y are none ( !m ( ! nature ( y\rs2 y h p>t$ ) ,jesus1 y h sold y\r ,savi\r4 #agb4 ,?is "o consid]ation w\ld always kill my he>t1 my s9 0 po9t blank aga9/ my ,savi\r2 & t too1 at t height1 t ,i _h 9 my he>t said ( ,him1 ,let ,him g1 if ,he w4 ,oh6 me?\ght ?is s9 0 bigg] ?an ! s9s ( a c\ntry1 ( a k+dom1 or ( ! :ole _w1 no "o p>donable2 nor all ( !m toge!r1 0 able to equal m9e2 m9e out-w5t !m e "o4 #agc4 ,n[ ,i %\ld f9d my m9d to flee f ,god1 z f ! face ( a dreadful judge1 yet ?is 0 my torm5t1 ,i c\ld n escape ,8 h&3 7,x is a fe>ful ?+ to fall into ! h&s ( ! liv+ ,god4 ,hebrew x47 ,b1 bless$ be ,8 grace1 t scripture1 9 ^! fly+ fits1 w\ld call1 z runn+ aft] me1 ,i h blott$ out1 z a ?ick cl\d1 ?y transgressions2 & z a cl\d1 ?y s9s3 return unto ,me1 = ,i h r$eem$ !e4 ,isaiah xliv4 #bb4 ,?is1 ,i say1 w\ld come 9 ^u my m9d1 :5 ,i 0 flee+ f ! face ( ,god2 = ,i did flee f ,8 face2 t is1 my m9d & _s fl$ be=e ,him2 by reason ( ,8 highness1 ,i c\ld n endure3 !n w\ld ! text cry1 ,return unto ,me2 x w\ld cry al\d ) a v great voice1 ,return unto ,me1 = ,i h r$eem$ !e4 ,inde$1 ?is w\ld make me make a little /op1 &1 z x 71 look ov] my %\ld] beh9d me1 to see if ,i c\ld disc]n t ! ,god ( grace did foll[ me ) a p>don 9 ,8 h&2 b ,i c\ld no soon] d t1 b all w\ld be cl\d$ & d>k5$ aga9 by t s5t5ce1 ,= y "k1 h[ t aft]w>ds1 :5 he w\ld h inh]it$ ! bless+1 he f\nd no place ( rep5tance1 ?\gh he s\ght x c>efully ) te>s4 ,:]e=e ,i c\ld n refra91 b fl$1 ?\gh at "s times x cri$1 ,return1 return1 z if x did holl[ aft] me3 b ,i fe>$ to close 9 !re)1 le/ x %\ld n come f ,god2 = t o!r1 z ,i said1 0 /ill s\nd+ 9 my consci5ce1 ,= y "k t aft]w>ds1 :5 he w\ld h inh]it$ ! bless+1 he 0 reject$1 etc4 #agd4 ,once z ,i 0 walk+ to & fro 9 a good man's %op1 bemoan+ ( myself 9 my sad & doleful /ate1 afflict+ myself ) self-abhorr5ce = ?is wick$ & ungodly ?\ght2 lam5t+ also ?is h>d hap ( m9e = t ,i %\ld commit s great a s91 greatly fe>+ t ,i %\ld n be p>don$2 pray+ also 9 my he>t1 t if ?is s9 ( m9e did diff] f t aga9/ ! ,holy ,gho/1 ! ,"l w\ld %[ x me4 ,& be+ n[ ready to s9k ) fe>1 sudd5ly !re 01 z if !re _h ru%$ 9 at ! w9d[1 ! noise ( w9d ^u me1 b v pleasant1 & z if ,i he>d a voice speak+1 ,did'/ ?\ ev] refuse to be ju/ifi$ by ! blood ( ,*ri/8 & )al1 my :ole life ( pr(ession pa/1 0 9 a mom5t op5$ to me1 :]e9 ,i 0 made to see1 t design$ly ,i _h n3 s my he>t answ]$ groan+ly1 ,no4 ,!n fell1 ) p[]1 t ^w ( ,god ^u me1 ,see t ye refuse n ,him t speake?4 ,hebrew xii4 #be4 ,?is made a /range seizure ^u my _s2 x br\ght light ) x1 & comm&$ a sil5ce 9 my he>t1 ( all ^? tumultu\s ?\ghts1 t did be=e use1 l ma/]less hell-h\nds1 to ro> & bell[1 & make an hide\s noise )9 me4 ,x %[$ me also t ,jesus ,*ri/ _h yet a ^w ( grace & m]cy = me1 t ,he _h n1 z ,i _h fe>$1 q =sak5 & ca/ (f my s\l2 yea1 ?is 0 a k9d ( *ide = my pron5ess to desp]ation2 a k9d ( ?reat5+ ( me1 if ,i did n1 not)/&+ my s9s1 & ! he9\sness ( !m1 v5ture my salvation ^u ! ,son ( ,god4 ,b z to my det]m9+ ab\t ?is /range disp5sation1 :at x 01 ,i "k n2 or f :5ce x came1 ,i "k n2 ,i h n yet 9 tw5ty ye>s' "t be5 able to make a judgm5t ( x2 ,i ?\ght !n :at "h ,i %\ld be lo? to speak4 ,b v]ily t sudd5 ru%+ w9d 01 z if an angel _h come ^u me2 b bo? x1 & ! salutation1 ,i w leave until ! day ( judgm5t3 only ?is ,i say1 x comm&$ a great calm 9 my s\l2 x p]suad$ me !re might be hope3 x %[$ me1 z ,i ?\ght1 :at ! s9 unp>donable 01 & t my s\l _h yet ! bless$ privilege to flee to ,jesus ,*ri/ = m]cy4 ,b ,i say1 conc]n+ ?is disp5sation2 ,i "k n yet :at to say unto x2 :i* 0 also1 9 tru?1 ! cause1 t at fir/ ,i did n speak ( x 9 ! book2 ,i d n[ also leave x to be ?\ght on by m5 ( s\nd judgm5t4 ,i lay n ! /ress ( my salvation !reupon1 b ^u ! ,"l ,jesus1 9 ! promise2 yet see+ ,i am "h unfold+ ( my secret ?+s1 ,i ?\ght x might n be altoge!r inexp$i5t to let ?is also %[ itself1 ?\gh ,i _c n[ relate ! matt] z !re ,i did exp]i5ce x4 ,?is la/$ 9 ! sav\r ( x = ab\t ?ree or f\r days1 & !n ,i began to mi/ru/1 & to despair aga94 #age4 ,:]e=e /ill my life hung 9 d\bt be=e me1 n kn[+ :i* way ,i %\ld tip2 only ?is ,i f\nd my s\l desire1 ev5 to ca/ itself at ! foot ( grace1 by pray] & supplication4 ,b oh6 'twas h>d = me n[1 to h ! face to pray to ?is ,*ri/ = m]cy1 aga9/ ,:om ,i _h ?us mo/ vilely s9n$3 'twas h>d "w1 ,i say1 to (f] to look ,him 9 ! face1 aga9/ ,:om ,i _h s vilely s9n$2 & inde$1 ,i h f\nd x z difficult to come to ,god by pray]1 aft] backslid+ f ,him1 z to d any o!r ?+4 ,oh6 ! %ame t did n[ att5d me6 especially :5 ,i ?\ght1 ,i am n[ a-go+ to pray to ,him = m]cy1 t ,i _h s lightly e/eem$ b a :ile be=e6 ,i 0 a%am$2 yea1 ev5 conf\nd$1 because ?is villany _h be5 committ$ by me3 b ,i saw t !re 0 b "o way ) me2 ,i mu/ g to ,him1 & humble myself unto ,him1 & beg t ,he1 ( ,8 wond]ful m]cy1 w\ld %[ pity to me1 & h m]cy ^u my wret*$ s9ful s\l4 #agf4 ,:i*1 :5 ! tempt] p]ceiv$1 he /rongly sugge/$ to me1 ,t ,i ought n to pray to ,god1 = pray] 0 n = any 9 my case2 nei!r c\ld x d me good1 because ,i _h reject$ ! ,m$iator1 by ,:om all pray]s came ) acceptance to ,god ! ,fa!r2 & )\t ,:om1 no pray] c\ld come into ,8 pres5ce3 :]e=e n[ to pray1 is b to add s9 to s92 yea1 n[ to pray1 see+ ,god has ca/ y (f1 is ! next way to ang] & (f5d ,him m ?an y ev] did be=e4 #agg4 ,= ,god 7sai? he7 ha? be5 we>y ( y = ^! sev]al ye>s already1 because y are none ( ,82 y\r bawl+s 9 ,8 e>s1 ha? be5 no pleasant voice to ,him2 & !re=e ,he let y s9 ?is s91 t y might be q cut (f2 & w y pray /ill8 ,?is ! devil urg$1 & set =? t 9 ,numb]s1 :5 ,moses said to ! *ildr5 ( ,israel1 ,t because !y w\ld n g up to possess ! l&1 :5 ,god w\ld h !m1 !re=e = ev] aft] ,he did b> !m out f !nce1 ?\gh !y pray$ !y might ) te>s4 ,numb]s xiv4 #cf1 #cg1 etc4 #agh4 ,z x is said 9 ano!r place1 ,exodus xxi4 #ad1 ,! man t s9s presumptu\sly %all be tak5 f ,god's alt>1 t he may die2 ev5 z ,joab 0 by ,k+ ,solomon1 :5 he ?\ght to f9d %elt] !re4 #a ,k+s ii4 #bg1 #bh1 etc4 ,^! places did p9* me v sore2 yet my case be+ desp]ate1 ,i ?\ght ) myself1 ,i c b die2 & if x mu/ be s1 x %all once be said1 ,t su* an "o di$ at ! foot ( ,*ri/ 9 pray]4 ,?is ,i did1 b ) great difficulty1 ,god do? "k2 & t because1 toge!r ) ?is1 /ill t say+ ab\t ,esau w\ld be set at my he>t1 ev5 l a flam+ sword1 to keep ! way ( ! tree ( life1 le/ ,i %\ld take !re( & live4 ,oh6 :o kn[s h[ h>d a ?+ ,i f\nd x1 to come to ,god 9 pray]6 #agi4 ,i did also desire ! pray]s ( ! p ( ,god = me1 b ,i fe>$ t ,god w\ld give !m no he>t to d x2 yea ,i trembl$ 9 my s\l to ?9k1 t "s or o!r ( !m w\ld %ortly tell me1 t ,god ha? said ^? words to !m1 t ,he once did say to ! prophet conc]n+ ! *ildr5 ( ,israel1 ,pray n = ?is p1 = ,i h reject$ !m4 ,j]emiah xi4 #ad4 ,s1 ,pray n = him1 = ,i h reject$ him1 yea1 ,i ?\ght t ,he _h :isp]$ ?is to "s ( !m already1 only !y dur/ n tell me s2 nei!r dur/ ,i ask !m ( x1 = fe> if x %\ld be s1 x w\ld make me q beside myself3 ,man kn[s ! beg9n+ ( s9 7said ,spira71 b :o b\nds ! issues !re(8 #ahj4 ,ab\t ?is "t ,i took an opportunity to break my m9d to an anci5t ,*ri/ian1 & told him all my case3 ,i told him also1 t ,i 0 afraid t ,i _h s9n$ ! s9 aga9/ ! ,holy ,gho/2 & he told me1 ,he ?\ght s too4 ,"h !re=e ,i _h b cold com=t2 b talk+ a little m ) him1 ,i f\nd him1 ?\gh a good man1 a /rang] to mu* combat ) ! devil4 ,:]e=e ,i w5t to ,god aga91 z well z ,i c\ld1 = m]cy /ill4 ,picture3 ,bunyan seeks ,com=t #aha4 ,n[ also did ! tempt] beg9 to mock me 9 my mis]y1 say+1 ,t see+ ,i _h ?us p>t$ ) ! ,"l ,jesus1 & provok$ ,him to displeasure1 ,:o w\ld h /ood betwe5 my s\l & ! flame ( dev\r+ fire1 !re 0 n[ b "o way2 & t 01 to pray t ,god ! ,fa!r w\ld be a ,m$iator betwixt ,8 ,son & me2 t we might be reconcil$ aga91 & t ,i might h t bless$ b5efit 9 ,him1 t ,8 bless$ sa9ts enjoy$4 #ahb4 ,!n did t scripture seize ^u my s\l1 ,he is ( "o m9d1 & :o c turn ,him6 ,oh6 ,i saw1 x 0 z easy to p]suade ,him to make a new _w1 a new cov5ant1 or a new ,bible1 besides t we h already1 z to pray = su* a ?+4 ,?is 0 to p]suade ,him1 t :at ,he _h done already 0 m]e folly1 & p]suade ,him to alt]1 yea1 to disannul ! :ole way ( salvation4 ,& !n w\ld t say+ r5d my s\l asund]2 ,nei!r is !re salvation 9 any o!r2 = !re is none o!r "n "u heav5 giv5 among m5 :]eby we mu/ be sav$4 ,acts iv4 #ab4 #ahc4 ,n[ ! mo/ free1 & full & graci\s words ( ! gospel1 7 ! greate/ torm5t to me2 yea1 no?+ s afflict$ me1 z ! ?\ghts ( ,jesus ,*ri/1 ! remembrance ( a ,savi\r2 because ,i _h ca/ ,him (f1 br\ght =? ! villany ( my s91 & my loss by x1 to m9d2 no?+ did tw+e my consci5ce l ?is3 e "t t ,i ?\ght ( ! ,"l ,jesus1 ( ,8 grace1 love1 goodness1 k9dness1 g5tl5ess1 meekness1 dea?1 blood1 promises1 & bless$ exhortations1 com=ts1 & consolations1 x w5t to my s\l l a sword2 = /ill unto ^! my consid]ations ( ! ,"l ,jesus1 ^! ?\ghts w\ld make place = !mselves 9 my he>t3 ,aye1 ?is is ! ,jesus1 ! lov+ ,savi\r1 ! ,son ( ,god1 ,:om y h p>t$ )1 ,:om y h slight$1 despis$1 & abus$4 ,?is is ! only ,savi\r1 ! only ,r$eem]1 ! only ,"o t c\ld s love s9n]s1 z to wa% !m f _! s9s 9 ,8 own mo/ preci\s blood2 b y h no "p nor lot 9 ?is ,jesus3 y h put ,him f y2 y h said 9 y\r he>t1 ,let ,him g1 if ,he w4 ,n[1 !re=e1 y are sev]$ f ,him2 y h sev]$ y\rself f ,him3 behold !n ,8 goodness1 b y\rself to be no p>tak] ( x4 ,oh6 ?\ght ,i1 :at h ,i lo/1 :at h ,i p>t$ )6 ,:at has dis9h]it$ my poor s\l6 ,oh6 'tis sad to be de/roy$ by ! grace & m]cy ( ,god2 to h ! ,lamb1 ! ,savi\r1 turn lion & de/roy]4 ,rev4 vi4 ,i also trembl$1 z ,i h said1 at ! sight ( ! sa9ts ( ,god1 especially at ^? t greatly lov$ ,him1 & t made x _! bus9ess to walk cont9ually ) ,him 9 ?is _w2 = !y did1 bo? 9 _! words1 _! c>riages1 & all _! expressions ( t5d]ness & fe> to s9 aga9/ _! preci\s ,savi\r1 condemn1 lay guilt ^u1 & also add cont9ual affliction & %ame ^u my s\l4 ,! dread ( !m 0 ^u me1 & ,i trembl$ at ,god's ,samuels4 #a ,sam4 xvi4 #d4 #ahd4 ,n[ also ! tempt] began afre% to mock my s\l ano!r way1 say+1 ,t ,*ri/ inde$ did pity my case1 & 0 sorry = my loss2 b =asmu* z ,i _h s9n$ & transgress$ z ,i _h done1 ,he c\ld by no means help me1 nor save me f :at ,i fe>$3 = my s9 0 n ( ! nature ( !irs1 = ,:om ,he bl$ & di$2 nei!r 0 x c\nt$ ) ^? t 7 laid to ,8 *>ge1 :5 ,he hang$ on a tree3 !re=e1 unless ,he %\ld come d[n f heav51 & die anew = ?is s91 ?\gh inde$ ,he did greatly pity me1 yet ,i c\ld h no b5efit ( ,him4 ,^! ?+s may seem ridicul\s to o!rs1 ev5 z ridicul\s z !y 7 9 !mselves1 b to me !y 7 mo/ torm5t+ cogitations3 e "o ( !m augm5t$ my mis]y1 t ,jesus ,*ri/ %\ld h s mu* love z to pity me1 :5 yet ,he c\ld n help me2 nor did ,i ?9k t ! reason :y ,he c\ld n help me1 01 because ,8 m]its 7 weak1 or ,8 grace & salvation sp5t on o!rs already1 b because ,8 fai?fulness to ,8 ?reat5+1 w\ld n let ,him ext5d ,8 m]cy to me4 ,besides1 ,i ?\ght1 z ,i h already h9t$1 t my s9 0 n )9 ! b\nds ( t p>don1 t 0 wrapp$ up 9 a promise2 & if n1 !n ,i knew assur$ly1 t x 0 m easy = heav5 & e>? to pass away1 ?an = me to h et]nal life4 ,s t ! gr\nd ( all ^! fe>s ( m9e did arise f a /eadfa/ belief ,i _h ( ! /ability ( ! holy ^w ( ,god1 & also f my be+ mis9=m$ ( ! nature ( my s94 #ahe4 ,b oh6 h[ ?is w\ld add to my affliction1 to conceit t ,i %\ld be guilty ( su* a s91 = :i* ,he did n die4 ,^! ?\ghts w\ld s conf\nd me1 & imprison me1 & tie me up f fai?1 t ,i knew n :at to d4 ,b oh6 ?\ght ,i1 t ,he w\ld come d[n aga96 ,oh6 t ! "w ( man's r$emption 0 yet to be done by ,*ri/6 h[ w\ld ,i pray ,him & entreat ,him to c\nt & reckon ?is s9 among ! re/ = :i* ,he di$6 ,b ?is scripture w\ld /rike me d[n z dead2 ,*ri/ be+ rais$ f ! dead1 die? no m2 dea? ha? no m dom9ion ov] ,him4 ,rom4 vi4 #i4 #ahf4 ,?us1 by ! /range & unusual assaults ( ! tempt]1 my s\l 0 l a brok5 vessel1 driv5 z ) ! w9ds1 & toss$ sometimes headlong into despair2 sometimes ^u ! cov5ant ( works1 & sometimes to wi% t ! new cov5ant1 & ! conditions !re(1 might s f> =?1 z ,i ?\ght myself conc]n$1 be turn$ ano!r way1 & *ang$1 ,b 9 all ^!1 ,i 0 z ^? t jo/le aga9/ ! rocks2 m brok51 scatt]$ & r5t4 ,oh6 ! un-?\ght-( imag9ations1 frights1 fe>s1 & t]rors1 t are affect$ by a ?or\gh application ( guilt yield+ to desp]ation6 ,?is is ! man t ha? 8 dwell+ among ! tombs ) ! dead2 t is always cry+ out1 & cutt+ himself ) /ones4 ,m>k v4 #a1 #b1 #c4 ,b1 ,i say1 all 9 va92 desp]ation w n com=t him1 ! old cov5ant w n save him3 nay1 heav5 & e>? %all pass away1 be=e "o jot or tittle ( ! ^w & law ( grace w fail or be remov$4 ,?is ,i saw1 ?is ,i felt1 & "u ?is ,i groan$2 yet ?is advantage ,i got !reby1 namely1 a f>!r confirmation ( ! c]ta9ty ( ! way ( salvation2 & t ! scriptures 7 ! ^w ( ,god4 ,oh6 ,i _c n[ express :at !n ,i saw & felt ( ! /ead9ess ( ,jesus ,*ri/1 ! rock ( man's salvation3 ,:at 0 done1 c\ld n be undone1 add$ to1 nor alt]$4 ,i saw1 inde$1 t s9 might drive ! s\l beyond ,*ri/1 ev5 ! s9 :i* is unp>donable2 b woe to him t 0 s driv51 = ! ^w w\ld %ut him out4 #ahg4 ,?us ,i 0 always s9k+1 :atev] ,i did ?9k or d4 ,s "o day ,i walk$ to a neighb\r+ t[n1 & sate d[n ^u a settle 9 ! /reet1 & fell into a v deep pause ab\t ! mo/ fe>ful /ate my s9 _h br\ght me to2 & aft] long mus+1 ,i lift$ up ,i sat my head1 b me?\ght ,i saw1 z if ! sun t %9e? 9 ! heav5s did grudge to give light2 & z if ! v /ones 9 ! /reet1 & tiles ^u ! h\ses1 did b5d !mselves aga9/ me4 ,me?\ght t !y all comb9$ toge!r to bani% me out ( ! _w4 ,i 0 abhorr$ ( !m1 & unfit to dwell among !m1 or be p>tak] ( _! b5efits1 because ,i _h s9n$ aga9/ ! ,savi\r4 ,o h[ happy n[ 0 e creature ov] ,i 06 ,= !y /ood fa/1 & kept _! /ation1 b ,i 0 gone & lo/4 #ahh4 ,!n break+ out 9 ! bitt]ness ( my s\l1 ,i said to myself ) a griev\s sigh1 ,h[ c ,god com=t su* a wret*6 ,i _h no soon] said x1 b ?is return$ ^u me1 z an e*o do? answ] a voice3 ,?is s9 is n unto dea?4 ,at :i* ,i 01 z if ,i _h be5 rais$ out ( ! grave1 & cri$ out aga91 ,"l1 h[ c\ld/ ,?\ f9d out su* a ^w z ?is6 ,= ,i 0 fill$ ) admiration at ! fitness1 & at ! unexpect$ness ( ! s5t5ce2 ! fitness ( ! ^w1 ! rightness ( ! tim+ ( x2 ! p[]1 & sweetness1 & light1 & glory t came ) x also1 7 m>vell\s to me to f9d3 ,i 0 n[1 = ! "t1 out ( d\bt1 z to t ab\t :i* ,i 0 s mu* 9 d\bt be=e2 my fe>s be=e 71 t my s9 0 n p>donable1 & s t ,i _h no "r to pray1 to rep5t1 etc41 or t1 if ,i did1 x w\ld be ( no advantage or pr(it to me4 ,b n[1 ?\ght ,i1 if ?is s9 is n unto dea?1 !n x is p>donable2 !re=e f ?is ,i h enc\ragem5t to come to ,god by ,*ri/ = m]cy1 to consid] ! promise ( =giv5ess1 z t :i* /&s ) op5 arms to receive me z well z o!rs4 ,?is !re=e 0 a great easem5t to my m9d1 to wit1 t my s9 0 p>donable1 t x 0 n ! s9 unto dea? 7#a ,john v4 #af1 #ag74 ,none b ^? t "k :at my tr\ble 7by _! own exp]i5ce7 01 c tell :at relief came to my s\l by ?is consid]ation3 x 0 a release to me f my =m] bonds1 & a %elt] f ! =m] /orm3 ,i seem$ n[ to /& ^u ! same gr\nd ) o!r s9n]s1 & to h z good "r to ! ^w & pray] z any ( !y4 #ahi4 ,n[ ,i say1 ,i 0 9 hopes t my s9 0 n unp>donable1 b t !re might be hopes = me to obta9 =giv5ess4 ,b oh6 h[ ,satan did n[ lay ab\t him = to br+ me d[n aga96 ,b he c\ld by no means d x1 nei!r ?is day1 nor ! mo/ "p ( ! next1 = ?is good s5t5ce /ood l a mill-po/ at my back3 yet t[>ds ! ev5+ ( ! next day1 ,i felt ?is ^w beg9 to leave me1 & to )draw its supportation f me1 & s ,i return$ to my old fe>s aga91 b ) a great deal ( grudg+ & peevi%ness1 = ,i fe>$ ! sorr[ ( despair2 nor c\ld my fai? n[ long reta9 ?is ^w4 #aij4 ,b ! next day at ev5+1 be+ "u _m fe>s1 ,i w5t to seek ! ,"l1 & z ,i pray$1 ,i cri$1 & my s\l cri$ to ,him 9 ^! words1 ) /rong cries3 ,o ,"l1 ,i besee* ,!e1 %[ me t ,?\ ha/ lov$ me ) ev]la/+ love4 ,j]4 xxxi4 #c4 ,i _h no soon] said x1 b ) sweetness ?is return$ ^u me1 z an e*o1 or s\nd+ aga91 ,i h lov$ !e ) an ev]la/+ love4 ,n[ ,i w5t to b$ 9 quiet2 also :5 ,i awak5$ ! next morn+1 x 0 fre% ^u my s\l2 & ,i believ$ x4 #aia4 ,b yet ! tempt] left me n2 = x c\ld n be s little z an hundr$ times1 t he t day did lab\r to !n break my peace4 ,oh6 ! combats & conflicts t ,i did !n meet )2 z ,i /rove to hold by ?is ^w1 t ( ,esau w\ld fly 9 my face l lightn+3 ,i %\ld be sometimes up & d[n tw5ty times 9 an h\r2 yet ,god did be> me up1 & keep my he>t ^u ?is ^w2 f :i* ,i _h also1 = sev]al days toge!r1 v mu* sweetness1 & com=table hopes ( p>don3 = ?us x 0 made out unto me1 ,i lov$ !e :il/ ?\ wa/ committ+ ?is s91 ,i lov$ !e be=e1 ,i love !e /ill1 & ,i w love !e = ev]4 #aib4 ,yet ,i saw my s9 mo/ b>b>\s1 & a fil?y crime1 & c\ld n b conclude1 & t ) great %ame & a/oni%m5t1 t ,i _h horribly abus$ ! holy ,son ( ,god3 :]e=e ,i felt my s\l greatly to love & pity ,him1 & my b[els to ye>n t[>ds ,him2 = ,i saw ,he 0 /ill my fri5d1 & did rew>d me good = evil2 yea1 ! love & affection t !n did burn )9 to my ,"l & ,savi\r ,jesus ,*ri/1 did "w at ?is "t su* a /rong & hot desire ( rev5gem5t ^u myself = ! abuse ,i _h done unto ,him1 t to speak z ,i !n ?\ght1 _h ,i _h a ?\s& gallons ( blood )9 my ve9s1 ,i c\ld freely !n h spilt x all1 at ! comm& & feet ( ?is my ,"l & ,savi\r4 #aic4 ,& z ,i 0 ?us 9 mus+1 & 9 my /udies1 consid]+ h[ to love ! ,"l1 & to express my love to ,him1 t say+ came 9 ^u me1 ,if ,?\1 ,"l1 %\ld/ m>k iniquities1 ,o ,"l1 :o %\ld /&8 ,b !re is =giv5ess ) ,!e1 t ,?\ maye/ be fe>$4 ,psalm cxxx4 #c1 #d4 ,^! 7 good words to me1 especially ! latt] "p !re(2 to wit1 t !re is =giv5ess ) ! ,"l1 t ,he might be fe>$2 t is1 z !n ,i und]/ood x1 t ,he might be lov$1 & _h 9 rev]5ce2 = x 0 ?us made out to me1 ,t ! great ,god did set s high an e/eem ^u ! love ( ,8 poor creatures1 t r ?an ,he w\ld g )\t _! love1 ,he w\ld p>don _! transgressions4 #aid4 ,& n[ 0 t ^w fulfill$ on me1 & ,i 0 also refre%$ by x2 ,t ?\ maye/ rememb] & be conf\nd$1 & nev] op5 ?y m\? any m1 because ( ?y %ame1 :5 ,i am pacifi$ t[>d !e = all t ?\ ha/ done1 sai? ! ,"l ,god4 ,ezek4 xvi4 #fc4 ,?us 0 my s\l at ?is "t 7& z ,i !n did ?9k = ev]7 set at lib]ty f be+ afflict$ ) my =m] guilt & amazem5t4 #aie4 ,b be=e _m weeks 7 gone1 ,i began to despond aga91 fe>+1 le/1 not)/&+ all t ,i _h enjoy$1 t ,i might be deceiv$ & de/roy$ at ! la/2 = ?is consid]ation came /rong into my m9d1 ,t :atev] com=t & peace ,i ?\ght ,i might h f ! ^w ( ! promise ( life1 yet unless !re c\ld be f\nd 9 my refre%m5t1 a concurr5ce & agreem5t 9 ! scriptures1 let me ?9k :at ,i w !re(1 & hold x nev] s fa/1 ,i %\ld f9d no su* ?+ at ! end2 ,& ! scripture _c be brok54 ,john x4 #ce4 #aif4 ,n[ began my he>t aga9 to a*e1 & fe> ,i might meet ) a disappo9tm5t at la/4 ,:]e=e ,i began ) all s]i\sness to exam9e my =m] com=t1 & to consid] :e!r "o t _h s9n$ z ,i _h done1 might ) confid5ce tru/ ^u ! fai?fulness ( ,god1 laid d[n 9 ^? words1 by :i* ,i _h be5 com=t$1 & on :i* ,i _h lean$ myself3 b n[ 7 br\ght ^? say+s to my m9d4 ,= x is impossible = ^? :o 7 once enlight5$1 & h ta/$ ( ! heav5ly gift1 & 7 made p>tak]s ( ! ,holy ,gho/1 & h ta/$ ! good ^w ( ,god1 & ! p[]s ( ! _w to come1 if !y %all fall away1 to r5ew !m aga9 unto rep5tance4 ,heb4 vi4 #d-f4 ,=1 if we s9 wilfully1 aft] we h receiv$ ! k ( ! tru?1 !re rema9s no m sacrifice = s91 b a c]ta9 fe>ful look+ = ( judgm5t1 & fi]y indignation1 :i* %all dev\r ! adv]s>ies4 ,heb4 x4 #bf1 #bg4 ,z ,esau1 :o = "o morsel ( meat1 sold 8 bir?right4 ,= ye "k h[ t aft]w>d1 :5 he w\ld h inh]it$ ! bless+1 he 0 reject$2 = he f\nd no place ( rep5tance1 ?\gh he s\ght x c>efully ) te>s4 ,heb4 xii4 #af1 #ag4 #aig4 ,n[ 0 ! ^w ( ! gospel =c$ f my s\l2 s t no promise or enc\ragem5t 0 to be f\nd 9 ! ,bible = me3 & n[ w\ld t say+ "w ^u my _s to afflict me1 ,rejoice n1 ,o ,israel1 = joy1 z o!r p4 ,hos4 ix4 #a4 ,= ,i saw inde$1 !re 0 cause ( rejoic+ = ^? t held to ,jesus2 b = me1 ,i _h cut myself (f by my transgressions1 & left myself nei!r foot-hold1 or h&-hold1 among all ! /ays & props 9 ! preci\s ^w ( life4 #aih4 ,& truly1 ,i did n[ feel myself to s9k into a gulph1 z an h\se ^: f\ndation is de/roy$2 ,i did lik5 myself 9 ?is condition1 unto ! case ( "s *ild t 0 fall5 into a mill-pit1 :o ?\gh x c\ld make "s %ift to scramble & sprawl 9 ! wat]1 yet because x c\ld f9d nei!r hold = h& nor foot1 !re=e at la/ x mu/ die 9 t condition4 ,s soon z ?is fre% assault _h fa/5$ on my s\l1 t scripture came into my he>t1 ,?is = _m days4 ,dan4 x4 #ad4 ,& inde$ ,i f\nd x 0 s2 = ,i c\ld n be deliv]$1 nor br\ght to peace aga91 until well nigh two ye>s & a half 7 completely f9i%$4 ,:]e=e ^! words1 ?\gh 9 !mselves1 !y t5d$ to disc\ragem5t1 yet to me1 :o fe>$ ?is condition w\ld be et]nal1 !y 7 at "s times z an help & refre%m5t to me4 #aii4 ,=1 ?\ght ,i1 _m days are n = ev]1 _m days w h an end2 !re=e see+ ,i 0 to be afflict$ n a few b _m days1 yet ,i 0 glad x 0 b = _m days4 ,?us1 ,i say1 ,i w\ld recall myself sometimes1 & give myself an help1 = z soon z ev] ! words came into my m9d1 at fir/1 ,i knew my tr\ble w\ld be long1 yet ?is w\ld be b sometimes2 = ,i c\ld n always ?9k on ?is1 nor ev] be help$ by x1 ?\gh ,i did4 #bjj4 ,n[ :ile ! scriptures lay be=e me1 & laid s9 anew at my door1 t say+1 9 ,luke xviii4 #a1 ) o!rs1 did enc\rage me to pray]3 !n ! tempt] laid aga9 at me v sore1 sugge/+1 ,t nei!r ! m]cy ( ,god1 nor yet ! blood ( ,*ri/1 did at all conc]n me1 nor c\ld !y help me = my s92 !re=e x 0 b 9 va9 to pray4 ,yet1 ?\ght ,i1 ,i w pray4 ,b1 said ! tempt]1 y\r s9 is unp>donable4 ,well1 said ,i1 ,i w pray4 ',tis to no boot1 said he4 ,yet said ,i1 ,i w pray4 ,s ,i w5t to pray] to ,god2 & :ile ,i 0 at pray]1 ,i utt]$ words to ?is effect3 ,"l1 ,satan tells me1 t nei!r ,?y m]cy1 nor ,*ri/'s blood1 is suffici5t to save my s\l3 ,"l1 %all ,i hon\r ,!e mo/1 by believ+ ,?\ wilt1 & can/8 or him1 by believ+ ,?\ nei!r wilt n nor can/8 ,"l1 ,i w\ld fa9 hon\r ,!e1 by believ+ ,?\ wilt & can/4 #bja4 ,& z ,i 0 ?us be=e ! ,"l1 t scripture fa/5$ on my he>t 7,o man1 great is ?y fai?71 ,matt4 xv4 #bh1 ev5 z if "o _h clapp$ me on ! back1 z ,i 0 on my knees be=e ,god3 yet ,i 0 n able to believe ?is1 t ?is 0 a pray] ( fai?1 till almo/ six mon?s aft]2 = ,i c\ld n ?9k t ,i _h fai?1 or t !re %\ld be a ^w = me to act fai? on2 !re=e ,i %\ld /ill be1 z /ick+ 9 ! jaws ( desp]ation1 & w5t m\rn+ up & d[n 9 a sad condition4 #bjb4 ,!re 0 no?+ n[ t ,i long$ = m ?an to be put out ( d\bt1 z to ?is ?+ 9 "q1 & z ,i 0 vehem5tly desir+ to "k1 if !re 0 inde$ hope = me1 ^! words came roll+ into my m9d1 ,w ! ,"l ca/ (f = ev]8 & w ,he be fav\rable no m8 ,is ,8 m]cy clean gone = ev]8 ,do? ,8 promise fail = ev]more8 ,ha? ,god =gott5 to be graci\s8 ,ha? ,he 9 ang] %ut up ,8 t5d] m]cies8 ,ps4 lxxvii4 #g-i4 ,& all ! :ile !y run 9 my m9d1 me?\ght ,i _h /ill ?is z ! answ]1 ',tis a "q :e!r ,he ha? or no3 x may be ,he ha? n4 ,yea1 ! int]rogatory seem$ to me to c>ry 9 x a sure affirmation t inde$ ,he _h n1 nor w\ld s ca/ (f1 b w\ld be fav\rable3 t ,8 promise do? n fail1 & t ,he _h n =gott5 to be graci\s1 nor w\ld 9 ang] %ut up t5d] m]cy4 ,some?+ also !re 0 ^u my he>t at ! same "t1 :i* ,i _c n[ call to m9d1 :i*1 ) ?is text1 did sweet5 my he>t1 & make me conclude1 t ,8 m]cy might n be q gone1 nor clean gone = ev]4 #bjc4 ,at ano!r "t ,i rememb]$1 ,i 0 aga9 mu* "u ?is "q1 ,:e!r ! blood ( ,*ri/ 0 suffici5t to save my s\l8 9 :i* d\bt ,i cont9u$ f morn+1 till ab\t sev5 or eight at night3 & at la/1 :5 ,i 01 z x 71 q worn out ) fe>1 le/ x %\ld n lay hold on me1 ^! words did s\nd sudd5ly )9 my he>t3 ,he is able4 ,b me?\ght1 ?is ^w able1 0 spoke l\d unto me2 x %[$ a great ^w1 x seem$ to be writ 9 great lett]s1 & gave su* a jo/le to my fe> & d\bt 7,i mean = ! "t x t>ri$ ) me1 :i* 0 ab\t a day7 z ,i nev] _h f t1 all my life1 ei!r be=e or aft]4 ,heb4 vii4 #be4 #bjd4 ,b "o morn+ z ,i 0 aga9 at pray]1 & trembl+ "u ! fe> ( ?is1 ,t no ^w ( ,god c\ld help me1 t piece ( a s5t5ce d>t$ 9 ^u me1 ,my grace is suffici5t4 ,at ?is1 me?\ght ,i felt "s /ay1 z if !re might be hopes4 ,b1 oh6 h[ good a ?+ x is = ,god to s5d ,8 ^w6 =1 ab\t a =tnight be=e1 ,i 0 look+ on ?is v place1 & !n ,i ?\ght x c\ld n come ne> my s\l ) com=t1 !re=e ,i ?rew d[n my book 9 a pet3 !n ,i ?\ght x 0 n l>ge en\gh = me2 no1 n l>ge en\gh2 b n[ x 0 z if x _h arms ( grace s wide1 t x c\ld n only enclose me1 b _m m su* z ,i besides4 #bje4 ,by ^! words ,i 0 su/a9$1 yet n )\t exce$+ conflicts1 = ! space ( sev5 or eight weeks2 = my peace w\ld be 9 x1 & out1 sometimes tw5ty times a day2 com=t n[1 & tr\ble pres5tly2 peace n[1 & be=e ,i c\ld g a furlong1 z full ( fe> & guilt z ev] he>t c\ld hold4 ,& ?is 0 n only n[ & !n1 b my :ole sev5 weeks' exp]i5ce3 = ?is ab\t ! suffici5cy ( grace1 & t ( ,esau's p>t+ ) 8 bir?right1 w\ld be l a pair ( scales )9 my m9d2 sometimes "o end w\ld be upp]mo/1 & sometimes aga9 ! o!r2 accord+ to :i* w\ld be my peace or tr\ble4 #bjf4 ,!re=e ,i did /ill pray to ,god1 t ,he w\ld come 9 ) ?is scripture m fully on my he>t2 to wit1 t ,he w\ld help me to apply ! :ole s5t5ce1 = z yet ,i c\ld n3 t ,he gave1 t ,i ga!r$2 b f>!r ,i c\ld n g1 = z yet x only help$ me to hope !re might be m]cy = me2 ,my grace is suffici5t3 ,& ?\gh x came no f>!r1 x answ]$ my =m] "q1 to wit1 ,t !re 0 hope2 yet because = !e 0 left out1 ,i 0 n cont5t$1 b pray$ to ,god = t also4 ,:]e=e1 "o day1 :5 ,i 0 9 a meet+ ( ,god's p1 full ( sadness & t]ror2 = my fe>s aga9 7 /rong ^u me2 &1 z ,i 0 n[ ?9k+1 my s\l 0 nev] ! bett]1 b my case mo/ sad & fe>ful1 ^! words did ) great p[] sudd5ly break 9 ^u me2 ,my grace is suffici5t = !e1 ,my grace is suffici5t = !e1 ,my grace is suffici5t = !e1 ?ree times toge!r3 ,& oh6 me?\ght t e ^w 0 a mighty ^w unto me2 z ,my1 & grace1 & suffici5t1 & = !e2 !y 7 !n1 & sometimes are /ill1 f> bigg] ?an o!rs be4 #bjg4 ,at :i* "t my und]/&+ 0 s enlight5$1 t ,i 0 z ?\gh ,i _h se5 ! ,"l ,jesus look d[n f heav51 ?r\gh ! tiles ^u me1 & direct ^! words unto me4 ,?is s5t me m\rn+ home2 x broke my he>t1 & fill$ me full ( joy1 & laid me l[ z ! du/2 only x /ay$ n long ) me1 ,i mean 9 ?is glory & refre%+ com=t2 yet x cont9u$ ) me = sev]al weeks1 & did enc\rage me to hope3 b z soon z t p[]ful op]ation ( x 0 tak5 f my he>t1 t o!r1 ab\t ,esau1 return$ ^u me z be=e3 s my s\l did hang z 9 a pair ( scales aga91 sometimes up1 & sometimes d[n2 n[ 9 peace1 & anon aga9 9 t]ror4 #bjh4 ,?us ,i w5t on = _m weeks1 sometimes com=t$1 & sometimes torm5t$2 & especially at sometimes my torm5t w\ld be v sore1 = all ^? scriptures =5am$ 9 ! ,hebrews1 w\ld be set be=e me1 z ! only s5t5ces t w\ld keep me out ( heav54 ,!n aga9 ,i w\ld beg9 to rep5t t ev] t ?\ght w5t ?r\gh me2 ,i w\ld also ?9k ?us ) myself3 ,:y1 h[ _m scriptures are !re aga9/ me8 ,!re are b ?ree or f\r2 ,& _c ,god miss !m1 & save me = all !m8 ,sometimes aga9 ,i w\ld ?9k1 ,oh6 if x 7 n = ^! ?ree or f\r words1 n[ h[ might ,i be com=t$6 ,& ,i c\ld h>dly =be> at "s times1 to wi% !m out ( ! book4 #bji4 ,!n me?\ght ,i %\ld see z if bo? ,pet] & ,paul1 & ,john1 & all ! writ]s1 did look ) scorn ^u me1 & hold me 9 d]ision2 & z if !y _h said unto me1 ,all our words are tru?1 "o ( z mu* =ce z ano!r3 x is n we t h cut y (1 b y h ca/ away y\rself4 ,!re is none ( our s5t5ces t y mu/ take hold ^u1 b ^! & su* z ^!2 x is impossible1 ,heb4 vi42 !re rema9s no m sacrifice = s91 ,heb4 x4 ,& x _h be5 bett] = !m n to h kn[n ! w ( ,god1 ?an aft] !y _h kn[n x1 to turn f ! holy comm&m5t deliv]$ unto !m1 #b ,pet] ii4 #ba4 ,= ! ,scriptures _c be brok54 ,john x4 #ce4 #baj4 ,^!1 z ! eld]s ( ! city ( refuge1 ,i saw1 7 to be judges bo? ( my case & me1 :ile ,i /ood ) ! av5g] ( blood at my heels1 trembl+ at _! gate = deliv]ance2 also ) a ?\s& fe>s & mi/ru/s1 ,i d\bt$ t !y w\ld %ut me out = ev]4 ,jo%ua xx4 #c4 #d4 #baa4 ,?us ,i 0 conf\nd$1 n kn[+ :at to d1 or h[ to be satisfi$ 9 ?is "q1 ,:e!r ! scriptures c\ld agree 9 ! salvation ( my s\l8 ,i quak$ at ! apo/les2 ,i knew _! words 7 true1 & t !y mu/ /& = ev]4 #bab4 ,& ,i rememb] "o day1 z ,i 0 9 div]s frames ( _s1 & consid]+ t ^! frames 7 accord+ to ! nature ( sev]al scriptures t came 9 ^u my m9d2 if ?is ( grace1 !n 0 ,i quiet2 b ( t ( ,esau1 !n torm5t$4 ,"l1 ?\ght ,i1 if bo? ^! scriptures %\ld meet 9 my he>t at once1 ,i wond] :i* ( !m w\ld get ! bett] ( me4 ,s me?\ght ,i _h a long+ m9d t !y might come bo? toge!r ^u me2 yea1 ,i desir$ ( ,god !y might4 #bac4 ,well1 ab\t two or ?ree days aft]1 s !y did inde$2 !y bolt$ bo? ^u me at a "t1 & did "w & /ruggle /rangely 9 me = a :ile2 at la/ t ab\t ,esau's bir?right began to wax weak1 & )draw1 & vani%2 & ?is1 ab\t ! suffici5cy ( grace prevail$ ) peace & joy4 ,& z ,i 0 9 a muse ab\t ?is ?+1 t scripture came 9 ^u me1 ,m]cy rejoice? aga9/ judgm5t4 ,james ii4 #ac4 #bad4 ,?is 0 a wond]m5t to me2 yet truly1 ,i am apt to ?9k x 0 ( ,god2 = ! ^w ( ! law & wra?1 mu/ give place to ! ^w ( life & grace2 because1 ?\gh ! ^w ( condemnation be glori\s1 yet ! ^w ( life & salvation do? f> exce$ 9 glory4 #b ,cor4 iii4 #h-aa4 ,m>k ix4 #e-g4 ,john vi4 #cg4 ,also t ,moses & ,elias mu/ bo? vani%1 & leave ,*ri/ & ,8 sa9ts alone4 #bae4 ,?is scripture also did n[ mo/ sweetly visit my s\l2 ,& him t come? to ,me1 ,i w 9 no wise ca/ out4 ,oh6 ! com=t t ,i _h f ?is ^w1 9 no wise6 ,z :o %\ld say1 ,by no means1 = no?+ :atev] he ha? done4 ,b ,satan w\ld greatly lab\r to pull ?is promise f me1 tell+ ( me1 ,t ,*ri/ did n mean me & su* z ,i1 b s9n]s ( a l[] rank1 t _h n done z ,i _h done4 ,b ,i w\ld answ] him aga91 ,satan1 "h is 9 ^! words no su* exception2 b him t comes1 him1 any him3 him t come? to ,me ,i w 9 no wise ca/ out4 ,& ?is ,i well rememb] /ill1 t ( all ! slights t ,satan us$ to take ?is scripture f me1 yet he nev] did s mu* z put ?is "q1 ,b d y come aright8 ,& ,i h ?\ght ! reason 01 because he ?\ght ,i knew full well :at com+ aright 02 = ,i saw t to come aright1 0 to come z ,i 01 a vile & ungodly s9n]1 & to ca/ myself at ! feet ( m]cy1 condemn+ myself = s94 ,if ev] ,satan & ,i did /rive = any ^w ( ,god 9 all my life1 x 0 = ?is good ^w ( ,*ri/2 he at "o end1 & ,i at ! o!r3 ,oh6 :at "w did we make6 ,x 0 = ?is 9 ,john1 ,i say1 t we did s tug & /rive1 he pull$1 & ,i pull$2 b ,god be prais$1 ,i got ! bett] ( him2 ,i got "s sweetness f x4 #baf4 ,b not)/&+ all ^! helps1 & bless$ words ( grace1 yet t ( ,esau's sell+ ( 8 bir?right1 w\ld /ill at times di/ress my consci5ce3 = ?\gh ,i _h be5 mo/ sweetly com=t$1 & t b j be=e1 yet :5 t came into my m9d1 'tw\ld make me fe> aga93 ,i c\ld n be q rid !re(1 'tw\ld e day be ) me3 :]e=e n[ ,i w5t ano!r way to "w1 ev5 to consid] ! nature ( ?is blasphem\s ?\ght1 ,i mean1 if ,i %\ld take ! words at ! l>ge/1 & give !m _! own natural =ce & scope1 ev5 e ^w !re93 s :5 ,i _h ?us consid]$1 ,i f\nd1 t if !y 7 fairly tak51 !y w\ld am\nt to ?is2 ,t ,i _h freely left ! ,"l ,jesus ,*ri/ to ,8 *oice1 :e!r ,he w\ld be my ,savi\r or no2 = ! wick$ words 7 ^!1 ,let ,him g1 if ,he w4 ,!n t scripture gave me hope1 ,i w nev] leave !e1 nor =sake !e4 ,heb4 xiii4 #e4 #8,o ,"l1' said ,i1 b ,i h left ,!e4 ,!n x answ]$ aga91 ,b ,i w n leave !e4 ,= ?is ,i ?ank$ ,god also4 #bag4 ,yet ,i 0 griev\s afraid ,he %\ld1 & f\nd x exce$+ h>d to tru/ ,him1 see+ ,i _h s (f5d$ ,him3 ,i c\ld h be5 exce$+ glad t ?is ?\ght _h nev] befall52 = !n ,i ?\ght ,i c\ld ) m ease & fre$om 9 abundance1 h lean$ on ,8 grace4 ,i saw x 0 ) me1 z x 0 ) ,joseph's bre?r52 ! guilt ( _! own wick$ness did (t5 fill !m ) fe>s t _! bro!r w\ld at la/ despise !m4 ,g54 l4 #ae1 #af1 etc4 #bah4 ,yet above all ! scriptures t ,i yet did meet ) t 9 ,jo%ua xx4 0 ! greate/ com=t to me1 :i* speaks ( ! slay] t 0 to flee = refuge3 ,& if ! av5g] ( blood pursue ! slay]1 !n sai? ,moses1 !y t are ! eld]s ( ! city ( refuge %all n deliv] him into 8 h&s1 because he smote 8 neighb\r unwitt+ly & hat$ him n a=etime4 ,oh6 bless$ be ,god = ?is ^w3 ,i 0 conv9c$ t ,i 0 ! slay]2 & t ! av5g] ( blood pursu$ me1 ,i felt ) great t]ror2 only n[ x rema9$ t ,i inquire :e!r ,i h "r to ent] ! city ( refuge3 s ,i f\nd1 t he mu/ n1 :o lay 9 wait to %$ blood3 ,x 0 n ! wilful murd]]1 b he :o unwitt+ly did x1 he :o did x unaw>es2 n out ( spite1 or grudge1 or malice1 he t %$ x unwitt+ly3 ev5 he :o did n hate 8 neighb\r be=e4 ,:]e=e1 #bai4 ,i ?\ght v]ily ,i 0 ! man t mu/ ent]1 because ,i _h smitt5 my neighb\r unwitt+ly1 & hat$ ,him n a=etime4 ,i hat$ ,him n a=etime2 no1 ,i pray$ unto ,him1 0 t5d] ( s9n+ aga9/ ,him2 yea1 & aga9/ ?is wick$ temptation ,i _h /rove = a twelvemon? be=e2 yea1 & also :5 x did pass ?r\gh my he>t1 x did 9 spite ( my tee?3 :]e=e ,i ?\ght ,i _h a "r to ent] ?is city1 & ! eld]s1 :i* are ! apo/les1 7 n to deliv] me up4 ,?is !re=e 0 great com=t to me1 & gave me mu* gr\nd ( hope4 #bbj4 ,yet be+ v critical1 = my sm>t _h made me t ,i knew n :at gr\nd 0 sure en\gh to be> me1 ,i _h "o "q t my s\l did mu* desire to be resolv$ ab\t2 & t 01 ,:e!r x be possible = any s\l t ha? s9n$ ! unp>donable s91 yet aft] t to receive1 ?\gh b ! lea/1 true spiritual com=t f ,god ?\gh ,*ri/8 ,! :i* aft] ,i _h mu* consid]$1 ,i f\nd ! answ] 01 ,no1 !y c\ld n2 & t = ^! reasons3-- #bba4 ,fir/1 ,because ^? t h s9n$ t s91 !y are deb>r$ a %>e 9 ! blood ( ,*ri/2 & be+ %ut out ( t1 !y mu/ ne$s be void ( ! lea/ gr\nd ( hope1 & s ( spiritual com=t2 ,= to su* !re rema9s no m sacrifice = s94 ,heb4 x4 #bf1 #bg4 ,secondly1 ,because !y are d5i$ a %>e 9 ! promise ( life3 ,x %all nev] be =giv5 him nei!r 9 ?is _w1 nei!r 9 ! _w to come4 ,matt4 xii4 #cb4 ,?irdly1 ,! ,son ( ,god excludes !m also f a %>e 9 ,8 bless$ int]cession1 be+ = ev] a%am$ to own !m1 bo? be=e ,8 holy ,fa!r1 & ! bless$ angels 9 heav54 ,m>k viii4 #bbb4 ,:5 ,i _h ) mu* delib]ation consid]$ ( ?is matt]1 & c\ld n b conclude t ! ,"l _h com=t$ me1 & t too aft] ?is my wick$ s93 !n me?\ght ,i dur/ v5ture to come nigh unto ^? mo/ fe>ful & t]rible scriptures1 ) :i* all ?is :ile ,i _h be5 s greatly affright$1 & on :i* inde$1 be=e ,i dur/ sc>ce ca/ m9e eye 7yea1 _h mu* ado an hundr$ times1 to =be> wi%+ !m out ( ! ,bible71 = ,i ?\ght !y w\ld de/roy me2 b n[1 ,i say1 ,i began to take "s measure ( enc\ragem5t1 to come close to !m to read !m1 & consid] !m1 & to weigh _! scope & t5d5cy4 #bbc4 ,! :i* :5 ,i began to d1 ,i f\nd _! visage *ang$3 = !y look$ n s grimly1 z be=e ,i ?\ght !y did3 & fir/ ,i came to ! six? ( ! ,hebrews1 yet trembl+ = fe> x %\ld /rike me2 :i* :5 ,i _h consid]$1 ,i f\nd t ! fall+ !re int5d$1 0 a fall+ q away2 t is z ,i conceiv$1 a fall+ f & absolute d5y+ ( ! gospel1 ( remission ( s9s by ,jesus ,*ri/2 =1 f !m ! apo/le beg9s 8 argum5t1 v]ses #a1 #b1 #c1 #d4 ,secondly1 ,i f\nd t ?is fall+ away1 mu/ be op5ly1 ev5 9 ! view ( ! _w1 ev5 s z to put ,*ri/ to an op5 %ame4 ,?irdly1 ,i f\nd ^? he !re int5d$1 7 = ev] %ut up ( ,god1 bo? 9 bl9dness1 h>dness1 & imp5it5cy3 ,x is impossible !y %\ld be r5ew$ aga9 unto rep5tance4 ,by all ^! p>ticul>s1 ,i f\nd to ,god's ev]la/+ praise1 my s9 0 n ! s9 9 ?is place int5d$4 ,fir/1 ,i confess$ ,i 0 fall51 b n fall5 away2 t is1 f ! pr(ession ( fai? 9 ,jesus unto et]nal life4 ,secondly1 ,i confess$ t ,i _h put ,jesus ,*ri/ to %ame by my s91 b n to op5 %ame2 ,i did n d5y ,him be=e m51 nor condemn ,him z a fruitless ,"o be=e ! _w4 ,?irdly1 ,nor did ,i f9d t ,god _h %ut me up1 or d5i$ me to come 7?\gh ,i f\nd x h>d "w inde$ to come7 to ,him by sorr[ & rep5tance3 bless$ be ,god = unse>*able grace6 #bbd4 ,!n ,i consid]$ t 9 ! #aj? *apt] ( ! ,hebrews1 & f\nd t ! wilful s9 !re m5tion$1 is n e wilful s91 b t :i* do? ?r[ (f ,*ri/1 & !n ,8 comm&m5ts too4 ,secondly1 ,t mu/ be done also op5ly1 be=e two or ?ree witnesses1 to answ] t ( ! law1 v]se #bh4 ,?irdly1 ,?is s9 _c be committ$1 b ) great despite done to ! ,_s ( ,grace2 despis+ bo? ! dissuasions f t s91 & ! p]suasions to ! contr>y4 ,b ! ,"l kn[s1 ?\gh ?is my s9 0 devili%1 yet x did n am\nt to ^!4 #bbe4 ,& z t\*+ t 9 ! #ab? ( ! ,hebrews1 ab\t ,esau's sell+ ( 8 bir?right2 ?\gh ?is 0 t :i* kill$ me1 & /ood l a spe> aga9/ me1 yet n[ ,i did consid]1 ,fir/1 t 8 0 n a ha/y ?\ght aga9/ ! cont9ual lab\r ( 8 m9d1 b a ?\ght cons5t$ to1 & put 9 practice likewise1 & t aft] "s delib]ation1 ,g54 xxv4 ,secondly1 ,x 0 a public & op5 action1 ev5 be=e 8 bro!r1 if n be=e _m m2 ?is made 8 s9 ( a f> m he9\s nature ?an o!rwise x w\ld h be54 ,?irdly1 ,he cont9u$ to slight 8 bir?right3 ,he did eat & dr9k1 & w5t 8 way3 ?us ,esau despis$ 8 bir?right1 yea1 tw5ty ye>s aft] he 0 f\nd to despise x /ill4 ,& ,esau said1 ,i h en\gh1 my bro!r1 keep t ?\ ha/ unto ?yself4 ,g54 xxxiii4 #i4 #bbf4 ,n[ z t\*+ ?is1 t ,esau s\ght a place ( rep5tance2 ?us ,i ?\ght3 ,fir/1 ,?is 0 n = ! bir?right1 b ! bless+3 ?is is cle> f ! apo/le1 & is di/+ui%$ by ,esau himself2 ,he took away my bir?right 7t is1 =m]ly72 & behold n[ he ha? tak5 away my bless+4 ,g54 xxvii4 #cf4 ,secondly1 ,n[1 ?is be+ ?us consid]$1 ,i came aga9 to ! apo/le1 to see :at might be ! m9d ( ,god1 9 a ,new-,te/am5t /yle & s5se conc]n+ ,esau's s92 & s f> z ,i c\ld conceive1 ?is 0 ! m9d ( ,god1 t ! bir?right signifi$ reg5]ation1 & ! bless+1 ! et]nal inh]itance2 = s ! apo/le seems to h9t4 ,le/ !re be any pr(ane p]son1 z ,esau1 :o = "o morsel ( meat sold 8 bir?right2 z if he %\ld say1 ,t %all ca/ (f all ^? bless$ beg9n+s ( ,god1 t at pres5t are ^u him1 9 ord] to a new-bir?2 le/ !y become z ,esau1 ev5 be reject$ aft]w>ds1 :5 !y w\ld inh]it ! bless+4 #bbg4 ,= _m !re are1 :o1 9 ! day ( grace & m]cy1 despise ^? ?+s :i* are inde$ ! bir?right to heav51 :o yet :5 ! decid+ day appe>s1 w cry z "l z ,esau1 ,"l1 ,"l1 op5 to u2 b !n1 z ,isaac w\ld n rep5t1 no m w ,god ! ,fa!r1 b w say1 ,i h bless$ ^!1 yea1 & !y %all be bless$2 b z = y1 ,dep>t1 y are ! work]s ( iniquity4 ,g54 xxvii4 #cb2 ,luke xiii4 #be-bg4 #bbh4 ,:5 ,i _h ?us consid]$ ^! scriptures1 & f\nd t ?us to und]/& !m1 0 n aga9/1 b accord+ to o!r scriptures2 ?is /ill add$ fur!r to my enc\ragem5t & com=t1 & also gave a great bl[ to t objection1 to wit1 ,t ! scriptures c\ld n agree 9 ! salvation ( my s\l4 ,& n[ rema9$ only ! h9d] "p ( ! tempe/1 = ! ?und] 0 gone beyond me1 only "s drops did /ill rema91 t n[ & !n w\ld fall ^u me2 b because my =m] frights & angui% 7 v sore & deep1 !re=e x (t befall me /ill1 z x befalle? ^? t h be5 sc>$ ) fire4 ,i ?\ght e voice 01 ,fire6 fire6 ,e little t\* w\ld hurt my t5d] consci5ce4 #bbi4 ,b "o day1 z ,i 0 pass+ 9 ! field1 & t too ) "s da%es on my consci5ce1 fe>+ le/ yet all 0 n "r1 sudd5ly ?is s5t5ce fell ^u my s\l1 ,?y righte\sness is 9 heav52 & me?\ght )al1 ,i saw ) ! eyes ( my s\l1 ,jesus ,*ri/ at ,god's "r h&3 !re1 ,i say1 0 my righte\sness2 s t :]ev] ,i 01 or :atev] ,i 0 do+1 ,god c\ld n say ( me1 ,he wants ,my righte\sness2 = t 0 j be=e ,him4 ,i also saw moreov]1 t x 0 n my good frame ( he>t t made my righte\sness bett]1 nor yet my bad frame t made my righte\sness worse2 = my righte\sness 0 ,jesus ,*ri/ ,himself1 ,! same ye/]day1 to-day1 & = ev]4 ,heb4 xiii4 #h4 #bcj4 ,n[ did my *a9s fall (f my legs inde$2 ,i 0 loos$ f my afflictions & irons2 my temptations also fl$ away2 s t f t "t ^? dreadful scriptures ( ,god left (f to tr\ble me3 n[ w5t ,i also home rejoic+1 = ! grace & love ( ,god2 s :5 ,i came home1 ,i look$ to see if ,i c\ld f9d t s5t5ce2 ,?y righte\sness is 9 heav51 b c\ld n f9d su* a say+2 :]e=e my he>t began to s9k aga91 only t 0 br\ght to my remembrance1 #a ,cor4 i4 #cj1 ,*ri/ ,jesus1 :o ( ,god is made unto u wisdom1 & righte\sness1 & sanctification1 & r$emption2 by ?is ^w ,i saw ! o!r s5t5ce true4 #bca4 ,= by ?is scripture ,i saw t ! ,man ,*ri/ ,jesus1 z ,he is di/9ct f u1 z t\*+ ,8 bodily pres5ce1 s ,he is our righte\sness & sanctification be=e ,god4 ,"h !re=e ,i liv$1 = "s "t1 v sweetly at peace ) ,god ?r\gh ,*ri/2 ,oh6 me?\ght1 ,*ri/6 ,*ri/6 !re 0 no?+ b ,*ri/ t 0 be=e my eyes3 ,i 0 n n[ 7only7 = look+ ^u ?is & ! o!r b5efits ( ,*ri/ ap>t1 z ( ,8 blood1 burial1 or resurrection1 b consid]+ ,him z a :ole ,*ri/6 z ,he 9 :om all ^!1 & all ,8 o!r virtues1 relations1 (fices & op]ations met toge!r1 & t ,he sat on ! "r h& ( ,god 9 heav54 #bcb4 ',twas glori\s to me to see ,8 exaltation1 & ! wor? & preval5cy ( all ,8 b5efits1 & t because n[ ,i c\ld look f myself to ,him & %\ld reckon1 t all ^? graces ( ,god t n[ 7 gre5 on me1 7 yet b l ^? crack$ groats & f\rp5ce-halfp5nies t ri* m5 c>ry 9 _! purses1 :5 _! gold is 9 _! trunks at home3 ,oh6 ,i saw my gold 0 9 my trunk at home6 ,9 ,*ri/ my ,"l & ,savi\r4 ,n[ ,*ri/ 0 all2 all my wisdom1 all my righte\sness1 all my sanctification1 & all my r$emption4 #bcc4 ,fur!r1 ! ,"l did also lead me into ! my/]y ( union ) ! ,son ( ,god2 t ,i 0 jo9$ to ,him1 t ,i 0 fle% ( ,8 fle%1 & bone ( ,8 bone2 & n[ 0 t ^w sweet to me 9 ,eph4 v4 #cj4 ,by ?is also 0 my fai? 9 ,him1 z my righte\sness1 ! m confirm$ 9 me2 = if ,he & ,i 7 "o1 !n ,8 righte\sness 0 m9e1 ,8 m]its m9e1 ,8 victory also m9e4 ,n[ c\ld ,i see myself 9 heav5 & e>? at once3 9 heav5 by my ,*ri/1 by my head1 by my righte\sness & life1 ?\gh on e>? by my body or p]son4 #bcd4 ,n[ ,i saw ,*ri/ ,jesus 0 look$ ^u ( ,god2 & %\ld also be look$ ^u by u1 z t common or public p]son1 9 :om all ! :ole body ( ,8 elect are always to be consid]$ & reckon$2 t we fulfill$ ! law by ,him1 di$ by ,him1 rose f ! dead by ,him1 got ! victory ov] s91 dea?1 ! devil1 & hell1 by ,him2 :5 ,he di$1 we di$1 & s ( ,8 resurrection4 ,?y dead m5 %all live1 toge!r ) ,my dead body %all !y arise1 sai? ,he4 ,isa4 xxvi4 #ai4 ,& aga91 aft] two days ,he w revive u1 & ! ?ird day ,he w raise u up1 & we %all live 9 ,8 sight4 ,hosea vi4 #b4 ,:i* is n[ fulfill$ by ! sitt+ d[n ( ! ,son ( ,man on ! "r h& ( ! ,maje/y 9 ! heav5s2 accord+ to t to ! ,ephesians1 ,& ha? rais$ u up toge!r1 & made u sit toge!r 9 heav5ly places 9 ,*ri/ ,jesus4 ,eph4 ii4 #f4 #bce4 ,ah6 ^! bless$ consid]ations & scriptures1 ) _m o!rs ( l nature1 7 9 ^? days made to spangle 9 m9e eyes2 s t ,i h cause to say1 ,praise ye ! ,"l4 ,praise ,god 9 ,8 sanctu>y1 praise ,him 9 ! firmam5t ( ,8 p[]2 praise ,him = ,8 mighty acts3 praise ,him accord+ to ,8 excell5t greatness4 ,psalm cl4 #a1 #b4 #bcf4 ,hav+ ?us 9 a few words giv5 y a ta/e ( ! sorr[ & affliction t my s\l w5t "u1 by ! guilt & t]ror t ?is my wick$ ?\ght did lay me "u2 & hav+ giv5 y also a t\* ( my deliv]ance !refrom1 & ( ! sweet & bless$ com=t t ,i met ) aft]w>ds1 :i* com=t dwelt ab\t a twelvemon? ) my he>t1 to my unspeakable admiration3 ,i w n[ 7,god will+71 be=e ,i proce$ any f>!r1 give y 9 a ^w or two1 :at1 z ,i conceive1 0 ! cause ( ?is temptation2 & also aft] t1 :at advantage1 at ! la/1 x became unto my s\l4 #bcg4 ,= ! causes1 ,i conceiv$ !y 7 pr9cipally two3 ( :i* two also ,i 0 deeply conv9c$ all ! "t ?is tr\ble lay ^u me4 ,! fir/ 01 = t ,i did n1 :5 ,i 0 deliv]$ f ! temptation t w5t be=e1 /ill pray to ,god to to keep me f ! temptations t 7 to come2 = ?\gh1 z ,i c say 9 tru?1 my s\l 0 mu* 9 pray] be=e ?is trial seiz$ me1 yet !n ,i pray$ only1 or at ! mo/ pr9cipally1 = ! removal ( pres5t tr\bles1 & = fre% discov]ies ( ,8 love 9 ,*ri/1 :i* ,i saw aft]w>ds 0 n en\gh to d2 ,i also %\ld h pray$ t ! great ,god w\ld keep me f ! evil t 0 to come4 #bch4 ,( ?is ,i 0 made deeply s5sible by ! pray] ( holy ,david1 :o :5 he 0 "u pres5t m]cy1 yet pray$ t ,god w\ld hold him back f s9 & temptation to come2 ,!n1 sai? he1 %all ,i be upright1 & ,i %all be innoc5t f ! great transgression4 ,psalm xix4 #ac4 ,by ?is v ^w 0 ,i gall$ & condemn$ q ?r\gh ?is long temptation4 #bci4 ,t 0 also ano!r ^w t did mu* condemn me = my folly1 9 ! neglect ( ?is duty4 ,heb4 iv4 #af3 ,let u !re=e come boldly unto ! ?rone ( grace1 t we may obta9 m]cy1 & f9d grace to help 9 "t ( ne$4 ,?is ,i _h n done1 & !re=e 0 ?us suff]$ to s9 & fall1 accord+ to :at is writt51 ,pray t ye ent] n into temptation4 ,& truly ?is v ?+ is to ?is day ( su* weight & awe ^u me1 t ,i d>e n1 :5 ,i come be=e ! ,"l1 g ( my knees1 until ,i intreat ,him = help & m]cy aga9/ ! temptations t are to come2 & ,i d besee* !e1 read]1 t ?\ le>n to bew>e ( my neglig5ce1 by ! afflictions1 t = ?is ?+ ,i did = days1 & mon?s1 & ye>s1 ) sorr[ und]go4 #bdj4 ,ano!r cause ( ?is temptation 01 t ,i _h tempt$ ,god2 & on ?is mann] did ,i d x3 ,^u a "t my wife 0 great ) *ild1 & be=e h] full "t 0 come1 h] pangs1 z ( a woman 9 travail1 7 fi]ce & /rong ^u h]1 ev5 z if %e w\ld h fall5 imm$iately 9 lab\r1 & be5 deliv]$ ( an untimely bir?3 n[ at ?is v "t x 01 t ,i _h be5 s /rongly tempt$ to "q ! be+ ( ,god2 :]e=e1 z my wife lay cry+ by me1 ,i said1 b ) all secrecy imag9able1 ev5 ?9k+ 9 my he>t1 ,"l1 if ,?\ wilt n[ remove ?is sad affliction f my wife1 & cause t %e be tr\bl$ no m !re) ?is night 7& n[ 7 h] pangs j ^u h]71 !n ,i %all "k t ,?\ can/ disc]n ! mo/ secret ?\ghts ( ! he>t4 #bda4 ,i _h no soon] said x 9 my he>t1 b h] pangs 7 tak5 f h]1 & %e 0 ca/ into a deep sleep1 & s cont9u$ till morn+2 at ?is ,i greatly m>vell$1 n kn[+ :at to ?9k2 b aft] ,i _h be5 awake a good :ile1 & he>d h] cry no m1 ,i fell asleep also2 s :5 ,i awak$ 9 ! morn+1 x came ^u me aga91 ev5 :at ,i _h said 9 my he>t ! la/ night1 & h[ ! ,"l _h %[$ me1 t ,he knew my secret ?\ghts1 :i* 0 a great a/oni%m5t unto me = sev]al weeks aft]4 #bdb4 ,well1 ab\t a ye> & a half aft]w>ds1 t wick$ s9ful ?\ght1 ( :i* ,i h spok5 be=e1 w5t ?r\gh my wick$ he>t1 ev5 ?is ?\ght1 ,let ,*ri/ g1 if ,he w3 s :5 ,i 0 fall5 "u ! guilt = ?is1 ! remembrance ( my o!r ?\ght1 & ( ! effect !re(1 w\ld also come ^u me ) ?is retort1 :i* also c>ri$ rebuke along ) x1 ,n[ y may see t ,god do? "k ! mo/ secret ?\ghts ( ! he>t4 #bdc4 ,& ) ?is1 t ( ! passages t 7 betwixt ! ,"l1 & ,8 s]vant ,gideon1 fell ^u my _s2 h[ because t ,gideon tempt$ ,god ) 8 fleece1 bo? wet & dry1 :5 he %\ld h believ$ & v5tur$ ^u ,8 ^w2 !re=e ! ,"l did aft]w>ds s try him1 z to s5d him aga9/ an innum]able company ( enemies1 & t too1 z to outw>d appe>ance1 )\t any /r5g? or help4 ,judges vi4 #g4 ,?us ,he s]v$ me1 & t ju/ly1 = ,i %\ld h believ$ ,8 ^w1 & n h put an if ^u ! all-see+ness ( ,god4 #bdd4 ,& n[ to %[ y some?+ ( ! advantages t ,i also h ga9$ by ?is temptation3 & fir/1 by ?is ,i 0 made cont9ually to possess 9 my s\l a v wond]ful s5se bo? ( ! bless+ & glory ( ,god1 & ( ,8 belov$ ,son2 9 ! temptation t w5t be=e1 my s\l 0 p]plex$ ) unbelief1 blasphemy1 h>dness ( he>t1 que/ions ab\t ! be+ ( ,god1 ,*ri/1 ! tru? ( ! ^w1 & c]ta9ty ( ! _w to come3 ,i say1 !n ,i 0 greatly assault$ & torm5t$ ) a!ism1 b n[ ! case 0 o!rwise2 n[ 0 ,god & ,*ri/ cont9ually be=e my face1 ?\gh n 9 a way ( com=t1 b 9 a way ( exce$+ dread & t]ror4 ,! glory ( ! hol9ess ( ,god1 did at ?is "t break me to pieces2 & ! b[els & compassion ( ,*ri/ did break me z on ! :eel2 = ,i c\ld n consid] ,him b z a lo/ & reject$ ,*ri/1 ! remembrance ( :i*1 0 z ! cont9ual break+ ( my bones4 #bde4 ,! scriptures also 7 wond]ful ?+s unto me2 ,i saw t ! tru? & v]ity ( !m 7 ! keys ( ! k+dom ( heav52 ^? t ! scriptures fav\r1 !y mu/ inh]it bliss2 b ^? t !y oppose & condemn1 mu/ p]i% = ev]more3 ,oh6 ?is ^w1 ,= ! scriptures _c be brok51 w\ld r5d ! caul ( my he>t3 & s w\ld t o!r1 ,^: s9s ye remit1 !y are remitt$2 b ^: s9s ye reta91 !y are reta9$4 ,n[ ,i saw ! apo/les to be ! eld]s ( ! city ( refuge4 ,jo%ua xx4 #d4 ,^? t !y 7 to receive 91 7 receiv$ to life2 b ^? t !y %ut out1 7 to be sla9 by ! av5g] ( blood4 #bdf4 ,oh6 "o s5t5ce ( ! scripture did m afflict & t]rify my m9d1 ,i mean ^? s5t5ces t /ood aga9/ me 7z sometimes ,i ?\ght !y e "o did7 m1 ,i say1 ?an an army ( =ty ?\s& m5 t might h come aga9/ me4 ,woe be to him aga9/ :om ! scriptures b5d !mselves6 #bdg4 ,by ?is temptation ,i 0 made to see m into ! nature ( ! promises ?an ev] ,i 0 be=e2 = ,i ly+ n[ trembl+ "u ! mighty h& ( ,god1 cont9ually torn & r5t by ! ?und]+ ( ,8 ju/ice3 ?is made me ) c>eful he>t1 & wat*ful eye1 ) great fe>fulness to turn ov] e leaf1 & ) mu* dilig5ce1 mix$ ) trembl+1 to consid] e s5t5ce1 toge!r ) its natural =ce & latitude4 #bdh4 ,by ?is temptation also ,i 0 greatly hold5 (f f my =m] fooli% practice ( putt+ by ! ^w ( promise :5 saw x came into my m9d2 = n[1 ?\gh ,i c\ld n suck t com=t & sweetness f ! promise1 z ,i _h done at o!r times2 yet1 l to a man s9k+1 ,i w\ld cat* at all ,i saw3 =m]ly ,i ?\ght ,i might n m$dle ) ! promise1 unless ,i felt its com=t1 b n[ 'twas no "t ?us to d2 ! av5g] ( blood too h>dly did pursue me4 #bdi4 ,n[ !re=e ,i 0 glad to cat* at t ^w :i* yet ,i fe>$ ,i _h no gr\nd or "r to own2 & ev5 to leap into ! bosom ( t promise t yet ,i fe>$ did %ut its he>t aga9/ me4 ,n[ also ,i %\ld lab\r to take ! ^w z ,god ha? laid x d[n1 )\t re/ra9+ ! natural =ce ( "o syllable !re(3 ,o6 :at did ,i n[ see 9 t bless$ six? ( ,john3 ,& him t come? to me1 ,i w 9 no wise ca/ out4 ,john vi4 #cg4 ,n[ ,i began to consid] ) myself1 t ,god ha? a bigg] m\? to speak )1 ?an ,i _h a he>t to conceive )2 ,i ?\ght also ) myself1 t ,he spake n ,8 words 9 ha/e1 or 9 an unadvis$ heat1 b ) inf9ite wisdom & judgm5t1 & 9 v tru? & fai?fulness4 #b ,sam4 iii4 #bh4 #bej4 ,i %\ld 9 ^! days1 (t5 9 my greate/ agonies1 ev5 fl\nce t[>ds ! promise 7z ! horses d t[>ds s\nd gr\nd1 t yet /ick 9 ! mire72 conclud+ 7?\gh z "o almo/ b]eft ( 8 wits ?r\gh fe>7 on ?is ,i w re/ & /ay1 & leave ! fulfill+ ( x to ! ,god ( heav5 t made x4 ,oh6 _m a pull ha? my he>t _h ) ,satan1 = t bless$ six? ( ,john3 ,i did n n[1 z at o!r times1 look pr9cipally = com=t 7?\gh1 ,o h[ welcome w\ld x h be5 unto me674 ,b n[ a ^w1 a ^w to lean a we>y s\l ^u1 t x might n s9k = ev]6 'twas t ,i hunt$ =4 #bea4 ,yea1 (t5 :5 ,i h be5 mak+ to ! promise1 ,i h se5 z if ! ,"l w\ld refuse my s\l = ev]2 ,i 0 (t5 z if ,i _h run ^u ! pikes1 & z if ! ,"l _h ?ru/ at me1 to keep me f ,him1 z ) a flam+ sword4 ,!n ,i %\ld ?9k ( ,e/h]1 :o w5t to petition ! k+ contr>y to ! law4 ,e/h] iv4 #af4 ,i ?\ght also ( ,b5hadad's s]vants1 :o w5t ) ropes ^u _! heads to _! enemies = m]cy4 #a ,k+s xx4 #ca1 etc4 ,! woman ( ,canaan also1 t w\ld n be daunt$1 ?\gh call$ dog by ,*ri/1 ,matt4 xv41 #bb1 etc41 & ! man t w5t to borr[ bread at midnight1 ,luke xi4 #e-h1 etc41 7 great enc\ragem5ts unto me4 #beb4 ,i nev] saw ^? heights & dep?s 9 grace1 & love1 & m]cy1 z ,i saw aft] ?is temptation2 great s9s to draw out great grace2 & :]e guilt is mo/ t]rible & fi]ce1 !re ! m]cy ( ,god 9 ,*ri/1 :5 %[$ to ! s\l1 appe>s mo/ high & mighty4 ,:5 ,job _h pass$ ?r\gh 8 captivity1 he _h twice z mu* z he _h be=e4 ,job xlii4 #aj4 ,bless$ be ,god = ,jesus ,*ri/ our ,"l4 ,_m o!r ?+s ,i might "h make obs]vation (1 b ,i w\ld be brief1 & !re=e %all at ?is "t omit !m2 & d pray ,god t my h>ms may make o!rs fe> to (f5d1 le/ !y also be made to be> ! iron yoke z ,i did4 ,i _h two or ?ree times1 at or ab\t my deliv]ance f ?is temptation1 su* /range appreh5sions ( ! grace ( ,god1 t ,i c\ld h>dly be> up "u x3 x 0 s out ( measure amaz+1 :5 ,i ?\ght x c\ld rea* me1 t ,i d ?9k if t s5se ( x _h abode long ^u me1 x w\ld h made me incapable = bus9ess4 #bec4 ,n[ ,i %all g =w>d to give y a relation ( o!r ( ! ,"l's deal+s ) me at sundry o!r seasons1 & ( ! temptations ,i !n did meet )al4 ,i %all beg9 ) :at ,i met ) :5 fir/ ,i did jo9 9 fell[%ip ) ! p ( ,god 9 ,b$=d4 ,aft] ,i _h prop\nd$ to ! *ur*1 t my desire 0 to walk 9 ! ord] & ord9ances ( ,*ri/ ) !m1 & 0 also admitt$ by !m3 :ile ,i ?\ght ( t bless$ ord9ance ( ,*ri/1 :i* 0 ,8 la/ supp] ) ,8 disciples be=e ,8 dea?1 t scripture1 ,d ?is 9 remembrance ( ,me1 ,luke xxii4 #ai1 0 made a v preci\s ^w unto me2 = by x ! ,"l did come d[n ^u my consci5ce ) ! discov]y ( ,8 dea? = my s9s2 & z ,i !n felt1 did z if ,he plung$ me 9 ! virtue ( ! same4 ,b behold1 ,i _h n be5 long a p>tak] at t ord9ance1 b su* fi]ce & sad temptations did att5d me at all times !re91 bo? to blaspheme ! ord9ance1 & to wi% "s deadly ?+ to ^? t !n did eat !re(3 t le/ ,i %\ld at any "t be guilty ( cons5t+ to ^! wick$ & fe>ful ?\ghts1 ,i 0 =c$ to b5d myself all ! :ile1 to pray to ,god to keep me f su* blasphemies3 & also to cry to ,god to bless ! bread & cup to !m1 z x w5t f m\? to m\?4 ,! reason ( ?is temptation1 ,i h ?\ght s9ce1 01 because ,i did n ) t rev]5ce t became me at fir/1 approa* to p>take !re(4 #bed4 ,?us ,i cont9u$ = ?ree qu>t]s ( a ye>1 & c\ld nev] h re/ nor ease3 b at ! la/ ! ,"l came 9 ^u my s\l ) t same scripture1 by :i* my s\l 0 visit$ be=e3 & aft] t1 ,i h be5 usually v well & com=table 9 ! p>tak+ ( t bless$ ord9ance2 & h1 ,i tru/1 !re9 disc]n$ ! ,"l's body1 z brok5 = my s9s1 & t ,8 preci\s blood ha? be5 %$ = my transgressions4 #bee4 ,^u a "t ,i 0 some?+ incl9+ to a consumption1 :]e) ab\t ! spr+ ,i 0 sudd5ly & viol5tly seiz$1 ) mu* weakness 9 my outw>d man2 insomu* t ,i ?\ght ,i c\ld n live4 ,n[ began ,i afre% to give myself up to a s]i\s exam9ation aft] my /ate & condition = ! future1 & ( my evid5ces = t bless$ _w to come3 = x ha?1 ,i bless ! "n ( ,god1 be5 my usual c\rse1 z always1 s especially 9 ! day ( affliction1 to endeav\r to keep my int]e/ 9 ! life to come1 cle> be=e m9e eyes4 #bef4 ,b ,i _h no soon] began to recall to m9d my =m] exp]i5ce ( ! goodness ( ,god to my s\l1 b !re came flock+ into my m9d an innum]able company ( my s9s & transgressions2 among/ :i* ^! 7 at ?is "t mo/ to my affliction2 namely1 my deadness1 dulness1 & coldness 9 holy duties2 my w&]+s ( he>t1 ( my we>isom5ess 9 all good ?+s1 my want ( love to ,god1 ,8 ways & p1 ) ?is at ! end ( all1 ,are ^! ! fruits ( ,*ri/ianity8 ,are ^! tok5s ( a bless$ man8 #beg4 ,at ! appreh5sions ( ^! ?+s my sickness 0 d\bl$ ^u me2 = n[ ,i 0 sick 9 my inw>d man1 my s\l 0 clogg$ ) guilt2 n[ also 0 my =m] exp]i5ce ( ,god's goodness to me1 q tak5 out ( my m9d1 & hid z if !y _h nev] be51 or se53 n[ 0 my s\l greatly p9*$ betwe5 ^! two consid]ations1 ,live ,i mu/ n1 die ,i d>e n4 ,n[ ,i sunk & fell 9 my _s1 & 0 giv+ up all = lo/2 b z ,i 0 walk+ up & d[n 9 ! h\se z a man 9 a mo/ woeful /ate1 t ^w ( ,god took hold ( my he>t1 ,ye are ju/ifi$ freely by ,8 grace1 ?r\gh ! r$emption t is 9 ,*ri/ ,jesus4 ,rom4 iii4 #bd4 ,b oh6 :at a turn x made ^u me6 #beh4 ,n[ 0 ,i z "o awak$ out ( "s tr\blesome sleep & dream2 & li/5+ to ?is heav5ly s5t5ce1 ,i 0 z if ,i _h he>d x ?us exp\nd$ to me3 ,s9n]1 ?\ ?9ke/1 t because ?y s9s & infirmities1 ,i _c save ?y s\l2 b behold ,my ,son is by me1 & ^u ,him ,i look1 & n on !e1 & %all deal ) !e accord+ z ,i am pleas$ ) ,him4 ,at ?is ,i 0 greatly light5$ 9 my m9d1 & made to und]/&1 t ,god c\ld ju/ify a s9n] at any "t2 x 0 b ,8 look+ ^u ,*ri/1 & imput+ ,8 b5efits to u1 & ! "w 0 =?) done4 #bei4 ,& z ,i 0 ?us 9 a muse1 t scripture also came ) great p[] ^u my _s1 ,n by works ( righte\sness t we h done1 b accord+ to ,8 m]cy ,he ha? sav$ u1 etc4 #b ,tim4 i4 #i2 ,tit4 iii4 #e4 ,n[ 0 ,i got on high1 ,i saw myself )9 ! arms ( grace & m]cy2 & ?\gh ,i 0 be=e afraid to ?9k ( a dy+ h\r1 yet1 n[ ,i cri$1 ,let me die3 ,n[ dea? 0 lovely & beautiful 9 my sight1 = ,i saw ,we %all nev] live inde$1 till we be gone to ! o!r _w4 ,oh6 me?\ght ?is life is b a slumb]1 9 comp>ison ) t above4 ,at ?is "t also ,i saw m 9 ^! words1 ,heirs ( ,god1 ,rom4 viii4 #ag1 ?an ev] ,i %all be able to express :ile ,i live 9 ?is _w3 ,heirs ( ,god6 ,god ,himself is ! portion ( ! sa9ts4 ,?is ,i saw & wond]$ at1 b _c tell y :at ,i saw4 #bfj4 ,aga91 z ,i 0 at ano!r "t v ill & weak1 all t "t also ! tempt] did beset me /rongly 7= ,i f9d he is mu* = assault+ ! s\l2 :5 x beg9s to approa* t[>ds ! grave1 !n is 8 opportunity71 lab\r+ to hide f me my =m] exp]i5ce ( ,god's goodness3 also sett+ be=e me ! t]rors ( dea?1 & ! judgm5t ( ,god1 insomu* t at ?is "t1 ?r\gh my fe> ( misc>ry+ = ev] 7%\ld ,i n[ die71 ,i 0 z "o dead be=e dea? came1 & 0 z if ,i _h felt myself already desc5d+ into ! pit2 me?\ght ,i said1 ,!re 7 no way1 b to hell ,i mu/3 b behold1 j z ,i 0 9 ! mid/ ( ^? fe>s1 ^! words ( ! angel's c>ry+ ,laz>us into ,abraham's bosom d>t$ 9 ^u me1 z :o %\ld say1 ,s x %all be ) !e :5 ?\ do/ leave ?is _w4 ,?is did sweetly revive my _s1 & help me to hope 9 ,god2 :i* :5 ,i _h ) com=t mus$ on a :ile1 t ^w fell ) great weight ^u my m9d1 ,o dea?1 :]e is ?y /+8 ,o grave1 :]e is ?y victory8 #a ,cor4 xv4 #ee4 ,at ?is ,i became bo? well 9 body & m9d at once1 = my sickness did pres5tly vani%1 & ,i walk$ com=tably 9 my "w = ,god aga94 #bfa4 ,at ano!r "t1 ?\gh j be=e ,i 0 pretty well & sav\ry 9 my _s1 yet sudd5ly !re fell ^u me a great cl\d ( d>kness1 :i* did s hide f me ! ?+s ( ,god & ,*ri/1 t ,i 0 z if ,i _h nev] se5 or kn[n !m 9 my life3 ,i 0 also s ov]-run 9 my s\l ) a s5seless he>tless frame ( _s1 t ,i c\ld n feel my s\l to move or /ir aft] grace & life by ,*ri/2 ,i 0 z if my lo9s 7 brok51 or z if my h&s & feet _h be5 ti$ or b\nd ) *a9s4 ,at ?is "t also ,i felt "s weakness to seize ^u my outw>d man1 :i* made /ill ! o!r affliction ! m heavy & uncom=table to me4 #bfb4 ,aft] ,i _h be5 9 ?is condition "s ?ree or f\r days1 z ,i 0 sitt+ by ! fire1 ,i sudd5ly felt ?is ^w to s\nd 9 my he>t1 ,i mu/ g to ,jesus4 ,at ?is my =m] d>kness & a!ism fl$ away1 & ! bless$ ?+s ( heav5 7 set 9 my view4 ,:ile ,i 0 on ?is sudd5 ?us ov]tak5 ) surprise1 ,wife 7said ,i71 is !re ev] su* a scripture1 ,i mu/ g to ,jesus8 ,%e said1 %e c\ld n tell2 !re=e ,i sat mus+ /ill1 to see if ,i c\ld rememb] su* a place3 ,i _h n sat above two or ?ree m9utes1 b t came bolt+ 9 ^u me1 ,& to an innum]able company ( angels2 & )al1 ,hebrews twelf?1 ab\t ! m\nt ,sion1 0 set be=e m9e eyes4 ,heb4 xii4 #bb-bd4 #bfc4 ,!n ) joy ,i told my wife1 ,o6 n[ ,i "k1 ,i "k6 ,b t night 0 a good night to me1 ,i nev] _h b few bett]2 ,i long$ = ! company ( "s ( ,god's p1 t ,i might h imp>t$ unto !m :at ,god _h %[$ me4 ,*ri/ 0 a preci\s ,*ri/ to my s\l t night2 ,i c\ld sc>ce lie 9 my b$ = joy1 & peace1 & triumph1 ?r\gh ,*ri/4 ,?is great glory did n cont9ue ^u me until morn+1 yet ! twelf? ( ! ,au?or to ! ,hebrews1 ,heb4 xii4 #bb1 #bc1 0 a bless$ scripture to me = _m days toge!r aft] ?is4 #bfd4 ,! words are ^!3 ,ye are come to m\nt ,sion1 & unto ! city ( ! liv+ ,god1 ! heav5ly ,j]usalem1 & to an innum]able company ( angels1 to ! g5]al assembly & *ur* ( ! fir/-born1 :i* are writt5 9 heav52 & to ,god ! ,judge ( all1 & to ! spirits ( j m5 made p]fect1 & to ,jesus ! ,m$iator ( ! ,new ,cov5ant1 & to ! blood ( spr9kl+1 t speake? bett] ?+s ?an t ( ,abel4 ,?r\gh ?is bless$ s5t5ce ! ,"l l$ me ov] & ov]1 fir/ to ?is ^w1 & !n to t2 & %[$ me wond]ful glory 9 e "o ( !m4 ,^! words also h (t s9ce t "t1 be5 great refre%m5t to my _s4 ,bless$ be ,god = hav+ m]cy on me4 ,a brief ,acc\nt ( ! ,au?or's ,call to ! ,"w ( ! ,m9i/ry #bfe4 ,,& n[ ,i am speak+ my exp]i5ce1 ,i w 9 ?is place ?ru/ 9 a ^w or two conc]n+ my prea*+ ! ^w1 & ( ,god's deal+ ) me 9 t p>ticul> also4 ,= aft] ,i _h be5 ab\t five or six ye>s awak5$1 & help$ myself to see bo? ! want & wor? ( ,jesus ,*ri/ our ,"l1 & also enabl$ to v5ture my s\l ^u ,him2 "s ( ! mo/ able among ! sa9ts ) u1 ,i say1 ! mo/ able = judgm5t & hol9ess ( life1 z !y conceiv$1 did p]ceive t ,god _h c\nt$ me wor? to und]/& some?+ ( ,8 w 9 ,8 holy & bless$ ^w1 & _h giv5 me utt]ance 9 "s measure1 to express :at ,i saw to o!rs1 = edification2 !re=e !y desir$ me1 & t ) mu* e>ne/ness1 t ,i w\ld be will+1 at sometimes to take 9 h&1 9 "o ( ! meet+s1 to speak a ^w ( exhortation unto !m4 #bff4 ,! :i*1 ?\gh at ! fir/ x did mu* da% & aba% my _s1 yet be+ /ill by !m desir$ & entreat$1 ,i cons5t$ to _! reque/1 & did twice at two sev]al assemblies 7b 9 private71 ?\gh ) mu* weakness & infirmity1 discov] my gift among/ !m2 at :i* !y n only seem$ to be1 b did solemnly prote/1 z 9 ! sight ( ! great ,god1 !y 7 bo? affect$ & com=t$2 & gave ?anks to ! ,fa!r ( m]cies1 = ! grace be/[$ on me4 #bfg4 ,aft] ?is1 sometimes1 :5 "s ( !m did g into ! c\ntry to tea*1 !y w\ld also t ,i %\ld g ) !m2 :]e1 ?\gh z yet1 ,i did n nor dur/ n1 make use ( my gift 9 an op5 way1 yet m privately1 /ill1 z ,i came among/ ! good p 9 ^? places1 ,i did sometimes speak a ^w ( admonition unto !m also2 ! :i* !y1 z ! o!r1 receiv$ ) rejoic+ at ! m]cy ( ,god to me-w>d1 pr(ess+ _! s\ls 7 edifi$ !reby4 #bfh4 ,:]e=e1 to be brief2 at la/1 be+ /ill desir$ by ! *ur*1 aft] "s solemn pray] to ! ,"l1 ) fa/+1 ,i 0 m p>ticul>ly call$ =?1 & appo9t$ to a m ord9>y & public prea*+ ( ! ^w1 n only to & among/ !m t believ$1 b also to (f] ! gospel to ^? :o _h n yet receiv$ ! fai? !re(2 ab\t :i* "t ,i did evid5tly f9d 9 my m9d a secret prick+ =w>d !reto2 ?\gh ,i bless ,god1 n = desire ( va9-glory2 = at t "t ,i 0 mo/ sorely afflict$ ) ! fi]y d>ts ( ! devil1 conc]n+ my et]nal /ate4 #bfi4 ,b yet c\ld n be cont5t1 unless ,i 0 f\nd 9 ! ex]cise ( my gift1 unto :i* also ,i 0 greatly animat$1 n only by ! cont9ual desires ( ! godly1 b also by t say+ ( ,paul to ! ,cor9?ians3 ,i besee* y1 bre?r5 7ye "k ! h\sehold ( ,/ephanas1 t x is ! fir/ fruits ( ,a*aia1 & t !y h addict$ !mselves to ! m9i/ry ( ! sa9ts7 t ye submit y\rselves unto su*1 & to e "o t helpe? ) u1 & lab\re?4 #a ,cor4 xvi4 #ae1 #af4 #bgj4 ,by ?is text ,i 0 made to see t ! ,holy ,gho/ nev] int5d$ t m5 :o h gifts & abilities1 %\ld bury !m 9 ! e>?1 b r did comm& & /ir up su* to ! ex]cise ( _! gift1 & also did comm5d ^? t 7 apt & ready s to d4 ,!y h addict$ !mselves to ! m9i/ry ( ! sa9ts4 ,?is scripture1 9 ^! days1 did cont9ually run 9 my m9d1 to enc\rage me1 & /r5g!n me 9 ?is my "w = ,god2 ,i h also be5 enc\rag$ f sev]al o!r scriptures & examples ( ! godly1 bo? specifi$ 9 ! ^w1 & o!r anci5t hi/ories3 ,acts viii4 #d & xviii4 #bd1 #be1 etc42 #a ,pet4 iv4 #aj2 ,rom4 xii4 #f2 ,fox's ,acts & ,mon4 #bga4 ,:]e=e1 ?\gh ( myself ( all ! sa9ts ! mo/ unwor?y2 yet ,i1 b ) great fe> & trembl+ at ! sight ( my own weakness1 did set ^u ! "w1 & did accord+ to my gift1 & ! proportion ( my fai?1 prea* t bless$ gospel t ,god _h %[$ me 9 ! holy ^w ( tru?3 :i* :5 ! c\ntry und]/ood1 !y came 9 to he> ! ^w by hundr$s1 & t f all p>ts1 ?\gh ^u sundry & div]s acc\nts4 #bgb4 ,& ,i ?ank ,god1 ,he gave unto me "s measure ( b[els & pity = _! s\ls1 :i* also did put me =w>d to lab\r1 ) great dilig5ce & e>ne/ness1 to f9d out su* a ^w z might1 if ,god w\ld bless1 lay hold (1 & awak5 ! consci5ce2 9 :i* also ! good ,"l _h respect to ! desire ( ,8 s]vant2 = ,i _h n prea*$ long1 be=e "s began to be t\*$1 & be greatly afflict$ 9 _! m9ds at ! appreh5sion ( ! greatness ( _! s91 & ( _! ne$ ( ,jesus ,*ri/4 #bgc4 ,b ,i fir/ c\ld n believe t ,god %\ld speak by me to ! he>t ( any man1 /ill c\nt+ myself unwor?y2 yet ^? :o ?us 7 t\*$1 w\ld love me & h a p>ticul> respect = me2 & ?\gh ,i did put x f me1 t !y %\ld be awak5$ by me1 /ill !y w\ld confess x1 & affirm x be=e ! sa9ts ( ,god3 !y w\ld also bless ,god = me 7unwor?y wret* t ,i am67 & c\nt me ,god's in/rum5t t %[$ to !m ! way ( salvation4 #bgd4 ,:]e=e see+ !m 9 bo? _! words & de$s to be s con/ant1 & also 9 _! he>ts s e>ne/ly press+ aft] ! k ( ,jesus ,*ri/1 rejoic+ t ev] ,god did s5d me :]e !y 72 !n ,i began to conclude x might be s1 t ,god _h own$ 9 ,8 "w su* a fooli% "o z ,i2 & !n came t ^w ( ,god to my he>t1 ) mu* sweet refre%m5t1 ,! bless+ ( him t 0 ready to p]i%1 is come ^u me2 & ,i caus$ ! wid['s he>t to s+ = joy4 ,job xxix4 #ac4 #bge4 ,at ?is !re=e ,i rejoic$2 yea1 ! te>s ( ^? :om ,god did awak5 by my prea*+1 w\ld be bo? solace & enc\ragem5t to me3 = ,i ?\ght on ^? say+s1 ,:o is ,he !n t make? me glad1 b ! same :i* is made sorry by ,me8 #b ,cor4 ii4 #b4 ,& aga91 ,if ,i be n an ,apo/le to o!rs1 yet d\btless1 ,i am unto y3 = ! seal ( m9e apo/le%ip are ye 9 ! ,"l4 #a ,cor4 ix4 #b4 ,^! ?+s1 !re=e1 7 z ano!r argum5t unto me1 t ,god _h call$ me to1 & /ood by me 9 ?is "w4 #bgf4 ,9 my prea*+ ( ! ^w1 ,i took special notice ( ?is "o ?+1 namely1 t ! ,"l did lead me to beg9 :]e ,8 ^w beg9s ) s9n]s2 t is1 to condemn all fle%1 & to op5 & allege1 t ! curse ( ,god by ! law1 do? belong to1 & lay hold on all m5 z !y come into ! _w1 because ( s94 ,n[ ?is "p ( my "w ,i fulfill$ ) great s5se2 = ! t]rors ( ! law1 & guilt = my transgressions1 lay heavy on my consci5ce3 ,i prea*$ :at ,i felt1 :at ,i sm>t+ly did feel2 ev5 t "u :i* my poor s\l did groan & tremble to a/oni%m5t4 #bgg4 ,inde$1 ,i h be5 z "o s5t to !m f ! dead2 ,i w5t myself 9 *a9s1 to prea* to !m 9 *a9s2 & c>ri$ t fire 9 my own consci5ce1 t ,i p]suad$ !m to be aw>e (4 ,i c truly say1 & t )\t dissembl+1 t :5 ,i h be5 to prea*1 ,i h gone full ( guilt & t]ror1 ev5 to ! pulpit door1 & !re x ha? be5 tak5 (f1 & ,i h be5 at lib]ty 9 my m9d until ,i h done my "w2 & !n imm$iately1 ev5 be=e ,i c\ld get d[n ! pulpit /airs1 ,i h be5 z bad z ,i 0 be=e2 yet ,god c>ri$ me on1 b surely ) a /rong h&1 = nei!r guilt nor hell c\ld take me (f my "w4 #bgh4 ,?us ,i w5t on = ! space ( two ye>s1 cry+ out aga9/ m5's s9s1 & _! fe>ful /ate because ( !m4 ,aft] :i*1 ! ,"l came 9 ^u my own s\l1 ) "s /aid peace & com=t ?r\gh ,*ri/2 = ,he did give me _m sweet discov]ies ( ,8 bless$ grace ?r\gh ,him2 :]e=e n[ ,i alt]$ 9 my prea*+ 7= /ill ,i prea*$ :at ,i saw & felt72 n[ !re=e ,i did mu* lab\r to hold =? ,jesus ,*ri/ 9 all ,8 (fices1 relations1 & b5efits unto ! _w2 & did /rive also to discov]1 to condemn1 & remove ^? false supports & props on :i* ! _w do? bo? lean1 & by !m fall & p]i%4 ,on ^! ?+s also ,i /aid z long z on ! o!r4 #bgi4 ,aft] ?is1 ,god l$ me into some?+ ( ! my/]y ( ! union ( ,*ri/2 :]e=e t ,i discov]$ & %[$ to !m also4 ,&1 :5 ,i _h travell$ ?r\gh ^! ?ree *ief po9ts ( ! ^w ( ,god1 ab\t ! space ( five ye>s or m1 ,i 0 caught 9 my pres5t practice1 & ca/ into prison1 :]e ,i h la9 above z long aga9 to confirm ! tru? by way ( suff]+1 z ,i 0 be=e 9 te/ify+ ( x accord+ to ! scriptures1 9 a way ( prea*+4 #bhj4 ,:5 ,i h be5 9 prea*+1 ,i ?ank ,god my he>t ha? (t5 all ! "t ( ?is & ! o!r ex]cise1 ) great e>ne/ness cri$ to ,god t ,he w\ld make ! ^w effectual to ! salvation ( ! s\l2 /ill be+ griev$ le/ ! enemy %\ld take ! ^w away f ! consci5ce1 & s x %\ld become unfruitful3 :]e=e ,i %\ld lab\r to speak ! ^w1 z t !reby1 if x 7 possible1 ! s9 & p]son guilty might be p>ticul>iz$ by x4 #bha4 ,& :5 ,i h done ! ex]cise1 x ha? gone to my he>t1 to ?9k ! ^w %\ld n[ fall z ra9 on /ony places2 /ill wi%+ f my he>t1 ,oh6 t !y :o h he>d me speak ?is day1 did b see z ,i d1 :at s91 dea?1 hell1 & ! curse ( ,god is2 & also :at ! grace1 & love1 & m]cy ( ,god is1 ?r\gh ,*ri/1 to m5 9 su* a case z !y are1 :o are yet e/rang$ f ,him4 ,& inde$1 ,i did (t5 say 9 my he>t be=e ! ,"l1 ,t if to be hang$ up pres5tly be=e _! eyes1 w\ld be a means to awak5 !m1 & confirm !m 9 ! tru?1 ,i gladly %\ld be cont5t$4 #bhb4 ,= ,i h be5 9 my prea*+1 especially :5 ,i h be5 engag$ 9 ! doctr9e ( life by ,*ri/1 )\t works1 z if an angel ( ,god _h /ood by at my back to enc\rage me3 ,oh6 x ha? be5 ) su* p[] & heav5ly evid5ce ^u my own s\l1 :ile ,i h be5 lab\r+ to unfold x1 to demon/rate x1 & to fa/5 x ^u ! consci5ce ( o!rs2 t ,i c\ld n be cont5t$ ) say+1 ,i believe1 & am sure2 me?\ght ,i 0 m ?an sure 7if x be lawful to express myself7 t ^? ?+s :i* !n ,i ass]t$1 7 true4 #bhc4 ,:5 ,i fir/ w5t to prea* ! ^w abroad1 ! doctors & prie/s ( ! c\ntry did op5 wide aga9/ me4 ,b ,i 0 p]suad$ ( ?is1 n to r5d] rail+ = rail+2 b to see h[ _m ( _! c>nal pr(essors ,i c\ld conv9ce ( _! mis]able /ate by ! law1 & ( ! want & wor? ( ,*ri/3 =1 ?\ght ,i1 ,?is %all answ] = me 9 "t to come1 :5 !y %all be = my hire be=e _! face4 ,g54 xxx4 #cc4 #bhd4 ,i nev] c>$ to m$dle ) ?+s t 7 controv]t$1 & 9 dispute among ! sa9ts1 especially ?+s ( ! l[e/ nature2 yet x pleas$ me mu* to cont5d ) great e>ne/ness = ! ^w ( fai?1 & ! remission ( s9s by ! dea? & suff]+s ( ,jesus3 b ,i say1 z to o!r ?+s1 ,i %\ld let !m alone1 because ,i saw !y eng5d]$ /rife2 & because t !y nei!r 9 do+1 nor 9 leav+ undone1 did comm5d u to ,god to be ,83 besides1 ,i saw my "w be=e me did run into ano!r *annel1 ev5 to c>ry an awak5+ ^w2 to t !re=e did ,i /ick & adh]e4 #bhe4 ,i nev] endeav\r$ to1 nor dur/ make use ( o!r m5's l9es1 ,rom4 xv4 #ah 7?\gh ,i condemn n all t d71 = ,i v]ily ?\ght1 & f\nd by exp]i5ce1 t :at 0 taught me by ! ^w & ,_s ( ,*ri/1 c\ld be spok51 ma9ta9$1 & /ood to1 by ! s\nde/ & be/ e/abli%$ consci5ce2 & ?\gh ,i w n n[ speak all t ,i "k 9 ?is matt]1 yet my exp]i5ce ha? m int]e/ 9 t text ( scripture1 ,gal4 i4 #aa1 #ab1 ?an _m among/ m5 are aw>e4 #bhf4 ,if any ( ^? :o 7 awak5$ by my m9i/ry1 did aft] t fall back 7z sometimes too _m did71 ,i c truly say1 _! loss ha? be5 m to me1 ?an if "o ( my own *ildr51 begott5 ( my own body1 _h be5 go+ to its grave3 ,i ?9k v]ily1 ,i may speak x )\t any (f5ce to ! ,"l1 no?+ has gone s ne> me z t2 unless x 0 ! fe> ( ! loss ( ! salvation ( my own s\l4 ,i h c\nt$ z if ,i _h goodly build+s & lord%ips 9 ^? places :]e my *ildr5 7 born2 my he>t ha? be5 s wrapp$ up 9 ! glory ( ?is excell5t "w1 t ,i c\nt$ myself m bless$ & hon\r$ ( ,god by ?is1 ?an if ,he _h made me ! emp]or ( ! ,*ri/ian _w1 or ! "l ( all ! glory ( ! e>? )\t x6 ,oh ^! words6 ,he :i* conv]te? ! s9n] f ! error ( 8 way1 %all save a s\l f dea?4 ,james v4 #bj4 ,! fruit ( ! righte\s is a tree ( life2 & he t w9ne? s\ls is wise4 ,prov4 xi4 #cj4 ,!y t be wise %all %9e z ! brightness ( ! firmam5t1 & !y t turn _m to righte\sness1 z ! />s = ev] & ev]4 ,dan4 xii4 #c4 ,= :at is our hope1 or joy1 or cr[n ( rejoic+8 ,are n ev5 ye 9 ! pres5ce ( our ,"l ,jesus ,*ri/ at ,8 com+8 ,= ye are our glory & joy4 #a ,!s4 ii4 #ai1 #bj4 ,^!1 ,i say1 ) _m o!rs ( a l nature1 h be5 great refre%m5ts to me4 #bhg4 ,i h obs]v$1 t :]e ,i h _h a "w to d = ,god1 ,i h _h fir/1 z x 71 ! go+ ( ,god ^u my _s1 to desire ,i might prea* !re3 ,i h also obs]v$1 t su* & su* s\ls 9 p>ticul>1 h be5 /rongly set ^u my he>t1 & ,i /irr$ up to wi% = _! salvation2 & t ^! v s\ls h1 aft] ?is1 be5 giv5 9 z ! fruits ( my m9i/ry4 ,i h obs]v$1 t a ^w ca/ 91 by-!-bye1 ha? done m execution 9 a s]mon1 ?an all t 0 spok5 besides3 sometimes also1 :5 ,i h ?\ght ,i did no good1 !n ,i did ! mo/ ( all2 & at o!r times1 :5 ,i ?\ght ,i %\ld cat* !m1 ,i h fi%$ = no?+4 #bhh4 ,i h also obs]v$1 t :]e !re has be5 a "w to d ^u s9n]s1 !re ! devil ha? begun to ro> 9 ! he>ts & by ! m\?s ( 8 s]vants3 yea1 (t5times1 :5 ! wick$ _w ha? rag$ mo/1 !re ha? be5 s\ls awak5$ by ! ^w3 ,i c\ld in/ance p>ticul>s1 b ,i =be>4 #bhi4 ,my great desire 9 my fulfill+ my m9i/ry 0 to get into ! d>ke/ places ( ! c\ntry1 ev5 among/ ^? p t 7 f>!/ (f ( pr(ession2 yet n because ,i c\ld n endure ! light 7= ,i fe>$ n to %[ my gospel to any7 b because ,i f\nd my _s did lean mo/ aft] awak5+ & conv]t+ "w1 & ! ^w t ,i c>ri$ did lean itself mo/ t way also2 ,yea1 s h ,i /riv$ to prea* ! gospel1 n :]e ,*ri/ 0 nam$1 le/ ,i %\ld build ^u ano!r man's f\ndation4 ,rom4 xv4 #bj4 #bij4 ,9 my prea*+ ,i h really be5 9 pa91 & h1 z x 71 travail$ to br+ =? *ildr5 to ,god2 nei!r c\ld ,i be satisfi$ unless "s fruits did appe> 9 my "w4 ,if ,i 7 fruitless1 x matt]$ n :o comm&$ me3 b if ,i 7 fruitful1 ,i c>$ n :o did condemn4 ,i h ?\ght ( t3 ,lo6 *ildr5 are an h]itage ( ! ,"l2 & ! fruit ( ! womb is ,8 rew>d4--,z arr[s are 9 ! h& ( a mighty man1 s are *ildr5 ( ! y\?4 ,happy is ! man t ha? 8 quiv] full ( !m3 !y %all n be a%am$1 b !y %all speak ) ! enemies 9 ! gate4 ,psalm cxxvii4 #c-e4 #bia4 ,x pleas$ me no?+ to see p dr9k 9 op9ions1 if !y seem$ ignorant ( ,jesus ,*ri/1 & ! wor? ( _! own salvation1 s\nd conviction = s91 especially = unbelief1 & a he>t set on fire to be sav$ by ,*ri/1 ) /rong brea?+s aft] a truly sanctifi$ s\l3 t x 0 t delight$ me2 ^? 7 ! s\ls ,i c\nt$ bless$4 #bib4 ,b 9 ?is "w1 z 9 all o!r1 ,i _h my temptations att5d+ me1 & t ( div]s k9ds2 z sometimes ,i %\ld be assault$ ) great disc\ragem5t !re91 fe>+ t ,i %\ld n be able to speak a ^w at all to edification2 nay1 t ,i %\ld n be able to speak s5se unto ! p2 at :i* times ,i %\ld h su* a /range fa9tness & /r5g?lessness seize ^u my body1 t my legs h sc>ce be5 able to c>ry me to ! place ( ex]cise4 #bic4 ,sometimes aga9 :5 ,i h be5 prea*+1 ,i h be5 viol5tly assault$ ) ?\ghts ( blasphemy1 & /rongly tempt$ to speak ! words ) my m\? be=e ! congregation4 ,i h also at "s times1 ev5 :5 ,i h begun to speak ! ^w ) mu* cle>ness1 evid5ce1 & lib]ty ( spee*1 yet be51 be=e ! end+ ( t opportunity1 s bl9d$ & s e/rang$ f ! ?+s ,i h be5 speak+1 & h be5 also s /raight5$ 9 my spee*1 z to utt]ance be=e ! p1 t ,i h be5 z if ,i _h n kn[n1 or rememb]$ :at ,i h be5 ab\t2 or z if my head _h be5 9 a bag all ! "t ( my ex]cise4 #bid4 ,aga91 :5 z sometimes ,i h be5 ab\t to prea* ^u "s sm>t & se>*+ portion ( ! ^w1 ,i h f\nd ! tempt] sugge/1 ,:at6 w y prea* ?is6 ,?is condemns y\rself2 ( ?is y\r own s\l is guilty2 :]e=e prea* n ( x at all2 or if y d1 yet s m9ce x1 z to make way = y\r own escape2 le/ in/ead ( awak5+ o!rs1 y lay t guilt ^u y\r own s\l1 t y w nev] get f "u4 #bie4 ,b ,i ?ank ! ,"l1 ,i h be5 kept f cons5t+ to ^! s horrid sugge/ions1 & h r1 z ,sampson1 b[$ myself ) all my might1 to condemn s9 & transgression1 :]ev] ,i f\nd x2 yea1 ?\gh !re9 also ,i did br+ guilt ^u my own consci5ce3 ,let me die 7?\ght ,i71 ) ! ,phili/9es1 ,judges xvi4 #bi1 #cj1 r ?an deal corruptly ) ! bless$ ^w ( ,god4 ,?\ t tea*e/ ano!r1 tea*e/ ?\ n ?yself8 ,x is f> bett] t ?\ d judge ?yself1 ev5 by prea*+ pla9ly unto o!rs1 ?an t ?\1 to save ?yself1 imprison ! tru? 9 righte\sness4 ,bless$ be ,god = ,8 help also 9 ?is4 #bif4 ,i h also1 :ile f\nd 9 ?is bless$ "w ( ,*ri/1 be5 (t5 tempt$ to pride & lift+s up ( he>t3 & ?\gh ,i d>e n say1 ,i h n be5 affect$ ) ?is1 yet truly ! ,"l ( ,8 preci\s m]cy1 ha? s c>ri$ x t[>ds me1 t = ! mo/ "p ,i h _h b small joy to give way to su* a ?+3 = x ha? be5 my e day's portion to be let into ! evil ( my own he>t1 & /ill made to see su* a multitude ( corruptions & infirmities !re91 t x ha? caus$ hang+ d[n ( ! head "u all my gifts & atta9m5ts2 ,i h felt ?is ?orn 9 ! fle%1 #b ,cor4 xii4 #h1 #i1 ! v m]cy ( ,god to me4 #big4 ,i h also _h1 toge!r ) ?is1 "s notable place or o!r ( ! ^w pres5t$ be=e me1 :i* ^w ha? conta9$ 9 x "s %>p & pi]c+ s5t5ce conc]n+ ! p]i%+ ( ! s\l1 not)/&+ gifts & p>ts3 z1 = in/ance1 t ha? be5 ( great use to me3 ,?\gh ,i speak ) ! tongues ( m5 & angels1 & h n *>ity1 ,i am become z s\nd+ brass1 & a t9kl+ cymbal4 #a ,cor4 xiii4 #a1 #b4 #bih4 ,a t9kl+ cymbal is an in/rum5t ( music1 ) :i* a skilful play] c make su* melodi\s & he>t-inflam+ music1 t all :o he> him play1 c sc>cely hold f danc+2 & yet behold ! cymbal ha? n life1 nei!r comes ! music f x1 b because ( ! art ( him t plays !re)2 s !n ! in/rum5t at la/ may come to n\ght & p]i%1 ?\gh 9 times pa/ su* music ha? be5 made ^u x4 #bii4 ,j ?us ,i saw x 01 & w be1 ) !m :o h gifts1 b want sav+ grace2 !y are 9 ! h& ( ,*ri/1 z ! cymbal 9 ! h& ( ,david3 & z ,david c\ld ) ! cymbal make t mir? 9 ! s]vice ( ,god1 z to elevate ! he>ts ( ! wor%ipp]s1 s ,*ri/ c use ^! gift$ m51 z ) !m to affect ! s\ls ( ,8 p 9 ,8 *ur*2 yet :5 ,he ha? done all1 hang !m by1 z lifeless1 ?\gh s\nd+ cymbals4 #cjj4 ,?is consid]ation !re=e1 toge!r ) "s o!rs1 7 = ! mo/ "p1 z a maul on ! head ( pride1 & desire ( va9-glory4 ,:at1 ?\ght ,i1 %all ,i be pr\d because ,i am a s\nd+ brass8 ,is x s mu* to be a fiddle8 ha? n ! lea/ creature t ha? life1 m ( ,god 9 x ?an ^!8 ,besides1 ,i knew 'twas love %\ld nev] die1 b ^! mu/ cease & vani%3 s ,i conclud$1 a little grace1 a little love1 a little ( ! true fe> ( ,god1 is bett] ?an all ! gifts3 yea1 & ,i am fully conv9c$ ( x1 t x is possible = s\ls t c sc>ce give a man an answ]1 b ) great confusion z to me?od2 ,i say1 x is possible = !m to h a ?\s& times m grace1 & s to be m 9 ! love & fav\r ( ! ,"l1 ?an "s :o by ! virtue ( ! gift ( k1 c deliv] !mselves l angels4 #cja4 ,?us !re=e ,i came to p]ceive t1 ?\gh gifts 9 !mselves 7 good1 to ! ?+ = :i* !y are design$1 to wit1 ! edification ( o!rs2 yet empty1 & )\t p[] to save ! s\l ( him t ha? !m1 if !y be alone3 nei!r are !y1 z s1 any sign ( a man's /ate to be happy1 be+ only a disp5sation ( ,god to "s1 ( ^: improvem5t1 or non-improvem5t1 !y mu/ :5 a little love m is ov]1 give an acc\nt to ,him t is ready to judge ! quick & ! dead4 #cjb4 ,?is %[$ me too1 t gifts be+ alone1 7 dang]\s1 n 9 !mselves1 b because ( ^? evils t att5d !m t h !m1 to wit1 pride1 desire ( va9 glory1 self-conceit1 etc41 all :i* 7 easily bl[n up at ! applause & comm5dation ( e unadvis$ ,*ri/ian1 to ! endang]+ ( a poor creature to fall into ! condemnation ( ! devil4 #cjc4 ,i saw !re=e t he t ha? gifts1 _h ne$ be let into a sight ( ! nature ( !m1 to wit1 t !y come %ort ( mak+ ( him to be 9 a truly sav$ condition1 le/ he re/ 9 !m1 & s fall %ort ( ! grace ( ,god4 #cjd4 ,he ha? cause also to walk humbly ) ,god & be little 9 8 own eyes1 & to rememb] )al1 t 8 gifts are n 8 own1 b ! *ur*es2 & t by !m he is made a s]vant to ! *ur*2 & he mu/ also give at la/ an acc\nt ( 8 /ew>d%ip unto ! ,"l ,jesus1 & to give a good acc\nt w be a bless$ ?+4 #cje4 ,let all m5 !re=e prize a little ) ! fe> ( ! ,"l 7gifts inde$ are desirable71 b yet great grace & small gifts are bett] ?an great gifts & no grace4 ,x do? n say1 ! ,"l gives gifts & glory1 b ! ,"l gives grace & glory2 & bless$ is su* an "o1 to :om ! ,"l gives grace1 true grace2 = t is a c]ta9 =]unn] ( glory4 #cjf4 ,b :5 ,satan p]ceiv$ t 8 ?us tempt+ & assault+ ( me1 w\ld n answ] 8 design2 to wit1 to ov]?r[ ! m9i/ry1 & make x ineffectual1 z to ! ends !re(3 !n he tri$ ano!r way1 :i* 01 to /ir up ! m9ds ( ! ignorant & malici\s to load me ) sl&]s & reproa*es3 n[ !re=e ,i may say1 t :at ! devil c\ld devise1 & 8 in/rum5ts inv5t1 0 :irl$ up & d[n ! c\ntry aga9/ me1 ?9k+1 z ,i said1 t by t means !y %\ld make my m9i/ry to be ab&on$4 #cjg4 ,x began !re=e to be rum\r$ up & d[n among ! p1 t ,i 0 a wit*1 a ,jesuit1 a highwayman1 & ! l4 ,picture3 ,bunyan is look$ on ) ,suspicion #cjh4 ,to all :i*1 ,i %all only say1 ,god kn[s t ,i am innoc5t4 ,b z = m9e accus]s1 let !m provide !mselves to meet me be=e ! tribunal ( ! ,son ( ,god1 !re to answ] = all ^! ?+s 7) all ! re/ ( _! iniquities7 unless ,god %all give !m rep5tance = !m1 = ! :i* ,i pray ) all my he>t4 #cji4 ,b t :i* 0 report$ ) ! bolde/ confid5ce1 01 t ,i _h my misses1 my :ores1 my ba/>ds2 yea1 two wives at once1 & ! l4 ,n[ ^! sl&]s 7) ! o!rs7 ,i glory 91 because b sl&]s1 fooli% or knavi% lies1 & falsehoods ca/ ^u me by ! devil & 8 se$2 &1 %\ld ,i n be dealt ) ?us wick$ly by ! _w1 ,i %\ld want "o sign ( a sa9t1 & a *ild ( ,god4 ,bless$ are ye 7said ! ,"l ,jesus7 :5 m5 %all revile y & p]secute y1 & %all say all mann] ( evil aga9/ y falsely = ,my sake2 rejoice & be exce$+ glad1 = great is y\r rew>d 9 heav51 = s p]secut$ !y ! prophets :i* 7 be=e y4 ,matt4 iv4 #aa4 #caj4 ,^! ?+s !re=e1 ^u m9e own acc\nt1 tr\ble me n2 no1 ?\gh !y 7 tw5ty times m ?an !y are4 ,i h a good consci5ce1 & :]eas !y speak evil ( me1 z an evil-do]1 !y %all be a%am$ t falsely accuse my good conv]sation 9 ,*ri/4 #caa4 ,s !n1 :at %all ,i say to ^? :o h ?us bespatt]$ me8 ,%all ,i ?reat5 !m8 ,%all ,i *ide !m8 ,%all ,i flatt] !m8 ,%all ,i entreat !m to hold _! tongues8 ,no1 n ,i4 ,7 x n = t ^! ?+s make !m ripe = damnation1 t are ! au?ors & abettors1 ,i w\ld say unto !m1 ,report x1 because 'twill increase my glory4 #cab4 ,!re=e ,i b9d ^! lies & sl&]s to me z an ornam5t2 x belongs to my ,*ri/ian pr(ession to be vilifi$1 sl&]$1 reproa*$ & revil$2 & s9ce all ?is is no?+ else1 z my ,god & my consci5ce d be> me witness1 ,i rejoice 9 reproa*es = ,*ri/'s sake4 #cac4 ,i also call all ^! fools or knaves1 t h ?us made x any ?+ ( _! bus9ess to affirm any ( ! ?+s a=e-nam$ ( me2 namely1 ,t ,i h be5 naught ) o!r wom51 or ! l4 ,:5 !y h us$ ! utmo/ ( _! endeav\rs1 & made ! fulle/ inquiry t !y c1 to prove aga9/ me truly1 t !re is any woman 9 heav51 or e>?1 or hell1 t c say1 ,i h at any "t1 9 any place1 by day or night1 s mu* z attempt$ to be naught ) !m2 & speak ,i ?us to beg my enemies into a good e/eem ( me8 ,no1 n ,i3 ,i w 9 ?is beg belief ( no man3 believe or disbelieve me 9 ?is1 all is a-case to me4 #cad4 ,my foes h miss$ _! m>k 9 ?is %oot+ at me3 ,i am n ! man3 ,i wi% t !y !mselves be guiltless4 ,if all ! =nicators & adult]]s 9 ,engl& 7 hang$ up by ! neck till !y be dead1 ,john ,bunyan1 ! object ( _! envy1 w\ld be /ill alive & well4 ,i "k n :e!r !re be su* a ?+ z a woman brea?+ "u ! copes ( ! :ole heav51 b by _! app>el1 _! *ildr51 or by common fame1 except my wife4 #cae4 ,& 9 ?is ,i admire ! wisdom ( ,god1 t ,he made me %y ( wom5 f my fir/ conv]sion until n[4 ,^? %y ( wom5 "k1 & c also be> me witness1 ) :om ,i h be5 mo/ intimately conc]n$1 t x is a r>e ?+ to see me c>ry x pleasant t[>ds a woman3 ! common salutation ( wom5 ,i abhor2 'tis odi\s to me 9 :omsoev] ,i see x4 ,_! company alone1 ,i _c away )2 ,i seldom s mu* z t\* a woman's h&2 = ,i ?9k ^! ?+s are n s becom+ me4 ,:5 ,i h se5 good m5 salute ^? wom5 t !y h visit$1 or t h visit$ !m1 ,i h at times made my objection aga9/ x2 & :5 !y h answ]$1 t x 0 b a piece ( civility1 ,i h told !m1 x is n a comely sight4 ,"s inde$ h urg$ ! holy kiss2 b !n ,i h ask$ :y !y made baulks8 :y !y did salute ! mo/ h&some1 & let ! ill-fav\r$ g8 ,?us1 h[ laudable soev] su* ?+s h be5 9 ! eyes ( o!rs1 !y h be5 unseemly 9 my sight4 #caf4 ,& n[ = a w9d-up 9 ?is matt]1 ,i call+ n only m51 b angels1 to prove me guilty ( hav+ c>nally to d ) any woman save my wife3 nor am ,i afraid to d x a second "t2 kn[+ t x _c (f5d ! ,"l 9 su* a case1 to call ,god = a record ^u my s\l1 t 9 ^! ?+s ,i am innoc5t4 ,n t ,i h be5 ?us kept1 because ( any goodness 9 me1 m ?an any o!r2 b ,god has be5 m]ciful to me1 & has kept me2 to :om ,i pray t ,he w keep me /ill1 n only f ?is1 b e evil way & "w1 & pres]ve me to ,8 heav5ly k+dom4 ,am54 #cag4 ,n[ z ,satan lab\r$ by reproa*es & sl&]s1 to make me vile among my c\ntrym52 t1 if possible1 my prea*+ might be made ( none effect2 s !re 0 add$ h]eto1 a long & t$i\s imprisonm5t1 t !reby ,i might be fright5$ f my s]vice = ,*ri/1 & ! _w t]rifi$1 & made afraid to he> me prea*2 ( :i* ,i %all 9 ! next place give y a brief acc\nt4 ,a ,,brief ,,acc\nt ,,( ,,! ,,au?or',s ,,imprisonm5t #cah4 ,hav+ made pr(ession ( ! glori\s gospel ( ,*ri/ a long "t1 & prea*$ ! same ab\t five ye>s1 ,i 0 appreh5d$ at a meet+ ( good p 9 ! c\ntry 7among :om1 _h !y let me alone1 ,i %\ld h prea*$ t day1 b !y took me away f among/ !m71 & _h me be=e a ju/ice2 :o1 aft] ,i _h (f]$ security = my appe>+ at ! next sessions1 yet committ$ me1 because my sureties w\ld n cons5t to be b\nd t ,i %\ld prea* no m to ! p4 #cai4 ,at ! sessions aft] ,i 0 indict$ = an uphold] & ma9ta9] ( unlawful assemblies & conv5ticles1 & = n con=m+ to ! national wor%ip ( ! *ur* ( ,engl&2 & aft] "s conf]5ce !re ) ! ju/ices1 !y tak+ my pla9 deal+ ) !m = a confession1 z !y t]m$ x1 ( ! indictm5t1 did s5t5ce me to a p]petual bani%m5t1 because ,i refus$ to con=m4 ,s be+ aga9 deliv]$ up to ! jail]'s h&s1 ,i 0 _h home to prison1 & !re h la9 n[ complete twelve ye>s1 wait+ to see :at ,god w\ld suff] ^! m5 to d ) me4 #cbj4 ,9 :i* condition ,i h cont9u$ ) mu* cont5t1 ?r\gh grace1 b h met ) _m turn+s & go+s ^u my he>t1 bo? f ! ,"l1 ,satan1 & my own corruptions2 by all :i* 7glory be to ,jesus ,*ri/7 ,i h also receiv$ among _m ?+s1 mu* conviction1 in/ruction1 & und]/&+1 ( :i* at l>ge ,i %all n "h disc\rse2 only give y a h9t or two1 a ^w t may /ir up ! godly to bless ,god1 & to pray = me2 & also to take enc\ragem5t1 %\ld ! case be _! own--n to fe> :at man c d unto !m4 #cba4 ,i nev] _h 9 all my life s great an inlet into ! ^w ( ,god z n[3 ^? scriptures t ,i saw no?+ 9 be=e1 are made 9 ?is place & /ate to %9e ^u me2 ,jesus ,*ri/ also 0 nev] m real & app>5t ?an n[2 "h ,i h se5 & felt ,him inde$3 ,oh6 t ^w1 ,we h n prea*$ unto y cunn+ly devis$ fables1 #b ,pet4 i4 #af1 & t1 ,god rais$ ,*ri/ f ! dead1 & gave ,him glory1 t our fai? & hope might be 9 ,god #a ,pet4 i4 #ba1 7 bless$ words unto me 9 ?is my imprison$ condition4 #cbb4 ,^! ?ree or f\r scriptures also h be5 great refre%m5ts 9 ?is condition to me3 ,john xiv4 #a-d2 ,john xvi4 #cc2 ,col4 iii4 #c1 #d2 ,heb4 xii4 #bb-bd4 ,s t sometimes :5 ,i h be5 9 ! sav\r ( !m1 ,i h be5 able to laugh at de/ruction1 & to fe> nei!r ! horse nor 8 rid]4 ,i h _h sweet sights ( ! =giv5ess ( my s9s 9 ?is place1 & ( my be+ ) ,jesus 9 ano!r _w3 ,oh6 ! m\nt ,sion1 ! heav5ly ,j]usalem1 ! innum]able company ( angels1 & ,god ! ,judge ( all1 & ! spirits ( j m5 made p]fect1 & ,jesus1 h be5 sweet unto me 9 ?is place3 ,i h se5 t "h1 t ,i am p]suad$ ,i %all nev]1 :ile 9 ?is _w1 be able to express3 ,i h se5 a tru? 9 ?is scripture1 ,:om hav+ n se51 ye love2 9 :om1 ?\gh n[ y see ,him n1 yet believ+1 ye rejoice ) joy unspeakable1 & full ( glory4 #a ,pet4 i4 #h4 #cbc4 ,i nev] knew :at x 0 = ,god to /& by me at all turns1 & at e (f] ( ,satan to afflict me1 etc41 z ,i h f\nd ,him s9ce ,i came 9 hi!r3 = look h[ fe>s h pres5t$ !mselves1 s h supports & enc\ragem5ts2 yea1 :5 ,i h />t$1 ev5 z x 71 at no?+ else b my %ad[1 yet ,god1 z be+ v t5d] ( me1 ha? n suff]$ me to be mole/$1 b w\ld ) "o scripture or ano!r1 /r5g!n me aga9/ all2 insomu* t ,i h (t5 said1 7 x lawful1 ,i c\ld pray = great] tr\ble1 = ! great] com=t's sake4 ,eccl4 vii4 #ad2 #b ,cor4 i4 #e4 #cbd4 ,be=e ,i came to prison1 ,i saw :at 0 com+1 & _h especially two consid]ations w>m ^u my he>t2 ! fir/ 01 h[ to be able to enc\nt] dea?1 %\ld t be "h my portion4 ,= ! fir/ ( ^!1 t scripture1 ,col4 i4 #aa1 0 great in=mation to me1 namely1 to pray to ,god to be /r5g!n$ ) all might1 accord+ to ,8 glori\s p[]1 unto all pati5ce & long-suff]+ ) joyfulness4 ,i c\ld seldom g to pray] be=e ,i 0 imprison$2 b = n s little z a ye> toge!r1 ?is s5t5ce1 or sweet petition w\ld1 z x 71 ?ru/ itself into my m9d1 & p]suade me1 t if ev] ,i w\ld g ?r\gh long-suff]+1 ,i mu/ h all pati5ce1 especially if ,i w\ld endure x joyfully4 #cbe4 ,z to ! second consid]ation1 t say+ 7#b ,cor4 i4 #i7 0 ( great use to me1 ,b we _h ! s5t5ce ( dea? 9 ourselves1 t we %\ld n tru/ 9 ourselves1 b 9 ,god1 :i* raise? ! dead4 ,by ?is scripture ,i 0 made to see1 ,t if ev] ,i w\ld suff] rightly1 ,i mu/ fir/ pass a s5t5ce ( dea? ^u e ?+ t c prop]ly be call$ a ?+ ( ?is life1 ev5 to reckon myself1 my wife1 my *ildr51 my heal?1 my enjoym5ts1 & all z dead to me1 & myself z dead to !m4 #cbf4 ,! second 0 to live ^u ,god t is invisible1 z ,paul said 9 ano!r place2 ! way n to fa9t is1 ,to look n on ! ?+s t are se51 b at ! ?+s t are n se52 = ! ?+s t are se5 are temporal1 b ! ?+s t are n se5 are et]nal4 ,& ?us ,i reason$ ) myself1 if ,i provide only = a prison1 !n ! :ip comes at unaw>es2 & s do? also ! pillory3 ,aga91 if ,i only provide = ^!1 !n ,i am n fit = bani%m5t4 ,fur!r1 if ,i conclude t bani%m5t is ! wor/1 !n if dea? comes1 ,i am surpris$3 s t ,i see1 ! be/ way to g ?r\gh suff]+s1 is to tru/ 9 ,god ?r\gh ,*ri/1 z t\*+ ! _w to come2 & z t\*+ ?is _w1 to c\nt ! grave my h\se1 to make my b$ 9 d>kness2 to say to corruption1 ,?\ art my fa!r1 & to ! worm1 ,?\ art my "m & si/]3 t is1 to famili>ize ^! ?+s to me4 #cbg4 ,b not)/&+ ^! helps1 ,i f\nd myself a man & compass$ ) infirmities2 ! p>t+ ) my wife & poor *ildr51 ha? (t5 be5 to me 9 ?is place1 z ! pull+ ! fle% f ! bones1 & t n only because ,i am some:at too fond ( ^! great m]cies1 b also because ,i %\ld h (t5 br\ght to my m9d ! _m h>d%ips1 mis]ies1 & wants t my poor family 0 l to meet )1 %\ld ,i be tak5 f !m1 especially my poor bl9d *ild1 :o lay ne>] my he>t ?an all besides3 ,oh6 ! ?\ghts ( ! h>d%ip ,i ?\ght my poor bl9d "o might g "u1 w\ld break my he>t to pieces4 ,picture3 ,bunyan ,p>t+ ) 8 ,wife & ,*ildr5 #cbh4 ,poor *ild6 ?\ght ,i1 :at sorr[ art ?\ l to h = ?y portion 9 ?is _w6 ,?\ mu/ be beat51 mu/ beg1 suff] hung]1 cold1 nak$ness1 & a ?\s& calamities1 ?\gh ,i _c n[ endure ! w9d %\ld bl[ ^u !e4 ,b yet recall+ myself1 ?\ght ,i1 ,i mu/ v5ture y all ) ,god1 ?\gh x goe? to ! quick to leave y3 ,oh6 ,i saw 9 ?is condition ,i 0 z a man :o 0 pull+ d[n 8 h\se ^u ! head ( 8 wife & *ildr52 yet1 ?\ght ,i1 ,i mu/ d x1 ,i mu/ d x3 & n[ ,i ?\ght on ^? two mil* k9e t 7 to c>ry ! ark ( ,god into ano!r c\ntry1 & to leave _! calves beh9d !m4 #a ,sam4 vi4 #aj-ab4 #cbi4 ,b t :i* help$ me 9 ?is temptation1 0 div]s consid]ations1 ( :i*1 ?ree 9 special "h ,i w "n1 ! fir/ 0 ! consid]ation ( ^! two scriptures1 ,leave ?y fa!rless *ildr51 ,i w pres]ve !m alive1 & let ?y wid[s tru/ 9 me3 & aga91 ,! ,"l said1 ,v]ily x %all be well ) ?y remnant1 v]ily1 ,i w cause ! enemy to entreat !e well 9 ! "t ( evil1 & 9 "t ( affliction4 ,j]4 xlix4 #aa2 xv4 #aa4 #ccj4 ,i _h also ?is consid]ation1 t if ,i %\ld n v5ture all = ,god1 ,i engag$ ,god to take c>e ( my conc]nm5ts3 b if ,i =sook ,him & ,8 ways1 = fe> ( any tr\ble t %\ld come to me or m9e1 !n ,i %\ld n only falsify my pr(ession1 b %\ld c\nt also t my conc]nm5ts 7 n s sure1 if left at ,god's feet1 :il/ ,i /ood to & = ,8 "n1 z !y w\ld be if !y 7 "u my own c>e1 ?\gh ) ! d5ial ( ! way ( ,god4 ,?is 0 a sm>t+ consid]ation1 & z spurs unto my fle%4 ,t scripture also greatly help$ x to fa/5 ! m ^u me1 :]e ,*ri/ prays aga9/ ,judas1 t ,god w\ld disappo9t him 9 8 selfi% ?\ghts1 :i* mov$ him to sell 8 ,ma/]4 ,pray read x sob]ly3 ,psalm cix4 #f-h1 etc4 #cca4 ,i _h also ano!r consid]ation1 & t 01 ! dread ( ! torm5ts ( hell1 :i* ,i 0 sure !y mu/ p>take ( t = fe> ( ! cross1 d %r9k f _! pr(ession ( ,*ri/1 ,8 words & laws be=e ! sons ( m53 ,i ?\ght also ( ! glory t ,he _h prep>$ = ^? t 9 fai?1 & love1 & pati5ce1 /ood to ,8 ways be=e !m4 ,^! ?+s1 ,i say1 h help$ me1 :5 ! ?\ghts ( ! mis]y t bo? myself & m9e1 might = ! sake ( my pr(ession be expos$ to1 ha? la9 p9*+ on my m9d4 #ccb4 ,:5 ,i h inde$ conceit$ t ,i might be bani%$ = my pr(ession1 !n ,i h ?\ght ( t scripture3 ,!y 7 /on$1 !y 7 sawn asund]1 7 tempt$1 7 sla9 ) ! sword1 !y w&]$ ab\t 9 %eep-sk9s1 & goat-sk9s1 be+ de/itute1 afflict$1 torm5t$1 ( :om ! _w 0 n wor?y2 = all !y ?\ght !y 7 too bad to dwell & abide among/ !m4 ,i h also ?\ght ( t say+1 ! ,holy ,gho/ witnesse? 9 e city1 t bonds & afflictions abide me4 ,i h v]ily ?\ght t my s\l & x h sometimes reason$ ab\t ! sore & sad e/ate ( a bani%$ & exil$ condition1 h[ !y 7 expos$ to hung]1 to cold1 to p]ils1 to nak$ness1 to enemies1 & a ?\s& calamities2 & at la/1 x may be1 to die 9 a dit*1 l a poor & desolate %eep4 ,b ,i ?ank ,god1 hi!rto ,i h n be5 mov$ by ^! mo/ delicate reason+s1 b h r1 by !m1 m approv$ my he>t to ,god4 #ccc4 ,i w tell y a pretty bus9ess3--,i 0 once above all ! re/1 9 a v sad & l[ condition = _m weeks2 at :i* "t also1 ,i be+ b a "y prison]1 & n acqua9t$ ) ! laws1 _h ?is ly+ mu* ^u my spirits1 t my imprisonm5t might end at ! gall[s = ought t ,i c\ld tell4 ,n[ !re=e ,satan laid h>d at me1 to beat me out ( he>t1 by sugge/+ ?us unto me3 ,b h[ if1 :5 y come inde$ to die1 y %\ld be 9 ?is condition2 t is1 z n to sav\r ! ?+s ( ,god1 nor to h any evid5ce ^u y\r s\l = a bett] /ate h]eaft]8 7= inde$ at t "t all ! ?+s ( ,god 7 hid f my s\l74 #ccd4 ,:]e=e1 :5 ,i at fir/ began to ?9k ( ?is1 x 0 a great tr\ble to me2 = ,i ?\ght ) myself1 t 9 ! condition ,i n[ 0 91 ,i 0 n fit to die1 nei!r inde$ did ,i ?9k ,i c\ld1 if ,i %\ld be call$ to x2 besides1 ,i ?\ght ) myself1 if ,i %\ld make a scrambl+ %ift to clamb] up ! ladd]1 yet ,i %\ld ei!r ) quak+1 or o!r symptoms ( fa9t+1 give occasion to ! enemy to reproa* ! way ( ,god & ,8 p = _! timor\sness4 ,?is1 !re=e1 lay ) great tr\ble ^u me1 = me?\ght ,i 0 a%am$ to die ) a pale face1 & tott]+ knees1 9 su* a cause z ?is4 #cce4 ,:]e=e ,i pray$ to ,god t ,he w\ld com=t me1 & give me /r5g? to d & suff] me :at ,he %\ld call me to2 yet no com=t appe>$1 b all cont9u$ hid3 ,i 0 also at ?is "t1 s really possess$ ) ! ?\ght ( dea?1 t (t ,i 0 z if ,i 0 on a ladd] ) ! rope ab\t my neck2 only ?is 0 "s enc\ragem5t to me2 ,i ?\ght ,i might n[ h an opportunity to speak my la/ words to a multitude1 :i* ,i ?\ght w\ld come to see me die2 &1 ?\ght ,i1 if x mu/ be s1 if ,god w b conv]t "o s\l by my v la/ words1 ,i %all n c\nt my life ?r[n away1 nor lo/4 #ccf4 ,b yet all ! ?+s ( ,god 7 kept out ( my sight1 & /ill ! tempt] foll[$ me )1 ,b :i!r mu/ y g :5 y die8 :at w become ( y8 :]e w y be f\nd 9 ano!r _w8 :at evid5ce h y = heav5 & glory1 & an inh]itance among !m t are sanctifi$8 ,?us 0 ,i toss$ = _m weeks1 & knew n :at to d2 at la/ ?is consid]ation fell ) weight ^u me1 t x 0 = ! ^w & way ( ,god t ,i 0 9 ?is condition1 ,:]e=e ,i 0 engag$ n to fl9* an hair's bread? f x4 #ccg4 ,i ?\ght also1 t ,god might *oose :e!r ,he w\ld give me com=t n[1 or at ! h\r ( dea?2 b ,i might n !re=e *oose :e!r ,i w\ld hold my pr(ession or no3 ,i 0 b\nd1 b ,he 0 free2 yea1 'twas my duty to /& to ,8 ^w1 :e!r ,he w\ld ev] look ^u me or save me at ! la/3 :]e=e1 ?\ght ,i1 save ! po9t be+ ?us1 ,i am = go+ on1 & v5tur+ my et]nal /ate ) ,*ri/1 :e!r ,i h com=t "h or no2 if ,god do? n come 91 ?\ght ,i1 ,i w leap (f ! ladd] ev5 bl9dfold into et]nity1 s9k or swim1 come heav51 come hell1 ,"l ,jesus1 if ,?\ wilt cat* me1 d2 if n1 ,i w v5ture = ,?y "n4 #cch4 ,i 0 no soon] fix$ 9 ?is resolution1 b ! ^w dropp$ ^u me1 ,do? ,job s]ve ,god = n\ght8 ,z if ! accus] _h said1 ,"l1 ,job is no upright man1 he s]ves ,!e = bye-respects3 ha/ ,?\ n made an h$ge ab\t him1 etc4 ,b put =? n[ ,?9e h&1 & t\* all t he ha?1 &1 he w curse ,!e to ,?y face4 ,h[ n[6 ?\ght ,i1 is ?is ! sign ( an upright s\l1 to desire to s]ve ,god1 :5 all is tak5 f him8 ,is he a godly man t w s]ve ,god = no?+1 r ?an give out6 ,bless$ be ,god6 !n ,i hope ,i h an upright he>t1 = ,i am resolv$ 7,god giv+ me /r5g?7 nev] to d5y my pr(ession1 ?\gh ,i h no?+ at all = my pa9s3 & z ,i 0 ?us consid]+1 t scripture 0 set be=e me3 ,psalm xliv4 #ab1 etc4 #cci4 ,n[ 0 my he>t full ( com=t2 = ,i hop$ x 0 s9c]e3 ,i w\ld n h be5 )\t ?is trial = mu*2 ,i am com=t$ e "t ,i ?9k ( x1 & ,i hope ,i %all bless ,god = ev]1 = ! tea*+ ,i h _h by x4 ,_m m ( ! deal+s t[>ds me ,i might relate1 ,b ^! out ( ! spoils won 9 battle ,i h d$icat$ to ma9ta9 ! h\se ( ,god4 #a ,*ron4 xxvi4 #bg4 ,,! ,,conclusion #a4 ,,( all ! temptations t ev] ,i met ) 9 my life1 to "q ! be+ ( ,god1 & tru? ( ,8 gospel is ! wor/1 & ! wor/ to be borne2 :5 ?is temptation comes1 x takes away my girdle f me1 & remove? ! f\ndation f "u me3 ,oh6 ,i h (t5 ?\ght ( t ^w1 ,h y\r lo9s girt ab\t ) tru?2 & ( t1 ,:5 ! f\ndations are de/roy$1 :at c ! righte\s d8 #b4 ,sometimes1 :5 aft] s9 committ$1 ,i h look$ = sore *a/isem5t f ! h& ( ,god1 ! v next t ,i h _h f ,him1 ha? be5 ! discov]y ( ,8 grace4 ,sometimes :5 ,i h be5 com=t$1 ,i h call$ myself a fool = my s s9k+ "u tr\ble4 ,& !n aga91 :5 ,i h be5 ca/ d[n1 ,i ?\ght ,i 0 n wise1 to give su* way to com=t2 ) su* /r5g? & weight h bo? ^! be5 ^u me4 #c4 ,i h wond]$ mu* at ?is "o ?+1 t ?\gh ,god do? visit my s\l ) nev] s bless$ a discov]y ( ,himself1 yet ,i h f\nd aga91 t su* h\rs h att5d$ me aft]w>ds1 t ,i h be5 9 my _s s fill$ ) d>kness1 t ,i c\ld n s mu* z once conceive :at t ,god & t com=t 01 ) :i* ,i h be5 refre%$4 #d4 ,i h sometimes se5 m 9 a l9e ( ! ,bible1 ?an ,i c\ld well tell h[ to /& "u2 & yet at ano!r "t1 ! :ole ,bible ha? be5 to me z dry z a /ick2 or r1 ,my he>t ha? be5 s dead & dry unto x1 t ,i c\ld n conceive ! refre%m5t1 ?\gh ,i h look$ x all ov]4 #e4 ,( all fe>s1 !y are be/ t are made by ! blood ( ,*ri/2 & ( all joy1 t is ! sweete/ t is mix$ ) m\rn+ ov] ,*ri/3 ,oh6 x is a goodly ?+ to be on our knees1 ) ,*ri/ 9 our arms1 be=e ,god3 ,i hope ,i "k some?+ ( ^! ?+s4 #f4 ,i f9d to ?is day sev5 abom9ations 9 my he>t3 #a4 ,incl9+ to unbelief2 #b4 ,sudd5ly to =get ! love & m]cy t ,*ri/ manife/e?2 #c4 ,a lean+ to ! works ( ! law2 #d4 ,w&]+s & coldness 9 pray]2 #e4 ,to =get to wat* = t ,i pray =2 #f4 ,apt to murmur because ,i h no m1 & yet ready to abuse :at ,i h2 #g4 ,i c d none ( ^? ?+s :i* ,god comm&s me1 b my corruptions w ?ru/ 9 !mselves4 ,:5 ,i w\ld d good1 evil is pres5t ) me4 #g4 ,^! ?+s ,i cont9ually see & feel1 & am afflict$ & oppress$ )1 yet ! wisdom ( ,god do? ord] !m = my good2 #a4 ,!y make me abhor myself2 #b4 ,!y keep me f tru/+ my he>t2 #c4 ,!y conv9ce me ( ! insuffici5cy ( all inh]5t righte\sness2 #d4 ,!y %[ me ! necessity ( fly+ to ,jesus2 #e4 ,!y press me to pray unto ,god2 #f4 ,!y %[ me ! ne$ ,i h to wat* & be sob]2 #g4 ,& provoke me to pray unto ,god1 ?r\gh ,*ri/1 to help me1 & c>ry me ?r\gh ?is _w4 ,a ,,relation ,,( ,,my ,,imprisonm5t ,,9 ,,! ,,mon? ,,( ,,novemb] #affj ,,:51 by ! good h& ( my ,god1 ,i _h = five or six ye>s toge!r1 )\t any int]ruption1 freely prea*$ ! bless$ gospel ( our ,"l ,jesus ,*ri/2 & _h also1 ?r\gh ,8 bless$ grace1 "s enc\ragem5t by ,8 bless+ !reupon2 ! devil1 t old enemy ( man's salvation1 took 8 opportunity to inflame ! he>ts ( 8 vassals aga9/ me1 insomu* t at ! la/1 ,i 0 laid out = by ! w>rant ( a ju/ice1 & 0 tak5 & committ$ to prison4 ,! relation !re( is z foll[e?3-- ,^u ! #ab? ( ?is in/ant1 ,novemb] #affj1 ,i 0 desir$ by "s ( ! fri5ds 9 ! c\ntry to come to tea* at ,samsell1 by ,h>l+ton1 9 ,b$=d%ire4 ,to :om ,i made a promise1 if ! ,"l p]mitt$1 to be ) !m on ! "t a=esaid4 ,! ju/ice he>+ !re( 7^: "n is ,mr ,francis ,w+ate71 =?) issu$ out 8 w>rant to take me1 & br+ me be=e him1 & 9 ! meantime to keep a v /rong wat* ab\t ! h\se :]e ! meet+ %\ld be kept1 z if we t 7 to meet toge!r 9 t place did int5d to d "s fe>ful bus9ess1 to ! de/ruction ( ! c\ntry2 :5 alas6 ! con/able1 :5 he came 91 f\nd u only ) our ,bibles 9 our h&s1 ready to speak & he> ! ^w ( ,god2 = we 7 j ab\t to beg9 our ex]cise4 ,nay1 we _h begun 9 pray] = ! bless+ ( ,god ^u our opportunity1 int5d+ to h prea*$ ! ^w ( ! ,"l unto !m !re pres5t3 #ahd b ! con/able com+ 9 prev5t$ u4 ,s ,i 0 tak5 & =c$ to dep>t ! room4 ,b _h ,i be5 m9d$ to h play$ ! c[>d1 ,i c\ld h escap$ & kept out ( 8 h&s4 ,= :5 ,i 0 come to my fri5d's h\se1 !re 0 :isp]+ t t day ,i %\ld be tak51 = !re 0 a w>rant out to take me2 :i* :5 my fri5d he>d1 he be+ some:at timor\s1 que/ion$ :e!r we _h be/ h our meet+ or n2 & :e!r x might n be bett] = me to dep>t1 le/ !y %\ld take me & h me be=e ! ju/ice1 & aft] t s5d me to prison 7= he knew bett] ?an ,i :at _s !y 7 (1 liv+ by !m73 to :om ,i said1 ,no1 by no means1 ,i w n /ir1 nei!r w ,i h ! meet+ dismiss$ = ?is4 ,come1 be ( good *e]2 let u n be daunt$2 our cause is good1 we ne$ n be a%am$ ( x2 to prea* ,god's ,^w1 is s good a "w1 t we %all be well rew>d$1 if we suff] = t2 or to ?is purpose--7,b z = my fri5d1 ,i ?9k he 0 m afraid ( me1 ?an ( himself47 ,aft] ?is ,i walk$ into ! close1 :]e ,i some:at s]i\sly consid]+ ! matt]1 ?is came into my m9d1 ,t ,i _h %[$ myself he>ty & c\rage\s 9 my prea*+1 & _h1 bless$ be grace1 made x my bus9ess to enc\rage o!rs2 !re=e ?\ght ,i1 if ,i %\ld n[ run1 & make an escape1 x w be ( a v ill sav\r 9 ! c\ntry4 ,= :at w my weak & newly-conv]t$ bre?r5 ?9k ( x1 b t ,i 0 n s /rong 9 de$ z ,i 0 9 ^w8 ,also ,i fe>$ t if ,i %\ld run n[ !re 0 a w>rant out = me1 ,i might by s do+ make !m afraid to /&1 :5 great words only %\ld be spok5 to !m4 ,besides ,i ?\ght1 t see+ ,god ( ,8 m]cy %\ld *oose me to g ^u ! =lorn hope 9 ?is c\ntry2 t is1 to be ! fir/1 t %\ld be oppos$1 = ! gospel2 if ,i %\ld fly1 x might be a disc\ragem5t to ! :ole body t might foll[ aft]4 ,& fur!r1 ,i ?\ght ! _w !reby w\ld take occasion at my c[>dl9ess1 to h blasphem$ ! gospel1 & to h _h "s gr\nd to suspect worse ( me & my pr(ession1 ?an ,i des]v$4 ,^! ?+s ) o!rs consid]$ by me1 ,i came 9 aga9 to ! h\se1 ) a full resolution to keep ! meet+1 & n to g away1 ?\gh ,i c\ld h be5 gone ab\t an h\r be=e ! (fic] appreh5d$ me2 b ,i w\ld n2 = ,i 0 resolv$ to see ! utmo/ ( :at !y c\ld say or d unto me4 ,= bless$ be ! ,"l1 ,i knew ( no evil t ,i _h said or done4 ,& s1 z a=esaid1 ,i begun ! meet+4 ,b be+ prev5t$ by ! con/able's com+ 9 ) 8 w>rant to take me1 ,i c\ld n proce$4 ,b be=e ,i w5t away1 ,i spake "s few words ( c\nsel & enc\ragem5t to ! p1 decl>+ to !m1 t !y saw we 7 prev5t$ ( our opportunity to speak & he> ! ,^w ( ,god1 & 7 l to suff] = ! same2 desir+ !m t !y w\ld n be disc\rag$1 = x 0 a m]cy to suff] ^u s good acc\nt4 ,= we might h be5 appreh5d$ z ?ieves or murd]]s1 or = o!r wick$ness2 b bless$ be ,god x 0 n s1 b we suff] z ,*ri/ians = well do+3 & we _h bett] be ! p]secut$1 ?an ! p]secutors1 etc4 ,b ! con/able & ! ju/ice's man wait+ on u1 w\ld n be at quiet till !y _h me away & t we dep>t$ ! h\se4 ,b because ! ju/ice 0 n at home t day1 !re 0 a fri5d ( m9e engag$ = me to br+ me to ! con/able on ! morr[ morn+4 ,o!rwise ! con/able mu/ h *>g$ a wat* ) me1 or h secur$ me "s o!r way1 my crime 0 s great4 ,s on ! next morn+ we w5t to ! con/able1 & s to ! ju/ice4 #ahg;a ,he ask$ ! con/able :at we did1 :]e we 0 met toge!r1 & :at we _h ) u8 ,i tr[1 he meant :e!r we _h arm\r or n2 b :5 ! con/able told him t !re 7 only met a few ( u toge!r to prea* & he> ! ,^w1 & no sign ( any?+ else1 he c\ld n well tell :at to say3 yet because he _h s5t = me1 he did adv5ture to put out a few proposals to me1 :i* 7 to ?is effect1 namely1 ,:at ,i did !re8 ,& :y ,i did n cont5t myself ) foll[+ my call+8 = x 0 aga9/ ! law1 t su* z ,i %\ld be admitt$ to d z ,i did4 ,john ,bunyan4 ,to :i* ,i answ]$1 ,t ! int5t ( my com+ ?i!r1 & to o!r places1 0 to in/ruct1 & c\nsel p to =sake _! s9s1 & close 9 ) ,*ri/1 le/ !y did mis]ably p]i%2 & t ,i c\ld d bo? ^! )\t confusion 7to wit71 foll[ my call+1 & prea* ! ,^w also4 ,at :i* words1 he #ahg;b 0 9 a *afe1 z x appe>$2 = he said t he w\ld break ! neck ( our meet+s4 ,bun4 ,i said1 ,x may be s4 ,!n he wi%$ me to get sureties to be b\nd = me1 or else he w\ld s5d me to ! jail4 ,my sureties be+ ready1 ,i call$ !m 91 & :5 ! bond = my appe>ance 0 made1 he told !m1 t !y 0 b\nd to keep me f prea*+2 & t if ,i did prea*1 _! bonds w\ld be =feit$4 ,to :i* ,i answ]$1 t !n ,i %\ld break !m2 = ,i %\ld n leave speak+ ! ,^w ( ,god3 ev5 to c\nsel1 com=t1 exhort1 & tea* ! p among :om ,i came2 & ,i ?\ght ?is to be a "w t _h no hurt 9 x3 b 0 r wor?y ( comm5dation1 ?an blame4 ,w+ate4 ,:]eat he told me1 t if !y w\ld n be s b\nd1 my mittimus mu/ be made1 & ,i s5t to ! jail1 !re to lie to ! qu>t] sessions4 ,n[ :ile my mittimus 0 mak+1 ! ju/ice 0 )drawn2 & 9 comes an old enemy to ! tru?1 ,dr ,l9dale1 :o1 :5 he 0 come 91 fell to taunt+ at me ) _m revil+ t]ms4 ,bun4 ,to :om ,i answ]$1 t ,i did n come ?i!r to talk ) him1 b ) ! ju/ice4 ,:]eat he suppos$ t ,i _h no?+ to say = myself1 & triumph$ z if he _h got ! victory2 *>g+ & condemn+ me = m$dl+ ) t = :i* ,i c\ld %[ no w>rant2 & ask$ me1 if ,i _h tak5 ! oa?s8 & if ,i _h n1 x 0 pity b t ,i %\ld be s5t to prison1 etc4 ,i told him1 t if ,i 0 m9d$1 ,i c\ld answ] to any sob] "q t he %\ld put to me4 ,he !n urg$ me aga91 h[ ,i c\ld prove x lawful = me to prea*1 ) a great deal ( confid5ce ( ! victory4 ,b at la/1 because he %\ld see t ,i c\ld answ] him if ,i li/$1 ,i cit$ to him t v]se 9 ,pet]1 :i* sai?1 e man ha? receiv$ ! gift1 ev5 s let him m9i/] ! same1 etc4 ,l9d4 ,aye1 sai? he1 to :om is t spok58 ,bun4 ,to :om1 said ,i1 :y to e man t ha? receiv$ a gift f ,god4 ,m>k1 sai? ! apo/le1 ,z e man t ha? receiv$ a gift f ,god1 etc42 & aga91 ,y may all prophesy "o by "o4 ,:]eat ! man 0 a little /opt1 & w5t a s(tli] pace3 b n be+ will+ to lose ! day1 he began aga91 & said3-- ,l9d4 ,inde$1 ,i d rememb] t ,i h read ( "o ,alex&] a copp]smi?1 :o did mu* oppose1 & di/urb ! apo/les2--7aim+ x is l at me1 because ,i 0 a t9k]74 ,bun4 ,to :i* ,i answ]$1 t ,i also _h read ( v _m prie/s & ph>isees1 t _h _! h&s 9 ! blood ( our ,"l ,jesus ,*ri/4 ,l9d4 ,aye1 sai? he1 & y are "o ( ^? scribes & ph>isees3 = y1 ) a pret5ce1 make long pray]s to dev\r wid[s' h\ses4 ,bun4 ,i answ]$1 t if he _h got no m by prea*+ & pray+ ?an ,i _h done1 he w\ld n be s ri* z n[ he 04 ,b t scripture com+ into my m9d1 ,answ] n a fool accord+ to 8 folly1 ,i 0 z sp>+ ( my spee* z ,i c\ld1 )\t prejudice to tru?4 ,n[ by ?is "t my mittimus 0 made1 & ,i committ$ to ! con/able1 to be s5t to ! jail 9 ,b$=d1 etc4 ,b z ,i 0 go+1 two ( my bre?r5 met ) me by ! way1 & desir$ ! con/able to /ay1 suppos+ t !y %\ld prevail ) ! ju/ice1 ?r\gh ! fav\r ( a pret5d$ fri5d1 to let me g at lib]ty4 ,s we did /ay1 :ile !y w5t to ! ju/ice2 & aft] mu* disc\rse ) him1 x came to ?is3 t if ,i w\ld come to him aga91 & say "s c]ta9 words to him1 ,i %\ld be releas$4 ,:i* :5 !y told me1 ,i said if ! words 0 su* t might be said ) a good consci5ce1 ,i %\ld or else ,i %\ld n4 ,s ?r\gh _! importunity w5t back aga91 b n believ+ t ,i %\ld be deliv]$3 = ,i fe>$ _! _s 0 too full ( opposition to ! tru? to let me g1 unless ,i %\ld1 9 some?+ or o!r1 di%on\r my ,god & w\nd my consci5ce4 ,:]e=e1 z ,i w5t1 ,i lift$ up my he>t to ,god1 = light & /r5g? to be kept1 t ,i might n d any ?+ t might ei!r di%on\r ,him1 or wrong my own s\l1 or be a grief or disc\ragem5t to any t 0 incl9+ aft] ! ,"l ,jesus ,*ri/4 ,well1 :5 ,i came to ! ju/ice aga91 !re 0 ,mr ,fo/] ( ,b$=d1 :o1 com+ out ( ano!r room1 & see+ me by ! light ( ! c&le 7= x 0 d>k night :5 ,i w5t ?i!r71 he said unto me1 ,:o is !re8 ,john ,bunyan8 ) su* seem+ affection1 z if he w\ld h leap$ on my neck & kiss$ #aia;a me1 :i* made me some:at wond]1 t su* a man z he1 ) :om ,i _h s little acqua9tance1 &1 besides1 t _h ev] be5 a close oppos] ( ! ways ( ,god1 %\ld c>ry himself s full ( love to me2 b1 aft]w>ds1 :5 ,i saw :at he did1 x caus$ me to rememb] ^? say+s1 ,_! tongues are smoo!r ?an oil1 b _! words are drawn swords4 ,& aga91 ,bew>e ( m51 etc4 ,:5 ,i #aia;b _h answ]$ him1 t bless$ be ,god1 ,i 0 well2 he said1 ,:at is ! occasion ( y\r be+ "h8 or to t purpose4 ,to :om ,i answ]$1 t ,i 0 at a meet+ ( p a little way (f1 int5d+ to speak a ^w ( exhortation to !m2 ! ju/ice he>+ !re(1 said ,i1 0 pleas$ to s5d 8 w>rant to fet* me be=e him1 etc4 ,fo/4 ,s 7said he71 ,i und]/&3 b well1 if y w promise to call ! p no m toge!r1 y %all h y\r lib]ty to g home2 = my bro!r is v loa? to s5d y to prison1 if y w be b rul$4 ,bun4 ,sir 7said ,i71 pray :at d y mean by call+ ! p toge!r8 my bus9ess is n any?+ among !m1 :5 !y are come toge!r1 b to exhort !m to look aft] ! salvation ( _! s\ls1 t !y may be sav$1 etc4 ,fo/4 ,sai? he1 ,we mu/ n ent] into explication1 or dispute n[2 b if y w say y w call ! p no m toge!r1 y may h y\r lib]ty2 if n1 y mu/ be s5t away to prison4 ,bun4 ,sir1 said ,i1 ,i %all n =ce or compel any man to he> me2 b yet1 if ,i come into any place :]e !re is a p met toge!r1 ,i %\ld1 accord+ to ! be/ ( my skill & wisdom1 exhort & c\nsel !m to seek out aft] ! ,"l ,jesus ,*ri/1 = ! salvation ( _! s\ls4 ,fo/4 ,he said1 ,t 0 none ( my "w2 ,i mu/ foll[ my call+2 & if ,i w\ld b leave (f prea*+1 & foll[ my call+1 ,i %\ld h ! ju/ice's fav\r1 & be acquitt$ pres5tly4 ,bun4 ,to :om ,i said1 t ,i c\ld foll[ my call+1 & t too1 namely1 prea*+ ! ,^w3 & ,i did look ^u x z my duty to d !m bo?1 z ,i _h an opportunity4 ,fo/4 ,he said1 ,to h any su* meet+s 0 aga9/ ! law2 &1 !re=e1 he w\ld h me leave (f1 & say1 ,i w\ld call ! p no m toge!r4 ,bun4 ,to :om ,i said1 t ,i dur/ n make any fur!r promise2 = my consci5ce w\ld n suff] me to d x4 ,& aga91 ,i did look ^u x z my duty to d z mu* good z ,i c\ld1 n only 9 my trade1 b also 9 communicat+ to all p :]esoev] ,i came ! be/ k ,i _h 9 ! ,^w4 ,fo/4 ,he told me t ,i 0 ! ne>e/ ! ,papi/s ( any1 & t he w\ld conv9ce me ( imm$iately4 ,bun4 ,i ask$ him1 ,:]e98 ,fo/4 ,he said1 ,9 t we und]/ood ! ,scriptures lit]ally4 ,bun4 ,i told him t ^? t 7 to be und]/ood lit]ally1 we und]/ood !m s2 b = ^? t 0 to be und]/ood o!rwise1 we endeav\r$ s to und]/& !m4 ,fo/4 ,he said1 ,:i* ( ! ,scriptures d y und]/& lit]ally8 ,bun4 ,i said ?is1 ,he t believes %all be sav$4 ,?is 0 to be und]/ood j z x is spok52 t :osoev] believe? 9 ,*ri/ %all1 accord+ to ! pla9 & simple words ( ! text1 be sav$4 ,fo/4 ,he said t ,i 0 ignorant1 & did n und]/& ! ,scriptures2 = h[1 said he1 c y und]/& !m :5 y "k n ! orig9al ,greek8 etc4 ,bun4 ,to :om ,i said1 t if t 0 8 op9ion1 t none c\ld und]/& ! ,scriptures b ^? t _h ! orig9al ,greek1 etc41 !n b a v few ( ! poore/ sort %\ld be sav$ 7?is is h>%72 yet ! ,scripture sai?1 ,t ,god hides ^! ?+s f ! wise & prud5t 7t is1 f ! le>n$ ( ! _w71 & reveals !m to babes & suckl+s4 ,fo/4 ,he said !re 7 none t he>d me b a company ( fooli% p4 ,bun4 ,i told him t !re 0 ! wise z well z ! fooli% t d he> me2 & aga91 ^? t 7 mo/ commonly c\nt$ fooli% by ! _w are ! wise/ be=e ,god2 also1 t ,god _h reject$ ! wise1 & mighty1 & noble1 & *os5 ! fooli%1 & ! base4 ,fo/4 ,he told me t ,i made p neglect _! call+2 & t ,god _h comm&$ p to "w six days1 & s]ve ,him on ! sev5?4 ,bun4 ,i told him t x 0 ! duty ( p1 7bo? ri* & poor71 to look out = _! s\ls on !m days z well z = _! bodies2 & t ,god w\ld h ,8 p exhort "o ano!r daily1 :ile x is call$ to-day4 ,fo/4 ,he said aga9 t !re 7 none b a company ( poor1 simple1 ignorant p t come to he> me4 ,bun4 ,i told him t ! fooli% & ! ignorant _h mo/ ne$ ( tea*+ & in=mation2 &1 !re=e1 x w\ld be pr(itable = me to g on 9 t "w4 ,fo/4 ,well1 said he1 to conclude1 b w y promise t y w n call ! p toge!r any m8 & !n y may be releas$ & g home4 ,bun4 ,i told him t ,i dur/ say no m ?an ,i _h said2 = ,i dur/ n leave (f t "w :i* ,god _h call$ me to4 ,s he )drew f me1 & !n came sev]al ( ! ju/ice's s]vants to me1 & told me t ,i /ood s mu* ^u a nicety4 ,_! ma/]1 !y said1 0 will+ to let me g2 & if ,i w\ld b say ,i w\ld call ! p no m toge!r1 ,i might h my lib]ty1 etc4 ,bun4 ,i told !m !re 7 m ways ?an "o 9 :i* a man might be said to call ! p toge!r4 ,z = in/ance1 if a man get ^u ! m>ket-place1 & !re read a book1 or ! l1 ?\gh he d n say to ! p1 ,sirs1 come hi!r & he>2 yet if !y come to him because he reads1 he1 by 8 v read+1 may be said to call !m toge!r2 because !y w\ld n h be5 !re to he> if he _h n be5 !re to read4 ,& see+ ?is might be t]m$ a call+ ! p toge!r2 ,i dur/ n say1 ,i w\ld n call !m toge!r2 = !n1 by ! same argum5t1 my prea*+ might be said to call !m toge!r4 ,w+4 & ,fo/4 ,!n came ! ju/ice & ,mr ,fo/] to me aga92 7we _h a little m disc\rse ab\t prea*+1 b because ! me?od ( x is out ( my m9d1 ,i pass x72 & :5 !y saw t ,i 0 at a po9t1 & w\ld n be mov$ nor p]suad$1 ,mr ,fo/]1 ! man t did at fir/ express s mu* love to me1 told ! ju/ice t !n he mu/ s5d me away to prison4 ,& t he w\ld d well1 also1 if he w\ld pres5t all ^? t 7 ! cause ( my com+ among !m to meet+s4 ,?us we p>t$4 ,&1 v]ily1 z ,i 0 go+ =? ( ! doors1 ,i _h mu* ado to =be> say+ to !m t ,i c>ri$ ! peace ( ,god along ) me2 b ,i held my peace1 &1 bless$ be ! ,"l1 w5t away to prison1 ) ,god's com=t 9 my poor s\l4 ,aft] ,i _h la9 9 ! jail five or six days1 ! bre?r5 s\ght means1 aga91 to get me out by bondsm52 7= s ran my mittimus1 t ,i %\ld lie !re till ,i c\ld f9d sureties74 ,!y w5t to a ju/ice at ,el/[1 "o ,mr ,crumpton1 to desire him to take bond = my appe>+ at ! qu>t] sessions4 ,at ! fir/ he told !m he w\ld2 b aft]w>ds he made a demur at ! bus9ess1 & desir$ fir/ to see my mittimus1 :i* ran to ?is purpose3 ,t ,i w5t ab\t to sev]al conv5ticles 9 ! c\nty1 to ! great disp>agem5t ( ! gov]nm5t ( ! *ur* ( ,engl&1 etc4 ,:5 he _h se5 x1 he said t !re might be some?+ m aga9/ me ?an 0 express$ 9 my mittimus2 & t he 0 b a "y man1 !re=e he dur/ n d x4 ,?is my jailor told me2 &1 :]eat ,i 0 n at all daunt$ b r glad1 & saw evid5tly t ! ,"l _h he>d me2 = be=e ,i w5t d[n to ! ju/ice1 ,i begg$ ( ,god t if ,i might d m good by be+ at lib]ty ?an 9 prison1 t !n ,i might be set at lib]ty2 b if n1 ,8 w be done2 = ,i 0 n altoge!r )\t hopes b t my imprisonm5t might be an awak5+ to ! sa9ts 9 ! c\ntry1 !re=e ,i c\ld n tell well :i* to *oose2 only ,i1 9 t mann]1 did commit ! ?+ to ,god4 ,& v]ily1 at my return1 ,i did meet my ,god sweetly 9 ! prison aga91 com=t+ ( me & satisfy+ ( me t x 0 ,8 w & m9d t ,i %\ld be !re4 ,:5 ,i came back aga9 to prison1 z ,i 0 mus+ at ! sl5d] answ] ( ! ju/ice1 ?is ^w dropt 9 ^u my he>t ) "s life1 ,= ,he knew t = envy !y _h deliv]$ ,him4 ,?us h ,i1 9 %ort1 decl>$ ! mann] & occasion ( my be+ 9 prison2 :]e ,i lie wait+ ! good w ( ,god1 to d ) me z ,he please?2 kn[+ t n "o hair ( my head c fall to ! gr\nd )\t ! w ( my ,fa!r1 :i* is 9 heav54 ,let ! rage & malice ( m5 be nev] s great1 !y c d no m1 nor g any fur!r1 ?an ,god p]mits !m2 b :5 !y h done _! wor/1 ,we "k all ?+s %all "w toge!r = good to !m t love ,god4 ,f>ewell4 99 99 99 99 99 ,"h is ! ,sum ( my ,exam9ation be=e ,ju/ice ,,keel91 ,ju/ice ,,*e/]1 ,ju/ice ,,blundale1 ,ju/ice ,,bee*]1 ,ju/ice ,,snagg1 etc4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,aft] ,i _h la9 9 prison above sev5 weeks1 ! qu>t]-sessions 7 to be kept 9 ,b$=d1 = ! c\nty !re(1 unto :i* ,i 0 to be br\ght2 & :5 my jailor _h set me be=e ^? ju/ices1 !re 0 a bill ( indictm5t pref]r$ aga9/ me4 ,! ext5t !re( 0 z foll[e?3 ,t ,john ,bunyan1 ( ! t[n ( ,b$=d1 lab\r]1 be+ a p]son ( su* & su* conditions1 he ha? 7s9ce su* a "t7 devili%ly & p]nici\sly ab/a9$ f com+ to *ur* to he> ,div9e s]vice1 & is a common uphold] ( sev]al unlawful meet+s & conv5ticles1 to ! great di/urbance & di/raction ( ! good subjects ( ?is k+dom1 contr>y to ! laws ( our sov]eign "l ! ,k+1 etc4 ,! ,cl]k4 ,:5 ?is 0 read1 ! cl]k ( ! sessions said unto me1 ,:at say y to ?is8 ,bun4 ,i said1 t z to ! fir/ "p ( x1 ,i 0 a common frequ5t] ( ! ,*ur* ( ,god4 ,& 0 also1 by grace1 a memb] ) ! p1 ov] :om ,*ri/ is ! ,head4 ,keel94 ,b1 sai? ,ju/ice ,keel9 7:o 0 ! judge 9 t c\rt71 d y come to *ur* 7y "k :at ,i mean72 to ! p>i% *ur*1 to he> ,div9e s]vice8 ,bun4 ,i answ]$1 ,no1 ,i did n4 ,keel4 ,he ask$ me1 ,:y8 ,bun4 ,i said1 ,because ,i did n f9d x comm&$ 9 ! ,^w ( ,god4 ,keel4 ,he said1 ,we 7 comm&$ to pray4 ,bun4 ,i said1 ,b n by ! ,common ,pray]-,book4 ,keel4 ,he said1 ,h[ !n8 ,bun4 ,i said1 ,) ! ,_s4 ,z ! apo/le sai?1 ,i w pray ) ! ,_s1 & ) ! und]/&+4 #a ,cor4 xiv4 #ae4 ,keel4 ,he said1 ,we might pray ) ! ,_s1 & ) ! und]/&+1 & ) ! ,common ,pray]-,book also4 ,bun4 ,i said1 t ! pray]s 9 ! ,common ,pray]-,book 7 su* z 0 made by o!r m51 & n by ! motions ( ! ,holy ,gho/1 )9 our he>ts2 & z ,i said1 ! apo/le sai?1 he w pray ) ! ,_s1 & ) ! und]/&+2 n ) ! ,_s & ! ,common ,pray]-,book4 ,ano!r ,ju/ice4 ,:at d y c\nt pray]8 ,d y ?9k x is to say a few words ov] be=e or among a p8 ,bun4 ,i said1 ,no1 n s2 = m5 might h _m elegant1 or excell5t words1 & yet n pray at all2 b :5 a man praye?1 he do?1 ?r\gh a s5se ( ^? ?+s :i* he wants 7:i* s5se is begott5 by ! ,_s71 p\r out 8 he>t be=e ,god ?r\gh ,*ri/2 ?\gh 8 words be n s _m & s excell5t z o!rs are4 ,ju/ices4 ,!y said1 ,t 0 true4 ,bun4 ,i said1 ,?is might be done )\t ! ,common ,pray]-,book4 ,ano!r4 ,"o ( !m said 7,i ?9k x 0 ,ju/ice ,blundale1 or ,ju/ice ,snagg71 ,h[ %\ld we "k t y d n write out y\r pray]s fir/1 & !n read !m aft]w>ds to ! p8 ,?is he spake 9 a laugh+ way4 ,bun4 ,i said1 x is n our use1 to take a p5 & pap]1 & write a few words !reon1 & !n g & read x ov] to a company ( p4 ,b h[ %\ld we "k x1 said he8 ,bun4 ,sir1 x is none ( our cu/om1 said ,i4 ,keel4 ,b said ,ju/ice ,keel91 ,x is lawful to use ! ,common ,pray]1 & su* l =ms3 = ,*ri/ taught ,8 disciples to pray1 z ,john also taught 8 disciples4 ,& fur!r1 said he1 ,_c "o man tea* ano!r to pray8 ,fai? comes by he>+2 & "o man may conv9ce ano!r ( s91 & !re=e pray]s made by m51 & read ov]1 are good to tea*1 & help m5 to pray4 ,:ile he 0 speak+ ^! words1 ,god br\ght t ^w into my m9d1 9 ! eigh? ( ! ,romans1 at ! #bf? v]se4 ,i say1 ,god br\ght x1 = ,i ?\ght n on x be=e3 b z he 0 speak+1 x came s fre% into my m9d1 & 0 set s evid5tly be=e me1 z if ! scripture _h said1 ,take me1 take me2 s :5 he _h done speak+1 ,bun4 ,i said1 ,sir1 ! scripture sai?1 t x is ! _s t helpe? our infirmities2 = we "k n :at we %\ld pray = z we ought3 b ! ,_s itself make? int]cession = u1 ) sighs & groan+s :i* _c be utt]$4 ,m>k1 said ,i1 x do? n say ! ,common ,pray]-,book tea*e? u h[ to pray1 b ! ,_s4 ,& x is ! ,_s t helpe? our infirmities1 sai? ! apo/le2 he do? n say x is ! ,common ,pray]-,book4 ,& z to ! ,"l's pray]1 al?\gh x be an easy ?+ to say1 ,our ,fa!r1 etc41 ) ! m\?2 yet !re is v few t c1 9 ! ,_s1 say ! two fir/ words 9 t pray]2 t is1 t c call ,god _! ,fa!r1 z kn[+ :at x is to be born aga91 & z hav+ exp]i5ce1 t !y are begott5 ( ! ,_s ( ,god3 :i* if !y d n1 all is b babbl+1 etc4 ,keel4 ,ju/ice ,keel9 said t t 0 a tru?4 ,bun4 ,& ,i say fur!r1 z to y\r say+ t "o man may conv9ce ano!r ( s91 & t fai? comes by he>+1 & t "o man may tell ano!r h[ he %\ld pray1 etc41 ,i say m5 may tell ea* o!r ( _! s9s1 b x is ! ,_s t mu/ conv9ce !m4 ,& ?\gh x be said t fai? comes by he>+3 yet x is ! ,_s t worke? fai? 9 ! he>t ?r\gh he>+1 or else !y are n pr(it$ by he>+4 ,heb4 iv4 #ab4 ,& t ?\gh "o man may tell ano!r h[ he %\ld pray3 yet1 z ,i said be=e1 he _c pray1 nor make 8 condition kn[n to ,god1 except ! ,_s help4 ,x is n ! ,common ,pray]-,book t c d ?is4 ,x is ! ,_s t %[e? u our s9s1 & ! ,_s t %[e? u a ,savi\r1 ,jn4 xvi4 #af1 & ! ,_s t /irre? up 9 our he>ts desires to come to ,god1 = su* ?+s z we /& 9 ne$ (1 ,matt4 xi4 #bg1 ev5 sigh+ out our s\ls unto ,him = !m ) groans :i* _c be utt]$4 ,) o!r words to ! same purpose4 ,at ?is !y 7 set4 ,keel4 ,b says ,ju/ice ,keel91 ,:at h y aga9/ ! ,common ,pray]-,book8 ,bun4 ,i said1 ,sir1 if y w he> me1 ,i %all lay d[n my reasons aga9/ x4 ,keel4 ,he said ,i %\ld h lib]ty2 b fir/1 said he1 let me give y "o caution2 take he$ ( speak+ irrev]5tly ( ! ,common ,pray]-,book2 = if y d s1 y w br+ great damage ^u y\rself4 ,bun4 ,s ,i proce$$1 & said1 ,my fir/ reason 01 because x 0 n comm&$ 9 ! ,^w ( ,god1 & !re=e ,i c\ld n use x4 ,ano!r4 ,"o ( !m said1 ,:]e d y f9d x comm&$ 9 ! ,scripture1 t y %\ld g to ,el/[1 or ,b$=d1 & yet x is lawful to g to ei!r ( !m1 is x n8 ,bun4 ,i said1 ,to g to ,el/[1 or ,b$=d1 0 a civil ?+1 & n mat]ial1 ?\gh n comm&$1 & yet ,god's ,^w all[$ me to g ab\t my call+1 & !re=e if x lay !re1 !n to g ?i!r1 etc4 ,b to pray1 0 a great "p ( ! ,div9e wor%ip ( ,god1 & !re=e x ought to be done accord+ to ! rule ( ,god's ,^w4 ,ano!r4 ,"o ( !m said1 ,he w d h>m2 let him speak no fur!r4 ,keel4 ,ju/ice ,keel9 said1 ,no1 no1 nev] fe> him1 we are bett] e/abli%$ ?an s2 he c d no h>m2 we "k ! ,common ,pray]-,book ha? be5 ev] s9ce ! apo/les' "t1 & x is lawful = x to be us$ 9 ! *ur*4 ,bun4 ,i said1 ,%[ me ! place 9 ! epi/les1 :]e ! ,common ,pray]-,book is writt51 or "o text ( ,scripture1 t comm&s me to read x1 & ,i w use x4 ,b yet1 not)/&+1 said ,i1 !y t h a m9d to use x1 !y h _! lib]ty2 t is1 ,i w\ld n keep !m f x2 b = our p>ts1 we c pray to ,god )\t x4 ,bless$ be ,8 "n6 ,) t1 "o ( !m said1 ,:o is y\r ,god8 ,beelzebub8 ,moreov]1 !y (t5 said1 t ,i 0 possess$ ) ! _s ( delusion1 & ( ! devil4 ,all :i* say+s ,i pass$ ov]2 ! ,"l =give !m6 ,& fur!r1 ,i said1 ,bless$ be ! ,"l = x2 we are enc\rag$ to meet toge!r1 & to pray1 & exhort "o ano!r2 =1 we h _h ! com=table pres5ce ( ,god among u4 ,= ev] bless$ be ,8 holy "n6 ,keel4 ,ju/ice ,keel9 call$ ?is p$l]'s ,fr5*1 say+1 t ,i mu/ leave (f my cant+4 ,! ,"l op5 8 eyes6 ,bun4 ,i said t we ought to exhort "o ano!r daily1 :ile x is call$ to-day1 etc4 ,keel4 ,ju/ice ,keel9 said t ,i ought n to prea*2 & ask$ me :]e ,i _h my au?ority8 ) o!r su* l words4 ,bun4 ,i said t ,i w\ld prove t x 0 lawful = me1 & su* z ,i am1 to prea* ! ,^w ( ,god4 ,keel4 ,he said unto me1 ,by :at ,scripture8 ,bun4 ,i said1 ,by t 9 ! fir/ epi/le ( ,pet]1 *ap4 iv4 #aj1 #aa1 & ,acts xviii41 ) o!r ,scriptures1 :i* he w\ld n suff] me to m5tion4 ,b said1 ,hold2 n s _m1 :i* is ! fir/8 ,bun4 ,i said ?is3 ,z e man ha? receiv$ ! gift1 ev5 s let him m9i/] ! same unto ano!r1 z good /ew>ds ( ! manifold grace ( ,god4 ,if any man speak1 let him speak z ! oracles ( ,god1 etc4 ,keel4 ,he said1 ,let me a little op5 t ,scripture to y3 ,z e man ha? receiv$ ! gift2 t is1 said he1 z e "o ha? receiv$ a trade1 s let him foll[ x4 ,if any man h receiv$ a gift ( t9k]+1 z ?\ ha/ done1 let him foll[ 8 t9k]+4 ,& s o!r m5 _! trades4 ,& ! div9e 8 call+1 etc4 ,bun4 ,nay1 sir1 said ,i1 b x is mo/ cle>1 t ! apo/le speaks "h ( prea*+ ! ,^w2 if y d b comp>e bo? ! v]ses toge!r1 ! next v]se expla9s ?is gift :at x is1 say+1 if any man speak1 let him speak z ! oracles ( ,god4 ,s t x is pla91 t ! ,holy ,gho/ do? n s mu* 9 ?is place exhort to civil call+s1 z to ! ex]cis+ ( ^? gifts t we h receiv$ f ,god4 ,i w\ld h gone on1 b he w\ld n give me leave4 ,keel4 ,he said1 ,we might d x 9 our families1 b n o!rways4 ,bun4 ,i said1 ,if x 0 lawful to d good to "s1 x 0 lawful to d good to m4 ,if x 0 a good duty to exhort our families1 x 0 good to exhort o!rs2 b if !y held x a s9 to meet toge!r to seek ! face ( ,god1 & exhort "o ano!r to foll[ ,*ri/1 ,i %\ld s9 /ill2 = s we %\ld d4 ,keel4 ,he said he 0 n s well v]s$ 9 ,scripture z to dispute1 or words to t purpose4 ,& said1 moreov]1 t !y c\ld n wait ^u me any long]2 b said to me1 ,!n y confess ! indictm5t1 d y n8 ,n[1 & n till n[1 ,i saw ,i 0 indict$4 ,bun4 ,i said1 ,?is ,i confess1 we h _h _m meet+s toge!r1 bo? to pray to ,god1 & to exhort "o ano!r1 & t we _h ! sweet com=t+ pres5ce ( ! ,"l among u = our enc\ragem5t2 bless$ be ,8 "n !re=e4 ,i confess$ myself guilty no o!rwise4 ,keel4 ,!n1 said he1 be> y\r judgm5t4 ,y mu/ be _h back aga9 to prison1 & !re lie = ?ree mon?s foll[+2 & at ?ree mon?s' end1 if y d n submit to g to *ur* to he> ,div9e s]vice1 & leave y\r prea*+1 y mu/ be bani%$ ! realm3 & if1 aft] su* a day z %all be appo9t$ y to be gone1 y %all be f\nd 9 ?is realm1 etc41 or be f\nd to come ov] aga9 )\t special lic5ce f ! k+1 etc41 y mu/ /ret* by ! neck = x1 ,i tell y pla9ly3 & s he bid my jailor h me away4 ,bun4 ,i told him1 z to ?is matt]1 ,i 0 at a po9t ) him2 = if ,i 7 out ( prison to-day1 ,i w\ld prea* ! ,gospel aga9 to-morr[1 by ! help ( ,god4 ,ano!r4 ,to :i* "o made me "s answ]3 b my jailor pull+ me away to be gone1 ,i c\ld n tell :at he said4 ,?us ,i dep>t$ f !m2 & ,i c truly say1 ,i bless ! ,"l ,jesus ,*ri/ = x1 t my he>t 0 sweetly refre%$ 9 ! "t ( my exam9ation1 & also aft]w>ds1 at my return+ to ! prison4 ,s t ,i f\nd ,*ri/'s words m ?an b>e trifles1 :]e ,he sai?1 ,i w give y a m\? & wisdom1 :i* all y\r adv]s>ies %all n be able to ga9say1 nor resi/4 ,luke xxi4 #ae4 ,& t ,8 peace no man c take f u4 ,?us h ,i giv5 y ! sub/ance ( my exam9ation4 ,! ,"l make ?is pr(itable to all t %all read or he> x4 ,f>ewell4 99 99 99 99 99 ,! ,sub/ance ( "s ,disc\rse _h betwe5 ! ,cl]k ( ! ,peace & myself2 :5 he came to admoni% me1 accord+ to ! t5or ( t ,law1 by :i* ,i 0 9 prison4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,:5 ,i _h la9 9 prison o!r twelve weeks1 & n[ n kn[+ :at !y int5d$ to d ) me1 ^u ! ?ird ( ,april #affa1 comes ,mr ,cobb unto me 7z he told me71 be+ s5t by ! ju/ices to admoni% me2 & dem& ( me submittance to ! *ur* ( ,engl&1 etc4 ,! ext5t ( our disc\rse 0 z foll[e?4 ,cobb4 ,:5 he 0 come into ! h\se he s5t = me out ( my *amb]2 :o1 :5 ,i 0 come unto him1 he said1 ,neighb\r ,bunyan1 h[ d y d8 ,bun4 ,i ?ank y1 ,sir1 said ,i1 v well1 bless$ be ! ,"l4 ,cobb4 ,sai? he1 ,i come to tell y1 t x is desir$ y w\ld submit y\rself to ! laws ( ! l&1 or else at ! next sessions x w g worse ) y1 ev5 to be s5t away out ( ! nation1 or else worse ?an t4 ,bun4 ,i said t ,i did desire to demean myself 9 ! _w1 bo? z become? a man & a ,*ri/ian4 ,cobb4 ,b1 sai? he1 y mu/ submit to ! laws ( ! l&1 & leave (f ^? meet+s :i* y 0 wont to h2 = ! /atute-law is directly aga9/ x2 & ,i am s5t to y by ! ju/ices to tell y t !y d int5d to prosecute ! law aga9/ y if y submit n4 ,bun4 ,i said1 ,sir1 ,i conceive t t law by :i* ,i am 9 prison at ?is "t1 do? n rea* or condemn ei!r me1 or ! meet+s :i* ,i d frequ5t2 t law 0 made aga9/ ^?1 t be+ design$ to d evil 9 _! meet+s1 mak+ ! ex]cise ( religion _! pret5ce1 to cov] _! wick$ness4 ,x do? n =bid ! private meet+s ( ^? t pla9ly & simply make x _! only end to wor%ip ! ,"l1 & to exhort "o ano!r to edification4 ,my end 9 meet+ ) o!rs is simply to d z mu* good z ,i c1 by exhortation & c\nsel1 accord+ to t small measure ( light :i* ,god ha? giv5 me1 & n to di/urb ! peace ( ! nation4 ,cobb4 ,e "o w say ! same1 said he2 y see ! late insurrection #baj at ,london1 "u :at glori\s pret5ces !y w5t2 & yet1 inde$1 !y int5d$ no less ?an ! ru9 ( ! k+dom & commonweal?4 ,bun4 ,t practice ( !irs1 ,i abhor1 said ,i2 yet x do? n foll[ t1 because !y did s1 !re=e all o!rs w d s4 ,i look ^u x z my duty to behave myself "u ! ,k+'s gov]nm5t1 bo? z becomes a man & a ,*ri/ian1 & if an occasion 7 (f]$ me1 ,i %\ld will+ly manife/ my loyalty to my ,pr9ce1 bo? by ^w & de$4 ,cobb4 ,well1 said he1 ,i d n pr(ess myself to be a man t c dispute2 b ?is ,i say1 truly1 neighb\r ,bunyan1 ,i w\ld h y consid] ?is matt] s]i\sly1 & submit y\rself2 y may h y\r lib]ty to exhort y\r neighb\r 9 private disc\rse1 s be y d n call toge!r an assembly ( p2 &1 truly1 y may d mu* good to ! *ur* ( ,*ri/1 if y w\ld g ?is way2 & ?is y may d1 & ! law n abridge y ( x4 ,x is y\r private meet+s t ! law is aga9/4 ,bun4 ,sir1 said ,i1 if ,i may d good to "o by my disc\rse8 :y may ,i n d good to two8 ,& if to two1 :y n to f\r1 & s to eight8 etc4 ,cobb4 ,ay1 sai? he1 & to a hundr$1 ,i w>rant y4 ,bun4 ,yes1 ,sir1 said ,i1 ,i ?9k ,i %\ld n be =bid to d z mu* good z ,i c4 ,cobb4 ,b1 sai? he1 y may b pret5d to d good1 & in/ead1 not)/&+1 d h>m1 by s$uc+ ! p2 y are1 !re=e1 d5i$ y\r meet+ s _m toge!r1 le/ y %\ld d h>m4 ,bun4 ,& yet1 said ,i1 y say ! law tol]ates me to disc\rse ) my neighb\r2 surely !re is no law tol]ates me s$uce any "o2 !re=e if ,i may by ! law disc\rse ) "o1 surely x is to d him good2 & if ,i by disc\rs+ may d good to "o1 surely1 by ! same law1 ,i may d good to _m4 ,cobb4 ,! law1 sai? he1 do? expressly =bid y\r private meet+s2 !re=e !y are n to be tol]at$4 ,bun4 ,i told him t ,i w\ld n ent]ta9 s mu* un*>itabl5ess ( t ,p>liam5t 9 ! #ce? ( ,elizabe?1 or ( ! ,que5 h]self1 z to ?9k !y did1 by t law1 int5d ! oppress+ ( any ( ,god's ord9ances1 or ! int]rupt+ any 9 way ( ,god2 b m5 may1 9 ! wre/+ ( x1 turn x aga9/ ! way ( ,god2 b take ! law 9 itself1 & x only fighte? aga9/ ^? t drive at mis*ief 9 _! he>ts & meet+1 mak+ religion only _! cloak1 col\r1 or pret5ce2 = s are ! words ( ! /atute3 ,if any meet+s1 "u col\r or pret5ce ( religion1 etc4 ,cobb4 ,v good2 !re=e ! k+1 see+ t pret5ces are usually 9 & among p1 s z to make religion _! pret5ce only2 !re=e he1 & ! law be=e him1 do? =bid su* private meet+s1 & tol]ates only public2 y may meet 9 public4 ,bun4 ,sir1 said ,i1 let me answ] y 9 a similitude3 ,set ! case t1 at su* a wood corn]1 !re did usually come =? ?ieves1 to d mis*ief2 mu/ !re !re=e a law be made1 t e "o t come? out !re %all be kill$8 ,may n !re come out true m5 z well z ?ieves out f !nce8 ,j ?us is x 9 ?is case2 ,i d ?9k !re may be _m t may design ! de/ruction ( ! commonweal?2 b x do? n foll[ !re=e t all private meet+s are unlawful2 ^? t transgress1 let !m be puni%$4 ,& if at any "t ,i myself %\ld d any act 9 my conv]sation z do? n become a man & ,*ri/ian1 let me be> ! puni%m5t4 ,& z = y\r say+ ,i may meet 9 public1 if ,i may be suff]$1 ,i w\ld gladly d x4 ,let me h b meet+ en\gh 9 public1 & ,i %all c>e ! less to h !m 9 private4 ,i d n meet 9 private because ,i am afraid to h meet+s 9 public4 ,i bless ! ,"l t my he>t is at t po9t1 t if any man c lay any ?+ to my *>ge1 ei!r 9 doctr9e or 9 practice1 9 ?is p>ticul>1 t c be prov$ error or h]esy1 ,i am will+ to dis[n x1 ev5 9 ! v m>ket-place2 b if x be tru?1 !n to /& to x to ! la/ drop ( my blood4 ,&1 ,sir1 said ,i1 y ought to comm5d me = s do+4 ,to err & to be a h]etic are two ?+s2 ,i am no h]etic1 because ,i w n /& refractorily to def5d any "o ?+ t is contr>y to ! ,^w4 ,prove any ?+ :i* ,i hold to be an error1 & ,i w recant x4 ,cobb4 ,b1 goodman ,bunyan1 said he1 me?9ks y ne$ n /& s /rictly ^u ?is "o ?+1 z to h meet+s ( su* public assemblies4 ,_c y submit1 &1 not)/&+1 d z mu* good z y c1 9 a neighb\rly way1 )\t hav+ su* meet+s8 ,bun4 ,truly1 ,sir1 said ,i1 ,i d n desire to comm5d myself1 b to ?9k meanly ( myself2 yet :5 ,i d mo/ despise myself1 tak+ notice ( t small measure ( light :i* ,god ha? giv5 me1 also t ! p ( ! ,"l 7by _! own say+71 are edifi$ !reby4 ,besides1 :5 ,i see t ! ,"l1 ?r\gh grace1 ha? 9 "s measure bless$ my lab\r1 ,i d>e n b ex]cise t gift :i* ,god ha? giv5 me = ! good ( ! p4 ,& ,i said fur!r1 t ,i w\ld will+ly speak 9 public if ,i might4 ,cobb4 ,he said1 t ,i might come to ! public assemblies & he>4 ,:at ?\gh y d n prea*8 y may he>4 ,d n ?9k y\rself s well enlight5$1 & t y h receiv$ a gift s f> above o!rs1 b t y may he> o!r m5 prea*4 ,or to t purpose4 ,bun4 ,i told him1 ,i 0 z will+ to be taught z to give in/ruction1 & ,i look$ ^u x z my duty to d bo?2 =1 said ,i1 a man t is a tea*]1 he himself may le>n also f ano!r t tea*e?1 z ! apo/le sai?1 ,we may all prophesy "o by "o1 t all may le>n4 #a ,cor4 xiv4 #ca4 ,t is1 e man t ha? receiv$ a gift f ,god1 he may disp5se x1 t o!rs may be com=t$2 & :5 he ha? done1 he may he> & le>n1 & be com=t$ himself ( o!rs4 ,cobb4 ,b1 said he1 :at if y %\ld =be> a:ile1 & sit /ill1 till y see fur!r h[ ?+s w g8 ,bun4 ,sir1 said ,i1 ,wickliffe sai?1 t he :i* leave? (f prea*+ & he>+ ( ! ,^w ( ,god = fe> ( excommunication ( m51 he is already excommunicat$ ( ,god1 & %all 9 ! day ( judgm5t be c\nt$ a traitor to ,*ri/4 #bad ,cobb4 ,ay1 sai? he1 !y t d n he> %all be s c\nt$ inde$2 d y1 !re=e1 he>8 ,bun4 ,b1 ,sir1 said ,i1 he sai?1 he t %all leave (f ei!r prea*+ or he>+1 etc4 ,t is1 if he ha? receiv$ a gift = edification1 x is 8 s91 if he do? n lay x out 9 a way ( exhortation & c\nsel1 accord+ to ! proportion ( 8 gift2 z well z to sp5d 8 "t altoge!r 9 he>+ o!rs prea*4 ,cobb4 ,b1 said he1 h[ %all we "k t y h receiv$ a gift8 ,bun4 ,said ,i1 ,let any man he> & se>*1 & prove ! doctr9e by ! ,bible4 ,cobb4 ,b w y be will+1 said he1 t two indiff]5t p]sons %all det]m9e ! case2 & w y /& by _! judgm5t8 ,bun4 ,i said1 ,are !y infallible8 ,cobb4 ,he said1 ,no4 ,bun4 ,!n1 said ,i1 x is possible my judgm5t may be z good z !irs4 ,b yet ,i w pass by ei!r1 & 9 ?is matt] be judg$ by ! ,scriptures2 ,i am sure t is infallible1 & _c err4 ,cobb4 ,b1 said he1 :o %all be judge betwe5 y1 = y take ! ,scriptures "o way1 & !y ano!r8 ,bun4 ,i said ! ,scripture %\ld3 & t by comp>+ "o ,scripture ) ano!r2 = t w op5 itself1 if x be rightly comp>$4 ,z = in/ance1 if "u ! diff]5t appreh5sions ( ! ^w ,m$iator1 y w\ld "k ! tru? ( x1 ! ,scriptures op5 x1 & tell u t he t is a m$iator mu/ take up ! bus9ess betwe5 two1 & a m$iator is n a m$iator ( "o1--b ,god is "o1 & !re is "o ,m$iator betwe5 ,god & m51 ev5 ! man ,*ri/ ,jesus4 ,gal4 iii4 #bj2 #a ,tim4 ii4 #e4 ,s likewise ! ,scripture calle? ,*ri/ a complete1 or p]fect1 or able high prie/4 ,t is op5$ 9 t ,he is call$ man1 & also ,god4 ,8 blood also is discov]$ to be effectually efficaci\s by ! same ?+s4 ,s ! ,scripture1 z t\*+ ! matt] ( meet+ toge!r1 etc41 do? likewise suffici5tly op5 itself & discov] its mean+4 ,cobb4 ,b are y will+1 said he1 to /& to ! judgm5t ( ! *ur*8 ,bun4 ,yes1 ,sir1 said ,i1 to ! approbation ( ! *ur* ( ,god2 7! *ur*'s judgm5t is be/ express$ 9 ,scripture74 ,we _h mu* o!r disc\rse :i* ,i _c well rememb]1 ab\t ! laws ( ! nation1 & submission to gov]nm5ts2 to :i* ,i did tell him1 t ,i did look ^u myself z b\nd 9 consci5ce to walk accord+ to all righte\s laws1 & t1 :e!r !re 0 a k+ or no2 & if ,i did any ?+ t 0 contr>y1 ,i did hold x my duty to be> pati5tly ! p5alty ( ! law1 t 0 provid$ aga9/ su* (f5d]s2 ) _m m words to ! l effect4 ,& said1 moreov]1 t to cut (f all occasions ( suspicion f any1 z t\*+ ! h>mlessness ( my doctr9e 9 private1 ,i w\ld will+ly take ! pa9s to give any "o ! notes ( all my s]mons2 = ,i d s9c]ely desire to live quietly 9 my c\ntry1 & to submit to ! pres5t au?ority4 ,cobb4 ,well1 neighb\r ,bunyan1 said he1 b inde$ ,i w\ld wi% y s]i\sly to consid] ( ^! ?+s1 betwe5 ?is & ! qu>t]-sessions1 & to submit y\rself4 ,y may d mu* good if y cont9ue /ill 9 ! l&2 b alas1 :at b5efit w x be to y\r fri5ds1 or :at good c y d to !m1 if y %\ld be s5t away beyond ! seas into ,spa91 or ,con/ant9ople1 or "s o!r remote "p ( ! _w8 ,pray be rul$4 ,jailor4 ,inde$1 ,sir1 ,i hope he w be rul$4 ,bun4 ,i %all desire1 said ,i1 9 all hone/y to behave myself 9 ! nation1 :il/ ,i am 9 x4 ,& if ,i mu/ be s dealt )al1 z y say1 ,i hope ,god w help me to be> :at !y %all lay ^u me4 ,i "k no evil t ,i h done 9 ?is matt]1 to be s us$4 ,i speak z 9 ! pres5ce ( ,god4 ,cobb4 ,y "k1 sai? he1 t ! ,scripture sai?1 ! p[]s t be1 are orda9$ ( ,god4 ,bun4 ,i said1 ,yes1 & t ,i 0 to submit to ! ,k+ z supreme1 & also to ! gov]nors1 z to !m :o are s5t by ,him4 ,cobb4 ,well !n1 said he1 ! ,k+ !n comm&s y1 t y %\ld n h any private meet+s2 because x is aga9/ 8 law1 & he is orda9$ ( ,god1 !re=e y %\ld n h any4 ,bun4 ,i told him t ,paul did own ! p[]s t 7 9 8 day1 to be ( ,god2 & yet he 0 (t5 9 prison "u !m = all t4 ,& also1 ?\gh ,jesus ,*ri/ told ,pilate1 t ,he _h no p[] aga9/ him1 b ( ,god1 yet ,he di$ "u ! same ,pilate2 & yet1 said ,i1 ,i hope y w n say t ei!r ,paul1 or ,*ri/1 7 su* z did d5y magi/racy1 & s s9n$ aga9/ ,god 9 slight+ ! ord9ance4 ,sir1 said ,i1 ! law ha? provid$ two ways ( obey+3 ! "o to d t :i* ,i1 9 my consci5ce1 d believe t ,i am b\nd to d1 actively2 & :]e ,i _c obey actively1 !re ,i am will+ to lie d[n1 & to suff] :at !y %all d unto me4 ,at ?is he sat /ill1 & said no m2 :i* :5 he _h done1 ,i did ?ank him = 8 civil & meek disc\rs+ ) me2 & s we p>t$4 ,o6 t we might meet 9 heav56 ,f>ewell4 ,j4 ,b4 99 99 99 99 99 ,"h foll[e? a disc\rse betwe5 my ,wife & ! ,judges1 ) o!rs1 t\*+ my ,deliv]ance at ! ,assizes foll[+2 ! :i* ,i took f h] own ,m\?4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,aft] t ,i _h receiv$ ?is s5t5ce ( bani%+1 or hang+1 f !m1 & aft] ! =m] admonition1 t\*+ ! det]m9ation ( ! ju/ices if ,i did n recant2 j :5 ! "t drew nigh1 9 :i* ,i %\ld h abjur$1 or h done worse 7z ,mr ,cobb told me71 came ! "t 9 :i* ! ,k+ 0 to be cr[n$4 #bai ,n[1 at ! coronation ( k+s1 !re is usually a releasem5t ( div]s prison]s1 by virtue ( 8 coronation2 9 :i* privilege also ,i %\ld h _h my %>e2 b t !y took me = a convict$ p]son1 & !re=e1 unless ,i su$ out a p>don 7z !y call$ x71 ,i c\ld h no b5efit !reby1 not)/&+1 yet1 =asmu* z ! coronation proclamation did give lib]ty1 f ! day ! ,k+ 0 cr[n$1 to t day twelvemon?1 to sue !m out2 !re=e1 ?\gh !y w\ld n let me out ( prison1 z !y let out ?\s&s1 yet !y c\ld n m$dle ) me1 z t\*+ ! execution ( _! s5t5ce2 because ( ! lib]ty (f]$ = ! su+ out ( p>dons4 ,:]eupon ,i cont9u$ 9 prison till ! next assizes1 :i* are call$ ,midsumm] assizes1 be+ !n kept 9 ,augu/1 #affa4 ,n[1 at t assizes1 because ,i w\ld n leave any possible means unattempt$ t might be lawful1 ,i did1 by my wife1 pres5t a petition to ! judges ?ree times1 t ,i might be he>d1 & t !y w\ld imp>tially take my case into consid]ation4 ,! fir/ "t my wife w5t1 %e pres5t$ x to ,judge ,hale1 :o v mildly receiv$ x at h] h&1 tell+ h] t he w\ld d h] & me ! be/ good he c\ld2 b he fe>$1 he said1 he c\ld d none4 ,! next day1 aga91 le/ !y %\ld1 ?r\gh ! multitude ( bus9ess1 =get me1 we did ?r[ ano!r petition into ! coa* to ,judge ,twisdon2 :o1 :5 he _h se5 x1 snapt h] up1 & angrily told h] t ,i 0 a convict$ p]son1 & c\ld n be releas$1 unless ,i w\ld promise to prea* no m1 etc4 ,well1 aft] ?is1 %e yet aga9 pres5t$ ano!r to judge ,hale1 z he sat on ! b5*1 :o1 z x seem$1 0 will+ to give h] audi5ce4 ,only ,ju/ice ,*e/] be+ pres5t1 /ept up & said1 t ,i 0 convict$ 9 ! c\rt1 & t ,i 0 a hot-spirit$ fell[ 7or words to t purpose71 :]eat he waiv$ x1 & did n m$dle !re)4 ,b yet1 my wife be+ enc\rag$ by ! high-%]iff1 did v5ture once m into _! pres5ce 7z ! poor wid[ did be=e ! unju/ judge7 to try :at %e c\ld d ) !m = my lib]ty1 be=e !y w5t =? ( ! t[n4 ,! place :]e %e w5t to !m1 0 to ! ,swan-*amb]1 :]e ! two judges1 & _m ju/ices & g5try ( ! c\ntry1 0 9 company toge!r4 ,%e !n com+ into ! *amb] ) a ba%$ face1 & a trembl+ he>t1 began h] err& to !m 9 ?is mann]3-- ,picture3 ,bunyan's ,wife plead+ ) ! ,judges ,woman4 ,my "l 7direct+ h]self to judge ,hale71 ,i make bold to come once aga9 to y\r ,lord%ip1 to "k :at may be done ) my husb&4 ,judge ,hale4 ,to :om he said1 ,woman1 ,i told !e be=e ,i c\ld d !e no good2 because !y h tak5 t = a conviction :i* ?y husb& spoke at ! sessions3 & unless !re be some?+ done to undo t1 ,i c d !e no good4 ,woman4 ,my "l1 said %e1 he is kept unlawfully 9 prison2 !y clapp$ him up be=e !re 0 any proclamation aga9/ ! meet+s2 ! indictm5t also is false4 ,besides1 !y nev] ask$ him :e!r he 0 guilty or no2 nei!r did he confess ! indictm5t4 ,"o ( ! ,ju/ices4 ,!n "o ( ! ju/ices t /ood by1 :om %e knew n1 said1 ,my ,"l1 he 0 lawfully convict$4 ,wom4 ,x is false1 said %e2 = :5 !y said to him1 ,d y confess ! indictm5t8 he said only ?is1 t he _h be5 at sev]al meet+s1 bo? :]e !re 7 prea*+ ! ,^w1 & pray]1 & t !y _h ,god's pres5ce among !m4 ,judge ,twisdon4 ,:]eat ,judge ,twisdon answ]$ v angrily1 say+1 ,:at1 y ?9k we c d :at we li/2 y\r husb& is a break] ( ! peace1 & is convict$ by ! law1 etc4 ,:]eupon ,judge ,hale call$ = ! ,/atute ,book4 ,wom4 ,b1 said %e1 my "l1 he 0 n lawfully convict$4 ,*e/]4 ,!n ,ju/ice ,*e/] said1 ,my "l1 he 0 lawfully convict$4 ,wom4 ,x is false1 said %e2 x 0 b a ^w ( disc\rse t !y took = a conviction 7z y he>d be=e74 ,*e/4 ,b x is record$1 woman2 x is record$1 said ,ju/ice ,*e/]2 z if x mu/ be ( necessity true1 because x 0 record$4 ,) :i* words he (t5 endeav\r$ to /op h] m\?1 hav+ no o!r argum5t to conv9ce h]1 b x is record$1 x is record$4 ,wom4 ,my ,"l1 said %e1 ,i 0 a :ile s9ce at ,london1 to see if ,i c\ld get my husb&'s lib]ty2 & !re ,i spoke ) my "l ,b>kwood1 "o ( ! ,h\se ( ,lords1 to :om ,i deliv]$ a petition1 :o took x ( me & pres5t$ x to "s ( ! re/ ( ! ,h\se ( ,lords1 = my husb&'s releasem5t2 :o1 :5 !y _h se5 x1 !y said1 t !y c\ld n release him1 b _h committ$ 8 releasem5t to ! judges1 at ! next assizes4 ,?is he told me2 & n[ ,i am come to y to see if any ?+ may be done 9 ?is bus9ess1 & y give nei!r releasem5t nor relief4 ,to :i* !y gave h] no answ]1 b made z if !y he>d h] n4 ,*e/4 ,only ,ju/ice ,*e/] 0 (t5 up ) ?is1--,he is convict$1 & x is record$4 ,wom4 ,if x be1 x is false1 said %e4 ,*e/4 ,my "l1 said ,ju/ice ,*e/]1 he is a pe/il5t fell[1 !re is n su* a fell[ 9 ! c\ntry aga94 ,twis4 ,:at1 w y\r husb& leave prea*+8 ,if he w d s1 !n s5d = him4 ,wom4 ,my "l1 said %e1 he d>es n leave prea*+ z long z he c speak4 ,twis4 ,see "h1 :at %\ld we talk any m ab\t su* a fell[8 ,mu/ he d :at he li/s8 ,he is a break] ( ! peace4 ,wom4 ,%e told him aga91 t he desir$ to live peaceably1 & to foll[ 8 call+1 t 8 family might be ma9ta9$2 & moreov]1 said1 ,my ,"l1 ,i h f\r small *ildr51 t _c help !mselves1 "o ( :i* is bl9d1 & h no?+ to live ^u1 b ! *>ity ( good p4 ,hale4 ,ha/ ?\ f\r *ildr58 said ,judge ,hale2 ?\ art b a "y woman to h f\r *ildr54 ,wom4 ,my "l1 said %e1 ,i am b "m-9-law to !m1 hav+ n be5 m>ri$ to him yet full two ye>s4 ,inde$1 ,i 0 ) *ild :5 my husb& 0 fir/ appreh5d$2 b be+ "y1 & unaccu/om$ to su* ?+s1 said %e1 ,i be+ smay$ #bbd at ! news1 fell into lab\r1 & s cont9u$ = eight days1 & !n 0 deliv]$1 b my *ild di$4 ,hale4 ,:]eat1 he look+ v sob]ly on ! matt]1 said1 ,alas1 poor woman6 ,twis4 ,b ,judge ,twisdon told h]1 t %e made pov]ty h] cloak2 & said1 moreov]1 t he und]/ood ,i 0 ma9ta9$ bett] by runn+ up & d[n a prea*+1 ?an by foll[+ my call+4 ,hale4 ,:at is 8 call+8 said ,judge ,hale4 ,answ]4 ,!n "s ( ! company t /ood by1 said1 ,a t9k]1 my "l4 ,wom4 ,yes1 said %e2 & because he is a t9k]1 & a poor man1 !re=e he is despis$1 & _c h ju/ice4 ,hale4 ,!n ,judge ,hale answ]$ v mildly1 say+1 ,i tell !e1 woman1 see+ x is s1 t !y h tak5 :at ?y husb& spake = a conviction2 ?\ mu/ ei!r apply ?yself to ! ,k+1 or sue out 8 p>don1 or get a writ ( error4 ,*e/4 ,b :5 ,ju/ice ,*e/] he>d him give h] ?is c\nsel2 & especially 7z %e suppos$7 because he spoke ( a writ ( error1 he *af$1 & seem$ to be v mu* (f5d$2 say+1 ,my "l1 he w prea* & d :at he li/s4 ,wom4 ,he prea*e? no?+ b ! ,^w ( ,god1 said %e4 ,twis4 ,he prea* ! ,^w ( ,god6 said ,twisdon2 & )al1 %e ?\ght he w\ld h /ruck h]2 he runne? up & d[n1 & do? h>m4 ,wom4 ,no1 my "l1 said %e1 x is n s2 ,god ha? own$ him1 & done mu* good by him4 ,twis4 ,god6 said he1 8 doctr9e is ! doctr9e ( ! devil4 ,wom4 ,my "l1 said %e1 :5 ! righte\s ,judge %all appe>1 x w be kn[n t 8 doctr9e is n ! doctr9e ( ! devil4 ,twis4 ,my "l1 said he1 to ,judge ,hale1 d n m9d h]1 b s5d h] away4 ,hale4 ,!n said ,judge ,hale1 ,i am sorry1 woman1 t ,i c d !e no good2 ?\ mu/ d "o ( ^? ?ree ?+s a=esaid1 namely1 ei!r to apply ?yself to ! ,k+1 or sue out 8 p>don1 or get a writ ( error2 b a writ ( error w be *eape/4 ,wom4 ,at :i* ,*e/] aga9 seem$ to be 9 a *afe1 & put (f 8 hat1 & z %e ?\ght1 scrat*$ 8 head = ang]3 b :5 ,i saw1 said %e1 t !re 0 no prevail+ to h my husb& s5t =1 ?\gh ,i (t5 desir$ !m t !y w\ld s5d = him1 t he might speak = himself2 tell+ !m1 t he c\ld give !m bett] satisfaction ?an ,i c\ld1 9 :at !y dem&$ ( him1 ) sev]al o!r ?+s1 :i* n[ ,i =get2 only ?is ,i rememb]1 t ?\gh ,i 0 some:at timor\s at my fir/ entrance into ! *amb]1 yet be=e ,i w5t out1 ,i c\ld n b break =? into te>s1 n s mu* because !y 7 s h>d-he>t$ aga9/ me1 & my husb&1 b to ?9k :at a sad acc\nt su* poor creatures w h to give at ! com+ ( ! ,"l1 :5 !y %all !re answ] = all ?+s :atsoev] !y h done 9 ! body1 :e!r x be good1 or :e!r x be bad4 ,s1 :5 ,i dep>t$ f !m1 ! book ( /atutes 0 br\ght1 b :at !y said ( x ,i "k no?+ at all1 nei!r did ,i he> any m f !m4 99 99 99 99 99 ,"s ,c>riages ( ! ,adv]s>ies ( ,god's ,tru? ) me at ! next ,assizes1 :i* 0 on ! #ai? ( ! fir/ mon?1 #affb4 99 99 99 99 99 ,i ,,%all pass by :at befell betwe5 ^! two assizes1 h[ ,i _h1 by my jailor1 "s lib]ty grant$ me1 m ?an at ! fir/1 & h[ ,i foll[$ my wont$ c\rse ( prea*+1 tak+ all occasions t 7 put into my h& to visit ! p ( ,god2 exhort+ !m to be /eadfa/ 9 ! fai? ( ,jesus ,*ri/1 & to take he$ t !y t\*$ n ! ,common ,pray]1 etc41 b to m9d ! ,^w ( ,god1 :i* give? direction to ,*ri/ians 9 e po9t1 be+ able to make ! man ( ,god p]fect 9 all ?+s ?r\gh fai? 9 ,jesus ,*ri/1 & ?or\ghly to furni% him unto all good works4 #b ,tim4 iii4 #ag4 ,also h[ ,i hav+1 ,i say1 some:at m lib]ty1 did g to see ! ,*ri/ians at ,london2 :i* my enemies he>+ (1 7 s angry1 t !y _h almo/ ca/ my jailor out ( 8 place1 ?reat5+ to indict him1 & to d :at !y c\ld aga9/ him4 ,!y *>g$ me also1 t ,i w5t ?i!r to plot & raise division1 & make insurrection1 :i*1 ,god kn[s1 0 a sl&]2 :]eupon my lib]ty 0 m /rait5$ ?an x 0 be=e2 s t ,i mu/ n n[ look out ( ! door4 ,well1 :5 ! next sessions came1 :i* 0 ab\t ! #aj? ( ! #aa? mon? 7#affa71 ,i did expect to h be5 v r\ndly dealt )al2 b !y pass$ me by1 & w\ld n call me1 s t ,i re/$ till ! assizes1 :i* 0 held ! #ai? ( ! fir/ mon? 7#affb7 foll[+2 & :5 !y came1 because ,i _h a desire to come be=e ! judge1 ,i desir$ my jailor to put my "n into ! cal5d> among ! felons1 & made fri5ds ( ! judge & high-%]iff1 :o promis$ t ,i %\ld be call$3 s t ,i ?\ght :at ,i _h done might h be5 effectual = ! obta9+ ( my desire3 b all 0 9 va92 = :5 ! assizes came1 ?\gh my "n 0 9 ! cal5d>1 & also ?\gh bo? ! judge & %]iff _h promis$ t ,i %\ld appe> be=e !m1 yet ! ju/ices & ! cl]k ( ! peace1 did s "w x ab\t1 t ,i1 not)/&+1 0 def]r$1 & 0 n suff]$ to appe>3 & al?\gh ,i say1 ,i d n "k ( all _! c>riages t[>ds me1 yet ?is ,i "k1 t ! cl]k ( ! peace 7,mr ,cobb7 did discov] himself to be "o ( my greate/ oppos]s3 =1 fir/ he came to my jailor & told him t ,i mu/ n g d[n be=e ! judge1 & !re=e mu/ n be put into ! cal5d>2 to :om my jailor said1 t my "n 0 9 already4 ,he bid him put x out aga92 my jailor told him t he c\ld n3 = he _h giv5 ! judge a cal5d> ) my "n 9 x1 & also ! %]iff ano!r4 ,at :i* he 0 v mu* displeas$1 & desir$ to see t cal5d> t 0 yet 9 my jailor's h&1 :o1 :5 he _h giv5 x him1 he look$ on x1 & said x 0 a false cal5d>2 he also took ! cal5d> & blott$ out my accusation1 z my jailor _h writt5 x 7:i* accusation ,i _c tell :at x 01 because x 0 s blott$ out71 & he himself put 9 words to ?is purpose3 ,t ,john ,bunyan 0 committ$ to prison2 be+ lawfully convict$ = uphold+ ( unlawful meet+s & conv5ticles1 etc4 ,b yet = all ?is1 fe>+ t :at he _h done1 unless he add$ !reto1 x w\ld n d1 he fir/ ran to ! cl]k ( ! assizes2 !n to ! ju/ices1 & aft]w>ds1 because he w\ld n leave any means unattempt$ to h9d] me1 he came aga9 to my jailor1 & told him1 t if ,i did g d[n be=e ! judge1 & 0 releas$1 he w\ld make him pay my fees1 :i* he said 0 due to him2 & fur!r1 told him1 t he w\ld compla9 ( him at ! next qu>t] sessions = mak+ ( false cal5d>s1 ?\gh my jailor himself1 z ,i aft]w>ds le>n$1 _h put 9 my accusation worse ?an 9 itself x 0 by f>4 ,& ?us 0 ,i h9d]$ & prev5t$ at t "t also f appe>+ be=e ! judge3 & left 9 prison4 ,f>ewell4 ,,john ,,bunyan4 ,a ,cont9uation ( ,mr ,,bunyan',s ,,life2 beg9n+ :]e he left (f1 & conclud+ ) ! ,"t & ,mann] ( 8 ,dea? & ,burial3 toge!r ) 8 true ,"*1 etc4 ,,read]1 ! pa9ful & indu/ri\s au?or ( ?is book1 has already giv5 y a fai?ful & v mov+ relation ( ! beg9n+ & middle ( ! days ( 8 pilgrimage on e>?2 & s9ce !re yet rema9s some:at wor?y ( notice & reg>d1 :i* occurr$ 9 ! la/ sc5e ( 8 life1 ! :i*1 = want ( "t1 or fe>1 "s ov]-c5sori\s p %\ld impute x to him z an e>ne/ covet+ ( praise f m51 he has n left beh9d him 9 writ+4 ,:]e=e1 z a true fri5d1 & long acqua9tance ( ,mr ,bunyan's t 8 good end may be kn[n1 z well z 8 evil beg9n+1 ,i h tak5 ^u me1 f my k1 & ! be/ acc\nt giv5 by o!r ( 8 fri5ds1 to piece ?is to ! ?read too soon broke (f1 & s l5g!n x out to 8 ent]+ ^u et]nity4 ,he has told y at l>ge1 ( 8 bir? & education2 ! evil habits & corruptions ( 8 y\?2 ! temptations he /ruggl$ & conflict$ s frequ5tly )1 ! m]cies1 com=ts1 & deliv]ances he f\nd1 h[ he came to take ^u him ! prea*+ ( ! ,gospel2 ! sl&]s1 reproa*es & imprisonm5ts t att5d$ him1 & ! progress he not)/&+ made 7by ! assi/ance ( ,god's grace7 no d\bt to ! sav+ ( _m s\ls3 !re=e take ^! ?+s1 z he himself ha? me?odically laid !m d[n 9 ! words ( v]ity2 & s ,i pass on to :at rema9s4 ,aft] 8 be+ fre$ f 8 twelve ye>s' imprisonm5t & upw>ds1 = noncon=mity1 :]e9 he _h "t to furni% ! _w ) sundry good books1 etc41 & by 8 pati5ce1 to move ,dr ,b>l[1 ! !n ,bi%op ( ,l9coln1 & o!r *ur*-m51 to pity 8 h>d & unreasonable suff]+s1 s f> z to /& v mu* 8 fri5ds1 9 procur+ 8 enl>gem5t1 or !re p]haps he _h di$1 by ! noisom5ess & ill usage ( ! place4 ,be+ n[1 ,i say1 aga9 at lib]ty1 & hav+ ?r\gh m]cy %ak5 (f 8 bodily fett]s1--= ^? ^u 8 s\l 7 brok5 be=e by ! ab\nd+ grace t fill$ 8 he>t1--he w5t to visit ^? t _h be5 a com=t to him 9 8 tribulation1 ) a ,*ri/ian-l ackn[l$gm5t ( _! k9dness & enl>gem5t ( *>ity2 giv+ enc\ragem5t by 8 example1 if x happ5$ to be _! h>d haps to fall into affliction or tr\ble1 !n to suff] pati5tly = ! sake ( a good consci5ce1 & = ! love ( ,god 9 ,jesus ,*ri/ t[>ds _! s\ls1 & by _m cordial p]suasions1 support$ "s ^: spirits began to s9k l[1 ?r\gh ! fe> ( dang] t ?reat5$ _! worldly conc]nm5t1 s t ! p f\nd a wond]ful consolation 9 8 disc\rse & admonitions4 ,z (t5 z opportunity w\ld admit1 he ga!r$ !m toge!r 7?\gh ! law 0 !n 9 =ce aga9/ meet+s7 9 conv5i5t places1 & f$ !m ) ! s9c]e milk ( ! ,^w1 t !y might gr[ up 9 grace !reby4 ,to su* z 7 any:]e tak5 & imprison$ ^u ^! acc\nts1 he made x ano!r "p ( 8 bus9ess to ext5d 8 *>ity1 & ga!r relief = su* ( !m z want$4 ,he took great c>e to visit ! sick1 & /r5g!n !m aga9/ ! sugge/ions ( ! tempt]1 :i* at su* times are v preval5t2 s t !y _h cause = ev] to bless ,god1 ,:o _h put x into 8 he>t1 at su* a "t1 to rescue !m f ! p[] ( ! ro>+ lion1 :o s\ght to dev\r !m2 nor did he sp>e any pa9s or lab\r 9 travel1 ?\gh to remote c\nties1 :]e he knew or imag9$ any p might /& 9 ne$ ( 8 assi/ance2 insomu* t "s1 by ^! visitations t he made1 :i* 0 two or ?ree e ye> 7"s1 ?\gh 9 a je]+ mann] no d\bt1 gave him ! epi!t ( ,bi%op ,bunyan7 :il/ o!rs envi$ him = 8 s e>ne/ly lab\r+ 9 ,*ri/'s v9ey>d2 yet ! se$ ( ! ,^w he 7all ?is :ile7 s[$ 9 ! he>ts ( 8 congregation1 wat]$ ) ! grace ( ,god1 br\ght =? 9 abundance1 9 br++ 9 disciples to ! *ur* ( ,*ri/4 ,ano!r "p ( 8 "t is sp5t 9 reconcil+ diff]5ces1 by :i* he h9d]$ _m mis*iefs1 & sav$ "s families f ru91 & 9 su* fall+s-out he 0 uneasy1 till he f\nd a means to lab\r a reconciliation1 & become a peace-mak]1 on :om a bless+ is promis$ 9 holy writ2 & inde$ 9 do+ ?is good (fice1 he may be said to sum up 8 days1 x be+ ! la/ und]tak+ ( 8 life1 z w appe> 9 ! close ( ?is pap]4 ,:5 9 ! late reign1 lib]ty ( consci5ce 0 unexpect$ly giv5 & indulg$ to diss5t]s ( all p]suasions1 8 pi]c+ wit p5etrat$ ! veil1 & f\nd t x 0 n = ! diss5t]s' sakes !y 7 s sudd5ly fre$ f ! h>d prosecutions t _h long la9 heavy ^u !m1 & set 9 a mann]1 on an equal foot ) ! ,*ur* ( ,engl&1 :i* ! papi/s 7 und]m9+1 & ab\t to subv]t3 he =esaw all ! advantages t c\ld h r$\nd$ to ! diss5t]s w\ld h be5 no m ?an :at ,polyphemus1 ! mon/r\s giant ( ,sicily1 w\ld h all[$ ,ulysses1 viz43 ,t he w\ld eat 8 m5 fir/1 & d him ! fav\r ( be+ eat5 la/3 = al?\gh ,mr ,bunyan1 foll[+ ! examples ( o!rs1 did lay hold ( ?is lib]ty1 z an acceptable ?+ 9 itself1 kn[+ ,god is ! only ,"l ( consci5ce1 & t x is good at all times to d accord+ to ! dictates ( a good consci5ce1 & t ! prea*+ ! glad tid+s ( ! ,gospel is beautiful 9 ! prea*]2 yet 9 all ?is he mov$ ) caution & a holy fe>1 e>ne/ly pray+ = ! av]t+ imp5d+ judgm5ts1 :i* he saw1 l a black tempe/1 hang+ ov] our heads = our s9s1 & ready to break 9 ^u u1 & t ! ,n9evites' rem$y 0 n[ highly necess>y3 h]eupon he ga!r$ 8 congregation at ,b$=d1 :]e he mo/ly liv$1 & _h liv$ & sp5t ! greate/ "p ( 8 life2 & !re be+ no conv5i5t place to be _h = ! ent]ta9m5t ( s great a conflu5ce ( p z foll[$ him ^u ! acc\nt ( 8 tea*+1 he consult$ ) !m = ! build+ ( a meet+-h\se1 to :i* !y made _! volunt>y contributions ) all *e]fulness & alacrity2 & ! fir/ "t he appe>$ !re to edify1 ! place 0 s ?rong$1 t _m 0 con/ra9$ to /ay )\t1 ?\gh ! h\se 0 v spaci\s1 e "o /riv+ to p>take ( 8 in/ructions1 t 7 ( 8 p]suasion1 & %[ _! good-w t[>ds him1 by be+ pres5t at ! op5+ ( ! place2 & "h he liv$ 9 mu* peace & quiet ( m9d1 cont5t+ himself ) t little ,god _h be/[$ ^u him1 & seque/]+ himself f all secul> employm5ts1 to foll[ t ( 8 call to ! m9i/ry2 = z ,god said to ,moses1 ,he t made ! lips & he>t1 c give eloqu5ce & wisdom1 )\t extraord9>y acquirem5ts 9 an univ]sity4 ,dur+ ^! ?+s1 !re 7 regulators s5t into all cities & t[ns corporate1 to new model ! gov]nm5t 9 ! magi/racy1 etc41 by turn+ out "s1 & putt+ 9 o!rs3 aga9/ ?is ,mr ,bunyan express$ 8 zeal ) "s we>9ess1 z =esee+ ! bad consequ5ce t w\ld att5d x1 & lab\r$ ) 8 congregation to prev5t _! be+ impos$ on 9 ?is k9d2 & :5 a great man 9 ^? days1 com+ to ,b$=d ^u "s su* err&1 s5t = him1 z 'tis suppos$1 to give him a place ( public tru/1 he w\ld by no means come at him1 b s5t 8 excuse4 ,:5 he 0 at leisure f writ+ & tea*+1 he (t5 came up to ,london1 & !re w5t among ! congregations ( ! non-con=mi/s1 & us$ 8 tal5t to ! great good-lik+ ( ! he>]s2 & ev5 "s to :om he _h be5 mis-repres5t$1 ^u ! acc\nt ( 8 education1 7 conv9c$ ( 8 wor? & k 9 sacr$ ?+s1 z p]ceiv+ him to be a man ( r\nd judgm5t1 deliv]+ himself pla9ly & p[]fully2 insomu* t _m1 :o came m]e spectators = novelty sake r ?an to edify & be improv$1 w5t away well satisfi$ ) :at !y he>d1 & wond]$1 z ! ,jews did at ! ,apo/les1 viz43 ,:5ce ?is man %\ld h ^! ?+s2 p]haps n consid]+ t ,god m imm$iately assi/s ^? t make x _! bus9ess indu/ri\sly & *e]fully to lab\r 9 ,8 v9ey>d4 ,?us he sp5t 8 latt] ye>s 9 imitation ( 8 great ,"l & ,ma/]1 ! ev]-bless$ ,jesus2 he w5t ab\t do+ good1 s t ! mo/ pry+ critic1 or ev5 ,malice h]self1 is defi$ to f9d1 ev5 ^u ! n>r[e/ se>* or obs]vation1 any sully or /a9 ^u 8 reputation1 ) :i* he may be ju/ly *>g$2 & ?is we note1 z a *all5ge to ^? t h ! lea/ reg>d = him1 or !m ( 8 p]suasion1 & h "o way or o!r appe>$ 9 ! front ( ^? t oppress$ him2 & = ! turn+ ^: he>ts1 9 ob$i5ce to ! commission & comm&m5t giv5 him ( ,god1 he frequ5tly pray$1 & sometimes s\ght a bless+ = !m1 ev5 ) te>s1 ! effects ( :i*1 !y may1 p]adv5ture1 ?\gh undes]v$ly1 h f\nd 9 _! p]sons1 fri5ds1 relations1 or e/ates2 = ,god w he> ! pray] ( ! fai?ful1 & answ] !m1 ev5 = !m t vex !m1 z x happ5$ 9 ! case ( ,job's pray+ = ! ?ree p]sons t _h be5 griev\s 9 _! reproa* aga9/ him1 ev5 9 ! day ( 8 sorr[4 ,b yet let me come a little ne>] to p>ticul>s & p]iods ( "t1 = ! bett] refre%+ ! memories ( ^? t knew 8 lab\r & suff]+1 & = ! satisfaction ( all t %all read ?is book4 ,aft] he 0 s5sibly convict$ ( ! wick$ /ate ( 8 life1 & conv]t$1 he 0 baptiz$ into ! congregation1 & admitt$ a memb] !re(1 viz41 9 ! ye> #afee1 & became spe$ily a v zeal\s pr(essor2 b ^u ! return ( ,k+ ,*>les to ! cr[n 9 #affj1 he 0 ! #ab? ( ,novemb] tak51 z he 0 edify+ "s good p t 7 got toge!r to he> ! ^w1 & conf9$ 9 ,b$=d jail = ! space ( six ye>s1 till ! act ( ,indulg5ce to diss5t]s be+ all[$1 he obta9$ 8 fre$om1 by ! int]cession ( "s 9 tru/ & p[]1 t took pity on 8 suff]+s2 b )9 six ye>s aft]w>ds he 0 aga9 tak5 up1 viz41 9 ! ye> #afff1 & 0 !n conf9$ = six ye>s m1 :5 ev5 ! jailor took su* pity ( 8 rigor\s suff]+s1 t he did z ! ,egyptian jailor did to ,joseph1 put all ! c>e & tru/ 9 8 h&3 ,:5 he 0 tak5 ?is la/ "t1 he 0 prea*+ on ^! words1 viz43 ,do/ ?\ believe ! ,son ( ,god8 ,& ?is imprisonm5t cont9u$ six ye>s1 & :5 ?is 0 ov]1 ano!r %ort affliction1 :i* 0 an imprisonm5t ( half a ye>1 fell to 8 %>e4 ,dur+ ^! conf9em5ts he wrote ! foll[+ books1 viz43 ,( ,pray] by ! ,_s3 ,! ,holy ,city's ,resurrection3 ,grace ,ab\nd+3 ,pilgrim's ,progress1 ! fir/ "p4 ,9 ! la/ ye> ( 8 twelve ye>s' imprisonm5t1 ! pa/or ( ! congregation at ,b$=d di$1 & he 0 *os5 to t c>e ( s\ls1 on ! #ab? ( ,decemb] #afga4 ,& 9 ?is 8 *>ge1 he (t5 _h disputes ) s*ol>s t came to oppose him1 z suppos+ him an ignorant p]son1 & ?\gh he argu$ pla9ly1 & by ,scripture1 )\t phrases & logical expressions1 yet he nonpluss$ "o :o came to oppose him 9 8 congregation1 by dem&+1 ,:e!r or no we _h ! true copies ( ! orig9al ,scriptures2 & ano!r1 :5 he 0 prea*+1 accus$ him ( un*>itabl5ess1 = say+1 ,x 0 v h>d = mo/ to be sav$2 say+1 by t he w5t ab\t to exclude mo/ ( 8 congregation2 b he confut$ him1 & put him to sil5ce ) ! p>able ( ! /ony gr\nd1 & o!r texts out ( ! #ac? *apt] ( ,/ ,mat!w1 9 our ,savi\r's s]mon out ( a %ip2 all 8 me?ods be+ to keep close to ! ,scriptures1 & :at he f\nd n w>rant$ !re1 himself w\ld n w>rant nor det]m9e1 unless 9 su* cases z 7 pla91 :]e9 no d\bts or scruples did arise4 ,b n to make any fur!r m5tion ( ?is k9d1 x is well kn[n t ?is p]son manag$ all 8 affairs ) su* exactness1 z if he _h made x 8 /udy1 above all o!r ?+s1 n to give occasion ( (f5ce1 b r suff] _m inconv5i5ces1 to avoid be+ nev] he>d to reproa* or revile any1 :at injury soev] he receiv$1 b r to rebuke ^? t did2 & z x 0 9 8 conv]sation1 s x is manife/$ 9 ^? books he has caus$ to be publi%$ to ! _w2 :]e l ! ar*angel disput+ ) ,satan ab\t ! body ( ,moses1 z we f9d x 9 ! epi/le ( ,/ ,jude1 br+s no rail+ accusation 7b leaves ! rebuk]s1 ^? t p]secut$ him7 to ! ,"l4 ,9 8 family he kept up a v /rict discipl9e 9 pray] & exhortation2 be+ 9 ?is l ,jo%ua1 z ! good man expresses x1 viz41 ,:atsoev] o!rs did1 z = me & my h\se1 we w s]ve ! ,"l3 & inde$ a bless+ wait$ on 8 lab\rs & endeav\rs1 s t 8 wife1 z ! ,psalmi/ says1 0 l a pleasant v9e ^u ! walls ( 8 h\se1 & 8 *ildr5 l olive bran*es r\nd 8 table2 = s %all x be ) ! man t fe>s ! ,"l1 & ?\gh by reason ( ! _m losses he su/a9$ by imprisonm5t & spoil1 ( 8 *>geable sickness1 etc41 8 e>?ly treasure swell$ n to excess2 he always _h suffici5t to live dec5tly & cr$itably1 & ) t he _h ! greate/ ( all treasures1 :i* is cont5t2 = z ! wise man says1 ,t is a cont9ual fea/4 ,b :]e cont5t dwells1 ev5 a poor cottage is a k+ly palace1 & ?is happ9ess he _h all 8 life long2 n s mu* m9d+ ?is _w1 z kn[+ he 0 "h z a pilgrim & /rang]1 & _h no t>ry+ city1 b look$ = "o made ) h&s et]nal 9 ! highe/ heav5s3 b at l5g? 0 worn out ) suff]+s1 age1 & (t5 tea*+1 ! day ( 8 dissolution drew ne>1 & dea?1 t unlocks ! prison ( ! s\l1 to enl>ge x = a m glori\s mansion1 put a /op to 8 act+ 8 "p on ! /age ( mortality2 heav51 l e>?ly pr9ces1 :5 x ?reat5s w>1 be+ always s k9d z to call home its ambassadors be=e x be d5\nc$1 & ev5 ! la/ act or und]tak+ ( 81 0 a lab\r ( love & *>ity2 = x s fall+ out t a "y g5tleman1 a neighb\r ( ,mr ,bunyan's1 happ5+ into ! displeasure ( 8 fa!r1 & be+ mu* tr\bl$ 9 m9d ^u t acc\nt1 & also = t he he>d 8 fa!r purpos$ to dis9h]it him1 or o!rwise deprive him ( :at he _h to leave2 he pit*$ ^u ,mr ,bunyan z a fit man to make way = 8 submission1 & prep>e 8 fa!r's m9d to receive him2 & he1 z will+ to d any good (fice1 z x c\ld be reque/$1 z readily und]took x2 & s rid+ to ,read+ 9 ,b]k%ire1 he !n !re us$ su* press+ argum5ts & reasons aga9/ ang] & passion1 z also = love & reconciliation1 t ! fa!r 0 mollifi$1 & 8 b[els ye>n$ to 8 return+ son4 ,b ,mr ,bunyan1 aft] he _h dispos$ all ?+s to ! be/ = accommodation1 return+ to ,london1 & be+ ov]tak5 ) excessive ra9s1 com+ to 8 lodg+s extremely wet1 fell sick ( a viol5t fev]1 :i* he bore ) mu* con/ancy & pati5ce1 & express$ himself z if he desir$ no?+ m ?an to be dissolv$1 & be ) ,*ri/1 9 t case e/eem+ dea? z ga91 & life only a t$i\s delay+ felicity expect$2 & f9d+ 8 vital /r5g? decay1 hav+ settl$ 8 m9d & affairs1 z well z ! %ortness ( "t1 & ! viol5ce ( 8 disease w\ld p]mit1 ) a con/ant & *ri/ian pati5ce1 he resign$ 8 s\l into ! h&s ( 8 mo/ m]ciful ,r$eem]1 foll[+ 8 pilgrim f ! ,city ( ,de/ruction1 to ! ,new ,j]usalem2 8 bett] "p hav+ be5 all along !re1 9 holy contemplation1 pant+s & brea?+s aft] ! hidd5 manna & wat] ( life1 z by _m holy & humble consolations express$ 9 8 lett]s to sev]al p]sons 9 prison1 & out ( prison1 too _m to be ins]t$ at pres5t4 ,he di$ at ! h\se ( "o ,mr ,/ruddock1 a groc]1 at ! ,/> on ,sn[ ,hill1 9 ! p>i% ( ,/ ,sepul*re's1 ,london1 on ! #ab? ( ,augu/ #afhh1 & 9 ! sixtie? ye> ( 8 age1 #bda aft] t5 days' sickness2 & 0 buri$ 9 ! new bury+ place ne> ! ,artill]y ,gr\nd2 :]e he sleeps to ! morn+ ( ! resurrection1 9 hopes ( a glori\s ris+ to an incorruptible immortality ( joy & happ9ess2 :]e no m tr\ble & sorr[ %all afflict him1 b all te>s be wip$ away2 :5 ! j %all be incorporat$ z memb]s ( ,*ri/ _! head1 & reign ) ,him z k+s & prie/s = ev]4 ,a brief ,"* ( ,mr ,,john ,,bunyan ,,he appe>$ 9 c\nt5ance to be ( a /]n & r\gh temp]1 b 9 8 conv]sation mild & affable2 n giv5 to loquacity or mu* disc\rse 9 company1 unless "s urg5t occasion requir$ x2 obs]v+ nev] to boa/ ( himself or 8 p>ts1 b r seem l[ 9 8 own eyes1 & submit himself to ! judgm5t ( o!rs1 abhorr+ ly+ & swe>+1 be+ j 9 all t lay 9 8 p[] to 8 ^w1 n seem+ to rev5ge injuries1 lov+ to reconcile diff]5ces1 & make fri5d%ip ) all2 he _h a %>p quick eye1 accompani$ ) an excell5t disc]n+ ( p]sons1 be+ ( good judgm5t & quick wit4 ,z = 8 p]son1 he 0 tall ( /ature1 /rong bon$1 ?\gh n corpul5t1 some:at ( a ruddy face1 ) sp>kl+ eyes1 we>+ 8 hair on 8 upp] lip1 aft] ! old ,briti% fa%ion2 8 hair r$di%1 b 9 8 latt] days1 "t _h spr9kl$ x ) grey2 8 nose well set1 b n decl9+ or b5d+1 & 8 m\? mod]ate l>ge2 8 =ehead some:at high1 & 8 habit always pla9 & mode/4 ,& ?us h we imp>tially describ$ ! int]nal & ext]nal p>ts ( a p]son1 ^: dea? ha? be5 mu* regrett$2 a p]son :o _h tri$ ! smiles & fr[ns ( "t2 n puff$ up 9 prosp]ity1 nor %ak5 9 adv]sity2 always hold+ ! gold5 mean4 ,9 him at once did ?ree great wor?ies %9e1 ,hi/orian1 poet1 & a *oice div9e3 ,!n let him re/ 9 undi/urb$ du/1 ,until ! resurrection ( ! j4 ,,po/script ,,9 ?is 8 pilgrimage1 ,god bless$ him ) f\r *ildr51 "o ( :i*1 nam$ ,m>y1 0 bl9d1 & di$ "s ye>s be=e2 8 o!r *ildr5 7 ,?omas1 ,joseph1 & ,s>ah2 8 wife ,elizabe? hav+ liv$ to see him ov]come 8 lab\r & sorr[1 & pass f ?is life to receive ! rew>d ( 8 "w1 long surviv$ him n2 b 9 #afib %e di$1 to foll[ h] fai?ful pilgrim f ?is _w to ! o!r1 :i!r he 0 gone be=e h]2 :il/ 8 works1 :i* consi/ ( sixty books1 rema9 = ! edify+ ( ! read]1 & praise ( ! au?or4 ,vale4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,f9is 99 99 99 99 99 ,,footnotes #g ,! m>g9al summ>ies h n be5 includ$ 9 ?is ,project ,gut5b]g e,text4--,,dp4 #ahd ,! text f :i* he int5d$ to prea* 01 ,do? ?\ believe on ! ,son ( ,god8 ,jn4 ix4 #ce4 ,see ,preface to 8 ,confession ( ,fai?4 #ahg;a ,ju/ice ,w+ate4 #ahg;b ,ibid4 #aia;a ,a "r ,judas4 #aia;b ,bunyan4 #baj ,! ,v5n] insurrection is "h ref]r$ to4 #bad ,bunyan "h ref]s to a translation ( ,wickliffe's doctr9e 9 ,john ,foxe's ,m>tyrology1 a fav\rite book ( 84 #bai ,april #bc1 #affa4 #bbd #8,smay$1' an obsolete contraction ( #8dismay$1' #bda ,x is an e/abli%$ fact t ,john ,bunyan di$ on ,friday1 ,augu/ #ca1 #afhh4 ,he is record$ to h prea*$ 8 la/ s]mon on ,augu/ #ai4