,note3 ,images of the original pages are available through ,internet ,archive4 ,see https3_/_/archive4org_/details_/womanofy esterday#jjmasoiala ,transcriber's note3 ,text enclosed by underscores is in italics 7italics74 ,a ,,woman ,,of ,,yesterday by ,,caroline ,a4 ,,mason ,author of 8,a ,minister of the ,world10 8,the ,minister of ,carthage10 8,a ,wind ,flower10 etc4 8,there are1 it may be1 so many kinds of voices in the world1 and none of them is without signification40 ,new ,york ,doubleday1 ,page ,co4 #aijj ,copyright1 #aijj1 by ,doubleday1 ,page ,company ,norwood ,press ,j4 ,s4 ,cushing ,co4--,berwick ,smith ,norwood ,mass4 ,u4,s4,a4 ,our share of night to bear1 ,our share of morning1 ,our blank in bliss to fill1 ,our blank in scorning4 ,here a star1 and there a star1 ,some lose their way4 ,here a mist1 and there a mist1 ,afterwards--day6 ,,emily ,,dickinson4 ---------------------------------------- -------------------------------- ,contents ,page ,,book ,i4 ,,morning #a ,,book ,,ii4 ,,afternoon #aca ,,book ,,iii4 ,,night #bai ,,book ,i ,,morning ,,chapter ,i ,i rise and raise my claspd hands to ,thee6 ,henceforth1 the darkness hath no part in me1 ,thy sacrifice this day1-- ,abiding firm1 and with a freeman's might ,stemming the waves of passion in the fight4 --,,john ,,henry ,,newman4 ,where the ,monk ,river makes its way through the mountain wall in one of the northern counties of ,vermont1 lies the small1 white village of ,haran4 ,although isolated and remote from the world1 unknown and unconsidered beyond certain narrow limits1 this village possessed1 forty years ago1 a local importance as being the county town1 the seat also of a ,young ,ladies' ,seminary of some reputation1 and an ,orthodox church which boasted a line of ministers of exalted piety and scholarly attainment4 ,the incumbent in the year #ahfi was the ,rev4 ,samuel ,mallison4 ,his pastorate had now extended over twenty years1 and he was reverenced far beyond the bounds of his parish for learning and godliness4 ,it was a ,june ,saturday night in that year1 and the hour was late4 ,in the low-roofed garret of the parsonage of ,haran the figure of a tall1 thin girl with a candle in her hand moved swiftly and softly to the head of a steep flight of stairs1 which gave access to the garret from the floor below4 ,some one had called her name4 8,yes1 father10 she returned1 and a certain vibration of restrained feeling was perceptible in her voice1 8it was ,i4 ,i am sorry ,i disturbed you4 ,were you asleep80 ,all was dark below1 and no person could be seen1 but again came the man's voice4 8,what were you doing1 ,anna80 was the question4 8,only putting away--0 here the girl faltered and stopped speaking4 ,the candle in her hand shook1 and threw a strange1 wavering shadow of her shape upon the long1 rough timbers of the wall4 ,the roof was so low where she stood that of necessity her head was bent sharply forward4 ,the outline of her shoulders was meagre and angular2 her arms and body had neither the grace of a girl nor the curves of a woman2 they were simply lean and long4 ,there was something of loftiness1 and even of beauty1 in the face1 but the cheeks were hollow1 the lines all lacking in softness4 ,the ensemble was grave and strenuous for a girl of eighteen4 ,she began again4 8,i was nailing up that box of books1 you remember4 ,i thought now1 you know1 ,i ought to do it40 ,something like a groan seemed to float up from the darkness below4 ,there was no other reply for a moment1 and then the father's voice said slowly3-- 8,to take back later such an action is a greater violation of the moral nature than to avoid performing it4 ,if it has been given you as duty1 it is well done1 but be very sure40 ,a smile1 brooding1 and even sad1 altered the girl's face as she reflected for a little4 8,i am very sure10 she said softly1 but without hesitation4 8,then1 good night4 ,sleep1 now4 ,let to-morrow take thought for the things of itself1 ,anna40 8,good night1 father40 ,the little lingering of her voice on the last word gave to it the force of a term of endearment1 which it would not have occurred to ,anna ,mallison at that time to add4 ,a door closed below1 presently1 and the house was still4 ,the garret extended over the entire house1 and its unlighted spaces seemed to stretch indefinitely on all sides from the little circle of light shed by the one candle4 ,the place was wholly open1 save that at the front gable1 below the highest point in the peak of the roof1 a partition of planed but unpainted boards enclosed a small chamber4 ,the narrow door of it stood open4 ,as ,anna approached this door she cast her glance to a far1 dim corner1 where in stiff order a wooden box of moderate size stood upon a chest4 ,she crossed to the place1 passed her hand over the lid of this box1 satisfied herself that it was firmly and evenly fastened1 and then gathered up some nails and a hammer1 which she put away on the ledge formed by a square1 projecting rafter4 ,this accomplished1 she came back and entered the chamber1 which was sparely enough furnished1 undressed1 put out her candle1 and sat down in the open gable window4 ,even if to-morrow were left to take thought for the things of itself1 there were many yesterdays which she wished to meet to-night4 ,and for that to-morrow1--she was hardly ready to leave all thought of it yet1 for she regarded it as the most solemn and important crisis in her eighteen years of life4 ,on the ,sabbath1 which a few hours would bring1 she was to be received into the village church of which her father was pastor1 and this event would signify that all her previous existence1 the time past of her life1 was a closed and finished chapter1 and that henceforth all things were to become new4 ,life was to be furnished now with new pleasures1 new pains1 new motives1 new mental occupations4 ,a somewhat sterner and sadder life she fancied it1 full of self-examination1 sacrifice1 and high endeavour1 for she felt it must suffice her to have wrought her own will in the past1 8the will of the flesh10 as her father and the ,apostle ,paul termed it2 a phrase which had but a vague import to her own understanding1 and yet exerted a powerful influence upon her conscience4 ,to her mind there was an intimate connection between that now sealed box and 8the will of the flesh40 ,it was when she was fifteen years old that ,anna had discovered one day among the ranks of chests and trunks which lined the outer stretches of the garret1 this small box of books1 thickly covered with dust4 ,at first she had been greatly surprised1 since books were the things her father most earnestly desired and needed1 his scanty collection being quite insufficient for his use1 and being helped out by no village library4 ,every book in the house had borne to ,anna's imagination a potent dignity and value1 for each one embodied a persistent need1 and represented an almost severe economy before its possession had been achieved4 ,and here were nearly thirty respectably bound volumes packed away for moth and dust alone to live upon--what could it mean8 ,had they been forgotten8 ,anna had devoured their titles with consuming wonder and curiosity1 and with the ardour of the instinctive book-lover4 ,like ,aurora ,leigh1 she had 8found the secret of a garret room40 ,there was a volume of ,ossian1--heroic1 sounding words caught her eye as she turned the rough1 yellow leaves2 ,landor's 8,hellenics and ,idylls02 a copy bound in marred1 brown leather of ,pope's translation of the 8,iliad10 published1 she noted1 in #ahjf1 almost fifty years before she was born2 the poems of ,byron1 ,shelley1 ,keats1 and ,coleridge1 and of the earlier ,american poets2 and a thin gilded volume of ,blake's 8,songs of ,innocence40 ,besides these were worn volumes of ,plato1 of ,greek and ,latin poets1 and ,german editions of ,faust and ,nathan der ,weise4 ,at the bottom of the box ,anna found a faded commonplace book with her father's name inscribed on the first page1 and the date #ahdj4 ,it contained translations of ,greek poetry which she supposed to have been made by her father1 although of this she was not sure4 ,she did not read them1 for she felt that she had no right to explore anything so personal without his permission4 ,this scruple1 however1 did not extend to the books which filled the box1 although ,anna felt rather than understood that they had not been packed away together thus by accident1 or left by forgetfulness4 ,she perceived that they denoted some decisive experience in her father's inner life1 that spiritual personality of the man1 which possessed to the young girl's thought an august and even mysterious sacredness4 ,whatever these books had meant to him1 and for whatever reason they had been exiled from his meagre library1 they became to his daughter the most brilliant and alluring feature of a somewhat colourless girlhood1 the charm of them enhanced by secrecy2 for1 with the reticence characteristic of the family life1 ,anna never alluded to her discovery4 ,neither did she ever remove these literary remains from their seclusion in the garret2 this would have seemed an act of violence1 but around the box which held them she formed a kind of enclosing barricade of chests and old furniture4 ,the little nook thus formed she regarded as her place of refuge1 of private and unguessed delight4 ,a candle at night1 and rays of light piercing the wide cracks under the eaves by day1 made reading easy to her clear young eyes1 even in the dust and dusk of the dim place4 ,and so for two years1 through biting cold and searing heat1 ,anna fed her mind and heart on the poetry which had ruled her father's generation1 unknown and unsanctioned by any one4 ,then one day came a strange event2 she never recalled it without a sense of unshed tears4 ,it was late one ,august afternoon1 and1 her day's work faithfully performed1 ,anna had gone up to her garret room to make her simple toilet for the evening meal4 ,there were a few moments to spare1 and1 as usual1 she hastened to her nook1 and was soon deep in ,prometheus1 for ,shelley just then controlled her imagination4 ,her father came into the garret behind her1 a very unwonted thing1 and ,anna heard the sharp1 scraping sound as he drew out from the recesses where it had stood for years1 a small1 brown1 hair-covered trunk1 studded with brass nails1 forming the initials ,s4 ,d4 ,m4 ,it had been his own during his college days1 and had seen but little service since4 ,one of ,anna's brothers was to start for college in a day or two1 and the old trunk was to serve a second generation in its quest for learning4 ,startled by the unusual noise1 ,anna rose in her place1 and1 seeing her father1 spoke to him1 whereupon he crossed the garret to where she stood2 a small1 thin man1 bent a little1 with a pale brown skin1 prominent eyes1 and a dome-shaped head1 the hair thin on the crown even to baldness1 but soft and silken and long enough behind the ears to show its tendency to curl4 8,what have you there1 ,anna80 ,samuel ,mallison had asked1 peering with short-sighted1 searching eyes between the bars of a battered crib which ,anna had used as a part of her wall of partition4 8,poetry1 father10 she had replied1 handing him the book with eager1 innocent enthusiasm2 8oh1 it is very beautiful6 ,i love it so40 ,her father1 looking at the book1 flushed strangely1 and a sudden1 indescribable change passed over his face4 ,pushing aside the rubbish which separated him from ,anna1 he was immediately at her side1 and in silence had bent over the box4 ,he had drawn it nearer the light1 and seemed looking on the side for some sign or inscription4 ,there was a piercing eagerness in his eyes4 ,then ,anna had noticed what had escaped her hitherto1 the initials1 ,s4 ,d4 ,m41 followed by the reference1 ,matthew v4 #bi1 and the date1 #ahdh1 written in ink on the lower corner1 dim with dust stains and faded with the processes of time4 ,still her father had not spoken1 but1 sitting down on a chest1 he had bent over the box1 and had drawn from it one after the other the buried books1 with a hand as gentle as if he were touching the tokens of a dead love4 ,anna had stood aside1 silent and abashed1 a strange tightening sensation in her throat4 ,her father seemed to have forgotten her4 ,at last he had reached the old commonplace book underneath all4 ,the flush on his face had deepened1 and ,anna had thought there were tears in his eyes as he glanced rapidly over its yellowed pages1 with the verses in fine1 stiff writing and faded ink4 ,then he had closed the book with a long sigh1 had laid it carefully back in its place1 and rising1 had walked up and down in the low garret for many minutes in some evident agitation4 ,a sense of guilt and apprehension had fallen upon ,anna in her perplexity1 but when1 in the end1 he had come and stood beside her1 there was a great gentleness on his face4 8,and so you love those books1 my child80 he had asked her briefly4 8,yes1 father40 8,i understand4 ,i loved them1 but ,i gave them up--twenty years ago1 almost4 ,they became a snare40 ,he had been1 then1 silent a moment1 while a peculiar conflict of thought was reflected in his face4 8,yes10 he continued1 as if convinced of something called in doubt1 8they became a snare--to me--but for you ,i cannot decide4 ,it may not be for you to drink of my cup4 ,who knows80 and with that he had turned and left her1 and left the garret1 the trunk forgotten2 and ,anna had laid the books back1 soberly and with a great heartache1 almost as if she were laying dust dear and sacred in its coffin4 ,the matter had never been alluded to again between the father and daughter1 but ,anna knew that she was free to read1 and so read on4 ,and still her unalloyed happiness in her hidden treasure was gone4 ,a question1 a suspicion1 a disturbing doubt1 was now attached to it4 ,it was not wrong to read this poetry1 but plainly there was a more excellent way1 a higher ground which her father had reached1 and which1 with her inborn passion for perfection1 she1 too1 must some day attain4 ,slowly and silently this conviction matured within her4 ,and so to-night1 on the eve of her day of supreme consecration1 ,anna1 in her turn1 had buried out of her sight1 as her father had before her1 the poetry into which she had been pouring her young awakening life1 silently and secretly1 but with a fervour which the reader of many books can never know4 ,they had spoken to her in mighty voices1 these great spirits1 so free1 joyous1 and mysterious in their power2 but they were not the voice of ,god1 and therefore she must listen to them no more4 ,this had been a tree of life to her1 but its fruit was forbidden4 ,the axe must thenceforth be laid unflinchingly at the root of the tree4 ,such was the initial impulse1 single1 stern1 and absolute1 of ,anna's awakening religious nature4 ,theologians in the sixties did not talk of the immanence of ,god4 ,,chapter ,,ii ,children of men6 the unseen ,power whose eye ,forever doth accompany mankind1 ,hath looked on no religion scornfully ,that man did ever find4 ,which has not taught weak wills how much they can8 ,which has not fall'n on the dry heart like rain8 ,which has not cried to sunk1 self-weary man3 ,thou must be born again6 --,,matthew ,,arnold4 ,anna ,mallison's working theory of the human family in its moral and religious relations 7and she recognized no other as of importance7 was as destitute of shading as a carpenter's house plan4 ,indeed1 her hypothesis unconsciously bore a certain pictorial resemblance to the ground plan of a colonial house--a hall running through the middle with two rooms on each side6 ,there was1 straight through the centre of her moral universe1 a wide1 divisive1 neutral passage in which dwelt uneasily all people who had not been regenerated1 but who had not rejected salvation formally and forever4 ,here were such heathen and young children1 and such thoughtless and unhardened impenitent as might yet listen to the divine call4 ,at the right of this central hall1 following ,anna's scheme of the race1 were two wide rooms3 the first bright with a subdued and varied light2 the second1 opening beyond the first1 overflowing with undimmed and celestial radiance4 ,the first was the ,church1 the place of saints on earth1 the second was heaven1 easily reached from the first4 ,but the entrance to the first room from the central space was obscure1 difficult1 and mysterious1 and few were they who found it4 ,at the left of the great hall were likewise two vast connecting chambers4 ,a wide door stood ever open into the first1 through which a throng continually passed4 ,here were dimness and dread1 lighted only by false and baleful gleams2 and in the room beyond1 the blackness of darkness1 and that forever4 ,this first room was the abode of those who deliberately chose the world and turned away from ,god1 whose fitting end was in the awful gloom of that place of torment and wailing beyond4 ,above the right-hand division1 high and lifted up1 dwelt in unthinkable glory the ,god of her fathers1 holy1 but to her subconscious sense1 ineffective1 else why were earthquakes1 murders1 prisons1 insanities8 and why1 indeed1 those populous chambers on the left8 ,over them presided a rapid1 hurtling ,spirit1 always engaged in her imagination in falling like lightning from heaven4 ,he was ,miltonic necessarily1 but also much like one of ,ossian's heroes1 and1 on the whole1 a more imposing force than the ,creator whose power he seemed so successfully to have usurped4 ,in fine1 ,anna believed in two gods1 an infinite spirit of good1 and an infinite spirit of evil1 although she would have called herself strictly monotheistic4 ,the neutral space between the realms of the ,good and ,evil was the battleground of these two mighty spirits4 ,here prophets1 apostles1 and preachers were calling loudly and untiringly upon all men to repent1 and to find the entrance to the company of the redeemed4 ,from time to time some swift and valorous spirit of man or angel would even make excursion into the dim outer room on the left1 and bring thence a scorched and spotted soul1 saved1 but so as by fire4 ,but such events were rare and not to be presumed upon or expected4 ,it was all perfectly clear to ,anna1 the classification and grouping precise1 exact1 and satisfactory4 ,black was very black2 and white1 very white4 ,she had herself until very recently belonged in the neutral hall1 but she now believed herself to be 8experiencing religion10 a fine old phrase1 which was in effect to be pressing successfully through that obscure opening which led into the outer court of heaven4 ,but just here there was a weakness in the system4 ,theologians and preachers like her father boldly declared the contrary1 and asserted that the processes of entering the kingdom of heaven were as marked and unmistakable as the great general divisions of saints and sinners4 ,the conversion of ,saul of ,tarsus was always depicted as norm and type4 ,to be sure1 all the processes were not in each case marked by equal distinctness1 but the logical order was the same4 ,in the first stage of the progress the sinner was said to be 8under conviction0 or 8experiencing a sense of sin02 and the more bitter and overwhelming was this first phase1 the better was the diagnosis from the professional point of view4 ,at this point the penitent was to realize that1 whatever his former life had been1 even if a life of prayer and unselfish devotion1 it had been wholly displeasing to ,god1 and that1 as tending to self-righteousness1 such a life was peculiarly dangerous4 ,by nature1 there could not be in the human character any real moral excellence1 or what was more technically known as 8evangelical virtue40 ,all this ,samuel ,mallison had recently set forth in a series of sermons on 8,human ,depravity2 its ,degree1 its ,extent1 its ,derivation1 and its ,punishment10 which had been considered of extraordinary value and merit4 ,but it was just here that his daughter1 for all the logic and learning to which she was privileged to listen1 stumbled and stood still4 ,for weeks her spiritual development appeared to be arrested4 ,she was silent1 uncommunicative1 and disappointing to all the older members and office-bearers in her father's church4 8,what is the matter with ,anna80 was the frequent question put to ,mrs4 ,mallison in the parish4 8,why don't she come out80 8,oh1 she is under conviction all the time10 would be the reply1 with a somewhat decided shake of the head4 8,we let her alone pretty much1 ,mr4 ,mallison and ,i4 ,it isn't best to say too much1 you know1 when anybody has reached that point4 ,we can see that conscience is working with her40 ,the questioner would depart with the belief that ,anna's conviction was of an unusually profound and interesting nature1 like a disease with a complication2 but if they had asked ,anna herself1 she might have told them that it was from the absence of this conviction1 rather than from its intensity1 that she was suffering4 ,she was too honest to assume a virtue1 or even a vice1 if she had it not1 and seek it as she would1 a poignant sense of sin did not visit her4 ,she had cast about her1 and searched her own heart and life in a distinct embarrassment at finding so few clearly defined and indubitable sins of which to plead guilty2 she had even secretly reproached her parents in her heart for having insisted upon an almost faultless standard of daily living1 since conformity to their will seemed to be in itself a snare1 and to place her at a distinct disadvantage now as compared with the flagrant sinner4 ,why had they taught her to pray1 since she was now told that the prayers of the unregenerate were displeasing to ,god8 ,she used to sit during the ,sunday morning service and look at the neighbours in their pews around her1 at their children and grandchildren1 and at the members of her own family1 seeking to find a person whom she was conscious of having wronged1 or toward whom she cherished a feeling of enmity or envy4 ,the only result of this species of self-examination had been to bring to her remembrance a childish1 half-forgotten grudge against a girl with fair curls1 ,malvina ,loveland by name1 who had once ridiculed her at school1 for wearing one of ,lucia's dresses made over4 ,anna drew this dim and fading fault remorselessly up to the light1 and formally and forever forgave the unconscious 8,mally40 ,but the longing for a deep experience of the 8exceeding sinfulness of sin0 remained unsatisfied4 ,like many another sincere and seeking soul of that day1 she yearned in vain to fill out in its rigid precision of sequence that spiritual programme which the theologians prescribed4 ,her father gave her free access to the precious1 if narrow1 resources of his library1 and she read the ,edwards1 both elder and younger1 the elder ,dwight1 ,bunyan1 ,baxter1 and the rest1 in place of her dear pagans whose end she now clearly foresaw4 ,she read of the 8depraved moral conduct of every infant who lives so long as to be capable of moral action02 she read that 8the heart of ,man1 after all abatements are made for certain innocent and amiable characteristics1 is set to do evil in a most affecting and dreadful manner02 and that 8the darling and customary pleasures of men furnish an advantageous proof of the extreme depravity of our nature40 8,was ,i a very wicked little child80 she asked her mother one day4 8,wicked60 cried her mother1 artlessly1 resenting the thought4 8,you were like a little angel1 ,benigna1 even from the very first4 ,so was it that ,i gave you my sainted mother's name4 ,even your looks were all love2 all saw it1 and strangers too4 ,you a bad child1 indeed who never gave your mother a harsh word or a heartache since you were born60 ,anna ,benigna1 for so her mother called her1 bent and kissed her mother1 a rare caress in that family4 8,i am glad ,i pleased you10 she whispered4 ,there were tears in her eyes1 and as she walked without further word from the room1 her mother perceived the significance of question and reply1 and pondered long4 ,then suddenly1 as ice breaks up in the spring1 and the freshet bears down everything before it1 a moment of crisis and perception came1 one of those moments which1 albeit varying with each human experience1 remains in each supreme4 ,under all her outward conformity to law and love1 ,anna realized now that there had lain for years a deep1 half-conscious resentment toward the ,creator1 a cold dislike of ,god4 ,how could he look upon her with approval while such a disposition remained in her heart8 ,she had loved the human2 she had not loved the divine4 ,a sense of the absolute and eternal ,good from which she was alienated1 to which she was antagonistic1 smote her with force4 ,she now seemed to herself in the presence of ,god as a speck of dust against a dazzling mountain of snow--incalculably small1 hatefully impure4 ,a passion of contrition and surrender mastered her2 vague regenerating fires tried her soul2 and then came an exhaustion of spirit1 as of a child whom its ,father has chastened1 and who is reconciled and at peace4 ,this succession of emotions she was able to recall distinctly as long as she lived4 ,this had been a month ago4 ,anna had recounted these spiritual exercises to her father1 and he had told her that they denoted conversion1 and advised her presenting herself to the church for admission4 ,this she had done1 but when he asked her1 further1 to what cause1 if any1 she ascribed this past sense of enmity against ,god1 she had been silent4 ,however1 her father was fully satisfied4 ,like a physician with a well-declared fever of a certain type1 he felt it to be a clear case4 ,considering his child's blameless innocence of life1 it was an unexpectedly satisfactory one from the theologian's point of view4 ,as she sat now in the warm gloom of the ,june night1 with the dark trees murmuring softly under the wind1 and the sky with many stars bending near1 only the gable jutting above her head to keep its splendours off1 ,anna travelled back in thought to her childish days and found there the answer to her father's question4 ,,chapter ,,iii ,nay1 but ,i think the whisper crept ,like growth through childhood4 ,work and play1 ,things common to the course of day1 ,awed thee with meanings unfulfill'd2 ,and all through girlhood1 something still'd ,thy senses like the birth of light1 ,when thou hast trimmed thy lamp at night ,or washed thy garments in the stream4 --,,dante ,,gabriel ,,rossetti4 ,until her twelfth year ,anna had not encountered the severities of ,calvinistic theology1 ,samuel ,mallison having intrusted the spiritual guidance of his children1 during their earlier years1 to their mother4 ,anna was the youngest child4 ,mrs4 ,mallison was of a ,german ,moravian family who1 coming from ,pennsylvania1 had settled on the eastern boundary of ,new ,york early in the century4 ,she possessed the serene and trustful temperament of her people4 ,the subtleties of her husband's religious system were beyond her simple ken2 she loved to sing the hymns of ,zinzendorf1 as she sewed and spun and ordered her household in true ,german ,hausfrulichkeit1 a sincere1 devout1 affectionate soul who had found the tone of the frigid little north ,new ,england community more chilling than she dared to own4 ,from her ,anna inherited her warm impulses1 her abounding delight in nature1 her susceptibility to the simplest impressions of sweet and common things4 ,gulielma ,mallison understood the child when she came running to her one early spring morning from the parsonage garden1 where the dark brown earth was freshly upturned and young green things were springing1 and had tears in her eyes1 veiling wonder1 and a shy thrill of joy in all her small birdlike frame1 and had asked1 her hands clasped upon her breast3-- 8,why am ,i so happy1 mother1 that ,i can't bear it8 ,why does something ache so here80 8,it is because thou art in ,god's beautiful world1 little ,benigna10 the mother had said1 8and thou art ,god's child4 ,he is near thee1 and thy heart yearns to him4 ,be glad in ,god40 ,in his study1 through the open door1 ,samuel ,mallison heard these words1 and1 whatever his perplexity as to their doctrinal inconsistency1 he did not gainsay them4 ,from his point of view at this time little ,anna was entirely out of relation to ,god and out of harmony with his being1 and it would have been impossible for her to please him4 ,but just then an old question1 which would not always down1 had forced its way to his mind--,what if there were a wrong link somewhere in the logic8 ,what if the love of ,god were something greater than the schoolmen guessed8 ,but on a certain winter night ,anna's childhood died1 and the battle of her life began4 ,well she remembered every physical sensation even1 accompanying that experience4 ,it had been a snowy ,saturday night1 and she had come in from the warm kitchen where1 in a round washing-day tub1 drawn close to the hot stove1 she had taken a merry1 splashing bath1 after the regular order of exercises for ,saturday night at the parsonage4 ,her older sister1 ,lucia1 had presided over the function1 and when it was accomplished she had been closely wrapped in a pale straw-hued1 homespun flannel sheet1 over her nightclothes1 preparatory to facing the rigours of the bitterly cold hall and stairs1 and the little bedroom above4 ,so she had trailed into the living-room1 where the boys and her parents were gathered around a large table4 ,the room was not very brightly lighted by the single oil lamp1 but a great fire crackled loudly in the stove1 and the rattle of the hard snowflakes on the window panes and the whistling of the wind outside gave keen emphasis to the sense of cheerful safety and comfort4 ,warm and languid from the heat of her bath1 ,anna had sat down on a low seat and dropped her head on her mother's knees1 feeling an indescribable sensation of happy lassitude and physical well-being4 ,she recalled how interested she had been in the shrivelled whiteness of her own long1 little fingers1 and how soft and woolly that dear old blanket had felt2 it was on her bed now1 with her mother's maiden name worked in cross-stitch in one corner1 in pale pink crewel4 ,they had been waiting for her1 to proceed with the evening devotions1 and her father had at once begun to read a part of a sermon from one of the standard divines who1 though somewhat out of fashion in the centres of progressive thought1 were still held infallible in these remoter regions4 ,the subject was 8,the ,benevolence of ,god in ,inflicting ,punishment10 from a work entitled 8,the ,effects of the ,fall40 ,anna did not listen very closely for a time1 but presently her attention was caught and held4 ,the writer was seeking to prove that 8the damnation of a large part of the human race directly subserved the general happiness of mankind and the glory of ,god40 ,that even if he had saved none of the sons of men1 but 8had left them to the endless torment they had so justly deserved10 and 8had glorified himself in their eternal ruin1 they would have had no cause to complain40 ,that the best of what were illusively known as 8good works10 were 8no more than splendid sins40 ,that no doubt1 if any heathen could be found who was truly virtuous and holy1 who loved ,god in the strictly evangelical sense1 as infinitely great1 wise1 and holy1 and who kept all his perfect law without infraction1 such heathen might be saved4 ,but as there was no evidence that any such heathen ever had existed1 or ever could exist1 there was no reason to believe that any had been saved4 ,as the heathen still formed a vast proportion of the population of the globe1 and as only a small fraction of those nations commonly known as ,christian had actually and experimentally come under the law of grace1 the only conclusion possible was1 that a vast proportion of the human family throughout all ages and down to the present time 8were serving the purposes of ,god's infinite wisdom and benevolence in their creation in endless misery or torment40 ,the triumphant logic of the old divine1 which ,mrs4 ,mallison secretly found discomfiting but accepted calmly enough considering its terrific import1 and which her husband read with the sad and solemn pathos of one to whom it was a mournful verity1 had a curious effect upon little ,anna4 ,for the first time the real meaning of familiar words like these smote full and sharp upon her mind1 and in the physical lassitude of the moment acted like a bodily injury upon her4 ,she grew whiter and whiter1 and she touched and grasped the soft blanket about her with powerless fingers1 to convince herself that she could feel and find what was familiar1 faintness being an absolutely unknown sensation4 ,suddenly1 with an imperious impulse1 and a singular effect of childish courage which dared to do an unheard-of thing1 she rose and said with perfect apparent composure1 breaking in upon the reading3-- 8,i am too tired to stay here any longer1 ,i am going upstairs now10 and so left the room4 ,her mother had watched the slight figure in its close drapery with anxious eyes until the door closed upon her1 but had not thought of following4 ,this reading was a solemn function not to be lightly interrupted4 ,upstairs1 ,anna had betaken herself hastily to bed1 and lay there1 motionless1 somewhat alarmed at her own revolutionary action1 and with little to say when questioned by her mother presently4 ,but when the house was still1 and the night advancing to its mid depth of darkness1 the child1 still lying with wide1 wakeful eyes1 cried silently with a piteous consciousness of desolation and sorrow4 ,a sense of the bitterness of a world where millions of helpless human spirits were shut up to endless agony had overwhelmed her1 and a spirit of rebellion against ,god who willed it so for his own glory had taken intense possession of her thought4 ,in the passion of her childish resentment and grief and worn by the unwonted wakefulness1 her breath came in long1 quivering sobs which were heard in the next room1 and brought her father to her side4 ,she could answer nothing to his questions1 but he found her hands cold1 and her pulse weak and rapid4 8,you did not eat your supper to-night1 little ,anna10 he said gently1 remembering her faint appetite for the frugal fare of the parsonage table4 ,anna only sobbed more convulsively4 ,she had expected severity and blame1 feeling verily guilty in spirit4 ,samuel ,mallison said nothing more1 but ,anna1 wondering1 heard him go downstairs1 heard doors open and shut1 and then silence fell again4 ,ten minutes later her father stood again by the bedside in the icy chill of the winter midnight in the unwarmed chamber1 and he had brought a bowl of broth1 hot and smoking1 bread1 too1 and1 most unwonted pampering1 a piece of the rare poundcake1 kept for company and never given to children except on high holidays4 ,neither of them spoke1 but ,samuel ,mallison1 for all the cold1 sat on the bed's edge while ,anna ate and drank1 drawing her frail little body to rest against his own4 ,the broth was salted for ,anna by her tears1 and the long-drawn sobs1 coming at intervals1 half choked her as she ate1 but she was comforted at last and fortified against the woe of the world1 and she pressed her cheek against her father's arm with a sense of the infinite sweetness of fatherhood warm at her heart4 ,as she finished the last crumb of cake1 she thought3-- 8,if only ,god had been kind like my father6 ,i was naughty1 and that only makes him good to me and pitiful40 ,but she said nothing1 only looked with a world of wondering gratefulness in her large innocent eyes up into her father's face1 finding some perplexity that cake and broth should reconcile her to the everlasting torment of the majority of mankind1 but wisely concluding to make the best of it since such seemed to be the effect1 and1 as it was now undoubtedly high time1 to go to sleep4 ,finding her bright and well next morning1 the ,mallisons1 father and mother1 had thought little more of that ,saturday night revolt1 which they1 indeed1 had not known as such2 but1 as she looked back over her years to-night1 in her gable window1 ,anna perceived that from that time there had always been in the secret place of her heart a sense of enmity against a ,god who was not kind like her father4 ,to-night she knew herself1 at last1 reconciled2 faith had triumphed and declared that even the darkest decree of ,god's great will must be right1 since he was the absolutely ,good4 ,but her heart yearned with mighty yearning for the subjects of his just wrath1 and as she knelt in the darkness and silence she gave herself with simple1 unreserved sincerity to the service of the lost among men4 ,rising from her knees1 ,anna felt a strange glow and exaltation of spirit4 ,in her own personal life sin had been met and vanquished4 ,tremendous apostolic assertions buoyed her soul upward like strong wings3 8free from the law of sin and of death10 8passed from death unto life10 8,all things are yours1 and ye are ,christ's1 and ,christ is ,god's40 ,thus she felt her finite linked to the infinite4 ,her spirit was suffused with thrilling and unspeakable joy2 ,god was closer than breathing and nearer than hands and feet4 ,but1 as she stood rapt and absorbed1 there came up through the hush of the night from the dim street below a strange sound1 and she was caught back by it1 and listened painfully4 ,it was a little child crying piteously4 ,peering down through the clustering branches1 below her window1 ,anna could discern by the dim light of the stars the shape of a woman1 forlorn and spiritless1 passing silently along the shadowed way4 ,behind her followed the crying child1 with weary little feet stumbling at every stone4 ,the woman carried something in her arms1 hidden by an apron2 she turned and looked at the child1 and shook her head1 but did not speak4 ,this woman1 who moved abroad only at night1 was the village outcast1 and the child was her child1 born in sin4 ,vague and uncomprehended to ,anna's mind was the abyss into which this woman had fallen1 but she felt it to be black and bottomless1 and to place an everlasting separation between her and the good4 ,she drew back from the window1 a sharp pain1 made of pity and horror1 at her heart1 sin embodied thus confronting her4 ,she felt as ,sir ,launfal felt when he saw the leper4 ,lying down to rest at last1 ,anna slept1 in spite of spiritual ecstasies and sufferings1 the sound sleep of a healthy girl who is fortunate enough to forget the ultimate destinies of human souls1 her own with the rest1 for certain favoured hours4 ,it was long before her sleep was disturbed by dreams1 but an hour before sunrise she awoke with a pervading sense of exquisite happiness brought over with her from a dream just dreamed4 ,it was a still dream of seeing1 not of doing4 ,she had seen the form of a man of heroic aspect1 old rather than young1 with a grey head1 leonine and majestic1 strong stern features1 a glance mild and yet searching and subduing2 a man imperial and lofty1 and above his fellows1 but whether as king or saint or soldier she could not guess4 ,but here was made visible a power1 a freedom1 and a greatness for which her own nature1 she felt in a swift flash of self-revelation1 passionately cried out1 which it had nowhere found1 and to which it bowed in a curious delight hitherto unknown4 ,this only happened3 this mysterious personality1 more than human1 she thought1 if less than divine1 had looked kindly upon her1 in her weak1 childish abasement1 and had shed into her eyes1 and so into her heart1 the impossible1 inexplicable happiness with which she awoke4 ,she did not sleep again4 ,this waking consciousness enamoured her4 ,what did it mean8 ,anna asked herself all day4 ,was it a dream sent from ,god at this solemn hour of dedication8 ,if so1 what did it prefigure8 ,even at the sacramental feast1 her first communion1 that majestic head1 with the controlling sweetness of the eyes upon her1 came before her vision1 and made her heart beat fast4 ,,chapter ,,iv ,the fiend that man harries ,is love of the ,best4 --,the ,sphynx1 ,r4 ,w4 ,,emerson4 ,malvina ,loveland1 the girl whom ,anna had found solace in forgiving for her childish offence1 had 8come out10 as ,haran people said1 at the same time with ,anna4 ,this fact1 and the compunction in ,anna's heart toward her early foe1 had drawn the two girls together1 and they became friends4 ,they talked of the interests of the cause of religion1 and read biographies together1 or rather1 ,anna read aloud while her friend diligently produced lace work with a small shuttle1 or hemstitched linen ruffles2 but both cared less for these several occupations than for the sense of mingling their young1 unfolding perceptions4 ,anna had need of a friend2 ,lucia1 her sister1 was many years older1 and had long ago married a farmer1 and departed deeper into the hills1 where she worked with the immoderate industry of ,new ,england women1 bore many children1 and lived a life into which ,anna did not enter deeply4 ,the ,mallison boys were away from home1 studying and working1 and the parsonage was a silent place4 ,anna adored her father with the restrained ardour of her kind1 and loved her mother with a great tenderness1 but she was actively intimate with neither1 and thus greatly alone4 ,mally was noticeably pretty1 and ,anna thought her beauty angelic4 ,she was capable1 clever1 quick1 and impulsive1 one of the women who can do anything they see done1 strongly imitative and impressionable4 ,she developed rapidly1 while ,anna matured slowly4 ,anna had nobleness1 ,mally had facility4 ,anna1 beside ,mally1 looked uncomfortably tall1 with her angular thinness and her dark1 grave face4 ,she had masses of lustreless brown hair1 a clear brune skin like her father1 and1 like him1 singularly fine hands4 ,her eyes were her mother's1 and her only beauty1--golden brown1 and of limpid clearness4 ,to both these girls their religion was a system of prohibition and of an abnormal development of conscience4 ,the negative1 not the positive1 side was uppermost to them4 8,thou shalt not0 was written over every device and desire which did not minister directly to the furtherance of the local conception of religion4 ,both were eager to grasp the positive side1 to convert the world1 to see ,satan chained1 and themselves to contribute to this desirable consummation2 but they were doubtful how to begin4 ,both were ardent controversialists after the manner of their day1 and ,anna read systematic theology with her father with extraordinary relish4 ,they waited and wondered1 each longing for her destiny to disclose itself decisively4 ,but with ,anna a hidden life budded beneath the surface1 unknown even to ,mally4 ,the romantic and poetic impulses of her nature1 no longer directly nourished by the poets whom she had put away from her by force1 stirred in her heart1 and fed themselves1 in silence1 on the life of nature1 and on the delicate1 evanescent imaginings of her awakening womanhood4 ,below the surface of her conscious thoughts a strange inarticulate passion for power and freedom beat and throbbed1 and would not be stilled1 despite her quiet1 conscientious conformity to the narrow conditions of the world about her4 ,she did not know what freedom was1 but she felt that she was not free2 neither did she clearly know what the power meant for which she longed1 but she felt the absence of it in every one she had ever met4 ,it was mysterious1 indefinable--once only had she encountered it1 and that was in a dream4 ,thus a nature simple and single1 with all its forces apparently bent one way1 and with few avenues1 or none1 by which to import conflicting influences1 was1 in fact1 already incipiently subject to the complexities of instinct1 of motive1 and desire1 which weave the bewildering network of human experience4 ,when ,anna was twenty1 an event occurred of much importance in its bearing on her life4 ,under the direction of an old friend of ,samuel ,mallison1 the ,rev4 ,dr4 ,durham of ,boston1 a general secretary for ,foreign ,missions1 a series of meetings was held in ,haran for the promotion of an interest in this cause4 ,dr4 ,durham was entertained1 during the time of the convention1 at the parsonage2 he was a genial and kindly man1 and became in his way an especial friend of ,anna1 in whom he manifested a marked interest4 ,from the country round about1 during the week1 men and women thronged to ,haran2 and at an evening meeting to be addressed by a woman who had been a missionary in ,india1 the white meeting-house was filled4 ,many in the congregation had never seen a missionary2 many more had never heard a woman speak in public4 ,curiosity ran high4 ,the speaker was a little sallow woman1 in a plain and unbecoming grey gown1 who stepped timidly to the edge of the platform1 laying a small hand which trembled visibly on the cold mahogany pulpit1 as if to conciliate it for her intrusion and to crave its support4 ,she spoke in a shrill crescendo1 without the graces or arts of a skilled speaker1 and she made no appeal to the emotions of the hearers4 ,it was rather a dry and unimaginative account of the work done at an obscure mountain station1 with statistics of no great impressiveness1 and careful attention to accuracy of detail4 ,but she had the advantage of sowing her seed on virgin soil4 ,it was not important at that day and to those isolated and simple-minded people that the missionary should speak with enticing words1 or attempt dramatic effect4 ,she was herself there before them in flesh and blood1 and no great time before she had been on heathen ground1 had come into actual combat1 face to face1 with wild1 savage men and strange1 outlandish women1 who knew not ,god1 and who veritably and visibly bowed down to wood and stone4 ,for the hour1 that little woman of weak bodily presence and commonplace intellect became the incarnation of ,christianity seeking a lost world1 and she herself was far greater to their thought than anything she could have said4 ,at the end of her report1 for it was that rather than appeal or address1 she told the story of a high-caste ,hindu woman to whom she had sought to give the gospel message4 ,this woman had turned upon her with grave wonder and had asked1 8,how long have you known this8 about this ,jesus80 8,oh1 for many years1 all my life in fact40 8,then10 said the woman1 solemnly1 8why did you not come to tell us before80 ,without comment or enlargement1 having told of this occurrence1 the speaker turned and walked shyly from the platform1 leaving an unusual hush in the assembly1 as if an event1 a result of some sort1 were waited for4 ,toward the end of the church1 where she was seated with her mother1 ,anna ,mallison rose in her place1 made her way out into the middle aisle1 and then1 with her head a little bent1 but her face neither pale nor agitated1 walked quietly to the foot of the platform4 ,samuel ,mallison1 who was seated with ,dr4 ,durham behind the pulpit1 rose and stood1 just above1 as if to receive her1 looking down with solemn eyes4 ,some one who saw ,anna's face said that1 as she looked up into that of her father thus bent above her1 the smile which suddenly illuminated it was beyond earthly beauty4 ,it was a look in which two human spirits1 and those father and child1 purged as far as might be of earthliness1 met in angelic interchange1 pure and high4 ,turning about1 thus facing the great congregation1 ,anna1 who had never before spoken in a public gathering of any sort1 however small1 said in a voice which was clear and distinct1 though not loud3-- 8,i wish to offer myself to this society to go1 if they will send me1 to some heathen people1 to tell them that ,christ has died to save them4 ,i am ready to go at once1 if it is thought best40 ,the gravity and simplicity1 and absence of self-consciousness1 of the girl's words and bearing1 and the profound sympathy of the people who saw and heard her1 combined to produce an overpowering impression4 ,as the meeting broke up1 women were weeping all over the house1 and sturdy unemotional men were deeply moved4 ,anna1 seeing that many would surround her and speak their sympathy or give their praise1 which she dreaded and feared to hear1 turned with swift steps to the door nearest her1 and so escaped into the outer darkness of the night1 no one following4 ,but1 as she hurried with light steps across the village green and reached the parsonage gate1 she found ,mally waiting to waylay her4 8,oh1 ,anna10 she cried1 and her tears flowed fast1 8you will go away from me1 from all of us6 ,how can you put this great distance between us80 8,how can ,i do anything else1 ,mally80 ,anna answered softly4 8,it is what ,i have been waiting for2 ,i think ,i was never truly happy until to-night4 ,all my life before ,i have been unsatisfied1 and something has ached and hurt whenever ,i stopped to feel it40 8,and to-night you are really happy80 cried her friend1 half enviously1 and yet by no means drawn to devote herself to the medley of crocodiles1 dark-skinned babies1 and cars of ,juggernaut1 which signified ,india to her mind4 8,oh1 at last60 ,anna exclaimed1 and with a long breath of relief4 8,will it not bring peace1 ,mally1 to know that ,i am surely doing ,his will8 ,it will be like pure sunshine after living in a fog these past years40 8,then weren't you really happy when you were converted and joined the church80 asked ,mally1 navely4 8,partly4 ,but just to be happy because you are saved yourself--why1 it does not last4 ,and you know1 dear1 we could never find anybody's soul to work for here in ,haran2 at least1 we didn't know how10 and ,anna became silent1 the vision of one solitary outcast coming before her1 with whom she had been forbidden even to speak4 ,but ,mally refused to be comforted thus1 and went her way with many tears4 ,there were more tears for ,anna to encounter that night1 for her mother came home broken-hearted4 ,the ,lord had answered her husband's daily prayer1 and had graciously chosen one of their own family to preach the gospel to the heathen1 and the answered prayer was more than the loving soul could sustain4 ,like ,jacob1 she could get no farther than the wail1 8,if ,i am bereaved1 ,i am bereaved40 ,not so ,samuel ,mallison4 ,too long had he schooled himself to the sacrifice of his dearest human and earthly desires4 ,the long discipline of his life stood him now in good stead4 ,coming into the room where ,anna was vainly seeking to comfort her mother1 he laid his hands in blessing on her head1 and with a look upward which stilled the weeping woman1 he pronounced the ancient words3-- 8,lord1 now lettest thou thy servant depart in peace1 according to thy word2 ,for mine eyes have seen thy salvation40 ,and yet ,anna was the very apple of his eye4 ,of such fibre was the altruism of that rugged first growth4 ,,chapter ,v ,life6 life6 thou sea-fugue1 writ from east to west1 ,love1 ,love alone can pore ,on thy dissolving score ,of harsh half-phrasings1 ,blotted ere writ1 ,and double erasings ,of chords most fit4 --,,sidney ,,lanier4 ,from the time of the missionary meeting and the announcement of his daughter's determination to devote herself to the service of ,christ in a heathen land1 ,samuel ,mallison's health declined rapidly4 ,his ,nunc ,dimittis was of literal import1 and prophetic4 ,whether the death which all who loved him saw that he was soon to accomplish could be called dying of heart-break or dying of fulfilled desire1 would have been hard to determine4 ,heart and flesh cried out against the separation from his best-beloved child1 while the triumphant spirit blessed ,god for answered prayer1 and for the fruition in that cherished life of his child of hopes and aspirations which had been but scantily fulfilled in his own4 8,i have not been a successful man1 ,anna10 he said to her one autumn day when they were alone in his study4 ,he sat erect in his straight chair1 but with an unmistakable languor in every line of face and frame1 and with a feverish brightness in his prominent dark eyes4 ,anna laid her hand upon his with endless gentleness4 8,no man in ,haran is so beloved1 father4 ,no man has done so much good40 8,perhaps10 he answered sadly1 8and ,i am satisfied4 ,it is the will of ,god4 ,anna1 ,i have seemed1 perhaps1 cold and silent1 and without feeling as you have seen me2 but the fire within has burned unceasingly1 and ,i am consumed40 ,the last words were spoken lower and with an unconscious pathos which moved ,anna unspeakably4 8,i do not understand1 father dear1 not fully4 ,can you tell me all8 ,i love you so40 ,they were the simplest words of the most natural affection1 and yet it was the first time in her life that ,anna had spoken after this sort to her father4 8,my girl10 he said simply1 taking her hand within his own4 ,then1 after a pause1 he continued speaking4 8,it is after this manner that life has gone with me4 ,i believe ,i ought to retrace my past with you--for perhaps there may be light upon your path1 if you know all4 ,when ,i entered the ministry it was with sincerely right purpose2 all the influences of my life pointed me in that direction1 but it was1 perhaps1 more as an intellectual and congenial profession than from deeper reasons4 ,i began my ministry1 in #ahda1 in ,boston4 ,i was considered to have certain gifts which were valued in that day1 and all went well1 on the surface4 ,but it was the period of a literary awakening in our nation1 of which ,boston was the centre of influence4 ,an ,american literature was just becoming a visible reality1 and a new impulse was at work and stirring everywhere4 ,men of original force were suddenly multiplied before us1 and the contagion of intellectual ambition was felt in an altogether new degree4 ,to me it became all-controlling4 ,transcendental philosophy1 ,platonism1 and classic learning acquired for me a supreme attraction1 and ,i gave myself more and more to the study of them1 and to the translation of ,greek poetry4 ,this had no unfavourable effect upon my preaching in the opinion of my congregation1 rather the reverse1 and ,i may say without vanity that ,i had reached comparatively early a certain eminence to which ,i was by no means indifferent40 ,samuel ,mallison paused a moment1 while ,anna silently reflected that this narrative would in the end explain the buried books of her dear old garret delight4 8,learning was young among us in those days1 ,anna10 ,samuel ,mallison began again humbly1 after a little space1 8else this would not have happened2 in the year #ahdh ,i received a call to a professorship of the ,greek language and literature in ,harvard ,college40 ,anna felt her own young blood rush to her cheeks in pride and wonder and amazement4 ,to her little-village simplicity and scanty experience this seemed a surpassing distinction1 and one which placed her father among the great men of the earth4 8,the day after the mind of the authorities had been made known to me1 was the day of my life which ,i remember best10 ,samuel ,mallison continued4 8,i went to my study that morning with a programme of what would take place somewhat definitely before my mind4 ,i was about to seek1 humbly and devoutly1 an interview with ,god1 in which ,i would lay before him this new and momentous opening in my life1 and seek to have his will for me made clear4 ,what this will would be1 or what ,i should take it to be1 was1 just below the surface of my mind1 a foregone conclusion4 ,in fact1 my letter of acceptance was substantially framed in my mind already4 ,i had never been favoured with voices and visions and revelations clear and conclusive in my religious experience1 and ,i foresaw a decision based upon general reasonableness and preference1 touched with a pleasant sense of the divine favour1 which might naturally be expected to rest upon so congenial a course1 and one so worthily justified by precedent4 ,i read1 as a preparatory exercise1 with perfect satisfaction1 the twelfth chapter of ,john's ,gospel1 then closed my ,bible and knelt in prayer4 ,this was exactly as ,i had foreseen--an orderly series of exercises befitting my position4 ,but1 oh2 how mechanical1 how cold1 how barren6 ,with such perfunctory practices ,i could think to take leave of the sacred calling of the ministry1 so dead had my spirit grown to the claims of the blessed gospel1 and its mission of salvation to a lost and perishing world6 8,i knelt and thought to pray1 but1 like the king in #8,hamlet'1 my words flew up1 my thoughts remained below4 ,between me and ,him whom ,i would have approached1 interposed1 like a palpable barrier1 a solemn reiterated echo of words just read3 #8,verily1 verily1 ,i say unto you1 except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die1 it abideth alone2 but if it die1 it bringeth forth much fruit4 ,he that loveth his life shall lose it4' 8,i rose from my knees and walked up and down the room in great anxiety of spirit4 ,this new work which ,i thought to undertake was educational1 ennobling1 necessary2 in no way contrary to sound doctrine1 in no way a betrayal of sacred responsibility2 ,i was fitted for it by nature1 by tastes1 and attainments4 ,why was it opened to me8 ,to mock me8 to tempt8 ,i could not believe it1 ,i had welcomed it as coming in the providence of ,god4 8,but my heart-searching grew swift and deep1 and it was given me to see the absoluteness1 the finality1 of the vows which ,i had assumed1 from which ,i straightway realized that no argument of those with which ,i was equipped sufficed to release me4 ,feebly and imperfectly1 yet sensibly1 ,i began to grasp the import of what the apostle calls the fellowship of ,christ's sufferings1 the being made conformable unto his death4 ,oh1 the depth of the mystery hid in that saying6 ,all these years ,i have sounded it--,anna1 all these years ,i have died1 in my own natural life--,i have striven to give all ,i had to give1 but the #8much fruit'--where has it been80 ,an expression of pain1 hardly less than agony1 was impressed upon ,samuel ,mallison's face1 and ,anna hid her eyes1 finding it too bitter to bear to see him suffer thus4 8,i put it all away from me1 then and there4 ,nothing was possible but for me to decline the invitation which had been given1 you can see4 ,further1 ,i saw that my studies had been my snare4 ,my love of poetry and philosophy and learning1 the prominence of my pulpit1 the social and intellectual affinities ,i had formed1 all had contributed to my spiritual deadness and decline4 ,it was then that ,i put away in that box1 now upstairs1 the books which had particularly ministered to the tastes which had led me so far from the true conception of my life work4 ,never since that day have ,i allowed myself to follow the instinct for poetic expression4 ,that longing had to be cut out1 even if some life-blood flowed in the doing it4 ,henceforth1 ,i wished to know nothing but ,christ1 and him--,anna1 do not fail to grasp this--him1 not triumphant1 but crucified4 ,the offence of the cross to the natural spirit1 how hardly can it be overcome6 ,no child's play1 no easy and harmonious growth in grace1 has it been to me1 but a conflict all the way4 ,your mother has a different type of religious life4 ,be thankful if her temperament shall prove to be yours4 8,that is the story4 ,i left my church not very long after and sought this rugged1 remote section1 because it offered hard work and a needy field1 which some men shunned4 ,some years before ,i had met your mother1 and we were married4 ,twenty years of my life and its best activity have been spent here in ,haran4 ,those first few years and what made life to me in them ,i have looked upon as a false start4 ,from that day1 ,i sought only this one gift3 an especial enduement of the ,holy ,spirit to give me power with men unto salvation4 ,i desired this gift supremely1 but ,i have not received it in any signal manner4 ,my ministry has not been wholly unfruitful1 but it has been lacking in the results for which ,i hoped2 ,i have not had power with ,god and men1 as have some of my more favoured brethren4 ,the end is near now1 very near1 but ,i come with almost empty hands and a humbled1 contrite heart to meet my ,judge4 ,but1 my child1 whatever the conflicts of the past years1 the last thing which ,i could wish for to-day would be to have reversed that early decision4 ,my life1 from the merely human point of view1 might1 perhaps1 on the line of intellectual effort have been counted successful1 while as a minister of ,christ it has not been so to any marked degree3 but what is success1 and what failure1 when the things of time fade before our eyes80 ,samuel ,mallison's head drooped upon one supporting hand1 and an expression of solemn musing rested on his face1 while ,anna's tears flowed fast4 8,just to do our own little day's work faithfully1 not knowing what its part may be in the great whole1 just to hold fast to the word of ,god and the testimony of ,jesus1 and1 having begun the race1 to continue to the end--is not this enough80 ,there was silence between them for some moments1 and then the father said1 making a sign to ,anna to rise3-- 8,i want you to leave me now1 dear child4 ,i must rest4 ,the one earthly hope to which ,i still cling is that to you may be given the reward of #8much fruit1' which ,i have failed to win4 ,remember this1 if all the other teaching ,i have given you shall be forgotten in the years which are to try you1 of what stuff you are made3 with greatness we have nothing at all to do2 faithfulness only is our part40 ,anna ,mallison listened to these words with reverent sympathy and loving response1 but the deeper meaning of them did not reveal itself to her1 her time for perception being not yet fully come4 ,,chapter ,,vi ,o ,joy1 hast thou a shape8 ,hast thou a breath8 ,how fillest thou the soundless air8 ,tell me the pillars of thy house6 ,what rest they on8 ,do they escape ,the victory of ,death8 --,h4 ,h4 ,in the largest theatre of the ,new ,england city of ,springfield on a night in ,december1 an immense assembly of people was gathered4 ,every gallery was crowded to its utmost1 and the house1 from floor to roof1 was a dense mass of human beings4 ,on the stage were musical instruments1 but the customary scenery was withdrawn1 save that the background showed a ,neapolitan villa situated on the slope of a ,swiss mountain1 at the base of which an ultramarine ocean heaved stormily4 ,against the incongruity of this unstable structure were massed several hundred men and women1 and before them a musical leader1 baton in hand4 ,at an appointed signal the great chorus stood1 and with them1 at the gesture of a man1 himself seated near the centre of the foreground of the stage1 the whole audience1 with a rushing sound like the sea or the wind1 rose also4 ,then there was sung by the chorus1 with trained perfection1 an old hymn1 the words of which1 as well as the melody1 were of quaint and almost childish simplicity3-- 8,alas1 and did my ,saviour bleed8 ,and did my ,sovereign die8 ,would he devote that sacred head ,for such a worm as ,i8 ,was it for crimes that ,i had done ,he groaned upon the tree8 ,amazing pity1 grace unknown1 ,and love beyond degree40 ,with a swift motion of his baton the leader indicated that the whole assembly was to join in singing the refrain1 in lowered voices4 ,there followed in a deep murmur of a pathos quite indescribable3-- 8,remember me1 remember me1 ,oh1 ,lord1 remember me6 ,and when thou sittest on thy throne ,dear ,lord1 remember me40 ,at the close of this hymn many people in all parts of the house were in tears1 but the hush of motionless silence following was complete1 and the eyes of all were riveted upon that central figure on the stage1 the man who now rose and1 advancing to the front1 began to address them4 ,this man was of majestic personal presence and his speech was with marked power4 ,thinly veiled under a manner of unusual restraint and quietness lay a genius for emotional appeal and for persuasion4 ,there was in his manner and speech an utter absence of excitability1 and yet a quality which excited2 a capacity for impassioned eloquence1 apparently controlled and held back by the speaker's will4 ,the congregation listened with absorbed attention4 ,at the close of the address1 which was designed to move all the impenitent or irresolute persons present to an immediate confession of their need of a ,saviour1 the speaker asked those of this class who were present and were so inclined to advance and take certain seats1 directly in front of the stage1 which had been reserved for them4 ,a close observer would have been interested in watching the man as this part of the evening's work was ushered in4 ,the restrained intensity of his manner was noticeably augmented2 his eyes moved slowly and searchingly from one part of the house to another with a gaze which no trifler and no awakened soul might escape4 ,the expression of his face was sternly solemn1 even tragical1 as of one undergoing an actual travail of spirit4 ,he stood absolutely motionless save for a single and significant gesture of his right hand1 an upward gesture made with peculiar slowness and with dramatic effect4 ,it was at once entreating1 subduing1 and commanding4 ,at the first moment no person stirred2 but presently1 as if drawn by an irresistible magnetism1 a stream of men and women could be seen advancing down the various aisles1 with fixed look1 pallid faces1 and sometimes with tears4 ,upon such the speaker bent a look of gentleness and encouragement1 in which his features would be momentarily relaxed1 only to resume the profound solemnity already spoken of1 as he lifted his eyes again to the unmoved masses still confronting him4 ,the chorus1 without rising1 now chanted softly the words of vivid appeal3-- 8,why not to-night8 ,why not to-night8 ,thou wouldst be saved1 why not to-night80 ,many moments passed4 ,the company of seekers now numbered a hundred4 ,beneath the absolute outward restraint which held all1 an inner excitement grew steadily in intensity1 and the subtle contagion of 8the crowd0 assumed an irresistible sway4 ,it might have become alarming4 ,it possessed elements of terror just below the surface4 ,a climax was reached when a man of gigantic frame and brutalized features1 in the upper gallery1 stepped forward1 and with a gesture rude and almost wild1 flung out his arms toward the evangelist1 and called through the silence of the place3-- 8,i give in--you knew ,i'd have to4 ,yes1 ,i'm comin'40 ,and then1 turning1 clattered down the bare gallery stairs1 only to reappear presently below1 with his coarse head bent and big tears flowing down his purple cheeks4 ,gradually the stream of seekers abated1 and the aisles became empty4 ,thus far no word of appeal or warning had been added to the sermon2 save for the restrained monotony of the music this extraordinary scene had taken place in complete silence4 ,then the speaker's voice was heard again1 and in it was a strange emotional quality which had been previously unnoticed1 and before which the pride and will of many melted within them4 8,the people of this company are dismissed to their homes10 he said1 in gentle1 measured tones2 8my work now is for those who have feared ,god rather than men4 ,they will remain4 ,let all others go without unnecessary delay1 or stopping for speech with one another4 ,the ,spirit is here40 ,the benediction followed1 but as they broke up1 scores hitherto irresolute turned and joined the company of seekers in the front of the house4 ,when the speaker1 the house being otherwise emptied1 came down to the anxious and disquieted little company waiting for his guidance1 he stood before them in silence for a little space1 and then1 turning to a group of clergymen who were associated with him1 he said3-- 8,pardon me1 but ,i believe ,i will leave these friends in your hands1 brethren4 ,i wish to return immediately to my lodging10 and saying nothing further in explanation or apology1 he departed1 with evident haste4 ,when he reached the lobby of the theatre he found three men watching who hastened toward him1 their spokesman1 with outstretched hand1 introducing himself and his companions and adding1 with eager cordiality3-- 8,this is so much better than we expected4 ,we were prepared to wait for you some time40 ,the man received the greeting gravely1 and1 indeed1 silently4 8,will you come with us now to our hotel8 ,we wish to confer with you4 ,we have come from ,new ,york for that purpose40 8,will you not let me know what you wish here1 at once80 was the rejoinder4 8,i am in some haste40 8,certainly1 certainly1 if you prefer it10 said the other1 cheerfully1 hiding a shade of discomfiture4 ,then1 with a change to serious emphasis1 he proceeded3 8,we want you to undertake a work in ,new ,york this winter1 as soon as possible1 in fact4 ,a large group of prominent churches is ready to unite in the movement1 and unlimited resources will be placed at your disposal4 ,your own compensation1 pardon me for alluding to it1 will be anything you will name--that is a matter of indifference to the committee1 save that it be large enough4 ,we are ready to build you a tabernacle two hundred feet square1--larger if you like40 ,the man addressed involuntarily laid his hand on his breast2 a letter in the pocket under his hand1 from ,chicago1 specified a tabernacle three hundred feet square4 ,he smiled slightly2 even religious zeal was a size larger in ,chicago than elsewhere4 ,further details were mentioned1 but the evangelist seemed to give them a forced and mechanical attention4 ,then1 rather suddenly1 he broke in with a word of apology4 8,i am fully sensible1 gentlemen10 he went on1 8of the confidence you have manifested in me1 and ,i would1 under other conditions1 have accepted your proposition4 ,but the very circumstance of your making it to-night hastens an action on my part which ,i have been approaching1 but had not1 until now1 definitely determined upon4 ,i am about to withdraw from this work1 and can form no engagements1 however promising4 ,i shall close the meetings here as soon as ,i can honourably do so1 and these meetings are1 for the present certainly1 my last40 ,the blank faces of the three men before him seemed to demand a word or two more4 8,my reasons80 he asked with curt and almost chilling brevity4 8,pardon me4 ,they are personal to myself4 ,good evening4 ,no one can regret your disappointment more than ,i40 ,with these words the speaker turned abruptly from the little group and left the theatre4 ,in great amazement and perplexity the committee of three presently followed his example4 ,here was an accredited and earnest man1 no irresponsible religious tramp1 who possessed1 apparently in a superlative degree1 the gift of winning souls for which ,samuel ,mallison had given his all1 if in vain1 and for lack of which he might fairly be said to be dying1 being one who could have lived on spiritual joy1 if such had ever been his portion4 ,and this man1 possessing this coveted and crowning religious endowment1 was deliberately putting it aside1 and refusing to use it4 ,what did it signify8 99 99 99 99 99 ,anna ,mallison had left ,haran1 in its ice-bound valley1 early that morning1 and1 by travelling through snowdrifts in a sleigh all the forenoon1 had been favoured to get as far as ,springfield on her journey1 at nine o'clock of that same evening4 ,she was bound for ,boston1 where she was to go before the missionary board to be examined as to her fitness and promise for a worker on the 8foreign field40 ,at the ,springfield station ,anna had been met by the little missionary lady whom she had heard and met in ,haran on her night of great decision4 ,by her she had been conducted to a hotel1 shown to a room1 affectionately if reticently counselled1 and then left to sleep and be ready for another early start on the following morning4 ,it was the first time ,anna had ever been in a city1 and she was bewildered by the noise and lights in the streets through which she had been hurriedly driven4 ,left alone1 she looked about her at the stiff order of the narrow hotel chamber1 the first she had ever inhabited1 the showy1 shabby carpet1 the cheap carvings of the furniture1 the long mirror in which she herself stood1 still and dreary1 and a rushing wave of heart-sickness swept over her4 ,her anxiety for her father became suddenly poignant2 a sense of the sadness of his life tore her heart with fierce pain3 she realized now1 as she had failed to before1 how fast his strength declined4 ,she longed to know how that moment fared with him1 and how the next would4 ,a wild purpose seized her to return the next morning to ,haran1 and let all other purposes go until some later time4 ,however1 in spite of all this anxiety and doubt1 ,anna's physical weariness was sufficient to bring sleep apace1 when once her head was on the pillow1 and all the distant murmur of the city and the sudden1 uncomprehended noises of the great house were soon lost to her4 ,thus she failed to hear a man who entered the room next to hers within the same hour1 who closed the door with some emphasis and locked it fast2 who1 after that1 walked up and down within the narrow limits of that room with uniform1 slow step1 and who continued to do this until the ,december dawn filtered through the dim windows4 ,all was still in that next room when ,anna awoke4 ,the anxiety and homesickness of the night before were gone1 and in their place was that mysterious joy which once before on a ,june night had strangely visited her4 ,again1 in her dream1 she had seen the face which ever since had dominated her2 as before1 it was majestic1 free1 and strong4 ,as before1 it had bent to her1-- 8,bent down and smiled40 ,she rose hastily1 glad and awed and greatly wondering4 ,at six o'clock she was ready and went down to the great dining-hall1 dark save for the wan light of a single gas jet under which she sat down1 silent and alone1 and was served by a heavy-eyed1 untidy man-servant1 with an indifferent breakfast4 ,she swallowed a few mouthfuls by force of will1 then gathered up her humble belongings1 and started out alone into the icy chill of the grey morning4 ,it was too early for her friend from the ,orient to brave the rigours of the unaccustomed winter4 ,it was all comfortless1 dreary1 and inauspicious2 small cheer for a young girl starting on such an errand1 but there was no sinking now of her spirit4 ,she walked to the ,springfield station in the light and warmth of that inexplicable radiance of her dream1 and so pursued her journey to ,boston4 ,,from ,,anna ,,mallison',s ,,note-,,book ,do you believe in the mutual penetration of mind8 ,do you believe that1 independent of word and voice1 independent of distance1 from one end of the world to the other1 minds can influence and penetrate one another8444 ,do you not know a soul can feel within it another soul which touches it8 --,p,,re ,,gratry4 ,january #bh1 #ahgj4--;,a week to-day since my father was buried4 ,it is late at night1 and ,i have come up to my little roof room1 but ,i cannot sleep4 ,i have been with my mother1 and we have cried together1 until she sleeps at last1 so tired1 and her dear face changed so sadly that1 as she slept1 ,i was almost afraid4 ,and yet she is greatly upheld1 and as gentle and uncomplaining as it is possible to be4 ,but for me1 knowing my father1 and trying to find the meaning of his life1 these days give me less grief than wonder and perplexity4 ,for a time after my father told me the story of his past1 after ,i knew what he might have been1 knew his great renunciation1 his utter humility1 his leaving all to seek one only thing1 and that a gift for others1 and even that being denied him1 so that to himself his life seemed a failure1 and its supreme sacrifice unsanctioned and unblessed--after this ,i could hardly bear the heart-break of it all4 ,so pure1 so blameless1 so devoted a life1 and yet1 to his own thought1 so unfruitful4 ,just a narrow little village church1 with its narrow little victories and defeats1 and its monotony of spiritual ebb and flow--this was the sum of his achievement4 ,was it not hard of ,god8 ,this he would not have said1 but my undisciplined heart has cried out in bitterness and rebellion4 ,i have been in deep doubt and darkness4 ,to-night it is given me to see it all in light1 and ,i am reconciled4 ,the word which changed my father's life was that great word of the ,master1 8,except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die1 it abideth alone40 ,that dying1 the utterness of it1 was what we did not comprehend4 ,i think my father understood before he left us1 although he could not express it4 ,but all along he had felt that in dying in his own personal life to the world and to his ambition1 he was meeting the condition1 and that in his own personal life the fruits of that death were to be manifest1 that he should be set for the salvation of many4 ,but ,god sees not with our short vision4 ,days with him are years1 and years days2 and our whole life but a vapour1 which appeareth for a little time1 and then vanisheth away4 ,this has come to me3 ,my father's sacrifice has borne in the life of one of his children1 if not in all1 the fruit of an especial dedication of that life to the service of ,god4 ,if he had not been the man he was1 if he had not laid down his life daily and hourly in humble self-surrender to the ,divine ,will1 never1 never should ,i have dreamed of giving myself to the work to which ,i am now pledged4 ,his life1 in its deepest working1 had been wrought into mine1 so that unconsciously ,i willed to be what he would have willed to have me4 ,so1 then1 it is no more ,i alone1 but the spirit1 the will1 the nature of my father that worketh in me4 ,the ,god of my father--this phrase1 so common1 so almost commonplace before1 has suddenly taken to itself an extraordinary significance4 ,my father's ,god1 my ,god1 who began in my father's willing sacrifice of all the noblest powers of his manhood his purpose of grace1 will now1 in his good pleasure1 carry on the one work1 the same so begun1 through me1 all unworthy as ,i am1 timid1 trembling1 but a child4 ,a child1 and yet called with this high calling2 child of a saint1 called solemnly1 sacredly1 in the very depths of my being1 deeper than ,i feel1 higher than ,i know1 to be my father's child1 to be the continuance1 the fulfilment of his dying life1 to finish what he began1 to bring to fruitage the seed he died to sow4 ,how sublime1 how sweet1 how awful the vocation wherewith ,i am called6 ,then look upon me1 ,o my ,god1 my father's ,god6 ,behold my weakness2 raise it into power2 turn my dull mind to light1 my hard and narrow heart to a flame of love2 make me thy minister1 thy messenger1 fulfil in me all thy great will4 ,february #bj4--,to-night ,i am alone in the old home1 not our home any more4 ,it is stripped already of all that made it home1 but1 bare and grim as it is1 ,i love it1 and leave it with a sorrow my heart is yet too tired to realize4 ,they have consented to let me sleep this one last night in my own little room4 ,this poor bed is to be left1 being not worth removing1 and all that clothes it goes with me4 ,so1 like a pilgrim1 under a tent roof for a single night1 ,i lie alone1 and look up beyond the dear old gable and see the winter stars4 ,they shine upon his grave1 and the snow already has drifted over it1 and my heart bleeds4 ,why will they not let us pray for our dead as the ,romish people do8 ,oh1 kind little father1 gone what dim1 dazzling way ,i do not know1 will they let you be happy at last8 ,will ,god let you see why8 ,february #ba4--;,it was a strange night1 and yet most beautiful4 ,i hardly slept1 but prayed until nearly dawn4 ,then ,i slept a short time1 and woke to find my limbs racked with pain from the bitter chill of the room1 and tears running down my face4 ,almost as if ,i were carrying out an order given me in my sleep1 ,i hurried on my clothing1 and1 taking my candle1 came down the stairs1 both flights1 through the empty1 echoing house1 to the rooms below4 ,i was so cold that ,i shook from head to foot4 ,then ,i found in the kitchen wood left from our store1 and ,i brought it into the east room1 the parlour1 where we laid my father after his death1 and where ,i had sat beside his dear form each night4 ,the great fireplace was bare and empty1 like the room1 but the andirons were left4 ,i laid the wood across and started the fire1 and it blazed and gave light1 and threw strange shadows about the room1 and ,i kneeled beside it1 on the hearth1 as ,i used sometimes when ,i was a little child1 and warmed my hands1 and still ,i cried1 and there was no one to comfort me4 ,mally says she would have been afraid--in that room4 ,i cannot understand4 ,it is because her dearest have not died4 ,what of him could have been anything but precious8 ,to have felt his spirit near me6 ,that would indeed have been holy consolation4 ,but what if that were true8 ,i do not know4 ,while ,i so crouched in the chimney corner1 my heart bleeding1 and the tears bathing my poor face1 there was a soft touch1 lighter than the flight of a thistledown1 passing over my head1 as if the gentlest hand ,god himself could make gentle had smoothed my hair1 and sought to comfort me4 ,then some one said3 8,i came here to be with you40 ,but ,i do not know whether it was ,i who so said in my own heart1 or whether the words were spoken to my ear4 ,i only know that ,i was comforted1 and the fire warmed my aching limbs1 and my head drooped against the wall1 and ,i slept with long sobs1 as ,i slept once when ,i was a child1 and my dear father ministered to me4 ,it was broad daylight when ,i awoke1 and ,i felt soothed and strong4 ,i rose to go and make ready to lock and leave the house4 ,but first ,i knelt and prayed1 and ,i am praying still4 ,live in me1 ,o ,god1 as my father lives in me1 and as thou didst live in him4 ,let me live the life and die the death which he sought to live1 to die1 for thee4 ,give thou unto him through me abiding fruit in the salvation of souls2 and grant us such grace as that we may humbly and worthily fulfil thy gracious will1 ,i on earth1 as he in heaven4 ,,chapter ,,vii ,she ,dorothea could not reconcile the anxieties of a spiritual life involving eternal consequences1 with a keen interest in gimp1 and artificial protrusions of drapery4--,middlemarch1 ,,george ,,eliot4 ,a small house in a small street of a small provincial city4 ,a faded brown house with its front door directly on the street1 the steps jutting into the sidewalk4 ,a narrow strip of yard overlaid with grimy snow separated this house from others on either side1 equally unnotable and uninteresting1 the dwellings of mechanics and small tradesmen4 ,it was the close of a rough ,march day1 the wind had not died with sunsetting1 and a thin1 piercing rain1 colder than snow1 was driven before it into the very teeth of the few passers-by4 ,a tall woman1 in a straight black dress with a dyed black shawl drawn tightly around her shoulders1 was making her way down the street dead against the wind1 which beat her hair out into wet strands and bound her skirts hard about the slender long limbs4 ,she made no useless attempt to hold an umbrella2 in fact1 she carried none1 but was heavily burdened with four or five large books4 ,she was girlish in figure after a severe sort1 her step steady1 her movement without impatience or fluttering1 in spite of the struggle with the wind4 ,seeing her face1 the absorbedness of sorrow in it was profound enough to explain indifference to sharper buffetings than those of the wind4 ,it was ,anna ,mallison4 ,when she reached the house she deposited her books on the icy step and drew from her pocket with stiffened1 aching fingers a key with which she unlocked the door4 ,the house was unlighted1 and its close1 airless precincts apparently empty4 ,stooping1 ,anna gathered her books again and closed the door1 then groped her way to a steep staircase1 a weary sigh escaping her as if in spite of herself4 ,the room which she entered1 silent and dark at her coming1 showed itself1 when she had lighted a lamp1 a low but spacious living room1 stiffly and even meagrely furnished4 ,opening beyond it was a smaller bedroom4 ,having laid aside shawl and bonnet1 ,anna made preparation for a simple evening meal for two persons4 ,not until these were made did she stop to realize that she was chilled and that her shoes were wet through4 ,characteristically it was of the shoes she took cognizance rather than of her feet--circumstances having thus far led her to regard health as an easier thing to acquire than food and raiment4 ,there was a sudden outburst now1 from below1 of merry voices1 both a man's voice and a girl's1 in loud and cheerful banter1 then the house door shut with a bang1 there was a quick step on the stairs1 and a gay1 fluttering1 wind-blown figure of a pretty girl appeared in the upper sitting room4 ,it was ,mally ,loveland1 ,anna's early ,haran friend and companion4 8,holloa1 ,anna60 she called lightly1 8lucky for me you got in first6 ,a fire is a good thing1 ,i tell you1 on a night like this40 ,mally's voice had acquired a new ring of self-confident vivacity4 8,you're a little late1 ,mally10 remarked ,anna1 quietly1 as she returned to the room4 8,shall ,i make tea80 8,oh1 yes1 do2 there's a dear4 ,oh1 such fun as we've been having at the ,allens'6 ,but ,i'm so chilly and damp1 you know2 and just look1 ,anna1 at the ribbons on my hat40 ,mally held up to view a pretentious structure of ribbon and velvet which had plainly suffered many things of the elements4 8,too bad4 ,i hope you won't go out again to-night1 your cold was so bad yesterday4 ,it is a wretched night40 8,oh1 ,i must go out1 my dear--must indeed6 ,couldn't disappoint the girls1 you know40 8,nor even the boys80 asked ,anna smiling4 ,mally laughed at this1 evidently pleased4 ,in a few moments she was ready and they took their places at the tea-table1 ,mally quieting herself with an effort1 in order to ask a brief blessing upon the meal4 ,it was her turn to-night4 ,the two coperated in their religious exercises of a general character1 as well as in their housekeeping4 ,destiny1 so eagerly challenged by these two village girls in the eventless isolation of their life in ,haran1 seemed at last to have declared itself decisively3 both were to catch men1--,anna in the apostolic sense1 ,mally in a different one4 ,anna's journey to ,boston1 three months earlier1 had been successful4 ,she had returned under appointment as a missionary to ,india2 but being still too young to go out1 the ,board had advised her to spend the following two years in studies especially designed to develop her usefulness in work among the heathen4 ,in ,january ,samuel ,mallison had died4 ,the parsonage1 where the children had been born and nurtured1 could thus no longer be their home4 ,it must be made ready now for a successor4 ,it had been a sorrowful breaking up1 and when the melancholy work was done1 and the home effaced forever1 the mother1 patient and uncomplaining1 departed with ,lucia to the lonely farmhouse among the hills1 to take on again1 in her later years of life1 the many cares of tending little children4 ,it was then that ,anna1 accompanied by her friend ,mally1 had come to ,burlington with the purpose of studying at a collegiate institute1 which offered opportunity for more advanced study than could be had in ,haran4 ,anna was hard at work every morning on ,paley's 8,evidences0 and ,butler's 8,analogy10 while her afternoons were spent in the small hospital of the town1 in an informal nurses' class1 as it was even then considered a useful thing for missionaries to go out with some equipment for healing the bodies of men as well as their souls4 ,mally1 by her own account1 was 8taking0 music1 painting1 and ,french4 ,as they sat at their little table now1 with its meagre and humble fare1 but its indefinable expression of refinement1 ,anna and ,mally were in striking contrast4 ,it has been said before that ,anna matured slowly4 ,there was still in her face1 despite its sadness1 the grave wonder1 the artless simplicity1 and the sweet unconsciousness of a child4 ,her figure was angular and undeveloped2 her black dress1 absolutely1 harshly plain1 and of coarse stuff2 her face1 far too thin and colourless for beauty4 ,she was1 plainly1 underfed and overworked2 but there was1 nevertheless1 a dignity and a distinction in her aspect which emphasized ,mally's provincialness1 notwithstanding the little fashionable touches about dress and coiffure which the latter had swiftly and instinctively adapted to her own use4 ,anna had the repose of a person who is not concerned at all as to the impression she makes1 or desirous of making any personal impression whatever4 ,mally had the restlessness1 the vivacity1 the eagerness1 of a woman who wishes everywhere and at every time to make herself felt1 to be the central figure4 ,she was born an egotist1 and even 8divine grace10 in the devotional phraseology of that time1 had not been sufficient to overcome her natural bent4 ,at the present time1 in fact1 egotism was having comparatively easy work with her1 and an indefinite truce with the religious conflicts of earlier days had been tacitly declared4 ,that spiritual experience had been sincere1 and it had lasted several years4 ,fortunately1 to ,mally's unspoken thought1 she had been favoured during those years to work out her salvation1 which was now1 according to a prime doctrine of the church1 secured to her against all accidents4 ,this being so1 no one need be concerned for her2 and if she were herself satisfied with a low spiritual attainment1 it was nobody's business but her own4 ,she had1 to her own nave surprise1 met with a marked degree of social success in a certain middle-class stratum of the small town4 ,she was pretty1 clever1 adaptive2 the young men and women of her set said she was 8such good company40 ,this was high praise4 ,in ,haran the natural order for a marriageable girl was to be soberly and decorously and protractedly wooed by one young man1 to whom1 in process of time1 she was married4 ,here ,mally found a far more stimulating social condition4 ,not one man1 but many1 might be the portion of a popular girl1 and ,mally found the strength of numbers very great4 ,the sex instinct1 the ruling desire to attract men1 sprang into vigorous action1 and became1 for a time at least1 predominant4 ,women of whom this is true are often very good women1 with energy and common sense1 but it is important for their friends1 for various reasons1 to hold the master key to their character4 ,anna ,mallison1 at this period of her life as sexless in her conscious life as a star1 looked on at this rapid and unlooked-for development of ,mally's nature in infinite perplexity4 ,she had always liked certain men1 even outside her own kindred1 but it was because they were wise or good or sincere1 not because they were men4 ,a thirst for admiration being thus far undeclared in her own life1 ,mally became inexplicable to her2 she did not hold the key to her character1 and involuntarily she withdrew more and more into herself1 her only friend becoming thus uncomprehended4 ,if she felt this in any degree1 ,mally1 being closely occupied with more tangible consideration1 paid small heed to it4 ,while they were taking tea1 ,anna kept her eyes fixed on the mantel clock1 and1 having eaten hastily1 rose from her place4 8,what is the matter80 asked ,mally1 looking up4 8,oh1 of course2 but1 dear me1 ,anna1 ,i never would bother to get things ready for old ,marm ,wilson1 after the way she grumbles at you4 ,sit down1 do4 ,you'll never get any thanks1 ,i can tell you that2 and what's the use80 ,anna was at the door already4 8,i think it's late enough now to be safe4 ,she only grumbles1 you know1 if the oil and wood burn out awhile before she gets here4 ,she was to work quite near on ,hill ,street1 to-day1 so she will surely be in early40 8,oh1 well1 go on if you've a mind to4 ,i suppose it is forlorn on a night like this for the poor old creature to find her house all dark and cold10 ,mally spoke carelessly1 half to herself4 ,anna was already half-way downstairs4 ,mrs4 ,wilson was their houseowner1 a seamstress of narrow means and narrower life whose upper rooms they rented4 ,an hour later the upper sitting room was suddenly enlivened and almost filled1 as far as seating capacity was concerned1 by a group of ,mally's friends1 who had come to escort her to an evening gathering4 ,these young men and maidens1 whom ,anna had scarcely seen before1 seemed to explain the new ,mally to her1 and to place her at a different angle1 as one of a class1 not one by herself4 ,the girls all wore a profusion of ribbons and curls1 and were all in an effervescence of noisy excitement regarding the effect of the dampness on their hair and their finery2 they whispered and giggled together1 and pouted at the young men1 or tossed their heads and assumed exaggerated airs of being shocked at the personal remarks which these attendants volunteered1 and with which they were1 in fact1 palpably delighted4 ,anna1 who attempted some quiet civilities from time to time1 was regarded with undisguised indifference1 as not being 8one of the set40 ,after the young people had left the house1 however1 ,mally's companion on their expedition1 a young man somewhat above the others in intelligence1 said to her3-- 8,what an unusual girl that friend of yours1 that ,miss ,mallison1 is4 ,i never met any one just like her4 ,she strikes me as a girl who would keep a fellow at a mighty distance2 but if she ever did care for him1 he wouldn't mind dying for her1 you know1 and all that sort of thing4 ,but she isn't one of the kind you like to play games with40 ,,chapter ,,viii ,she was a queen of noble ,nature's crowning1 ,a smile of hers was like an act of grace2 ,she had no winsome looks1 no pretty frowning1 ,like daily beauties of the vulgar race2 ,but1 if she smiled1 a light was on her face1 ,a clear1 cool kindliness1 a lunar beam ,of peaceful radiance4 --,,hartley ,,coleridge4 ,to the surprise of both the friends1 ,anna1 who had gone about her rigorous tasks unseen and unnoted hitherto1 began about this time to come into a certain comparative prominence in the quiet little city4 ,a day or two after the evening described in the last chapter1 ,anna received a note from ,mrs4 ,ingraham1 the wife of a distinguished citizen of the town1 a man of great wealth1 and a well-known senator4 ,the ,ingrahams were1 perhaps1 the most highly placed family in the little town1 by right of distinguished antecedents1 of wealth1 and of habit of life4 ,they belonged to that singularly privileged class1 which ,anna ,mallison had not hitherto encountered1 who have both will and power to appropriate the most select of all things which minister to the individual development1 whether things material1 things intellectual1 or things spiritual4 ,thus ,mrs4 ,ingraham and her daughters were women of fashion1 prominent figures at the state functions of their own state1 and well known in the inner circles of ,washington society4 ,they dressed superlatively well in clothes that came from ,paris4 ,at the same time they were as much at home among literary as among fashionable folk1 and ,mrs4 ,ingraham at least was understood to be devotedly religious1 with an especial penchant for foreign missions4 ,in fine1 all things were theirs4 ,thus it was an event for ,anna ,mallison1 in her dull1 low-ceiled upper room1 to open and read the note of ,mrs4 ,senator ,ingraham to herself1--a note written in graceful1 flowing hand1 on sumptuous1 ivorylike paper1 squarely folded1 with a crest on the seal1 and the faintest suggestion of violets escaping almost before perceived4 ,the note was delicately courteous1 a marvel of gracious tact4 ,mrs4 ,ingraham had heard through a friend that ,miss ,mallison was under appointment as a missionary to ,india1 and had sincerely wished to meet her4 ,on ,friday evening a dear ,christian worker from ,boston1 now her guest1 was to hold a little parlour meeting at the house for the help and encouragement of friends who were interested in a higher ,christian life4 ,would not ,miss ,mallison give them all the pleasure of making one of that number8 ,mrs4 ,ingraham would esteem it a personal favour2 and if ,miss ,mallison felt that she could tell the little company something of the experience she had had in being led into this beautiful life work1 it would be most acceptable4 ,however1 this was by no means urged1 but merely suggested and left entirely to ,miss ,mallison's preference4 ,the man who had brought the note waited on the narrow walk below for ,anna's answer4 ,he wore a sober but handsome livery4 ,this was the first invitation of the kind which ,anna had received1 but she had now somewhat accustomed herself1 by the advice of the ,board1 to speaking in women's missionary meetings1 and it seemed to her right to say yes4 ,accordingly1 on untinted note-paper of a very common grade1 she said yes in a natural and simple way1 and made haste to give the note to the man at the door below1 whom she felt distressed to keep waiting4 ,this man removed his shining hat in respectful acknowledgment as he took the note1 and told ,anna that ,mrs4 ,ingraham had asked him to say1 having forgotten to mention it in her note1 that in case ,miss ,mallison would be so kind as to come1 ,mrs4 ,ingraham would send the carriage for her at half-past seven on ,friday evening4 ,anna felt that she ought to deprecate so much attention1 and timidly attempted to do so2 but the man plainly was not further empowered to treat in the matter1 and1 bowing respectfully1 departed with ,anna's pallid1 long and narrow envelope in his well-gloved hand4 ,when ,mally came in1 ,anna handed her ,mrs4 ,ingraham's note4 ,mally's face flushed noticeably as she read it4 ,it was not easy for her to have her quiet friend thus preferred4 8,you'll go1 of course80 she commented rather coldly1 as she handed it back4 8,yes40 8,i should think you would by all means4 ,who wouldn't8 ,i've heard lots about ,mrs4 ,ingraham2 she believes in a very high religious life1 you know1 and those rich higher-life people live high1 ,i can tell you4 ,there'll be a supper1 depend on that1 and it will be a fine one40 8,oh1 ,i don't think there will be anything of that kind10 interposed ,anna1 hastily4 8,you see60 cried ,mally1 with an air of superior wisdom and wide social experience4 8,oh my6 if ,i should tell you all ,i've heard about those ,ingrahams1 you'd be surprised4 ,one night they have a prayer-meeting and the next night a dance4 ,it's all right1 ,i suppose4 ,kind of new1 that's all40 ,on the following evening1 when the luxurious ,ingraham carriage was driven up before ,mrs4 ,wilson's poor little house1 many eyes peered narrowly from neighbours' windows to catch the unwonted sight2 and ,anna1 slipping hastily out of the ,wilson door1 felt an access of humility in this exaltation of herself1 for such she knew it seemed to her neighbours1 transient though it was4 ,she had suffered a guilty and apologetic consciousness all day toward ,mally1 who had treated her with a slight coolness and indifference1 which afflicted ,anna keenly4 ,when ,anna entered the hall of the ,ingraham house1 a small1 stout woman1 in a brown dress and smooth hair1 came out to greet her1 and took her hand between both her own1 which were white and soft and heavily weighted with diamonds4 ,anna found the diamonds confusing1 but she knew the hands were kind4 ,mrs4 ,ingraham's manner1 of sincere kindliness and dignity1 put ,anna wholly at her ease1 and she looked about her1 presently1 at the subdued luxury and elegance of her surroundings with a frank1 childlike pleasure4 ,her absolute unconsciousness of herself saved ,anna from the awkwardness which her unusual height1 her angular thinness1 and her unaccustomedness to social contact might otherwise have produced4 ,she wore her 8other dress10 which was of plain black poplin1 but quite new1 and not ungraceful in its straight untortured lines2 and as she entered the great drawing-room1 with its splendours of costly art1 and met the eyes of many people who were watching her entrance1 the quiet gravity and simplicity of her bearing were hardly less than grace4 ,two women1 dressed with elegance and apparently not deeply touched with religiousness1 commented apart a little later1 having met and spoken in turn with the lady from ,boston and the young missionary elect4 8,what do you think of ,mrs4 ,ingraham's new saints80 asked one1 whose black dress was heavily studded with jet ornaments4 8,i like the young missionary better than the ,bostonian1 myself10 was the reply4 ,the speaker had red hair and an exquisite figure4 8,isn't she curious1 though80 she continued4 8,manners1 you know1 but absolutely no manner6 ,i never encountered a woman before1 even at her age1 who positively had none40 8,that is what ails her1 isn't it80 returned her beaded friend4 8,you've just hit it4 ,and you can see that tremendously developed missionary conscience of hers in every line of her face and figure1 don't you know you can80 8,figure1 my dear8 ,she has none4 ,i never saw such an utter absence of the superfluous60 ,here they both laughed clandestinely behind their laced handkerchiefs4 8,do you know how ,i should describe that girl80 challenged the ,titian beauty1 recovering4 8,cleverly1 without doubt40 8,i should call her a scaffolding over a conscience40 8,that is really very good1 ,evelyn4 ,you can see that she is not even consciously a woman yet4 ,she knows nothing of life or of herself or of this goodly frame1 the earth1 save what that ,new ,england conscience of hers has interpreted to her4 ,her horizon is as narrow as her chest40 8,poor thing4 ,how will she bear life1 ,i wonder60 and the words died into a whisper1 for at that moment the little talking1 moving groups of men and women were called to take the chairs1 which had been arranged in comfortable order1 and give attention to what was to follow4 ,,chapter ,,ix ,when the soul1 growing clearer1 ,sees ,god no nearer2 ,when the soul1 mounting higher1 ,to ,god comes no nigher2 ,but the arch-fiend ,pride ,mounts at her side1 ,and1 when she fain would soar1 ,makes idols to adore1 ,changing the pure emotion ,of her high devotion ,to a skin-deep sense ,of her own eloquence2 ,strong to deceive1 strong to enslave-- ,save1 oh6 save4 --,,matthew ,,arnold4 ,anna was the first to speak4 ,when she rose and faced the little audience1 made up of fashionable women1 professional men1 and a sprinkling of the more clearly defined religious 8workers01 she did not feel the coldness underlying their courteous attention4 ,the ,titian beauty fixed upon her eyes full of unconsciously patronizing kindness1 and ,mrs4 ,ingraham smiled at her with sympathetic encouragement1 but they might have spared themselves the effort4 ,anna did not perceive or consider these things4 ,she was not thinking of them at all1 nor of herself4 ,the peculiar twofold consecration which rested upon her spirit in regard to her missionary vocation1 as a call to fulfil at once the ,divine ,will and the will of her father1 was so profound and so solemn as to remove her from personal and passing cares4 ,she would not herself have chosen to appear before these people and to speak to them of her supreme interest2 but to do so had been laid upon her as duty1 and ,anna's conception of duty1 by reason of the 8tremendously developed conscience0 which the worldly-wise women had discerned in her1 was of something to be done4 ,she did this duty with the simple directness of a soldier under command4 ,she stood erect and motionless1 with no nervous working of hands or trembling of lips1 and spoke in a clear1 low voice1 in which alone1 by reason of a peculiar vibrant pathos1 the profound1 undeclared passion of her nature was suggested4 ,her critics of the early evening had been right in finding her destitute of manner4 ,there was no slightest evidence as she spoke of the orator's instinct--the magnetism of kindling eye and changing expression1 of the conciliation and subtle flattery of her hearers4 ,neither had she fervid personal raptures nor spiritual triumphs to communicate4 ,of the picturesque and pathetic elements of the situation she made no use whatever4 ,she had simply an absolute1 dominating conviction that the heathen were lost2 that they could only be saved by the knowledge of ,christ2 that this knowledge must be conveyed to them by the disciples of ,christ at his command2 and that she1 ,anna ,mallison1 was humbly grateful that she was permitted to devote herself to a service so obviously necessary4 ,of these things she spoke2 of the sacred sense of living out her father's disappointed life she naturally could not speak4 ,it was not the speech which ,mrs4 ,ingraham and her guests had expected4 ,they had looked to have their sympathies aroused by a pathetic recital of sacrifice and exalted self-devotion4 ,anna1 on the contrary1 was unconscious of sacrifice1 and felt herself simply grateful for the privilege of carrying out her innermost desires4 ,the people who heard her felt that to give up 8the world0 was a mighty thing4 ,anna did not yet know what 8the world0 was4 ,to their anticipation1 she had been a figure almost as romantic and moving as a young novitiate about to take conventual vows2 to herself1 she was an enlisted soldier who has received marching orders1 and whose heart exults soberly1 since there are ties which may be broken1 and death1 perhaps1 awaiting1 but even so exults with joyful response4 ,thus1 to most of those who heard her1 ,anna's little speech was a distinct disappointment2 the very loftiness of her conception of her calling made it featureless1 and robbed it of adaptation to easy emotional effect4 ,the ladies who had discussed her before her speech found1 after it1 that it was1 after all1 exactly what might have been expected--altogether of a piece with the austerity of her figure1 and her sad1 colourless face1 no warmth1 no emotion--just the hard ,puritan conscience at its hardest4 ,there were two or three only who felt the spiritual elevation belonging to the girl and to what she said1 and the underlying pathos of her high restraint1 as too great to put into the conventional phrases of sympathy and praise1 and so kept silence4 ,there was a brief pause after ,anna returned to her seat1 during which people stirred and spoke in low tones1 and the beaded lady leaned over and thanked ,anna for her 8charming little talk04 ,then ,mrs4 ,westervelt1 the guest from ,boston came forward and began speaking with a winning smile1 a gentle1 soothing voice1 and an affectionate reference to 8the dear1 sweet young sister40 ,she had the ease and flexibility of the practised public speaker2 the winning and dimpled smile with which she won the company at the start was in frequent use1 and she made constant motions with a pair of very white hands4 ,she was quietly dressed1 and yet1 after the straightness of ,anna's poor best gown1 her attire had its own air of handsome comfort4 ,the perfect command of her voice and of herself established instantaneously a rapport with her audience1 of which ,anna1 in her inexperience1 had never dreamed4 ,her beloved ,mrs4 ,ingraham1 she said1 had asked her to tell the dear friends of some wonderful answers to prayer which she had recently experienced1 but before doing this she craved the privilege of reading a few verses of ,scripture4 ,she then read certain passages from the prophecy of ,zechariah1 detached from one another1 taken entirely from their historic setting1 but fitted together with some care4 ,the speaker explained that she had1 in her earlier ,christian life1 found some difficulty in interpreting this rather obscure passage1 but in the new life of complete sanctification1 into which it had been her glorious privilege to enter1 she had come to see all ,scripture by a new and marvellous light4 ,no longer did she trust to the dry and formal explanations of scholars1 many of whom1 it was but too well known1 had never had the deep things of ,god revealed to them1 and who had been led into many errors by their pride of learning4 ,all that kind of study was past for her1 for the dear ,lord himself showed her1 when she lifted her heart to him1 just what he meant in his blessed word4 ,this had been her experience in regard to the passage just read4 ,to the natural mind there were difficulties in it1 but just below the surface was the great precious truth which ,god would have all his children receive4 ,it had been given her that when she came to the beautiful home of ,mrs4 ,ingraham1 and should be called upon to speak to these friends1 she must bring them this particular passage4 ,but it had looked dark to her1 and she was in doubt how to interpret it4 ,but as she had been in the cars1 coming up from ,boston1 she had said3 8,now1 ,lord1 those dear friends in ,burlington will want to know just what you meant by that sweet portion of your word1 and ,i do not feel that ,i can tell them unless you enlighten me4 ,what is it that is intended by the two staves in the hand of the prophet1 one called ,beauty and one called ,bands80 ,then the dear ,lord had sweetly spoken in the secret place of her heart1 as distinctly as if with an audible voice3 8,my child1 the old life of formalism1 of coldness1 and of worldly pleasure in which many ,christians live is the staff called ,bands4 ,the higher life1 the life of answered prayer1 the life of perfect sanctification and fulness of blessing1 is ,beauty4 ,take this message to my dear children in ,burlington40 ,oh1 how simple6 ,oh1 how sweet6 ,who would weary heart and brain over the interpretations of rationalistic ,german commentators1 when we could thus have the direct interpretation of his own word by the ,lord himself8 ,thus ,mrs4 ,westervelt proceeded at some length on this line1 and then1 with tearful eyes and an added intensity of the personal element1 she rehearsed the answers to prayer which her friend1 ,mrs4 ,ingraham1 had rightly called wonderful4 ,thus1 in carrying on the work of preaching perfect sanctification in ,boston1 a room had been needed for meetings4 ,two or three of the little band had prayed1 and within a week they had had a most suitable room offered them by a precious sister1 but it was unfurnished4 ,the details of securing the equipment of this room were now described4 ,each piece of furniture1 the speaker declared1 had been directly given in answer to special prayer and by a marvellous interposition4 ,if any natural means had been at work by which persons in sympathy with their efforts were led to supply their obvious needs1 these were not mentioned4 ,plainly it was ,mrs4 ,westervelt's conception of a perfect relation to ,god that the one sustaining it should receive constant miraculous testimony of the divine favour4 ,the privilege of attaining this condition was presented with fervid emphasis4 ,it was the high and perfect life6 ,who would live on the old plane when this was what ,god had for them8 ,oh1 how beautiful it was to trust6 ,why should we ever doubt1 when we were so plainly told that whatsoever we ask we shall receive8 ,as ,mrs4 ,westervelt went on1 many of her hearers were moved to tears1 and a continuous response of sympathetic looks and subdued exclamations followed her recital of her surprising experiences4 ,the wealthy women present felt that this was certainly a fine thing for those who could not get what they wanted by ordinary business methods1 but were1 perhaps1 secretly glad that they were not themselves called upon to test their relation to ,god quite so pointedly4 ,the poorer and humbler guests wept profusely1 thinking how long they had stumbled on in the dull and inferior practice of working painfully for many needed things1 which might all have been miraculously given them1 if they had only been favourites of ,god1 like ,mrs4 ,westervelt1 or1 as she would have said1 8had only just stepped out into the fulness40 ,anna ,mallison sat and listened in unspeakable astonishment4 ,this was as absolutely new a gospel to her as the gospel of ,christ to a disciple of ,buddha4 ,it was her first contact with sentimental religion4 ,the ,god of her father had been the immutable and eternal ,creator1 the high and holy ,one inhabiting eternity1 the ,judge of all the earth4 ,through the ,incarnation the just anger of this ,holy ,being toward sinful men had been appeased4 ,but although in ,christ there had been found access to ,god and an ,intercessor1 never had it entered into the heart of ,samuel ,mallison or those whom he led to regard themselves as occupying a position other than of deepest humility1 self-distrust1 awe1 and reverence4 ,mrs4 ,westervelt's phraseology was almost like a foreign tongue to ,anna4 ,the constant use of terms of familiar endearment in speaking of the ,almighty2 the application of affectionate and flattering adjectives on all sides2 the sense of a peculiar and intimate relation established between herself and ,god2 and the free-and-easy conversational1 in fact1 rather colloquial1 style in which she held herself privileged to communicate with him1--were almost amazing to her4 ,and beneath all these superficial marks of a new cult1 lay the deeper sense of the inherent disparity4 ,religion to ,anna had been1 it has been said earlier1 a system of prohibitions1 of self-denials1 of self-abasement1 with only at rare intervals the illumination of a profound sense of the love of ,god4 ,here was a religion which held up a species of luxurious spiritual enjoyment1 of unrestrained freedom in approaching ,god1 of an indubitable sense of being personally on the best of terms with him1 as the privilege of all true believers4 ,the conception of prayer which ,mrs4 ,westervelt had demonstrated was not less surprising to ,anna4 ,she knew that there were wide and sweeping scriptural promises with regard to prayer1 but she had always felt a deep mystery attaching itself to them4 ,for herself1 she had never ventured to intrude her temporal gratifications and designs upon the attention of her ,god1 but had rather felt a sober silence regarding these things to best befit a sinful creature coming before a holy ,creator4 ,half revolting1 but half smitten with compunction1 the thought now flashed through her mind that1 if she had only prayed after this new sort1 her father might have received the oranges for which he had sorely longed in the months before his death4 ,this luxury was not to be obtained in ,haran1 and had therefore been patiently foregone1 heaven and ,burlington having seemed equally inaccessible at the time4 ,mrs4 ,westervelt sat down1 and the meeting broke up1 a swarm of enthusiastic1 tearful women rushing to surround her and pour out their effusive appreciation of her wonderful address4 ,anna stood bewildered and alone1 doubting within herself4 ,had it all been the highest consecration1 as it undoubtedly desired to be8 or had it been the highest presumption1 the old temptation of spiritual pride1 assuming a new guise8 ,two clergymen of the city1 who had been attentive listeners during the whole evening1 not being moved to pour out their admiration upon either speaker1 quietly strayed across the hall into ,mr4 ,ingraham's library4 ,the senator himself was absent4 8,well1 ,nichols10 said ,dr4 ,harvey1 the older man1 who had a shrewd1 kindly1 smooth-shaven face1 8what do you think of that for ,old ,testament exegesis80 8,it was pretty stiff to have the responsibility for it given to the ,lord10 returned his friend4 8,i almost felt like interrupting her to say that1 with all due respect1 the ,lord never told her any such thing1 her interpretation being monstrously untrue40 8,it was awful1 simply awful10 said the other1 with slow emphasis4 8,such fantastic tricks before high heaven might make men1 as well as angels1 weep4 ,and then her familiarity with the ,lord1 ,nichols1--why1 man1 she positively patronized the ,almighty60 8,it is true1 and yet1 do you know1 ,doctor1 that woman has some extraordinary elements for success in such work80 8,if she hadn't1 she would be of no importance1 my dear fellow4 ,she has a fine homiletic instinct4 ,that is just where the danger lies4 ,but1 after all1 she represents only one danger--there are others4 ,she is simply the modern mystic--a kind of latter-day1 diluted ,madame ,guyon4 ,too much of the thing is a trifle nauseous1 perhaps1 but it represents the revolt of devout souls1 in every age1 from formalism1 and is inevitably an excess1 like all revolt4 ,doubtless there will be such revolt1 world without end1 and it will have its uses40 8,it was fairly pathetic to see how eagerly those women rushed forward to receive her2 evidently that's the message they are pining for4 ,they don't go for us that way1 ,doctor40 8,no2 and they didn't for that first speaker1 ,mallison's daughter4 ,i knew him4 ,poor man1 what a mystic he might have made1 if he had let himself go6 ,this girl is much like him--the old ,new ,england type2 religion with all colour and sentiment clean purged out of it4 ,cold as ice1 chaste as snow1 the antipodes of the ,guyon-,westervelt danger4 ,talk of holiness1--poor ,mallison1--he was the holiest man ,i ever knew1 and in this life the least rewarded10 and the old clergyman shook his head with a mournful smile4 8,i fancied1 when ,i heard her speak1 although ,i had no idea who she was1 that this daughter of his had not exactly revelled in the luxury of religion40 8,no2 but ,i tell you1 ,nichols1 she is none the worse for that1 at her age4 ,there is a hardihood1 an unconscious1 sturdy fortitude in that earlier type1 which we mightily need in the world to-day4 ,to me1 that girl was positively beautiful1 because--notice what ,i say1 ,nichols--she is absolutely true40 8,very likely40 8,yes2 but when you have thought it over1 tell me1 some day1 how many men and women you know of whom you can say that4 ,if you know one1 you will do well40 ,dr4 ,harvey1 as he said these words1 rose to leave the library1 but stopped and stood1 as there appeared at that moment at the hall door the figure of a man who was apparently passing through the hall4 ,so silent and so sudden was his coming1 and so singular his aspect1 that the younger of the two men1 perceiving him1 started violently in involuntary surprise1 and was conscious of a disagreeable sensation along the course of his veins4 ,this man1 who had approached the door with noiseless steps1 might have been young1 or might have been old4 ,he was of unusual height1 with narrow shoulders1 short body1 and disproportionate length of limb4 ,his face1 an elongated oval1 was of as smooth surface as that of a woman1 and of the shape and pale even colour of an egg4 ,the enormous forehead1 the eyes1 small and narrow1 set wide apart and obliquely1 the flattened nose1 the straight1 wide1 almost lipless mouth1 combined with an expression of crafty complacence to give the man a singularly alien semblance4 ,as he stood1 he smiled slowly1 a smile which emphasized both the craftiness and the complacency of his expression1 and remarked in a high1 thin voice3-- 8,just going1 ,doctor8 ,make yourself at home here1 that's all right40 ,he carried a rather large1 morocco-bound note-book in one hand1 and a silver pencil-case in the other4 ,his hands were extremely delicate and white1 with sinuous1 flexible fingers1 of such phenomenal length as to suggest an extra1 simian joint4 ,they conveyed to the young clergyman a sense of expressing the same craft as the face1 and a yet more palpable cruelty4 ,the unpleasant impression became more pronounced1 for1 seeing the hands1 young ,nichols involuntarily shivered4 ,probably this fact was not noticed by the newcomer1 but1 having thus spoken and smiling one more chilling smile1 he passed on to the other end of the hall4 ,eyes rather than voice asked in astonishment1 8,who is that80 8,oliver ,ingraham1 the senator's son10 was the elder clergyman's reply1 as they left the library together1 8the son of his first wife40 ,dr4 ,harvey was ,mrs4 ,ingraham's pastor4 8,incredible60 cried the other1 under his breath4 8,i never saw him1 never heard of his existence40 ,the other shook his head with gravely troubled look4 8,he is only here when it becomes impossible to keep him elsewhere40 8,is he insane8 imbecile8 what is he80 8,not the first1 not the second4 ,i cannot answer the third question40 ,,chapter ,x ,she sitteth in a silence of her own2 ,behind her1 on the ground1 a red rose lies2 ,her thinking brow is bent1 nor doth arise ,her gaze from that shut book whose word unknown ,her firm hands hide from her2 there all alone ,she sitteth in thought trouble1 maidenwise4 --,r4 ,w4 ,,gilder4 ,an ,october morning1 and breakfast-time in the ,ingraham household4 ,great doors stood open into the dining room1 where the vast round table could be seen with its glittering array of silver1 and the grace and colour of exquisite flowers4 ,a slender girl1 as graceful and charming in her simple morning dress as the flowers she had just placed on the table1 stood in the doorway1 waiting1 a shade of impatience on her face4 ,behind her1 at one of the dining-room windows1 stood ,oliver ,ingraham1 her half-brother4 ,mrs4 ,ingraham1 with her other daughters1 one older1 one younger1 were in the adjoining library4 ,outside1 in the hall1 a man paced up and down with impatience which he did not attempt to conceal4 ,this was ,mr4 ,ingraham himself1 a man of good height1 fine1 erect figure1 and youthful energy of motion and bearing4 ,his hair was grey1 as also his heavy mustache and imperial2 his eyes grey also1 keen1 clear1 but inclined to wander with disconcerting swiftness2 he had a high1 beaklike nose1 and a fine1 carefully kept skin1 in which a network of dark red veins betrayed the high liver4 ,he was at once peremptory and gracious1 military and courtly1 a man of the world and of affairs on a large scale4 ,with watch in hand he entered the library and approached his wife4 8,cornelia10 he said1 smiling with good-tempered sarcasm1 8does it strike you that the show is a little late in opening8 ,i dislike to mention it1 but it is already ten minutes past eight4 ,i am not familiar with the social customs of ,abyssinia1 nor even of ,macedonia1 but in the ,united ,states it is considered good form for guests1 albeit lions1 to come to breakfast on time4 ,even the ,hyrcan tiger1 ,i understand1 is usually prompt in his attendance on that function--0 8,papa60 cried his youngest daughter1 ,louise1 8you are perfectly dreadful40 ,mrs4 ,ingraham looked up into her husband's face with her mild1 conciliating smile4 8,i am so sorry1 ,justin10 she said softly1 8but ,i suppose the poor dear creatures are very tired after the meeting last night1 and their journey1 and all--0 ,there was a slight noise on the stairs as she spoke1 and ,mr4 ,ingraham faced about with military precision to receive in succession a number of ladies1 who filed into the room1 and were warmly greeted and promptly presented to him by his wife4 ,two were visitors from ,new ,york1 substantial 8,board women02 other two1 returned missionaries from ,japan2 the last to enter was a shy1 brown little person with soft dark eyes1 a native ,hindu1 who could only communicate with her host by a gentle1 pleading smile4 ,all were in attendance on a great missionary conference held in ,burlington that week1 drawing its supporters from all ,new ,england and ,new ,york4 8,shall we go to breakfast1 ,cornelia80 ,mr4 ,ingraham asked1 having infused sudden courage into the trembling breast of the little native by his gallant attention4 8,are we all here80 8,why1 no1 papa10 interposed his youngest daughter2 8we must wait for ,mr4 ,burgess40 8,mr4 ,burgess80 repeated her father1 in a musing tone4 8,i do not recall that ,i have met him4 ,is the gentleman an invalid80 8,at least the gentleman is here1 papa10 murmured ,louise1 directing his attention to a young man who at the moment entered the room1 and approached ,mrs4 ,ingraham with a few words of courteous apology4 ,meeting him1 ,mr4 ,ingraham saw a slender1 youthful figure1 somewhat below the average of masculine height1 a man of delicate physique1 perhaps five and twenty years old1 with a serious1 sensitive face1 and earnest blue eyes looking out through glasses2 a young man who presented himself with quiet self-possession1 and bore the unmistakable marks of good breeding4 ,as they took their places around the breakfast table1 ,keith ,burgess1 for this was the young man's name1 found himself seated opposite ,oliver1 with whom he was not drawn to converse1 and between the second ,miss ,ingraham and the little ,aroona-bia4 ,conversation with the latter being necessarily of an extremely limited nature1 her gentle lisping of 8yes0 and 8thank you0 being somewhat indiscriminate1 the guest found himself shortly occupied exclusively with his very pretty neighbour4 8,you know1 ,mr4 ,burgess10 she was presently saying1 8,i almost feel that ,i know you already40 8,how so80 asked ,keith1 simply4 ,it was plain that1 although accustomed to the refinements of life1 this was not a man accomplished in social subtleties4 ,there was1 in fact1 a curiously unworldly expression in the young fellow's eyes1 and somewhat of thoughtful introspection4 8,why1 you see mamma and some of her friends who heard you speak last spring have told us so much about you40 ,keith bowed slightly1 without reply4 8,and you can't think1 ,mr4 ,burgess1 how delighted we are to have you come to ,burlington4 ,we were so afraid you would leave for the ,east before we could hear you1 and ,i assure you that would have been a great disappointment4 ,i think you sail in the spring1 do you not80 8,yes1 in ,may1 as soon as ,i graduate40 8,and it is for ,india80 8,i suppose so4 ,it is not fully determined1 but that would be my choice1 and ,i believe the ,board incline that way40 ,the pretty ,miss ,ingraham1 whose name was ,gertrude1 sighed a very little4 8,it is all so wonderful1 so almost incredible1 to me that any one young and like other people1 don't you know8 can really go10 she said gently4 8,there are people to whom it seems perfectly natural4 ,mamma has a new protge who is to go out as a missionary teacher a year from this fall4 ,she is very young1 only twenty-one1 and we all think she is lovely2 but still1 for her it seems really the only thing to be expected4 ,she has the genuine missionary air already1 and you would know she could not be anything else1 somehow40 ,keith looked civilly1 but not keenly1 interested4 8,i wonder if it is any one ,i have heard of10 he remarked4 8,it is our ,board that sends her80 8,yes4 ,her name is ,mallison1 ,anna ,mallison4 ,her father was a country minister up in the mountainous part of the state4 ,poor thing6 ,she will find ,india quite a change after ,vermont winters1 ,i should think40 8,an improvement1 perhaps10 said ,keith1 smiling4 8,but really1 ,miss ,ingraham1 going back to what you said a moment ago1 why should it seem so incredible for a man who has devoted himself to the service of ,god1 truly and unreservedly1 to be willing to go where what little he can do is most needed8 ,many men go to foreign countries and remain the better part of their lives for business purposes3 men in the navy2 ,englishmen1 of course1 of social and political ambitions1 by hundreds4 ,do you ever feel that there is anything extraordinary or superhuman in what they do80 ,gertrude ,ingraham was looking at the young man with almost devout attention4 8,no10 she answered1 shaking her head with pretty humility1 seeing which way he led4 8,then why10 pursued ,keith ,burgess1 leaning over to look steadily in her face with his earnest eyes1 and lowering his voice to a deeper emphasis1 8why do you wonder that now and then a man should be willing to do for the ,lord ,jesus ,christ and the salvation of souls what a hundred men do as a matter of course for their own selfish ambition and the gaining of money80 ,the girl looked down1 the brightness of her face softened by serious feeling4 8,the only wonder1 ,miss ,ingraham1 is that so few do it4 ,for my own part ,i do not see how a fellow who goes into the ministry1 as things are now1 can do anything else10 and ,keith turned back to his neglected breakfast4 ,thereafter he was drawn into conversation1 across the mute languor of the little ,hindu1 with his host1 who had questions to ask regarding ,fulham1 which had been his college4 ,at four o'clock that afternoon1 ,keith ,burgess1 sitting in a large congregation in ,dr4 ,harvey's stately church1 listening with consciously declining interest to a long statistical report which was being read from the pulpit1 felt himself touched on the shoulder4 ,looking up he saw the ,rev4 ,frank ,nichols1 pastor of a mission church in the city4 ,he had known him well in college1 a clear-eyed1 well set-up young cleric4 ,nichols invited him by a word and look to follow him1 and together they quietly left the assembly4 ,when they had reached the street and the crisp autumn air1 ,keith shook himself with a motion of relief4 8,is there anything more tiresome than such a succession of meetings80 he exclaimed4 8,shall we walk8 ,i am in a hurry to climb one of these hills40 8,we must do it later10 returned ,nichols2 8but if you are not too tired ,i want to take you down this street and on a block or two to my church4 ,the women are having a meeting there this afternoon40 8,oh1 yes1 ,i remember2 but will it be in order for us to intrude80 8,yes1 that will be all right4 ,the brethren drop in quietly now and then1 and are welcome4 ,you needn't stay long1 for you are tired1 ,i know by your face2 but ,i tell you what it is1 ,burgess1 ,i want you to hear ,anna ,mallison40 ,anna ,mallison6 again that name which he had heard in the morning4 ,it began to have a strangely musical quality to ,keith's ears4 8,i have heard her name4 ,she is under appointment1 ,i believe4 ,a good speaker80 8,no1 not a particularly good speaker1 but1 as ,dr4 ,harvey once said to me1 an absolutely true nature4 ,she is a young woman of strong personality1 but singularly destitute of the desire to impress herself1 and with a certain touch of the unconsciously heroic about her which you feel but cannot describe4 ,i have never met a girl of precisely her type before1 myself1 and ,i am curious to know what you will think of her40 ,entering the small1 unpretentious church1 ,nichols and his friend sat down in the first row of seats1 next to the central aisle4 ,the room was nearly full2 several women were upon the platform1 from which the pulpit had been removed4 ,one woman was speaking in a high-keyed1 plaintive voice4 ,it was not a stable or quiet audience2 some were leaving their seats1 others coming in1 many turning their heads to catch glimpses of expected friends4 ,behind the young men came in two girls who remained standing close beside them in the aisle for a little space4 ,one of these girls had pretty1 fair hair and peachy cheeks2 she was dressed in deep blue with touches of gilt cord and buttons1 giving a kind of coquettish military jauntiness to her appearance4 ,she wore a small round hat1 of dark blue1 which set off her pretty hair charmingly4 ,her manner was full of quick1 eager animation2 she smiled much and whispered to her companion continually4 ,this companion stood motionless and unresponsive to the frequent appeals made to her1 a quiet face and figure1 a dress and bonnet of plain and unadorned black1 ill suited to her youth2 but it was her face and figure rather than the other to which ,keith ,burgess found his attention riveted4 ,he knew intuitively1 before ,nichols told him1 that this was ,anna ,mallison2 but without this knowledge he felt that he must still have kept his eyes upon her face4 ,the repose of it1 the purity and elevation of the look1 the serene1 serious sweetness1 were what he had seen in the faces of angels men have dreamed of rather than of women they have loved4 ,but that she was after all a woman1 with a woman's sensitiveness and impressibility1 he fancied was manifest when1 having perhaps felt his look resting thus intently on her face1 ,anna turned and their eyes met in an instant's direct1 uninterrupted gaze1 whereupon a deep flush rose and spread over the clear brown pallor of her face1 and she turned1 and bent to speak to her friend1 as if to cover a slight confusion4 ,the friend was ,mally ,loveland1 and she was finding her position a particularly satisfactory one at the moment1 being aware that ,mr4 ,nichols was so placed as to take in the best points of her new fall costume in a side view4 ,it was for him1 not for ,anna1 that she had been using so much of nervous energy in the last few minutes4 ,a lady who had left the platform for the purpose now came down the aisle1 and1 taking ,anna ,mallison by the hand with a word of welcome1 conducted her to the front of the church4 ,mally1 thus left alone1 fluttered into a place made for her1 seeming to discover ,mr4 ,nichols as she turned1 and smiling surprise and pleasure upon him4 ,just before ,anna began to address the gathering1 while a hymn was sung1 ,keith ,burgess quietly made his way to a seat near the front of the church1 at the side of the platform4 ,he had excused himself to ,nichols1 who had then asked and obtained permission to sit beside ,mally1 an incident productive of a vast amount of conscious and fluttering delight on the part of that young lady4 ,the austerity of ,anna ,mallison's religious life had1 under the influence of ,mrs4 ,westervelt and her disciple1 ,mrs4 ,ingraham1 relaxed within a few months to a marked degree4 ,new conceptions of a relation of joyful assurance1 of conscious acceptance with ,god1 had risen within her1 with the perception that religion was not exclusively prohibition1 and conscience its only energy4 ,something of warmth and brightness had been infused into her chill1 colourless1 outward life1 furthermore1 by the intercourse with the ,ingrahams which had followed her first visit4 ,she was still in a manner ice-bound in her interior life and in her capacity for expression1 but the ice was beginning to yield and here and there to break up a little4 ,thus1 in the manner with which she spoke on this occasion1 there was something of gentleness1 and a less uncompromising self-restraint than when she had first spoken before an audience4 ,she was still noticeably reserved1 still innocent of the orator's arts1 or of conscious seeking to produce an effect2 she still delivered herself of her simple message as if it were a duty to be discharged rather than an opportunity to be grasped4 ,but through the coldness of all this neutrality there pierced now and then a ray of the radiant purity and loftiness of the girl's inner nature1 and this time those who heard her did not pity or patronize her in their thoughts4 ,keith ,burgess watched her from the place he had chosen4 ,her tall1 meagre figure in its nunlike dress was sharply outlined against a palely tinted window opposite1 through which the ,october sun shone4 ,she stood without support of table or desk1 her hands falling straight at her sides1 and looked directly at the people she addressed1 fearless1 since burdened with the sense of immortal destinies1 not with a consciousness of herself4 ,keith noted the hand which fell against the straight black folds of her dress2 its fine shape and delicate texture alone expressed her ladyhood4 ,she could not have been called pretty1 but her face thus seen in profile was almost beautiful1 the hollowness of the cheeks and the stringent thinness of all the contours being less obvious4 ,but ,keith ,burgess was not occupied with ,anna's face and figure to any serious degree4 ,he knew instinctively that she was of good birth and breeding2 he saw that1 though severe and angular in person and manner1 she was womanly1 noble1 refined4 ,he divined1 as no one could have failed to divine1 the essential truth and purity of her nature4 ,from her simple1 unfeigned utterance he perceived the high earnestness and consecration with which she was entering upon missionary labour4 ,perceiving all those things1 the young man looked and listened with a sudden1 momentous question taking swift shape in his mind4 ,he remained until the close of the meeting and met ,anna1 introducing himself1 as he preferred doing4 ,she received his few expressions of satisfaction in hearing her with scant response1 and apparently with neither surprise or gratification4 ,he did not like her the less for that4 ,the ,ingrahams found ,keith sober and preoccupied at dinner that night1 but1 as he was to be chief speaker at the evening session of the convention1 they thought this natural and in order4 ,he was liked and was treated with especial consideration by them all1 and even ,mr4 ,ingraham did him the honour of going to the church to hear him speak4 ,he had no sympathy with his wife's penchant for missions1 but he thought ,burgess was 8a nice little fellow10 and he wanted to see what kind of a speech he could make4 ,the different members of the family and their guests came home one after another late in the evening1 and1 as they met1 exchanged enthusiastic expressions concerning the eloquence of ,keith ,burgess4 ,mrs4 ,ingraham and the ,board ladies thought the dear young man had a wonderful gift2 ,aroona-bia smiled tenderly in assent2 the girls said he was simply perfect2 and ,mr4 ,ingraham admitted that1 when he had worked off some of his 8sophomoric effervescence10 he might make a good deal of an orator1 and added1 under his breath1 it was nothing less than a crime to send a delicate1 talented boy like that to make food for those barbarians1 whose souls weren't worth the sacrifice1 even if he could save them1 which he couldn't4 8,very true1 dear10 rejoined his wife2 8no man can save another's soul2 he can only lead him to the dear ,lord's feet40 ,the senator bit short a sharp reply1 and just then ,keith himself appeared1 looking pale and exhausted1 deprecating wearily the praise they were eager to bestow upon him1 and begging to be excused if he withdrew at once to his room4 ,as the sound of his footsteps was lost in the hall above1 ,mrs4 ,ingraham said3-- 8,i am sorry ,mr4 ,burgess was so tired4 ,i invited ,anna ,mallison to come here for the night1 and ,i wanted him to meet her4 ,mrs4 ,churchill has asked the opportunity for a little talk with ,anna in the morning1 and it will be convenient for her to be here4 ,it is so far to her rooms1 you know40 8,i should think the house was full already1 mamma10 remarked ,gertrude ,ingraham4 8,where can we put her80 8,oh1 she will not mind going up to the south room in the third story1 my dear4 ,i told ,jane to have it in order40 ,just then ,miss ,ingraham came into the house and ,anna ,mallison was with her4 ,,chapter ,,xi ,the ,moving ,finger writes2 and having writ1 ,moves on3 nor all your ,piety nor ,wit ,shall lure it back to cancel half a ,line1 ,nor all your ,tears wash out a ,word of it4 --,,the ,,rubaiyat4 ,in a few moments after he had reached his room ,keith ,burgess heard a knock at his door4 ,opening it1 he found a neat1 white-capped maid who bore a tray2 entering demurely1 she placed it upon a small table1 remarking that ,mrs4 ,ingraham thought he would need refreshment4 ,the tray held an exquisite china service for one person1 a pot of chocolate1 and delicate rolls and cakes4 8,miss ,gertrude said ,i was to light your fire10 the maid said1 proceeding to remove the fender and strike a match for the purpose4 8,very well10 replied ,keith1 walking to the other side of the room4 ,the night air was sharp1 and he liked the notion4 ,a moment later the maid withdrew1 with the noiseless1 unobtrusive step and movement of the well-trained servant1 and ,keith1 when he turned1 found the room already enlivened by the firelight4 ,the table was drawn to a cosey corner on the hearth-rug1 a deep cushioned easy-chair beside it4 ,the fragrant steam of the hot chocolate rose invitingly1 and as ,keith threw himself with a long sigh of comfort into the chair1 he detected another fragrance1 and perceived1 lying upon the plate1 a single rose1 and around the stem a slip of white paper4 ,on the paper1 ,keith found a few words written3 8,you must let me thank you for the great uplift you have given me to-night4 ,,gertrude ,,ingraham40 ,the young man1 rising1 put the flower in a clean glass vase on his mantle1 and the note in the inner compartment of his writing-case1 touching both with careful gentleness4 ,then1 returning to the fireside1 he fell to drinking and eating with cordial satisfaction in all this creature comfort2 but as he ate and drank and grew warm1 he was thinking steadily4 ,he was not minded to flatter himself unduly1 but what was he justified in inferring from ,gertrude's action and from other small signs which he had seen8 ,simply1 that she liked him2 honoured him above his due2 probably idealized him2 possibly1 if he sought her deeper regard1 might respond4 ,he liked her thoroughly4 ,what man would not8 ,she was very pretty1 and her beauty was enhanced by faultless dress1--no small thing in itself4 ,her manners were charming1 with the charm of a sweet nature1 aided by the polish of high social intercourse2 she had the thousand little nameless1 flattering graces of the woman1 who1 old or young1 instinctively knows how to put a man at his best4 ,furthermore1 ,keith was not insensible to the background against which this girl was set4 ,the aristocratic1 powerful family connection1 the magnificent home1 the wealth and grace and ease of life1 the fine manners and habits of thought and conduct belonging to the ,ingrahams1 were not matters of naught to him4 ,he liked all these things4 ,what was more1 he knew perfectly that there was no element of temptation in them to lead him from his chosen path of altruism2 ,mrs4 ,ingraham's well-known missionary ardour and ,gertrude's delicate sympathy were guarantee for that4 ,they understood perfectly that within six months he would depart for an exile of perhaps a lifetime1 in an alien and uncongenial land1 where he would work under conditions of life repulsive and depressing to the last degree4 ,nevertheless1 he believed without vanity that ,gertrude ,ingraham1 knowing all1 foreseeing all1 could care for him4 ,keith ,burgess had come1 suddenly perhaps1 but definitely1 to the conclusion that he wanted a wife2 and1 furthermore1 that he wanted a wife who would go out with him to ,india six months hence4 ,consequently1 as he sat by the fire which ,gertrude ,ingraham had lighted for him1 he pursued this line of thought with significant persistence4 ,a curious condition1 however1 attended his reflections4 ,while he sat by ,gertrude's fire1 tasted her dainty food1 inhaled the fragrance of the rose she had sent him1 and thought of her in all her beauty and grace1 he did not see her4 ,instead of her figure1 there stood constantly before the eye of his mind the tall1 austere form of ,anna ,mallison1 in the unsoftened simplicity of her manner and apparel1 and in her passionless1 unresponding repose4 ,he thought of ,gertrude ,ingraham1 but he saw ,anna ,mallison4 ,she had travelled the way that he had come4 ,outwardly there might be coldness between them1 but inwardly there must be the profoundest basis of sympathy4 ,the same master conviction had won and held their two souls4 ,he could not have known her better1 it seemed to him1 had he known her all his life4 ,the things which would have repelled another man were what drew him all the more to her4 ,it was not the passion of love which had so suddenly awakened within him1 but a mighty longing for what ,keith ,burgess had thus far gone through life without1--a true and satisfying sympathy with his religious life and its aspirations4 ,a girl like ,gertrude ,ingraham might accept his religion and the shape it took1 but it would be because she cared for him2 a girl like ,anna ,mallison might1 perhaps1 accept him1 but it would be because of his religion and the shape it had taken4 ,at this crisis of his life the enthusiasm for his calling ruled him as no human love could1 and by it all the issues of life must stand or fall4 ,hours passed4 ,the fire died out to a core of dull red embers1 the single rose drooped on its stem1 the tray of food stood despoiled and indifferent2 the words of the small white paper were forgotten1 and ,keith ,burgess1 throwing himself upon his knees1 prayed thus to ,god3-- 8,oh1 my ,lord1 if thou wilt grant me so great a good as to win her for my wife1 if thou wilt bless me in seeking her1 if it is according to thy will that our lives should be united1 and that together we should carry the cross of ,christ to the lost1 grant me1 ,o ,lord1 a sign4 ,but if it be not thy will1 make this1 too1 known to me4 ,thy will ,i seek1 ,o my ,god1 in this1 in all things40 ,then1 being wearied in brain and body1 he slept heavily until morning4 ,when1 just before the breakfast hour1 ,keith stepped into the hall1 he paused a moment1 hearing a step on the stairs above him leading from the third story rooms4 ,he advanced slowly to the head of the next staircase1 and not until he reached it did he see who it was descending from above4 ,then1 lifting his eyes1 he saw ,anna ,mallison4 ,her presence in this house1 at this hour1 so surprising1 so unlooked-for1 so almost unnatural1 since her home was elsewhere in the city--what did it mean8 ,it was the sign he had craved4 ,how else could he interpret it8 ,the blood rushed in sudden flow to his heart1 leaving his face colourless4 ,anna1 not being surprised to meet him thus1 was simply saying 8,good morning10 and passing down the stairs4 ,keith put out his hand and stopped her going4 ,so marvellous did her presence seem to him that he forthwith spoke out with unconventional directness the thought in his mind4 8,i think you do not know just what it means that you are here1 in this house1 this morning40 ,mally ,loveland would have flashed some pert rejoinder to a comment like this2 ,gertrude ,ingraham1 in a similar situation1 would have looked at ,keith ,burgess with pretty wonder and smiling question4 ,anna ,mallison1 seeing the pallor and emotion of his face1 and having become wonted to the supernatural interpretation of the small events of human life1 only said gravely and without obvious surprise3-- 8,i do not1 perhaps1 know all that it means4 ,i trust it means no trouble to any one--to you40 8,no10 he answered1 a slight tremor in his voice2 8,i cannot believe that it does4 ,you came under the divine leading1 no matter how or why you seemed to yourself to come4 ,you came as a sign4 ,i had asked a sign of ,god4 ,i did not dream of your presence in this house4 ,seeing you now1 so unexpectedly1 how can ,i doubt any further8 ,it is the will of ,god40 ,anna looked straight into ,keith's face1 a deep shadow of perplexity on her own1 but she did not speak4 ,he smiled slightly4 8,you cannot understand1 and no wonder1 ,i am speaking to you as ,i have no right to--in the dark4 ,it is for you to say whether1 by and by1 before ,i go to-morrow morning1 ,i may explain my meaning and try to make clear to you what is so clear to me40 ,it was ,anna now who grew perturbed1 for the significance of his words1 although veiled1 was manifest4 ,she turned and descended the stairs without speaking1 ,keith ,burgess following her in silence4 ,she did not herself understand her own sharp recoil and dismay1 but all the maiden instinct of defence was in alarm within her4 ,at the foot of the stairs they both paused for an instant1 and ,keith asked in a low voice3-- 8,will you walk with me on these hills somewhere1 alone1 this afternoon at four o'clock80 ,a sudden great sense of revolt arose in the girl's heart1 and broke in a faint sob upon her lips4 ,she did not want to walk on the hills with him--with any man4 ,she did not want to hear what he had to say4 ,but he had said it was the will of ,god1 their thus meeting4 ,he had sought that awful1 irrefragable will1 and she had acted1 it seemed1 in obedience to it in coming to this house4 ,what was she1 to be found fighting against ,god8 ,she felt herself constrained to say yes4 ,,chapter ,,xii 444 ,i made answer to my friend3 8,of a surety ,i have now set my feet on that point of life beyond the which he must not pass who would return40 --,the ,new ,life1 ,,dante4 8,i ask you1 ,anna ,mallison1 to go out with me to my work in ,india in ,may1 as my wife40 ,thus ,keith ,burgess1 having recounted the story of the lights and leadings of the past twenty-four hours4 ,they were standing1 and faced one another in a yellow beech wood where the sky above their heads was shut out by the sun-lightened paving of the clustering leaves4 ,as she came down the woodland path ,anna had broken off a long stem of goldenrod1 and she held it hung like an inverted torch at her side1 like a sad vestal virgin at some ancient funeral rites4 8,forgive me for bringing this to you so swiftly4 ,i know it seems hasty1 perhaps unreasonably so4 ,but to me no time or acquaintance1 however extended1 could change my wish4 ,and1 you see1 my time is so very short1 now60 ,keith ,burgess looked with his whole soul's sincerity into ,anna's face1 and the integrity of his purpose1 of his whole nature1 could not be mistaken4 8,it is not the suddenness1 ,i think10 she replied slowly1 with unconscious coldness2 8like you1 ,i feel that the great facts of ,god's will and providence may be made clear to us instantly40 ,then she hesitated and paused4 8,please go on10 the young man said gently4 8,it is only10 she answered1 with a pathos which a woman would have understood1 8that ,i did not want to be married at all4 ,i had never thought of it as being a thing ,i needed to be troubled about40 ,keith ,burgess smiled faintly at her frankness1 which was not cruel of intention1 he knew1 but his smile touched ,anna's heart4 8,i did not wish to trouble you10 he said quietly4 8,please do not misunderstand me4 ,it was not the way to express it--my words sounded unkind1 ,i am afraid4 ,i should learn better ways of gentler speaking4 ,other women seem to have them naturally40 8,i like it that you are honest1 even if it hurts10 said ,keith1 steadily4 8,i did not mean that you trouble me--not exactly4 ,only that my life looked so plain and clear to me1 and this is so surprising--it seems to change things so40 8,only by a little outward difference4 ,i should not dare to ask you to go as my wife if ,i did not believe that you could work more effectively so1 perhaps10 he added timidly1 8even more happily1 if ,i had strength and protection to give you1 and a home of some sort1 however poor1 in that strange land40 ,something in the quality of his voice brought swift tears to ,anna's eyes4 ,it was so new to have some one thinking and caring for her ease and happiness4 ,it had so long been her part to do this for others1 to forget herself1 and take it quite for granted that others should forget her4 ,he saw his advantage1 and sought to follow it4 8,the thought of marriage is unwelcome to you10 he said earnestly1 8because it is foreign and unfamiliar4 ,i think you are very different from most girls of your age1 and have lived a different inward life1 higher and purer1 and free from personal aims in a wonderful way4 ,but even so1 regarding marriage ,i believe you are wrong4 ,you think of it as an interruption1 almost as a decline from the life you had meant to live4 ,on the contrary1 ,god has made it to be the very best life1 the normal and fulfilled life1 in which each is at the strongest and best4 ,where my work for ,god and men might fall utterly to the ground1 you1 by your purer insight1 might help me to make it availing2 and perhaps the poor service ,i could give might help a little to carry forward your work40 ,anna lifted her hand in a slight1 expressive gesture4 8,look at the whole thing a moment10 cried ,keith1 with sudden boldness1 8as if you were not you and ,i not ,i4 ,here are two persons1 man and woman1 of the same age within two or three years1 led of the same ,spirit to the same purpose and consecration and calling2 both ready to go out to the same unknown land1 lonely and apart1 and there to work as best they may far from any human being they have ever seen or known4 ,such were we4 ,and now ,god1 looking upon us1 sees that each needs the other1 and in his good providence he leads us here to this place4 ,i see you1 and instantly my heart goes out to you as the companion1 the other self1 ,i need4 ,my soul recognizes in you its counterpart4 ,god1 in answer to my prayer that he will make known his will1 suddenly1 most unexpectedly1 as ,i start on the new day1 brings you before me before ,i have spoken or met with man or woman1 as the first1 best light of morning4 ,what does ,god mean8 ,ask yourself1 ,anna ,mallison1 ask him4 ,for my own part1 ,i cannot doubt his will4 ,i have no right to thrust my conviction upon you forcibly1 but to me this is as clearly the call of ,god as my call to the foreign field or to the divine service40 ,they were still standing face to face1 and while ,keith spoke ,anna looked into his eyes with the serious directness of one listening to an argument of weighty but impersonal import4 ,with all his conviction and earnestness1 he was as passionless as she1 save for his religious passion4 ,a strange wooing6 ,anna turned now and walked on along the mossy path in silence4 8,take time to consider1--all the time you need4 ,do not try to decide now10 said ,keith1 walking at her side4 ,she made no reply2 in fact1 she did not realize that he spoke4 ,her mind was working in intense concentration4 ,keith ,burgess alone she would have turned away without a moment's doubt1 but he had1 or seemed to have1 a mighty ,ally4 ,she did not fear him in rejecting nor desire him in accepting1 but to reject ,god6--that she feared2 to accept ,god in every manifestation of his will was her deepest desire4 ,but what if ,keith were wrong in his conviction8 ,her pale face flushed with a flame of indignation as she thought of it1 that a man1 whom she had never met or known1 sought or desired1 could suddenly invade the very citadel of her will1 and summon her to surrender her very life into his keeping1 in the great ,name1 when1 perhaps1 he was self-deceived1 was coming in his own name1 to do his own will4 ,she looked aside at ,keith's face as he walked by her1 in sudden distrust4 ,it wore no flush of passion1 and in the blue eyes was the light less of earthly love than of heavenly4 ,it was a look pure and high1 such as a man might fitly wear as he approached the sacrament4 ,a sudden awe fell upon ,anna1 as if she were looking upon one who had talked with ,god1 and her eyes fell1 the lashes weighted with heavy1 unshed tears4 8,he is better than ,i10 she thought2 8a man like this could not lead me wrong40 ,white and cold1 and with a strange sinking at her heart1 she turned to him soon1 and stopped where she stood4 ,he looked into her face1 his own suffused with emotion4 ,she held out both her hands1 the goldenrod1 which she had held until now1 falling to the ground4 ,keith ,burgess took them in both his1 and ,anna felt that his hands trembled far more than did her own4 8,i believe you were right10 she said simply4 8,it is the will of ,god40 ,he kissed her then on her brow and on her lips1 the salutation disturbing her no more than if he had been her brother4 8,please1 will you let me go home now1 alone1 ,mr4 ,burgess80 she asked humbly1 like a child4 ,keith was disappointed1 but consented at once4 8,only10 he said1 8you should not call me ,mr4 ,burgess4 ,my name for you is ,keith40 8,not yet10 she answered4 8,in outward things and ways remember1 please1 that we are perfect strangers4 ,it is only in the spirit that we have met40 ,then she left him1 and ,keith ,burgess stood watching the tall1 dark figure swiftly receding down the wood walk in the yellow light4 ,his look was wistful4 ,he longed to go after her1 but he forebore4 ,anna hastened down into the city streets and to the hospital where she was on duty every afternoon4 ,there was plenty of work awaiting her1 and not for a moment was she free or left alone to think her own thoughts4 ,six o'clock found her back in her own rooms at ,mrs4 ,wilson's4 ,they were low and dull after the fine spaciousness of the ,ingraham house1 but that was a matter of little note to ,anna4 ,mally was there with a friend whom she had brought home with her to tea4 ,anna washed the dishes while these two diligently revised the trimming of their hats which in some particular1 wholly imperceptible to ,anna's untrained eye1 fell below the standard of latest fashion4 ,it was not until the girls left the house1 at seven o'clock1 and all her duties1 trivial and homely and wearying1 were done1 that ,anna1 alone at last1 could yield to the overpowering weariness which was upon her4 ,she carried the lamp1 whose flame seemed to pierce her aching eyes1 into the next room1 and then1 lying on the hard haircloth sofa with her head propped on one hand1 she closed her eyes1 thankful at last to be where she could let a few tears fall with no one to wonder or question4 ,the quiet patience inbred in the constitution of the girl's nature controlled her mood2 there was no struggle of revolt from the vow she had taken and the future to which she had pledged herself1 but an unspeakable homesickness had taken possession of her4 ,she liked and reverenced ,keith ,burgess1 no doubt she would love him very truly by and by1 but just now he seemed to have turned her out of her own life and to have taken control where she had hitherto1 with ,god1 been supreme4 ,it all gave her the same feeling she had suffered when1 after her father's death1 they had been obliged to give up their home for the coming in of a new leader for the little flock her father had led so long4 ,she knew there was no real analogy between the two experiences1 she could reason clearly against herself1 but she could not control the piteous heart-sickness which settled down upon her in the dim room1 in the silent1 empty house4 ,many women have suffered a reaction like this in the hour of committing themselves1 from the fear that this is not the supreme love1 the love of the lifetime2 the misgiving lest this man is not1 after all1 the man for whom they can forsake all others and unto whom they can cleave with a perfect heart to the end4 ,these were not1 however1 the considerations which weighed upon ,anna ,mallison4 ,it was1 as she had herself expressed it1 very simply1 that she had not thought about marriage at all4 ,she had no ideal of manhood in her mind from this point of view4 ,it was not that she craved the love of a stronger man or a man abler or better in any way than ,keith ,burgess2 she merely preferred no man4 ,she had not awakened to love2 the deeper forces of her woman's nature were sleeping still4 ,but there was not for an instant1 in ,anna's mind1 the thought of withdrawing from her plighted word to ,keith4 ,she believed that he had come to her1 as he believed1 under the divine light and leading4 ,she turned to walk in the new path marked out for her1 faithfully and obediently1 but pausing a moment to look with aching eyes and heart down the dear1 familiar path which she was leaving4 ,but ,anna was too tired to think long1 or even to feel1 and so fell asleep shortly1 in the stiff1 angular position in which she lay1 the tears undried upon her cheeks4 ,the sound of the knocker on the house door1 hard1 metallic1 but without resonance1 suddenly roused her1 and she sprang up hastily1 remembering that ,mrs4 ,wilson had gone to the great missionary meeting1 and that she was alone in the house4 ,she took her lamp and went down the narrow stairs into the bit of entry4 ,when she opened the door1 ,keith ,burgess himself was standing there4 ,he looked at her1 smiling half mischievously1 and she felt a sudden warmth at her heart as she met the sweet1 true look of his eyes4 8,didn't you ever expect to see me again80 he said1 and laughed as he stepped into the house and closed the door4 ,she smiled1 too1 and held out her hand4 ,he took it and kissed it in a gallant way1 which she found wholly wonderful1 being quite unused to such feats1 and unread in romances4 8,it will be a bore1 won't it10 he went on quaintly1 8this having a man around to bother you8 ,perhaps ,i ought not to have come1 but1 you see1 ,i go in the morning1 and ,i thought you might have something to say to me before ,i left40 8,yes10 ,anna said2 adding navely1 8but where shall ,i take you8 ,it is so new4 ,i have not had a call like this before40 ,she felt shy about inviting him up to her own sitting room4 8,in there80 he queried1 pointing to the door of ,mrs4 ,wilson's drear little closed parlour4 8,oh1 no10 replied ,anna1 8,mrs4 ,wilson never lets us go in there4 ,it is too fine for anything but funerals and--0 she was about to say weddings1 but broke off confused1 and they both laughed1 looking at each other like two children with their innocent eyes4 8,i can sit here10 said ,keith1 pointing1 as he spoke1 to the steep1 narrow stairs4 ,there was a red and green striped carpet on them1 and a strip of grey linen over for protection4 ,the little entry was bare of furniture1 save for the small uncovered table on which ,anna had placed her lamp4 8,very well10 she said1 8,i will borrow a chair from ,mrs4 ,wilson's kitchen20 and she forthwith brought out a clean wooden chair painted a light yellow1 and placed it at the side of the stairway for herself1 there being no room at the foot4 8,i was going to say10 remarked ,keith1 musingly1 as ,anna sat down1 8that these stairs are rather wide1 and if ,mrs4 ,wilson is particular about lending her chairs1 ,i could make room for you here10 and he looked at her soberly between the stair-rails4 ,anna shook her head1 but suddenly there came over them both a sense of the ludicrousness of the little scene they would have presented1 had any one been able to look in upon them1 and they laughed again1 as ,anna had not laughed since she was a child1 something of exhaustion aiding to break down her wonted restraint4 8,it is so funny1 oh1 it is so funny60 she cried1 8to see you looking out between those bars as if you were a lion in a cage4 ,just think of the people at the meeting6 ,what if they were to see us two4 ,wouldn't they think it was dreadful80 8,would you mind putting your hand into the cage80 asked ,keith4 8,i assure you it is perfectly safe4 ,this is not the man-eating variety40 8,you are sure80 ,anna asked1 with a woman's instinctive coquetry swiftly developed1 but giving her hand4 8,it is such a beautiful hand10 he said1 laying it very gently on his own right hand1 which he had placed on the stair beside him1 and at this1 the first word of flattery which any man had ever spoken to her face1 ,anna blushed and grew positively pretty1 as he looked at her4 ,all this laughing and light nonsense between them1 did for her what a season of prayer and serious discussion of their situation could not have accomplished4 ,anna felt1 with a sudden sense of comfort and release1 that this new relation was not exclusively a solemn religious ordinance1 but a dear human companionship1 the joyousness of simple1 upright hearts1 and the sympathy of kindred minds4 ,,chapter ,,xiii ,now die the dream1 or come the wife1 ,the past is not in vain1 ,for wholly as it was your life ,can never be again1 ,my dear1 ,can never be again4 --,w4 ,e4 ,,henley4 ,at ,anna's earnest request1 ,keith ,burgess consented that their engagement should be announced to no one save his mother until spring4 ,mally observed the regularity of ,keith's weekly letters1 and attempted to tease ,anna into acknowledging that there was 8something in it02 but ,anna's dignity1 which on occasion had its effect even upon ,mally's vivacious self-confidence1 ended this line of attack in short order4 ,a few weeks after ,keith left ,burlington ,anna received the following note3-- ,,my ,,dear ,,miss ,,mallison3 ,my son1 ,keith ,burgess1 has confided in me the fact that you have consented to enter into an understanding with him which1 if ,providence should favour1 will doubtless eventually terminate in marriage4 ,your name has been mentioned to me by members of our ,woman's ,foreign ,missionary ,board1 and ,i am led to believe that my dear son has been graciously led of the ,lord in his choice of a companion in the path of duty upon which he has entered4 ,that my son is a godly young man and of an amiable disposition1 ,i need hardly take this occasion to tell you4 ,similarity of views and of religious experience would seem to furnish a satisfactory basis for a union productive of mutual good and the glory of ,god4 ,trusting for further acquaintance before you depart for foreign shores1 ,i am yours very truly1 ,,sarah ,,keith ,,burgess4 ,if this letter were stiff or cold1 ,anna1 not looking for warmth and freedom1 did not miss them4 ,she knew that ,keith was the only son of his mother1 and she a widow4 ,she took it for granted that they were poor like herself2 she had not known many people who were other than poor1 none who were in the ranks of missionary candidates4 ,such a thing would have seemed singularly incongruous because unfamiliar4 ,she had a distinct picture of ,mrs4 ,burgess1 whom she knew to be in delicate health1 as a woman of sweet1 saintly face and subdued manner1 living in a small white cottage in an obscure street of ,fulham1 perhaps not unlike the ,burlington street in which ,mrs4 ,wilson's house stood4 ,she fancied her living alone--indeed1 ,keith had told her that this was so--in a plain and humble fashion1 a quiet1 devoted1 ,christian life1 a type with which her experience both in ,haran and ,burlington church circles had made her familiar4 ,there were some geraniums in the little sitting room window1 she thought1 and it was a sunny room with braided mats over the carpet1 and a comfortable cat asleep on a patchwork cushion near the stove4 ,there would be a small stand beside ,mrs4 ,burgess's rocking-chair with a large ,bible and a volume or two of ,barnes's 8,notes10 a spectacle case and a box of cough medicine2 perhaps it was a bottle1 ,anna was not sure1 but she inclined to the hoarhound drops1 and almost smelt them when she thought of the room4 ,she imagined the dear old lady carefully and prayerfully inditing the epistle to herself1 and thought it most kind of her1 and wrote thus to ,keith4 ,the winter passed for ,anna in hard and unintermitting work4 ,mally allowed herself lighter labours1 and1 having raised her eyes with admiration to the ,rev4 ,frank ,nichols1 now shook herself free as far as she could conveniently from her more frivolous ,burlington friends1 and renewed her earlier interest in religion with extraordinary zeal4 ,she felt that ,dr4 ,harvey's church was too worldly for her ideals1 and that ,mr4 ,nichols's beautiful work among the humbler classes offered far more opportunity for religious devotion4 ,her regular attendance at all the meetings of the church was a great satisfaction to ,anna1 who looked on with characteristic blindness1 glad to see her friend returning to a more consistent walk and conversation4 ,the letters which passed between ,anna and ,keith would hardly have been called love-letters4 ,they dealt with religious experience and views of 8divine truth10 for the most part4 ,not even at start or finish of any letter was place found for the endearing trifling common to lovers4 ,this correspondence might all have been published1 omitting nothing--without dashes or asterisks1 even in that day when it was thought unseemly to reveal the innermost secrets of hearts1 and to speak upon the housetops that which had been whispered in the ear4 ,there were few personal allusions on the part of either1 beyond ,keith's occasional mention of his health being below the mark4 ,at ,christmas ,keith sent ,anna a volume of 8,sacred ,poetry02 on the fly-leaf he had written3-- ,,anna ,,mallison1 ,from her sincere friend and well-wisher1 ,,keith ,,burgess4 ,he had abstained from warmer terms on account of ,anna's wish to withhold the knowledge of their engagement for the present4 ,poor ,anna1 having nothing wherewith to provide a gift for her lover1 the small savings for her education being now nearly exhausted1 made shift to sew together sheets of note-paper1 on which she copied her favourite passages from ,paley and ,butler and various theologians4 ,this humble offering was sent to ,keith1 who was highly gratified1 and treasured the little gift affectionately4 ,for two weeks following ,christmas ,anna received no letter1 but she was not greatly surprised1 as she knew ,keith was to start early in ,january for a tour of various ,new ,england towns1 where he was expected to present the cause of ,foreign ,missions4 ,he was now completing his last year in the theological seminary near ,boston1 and his unusual gifts in public speech induced the faculty to send him out frequently on such missions4 ,at half-past eight of a zero morning in the second week of ,january1 ,anna1 with her threadbare black jacket buttoned tight to her throat1 her arm full of books1 was leaving ,mrs4 ,wilson's door on her way to school1 when she saw a boy stop in front of the house with a telegram in his hand4 ,taking it1 she found1 greatly amazed1 that it was for herself--the first telegram she had ever received4 ,the boy1 accustomed to see people receive his messages with changing colour and nervous hands1 glanced at her coolly1 then turned and went his way back1 plunging his hands into his pockets against the biting cold4 ,in the little entry ,anna opened the despatch4 ,it was dated ,portland1 ,maine1 and signed by ,keith ,burgess4 ,it told her that he was very ill2 that he was alone1 it being impossible for his mother to go to him4 ,it asked her to come to him at once4 ,anna's mind1 in the half-hour which followed1 worked with intense rapidity4 ,she found from a newspaper that by a ten o'clock train she could reach ,boston that evening1 and she decided to take that train1 and go on to ,portland by night4 ,she wrote a note to ,mally1 in which she told her of her engagement to ,keith and of what had occurred4 ,she packed a satchel with what was necessary1 and last of all drew out of her little square writing-desk1 where she kept it carefully locked away1 an envelope containing all the ready money she possessed4 ,she found that there remained exactly twelve dollars4 ,this1 to ,anna1 was a large amount of money1 and1 although her heart sank a little at the thought of spending so much at once1 the prospect for the weeks to come before she could draw upon her mother again being blank enough1 she knew that this was justified by the emergency4 ,soon after nine ,anna again departed from the house1 the books replaced by the satchel1 the worn and faded black gown and jacket unchanged1 starting alone and unsped upon her long and anxious journey4 ,she went first to the ,ingrahams1 walking the long mile in the sharp cold1 carrying her heavy bag with a benumbed hand1 since the reckless extravagance of a carriage might not for a moment be considered4 ,mrs4 ,ingraham was ill and could not see ,anna1 but her daughter ,gertrude came into the parlour and greeted her cordially4 ,the issues of the hour were too strong upon ,anna to permit any trace of embarrassment or personal feeling in her manner1 although she felt that it would have been easier to say what she felt must be said1 to ,mrs4 ,ingraham4 8,will you be so good as to tell your mother10 she began1 8that ,i could not go away on this journey1 which ,i must take1 without explaining it to her8 ,she has been so very kind4 ,we did not mean to announce it quite so soon1 but ,mr4 ,burgess1 whom ,i met here in the fall1 and ,i are engaged to be married40 ,anna was too preoccupied to perceive the flush which slowly and steadily rose in ,gertrude ,ingraham's face4 8,we expect to go out together in ,may10 ,anna proceeded4 8,mr4 ,burgess has not been strong for several months1 perhaps he is never very strong2 but this morning ,i have a telegram from him asking me to come to ,portland1 as he is very ill1 and his mother cannot be with him40 8,shall you go1 ,miss ,mallison80 asked ,gertrude1 with visible constraint4 ,anna looked at her then1 surprised1 and instantly felt the indefinable coldness of her reception of her little story4 8,i am on my way to take the ten o'clock train east10 she said simply1 her voice faltering slightly4 ,for all her courage and steadiness1 her heart was crying out for a little touch of another woman's gentleness2 the way before her was not easy1 and there was a sense of loneliness upon her which began to make itself acutely felt4 ,gertrude ,ingraham rose and said3-- 8,i am so very sorry for ,mr4 ,burgess4 ,we liked him very much4 ,you must let me go and speak to mamma a moment1 for ,i know she would wish to give you some message4 ,i will not keep you long40 ,and she hurried from the room4 ,anna sat alone and watched the minute-hand of a ,french clock on the mantel moving slowly along the gilded dial1 a heavy oppression on her spirit4 ,she had not consciously expected sympathy1 but ,gertrude's aloofness hurt her strangely4 ,some one came softly into the room behind her just then1 so softly that she turned rather because she felt a presence than because she heard a step4 ,it was ,oliver ,ingraham4 ,the peculiar personality of this mysterious man inspired ,anna always with an aversion hardly less than terror1 and although she had become familiar with his presence in her frequent visits1 it had never become less painful to her4 ,indeed1 latterly1 a new element of discomfort had been added to her feeling toward him1 since he had shown a marked disposition to follow her about1 and intrude a manner of unpleasant gallantry upon her4 ,he greeted her now almost effusively1 and1 perceiving that she was prepared as if for a journey1 asked at once3-- 8,not going away8 ,the painful hour of parting is not here yet1 surely80 ,anna made a vague and hurried reply4 8,because1 you know10 pursued ,oliver1 lowering his voice to an offensive tone of familiarity1 and maliciously mimicking the phraseology of his stepmother's friends1 8we could hardly spare our dear young sister yet2 she is becoming really indispensable to us10 and he held out one long hand as if to clasp that of ,anna1 leering at her repulsively4 ,anna rose hurriedly and moved away from him1 her heart beating hard with fear and antipathy4 ,to her great relief she heard ,gertrude ,ingraham's step in the hall1 and ,anna1 with her face paler than it had been1 met her at the door1 while ,oliver slunk away to a little distance1 and appeared to be looking out of a window unconcernedly4 ,gertrude ,ingraham carried a pocket-book open in her hand1 and as she spoke she looked at it1 and not at ,anna4 8,mamma is so very sorry1 and sends her best wishes and hopes for ,mr4 ,burgess's quick recovery4 ,she hopes you will let her know2 and1 ,miss ,mallison10 ,gertrude was evidently embarrassed1 8mamma says it is such a long and expensive journey1 and she wishes you would just take this with you to make everything as comfortable as may be40 ,and she drew out a crisp twenty-dollar note1 which she essayed to put in ,anna's hand4 ,anna had not known before that she was proud4 ,she did not know it now1 but ,gertrude ,ingraham did1 and was touched with keen compunction4 ,she understood that her mother would have been more successful4 ,it was only the swift1 unconscious protest of ,anna's hand1 the pose of her head as she turned to go1 and the quiet finality with which she said3-- 8,will you thank ,mrs4 ,ingraham for me1 and say ,i did not need it8 ,she is always kind4 ,good-by40 ,a moment later ,gertrude watched from the window the slender figure in its faded1 scanty black1 with the heavy1 old-fashioned satchel1 passing down the windswept lawn1 under the grey and bitter sky4 ,within was warmth and luxury and protection1 and yet ,gertrude's heart leaped with a strong passion of desire to forego all this and take ,anna ,mallison's place1 that so she might start on that long journey which should bring her1 at its end1 to the side of ,keith ,burgess4 ,small1 unseen tragedies in women's lives such as this1 never once1 perhaps1 expressed1 and never forgotten1 work out the heroic hypocrisies which women learn1 since such is their allotted part4 8,you might have known better than to offer money to that girl10 ,oliver's high1 shrill voice behind ,gertrude said4 8,she's as confoundedly proud as all the other saints4 ,but she'll have to come down yet4 ,we shall see some day40 ,thus unpleasantly interrupted in her reverie1 ,gertrude rose impatiently1 and left the room4 ,it was eight o'clock that evening when ,anna reached ,boston4 ,dismayed by the small remainder of money left her after her railway ticket was bought1 she had not dared to spend anything for food through all the day1 and had tried to think the cold1 dry bread1 a few slices of which she had put into her satchel1 was sufficient for her needs4 ,in ,boston a change of stations made a cab a necessity if she would not lose the ,portland train1 and this she must not do1 since she had telegraphed ,keith from ,burlington that she would be with him in the morning4 ,anna alighted at the station of the ,maine ,railroad and heard the cabman say that his fee was two dollars with a sensation hardly less than terror4 ,she paid him without a word1 then entering the station1 sat down in the glare of light amid the confusion of the moving crowd1 and looked into her poor little purse1 a sharp contraction at her throat as she counted1 and found less than three dollars left4 ,the train would leave in fifteen minutes4 ,anna went with as brave a face as she could manage1 to the office1 and asked what was the fare to ,portland4 ,the curt reply of the agent proved the glaring insufficiency of her small remaining store4 ,trembling with weakness and dismay1 ,anna turned back to her place and sat down1 closing her eyes while she prayed4 ,she had friends in missionary circles in ,boston1 who would gladly have lent her money1 but time failed to seek them out4 ,she thought1 as she prayed1 of the money which ,gertrude ,ingraham had proffered in the morning1 and1 humbled1 asked forgiveness for the ignorance and pride which had led her to reject it4 ,the thought of ,keith watching1 perhaps in vain1 for her coming in his loneliness and great need1 perhaps in his extremity1 overwhelmed her with pity and penitence4 ,having prayed for forgiveness and for guidance1 and for a way out1 and a way to ,keith that night1 she opened her eyes1 astonished for the moment at the harsh light and the motley scene about her1 her actual surroundings having been for the time forgotten in the complete abstraction of her mind4 ,she gazed for a few moments languidly before her1 her face so colourless and sorrowful that many persons who passed her looked back at her in curiosity and concern4 ,presently the space before her became clear2 there was a pause in the fluctuating course of passers-by1 and nothing interposed1 for the instant1 between her and the window of the ticket office4 ,an elderly gentleman in a long travelling cloak and silk hat1 carrying a snug and shiny travelling bag1 came up to the window with the confident and assured bearing of the experienced traveller4 ,anna heard him ask for a ticket to ,portland4 ,she recognized him at once1 for it was ,dr4 ,durham1 the missionary secretary who had once been her father's guest4 ,when he turned from the window1 the doctor found the pale1 quiet girl in black standing just behind him2 she spoke to him with a radiant light in her face1 such as he had never met before4 ,to herself1 ,anna was saying with a sense of exquisite joy in her heart1 8,god is near10 feeling herself close touched by the ,almightiness4 ,to her father's friend she told her story and her need in few words1 without hesitation or doubt1 declaring1 necessarily1 her engagement to ,keith ,burgess1 and the fact that she was hastening to reach him on account of his serious illness4 8,amazing1 my dear10 exclaimed ,dr4 ,durham1 taking off his hat and wiping the large shining baldness of his head1 8amazing indeed6 ,i am myself on my way to ,burgess1 and we can make the journey together4 ,poor fellow6 ,it is a sad case4 ,i had a telegram yesterday1 but it was impossible to start until to-night4 ,it seems he has had a hemorrhage4 ,but we will talk all this over on the way10 and the good old gentleman made haste to buy ,anna's ticket1 which he said it was only the part of the ,society to do1 and she must never mention it again4 ,this done1 they hastened on together to the train4 ,,chapter ,,xiv ,how true it is that our destinies are decided by nothings1 and that a small imprudence helped by some insignificant accident1 as an acorn is fertilized by a drop of rain1 may raise the tree on which perhaps we and others shall be crucified4444 ,poor1 sorely tried ,faith6 ,she has but one way out of the difficulty--the word ,mystery4 ,it is in the origins of things that the great secret of destiny lies hidden1 although the breathless sequence of after events has often many surprises for us too4--,,amiel4 ,the incredible luxury of her breakfast the next morning in the hotel in ,portland made an impression upon ,anna which she could never forget1 since she was1 in fact1 very nearly starved4 ,the rich coffee1 the delicate and sumptuous food1 the noiseless assiduity of the sleek black waiters1 the great glittering room1 all partook of the marvellous to her exhausted senses4 ,then she was conducted through endless passages where her feet trod in baffling silence upon the lanes of thick crimson carpet1 for a few moments she was alone in a room to bathe and prepare herself1 and then a low-voiced woman1 stout and motherly1 met her at the door1 and she was led to ,keith4 ,he was lying1 fully dressed1 on a broad velvet sofa1 in a richly furnished room1 which was full of flowers1 and bright with the light of the snowy winter morning and a blazing wood fire4 ,his eyes were luminous1 his colour better than she had known it1 and he did not look ill4 ,the nurse left them alone1 and they met with unfeigned but quiet happiness4 8,was ,i selfish to ask you to come this long journey1 just for me80 ,keith asked anxiously1 holding her hands4 ,anna found his hot and tremulous1 and soothed them with a slow1 strong motion of her own4 8,no1 not selfish10 she said4 8,you see1 ,i am not very ill2 in fact1 ,i am sure the worst is over now1 and ,i shall be just as well as ever in a few weeks2 but ,i had a terrible cold and coughing so there was a little hemorrhage1--simply from the throat1 we understand it now1--but at the time the doctor himself was alarmed1 and so was ,i4 ,if ,i had known how slight an affair it really was1 ,i should not have asked so much of you1 but ,i cannot be sorry1 ,anna4 ,i shall have to stay right here for several weeks1 they say1 and it will be everything to have you near me1 don't you see80 8,i am most grateful to be with you1 ,keith40 8,and will you talk to me about ,india1 and about our home there8 ,i have thought of it so continually since ,i have been sick4 ,it almost seems as if ,i had seen it1 and you in it4 ,i love it already1 ,anna4 ,please say that you do too1 just a little40 8,tell me about it4 ,of course ,i shall love it40 8,it is all made of bamboo1 you know1 the house1 and perched up in the air1 and there are great1 wide rooms1 with cool shade1 and a sound of water flowing2 there are broad bamboo lattices at the windows1 and it is still and peaceful1 and the servants go about softly1 and you are there in a white dress1 ,anna1--oh1 how ,i want to see you in that white dress6 ,it has tiny borders of gilt and coloured embroidery1 and it suits you so much better than this hard black gown4 ,will you have a dress made soon like that80 ,anna smiled and pressed her hand over ,keith's eyes1 which were full of childish imploring4 ,she was beginning to see his weakness with a new pain at her heart4 ,she sat with him an hour1 and then1 the doctor coming in1 she was sent to her room to sleep until noon1 while ,keith should rest1 and have an interview with ,dr4 ,durham1 their fatherly friend4 ,when ,anna reached her room1 she found on a table a large jar of roses1 rich in colour and fragrance1 and a basket of hothouse grapes4 ,the day was bitterly cold1 and it was snowing hard1 the thick snowflakes melting against the broad1 thick glass of her window4 ,the extravagant luxury of such fruit and flowers in this depth of midwinter astonished and disturbed her4 ,there was no one of whom she could ask questions1 but how could it be right for ,keith to spend so much money8 ,to remain for weeks in such a hotel as this seemed to ,anna to involve an impossible expenditure1 and she lay down on the great luxurious bed with a bewildering confusion of questions to which no answers were forthcoming4 ,from the pinching cold and hunger of yesterday to the luxurious ease of to-day was like the transformation of a fairy tale2 and ,keith1 with his weak hands1 and his bright eyes1 and his wistful eagerness was formidable in his appeal to her4 ,she did not know what might be coming1 but she felt anew that she had surrendered herself and was pledged now to do another's will4 ,at noon ,anna had a moment's conference with ,keith's physician4 ,he assured her that there was a remarkable change for the better in his patient1--in fact1 that he looked now for a speedy convalescence1 adding that her coming had produced a most favourable effect4 ,the whole afternoon of that ,january day1 ,keith and ,anna were left alone together4 ,the nurse1 glad of a brief release1 took her 8afternoon out02 the various doctors of medicine and divinity betook themselves to other places2 and word was given the page that ,mr4 ,burgess could not receive visitors1 so that flowers and cards accumulated1 and interruptions were postponed4 ,there was justice in what ,keith said1 that they had never yet had a chance to get acquainted1 and now the afternoon was turned to good account4 ,experience and instinct made ,anna a nurse4 ,keith was sure he had never been so wholly comfortable as she made him1 and the effect of her personal presence was like health and healing to him4 8,how dear you are1 ,anna1 and how absolutely necessary to me10 he said fondly1 as he watched her quiet way of preparing his food and medicine4 8,i foresee plainly that ,i can never let you leave me40 ,when twilight gathered and the room grew dusky1 they had no lights1 but sat by the fire1 ,anna on a low seat beside the sofa1 and silence fell4 ,when ,keith spoke again1 his voice betrayed a rising emotion1 and an appeal before which she trembled within herself4 8,anna10 he said1 8why should you leave me again8 ,why need we be separated any more8 ,i need you4 ,i can get strong far faster with you beside me1 for you inspire me with a new life4 ,everything seems sure and strong when you are with me4 ,but ,i want you wholly mine without fear or favour4 ,marry me1 dear1 to-night1 to-morrow6 ,what have we to wait for8 ,it is only three months before our marriage was to be1 you know40 ,concealing her agitation1 and speaking quite steadily and soothingly1 ,anna answered3-- 8,but you know1 ,keith1 ,i must go back in a few weeks1 and finish my work in the school and hospital4 ,i have still so much to learn before ,i can make a really useful missionary1 and so little time before ,may to learn it in4 ,you know ,i have cut my preparation short a year1 now1 so that we may go out together4 ,i am sure we ought to wait until ,may40 8,oh1 ,anna60 ,the words1 so spoken1 had all the force of an inarticulate cry from the man's heart4 ,they told what hours of argument and pleading could not have conveyed1--the yearning need for her presence and her upholding4 ,anna lifted her eyes to ,keith's1 and saw that they were dim with tears4 ,she did not feel them to be unmanly tears1 knowing his physical exhaustion1 and they moved her profoundly4 ,she rose and walked to the window1 looking out into the snowy street4 ,again that sense that her life was taken out of her own hands came upon her2 she felt like those of old who feared as they entered into the cloud4 ,she feared1 but1 nevertheless1 she went back to ,keith1 and said1 very gently1 but without hesitation3-- 8,if we should be married to-morrow night1 would that please you1 ,keith80 ,he caught her hand and pressed it to his cheek with pathetic eagerness4 8,oh1 my girl1 am ,i wrong to move you to do this for my sake8 ,forgive me1 leave me1 if ,i am leading you faster1 farther1 than you wish to go40 8,i will not leave you1 ,keith10 ,anna replied1 taking her low seat again at his side1 8never1 any more4 ,it is the will of ,god40 ,the next day ,keith was much stronger4 ,he was able to walk about the room1 to sit up for an hour at a time1 and to talk and plan to his heart's desire4 ,his spirits were high1 and he was full of irrepressible happiness1 and yet a wistful1 grateful question always rose in his eyes when they rested upon ,anna4 ,the marriage was arranged to take place in ,keith's room at six o'clock4 ,dr4 ,durham had consented to remain and perform the ceremony1 returning to ,boston that night4 ,keith's physician had interposed no objection to the plan1 and even regarded the inevitable excitement as likely to be a benefit rather than an injury to his patient4 8,he needs you1 ,miss ,mallison10 he remarked with an emphasis which ,anna felt to be peculiarly significant1 finding him a man of few words4 ,it was five o'clock1 and ,anna had gone to her room to make ready for the ceremony4 ,at ,keith's urgent desire1 and by the aid of one of the many efficient friends whom the circumstances of his illness had gathered around him1 a white dress had been ordered for her4 ,she found it now1 lying in delicate tissue wrappings upon her bed1 and beside it a box of orange flowers whose fragrance filled the room4 ,she was becoming a little inured to luxury2 colour1 warmth1 perfume1 delight to sense1 seemed here to be the natural order4 ,a vague perplexity lay below it all1 but she had ceased now to ask questions4 ,as she bent to take her wedding-gown from its wrappings1 some one knocked at her door4 ,it was ,dr4 ,durham4 ,there was a shade of anxiety upon his kind old face1 and he asked her to come with him into an alcove at the end of the hall4 ,with an uneasy stirring at her heart1 ,anna followed him4 ,keith's physician was standing by a table in the alcove1 evidently awaiting them4 ,anna looked into his face1 waiting without speaking for what he might have to say4 ,surely it was impossible that ,keith could be worse2 it was not ten minutes since she left him4 8,miss ,mallison10 said the doctor1 gravely1 8,i have been having a little conference with your friend1 ,dr4 ,durham1 and we find that there is a chance that you may be under some misapprehension of the actual conditions under which--under which you are about to take an important step40 8,i did not understand it myself1 my dear girl1 until within the last hour10 interposed ,dr4 ,durham2 8and ,i really don't know now what we ought to do4 ,still1 perfect frankness1 perfect understanding1 you know1 may be better for all parties40 ,the good old man was visibly oppressed with the burden of the part he had to bear in the interview4 ,motionless ,anna stood1 only turning her eyes from one man to the other in troubled wonder4 8,the facts are simply these10 the physician took up the word again1 8and ,i am greatly surprised1 and ,i may add greatly pained1 that they have not apparently been understood before4 ,mr4 ,burgess will recover from this attack1 and may have years yet of moderate health1 but as for carrying out his purpose to go out as a foreign missionary1 it is absolutely impossible4 ,such a course would simply be suicidal1 and must not be considered for a moment40 8,not now1 perhaps10 ,anna spoke very low1 in a strange1 muffled tone2 8but it may be--later--80 and she turned her imploring eyes from the face of one man to the other4 8,to be perfectly frank1 my dear10 said ,dr4 ,durham1 pressing his hands nervously together1 8after what the doctor has told me of the condition of our dear friend1 the organic difficulty1 and all that1 you see--,i fear that ,i can only1 in justice to all concerned1 state plainly that our ,board would not be justified in sending him4 ,i assure you the blow is a severe one to me in my capacity as secretary2 for we regard ,keith ,burgess as1 perhaps1 the most promising candidate who has ever come before us4 ,it is a dark ,providence1 and you will believe me that only a sense of our duty in the matter has led us to put the case so plainly before you40 ,anna did not speak4 8,i was not aware1 ,miss ,mallison10 said the physician1 8until an hour ago1 that you were yourself under appointment as a missionary4 ,when ,i learned this fact1 it seemed to me that you should not enter upon the proposed line of action without knowing clearly that it involves giving up your chosen career10 and with these words the doctor bowed and turned to withdraw4 ,anna turned to ,dr4 ,durham4 8,mr4 ,burgess does not know that he must give up--80 she asked4 8,no1 oh1 no10 was the reply2 8the doctor says that he must on no account be allowed to learn it until he is stronger4 ,his heart is so entirely bound up in this noble purpose1 that the blow will be a terrible one when it comes40 8,we must wait1 ,miss ,mallison1 until he is as far as may be recovered1 before we allow him to even suspect the actual state of the case20 the doctor added this1 looking at ,anna's face with surprise and concern4 8,if ,i can serve you in any way1 do not fail to call upon me4 ,for the present ,i must say good evening10 and he hastened away4 ,dr4 ,durham followed1 walking along the hall by his side4 ,the look in ,anna's face awed him4 ,he felt that it was not his right to share in an hour of such conflict as this bade fair to be to her1 for he perceived already something of what her missionary vocation meant to her4 ,anna1 however1 did not notice that he had gone2 the crisis was too great to permit her paying heed to the accidental circumstances around her4 ,a voice in her heart seemed crying with constant iteration1 8,father6 ,father6 ,what does ,god mean80 ,for ten minutes ,anna stood alone in the alcove1 looking steadily before her1 but in her bewildered pain seeing no outward thing1 while in the far dim reaches of the hall the good old clergyman paced noiselessly to and fro4 ,on one side ,anna saw her father's life1 with all its deep renunciation1 its pure aims1 its defeat1 and its one final hope of fulfilment in herself2 she saw the look in his eyes as he bent above her in the little church that night1 when she declared her purpose to become a missionary2 she remembered his ,nunc ,dimittis as he blessed her with dying eyes2 she lived again through the solemn hour of dedication1 just after her father's death1 when the sense came upon her that she was called of ,god to carry on what her father began1 to be in herself the continuance1 and through divine grace the fruition1 of his life4 ,since that hour life had meant only one thing to ,anna2 no other purpose or desire had ever entered to divide or diminish its control over her3 she was set apart to carry the gospel of ,christ to the heathen2 this one thing only would she do4 ,this on the one side1 strong as life itself1 inwoven into the very texture of her soul and her consciousness4 ,on the other side ,keith ,burgess1 even now scarcely better than a stranger1 and yet1 by the will of ,god as she believed1 bound to her by sacred and indissoluble vows4 ,to be faithful to those vows1 to save him from despair1 perhaps from death1 she must cut off all her past1 must read her life all backward1 must annul and declare vain and void the most solemn purposes of her soul4 ,from his retreat1 watching1 ,dr4 ,durham at length saw ,anna advancing down the hall toward the door of her room4 ,he met her there1 a question he did not dare to speak in his tired1 kind old eyes4 ,her face was as the face of one who has even in the moment received a spiritual death-blow4 ,he held his watch in his hand4 ,without speaking1 ,anna motioned to him1 and he replied3-- 8,it is nearly half-past five1 my dear40 8,very well10 she said1 her voice dull and toneless2 8,i will be ready at six o'clock40 ,as if in a dream she prepared herself for her marriage4 ,she moved as if in response to another will than her own2 her own will seemed to lie dead before her1 a visible1 tangible thing1 done to death by her own hand4 ,the white gown1 ,keith's gift1 seemed less a wedding-garment than a burial robe1 and a strange smile crossed her face when she caught her reflection in the glass1 and saw that1 save for her eyes1 her face was wholly colourless1 the pale flowers on her breast hardly paler1 hardly colder4 ,at the clock-striking of the appointed hour1 ,anna entered the room1 and1 taking her place beside ,keith1 whose face was full of tender gladness1 she lifted her eyes steadily to the old clergyman's face1 listening as for life and death to his words4 8,in sickness and in health1 444 for richer for poorer1 444 and forsaking all others1 keep thee only unto him40 ,yes1 all others4 ,god only knew the significance of those words1 for they seemed to mean ,god himself just then2 but ,god would pity4 ,he would help4 ,her response came low but unfaltering1 and then1 with bowed heads1 standing side by side in their youth1 their innocence1 their patience of hope1 they two listened solemnly to the last irrevocable words4 ,so steadfastly ,anna held herself until the end1 but hardly had the final word of blessing been pronounced1 when1 with a low cry for help1 she wavered as she stood1 and fell fainting4 ,,book ,,ii ,,afternoon ,hear now our cry for strength to bear the weight of prayers unanswered4 --,,maarten ,,maartens4 ,,chapter ,,xv ,the evil base of our society eats right through2 that our wealthy homes are founded on the spoliation of the poor vitiates all the life that goes on within them4 ,somehow or other1 it searches through and degrades the art1 manners1 dress1 good taste of the inmates4--,,edward ,,carpenter4 ,it was a month later1 when a train from the east1 entering the ,fulham station at five o'clock of the ,february afternoon1 brought ,keith ,burgess and his wife home4 ,keith was apparently in fairly good physical condition1 and looked and carried himself much as he had when ,anna first knew him1 although she could now detect the underlying weakness which he strove hard to conceal4 ,he had been told in due time of what was involved in his illness4 ,the shock had been severe both to mind and body1 and for a while a serious relapse had seemed imminent4 ,those days had brought the young wife and husband into a new union of sympathy and suffering1 as each strove to bear the burden of their thwarted lives bravely for the other's sake4 ,not at that time nor at any later period was it possible for ,anna to let ,keith know to the full the meaning of this renunciation to her4 ,he knew that to her1 as to him1 the abandonment of the missionary purpose was a profound and poignant sorrow2 he did not know that it was the overthrow of all that had made her life hitherto1 and that1 whatever new forces and motives might produce out of the elements of her character1 the old life1 the first ,anna ,mallison1 was slain4 ,keith had told her little of what lay before them in his mother's home1 which was now to be theirs2 they had been too deeply absorbed in the present emergency to take much thought for the future4 ,this much1 however1 had been accomplished in a week's sojourn in ,boston3 ,keith would shortly be appointed to fill a missionary secretaryship1 which involved much travel and speaking in the interests of the cause1 but permitted him to make his residence in ,fulham4 ,the strong hope which ,anna clung to silently for herself1 as the last pitiful substitute for the calling now denied her1 was that she1 too1 might still accomplish something for the work so urgent in its claims upon her1 by presenting it1 as occasion offered1 among ,christian women in her own land4 ,but she knew that her life was no longer in her own hands to shape and direct as she might will2 not only was ,keith now to be her care1 her chief concern and interest1 but she looked forward to daughterly duties toward his invalid mother1 to whom it was in her mind to minister with loving and faithful devotion4 ,as the train now drew into the ,fulham station1 ,keith remarked1 casually3-- 8,there's ,foster1 all right4 ,i knew he would be on hand40 ,and1 looking from the car platform1 ,anna saw a grey-haired man-servant in plain livery1 who saluted ,keith respectfully as he hastened to the spot1 and wore an expression of solicitude and responsibility which stamped him at once as an old family servant4 ,as they gave over their hand luggage to this man1 and followed him out to the street where a plain closed carriage stood in waiting1 an unostentatious 8,b0 on the door showing it to be private1 a deep perplexity and confusion began to rise in ,anna's mind4 ,she had gradually become accustomed to the luxuries of the life in the ,portland hotel1 and had regarded them as incident to the passage of a grave crisis1 and justified1 perhaps1 by the necessities of the case2 but she had not been interested in thinking farther along the line of the ,burgesses' worldly status1 least of all minded to make it a matter of inquiry1 consequently the sight of the man-servant and the family carriage smote her with a sharp sense of entering a new and undreamed-of outward life4 ,in them was the first obvious token which had ever been given her of her husband's home surroundings and worldly position4 ,a vague anxiety and dread were awakened in ,anna by these small signs of a life and habit so widely at variance with her own past of austere privation4 ,she saw the low white cottage figured heretofore in her thought1 in the narrow street1 fading before her2 the geraniums in the window1 the cat on the cushion1 the braided mats1 the wooden rocking-chair1 the little table with the ,bible and cough-drops1 wavered in all their outlines1 and fell like a house of cards4 ,how would it be with the figure of the sweet1 saintly1 patient invalid to whom she was to minister8 ,must that go too8 ,anna ceased to speculate1 but she sat silent beside her husband1 and her heart beat hard4 ,when the carriage stopped1 it was in a fine old quiet street lined with substantial dwellings1 and before a large brick house painted a dull drab4 ,the house stood with its broad1 low front close to the street2 there were many small-paned1 shining windows1 and a brass knocker on the panelled black front door4 ,nothing could have been plainer or less pretentious1 and yet the house bore1 to ,anna's first intuitive perception1 its own unmistakable expression of decorous and inflexible dignity and quietly cherished family pride4 ,as they entered the wide1 low-ceiled1 oak-wainscoted hall1 a neatly dressed middle-aged woman advanced and1 speaking in a low voice to ,anna1 asked if she would follow her up to her rooms1 ,keith introducing her pleasantly as his mother's indispensable ,jane4 ,no one else was in sight2 but ,mrs4 ,burgess's invalid condition seemed to account sufficiently for this1 although ,anna had supposed her able to move about the house1 and even to go out under favouring conditions4 ,keith joined ,anna on the stairs1 taking her hand in his4 ,he smiled tenderly as he looked into her face1 but there was a nervous eagerness upon him which he could not conceal4 ,was he thinking that he had chosen his wife for far other scenes and a widely different life8 ,she could not tell4 8,this was my old room1 ,anna10 ,keith was saying now1 as they stood in the doorway of a spacious bedroom with old-fashioned mahogany furniture and handsome but faded chintz hangings4 ,there was a marble chimney-piece1 over which hung a large picture of ,keith1 with a boyish1 eager face4 ,jane now threw open a door from this room into another of equal size4 8,if you please1 ,i was to tell you this is to be ,mrs4 ,burgess's own sitting room10 she said respectfully1 8and the dressing room and bath beyond the bedroom will be for your own use entirely after this10 and she crossed to open another door4 ,keith drew ,anna on into the sitting room4 8,well1 now1 this is certainly very kind of my mother10 he said1 a flush of grateful pleasure rising in his sensitive face4 8,see1 ,anna1 this has always been the state apartment1 the guest-chamber of the house1 and she has had it refitted for our use40 8,how very kind10 said ,anna1 warmly4 ,the room was1 indeed1 in its own manner1 grave and subdued1 a luxurious parlour1 with good pictures1 handsome hangings1 and soft1 pale-tinted carpet4 8,i must go down at once and tell the dear mother how we thank her10 said ,keith1 and ,anna1 left alone1 returned to the bedroom and began to remove her travelling hat4 ,jane was beside her at once1 giving unneeded assistance4 8,shall ,i unpack for you directly80 she asked1 looking at ,keith's small trunk1 which was quite adequate to ,anna's few belongings1 added to her husband's4 ,anna felt her colour deepen as she declined the offered help1 and sat down with a little sigh in a great easy-chair4 ,but she submitted perforce when the maid knelt at her feet1 and1 quite as a matter of course1 removed her shoes4 ,it was the first time since babyhood that this office had been performed for ,anna by other hands than her own1 and she felt all her veins tingle with a shy reluctance1 but sat motionless4 ,rising1 ,jane looked about1 ,anna thought with a shade of dissatisfaction that there was thus far so little to be done1 so scanty a display of the small belongings of luxury4 8,when you are ready to dress for dinner10 she said1 with a touch of coldness1 8,i will come if you will just ring the bell4 ,the bell is here10 and she indicated the green twisted cord and heavy silk tassel at the head of the bed4 8,mrs4 ,burgess said she could spare me to wait on you for what you needed to-night10 she added4 8,thank you10 said ,anna1 gently1 but with the quiet unconscious loftiness of her own reserve4 8,mrs4 ,burgess is very good to think of it1 but ,i am accustomed to caring for myself1 and so ,i shall not need to trouble you40 8,very well1 that will be just as suits you1 ma'am4 ,i should be pleased to wait on you any time ,mrs4 ,burgess doesn't need me4 ,dinner will be at six o'clock1 then1 if you please40 ,thus saying the maid withdrew4 8,keith10 said ,anna1 with a perplexed countenance1 when a few moments later he joined her1 8,i find ,i ought to dress for dinner1 but ,i have nothing better to wear than this black gown4 ,you ought to have told me1 dear40 ,keith looked down at the straight fashionlessness of ,anna's black figure with unconcealed concern4 8,i ought to have thought10 he said1 8but it never occurred to me about your clothes4 ,we must get you a whole lot of new things straight away1 dear4 ,we will do it together1 and have a great time over it1 won't we8 ,and you will put off the black now for my sake8 ,i want to see you in wine-red silk and good lace40 8,oh1 ,keith60 cried ,anna1 8,i cannot imagine myself masquerading like that4 ,it would never do4 ,but for to-night--that is the trouble now40 8,why1 wear your wedding-gown1 sweetheart2 that is just the thing4 ,what luck that we did get that60 and ,keith was down on his knees before the trunk on the instant1 and soon produced the dress which1 being of fine white cashmere1 with a little lace about the neck1 was1 in fact1 altogether appropriate4 ,anna looked puzzled4 ,it seemed to her almost sacrilegious to put on that dress for everyday use1 and the association with it made her shiver1 even now1 but she did not dispute the matter4 ,just before six o'clock ,keith ushered his wife into the library downstairs1 where his mother sat waiting to receive them4 ,it was the sort of a library which ,anna had read of but had not seen--lined with books1 furnished with massive leather-covered chairs and darkly gleaming mahogany1 a dim old ,india carpet on the floor4 ,anna saw by the shaded drop-light the form of a small woman of fragile figure1 dressed in silver-grey silk1 with a white shawl of cobweb fineness of texture about her shoulders4 ,there were several good diamonds at her throat and on her hands1 her grey hair was beautifully dressed in soft waves and fastened with a quaint silver comb of fine workmanship4 ,her face was pale and the features delicately cut2 her movement as she advanced to meet ,anna was slow1 and1 in spite of her diminutive size1 stately1 and there was a crisp1 frosty rustle of her grey gown4 ,she took both ,anna's hands in hers with a cold1 kind smile1 and kissed her twice on her forehead1 ,anna bending low for the purpose4 ,she seemed to be at an incalculable height above the fine little lady1 and singularly young and immature4 ,at twenty-two she had felt herself a woman for long years1 with her sober cares and grave purposes2 but to-night1 before ,keith's mother1 she suddenly seemed to become a shy1 undeveloped girl again4 ,while they spoke a little of the journey and the night1 ,keith ,burgess turned on his heel and affected to be examining1 with critical interest1 an engraving above the fireplace1 which he had seen in the same spot all his life2 but he was watching them both aside narrowly as he stood4 ,he was perfectly satisfied4 ,if ,anna had been never so much prettier1 and possessed of all of ,mally ,loveland's confident social facility2 if she had met his mother as the country girl of this type would have done1 with eager and affectionate appeal that she should at once stand and deliver motherly sympathy and affection in copious measure1--there would have been only disappointment and chagrin4 ,but ,mrs4 ,burgess's bearing was not more reserved than that of her daughter-in-law4 ,at twenty-two ,anna's grave repose of manner was in itself a distinction1 and one which had its full weight with the elder woman4 ,plainly1 she had not a gushing provincial beauty on her hands to curb and fashion into form4 ,as for good looks1 there was a certain angular grace already in figure1 an unconscious dignity of attitude and bearing which suited ,keith's mother1 while for her face1 the eyes were good1 the brow very noble1 and the expression peculiarly lofty4 ,the succession of strong and sudden emotional experiences through which ,anna had recently passed had wrought a subtle change already in her face2 there was less severity1 less of hard1 conscientious rigour in its lines2 a certain transparent1 spiritual illumination softened the profound sadness which was her habitual expression4 ,at dinner1 a delicately sumptuous meal1 served with some state1 ,anna acquitted herself perfectly1 having the instincts of good breeding1 the habit of delicate refinement1 and having learned at ,mrs4 ,ingraham's table many of the small niceties which she could hardly have acquired in ,haran4 ,already1 within the first hour1 while seeing that her mother-in-law had been physically entirely able to meet her children at her door at their home-coming1 ,anna perceived the inevitable consistency of her waiting to receive them in due form and order4 ,formality and form were essentials of life in this house4 ,this did not oppress ,anna particularly1 and she liked to look at the cameo-cut delicacy of ,mrs4 ,burgess's face4 ,still1 perhaps never in her life1 never in the cheerless chambers of ,mrs4 ,wilson's poor house1 had ,anna known the homesickness with which she ate and drank--that night at her husband's table4 ,poverty and obscurity were old and tried friends to ,anna2 among them she would have been at home4 ,from wealth and social prominence she shrank with instinctive dread and ingrained disfavour4 ,the familiar austerities of poverty were1 to her1 denotements of mental elevation1 while the indulgences of wealth bore to her thought an almost vulgar pampering of appetite and ministering to sense4 ,the trained perfection of the silent attentive service in itself was an offence to her4 ,why should those people be turned into speechless automatons to watch every wish and wait upon every need of three other people no more deserving than themselves8 ,could it ever seem right to her8 ,she excused herself early4 ,left alone with him1 ,mrs4 ,burgess laid her small hand on ,keith's1 saying without warmth but with significant emphasis3-- 8,you have done very well1 ,keith1 in marrying ,miss ,mallison4 ,i confess ,i was not without some apprehension lest the wife who would have been a perfect helpmeet and companion for you in the foreign field might appear at some disadvantage in the life now before you in the ordering of ,providence40 8,anna is so absolutely true1 mother1 that she cannot be a misfit anywhere1 except among false conditions40 ,mrs4 ,burgess bowed her head4 8,i can see that she is a thoroughly exemplary young woman1 and while she may have much to learn of social conditions in a place like ,fulham1 the foundation is all right40 ,she paused a little1 and added reflectively3 8,her eyes and hands are extremely good4 ,her figure will improve4 ,i understand that her father belonged to the ,andover ,mallisons40 ,there was a little flicker of ,keith's eyelids1 but he made no reply1 taking up casually from the table a book at which he looked with mechanical indifference4 ,it was a volume of ,barnes's 8,notes40 ,this much only of ,anna's vision had had foundation4 ,,chapter ,,xvi ,for the most part people do not think at all4 ,they have little phrases and formulas which stand in their minds for thoughts and opinions1 and they repeat them parrotlike4 ,most of their notions and ideas and prejudices are mere extraneous accretions1 barnacled on to them by men and books in their passage through life1 as shells are on a vessel1 but not growing out of them or really belonging to them4--,,anon4 ,life in her creaking shoes ,goes1 and more formal grows1 ,a round of calls and cues4 --,w4 ,e4 ,,henley4 ,at the end of the week1 on ,saturday morning1 ,anna ,burgess was sitting on a low stool in the middle of her bedroom1 surrounded by a curious confusion and medley of miscellaneous things4 ,before her was an open cedar chest of large proportions2 its pungent odour was mingled with the spicy smell of winter apples1 dried fruits1 and maple sugar4 ,from the half unpacked chest1 quilts of calico patchwork and soft home-woven blankets were overflowing2 piles of snowy linen sheets and pillowcases1 finely hemstitched and bordered with delicate thread-work1 lay about the floor1 together with body linen of equal daintiness1 and books in dull and faded binding1 while the red apples1 rolled everywhere1 studded the confused array as commas do a printer's page4 ,in the chest still lay some old-fashioned furs and other clothing4 ,anna1 as she sat1 had her lap heaped with a quantity of yellowed lace1 and a number of small1 thin silver spoons4 ,she was reading a letter1 and1 as she read1 unconsciously tears were running down her cheeks4 8,you must have known10 wrote ,gulielma ,mallison1 8that ,i could not let my dear daughter go empty-handed to her new home4 ,the box has been long1 however1 in being made ready1 but ,i know your husband and his mother will make excuses1 the marriage having been so sudden4 ,lucia and ,i have taken comfort in sorting out and preparing the things4 ,the linen is1 much of it1 what was left of my own bridal outfit1 but we have bleached it on the snow1 and it is still strong4 ,the silver ,i have tried to divide equally among you all4 ,this is your portion4 ,the little porringer1 you know1 came over from ,germany with my mother1 then the ,jungfrau ,benigna von ,brosius4 8,i regret that ,i am unable to provide you with more dresses1 etc41 but there is little to do with and little to choose from in ,haran4 ,indeed1 ,i hardly ever get to ,haran any more1 my rheumatism is so bad1 and the going has been terrible this winter4 ,we got ,lucia's husband's sister to buy the white cotton cloth1 and sent it back by ,joseph when he went down with a load of wood4 ,the brown cloak ,i shall not be likely to need any more1 going out so seldom1 and ,lucia says she doesn't begrudge it to you at all1 being much too long for her1 and it would be a shame to cut off any of that material to waste4 ,you know it is the best of camlet cloth1 and there is no wear out to it4 ,i have given ,lucia the melodeon1 and she says it is only fair that you should have the cloak and the brown silk dress4 ,we got ,amanda ,turner to make that over for you by an old waist we had of yours4 ,she was here three days1 right through the worst snowstorm we have had all winter1 and there was nothing to interrupt us4 ,we turned the silk and made it all over4 ,i think we succeeded pretty well4 ,i thought you really ought to have one silk dress1 now you are going to live in this country4 ,of course you'll be invited out to tea some1 there in ,fulham4 ,the grey merino will do for afternoons4 ,i made you four aprons1 two white1 and two check to wear about your work1 and you'll need them afternoons for taking care of your husband's mother4 ,please give her my best respects4 ,i send the dried fruit to her1--maybe it will tempt her appetite a little1--and part of the maple sugar1 that in the little cakes4 ,lucia ran it for her especially4 ,we thought maybe they wouldn't have it down there in ,fulham1 that was pure4 8,i am sorry we haven't anything better to send ,mr4 ,burgess1 but ,i put in your dear father's quilted dressing-gown as my particular present2 his health being so poor1 ,lucia and ,i thought it might be acceptable4 ,the books are for him1 from your father's library44440 ,the letter dropped in ,anna's lap1 and covering her face with both hands1 she burst into passionate tears4 ,her old life1 in all its homely1 simple sweetness called her mightily1 and the sharp sense of her own separation from it now and forever tore her heart4 ,her mother's inability to comprehend the new conditions1 the eager self-sacrifice which had gladly shorn her own poor life bare of every lingering superfluity of possession that she might equip her child with such small dower as was attainable1 had to ,anna a pathos which seemed almost too poignant to endure4 ,how well1 oh1 how well she understood the planning and contriving1 the simple joy in each small new object gained2 the delight which her mother and ,lucia had shared in picturing to themselves her own grateful surprise in the manifold treasures stored in the dear old chest1 itself an heirloom of impressive value in the ,mallison family4 ,and she was grateful beyond words to tell1 and pleased and proud to come thus set out to her husband2 and yet1 these possessions1 so unspeakably precious to her1 would1 she knew only too well1 wear a rustic and incongruous aspect in the ,burgess household4 ,she knew that ,keith and his mother would be gentle and respectful in thought as in word1 but she knew the faint embarrassment which they would try to conceal in receiving gifts for which they would have no use2 she knew the delicate1 half-pitying1 well-meaning sympathy1 which could never understand1 try as it would4 ,on ,sunday morning1 ,anna attended church with her husband and his mother for the first time1 the latter making a great effort1 since church-going was far beyond her usual invalid routine4 ,when ,anna presented herself in the hall ready to start1 ,mrs4 ,burgess1 or ,madam ,burgess as she was generally styled after this time1 had bit her lip and almost gasped1 such was her amazement and dismay4 ,however1 she had said nothing1 the situation being plainly hopeless1 and she sat in the carriage in speechless anxiety1 while ,keith's face reflected the same emotion4 ,he had felt it impossible to interfere with ,anna's arraying herself as she had for church1 seeing with his sensitive perception that the garments fashioned and sent her from her home by the hands of her mother and sister1 for such a time as this1 were in her eyes sacredly beyond criticism or cavil4 ,anna now preceded him1 following his mother1 down the broad aisle of the stately and well-filled church1 drawing to herself unconsciously the attention of many eyes4 ,she wore over the soft overshot silk gown the brown camlet cloak which had formed in her mother's eyes the chief glory of her simple trousseau4 ,it was a long1 circular cape1 falling to the hem of her dress1 drawn up about the throat and shoulders with quaint smocking after a forgotten art1 and tied with a long1 loose bow of changeable brown ribbon4 ,the outlines of this garment were so simple and so natural that it could never1 at any period or by any shift of fashion1 become awkward1 but it had at that time an effect of ,puritan-like quaintness4 ,she wore a dark1 broad-brimmed hat with falling plumes1 according well in simplicity as in colour with her cloak4 ,as she passed down to the ,burgess pew1 her height and bearing1 the flowing outline of her costume1 the purity and unconscious1 childlike seriousness of her face with its clear brune pallor1 the steady light of her hazel eyes1 the lustreless masses of her dark hair1 all combined to make a singular impression of medival loveliness1 of something rare and fine and wholly distinct from the prevalent type of women in the ambitious little city4 ,there were some who1 seeing her1 smiled and whispered at the quaintness of her dress2 there were others who found their eyes irresistibly drawn again and again by the picturesque harmony of her figure2 there were one or two persons who1 watching the proud1 pure severity of her face as she sat with her soul lifted to ,god and heedless of outward things1 saw in her a woman fit for reverence and wonder1 one whose spirit had been most evidently nourished on the greatness and simplicity of spiritual realities1 and who was yet untouched by 8the world's slow stain40 ,and so it came about that ,keith ,burgess and his mother1 who had been dismayed at the lack of conformity to fashion in ,anna's dress at this first appearance in their world1 found themselves met1 the service over1 by men and women who had admiration and interest1 sober and sincere1 to express1 and much to say aside of the singular distinction1 the aristocratic dignity and charm1 of the bride4 ,madam ,burgess was not slow to produce the good points of ,anna's ancestry of which she had quickly possessed herself1 thus enhancing the favourable impression1 and she was ready to accept ,anna1 cloak and all1 herself1 when the son of one of ,fulham's leading men1 ,pierce ,everett1 an artist newly returned from ,paris1 came to her with a respectful but eager wish that ,mrs4 ,keith ,burgess would at some future day grant him the notable favour of sitting to him for some saint's face and figure4 ,there was a little crowd about them as they passed out to their carriage1 and much kind and deferential courtesy pressing upon ,anna's notice4 ,a group of young girls on the church steps watched her with shy1 awed glances1 and murmured to each other that they adored her1 she was so different from any bride they had ever seen2 she was grave and quiet1 and something of pathos and mystery seemed to remove her far from the conscious1 fluttering pink-and-white brides of their experience4 ,the young artist1 ,pierce ,everett1 joined a friend1 a professor of literature in the local university1 ,nathan ,ward1 as he walked away from the church4 8,what a study for a saint60 he exclaimed1 with enthusiasm4 8,i did not suppose there was such a woman left in the world4 ,where can she have been saved up to keep that super-earthly look80 ,professor ,ward smiled4 ,after a silence he said1-- 8,here's a conundrum1 if it is ,sunday3 ,why is ,keith ,burgess like ,st4 ,francis of ,assisi80 ,the answer not being forthcoming1 ,professor ,ward presently volunteered it4 8,because he has espoused ,poverty1 ,chastity1 and ,obedience4 ,in ,mrs4 ,keith these three are one40 ,fulham was a small city with a college of no great reputation1 which called itself a university by reason of having a divinity school affiliated4 ,furthermore it was a seaboard town and had had a large shipping trade in former years1 now slowly dying a natural death4 ,the aristocratic circle of ,fulham--there was but one--was as definitely marked and as strongly defended from invasion as it is possible for such a circle to be1 even in an old ,new ,england town4 ,in fact1 it existed more obviously for its own defence and preservation from the ineligible than for any other reason2 and only two classes of citizens were eligible1--namely1 those who had some connection with 8the university10 and those who inherited either poverty or riches from ancestors engaged in foreign commerce4 ,these two agreed in one1 and agreed to rule out all others4 ,thus the aristocratic circle was necessarily small and its social functions painfully mechanical and monotonous2 its maidens were proverbially lacking in personal charms1 and its young men1 with rare exceptions1 fled1 escaping to more interesting and varied scenes2 but it was supremely satisfied1 rejoiced in the distinction of its unattainable exclusiveness1 and looked with cold and unrelenting disfavour upon all strangers1 newcomers1 or fellow-citizens1 however meritorious1 who failed to possess the sole claims to its ranks4 ,madam ,burgess enjoyed a double title to membership in this exclusive circle4 ,her fathers before her1 for several generations1 had been shipowners residing in the house now her own1 to which her husband1 the ,reverend ,elon ,burgess1 had come1 as an eminently suitable adjunct upon their marriage4 ,mr4 ,burgess had filled a minor chair in the divinity school for the ten years of their married life2 he had not filled even this particularly well1 being a man of small calibre1 lacking in any trace of original power or talent1 but his name was in the university catalogue1 and hence his place in the ranks of ,fulham's high social circle safe forever4 ,but1 although of limited ability1 ,professor ,burgess was fine of grain and fine of habit1 and sincerely pious in a day when to be called pious did not awaken a smile4 ,in the fear and faith of ,god and in true humility he had lived and died1 leaving perhaps no very large and irreparable vacancy1 and no overwhelming sense of loss or desolation even to his wife and son1 and still having borne-- 8without reproach ,the fine old name of gentleman40 ,as a girl ,sarah ,keith had given satisfactory evidence of a 8change of heart10 and in a time of profound missionary awakening she had declared herself strongly in sympathy with foreign missions4 ,to the position thus taken she had consistently adhered4 ,all boards and auxiliaries to which she was available claimed her name on their lists4 ,missionary literature was always scattered abundantly in her library1 her gifts were large1 and her allegiance to religious interests was so completely taken for granted that it would no more have been questioned in ,fulham than her place in its aristocracy4 ,certainly she never doubted herself that she was essentially a religious woman4 ,nevertheless1 religion1 whether personal or in its outreaching toward a world which she would have unhesitatingly called 8lost10 consisted for her now in a series of mechanical observances1 and in tenacious orthodoxy of opinion it had become a dry husk enclosing a dead seed4 ,the brief blossoming of the religious impulse of her young years over1 she had fixed her affections on the small adventitious trappings of 8this transitory life10 and denied unconsciously the power of that other life1 the form of which she so punctiliously maintained4 ,her invalidism was becoming1 not inconvenient on the whole1 and not wholly imaginary4 ,such was the woman who was now by the ordering of ,providence to rule and direct the unfoldings of ,anna's early womanhood1 since ,keith ,burgess cherished a respect and submission to his mother which would have found something akin in ,chinese ancestor-worship4 ,he had reproduced in his own young life his mother's early missionary fervour2 that it was long dead in her case he did not suspect4 ,with ,keith this experience had received a strong accent from the temper of his college life1 and from the possibility of an actual dedication of himself to the missionary vocation4 ,it had thus become1 as we have seen1 for a time nobly and completely dominant with him1 the strongest passion his life had known4 ,he was himself surprised to find1 on his reaction from the crisis of loss and disappointment connected with his illness and the abandonment of a missionary career1 how natural and1 on the whole1 how satisfactory it was to settle back into his own place in his old home1 to fall back into the small1 comfortable interests of ,fulham1 and to find full soon an aspect of unreality and even of incongruity clothing his former ardent dream4 ,not so ,anna4 ,the ordered precision1 the formal1 stiff monotony1 repeated day after day in her husband's home1 the cold1 conventional courtesies1 the absence of any purpose save to maintain things in existing form without progress or alteration1 for a time exerted upon her an almost paralyzing effect4 ,a torpid dulness1 a physical oppression1 came upon her when shut up alone to the companionship of ,madam ,burgess1 against which she found it impossible to struggle successfully4 ,accustomed to serious mental work1 to much strenuous bodily labour1 to the wholesome severity of long walks in all weathers1 and more than all to the stimulus of a great1 immediate purpose ennobling every homeliest task and smallest service1--the present life of inaction1 of sluggish ease1 of absence of responsibility of motive or purpose1 was like the life of a prison4 ,a heavy1 spiritless apathy overbore every motion to fresh endeavour or to new hopes and incitements4 ,she 8fluttered and failed for breath10 and at times her heart seemed bursting with its longing1 the old wild1 girlish longing1 grown still and deep1 for freedom and for power4 ,with mechanical indifference she accompanied ,madam ,burgess on her daily drives1 paid and received visits1 shopped1 and attended the various prescribed social functions1 read aloud to ,keith1 and made a feint of embroidering the great ottoman cover which her mother-in-law had contrived for her leisure4 ,it was a stag's head with impossible square eyes1 the head partially surrounded by a half-wreath of oak leaves and acorns1 staring out of an illimitable field of small red stitches1 numberless as the sands of the seashore1 and significant1 ,anna thought wearily1 of her endless1 monotonous hours4 ,all the while1 just below the surface1 repeated through the long days1 was the bitter conflict of her spirit1 her perpetual1 unanswered questioning1 ,why had ,god thus dealt with her8 ,why1 with all power to save or heal1 had he permitted the illness to come upon ,keith which had thus brought to naught what she had supposed was the very and sacred purpose of her creation4 ,upon the intensity of youth and a nature of profound and passionate earnestness this thwarting of her dedicated purpose1 this apparent rejection of herself from the service of ,god1 worked piteous havoc4 ,anna did not grow sullen or rebellious1 but she felt her whole interior life to be in hopeless confusion4 ,her sense of an immediate and personal relation to a fatherly ,god had suffered something like an earthquake shock4 ,all the high faith1 the sacred and filial purpose1 the profound self-dedication of her girlhood1 seemed to have been flung aside by the ,god whom she had sought to know and serve1 with cold1 blank indifference1 without sign or suggestion of pity1 of love1 or of amends4 ,the ,god of whom ,mrs4 ,westervelt had taught her1 a conception which she had gradually absorbed and assimilated as her own1 a ,god closer than breathing1 nearer than hands and feet1 to whom the heart was never lifted in vain1 whose presence could be indubitably felt and known1 who answered every holy and devout prayer of his children1 and who led them immediately in every thought and action--where was he8 ,either he existed only in imagination1 or she was herself rejected by him as unworthy2 and1 in a depth below the depth of burning grief1 she saw her father likewise despised and rejected4 ,a great protest1 honest and indignant1 rose up in ,anna's heart4 ,she knew that1 as far as mortal man could be holy and harmless in the eyes of his ,god1 her father had been2 and she knew that her own purposes had been blameless and sincere4 ,she refused to quibble with herself in regard to these facts2 something staunch and sturdy in her mental constitution--not obstinacy1 not pride1 but sheer inward honesty--refused to seek accommodation in any forced paroxysm of humility or blind submission4 ,with a sorrow which a lighter nature could not have comprehended1 but with characteristic conclusiveness1 she said to herself1 the stress of her inward conflict spent1 8,i do not know ,god10 and composed her spirit in silence to wait4 ,at the end of a month ,keith returned to his class in the ,massachusetts ,divinity ,school1 with which he was to graduate in ,june4 ,immediately thereafter he expected to enter upon the duties of his missionary secretaryship1 and make his home in ,fulham with his wife and mother4 ,thrown thus upon the sole companionship of ,madam ,burgess1 and forced either to make the best of the situation or to appear the crude1 undisciplined provincial who sullenly refuses to adapt herself to new conditions1 ,anna's native good sense came to her rescue4 ,with strong will she crowded down her mental conflict1 while with conscientious earnestness she addressed herself to the duty of making herself a cheerful and sympathetic companion to her husband's mother1 and of filling the social position in which she was undeniably placed1 however inscrutable the reasons therefor4 ,new influences came out to meet and win her on every side1 and she responded with a social grace1 and even facility1 which amazed all who had seen her first as the cold1 pale1 silent girl whose marriage altar had seemed rather an altar of sacrifice4 ,an effect of singular charm was produced by this new mental attitude1 the opening out of a nature until now so closely sealed4 ,the native seriousness1 the fine1 direct simplicity1 of ,anna's girlhood remained2 but they seemed flooded with a new and warmer light1 welcome as daily sunshine while the hardness1 the rigour1 and the severity melted away4 ,she submitted without further protest to the comparative luxury of her surroundings1 found it surprisingly agreeable1 and discovered a fresh1 forgotten joy in simple physical existence1 which carried her bravely through the long1 dull days of the ,burgess order of life4 ,notwithstanding all these things1 below the surface of her life1 often below the surface of her thought1 lay an unplumbed depth of spiritual loneliness1 a sense of double orphanhood1 a voice which cried and would not be stilled2 for while men and women had come near1 of ,god she had become shy1 feeling toward him as toward a dearest friend grown cold4 ,but one night1 as she lay alone and wakeful1 tears painful1 not easily flowing1 wetting her pillow1 a sudden thought stung her by its throbbing wonder and delight1 seeming great enough to reconcile all things1 even ,god1 who had filled her with bitterness1 and hedged her about in all her ways4 ,she said to herself1 8,it may be ,i shall have a child10 and the deep places of her nature called to each other in joy and exultation2 and she knew that1 if this grace should be given her1 all would yet be clear1 and she could still believe in ,god's love1 and in his purpose in her life4 ,so1 blindly groping through the rough and thorny way by which humanity has sought ,god through many ages1 this human soul1 sincere and humble1 perpetuated the heart-breaking fallacy of conditioning the ,divine ,love1 the ,eternal ,power and ,godhead1 on the small mutations of her own life1 seen at short range4 ,,chapter ,,xvii ,affections1 ,instincts1 ,principles1 and ,powers1 ,impulse and ,reason1 ,freedom and ,control-- ,so men1 unravelling ,god's harmonious whole1 ,rend in a thousand shreds this life of ours4 ,vain labour6 ,deep and broad1 where none may see1 ,spring the foundations of that shadowy throne ,where man's one nature1 queen-like1 sits alone1 ,centred in a majestic unity4 --,,matthew ,,arnold4 ,to some minds there is nothing more pathetic in human experience than the patient resignation with which average men and women accommodate themselves to the most disastrous and distorting of griefs and disappointments1 nothing more amazing than their power to endure4 ,if something of the brute nature is in us all1 it is not always and altogether the animalhood of greed or of ferocity1 but far more commonly the mute1 uncomprehending submission of sheep and oxen4 ,though the futility of revolt is so apparent1 the infrequency of it in human lives does not cease to surprise4 ,the modern ,rachel mourns for her children1 and will not be comforted1 but she goes about the streets in conventional mourning1 orders her house with decent regularity1 and probably1 in the end1 goes abroad for a time1 and returning1 enters with apparent cheerfulness into the social round4 ,the modern ,guelph or ,ghibelline1 banished from the political or intellectual activities which made life to him1 finds readily that raving against time and fate is no longer good form1 reads his daily paper with unabated interest1 and enjoys a good dinner with appetite unimpaired4 ,very probably the man's and the woman's heart is broken in each instance1 but what then8 ,life goes on1 and the resiliency of the mainspring in a well-adjusted piece of human mechanism may be usually guaranteed1 with safety1 to last a lifetime4 ,in a year after her marriage ,anna ,burgess was diligently at work along the conventional lines of activity of her day for religious young women at home1--writing missionary reports1 distributing literature1 collecting dues4 ,she saw nothing better to do4 ,her own private and innermost relation to ,god1 it was true1 had been dislocated1 but the heathen remained to be saved4 ,one morning1 ,keith being away from home1 ,anna came into ,madam ,burgess's sitting room1 her cheeks slightly flushed1 her eyes shining1 a letter in hand4 8,may ,i read you this80 she asked eagerly2 8,i have been invited to give an address at the foreign missionary conference next month in ,h----4 ,what if ,i could6 ,i should be so glad40 ,her eyes told the new and eager hope which this summons had stirred within her4 ,an added degree of frost settled upon her mother-in-law's face4 8,you can hardly mean1 ,anna10 she said1 8that you would be willing to speak in public80 8,but our missionaries do1 and sometimes others10 ,anna replied anxiously4 8,the case of missionaries is1 of course1 entirely exceptional2 and they should never be heard1 in my opinion1 before mixed audiences4 ,as for other women making spectacles of themselves1 it would seem to be enough to remind you1 ,anna1 of the words of the ,apostle ,paul on that subject4 ,you would hardly attempt1 ,i think1 to explain them away40 ,anna was silent4 8,a woman who has a noble ,christian husband1 my dear10 continued ,madam ,burgess1 more gently1 feeling her case now won1 8as you have1 who is already at work in this very field of labour1 has no occasion to leave the sacred shelter of her own home1 and lift up her voice and exhibit her person in public gatherings40 8,keith always said that ,i might still have a chance to do a little work in this way2 ,i am sure he approved10 and ,anna's low voice faltered1 her heart full just then of the memory of those first days of their common sorrow4 8,you have a very indulgent husband1 and it is not strange if1 in the first fond days of your married life1 he may have unwisely yielded to some mistaken sense of duty on your part1 and apparently committed himself to a purpose which he would later realize to be impracticable4 ,understand me clearly1 my dear10 and the term of endearment sounded1 from ,madam ,burgess's lips1 as sharp as the point of an icicle1 8my son's wife can never1 without flying in the face of all her holiest obligations1 both to ,god and man1 present herself before an audience of people as a public speaker4 ,a woman who does this violates the very law of her being1 she ceases to be womanly1 ceases to be modest1 and loses all that feminine delicacy which is woman's chief ornament40 ,the finality of these remarks clearly perceived1 ,anna rose from her chair1 and left the room in silence4 ,she never returned to the subject1 but simply buried in her heart one more high hope of service4 ,this was the first time that ,anna's inexperience and young ardour had joined direct issue with ,madam ,burgess's social creed4 ,for a while everything had gone so smoothly that ,anna's first sense of disparity had been soothed to rest2 all things being new1 she had failed to see the full significance of certain limitations which hedged her in4 ,little by little she learned this1 and learned the inevitable submission4 ,she never appealed to ,keith from his mother1 controlled by a sense of the essential ugliness and vulgarity of a domestic situation in which the different elements are working and interworking at variance with each other4 ,furthermore1 she learned very soon that1 however sympathetic and gentle ,keith might show himself toward her1 he would1 in the end1 range himself on his mother's side of every question4 ,stratagem and indirection were alike alien to ,anna's nature and habit1 but she inevitably learned1 in process of time and experience1 to avoid leading ,madam ,burgess to a declaration of definite positions1 while she sought to enlist her husband's sympathies in her own undertakings before his mother was made acquainted with them4 ,any plan which was brought before her by her son was comparatively acceptable to the elder woman4 ,thus wisely ordering her goings as women learn to do1 ,anna succeeded in reaching a fair degree of independence and at the same time a harmonious outward order4 ,her sacrifices and disappointments1 the gradual paring down of her larger hopes and the dimming of her finer aspirations1 she kept to herself4 ,pierce ,everett1 the young artist who had spoken of ,anna's fitness for a model of a saint1 had carried out his purpose1 and had formally requested her to pose for him4 ,with the cordial approval of both ,madam ,burgess and ,keith1 ,anna had consented1 and late in the winter the sittings began in ,everett's studio1 which was in his father's house4 ,madam ,burgess brought ,anna to the house for the first sitting4 ,they were received by the mother of the artist1 an intimate friend of ,madam ,burgess1 and the older ladies then laughingly gave ,anna over into ,everett's hands while they enjoyed a discussion of certain benevolent committee matters4 ,in the studio a little talk ensued regarding the projected sittings1 and various considerations involved in them4 ,these matters understood1 ,anna said composedly3-- 8,i am ready1 ,mr4 ,everett1 if you will tell me just what you wish4 ,i do not even know for what ,i am to be painted40 8,and you will not object1 ,mrs4 ,burgess10 said ,everett1 quickly1 8if ,i do not tell you now8 ,it is in a character which could not1 ,i am sure1 displease you1 but ,i think it would be decidedly better that we should not discuss it1 and that you should have no definite thought of it4 ,is this satisfactory to you80 8,entirely so40 8,very well40 ,immediately upon this ,everett took his place at the easel and began a first rapid sketch of ,anna's head4 ,he was a slight fellow1 below the medium height1 with a delicate1 almost transparent face1 a red ,vandyke beard1 and large and brilliant brown eyes4 ,quick and nervous in speech and gesture1 he had the clear-cut precision of a man who knows both his means and his end4 ,anna thought him very interesting4 ,at the second sitting their talk chanced to turn upon the relation of the ideals of men and women to their practical lives1 and ,everett told ,anna the old story of ,carcassonne1 which was new to her4 ,the train of thought thus suggested soon absorbed her1 so that she forgot him and what he was doing4 ,the sacred hope of her own life1 yet unfulfilled1 still centring in the hope of her father1 the ever receding purpose of which she never spoke1 cast its powerful influence upon her4 ,for half an hour neither spoke4 ,then ,everett's friend1 ,professor ,ward1 came into the room in familiar fashion1 and the two men talked of many things4 ,when ,anna left ,nathan ,ward said1 looking over his friend's shoulder3-- 8,if you can keep that look1 you will make a great picture40 ,then he added1 8,but don't fail to get her hands4 ,they have the same expression40 ,after that it became an habitual thing for ,ward to drop into the studio at these sittings4 ,it never occurred to ,anna that her presence had anything to do with his coming4 ,she supposed he had always come4 ,he talked very little with her1 but she liked to listen to his talk with ,everett4 ,it was distinctly novel to her--light1 rambling1 touch-and-go1 and yet full of underlying thought and suggestion4 ,anna had known few men at best1 none of the order to which these two belonged1 men conversant with art and literature1 music and poetry1 and modern life on all its sides4 ,much that they said puzzled and perplexed her1 but she found an eager enjoyment in it4 ,then one day ,professor ,ward said to her1 apropos of ,shelley1 of whom they had been speaking3-- 8,you do not join in this discussion1 ,mrs4 ,burgess4 ,i am quite sure you could give us opinions much wiser than ours40 ,anna's colour deepened as she answered3-- 8,i have not read ,shelley in a great many years4 ,indeed1 ,i know nothing of literature40 ,there was a little silence2 ,anna hesitated1 half inclined to say a word in explanation of a fact which she plainly saw the two men found very surprising1 but finally1 finding the explanation too personal and too serious1 remained silent4 ,as she started to walk home from the ,everett's1 ,professor ,ward joined her1 asking to walk with her4 ,he was a man of forty1 with a wife and a flock of little children4 ,anna knew the family slightly1 but pleasantly4 8,mrs4 ,burgess10 the professor began1 as they walked down the quiet street1 8,i do not want to intrude or to be found inquisitive1 but ,i am so puzzled by what you said a little while ago that ,i really wish you felt inclined to enlighten me4 ,i know you never speak with the exaggeration and inaccuracy which is so much the habit of young ladies1 and so ,i accept what you said as to your ignorance of literature as sober truth4 ,but you are a well-educated woman4 ,how can it be80 ,anna was almost glad of a chance to explain4 ,she was facing many new questions in these days1 and she felt the need of light4 ,she answered therefore at once1 with frankness3-- 8,i deliberately gave up study on all these lines when ,i became a ,christian4 ,i supposed them to be contrary to the absolute consecration of my life to ,god40 ,professor ,ward looked perplexed4 8,you cannot understand10 ,anna said timidly4 8,i have felt since ,i have been in ,fulham as if the language of my religious life in those days would be an unknown tongue here4 ,i see that ,i am right4 ,to you1 ,professor ,ward1 ,i am sure such a sense of duty as ,i speak of is unintelligible1 but ,i can still say it was sincere4 ,and it was not an easy sacrifice to make1 for ,i had already grown fond of poetry1 and longed to know more in a way ,i could never express40 8,i see10 said her companion1 gravely2 8you felt that the study of the work of men like most of our poets1 whose religious positions were vague and not formulated according to our creeds1 was likely to act unfavourably upon your spiritual life and experience40 8,yes4 ,to divide my heart1 to dim my sense of a one1 single aim in life40 8,and that aim80 8,to serve ,god directly in every thought and word4 ,that1 and to try to save the souls of the lost40 ,professor ,ward had no key to the profound sadness with which ,anna spoke1 but he watched her face with earnest interest4 ,she spoke with the unconsciousness of absolute sincerity4 ,he was reflecting1 however1 on how much easier life might be if one could sustain1 undisturbed1 such bare simplicity of conception of human relations4 8,and so10 he said slowly1 8you were going to prune away every instinct1 every faculty of your nature which did not serve the immediate purpose of furthering what men call sometimes #8the cause of religion1' and know and feel and be one thing only80 ,anna bent her head in assent4 8,that is precisely what men and women do who seek monastic life40 ,anna looked up at ,professor ,ward in quick surprise and instinctive protest4 8,yes10 he said1 with emphasis1 8it was just as noble and just as cowardly1 just as weak and just as strong1 as the impulses which make monks and nuns4 ,it is what people do who are afraid of life1 who do not dare to encounter the whole of it1 who have not reached the highest faith in either ,god or man40 8,then you think such a resolution1 such a scheme of life1 produces weak natures1 not strong ones80 asked ,anna1 looking up with her honest1 steadfast gaze into his eyes4 8,i should say narrow natures1 and yet ,i fear ,i ought to say weak ones too4 ,mrs4 ,burgess1 do you not see yourself the weakness1 the narrowness1 of the position8 ,it is what might be called the department system of human life10 and ,professor ,ward1 with rapid gestures1 indicated the drawing of sharp lines4 8,it is as if you said to your ego1 your soul--yourself--whatever1--,go to now1 this department of your life is religious2 it sings hymns1 reads a collection of sacred writings at regular hours1 prays1 gives away money to build churches1 and performs various other exercises definitely stamped as godly4 ,this other department loves nature1 exults in beauty1 pours itself into poetic thought1 rejoices in music1 expresses itself in art3 but all this is secular1 pagan--all men may have this in common who have not accepted my particular conception of the divine nature and its dealings with men2 consequently all this is to be cut off--effaced1 fought with to the death4 ,am ,i right80 ,anna nodded1 her face very grave1 her breath quickened4 8,does that seem to you a reasonable or even a noble conception8 ,there was nobleness1 ,i grant you1 in the struggle1 just as there was in the fortitude of the ,spartans2 but who feels now a desire to imitate that sheer1 barbaric effacing of human feeling8 ,no1 no4 ,that day has passed4 ,we can begin to see life whole to-day2 we can see ,god in nature1 in poetry1 in beauty1 in ugliness even4 ,he is all and in all4 ,all things are ours and we are ,god's6 ,i wish ,i could make this clear to you40 8,you have1 in part10 said ,anna1 simply4 8,no way1 however tortuous1 by which men have groped after ,god can be indifferent to us1 if we have the right sense of humanity4 ,trust yourself1 ,mrs4 ,burgess2 trust the human heart throughout the ages4 ,believe me1 with all the drawbacks1 all the falls1 and all the blunders1 it has been an honest heart and is worthy of reverence and devout study4 #8,trust ,god3 see all1 nor be afraid4'0 8,i have seen only one side of life1 one conception of human nature40 8,that1 at least1 was a high and lofty one4 ,for stern heroism of thought1 commend me to that old ,new ,england ,calvinism in which ,i see you were nurtured4 ,it was fine2 ,i glory in it1 just as ,i glory in heroism everywhere1 builded up on however mistaken a foundation4 ,the worst of it1 however1 is that it completely deceives the human heart as to itself4 ,it is terrible in its power to mislead4 ,the elect are not as elect by half as they suppose4 ,calvin himself helped to burn ,servetus1 which was not really fine of him1 you know4 ,but ,i have said enough4 ,i hope ,i have not wounded you80 8,i do not think so10 said ,anna1 smiling faintly1 8but ,i am amazed beyond everything4 ,all that you say is so new40 ,they had reached ,professor ,ward's house1 which was very near that of ,madam ,burgess4 8,i wish you would come in a moment10 said ,ward1 very gently2 8you know my wife always likes to see you1 and ,i want to show you some books in which ,i think you would be interested40 ,without reply1 ,anna passed through the gate which he held open for her1 and they entered the house together4 ,mrs4 ,ward met them1 and they all went into the professor's study4 ,in a few moments ,anna was lost in the realm of books so long self-closed to her experience4 ,she sat at his desk1 and ,ward handed her and heaped about her rare and beautiful volumes until she became bewildered with the sense of intellectual richness and complexity4 ,she looked up at last1 as he bent over her1 turning the leaves of a beautiful old ,italian edition of ,dante's 8,commedia10 and1 with a smile beneath which her lips trembled1 she asked1 like a child3-- 8,tell me truly1 is all this for me1 righteously1 safely80 8,did ,i not tell you80 he asked gently4 8#8,all things are yours1 and you are ,christ's1 and ,christ is ,god's4'0 ,with that day ,anna returned to the long-sealed books of her father's love and her own4 ,she read and studied under ,professor ,ward's guidance and direction1 steadily and with eager delight4 ,she did this with no further misgiving or doubt4 ,he had succeeded in satisfying her conscience1 and she moved joyfully along the clear lines of her inherited intellectual choice4 ,as for her father and the example of renunciation he had given her1 her heart was at rest4 ,that which was perfect being come for him1 was not that which had been in part done away8 ,,chapter ,,xviii ,are you the new person drawn toward me8 ,to begin with take warning1 ,i am surely far different from what you suppose2 ,do you suppose you will find in me your ideal8 ,do you think the friendship of me would be unalloyed satisfaction8 ,do you see no further than this faade1 this smooth and tolerant manner of me8 ,do you suppose yourself advancing on real ground toward a real heroic man8 ,have you no thought1 ,o dreamer1 that it may be all maya1 illusion8 --,,walt ,,whitman4 ,in her sittings in the studio of ,pierce ,everett1 ,anna had found from time to time numbers of an ,english magazine devoted to social reform4 ,some of these1 at ,everett's suggestion1 she had taken home with her and read with care4 ,coming to the studio one ,may afternoon1 for the work had been laid aside for a time for various reasons1 and only resumed with the spring1 ,anna laid down on a table three or four of these magazines with the remark3-- 8,i wish ,i knew who ,john ,gregory is40 ,everett glanced up quickly4 8,i mean the man who wrote those articles on the #8,social ,ideals of ,jesus1'0 added ,anna4 8,do you like them80 asked ,everett4 8,i do not know how to answer that question10 said ,anna1 musingly2 8perhaps you hardly can say you like what makes you thoroughly uncomfortable4 ,what he says of the immorality of a life of selfish ease appeals to me powerfully40 8,it is a great arraignment10 said ,everett1 working on in apparent absorbedness4 8,what stirs me so deeply10 continued ,anna1 8is that this writer not only says what ,i believe to be true1 but that he makes you feel a sense of power1 authority1 finality almost1 in the way he says it4 ,and by that1 you know1 ,i do not mean that he is authoritative or autocratic2 it is simply that he writes as one who sees1 who knows1 who has gone beyond the mists of doubt and has a clear vision40 8,you are quite right1 ,mrs4 ,burgess10 said ,everett1 quietly1 looking up from his work1 his eyes kindling with unwonted light4 8,john ,gregory is a man of his generation--a seer2 as you say1 one who sees4 ,he is my master4 ,you did not know1 perhaps1 that ,i am a socialist80 8,no10 ,anna said simply2 8,i do not even rightly know what a socialist is40 8,it is1 as far as my personal definition is concerned1--there are a dozen others1--a man who believes that the aim of individual and private gain and advantage1 to the ignoring of the interests of his fellow-men1 is immoral2 this1 whether it is the struggle for the man's salvation in a future life1 or his social or material advancement in this40 ,anna looked very sober4 ,in a moment of silence1 she was asking herself1 8,i wonder what becomes of people who are forced into lives of selfish inaction2 who have to live luxuriously when they don't want to2 who are obliged to go in carriages when they far prefer walking2 and who find their hands tied whenever they seek any line of effort not absolutely conventional80 ,looking up then with a sudden smile1 she exclaimed1 8,i should like to ask this ,mr4 ,gregory a few questions60 8,perhaps you may be able to some time4 ,he is in this country now1 and he is so good as to honour me with his personal friendship4 ,however1 he passes like night from land to land2 one can never count upon his coming1 or plan for his staying an hour4 ,but if ,i can bring it about1 ,mrs4 ,burgess1 you shall meet some time40 8,thank you4 ,what is he8 ,a clergyman1 a teacher1 or what80 8,you found something a little sermonic in his articles80 and ,everett smiled4 8,i believe he can never throw it off entirely4 ,he is an ,oxford man1 a scholar1 and a writer on sociology4 ,he is first and last and always1 however1 a ,christian in the purest and most practical sense40 8,that seemed to me unmistakable40 8,he used to be a preacher2 in fact1 he was for a number of years a famous evangelist in ,england1 and also in this country4 ,he was led into that work by a sense of obligation4 ,i should almost think you must have heard of his wonderful success4 ,john ,gregory--his name was in everybody's mouth a few years ago40 ,anna tried to recall some vague sense of association with the name1 which failed to declare itself plainly4 8,he was holding great revival meetings somewhere in ,new ,england1 simply sweeping everything before him2 all the great cities were seeking him1 you know his income could have been almost anything he would have made it4 ,all this ,i know1 but ,i never heard a word of it from ,gregory himself40 8,he is not doing this still80 8,i will tell you4 ,really to understand1 you must try to imagine something of the man's personality4 ,he has in the highest degree that indefinable quality which we usually call magnetism4 ,he has an almost irresistible personal influence with many people4 ,well1 on a certain night1 four or five years ago1 ,i should think1 during the course of a most successful meeting1 it suddenly became clear to him that he was bringing the people in that audience to a religious crisis1 and to a committal of themselves to a profession of a knowledge of ,god1 by doubtful means4 ,i cannot tell you the details1 ,i have forgotten them2 but ,i know that he went through something like agony in that meeting1 and that in saying the words #8,the ,spirit is here1' he had an overwhelming sense of presumption and even of blasphemy4 ,he did not know that the ,spirit was present4 ,he was not sure but the influence at work was the product of music1 of oratory1 of his own will and personality1 of the contagion of an excited crowd--in short1 was purely human4 ,if this were so1 what could the results be but confusion and dismay when the hour of reaction should come8 ,he was borne down by a sense of pity and remorse even for the coming spiritual doubts and struggles of the people who were at that hour placed almost helplessly in his hands1 and abruptly he left the place--hall1 whatever it was4 ,that night in his hotel he made no attempt to sleep1 but studied the situation1 its dangers1 its losses1 its benefits1 with the result that he never again held that order of revival meetings4 ,whatever good other men might do with the forces at work and put into their hands to wield at such crises1 for himself he was convinced that the human had usurped the divine1 and made of him1 not only an unauthorized experimenter with souls1 but a violator of their sacred rights1 albeit hitherto unconsciously to himself40 8,what has he been doing since80 8,studying4 ,he has gone deeply into social and religious problems1 has travelled largely1 has seen and talked with many of the most famous leaders of modern thought1 and ,i think he has now some large plans which are maturing slowly4 ,meanwhile he writes such things as you have read40 ,the following week ,anna was again in ,everett's studio4 ,this sitting1 he promised her as it drew to a close1 should be the last1 as he could finish the picture without her4 8,am ,i to see it now80 asked ,anna1 timidly4 8,not quite yet1 if you can be patient still after such long forbearance10 was the answer1 given with a bright but half-pleading smile4 8,i want you to like the thing if you can1 ,mrs4 ,burgess1 and ,i know my chances are better if you see it when the final touches are on40 8,very well4 ,i am not in a hurry40 ,when ,anna left the studio the sun was low and the room fast growing shadowy4 ,seeing how hard and intensely ,everett was working to use the last light of the day1 she insisted that he should not come down the three long flights of stairs with her4 ,the studio was at the top of the house4 ,they parted1 therefore1 with a brief1 cordial good-by1 and earnest thanks from the young artist1 whose admiration and reverence for his model had grown with every hour spent in her presence4 ,on the second flight of stairs ,anna encountered the housemaid coming up1 a tray with a card in her hand4 ,otherwise the house seemed strangely still and deserted that evening4 ,as she descended slowly from the broad landing of the main staircase1 where a window of stained glass threw a deep radiance from the western sky like a shaft of colour down into the dim hall below1 ,anna perceived that some one stood there1 waiting4 ,as she looked1 amazement and a strange1 deep joy took hold on her4 ,the man who stood with arms crossed upon his breast where the shaft of light fell full upon him in the gathering shadow was of heroic height and stature1 with a large leonine head1 grey hair thrown carelessly from his forehead1 strong features1 and eyes stern and grave in their fixed look straight before him as he stood4 ,it was not the first time that ,anna ,mallison had confronted this face4 ,twice in her girlhood she had seen it as she saw it now4 ,it was the face of her dream1 the dream which for years secretly dominated her inner life as a vision of human power and greatness touched with supernatural light4 ,even in later time1 in this year of her ,fulham life1 she had at intervals recalled that presence and influence distinctly1 and never without quickened pulses and mysterious longing4 ,and now she saw bodily before her the very shape and substance of her dream4 ,with her heart beating violently and her breath painfully quickened1 she proceeded down the stairs1 through the hall1 and so past the place where the stranger stood4 ,when she reached him he became aware of her presence for the first time4 ,throwing back his head slightly with the action of one surprised1 he met ,anna's eyes lifted with timid joy and dreamlike appeal to his face1 and smiled1 bending slightly as if in spiritual bestowment1 and shedding into her heart the inexplicable delight which she had known before only as the effluence of a dream4 ,neither spoke4 ,the house door opened and closed1 and ,anna hastened down the street alone under the pale1 clear sky1 with a sense that the greatest event of her life had befallen her1 but she knew not what it was4 ,as she went on her homeward way she seemed to herself to be palpably taken up and borne onward by a power beyond herself1 as of some rushing1 mighty 8wind of destiny40 ,she found her husband at home1 alone in the dusky library by an oppressive fire4 ,she wanted to tell him what had happened2 but when she sought to do this she found that nothing had happened2 there was nothing to tell unless she should seek to put into words that mysterious dream of her past1 and this she found impossible4 ,the dream was her own4 ,no one else could understand4 ,keith had returned from a long and tiresome journey in her absence1 and ,anna was filled with penitence that she had not been in the house to receive him and make him comfortable4 ,he looked worn and dispirited1 and complained of the weather1 which she had thought celestial1 but which prostrated his strength4 ,in her quiet1 skilful way she ministered to him1 hiding in her heart the deep happiness in which no one could share1 and as she bathed his head he caught her hand and kissed it4 8,oh1 my wife10 he said1 so low that she could hardly hear1 8you are too beautiful1 too wonderful for a miserable weakling of a man like me2 but how ,i love you1 ,anna6 ,tell me that ,i do not spoil your life40 ,,chapter ,,xix ,i am holy while ,i stand ,circumcrossed by thy pure hand2 ,but when that is gone again1 ,i1 as others1 am profane4 --,,robert ,,herrick4 ,john ,gregory stood in the studio with his friend1 the first greetings over4 8,may ,i look at your work80 he asked1 approaching ,everett's easel4 ,the younger man stood behind him with sensitive1 changing colour1 and something almost like trepidation in the expression of his face4 ,there was a certain quality of command in ,john ,gregory1 of which he was himself1 perhaps1 usually unconscious1 which produced in many minds a disproportionate anxiety to win his approval4 ,as he stood now before ,everett's easel1 however1 he was not the awe-inspiring figure of ,anna's dream1 or even of its sudden fulfilment1 but simply an ,english gentleman in his rough travelling tweeds1 a man of fifty or thereabout1 noticeable for his height and splendid proportion1 for a kind of rugged harmony of feature1 and for the peculiarly piercing quality of his glance4 ,his manner was characterized by repose which might have appeared stolidity had not the fire in his eyes denied the suggestion2 his voice was deep and full1 and he spoke with the roll and rhythm of accent common to educated ,englishmen4 ,the aspect of the man produced1 altogether1 an effect of almost careless freedom from form1 the sense that here was one who had to do with what was actual and imperative1 not with the adventitious and artificial2 in fine1 an essentially masculine and virile individuality1--a man born to lead1 not to follow4 ,beside him1 ,pierce ,everett1 with his delicate mobility of face and the slender grace of his frame1 looked boyish and even effeminate1 but there was nothing of superiority or patronage in ,gregory's bearing toward the young artist1 but rather a kind of affectionate comradery peculiarly winning1 and he entered into the study of the young man's work with cordial and sympathetic interest4 ,the canvas before them was not a large one2 the composition extremely simple2 the single figure it presented was set in against a background of cold1 low tones of yellow4 ,a crumbling tomb of hewn stone1 with tufts of dry grass growing in the crevices1 hoary with age1 stained with decay1 was set against a steep hillside of sterile limestone4 ,leaning upon a broken pillar of this tomb stood the figure of a young girl1 her hands dropped carelessly upon the rough stone before her1 her head lifted and encircled by a faint nimbus1 the eyes fixed in absorbed contemplation1 and yet with a child's passionless calm4 ,the outlines of the figure1 in white ,oriental dress1 were those of extreme youth1 undeveloped and severe1 the attitude had an unconscious childlike grace1 the expression of the face was that of awe and wonder1 with a curious mingling of joy and dread4 ,the subject1 easily guessed1 was the ,virgin in ,contemplation in early girlhood4 ,the picture was nearly finished1 only the detail of the foreground remained incomplete4 ,john ,gregory stood for some time in silence4 ,the face and figure before him possessed the expression of high1 spiritual quality common to the early ,florentines2 there was little of fleshly or earthly beauty1 but an aura of celestial purity1 of virginal innocence and devout aspiration1 was the more perceived4 8,you have painted1 like ,fra ,angelico1 ,everett1 with heaven in your heart40 ,gregory spoke at last4 ,the artist drew a long breath and turned away1 satisfied4 ,they both found chairs then1 and settled down for an hour of talk4 8,where could you find a model for such a conception8 ,it would be most difficult1 ,i should think1 in our self-conscious1 sophisticated1 modern life40 8,it was my model who created my picture10 replied ,everett4 8,mrs4 ,keith ,burgess is the lady's name4 ,seeing her at church1 when she came here a bride1 gave me my first thought of the thing40 ,gregory looked at him meditatively4 8,it is most remarkable that a woman who was married could have suggested your little ,mary there1 with that child's unconsciousness in her eyes1 that obviously virginal soul4 ,when a woman has loved a man1 she has another look40 ,everett was surprised at this comment from ,gregory1 who had never married1 and who was peculiarly silent and indifferent commonly when the subject of love or marriage was touched in conversation4 ,he answered presently3 8,when ,mrs4 ,burgess was married and came here1 she was in a sense a child4 ,she was thoughtful and serious beyond her years in religious concerns1 but quite undeveloped on all other lines1 and as inexperienced in the motives and energies of the modern world as a child--,i think one might have described her then as a very religious child40 8,has she changed greatly80 8,not so much1 and yet somewhat4 ,she has begun to read1 you see1 which she never had done except on certain scholastic and religious lines2 she has begun to think for herself somewhat1 and in a sense1 one could say1 she has begun to live40 ,john ,gregory did not reply1 but he said to himself that if she had begun to love she could not have furnished his friend with the inspiration and the model for just that picture4 ,he had come to ,fulham only for the evening1 being on his way to take a steamer from ,montreal back to ,england4 ,the two men had dinner together1 and then1 returning to the studio1 conversed long and earnestly4 ,gregory spoke freely but not fully of plans which absorbed him1 but which were not yet matured4 ,some theory of social coperation was in full possession of his mind1 and he had small consideration for things outside4 ,everett listened with serious attention to all that he said1 and when he rose to make ready for departure he remarked3-- 8,mr4 ,gregory1 when the time comes that you are ready to carry into execution any plan embodying this principle of brotherhood1 count on me1 if you think me worthy4 ,i am ready to follow you--anywhere40 ,gregory looked down upon the young man with his grave and winning smile4 8,thank you1 ,everett2 ,i shall remember4 ,but do you know1 my dear fellow1 ,i want to ask a tremendous favour of you now1 this very night80 8,say on10 returned the other4 ,gregory had crossed the room to the easel1 and now stood with a look intent on the picture of the young ,virgin4 8,it is a bold request1 but ,i want to buy this picture of you now--before you have a chance to touch it again4 ,who knows but you may spoil it8 ,it interests me unusually1 and ,i want to take it with me to ,england1--to do that it must go with me to-night4 ,i will pay you any price you have in mind4 ,i want it for a purpose1 ,everett40 8,what6 you mean that ,i should let it go to-night1 before ,i have finished it1 or shown it to ,mrs4 ,burgess herself even80 and ,everett looked almost aghast4 8,she has never seen it1 even once1 you know40 8,yes10 said the other1 looking fully into the artist's excited face with undisturbed quietness2 8that is exactly what ,i ask of you4 ,i will promise to return the painting to you at some future date if that should be your wish4 ,i shall be over here again in a year40 ,everett stood for a moment1 reflecting4 8,i am very fond of the picture10 he said slowly4 8,so am ,i10 said the other1 smiling4 ,everett glanced up1 and caught the smile1 and felt a strange control in it4 8,you will have to take it10 he said1 with a nervous laugh4 8,there is no other way40 8,then1 put a good price on it1 my boy10 said ,gregory1 with matter-of-fact brevity4 8,you will agree not to exhibit it anywhere1 publicly80 8,certainly4 ,i could not do that without ,mrs4 ,burgess's consent40 8,how ,i shall make my peace with her1 ,i am sure ,i cannot imagine10 murmured ,everett1 as he took the painting from its place1 and laid it on the table preparatory to packing it4 8,will you tell her1 please10 said ,gregory1 quite unmoved1 8that ,i wanted the picture1 and will agree to make good use of it80 ,a sudden clearing passed over ,everett's clouded face4 8,oh1 to be sure1 to be sure60 he cried2 8,mrs4 ,burgess has read your recent articles in the ,economist1 and she is quite enthusiastic over them4 ,it will be all right40 8,i am sure it will10 said ,john ,gregory4 ,he was thinking of ,anna's face as she had passed him in the hall below1 but he did not mention the fact that they had met to ,everett4 ,,chapter ,,xx ,that which has caused the miserable failure of all the efforts of natural religion is that its founders have not had the courage to lay hold upon the hearts of men1 consenting to no partition4 ,they have not understood the imperious desire for immolation which lies in the depths of every soul1 and souls have taken their revenge in not heeding those too lukewarm lovers4 --,life of ,st4 ,francis4 ,,sabatier4 ,to be content to have while others have not1 to be content to be right while others are bound and crushed with wrong1 to be content to be saved apart from the common life1 to seek heaven while our brothers are in hell1 is deepest perdition and not salvation2 it is the mark of ,cain in a new form4--,g4 ,d4 ,,herron4 ,in the few years which followed her early married life1 the cords of convention1 slender1 and strong as threads of silk1 were wound closer and closer about ,anna ,burgess outwardly4 ,as she grew older1 ,keith's mother grew more immovable in her social creed1 and ruled her family more rigidly4 ,anna might read and study1 but if she would please her mother-in-law1 it must be in the mildest of manners1 and on strictly suitable and ladylike lines2 religious biography was recommended1 while all literature which conveyed a touch of freedom in thought1 or a suggestion of a change in social conditions1 was viewed with horror4 ,anna might also be charitable1 but this too must be on strictly conventional lines4 ,there were numerous benevolent organizations upheld by ,fulham's fashionable women2 the name of ,mrs4 ,keith ,burgess might figure frequently on these1--to this there would be no opposition1 but individual and sporadic work among the poor was uniformly discouraged4 ,the family carriage was often sent into the slums of the city on errands of bestowal as from the wealthy to those 8less favoured10 but when ,anna would have liked the carriage to take her on social calls on equal terms1 in respectable but unfashionable regions1 she met with a cold disfavour and unyielding lack of compliance4 ,malvina ,loveland1 who had been married to the ,rev4 ,frank ,nichols1 not long after ,anna's marriage1 had come again within ,anna's horizon4 ,through ,keith's personal influence1 exerted at ,mr4 ,nichols's request1 a call had been extended to him to the pastorate of a church in ,fulham4 ,this church was not very large and not particularly prominent2 furthermore1 it was not in the 8right0 part of ,fulham geographically1 which was as distinctly limited as the social circle4 ,the ,nicholses1 delighted to come to ,fulham as a university town of some importance1 and to a church far more promising of obvious success than the mission enterprise in which they had worked in ,burlington1 innocently rented a cosey modern house on a pleasant street which1 had they but known it1 distinctly stamped them as socially ineligible from the day of their arrival4 ,mally1 dreaming of nothing of the kind1 entered upon what she expected to be a somewhat brilliant life socially1 into which she saw her husband and herself conducted easily and naturally by the ,keith ,burgesses4 ,anna had received her old friend with most affectionate cordiality1 and had spent days of hard work in helping her to order her house1 which1 as there was a baby and but one servant1 was not a small undertaking4 ,madam ,burgess had submitted with patience to the long absences and the preoccupation of her daughter-in-law thus involved1 and had even responded without demur to ,anna's timid request that they might have her old friends to dinner4 ,this dinner closed the ,nichols episode from the social point of view4 ,the guests were full of cheerful and unfeigned admiration1 eager to please1 easy to be pleased1 but their good will availed them nothing4 ,even ,anna could not fail now to perceive poor ,mally's inherent provincialness1 but had she been apparently to the manner born1 it would have made no difference with ,madam ,burgess4 ,the essential qualifications to entrance into her world being lacking1 her punctilious and attentive courtesy for the occasion simply covered the inevitable and absolute finality of it4 ,the ,nicholses themselves1 while by no means perceiving that the social career to which they had looked forward in ,fulham was ended with this visit instead of begun1 departed from the ,burgess mansion with a vague sense of chill which all ,anna's efforts could not counteract4 ,they were never invited there again4 ,madam ,burgess had done her duty by her son's wife's early friends1 and the incident1 as far as she was concerned1 was closed4 ,anna1 burning with a desire to make up to ,mally for the inevitable disappointment which she foresaw1 and hotly1 although silently1 resenting the social narrowness which excluded all men and women whose lives had not been run in the one fixed mould1 devoted herself personally to her old friend with double ardour4 ,more than this she could not do4 ,mally wondered1 as the months passed and they settled down to the undivided intercourse of their own obscure church and neighbourhood1 that ,anna made no attempt to introduce her into her own aristocratic circle4 ,over and over she bit back the question which would reach her lips1 8,why80 ,her heart fermented with bitterness and resentment1 and her husband was taxed to the utmost to subdue and sweeten the tumult of her wounded feeling4 ,another year brought ,mally another baby1 greatly to her own dissatisfaction4 ,poor ,anna1 the great passion of motherhood within her still baffled and unfulfilled1 poured out her soul upon mother and child in vicarious ecstasy1 and went home to lie awake for many nights with her ceaseless1 thwarted yearning for a child2 and thus these two women each longed passionately for what the other1 possessing1 found a burden rather than a joy4 ,as time went on1 ,anna1 bound to a certain outward course of life alien to her natural bent1 lived her own life just below the surface1 a life like a flame burning beneath ice4 ,all the master motives of her nature unapplied2 all the initial motives with which life had begun1 neutralized and made ineffective1 she reached1 five years of married life over1 the point which in any human development is one of danger1--the point when great personal forces are dammed up by barriers of external circumstance1 when the prime powers and passions are without adequate expression4 ,meanwhile ,keith ,burgess1 his young enthusiasms having lost their first freshness1 the limitations of physical weakness and suffering making themselves more and more felt1 settled into a narrow routine of life and thought4 ,as his physique gradually seemed to shrivel and his delicacy of form and feature to increase1 a resemblance to his mother1 scarcely observable in his younger manhood1 became at times striking4 ,his missionary activity passed from its original fresh ardour into a system of petty details1 increasingly formal and perfunctory1 even to ,anna's reluctant perception4 ,perhaps it was due to ,keith's protracted absences from home1 perhaps partly to his physical exhaustion1 which made him dull and unresponsive when with her1 but ,anna felt1 against her own will1 a growing divergence in thought and interest between them4 ,he was delicately sympathetic1 chivalrously attentive1 to her in all outward ways2 but when she longed with eager craving for his participation in the life of thought and purpose which was stirring the depths of her nature in secret1 she found scant response4 ,driven inward thus at every point1 ,anna's essential life centred itself more and more upon the new message of social brotherhood which she had found in the writings of ,john ,gregory2 and1 unconsciously to herself1 the ruling figure in her mind1 as the symbol of the human power and freedom for which she longed1 was his4 ,the 8counterfeit presentment0 of this man in her dream had ruled her girlish imagination2 and now his actual presence1 though but once encountered1 exercised an influence over her maturer life no less mysterious and no less profound4 ,to this influence fresh strength was given by the relation1 never-so-slight1 which existed between them by reason of ,gregory's possession of the picture painted by ,everett4 ,how she was represented was still all unknown to her1 still unasked2 but must it not be that1 owning this mysterious image of her face1 his thoughts would sometimes turn to her8 ,this thought stirred ,anna with a thrill1 half of joy1 half of fear4 ,an interruption in the routine of their ,fulham life occurred after ,keith had served the missionary society for a period of five years4 ,an illness which manifested1 as well as increased1 his physical inability to continue in his difficult duties brought ,keith and ,anna to a sudden course of action4 ,keith resigned his official position1 and1 as soon as he was able to travel1 they sailed for ,europe for a year's absence4 ,this was a year of rapid development and of abounding happiness to ,anna4 ,alone and unguarded in their life together for the first time since their marriage1 the husband and wife grew together in new sympathy1 and fed their spirits on the beauty and wonder of art and the majesty of nature in fond accord4 ,the fulness and richness and complexity of the working of the human spirit throughout the ages were revealed to ,anna2 the grandeur and purity of dedicated lives of creeds unlike and even hostile to her own opened her eyes to a new and broader view of human and divine relations4 ,reverence1 love1 and sympathy began to usurp the place of dogma1 division1 and exclusion in her mental energies4 ,she began to perceive that the righteous were not wholly righteous1 nor the wicked wholly wicked4 ,the old ground plan of the moral universe with which she had started in life looked now a mean and narrow thing4 ,larger hopes and a bolder faith awoke in her4 ,and so in mind1 and also in body1 ,anna grew joyously and freely2 even her attitudes and motions expressed a new harmony1 while suavity and grace of outline succeeded to the meagre and angular proportions of her youth4 ,the return to ,fulham came1 when it could no longer be postponed1 as an unwelcome period to their best year of life4 ,madam ,burgess received her children with affectionate1 albeit restrained1 cordiality1 and watched ,anna with keen eyes on which no change1 however slight1 was lost4 ,when mother and son were left alone on the night of the return1 as on the night when ,keith brought his wife home a bride1 ,madam ,burgess spoke plainly and directly of ,anna4 ,she had never discussed her characteristics from that night until the present1 but she felt that another epoch was reached1 and a few remarks would be appropriate4 8,my son10 she said1 8do you remember the night when you brought ,anna home to this house as a bride80 8,perfectly1 mother40 8,so do ,i4 ,i have been going back continually in thought to-night to that time4 ,without undue partiality1 ,keith1 ,i think we are justified in a little self-congratulation4 ,anna has developed slowly1 but she has now reached the first and best bloom of her maturity4 ,you brought her here a shy1 angular1 country-bred1 undeveloped girl1 although ,i will not deny that she had distinction1 even then2 to-night you bring her again not only a distingu but a beautiful woman1--yes1 ,keith1 ,i really mean it1--a beautiful woman1 and with a certain charm about her which makes her capable of being a social leader1 if she chooses to exert her power4 ,i understand she has purchased some good gowns in ,paris4 ,i have about concluded to give a reception next month in honour of your return1 if my health permits40 ,the reception1 which ,madam ,burgess's health was favoured to permit1 proved to be as brilliant an event as social conditions in ,fulham rendered possible4 ,the fine old house was radiant with flowers and wax-lights1 and the company which was gathered was the most distinguished which the little city could muster4 ,in the midst of all the gay array stood ,keith and ,anna1--he with his small1 slight figure1 his scrupulously gentlemanly air1 his thin1 worn face and nervous manner2 she tall and stately1 with her characteristic repose illuminated by new springs of thought1 perception1 and feeling1 full of swift and radiant response to each newcomer's word1 overflowing with the first fresh joy of her awakened social instinct4 ,professor ,ward stood with ,pierce ,everett aside1 and1 watching ,anna1 said in a lowered voice3-- 8,mrs4 ,burgess is a woman now1 through and through4 ,would you know her for the girl whom ,keith brought here half a dozen years ago80 8,i could not find my little maiden ,mary in that queenly creature60 exclaimed ,everett4 8,no2 you were just in time with that mysterious disappearance of yours1 bad luck to you that you made way with it1 however you did60 8,it has taken her a good while to accept the world's standards and fit herself to the world's groove1 but ,madam ,burgess has been patient and diligent1 and ,i think she has succeeded at last10 said ,everett gravely2 8she will run along all right after this40 8,you think ,mrs4 ,keith will live to sustain the family traditions hereafter1 do you8 ,and ,keith1 what is to become of him8 ,he seems to have dropped off his missionary enthusiasm with singular facility40 8,precisely4 ,you will have to create a nice little chair for him in the university now1 to keep him in the correct line of his descent4 ,by and by1 you know1 he will have the estate to administer4 ,that will be something of an occupation40 8,then he probably will take to collecting things10 ,ward added1 8coins or autographs--0 8,oh1 come1 ,ward1 you're too bad10 laughed ,everett4 8,you don't know ,keith ,burgess as well as ,i do40 ,later in the evening ,anna was summoned from her guests to speak with some one who had called on an urgent matter which could not be put by until another time4 ,the fine hall1 as she passed along it1 was alive with lights1 fragrance1 music1 and airy gayety2 her own elastic step1 her exquisite dress1 her joyous excitement in the first taste of social triumph which the evening was bringing to her1 accorded well with the environment4 ,for the first time in her life1 ,anna had seen that she was beautiful2 had felt the potent charm of her own personality2 had found that she could draw to herself the homage and admiration of her social world4 ,these perceptions had not excited her unduly1 but they had given her a new sense of herself1 a strong exhilaration which expressed itself in the lustre of her eyes1 the brightness of every tone and tint of her face1 in the way she held her head1 in the clear1 thrilling cadence of her voice4 ,once again1 after long dimness and confusion1 life seemed about to declare itself to her1 and the energies of her nature to find a free channel4 ,at last she might move in the line of least resistance1 and fill the place she was expected to fill1 without further conflict or question4 ,it looked a pleasant path that night1 and submission a sweet and gracious thing4 ,with a half smile still on her lips1 and the spirit of the hour full upon her1 ,anna came to the house door and opened it upon the outer vestibule1 where she had been told the messenger would await her4 ,the man who stood there was ,john ,gregory4 ,anna softly closed the door behind her1 and looked up into his face4 ,it wore a different aspect from that which she remembered1 for it was stern and unsmiling1 and more deeply grave and worn than she had seen it4 ,but even more than before the person of the man seemed to overawe her with a sense of power and command4 8,do you remember me1 ,mrs4 ,burgess80 he asked simply4 8,yes40 8,and ,i know you through my friend1 through the picture he painted once of you4 ,you must pardon my intruding upon you to-night4 ,i could not do otherwise4 ,i have a message for you1 and ,i am here only for to-night40 ,anna did not speak1 but her eyes were fixed upon his in earnest question1 as if in some mysterious way he held destiny in his hands4 8,no man could paint that picture from you now10 he proceeded slowly1 gently1 and yet with a kind of unflinching severity2 8you had the vision then4 ,you have lost it now4 ,you saw ,god once4 ,to-night you see the world4 ,once your heart ached for the sorrows of others2 now it thrills with your own joys4 ,you have given up great purposes1 and are accepting small ones4 ,i have been sent to say to you3 keep the word of the kingdom and patience of ,christ steadfast to the end1 and hold that fast which was given that no man take your crown40 ,these words1 spoken with the solemnity of a prophetic admonition1 pierced ,anna's consciousness4 ,a faint cry1 as if in remonstrance1 broke from her lips1 but already ,gregory had turned1 and before she could speak she found herself alone4 ,with strong control ,anna returned1 and mingled with her guests without perceptible change of manner4 ,when1 however1 the last carriage had rolled down the street1 and the house itself was dark and still1 she escaped alone to her own room to live over and over again that strange summons and challenge of ,john ,gregory4 ,now the sense of what he had said roused her to burning indignation and protest1 and again to contrition4 ,she knew that she was blameless and approved if tried by the standards of the people now about her1 and they were the irreproachable1 church-going people of ,fulham4 ,she was simply conforming to the demands of an orderly and balanced social life1 and pleasing those most interested in her4 ,but she also knew that1 as tried by the standards of her father1 and her own early convictions1 in the social and intellectual ambitions which now animated her1 she was learning to love 8the world and the things of the world10 to know 8the lust of the flesh1 and the lust of the eyes1 and the pride of life40 ,the voice of her past spoke clearly through the voice of ,john ,gregory and must be heard4 ,the things which she had thought to put away forever in the solemn dedication of her girlhood had gradually returned1 and silently established themselves in her life in the guise of duties1 necessities1 conformities to the wishes of others4 ,but of late she had come to regard those early scruples almost as superstitious4 ,where lay the absolute right--the truth8 the will of ,god concerning her8 ,why was life so hard8 ,why was it impossible to even know the good8 ,what right had ,john ,gregory to spoil1 as he had spoiled1 this latest development of life for her1 and give her nothing in its place8 ,she resented his interference1 and yet felt that she should inevitably yield herself to its influence4 ,,chapter ,,xxi ,my thwarted woman-thoughts have inward turned1 ,and that vain milk like acid in me eats4 ,have ,i not in my thought trained little feet ,to venture1 and taught little lips to move ,until they shaped the wonder of a word8 ,i am long practised4 ,o those children1 mine6 ,mine1 doubly mine3 and yet ,i cannot touch them1 ,i cannot see them1 hear them--,does great ,god ,expect ,i shall clasp air and kiss the wind ,for ever8 ,and the budding cometh on1 ,the burgeoning1 the cruel flowering3 ,at night the quickening splash of rain1 at dawn ,that muffled call of birds how like to babes2 ,and ,i amid these sights and sounds must starve-- ,i1 with so much to give1 perish of thrift6 ,omitted by his casual dew6 --,,stephen ,,phillips4 ,the next morning ,anna was sent for to go to ,mrs4 ,nichols1 whom she had hardly seen since her return from ,europe4 ,she found her sitting in her nursery with her two little children playing about her feet4 ,she was near her third confinement1 and in the shadow of her imminent peril and the heavy repose laid upon body and spirit by her condition there was an indescribable dignity about her which ,anna had never felt until now4 ,before she left1 ,mally1 with wistful eyes1 looked up to her1 and said1 timidly3-- 8,anna1 you love little children4 ,no one that ,i ever saw takes mine in her arms as you do--not even ,i who am their mother40 8,oh1 ,mally60 ,anna cried1 sharp tears piercing their way4 8,if that is true1 it must be because my heart never stops aching for a child of my own4 ,i know now that we shall never have children1 and ,i try to be reconciled2 but you can never know1 dear1 how ,i envy you40 8,do not envy me10 ,mally answered1 her lips trembling4 8,you do not know what it means to sit here to-day and see the shining of the sun on the children's hair1 and touch their little heads with my hand1 and smell those roses you brought1 and yet think that to-morrow at this time ,i may be gone beyond breath1 sight1 the sun1 the children--0 8,dear1 don't1 don't10 ,anna pleaded2 8you must not think so4 ,you have been helped through safely before2 you will be again4 ,people always have these times of dread40 ,mally shook her head1 but answered quietly3-- 8,i have never felt before like this1 but only ,god knows4 ,but this is why ,i sent for you3 ,if my little baby lives1 and is a perfect child1 and ,i am taken away1 would you1 ,anna1 do you think you could--take my baby for your own1 for always80 8,oh1 if ,i could60 and all ,anna's heart went out in the cry1 and ,mally saw the love which shone in her eyes and wondered at her strange beauty4 8,i am sure you will come through safely as you have before10 she said1 8but this ,i promise you1 ,mally10 taking her friend's hand and holding it fast1 8if you should be taken from your children1 and they will let me1--,i mean if my husband and his mother should consent1 for ,i am not quite free1 you see1--,i will take your little baby and it shall be my very own1 and ,i will be its mother while we both live1 ,god helping me40 ,a look of deep joy and relief in ,mally's poor pale face was full response1 and the two parted with a sense of a deeper union of spirit than they had ever known before4 ,early on the following morning1 after a wakeful and anxious night1 ,anna hastened to the ,nicholses' home4 ,mally's husband met her with a stricken face1 for a swift and sudden blow had fallen2 her trial had come and his wife had died1 hardly an hour before4 ,there had been no time to send for ,anna1 although ,mally had spoken her name almost at the last4 ,they stood together in the poor1 gay little parlour which ,mally had adorned with high hopes of the abundant life into which she fancied herself entering1--the young husband with his grief-wrung1 ashy face1 ,anna with her heart melted in sorrow and compassion4 ,while neither could speak for their tears1 the faint wail of a little child smote upon the silence from a room within4 8,the baby80 ,anna asked under her breath4 ,a deeper darkness seemed to settle upon ,nichols's face4 8,yes1 a boy4 ,a fine little fellow1 they say2 but ,i feel as if ,i could not look at him4 ,i have not seen him40 ,anna turned and left the room1 and in another moment1 in the dark inner room where she had sat with ,mally in the sunshine the day before1 she took ,mally's baby into her arms1 and bent her head above it with a great sense of motherhood breaking over her spirit like a wave from an infinite sea4 ,she stood and held the tiny creature for many moments1 alone and in silence1 while joy and sorrow1 life and death1 passed by her and revealed themselves4 ,then she laid the baby down and went up to the room where ,mally lay1 white and still1 with something of the beauty of her girlhood in her face1 and the great added majesty of motherhood and death4 ,on her knees ,anna bent over the unanswering hand which yesterday she had seen laid warmly on the fair curls of her little children1 and1 in the hush and awe of the place1 spoke again her solemn promise of yesterday4 ,after that she came down to the children and their father1 and took quietly into her own hands the many cares which the day had brought4 ,it was late in the evening when ,anna1 exhausted and unnerved1 returned home4 ,she found ,keith and his mother waiting for her in the library1--,keith hastening to welcome her with tender sympathy1 ,madam ,burgess a shade colder than usual beneath a surface of suitable phrases of solicitude and condolence4 ,she had been absolutely indifferent to ,mrs4 ,nichols in life1 and did not find her deeply interesting even in death4 ,furthermore1 she always resented ,anna's spending herself upon that family1 and in the present affliction she felt that flowers and a ten-minute call would have answered every demand4 ,if ,anna had been steadier and less under the influence of the piteous desolation of the home she had left1 less absorbed in her own ardent purpose1 she would have realized that this was not the time or place in which to make that purpose known4 ,if she had waited1 if she had talked with her husband alone1 the future of all their lives might have taken a different shape4 ,but with the one controlling thought in her mind1 forgetting how impossible it was for these two1 not highly gifted with imaginative sympathy1 to enter into her own deep emotion1 she spoke at once of ,mally's request that in the event of her death she should take her baby2 of her own conditional promise1 and of her deep desire to fulfil it4 ,there was a little silence1 chill and bleak1 and then ,keith said1 in a half-soothing tone as if she had been an excited child1 hurrying in with a manifestly impossible petition3-- 8,it was a very sweet and generous wish on your part1 ,anna2 so like you1 dear40 ,anna looked at him in silence1 her lips parted4 ,madam ,burgess gave a dry cough1 and partook of a troche from a small silver box which she carried in a lace-trimmed bag4 8,yes1 as ,keith says1 my dear1 it was a kind impulse on your part1 but it certainly was a very singular action on that of your friend4 ,she was probably too ill1 poor thing1 at the time to realize just what she was asking4 ,i have no doubt you were quite excusable for giving her some sort of a conditional promise1 considering all the circumstances4 ,but you need have no sense of responsibility in the matter2 infants left like that never live4 ,it will only be a question of a few weeks' care for any one40 ,anna turned her eyes from her mother-in-law back to her husband in mute amazement and appeal4 ,they could not mean to deny her this sacred right6 ,it was impossible4 ,and yet a sudden sense of the incongruity of poor ,mally's baby in that house smote sharply upon her for the first time4 8,if it had been ,god's will that we should have had children of our own1 ,anna10 said ,keith1 in answer to her look1 8we should have learned to fit ourselves to the many cares and responsibilities involved1 ,i do not doubt1 as others do2 but it is very different to go out of our way to assume such cares1 not ours in any legitimate sense4 ,i think the question is more serious than you realize in the very natural and proper emotion which you are passing through in the death of your friend4 ,we certainly could not ask mother to take this strange child1 and all that would be involved in such a relation1 into her house2 and we are1 ,i am sure1 as little prepared to leave mother and break up our natural order of life10 and ,keith smiled with kind conviction into ,anna's face4 ,she rose slowly and stood with eyes fixed before her1 and a strange light was in them1 which her husband had never seen before4 8,that is all perfectly true1 ,keith10 said ,madam ,burgess1 as if to finish up the case against poor ,anna2 8and even if all this were not so1 there would remain one insuperable obstacle to adopting this infant--an absolutely insuperable obstacle40 8,what is it80 asked ,anna1 very low4 8,blood1 my dear4 ,i believe in blood1 and never1 with his mother's consent or approval1 could my son give his name1 and all that that means1 to a child of alien stock4 ,never40 ,and ,madam ,burgess closed her lips firmly and folded her hands peacefully upon her grey silk gown with the consciousness of occupying a perfectly unassailable position4 ,anna moved toward the door1 a curious effect in her step and bearing as of one physically wounded1 her head drooped slightly as if in submission1 her eyes downcast4 ,when she reached the door1 however1 a swift change passed over her2 a sudden energy and power awoke in her1 and she turned1 and1 looking back at mother and son1 her eyes flashing light1 and a smile they had never seen before upon her lips1 said quietly1 but with slow emphasis3-- 8,you have decided this matter4 ,you have each other2 you are satisfied4 ,i shall submit1 as you know4 ,once more you have taken my life--its most sacred promise and its highest purpose--out of my hands4 ,this time another life1 too1 is involved4 ,one thing only you must let me say1 ,i wonder how you dare60 ,facing them for an instant in silence1 she turned1 and went alone to her room4 ,,chapter ,,xxii ,one by one thou dost gather the scattered families out of the earthly light into the heavenly glory1 from the distractions and strife and weariness of time to the peace of eternity4 ,we thank thee for the labours and the joys of these mortal years4 ,we thank thee for our deep sense of the mysteries that lie beyond our dust4--,,rufus ,,ellis4 ,by ,thy ,rod and ,thy ,staff comfort us4 --,,christina ,,rossetti4 ,two days later1 in response to a note from ,pierce ,everett1 ,anna went to the studio4 ,he wrote that ,john ,gregory had passed through ,fulham and had left the picture1 in which she might still feel some lingering interest4 ,anna left ,keith and his mother diligently occupied in their daily task of arranging and copying ,keith's ,european letters and journals1 interspersing them with careful and copious notes from ,baedeker4 ,from this laborious undertaking1 which absorbed mother and son in mutual and sympathetic devotion1 ,anna was self-excluded1 simply because she found the letters of merely passing interest1 but not of marked or lasting value and concern4 ,madam ,burgess confessed that she could think of no occupation more graceful or becoming a young wife than this of putting in permanent form the beautiful and instructive correspondence of her beloved husband1 and she found a new cause for disapproval in ,anna's indifference to the work4 ,in her own heart ,anna hid a great protest against the substitution of puerile and unproductive work like this1 for the serious altruistic endeavour to which she still felt that she and ,keith were both inwardly pledged4 ,but this was an old issue1 and one1 indeed1 to-day almost forgotten before her passionate grief concerning ,mally1 buried yesterday1 and the promise to her which might not be fulfilled4 ,the pitiful cry of ,mally's baby seemed to sound continually in her ears4 ,but another1 even deeper1 consciousness was that of the condemnation1 brief1 sharp1 conclusive1 of herself by ,john ,gregory4 ,she believed now that his judgment of her and of the line along which she was developing was in a measure just--but what then8 ,it had suddenly become definitely declared in ,anna's thought1 with no further shading or disguise1 that a life of worldly ease1 of self and sense-pleasing1 of fashionable charity and conventional religion and of intellectual stagnation1 was the only life which could be lived in harmony with the spirit of her home4 ,her soul lay that day in the calm which often falls upon strong natures when profound passions and powers are gathering in upheaval just below the surface4 ,to conform1 or to revolt1 or to lead the wretched life of spiritual discord which seeks to avoid alike conformity and freedom1 were the hard alternatives before ,anna1 as she thought1 that day4 ,pierce ,everett1 meeting her at the door of his studio1 was startled by the pallor and sadness of her face1 like that of her earlier years1 but forebore to question her4 ,he had expected to see her in the joyous bloom of his last view of her2 he had looked for her to fulfil his prophecy4 ,the light tone of badinage and compliment with which he had involuntarily started to receive her fell from him now as impossible1 seeing her face1 and in almost utter silence he led her across the room and pointed to the picture of the ,girlhood of ,mary4 ,after a few moments ,anna said simply1 without turning to ,everett1 her eyes still on the picture3-- 8,did ,i once look like that80 8,yes40 8,mr4 ,gregory said no one could paint this from me now10 ,anna said slowly1 as if to herself1 not knowing that tears were falling down her cheeks4 8,you are older1 that is all10 said ,everett1 gently4 8,no1 that is not all4 ,i have lost something which ,i had then40 8,we all lose something with our child-soul1 ,mrs4 ,burgess10 cried ,everett1 earnestly2 8but you have gained more than you have lost4 ,john ,gregory was not fair to you to leave you with a word like that4 ,you were a child then2 now you are a woman4 ,that face in my picture is not the face of a ,madonna1 yet4 ,it did not seek to be1 but we do not blame it for that4 ,should we blame the ,mater ,dolorosa that she has no longer the face of a child80 8,thank you10 ,anna said humbly1 and held out her hand1 which the young man caught in his and held with reverence4 ,she left the studio hastily1 not daring to say more1 a childless mother of sorrows4 ,the very emptiness of her grief1 since no sweet substitution of motherhood could be granted her1 made it the more intolerable4 ,instinctively she went from the ,everett's straight across the city to the unfashionable new quarter and to the ,nicholses' home4 ,she found ,mally's baby properly cared for1 but coldly1 by hired and unloving hands1 and took it into her own arms with yearning motherliness and cried over it1 easing her heart and murmuring the tender nonsense1 the artless art which mothers always know1 but seldom women who have not known motherhood4 ,mr4 ,nichols came in and she told him1--leaving the baby that she might surely control herself1--that on account of ,madam ,burgess's feeble health it had been found impossible for her to carry out ,mally's wish and her own4 ,the disappointment of the poor fellow1 with his almost impossible burden and scanty income1 was evident2 but he rallied well1 and showed a simple dignity in the matter which made ,anna like him even better than she had before4 8,i shall watch over the baby1 you may depend1 and come as often as ,i can10 she said in leaving4 ,he thanked her1 and she made him promise to send for her without delay or hesitation if there were illness among the children or other emergency1 and so came away4 ,the frail little life1 unwarmed and unwelcomed by the love which had been bestowed on the other children1 seemed to feel itself in an alien air1 and failed from week to week4 ,anna spent every moment she could with the child1 and sought to cherish and shield the tiny1 flickering flame of life1 but in vain4 ,the baby lingered for a month1 and then1 on a bleak ,march evening1 ,anna was sent for1 to speed its spirit back into the unknown from which it had scarcely emerged4 ,she sat all night with the child upon her knees1 the young father asleep in the leaden sleep of unutterable weariness on a sofa in the room adjoining4 ,it is not given to a man to know the absolute annihilation of the body by love which makes the endurance of long night watches and the supreme skill in nursing the prerogative of women4 ,the nurse came and went at decent intervals with offers of help and of food1 but ,anna quietly declined both4 ,she knew that she was about to partake of the sacrament of death1 and she wished to receive it fasting1 and1 if it might be1 alone4 ,she knew that she only on earth loved the little child and longed to keep it1 and she meant that it should die in loving arms1 if they had been denied it for living4 ,in the slow hours which were yet too swift1 as she bent over the small pinched face1 brooding tenderly over the strange perfection of this miniature of humanity1 the delicately pencilled eyebrows1 the fine moulding of the forehead1 the exquisite ear with soft fair hair curling about it1 the little1 flower-like hands1 ,anna wondered1 as she never had thought to wonder before1 at the wastefulness of nature4 ,all this exquisite organism made perfect by months of silent upbuilding1 a life of full strength paid for its faint breath1 and then1 this too cut off before the dawn of consciousness6 ,harder to bear was the thought1 which would not leave her1 that if she could have taken the child for her own its life could have been saved4 ,a photograph of ,mally on the bedroom wall in her wedding-gown looked down upon her through the yellow gloom of the night lamp1 and the eyes seemed to ,anna full of sad upbraiding4 ,in bitterness of soul she groaned aloud3-- 8,oh1 ,mally1 ,mally1 ,i wanted to keep your baby1 but they would not let me6 ,he is going back to you1 dear4 ,oh1 if ,i knew that you were glad1 that you forgive me60 ,at the sound of her voice the child on her knees1 which had been asleep or in a stupor1 opened its eyes1 and lifted them to hers4 ,they were large blue eyes like ,mally's1 and for a moment their look was fixed upon her own1--a clear1 direct look1 and1 with a thrill of awe1 ,anna felt a conscious look4 ,the instant of that mutual glance with all of mystery1 of joy1 and of wonder which it held1 passed2 the waxen whiteness of the lids fell again1 but1 as it passed1 a sense of great peace fell upon ,anna's spirit4 ,the last look of that newborn soul1 pure and undefiled1 had searched her heart1 had found her love1 had shed the glory of its passing into her bruised and cabined spirit4 8,now go1 little child1 go to ,god and be at rest2 we have known each other1 and you are mine after all10 she whispered fondly1 her tears falling like spring rains upon white blossoms4 ,the dawn-light came into the room1 dimming the lamp-light with which it could not blend2 a tremor passed through the tiny frame1 the breath fluttered once or twice upon the lips1 and the baby died4 ,anna had called the father1 and he stood by1 watching in heavy oppression4 ,quietly1 with the great submission of spirit which death brings1 ,anna washed and dressed the little body1 putting on the garments of fairylike texture and proportion which she had seen ,mally making with warm1 dexterous fingers1 a few weeks before4 ,then1 having prayed1 she left the place and walked home alone through the silent streets1 with the consecration of the hour full upon her4 ,,chapter ,,xxiii ,he who professeth to believe in one ,almighty ,creator1 and in his ,son ,jesus ,christ1 and is yet more intent on the honours1 profits1 and friendships of the world than he is1 in singleness of heart1 to stand faithful to the ,christian religion1 is in the channel of idolatry2 while the ,gentile1 who1 notwithstanding some mistaken opinions1 is established in the true principle of virtue1 and humbly adores an ,almighty ,power1 may be of the number that fear ,god and work righteousness4--,,john ,,woolman4 ,a physician's carriage stood before the house when ,anna reached it1 and within there was a stir unusual for that early hour4 ,jane met her on the landing1 and answered her questions4 8,yes1 ma'am2 ,mrs4 ,burgess1 she was all right as far as ,i could see when ,i helped her get to bed1 but ,i hadn't got her light out when ,i heard her give a queer kind of groan1 and when ,i got to her1 her face was that twisted all to one side1 that it would make your heart ache to see her4 ,but that isn't so bad now2 you'd hardly notice it4 ,and she don't seem paralyzed2 she moves 'most any way40 8,then she is better80 8,well1 ma'am1 ,i don't know as you could say so much better4 ,the worst of it is1 her mind ain't right4 ,she looks sort of blank1 and when she talks it ain't natural1 but all confused like1 and it's hard1 poor lady1 for her to get anything out2 she talks thick and slow1 so different from herself40 ,a moment later ,anna saw ,keith1 and heard the verdict of the physician4 ,madam ,burgess had suffered a paralytic seizure of a somewhat unusual character4 ,he should watch the case with great interest4 ,there was evidently a small clot on the left side of the brain which affected the mental equilibrium1 and produced something like delirium4 ,the ultimate result could only be fatal1 and it was doubtful whether full consciousness would return before death4 ,that afternoon ,anna was permitted to go to her mother-in-law's bedside4 ,keith followed her1 full of eager hope that for her there might be the clear and unquestionable recognition which had thus far been denied him4 ,it was a strangely painful thing to ,anna to see the familiar figure of a woman so graceful1 so precise1 so secure in her high-bred self-possession1 so decided in her conscious self-direction1 prostrate1 dull1 lethargic2 to hear in place of the cold1 clear modulations of her voice a meaningless1 half-articulate muttering4 ,she stood for a moment beside the bed1 her heart sinking with the piteousness of the sight1 herself apparently unnoticed by the stricken woman4 ,at the foot of the bed ,keith1 standing1 cried out as if in uncontrollable pain3-- 8,mother1 do you see ,anna8 ,she wants to speak with you40 ,slowly his mother turned her eyes1 which had been fixed straight before her1 until they rested full upon ,anna in a curious1 disconcerting stare4 ,this continued in silence for some throbbing seconds1 and then1 with thick utterance and unaccented monotony of modulation1 she said1 very slowly3-- 8,if you had married differently you might have had children of your own40 ,this laboured sentence1 in its violent discordance with the filial tenderness and sympathy which alone filled the hearts of ,keith and ,anna at the moment1 smote them both as if with a harsh and incredible buffet4 ,anna turned away from the bed white and appalled1 and left the room at the motion of the nurse while ,keith1 bowing his head upon the bed-rail1 groaned aloud4 ,even in the moment their mother had fallen back into unintelligible confusion of speech4 ,to them both this sinister and unlooked-for expression revealed something of the weary ways in which the clouded mind was straying4 ,some haunting sense of remorse and accountability1 vaguely felt and deviously followed1 was torturing the dimness of mental twilight4 ,again and again during the days following1 ,anna1 sitting just outside the bedroom door1 heard the question reiterated in the harsh1 toneless voice3-- 8,did that baby die80 ,and always1 when answered1 there came the same response1 8,i said it would1 ,i said it would that night40 ,filled with pity and compunction as she recalled the severity of her own utterance in that interview1 the memory of which with the sick woman had plainly outlived all other1 ,anna went once more on the third night into the sick-room1 knelt by the bed1 and took the hand of the sufferer in both her own4 8,mother10 she said1 in a strong1 comforting voice1 8mother dear1 this is ,anna4 ,will you forgive me for my unkindness that night80 ,there was no reply4 8,dear mother10 ,anna went on1 with gentlest kindness1 8,i wanted to tell you that the little baby has gone to its own mother4 ,it is all right1 and ,i am satisfied40 ,there was a faint response as of relief and acquiescence4 ,then1 as ,anna still held the limp1 unresisting1 unresponding hand and looked tenderly in the grey1 changed face1 ,sarah ,burgess spoke once more4 ,broken and falteringly came the words3-- 8,i am 444 sorry 444 you have 444 no child10 and1 as she spoke1 large1 slow tears rolled down her face4 ,it was the first time in all their intercourse that she had opened her heart to ,anna in motherly pity4 ,perhaps she could not before1 the defences of pride and reserve were sunk too deep4 ,but the few words1 the tears1 the glimpse of a heart which1 whatever its hardness1 itself knew the passion of motherhood and could understand her pain1 broke down for the younger woman the last remaining barriers which had stood between these two who had lived together so coldly4 ,anna laid her head on the pillow and kissed the face of the dying woman again and again1 their tears mingling1 while pity and tenderness overflowed the coldness and all the silent resentments of the past4 ,two days later ,madam ,burgess died1 not having spoken again1 although she had plainly recognized ,keith and watched him with wistful eyes4 ,the burial and the various incidents connected with the close of a long life1 and one of social eminence1 over1 ,keith and ,anna turned back to the home1 now wholly their own1 and looked about them wondering what was in the future4 ,like all men and women of gentle will1 they blotted out1 at once and forever1 every impression of unworthiness or selfishness which their dead had ever made upon them4 ,they idealized her narrow character1 and loved her better than they ever had1 perhaps1 in life2 but underneath all this dutiful loyalty ,anna found in her own heart a recognition of great release1 and at times1 in spite of her will1 her pulses would bound and leap with the sense of new possibilities in life for them both4 ,just what these possibilities might be was by no means clear to ,anna1 nor how far ,keith would sympathize with her own vague but dominant desires for a return in some sort to the working motives which had swayed their earlier lives4 ,she was greatly encouraged by the response which she received to her timid approach to the subject of some slight changes in their outward method of life in favour of simpler and more democratic habits4 ,the horses and carriage and liveried servants had long been a source of distress to ,anna's conscience1 as marks of a privileged and separate class4 ,she had always avoided employing them as far as was possible4 ,she had never1 since she had begun reading the social essays of ,gregory1 driven in the family carriage without longing to apologize to every working man and woman whose glance rested upon her1 for a luxury which she felt to be in their eyes divisive1 while all the time her heart was crying out for brotherhood and burden-sharing with the lowliest and most oppressed among them4 ,somewhat to her surprise she found that ,keith was not without a similar consciousness1 any expression of which1 even to ,anna1 he had scrupulously avoided in his mother's lifetime4 ,finding herself met here1 and thus emboldened1 ,anna came to her husband one evening with a question which involved serious doubt and difficulty for her4 ,it was two months since the death of ,madam ,burgess1 and ,anna was to start the following morning for ,vermont for a visit of several weeks to her mother and ,lucia4 ,keith was too busy with the details of settling his mother's estate to accompany her1 but it had been planned that he should meet her in ,burlington on her return1 late in ,may1 and together with her make a visit1 long-promised and long-postponed1 at the ,ingrahams'1 whose friendship for them both had remained unchanged by the years4 ,and now the postman had brought ,anna a note from ,mrs4 ,ingraham which took her back strangely to her girlhood1 and to one ,march night when she had first received a like request from the same source4 ,this note asked her to come1 when she came for the promised visit1 prepared to give a missionary address at a meeting which would take place at that time in ,burlington4 ,anna handed the note to her husband1 and1 as he finished the perusal of it1 she said hesitatingly3-- 8,keith1 ,i don't know what to do40 8,why1 dear8 ,why not simply do as ,mrs4 ,ingraham asks8 ,you would like to1 would you not80 8,once ,i would have1 only too gladly10 and ,anna paused a moment1 recalling the opposition to which she had yielded so unwillingly in the time past4 ,that outward and forcible opposition was now wholly removed1 but another restraint1 subtle and subjective1 had gradually taken its place1 although ,anna had until now scarcely recognized the existence of it4 8,i am afraid1 if ,i tell you10 she resumed1 8you will be shocked and pained4 ,perhaps ,i cannot even put it into words1 and not overstate what is in my mind2 but the trouble is1 ,keith1 ,i am afraid ,i don't believe everything just as ,i used to40 ,keith ,burgess looked at her with his gentle smile4 8,go on10 he said quietly4 8,dear1 it is very strange10 and ,anna spoke with sudden impetuousness2 8but ,i suppose ,i have not really a right to speak for missions1 for ,i cannot1 any more1 believe that ,god will condemn to everlasting torment all the heathen who do not believe in a means of salvation of which they have never heard40 8,neither can ,i40 8,keith60 ,anna felt her breath almost taken away by this sudden admission of what1 in the seventies1 was rank heresy in strictly orthodox circles4 8,why have you never let me suspect such a change in your views8 ,has this had something to do with your giving up the secretaryship8 ,was it not then quite all your health8 ,oh1 ,keith1 if you knew how ,i have been troubled60 ,the tumult of ,anna's surprise broke out in this swift volley of questions1 for which she could not wait for answers4 8,how have you been troubled8 ,tell me that first1 ,anna40 ,anna's colour came and went4 ,it was not easy to speak1 but honesty and frankness were the law of speech with her4 ,very seriously she said3-- 8,it seemed so strange to me that you grew1 after the first few years1 into what often appeared a kind of official and perfunctory way of working--letting the details cover the great purposes4 ,it seemed little1 and different from what ,i had expected4 ,tables and figures and endless reports--it was all business1 and almost like other business40 ,keith ,burgess nodded gravely4 8,go on10 he said1 as before4 8,and then1 you see1 all at once you dropped it4 ,of course you had that illness1 and ,i could see how tiresome and troubling the work had come to be2 but ,i used to think--forgive me1 ,keith2 ,i hated myself that ,i did--that you dropped the whole missionary endeavour and purpose and point of view as easily as you might have dropped a coat that you had worn out--0 8,in short1 that it was all officialism40 8,yes1 even that--that it had come to be4 ,and you know how different it was at first1 when it was your only life40 8,yes1 ,anna10 and the delicate1 sensitive face of the man showed something of the profound pain which he could not speak2 8it has been a hard experience4 ,i have kept it to myself because ,i did not think it was fair to lay upon you the same burden of doubt and conflict4 ,i see how naturally you came to look upon the change in me as you have described4 ,perhaps your view is in a measure just1 too1 but ,i think not altogether40 8,tell me1 ,keith40 ,anna was waiting for him to go on with sympathetic eagerness4 8,it was simply that1 some way1 ,i hardly know how1--perhaps it was in part worldliness and selfishness1 but ,i think not altogether1--my views gradually have changed4 ,perhaps it was in the air1 perhaps ,i took it in unconsciously from what ,i read1 and from my deeper thought of ,god and his grace4 ,what ,i learned of the various forms of heathen religions influenced me somewhat1 and also observation of the workings of our own system in our own country even under most favouring conditions4 ,i cannot tell1 only ,i came definitely at last to the point where ,i could no longer go before the churches and plead with them to send their money to foreign missions to save the heathen from immediate eternal perdition and torment1 because they did not believe in the plan of salvation by a ,saviour of whom1 as you say1 they had never heard40 8,what did you do80 8,you see10 ,keith went on1 not noticing her question1 8according to our confession there is no salvation even in any ordinary knowledge of ,christ1 but only for the elect few who experience personal regeneration by conscious acceptance according to the line laid by such men as ,calvin and ,edwards4 ,now we know that judged by this test a very large percentage of any so-called ,christian community is doomed to eternal punishment1 and when you come to the heathen1 it grows unthinkable--do you see80 8,yes1 ,i feel40 8,i went very soon to ,dr4 ,durham1 and poured out a full confession of my #8unsoundness4'0 8,what did he say80 8,anna1 that was what settled me4 ,i almost think that if he had said1 #8,stop where you are1 and wait until you can see it differently1' ,i might have come back to my early convictions in some sort1 at least sufficiently to give me a motive for working on4 ,what he did say1 in his large1 hearty way1 was3 #8,oh1 my dear fellow1 there is nothing more common than such doubts and questions6 ,they naturally arise from time to time with us all4 ,probably not half the men who are at work in this cause actually believe literally in the common conception that the heathen who do not know of ,christ are all condemned4 ,oh1 no1 ,i ceased to hold any such opinion long ago4' #8,then why don't you say so openly8' ,i asked2 to which he replied impressively3 #8,don't you see1 ,burgess1 that if we told our change of views to the churches at large we should cut the very nerve of the missionary motive8 ,we may hold these slightly modified views on eschatology ourselves without detriment1 perhaps1 or danger1 although of course they must be held well in hand2 but if we should speak them out to the rank and file1 the result would be an instant falling off in the receipts of our treasury1 and the ,lord knows they are small enough and inadequate enough as it is4 ,the average man would reason1 if the heathen can be saved after all in some other way1 it is not necessary for me to deny myself in order to send them the gospel4 ,so keep still1 my dear ,burgess1 just keep your views to yourself as some of the rest of us do4 ,go right along as you have been doing1 and there will be no harm done4'0 8,keith1 dear ,dr4 ,durham did not know it1 but that is ,jesuitism60 exclaimed ,anna1 with flashing eyes4 8,i thought it was10 he replied quietly1 8and the result was ,i gave up my office1 partly on account of my health1 partly because ,i could not continue what would actually have been1 for me1 getting money under false pretences40 8,still1 ,keith1 it is not only to save the heathen from everlasting punishment that we want to send the gospel1 but to give them the present salvation from sin40 8,certainly4 ,there are other motives left4 ,i think they may be sufficient to energize our work far beyond what the ,gospel of ,fear could do1 but they are not at present the popular motives to which ,i am expected to appeal4 ,the future of the cause is not clear to me4 ,if ,durham is right1 and the nerve of missions will be cut when people cease to believe that the heathen are necessarily damned because they have not accepted ,christ1 why then ,i have little hope1 because it seems to me impossible for thinking people to hold this view much longer4 ,but ,i must admit that it is hard enough to get them to give money when they believe implicitly in the immediate and hopeless doom of every heathen soul departing to judgment40 8,keith1 they don't believe it6 ,nobody believes it6 ,it is monstrous4 ,if we really believed such things as practically taking place1 we should all lose our reason4 ,our only escape from insanity1 ,i believe1 is that1 while with our mouths and with our opinions we have declared such things1 in our hearts and in our deeper conviction we have denied them1 knowing that they would be treason to ,god4 ,what misleads us all1 ,keith1 ,i am beginning to believe1 is that we have felt bound to accept a system which theologians have worked out1 and which has involved a paring down of both ,god and man to make them fit into the narrow grooves they have assigned them in the hard logic of their formulas40 8,well1 let us make this question concrete2 illustrate it from life10 said ,keith1 leaning back languidly in his arm-chair4 8,how is it with yourself8 ,you have been taught1 and have believed until very recently1 this doctrine of universal condemnation of all heathen #8out of ,christ1' and now1 it seems1 you have begun to question it4 ,what is the effect on the missionary motive in your case8 ,would you feel as eager as ever to go as a missionary8 ,does the subject appeal to your conscience as powerfully as before80 ,anna looked at ,keith for a moment in thoughtful silence1 and then shook her head4 8,no40 8,you see ,dr4 ,durham was right10 said ,keith1 sadly4 8,if this is true of you1 who have all your life been pledged to this work1--and ,i admit that it is true of myself1--what can be expected of the careless crowd1 indifferent at best80 ,anna had been walking restlessly up and down the library4 ,now she came back to the heavy black oak table at which her husband was sitting1 sat down1 and1 resting her elbows on the table1 propped her chin in both hands1 and so sat silently for many moments4 ,then she began to speak1 but very slowly1 rather as if thinking aloud3-- 8,i have been accustomed1 and so have you1 all our lives1 to the stimulus1 the spur1 of a piercingly powerful motive1 the most powerful possible1 ,i should think4--,to save somebody from immediate death when the means of rescue is in your hands is a motive to which every human being must respond1 instinctively4 ,suppose this motive is shown to be1 in some degree at least1 based upon a misunderstanding1 and we find that we are asked to alleviate suffering instead of to save life1 why would it not be perfectly natural1 almost inevitable1 that at first there should be a reaction8 ,accustomed to the stronger stimulus1 just at first our motives and purposes would languish1 ,i think4 ,mine do4 ,i can't help owning it1 ,keith4 ,but ,i can imagine that deeper knowledge of ,god1 higher conceptions of human brotherhood1 of what they call the solidarity of the race--things like that--which ,i only dimly realize yet1 might renforce our poor wills1 and knit again the nerve if it has been cut4 ,don't you think so80 ,keith watched his wife as she sat thus speaking1 and a great tenderness was in his eyes4 8,you are a very wonderful woman1 ,anna10 he said2 8your thought always goes beyond mine40 ,she did not seem to hear what he said1 for she went on in the same musing tone3-- 8,in a way1 it seems to me1 sometimes1 as if every hope1 every purpose1 every controlling motive with which ,i started out in life1 had slipped away from me1 this of missionary work with the rest4 ,all that ,i thought ,i could do or become has been rendered impossible in one way or another1 and whatever capacity or force there is in me is unapplied4 ,i can't even be a comfortable society woman2 other people won't let me1 even if ,i can let myself1 and you know how ,i find it impossible to fit into conventional charities4 ,everywhere ,i seem to be superfluous1 out of harmony with my environment4 ,i thought once1 ,i was vain enough to think1 that ,god wanted me for some special service1--that he would give me a work for him and for his children2 but ,i am thirty years old now1 ,keith1 and what have ,i done80 8,you have been a dear wife and a faithful child1--a true ,christian woman1--is that not enough80 ,anna smiled wistfully4 8,it is not good for any one to simply be1 and bring nothing to pass4 ,but to-night ,i feel that whatever new wine life is to bring me will have to be put into new bottles4 ,the old motives and forces have spent themselves1 and the old hopes2 and the forms which held them1 have gone with them1 for me40 ,,book ,,iii ,,night ,o ,holiest ,truth6 how have ,i lied to thee6 ,i vow'd this day thy sacrifice to be2 ,but ,i am dim ere night4 ,surely ,i made my prayer1 and ,i did deem ,that ,i could keep in me thy morning beam1 ,immaculate and bright4 ,but my foot slipp'd2 and1 as ,i lay1 he came1 ,my gloomy foe1 and robb'd me of heaven's flame4 ,help thou my darkness1 ,lord1 till ,i am light4 --,,john ,,henry ,,newman4 ,,chapter ,,xxiv ,christianity has hitherto only partially1 feebly1 and waveringly taught its great doctrine4 ,christendom has not believed its own gospel4 ,forsaking the vital religion of ,jesus1 and of all the heroes and saints as impracticable1 men have put up with a sort of conventional ,christianity1 from which the great essential ideas of the ,golden ,rule and the real presence of ,god were dropped out4 --,c4 ,f4 ,,dole4 8,i have spoken for three nights in this place1 and for three nights you have heard me patiently4 ,i have not regarded the favour of any man1 but neither have ,i wished to bruise or wound4 ,and yet1 as ,i stand here now for the last time1 ,i must declare the whole truth as it has been given to me4 ,i have charged upon our present social and industrial conditions grave responsibility4 ,to-night ,i declare plainly that you who calmly accept and profit by them1 whether you know it or whether you know it not1 are rejecting ,jesus of ,nazareth and his kingdom40 ,the speaker was ,john ,gregory1 the place a large hall in the city of ,burlington1 crowded to its utmost with eager listeners1 for the theories which he proclaimed were new and startling in that day4 ,as in his earlier revival preaching1 so now1 ,gregory's utterance was attended with peculiar power4 ,there was this difference1 however1 between his relation to his audience now and in that other time3 then a familiar appeal was renforced1 even though involuntarily and unconsciously1 by the full weight of his personal and psychic influence2 now he relied wholly1 it appeared1 upon the dynamic of his message4 ,his manner was more impassioned than in that earlier time1 but less exciting4 ,keith and ,anna ,burgess1 from their places in the audience with ,mrs4 ,ingraham1 whose guests they were1 watched and listened with almost breathless intensity of interest4 ,they had not heard it on this wise before4 8,do you remember10 continued ,gregory1 with searching emphasis1 8that on a certain day the ,master said1 #8,verily ,i say unto you1 ,that a rich man shall hardly enter into the kingdom of heaven'8 ,do you remember how the twelve men who followed him were said to have been #8exceedingly amazed'8 ,from the fourth century1 when the ,church and the world formed their unhallowed union1 down to the present day1 men have continued to be #8exceedingly amazed' at a saying so inconvenient and so revolutionary1 and have set themselves to blunt its sharp edge or to explain it away altogether4 8,to-night ,i am here to say to you plainly1 ,this is a faithful saying1 worthy of all acceptation1 and woe unto him who seeks to take it away from the words of ,christ4 ,put with it1 if you will1 other like words from the lips of ,christ and his ,apostles1 rather than seek to abate the force of these4 ,but why are the rich condemned8 ,surely they are the most law-abiding1 most influential class in every community6 ,because the riches of the rich man are founded upon a lie6 ,this is the lie3 that a man has the right to build up his own prosperity and enjoyment upon the suffering and privation of his fellow-men4 8,ask yourselves1 men who listen to me now1 do ,i tell the truth8 8,you made your money in trade2 very well--is trade just8 ,could you1 under present conditions1 have made money1 had you dealt justly and loved mercy8 had you lived the truth1 shown the truth8 ,could your trade have prospered if you had followed the simplest rule of ,christ1 #8,do unto others as ye would have them do unto you8' 8,is not the very basis of your trade and of your gains that you force other men into failure1 dejection1 and poverty1 and rise upon the wreck of them8 ,well has it been said1 #8,a rich man's happiness is built up of a thousand poor men's sorrows4' 8,many men make their money in manufacture1 perhaps not largely so in this city2 but the conditions are familiar to us all4 ,very well1 is manufacture true to ,god1 true to men8 8,the profits1 we will say of a given manufacture1 were not great enough last year2 the owners had a large income1 but not as large as they wanted2 some of the rich stockholders grumbled4 ,what did they do8 ,they reduced the beggarly wages of the toilers in their iron prisons1 sent them home to their wives and children with less than sufficed to give them daily bread and shelter1 and they knew it4 ,they sent pure girls to the life of shame1 and honest men to the black refuge of despair4 ,thus they declared their dividend1 and their rich neighbours praised their business genius and pocketed their share of the gains complacently2 and the rich grew richer1 and the poor1 poorer4 ,this done1 they come before ,god with pious words2 they pass boxes in the churches to gather the widows' and the orphans' mites whose burdens they do not lift1 no1 not with one finger2 they build a hospital now and then2 they found a university1 and their names are exalted2 they sit in their homes with all their treasures of art1 of intellect1 and of refinement about them1 and thank the ,lord that they are not as other men are1 or even as that poor fellow they hear reeling1 profane and drunken1 down the street1 because no home is his1 no hope1 no ,god4 8,hear the words which ,god hath sworn by his holy prophets3 8#8,forasmuch1 therefore1 as your treading is upon the poor1 and ye take from him burdens of wheat2 ye have built houses of hewn stone1 but ye shall not dwell in them2 ye have planted pleasant vineyards1 but ye shall not drink wine of them4 8#8,for ,i know your manifold transgressions and your mighty sins2 they afflict the just1 they take a bribe1 and they turn aside the poor in the gate from their right4 8#8,woe to the ,city of ,blood6 8#8,woe unto them that join house to house1 that lay field to field1 till there be no place1 that they may be placed alone in the midst of the earth6 8#8,woe to them that are at ease in ,zion6444 that lie upon beds of ivory and stretch themselves upon their couches1 and eat the lambs out of the flock1 and the calves out of the midst of the stall1 that chant to the sound of the viol and invent to themselves instruments of music1 444 that drink wine in bowls and anoint themselves with the chief ointments2 but they are not grieved for the affliction of ,joseph6 8#8,woe to him that buildeth a town with blood1 and establisheth a city by iniquity6 8#8,neither their silver nor their gold shall be able to deliver them in the day of the ,lord's wrath4 8#8,for1 behold1 the ,lord said unto me1 ,what seest thou8 ,and ,i said1 ,a plumb-line4 ,then said the ,lord1 ,behold1 ,i will set a plumb-line in the midst of my people ,israel3 ,i will not again pass by them any more4 8#8,for judgment will ,i lay to the line and righteousness to the plumb-line3 and the hail shall sweep away the refuge of lies1 and the waters shall overflow the hiding-place4 8#8,for ye have said1 ,we have made a covenant with death1 and with hell are we at agreement2 we have made lies our refuge1 and under falsehood have we hid ourselves4 8#8,but your covenant with death shall be disannulled and your agreement with hell shall not stand4'0 ,as the speaker went on marshalling and massing with stern conviction the tremendous indictments and declarations of the ,hebrew prophets1 which the people before him had never heard thus definitely applied to their own social conditions1 the dramatic effect became irresistible4 ,a mighty blast of wind seemed to bow their heads1 and many trembled and grew pale4 ,suddenly ,john ,gregory1 whose whole face and figure had been rigid and set with the awe of what he spoke1 stepped out to the very edge of the platform1 and1 with a gesture of gentleness and reconcilement1 and a smile which relaxed the tense mood of his hearers1 cried3-- 8,but this is not all6 ,never did the prophets leave the people without a ray of hope--never did they withhold 8#8,belief in plan of ,god enclosed in time and space1 ,health1 peace1 salvation4' 8#8,is it a dream8 ,nay1 but the lack of it a dream1 ,and failing it life's love and wealth a dream1 ,and all the world a dream4'0 ,these words were spoken with no less conviction than those which had gone before1 but the change of voice1 of expression1 of attitude and gesture1 were those which only a master of oratory could have so swiftly effected4 ,the audience1 now wholly under his control1 felt a new thrill of comfort1 of hope1 even of exultation4 8,the ,spirit of ,god is brooding in the bosom of all this chaos1 and a new day dawns4 ,fear not1 but look within4 ,your own heart confesses the bond of brotherhood which unites you to all the race4 ,let your heart speak4 8,men everywhere see the new light1 and confess and deny not that it is the true light1 the light which lighteth every man coming into the world1 until sin and selfishness quench it4 8,the day is come when men shall no longer greedily seek their own salvation2 the straitened individualism of the fathers has had its day2 even the passion for personal perfection is refined selfishness from the new point of view4 ,many ,christian souls have been misled in the past by the mistaken idea of self-sacrifice and renunciation1 not for their results to humanity1 but for the perfecting of self1 a fruitless1 joyless1 ,christless thing4 ,the continual seeking for the safety here and hereafter of the individual--the man's own advantage1 what if spiritual8--held up always as his chief and noblest aim1 have resulted in ,christianity becoming a symbol for sublimated selfishness4 8,a greater1 nobler motive is ours to-day--no new gospel1 but a right reading of the old1 a deeper insight into his purpose who said1 #8,if any man serve me1 let him follow me4' 8,here may we1 at last1 and perhaps for the first time in long years of blind and baffled longing for the fellowship of ,christ our ,sacrifice1 learn the awful joy of dying in our own lives that so we may not live alone4 8,your soul cannot rise toward ,god1 my brother1 while you are treading down other souls beneath your feet4 ,cease the hopeless effort4 ,take the world's burden on your heart1 and you shall know ,christ4 ,refuse the joys which can only be for the few and the rich4 ,take nothing but what you can share4 ,learn poverty and simplicity and hardihood2 unlearn luxury1 exclusiveness1 epicureanism4 ,be pioneers in the new state1 apostles of the new-old gospel--the ,gospel of ,brotherhood1 of ,fellowship1 of ,sacrifice40 ,as ,anna ,mallison1 in her early girlhood1 had responded with swift1 unquestioning response to the simple appeal of the missionary1 and had offered herself unreservedly to the work of seeking lost souls in the heathen world1 so now1 in the maturity of her womanhood1 her inmost soul confessed that her hour had come4 ,the message of ,john ,gregory1 heard vaguely and partially before1 had now reached her fully1 and she found its claim upon her irresistible4 8,where this leads1 ,i follow10 a voice said in her heart2 8,i follow though ,i die6 ,it is for this ,i have waited40 ,turning1 she looked into her husband's face1 and their eyes met4 ,keith ,burgess read what he intuitively expected in the deep awe of ,anna's eyes2 while she read in his a sympathy and response1 real1 and yet strangely sad4 ,gregory had been about to leave the platform1 his address ended2 but the audience sat unmoving1 as if they would hear more4 ,a man rose up then1 in the middle of the hall1 and spoke4 8,mr4 ,gregory10 he said1 8some of the people are saying that1 having told us so much1 you ought to tell us more4 ,if it is true that you have some scheme or system by which people like us could live such a life as you describe1 we want to hear about it40 ,having so said1 he sat down4 ,john ,gregory turned about and came slowly back to his former place4 ,here he stood1 confronting the people with a gravely musing smile4 ,again1 as she saw him1 there swept over ,anna's memory the sense that this was the presence of her girlish dream1 and the old indefinable sense of joy in the power of this man was shed into her heart4 8,you want to hear me say something about ,fraternia1 ,i suppose10 said ,gregory1 slowly4 8,i am not here for that purpose4 ,i covet no man's silver or gold for my project1 let that be distinctly understood first of all4 ,fraternia has not had to beg for support1 thus far4 ,men and women who are like-minded with ourselves are welcome to join themselves to us4 ,no others need apply10 and he smiled a peculiar1 humorous smile of singular charm4 8,fraternia10 he continued1 8is an experiment4 ,it is only a year old4 ,is is what may be called a coperative colony1 ,i should think2 that is1 a little community of people who believe that no one ought to be idle and no one ought to overwork1 and accordingly all work a reasonable number of hours a day4 ,we also believe that an aristocratic1 privileged class is not a good thing1 not even a necessary evil1 but a mere gross product of human selfishness4 ,we have none1 accordingly1 in ,fraternia1 nor anything corresponding to it4 ,we are all on a precisely equal footing4 ,that bitterest and tightest of all class distinctions1 the aristocracy of money1 is unknown among us4 ,those who have joined us have thus far put their property into the common treasury1 and all fare alike4 ,we propose to work out this social problem on actual and practical lines4 ,we all work and all share alike in the results of our work4 8,you will ask what we do4 ,fraternia lies in a valley among the foothills of southwestern ,north ,carolina4 ,we raise all kinds of fruit1 some grain1 and some cotton4 ,we have water-power1 a mountain stream as beautiful as it is useful1 and so we have built a cotton mill4 ,we have made it as pretty as we could1 this mill1--better than any man's house1 since the house is for the individual1 and the mill for the use of all4 ,by the same token our church and our library are to be finer than our houses when we advance so far as to build them4 ,we have nothing costly or luxurious in ,fraternia1 but our mill is really very attractive4 ,we all like to work in it4 ,you know it is natural to like to work under human and decent conditions4 ,i believe no man ever liked absolute idleness4 ,it is overwork and work under hideous and unwholesome conditions against which men revolt4 8,in our personal and home life1 simplicity and hardihood are the key-notes4 ,no servants are employed1 for all serve4 ,our luxuries are the mountain laurel and pine1 the exquisite sky and air1 the voices of the forest1 the crystal clearness of the brook4 ,in these we all share4 ,so do we in the books and the few good pictures which we are so happy as to own2 in the best music we can muster and in the service of divine worship4 ,life is natural1 homely1 simple1 joyous4 ,its motive3 ,by love1 serve one another4 ,from no one is the privilege of service withheld4 ,thank ,god1 we have no forlorn leisure class4 8,our mission1 however1 is not to ourselves alone1 but to the world outside4 ,we are holding up1 by our daily living1 a constant object-lesson4 ,we are preaching coperation and social brotherhood louder than any voice can ever preach it1 and the small child and the simple girl can preach as well as the cultured woman and the strong man4 8,who are we8 ,we are mostly from ,england1 many from the slums of ,london1 others from its higher circles1 some ,germans and ,scandinavians1 and thus far not more than a dozen ,american families4 ,some of us had nothing to begin with1 and some had large property2 some were so unfortunate as to belong to the number of those who oppress the poor in mills and mines1 while others were simple peasants4 ,we have no difficulty in living happily together on the broad basis of a common human nature1 a common purpose1 and a common hope4 8,but there is another side to this adventure1 friends10 and ,gregory spoke with deeper seriousness4 8,fraternia is nothing unless it is builded on the immutable laws of ,god and of righteousness4 ,never1 never can we succeed if sin grows little to us and self large4 ,our message will be taken from us1 our arm will be paralyzed1 if the day shall ever come when the lust of gold1 the lust of power1 the lust of pride1 shall taint the free air of our high valley4 8,so then1 if any among you would join our ranks1 see that you shrive your souls and come to us seeking only the ,kingdom of ,god and his righteousness40 ,,chapter ,,xxv ,sin and hedgehogs are born without spikes1 but how they wound and prick after their birth we all know4 ,the most unhappy being is he who feels remorse before the deed1 and brings forth a sin already furnished with teeth in its birth1 the bite of which is soon prolonged into an incurable wound of conscience4 --,,richter4 ,on the steps of the rostrum1 as he descended them1 ,john ,gregory was met by a man of singular aspect1 a man who has been encountered by us before1 in the house of ,senator ,ingraham1--his son1 ,oliver4 ,as the two clergymen whom he had then addressed had been disturbed1 and even dismayed1 by this strange face and figure1 the smooth1 egglike face with its enormous forehead1 narrow eyes1 and wide1 thin-lipped mouth1 so now ,gregory drew back instinctively1 finding the singular apparition thus suddenly before him4 ,mr4 ,oliver ,ingraham did not appear to notice the movement1 but1 smiling his peculiarly complacent smile1 held out one long1 sinuous hand1 and as ,gregory took it1 not over eagerly1 he remarked in his high1 feminine voice3-- 8,i liked your line very much1 ,mr4 ,gregory4 ,nothing would suit me better than to see these rich men brought to book4 ,they'll get their come-uppance in the next world1 anyway2 but ,i sometimes get tired of waiting4 ,it would be a satisfaction to see ,dives1 ,esquire1 taking his torments here once in a while1 don't you think so80 and the malevolent leer with which the question was accompanied gave ,gregory a chill of disgust4 ,oliver held in his left hand a handsomely bound note-book and silver pencil-case which it was his custom to carry everywhere4 ,gregory1 now about to pass on1 and greet the crowds who were waiting to speak with him just below1 was again stopped4 8,just a moment1 ,mr4 ,gregory10 said the other1 slipping off the elastic1 and opening the note-book with the dexterity of constant habit2 8,i want you to help me a little in gathering some very valuable statistics4 ,it's rather in your line1 ,i take it4 ,i have been engaged in this work for several years1 and find it extremely interesting40 ,gregory noted the long1 white1 flexible fingers of the man1 and the look1 half of deficient intellect and half of cunning1 in his face4 8,please make haste1 ,mr4 ,ingraham10 he said shortly1 8there are others waiting40 8,i am making a computation10 ,oliver continued imperturbably1 8in fact1 a carefully tabulated record1 according to nations1 of the probable number of souls from each nation now in ,sheol--it is considered polite now to call it ,sheol1 ,i believe4 ,we used to say hell when we were boys1 didn't we1 ,mr4 ,gregory80 and ,oliver laughed his low1 cruel laugh4 8,excuse me10 exclaimed ,gregory1 impatiently2 8,i could not give you any information on that subject4 ,i have never been there4 ,allow me to pass on1 if you please40 ,oliver closed his book as if not unaccustomed to rebuffs2 but1 as ,gregory's forward movement obliged him to retreat down the steps1 he remarked slyly3-- 8,i had a message to you from the senator1 if you only weren't in such a hurry4 ,he is one of the fellows that will have to go to now1 weep and howl4 ,he has the shekels1 ,i can tell you6 ,what he wants of you is more than ,i can figure out4 ,i should suppose ,ahab would as soon have sent for ,elijah40 8,did your father send for me80 asked ,gregory1 surprised4 ,they were now at the foot of the steps1 and the crowd was gathering about them4 8,yes2 he would like to see you in his office on this same block1 next building1 as soon as you can get away from here4 ,you work him right1 and you can get something out of him for your ,utopia40 ,the last words were called back aloud with a series of confidential nods1 as ,oliver turned and plunged into the crowd1 who seemed to make a way for him with especial facility4 ,gregory saw him go with a keen sense of heat and discomfort4 ,half an hour later1 ,gregory found himself in the office of ,senator ,ingraham1 seated in a substantial office-chair by the well-appointed desk1 while ,mr4 ,ingraham1 himself in evident and most unusual mental disturbance1 walked up and down the room4 ,suddenly he wheeled1 and confronted ,gregory1 as if with sudden1 though difficult1 resolution4 8,mr4 ,gregory10 he said1 low1 and with the stern1 terse brevity of a man who finds himself forced to speak what he would rather leave unsaid1 8for over thirty years ,i have carried certain facts in my personal history shut up in my own memory4 ,not one other being1 to the best of my belief1 has shared my knowledge4 ,to-night1 ,i cannot tell how1 ,i do not know why1 ,i feel that ,i must break silence1 and before you--stranger as you are--unload my burden4 ,a strange compulsion seems upon me to disclose the things ,i have hitherto lived to conceal4 ,what there is in you or in what ,i have heard you say1 to bring me to this point1 ,i cannot understand2 but ,i feel in you something which makes you alone1 of all men ,i have ever met1 the one to whom ,i can speaks--and must4 ,are you willing to hear me80 ,john ,gregory noted the set1 hard lines in the lawyer's face1 the knotted cords in his hands1 and the tone1 half of defiance1 half of self-abasement1 with which he threw out this abrupt question4 ,accustomed to encounters with men in their innermost spiritual struggles1 ,gregory was in no way astonished or excited by this surprising beginning of their interview1 and simply nodded gravely in token that ,ingraham should proceed4 8,i will not affront you by demanding secrecy on your part10 the latter began haughtily2 8if it were possible for you to betray my confidence1 it would have been impossible for me to give it to you4 ,i understand men40 ,he paused4 ,gregory made no remark in confirmation of this assertion1 but the direct1 unflinching look with which he met the appeal in the eyes of the speaker was full guarantee of good faith4 ,there was promise of profound and sympathetic attention in ,gregory's look1 there was also judicial calmness and reserve2 in fine1 the characteristics of the priest and the judge were singularly united in him1 and it was to the perception of this fact that he owed the present interview4 8,i do not know whether ,i am a respectable citizen or a murderer10 ,ingraham now began1 turning again to walk the floor1 while an uncontrollable groan as of physical anguish accompanied this unexpected declaration4 8,imagine1 if you will1 what thirty years have been inwardly with this uncertainty as food for thought1 served to me by conscience1 or some fiend1 morning and night4 ,if ,i could have forgotten for one blessed day1 it has been ingeniously rendered impossible1 for sin in bodily form is ever before me4 ,you have seen my son40 ,with this sentence1 harsh and curt1 ,ingraham paused1 glanced aside at ,gregory1 who assented1 and then continued to walk and speak4 ,his voice and manner alike showed that he was holding himself in control by the effort of all his will4 ,strange distorting lines appeared in his face1 and there was heavy sweat on his forehead4 8,i was twenty-five years old when ,i was married1 and was alone in the world save for one brother1--,jim1 we always called him1--two years younger than ,i4 ,we had inherited a good name1 strong physique1 and some little property from our parents1 and started in life shoulder to shoulder4 ,in ,burlington1 where we first began business life together1 we became intimately acquainted with a family in which there were two daughters4 ,the elder1 ,cornelia1 was very pretty and singularly attractive4 ,men always fell in love with her4 ,i did1 desperately4 ,the younger sister was a commonplace1 uninteresting girl1 rather sentimental perhaps1 not otherwise remarkable4 8,i shall make this story as short as possible4 ,i offered myself to ,cornelia after long wooing1 and was refused4 ,i was bitterly wounded1 angry1 defiant4 ,while ,i was in that state of mind1 it became apparent to me that ,i was secretly an object of peculiar interest to the younger sister4 ,like many another fool1 half in spite and half in heart-sickness1 ,i sought her hand1 and was at once accepted1 and our marriage followed quickly4 ,within the year ,cornelia and ,jim became engaged4 ,there was a hard1 silent grudge against ,jim in my heart from the day ,i first suspected that it was he who had stood between ,cornelia and me1 and their engagement increased the grudge to hate4 8,we had1 before this1 put the whole of our inheritance into mining fields in what was then the far ,west1 buying up a large tract of land1 divided equally between us4 ,the year after my marriage we moved ,west for a time1 and ,i started out on a prospecting tour of our land2 ,jim to follow me when he had finished establishing a kind of business office in pioneer quarters1 in a small town as near the base of our operations as was feasible4 ,my wife remained in this town4 8,on horseback1 with two engineers and a copper expert and an ,indian guide1 ,i rode through our possessions4 ,miners were already at work1 and had pursued the lead far enough to prove pretty distinctly that1 while ,jim's part of the tract was likely to be fairly productive1 the vein stopped short of mine1 which was thus practically worthless4 8,i rode back to our camp in a black mood4 ,jim1 it seemed1 was to succeed in everything2 all that he sought was his1 and for me there was nothing but failure and defeat4 ,all the way back ,i brooded bitterly on the contrast between us1 until ,i was in a still frenzy of jealousy when ,i reached the camp4 ,the contrast between ,cornelia1 for whom ,i still had a wild1 hopeless passion1 and my wife1 sickly1 dull1 indeed disagreeable to me already1 was maddening1 and had been sufficiently so before4 ,but now1 when ,i thought of ,jim1 with ,cornelia for his wife and the certain prospect of large wealth to add to his elation1 while ,i was without a penny or a prospect of any sort1 the rage and fury in my mind became almost intoxicating4 8,we had encountered hostile ,indians on the trail as we returned1 but our bold1 dare-devil dash through this danger made slight impression on me4 ,i think death would have been welcome to me that night4 ,god knows ,i wish ,i had met it then4 ,my heart was evil enough1 but at least it had not the guilt that came later4 8,i suppose1 ,mr4 ,gregory1 that ,i am answerable for my brother's death--not in the eye of the law1 but before ,god4 ,and yet--if you could tell me that ,i am mistaken1 that ,i exaggerate1 that other men would have done the same and held themselves guiltless--if that could be--0 ,ingraham broke off and fixed his eyes on ,gregory's face once more1 as if in appeal for his life4 8,please go on10 was ,gregory's response1 but the words were gently spoken1 as the words of a physician when he is diagnosing a manifestly mortal disease4 8,very well10 said ,ingraham1 harshly4 8,jim was at the camp1 and was boy enough to parade a letter from ,cornelia before me4 ,we quarrelled fiercely1 about what ,i cannot remember1 but ,i could not restrain the storm of rage and jealousy in me4 ,it had to break loose somewhere4 ,i refused to tell ,jim what ,i had discovered regarding the lead1 and he declared he would go and find out for himself4 ,i said he would be a fool if he did1 but gave him no hint of the fact that there were hostile ,indians on the way4 ,he knew nothing of the conditions1 nor the character of the people about us1 having never been in the country before4 ,it was early in the morning4 ,we had ridden all night1 and the men had gone to their tents and were sleeping off the effects of our struggle4 ,i told ,jim he could not get a guide4 ,he merely whistled in a light-hearted1 careless way he had1 and started off to a neighbouring camp1 in search1 as ,i inferred1 of some escort4 ,i saw him no more1 and made no attempt to govern his actions1 and did not even know whether he had started4 ,who and what the guide was whom he obtained1 ,i learned later4 8,i slept most of that day1 after ,jim disappeared1 exhausted in body and mind1 and continued to sleep far into the night1 keeping my tent door securely closed1 as ,i wished to see and speak to no one4 ,it was1 perhaps1 three o'clock of the morning following when ,i was roused by a strange noise at my tent door4 ,starting up from my bed on the ground1 ,i saw that some one had cut open the fastenings1 and that the flap was drawn back4 ,in the opening thus formed stood the shape of an ,indian rider on horseback1 perfectly motionless4 ,the moonlight1 which was unusually brilliant1 fell full upon the face of this man1 and ,i recognized him at once1 with a horrible chill of foreboding1 as a half-witted ,indian who sometimes acted as guide1 but only to those who knew no better than to accept his services1 which were worthless and treacherous4 ,he was a half-breed1 an odious1 repulsive being1 with only wit enough to be malicious1 and of abnormal treachery and cruelty even for his kind4 ,never can ,i forget that face of his in the moonlight4 ,he spoke not one word1 but simply sat his horse and looked at me with his narrow1 gleaming eyes1 a malignant grin making his ugliness fairly fiendish4 ,if you want to get a faint idea of his look1 recall the face of ,oliver--my son20 ,ingraham's voice sunk to a whisper1 and he added1 8,i can never escape it40 ,gregory's brows knit heavily1 and his face reflected something of the tortured misery of the man before him4 8,it was not10 said ,ingraham1 8until ,i had staggered to my feet that ,i saw that across his saddle-bow this creature carried a dead body--,jim4 ,there was an ,indian arrow in his side40 8,no matter1 no matter for the rest2 ,i understand10 said ,gregory1 hastily4 ,there was silence for a moment1 and then ,ingraham1 with a strong effort1 rallied himself to conclude his story4 8,i was ,jim's heir40 ,these words were spoken with hard and scornful emphasis4 8,that was a feature of the case which presents complications to a man in forming a judgment4 ,perhaps you will believe me when ,i say that this issue had not entered my mind in letting the boy go to his death4 ,indeed1 the whole series of events was without deliberation1 but under the influence of blind1 sullen anger40 8,i believe you10 said ,gregory4 8,all the same1 ,i profited by his death4 ,the mines proved immensely valuable1 and are even to-day4 ,they have made me rich--and incomparably wretched4 ,a word or two more1 and you will know the whole story4 ,jim was brought home1 here1 for burial1 my wife and ,i returning with his body4 ,all through that journey1 and continually1 for many months1 ,i saw before me1 waking or sleeping1 that face of cruelty incarnate1 the half-witted ,indian guide1 as ,i had seen him on that awful night4 ,that face was my ,nemesis4 ,it is still4 8,within the year my wife gave birth to a son1 ,oliver1--a strange perversion1 made up of moral obliquity1 mental distortion1 and physical deformity1 like an embodiment of sin4 ,on his face was stamped by some strange trick of nature the image which had haunted me--as if the ,fates1 or the ,fiends1 or ,god himself1 had feared ,i might forget1 and know a day of respite4 8,my wife died when ,oliver was a few months old1--died of cold1 ,i believe1 the chill of our loveless marriage4 ,two years later ,cornelia and ,i were married4 ,i believe she has been happy4 ,i have been prospered1 and have risen to a position of some influence1 and we have all that could be desired in our home1 in our three daughters4 ,but when1 to-night1 ,i heard you pronounce the judgments of ,god on men who had built up prosperity upon a lie1 ,i was like a man struck in his very heart4 ,i felt that ,i could no longer endure my hidden load1 and must confess to one human being my past1 and make restitution1 if by any means it is yet possible4 ,the ,romish ,church is merciful1 when it provides the possibility of confession to sinful men4 8,what have you to say to me8 ,have you healing for such a sore as mine80 ,with these abrupt words ,ingraham threw himself into a leather-covered arm-chair with the action of complete exhaustion4 ,his aspect was changed from that of the alert1 confident man of the world and of affairs1 to that of a broken down and shattered age4 ,,chapter ,,xxvi ,sin is not a monster to be mused on1 but an impotence to be got rid of4 --,,matthew ,,arnold4 ,use sin as it will use you2 spare it not1 for it will not spare you2 it is your murderer and the murderer of the world3 use it1 therefore1 as a murderer should be used4 ,kill it before it kills you2 and though it kill your bodies1 it shall not be able to kill your souls3 and though it bring you to the grave1 as it did your ,head1 it shall not be able to keep you there4--,,baxter4 ,john ,gregory met the demand thus made upon him with all the moral and spiritual resources of which he was master1 for all were needed4 ,the full strength of the man's personality was brought into action1 the lofty severity1 the unflinching hate of sin1 and yet the clear vision which could see beyond the torture and taint of it1 and sound the depth of a nature which thus agonized for redemption and for righteousness4 8,the only sin10 he said1 in the words of another1 8which is unforgiven is the sin which is unrepented of4 ,that early yielding to a paroxysm of jealousy and rage had a fearful1 and yet it may even be a merciful1 result4 ,there are those who have given way to worse1 and1 no result following1 have lived on in hardness of heart and contempt of ,god's law4 ,christ's inflexible law1 far more rigorous than the old law of ,moses1 says he that hateth his brother is a murderer4 ,murder1 then1 is the commonest of social sins1 rather than the rarest4 ,christ also says that it was for sinners that he came to die1 not for the righteous4 ,his love overflows all our sin1 and finds no halt at the degrees of guilt which men emphasize in their shallow judgment4 ,men judge by consequences1 by outward events2 ,god looks upon the heart4 8,looking upon the heart1 as far as we may1 with ,god1 ,i say then1 you have been guilty of murder1 but so have other men4 ,many a man has cherished a spirit of bitter revenge and hatred against one who had injured him1 who has not suffered what you have1 not having caused or profited by the death of that person1 directly or indirectly2 but before ,god you are perhaps equally guilty4 8,i do not count your sin slight4 ,i would not seek to make it small in your own eyes1 but ,i believe that you are released from the guilt and burden borne so long1 and should no longer stagger under it4 ,has not ,almighty ,god given to his servants power and commandment to declare to those who are penitent the absolution and remission of their sins8 8,what did our ,lord say to the leper who sought his cleansing8 #8,i will1 be thou clean4' ,even this he says to you4 ,throw off that old yoke of bondage4 ,it is your right4 ,go free in the liberty of the sons of ,god1 but go to sin no more40 ,these words1 spoken with the authority of a priest1 and with the solemnity of absolute conviction1 brought something of light and release to the troubled heart of ,ingraham4 ,the hour was late1 indeed1 morning was at hand1 when1 lifting his face upon which a certain calmness had settled1 he said to ,gregory1 earnestly3-- 8,i believe ,i grasp the truth of what you say1 and that there is for me a certain peace1 a partial release1 although forgetfulness never4 ,but this is not enough2 the cry of my whole soul is to make restitution in some sort1 somewhere1 although how and to whom ,i cannot see4 ,i still have the stain that ,i profit by my sin4 ,what can you tell me8 ,do you see a way for me80 ,john ,gregory looked at ,ingraham steadily for a moment before speaking1 and then said very slowly3-- 8,do you remember what the ,master said to a certain ruler1 #8,sell all that thou hast1 and distribute unto the poor1 and come1 follow me'8 ,if you are in earnest1 ,mr4 ,ingraham1 and if you feel that1 as your experience of sin has been in no light and common form1 but in a depth of agony which few men ever know1 so your repentance should be along no mild and easy lines1 but should reach to the foundations of your life--if1 ,i say1 you see things thus1 and can bear so strong a prescription1 ,i should repeat to you literally what ,christ said to the rich ruler4 ,it is a hard saying2 not every man can receive it40 ,the two men faced each other in silence for a moment1 and ,gregory saw the leap of a sudden question in the other's eyes4 8,no10 he said sternly1 as if in answer to a spoken inquiry1 8,i am not advising you with an eye on my own advantage4 ,my thought was not of my own cause1 but of the cause of humanity anywhere4 ,pardon me if ,i speak plainly2 ,i could not use a farthing of your money1 were it all at my disposal1 for building up the work ,i am seeking to establish in ,fraternia4 ,recall what you heard me say to-night of the true ,kingdom of ,god4 ,i could not use your money1 ,mr4 ,ingraham1 in seeking to show forth that kingdom2 but ,i could use you1 should you wish to come with us1 if you came empty-handed40 ,the lawyer felt the pitiless severity of ,gregory's moral standard and all that this dictum implied1 but he did not resist it4 ,his humiliation and submission were sincere1 and1 for the time at least1 controlling2 but doubt and conflict were plainly read in his face4 8,is it a hard saying80 ,john ,gregory asked1 with a slight smile4 8,yes1 harder than you know4 ,i could do what you say1 were ,i alone to be considered2 but to reduce my family to beggary1 to cut short my career and stain my reputation by the cloud which would inevitably rest upon it in the community by such an unheard-of course of action1 to take my wife and daughters from their social world to follow me1 sent like a scapegoat into some wilderness--really1 ,mr4 ,gregory1 what you name is beyond reason60 ,gregory made absolutely no response4 ,after a long silence1 ,ingraham said thoughtfully3-- 8,this is about the way ,i see for myself3 from this time on ,i shall seek to live a humbler and a sincerely ,christian life1 and shall strive in every way open to me to aid and further the cause of righteousness1 with my money and with my influence4 ,in this way ,i shall bring happiness and satisfaction to my wife1 to whom ,i owe the highest obligation1 next to ,god1 instead of destroying her comfort by dragging her with me into some late missionary endeavour or eccentric experiment4 ,pardon me1 ,mr4 ,gregory1 if ,i too speak plainly4 8,but this is not all4 ,although ,i feel no individual call in the direction of your coperative colony1 and am not over sanguine of its success1 ,i do believe profoundly in you1 personally1 as ,i must have shown you4 ,now ,i want you to reconsider what you said a little while ago4 ,frankly1 this discriminating between money made in one way or another savours to me of superstition4 ,this money1 which is mine1 cannot be destroyed2 even you would hardly advise that4 ,why not put it to a good use1 the best possible from your point of view8 ,i have never given away money largely1 but ,i am able to1 and ,i want to seal our interview to-night with a substantial gift40 ,as he spoke1 ,ingraham turned to his desk and touched a check-book which lay upon it4 8,mr4 ,gregory1 ,i want to write my check for fifty thousand dollars to be placed unconditionally in your hands4 ,you want a little church down there in your settlement1 and you want it beautiful1 worthy of its purpose2 you want a library--both are necessary to carry on the kind of work you project4 ,here they are10 and again he touched the little leather book with his forefinger2 8let me do that much as a memorial of this night and what you have done for me40 ,john ,gregory met the look of sincere and even anxious appeal with which these words were spoken with unyielding1 although not unkindly1 firmness4 8,this is a generous impulse on your part1 ,mr4 ,ingraham4 ,do not for a moment think ,i fail to appreciate it4 ,you are right2 the money must be used1 and will be1 ,i hope1 promptly and wisely4 ,you must pardon me a certain over nicety perhaps in preferring not to build my church in ,fraternia1 or even my library1 with it4 ,you will find plenty of men less fastidious1 and no one but myself will1 ,i suppose1 have reason to entertain such scruples40 ,gregory had risen1 and was ready now to go4 ,it was four o'clock1 he found1 by his watch1 and it had been a long vigil2 but1 while ,ingraham's face was haggard and even ghastly1 that of ,gregory was unchanged in its massive firmness and its strong1 fine lines4 ,ingraham stood at his desk plainly chagrined and ill at ease4 8,in your eyes1 ,i see10 he said ruefully1 8,i am still in the place of the man who went away sorrowful because he had great possessions40 8,perhaps10 said ,gregory2 8it is too soon to tell40 8,every man must judge for himself1 ,mr4 ,gregory1 when it comes to the supreme acts of his life40 8,yes10 said the other1 sadly2 8to the supreme acts or to the supreme compromises4 ,will you excuse me now8 ,i believe that ,i must go40 ,gregory held out his hand1 which ,ingraham grasped with eagerness4 8,you have honoured me by your confidence and your generosity4 ,count me your friend if you will4 ,good night40 ,,chapter ,,xxvii ,i tire of shams1 ,i rush to be4--,,emerson4 ,gertrude ,ingraham was still unmarried1 still pretty1 still charming in her dainty1 high-bred way4 ,perhaps the thought crossed ,keith ,burgess's mind as he joined her in her father's library that evening1 after their return from ,gregory's lecture1 that she would have been1 as a wife1 a shade less exigeante than ,anna4 ,anna1 shrinking from the small coin of discussion of so great themes1 had gone directly to their room1--the room which had been ,keith's on his first visit to ,burlington4 ,keith remained in the library to accept the refreshment which ,gertrude had prepared for their return1 and found the situation altogether pleasing4 ,it was a rest to a sensitive1 nervous man like himself to sit down with a pretty woman who had no startling theories of life and conduct2 one who had always moved1 and who would always choose to move1 on the comfortable lines of convention1 instead of seeking some other path for herself1 rough and lonely4 ,perhaps ,keith lingered all the more willingly to-night because he perceived a rough and lonely path opening visibly before him1 into which he must in all probability turn full soon4 8,what did you think of ,mr4 ,gregory80 asked ,gertrude ,ingraham over her tea-cups4 8,he is a tremendous speaker10 said ,keith1 soberly2 8,i never heard a man who could mould an audience to his will as he does4 ,you were not there to-night40 8,no1 but ,i heard him before you and ,mrs4 ,burgess came1 night before last4 ,i think he has the finest physique of any orator ,i ever heard4 ,don't you think that is one source of his power8 ,there is something absolutely majestic about him when he is speaking4 ,he seems to overpower you--you must agree with him1 whether you do or not40 8,then do you accept this new doctrine of his1 ,miss ,ingraham80 8,you mean that there should be no social distinctions1 no aristocratic and privileged class1 no wealth and no poverty1 and all that8 ,i do not know what he said to-night1 you see1 but that is the line on which he has been speaking40 8,yes1 that is what it all comes to40 8,why1 no1 of course ,i don't believe in it1 when ,i get away from ,mr4 ,gregory10 said ,gertrude1 laughing prettily2 8because ,i really think he is going against the fundamental laws of ,god4 ,there have always been rich people and poor people1 and it was intended that there always should be1 ,i think40 8,it does seem absolutely impracticable to carry out any such theory in actual life4 ,certainly it would be under existing conditions4 ,it can only be done by radical1 by revolutionary methods4 ,have you heard what ,mr4 ,gregory is actually doing to illustrate his theory8 ,have you heard of ,fraternia80 ,gertrude ,ingraham lifted her chin with a roguish little movement and nodded with a charming smile4 8,yes1 ,i have heard of ,fraternia too6 ,isn't it droll8 ,that is why ,i didn't go to-night1 you see4 ,i was afraid ,mr4 ,gregory would get hold of me with that irresistible power of his1 and then ,i should have to go and work in a cotton mill60 and with this ,gertrude lifted her eyebrows with an expression of plaintive self-pity which ,keith found very taking4 8,i'm afraid ,i shouldn't like it10 she added archly2 8it would be so new1 and one's hands would get so horrid60 ,they laughed together1 ,keith naturally noting the delicacy of the small white hands which were manipulating the transparent china on the low table between them4 ,then ,mrs4 ,ingraham and others coming into the room after them1 ,keith rose with graceful courtesy to serve them and to draw them into the conversation4 ,but all the while ,keith had a sense that he was turning against himself the sharpest weapons which could have been found1 nothing being so instinctively dreaded by him as to put himself in an absurd situation1 to awaken ridicule1 even his own4 ,just below the surface of his thought there lay two formidable facts1 like sunk1 threatening rocks seen darkly under smooth water4 ,he knew that ,anna would propose to him that they should throw themselves into ,gregory's enterprise1 and become disciples of the new school2 and he knew that having cut off hitherto1 involuntarily or otherwise1 each deepest desire of her soul for the service of others1 he should not dare to thwart her in this4 ,if she wished to do this thing1 he must join her in it4 ,keith had himself been deeply moved by ,gregory4 ,the old passion for sacrifice and self-devotion had stirred again within him4 ,he felt the high courage1 the generosity1 the strong initiative of ,gregory2 he was thrilled at the sight of a man who could throw himself unreservedly into a difficult and dangerous crusade1 simply for an ideal1 with all to lose and nothing to gain4 ,he too had once marched to that same music2 his blood was stirred1 and he felt something of the enthusiasm of his student years1 rising warm within him4 ,he perfectly understood the motions of ,anna's spirit1 and shared in them1 up to a certain point4 ,this point was reached when he touched the limit set by his inborn and inherited conservatism1 his constitutional preference for things as they were1 and his quick dread of making himself absurd4 ,and now1 ,gertrude ,ingraham with her pretty mocking had suddenly put the whole thing before him in the light he dreaded most4 ,anna was not thus divided in her mind1 and could not have been4 ,something of the steadfast simplicity of her ancient ,german ancestry preserved her from this characteristically ,american form of sensitiveness4 ,she could have adopted without hesitation1 any outward forms1 however out of conformity to usage1 however grotesque in the eyes of others1 if she had felt the inward call4 ,gregory's stern and lofty utterances had come to her with full prophetic weight1 and had left nothing in her to rise up in doubt or gainsaying4 ,in this mood ,keith found her4 ,she was standing1 still fully dressed1 before the chimney-piece1 where he had sat one night and dreamed at once of her and ,gertrude ,ingraham4 ,her hands were clasped and hanging before her2 her face was slightly pale1 and her eyes strangely large and luminous4 ,standing before her1 ,keith took her clasped hands between his1 and looked at her with a questioning smile4 8,well1 dear10 he said1 8what is it80 8,you know10 she answered softly4 8,was it not to you what it was to me8 ,is it not the very chance we wish1 to redeem our poor lost hopes of service8--to leave all the luxuries and privileges and advantages1 and share the world's sorrows8 to become poor and humble as our ,master was8 to give what we have received8 ,oh1 ,keith1 is it to be1 or must another hope go by80 ,as ,anna thus cried out1 the solemn appeal of her nature1 austere1 and yet full-charged with noble passion1 breaking at last through the barriers which had long held it back1 gave her an extraordinary spiritual grandeur4 ,there was something of awe in the look with which her husband regarded her4 ,weapons of fear and doubt and cavil fell before that celestial sternness in her eyes1--a look we see sometimes in the innocent eyes of young children4 8,it is to be1 ,anna4 ,you shall have your way this time1 my wife40 ,the words were spoken reverently1 with grave gentleness1 and ,keith's own sweet courtesy4 ,was it ,anna's fault that she failed1 in the exaltation of her mood1 to catch the sadness in them8 ,keith was hardly conscious of it himself4 ,he was thinking1 on an unspoken parallel1 that he would rather be privileged to adore ,anna ,mallison in a moment like this1 even though she led him in a rough and lonely path1 than to dally with another woman in smoothness and ease4 ,,chapter ,,xxviii ,i took the power in my hand ,and went against the world2 ',twas not so much as ,david had1 ,but ,i was twice as bold4 ,i aimed my pebble1 but myself ,was all the one that fell4 ,was it ,goliath was too large1 ,or only ,i too small8 --,,emily ,,dickinson4 ,we all have need of that prayer of the ,breton mariner1 8,save us1 ,o ,god6 ,thine ocean is so large and our little boats are so small40--,,farrar4 8,trunks checked for ,utopia6 ,direct passenger route without change of cars6 ,ye gods1 it doth amaze me60 ,thus ,professor ,ward1 with a sardonic and yet discomfited smile1 standing in the studio of his friend ,pierce ,everett1 in ,fulham4 ,the room was in the disorder of a radical breaking up2 packing boxes standing about and litter strewn everywhere4 ,everett in his shirt sleeves was piling on a table a mass of draperies which he had taken from the wall4 ,he was covered with dust1 but his face was full of joyous excitement4 8,yes1 my good friend--straight for ,utopia now6 8#8,get on board1 chil'en1 ,get on board1 chil'en1 ,for there's room for many a more4'0 ,everett trolled out the old negro chorus with hilarious enjoyment4 8,quos ,deus vult perdere--0 began ,ward1 grimly4 8,oh1 we're all mad1 you know4 ,we are simply not so mad as the rest of you10 interrupted ,everett1 gayly4 8,we have intervals of sanity1 and are taking advantage of one of them to get out of the mad-house1 leaving you other fellows to keep up your unprofitable strife with phantoms by yourselves1 while we actually--yes1 we even dare to believe it--live4 ,think of that1 ,ward1 if you have the imagination60 ,ward shook his head4 8,no1 you haven't2 that is so4 ,if you had1 you could not have listened to ,gregory unmoved40 8,confound ,gregory10 muttered ,ward4 8,what did you ever get the man here for1 turning our world upside down60 8,that has been the occupation of seers and prophets from the beginning1 ,i believe10 retorted ,everett1 carelessly4 8,seers and prophets60 cried ,ward1 angrily1 8that is what ,i can stand least of all4 ,this posing as a kind of nineteenth century ,john the ,baptist strikes me as exquisitely ridiculous40 ,everett's eyes flashed dangerously1 but he made no rejoinder4 8,i saw your ,john the ,baptist this morning in the ,central ,station buying his railway ticket and morning paper like any other average man4 ,the locusts and wild honey were not in evidence40 8,no1 he doesn't take nourishment habitually in railway stations10 put in ,everett1 coolly4 8,i didn't see any leathern girdle about his loins1 either1 although of course he may wear it next the skin for penitential purposes4 ,his clothing appeared to be a species of camel's hair--0 8,falsely so called10 put in ,everett2 8it is really ,english tweed4 ,very good quality40 8,yes1 ,i'll venture to say that is true4 ,your prophet of the wilderness strikes me as knowing a good thing when he sees it4 ,plague take the fellow6 ,he has just that sort of brute force and sheer overbearing personal dominance1 which you idealists and credulous take for spiritual authority40 8,come now1 ,ward1 we may as well keep our tempers and treat this matter decently4 ,nothing is gained by calling names4 ,you are naturally prejudiced against a man who attacks the existing social order1 and suggests that even the rulers of the synagogue and the great teachers of the schools have something yet to learn4 ,gregory is radical1 revolutionary perhaps1 but not a whit more so than the ,new ,testament makes him4 ,he is an absolutely conscientious man2 he has given up every personal ambition1 wealth1 position1 all that most men cling to--0 8,in order to become a ,dictator1 in a field where there is very little competition40 ,everett suppressed the irritation which this interposition aroused1 and continued in a lighter tone1-- 8,you are enough of a dictator yourself to see this point1 which had escaped the rest of us4 ,i can see that it is a little bitter to you to have ,mrs4 ,burgess seeking another spiritual and intellectual adviser1--going after other gods1 as it were40 8,yes10 said ,ward1 gravely2 8it makes me sick at heart to see a woman like ,mrs4 ,burgess1 with all that glorious power of self-devotion of hers1 throwing herself blindly into this wild1 ,quixotic experiment--sure to end in disappointment and defeat4 ,it is mournful1 most mournful10 and ,ward shook his head in melancholy fashion4 8,and when it comes to ,keith10 he resumed1 8alas6 our brother6 ,poor ,keith1 with his lifelong habits of luxurious ease1 his conventional views of duty1 his yardstick imagination1 and his wretched health--to think of such a man being torn from all the amenities of a refined ,christian home1 and carted across lots1 ,government bonds and all1 to be set down in some malarial swamp to dig ditches with a set of ploughmen1 to prove1 forsooth6 that all men are created free and equal10 and ,ward groaned and bent his head as if overcome by the picture he had called up4 ,lifting his head suddenly1 he added in a tone of pensive rumination4 8,he is one of those men ,thoreau tells of1 who would not go a-huckleberrying without a medicine chest2 and he would perish1 ,i am convinced1 if deprived of improved sanitary plumbing40 8,all very clever10 said ,everett1 8but ,i will take the liberty of mentioning the fact that the ,burgess's physician hails the ,north ,carolina project as the very best thing which could happen for ,keith's health40 ,hardly had he finished the sentence when a light knock was heard on the half-open door of the studio1 and ,anna ,burgess1 at ,everett's word1 stepped into the room4 ,she wore a thin black gown1 for the day was warm1 and a broad-brimmed hat of some transparent black substance threw the fine shape of her head and the pure tints of her face into striking relief4 ,a handful of white jonquils was fastened into the front of her gown1 and the freshness of the ,june day seemed to enter the dusty1 despoiled studio with her4 ,both men stood at gaze before her with deference and admiration in every line and look4 ,with a delicate flush rising in her cheeks1 ,anna gave her hand to each1 and spoke a word of greeting in which her natural shyness and her acquired social grace were mingled to a manner of peculiar charm4 8,i ran up to hand you these papers for ,mr4 ,gregory10 she said to ,everett1 a vibration of suppressed joy in her full1 low voice which he had never heard before4 8,you know he said he would like it if you would bring them10 and she placed a long envelope in his hand4 8,no1 ,i cannot stop a moment1 ,keith is waiting for me in the carriage4 ,i did not give the papers to the maid because ,i wanted to say to you1 ,mr4 ,everett1 that ,keith does not see it any differently1--about the estate1 you know4 ,he pledges the income1 freely1 altogether1 but he feels that the estate itself should be kept intact40 8,thank ,heaven1 he has a spark of reason left60 exclaimed ,ward under his breath1 adding quickly1-- 8,pardon me1 ,mrs4 ,burgess1 but you know ,i am not a ,gregorian psalm myself1 yet40 ,anna turned to him with her rare smile1 less brilliant than clear and luminous4 8,but ,i was so glad you came to the house1 ,professor ,ward1 and heard ,mr4 ,gregory10 she said with gracious courtesy2 8we cannot expect every one to follow out these new theories practically as we hope to do1 but at least we want every one we care about to know really what they are40 8,do you think that many of those present at your house that afternoon were inclined to accept ,mr4 ,gregory's gospel1 if ,i may so call it80 asked ,ward1 respectfully4 8,of course not10 interjected ,everett1 8there was no one there but cranks and critics40 ,anna's face clouded a little4 8,no10 she said simply4 8,fulham is not a good field for such a message2 it was quite different in ,burlington4 ,most of them went away saying it would be very fine if it were not wholly impossible40 8,and it does not occur to you1 does it1 ,mrs4 ,burgess10 ,ward pressed the question with undisguised earnestness1 8that perhaps they were right8 that there is something to be said for the old order1 as old as the race8 that possibly certain distinctions are inherent in the nature of things8 ,such distinctions1 for instance1 as separate you10 and ,ward gave the pronoun a freight of significance to carry1 8from that man10 and he indicated a labourer who had just left the room with an immense box of merchandise on his broad1 bent shoulders1 and whose slow1 heavy steps could now be heard on the stairs below4 ,he had struck the wrong chord4 8,professor ,ward10 cried ,anna1 her voice even lower than its wont1 but her emphasis the more intense1 8did that man choose to be reduced to the life and little more than the faculties of a beast of burden1 to be a brother to the ox1 to live a blind1 brutalized1 animal existence1 with neither joy nor star80 ,she paused a moment1 and then added1 with indescribable pathos dimming the kindling light in her eyes3-- 8,it is that man1 ,professor ,ward1 and what he stands for1 that sends me to ,fraternia1 if perhaps ,i can yet atone4 ,it is ,i that have made that man what he is1 and you1 and all of us who have clung gladly to our powers and privileges1 and dared to believe that we were made for the heights of life1 and men like him for the abyss4 ,if we could read our ,new ,testament once as if it were not an old story6 ,if we1 for one moment1 could lay our social cruelties beside that pattern shown us in the mount60 ,the deep heart of her and the innermost motive power broke forth from ,anna's usual quiet and reserve in these last words with thrilling influence upon both men4 ,she was beautiful as she spoke1 but with the beauty of some ,miriam or ,cassandra1--a woman1 as had been said of her long before1 8to die for1 not to play games with40 ,professor ,ward1 the irritation of his earlier mood quite gone1 stood regarding ,anna as she spoke with a sadness as profound as it was wholly unaffected4 ,having spoken1 she turned to go4 8,let me say one word1 ,mrs4 ,burgess10 he said1 extending his hand to detain her a moment4 8,i sympathize deeply with your purposes1 and ,i am not wholly incapable of appreciating your motives4 ,from my heart ,i shall bid you ,god-speed on your way when your time comes to go out into this new spiritual adventure4 ,it will be none the less noble because it is impossible40 8,good-by10 she said1 and smiled4 ,,chapter ,,xxix ,canst drink the waters of the crispd spring8 ,o sweet ,content6 ,swim'st thou in wealth1 yet sink'st in thine own tears8 ,o ,punishment6 ,then he that patiently ,want's burden bears ,no burden bears1 but is a king1 a king4 ,o sweet ,content1 ,o sweet1 ,o sweet ,content6 ,work apace1 apace1 apace1 apace1 ,honest labour bears a lovely face4 --,,thomas ,,dekker1 #afjj4 ,a valley1 two thousand feet above the sea level1 narrowing at its upper or northern end to a ravine piercing thickly wooded hills1 but widening gradually southward1 until1 a mile lower down the mountain stream which issues from the gorge1 it becomes a broad sunny meadow land4 ,on a day in the middle of ,march1 when the sun shone warm and a turquoise sky arched smiling over this valley1 signs of human activity and energy prevailed on every side4 ,in the bottom lands men were ploughing the broad level fields2 here the river had been dammed1 forming a pond1 on the bank of which stood a large picturesque building sheathed with dark-green shingles4 ,from the wide and open windows of this building the sound of whirring spindles and the joyous laughter of girls and men issued4 ,higher up the valley men were at work building a light bridge of plank across the creek1 while others were carting newly sawed lumber1 with its strong pungent smell1 from the sawmill below4 ,on the eastern side of the valley1 between this bridge and the mills half a mile south1 were scattered or grouped at irregular intervals1 forty or fifty small cabins1 some of log1 others of unplaned boards2 thatched1 or covered in red tile4 ,men and women were at work in the damp mould of the gardens by which these cabins were surrounded1 and fresh green things were shooting up4 ,on the opposite side of the stream1 on a wooded knoll1 stood a large1 low1 barrack-like building with a red roof1 and near it a few cabins4 ,it was opposite this group of buildings that the foot-bridge was in process of making1 to supersede a single plank and rail which had hitherto connected the banks of the stream4 ,down the valley from this small and separate settlement stretched fields already under cultivation1 for corn1 potatoes1 and cotton4 ,there were no streets in this rustic settlement4 ,footpaths led to the cottage doors through the thin1 coarse grass1 and along the eastern side of the little river2 and between its bank and the houses ran a rough wagon road1 deeply rutted now by the wheels of the lumber wagons in the soft1 red soil4 ,to the north and east the hills rose abruptly1 covered with oak and pine1 and the aromatic fragrance of the latter was in the air1 mingling with the scent of the soil4 ,beyond the lower hills to the west loomed the shoulders of dim1 blue mountains1 while looking south1 down the shining river1 beyond a belt of woodland1 the valley broadened out to the sunny plain stretching to the horizon line4 ,the limpid clearness of the air1 the fragrance of the forest and the earth1 the musical flow of the little river1 the wonderful brilliancy of the sky1 with the vast uplift of the mountains1 gave a sense of wild perfection to the ensemble4 ,such was ,fraternia in the morning of its second spring4 ,it was during that decade which saw the sudden springing into life of so large a number of communistic organizations and settlements throughout the country1 mainly in the south and west4 ,many of these experiments were crude and obscure2 most of them were shortlived4 ,they were founded on widely different social conceptions1 ranging from those of unlimited license and rank anarchism up to the high ideals of the life of ,christian brotherhood set forth in the early church4 ,the latter was the foundation of ,john ,gregory's colony in ,fraternia4 ,inflexible morality and blamelessness of ,christian living were his cardinal laws4 ,built upon them was the superstructure of economic and social equality1 of labour sharing1 and of domestic simplicity4 ,thus far unusual promise attended the adventure1 and peace and good will reigned in the little community4 ,toward the upper end of the village half a dozen men were at work around a circular excavation not more than five or six feet in diameter1 which had been lined with irregular slabs and blocks of stone patched together with clay4 ,in blue overalls thickly bespattered with red mud and the sticky clay1 a man was working on his knees at the edge of this basin4 ,it was ,keith ,burgess4 ,near him1 measuring with rule and line and marking out the width of the coping1 stood the artist1 ,pierce ,everett4 ,their fellow-workmen were two ,irishmen--big1 active fellows1 with honest eyes--and a wiry little black-a-vised ,jew1 a quondam foreman in a ,new ,york sweat-shop4 ,he was mixing clay and laying the stone of the coping1 while the ,irishmen were at work in an open trench through which ran the pipe which was to conduct the water from a spring in the ravine above into the new reservoir4 ,emerging from the woods below the dam a little crowd of children came straying up the valley1 laughing and shouting1 and jumping gayly over the pools of red mud in the road4 ,their hands were full of wild flowers1--bloodroot1 and anemones1 and arbutus2 their hair was blown about in the wind2 their eyes were shining4 ,among them1 giving her hand to a little girl who walked with a crutch1 walked ,anna ,burgess1 her face as joyous as theirs1 and a free1 unhampered vigour and grace in every line of her figure4 ,she was the head teacher in the village school1 and was known to her scholars1 and1 indeed1 quite generally in the little community1 as 8,sister ,benigna40 ,this name1 8,benigna10 which had come down in ,anna's family for generations1 and had been given her as a second name1 had not been used for many years1 save by her mother1 who still clung loyally to the full 8,anna ,benigna40 ,who it was in ,fraternia who had revived the beautiful old ,moravian name was not known1 but the use of it had been quickly established1 especially among the children and the foreign folk4 ,the habit of using 8,brother0 and 8,sister0 with the given name in ordinary social intercourse was common1 although not universal1 in ,fraternia4 ,anna's assistants in the school--a pale1 little ,english governess1 who had apparently never known stronger food than tea and bread until she came to ,fraternia1 and a rosy-cheeked ,german kindergartner--were among the little flock1 their hands overflowing with wild flowers1 and their faces with the high delight the spring day brought them4 ,it was ,saturday morning1 and a holiday4 ,suddenly there was a shout from some boys who were foremost in the company1 and they came scampering back to ,anna exclaiming that the 8fountain0 was almost finished1 and1 perhaps1 the water would soon be turned into it4 ,by common consent the whole party hastened on and soon encircled the workmen at the basin with noisy questions and merry chatter4 ,it was to be so fine not to have to go up to the spring in the ravine with pails and pitchers any more4 ,could they surely have the water here for ,sunday8 ,then ,frulein ,frieda told them how the girls in her country came to such fountains with their jugs1 and carried them away full on their heads4 ,she showed them with a tin pail1 found lying in the clay1 just how it was done1 walking away with firm1 balanced step1 the pail unsupported on her pretty flaxen-haired head1 on which the sun shone dazzlingly4 ,the little girls were greatly delighted1 and all declared they should learn to carry their water pots home on their heads from the ,quelle1 as ,frulein ,frieda called it4 ,anna stood at the edge of the basin1 ,keith at her feet1 on his knees1 with the trowel in his hands1 smiling up at her1 the little lame girl still at her side1 a trace of wistfulness in her eyes as she watched the others4 8,we will not carry our water pails on our heads1 you and ,i1 will we1 little ,judith80 ,anna asked1 kind and motherly4 8,we want our brains to grow1 and it might crowd them down2 don't you think so80 ,the swarthy ,jew looked up from the clay he was mixing with quick1 instinctive gratitude4 ,judith was his child4 ,he grinned a broad and rather hideous grin1 and exclaimed in a broken dialect3-- 8,das ist so1 ,kleine2 shust listen to our lady6 ,she knows4 ,she says it right40 ,pierce ,everett's dark eyes flashed with sudden enthusiasm4 ,turning to ,anna he bowed profoundly and said low to ,keith1 as well as to her3-- 8,there you have it6 ,barnabas has found your title--#8our lady'60 ,anna looked into ,everett's dark eager eyes with her quiet smile1 and was about to speak1 when a sudden noise of grating and rattling and horses' hoofs behind them caused them all three to turn and look down the river4 ,a horse and stone drag were approaching rapidly1 driven by ,john ,gregory1 who stood on the drag1 which was loaded with big clean pebbles from the river-bed4 ,he wore a coarse grey flannel shirt1 the collar turned off a little at the throat1 and rough grey trousers tucked into high rubber boots1 which reached to the thighs4 ,the cloth cap on his head with its vizor bore a certain resemblance to a helmet1 and altogether the likeness of the whole appearance to that of a ,roman warrior in his chariot did not escape the three friends who watched its approach in the motley crowd around the basin4 ,gregory drove his drag close up to the edge of the coping1 now nearly laid1 greeted the company with a courteous removal of his hat and a cordial ,good-morning1 then discharged the load of pebbles in a glinting heap on the soft red earth4 ,there was no conscious assumption of mastery or direction in ,gregory's manner1 nothing could have been simpler or more democratic than the impartial comradery with which he joined the others1 nevertheless the sense that the master was among them was instantly communicated throughout the little group4 ,up in the trench1 nearly to the base of the cliffs which marked the entrance to the ravine1 one ,irishman said to the other1 in a tone of satisfaction not unmixed with good-natured sarcasm3-- 8,himsilf's come now4 ,the gintlemin masons will git to rights or they'll lose their job1 d'ye mind1 ,patrick80 8,oh1 ay10 said the other1 8an' the same to yersilf1 if ye ivir noticed it40 ,there was a little silence even among the chattering children as ,gregory stooped by ,everett's side1 pulled up with the ease of mighty muscle two or three stones1 took the trowel from ,keith's hand and a hod of mortar from the waiting ,barnabas1 and set the stones over on a truer line1 laughing the while with the men and turning aside the edge of criticism with frank self-disparagement1 as being himself but a tyro4 ,a curious consequence of ,gregory's appearance on the scene after this sort1 was the dwarfed effect of the men around him1 who suddenly seemed to have shrunk in stature and proportions1 and whose motions1 beside the virile force and confident freedom of his1 appeared incompetent and weak4 ,anna had drawn back from her place near the basin's edge4 ,gregory had not looked at her nor she at him directly4 ,in fact1 they habitually1 for some reason they themselves could not define1 avoided each other1 and yet could not avoid a piercing consciousness1 when together1 of every look and word of the other4 ,a sudden shyness and subduing had fallen instantly upon ,anna's bright mood1 and1 while the others watched every look and motion of ,gregory with almost breathless interest1 she stood apart and arranged little ,judith's flowers with apparent preoccupation4 ,tossing the trowel back to ,keith1 with whom he exchanged a few words of question1 ,gregory next hastened with long strides up the line of the trench to the place where the ,irishmen were at work4 ,here was a primitive moss-grown trough1 into which the water of the spring had hitherto been conducted1 and to which all the people had been obliged to come for their supply of drinking water4 ,the new iron pipe already replaced the rude wooden conduit which had done duty until now1 but the water still flowed into the trough1 and would do so until1 the basin completed1 the connection might be made between the two sections of pipe4 ,under ,gregory's direction this was now effected1 and the water of the spring1 if there was no flaw1 should now flow unimpeded into the basin below4 ,to test the basin1 it was ,gregory's purpose to make the experiment at once4 ,presently there was a shout1 exulting and joyous1 from the company below4 8,the water is here6 ,the water6 ,the water60 rose the cry into the stillness of the valley4 ,the men at work upon the bridge left their work1 and hastened to join the little crowd4 ,with strides even longer than before1 ,gregory came down again1 the ,irishmen following him in a scramble to keep up4 ,joy was in all their faces1 and the deepest joy of all in that of ,gregory4 ,they stood together and watched the jet of water as it sprang from the mouth of the pipe1 turbid at first1 but gradually becoming clear and sparkling1 and fell with a gentle1 musical plashing into the stone fountain4 ,there was complete silence for a little space1 as they looked intently at the increasing depth of the gathering pool1 and then1 bringing down his hands with a will on the shoulders of ,keith and ,everett1 ,gregory exclaimed3-- 8,men1 you have done well1 all of you6 ,it holds1 do you see8 ,it is tight as a ship4 ,hurrah60 ,they all joined in a great cheer1 and then1 swiftly finding where she stood1 or knowing1 as he always seemed to know1 instinctively1 ,gregory's eyes sought ,anna ,burgess4 8,will ,sister ,benigna come up here80 he asked quietly1 with the unhesitating steadiness of the man who knows just what he means to do4 ,anna came slowly forward1 and stood on the new-laid coping1 by the side of ,gregory1 greatly wondering4 ,just beyond her was ,keith1 side by side with ,barnabas ,rosenblatt4 ,meanwhile1 ,gregory had taken from his pocket a small folding drinking cup of shining metal1 which he had held in the flow of the spring water until it was thoroughly purified4 ,turning now to look at all those who stood round about1 he said3-- 8,brothers1 sisters1 little children1 this water is the good gift of ,god4 ,let this fountain be now consecrated to all pure and holy uses4 ,by the wish which ,i believe to be in every one of you1 let the first who shall drink of this living water from the new fountain be our ,sister ,benigna40 ,with these words ,gregory filled the cup from the sparkling outgush of the spring1 the water so cold that the polished cup was covered with frosty dimness1 and with simple seriousness handed it to ,anna4 ,affection and reverence were in the eyes of all the people as they watched her while with uncovered head1 calm brow1 and the fine simplicity of unconsciousness she took the cup and drank4 ,but with the first touch of her lips to the cup the hand in which she held it trembled2 and when she drained the last drop1 it trembled still4 ,as ,anna stepped back1 having drunk1 into the ranks1 ,gregory lifted his hand1 and with the gesture which commands devotion repeated the ancient words1-- 8#8,o most high1 almighty1 good ,lord ,god1 to thee belong praise1 glory1 honour1 and all blessing6 8#8,praised be my ,lord for our brother the wind1 and for air and cloud1 calms and all weather1 by the which thou upholdest in life all creatures4 8#8,praised be my ,lord for our sister1 water1 who is very serviceable unto us1 and humble1 and precious1 and clear4'0 ,then with a deeper solemnity and significance in face and voice1 he continued3-- 8#8,if thou knewest the gift of ,god and who it is that saith to thee1 ,give me to drink2 thou wouldest have asked of him and he would have given thee living water4' 8#8,jesus said1 ,if any man thirst1 let him come to me and drink4'0 ,it was noon1 and turning they all dispersed1 each to his own place1 a deepened gladness in their faces4 ,but as for ,anna ,burgess1 a dimness was upon her joy1 a thrilling undercurrent of dread and wonder which she could not understand2 for she had drunk of the ,cup of ,trembling--and knew it not4 ,,chapter ,,xxx ,we've toiled and failed2 we spake the word2 ,none hearkened2 dumb we lie2 ,our ,hope is dead1 the seed we spread ,fell o'er the earth to die4 ,what's this8 ,for joy our hearts stand still1 ,and life is loved and dear1 ,the lost and found the cause hath crowned1 ,the ,day of ,days is here4 --,,william ,,morris4 ,the ,burgesses had come to ,fraternia in the preceding ,december1 although ,keith had soon left again1 having still many business concerns to recall him to ,fulham4 ,the house there was now closed1 and the life there for them presumably ended1 and1 late in ,february1 ,keith had returned to ,fraternia4 ,anna had employed the months between their decision to join the coperative colony and their actual journey to the ,south1 in taking a short course in nursing in a ,fulham hospital1 reviving her old knowledge of the subject1 gained in her girlhood in ,burlington4 ,she had it in mind to fit herself thus as thoroughly as the brief interval allowed1 for the duties of a trained nurse to the little community1 this being an occupation at once congenial to herself and important for the general good4 ,for uniformity of service was by no means according to ,john ,gregory's plan1 and ,gertrude ,ingraham might not have found herself shut up to the cotton mill even if she had done so incredible a thing as to throw in her fortunes with ,fraternia4 ,all must labour1 and all must labour for the general good1--one of ,gregory's prime maxims being1 ,if a man will not work1 neither shall he eat2 but as far as practicable that labour was to be on the line of each person's best capacity1 choice1 and development4 ,thus ,keith ,burgess's feat of stonelaying had not been enforced1 but self-chosen1 as an expression of his good will in the sharing the coarser labours of the people4 ,the work to which he had been assigned by ,gregory was clerical1 not manual1 being that of secretary to the colony4 ,anna1 thus far1 had had no opportunity for any especial use of her vocation as nurse1 the families of ,fraternia being remarkably healthy under the simple and wholesome conditions of their life1 and serious illness unknown during that winter4 ,her trained and well-equipped mind obviously fitted her for a work of intellectual rather than industrial character1 and the duties of teaching the children of the colony five hours a day--the required time of service for the women--were given to her by common consent4 ,neither at the time when she was chosen to this service1 nor at any other1 had ,john ,gregory directly communicated his wishes to ,anna or discussed his plans with her2 and yet1 from the day of her arrival in ,fraternia he had perhaps never formed a plan which was not in some subtle manner shaped by unconscious reference to her4 ,in her own way1 ,anna's personality was hardly less conspicuous than his2 and these two invisibly and involuntarily modified each the other's action and deliberation as the orbits of two stars are influenced by their mutual attraction and repulsion4 ,by the whole habit and choice of his life ,john ,gregory was a purist in morals and in his personal practice of simplicity4 ,the most frugal fare and the simplest domestic appliances served his turn by preference1 although he had been born and bred in comparative luxury4 ,he was free and fraternal with men2 gently respectful to women1 whom he yet never treated as if they were superior to men by force of their weakness1 but rather as being on a basis of accepted equality2 while to little children he always showed winning tenderness4 ,socially1 however1 he scrupulously avoided intercourse with women1 with a curious1 undeviating persistency which almost suggested ascetic withdrawal4 ,the other men of the colony1 several of whom were men of some social rank and mental culture1 found it pleasant to stop on the woodland paths or by the stream1 all the more in these soft spring days1 and exchange thought and word1 light or grave1 with the girls and women1 but never once had ,gregory been seen to do this1 or to visit the households presided over by women on any errand whatever4 ,whether a line of action which thus inevitably separated him more and more from the domestic life of the people1 was pursued by deliberate purpose or by the accident of personal inclination was not clear1 but certain it was that the fact contributed to the distinction and separation which seemed inevitably to belong to ,gregory4 ,with all his simplicity of life and democratic brotherliness of conversation1 he lived and moved in ,fraternia with an effect of one on a wholly different plane from the others1 and with the full practical exercise of a dictatorship which no one resented because all regarded him with a species of hero-worship as manifestly the master of the situation4 ,his residence was in one of the small cabins on the western side of the river1 to which the bridge gave convenient access4 ,the other cabins served1 one as a rude1 temporary library1 the other as storehouse1 while the large barrack-like building furnished bachelor quarters for the unmarried men4 ,gregory1 since ,everett's arrival1 had shared his house with the artist4 ,their meals were taken in common with the other men4 ,no one was in the habit of entering the house1 ,gregory having a kind of office1 agreeably furnished1 at the cotton mill1 where he was usually to be found when not at work in field or wood4 ,this was1 however1 often the case1 for he never failed to discharge the daily quota of manual labour which he had assigned himself2 and it was noticeable to all that if any task were of an offensive or difficult nature1 he was the one to assume it first and as a matter of course4 ,it was owing to this characteristic1 perhaps more than to any other1 save his singular personal ascendency1 that the silent dictatorship of ,gregory in the little community was so cheerfully accepted4 ,nominally the government of the village was in the hands of a board of directors1 with an inner executive committee1 and of which ,gregory was chairman4 ,several women served on the larger board4 ,keith ,burgess was a director2 ,anna's name had not been proposed for the office4 ,there had been but one vacancy in the board on their arrival1 which was sufficient reason4 ,the councils of the directors were held weekly in ,gregory's office1 and thus far a good degree of harmony prevailed4 ,again it was ,saturday morning4 ,a week had passed which had brought many days of heavy rain4 ,the river1 swollen and yellow1 dashed noisily down from the gorge and filled its channel below with deep and urgent current4 ,on its turbid flood appeared from time to time newly felled logs1 floated down from the regions above1 where ,fraternia men were at work1 taking advantage of the swollen river for conveying their lumber to the sawmill4 ,a west wind1 the night before1 had blown the clouds before it1 and this morning the sun shone from an effulgent sky2 the wind had died to a soft breeze laden with manifold fragrance2 and in place of the chill of the north1 the air possessed the indescribable softness and balm of the southern spring4 ,it was again a busy morning in ,fraternia1 and everywhere1 and in all the homely tasks1 thrilled the unchecked joy in simple existence of innocent hearts living out their normal bent for mutual help and burden-sharing4 ,in the garden ground around their house1 which was high up the valley in a group of three others1 one of which contained the common kitchen and dining room for the inmates of all1 ,anna ,burgess was at work in her garden1 sowing and planting in the damp soil4 ,glancing down the valley1 she could see ,everett hard at work with another man1 who had been an architect in ,burlington1 erecting a little thatched pavilion1 of original design1 graceful and rustic1 to protect the new and precious fountain from the sun1 and keep its water clean and serviceable4 ,across the river1 in the library1 ,keith1 she knew1 was at work at his bookkeeping1 and also at the task of collecting excerpts from the writings of social economists for use in an address which he was preparing4 ,a new mental activity had been stimulated in ,keith by the change of climate and conditions1 and the influx of new ideas2 and the ease and cheerfulness with which he had adapted himself to the primitive habits of pioneer life1 would have amazed his friend ,ward4 ,barnabas had been gathering one or two sizable slabs of stone which had been left from the lining and coping of the fountain1 and ,anna watched him a moment as1 having loaded them into a wheelbarrow1 he proceeded to carry them down to the new bridge1 and so across to the west side of the river4 ,she hardly cared to wonder what he was about to do1 being otherwise absorbed1 and her eyes did not follow him as he wheeled his burden on up the knoll on which were the library and the house of ,gregory1 set in their bit of pine wood4 ,the door of ,gregory's cabin stood open1 as was customary in ,fraternia in mild weather4 ,barnabas dropped the burden from his barrow just before the open door1 stood to wipe the sweat from his forehead1 and then1 kneeling1 began the self-imposed effort of placing the stones together for a low step1 which was yet lacking to the rudely finished house4 ,as he worked1 he now and then lifted his eyes and glanced into the interior of the house which he had never entered4 ,it had the walls and ceiling of unplaned1 uncovered boards of all the ,fraternia houses2 the floor was absolutely bare and absolutely clean1 damp in spots and redolent of soap from recent scrubbing4 ,the open windows let in the sun-warmed1 piney air1 but the light was obscured1 the trees growing close to the house1 and a dim gold-green twilight reigned in the silent room4 ,a door stood open into the second room where two narrow iron beds came within the field of vision4 ,there was the ordinary chimney1 built of brick1 of ample proportions1 with a pine shelf running across1 and in the fireplace logs of fat pine laid for a blaze in the evening1 which was still sure to be cool4 ,plain wooden arm-chairs stood near the hearth2 an uncovered table of home manufacture1 clumsy and heavy1 in the middle of the room1 was thickly strewn with books and papers and writing materials4 ,it was the typical ,fraternia interior1--bare1 and yet not comfortless1 and with its own effect of simple distinction1 conveyed by absolute cleanness1 order1 and the absence of the superfluous4 ,but it was none of these details which caught the eye of ,barnabas4 ,above the chimney there was fastened by hidden screws close against the wall1 so that it had the effect of a panel1 a picture1 unframed1 showing the figure of a slender girl with uplifted head and solemn eyes1 set against an ,oriental background4 ,it was ,everett's study of the ,girlhood of the ,virgin1 and besides it there was no picture nor decoration of any sort in the place4 ,each time he lifted his eyes from the stones before him to the picture whose high lights gleamed strangely through the dimness of the room within1 ,barnabas was more impressed with some elusive resemblance in the face2 and at last1 striking the stone with his hand1 he murmured to himself in his native tongue1 8,now ,i have it6 ,the damsel there is like our lady when she prays40 ,meanwhile the river ran between and thundered over the dam below2 the red roofs gleamed warm in the sun1 and ,anna1 down on her knees like ,barnabas1 on a bit of board1 was tending her bulbs with loving hands1 while within her was springing a very rapture of poetic joy4 ,almost for the first time in her life she was conscious of unalloyed happiness4 ,was it because the sky was blue8 or because the vital flood of spring beat and surged about her in the river1 in the forest1 in the air8 ,not wholly2 nor even because under these kindly influences all the dormant poetic and creative instincts of her nature were stirring into luxuriant blossoming1 although all these things filled her with throbbing delight4 ,the deeper root of her joy was in the satisfaction1 so long delayed1 of her passion for brotherhood with lowly men and poor2 the release from the constraint of artificial conventions1 and from the painful sense1 which she could never escape in the years of her ,fulham life1 that she owed to every weary toiler who passed her on the street an apology for her own leisure1 her luxury and ease4 ,suddenly ,anna rose1 and stood facing the west1 her eyes full of light4 ,a voice within her had called and said3-- 8,i can write poetry now1 and ,i will60 ,the fulness of energy of joy and fulfilment in her spirit sought expression as naturally as the mountain spring sought its outlet in the fountain below4 ,just then her neighbour1 in the house on the left1--it was the dining-house1--put her head out of the window and said1 reflectively3-- 8,say1 ,sister ,benigna1 ,i wish ,i knew how to get the dinner up into the woods to the men-folks4 ,it's half-past eleven and time it went this minute1 and ,charley has gone down to ,spalding after the mail2 but ,i suppose it's late or something4 ,anyway he ain't here1 and ,i've got the rest to wait on40 8,why1 ,i could take the dinner pails up to them1 ,sister ,amanda10 answered ,anna1 obligingly4 ,the 8men-folks0 alluded to were of her own group of families and were felling lumber in the woods north of the valley4 8,you couldn't do it alone1 but ,frulein ,frieda1 she'd be tickled to death to go with you4 ,there she is now10 and ,sister ,amanda flew to the cabin door through which a neatly ordered dinner table could be seen1 and shouted down the slope to the young ,german teacher who had just come over the bridge with some books on her arm from the library4 ,a few moments later ,anna sallied out from the house with ,frieda1 both carrying well-stored dinner pails4 8,no matter10 said ,anna1 smiling at the sudden diversion from her poetic inspiration2 8it is better to live brotherhood than to sing brotherhood4 ,but some day1 maybe1 yet1 ,i shall sing40 ,,chapter ,,xxxi ,heaven's gift takes earth's abatement6 ,he who smites the rock and spreads the water1 ,bidding drink and live a crowd beneath him1 ,even he1 the minute makes immortal1 ,proves1 perchance1 but mortal in the minute1 ,desecrates1 belike1 the deed in doing4 --,,robert ,,browning4 ,relays of men had been at work in the woods clothing the steep banks of the ravine above ,fraternia for three days1 even while the rain was falling in torrents4 ,it was absolutely necessary to secure the lumber while the river was of a depth to carry it down stream1 and for a time all other work was in abeyance4 ,gregory had worked steadily with the rest at the wood cutting1 but ,keith had told ,anna the night before that on ,saturday morning he would be obliged to go down to ,spalding1 the small town in the plain below the valley1 on urgent business concerning notes which were coming due and must be extended if possible4 ,it was therefore with great surprise that ,anna1 as they approached the spot where the men were at work1 heard ,frieda exclaim3-- 8,there is the master himself2 see1 ,sister ,benigna60 ,they had had a merry scramble up the gorge1 but a hard one4 ,the swollen stream had submerged the narrow path by which the ascent was commonly made1 and it was only by finding the footholds cut out by the men with their axes in the earth of the dripping1 slippery bank above1 that ,anna and her companion had been able to make their way on4 ,holding their pails with one hand and clinging to overhanging branches or roots of ferns and laurel with the other1 shaking the splashes of rain from the dripping leaves as they struck their faces1 the two had scrambled breathlessly forward2 and now1 at length1 the welcome sound of the axe greeted their ears1 and they saw a little beyond1 strewing the underbrush1 the new chips and shining splinters of stripped bark which told that trees had recently been felled4 ,anna had just stopped to exclaim3-- 8,how good it smells1 ,frieda1--such a wild1 pure smell60 and was laughing at her own choice of adjectives1 when ,frieda had called her attention to ,john ,gregory4 ,he was standing at no great distance from them in the midst of the rapid1 roaring creek where the water reached nearly to the tops of his high boots1 and1 with a strong pole in both hands1 was directing the course of the logs1 which were eddying wildly about him on the surface of the torrent1 into the proper channel which should carry them down stream4 ,frieda's voice attracted his attention to their approach1 and without pause he strode through the water1 leaped up the bank and was promptly in the path1 if it could be called such1 before them1 holding out both hands to relieve them of their burdens1 and smiling a cordial greeting4 ,anna's cheeks wore a vivid flush4 8,then you did not go to ,spalding80 she asked1 seeking to quiet the confusion of her surprise and the immoderate beating of her heart4 ,frieda1 she saw gratefully1 was quite as excited2 it was so unusual for ,mr4 ,gregory to bestow attentions of this sort upon them2 it was not strange that one should be a little stirred4 8,no10 he said1 leading on in the now broadening path1 8,i found ,i could send a letter by ,charley1 and the men rather needed a long-legged fellow like myself up here this morning4 ,but ,i see that my doing this has reacted unexpectedly upon you4 ,charley not being on hand to bring the dinner1 our ladies have had to take his place10 and ,gregory turned toward them as he spoke with regret and apology which were evidently sincere4 8,are you very tired80 he asked simply1 looking at ,frieda but speaking to ,anna4 ,they both declared that it had been great fun and they were not in the least tired2 and indeed the bright bloom of their cheeks1 and the laughter in their eyes1 and the elastic firmness of their steps were sufficient reassurance4 8,i think1 ,mr4 ,gregory10 said ,anna1 quite at her ease now1 8that ,fraternia women can never know anything of that disease of civilization1 nervous prostration4 ,it will become extinct in one spot at least40 8#8,more honoured in the breach than the observance1'0 quoted ,gregory1 8we shall hail its loss40 ,soon they reached a little clearing1 where1 the underbrush trampled down1 the rugged steepness of the bank declining to a gentler slope1 and the sun having found full entrance by reason of the removal of the larger trees1 there was a possibility of finding a dry place to rest4 ,here they were soon joined by half a dozen men1 several of whom had brought their dinner with them1 and preparations were made for a fire to heat the coffee which filled one of the pails brought by ,anna and ,frieda4 ,the other was solidly packed with sweet1 wholesome brown bread and butter and thick slices of meat4 ,the fat pine chips and splinters burned readily in spite of the all-pervading dampness1 and the coffee-pail1 suspended over this small camp-fire from a hastily improvised tripod1 was soon sending up a deliciously fragrant steam4 ,the men treated the two women as if they had been foreign princesses1 covering a great tree-trunk with their coats for a kind of throne for them1 and serving them with coffee in tin cups with much flourish of mock ceremony4 ,this part of the proceedings ,john ,gregory watched from a little distance1 leaning against a tree1 a smile of quiet pleasure in his eyes4 ,he refused the coffee for himself1 drinking always and only water1 but ate the bread and meat they handed him with hearty relish and a vast appetite4 ,by a sort of inevitable gravitation1 almost before the meal was concluded1 ,frieda had strayed off into the woods with ,matt ,taylor1 son of ,anna's neighbour1 whose devotion to her was one of the especial interests for ,fraternia folk that spring4 ,a certain view from the crest of the hill beyond the little clearing was by no means to be missed4 ,then1 one after the other1 the men took up their axes and returned to their work2 but ,john ,gregory kept his place1 and still stood leaning against the tree1 facing ,anna1 the smouldering embers of the fire between4 ,he had been speaking on a subject in which all had been interested1--the prayer test advocated by ,mr4 ,tyndall1 which had attracted the attention of the scientific and religious world of that time4 ,the men had gone away reluctantly1 leaving the conversation to these two4 ,heretofore ,anna had hardly spoken1 but now with deepening seriousness she said3-- 8,i feel the crude1 incredible impertinence of such a test as this which ,mr4 ,tyndall has proposed1 and yet it brings up very keenly to me my own attitude for many years40 ,gregory looked a question1 but did not speak1 and ,anna went on3-- 8,a good woman whom ,i once heard speak at ,mrs4 ,ingraham's in ,burlington gave me an idea of prayer1 quite new to me then1 but which ,i at least partially accepted1 and which has had its effect on my inner life ever since40 8,it was--80 8,that we were to pray to ,god for every small material interest of life1 and were to expect definite1 concrete1 physical return4 ,that if such was not our experience it was because we were not dwelling near ,god1 and were out of harmony with him4 ,this life of answered prayer and perfect demonstrable union which she described was called the #8higher life4'0 8,what was your own experience80 8,it has been a long experience of spiritual defeat4 ,i prayed for years for every temporal need1 asked for whatever ,i deeply desired1 and--never--perhaps there was one exception1 but hardly more--received an answer to my praying which ,i could fairly assume to be such40 ,anna's face was profoundly sad1 as she spoke1 with the sense of the baffling disappointments of years4 8,in the end what has been the effect on you80 8,i have ceased to pray at all1 ,mr4 ,gregory4 ,i know that sounds very harsh1 perhaps very wrong1 but ,i lost the expectation of a response1 and the constant defeat and failure made me bitter and unbelieving4 ,god seemed only to mock my prayers1 not to fulfil4 ,it seemed to me at last that ,i was dishonouring him by praying1 and that waiting in silence and patience was shown to be my portion4 ,do you think that was sinful80 ,anna raised her eyes timidly to ,gregory's face with this question1 and met the repose and steady confidence of it with a swift presentiment of comfort4 8,no10 he answered2 8,i think you were simply struggling to release yourself from the meshes of the net which a mercenary conception of prayer cannot fail to throw over the soul4 ,it was said of ,john ,woolman1 and a holier man never lived1 that he offered no prayers for special personal favours4 ,i believe the theory of prayer of your ,burlington friend not only mistaken1 but dangerous and misleading4 ,instead of such a habit of mind as she described being a #8higher life1' ,i should call it a lower one4 ,the nearer the man comes to ,god1 the less he prays1 not the more1 for definite objective things and externals2 the more he rests on the great good will of ,god4 ,prayer was not designed for man to use to conform a reluctant ,god to his will1 to get things given him1 but to conform the man's own blind and erring will to the divine4 ,by this ,i do not mean to say that no prayers for temporal objects are granted4 ,many have been1 but the soul that feeds itself on this conception of prayer as a system of practical demand and supply lives on husks40 8,but there are many promises80 ,anna said with hesitation4 8,yes10 said ,gregory1 with the emphasis of sure conviction1 crossing the space between them to stand directly before her1 forgetting all his usual scruples2 8but you must interpret ,scripture by ,scripture1 by the whole tendency and purpose1 not by isolated mottoes which men like to drag out for spiritual decoration1 breaking off short all their roots which reach down into the solid rock of universal ,truth6 ,look at our ,lord himself--did he ask for #8ease and rest and joys'8 ,it is only as we enter into his spirit that our prayers are answered1 and that almost means that we shall cease to pray at all for personal benefits4 ,he prayed1 often1 whole nights together1 but was it that he might win his own cause with the people about him8 ,was it not rather for the multitudes upon whom he had compassion1 and that ,god the ,father should be made manifest in himself8 ,ah1 ,sister ,benigna1 few of us have sounded the depths of this great subject of prayer4 ,it is one of the deepest things of ,god2 and1 believe me1 it is not until we have cast out utterly the last shred of the notion of childish coaxing of ,god to do what will please us1 that we can catch some small perception of its meaning4 ,but let me say just one thing more3 you are too young to count any prayer unanswered4 ,at present you see in part and interpret ,god's dealings only in part4 ,at the end of life your interpretation will be larger1 calmer than it is now4 ,we #8change the cruel prayers we made1' and even here live to praise ,god that they are broken away #8in his broad1 loving will4'0 ,anna sat in silence1 her eyes downcast1 slowly passing in review the nature of her own most ardent prayers and the deep anguish and doubt of their non-fulfilment4 ,not one1 she saw1 could bear the high test of likeness to the mind of ,christ1 not one but had its admixture of selfishness1 not one but seemed poor and vain in this new light4 ,a nobler conception of the relation of her soul to ,god seemed to dawn within her4 ,she looked up then1 and saw upon ,gregory's face that inner illumination which belongs to the religious genius4 ,the look of it smote her eyes as if with white and dazzling light1 and they fell as if it were impossible to bear it4 ,then she rose1 and they stood for a moment alone and in silence1 while a sense of measureless content overflowed ,anna's spirit1 and for an instant made time and space and human relations as if they were not4 ,so strong upon her was the sense of uplift from the contact with the spirit of ,gregory4 ,she hardly knew at first that the incredible had happened4 ,john ,gregory had taken her hand in his1 with reverent gentleness1 for some seconds4 ,he was asking her if he had been able to help her in any wise1 and asking it as if he cared very much4 ,she said 8yes10 quite simply1 and turned to go4 ,frieda was coming back1 and they were lingering over long4 ,slowly they descended the rugged path before them1 for a strange trepidation had come over ,anna1--a vague1 new1 disturbing joy4 ,,chapter ,,xxxii ,what went ye out into the wilderness for to see8444 ,a man clothed in soft raiment8 ,behold1 they which are gorgeously apparelled1 and live delicately1 are in kings' courts4--,st4 ,luke's ,gospel4 ,instead of the masterly good humour1 and sense of power1 and fertility of resource in himself2 instead of those strong and learned hands1 those piercing and learned eyes1 that supple body1 and that mighty and prevailing heart1 which the father had1 whom nature loved and feared1 whom snow and rain1 water and land1 beast and fish1 seemed all to know and to serve1 we have now a puny1 protected person1 guarded by walls and curtains1 stoves and down-beds1 coaches1 and menservants and women-servants from the earth and the sky4--,r4 ,w4 ,,emerson4 ,the spring passed in ,fraternia1 and the summer4 ,not again did ,john ,gregory and ,anna come into direct personal communication4 ,they went indeed their several ways with a steadier avoidance of this than before1 from an undefined1 but instinctive1 sense of danger4 ,nevertheless1 the fact that they breathed the same air and shared the same lot in life sufficed to yield in the heart of each an unfailing spring of contentment2 while now and again it would happen that ,anna1 in her schoolroom or cottage1 and ,gregory1 at his work1 lifting their eyes at a footstep or a shadow1 would be aware that the other had drawn near and passed by1 and contentment would give place to nameless joy4 ,the poetic impulse which ,anna had inherited from both parents1 but the expression of which had been stifled by the deadening of her high desires which life in ,fulham had brought1 now developed unchecked4 ,many influences promoted this development3 her clear child-delight in the rich life of nature about her1 the release of her long-cabined spiritual energy1 and the stimulation of her powers of discernment and interpretation by contact with the strong intellectual power of ,gregory4 ,gregory was1 in the simple system of life in ,fraternia1 at once prophet1 priest1 and king2 and his most potent influence over the people was manifest in the ,sunday services and in the evening lectures which1 for lack of a church1 were held in a large empty room on the upper floor of the cotton mill4 ,anna found in these sermons and lectures the strongest intellectual and spiritual food upon which she had ever fared1 and throve apace1 having good faculty of assimilation4 ,the verses which she wrote at intervals from a sudden and almost irresistible impulsion were always1 when completed1 turned over to her husband4 ,proud and pleased at this new gift of ,anna's1 it was ,keith's habit to take them straightway to ,gregory4 ,anna never knew this4 ,she knew1 however1 that her poetry found its way into print1 and now and then1 she found1 into the hearts of sincere people4 ,this was new food for unaffected gladness1 and she was glad4 ,the summer1 although its fierce continuous heat had been hard to bear1 was yet the season par excellence for ,fraternia1 and peace and plenty reigned in the valley4 ,but with the autumn came a change1 gradual at first1 but later strongly accented4 ,the wholesome occupations of the spring and summer came1 of necessity1 to a standstill4 ,there was now little vent for the energy and working force of the people1 while the scant resources of the narrow valley offered nothing to counteract a dull ennui which settled like a palpable cloud upon them4 ,it had been a bad year for all their crops2 the cotton crop had been a total failure1 and the mill was shut down4 ,this threw nearly fifty of the little community into enforced idleness1 and a smouldering resentment was bred by the discovery that there had never been a profit1 but rather a sustained loss1 on the output of the mill by reason of ,gregory's scruple against selling at any advance beyond the bare cost of production4 ,this principle might have a fine and lofty sound from the lips of an orator1 speaking on broad1 general lines2 but the hard business sense of average men and women rebelled against the concrete results of its application to their own isolated case4 8,if other people did the same1 it might work4 ,for one manufactory alone to attempt it is simply commercial suicide10 they said to each other1 and with justice4 ,it became known1 moreover1 throughout the community1 that a heavy mortgage had been placed on the land1 held by a rich cotton planter in ,south ,carolina1 and that a wide chasm yet intervened between their present condition and that of self-support4 ,a more serious disappointment and a more immediate difficulty1 however1 lay in the inadequacy of their food products to the needs of the people1 and the consequent demand for ready money wherewith to buy the necessities of life4 ,the fare1 hitherto of the simplest1 was gradually made coarser and less palatable1 since better could not be4 ,winter was coming on2 open-air life had become impossible2 fierce winds coming down through the gorge swept the valley1 and scattered the foliage of the forest1 while a grey and sullen sky hung over1 and every day brought chilly rains4 ,there was some sickness1 of a mild nature1 but it emphasized the discomfort and inconveniences of the homes4 ,the prospect for the coming months in ,fraternia grew grim4 ,the enthusiasm of novelty had tided the little community over the two preceding winters1 but some stronger upholding must evidently now be interposed2 for the people openly murmured1 and began to say to each other sullenly1 as once another company1 8,were we brought out into this wilderness to die8 ,as for this food1 our soul loathes it40 ,keenly conscious of the criticism of which he was now the subject1 ,gregory withdrew proudly more and more within himself1 and touched less and less familiarly the life of those about him4 ,it was well known that he deprived himself of all better fare than coarse bread and the water from the spring1 that he had unhesitatingly devoted his last dollar to the enterprise so near his heart1 and the patience and courage of the man were unfailing4 ,but what of that8 ,it was his own enterprise1 with which he must stand or fall4 ,why should he not risk everything and bear everything8 ,for the rest it was different4 ,they1 too1 had given their money1 and they had left their ceiled houses and their goodly fleshpots and their pleasant social commerce to further his project6 ,they at least expected ,christian food6 ,crossing the bridge from the library1 on a raw afternoon late in ,november1 ,anna ,burgess met a woman of her own age1 a woman of cheerful1 sensible temperament and habit1 the wife of the architect1 whom she had known in ,burlington4 ,the husband1 ,george ,hanson1 had surrendered with unconditional devotion to ,gregory's teaching1 and the wife1 in loyal sympathy1 although herself by no means an idealist1 had gathered her little brood of children and a few household treasures together1 and had come to ,fraternia with him4 ,as she approached the bridge1 ,mrs4 ,hanson1 holding up her wet skirts with both hands1 cried to ,anna3-- 8,oh1 how ,i hate this red mud6 ,don't you8 ,it seems to me ,i could stand it better if it were not this horrid colour4 ,one can never get away from it1 or lose sight of it40 ,anna1 who thus far1 with only a few others1 still kept heart and courage unbroken through this gloomy season1 replied cheerfully that she rather liked the colour4 ,mrs4 ,hanson gave a mournful sigh4 8,you like ,fraternia anyway1 don't you1 ,sister ,benigna8 ,you always did80 ,anna smiled at the navet of the question1 and assented4 8,i must like what ,i have chosen above all other things40 8,well1 ,i confess ,i never did like it1 and ,i never shall4 ,oh1 it will do very well for a summer vacation if one could be sure of getting safe home at the end4 ,but as for a life like this6 and when it comes to bringing up children here6--0 and ,mrs4 ,hanson's voice broke into a suppressed sob4 8,i am sorry10 said ,anna1 gently4 8,oh1 ,sister ,benigna60 cried the other1 letting loose the floodgates of her tears1 while they still stood on the bridge in the piercing rain1 8,i never was so homesick in my life6 ,when ,i hear my children asking if they are not going home to see grandma pretty soon1 it just breaks my heart4 ,they have no appetite for this hard meat and coarse bread1 and they look so white and thin1 and plead so for a good old-fashioned turkey dinner6 ,i have a little money of my own1 and ,i would spend every cent of it for better food for them1 but ,mr4 ,hanson1 he says that would be unjust to the rest who cannot have such things1 and that all must share alike4 ,he says it would cost a hundred dollars to give one such dinner as the children want to the whole village40 8,i suppose that is true10 said ,anna1 seriously2 8and then it would only be harder to come back--0 8,to prison fare10 ,mrs4 ,hanson interjected with unconcealed bitterness4 8,well1 all ,i have to say is that1 if this is coperation1 ,i've had all ,i want of it4 ,as for #8the brotherhood of man1' ,i wish ,i may never hear of it again as long as ,i live6 ,i believe we have some duties to ourselves40 ,with this she passed slowly on1 and ,anna hastened homeward1 a deep pang in her heart4 ,entering her own house1 she found ,keith1 pale and dispirited1 leaning with outstretched hands over the fire in an attitude unpleasantly suggestive of decrepitude and want4 ,he looked up as ,anna came in1 and smiled faintly4 8,i think ,i have taken a fresh cold10 he said hoarsely2 8this climate is lovely half the year1 but the other half--0 and he left the sentence unfinished1 coughing sharply4 ,anna sat down by the hearth and removed her mud-sodden shoes1 afterward hastening to prepare such scanty remedies for ,keith as the cabin afforded4 ,there was a dispensary down at the mill4 ,she would go down for medicine as soon as she had made him comfortable4 ,on the surface of her mind lay the habit of sympathy and care for her husband's fragile health1 but in the depth below was a sense she could not have formulated to herself of resentment at his lack of courage and fortitude4 ,for ,keith1 although too finely courteous to share in the open murmuring of the people1 was himself in the full swing of reaction from the comparative enthusiasm which he had felt six months ago4 ,the fall weather had brought on ague1 which1 added to his chronic physical weakness1 made him altogether wretched2 and while he punctiliously avoided contributing to the public discontent1 ,anna perceived and understood perfectly his weariness with the enterprise4 ,for the first time in their married life his patience and sweetness of temper failed2 he had grown irritable1 and fretted at small inconveniences in a way which chafed ,anna's hardier spirit indescribably4 8,i am very sorry1 ,keith1 you are so miserable to-day10 ,anna said now1 with half-mechanical commiseration4 ,it chanced that1 as she had come on her way home from the little conversation with ,mrs4 ,hanson1 a new sympathy had taken possession of her for the lonely man upon whom fell the full burden of all this reaction1 but who bore it with such unflinching patience1 albeit so silently4 ,almost inevitably1 her mind being thus absorbed1 the sympathy with ,keith in his familiar ailments and complaints was rendered perfunctory for the time1 and by comparison his weakness wore to her some complexion of unmanliness4 ,perhaps ,keith discerned a shade of coldness in her tone1 and was stirred by it4 8,i am sure ,i do not know10 he said with significant emphasis1 8how long ,i can stand this condition of things4 ,you must see1 ,anna1 that ,i am losing ground from day to day4 ,look at my hands60 and he held out his left hand to her1 clammy and cold1 for all the yellow blaze1 wasted and thin even to emaciation4 ,anna took the hand in hers1 and caressed it with womanly gentleness1 murmuring that it was too bad1 and something must be done2 he certainly was not properly nourished4 8,why1 ,anna10 the poor fellow cried1 warmed by her compassion1 8,i would give all my #8incomes from dreamland1' all the fine-spun theories of economic religion and social salvation that ,gregory or any other idealist ever dreamed of1 to be for just one day in our own dear old library1 warmed all through1 floor warm1 walls warm--everything1 you know2 to see you1 beautifully dressed again1 at your own table1 with its silver and damask2 to have the service we always had2 and once1 just once1 ,anna--to have all the hot water ,i want for a bath60 ,anna smiled1 but forebore to speak4 ,the echo of ,mrs4 ,hanson's wail was almost too much for her1 and yet she pitied and understood4 ,pioneers must be made of sterner stuff1 that was all2 men who1 like ,emerson's genius1 should 8learn to eat their meals standing1 and to relish the taste of fair water and black bread40 ,were there such men8 ,she knew one4 ,she almost began to doubt if there were any more4 ,a few moments later she brought ,keith a tray containing tea and toast1 served with such little elegance as was possible1 and with the daintiness of shining linen and silver4 8,we must find a way for you to spend the winter in a different climate10 she said1 as she stood beside him4 ,she spoke very kindly1 but with the inward sense of concession as of the stronger to the weaker4 8,you certainly cannot remain here if this ague continues40 ,keith watched her gratefully1 as she prepared to go out again1 sure of some effective help when her strong determination was enlisted4 ,the last six months had revealed his wife to him as six years had not done before4 ,as she was about leaving1 he said thoughtfully3-- 8,anna1 ,i am not the only one to be anxious about4 ,perhaps you do not know it fully1 but the whole scheme of ,fraternia is on the edge of collapse40 8,how do you mean1 dear80 she asked1 alarmed4 8,through lack of funds4 ,he says very little1 but ,i can see that ,gregory has practically reached the end of his resources and expectations40 ,anna's face showed her great concern4 8,i did not know it was so bad10 she answered4 8,oh1 ,keith1 would you not be willing to help out a little more8 ,i know you have been wonderfully generous1 but some one must come up to the point of real sacrifice and save the day4 ,you could sell the ,mill ,street property1 you know80 and the timid tone of her final question contrasted strangely with that in which she had begun speaking4 ,it was the expression of ,keith's face which had dashed ,anna's confidence4 ,she had never seen him look so much like his mother as when he replied4 8,no1 my dear1 ,i shall have to stand my ground10 he said1 8and abide by the terms ,i first proposed4 ,my mother's estate is not to be sacrificed for this doubtful experiment4 ,more than ever before ,i feel the problematic nature of ,gregory's scheme4 ,we must provide for our own future as well as for his present crisis40 ,it was hard1 ,anna felt1 as she started out again alone into the wind and rain1 not to reflect that1 perhaps1 the sooner the experiment proved a failure the better ,keith would be satisfied4 ,she struggled against a rising sense of anger which the separation of their interest from ,gregory's gave her1 at the characteristic caution1 the irritating prudence1 the old familiar inflexibility1 so like his mother4 ,keith's decision chafed her all the more because something warned her1 in her own despite1 that he was after all justified in it4 ,but the contrast between his softness of yielding toward his own desires for luxury1 and the hardness of his withholding from the bare needs of another1 came just then into unfortunate juxtaposition4 ,the attitude of ,keith toward ,gregory was complex and peculiar4 ,when in the immediate presence of this man he was brought under his personal influence to a degree which even ,anna often found surprising4 ,gregory's intensely masculine and forceful nature appeared to exert an almost irresistible control over the younger man so long as they were together4 ,as soon1 however1 as ,keith was removed from that immediate influence1 he reverted at once to an attitude not only critical toward ,gregory1 but at times1 and as if instinctively1 antagonistic4 ,anna went on her way down the valley to the cotton mill with a sore and heavy heart4 ,on other days she could rejoice even in a leaden sky1 in the muddy1 sullen stream1 in the stripped branches of the forest2 but to-night1 for twilight was falling now1 all seemed clothed in that oppressive ugliness of ,tennyson's picture3-- 8,when the rotten woodland drips1 ,and the leaf is stamped in clay40 ,reaching the mill1 dark and silent otherwise1 she noted a light in ,gregory's office and the sound of voices1 but the door was closed4 ,she passed through the corridor to the small room beyond which was used as a dispensary4 ,pushing open the door she found the room empty2 the young man whose charge it was seemed to have betaken himself otherwhere over early4 ,however1 ,anna's knowledge of drugs was not inconsiderable1 and in this case she knew precisely what ,keith needed and where to find it4 ,so she proceeded without delay to place on the small polished counter which stretched across the narrow room1 the necessary ingredients for a certain powder1 and then carefully mixed these in the proportion called for by her simple prescription4 ,while she was thus occupied she noticed with a sense of discomfort that the voices in the office1 only divided from her now by a thin partition1 grew louder and took on a disagreeable quality4 ,presently the door of the office was opened1 and some one hastened from the building in evident impatience1 leaving the door wide open4 ,there was complete silence for a moment1 and then ,anna heard ,john ,gregory speak4 ,she could not fail to hear every word1 although his voice was not raised1 and its wonted quietness and courtesy were unchanged4 8,you will bear me witness1 nevertheless1 ,mr4 ,hanson10 he said1 8that ,i never promised an easy life for those who came with me to ,fraternia4 ,i declared plainly that simplicity and poverty and roughness were to be accepted as necessary conditions40 8,that is all very well10 a voice replied1 which ,anna recognized as that of the ,burlington architect1 whose wife had evidently been working upon him2 8but when simplicity means starvation for delicate women and children1 and poverty begins to look like bankruptcy1 the situation strikes me as pretty serious4 ,all ,i have to say is10 and the man's voice rose to a pitch of high excitement1 8you are the dictator here1 and you are responsible2 you've got us into this scrape1 ,mr4 ,gregory1 by working upon our emotions1 and all that1 and now you've got to get us out of it1 somehow60 and with these words ,anna heard the speaker leave the office with rapid steps1 and a moment after the outer door of the mill closed upon him4 ,anna had dropped the powders which she was dividing now into their papers1 and had started to go to the door and close it that she might hear no more2 but before she could do this a step in the corridor which she knew sent her back to her place with a beating heart1 and in another instant ,john ,gregory stood in the doorway4 ,anna had never seen his face changed by any mental agitation1 nor was it now1 save for a touch of weariness and an unwonted pallor4 ,there was a deep1 sunk glow in his eyes1 which1 together with the careless sweep of the grey hair flung off his forehead1 recalled with peculiar emphasis the leonine effect ,anna had often noticed4 ,the habitual grave composure of his manner was in no way disturbed2 and although he could not have known of her presence in the dispensary1 it did not seem to cause him surprise4 8,is some one ill at your house80 he asked with evident concern but characteristic abruptness4 ,he was one of those few persons who do not find it necessary to explain what is self-evident4 8,mr4 ,burgess is not very well10 ,anna replied1 hesitating somewhat1 unwilling to strike another dart into the soreness of his spirit1 which she felt distinctly1 for all his outward firmness4 8,i fear10 ,gregory said thoughtfully1 8that ,mr4 ,burgess ought not to remain in ,fraternia this winter4 ,i am very much afraid that his health will suffer4 ,both of you deserve a little change10 he continued1 with a slight smile1 the pathos of which ,anna felt sharply4 8,fraternia is not so pleasant at this time of year4 ,why do you not go ,north for a few months8 ,you would come back to us in the spring--perhaps80 ,the apparent carelessness which he wished to convey to this question contrasted strangely with the piercing anxiety of the look with which ,gregory's eyes searched ,anna's face4 ,she understood the instinctive desire to forestall another attack1 to take for granted an impending blow4 ,quietly working at her powders1 laughing a little1 by sheer effort of will1 since tears were near the surface1 she replied3-- 8,i could not be spared1 ,mr4 ,gregory1 this winter4 ,i see you are a little disposed to undervalue my services4 ,there are several cases of sickness now1 and ,i am vain enough to think ,i am needed4 ,besides1 you know1 ,i love ,fraternia4 ,i do not want to go away from home40 ,the minor arts of coquetry were all unknown and foreign to ,anna1 but the genius of her woman's nature and intuition was thrown into the last sentence with full effect4 ,the strong spirit of ,gregory1 which could meet the assaults and buffets of reproach and detraction without shrinking1 and which would have rejected express sympathy1 was mastered for a minute by the delicate comprehension and implied fidelity of ,anna's words4 ,she knew better than to see the momentary suspicion of dimness in his eyes1 or to note the silence which for a little space he did not care to break4 ,when at last he spoke1 it was to ask1 in a wholly matter-of-fact manner3-- 8,have ,i not heard that ,mr4 ,burgess was a particularly successful public speaker80 ,anna looked up quickly then4 8,you may have heard it1 for ,i am sure it is true10 she said4 ,another pause for reflection1 and then ,gregory said3-- 8,it is becoming urgently necessary that the purpose and future of ,fraternia should be promoted by some one capable of going about1 particularly in the cities1 and presenting our aims publicly--before audiences of people40 ,anna had gathered up her powders now and put them in her pocket and stood ready to go but she stopped1 and her face kindled with swift recognition and welcome of the thought in ,gregory's mind4 8,and you have thought that ,mr4 ,burgess might do this1 and so still serve the cause and yet do it for a while under easier conditions80 she exclaimed4 8,mr4 ,gregory1 ,i cannot tell you how glad ,i should be if this plan could be carried out4 ,i am really a little anxious about my husband4 ,i am sure this would work well for every one1 and it might solve several problems at once40 ,he smiled1 a little sadly1 at her confident eagerness1 said they must consider it seriously1 and then stood aside to let her pass out and go home4 ,it was not necessary for him to say1 as he bade her good night1 that he wished it were expedient for him to walk home with her4 ,she understood his theory of what was wise for himself in such matters4 ,she approved it4 ,nevertheless1 she found it hard to leave him alone just then in the deserted mill4 ,half-way back she met ,everett1 plodding through the mud1 with his hands in his pockets1 and whistling1 to keep his spirits up1 she fancied4 8,be extra good to ,mr4 ,gregory to-night10 she said1 womanlike1 unable to resist the longing to help1 as he paused a moment4 8,why80 he asked1 frowning2 8have they been at him again80 ,anna nodded and passed on1 afraid to say more4 8,fools60 he murmured between his teeth1 and plunged on against the wind4 ,but ,anna went home with a beatific vision to soothe her spirit1 of ,keith comfortable at last in a good hotel1 with menus and waiters1 bells and bathrooms1 in an infinite series4 ,,chapter ,,xxxiii 8,lo1 fool10 he said1 8ye talk ,fool's treason2 is the king thy brother fool80 ,then little ,dagonet clapt his hands and shrill'd1 8,ay1 ay1 my brother fool1 the king of fools6 ,conceits himself as ,god that he can make ,figs out of thistles1 silk from bristles1 milk ,from burning spurge1 honey from hornet combs1 ,and men from beasts--,long live the ,king of fools60 --,,tennyson4 ,but yours the cold heart and the murderous tongue1 ,the wintry soul that hates to hear a song1 ,the close-shut fist1 the mean and measuring eye1 ,and all the little poisoned ways of wrong4 --,,the ,,rubaiyat4 ,everett had improvised a studio in a low loft over the bachelors' quarters1 contiguous to the cabin which he and ,gregory shared4 ,it was necessary1 he said1 for him to get down to hard work now4 ,that hedging and ditching nonsense was great sport for a man's holidays1 but he had no more time to play2 he must paint4 ,the work he had produced in ,fulham had not been1 often1 especially salable or popular in its character1 a certain mystic quality pervading it not readily understood by casual observers4 ,all that1 he declared1 was now to be rigidly excluded from his painting2 he should paint to sell--cheap1 pretty things1 picturesque1 palpable4 ,with this purpose he had set to work with a will1 and by ,february had a few hundred dollars to turn over to the treasury as the fruit of his industry4 ,his pictures were sold in the ,north through ,keith ,burgess as intermediary4 ,he was hard at work in the studio at nine o'clock on a night in ,february1 laying in the outline for a bit of the valley which he declared he could paint now with his eyes shut1 he had done it so often1 having found it 8a good seller10 when he heard ,gregory's step on the stairs4 ,that the boy had just brought the mail up from ,spalding ,everett knew1 having heard the horse galloping over the bridge1 and stopping before the house4 ,gregory came in now with several letters in his hand1 one open4 ,he did not speak at first1 and ,everett let him walk up and down the place undisturbed1 seeing that he was peculiarly perplexed1 probably by the open letter1 which ,everett noticed was in ,keith ,burgess's handwriting4 ,after a few moments he remarked slowly1 but with an unusually incisive quality in his tone3-- 8,burgess is a singularly prudent little man4 ,did it ever strike you so80 8,he has some capacity1 however1 for the opposite quality40 ,everett threw out this remark with no manifestation of especial interest1 and it seemed to pass unnoticed4 8,having it in his power10 ,gregory continued1 with the same incisive deliberation1 8to extricate us from our whole present difficulty himself1 with the utmost ease1 he yet jogs about the country after a comfortable fashion1 presenting the subject publicly as occasion offers1 and sends me back such letters as this40 ,lifting the sheet in his hand1 ,gregory read from it3-- 8,i held a meeting last night in ,grand ,rapids1 to which ,i have been working up carefully for over a week through the press1 etc4 ,the attendance was fair1 and the people listened well4 ,i regret1 however1 to be obliged to report that the practical results of the meeting were not all that we could have wished--0 and dropping the letter1 ,gregory added3-- 8,and so on1 copiously1 through nearly four pages of matchless ambiguity and polite phrases1 which could all have been condensed to the usual sum total of his reports2 thus far1 nothing60 8,still1 ,mr4 ,gregory1 we must remember that he did pretty well for the first few weeks40 8,yes10 said ,gregory1 nodding a short assent1 8while he was covering the field which was ready for harvest--seeing the men already committed to the cause4 ,we can evidently expect nothing more from him4 ,what kind of a speaker is he1 ,everett80 8,good1 really very good as a special pleader4 ,he had very fair success when he was missionary secretary40 8,i wonder at it10 murmured ,gregory1--8a mild1 prudent little man like that with his perpetual fears and scruples2 ,i cannot fancy his ever letting himself go40 ,everett1 unwontedly sober and silent1 worked on4 ,gregory paced the room for a little while4 ,he wanted to ask ,everett how ,keith's marriage with a woman like ,anna could ever have come about1 but he could not bring himself to frame the question1 and presently left the studio4 ,hanging about the door below1 ,gregory found ,barnabas ,rosenblatt1 apparently waiting to speak with him4 8,hello60 said ,gregory1 not unkindly1 but shortly4 8,do you want me80 8,well1 shust a minit1 if ,herr ,gregory vas not too busy10 and the little ,jew shuffled along by ,gregory's side until they reached the door of the cabin4 ,gregory brought his visitor in and gave him a chair1 then stirred up a smouldering fire and threw on a piece of pine1 which1 flaring up into a sudden blaze1 made other light unnecessary4 ,the reflection of the yellow flames played weirdly over the walls1 and ,barnabas seemed unable to withdraw his eyes from the picture above the chimney4 8,our lady10 he said simply1 nodding across at ,gregory1 and closing his eyes impressively4 8,well1 ,barnabas1 what is it you want80 asked his host4 8,it's our lady10 said ,barnabas1 sniffing quite vigorously2 8das is it4 ,how she fall off60 and he shook his head with a slow1 mournful motion4 8,fall off what8 ,i do not understand1 ,barnabas4 ,you are speaking of ,sister ,benigna80 ,gregory's face changed4 8,so--so--0 and the little man nodded emphatically4 8,she's got awful poor6 ,oh1 my6 ,her bones comes right through zu next4 ,my ,kleine1 she say our lady don't eat notin's1 shust only leetle1 leetle milk1 an' work1 work1 work1 like a holy angel everywheres at one time1 up an' down the valley2 sick folks an' well folks1 all derselbe4 ,light come all place she come60 and ,barnabas relapsed into meditative silence1 having found his vocabulary hard tested by this prolonged statement4 8,do you mean that ,sister ,benigna is sick80 asked ,gregory1 with slight sharpness4 8,ja1 ja1 ,herr ,gregory2 she has went home sick heut' abend from the sew class down to der mill4 ,when she go1 all go4 ,fraternia ohne ,sister ,benigna10 and the little man drew his shoulders quite up to his ears in a characteristic shrug strongly expressive of a thing unthinkable4 ,gregory rose1 ,barnabas following his example4 8,i will go over and inquire10 he said1 taking his hat1 and they left the house at once4 ,the night was cold1 a light fall of snow lay over the valley1 and the stars glittered from a frosty sky4 ,when they reached the neighbourhood of ,anna's cottage ,gregory sent ,barnabas up to the door1 while he waited at a little distance4 ,in a few moments ,frieda1 who now shared ,anna's cabin1 joined him1 while ,barnabas1 with the action of a waiting watch-dog1 humble1 and yet with a due sense of responsibility1 hung about near by4 ,frieda's account was reassuring1 as far as immediate solicitude for ,anna was concerned2 she had come home ill from the afternoon sewing class1 and had a chill1 headache1 and fever4 ,she was resting now1 and would doubtless be up again in a day or two4 8,nothing can keep her down1 ,mr4 ,gregory10 ,frieda said in conclusion4 8,i am not frightened just now1 but we all see plainly that ,sister ,benigna is killing herself by inches4 ,she eats hardly anything1 and yet works as if there were no limit to her strength4 ,sometimes ,i think she is just laying down her very life for us here in ,fraternia1 and we're not worth it10 and with this ,frieda's voice broke a little1 and without stopping to say more she hurried back4 ,gregory bade ,barnabas good night hastily1 and then1 instead of going home1 he walked rapidly down the rough road to the mill1 unlocked the door1 and went into his office and sat down at his desk4 ,his face had changed strangely2 it had grown grey and his lips were tightly compressed4 ,he sat long in motionless silence1 thinking intensely4 ,although he had himself watched ,anna with growing uneasiness1 the suggestions of ,frieda and ,barnabas came upon him with startling effect4 ,he asked himself now with unsparing definiteness whether this was indeed the final turn of the wheel of torture on which he was bound1 or whether he could wait for another4 ,the conviction was upon him1 stark and stern1 that in the end he should yield and seek the one means of escape which was still open to him1 and which he had been holding off with almost dogged resolution4 ,he recalled the shaping of events in ,anna's life during the last few months1 and his face softened4 ,late in ,november1 when ,keith went ,north1 she had accompanied him1 having been sent for by her sister ,lucia4 ,their mother1 ,gulielma ,mallison1 upon whom age and infirmity had increased heavily1 had conceived a controlling desire to return to her childhood home1 the ,moravian town of ,bethlehem1 to end her days4 ,anna had visited ,haran therefore1 and had brought her mother back to her early home1 establishing her there in the quiet ,widows' ,house in peace and satisfaction4 ,at ,christmas1 when she returned alone to ,fraternia1 ,anna had seemed to bring with her a new infusion of active and aggressive force4 ,relieved of anxiety for ,keith1 whom she had left in good spirits1 and from the constant ministration to his comfort1 she was now wholly free to devote herself to the common good4 ,with new and contagious ardour she had thrown herself therefore into the life of the discouraged little community1 cheering the faint-hearted and rekindling the flagging purposes of the fickle4 ,she taught the girls and women quaint fashions of embroidery and work on linen which she had learned from her mother1 and inspired them with the ambition to earn something with their needles1 thus dispelling their listlessness4 ,she seemed at times to possess in her own enthusiasm and courage sufficient motive power to energize them all2 she worked and moved among them as if no less a task had been given her1 and with a sweetness and sympathy that never failed4 ,all who watched her wondered at the power in her1 and many who had murmured hitherto now declared themselves ashamed1 and responded willingly4 ,john ,gregory marvelled more and more at the qualities of brilliant leadership which she now developed4 ,within him a voice1 which he could not always silence1 sometimes whispered that if such a nature as that which had been gradually revealed to him in ,anna ,burgess1 in its plenitude of power and its greatness of purpose1 could have been allied to his own1 a movement far beyond what he had even dreamed of in ,fraternia might have been possible4 ,but while a certain renforcement of courage had followed ,anna's strong initiative1 and while in some respects the domestic conditions of the people had been improved and their murmurings for the time partially silenced1 the gravity of the situation and of the prospects for the future as ,gregory saw them remained unchanged4 ,keith's mission had proved unproductive1 as the letter just received emphasized afresh4 ,gregory himself could not leave ,fraternia at this juncture without manifest peril4 ,only his personal influence now availed to hold together many discordant elements which were very actively at work and arrayed against each other4 ,from no quarter could he discern any hope of substantial support4 ,and now1 last of all1 she was laid low2 worse1 they told him she was laying down her life in her devotion to his cause--she1 his one high-hearted1 intrepid1 dauntless ally6 ,bitterly ,gregory said to himself that she who had freely left wealth and station was starving and working to her death to save him from defeat1 and all in vain1 unless--,should he calmly sit by and permit the sacrifice8 ,great of heart as she was1 all her work could not avail1 nor his1 unless aid of another kind could be found1 and that at once4 ,and it could be found2 of that he had little doubt4 ,to find it he must1 indeed1 make a certain compromise1 but it was one which involved only himself1 his own position1--perhaps1 after all1 only his own pride4 ,had he not himself preached against the subtle selfishness which underlies the passion for individual perfection8 ,did not the common good and the larger interests of his cause call for the sacrifice8 ,gregory rose at last and went to the outer door of the mill4 ,it was five o'clock of the ,february morning1 and off to the east a faint yellowish light was climbing up the sky4 ,the mill pond lay dead in its stillness below him2 the water fell quietly1 stilled with ice1 over the dam2 the valley stretched out white and cold2 a mile below was the black belt of the forest1 and beyond1 the dim plain1 with the stars shining over4 ,it was pure and cold and pitiless4 ,in sky or earth no sign of relenting1 no suggestion of a gentler day4 ,but ,gregory was not looking for signs1 or reckoning with omens1 save the omen which had come unasked and taken up its abode in his mind4 ,he was thinking1 not of the scene before him1 nor of the sleeping village behind1 nor even of the outline of the future1 nor of ,anna in her pain and patience4 ,an old story was repeating itself within him of the ancient king to whom the sibyl came bringing nine books1 which1 being offered1 he rejected2 and of how1 in the end1 it had been the fate of the king to desire the three which alone were left1 and to obtain them at a threefold price4 ,presently the door of the mill was closed1 and ,gregory returned to his desk4 ,there was sternness in his face as he set about writing a letter1 and self-disdain and humiliation2 but he wrote on1 and finished the letter1 which he signed and sealed4 ,then1 without further hesitation or pause1 he crossed the road to the mill stables1 brought out and saddled his own horse1 a tall roan1 fit to carry a man of his proportions1 mounted it1 and rode away down the valley toward ,spalding4 ,the letter which he chose to mail with his own hand was addressed to ,senator ,ingraham1 and it stated briefly that the writer had come to the conclusion that his rejection of the generous gift offered him on a certain night known to them both was ill advised1 and that if the same or any part of it were offered him now for the furtherance of his coperative work1 it would not be refused4 ,a week passed1 and ,anna1 protesting that she was as well as ever1 had returned to her regular round of cares4 ,the only change in her appearance was a peculiar whiteness of the tints of her skin1 such that her face at times seemed actually to emit light4 ,the contrast of this whiteness of tint with the masses of her dull1 dark hair and the large1 clear eyes1 full of the changing lights which lurk in hazel eyes1 gave her at this time a startling beauty1 startling because it suggested evanescence4 ,most marked1 ,fraternia people said1 was this phase of ,anna's appearance on a night near the end of another week1 when a large company was gathered in the hall over the mill for an entertainment4 ,anna had been much interested through the winter in a series of author's evenings1 and this chanced to be the occasion for the closing programme of the series4 ,the subject was ,lowell1 and prose had been read and poetry declaimed2 the changes rung on all1--humorous1 pathetic1 and patriotic4 ,the little hall was full and the audience eager for the closing number1 because it was to be given by ,anna herself1 who had a charming gift in rendering poetry4 ,she had chosen a number of passages from the 8,commemoration ,ode10 and as she stood on the platform with its dark crimson background and drapery1 dressed1 as she was habitually when indoors1 in white1 her eyes kindling as she spoke the noble words of the noblest ,american poem1 the audience watched her face with an attention even closer than that with which they listened to her voice4 ,this1 indeed1 showed a slight weakness1 but the eloquence and energy of her spirit subdued it to a deeper pathos1 while its impressiveness was most marked when she reached the close of the fifth strophe1 every word of which to her meant ,john ,gregory3-- 8,but then to stand beside her1 ,when craven churls deride her1 ,to front a lie in arms and never yield1 ,this shows1 methinks1 ,god's plan ,and measure of a stalwart man1 ,limbed like the old1 heroic breeds1 ,fed from within with all the strength he needs40 ,she was half-way through the lines when a striking and incomprehensible change passed over her4 ,her eyes dilated1 then drooped1 her breath almost forsook her1 and her quiet hands clasped each other hard4 ,she continued to speak1 but her voice had lost its tone and timbre4 ,almost mechanically she kept on to the close of the part she had selected1 but those who loved her feared to see her fall before the end4 ,when she reached the room behind the stage1 the faithful ,frieda was waiting to receive her4 ,what had happened8 ,was it merely that ,sister ,benigna was still weak from her illness8 ,as they broke up1 these questions were repeatedly asked among the people4 ,some of them called attention to the fact that while she was speaking a stranger had tiptoed into the hall so noiselessly that only a few persons had been aware of his coming1 but he was a man of so singular a physiognomy and an expression so repellent that a vague connection was felt to link ,anna's agitation with his appearance4 ,this man was ,oliver ,ingraham4 ,anna1 with ,frieda1 hurrying out of the mill alone into the blackness of the starless and stormy night1 and turning homeward1 heard steps approaching1 heavy and hard4 ,some one passed them4 ,anna knew only by the great height and breadth of shoulder1 dimly discerned through the dark1 that it was ,gregory4 ,she stopped1 and he turned1 catching a glimpse of her white face4 8,mr4 ,gregory10 she said1 8,oliver ,ingraham is here4 ,what can it mean80 8,here already60 he cried almost harshly4 8,i have only this moment received a despatch60 and he hastened forward1 as if he might yet interpose some obstacle to this most unwelcome arrival4 ,the words in the despatch1 crumpled fiercely and thrust into ,gregory's pocket1 were these3-- 8,my son will be the bearer of the funds required4 ,trust you will give him the opportunity he desires for study of social problems4 8,,ingraham40 ,it was the first word of reply to his letter which ,gregory had received1 and it was a word which made him set hard his teeth and groan like a wounded lion4 8,perhaps it is fair10 he said to himself1 as he crossed the bridge2 8but ,ingraham's ,nemesis as the price is a higher one than even ,i expected40 ,above1 in the mill hall1 ,oliver was mingling with the people who were in the habit of remaining together for an hour of social interchange after the programme1 on these occasions4 ,he quickly found his old townsman1 ,mr4 ,hanson1 who seemed more amazed than rejoiced to greet him in ,fraternia4 8,stopped over1 eh1 to see our village80 he asked4 8,on your way ,north1 ,i suppose80 8,oh1 no10 said ,oliver1 smiling complacently2 8,i have come straight from home4 ,i have a commission for your czar from my father1 and ,i rather look to throwing in my fortunes with you folks4 ,i want to see how this experiment works2 study it1 you know1 on all sides4 ,if ,i like it1 ,i guess ,i shall stay40 8,oh1 really10 said ,hanson1 a little aghast4 8,how are you getting on1 anyway80 proceeded ,oliver1 craftily4 8,rose-colour washed off yet8 ,has it been pretty idyllic this winter8 ,say1 ,i should think catering for a crowd up in this valley would be quite a job4 ,don't get salads and ices every day1 ,i take it40 ,hanson shook his head impatiently1 longing to get away from the questioner4 8,well10 said ,oliver1 8,i suppose by this time ,gregory the ,great has issued his edicts and made all the poor people rich1 hasn't he8 and all the rich people poor8 ,that seems to be the method of evening up4 ,i don't wonder the poor fellows like it4 ,should think they would40 8,you will know better about us when you have been here awhile1 ,mr4 ,ingraham40 ,oliver nodded cheerfully4 8,oh1 yes1 of course4 ,i am going to take notes1 you see4 ,perhaps ,i'll write it up by and by10 and he tapped the neat note-book which protruded from a pocket of his coat4 8,are all the sinners saints by this time80 he added4 8,hardly40 8,well1 then1 we'll put it the other way10 said ,oliver1 with a peculiar significance in his high voice1 8are the saints all sinners yet80 ,the malicious leer with which this question was accompanied seemed to turn it into a hateful insinuation1 which ,hanson1 with all his half-suppressed discontent1 resented hotly4 ,he was about to make a hasty reply when ,gregory came up and spoke to ,oliver1 to whom he held out his hand4 ,his manner was as cold as could be with decent courtesy1 and when ,oliver had shaken his hand he passed his handkerchief over it with the impulse a man has after touching a slug or a snake4 ,oliver noticed the gesture1 and rubbed his long white hands together reflectively4 ,,chapter ,,xxxiv ,look in my face2 my name is ,might-have-been2 ,i am also called ,no-more1 ,too-late1 ,farewell2 ,unto thine ear ,i hold the dead sea-shell ,cast up thy ,life's foam-fretted feet between2 ,unto thine eyes the glass where that is seen ,which had ,life's form and ,love's1 but by my spell ,is now a shaken shadow intolerable1 ,of ultimate things unuttered1 the frail screen4 ,mark me1 how still ,i am6 --,d4 ,g4 ,,rossetti4 ,it was mid-,april and the afternoon of a day of perfect weather1 of summer rather than spring4 ,the hills around ,fraternia were covered now in sheets of flame-colour1 white and rose1 from the blossoming of the wild azalea and laurel4 ,the air was laden with perfume and flooded with sunshine4 ,it was at the close of the afternoon school when ,anna1 a company of the children with her1 started to climb the eastern hill which rose a little beyond the mill pond1 to gather flowers4 ,gregory1 from the open window of his office in the mill1 watched the pretty troop as they threaded their way up the steep path and were soon lost to sight in the woods4 ,he heard them speak of ,eagle ,rock as the goal of their expedition1--a favourite point of view1 less than a mile to walk1 and nearly on the crest of the hills4 ,anna was dressed in the coarse white cotton of ,fraternia manufacture which was the usual dress of the girls and women of the village in the house and out in dry1 warm weather1 simply made1 easily laundered1 cleanly1 and becoming4 ,her tall figure1 the last to disappear up the woodland path1 had attracted the eyes of another1 as well as of ,john ,gregory4 ,oliver ,ingraham1 in these two months grown an all-too-familiar figure in ,fraternia1 finding his way stealthily and untiringly to every favourite nook and corner of the valley1 had also watched the start from some lurking-place4 ,it was half an hour later when ,gregory noticed him sauntering casually along the foot of the hill1 and with an air of indifference striking into the same path which ,anna and the children had taken4 ,gregory watched him a moment fixedly1 his eyebrows knit together1 and he bit his lip with impatience and disgust4 ,of late ,oliver had shown an ominous propensity to haunt ,anna1 whose dislike of his presence amounted well-nigh to terror4 ,more than once ,gregory's watchful eyes1 which never left ,oliver's movements long unnoted1 had observed attempts on his part to follow or to overtake her1 to seek her out and attach himself to her4 ,invariably ,oliver found himself foiled in these attempts1 although he had no means of attributing the interference to ,gregory4 ,thus far the intervention had been accomplished almost unnoticeably1 but none the less effectively4 ,the afternoon was a busy one for ,gregory4 ,the mill1 no longer silent and deserted1 was running now on full time2 and1 to the great satisfaction of a majority of the colonists1 ,gregory had withdrawn his scruples against selling the products of their manufacture at a reasonable profit4 ,he was finding it easier and easier to compromise with his initial scruples4 ,it had also become more imperative to try to meet1 in so far as was reasonable1 the demands of the people1 since already ,fraternia had suffered serious defections4 ,a number of substantial families had withdrawn earlier in the spring1 among them the ,hansons and the ,taylors1 who had taken the pretty ,frulein ,frieda with them1 to ,anna's great regret4 ,others talked of leaving1 and1 in spite of the greater financial easiness1 criticism and jealousy were at work in the little company at first so united4 ,the almost insuperable difficulties attending the experiment had now fully declared themselves4 ,however1 there was plenty of work to do1 which was a material relief4 ,gregory glanced now at the pile of papers before him on his desk1 and then once more through the window at the figure of ,oliver1 receding up the hill4 ,no1 he could not run the risk of allowing him to overtake and annoy ,anna4 ,the work must wait4 ,taking his hat1 he left the mill hastily2 but1 instead of choosing the path behind ,oliver1 ,gregory turned and went up the valley a little distance1 struck through behind the houses1 crossed a bit of boggy ground which lay at the foot of the hill in this part of the valley1 and so mounted the hill below ,eagle ,rock in a line to intercept ,oliver before he could overtake ,anna1 if such were his purpose4 ,there was no path up this side of the hill1 but ,gregory found no trouble in striding through the deep underbrush which would have swamped the women and children completely4 ,soon he reached a point from which he commanded a sight of ,eagle ,rock1 and a glance showed him the fluttering dresses of the children already on its summit4 ,in another moment he dashed up on a sharp climb1 for the hill was very steep at this point1 and reached the path only a short distance from the base of the rock4 ,he looked up1 but no one was in sight2 then down the path1 and in a moment ,oliver came into view walking much more rapidly than fifteen minutes before1 when he had entered the woods4 ,he slackened his pace as he caught sight of ,gregory slowly approaching down the path1 and sought to hide a very evident discomfiture with his evil smile4 8,you got up here in pretty good time1 didn't you1 ,mr4 ,gregory80 he asked1 as he reached him4 8,i saw you1 seems to me1 in your office when ,i came along4 ,i've taken my time1 you see4 ,a beautiful day for a walk40 ,oliver's small green-grey eyes twinkled wickedly as he spoke these apparently harmless words1 for he saw1 or felt1 that beneath every one of them ,gregory's anger1 roused at last1 reached a higher pitch4 ,oliver perfectly understood what he was here for4 8,i have a word to say to you10 said ,gregory1 stormily4 8,you will have to stop haunting the women and children1 and annoying them with your attentions4 ,i speak perfectly plainly1 ,mr4 ,ingraham2 they are not agreeable and they must be stopped40 8,you rule with a rod of iron here1 ,gregory10 said ,oliver1 his long fingers twining together2 8what you say goes4 ,still1 you know1 you might go a little too far40 ,gregory did not reply1 but stood watching him as a lion might watch a reptile4 8,i am willing to stay in ,fraternia1 under favourable conditions10 ,oliver proceeded1 with hideous cunning2 8but ,i should think1 as ,i am paying pretty well for my accommodations1 ,i ought1 at least1 to get the liberty of the grounds4 ,what do you say80 8,i say1 ,go1 this minute1 or ,i'll throw you neck and crop down that bank10 said ,gregory1 with unmistakable sincerity1 at which ,oliver1 suddenly cowed1 and his weak legs trembling under him1 faced about promptly and retreated down the path4 ,he paused at a safe distance1 while ,gregory's hands tingled to collar him1 and called back1 in a loud1 confidential whisper3-- 8,you can have her all to yourself this time4 ,that's all right10 and with this he hurried off1 his thin lips writhing in a malicious smile1 and his hands clenched tightly and cruelly4 ,for a moment ,gregory stood still in the path4 ,a dark flush had mounted slowly even to his forehead4 ,he was irresolute whether to follow and find ,anna1 or to return directly to the valley4 ,something in ,oliver's ugly taunt acted like a challenge upon him1 it seemed1 for1 turning1 and catching through the trees the glimmer of ,anna's white dress1 he hastened on up the path4 ,he found her sitting on a mossy rock at the foot of the cliff1 where there were trees and shade and a fair view of the valley1 and the blue billowing sea of the mountain ranges beyond4 ,her strength and colour had returned with the out-door life of the spring1 and she looked to-day the embodiment of radiant health4 ,greatly astonished at ,gregory's appearance1 she yet welcomed it with unaffected gladness1 starting to rise from her low seat with the impulses of social observance which she could not quite outgrow even in the wilderness2 but he motioned to her to sit still4 ,all around her the children had flung their branches of laurel and azalea1 running off to gather more and bring her1 and the delicate suffusion of colour made an exquisite background to the picture4 ,the picture itself1 ,gregory thought1 ,everett ought to have painted for a ,madonna2 for in ,anna's lap leaned a sturdy1 fair-haired boy1 with a cherub face1 a child of less than four years1 his head thrust back against her shoulder as he looked out from that vantage ground with serene eyes at ,gregory1 while ,anna held one round little hand in hers and looked down upon the child with all the wistful fondness of unfulfilled maternal love4 8,do not smile10 said ,gregory1 with affected sternness at last1 as she glanced up from the child to him with a questioning smile1 expecting some explanation for his presence here2 8,i have come this time to scold you40 8,o dear60 said ,anna1 with a gay little laugh of surprise4 8,my turn has come60 8,yes1 your turn has come10 he continued gravely4 8,do you not know that when you come away on such long1 lonely climbs as this1 even with the children1 you give us anxiety for you1 and trouble8 ,i have had to come all this distance to take care of you40 ,anna shook her head1 much more puzzled than penitent4 8,what is there to be troubled about80 she cried4 ,gregory did not answer at once4 ,he found it impossible to make mention of ,oliver in her presence4 ,he fixed his eyes on the little child1 who was on his knees now1 by ,anna's side1 pouring out into her white dress a small handful of scarlet berries1 and letting them run like jewels through his fingers1 laughing to see them roll4 8,do you not know10 he began again1 very slowly1 8that we fear for your strength1 for your endurance1 upon which you will never1 yourself1 have mercy80 ,anna began to protest a little1 her colour deepening at some vague change in his tone and manner4 8,do you not know10 he continued1 not heeding her interruption1 8that you are the very heart of our life1 here in ,fraternia8 that we all turn to you for our inspiration1 our hope1 our ideal8 ,should we not guard you1 since without you we all should fade and fail80 ,never before had ,anna heard this cadence of tenderness in ,gregory's voice1 nor in the voice of man or woman2 the whole strength of his protecting manhood1 of his high reverence and his strong heart1 was in it1 but there was something more4 ,what was it8 ,a tremor ran through ,anna's heart4 ,could she dare to know8 ,she lifted her eyes at last to meet his look1 and what she read was what she had never dreamed of1 never feared nor hoped--the supreme human love which a man can know4 ,reading this1 she did not fear nor faint nor draw her own look away1 but rather her eyes met his1 full of awe and solemn joy2 for at last1 in that moment1 her own heart was revealed to itself4 8,o ,anna6--,o ,benigna60 ,gregory spoke at last1 or rather it seemed as if the whole deep heart of the man breathed out its life on the syllables of those two names4 ,in the silence which followed ,anna sat quite quiet in her place1 the sun and the soft shadows of the young oak leaves playing over her face and figure4 ,the child still tossed his red berries with ripples of gleeful laughter over the whiteness of her dress1 and not far away could be heard the busy voices of the older children as they ruthlessly broke away the blossoms from their stems4 ,and in the sun and shade and the stillness ,anna sat1 while wave after wave of incredible joy broke over her spirit4 ,for the first time in her life she knew love1 knowing it for what it was4 ,she had not asked to know it1 nor mourned that she had missed its full measure1 nor dreamed that it could yet be hers2 but it had come1 not stayed by bonds nor stopped by vows4 ,it was here6 ,the man whose strong spirit1 in its freedom and power1 had cast its spell upon her mysteriously even before she had seen his face save in a dream1 loved her1 with eyes to look like that upon her and that mighty tenderness6 ,life was fulfilled4 ,let death come now4 ,it was enough6 ,the moment1 being supreme in its way1 was not one to leave room for outward excitement1 for flutter and trepidation4 ,anna rose now from her place with perfect calmness1 and bent to take the little1 laughing child by the hand1 while she went to call the others together4 ,gregory had turned away slightly1 and with his arms crossed over his breast was leaning hard against the rugged wall of the cliff1 his head thrown back against it1 his face set1 his whole aspect as of some granite figure of heroic mould1 carved there in relief4 ,anna heard a sound like a groan break from his lips1 and turning back1 with an irresistible impulse1 laid her hand1 light as a leaf1 upon his arm4 ,from head to foot ,gregory trembled then4 8,don't10 he said sternly1 under his breath4 8,what is it80 asked ,anna1 confused at his sudden harshness4 8,it is the end10 he said1 with low distinctness and the emphasis of finality4 ,then1 only then1 did ,anna waken to perceive that what in that brief moment of joy she had taken for glory1 was only shame and loss and undoing1 unless smothered at the birth4 ,an inarticulate cry broke from her then1 so poignant1 although low1 that the little child1 pulling at her dress1 began to cry piteously4 ,she stooped to comfort him1 gave him again the hand which she had laid on ,gregory's arm1 then1 turning1 walked slowly away4 ,gregory made no motion to detain her or to follow1 but stood as she left him1 braced against the rock4 ,anna gathered her little flock1 and they hastened down the hill in a gay procession1 with the waving branches of ,april bloom1 and the merry voices of the children4 ,only ,sister ,benigna1 as she walked among them1 little ,judith noticed1 was white and still4 ,,chapter ,,xxxv ,then fell thick rain1 plume droopt and mantle clung1 ,and pettish cries awoke1 and the wan day ,went glooming down in wet and weariness2 ,but under her black brows a swarthy one ,laugh'd shrilly1 crying3 8,praise the patient saints1 ,our one white day of ,innocence hath past1 ,though somewhat draggled at the skirt4 ,so be it40 --,,tennyson4 ,at nine o'clock that evening ,barnabas ,rosenblatt1 working around the mill stables1 was startled at the sudden appearance of ,gregory1 who passed him without speaking1 as he went hurriedly into the stall and brought out his horse4 ,the day had been followed by a night of brilliant moonlight1 and ,barnabas saw1 as distinctly as if it had been day1 that his face1 usually firm and composed1 was drawn and haggard to a degree4 ,he started to speak to him1 but an imperious gesture of ,gregory silenced him4 ,without a word ,barnabas therefore assisted him in saddling the horse1 and then stood perplexed as he watched him gallop away down the valley in the moonlight4 ,straight on through a narrow bridle-path which led by a short cut through the stretch of oak wood to the little hamlet of ,spalding1 ,gregory galloped4 ,he had reached the outskirts of the woods1 and was in sight of the level meadows and the cluster of lights of the village beyond1 when he suddenly perceived the figure of a man on foot approaching him from the direction of ,spalding4 ,a few steps more1 and ,gregory saw1 with surprise and strange perturbation1 that it was ,keith ,burgess4 ,he reined up his horse and stood motionless1 until ,keith had reached him1 and called out a greeting as he stood in the path1 looking a pigmy beside the ,titanic proportions of the horse and rider4 ,the moonlight showed ,keith more thin and wan than ever4 ,he had returned to ,fraternia once before this spring1 in ,march1 but1 after a week1 had been glad to go back to ,baltimore1 with some rather vague commission4 ,his return at this time was wholly unexpected1 even by ,anna4 ,keith had long since come to stand to ,gregory for something like a concrete embodiment of his many disappointments and vexations1 by reason of his lukewarm participation in his own purposes1 his ineffective labours1 and his continual draft upon ,anna's sympathies4 ,as ,gregory looked down upon him1 thrown at this moment so unexpectedly in his path1 a singular hardness toward the man came upon him1 for he was hard beset by passion2 and while he meant to have no mercy upon himself1 he was not in the mood to have mercy upon another man1 least of all1 perhaps1 upon ,keith4 8,you are going back to ,fraternia80 he asked coldly1 his tone striking ,keith with chill surprise4 ,the latter assented as a matter of course4 ,there was a moment of silence2 ,keith felt something sinister in the nature of it4 8,why should you go back there80 ,gregory asked now1 with the same careless coldness2 8you have no heart in ,fraternia or its purposes40 ,keith was stirred1 and answered pointedly3-- 8,i have at least a wife in ,fraternia1 ,mr4 ,gregory40 ,gregory looked at him a moment with a measuring glance1 noting his wasted and feeble appearance4 8,i suppose you do need nursing10 he said slowly4 ,keith ,burgess turned ashy pale4 ,was this wanton injury8 ,did ,gregory wish to insult him8 ,what did it mean8 ,gregory did not know himself4 ,he knew only that1 in the agony of that night1 for he had fully resolved himself to see ,anna no more1 the sight of ,keith ,burgess worked like madness in his brain4 8,mrs4 ,burgess10 he said now1 with the deliberation of strongly suppressed excitement1 8is more highly endowed for great issues than any person ,i have ever known4 ,it is almost a pity that she should not have freedom to use her powers in the greater activities to which she is fitted40 ,each sentence1 cruel with all the cruelty which the climax of pride and passion could inspire1 pierced the heart of ,keith like a shaft barbed with steel4 ,he stepped backward and leaned against a tree1 breathing hard4 ,the occult1 mysterious quality of the moment's experience to him was that he saw himself1 distinctly and as if by an inexorable necessity1 turning away from ,fraternia1 and going back by the way which he had come4 ,without another word1 ,gregory tightened his rein and galloped on1 out through the wood's edge and so down to the plain4 ,he did not see1 in the high excitement of the moment1 the figure of a man lurking stealthily among the trees at no great distance from where ,keith stood4 ,when the sound of the horse's hoofs had died away1 this figure stepped softly out from its shelter and passed along the bridle-path1 peering inquisitively in the face of ,keith as he still stood where ,gregory had left him4 ,but neither did ,keith observe him1 nor care who he was1 and so he went on his way toward ,fraternia4 ,he looked back once or twice4 ,his last look showed him that ,keith had gathered himself together and was walking slowly away1 in the direction from which he had come4 ,keith walked blindly on1 not knowing why he went1 nor where he went1 like a man who has suffered a heavy blow upon his brain1 and moves only automatically without thought or will4 ,on the outskirts of the village1 near the railroad1 he passed a barn1 rickety and disused1 but there was old hay in a heap on the floor of it1 it offered shelter1 and shelter without the contact with others from which he shrunk as if he were in disgrace1 and fleeing for his life4 ,accordingly ,keith went into this place1 drawing the broken door together as far as he could move it on its rusty hinges1 threw himself on the heap of hay1 and slept until five o'clock in the morning4 ,the one passenger train of the day passing through ,spalding eastward was due at five o'clock4 ,keith was wakened by the long whistle announcing its approach1 and came dizzily out into the chill and wet of a miserable morning4 ,the train slowed down as it neared the place where he stood4 ,he swung himself upon it with the brief but tense nervous energy of great exhaustion1 sank into a vacant seat in the foul1 unventilated car1 and was carried on1 whither he did not know or care4 ,anna1 coming back from the walk to ,eagle ,rock1 had gone to her own house alone4 ,here she spent the earlier hours of the evening in the deepest travail of soul she had ever known4 ,the purity and unworldliness of all her life1 both the life of her girlhood and that with ,keith1 had served to keep far from her familiarity with possibilities of moral danger4 ,she was as innocent of certain kinds of evil as a child1 and the thought that a temptation to a guilty love could assault her would1 until this day1 have appeared to her incredible4 ,and now1 in the fierce struggle of this passion1 the only one she had ever known1 she knew herself not only capable of sin1 but caught at last in its power4 ,not that for a moment she dreamed of any compromise of outward fidelity2 such a thought she rejected with horror as inconceivable either to herself or to ,gregory1 whom she firmly believed to be far stronger than she4 ,but the flaw in faithfulness had come already1 beyond recall1 beyond repair4 ,her whole soul moved toward this man1 who had so long secretly dominated her inner life1 with a mighty and overwhelming tide4 ,her relation to ,keith had been that of gentlest consideration1 kindliness1 and affection4 ,more it had never been2 and to-night it seemed as powerless to stay the flood of passion as a wall of sand built on the shore of an infinite sea by the hands of a child4 ,so ,anna thought1 so she felt4 ,she went to the door of her cabin with this thought mastering her1 driven by restlessness1 and longing to feel the coolness of the night air on her face4 ,for a moment she stood in her open door1 and saw mechanically that the moonlight was shed abroad in the valley2 she heard the voices of the men across the river singing in a strong1 sweet chorus4 ,then1 suddenly1 as if the words had been spoken in her ear1 the thought came to her1 8,but ,keith needs me2 he needs me now60 ,what was it8 ,she did not know4 ,she never understood4 ,the sense was strong upon her that ,keith was near her2 that he was in some danger1 and needed her4 ,without pause to consider what she did1 ,anna flew down the river path and reached the mill breathless4 ,the pond lay in the moonlight1 motionless4 ,the air did not stir4 ,the mill was still and dark and deserted4 ,the woods were dim with their night mystery4 ,she looked down the valley1 and up1 and across the river1 and everywhere was perfect peace1 save in her own heart4 ,then in the silence she heard a step approaching from the direction of the woods below4 ,she drew back hastily into the protection of the mill porch and waited for the steps to pass4 ,whoever it was paused for a little time above the mill1 and ,anna's heart beat hard with a sense of dread and danger4 ,finally she heard the steps pass on1 and when she returned to the road she recognized the unmistakable figure of the man now moving on in the unshadowed moonlight to the bridge above4 ,it was ,oliver ,ingraham4 ,slowly ,anna returned to her own cottage1 not daring to do otherwise1 a heavy oppression on her heart4 ,early in the morning1 which was cold and rainy1 ,oliver was at her door1 and she answered his summons herself1 full of a vague1 trembling anxiety4 ,he scanned her face narrowly2 it was careworn and hollow-eyed1 for she had slept not at all4 ,in silence he handed her a letter1 broken at the edges1 and soiled with long carrying about4 ,she glanced at the address4 ,it was ,keith's1 written by herself perhaps a month before2 not a recent letter4 ,she looked at ,oliver in speechless perplexity4 8,i found that lying on the ground down near ,spalding last night10 he said1 still eying her craftily1 and with that hurried off1 giving her not another word4 ,anna went in1 closed the door1 and drew out the letter4 ,it was unimportant1 insignificant1 simply an ordinary letter of wifely affection and solicitude1 but one which had evidently been much read1 being worn on the folds4 ,who could have carried it save ,keith himself8 ,had he1 then1 been really near her the night before8 ,was he really coming8 ,anna knew already that it was for this she longed supremely4 ,noon brought to ,everett a special messenger with a letter from ,gregory1 who brought with him also the roan horse ridden the night before to the county town1 ,c----1 and evidently ridden fiercely4 ,at ,c---- was the bank where ,gregory transacted all his business4 ,this letter stated1 first of all1 that he had suddenly reached the conclusion that it was important and imperative that he should go at once to ,england in the interests of the colony4 ,he should not return to ,fraternia before sailing4 ,he wished to empower ,everett to act in his place during his absence1 which would not be for more than three months4 ,various items of business were enumerated1 and the letter closed with this remarkable statement3 8,the funds furnished by ,mr4 ,ingraham of ,burlington have been returned to him with the exception of the five thousand dollars already used1 which ,i shall restore at my earliest opportunity4 ,this removes the obligation from us of counting ,mr4 ,oliver ,ingraham as one of our number1 and ,i beg that you will signify to him my conviction that his continued presence in ,fraternia is impossible4 ,do not allow him to stay a day if you can help yourself1 and keep him under your eye while he remains40 ,,chapter ,,xxxvi ,i said farewell2 ,i stepped across the cracking earth and knew ',twould yawn behind me4 ,i must walk right on1 444 ,fate has carried me ',mid the thick arrows2 ,i will keep my stand1 ,not shrink and let the shaft pass by my breast ,to pierce another3 oh1 'tis written large ,the thing ,i have to do4 --,,george ,,eliot4 ,the following morning ,anna sent for ,oliver4 ,word had reached her that he was about to leave ,fraternia4 ,in the depth of her present distress and perplexity a thought which 8had no form1 a suffering which had no tongue0 had arisen4 ,gregory1 she knew1 had left the village hastily that night under stress of powerful emotion1 perhaps in a condition of mental excitement exceeding his own control4 ,it seemed to her possible that somewhere on the way from ,fraternia to ,spalding he might have encountered ,keith4 ,the letter brought by ,oliver indicated1 she was more and more convinced1 that he had really been on his way to her4 ,if this were true1 some event had interposed1 something had occurred to hinder his coming4 ,what could it have been1 supposing him to have been but two miles away1 save some mysterious1 unthinkable effect of an interview with ,gregory1 if such there had been8 ,it was no longer possible1 no longer justifiable1 to await events4 ,she must herself discover all that ,oliver knew1 even if the discovery were to mean despair4 ,alone1 in her own cabin1 she received ,oliver4 ,if ,keith had been in ,fraternia1 or ,john ,gregory1 it would not have been permitted2 but her intense anxiety and suspense overbore her usual shrinking from contact with the man1 and ,everett yielded to her wish to see him alone4 ,oliver entered the cabin1 noting its simple appointments with his characteristic curiosity4 ,anna pointed to a chair which he took1 although she herself remained standing4 ,her face was as white as her dress1 her eyes deeply sunken1 her manner sternly imperious4 8,you are going away from ,fraternia to-day80 she asked1 with swift directness4 8,yes10 said ,oliver1 nodding with his peculiar smile2 8this precious demigod or demagogue--whichever you please--of yours1 your imperial ,gregory1 has issued a ukase against me1 in short1 has done me the honour to banish me from the matchless delights and privileges of ,fraternia60 ,the last word was spoken with a slow emphasis of condensed contempt4 8,there is something really a little queer about it10 ,oliver continued1 in a different tone4 8,i am on to most of what happened between my father and ,gregory1 but ,i've missed a link now somewhere4 ,you see1 the governor1 in a fit of temporary aberration1 offered ,gregory a magnificent contribution for his socialist scheme down here2 but ,gregory was pretty high and lofty just then1 and1 #8,no1 sir1' said he--,i heard him1 though he and the governor don't know it--#8,no1 sir1 ,i couldn't touch your money4 ,i am just that fastidious4' ,the governor had been confessing his sins to ,gregory1 the worse fool he6 ,it seemed that his money had come to him in a way that might make some men squeamish1 and ,gregory1 oh1 dear1 no6 he wouldn't have touched those ill-gotten gains as he was feeling then--not with the tip of one finger4 8,but the joke is10 ,oliver went on1 8that he had to come to it4 ,oh1 yes2 he got down on his marrow bones to the governor here about three months ago1 and wrote to him that he had reconsidered the matter1 and saw his mistake10 and ,oliver gave a low chuckle2 8so the governor had to come down with the lucre1 more or less filthy as it was1 and ,i don't think he was quite so much in the mood for it either as he was at the first1 to tell the truth4 ,but he sent it all the same1 and sent me with it1 don't you see8 ,i came as the saviour of ,fraternia1 although ,i have never been so recognized4 ,the whole town has been run the last month or two on ,ingraham money1 and it seems to have greased the wheels about as well as any other money1 for all ,i see4 ,but now comes the unexpected6 ,off goes ,gregory to ,england1 sends back the governor's check1 so ,i hear from ,everett1 and kindly writes me to take myself off4 ,what brought him to that is what ,i don't quite see through yet40 8,i have no doubt10 said ,anna1 concealing her dismay at ,oliver's malign disclosure with a manner of cold indifference1 8that ,mr4 ,gregory had good reasons for thinking it better for you to return to ,burlington40 8,you're right there10 retorted ,oliver1 quickly2 8oh1 yes1 he had excellent reasons1 the best of reasons4 ,a man who knows too much is often inconvenient1 you know40 8,mr4 ,ingraham10 ,anna asked hastily1 apparently ignoring this insinuation although she trembled now from head to foot1 8,i am not interested in the business relations of your father and ,mr4 ,gregory4 ,it was not to hear of them ,i sent for you4 ,you brought me a letter yesterday which ,i think must have been not long ago in my husband's possession4 ,i wish you to tell me if1 on the night when you found this letter1 that is the night before last1 you saw my husband in the neighbourhood of ,fraternia80 8,oh1 yes10 replied ,oliver1 as if it were quite a matter of course2 8were you not expecting him80 8,where did you see him80 ,the question came quick and sharp4 8,well10 said ,oliver1 reflectively1 8you would like me to be exact1 ,i suppose4 ,let me see1 how shall ,i describe the place so that you will recall it--distinctly40 ,there was a certain cold deliberation in the articulation of these words which gave them a sickening cruelty4 ,they called up strange visions of dread and dismay to ,anna's tortured imagination4 8,speak more quickly10 she commanded1 rather than asked1 8the precise spot makes no difference40 8,it was near the edge of the woods1 on the ,spalding side1 that ,i saw him first4 ,the night was quite bright with moonlight1 if you remember4 ,i had taken a stroll down to ,spalding myself for some of those little luxuries which ,fraternia doesn't furnish1 and was on my way back when ,i first noticed ,mr4 ,burgess4 ,he was just striking into the path1 there by that dead oak tree2 you may remember it4 ,i noticed it because it stood out so white in the moonlight1 and it was just at the foot of it that ,i picked up that letter4 ,i did not know that he had dropped it1 nor whose it was until after ,i got home40 8,undoubtedly false10 thought ,anna2 8you had not had the chance to read it1 that was all10 but she did not speak4 ,oliver too was silent1 as if he had answered her question1 and was done4 8,please go on40 ,anna kept her patience and control still4 8,oh60 exclaimed ,oliver1 as if surprised1 8you want to hear more1 do you8 ,all right4 ,i guess likely ,i'm the only man that can tell you1 being the only witness1 in fact40 8,witness of what80 ,anna cried importunately4 8,well1 that's it4 ,that's what ,i've asked myself more than once since that night1 and ,i rather guess as good a description as ,i could give would be to call it a kind of moral murder2 a moral murder10 and ,oliver repeated the phrase as if gratified by the acuteness of his perception in forming it4 ,he watched her face closely1 and beginning to fear from the bluish shade which tinged her pallor that ,anna would soon be released from his power to torture by unconsciousness1 hastily took another line4 8,oh1 you've nothing to worry about1 ,mrs4 ,burgess1 nothing at all4 ,that was just a little fancy of mine1 just my metaphorical way of stating things4 ,it was a very simple little incident1 nothing which need affect a man unpleasantly in the least4 ,it just happened1 you see1 that ,gregory was galloping down the path toward ,spalding1 and he met your husband1 and they had a little talk together1--a mere quiet conversation for a few moments1--and ,mr4 ,burgess seemed to change his mind about going to ,fraternia just then1 and turned back toward the village4 ,that was all4 ,i watched him a little1 to be sure he didn't need any help1 you know1 afterward4 ,gregory galloped right along2 he was going to catch a train1 ,i suppose1 at ,c----1 and that made him in something of a hurry1 of course40 8,why should my husband have needed help1 ,mr4 ,ingraham8 ,will you be good enough to explain yourself clearly1 and in as few words as possible80 ,anna spoke more calmly now1 but her eyes were like coals of fire4 8,certainly1 certainly4 ,i cannot repeat ,gregory's language1 not literally1 but it seemed to cut ,mr4 ,burgess up a good deal at the time1--at least ,i fancied so4 ,that is what ,i meant by that little simile of mine awhile ago4 ,he's all over it now1 of course4 ,it was only a few words anyway4 ,just that ,gregory said1 in that short way he has once in awhile--,probably you've never heard him2 he wouldn't be apt to speak so to you10 and ,oliver decorated the sentence with one of his most insinuating smiles4 8,mr4 ,gregory said--80 ,anna asked1 looking into his face with an unflinching directness1 before which ,oliver's eyes wandered nervously4 8,why1 he seemed surprised that ,mr4 ,burgess should be coming back so soon1 and he gave him to understand that a man like him1 who was sick all the time1 and not much of a ,fraternian1 either1 was rather a drag on such a woman as you1 don't you see8 and it might be fully as well if he should keep away and give you your freedom most of the time40 8,did my husband make any reply that you heard80 asked ,anna1 huskily1 this hideous distortion of unformulated traitor thoughts which had lurked in the background of her own consciousness confronting her now to her terror1 and her heart doubly sick with the loathing of being forced to ask such information from such a source4 8,he said you were at least his wife1 ,i remember that4 ,i guess that was about all4 ,it struck me at the time that there was something in what he said1 with all due respect for ,gregory4 ,he rules everything here1 of course1 though1 ,i suppose1--even to the relations between husbands and wives40 ,the last words were lost upon ,anna4 8,you may go now1 if you please1 ,mr4 ,ingraham10 she said calmly4 ,her look and an unconscious gesture of dismissal were imperative1 and ,oliver1 not daring to disobey1 left the place without another word4 ,for two days ,anna sat alone and in silence1 waiting for the summons which she knew by a sure intuition must come4 ,oliver's story had been confirmed in so far that it had been learned that ,keith had been seen in ,spalding on the night of ,gregory's departure1 and had been known to take an east-bound train on the following morning4 ,nothing further was discovered regarding his movements1 and it was useless to try to follow and find him4 ,anna could only wait4 ,when the message came it was1 as she had known it would be1 urgent and ominous4 ,keith was in ,raleigh2 he was very ill2 she must go at once4 ,everything was ready1 and with a strange composure and quietness as of one carrying out a line of action fully foreseen1 ,anna went on her journey1 so like and yet so unlike that other journey to ,keith which she had taken in her girlhood1 ten years before4 ,that had ended in their marriage4 ,how would this end8 ,reaching the city in the afternoon1 ,anna was driven with the haste she demanded to the address named in the message which had come1 not from ,keith himself1 but from a physician4 ,it was not that of a hotel1 as she had expected1 but of a boarding-house of very moderate pretensions in a quiet street4 ,even the small details of the place1 in their cheap commonness1 smote her heart4 ,was it in places like this that ,keith had1 after all1 been living1 instead of in the well-appointed hotels in which she had always fancied him8 ,the landlady1 a kindly1 careworn woman1 plain of dress and of speech1 received ,anna with a mournful face1 but forebore explanations1 seeing that it was time rather for silence1 and led her down a long corridor to the door of a dim and silent room4 ,there was a little stir as ,anna stood in the open door2 the physician came out and spoke to her1 and she saw a nurse sitting quietly by a window4 ,but ,anna did not know that she saw or heard them2 her sense took in only her husband1 with eyes closed and the shadow of death upon his face1 lying upon the strange bed in this place of strangers4 ,she was by his side and his hands were in hers1 when presently he opened his eyes4 ,seeing her1 a sudden light of clear recognition illuminated his face1 a triumphant ray of joy and satisfaction4 ,he tried to speak1 but could not1 but ,anna felt the faint pressure of his hand4 ,once more his lips moved1 and ,anna saw rather than heard the words3-- 8,good-by1 darling10 and with them the same look of ineffable love and peace4 ,then his eyes closed and he sank again into unconsciousness4 ,the physician1 leaning over1 said softly1 8,he will not rouse again4 ,this was most unexpected4 ,he has been unconscious since morning40 ,the end came soon after midnight1 unconsciousness falling into death without pain or struggle4 ,of the days which followed ,anna could never recall a distinct or coherent impression4 ,detached scenes and moments alone lived in her memory4 ,she knew that ,everett was there and that they started for ,fulham4 ,somewhere on the way ,professor ,ward met them1 and ,foster1 the old family servant4 ,nothing seemed strange and nothing seemed natural2 all passed to her as in a dream4 ,she was at ,fulham2 she remembered afterward that she sat in the library which ,keith had longed for so1 and his body lay beside her1 below the mantelpiece where she had so often seen him lean4 ,the old servants1 hastily summoned for the occasion1 went and came1 and looked at her1 she thought1 with eyes of cold respect and mute reproach4 ,then ,everett stood there1 and she saw that tears were on his face as he looked upon his old friend1 but she did not cry4 ,only when ,everett turned toward her she said1 very simply1 with a motion of her hand which signified all that the place meant3-- 8,keith gave his life--for me40 ,then ,everett had looked at her as if alarmed at what he saw in her face1 and had gone out hastily and sent some woman to her1 whom she did not want4 ,the incidents of the funeral seemed to pass by unnoticed4 ,she remembered the moment at the grave when at last she fully realized that this was the end4 ,then she was at the ,fulham railroad station1 and ,professor ,ward had come to her on the train and had held her hands strongly in his1 and had said with urgent emphasis3-- 8,you must always remember that ,keith's physician and all his old friends believe that his life was prolonged rather than shortened by your living in the ,south4 ,do not for a moment dwell on the opposite thought40 ,she had felt her dry lips tremble then and her eyes grew dim1 but she did not speak4 ,the train had moved out soon1 and she knew that kind eyes watched her1 but she could not meet their look4 ,of the journey down into the ,west to her mother that night she remembered nothing1 save that the incessant jar of the train seemed to follow in a rhythmic endless repetition the familiar refrain of the old passion hymn1-- 8,was ever grief like mine80 ,,chapter ,,xxxvii ,from the unhappy desire of becoming great2 ,preserve us1 gracious ,lord and ,god4 --,old ,moravian ,liturgy4 ,there is a time when religion is only felt as a bridle that checks us1 and then comes another time when it is a sweet and penetrating life-blood1 which sets in motion every fibre of the soul1 expands the understanding1 gives us the ,infinite for our horizon1 and makes all things clear to us4--,,lacordaire4 ,on the quiet street of the hill town of ,bethlehem stands the quaint and ancient building set apart in the ,moravian economy as the ,widows' ,house4 ,in the interior of the old stone house1 with its massive walls and rows of dormer windows1 are wide1 low-ceiled halls1 and sunny1 sweet-smelling chambers1 clean and orderly1 chaste and simple1 as those of a convent4 ,here in mild monotony and peace the women of the 8,widows' ,choir0 live their quiet life1 and here in ,september we find ,anna ,burgess1 who had fled to this haven of her mother's abiding-place1 as to a sanctuary4 ,the evening was warm1 and the windows of ,gulielma ,mallison's room were open to the sunshine and the sweet air4 ,flowers blossomed in the deep window-sills2 the bare floor was as white as scrubbing could make it2 the appointments of the room were cheerful and refined1 albeit homely1 and the atmosphere was that of still repose4 ,by the window ,gulielma ,mallison sat knitting1 her face beneath its widow's cap calm and strong in its submissive sadness4 ,opposite her on the sofa lay ,anna1 each line of her face and figure expressing the suffering of a stricken heart4 ,there had been months of slow1 wearisome illness and of grievous mental suffering1 in which her days had been a ,purgatorio and her nights an ,inferno2 and now weeks of convalescence1 which were bringing life back into her wasted frame1 still failed to bring healing to her mind4 ,the mother's fond eyes1 glancing unperceived across her knitting1 noted the listless droop of the long white hands upon the white dress1 the marblelike pallor of the forehead from which the hair was so closely drawn1 the hollow cheeks1 the piteous sadness of the mouth1 the glassy brightness of the eyes1 fixed in the long1 still gaze of habitual introspection4 8,surely10 sighed ,gulielma ,mallison to herself1 as she had before a hundred times1 8there is more than the bitterness of death in her face2 widowhood alone to the ,christian brings not such havoc as this4 ,it is in some place of danger that her thoughts are dwelling4 ,i should fear less for her if she could only speak60 ,but ,anna's grief could not find its way to words4 ,how could her mother1 in her sober1 ordered existence1 her decorous and righteous experiences of life and love and death1 comprehend what it was to live with shadows of faithlessness1 even of blood-guiltiness1 for perpetual company8 ,for to ,anna's thought ,keith had been driven to his lonely death by the hardness of ,gregory1 by words which had issued from the white heat of his passion for her1 a passion unrebuked by her1--nay1 rather1 shared to the full4 ,was she then guiltless of her husband's death8 ,not for a moment could ,anna divide herself from ,gregory in responsibility for the action which ,oliver had characterized as 8moral murder40 ,unsparingly just to herself1 she bore to the very limit of reason all the fellowship which was imposed upon her by the mastery of a love so long lived in its unconsciousness and silence1 so soon cut off1 once perceived and acknowledged4 ,it has been said that 8all great loves that have ever died1 dropped dead40 ,anna's mighty passion had been stillborn1 slain by the words which had sent ,keith on his dim way to death4 ,for she had never doubted that ,oliver's rehearsal of the scene in the woods between ,gregory and ,keith had been substantially true4 ,she knew there had been spiritual violence done1 and her soul recoiled from the very strength and power which had once enchained her4 ,something of diabolical pride seemed to her now to invest even the austere morality of ,gregory4 ,he would have spurned a yielding to the weakness of the flesh1 his moral fastidiousness would have made it impossible2 but he fought the fire of love fiercely with the fire of pride1 not humbly with the weapons of prayer4 ,no shield of faith nor sword of the spirit had been his in the hour of temptation1 for all his high ideals1 but the sheer1 elemental force of human will4 ,he had conquered1 or rather had grappled with1 the one passion2 but the very force by which he had conquered turned again and conquered him1 and his very power became his undoing4 ,beside this conception of ,gregory which had now taken possession of ,anna's mind1 ,keith's gentleness1 his faithful1 patient life1 above all1 the greatness of the silent sacrifice which he had made for her sake when he embarked on the ,fraternia adventure1 became sacred and heroic4 ,she saw at last what his leaving his normal life had been2 she believed1 as she had said to ,everett1 that he had literally given his life for her1 and the sense of his devotion1 so little understood1 so scantily recognized1 wore ceaselessly at her heart4 ,her one drop of balm was the memory of ,keith's last smile of triumphant love and faith2 the bitterest drop in her ,cup of ,trembling that not one last word had been given her to show her by what paths his soul had fared1 and whether thoughts of peace had lightened his sufferings4 ,having loved her1 he had loved her to the end1--this only she knew4 ,his faithfulness had not failed4 ,words which her father had spoken to her shortly before his death1 vaguely comprehended at the time1 haunted her now1 8,with greatness we have nothing at all to do2 faithfulness only is our part40 ,if only she had earlier discerned their meaning6 ,such shape did these two men take to ,anna now2 the one who had moulded all her outward life and touched her inner life hitherto so faintly1 the other who had mastered her in her innate longing for power and freedom1 and controlled her inner life for many years3 ,keith seemed to her now like some spirit of gentle ministration1 humble1 faithful1 undefiled2 ,gregory1 like some proud spirit1 even as ,lucifer1 son of the morning1 who had said1 #8,i will ascend into heaven1' but who had been brought down to hell1 dragging with him all that was highest and holiest4 ,and she had thought him so different6 ,like another1 her heart would cry out3-- 8,i thought that he was gentle1 being great2 ,o ,god1 that ,i had loved a smaller man6 ,i should have found in him a greater heart40 ,once1 some weeks earlier1 there had come to her a brief note from ,gregory1 written soon after his return to ,fraternia4 ,it said only3-- 8,i have sinned deeply1 against ,god2 against him2 most of all against you4 ,i cannot even venture to ask you to forgive4 ,i can only say to you1 the penalty is wholly mine to bear4 ,you are blameless40 ,having read the note1 ,anna threw it into the fire1 and wrote no word in return4 ,and for herself--8 ,there was no softness of self-pity in ,anna's remorse4 ,dry and tearless and despairing1 she saw herself1 after long years of spiritual assurance1 of established and unquestioned righteousness1 overwhelmed at last by sin2 not by the delicate and dainty and inconclusive discords which religious experts love to examine and analyze1 but by a gross ground-swell of primitive passion1 linking her with men of violence and women of shame4 ,looking back upon her girlhood1 ,anna thought with sad self-scorning of her young desire for 8a deeper sense of sin40 ,it had come now1 not as the initial stage in a knowledge of ,god1 and of her relation to him1 but as a tardy revelation of the possibility of her nature1 undreamed of in her long security4 ,the cherished formulas of the old system1 its measure of rule and line applied to the incalculable forces of the human spirit2 its hard1 inflexible mould into which the great tides of personal experience must be poured1 seemed to lie in fragments about her now1 like wreckage after a storm4 ,she remembered that ,professor ,ward had once spoken to her of her inherited religious conceptions as terrible in their power to mislead1 to deceive the heart as to itself2 she saw the danger of a belief founded not on infinite verities1 but on a narrow medival logic4 ,she knew sin at last1 and knew that it was not slain in the hour of spiritual awakening4 ,she thought of the night preceding her union with her father's church1 and the recoil of nameless dread with which she had seen passing under her window the village outcast whom she supposed to be incredibly guilty and cut off from fellowship with all who1 like herself1 were seeking ,god4 ,and it was that very night that she had first dreamed of the mighty personality1 the embodiment of power and greatness1 which she had thought to find in ,gregory4 ,though late1 she now clearly perceived that in no human being could that ideal of her dream find full manifestation4 ,such thoughts as these were passing behind the pale mask of ,anna's pain-worn face1 which her mother's eyes were watching4 ,the impress of suffering which they gave was hard to see1 and a long involuntary sigh escaped ,gulielma ,mallison's lips4 ,anna looked up with eyes as sad as those of ,michel ,angelo's ,fates4 8,mother dear10 she said1 her voice strangely dulled from its former clear cadence1 8why do you sigh8 ,do ,i make you unhappy80 8,i cannot comfort you1 ,anna ,benigna10 said the mother1 sorrowfully4 8,it is for that ,i sigh40 8,no10 ,anna said slowly1 her eyes falling again from her mother's face2 8you cannot do that1 no one can4 ,no one lives who can comfort your child1 mother40 8,i have often thought1 ,anna1 that you may have suffered10 the mother ventured almost timidly1 8as many others have1 from the sad mistakes so common to people who regard the ,christian life and the married life as ends1 instead of beginnings40 ,gulielma noticed a slight quickening of interest in ,anna's eyes1 and went on thoughtfully1 with her simple philosophy of life3-- 8,to read the books that are written1 and to hear the things that are said1 young people can hardly help supposing that when they become ,christians they will know no more of sin1 and when they are married they will have only joy and perfect union4 ,to my way of thinking1 these wrong ideas are responsible for a great deal of needless unhappiness4 ,the ,christian life is really a school1 with hard discipline and harder lessons4 ,as for marriage--0 8,well10 said ,anna1 as her mother paused1 8as to marriage80 8,it may be a crown10 said ,gulielma1 slowly1 8but it is sure to be in some measure a cross4 ,it is a testing1 a trial1 a discipline1 like the rest of life4 ,only1 whether it happens to be happy1 or happens to be hard1 it is equally to be borne faithfully and in the fear of ,god40 ,there was silence for a little space1 and then a laughing voice in the street outside1 called3-- 8,mrs4 ,mallison60 ,gulielma rose and stepped to the window1 looking out over the crimson and purple asters into the street4 ,a young girl who stood there handed her up a letter4 8,i don't know whether it belongs to ,mrs4 ,burgess or not4 ,the address has been changed so many times1 but the postmaster said ,i was to ask you40 8,very well10 was the answer1 and as ,gulielma turned back1 a letter in her hand1 she found ,anna sitting up1 leaning upon her elbow1 her eyes strangely eager4 ,she held out her hand1 not speaking1 and received the letter4 ,the upper line1 which struck her eyes instantly1 was her own name1 and it had been written by ,keith4 ,she could not be mistaken4 ,the mother's anxious eyes saw every trace of colour ebb away from ,anna's face and lips1 and then stream back until the faint flush rose to her forehead4 ,she had not stopped to decipher the many addresses written below1 crossed and recrossed by many pens1 but1 seeing her own name written by the dear dead hand1 she pressed the letter hard against her heart and so lay a moment1 silent4 ,soon she looked up and met her mother's eyes4 ,a wistful1 heart-breaking request was in her own1 which she hardly dared to speak4 8,may ,i be all alone1 mother80 she asked faintly2 8my letter is from him4 ,it has gone wrong1 but it has come to me1 you see1 at last4 ,in the morning ,i will see you4 ,i will tell you then--all40 ,in another minute1 the door quietly closing1 ,anna found herself alone4 ,breaking the seal1 she saw that the letter had been written three days before ,keith's death4 ,an error in the original address1 doubtless due to his exhaustion1 had sent it far astray4 ,the letter said3-- ,,my ,,own ,,anna1--,i am here in ,raleigh in a comfortable house1 and with kind people1 but ,i fear that ,i am very ill1 and that the end is now not far away1 and ,i want you as soon as you can come to me4 ,i hope there will be no need of alarming you with a telegram1 for ,i know that you will start as soon as this reaches you1 and that will be in good time4 ,do not think that this crisis is sudden and unforeseen4 ,the physician in ,baltimore told me plainly that ,i could have but a short time to live1 and when ,i knew that ,i hastened to reach you as quickly as ,i might4 ,it was for you only1 ,anna1 in all the world that ,i longed4 ,i believed that a few weeks of quietness were for us1 not harder than we could bear1 being together4 ,i think you will know that something turned me back almost at my journey's end4 ,john ,gregory is honest1 and he will tell you1 if indeed he knows himself4 ,i do not know now what he said to me1 ,i do not care to remember4 ,whatever it was it should have had no weight1 being spoken1 ,i know1 under some strong excitement1 but with it there went that strange1 irresistible influence which ,gregory exerts over me1 and before which ,i was1 or seemed to myself1 powerless4 ,i felt his will was for me to go back1 not onward to you1 and ,i yielded as if unable to do otherwise4 ,i do not know1 ,i cannot understand4 ,i wish it had not been so1 but rather for him than for myself1 for ,i know that in his higher mood the thought of that night must be hateful to him4 ,i want to say now while ,i can that neither you nor he must look upon these events in a way to exaggerate or overemphasize their importance4 ,i can see that you with your sensitive conscience and he with his great moral severity may judge over hardly4 ,the difference to me has not been great4 ,the end was very near1 and is not hastened1 and ,i shall see you yet before it comes4 ,if ,i had not been weak ,i should have kept on my way4 ,it was my weakness that sent me back rather than the outward compulsion4 ,i shall not want to talk of this when ,i see you1 ,anna1 and so ,i will write to-day some things which have come to my mind this winter1 for ,i have come to see many things in a new light4 ,john ,gregory loves you4 ,i do not blame him for that1 nor wonder4 8,we needs must love the highest when we see it40 ,he is a man of great power and of the highest spiritual ambition4 ,he is far nearer to you in ability than ,i2 he could enter more deeply into your purposes and sympathize in fuller measure with your intellectual life4 ,i believe you could have loved him1 if you had been free1 and that the union of two such natures would have been nobly effective for good4 ,but ,i found you first1 and with my fond dream that a sign was given me1 won you for my wife4 ,what then8 ,it fell to my part1 although not of my own will1 to give your life the shape it has taken4 ,sometimes ,i see plainly that ,i1 a poor1 pale1 colourless fellow1 wholly beneath both you and ,john ,gregory1 have maimed both your lives1 so much stronger and more potential than mine could ever be4 ,and yet1 ,anna1 for all this ,i cannot wish the past undone4 ,i claim you wholly1 heartily1 for my own1 and whatever the future may hold for you1 and however the past has tried you1 ,i believe in your love for me1 and in the union of our spirits4 ,my heart is at rest4 ,my trust in you is absolute and beyond hurt or harm1 and all the joy my life has known has come through you1 my true and faithful wife4 ,never doubt this if you love me and would honour my name4 ,i wish to lay no hint of limitation or direction upon your future4 ,wherever you go1 the dear ,lord will go with you1 and you will bring peace and consolation4 ,you cannot go astray1 nor your work be brought to naught1 for ,god is with you4 ,all that ,i have is yours without reserve or condition1 beyond the few legacies ,i have named in a letter to my lawyer in ,fulham4 ,use what was ours together freely wherever you will1 whether to establish ,fraternia1 or in any line of effort which appeals to you4 ,my keenest regret is that heretofore ,i have withheld from you what you desired4 ,forgive me4 ,those scruples look small and mean to me to-day4 ,good night1 my ,anna--my ,benigna1 my highest grace and blessing4 ,do not think of me as left comfortless4 ,i am not alone4 ,the ,king is at the door1 and ,i hear his voice4 ,he has even come in and will sup with me and ,i with him4 ,let his peace be upon us both4 ,,keith4 99 99 99 99 99 ,it was morning4 ,entering her room1 ,gulielma ,mallison found ,anna fully dressed1 standing in a stream of sunshine1 with a brighter light than that of the sun upon her face4 8,oh1 mother60 she cried1 stretching out both her hands1 8,i can live4 ,i can sleep4 ,i can even cry now4 ,oh1 these tears6 how they have fallen like rain on a thirsty ground4 ,see1 mother2 after all ,i am young still and strong4 ,feel my pulse1 how full it is this morning1 how strong and steady6 ,i am at peace4 ,the peace of ,god has come to me at last4 ,keith has comforted me40 ,,chapter ,,xxxviii ,tolerant plains1 that suffer the sea and the rains and the sun1 ,to spread and span like the catholic man who hath mightily won ,god out of knowledge and good out of infinite pain ,and sight out of blindness and purity out of a stain4 --,,sidney ,,lanier4 ,while we are not to forget that we have fallen1 we are not always to carry the mud with us2 the slough is behind1 but the clean1 clearly defined road stretches ahead of us2 skies are clear1 and ,god is beyond4 ,we were made for purity1 truth1 and fidelity1 and the very abhorrence of the opposite of these qualities bears testimony that our aspirations are becoming our attainments4 ,the really noble thing about any man or woman is not freedom from all the stains of the lower life1 but the deathless aspirations which forever drive us forward4444 ,better a thousand times the eager and passionate fleeing to ,god from a past of faults and weaknesses1 with an irresistible longing to rest in the everlasting verities1 than the most respectable career which misses this profound impulse4 --,,anon4 ,it was ,easter morning in ,bethlehem4 ,the stars still shone in the sky1 and the little town lay in the hush and stillness which precede the earliest dawn1 when suddenly1 far off1 like a whisper from the sky1 the tones of the trumpets could be heard announcing the risen ,christ4 ,down through the quiet streets passed the solemn choir1 the trombones blowing their deep-breathing melody in full and thrilling power4 ,they stopped for a little space upon the bridge1 and as their herald choral swelled and grew and filled the air1 lights came out in visible response here and there throughout the sleeping town2 and as they passed on down the streets1 under the starlit sky1 groups of men and women joined them in quiet fashion until the procession grew to a great though silent throng4 ,from the ,widows' ,house ,gulielma ,mallison and ,anna came out and stood together for a moment in the dusk1 watching the approaching stream of people as it moved forward in the gloom1 and listening to the strains of music which called to their ears3-- 8,rise1 heart2 thy ,lord is risen60 ,soon the procession had reached their door1 and1 joining it with humble gladness1 mother and daughter followed with the rest1 greeting their friends and neighbours in simple1 heartfelt kindliness4 ,the church was reached1 and within it a solemn service was begun1 and continued until the brightening of the eastern sky gave token of the sunrise4 ,then1 as with one accord1 and with the quietness of dear and familiar custom1 the great congregation streamed out into the twilight of the early dawn1 and1 again forming in procession1 moved forward up the winding hill to the cemetery1 the choir with the pastor leading the way4 ,it was an early spring1 and on the air was the thrill of awakening life4 ,as she stood in the midst of the reverent throng now waiting1 as if expectant1 in the still churchyard1 ,anna felt the deep significance of the time as it had never been given her to feel it before4 ,again the trombones poured forth their deep1 yearning music in the ancient ,easter hymn1 the people singing in full chorus3-- 8,amen6 ,come1 ,lord ,jesus6 ,come1 we implore thee2 ,with longing hearts we now are waiting for thee2 ,come soon1 ,o come60 ,then followed1 in slow1 rhythmic chant1 the noble words of the old ,moravian liturgy3-- 8,this is my ,lord1 who redeemed me1 a lost and undone human creature1 purchased and gained me from all sin1 from death and from the power of the devil2 8,not with gold or silver1 but with his holy1 precious blood1 and with his innocent suffering and dying2 8,to the end that ,i should be his own1 and in his kingdom live under him and serve him in eternal righteousness1 innocence1 and happiness2 8,so as he1 being risen from the dead1 liveth and reigneth world without end40 ,with awe and joy came back the great volume of the response3-- 8,this ,i most certainly believe40 8,keep us1 oh ,lord10 came then the prayer1 8in everlasting fellowship with those of our brethren who since ,easter ,day have entered into the joy of their ,lord and with the whole ,church triumphant1 and let us rest together in thy presence from our labours40 ,the sun rose4 ,the quiet ,god's ,acre was gilded with its misty beams1 and the pale opal tints of the morning clouds reflected its glory4 ,from the whole assembly burst forth the mighty hallelujahs of the hymn of praise1 borne up by the deep diapason of the trumpets3-- 8,the ,lord is risen4 ,he is indeed risen40 ,as ,anna came out of the churchyard in the sunrise light1 the peace of ,god was in her look1 and the victory of the ,resurrection morning shone in her eyes4 ,hardly had she reached the street1 when some one who had stood1 awaiting her coming1 put out his hand and greeted her4 ,it was ,pierce ,everett4 8,i saw you in the churchyard10 he said4 8,i wish to speak to you now1 if ,i may40 ,anna welcomed him with quiet gladness1 and they walked on together through the street1 until they were beyond the crowd4 ,then ,anna asked3-- 8,do you come from ,fulham80 8,oh1 no10 was the answer1 8from ,fraternia1 or from what was ,fraternia4 ,my home is there now1 and will be40 8,i did not know10 ,anna said simply1 not finding it easy to say more4 8,there is little left there now of the old village or of the old life4 ,even the name is gone4 ,they call it ,gregory's now40 8,i heard that the land had gone into the hands of the man who held the mortgage40 8,yes1 it is all gone now2 all except the bit of ground that ,mr4 ,gregory's house stands on4 ,the house and land we have kept for our own40 8,and there you live alone8 ,are all the others gone80 8,nearly all4 ,some stay and work in the cotton mill1 which has been enlarged1 but the cabins are mostly used now by the coloured people who work the land1 and are employed also in the mill40 ,they were silent for a moment1 and then ,everett said3-- 8,we have heard that you are going soon to ,india4 ,is it true80 8,yes1 ,i go next month40 8,as a teacher80 8,yes1 partly1 but ,i am also to be connected with a hospital4 ,you know that is work which ,i have always liked1 and this is to be a new hospital1 bearing my husband's name40 ,everett was silent1 and ,anna noted as she had not before the profound sadness of his face4 ,presently he looked at her with undisguised anxiety and asked a question which she had already begun to dread4 8,would you be willing to see ,mr4 ,gregory before you go80 ,a painful change passed over ,anna's face4 8,i cannot10 she replied quickly2 8it is not necessary4 ,is he here1 ,mr4 ,everett8 ,did he come with you80 and he noticed that she trembled and lost colour4 8,no10 he answered very gently2 8do not be troubled4 ,he is not here4 ,he will not seek to find or follow you4 ,he will never leave ,fraternia again40 ,her eyes questioned his face1 for it was impossible not to detect some melancholy significance in his words4 8,mr4 ,gregory has received a severe injury10 ,everett went on1 as if in answer to her look4 8,it was a month ago4 ,he was at work with the lumbermen up in the ravine4 ,he was working midway of the river1 which was unusually high1 and he slipped and fell4 ,before he could get to his feet1 a heavy log which was carried forward very swiftly by the current struck him with tremendous force and stunned him4 ,we were near enough to reach him almost immediately1 but the blow was on the spine1 and it produced instantaneous paralysis4 ,he will never walk again40 ,swift changes had passed over ,anna's face4 ,in a softened voice she said3-- 8,how strange1 how very terrible4 ,is he himself in other ways80 8,perfectly4 ,his mind was never clearer nor more active4 ,i think he was never stronger in spirit4 ,his body is a magnificent wreck1 that is all40 8,and he does not wish to leave ,fraternia80 8,no1 ,i think nothing could suit him so well as our little stronghold in the solitude there4 ,he does not mind the changes even1 as one would expect4 ,there is no bitterness4 ,he is too large-minded for that4 ,he acknowledges himself defeated1 but his faith is still strong in his cause40 8,and how about yourself80 8,i am with him1 heart and soul10 ,everett answered1 with strong emphasis2 8nothing could take me from him now1--unless my presence ceased to be acceptable to him4 ,he is1 in spite of all that has passed of failure and defeat1 my leader1 and will be to the end4 ,he is imperfect1 being human2 perhaps there are men least in the kingdom of heaven who are greater than he4 ,nevertheless1 he is the bravest man ,i have ever known and the most sincere1--,i would almost add1 the humblest4 ,so we live on together4 ,he writes1 ,i paint4 ,barnabas takes care of the house for us1 and little ,judith gives us the touch of womanhood we need to humanize us4 ,an oddly assorted family perhaps1 but we are satisfied40 ,anna listened with intense eagerness to every word1 and found sincere satisfaction in the simple picture which ,everett had thus drawn for her4 8,and you have come to ,bethlehem--0 ,anna hesitated1 and ,everett took up the word quickly4 8,i have come all the way from ,fraternia to ask you to go back with me and see ,john ,gregory once more4 ,he may live for a number of years1 but it is hardly probable that you ever will see him again4 ,he asks this as the greatest kindness you can do him1 but he told me to say that1 if you do not feel that you can go1 he will still be perfectly sure that you are doing right40 ,something in the new note of humility1 of submission1 in the implied finality of the request1 most of all the vision of the strong man in his present helplessness and acknowledged defeat1 wrought powerfully upon ,anna's resolution4 ,they walked on silently for some moments1 and then1 turning abruptly to retrace her steps into the town1 ,anna said3-- 8,yes1 ,i will go with you4 ,we will start to-morrow morning40 ,it was late on ,tuesday afternoon when they reached the valley4 ,as they drove past the mill ,anna gave a sudden exclamation of dismay as she caught a passing glimpse of a well-remembered figure which she least expected to see again in ,fraternia4 8,that could not be ,oliver ,ingraham10 she cried1 8and yet no other man could look like him40 8,it was ,oliver himself10 said ,everett1 smiling a little4 8,how can it be8 ,what has happened80 8,to begin with1 ,i should tell you that ,mr4 ,gregory succeeded in paying back1 even to the last dollar1 ,mr4 ,ingraham's contribution40 ,anna's face grew brighter4 8,i am glad10 she said4 8,yes1 it was better1 ,i am sure4 ,but when this was accomplished a sense of compunction seized him toward ,oliver for some fancied harshness in the past4 ,six months ago he sent for him to come if he would1 and he appeared promptly4 ,mr4 ,gregory had conceived the idea that something better could be made of the man under right influences1 and he determined to make the attempt40 8,can you see any change80 asked ,anna1 still incredulous4 8,it was rather hopeless for a time1 only that he so evidently1 for all his former spleen and spite1 came to have a regard for ,mr4 ,gregory1 himself1 approaching worship4 ,but when the accident happened up in the woods and he saw ,mr4 ,gregory helpless as he is now1 it seemed to produce an extraordinary change in the fellow4 ,he is softened and humanized in a marvellous degree4 ,he can never be wholesome exactly to ordinary mortals4 ,i sometimes think he is a snake still1 but a snake with its poisonous fangs drawn4 ,yes1 ,mr4 ,gregory has made it possible to hope for good even from ,oliver40 8,only a great nature could have made that possible10 said ,anna1 musingly4 8,yes10 responded ,everett1 8and only then a great nature which had learned obedience by the things which it suffered40 ,anna was silent4 ,this action of ,gregory's seemed very great to her1 so wholly was it in opposition to his deep1 instinctive antipathy toward ,oliver4 ,this man had seemed to embody in himself the evil forces which had entered ,fraternia to destroy all of highest hope and purpose with which it had been established4 ,and now ,gregory had stooped to lift up1 even to draw to himself1 the man in all his hideous moral ugliness4 ,idealist as ,anna had ever been1 she saw in the nature thus revealed to her1 in spite of failures and falls1 a more robust virtue1 a higher spiritual efficacy1 than any of which she had known or dreamed4 ,again she found herself convicted of a too narrow and partial view of the working of the human spirit in her passionate withdrawal from ,gregory in his time of temptation4 ,they had crossed the bridge now1 and up the wooded slope ,anna saw ,barnabas and little ,judith standing before the door of ,gregory's cabin4 ,with simple and unaffected delight they welcomed her1 and then suffered her to enter the house alone4 ,when the door had closed behind her1 ,barnabas came up quietly and took his place upon the rude steps which his hands had laid1 and so sat1 throughout the interview1 as one self-stationed1 to keep guard4 ,the interior of the cabin was as it had always been1 with its rude furniture and its one picture1 save that a broad and capacious couch covered with leather stood with its head just below the south window4 ,on this couch1 with a rug of grey foxskin thrown over his limbs1 lay ,john ,gregory1 his head and shoulders propped high1 his powerful hands lying by his sides with their own expression of enforced idleness4 ,he lifted his head as ,anna entered1 and leaned forward1 raising his right hand in a pathetic salutation of reverence and gratitude4 ,overcome by the new and more august repose of his face and by the pathos of his look and gesture1 ,anna crossed to where ,gregory lay1 and fell upon her knees by his side1 her tears bathing his hand1 although this she did not know4 ,for a space neither spoke nor moved4 ,then1 as she rose from her knees1 ,anna said under her breath3-- 8,life is greater than ,i thought40 8,life is great10 returned ,gregory1 8because we live in ,god40 ,then he asked humbly1 all the fire of his earlier habit of speech quenched1-- 8,do you then forgive me80 8,yes1 ,i have forgiven you10 she said softly4 8,i could not until1 months after my husband's death1 a letter came to me from him1 which had been lost long in reaching me4 ,it was so noble1 so great1 so reconciling1 that it sufficed for all--even that10 she added1 with unsparing truthfulness4 ,then1 even more gently3-- 8,it is altogether from him that ,i am here to-day4 ,i could never have seen you again if it had not been for that letter40 8,then ,i owe to him the greatest mercy of my life10 said ,john ,gregory1 solemnly1 8and it is fitting that ,i should4 ,he was a gentler man than ,i1 a better man4 ,i did not rightly appreciate him when he was among us40 8,he had no noisy virtues10 ,anna said4 8,i think none of us perceived fully what he was until he was gone40 ,then with great delicacy she told ,gregory all that the letter had brought of reconcilement1 and especially the word to him4 ,he heard it in brooding silence1 and his face grew very calm4 8,i wanted you to know10 ,gregory began after a long pause1 8that my feeling toward you has not been evil or base or wholly selfish4 ,from the time ,i first saw that picture10 and he pointed to that above the fireplace1 8you became to me a kind of religion4 ,you stood to me for the absolute purity of my ideal1 untainted by self and sin and even sorrow4 ,that picture gave you to me as a virgin soul in the first dawning of a great and noble expectation4 ,it was a picture which a ,galahad might have worshipped4 ,but alas6 ,i was no ,galahad4 8,i was bringing the picture back to this country1 and it happened1 although you never knew it1 that ,i crossed on the same ship with you40 8,how could it have been10 cried ,anna1 8that ,i never saw you80 8,i was with my ,east ,london people in the other part of the ship4 ,but ,i used often to see you with your husband and with the many friends who always made a circle about you1 and ,i fancied ,i saw a change in your look1--a change which betokened a gradual dimming of your higher vision1 a fading of your ideal4 ,i thought the people about you were changing you to their own likeness in some degree1 and the thought haunted and disturbed me more than ,i had a right to let it4 8,i came to ,fulham with the picture1 which ,i had promised to return to ,everett4 ,when ,i reached his house late in the evening1 his mother received me and told me that he and #8all the world' were at a great reception at your house4 ,she further told me that your husband's mother had confided in her her hopes and her confidence that a new era of social leadership was now before you1 and added that you were indeed already quite #8the fashion' in ,fulham's aristocratic circle4 8,i had hardly an hour in ,fulham--hardly a moment to reflect4 ,i acted on my impulse and sought you and called you out from your brilliant company4 ,you know what ,i said4 ,my motive was pure1 ,i think1 whether the action were well judged or ill4 ,when ,i saw you before me in that brief interview1 in your loveliness1 and in the docility which underlay your frank and candid joy1 a strange impulse arose in me to gain some spiritual control over you1 to have an essential influence over your thinking and to direct your development and your activity as ,i believed would be noblest and best4 8,naturally ,i had no opportunity to carry out such an impulse for a long period1 but ,i think it never left me4 ,when ,i saw you that night in the audience at ,burlington1 ,i knew that you would go to ,fraternia4 ,i determined in my own heart that if it could be right1 you should4 ,there was no thought then or for many months that anything could arise between us which could impair our faith and duty4 ,indeed1 ,i never knew myself that it was you who had wholly mastered me rather than ,i you1 until that day on ,eagle ,rock4 ,when ,i left ,fraternia that night1 ,i knew all--to the very depth4 ,i understood the blindness and tyranny of my passion1 and ,i left1 meaning never to see you again4 ,benigna1 ,i did not have it in my heart to do you wrong1 least of all to do wrong to your husband4 ,it was the suddenness of his coming before me1 and the struggle ,i was myself undergoing1 which threw me at the moment into a kind of still frenzy of evil impulse4 ,gladly would ,i have died to atone for it4 8,now1 looking back1 ,i almost think ,i can see that ,i was permitted1 so far as my individual life was concerned1 to reach some climax of pride and passion1 that ,i might be brought low in my humiliation4 ,perhaps in no other way could ,i have learned the way of the ,cross than through seeing the failure of my own strength1 in which ,god knew1 ,i see now1 ,i had taken an unconscious pride4 8,there is nothing left of it4 ,no drop of the wormwood and gall has gone untasted4 ,but ,i believe solemnly to-day in the forgiveness of sins1 and rest in a good hope of salvation through our ,master1 ,christ40 ,again silence came between them1 a silence which was full of peace1 and then1 with something of his old abruptness1 ,gregory said3-- 8,and now you will tell me about your going to ,india4 ,you are glad to go2 so much ,i understand40 8,yes10 ,anna replied1 8it is a great fulfilment4 ,i have lived a whole round of life since ,i first felt the call to this service1 and now ,i come back to it with a purpose and conviction even deeper than those which first inspired me40 8,then the larger hopes of final destiny do not1 in the end1 weaken the missionary motive1 you think80 8,oh1 no4 ,that fear belonged only to the time of transition4 ,the message ,i have now is a far mightier and a more imperative one than ,i had at first4 ,i know something now of the reality of sin and its terrible fellowship1 and at least far more than in those old days1 both of law and of love4 ,i have learned also a greater reverence for man as well as for ,god40 8,yes10 he said quietly2 8it is true4 ,you have been in training for your work40 8,i am gladder than ,i can tell you10 continued ,anna1 8that ,i was withheld from going out on such a mission with the hard and narrow message which was all ,i had then to give4 ,it was you1 ,mr4 ,gregory1 who opened to me the great truth of the unity of the race1 you who taught me to see that #8redemption is the movement of the whole to save the part4' ,i share the burden of sin and suffering with all my fellow-men1 and ,i simply seek to lift that burden so far as ,i may where it presses most sorely4 ,can there be any doubt that this is where ,christ is not known1--among pagan nations80 ,john ,gregory thought for a moment before he replied4 8,i believe you are right10 he said finally4 8,the needs there are grosser than here1 and they are actual and intolerable2 inherent in the system1 not artificial4 ,you have the gift of high ministry4 ,you used it without stint for our people here in ,fraternia1 but the issues were inadequate to your powers2 for the conditions were1 after all1 abnormal1 being produced voluntarily rather than by necessity40 8,then do you feel1 ,mr4 ,gregory1 that the message of brotherhood1 of equality1 cannot be spread by such means as we tried in ,fraternia80 ,anna asked timidly1 and yet without fear4 8,i believe that such isolated1 social experiments1 for many years at least1 will be as ours has been1 premature and ineffective4 ,they are symptoms rather than formative agencies4 ,they have significance as such1 but are otherwise unproductive4 8,i have not learned this lesson easily10 he added with a faint return of his rare smile1 and the swift1 strong gesture with which he had always been wont to dash the hair from his forehead4 ,anna knew without words that in the fall of ,fraternia his dearest hopes1 his most cherished plans1 and highest pledges had fallen too4 ,it was not necessary to open the old wound that she should know his pain4 8,there are more steps between the clear perception of a condition and the application of remedial measures than ,i supposed before ,i started our colony here4 ,i was in a hurry1 but ,god seems to have plenty of time4 ,there must be years1 generations1 perhaps--,i sometimes fear it--centuries still of education and training before men understand that they are not created oppressors by the grace of ,god1 nor oppressed by the will of ,god4 ,i read this the other day10 he continued1 taking a book from the table beside him2 8it will show you what ,i mean3 #8,when a man feels in himself the upheaval of a new moral fact1 he sees plainly enough that that fact cannot come into the actual world all at once--not without first a destruction of the existing order of society--such a destruction as makes him feel satanic2 then an intellectual revolution2 and lastly only a new order embodying the new impulse4' 8,that is good10 he commented1 laying the book down1 8but what is said there in a few sentences may1 in actual fulfilment1 require several centuries40 8,it is hard to wait10 said ,anna4 8,yes1 it is hard10 ,gregory repeated1 his eyes resting on her face with that sympathetic response to her thought which1 she was startled to find1 could still stir the old warm tremor in her heart2 8but ,i can wait1 can't you8 ,you can if you believe1 as we are bound to believe1 in a #8divine event toward which the whole creation moves4' ,i believe1 ,i thank ,god1 also1 that1 unworthy and powerless as ,i am in this marred soul and destroyed body of me1 ,i can still hope1 still work1 still greet the unseen and expect the impossible40 ,they talked long1 and ,anna rose at last to go4 8,oh1 you will be leaving now60 ,john ,gregory cried1 as if he had forgotten that she did not belong to ,fraternia4 8,yes10 ,anna said gently1 8,i am to return to ,spalding in an hour for the night1 and ,i start home from there in the morning40 8,yes10 he said1 8that is right4 ,you must go20 but with the thought all colour left his face1 and his breath came hard and fast4 ,she saw the physical change in him then4 ,she had hardly seen it before4 8,can ,i help you8 ,can ,i bring you anything you need80 she asked quickly4 ,he pointed to a glass on the mantel1 and said1 smiling faintly3-- 8,it is so new to make others wait on me4 ,it is not quite easy to lie here and submit to be served1--even by you1 ,benigna40 ,as she brought him the glass1 the simple act of service bore with it a peculiar power of suggestion and produced upon ,anna herself an effect far beyond its apparent importance2 for1 as she thus served ,gregory in his helplessness1 a wave of yearning compassion and pure womanly tenderness broke over her heart4 ,he would lie here for years1 perhaps1 prostrate1 defeated1 suffering1 and she who had so loved him would go her way and leave him alone and uncomforted6 ,could it be right8 ,before the imperious power of this question all other motives lost their significance4 ,gregory had recovered from the sharpest effect of his agitation1 and raised his eyes again1 full of patient and quiet sorrow4 8,tell me10 she cried low and breathlessly1 8shall ,i stay8 ,i said ,i wished only to go where was most need of me4 ,is it here8 ,oh1 ,i trust you wholly now1 ,john ,gregory6 ,if you need my service1 ,i will serve you while we both live40 ,then1 as they faced each other with looks of solemn question1 ,anna saw into the depth of the man's strong spirit1 and she was prepared for what would follow4 8,that might have been10 he said very slowly1 and as if he were pronouncing his own doom1 8even that unspeakable joy2 but ,i myself1 my child1 made it impossible4 ,do you no longer see the great gulf fixed between you and me80 ,he was holding both her hands now1 and his own were firm and steady1 but his face reflected the stern agony of the moment1 while that of ,anna was white as death4 ,a throbbing silence filled the room1 and all the air seemed to vibrate with the fierce pulsations of their hearts1 for in both the cry arose that their punishment1 self-inflicted1 was greater than they could bear4 ,then calmness fell1 for as with one consent their eyes met again1 and each perceived the light of a final spiritual conquest1 and the shadow of an ultimate renunciation4 ,again1 as once before1 ,john ,gregory said1 8,it is the end10 and thus1 most quietly1 they parted4 99 99 99 99 99 ,it was evening when ,anna left ,fraternia4 ,as the road entered the woods where the valley widened to the plain1 she turned and caught a last glimpse of the solitary light which shone from the lowly house on the river's farther side4 ,through all the years and changes which remained to her1 never did ,anna lose the vision of that light1 shining apart in the high valley4 ,but ,john ,gregory she never saw again4 ---------------------------------------- -------------------------------- ,transcriber's note3 #a4 ,silently corrected typographical errors and variations in spelling4 #b4 ,archaic1 non-standard1 and uncertain spellings retained as printed4