---------------------------------------- -------------------------------- ,transcrib]'s ,note3 ,?is v]sion ( ! text _c repres5t c]ta9 typographical effects4 ,italics are delimit$ ) ! #8' "* z italic4 ,footnotes h be5 mov$ to foll[ ! p>agraphs 9 :i* !y are ref]5c$4 ,m9or errors1 attributable to ! pr9t]1 h be5 correct$4 ,please see ! transcrib]'s note at ! end ( ?is text = details reg>d+ ! h&l+ ( any textual issues enc\nt]$ dur+ its prep>ation4 ,illu/ration3 ,view ( ! ,p>sonage 9 ,cranbury1 ,new-,j]sey1 ,july1 #ahcc4 ,occupy+ ! gr\nd :]e ,bra9]d prea*$ to ! ,indians1 #agdf4 ,,! ,,life ,,( ,,rev4 ,,david ,,bra9]d1 ,,*iefly ,,extract$ ,,f ,,8 ,,di>y4 ------------------------------------ ,,by ,,presid5t ,,edw>ds4 ------------------------------------ ,,some:at ,,abridg$4 ,,embrac+1 ,,9 ,,! ,,*ronological ,,ord] ,,bra9]d',s ,,public ,,j\rnal ,,( ,,! ,,mo/ ,,successful ,,ye> ,,( ,,8 ,,mission>y ,,labors4 ,,publi%$ ,,by ,,! ,,am]ican ,,tract ,,society1 #aej ,,nassau-,,/reet1 ,,new ,,york4 ,x is a /rik+ *>act]i/ic ( ! life ( ,,bra9]d1 f ! "t ( 8 ent]+ on ! /udy ( ,!ology till 8 dea?1 t he daily 8walk$ ) ,god10 or m\rn$ ! abs5ce ( ! light ( 8 c\nt5ance4 ,presid5t ,edw>ds has endeavor$ to exhibit ! /ate ( 8 m9d ea* day1 z describ$ 9 8 di>y4 ,9 ?is edition1 _m passages ?us ins]t$ by ,edw>ds1 especially su* z mu* resembl$ ^? prec$+ or foll[+1 h be5 omitt$4 ,,cont5ts ,page4 ,presid5t ,edw>ds' ,preface #e ,,*ap ,i4--,f 8 bir? to ! "t :5 he began to /udy = ! #i m9i/ry--conta9+ 8 own n>rative ( 8 conv]sion1 8 connection ) ,yale ,college & ! gr\nds ( 8 expulsion ,,*ap4 ,,ii4--,f ab\t ! "t :5 he began ! /udy ( #cb !ology1 till he 0 lic5s$ to prea* ,,*ap4 ,,iii4--,f 8 be+ lic5s$ to prea*1 till he 0 #de commission$ z a mission>y ,,*ap4 ,,iv4--,f 8 appo9tm5t z a mission>y1 to 8 comm5c+ #eb 8 mission among ! ,indians at ,kaunaumeek1 9 ,new-,york ,,*ap4 ,v4--,8 labors = ne>ly a ye> at ,kaunaumeek--temporal #fa deprivations & suff]+s--e/abli%es a s*ool--confession (f]$ to ! ,faculty ( ,yale ,college--days ( fa/+--me?ods ( in/ruct+ ! ,indians--visit to ,new-,j]sey & ,connecticut--comm5cem5t ( labor among ! ,indians at ! ,=ks ( ,delaw>e--ord9ation ,,*ap4 ,,vi4--,labors = ! ,indians at & ne> ! ,=ks ( #ie ,delaw>e--idolatr\s fea/ & dance--j\rney ?r\gh ! wild]ness to ,opeholhaupung1 on ! ,susquehanna--erects a cottage at ! ,=ks ( ,delaw>e--"s evid5ces ( a "w ( ! ,_s among ! ,indians--j\rney to ,new-,engl&1 to obta9 funds to support a colleague--visit to ! ,indians on ! ,susquehanna--j\rney to ,crossweeksung1 9 ,new-,j]sey ,,*ap4 ,,vii4--,be+ ,"p ,i4 ( 8 public ,j\rnal ( 8! ,rise & #acb ,progress ( a rem>kable ,"w ( ,grace among ! ,indians 9 ,new-,j]sey & ,p5nsylvania2 kept by ord] ( ! ,society 9 ,scotl& = propagat+ ,*ri/ian ,k0--comm5cem5t ( 8 labors at ,crossweeksung--r5ewal ( labor at ! ,=ks ( ,delaw>e--conv]sion ( 8 int]pret]--return to ,crossweeksung--outp\r+ ( ! ,_s--visit to ! ,=ks ( ,delaw>e & ! ,susquehanna--a p[aw--a conjur]--r5ewal ( labor at ,crossweeksung--rem>ks on ! "w ( div9e grace ,,*ap4 ,,viii4--,be+ ,"p ,,ii4 ( 8 public ,j\rnal ( 8! #aid ,cont9uance & ,progress ( a ,rem>kable ,"w ( ,grace among ! ,indians 9 ,new-,j]sey & ,p5nsylvania2 kept by ord] ( ! ,society 9 ,scotl& = propagat+ ,*ri/ian ,k0--r5ewal ( labor at ,crossweeksung--outp\r+ ( ! ,_s--rem>kable case--signal displays ( div9e p[]--a conv]t--a numb] ( ,*ri/ian ,indians accompany him to ! ,=ks ( ,delaw>e--/rik+ conv]sion at ,crossweeksung--day ( fa/+--,"l's supp]--conv]sion ( a conjur]--g5]al rem>ks on ! prec$+ n>rative ,,*ap4 ,,ix4--,f ! close ( 8 public ,j\rnal1 ,june #ai1 #agdf1 to #bgh 8 dea?1 ,octob] #i1 #agdg--;cont9uance ( labor at ,crossweeksung & ,cranb]ry--j\rney ) six ,*ri/ian ,indians to ! ,susquehanna1 & labors !re--return to ,crossweeksung--compell$ by pro/ration ( heal? to leave ! ,indians--conf9em5t by sickness at ,elizabe?t[n--f>ewell visit to ! ,indians--8 bro!r ,john succe$s him z a mission>y--arrival among 8 fri5ds 9 ,connecticut--visit to ,presid5t ,edw>ds1 9 ,nor?ampton--j\rney to ,bo/on1 :]e he is br\ght ne> to dea?--usefulness 9 ,bo/on--return to ,nor?ampton--triumphs ( grace 9 8 la/ sickness--dea? ,,*ap4 ,x4--,reflections on ! prec$+ memoir #cde ,,f ,,presid5t ,,edw>ds' ,,preface4 ,!re is "o ?+1 easily disc]nible 9 ! life ( ,,bra9]d1 :i* by _m may be consid]$ an objection to ! extraord9>y evid5ces ( 8 religion & devotion1 viz4 t he 01 by 8 con/itution & natural temp]1 s prone to melan*oly & dejection ( ,_s4 ,!re are "s :o ?9k t all religion is a melan*oly ?+2 & t :at is call$ ,*ri/ian exp]i5ce is little else beside melan*oly1 di/urb+ ! bra91 & excit+ en?usia/ic imag9ations4 ,b t ,bra9]d's temp] or con/itution incl9$ him to despond5cy1 is no j gr\nd = suppos+ t 8 extraord9>y devotion 0 only ! fruit ( a w>m imag9ation4 ,not)/&+ ?is incl9ation to despond5cy1 he 0 evid5tly "o ( ^? :o usually are ! f>!/ f a teem+ imag9ation2 be+ ( a p5etrat+ g5ius1 ( cle> ?\ght1 ( close reason+1 & a v exact judgm5t2 z 0 app>5t to all :o knew him4 ,z he _h a great insight into human nature1 & 0 v disc]n+ & judici\s 9 g5]al2 s he excell$ 9 8 judgm5t & k 9 div9ity1 b especially 9 exp]im5tal religion4 ,he mo/ accurately di/+ui%$ betwe5 real1 solid piety1 & en?usiasm2 betwe5 ^? affections t are rational & scriptural1 hav+ _! f\ndation 9 light & judgm5t1 & ^? t are f\nd$ 9 :imsical conceits1 /rong impressions on ! imag9ation1 & vehem5t emotions ( ! animal spirits4 ,he 0 exce$+ly s5sible ( m5's exposure to ^! ?+s2 h[ ext5sively !y _h prevail$1 & :at multitudes _h be5 deceiv$ by !m2 ( _! p]nici\s consequ5ces1 & ! fe>ful mis*ief !y _h done 9 ! ,*ri/ian _w4 ,he _h no confid5ce 9 su* a religion1 & 0 abundant 9 be>+ te/imony aga9/ x1 liv+ & dy+2 & 0 quick to disc]n :5 any ?+ ( t nature arose1 ?\gh 9 its fir/ budd+s1 & appe>+ "u ! mo/ fair & plausible disguises4 ,he _h a tal5t1 :i* ,i sc>cely ev] knew equall$1 = describ+ ! v>i\s work+s ( ?is imag9>y en?usia/ic religion1 ev9c+ its fals5ess & vanity1 & demon/rat+ ! great diff]5ce betwe5 ?is & true spiritual devotion4 ,8 judici\sness did n only appe> 9 di/+ui%+ among ! exp]i5ces ( o!rs1 b also among ! v>i\s ex]cises ( 8 own m9d2 p>ticul>ly 9 disc]n+ :at )9 himself 0 to be laid to ! score ( melan*oly2 9 :i* he exce$$ all melan*oly p]sons t ev] ,i 0 acqua9t$ )4 ,?is 0 d\btless ow+ to a peculi> /r5g? 9 8 judgm5t2 = x is a r>e ?+ inde$1 t p]sons "u ! influ5ce ( melan*oly are s5sible ( _! own disease1 & conv9c$ t su* ?+s are to be ascrib$ to x1 z are its g5u9e op]ations & fruits4 ,bra9]d did n obta9 t degree ( skill at once1 b gradually2 z ! read] may disc]n by ! foll[+ acc\nt ( 8 life4 ,9 ! =m] "p ( 8 religi\s c\rse1 he imput$ mu* ( t k9d ( gloom9ess ( m9d to spiritual des]tion1 :i* 9 ! latt] "p ( 8 life he 0 abundantly s5sible 0 ow+ to ! disease ( melan*oly2 accord+ly he (t5 expressly speaks ( x 9 8 di>y1 z aris+ f ?is cause4 ,he (t5 9 conv]sation spoke ( ! diff]5ce betwe5 melan*oly & godly sorr[2 betwe5 true humiliation & spiritual des]tion2 & ! great dang] ( mi/ak+ ! "o = ! o!r1 & ! v hurtful nature ( melan*oly2 disc\rs+ ) great judgm5t ^u x1 & d\btless mu* m judici\sly = :at he knew by 8 own exp]i5ce4 ,ano!r imp]fection 9 ,bra9]d1 :i* may be obs]v$ 9 ! foll[+ acc\nt ( 8 life1 0 8 be+ excessive 9 8 labors2 n tak+ due c>e to proportion 8 fatigues to 8 /r5g?4 ,inde$1 ! seem+ calls ( ,provid5ce 7 v (t5 su* z made x extremely difficult = him to avoid labor+ beyond 8 /r5g?2 yea1 8 circum/ances1 & ! bus9ess ( 8 mission among ! ,indians1 7 su*1 t great fatigues & h>d%ips 7 altoge!r inevitable4 ,h[ev]1 he 0 f9ally conv9c$ t he _h err$ 9 ?is matt]1 & t he ought to h tak5 m ?or\gh c>e1 & be5 m resolute to )/& temptations to su* degrees ( labor z injur$ 8 heal?2 & accord+ly he w>n$ 8 bro!r1 :o succe$$ him 9 8 mission1 to be c>eful to avoid ?is error4 ,besides ! imp]fections already m5tion$1 x is readily all[$ t !re 7 "s imp]fections :i* ran ?r\gh 8 :ole life1 & 7 mix$ ) all 8 religi\s affections & ex]cises2 "s mixture ( :at 0 natural1 ) t :i* 0 spiritual2 z x ev]more is 9 ! be/ sa9ts 9 ?is _w4 ,d\btless1 natural temp] _h "s influ5ce 9 ! religi\s ex]cises ( ,bra9]d1 z x mo/ app>5tly _h 9 ^? ( ! dev\t ,david1 & ! ,apo/les ,pet]1 ,john1 & ,paul4 ,!re 0 und\bt$ly v (t5 "s mixture ( melan*oly ) true godly sorr[ & real ,*ri/ian humility2 "s mixture ( ! natural fire ( y\?1 ) 8 holy zeal = ,god2 & "s influ5ce ( natural pr9ciples1 mix$ ) grace 9 v>i\s o!r respects1 z x ev] 0 & ev] w be ) ! sa9ts1 :ile on ?is side heav54 ,p]haps none 7 m s5sible ( ,bra9]d's imp]fections ?an himself2 or c\ld di/+ui% m accurately ?an he1 betwe5 :at 0 natural & :at 0 spiritual4 ,x is easy = ! judici\s read] to obs]ve t 8 graces rip5$1 t ! religi\s ex]cises ( 8 he>t became m & m pure1 & he m & m di/+ui%+ 9 8 judgm5t1 ! long] he liv$4 ,he _h mu* to tea* & purify him1 & he fail$ n to pr(it !reby4 ,not)/&+ all ^! imp]fections1 e pi\s & judici\s read] w readily ackn[l$ge t :at is "h set be=e him is a rem>kable in/ance ( true & em95t piety1 9 he>t & practice--t5d+ greatly to confirm ! reality ( vital religion1 & ! p[] ( godl9ess2 t x is mo/ wor?y ( imitation1 & 9 _m ways calculat$ to promote ! spiritual b5efit ( ! c>eful obs]v]4 ,! read] %\ld be aw>e t :at ,bra9]d wrote 9 8 di>y1 out ( :i* ! foll[+ acc\nt ( 8 life is *iefly tak51 0 writt5 only = 8 own private use2 & n to obta9 honor & applause 9 ! _w1 nor ) any design t ! _w %\ld ev] see x1 ei!r :ile he liv$1 or aft] 8 dea?2 except a few ?+s :i* he wrote 9 a dy+ /ate1 aft] he _h be5 p]suad$1 ) difficulty1 n entirely to suppress all 8 private writ+s4 ,he %[$ himself almo/ inv9cibly av]se to ! publi%+ ( any "p ( 8 di>y aft] 8 dea?2 & :5 he 0 ?\ght to be dy+ at ,bo/on1 gave ! mo/ /rict1 p]emptory ord]s to ! contr>y4 ,b be+ by "s ( 8 fri5ds !re1 prevail$ ^u to )draw s /rict & absolute a prohibition1 he 0 f9ally pleas$ to yield s f>1 z t 88 pap]s %\ld be left 9 my h&s1 t ,i might dispose ( !m z ,i ?\ght w\ld be mo/ = ,god's glory & ! int]e/ ( religion40 ,,jona?an ,,edw>ds4 ---------------------------------------- -------------------------------- ,,life ,,( ,,rev4 ,,david ,,bra9]d4 ------------------------------------ ,,*apt] ,i4 ,f 8 bir? to ! "t :5 he began to /udy = ! ,m9i/ry--conta9+ 8 own n>rative ( 8 conv]sion1 8 connection ) ,yale-,college1 & ! gr\nds ( 8 expulsion4 ,april #bj1 #agah-;,feb4 #agda4 ,david ,bra9]d 0 born ,april #bj1 #agah1 at ,haddam1 ,connecticut4 ,8 fa!r 0 ,hezekiah ,bra9]d1 ,esq4 & 8 "m1 ,doro?y ,hob>t1 daught] ( ! ,rev4 ,j]emiah ,hob>t4 ,he 0 ! ?ird son ( 8 p>5ts1 :o _h five sons & f\r daught]s4 ,! olde/ son 0 a respectable citiz5 ( ,haddam2 ! second 0 ,rev4 ,nehemiah ,bra9]d1 a wor?y m9i/] 9 ,ea/bury1 9 ,connecticut2 ! f\r?1 ,mr4 ,john ,bra9]d1 :o succe$$ 8 bro!r ,david z mission>y to ! ,indians1 & pa/or ( ! same *ur* ( ,*ri/ian ,indians 9 ,new-,j]sey2 & ! fif? 0 ,israel1 lately /ud5t at ,yale-,college1 :o di$ soon aft] 8 bro!r ,david4 ,_! "m1 hav+ liv$ ab\t five ye>s a wid[1 di$ :5 ! subject ( ?is memoir 0 ab\t f\rte5 ye>s ( age2 s t 9 8 y\? he 0 left bo? fa!rless & mo!rless4 ,! foll[+ is ! acc\nt he has himself giv5 ( ! fir/ tw5ty-?ree ye>s ( 8 life4 8,i 0 f my y\? some:at sob]1 & incl9$ to melan*oly2 b d n rememb] any ?+ ( conviction ( s91 wor?y ( rem>k1 till ,i 01 ,i believe1 ab\t sev5 or eight ye>s ( age4 ,!n ,i became conc]n$ = my s\l1 & t]rifi$ at ! ?\ghts ( dea?2 & 0 driv5 to ! p]=mance ( religi\s duties3 b x appe>$ a melan*oly bus9ess t de/roy$ my eag]ness = play4 ,& ?\gh1 alas6 ?is religi\s conc]n 0 b %ort-liv$1 ,i sometimes att5d$ secret pray]2 & ?us liv$ 8)\t ,god 9 ! _w10 & )\t mu* conc]n1 z ,i rememb]1 till ,i 0 above ?irte5 ye>s ( age4 ,9 ! w9t] ( #agcb ,i 0 r\s$ out ( ?is c>nal security by1 ,i sc>ce "k :at means at fir/2 b 0 mu* excit$ by ! preval5ce ( a mortal sickness 9 ,haddam4 ,i 0 frequ5t1 con/ant1 & some:at f]v5t 9 pray]2 & took delight 9 read+1 especially ,mr4 ,,janeway's ,tok5 = ,*ildr54 ,i felt sometimes mu* melt$ 9 ! duties ( religion1 took great delight 9 ! p]=mance ( !m1 & sometimes hop$ t ,i 0 conv]t$1 or at lea/ 9 a good & hopeful way = heav5 & happ9ess2 n kn[+ :at conv]sion 04 ,! ,_s ( ,god at ?is "t proce$$ f> ) me4 ,i 0 rem>kably dead to ! _w2 my ?\ghts 7 almo/ :olly employ$ ab\t my s\l's conc]ns2 & ,i may inde$ say1 8,almo/ ,i 0 p]suad$ to be a ,*ri/ian40 ,i 0 also exce$+ly di/ress$ & melan*oly at ! dea? ( my "m1 9 ,m>*1 #agcb4 ,b aft]w>d my religi\s conc]n began to decl9e1 & by degrees ,i fell back into a consid]able degree ( security1 ?\gh ,i /ill att5d$ secret pray]4 8,ab\t ! #ae? ( ,april1 #agcc1 ,i remov$ f my fa!r's h\se to ,ea/-,haddam1 :]e ,i sp5t f\r ye>s2 b /ill 8)\t ,god 9 ! _w10 ?\gh1 = ! mo/ "p1 ,i w5t a r\nd ( secret duty4 ,i 0 n mu* addict$ to ! company & ! amusem5ts ( ! "y2 b ?is ,i "k1 t :5 ,i did g into su* company ,i nev] return$ ) s good a consci5ce z :5 ,i w5t4 ,x always add$ new guilt1 made me afraid to come to ! ?rone ( grace1 & spoil$ ^? good frames ) :i* ,i 0 wont sometimes to please myself4 ,b1 alas6 all my good frames 7 b self-righte\sness1 n f\nd$ on a desire = ! glory ( ,god4 8,ab\t ! end ( ,april1 #agcg1 be+ full n9ete5 ye>s ( age1 ,i remov$ to ,durham1 to "w on my f>m1 & cont9u$ ab\t "o ye>2 frequ5tly long+ aft] a lib]al education4 ,:5 ab\t tw5ty ye>s ( age ,i appli$ myself to /udy2 & 0 n[ engag$ m ?an ev] 9 ! duties ( religion4 ,i became v /rict1 & wat*ful ov] my ?\ghts1 words1 & actions2 conclud$ t ,i mu/ be sob] inde$1 because ,i design$ to devote myself to ! m9i/ry2 & imag9$ t ,i did d$icate myself to ! ,"l4 8,sometime 9 ,april1 #agch1 ,i w5t to live ) ,rev4 ,mr4 ,fiske1 ( ,haddam1 & cont9u$ ) him dur+ 8 life4 ,i rememb] he advis$ me :olly to ab&on "y company1 & associate myself ) grave eld]ly p2 :i* c\nsel ,i foll[$4 ,my mann] ( life 0 n[ :olly regul>1 & full ( religion1 su* z x 02 = ,i read my bible m ?an twice ?r\gh 9 less ?an a ye>1 sp5t mu* "t e day 9 pray] & o!r secret duties1 gave great att5tion to ! ^w prea*$1 & endeavor$ to my utmo/ to reta9 x4 ,s mu* conc]n$ 0 ,i ab\t religion1 t ,i agre$ ) "s "y p]sons to meet privately on ,sabba? ev5+s = religi\s ex]cises1 & ?\ght myself s9c]e 9 ^! duties2 & aft] our meet+ 0 end$ ,i us$ to repeat ! disc\rses ( ! day to myself2 recollect+ :at ,i c\ld1 ?\gh sometimes v late at night4 ,i us$ occasionally on ,monday morn+s to recollect ! same s]mons2 _h sometimes pleasure 9 religi\s ex]cises1 & _h _m ?\ghts ( jo9+ ! *ur*4 ,9 %ort1 ,i _h a v good outside1 & re/$ entirely on my duties1 ?\gh ,i 0 n s5sible ( x4 8,aft] ,mr4 ,fiske's dea? ,i proce$$ 9 my /udies ) my bro!r2 0 /ill v con/ant 9 religi\s duties1 (t5 wond]$ at ! levity ( pr(essors1 & lam5t$ _! c>elessness 9 religion4--,?us ,i proce$$ a consid]able l5g? on a self-righte\s f\ndation2 & %\ld h be5 entirely lo/ & undone _h n ! m]e m]cy ( ,god prev5t$4 8,sometime 9 ! beg9n+ ( w9t]1 #agch1 x pleas$ ,god1 "o ,sabba? morn+1 z ,i 0 walk+ out = secret duties1 to give me on a sudd5 su* a s5se ( my dang]1 & ! wra? ( ,god1 t ,i /ood amaz$1 & my =m] good frames pres5tly vani%$4 ,f ! view :i* ,i _h ( my s9 & vil5ess1 ,i 0 mu* di/ress$ all t day1 fe>+ t ! v5geance ( ,god w\ld soon ov]take me4 ,i 0 mu* deject$2 kept mu* alone2 & sometimes envi$ ! birds & bea/s _! happ9ess1 because !y 7 n expos$ to et]nal mis]y1 z ,i evid5tly saw t ,i 04 ,?us ,i liv$ f day to day1 be+ frequ5tly 9 great di/ress3 sometimes !re appe>$ m\nta9s be=e me to ob/ruct my hopes ( m]cy2 & ! "w ( conv]sion appe>$ s great1 t ,i ?\ght ,i %\ld nev] be ! subject ( x4 ,i us$1 h[ev]1 to pray & cry to ,god1 & p]=m o!r duties ) great e>ne/ness2 & ?us hop$ by "s means to make ! case bett]4 8,hundr$s ( times ,i r5\nc$ all pret5ces ( any wor? 9 my duties1 z ,i ?\ght1 ev5 :ile p]=m+ !m2 & (t5 confess$ to ,god t ,i des]v$ no?+ = ! v be/ ( !m1 b et]nal condemnation2 yet /ill ,i _h a secret hope ( recomm5d+ myself to ,god by my religi\s duties4 ,:5 ,i pray$ affectionately1 & my he>t seem$ 9 "s measure to melt1 ,i hop$ t ,god w\ld be !reby mov$ to pity me4 ,!re 01 !n1 "s appe>ance ( goodness 9 my pray]s1 & ,i seem$ to m\rn = s94 ,i c\ld 9 "s measure v5ture on ! m]cy ( ,god 9 ,*ri/1 z ,i ?\ght2 ?\gh ! prepond]at+ ?\ght1 ! f\ndation ( my hope 0 "s imag9ation ( goodness 9 my melt+s ( he>t1 ! w>m? ( my affections1 & my extraord9>y enl>gem5ts 9 pray]4 ,?\gh at times ! gate appe>$ s v /rait t x look$ next to impossible to ent]2 yet1 at o!r times ,i flatt]$ myself t x 0 n s v difficult1 & hop$ ,i %\ld by dilig5ce & wat*fulness soon ga9 ! po9t4 ,sometimes aft] enl>gem5t 9 duty & consid]able affection1 ,i hop$ ,i _h made a good /ep t[>d heav51 & imag9$ t ,god 0 affect$ z ,i 01 & w\ld he> su* s9c]e cries1 z ,i call$ !m4 ,& s sometimes1 :5 ,i )drew = secret pray] 9 great di/ress1 ,i return$ com=table2 & ?us heal$ myself ) my duties4 8,9 ,febru>y1 #agci1 ,i set ap>t a day = secret fa/+ & pray]1 & sp5t ! day 9 almo/ incessant cries to ,god = m]cy1 t he w\ld op5 my eyes to see ! evil ( s91 & ! way ( life by ,jesus ,*ri/4 ,god 0 pleas$ t day to make consid]able discov]ies ( my he>t to me4 ,/ill ,i tru/$ 9 all ! duties ,i p]=m$1 ?\gh !re 0 no mann] ( goodness 9 !m2 !re be+ 9 !m no respect to ! glory ( ,god1 nor any su* pr9ciple 9 my he>t4 ,yet ,god 0 pleas$ to make my endeavors1 t day1 a means to %[ me my helplessness 9 "s measure4 8,sometimes ,i 0 greatly enc\rag$1 & imag9$ t ,god lov$ me & 0 pleas$ ) me1 & ?\ght ,i %\ld soon be fully reconcil$ to ,god4 ,b ! :ole 0 f\nd$ on m]e presumption1 aris+ f enl>gem5t 9 duty1 or w>m? ( affections1 or "s good resolutions1 or ! l4 ,& :51 at times1 great di/ress began to arise on a sight ( my vil5ess & inability to deliv] myself f a sov]eign ,god1 ,i us$ to put (f ! discov]y1 z :at ,i c\ld n be>4 ,once1 ,i rememb]1 a t]rible pang ( di/ress seiz$ me2 & ! ?\ght ( r5\nc+ myself1 & /&+ nak$ be=e ,god1 /ripp$ ( all goodness1 0 s dreadful to me t ,i 0 ready to say to x1 z ,felix to ,paul1 8,g ?y way = ?is "t40 ,?us1 ?\gh ,i daily long$ = great] conviction ( s92 suppos+ t ,i mu/ see m ( my dreadful /ate 9 ord] to a rem$y2 yet1 :5 ! discov]ies ( my vile1 wick$ he>t 7 made to me1 ! sight 0 s dreadful1 & %[$ me s pla9ly my expos$ness to damnation1 t ,i c\ld n endure x4 ,i con/antly /rove aft] :atev] qualifications ,i imag9$ o!rs obta9$ be=e ! reception ( ,*ri/1 9 ord] to recomm5d me to 8 favor4 ,sometimes ,i felt ! p[] ( a h>d he>t1 & suppos$ x mu/ be s(t5$ be=e ,*ri/ w\ld accept ( me2 & :5 ,i felt any melt+s ( he>t1 ,i hop$ n[ ! "w 0 almo/ done4 ,h5ce1 :5 my di/ress /ill rema9$ ,i 0 wont to murmur at ,god's deal+s ) me2 & ?\ght1 :5 o!rs felt _! he>ts s(t5$1 ,god %[$ !m m]cy2 b my di/ress rema9$ /ill4 8,at times ,i grew remiss & sluggi%1 )\t any great convictions ( s91 = a consid]able "t toge!r2 b aft] su* a season convictions sometimes seiz$ me m viol5tly4 ,"o night ,i rememb] 9 p>ticul>1 :5 ,i 0 walk+ solit>ily abroad1 ,i _h op5$ to me su* a view ( my s9 t ,i fe>$ ! gr\nd w\ld cleave asund] "u my feet1 & become my grave2 & s5d my s\l quick into hell1 be=e ,i c\ld get home4 ,?\gh ,i 0 =c$ to g to b$1 le/ my di/ress %\ld be discov]$ by o!rs1 :i* ,i mu* fe>$2 yet ,i sc>cely dur/ sleep at all1 = ,i ?\ght x w\ld be a great wond] if ,i %\ld be out ( hell 9 ! morn+4 ,& ?\gh my di/ress 0 sometimes ?us great1 yet ,i greatly dread$ ! loss ( convictions1 & return+ back to a /ate ( c>nal security1 & to my =m] ins5sibility ( imp5d+ wra?2 :i* made me exce$+ly exact 9 my behavi\r1 le/ ,i %\ld /ifle ! motions ( ,god's ,holy ,_s4 ,:5 at any "t ,i took a view ( my convictions1 & ?\ght ! degree ( !m to be consid]able1 ,i 0 wont to tru/ 9 !m2 b ?is confid5ce1 & ! hope ( soon mak+ "s notable advances t[>d deliv]ance1 w\ld ease my m9d1 & ,i soon became m s5seless & remiss4 ,aga91 :5 ,i disc]n$ my convictions to gr[ languid1 & ?\ght !m ab\t to leave me1 ?is imm$iately al>m$ & di/ress$ me4 ,sometimes ,i expect$ to take a l>ge /ep1 & get v f> t[>d conv]sion1 by "s p>ticul> opportunity or means ,i _h 9 view4 8,! _m disappo9tm5ts1 ! great di/ress & p]plexity :i* ,i exp]i5c$1 put me into a mo/ horrible frame ( conte/+ ) ! almighty2 ) inw>d vehem5ce & virul5ce f9d+ fault ) 8 ways ( deal+ ) mank9d4 ,my wick$ he>t (t5 wi%$ = "s o!r way ( salvation ?an by ,jesus ,*ri/4 ,be+ l ! tr\bl$ sea1 my ?\ghts confus$1 ,i us$ to contrive to escape ! wra? ( ,god by "s o!r means4 ,i _h /range projects1 full ( ,a!ism1 contriv+ to disappo9t ,god's designs & decrees conc]n+ me1 or to escape 8 notice & hide myself f him4 ,b :5 ^u reflection ,i saw ^! projects 7 va91 & w\ld n s]ve me1 & t ,i c\ld contrive no?+ = my own relief1 ?is w\ld ?r[ my m9d into ! mo/ horrid frame1 to wi% !re 0 no ,god1 or to wi% !re 0 "s o!r ,god t c\ld control him4 ,^! ?\ghts & desires 7 ! secret incl9ations ( my he>t1 frequ5tly act+ be=e ,i 0 aw>e2 b1 alas6 !y 7 m9e1 al?\gh ,i 0 fright5$ :5 ,i came to reflect on !m4 ,:5 ,i consid]$1 x di/ress$ me to ?9k t my he>t 0 s full ( enmity aga9/ ,god2 & x made me tremble1 le/ 8 v5geance %\ld sudd5ly fall ^u me4 ,i us$ be=e to imag9e t my he>t 0 n s bad z ! ,scriptures & "s o!r books repres5t$ x4 ,sometimes ,i us$ to take mu* pa9s to "w x up into a good frame1 a humble submissive disposition2 & hop$ !re 0 !n "s goodness 9 me4 ,b1 on a sudd51 ! ?\ghts ( ! /rictness ( ! law1 or ! sov]eignty ( ,god1 w\ld s irritate ! corruption ( my he>t t ,i _h s wat*$ ov] & hop$ ,i _h br\ght to a good frame1 t x w\ld break ov] all b\nds1 & bur/ =? on all sides1 l floods ( wat]s :5 !y break d[n _! dam4 8,be+ s5sible ( ! necessity ( deep humiliation 9 ord] to a sav+ close ) ,*ri/1 ,i us$ to set myself to produce 9 my own he>t ! convictions requisite 9 su* a humiliation3 z1 a conviction t ,god w\ld be j1 if he ca/ me (f = ev]2 t if ev] ,god %\ld be/[ m]cy on me1 x w\ld be m]e grace1 ?\gh ,i %\ld be 9 di/ress _m ye>s fir/1 & be nev] s mu* engag$ 9 duty2 & t ,god 0 n 9 ! lea/ oblig$ to pity me ! m = all pa/ duties1 cries1 & te>s4 ,i /rove to my utmo/ to br+ myself to a firm belief ( ^! ?+s & a he>ty ass5t to !m2 & hop$ t n[ ,i 0 br\ght (f f myself1 truly humbl$1 & t ,i b[$ to ! div9e sov]eignty4 ,i 0 wont to tell ,god 9 my pray]s1 t n[ ,i _h ^? v dispositions ( s\l :i* he requir$1 & on :i* he %[$ m]cy to o!rs1 & !reupon to beg & plead = m]cy to me4 ,b :5 ,i f\nd no relief1 & 0 /ill oppress$ ) guilt & fe>s ( wra?1 my s\l 0 9 a tumult1 & my he>t rose aga9/ ,god1 z deal+ h>dly ) me4 ,yet !n my consci5ce flew 9 my face1 putt+ me 9 m9d ( my late confession to ,god ( 8 ju/ice 9 my condemnation4 ,?is1 giv+ me a sight ( ! badness ( my he>t1 ?rew me aga9 into di/ress2 & ,i wi%$ t ,i _h wat*$ my he>t m n>r[ly1 to keep x f break+ out aga9/ ,god's deal+s ) me4 ,i ev5 wi%$ t ,i _h n plead$ = m]cy on acc\nt ( my humiliation2 because !reby ,i _h lo/ all my seem+ goodness4 ,?us1 scores ( times ,i va9ly imag9$ myself humbl$ & prep>$ = sav+ m]cy4 ,:ile ,i 0 9 ?is di/ress$1 bewild]$1 & tumultu\s /ate ( m9d1 ! corruption ( my he>t 0 especially irritat$ ) ! foll[+ ?+s4 #a4 8,! /rictness ( ! div9e law4 ,= ,i f\nd x 0 impossible = me1 aft] my utmo/ pa9s1 to answ] its dem&s4 ,i (t5 made new resolutions1 & z (t5 broke !m4 ,i imput$ ! :ole to c>elessness1 & ! want ( be+ m wat*ful1 & us$ to call myself a fool = my neglig5ce4 ,b :51 ^u a /rong] resolution1 & great] endeavors1 & close application to fa/+ & pray]1 ,i f\nd all attempts fail2 !n ,i qu>rell$ ) ! law ( ,god1 z unreasonably rigid4 ,i ?\ght1 if x ext5d$ only to my outw>d actions & behavior1 t ,i c\ld be> ) x2 b ,i f\nd t x condemn$ me = my evil ?\ghts1 & s9s ( my he>t1 :i* ,i c\ld n possibly prev5t4 ,i 0 extremely lo? to own my utt] helplessness 9 ?is matt]3 b aft] repeat$ disappo9tm5ts1 ?\ght t r ?an p]i% ,i c\ld d a little m /ill2 especially if su* & su* circum/ances might b att5d my endeavors & /riv+s4 ,i hop$ t ,i %\ld /rive m e>ne/ly ?an ev]1 if ! matt] came to extremity1 ?\gh ,i nev] c\ld f9d ! "t to d my utmo/ 9 ! mann] ,i int5d$4 ,?is hope ( future m favorable circum/ances1 & ( do+ some?+ great h]eaft]1 kept me f utt] despair 9 myself1 & f see+ myself fall5 into ! h&s ( a sov]eign ,god1 & dep5d5t on no?+ b free & b\ndless grace4 #b4 8,ano!r po9t t irritat$ me 01 t fai? alone 0 ! condition ( salvation2 t ,god w\ld n come d[n to l[] t]ms2 & t he w\ld n promise life & salvation ^u my s9c]e & he>ty pray]s & endeavors4 ,t ^w1 ,m>k #af3af1 8,he t believe? n %all be damn$10 cut (f all hope !re4 ,i f\nd t fai? 0 ! sov]eign gift ( ,god2 t ,i c\ld n get x z ( myself2 & c\ld n oblige ,god to be/[ x ^u me by any ( my p]=mances1 ,eph4 #b3a1 #h4 8,?is10 ,i 0 ready to say1 8is a h>d say+1 :o c he> x80 ,i c\ld n be> t all ,i _h done %\ld /& = m]e no?+2 z ,i _h be5 v consci5ti\s 9 duty1 _h be5 v religi\s a great :ile1 & _h1 z ,i ?\ght1 done mu* m ?an _m o!rs :o _h obta9$ m]cy4 ,i confess$ inde$ ! vil5ess ( my duties2 b !n :at made !m at t "t seem vile1 0 my w&]+ ?\ghts 9 !m1 r ?an because ,i 0 all ov] defil$ l a devil1 & ! pr9ciple corrupt f :5ce !y fl[$1 s t ,i c\ld n possibly d any ?+ t 0 good4 ,h5ce ,i call$ :at ,i did by ! "n ( hone/ fai?ful endeavors2 & c\ld n be> x1 t ,god _h made no promises ( salvation to !m4 #c4 8,i c\ld n f9d out :at fai? 02 or :at x 0 to believe & come to ,*ri/4 ,i read ! calls ( ,*ri/ to ! we>y & heavy lad52 b c\ld f9d no way 9 :i* he direct$ !m to come4 ,i ?\ght ,i w\ld gladly come1 if ,i knew h[2 ?\gh ! pa? ( duty 7 nev] s difficult4 ,i read ,/odd>d's ,guide to ,*ri/1 7:i* ,i tru/ 01 9 ! h& ( ,god1 ! happy means ( my conv]sion17 & my he>t rose aga9/ ! au?or2 = ?\gh he told me my v he>t all along "u convictions1 & seem$ to be v b5eficial to me 9 8 directions2 yet "h he seem$ to me to fail3 he did n tell me any ?+ ,i c\ld d t w\ld br+ me to ,*ri/1 b left me z x 7 ) a great gulph betwe5 me & ,*ri/1 )\t any direction h[ to get ?r\gh4 ,= ,i 0 n yet effectually & exp]im5tally taught1 t !re c\ld be no way prescrib$1 :]eby a natural man c\ld1 ( 8 own /r5g?1 obta9 t :i* is sup]natural1 & :i* ! highe/ angel _c give4 #d4 8,ano!r po9t 0 ! sov]eignty ( ,god4 ,i c\ld n be> t x %\ld be :olly at ,god's pleasure1 to save or damn me1 j z he w\ld4 ,t passage1 ,rom4 #i3aa-bc1 0 a con/ant vexation to me1 especially v]se #ba4 ,read+ or m$itat+ on ?is1 always de/roy$ my seem+ good frames2 = :5 ,i ?\ght ,i 0 almo/ humbl$1 & almo/ resign$1 ?is passage w\ld make my enmity aga9/ ,god appe>4 ,:5 ,i came to reflect on ! inw>d enmity & blasphemy :i* arose on ?is occasion1 ,i 0 ! m afraid ( ,god1 & driv5 fur!r f any hopes ( reconciliation ) him4 ,x gave me a dreadful view ( myself2 ,i dread$ m ?an ev] to see myself 9 ,god's h&s1 & x made me m opposite ?an ev] to submit to 8 sov]eignty2 = ,i ?\ght ,he design$ my damnation4 8,all ?is "t ! ,_s ( ,god 0 p[]fully at "w ) me2 & ,i 0 inw>dly press$ to rel9qui% all self-confid5ce1 all hope ( ev] help+ myself by any means :atsoev]4 ,! conviction ( my lo/ e/ate 0 sometimes s cle> & manife/ be=e my eyes t x 0 z if x _h be5 decl>$ to me 9 s _m words1 8,x is done1 x is done1 x is = ev] impossible to deliv] y\rself40 ,= ab\t ?ree or f\r days my s\l 0 ?us greatly di/ress$4 ,at "s turns1 = a few mom5ts1 ,i seem$ to myself lo/ & undone2 b !n w\ld %r9k back imm$iately f ! sight1 because ,i d>$ n v5ture myself into ! h&s ( ,god1 z :olly helpless1 & at ! disposal ( 8 sov]eign pleasure4 ,i d>$ n see t important tru? conc]n+ myself1 t ,i 0 8dead 9 trespasses & s9s40 ,b :5 ,i _h1 z x 71 ?ru/ away ^! views ( myself at any "t1 ,i felt di/ress$ to h ! same discov]ies ( myself aga92 = ,i greatly fe>$ be+ giv5 ov] ( ,god to f9al /upidity4 ,:5 ,i ?\ght ( putt+ x (f to a m 8conv5i5t season10 ! conviction 0 s close & p[]ful1 t ! pres5t "t 0 ! be/1 & probably ! only "t1 t ,i d>$ n put x (f4 8,x 0 ! sight ( tru? conc]n+ myself1 tru? respect+ my /ate1 z a creature fall5 & ali5at$ f ,god1 & t consequ5tly c\ld make no dem&s on ,god = m]cy1 b 0 at 8 absolute disposal1 f :i* my s\l %rank away1 & :i* ,i trembl$ to ?9k ( behold+4 ,?us1 he t doe? evil1 z all unreg5]ate m5 cont9ually d1 hates ! light ( tru?1 nei!r c>es to come to x1 because x w reprove 8 de$s1 & %[ him 8 j des]ts4 ,john1 #c3bj4 ,sometime be=e1 ,i _h tak5 mu* pa9s1 z ,i ?\ght1 to submit to ! sov]eignty ( ,god2 yet ,i mi/ook ! ?+1 & did n once imag9e1 t see+ & be+ made exp]im5tally s5sible ( ?is tru?1 :i* my s\l n[ s mu* dread$ & trembl$ at1 0 ! frame ( s\l :i* ,i _h s e>ne/ly desir$4 ,i _h ev] hop$ t :5 ,i _h atta9$ to t humiliation :i* ,i suppos$ necess>y to prec$e fai?1 !n x w\ld n be fair = ,god to ca/ me (f2 b n[ ,i saw x 0 s f> f any goodness 9 me1 to own myself spiritually dead & de/itute ( all goodness1 t on ! contr>y1 my m\? w\ld be = ev] /opp$ by x2 & x look$ z dreadful to me1 to see myself1 & ! relation ,i /ood 9 to ,god--,i a s9n] & crim9al1 & he a great ,judge & ,sov]eign--z x w\ld be to a poor trembl+ creature to v5ture (f "s high precipice4 ,h5ce ,i put x (f = a m9ute or two1 & tri$ = bett] circum/ances to d x 93 ei!r ,i mu/ read a passage or two1 or pray fir/1 or some?+ ( ! l nature2 or else put (f my submission to ,god ) an objection1 t ,i did n "k h[ to submit4 ,b ! tru? 01 ,i c\ld see no safety 9 own+ myself 9 ! h&s ( a sov]eign ,god1 & c\ld lay no claim to any ?+ bett] ?an damnation4 8,aft] a consid]able "t sp5t 9 simil> ex]cises & di/ress1 "o morn+1 :ile ,i 0 walk+ 9 a solit>y place1 z usual1 ,i at once saw t all my contrivances & projects to effect or procure deliv]ance & salvation = myself 7 utt]ly 9 va92 ,i 0 br\ght q to a /&1 z f9d+ myself totally lo/4 ,i _h ?\ght _m times be=e1 t ! difficulties 9 my way 7 v great2 b n[ ,i saw1 9 ano!r & v diff]5t light1 t x 0 = ev] impossible = me to d any ?+ t[>d help+ or deliv]+ myself4 ,i !n ?\ght ( blam+ myself1 t ,i _h n done m1 & be5 m engag$1 :ile ,i _h opportunity--= x seem$ n[ z if ! season ( do+ 0 = ev] ov] & gone--b ,i in/antly saw1 t let me h done :at ,i w\ld1 x w\ld no m h t5d$ to my help+ myself1 ?an :at ,i _h done2 t ,i _h made all ! pleas ,i ev] c\ld h made to all et]nity2 & t all my pleas 7 va94 ,! tumult t _h be5 be=e 9 my m9d 0 n[ quiet$2 & ,i 0 some:at eas$ ( t di/ress :i* ,i felt :ile /ruggl+ aga9/ a sight ( myself1 & ( ! div9e sov]eignty4 ,i _h ! greate/ c]ta9ty t my /ate 0 = ev] mis]able1 = all t ,i c\ld d2 & wond]$ t ,i _h nev] be5 s5sible ( x be=e4 8,:ile ,i rema9$ 9 ?is /ate my notions respect+ my duties 7 q diff]5t f :at ,i _h ev] ent]ta9$ 9 times pa/4 ,be=e ?is1 ! m ,i did 9 duty1 ! m h>d ,i ?\ght x w\ld be = ,god to ca/ me (f2 ?\gh at ! same "t ,i confess$1 & ?\ght ,i saw1 t !re 0 no goodness or m]it 9 my duties2 b n[1 ! m ,i did 9 pray] or any o!r duty1 ! m ,i saw t ,i 0 indebt$ to ,god = all[+ me to ask = m]cy2 = ,i saw t self int]e/ _h l$ me to pray1 & t ,i _h nev] once pray$ f any respect to ! glory ( ,god4 ,n[ ,i saw t !re 0 no necess>y connection betwe5 my pray]s & ! be/[m5t ( div9e m]cy2 t !y laid n ! lea/ obligation ^u ,god to be/[ 8 grace ^u me2 & t !re 0 no m virtue or goodness 9 !m ?an !re w\ld be 9 my paddl+ ) my h& 9 ! wat]1 7:i* 0 ! comp>ison ,i _h !n 9 my m9d27 & ?is because !y 7 n p]=m$ f any love or reg>d to ,god4 ,i saw t ,i _h be5 heap+ up my devotions be=e ,god1 fa/+1 pray+1 c4 pret5d+1 & inde$ really ?9k+ sometimes1 t ,i 0 aim+ at ! glory ( ,god2 :]eas ,i nev] once truly int5d$ x1 b only my own happ9ess4 ,i saw t z ,i _h nev] done any ?+ = ,god1 ,i _h no claim on any ?+ f him1 b p]dition1 on acc\nt ( my hypocrisy & mock]y4 ,oh1 h[ diff]5t did my duties n[ appe> f :at !y us$ to d6 ,i us$ to *>ge !m ) s9 & imp]fection2 b ?is 0 only on acc\nt ( ! w&]+ & va9 ?\ghts att5d+ !m1 & n because ,i _h no reg>d to ,god 9 !m2 = ?is ,i ?\ght ,i _h4 ,b :5 ,i saw evid5tly t ,i _h _h reg>d to no?+ b self-int]e/2 !n !y appe>$ a vile mock]y ( ,god1 self-wor%ip1 & a cont9u$ c\rse ( lies4 ,i saw t some?+ worse _h att5d$ my duties ?an b>ely a few w&]+s2 = ! :ole 0 no?+ b self-wor%ip1 & an horrid abuse ( ,god4 8,i cont9u$1 z ,i rememb]1 9 ?is /ate ( m9d f ,friday morn+ till ! ,sabba? ev5+ foll[+1 7,july #ab1 #agci17 :5 ,i 0 walk+ aga9 9 ! same solit>y place :]e ,i 0 br\ght to see myself lo/ & helpless1 z be=e m5tion$4 ,"h1 9 a m\rnful melan*oly /ate1 ,i 0 attempt+ to pray2 b f\nd no he>t to engage 9 pray] or any o!r duty4 ,my =m] conc]n1 ex]cise1 & religi\s affections 7 n[ gone4 ,i ?\ght t ! ,_s ( ,god _h q left me2 b /ill 0 n di/ress$2 yet disconsolate1 z if !re 0 no?+ 9 heav5 or e>? c\ld make me happy4 ,hav+ be5 ?us endeavor+ to pray--?\gh1 z ,i ?\ght1 v /upid & s5seless--= ne> half an h\r2 !n1 z ,i 0 walk+ 9 a d>k ?ick grove1 unspeakable glory seem$ to op5 to ! view & appreh5sion ( my s\l4 ,i d n mean any ext]nal brightness1 = ,i saw no su* ?+2 nor d ,i int5d any imag9ation ( a body ( light1 some:]e 9 ! ?ird heav5s1 or any ?+ ( t nature2 b x 0 a new inw>d appreh5sion or view t ,i _h ( ,god1 su* z ,i nev] _h be=e1 nor any ?+ :i* _h ! lea/ resemblance ( x4 ,i /ood /ill1 wond]$1 & admir$6 ,i knew t ,i nev] _h se5 be=e any ?+ comp>able to x = excell5cy & beauty2 x 0 widely diff]5t f all ! conceptions t ev] ,i _h ( ,god1 or ?+s div9e4 ,i _h no p>ticul> appreh5sion ( any "o p]son 9 ! ,tr9ity1 ei!r ! ,fa!r1 ! ,son1 or ! ,holy ,gho/2 b x appe>$ to be ,div9e glory t ,i !n beheld4 ,my s\l rejoic$ ) joy unspeakable1 to see su* a ,god1 su* a glori\s div9e ,be+2 & ,i 0 inw>dly pleas$ & satisfi$1 t he %\ld be ,god ov] all = ev] & ev]4 ,my s\l 0 s captivat$ & delight$ ) ! excell5cy1 lovel9ess1 greatness1 & o!r p]fections ( ,god1 t ,i 0 ev5 swall[$ up 9 him2 at lea/ to t degree t ,i _h no ?\ght1 z ,i rememb]1 at fir/1 ab\t my own salvation1 & sc>ce reflect$ t !re 0 su* a creature z myself4 8,?us ,god1 ,i tru/1 br\ght me to a he>ty disposition to exalt him1 & set him on ! ?rone1 & pr9cipally & ultimately to aim at 8 honor & glory1 z ,k+ ( ! univ]se4 ,i cont9u$ 9 ?is /ate ( inw>d joy1 peace & a/oni%m5t1 till ne> d>k1 )\t any s5sible abatem5t2 & !n began to ?9k & exam9e :at ,i _h se52 & felt sweetly compos$ 9 my m9d all ! ev5+ foll[+4 ,i felt myself 9 a new _w1 & e ?+ ab\t me appe>$ ) a diff]5t aspect f :at x 0 wont to d4 8,at ?is "t ! way ( salvation op5$ to me ) su* inf9ite wisdom1 suitabl5ess1 & excell5cy1 t ,i wond]$ ,i %\ld ev] ?9k ( any o!r way ( salvation2 ,i 0 amaz$ t ,i _h n dropp$ my own contrivances & compli$ ) ?is lovely1 bless$1 & excell5t way be=e4 ,if ,i c\ld h be5 sav$ by my own duties1 or any o!r way t ,i _h =m]ly contriv$1 my :ole s\l w\ld n[ h refus$4 ,i wond]$ t all ! _w did n see & comply ) ?is way ( salvation1 entirely by ! righte\sness ( ,*ri/4 8,! sweet reli% ( :at ,i !n felt cont9u$ ) me = sev]al days1 almo/ con/antly1 9 a great] or less degree4 ,i c\ld n b sweetly rejoice 9 ,god1 ly+ d[n & ris+ up4 ,! next ,"l's day ,i felt some?+ ( ! same k9d1 ?\gh n s p[]ful z be=e4 ,b n long aft]1 ,i 0 aga9 involv$ 9 d>kness1 & 9 great di/ress2 yet n ( ! same k9d ) my di/ress "u convictions4 ,i 0 guilty1 afraid1 & a%am$ to come be=e ,god2 & exce$+ly press$ ) a s5se ( guilt2 b x 0 n long be=e ,i felt1 ,i tru/1 true rep5tance & joy 9 ,god4 8,9 ! beg9n+ ( ,septemb] ,i w5t to ,yale ,college1 & ent]$ !re2 b ) "s degree ( reluctance1 le/ ,i %\ld n be able to lead a life ( /rict religion 9 ! mid/ ( s _m temptations4 ,aft] ?is1 9 ! vacation1 be=e ,i w5t to t>ry at college1 x pleas$ ,god to visit my s\l ) cle>] manife/ations ( himself & 8 grace4 ,i 0 sp5d+ "s "t 9 pray] & self-exam9ation1 :5 ! ,"l1 by 8 grace1 s %9$ into my he>t1 t ,i enjoy$ full assurance ( 8 favor1 = t "t2 & my s\l 0 unspeakably refre%$ ) div9e & heav5ly enjoym5ts4 ,at ?is "t especially1 z well z "s o!rs1 sundry passages ( ,god's ^w op5$ to my s\l ) div9e cle>ness1 p[]1 & sweetness1 s z to appe> exce$+ preci\s1 & ) cle> & c]ta9 evid5ce ( its be+ ! ^w ( ,god4 ,i enjoy$ consid]able sweetness 9 religion all ! w9t] foll[+4 8,9 ,jan4 #agdj1 ! measles spread mu* 9 college1 & ,i1 hav+ tak5 ! di/emp]1 w5t home to ,haddam4 ,b "s days be=e ,i 0 tak5 sick ,i seem$ to be greatly des]t$1 & my s\l m\rn$ ! abs5ce ( ! ,com=t] exce$+ly4 ,x seem$ to me t all com=t 0 = ev] gone4 ,i pray$ & cri$ to ,god = help1 yet f\nd no pres5t com=t or relief4 ,b ?r\gh div9e goodness1 a night or two be=e ,i 0 tak5 ill1 :ile ,i 0 walk+ alone 9 a v retir$ place1 & engag$ 9 m$itation & pray]1 ,i enjoy$ a sweet refre%+ visit1 z ,i tru/1 f above2 s t my s\l 0 rais$ f> above ! fe>s ( dea?4 ,inde$1 ,i r long$ = dea?1 ?an fe>$ x4 ,oh1 h[ mu* m refre%+ ?is "o season 01 ?an all ! pleasures & delights t e>? c af=d4 ,aft] a day or two ,i 0 tak5 ) ! measles1 & 0 v ill inde$1 s t ,i almo/ despair$ ( life2 b _h no di/ress+ fe>s ( dea?4 ,?r\gh div9e goodness ,i soon recov]$2 yet1 ow+ to h>d /udy1 & to my be+ mu* expos$ to int]ruptions on acc\nt ( my fre%man%ip1 ,i _h b little "t = spiritual duties1 & my s\l (t5 m\rn$ = want ( m "t & opportunity to be alone ) ,god4 ,9 ! spr+ & summ] foll[+ ,i _h bett] advantages = retirem5t1 & enjoy$ m com=t 9 religion1 ?\gh my ambition 9 my /udies greatly wrong$ ! activity & vigor ( my spiritual life4 ,x 01 h[ev]1 usually ! case ) me1 t1 89 ! multitude ( my ?\ghts )9 me1 ,god's com=ts pr9cipally delight$ my s\l40 ,^! 7 my greate/ consolations day by day4 8,"o day1 ,i ?9k x 0 9 ,june1 #agdj1 ,i walk$ to a consid]able di/ance f college1 9 ! fields alone1 at noon1 & 9 pray] f\nd su* unspeakable sweetness & delight 9 ,god1 t ,i ?\ght1 if ,i mu/ cont9ue 9 ?is evil _w1 ,i want$ always to be !re1 to behold ,god's glory4 ,my s\l de>ly lov$ all mank9d1 & long$ exce$+ly t !y %\ld enjoy :at ,i enjoy$4 ,x seem$ to be a little resemblance ( heav54 8,"s "t 9 ,augu/ foll[+ ,i became s r$uc$ 9 heal? by too close application to my /udies1 t ,i 0 advis$ by my tutor to g home1 & dis5gage my m9d f /udy z mu* z ,i c\ld2 = ,i 0 gr[n s weak t ,i began to raise blood4 ,i took 8 advice1 & endeavor$ to lay aside my /udies4 ,b be+ br\ght v l[1 ,i look$ dea? 9 ! face m /eadfa/ly2 & ! ,"l 0 pleas$ to give me r5ew$ly a sweet s5se & reli% ( div9e ?+s2 & p>ticul>ly ,octob] #ac1 ,i f\nd div9e help & consolation 9 ! preci\s duties ( secret pray] & self-exam9ation1 & my s\l took delight 9 ! bless$ ,god3--s likewise on ! #ag? ( ,octob]4 ,oct4 #ah4 8,9 my morn+ devotions my s\l 0 exce$+ly melt$1 & bitt]ly m\rn$ ov] my great s9fulness & vil5ess4 ,i nev] be=e _h felt s pung5t & deep a s5se ( ! odi\s nature ( s91 z at ?is "t4 ,my s\l 0 !n unusually c>ri$ =? 9 love to ,god1 & _h a lively s5se ( ,god's love to me4 ,& ?is love & hope1 at t "t case out fe>4 ,"l's day1 ,oct4 #ai4 8,9 ! morn+ ,i felt my s\l hung]+ & ?ir/+ aft] righte\sness4 ,:ile ,i 0 look+ on ! elem5ts ( ! ,"l's ,supp]1 & ?9k+ t ,jesus ,*ri/ 0 n[ 8set =? crucifi$ be=e me10 my s\l 0 fill$ ) light & love1 s t ,i 0 almo/ 9 an ec/acy2 my body 0 s weak ,i c\ld sc>cely /&4 ,i felt at ! same "t an exce$+ t5d]ness & mo/ f]v5t love t[>d all mank9d2 s t my s\l & all its p[]s seem$1 z x 71 to melt into s(tness & sweetness4 ,b dur+ ! communion !re 0 "s abatem5t ( ?is life & f]vor4 ,?is love & joy ca/ out fe>2 & my s\l long$ = p]fect grace & glory4 ,?is frame cont9u$ till ! ev5+1 :5 my s\l 0 sweetly spiritual 9 secret duties4 ,oct4 #bj4 8,i aga9 f\nd ! assi/ance ( ! ,holy ,_s 9 secret duties1 bo? morn+ & ev5+1 & life & com=t 9 religion ?r\gh ! :ole day4 ,oct4 #ba4 8,i _h likewise exp]i5ce ( ! goodness ( ,god 9 #8%$d+ abroad 8 love 9 my he>t1' & giv+ me delight & consolation 9 religi\s duties2 & all ! rema9+ "p ( ! week my s\l seem$ to be tak5 up ) div9e ?+s4 ,i n[ s long$ aft] ,god1 & to be fre$ f s91 t1 :5 ,i felt myself recov]+1 & ?\ght ,i mu/ return to college aga91 :i* _h prov$ s hurtful to my spiritual int]e/s ! ye> pa/1 ,i c\ld n b be griev$1 & ?\ght ,i _h mu* r die2 = x di/ress$ me to ?9k ( gett+ away f ,god4 ,b be=e ,i w5t ,i enjoy$ sev]al o!r sweet & preci\s seasons ( communion ) ,god1 7p>ticul>ly ,oct4 #cj1 & ,nov4 #d17 :]e9 my s\l enjoy$ unspeakable com=t4 8,i return$ to college ab\t ,nov4 #f1 &1 ?r\gh ! goodness ( ,god1 felt ! p[] ( religion almo/ daily1 = ! space ( six weeks4 ,nov4 #bh4 8,9 my ev5+ devotion ,i enjoy$ preci\s discov]ies ( ,god1 & 0 unspeakably refre%$ ) t passage1 ,heb4 #ab3bb-bd4 ,my s\l long$ to w+ away to ! p>adise ( ,god2 ,i long$ to be con=m$ to ,god 9 all ?+s4--,a day or two aft] ,i enjoy$ mu* ( ! light ( ,god's c\nt5ance1 mo/ ( ! day2 & my s\l re/$ 9 ,god4 ,dec4 #i4 8,i 0 9 a com=table frame ( s\l mo/ ( ! day2 b especially 9 ev5+ devotions1 :5 ,god 0 pleas$ wond]fully to assi/ & /r5g!n me2 s t ,i ?\ght no?+ %\ld ev] move me f ! love ( ,god 9 ,*ri/ ,jesus my ,"l4 ,oh6 "o h\r ) ,god inf9itely exce$s all ! pleasures & delights ( ?is l[] _w4 8,t[>d ! latt] "p ( ,janu>y1 #agda1 ,i grew m cold & dull 9 religion1 by means ( my old temptation1 ambition 9 my /udies4 ,b ?r\gh div9e goodness1 a great & g5]al awak5+ spread itself ov] ! college1 ab\t ! end ( ,febru>y1 9 :i* ,i 0 mu* quick5$1 & m abundantly engag$ 9 religion40 ,?is awak5+ 0 at ! beg9n+ ( t extraord9>y religi\s commotion :i* !n prevail$ ?r\gh ! l&1 & 9 :i* ! college %>$ l>gely4 ,= ?irte5 mon?s f ?is "t ,,bra9]d kept a con/ant di>y conta9+ a v p>ticul> acc\nt ( :at pass$ f day to day1 mak+ two volumes ( manuscripts2 b :5 he lay on 8 dea? b$ he gave ord]s 7unkn[n to me till aft] 8 dea?7 t ^! two volumes %\ld be de/roy$1 ins]t+ a notice1 at ! beg9n+ ( ! succe$+ manuscripts1 t a specim5 ( 8 mann] ( liv+ dur+ t entire p]iod w\ld be f\nd 9 ! fir/ ?irty pages next foll[+1 7end+ ) ,june #ae1 #agdb17 except t he 0 n[ m 8ref9$ f "s imprud5ces & indec5t heats0 ?an be=e4 ,a circum/ance 9 ! life ( ,,bra9]d1 :i* gave great (f5ce to ! rul]s ( ! ,college1 & occasion$ 8 expulsion1 x is necess>y %\ld be "h p>ticul>ly relat$4 ,dur+ ! awak5+ 9 ,college1 !re 7 sev]al religi\s /ud5ts :o associat$ toge!r = mutual conv]sation & assi/ance 9 spiritual ?+s4 ,^! 7 wont freely to op5 !mselves "o to ano!r1 z special & intimate fri5ds3 ,,bra9]d 0 "o ( ?is company4 ,& x once happ5$1 t he & two or ?ree m ( ^! intimate fri5ds 7 9 ! hall toge!r aft] ,mr4 ,:ittlesey1 "o ( ! tutors1 _h engag$ 9 pray] ) ! s*ol>s2 no o!r p]son n[ rema9+ 9 ! hall b ,bra9]d & 8 companions4 ,mr4 ,:ittlesey hav+ be5 unusually pa!tic 9 8 pray]1 "o ( ,bra9]d's fri5ds on ?is occasion ask$ him :at he ?\ght ( ,mr4 ,:ittlesey2 he made answ]1 8,he has no m grace ?an ?is *air40 ,"o ( ! fre%m5 happ5+ at t "t to be ne> ! hall1 7?\gh n 9 ! room17 ov]-he>d ^! words2 & ?\gh he he>d no "n m5tion$1 & knew n :o 0 ?us c5sur$1 in=m$ a c]ta9 woman 9 ! t[n1 )al tell+ h] 8 own suspicion1 t ,bra9]d said ?is ( "s "o ( ! rul]s ( ! ,college4 ,:]eupon %e in=m$ ! ,rector1 :o s5t = ?is fre%man & exam9$ him4 ,he told ! ,rector ! words :i* he he>d ,bra9]d utt]2 & in=m$ him :o 7 9 ! room ) him at t "t4 ,^u ?is ! ,rector s5t = !m4 ,!y 7 v backw>d to in=m aga9/ _! fri5d respect+ :at !y look$ ^u z private conv]sation2 especially z none b !y _h he>d or knew ( :om he _h utt]$ ^? words3 yet ! ,rector compell$ !m to decl>e :at he said1 & ( :om he said x4 ,bra9]d look$ on himself z v ill us$ 9 ! managem5t ( ?is affair2 & ?\ght t x 0 injuri\sly extort$ f 8 fri5ds1 & !n injuri\sly requir$ ( him--z if he _h be5 guilty ( "s op51 notori\s crime--to make a public confession1 & to humble himself be=e ! :ole ,college 9 ! hall1 = :at he _h said only 9 private conv]sation4 ,he n comply+ ) ?is dem&1 & hav+ gone once to ! ,sep>ate meet+ at ,new-,hav51 :5 =bidd5 by ! ,rector2 & also hav+ be5 accus$ by "o p]son ( say+ conc]n+ ! ,rector1 8t he wond]$ he did n expect to drop d[n dead = f9+ ! s*ol>s :o foll[$ ,mr4 ,t5n5t to ,mil=d1 ?\gh !re 0 no pro( ( x2 7& ,bra9]d ev] pr(ess$ t he did n rememb] say+ any ?+ to t purpose17 = ^! ?+s he 0 expell$ ! college4 ,h[ f> ! circum/ances & exig5cies ( t day might ju/ify su* great sev]ity 9 ! gov]nors ( ! college1 ,i w n und]take to det]m9e2 x be+ my aim1 n to br+ reproa* on ! au?ority ( ! college1 b only to d ju/ice to ! memory ( a p]son :o 01 ,i ?9k1 em95tly "o ( ^? ^: memory is bless$4--,! read] w see1 9 ! sequel1 7p>ticul>ly "u date ( ,septemb] #ad1 #ae1 #agdc17 9 h[ *ri/ian a mann] ,bra9]d conduct$ himself ) respect to ?is affair2 ?\gh he ev]1 z long z he liv$1 suppos$ himself ill us$ 9 ! managem5t ( x1 & 9 :at he suff]$4--,8 expulsion 0 9 ! w9t]1 #agdb1 :ile 9 8 ?ird ye> at college4 ,,*apt] ,,ii4 ,f ab\t ! "t :5 he began ! /udy ( ,!ology1 till he 0 lic5s$ to prea*4 ,april #a1 #agdb-;,july #bi1 #agdb4 ,9 ! spr+ ( #agdb ,bra9]d w5t to live ) ! ,rev4 ,mr4 ,mills ( ,ripton1 to pursue 8 /udies ) him = ! "w ( ! m9i/ry4 ,"h he sp5t ! great] "p ( ! "t until he 0 lic5s$ to prea*2 b frequ5tly rode to visit ! neighbor+ m9i/]s1 p>ticul>ly ,mr4 ,cooke ( ,/rat=d4 ,mr4 ,graham ( ,s\?bury1 & ,mr4 ,bellamy ( ,be?lehem4 ,! foll[+ are extracts f 8 di>y at ?is p]iod4 ,april #a1 #agdb4--8;,i seem to be decl9+1 ) respect to my life & w>m? 9 div9e ?+s2 h n _h s free access to ,god 9 pray] to-day z usual ( late4 ,oh t ,god w\ld humble me deeply 9 ! du/ be=e him6 ,i des]ve hell e day1 = n lov+ my ,"l m1 :o has1 ,i tru/1 8lov$ me & giv5 himself = me & e "t ,i am enabl$ to ex]cise any grace r5ew$ly1 ,i am r5ew$ly indebt$ to ! ,god ( all grace = special assi/ance4 8,:]e !n is boa/+80 ,surely 8x is exclud$10 :5 we ?9k h[ we are dep5d5t on ,god = ! exi/5ce & e act ( grace4 ,o if ev] ,i get to heav51 x w be because ,god pleases1 & no?+ else2 = ,i nev] did any ?+ ( myself b get away f ,god6 ,my s\l w be a/oni%$ at ! unse>*able ri*es ( div9e grace :5 ,i arrive at ! mansions :i* ! bless$ ,savior is gone be=e to prep>e4 ,april #b4--8;,9 ! aft]noon ,i felt1 9 secret pray]1 mu* resign$1 calm & s]5e4 ,:at are all ! /orms ( ?is l[] _w if ,jesus1 by 8 ,_s1 does b come walk+ on ! seas6--,sometime pa/ ,i _h mu* pleasure 9 ! prospect ( ! ,hea!n be+ br\ght home to ,*ri/1 & desir$ t ! ,"l w\ld employ me 9 t "w2 b n[ my s\l m frequ5tly desires to die1 to be ) ,*ri/4 ,oh t my s\l 7 wrapt up 9 div9e love1 & my long+ desires aft] ,god increas$6 ,9 ! ev5+ 0 refre%$ 9 pray]1 ) ! hopes ( ! advancem5t ( ,*ri/'s k+dom 9 ! _w4 ,"l's day1 ,april #d4--8,my he>t 0 w&]+ & lifeless4 ,9 ! ev5+ ,god gave me fai? 9 pray]1 made my s\l melt 9 "s measure1 & gave me to ta/e a div9e sweetness4 ,o my bless$ ,god6 ,let me climb up ne> to him1 & love1 & long1 & plead1 & wre/le1 & /ret* aft] him1 & = deliv]ance f ! body ( s9 & dea?4 ,alas6 my s\l m\rn$ to ?9k ,i %\ld ev] lose sight ( its belov$ aga94 8,o come1 ,"l ,jesus1 ,am540 ,april #f4--8;,i walk$ out ?is morn+2 _h an affect+ s5se ( my own vil5ess2 & cri$ to ,god to cleanse me1 to give me rep5tance & p>don4 ,i !n began to f9d x sweet to pray2 & c\ld ?9k ( und]go+ ! greate/ suff]+s 9 ! cause ( ,*ri/1 ) pleasure2 & f\nd myself will+1 if ,god %\ld s ord] x1 to suff] bani%m5t f my native l&1 among ! hea!n1 t ,i might d some?+ = _! salvation1 9 di/resses & dea?s ( any k9d4 ,!n ,god gave me to wre/le e>ne/ly = o!rs1 = ! k+dom ( ,*ri/ 9 ! _w1 & = de> ,*ri/ian fri5ds4 ,april #h4--8;,_h rais$ hopes to-day respect+ ! hea!n4 ,oh t ,god w\ld br+ 9 great numb]s ( !m to ,jesus ,*ri/6 ,i _c b hope t ,i %all see t glori\s day4 ,e ?+ 9 ?is _w seems exce$+ vile & little to me3 ,i appe> s to myself4 ,i _h "s little dawn ( com=t to-day 9 pray]2 b especially to-night1 ,i ?9k ,i _h "s fai? & p[] ( int]cession ) ,god4 ,i 0 enabl$ to plead ) ,god = ! gr[? ( grace 9 myself2 & _m ( ! de> *ildr5 ( ,god !n lay ) weight ^u my s\l4 ,bless$ be ! ,"l6 ,x is good to wre/le = div9e bless+s4 ,april #i4--8,mo/ ( my "t 9 morn+ devotion 0 sp5t )\t s5sible sweetness2 yet ,i _h "o delightful prospect ( arriv+ at ! heav5ly _w4 ,i am m amaz$ ?an ev] at su* ?\ghts2 = ,i see myself inf9itely vile & unwor?y4 ,no poor creature /&s 9 ne$ ( div9e grace m ?an ,i1 & none abuse x m ?an ,i h done1 & /ill d4 ,"l's day1 ,april #aa4--8;,9 ! morn+ ,i felt b little life2 yet my he>t 0 some:at drawn out 9 ?ankfulness to ,god = 8 amaz+ grace & condesc5sion to me1 9 pa/ influ5ces & assi/ances ( 8 ,_s4 ,aft]w>d1 ,i _h "s sweetness 9 ! ?\ghts ( arriv+ at ! heav5ly _w4 ,o = ! happy day6 ,aft] public wor%ip1 ,god gave me special assi/ance 9 pray]2 ,i wre/l$ ) my de> ,"l1 & int]cession 0 made a delightful employm5t to me4 ,9 ! ev5+1 z ,i 0 view+ ! light 9 ! nor?1 ,i 0 delight$ 9 ! contemplation ( ! glori\s morn+ ( ! resurrection4 ,april #ab4--8,?is morn+ ! ,"l 0 pleas$ to lift up ! light ( 8 c\nt5ance ^u me 9 secret pray]1 & made ! season v preci\s to my s\l4 ,?\gh ,i h be5 s depress$ ( late1 respect+ my hopes ( future s]viceabl5ess 9 ! cause ( ,god2 yet n[ ,i _h mu* enc\ragem5t4 ,i 0 especially assi/$ to int]c$e & plead = poor s\ls1 & = ! enl>gem5t ( ,*ri/'s k+dom 9 ! _w1 & = special grace = myself1 to fit me = special s]vices4 ,my fai? lift$ me above ! _w1 & remov$ all ^? m\nta9s ov] :i* ( late ,i c\ld n look4 ,i want$ n ! favor ( man to lean ^u2 = ,i knew t ,*ri/'s favor 0 inf9itely bett]1 & t x 0 no matt] :5 nor :]e1 nor h[ ,*ri/ %\ld s5d me1 nor :at trials he %\ld /ill ex]cise me )1 if ,i might be prep>$ = 8 "w & w4 ,april #ad4--8,my s\l long$ = communion ) ,*ri/1 & = ! mortification ( indwell+ corruption1 especially spiritual pride4 ,o1 !re is a sweet day com+1 :]e9 8! we>y w be at re/60 ,my s\l has enjoy$ mu* sweetness ?is day1 9 ! hope ( its spe$y arrival4 ,april #ae4--8,my desires app>5tly c5t]$ 9 ,god & ,i f\nd a s5sible attraction ( s\l aft] him sundry times to-day4 ,i "k t ,i long = ,god1 & a con=mity to 8 w1 9 inw>d purity & hol9ess1 t5 ?\s& times m ?an = any ?+ "h bel[4 ,"l's day1 ,april #ah4--8;,i retir$ e>ly ?is morn+ into ! woods = pray]2 _h ! assi/ance ( ,god's ,_s1 & fai? 9 ex]cise2 & 0 enabl$ to plead ) f]v5cy = ! advancem5t ( ,*ri/'s k+dom 9 ! _w1 & to int]c$e = de>1 abs5t fri5ds4 ,at noon1 ,god enabl$ me to wre/le ) him1 & to feel1 z ,i tru/1 ! p[] ( div9e love 9 pray]4 ,at night1 ,i saw myself inf9itely indebt$ to ,god1 & _h a view ( my failures 9 duty4 ,x seem$ to me t ,i _h done1 z x 71 no?+ = ,god1 & t ,i _h liv$ to him b a few h\rs ( my life4 ,april #ai4--8;,i set ap>t ?is day = fa/+ & pray] to ,god = 8 grace2 especially to prep>e me = ! "w ( ! m9i/ry2 to give me div9e aid & direction1 9 my prep>ations = t great "w2 & 9 8 own "t to s5d me into 8 h>ve/4 ,accord+ly1 9 ! morn+ ,i endeavor$ to plead = ! div9e pres5ce = ! day1 & n )\t "s life4 ,9 ! =5oon ,i felt ! p[] ( int]cession = preci\s1 immortal s\ls2 = ! advancem5t ( ! k+dom ( my de> ,"l & ,savior 9 ! _w2 & )al1 a mo/ sweet resignation & ev5 consolation & joy1 9 ! ?\ghts ( suff]+ h>d%ips1 di/resses1 & ev5 dea? itself1 9 ! promotion ( x1 & _h special enl>gem5t 9 plead+ = ! enlight5+ & conv]sion ( ! poor hea!n4 ,9 ! aft]noon ,god 0 ) me ( a tru?4 ,o1 x 0 bless$ company inde$6 ,god enabl$ me s to agonize 9 pray]1 t ,i 0 q wet ) sweat1 ?\gh 9 ! %ade & ! cool w9d4 ,my s\l 0 drawn out v mu* = ! _w2 ,i grasp$ = multitudes ( s\ls4 ,i ?9k ,i _h m enl>gem5t = s9n]s ?an = ! *ildr5 ( ,god2 ?\gh ,i felt z if ,i c\ld sp5d my life 9 cries = bo?4 ,i _h great enjoym5t 9 communion ) my de> ,savior4 ,i ?9k ,i nev] 9 my life felt su* an entire wean$ness f ?is _w1 & s mu* resign$ to ,god 9 e ?+4 ,o t ,i may always live to & ^u my bless$ ,god6 ,am51 ,am54 ,april #bj4--8,?is day ,i am tw5ty-f\r ye>s ( age4 ,o h[ mu* m]cy h ,i receiv$ ! ye> pa/6 ,h[ (t5 has ,god 8caus$ 8 goodness to pass be=e me60 ,& h[ poorly h ,i answ]$ ! v[s ,i made "o ye> s9ce1 to be :olly ! ,"l's1 to be = ev] devot$ to 8 s]vice6 ,! ,"l help me to live m to 8 glory = ! "t to come4 ,?is has be5 a sweet1 a happy day to me2 bless$ be ,god4 ,i ?9k my s\l 0 nev] s drawn out 9 int]cession = o!rs1 z x has be5 ?is night4 ,_h a mo/ f]v5t wre/le ) ! ,"l to-night1 = my enemies2 & ,i h>dly ev] s long$ to live to ,god1 & to be altoge!r devot$ to him2 ,i want$ to we> out my life 9 8 s]vice1 & = 8 glory4 ,april #ba4 8,felt mu* calmness & resignation2 & ,god aga9 enabl$ me to wre/le = numb]s ( s\ls1 & gave me f]v5cy 9 ! sweet duty ( int]cession4 ,i enjoy ( late m sweetness 9 int]cession = o!rs1 ?an 9 any o!r "p ( pray]4 ,my bless$ ,"l really let me come ne> to him1 & plead ) him4 ,"l's day1 ,april #be4 8,?is morn+ ,i sp5t ab\t two h\rs 9 secret duties1 & 0 enabl$1 m ?an ord9>ily1 to agonize = immortal s\ls4 ,at night ,i 0 exce$+ly melt$ ) div9e love1 & _h "s feel+ s5se ( ! bless$ness ( ! upp] _w4 ,^? words hung ^u me ) mu* div9e sweetness4 ,psa4 #hd3g4 8,!y g f /r5g? to /r5g?1 e "o ( !m 9 ,zion appe>e? be=e ,god40 ,o ! ne> access t ,god sometimes gives u 9 our addresses to him6 ,?is may well be t]m$ 8appe>+ be=e ,god30 x is s inde$1 9 ! true spiritual s5se1 & 9 ! sweete/ s5se4 ,i ?9k t ,i h n _h su* p[] ( int]cession ^! _m mon?s1 bo? = ,god's *ildr51 & = dead s9n]s1 z ,i h _h ?is ev5+4 ,i wi%$ & long$ = ! com+ ( my de> ,"l3 ,i long$ to jo9 ! angelic ho/s 9 praises1 :olly free f imp]fection4 ,o1 ! bless$ mom5t ha/5s6 ,all ,i want is to be m holy1 m l my de> ,"l4 ,oh = sanctification6 ,my v s\l pants = ! complete re/oration ( ! bless$ image ( my ,savior2 t ,i may be fit = ! bless$ enjoym5ts & employm5ts ( ! heav5ly _w4 8,f>ewell1 va9 _w2 my s\l c bid ,adieu 8,my ,,savior taught me to ab&on y4 8,y\r *>ms may gratify a ,,s5sual m9d2 8,b _c please a s\l = ,,god design'd4 8,=be> t' entice2 cease !n my s\l to call2 8',tis fix$ ?r\gh grace2 my ,god %all be my ,,all4 8,:ile he ?us lets me heav5ly glories view1 8,y\r beauties fade1 my he>t's no room = y40 8,! ,"l refre%$ my s\l ) _m sweet passages ( 8 ^w4 ,o ! ,new ,j]usalem6 my s\l long$ = x4 ,o ! song ( ,moses & ! ,lamb6 ,& t bless$ song1 t no man c le>n b !y :o are 8r$eem$ f ! e>?60 8,"l1 ,i'm a /rang] "h alone2 8,e>? no true com=ts c af=d2 8,yet1 abs5t f my de>e/ "o1 8,my s\l delights to cry #8,my ,"l6' 8,,jesus1 my ,"l1 my only love1 8,possess my s\l1 nor !nce dep>t3 8,grant me k9d visits1 heav5ly ,dove2 8,my ,god %all !n h all my he>t40 ,april #bg4 8,i arose & retir$ e>ly = secret devotions2 & 9 pray]1 ,god 0 pleas$ to p\r su* ineffable com=ts into my s\l1 t ,i c\ld d no?+ = "s "t b say ov] & ov]1 8,o my sweet ,savior6 :om h ,i 9 ,heav5 b !e8 & !re is none ^u e>? t ,i desire beside !e40 ,if ,i _h a ?\s& lives1 my s\l w\ld gladly h laid !m all d[n at once1 to h be5 ) ,,*ri/4 ,my s\l nev] enjoy$ s mu* ( heav5 be=e2 x 0 ! mo/ ref9$ & mo/ spiritual season ( communion ) ,god ,i ev] yet felt4 ,april #bh4--8;,i )drew to my usual place ( retirem5t1 9 great peace & tranquility1 sp5t ab\t two h\rs 9 secret duties1 & felt mu* z ,i did ye/]day morn+1 only weak]1 & m ov]come4 ,i seem$ to dep5d :olly on my de> ,"l2 wean$ f all o!r dep5d5cies4 ,i knew n :at to say to my ,god1 b only lean on 8 bosom1 z x 71 & brea! out my desires aft] a p]fect con=mity to him 9 all ?+s4 ,?ir/+ desires aft] p]fect hol9ess1 & insatiable long+s possess$ my s\l4 ,god 0 s preci\s to me t ! _w1 ) all its enjoym5ts1 0 inf9itely vile4 ,i _h no m value = ! favor ( m51 ?an = pebbles4 ,! ,,"l 0 my ,,all1 & t he ov]-rul$ all1 greatly delight$ me4 ,i ?9k t my fai? & dep5d5ce on ,god sc>ce ev] rose s high4 ,i saw him su* a f\nta9 ( goodness t x seem$ impossible ,i %\ld di/ru/ him aga91 or be any way anxi\s ab\t any ?+ t %\ld happ5 to me4 ,i n[ _h great satisfaction 9 pray+ = abs5t fri5ds1 & = ! enl>gem5t ( ,*ri/'s k+dom 9 ! _w4 ,mu* ( ! p[] ( ^! div9e enjoym5ts rema9$ ) me ?r\gh ! day4 ,9 ! ev5+ my he>t seem$ to melt1 & ,i tru/ 0 really humbl$ = indwell+ corruption1 & ,i 8m\rn$ l a dove40 ,i felt t all my unhapp9ess arose f my be+ a s9n]4 ,) resignation1 ,i c\ld bid welcome to all o!r trials2 b s9 hung heavy ^u me2 = ,god discov]$ to me ! corruption ( my he>t4 ,i w5t to b$ ) a heavy he>t1 because ,i 0 a s9n]2 ?\gh ,i did n 9 ! lea/ d\bt ( ,god's love4 ,o t ,god w\ld 8purge away my dross1 & take away my t910 & make me t5 times ref9$6 ,may #a4--8;,i 0 enabl$ to cry to ,god ) f]v5cy = m9i/]ial qualifications1 t he w\ld appe> = ! advancem5t ( 8 own k+dom1 & t he w\ld br+ 9 ! ,hea!n4 ,_h mu* assi/ance 9 my /udies4 ,?is has be5 a pr(itable week to me2 ,i h enjoy$ _m communications ( ! bless$ ,_s 9 my s\l4 ,may #c4--8;,_h a s5se ( vile +ratitude4 ,9 ! morn+ ,i )drew to my usual place ( retirem5t1 & m\rn$ = my abuse ( my de> ,"l2 sp5t ! day 9 fa/+ & pray]4 ,god gave me mu* p[] ( wre/l+ = 8 cause & k+dom2 & x 0 a happy day to my s\l4 ,god 0 ) me all ! day2 & ,i 0 m above ! _w ?an ev] 9 my life4 ,may #ac4--7;,at ,we!rsfield47 8,saw s mu* ( ! wick$ness ( my he>t t ,i long$ to get away f myself4 ,i nev] be=e ?\ght t !re 0 s mu* spiritual pride 9 my s\l4 ,i felt almo/ press$ to dea? ) my own vil5ess4 ,o :at a 8body ( dea?0 is !re 9 me6 ,"l deliv] my s\l6 ,i c\ld n f9d any conv5i5t place = retirem5t1 & 0 greatly ex]cis$4 ,rode to ,h>t=d 9 ! aft]noon2 _h "s refre%m5t & com=t 9 religi\s ex]cises ) *ri/ian fri5ds2 b long$ = m retirem5t4 ,o1 ! close/ walk ) ,god is ! sweete/ heav5 t c be enjoy$ on e>?6 ,june #ad4--8;,felt some:at ( ! sweetness ( communion ) ,god1 & ! con/ra9+ =ce ( 8 love2 h[ admirably x captivates ! s\l1 & makes all ! desires & affections c5tre 9 ,god6--,i set ap>t ?is day = secret fa/+ & pray]1 to entreat ,god to direct & bless me ) reg>d to ! great "w :i* ,i h 9 view1 ( prea*+ ! gospel--& t ! ,"l w\ld return to me1 & individually 8%[ me ! light ( 8 c\nt5ance40 ,_h little life & p[] 9 ! =5oon3 ne> ! middle ( ! aft]noon ,god enabl$ me to wre/le ard5tly 9 int]cession = abs5t fri5ds3 b j at night ! ,"l visit$ me m>vell\sly 9 pray]4 ,i ?9k my s\l nev] 0 9 su* an agony be=e4 ,i felt no re/ra9t1 = ! treasures ( div9e grace 7 op5$ to me4 ,i wre/l$ = abs5t fri5ds1 = ! +a!r+ ( s\ls1 = multitudes ( poor s\ls1 & = _m t ,i ?\ght 7 ! *ildr5 ( ,god1 9 _m di/ant places4 ,i 0 9 su* an agony1 f half an h\r be=e sunset1 till ne> d>k1 t ,i 0 all ov] wet ) sweat3 b yet x seem$ to me t ,i _h wa/$ away ! day1 & _h done no?+4 ,o1 my de> ,savior did sweat blood = poor s\ls6 ,i long$ = m compassion t[>d !m4 ,felt /ill 9 a sweet frame1 "u a s5se ( div9e love & grace2 & w5t to b$ 9 su* a frame1 ) my he>t set on ,god4 ,june #ae4--8;,_h ! mo/ ard5t long+s aft] ,god4 ,at noon1 9 my secret retirem5t1 ,i c\ld d no?+ b tell my de> ,"l1 9 a sweet calm1 t he knew ,i desir$ no?+ b himself1 no?+ b hol9ess2 t he _h giv5 me ^! desires1 & he only c\ld give me ! ?+ desir$4 ,i nev] seem$ to be s unh+$ f myself1 & to be s :olly devot$ to ,god4 ,my he>t 0 swall[$ up 9 ,god mo/ ( ! day4 ,9 ! ev5+ ,i _h su* a view ( ! s\l be+1 z x 71 enl>g$1 to conta9 m hol9ess1 t x seem$ ready to sep>ate f my body4 ,i !n wre/l$ 9 an agony = div9e bless+s2 _h my he>t drawn out 9 pray] = "s *ri/ian fri5ds1 beyond :at ,i ev] _h be=e4 ,i feel diff]5tly n[ f :at ,i ev] did "u any enjoym5ts be=e2 m engag$ to live to ,god = ev]1 & less pleas$ ) my own frames4 ,i am n satisfi$ ) my frames1 nor feel at all m easy aft] su* /ruggl+s ?an be=e2 = x seems f> too little1 if ,i c\ld always be s4 ,o h[ %ort d ,i fall ( my duty 9 my sweete/ mom5ts6 ,june #ah4--8;,consid]+ my great unfitness = ! "w ( ! m9i/ry1 my pres5t deadness1 & total inability to d any ?+ = ! glory ( ,god t way1 feel+ myself v helpless1 & at a great loss :at ! ,"l w\ld h me to d2 ,i set ap>t ?is day = pray] to ,god1 & sp5t mo/ ( ! day 9 t duty1 b 0 amaz+ly des]t$ mo/ ( ! day4 ,yet ,i f\nd ,god graci\sly ne>1 once 9 p>ticul>2 :ile ,i 0 plead+ = m compassion = immortal s\ls1 my he>t seem$ to be op5$ at once1 & ,i 0 enabl$ to cry ) great ard5cy = a few m9utes4 ,o1 ,i 0 di/ress$ to ?9k1 t ,i %\ld (f] su* dead cold s]vices to ! liv+ ,god6 ,my s\l seem$ to brea! aft] hol9ess1 a life ( con/ant devot$ness to ,god4 ,b ,i am almo/ lo/ sometimes 9 ! pursuit ( ?is bless$ness1 & ready to s9k1 because ,i cont9ually fall %ort1 & miss ( my desire4 ,o t ! ,"l w\ld help me to hold out1 yet a little :ile1 until ! happy h\r ( deliv]ance comes6 ,june #cj4--8,sp5t ?is day alone 9 ! woods1 9 fa/+ & pray]2 und]w5t ! mo/ dreadful conflicts 9 my s\l4 ,i saw myself s vile t ,i 0 ready to say1 8,i %all n[ p]i% by ! h& ( ,saul40 ,i ?\ght t ,i _h no p[] to /& = ! cause ( ,god1 b 0 almo/ afraid ( ! %ak+ ( a leaf4 ,sp5t almo/ ! :ole day 9 pray]1 incessantly4 ,i c\ld n be> to ?9k ( ,*ri/ians %[+ me any respect4 ,i almo/ despair$ ( do+ any s]vice 9 ! _w3 ,i c\ld n feel any hope or com=t respect+ ! hea!n1 :i* us$ to af=d me "s refre%m5t 9 ! d>ke/ h\rs ( ?is nature4 ,i sp5t ! day 9 bitt]ness ( s\l4 ,ne> night ,i felt a little bett]2 & aft]w>d enjoy$ "s sweetness 9 secret pray]4 ,july #a4--8;,_h "s enjoym5t 9 pray] ?is morn+2 & f> m ?an usual 9 secret pray] to-night1 & desir$ no?+ s ard5tly z t ,god %\ld d ) me j z he pleas$4 ,july #b4--8;,felt compos$ 9 secret pray] 9 ! morn+4 ,my desires asc5d$ to ,god ?is day1 z ,i 0 travel+3 0 com=table 9 ! ev5+4 ,bless$ be ,god = all my consolations4 ,july #c4--8,my he>t seem$ aga9 to s9k4 ,! disgrace ,i 0 laid "u at college seem$ to damp my spirits2 z x op5s ! m\?s ( oppos]s4 ,i _h no refuge b 9 ,god4 ,bless$ be 8 "n1 t ,i may g to him at all times1 & f9d him a help4' ,"l's day1 ,july #d4--8;,_h consid]able assi/ance4 ,9 ! ev5+ ,i )drew1 & enjoy$ a happy season 9 secret pray]4 ,god 0 pleas$ to give me ! ex]cise ( fai?1 & !reby br\ght ! invisible & et]nal _w ne> to my s\l2 :i* appe>$ sweetly to me4 ,i hop$ t my we>y pilgrimage 9 ! _w w\ld be %ort2 & t x w\ld n be long be=e ,i %\ld be br\ght to my heav5ly home & ,fa!r's h\se4 ,i 0 resign$ to ,god's w1 to t>ry 8 "t1 to d 8 "w1 & suff] 8 pleasure4 ,i felt ?ankfulness to ,god = all my press+ des]tions ( late2 = ,i am p]suad$ t !y h be5 made a means ( mak+ me m humble1 & mu* m resign$4 ,i felt pleas$ to be little1 to be no?+1 & to lie 9 ! du/4 ,i enjoy$ life & consolation 9 plead+ = ! de> *ildr5 ( ,god1 & ! k+dom ( ,*ri/ 9 ! _w3 & my s\l e>ne/ly brea!d aft] hol9ess1 & ! enjoym5t ( ,god4 8,o come1 ,"l ,jesus1 come quickly40 ,july #bi4--8;,i 0 exam9$ by ! ,association met at ,danbury1 z to my le>n+1 & also my exp]i5ce 9 religion1 & receiv$ a lic5ce f !m to prea* ! ,gospel ( ,*ri/4 ,aft]w>d felt mu* devot$ to ,god2 jo9$ 9 pray] ) "o ( ! m9i/]s1 my peculi> fri5d1 9 a conv5i5t place2 & w5t to b$ resolv+ to live devot$ to ,god all my days40 ,,*apt] ,,iii4 ,f 8 be+ lic5s$ to prea*1 till he 0 commission$ z a ,mission>y4 ,july #cj4-,nov4 #be1 #agdb4 ,july #cj1 #agdb4--8,rode f ,danbury to ,s\?bury2 prea*$ !re1 f #a ,pet4 #d3h4 ,_h mu* ( ! com=table pres5ce ( ,god 9 ! ex]cise4 ,i seem$ to h p[] ) ,god 9 pray]1 & p[] to get hold ( ! he>ts ( ! p 9 prea*+4 ,aug4 #ab4 7,ne> ,k5t47--8,?is morn+ & la/ night ,i 0 ex]cis$ ) sore inw>d trials3 ,i _h no p[] to pray2 b seem$ %ut out f ,god4 ,i _h 9 a great measure lo/ my hopes ( ,god's s5d+ me among ! ,hea!n af> (f1 & ( see+ !m flock home to ,*ri/4 ,i saw s mu* ( my vil5ess1 t ,i wond]$ t ,god w\ld let me live1 & t p did n /one me2 mu* m t !y w\ld ev] he> me prea*6 ,x seem$ z ?\gh ,i nev] c\ld prea* any m2 yet ab\t n9e or t5 o'clock ! p came ov]1 & ,i 0 =c$ to prea*2 & bless$ be ,god1 he gave me 8 pres5ce & ,_s 9 pray] & prea*+2 s t ,i 0 mu* assi/$1 & spake ) p[]1 f ,job1 #ad3ad4 ,"s ,indians resid+ "h1 cri$ out 9 great di/ress1 & all appe>$ greatly conc]n$4 ,aft] we _h pray$ & exhort$ !m to seek ! ,"l ) con/ancy1 & hir$ an ,engli%woman to keep a k9d ( s*ool among !m1 we came away40 ,"l's day1 ,aug4 #ae4--8;,felt mu* com=t & devot$ness to ,god ?is day4 ,at night1 x 0 refre%+ to get alone ) ,god1 & p\r out my s\l4 ,o1 :o c conceive ( ! sweetness ( communion ) ! bless$ ,god1 b ^? :o h exp]i5ce ( x6 ,glory to ,god = ev]1 t ,i may ta/e heav5 bel[4 ,aug4 #ag4--8;,exce$+ly depress$ 9 _s1 x cuts & w\nds my he>t to ?9k h[ mu* self-exaltation1 spiritual pride1 & w>m? ( temp]1 ,i h =m]ly _h int]m+l$ ) my endeavors to promote ,god's "w3 & sometimes ,i long to lie d[n at ! feet ( oppos]s1 & confess :at a poor imp]fect creature ,i h be51 & /ill am4 ,! ,"l =give me1 & make me1 = ! future1 8wise z a s]p5t1 & h>mless z a dove60 ,aft]w>d enjoy$ consid]able com=t & delight ( s\l4 ,aug4 #ai4--8,?is day1 be+ ab\t to g f ,mr4 ,bellamy's1 at ,be?lehem1 :]e ,i _h resid$ "s "t1 ,i pray$ ) him & two or ?ree o!r ,*ri/ian fri5ds4 ,we gave ourselves to ,god ) all our he>ts1 to be 8 = ev]3 et]nity look$ v ne> to me :ile ,i 0 pray+4 ,if ,i nev] %\ld see ^! ,*ri/ians aga9 9 ?is _w1 x seem$ b a few mom5ts be=e ,i %\ld meet !m 9 ano!r _w4 ,aug4 #bc4--8;,_h a sweet season 9 secret pray]3 ! ,"l drew ne> to my s\l1 & fill$ me ) peace & div9e consolation4 ,o1 my s\l ta/$ ! sweetness ( heav52 & 0 drawn out 9 pray] = ! _w1 t x might come home to ,*ri/6 ,_h mu* com=t 9 ! ?\ghts & hopes ( ! +a!r+ ( ! ,hea!n2 0 greatly assi/$ 9 int]cession = ,*ri/ian fri5ds40 ,sept4 #a4--8,w5t to ,judea to ! ord9ation ( ,mr4 ,judd4 ,mr4 ,bellamy prea*$ f ,matt4 #bd3df4 #8,bless$ is t s]vant :om 8 ,"l1 :5 he come?1 %all f9d s do+4' ,i felt v solemn2 _h my ?\ghts mu* on t "t :5 our ,"l w come1 :i* refre%$ my s\l mu*2 only ,i 0 afraid ,i %\ld n be f\nd fai?ful1 because ,i h s vile a he>t4 ,my ?\ghts 7 mu* 9 et]nity1 :]e ,i love to dwell4 ,bless$ be ,god = ?is solemn season4 ,rode home to-night ) ,mr4 ,bellamy1 conv]s$ ) "s fri5ds till x 0 v late1 & !n retir$ to re/ 9 a com=table frame4 ,sept4 #d4--8,mu* out ( heal?1 exce$+ly depress$ 9 my s\l1 & at awful di/ance f ,god4 ,t[>d night1 sp5t "s "t 9 pr(itable ?\ghts on ,rom4 #h3b4 ,ne> night1 _h a v sweet season 9 pray]2 ,god enabl$ me to wre/le ard5tly = ! advancem5t ( ! ,r$eem]'s k+dom2 plead$ e>ne/ly = my own de> bro!r ,john1 7:o at l5g? became 8 successor z a ,mission>y to ! ,indians17 t ,god w\ld make him m ( a pilgrim & /rang] on ! e>?1 & fit him = s+ul> s]viceabl5ess 9 ! _w2 & my he>t sweetly exult$ 9 ! ,"l1 9 ! ?\ghts ( any di/resses t might alight on him or on me1 9 ! advancem5t ( ,*ri/'s k+dom4 ,x 0 a sweet & com=table h\r unto my s\l1 :ile ,i 0 indulg$ ) fre$om to plead1 n only = myself1 b also = _m o!r s\ls4 ,sept4 #af4--8;,at night1 enjoy$ mu* ( ,god1 9 secret pray]3 felt an uncommon resignation to be & d :at ,god pleas$4 ,"s days pa/ ,i felt great p]plexity on acc\nt ( my pa/ conduct3 my bitt]ness1 & want ( ,*ri/ian k9dness & love1 has be5 v di/ress+ to my s\l3 ! ,"l =give me my un*ri/ian w>m?1 & want ( a _s ( meekness6 ,oct4 #ba4--8;,_h a v deep s5se ( ! vanity ( ! _w1 mo/ ( ! day2 _h little m reg>d to x1 ?an if ,i _h be5 to g into et]nity ! next h\r4 ,?r\gh div9e goodness1 ,i felt v s]i\s & solemn4 ,o ,i love to live on ! br9k ( et]nity1 9 my views & m$itations6 ,?is gives me a sweet1 awful & rev]5tial s5se & appreh5sion ( ,god & div9e ?+s1 :5 ,i see myself z x 71 /&+ be=e ! judgm5t seat ( ,*ri/4 ,oct4 #bb4--8,uncommonly wean$ f ! _w to-day3 my s\l delight$ to be a 8/rang] & pilgrim on ! e>?20 ,i felt a disposition 9 me nev] to h any ?+ to d ) ?is _w4 ,! "* giv5 ( "s ( ! anci5t p ( ,god1 9 ,heb4 #aa3ac1 0 v pleas+ to me1 8,!y confess$ t !y 7 pilgrims & /rang]s on ! e>?10 by _! daily practice2 & ,o t ,i c\ld always d s6 ,sp5t "s "t 9 a pleasant grove1 9 pray] & m$itation4 ,o x is sweet to be ?us wean$ f fri5ds1 & f myself1 & dead to ! pres5t _w1 t s ,i may live :olly to & ^u ! bless$ ,god6 ,saw myself little1 l[ & vile z ,i am 9 myself4 ,9 ! aft]noon prea*$ at ,be?lehem1 f ,deut4 #h3b4 ,god help$ me to speak to ! he>ts ( de> ,*ri/ians4 ,bless$ be ! ,"l = ?is season3 ,i tru/ !y & ,i %all rejoice on ?is acc\nt1 to all et]nity4 ,de> ,mr4 ,bellamy came 9 :ile ,i 0 mak+ ! fir/ pray]1 7hav+ return$ home f a j\rney17 & aft] meet+ we walk$ away toge!r1 & sp5t ! ev5+ 9 sweetly conv]s+ on div9e ?+s1 & pray+ toge!r1 ) t5d] love to ea* o!r1 & retir$ to re/ ) our he>ts 9 a s]i\s spiritual frame4 ,oct4 #bf4--8;,at ,we/ ,suffield4 ,0 9 great di/ress1 "u a s5se ( my own unwor?9ess4 ,x seem$ to me t ,i des]v$ r to be driv5 out ( ! place1 ?an to h any body treat me ) k9dness1 or come to he> me prea*4 ,& v]ily my spirits 7 s depress$ at ?is "t 7z at _m o!rs7 t x 0 impossible ,i %\ld treat immortal s\ls ) fai?fulness4 ,i c\ld n deal closely & fai?fully ) !m1 ,i felt s inf9itely vile 9 myself4 ,o :at du/ & a%es ,i am1 to ?9k ( prea*+ ! ,gospel to o!rs6 ,inde$1 ,i nev] c be fai?ful = "o mom5t1 b %all c]ta9ly 8daub ) untemp]$ mort>10 if ,god d n grant me special help4 ,9 ! ev5+ ,i w5t to ! meet+-h\se1 & x look$ to me ne> z easy = "o to rise out ( ! grave & prea*1 z = me4 ,h[ev]1 ,god af=d$ me "s life & p[]1 bo? 9 pray] & s]mon2 & 0 pleas$ to lift me up1 & %[ me t he c\ld enable me to prea*4 ,o ! wond]ful goodness ( ,god to s vile a s9n]6 ,return$ to my lodg+s1 & enjoy$ "s sweetness 9 pray] alone1 & m\rn$ t ,i c\ld n live m to ,god4 ,novemb] #d4--8;,at ,lebanon4 ,saw mu* ( my no?+ness mo/ ( ?is day2 b felt conc]n$ t ,i _h no m s5se ( my insuffici5cy & unwor?9ess4 ,o x is sweet ly+ 9 ! du/6 ,b x is di/ress+ to feel 9 my s\l t hell ( corruption :i* /ill rema9s 9 me4 ,9 ! aft]noon _h a s5se ( ! sweetness ( a /rict1 close1 & con/ant devot$ness to ,god1 & my s\l 0 com=t$ ) 8 consolations4 ,my s\l felt a pleas+1 yet pa9ful conc]n1 le/ ,i %\ld sp5d "s mom5ts )\t ,god4 ,o may ,i always live to ,god6 ,9 ! ev5+ ,i 0 visit$ by "s fri5ds1 & sp5t ! "t 9 pray]1 & su* conv]sation z t5d$ to our edification4 ,x 0 a com=table season to my s\l3 ,i felt an int5se desire to sp5d e mom5t = ,god4 ,god is unspeakably graci\s to me cont9ually4 ,9 times pa/1 he has giv5 me inexpressible sweetness 9 ! p]=mance ( duty4 ,frequ5tly my s\l has enjoy$ mu* ( ,god2 b has be5 ready to say1 8,"l1 x is good to be "h10 & s to indulge slo?1 :ile ,i h liv$ on my enjoym5ts4 ,b ( late1 ,god has be5 pleas$ to keep my s\l hungry1 almo/ cont9ually2 s t ,i h be5 fill$ ) a k9d ( pleas+ pa94 ,:5 ,i really enjoy ,god ,i feel my desires ( him ! m insatiable1 & my ?ir/+s aft] hol9ess ! m unqu5*able2 & ! ,"l w n all[ me to feel z ?\gh ,i 7 fully suppli$ & satisfi$1 b keeps me /ill rea*+ =w>d4 ,i feel b>r5 & empty1 z ?\gh ,i c\ld n live )\t m ( ,god2 ,i feel a%am$ & guilty be=e him4 ,i see t 8! law is spiritual1 b ,i am c>nal40 ,i d n1 ,i _c live to ,god4 ,o = hol9ess6 ,o = m ( ,god 9 my s\l6 ,o ?is pleas+ pa96 ,x makes my s\l press aft] ,god2 ! language ( x is1 8,!n %all ,i be satisfi$1 :5 ,i awake 9 ,god's lik5ess10 b nev]1 nev] be=e3 & consequ5tly1 ,i am engag$ to 8press t[>d ! m>k10 day by day4 ,o t ,i may feel ?is cont9ual hung]1 & n be ret>d$1 b r animat$1 by e clu/] f ,canaan1 to rea* =w>d 9 ! n>r[ way = ! full enjoym5t & possession ( ! heav5ly inh]itance6 ,o t ,i may nev] loit] 9 my heav5ly j\rney60 ,"l's day1 ,nov4 #g4--8;,at ,mill+ton4 ,x seem$ z if su* an unholy wret* z ,i nev] c\ld arrive at t bless$ness1 to be 8holy1 z ,god is holy40 ,at noon1 ,i long$ = sanctification1 & con=mity to ,god4 ,o t is ,,! ,,all1 ,,! ,,all4 ,! ,"l help me to press aft] ,god = ev]4 ,nov4 #h4--8,t[>d night1 enjoy$ mu* sweetness 9 secret pray]1 s t my s\l long$ = an arrival 9 ! heav5ly c\ntry1 ! bless$ p>adise ( ,god4 ,?r\gh div9e goodness ,i h sc>ce se5 ! day = two mon?s1 9 :i* dea? has n look$ s pleasant to me1 at "o "t or o!r ( ! day1 t ,i c\ld h rejoic$ t x %\ld be my la/1 not)/&+ my pres5t inw>d trials & conflicts4 ,i tru/ ! ,"l w f9ally make me a conqu]or1 & m ?an a conqu]or2 & t ,i %all be able to use t triumphant language1 8,o dea?1 :]e is ?y /+6 ,o grave1 :]e is ?y victory60 ,nov4 #ai4--8;,at ,new-,hav54 ,receiv$ a lett] f ! ,rev4 ,mr4 ,pemb]ton1 ( ,new-,york1 desir+ me spe$ily to g d[n ?i!r1 & consult 9 ref]5ce to ! evangeliz+ ( ! ,indians 9 ^? p>ts2 & to meet c]ta9 g5tlem5 !re :o 7 intru/$ ) ^? affairs4 ,my m9d 0 in/antly seiz$ ) conc]n2 s ,i retir$1 ) two or ?ree ,*ri/ian fri5ds1 & pray$2 & inde$ x 0 a sweet "t ) me4 ,i 0 enabl$ to leave myself1 & all my conc]ns ) ,god2 & tak+ leave ( fri5ds1 ,i rode to ,ripton1 & 0 com=t$ 9 an opportunity to see & conv]se ) de> ,mr4 ,mills40 ,nov4 #bd4--8;,came to ,new-,york2 felt /ill mu* conc]n$ ab\t ! importance ( my bus9ess2 made _m e>ne/ reque/s to ,god = 8 help & direction2 0 confus$ ) ! noise & tumult ( ! city2 enjoy$ b little "t alone ) ,god2 b my s\l long$ aft] him4 ,nov4 #be4--8,sp5t mu* "t 9 pray] & supplication3 0 exam9$ 9 ref]5ce to my ,*ri/ian exp]i5ce1 my acqua9tance ) div9ity1 & "s o!r /udies & my qualifications = ! important "w ( evangeliz+ ! hea!n1,a & 0 made s5sible ( my great ignorance & unfitness = public s]vice4 ,i _h ! mo/ abas+ ?\ghts ( myself2 ,i felt t ,i 0 ! wor/ wret* t ev] liv$3 x pa9$ my v he>t1 t any body %\ld %[ me any respect4 ,alas6 me?\ght h[ sadly !y are deceiv$ 9 me6 h[ mis]ably w\ld !y be disappo9t$ if !y knew my inside6 ,o my he>t6 ,& 9 ?is depress$ condition ,i 0 =c$ to g & prea* to a consid]able assembly1 be=e "s grave & le>n$ m9i/]s2 b felt su* a pressure f a s5se ( my vil5ess1 ignorance1 & unfitness to appe> 9 public1 t ,i 0 almo/ ov]come ) x2 my s\l 0 griev$ = ! congregation1 t !y %\ld sit !re to he> su* a dead dog z ,i prea*4 ,i ?\ght myself inf9itely indebt$ to ! p1 & long$ t ,god w\ld rew>d !m ) ! rew>ds ( 8 grace4 ,i sp5t mu* ( ! ev5+ alone40 ,footnote ,a3 ,mr4 ,bra9]d 0 exam9$ by ! correspond5ts 9 ,new-,york1 ,new-,j]sey1 & ,p5nsylvania1 ( ! ,society 9 ,scotl& = propagat+ ,*ri/ian k2 to :om 0 committ$ ! managem5t ( _! affairs 9 ^? p>ts1 & :o 7 n[ met at ,new-,york4 ,,*apt] ,,iv4 ,f 8 appo9tm5t z a ,mission>y1 to 8 comm5c+ 8 ,mission among ! ,indians at ,kaunaumeek1 9 ,new-,york4 ,nov4 #bf1 #agdb4--,m>* #ca1 #agdc4 ,nov4 #bf1 #agdb4--8;,_h /ill a s5se ( my great vil5ess1 & endeavor$ z mu* z ,i c\ld to keep alone4 ,o :at a no?+1 :at du/ & a%es am ,i6 ,enjoy$ "s peace & com=t 9 spread+ my compla9ts be=e ! ,god ( all grace4 ,nov4 #bg4--8;,committ$ my s\l to ,god ) "s degree ( com=t2 left ,new-,york ab\t n9e 9 ! morn+2 came away ) a di/ress+ s5se /ill ( my unspeakable unwor?9ess4 ,surely ,i may well love all my bre?r52 = none ( !m all is s vile z ,i3 :atev] !y d outw>dly1 yet x seems to me none is consci\s ( s mu* guilt be=e ,god4 ,o my leanness1 my b>r5ness1 my c>nality1 & pa/ bitt]ness1 & want ( a gospel temp]6 ,^! ?+s oppress my s\l4 ,rode f ,new-,york1 ?irty miles1 to ,:ite ,pla9s1 & mo/ ( ! way cont9u$ lift+ up my he>t to ,god = m]cy & purify+ grace2 & sp5t ! ev5+ mu* deject$ 9 _s4 ,dec4 #a4--8,my s\l brea!d aft] ,god1 9 sweet spiritual & long+ desires ( con=mity to him1 & 0 br\ght to re/ itself on 8 ri* grace1 & felt /r5g? & enc\ragem5t to d or suff] any ?+1 t div9e provid5ce %\ld allot me4 ,rode ab\t tw5ty miles1 f ,/ratfield to ,newt[n40 ,)9 ! space ( ! next n9e days he w5t a j\rney f ,newt[n to ,haddam1 8 native t[n2 & aft] /ay+ !re "s days1 return$ aga9 into ! we/]n "p ( ,connecticut1 & came to ,s\?bury4 ,dec4 #aa4--8;,conv]s$ ) a de> fri5d1 to :om ,i _h ?\ght ( giv+ a lib]al education1 & be+ at ! :ole *>ge ( x1 t he might be fitt$ = ! gospel m9i/ry4,b ,i acqua9t$ him ) my ?\ghts on ! subject1 & s left him to consid] ( x1 till ,i %\ld see him aga94 ,!n ,i rode to ,be?lehem1 came to ,mr4 ,bellamy's lodg+s1 & sp5t ! ev5+ ) him 9 sweet conv]sation & pray]4 ,we comm5d$ ! conc]n ( s5d+ my fri5d to college to ! ,god ( all grace4 ,bless$ be ! ,"l = ?is ev5+'s opportunity toge!r4 ,footnote ,b3 ,bra9]d1 hav+ n[ und]tak5 ! bus9ess ( a mission>y to ! ,indians1 & hav+ "s e/ate left him by 8 fa!r1 judg$ t !re 0 no way 9 :i* he c\ld sp5d x m = ! glory ( ,god1 ?an by be+ at ! *>ge ( educat+ "s "y man ( tal5ts & piety = ! m9i/ry4 ,! "y man "h spok5 ( 0 select$ = ?is purpose1 & receiv$ 8 education at ,bra9]d's exp5se1 s long z 8 b5efactor liv$1 :i* 0 till he 0 c>ri$ ?r\gh 8 ?ird ye> 9 college4 ,"l's day1 ,dec4 #ab4--8;,i felt1 9 ! morn+1 z if ,i _h little or no p[] ei!r to pray or prea*2 & felt a di/ress+ ne$ ( div9e help4 ,i w5t to meet+ trembl+2 b x pleas$ ,god to assi/ me 9 pray] & s]mon4 ,i ?9k my s\l sc>ce ev] p5etrat$ s f> into ! immat]ial _w1 9 any "o pray] t ,i ev] made1 nor 7 my devotions ev] s free f gross conceptions & imag9ations fram$ f behold+ mat]ial objects4 ,i prea*$ ) "s satisfaction1 f ,matt4 #f3cc4 8,b seek ye fir/ ! k+dom ( ,god10 c42 & 9 ! aft]noon1 f ,rom4 #ae3cj4 8,& n[ ,i besee* y bre?r510 c4 ,!re 0 mu* affection 9 ! assembly4 ,?is has be5 a sweet ,sabba? to me2 & bless$ be ,god1 ,i h reason to ?9k t my religion has become m spiritual by means ( my late inw>d conflicts4 ,am54 ,may ,i always be will+ t ,god %\ld use 8 own me?ods ) me6 ,dec4 #ad4--8,"s p]plexity hung on my m9d2 ,i 0 di/ress$ la/ night & ?is morn+ = ! int]e/s ( ,zion1 especially on acc\nt ( ! false appe>ances ( religion1 t d b r bre$ confusion1 especially 9 "s places4 ,i cri$ to ,god = help1 to enable me to be> te/imony aga9/ ^? ?+s1 :i*1 in/ead ( promot+1 d b h9d] ! progress ( vital piety4 ,9 ! aft]noon1 rode d[n to ,s\?bury1 & conv]s$ aga9 ) my fri5d on ! important subject ( 8 pursu+ ! "w ( ! m9i/ry2 & he appe>$ mu* incl9$ to devote himself to x1 if ,god %\ld succe$ 8 attempts to qualify himself = s great a "w4 ,9 ! ev5+ ,i prea*$ f #a ,!ss4 #d3h1 & endeavor$1 ?\gh ) t5d]ness1 to und]m9e false religion4 ,! ,"l gave me "s assi/ance4 ,dec4 #ae4--8;,enjoy$ some?+ ( ,god to-day1 bo? 9 secret & social pray]2 b 0 s5sible ( mu* b>r5ness & defect 9 duty1 z well z my inability to help myself = ! "t to come1 or to p]=m ! "w & bus9ess ,i h to d4 ,aft]w>d1 felt mu* ( ! sweetness ( religion1 & ! t5d]ness ( ! gospel-temp]4 ,i f\nd a de> love to all mank9d1 & 0 mu* afraid le/ "s motion ( ang] or res5tm5t %\ld1 f "t to "t creep into my he>t4 ,_h "s com=t+1 s\l-refre%+ disc\rse ) de> fri5ds1 j z we took our leave ( ea* o!r2 & suppos$ x might be we %\ld n meet aga9 till we came to ! et]nal _w4,c ,i d\bt n b1 ?r\gh grace1 "s ( u %all h a happy meet+ !re1 & bless ,god = ?is season1 z well z _m o!rs4 ,am54 ,footnote ,c3 ,x _h be5 det]m9$ by ! ,commission]s1 :o employ$ ,bra9]d z a mission>y1 t he %\ld g1 z soon z might be conv5i5tly1 to ! ,indians liv+ ne> ! ,=ks ( ,delaw>e riv]1 & ! ,indians on ,susquehanna riv]4 ,! di/ance ( ^? places1 & 8 probable exposure to _m h>d%ips & dang]s1 0 ! occasion ( 8 tak+ leave ( 8 fri5ds 9 ?is mann]4 ,dec4 #ah4 8,sp5t mu* "t 9 pray] 9 ! woods2 & seem$ rais$ above ! ?+s ( ! _w3 my s\l 0 /rong 9 ! ,"l ( ,ho/s2 b 0 s5sible ( great b>r5ness4 ,dec4 #bc4--8;,enjoy$1 ,i tru/1 ! pres5ce ( ,god ?is morn+ 9 secret4 ,o1 h[ div9ely sweet is x to come into ! secret ( 8 pres5ce1 & abide 9 8 pavilion6 ,dec4 #bg4--8;,enjoy$ a preci\s season inde$2 _h a melt+ s5se ( div9e ?+s1 ( ! pure spirituality ( ! religion ( ,*ri/ ,jesus4 ,9 ! ev5+ ,i prea*$ f ,matt4 #f3cc4 ) mu* fre$om1 p[] & pung5cy3 ! pres5ce ( ,god att5d$ our meet+4 ,o1 ! sweetness1 ! t5d]ness ,i felt 9 my s\l6 ,if ev] ,i felt ! temp] ( ,*ri/1 ,i _h "s s5se ( x n[4 ,bless$ be my ,god1 ,i h seldom enjoy$ a m com=table & pr(itable day ?an ?is4 ,o1 t ,i c\ld sp5d all my "t = ,god6 ,jan4 #ad1 #agdc4--8,my spiritual conflicts to-day 7 unspeakably dreadful1 heavi] ?an ! m\nta9s & ov]-fl[+ floods4 ,i 0 depriv$ ( all s5se ( ,god1 ev5 ( ! be+ ( a ,god2 & t 0 my mis]y4 ,! torm5ts ( ! damn$1 ,i am sure1 w consi/ mu* 9 a privation ( ,god1 & consequ5tly ( all good4 ,?is taught me ! absolute dep5d5ce ( a creature ^u ,god ! ,creator1 = e crumb ( happ9ess x enjoys4 ,o1 ,i feel t1 if !re is no ,god1 ?\gh ,i might live = ev] "h1 & enjoy n only ?is1 b all o!r worlds1 ,i %\ld be t5 ?\s& times m mis]able ?an a reptile4 ,"l's day1 ,jan4 #bc4--8;,i sc>ce ev] felt myself s unfit to exi/ z n[3 saw ,i 0 n wor?y ( a place among ! ,indians1 :]e ,i am go+1 if ,god p]mit3 ?\ght ,i %\ld be a%am$ to look !m 9 ! face1 & mu* m to h any respect %[n me !re4 ,inde$ ,i felt myself bani%$ f ! e>?1 z if all places 7 too good = su* a wret*4 ,i ?\ght ,i %\ld be a%am$ to g among ! v savages ( ,africa2 ,i appe>$ to myself a creature fit = no?+1 nei!r heav5 nor e>?4 ,none "k b ^? :o feel x1 :at ! s\l endures t is s5sibly %ut out f ! pres5ce ( ,god3 alas6 x is m bitt] ?an dea?4 ,feb4 #b4--8,prea*$ my f>ewell s]mon la/ night1 at ! h\se ( an ag$ man1 :o _h be5 unable to att5d on public wor%ip = "s "t4 ,?is morn+ sp5t ! "t 9 pray]1 almo/ :]ev] ,i w5t2 & hav+ tak5 leave ( fri5ds1 ,i set out on my j\rney t[>d ! ,indians2 ?\gh ,i 0 fir/ to sp5d "s weeks at ,ea/-,hampton1 on ,long-,isl&1 by leave ( ! commission]s2 ! w9t] season be+ judg$ unfavorable = ! comm5cem5t ( ! mission4 ,feb4 #ab4--;,at ,ea/-,hampton4 8,enjoy$ a little m com=t2 0 enabl$ to m$itate ) "s composure ( m9d2 & especially 9 ! ev5+1 f\nd my s\l m refre%$ 9 pray] ?an at any "t ( late2 my s\l seem$ to 8take hold ( ,god's /r5g?10 & 0 com=t$ ) 8 consolations4 ,o1 h[ sweet are "s glimpses ( div9e glory6 h[ /r5g!n+ & quick5+6 ,feb4 #ae4 8,e>ly 9 ! day ,i felt "s com=t1 aft]w>d ,i walk$ into a neighbor+ grove1 & felt m z a /rang] on e>?1 ,i ?9k1 ?an ev] be=e2 dead to any ( ! enjoym5ts ( ! _w4 ,9 ! ev5+ _h div9e sweetness 9 secret duty3 ,god 0 !n my portion1 & my s\l rose above ^? deep wat]s1 into :i* ,i h sunk s l[ ( late4 ,my s\l !n cri$ = ,zion1 & _h sweetness 9 s do+40 ,feb4 #ag4--8,prea*$ ?is day at a little village 9 ,ea/-,hampton2 & ,god 0 pleas$ to give me 8 graci\s pres5ce & assi/ance1 s t ,i spake ) fre$om1 boldness1 & "s p[]4 ,9 ! ev5+ sp5t "s "t ) a de> ,*ri/ian fri5d2 & felt s]i\s1 z on ! br9k ( et]nity4 ,our int]view 0 truly a little emblem ( heav5 itself4 ,i f9d my s\l is m ref9$ & wean$ f a dep5d5ce on my frames & spiritual feel+s4 ,feb4 #ah4--8;,_h "s enjoym5t mo/ ( ! day1 & f\nd access to ! ?rone ( grace4 ,bless$ be ! ,"l = any int]vals ( heav5ly delight & composure1 :ile ,i am engag$ 9 ! field ( battle4 ,o1 t ,i might be s]i\s1 solemn1 & always vigilant1 :ile 9 an evil _w6 ,_h "s opportunity alone to-day1 & f\nd "s fre$om 9 /udy4 ,o1 ,i long to live to ,god60 ,dur+ ! next two weeks x appe>s t = ! mo/ "p he enjoy$ mu* spiritual peace & com=t4 ,9 8 di>y = ?is space ( "t1 are express$ su* ?+s z ^!2 m\rn+ ov] indwell+ s91 unpr(itabl5ess2 deadness to ! _w2 long+ aft] ,god1 & to live to 8 glory2 he>t melt+ desires aft] 8 et]nal home2 fix$ reliance on ,god = 8 help2 exp]i5ce ( mu* div9e assi/ance1 bo? 9 ! private & public ex]cises ( religion2 inw>d /r5g? & c\rage 9 ! s]vice ( ,god2 v frequ5t refre%m5t1 consolation1 & div9e sweetness 9 m$itation1 pray]1 prea*+1 & ,*ri/ian conv]sation4 ,& x appe>s by 8 acc\nt1 t ?is space ( "t 0 fill$ up ) great dilig5ce & e>ne/ness 9 s]v+ ,god2 9 /udy1 pray]1 m$itation1 prea*+1 & privately in/ruct+ & c\nsel+4 ,m>* #g4--8,?is morn+ :5 ,i arose ,i f\nd my he>t g =? aft] ,god 9 long+ desires ( con=mity to him1 & 9 secret pray] f\nd myself sweetly quick5$ & drawn out 9 praises to ,god = all he _h done to & = me1 & = all my inw>d trials & di/ress ( late4 ,my he>t ascrib$ glory1 glory1 glory to ! bless$ ,god6 & bid welcome to all inw>d di/ress aga91 if ,god saw meet to ex]cise me ) x4 ,"t appe>$ b an in* long1 & et]nity at h&2 & ,i ?\ght ,i c\ld ) pati5ce & *e]fulness be> any ?+ = ! cause ( ,god2 = ,i saw t a mom5t w\ld br+ me to a _w ( peace & bless$ness4 ,my s\l1 by ! /r5g? ( ! ,"l1 rose f> above ?is l[] _w1 & all ! va9 amusem5ts & frightful disappo9tm5ts ( x4 ,"l's day1 ,m>* #ac4 8,at noon1 ,i ?\ght x impossible = me to prea*1 by reason ( bodily weakness & inw>d deadness4 ,9 ! fir/ pray]1 ,i 0 s weak t ,i c\ld sc>cely /&2 b 9 ! s]mon1 ,god /r5g!n$ me1 s t ,i spake ne> an h\r & a half ) sweet fre$om1 cle>ness1 & "s t5d] p[]1 f ,g54 #e3bd4 8,& ,eno* walk$ ) ,god40 ,i 0 sweetly assi/$ to insi/ on a close walk ) ,god1 & to leave ?is z my p>t+ advice to ,god's p "h1 t !y %\ld 8walk ) ,god40 ,may ! ,god ( all grace succe$ my poor labors 9 ?is place6 ,m>* #ad4 8,9 ! morn+ 0 v busy 9 prep>ation = my j\rney1 & 0 almo/ cont9ually engag$ 9 ejaculatory pray]4 ,ab\t t5 took leave ( ! de> p ( ,ea/-,hampton2 my he>t griev$ & m\rn$1 & rejoic$ at ! same "t2 rode ne> fifty miles to a "p ( ,brook-,hav51 & lodg$ !re1 & _h refre%+ conv]sation ) a ,*ri/ian fri5d40 ,9 two days m he rea*$ ,new-,york2 b compla9s ( mu* des]tion & deadness on ! road4 ,he /ay$ "o day 9 ,new-,york1 & on ,friday w5t to ,mr4 ,dick9son's at ,elizabe?-,t[n4 ,m>* #ai4 8,0 bitt]ly di/ress$ "u a s5se ( my ignorance1 d>kness1 & unwor?9ess2 got alone1 & p\r$ out my compla9t to ,god 9 ! bitt]ness ( my s\l4 ,9 ! aft]noon rode to ,new>k1 & _h "s sweetness 9 conv]sation & pray] ) ,mr4 ,burr4 ,o bless$ be ,god = ev] & ev]1 = any enliv5+ & quick5+ seasons4 ,"l's day1 ,m>* #bj4 8,prea*$ 9 ! =5oon3 ,god gave me "s assi/ance1 & enabl$ me to speak ) real t5d]ness1 love1 & imp>tiality4 ,9 ! ev5+ prea*$ aga92 & ( a tru? ,god 0 pleas$ to assi/ a poor worm4 ,bless$ be ,god1 ,i 0 enabl$ to speak ) life1 p[]1 & desire ( ! edification ( ,god's p2 & ) "s p[] to s9n]s4 ,9 ! ev5+ ,i 0 wat*ful1 le/ my he>t %\ld by any means be drawn away f ,god4 ,o :5 %all ,i come to t bless$ _w :]e e p[] ( my s\l w be incessantly & et]nally w\nd up 9 heav5ly employm5ts & enjoym5ts1 to ! highe/ degree60 ,on ,monday he w5t to ,woodbridge1 ,new-,j]sey1 :]e he met ! ,correspond5ts1 :o1 in/ead ( s5d+ him to ! ,indians at ! ,=ks ( ! ,delaw>e1 z be=e int5d$1 direct$ him to g to a numb] ( ,indians at ,kaunaumeek2 a place 9 ,new-,york1 9 ! woods betwe5 ,/ockbridge & ,albany4 ,?is alt]ation 0 occasion$ by two ?+s4 #a4 ,in=mation :i* ! correspond5ts _h receiv$ ( "s cont5tion betwe5 ! :ite p & ! ,indians on ! ,delaw>e1 conc]n+ _! l&s2 :i* !y suppos$ w\ld be a h9d]ance to ! success ( a mission>y among !m at t "t4 #b4 ,"s intimations :i* !y _h receiv$ f ,mr4 ,s]geant1 ,mission>y to ! ,indians at ,/ockbridge1 conc]n+ ! ,indians at ,kaunaumeek1 & ! hopeful prospect ( success :i* a ,mission>y might h among !m4 ,on ! day foll[+ he set out on 8 j\rney = ,kaunaumeek1 & arriv$ at ,mr4 ,s]geant's h\se 9 ,/ockbridge ,m>* #ca4 ,,*apt] ,v4 ,8 labors = ne>ly a ye> among ! ,indians at ,kaunaumeek--temporal deprivations & suff]+s--e/abli%es a s*ool--confession (f]$ to ! faculty ( ,yale ,college--days ( fa/+--me?ods ( in/ruct+ ! ,indians--visit to ,new-,j]sey & ,connecticut--comm5cem5t ( labor among ! ,indians at ! ,=ks ( ! ,delaw>e--,ord9ation4 ,april #a1 #agdc4--;,june #ab1 #agdd4 ,april #a1 #agdc4 8,i rode to ,kaunaumeek1 9 ! wild]ness1 ne> tw5ty miles f ,/ockbridge1 & ab\t an equal di/ance f ,albany1 :]e ! ,indians live ) :om ,i am conc]n$2 & lodg$ ) a poor ,scot*man1 ab\t a mile & a half di/ant f !m1 on a little heap ( /raw1 9 a log room )\t any floor4 ,i 0 greatly ex]cis$ ) inw>d trials1 & seem$ to h no ,god to g to4 ,o t ,god w\ld help me6 ,april #g4 8,appe>$ to myself exce$+ly ignorant1 weak1 helpless1 unwor?y1 & altoge!r unequal to my "w4 ,x seem$ to me t ,i %\ld nev] d any s]vice1 or h any success among ! ,indians4 ,my s\l 0 we>y ( my life2 ,i long$ = dea?1 beyond measure4 ,:5 ,i ?\ght ( any godly s\l dep>t$1 my s\l 0 ready to envy him 8 privilege1 ?9k+1 8,o :5 w my turn come6 mu/ x be ye>s fir/60 ,b ,i "k ^! ard5t desires1 at ?is & o!r times1 rose p>tly f ! want ( resignation to ,god "u all mis]ies2 & s 7 b impati5ce4 ,t[>d night ,i _h ! ex]cise ( fai? 9 pray]1 & "s assi/ance 9 writ+4 ,o t ,god w\ld keep me ne> him6 ,"l's day1 ,april #aj4 8,rose e>ly 9 ! morn+ & walk$ out & sp5t a consid]able "t 9 ! woods1 9 pray] & m$itation4 ,prea*$ to ! ,indians1 bo? =5oon & aft]noon4 ,!y behav$ sob]ly 9 g5]al3 two or ?ree 9 p>ticul> appe>$ to be "u "s religi\s conc]n2 ) :om ,i disc\rs$ privately2 & "o told me1 8t h] he>t _h cri$ ev] s9ce %e fir/ he>d me prea*40 ,april #af4--8;,9 ! aft]noon prea*$ to my p2 b 0 m disc\rag$ ) !m ?an be=e2 fe>$ t no?+ w\ld ev] be done = !m to any happy effect4 ,i retir$ & p\r$ out my s\l to ,god = m]cy2 b )\t any s5sible relief4 ,soon aft]1 two ungodly m5 came1 ) a design1 z !y said1 to he> me prea* ! next day2 b none c tell h[ ,i felt to he> _! pr(ane talk4 ,o1 ,i long$ t "s de> ,*ri/ian %\ld "k my di/ress4 ,i got into a k9d ( hovel1 & !re groan$ out my compla9t to ,god2 & )al felt m s5sible gratitude & ?ankfulness to ,god1 t he _h made me to diff] f ^! m51 z ,i knew1 ?r\gh grace1 he _h4 ,"l's day1 ,april #ag4--8;,9 ! morn+ 0 aga9 di/ress$ z soon z ,i awak$1 he>+ mu* talk ab\t ! _w1 & ! ?+s ( x4 ,i p]ceiv$ t ! m5 7 9 "s measure afraid ( me2 & ,i disc\rs$ ab\t sanctify+ ! ,sabba?1 if possible to solemnize _! m9ds2 b :5 !y 7 at a little di/ance1 !y aga9 talk$ freely ab\t secul> affairs4 ,o ,i ?\ght :at a hell x w\ld be to live ) su* m5 to et]nity6 ,! ,"l gave me "s assi/ance 9 prea*+1 all day1 & "s resignation1 & a small degree ( com=t 9 pray]1 at night4 ,april #ai4--8;,9 ! morn+ ,i enjoy$ "s sweet repose & re/ 9 ,god2 felt "s /r5g? & confid5ce 9 him2 & my s\l 0 9 "s measure refre%$ & com=t$4 ,sp5t mo/ ( ! day 9 writ+1 & _h "s ex]cise ( grace1 s5sible & com=table4 ,my s\l seem$ lift$ above ! deep wat]s1 :]e9 x has long be5 almo/ dr[n$2 felt "s spiritual long+s & brea?+s aft] ,god2 & f\nd myself engag$ = ! advancem5t ( ,*ri/'s k+dom 9 my own s\l4 ,april #bj4--8,set ap>t ?is day = fa/+ & pray]1 to b[ my s\l be=e ,god = ! be/[m5t ( div9e grace2 especially t all my spiritual afflictions1 & inw>d di/resses1 might be sanctifi$ to my s\l4 ,& endeavor$ also to rememb] ! goodness ( ,god to me ! ye> pa/1 ?is day be+ my bir? day4 ,hav+ obta9$ help ( ,god1 ,i h hi!rto liv$1 & am n[ arriv$ at ! age ( tw5ty-five ye>s4 ,my s\l 0 pa9$ to ?9k ( my b>r5ness & deadness2 t ,i h liv$ s little to ! glory ( ! et]nal ,god4 ,i sp5t ! day 9 ! woods alone1 & !re p\r$ out my compla9t to ,god4 ,o t ,god w\ld enable me to live to 8 glory = ! future6 ,may #aj4--8,0 9 ! same /ate z to my m9d1 t ,i h be5 9 = "s "t2 extremely oppress$ ) a s5se ( guilt1 pollution1 & bl9dness1 8,! iniquity ( my heels ha? compass$ me ab\t3 ! s9s ( my y\? h be5 set 9 ord] be=e me2 !y h gone ov] my head1 z an heavy burd51 too heavy = me to be>40 ,almo/ all ! actions ( my life pa/ seem to be cov]$ ov] ) s9 & guilt2 & ^? ( !m t ,i p]=m$ 9 ! mo/ consci5ti\s mann]1 n[ fill me ) %ame & confusion1 t ,i _c hold up my face4 ,o1 ! pride1 selfi%ness1 hypocrisy1 ignorance1 bitt]ness1 p>ty zeal1 & ! want ( love1 c&or1 meekness1 & g5tl5ess1 t h att5d$ my attempts to promote ! int]e/s ( religion2 & ?is1 :5 ,i h reason to hope ,i _h real assi/ance f above1 & "s sweet int]c\rse ) heav56 ,b alas1 :at corrupt mixtures att5d$ my be/ duties60 ,may #ah4--8,my circum/ances are su* t ,i h no com=t ( any k9d1 b :at ,i h 9 ,god4 ,i live 9 ! mo/ lonesome wild]ness2 h b "o s+le p]son to conv]se ) t c speak ,engli%4,d ,mo/ ( ! talk ,i he>1 is ei!r ,highl& ,scot*1 or ,indian4 ,i h no fell[-*ri/ian to :om ,i may unbosom myself1 or lay op5 my spiritual sorr[s2 ) :om ,i may take sweet c\nsel 9 conv]sation ab\t heav5ly ?+s1 & jo9 9 social pray]4 ,i live poorly ) reg>d to ! com=ts ( life3 mo/ ( my diet consi/s ( boil$ corn1 ha/y-pudd+1 c4 ,i lodge on a bundle ( /raw1 my labor is h>d & extremely difficult1 & ,i h little appe>ance ( success to com=t me4 ,! ,indians h no l& to live on b :at ! ,dut* p lay claim to2 & ^! ?reat5 to drive !m (f4 ,!y h no reg>d to ! s\ls ( ! poor ,indians2 & by :at ,i c le>n1 !y hate me because ,i come to prea* to !m4 ,b t :i* makes all my difficulties griev\s to be borne1 is1 t ,god hides 8 face f me4 ,footnote ,d3 ,?is p]son 0 ,,bra9]d's int]pret]1 an +5i\s "y ,indian1 belong+ to ,/ockbridge1 ^: "n 0 ,john ,wauwaumpequunnaunt4 ,he _h be5 in/ruct$ 9 ! ,*ri/ian religion by ,mr4 ,s]geant2 _h liv$ ) ! ,rev4 ,mr4 ,williams1 ( ,long-,mead[2 _h be5 fur!r in/ruct$ by him1 at ! *>ge ( ,mr4 ,hollis1 ( ,london2 & und]/ood bo? ,engli% & ,indian v well1 & wrote a good h&4 ,may #bj4--8,0 mu* p]plex$ "s "p ( ! day2 b t[>d night _h "s com=table m$itations on ,isa4 #dj3a4 8,com=t ye1 com=t ye my p1 sai? y\r ,god10 & enjoy$ "s sweetness 9 pray]4 ,aft]w>d my s\l rose s f> above ! deep wat]s1 t ,i d>$ to rejoice 9 ,god4 ,i saw t !re 0 suffici5t matt] ( consolation 9 ! bless$ ,god40 ,on ,monday1 ,may #cj1 he set out on a j\rney to ,new-,j]sey to consult ! commission]s1 & obta9 ord]s f !m to set up a s*ool among ! ,indians at ,kaunaumeek1 & t 8 int]pret] might be appo9t$ ! s*oolma/]2 :i* 0 accord+ly done4 ,he proce$$ f ,new-,j]sey to ,new-,hav51 :]e he arriv$ on ,monday1 ,june #f2 attempt$ a reconciliation ) ! faculty ( ! college2 & sp5t ?is week 9 visit+ 8 fri5ds 9 ^? p>ts1 & 9 8 j\rney homew>d1 till ,saturday1 9 a pretty com=table frame ( m9d4 ,on ,saturday1 9 8 way f ,/ockbridge to ,kaunaumeek1 he 0 lo/ 9 ! woods1 & lay all night 9 ! op5 air2 b happily f\nd 8 way 9 ! morn+1 & came to 8 ,indians on ,"l's day1 ,june #ab1 & _h great] assi/ance 9 prea*+ among !m ?an ev] be=e1 s9ce 8 fir/ com+ among !m4 ,f ?is "t =w>d he 0 ! subject ( v>i\s frames & ex]cises ( m9d1 9 ! g5]al mu* aft] ! same mann] z hi!rto f 8 fir/ com+ to ,kaunaumeek1 till he got into 8 own h\se1 7a little hut1 :i* he made *iefly ) 8 own h&s1 by long & h>d labor47 ,he f\nd t ! di/ance ( ! family ) :om he at fir/ lodg$1 deb>r$ him f _m favorable opportunities ( access to ! ,indians1 especially morn+ & ev5+2 & aft] ab\t ?ree mon?s1 remov$ & liv$ ) ! ,indians 9 "o ( _! wigwams4 ,"h he cont9u$ = ab\t "o mon?1 :5 he complet$ ! small h\se ( :i* he n[ speaks4 ,al?\gh he 0 mu* deject$ dur+ mo/ ( ?is p]iod1 yet he _h _m int]missions ( 8 melan*oly1 & "s seasons ( com=t1 sweet tranquillity & resignation ( m9d1 & frequ5tly special assi/ance 9 public s]vices1 z appe>s 9 8 di>y4 ,! mann] ( 8 relief f 8 sorr[1 once 9 p>ticul>1 is wor?y to be m5tion$ 9 8 own words4 ,july #be4--8;,_h little or no resolution = a life ( hol9ess2 0 ready almo/ to r5\nce my hope ( liv+ to ,god4 ,& ,o h[ d>k x look$1 to ?9k ( be+ unholy = ev]6 ,?is ,i c\ld n endure4 ,! cry ( my s\l 01 ,psalm #fe3c4 8,iniquities prevail aga9/ me40 ,b ,i 0 9 "s measure reliev$ by a com=table m$itation on ,god's et]nity1 t he nev] _h a beg9n+4 ,:5ce ,i 0 l$ to admire 8 greatness & p[]1 9 su* a mann]1 t ,i /ood /ill1 & prais$ ! ,"l = 8 own glories & p]fections3 ?\gh ,i 0 7& if ,i %\ld = ev] be7 an unholy creature1 my s\l 0 com=t$ to appreh5d an et]nal1 inf9ite1 p[]ful1 holy ,god40 ,july #cj4--8;,j at night1 mov$ into my own h\se1 & lodg$ !re t night2 f\nd x mu* bett] sp5d+ ! "t alone ?an 9 ! wigwam :]e ,i 0 be=e4 ,"l's day1 ,july #ca4--8;,felt m com=tably ?an "s days pa/4 ,bless$ be ! ,"l1 :o has n[ giv5 me a place ( retirem5t4 ,o t ,i may f9d ,god 9 x1 & t he w\ld dwell ) me = ev]6 ,aug4 #a4--8,0 /ill busy 9 fur!r labors on my h\se4 ,felt a little sweetness ( religion1 & ?\ght t x 0 wor? :ile to foll[ aft] ,god ?r\gh a ?\s& sn>es1 des]ts1 & dea? itself4 ,o t ,i might always foll[ aft] hol9ess1 t ,i may be fully con=m$ to ,god6 ,_h "s degree ( sweetness 9 secret pray]1 ?\gh ,i _h mu* sorr[4 ,aug4 #c4--8,sp5t mo/ ( ! day 9 writ+4 ,enjoy$ "s s5se ( religion4 ,?r\gh div9e goodness ,i am n[ un9t]rupt$ly alone1 & f9d my retirem5t com=table4 ,i h enjoy$ m s5se ( div9e ?+s )9 a few days la/ pa/ ?an = "s "t be=e4 ,i long$ aft] hol9ess1 humility1 & meekness3 ,o t ,god w\ld enable me to #8pass ! "t ( my soj\rn+ "h 9 8 fe>1' & always live to him6 ,aug4 #d4--8,0 enabl$ to pray mu* ?r\gh ! :ole day2 & ?r\gh div9e goodness f\nd "s int5s5ess ( s\l 9 ! duty1 z ,i us$ to d1 & "s ability to p]sev]e 9 my supplications4 ,i _h "s appreh5sions ( div9e ?+s1 :i* af=d$ me c\rage & resolution4 ,x is good1 ,i f9d1 to p]sev]e 9 attempts to pray1 if ,i _c pray ) p]sev]ance1 i4 e4 cont9ue long 9 my addresses to ! ,div9e ,be+4 ,i h g5]ally f\nd t ! m ,i d 9 secret pray]1 ! m ,i h delight$ to d1 & ! m ,i h enjoy$ a _s ( pray]2 & frequ5tly ,i h f\nd ! contr>y1 :5 by j\rney+ or o!rwise ,i h be5 mu* depriv$ ( retirem5t4 ,a seasonable1 /eady p]=mance ( ,,secret ,,duties ,,9 ,,_! ,,prop] ,,h\rs1 & a ,,c>eful ,,improvem5t ,,( ,,all ,,"t1 fill+ up e h\r ) "s pr(itable labor1 ei!r ( he>t1 head1 or h&s1 are excell5t means ( spiritual peace & boldness be=e ,god4 ,fill+ up our "t ) & = ,god1 is ! way to rise up & lie d[n 9 peace4 ,aug4 #ac4--8,0 enabl$ 9 secret pray] to raise my s\l to ,god1 ) desire & delight4 ,x 0 inde$ a bless$ season4 ,i f\nd ! com=t ( be+ a ,*ri/ian2 & 8c\nt$ ! suff]+s ( ! pres5t life n wor?y to be comp>$ ) ! glory0 ( div9e enjoym5ts ev5 9 ?is _w4 ,all my pa/ sorr[s seem$ k9dly to disappe>1 & ,i 8rememb]$ no m ! sorr[1 = joy40 ,o1 h[ k9dly1 & ) :at a filial t5d]ness1 ! s\l confides 9 8! ,rock ( ,ages10 at su* a season1 t he w 8nev] leave x nor =sake x10 t he w cause 8all ?+s to "w toge!r = its good60 ,i long$ t o!rs %\ld "k h[ good a ,god ! ,"l is4 ,my s\l 0 full ( t5d]ness & love1 ev5 to ! mo/ invet]ate ( my enemies4 ,i long$ t !y %\ld %>e 9 ! same m]cy2 & lov$ t ,god %\ld s d j z he pleas$ ) me & e ?+ else4 ,i felt peculi>ly s]i\s1 calm1 & peaceful1 & enc\ragem5t to press aft] hol9ess z long z ,i live1 :atev] difficulties & trials may be 9 my way4 ,may ! ,"l always help me s to d6 ,am51 & ,am54 ,aug4 #ae4--8,sp5t mo/ ( ! day 9 labor1 to procure some?+ to keep my horse on 9 ! w9t]4 ,_h n mu* spiritual enjoym5t 9 ! morn+2 0 v weak 9 body ?r\gh ! day2 & ?\ght t ?is frail body w\ld soon drop into ! du/2 & _h "s v realiz+ appreh5sions ( a spe$y entrance into ano!r _w4 ,9 ?is weak /ate ( body1 ,i 0 n a little di/ress$ = want ( suitable food4 ,i _h no bread1 nor c\ld ,i get any4 ,i am =c$ to g or s5d t5 or fifte5 miles = all ! bread ,i eat2 & sometimes x is m\ldy & s\r be=e ,i eat x1 if ,i get any consid]able quantity4 ,& !n aga9 ,i h none = "s days toge!r1 = want ( an opportunity to s5d = x1 & _c f9d my horse 9 ! woods to g myself2 & ?is 0 my case n[2 b ?r\gh div9e goodness ,i _h "s ,indian meal1 ( :i* ,i made cakes1 & fri$ !m4 ,yet ,i felt cont5t$ ) my circum/ances1 & sweetly resign$ to ,god4 ,9 pray] ,i enjoy$ great fre$om2 & bless$ ,god z mu* = my pres5t circum/ances z if ,i _h be5 a k+2 & ?\ght t ,i f\nd a disposition to be cont5t$ 9 any circum/ances4 ,bless$ be ,god40 ,9 8 di>y = ,saturday1 he says he 0 some:at melan*oly & sorr[ful 9 m9d2 & adds1 8,i nev] feel com=tably1 b :5 ,i f9d my s\l go+ =? aft] ,god4 ,if ,i _c be holy1 ,i mu/ necess>ily be mis]able = ev]4 ,"l's day1 ,aug4 #ba4--8,0 mu* /rait5$ 9 ! =5oon ex]cise2 my ?\ghts seem$ to be all scatt]$ to ! ends ( ! e>?4 ,at noon1 ,i fell d[n be=e ! ,"l1 groan$ "u my vil5ess1 b>r5ness1 & deadness2 & felt z if ,i 0 guilty ( s\l murd]1 9 speak+ to immortal s\ls 9 su* a mann] z ,i _h !n done4 ,9 ! aft]noon ,god 0 pleas$ to give me "s assi/ance1 & ,i 0 enabl$ to set be=e my he>]s ! nature & necessity ( true rep5tance4 ,aft]w>d _h "s small degree ( ?ankfulness4 ,0 v ill & full ( pa9 9 ! ev5+ & my s\l m\rn$ t ,i _h sp5t s mu* "t to s little pr(it4 ,aug4 #bc4--8,/udi$ 9 ! =5oon1 & enjoy$ "s fre$om4 ,9 ! aft]noon labor$ abroad3 endeavor$ to pray1 b f\nd n mu* enjoym5t or int5s5ess ( m9d4 ,t[>d night 0 v we>y1 & tir$ ( ?is _w ( sorr[3 ! ?\ghts ( dea? & immortality appe>$ v desirable1 & ev5 refre%$ my s\l4 ,^? l9es turn$ 9 my m9d ) pleasure1 8,come dea?1 %ake h&s2 ,i'll kiss ?y b&s2 8',tis happ9ess = me to die4-- 8,:at6--do/ ?\ ?9k t ,i w %r9k8 8,i'll g to immortality40 8,9 ev5+ pray]1 ,god 0 pleas$ to draw ne> my s\l1 ?\gh v s9ful & unwor?y2 s t ,i 0 enabl$ to wre/le ) ,god1 & to p]sev]e 9 my reque/s = grace4 ,i p\r$ out my s\l = all ! _w1 fri5ds & enemies4 ,my s\l 0 conc]n$1 n s mu* = s\ls z su*1 b r = ,*ri/'s k+dom1 t x might appe> 9 ! _w1 t ,god might be kn[n to be ,god1 9 ! :ole e>?4 ,& ,o my s\l abhorr$ ! v ?\ght ( a p>ty 9 religion6 ,let ! tru? ( ,god appe>1 :]ev] x is2 & ,god h glory = ev]4 ,am54 ,?is 0 inde$ a com=table season4 ,i ?\ght ,i _h "s =eta/e ( ! enjoym5ts & employm5ts ( ! upp] _w4 ,o t my s\l 0 m attemp]$ to x6 ,aug4 #ca4--,on a j\rney to ,new-,york4 8,0 9 a sweet1 s]i\s1 & ,i hope1 ,*ri/ian frame4 ,et]nal ?+s engross$ all my ?\ghts2 & ,i long$ to be 9 ! _w ( spirits4 ,o h[ happy is x to h all our ?\ghts swall[$ up 9 t _w3 to feel "o's self a /rang] 9 ?is _w1 dilig5tly seek+ a road ?r\gh x1 ! be/1 ! sure road to ! heav5ly ,j]usalem60 ,he w5t =w>d on 8 j\rney1 & aft] t>ry+ two or ?ree days at ,new-,york1 set out f t city t[>d ,new-,hav51 int5d+ to be !re at ! comm5cem5t4 ,"l's day1 ,sept4 #aa4--8;,at ,horse-,neck4 ,9 ! aft]noon ,i prea*$ f ,titus1 #c3h4 ,i ?9k ,god nev] help$ me m 9 pa9t+ true religion1 & 9 detect+ cle>ly1 & t5d]ly disc\nt5anc+ false appe>ances ( religion1 wild fire1 p>ty zeal1 spiritual pride1 c4 z well z a confid5t dogmatical _s1 & its spr+1 viz4 ignorance ( ! he>t4 ,9 ! ev5+ took mu* pa9s 9 private conv]sation to suppress "s confusions :i* ,i p]ceiv$ 7 among t p4 ,sept4 #ac4--8,rode to ,new-,hav54 ,0 sometimes deject$2 n 9 ! sweete/ frame4 ,lodg$ at 999999994 ,_h "s pr(itable ,*ri/ian conv]sation4 ,i f9d1 ?\gh my inw>d trials 7 great1 & a life ( solitude gives !m great] advantage to settle1 & p5etrate to ! v inmo/ recesses ( ! s\l2 yet x is bett] to be alone ?an incumb]$ ) noise & tumult4 ,i f9d x v difficult ma9ta9+ any s5se ( div9e ?+s :ile remov+ f place to place div]t$ ) new objects1 & fill$ ) c>e & bus9ess4 ,a settl$ /eady bus9ess is be/ adapt$ to a life ( /rict religion4 ,sept4 #ad4--8,?is day ,i ought to h tak5 my degree2 b ,god sees fit to d5y x me4 ,& ?\gh ,i 0 greatly afraid ( be+ ov]:elm$ ) p]plexity & confusion1 :5 ,i %\ld see my classmates take !irs2 yet1 at ! v "t1 ,god enabl$ me ) calmness & resignation to say1 8! w ( ! ,"l be done40 ,inde$1 ?r\gh div9e goodness1 ,i h sc>cely felt my m9d s calm1 s$ate1 & com=table = "s "t4 ,i h long fe>$ ?is season1 & expect$ my humility1 meekness1 pati5ce & resignation w\ld be mu* tri$2 b f\nd mu* m pleasure & div9e com=t ?an ,i expect$4 ,felt spiritually s]i\s1 t5d] & affectionate 9 private pray] ) a de> ,*ri/ian fri5d to-day4 ,sept4 #ae4--8;,_h "s satisfaction 9 he>+ ! m9i/]s disc\rse4 ,x is always a com=t to me to he> religi\s & spiritual conv]sation4 ,o t m9i/]s & p 7 m spiritual & devot$ to ,god6 ,t[>d night1 ) ! advice ( ,*ri/ian fri5ds1 ,i (f]$ ! foll[+ reflections 9 writ+1 to ! rector & tru/ees ( ! college--:i* are = sub/ance ! same t ,i _h freely (f]$ to ! rector be=e1 & intreat$ him to accept--t if possible ,i might cut (f all occasion ( (f5ce f ^? :o seek occasion4 ,:at ,i (f]$1 is z foll[s3 8#8,:]eas ,i h said be=e sev]al p]sons1 conc]n+ ,mr4 ,:ittelsey1 "o ( ! tutors ( ,yale ,college1 t ,i did n believe he _h any m grace ?an ! *air ,i !n lean$ ^u2 ,i humbly confess1 t h]e9 ,i h s9n$ aga9/ ,god1 & act$ contr>y to ! rules ( 8 ^w1 & h injur$ ,mr4 ,:ittelsey4 ,i _h no "r to make ?us free ) 8 "*2 & _h no j reason to say z ,i did conc]n+ him4 ,my fault h]e9 0 ! m aggravat$1 9 t ,i said ?is conc]n+ "o :o 0 s mu* my sup]ior1 & "o :om ,i 0 oblig$ to treat ) special respect & honor1 by reason ( ! relation ,i /ood 9 to him 9 ! college4 ,su* a mann] ( behavior ,i confess did n become a ,*ri/ian2 x 0 tak+ too mu* ^u me1 & did n savor ( t humble respect :i* ,i ought to h express$ t[>d ,mr4 ,:ittelsey4 ,i h long s9ce be5 conv9c$ ( ! fals5ess ( ^? appreh5sions1 by :i* ,i !n ju/ifi$ su* a conduct4 ,i h (t5 reflect$ on ?is act ) grief2 ,i hope1 on acc\nt ( ! s9 ( x3 & am will+ to lie l[1 & be abas$ be=e ,god & man = x4 ,i humbly ask ! =giv5ess ( ! gov]nors ( ! college & ( ! :ole society2 b ( ,mr4 ,:ittelsey 9 p>ticul>4 ,& :]eas ,i h be5 accus$ by "o p]son ( say+ conc]n+ ! rev]5d rector ( ,yale ,college1 t ,i wond]$ he did n expect to drop d[n dead = f9+ ! s*ol>s t foll[$ ,mr4 ,t5n5t to ,mil=d2 ,i s]i\sly pr(ess t ,i d n rememb] my say+ any ?+ to ?is purpose3 b if ,i did1 :i* ,i am n c]ta9 ,i did n1 ,i utt]ly condemn x1 & dete/ all su* k9d ( behavior2 & especially 9 an "u-graduate t[>d ! rector4 ,& ,i n[ appe> to judge & condemn myself = go+ once to ! sep>ate meet+ 9 ,new-,hav51 a little be=e ,i 0 expell$1 ?\gh ! rector _h refus$ to give me leave4 ,= ?is ,i humbly ask ! rector's =giv5ess4 ,& :e!r ! gov]nors ( ! college %all ev] see cause to remove ! academical c5sure ,i lie "u1 or no1 or to admit me to ! privileges ,i desire2 yet ,i am will+ to appe>1 if !y ?9k fit1 op5ly to own1 & to humble myself = ^? ?+s ,i h h]e9 confess$4'0 8,god has made me will+ to d any ?+ t ,i c d consi/5tly ) tru?1 = ! sake ( peace1 & t ,i might n be a /umbl+ block to o!rs4 ,= ?is reason ,i c *e]fully =ego & give up :at ,i v]ily believe1 aft] ! mo/ mature & imp>tial se>*1 is my "r1 9 "s in/ances4 ,god has giv5 me ! disposition1 t1 if a man has done me a hundr$ injuries1 & ,i 7?\gh ev] s mu* provok$ to x7 h done him only "o1 ,i feel dispos$ & he>tily will+ humbly to confess my fault to him1 & on my knees to ask =giv5ess ( him2 ?\gh at ! same "t he %\ld ju/ify himself 9 all ! injuries he has done me1 & %\ld only make use ( my humble confession to black5 my "* ! m1 & repres5t me z ! only p]son guilty2 yea1 ?\gh he %\ld z x 7 insult me1 & say1 8he knew all ?is be=e1 & t ,i 0 mak+ "w = rep5tance40 ,?\gh :at ,i said conc]n+ ,mr4 ,:ittelsey 0 only spok5 9 private1 to a fri5d or two2 & be+ p>tly ov]he>d1 0 relat$ to ! rector1 & by him extort$ f my fri5ds2 yet1 see+ x 0 divulg$ & made public1 ,i 0 will+ to confess my fault !re9 publicly4 ,b ,i tru/ ,god w plead my cause40 ,i 0 witness to ! v ,*ri/ian _s :i* ,bra9]d %[$ at t "t2 be+ !n at ,new-,hav51 & "o :om he ?\ght fit to consult on t occasion4 ,?is 0 my fir/ opportunity ( a p]sonal acqua9tance ) him4 ,!re truly appe>$ 9 him a great degree ( calmness & humility1 )\t ! lea/ appe>ance ( ris+ ( _s = any ill treatm5t :i* he suppos$ he _h suff]$1 or ! lea/ backw>dness to abase himself be=e !m :o1 z he ?\ght1 _h wrong$ him4 ,:at he did 0 )\t any objection or appe>ance ( reluctance1 ev5 9 private to 8 fri5ds1 to :om he freely op5$ himself4 ,e>ne/ application 0 made on 8 behalf to ! au?ority ( ! college1 t he might h 8 degree !n giv5 him2 & p>ticul>ly by ! ,rev4 ,mr4 ,burr ( ,new>k1 "o ( ! correspond5ts ( ! society 9 ,scotl&2 he be+ s5t f ,new-,j]sey to ,new-,hav51 by ! re/ ( ! commission]s1 = t end2 & _m argum5ts 7 us$1 b )\t success4 ,inde$1 ! gov]nors ( ! college 7 s f> satisfi$ ) ! reflections :i* ,bra9]d _h made on himself1 t !y appe>$ will+ to admit him aga9 into college2 b n to give him 8 degree1 till he %\ld h rema9$ !re at lea/ twelve mon?s1 :i* be+ contr>y to :at ! correspond5ts1 to :om he 0 n[ engag$1 _h decl>$ to be _! m9d1 he did n cons5t to x4 ,he desir$ 8 degree1 z he ?\ght x w\ld t5d to 8 be+ m ext5sively useful2 b /ill :5 he 0 d5i$ x1 he manife/$ no disappo9tm5t or res5tm5t4 ,sept4 #bj4--8;,at ,be?lehem4 ,_h ?\ghts ( go+ =w>d on my j\rney to my ,indians2 b t[>d night 0 tak5 ) a h>d pa9 9 my tee?1 & %iv]+ cold2 & c\ld n possibly recov] a com=table degree ( w>m? ! :ole night foll[+ ,i cont9u$ v full ( pa9 all night2 & 9 ! morn+ _h a v h>d fev]1 & pa9s almo/ ov] my :ole body4 ,i _h a s5se ( ! div9e goodness 9 appo9t+ ?is to be ! place ( my sickness1 among my fri5ds1 :o 7 v k9d to me4 ,i %\ld probably h p]i%$ if ,i _h fir/ got home to my own h\se 9 ! wild]ness1 :]e ,i h none to conv]se ) b ! poor1 rude1 ignorant ,indians4 ,"h1 ,i saw1 0 m]cy 9 ! mid/ ( affliction4 ,i cont9u$ ?us1 mo/ly conf9$ to my b$1 till ,friday night2 v full ( pa9 mo/ ( ! "t2 b1 ?r\gh div9e goodness1 n afraid ( dea?4 ,!n ,i saw ! extreme folly ( ^? :o put (f _! turn+ to ,god till a sick b$4 ,surely ?is is n a "t prop] to prep>e = et]nity4 ,on ,friday ev5+ my pa9s w5t (f some:at sudd5ly4 ,i 0 exce$+ly weak1 & almo/ fa9t$2 b 0 v com=table ! night foll[+4 ,i ?\ght we 7 to prize ! cont9uation ( life1 only on ?is acc\nt1 t we may 8%[ =? ,god's goodness & works ( grace40 ,oct4 #d4--8,?is day rode home to my own h\se & p4 ,! poor ,indians appe>$ v glad ( my return4 ,f\nd my h\se & all ?+s 9 safety1 ,i pres5tly fell on my knees1 & bless$ ,god = my safe return4 ,i h tak5 _m consid]able j\rnies s9ce ?is "t la/ ye>1 & yet ,god has nev] suff]$ "o ( my bones to be brok51 or any di/ress+ calamity to befal me1 except+ ! ill turn ,i _h 9 my la/ j\rney4 ,i h be5 (t5 expos$ to cold & hung] 9 ! wild]ness1 :]e ! com=ts ( life 7 n to be _h2 h frequ5tly be5 lo/ 9 ! woods2 & sometimes oblig$ to ride mu* ( ! night2 & once lay out 9 ! woods all night2 yet bless$ be ,god1 he has pres]v$ me6 ,nov4 #c4--8,sp5t ?is day 9 secret fa/+ & pray]1 f morn+ till night4 ,e>ly 9 ! morn+ ,i _h "s small degree ( assi/ance 9 pray]4 ,aft]w>d read ! /ory ( ,elijah ! prophet1 #a ,k+s1 #ag?1 #ah?1 & #ai? *apt]s2 & also #b ,k+s1 #b;d1 & #d? *apt]s4 ,my s\l 0 mu* mov$1 obs]v+ ! fai?1 zeal1 & p[] ( t holy man2 h[ he wre/l$ ) ,god 9 pray]1 c4 ,my s\l !n cri$ ) ,eli%a1 8,:]e is ! ,"l ,god ( ,elijah60 ,o ,i long$ = m fai?6 ,my s\l brea!d aft] ,god1 & plead$ ) him1 t a 8d\ble portion ( t _s0 :i* 0 giv5 to ,elijah1 might 8re/ on me40 ,& t :i* 0 div9ely refre%+ & /r5g!n+ to my s\l1 01 ,i saw t ,god is ! same t he 0 9 ! days ( ,elijah4 ,0 enabl$ to wre/le ) ,god by pray]1 9 a m affectionate1 f]v5t1 humble1 int5se1 & importunate mann]1 ?an ,i h = _m mon?s pa/4 ,no?+ seem$ too h>d = ,god to p]=m2 no?+ too great = me to hope = f him4 ,i _h = _m mon?s entirely lo/ all hope ( be+ made in/rum5tal ( do+ any special s]vice = ,god 9 ! _w2 x has appe>$ entirely impossible1 t "o s vile %\ld be ?us employ$ = ,god4 ,b at ?is "t ,god 0 pleas$ to revive ?is hope4 ,aft]w>d read f ! #c;d *apt] ( ,exodus to ! #bj?1 & saw m ( ! glory & maje/y ( ,god discov]$ 9 ^? *apt]s ?an ev] ,i _h se5 be=e2 frequ5tly 9 ! mean "t fall+ on my knees & cry+ to ,god = ! fai? ( ,moses1 & = a manife/ation ( ! div9e glory4 ,especially ! #c;d1 #d?1 & "p ( ! #ad? & #ae? *apt]s 7 unspeakably sweet to my s\l3 my s\l bless$ ,god t he _h %[n himself s graci\s to 8 s]vants ( old4 ,! #ae? *apt] seem$ to be ! v language :i* my s\l utt]$ to ,god 9 ! season ( my fir/ spiritual com=t1 :5 ,i _h j got ?r\gh ! ,r$ ,sea1 by a way t ,i _h no expectation (4 ,o h[ my s\l !n rejoic$ 9 ,god6 ,& n[ ^? ?+s came fre% & lively to my m9d2 n[ my s\l bless$ ,god afre% t he _h op5$ t un?\ght ( way to deliv] me f ! fe> ( ! ,egyptians1 :5 ,i almo/ despair$ ( life4 ,aft]w>d read ! /ory ( ,abraham's pilgrimage 9 ! l& ( ,canaan4 ,my s\l 0 melt$1 9 obs]v+ 8 fai?1 h[ he lean$ on ,god2 h[ he commun$ ) ,god2 & :at a /rang] he 0 "h 9 ! _w4 ,aft] t1 read ! /ory ( ,joseph's suff]+s1 & ,god's goodness to him3 bless$ ,god = ^! examples ( fai? & pati5ce4 ,my s\l 0 ard5t 9 pray]1 0 enabl$ to wre/le ard5tly = myself1 = ,*ri/ian fri5ds1 & = ! *ur* ( ,god2 & felt m desire to see ! p[] ( ,god 9 ! conv]sion ( s\ls1 ?an ,i h done = a long season4 ,bless$ be ,god = ?is season ( fa/+ & pray]6--,may 8 goodness always abide ) me1 & draw my s\l to him6 ,nov4 #aj4--8,sp5t ?is day 9 fa/+ & pray] alone4 ,9 ! morn+ 0 v dull & lifeless1 melan*oly & disc\rag$4 ,b aft] "s "t1 :ile read+ #b ,k+s1 #ai1 my s\l 0 mov$ & affect$2 especially read+ v]se #ad1 & onw>d4 ,i saw !re 0 no o!r way = ! afflict$ *ildr5 ( ,god to take1 b to g to ,god ) all _! sorr[s4 ,hezekiah1 9 8 great di/ress1 w5t & spread 8 compla9t be=e ! ,"l4 ,i 0 !n enabl$ to see ! mighty p[] ( ,god1 & my extreme ne$ ( t p[]2 & to cry to him affectionately & ard5tly = 8 p[] & grace to be ex]cis$ t[>d me4 ,aft]w>d1 read ! /ory ( ,david's trials1 & obs]v$ ! c\rse he took "u !m1 h[ he /r5g!n$ 8 h&s 9 ,god2 :]eby my s\l 0 c>ri$ out aft] ,god1 enabl$ to cry to him1 & rely ^u him1 & felt /rong 9 ! ,"l4 ,0 aft]w>d refre%$1 obs]v+ ! bless$ temp] t 0 wr\ght 9 ,david by 8 trials3 all bitt]ness1 & desire ( rev5ge1 seem$ :olly tak5 away2 s t he m\rn$ = ! dea? ( 8 enemies4 #b ,sam4 #a3ag1 & #d3i-ab4 ,0 enabl$ to bless ,god t he _h giv5 me some?+ ( ?is div9e temp]1 t my s\l freely =gives1 & he>tily loves my enemies4 ,nov4 #bi4--8;,began to /udy ! ,indian tongue1 ) ,mr4 ,s]geant1 at ,/ockbridge4,e ,0 p]plex$ = want ( m retirem5t4 ,i love to live alone 9 my own little cottage1 :]e ,i c sp5d mu* "t 9 pray]1 c4 ,footnote ,e3 ,! commission]s :o employ$ him1 _h direct$ him to sp5d mu* "t ?is w9t] ) ,mr4 ,s]geant1 to le>n ! language ( ! ,indians2 :i* necessitat$ him v (t5 to ride backw>d & =w>d1 tw5ty miles ?r\gh ! un9habit$ woods betwe5 ,/ockbridge & ,kaunaumeek2 :i* _m times expos$ him to extreme h>d%ip 9 ! sev]e seasons ( ! w9t]4 ,dec4 #bb4--8,sp5t ?is day alone 9 fa/+ & pray]1 & read+ 9 ,god's ^w ! ex]cises & deliv]ances ( 8 *ildr54 ,_h1 ,i tru/1 "s ex]cise ( fai?1 & realiz+ appreh5sion ( div9e p[]1 grace1 & hol9ess2 & also ( ! un*angeabl5ess ( ,god1 t he is ! same z :5 he deliv]$ 8 sa9ts ( old out ( great tribulation4 ,my s\l 0 sundry times 9 pray] enl>g$ = ,god's *ur* & p4 ,o t ,zion might become ! 8joy ( ! :ole e>?60 ,x is bett] to wait ^u ,god ) pati5ce1 ?an to put confid5ce 9 any ?+ 9 ?is l[] _w4 8,my s\l1 wait ?\ on ! ,"l20 = 8f him comes ?y salvation40 ,"l's day1 ,jan4 #a1 #agdd4--8;,9 ! morn+ _h "s small degree ( assi/ance 9 pray]4 ,saw myself s vile & unwor?y t ,i c\ld n look my p 9 ! face :5 ,i came to prea*4 ,o my meanness1 folly1 ignorance1 & inw>d pollution6--,9 ! ev5+ _h a little assi/ance 9 pray]1 s t ! duty 0 delightful1 r ?an burd5some4 ,reflect$ on ! goodness ( ,god to me 9 ! pa/ ye>1 c4 ,( a tru? ,god has be5 k9d & graci\s to me1 ?\gh he has caus$ me to pass ?r\gh _m sorr[s2 he has provid$ = me b\ntifully1 s t ,i h be5 enabl$1 9 ab\t fifte5 mon?s pa/1 to be/[ to *>itable uses ab\t an hundr$ p\nds ,new-,engl& money1 t ,i c n[ rememb]4 ,bless$ be ! ,"l t has s f> us$ me z 8 /ew>d1 to di/ribute a portion ( 8 goods4 ,may ,i always rememb]1 t all ,i h comes f ,god4 ,bless$ be ! ,"l1 t has c>ri$ me ?r\gh all ! toils1 fatigues & h>d%ips ( ! ye> pa/1 z well z ! spiritual sorr[s & conflicts t h att5d$ x4 ,o t ,i c\ld beg9 ?is ye> ) ,god1 & sp5d ! :ole ( x to 8 glory1 ei!r 9 life or dea?6 ,jan4 #c4--8,0 employ$ mu* ( ! day 9 writ+2 & sp5t "s "t 9 o!r necess>y employm5t4 ,b my "t passes away s swiftly1 t ,i am a/oni%$ :5 ,i reflect on x1 & see h[ little ,i d4 ,my /ate ( solitude does n make ! h\rs hang heavy ^u my h&s4 ,o :at reason ( ?ankfulness h ,i on acc\nt ( ?is retirem5t6 ,i f9d t ,i d n1 & x seems ,i _c1 lead a ,*ri/ian life :5 ,i am abroad1 & _c sp5d "t 9 devotion1 ,*ri/ian conv]sation1 & s]i\s m$itation1 z ,i %\ld d4 ,^? weeks t ,i am oblig$ n[ to be f home1 9 ord] to le>n ! ,indian tongue1 are mo/ly sp5t 9 p]plexity & b>r5ness1 )\t mu* sweet reli% ( div9e ?+s2 & ,i feel myself a /rang] at ! ?rone ( grace = want ( m frequ5t & cont9u$ retirem5t4 ,:5 ,i return home & give myself to m$itation1 pray]1 & fa/+1 a new sc5e op5s to my m9d1 & my s\l longs = mortification1 self-d5ial1 humility1 & divorcem5t f all ?+s ( ! _w4 ,?is ev5+ my he>t 0 some:at w>m & f]v5t 9 pray] & m$itation1 s t ,i 0 lo? to indulge sleep4 ,cont9u$ 9 ^? duties till ab\t midnight4 ,jan4 #f4--8;,feel+ my extreme weakness1 & want ( grace1 ! pollution ( my s\l1 & dang] ( temptations on e side1 ,i set ap>t ?is day = fa/+ & pray]1 nei!r eat+ nor dr9k+ f ev5+ to ev5+1 besee*+ ,god to h m]cy on me4 ,my s\l int5sely long$ t ! dreadful spots & /a9s ( s9 might be wa%$ away f x4 ,saw some?+ ( ! p[] & all-suffici5cy ( ,god4 ,my s\l seem$ to re/ on 8 p[] & grace2 long$ = resignation to 8 w1 & mortification to all ?+s "h bel[4 ,my m9d 0 greatly fix$ on div9e ?+s3 my resolutions = a life ( mortification1 cont9ual wat*fulness1 self-d5ial1 s]i\sness & devotion1 7 /rong & fix$2 my desires ard5t & int5se2 my consci5ce t5d]1 & afraid ( e appe>ance ( evil4 ,my s\l griev$ ) reflection on pa/ levity1 & want ( resolution = ,god4 ,i solemnly r5ew$ my d$ication ( myself to ,god1 & long$ = grace to enable me always to keep cov5ant ) him4 ,"t appe>$ v %ort1 et]nity ne> & a great "n1 ei!r 9 or aft] life1 toge!r ) all e>?ly pleasures & pr(its1 b an empty bubble1 a delud+ dream4 ,jan4 #g4 8,sp5t ?is day 9 s]i\sness1 ) /eadfa/ resolutions = ,god1 & a life ( mortification4 ,/udi$ closely1 till ,i felt my bodily /r5g? fail4 ,felt "s degree ( resignation to ,god1 ) an acquiesc5ce 9 8 disp5sations4 ,0 griev$ t ,i c\ld d s little = ,god be=e my bodily /r5g? fail$4 ,9 ! ev5+1 ?\gh tir$1 0 enabl$ to cont9ue in/ant 9 pray] = "s "t4 ,sp5t ! "t 9 read+1 m$itation1 & pray]1 till ! ev5+ 0 f> sp5t3 0 griev$ to ?9k t ,i c\ld n wat* unto pray] ! :ole night4 ,b bless$ be ,god1 heav5 is a place ( cont9ual & incessant devotion ?\gh ! e>? is dull4 ,jan4 #ad4 8,?is morn+1 enjoy$ a mo/ solemn season 9 pray]3 my s\l seem$ enl>g$ & assi/$ to p\r out itself to ,god = grace1 & = e bless+ ,i want$ = myself1 = de> ,*ri/ian fri5ds1 & = ! *ur* ( ,god2 & 0 s enabl$ to 8see ,him :o is invisible10 t my s\l re/$ ^u him = ! p]=mance ( e ?+ ,i ask$ agreeable to 8 w4 ,x 0 !n my happ9ess to #8cont9ue in/ant 9 pray]1' & ,i 0 enabl$ to cont9ue 9 x = ne> an h\r4 ,my s\l 0 !n 8/rong 9 ! ,"l1 & 9 ! p[] ( 8 might40 ,long$ exce$+ly = an angelic hol9ess & purity1 & to h all my ?\ghts1 at all times1 employ$ 9 div9e & heav5ly ?+s4 ,felt ! same div9e assi/ance 9 pray] sundry times 9 ! day4 ,my s\l confid$ 9 ,god = myself1 & = 8 ,zion3 tru/$ 9 div9e p[] & grace1 t he w\ld d glori\s ?+s 9 8 *ur* on e>?1 = 8 own glory4 ,feb4 #c4 8,enjoy$ m fre$om & com=t ?an ( late2 0 engag$ 9 m$itation ^u ! diff]5t :isp]s ( ! v>i\s p[]s & affections ( a pi\s m9d1 ex]cis$ ) a great v>iety ( disp5sations2 & c\ld n b write1 z well z m$itate1 on s ent]ta9+ a subject4 ,i hope ! ,"l gave me "s true s5se ( div9e ?+s ?is day2 b alas1 h[ great & press+ are ! rema9s ( indwell+ corruption6 ,i am n[ m s5sible ?an ev]1 t ,god alone is 8! au?or & f9i%] ( our fai?10 i4 e4 t ! :ole & e "p ( sanctification1 & e good ^w1 "w1 or ?\ght1 f\nd 9 me1 is ! effect ( 8 p[] & grace2 t 8)\t him ,i c d no?+10 9 ! /ricte/ s5se1 & t1 8he works 9 u to w & to d ( 8 own good pleasure10 & f no o!r motive4 ,o h[ amaz+ x is t p c talk s mu* ab\t m5's p[] & goodness1 :5 if ,god did n hold u back e mom5t1 we %\ld be devils inc>nate6 ,?is my bitt] exp]i5ce1 = sev]al days la/ pa/1 has abundantly taught me conc]n+ myself4 ,feb4 #g4 8,my s\l felt & ta/$ t ! ,"l is graci\s2 t he is ! supreme good1 ! only s\l-satisfy+ happ9ess2 t he is a complete1 suffici5t1 & almighty portion4 ,! language ( my he>t 01 8,:om h ,i 9 heav5 b !e8 & !re is none ^u e>? t ,i desire beside !e40 ,o1 ,i feel t x is heav5 to please him1 & to be j :at he w\ld h me to be6 ,o t my s\l 7 8holy1 z he is holy60 ,o t x 7 8pure1 ev5 z ,*ri/ is pure20 & 8p]fect1 z my ,fa!r 9 heav5 is p]fect60 ,^! ,i feel are ! sweete/ comm&s 9 ,god's book1 compris+ all o!rs4 ,& %all ,i break !m6 mu/ ,i break !m6 am ,i "u ! necessity ( x z long z ,i live 9 ! _w6 ,o my s\l1 wo1 wo is me1 t ,i am a s9n]1 :o cont9ually grieve & (f5d ?is bless$ ,god1 inf9ite 9 goodness & grace6 ,o me?9ks if he w\ld puni% me = my s9s1 x w\ld n w\nd my he>t s deep to (f5d him2 b ?\gh ,i s9 cont9ually1 yet he cont9ually repeats 8 k9dness to me6 ,o me?9ks ,i c\ld be> any suff]+s2 b h[ c ,i be> to grieve & di%onor ?is bless$ ,god6 ,h[ %all ,i yield t5 ?\s& times m honor to him8 ,:at %all ,i d to glorify & wor%ip ?is be/ ( be+s8 ,o t ,i c\ld consecrate myself1 s\l & body1 to 8 s]vice = ev]6 ,o t ,i c\ld give up myself to him1 s z nev] m to attempt to be my own1 or to h any w or affections t are n p]fectly con=m$ to him6 ,b1 alas6 ,i f9d ,i _c be ?us entirely devot$ to ,god2 ,i _c live1 & n s94 ,o ye angels1 d ye glorify him incessantly2 & if possible1 pro/rate y\rselves l[] be=e ! bless$ ,k+ ( heav56 ,i long to be> a "p ) y2 &1 if x 7 possible1 to help y4 ,o :5 we h done all t we c1 to all et]nity1 we %all n be able to (f] ! t5 ?\s&? "p ( ! homage :i* ! glori\s ,god des]ves6 ,m>* #c4 8,9 ! morn+1 sp5t 7,i believe7 an h\r 9 pray]1 ) great int5s5ess & fre$om1 & ) ! mo/ s(t & t5d] affection t[>d all mank9d4 ,i long$ t ^? :o1 ,i h reason to ?9k1 owe me ill w1 might be et]nally happy4 ,x seem$ refre%+ to ?9k ( meet+ !m 9 heav51 h[ mu* soev] !y _h injur$ me on e>?3 _h no disposition to insi/ ^u any confession f !m1 9 ord] to reconciliation1 & ! ex]cise ( love & k9dness to !m4 ,o x is an emblem ( heav5 itself1 to love all ! _w ) a love ( k9dness1 =giv5ess1 & b5evol5ce2 to feel our s\ls s$ate1 mild1 & meek2 to be void ( all evil surmis+s & suspicions1 & sc>ce able to ?9k evil ( any man ^u any occasion2 to f9d our he>ts simple1 op51 & free1 to ^? t look ^u u ) a diff]5t eye6--,pray] 0 s sweet an ex]cise to me1 t ,i knew n h[ to cease1 le/ ,i %\ld lose ! _s ( pray]4 ,felt no disposition to eat or dr9k1 = ! sake ( ! pleasure ( x1 b only to support my nature1 & fit me = div9e s]vice4 ,c\ld n be cont5t )\t a v p>ticul> m5tion ( a great numb] ( de> fri5ds at ! ?rone ( grace2 z also ! p>ticul> circum/ances ( _m1 z f> z !y 7 kn[n4 ,m>* #aj4 8,9 ! morn+1 felt exce$+ dead to ! _w1 & all its enjoym5ts4 ,i ?\ght ,i 0 ready & will+ to give up life & all its com=ts1 z soon z call$ to x2 & yet !n _h z mu* com=t ( life z almo/ ev] ,i _h4 ,i long$ to be p]petually & entirely crucifi$ to all ?+s "h bel[1 by ! cross ( ,*ri/4 ,my s\l 0 sweetly resign$ to ,god's disposal ( me1 9 e reg>d2 & ,i saw t no?+ _h happ5$ b :at 0 be/ = me4 ,i confid$ 9 ,god1 t he w\ld nev] leave me1 ?\gh ,i %\ld 8walk ?r\gh ! valley ( ! %ad[ ( dea?40 ,x 0 !n my meat & dr9k to be holy1 to live to ! ,"l1 & die to ! ,"l4 ,& ,i ?\ght t ,i !n enjoy$ su* a heav5 z f> exce$$ ! mo/ sublime conceptions ( an unreg5]ate s\l2 & ev5 unspeakably beyond :at ,i myself c\ld conceive ( at ano!r "t4 ,i did n wond] t ,pet] said1 8,"l1 x is good to be "h10 :5 ?us refre%$ ) div9e glories4 ,my s\l 0 full ( love & t5d]ness 9 ! duty ( int]cession2 especially felt a mo/ sweet affection to "s preci\s godly m9i/]s1 ( my acqua9tance4 ,pray$ e>ne/ly = de> ,*ri/ians1 & = ^? ,i h reason to fe> are my enemies2 & c\ld n h spok5 a ^w ( bitt]ness1 or ent]ta9$ a bitt] ?\ght1 aga9/ ! vile/ man liv+4 ,_h a s5se ( my own great unwor?9ess4 ,my s\l seem$ to brea! =? love & praise to ,god afre%1 :5 ,i ?\ght he w\ld let 8 *ildr5 love & receive me z "o ( _! bre?r5 & fell[ citiz5s4 ,:5 ,i ?\ght ( _! treat+ me 9 t mann]1 ,i long$ to lie at _! feet2 & c\ld ?9k ( no way to express ! s9c]ity & simplicity ( my love & e/eem ( !m1 z be+ mu* bett] ?an myself4 ,"l's day1 ,m>* #aa4 8,my s\l 0 9 "s measure /r5g!n$ 9 ,god1 9 morn+ devotion2 s t ,i 0 releas$ f trembl+ fe> & di/ress4 ,prea*$ to my p f ! p>able ( ! s[]1 ,matt4 #ac1 & enjoy$ "s assi/ance bo? p>ts ( ! day1 _h "s fre$om1 affection1 & f]v5cy 9 address+ my poor p2 long$ t ,god %\ld take hold ( _! he>ts1 & make !m spiritually alive4 ,& inde$ ,i _h s mu* to say to !m1 t ,i knew n h[ to leave (f speak+40 ,?is 0 ! la/ ,sabba? 9 :i* he ev] p]=m$ public s]vice at ,kaunaumeek1 & ^! ! la/ s]mons :i* he ev] prea*$ to ! ,indians !re4 ,! me?ods he adopt$ = _! salvation1 he ?us describes 9 a lett] to ,rev4 ,mr4 ,pemb]ton ( ,new-,york4 8,9 my labors ) !m1 9 ord] to 8turn !m f d>kness to light10 ,i /udi$ :at 0 mo/ pla9 & easy1 & be/ suit$ to _! capacities2 & endeavor$ to set be=e !m f "t to "t1 z !y 7 able to receive !m1 ! mo/ important & necess>y tru?s ( ,*ri/ianity2 su* z mo/ imm$iately conc]n$ _! spe$y conv]sion to ,god1 & su* z ,i judg$ _h ! greate/ t5d5cy1 z means1 to effect t glori\s *ange 9 !m4 ,b especially ,i made x ! scope & drift ( all my labors1 to lead !m into a ?or\gh acqua9tance ) ^! two ?+s3 7#a47 ,! s9fulness & mis]y ( ! e/ate !y 7 naturally 92 ! evil ( _! he>ts1 ! pollution ( _! natures2 ! heavy guilt !y 7 "u1 & _! expos$ness to ev]la/+ puni%m5t2 z also _! utt] inability to save !mselves1 ei!r f _! s9s1 or f ^? mis]ies :i* are ! j puni%m5t ( !m2 & _! unwor?9ess ( any m]cy at ! h& ( ,god1 on acc\nt ( any ?+ !y !mselves c\ld d to procure 8 favor1 & consequ5tly _! extreme ne$ ( ,*ri/ to save !m4 ,&1 7#b47 ,i frequ5tly endeavor$ to op5 to !m ! fullness1 all-suffici5cy1 & fre5ess ( t r$emption :i* ! ,son ( ,god has wr\ght out by 8 ob$i5ce & suff]+s1 = p]i%+ s9n]s3 h[ ?is provision he _h made 0 suit$ to all _! wants2 & h[ he call$ & invit$ !m to accept ( ev]la/+ life freely1 not)/&+ all _! s9fulness4 8,aft] ,i _h be5 ) ! ,indians sev]al mon?s1 ,i compos$ sundry =ms ( pray]1 adapt$ to _! circum/ances & capacities2 :i*1 ) ! help ( my int]pret]1 ,i translat$ into ! ,indian language2 & soon le>n$ to pron\nce _! words1 s z to pray ) !m 9 _! own tongue4 ,i also translat$ sundry psalms into _! language1 & soon aft] we 7 able to s+ 9 ! wor%ip ( ,god4 8,:5 my p _h ga9$ "s acqua9tance ) _m ( ! simple/ tru?s ( ,*ri/ianity1 s t !y 7 capable ( receiv+ & und]/&+ o!rs1 ,i gave !m an hi/orical acc\nt ( ,god's deal+s ) 8 anci5t pr(ess+ p1 ! ,jews2 "s ( ! rites & c]emonies !y 7 oblig$ to obs]ve1 z _! sacrifices1 c42 & :at ^! 7 design$ to repres5t to !m2 z also "s ( ! surpris+ miracles ,god wr\ght = _! salvation1 :ile !y tru/$ 9 him2 & sore puni%m5ts he sometimes br\ght ^u !m1 :5 !y =sook & s9n$ aga9/ him4 ,aft]w>d ,i proce$$ to give !m a relation ( ! bir?1 life1 miracles1 suff]+s1 dea?1 & resurrection ( ,*ri/2 z well z 8 asc5sion1 & ! wond]ful effusion ( ! ,holy ,_s consequ5t !reupon4 8,& hav+ ?us endeavor$ to prep>e ! way by su* a g5]al acc\nt ( ?+s1 ,i next proce$$ to read & exp\nd to !m ! ,gospel ( ,/4 ,mat!w 7at lea/ ! sub/ance ( x7 9 c\rse1 :]e9 !y _h a m di/9ct & p>ticul> view ( :at !y _h _h be=e "s g5]al notion4 ,^! expositions ,i att5d$ almo/ e ev5+1 :5 !re 0 any consid]able numb] ( !m at home2 except :5 ,i 0 oblig$ to be abs5t myself1 9 ord] to le>n ! ,indian language ) ! ,rev4 ,mr4 ,s]geant4 ,besides ^! means ( in/ruction1 !re 0 likewise an ,engli% s*ool con/antly kept by my int]pret] among ! ,indians2 :i* ,i us$ frequ5tly to visit1 9 ord] to give ! *ildr5 & "y p "s prop] in/ructions1 & s]i\s exhortations suit$ to _! age4 8,! degree ( k to :i* "s ( !m atta9$ 0 consid]able4 ,_m ( ! tru?s ( ,*ri/ianity seem$ fix$ 9 _! m9ds1 especially 9 "s in/ances1 s t !y w\ld speak to me ( !m1 & ask su* que/ions ab\t !m z 7 necess>y to r5d] !m m pla9 & cle> to _! und]/&+s4 ,! *ildr51 also1 & "y p1 :o att5d$ ! s*ool1 made consid]able pr(ici5cy 7at lea/ "s ( !m7 9 _! le>n+2 s t _h !y und]/ood ! ,engli% language well1 !y w\ld h be5 able to read some:at readily 9 a psalt]4 8,b t :i* 0 mo/ ( all desirable1 & gave me ! greate/ enc\ragem5t amid/ _m difficulties & disconsolate h\rs1 01 t ! tru?s ( ,god's ^w seem$1 at times1 to be att5d$ ) "s p[] ^u ! he>ts & consci5ces ( ! ,indians4 ,& especially ?is appe>$ evid5t 9 a few individuals1 :o 7 awak5$ to "s s5se ( _! mis]able e/ate by nature1 & appe>$ solicit\s = deliv]ance f x4 ,sev]al ( !m came1 ( _! own accord to disc\rse ) me ab\t _! s\l's conc]ns2 & "s1 ) te>s1 inquir$ :at !y %\ld d to be sav$80 ,! ,indians at ,kaunaumeek be+ b few 9 numb] & ,bra9]d hav+ be5 labor+ among !m ab\t a ye>1 & hav+ prevail$ ^u !m to be will+ to leave ,kaunaumeek1 & remove to ,/ockbridge1 to live con/antly "u ,mr4 ,s]geant's m9i/ry2 he ?\ght he might n[ d m s]vice = ,*ri/ among ! ,indians else:]e3 & !re=e w5t to ,new-,j]sey1 & laid ! matt] be=e ! ,commission]s2 :o met at ,elizabe?-,t[n1 on ! occasion1 & det]m9$ t he %\ld =?) leave ,kaunaumeek1 & g to ! ,delaw>e ,indians4 ,by ! invitations :i* ,bra9]d _h lately receiv$1 x appe>s1 t x 0 n f necessity1 or = want ( opportunities to settle 9 ! m9i/ry1 t he det]m9$ to =sake all ! outw>d com=ts1 he might ?us h enjoy$1 to sp5d 8 life among savages1 & endure ! difficulties & self-d5ials ( an ,indian mission4 ,he _h1 j z he 0 leav+ ,kaunaumeek1 _h an e>ne/ invitation to a settlem5t at ,ea/-,hampton1 "o ( ! pleasante/ t[ns on ,long-,isl&4 ,! p !re 7 unanim\s 9 _! desires to h him = _! pa/or1 & = a long "t cont9u$ 9 e>ne/ pursuit ( him1 & 7 h>dly br\ght to rel9qui% _! endeavors1 & give up _! hopes ( obta9+ him4 ,besides ?is1 he _h an invitation to prea* ) ref]5ce to a settlem5t 9 ,mill+ton1 ne> 8 native t[n1 & 9 ! mid/ ( 8 fri5ds4 ,nor did ,bra9]d *oose ! bus9ess ( a mission>y to ! ,indians1 r ?an accept ( ^? invitations1 because he 0 unacqua9t$ ) ! difficulties & suff]+s :i* att5d$ su* a s]vice2 = he _h _h exp]i5ce ( ^! difficulties 9 summ] & w9t]2 hav+ sp5t ab\t a ye> 9 a lonely des]t among ^! savages1 :]e he _h gone ?r\gh extreme h>d%ips1 & be5 ! subject ( a tra9 ( outw>d & inw>d sorr[s1 :i* 7 n[ fre% 9 8 m9d4 ,aft] ?is he cont9u$ two or ?ree days 9 ,new-,j]sey1 v ill2 & !n return$ to ,new-,york2 & f !nce into ,new-,engl&2 & w5t to 8 native t[n ( ,haddam1 :]e he arriv$ on ,saturday1 ,april #ad4 ,& he cont9ues /ill 8 bitt] compla9ts ( want ( retirem5t4 ,:ile he 0 9 ,new-,york1 he says ?us1 8,o x is n ! pleasures ( ! _w :i* c com=t me6 ,if ,god d5y 8 pres5ce1 :at are ! pleasures ( ! city to me8 ,"o h\r ( sweet retirem5t :]e ,god is1 is bett] ?an ! :ole _w40 ,april #ag4--8;,9 ! ev5+1 at my bro!r's1 s++ hymns ) fri5ds1 my s\l seem$ to melt2 & 9 pray] aft]w>d1 enjoy$ ! ex]cise ( fai?1 & 0 enabl$ to be f]v5t 9 _s3 f\nd m ( ,god's pres5ce ?an ,i h done any "t 9 my late we>isome j\rney4 ,et]nity appe>$ v ne>2 my nature 0 v weak1 & seem$ ready to be dissolv$2 ! sun decl9+1 & ! %ad[s ( ! ev5+ draw+ on apace4 ,o ,i long$ to fill up ! rema9+ mom5ts all = ,god6 ,?\gh my body 0 s feeble1 & we>i$ ) prea*+ & mu* private conv]sation1 yet ,i want$ to sit up all night to d some?+ = ,god4 ,to ,god1 ! giv] ( ^! refre%m5ts1 be glory = ev] & ev]4 ,am54 ,april #ah4--8,0 v weak1 & enjoy$ b little spiritual com=t4 ,0 ex]cis$ ) "o :o cavill$ aga9/ orig9al s94 ,may ! ,"l op5 8 eyes to see ! f\nta9 ( s9 9 himself60 ,aft] ?is he visit$ sev]al m9i/]s 9 ,connecticut2 & !n travell$ t[>ds ,kaunaumeek1 & came to ,mr4 ,s]geant's1 at ,/ockbridge1 ,?ursday1 ,april #bf1 hav+ p]=m$ ! j\rney 9 a v weak /ate ( body4 ,april #bg & #bh4--8,sp5t "s "t 9 visit+ fri5ds1 & disc\rs+ ) my p1 7:o 7 n[ mov$ d[n f _! own place to ,mr4 ,s]geant's7 & f\nd !m v glad to see me return$4 ,0 ex]cis$ 9 my m9d ) a s5se ( my own unwor?9ess4 ,"l's day1 ,april #bi4--8,prea*$ = ,mr4 ,s]geant bo? p>ts ( ! day1 f ,rev4 #ad3d4 ,enjoy$ "s fre$om 9 prea*+1 ?\gh n mu* spirituality4 ,9 ! ev5+1 my he>t 0 9 "s measure lift$ up 9 ?ankfulness to ,god = any assi/ance4 ,april #cj4--8,rode to ,kaunaumeek1 b 0 extremely ill2 did n enjoy ! com=t ,i hop$ = 9 my own h\se4 ,may #a4--8;,hav+ receiv$ new ord]s to g to a numb] ( ,indians on ,delaw>e riv]1 9 ,p5nsylvania1 & my p "h be+ mo/ly remov$ to ,mr4 ,s]geant's1 ,i ?is day took all my clo!s1 books1 c4 & dispos$ ( !m1 & set out = ,delaw>e riv]2 b made x my way to return to ,mr4 ,s]geant's1 :i* ,i did ?is day1 j at night4 ,rode sev]al h\rs 9 ! ra9 ?r\gh ! h[l+ wild]ness1 al?\gh ,i 0 s disord]$ 9 body1 t little or no?+ b blood came f me4 ,may #h4--8,travell$ ab\t =ty-five miles to a place call$ ,fi%kill2 & lodg$ !re4 ,sp5t mu* ( my "t1 :ile rid+1 9 pray] t ,god w\ld g ) me to ! ,delaw>e4 ,my he>t sometimes 0 ready to s9k ) ! ?\ghts ( my "w1 & go+ alone 9 ! wild]ness1 ,i knew n :]e2 b /ill x 0 com=table to ?9k t o!rs ( ,god's *ildr5 _h #8w&]$ ab\t 9 d5s & caves ( ! e>?2' & ,abraham1 :5 he 0 call$ to g =?1 #8w5t out n kn[+ :i!r he w5t4' ,o t ,i might foll[ aft] ,god60 ,! next day he w5t =w>d on 8 j\rney2 cross$ ! ,hudson1 & w5t to ,go%5 9 ! ,highl&s2 & s travel$ across ! woods1 f ! ,hudson to ! ,delaw>e1 ab\t a hundr$ miles1 ?r\gh a desolate & hide\s c\ntry1 above ,new-,j]sey1 :]e 7 v few settlem5ts2 9 :i* j\rney he suff]$ mu* fatigue & h>d%ip4 ,he visit$ "s ,indians 9 ! way1 at a place call$ ,miuniss9ks1 & disc\rs$ ) !m conc]n+ ,*ri/ianity4 ,0 consid]ably melan*oly & disconsolate1 be+ alone 9 a /range wild]ness4 ,on ,saturday1 ,may #ab1 he came to a settlem5t ( ,iri% & ,dut* p1 & proce$+ ab\t twelve miles fur!r arriv$ at ,sakhauwotung1 an ,indian settlem5t )9 ! ,=ks ( ! ,delaw>e4 ,"l's day1 ,may #ac4--8,rose e>ly2 felt v poorly aft] my long j\rney1 & aft] be+ wet & fatigu$4 ,0 v melan*oly2 h sc>cely ev] se5 su* a gloomy morn+ 9 my life2 !re appe>$ to be no ,sabba?2 ! *ildr5 7 all at play2 ,i1 a /rang] 9 ! wild]ness1 & knew n :]e to g2 & all circum/ances seem$ to conspire to r5d] my affairs d>k & disc\rag+4 ,0 disappo9t$ respect+ an ,int]pret]1 & he>d t ! ,indians 7 mu* scatt]$4 ,o1 ,i m\rn$ aft] ! pres5ce ( ,god1 & seem$ l a creature bani%$ f 8 sight6 yet he 0 pleas$ to support my s9k+ s\l amid/ all my sorr[s2 s t ,i nev] ent]ta9$ any ?\ght ( quitt+ my bus9ess among ! poor ,indians2 b 0 com=t$ to ?9k t dea? w\ld ere long set me free f ^! di/resses4 ,rode ab\t ?ree or f\r miles to ! ,iri% p1 :]e ,i f\nd "s t appe>$ sob] & conc]n$ ab\t religion4 ,my he>t !n began to be a little enc\rag$3 w5t & prea*$ fir/ to ! ,iri% & !n to ! ,indians2 & 9 ! ev5+ 0 a little com=t$3 my s\l seem$ to re/ on ,god1 & take c\rage4 ,"l's day1 ,may #bj4--8,prea*$ twice to ! poor ,indians2 & enjoy$ "s fre$om 9 speak+1 :ile ,i attempt$ to remove _! prejudices aga9/ ,*ri/ianity4 ,my s\l long$ cont9ually = assi/ance f above2 = ,i saw ,i _h no /r5g? suffici5t = t "w4 ,aft]w>d prea*$ to ! ,iri% p2 0 mu* assi/$ 9 ! fir/ pray]1 & some:at 9 ! s]mon4 ,sev]al p]sons seem$ mu* conc]n$ = _! s\ls1 ) :om ,i disc\rs$ aft]w>d ) mu* fre$om & "s p[]4 ,bless$ be ,god = any assi/ance af=d$ to an unwor?y worm4 ,o t ,i c\ld live to him6 ,"l's day1 ,may #bg4--8,visit$ my ,indians 9 ! morn+1 & att5d$ ^u a fun]al among !m2 0 affect$ to see _! hea!ni% practices4 ,o t !y might be #8turn$ f d>kness to light6' ,aft]w>d got a consid]able numb] ( !m toge!r1 & prea*$ to !m2 & obs]v$ !m v att5tive4 ,aft] ?is prea*$ to ! :ite p f ,heb4 #b3c4 #8,h[ %all we escape if we neglect s great salvation8' ,0 enabl$ to speak ) "s fre$om & p[]3 sev]al p seem$ mu* conc]n$ = _! s\ls2 especially "o :o _h be5 educat$ a ,roman ,ca?olic4 ,bless$ be ! ,"l = any help4 ,may #bh4--8,set out f ! ,indians above ! ,=ks ( ! ,delaw>e1 on a j\rney t[>d ,new>k1 9 ,new-,j]sey1 accord+ to my ord]s4 ,rode ?r\gh ! wild]ness2 0 mu* fatigu$ ) ! heat2 lodg$ at a place call$ ,black ,riv]2 0 exce$+ly tir$ & worn out4 ,"l's day1 ,june #aj4--8;,at ,new>k4 ,9 ! morn+ 0 mu* conc]n$ h[ ,i %\ld p]=m ! "w ( ! day3 & trembl$ at ! ?\ghts ( be+ left to myself4 ,enjoy$ v consid]able assi/ance 9 all p>ts ( ! public s]vice4 ,_h an opportunity aga9 to att5d on ! ord9ance ( ! ,"l's ,supp]1 & ?r\gh div9e goodness 0 refre%$ 9 x3 my s\l 0 full ( love & t5d]ness t[>d ! *ildr5 ( ,god1 & t[>d all m54 ,at night ,i enjoy$ m spirituality & sweet desire ( hol9ess1 ?an ,i h felt = "s "t3 0 afraid ( e ?\ght & e motion1 le/ !reby my he>t %\ld be drawn away f ,god4 ,o t ,i might nev] leave ! bless$ ,god6 #8,"l1 9 ?y pres5ce is fulness ( joy4' ,o ! bless$ness ( liv+ to ,god6 ,june #aa4--8,?is day ! ,presbyt]y met at ,new>k1 9 ord] to my ord9ation4 ,0 v weak & disord]$ 9 body2 yet endeavor$ to repose my confid5ce 9 ,god4 ,sp5t mo/ ( ! day alone2 especially ! =5oon4 ,at ?ree 9 ! aft]noon prea*$ my probation s]mon f ,acts1 #bf3ag1 #ah1 be+ a text giv5 me = t purpose4 ,felt n well ei!r 9 body or m9d3 h[ev]1 ,god c>ri$ me ?r\gh com=tably4 ,aft]w>d pass$ an exam9ation be=e ! ,presbyt]y4 ,0 mu* tir$1 & my m9d burd5$ ) ! greatness ( t *>ge ,i 0 9 ! mo/ solemn mann] ab\t to take ^u me3 my m9d 0 s press$ ) ! weight ( ! "w incumb5t ^u me1 t ,i c\ld n sleep ?is night1 ?\gh v we>y & 9 great ne$ ( re/4 ,june #ab4--8,0 ?is morn+ fur!r exam9$ respect+ my exp]im5tal acqua9tance ) ,*ri/ianity4 ,at #aj o'clock my ord9ation 0 att5d$2 ! s]mon prea*$ by ! ,rev4 ,mr4 ,pemb]ton4 ,at ?is "t ,i 0 affect$ ) a s5se ( ! important tru/ committ$ to me2 yet 0 compos$ & solemn )\t di/raction2 & ,i hope t !n1 z _m times be=e1 ,i gave myself up to ,god1 to be = him1 & n = ano!r4 ,o t ,i might always be engag$ 9 ! s]vice ( ,god1 & duly rememb] ! solemn *>ge ,i h receiv$ 9 ! pres5ce ( ,god1 angels1 & m54 ,am540 ,,*apt] ,,vi4 ,labors = ! ,indians at & ne> ! ,=ks ( ,delaw>e--idolatr\s fea/ & dance--j\rney ?r\gh ! wild]ness to ,opeholhaupung or ! ,susquehanna--erects a cottage at ,=ks ( ! ,delaw>e--"s evid5ces ( a "w ( ! ,_s among ! ,indians--j\rney to ,new-,engl& to obta9 money to support a colleague--visit to ! ,indians on ! ,susquehanna--j\rney to ,crossweeksung 9 ,new-,j]sey4 ,june #ac1 #agdd4--;,june #ah1 #agde4 ,june #ac1 #agdd4 ,at ,elizabe? ,t[n4--8,sp5t consid]able "t 9 writ+ an acc\nt ( ! ,indian affairs1 to be s5t to ,scotl&2 "s1 9 conv]sation ) fri5ds2 b _h n mu* spiritual enjoym5t40 ,on ,tuesday1 ,june #ai1 he set out on 8 j\rney1 & 9 ?ree days rea*$ 8 resid5ce ne> ! ,=ks ( ,delaw>e4 ,p]=m$ ! j\rney "u mu* weakness ( body1 b _h com=t 9 8 s\l1 f day to day4 ,"l's day1 ,june #bd4--8;,extremely feeble2 sc>cely able to walk3 h[ev] visit$ my ,indians1 & took mu* pa9s to in/ruct !m2 labor$ ) "s t 7 mu* disaffect$ t[>d ,*ri/ianity4 ,my m9d 0 mu* burd5$ ) ! weight & difficulty ( my "w4 ,my :ole dep5d5ce & hope ( success seem$ to be on ,god2 :o alone ,i saw c\ld make !m will+ to receive in/ruction4 ,my he>t 0 mu* engag$ 9 pray]1 s5d+ up sil5t reque/s to ,god1 ev5 :ile ,i 0 speak+ to !m4 ,o t ,i c\ld always g 9 ! /r5g? ( ! ,"l6 ,june #be4--8,0 some:at bett] 9 heal? ?an ( late2 & 0 able to sp5d a consid]able "p ( ! day 9 pray] & close /udy4 ,_h m fre$om & f]v5cy 9 pray] ?an usual ( late2 especially long$ = ! pres5ce ( ,god 9 my "w1 & t ! poor ,hea!n might be conv]t$4 ,& 9 ev5+ pray] my fai? & hope 9 ,god 7 mu* rais$4 ,to an eye ( reason e ?+ t respects ! conv]sion ( ! ,hea!n is z d>k z midnight2 & yet ,i _c b hope 9 ,god = ! accompli%m5t ( some?+ glori\s among !m4 ,my s\l long$ mu* = ! advancem5t ( ! ,r$eem]'s k+dom on e>?4 ,0 v fe>ful le/ ,i %\ld admit "s va9 ?\ght1 & s lose ! s5se ,i !n _h ( div9e ?+s4 ,o = an abid+ heav5ly temp]6 ,june #bf4--8;,9 ! morn+1 my desires seem$ to rise1 & asc5d up freely to ,god4 ,0 busy mo/ ( ! day 9 translat+ pray]s into ! language ( ! ,delaw>e ,indians2 met ) great difficulty1 because my int]pret] 0 altoge!r unacqua9t$ ) ! bus9ess4 ,b ?\gh ,i 0 mu* disc\rag$ ) ! extreme difficulty ( t "w1 yet ,god support$ me2 & especially 9 ! ev5+1 gave me sweet refre%m5t4 ,9 pray] my s\l 0 enl>g$1 & my fai? drawn into s5sible ex]cise2 0 enabl$ to cry to ,god = my poor ,indians2 & ?\gh ! "w ( _! conv]sion appe>$ impossible ) man1 yet ) ,god ,i saw all ?+s 7 possible4 ,my fai? 0 mu* /r5g!n$1 by obs]v+ ! wond]ful assi/ance ,god af=d$ 8 s]vants ,nehemiah & ,ezra1 9 re=m+ 8 p & re-e/abli%+ 8 anci5t *ur*4 ,i 0 mu* assi/$ 9 pray] = my de> ,*ri/ian fri5ds1 & = o!rs :om ,i appreh5d$ to be ,*ri/less2 b 0 m especially conc]n$ = ! poor hea!n1 & ^? ( my own *>ge2 0 enabl$ to be in/ant 9 pray] = !m2 & hop$ t ,god w\ld b[ ! heav5s & come d[n = _! salvation4 ,x seem$ to me t !re c\ld be no imp$im5t suffici5t to ob/ruct t glori\s "w1 see+ ! liv+ ,god1 z ,i /rongly hop$1 0 engag$ = x4 ,i cont9u$ 9 a solemn frame1 lift+ up my he>t to ,god = assi/ance & grace1 t ,i might be m mortifi$ to ?is pres5t _w1 t my :ole s\l might be tak5 up cont9ually 9 conc]n = ! advancem5t ( ,*ri/'s k+dom4 ,e>ne/ly desir$ t ,god w\ld purge me m1 t ,i might be z a *os5 vessel to be> 8 "n among ! ,hea!n4 ,june #bh4--8,sp5t ! morn+ 9 read+ sev]al p>ts ( ! holy scripture1 & 9 f]v5t pray] = my ,indians1 t ,god w\ld set up 8 k+dom among !m1 & br+ !m into 8 *ur*4 ,ab\t n9e ,i )drew to my usual place ( retirem5t 9 ! woods1 & !re aga9 enjoy$ "s assi/ance 9 pray]4 ,my great conc]n 0 = ! conv]sion ( ! hea!n to ,god2 & ! ,"l help$ me to plead ) him = x4 ,t[>d noon rode up to ! ,indians 9 ord] to prea* to !m2 & :ile go+ my he>t w5t up to ,god 9 pray] = !m2 c\ld freely tell ,god he knew t ! cause 9 :i* ,i 0 engag$ 0 n m9e2 b t x 0 8 own cause1 & t x w\ld be = 8 own glory to conv]t ! poor ,indians3 & bless$ be ,god ,i felt no desire ( _! conv]sion t ,i might receive honor f ! _w z be+ ! in/rum5t ( x4 ,_h "s fre$om 9 speak+ to ! ,indians4 ,june #cj4--8,my s\l 0 v solemn 9 read+ ,god's ^w1 especially ! n9? *apt] ( ,daniel4 ,i saw h[ ,god _h call$ out 8 s]vants to pray]1 & made !m wre/le ) him1 :5 he design$ to be/[ any great m]cy on 8 *ur*4 ,&1 alas6 ,i 0 a%am$ ( myself to ?9k ( my dullness & inactivity :5 !re seem$ to be s mu* to d = ! upbuild+ ( ,zion4 ,o h[ does ,zion lie wa/e6 ,i long$ t ! *ur* ( ,god might be enl>g$2 0 enabl$ to pray1 ,i ?9k1 9 fai?2 my s\l seem$ s5sibly to confide 9 ,god1 & 0 enabl$ to wre/le ) him4 ,aft]w>d walk$ abroad to a place ( sweet retirem5t2 enjoy$ "s assi/ance 9 pray]1 _h a s5se ( my great ne$ ( div9e help1 & felt my s\l s5sibly dep5d on ,god4 ,bless$ be ,god1 ?is has be5 a com=table week to me4 ,"l's day1 ,july #a4--8;,aft] ,i came to !m my m9d 0 confus$1 & ,i felt no?+ s5sibly ( t sweet reliance on ,god ) :i* my s\l has be5 com=t$ 9 days pa/4 ,sp5t ! =5oon 9 ?is po/ure ( m9d1 & prea*$ to ! ,indians )\t any he>t4 ,9 ! aft]noon ,i felt /ill b>r5 :5 ,i began to prea*1 & = ab\t half an h\r3 ,i seem$ to myself to "k no?+1 & to h no?+ to say to ! ,indians2 b soon aft] ,i f\nd 9 myself a _s ( love1 & w>m?1 & p[]1 to address ! poor ,indians1 & ,god help$ me to plead ) !m1 to #8turn f all ! vanities ( ! hea!n to ! liv+ ,god2' ,i am p]suad$ t ! ,"l t\*$ _! consci5ces2 = ,i nev] saw su* att5tion rais$ 9 !m4 ,:5 ,i came away f !m1 ,i sp5t ! :ole "t ,i 0 rid+ to my lodg+s1 ?ree miles di/ant1 9 pray] & praise to ,god4 ,aft] ,i _h rode m ?an two miles x came into my m9d to d$icate myself to ,god aga91 :i* ,i did ) great solemnity & unspeakable satisfaction2 especially gave up myself to him r5ew$ly 9 ! "w ( ! m9i/ry4 ,?is ,i did by div9e grace1 ,i hope1 )\t any exception or res]ve2 n 9 ! lea/ %r9k+ back f any difficulties t might att5d ?is great & bless$ "w4 ,i seem$ to be mo/ free1 *e]ful1 & full 9 ?is d$ication ( myself4 ,my :ole s\l cri$1 #8,"l1 to !e ,i d$icate myself6 ,o accept ( me1 & let me be ?9e = ev]4 ,"l1 ,i desire no?+ else2 ,i desire no?+ m4 ,o come1 come1 ,"l1 accept a poor worm4 ,my he>t rejoic$ 9 my p>ticul> "w z a mission>y2 rejoic$ 9 my necessity ( self-d5ial 9 _m respects1 & ,i /ill cont9u$ to give up myself to ,god1 & to implore m]cy ( him1 pray+ incessantly e mom5t ) sweet f]v5cy4 ,my nature be+ v weak ( late1 & mu* sp5t1 0 n[ consid]ably ov]come3 my f+]s grew v feeble1 & some:at numb1 s t ,i c\ld sc>cely /ret* !m out /raight1 & :5 ,i light$ f my horse c\ld h>dly walk2 my jo9ts seem$ all to be loos$4 ,b ,i felt abundant /r5g? 9 ! inn] man4 ,prea*$ to ! :ite p2 ,god help$ me mu*1 especially 9 pray]4 ,sundry ( my poor ,indians 7 s mov$ z to come to meet+ also1 & "o appe>$ mu* conc]n$4 ,july #c4--8,0 /ill v weak4 ,?is morn+ 0 enabl$ to pray "u a feel+ s5se ( my ne$ ( help f ,god1 & ,i tru/ _h "s fai? 9 ex]cise2 &1 bless$ be ,god1 0 enabl$ to plead ) him a consid]able "t4 ,truly ,god is good to me4 ,b my s\l m\rn$1 & 0 griev$ at my s9fulness & b>r5ness1 & long$ to be m engag$ = ,god4 ,ne> n9e1 )drew aga9 = pray]1 & ?r\gh div9e goodness _h ! bless$ _s ( pray]2 my s\l lov$ ! duty1 & long$ = ,god 9 x4 ,o x is sweet to be ! ,"l's1 to be s5sibly devot$ to him6 ,:at a bless$ portion is ,god6 ,h[ glori\s1 h[ lovely 9 himself6 ,o my s\l long$ to improve "t :olly = ,god6 ,sp5t mo/ ( ! day 9 translat+ pray]s into ,indian4 ,9 ! ev5+ 0 enabl$ aga9 to wre/le ) ,god 9 pray] ) f]v5cy4 ,0 enabl$ to ma9ta9 a self-diffid5t & wat*ful frame ( _s1 & 0 jeal\s1 & afraid le/ ,i %\ld admit c>elessness & self-confid5ce4 ,july #f4--8;,awoke ?is morn+ 9 ! fe> ( ,god1 & sp5t my fir/ wak+ m9utes 9 pray] = sanctification1 t my s\l may be wa%$ f its exce$+ pollution & defilem5t4 ,aft] ,i arose ,i sp5t "s "t 9 read+ ,god's ^w1 & 9 pray]4 ,i cri$ to ,god "u a s5se ( my great indig5ce4 ,i am ( late mo/ ( all conc]n$ = m9i/]ial qualifications1 & ! conv]sion ( ! hea!n4 ,la/ ye> ,i long$ to be prep>$ = a _w ( glory1 & spe$ily to dep>t out ( ?is _w2 b ( late all my conc]n almo/ is = ! conv]sion ( ! hea!n1 & = t end ,i long to live4 ,b bless$ be ,god ,i h less desire to live = any ( ! pleasures ( ! _w ?an ,i ev] _h4 ,i long & love to be a pilgrim1 & want grace to imitate ! life1 labors & suff]+s ( ,/4 ,paul among ! hea!n4 ,& :5 ,i long = hol9ess n[1 x is n s mu* = myself z =m]ly1 b r !reby ,i may become an #8able m9i/] ( ! ,new ,te/am5t1' especially to ! hea!n4 ,july #g4--8,0 v mu* disord]$ ?is morn+1 & my vigor all sp5t & exhau/$2 b 0 affect$ & refre%$ 9 read+ ! sweet /ory ( ,elijah's translation1 & enjoy$ "s affection & f]v5cy 9 pray]2 long$ mu* = m9i/]ial gifts & graces1 t ,i might d some?+ 9 ! cause ( ,god4 ,aft]w>d 0 refre%$ & invigorat$ :ile read+ ,,alle9e',s fir/ ,case ( ,consci5ce1 c4--0 enabl$ !n to pray ) "s ardor ( s\l--0 afraid ( c>elessness & self-confid5ce1 & long$ = hol9ess4 ,"l's day1 ,july #h4--8,0 ill la/ night--n able to re/ quietly4 ,_h "s small degree ( assi/ance 9 prea*+ to ! ,indians1 & aft]w>d 0 enabl$ to prea* to ! :ite p ) "s p[]1 especially 9 ! close ( my disc\rse1 f ,j]4 #c3bc4 #8,truly 9 va9 is salvation hop$ = f ! hills1' c4 ,! ,"l also assi/$ me 9 "s measure 9 ! fir/ pray]2 bless$ be 8 "n4 ,ne> night1 ?\gh v we>y1 0 enabl$ to read ,god's ^w ) "s sweet reli% ( x1 & to pray ) affection1 f]v5cy1 & ,i tru/ ) fai?2 my s\l 0 m s5sibly dep5dant on ,god ?an usual4 ,0 wat*ful1 t5d]1 & jeal\s ( my own he>t1 le/ ,i %\ld admit c>elessness & va9 ?\ghts1 & grieve ! bless$ ,_s1 s t he %\ld )draw 8 sweet1 k9d1 & t5d] influ5ces4 ,long$ to #8dep>t1 & be ) ,*ri/1' m ?an at any "t ( late4 ,my s\l 0 exce$+ly unit$ to ! sa9ts ( anci5t times1 z well z ^? n[ liv+2 especially my s\l melt$ = ! society ( ,elijah & ,eli%a4 ,0 enabl$ to cry to ,god ) a *ild-l _s1 & to cont9ue in/ant 9 pray] = "s "t4 ,0 mu* enl>g$ 9 ! sweet duty ( int]cession2 0 enabl$ to rememb] great numb]s ( de> fri5ds1 & preci\s s\ls1 z well z ,*ri/'s m9i/]s4 ,cont9u$ 9 ?is frame1 afraid ( e idle ?\ght1 till ,i dropp$ asleep4 ,july #ba4--8,?is morn+ ,i 0 greatly oppress$ ) guilt & %ame f a s5se ( inw>d vil5ess & pollution4 ,ab\t n9e )drew to ! woods = pray]1 b _h n mu* com=t2 ,i appe>$ to myself ! vile/1 meane/ creature ^u e>?1 & c\ld sc>cely live ) myself2 s mean & vile ,i appe>$1 t ,i ?\ght ,i %\ld nev] be able to hold up my face 9 heav51 if ,god1 ( 8 inf9ite grace1 %\ld br+ me ?i!r4 ,t[>d night my burd5 respect+ my "w among ! ,indians began to increase mu*1 & 0 aggravat$ by he>+ sundry ?+s :i* look$ v disc\rag+1 9 p>ticul> t !y int5d$ to meet toge!r ! next day = an idolatr\s fea/ & dance4 ,!n ,i began to be 9 angui%2 ,i ?\ght t ,i mu/ 9 consci5ce g & endeavor to break !m up1 yet knew n h[ to attempt su* a ?+4 ,h[ev]1 ,i )drew = pray]1 hop+ = /r5g? f above4 ,9 pray] ,i 0 exce$+ly enl>g$1 & my s\l 0 z mu* drawn out z ,i ev] rememb] x to h be5 9 my life4 ,i 0 9 su* angui%1 & plead$ ) su* e>ne/ness & importunity1 t :5 ,i rose f my knees ,i felt extremely weak & ov]come2 ,i c\ld sc>cely walk /raight2 my jo9ts 7 loos$2 ! sweat ran d[n my face & body1 & nature seem$ z if x w\ld dissolve4 ,s f> z ,i c\ld judge1 ,i 0 :olly free f selfi% ends 9 my f]v5t supplications = ! poor ,indians4 ,i knew t !y 7 met toge!r to wor%ip devils1 & n ,god2 & ?is made me cry e>ne/ly t ,god w\ld n[ appe> & help me 9 my attempts to break up ?is idolatr\s meet+4 ,my s\l plead$ long1 & ,i ?\ght t ,god w\ld he>1 & w\ld g ) me to v9dicate 8 own cause3 ,i seem$ to confide 9 ,god = 8 pres5ce & assi/ance4 ,& ?us ,i sp5t ! ev5+1 pray+ incessantly = div9e assi/ance1 & t ,i might n be self-dep5d5t1 b /ill h my :ole dep5dance ^u ,god4 ,:at ,i pass$ ?r\gh 0 rem>kable1 & inde$ inexpressible4 ,all ?+s "h bel[ vani%$1 & !re appe>$ to be no?+ ( any consid]able importance to me1 b hol9ess ( he>t & life1 & ! conv]sion ( ! hea!n to ,god4 ,all my c>es1 fe>s & desires1 :i* might be said to be ( a worldly nature1 disappe>$1 & 71 9 my e/eem1 ( little m importance ?an a puff ( w9d4 ,i exce$+ly long$ t ,god w\ld get to himself a "n among ! hea!n2 & ,i appeal$ to him ) ! greate/ fre$om1 t he knew ,i #8pref]r$ him above my *ief joy4' ,inde$1 ,i _h no notion ( joy f ?is _w2 ,i c>$ n :]e or h[ ,i liv$1 or :at h>d%ips ,i w5t ?r\gh1 s t ,i c\ld b ga9 s\ls to ,*ri/4 ,i cont9u$ 9 ?is frame all ! ev5+ & night4 ,:ile ,i 0 asleep ,i dream$ ( ^! ?+s2 & :5 ,i wak$1 7z ,i frequ5tly did17 ! fir/ ?+ ,i ?\ght ( 0 ?is great "w ( plead+ = ,god aga9/ ,satan4 ,"l's day1 ,july #bb4--8,:5 ,i wak$ my s\l 0 burd5$ ) :at seem$ to be be=e me4 ,i cri$ to ,god1 be=e ,i c\ld get out ( my b$2 & z soon z ,i 0 dress$ ,i )drew into ! woods1 to p\r out my burd5$ s\l to ,god1 especially = assi/ance 9 my great "w2 = ,i c\ld sc>cely ?9k ( any ?+ else4 ,i enjoy$ ! same fre$om & f]v5cy z ! la/ ev5+2 & did ) unspeakable fre$om give up myself afre% to ,god1 = life or dea?1 = all h>d%ips to :i* he %\ld call me1 among ! hea!n2 & felt z if no?+ c\ld disc\rage me f ?is bless$ "w4 ,i _h a /rong hope t ,god w\ld #8b[ ! heav5s & come d[n1' & d "s m>vell\s "w among ! hea!n4 ,:ile ,i 0 rid+ to ! ,indians1 ?ree miles1 my he>t 0 cont9ually go+ up to ,god = 8 pres5ce & assi/ance2 & hop+1 & almo/ expect+1 t ,god w\ld make ?is ! day ( 8 p[] & grace among/ ! poor ,indians4 ,:5 ,i came to !m1 ,i f\nd !m engag$ 9 _! frolic2 b ?r\gh div9e goodness ,i p]suad$ !m to desi/ & att5d to my prea*+3 yet /ill !re appe>$ no?+ ( ! special p[] ( ,god among !m4 ,prea*$ aga9 to !m 9 ! aft]noon1 & obs]v$ ! ,indians 7 m sob] ?an be=e2 b /ill saw no?+ special among !m4 ,h5ce satan took occasion to tempt & buffet me ) ^! curs$ sugge/ions1 ,!re is no ,god1 or if !re be1 he is n able to conv]t ! ,indians1 be=e !y h m k1 c4 ,i 0 v weak & we>y1 & my s\l borne d[n ) p]plexity2 b 0 mortifi$ to all ! _w1 & 0 det]m9$ /ill to wait ^u ,god = ! conv]sion ( ! hea!n1 ?\gh ! devil tempt$ me to ! contr>y4 ,july #bd4--8,rode ab\t sev5te5 miles we/w>d1 ov] a hide\s m\nta91 to a numb] ( ,indians4 ,got toge!r ne> ?irty ( !m3 prea*$ to !m 9 ! ev5+1 & lodg$ among !m4 ,0 weak1 & felt 9 "s degree disconsolate2 yet c\ld h no fre$om 9 ! ?\ght ( any o!r circum/ances or bus9ess 9 life4 ,all my desire 0 ! conv]sion ( ! hea!n2 & all my hope 0 9 ,god4 ,god does n suff] me to please or com=t myself ) hopes ( see+ fri5ds1 return+ to my de> acqua9tance1 & enjoy+ worldly com=ts4 ,"l's day1 ,augu/ #e4--8,?\gh v weak1 ,i visit$ & prea*$ to ! poor ,indians twice1 & 0 /r5g!n$ va/ly beyond my expectations4 ,inde$ ! ,"l gave me "s fre$om & f]v5cy 9 address+ !m2 ?\gh ,i _h n /r5g? en\gh to /&1 b 0 oblig$ to sit d[n ! :ole "t4 ,t[>d night 0 extremely weak1 fa9t1 sick1 & full ( pa94 ,i seem to myself l a man t has all 8 e/ate emb>k$ 9 "o small boat1 unhappily go+ adrift d[n a swift torr5t4 ,! poor own] /&s on ! %ore1 & looks1 & lam5ts 8 loss4 ,b1 alas6 ?\gh my all seems to be adrift1 & ,i /& & see x1 ,i d>e n lam5t2 = ?is s9ks my spirits m1 & aggravates my bodily disord]s6 ,i am =c$1 !re=e1 to div]t myself ) trifles2 al?\gh at ! same "t ,i am afraid1 & (t5 feel z if ,i 0 guilty ( ! misimprovem5t ( "t4 ,& (t5times my consci5ce is s ex]cis$ ) ?is mis]able way ( sp5d+ "t1 t ,i h no peace2 ?\gh ,i h no /r5g? ( m9d or body to improve x to bett] purpose4 ,o t ,god w\ld pity my di/ress$ /ate60 ,! next ?ree weeks 8 illness 0 less sev]e2 & he 0 9 "s degree capable ( bus9ess1 bo? public & private1 ?\gh he _h "s turns :]e9 8 indisposition prevail$ to a great degree4 ,he _h g5]ally also mu* m inw>d assi/ance & /r5g? ( m9d4 ,he (t5 expresses great long+s = ! enl>gem5t ( ,*ri/'s k+dom1 especially by ! conv]sion ( ! hea!n to ,god2 & speaks ( ?is hope z all 8 delight & joy4 ,he cont9ues /ill to express 8 usual desires aft] hol9ess1 liv+ to ,god1 & a s5se ( 8 own unwor?9ess4 ,he sev]al times speaks ( 8 appe>+ to himself ! vile/ creature on e>?2 & once says1 t he v]ily ?\ght !re 7 none ( ,god's *ildr5 :o fell s f> %ort ( t hol9ess1 & p]fection 9 _! ob$i5ce1 :i* ,god requires1 z he4 ,he speaks ( 8 feel+ m dead ?an ev] to ! enjoym5ts ( ! _w4 ,he sometimes m5tions ! special assi/ance :i* he _h at ?is "t1 9 prea*+ to ! ,indians1 & ! appe>ances ( religi\s conc]n among !m4 ,he speaks also ( assi/ance 9 pray] = abs5t fri5ds1 & especially m9i/]s & c&idates = ! m9i/ry2 & ( mu* com=t :i* he enjoy$ 9 ! company ( "s m9i/]s :o came to visit him4 ,sept4 #a4--8,0 s f> /r5g!n$1 aft] a season ( great weakness1 t ,i 0 able to sp5d two or ?ree h\rs 9 writ+ on a div9e subject4 ,enjoy$ "s com=t & sweetness 9 ?+s div9e & sacr$2 & z my bodily /r5g? 0 9 "s measure re/or$1 s my s\l seem$ to be some:at vigor\s1 & engag$ 9 ! ?+s ( ,god4 ,"l's day1 ,sept4 #b4--8,0 enabl$ to speak to my poor ,indians ) mu* conc]n & f]v5cy2 & ,i am p]suad$ t ,god enabl$ me to ex]cise fai? 9 him1 :ile ,i 0 speak+ to !m4 ,i p]ceiv$ t "s ( !m 7 afraid to he>k5 to & embrace ,*ri/ianity1 le/ !y %\ld be en*ant$ & poison$ by "s ( ! p[aws3 b ,i 0 enabl$ to plead ) !m n to fe> ^!2 &1 confid+ 9 ,god = safety & deliv]ance1 ,i bid a *all5ge to all ^! p[]s ( d>kness1 to d _! wor/ on me fir/4 ,i told my p t ,i 0 a ,*ri/ian1 & ask$ !m :y ! p[aws did n bewit* & poison me4 ,i sc>cely ev] felt m s5sible ( my own unwor?9ess1 ?an 9 ?is action4 ,i saw t ! honor ( ,god 0 conc]n$2 & desir$ to be pres]v$--n f selfi% views--b = a te/imony ( ! div9e p[] & goodness1 & ( ! tru? ( ,*ri/ianity1 & t ,god might be glorifi$4 ,aft]w>d1 ,i f\nd my s\l rejoice 9 ,god = 8 assi/+ grace40 ,aft] ?is1 he w5t a j\rney into ,new-,engl&1 & 0 abs5t f ! place ( 8 abode1 at ! ,=ks ( ,delaw>e1 ab\t ?ree weeks4 ,he 0 9 a feeble /ate ! great] "p ( ! "t4 ,b 9 ! latt] ( ! j\rney he f\nd t he ga9$ mu* 9 heal? & /r5g?4 ,sept4 #bf4--8,rode home to ! ,=ks ( ,delaw>e4 ,:at reason h ,i to bless ,god1 :o has pres]v$ me 9 rid+ m ?an f\r hundr$ & tw5ty miles1 & has #8kept all my bones1 t n "o ( !m has be5 brok56' ,my heal? likewise is greatly recov]$4 ,o t ,i c\ld d$icate my all to ,god6 ,?is is all ! return ,i c make to him40 ,:5 he began to prea* "h1 he _h n m ?an f tw5ty to tw5ty-five he>]s2 _! numb]s at l5g? increas$ to =ty1 or m2 & (t5 mo/ belong+ to ^? p>ts came toge!r to he> him prea*4 ,9 a lett] to ,rev4 ,mr4 ,pemb]ton1 he says 8,! effects :i* ! tru?s ( ,god's ^w h _h ^u "s ( ! ,indians 9 ?is place1 are some:at enc\rag+4 ,a numb] ( !m are br\ght to r5\nce idolatry1 & to decl9e p>tak+ ( ^? fea/s :i* !y us$ to (f] 9 sacrifice to c]ta9 suppos$ unkn[n p[]s4 ,& "s few among !m h1 = a consid]able "t1 manife/$ a s]i\s conc]n = _! s\l's et]nal welf>e1 & /ill cont9ue to #8inquire ! way to ,zion1' ) su* dilig5ce1 affection1 & becom+ solicitude1 z gives me reason to hope t #8,god :o1 ,i tru/1 has begun ?is "w 9 !m1' w c>ry x on1 until x %all issue 9 _! sav+ conv]sion to himself4 ,^! n only dete/ _! old idolatr\s notions1 b /rive also to br+ _! fri5ds (f f !m4 ,& z !y are seek+ salvation = _! own s\ls1 s !y seem desir\s1 & "s ( !m take pa9s1 t o!rs might be excit$ to d ! same4 8,!re are also _m difficulties1 t att5d ! *ri/ianiz+ ( ^! poor pagans4 8,9 ! fir/ place1 _! m9ds are fill$ ) prejudices aga9/ ,*ri/ianity1 on acc\nt ( ! vici\s lives & un*ri/ian behavior ( "s t are call$ ,*ri/ians4 ,^! n only set be=e !m ! wor/ examples1 b "s ( !m take pa9s1 expressly 9 words1 to dissuade !m f becom+ ,*ri/ians1 =esee+ t if ^! %\ld be conv]t$ to ,god1 #8! hope ( _! unlawful ga9' w\ld !reby be lo/4 8,aga93 ^! poor hea!ns are extremely atta*$ to ! cu/oms1 traditions1 & fabul\s notions ( _! fa!rs4 ,& ?is "o seems to be ! f\ndation ( all _! o!r notions1 viz4 t #8x 0 n ! same ,god made !m1 :o made ! :ite p1' b ano!r1 :o comm&$ !m to live by hunt+1 c41 & n to con=m to ! cu/oms ( ! :ite p4 ,h5ce1 :5 !y are desir$ to become ,*ri/ians1 !y frequ5tly reply1 t #8!y w live z _! fa!rs liv$1 & g to _! fa!rs :5 !y die4' ,& if ! miracles ( ,*ri/ & 8 apo/les be m5tion$ to prove ! tru? ( ,*ri/ianity1 !y also m5tion sundry miracles :i* _! fa!rs h told !m 7 anci5tly wr\ght among ! ,indians1 & :i* satan makes !m believe 7 s4 ,!y are mu* atta*$ to idolatry1 frequ5tly mak+ fea/s1 :i* !y eat 9 honor to "s unkn[n be+s1 :o1 !y suppose1 speak to !m 9 dreams2 promis+ !m success 9 hunt+1 & o!r affairs1 9 case !y w sacrifice to !m4 ,!y (t5times also (f] _! sacrifices to ! spirits ( ! dead1 :o1 !y suppose1 /& 9 ne$ ( favors f ! liv+1 & yet are 9 su* a /ate z t !y c well rew>d all ! (fices ( k9dness t are %[n !m4 ,& !y impute all _! calamities to ! neglect ( ^! sacrifices4 8,fur!rmore1 !y are mu* aw$ by ^? among !mselves :o are call$ p[aws1 :o are suppos$ to h a p[] ( en*ant+1 or poison+ !m to dea?1 or at lea/ 9 a v di/ress+ mann]4 ,& !y appreh5d$ x w\ld be _! sad fate to be ?us en*ant$ 9 case !y %\ld become ,*ri/ians4 8,! mann] ( _! liv+ is likewise a great disadvantage to ! design ( _! be+ *ri/ianiz$4 ,!y are almo/ cont9ually rov+ f place to place1 & x is b r>e t an opportunity c be _h ) "s ( !m = _! in/ruction40 ,oct4 #a4--8,0 engag$ 9 mak+ prep>ations = my int5d$ j\rney to ! ,susquehanna4 ,)drew sev]al times to ! woods = secret duties1 & endeavor$ to plead = ! div9e pres5ce to g ) me to ! poor ,pagans1 to :om ,i 0 go+ to prea* ! ,gospel4 ,t[>d night rode ab\t f\r miles1 & met bro!r ,byram1 :o 0 come at my desire to be my companion 9 travel to ! ,indians4 ,i rejoic$ to see him1 & ,i tru/ ,god made 8 conv]sation pr(itable to me4 ,i saw him1 z ,i ?\ght1 m dead to ! _w1 its anxi\s c>es & allur+ objects1 ?an ,i 02 & ?is made me look )9 myself1 & gave me a great] s5se ( my guilt1 +ratitude1 & mis]y4 ,oct4 #b4--8,set out on my j\rney 9 company ) de> bro!r ,byram & my int]pret]1 & two *ief ,indians f ! ,=ks ( ,delaw>e4 ,travel$ ab\t tw5ty-five miles1 & lodg$ 9 "o ( ! la/ h\ses on our road2 aft] :i* !re 0 no?+ b a hide\s & h[l+ wild]ness4 ,oct4 #c4--8,we w5t on our way into ! wild]ness1 & f\nd ! mo/ difficult & dang]\s travel+ by f>1 t ev] any ( u _h se54 ,we _h sc>ce any ?+ else b l(ty m\nta9s1 deep valleys1 & hide\s rocks1 to make our way ?r\gh4 ,h[ev]1 ,i _h "s spiritual enjoym5t "p ( ! day1 & my m9d int5sely engag$ 9 m$itation on a div9e subject4 ,ne> night my horse hung "o ( h] legs 9 ! rocks & fell d[n "u me1 b ?r\gh div9e goodness ,i 0 n hurt4 ,h[ev]1 %e broke h] leg2 & be+ 9 su* a hide\s place1 & ne> ?irty miles f any h\se1 ,i saw no?+ t c\ld be done to pres]ve h] life1 & s 0 oblig$ to kill h]1 & to prosecute my j\rney on foot4 ,?is accid5t made me admire ! div9e goodness to me t my bones 7 n brok51 & ! multitude ( !m fill$ ) /rong pa94 ,j at d>k we k9dl$ a fire1 cut up a few bu%es1 & made a %elt] ov] our heads to save u f ! fro/1 :i* 0 v h>d t night1 & committ+ ourselves to ,god by pray]1 we lay d[n on ! gr\nd & slept quietly40 ,! next day !y w5t =w>d on _! j\rney1 & at night took up _! lodg+s 9 ! woods 9 l mann]4 ,oct4 #e4--8,we rea*$ ! ,susquehanna riv] at a place call$ ,opeholhaupung1 & f\nd !re twelve ,indian h\ses4 ,aft] ,i _h salut$ ! k+ 9 a fri5dly mann] ,i told him my bus9ess1 & t my desire 0 to tea* !m ,*ri/ianity4 ,aft] "s consultation ! ,indians ga!r$1 & ,i prea*$ to !m4 ,& :5 ,i _h done ,i ask$ if !y w\ld he> me aga94 ,!y repli$ t !y w\ld consid] ( x1 & soon aft] s5t me ^w t !y w\ld imm$iately att5d if ,i w\ld prea*1 :i* ,i did ) fre$om1 bo? times4 ,:5 ,i ask$ !m aga91 :e!r !y w\ld he> me fur!r1 !y repli$1 !y w\ld ! next day4 ,i 0 exce$+ s5sible ( ! impossibility ( do+ any ?+ = ! poor ,hea!n )\t special assi/ance f above2 & my s\l seem$ to re/ on ,god1 & leave x to him to d z he pleas$ 9 t :i* ,i saw 0 8 own cause4 ,inde$1 ?r\gh div9e goodness1 ,i _h felt some:at ( ?is frame mo/ ( ! "t :ile ,i 0 travel+ ?i!r2 & 9 "s measure be=e ,i set out4 ,oct4 #f4--8,rose e>ly & bes\ght ! ,"l = help 9 my great "w4 ,ne> noon1 prea*$ aga9 to ! ,indians2 & 9 ! aft]noon visit$ !m f h\se to h\se1 & invit$ !m to come & he> me aga9 ! next day1 & put (f _! hunt+ design :i* !y 7 j ent]+ ^u1 till ,monday #8,?is night' ,i tru/1 #8! ,"l /ood by me1' to enc\rage & /r5g!n my s\l3 ,i sp5t m ?an an h\r 9 secret retirem5t2 0 enabl$ to #8p\r out my he>t be=e ,god1' = ! increase ( grace 9 my s\l1 = m9i/]ial end[m5ts1 = success among ! poor ,indians1 = ,god's m9i/]s & p1 = di/ant de> fri5ds1 c4 ,bless$ be ,god6 ,oct4 #h4--8,visit$ ! ,indians ) a design to take my leave ( !m1 suppos+ !y w\ld ?is morn+ g out to hunt+ e>ly2 b beyond my expectation & hope1 !y desir$ to he> me prea* aga94 ,i gladly compli$ ) _! reque/1 & aft]w>d endeavor$ to answ] _! objections aga9/ ,*ri/ianity4 ,oct4 #i4--8,we rose ab\t f\r 9 ! morn+1 & comm5d+ ourselves to ,god by pray]1 & ask+ 8 special protection1 set out on our j\rney homew>d ab\t five1 & travel$ ) great /ead9ess till pa/ six at night2 & !n made u a fire & a %elt] ( b>k1 & s re/$4 ,i _h "s cle> & com=table ?\ghts on a div9e subject1 by ! way1 t[>d night4 ,9 ! night1 ! wolves h[l$ ar\nd u2 b ,god pres]v$ u40 ,! next day !y rose e>ly1 & at night came to an ,iri% settlem5t1 ) :i* ,bra9]d 0 acqua9t$1 & lodg$ !re4 ,on ! foll[+ day bo? he & ,mr4 ,byram prea*$ to ! p4 ,oct4 #ab4--8,rode home to my lodg+s2 :]e ,i p\r$ out my s\l to ,god 9 secret pray]1 & endeavor$ to bless him = 8 abundant goodness to me 9 my late j\rney4 ,i sc>cely ev] enjoy$ m heal?1 at lea/ ( lat] ye>s2 & ,god m>vell\sly & almo/ miracul\sly1 support$ me "u ! fatigues ( ! way1 & travel+ on foot4 ,bless$ be ! ,"l1 :o cont9ually pres]ves me4 ,"l's day1 ,oct4 #ad4--8;,i w5t to ! place ( public wor%ip1 lift+ up my he>t to ,god = assi/ance & grace1 9 my great "w2 & ,god 0 graci\s to me2 help+ me to plead ) him = hol9ess1 & to use ! /ronge/ argum5ts ) him1 drawn f ! inc>nation & suff]+s ( ,*ri/1 = ?is v end1 t m5 might be made holy4 ,aft]w>d1 ,i 0 mu* assi/$ 9 prea*+4 ,i "k n t ev] ,god help$ me to prea* 9 a m close & di/+ui%+ mann] = ! trial ( m5's /ate4 ,?r\gh ! inf9ite goodness ( ,god1 ,i felt :at ,i spoke2 & he enabl$ me to treat on div9e tru? ) uncommon cle>ness4 ,oct4 #bd4--8,ne> noon1 rode to my p2 sp5t "s "t1 & pray$ ) !m2 felt ! frame ( a pilgrim on e>?2 long$ mu* to leave ?is gloomy mansion2 b yet f\nd ! ex]cise ( pati5ce & resignation4 ,& z ,i return$ home f ! ,indians1 sp5t ! :ole "t 9 lift+ up my he>t to ,god4 ,9 ! ev5+ enjoy$ a bless$ season alone 9 pray]2 0 enabl$ to cry to ,god ) a *ild-l _s1 = ! space ( ne> an h\r2 enjoy$ a sweet fre$om 9 supplicat+ = myself1 = de> fri5ds1 m9i/]s1 & "s :o are prep>+ = t "w1 & = ! *ur* ( ,god2 & long$ to be z lively myself 9 ,god's s]vice z ! angels4 ,oct4 #bf4--8;,9 ! morn+ my s\l 0 melt$ ) a s5se ( div9e goodness & m]cy to su* a vile unwor?y worm4 ,i delight$ to lean ^u ,god1 & place my :ole tru/ 9 him4 ,my s\l 0 exce$+ly griev$ = s91 & priz$ & long$ aft] hol9ess2 x w\nd$ my he>t deeply1 yet sweetly1 to ?9k h[ ,i _h abus$ a k9d ,god4 ,i long$ to be p]fectly holy t ,i might n grieve a graci\s ,god2 :o w cont9ue to love not)/&+ 8 love is abus$6 ,i long$ = hol9ess m = ?is end ?an ,i did = my own happ9ess' sake2 & yet ?is 0 my greate/ happ9ess1 nev] m to di%onor1 b always to glorify ! bless$ ,god4 ,oct4 #ca4--8,0 s5sible ( my b>r5ness & decays 9 ! ?+s ( ,god3 my s\l fail$ :5 ,i rememb]$ ! f]v5cy :i* ,i _h enjoy$ at ! ?rone ( grace4 ,o1 ,i ?\ght1 if ,i c\ld b be spiritual1 w>m1 heav5ly m9d$1 & affectionately brea?+ aft] ,god1 ?is w\ld be bett] ?an life to me6 ,my s\l long$ exce$+ly = dea?1 to be loos$ f ?is dullness & b>r5ness1 & made = ev] active 9 ! s]vice ( ,god4 ,i seem$ to live = no?+1 & to d no good3 & ,o ! burd5 ( su* a life6 ,o dea?1 dea?1 my k9d fri5d1 ha/5 & deliv] me f dull mortality1 & make me spiritual & vigor\s to et]nity60 ,nov4 #e4--;,he set out on a j\rney to ,new-,york1 & 0 f home m ?an a =tnight4 ,he 0 expos$ to cold & /orms1 became greatly fatigu$1 & :5 he return$ f ,new-,york to ,new-,j]sey 0 tak5 ill1 & deta9$ "s "t4 ,nov4 #ba4--8,rode f ,new>k to ,rockciticus 9 ! cold1 & 0 almo/ ov]come ) x4 ,enjoy$ "s sweetness 9 conv]sation ) de> ,mr4 ,jones1 :ile ,i d9$ ) him4 ,my s\l loves ! p ( ,god1 & especially ! m9i/]s ( ,jesus ,*ri/ :o feel ! same trials t ,i d4 ,nov4 #bb4--8;,came on my way f ,rockciticus to ! ,delaw>e4 ,0 v mu* disord]$ ) a cold & pa9 9 my head4 ,ab\t six at night ,i lo/ my way 9 ! wild]ness1 & w&]$ ov] rocks & m\nta9s1 d[n hide\s /eeps1 ?r\gh swamps & mo/ dreadful & dang]\s places2 & ! night be+ d>k1 s t few />s c\ld be se51 ,i 0 greatly expos$4 ,i 0 mu* p9*$ ) cold1 & di/ress$ ) pa9 9 my head1 att5d$ ) sickness at my /oma*2 s t e /ep ,i took 0 di/ress+ to me4 ,i _h little hope1 = sev]al h\rs toge!r1 b t ,i mu/ lie out 9 ! woods all night 9 ?is di/ress$ case4 ,b ab\t n9e o'clock ,i f\nd a h\se1 ?r\gh ! abundant goodness ( ,god1 & 0 k9dly ent]ta9$4 ,?us ,i h frequ5tly be5 expos$1 & sometimes la9 out ! :ole night3 b ,god has hi!rto pres]v$ me2 & bless$ be 8 "n4 ,su* fatigues & h>d%ips z ^! s]ve to wean me f ! e>?2 & ,i tru/ w make heav5 ! sweet]4 ,=m]ly1 :5 ,i 0 ?us expos$ to cold1 ra91 c4 ,i 0 ready to please myself ) ! ?\ghts ( enjoy+ a com=table h\se1 a w>m fire1 & o!r outw>d com=ts2 b n[ ^! h less place 9 my he>t1 7?r\gh ! grace ( ,god17 & my eye is m to ,god = com=t4 ,9 ?is _w ,i expect tribulation2 & x does n n[1 z =m]ly1 appe> /range to me4 ,i d n 9 su* seasons ( difficulty flatt] myself t x w be bett] h]eaft]2 b r ?9k h[ mu* worse x might be2 h[ mu* great] trials o!rs ( ,god's *ildr5 h endur$2 & h[ mu* great] are yet p]haps res]v$ = me4 ,bless$ be ,god1 t he makes ! ?\ghts ( my j\rney's end1 & ( my dissolution a great com=t to me "u my %>pe/ trials2 & sc>ce ev] lets ^! ?\ghts be att5d$ ) t]ror or melan*oly2 b !y are att5d$ frequ5tly ) great joy4 ,nov4 #bc4--8,visit$ a sick man2 disc\rs$ & pray$ ) him4 ,!n visit$ ano!r h\se1 :]e 0 "o dead & laid out2 look$ on ! corpse1 & long$ t my "t might come to dep>t & be ) ,*ri/4 ,!n w5t home to my lodg+s ab\t "o o'clock4 ,felt poorly2 b 0 able to read mo/ ( ! aft]noon40 ,)9 ! space ( ! next twelve days he sp5t mu* "t 9 h>d labor1 ) o!rs1 to make = himself a little cottage or hut1 to live 9 by himself ?r\gh ! w9t]4 ,yet he frequ5tly prea*$ to ! ,indians1 & speaks ( special assi/ance :i* he _h f "t to "t1 9 address+ himself to !m2 & ( 8 sometimes hav+ consid]able enc\ragem5t f ! att5tion :i* !y gave4 ,b on ,tuesday1 ,decemb] #d1 he 0 sunk into great disc\ragem5t1 to see mo/ ( !m go+ 9 company to an idolatr\s fea/ & dance1 aft] he _h tak5 abundant pa9s to dissuade !m f ^! ?+s4 ,dec4 #f4--8;,hav+ n[ a happy opportunity ( be+ retir$ 9 a h\se ( my own1 :i* ,i h lately procur$ & mov$ into2 consid]+ t x is n[ a long "t s9ce ,i h be5 able1 ei!r on acc\nt ( bodily weakness or = want ( retirem5t1 or "s o!r difficulty1 to sp5d any "t 9 secret fa/+ & pray]2 consid]+ also ! greatness ( my "w1 ! extreme difficulties t att5d x1 & t my poor ,indians are n[ wor%ipp+ devils1 not)/&+ all ! pa9s ,i h tak5 ) !m1 :i* almo/ ov]:elms my _s2 moreov]1 consid]+ my extreme b>r5ness1 spiritual deadness & dejection1 ( late2 z also ! p[] ( "s p>ticul> corruptions2 ,i set ap>t ?is day = secret pray] & fa/+1 to implore ! bless+ ( ,god on myself1 on my poor p1 on my fri5ds1 & on ! *ur* ( ,god4 ,at fir/ ,i felt a great backw>dness to ! duties ( ! day on acc\nt ( ! seem+ impossibility ( p]=m+ !m3 b ! ,"l help$ me to break ?r\gh ?is difficulty4 ,god 0 pleas$1 by ! use ( means1 to give me "s cle> conviction ( my s9fulness1 & a discov]y ( ! plague ( my own he>t1 m affect+ ?an :at ,i h ( late _h4 ,& especially ,i saw my s9fulness 9 ?is1 t :5 ,god _h )drawn himself1 !n1 in/ead ( liv+ & dy+ 9 pursuit ( him1 ,i h be5 dispos$ to "o ( ^! two ?+s3 ei!r to yield an unbecom+ respect to "s e>?ly objects1 z if happ9ess 7 to be d]iv$ f !m2 or to be secretly fr[>d & impati5t1 & unsuitably desir\s ( dea?1 s t ,i h sometimes ?\ght ,i c\ld n be> to ?9k t my life mu/ be l5g!n$ out4 ,t :i* (t5 drove me to ?is impati5t desire ( dea?1 0 a despair ( do+ any good 9 life3 & ,i *ose dea? r ?an a life sp5t = no?+4 ,b n[ ,god made me s5sible ( my s9 9 ^! ?+s1 & enabl$ me to cry to him = =giv5ess4 ,yet ?is 0 n all ,i want$1 = my s\l appe>$ exce$+ly pollut$1 my he>t seem$ l a ne/ ( vip]s1 or a cage ( unclean & hateful birds2 & !re=e ,i want$ to be purifi$ #8by ! blood ( spr9kl+1 t cleanse? f all s94' ,?is1 ,i hope1 ,i 0 enabl$ to pray = 9 fai?4 ,i enjoy$ mu* m int5s5ess1 f]v5cy1 & spirituality1 ?an ,i expect$2 ,god 0 bett] to me ?an my fe>s4 ,t[>d night1 ,i felt my s\l rejoice1 t ,god is un*angeably happy & glori\s2 & t he w be glorifi$1 :atev] becomes ( 8 creatures4 ,i 0 enabl$ to p]sev]e 9 pray] until sometime 9 ! ev5+2 at :i* "t ,i saw s mu* ne$ ( div9e help1 9 e respect1 t ,i knew n h[ to leave (f1 & _h =got t ,i ne$$ food4 ,bless$ be ! ,"l = any help 9 ! pa/ day4 ,dec4 #g4--8,sp5t "s "t 9 pray]1 9 ! morn+2 enjoy$ "s fre$om & affection 9 ! duty1 & _h long+ desires ( be+ made #8fai?ful to ! dea?4' ,sp5t a little "t 9 writ+ on a div9e subject2 !n visit$ ! ,indians1 & prea*$ to !m2 b ,i _h no he>t to speak to !m1 & c\ld n d x1 b z ,i =c$ myself3 ,i knew !y mu/ hate to he> me1 z hav+ b j got home f _! idolatr\s fea/ & devil-wor%ip4 ,9 ! ev5+1 _h "s fre$om 9 pray] & m$itation4 ,dec4 #ab4--8,0 v weak2 b some:at assi/$ 9 secret pray]1 & enabl$ ) pleasure & sweetness to cry1 #8,come1 ,"l ,jesus6 come1 ,"l ,jesus6 come quickly4' ,my s\l #8long$ = ,god1 = ! liv+ ,god4' ,o h[ delightful x is to pray "u su* sweet influ5ces6 ,o h[ mu* bett] is ?is ?an "o's necess>y food6 ,i _h at ?is "t no disposition to eat1 7?\gh late 9 ! morn+17 = e>?ly food appe>$ :olly ta/eless4 ,o h[ mu* #8bett] is ?y love ?an w9e1' ?an ! sweete/ w9e6--,i visit$ & prea*$ to ! ,indians 9 ! aft]noon2 b "u mu* dejection4 ,f\nd my ,int]pret] "u "s conc]n = 8 s\l2 :i* 0 "s com=t to me2 & yet fill$ me ) new c>e4 ,i long$ greatly = 8 conv]sion2 lift$ up my he>t to ,god = x1 :ile ,i 0 talk+ to him2 came home1 & p\r$ out my s\l to ,god = him2 enjoy$ "s fre$om 9 pray]1 & 0 enabl$1 ,i ?9k1 to leave all ) ,god4 ,dec4 #ah4--8,w5t to ! ,indians1 & disc\rs$ to !m ne> an h\r1 )\t any p[] to come close to _! he>ts4 ,b at la/ ,i felt "s f]v5cy1 & ,god help$ me to speak ) w>m?4 ,my ,int]pret] also 0 amaz+ly assi/$2 & pres5tly mo/ ( ! gr[n p]sons 7 mu* affect$1 & ! te>s ran d[n _! *eeks4 ,"o old man1 ,i suppose an hundr$ ye>s old1 0 s mu* affect$ t he wept1 & seem$ conv9c$ ( ! importance ( :at ,i taught !m4 ,i /aid ) !m a consid]able "t1 exhort+ & direct+ !m2 & came away1 lift+ up my he>t to ,god 9 pray] & praise1 & enc\rag$ & exhort$ my ,int]pret] to #8/rive to ent] 9 at ! /rait gate4' ,came home1 & sp5t mo/ ( ! ev5+ 9 pray] & ?anksgiv+2 & f\nd myself mu* enl>g$ & quick5$4 ,0 greatly conc]n$ t ! ,"l's "w1 :i* seem$ to be begun1 might be c>ri$ on ) p[]1 to ! conv]sion ( poor s\ls1 & ! glory ( div9e grace4 ,dec4 #ai4--8,sp5t a great "p ( ! day 9 pray] to ,god = ! outp\r+ ( 8 ,_s on my poor p2 z also to bless 8 "n = awak5+ my ,int]pret] & "s o!rs1 & giv+ u "s tok5s ( 8 pres5ce ye/]day4 ,& bless$ be ,god1 ,i _h mu* fre$om1 five or six times 9 ! day1 9 pray] & praise1 & felt a weighty conc]n ^u my _s = ! salvation ( ^? preci\s s\ls1 & ! enl>gem5t ( ! ,r$eem]'s k+dom among !m4 ,my s\l hop$ 9 ,god = "s success 9 my m9i/ry3 bless$ be 8 "n = s mu* hope4 ,dec4 #ba4--8,0 enabl$ aga9 to pray ) fre$om1 *e]fulness1 & hope4 ,god 0 pleas$ to make ! duty com=table & pleasant to me2 s t ,i delight$ to p]sev]e1 & repeat$ly to engage 9 x4 ,t[>d noon visit$ my p1 & sp5t ! :ole "t 9 ! way to !m 9 pray]1 long+ to see ! p[] ( ,god among !m1 z !re appe>$ some?+ ( x ! la/ ,tuesday2 & ,i f\nd x sweet to re/ & hope 9 ,god4 ,prea*$ to !m twice1 & at two di/9ct places3 _h consid]able fre$om ea* "t1 & s _h my ,int]pret]4 ,sev]al ( !m foll[$ me f "o place to ! o!r2 & ,i ?\ght !re 0 "s div9e influ5ce disc]nible among !m4 ,9 ! ev5+ 0 assi/$ 9 pray] aga94 ,bless$ be ! ,"l4 ,dec4 #be4--8;,enjoy$ v little quiet sleep la/ night1 by reason ( bodily weakness1 & ! clos5ess ( my /udies ye/]day2 yet my he>t 0 some:at lively 9 pray] & praise4 ,i 0 delight$ ) ! div9e glory & happ9ess1 & rejoic$ t ,god 0 ,god1 & t he 0 un*angeably possess$ ( glory & bless$ness4 ,?\gh ,god held my eyes wak+1 yet he help$ me to improve my "t pr(itably amid/ my pa9s & weakness1 9 cont9u$ m$itations on ,luke1 #ac3g4 #8,behold1 ^! ?ree ye>s ,i come seek+ fruit4' c4 ,my m$itations 7 sweet2 & ,i want$ to set be=e s9n]s _! s9 & dang]40 ,he cont9u$ 9 a v l[ /ate1 z to 8 bodily heal?1 = "s days1 :i* seems to h be5 a great h9drance to him 9 8 religi\s ex]cises & pursuits4 ,b yet he expresses "s degree ( div9e assi/ance1 f day to day1 ?r\gh ! rema9d] ( ?is week4 ,he prea*$ sev]al times ?is week to 8 ,indians2 & !re appe>$ /ill "s conc]n among !m = _! s\ls4 ,jan4 #i1 #agde4--8;,9 ! morn+ ,god 0 pleas$ to remove t gloom :i* has ( late oppress$ my m9d1 & gave me fre$om & sweetness 9 pray]2 ,i 0 enc\rag$1 /r5g!n$1 & enabl$ to plead = grace myself1 & m]cy = my poor ,indians2 & 0 sweetly assi/$ 9 my int]cessions ) ,god = o!rs4 ,bless$ be 8 holy "n = ev] & ev]4 ,am51 & ,am54 ,^? ?+s t ( late h appe>$ mo/ difficult & almo/ impossible1 n[ appe>$ n only possible1 b easy4 ,my s\l s mu* delight$ to cont9ue in/ant 9 pray]1 at ?is bless$ season1 t ,i _h no desire = my necess>y food3 ,i ev5 dread$ leav+ (f pray+ at all1 le/ ,i %\ld lose ?is spirituality1 & ?is bless$ ?ankfulness to ,god :i* ,i !n felt4 ,i felt n[ q will+ to live1 & und]go all trials t might rema9 = me 9 a _w ( sorr[2 b /ill long$ = heav51 t ,i might glorify ,god 9 a p]fect mann]4 #8,o come1 ,"l ,jesus1 come quickly4' ,"l's day1 ,feb4 #c4--8;,9 ! morn+ ,i 0 some:at reliev$ ( t gloom & confusion ) :i* my m9d has ( late be5 greatly ex]cis$2 & 0 enabl$ to pray ) "s composure & com=t4 ,/ill ,i w5t to my ,indians trembl+2 b ,god 0 pleas$ to he> my cries1 & to af=d me great assi/ance2 s t ,i felt peace 9 my own s\l2 & 0 satisfi$1 t if n "o ( ! ,indians %\ld be pr(it$ by my prea*+1 b !y %\ld all be damn$1 yet ,i %\ld be accept$ & rew>d$ z fai?ful2 = ,i am p]suad$1 ,god enabl$ me to be s4 ,_h "s good degree ( help aft]w>d at ano!r place2 & mu* long$ = ! conv]sion ( ! poor ,indians40 ,on ! next ,sabba? he prea*$ at ,gre5wi*1 9 ,new-,j]sey4 ,9 ! ev5+ he rode eight miles to visit a sick man at ! po9t ( dea?1 & f\nd him spee*less & s5seless4 ,feb4 #aa4--8;,ab\t ! break ( day ! sick man di$4 ,i 0 affect$ at ! sight2 sp5t ! morn+ ) ! m\rn]s2 & aft] pray] & "s disc\rse ) !m1 return$ to ,gre5wi*1 & prea*$ aga9 f ,psalm #hi3ae4 ,! ,"l gave me "s assi/ance2 ,i felt a sweet love to s\ls & to ! k+dom ( ,*ri/2 & long$ t poor s9n]s might #8"k ! joyful s\nd4' ,sev]al p]sons 7 mu* affect$4 ,aft] meet+1 ,i 0 enabl$ to disc\rse1 ) fre$om & conc]n1 to "s p]sons :o appli$ to me "u spiritual tr\ble4 ,left ! place1 sweetly compos$1 & rode home to my h\se ab\t eight miles di/ant4 ,disc\rs$ to fri5ds1 & inculcat$ div9e tru?s ^u "s4 ,9 ! ev5+ 0 9 ! mo/ solemn frame :i* ,i almo/ ev] rememb] to h exp]i5c$4 ,i "k n t ev] dea? appe>$ m real to me1 or t ev] ,i saw myself 9 ! condition ( a dead corpse1 laid out1 & dress$ = a lodg+ 9 ! sil5t grave1 s evid5tly z at ?is "t4 ,& yet ,i felt exce$+ly tranquil2 my m9d 0 compos$ & calm1 & dea? appe>$ )\t a /+4 ,i ?9k ,i nev] felt su* an univ]sal mortification to all creat$ objects z n[4 ,o1 h[ great & solemn a ?+ x appe>$ to die6 ,o1 h[ x lays ! greate/ honor 9 ! du/6 ,& ,o1 h[ va9 & trifl+ did ! ri*es1 honors1 & pleasures ( ! _w appe>6 ,i c\ld n1 ,i d>e n s mu* z ?9k ( any ( !m2 = dea?1 dea? appe>$ at ! door4 ,o1 ,i c\ld see myself dead1 & laid out1 & inclos$ 9 my c(f91 & put d[n into ! cold grave1 ) ! greate/ solemnity1 b )\t t]ror6 ,i sp5t mo/ ( ! ev5+ 9 conv]s+ ) a de> ,*ri/ian fri5d4 ,bless$ be ,god = ! com=ts ( ! pa/ day4 ,feb4 #ae4--8,0 engag$ 9 writ+ almo/ ! :ole day4 ,9 ! ev5+ 0 mu* assi/$ 9 m$itat+ on t preci\s text1 ,john1 #g3cg4 #8,jesus /ood & cri$1' c4 ,i _h !n a sweet s5se ( ! free grace ( ! gospel2 my s\l 0 enc\rag$1 w>m$1 & quick5$4 ,my desires 7 drawn out aft] ,god 9 pray]2 & my s\l 0 wat*ful1 afraid ( los+ su* a gue/ z ,i !n ent]ta9$4 ,i cont9u$ long 9 pray] & m$itation1 int]mix+ "o ) ! o!r2 & 0 unwill+ to be div]t$ by any ?+ at all f s sweet an ex]cise4 ,i long$ to proclaim ! grace ,i !n m$itat$ ^u1 to ! _w ( s9n]s4 ,o h[ quick & p[]ful is ! ^w ( ! bless$ ,god4 ,"l's day1 ,feb4 #ag4--8,prea*$ to ! :ite p my int]pret] be+ abs5t1 9 ! wild]ness1 ^u ! sunny side ( a hill2 _h a consid]able assembly1 consi/+ ( p :o liv$1 at lea/ _m ( !m1 n less ?an ?irty miles asund]2 "s ( !m came ne> tw5ty miles4 ,i disc\rs$ to !m all day1 f ,john1 #g3cg4 #8,jesus /ood & cri$1 say+1 t if any man ?ir/1' c4 ,9 ! aft]noon1 x pleas$ ,god to grant me great fre$om & f]v5cy 9 my disc\rse & ,i 0 enabl$ to imitate ! example ( ,*ri/ 9 ! text1 :o /ood & cri$4 ,i ?9k ,i 0 sc>ce ev] enabl$ to exhibit ! free grace ( ,god to p]i%+ s9n]s ) m fre$om & pla9ness 9 my life4 ,aft]w>d1 ,i 0 enabl$ e>ne/ly to invite ! *ildr5 ( ,god to come r5ew$ly1 & dr9k ( ?is f\nta9 ( ! wat] ( life1 f :5ce !y h h]et(ore d]iv$ unspeakable satisfaction4 ,x 0 a v com=table "t to me4 ,!re 7 _m te>s 9 ! assembly2 & ,i d\bt n b t ! ,_s ( ,god 0 !re1 conv9c+ poor s9n]s ( _! ne$ ( ,*ri/4 ,9 ! ev5+ ,i felt compos$ & com=table1 ?\gh mu* tir$4 ,i _h "s sweet s5se ( ! excell5cy & glory ( ,god2 my s\l rejoic$ t he 0 #8,god ov] all1 bless$ = ev]2' b 0 too mu* cr[d$ ) company & conv]sation1 & long$ to be m alone ) ,god4 ,o t ,i c\ld = ev] bless ,god = ! m]cy ( ?is day1 :o #8answ]$ me 9 ! joy ( my he>t4' ,"l's day1 ,feb4 #bd4--8;,9 ! morn+ 0 mu* p]plex$4 ,my int]pret] be+ abs5t1 ,i knew n h[ to p]=m my "w among ! ,indians4 ,h[ev]1 ,i rode to !m1 got a ,dut*man to int]pret = me1 ?\gh he 0 b poorly qualifi$ = ! bus9ess4 ,aft]w>d ,i came & prea*$ to a few :ite p1 f ,john1 #f3fg4 ,"h ! ,"l seem$ to unburd5 me 9 "s measure1 especially t[>d ! close ( my disc\rse3 ,i felt fre$om to op5 ! love ( ,*ri/ to 8 own de> disciples4 ,:5 ! re/ ( ! _w =sake him1 & are =sak5 by him1 he !n turns to 8 own1 & says1 ,w ye also g away8 ,i _h a s5se ( ! free grace ( ,*ri/ to 8 own p1 9 su* seasons ( g5]al apo/acy1 & :5 !y !mselves 9 "s measure backslide ) ! _w4 ,o ! free grace ( ,*ri/1 t he seasonably rem9ds 8 p ( _! dang] ( backslid+1 & invites !m to p]sev]e 9 _! adh]5ce to himself6 ,i saw t backslid+ s\ls1 :o seem$ to be ab\t to g away ) ! _w1 might return1 & be welcome1 to him imm$iately2 )\t any ?+ to recomm5d !m2 not)/&+ all _! =m] backslid+s4 ,?us my disc\rse 0 suit$ to my own s\l's case2 = ( late1 ,i h f\nd a great want ( ?is s5se & appreh5sion ( div9e grace2 & h (t5 be5 greatly di/ress$ 9 my own s\l1 because ,i did n suitably appreh5d ?is f\nta9 op5$ to purge away s92 & h be5 too mu* labor+ = spiritual life1 peace ( consci5ce1 & progressive hol9ess1 9 my own /r5g?4 ,n[ ,god %[$ me1 9 "s measure1 ! arm ( all /r5g?1 & ! f\nta9 ( all grace4 ,9 ! ev5+1 ,i felt solemn1 re/+ on free grace = assi/ance1 acceptance1 & peace ( consci5ce4 ,m>* #f4--8,sp5t mo/ ( ! day 9 prep>+ = a j\rney to ,new-,engl&2 & sometime 9 pray] ) a special ref]5ce to x4 ,0 afraid ,i %\ld =sake ! ,f\nta9 ( liv+ wat]s1 & attempt to d]ive satisfaction f brok5 ci/]ns1 my de> fri5ds & acqua9tance1 :om ,i might meet 9 my j\rney4 ,i look$ to ,god to keep me f ?is vanity z well z o!rs4 ,t[>d night1 & 9 ! ev5+1 0 visit$ by "s fri5ds1 "s ( :om ,i tru/ 7 real ,*ri/ians2 :o discov]$ an affectionate reg>d to me1 & seem$ griev$ t ,i 0 ab\t to leave !m2 especially z ,i did n expect to make any consid]able /ay among !m1 if ,i %\ld live to return4,f ,o h[ k9d has ,god be5 to me6 h[ he has rais$ up fri5ds 9 e place :]e 8 provid5ce has call$ me6 ,fri5ds are a great com=t2 & x is ,god :o gives !m2 x is ,he :o makes !m fri5dly to me4 #8,bless ! ,"l1 my s\l1 & =get n all 8 b5efits4'0 ,footnote ,f3 ,x seems by :at aft]w>d appe>s1 t he _h a design to remove & live among ! ,indians on ! ,susquehanna riv]4 ,! next day he set out on 8 j\rney2 & x 0 ab\t five weeks be=e he return$4 ,! special design ( ?is j\rney1 he himself decl>es aft]w>d1 9 8 di>y = ,m>* #ba1 :]e1 speak+ ( 8 conv]s+ ) a c]ta9 m9i/] 9 ,new-,engl&1 he says1 8,contriv$ ) him h[ to raise "s money among ,*ri/ian fri5ds1 9 ord] to support a colleague ) me 9 ! wild]ness1 7,i hav+ n[ sp5t two ye>s 9 a v solit>y mann]17 t we might be toge!r3 z ,*ri/ s5t out 8 disciples two & two2 & z ?is 0 ! pr9cipal conc]n ,i _h 9 view1 9 tak+ ?is j\rney1 s ,i took pa9s 9 x1 & hope ,god w succe$ x1 if = 8 glory40 ,he fir/ w5t into v>i\s p>ts ( ,new-,j]sey1 & visit$ sev]al m9i/]s !re2 !n w5t to ,new-,york2 & f !nce into ,new-,engl&1 go+ to v>i\s p>ts ( ,connecticut4 ,he !n return$ to ,new-,j]sey1 & met a numb] ( m9i/]s at ,woodbridge1 8:o10 he says 8met !re to consult ab\t ! affairs ( ,*ri/'s k+dom40 ,he seems1 = ! mo/ "p1 to h be5 free f melan*oly 9 ?is j\rney2 & _m times to h _h extraord9>y assi/ance 9 public m9i/rations1 & 8 prea*+ 0 sometimes att5d$ ) v hopeful appe>ances ( a good effect on ! auditory4 ,he also _h _m seasons ( special com=t & spiritual refre%m5t1 9 conv]sation ) m9i/]s & o!r ,*ri/ian fri5ds1 & also 9 m$itation & pray] :5 alone4 ,april #ac4--8,rode home to my own h\se at ! ,=ks ( ,delaw>e2 0 enabl$ to rememb] ! goodness ( ! ,"l1 :o has n[ pres]v$ me :ile rid+ full six hundr$ miles 9 ?is j\rney2 & kept me t none ( my bones h be5 brok54 ,bless$ be ! ,"l1 :o has pres]v$ me 9 ?is t$i\s j\rney1 & return$ me 9 safety to my own h\se4 ,v]ily x is ,god :o has upheld me1 & gu>d$ my go+s4 ,"l's day1 ,april #ad4--8,0 disord]$ 9 body ) ! fatigues ( ! late j\rney2 b 0 enabl$ h[ev] to prea* to a consid]able assembly ( :ite p1 ga!r$ f all p>ts r\nd ab\t1 ) "s fre$om1 f ,ezek4 #cc3aa4 #8,z ,i live sai? ! ,"l1' c4 ,_h mu* m assi/ance ?an ,i expect$40 ,?is week he w5t a j\rney to ,philadelphia1 9 ord] to engage ! ,gov]nor to use 8 int]e/ ) ! *ief ( ! ,six ,nations1 ) :om he ma9ta9$ a /rict fri5d%ip1 t he w\ld give him leave to live at ,susquehanna1 & in/ruct ! ,indians :o are )9 _! t]ritories4 ,april #bf4--8;,conv]s$ ) a ,*ri/ian fri5d ) "s w>m?2 & felt a _s ( mortification to ! _w1 9 a v great degree4 ,aft]w>d1 0 enabl$ to pray f]v5tly1 & to rely on ,god sweetly1 = #8all ?+s p]ta9+ to life & godl9ess4' ,j 9 ! ev5+1 0 visit$ by a de> ,*ri/ian fri5d1 ) :om ,i sp5t an h\r or two 9 conv]sation1 on ! v s\l ( religion4 ,!re are _m ) :om ,i c talk ab\t religion2 b alas6 ,i f9d few ) :om ,i c talk religion itself2 b1 bless$ be ! ,"l !re are "s t love to fe$ on ! k]nel1 r ?an ! %ell4 ,april #cj4--8,0 sc>ce able to walk ab\t1 & 0 oblig$ to betake myself to b$ mu* ( ! day2 & pass$ away ! "t 9 a v solit>y mann]2 be+ nei!r able to read1 m$itate1 nor pray1 & _h none to conv]se ) 9 ?is wild]ness4 ,o h[ heavily does "t pass away :5 ,i c d no?+ to any good purpose2 b seem oblig$ to trifle away preci\s "t6 ,b ( late ,i h se5 x my duty to div]t myself by all lawful means1 t ,i may be fit1 at lea/ "s small "p ( my "t1 to labor = ,god4 ,& "h is ! diff]5ce betwe5 my pres5t div]sions1 & ^? ,i once pursu$1 :5 9 a natural /ate4 ,!n ,i made a ,god ( my div]sions1 delight$ 9 !m ) a neglect ( ,god1 & drew my highe/ satisfaction f !m4 ,n[ ,i use !m z means to help me 9 liv+ to ,god2 fix$ly delight+ 9 him1 & n 9 !m1 draw+ my highe/ satisfaction f him4 ,!n !y 7 my all2 n[ !y are only means lead+ to my all4 ,& ^? ?+s t are ! greate/ div]sion1 :5 pursu$ ) ?is view1 d n t5d to h9d]1 b promote my spirituality2 & ,i see n[1 m ?an ev]1 t !y are absolutely necess>y4 ,may #b4--8;,9 ! ev5+1 be+ a little bett] 9 heal?1 ,i walk$ into ! woods1 & enjoy$ a sweet season ( m$itation & pray]4 ,my ?\ghts ran ^u ,psalm #ag3ae4 #8,i %all be satisfi$1 :5 ,i awake1 ) ?y lik5ess4' ,& x 0 inde$ a preci\s text to me4 ,i long$ to prea* to ! :ole _w2 & x seem$ to me !y mu/ ne$s all be melt$ 9 he>+ su* preci\s div9e tru?s z ,i !n _h a view (4 ,my ?\ghts 7 exce$+ cle>1 & my s\l 0 refre%$4 ,bless$ be ! ,"l1 t 9 my late & pres5t weakness1 n[ = _m days toge!r1 my m9d is n gloomy1 z at "s o!r times4 ,may #g4--8,sp5t ! day ma9ly 9 mak+ prep>ation = a j\rney into ! wild]ness4 ,0 /ill weak1 & conc]n$ h[ ,i %\ld p]=m s difficult a j\rney2 b want$ bodily /r5g? to sp5d ! day 9 fa/+ & pray]40 ,! next day he set out on 8 j\rney to ! ,susquehanna1 ) 8 int]pret]4 ,he endur$ great h>d%ips & fatigues 9 8 way ?i!r ?r\gh ! wild]ness2 :]e1 aft] hav+ lodg$ "o night 9 ! op5 woods1 he 0 ov]tak5 ) a nor?-ea/]ly /orm1 9 :i* he 0 ready to p]i%4 ,hav+ no mann] ( %elt]1 & n be+ able to make a fire 9 s great a ra91 he c\ld h no com=t if he /opp$2 he !re=e det]m9$ to g =w>d 9 hope ( meet+ ) "s %elt]1 )\t :i* he ?\ght x impossible to live ! night ?r\gh2 b _! horses happ5+ to eat poison1 = ! want ( o!r food1 at a place :]e !y lodg$ ! night be=e1 7 s sick t !y c\ld nei!r ride nor lead !m1 b 7 oblig$ to drive !m & travel on foot2 until1 ?r\gh ! m]cy ( ,god1 j at dusk !y came to a b>k hut1 :]e !y lodg$ t night4 ,aft] he came to ! ,susquehanna he travel$ ab\t a hundr$ miles on ! riv]1 & visit$ _m t[ns & settlem5ts ( ! ,indians2 saw "s ( sev5 or eight tribes1 & prea*$ to diff]5t nations1 by diff]5t int]pret]s4 ,he 0 sometimes mu* disc\rag$1 & sunk 9 8 spirits1 ?r\gh ! opposition :i* appe>$ 9 ! ,indians to ,*ri/ianity4 ,at o!r times he 0 enc\rag$ by ! disposition :i* "s ( ^! p manife/$ to he>1 & _! will+ness to be in/ruct$4 ,he "h met ) "s :o _h =m]ly be5 8 he>]s at ,kaunaumeek1 & _h remov$ hi!r2 :o saw & he>d him aga9 ) great joy4 ,he sp5t a =tnight among ! ,indians on ?is riv]1 & pass$ ?r\gh _m labors & h>d%ips1 lodg+ on ! gr\nd = sev]al weeks1 & sometimes 9 ! op5 air4 ,at l5g? he became extremely ill1 z he 0 rid+ 9 ! wild]ness1 be+ seiz$ ) an ague1 foll[$ ) a burn+ fev] & extreme pa9s 9 8 head & b[els1 att5d$ ) a great evacuation ( blood2 s t he ?\ght he mu/ h p]i%$ 9 ! wild]ness4 ,b at la/ com+ to an ,indian trad]'s hut1 he got leave to /ay !re2 & ?\gh )\t physic or food prop] = him1 x pleas$ ,god1 aft] ab\t a week's di/ress1 to relieve him s f> t he 0 able to ride4 ,he return$ homew>d f ,juncauta1 an isl& f> d[n ! riv]1 :]e 7 a consid]able numb] ( ,indians1 :o appe>$ m free f prejudices aga9/ ,*ri/ianity ?an mo/ ( ! o!r ,indians2 & arriv$ at ! ,=ks ( ,delaw>e on ,?ursday1 ,may #cj1 aft] hav+ rode 9 ?is j\rney ab\t ?ree hundr$ & =ty miles4 ,he came home 9 a v week /ate1 & "u dejection ( m9d2 :i* 0 a great h9drance to him 9 religi\s ex]cises4 ,h[ev]1 on ! ,sabba?1 aft] hav+ prea*$ to ! ,indians1 he prea*$ to ! :ite p ) "s success1 f ,isaiah1 #ec3aj4 8,yet x pleas$ ! ,"l to bruise him10 c4 "s be+ awak5$ by 8 prea*+4 ,! next day he 0 mu* ex]cis$ = want ( spiritual life & f]v5cy4 ,june #e4--8;,felt ?ir/+ desires aft] ,god1 9 ! morn+4 ,9 ! ev5+1 enjoy$ a preci\s season ( retirem5t3 0 favor$ ) "s cle> & sweet m$itations ^u a sacr$ text2 div9e ?+s op5$ ) cle>ness & c]ta9ty1 & _h a div9e /amp ^u !m4 ,my s\l 0 also enl>g$ & refre%$ 9 pray]2 ,i delight$ to cont9ue 9 ! duty2 & 0 sweetly assi/$ 9 pray+ = my fell[ ,*ri/ians1 & de> bre?r5 9 ! m9i/ry4 ,bless$ be ! de> ,"l = su* enjoym5ts4 ,o h[ sweet & preci\s x is to h a cle> appreh5sion & t5d] s5se ( ! my/]y ( godl9ess1 ( true hol9ess1 & ( lik5ess to ! be/ ( be+s6 ,o :at a bless$ness x is to be z mu* l ,god z x is possible = a creature to be l 8 great ,creator6 ,"l give me m ( ?y lik5ess2 #8,i %all be satisfi$1 :5 ,i awake1 ) x4'0 ,on ,friday1 ,june #g1 he w5t a j\rney ( ne> fifty miles1 to ,ne%am9y1 to assi/ at a sacram5tal occasion1 to be att5d$ at ,mr4 ,beatty's meet+-h\se2 be+ invit$ ?i!r by him & 8 p4 ,june #h4--8,0 exce$+ly weak & fatigu$ ) rid+ 9 ! heat ye/]day2 b be+ desir$1 ,i prea*$ 9 ! aft]noon1 to a cr[d$ audi5ce1 f ,isaiah1 #dj3a4 #8,com=t ye1 com=t ye my p1 sai? y\r ,god4' ,god 0 pleas$ to give me great fre$om1 9 op5+ ! sorr[s ( 8 p1 & 9 sett+ be=e !m com=t+ consid]ations4 ,&1 bless$ be ! ,"l1 x 0 a sweet melt+ season 9 ! assembly4 ,"l's day1 ,june #i4--8;,felt "s long+ desires ( ! pres5ce ( ,god to be ) 8 p on ! solemn occasion ( ! day4 ,9 ! =5oon ,mr4 ,beatty prea*$2 & !re appe>$ "s w>m? 9 ! assembly4 ,aft]w>d1 ,i assi/$ 9 ! adm9i/ration ( ! ,"l's supp]3 & t[>d ! close ( x1 ,i disc\rs$ to ! multitude extempore1 ) "s ref]5ce to t sacr$ passage1 ,isaiah1 #ec3aj4 #8,yet x pleas$ ! ,"l to bruise him4' ,"h ,god gave me great assi/ance 9 address+ s9n]s3 & ! ^w 0 att5d$ ) amaz+ p[]3 _m scores1 if n hundr$s1 9 t great assembly1 consi/+ ( ?ree or f\r ?\s&1 7 mu* affect$2 s t !re 0 a #8v great m\rn+1 l ! m\rn+ ( ,hadadrimmon4' ,june #aj4--8,prea*$ ) a good degree ( cle>ness & "s sweet w>m? f ,psalm #ag3ae4 #8,i %all be satisfi$1 :5 ,i awake1 ) ?y lik5ess4' ,& bless$ be ,god1 !re 0 a great solemnity1 & att5tion 9 ! assembly1 & sweet refre%m5t among ,god's p2 z 0 evid5t !n & aft]w>d4 ,june #aa4--8,sp5t ! day ma9ly 9 conv]sation ) de> ,*ri/ian fri5ds2 & enjoy$ "s sweet s5se ( div9e ?+s4 ,o h[ desirable x is to keep company ) ,god's de> *ildr56 #8,^! are ! excell5t ones ( ! e>?1' 9 :om1 ,i c truly say #8is all my delight4' ,o :at delight w x af=d1 to meet !m all 9 a /ate ( p]fection6 ,"l prep>e me = t /ate4 ,june #ah4--8,set out f ,new-,brunswick ) a design to visit "s ,indians at a place call$ ,crossweeksung1 9 ,new-,j]sey1 t[>d ! sea4 ,9 ! aft]noon1 came to a place call$ ,cranb]ry1 & meet+ ) a s]i\s m9i/]1 ,mr4 ,macknight1 ,i lodg$ !re ) him4 ,_h "s enl>gem5t & fre$om 9 pray] ) a numb] ( p40 ,illu/ration3 ,view ( ! ,creek & ,village ( ,crosswicks1 ,new ,j]sey1 ,july1 #ahcc4 ,,*apt] ,,vii4 ,be+ "p #a/ ( 8 public j\rnal ( 8! ,rise & ,progress ( a rem>kable "w ( grace among ! ,indians 9 ,new-,j]sey & ,p5nsylvania1 kept by ord] ( ! ,society 9 ,scotl& = propagat+ ,*ri/ian k40--,comm5cem5t ( 8 labors at ,crossweeksung4--,r5ewal ( labor at ! ,=ks ( ,delaw>e4--,conv]sion ( 8 ,int]pret]4--,return to ,crossweeksung4--,outp\r+ ( ! _s4--,visit to ! ,=ks ( ,delaw>e & ! ,susquehanna4--,a ,p[aw4--,a ,conjur]4--,r5ewal ( labor at ,crossweeksung4--,rem>ks on ! works ( ,div9e ,grace4 ,june #ai4--,nov4 #e1 #agde4 ,we are n[ come to t "p ( ,bra9]d's ,life1 :5 he _h ! greate/ success 9 8 labors = ! good ( s\ls1 & 9 8 p>ticul> bus9ess z a mission>y to ! ,indians4 ,aft] all 8 agoniz+ 9 pray]1 & travail+ 9 bir? = _! conv]sion--8 rais$ hopes & expectations1 disappo9tm5ts & enc\ragem5ts2 aft] pant+ 9 a way ( p]sev]+ pray]1 labor1 & suff]+1 z x 7 ?r\gh a long night2 at l5g? ! day dawns3 8,weep+ cont9ues = a night1 b joy comes 9 ! morn+40 ,he w5t =? weep+1 8be>+ preci\s se$10 b n[ he comes 8) rejoic+1 br++ 8 %eaves ) him40 ,! desir$ ev5t is br\ght to pass at la/2 b at a "t1 9 a place1 & ^u subjects1 t sc>ce ev] ent]$ 8 he>t4 8,crossweeksung1 9 ,new-,j]sey1 ,june #ag1 #agde4 ,june #ai4--8;,i _h sp5t mo/ ( my "t = m ?an a ye> pa/ among ! ,indians at ! ,=ks ( ,delaw>e1 9 ,p5nsylvania4 ,dur+ t "t ,i made two j\rnies to ! ,susquehanna1 to treat ) ! ,indians on t riv] respect+ ,*ri/ianity2 & n hav+ _h any consid]able appe>ance ( special success 9 ei!r ( ^? places1 my spirits 7 depress$1 & ,i 0 n a little disc\rag$4 ,he>+ t !re 7 a numb] ( ,indians at a place call$ ,crossweeksung1 9 ,new-,j]sey1 ne>ly eighty miles s\? ea/ f ! ,=ks ( ,delaw>e1 ,i det]m9$ to make !m a visit1 & see :at might be done t[>d *ri/ianiz+ !m2 & accord+ly arriv$ among !m ?is day4 8,i f\nd v few p]sons at ! place ,i visit$1 & p]ceiv$ t ! ,indians 9 ^! p>ts 7 v mu* scatt]$4 ,!re 7 n m ?an two or ?ree families 9 a place2 & ^! small settlem5ts 7 six1 t51 fifte51 tw5ty1 or ?irty miles1 & "s m f t place4 ,h[ev]1 ,i prea*$ to ^? few ,i f\nd2 :o appe>$ well dispos$1 s]i\s & att5tive1 & n incl9$ to cavil & object1 z ! ,indians _h done else:]e4 ,:5 ,i _h conclud$ my disc\rse1 ,i in=m$ !m 7!re be+ none b a few wom5 & *ildr57 t ,i w\ld will+ly visit !m aga9 ! next day4 ,:]eupon !y readily set out & travel$ t5 or fifte5 miles1 9 ord] to give notice to "s ( _! fri5ds at t di/ance4 ,^! wom51 l ! woman ( ,sam>ia1 seem$ desir\s t o!rs %\ld see ! man :o _h told !m :at !y _h done 9 _! pa/ lives1 & ! mis]y t att5d$ _! idolatr\s ways4 ,june #bj4--8,visit$ & prea*$ to ! ,indians aga9 z ,i propos$4 ,numb]s 7 ga!r$ at ! invitations ( _! fri5ds1 :o _h he>d me ! day be=e4 ,^! also appe>$ z att5tive1 ord]ly & well dispos$1 z ! o!rs3 & none made any objections1 z ,indians 9 o!r places h usually done4 ,june #bb4--8,prea*$ to ! ,indians aga94 ,_! numb]1 :i* at fir/ consi/$ ( sev5 or eight p]sons1 0 n[ increas$ to ne>ly ?irty4 ,!re 0 n only a solemn att5tion among !m1 b "s consid]able impression1 x 0 app>5t1 0 made ^u _! m9ds by div9e tru?4 ,"s began to feel _! mis]y1 & p]i%+ /ate1 & appe>$ conc]n$ = a deliv]ance f x4 ,"l's day1 ,june #bc4--8,prea*$ to ! ,indians1 & sp5t ! day ) !m4 ,_! numb] /ill increas$2 & all ) "o cons5t1 seem$ to rejoice 9 my com+ among !m4 ,n a ^w ( opposition 0 he>d f any ( !m aga9/ ,*ri/ianity1 al?\gh 9 times pa/ !y _h be5 z mu* oppos$ to any ?+ ( t nature z any ,indians :atsoev]4 ,"s ( !m1 n _m mon?s be=e1 7 enrag$ ) my ,int]pret] because he attempt$ to tea* !m some?+ ( ,*ri/ianity4 ,june #bd4--8,prea*$ to ! ,indians at _! desire & ^u _! own motion4 ,to see poor ,pagans desir\s ( he>+ ! gospel ( ,*ri/1 animat$ me to disc\rse to !m2 al?\gh ,i 0 n[ v weak1 & my spirits mu* exhau/$4 ,!y att5d$ ) ! greate/ s]i\sness & dilig5ce2 & "s conc]n = _! s\l's salvation 0 app>5t among !m4 ,june #bg4--8,visit$ & prea*$ to ! ,indians aga94 ,_! numb] n[ am\nt$ to ab\t =ty p]sons4 ,_! solemnity & att5tion /ill cont9u$1 & a consid]able conc]n = _! s\ls became v app>5t among numb]s ( !m4 ,june #bh4--8,! ,indians be+ n[ ga!r$1 a consid]able numb] ( !m1 f _! sev]al & di/ant habitations1 reque/$ me to prea* twice a day to !m2 be+ desir\s to he> z mu* z !y possibly c\ld :ile ,i 0 ) !m4 ,i *e]fully compli$ ) _! reque/1 & c\ld n b admire ! goodness ( ,god1 :o ,i 0 p]suad$ _h incl9$ !m ?us to inquire aft] ! way ( salvation4 ,june #bi4--8,prea*$ twice to ! ,indians4 ,saw1 z ,i ?\ght1 ! h& ( ,god v evid5tly1 & 9 a mann] some:at rem>kable1 mak+ provision = _! subsi/5ce toge!r1 9 ord] to _! be+ in/ruct$ 9 div9e ?+s2 = ?is day1 & ! day be=e1 ) only walk+ a little way f ! place ( our daily meet+1 !y kill$ ?ree de]1 :i* 7 a seasonable supply = _! wants1 & )\t :i*1 !y c\ld n h subsi/$ toge!r 9 ord] to att5d ! means ( grace4 ,"l's day1 ,june #cj4--8,prea*$ twice ?is day also4 ,obs]v$ yet m conc]n & affection among ! poor hea!n ?an ev]2 s t !y ev5 con/ra9$ me to t>ry yet long] ) !m1 al?\gh my con/itution 0 exce$+ly worn out1 & my heal? mu* impair$ by my late fatigues & labors2 & especially by my late j\rney to ! ,susquehanna 9 ,may la/1 9 :i* ,i lodg$ on ! gr\nd = sev]al weeks toge!r4 ,july #a4--8,prea*$ aga9 twice to a v s]i\s & att5tive assembly ( ,indians2 !y hav+ n[ le>n$ to att5d on ! wor%ip ( ,god ) ,*ri/ian dec5cy 9 all respects4 ,!re 7 n[ betwe5 =ty & fifty p]sons ( !m pres5t1 old & "y4 ,i sp5t a consid]able "t 9 disc\rs+ ) !m 9 a m private way2 inquir+ ( !m :at !y rememb]$ ( ! great tru?s :i* _h be5 taught !m f day to day2 & may ju/ly say1 x 0 amaz+ to see h[ !y _h receiv$ & reta9$ ! in/ructions giv5 !m1 & :at a measure ( k "s ( !m _h acquir$ 9 a few days4 ,july #b4--8,0 oblig$ to leave ^! ,indians at ,crossweeksung1 ?9k+ x my duty1 z soon z heal? w\ld admit1 aga9 to visit ^? at ! ,=ks ( ,delaw>e4 ,:5 ,i came to take leave ( !m1 & to speak p>ticul>ly to ea* ( !m1 !y all e>ne/ly inquir$ :5 ,i w\ld come aga91 & express$ a great desire ( be+ fur!r in/ruct$4 ,( _! own accord !y agre$1 t1 :5 ,i %\ld come aga91 !y w\ld all meet & live toge!r dur+ my cont9uance ) !m2 & t !y w\ld use _! utmo/ endeavors to ga!r all ! o!r ,indians 9 ^! p>ts :o 7 yet m remote4 ,:5 ,i p>t$ f !m1 "o told me1 ) _m te>s1 #8,%e wi%$ ,god w\ld *ange h] he>t2' ano!r1 t #8%e want$ to f9d ,*ri/2' & an old man :o _h be5 "o ( _! *iefs1 wept bitt]ly ) conc]n = 8 s\l4 ,i !n promis$ !m to return z spe$ily z my heal? & bus9ess else:]e w\ld p]mit1 & felt n a little conc]n at p>t+1 le/ ! good impressions1 !n app>5t ^u numb]s ( !m1 might decl9e & we> (f1 :5 ! means came to cease4 ,yet ,i c\ld n b hope1 t ,he1 :o ,i tru/$ _h begun a good "w among !m1 & :o ,i knew did n /& 9 ne$ ( means to c>ry x on1 w\ld ma9ta9 & promote x4 ,at ! same "t1 ,i mu/ confess1 t ,i _h (t5 se5 enc\rag+ appe>ances among ! ,indians else:]e1 prove :olly abortive1 & x appe>$ t ! favor w\ld be too great1 if ,god %\ld n[1 aft] ,i _h pass$ ?r\gh s consid]able a s]ies ( almo/ fruitless labors & fatigues1 & aft] my ris+ hopes _h be5 s (t5 fru/rat$ among ^! poor pagans1 give me any special success 9 my labors ) !m1 ,i c\ld n believe1 & sc>cely d>$ to hope1 t ! ev5t w\ld be s happy2 & sc>cely ev] f\nd myself m susp5d$ betwe5 hope & fe> 9 any affair1 or at any "t1 ?an 9 ?is4 8,?is enc\rag+ disposition1 & read9ess to receive in/ruction1 n[ app>5t among ! ,indians1 seems to h be5 ! happy effect ( ! conviction :i* "o or two ( !m met )1 "s "t s9ce1 at ! ,=ks ( ! ,delaw>e2 :o h s9ce endeavor$ to %[ _! fri5ds ! evil ( idolatry4 ,?\gh ! o!r ,indians seem$ b little to reg>d1 & r to d]ide !m2 yet ?is1 p]haps1 has put !m into a ?9k+ po/ure ( m9d1 or at lea/ giv5 !m "s ?\ghts ab\t ,*ri/ianity1 & excit$ 9 "s ( !m a curiosity to he>2 & s made way = ! pres5t enc\rag+ att5tion4 ,an appreh5sion t ?is might be ! case "h1 has giv5 me enc\ragem5t t ,god may1 9 su* a mann]1 bless ! means :i* ,i h us$ ) ! ,indians 9 o!r places2 :]e1 z yet !re is no appe>ance ( x4 ,if s1 may 8 "n h ! glory ( x2 = ,i h le>nt1 by exp]i5ce1 t he only c op5 ! e>1 engage ! att5tion1 & incl9e ! he>ts ( poor b5ight$1 prejudic$ pagans1 to receive in/ruction40 ,=ks ( ,delaw>e1 9 ,p5nsylvania1 ,july1 #agde4 ,"l's day1 ,july #ad4--8;,disc\rs$ to ! ,indians twice4 ,sev]al ( !m appe>$ conc]n$1 & 71 ,i h reason to ?9k1 9 "s measure conv9c$1 by ! ,div9e ,_s1 ( _! s9 & mis]y2 s t !y wept mu* ! :ole "t ( div9e s]vice4 ,aft]w>d disc\rs$ to a numb] ( :ite p !n pres5t4 ,july #ah4--8,prea*$ to my p1 :o att5d$ dilig5tly beyond :at _h be5 common among ^! ,indians2 & "s ( !m appe>$ conc]n$ = _! s\ls4 ,"l's day1 ,july #ba4--8,prea*$ to ! ,indians fir/1 !n to a numb] ( :ite p pres5t2 & 9 ! aft]noon to ! ,indians aga94 ,div9e tru? seem$ to make v consid]able impressions ^u sev]al ( !m1 & caus$ ! te>s to fl[ freely4 8,on ?is day my int]pret] & 8 wife publicly pr(ess$ _! fai? 9 ,*ri/1 be+ ! fir/ hopeful conv]ts among ! ,indians4 ,!y h bo? be5 awak5$ to a solemn conc]n = _! s\ls2 h1 to appe>ance1 be5 br\ght to a s5se ( _! mis]y & undon5ess 9 !mselves2 h bo? appe>$ to be com=t$ ) div9e consolations2 & x is app>5t t bo? h pass$ a great1 & ,i _c b hope1 a sav+ *ange4 8,x may p]haps be satisfactory & agreeable1 t ,i %\ld give "s ,,brief ,,relation ,,( ,,?is ,,man',s ,,ex]cises ,,& ,,exp]i5ce s9ce he has be5 ) me2 especially s9ce he is employ$ z my int]pret] to o!rs4 ,:5 ,i fir/ employ$ him 9 ?is bus9ess1 9 ! beg9n+ ( ! summ] ( #agdd1 he 0 well fitt$ = 8 "w1 9 reg>d to 8 acqua9tance ) ! ,indian & ,engli% languages1 z well z ) ! mann]s ( bo? nations2 & 9 respect to 8 desire t ! ,indians %\ld con=m to ! mann]s & cu/oms ( ! ,engli%1 & especially to _! mann] ( liv+4 ,b he seem$ to h little or no impression ( religion ^u 8 m9d1 & 9 t respect 0 v unfit = 8 "w2 be+ incapable ( und]/&+ & communicat+ to o!rs _m ?+s ( importance1 s t ,i labor$ "u great disadvantages 9 address+ ! ,indians1 = want ( 8 hav+ an exp]im5tal1 z well z m doctr9al acqua9tance ) div9e tru?s2 &1 at times1 my spirits sunk1 & ,i 0 mu* disc\rag$ "u ?is difficulty2 especially :5 ,i obs]v$ t div9e tru? made little or no impression ^u 8 m9d = _m weeks toge!r4 ,he inde$ behav$ sob]ly aft] ,i employ$ him2 al?\gh be=e he _h be5 a h>d dr9k]1 & seem$ hone/ly engag$1 z f> z he 0 capable1 9 ! p]=mance ( 8 "w4 ,especially he appe>$ v desir\s t ! ,indians %\ld r5\nce _! hea!ni% notions & practices1 & con=m to ! cu/oms ( ! ,*ri/ian _w4 ,b /ill he seem$ to h no conc]n ab\t 8 own s\l1 until he _h be5 ) me a consid]able "t4 8,ne> ! latt] end ( ,july1 #agdd1 ,i prea*$ to an assembly ( :ite p1 ) m fre$om & f]v5cy ?an ,i c\ld possibly address ! ,indians )1 )\t _! hav+ fir/ obta9$ a great] measure ( doctr9al k4 ,at ?is "t he 0 pres5t1 & 0 some:at awak5$ to a conc]n = 8 s\l2 s t ! next day he disc\rs$ freely ) me ab\t 8 spiritual conc]ns1 & gave me an opportunity to use fur!r endeavors to fa/5 ! impressions ( 8 p]i%+ /ate ^u 8 m9d4 ,i c\ld pla9ly p]ceive1 = "s "t aft] ?is1 t he address$ ! ,indians ) m conc]n & f]v5cy ?an he _h =m]ly done4 8,b ^! impressions seem$ quickly to decl9e2 & he rema9$ 9 a great measure c>eless & secure1 until "s "t late 9 ! autumn ( ! ye> foll[+2 :5 he fell into a weak & langui%+ /ate ( body1 & cont9u$ mu* disord]$ = sev]al weeks toge!r4 ,at ?is season div9e tru? took hold ( him1 & made deep impressions ^u 8 m9d4 ,he 0 br\ght "u great conc]n = 8 s\l2 & 8 ex]cises 7 n n[ transi5t & un/eady1 b con/ant & abid+1 s t 8 m9d 0 burd5$ f day to day2 & x 0 n[ 8 great inquiry1 #8,:at he %\ld d to be sav$8' ,?is spiritual tr\ble prevail$1 until 8 sleep 9 a great measure dep>t$ f him1 & he _h little re/ day or night2 b walk$ ab\t "u great pressure ( m9d1 = he 0 /ill able to walk1 & appe>$ l ano!r man to 8 neighbors1 :o c\ld n b obs]ve 8 behavior ) wond]4 ,aft] he _h be5 "s "t "u ?is ex]cise1 :ile he 0 /riv+ to obta9 m]cy1 he says !re seem$ to be an impassable m\nta9 be=e him4 ,he 0 press+ t[>d heav51 z he ?\ght2 b #88 way 0 h$g$ up ) ?orns1 s t he c\ld n /ir an in* fur!r4' ,he look$ ?is way1 & t way1 b c\ld f9d no way at all4 ,he ?\ght if he c\ld b make 8 way ?r\gh ^! ?orns & bri]s1 & climb up ! fir/ /eep pit* ( ! m\nta91 t !n !re might be hope = him2 b no way or means c\ld he f9d to accompli% ?is4 ,"h he labor$ = a "t1 b all 9 va94 ,he saw x 0 impossible1 he says1 = him ev] to help himself ?r\gh ?is insupportable difficulty--#8,x signifi$ j no?+ at all = him to /ruggle & /rive any m4' ,"h1 he says1 he gave ov] /riv+1 & felt t x 0 a gone case ) him z to 8 own p[]1 & t all 8 attempts 71 & = ev] w\ld be1 va9 & fruitless4 ,yet he 0 m calm & compos$ "u ?is view ( ?+s1 ?an he _h be5 :ile /riv+ to help himself4 8,:ile he 0 giv+ me ?is acc\nt ( 8 ex]cises1 ,i 0 n )\t fe>s t :at he relat$ 0 b ! work+ ( 8 own imag9ation1 & n ! effect ( any div9e illum9ation ( m9d4 ,b be=e ,i _h "t to discov] my fe>s1 he add$1 t at ?is "t he felt himself 9 a mis]able & p]i%+ condition2 t he saw pla9ly :at he _h be5 do+ all 8 days2 & t he _h #8nev] done "o good ?+1' z he express$ x4 ,he knew he 0 n guilty ( "s wick$ actions ( :i* he knew "s o!rs guilty4 ,he _h n be5 accu/om$ to /eal1 qu>rel1 & murd]2 ! latt] ( :i* vices are common among ! ,indians4 ,he likewise knew t he _h done _m ?+s t 7 "r2 he _h be5 k9d to 8 neighbors1 c4 ,b /ill 8 cry 01 t #8he _h nev] done "o good ?+2' mean+ t he _h nev] done any ?+ f a "r pr9ciple1 & ) a "r view4 #8,& n[ ,i ?\ght1' said he1 #8t ,i mu/ s9k d[n to hell2 t !re 0 no hope = me1 because ,i nev] c\ld d any ?+ t 0 good3 & if ,god let me alone ev] s long1 & ,i %\ld try ev] s mu*1 /ill ,i %\ld d no?+ b :at is bad4' 8,?is fur!r acc\nt ( 8 ex]cises satisfi$ me t x 0 n ! m]e work+ ( 8 imag9ation1 s9ce he appe>$ s evid5tly to die to himself1 & to be divorc$ f a dep5d5ce ^u 8 own righte\sness & good de$s1 to :i* mank9d 9 a fall5 /ate are s mu* atta*$1 & ^u :i* !y are s ready to hope = salvation4 8,!re 0 "o ?+ m 9 8 view ( ?+s at ?is "t1 :i* 0 v rem>kable4 ,he n only saw1 he says1 :at a mis]able /ate he himself 0 92 b he likewise saw t ! _w ar\nd him1 9 g5]al1 7 9 ! same p]i%+ circum/ances1 not)/&+ ! pr(ession :i* _m ( !m made ( ,*ri/ianity1 & ! hope :i* !y ent]ta9$ ( obta9+ ev]la/+ happ9ess4 ,?is he saw cle>ly1 #8z if he 0 n[ wak$ out ( sleep1 or _h a cl\d tak5 f 8 eyes4' ,he saw t ! life :i* he _h liv$ 0 ! way to et]nal dea?1 t he 0 n[ on ! br9k ( endless mis]y2 & :5 he look$ ar\nd he saw multitudes ( o!rs1 :o _h liv$ ! same life ) himself1 p]sons :o _h no m goodness ?an he1 & yet dream$ t !y 7 safe en\gh1 z he _h =m]ly done4 ,he 0 fully p]suad$1 by _! conv]sation & behavior1 t !y _h nev] felt _! s9 & mis]y1 z he n[ felt 84 8,aft] he _h be5 = "s "t 9 ?is condition1 s5sible ( ! impossibility ( help+ himself by any ?+ he c\ld d1 or ( be+ deliv]$ by any creat$ arm2 s t he _h #8giv5 up all = lo/1' z to 8 own attempts1 & 0 become m calm & compos$2 !n1 he says1 x 0 borne 9 ^u 8 m9d1 z if x _h be5 audibly spok5 to him1 #8,!re is hope1 !re is hope4' ,:]eupon 8 s\l seem$ to re/1 & be 9 "s measure satisfi$1 ?\gh he _h no consid]able joy4 8,he _c "h rememb] di/9ctly any views he _h ( ,*ri/1 or give any cle> acc\nt ( 8 s\l's acceptance ( him1 :i* makes 8 exp]i5ce appe> ! m d\btful1 & r5d]s x less satisfactory to himself & o!rs ?an x might be if he c\ld rememb] di/9ctly ! appreh5sions & act+s ( 8 m9d at ?is season4 ,b ^! ex]cises ( s\l 7 att5d$ & foll[$ ) a v great *ange 9 ! man2 s t x might ju/ly be said he 0 become ano!r man1 if n a new man4 ,8 conv]sation & deportm5t 7 mu* alt]$2 & ev5 ! c>eless _w c\ld n b wond] :at _h befall5 him1 to make s great a *ange 9 8 temp]1 disc\rse1 & behavior4 ,especially !re 0 a surpris+ alt]ation 9 8 public p]=mances4 ,he n[ address$ ! ,indians ) admirable f]v5cy1 & sc>cely knew :5 to leave (f4 ,sometimes1 :5 ,i _h conclud$ my disc\rse & 0 return+ homew>d1 he w\ld t>ry beh9d to repeat & inculcate :at _h be5 spok54 8,8 *ange is abid+1 & 8 life1 s f> z ,i "k1 unblemi%$ to ?is day2 ?\gh x is n[ m ?an six mon?s s9ce he exp]i5c$ ?is *ange2 9 :i* space ( "t he has be5 z mu* expos$ to /rong dr9k z possible1 9 div]s places :]e x has be5 mov+ z free z wat]2 & yet has nev]1 t ,i "k (1 discov]$ any hank]+ desire aft] x4 ,he seems to h a v consid]able exp]i5ce ( spiritual ex]cise1 & disc\rses feel+ly ( ! conflicts & consolations ( a real ,*ri/ian4 ,8 he>t e*oes to ! s\l-humbl+ doctr9es ( grace1 & he nev] appe>s bett] pleas$ ?an :5 he he>s ( ! absolute sov]eignty ( ,god1 & ! salvation ( s9n]s 9 a way ( m]e free grace4 ,he has lately _h also m satisfaction respect+ 8 own /ate & has be5 mu* enlight5$ & assi/$ 9 8 "w2 s t he has be5 a great com=t to me4 8,aft] a /rict obs]vation ( 8 s]i\s & savory conv]sation1 8 *ri/ian temp]1 & unblemi%$ behavior = su* a l5g? ( "t1 z well z 8 exp]i5ce1 ( :i* ,i h giv5 an acc\nt2 ,i ?9k t ,i h reason to hope t he is #8creat$ anew 9 ,*ri/ ,jesus to good works4' ,8 "n is ,,moses ,,f9da ,,fautaury4 ,he is ab\t fifty ye>s ( age1 & is pretty well acqua9t$ ) ! pagan notions & cu/oms ( 8 c\ntrym52 & s is ! bett] able n[ to expose !m4 ,he has1 ,i am p]suad$1 already be51 & ,i tru/ w yet be1 a bless+ to ! o!r ,indians4 ,july #bc4--8,prea*$ to ! ,indians1 b _h few he>]s3 ,^? :o are con/antly at home1 seem1 ( late1 to be "u "s impressions ( a religi\s nature4 ,july #cj4--8;,disc\rs$ to a numb] ( my p1 & gave !m "s p>ticul> advice & direction2 be+ n[ ab\t to leave !m = ! pres5t1 9 ord] to r5ew my visit to ! ,indians 9 ,new-,j]sey4 ,!y 7 v att5tive to my disc\rse1 & e>ne/ly desir\s to "k :5 ,i design$ to return to !m aga940 ,crossweeksung1 7,new-,j]sey17 ,augu/1 #agde4 ,aug4 #c4--8;,i visit$ ! ,indians 9 ^! p>ts 9 ,june la/1 & t>ri$ ) !m a consid]able "t1 prea*+ almo/ daily2 at :i* season ,god 0 pleas$ to p\r ^u !m a _s ( awak5+ & conc]n = !m s\ls1 & surpris+ly to engage _! att5tion to div9e tru?s4 ,i n[ f\nd !m s]i\s1 & a numb] ( !m "u deep conc]n = an int]e/ 9 ,*ri/4 ,_! convictions ( _! s9ful & p]i%+ /ate 71 9 my abs5ce f !m1 mu* promot$ by ! labors & endeavors ( ,rev4 ,,william ,,t5n5t2 to :om ,i _h advis$ !m to apply = direction2 & ^: h\se !y frequ5t$ mu* :ile ,i 0 gone4 ,i prea*$ to !m ?is day ) "s view to ,rev4 #bb3ag4 #8,& :osoev] w1 let him take ( ! wat] ( life freely2' ?\gh ,i c\ld n pret5d to h&le ! subject me?odically among !m4 ,! ,"l1 ,i am p]suad$1 enabl$ me1 9 a mann] some:at uncommon1 to set be=e !m ! ,"l ,jesus ,*ri/ z a k9d & compassionate ,savior1 invit+ di/ress$ & p]i%+ s9n]s to accept ev]la/+ m]cy4 ,a surpris+ conc]n soon became app>5t among !m4 ,!re 7 ab\t tw5ty adult p]sons toge!r2 _m ( ! ,indians at remote places n hav+ z yet _h "t to come s9ce my return hi!r2 & n above two t ,i c\ld see ) dry eyes4 8,"s 7 mu* conc]n$1 & discov]$ vehem5t long+s ( s\l aft] ,*ri/1 to save !m f ! mis]y !y felt & fe>$4 ,"l's day1 ,aug4 #d4--8;,be+ invit$ by a neighbor+ m9i/] to assi/ 9 ! adm9i/ration ( ! ,"l's supp]1 ,i compli$ ) 8 reque/1 & took ! ,indians along ) me2 n only ^? :o 7 toge!r ! day be=e1 b _m m :o 7 com+ to he> me2 s t !re 7 ne>ly fifty 9 all1 old & "y4 ,!y att5d$ ! sev]al disc\rses ( ! day2 & "s ( !m1 :o c\ld und]/& ,engli%1 7 mu* affect$2 & all seem$ to h _! conc]n 9 "s measure rais$4 8,n[ a *ange 9 _! mann]s began to appe> v visible4 ,9 ! ev5+1 :5 !y came to sup toge!r !y w\ld n ta/e a morsel until !y _h s5t to me to come & supplicate a bless+ on _! food2 at :i* "t sundry ( !m wept2 especially :5 ,i rem9d$ !m h[ !y _h 9 times pa/ eat _! fea/s 9 honor to devils1 & neglect$ to ?ank ,god = !m4 ,augu/ #e4--8;,aft] a s]mon _h be5 prea*$ by ano!r m9i/]1 ,i prea*$1 & conclud$ ! public "w ( ! solemnity f ,john1 #g3cg2 & 9 my disc\rse address$ ! ,indians 9 p>ticul>1 :o sat 9 a "p ( ! h\se by !mselves2 at :i* "t "o or two ( !m 7 /ruck ) deep conc]n1 z !y aft]w>d told me1 :o _h be5 little affect$ be=e2 & o!rs _h _! conc]n increas$ to a consid]able degree4 ,9 ! ev5+1 ! great] "p ( !m be+ at ! h\se :]e ,i lodg$1 ,i disc\rs$ to !m1 & f\nd !m univ]sally engag$ ab\t _! s\l's conc]ns2 inquir+ #8:at !y %\ld d to be sav$4' ,all _! conv]sation among !mselves turn$ ^u religi\s matt]s1 9 :i* !y 7 assi/$ by my ,int]pret]1 :o 0 ) !m day & night4 8,?is day !re 0 "o woman1 :o _h be5 mu* conc]n$ = h] s\l ev] s9ce %e fir/ he>d me prea* 9 ,june la/1 :o obta9$ com=t1 ,i tru/1 solid & well gr\nd$4 ,%e seem$ to be fill$ ) love to ,*ri/4 ,at ! same "t %e behav$ humbly & t5d]ly1 & appe>$ afraid ( no?+ s mu* z ( (f5d+ & griev+ him :om h] s\l lov$4 ,aug4 #f4--8;,9 ! morn+ ,i disc\rs$ to ! ,indians at ! h\se :]e we lodg$4 ,_m ( !m 7 mu* affect$1 & appe>$ surpris+ly t5d]2 s t a few words ab\t ! conc]ns ( _! s\ls w\ld cause ! te>s to fl[ freely1 & produce _m sobs & groans4 ,9 ! aft]noon !y be+ return$ to ! place :]e ,i _h usually prea*$ among !m1 ,i aga9 disc\rs$ to !m !re4 ,!re 7 ab\t fifty-five p]sons 9 all2 ab\t =ty t 7 capable ( att5d+ ,div9e s]vice ) und]/&+4 ,i insi/$ on #a ,john1 #d3aj4 #8,h]e9 is love4' c4 ,!y seem$ eag] ( he>+2 b !re appe>$ no?+ v rem>kable1 except _! att5tion1 till ne> ! close ( my disc\rse2 & !n ,div9e tru? 0 att5d$ ) a surpris+ influ5ce1 & produc$ a great conc]n among !m4 ,!re 7 sc>cely ?ree 9 =ty :o c\ld refra9 f te>s & bitt] cries4 ,!y all z "o seem$ 9 an agony ( s\l to obta9 an int]e/ 9 ,*ri/2 & ! m ,i disc\rs$ ( ! love & compassion ( ,god 9 s5d+ 8 ,son to suff] = ! s9s ( m52 & ! m ,i invit$ !m to come & p>take ( 8 love2 ! m _! di/ress 0 aggravat$1 because !y felt !mselves unable to come4 ,x 0 surpris+ to see h[ _! he>ts seem$ to be pi]c$ ) ! t5d] & melt+ invitations ( ! ,gospel1 :5 !re 0 n a ^w ( t]ror spok5 to !m4 8,!re 7 ?is day two p]sons :o obta9$ relief & com=t2 :i*1 :5 ,i came to disc\rse ) !m p>ticul>ly1 appe>$ solid1 rational1 & scriptural4 ,aft] ,i _h inquir$ into ! gr\nds ( _! com=t1 & said _m ?+s :i* ,i ?\ght prop] to !m2 ,i ask$ !m :at !y want$ t ,god %\ld d f>!r = !m8 ,!y repli$1 #8!y want$ ,*ri/ %\ld wipe _! he>ts q clean1' c4 ,s surpris+ 7 n[ ! do+s ( ! ,"l1 t ,i c say no less ( ?is day1 & ,i ne$ say no m ( x1 ?an t ! arm ( ! ,"l 0 p[]fully & m>vell\sly reveal$ 9 x4 ,aug4 #g4--8,prea*$ to ! ,indians f ,isaiah1 #ec3c-aj4 ,!re 0 a rem>kable influ5ce att5d+ ! ^w1 & great conc]n 9 ! assembly2 b sc>cely equal to :at appe>$ ! day be=e1 t is1 n q s univ]sal4 ,h[ev]1 mo/ 7 mu* affect$1 & _m 9 great di/ress = _! s\ls2 & "s few c\ld nei!r g nor /&1 b lay flat on ! gr\nd1 z if pi]c$ at he>t1 cry+ incessantly = m]cy4 ,sev]al 7 newly awak5$2 & x 0 rem>kable t z fa/ z !y came f remote places r\nd ab\t1 ! ,_s ( ,god seem$ to seize !m ) conc]n = _! s\ls4 ,aft] public s]vice 0 conclud$ ,i f\nd two p]sons m :o _h newly met ) com=t1 ( :om ,i _h good hopes2 & a ?ird ( :om ,i c\ld n b ent]ta9 "s hopes1 ^: case did n appe> s cle> z ! o!rs2 s t !re 7 n[ six 9 all1 :o _h got "s relief f _! spiritual di/resses2 & five ^: exp]i5ce appe>$ v cle> & satisfactory4 ,x is wor?y ( rem>k1 t ^? :o obta9$ com=t fir/ 7 9 g5]al deeply affect$ ) conc]n = _! s\ls :5 ,i prea*$ to !m 9 ,june la/4 ,aug4 #h4--8;,9 ! aft]noon ,i prea*$ to ! ,indians1 _! numb] 0 n[ ab\t sixty-five p]sons2 m51 wom51 & *ildr54 ,i disc\rs$ ^u ,luke #ad3af-bc1 & 0 favor$ ) uncommon fre$om4 ,!re 0 mu* visible conc]n among !m :ile ,i 0 disc\rs+ publicly2 b aft]w>d1 :5 ,i spoke to "o & ano!r m p>ticul>ly1 :om ,i p]ceiv$ "u mu* conc]n1 ! p[] ( ,god seem$ to desc5d ^u ! assembly #8l a mighty ru%+ w9d1' & ) an a/oni%+ en]gy bore d[n all be=e x4 ,i /ood amaz$ at ! influ5ce :i* seiz$ ! audi5ce almo/ univ]sally2 & c\ld comp>e x to no?+ m aptly ?an ! irresi/ible =ce ( a mighty torr5t1 or swell+ deluge1 t ) its insupportable weight & pressure be>s d[n & sweeps be=e x :atev] is 9 its way4 ,almo/ all p]sons ( all ages 7 b[$ d[n ) conc]n toge!r1 & sc>cely "o 0 able to )/& ! %ock ( ?is surpris+ op]ation4 ,old m5 & wom5 :o _h be5 drunk5 wret*es = _m ye>s1 & "s little *ildr5 n m ?an six or sev5 ye>s ( age1 appe>$ 9 di/ress = _! s\ls1 z well z p]sons ( middle age4 ,x 0 app>5t t ^! *ildr51 "s ( !m at lea/1 7 n m]ely fright5$ ) see+ ! g5]al conc]n1 b 7 made s5sible ( _! dang]1 ! badness ( _! he>ts1 & _! mis]y )\t ,*ri/1 z "s ( !m express$ x4 ,! mo/ /ubborn he>ts 7 n[ oblig$ to b[4 ,a pr9cipal man among ! ,indians1 :o be=e 0 mo/ secure & self-righte\s1 & ?\ght 8 /ate good1 because he knew m ?an ! g5]ality ( ! ,indians _h =m]ly done2 & :o ) a great degree ( confid5ce ! day be=e told me #8he _h be5 a ,*ri/ian m ?an t5 ye>s2' 0 n[ br\ght "u solemn conc]n = 8 s\l1 & wept bitt]ly4 ,ano!r man advanc$ 9 ye>s1 :o _h be5 a murd]]1 a p[aw or conjur]1 & a notori\s drunk>d1 0 likewise br\ght n[ to cry = m]cy ) _m te>s1 & to compla9 mu* t he c\ld be no m conc]n$1 :5 he saw 8 dang] s v great4 8,!y 7 almo/ univ]sally pray+ & cry+ = m]cy 9 e "p ( ! h\se1 & _m out ( doors2 & numb]s c\ld nei!r g nor /&4 ,_! conc]n 0 s great1 ea* "o = himself1 t none seem$ to take any notice ( ^? ab\t !m1 b ea* pray$ freely = himself4 ,i am l$ to ?9k !y 71 to _! own appreh5sions1 z mu* retir$ z if !y _h be5 individually by !mselves1 9 ! ?icke/ des]t2 or ,i believe r t !y ?\ght ab\t no?+ b !mselves1 & _! own /ate1 & s 7 e "o pray+ ap>t1 al?\gh all toge!r4 ,x seem$ to me t !re 0 n[ an exact fulfilm5t ( t prophecy1 ,ze*4 #ab3aj1 #aa1 #ab2 = !re 0 n[ #8a great m\rn+1 l ! m\rn+ ( ,hadadrimmon2'--& ea* seem$ to #8m\rn ap>t4' ,me?\ght ?is _h a ne> resemblance to ! day ( ,god's p[]1 m5tion$ 9 ,jo%4 #aj3ad2 = ,i mu/ say ,i nev] saw any day l x1 9 all respects3 x 0 a day :]e9 ,i am p]suad$ ! ,"l did mu* to de/roy ! k+dom ( d>kness among ?is p4 8,?is conc]n1 9 g5]al1 0 mo/ rational & j4 ,^? :o _h be5 awak5$ any consid]able "t1 compla9$ m especially ( ! badness ( _! he>ts2 & ^? :o 7 newly awak5$1 ( ! badness ( _! lives & actions2 & all 7 afraid ( ! ang] ( ,god1 & ( ev]la/+ mis]y z ! des]t ( _! s9s4 ,"s ( ! :ite p :o came out ( curiosity to he> :at #8?is babbl] w\ld say' to ! poor ignorant ,indians1 7 mu* awak5$2 & "s appe>$ to be w\nd$ ) a view ( _! p]i%+ /ate4 ,^? :o _h lately obta9$ relief1 7 fill$ ) com=t at ?is season4 ,!y appe>$ calm & compos$1 & seem$ to rejoice 9 ,*ri/ ,jesus4 ,"s ( !m took _! di/ress$ fri5ds by ! h&1 tell+ !m ( ! goodness ( ,*ri/1 & ! com=t t is to be enjoy$ 9 him2 & !nce invit$ !m to come & give up _! he>ts to him4 ,i c\ld obs]ve "s ( !m1 9 ! mo/ hone/ & unaffect$ mann]1 )\t any design ( be+ tak5 notice (1 lift+ up _! eyes to heav51 z if cry+ = m]cy1 :ile !y saw ! di/ress ( ! poor s\ls ar\nd !m4 ,!re 0 "o rem>kable in/ance ( awak5+ ?is day :i* ,i _c fail to notice "h4 ,a "y ,indian woman1 :o1 ,i believe1 nev] knew be=e t %e _h a s\l1 nor ev] ?\ght ( any su* ?+1 he>+ t !re 0 some?+ /range among ! ,indians1 came1 x seems1 to see :at 0 ! matt]4 ,9 h] way to ! ,indians %e call$ at my lodg+s2 & :5 ,i told h] t ,i design$ pres5tly to prea* to ! ,indians1 laugh$1 & seem$ to mock2 b w5t h[ev] to !m4 ,i _h n proce$$ f> 9 my public disc\rse be=e %e felt effectually t %e _h a s\l2 & be=e ,i _h conclud$ my disc\rse 0 s conv9c$ ( h] s9 & mis]y1 & s di/ress$ ) conc]n = h] s\l's salvation1 t %e seem$ l "o pi]c$ ?r\gh ) a d>t1 & cri$ out incessantly4 ,%e c\ld nei!r g nor /&1 nor sit on h] seat )\t be+ held up4 ,aft] public s]vice 0 ov] %e lay flat on ! gr\nd1 pray+ e>ne/ly1 & w\ld take no notice (1 nor give any answ] to any :o spoke to h]4 ,i he>k5$ to :at %e said1 & p]ceiv$ ! burd5 ( h] pray] to be1 #8,guttummauhalummeh we*aumeh kmeleh ,nolah1' i4 e4 #8,h m]cy on me1 & help me to give y my he>t4' ,?us %e cont9u$ pray+ incessantly = _m h\rs toge!r4 ,?is 0 inde$ a surpris+ day ( ,god's p[]1 & seem$ en\gh to conv9ce an ,a!i/ ( ! tru?1 importance1 & p[] ( ,god's ^w4 ,aug4 #i4--8,sp5t almo/ ! :ole day ) ! ,indians2 ! =m] "p ( x 9 disc\rs+ to _m ( !m privately1 & especially to "s :o _h lately receiv$ com=t1 & endeavor+ to inquire into ! gr\nds ( x1 z well z to give !m "s prop] in/ructions1 cautions & directions4 8,9 ! aft]noon disc\rs$ to !m publicly4 ,!re 7 n[ pres5t ab\t sev5ty p]sons1 old & "y4 ,i op5$ & appli$ ! p>able ( ! s[]1 ,matt4 #ac4 ,0 enabl$ to disc\rse ) mu* pla9ness1 & f\nd aft]w>d t ?is disc\rse 0 v in/ructive to !m4 ,!re 7 _m te>s among !m :ile ,i 0 disc\rs+ publicly1 b no consid]able cry2 yet "s 7 mu* affect$ ) a few words spok5 f ,matt4 #aa3bh1 #8,come unto me all ye t labor1' c4 ) :i* ,i conclud$ my disc\rse4 ,b1 :ile ,i 0 disc\rs+ ne> night to two or ?ree ( ! awak5$ p]sons1 a ,div9e influ5ce seem$ to att5d :at 0 spok5 to !m 9 a p[]ful mann]1 :i* caus$ ! p]sons to cry out 9 angui% ( s\l1 al?\gh ,i spoke n a ^w ( t]ror1 b on ! contr>y1 set be=e !m ! fullness & all-suffici5cy ( ,*ri/'s m]its1 & 8 will+ness to save all t come to him1 & !reupon press$ !m to come )\t delay4 ,! cry ( ^! 0 soon he>d by o!rs1 :o1 ?\gh scatt]$ be=e1 imm$iately ga!r$ r\nd4 ,i !n proce$$ 9 ! same /ra9 ( gospel invitation1 till !y 7 all melt$ into te>s & cries except two or ?ree2 & seem$ 9 ! greate/ di/ress to f9d & secure an int]e/ 9 ! great ,r$eem]4 ,"s :o _h little m ?an a ruffle made 9 _! passions ! day be=e1 seem$ n[ to be deeply affect$ & w\nd$ at he>t2 & ! conc]n 9 g5]al appe>$ ne>ly z preval5t z ! day be=e4 ,!re 0 inde$ a v great m\rn+ among !m1 & yet e "o seem$ to m\rn ap>t4 ,= s great 0 _! conc]n1 t almo/ e "o 0 pray+ & cry+ = himself1 z if none _h be5 ne>4 #8,guttummauhalummeh2 ,guttummauhalummeh1' i4 e4 #8,h m]cy ^u #8me2 m]cy ^u me1' 0 ! common cry4 ,x 0 v affect+ to see ! poor ,indians1 :o ! o!r day 7 halloo+ & yell+ 9 _! idolatr\s fea/s & drunk5 frolics1 n[ cry+ to ,god ) su* importunity = an int]e/ 9 8 de> ,son6 ,f\nd two or ?ree p]sons :o1 ,i _h reason to hope1 _h tak5 com=t ^u good gr\nds s9ce ! ev5+ be=e2 & ^!1 ) o!rs :o _h obta9$ com=t1 7 toge!r1 & seem$ to rejoice mu* t ,god 0 c>ry+ on 8 "w ) su* p[] ^u o!rs4 ,augu/ #aj4--8,rode to ! ,indians1 & began to disc\rse m privately to ^? :o _h obta9$ com=t & satisfaction2 endeavor+ to in/ruct1 direct1 caution1 & com=t !m4 ,b o!rs1 be+ eag] ( he>+ e ^w :i* relat$ to spiritual conc]ns1 soon came toge!r "o aft] ano!r2 &1 :5 ,i _h disc\rs$ to ! "y conv]ts m ?an half an h\r1 !y seem$ mu* melt$ ) div9e ?+s1 & e>ne/ly desir\s to be ) ,*ri/4 ,i told !m ( ! godly s\l's p]fect purity & full enjoym5t ( ,*ri/1 imm$iately ^u its sep>ation f ! body2 & t x w\ld be = ev] inconceivably m happy ?an !y _h ev] be5 = any %ort space ( "t1 :5 ,*ri/ seem$ ne> to !m 9 pray] or o!r duties4 ,t ,i might make way = speak+ ( ! resurrection ( ! body1 & !nce ( ! complete bless$ness ( ! man2 ,i said1 #8,b p]haps "s ( y w say1 ,i love my body z well z my s\l1 & ,i _c be> to ?9k t my body %all lie dead1 if my s\l is happy4' ,to :i* !y all *e]fully repli$1 #8,muttoh1 ,muttoh2' be=e ,i _h opportunity to prosecute :at ,i design$ respect+ ! resurrection2 i4 e4 #8,no1 ,no1' ,!y did n reg>d _! bodies1 if _! s\ls might be ) ,*ri/4 ,!n !y appe>$ will+ to be abs5t f ! body1 t !y might be pres5t ) ! ,"l4 8,:5 ,i _h sp5t "s "t ) !m ,i turn$ to ! o!r ,indians1 & spoke to !m f ,luke1 #ai3aj4 #8,= ! ,son ( man is come to seek & to save t :i* 0 lo/4 ,i _h n disc\rs$ long be=e _! conc]n rose to a great degree1 & ! h\se 0 fill$ ) cries & groans4 ,:5 ,i insi/$ on ! compassion & c>e ( ! ,"l ,jesus ,*ri/ = ^? t 7 lo/1 :o ?\ght !mselves undone1 & c\ld f9d no way ( escape2 ?is melt$ !m d[n ! m1 & aggravat$ _! di/ress1 t !y c\ld n f9d & come to s k9d a ,savior4 8,sundry p]sons1 :o be=e _h be5 slightly awak5$1 7 n[ deeply w\nd$ ) a s5se ( _! s9 & mis]y4 ,"o man 9 p>ticul>1 :o 0 nev] be=e awak5$1 0 n[ made to feel t #8! ^w ( ! ,"l 0 quick & p[]ful1 %>p] ?an any two-edg$ sword4' ,he seem$ to be pi]c$ at he>t ) di/ress1 & 8 conc]n appe>$ rational & scriptural1 = he said t #8all ! wick$ness ( 8 pa/ life 0 br\ght fre% to 8 remembrance1 & t he saw all ! vile actions he _h done =m]ly1 z if done b ye/]day4' 8,f\nd "o :o _h newly receiv$ com=t1 aft] press+ di/ress f day to day4 ,c\ld n b rejoice & admire ! div9e goodness 9 :at appe>$ ?is day4 ,!re seems to be "s good done by e disc\rse2 "s newly awak5$ e day1 & "s com=t$4 ,x 0 refre%+ to obs]ve ! conduct ( ^? :o obta9$ com=t3 :ile o!rs 7 di/ress$ ) fe> & conc]n1 !y 7 lift+ up _! he>ts to ,god = !m4 ,"l's day1 ,aug4 #aa4--8;,disc\rs$ 9 ! =5oon f ! p>able ( ! ,prodigal ,son4 ,luke1 #ae4 ,obs]v$ no su* rem>kable effect ( ! ^w ^u ! assembly z 9 days pa/4 ,!re 7 numb]s ( c>eless spectators f ! :ite p1 ( v>i\s *>act]s4 ,9 ! aft]noon ,i disc\rs$ ^u a "p ( ,pet]'s s]mon4 ,acts1 #b4 ,& at ! close ( my disc\rse to ! ,indians1 made an address to ! :ite p2 & div9e tru? seem$ !n to be att5d$ ) p[]1 bo? to ,engli% & ,indians4 ,sev]al ( ! :ite hea!n 7 awak5$1 & c\ld n long] be idle spectators2 b f\nd !y _h s\ls to save or lose z well z ! ,indians2 & a great conc]n spread ?r\gh ! :ole assembly2 s t ?is also appe>$ to be a day ( ,god's p[]1 especially t[>d ! conclusion ( x1 al?\gh ! influ5ce att5d+ ! ^w seem$ sc>cely s p[]ful n[ z 9 "s days pa/4 8,! numb] ( ,indians1 old & "y1 0 n[ upw>d ( sev5ty2 & "o or two 7 newly awak5$ ?is day :o nev] _h appe>$ to be mov$ ) conc]n = _! s\ls be=e4 ,^? :o _h obta9$ relief & com=t1 & _h giv5 hopeful evid5ces ( hav+ pass$ a sav+ *ange1 appe>$ humble & dev\t1 & behav$ 9 an agreeable & ,*ri/ian-l mann]4 ,i 0 refre%$ to see ! t5d]ness ( consci5ce manife/ 9 "s ( !m2 "o in/ance ( :i* ,i _c b notice4 ,p]ceiv+ "o ( !m v sorr[ful 9 ! morn+1 ,i inquir$ into ! cause ( h] sorr[1 & f\nd ! difficulty 01 t %e _h be5 angry ) h] *ild ! ev5+ be=e1 & 0 n[ ex]cis$ ) fe>s le/ h] ang] _h be5 inord9ate & s9ful2 :i* s griev$ h] t %e awoke & began to sob be=e day light1 & cont9u$ weep+ = sev]al h\rs toge!r4 ,augu/ #ad4--8,sp5t ! day ) ! ,indians4 ,!re 0 "o ( !m :o _h "s "t s9ce put away 8 wife1 z is common among !m1 & tak5 ano!r woman2 & be+ n[ br\ght "u "s s]i\s impressions1 0 mu* conc]n$ ab\t t affair 9 p>ticul>1 & seem$ fully conv9c$ ( ! wick$ness ( ! practice1 & e>ne/ly desir\s to "k :at ,god w\ld h him to d 9 8 pres5t circum/ances4 ,:5 ! law ( ,god respect+ m>riage _h be5 op5$ to !m1 & ! cause ( 8 leav+ 8 wife inquir$ into1 & :5 x appe>$ t %e _h giv5 him no j occasion1 by un*a/ity1 to des]t h]1 & t %e 0 will+ to =give 8 pa/ misconduct & to live peaceably ) him = ! future1 & t %e1 moreov]1 insi/$ on x z h] "r to live ) him2 he 0 !n told t x 0 8 indisp5sable duty to r5\nce ! woman :om he _h la/ tak51 & receive ! o!r1 :o 0 8 prop] wife1 & live peaceably ) h] dur+ life4 ,) ?is he readily & *e]fully compli$2 & !reupon publicly r5\nc$ ! woman he _h la/ tak51 & promis$ to live ) & be k9d to 8 wife dur+ life2 %e also promis+ ! same to him4 ,"h appe>$ a cle> demon/ration ( ! p[] ( ,god's ^w ^u _! he>ts4 ,i suppose a few weeks be=e ! :ole _w c\ld n h p]suad$ ?is man to a compliance ) ,*ri/ian rules 9 ?is affair4 8,i 0 n )\t fe>s t ?is proce$+ might be l putt+ #8new w9e into old bottles2' & t "s might be prejudic$ aga9/ ,*ri/ianity1 :5 !y saw ! dem&s made by x4 ,b ! man be+ mu* conc]n$ ab\t ! matt]1 ! det]m9ation ( x c\ld be def]r$ no long]2 & x seem$ to h a good1 r ?an an ill effect among ! ,indians1 :o g5]ally own$ t ! laws ( ,*ri/ 7 good & "r respect+ ! affairs ( m>riage4 ,9 ! aft]noon ,i prea*$ to !m f ! apo/le's disc\rse to ,cornelius4 ,acts1 #aj3cd4 ,!re appe>$ "s affectionate conc]n among !m1 ?\gh n equal to :at appe>$ 9 sev]al ( ! =m] days4 ,!y /ill att5d$ & he>d z = _! lives1 & ! ,"l's "w seem$ /ill to be promot$ & propagat$ among !m4 ,augu/ #ae4--8,prea*$ f ,luke1 #d3af-ba4 ,! ^w 0 att5d$ ) p[] ^u ! he>ts ( ! he>]s4 ,!re 0 mu* conc]n1 _m te>s1 & affect+ cries among !m2 & "s 7 deeply w\nd$ & di/ress$ = _! s\ls4 ,!re 7 "s newly awak5$ :o came b ?is week1 & convictions seem$ to be promot$ 9 o!rs4 ,^? :o _h receiv$ com=t1 7 likewise refre%$ & /r5g!n$2 & ! "w ( grace appe>$ to advance 9 all respects4 ,! passions ( ! congregation 9 g5]al 7 n s mu* mov$ z 9 "s days pa/2 b _! he>ts seem$ z solemnly & deeply affect$ ) div9e tru? z ev]1 at lea/ 9 _m in/ances1 al?\gh ! conc]n did n seem s univ]sal1 & to rea* e individual 9 su* a mann] z x appe>$ to d "s days be=e4 ,augu/ #af4--8,sp5t consid]able "t 9 conv]s+ ) ! ,indians4 ,f\nd "o :o _h got relief & com=t aft] press+ conc]n2 & c\ld n b hope1 :5 ,i came to disc\rse p>ticul>ly ) h]1 t h] com=t 0 ( ! "r k9d4 ,9 ! aft]noon ,i prea*$ to !m f ,john1 #f3bf-cd4 ,t[>d ! close ( my disc\rse div9e tru? 0 att5d$ ) consid]able p[] ^u ! audi5ce1 & m especially aft] public s]vice 0 ov]1 :5 ,i p>ticul>ly address$ sev]al di/ress$ p]sons4 8,!re 0 a great conc]n = _! s\ls spread pretty g5]ally among !m2 b especially !re 7 two p]sons newly awak5$ to a s5se ( _! s9 & mis]y2 "o ( :om 0 lately come1 & ! o!r _h all along be5 v att5tive & desir\s ( be+ awak5$1 b c\ld nev] be=e h any lively view ( h] p]i%+ /ate4 ,n[ h] conc]n & spiritual di/ress 0 su*1 t ,i ?\ght ,i _h nev] se5 any m press+4 ,a numb] ( old m5 7 also 9 di/ress = _! s\ls2 s t !y c\ld n refra9 f weep+ & cry+ al\d2 & _! bitt] groans 7 ! mo/ conv9c+ z well z affect+ evid5ces ( ! reality & dep? ( _! inw>d angui%4 ,god is p[]fully at "w among !m4 ,true & g5u9e convictions ( s9 are daily promot$ 9 _m in/ances2 & "s are newly awak5$ f "t to "t2 al?\gh "s few1 :o felt a commotion 9 _! passions 9 days pa/1 seem n[ to discov] t _! he>ts 7 nev] duly affect$4 ,i nev] saw ! "w ( ,god appe> s indep5d5t ( means z at ?is "t4 ,i disc\rs$ to ! p1 & spake :at ,i suppose _h a prop] t5d5cy to promote convictions2 b ,god's mann] ( work+ ^u !m seem$ s entirely sup]natural1 & above means1 t ,i c\ld sc>cely believe he us$ me z an in/rum5t1 or :at ,i spake z means ( c>ry+ on 8 "w4 ,= x appe>$1 z ,i ?\ght1 to h no connection ) or dep5d5ce on means 9 any respect4 ,?\gh ,i c\ld n b cont9ue to use ! means1 :i* ,i ?\ght prop] = ! promotion ( ! "w1 yet ,god seem$1 z ,i appreh5d$1 to "w entirely )\t !m4 ,i seem$ to d no?+1 & inde$ to h no?+ to d1 b to #8/& /ill1 & see ! salvation ( ,god2' & f\nd myself oblig$ & delight$ to say1 #8,n unto u1' n unto in/rum5ts & means1 #8b to ?y "n be glory4' ,god appe>$ to "w entirely alone1 & ,i saw no room to attribute any "p ( ?is "w to any creat$ arm4 ,aug4 #ag4--8,sp5t mu* "t 9 private conf]5ces ) ! ,indians4 ,f\nd "o :o _h newly obta9$ relief & com=t1 aft] a long season ( spiritual tr\ble & di/ress2 he hav+ be5 "o ( my he>]s at ! ,=ks ( ,delaw>e = m ?an a ye>1 & n[ hav+ foll[$ me "h "u deep conc]n = 8 s\l2 & _h abundant reason to hope t 8 com=t 0 well gr\nd$1 & truly div9e4 ,"l's day1 ,aug4 #ah4--8,prea*$ 9 ! =5oon to a mix$ assembly ( :ite p1 ( div]s d5om9ations4 ,aft]w>d prea*$ to ! ,indians1 f ,john #f3ce-dj4 ,!re 0 consid]able conc]n visible among !m1 ?\gh n equal to :at has frequ5tly appe>$ ( late4 ,aug4 #ai4--8,prea*$ f ,isaiah1 #ee3a4 #8,ho e "o t ?ir/e?4' ,div9e tru? 0 att5d$ ) p[] ^u ^? :o _h receiv$ com=t1 & o!rs also4 ,! =m] sweetly melt$ & refre%$ ) div9e invitations2 ! latt] mu* conc]n$ = _! s\ls1 t !y might obta9 an int]e/ 9 ^! glori\s gospel provisions :i* 7 set be=e !m4 ,!re 7 numb]s ( poor impot5t s\ls t wait$ at ! pool = heal+2 & ! angel seem$1 z at o!r times ( late1 to tr\ble ! wat]s1 s t !re 0 yet a mo/ desirable & com=table prospect ( ! spiritual recov]y ( diseas$ p]i%+ s9n]s4 ,aug #bc4--8,sp5t "s "t ) ! ,indians 9 private disc\rse2 & aft]w>d prea*$ to !m f ,john1 #f3dd-ej4 ,!re 01 z has be5 usual1 a great att5tion1 & "s affection among !m4 ,sev]al appe>$ deeply conc]n$ = _! s\ls1 & c\ld n b express _! inw>d angui% by te>s & cries4 ,b ! amaz+ div9e influ5ce1 :i* has be5 s p[]fully among !m 9 g5]al1 seems at pres5t 9 "s degree abat$3 at lea/ 9 reg>d to its univ]sality2 ?\gh _m :o h obta9$ no special com=t /ill reta9 deep impressions ( div9e ?+s4 ,aug4 #bd4--8,sp5t ! =5oon 9 disc\rs+ to "s ( ! ,indians 9 ref]5ce to _! publicly pr(ess+ ,*ri/4 ,numb]s ( !m seem$ to be fill$ ) love to ,god1 delight$ ) ! ?\ghts ( giv+ !mselves up to him1 & melt$ & refre%$ ) ! hopes ( enjoy+ ! bless$ ,r$eem]4 ,aft]w>d ,i disc\rs$ publicly f #a ,!ss4 #d3ac-ag4 ,!re 0 a solemn att5tion1 & "s visible conc]n & affection 9 ! "t ( public s]vice2 :i* 0 aft]w>d increas$ by "s fur!r exhortations giv5 to !m to come to ,*ri/1 & give up _! he>ts to him1 t !y might be fitt$ to #8asc5d up & meet him 9 ! air1' :5 he %all #8desc5d ) a %\t1 & ! voice ( ! ar*angel4' 8,!re 7 sev]al ,indians newly come1 :o ?\ght _! /ate good1 & !mselves happy1 because !y _h sometimes liv$ ) ! :ite p "u gospel light1 _h le>n$ to read1 7 civil1 c41 al?\gh !y appe>$ utt] /rang]s to _! own he>ts1 & altoge!r unacqua9t$ ) ! p[] ( religion1 z well z ) ! doctr9es ( grace4 ,) ^! ,i disc\rs$ p>ticul>ly1 aft] public wor%ip2 & 0 surpris$ to see _! self-righte\s disposition1 _! /rong atta*m5t to ! cov5ant ( works = salvation1 & ! high value !y put ^u _! suppos$ atta9m5ts4 ,yet aft] mu* disc\rse1 "o appe>$ 9 a measure conv9c$ t #8by ! de$s ( ! law no fle% liv+ c be ju/ifi$2' & wept bitt]ly1 inquir+ #8:at he mu/ d to be sav$4' 8,?is 0 v com=table to o!rs1 :o _h ga9$ "s exp]im5tal k ( _! own he>ts2 = be=e !y 7 griev$ ) ! conv]sation & conduct ( ^! new com]s1 :o boa/$ ( _! k1 & ?\ght well ( !mselves1 b evid5tly discov]$ to ^? :o _h any exp]i5ce ( div9e tru?1 t !y knew no?+ ( _! own he>ts4 ,"l's day1 ,aug4 #be4--8,prea*$ 9 ! =5oon f ,luke1 #ae3c-g4 ,a numb] ( :ite p be+ pres5t1 ,i made an address to !m at ! close ( my disc\rse to ! ,indians2 b c\ld n s mu* z keep !m ord]ly2 = scores ( !m kept walk+ & gaz+ ab\t1 & behav$ m indec5tly ?an any ,indians ,i h ev] address$4 ,a view ( _! abusive conduct s sunk my spirits1 t ,i c\ld sc>cely g on ) my "w4 8,9 ! aft]noon ,i disc\rs$ f ,rev4 #c3bj2 at :i* "t fifte5 ,indians made a public pr(ession ( _! fai?4 ,aft] ! cr[d ( spectators 0 gone ,i call$ !m toge!r1 & disc\rs$ to !m 9 p>ticul>2 at ! same "t invit+ o!rs to att5d4 ,i rem9d$ !m ( ! solemn obligations !y 7 n[ "u to live to ,god2 w>n$ !m ( ! evil & dreadful consequ5ces ( c>eless liv+1 especially aft] _! public pr(ession ( ,*ri/ianity2 gave !m directions = future conduct2 & enc\rag$ !m to wat*fulness & devotion1 by sett+ be=e !m ! com=t & happy conclusion ( a religi\s life4 8,?is 0 a desirable & sweet season inde$6 ,_! he>ts 7 engag$ & *e]ful 9 duty2 & !y rejoic$ t !y _h1 9 a public & solemn mann]1 d$icat$ !mselves to ,god4 ,love seem$ to reign among !m6 ,!y took ea* o!r by ! h& ) t5d]ness & affection1 z if _! he>ts 7 knit toge!r1 :ile ,i 0 disc\rs+ to !m2 & all _! deportm5t t[>d ea* o!r 0 su*1 t a s]i\s spectator might ju/ly be excit$ to cry out ) admiration1 #8,behold h[ !y love "o ano!r4' ,numb]s ( ! o!r ,indians1 on see+ & he>+ ^! ?+s1 7 mu* affect$1 & wept bitt]ly2 long+ to be p>tak]s ( ! same joy & com=t :i* ^! discov]$ by _! v c\nt5ances z well z conduct4 ,aug4 #bf4--8,prea*$ to my p f ,john1 #f3ea-ee4 ,aft] ,i _h disc\rs$ "s "t1 ,i address$ !m 9 p>ticul> :o ent]ta9$ hopes t !y 7 pass$ f dea? unto life4 ,op5$ to !m ! p]sev]+ nature ( ^? consolations :i* ,*ri/ gives 8 p1 & :i* ,i tru/$ he _h be/[$ ^u "s 9 t assembly2 %[$ !m t su* h already ! beg9n+s ( et]nal life1 & t _! heav5 %all spe$ily be complet$4 8,i no soon] began to disc\rse 9 ?is /ra9 ?an ! de> ,*ri/ians 9 ! congregation began to be melt$ ) affection to1 & desire ( ! enjoym5t ( ,*ri/1 & ( a /ate ( p]fect purity4 ,!y wept affectionately1 yet joyfully2 & _! te>s & sobs discov]$ brok5ness ( he>t1 & yet 7 att5d$ ) real com=t & sweetness4 ,x 0 a t5d]1 affectionate1 humble & delightful meet+1 & appe>$ to be ! g5u9e effect ( a _s ( adoption1 & v f> f t _s ( bondage "u :i* !y n long s9ce labor$4 ,! influ5ce seem$ to spread f ^! ?r\gh ! :ole assembly2 & !re quickly appe>$ a wond]ful conc]n among !m4 ,_m1 :o _h n yet f\nd ,*ri/ z an all-suffici5t ,savior1 7 surpris+ly engag$ 9 seek+ aft] him4 ,x 0 inde$ a lovely & v int]e/+ assembly4 ,_! numb] 0 n[ ab\t n9ety-five p]sons1 old & "y1 & almo/ all affect$ ) joy 9 ,*ri/ ,jesus1 or ) ! utmo/ conc]n to obta9 an int]e/ 9 him4 8,be+ n[ conv9c$ t x 0 my duty to take a j\rney f> back to ! ,indians on ! ,susquehanna1 x be+ n[ a prop] season ( ! ye> to f9d !m g5]ally at home2 aft] hav+ sp5t "s h\rs 9 public & private disc\rse ) my p1 ,i told !m t ,i mu/ n[ leave !m = ! pres5t1 & g to _! bre?r5 f> remote1 & prea* to !m2 t ,i want$ ! ,_s ( ,god %\ld g ) me1 )\t :om no?+ c\ld be done to any good purpose among ! ,indians--z !y !mselves _h opportunity to see & obs]ve by ! b>r5ness ( our meet+s at "s times1 :5 !re 0 mu* pa9s tak5 to affect & awak5 s9n]s1 & yet to little or no purpose2 & ask$ !m if !y c\ld n be will+ to sp5d ! rema9d] ( ! day 9 pray] = me1 t ,god w\ld g ) me1 & succe$ my endeavors = ! conv]sion ( ^! poor s\ls4 ,!y *e]fully compli$ ) ! motion1 & soon aft] ,i left !m1 ! sun be+ ab\t an h\r & a half high1 !y began & cont9u$ pray+ till break ( day1 or v ne>2 nev] mi/ru/+1 z !y tell me1 till !y w5t out & view$ ! />s1 & saw ! morn+ /> a consid]able height1 t x 0 lat] ?an b$ "t4 ,?us eag] & unwe>i$ 7 !y 9 _! devotions6 ,a rem>kable night x 02 att5d$1 z my ,int]pret] tells me1 ) a p[]ful influ5ce ^u ^? :o 7 yet "u conc]n1 z well z ^? :o _h receiv$ com=t4 ,!re 71 ,i tru/1 ?is day1 two di/ress$ s\ls br\ght to ! enjoym5t ( solid com=t 9 ,him 9 :om ! we>y f9d re/4 ,x 0 likewise rem>kable1 t ?is day an old ,indian1 :o _h all 8 days be5 an idolat]1 0 br\ght to give up 8 rattles1 :i* !y use = music 9 _! idolatr\s fea/s & dances1 to ! o!r ,indians1 :o quickly de/roy$ !m4 ,?is 0 done )\t any int]f]5ce ( m9e1 ,i hav+ n spok5 to him ab\t x1 s t x seem$ to be no?+ b ! p[] ( ,god's ^w1 )\t any p>ticul> application to ?is s91 t produc$ ?is effect4 ,?us ,god has begun2 ?us he has hi!rto surpris+ly c>ri$ on a "w ( grace among ^! ,indians4 ,may ! glory be ascrib$ to ,him :o is ! sole au?or ( x40 ,=ks ( ,delaw>e1 9 ,p5nsylvania1 ,sept4 #agde4 ,"l's day1 ,sept4 #a4--8,prea*$ to ! ,indians f ,luke1 #aa3af-bc4 ,! ^w appe>$ to be att5d$ ) "s p[]1 & caus$ "s te>s 9 ! assembly4 ,aft]w>d prea*$ to a numb] ( :ite p pres5t1 & obs]v$ _m ( !m 9 te>s2 & "s :o _h =m]ly be5 z c>eless & unconc]n$ ab\t religion1 p]haps1 z ! ,indians4 ,t[>d night disc\rs$ to ! ,indians aga91 & p]ceiv$ a great] att5tion1 & m visible conc]n among !m ?an has be5 usual 9 ^! p>ts4 ,sept4 #c4--8,prea*$ to ! ,indians f ,isaiah1 #eb3c-f4 ,! ,div9e pres5ce seem$ to be 9 ! mid/ ( ! assembly1 & a consid]able conc]n spread among !m4 ,sundry p]sons seem$ to be awak5$2 among :om 7 two /upid creatures1 :om ,i c\ld sc>ce ev] be=e keep awake :ile ,i 0 disc\rs+ to !m4 ,i c\ld n b rejoice at ?is appe>ance ( ?+s2 al?\gh at ! same "t ,i c\ld n b fe>1 le/ ! conc]n :i* !y at pres5t manife/$ might prove l a morn+ cl\d1 z some?+ ( t nature _h =m]ly done 9 ^! p>ts4 ,sept4 #e4--8;,disc\rs$ to ! ,indians f ! p>able ( ! s[]4 ,aft]w>d ,i conv]s$ p>ticul>ly ) a numb] ( p]sons2 :i* occasion$ !m to weep1 & ev5 to cry out 9 an affect+ mann]1 & seiz$ o!rs ) surprise & conc]n4 ,i d\bt n b t a div9e p[] accompani$ :at 0 !n spok54 ,sev]al ( ^! p]sons _h be5 ) me to ,crossweeksung1 & !re _h se51 & "s ( !m1 ,i tru/ felt1 ! p[] ( ,god's ^w 9 an affect+ & sav+ mann]4 ,i ask$ "o ( !m1 :o _h obta9$ com=t1 & giv5 hopeful evid5ce ( be+ truly religi\s1 #8,:y he n[ cri$8' ,he repli$1 #8,:5 he ?\ght h[ ,*ri/ 0 sla9 l a lamb1 & spilt 8 blood = s9n]s1 he c\ld n help cry+ :5 he 0 alone2' & !reupon bur/ into te>s & cri$ aga94 ,i !n ask$ 8 wife1 :o _h likewise be5 abundantly com=t$1 :y %e cri$8 ,%e answ]$1 #8t %e 0 griev$ t ! ,indians "h w\ld n come to ,*ri/1 z well z ^? at ,crossweeksung4' ,i ask$ h] if %e f\nd a he>t to pray = !m1 & :e!r ,*ri/ _h seem$ to be ne> h] ( late 9 pray]1 z 9 times pa/1 :i* is my usual me?od ( express+ a s5se ( ! div9e pres5ce4 ,%e repli$1 #8,yes1 he _h be5 ne> to h]1 & at times :5 %e _h be5 pray+ alone1 h] he>t lov$ to pray s t %e c\ld n be> to leave ! place1 b want$ to /ay & pray long]4' ,"l's day1 ,sept4 #h4--8;,disc\rs$ to ! ,indians 9 ! aft]noon f ,acts1 #b3cf-ci4 ,! ^w ( ,god at ?is "t seem$ to fall ) weight & influ5ce ^u !m4 ,!re 7 b few pres5t2 b mo/ t 71 7 9 te>s1 & sev]al cri$ out 9 di/ress+ conc]n = _! s\ls4 ,!re 0 "o man consid]ably awak5$1 :o nev] be=e discov]$ any conc]n = 8 s\l4 ,!re appe>$ a rem>kable "w ( ! ,div9e ,_s among !m g5]ally1 n unlike :at has be5 ( late at ,crossweeksung4 ,x seem$ z if ! div9e influ5ce _h spread !nce to ?is place1 al?\gh some?+ ( x appe>$ "h be=e 9 ! awak5+ ( my int]pret]1 8 wife1 & "s few o!rs4 ,sev]al ( ! c>eless :ite p n[ pres5t 7 awak5$1 or at lea/ />tl$1 see+ ! p[] ( ,god s preval5t among ! ,indians4 ,i !n made a p>ticul> address to !m1 :i* seem$ to make "s impression ^u !m1 & excite "s affection 9 !m4 8,!re are "s ,indians 9 ^! p>ts :o h always refus$ to he> me prea*1 & h be5 enrag$ aga9/ ^? :o h att5d$ on my prea*+4 ,b ( late !y are m bitt] ?an ev]2 sc(f+ at *ri/ianity1 & sometimes ask+ my he>]s #8,h[ (t5 !y h cri$1' & #8:e!r !y h n n[ cri$ en\gh to d _! turn1' c4 ,s t !y h already trial ( cruel mock+s4 ,sept4 #i4--8,left ! ,indians at ! ,=ks ( ,delaw>e1 & set out on a j\rney t[>d ,susquehanna riv]1 direct+ my c\rse t[>d ! ,indian t[n m ?an an hundr$ & tw5ty miles we/w>d f ! ,=ks4 ,travel$ ab\t fifte5 miles1 & !re lodg$4 ,%aumok+1 ,sept4 #agde4 ,sept4 #ac4--8;,aft] hav+ lodg$ out ?ree nights1 arriv$ at ! ,indian t[n ,i aim$ at1 on ! ,susquehanna1 call$ ,%aumok+2 "o ( ! places1 & ! l>ge/ ( !m1 :i* ,i visit$ 9 ,may la/4 ,i 0 k9dly receiv$1 & ent]ta9$ by ! ,indians2 b _h little satisfaction by reason ( ! hea!ni% dance & revel !y !n held 9 ! h\se :]e ,i 0 oblig$ to lodge2 :i* ,i c\ld n suppress1 ?\gh ,i (t5 entreat$ !m to desi/1 = ! sake ( "o ( _! own fri5ds1 :o 0 !n sick 9 ! h\se1 & ^: disord] 0 mu* aggravat$ by ! noise4 ,alas6 h[ de/itute ( natural affection are ^! poor uncultivat$ pagans6 al?\gh !y seem some:at k9d 9 _! own way4 ,( a tru? ! d>k corn]s ( ! e>? are full ( ! habitations ( cruelty4 ,?is t[n1 z ,i obs]v$ 9 my ,di>y ( ,may la/1 lies p>tly on ! ea/ side ( ! riv]1 p>tly on ! we/1 & p>tly on a l>ge isl& 9 x1 & conta9s upw>d ( fifty h\ses1 & ne>ly ?ree hundr$ p]sons1 ?\gh ,i nev] saw mu* m ?an half t numb] 9 x4 ,!y are ( ?ree diff]5t tribes ( ,indians1 speak+ ?ree languages :olly un9telligible to ea* o!r4 ,ab\t "o half ( its inhabitants are ,delaw>es1 ! o!rs call$ ,s5ekas & ,tutelas4 ,! ,indians ( ?is place are acc\nt$ ! mo/ drunk51 mis*iev\s1 & ruffianlike fell[s ( any 9 ^! p>ts2 & ,satan seems to h 8 seat 9 ?is t[n 9 an em95t mann]4 ,sept4 #ad4--8,visit$ ! ,delaw>e ,k+1 :o 0 suppos$ to be at ! po9t ( dea? :5 ,i 0 "h 9 ,may la/1 b 0 n[ recov]$2 disc\rs$ ) him & o!rs respect+ *ri/ianity2 sp5t ! aft]noon ) !m1 & _h m enc\ragem5t ?an ,i expect$4 ,! k+ appe>$ k9dly dispos$1 & will+ to be in/ruct$4 ,?is gave me "s enc\ragem5t t ,god w\ld op5 an effectual door = my prea*+ ! ,gospel "h1 & set up 8 k+dom 9 ?is place4 ,?is 0 a support & refre%m5t to me 9 ! wild]ness1 & r5d]$ my solit>y circum/ances com=table & pleasant4 ,"l's day1 ,sept4 #ae4--8,visit$ ! *ief ( ! ,delaw>es aga92 0 k9dly receiv$ by him1 & disc\rs$ to ! ,indians 9 ! aft]noon4 ,/ill ent]ta9$ hopes t ,god w\ld op5 _! he>ts to receive ! ,gospel1 ?\gh _m ( !m 9 ! place 7 s drunk f day to day t ,i c\ld get no opportunity to speak to !m4 ,t[>d night disc\rs$ ) "o :o und]/ood ! languages ( ! ,six ,nations1 z !y are usually call$1 :o discov]$ an incl9ation to he>k5 to *ri/ianity1 :i* gave me "s hope t ! ,gospel might h]eaft] be s5t to ^? nations f> remote4 ,sept4 #af4--8,sp5t ! =5oon ) ! ,indians1 endeavor+ to in/ruct !m f h\se to h\se1 & to engage !m1 z f> z ,i c\ld1 to be fri5dly to *ri/ianity4 ,t[>d night w5t to "o "p ( ! t[n :]e !y 7 sob]1 got toge!r ne> fifty ( !m1 & disc\rs$ to !m1 hav+ fir/ obta9$ ! k+'s *e]ful cons5t4 ,!re 0 a surpris+ att5tion among !m1 & !y manife/$ a consid]able desire ( be+ fur!r in/ruct$4 ,!re 7 also "o or two t seem$ to be t\*$ ) "s conc]n = _! s\ls1 :o appe>$ well pleas$ ) "s conv]sation 9 private aft] ,i _h conclud$ my public disc\rse to !m4 8,my spirits 7 mu* refre%$ ) ?is appe>ance ( ?+s1 & ,i c\ld n b return ) my int]pret]1 hav+ no o!r companion 9 ?is j\rney to my poor h>d lodg+s1 rejoic+ 9 hopes t ,god design$ to set up 8 k+dom "h1 :]e satan n[ reigns 9 ! mo/ em95t mann]2 & f\nd uncommon fre$om 9 address+ ! ?rone ( grace = ! accompli%m5t ( s great & glori\s a "w4 ,sept4 #ag4--8,sp5t ! =5oon 9 visit+ & disc\rs+ to ! ,indians4 ,ab\t noon left ,%aumok+ 7mo/ ( ! ,indians go+ out ?is day on _! hunt+ design7 & travel$ d[n ! riv] s\?-we/w>d4 ,juncauta1 ,sept4 #agde4 ,sept4 #ai4--8,visit$ an ,indian t[n1 call$ ,juncauta1 situate on an isl& 9 ! ,susquehanna4 ,0 mu* disc\rag$ ) ! temp] & behavior ( ! ,indians "h2 al?\gh !y appe>$ fri5dly :5 ,i 0 ) !m ! la/ spr+1 & !n gave me enc\ragem5t to come & see !m aga94 ,b !y n[ seem$ resolv$ to reta9 _! pagan notions1 & p]si/ 9 _! idolatr\s practices4 ,septemb] #bj4--8,visit$ ! ,indians aga9 at ,juncauta isl&1 & f\nd !m almo/ univ]sally v busy 9 mak+ prep>ations = a great sacrifice & dance4 ,_h no opportunity to get !m toge!r1 9 ord] to disc\rse ) !m ab\t ,*ri/ianity1 by reason ( _! be+ s mu* engag$ ab\t _! sacrifice4 ,my spirits 7 mu* sunk ) a prospect s v disc\rag+2 & especially see+ ,i _h ?is day no int]pret] b a pagan1 :o 0 z mu* atta*$ to idolatry z any ( !m1 & :o c\ld nei!r speak nor und]/& ! language ( ^! ,indians2 s t ,i 0 "u ! greate/ disadvantages imag9able4 ,h[ev]1 ,i attempt$ to disc\rse privately ) "s ( !m1 b )\t any appe>ance ( success3 not)/&+ ,i /ill t>ri$ ) !m4 8,9 ! ev5+ !y met toge!r1 ne>ly a hundr$ ( !m1 & danc$ ar\nd a l>ge fire1 hav+ prep>$ t5 fat de] = ! sacrifice4 ,! fat ( ! inw>ds !y burnt 9 ! fire :ile !y 7 danc+1 :i* sometimes rais$ ! flame to a prodigi\s height2 at ! same "t yell+ & %\t+ 9 su* a mann] t !y might easily h be5 he>d two miles or m4 ,!y cont9u$ _! sacr$ dance ne>ly all night1 aft] :i* !y ate ! fle% ( ! sacrifice1 & s retir$ ea* "o to 8 own lodg+4 8,i enjoy$ little satisfaction2 be+ entirely alone on ! isl&1 z to any ,*ri/ian company1 & 9 ! mid/ ( ?is idolatr\s revel2 & hav+ walk$ to & fro till body & m9d 7 pa9$ & mu* oppress$1 ,i at l5g? crept into a little crib made = corn1 & !re slept on ! poles4 ,"l's day1 ,sept4 #ba4--8,sp5t ! day ) ! ,indians on ! isl&4 ,z soon z !y 7 well up 9 ! morn+ ,i attempt$ to in/ruct !m1 & labor$ = t purpose to get !m toge!r2 b soon f\nd !y _h some?+ else to d1 = ne> noon !y ga!r$ toge!r all _! p[aws1 or conjur]s1 & set ab\t half a doz5 ( !m play+ _! juggl+ tricks1 & act+ _! frantic di/ract$ po/ures1 9 ord] to f9d out :y !y 7 !n s sickly ^u ! isl&1 numb]s ( !m be+ at t "t disord]$ ) a fev] & bloody flux4 ,9 ?is ex]cise !y 7 engag$ = sev]al h\rs1 mak+ all ! wild1 ridicul\s & di/ract$ motions imag9able2 sometimes s++1 sometimes h[l+1 sometimes ext5d+ _! h&s to ! utmo/ /ret*1 & spread+ all _! f+]s2 !y seem$ to pu% ) !m z if !y design$ to pu% some?+ away1 or at lea/ keep x (f at arm's-end2 sometimes /rok+ _! faces ) _! h&s1 !n spurt+ wat] z f9e z mi/2 sometimes sitt+ flat on ! e>?1 !n b[+ d[n _! faces to ! gr\nd2 !n wr++ _! sides z if 9 pa9 & angui%1 twi/+ _! faces1 turn+ up _! eyes1 grunt+1 puff+1 c4 8,_! mon/r\s actions t5d$ to excite ideas ( horror1 & seem$ to h some?+ 9 !m1 z ,i ?\ght1 peculi>ly suit$ to raise ! devil1 if he c\ld be rais$ by any ?+ odd1 ridicul\s1 & frightful4 ,"s ( !m1 ,i c\ld obs]ve1 7 mu* m f]v5t & dev\t 9 ! bus9ess ?an o!rs1 & seem$ to *ant1 peep1 & mutt] ) a great degree ( w>m? & vigor1 z if det]m9$ to awak5 & engage ! p[]s bel[4 ,i sat at a small di/ance1 n m ?an ?irty feet f !m1 ?\gh undiscov]$1 ) my ,bible 9 my h&1 resolv+1 if possible1 to spoil _! sport1 & prev5t _! receiv+ any answ]s f ! inf]nal _w1 & !re view$ ! :ole sc5e4 ,!y cont9u$ _! hide\s *>ms & incantations = m ?an ?ree h\rs1 until !y _h all we>i$ !mselves out2 al?\gh !y _h 9 t space ( "t tak5 sev]al int]vals ( re/2 & at l5g? broke up1 ,i appreh5d$1 )\t receiv+ any answ] at all4 8,aft] !y _h done p[aw+1 ,i attempt$ to disc\rse ) !m ab\t ,*ri/ianity2 b !y soon scatt]$1 & gave me no opportunity = any ?+ ( t nature4 ,a view ( ^! ?+s1 :ile ,i 0 entirely alone 9 ! wild]ness1 de/itute ( ! society ( any "o :o s mu* z #8nam$ ! "n ( ,*ri/1' greatly sunk my spirits1 & gave me ! mo/ gloomy turn ( m9d imag9able1 almo/ /ripp$ me ( all resolution & hope respect+ fur!r attempts = propagat+ ! ,gospel & conv]t+ ! pagans1 & r5d]$ ?is ! mo/ burd5some & disagreeable ,sabba? :i* ,i ev] saw4 ,b no?+1 ,i c truly say1 sunk & di/ress$ me l ! loss ( my hope respect+ _! conv]sion4 ,?is conc]n appe>$ s great1 & seem$ to be s mu* my own1 t ,i seem$ to h no?+ to d on e>? if ?is fail$4 ,a prospect ( ! greate/ success 9 ! sav+ conv]sion ( s\ls "u ,gospel light1 w\ld h done little or no?+ t[>d comp5sat+ = ! loss ( my hope 9 ?is respect2 & my spirits n[ 7 s damp$ & depress$1 t ,i _h no he>t nor p[] to make any fur!r attempts among !m = t purpose1 & c\ld n possibly recov] my hope1 resolution1 & c\rage1 by ! utmo/ ( my endeavors4 8,! ,indians ( ?is isl& c1 _m ( !m1 und]/& ! ,engli% language consid]ably well2 hav+ =m]ly liv$ 9 "s "p ( ,m>yl&1 among or ne> ! :ite p2 b are v drunk51 vici\s1 & pr(ane1 al?\gh n s savage z ^? :o h less acqua9tance ) ! ,engli%4 ,_! cu/oms1 9 v>i\s respects1 diff] f ^? ( ! o!r ,indians ^u ?is riv]4 ,!y d n bury _! dead 9 a common =m1 b let _! fle% consume above ! gr\nd1 9 close cribs made = t purpose4 ,at ! end ( a ye>1 or sometimes a long] space ( "t1 !y take ! bones1 :5 ! fle% is all consum$1 & wa% & scrape !m & aft]w>d bury !m ) "s c]emony4 ,_! me?od ( *>m+ or conjur+ ov] ! sick1 seems some:at diff]5t f t ( ! o!r ,indians1 ?\gh 9 sub/ance ! same4 ,! :ole ( x among ^! & o!rs1 p]haps1 is an imitation ( :at seems1 by ,naaman's expression1 #b ,k+s1 #e3aa1 to h be5 ! cu/om ( ! anci5t hea!n4 ,x seems *iefly to consi/ 9 _! #8/rik+ _! h&s ov] ! diseas$1' repeat$ly /rok+ !m1 #8& call+ ^u _! god2' except ! spurt+ ( wat] l a mi/1 & "s o!r frantic c]emonies common to ! o!r conjurations :i* ,i h already m5tion$4 8,:5 ,i 0 9 ?is region 9 ,may la/ ,i _h an opportunity ( le>n+ _m ( ! notions & cu/oms ( ! ,indians1 z well z obs]v+ _m ( _! practices4 ,i !n travel$ m ?an an hundr$ & ?irty miles ^u ! riv]1 above ! ,engli% settlem5ts2 & 9 t j\rney met ) individuals ( sev5 or eight di/9ct tribes1 speak+ z _m diff]5t languages4 ,b ( all ! sights ,i ev] saw among !m1 or inde$ any :]e else1 none appe>$ s frightful1 or s ne> a k9 to :at is usually imag9$ ( inf]nal p[]s1 none ev] excit$ su* images ( t]ror 9 my m9d1 z ! appe>ance ( "o :o 0 a dev\t & zeal\s re=m]1 or r re/or] ( :at he suppos$ 0 ! anci5t religion ( ! ,indians4 ,he made 8 appe>ance 9 8 pontifical g>b1 :i* 0 a coat ( be> sk9s1 dress$ ) ! hair on1 & hang+ d[n to 8 toes2 a pair ( be> sk9 /ock+s2 & a great wood5 face pa9t$1 ! "o half black1 ! o!r half tawny1 ab\t ! color ( an ,indian's sk91 ) an extravagant m\?1 cut v mu* awry2 ! face fa/5$ to a be> sk9 cap1 :i* 0 drawn ov] 8 head4 ,he advanc$ t[>d me ) ! in/rum5t 9 8 h& :i* he us$ = music 9 8 idolatr\s wor%ip2 :i* 0 a dry tortoise %ell ) "s corn 9 x1 & ! neck ( x drawn on to a piece ( wood1 :i* made a v conv5i5t h&le4 ,z he came =w>d he beat 8 tune ) ! rattle1 & danc$ ) all 8 might1 b did n suff] any "p ( 8 body1 n s mu* z 8 f+]s1 to be se54 ,no "o w\ld h imag9$1 f 8 appe>ance or actions1 t he c\ld h be5 a human creature1 if !y _h n _h "s intimation ( x o!rwise4 ,:5 he came ne> me ,i c\ld n b %r9k away f him1 al?\gh x 0 !n noon day1 & ,i knew :o x 02 8 appe>ance & ge/ures 7 s prodigi\sly frightful4 ,he _h a h\se consecrat$ to religi\s uses1 ) div]s images cut ^u ! sev]al p>ts ( x4 ,i w5t 91 & f\nd ! gr\nd beat almo/ z h>d z a rock1 ) _! frequ5t danc+ ^u x4 ,i disc\rs$ ) him ab\t ,*ri/ianity4 ,"s ( my disc\rse he seem$ to l1 b "s ( x he dislik$ extremely4 ,he told me t ,god _h taught him 8 religion1 & t he nev] w\ld turn f x2 b want$ to f9d "s :o w\ld jo9 he>tily ) him 9 x2 = ! ,indians1 he said1 7 gr[n v deg5]ate & corrupt4 ,he _h ?\ghts1 he said1 ( leav+ all 8 fri5ds1 & travel+ abroad1 9 ord] to f9d "s :o w\ld jo9 ) him2 = he believ$ t ,god _h "s good p "s :]e1 :o felt z he did4 ,he _h n always1 he said1 felt z he n[ did2 b _h =m]ly be5 l ! re/ ( ! ,indians1 until ab\t f\r or five ye>s be=e t "t4 ,!n1 he said1 8 he>t 0 v mu* di/ress$1 s t he c\ld n live among ! ,indians1 b got away into ! woods1 & liv$ alone = "s mon?s4 ,at l5g?1 he said1 ,god com=t$ 8 he>t1 & %[$ him :at he %\ld d2 & s9ce t "t he _h kn[n ,god1 & tri$ to s]ve him2 & lov$ all m51 be !y :o !y w\ld1 s z he nev] did be=e4 ,he treat$ me ) uncommon c\rtesy1 & seem$ to be he>ty 9 x4 ,i 0 told by ! ,indians1 t he oppos$ _! dr9k+ /rong liquor ) all 8 p[]2 & t1 if at any "t he c\ld n dissuade !m f x by all he c\ld say1 he w\ld leave !m1 & g cry+ into ! woods4 ,x 0 manife/ t he _h a set ( religi\s notions :i* he _h exam9$ = himself1 & n tak5 = grant$ ^u b>e tradition2 & he reli%$ or disreli%$ :atev] 0 spok5 ( a religi\s nature1 z x ei!r agre$ or disagre$ ) 8 /&>d4 ,:ile ,i 0 disc\rs+1 he w\ld sometimes say1 #8,n[ t ,i l2 s ,god has taught me2' c4 & "s ( 8 s5tim5ts seem$ v j4 ,yet he utt]ly d5i$ ! exi/5ce ( a devil1 & decl>$ !re 0 no su* creature kn[n among ! ,indians ( old times1 ^: religion he suppos$ he 0 attempt+ to revive4 ,he likewise told me1 t dep>t$ s\ls w5t s\?w>d1 & t ! diff]5ce betwe5 ! good & ! bad 0 ?is3 t ! =m] 7 admitt$ into a beautiful t[n ) spiritual walls2 & t ! latt] w\ld = ev] hov] ar\nd ^! walls1 9 va9 attempts to get 94 ,he seem$ to be s9c]e1 hone/1 & consci5ti\s 9 8 own way1 & accord+ to 8 own religi\s notions2 :i* 0 m ?an ,i ev] saw 9 any o!r ,pagan4 ,i p]ceiv$ t he 0 look$ ^u & d]id$ among mo/ ( ! ,indians1 z a precise zealot1 :o made a ne$less noise ab\t religi\s matt]s2 b ,i mu/ say t !re 0 some?+ 9 8 temp] & disposition :i* look$ m l true religion ?an any ?+ ,i ev] obs]v$ among o!r hea!ns4 8,b alas6 h[ deplorable is ! /ate ( ! ,indians ^u ?is riv]6 ,! brief repres5tation :i* ,i h "h giv5 ( _! notions & mann]s1 is suffici5t to %[ t !y are #8l$ captive by ,satan at 8 w1' 9 ! mo/ em95t mann]2 & me?9ks might likewise be suffici5t to excite ! compassion1 & engage ! pray]s1 ( ,god's *ildr5 = ^! _! fell[-m51 :o sit #89 ! regions ( ! %ad[ ( dea?4' ,sept4 #bb4--8,made "s fur!r attempts to in/ruct & ,*ri/ianize ! ,indians on ?is ,isl&1 b all to no purpose4 ,!y live s ne> ! :ite p t !y are always 9 ! way ( /rong liquor1 z well z ( ! ill examples ( nom9al ,*ri/ians2 :i* r5d]s x s unspeakably difficult to treat ) !m ab\t ,*ri/ianity40 ,=ks ( ,delaw>e1 ,oct4 #agde4 ,oct4 #a4--8;,disc\rs$ to ! ,indians "h1 & sp5t "s "t 9 private conf]5ce ) !m ab\t _! s\ls' conc]ns1 & aft]w>d invit$ !m to accompany1 or if n1 to foll[ me to ,crossweeksung z soon z !y c\ld conv5i5tly2 :i* invitation numb]s ( !m *e]fully accept$40 ,crossweeksung1 ,oct4 #agde4 ,oct4 #e4--8,prea*$ to my p f ,john1 #ad3a-f4 ,! div9e pres5ce seem$ to be 9 ! assembly4 ,numb]s 7 affect$ ) div9e tru?1 & x 0 a com=t to "s 9 p>ticul>4 ,o :at a diff]5ce is !re betwe5 ^!1 & ! ,indians ) :om ,i _h lately treat$ ^u ! ,susquehanna6 ,to be ) ^? seem$ to be l be+ bani%$ f ,god & all 8 p2 to be ) ^!1 l be+ admitt$ into 8 family1 & to ! enjoym5t ( 8 div9e pres5ce6 ,h[ great is ! *ange lately made ^u numb]s ( ^? ,indians2 :o1 n _m mon?s ago1 7 z ?\ghtless & av]se to ,*ri/ianity z ^? ^u ! ,susquehanna2 & h[ a/oni%+ is t grace :i* has made ?is *ange6 ,"l's day1 ,oct4 #f4--8,prea*$ 9 ! =5oon f ,john1 #aj3g-aa4 ,!re 0 a consid]able melt+ among my p2 ! de> "y ,*ri/ians 7 refre%$1 com=t$ & /r5g!n$2 & "o or two p]sons newly awak5$4 ,9 ! aft]noon ,i disc\rs$ on ! /ory ( ! ,jailor1 ,acts1 #af2 & 9 ! ev5+ exp\nd$ ,acts1 #bj3a-ab4 ,!re 0 at ?is "t a v agreeable melt+ spread ?r\gh\t ! :ole assembly4 ,i ?9k ,i sc>ce ev] saw a m desirable affection among any p4 ,!re 0 sc>cely a dry eye to be se5 among !m2 & yet no?+ boi/]\s or unseemly1 no?+ t t5d$ to di/urb ! public wor%ip2 b r to enc\rage & excite a ,*ri/ian ardor & _s ( devotion4 ,^? :o ,i h reason to hope 7 sav+ly r5ew$ 7 fir/ affect$1 & seem$ to rejoice mu*1 b ) brok5ness ( _s & godly fe>4 ,_! ex]cises 7 mu* ! same ) ^? m5tion$ 9 my j\rnal ( ,augu/ #bf1 evid5tly appe>+ to be ! g5u9e effects ( a _s ( adoption4 8,aft] public s]vice 0 ov] ,i )drew1 be+ mu* tir$ ) ! labors ( ! day2 & ! ,indians cont9u$ pray+ among !mselves = ne> two h\rs toge!r2 :i* cont9u$ ex]cises appe>$ to be att5d$ ) a bless$ quick5+ influ5ce f on high4 ,i c\ld n b e>ne/ly wi% t numb]s ( ,god's p _h be5 pres5t at ?is season to see & he> ^! ?+s :i* ,i am sure mu/ refre% ! he>t ( e true lov] ( ,zion4 ,to see ^? :o 7 v lately savage ,pagans & idolat]s1 hav+ no hope1 & )\t ,god 9 ! _w1 n[ fill$ ) a s5se ( div9e love & grace1 & wor%ipp+ ! ,fa!r 9 _s & 9 tru?1 z numb]s "h appe>$ to d1 0 n a little affect+2 & especially to see !m appe> s t5d] & humble1 z well z lively1 f]v5t1 & dev\t 9 ! div9e s]vice4 ,oct4 #bd4--8;,disc\rs$ f ,john1 #d3ac1 #ad4 ,!re 0 a great att5tion1 a desirable affection1 & an unaffect$ melt+ 9 ! assembly4 ,x is surpris+ to see h[ eag] !y are to he> ! ^w ( ,god4 ,i (t5 times ?\ght t !y w\ld *e]fully & dilig5tly att5d div9e wor%ip tw5ty-f\r h\rs toge!r1 if !y _h an opportunity s to d4 ,oct4 #be4--8;,disc\rs$ to my p respect+ ! ,resurrection1 f ,luke1 #bj3bg-cf4 ,:5 ,i came to m5tion ! bless$ness ! godly %all enjoy at t season2 _! f9al fre$om f dea?1 s9 & sorr[2 _! equality to ! angels 9 _! ne>ness to & enjoym5t ( ,*ri/1 "s imp]fect degree ( :i* !y are favor$ ) 9 ! pres5t life1 f :5ce spr+s _! sweete/ com=t2 & _! be+ ! *ildr5 ( ,god1 op5ly ackn[l$g$ by him z su*2 _m ( !m 7 mu* affect$ & melt$ ) a view ( ?is bless$ /ate4 ,oct4 #bf4--8;,be+ call$ to assi/ 9 ! adm9i/ration ( ! ,"l's supp] 9 a neighbor+ congregation1 ,i invit$ my p to g ) me4 ,!y 9 g5]al embrac$ ! opportunity *e]fully2 & att5d$ ! sev]al disc\rses ( ?is solemnity ) dilig5ce & affection1 mo/ ( !m n[ und]/&+ some?+ ( ! ,engli% language4 ,"l's day1 ,oct4 #bg4--8,:ile ,i 0 prea*+ to a va/ assembly ( p abroad1 :o appe>$ g5]ally easy & secure1 !re 0 "o ,indian woman1 a /rang]1 :o nev] _h he>d me prea* be=e1 nor ev] reg>d$ any ?+ ab\t religion1 :o1 hav+ be5 n[ p]suad$ by "s ( h] fri5ds to come to meet+1 ?\gh mu* aga9/ h] w1 0 seiz$ ) di/ress+ conc]n = h] s\l2 & soon aft] express$ a great desire ( go+ home1 m ?an =ty miles di/ant1 to call h] husb&1 t he also might be awak5$ to a conc]n = 8 s\l4 ,"s o!rs ( ! ,indians appe>$ to be affect$ ) div9e tru? ?is day4 ,! pi\s p ( ! ,engli%1 numb]s ( :om ,i _h opportunity to conv]se )1 seem$ refre%$ ) see+ ! ,indians wor%ip ,god 9 t dev\t & solemn mann] ) ! assembly ( 8 p2 & ) ^? m5tion$ 9 ,acts1 #aa3ah1 !y c\ld n b glorify ,god1 say+1 #8,!n ha? ,god also to ! ,g5tiles grant$ rep5tance unto life4' 8,prea*$ aga9 9 ! aft]noon1 to a great assembly2 at :i* "t "s ( my p appe>$ affect$2 & :5 public wor%ip 0 ov]1 7 inquisitive :e!r !re w\ld n be ano!r s]mon 9 ! ev5+1 or be=e ! solemnity ( ! ,"l's supp] 0 conclud$2 be+ /ill desir\s to he> ,god's ^w4 ,oct4 #bh4--8;,disc\rs$ f ,matt4 #bb3a-ac4 ,i 0 enabl$ to op5 ! scriptures1 & adapt my disc\rse & expression to ! capacities ( my p1 ,i "k n h[1 9 a pla91 easy1 & famili> mann]1 beyond all t ,i c\ld h done by ! utmo/ /udy2 & ?is )\t any special difficulty2 yea1 ) z mu* fre$om z if ,i _h be5 address+ a common audi5ce1 :o _h be5 in/ruct$ 9 ! doctr9es ( *ri/ianity all _! days4 ,! ^w ( ,god at ?is "t seem$ to fall ^u ! assembly ) a div9e p[] & influ5ce1 especially t[>d ! close ( my disc\rse2 !re 0 bo? a sweet melt+ & bitt] m\rn+ 9 ! audi5ce4 ,! de> *ri/ians 7 refre%$ & com=t$1 convictions reviv$ 9 o!rs1 & sev]al p]sons newly awak5$ :o _h nev] be5 ) u be=e4 ,s mu* ( ! div9e pres5ce appe>$ 9 ! assembly1 t x seem$ #8?is 0 no o!r ?an ! h\se ( ,god & ! gate ( heav54' ,all1 :o _h any savor & reli% ( div9e ?+s1 7 ev5 con/ra9$ by ! sweetness ( t season to say1 #8,"l1 x is good = u to be "h4' ,if ev] !re 0 among my p an appe>ance ( ! ,new ,j]usalem #8z a bride adorn$ = h] husb&1' !re 0 mu* ( x at ?is "t2 & s agreeable 0 ! ent]ta9m5t1 :]e su* tok5s ( ! div9e pres5ce 71 t ,i c\ld sc>cely be will+ 9 ! ev5+ to leave ! place & repair to my lodg+s4 ,i 0 refre%$ ) a view ( ! cont9uance ( ?is bless$ "w ( grace among !m1 & ) its influ5ce ^u /rang]s among ! ,indians1 :o _h ( late f "t to "t provid5tially come into ?is "p ( ! c\ntry4 ,"l's day1 ,nov4 #c4--8,prea*$ to my p f ,luke #af3ag4 #8,& x is easi] = heav5 & e>?1' c4 m especially = ! sake ( sev]al lately br\ght "u deep conc]n = _! s\ls4 ,!re 0 "s app>5t conc]n & affection 9 ! assembly2 ?\gh f> less ?an has be5 usual ( late4 8,on ?is day six ( ! ,indians made a pr(ession ( _! fai?4 ,"o ( ^! 0 a woman ne> f\r-score ye>s ( age4 ,two ( ! o!rs 7 m5 fifty ye>s old1 :o _h be5 s+ul> & rem>kable among ! ,indians = _! wick$ness2 "o ( !m _h be5 a murd]]1 & bo? notori\s drunk>ds z well z excessively qu>relsome2 b n[ ,i _c b hope t bo? ( !m h become subjects ( ,god's special grace4 ,i kept !m back = _m weeks aft] !y _h giv5 evid5ce ( hav+ pass$ a great *ange1 t ,i might h m opportunities to obs]ve ! fruits ( ! impressions :i* !y _h be5 "u1 & appreh5d$ ! way 0 n[ cle> to admit !m to ! ord9ances4 ,nov4 #d48--;,disc\rs$ f ,john #aa1 briefly expla9+ mo/ ( ! *apt]4 ,div9e tru? made deep impressions ^u _m 9 ! assembly4 ,numb]s 7 affect$ ) a view ( ! p[] ( ,*ri/ manife/$ 9 8 rais+ ! dead2 & especially :5 ?is in/ance ( 8 p[] 0 improv$ to %[ 8 ability to raise dead s\ls1 su* z _m ( !m felt !mselves to be1 to a spiritual life2 z also to raise ! dead at ! la/ day1 & disp5se to !m rew>ds & puni%m5ts4 8,!re 7 numb]s ( ^? :o _h come "h lately f remote places1 :o 7 n[ br\ght "u deep & press+ conc]n = _! s\ls4 ,"o 9 p>ticul>1 :o n long s9ce came half drunk1 & rail$ on u1 & attempt$ by all means to di/urb u :ile engag$ 9 div9e wor%ip1 0 n[ s conc]n$ & di/ress$ = h] s\l1 t %e seem$ unable to get any ease )\t an int]e/ 9 ,*ri/4 ,!re 7 _m te>s & affectionate sobs & groans 9 ! assembly 9 g5]al2 "s weep+ = !mselves2 o!rs = _! fri5ds4 ,al?\gh p]sons are d\btless mu* m easily affect$ n[ ?an !y 7 9 ! beg9n+ ( ?is religi\s conc]n1 :5 te>s & cries = _! s\ls 7 ?+s unhe>d ( among !m2 yet ,i mu/ say t _! affection 9 g5]al appe>$ g5u9e & unfeign$2 & especially ?is appe>$ v conspicu\s 9 ^? newly awak5$4 ,s t true & g5u9e convictions ( s9 seem /ill to be begun & promot$ 9 _m in/ances4 ,tw5ty ?ree ( ! ,indians 9 all h n[ pr(ess$ _! fai? 9 ,*ri/4 ,mo/ ( !m belong$ to ?is region1 a few to ! ,=ks ( ,delaw>e4--,?r\gh ri* grace1 none ( !m z yet h be5 left to disgrace _! pr(ession by any sc&al\s or unbecom+ behavior4 8,i might n[ prop]ly make _m ,,rem>ks on a "w ( grace s v rem>kable z ?is has be5 9 v>i\s respects2 b %all conf9e myself to a few g5]al h9ts only4 #a4 8,x is rem>kable t ,god began ?is "w among ! ,indians at a "t :5 ,i _h ! lea/ hope1 &1 to my appreh5sion1 ! lea/ rational prospect ( see+ a "w ( grace propagat$ among !m3 my bodily /r5g? be+ !n mu* wa/$ by a late t$i\s j\rney to ! ,susquehanna1 :]e ,i 0 necess>ily expos$ to h>d%ips & fatigues among ! ,indians2 my m9d be+ also exce$+ly depress$ ) a view ( ! unsuccessfulness ( my labors4 ,i _h little reason s mu* z to hope t ,god _h made me in/rum5tal 9 ! sav+ conv]sion ( any ( ! ,indians1 except my ,int]pret] & 8 wife4 ,h5ce ,i 0 ready to look ^u myself z a burd5 to ! ,society :i* employ$ & support$ me 9 ?is bus9ess1 & began to ent]ta9 s]i\s ?\ghts ( giv+ up my mission2 & almo/ resolv$ ,i w\ld d s at ! conclusion ( ! pres5t ye>1 if ,i _h !n no bett] prospect ( success 9 my "w ?an ,i _h hi!rto _h4 ,i _c say t ,i ent]ta9$ ^! ?\ghts because ,i 0 we>y ( ! labors & fatigues :i* necess>ily att5d$ my pres5t bus9ess1 or because ,i _h light & fre$om 9 my own m9d to turn any o!r way2 b purely ?r\gh dejection ( _s1 press+ disc\ragem5t1 & an appreh5sion ( its be+ unju/ to sp5d money consecrat$ to religi\s uses1 only to civilize ! ,indians1 & br+ !m to an ext]nal pr(ession ( ,*ri/ianity4 ,?is 0 all :i* ,i c\ld !n see any prospect ( effect+1 :ile ,god seem$1 z ,i ?\ght1 evid5tly to fr[n ^u ! design ( _! sav+ conv]sion1 by )hold+ ! conv9c+ & r5ew+ influ5ces ( 8 bless$ ,_s f att5d+ ! means :i* ,i _h hi!rto us$ ) !m = t end4 8,9 ?is frame ( m9d ,i fir/ visit$ ^! ,indians at ,crossweeksung2 appreh5d+ t x 0 my indisp5sable duty1 see+ ,i _h he>d !re 0 a numb] 9 ^! p>ts1 to make "s attempts = _! conv]sion to ,god1 ?\gh ,i _c say ,i _h any hope ( success1 my spirits be+ n[ s extremely sunk4 ,i d n "k t my hopes respect+ ! conv]sion ( ! ,indians 7 ev] r$uc$ to s l[ an ebb1 s9ce ,i _h any special conc]n = !m1 z at ?is "t4 ,yet ?is 0 ! v season 9 :i* ,god saw fit to beg9 ?is glori\s "w6 ,?us he #8orda9$ /r5g? out ( weakness1' by mak+ b>e 8 almighty arm at a "t :5 all hopes & human probabilities mo/ evid5tly appe>$ to fail4--,:5ce ,i le>n1 t x is good to foll[ ! pa? ( duty1 ?\gh 9 ! mid/ ( d>kness & disc\ragem5t4 #b4 8,x is rem>kable h[ ,god provid5tially1 & 9 a mann] almo/ unacc\ntable1 call$ ^! ,indians toge!r to be in/ruct$ 9 ! great ?+s t conc]n$ _! s\ls3 & h[ he seiz$ _! m9ds ) ! mo/ solemn & weighty conc]n = _! et]nal salvation1 z fa/ z !y came to ! place :]e 8 ^w 0 prea*$4 ,:5 ,i fir/ came into ^! p>ts 9 ,june1 ,i f\nd n "o man at ! place ,i visit$1 b only f\r wom5 & a few *ildr52 b be=e ,i _h be5 "h _m days1 !y ga!r$ f all qu>t]s1 "s f m ?an tw5ty miles2 & :5 ,i made !m a second visit 9 ! beg9n+ ( ,augu/1 "s came m ?an =ty miles to he> me4 ,_m came )\t any intellig5ce ( :at 0 go+ on "h1 & consequ5tly )\t any design ( !irs1 s mu* z to gratify _! curiosity4 ,?us x seem$ z if ,god _h summon$ !m toge!r f all qu>t]s = no?+ else b to deliv] 8 message to !m2 & t he did ?is1 ) reg>d to "s ( !m1 )\t mak+ use ( any human means1 al?\gh !re 0 pa9s tak5 by "s ( !m to give notice to o!rs at remote places4 8,nor is x less surpris+ t !y 7 "o aft] ano!r affect$ ) a solemn conc]n = _! s\ls1 almo/ z soon z !y came ^u ! spot :]e div9e tru?s 7 taught !m4 ,i c\ld n b ?9k (t51 t _! com+ to ! place ( our public wor%ip1 0 l ,saul & 8 mess5g]s com+ among ! prophets2 !y no soon] came b !y prophesi$2 & ^! 7 almo/ z soon affect$ ) a s5se ( _! s9 & mis]y1 & ) an e>ne/ conc]n = deliv]ance1 z !y made _! appe>ance 9 our assembly4 ,aft] ?is "w ( grace began ) p[] among !m1 x 0 common = /rang]s ( ! ,indians1 be=e !y _h be5 ) u "o day1 to be mu* awak5$1 deeply conv9c$ ( _! s9 & mis]y1 & to inquire ) great solicitude1 #8,:at !y %\ld d to be sav$8' #c4 8,x is likewise rem>kable h[ ,god pres]v$ ^! poor ignorant ,indians f be+ prejudic$ aga9/ me1 & ! tru?s ,i taught !m1 by ^? means t 7 us$ ) !m = t purpose by ungodly p4 ,!re 7 _m attempts made by "s ill-m9d$ p]sons ( ! :ite p to prejudice !m aga9/1 or fright5 !m f ,*ri/ianity4 ,!y sometimes told !m1 t ! ,indians 7 well en\gh already2--t !re 0 no ne$ ( all ?is noise ab\t ,*ri/ianity2--t if !y 7 ,*ri/ians !y w\ld be 9 no bett]1 no saf]1 or happi] /ate1 ?an !y 7 already 94 ,sometimes !y told !m1 t ,i 0 a knave1 a deceiv]1 & ! l2 t ,i daily taught !m lies1 & _h no o!r design b to impose ^u !m4 ,:5 none ( ^!1 & su* l sugge/ions1 w\ld avail to _! purpose1 !y !n tri$ ano!r exp$i5t1 & told ! ,indians1 #8,my design 0 to ga!r toge!r z l>ge a body ( !m z ,i possibly c\ld1 & sell !m to ,engl& = slaves2' ?an :i* no?+ c\ld be m likely to t]rify ! ,indians1 !y be+ naturally ( a jeal\s disposition1 & ! mo/ av]se to a /ate ( s]vitude p]haps ( any p liv+4 8,b all ^! wick$ ins9uations1 ?r\gh div9e goodness ov]-rul+1 con/antly turn$ aga9/ ! au?ors ( !m1 & only s]v$ to engage ! affections ( ! ,indians m firmly to me2 = !y1 be+ awak5$ to a solemn conc]n = _! s\ls1 c\ld n b obs]ve1 t ! p]sons :o endeavor$ to embitt] _! m9ds aga9/ me1 7 altoge!r unconc]n$ ab\t _! own s\ls1 & n only s1 b vici\s & pr(ane2 & !nce c\ld n b argue1 t if !y _h no conc]n = _! own1 x 0 n likely !y %\ld h = ! s\ls ( o!rs4 8,x seems yet ! m wond]ful t ! ,indians 7 pres]v$ f once h>k5+ to ^! sugge/ions1 inasmu* z ,i 0 an utt] /rang] among !m1 & c\ld give !m no assurance ( my s9c]e affection to1 & conc]n = !m1 by any ?+ t 0 pa/1--:ile ! p]sons :o ins9uat$ ^! ?+s 7 _! old acqua9tance1 :o _h frequ5t opportunities ( gratify+ _! ?ir/y appetites ) /rong dr9k1 & consequ5tly1 d\btless _h ! greate/ int]e/ 9 _! affections4 ,b f ?is in/ance ( _! pres]vation f fatal prejudices1 ,i h _h occasion1 ) admiration1 to say1 #8,if ,god w "w1 :o c h9d]8' #d4 8,nor is x less wond]ful h[ ,god 0 pleas$ to provide a rem$y = my want ( skill & fre$om 9 ! ,indian language1 by rem>kably fitt+ my ,int]pret] =1 & assi/+ him 9 ! p]=mance ( 8 "w4 ,x might reasonably be suppos$ ,i mu/ ne$s labor "u a va/ disadvantage 9 address+ ! ,indians by an ,int]pret]2 & t div9e tru?s w\ld und\bt$ly lose mu* ( ! en]gy & pa?os ) :i* !y might at fir/ be deliv]$1 by reason ( _! com+ to ! audi5ce f a second h&4 ,b al?\gh ?is has (t51 to my sorr[ & disc\ragem5t1 be5 ! case 9 times pa/1 :5 my ,int]pret] _h little or no s5se ( div9e ?+s2 yet n[ x 0 q o!rwise4 ,i _c ?9k my addresses to ! ,indians ord9>ily1 s9ce ! beg9n+ ( ?is season ( grace h lo/ any ?+ ( ! p[] or pung5cy ) :i* !y 7 made1 unless x 7 sometimes = want ( p]t95t & pa!tic t]ms & expressions 9 ! ,indian language2 :i* difficulty c\ld n h be5 mu* r$ress$ by my p]sonal acqua9tance ) _! language4 ,my ,int]pret] _h be=e ga9$ "s good degree ( doctr9al k1 :]eby he 0 r5d]$ capable ( und]/&+1 & communicat+1 )\t mi/akes1 ! int5t & mean+ ( my disc\rses1 & t )\t be+ conf9$ /rictly1 & oblig$ to int]pret v]batim4 ,he _h likewise1 to appe>ance1 an exp]im5tal acqua9tance ) div9e ?+s2 & x pleas$ ,god at ?is season to inspire 8 m9d ) long+ desires = ! conv]sion ( ! ,indians1 & to give him admirable zeal & f]v5cy 9 address+ !m 9 ord] !reto4 ,x is rem>kable1 t1 :5 ,i 0 favor$ ) any special assi/ance 9 any "w1 & enabl$ to speak ) m ?an common fre$om1 f]v5cy1 & p[]1 "u a lively & affect+ s5se ( div9e ?+s1 he 0 usually affect$ 9 ! same mann] almo/ in/antly1 & seem$ at once quick5$ & enabl$ to speak 9 ! same pa!tic language1 & "u ! same influ5ce t ,i did4 ,a surpris+ en]gy (t5 accompani$ ! ^w at su* seasons2 s t ! face ( ! :ole assembly w\ld be app>5tly *ang$ almo/ 9 an in/ant1 & te>s & sobs become common among !m4 8,he also appe>$ to h su* a cle> doctr9al view ( ,god's usual me?ods ( deal+ ) s\ls "u a prep>atory "w ( conviction & humiliation z he nev] _h be=e2 s t ,i c\ld1 ) 8 help1 disc\rse freely ) ! di/ress$ p]sons ab\t _! int]nal ex]cises1 _! fe>s1 disc\ragem5ts1 temptations1 c4 ,he likewise took pa9s1 day & night1 to repeat & inculcate ^u ! m9ds ( ! ,indians ! tru?s :i* ,i taught !m daily2 & ?is he appe>$ to d1 n f spiritual pride1 & an affectation ( sett+ himself up z a public tea*]1 b f a _s ( fai?fulness1 & an hone/ conc]n = _! s\ls4 8,8 conv]sation among ! ,indians has likewise1 s f> z ,i "k1 be5 savory1 z becomes a ,*ri/ian1 & a p]son employ$ 9 8 "w2 & ,i may ju/ly say1 he has be5 a great com=t to me1 & a great in/rum5t ( promot+ ?is good "w among ! ,indians2 s t :atev] be ! /ate ( 8 own s\l1 x is app>5t ,god has rem>kably fitt$ him = ?is "w4 ,?us ,god has manife/$ t1 )\t be/[+ on me ! gift ( tongues1 he c\ld f9d a way :]e9 ,i might be z effectually enabl$ to convey ! tru?s ( 8 glori\s ,gospel to ! m9ds ( ^! poor b5ight$ pagans4 #e4 8,x is fur!r rem>kable1 t ,god has c>ri$ on 8 "w "h by su* means1 & 9 su* a mann]1 z t5d$ to obviate1 & leave no room = ^? prejudices & objections :i* h (t5 be5 rais$ aga9/ su* a "w4 ,:5 p]sons h be5 awak5$ to a solemn conc]n = _! s\ls1 by he>+ ! m awful tru?s ( ,god's ^w1 & ! t]rors ( ! div9e law insi/$ ^u1 x has usually 9 su* cases be5 object$ by "s1 t su* p]sons 7 only fright$ ) a fe>ful noise ( hell & damnation2 & t !re 0 no evid5ce t _! conc]n 0 ! effect ( a div9e influ5ce4 ,b ,god has left no room = ?is objection 9 ! pres5t case2 ?is "w ( grace hav+ be5 begun & c>ri$ on by almo/ "o cont9u$ /ra9 ( ,gospel invitation to p]i%+ s9n]s4 ,?is may reasonably be guess$1 f a view ( ! passages ( ,scripture ,i *iefly insi/$ ^u 9 my disc\rses f "t to "t2 :i* ,i h = t purpose ins]t$ 9 my di>y4 8,nor h ,i ev] se5 s g5]al an awak5+ 9 any assembly 9 my life z appe>$ "h :ile ,i 0 op5+ & insi/+ ^u ! p>able ( ! great supp]4 ,luke1 #ad4 ,9 :i* disc\rse ,i 0 enabl$ to set be=e my he>]s ! unse>*able ri*es ( ,gospel grace4 ,n t ,i w\ld be und]/ood "h t ,i nev] in/ruct$ ! ,indians respect+ _! fall5 /ate1 & ! s9fulness & mis]y ( x2 = ?is 0 :at ,i at fir/ *iefly insi/$ ^u ) !m1 & endeavor$ to repeat & inculcate 9 almo/ e disc\rse1 kn[+ t )\t ?is f\ndation ,i %\ld b build ^u ! s&1 & t x w\ld be 9 va9 to invite !m to ,*ri/ unless ,i c\ld conv9ce !m ( _! ne$ ( him4 ,m>k1 #b3ag4 8,b /ill ?is great awak5+1 ?is surpris+ conc]n1 0 nev] excit$ by any h>angues ( t]ror1 b always appe>$ mo/ rem>kable :5 ,i insi/$ ^u ! compassion ( a dy+ ,savior1 ! pl5tiful provisions ( ! ,gospel1 & ! free (f]s ( div9e grace to ne$y1 di/ress$ s9n]s4 ,nor w\ld ,i be und]/ood to ins9uate1 t su* a religi\s conc]n might ju/ly be suspect$ z n be+ g5u9e & f a div9e influ5ce1 if produc$ f ! prea*+ ( t]ror2 = ?is is p]haps ,god's m usual way ( awak5+ s9n]s1 & appe>s entirely agreeable to ,scripture & s\nd reason4 ,b :at ,i meant "h to obs]ve is1 t ,god saw fit to employ & bless mild] means = ! effectual awak5+ ( ^! ,indians1 & !reby obviat$ ! =em5tion$ objection1 :i* ! _w might o!rwise h _h a m plausible color ( mak+4 8,z !re has be5 no room = any plausible objection aga9/ ?is "w1 ) reg>d to ! means1 s nei!r ) reg>d to ! mann] 9 :i* x has be5 c>ri$ on4 ,x is true1 p]sons' conc]n = _! s\ls h be5 exce$+ great2 ! convictions ( _! s9 & mis]y h aris5 to a high degree1 & produc$ _m te>s1 cries1 & groans2 b !n !y h n be5 att5d$ ) ^? disord]s1 ei!r bodily or m5tal1 :i* h sometimes prevail$ among p]sons "u religi\s impressions4 ,!re has "h be5 no appe>ance ( ^? convulsions1 bodily agonies1 frightful scream+s1 swoon+s1 & ! l1 :i* h be5 s mu* compla9$ ( 9 "s places2 al?\gh !re h be5 "s1 :o1 ) ! jail]1 h be5 made to tremble "u a s5se ( _! s9 & mis]y1 & h be5 made to cry out f a di/ress+ view ( _! p]i%+ /ate4 8,nor has !re be5 any appe>ance ( m5tal disord]s "h1 su* z visions1 trances1 imag9ations ( be+ "u prophetic inspiration1 & ! l2 or sc>ce any unbecom+ disposition to appe> rem>kably affect$ ei!r ) conc]n or joy2 ?\gh ,i mu/ confess ,i obs]v$ "o or two p]sons1 ^: conc]n ,i ?\ght 0 9 a consid]able measure affect$2 & "o ^: joy appe>$ to be ( ! same k9d4 ,b ^! work+s ( spiritual pride ,i endeavor$ to cru% 9 _! fir/ appe>ances1 & h n s9ce obs]v$ any affection1 ei!r ( joy or sorr[1 b :at appe>$ g5u9e & unaffect$4 ,b1 ,la/ly4 ,! effects ( ?is "w h likewise be5 v rem>kable4 ,i d\bt n b t _m ( ^! p h ga9$ m doctr9al k ( div9e tru?s s9ce ,i fir/ visit$ !m 9 ,june la/1 ?an c\ld h be5 in/ill$ into _! m9ds by ! mo/ dilig5t use ( prop] & in/ructive means = :ole ye>s toge!r1 )\t su* a div9e influ5ce4 ,_! pagan notions & idolatr\s practices seem to be entirely ab&on$ 9 ^! p>ts4 ,!y are regulat$2 & appe> regul>ly dispos$ 9 ! affairs ( m>riage2 an in/ance :]e( ,i h giv5 9 my j\rnal ( ,augu/ #ad4 ,!y seem g5]ally divorc$ f drunk5ness1 _! d>l+ vice1 ! #8s9 t easily besets !m2' s t ,i d n "k ( m ?an two or ?ree1 :o h be5 my /eady he>]s1 t h drank to excess s9ce ,i fir/ visit$ !m2 al?\gh be=e x 0 common = "s or o!r ( !m to be drunk almo/ e day3 & "s ( !m seem n[ to fe> ?is s9 9 p>ticul>1 m ?an dea? itself4 ,a pr9ciple ( hone/y & ju/ice appe>s 9 _m ( !m2 & !y seem conc]n$ to dis*>ge _! old debts1 :i* !y h neglect$1 & p]haps sc>cely ?\ght ( = ye>s pa/4 ,_! mann] ( liv+ is mu* m dec5t & com=table ?an =m]ly1 hav+ n[ ! b5efit ( t money :i* !y us$ to consume ^u /rong dr9k4 ,love seems to reign among !m1 especially ^? :o h giv5 evid5ces ( hav+ pass$ a sav+ *ange3 & ,i nev] saw any appe>ance ( bitt]ness or c5sori\sness 9 ^!1 nor any disposition to #8e/eem !mselves bett] ?an o!rs1' :o _h n receiv$ ! l m]cy4 8,z _! sorr[s "u convictions h be5 great & press+1 s _m ( !m h s9ce appe>$ to #8rejoice ) joy unspeakable1 & full ( glory2' & yet ,i nev] saw any ?+ ec/atic or flighty 9 _! joy4 ,_! consolations d n incl9e !m to lightness2 b1 on ! contr>y1 are att5d$ ) solemnity1 & (t5 times ) te>s1 & an app>5t brok5ness ( he>t1 z may be se5 9 sev]al passages ( my di>y4 ,9 ?is respect "s ( !m h be5 surpris$ at !mselves1 & h ) conc]n obs]v$ to me1 t #8:5 _! he>ts h be5 glad1' :i* is a phrase !y commonly make use ( to express spiritual joy1 #8!y c\ld n help cry+ = all4' 8,& n[1 ^u ! :ole1 ,i ?9k ,i may ju/ly say1 t "h are all ! symptoms & evid5ces ( a rem>kable "w ( grace among ^! ,indians1 :i* c reasonably be desir$ or expect$4 ,may ! great ,au?or ( ?is "w ma9ta9 & promote ! same "h1 & propagate x e :]e1 till #8! :ole e>? be fill$ ) 8 glory6' ,am54 8,i h n[ rode m ?an ?ree ?\s& miles1 ( :i* ,i h kept an exact acc\nt1 s9ce ! beg9n+ ( ,m>* la/1 & almo/ ! :ole ( x has be5 9 my own prop] bus9ess z a mission>y1 ^u ! design1 ei!r imm$iately or m remotely1 ( propagat+ ,*ri/ian k among ! ,indians4 ,i h tak5 pa9s to look out = a colleague or companion1 to travel ) me2 & h likewise us$ endeavors to procure some?+ = 8 support1 among religi\s p]sons 9 ,new-,engl&1 :i* co/ me a j\rney ( sev]al hundr$ miles2 b h n1 z yet1 f\nd any p]son qualifi$ & dispos$ = ?is good "w1 al?\gh ,i _h "s enc\ragem5t f m9i/]s & o!rs1 t x 0 hop$ a ma9t5ance might be procur$ = "o1 :5 ! man %\ld be f\nd4 8,i h likewise ( late repres5t$ to ! g5tlem5 conc]n$ ) ?is mission1 ! necessity ( hav+ an ,engli% s*ool spe$ily set up among ^! ,indians1 :o are n[ will+ to be at ! pa9s ( ga!r+ toge!r 9 a body1 = ?is purpose4 ,9 ord] !reto1 ,i h humbly propos$ to !m ! collect+ ( money = ! ma9t5ance ( a s*oolma/]1 & ! defray+ ( o!r necess>y *>ges1 9 ! promotion ( ?is good "w2 :i* !y are n[ attempt+ 9 ! sev]al congregations ( ,*ri/ians to :i* !y respectively belong4 8,! sev]al companies ( ,indians to :om ,i h prea*$ 9 ! summ] pa/1 live at great di/ances f ea* o!r4 ,x is m ?an sev5ty miles f ,crossweeksung1 9 ,new-,j]sey1 to ! ,=ks ( ,delaw>e 9 ,p5nsylvania2 & !nce to sundry ( ! ,indian settlem5ts :i* ,i visit$ on ! ,susquehanna1 is m ?an an hundr$ & tw5ty miles4 ,s mu* ( my "t is necess>ily consum$ 9 j\rney+1 t ,i c h b little = any ( my necess>y /udies1 & consequ5tly = ! /udy ( ! ,indian languages 9 p>ticul>2 & especially see+ ,i am oblig$ to disc\rse s frequ5tly to ! ,indians at ea* ( ^! places :ile ,i am ) !m1 9 ord] to r$eem "t to visit ! re/4 ,i am1 at times1 almo/ disc\rag$ f attempt+ to ga9 any acqua9tance ) ! ,indian languages1 !y are s v num]\s2 "s acc\nt ( :i* ,i gave 9 my di>y ( ,may la/2 & especially1 see+ my o!r labors & fatigues engross almo/ ! :ole ( my "t1 & be> exce$+ly h>d ^u my con/itution1 s t my heal? is mu* impair$4 ,h[ev]1 ,i h tak5 consid]able pa9s to le>n ! ,delaw>e language1 & propose /ill to d s1 z f> z my o!r bus9ess & bodily heal? w admit4 ,i h already made "s pr(ici5cy 9 x1 ?\gh ,i h labor$ "u _m & great disadvantages 9 my attempts ( t nature4 ,x is b j to obs]ve "h1 t all ! pa9s ,i took to acqua9t myself ) ! language ( ! ,indians ) :om ,i sp5t my fir/ ye>1 7 ( little or no s]vice to me "h among ! ,delaw>es2 s t my "w1 :5 ,i came among ^! ,indians1 0 all to be begun anew4 8,z ^! poor ignorant pagans /ood 9 ne$ ( hav+ #8l9e ^u l9e1 & precept ^u precept1' 9 ord] to _! be+ in/ruct$ & gr\nd$ 9 ! pr9ciples ( ,*ri/ianity2 s ,i prea*$ #8publicly1 & taught f h\se to h\se1' almo/ e day = :ole weeks toge!r1 :5 ,i 0 ) !m4 ,my public disc\rses did n !n make up ! "o half ( my "w1 :ile !re 7 s _m con/antly com+ to me ) t important inquiry1 #8,:at mu/ we d to be sav$8' & op5+ to me ! v>i\s ex]cises ( _! m9ds4 ,yet ,i c say1 to ! praise ( div9e grace1 t ! app>5t success1 ) :i* my labors 7 cr[n$1 unspeakably m ?an comp5sat$ = ! labor itself1 & 0 likewise a great means ( support+ & c>ry+ me ?r\gh ! bus9ess & fatigues "u :i*1 x seems1 my nature w\ld h sunk )\t su* an enc\rag+ prospect4 ,b al?\gh ?is success has af=d$ matt] ( support1 com=t1 & ?ankfulness2 yet 9 ?is season ,i h f\nd great ne$ ( assi/ance 9 my "w1 & h be5 mu* oppress$ = want ( "o to be> a "p ( my labors & h>d%ips4 #8,may ! ,"l ( ! h>ve/ s5d =? o!r labor]s into ?is "p ( 8 h>ve/1 t ^? :o sit 9 d>kness may see great light2 & t ! :ole e>? may be fill$ ) ! k ( himself6 ,am54'0 ,,*apt] ,,viii4 ,be+ "p #b;d ( 8 public j\rnal ( 8! ,cont9uance & ,progress ( a rem>kable "w ( grace among ! ,indians 9 ,new-,j]sey & ,p5nsylvania kept by ord] ( ! ,society 9 ,scotl& = propagat+ ,*ri/ian k40--,r5ewal ( labor at ,crossweeksung--outp\r+ ( ! _s--rem>kable case--signal displays ( div9e p[]--a conv]t--a numb] ( ,*ri/ian ,indians accompany him to ! ,=ks ( ,delaw>e--/rik+ conv]sion at ,crossweeksung--day ( fa/+--,"l's supp]--conv]sion ( a ,conjur]--g5]al rem>ks on ! prec$+ n>rative4 ,nov4 #e1 #agde4--;,june #ai1 #agdf4 ,crossweeksung1 ,new-,j]sey1 #agde4 ,"l's day1 ,nov4 #bd4--8,prea*$ bo? p>ts ( ! day f ! /ory ( ,zac*eus4 ,luke1 #ai3a-i4 ,9 ! latt] ex]cise1 :5 ,i op5$ & insi/$ ^u ! salvation t comes to a s9n] ^u 8 becom+ a son ( ,abraham1 or a true believ]1 ! ^w seem$ to be att5d$ ) div9e p[] to ! he>ts ( ! he>]s4 ,numb]s 7 mu* affect$ ) div9e tru?2 =m] convictions 7 reviv$2 "o or two p]sons newly awak5$2 & a mo/ affectionate engagem5t 9 div9e s]vice appe>$ among !m univ]sally4 ,! impressions !y 7 "u appe>$ to be ! g5u9e effect ( ,god's ^w br\ght home to _! he>ts by ! p[] & influ5ce ( ! ,div9e ,_s4 ,nov4 #bf4--8;,aft] hav+ sp5t "s "t 9 private conf]5ces ) my p1 ,i disc\rs$ publicly among !m f ,john1 #e3a-i4 ,i 0 favor$ ) "s special fre$om & f]v5cy 9 my disc\rse1 & a p[]ful en]gy accompani$ div9e tru?4 ,_m wept & sobb$ affectionately1 & sc>cely any appe>$ unconc]n$ 9 ! :ole assembly4 ,! influ5ce :i* seiz$ ! audi5ce appe>$ g5tle1 & yet pung5t & efficaci\s4 ,x produc$ no boi/]\s commotion ( ! passions2 b seem$ deeply to affect ! he>t1 & excite 9 ! p]sons "u convictions ( _! lo/ /ate1 heavy groans & te>s2 & 9 o!rs1 :o _h obta9$ com=t1 a sweet & humble melt+4 ,x seem$ l ! g5tle b /eady %[]s :i* effectually wat] ! e>?1 )\t viol5tly beat+ ^u ! surface4 ,! p]sons lately awak5$ 7 "s ( !m deeply di/ress$ = _! s\ls1 & appe>$ e>ne/ly solicit\s to obta9 an int]e/ 9 ,*ri/2 & "s ( !m1 aft] public wor%ip 0 ov]1 9 angui% ( _s1 said #8!y knew n :at to d1 nor h[ to get _! wick$ he>ts *ang$1' c4 ,nov4 #bh4--8;,disc\rs$ to ! ,indians publicly1 aft] hav+ us$ "s private endeavors to in/ruct & excite "s 9 ! duties ( ,*ri/ianity4 ,op5$ & made rem>ks ^u ! sacr$ /ory ( our ,"l's transfiguration4 ,luke1 #i3bh-cf4 ,_h a pr9cipal view 9 insi/+ ^u ?is passage ( ,scripture to ! edification & consolation ( ,god's p4 ,obs]v$ "s1 t ,i h reason to ?9k are truly su*1 exce$+ly affect$ ) an acc\nt ( ! glory ( ,*ri/ 9 8 transfiguration1 & fill$ ) long+ desires ( be+ ) him1 t !y might ) op5 face behold 8 glory4 8,aft] public s]vice 0 ov]1 ,i ask$ "o ( !m1 :o wept & sobb$ mo/ affectionately1 :at %e n[ want$8 ,%e repli$1 #8,o1 to be ) ,*ri/4 ,%e did n "k h[ to /ay1' c4 ,?is 0 a bless$ refre%+ season to ! religi\s p 9 g5]al4 ,! ,"l ,jesus ,*ri/ seem$ to manife/ 8 div9e glory to !m1 z :5 transfigur$ be=e 8 disciples2 & !y 7 ready1 ) ! disciples1 univ]sally to say1 #8,"l x is good = u to be "h4' 8,! influ5ce ( ,god's ^w 0 n conf9$ to ^? :o _h giv5 evid5ce ( be+ truly graci\s3 ?\gh at ?is "t ,i calculat$ my disc\rse = & direct$ x *iefly to su*4 ,b x appe>$ to be a season ( div9e p[] 9 ! :ole assembly2 s t mo/ 7 9 "s measure affect$4 ,"o ag$ man1 9 p>ticul>1 lately awak5$1 0 n[ br\ght "u a deep & press+ conc]n = 8 s\l1 0 n[ e>ne/ly inquisitive #8h[ he might f9d ,jesus ,*ri/4' ,god seems /ill to v\*safe 8 div9e pres5ce1 & ! influ5ce ( 8 bless$ ,_s to accompany 8 ^w1 at lea/ 9 "s measure1 9 all our meet+s = div9e wor%ip4 ,nov4 #cj4--8,prea*$ ne> night1 aft] hav+ sp5t "s h\rs 9 private conf]5ce ) "s ( my p ab\t _! s\ls' conc]ns4 ,expla9$ ! /ory ( ! ri* man & ,laz>us4 ,luke1 #af3ai-bf4 ,! ^w made p[]ful impressions ^u _m 9 ! assembly1 especially :ile ,i disc\rs$ ( ! bless$ness ( ,laz>us 9 ,abraham's bosom4 ,?is ,i c\ld p]ceive affect$ !m mu* m ?an :at ,i spoke ( ! ri* man's mis]y & torm5ts2 & ?us x has be5 usually ) !m4 ,!y h almo/ always appe>$ mu* m affect$ ) ! com=table ?an ! dreadful tru?s ( ,god's ^w4 ,t :i* has di/ress$ _m ( !m "u conviction is1 t !y f\nd !y want$ & c\ld n obta9 ! happ9ess ( ! godly2 at lea/ !y h (t5 appe>$ to be m affect$ ) ?is ?an ) ! t]rors ( hell4 ,b :atev] be ! means ( _! awak5+1 x is pla91 numb]s are made deeply s5sible ( _! s9 & mis]y1 ! wick$ness & /ubbornness ( _! own he>ts1 _! utt] inability to help !mselves1 or to come to ,*ri/ = help )\t div9e assi/ance1 & s are br\ght to see _! p]i%+ ne$ ( ,*ri/ to d all = !m1 & to lie at ! foot ( sov]eign m]cy4 ,"l's day1 ,dec4 #a4--8;,disc\rs$ to my p 9 ! =5oon f ,luke1 #af3bg-ca4 ,!re appe>$ an unfeign$ affection 9 _m1 & "s seem$ deeply impress$ ) div9e tru?4 ,9 ! aft]noon prea*$ to a numb] ( :ite p2 at :i* "t ! ,indians att5d$ ) dilig5ce1 & _m ( !m 7 able to und]/& a consid]able "p ( ! disc\rse4 ,at night disc\rs$ to my p aga91 & gave !m p>ticul> cautions & directions relat+ to _! conduct 9 div]s respects1 & press$ !m to wat*fulness 9 _! deportm5t1 see+ !y 7 encompass$ ) ^? :o wait$ = _! halt+1 & :o /ood ready to draw !m into temptations ( e k9d1 & !n to expose religion by _! mis/eps4 ,"l's day1 ,dec4 #h4--8;,disc\rs$ on ! /ory ( ! bl9d man4 ,john1 #i4 ,!re appe>$ no rem>kable effect ( ! ^w ^u ! assembly at ?is "t4 ,! p]sons :o h lately be5 mu* conc]n$ = _! s\ls seem$ n[ n s affect$ or solicit\s to obta9 an int]e/ 9 ,*ri/ z has be5 usual1 al?\gh !y att5d$ div9e s]vice ) s]i\sness & dilig5ce4 ,su* h be5 ! do+s ( ! ,"l "h 9 awak5+ s9n]s1 & affect+ ! he>ts ( ^? :o are br\ght to solid com=t1 ) a fre% s5se ( div9e ?+s f "t to "t1 t x is n[ /range to see ! assembly sit ) dry eyes1 & )\t sobs & groans4 ,dec4 #ab4--8,prea*$ f ! p>able ( ! ,t5 ,virg9s4 ,matt4 #be4 ,! div9e p[] seem$ 9 "s measure to att5d ?is disc\rse2 9 :i* ,i 0 favor$ ) uncommon fre$om & pla9ness ( address1 & enabl$ to op5 div9e tru?s1 & expla9 !m to ! capacities ( my p 9 a mann] beyond myself4 ,!re appe>$ 9 _m p]sons an affectionate conc]n = _! s\ls1 al?\gh ! conc]n 9 g5]al seem$ n s deep & press+ z x _h =m]ly done4 ,yet x 0 refre%+ to see _m melt$ into te>s & unaffect$ sobs2 "s ) a s5se ( div9e love1 & "s = ! want ( x4 ,dec4 #ae4--8,prea*$ to ! ,indians f ,luke1 #ac3bd-bh4 ,div9e tru? fell ) weight & p[] ^u ! audi5ce1 & seem$ to rea* ! he>ts ( _m4 ,ne> night disc\rs$ to !m aga9 f ,matt4 #be3ca-df4 ,at ?is season also ! ^w appe>$ to be accompani$ ) a div9e influ5ce1 & made p[]ful impressions ^u ! assembly 9 g5]al1 z well z ^u numb]s 9 a v special & p>ticul> mann]4 ,?is 0 an amaz+ season ( grace4 ,! ^w ( ! ,"l ?is day #80 quick & p[]ful1 %>p] ?an a two-edg$ sword1' & pi]c$ ! he>ts ( _m4 ,! assembly 0 greatly affect$ & deeply wr\ght ^u2 yet )\t s mu* app>5t commotion ( ! passions z appe>$ 9 ! beg9n+ ( ?is "w ( grace4 ,! impressions made by ! ^w ( ,god ^u ! audi5ce appe>$ solid1 rational1 & deep2 wor?y ( ! solemn tru?s by means ( :i* !y 7 produc$1 & f> f be+ ! effects ( any sudd5 fright1 or gr\ndless p]turbation ( m9d4 ,o h[ did ! he>ts ( ! he>]s seem to b[ "u ! weight ( div9e tru?1 & h[ evid5t did x n[ appe> t !y receiv$ & felt !m1 #8n z ! ^w ( man1 b z ! ^w ( ,god4' ,none c =m a j idea ( ! appe>ance ( our assembly at ?is "t1 b ^? :o h se5 a congregation solemnly aw$1 & deeply impress$ by ! special p[] & influ5ce ( div9e tru?s deliv]$ to !m 9 ! "n ( ,god4 ,dec4 #af4--8;,disc\rs$ to my p 9 ! ev5+ f ,luke1 #aa3a-ac4 ,aft] hav+ insi/$ "s "t ^u ! n9? v]se1 :]e9 !re is a comm& & enc\ragem5t to ask = ! div9e favor1 ,i call$ ^u !m to ask = a new he>t ) ! utmo/ importunity1 z ! man m5tion$ 9 ! p>able1 on :i* ,i 0 disc\rs+1 plead$ = loaves ( bread at midnight4 ,!re 0 mu* affection & conc]n 9 ! assembly1 & especially "o woman appe>$ 9 great di/ress = h] s\l4 ,%e 0 br\ght to su* an agony 9 seek+ aft] ,*ri/1 t ! sweat ran (f h] face = a consid]able "t1 ?\gh ! ev5+ 0 v cold2 & h] bitt] cries 7 ! mo/ affect+ indications ( h] he>t4 ,dec4 #ba4--8,my p hav+ n[ atta9$ to a consid]able degree ( k 9 ! pr9ciples ( *ri/ianity2 ,i ?\ght x prop] to set up a cate*etical lecture among !m1 & ?is ev5+ attempt$ some?+ 9 t =m1 propos+ que/ions to !m agreeably to ! ,assembly's ,%ort] ,cate*ism1 receiv+ _! answ]s1 & !n expla9+ & insi/+1 z appe>$ necess>y & prop] ^u ea* "q4 ,aft] ?is ,i endeavor$ to make "s practical improvem5t ( ! :ole4 ,?is 0 ! me?od ,i ent]$ ^u4 ,!y 7 able readily & rationally to answ] _m important que/ions :i* ,i propos$ to !m2 s t ^u trial ,i f\nd _! doctr9al k to exce$ my own expectations4 ,9 ! improvem5t ( my disc\rse1 :5 ,i came to inf] & op5 ! bless$ness ( ^? :o h s great & glori\s a ,god z _h be=e be5 spok5 (1 #8= _! ev]la/+ fri5d & portion1' sev]al 7 mu* affect$2 & especially :5 ,i exhort$1 & endeavor$ to p]suade !m to be reconcil$ to ,god ?r\gh 8 de> ,son1 & ?us to secure an int]e/ 9 8 ev]la/+ favor4 ,s t !y appe>$ n only enlight5$ & in/ruct$1 b affect$1 & engag$ 9 _! s\l's conc]ns by ?is me?od ( disc\rs+4 ,"l's day1 ,dec4 #bb4--8;,disc\rs$ ^u ! /ory ( ! "y man 9 ! ,gospel4 ,matt4 #i3af-bb4 ,god made x a seasonable ^w1 ,i am p]suad$1 to "s s\ls1 & 9 p>ticul> to "o1 ! same m5tion$ 9 my j\rnal ( ! #af? in/ant1 :o nev] be=e obta9$ any settl$ com=t1 ?\gh ,i h abundant reason to ?9k %e _h pass$ a sav+ *ange "s days be=e4 ,%e n[ appe>$ 9 a heav5ly frame ( m9d1 compos$ & delight$ ) ! div9e w4 ,:5 ,i came to disc\rse p>ticul>ly ) h]1 & to inquire ( h] h[ %e obta9$ relief & deliv]ance f ! spiritual di/resses :i* %e _h lately suff]$1 %e answ]$1 9 brok5 ,engli%1 #8,me try1 me try save myself2 la/1 my /r5g? be all gone2 7mean+ h] ability to save h]self27 c\ld n me /ir bit fur!r4 ,d5 la/ me =c$ let ,jesus ,*ri/ alone s5d me hell1 if he please4' ,i said1 #8,b y 0 n will+ to g to hell1 0 y8' ,%e repli$1 #8,c\ld n me help x4 ,my he>t1 he w\ld wick$ = all4 ,c\ld n me make him good1' 7mean+1 %e saw x 0 "r %e %\ld g to hell1 because h] he>t 0 wick$1 & w\ld be s aft] all %e c\ld d to m5d x47 ,i ask$ h] h[ %e got out ( ?is case4 ,%e answ]$ /ill 9 ! same brok5 language1 #8,by by1 my he>t be glad desp]ately4' ,i ask$ h] :y h] he>t 0 glad8 ,%e repli$1 #8,glad my he>t1 ,jesus ,*ri/ d :at he please ) me4 ,did n me c>e :]e he put me2 love him = all1' c4 ,%e c\ld n readily be conv9c$ b t %e 0 will+ to g to hell if ,*ri/ 0 pleas$ to s5d h] !re2 al?\gh ! tru? evid5tly 01 t h] w 0 s swall[$ up 9 ! div9e w t %e c\ld n frame any hell 9 h] imag9ation :i* w\ld be dreadful or undesirable1 provid$ x 0 ! w ( ,god to s5d h] to x4 ,t[>d night disc\rs$ to !m aga9 9 ! cate*etical me?od :i* ,i ent]$ ^u ! ev5+ be=e4 ,:5 ,i came to improve ! tru? :i* ,i _h expla9$ to !m1 & to answ] t "q1 #8,b h[ %all ,i "k :e!r ,god has *os5 me to ev]la/+ life8' by press+ !m to come & give up _! he>ts to ,*ri/1 & !reby #8to make _! election sure1' !y !n appe>$ mu* affect$1 & ! p]sons "u conc]n 7 afre% engag$ 9 seek+ aft] an int]e/ 9 him2 :ile "s o!rs1 :o _h obta9$ com=t be=e1 7 refre%$ to f9d t love to ,god 9 !mselves :i* 0 an evid5ce ( 8 elect+ love to !m4 ,dec4 #be4--8,! ,indians hav+ be5 us$ on ,*ri/mas days to dr9k & revel among "s ( ! :ite p 9 ^! p>ts1 ,i ?\ght x prop] ?is day to call !m toge!r & disc\rse to !m ^u div9e ?+s2 :i* ,i accord+ly did f ! p>able ( ! b>r5 fig-tree4 ,luke1 #ac3f-i4 ,a div9e influ5ce1 ,i am p]suad$1 accompani$ ! ^w at ?is season4 ,! p[] ( ,god appe>$ 9 ! assembly1 n by produc+ any rem>kable cries1 b by r\s+ sev]al /upid creatures :o 7 sc>cely ev] mov$ ) any conc]n be=e4 ,! p[] att5d+ div9e tru? seem$ to h ! influ5ce ( ! e>?quake r ?an ( ! :irlw9d ^u !m4 ,_! passions 7 n s mu* al>m$ z has be5 common "h 9 times pa/1 b _! judgm5ts appe>$ to be p[]fully conv9c$ by ! ma/]ly & conqu]+ influ5ce ( div9e tru?4 ,! impressions made ^u ! assembly 9 g5]al1 seem$ n sup]ficial1 b deep1 & he>t affect+4 ,o h[ ready did !y n[ appe> univ]sally to embrace & comply ) e ?+ :i* !y he>d1 & 7 conv9c$ 0 _! duty4 ,god 0 9 ! mid/ ( u1 ( a tru?1 b[+ & melt+ /ubborn he>ts6 ,h[ _m te>s & sobs 7 !n to be se5 & he>d among u6 ,:at livel9ess & /rict att5tion6 ,:at eag]ness & int5s5ess ( m9d appe>$ 9 ! :ole assembly1 9 ! "t ( div9e s]vice4 ,!y seem$ to wat* & wait = ! dropp+s ( ,god's ^w1 z ! ?ir/y e>?1 = ! #8=m] & latt] ra94' 8,aft]w>d ,i disc\rs$ to !m on ! duty ( husb&s & wives1 f ,eph4 #e3bb-cc1 & h reason to ?9k ?is 0 a ^w 9 season4 ,sp5t "s "t fur!r 9 ! ev5+ 9 inculcat+ ! tru?s on :i* ,i _h insi/$ 9 my =m] disc\rse1 respect+ ! b>r5 fig-tree2 & obs]v$ a p[]ful influ5ce /ill accompany :at 0 spok54 ,dec4 #bf4--8,?is ev5+ 0 visit$ by a p]son "u great spiritual di/ress2 ! mo/ rem>kable in/ance ( ?is k9d ,i ev] saw4 ,%e 01 ,i believe1 m ?an f\rscore ye>s old2 & appe>$ to be mu* brok5 & v *ildi%1 ?r\gh age2 s t x seem$ impossible = man to in/il into h] any notions ( div9e ?+s2 n s mu* z to give h] any doctr9al in/ruction1 because %e seem$ incapable ( be+ taught4 ,%e 0 l$ by ! h& into my h\se1 & appe>$ 9 extreme angui%4 ,i ask$ h] :at ail$ h]8 ,%e answ]$1 #8h] he>t 0 di/ress$1 & %e fe>$ %e %\ld nev] f9d ,*ri/4' ,i ask$ h] :5 %e began to be conc]n$1 ) div]s o!r que/ions relat+ to h] di/ress4 ,to all :i* %e answ]$1 = sub/ance1 to ?is effect3 #8,t %e _h he>d me prea* _m times1 b nev] knew any ?+ ab\t x1 nev] felt x 9 h] he>t1 till ! la/ ,sabba?1 & !n x came1' %e said1 #8z if a ne$le _h be5 ?ru/ into h] he>t2 s9ce :i* "t %e _h no re/ day nor night4' ,%e add$1 #8t on ! ev5+ be=e ,*ri/mas1 a numb] ( ,indians be+ toge!r1 at ! h\se :]e %e 01 & disc\rs+ ab\t ,*ri/1 _! talk prick$ h] he>t s t %e c\ld n set up1 b fell d[n 9 h] b$2 at :i* ,lime %e w5t away1' z %e express$ x1 #8& felt z if %e dream$1 & yet is confid5t %e did n dream4 ,:5 %e 0 ?us gone1 %e saw two pa?s2 "o appe>$ v broad & crook$2 & t turn$ to ! left h&4 ,! o!r appe>$ /raight & v n>r[2 & t w5t up ! hill to ! "r h&4 ,%e travel$1' %e said1 #8= "s "t up ! n>r[ "r h& pa?1 till at l5g? some?+ seem$ to ob/ruct h] j\rney4 ,%e sometimes call$ x d>kness2 & !n describ$ x o!rwise1 & seem$ to comp>e x to a block or b>4 ,%e !n rememb]$ :at %e _h he>d me say ab\t /riv+ to ent] 9 at ! /rait gate1 al?\gh %e took little notice ( x at ! "t :5 %e he>d me disc\rse ^u t subject2 & ?\ght %e w\ld climb ov] ?is b>4 ,b j z %e 0 ?9k+ ( ?is1 %e came back aga91' z %e t]m$ x1 mean+ t %e came to h]self2 #8:]eupon h] s\l 0 extremely di/ress$1 appreh5d+ t %e _h n[ turn$ back1 & =sak5 ,*ri/1 & t !re 0 !re=e no hope ( m]cy = h]4' 8,z ,i 0 s5sible t trances1 & imag9>y views ( ?+s are ( dang]\s t5d5cy 9 religion1 :]e s\ght aft] & dep5d$ ^u2 s ,i c\ld n b be mu* conc]n$ ab\t ?is ex]cise1 especially at fir/2 appreh5d+ ?is might be a design ( satan to br+ a blemi% ^u ! "w ( ,god "h1 by introduc+ vision>y sc5es1 imag9>y t]rors1 & all mann] ( m5tal disord]s & delusions1 9 ! room ( g5u9e convictions ( s91 & ! enlight5+ influ5ces ( ! bless$ ,_s2 & ,i 0 almo/ resolv$ to decl>e1 t ,i look$ ^u ?is to be "o ( satan's devices1 & to caution my p aga9/ ?is & simil> ex]cises ( t nature4 ,h[ev]1 ,i det]m9$ fir/ to inquire into h] k1 to see :e!r %e _h any j views ( ?+s1 t might be ! occasion ( h] pres5t di/ress+ conc]n1 or :e!r x 0 a m]e fright1 aris+ only f imag9>y t]rors4 ,i ask$ h] num]\s que/ions respect+ man's primitive1 & m especially1 8 pres5t /ate1 & respect+ h] own he>t2 :i* %e answ]$ rationally1 & to my surprise4 ,i ?\ght x next to impossible1 if n altoge!r s1 t a ,pagan1 :o 0 become a *ild ?r\gh age1 %\ld 9 t /ate ga9 s mu* k by any m]e human in/ruction1 )\t be+ rem>kably enlight5$ by a div9e influ5ce4 ,i !n propos$ to h] ! provision made 9 ! gospel = ! salvation ( s9n]s1 & ! ability & will+ness ( ,*ri/ #8to save to ! utt]mo/ all1 old z well z "y1 t come to him4' ,to ?is %e seem$ to give a he>ty ass5t2 b in/antly repli$1 #8,ay1 b ,i _c come2 my wick$ he>t w n come to ,*ri/2 ,i d n "k h[ to come1' c4 ,?is %e spoke 9 angui% ( _s1 /rik+ on h] brea/1 ) te>s 9 h] eyes1 & ) su* e>ne/ness 9 h] looks z 0 inde$ pite\s & affect+4 ,%e seems to be really conv9c$ ( h] s9 & mis]y1 & h] ne$ ( a *ange ( he>t4 ,h] conc]n is abid+ & con/ant1 s t no?+ appe>s :y ?is ex]cise may n h a sav+ issue4 ,inde$ !re seems reason to hope su* an issue1 see+ %e is s solicit\s to obta9 an int]e/ 9 ,*ri/1 t h] he>t1 z %e expresses x1 prays day & night4 8,h[ f> ,god may make use ( ! imag9ation 9 awak5+ "s p]sons "u ^!1 & simil> circum/ances1 ,i _c pret5d to det]m9e4 ,or1 :e!r ?is ex]cise be f a div9e influ5ce1 ,i %all leave o!rs to judge4 ,b ?is ,i mu/ say1 t its effects hi!rto bespeak x to be su*2 nor c x1 z ,i see1 be acc\nt$ = 9 any rational way1 b f ! influ5ce ( "s _s ei!r good or evil4 ,! woman ,i am sure nev] he>d div9e ?+s 9 ! mann] 9 :i* %e n[ view$ !m2 & x w\ld seem /range t %e %\ld get su* a rational notion ( !m f ! m]e work+ ( h] own fancy1 )\t "s sup]ior1 or at lea/ =eign aid4 ,yet ,i mu/ say1 ,i h look$ ^u x z "o ( ! glories ( ?is "w ( grace among ! ,indians1 & a special evid5ce ( its be+ f a div9e influ5ce1 t !re has1 till n[1 be5 no appe>ance ( su* ?+s1 no vision>y notions1 trances1 & imag9ations1 int]mix$ ) ^? rational convictions ( s91 & solid consolations1 ( :i* numb]s h be5 made ! subjects4 ,& might ,i h _h my desire1 !re _h be5 no appe>ance ( any ?+ ( ?is nature at all4 ,dec4 #bh4 8,disc\rs$ to my p 9 ! cate*etical me?od on :i* ,i lately ent]$4 ,9 ! improvem5t ( my disc\rse1 :]e9 ,i 0 comp>+ man's pres5t ) 8 primitive /ate1 & %[+ f :at he _h fall51 & ! mis]ies 9 :i* he is n[ involv$1 & to :i* he is expos$ 9 8 natural e/ate2 & press+ s9n]s to take a view ( _! deplorable circum/ances )\t ,*ri/1 z also to /rive t !y might obta9 an int]e/ 9 him2 ! ,"l1 ,i tru/1 grant$ a rem>kable influ5ce ( 8 bless$ ,_s to accompany :at 0 spok52 & a great conc]n appe>$ 9 ! assembly4 ,_m 7 melt$ into te>s & sobs2 & ! impressions made ^u !m seem$ deep & he>t-affect+4 ,9 p>ticul>1 !re 7 two or ?ree p]sons :o appe>$ to be br\ght to ! la/ ex]cises ( a prep>atory "w1 & r$uc$ almo/ to extremity2 be+ 9 a great measure conv9c$ ( ! impossibility ( _! help+ !mselves1 or ( m5d+ _! own he>ts2 & seem$ to be ^u ! po9t ( giv+ up all hope 9 !mselves1 & ( v5tur+ ^u ,*ri/1 z poor1 helpless1 & undone4 ,yet !y 7 9 di/ress & angui% because !y saw no safety 9 s do+1 unless !y c\ld d some?+ t[>d sav+ !mselves4 ,"o ( ^! p]sons 0 ! v ag$ woman above-m5tion$1 :o n[ appe>$ #8we>y & heavy lad5' ) a s5se ( h] s9 & mis]y1 & h] p]i%+ ne$ ( an int]e/ 9 ,*ri/4 ,"l's day1 ,dec4 #bi4--8,prea*$ f ,john1 #c3a-e4 ,a numb] ( :ite p 7 pres5t1 z is usual ^u ! ,sabba?4 ,! disc\rse 0 accompani$ ) p[]1 & seem$ to h a sil5t1 b deep & pi]c+ influ5ce ^u ! audi5ce4 ,_m wept & sobb$ affectionately4 ,!re 7 "s te>s among ! :ite p z well z ! ,indians4 ,"s c\ld n refra9 f cry+ out2 ?\gh !re 7 n _m s ex]cis$4 ,b ! impressions made ^u _! he>ts appe>$ *iefly by ! extraord9>y e>ne/ness ( _! att5tion1 & _! heavy sighs & te>s4 8,aft] public wor%ip 0 ov] ,i w5t to my h\se1 propos+ to prea* aga9 aft] a %ort season ( int]mission4 ,b !y soon came 91 "o aft] ano!r1 ) te>s 9 _! eyes1 to "k #8:at !y %\ld d to be sav$4' ,! div9e ,_s 9 su* a mann] set home ^u _! he>ts :at ,i spake to !m t ! h\se 0 soon fill$ ) cries & groans4 ,!y all flock$ toge!r ^u ?is occasion2 & ^?1 :om ,i _h reason to ?9k 9 a ,*ri/less /ate1 7 almo/ univ]sally seiz$ ) conc]n = _! s\ls4 ,x 0 an amaz+ season ( p[] among !m2 & seem$ z if ,god _h b[$ ! heav5s & come d[n4 ,s a/oni%+ly preval5t 0 ! op]ation ^u old z well z "y1 t x seem$ z if none w\ld be left 9 a secure & natural /ate1 b t ,god 0 n[ ab\t to conv]t all ! _w4 ,i 0 ready to ?9k1 !n1 t ,i %\ld nev] aga9 despair ( ! conv]sion ( any man or woman liv+1 be !y :o or :at !y w\ld4 8,x is impossible to give a j & lively description ( ! appe>ance ( ?+s at ?is season2 at lea/ su* z to convey a bright & adequate idea ( ! effects ( ?is influ5ce4 ,a numb] might n[ be se5 rejoic+ t ,god _h n tak5 away ! p[]ful influ5ce ( 8 bless$ ,_s f ?is place2 refre%$ to see s _m /riv+ to ent] 9 at ! /rait gate2 & animat$ ) su* conc]n = !m1 t !y want$ to pu% !m =w>d1 z "s ( !m express$ x4 ,at ! same "t numb]s bo? ( m5 & wom51 old & "y1 might be se5 9 te>s2 & "s 9 angui% ( _s1 appe>+ 9 _! v c\nt5ances l condemn$ malefactors b\nd t[>d ! place ( execution1 ) a heavy solicitude sitt+ 9 _! faces2 s t !re seem$ "h1 z ,i ?\ght1 a lively emblem ( ! solemn day ( acc\nt3 a mixture ( heav5 & hell2 ( joy & angui% inexpressible4 8,! conc]n & religi\s affection 0 su*1 t ,i c\ld n pret5d to h any =mal religi\s ex]cise among !m2 b sp5t ! "t 9 disc\rs+ to "o & ano!r1 z ,i ?\ght mo/ prop] & seasonable = ea*2 & sometimes address$ !m altoge!r2 & f9ally conclud$ ) pray]4 ,su* 7 _! circum/ances at ?is season1 t ,i c\ld sc>cely h half an h\r's re/ f speak+1 f ab\t half an h\r be=e twelve o'clock1 at :i* "t ,i began public wor%ip1 till aft] sev5 at night4 ,!re appe>$ to be f\r or five p]sons newly awak5$ ?is day & ! ev5+ be=e2 "s ( :om b v lately came among u4 ,dec4 #cj4 8,0 visit$ by f\r or five "y p]sons "u conc]n = _! s\ls2 mo/ ( :om 7 v lately awak5$4 ,!y wept mu* :ile ,i disc\rs$ ) !m & endeavor$ to press ^u !m ! necessity ( fly+ to ,*ri/ )\t delay = salvation4 ,dec4 #ca4--8,sp5t "s h\rs ?is day 9 visit+ my p f h\se to h\se1 & conv]s+ ) !m ab\t _! spiritual conc]ns2 endeavor+ to press ^u ,*ri/less s\ls ! necessity ( a r5ovation ( he>t2 & sc>ce left a h\se )\t leav+ "s or o!r ( its inhabitants 9 te>s1 appe>+ solicit\sly engag$ to obta9 an int]e/ 9 ,*ri/4 8,! ,indians are n[ ga!r$ toge!r f all qu>t]s to ?is place1 & h built !m little cottages1 s t m ?an tw5ty families live )9 a qu>t] ( a mile f me4 ,a v conv5i5t situation ) reg>d bo? to public & private in/ruction4 ,jan4 #a1 #agdf4--8,sp5t consid]able "t 9 visit+ my p aga94 ,f\nd sc>cely "o b :at 0 "u "s s]i\s impressions respect+ _! spiritual conc]ns4 ,jan4 #b4--8,visit$ "s p]sons newly come among u1 :o _h sc>ce ev] he>d any ?+ ( ,*ri/ianity be=e1 except ! empty "n4 ,endeavor$ to in/ruct !m1 p>ticul>ly 9 ! fir/ pr9ciples ( religion1 9 ! mo/ easy & famili> mann] ,i c\ld4 ,!re are /rang]s f remote p>ts1 almo/ cont9ually dropp+ 9 among u1 s t ,i h occasion repeat$ly to op5 & inculcate ! fir/ pr9ciples ( ,*ri/ianity4 ,jan4 #d4--8,prosecut$ my cate*etical me?od ( in/ruct+4 ,f\nd my p able to answ] que/ions ) propriety1 beyond :at c\ld h be5 expect$ f p]sons s lately br\ght out ( hea!ni% d>kness4 ,9 ! improvem5t ( my disc\rse !re appe>$ "s conc]n & affection 9 ! assembly2 & especially 9 ^? ( :om ,i ent]ta9$ hopes z be+ truly graci\s1 at lea/ sev]al ( !m 7 mu* affect$ & refre%$4 ,"l's day1 ,jan4 #e4--8;,disc\rs$ f ,matt4 #ab3aj-ac4 ,!re appe>$ n s mu* livel9ess & affection 9 div9e s]vice z usual4 ,! same tru?s :i* h (t5 produc$ _m te>s & sobs 9 ! assembly seem$ n[ to h no special influ5ce ^u any 9 x4 ,ne> night ,i propos$ to h proce$$ 9 my usual me?od ( cate*is+2 b :ile we 7 engag$ 9 ! fir/ pray]1 ! p[] ( ,god seem$ to desc5d ^u ! assembly 9 su* a rem>kable mann]1 & s _m appe>$ "u press+ conc]n = _! s\ls1 t ,i ?\ght x mu* m exp$i5t to insi/ ^u ! pl5tiful provision made by div9e grace = ! r$emption ( p]i%+ s9n]s1 & to press !m to a spe$y acceptance ( ! great salvation1 ?an to ask !m que/ions ab\t doctr9al po9ts4 ,:at 0 mo/ practical seem$ mo/ seasonable to be insi/$ ^u1 :ile numb]s appe>$ s extraord9>ily solicit\s to obta9 an int]e/ 9 ! great ,r$eem]4 8,?is day ! woman m5tion$ 9 my j\rnal ( ,decemb] #bb1 made a public pr(ession ( h] fai?4 ,%e has discov]$ a v sweet & heav5ly frame ( m9d f "t to "t1 s9ce h] fir/ reception ( com=t4 ,"o morn+ 9 p>ticul>1 %e came to see me1 discov]+ an unusual joy & satisfaction 9 h] c\nt5ance2 & :5 ,i inquir$ into ! reason ( x1 %e repli$1 #8t ,god _h made h] feel t x 0 "r = him to d :at he pleas$ ) all ?+s2 & t x w\ld be "r if he %\ld ca/ h] husb& & son bo? into hell2 & %e saw x 0 s "r = ,god to d :at he pleas$ ) !m1 t %e c\ld n b rejoice 9 ,god ev5 if he %\ld s5d !m into hell2' ?\gh x 0 app>5t %e lov$ !m de>ly4 ,%e moreov] inquir$ :e!r ,i 0 n s5t to prea* to ! ,indians by "s good p a great way (f4 ,i repli$1 #8,yes1 by ! good p 9 ,scotl&4' ,%e answ]$1 #8t h] he>t lov$ ^? good p s ! ev5+ be=e1 t %e c\ld sc>ce help pray+ = !m all night1 h] he>t w\ld g to ,god = !m4' ,?us1 ! bless+ ( ^? ready to p]i%1 is l to come ^u ^? pi\s p]sons :o h communicat$ ( _! sub/ance to ! propagation ( ! ,gospel4 ,"l's day1 ,jan4 #ab4--8,prea*$ f ,isaiah1 #ee3f4 ,! ^w ( ,god seem$ to fall ^u ! audi5ce ) a div9e weight & influ5ce1 & evid5tly appe>$ to be #8n ! ^w ( man4' ,! bless$ ,_s1 ,i am p]suad$1 accompani$ :at 0 spok5 to ! he>ts ( _m2 s t !re 0 a p[]ful revival ( conviction 9 numb]s :o 7 "u spiritual ex]cises be=e4 8,t[>d night cate*is$ 9 my usual me?od4 ,ne> ! close ( my disc\rse !re appe>$ a great conc]n1 & mu* affection 9 ! audi5ce2 :i* increas$ :ile ,i cont9u$ to invite !m to come to an all-suffici5t ,r$eem] = et]nal salvation4 ,! ,_s ( ,god seems1 f "t to "t1 to be /riv+ ) s\ls "h4 ,!y are s frequ5tly & repeat$ly r\s$1 t !y seem unable at pres5t to lull !mselves asleep4 ,jan4 #ac4--8,0 visit$ by sev]al p]sons "u deep conc]n = _! s\ls2 "o ( :om 0 newly awak5$4 ,x is a mo/ agreeable "w to treat ) s\ls :o are solicit\sly inquir+ #8:at !y %all d to be sav$4' ,z we are nev] to be #8we>y 9 well do+1' s ! obligation seems to be peculi>ly /rong :5 ! "w is s v desirable4 ,yet ,i mu/ say1 my heal? is s mu* impair$1 & my spirits s wa/$ ) my labors & solit>y mann] ( liv+2 !re be+ no human creature 9 ! h\se ) me2 t _! repeat$ & almo/ incessant applications to me = help & direction1 are sometimes exce$+ly burd5some1 & s exhau/ my spirits t ,i become fit = no?+ at all1 entirely unable to prosecute my bus9ess1 sometimes = days toge!r4 ,:at contributes mu* t[>d ?is difficulty is1 t ,i am oblig$ to sp5d mu* "t 9 communicat+ a little matt] to !m2 !re be+ (t5times _m ?+s to be premis$ be=e ,i c speak directly to :at ,i pr9cipally aim at2 :i* ?+s w\ld readily be tak5 = grant$ :]e !re 0 a compet5cy ( doctr9al k4 ,jan4 #ad4--8,sp5t "s "t 9 private conf]5ce ) my p1 & f\nd "s dispos$ to take com=t1 z ,i ?\ght1 ^u slight gr\nds4 ,!y are n[ g5]ally awak5$1 & x is become s disgraceful1 z well z t]rify+ to ! consci5ce1 to be de/itute ( religion1 t !y are 9 imm95t dang] ( tak+ up ) an appe>ance ( grace1 r ?an to live "u ! fe> & disgrace ( an unreg5]at$ /ate4 ,jan4 #ah4--8,prosecut$ my cate*etical me?od ( disc\rs+4 ,!re appe>$ a great solemnity1 & "s consid]able affection 9 ! assembly4 ,?is me?od ( in/ruction ,i f9d v pr(itable4 ,:5 ,i fir/ ent]$ ^u x ,i 0 ex]cis$ ) fe>s1 le/ my disc\rses w\ld unavoidably be s doctr9al t !y w\ld t5d only to enlight5 ! head1 b n to affect ! he>t4 ,b ! ev5t prov$ q o!rwise2 = ^! ex]cises h hi!rto be5 rem>kably bless$ 9 ! latt]1 z well z ! =m] respects4 ,"l's day1 ,jan4 #ai4--8;,disc\rs$ to my p f ,isaiah1 #ee3g4 ,t[>d night cate*is$ 9 my ord9>y me?od2 & ?is appe>$ to be a p[]ful season ( grace among u4 ,numb]s 7 mu* affect$4 ,convictions 7 p[]fully reviv$1 & ,*ri/ians refre%$ & /r5g!n$2 & "o we>y1 heavy lad5 s\l1 ,i h abundant reason to hope1 br\ght to true re/ & solid com=t 9 ,*ri/2 :o aft]w>d gave me su* an acc\nt ( ,god's deal+ ) 8 s\l z 0 abundantly satisfy+1 z well z refre%+ to me4 8,he told me he _h (t5 he>d me say t p]sons mu/ see & feel !mselves utt]ly helpless & undone--t !y mu/ be empti$ ( a dep5d5ce ^u !mselves1 & ( all hope ( sav+ !mselves1 9 ord] to _! com+ to ,*ri/ = salvation4 ,he _h long be5 /riv+ aft] ?is view ( ?+s2 suppos+ t ?is w\ld be an excell5t frame ( m9d1 to be ?us empti$ ( a dep5d5ce ^u 8 own goodness2 t ,god w\ld h respect to ?is frame1 w\ld !n be well pleas$ ) him1 & be/[ et]nal life ^u him4 ,b :5 he came to feel himself 9 ?is helpless1 undone condition1 he f\nd x q contr>y to all 8 ?\ghts & expectations2 s t x 0 n ! same frame1 nor inde$ any ?+ l ! frame aft] :i* he _h be5 seek+4 ,in/ead ( its be+ a good frame ( m9d1 he n[ f\nd no?+ b badness 9 himself1 & saw x 0 = ev] impossible = him to make himself any bett]4 ,he wond]$1 he said1 t he _h ev] hop$ to m5d 8 own he>t4 ,he 0 amaz$ t he _h nev] be=e se5 t x 0 utt]ly impossible = him1 by all 8 contrivances & endeavors1 to d any ?+ 9 t way1 s9ce ! matt] n[ appe>$ to him 9 s cle> a light4 ,in/ead ( imag9+ n[ t ,god w\ld be pleas$ ) him = ! sake ( ?is frame ( m9d1 & ?is view ( 8 undone e/ate1 he saw cle>ly1 & felt t x w\ld be j ) ,god to s5d him to et]nal mis]y2 & t !re 0 no goodness 9 :at he !n felt2 = he c\ld n help see+ t he 0 nak$1 s9ful1 & mis]able1 & t !re 0 no?+ 9 su* a sight to des]ve ,god's love or pity4 8,he saw ^! ?+s 9 a mann] s cle> & conv9c+1 t x seem$ to him1 he said1 he c\ld conv9ce e body ( _! utt] inability to help !mselves1 & _! unwor?9ess ( any help f ,god4 ,9 ?is frame ( m9d he came to public wor%ip ?is ev5+2 & :ile ,i 0 invit+ s9n]s to come to ,*ri/ nak$ & empty1 )\t any goodness ( _! own to recomm5d !m to 8 acceptance1 !n he ?\ght ) himself t he _h (t5 tri$ to come & give up 8 he>t to ,*ri/1 & he us$ to hope t "s "t or o!r he %\ld be able to d s2 b n[ he 0 conv9c$ t he c\ld n1 & x seem$ utt]ly va9 = him ev] to try any m2 & he c\ld n1 he said1 f9d a he>t to make any fur!r attempt1 because he saw x w\ld signify no?+ at all2 nor did he n[ hope = a bett] opportunity or m ability h]eaft]1 z he _h =m]ly done1 because he saw & 0 fully conv9c$ t 8 own /r5g? w\ld = ev] fail4 ,:ile he 0 mus+ 9 ?is mann] he saw1 he said1 ) 8 he>t1 7:i* is a common phrase among !m17 some?+ t 0 unspeakably good & lovely1 & :at he _h nev] se5 be=e2 & #8?is /ole away 8 he>t :e!r he w\ld or no4' ,he did n1 he said1 "k :at x 0 he saw4 ,he did n say #8?is is ,jesus ,*ri/2' b x 0 su* glory & beauty z he nev] saw be=e4 ,he did n n[ give away 8 he>t1 z he _h =m]ly int5d$ & attempt$ to d2 b x w5t away ( itself aft] t glory he !n discov]$4 ,he us$ to make a b>ga9 ) ,*ri/ to give up 8 he>t to him t he might h et]nal life = x4 ,b n[ he ?\ght no?+ ab\t himself or :at w\ld become ( him h]eaft]2 b 0 pleas$1 & 8 m9d :olly tak5 up ) ! unspeakable excell5cy ( :at he !n beheld4 ,aft] "s "t he 0 wond]fully pleas$ ) ! way ( salvation by ,*ri/2 s t x seem$ unspeakably desirable to be sav$ altoge!r by ! m]e free grace ( ,god 9 him4 ,! consequ5ce ( ?is ex]cise is1 t he appe>s to reta9 a s5se & reli% ( div9e ?+s1 & to ma9ta9 a life ( s]i\sness & true religion4 ,jan4 #bh4--8,! ,indians 9 ^! p>ts h1 9 times pa/1 run !mselves 9 debt by _! excessive dr9k+2 & "s h tak5 ! advantage ( !m1 & put !m to tr\ble & *>ge1 by arre/+ "s ( !m2 :]eby x 0 suppos$ _! hunt+ l&s 9 great "p 7 mu* endang]$1 & might spe$ily be tak5 f !m4 ,be+ s5sible t !y c\ld n subsi/ toge!r 9 ^! p>ts1 9 ord] to _! be+ a ,*ri/ian congregation1 if ^! l&s %\ld be tak51 :i* 0 ?\ght v likely2 ,i ?\ght x my duty to use my utmo/ endeavors to prev5t s unhappy an ev5t4 ,hav+ acqua9t$ ! g5tlem5 conc]n$ 9 ?is mission ) ! affair1 accord+ to ! be/ in=mation ,i c\ld get ( x1 !y ?\ght x prop] to exp5d ! money :i* !y _h be5 & /ill 7 collect+ = ! religi\s int]e/ ( ! ,indians1 at lea/ a "p ( x1 = dis*>g+ _! debts1 & secur+ ^! l&s1 t !re might be no entanglem5t ly+ ^u !m to h9d] ! settlem5t & hopeful enl>gem5t ( a ,*ri/ian congregation ( ,indians 9 ^! p>ts4 ,hav+ receiv$ ord]s f !m1 ,i answ]$ 9 behalf ( ! ,indians1 eighty-two p\nds1 five %ill+s1 ,new-,j]sey curr5cy1 at eight %ill+s p] ounce2 & s prev5t$ ! dang] or difficulty 9 ?is respect4 8,z ,god has wr\ght a wond]ful "w ( grace among ^! ,indians1 & n[ incl9es o!rs f remote places to fall 9 among !m almo/ cont9ually2 & z he has op5$ a door = ! prev5tion ( ! difficulty n[ m5tion$1 :i* seem$ greatly to ?reat5 _! religi\s int]e/s z well z worldly com=ts2 x is to be hop$ t he designs to e/abli% a *ur* = himself among !m1 & h& d[n true religion to _! po/]ity4 ,jan4 #cj4--8,prea*$ to ! ,indians f ,john1 #c3af1 #ag4 ,!re 0 a solemn att5tion & "s affection visible 9 ! audi5ce2 especially sev]al p]sons :o _h long be5 conc]n$ = _! s\ls1 seem$ afre% excit$ & engag$ 9 seek+ aft] an int]e/ 9 ,*ri/4 ,"o1 ) mu* conc]n1 aft]w>d told me #88 he>t 0 s prick$ ) my prea*+ he knew n :]e to turn or :at to d4' ,jan4 #ca4--8,?is day ! p]son :om ,i _h made *oice ( & engag$ = a s*ool ma/] among ! ,indians arriv$ among u1 & 0 he>tily welcom$ by my p univ]sally4 ,:]eupon ,i di/ribut$ sev]al doz5 ( prim]s among ! *ildr5 & "y p4 #a--8,my s*oolma/] ent]$ ^u 8 bus9ess among ! ,indians4 ,he has g5]ally ab\t ?irty *ildr5 & "y p]sons 9 8 s*ool 9 ! day "t1 & ab\t fifte5 m>ri$ p 9 ! ev5+ s*ool4 ,! numb] ( m>ri$ p]sons be+ less ?an x w\ld be if !y c\ld be m con/antly at home1 & c\ld sp>e "t f _! necess>y employm5ts = an att5dance ^u ^! in/ructions4 8,9 ! ev5+ cate*is$ 9 my usual me?od4 ,t[>d ! close ( my disc\rse a surpris+ p[] seem$ to att5d ! ^w1 especially to "s p]sons4 ,"o man consid]ably 9 ye>s1 :o _h be5 a rem>kable drunk>d1 a conjur] & murd]]1 & 0 awak5$ "s mon?s be=e1 0 n[ br\ght to great extremity "u 8 spiritual di/ress2 s t he trembl$ = h\rs toge!r1 & appreh5d$ himself j dropp+ into hell1 )\t any p[] to rescue or relieve himself4 ,div]s o!rs appe>$ "u great conc]n1 z well z he1 & solicit\s to obta9 a sav+ *ange4 ,"l's day1 ,feb4 #b4--8,prea*$ f ,john1 #e3bd1 #be4 ,!re appe>$1 z usual1 "s conc]n & affection 9 ! assembly4 ,t[>d night proce$$ 9 my usual me?od ( cate*is+4 ,obs]v$ my p m ready 9 answ]+ ! que/ions propos$ to !m ?an ev] be=e4 ,x is app>5t !y advance daily 9 doctr9al k4 ,b :at is /ill m desirable1 ! ,_s ( ,god is yet op]at+ among !m2 :]eby exp]im5tal z well z speculative k is propagat$ 9 _! m9ds4 ,feb4 #e4--8;,disc\rs$ to a consid]able numb] ( ,indians 9 ! ev5+2 at :i* "t numb]s ( !m appe>$ mu* affect$ & melt$ ) div9e ?+s4 ,feb4 #h4--8,sp5t a consid]able "p ( ! day 9 visit+ my p f h\se to h\se1 & conv]s+ ) !m ab\t _! s\ls conc]ns4 ,_m p]sons wept1 :ile ,i disc\rs$ to !m1 & appe>$ conc]n$ = no?+ s mu* z = an int]e/ 9 ! great ,r$eem]4 ,9 ! ev5+ cate*is$ z usual4 ,div9e tru? made "s impressions ^u ! audi5ce2 & 7 att5d$ ) an affectionate engagem5t ( s\l 9 "s4 ,"l's day1 ,feb4 #i4--8;,disc\rs$ to my p f ! /ory ( ! bl9d man4 ,matt4 #aj3df-eb4 ,! ^w ( ,god seem$ weighty1 & p[]ful ^u ! assembly at ?is "t1 & made consid]able impressions ^u _m2 sev]al 9 p>ticul>1 :o h g5]ally be5 rem>kably /upid & c>eless "u ! means ( grace1 7 n[ awak5$1 & wept affectionately4 ,! mo/ e>ne/ att5tion1 z well z t5d]ness & affection1 appe>$ 9 ! audi5ce univ]sally4 ,two p]sons publicly pr(ess$ ,*ri/4 8,t[>d night cate*is$4 ,god made ?is a p[]ful season to "s4 ,!re 7 _m affect$4 ,=m] convictions appe>$ to be p[]fully reviv$4 ,!re 0 likewise "o1 :o _h be5 a vile drunk>d1 rem>kably awak5$4 ,he appe>$ to be 9 great angui% ( s\l1 wept1 & trembl$1 & cont9u$ to d s till ne> midnight4 ,!re 0 also a poor heavy lad5 s\l1 :o _h be5 long "u heavy di/ress1 z con/ant & press+ z ,i ev] saw1 :o 0 n[ br\ght to a com=table calm1 & seem$ to be b[$ & reconcil$ to ! div9e sov]eignty1 & told me %e n[ felt & saw t x 0 "r = ,god to d ) h] z he pleas$2 & t h] he>t felt pleas$ & satisfi$ x %\ld be s2 al?\gh ( late %e _h (t5 f\nd h] he>t rise & qu>rel ) ,god because he w\ld1 if he pleas$1 s5d h] to hell aft] all %e _h done4 ,%e add$ t ! heavy burd5 %e _h la9 "u 0 n[ remov$2 t %e _h tri$ to recov] h] conc]n & di/ress aga91 fe>+ t ! ,_s ( ,god 0 dep>t+ f h]1 & w\ld leave h] :olly c>eless1 b t %e c\ld n recov] x2 t %e felt %e nev] c\ld d any ?+ to save h]self1 b mu/ p]i% = ev] if ,*ri/ did n d all = h]2 t %e did n des]ve he %\ld help h]2 & t x w\ld be "r if he %\ld leave h] to p]i%4 ,b ,*ri/ c\ld save h] ?\gh %e c\ld d no?+ to save h]self1 c4 & "h %e seem$ to re/40 ,=ks ( ,delaw>e1 ,febru>y1 #agdf4 ,"l's day1 ,feb4 #af4--8,kn[+ t numb]s ( ! ,indians 9 ^! p>ts 7 ob/9ately set aga9/ ,*ri/ianity2 & t "s ( !m _h refus$ to he> me prea* 9 times pa/2 ,i ?\ght x might be prop] & b5eficial to ! ,*ri/ian int]e/ "h to h a numb] ( my religi\s p f ,crossweeksung ) me1 to conv]se ) !m ab\t religi\s matt]s2 hop+ x might be a means to conv9ce !m ( ! tru? & importance ( ,*ri/ianity1 to see & he> "s ( _! own nation disc\rs+ ( div9e ?+s1 & manife/+ e>ne/ desires t o!rs might be br\ght out ( hea!ni% d>kness1 z !mselves 74 ,= ?is purpose ,i select$ half a doz5 ( ! mo/ s]i\s & intellig5t ( ^? ,indians1 & hav+ br\ght !m to ! ,=ks ( ,delaw>e1 ,i ?is day met ) !m & ! ,indians ( ?is place4 ,numb]s ( ! latt] probably c\ld n h be5 prevail$ ^u to att5d ?is meet+1 _h x n be5 = ^! religi\s ,indians :o accompani$ me hi!r1 & prea*$ to !m4 ,"s ( ^? :o _h 9 times pa/ be5 extremely av]se to ,*ri/ianity1 n[ behav$ sob]ly2 & "s o!rs laugh$ & mock$4 ,h[ev]1 ! ^w ( ,god fell ) su* weight & p[]1 t numb]s seem$ to be /unn$1 & express$ a will+ness to he> me aga9 ( ^! matt]s4 8,aft]w>d pray$ )1 & made an address to ! :ite p pres5t2 & c\ld n b obs]ve "s visible effects ( ! ^w1 su* z te>s & sobs among !m4 ,aft] public wor%ip1 sp5t "s "t1 & took pa9s to conv9ce ^? t mock$ ( ! tru? & importance ( :at ,i _h be5 insi/+ ^u2 & s endeavor$ to awak5 _! att5tion to div9e tru?4 ,_h reason to ?9k1 f :at ,i obs]v$ !n & aft]w>d1 t my endeavors took consid]able effect ^u "o ( ! wor/ ( !m4 8,^? few ,indians !n pres5t1 :o us$ to be my he>]s 9 ^! p>ts1 "s hav+ remov$ h5ce to ,crossweeksung1 seem$ some:at k9dly dispos$ t[>d me1 & glad to see me aga94 ,!y _h be5 s mu* attack$1 h[ev]1 by "s ( ! oppos+ ,pagans1 t !y 7 almo/ a%am$ or afraid to manife/ _! fri5d%ip4 ,feb4 #ag4--8;,aft] hav+ sp5t mu* "t 9 disc\rs+ to ! ,indians 9 _! respective h\ses1 ,i got !m toge!r & repeat$ & inculcat$ :at ,i _h be=e taught !m4 ,aft]w>d disc\rs$ to !m f ,acts1 #h3e-h4 ,a div9e influ5ce seem$ to att5d ! ^w4 ,sev]al ( ! ,indians "h appe>$ to be some:at awak5$1 & manife/$ e>ne/ te>s & sobs4 ,my p ( ,crossweeksung cont9u$ ) !m day & night repeat+ & inculcat+ ! tru?s ,i _h taught !m2 & sometimes pray$ & sung psalms among !m2 disc\rs+ ) ea* o!r 9 _! he>+1 ( ! great ?+s ,god _h done = !m & = ! ,indians f :5ce !y came4 ,?is seem$1 z my p told me1 to h m effect ^u !m ?an :5 !y direct$ _! disc\rse imm$iately to !m4 ,feb4 #ah4--8,prea*$ to an assembly ( ,iri% p1 ne>ly fifte5 miles di/ant f ! ,indians4 ,feb4 #ai4--8,prea*$ to ! ,indians aga91 aft] hav+ sp5t consid]able "t 9 conv]s+ ) !m m privately4 ,!re appe>$ a great solemnity1 & "s conc]n & affection among ! ,indians belong+ to ^! p>ts1 z well z a sweet melt+ among ^? :o came ) me4 ,numb]s ( ! ,indians "h seem$ to h _! prejudices & av]sion to ,*ri/ianity remov$2 & appe>$ well dispos$1 & incl9$ to he> ! ^w ( ,god4 ,feb4 #bj4--8,prea*$ to a small assembly ( ,high ,dut* p1 :o _h seldom he>d ! ,gospel prea*$1 & 7 "s ( !m1 at lea/1 v ignorant2 b numb]s ( !m h lately be5 put ^u an inquiry aft] ! way ( ,salvation ) ?\ghtfulness4 ,!y gave wond]ful att5tion2 & "s ( !m 7 mu* affect$ "u ! ^w1 & aft]w>d said1 z ,i 0 in=m$1 t !y nev] _h be5 s mu* enlight5$ ab\t ! way ( ,salvation 9 _! :ole lives be=e4 ,!y reque/$ me to t>ry ) !m1 or come aga9 & prea* to !m4 ,x griev$ me t ,i c\ld n comply ) _! reque/4 ,i c\ld n b be affect$ ) _! circum/ances2 = !y 7 z #8%eep n hav+ a %eph]d1' & "s ( !m appe>$ "u "s degree ( di/ress = s92 /&+ 9 peculi> ne$ ( ! assi/ance ( an exp]i5c$ spiritual guide4 ,feb4 #ba4--8,prea*$ to a numb] ( p1 _m ( !m ,l[ ,dut*4 ,sev]al ( ! =e-m5tion$ ,high ,dut* p att5d$ ! s]mon1 ?\gh eight or t5 miles di/ant f _! h\ses4 ,numb]s ( ! ,indians also belong+ to ^! p>ts came ( _! own accord ) my p f ,crossweeksung1 to ! meet+4 ,!re 7 two 9 p>ticul> :o1 ?\gh ! la/ ,sabba? !y oppos$ & ridicul$ ,*ri/ianity1 n[ behav$ sob]ly4 ,may ! pres5t enc\rag+ appe>ances cont9ue6 ,feb4 #bb4--8,prea*$ to ! ,indians4 ,!y appe>$ m free f prejudice & m cordial to ,*ri/ianity ?an be=e2 & "s ( !m appe>$ affect$ ) div9e tru?4 ,"l's day1 ,feb4 #bc4--8,prea*$ to ! ,indians f ,john1 #f3ce-cg4 ,aft] public s]vice disc\rs$ p>ticul>ly ) sev]al ( !m1 & invit$ !m to g d[n to ,crossweeksung & t>ry !re at lea/ = "s "t2 kn[+ t !y w\ld !n be free f ! sc(fs & temptations ( ! oppos+ ,pagans1 z well z 9 ! way ( he>+ div9e tru?s disc\rs$ (1 bo? 9 public & private4 ,obta9$ a promise ( "s ( !m t !y w\ld spe$ily pay u a visit1 & att5d "s f>!r in/ructions4 ,!y seem$ to be consid]ably enlight5$1 & mu* fre$ f _! prejudices aga9/ ,*ri/ianity4 ,b x is mu* to be fe>$ t _! prejudices w revive aga91 unless !y c enjoy ! means ( in/ruction "h1 or be remov$ :]e !y may be "u su* advantages1 & out ( ! way ( _! ,pagan acqua9tances4 ,crossweeksung1 ,m>*1 #agdf4 ,m>* #a4--8;,cate*is$ 9 my ord9>y me?od4 ,0 pleas$ & refre%$ to see !m answ] ! que/ions propos$ to !m ) su* rem>kable read9ess1 discretion1 & k4 ,t[>d ! close ( my disc\rse div9e tru? made consid]able impression ^u ! audi5ce1 & produc$ te>s & sobs 9 "s "u conc]n2 & m especially a sweet & humble melt+ 9 sev]al1 :o1 ,i h reason to hope1 7 truly graci\s4 ,"l's day1 ,m>* #b4--8,prea*$ f ,john1 #ae3af4 ,! assembly appe>$ n s lively 9 _! att5tion z usual1 nor s mu* affect$ ) div9e tru? 9 g5]al z has be5 common4 ,"s ( my p :o w5t up to ! ,=ks ( ! ,delaw>e ) me1 be+ n[ return$1 7 accompani$ by two ( ! ,indians belong+ to ! ,=ks :o _h promis$ me a spe$y visit4 ,may ! ,"l meet ) !m "h4 ,!y c sc>cely g into a h\se n[ b !y w meet ) ,*ri/ian conv]sation1 :]eby x is to be hop$ !y may be bo? in/ruct$ & awak5$4 8,disc\rs$ to ! ,indians aga9 9 ! aft]noon1 & obs]v$ among !m "s animation & engag$ness 9 div9e s]vice1 ?\gh n equal to :at has (t5 appe>$ "h4 ,i "k ( no assembly ( ,*ri/ians :]e !re seems to be s mu* ( ! pres5ce ( ,god1 :]e bro!rly love s mu* prevails1 & :]e ,i %\ld take s mu* delight 9 ! public wor%ip ( ,god 9 g5]al1 z 9 my own congregation2 al?\gh n m ?an n9e mon?s ago1 !y 7 wor%ipp+ devils & dumb idols "u ! p[] ( ,pagan d>kness & sup]/ition4 ,amaz+ *ange ?is6 effect$ by no?+ less ?an div9e p[] & grace4 ,?is is ! do+ ( ! ,"l1 & x is ju/ly m>vell\s 9 our eyes4 ,m>* #e4--8,sp5t "s "t j at ev5+ 9 pray]1 s++ & disc\rs+ to my p ^u div9e ?+s2 & obs]v$ "s agreeable t5d]ness & affection among !m4 ,_! pres5t situation is s compact & commodi\s1 t !y are easily & quickly call$ toge!r ) only ! s\nd ( a con*-%ell1 7a %ell l t ( a p]iw9kle17 s t !y h frequ5t opportunities ( att5d+ religi\s ex]cises publicly4 ,?is seems to be a great means1 "u ,god1 ( keep+ alive ! impression ( div9e ?+s 9 _! m9ds4 ,m>* #h4--8;,cate*is$ 9 ! ev5+4 ,my p answ]$ ! que/ions propos$ to !m well4 ,i c p]ceive _! k 9 religion increases daily4 ,&1 :at is /ill m desirable1 ! div9e influ5ce1 :i* has be5 s rem>kable among !m1 appe>s /ill to cont9ue1 9 "s good measure4 ,! div9e pres5ce seem$ to be 9 ! assembly ?is ev5+4 8,"s1 :o ,i h good reason to ?9k are ,*ri/ians inde$1 7 melt$ ) a s5se ( div9e goodness & _! own b>r5ness & +ratitude1 & seem$ to hate !mselves1 z "o ( !m aft]w>d express$ x4 ,convictions also appe>$ to be reviv$ 9 sev]al in/ances2 & div9e tru? 0 att5d$ ) su* influ5ce ^u ! assembly 9 g5]al1 t x might ju/ly be call$ an ev5+ ( div9e p[]4 ,lords' day1 ,m>* #i4--8,prea*$ f ,luke1 #aj3ch-db4 ,! ^w ( ,god 0 att5d$ ) p[] & en]gy ^u ! audi5ce4 ,numb]s 7 affect$1 & conc]n$ to obta9 ! "o ?+ ne$ful4 ,sev]al1 :o h giv5 good evid5ce ( be+ truly graci\s1 7 mu* affect$ ) a s5se ( _! want ( spirituality1 & saw ! ne$ !y /ood 9 ( gr[+ 9 grace4 ,! great] "p ( ^? :o _h be5 "u any impressions ( div9e ?+s 9 times pa/1 seem$ n[ to h ^? impressions reviv$4 8,9 ! aft]noon propos$ to h cate*is$ 9 my usual me?od3 b1 :ile we 7 engag$ 9 ! fir/ pray] 9 ! ,indian language1 z usual1 a great "p ( ! assembly 0 s mu* mov$ & affect$ ) div9e ?+s t ,i ?\ght x seasonable & prop] to omit ! propos+ ( que/ions = t "t1 & to insi/ ^u ! mo/ practical tru?s4 ,i accord+ly did s2 mak+ a fur!r improvem5t ( ! passage ( ,scripture on :i* ,i _h disc\rs$ 9 ! =m] "p ( ! day4 ,!re appe>$ to be a p[]ful div9e influ5ce 9 ! congregation4 ,sev]al :o1 z ,i h reason to ?9k1 are truly pi\s1 7 s deeply affect$ ) a s5se ( _! own b>r5ness1 & _! unwor?y treatm5t ( ! bless$ ,r$eem]1 t !y look$ on him z pi]c$ by !mselves1 & m\rn$1 yea1 "s ( !m 7 9 bitt]ness1 z = a fir/-born4 8,"s poor awak5$ s9n]s1 also1 appe>$ to be 9 angui% ( s\l to obta9 an int]e/ 9 ,*ri/2 s t !re 0 a great m\rn+ 9 ! assembly3 _m heavy groans1 sobs1 & te>s6 & "o or two1 newly come among u1 7 consid]ably awak5$4 8,me?9ks x w\ld h refre%$ ! he>t ( any1 :o truly love ,zion's int]e/s1 to h be5 9 ! mid/ ( ?is div9e influ5ce1 & se5 ! effects ( x ^u sa9ts & s9n]s4 ,! place ( div9e wor%ip appe>$ bo? solemn & sweet2 & 0 s ende>$ by a display ( ! div9e pres5ce & grace t ^? :o _h any reli% = div9e ?+s c\ld n b cry1 #8,h[ amiable are ?y tab]nacles1 ,o ,"l ( ,ho/s6' ,aft] public wor%ip 0 ov]1 numb]s came to my h\se1 :]e we sang & disc\rs$ ( div9e ?+s2 & ! pres5ce ( ,god seem$ "h also to be 9 ! mid/ ( u4 8,:ile we 7 s++ !re 0 "o individual1 ! woman m5tion$ 9 my j\rnal ( ,febru>y #i :o1 ,i may v5ture to say1 if ,i may be all[$ to say s mu* ( any p]son ,i ev] saw1 0 #8fill$ ) joy unspeakable & full ( glory2' & c\ld n b bur/ =? 9 pray] & praises to ,god be=e u all1 ) _m te>s2 cry+1 sometimes 9 ,engli% & sometimes 9 ,indian1 #8,o bless$ ,"l6 d come1 d come6 ,o d take me away2 d let me die1 & g to ,jesus ,*ri/6 ,i am afraid if ,i live ,i %all s9 aga94 ,o d let me die n[6 ,o de> ,jesus1 d come6 ,i _c /ay1 ,i _c /ay6 ,o h[ c ,i live 9 ?is _w2 d take my s\l away f ?is s9ful place6 ,o let me nev] s9 any m6 ,o :at %all ,i d1 :at %all ,i d1 de> ,jesus4 ,o de> ,jesus6' ,9 ?is ec/acy %e cont9u$ "s "t1 utt]+ ^! & simil> expressions incessantly4 ,! gr& argum5t %e us$ ) ,god to take h] away imm$iately 01 t #8if %e liv$1 %e %\ld s9 aga9/ him4' ,:5 %e _h a little recov]$ h]self1 ,i ask$ h] if ,*ri/ 0 n[ sweet to h] s\l8 ,:]eupon1 turn+ to me ) te>s 9 h] eyes1 & ) all ! tok5s ( deep humility ,i ev] saw 9 any p]son1 %e said1 #8,i h _m times he>d y speak ( ! goodness & ! sweetness ( ,*ri/1 t he 0 bett] ?an all ! _w4 ,b ,o ,i knew no?+ :at y meant4 ,i nev] believ$ y1 ,i nev] believ$ y6 ,b n[ ,i "k x is true2' or words to t effect4 ,i answ]$1 #8,& d y see en\gh 9 ,*ri/ = ! greate/ ( s9n]s8' ,%e repli$1 #8,o en\gh1 en\gh = all ! s9n]s 9 ! _w1 if !y w\ld b come4' ,:5 ,i ask$ h]1 #8,if %e c\ld n tell !m ( ! goodness ( ,*ri/4' ,turn+ h]self ab\t to "s ,*ri/less s\ls1 :o /ood by1 & 7 mu* affect$1 %e said1 #8,o !re is en\gh 9 ,*ri/ = y if y w\ld b come4 ,o /rive1 /rive to give up y\r he>ts to him1' c4 ,on he>+ some?+ ( ! glory ( heav5 m5tion$1 t !re 0 no s9 9 t _w2 %e aga9 fell into ! same ec/acy ( joy & desire ( ,*ri/'s com+2 repeat+ h] =m] expressions1 #8,o de> ,"l1 d let me g6 ,o :at %all ,i d2 :at %all ,i d4 ,i want to g to ,*ri/4 ,i _c live4 ,o d let me die1' c4 8,%e cont9u$ 9 ?is sweet frame = m ?an two h\rs be=e %e 0 able to get home4 ,i am v s5sible t !re may be great joys1 aris+ ev5 to an ec/asy1 :]e !re is /ill no sub/antial evid5ce ( _! be+ well gr\nd$4 ,b 9 ! pres5t case !re seem$ to be no evid5ce want+ 9 ord] to prove ?is joy to be div9e2 ei!r 9 reg>d to its prep>atives1 att5dants1 or consequ5ts4 8,( all ! p]sons :om ,i h se5 "u spiritual ex]cise ,i sc>cely ev] saw "o appe> m b[$ & brok5 "u convictions ( s9 & mis]y1 or :at is usually call$ a prep>atory "w1 ?an ?is woman2 nor sc>cely any :o seem$ to h a great] acqua9tance ) _! own he>t ?an %e _h4 ,%e w\ld frequ5tly compla9 to me ( ! h>dness & rebellion ( h] he>t4 ,w\ld tell me t h] he>t rose & qu>rell$ ) ,god1 :5 %e ?\ght he w\ld d ) h] z he pleas$1 & s5d h] to hell1 not)/&+ h] pray]s1 good frames1 c41 & t h] he>t 0 n will+ to come to ,*ri/ = ,salvation1 b tri$ e :]e else = help4 ,z %e seem$ to be rem>kably s5sible ( h] /ubbornness & contr>iety to ,god1 "u conviction1 s %e appe>$ to be no less rem>kably b[$ & reconcil$ to 8 sov]eignty1 be=e %e obta9$ any relief or com=t2 some?+ ( :i* ,i h notic$ 9 my j\rnal ( ,feb4 #i4 ,s9ce t "t %e has seem$ con/antly to brea! ! temp] & _s ( ! new creature2 cry+ aft] ,*ri/1 n ?r\gh fe> ( hell z be=e1 b ) /rong desires aft] him z h] only satisfy+ portion2 & has _m times wept & sobb$ bitt]ly because1 z %e appreh5d$1 %e did n & c\ld n love him4 ,:5 ,i h sometimes ask$ h] :y %e appe>$ s sorr[ful1 & :e!r x 0 because %e 0 afraid ( hell2 %e w\ld answ] #8,no1 ,i be n di/ress$ ab\t t2 b my he>t is s wick$ ,i _c love ,*ri/2' & !reupon bur/ into te>s4 ,b al?\gh ?is has be5 ! habitual frame ( h] m9d = sev]al weeks toge!r1 s t ! ex]cise ( grace appe>$ evid5t to o!rs2 yet %e seem$ :olly ins5sible to x h]self1 & nev] _h any rem>kable com=t & s5sible satisfaction until ?is ev5+4 8,?is sweet & surpris+ ec/asy appe>$ to spr+ f a true spiritual discov]y ( ! glory1 ravi%+ beauty1 & excell5cy ( ,*ri/2 & n f any gross imag9>y notions ( 8 human nature1 su* z t ( see+ him 9 su* a place1 or po/ure1 z hang+ on ! cross1 z ble$+ & dy+1 z g5tly smil+1 & ! l2 :i* delusions "s h be5 c>ri$ away )4 ,nor did x rise f sordid selfi% appreh5sions ( h] hav+ any b5efit :atsoev] conf]r$ on h]2 b f a view ( 8 p]sonal excell5cy & transc5dant lovel9ess2 :i* drew =? ^? vehem5t desires ( enjoy+ him :i* %e n[ manife/$1 & made h] long #8to be abs5t f ! body1 t %e might be pres5t ) ! ,"l4' 8,! att5dants ( ?is ravi%+ com=t 7 su* z abundantly discov]$ its spr+ to be div9e2 & t x 0 truly #8a joy 9 ! ,holy ,gho/4' ,n[ %e view$ div9e tru?s z liv+ realities1 & c\ld say1 #8,i "k ^! ?+s are s2 ,i feel t !y are true6' ,n[ h] s\l 0 resign$ to ! div9e w 9 ! mo/ t5d] po9t2 s t :5 ,i said to h]1 #8,:at if ,god %\ld take away y\r husb& f y1 :o 0 !n v sick1 h[ d y ?9k y c\ld be> t8' ,%e repli$1 #8,he belongs to ,god1 & n to me2 he may d ) him j z he pleases4' ,n[ %e _h ! mo/ t5d] s5se ( ! evil ( s91 & discov]$ ! utmo/ av]sion to x1 long+ to die1 t %e might be deliv]$ f x4 ,n[ %e c\ld freely tru/ h] all ) ,god = "t & et]nity4 ,:5 ,i que/ion$ h]1 #8,h[ %e w\ld be will+ to die & leave h] little infant2 & :at %e ?\ght w\ld become ( x 9 t case8' %e answ]$1 #8,god w take c>e ( x4 ,x belongs to him4 ,he w take c>e ( x4' ,n[ %e appe>$ to h ! mo/ humbl+ s5se ( h] own meanness & unwor?9ess1 h] weakness & inability to pres]ve h]self f s91 & to p]sev]e 9 ! way ( hol9ess1 cry+1 #8,if ,i live ,i %all s94' ,i !n ?\ght t ,i _h nev] se5 su* an appe>ance ( ec/acy & humility meet+ 9 any "o p]son 9 all my life be=e4 8,! consequ5ts ( ?is joy are no less desirable & satisfactory ?an its att5dants4 ,%e s9ce appe>s to be a mo/ t5d]1 brok5-he>t$1 affectionate1 dev\t1 & humble ,*ri/ian2 z exempl>y 9 life & conv]sation z any p]son 9 my congregation4 ,may %e /ill #8gr[ 9 grace & 9 ! k ( ,*ri/4' ,m>* #aj4 8,t[>d night ! ,indians met toge!r1 ( _! own accord1 & sang1 pray$1 & disc\rs$ ( div9e ?+s among !mselves2 at :i* "t !re 0 mu* affection among !m4 ,"s1 :o are hopefully pi\s1 appe>$ to be melt$ ) div9e ?+s2 & "s o!rs seem$ mu* conc]n$ = _! s\ls4 ,p]ceiv+ _! engagem5t & affection 9 religi\s ex]cises1 ,i w5t among !m1 & pray$1 & gave a ^w ( exhortation2 & obs]v$ two or ?ree some:at affect$ & conc]n$1 :o sc>ce ev] appe>$ to be "u any religi\s impressions be=e4 ,x seem$ to be a day & ev5+ ( div9e p[]4 ,numb]s reta9$ ! w>m impressions ( div9e ?+s :i* _h be5 made ^u _! m9ds ! day be=e4 ,m>* #ad4--8,0 visit$ by a consid]able numb] ( my p1 & sp5t "s "t 9 religi\s ex]cises ) !m4 ,m>* #ae4 8,9 ! ev5+ cate*is$4 ,my p answ]$ ! que/ions put to !m ) surpris+ read9ess & judgm5t4 ,!re appe>$ "s w>m?1 & a feel+ s5se ( div9e ?+s among ^? :o ,i h reason to hope are real ,*ri/ians1 :ile ,i 0 disc\rs+ ^u peace ( consci5ce & joy 9 ! ,holy ,gho/4 ,^! seem$ quick5$ & enliv5$ 9 div9e s]vice1 ?\gh !re 0 n s mu* appe>ance ( conc]n among ^? :om ,i h reason to ?9k 9 a ,*ri/less /ate4 ,"l's day1 ,m>* #af4--8,prea*$ to my congregation f ,hebrews1 #b3a-c4 ,div9e tru? seem$ to h "s consid]able influ5ce ^u "s ( ! he>]s1 & produc$ _m te>s1 z well z heavy sighs & sobs1 among ^? :o h giv5 evid5ce ( be+ real ,*ri/ians1 & o!rs also4 ,! impressions made ^u ! audi5ce appe>$ 9 g5]al deep & he>t-affect+2 n sup]ficial1 noisy & affect$4 8,t[>d night disc\rs$ aga9 on ! ,great ,salvation4 ,! ^w 0 aga9 att5d$ ) "s p[] ^u ! audi5ce4 ,numb]s wept affectionately1 & to appe>ance unfeign$ly2 s t ! ,_s ( ,god seem$ to be mov+ ^u ! face ( ! assembly4 ,! woman m5tion$ 9 my j\rnal ( la/ ,"l's day made a pr(ession ( h] fai?1 & appe>$ to be 9 a dev\t1 humble1 & excell5t frame ( m9d4 8,my h\se be+ ?rong$ ) my p 9 ! ev5+2 ,i sp5t ! "t 9 religi\s ex]cises ) !m until my nature 0 almo/ sp5t4 ,!y are s unwe>i$ 9 religi\s ex]cises1 & insatiable 9 _! ?ir/+ aft] ,*ri/ian k1 t ,i c sometimes sc>cely avoid labor+ s z greatly to exhau/ my /r5g? & spirits4 ,m>* #ai4--8,sev]al ( ! p]sons :o w5t ) me to ! ,=ks ( ,delaw>e 9 ,febru>y la/1 hav+ be5 deta9$ !re by ! dang]\s illness ( "o ( _! company1 return$ home b ?is day4 ,:]eupon my p g5]ally met toge!r ( _! own accord1 9 ord] to sp5d "s "t 9 religi\s ex]cises2 & especially to give ?anks to ,god = 8 pres]v+ goodness to ^? :o _h be5 abs5t f !m = sev]al weeks1 & recov]+ m]cy to him :o _h be5 sick2 & t he _h n[ return$ !m all 9 safety4 ,z ,i 0 !n abs5t2 !y desir$ my s*ool-ma/] to assi/ !m 9 c>ry+ on _! religi\s solemnity2 :o tells me t !y appe>$ engag$ & affectionate 9 repeat$ pray]1 s++1 c4 ,m>* #bb4--8;,cate*is$ 9 my usual me?od 9 ! ev5+4 ,my p answ]$ que/ions to my great satisfaction4 ,!re appe>$ no?+ v rem>kable 9 ! assembly1 consid]+ :at has be5 common among u4 ,al?\gh ,i may ju/ly say ! /rict att5tion1 ! t5d]ness & affection1 ! _m te>s & he>t-affect+ sobs1 appe>+ 9 numb]s 9 ! assembly1 w\ld h be5 v rem>kable1 7 x n t ,god has made ^! ?+s common among u1 & ev5 ) /rang]s soon aft] _! com+ among u1 f "t to "t4 ,i am f> f ?9k+ t e appe>ance & p>ticul> in/ance ( affection t has be5 among u1 has be5 truly g5u9e1 & purely f a div9e influ5ce4 ,i am s5sible ( ! contr>y2 & d\bt n b !re has be5 "s corrupt mixture1 "s *aff z well z :eat2 especially s9ce religi\s conc]n has become s common & preval5t "h4 ,"l's day1 ,m>* #bc4--8,!re be+ ab\t fifte5 /rang]s1 adult p]sons1 come among u 9 ! week pa/1 sev]al ( :om _h nev] be5 9 any religi\s meet+ till n[2 ,i ?\ght x prop] to disc\rse ?is day 9 a mann] peculi>ly suit$ to _! circum/ances & capacities2 & accord+ly attempt$ x f ,hosea1 #ac3i4 #8,o ,israel1 ?\ ha/ de/roy$ ?yself4' ,9 ! =5oon ,i op5$1 9 ! pla9e/ mann] ,i c\ld1 man's apo/acy & ru9$ /ate1 aft] hav+ spok5 "s ?+s respect+ ! be+ & p]fections ( ,god1 & 8 creation ( man 9 a /ate ( uprightness & happ9ess4 ,9 ! aft]noon endeavor$ to op5 ! glori\s provision ,god has made = ! r$emption ( apo/ate creatures1 by giv+ 8 own de> ,son to suff] = !m & satisfy div9e ju/ice on _! behalf4 ,!re 0 n t affection & conc]n 9 ! assembly :i* has be5 common among u2 al?\gh !re 0 a desirable att5tion appe>+ 9 g5]al1 & ev5 9 mo/ ( ! /rang]s4 8,ne> sun-set ,i felt an uncommon conc]n ^u my m9d1 especially = ! poor /rang]s2 t ,god _h s mu* )held 8 pres5ce & ! p[]ful influ5ce ( 8 ,_s f ! assembly 9 ! ex]cises ( ! day2 & !reby )held f !m t degree ( conviction :i* ,i hop$ !y might h _h4 ,9 ?is frame ,i visit$ sev]al h\ses1 & disc\rs$ ) "s conc]n & affection to sev]al p]sons p>ticul>ly2 b )\t mu* appe>ance ( success till ,i came to a h\se :]e sev]al ( ! /rang]s 74 ,!re ! solemn tru?s on :i* ,i disc\rs$ appe>$ to take effect2 fir/ ^u "s *ildr52 !n ^u sev]al adult p]sons :o _h be5 some:at awak5$ be=e2 & aft]w>d ^u sev]al ( ! ,pagan /rang]s4 8,i cont9u$ my disc\rse1 ) "s f]v5cy1 until almo/ e "o 9 ! h\se 0 melt$ into te>s1 & _m wept al\d1 & appe>$ e>ne/ly conc]n$ to obta9 an int]e/ 9 ,*ri/4 ,^u ?is1 numb]s soon ga!r$ f all ! h\ses r\nd ab\t2 & s ?rong$ ! place t we 7 oblig$ to remove to ! h\se :]e we usually met = public wor%ip4 ,! congregation ga!r$ imm$iately1 & _m appe>+ rem>kably affect$1 ,i disc\rs$ "s "t f ,luke1 #ai3aj2 endeavor+ to op5 ! m]cy1 compassion1 & conc]n ( ,*ri/ = lo/1 helpless1 & undone s9n]s4 ,!re 0 mu* visible conc]n & affection 9 ! assembly2 & ,i d\bt n b t a div9e influ5ce accompani$ :at 0 spok5 to ! he>ts ( _m4 ,!re 7 five or six ( ! /rang]s1 m5 & wom51 :o appe>$ to be consid]ably awak5$2 &1 9 p>ticul>1 "o v rugg$ "y man1 :o seem$ z if no?+ w\ld move him1 0 n[ br\ght to tremble l ! jailor1 & weep = a long "t4 8,! ,pagans :o 7 awak5$1 seem$ at once to put (f _! savage r\ghness & ,pagan mann]s1 & became sociable1 ord]ly & humane 9 _! c>riage4 ,:5 !y fir/ came1 ,i exhort$ my religi\s p to take pa9s ) !m z !y _h done ) o!r /rang]s f "t to "t1 to in/ruct !m 9 ,*ri/ianity4 ,b :5 "s ( !m attempt$ some?+ ( t nature1 ! /rang]s w\ld soon rise up & walk to o!r h\ses 9 ord] to avoid ! he>+ ( su* disc\rses4 ,:]eupon "s ( ! s]i\s p]sons agre$ to disp]se !mselves into ! sev]al p>ts ( ! settlem5t2 s t :]ev] ! /rang]s w5t1 !y met ) "s in/ructive disc\rse1 & w>m addresses respect+ _! salvation4 ,b n[ !re 0 no ne$ ( us+ policy1 9 ord] to get an opportunity ( conv]s+ ) "s ( !m ab\t _! spiritual conc]ns2 = !y 7 s f> t\*$ ) a s5se ( _! p]i%+ /ate1 z made !m volunt>ily yield to ! close/ addresses :i* 7 made !m1 respect+ _! s9 & mis]y1 _! ne$ ( an acqua9tance )1 & int]e/ 9 ! great ,r$eem]4 ,m>* #bd4--8,numb]$ ! ,indians to see h[ _m s\ls ,god _h ga!r$ toge!r "h s9ce my com+ into ^! p>ts2 & f\nd !re 7 n[ ab\t an hundr$ & ?irty p]sons toge!r1 old & "y4 ,sev]al ( ^?1 :o are my /at$ he>]s1 p]haps to ! numb] ( fifte5 or tw5ty1 7 abs5t at ?is season4 ,if all _h be5 toge!r ! numb] w\ld n[ h be5 v consid]able2 especially consid]+ h[ few 7 toge!r at my fir/ com+ into ?is "p ( ! c\ntry3 ! :ole numb] n am\nt+ to t5 p]sons at t "t4 8,my p w5t out ?is day ) ! design ( cle>+ "s ( _! l&1 above fifte5 miles di/ant f ?is settlem5t1 9 ord] to _! settl+ !re 9 a compact =m1 :]e !y might be "u ! advantages ( att5d+ ! public wor%ip ( ,god1 ( hav+ _! *ildr5 taught 9 a s*ool1 & at ! same "t h a conv5i5cy = plant+3 _! l&1 9 ! place ( our pres5t resid5ce1 be+ ( little or no value = t purpose4 ,! design ( _! settl+ ?us 9 a body1 & cultivat+ _! l&s1 ( :i* !y h done v little 9 _! ,pagan /ate1 be+ ( su* necessity & importance to _! religi\s int]e/ z well z worldly com=t2 ,i ?\ght x prop] to call !m toge!r1 & %[ !m ! duty ( labor+ ) fai?fulness & indu/ry1 & t !y mu/ n n[ #8be slo?ful 9 bus9ess1' z !y _h ev] be5 9 _! ,pagan /ate4 ,i endeavor$ to press ! importance ( _! be+ labori\s1 dilig5t1 & vigor\s 9 ! prosecution ( _! bus9ess2 especially at ! pres5t juncture1 ! season ( plant+ be+ n[ ne>1 9 ord] to _! be+ 9 a capacity ( liv+ toge!r1 & enjoy+ ! means ( grace & in/ruction4 ,hav+ giv5 !m directions = _! "w1 :i* !y v mu* want$1 z well z = _! behavior 9 div]s respects2 ,i expla9$1 sang1 & endeavor$ to inculcate ^u !m ,dr4 ,watts' ,psalm1 ,if ,god to build ! h\se d5y c4 & hav+ recomm5d$ !m1 & ! design ( _! go+ =?1 to ,god1 by pray] ) !m1 ,i dismiss$ !m to _! bus9ess4 8,9 ! ev5+ read & exp\nd$ to ^? ( my p :o 7 yet at home1 & to ! /rang]s newly come1 ! sub/ance ( ! #c;d *apt] ( ! ,acts4 ,numb]s seem$ to melt "u ! ^w2 especially :ile ,i 0 disc\rs+ ^u v]se #ai4 #8,rep5t ye1 !re=e1 & be conv]t$1' c4 ,sev]al ( ! /rang]s also 7 affect$4 ,:5 ,i ask$ !m aft]w>d1 :e!r !y did n n[ feel t _! he>ts 7 wick$1 z ,i _h taught !m2 "o ( !m repli$1 #8,yes1 %e felt x n[4' ,al?\gh be=e %e came "h1 ^u he>+ t ,i taught ! ,indians t _! he>ts 7 all bad by nature1 & ne$$ to be *ang$ & made good by ! p[] ( ,god2 %e _h said1 #8,h] he>t 0 n wick$1 & %e _h nev] done any ?+ t 0 bad 9 h] life4' ,?is1 inde$1 seems to be ! case ) !m1 ,i ?9k univ]sally1 9 _! pagan /ate4 ,!y seem to h no consci\sness ( s9 & guilt1 unless !y c *>ge !mselves ) "s gross acts ( s9 contr>y to ! comm&s ( ! second table4 ,m>* #bg4--8;,disc\rs$ to a numb] ( my p 9 "o ( _! h\ses 9 a m private mann]4 ,inquir$ p>ticul>ly into _! spiritual /ates1 9 ord] to see :at impressions !y 7 "u4 ,laid be=e !m ! m>ks ( a reg5]ate1 z well z ( an unreg5]ate /ate2 & endeavor$ to suit & direct my disc\rse to !m sev]ally1 accord+ z ,i appreh5d$ _! /ates to be4 ,!re 7 a consid]able numb] ga!r$ toge!r be=e ,i f9i%$ my disc\rse2 & sev]al seem$ mu* affect$ :ile ,i 0 urg+ ! necessity & inf9ite importance ( gett+ into a r5ew$ /ate4 ,i f9d p>ticul> & close deal+ ) s\ls 9 private is (t5 v successful4 ,m>* #bi4--8;,9 ! ev5+ cate*is$1 z usual ^u ,saturday4 ,treat$ ^u ! b5efits :i* believ]s receive f ,*ri/ at dea?4 ,! que/ions 7 answ]$ ) great read9ess & propriety2 & ^? :o ,i h reason to ?9k are ! de> p ( ,god 7 9 g5]al sweetly melt$4 ,!re appe>$ su* a livel9ess & vigor 9 _! att5dance ^u ! ^w ( ,god1 & su* eag]ness to be made p>tak]s ( ! b5efits m5tion$1 t !y seem$ n only to be #8look+ =1' b #8ha/+ to1 ! com+ ( ! day ( ,god4' ,div9e tru?s seem$ to di/il ^u ! audi5ce ) a g5tle b melt+ efficacy1 z ! refre%+ #8%[]s ^u ! new m[n grass4' ,! assembly 9 g5]al1 z well z ^? :o appe> truly religi\s1 7 affect$ ) "s brief acc\nts ( ! bless$ness ( ! godly at dea?2 & mo/ ( !m !n discov]$ an affectionate incl9ation to cry #8,let me die ! dea? ( ! righte\s1 & let my la/ end be l 82' al?\gh _m 7 n duly engag$ to obta9 ! *ange ( he>t t is necess>y to t bless$ end4 ,"l's day1 ,m>* #cj4--8;,disc\rs$ f ,matt4 #be3ca-dj4 ,!re 0 a v consid]able mov+1 & affectionate melt+1 9 ! assembly4 ,i hope t !re 7 "s real1 deep1 & abid+ impressions ( div9e ?+s made ^u ! m9ds ( _m4 ,!re 0 "o ag$ man1 newly come among u1 :o appe>$ to be consid]ably awak5$ t nev] 0 t\*$ ) any conc]n = 8 s\l be=e4 ,9 ! ev5+ cate*is$4 ,!re 0 n t t5d]ness & melt+ engagem5t among ,god's p :i* appe>$ ! ev5+ be=e1 & _m o!r times4 ,!y answ]$ ! que/ions di/9ctly1 & well1 & 7 dev\t & att5tive 9 div9e s]vice4 ,m>* #ca4--8;,call$ my p toge!r1 z ,i _h done ! ,monday ev5+ be=e1 & disc\rs$ to !m aga9 on ! necessity & importance ( labor+ indu/ri\sly 9 ord] to _! liv+ toge!r1 & enjoy+ ! means ( grace1 c4 ,hav+ engag$ 9 a solemn pray] to ,god among !m = a bless+ ^u _! attempts1 ,i dismiss$ !m to _! "w4 ,numb]s ( !m1 bo? m5 & wom51 seem$ to (f] !mselves will+ly to ?is s]vice2 & "s appe>$ affectionately conc]n$ t ,god might g ) !m1 & beg9 _! little t[n = !m2 t by 8 bless+ x might be a place com=table = !m & !irs1 ) reg>d bo? to procur+ ! necess>ies ( life & to att5d+ on ! wor%ip ( ,god4 ,april #e4--8;,cate*is$ 9 ! ev5+4 ,!re appe>$ to be "s affection & f]v5t engagem5t 9 div9e s]vice ?r\gh ! assembly 9 g5]al2 especially t[>d ! conclusion ( my disc\rse4 ,aft] public wor%ip a numb] ( ^? :o ,i h reason to ?9k are truly religi\s came to my h\se1 & seem$ eag] = "s f>!r ent]ta9m5t ^u div9e ?+s4 ,:ile ,i 0 conv]s+ ) !m ab\t _! scriptural ex]cises2 obs]v+ to !m1 t ,god's "w 9 ! he>ts ( all 8 *ildr5 01 = sub/ance ! same2 & t _! trials & temptations 7 also alike2 & %[+ ! obligations su* 7 "u to love "o ano!r 9 a peculi> mann]1 !y seem$ to be melt$ into t5d]ness & affection t[>d ea* o!r4 ,i ?\ght t ?is p>ticul> tok5 ( _! be+ ! disciples ( ,*ri/1 viz4 ( _! hav+ love "o t[>d ano!r1 _h sc>cely ev] appe>$ m evid5t ?an at ?is "t4 ,"l's day1 ,april #f4--8,prea*$ f ,matt4 #g3ba-bc4 ,!re 7 consid]able effects ( ! ^w visible 9 ! audi5ce1 & su* z 7 v desirable2 an e>ne/ att5tion1 a great solemnity1 _m te>s & heavy sighs1 :i* 7 mode/ly suppress$ 9 a consid]able measure1 & appe>$ unaffect$ & )\t any indec5t commotion ( ! passions4 ,numb]s ( ! religi\s p 7 put ^u s]i\s & close exam9ation ( _! spiritual /ate by he>+ t #8n e "o t sai? to ,*ri/1 ,"l1 ,"l1 %all ent] into 8 k+dom4' ,"s express$ fe>s le/ !y _h deceiv$ !mselves1 & tak5 up a false hope1 because !y f\nd !y _h done s little ( ! w ( 8 ,fa!r :o is 9 heav54 8,!re 0 "o man br\ght "u a v great & press+ conc]n = 8 s\l2 :i* appe>$ m especially aft] 8 retirem5t f public wor%ip4 ,t :i* he says gave him 8 great uneas9ess 01 n s mu* any p>ticul> s91 z t he _h nev] done ! w ( ,god at all1 b _h s9n$ cont9ually1 & s _h no claim to ! k+dom ( heav54 ,9 ! aft]noon ,i op5$ to !m ! discipl9e ( ,*ri/ 9 8 ,*ur*1 & ! me?od 9 :i* (f5d]s are to be dealt )2 at :i* "t ! religi\s p 7 mu* affect$2 especially :5 !y he>d t ! (f5d]1 cont9u+ ob/9ate1 mu/ f9ally be e/eem$ & treat$ #8z an hea!n man1' z a pagan1 :o has no "p nor lot among ,god's visible p4 ,( ?is !y seem$ to h ! mo/ awful appreh5sions2 a /ate ( hea!nism1 out ( :i* !y 7 s lately br\ght1 appe>+ v dreadful to !m4 8,aft] public wor%ip ,i visit$ sev]al h\ses to see h[ !y sp5t ! rema9d] ( ! ,sabba?1 & to treat ) !m solemnly on ! great conc]ns ( _! s\ls4 ,! ,"l seem$ to smile ^u my private endeavors1 & to make ^! p>ticul> & p]sonal addresses m effectual ^u "s ?an my public disc\rses4 ,april #g4--8;,disc\rs$ to my p 9 ! ev5+1 f #a ,cor4 #aa3bc-bf4 ,endeavor$ to op5 to !m ! in/itution1 nature1 & ends ( ! ,"l's ,supp]1 z well z ( ! qualifications & prep>ations necess>y to ! "r p>ticipation ( t ord9ance4 ,numb]s appe>$ mu* affect$ ) ! love ( ,*ri/1 manife/$ 9 8 mak+ ?is provision = ! com=t ( 8 p1 at a season :5 himself 0 j ent]+ ^u 8 %>pe/ suff]+s4 ,"l's day1 ,april #bj4--8;,disc\rs$1 bo? =5oon & aft]noon1 f ,luke1 #bd2 expla9+ mo/ ( ! *apt]1 & mak+ rem>ks ^u x4 ,!re 0 a desirable att5tion 9 ! audi5ce2 ?\gh !re 0 n s mu* appe>ance ( affection & t5d]ness among !m z _h be5 usual4 ,our meet+ 0 v full2 !re be+ sundry /rang]s pres5t :o _h nev] be5 ) u be=e4 8,9 ! ev5+ cate*is$4 ,my p answ]$ ! que/ions propos$ to !m readily & di/9ctly2 & ,i c\ld p]ceive t !y advanc$ 9 _! k ( ! pr9ciples ( ,*ri/ianity4 ,!re appe>$ an affectionate melt+ 9 ! assembly at ?is "t4 ,sev]al1 :o ,i tru/ are truly religi\s1 7 refre%$ & quick5$1 & seem$ by _! disc\rse & behavior aft] public wor%ip to h _! #8he>ts knit toge!r 9 love4' ,?is 0 a sweet & bless$ season1 l _m o!rs ) :i* my poor p h be5 favor$ 9 mon?s pa/4 ,god has caus$ ?is little fleece to be repeat$ly wet ) ! bless$ dew ( 8 div9e grace1 :ile all ! e>? ar\nd has be5 comp>atively dry4 ,april #be4--8,set ap>t ?is day1 z prep>atory to ! adm9i/ration ( ! ,"l's ,supp]1 = solemn fa/+ & pray]4 ,! design 0 to implore ! bless+ ( ,god ^u our r5ew+ cov5ant ) him1 & ) "o ano!r1 to walk toge!r 9 ! fe> ( ,god1 9 love & ,*ri/ian fell[%ip1 & to entreat t 8 pres5ce might be ) u 9 our design$ approa* to 8 table2 z well z to humble ourselves be=e ,god on acc\nt ( ! app>5t )drawm5t1 at lea/ 9 a measure1 ( t bless$ influ5ce :i* has be5 s preval5t ^u p]sons ( all ages among u2 z also on acc\nt ( ! ris+ appe>ance ( c>elessness1 vanity1 & vice1 among "s :o once appe>$ to be t\*$ & affect$ ) div9e tru?1 & br\ght to "s s5sibility ( _! mis]able & p]i%+ /ate by nature4 ,x 0 also design$ t we might importunately pray = ! peaceable settlem5t ( ! ,indians toge!r 9 a body2 t !y might be a commodi\s congregation = ! wor%ip ( ,god2 & t ,god w\ld defeat all ! attempts t 71 or might be1 made aga9/ t pi\s design4,g ,footnote ,g3 ,!re 0 at ?is "t a t]rible clamor rais$ aga9/ ! ,indians 9 v>i\s places 9 ! c\ntry1 & ins9uations z ?\gh ,i 0 tra9+ !m up to cut p's ?roats4 ,numb]s wi%$ to h !m bani%$ f ^! p>ts1 & "s gave out great words 9 ord] to fright & det] !m f settl+ ^u ! be/ & mo/ conv5i5t tract ( _! own l&s2 ?reat5+ to tr\ble !m 9 ! law2 pret5d+ a claim to ^! l&s !mselves1 al?\gh nev] pur*as$ ( ! ,indians4 8,! solemnity 0 obs]v$ & s]i\sly att5d$1 n only by ^? :o propos$ to commune at ! ,"l's table1 b by ! :ole congregation4 ,9 ! =m] "p ( ! day ,i endeavor$ to op5 to my p ! nature & design ( a fa/1 z ,i _h attempt$ m briefly to d be=e1 & to in/ruct !m 9 ! duties ( su* a solemnity4 ,9 ! aft]noon ,i insi/$ on ! special reasons !re 7 = our engag+ 9 ^! solemn ex]cises at ?is "t2 bo? 9 reg>d to ! ne$ we /ood 9 ( div9e assi/ance1 9 ord] to a due prep>ation = t sacr$ ord9ance1 ^u :i* "s ( u 7 propos+1 ) leave ( div9e ,provid5ce1 spe$ily to att5d2 & also 9 respect ( ! manife/ decl9e ( ,god's "w "h1 z to ! effectual conviction & conv]sion ( s9n]s2 !re hav+ be5 few ( late deeply awak5$ out ( a /ate ( security4 ,! wor%ip ( ,god 0 att5d$ ) great solemnity & rev]5ce1 ) mu* t5d]ness & _m te>s1 by ^? :o appe>$ to be truly religi\s2 & !re 0 "s appe>ance ( div9e p[] ^u ^? :o _h be5 awak5$ "s "t be=e1 & :o 7 /ill "u conc]n4 8,aft] repeat$ pray]1 & att5dance ^u ! ^w ( ,god1 ,i propos$ to ! religi\s p1 ) z mu* brevity & pla9ness z ,i c\ld1 ! sub/ance ( ! doctr9e ( ! *ri/ian fai?1 z ,i _h =m]ly done2 & _h _! r5ew$ *e]ful ass5t to x4 ,i !n l$ !m to a solemn r5ewal ( _! cov5ant1 :]e9 !y _h explicitly & publicly giv5 up !mselves to ,god ! ,fa!r1 ,son1 & ,holy ,gho/1 av\*+ him to be _! ,god2 & at ! same "t r5\nc+ _! hea!ni% vanities1 _! idolatr\s & sup]/iti\s practices2 solemnly engag+ to take ! ,^w ( ,god1 s f> z x 0 or might be made kn[n to !m1 = ! rule ( _! lives2 promis+ to walk toge!r 9 love1 to wat* ov] !mselves & "o ano!r1 to lead lives ( s]i\sness & devotion1 & to dis*>ge ! relative duties incumb5t on !m respectively1 c4 ,?is solemn transaction 0 att5d$ ) mu* gravity & s]i\sness2 & at ! same "t ) ! utmo/ read9ess1 fre$om & *e]fulness2 & a religi\s union & h>mony ( s\l seem$ to cr[n ! :ole solemnity4 ,i c\ld n b ?9k 9 ! ev5+1 t !re _h be5 manife/ tok5s ( ! div9e pres5ce ) u 9 all ! sev]al s]vices ( ! day2 ?\gh x 0 also manife/ t !re 0 n t conc]n among ,*ri/less s\ls :i* has (t5 appe>$ "h4 ,april #bf4--8,t[>d noon pray$ ) a dy+ *ild1 & gave a ^w ( exhortation to ! by/&]s to prep>e = dea?2 :i* seem$ to take effect ^u "s4 ,9 ! aft]noon disc\rs$ to my p f ,mat!w1 #bf3bf-cj2 ( ! au?or1 ! nature1 & designs ( ! ,"l's supp]2 & endeavor$ to po9t out ! wor?y receiv]s ( t ord9ance4 ,! religi\s p 7 affect$1 & ev5 melt$ ) div9e tru?1--) a view ( ! dy+ love ( ,*ri/4 ,sev]al o!rs1 :o _h be5 = "s mon?s "u convictions ( _! p]i%+ /ate1 appe>$ n[ to be mu* mov$ ) conc]n1 & afre% engag$ 9 seek+ aft] an int]e/ 9 ,*ri/2 al?\gh ,i _c say t ! ^w ( ,god appe>$ s quick & p[]ful1 s %>p & pi]c+ to ! assembly1 z x _h sometimes =m]ly done4 8,9 ! ev5+ ,i cate*is$ ^? :o 7 design$ to p>take ( ! ,"l's supp] ! next day1 ^u ! in/itution1 nature & end ( t ord9ance2 & _h abundant satisfaction respect+ _! doctr9al k & fitness 9 t respect = an att5dance ^u x4 ,!y likewise appe>$ 9 g5]al to h an affect+ s5se ( ! solemnity ( ?is sacr$ ord9ance1 & to be humbl$ "u a s5se ( _! own unwor?9ess to approa* to ,god 9 x2 & to be e>ne/ly conc]n$ t !y might be duly prep>$ = an att5dance ^u x4 ,_! he>ts 7 full ( love "o t[>d ano!r1 & t 0 ! frame ( m9d !y seem$ conc]n$ to ma9ta9 & br+ to ! ,"l's table ) !m4 ,9 ! s++ & pray] aft] cate*is+1 !re appe>$ an agreeable t5d]ness & melt+ among !m2 & su* tok5s ( bro!rly love & affection z w\ld ev5 con/ra9 "o to say1 #8,"l1 x is good to be "h2' x is good to dwell :]e su* an heav5ly influ5ce di/ills4 ,"l's day1 ,april #bg4--8,prea*$ f ,tit4 #b3ad2 #8,:o gave himself = u1' c4 ,! ^w ( ,god1 at ?is "t1 0 att5d$ ) "s appe>ance ( div9e p[] ^u ! assembly2 s t ! att5tion & gravity ( ! audi5ce 7 rem>kable2 & especially t[>d ! conclusion ( ! ex]cise1 _m p]sons 7 mu* affect$4 ,adm9i/]$ ! ,"l's supp] to tw5ty ?ree p]sons ( ! ,indians1 ! numb] ( ! m5 & wom5 be+ ne>ly equal2 sev]al o!rs1 to ! numb] ( five or six1 be+ n[ abs5t at ! ,=ks ( ,delaw>e1 :o w\ld o!rwise h commun$ ) u4 ,! ord9ance 0 att5d$ ) great solemnity1 & ) a mo/ desirable t5d]ness & affection4 ,x 0 rem>kable t dur+ ! adm9i/ration ( ! ord9ance1 especially 9 ! di/ribution ( ! bread1 !y seem$ to be affect$ 9 a mo/ lively mann]1 z if ,*ri/ _h be5 really crucifi$ be=e !m4 ,! words ( ! in/itution1 :5 repeat$ & enl>g$ ^u 9 ! season ( ! adm9i/ration1 seem$ to meet ) ! same reception1 to be ent]ta9$ ) ! same free & full belief & affectionate engagem5t ( s\l1 z if ! ,"l ,jesus ,*ri/ himself _h be5 pres5t1 & _h p]sonally spok5 to !m4 ,! affections ( ! communicants1 al?\gh consid]ably rais$1 71 not)/&+1 agreeably regulat$ & kept )9 prop] b\nds4 ,s t !re 0 a sweet1 g5tle1 & affectionate melt+1 )\t any indec5t or boi/]\s commotion ( ! passions4 8,hav+ re/$ sometime aft] ! adm9i/ration ( ! ,supp]1 be+ extremely tir$ ) ! necess>y prolixity ( ! "w1 ,i walk$ f h\se to h\se1 & conv]s$ p>ticul>ly ) mo/ ( ! communicants1 & f\nd !y _h be5 almo/ univ]sally refre%$ at ! ,"l's table1 #8z ) new w9e4' ,nev] did ,i see su* an appe>ance ( ,*ri/ian love among any p 9 all my life4 ,x 0 s rem>kable1 t "o might well h cri$ ) an agreeable surprise1 #8,behold h[ !y love "o ano!r4' ,i ?9k !re c\ld be no great] tok5s ( mutual affection among ! p ( ,god1 9 ! e>ly days ( ,*ri/ianity1 ?an :at n[ appe>$ "h4 ,! sight 0 s desirable1 & s well becom+ ! gospel1 t no?+ less c\ld be said ( x ?an x 0 #8! do+ ( ! ,"l1' ! g5u9e op]ation ( ,him1 #8:o is ,love4' 8,t[>d night disc\rs$ aga9 on ! =em5tion$ text1 ,tit4 #b3ad2 & insi/$ on ! imm$iate end & design ( ,*ri/'s dea?3 viz4 ,t he might r$eem 8 p f all iniquity1 c4 ,?is appe>$ to be a season ( div9e p[] among u4 ,! religi\s p 7 mu* refre%$1 & seem$ rem>kably t5d] & affectionate1 full ( love1 joy1 & peace1 & desir\s ( be+ completely #8r$eem$ f all iniquity2' s t "s ( !m aft]w>d told me t #8!y _h nev] felt ! l be=e4' ,convictions also appe>$ to be reviv$ 9 _m in/ances2 & sev]al p]sons 7 awak5$ :om ,i _h nev] obs]v$ "u any religi\s impressions be=e4 8,su* 0 ! influ5ce :i* att5d$ our assembly1 & s unspeakably desirable ! frame ( m9d :i* _m enjoy$ 9 div9e s]vice1 t x seem$ almo/ griev\s to conclude ! public wor%ip4 ,! congregation1 :5 dismiss$1 al?\gh x 0 !n almo/ d>k1 appe>$ lo? to leave ! place & employm5ts :i* _h be5 r5d]$ s de> to !m by ! b5efits enjoy$1 :ile a bless$ quick5+ influ5ce di/ill$ ^u !m4 ,^u ! :ole1 ,i mu/ say1 ,i _h great satisfaction relative to ! adm9i/ration ( ?is ord9ance 9 v>i\s respects4 ,i h abundant reason to ?9k1 t ^? :o came to ! ,"l's table _h a good degree ( doctr9al k ( ! nature & design ( ! ord9ance1 & t !y act$ ) und]/&+ 9 :at !y did4 8,9 ! prep>atory s]vices ,i f\nd1 ,i may ju/ly say1 uncommon fre$om 9 op5+ to _! und]/&+s & capacities1 ! cov5ant ( grace1 & 9 %[+ !m ! nature ( ?is ord9ance4 ,!y 7 likewise ?or\ghly s5sible t x 0 no m ?an a sign1 & n ! real body & blood ( ,*ri/2 t x 0 design$ = ! refre%m5t & edification ( ! s\l1 & n = ! fea/+ ( ! body4 ,!y 7 also acqua9t$ ) ! end ( ! ord9ance1 t !y 7 !re9 call$ to commemorate ! dy+ love ( ,*ri/4 8,?is compet5cy ( doctr9al k1 toge!r ) _! grave & dec5t att5dance ^u ! ord9ance1 _! affectionate melt+ "u x1 & ! sweet & ,*ri/ian frame ( m9d :i* !y discov]$ aft] x1 gave me great satisfaction respect+ my adm9i/ration ( x to !m4 ,o1 :at a sweet & bless$ season 0 ?is6 ,god himself1 ,i am p]suad$1 0 9 ! mid/ ( 8 p4 ,i d\bt n b _m1 9 ! conclusion ( ! day1 c\ld say ) _! :ole he>ts1 ',v]ily1 a day ?us sp5t 9 ,god's h\se is bett] ?an a ?\s& else:]e4' ,!re seem$ to be b "o he>t among ! pi\s p4 ,! sweet union1 h>mony & ende>+ love & t5d]ness subsi/+ among !m 01 ,i ?\ght1 ! mo/ lively emblem ( ! heav5ly _w :i* ,i _h ev] se54 ,april #bh4--8;,conclud$ ! solemnity ( ! ,"l's supp] ) a disc\rse ^u ,john1 #ad3ae4 #8,if ye love me1 keep my comm&m5ts4' ,at ?is "t !re appe>$ a v agreeable t5d]ness 9 ! audi5ce 9 g5]al1 b especially 9 ! communicants4 ,o1 h[ free1 h[ engag$ & affectionate did ^! appe> 9 ! s]vice ( ,god6 !y seem$ will+ to h _! e>s bor$ to ! door po/s ( ,god's h\se1 & to be 8 s]vants = ev]4 8,obs]v+ numb]s 9 ?is excell5t frame1 & ! assembly 9 g5]al affect$1 & t by a div9e influ5ce1 ,i ?\ght x prop] to improve ?is advantage\s season z ,hezekiah did ! desirable season ( 8 great passov]1 #b ,*ron4 #ca1 9 ord] to promote ! bless$ re=mation begun among !m2 & to engage ^? t appe>$ s]i\s & religi\s to p]sev]e !re94 ,accord+ly ,i propos$ to !m1 t !y %\ld r5ew$ly ent] into cov5ant be=e ,god1 t !y w\ld wat* ov] !mselves & "o ano!r1 le/ !y %\ld di%onor ! "n ( ,*ri/ by fall+ into s9ful & unbecom+ practices2 & especially t !y w\ld wat* aga9/ ! s9 ( drunk5ness1 #8! s9 t easily besets !m1' & ! temptations lead+ !reto1 z well z ! appe>ance ( evil 9 t respect4 ,!y *e]fully compli$ ) ! proposal1 & explicitly jo9$ 9 t cov5ant2 :]eupon ,i proce$$ 9 ! mo/ solemn mann] ( :i* ,i 0 capable1 to call ,god to witness respect+ _! sacr$ engagem5ts1 & rem9d$ !m ( ! greatness ( ! guilt !y w\ld contract to !mselves 9 ! violation ( x1 z well z obs]v$ to !m t ,god w\ld be a t]rible witness aga9/ ^?1 :o %\ld presume to d s 9 ! great & notable day ( ! ,"l4 ,x 0 a season ( amaz+ solemnity2 & a div9e awe appe>$ ^u ! face ( ! :ole assembly 9 ?is transaction4 ,affectionate sobs1 sighs & te>s 7 n[ frequ5t 9 ! audi5ce2 & ,i d\bt n b t _m sil5t cries 7 !n s5t up to ! ,f\nta9 ( grace = supplies ( grace suffici5t = ! fulfilm5t ( ^! solemn engagem5ts4 ,"l's day1 ,may #d4--8,my p be+ n[ remov$ to _! l&s1 m5tion$ 9 my di>y ( ,m>* #bd1 :]e !y 7 !n & h s9ce be5 mak+ provision = a compact settlem5t1 9 ord] to _! m conv5i5t enjoym5t ( ! ,gospel & o!r means ( in/ruction1 z well z ( ! com=ts ( life2 ,i ?is day visit$ !m2 be+ n[ oblig$ to bo>d ) an ,engli% family at "s di/ance f !m2 & prea*$ to !m 9 ! =5oon f ,m>k1 #d3e4 ,endeavor$ to %[ !m ! reason !re 0 to fe>1 le/ _m promis+ appe>ances & hopeful beg9n+s 9 religion might prove abortive1 l ! se$ dropp$ ^u /ony places4 8,9 ! aft]noon disc\rs$ ^u ,rom4 #h3i4 #8,n[1 if any man h n ! _s ( ,*ri/1 he is none ( 84' ,i h reason to ?9k ?is disc\rse 0 peculi>ly seasonable1 & t x _h a good effect ^u "s ( ! he>]s4 ,sp5t "s h\rs aft]w>d 9 private conf]5ce ) my p1 & labor$ to regulate "s ?+s :i* ,i appreh5d$ amiss among "s ( !m4 ,may #e4--8,visit$ my p aga91 & took c>e ( _! worldly conc]ns2 giv+ !m directions relat+ to _! bus9ess4 ,i daily discov] m & m ( :at importance x is likely to be to _! religi\s int]e/s1 t !y become labori\s & indu/ri\s1 acqua9t$ ) ! affairs ( husb&ry1 & able 9 a good measure to raise ! necess>ies & com=ts ( life )9 !mselves2 = _! pres5t me?od ( liv+ greatly exposes !m to temptations ( v>i\s k9ds4 ,may #i4--8,prea*$ f ,john1 #e3dj1 9 ! op5 wild]ness2 ! ,indians hav+ z yet no h\se = public wor%ip 9 ?is place1 nor sc>cely any %elt]s = !mselves4 ,div9e tru?s made consid]able impressions ^u ! audi5ce1 & x 0 a season ( great solemnity1 t5d]ness1 & affection4 8,?is day receiv$ into communion ! conjur]1 murd]]1 c4 m5tion$ 9 my di>y ( ,augu/ #h1 #agde1 & ,febru>y #a1 #agdf1 :o appe>s to be su* a rem>kable in/ance ( div9e grace t ,i _c omit to give "s brief acc\nt ( him "h4 ,he liv$ ne>1 & sometimes att5d$ my meet+ at ! ,=ks ( ,delaw>e1 = m ?an a ye>2 b 01 l _m o!rs ( !m1 extremely atta*$ to /rong dr9k1 & seem$ to be 9 no degree re=m$ by ! means :i* ,i us$ ) !m = _! in/ruction & conv]sion4 ,at ?is "t he likewise murd]$ a likely "y ,indian1 :i* ?rew him into "s k9d ( horror & desp]ation1 s t he kept at a di/ance f me1 & refus$ to he> me prea* = sev]al mon?s toge!r1 until ,i _h an opportunity ( conv]s+ freely ) him1 & giv+ him enc\ragem5t1 t 8 s9 might be =giv51 = ,*ri/'s sake4 ,aft] ?is he aga9 att5d$ my meet+ sometimes4 8,b t :i* 0 ! wor/ ( all 8 conduct1 0 8 conjuration4 ,he 0 "o ( ^? :o are sometimes call$ p[aws among ! ,indians2 &1 not)/&+ 8 frequ5t att5dance ^u my prea*+1 he /ill foll[$ 8 old *>ms & juggl+ tricks1 #8giv+ out t himself 0 "s great "o1 & to him !y gave he$1' suppos+ him to be possess$ ( great p[]4 ,:5 ,i h in/ruct$ !m respect+ ! miracles wr\ght by ,*ri/ 9 heal+ ! sick1 c4 & m5tion$ !m z evid5ce ( 8 div9e mission1 & ! tru?s ( 8 doctr9e2 !y h quickly obs]v$ ! wond]s ( t k9d :i* ?is man _h p]=m$ by 8 magic *>ms4 ,h5ce !y _h a high op9ion ( him & 8 sup]/iti\s notions2 :i* seem$ to be a fatal ob/ruction to "s ( !m 9 reg>d to _! receiv+ ! ,gospel4 ,i _h (t5 ?\ght t x w\ld be a great favor to ! design ( evangeliz+ ^! ,indians1 if ,god w\ld take t wret* out ( ! _w2 = ,i _h sc>cely any hope ( 8 ev] becom+ good4 ,b ,god1 ^: ?\ghts are n z man's ?\ghts1 has be5 pleas$ to take a mu* m desirable me?od ) him2 a me?od agreeable to 8 own m]ciful nature1 & ,i tru/ advantage\s to 8 own int]e/ among ! ,indians1 z well z effectual to ! salvation ( 8 poor s\l4 ,to ,god be ! glory ( x4 8,! fir/ g5u9e conc]n = 8 s\l 0 excit$ by see+ my int]pret] & 8 wife publicly pr(ess ,*ri/1 at ! ,=ks ( ,delaw>e1 ,july #ba1 #agde2 :i* s prevail$ ^u him1 t ) ! invitation ( an ,indian :o 0 a fri5d to ,*ri/ianity1 he foll[$ me d[n to ,crossweeksung1 9 ! beg9n+ ( ,augu/1 9 ord] to he> me prea*2 & !re cont9u$ = sev]al weeks 9 ! season ( ! mo/ rem>kable & p[]ful awak5+ among ! ,indians2 at :i* "t he 0 m effectually awak5$1 & br\ght "u great conc]n = 8 s\l4 ,& !n1 he says1 ^u 8 #8feel+ ! ^w ( ,god 9 8 he>t1' z he expresses x1 8 _s ( conjuration left him entirely1 s t he has _h no m p[] ( t nature s9ce1 ?an any o!r man liv+4 ,he also decl>es1 t he does n n[ s mu* z "k h[ he us$ to *>m & conjure1 & t he c\ld n n[ d any ?+ ( t nature if he 7 ev] s desir\s ( x4 8,he cont9u$ "u convictions ( 8 s9ful & p]i%+ /ate1 & a consid]able degree ( conc]n = 8 s\l1 all ! fall & ! =m] "p ( ! w9t] pa/2 b 0 n s deeply ex]cis$ until "s "t 9 ,janu>y4 ,!n ! ^w ( ,god took su* hold ^u him t he 0 br\ght into deep di/ress1 & knew n :at to d1 nor :]e to turn himself4 ,he !n told me1 t :5 he us$ to he> me prea* f "t to "t 9 ! fall ( ! ye>1 my prea*+ prick$ 8 he>t1 & made him v uneasy1 b did n br+ him to s great di/ress1 because he /ill hop$ he c\ld d some?+ = 8 own relief2 b n[1 he said1 ,i drove him up 9 su* a %>p corn]1 t he _h no way to turn1 & c\ld n avoid be+ 9 di/ress4 ,he cont9u$ con/antly "u ! heavy burd5 & pressure ( a w\nd$ _s1 until at l5g? he 0 br\ght into ! acute angui% & utmo/ agony ( s\l1 m5tion$ 9 my ,j\rnal ( ,febru>y #a1 :i* cont9u$ t night & "p ( ! next day4 ,aft] ?is he 0 br\ght to ! utmo/ calmness & composure ( m9d2 8 trembl+ & heavy burd5 7 remov$2 & he appe>$ p]fectly s$ate1 al?\gh he _h to 8 appreh5sions sc>cely any hope ( salvation4 8,i obs]v$ him to appe> rem>kably compos$2 & !re=e ask$ him h[ he did8 ,he repli$1 #8,x is done1 x is done1 x is all done n[4' ,i ask$ him :at he meant8 ,he answ]$1 #8,i c nev] d any m to save myself2 x is all done = ev]4 ,i c d no m4' ,i qu]i$ ) him1 :e!r he c\ld n d a little m1 r ?an g to hell8 ,he repli$1 #8my he>t is dead4 ,i c nev] help myself4' ,i ask$ him :at he ?\ght w\ld become ( him !n8 ,he answ]$1 #8,i mu/ g to hell4' ,i ask$ him if he ?\ght x 0 "r t ,god %\ld s5d him to hell8 ,he repli$1 #8,o x is "r4 ,! devil has be5 9 me ev] s9ce ,i 0 born4' ,i ask$ him if he felt ?is :5 he 0 9 su* great di/ress ! ev5+ be=e8 ,he answ]$1 #8,no2 ,i did n !n ?9k x 0 "r4 ,i ?\ght ,god w\ld s5d me to hell1 & t ,i 0 !n dropp+ into x2 b my he>t qu>rell$ ) ,god1 & w\ld n say x 0 "r he %\ld s5d me !re4 ,b n[ ,i "k x is "r2 = ,i h always s]v$ ! devil2 & my he>t has no goodness 9 x n[1 b x is z bad z ev] x 01' c4 ,i ?\ght ,i _h sc>cely ev] se5 any p]son m effectually br\ght (f f a dep5dance ^u 8 own contrivances & endeavors = salvation1 or m app>5tly to lie at ! foot ( sov]eign m]cy1 ?an ?is man did "u ^! views ( ?+s4 8,9 ?is frame ( m9d he cont9u$ = sev]al days1 pass+ s5t5ce ( condemnation ^u himself1 & con/antly own+ t x w\ld be "r he %\ld be damn$1 & t he expect$ ?is w\ld be 8 portion = ! greatness ( 8 s9s4 ,yet x 0 pla9 t he _h a secret hope ( m]cy1 ?\gh imp]ceptible to himself1 :i* kept him n only f despair b f any press+ di/ress3 s t1 in/ead ( be+ sad & deject$1 8 v c\nt5ance appe>$ pleasant & agreeable4 8,:ile he 0 9 ?is frame he sev]al times ask$ me #8,:5 ,i w\ld prea* aga98' & seem$ desir\s to he> ! ^w ( ,god e day4 ,i ask$1 #8,:y he want$ to he> me prea*1 see+ 8 he>t 0 dead1 & all 0 done2 t he c\ld nev] help himself1 & expect$ t he mu/ g to hell8' ,he repli$1 #8,i love to he> y speak ab\t ,*ri/ = all4' ,i add$1 ',b :at good w t d y1 if y mu/ g to hell at la/8'--us+ n[ 8 own language ) him1 hav+ be=e f "t to "t labor$ 9 ! be/ mann] ,i c\ld to repres5t to him ! excell5cy ( ,*ri/1 8 all-suffici5cy & will+ness to save lo/ s9n]s1 & p]sons j 9 8 case2 al?\gh to no purpose1 z to yield+ him any special com=t4 ,he answ]$1 #8,i w\ld h o!rs come to ,*ri/1 if ,i mu/ g to hell myself4' ,x 0 rem>kable1 t he seem$ to h a great love = ! p ( ,god2 & no?+ affect$ him s mu* z ! ?\ght ( be+ sep>at$ f !m4 ,?is seem$ to be a v dreadful "p ( ! hell to :i* he saw himself doom$4 ,x 0 likewise rem>kable1 t 9 ?is season he 0 mo/ dilig5t 9 ! use ( all ! means = ! s\l's salvation2 al?\gh he _h ! cle>e/ view ( ! ineffici5cy ( means to af=d him help4 ,he w\ld frequ5tly say1 t all he did signifi$ no?+ at all2 & yet 0 nev] m con/ant 9 do+2 att5d+ secret & family pray] daily1 & surpris+ly dilig5t & att5tive 9 he>+ ! ^w ( ,god2 s t he nei!r despair$ ( m]cy1 nor yet presum$ to hope ^u 8 own do+s1 b us$ means because appo9t$ ( ,god 9 ord] to salvation2 & because he w\ld wait ^u ,god 9 8 own way4 8,aft] he _h cont9u$ 9 ?is frame ( m9d m ?an a week1 :ile ,i 0 disc\rs+ publicly1 he seem$ to h a lively s\l-refre%+ view ( ! excell5cy ( ,*ri/ & ! way ( salvation by him1 :i* melt$ him into te>s1 & fill$ him ) admiration1 com=t1 satisfaction & praise to ,god4 ,s9ce !n he has appe>$ to be a humble1 dev\t & affectionate ,*ri/ian2 s]i\s & exempl>y 9 8 conv]sation & behavior1 frequ5tly compla9+ ( 8 b>r5ness1 8 want ( spiritual w>m?1 life & activity1 & yet frequ5tly favor$ ) quick5+ & refre%+ influ5ces4 ,9 all respects1 s f> z ,i am capable ( judg+1 he be>s ! m>ks ( "o #8creat$ anew 9 ,*ri/ ,jesus to good works4' 8,8 zeal = ! cause ( ,god 0 pleas+ to me :5 he 0 ) me at ! ,=ks ( ,delaw>e 9 ,febru>y la/4 ,!re be+ an old ,indian at ! place :]e ,i prea*$ :o ?reat5$ to bewit* me1 & my religi\s p :o accompani$ me !re2 ?is man pres5tly *all5g$ him to d 8 wor/1 tell+ him t himself _h be5 z great a conjur] z he2 & t not)/&+1 z soon z he felt t ^w 9 8 he>t :i* ^! p lov$1 mean+ ! ^w ( ,god1 8 p[] ( conjur+ imm$iately left him4 #8,& s x w\ld y1' said he1 #8if y did b once feel x 9 y\r he>t2 & y h no p[] to hurt !m1 nor s mu* z to t\* "o ( !m1' c4 ,s t ,i may conclude my acc\nt ( him by obs]v+1 9 allusion to :at 0 said ( ,/4 ,paul1 t he n[ zeal\sly #8def5ds & practically prea*es ! fai? :i* he once de/roy$1' or at lea/ 0 in/rum5tal 9 ob/ruct+4 ,may ,god h ! glory ( ! amaz+ *ange :i* he has wr\ght 9 him4 ,"l's day1 ,may #ah4--8;,disc\rs$ bo? p>ts ( ! day f ,rev4 #c3bj1 #8,behold ,i /& at ! door & knock4' ,!re appe>$ "s affectionate melt+ t[>d ! conclusion ( ! =5oon ex]cise1 & "o or two in/ances ( fre% awak5+4 ,9 ! int]mission ( public wor%ip ,i took occasion to disc\rse to numb]s 9 a m private way1 on ! k9dness & pati5ce ( ! bless$ ,r$eem] 9 /&+ & knock+1 9 cont9u+ 8 graci\s calls to s9n]s1 :o _h long neglect$ & abus$ 8 grace2 :i* seem$ to take "s effect ^u sev]al4 8,9 ! aft]noon div9e tru? 0 att5d$ ) solemnity1 & ) "s te>s2 al?\gh !re 0 n t p[]ful awak5+ & quick5+ influ5ce :i* 9 times pa/ has be5 common 9 our assemblies4 ,! appe>ance ( ! audi5ce 0 comp>atively disc\rag+1 & ,i 0 ready to fe> t ,god 0 ab\t to )draw ! bless$ influ5ce ( 8 ,_s f u4 ,may #ai4--8,visit$ & prea*$ to my p f ,acts1 #bj3ah1 #ai1 & endeavor$ to rectify _! notions ab\t religi\s affections2 %[+ !m on ! "o h& ! desirabl5ess ( religi\s affection1 t5d]ness & f]v5t engagem5t 9 ! wor%ip & s]vice ( ,god1 :5 su* affection fl[s f a true spiritual discov]y ( div9e glories1 f a j s5se ( ! transc5dant excell5ce & p]fections ( ! bless$ ,god1 & a view ( ! glory & lovel9ess ( ! great ,r$eem]2 & t su* views ( div9e ?+s w naturally excite u to #8s]ve ! ,"l ) _m te>s1 ) mu* affection & f]v5cy1 & yet ) all humility ( m9d4' ,on ! o!r h&1 ,i obs]v$ ! s9fulness ( seek+ aft] high affections imm$iately & = _! own sakes2 t is1 ( mak+ !m ! object :i* our eye & he>t is fir/ & pr9cipally set ^u1 :5 ! glory ( ,god ought to be t object4 ,%[$ !m1 t1 if ! he>t be directly & *iefly fix$ on ,god1 & ! s\l engag$ to glorify him1 "s degree ( religi\s affection w be ! effect & att5dant ( x4 ,b to seek aft] affection directly & *iefly2 to h ! he>t pr9cipally set ^u t2 is to place x 9 ! room ( ,god & 8 glory4 ,if x be s\ght1 t o!rs may take notice ( x1 & admire u = our spirituality & =w>dness 9 religion1 x is !n abom9able pride2 if = ! sake ( feel+ ! pleasure ( be+ affect$1 x is !n idolatry & self-gratification4 ,labor$ also to expose ! disagreeabl5ess ( ^? affections :i* are sometimes wr\ght up 9 p]sons by ! p[] ( fancy1 & _! own attempts = t purpose1 :ile ,i /ill endeavor$ to recomm5d to !m t religi\s affection1 f]v5cy & devotion :i* ought to att5d all our religi\s ex]cises1 & )\t :i* religion w be b an empty "n & lifeless c>case4 ,?is appe>$ to be a seasonable disc\rse1 & prov$ v satisfactory to "s ( ! religi\s p :o be=e 7 ex]cis$ ) "s difficulties relat+ to ?is po9t4 ,aft]w>d took c>e (1 & gave my p directions ab\t _! worldly affairs4 ,may #bd4--8,visit$ ! ,indians1 & took c>e ( _! secul> bus9ess2 :i* !y are n able to manage !mselves )\t ! con/ant c>e & advice ( o!rs4 ,aft]w>d disc\rs$ to "s ( !m p>ticul>ly ab\t _! spiritual conc]ns4--,enjoy$ ?is day some:at ( ! same frame ( m9d :i* ,i felt ! day be=e4 ,"l's day1 ,may #be4--8;,disc\rs$ bo? p>ts ( ! day f ,john1 #ab3dd-dh4 ,!re 0 "s degree ( div9e p[] att5d+ ! ^w ( ,god4 ,sev]al wept1 & appe>$ consid]ably affect$1 & "o1 :o _h long be5 "u spiritual tr\ble1 n[ obta9$ cle>ness & com=t1 & appe>$ to rejoice 9 ,god h] ,savior4 ,x 0 a day ( grace & div9e goodness2 a day :]e9 some?+ ,i tru/ 0 done = ! cause ( ,god among my p2 a season ( com=t & sweetness to numb]s ( ! religi\s p2 al?\gh !re 0 n t influ5ce ^u ! congregation :i* 0 common "s mon?s ago4 ,"l's day1 ,june #a4--8,prea*$ bo? =5oon & aft]noon f ,matt4 #aa3bg1 #bh4 ,! pres5ce ( ,god seem$ to be 9 ! assembly2 & numb]s 7 consid]ably melt$ & affect$ "u div9e tru?4 ,!re 0 a desirable appe>ance 9 ! congregation 9 g5]al1 an e>ne/ att5tion & an agreeable t5d]ness2 & x seem$ z if ,god design$ to visit u ) fur!r %[]s ( div9e grace4 ,i !n receiv$ into communion five p]sons2 & 0 n a little refre%$ ) ?is addition made to ! *ur* ( su* z ,i hope w be sav$4 ,i h reason to hope t ,god has lately1 at & s9ce our celebration ( ! ,"l's supp]1 br\ght home to himself sev]al p]sons :o _h long be5 "u spiritual tr\ble & conc]n2 al?\gh !re h be5 few in/ances ( p]sons lately awak5$ out ( a /ate ( security4 ,^? com=t$ ( late seem to be br\ght 91 9 a m sil5t way2 nei!r _! conc]n1 nor consolation be+ s p[]ful & rem>kable z appe>$ among ^? m sudd5ly wr\ght ^u 9 ! beg9n+ ( ?is "w ( grace4 ,june #g4--8;,be+ desir$ by ! ,rev4 ,,william ,,t5n5t to be 8 assi/ant 9 ! adm9i/ration ( ! ,"l's ,supp]1 ,i ?is morn+ rode to ,freehold to r5d] t assi/ance4 ,my p also be+ invit$ to att5d at t solemnity1 !y *e]fully embrac$ ! opportunity1 & ?is day att5d$ ! prep>atory s]vices ) me4 ,"l's day1 ,june #h4--8,mo/ ( my p1 :o _h be5 communicants at ! ,"l's table1 be=e be+ pres5t on ?is occasion1 commun$ ) o!rs 9 ! holy ord9ance1 at ! desire1 & ,i tru/ to ! satisfaction & com=t ( numb]s ( ,god's p1 :o _h long$ to see ?is day1 & ^: he>ts _h rejoic$ 9 ?is "w ( grace among ! ,indians1 :i* prep>$ ! way = :at appe>$ s agreeable at ?is "t4 ,^? ( my p :o commun$1 seem$ 9 g5]al agreeably affect$ at ! ,"l's table1 & "s ( !m consid]ably melt$ ) ! love ( ,*ri/1 al?\gh !y 7 n s rem>kably refre%$ & fea/$ at ?is "t1 z :5 ,i adm9i/]$ ?is ord9ance to !m 9 our own congregation only4 ,"s ( ! by-/&]s 7 affect$ ) see+ ^? :o _h be5 #8ali5s f ! commonweal? ( ,israel1 & /rang]s to ! cov5ant ( promise1' :o ( all m5 _h liv$ #8)\t hope & )\t ,god 9 ! _w1' n[ br\ght ne> to ,god1 z 8 pr(ess+ p1 by a solemn & dev\t att5dance ^u ?is sacr$ ord9ance4 ,z numb]s ( ,god's p 7 refre%$ at ?is sight1 & !reby excit$ to bless ,god = ! enl>gem5t ( 8 k+dom 9 ! _w2 s "s o!rs1 ,i 0 told1 7 awak5$ by x1 appreh5d+ ! dang] !y 7 9 ( be+ !mselves f9ally ca/ out2 :ile !y saw o!rs f ! ea/ & we/ prep>+1 & hopefully prep>$ 9 "s good measure1 to sit d[n 9 ! k+dom ( ,god4 ,at ?is season o!rs ( my p also1 :o 7 n communicants1 7 consid]ably affect$2 convictions 7 reviv$ 9 sev]al in/ances2 & "o1 ! man p>ticul>ly m5tion$ 9 my j\rnal ( ! #f? in/ant1 obta9$ com=t & satisfaction2 & has s9ce giv5 me su* an acc\nt ( 8 spiritual ex]cises1 & ! mann] 9 :i* he obta9$ relief1 z appe>s v hopeful4 ,x seems z if ,he1 :o comm&$ ! light to %9e out ( d>kness1 _h n[ #8%9$ into 8 he>t1 & giv5 him ! light (1' & exp]im5tal #8k ( ! glory ( ,god 9 ! face ( ,jesus ,*ri/4' ,june #i4--8;,a consid]able numb] ( my p met toge!r e>ly 9 a retir$ place 9 ! woods1 & pray$1 sang1 & conv]s$ ( div9e ?+s2 & 7 se5 by "s religi\s p]sons ( ! :ite p to be affect$ & engag$1 & "s ( !m 9 te>s 9 ^! religi\s ex]cises4 8,aft] !y _h att5d$ ! conclud+ ex]cises ( ! ,"l's ,supp] !y return$ home2 _m ( !m rejoic+ = all ! goodness ( ,god :i* !y _h se5 & felt3 s t ?is appe>$ to be a pr(itable z well z com=table season to numb]s ( my congregation4 ,_! be+ pres5t at ?is occasion1 & a numb] ( !m commun+ at ! ,"l's table ) o!r ,*ri/ians1 01 ,i tru/1 = ! honor ( ,god & ! int]e/ ( religion 9 ^! p>ts2 z numb]s1 ,i h reason to ?9k1 7 quick5$ by means ( x4 ,june #ac4--8,prea*$ to my p ^u ! new creature1 f #b ,cor4 #e3ag4 ,! pres5ce ( ,god appe>$ to be 9 ! assembly4 ,x 0 a sweet & agreeable meet+1 :]e9 ! p ( ,god 7 refre%$ & /r5g!n$2 behold+ _! faces 9 ! glass ( ,god's ^w1 & f9d+ 9 !mselves ! m>ks & l9eam5ts ( ! new creature4 ,"s s9n]s "u conc]n 7 also r5ew$ly affect$2 & afre% engag$ = ! secur+ ( _! et]nal int]e/s4 8,?ree ,indians 7 at ?is "t receiv$ into communion4 ,"o ( !m 0 ! v ag$ woman ( ^: ex]cises ,i gave an acc\nt 9 my di>y ( ,dec4 #bf4 ,%e n[ gave me a v punctual1 rational1 & satisfactory acc\nt ( ! rem>kable *ange :i* %e exp]i5c$ "s mon?s aft] ! beg9n+ ( h] conc]n1 :i* ,i mu/ say1 appe>$ to be ! g5u9e op]ations ( ! ,div9e ,_s1 s ,air z ,i am capable ( judg+4 ,al?\gh %e 0 become s *ildi%1 ?r\gh age1 t ,i c\ld d no?+ 9 a way ( que/ion+ h]1 nor sc>cely make h] und]/& any ?+ t ,i ask$ h]2 yet :5 ,i let h] alone to g on ) h] own /ory1 %e c\ld give a v di/9ct & p>ticul> relation ( ! _m & v>i\s ex]cises ( s\l %e _h exp]i5c$2 s deep 7 ! impressions left ^u h] m9d by t influ5ce & ^? ex]cises :i* %e _h exp]i5c$4 ,i h great reason to ?9k t %e is born anew 9 h] old age3 %e be+1 ,i presume1 upw>d ( eighty4 ,june #ai4--8,visit$ my p ) two ( ! ,rev]5d correspond5ts4 ,sp5t "s "t 9 conv]sation ) "s ( !m ^u spiritual ?+s2 & took "s c>e ( _! worldly conc]ns4 8,?is day makes up a complete ye> f ! fir/ "t ( my prea*+ to ^! ,indians 9 ,new-,j]sey4 ,:at amaz+ ?+s has ,god wr\ght1 9 ?is space ( "t1 = ?is poor p6 ,:at a surpris+ *ange appe>s 9 _! temp]s & behavior6 ,h[ are morose & savage ,pagans1 9 ?is %ort p]iod1 trans=m$ into agreeable1 affectionate1 & humble ,*ri/ians6 & _! drunk5 & ,pagan h[l+s turn$ into dev\t & f]v5t praises to ,god6 ,!y #8:o 7 sometimes 9 d>kness are n[ become light 9 ! ,"l4' ,may !y #8walk z *ildr5 ( ! light & ( ! day6' ,& n[ to ,him t is ( p[] to e/abli% !m accord+ to ! gospel1 & ! prea*+ ( ,*ri/--to ,god only wise1 be glory ?r\gh ,jesus ,*ri/1 = ev] & ev]1 ,am540 ,,g5]al ,,rem>ks ,,on ,,! ,,prec$+ ,,n>rative4 8,,at ! close ( ?is ,n>rative ,i w\ld make a few ,,g5]al ,,rem>ks ^u :at1 to me1 appe>s wor?y ( notice1 relat+ to ! cont9u$ "w ( grace among my p4 ,i4 8,i _c b take notice1 t ,i h 9 g5]al1 ev] s9ce my fir/ com+ among ! ,indians 9 ,new-,j]sey1 be5 favor$ ) t assi/ance :i* to me is uncommon1 9 prea*+ ,*ri/ crucifi$1 & mak+ him ! c5tre & m>k to :i* all my disc\rses among !m 7 direct$4 8,x 0 ! pr9cipal scope & drift ( all my disc\rses to ?is p1 = sev]al mon?s toge!r1 7aft] hav+ taught !m some?+ ( ! be+ & p]fections ( ,god1 8 creation ( man 9 a /ate ( rectitude & happ9ess1 & ! obligations mank9d 7 !nce "u to love & honor him17 to lead !m into an acqua9tance ) _! deplorable /ate by nature1 z fall5 creatures2 _! inability to extricate & deliv] !mselves f x2 ! utt] insuffici5cy ( any ext]nal re=mations & am5dm5ts ( life1 or ( any religi\s p]=mances1 ( :i* !y 7 capable1 :ile 9 ?is /ate1 to br+ !m into ! favor ( ,god1 & int]e/ !m 9 8 et]nal m]cy2 !nce to %[ !m _! absolute ne$ ( ,*ri/ to r$eem & save !m f ! mis]y ( _! fall5 /ate2--to op5 8 all-suffici5cy & will+ness to save ! *ief ( s9n]s2--! fre5ess & ri*es ( div9e grace1 propos$ #8)\t money1 & )\t price1' to all t w accept ! (f]2 !reupon to press !m )\t delay to betake !mselves to him1 "u a s5se ( _! mis]y & undone /ate1 = relief & ev]la/+ salvation2--& to %[ !m ! abundant enc\ragem5t ! gospel proposes to ne$y1 p]i%+1 & helpless s9n]s1 9 ord] to engage !m s to d4 ,^! ?+s1 ,i repeat$ly & l>gely insi/$ ^u f "t to "t4 8,i h (t5times rem>k$ ) admiration1 t :atev] subject ,i h be5 treat+ ^u1 aft] hav+ sp5t "t suffici5t to expla9 & illu/rate ! tru?s conta9$ !re91 ,i h be5 naturally & easily l$ to ,*ri/ z ! sub/ance ( e subject4 ,if ,i treat$ on ! be+ & glori\s p]fections ( ,god2 ,i 0 !nce naturally l$ to disc\rse ( ,*ri/1 z ! only 'way to ! ,fa!r4'--,if ,i attempt$ to op5 ! deplorable mis]y ( our fall5 /ate2 x 0 natural f !nce to %[ ! necessity ( ,*ri/ to und]take = u1 to atone = our s9s1 & to r$eem u f ! p[] ( !m4--,if ,i taught ! comm&s ( ,god1 & %[$ our violation ( !m2 ?is br\ght me1 9 ! mo/ easy & natural way1 to speak (1 & recomm5d ! ,"l ,jesus ,*ri/ z "o :o _h #8magnifi$ ! law' :i* we _h brok51 & :o 0 #8become ! end ( x1 = righte\sness1 to e "o t believes4' ,nev] did ,i f9d s mu* fre$om & assi/ance 9 mak+ all ! v>i\s l9es ( my disc\rses meet toge!r1 & c5tre 9 ,*ri/1 z ,i h frequ5tly done among ^! ,indians4 8,sometimes :5 ,i h _h ?\ghts ( (f]+ b a few words ^u "s p>ticul> subject1 & saw no occasion1 nor inde$ mu* room1 = any consid]able enl>gem5t1 !re has appe>$ su* a f\nta9 ( gospel-grace %9+ =? 91 or naturally result+ f a j explication ( x2 & ,*ri/ has seem$ 9 su* a mann] to be po9t$ out z ! sub/ance ( :at ,i 0 consid]+ & expla9+2 t ,i h be5 drawn 9 a way n only easy & natural1 prop] & p]t95t1 b almo/ unavoidable1 to disc\rse ( him1 ei!r 9 reg>d to 8 und]tak+1 inc>nation1 satisfaction1 admirable fitness = ! "w ( man's r$emption1 or ! inf9ite ne$ t s9n]s /& 9 ( an int]e/ 9 him2 :i* has op5$ ! way = a cont9u$ /ra9 ( gospel invitation to p]i%+ s\ls1 to come empty & nak$1 we>y & heavy lad51 & ca/ !mselves ^u him4 8,z ,i h be5 rem>kably influ5c$ & assi/$ to dwell ^u ! ,"l ,jesus ,*ri/1 & ! way ( salvation by him1 9 ! g5]al curr5t ( my disc\rses "h1 & h be51 at times1 surpris+ly furni%$ ) p]t95t matt] relat+ to him1 & ! design ( 8 inc>nation2 s ,i h be5 no less assi/$ (t5times 9 an advantage\s mann] ( op5+ ! my/]ies ( div9e grace1 & repres5t+ ! inf9ite excell5cies1 & #8unse>*able ri*es ( ,*ri/1' z well z ( recomm5d+ him to ! acceptance ( p]i%+ s9n]s4 ,i h frequ5tly be5 enabl$ to repres5t ! div9e glory1 ! inf9ite preci\sness & transc5dant lovel9ess ( ! great ,r$eem]1 ! suitabl5ess ( 8 p]son & pur*ase to supply ! wants1 & answ] ! utmo/ desires ( immortal s\ls2--to op5 ! inf9ite ri*es ( 8 grace1 & ! wond]ful enc\ragem5t propos$ 9 ! gospel to unwor?y1 helpless s9n]s2--to call1 invite1 & besee* !m to come & give up !mselves to him1 & be reconcil$ to ,god ?r\gh him2--to expo/ulate ) !m respect+ _! neglect ( "o s inf9itely lovely1 & freely (f]$2--& ?is 9 su* a mann]1 ) su* fre$om1 p]t95cy1 pa?os1 & application to ! consci5ce1 z1 ,i am sure1 ,i nev] c\ld h made myself ma/] (1 by ! mo/ assidu\s application ( m9d4 ,frequ5tly1 at su* seasons1 ,i h be5 surpris+ly help$ 9 adapt+ my disc\rses to ! capacities ( my p1 & br++ !m d[n into su* easy1 & famili> me?ods ( expression1 z has r5d]$ !m intelligible ev5 to ,pagans4 8,i d n m5tion ^! ?+s z a recomm5dation ( my own p]=mances2 = ,i am sure ,i f\nd1 f "t to "t1 t ,i _h no skill or wisdom = my great "w2 & knew n h[ #8to *oose out acceptable words' prop] to address to poor b5ight$ ,pagans4 ,b ?us ,god 0 pleas$ to help me1 #8n to "k any ?+ among !m1 save ,jesus ,*ri/ & him crucifi$4' ,?us ,i 0 enabl$ to %[ !m _! mis]y )\t him1 & to repres5t 8 complete fitness to r$eem & save !m4 8,?is 0 ! prea*+ ,god made use ( = awak5+ s9n]s1 & ! propagation ( ?is #8"w ( grace among ! ,indians4' ,x 0 rem>kable1 f "t to "t1 t :5 ,i 0 favor$ ) any special fre$om1 9 disc\rs+ ( ! #8ability & will+ness ( ,*ri/ to save s9n]s1' & #8! ne$ 9 :i* !y /ood ( su* a ,savior2' !re 0 !n ! greate/ appe>ance ( div9e p[] 9 awak5+ numb]s ( secure s\ls1 promot+ convictions begun1 & com=t+ ! di/ress$4 8,i h sometimes =m]ly1 9 read+ ! ,apo/le's disc\rse to ,cornelius1 7,acts1 #aj17 wond]$ to see him s quickly introduce ! ,"l ,jesus ,*ri/ into 8 s]mon1 & s entirely dwell ^u him ?r\gh ! :ole ( x1 obs]v+ him 9 ?is po9t v widely to diff] f _m ( our mod]n prea*]s2 b latt]ly ?is has n seem$ /range1 s9ce ,*ri/ has appe>$ to be ! sub/ance ( ! gospel & ! c5tre 9 :i* ! sev]al l9es ( div9e revelation meet4 ,/ill ,i am s5sible t !re are _m ?+s necess>y to be spok5 to p]sons "u ,pagan d>kness1 9 ord] to make way = a prop] introduction ( ! "n ( ,*ri/1 & 8 und]tak+ 9 behalf ( fall5 man4 ,,ii4 8,x is wor?y ( rem>k1 t numb]s ( ^! p are br\ght to a /rict compliance ) ! rules ( morality & sobriety1 & to a consci5ti\s p]=mance ( ! ext]nal duties ( ,*ri/ianity1 by ! int]nal p[] & influ5ce ( div9e tru?--! peculi> doctr9es ( grace ^u _! m9ds2 )\t _! hav+ ^! moral duties frequ5tly repeat$ & inculcat$ ^u !m1 & ! contr>y vices p>ticul>ly expos$ & spok5 aga9/4 ,:at has be5 ! g5]al /ra9 & drift ( my prea*+ among ^! ,indians1 :at 7 ! tru?s ,i pr9cipally insi/$ ^u1 & h[ ,i 0 influ5c$ & enabl$ to dwell f "t to "t1 ^u ! peculi> doctr9es ( grace1 ,i h already /at$4 ,^? doctr9es1 :i* _h ! mo/ direct t5d5cy to humble ! fall5 creature2 to %[ him ! mis]y ( 8 natural /ate2 to br+ him d[n to ! foot ( sov]eign m]cy1 & to exalt ! great ,r$eem]--discov] 8 transc5dant excell5cy & inf9ite preci\sness1 & s recomm5d him to ! s9n]'s acceptance--7 ! subject-matt] ( :at 0 deliv]$ 9 public & private to !m1 & f "t to "t repeat$ & inculcat$4 8,god 0 pleas$ to give ^! div9e tru?s su* a p[]ful influ5ce ^u ! m9ds ( ^! p1 & s to bless !m = ! effectual awak5+ ( numb]s ( !m1 t _! lives 7 quickly re=m$1 )\t my insi/+ ^u ! precepts ( morality1 & sp5d+ "t 9 repeat$ h>angues ^u ext]nal duties4 ,!re 0 inde$ no room = any k9d ( disc\rses b ^? :i* respect$ ! ess5tials ( religion1 & ! exp]im5tal k ( div9e ?+s1 :ile !re 7 s _m inquir+ daily--n h[ !y %\ld regulate _! ext]nal conduct1 = t1 p]sons :o are hone/ly dispos$ to comply ) duty1 :5 kn[n1 may 9 ord9>y cases be easily satisfi$ ab\t1 b--h[ !y %\ld escape f ! wra? !y fe>$1 & felt t !y des]v$1--obta9 an effectual *ange ( he>t1--get an int]e/ 9 ,*ri/1--& come to ! enjoym5t ( et]nal bless$ness8 ,s t my great "w /ill 0 to lead !m into a fur!r view ( _! utt] undon5ess 9 !mselves1 ! total depravity & corruption ( _! he>ts2 t !re 0 no mann] ( goodness 9 !m2 no good dispositions nor desires2 no love to ,god1 nor delight 9 8 comm&s2 b1 on ! contr>y1 hatr$1 enmity1 & all mann] ( wick$ness reign+ 9 !m3--& at ! same "t to op5 to !m ! glori\s & complete rem$y provid$ 9 ,*ri/ = p]i%+ s9n]s1 & (f]$ freely to ^? :o h no goodness ( _! own1 no works ( righte\sness :i* !y h done1 to recomm5d !m to ,god4 8,?is 0 ! cont9u$ /ra9 ( my prea*+2 ?is my great conc]n & con/ant endeavor1 s to enlight5 ! m9d1 z !reby duly to affect ! he>t1 &1 z f> z possible1 give p]sons a s5se & feel+ ( ^! preci\s & important doctr9es ( grace1 at lea/ s f> z means might conduce to x4 ,^! 7 ! doctr9es1 & ?is ! me?od ( prea*+1 :i* 7 bless$ ( ,god = ! awak5+1 & ,i tru/1 ! sav+ conv]sion ( numb]s ( s\ls2 & :i* 7 made ! means ( produc+ a rem>kable re=mation among ! he>]s 9 g5]al4 8,:5 ^! tru?s 7 felt at he>t1 !re 0 n[ no vice unre=m$--no ext]nal duty neglect$4 ,drunk5ness1 ! d>l+ vice1 0 brok5 (f1 & sc>ce an in/ance ( x kn[n among my he>]s = mon?s toge!r4 ,! abusive practice ( husb&s & wives 9 putt+ away ea* o!r1 & tak+ o!rs 9 _! /ead1 0 quickly re=m$2 s t !re are ?ree or f\r c\ples :o h volunt>ily dismiss$ ^? :om !y _h wrongfully tak51 & n[ live toge!r aga9 9 love & peace4 ,! same might be said ( all o!r vici\s practices4 ,! re=mation 0 g5]al2 & all spr++ f ! int]nal influ5ce ( div9e tru? ^u _! he>ts1 & n f any ext]nal re/ra9ts1 or because !y _h he>d ^! vices p>ticul>ly expos$1 & repeat$ly spok5 aga9/4 ,"s ( !m ,i nev] s mu* z m5tion$2 p>ticul>ly t ( ! p>t+ ( m5 & _! wives1 till "s1 hav+ _! consci5ce awak5$ by ,god's ^w1 came1 & ( _! own accord confess$ !mselves guilty 9 t respect4 ,:5 ,i at any "t m5tion$ _! wick$ practices1 & ! s9s !y 7 guilty ( contr>y to ! light ( nature1 x 0 n ) a design1 nor inde$ ) any hope1 ( work+ an effectual re=mation 9 _! ext]nal mann]s by ?is means1 = ,i knew1 t :ile ! tree rema9$ corrupt1 ! fruit w\ld naturally be s4 ,my design 0 to lead !m1 by obs]v+ ! wick$ness ( _! lives1 to a view ( ! corruption ( _! he>ts1 & s to conv9ce !m ( ! necessity ( a r5ovation ( nature1 & to excite !m1 ) ! utmo/ dilig5ce to seek aft] t great *ange1 :i*1 if once obta9$1 ,i 0 s5sible1 w\ld ( c\rse produce a re=mation ( ext]nal mann]s 9 e respect4 8,& z all vice 0 re=m$ ^u _! feel+ ! p[] ( ^! tru?s ^u _! he>ts1 s ! ext]nal duties ( ,*ri/ianity 7 compli$ )1 & consci5ti\sly p]=m$ f ! same int]nal influ5ce2 family pray] set up1 & con/antly ma9ta9$1 unless among a few :o _h m lately come1 & _h felt little ( ?is div9e influ5ce4 ,?is duty 0 con/antly p]=m$1 ev5 9 "s families :]e !re 7 none b females1 & sc>ce a pray]less p]son 0 to be f\nd among ne> an hundr$ ( !m4 ,! ,sabba? 0 s]i\sly & religi\sly obs]v$1 & c>e tak5 by p>5ts to keep _! *ildr5 ord]ly ^u t sacr$ day2 & ?is1 n because ,i _h driv5 !m to ! p]=mance ( ^! duties by frequ5tly inculcat+ !m1 b because !y _h felt ! p[] ( ,god's ^w ^u _! he>ts1--7 made s5sible ( _! s9 & mis]y1 & !nce c\ld n b pray1 & comply ) e ?+ :i* !y knew to be _! duty1 f :at !y felt )9 !mselves4 ,:5 _! he>ts 7 t\*$ ) a s5se ( _! et]nal conc]ns1 !y c\ld pray ) great fre$om1 z well z f]v5cy1 )\t be+ at ! tr\ble fir/ to le>n set =ms = t purpose4 ,"s ( !m1 :o 7 sudd5ly awak5$ at _! fir/ com+ among u1 7 br\ght to pray & cry = m]cy ) ! utmo/ importunity1 )\t ev] be+ in/ruct$ 9 ! duty ( pray]1 or s mu* z once direct$ to a p]=mance ( x4 8,! happy effects ( ^! peculi> doctr9es ( grace ^u ?is p1 %[1 ev5 to demon/ration1 t1 in/ead ( _! op5+ a door to lic5ti\sness1 z _m va9ly imag9e1 & sl&]\sly ins9uate1 !y h a directly contr>y t5d5cy2 s t a close application1 a s5se & feel+ ( !m1 w h ! mo/ p[]ful influ5ce t[>d ! r5ovation1 & effectual re=mation bo? ( he>t & life4 8,happy exp]i5ce1 z well z ! ^w ( ,god & ! example ( ,*ri/ & 8 apo/les1 has taught me1 t ! v me?od ( prea*+ :i* is be/ suit$ to awak5 9 mank9d a s5se & lively appreh5sion ( _! depravity & mis]y 9 a fall5 /ate1--to excite !m s e>ne/ly to seek aft] a *ange ( he>t1 z to fly = refuge to free & sov]eign grace 9 ,*ri/ z ! only hope set be=e !m1--is likely to be mo/ successful 9 ! re=mation ( _! ext]nal conduct4 ,i h f\nd t close addresses1 & solemn applications ( div9e tru? to ! consci5ce1 /rike at ! root ( all vice2 :ile smoo? & plausible h>angues ^u moral virtues & ext]nal duties1 at be/ are l to d no m ?an lop (f ! bran*es ( corruption1 :ile ! root ( all vice rema9s /ill unt\*$4 8,a view ( ! bless$ effect ( hone/ endeavors to br+ home div9e tru?s to ! consci5ce1 & duly to affect ! he>t ) !m1 has (t5 rem9d$ me ( ^? words ( our ,"l1 :i* ,i h ?\ght might be a prop] exhortation = m9i/]s 9 respect to _! treatm5t ( o!rs1 z well z = p]sons 9 g5]al ) reg>d to !mselves4 #8,cleanse fir/ ! inside ( ! cup & platt]1 t ! outside may be clean also4' ,cleanse1 says he1 ! inside t ! outside may be clean4 ,z if he _h said1 ! only effectual way to h ! outside clean1 is to beg9 ) :at is )92 & if ! f\nta9 be purifi$1 ! /reams w naturally be pure4 ,mo/ c]ta9 x is1 if we c a weak5 9 s9n]s a lively s5se ( _! inw>d pollution & depravity--_! ne$ ( a *ange ( he>t--& s engage !m to seek aft] inw>d cleans+1 _! ext]nal defilem5t w naturally be cleans$1 _! vici\s ways ( c\rse be re=m$ & _! conv]sation & behavior become regul>4 8,n[1 al?\gh ,i _c pret5d t ! re=mation among my p does1 9 e in/ance1 spr+ f a sav+ *ange ( he>t2 yet ,i may truly say1 x fl[s f "s he>t-affect+ view & s5se ( div9e tru?s :i* all h _h 9 a great] or less degree4 ,i d n int5d1 by :at ,i h obs]v$ "h1 to repres5t ! prea*+ ( morality & press+ p]sons to ! ext]nal p]=mance ( duty1 to be altoge!r unnecess>y & useless1 especially at times :5 !re is less ( div9e p[] att5d+ ! means ( grace1 :51 = want ( int]nal influ5ces1 !re is ne$ ( ext]nal re/ra9ts4 ,x is d\btless among ! ?+s t ought to be done1 :ile o!rs are n to be left undone4 ,b :at ,i pr9cipally design$ by ?is rem>k1 0 to discov] a pla9 matt] ( fact1 viz4 ,t ! re=mation1 ! sobriety1 & ! ext]nal compliance ) ! rules & duties ( ,*ri/ianity1 appe>+ among my p1 are n ! effect ( any m]e doctr9al in/ruction1 or m]ely rational view ( ! beauty ( morality1 b f ! int]nal p[] & influ5ce :i* ! s\l-humbl+ doctr9es ( grace h _h ^u _! he>ts4 ,,iii4 8,x is rem>kable1 t ,god has s cont9u$ & r5ew$ ! %[]s ( 8 grace "h2 s quickly set up 8 visible k+dom among ^! p2 & s smil$ ^u !m 9 relation to _! acquirem5t ( k1 bo? div9e & human4 ,x is n[ ne>ly a ye> s9ce ! beg9n+ ( ?is graci\s outp\r+ ( ! div9e ,_s among !m2 & al?\gh x has (t5 seem$ to decl9e & abate = "s %ort space ( "t--z may be obs]v$ by sev]al passages ( my ,j\rnal1 :]e ,i h endeavor$ to note ?+s j z f "t to "t !y appe>$ to me--yet ! %[] has seem$ to be r5ew$1 & ! "w ( grace reviv$ aga94 ,a div9e influ5ce seems /ill app>5tly to att5d ! means ( grace1 9 a great] or less degree1 9 mo/ ( our meet+s = religi\s ex]cises2 :]eby religi\s p]sons are refre%$1 /r5g!n$1 & e/abli%$1--convictions reviv$ & promot$ 9 _m in/ances1 & "s few p]sons newly awak5$ f "t to "t4 ,x mu/ be ackn[l$g$1 t = "s "t pa/ !re has1 9 g5]al1 appe>$ a m manife/ decl9e ( ?is "w2 & ! div9e ,_s has seem$1 9 a consid]able measure1 )drawn1 especially ) reg>d to 8 awak5+ influ5ce2 s t ! /rang]s :o come latt]ly1 are n seiz$ ) conc]n z =m]ly2 & "s few :o h be5 mu* affect$ ) div9e tru?s 9 "t pa/1 n[ appe> less conc]n$4 ,yet1 bless$ be ,god1 !re is /ill an appe>ance ( div9e p[] & grace1 a desirable degree ( t5d]ness1 religi\s affection & devotion 9 our assemblies4 8,z ,god has cont9u$ & r5ew$ ! %[]s ( 8 grace among ?is p = "s "t1 s he has ) uncommon quickness set up 8 visible k+dom1 & ga!r$ himself a *ur* 9 ! mid/ ( !m4 ,fifte5 individuals1 s9ce ! conclusion ( my la/ ,j\rnal1 h made a public pr(ession ( _! fai?1 mak+ ?irty-eight )9 ! space ( elev5 mon?s1 all ( :om appe> to h _h a "w ( special grace wr\ght 9 _! he>ts2 ,i mean1 to h _h ! exp]i5ce n only ( ! awak5+1 b1 9 a judgm5t ( *>ity1 ( ! r5ew+ influ5ces ( ! div9e ,_s4 ,!re are _m o!rs "u solemn conc]n = _! s\ls1 & deep convictions ( _! s9 & mis]y1 b :o d n yet give t decisive evid5ce :i* c\ld be desir$1 ( a sav+ *ange4 8,f ! "t :51 z ,i am in=m$1 "s ( !m 7 att5d+ an idolatr\s fea/ & sacrifice 9 honor to devils1 to ! "t :5 !y sat d[n at ! ,"l's table1 ,i tru/ to ! honor ( ,god1 0 n m ?an a full ye>4 ,surely ,*ri/'s little flock "h1 s sudd5ly ga!r$ f among ,pagans1 may ju/ly say1 9 ! language ( ! *ur* ( old1 #8,! ,"l ha? done great ?+s = u1 :]e( we are glad4' 8,mu* ( ! goodness ( ,god has also appe>$ 9 relation to _! acquisition ( k1 bo? 9 religion & 9 ! affairs ( common life4 ,!re has be5 a wond]ful ?ir/ aft] ,*ri/ian k prevail+ among !m 9 g5]al1 & an eag] desire ( be+ in/ruct$ 9 ,*ri/ian doctr9es & mann]s4 ,?is has prompt$ !m to ask _m p]t95t z well z important que/ions2 ! answ]s to :i* h t5d$ mu* to enlight5 _! m9ds & promote _! k 9 div9e ?+s4 ,_m ( ! doctr9es :i* ,i h deliv]$1 !y h qu]i$ ) me ab\t1 9 ord] to ga9 fur!r light & insight into !m2 & h f "t to "t manife/$ a good und]/&+ ( !m1 by _! answ]s to ! que/ions propos$ to !m 9 my cate*etical lectures4 8,!y h likewise qu]i$ ) me respect+ a prop] me?od1 z well z prop] matt] ( pray]1 & expressions suitable to be us$ 9 t religi\s ex]cise2 & h tak5 pa9s 9 ord] to ! p]=mance ( ?is duty ) und]/&+4--,!y h likewise tak5 pa9s1 & appe>$ rem>kably apt 9 le>n+ to s+ psalm-tunes1 & are n[ able to s+ ) a good degree ( dec5cy 9 ! wor%ip ( ,god4--,!y h also acquir$ a consid]able degree ( useful k 9 ! affairs ( common life2 s t !y n[ appe> l rational creatures1 fit = human society1 free ( t savage r\ghness & bruti% /upidity :i* r5d]$ !m v disagreeable 9 _! ,pagan /ate4 8,!y seem ambiti\s ( a ?or\gh acqua9tance ) ! ,engli% language1 & = t end frequ5tly speak x among !mselves4 ,_m ( !m h made good pr(ici5cy 9 acquir+ x1 s9ce my com+ among !m2 s t mo/ ( !m c und]/& a consid]able "p1 & "s ! sub/ance ( my disc\rses1 )\t an ,int]pret]1 be+ us$ to my simple & famili> me?ods ( expression1 ?\gh !y c\ld n well und]/& o!r m9i/]s4 8,z !y are desir\s ( in/ruction1 & surpris+ly apt 9 ! reception ( x1 s div9e ,provid5ce has smil$ ^u !m ) reg>d to ! prop] means 9 ord] to x4 ,! attempts made = e/abli%+ a s*ool among !m h succe$$1 & a k9d ,provid5ce has s5t !m a s*oolma/]1 ( :om ,i may ju/ly say1 ,i "k ( #8no man l m9d$1 :o w naturally c>e = _! /ate4' ,he has g5]ally ?irty or ?irty-five *ildr5 9 8 s*ool2 & :5 he kept an ev5+ s*ool1 z he did :ile ! l5g? ( ! 'ev5+s w\ld admit ( x1 fifte5 or tw5ty gr[n p1 m>ri$ & s+le1 att5d$4 8,! *ildr5 le>n ) surpris+ read9ess2 s t _! ma/] tells me1 he nev] _h an ,engli% s*ool :i* le>n$1 9 g5]al1 s fa/4 ,!re 7 n above two 9 ?irty1 al?\gh "s ( !m 7 v small1 b le>n$ all ! lett]s 9 ! alphabet )9 ?ree days aft] 8 entrance ^u 8 bus9ess2 & sev]al 9 t space ( "t le>n$ to spell consid]ably4 ,"s ( !m1 9 less ?an five mon?s1 h le>n$ to read ) ease 9 ! ,psalt] or ,te/am5t4 8,!y are in/ruct$ twice a week 9 ! ,cate*ism1 on ,w$nesday & ,saturday4 ,"s ( !m1 s9ce ! latt] end ( ,febru>y1 :5 !y began1 h committ$ m ?an half ( x to memory2 & mo/ ( !m h made "s pr(ici5cy 9 x4 8,!y are likewise in/ruct$ 9 ! duty ( secret pray]1 & mo/ ( !m con/antly att5d x night & morn+1 & are v c>eful to in=m _! ma/]1 if !y appreh5d t any ( _! little s*ool-mates neglect t religi\s ex]cise4 ,,iv4 8,x is wor?y to be not$1 to ! praise ( sov]eign grace1 t amid/ s great a "w ( conviction--s mu* conc]n & religi\s affection--!re has be5 no preval5ce1 nor inde$ any consid]able appe>ance ( false religion--heats ( imag9ation1 intemp]ate zeal1 or spiritual pride2 & t !re h be5 v few in/ances ( irregul> & sc&al\s behavior among ^? :o h appe>$ s]i\s4 8,?is "w ( grace has1 9 ! ma91 be5 c>ri$ on ) a surpris+ degree ( purity1 & fre$om f corrupt mixture4 ,_! religi\s conc]n has g5]ally be5 rational & j2 aris+ f a s5se ( _! s9s1 & exposure to ! div9e displeasure on acc\nt ( !m2 z well z _! utt] inability to deliv] !mselves f ! mis]y !y felt & fe>$4 ,if !re has be51 9 any in/ance1 an appe>ance ( conc]n & p]turbation ( m9d1 :5 ! subjects ( x knew n :y2 yet !re has be5 no preval5ce ( any su* ?+2 & inde$ ,i sc>cely "k ( any in/ance ( t nature at all4--,x is v rem>kable1 t1 al?\gh ! conc]n ( _m p]sons "u convictions ( _! p]i%+ /ate has be5 v great & press+1 yet ,i h nev] se5 any ?+ l desp]ation att5d+ x 9 any "o in/ance4 ,!y h _h ! mo/ lively s5se ( _! undon5ess 9 !mselves2 h be5 br\ght to give up all hopes ( deliv]ance f !mselves2 h exp]i5c$ great di/ress & angui% ( s\l2 & yet1 9 ! seasons ( ! greate/ extremity1 !re has be5 no appe>ance ( despair 9 any ( !m1--no?+ t has disc\rag$1 or 9 any wise h9d]$ !m f ! mo/ dilig5t use ( all prop] means = _! conv]sion & salvation4 ,h5ce x is app>5t1 t !re is n t dang] ( p]sons be+ driv5 into despair "u spiritual tr\ble1 unless 9 cases ( deep & habitual melan*oly1 :i* ! _w 9 g5]al is ready to imag9e4 8,! com=t :i* p]sons h obta9$ aft] _! di/resses1 has likewise 9 g5]al appe>$ solid1 well gr\nd$1 & scriptural2 aris+ f a spiritual & sup]natural illum9ation ( m9d1--a view ( div9e ?+s1 9 a measure1 z !y are1--a complac5cy ( s\l 9 ! div9e p]fections1--& a peculi> satisfaction 9 ! way ( salvation by free sov]eign grace 9 ! great ,r$eem]4 8,_! joys h seem$ to rise f a v>iety ( views & consid]ations ( div9e ?+s1 al?\gh = sub/ance ! same4 ,"s1 :o1 "u conviction1 seem$ to h ! h>de/ /ruggles & he>t-ris+s aga9/ ! div9e sov]eignty1 h seem$1 at ! fir/ dawn ( _! com=t1 to rejoice 9 a peculi> mann] 9 t div9e p]fection3--& h be5 delight$ to ?9k t !mselves1 & all ?+s else1 7 9 ! h& ( ,god1 & t he w\ld dispose ( !m #8j z he pleas$4' 8,o!rs1 :o1 j be=e _! reception ( com=t1 h be5 rem>kably oppress$ ) a s5se ( _! undon5ess & pov]ty1 :o h se5 !mselves1 z x 71 fall+ d[n into rem$iless p]dition1 h be5 at fir/ m peculi>ly delight$ ) a view ( ! fre5ess & ri*es ( div9e grace1 & ! (f] ( salvation made to p]i%+ s9n]s #8)\t money & )\t price4' 8,"s h at fir/ appe>$ to rejoice especially 9 ! wisdom ( ,god1 discov]$ 9 ! way ( salvation by ,*ri/2 x !n appe>+ to !m #8a new & liv+ way1' a way ( :i* !y _h nev] ?\ght1 nor _h any j conceptions1 until op5$ to !m by ! special influ5ce ( ! div9e ,_s4 ,"s ( !m1 ^u a lively spiritual view ( ?is way ( salvation1 h wond]$ at _! pa/ folly 9 seek+ salvation 9 o!r ways1 & t !y nev] saw ?is way ( salvation be=e1 :i* n[ appe>$ s pla9 & easy1 z well z excell5t to !m4 8,o!rs1 aga91 h _h a m g5]al view ( ! beauty & excell5cy ( ,*ri/1 & h _h _! s\ls delight$ ) an appreh5sion ( 8 div9e glory1 z unspeakably exce$+ all !y _h ev] conceiv$ be=e2 yet1 )\t s+l+ out any "o ( ! div9e p]fections 9 p>ticul>2 s t1 al?\gh _! com=ts h seem$ to arise f a v>iety ( views & consid]ations ( div9e glories1 /ill !y 7 spiritual & sup]natural views ( !m1 & n gr\ndless fancies1 :i* 7 ! spr+ ( _! joys & com=ts4 8,yet x mu/ be ackn[l$g$ t1 :5 ?is "w became s univ]sal & preval5t1 & ga9$ su* g5]al cr$it & e/eem among ! ,indians t ,satan seem$ to h little advantage ( work+ aga9/ x 9 8 own prop] g>b1 he !n trans=m$ himself #8into an angel ( light1' & made "s vigor\s attempts to introduce turbul5t commotions ( ! passions 9 ! room ( g5u9e convictions ( s91 imag9>y & fanciful notions ( ,*ri/1 z appe>+ to ! m5tal eye 9 a human %ape1 & 9 "s p>ticul> po/ures1 c4 9 ! room ( spiritual & sup]natural discov]ies ( 8 div9e glory & excell5cy1 z well z _m o!r delusions4 ,i h reason to ?9k1 t1 if ^! ?+s _h met ) c\nt5ance & enc\ragem5t1 !re w\ld h be5 a v consid]able h>ve/ ( ?is k9d ( conv]ts "h4 8,spiritual pride also discov]$ itself 9 v>i\s in/ances4 ,"s p]sons1 ^: feel+s _h be5 greatly excit$1 seem$ v desir\s f !nce ( be+ ?\ght truly graci\s2 :o1 :5 ,i c\ld n b express to !m my fe>s respect+ _! spiritual /ate1 discov]$ _! res5tm5ts to a consid]able degree4 ,!re also appe>$ 9 "o or two ( !m1 an unbecom+ ambition ( be+ tea*]s ( o!rs4 ,s t ,satan has be5 a busy adv]s>y "h z well z else:]e4 ,b1 bless$ be ,god1 ?\gh some?+ ( ?is nature has appe>$1 yet no?+ ( x has prevail$1 nor inde$ made any consid]able progress at all4 ,my p are n[ appris$ ( ^! ?+s1 are made acqua9t$1 t ,satan 9 su* a mann] #8trans=m$ himself into an angel ( light1' 9 ! fir/ season ( ! great outp\r+ ( ! div9e ,_s 9 ! days ( ! apo/les2 & t some?+ ( ?is nature1 9 a great] or less degree1 has att5d$ almo/ e revival & rem>kable propagation ( true religion ev] s9ce4 ,!y h le>n$ s to di/+ui% betwe5 ! gold & dross1 t ! cr$it ( ! latt] #8is trodd5 d[n l ! mire ( ! /reets2' &1 z x is natural = ?is k9d ( /uff to die ) its cr$it1 !re is n[ sc>ce any appe>ance ( x among !m4 8,z !re has be5 no preval5ce ( irregul> heats1 imag9>y notions1 spiritual pride1 & satanical delusions among my p2 s !re h be5 v few in/ances ( sc&al\s & irregul> behavior among ^? :o h made a pr(ession1 or ev5 an appe>ance ( s]i\sness4 ,i d n "k ( m ?an ?ree or f\r su* p]sons :o h be5 guilty ( any op5 misconduct1 s9ce _! fir/ acqua9tance ) ,*ri/ianity2 & ,i "k ( no "o :o p]si/s 9 any ?+ ( t nature4 ,p]haps ! rem>kable purity ( ?is "w 9 ! latt] respect1 its fre$om f frequ5t in/ances ( sc&al1 is v mu* ow+ to its purity 9 ! =m] respect1 its fre$om f corrupt mixtures ( spiritual pride1 wild-fire1 & delusion1 :i* naturally lay a f\ndation = sc&al\s practices4 8,may ?is bless$ "w1 9 ! p[] & purity ( x1 prevail among ! poor ,indians "h1 z well z spread else:]e1 till _! remote/ tribes %all see ! salvation ( ,god6 ,am540 ,,*apt] ,,ix4 ,f ! close ( 8 ,public ,j\rnal1 ,june #ai1 #agdf1 to 8 dea?--cont9uance ( labor at ,crossweeksung & ,cranb]ry--j\rney ) six ,*ri/ian ,indians to ! ,susquehanna1 & labors !re--return to ,crossweeksung--compell$ by pro/ration ( heal? to h ! ,indians--conf9em5t by sickness at ,elizabe?t[n--f>ewell visit to ! ,indians--8 bro!r ,john succe$s him z a ,mission>y--arrival among 8 fri5ds 9 ,connecticut--visit to ,presid5t ,edw>ds 9 ,nor?ampton--j\rney to ,bo/on1 :]e he is br\ght ne> to dea?--usefulness 9 ,bo/on--returns to ,nor?ampton--triumphs ( grace 9 8 la/ sickness--dea?4 ,june #ai1 #agdf--,octob] #i1 #agdg4 ,"l's day1 ,june #bi1 #agdf4--8,prea*$ bo? p>ts ( ! day1 f ,john1 #ad3ai4 ,god 0 pleas$ to assi/ me1 to af=d me bo? fre$om & p[]1 especially t[>d ! close ( my disc\rses =5oon & aft]noon4 ,god's p[] appe>$ 9 ! assembly1 9 bo? ex]cises4 ,numb]s ( ,god's p 7 refre%$ & melt$ ) div9e ?+s2 "o or two com=t$1 :o _h be5 long "u di/ress2 convictions1 9 div]s in/ances1 7 p[]fully reviv$2 & "o man 9 ye>s 0 mu* awak5$1 :o _h n long frequ5t$ our meet+1 & appe>$ be=e z /upid z a /ock4 ,god amaz+ly r5ew$ & l5g!n$ out my /r5g?4 ,i 0 s sp5t at noon t ,i c\ld sc>cely walk1 & all my jo9ts trembl$ s t ,i c\ld n sit1 nor s mu* z hold my h& /ill2 & yet ,god /r5g!n$ me to prea* ) p[] 9 ! aft]noon1 al?\gh ,i _h giv5 out ^w to my p1 t ,i did n expect to be able to d x4 ,sp5t "s "t aft]w>d 9 conv]s+1 p>ticul>ly1 ) sev]al p]sons1 ab\t _! spiritual /ate2 & _h "s satisfaction conc]n+ "o or two4 ,pray$ aft]w>d ) a sick *ild1 & gave a ^w ( exhortation4 ,0 assi/$ 9 all my "w4 ,bless$ be ,god6 ,return$ home ) m heal? ?an ,i _h 9 ! morn+1 al?\gh my l95 0 wr++ wet ^u me1 f a little aft] t51 till pa/ five 9 ! aft]noon4 ,my spirits also 7 consid]ably refre%$2 & my s\l rejoic$ 9 hope1 t ,i _h ?r\gh grace done some?+ = ,god4 ,9 ! ev5+ walk$ out1 & enjoy$ a sweet season 9 secret pray] & praise4 ,b ,o ,i f\nd ! tru? ( ! ,psalmi/'s words1 #8,my goodness ext5de? n to !e6' ,i c\ld n make any returns to ,god2 ,i long$ to live only to him1 & to be 9 tune = 8 praise & s]vice = ev]4 ,oh = spirituality & holy f]v5cy1 t ,i might sp5d & be sp5t = ,god to my late/ mom5t4 ,july #aj4--8,sp5t mo/ ( ! day 9 writ+4 ,t[>d night rode to ,mr4 ,t5n5t's2 enjoy$ "s agreeable conv]sation2 w5t home 9 ! ev5+1 9 a solemn1 sweet frame ( m9d2 0 refre%$ 9 secret duties1 long$ to live :olly & only = ,god1 & saw pla9ly !re 0 no?+ 9 ! _w wor?y ( my affection--my he>t 0 dead to all bel[2 yet n ?r\gh dejection1 z at "s times1 b f views ( a bett] inh]itance4 ,july #ab4--8,?is day 0 sp5t 9 fa/+ & pray] by my congregation1 z prep>atory to ! ,"l's supp]4 ,i disc\rs$1 bo? p>ts ( ! day1 f ,rom4 #d3be1 #8,:o 0 deliv]$ = our (f5ces1' c4 ,god gave me "s assi/ance1 & some?+ ( div9e p[] att5d$ ! ^w2 s t ?is 0 an agreeable season4 ,aft]w>d l$ !m to a solemn r5ewal ( _! cov5ant1 & fre% d$ication ( !mselves to ,god4 ,?is 0 a season bo? ( solemnity & sweetness1 & ,god seem$ to be #89 ! mid/ ( u4' ,return$ to my lodg+s 9 ! ev5+1 9 a com=table frame ( m9d4 ,"l's day1 ,july #ac4--8;,9 ! =5oon1 disc\rs$ on ! #8bread ( life1' f ,john1 #f3ce4 ,god gave me "s assi/ance1 9 a "p ( my disc\rse especially2 & !re appe>$ "s t5d] affection 9 ! assembly "u div9e tru?2 my s\l also 0 some:at refre%$4 ,adm9i/]$ ! ,"l's supp] to ?irty-"o ( ! ,indians4 ,god seem$ to be pres5t 9 ?is ord9ance2 ! communicants 7 sweetly melt$ & refre%$4 ,o h[ !y melt$1 ev5 :5 ! elem5ts 7 fir/ uncov]$6 ,!re 0 sc>cely a dry eye among !m1 :5 ,i took (f ! l951 & %[$ !m ! symbols ( ,*ri/'s brok5 body4 ,hav+ re/$ a little1 aft] ! adm9i/ration ( ! ord9ance1 ,i visit$ ! communicants1 & f\nd !m g5]ally 9 a sweet lov+ frame2 n unlike :at appe>$ among !m on ! =m] sacram5tal occasion1 ,april #bg4 ,9 ! aft]noon1 disc\rs$ ^u com+ to ,*ri/1 & ! satisfaction ( ^? :o d s1 f ! same v]se ,i insi/$ on 9 ! =5oon4 ,?is 0 likewise an agreeable season1 "o ( mu* t5d]ness1 affection1 & enl>gem5t 9 div9e s]vice2 & ,god1 ,i am p]suad$1 cr[n$ our assembly ) 8 pres5ce4 ,i return$ home mu* sp5t1 yet rejoic+ 9 ! goodness ( ,god4 ,july #ad4--8,w5t to my p1 & disc\rs$ to !m f ,psalm #aai3ajf1 #8,i h sworn1 & ,i w p]=m x1' c4 ,obs]v$1 7#a47 t all ,god's judgm5ts or comm&m5ts are righte\s4 7#b47 ,t ,god's p h sworn to keep !m2 & ?is !y d especially at ! ,"l's table4 ,!re appe>$ to be a p[]ful div9e influ5ce on ! assembly1 & consid]able melt+ "u ! ^w4 ,aft]w>d ,i l$ !m to a r5ewal ( _! cov5ant be=e ,god1 t !y w\ld wat* ov] !mselves & "o ano!r1 le/ !y %\ld fall into s91 & di%onor ! "n ( ,*ri/4 ,?is transaction 0 att5d$ ) great solemnity2 & ,god seem$ to own x by excit+ 9 !m a fe> & jeal\sy ( !mselves1 le/ !y %\ld s9 aga9/ ,god2 s t ! pres5ce ( ,god seem$ to be among u 9 ?is conclusion ( ! sacram5tal solemnity4 ,july #ba4--8,prea*$ to ! ,indians1 *iefly = ! sake ( "s /rang]s2 propos$ my design ( tak+ a j\rney spe$ily to ! ,susquehanna2 exhort$ my p to pray = me1 t ,god w\ld be ) me 9 t j\rney2 & !n *ose div]s p]sons ( ! congregation to travel ) me4 ,aft]w>d sp5t "s "t 9 disc\rs+ to ! /rang]s1 & 0 some:at enc\rag$ ) !m4 ,took c>e ( my p's secul> bus9ess1 & 0 n a little ex]cis$ ) x4 ,_h "s degree ( composure & com=t 9 secret retirem5t4 ,july #bb4--8,0 9 a deject$ frame mo/ ( ! day2 want$ to we> out life1 & h x at an end2 b _h "s desires ( liv+ to ,god1 & we>+ out life = him4 ,oh t ,i c\ld inde$ d s60 ,july #bi4--8,my m9d 0 *e]ful1 & free f ! melan*oly ) :i* ,i am (t5 ex]cis$2 _h fre$om 9 look+ up to ,god at v>i\s times 9 ! day4 ,9 ! ev5+ ,i enjoy$ a com=table season 9 secret pray]2 0 help$ to plead ) ,god = my own de> p1 t he w\ld c>ry on 8 own bless$ "w among !m2 & assi/$ 9 pray+ = ! div9e pres5ce to att5d me 9 my int5d$ j\rney to ! ,susquehanna4 ,i sc>ce knew h[ to leave ! ?rone ( grace1 & x griev$ me t ,i 0 oblig$ to g to b$2 ,i long$ to d some?+ = ,god1 b knew n h[4 ,bless$ be ,god = ?is fre$om f dejection6 ,july #cj4--8,0 uncommonly com=table1 bo? 9 body & m9d2 9 ! =5oon especially1 my m9d 0 solemn2 ,i 0 assi/$ 9 my "w1 & ,god seem$ to be ne> to me2 s t ! day 0 z com=table z mo/ ,i h enjoy$ = "s "t4 ,9 ! ev5+ 0 favor$ ) assi/ance 9 secret pray]1 & felt mu* z ,i did ! ev5+ be=e4 ,bless$ be ,god = t fre$om ,i !n enjoy$ at ! ?rone ( grace1 = myself1 my p1 & my de> fri5ds6 ,augu/ #a4--8;,9 ! ev5+ enjoy$ a sweet season 9 secret pray]2 cl\ds ( d>kness & p]plex+ c>e 7 sweetly scatt]$1 & no?+ anxi\s rema9$4 ,o h[ s]5e 0 my m9d at ?is season6 h[ free f t di/ract+ conc]n ,i h (t5 felt6 #8,?y w be done1' 0 a petition sweet to my s\l2 & if ,god _h bid me *oose = myself 9 any affair1 ,i %\ld h *os5 r to h ref]r$ ! *oice to him2 = ,i saw he 0 inf9itely wise1 & c\ld n d any ?+ amiss1 z ,i 0 9 dang] ( do+4 ,0 assi/$ 9 pray] = my de> flock1 t ,god w\ld promote 8 own "w among !m1 & g ) me 9 my int5d$ j\rney to ! ,susquehanna2 0 help$ to rememb] my de> fri5ds 9 ,new-,engl&1 & my de> bre?r5 9 ! m9i/ry4 ,i f\nd en\gh 9 ! sweet duty ( pray] to h engag$ me to cont9ue 9 x ! :ole night1 w\ld my bodily /ate h admitt$ ( x4 ,o h[ sweet x is1 to be enabl$ he>tily to say1 #8,"l1 n my w1 b ?9e be done4' ,augu/ #b4--8,ne> night1 prea*$ f ,matt4 #aa3bi4 #8,take my yoke ^u y1' c4 ,0 consid]ably help$1 & ! pres5ce ( ,god seem$ to be some:at rem>kably 9 ! assembly2 div9e tru? made p[]ful impressions1 bo? ^u sa9ts & s9n]s4 ,bless$ be ,god = su* a revival among u6 ,9 ! ev5+ 0 v we>y1 b f\nd my spirits support$ & refre%$4 ,augu/ #g4--8,rode to my h\se :]e ,i sp5t ! la/ w9t]1 9 ord] to br+ "s ?+s ,i ne$$ = my ,susquehanna j\rney2 0 refre%$ to see t place1 :i* ,god s m>vell\sly visit$ ) ! %[]s ( 8 grace4 ,o h[ amaz+ did ! p[] ( ,god (t5 appe> !re6 #8,bless ! ,"l1 ,o my s\l1 & =get n all 8 b5efits4' ,augu/ #i4--8;,9 ! aft]noon visit$ my p2 set _! affairs 9 ord] z mu* z possible1 & contriv$ = !m ! managem5t ( _! worldly bus9ess2 disc\rs$ to !m 9 a solemn mann]1 & conclud$ ) pray]4 ,0 compos$ & com=table 9 ! ev5+1 & some:at f]v5t 9 secret pray]2 _h "s s5se & view ( ! et]nal _w2 & f\nd a s]5ity ( m9d4 ,o t ,i c\ld magnify ! ,"l = any fre$om :i* he af=ds me 9 pray]6 ,"l's day1 ,aug4 #aj4--8;,disc\rs$ to my p bo? p>ts ( ! day1 f ,acts1 #c3ai1 #8,rep5t ye1 !re=e1' c4 ,9 disc\rs+ ( rep5tance1 9 ! =5oon1 ,god help$ me1 s t my disc\rse 0 se>*+2 "s 7 9 te>s1 bo? ( ! ,indians & :ite p1 & ! ^w ( ,god 0 att5d$ ) "s p[]4 ,9 ! int]mission ,i 0 engag$ 9 conv]s+ on _! spiritual /ate1 "o ( :om _h v rec5tly f\nd com=t1 aft] spiritual tr\ble & di/ress4 ,9 ! aft]noon 0 some:at assi/$ aga91 ?\gh weak & we>y4 ,?ree p]sons ?is day made a public pr(ession ( _! fai?4 ,0 9 a com=table frame 9 ! ev5+1 & enjoy$ "s satisfaction 9 secret pray]4 ,i h r>ely felt myself s full ( t5d]ness z ?is day4 ,augu/ #aa4--8;,be+ ab\t to set out on a j\rney to ! ,susquehanna ! next day1 ) leave ( ,provid5ce1 ,i sp5t "s "t ?is day 9 pray] ) my p1 t ,god w\ld bless & succe$ my int5d$ j\rney1 t he w\ld s5d =? 8 bless$ ,_s ) 8 ^w1 & set up 8 k+dom among ! poor ,indians 9 ! wild]ness4 ,:ile ,i 0 op5+ & apply+ "p ( ! #aaj? & #aaa? ,psalms1 ! p[] ( ,god seem$ to desc5d on ! assembly 9 "s measure2 & :ile ,i 0 mak+ ! fir/ pray]1 numb]s 7 melt$1 & ,i f\nd "s affectionate enl>gem5t ( s\l myself4 ,prea*$ f ,acts1 #d3ca1 #8,& :5 !y _h pray$1 ! place 0 %ak51' c4 ,god help$ me1 & my int]pret] also2 !re 0 a %ak+ & melt+ among u2 & sev]al1 ,i d\bt n1 7 9 "s measure #8fill$ ) ! ,holy ,gho/4' ,aft]w>d1 ,mr4 ,macnight pray$2 & ,i !n op5$ ! two la/ /anzas ( ! #gb;d ,psalm2 at :i* "t ,god 0 pres5t ) u2 especially :ile ,i insi/$ ^u ! promise ( all nations bless+ ! great ,r$eem]4 ,my s\l 0 refre%$1 to ?9k t ?is day1 ?is bless$1 glori\s season1 %\ld surely come2 & ,i tru/ numb]s ( my de> p 7 also refre%$4 ,aft]w>d pray$2 _h "s fre$om1 b 0 almo/ sp5t2 !n walk$ out1 & left my p to c>ry on religi\s ex]cises among !mselves4 ,!y pray$ repeat$ly1 & sung1 :ile ,i re/$ & refre%$ myself4 ,aft]w>d w5t to ! meet+1 pray$ )1 & dismiss$ ! assembly4 ,bless$ be ,god1 ?is has be5 a day ( grace4 ,!re 7 _m te>s & affectionate sobs among u ?is day4 ,9 ! ev5+ my s\l 0 refre%$ 9 pray]2 enjoy$ lib]ty at ! ?rone ( grace1 9 pray+ = my p & fri5ds1 & ! *ur* ( ,god 9 g5]al4 ',bless ! ,"l1 ,o my s\l4'0 ,! next day he set out on 8 j\rney t[>d ! ,susquehanna1 & six ( 8 ,*ri/ian ,indians ) him1 :om he _h *os5 out ( 8 congregation1 z ^? he judg$ mo/ fit to assi/ him 9 ! bus9ess ^u :i* he 0 go+4 ,he took 8 way ?r\gh ,philadelphia2 int5d+ to g to ! ,susquehanna1 f> d[n1 :]e x is settl$ by ! :ite p1 bel[ ! c\ntry inhabit$ by ! ,indians2 & s to travel up ! riv] to ! ,indian habitations4 ,= al?\gh ?is 0 mu* f>!r1 yet h]eby he avoid$ ! m\nta9s & hide\s wild]ness t mu/ be cross$ 9 ! ne>] way2 :i* 9 "t pa/ he f\nd to be extremely difficult & fatigu+4 ,aug4 #ai4--8,lodg$ by ! side ( ! ,susquehanna4 ,0 weak & disord]$ bo? ?is & ! prec$+ day1 & f\nd my spirits consid]ably damp$1 meet+ ) none t ,i ?\ght godly p4 ,aug4 #bj4--8;,hav+ la9 9 a cold sweat all night1 ,i c\gh$ up mu* bloody matt] ?is morn+1 & 0 "u great disord] ( body1 & n a little melan*oly2 b :at gave me "s enc\ragem5t1 01 ,i _h a secret hope t ,i might spe$ily get a dismission f e>?1 & all its toils & sorr[s4 ,rode ?is day to "o ,*amb]s'1 ^u ! ,susquehanna1 & !re lodg$4 ,0 mu* afflict$ 9 ! ev5+ ) an ungodly crew1 dr9k+1 swe>+1 c4 ,o :at a hell w\ld x be1 to be numb]$ ) ! ungodly6 ,enjoy$ "s agreeable conv]sation ) a travell]1 :o seem$ to h "s reli% ( true religion4 ,aug4 #ba4--8,rode up ! riv] ab\t fifte5 miles1 & !re lodg$1 9 a family :i* appe>$ q de/itute ( ,god4 ,labor$ to disc\rse ) ! man ab\t ! life ( religion1 b f\nd him v artful 9 evad+ su* conv]sation4 ,o :at a dea? x is to "s1 to he> ( ! ?+s ( ,god6 ,0 out ( my elem5t2 b 0 n s deject$ z at "s times4 ,aug4 #bb4--8;,cont9u$ my c\rse up ! riv]2 my p n[ be+ ) me1 :o be=e 7 p>t$ f me2 travell$ above all ! ,engli% settlem5ts2 at night lodg$ 9 ! op5 woods1 & slept ) m com=t ?an :ile among an ungodly company ( :ite p4 ,enjoy$ "s lib]ty 9 secret pray] ?is ev5+2 & 0 help$ to rememb] de> fri5ds1 z well z my de> flock1 & ! *ur* ( ,god 9 g5]al4 ,aug4 #bc4--8;,arriv$ at ! ,indian t[n1 call$ ,%aumok+1 ne> night2 0 n s deject$ z =m]ly1 b yet some:at ex]cis$4 ,felt compos$ 9 ! ev5+1 & enjoy$ "s fre$om 9 leav+ my all ) ,god4 ,"l's day1 ,aug4 #bd4--8,t[>d noon1 visit$ "s ( ! ,delaw>es1 & conv]s$ ) !m ab\t ,*ri/ianity4 ,9 ! aft]noon disc\rs$ to ! ,k+1 & o!rs1 ^u div9e ?+s2 :o seem$ dispos$ to he>4 ,sp5t mo/ ( ! day 9 ^! ex]cises4 ,9 ! ev5+ enjoy$ "s com=t & satisfaction2 & especially _h "s sweetness 9 secret pray]4 ,?is duty 0 made s agreeable to me1 t ,i lov$ to walk abroad1 & repeat$ly engage 9 x4 ,o h[ com=table is a little glimpse ( ,god6 ,aug4 #be4--8,sp5t mo/ ( ! day 9 writ+4 ,s5t out my p t 7 ) me1 to talk ) ! ,indians1 & contract a fri5d%ip & famili>ity ) !m1 t ,i might h a bett] opportunity ( treat+ ) !m ab\t ,*ri/ianity4 ,"s good seem$ to be done by _! visit ?is day1 _m appe>$ will+ to he>k5 to ,*ri/ianity4 ,my spirits 7 a little refre%$ ?is ev5+1 & ,i f\nd "s lib]ty & satisfaction 9 pray]4 ,aug4 #bf4--8;,ab\t noon1 disc\rs$ to a consid]able numb] ( ,indians4 ,god help$ me1 ,i am p]suad$2 = ,i 0 enabl$ to speak ) mu* pla9ness1 & "s w>m? & p[]2 & ! disc\rse _h impression ^u "s1 & made !m appe> v s]i\s4 ,i ?\ght ?+s n[ appe>$ z enc\rag+ z !y did at ,crossweeks4 ,at ! "t ( my fir/ visit to ^? ,indians1 ,i 0 a little enc\rag$2 ,i press$ ?+s ) all my might1 & call$ out my p1 :o 7 !n pres5t1 to give 9 _! te/imony = ,god2 :i* !y did4 ,t[>d night1 0 refre%$2 _h a he>t to pray = ! sett+ up ( ,god's k+dom "h1 z well z = my de> congregation bel[1 & my de> fri5ds else:]e4 ,aug4 #bh4--8;,9 ! =5oon1 ,i 0 "u great conc]n ( m9d ab\t my "w4 ,0 visit$ by "s :o desir$ to he> me prea*2 disc\rs$ to !m 9 ! aft]noon ) "s f]v5cy1 & labor$ to p]suade !m to turn to ,god4 ,0 full ( conc]n = ! k+dom ( ,*ri/1 & f\nd "s enl>gem5t ( s\l 9 pray]1 bo? 9 secret & 9 my family4 ,sc>ce ev] saw m cle>ly1 ?an ?is day1 t x is ,god's "w to conv]t s\ls1 & especially poor ,hea!ns4 ,i knew ,i c\ld n t\* !m2 ,i saw ,i c\ld only speak to dry bones1 b c\ld give !m no s5se ( :at ,i said4 ,my eyes 7 up to ,god = help3 ,i c\ld say ! "w 0 82 & if done1 ! glory w\ld be 84 ,"l's day1 ,aug4 #ca4--8,sp5t mu* "t1 9 ! morn+1 9 secret duties2 f\nd a weight ^u my spirits1 & c\ld n b cry to ,god ) conc]n & engagem5t ( s\l4 ,sp5t "s "t also 9 read+ & exp\nd+ ,god's ^w to my de> family :i* 0 ) me1 z well z 9 s++ & pray] ) !m4 ,aft]w>ds spake ! ^w ( ,god to "s few ( ! ,susquehanna ,indians4 ,9 ! aft]noon1 felt v weak & feeble4 ,ne> night 0 some:at refre%$ 9 m9d1 ) "s views ( ?+s relat+ to my great "w4 ,o h[ heavy is my "w1 :5 fai? _c take hold ( an almighty arm = ! p]=mance ( x6 ,_m times h ,i be5 ready to s9k 9 ?is case4 ,bless$ be ,god1 t ,i may repair to a full f\nta96 ,sept4 #a4--8,set out on a j\rney t[>d a place call$ ,! great ,isl&1 ab\t fifty miles di/ant f ,%aumok+1 on ! nor?-we/]n bran* ( ! ,susquehanna4 ,travell$ "s "p ( ! way1 & at night lodg$ 9 ! woods4 ,0 exce$+ly feeble ?is day1 & sweat mu* ! night foll[+4 ,sept4 #b4--8,rode =w>d1 b no fa/] ?an my p w5t on foot4 ,0 v weak1 on ?is z well z ! prec$+ days4 ,i 0 s feeble & fa9t1 t ,i fe>$ x w\ld kill me to lie out 9 ! op5 air2 & "s ( our company be+ p>t$ f u1 s t we _h n[ no axe ) u1 ,i _h no way b to climb into a "y p9e tree1 & ) my knife to lop ! bran*es1 & s make a %elt] f ! dew4 ,b ! ev5+ be+ cl\dy1 ) a prospect ( ra91 ,i 0 /ill "u fe>s ( be+ extremely expos$3 sweat mu*1 s t my l95 0 almo/ wr++ wet all night4 ,i sc>cely ev] 0 m weak & we>y ?an ?is ev5+1 :5 ,i 0 able to sit up at all4 ,?is 0 a melan*oly situation2 b ,i endeavor$ to quiet myself ) consid]ations ( ! possibility ( my be+ 9 mu* worse circum/ances among/ enemies1 c4 ,sept4 #c4--8,rode to ! ,delaw>e-t[n2 f\nd _m dr9k+ & drunk54 ,disc\rs$ ) "s ( ! ,indians ab\t ,*ri/ianity2 obs]v$ my int]pret] mu* engag$1 & assi/$ 9 8 "w2 a few p]sons seem$ to he> ) great e>ne/ness & engagem5t ( s\l4 ,ab\t noon1 rode to a small t[n ( ,%auwaunoes1 ab\t eight miles di/ant2 sp5t an h\r or two !re1 & return$ to ! ,delaw>e-t[n1 & lodg$ !re4 ,0 sc>ce ev] m conf\nd$ ) a s5se ( my own unfruitfulness & unfitness = my "w ?an n[4 ,o :at a dead1 he>tless1 b>r51 unpr(itable wret* did ,i n[ see myself to be6 ,my spirits 7 s l[1 & my bodily /r5g? s wa/$1 t ,i c\ld d no?+ at all4 ,at l5g?1 be+ mu* ov]done1 lay d[n on a buffalo-sk92 b sweat mu* ! :ole night4 ,sept4 #d4--8;,disc\rs$ ) ! ,indians1 9 ! morn+1 ab\t ,*ri/ianity2 my ,int]pret]1 aft]w>d1 c>ry+ on ! disc\rse to a consid]able l5g?4 ,"s few appe>$ well dispos$1 & some:at affect$4 ,left ?is place1 & return$ t[>d ,%aumok+2 & at night lodg$ 9 ! place :]e ,i lodg$ ! ,monday night be=e3 0 9 v uncom=table circum/ances 9 ! ev5+1 my p be+ late1 & n com+ to me till pa/ t5 at night2 s t ,i _h no fire to dress any victuals1 or to keep me w>m1 or keep (f wild bea/s2 & ,i 0 sc>ce ev] m weak & exhau/$4 ,h[ev]1 ,i lay d[n & slept be=e my p came up1 expect+ no?+ else b to sp5d ! :ole night alone1 & )\t fire4 ,sept4 #e4--8,0 exce$+ weak1 s t ,i c\ld sc>cely ride2 x seem$ sometimes z if ,i mu/ fall f my horse1 & lie 9 ! op5 woods3 h[ev]1 got to ,%aumok+ t[>d night3 felt some:at ( a _s ( ?ankfulness1 t ,god _h s f> return$ me3 0 refre%$ to see "o ( my ,*ri/ians1 :om ,i left "h 9 my late excursion4 ,sept4 #f4--8,sp5t ! day 9 a v weak /ate2 c\gh+ & spitt+ blood1 & hav+ little appetite = any food ,i _h ) me2 0 able to d v little1 except disc\rse a :ile ( div9e ?+s to my own p1 & to "s few ,i met )4 ,_h1 by ?is "t1 v little life or he>t to speak = ,god1 ?r\gh feebl5ess ( body4 ,0 sc>cely ev] m a%am$ & conf\nd$ 9 myself ?an n[4 ,i 0 s5sible t !re 7 numb]s ( ,god's p :o knew ,i 0 !n out ^u a design1 or at lea/ ! pret5ce1 ( do+ some?+ = ,god1 & 9 8 cause1 among ! poor ,indians2 & !y 7 ready to suppose t ,i 0 f]v5t 9 _s2 b ,o ! he>tless frame ( my m9d fill$ me ) confusion6 ,o1 me?\ght1 if ,god's p knew me z ,god kn[s1 !y w\ld n ?9k s highly ( my zeal & resolution = ,god z p]haps n[ !y d6 ,i c\ld n b desire !y %\ld see h[ he>tless & irresolute ,i 01 t !y might be undeceiv$1 & #8n ?9k ( me above :at !y ought to ?9k4' ,& yet ,i ?\ght1 if !y saw ! utmo/ ( my unfai?fulness1 ! smallness ( my c\rage & resolution = ,god1 !y w\ld be ready to %ut me out ( _! doors1 z unwor?y ( ! company or fri5d%ip ( ,*ri/ians4 ,"l's day1 ,sept4 #g4--8,0 mu* 9 ! same weak /ate ( body1 & afflict$ frame ( m9d1 z 9 ! prec$+ day3 my s\l 0 griev$1 & m\rn$ t ,i c\ld d no?+ = ,god4 ,read & exp\nd$ "s "p ( ,god's ^w to my own de> family1 & sp5t "s "t 9 pray] ) !m2 disc\rs$ also a little to ! ,pagans2 b sp5t ! ,sabba? ) a little com=t4 ,sept4 #h4--8,sp5t ! =5oon among ! ,indians2 9 ! aft]noon1 left ,%aumok+1 & return$ d[n ! riv] a few miles4 ,_h propos$ to t>ry a consid]able "t long] among ! ,indians ^u ! ,susquehanna1 b 0 h9d]$ f pursu+ my purpose by ! sickness t prevail$ !re1 ! feeble /ate ( my own p t 7 ) me1 & especially my own extraord9>y weakness1 hav+ be5 ex]cis$ ) great nocturnal sweats1 & a c\gh+ up ( blood1 almo/ ! :ole ( ! j\rney4 ,i 0 a great "p ( ! "t s feeble & fa9t1 t x seem$ z ?\gh ,i nev] %\ld be able to rea* home2 & at ! same "t v de/itute ( ! com=ts1 & ev5 ! necess>ies ( life2 at lea/1 :at 0 necess>y = "o 9 s weak a /ate4 ,9 ?is j\rney ,i sometimes 0 enabl$ to speak ! ^w ( ,god ) "s p[]1 & div9e tru? made "s impression on ^? :o he>d me2 s t sev]al1 bo? m5 & wom51 old & "y1 seem$ to cleave to u1 & be well dispos$ t[>d ,*ri/ianity2 b o!rs mock$ & %\t$1 :i* damp$ ^? :o be=e seem$ fri5dly1 at lea/ "s ( !m4 ,yet ,god1 at times1 0 evid5tly pres5t1 assi/+ me1 my ,int]pret]1 & o!r de> fri5ds :o 7 ) me4 ,god gave sometimes a good degree ( fre$om 9 pray] = ! +a!r+ ( s\ls !re2 & ,i c\ld n b ent]ta9 a /rong hope1 t ! j\rney w\ld n be :olly fruitless4 ,:e!r ! issue ( x w\ld be ! sett+ up ( ,*ri/'s k+dom !re1 or only ! draw+ ( "s few p]sons d[n to my congregation 9 ,new-,j]sey2 or :e!r !y 7 n[ only prep>+ = "s f>!r attempts t might be made among !m1 ,i did n det]m9e2 b ,i 0 p]suad$ ! j\rney w\ld n be lo/4 ,bless$ be ,god1 t ,i _h any enc\ragem5t & hope4 ,sept4 #i4--8,rode d[n ! riv] ne> ?irty miles4 ,0 extremely weak1 mu* fatigu$1 & wet ) a ?und] /orm4 ,disc\rs$ ) "s w>m? & clos5ess to "s poor ignorant s\ls1 on ! life & p[] ( religion3 :at 71 & :at 7 n ! evid5ces ( x4 ,!y seem$ mu* a/oni%$ :5 !y saw my ,indians ask a bless+ & give ?anks at d9n]1 conclud+ t a v high evid5ce ( grace 9 !m2 b 7 equally a/oni%$ :5 ,i insi/$ t nei!r t1 nor yet secret pray]1 0 any sure evid5ce ( grace4 ,o ! ignorance ( ! _w6 ,h[ are "s empty outw>d =ms1 t may all be entirely selfi%1 mi/ak5 = true religion1 infallible evid5ces ( x6 ,! ,"l pity a delud$ _w6 ,sept4 #aa4--8,rode homew>d2 b 0 v weak1 & sometimes sc>ce able to ride4 ,_h a v importunate invitation to prea* at a meet+-h\se ,i came by1 ! p be+ !n ga!r$1 b c\ld n by reason ( weakness4 ,0 resign$ & compos$ "u my weakness2 b 0 mu* ex]cis$ ) conc]n = my companions 9 travel1 :om ,i _h left ) mu* regret1 "s lame1 & "s sick4 ,sept4 #bj4--8;,arriv$ among my own p1 7ne> ,cranb]ry17 j at night3 f\nd !m pray+ toge!r2 w5t 91 & gave !m "s acc\nt ( ,god's deal+s ) me & my companions 9 ! j\rney2 :i* seem$ affect+ to !m4 ,i !n pray$ ) !m1 & ?\ght ! div9e pres5ce 0 among u2 sev]al 7 melt$ into te>s1 & seem$ to h a s5se ( div9e ?+s4 ,be+ v weak1 ,i 0 oblig$ soon to repair to my lodg+s1 & felt mu* worn out 9 ! ev5+4 ,?us ,god has c>ri$ me ?r\gh ! fatigues & p]ils ( ano!r j\rney to ! ,susquehanna1 & return$ me aga9 9 safety1 ?\gh "u a great degree ( bodily indisposition4 ,o t my s\l 7 truly ?ankful = r5ew$ in/ances ( m]cy6 ,_m h>d%ips & di/resses ,i endur$ 9 ?is j\rney2 b ! ,"l support$ me "u !m all40 ,hi!rto ,,bra9]d _h kept a con/ant di>y1 giv+ an acc\nt ( :at pass$ f day to day1 ) v little int]ruption2 b h5ce=w>d 8 di>y is v mu* int]rupt$ by 8 illness2 "u :i* he 0 (t5 br\ght s l[1 z ei!r n to be capable ( writ+1 or n well able to be> ! burd5 ( a c>e s con/ant z 0 requisite to recollect e ev5+ :at _h pass$ 9 ! day1 & dige/ x1 & put on pap] an ord]ly acc\nt ( x4 ,h[ev]1 8 di>y 0 n :olly neglect$2 b he took c>e1 f "t to "t1 to take "s notice 9 x ( ! mo/ mat]ial ?+s conc]n+ himself & ! /ate ( 8 m9d1 ev5 till )9 a few days ( 8 dea?4 ,"l's day1 ,sept4 #ba1 #agdf4--8;,i 0 s weak t ,i c\ld n prea*1 nor pret5d to ride ov] to my p 9 ! =5oon4 ,9 ! aft]noon rode out2 sat 9 my *air1 & disc\rs$ to !m f ,rom4 #ad3g1 #h4 ,i 0 /r5g!n$ & help$ 9 my disc\rse1 & !re appe>$ some?+ agreeable 9 ! assembly4 ,i return$ to my lodg+s extremely tir$1 b ?ankful t ,i _h be5 enabl$ to speak a ^w to my poor p1 f :om ,i _h be5 s long abs5t4 ,0 enabl$ to sleep v little ?is night1 ?r\gh we>9ess & pa94 ,o h[ bless$ %\ld ,i be1 if ! little ,i d 7 all done ) "r views6 ,o t1 ':e!r ,i live1 ,i might live to ! ,"l2 or :e!r ,i die1 ,i might die unto ! ,"l2 t1 :e!r liv+ or dy+1 ,i might be ! ,"l's6' ,sept4 #bg4--8,sp5t ?is day1 z well z ! :ole week pa/1 "u a great degree ( bodily weakness1 ex]cis$ ) a viol5t c\gh & a consid]able fev]4 ,i _h no appetite = any k9d ( food1 c\ld n reta9 x on my /oma*1 & frequ5tly _h little re/ 9 my b$1 ow+ to pa9s 9 my brea/ & back4 ,i 0 able1 h[ev]1 to ride ov] to my p1 ab\t two miles1 e day1 & take "s c>e ( ^? :o 7 !n at "w ^u a small h\se = me to reside 9 among ! ,indians4,h ,i 0 sometimes sc>ce able to walk1 & nev] able to sit up ! :ole day1 ?r\gh ! week4 ,0 calm & compos$1 & b little ex]cis$ ) melan*oly1 z 9 =m] seasons ( weakness4 ,:e!r ,i %\ld ev] recov] or no1 seem$ v d\btful2 b ?is 0 _m times a com=t to me1 t life & dea? did n dep5d ^u my *oice4 ,i 0 pleas$ to ?9k1 t ,he :o is inf9itely wise1 _h ! det]m9ation ( ?is matt]2 & t ,i _h no tr\ble to consid] & weigh ?+s ^u all sides1 9 ord] to make ! *oice :e!r ,i %\ld live or die4 ,?us my "t 0 consum$2 ,i _h little /r5g? to pray1 none to write or read1 & sc>ce any to m$itate2 b1 ?r\gh div9e goodness1 ,i c\ld ) great composure look dea? 9 ! face1 & frequ5tly ) s5sible joy4 ,o h[ bless$ x is to be habitually prep>$ = dea?6 ,footnote ,h3 ,?is 0 ! f\r? h\se he built = 8 resid5ce among ! ,indians4 ,beside t at ,kaunaumeek1 & t at ! ,=ks ( ,delaw>e1 & ano!r at ,crossweeksung1 he built "o n[ at ,cranb]ry4 ,"l's day1 ,sept4 #bh4--8,rode to my p1 &1 ?\gh "u mu* weakness1 attempt$ to prea* f #b ,cor4 #ac3e4 ,disc\rs$ ab\t half an h\r1 at :i* season div9e p[] seem$ to att5d ! ^w2 b be+ extremely weak1 ,i 0 oblig$ to desi/2 & aft] a turn ( fa9tness1 ) mu* difficulty rode to my lodg+s1 :]e1 betak+ myself to my b$1 ,i lay 9 a burn+ fev]1 & almo/ deliri\s = sev]al h\rs1 till1 t[>d morn+1 my fev] w5t (f ) a viol5t sweat4 ,i h (t5 be5 fev]i% & unable to re/ quietly aft] prea*+2 b ?is 0 ! mo/ sev]e1 di/ress+ turn1 t ev] prea*+ br\ght ^u me4 ,yet ,i felt p]fectly at re/ 9 my own m9d1 because ,i _h made my utmo/ attempts to speak = ,god1 & knew ,i c\ld d no m4 ,oct4 #d4--8,sp5t ! =m] "p ( ?is week "u a great degree ( infirmity & disord]1 z ,i _h done sev]al weeks be=e2 0 able1 h[ev]1 to ride a little e day1 al?\gh unable to sit up half ! day1 till ,?ursday4 ,took "s c>e daily ( "s p]sons at "w ^u my h\se4 ,on ,friday aft]noon f\nd myself wond]fully reviv$ & /r5g!n$4 ,hav+ "s "t be=e giv5 notice to my p1 & ^? ( !m at ! ,=ks ( ,delaw>e 9 p>ticul>1 t ,i design$1 ) ! leave ( ,provid5ce1 to adm9i/] ! ,"l's supp] ^u ! fir/ ,sabba? 9 ,octob]1 on ,friday aft]noon ,i prea*$ prep>atory to ! ord9ance1 f #b ,cor4 #ac3e2 f9i%+ :at ,i _h propos$ to (f] ^u ! subject ! ,sabba? be=e4 ,! s]mon 0 bless$ ( ,god to ! /irr+ up religi\s affection & a _s ( devotion 9 8 p1 & greatly affect$ "o :o _h backslidd5 f ,god1 :i* caus$ him to judge & condemn himself4 ,i 0 surpris+ly /r5g!n$ 9 my "w :ile ,i 0 speak+2 b 0 oblig$ imm$iately aft] to repair to b$1 be+ n[ remov$ into my own h\se among ! ,indians4 ,sp5t "s "t 9 conv]s+ ) my p ab\t div9e ?+s z ,i lay ^u my b$1 & f\nd my s\l refre%$1 ?\gh my body 0 weak4--,?is be+ ,saturday1 ,i disc\rs$ p>ticul>ly ) div]s ( ! communicants2 & ?is aft]noon prea*$ f ,ze*4 #ab3aj4 ,!re seem$ to be a t5d] melt+ & he>ty m\rn+ = s91 9 numb]s 9 ! congregation4 ,my s\l 0 9 a com=table frame1 & ,i enjoy$ fre$om & assi/ance 9 public s]vice2 0 myself1 z well z mo/ ( ! congregation1 mu* affect$ ) ! humble confession & app>5t brok5-he>t$ness ( ! =em5tion$ backslid]1 & c\ld n b rejoice t ,god _h giv5 him su* a s5se ( 8 s9 & unwor?9ess4 ,0 extremely tir$ 9 ! ev5+1 b lay on my b$1 & disc\rs$ to my p4 ,"l's day1 ,oct4 #e4--8,0 /ill v weak2 & 9 ! morn+ consid]ably afraid ,i %\ld n be able to g ?r\gh ! "w ( ! day2 hav+ mu* to d1 bo? 9 private & public4 ,disc\rs$ be=e ! adm9i/ration ( ! ,"l's supp]1 f ,john1 #a3bi1 #8,behold ! ,lamb ( ,god1 t take? away ! s9s ( ! _w4' ,:]e ,i consid]$ 7#a47 9 :at respects ,*ri/ is call$ ! #8,lamb ( ,god2' & obs]v$ t he is s call$1 f ! purity & innoc5cy ( 8 nature--f 8 meekness & pati5ce "u suff]+s--f 8 be+ t atonem5t :i* 0 po9t$ out 9 ! sacrifice ( lambs1 & 9 p>ticul> by ! pas*al lamb4 7#b47 ,consid]$ h[ & 9 :at s5se he #8takes away ! s9 ( ! _w2' & obs]v$1 t ! means & mann] 9 & by :i* he takes away ! s9s ( m51 0 8 #8giv+ himself = !m1' do+ & suff]+ 9 _! room & /ead1 c4 ,& he is said to take away ! s9 ( ! _w1 n because all ! _w %all actually be r$eem$ f s9 by him1 b because he has done & suff]$ suffici5t to answ] = ! s9s ( ! _w1 & s to r$eem all mank9d2--he actually does take away ! s9s ( ! elect _w4 ,& 7#c47 consid]$ h[ we are to behold him1 9 ord] to h our s9s tak5 away4 ,n ) our bodily eyes2 nor by imag9+ him on ! cross1 c42 b by a spiritual view ( 8 glory & goodness1 engag+ ! s\l to rely on him1 c4--,! div9e pres5ce att5d$ ?is disc\rse2 & ! assembly 0 consid]ably melt$ ) div9e tru?4 ,aft] s]mon1 two made a public pr(ession1 & ,i adm9i/]$ ! ,"l's supp] to ne> =ty communicants ( ! ,indians1 besides div]s de> ,*ri/ians ( ! :ite p4 ,x seem$ to be a season ( div9e p[] & grace2 & numb]s seem$ to rejoice 9 ,god4 ,o ! sweet union & h>mony !n appe>+ among ! religi\s p6 ,my s\l 0 refre%$1 & my religi\s fri5ds ( ! :ite p ) me4 ,aft] ! ord9ance1 c\ld sc>cely get home1 ?\gh x 0 n m ?an tw5ty rods2 b 0 support$ & l$ by my fri5ds1 & laid on my b$2 :]e ,i lay 9 pa9 till "s "t 9 ! ev5+2 & !n 0 able to sit up & disc\rse ) fri5ds4 ,o h[ 0 ?is day sp5t 9 pray]s & praises among my de> p6 ,"o might he> !m1 all ! morn+ be=e public wor%ip1 & 9 ! ev5+1 till ne> midnight1 pray+ & s++ praises to ,god1 9 "o or o!r ( _! h\ses4 ,my s\l 0 refre%$1 ?\gh my body 0 weak4 ,oct4 #aa4--8,t[>d night 0 seiz$ ) an ague1 :i* 0 foll[$ ) a h>d fev] & consid]able pa92 0 treat$ ) great k9dness2 & 0 a%am$ to see s mu* conc]n ab\t s unwor?y a creature z ,i knew myself to be4 ,0 9 a com=table frame ( m9d1 :olly submissive1 ) reg>d to life or dea?4 ,x 0 inde$ a peculi> satisfaction to me1 to ?9k t x 0 n my conc]n or bus9ess to det]m9e :e!r ,i %\ld live or die4 ,i likewise felt peculi>ly satisfi$1 :ile "u ?is uncommon degree ( disord]2 be+ n[ fully conv9c$ ( my be+ really weak1 & unable to p]=m my "w4 ,:]eas1 at o!r times1 my m9d 0 p]plex$ ) fe>s t ,i 0 a misimprov] ( "t1 by conceiv+ ,i 0 sick1 :5 ,i 0 n 9 reality s4 ,o h[ preci\s is "t6 ,& h[ guilty x makes me feel1 :5 ,i ?9k t ,i h trifl$ away & misimprov$ x or neglect$ to fill up ea* "p ( x ) duty1 to ! utmo/ ( my ability & capacity6 ,"l's day1 ,oct4 #ai4--8,0 sc>cely able to d any ?+ at all 9 ! week pa/1 except t on ,?ursday ,i rode out ab\t f\r miles2 at :i* "t ,i took cold4 ,z ,i 0 able to d little or no?+1 s ,i enjoy$ n mu* spirituality1 or lively religi\s affection2 ?\gh at "s times ,i long$ mu* to be m fruitful & full ( heav5ly affection2 & 0 griev$ to see ! h\rs slide away1 :ile ,i c\ld d no?+ = ,god4--,0 able ?is week to att5d public wor%ip4 ,0 compos$ & com=table1 will+ ei!r to die or live2 b f\nd x h>d to be reconcil$ to ! ?\ghts ( liv+ useless4 ,oh t ,i might nev] live to be a burd5 to ,god's creation2 b t ,i might be all[$ to repair home1 :5 my soj\rn+ "w is done60 ,?is week1 he w5t back to 8 ,indians at ,cranb]ry1 to take "s c>e ( _! spiritual & temporal conc]ns2 & 0 mu* sp5t ) rid+1 ?\gh he rode b a little way 9 a day4 ,oct4 #bc4--8,w5t to my own h\se1 & set ?+s 9 ord]4 ,0 v weak1 & some:at melan*oly2 labor$ to d some?+1 b _h no /r5g?2 & 0 =c$ to lie d[n on my b$1 v solit>y4 ,oct4 #bd4--8,sp5t ! day 9 ov]see+ & direct+ my p1 ab\t m5d+ _! f5ce & secur+ _! :eat4 ,f\nd t all _! conc]ns ( a secul> nature dep5d$ ^u me4 ,0 some:at refre%$ 9 ! ev5+1 hav+ be5 able to d some?+ valuable 9 ! day-"t4 ,o h[ x pa9s me to see "t pass away1 :5 ,i c d no?+ to any purpose6 ,"l's day1 ,oct4 #bf4--8;,9 ! morn+ 0 exce$+ly weak4 ,sp5t ! day1 till ne> night1 9 pa91 to see my poor p w&]+ #8z %eep n hav+ a %eph]d1' wait+ & hop+ to see me able to prea* to !m be=e night4 ,x c\ld n b di/ress me to see !m 9 ?is case1 & to f9d myself unable to attempt any ?+ = _! spiritual b5efit4 ,b t[>d night1 f9d+ myself a little bett]1 ,i call$ !m toge!r to my h\se1 & sat d[n1 & read & exp\nd$ ,mat!w1 #e3a-af4 ,?is disc\rse1 ?\gh deliv]$ 9 mu* weakness1 0 att5d$ ) p[] to _m ( ! he>]s2 especially :at 0 spok5 ^u ! la/ ( ^! v]ses2 :]e ,i insi/$ on ! inf9ite wrong done to religion1 by hav+ our light become d>kness1 in/ead ( %9+ be=e m54 ,_m 9 ! congregation 7 n[ deeply affect$ ) a s5se ( _! defici5cy ) respect to a spiritual conv]sation :i* might recomm5d religion to o!rs1 & a _s ( conc]n & wat*fulness seem$ to be excit$ 9 !m4 ,"o1 9 p>ticul>1 :o _h fall5 9 ! s9 ( drunk5ness "s "t be=e1 0 n[ deeply conv9c$ ( 8 s91 & ! great di%onor done to religion by 8 misconduct1 & discov]$ a great degree ( grief & conc]n on t acc\nt4 ,my s\l 0 refre%$ to see ?is2 & ?\gh ,i _h no /r5g? to speak s mu* z ,i w\ld h done1 b 0 oblig$ to lie d[n on ! b$1 yet ,i rejoic$ to see su* an humble melt+ 9 ! congregation1 & t div9e tru?s1 ?\gh fa9tly deliv]$1 7 att5d$ ) s mu* efficacy ^u ! auditory4 ,oct4 #bg4--8,sp5t ! day 9 ov]see+ & direct+ ! ,indians ab\t m5d+ ! f5ce r\nd _! :eat3 0 able to walk ) !m1 & contrive _! bus9ess1 all ! =5oon4 ,9 ! aft]noon1 0 visit$ by two de> fri5ds1 & sp5t "s "t 9 conv]sation ) !m4 ,t[>d night ,i 0 able to walk out1 & take c>e ( ! ,indians aga94 ,9 ! ev5+1 enjoy$ a v peaceful frame4 ,oct4 #bh4--8,rode to ,pr9ceton 9 a v weak /ate1 _h su* a viol5t fev] by ! way1 t ,i 0 =c$ to alight at a fri5d's h\se1 & lie d[n = "s "t4 ,ne> night1 0 visit$ by ,mr4 ,treat1 ,mr4 ,beaty & 8 wife1 & ano!r fri5d4 ,my spirits 7 refre%$ to see !m2 b ,i 0 surpris$1 & ev5 a%am$1 t !y _h tak5 s mu* pa9s z to ride ?irty or =ty miles to see me4 ,0 able to sit up mo/ ( ! ev5+2 & sp5t ! "t 9 a v com=table mann] ) my fri5ds4 ,oct4 #bi4--8,rode ab\t t5 miles ) my fri5ds :o came ye/]day to see me2 & !n p>t$ ) !m all b "o1 :o /ay$ on purpose to keep me company1 & *e] my spirits4 ,lords day1 ,nov4 #b4--8,0 unable to prea*1 & sc>cely able to sit up ! :ole day4 ,0 griev$1 & almo/ sunk1 to see my poor p de/itute ( ! means ( grace2 especially z !y c\ld n read1 & s 7 "u great disadvantages = sp5d+ ! ,sabba? com=tably4 ,o1 me?\ght1 ,i c\ld be cont5t$ to be sick1 if my poor flock _h a fai?ful pa/or to fe$ !m ) spiritual k6 ,a view ( _! want ( ?is 0 m afflictive to me ?an all my bodily illness4 ,nov4 #c4--8;,be+ n[ 9 s weak & l[ a /ate t ,i 0 utt]ly incapable ( p]=m+ my "w1 & hav+ little hope ( recov]y1 unless by mu* rid+1 ,i ?\ght x my duty to take a j\rney into ,new-,engl&1 & to div]t myself among my fri5ds1 :om ,i _h n n[ se5 = a long "t4 ,accord+ly ,i took leave ( my congregation ?is day4 ,be=e ,i left my p1 ,i visit$ !m all 9 _! respective h\ses1 & disc\rs$ to ea* "o1 z ,i ?\ght mo/ prop] & suitable = _! circum/ances1 & f\nd great fre$om 9 s do+4 ,i sc>cely left "o h\se b "s 7 9 te>s2 & _m 7 n only affect$ ) my be+ ab\t to leave !m1 b ) ! solemn addresses ,i made !m ^u div9e ?+s2 = ,i 0 help$ to be f]v5t 9 _s :ile ,i disc\rs$ to !m4 ,:5 ,i _h ?us gone ?r\gh my congregation1 :i* took me mo/ ( ! day1 & _h tak5 leave ( !m1 & ( ! s*ool1 ,i left home1 & rode ab\t two miles1 to ! h\se :]e ,i liv$ 9 ! summ] pa/1 & !re lodg$4 ,0 refre%$ ?is ev5+1 because ,i _h left my congregation s well dispos$ & affect$1 & _h be5 s mu* assi/$ 9 mak+ my f>ewell addresses to !m4 ,nov4 #e4--8,rode to ,elizabe?t[n2 int5d+1 z soon z possible1 to prosecute my j\rney into ,new-,engl&2 b 01 9 an h\r or two aft] my arrival1 tak5 mu* worse4 ,= ne> a week ,i 0 conf9$ to my *amb]1 & mo/ ( ! "t to my b$2 & !n s f> reviv$ z to be able to walk ab\t ! h\se2 b 0 /ill conf9$ )9 doors4 8,9 ! beg9n+ ( ?is extraord9>y turn ( disord] aft] my com+ to ,elizabe?t[n1 ,i 0 enabl$1 ?r\gh m]cy1 to ma9ta9 a calm1 compos$1 & pati5t _s1 z ,i _h be5 be=e f ! beg9n+ ( my weakness4 ,aft] ,i _h be5 9 ,elizabe?t[n ab\t a =tnight1 & _h s f> recov]$ t ,i 0 able to walk ab\t ! h\se1 ^u a day ( ?anksgiv+ kept 9 ?is place1 ,i 0 enabl$ to recal ! m]cies ( ,god 9 su* a mann] z greatly affect$ me1 & fill$ me ) ?ankfulness & praise4 ,especially my s\l prais$ ,god = 8 "w ( grace among ! ,indians1 & ! enl>gem5t ( 8 de> k+dom4 ,my s\l bless$ ,god = :at he is 9 himself1 & ador$ him1 t he ev] w\ld display himself to creatures4 ,i rejoic$ t he 0 ,god1 & long$ t all %\ld "k x1 & feel x1 & rejoice 9 x4 #8,"l1 glorify ?yself1' 0 ! desire & cry ( my s\l4 ,o t all p might love & praise ! bless$ ,god2 t he might h all possible honor & glory f ! intellig5t _w6 8,aft] ?is com=table ?anksgiv+ season1 ,i frequ5tly enjoy$ fre$om1 enl>gem5t1 & engag$ness ( s\l 9 pray]2 & 0 enabl$ to int]c$e ) ,god = my de> congregation1 v (t5 = e family1 & e p]son 9 p>ticul>4 ,x 0 (t5 a great com=t to me1 t ,i c\ld pray he>tily to ,god = ^? to :om ,i c\ld n speak1 & :om ,i 0 n all[$ to see4 ,b1 at o!r times1 my spirits 7 s l[1 & my bodily vigor s mu* wa/$1 t ,i _h sc>ce any affections at all4 8,9 ,decemb]1 ,i _h reviv$ s f> z to be able to walk abroad & visit my fri5ds1 & seem$ to be ga9+ heal?1 9 ! ma91 until ,"l's day1 ,decemb] #ba1 :5 ,i att5d$ public wor%ip1 & labor$ mu*1 at ! ,"l's table1 to br+ =? a c]ta9 corruption1 & h x sla91 z be+ an enemy to ,god & my own s\l2 & c\ld n b hope t ,i _h ga9$ "s /r5g? aga9/ ?is1 z well z o!r corruptions2 & felt "s brok5ness ( he>t = my s94 8,aft] ?is1 hav+ p]haps tak5 "s cold1 ,i began to decl9e z to bodily heal?2 & cont9u$ to d s till ! latt] end ( ,janu>y1 #agdg4 ,hav+ a viol5t c\gh1 a consid]able fev]1 an a/hmatic disord]1 & no appetite = any mann] ( food1 nor any p[] ( dige/ion1 ,i 0 r$uc$ to s l[ a /ate1 t my fri5ds1 ,i believe1 g5]ally despair$ ( my life2 & "s ( !m1 = a consid]able "t1 ?\ght ,i c\ld sc>ce live a day4 ,i c\ld !n ?9k ( no?+ ) any application ( m9d1 & seem$ to be 9 a great measure void ( all affection1 & 0 ex]cis$ ) great temptations2 b yet 0 n1 ord9>ily1 afraid ( dea?4 ,"l's day1 ,feb4 #a4--8,?\gh 9 a v weak & l[ /ate1 ,i enjoy$ a consid]able degree ( com=t & sweetness 9 div9e ?+s2 & 0 enabl$ to plead & use argum5ts ) ,god 9 pray]1 ,i ?9k1 ) a *ild-l _s4 ,t passage ( scripture occurr$ to my m9d1 & gave me great assi/ance1 #8,if ye1 be+ evil1 "k h[ to give good gifts to y\r *ildr51 h[ mu* m w y\r heav5ly ,fa!r give ! ,holy ,_s to !m t ask him8' ,?is text ,i 0 help$ to plead1 & insi/ ^u2 & saw ! div9e fai?fulness engag$ = deal+ ) me bett] ?an any e>?ly p>5t c d ) 8 *ild4 ,?is season s refre%$ my s\l1 t my body seem$ also to be a ga9] by x4 ,f ?is "t ,i began gradually to am5d4 ,z ,i recov]$ "s /r5g?1 vigor1 & _s1 ,i f\nd at times "s fre$om & life 9 ! ex]cises ( devotion1 & "s long+s aft] spirituality & a life ( usefulness to ! int]e/s ( ! great ,r$eem]4 ,at o!r times1 ,i 0 awfully b>r5 & lifeless1 & out ( frame = ! ?+s ( ,god2 s t ,i 0 ready (t5 to cry out1 #8,o t x 7 ) me z 9 mon?s pa/6' ,o t ,god _h tak5 me away 9 ! mid/ ( my usefulness1 ) a sudd5 /roke1 t ,i might n h be5 "u a necessity ( trifl+ away "t 9 div]sions6 ,o t ,i _h nev] liv$ to sp5d s mu* preci\s "t 9 s poor a mann]1 & to s little purpose6 ,?us ,i (t5 reflect$1 0 griev$1 a%am$1 & ev5 conf\nd$1 sunk1 & disc\rag$4 ,feb4 #bd4--8;,i 0 able to ride z f> z ,new>k1 7hav+ be5 conf9$ 9 ,elizabe?t[n almo/ f\r mon?s17 & ! next day return$ to ,elizabe?t[n4 ,my spirits 7 some:at refre%$ ) ! ride1 ?\gh my body 0 we>y4 ,feb4 #bh4--8,0 visit$ by an ,indian ( my own congregation1 :o br\ght me lett]s1 & good news ( ! sob] & good behavior ( my p 9 g5]al4 ,?is refre%$ my s\l4 ,i c\ld n b retire & bless ,god = 8 goodness2 & f\nd1 ,i tru/1 a truly ?ankful frame ( _s1 t ,god seem$ to be build+ up t congregation = himself4 ,m>* #d4--8;,i met ) repro( f a fri5d1 :i*1 al?\gh ,i ?\ght ,i did n des]ve x f him1 yet 01 ,i tru/1 bless$ ( ,god to make me m t5d]ly afraid ( s91 m jeal\s ov] myself1 & m conc]n$ to keep bo? he>t & life pure & unblameable4 ,x likewise caus$ me to reflect on my pa/ deadness & want ( spirituality1 & to abhor myself1 & look on myself z mo/ unwor?y4 ,?is frame ( m9d cont9u$ ! next day2 & = sev]al days aft]1 ,i griev$ to ?9k t 9 my necess>y div]sions ,i _h n ma9ta9$ m s]i\sness1 solemnity1 & heav5ly affection & conv]sation4 ,?us my spirits 7 (t5 depress$ & sunk2 & yet1 ,i tru/1 t repro( 0 made to be b5eficial to me4 8,m>* #aa1 be+ kept 9 ,elizabe?t[n z a day ( fa/+ & pray]1 ,i 0 able to att5d public wor%ip2 :i* 0 ! fir/ "t ,i _h be5 able s to d s9ce ,decemb] #ba4 ,o h[ mu* weakness & di/ress did ,god c>ry me ?r\gh 9 ?is space ( "t6 ,b #8hav+ obta9$ help f him1' ,i yet live4 ,o t ,i c\ld live m to 8 glory6 ,"l's day1 ,m>* #ae4--8,0 able aga9 to att5d public wor%ip1 & felt "s e>ne/ desires ( be+ re/or$ to ! m9i/]ial "w3 felt1 ,i ?9k1 "s _s & life to speak = ,god4 ,m>* #ah4--8,rode out ) a design to visit my p1 & ! next day arriv$ among !m2 b 0 "u great dejection 9 my j\rney4 8,on ,friday morn+ ,i rose e>ly1 walk$ ab\t among my p1 enquir$ into _! /ate & conc]ns1 & f\nd an additional weight & burd5 on my spirits1 ^u he>+ "s ?+s disagreeable4 ,i endeavor$ to g to ,god ) my di/resses1 & made "s k9d ( lam5table compla9t1 & 9 a brok5 mann] spread my difficulties be=e ,god2 b not)/&+1 my m9d cont9u$ v gloomy4 ,ab\t t5 o'clock ,i call$ my p toge!r1 & aft] hav+ expla9$ & sung a psalm1 ,i pray$ ) !m4 ,!re 0 consid]able affection among !m2 ,i d\bt n1 9 "s in/ances1 t :i* 0 m ?an m]ely natural40 ,?is 0 ! la/ int]view :i* he ev] _h ) 8 p4 ,ab\t elev5 o'clock ! same day he left !m1 & ! next day came to ,elizabe?t[n4 ,m>* #bh4--8,0 tak5 ?is morn+ ) viol5t grip+ pa9s4 ,^! pa9s 7 extreme & con/ant = sev]al h\rs2 s t x seem$ impossible = me1 )\t a miracle1 to live tw5ty-f\r h\rs 9 su* di/ress4 ,i lay conf9$ to my b$ ! :ole day1 & 9 di/ress+ pa9 all ! =m] "p ( x2 b x pleas$ ,god to bless means = ! abatem5t ( my di/ress4 ,0 exce$+ly weak5$ by ?is pa91 & cont9u$ s = sev]al days foll[+2 be+ ex]cis$ ) a fev]1 c\gh1 & nocturnal sweats4 ,9 ?is di/ress$ case1 s long z my head 0 free ( vapory confusions1 dea? appe>$ agreeable to me4 ,i look$ on x z ! end ( toils1 & an entrance into a place #8:]e ! we>y are at re/2' & ?9k ,i _h "s reli% = ! ent]ta9m5ts ( ! heav5ly /ate2 s t by ^! ,i 0 allur$ & drawn1 z well z driv5 by ! fatigues ( life4 ,o h[ happy x is to be drawn by desires ( a /ate ( p]fect hol9ess6 ,april #d4--8,0 sunk & deject$1 v re/less & uneasy1 by reason ( ! misimprovem5t ( "t2 & yet knew n :at to d4 ,i long$ to sp5d "t 9 fa/+ & pray]1 t ,i might be deliv]$ f indol5ce & coldness 9 ! ?+s ( ,god2 b1 alas1 ,i _h n bodily /r5g? = ^! ex]cises6 ,o h[ bless$ a ?+ x is to enjoy peace ( consci5ce6 b h[ dreadful is a want ( inw>d peace & composure ( s\l6 ,x is impossible1 ,i f9d1 to enjoy ?is happ9ess )\t r$eem+ "t1 & ma9ta9+ a spiritual frame ( m9d4 ,"l's day1 ,april #e4--8;,x griev$ me to f9d myself s inconceivably b>r54 ,my s\l ?ir/$ = grace2 b1 alas1 h[ f> 0 ,i f obta9+ :at appe>$ to me s exce$+ excell5t6 ,i 0 ready to despair ( ev] be+ a holy creature1 & yet my s\l 0 desir\s ( #8foll[+ h>d aft] ,god2' b nev] did ,i see myself s f> f #8hav+ appreh5d$1 or be+ already p]fect1' z at ?is "t4 ,! ,"l's supp] be+ ?is day adm9i/]$1 ,i att5d$ ! ord9ance2 & ?\gh ,i saw 9 myself a dreadful empt9ess & want ( grace1 & saw myself z x 7 at an inf9ite di/ance f t purity :i* becomes ! gospel1 yet at ! communion1 especially dur+ ! di/ribution ( ! bread1 ,i enjoy$ "s w>m? ( affection1 & felt a t5d] love to ! bre?r52 &1 ,i ?9k1 to ! glori\s ,r$eem]1 ! fir/-born among !m4 ,i endeavor$ !n to br+ =? m9e & 8 #8enemies1' & #8slay !m be=e him2' & f\nd great fre$om 9 begg+ deliv]ance f ?is spiritual dea?1 z well z 9 ask+ div9e favors = my fri5ds & congregation1 & ! *ur* ( ,*ri/ 9 g5]al4 ,april #aj4--8,?is day my bro!r ,john arriv$ at ,elizabe?t[n4 ,sp5t "s "t 9 conv]sation ) him2 b 0 extremely weak40 ,?is bro!r _h be5 s5t = by ! ,correspond5ts1 to take c>e ( & in/ruct ,bra9]d's congregation ( ,indians2 he be+ oblig$ by 8 illness to be abs5t f !m4 ,he cont9u$ to take c>e ( !m till ,bra9]d's dea?1 & 0 soon aft] orda9$ 8 successor 9 8 mission1 & to ! *>ge ( 8 congregation4 ,april #ag4--8;,9 ! ev5+1 c\ld n b ?9k t ,god help$ me to #8draw ne> to ! ?rone ( grace1' ?\gh mo/ unwor?y1 & gave me a s5se ( 8 favor2 :i* af=d$ me inexpressible support & enc\ragem5t4 ,?\gh ,i sc>cely d>$ to hope t ! m]cy 0 real1 x appe>$ s great2 yet c\ld n b rejoice t ev] ,god %\ld discov] 8 reconcil$ face to su* a vile s9n]4 ,%ame & confusion1 at times1 cov]$ me2 & !n hope1 & joy1 & admiration ( div9e goodness ga9$ ! asc5dancy4 ,sometimes ,i c\ld n b admire ! div9e goodness1 t ! ,"l _h n let me fall into all ! grosse/ & vile/ acts ( s94 ,april #bj4--8,0 9 a v disord]$ /ate1 & kept my b$ mo/ ( ! day4 ,i enjoy$ a little m com=t ?an 9 sev]al ( ! prec$+ days4 ,?is day ,i arriv$ at ! age ( tw5ty-n9e ye>s4 ,april #ba4--8;,i set out on my j\rney = ,new ,engl&1 9 ord] 7if x might be ! w ( ,god7 to recov] my heal? by rid+40 ,?is prov$ 8 f9al dep>ture f ,new-,j]sey4 ,he travell$ sl[ly1 & arriv$ among 8 fri5ds at ,ea/-,haddam1 ab\t ! beg9n+ ( ,may4 ,!re is v little acc\nt 9 8 di>y1 ( ! "t t pass$ f 8 sett+ out on 8 j\rney to ,may #aj4 ,he speaks ( 8 sometimes f9d+ 8 he>t rejoic+ 9 ! glori\s p]fections ( ,god1 & long+ to live to him2 b compla9s ( ! unfix$ness ( 8 ?\ghts1 & _! be+ easily div]t$ f div9e subjects1 & cries out ( 8 leanness1 z te/ify+ aga9/ him1 9 ! l\de/ mann]4 ,conc]n+ ^? div]sions :i* he 0 oblig$ to use = 8 heal?1 he says1 t he sometimes f\nd he c\ld use div]sions ) 8s+l5ess ( he>t10 aim+ at ! glory ( ,god2 b t he also f\nd !re 0 a necessity ( great c>e & wat*fulness1 le/ he %\ld lose t spiritual temp] ( m9d 9 8 div]sions1 & le/ !y %\ld deg5]ate into :at 0 m]ely selfi%1 )\t any supreme aim at ! glory ( ,god 9 !m4 ,"l's day1 ,may #aj4--8;,i c\ld n b feel "s measure ( gratitude to ,god at ?is "t1 t he _h always dispos$ me1 9 my m9i/ry1 to insi/ on ! great doctr9es ( reg5]ation1 ! new creature1 fai? 9 ,*ri/1 progressive sanctification1 supreme love to ,god1 liv+ entirely to ! glory ( ,god1 be+ n our own1 & ! l4 ,god ?us help$ me to see1 9 ! sure/ mann]1 f "t to "t1 t ^!1 & ! l doctr9es necess>ily connect$ ) !m1 are ! only f\ndation ( safety & salvation = p]i%+ s9n]s & t ^? div9e dispositions :i* are consonant h]eto1 are t hol9ess1 #8)\t :i* no man %all see ! ,"l4' ,! ex]cise ( ^! ,godlike temp]s--:]e9 ! s\l acts 9 a k9d ( conc]t ) ,god1 & w\ld be & d e ?+ t is pleas+ to him--,i saw1 w\ld /& by ! s\l 9 a dy+ h\r2 = ,god mu/1 ,i ?9k1 d5y himself1 if he ca/ away 8 own image1 ev5 ! s\l t is "o 9 desires ) himself4 ,"l's day1 ,may #ag4--8,sp5t ! =5oon at home1 be+ unable to att5d public wor%ip4 ,at ?is "t1 ,god gave me su* an affect+ s5se ( my own vil5ess1 & ! exce$+ s9fulness ( my he>t1 t !re seem$ to be no?+ b s9 & corruption )9 me4 #8,innum]able evils compass$ me ab\t2' my want ( spirituality & holy liv+1 my neglect ( ,god1 & liv+ to myself4 ,all ! abom9ations ( my he>t & life seem$ to be op5 to my view2 & ,i _h no?+ to say1 b1 #8,god be m]ciful to me a s9n]4' ,t[>d noon1 ,i saw t ! grace ( ,god 9 ,*ri/ is inf9itely free t[>d s9n]s1 su* s9n]s z ,i 04 ,i also saw t ,god is ! supreme good2 t 9 8 pres5ce is life2 & ,i began to long to die1 t ,i might be ) him1 9 a /ate ( fre$om f all s94 ,o h[ a small glimpse ( 8 excell5cy refre%$ my s\l6 ,o h[ wor?y is ! bless$ ,god to be lov$1 ador$1 & delight$ 91 = himself1 = 8 own div9e excell5cies6 8,?\gh ,i felt mu* dulness1 & want ( a _s ( pray] ?is week1 yet ,i _h "s glimpses ( ! excell5cy ( div9e ?+s2 & especially "o morn+1 9 secret m$itation & pray]1 ! excell5cy & beauty ( hol9ess1 z a lik5ess to ! glori\s ,god1 0 s discov]$ to me1 t ,i began to long e>ne/ly to be 9 t _w :]e hol9ess dwells 9 p]fection4 ,i seem$ to long = ?is p]fect hol9ess1 n s mu* = ! sake ( my own happ9ess1 al?\gh ,i saw cle>ly t ?is 0 ! greate/1 yea1 ! only happ9ess ( ! s\l1 z t ,i might please ,god1 live entirely to him1 & glorify him to ! utmo/ /ret* ( my rational p[]s & capacities4 ,"l's day1 ,may #bd4--87;,at ,long-,mead[1 9 ,massa*usetts47 ,c\ld n b ?9k1 z ,i h (t5 rem>k$ to o!rs1 t mu* m ( true religion consi/s 9 deep humility1 brok5ness ( he>t1 & an abas+ s5se ( b>r5ness & want ( grace & hol9ess1 ?an mo/ :o are call$ ,*ri/ians imag9e2 especially ^? :o h be5 e/eem$ ! conv]ts ( ! late day4 ,_m seem to "k ( no o!r religion b elevat$ joys & affections1 aris+ only f "s flights ( imag9ation1 or "s sugge/ion made to _! m9d1 ( ,*ri/ be+ _!'s1 ,god lov+ !m1 & ! l40 ,on ,?ursday1 ,may #bh1 he came f ,long-,mead[ to ,nor?ampton1 appe>+ va/ly bett] ?an1 by 8 acc\nt1 he _h be5 9 ! w9t]--inde$ s well1 t he 0 able to ride tw5ty-five miles 9 a day1 & to walk half a mile2 & appe>$ *e]ful1 & free f melan*oly2 b yet he 0 und\bt$ly1 at t "t1 9 a confirm$1 incurable consumption4 ,i _h _h mu* opportunity1 be=e ?is1 ( p>ticul> in=mation conc]n+ him1 f _m :o 7 well acqua9t$ ) him2 & _h enjoy$ a p]sonal int]view ) him1 at ,new-,hav51 ne> f\r ye>s be=e1 z has be5 already m5tion$2 b n[ ,i _h opportunity = a m full acqua9tance4 ,i f\nd him rem>kably sociable1 pleasant1 & ent]ta9+ 9 8 conv]sation2 yet solid1 savory1 spiritual1 & v pr(itable4 ,he appe>$ meek1 mode/1 & humble2 f> f any /iffness1 moros5ess1 or affect$ s+ul>ity 9 spee* or behavior1 & seem+ to dislike all su* ?+s4 ,we enjoy$ n only ! b5efit ( 8 conv]sation1 b _h ! com=t & advantage ( jo9+ ) him 9 family pray]1 f "t to "t4 ,8 mann] ( pray+ 0 v agreeable1 mo/ becom+ a worm ( ! du/ & a disciple ( ,*ri/1 address+ an inf9itely great & holy ,god1 ! ,fa!r ( m]cies2 n ) florid expressions1 or a /udi$ eloqu5ce2 n ) any intemp]ate vehem5ce1 or indec5t boldness4 ,x 0 at ! greate/ di/ance f any appe>ance ( o/5tation1 & f e ?+ t might look z ?\gh he meant to recomm5d himself to ^? t 7 ab\t him1 or set himself (f to _! acceptance4 ,x 0 free also f va9 repetitions2 )\t imp]t95t excursions1 or ne$less multiply+ ( words4 ,he express$ himself ) ! /ricte/ propriety1 ) weight & pung5cy2 & yet1 :at 8 lips utt]$ seem$ to fl[ f ! fulness ( 8 he>t1 z deeply impress$ ) a great & solemn s5se ( our necessities1 unwor?9ess1 & dep5d5ce1 & ( ,god's inf9ite greatness1 excell5cy & suffici5cy1 r ?an m]ely f a w>m & fruitful bra91 p\r+ out good expressions4 ,i "k n t ,i ev] he>d him s mu* z ask a bless+ or return ?anks at table1 b !re 0 some?+ rem>kable to be obs]v$ bo? 9 ! matt] & mann] ( ! p]=mance4 ,9 8 pray]s1 he insi/$ mu* on ! prosp]ity ( ,zion1 ! advancem5t ( ,*ri/'s k+dom 9 ! _w1 & ! fl\ri%+ & propagation ( religion among ! ,indians4 ,& he g5]ally made x "o petition 9 8 pray]1 8t we might n outlive our usefulness40 ,"l's day1 ,may #ca4--87;,at ,nor?ampton47 ,i _h little inw>d sweetness 9 religion mo/ ( ! week pa/2 n realiz+ & behold+ spiritually ! glory ( ,god & ! bless$ ,r$eem]2 f :5ce always arise my com=ts & joys 9 religion1 if ,i h any at all2 & if ,i _c s behold ! excell5cies & p]fections ( ,god1 z to cause me to rejoice 9 him = :at he is 9 himself1 ,i h no solid f\ndation = joy4 ,to rejoice1 only because ,i appreh5d ,i h an int]e/ 9 ,*ri/1 & %all be f9ally sav$1 is a poor mean bus9ess inde$40 ,?is week he consult$ ,dr4 ,ma!r1 at my h\se1 conc]n+ 8 illness2 :o pla9ly told him1 t !re 7 great evid5ces ( 8 be+ 9 a confirm$ consumption1 & t he c\ld give him no enc\ragem5t t he w\ld ev] recov]4 ,b x seem$ n to occasion ! lea/ discomposure 9 him1 nor to make any mann] ( alt]ation z to ! *e]fulness & s]5ity ( 8 m9d1 or ! fre$om or pleasantness ( 8 conv]sation4 ,"l's day1 ,june #g4--8,my att5tion 0 greatly engag$1 & my s\l s drawn =? ?is day1 by :at ,i he>d ( ! 'exce$+ preci\sness ( ! sav+ grace ( ,god's ,_s1' t x almo/ ov]came my body1 9 my weak /ate4 ,i saw t true grace is exce$+ly preci\s inde$2 t x is v r>e2 & t !re is b a v small degree ( x1 ev5 :]e ! reality ( x is to be f\nd2 at lea/ ,i saw ?is to be my case4 8,9 ! prec$+ week1 ,i enjoy$ "s com=table seasons ( m$itation4 ,"o morn+1 ! cause ( ,god appe>$ exce$+ly preci\s to me4 ,! ,r$eem]'s k+dom is all t is valuable 9 ! e>?1 & ,i c\ld n b long = ! promotion ( x 9 ! _w4 ,i saw also1 t ?is cause is ,god's2 t he has an inf9itely great] reg>d & conc]n = x ?an ,i c\ld possibly h2 t if ,i h any true love to ?is bless$ int]e/1 x is only a drop d]iv$ f t ocean4 ,h5ce ,i 0 ready to #8lift up my head ) joy1' & conclude1 ',well1 if ,god's cause be s de> & preci\s to him1 he w promote x4' ,?us ,i did1 z x 71 re/ on ,god t he w\ld surely promote t :i* 0 s agreeable to 8 own w2 ?\gh ! "t :51 mu/ /ill be left to 8 sov]eign pleasure40 ,he 0 advis$ by physicians /ill to cont9ue rid+1 z :at w\ld t5d1 above any o!r means1 to prolong 8 life4 ,he 0 at a loss1 = "s "t1 :i* way to b5d 8 c\rse2 b f9ally det]m9$ to ride f h5ce to ,bo/on2 we hav+ conclud$ t "o ( our family %\ld g ) him1 & be helpful to him 9 8 weak & l[ /ate4 ,june #i4--8;,i set out on a j\rney f ,nor?ampton to ,bo/on4 ,travell$ sl[ly1 & got "s acqua9tance ) a numb] ( m9i/]s on ! road4 8,hav+ n[ cont9u$ to ride = a consid]able "t1 ,i felt mu* bett] ?an ,i _h =m]ly done1 & f\nd1 t 9 proportion to ! prospect ,i _h ( be+ re/or$ to a /ate ( usefulness1 ,i desir$ ! cont9uance ( life2 b n[ dea? appe>$ inconceivably m desirable to me ?an a useless life2 yet1 bless$ be ,god1 ,i f\nd my he>t1 at times1 fully resign$ & reconcil$ to ?is greate/ ( afflictions1 if ,god saw fit ?us to deal ) me4 ,june #ab4--8;,i arriv$ 9 ,bo/on ?is day1 some:at fatigu$ ) my j\rney4 ,obs]v$ t !re is no re/ b 9 ,god2 fatigues ( body1 & anxieties ( m9d1 att5d u bo? 9 t[n & c\ntry3 no place is exempt4 ,"l's day1 ,june #ad4--8;,i enjoy$ "s enl>gem5t & sweetness 9 family pray]1 z well z 9 secret ex]cises2 ,god appe>$ excell5t1 8 ways full ( pleasure & peace1 & all ,i want$ 0 a _s ( holy f]v5cy to live to him4 ,june #ag4--8,?is & ! two prec$+ days ,i sp5t ma9ly 9 visit+ ! m9i/]s ( ! t[n1 & 0 treat$ ) great respect by !m4 ,june #ah4--8;,i 0 tak5 exce$+ly ill1 & br\ght to ! gates ( dea?1 by ! break+ ( small ulc]s 9 my lungs1 z my physician suppos$4 ,9 ?is extremely weak /ate ,i cont9u$ = sev]al weeks2 & 0 frequ5tly r$uc$ s l[ z to be utt]ly spee*less1 & n s mu* z to :isp] a ^w4 ,ev5 aft] ,i _h s f> reviv$ z to walk ab\t ! h\se1 & to /ep out ( doors1 ,i 0 ex]cis$ e day ) a fa9t turn1 :i* cont9u$ usually f\r or five h\rs2 at :i* times1 ?\gh ,i 0 n s utt]ly spee*less b t ,i c\ld say yes or no1 yet ,i c\ld n conv]se at all1 nor speak "o s5t5ce1 )\t mak+ /ops = brea?2 & a numb] ( times my fri5ds ga!r$ r\nd my b$1 to see me brea! my la/1 :i* !y expect$ e mom5t1 z ,i myself also did4 8,h[ ,i 01 ! fir/ day or two ( my illness1 ) reg>d to ! ex]cise ( reason1 ,i sc>cely "k4 ,i believe ,i 0 some:at %att]$ ) ! viol5ce ( ! fev] at times2 b ! ?ird day ( my illness1 & con/antly aft]w>d1 = f\r or five weeks toge!r1 ,i enjoy$ z mu* s]5ity ( m9d1 & cle>ness ( ?\ght1 z p]haps ev] 9 my life4 ,i ?9k t my m9d nev] p5etrat$ ) s mu* ease & fre$om into div9e ?+s1 z at ?is "t2 & ,i nev] felt s capable ( demon/rat+ ! tru? ( _m important doctr9es ( ! ,gospel z n[4 ,z ,i saw cle>ly ! tru? ( ^? great doctr9es1 :i* are ju/ly /yl$ ! doctr9es ( grace2 s ,i saw ) no less cle>ness1 t ! ess5ce ( religion consi/$ 9 ! s\l's con=mity to ,god1 & act+ above all selfi% views = 8 glory1 long+ to be = him1 to live to him1 & please & honor him 9 all ?+s3 & ?is f a cle> view ( 8 inf9ite excell5cy & wor?9ess 9 himself1 to be lov$1 ador$1 wor%ipp$1 & s]v$ by all intellig5t creatures4 ,?us ,i saw1 t :5 a s\l loves ,god ) a supreme love1 he !re9 acts l ! bless$ ,god himself1 :o mo/ ju/ly loves himself 9 t mann]4 ,s :5 ,god's int]e/ & 8 are become "o1 & he longs t ,god %\ld be glorifi$1 & rejoices to ?9k t he is un*angeably possess$ ( ! highe/ glory & bless$ness1 h]e9 also he acts 9 con=mity to ,god4 ,9 l mann]1 :5 ! s\l is fully resign$ to1 & re/s satisfi$ & cont5t ) ! div9e w1 "h x is also con=m$ to ,god4 8,i saw f>!r1 t z ?is div9e temp]1 by :i* ! s\l exalts ,god1 & treads self 9 ! du/1 is wr\ght 9 ! s\l by ,god's discov]+ 8 own glori\s p]fections 9 ! face ( ,jesus ,*ri/ to x by ! special influ5ces ( ! ,holy ,_s1 s he _c b h reg>d to x z 8 own "w2 & z x is 8 image 9 8 s\l1 he _c b take delight 9 x4 ,!n ,i saw aga91 t if ,god %\ld slight & reject 8 own moral image1 he mu/ ne$s d5y himself2 :i* he _c d4 ,& ?us ,i saw ! /ability & infallibility ( ?is religion2 & t ^? :o are truly possess$ ( x1 h ! mo/ complete & satisfy+ evid5ce ( _! be+ int]e/$ 9 all ! b5efits ( ,*ri/'s r$emption1 hav+ _! he>ts con=m$ to him2 & t ^!1 & ^! only1 are qualifi$ = ! employm5ts & ent]ta9m5ts ( ,god's k+dom ( glory2 z none b ^! h any reli% = ! bus9ess ( heav51 :i* is to ascribe glory to ,god1 & n to !mselves2 & t ,god 7?\gh ,i w\ld speak x ) great rev]5ce ( 8 "n & p]fection7 _c1 )\t d5y+ himself1 f9ally ca/ su* away4 8,! next ?+ ,i _h !n to d1 0 to inquire :e!r ?is 0 my religion2 & "h ,god 0 pleas$ to help me to ! mo/ easy remembrance & critical review ( :at _h pass$ 9 c\rse1 ( a religi\s nature1 ?r\gh sev]al ( ! latt] ye>s ( my life4 ,al?\gh ,i c\ld discov] mu* corruption att5d+ my be/ duties1 _m selfi% views & c>nal ends1 mu* spiritual pride & self-exaltation1 & innum]able o!r evils :i* compass$ me ab\t1 yet ,god 0 pleas$1 z ,i 0 review+1 quickly to put ?is "q out ( d\bt1 by %[+ me t ,i _h1 f "t to "t1 act$ above ! utmo/ influ5ce ( m]e self-love2 t ,i _h long$ to please & glorify him1 z my highe/ happ9ess1 c4 ,?is review 01 ?r\gh grace1 att5d$ ) a pres5t feel+ ( ! same div9e temp] ( m9d4 ,i felt n[ pleas$ to ?9k ( ! glory ( ,god1 & long$ = heav51 z a /ate :]e9 ,i might glorify him p]fectly1 r ?an a place ( happ9ess = myself4 ,?is feel+ ( ! love ( ,god 9 my he>t1 :i* ,i tru/ ! ,_s ( ,god excit$ 9 me afre%1 0 suffici5t to give me a full satisfaction1 & make me long1 z ,i _h _m times be=e done1 to be ) ,*ri/4 8,z ,god 0 pleas$ to af=d me cle>ness ( ?\ght1 & composure ( m9d1 almo/ cont9ually = sev]al weeks1 "u my great weakness2 s he enabl$ me1 9 "s measure1 to improve my "t1 z ,i hope1 to valuable purposes4 ,i 0 enabl$ to write a numb] ( important lett]s to fri5ds 9 remote places2 & sometimes ,i wrote :5 ,i 0 spee*less1 i4 e4 unable to ma9ta9 conv]sation ) any body2 ?\gh p]haps ,i 0 able to speak a ^w or two s z to be he>d4 8,at ?is season also1 :ile ,i 0 conf9$ at ,bo/on1 ,i read ) c>e & att5tion "s pap]s ( old ,mr4 ,%ep>d1 lately come to light1 & design$ = ! press2 &1 z ,i 0 desir$ & greatly urg$1 made "s corrections :]e ! s5se 0 left d>k = want ( a ^w or two4 ,beside ?is1 ,i _h _m visitants1 ) :om1 :5 ,i 0 able to speak1 ,i always conv]s$ ( ! ?+s ( religion1 & 0 peculi>ly assi/$ 9 di/+ui%+ betwe5 ! true & false religion ( ! times4 ,!re is sc>cely any subject :i* has be5 matt] ( controv]sy ( late1 b ,i 0 at "o "t or o!r compell$ to discuss & %[ my op9ion respect+ x1 & t frequ5tly be=e numb]s ( p4 ,especially1 ,i disc\rs$ repeat$ly on ! nature & necessity ( t humiliation1 self-empt9ess1 or full conviction ( a p]son's be+ utt]ly undone 9 himself1 :i* is necess>y 9 ord] to a sav+ fai?2 & ! extreme difficulty ( be+ br\ght to ?is1 & ! great dang] !re is ( p]sons tak+ up ) "s self-righte\s appe>ances ( x4 ,! dang] ( ?is ,i especially dwelt ^u1 be+ p]suad$ t multitudes p]i% 9 ?is hidd5 way2 & because s little is said f mo/ pulpits to discov] any dang] "h2 s t p]sons be+ nev] effectually br\ght to die 9 !mselves1 are nev] truly unit$ to ,*ri/1 & s p]i%4 ,i also disc\rs$ mu* on :at ,i take to be ! ess5ce ( true religion2 endeavor+ pla9ly to describe t god-l temp] & disposition ( s\l1 & t holy conv]sation & behavior1 :i* may ju/ly claim ! honor ( hav+ ,god = its orig9al & patron4 ,i h reason to hope ,god bless$ my way ( disc\rs+ & di/+ui%+ to "s1 bo? m9i/]s & p2 s t my "t 0 n :olly lo/40 ,he 0 visit$ :ile 9 ,bo/on by _m1 :o %[$ him uncommon respect1 & appe>$ highly pleas$ & ent]ta9$ ) 8 conv]sation4 ,beside be+ honor$ ) ! company & respect ( m9i/]s ( ! t[n1 he 0 visit$ by sev]al m9i/]s f v>i\s p>ts ( ! c\ntry4 ,he took all opportunities to disc\rse on ! peculi> nature & di/+ui%+ *>act]i/ics ( true1 spiritual1 & vital religion2 & to be> 8 te/imony aga9/ ! v>i\s false appe>ances ( x1 consi/+ 91 or aris+ f impressions on ! imag9ation1 sudd5 & suppos$ imm$iate sugge/ions ( tru? n conta9$ 9 ! ,scripture1 & t fai? :i* consi/s prim>ily 9 a p]son's believ+ t ,*ri/ di$ = him 9 p>ticul>1 c4 ,:at he said 01 = ! mo/ "p1 he>d ) uncommon att5tion & reg>d2 & 8 disc\rses & reason+s appe>$ manife/ly to h great weight & influ5ce ) _m ) :om he conv]s$1 bo? m9i/]s & o!rs4 ,! ,commission]s 9 ,bo/on1 ( ! ,society 9 ,london = propagat+ ! ,gospel 9 ,new-,engl& & p>ts adjac5t1 hav+ receiv$ a legacy ( ! late ,rev4 ,dr4 ,daniel ,williams1 ( ,london1 = ! support ( two mission>ies to ! hea!n1 7 pleas$1 :ile he 0 9 ,bo/on1 to consult him ab\t a mission to ^? ,indians call$ ! ,six ,nations1 p>ticul>ly respect+ ! qualifications requisite 9 a mission>y to ^? ,indians4 ,!y 7 s satisfi$ ) 8 s5tim5ts on ?is head1 & _h su* confid5ce 9 8 fai?fulness1 8 judgm5t & discretion 9 ?+s ( ?is nature1 t !y desir$ him to und]take to f9d & recomm5d two p]sons fit to be employ$ 9 ?is bus9ess2 & v mu* left ! matt] ) him4 ,,bra9]d',s re/oration f 8 extremely l[ /ate 9 ,bo/on1 s z to g abroad aga91 & to travel1 0 v unexpect$ to him & 8 fri5ds4 ,my daught]1 :o 0 ) him1 writes ?us conc]n+ him1 9 a lett] dat$ ,june #bc3 8,on ,?ursday1 he 0 v ill ) a viol5t fev]1 & extreme pa9 9 8 head & brea/1 & at turns deliri\s4 ,s he rema9$ till ,saturday ev5+1 :5 he seem$ to be 9 ! agonies ( dea?2 ! family 0 up ) him till "o or two o'clock1 expect+ t e h\r w\ld be 8 la/4 ,on ,sabba? day he 0 a little reviv$1 8 head 0 bett]1 b he 0 v full ( pa91 exce$+ sore at 8 brea/1 & _h great difficulty 9 brea?+4 ,ye/]day he 0 bett]4 ,la/ night he slept b little4 ,?is morn+ he 0 mu* worse4 ,dr4 ,pyn*on says1 he has no hope ( 8 life2 nor does he ?9k x likely t he w ev] come out ( ! *amb]2 ?\gh he says he may be able to come to ,nor?ampton40 ,9 ano!r lett]1 dat$ ,june #bi1 %e says3--8,mr4 ,,bra9]d has n s mu* pa91 nor fev]1 s9ce ,i la/ wrote1 z be=e2 yet he is extremely weak & l[1 & v fa9t1 expect+ e day w be 8 la/4 ,he says x is impossible = him to live1 = he has h>dly vigor en\gh to draw 8 brea?4 ,i w5t ?is morn+ into t[n1 & :5 ,i came home1 ,mr4 ,bromfield said he nev] expect$ ,i %\ld see him alive1 = he lay two h\rs1 z !y ?\ght1 dy+2 "o c\ld sc>cely tell :e!r he 0 alive or n2 he 0 n able to speak = "s "t2 b n[ is mu* z he 0 be=e4 ,! doctor ?9ks he w drop away 9 su* a turn4 ,mr4 ,,bra9]d says1 he nev] felt any ?+ s mu* l dissolution z t he felt to-day2 & says1 he nev] _h any conception ( its be+ possible = any creature to be alive1 & yet s weak z he is f day to day4 ,dr4 ,pyn*on says1 he %\ld n be surpris$ if he %\ld s recov] z to live half a ye>2 nor w\ld x surprise him if he %\ld die 9 half a day4 ,s9ce ,i began to write1 he is n s well1 hav+ _h a fa9t turn aga93 yet he is pati5t & resign$1 hav+ no di/ress+ fe>s1 b ! contr>y40 ,he express$ himself to "o ( my neighbors1 :o at t "t saw him 9 ,bo/on1 t he 0 z c]ta9ly a dead man1 z if he 0 %ot ?r\gh ! he>t4 ,b s x 0 ord]$ 9 div9e ,provid5ce1 t ! /r5g? ( nature held out1 & he reviv$1 to ! a/oni%m5t ( all :o knew 8 case4 ,aft] he began to revive1 he 0 visit$ by 8 y\nge/ bro!r1 ,,israel1 a /ud5t at ,yale ,college2 :o hav+ he>d ( 8 extreme illness1 w5t f !nce to ,bo/on1 9 ord] to see him2 if he might f9d him alive1 :i* he b little expect$4 ,,bra9]d greatly rejoic$ to see 8 bro!r1 especially because he _h desir$ an opportunity ( "s religi\s conv]sation ) him be=e he di$4 ,b ?is meet+ 0 att5d$ ) sorr[1 z 8 bro!r br\ght to him ! tid+s ( 8 si/] ,sp5c]'s dea?1 at ,haddam2 a si/]1 betwe5 :om & him _h long subsi/$ a peculi>ly de> affection1 & mu* intimacy 9 spiritual ?+s1 & ^: h\se he us$ to make 8 own :5 he w5t to ,haddam1 8 native place4 ,b he _h a confid5ce ( h] be+ gone to heav51 & an expectation ( soon meet+ h] !re4 ,8 bro!r cont9u$ ) him till he left ! t[n1 & came ) him f !nce to ,nor?ampton4 ,conc]n+ ! la/ ,sabba? ,bra9]d sp5t 9 ,bo/on1 he writes 9 8 di>y z foll[s3 ,"l's day1 ,july #ai4--8;,i 0 j able to att5d public wor%ip1 be+ c>ri$ to ! h\se ( ,god 9 a *aise4 ,he>d ,dr4 ,sewall prea* 9 ! =5oon3 p>took ( ! ,"l's supp] at ?is "t4 ,9 ?is ord9ance ,i saw a/oni%+ div9e wisdom display$1 su* wisdom z cle>ly requir$ ! tongues ( angels & glorifi$ sa9ts to celebrate4 ,x seem$ to me t ,i nev] %\ld d any ?+ at ador+ ! inf9ite wisdom ( ,god1 discov]$ 9 ! contrivance ( man's r$emption1 until ,i arriv$ at a _w ( p]fection2 yet ,i c\ld n help /riv+ #8to call ^u my s\l1 & all )9 me1 to bless ! "n ( ,god4' ,9 ! aft]noon1 he>d ,mr4 ,pr9ce prea*4 ,i saw m ( ,god 9 ! wisdom discov]$ 9 ! plan ( man's r$emption1 ?an ,i saw ( any o!r ( 8 p]fections1 ?r\gh ! :ole day40 ,! next day1 hav+ bid an affectionate f>ewell to 8 fri5ds1 he set out 9 ! cool ( ! aft]noon1 on 8 j\rney to ,nor?ampton1 att5d$ by 8 bro!r & my daught]1 :o w5t ) him to ,bo/on2 & w\ld h be5 accompani$ out ( ! t[n by a numb] ( g5tlem51 besides ! respect$ p]son :o gave him 8 company = "s miles on t occasion1 z a te/imony ( _! e/eem & respect1 _h n 8 av]sion to any ?+ ( pomp & %[ prev5t$ x4 ,july #be4--8;,i arriv$ "h1 at ,nor?ampton2 hav+ set out f ,bo/on on ,monday1 ab\t #d o'clock ,p4 ,m4 ,9 ?is j\rney ,i usually rode ab\t sixte5 miles a day4 ,0 sometimes extremely tir$ & fa9t on ! road1 s t x seem$ impossible = me to proce$ any fur!r2 at o!r times ,i 0 consid]ably bett]1 & felt "s fre$om bo? ( body & m9d4 ,"l's day1 ,july #bf4--8,?is day ,i saw cle>ly t ,i %\ld nev] be happy2 yea1 t ,god himself c\ld n make me happy1 unless ,i c\ld be 9 a capacity to #8please & glorify him = ev]4' ,take away ?is1 & admit me 9 all ! f9e heav5s t c be conceiv$ ( by m5 or angels1 & ,i %\ld /ill be mis]able = ev]40 ,?\gh he _h s reviv$ z to be able to travel ?us f>1 yet he manife/$ no expectation ( recov]y4 ,he suppos$1 z 8 physician did1 t 8 be+ br\ght s ne> to dea? at ,bo/on1 0 ow+ to ! break+ ( ulc]s 9 8 lungs4 ,he told me t he _h sev]al su* ill turns be=e1 only n to s high a degree1 b1 z he suppos$1 ow+ to ! same cause1 viz4 ! break+ ( ulc]s2 t he 0 br\ght l[] & l[] e "t2 t x appe>$ to him1 t 9 8 la/ sickness he 0 br\ght z l[ z he c\ld be1 & yet live2 & t he _h n ! lea/ expectation ( surviv+ ! next return ( ?is break+ ( ulc]s2 he /ill appe>$ p]fectly calm 9 ! prospect ( dea?4 ,on ,w$nesday morn+1 ! week aft] he came to ,nor?ampton1 8 bro!r ,israel left u = ,new-,hav51 & he took leave ( him1 nev] expect+ to see him aga9 9 ?is _w4 ,:5 ,,bra9]d came hi!r1 he _h s mu* /r5g? z to be able1 f day to day1 to ride out two or ?ree miles1 & sometimes to pray 9 ! family2 b f ?is "t he gradually decay$1 becom+ weak] & weak]4 ,z long z he liv$1 he spoke mu* ( t future prosp]ity ( ,zion :i* is s (t5 =etold & promis$ 9 ! ,scriptures2 x 0 a !me ^u :i* he delight$ to dwell2 & 8 m9d seem$ to be c>ri$ =? ) e>ne/ conc]n ab\t x1 & int5se desires t religion might spe$ily & abundantly revive & fl\ri%2 yea1 ! ne>] dea? advanc$1 & ! m ! symptoms ( its approa* increas$1 /ill ! m did 8 m9d seem to be tak5 up ) ?is subject4 ,he told me1 :5 ne> 8 end1 t 8he nev]1 9 all 8 life1 _h 8 m9d s l$ =? 9 desires & e>ne/ pray]s = ! fl\ri%+ ( ,*ri/'s k+dom on e>?1 z s9ce he 0 br\ght s exce$+ l[ at ,bo/on40 ,he seem$ mu* to wond] t !re appe>$ no m ( a disposition 9 m9i/]s & p to pray = ! fl\ri%+ ( religion ?r\gh ! _w2 t s little a "p ( _! pray]s 0 g5]ally tak5 up ab\t x1 9 _! families & else:]e4 ,p>ticul>ly1 he sev]al times express$ 8 wond] t !re appe>$ no m =w>dness to comply ) ! proposal lately made1 9 a ,memorial f a numb] ( m9i/]s 9 ,scotl&1 & s5t ov] into ,am]ica1 = unit$ extraord9>y pray]1 among/ ,*ri/'s m9i/]s & p1 = ! com+ ( ,*ri/'s k+dom3 & s5t x z 8 dy+ advice to 8 own congregation1 t !y %\ld practise agreeably to t proposal4 ,?\gh he 0 con/antly exce$+ weak1 yet !re appe>$ 9 him a cont9ual c>e well to improve "t1 & fill x up ) some?+ t might be pr(itable1 & 9 "s respect = ! glory ( ,god or ! good ( m52 ei!r pr(itable conv]sation1 or writ+ lett]s to abs5t fri5ds2 or not+ some?+ 9 8 di>y2 or look+ ov] 8 =m] writ+s1 correct+ !m1 & prep>+ !m to be left 9 ! h&s ( o!rs at 8 dea?2 or giv+ "s directions conc]n+ ! future managem5t ( 8 p2 or 9 secret devotions4 ,he seem$ nev] to be easy1 h[ev] ill1 if he 0 n do+ some?+ = ,god1 or 9 8 s]vice4 ,aft] he came hi!r1 he wrote a preface to a di>y ( ,mr4 ,,%ep>d1 conta9$ 9 ! pap]s above m5tion$1 :i* has s9ce be5 publi%$4 ,9 8 di>y = ,"l's day1 ,augu/ #i1 he speaks ( long+ desires aft] dea?1 ?r\gh a s5se ( ! excell5cy ( a /ate ( p]fection4 ,9 8 di>y = ,"l's day1 ,augu/ #af1 he speaks ( 8 hav+ s mu* refre%m5t ( s\l 9 ! h\se ( ,god t x seem$ also to refre% 8 body4 ,& ?is is n only not$ 9 8 di>y1 b 0 v obs]vable to o!rs2 x 0 app>5t1 n only t 8 m9d 0 exhil>at$ ) inw>d consolation1 b also t 8 animal spirits & bodily /r5g? seem$ to be rem>kably re/or$1 z ?\gh he _h =got 8 illness4 ,b ?is 0 ! la/ "t t ev] he att5d$ public wor%ip on ! ,sabba?4 ,on ,tuesday morn+ t week1 z ,i 0 abs5t on a j\rney1 he pray$ ) my family1 b n )\t mu* difficulty1 = want ( bodily /r5g?2 & ?is 0 ! la/ family pray] t he ev] made4 ,he _h be5 wont1 till n[1 frequ5tly to ride out1 two or ?ree miles3 b ?is week1 on ,?ursday1 0 ! la/ "t he ev] did s4 ,"l's day1 ,aug4 #bc4--8,?is morn+ ,i 0 consid]ably refre%$ ) ! ?\ght1 yea1 ! hope & expectation ( ! enl>gem5t ( ,*ri/'s k+dom2 & ,i c\ld n b hope t ! "t 0 at h&1 :5 ,babylon ! great w\ld fall1 & #8rise no m4' ,?is l$ me to "s spiritual m$itations1 :i* 7 v refre%+ to me4 ,i 0 unable to att5d public wor%ip ei!r "p ( ! day2 b ,god 0 pleas$ to af=d me fix$ness & satisfaction 9 div9e ?\ghts4 ,no?+ s refre%es my s\l1 z :5 ,i c g to ,god1 yea1 'to ,god my exce$+ joy ,:5 he is su* to my s\l1 ,o h[ unspeakably delightful is ?is6 8,9 ! week pa/ ,i _h div]s turns ( inw>d refre%+1 ?\gh my body 0 inexpressibly weak1 foll[$ cont9ually ) agues & fev]s4 ,sometimes my s\l c5t]$ 9 ,god1 z my only portion2 & ,i felt t ,i %\ld be = ev] unhappy1 if ,he did n reign4 ,i saw ! sweetness & happ9ess ( be+ 8 subject1 at 8 disposal4 ,?is made all my difficulties quickly vani%40 ,till ?is week he _h be5 wont to lodge 9 a room above /airs1 b he n[ grew s weak1 t he 0 no long] able to g up /airs & d[n4 ,friday1 ,augu/ #bh1 0 ! la/ "t he ev] w5t above /airs2 h5ce=w>d he betook himself to a l[] room4 ,on ,w$nesday1 ,sept4 #b1 be+ ! day ( our public lecture1 he seem$ to be refre%$ ) see+ ! neighbor+ m9i/]s :o came hi!r to ! lecture1 & express$ a great desire once m to g to ! h\se ( ,god on t day2 & accord+ly rode to ! meet+1 & att5d$ div9e s]vice1 :ile ! ,rev4 ,mr4 ,woodbridge1 ( ,hatfield1 prea*$4 ,he signifi$ t he suppos$ x to be ! la/ "t he %\ld ev] att5d public wor%ip2 z x prov$4 ,inde$ x 0 ! la/ "t t he ev] w5t out ( our gate4 ,on ! ,saturday ev5+ next foll[+1 he 0 unexpect$ly visit$ by 8 bro!r1 ,mr4 ,,john ,,bra9]d1 :o came to see him f ,new-,j]sey4 ,he 0 mu* refre%$ by ?is unexpect$ visit1 ?is bro!r be+ peculi>ly de> to him2 & he seem$ to rejoice 9 a dev\t & solemn mann]1 to see him1 & to he> ! com=table tid+s :i* he br\ght conc]n+ ! /ate ( 8 de> congregation ( ,*ri/ian ,indians4 ,a circum/ance ( ?is visit ( :i* he 0 exce$+ly glad1 01 t 8 bro!r br\ght him "s ( 8 private writ+s f ,new-,j]sey1 & p>ticul>ly 8 di>y1 :i* he _h kept = _m ye>s pa/4 ,"l's day1 ,sept4 #f4--8;,i began to read "s ( my private writ+s :i* my bro!r br\ght me1 & 0 consid]ably refre%$ ) :at ,i f\nd 9 !m4 ,sept4 #g4--8;,i proce$$ fur!r 9 read+ my old private writ+s1 & f\nd t !y _h ! same effect ^u me z be=e4 ,i c\ld n b rejoice & bless ,god = :at pass$ long ago1 :i*1 )\t writ+1 _h be5 entirely lo/4 8,?is ev5+1 :5 ,i 0 9 great di/ress ( body1 my s\l long$ t ,god %\ld be glorifi$4 ,o t ,i c\ld = ev] live to ,god6 ,! day1 ,i tru/1 is at h&1 ! p]fect day4 ,o ! day ( deliv]ance f all s96 ,"l's day1 ,sept4 #ac4--8;,i 0 mu* refre%$ & engag$ 9 m$itation & writ+1 & f\nd a he>t to act = ,god4 ,my spirits 7 refre%$1 & my s\l delight$ to d some?+ = ,god40 ,on ! ev5+ ( t ,"l's day1 8 feet began to swell2 & !nce=w>d swell$ m & m3 a symptom ( 8 dissolution com+ on4 ,! next day1 8 bro!r ,john left him1 be+ oblig$ to return to ,new-,j]sey on "s bus9ess ( great importance & necessity2 int5d+ to return aga9 ) all possible spe$1 hop+ to see 8 bro!r yet once m 9 ! l& ( ! liv+4 ,,bra9]d hav+ n[1 ) mu* delib]ation1 consid]$ ! subject ref]r$ to him by ! commission]s ( ! ,society = propagat+ ! ,gospel 9 ,new-,engl& & p>ts adjac5t1 wrote !m ab\t ?is "t1 recomm5d+ two "y g5tlem5 ( 8 acqua9tance1 ,mr4 ,elihu ,sp5c]1 ( ,ea/ ,haddam1 & ,mr4 ,job ,/rong1 ( ,nor?ampton1 z suitable mission>ies to ! ,six ,nations4 ,! commission]s1 on ! receipt ( ?is lett]1 *e]fully & unanim\sly agre$ to accept ( & employ ! p]sons :om he _h recomm5d$4 ,on ,w$nesday1 ,sept4 #af1 he wrote to "s *>itable g5tlem5 9 ,bo/on 9 behalf ( ! ,indian s*ool1 %[+ ! ne$ ( ano!r s*oolma/]1 or "s p]son to assi/ ! s*oolma/] 9 in/ruct+ ! ,indian *ildr54 ,^! g5tlem51 on ! receipt ( 8 lett]1 _h a meet+1 & agre$ ) great *e]fulness to give #bjj 79 bills ( ! old t5or7 = ! support ( ano!r s*oolma/]2 & desir$ ! ,rev4 ,mr4 ,pemb]ton1 ( ,new-,york1 7:o 0 !n at ,bo/on1 & 0 also at _! desire1 pres5t at ! meet+17 z soon z possible to procure a suitable p]son = t s]vice2 & also agre$1 9 accordance ) an intimation f ,,bra9]d1 to all[ #gd to defray "s special *>ges :i* 7 requisite to enc\rage ! mission to ! ,six ,nations4 ,,bra9]d sp5t himself mu* 9 writ+ ^? lett]s1 be+ exce$+ly weak2 b x seem$ to be mu* to 8 satisfaction t he _h be5 enabl$ to d x1 hop+ t x 0 some?+ done = ,god1 & :i* might be = ! advancem5t ( ,*ri/'s k+dom & glory4 ,9 writ+ ! la/ ( ^! lett]s1 he 0 oblig$ to use ! h& ( ano!r4 ,on ,?ursday ( ?is week1 7,sept4 #ag17 :5 he w5t out ( 8 lodg+-room = ! la/ "t1 he 0 aga9 visit$ by 8 bro!r ,,israel1 :o cont9u$ ) him till 8 dea?4 ,on t ev5+ he 0 tak5 ) some?+ ( a di>rhea1 :i* he look$ ^u z ano!r sign ( 8 approa*+ dea?2 :]eupon he express$ himself ?us3 8,oh1 ! glori\s "t is n[ com+6 ,i h long$ to s]ve ,god p]fectly3 n[ ,god w gratify ^? desires60 ,& f "t to "t1 at ! sev]al /eps & new symptoms ( ! s5sible approa* ( 8 dissolution1 he 0 s f> f be+ sunk or depress$ 9 spirits1 t he seem$ to be animat$ & made m *e]ful1 z be+ glad at ! appe>ance ( dea?'s approa*4 ,he (t5 us$ ! epi!t glori\s1 :5 speak+ ( ! day ( 8 dea?1 call+ x t glori\s day4 ,& z he saw 8 dissolution gradually approa*+1 he talk$ mu* ab\t x2 & ) p]fect calmness spoke ( a future /ate4 ,he also settl$ all 8 affairs1 giv+ directions v p>ticul>ly & m9utely conc]n+ :at he w\ld h done 9 "o respect & ano!r aft] 8 decease4 ,& ! ne>] dea? approa*$1 ! m desir\s he seem$ to be to dep>t4 ,he sev]al times spoke ( ! diff]5t k9ds ( will+ness to die2 & repres5t$ x z an ignoble1 mean k9d1 to be will+ to leave ! body only to get rid ( pa92 or to g to heav5 only to get honor & advancem5t !re4 ,sept4 #ai4--8,ne> night1 :ile ,i attempt$ to walk a little1 my ?\ghts turn$ ?us3 #8,h[ inf9itely sweet to love ,god1 & be all = him6' ,^u :i* x 0 sugge/$ to me1 #8,y are n an angel1 n lively & active4' ,to :i* my :ole s\l imm$iately repli$1 #8,i z s9c]ely desire to love & glorify ,god z any angel 9 heav54' ,^u :i* x 0 sugge/$ aga91 #8,b y are fil?y1 n fit = heav54' ,h]eupon in/antly appe>$ ! bless$ robes ( ,*ri/'s righte\sness1 9 :i* ,i c\ld n b exult & triumph2 & ,i view$ ! inf9ite excell5cy ( ,god1 & my s\l ev5 broke ) long+s t ,god %\ld be glorifi$4 ,i ?\ght ( dignity 9 heav51 b in/antly ! ?\ght return$1 #8,i d n g to heav5 to get honor1 b to give all possible glory & praise4' ,o h[ ,i long$ t ,god %\ld be glorifi$ on e>? also6 ,o ,i 0 made = et]nity1 if ,god might be glorifi$6 ,bodily pa9s ,i c>$ n =2 ?\gh ,i 0 !n 9 extremity1 ,i nev] felt easi]4 ,i felt will+ to glorify ,god 9 t /ate ( bodily di/ress z long z he pleas$ ,i %\ld cont9ue 9 x4 ,! grave appe>$ really sweet1 & ,i long$ to lodge my we>y bones 9 x2 b ,o t ,god might be glorifi$6 ?is 0 ! burd5 ( all my cry4 ,o ,i knew t ,i %\ld be active z an angel 9 heav51 & t ,i %\ld be /ripp$ ( my fil?y g>m5ts6 s t !re 0 no objection4 ,b1 ,o to love & praise ,god m1 to please him = ev]6 ?is my s\l pant$ aft]1 & ev5 n[ pants =1 :ile ,i write4 ,oh t ,god might be glorifi$ 9 ! :ole e>?6 #8,"l let ?y k+dom come4' ,i long$ = a _s ( prea*+ to desc5d & re/ on m9i/]s1 t !y might address ! consci5ces ( m5 ) clos5ess & p[]4 ,i saw t ,god _h ! residue ( ! ,_s1 & my s\l long$ t x %\ld be #8p\r$ f on high4' ,i c\ld n b plead ) ,god = my de> congregation1 t he w\ld pres]ve x1 & n suff] 8 great "n to lose its glory 9 t "w2 my s\l /ill long+ t ,god might be glorifi$40 ,! extraord9>y frame he 0 9 t ev5+ c\ld n be hid4 8,8 m\? spake out ( ! abundance ( 8 he>t10 express+ 9 a v affect+ mann] mu* ! same ?+s z are writt5 9 8 di>y4 ,among v _m o!r extraord9>y expressions :i* he !n utt]$1 7 su* z ^!3 8,my heav5 is to please ,god1 & glorify him1 & to give all to him1 & to be :olly devot$ to 8 glory2 t is ! heav5 ,i long =2 t is my religion1 & t is my happ9ess1 & always 01 ev] s9ce ,i suppose ,i _h any true religion2 & all ^? t are ( t religion %all meet me 9 heav54 ,i d n g to heav5 to be advanc$1 b to give honor to ,god4 ,x is no matt] :]e ,i %all be /ation$ 9 heav51 :e!r ,i h a high or l[ seat !re2 b to love1 & please1 & glorify ,god is all4 ,_h ,i a ?\s& s\ls1 if !y 7 wor? any ?+1 ,i w\ld give !m all to ,god2 b ,i h no?+ to give :5 all is done4 ,x is impossible = any rational creature to be happy )\t act+ all = ,god2 ,god himself c\ld n make him happy any o!r way4 ,i long to be 9 heav51 prais+ & glorify+ ,god ) ! holy angels2 all my desire is to glorify ,god4 ,my he>t goes out to ! bury+ place2 x seems to me a desirable place3 b ,o to glorify ,god6 t is x2 t is above all4 ,x is a great com=t to me to ?9k t ,i h done a little = ,god 9 ! _w2 ,oh6 x is b a v small matt]1 yet ,i h done a little1 & ,i lam5t t ,i h n done m = him4 ,!re is no?+ 9 ! _w wor? liv+ =1 b do+ good1 & f9i%+ ,god's "w1 do+ ! "w t ,*ri/ did4 ,i see no?+ else 9 ! _w t c yield any satisfaction besides liv+ to ,god1 pleas+ him1 & do+ 8 :ole w4 ,my greate/ joy & com=t has be5 to d some?+ = promot+ ! int]e/ ( religion & ! s\ls ( p>ticul> p]sons2 & n[1 9 my illness1 :ile ,i am full ( pa9 & di/ress f day to day1 all ! com=t ,i h is 9 be+ able to d "s little s]vice = ,god1 ei!r by some?+ ,i say1 or by writ+1 or 9 "s o!r way40 ,he int]m+l$ ) ^!1 & o!r l expressions1 _m pa!tical c\nsels to ^? :o 7 ab\t him1 p>ticul>ly to my *ildr5 & s]vants4 ,he appli$ himself to "s ( my y\ng] *ildr5 at ?is "t2 call+ !m to him1 & speak+ to !m "o by "o2 sett+ be=e !m1 9 a v pla9 mann]1 ! nature & ess5ce ( true piety1 & its great importance & necessity2 e>ne/ly w>n+ !m n to re/ 9 any ?+ %ort ( a true & ?or\gh *ange ( he>t1 & a life devot$ to ,god4 ,he c\nsell$ !m n to be slack 9 ! great bus9ess ( religion1 nor 9 ! lea/ to delay x2 en=c+ 8 c\nsels ) ?is1 t 8 words 7 ! words ( a dy+ man4 ,said he1 8,i %all die "h1 & "h ,i %all be buri$1 & "h y w see my grave1 & ,i wi% y to rememb] :at ,i h said to y4 ,i am go+ into et]nity2 & x is sweet = me to ?9k ( et]nity2 ! endlessness ( x makes x sweet3 b ,o :at %all ,i say ( ! et]nity ( ! wick$6 ,i _c m5tion x1 nor ?9k ( x2 ! ?\ght is too dreadful4 ,:5 y see my grave1 !n rememb] :at ,i said to y :ile ,i 0 alive2 !n ?9k h[ ! man :o lies 9 t grave c\nsell$ & w>n$ y to prep>e = dea?40 ,8 body seem$ to be m>vell\sly /r5g!n$1 ?r\gh ! inw>d vigor & refre%m5t ( 8 m9d2 s t1 al?\gh be=e he 0 s weak t he c\ld h>dly utt] a s5t5ce1 yet n[ he cont9u$ 8 mo/ affect+ & pr(itable disc\rse to u = m ?an an h\r1 ) sc>ce any int]mission2 & said ( x :5 he _h done1 8x 0 ! la/ s]mon t ev] he %\ld prea*40 ,?is extraord9>y frame ( m9d cont9u$ ! next day1 ( :i* he speaks 9 8 di>y z foll[s3 ,"l's day1 ,sept4 #bj4--8,0 /ill 9 a sweet & com=table frame1 & 0 aga9 melt$ ) desires t ,god might be glorifi$1 & ) long+s to love & live to him4 ,long$ = ! influ5ces ( ! div9e ,_s to desc5d on m9i/]s 9 an especial mann]4 ,& ,o ,i long$ to be ) ,god1 to behold 8 glory1 & to b[ 9 8 pres5ce40 ,x appe>s by :at is not$ 9 8 di>y1 bo? ( ?is day & ! ev5+ prec$+1 t 8 m9d at ?is "t 0 mu* impress$ ) a s5se ( ! importance ( ! "w ( ! m9i/ry1 & ! ne$ ( ! grace ( ,god1 & 8 special spiritual assi/ance 9 ?is "w2 x also appe>$ 9 :at he express$ 9 conv]sation1 p>ticul>ly 9 8 disc\rse to 8 bro!r ,israel1 :o 0 !n a memb] ( ,yale ,college at ,new-,hav51 prosecut+ 8 /udies = ! "w ( ! m9i/ry4,i ,he n[1 & f "t to "t1 9 ?is 8 dy+ /ate1 recomm5d$ to 8 bro!r a life ( self-d5ial1 ( wean$ness f ! _w & devot$ness to ,god1 & an e>ne/ endeavor to obta9 mu* ( ! grace ( ,god's ,_s1 & ,god's graci\s influ5ces on 8 he>t2 repres5t+ ! great ne$ 9 :i* m9i/]s /& ( !m1 & ! unspeakable b5efit ( !m1 f 8 own exp]i5ce4 ,among _m o!r expressions1 he said ?us3 8,:5 m9i/]s feel ^! special graci\s influ5ces on _! he>ts1 x wond]fully assi/s !m to come at ! consci5ces ( m51 & z x 7 to h&le !m ) h&s2 :]eas1 )\t !m1 :atev] reason & oratory we make use (1 we d b make use ( /umps1 in/ead ( h&s40 ,footnote ,i3 ,?is bro!r 0 +5i\s1 s]i\s1 /udi\s1 & hopefully pi\s2 !re appe>$ 9 him _m qualities giv+ hope ( 8 be+ a great bless+ 9 8 day4 ,b x pleas$ ,god1 soon aft] ! dea? ( 8 bro!r1 to take him away also4 ,he di$ t w9t] at ,new-,hav51 ,janu>y #f1 #agdh1 ( a n]v\s fev]1 aft] ab\t a =tnight's illness4 ,sept4 #ba4--8;,i began to correct a little volume ( my private writ+s4 ,god1 ,i believe1 rem>kably help$ me 9 x2 my /r5g? 0 surpris+ly l5g!n$ out1 my ?\ghts 7 quick & lively1 & my s\l refre%$1 hop+ x might be a "w = ,god4 ,o h[ good1 h[ sweet x is to labor = ,god6 ,sept4 #bb4--8,0 aga9 employ$ 9 read+ & correct+1 & _h ! same success z ! day be=e4 ,i 0 exce$+ weak1 b x seem$ to refre% my s\l ?us to sp5d "t4 ,sept4 #bc4--8;,i f9i%$ my corrections ( ! little piece be=e m5tion$1 & felt uncommonly peaceful2 x seem$ z if ,i _h n[ done all my "w 9 ?is _w1 & /ood ready = my call to a bett]4 ,z long z ,i see any ?+ to be done = ,god1 life is wor? hav+2 b ,o h[ va9 & unwor?y x is to live = any l[] end6 ,?is day ,i indit$ a lett]1 ,i ?9k1 ( great importance1 to ! ,rev4 ,mr4 ,byram1 9 ,new-,j]sey4 ,oh t ,god w\ld bless & succe$ t lett]1 :i* 0 writt5 = ! b5efit ( 8 *ur*6,j ,oh t ,god w\ld #8purify ! sons ( ,levi1' t 8 glory may be advanc$6 ,?is night ,i endur$ a dreadful turn1 :]e9 my life 0 expect$ sc>ce an h\r or m9ute4 ,b1 bless$ be ,god1 ,i h enjoy$ consid]able sweetness 9 div9e ?+s ?is week1 bo? by night & day4 ,footnote ,j3 ,x 0 conc]n+ ! qualifications ( m9i/]s1 & ! exam9ation & lic5s+ ( c&idates = ! "w ( ! m9i/ry4 ,sept4 #bd4--8,my /r5g? began to fail exce$+ly2 :i* look$1 fur!r1 z if ,i _h done all my "w3 h[ev]1 ,i _h /r5g? to fold & sup]scribe my lett]4 ,ab\t two ,i w5t to b$1 be+ weak & mu* disord]$1 & lay 9 a burn+ fev] till night1 )\t any prop] re/4 ,9 ! ev5+ ,i got up1 hav+ la9 d[n 9 "s ( my clo!s2 b 0 9 ! greate/ di/ress1 hav+ an uncommon k9d ( hicc\gh2 :i* ei!r /rangl$ me1 or ?rew me into a /ra9+ to vomit1 accompani$ ) o!r grip+ pa9s4 ,o ! di/ress ( ?is ev5+6 ,i _h little expectation ( liv+ ! night ?r\gh1 nor inde$ _h any ab\t me2 & ,i long$ = ! f9i%+ mom5t6 ,i 0 oblig$ to repair to b$ by six o'clock2 & ?r\gh m]cy enjoy$ "s re/2 b 0 griev\sly di/ress$ at turns ) ! hicc\gh4 ,my s\l brea!d aft] ,god1 #8,:5 %all ,i come to ,god1 ev5 to ,god1 my exce$+ joy8' ,oh = 8 bless$ lik5ess6 ,sept4 #be4--8;,i 0 unspeakably weak1 & little bett] ?an spee*less all ! day2 h[ev]1 ,i 0 able to write a little1 & "s "p ( ! day 0 com=table4 ,o x refre%$ my s\l to ?9k ( =m] ?+s1 ( desires to glorify ,god1 ( ! pleasures ( liv+ to him6 ,o1 bless$ ,god1 ,i am spe$ily com+ to !e1 ,i hope4 ,ha/5 ! day1 ,o ,"l1 if x be ?y bless$ w4 ,o come1 ,"l ,jesus1 come quickly4 ,am54,k ,footnote ,k3 ,?is 0 ! la/ "t t ev] he wrote 9 8 di>y ) 8 own h&2 ?\gh x is cont9u$ a little f>!r1 9 a brok5 mann]2 writt5 by 8 bro!r ,israel1 b indit$ by 8 m\?1 9 ?is 8 weak & dy+ /ate4 ,sept4 #bf4--8;,i felt ! sweetness ( div9e ?+s ?is =5oon1 & _h ! consolation ( a consci\sness t ,i 0 do+ some?+ = ,god4 ,"l's day1 ,sept4 #bg4--8,?is 0 a v com=table day to my s\l2 ,i ?9k1 ,i awoke ) ,god4 ,i 0 enabl$ to lift up my s\l to ,god1 e>ly ?is morn+2 & :ile ,i _h little bodily /r5g?1 ,i f\nd fre$om to lift up my he>t to ,god = myself & o!rs4 ,aft]w>d1 0 pleas$ ) ! ?\ghts ( spe$ily ent]+ into ! unse5 _w40 ,he felt ?is morn+ an unusual appetite = food1 ) :i* 8 m9d seem$ to be exhil>at$1 look+ on x z a sign ( ! v ne> approa* ( dea?4 ,at ?is "t he also said1 8,i 0 born on a ,sabba?-day1 & ,i h reason to ?9k ,i 0 new-born on a ,sabba?-day2 & ,i hope ,i %all die on ?is ,sabba?-day4 ,i %all look ^u x z a favor1 if x may be ! w ( ,god t x %\ld be s3 ,i long = ! "t4 ,o1 :y is 8 *>iot s long 9 com+8 :y t>ry ! :eels ( 8 *>iot8 ,i am v will+ to "p ) all3 ,i am will+ to "p ) my de> bro!r ,john1 & nev] to see him aga91 to g to be = ev] ) ! ,"l4,l ,o1 :5 ,i g !re1 h[ w ,god's de> *ur* on e>? be ^u my m9d60 ,footnote ,l3 ,he _h1 be=e ?is1 express$ a desire1 if x might be ! w ( ,god1 to live till 8 bro!r return$ f ,new-,j]sey3 :o1 :5 he w5t away1 int5d$1 if possible1 to p]=m 8 j\rney1 & return 9 a =tnight2 hop+ once m to meet 8 bro!r 9 ! l& ( ! liv+4 ,! =tnight 0 n[ ne>ly expir$4 ,aft]w>d1 ! same morn+1 be+ ask$ h[ he did1 he answ]$1 8,i am almo/ 9 et]nity2 ,i long to be !re4 ,my "w is done2 ,i h done ) all my fri5ds3 all ! _w is no?+ to me4 ,i long to be 9 heav51 prais+ & glorify+ ,god ) ! holy angels4 ,all my desire is to glorify ,god40 ,illu/ration3 ,presid5t ,edw>ds' ,h\se1 ,nor?ampton1 ,massa*usetts4 ,dur+ ! :ole ( ^! la/ two weeks ( 8 life1 he seem$ to cont9ue 9 ?is frame ( he>t1 z hav+ f9i%$ 8 "w1 & done ) all ?+s "h bel[4 ,he _h n[ no?+ to d b to die1 & to abide 9 an e>ne/ desire & expectation ( ! happy mom5t1 :5 8 s\l %\ld take its flight to a /ate ( p]fect hol9ess1 9 :i* he %\ld be f\nd p]fectly glorify+ & enjoy+ ,god4 ,he said1 8! consid]ation ( ! day ( dea?1 & ! day ( judgm5t1 _h a long "t be5 peculi>ly sweet to him40 ,f "t to "t he spake ( 8 be+ will+ to leave ! body & ! _w imm$iately--t day1 t night1 t mom5t--if x 0 ! w ( ,god4 ,he also 0 mu* engag$ 9 express+ 8 long+s t ! ,*ur* ( ,*ri/ on e>? might fl\ri%1 & ,*ri/'s k+dom "h be advanc$1 not)/&+ he 0 ab\t to leave ! e>?1 & %\ld n ) 8 eyes behold ! desirable ev5t1 nor be in/rum5tal 9 promot+ x4 ,he said to me1 "o morn+1 z ,i came into 8 room1 8,my ?\ghts h be5 employ$ on ! old de> !me1 ! prosp]ity ( ,god's *ur* on e>?4 ,z ,i wak$ out ( sleep1 ,i 0 l$ to cry = ! p\r+ out ( ,god's ,_s1 & ! advancem5t ( ,*ri/'s k+dom1 = :i* ! ,r$eem] did & suff]$ s mu*4 ,x is t especially :i* makes me long = x40 ,he express$ mu* hope t a glori\s advancem5t ( ,*ri/'s k+dom 0 ne> at h&4 ,he once told me1 t 8he _h =m]ly long$ = ! outp\r+ ( ! ,_s ( ,god1 & ! glori\s times ( ! *ur*1 & hop$ !y 7 com+2 & t he %\ld h be5 will+ to live to promote religion at t "t if t _h be5 ! w ( ,god3 b10 says he1 8,i am will+ x %\ld be z x is2 ,i w\ld n h ! *oice to make = myself1 = t5 ?\s& worlds40 ,he express$ on 8 dea?-b$ a full p]suasion t he %\ld 9 heav5 see ! prosp]ity ( ! *ur* on e>?1 & %\ld rejoice ) ,*ri/ !re92 & ! consid]ation ( x seem$ to be highly pleas+ & satisfy+ to 8 m9d4 ,he also /ill dwelt mu* on ! great importance ( ! "w ( gospel m9i/]s1 & express$ 8 long+s t !y might be fill$ ) ! ,_s ( ,god4 ,he manife/$ mu* desire to see "s ( ! neighbor+ m9i/]s ) :om he _h "s acqua9tance1 & ( ^: s9c]e fri5d%ip he 0 confid5t1 t he might conv]se freely ) !m on t subject be=e he di$4 ,& x s happ5$1 t he _h opportunity ) "s ( !m accord+ to 8 desire4 ,ano!r ?+ t lay mu* on 8 he>t f "t to "t1 9 ^! ne> approa*es ( dea?1 0 ! spiritual prosp]ity ( 8 own congregation ( ,*ri/ian ,indians 9 ,new-,j]sey2 :5 he spake ( !m1 x 0 ) peculi> t5d]ness1 s t 8 spee* w\ld be pres5tly int]rupt$ & dr[n$ ) te>s4 ,he also express$ mu* satisfaction 9 ! disposal ( ,provid5ce ) reg>d to ! circum/ances ( 8 dea?2 p>ticul>ly t ,god _h be=e 8 dea? giv5 him an opportunity 9 ,bo/on1 ) s _m consid]able p]sons1 m9i/]s & o!rs1 to give 9 8 te/imony = ,god aga9/ false religion1 & _m mi/akes t lead to x & promote x4 ,he 0 mu* pleas$ t he _h _h an opportunity !re to lay be=e pi\s & *>itable g5tlem5 ! /ate ( ! ,indians1 & _! necessities1 to s good effect2 & t ,god _h s9ce enabl$ him to write to !m fur!r conc]n+ ^! affairs2 & to write o!r lett]s ( importance1 :i* he hop$ might be ( good influ5ce ) reg>d to ! /ate ( religion among ! ,indians1 & else:]e1 aft] 8 dea?4 ,he express$ great ?ankfulness to ,god = 8 m]cy 9 ^! ?+s4 ,he also m5tion$ x z :at he acc\nt$ a m]ciful circum/ance ( 8 dea?1 t he %\ld die "h4 ,speak+ ( ^! ?+s1 he said1 8,god _h grant$ him all 8 desire20 & signifi$ t n[ he c\ld joyfully leave ! _w4 ,sept4 #bh4--8;,i 0 able to read & make "s few corrections 9 my private writ+s1 b f\nd ,i c\ld n write z ,i _h done2 ,i f\nd myself s5sibly decl9$ 9 all respects4 ,x has be5 only f a little :ile be=e noon till ab\t "o or two o'clock1 t ,i h be5 able to d any ?+ = "s "t pa/2 yet x refre%$ my he>t t ,i c\ld d any ?+1 ei!r public or private1 t ,i hop$ 0 = ,god40 ,?is ev5+ he 0 suppos$ to be dy+1 bo? by himself & by ^? ab\t him4 ,he seem$ glad at ! appe>ance ( ! ne> approa* ( dea?4 ,he 0 almo/ spee*less1 b 8 lips appe>$ to move1 & "o t sat v ne> him he>d him utt] su* expressions z ^!3 8,come1 ,"l ,jesus1 come quickly4 ,o :y is 8 *>iot s long 9 com+80 ,aft] he reviv$1 he blam$ himself = hav+ be5 too eag] to be gone4 ,& 9 express+ :at 0 ! frame ( 8 m9d at t "t1 he said he !n f\nd an inexpressibly sweet love to ^? :om he look$ ^u z belong+ to ,*ri/1 beyond almo/ all t ev] he felt be=e2 s t x seem$1 to use 8 own words1 8l a little piece ( heav5 to h "o ( !m ne> him40 ,& be+ ask$ :e!r he he>d ! pray] t 01 at 8 desire1 made ) him1 he said1 8,yes1 he he>d e ^w1 & _h an uncommon s5se ( ! ?+s t 7 utt]$ 9 t pray]1 & t e ^w rea*$ 8 he>t40 ,on ! ev5+ ( ,tuesday ,sept4 #bi1 z he lay on 8 b$1 he seem$ to be 9 an extraord9>y frame2 8 m9d greatly engag$ 9 sweet m$itations conc]n+ ! prosp]ity ( ,zion4 ,!re be+ pres5t "h1 at t "t1 two "y g5tlem5 ( 8 acqua9tance1 :o 7 c&idates = ! m9i/ry1 he desir$ u all to unite 9 s++ a psalm on t subject1 ev5 ,zion's prosp]ity4 ,& on 8 desire we sung a "p ( ! #ajb;d psalm4 ,?is seem$ mu* to refre% & revive him1 & gave him new /r5g?2 s t ?\gh be=e1 he c\ld sc>cely speak at all1 n[ he proce$$1 ) "s fre$om ( spee*1 to give 8 dy+ c\nsels to ^! "y g5tlem5 relative to _! prep>ation = ! great "w ( ! m9i/ry2 & 9 p>ticul>1 e>ne/ly recomm5d$ to !m frequ5t secret fa/+ & pray]2 & en=c$ 8 c\nsel ) reg>d to ?is1 f 8 own exp]i5ce ( ! great com=t & b5efit ( x2 8:i*10 said he1 8,i %\ld n m5tion1 7 x n t ,i am a dy+ p]son40 ,aft] he _h f9i%$ 8 c\nsel1 he made a pray] 9 ! audi5ce ( u all2 :]e91 besides pray+ = ?is family1 = 8 bre?r51 & ^? c&idates = ! m9i/ry1 & = 8 own congregation1 he e>ne/ly pray$ = ! reviv+ & fl\ri%+ ( religion 9 ! _w4--,till n[1 he _h e day sat up "p ( ! day2 b aft] ?is he nev] rose f 8 b$4 ,sept4 #cj4--8;,i 0 oblig$ to keep my b$ ! :ole day1 ?r\gh weakness4 ,h[ev]1 r$eem$ a little "t1 &1 ) ! help ( my bro!r1 read & correct$ ab\t a doz5 pages 9 my manuscript1 giv+ an acc\nt ( my conv]sion4 ,oct4 #a4--8;,i endeavor$ aga9 to d some?+ by way ( writ+1 b soon f\nd my p[]s ( body & m9d utt]ly fail4 ,felt n s sweetly z :5 ,i 0 able to d some?+ :i* ,i hop$ w\ld d "s good4 ,9 ! ev5+1 0 discompos$ & :olly deliri\s2 b x 0 n long be=e ,god 0 pleas$ to give me "s sleep1 & fully compose my m9d4,m ,o bless$ be ,god = 8 great goodness to me1 s9ce ,i 0 s l[ at ,mr4 ,bloomfield's on ,?ursday1 ,june #ah4 ,he has1 except ^? few m9utes1 giv5 me ! cle> ex]cise ( my reason1 & enabl$ me to labor mu* = him 9 ?+s bo? ( a public & private nature1 & p]haps to d m good ?an ,i %\ld h done if ,i _h be5 well2 besides ! com=table influ5ces ( 8 bless$ ,_s1 ) :i* he has be5 pleas$ to refre% my s\l4 ,may 8 "n h all ! glory = ev] & ev]4 ,am54 ,footnote ,m3 ,f ?is "t =w>d he _h ! free use ( 8 reason till ! day be=e 8 dea?2 except t at "s times he appe>$ a little lo/ = a mom5t :5 fir/ wak+ out ( sleep4 ,oct4 #b4--8,my s\l 0 ?is day1 at turns1 sweetly set on ,god3 ,i long$ to be ) him1 t ,i might behold 8 glory4 ,i felt sweetly dispos$ to commit all to him1 ev5 my de>e/ fri5ds1 my de>e/ flock1 my abs5t bro!r1 & all my conc]ns = "t & et]nity4 ,o t 8 k+dom might come 9 ! _w2 t !y might all love & glorify him = :at he is 9 himself2 & t ! bless$ ,r$eem] might #8see ( ! travail ( 8 s\l1 & be satisfi$6' ,o come1 ,"l ,jesus1 come quickly6 ,am540 ,"h ends 8 di>y4 ,^! are ! la/ words :i* are writt5 9 x1 ei!r by 8 own h&1 or by any o!r f 8 m\?4 ,! next ev5+ we v mu* expect$ 8 bro!r ,john f ,new-,j]sey2 x be+ ab\t a week aft] ! "t t he propos$ = 8 return1 :5 he w5t away4 ,?\gh our expectations 7 /ill disappo9t$1 yet ,,bra9]d seem$ to cont9u$ unmov$1 9 ! same calm & peaceful frame :i* he _h be=e manife/$2 z hav+ resign$ all to ,god1 & hav+ done ) 8 fri5ds1 & ) all ?+s "h bel[4 ,on ! morn+ ( ! next day1 be+ ,"l's day1 ,oct4 #d1 z my daught] ,j]u%a1 :o *iefly att5d$ him1 came into ! room1 he look$ on h] v pleasantly1 & said1 8,de> ,j]u%a1 are y will+ to "p ) me80--8,i am q will+ to "p ) y3 ,i am will+ to "p ) all my fri5ds3 ,i am will+ to "p ) my de> bro!r ,john1 al?\gh ,i love him ! be/ ( any creature liv+3 ,i h committ$ him & all my fri5ds to ,god1 & c leave !m ) ,god4 ,?\gh1 if ,i ?\ght ,i %\ld n see y1 & be happy ) y 9 ano!r _w1 ,i c\ld n be> to "p ) y4 ,b we %all sp5d an happy et]nity toge!r60,n ,9 ! ev5+1 z "o came into ! room ) a ,bible 9 h] h&1 he express$ himself ?us3 8,o t de> book--t lovely book6 ,i %all soon see x op5$6 ,! my/]ies t are 9 x1 & ! my/]ies ( ,god's provid5ce1 w be all unfold$60 ,footnote ,n3 ,9 ab\t f\r mon?s1 x pleas$ a holy & sov]eign ,god to take away ?is my de> *ild by dea?1 on ! #ad? ( ,febru>y1 aft] a %ort illness ( five days1 9 ! eighte5? ye> ( h] age4 ,%e 0 a p]son ( mu* ! same _s ) ,,bra9]d4 ,%e _h con/antly tak5 c>e (1 & att5d$ him 9 8 sickness1 = n9ete5 weeks be=e 8 dea?2 devot+ h]self to him ) great delight1 because %e look$ on him z an em95t s]vant ( ,jesus ,*ri/4 ,9 ?is "t he _h mu* conv]sation ) h] on ! ?+s ( religion2 & 9 8 dy+ /ate1 (t5 express$ to u1 h] p>5ts1 8 great satisfaction conc]n+ h] true piety1 & 8 confid5ce t he %\ld meet h] 9 heav54 ,%e _h manife/$ a he>t uncommonly devot$ to ,god2 & said on h] dea?-b$1 t 8%e _h se5 no "t = sev]al ye>s1 :5 %e desir$ to live "o m9ute long]1 = ! sake ( any o!r good 9 life1 b do+ good1 liv+ to ,god1 & do+ :at might be = 8 glory40 ,on ,tuesday1 ,oct4 #f1 he lay = a consid]able "t z if he 7 dy+2 at :i* "t he 0 he>d to utt]1 9 brok5 :isp]s1 su* expressions z ^!3 8,he w come1 he w n t>ry4 ,i %all soon be 9 glory4 ,i %all soon glorify ,god ) ! angels40--,b aft] "s "t he reviv$4 ,! next day1 ,w$nesday1 ,oct4 #g1 8 bro!r ,john arriv$ f ,new-,j]sey2 :]e he _h be5 deta9$ mu* long] ?an he int5d$1 by a mortal sickness prevail+ among ! *ri/ian ,indians1 & by "s o!r circum/ances t made 8 /ay ) !m necess>y4 ,,bra9]d 0 affect$ & refre%$ ) see+ him1 & appe>$ fully satisfi$ ) ! reasons ( 8 delay2 see+ ! int]e/ ( religion & ! s\ls ( 8 p requir$ x4 ,! next day1 ,?ursday1 ,oct4 #h1 he 0 9 great di/ress & agonies ( body2 & = ! great] "p ( ! day 0 mu* disord]$ z to ! ex]cise ( 8 reason4 ,9 ! ev5+ he 0 compos$1 & _h ! use ( 8 reason2 b ! pa9 ( 8 body cont9u$ & increas$4 ,he told me t x 0 impossible = any "o to conceive ( ! di/ress he felt 9 8 brea/4 ,he manife/$ mu* conc]n le/ he %\ld di%onor ,god by impati5ce "u 8 extreme agony2 :i* 0 su*1 t he said ! ?\ght ( endur+ x "o mom5t long] 0 almo/ insupportable4 ,he desir$ t o!rs w\ld be mu* 9 lift+ up _! he>ts cont9ually to ,god = him1 t ,god w\ld support him1 & give him pati5ce4 ,he signifi$ t he expect$ to die t night2 b seem$ to fe> a long] delay2 & ! disposition ( 8 m9d ) reg>d to dea?1 appe>$ /ill ! same t x _h be5 all along4 ,& not)/&+ 8 bodily agonies1 yet ! int]e/ ( ,zion lay /ill ) great weight on 8 m9d4 ,on t ev5+ he _h consid]able disc\rse ) ! ,rev4 ,mr4 ,bill+1 "o ( ! neighbor+ m9i/]s1 conc]n+ ! great importance ( ! "w ( ! m9i/ry4 ,aft]w>d1 late 9 ! night1 he _h mu* v prop] & pr(itable disc\rse ) 8 bro!r ,john1 conc]n+ 8 congregation 9 ,new-,j]sey1 & ! int]e/ ( religion among ! ,indians4 ,9 ! latt] "p ( ! night 8 bodily di/ress seem$ to rise to a great] height ?an ev]4 ,t[>d day 8 eyes became fix$2 & he cont9u$ ly+ immovable till ab\t six o'clock on ,friday1 ,oct4 #i1 #agdg1 :5 8 s\l1 z we may well conclude1 0 receiv$ by 8 de> ,"l & ,ma/] into t /ate ( p]fection ( hol9ess1 & fruition ( ,god1 = :i* he _h s (t5 & s ard5tly long$2 & 0 welcom$ by ! glori\s assembly 9 ! upp] _w1 z "o peculi>ly fitt$ to jo9 !m 9 _! bless$ employ & enjoym5t4 ,mu* respect 0 %[n to 8 memory at 8 fun]al2 :i* 0 on ! ,monday foll[+1 aft] a s]mon prea*$ on t solemn occasion4 ,8 fun]al 0 att5d$ by eight ( ! neighbor+ m9i/]s1 & a great conc\rse ( p4 ,,*apt] ,x4 ,reflections on ! prec$+ ,memoirs4 ,,reflection ,i4 ,9 ! life ( ,,bra9]d we may see1 z ,i appreh5d1 ! nature ( true religion1 & ! mann] ( its op]ation1 :5 exemplifi$ 9 a high degree & 9 p[]ful ex]cise4 ,p>ticul>ly x may be wor?y to be obs]v$3 #a4 ,h[ greatly ,,bra9]d',s religion diff]$ f t ( "s pret5d]s to ! exp]i5ce ( a cle> "w ( sav+ conv]sion wr\ght on _! he>ts2 :o1 dep5d+ & liv+ on t1 settle 9 a cold1 c>eless1 & c>nal frame ( m9d1 & 9 a neglect ( a ?or\gh1 e>ne/ religion1 9 ! /at$ practice ( x4 ,al?\gh 8 convictions & conv]sion 7 9 all respects exce$+ly cle>1 & v rem>kable2 yet h[ f> 0 he f act+ z ?\gh he ?\ght he _h got ?r\gh 8 "w1 :5 once he _h obta9$ com=t1 & satisfaction ( 8 int]e/ 9 ,*ri/ & a title to heav56 ,on ! contr>y1 t "w on 8 he>t1 by :i* he 0 br\ght to ?is1 0 ) him evid5tly b ! beg9n+ ( 8 "w2 8 fir/ ent]+ on ! great bus9ess ( religion1 & ! s]vice ( ,god2 8 fir/ sett+ out 9 8 race4 ,8 "w 0 n f9i%$1 nor 8 race end$1 till life 0 end$4 ,z 8 conv]sion 0 n ! end ( 8 "w1 or ( ! c\rse ( 8 dilig5ce & /riv+s 9 religion1 s nei!r 0 x ! end ( ! "w ( ! ,_s ( ,god on 8 he>t4 ,on ! contr>y1 x 0 ! fir/ dawn+ ( ! light1 :i* !nce=? increas$ m & m2 ! beg9n+ ( 8 holy affections1 8 sorr[ = s91 8 love to ,god1 8 rejoic+ 9 ,jesus ,*ri/1 8 long+ aft] hol9ess4 ,!re are _m1 :o1 aft] ! effect ( novelty is ov]1 soon f9d _! situation & feel+s v mu* ! same z be=e _! suppos$ conv]sion1 ) respect to any pres5t ?ir/+s = ,god1 or ard5t out-go+s ( _! s\ls aft] div9e objects4 ,n[ & !n1 inde$1 !y h a com=table reflection on ! pa/1 & are some:at affect$ ) ! remembrance1 & s re/ easy1 ?9k+ t x is safe2 & !y d\bt n b !y %all g to heav5 :5 !y die4 ,f> o!rwise 0 x ) ,,bra9]d4 ,8 exp]i5ces1 in/ead ( dy+ away1 7 evid5tly ( an increas+ nature4 ,8 fir/ love1 & o!r holy affections1 ev5 at ! beg9n+1 7 v great2 b1 aft] ! lapse ( mon?s & ye>s1 became mu* great] & m rem>kable4 #b4 ,8 religion app>5tly & greatly diff]$ f t ( _m high pret5d]s to religion1 :o are frequ5tly actuat$ by vehem5t emotions ( m9d1 & are c>ri$ on 9 a c\rse ( sudd5 & /rong impressions1 & suppos$ high illum9ations & imm$iate discov]ies2 & at ! same "t are p]sons ( a virul5t 8zeal1 n accord+ to k40 ,if we look ?r\gh ! :ole s]ies ( 8 exp]i5ce1 f 8 conv]sion to 8 dea?1 we %all f9d none ( ?is k9d--no imag9>y sight ( ,*ri/ hang+ on ! cross ) 8 blood /ream+ f 8 w\nds2 or ) a c\nt5ance smil+ on him2 or arms op5 to embrace him3 no sight ( ! book ( life op5$1 ) 8 "n writt5 9 x2 no he>+ ,god or ,*ri/ speak+ to him2 nor any sudd5 sugge/ions ( words or s5t5ces1 ei!r ( ,scripture or any o!r1 z !n imm$iately spok5 or s5t to him2 no new revelations2 no sudd5 /rong sugge/ions ( secret facts4 ,nor d ,i f9d any "o in/ance 9 all ! records :i* he has left ( 8 own life1 f beg9n+ to end1 ( joy excit$ f a suppos$ imm$iate witness ( ! ,_s2 or inw>d imm$iate sugge/ion1 t 8 /ate 0 surely good4 ,b ! way 9 :i* he 0 satisfi$ ( 8 own good e/ate1 ev5 to ! entire aboli%+ ( fe>1 0 by feel+ )9 himself ! lively act+s ( a holy temp] & heav5ly disposition1 ! vigor\s ex]cises ( t div9e 8love :i* ca/e? out fe>40 #c4 ,,bra9]d',s religion 0 n selfi% & m]c5>y2 8 love to ,god 0 prim>ily & pr9cipally = ! supreme excell5cy ( 8 own nature1 & n built on a preconceiv$ notion t ,god lov$ him1 _h receiv$ him into favor1 & _h done great ?+s = him1 or promis$ great ?+s to him4 ,8 joy 0 joy 9 ,god1 & n 9 himself4 ,we see by 8 di>y h[1 f "t to "t1 ?r\gh ! c\rse ( 8 life1 8 s\l 0 fill$ ) ineffable sweetness & com=t4 ,! affect+ consid]ations & lively ideas ( ,god's inf9ite glory1 8 un*angeable bless$ness1 8 sov]eignty & univ]sal dom9ion2 toge!r ) ! sweet ex]cises ( love to ,god1 giv+ himself up to him1 abas+ himself be=e him1 d5y+ himself = him1 dep5d+ ^u him1 act+ = 8 glory1 dilig5tly s]v+ him2 & ! pleas+ prospects or hopes he _h ( ! future advancem5t ( ! k+dom ( ,*ri/1 7 ! gr\nds ( 8 /rong & abid+ consolation4 ,x appe>s pla9ly & abundantly all along1 f 8 conv]sion to 8 dea?1 t ! sort ( good :i* 0 ! great object ( ! new reli% & appetite giv5 him 9 conv]sion1 & !nce=w>d ma9ta9$ & increas$ 9 8 he>t1 0 ,,hol9ess1 con=mity to ,god1 liv+ to ,god1 & glorify+ him4 ,?is 0 :at drew 8 he>t2 ?is 0 ! c5tre ( 8 s\l2 ?is 0 ! ocean to :i* all ! /reams ( 8 religi\s affections t5d$2 ?is 0 ! object :i* engag$ 8 eag] ?ir/+ desires & e>ne/ pursuits4 ,he knew no true excell5cy or happ9ess b ?is2 ?is 0 :at he long$ = mo/ vehem5tly & con/antly on e>?2 & ?is 0 ) him ! beauty & bless$ness ( heav54 ,?is made him s mu* & s (t5 long = t _w ( glory4 ,x 0 to be p]fectly holy1 & p]fectly ex]cis$ 9 ! holy employm5ts ( heav52 & ?us 8to glorify ,god & enjoy him = ev]40 ,8 religi\s illum9ations1 affections1 & com=t1 seem$1 to a great degree1 to be att5d$ ) evangelical humiliation2 consi/+ 9 a s5se ( 8 own utt] insuffici5cy1 despicabl5ess1 & odi\sness2 ) an answ]able disposition & frame ( he>t4 ,h[ deeply affect$ 0 he almo/ cont9ually ) 8 great defects 9 religion2 ) 8 va/ di/ance f t spirituality & holy frame ( m9d t became him2 ) 8 ignorance1 pride1 deadness1 un/ead9ess1 b>r5ness6 ,he 0 n only affect$ ) ! remembrance ( 8 =m] s9fulness be=e 8 conv]sion1 b ) ! s5se ( 8 pres5t vil5ess & pollution4 ,he 0 n only dispos$ to ?9k meanly ( himself z be=e ,god1 & 9 comp>ison ( him2 b among m51 & z comp>$ ) !m4 ,he 0 apt to ?9k o!r sa9ts bett] ?an himself2 yea1 to look on himself z ! meane/ & lea/ ( sa9ts2 yea1 v (t51 z ! vile/ & wor/ ( mank9d4 ,& not)/&+ 8 great atta9m5ts 9 spiritual k1 yet we f9d !re is sc>cely any ?+1 ) a s5se ( :i* he is m frequ5tly affect$ & abas$1 ?an 8 ignorance4 ,h[ em95tly did he appe> to be ( a meek & quiet _s1 resembl+ ! lamb-l1 dove-l _s ( ,jesus ,*ri/6 ,h[ full ( love1 meekness1 quietness1 =giv5ess1 & m]cy6 ,8 love 0 n m]ely a fondness & zeal = a p>ty1 b an univ]sal b5evol5ce2 v (t5 ex]cis$ 9 ! mo/ s5sible & ard5t love to 8 greate/ oppos]s & enemies4 ,( h[ s(t & t5d] a _s 0 he6 ,h[ f> 7 8 exp]i5ces1 hopes1 & joys1 f a t5d5cy f9ally to /upify & h>d5 him1 to less5 convictions & t5d]ness ( consci5ce1 to cause him to be less affect$ ) pres5t & pa/ s9s1 & less consci5ti\s ) respect to future s9s6 ,h[ f> 7 !y f mak+ him m easy 9 neglect ( duties :i* are tr\blesome & inconv5i5t1 m sl[ & p>tial 9 comply+ ) difficult comm&s1 less apt to be al>m$ at ! appe>ance ( 8 own defects & transgressions1 m easily induc$ to a compliance ) c>nal appetites6 ,on ! contr>y1 h[ t5d] 0 8 consci5ce6 h[ apt 0 8 he>t to smite him6 h[ easily & greatly 0 he al>m$ at ! appe>ance ( moral evil6 h[ great & con/ant 0 8 jeal\sy ov] 8 own he>t6 h[ /rict 8 c>e & wat*fulness aga9/ s96 h[ deep & s5sible 7 ! w\nds t s9 made 9 8 consci5ce6 ,^? evils :i* are g5]ally acc\nt$ small1 7 almo/ an insupportable burd5 to him2 su* z 8 inw>d defici5cies1 8 hav+ no m love to ,god1 f9d+ )9 himself any slackness or dullness 9 religion1 any un/ead9ess or w&]+ frame ( m9d4 ,h[ did ! consid]ation ( su* ?+s z ^! oppress & abase him1 & fill him ) inw>d %ame & confusion6 ,8 love & hope1 ?\gh !y 7 su* z ca/ out a s]vile fe> ( hell1 yet 7 att5d$ )1 & abundantly *]i%$ & promot$ a rev]5tial filial fe> ( ,god1 a dread ( s9 & ( ,god's holy displeasure4 ,8 joy seem$ truly to be a rejoic+ ) trembl+4 ,8 assurance & com=t diff]$ greatly f a false en?usia/ic confid5ce & joy1 9 t x promot$ & ma9ta9$ m\rn+ = s94 ,he did n1 aft] he receiv$ com=t & full satisfaction ( ! safety ( 8 /ate1 =get 8 pa/ s9s1 :e!r committ$ be=e or aft] 8 conv]sion2 b ! remembrance ( !m1 f "t to "t1 reviv$ 9 8 he>t ) r5ew$ grief4 ,t passage 0 evid5tly fulfill$ 9 him1 8,t ?\ maye/ rememb]1 & be conf\nd$1 & nev] op5 ?y m\? any m1 because ( ?y %ame2 :5 ,i am pacifi$ t[>d !e = all t ?\ ha/ done40 ,ezek4 #af3fc4 ,8 religi\s affections & joys 7 n l ^? ( "s1 :o h rapture & mighty emotions f "t to "t 9 company2 b h v little affection 9 retirem5t & secret places4 ,?\gh he 0 ( a v sociable temp]1 & lov$ ! company ( sa9ts1 & delight$ v mu* 9 religi\s conv]sation1 & 9 social wor%ip2 yet 8 w>me/ affections1 & _! greate/ effects on 8 animal nature1 & 8 sweete/ joys1 7 9 8 closet devotions1 & solit>y transactions betwe5 ,god & 8 own s\l3 z is v obs]vable ?r\gh 8 :ole c\rse1 f 8 conv]sion to 8 dea?4 ,he delight$ greatly 9 sacr$ retirem5ts2 & lov$ to get q away f all ! _w1 to conv]se ) ,god alone1 9 secret duties4 ,,bra9]d',s exp]i5ces & com=ts 7 v f> f be+ l ^? ( "s p]sons1 :i* are att5d$ ) a spiritual satiety1 & :i* put an end to _! religi\s desires & long+s1 at lea/ to ! edge & ard5cy ( !m2 re/+ satisfi$ 9 _! own atta9m5ts & com=ts1 z hav+ obta9$ _! *ief end1 :i* is to ext+ui% _! fe>s ( hell1 & give !m confid5ce ( ! favor ( ,god4 ,on ! contr>y1 !y 7 always att5d$ ) long+s & ?ir/+s aft] great] degrees ( con=mity to ,god6 ,! great] & sweet] 8 com=ts 71 ! m vehem5t 7 8 desires aft] hol9ess4 ,8 long+s 7 n s mu* aft] joyful discov]ies ( ,god's love1 & cle> views ( 8 own title to future advancem5t & et]nal honors 9 heav52 z aft] m ( pres5t hol9ess1 great] spirituality1 an he>t m engag$ = ,god1 to love1 & exalt1 & dep5d on him4 ,he e>ne/ly wi%$ to s]ve ,god bett]1 to d m = 8 glory1 to d all t he did ) m ( a reg>d to ,*ri/ z 8 righte\sness & /r5g?1 & to behold ! enl>gem5t & advancem5t ( 8 k+dom on e>?4 ,8 desires 7 n idle wi%es1 b su* z 7 p[]ful & effectual1 to animate him to ! e>ne/1 eag] pursuit ( ^! ?+s1 ) ! utmo/ dilig5ce & unfa9t+ labor & self-d5ial4 ,8 com=ts nev] put an end to 8 seek+ aft] ,god1 & /riv+ to obta9 8 grace2 b1 on ! contr>y1 greatly engag$ him !re94 #d4 ,8 religion did n consi/ 9 exp]i5ce )\t practice4 ,all 8 inw>d illum9ations1 affections1 & com=ts1 seem$ to h a direct t5d5cy to practice1 & to issue 9 x3 & ?is1 n m]ely a practice negatively good1 free f gross acts ( irreligion & immorality2 b a practice positively holy & ,*ri/ian1 9 a s]i\s1 dev\t1 humble1 meek1 m]ciful1 *>itable1 & b5efic5t conv]sation2 mak+ ! s]vice ( ,god & our ,"l ,jesus ,*ri/ ! great bus9ess ( life1 to :i* he 0 devot$1 & :i* he pursu$ ) ! greate/ e>ne/ness & dilig5ce to ! end ( 8 days1 ?r\gh all trials4 ,9 him 0 to be se5 ! "r way ( be+ lively 9 religion4 ,8 livel9ess 9 religion did n consi/ m]ely1 or ma9ly1 9 8 be+ lively ) ! tongue1 b 9 de$2 n 9 be+ =w>d 9 pr(ession & outw>d %[1 & abundant 9 decl>+ 8 own exp]i5ces2 b *iefly 9 be+ active & abundant 9 ! labors & duties ( religion2 8n slo?ful 9 bus9ess1 b f]v5t 9 _s1 s]v+ ! ,"l1 & s]v+ 8 g5]ation1 accord+ to ! w ( ,god40 ,,reflection ,,ii4 ,! =ego+ acc\nt ( ,,bra9]d',s life may conv9ce u1 t !re is inde$ su* a ?+ z true exp]im5tal religion1 aris+ f an imm$iate div9e influ5ce1 sup]naturally enlight5+ & conv9c+ ! m9d1 & p[]fully impress+1 quick5+1 sanctify+1 & gov]n+ ! he>t4 ,if any insi/ t ,,bra9]d',s religion 0 m]e en?usiasm1 ! result ( a heat$ imag9ation1 ,i w\ld ask1 ,:at 7 ! ,,fruits ( 8 en?usiasm8 ,9 him we behold a great degree ( hone/y & simplicity2 s9c]e & e>ne/ desires & endeavors to "k & d :atev] is "r1 & to avoid e ?+ t is wrong2 a high degree ( love to ,god2 delight 9 ! p]fections ( 8 nature1 plac+ ! happ9ess ( life 9 him1 n only 9 contemplat+ him1 b 9 be+ active 9 pleas+ & s]v+ him2 a firm & und\bt+ belief 9 ! ,messiah1 z ! ,savior ( ! _w1 ! great ,prophet ( ,god1 & ,k+ ( ! *ur*1 toge!r ) great love to him1 delight & complac5ce 9 ! way ( salvation by him1 & long+ = ! enl>gem5t ( 8 k+dom2 e>ne/ desires t ,god may be glorifi$ & ! ,messiah's k+dom advanc$1 :atev] in/rum5ts are employ$2 uncommon resignation to ! w ( ,god1 & t "u va/ trials2 & great & univ]sal b5evol5ce to mank9d1 rea*+ all sorts ( p]sons )\t di/9ction1 manife/$ 9 sweetness ( spee* & behavior1 k9d treatm5t1 m]cy1 lib]ality1 & e>ne/ly seek+ ! good ( ! s\ls & bodies ( m54 ,all ?is we behold att5d$ ) extraord9>y humility1 meekness1 =giv5ess ( injuries1 & love to enemies4 ,9 him we see a mode/1 discreet1 & dec5t deportm5t1 among sup]iors1 inf]iors1 & equals2 a mo/ dilig5t improvem5t ( "t2 e>ne/ c>e to lose no "p ( x2 & great wat*fulness aga9/ all sorts ( s91 ( he>t1 spee*1 & action4 ,?is example & ^! endeavors we see att5d$ ) mo/ happy fruits1 & bless$ effects on o!rs1 9 humaniz+1 civiliz+1 & wond]fully re=m+ & trans=m+ "s ( ! mo/ bruti% savages2 idle1 immoral drunk>ds1 murd]]s1 gross idolat]s1 & wiz>ds2 br++ !m to p]man5t sobriety1 dilig5ce1 devotion1 hone/y1 consci5ti\sness1 & *>ity4 ,! =ego+ virtues & successful labors all end at la/ 9 a m>vell\s peace1 immovable /ability1 calmness1 & resignation1 9 ! s5sible approa*es ( dea?2 ) long+ = ! heav5ly /ate2 n only = ! honors & circum/antial advantages ( x1 b above all1 = ! moral p]fection & holy & bless$ employm5ts ( x4 ,^! ?+s are se5 9 a p]son indisputably ( good und]/&+ & judgm5t4 ,i !re=e say1 if all ^! ?+s are ! fruits ( en?usiasm1 :y %\ld n en?usiasm be ?\ght a desirable & excell5t ?+8 ,= :at c true religion1 :at c ! be/ philosophy1 d m8 ,,reflection ,,iii4 ,! prec$+ hi/ory s]ves to confirm ! doctr9es ( grace4 ,= if x be all[$ t !re is tru?1 sub/ance1 or value 9 ! ma9 ( ,,bra9]d',s religion1 x w und\bt$ly foll[1 t ^? doctr9es are div9e2 s9ce x is evid5t t ! :ole ( x1 f beg9n+ to end1 accords ) !m4 ,he 0 br\ght1 by doctr9es ( ?is k9d1 to 8 awak5+ & deep conc]n ab\t ?+s ( a spiritual & et]nal nature2 by ^! doctr9es 8 convictions 7 ma9ta9$ & c>ri$ on2 & 8 conv]sion 0 evid5tly altoge!r agreeable to !m4 ,8 conv]sion 0 no confirm+ & p]fect+ ( moral pr9ciples & habits1 by use1 & practice1 & indu/ri\s discipl9e1 toge!r ) ! concurr+ sugge/ions & conspir+ aids ( ,god's ,_s2 b entirely a sup]natural "w1 at once turn+ him f d>kness to m>vell\s light1 & f ! p[] ( s9 to ! dom9ion ( div9e & holy pr9ciples4 ,x 0 an effect1 9 no respect produc$ by 8 /r5g? or labor1 or obta9$ by 8 virtue2 & n accompli%$ till he 0 fir/ br\ght to a full conviction1 t all 8 own virtue1 /r5g?1 labors & endeavors1 c\ld nev] avail any ?+ t[>d produc+ or procur+ ?is effect4 ,if ev] ,,bra9]d 0 truly turn$ f s9 to ,god at all1 or ev] became truly religi\s1 none c reasonably d\bt b t 8 conv]sion 0 at ! "t :5 he suppos$ x to be4 ,! *ange :i* he !n met )1 0 evid5tly ! greate/ moral *ange t he ev] exp]i5c$2 & he 0 !n app>5tly fir/ br\ght to t k9d ( religion1 t rem>kable new habit & temp] ( m9d1 :i* he held all 8 life aft]4 ,! n>ration %[s x to be diff]5t1 9 nature & k9d1 f all ( :i* he 0 ev] ! subject be=e4 ,x 0 evid5tly wr\ght at once )\t fitt+ & prep>+ 8 m9d1 by gradually conv9c+ x m & m ( ! same tru?s1 & br++ x ne>] & ne>] to su* a temp]3 x 0 soon aft] 8 m9d _h be5 rem>kably full ( blasphemy1 & a vehem5t ex]cise ( s5sible enmity aga9/ ,god1 & great opposition to ^? tru?s :i* he 0 n[ br\ght ) 8 :ole s\l to embrace1 & re/ 9 z div9e & glori\s2 tru?s1 9 ! contemplation & improvem5t ( :i* he plac$ 8 happ9ess4 ,he himself1 :o 0 surely be/ able to judge1 decl>es1 t ! dispositions & affections :i* 7 !n giv5 him1 & !nce=w>d ma9ta9$ 9 him1 71 mo/ s5sibly & c]ta9ly1 altoge!r diff]5t 9 _! nature f all ( :i* he 0 ev] ! subject be=e1 or ( :i* he ev] _h any conception4 ,h5ce x is v evid5t t ,,bra9]d',s religion 0 ! effect ( ! doctr9es ( grace appli$ to 8 he>t3 & c]ta9ly x _c be d5i$ t ! effect 0 good1 unless we turn a!i/s or dei/s4 ,i w\ld ask :e!r !re be any su* ?+1 9 reality1 z ,*ri/ian devotion8 ,if !re be1 :at is x8 :at is its nature8 & :at its j measure8 ,%\ld x n be 9 a great degree8 ,we read abundantly 9 ,scripture ( 8lov+ ,god ) all ! he>t1 ) all ! s\l1 ) all ! m9d1 & ) all ! /r5g?2 ( delight+ 9 ,god1 ( rejoic+ 9 ! ,"l1 rejoic+ ) joy unspeakable & full ( glory2 ! s\l magnify+ ! ,"l1 ?ir/+ = ,god1 hung]+ & ?ir/+ aft] righte\sness2 ! s\l break+ = ! long+ x ha? to ,god's judgm5ts1 pray+ to ,god ) groan+s t _c be utt]$1 m\rn+ = s9 ) a brok5 he>t & contrite _s10 c4 ,h[ full are ! ,psalms1 & o!r p>ts ( ,scripture1 ( su* ?+s z ^!6 ,n[ :]e9 d ^! ?+s1 z express$ by & appe>+ 9 ,,bra9]d1 ei!r ! ?+s !mselves1 or _! effects & fruits1 diff] f ! ,scripture repres5tations8 ,to ^! ?+s he 0 br\ght by t /range & wond]ful trans=mation ( ! man1 :i* he call$ 8 conv]sion4 ,does n ?is well agree ) :at is s (t5 said 9 ! ,old ,te/am5t & ! ,new1 conc]n+ 8giv+ a new he>t creat+ a "r _s1 be+ r5ew$ 9 ! _s ( ! m9d1 be+ sanctifi$ ?r\gh\t1 becom+ a new creature80 ,,reflection ,,iv4 ,is !re n mu* 9 ! prec$+ memoirs ( ,,bra9]d to tea*1 & excite to duty1 u :o are call$ to ! "w ( ! m9i/ry1 & all :o are c&idates = t great "w8 ,:at a deep s5se did he seem to h ( ! greatness & importance ( t "w1 & ) :at weight did x lie on 8 m9d6 ,h[ s5sible 0 he ( 8 own insuffici5cy = ?is "w2 & h[ great 0 8 dep5d5ce on ,god's suffici5cy6 ,h[ solicit\s t he might be fitt$ = x6 & to ?is end1 h[ mu* "t did he sp5d 9 pray] & fa/+1 z well z read+ & m$itation2 giv+ himself to ^! ?+s6 ,h[ did he d$icate 8 :ole life1 all 8 p[]s & tal5ts to ,god2 & =sake & r5\nce ! _w1 ) all its pleas+ & ensn>+ enjoym5ts1 t he might be :olly at lib]ty to s]ve ,*ri/ 9 ?is "w1 & to 8please him :o _h *os5 him to be a soldi] "u ! ,capta9 ( our salvation60 ,) :at solicitude1 solemnity & dilig5ce did he devote himself to ,god our ,savior1 & seek 8 pres5ce & bless+ 9 secret1 at ! "t ( 8 ord9ation6 & h[ did 8 :ole he>t appe> to be con/antly engag$1 8 :ole "t employ$1 & 8 :ole /r5g? sp5t 9 ! bus9ess he !n solemnly und]took1 & to :i* he 0 publicly set ap>t6 ,8 hi/ory %[s u ! "r way to success 9 ! "w ( ! m9i/ry4 ,he s\ght x1 z a resolute soldi] seeks victory 9 a siege or battle2 or z a man :o runs a race1 seeks a great prize4 ,animat$ ) love to ,*ri/ & ! s\ls ( m51 h[ did he 8labor always f]v5tly10 n only 9 ^w & doctr9e1 9 public & private1 b 9 pray]s day & night1 8wre/l+ ) ,god0 9 secret1 & 8travail+ 9 bir?10 ) unutt]able groans & agonies1 8until ,*ri/ 7 =m$0 9 ! he>ts ( ! p to :om he 0 s5t6 ,h[ did he ?ir/ = a bless+ on 8 m9i/ry1 & 8wat* = s\ls1 z "o t mu/ give acc\nt60 ,h[ did he 8g =? 9 ! /r5g? ( ! ,"l ,god10 seek+ & dep5d+ on a special influ5ce ( ! ,_s to assi/ & succe$ him6 ,:at 0 ! happy fruit at la/1 ?\gh aft] long wait+1 & _m d>k & disc\rag+ appe>ances8 ,l a true son ( ,jacob1 he p]sev]$ 9 wre/l+1 ?r\gh all ! d>kness ( ! night1 until ! break+ ( ! day4 ,to ,mission>ies 9 p>ticul>1 may 8 example ( labor+1 pray+1 d5y+ himself1 & endur+ h>dness ) unfa9t+ resolution & pati5ce1 & 8 fai?ful1 vigilant1 & prud5t conduct 9 _m o!r respects1 af=d in/ruction4 ,,reflection ,v4 ,! =ego+ acc\nt ( ,,bra9]d',s life may af=d in/ruction to ,*ri/ians 9 g5]al2 z x %[s1 9 _m respects1 ! "r way ( practis+ religion1 9 ord] to obta9 ! ends1 & receive ! b5efits ( x2 or h[ ,*ri/ians %\ld 8run ! race set be=e !m10 if !y w\ld n 8run 9 va91 or run z unc]ta9ly10 b w\ld honor ,god 9 ! _w1 adorn _! pr(ession1 be s]viceable to mank9d1 h ! com=ts ( religion :ile !y live1 be free f disquiet+ d\bts & d>k appreh5sions ab\t ! /ate ( _! s\ls1 enjoy peace 9 ! approa*es ( dea?1 & 8f9i% _! c\rse ) joy40 ,9 g5]al1 he mu* recomm5d$1 = ?is purpose1 ! r$emption ( "t1 great dilig5ce 9 ! bus9ess ( ! ,*ri/ian life1 wat*fulness1 c4 & he v rem>kably exemplifi$ ^! ?+s4 ,p>ticul>ly1 8 example & success ) reg>d to "o duty1 9 an especial mann]1 may be ( great use to bo? m9i/]s & private ,*ri/ians2 ,i mean ! duty ( secret fa/+4 ,! read] has se5 h[ mu* ,,bra9]d recomm5ds ?is duty1 & h[ frequ5tly he ex]cis$ himself 9 x2 nor c x well h escap$ obs]vation1 h[ mu* he 0 own$ & bless$ 9 x1 & ( :at great b5efit x evid5tly 0 to 8 s\l4 ,among all ! _m days he sp5t 9 secret fa/+ & pray]1 ( :i* he gives an acc\nt 9 8 di>y1 !re is sc>cely an in/ance ( "o :i* 0 n ei!r att5d$ or soon foll[$ ) app>5t success1 & a rem>kable bless+1 9 special influ5ces & consolations ( ,god's ,_s2 & v (t5 be=e ! day 0 end$4 ,b x mu/ be obs]v$1 t :5 he set ab\t ?is duty1 he did x 9 good e>ne/2 8/irr+ up himself to take hold ( ,god10 & 8cont9u+ in/ant 9 pray]10 ) mu* ( ! _s ( ,jacob1 :o said to ! angel1 8,i w n let !e g1 except ?\ bless me40 ,,reflection ,,vi4 ,!re is mu* 9 ! prec$+ acc\nt to excite & enc\rage ,god's p to e>ne/ pray]s & endeavors = ! advancem5t & enl>gem5t ( ! k+dom ( ,*ri/ 9 ! _w4 ,,bra9]d set u an excell5t example 9 ?is respect4 ,he s\ght ! prosp]ity ( ,zion ) all 8 might2 & pref]r$ ,j]usalem above 8 *ief joy4 ,h[ did 8 s\l long = x1 & pant aft] x6 h[ e>ne/ly & (t5 did he wre/le ) ,god = x6 & h[ f> did he 9 ^! desires & pray]s seem to be c>ri$ beyond all private & selfi% views6 be+ animat$ by a pure love to ,*ri/1 an e>ne/ desire ( 8 glory1 & a dis9t]e/$ affection to ! s\ls ( mank9d4 ,! consid]ation ( ?is1 n only ought to be an incitem5t to ! p ( ,god1 b may also be a j enc\ragem5t to !m1 to be mu* 9 seek+ & pray+ = a g5]al outp\r+ ( ! ,_s ( ,god1 & an ext5sive revival ( religion4 ,i confess1 t ,god's giv+ s mu* ( a _s ( pray] = ?is m]cy to s em95t a s]vant ( 81 & excit+ him 9 s extraord9>y a mann]1 & ) su* vehem5t ?ir/+s ( s\l1 to agonize 9 pray] = x1 f "t to "t1 ?r\gh ! c\rse ( 8 life1 is "o ?+1 among o!rs1 :i* gives me great hope t ,god has a design ( accompli%+ some?+ v glori\s = ! int]e/ ( 8 *ur* be=e long4 ,"o su* in/ance z ?is1 ,i conceive1 gives m enc\ragem5t ?an ! common1 cold1 =mal pray]s ( ?\s&s4 ,z ,,bra9]d',s desires & pray]s = ! com+ ( ,*ri/'s k+dom 7 v special & extraord9>y2 s ,i ?9k we may reasonably hope1 t ! ,god :o excit$ ^? desires & pray]s1 w answ] !m ) some?+ special & extraord9>y4 ,& 9 a p>ticul> mann] d ,i ?9k x wor?y ( notice = our enc\ragem5t1 t he _h 8 he>t unusually drawn out 9 long+s & pray]s = ! fl\ri%+ ( ,*ri/'s k+dom on e>? :5 he 0 9 ! approa*es ( dea?2 & t ) 8 dy+ brea? he brea!d out 8 dep>t+ s\l into ! bosom ( 8 ,r$eem]1 9 pray]s & pant+s aft] ! glori\s ev5t2 expir+ 9 v great hope t x w\ld soon beg9 to be fulfill$4 ,i w\ld n conclude ^! reflections )\t a grateful ackn[l$gm5t ( ! m]cy ( ,god 9 ! circum/ances ( ,,bra9]d',s dea?1 & especially ! graci\s disp5sation ( ,provid5ce to me & my family1 9 s ord]+ t he1 ?\gh ! ord9>y place ( 8 abode 0 m ?an two hundr$ miles di/ant1 %\ld be br\ght to my h\se 9 8 la/ sickness1 & %\ld die "h4 ,?us we _h opportunity = mu* acqua9tance & conv]sation ) him1 to %[ him k9dness 9 su* circum/ances1 to see 8 dy+ behavior1 to he> 8 dy+ spee*es1 to receive 8 dy+ c\nsels1 & to h ! b5efit ( 8 dy+ pray]s4 ,may ,god 9 inf9ite m]cy grant1 t we may ev] reta9 a prop] remembrance ( ^! ?+s1 & make a due improvem5t ( ! advantages we h _h 9 ^! respects6 ,! ,"l grant also1 t ! =ego+ acc\nt ( ,,bra9]d',s life & dea? may be = ! great spiritual b5efit ( all :o %all read x1 & prove a happy means ( promot+ ! revival ( true religion6 ,am54 ---------------------------------------- -------------------------------- ,p]petuat$ by ! ,donations ( ,messrs4 ,george ,d\glass1 ,*>les ,/>r & ,william ,a4 ,hallock1 ( ,new-,york4 ---------------------------------------- -------------------------------- ---------------------------------------- -------------------------------- ,transcrib]'s ,note ,! frequ5t dat$ quotations f ,bra9]d's di>ies usually employ op5+ d\ble-quotation m>ks1 :i* are only sometimes clos$ be=e cont9u+ to ! next dat$ entry4 ,! miss+ op5+ m>ks are suppli$ unless ! n>rative is cle>ly n directly f ! di>ies4 ,punctuation 7commas & full-/ops7 is re/or$ :]e ! text obvi\sly has an appropriate space4 ,o!r errors deem$ mo/ likely to be ! pr9t]'s h be5 correct$1 & are not$ "h4 ,! ref]5ces are to ! page & l9e 9 ! orig9al4 ,! foll[+ issues %\ld be not$1 along ) ! resolutions4 #f4b 9 be>+ te/imony aga9/ x4 _/1 liv+ ,replac$4 & dy+ #af4a or means ,i _h 9 view4 ,add$4 #ai4e by any ( my p]=mances1 ,eph4 #b3a1 #h4 ,re/or$4 #bj4ba ,all ?is "t ! ,spirit ( ,god ,ins]t$4 #bd4h ,i 0 br\ght to see myself ,add$4 #cb4ac "u date ( ,septemp_/ber #ad ,replac$4 #ch4ai z ,i h _h ?is ev5+4 ,add$4 #ch4bi 8,y\r *>ms may gratify a ,,s5sual m9d2 ,re/or$4 #dc4a sp5t mo/ ( ! day 9 t duty1 ,re/or$4 #dd4h & f9d him a 8pres5t help4'_/0 ,replac$4 #dg4e ,my ?\ghts 7 mu* 9 et]nity1 ,re/or$4 #dg4g ,rode home to _/-night ) ,mr4 ,bellamy ,re/or$4 #dh4bb ,9 ! aft]noon prea*$ at ,be?lehem1 ,re/or$4 #dh4be rejoice on ?is acc\nt1 to all et]nity ,re/or$4 #fj4e ,m>*4 #ai4 ,remov$4 #hh4g ) ! ,rev4 ,mr4 ,sa_/ergeant4 ,replac$4 #hh4bi ! he>ts & consci5ces ( ! ,indians4 ,re/or$4 #ajh4cd :o comm&$ !m to live by hunt+1 ,re/or$4 #aah4a ,dec4 #g4--8,sp5t "s "t 9 pray]1 ,add$4 #abe4cd s5t out 8 disciples two & two_/2 ,presumably4 #acd4bj ,"l's day1 ,june #bc4--8,prea*$ ,ins]t$4 #acg4c w\ld mainta9 & promote x ,ins]t$4 #aej4bf 7 fill$ ) com=t at ?is season4 ,re/or$4 #aea4bc ,guttummauk_/halummeh ,replac$4 #aeb4cd ',h m]cy ^u mebb_/2 h ,re/or$4 #aeg4bf ,augu/4 #af4 ,remov$4 #afj4aj deep impressions ( div9e ?+s4 ,re/or$4 #afb4cc ) real com=t & sweetness4 ,re/or$4 #afd4bb ,"l's day1 ,sept4 #a4-- ,ins]t$4 #afg4b ,sept4 #ac48;,aft] ,ins]t$4 #aha4e ,nov4 #d4--8;,disc\rs$ ,ins]t$4 #ahf4cd & oblig$ to int]pret v]batim4 ,re/or$4 #bji4bb ,jan4 #a1 #agdf4--8,sp5t ,ins]t$4 #bag4a ,feb4 #a4--8,my s*oolma/] ,ins]t$4 #bba4cd ,feb4 #ba4--8,prea*$ ,ins]t$4 #bbb4ca ,m>*1 #a'4 ,remov$4 #bbc4g ,"l's day1 ,m>* #b4--8,prea*$ ,ins]t$4 #bbg4g ,o d let me die10_/' c4 ,replac$4 #bbg4cd ,o /rive1 /rive ,ins]t$4 #bcf4ac to ! comm&s ( ! second table' ,remov$4 #bdj4bh ,april #be4--8,set ap>t ,ins]t$4 #bgi4cd to my late/ mom5t4 ,re/or$4 #bhe4i ?is day1 ?is bless$1 glori\s season ,ins]t$4 #cje4g ,feb4 #bh4--8,0 visit$ ,ins]t$4 #cjf4cc ,b #8hav+ obta9$ help f him1' ,i yet ,ins]t$4 live4 #cdd4bh z ,i appreh5d1 ,add$4