,hathi,trust ,digital ,library47 ,transcriber's ,notes #a4 ,typographical errors were silently corrected4 #b4 ,the text version is coded for italics and other mark-ups i4e41 7a7 ,italics are indicated thus italic2 7b7 ,bold thus bold2 and 7c7 ,images are indicated as ,illustration2 7d7 ,footnotes are placed at the end4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,psychoanalysis ,,and ,,love ,,psychoanalysis ,,and ,,love ,,by ,,andre ,,tridon ,member of ,the ,medico-,legal ,society of ,new ,york ,city1 ,the ,society for ,forensic ,medicine of ,new ,york ,city1 and ,the ,international ,association for ,individual ,psychology of ,vienna1 ,austria4 ,illustration ,,new ,,york ,,brentano',s ,,publishers ,copyright1 #aibb1 by ,,brentano',s ,all rights reserved ,,printed ,,in ,,the ,,united ,,states ,,of ,,america ,,contents ,,chapter ,,page ,i ,,the ,,head ,,and ,,the ,,heart #a ,love is independent from the will4 ,victims of ,venus4 ,love and affection4 ,erotropism4 ,what is the heart8 ,a dead heart can be made to beat4 ,the heart is a respectable organ4 ,the antithesis head-heart4 ,nerve memory4 ,,ii ,,the ,,choice ,,of ,a ,,mate #aj ,what we see in our mate4 ,the meaning of choice4 ,the donkey's dilemma4 ,chance in the discard4 ,the dog's choice4 ,the behavior of copepods4 ,,iii ,,the ,,quest ,,of ,,the ,,fetish #ag ,the hair fetishist4 ,everybody a fetishist4 ,most common fetishes4 ,the breast and the bottle4 ,feminine fetishes4 ,physiological necessities4 ,foot and shoe fetishism4 ,non-physical fetishes4 ,symbolical fetishes4 ,antifetishes4 ,attraction or obsession8 ,,iv ,,the ,,family ,,romance ,,and ,,the ,,family ,,feud #bi ,the ,oedipus complex4 ,the ,freudian view4 ,jung's interpretation4 ,adler4 ,pseudo-incest4 ,the ,neurotic life plan4 ,imitation4 ,the glands4 ,identification mania4 ,early conflicts4 ,death wishes4 ,our preferences4 ,craig's birds4 ,v ,,incest #da ,the incest fear4 ,incest in ancient times4 ,inbreeding4 ,the primal horde4 ,repressed incestuous feelings4 ,blood relations4 ,,vi ,,the ,,physiology ,,of ,,love #di ,the organism a unit4 ,love's stimulation4 ,the successful lover4 ,the unsuccessful lover4 ,calf love4 ,,vii ,,the ,,senses ,,in ,,love #ef ,sight4 ,auditory sensations4 ,smell4 ,the sense of taste4 ,touch4 ,holding hands4 ,the kiss4 ,the birth of the kiss4 ,kisses and electricity4 ,,viii ,,ego ,,and ,,sex #fe ,neurotic complications4 ,self-love4 ,ego in sex guise4 ,fatherhood4 ,war prisoners4 ,neurotic motherliness4 ,when ego and sex do not conflict4 ,,ix ,,hatred ,,and ,,love #gc ,a worried wife4 ,the test of love4 ,sour grapes4 ,brothers and sisters4 ,a negro hater4 ,reformers4 ,the syphilophobiac4 ,deluded martyrs4 ,x ,,plural ,,love ,,and ,,infidelity #hc ,polyandry4 ,infidelity4 ,when love dies4 ,iwan ,bloch's and ,hirth's theories4 ,bored wives4 ,getting even4 ,varietists and ,don ,juans4 ,the ultra-feminine4 ,messalina4 ,,xi ,,is ,,free ,,love ,,possible8 #ie ,man1 the dissatisfied4 ,the next step4 ,blissful blindness4 ,what of the child8 ,disharmony between the parents4 ,the institution child4 ,free love plus birth control4 ,,xii ,,prostitution #ajd ,economic factors4 ,lombrosos's theory4 ,sensuality4 ,father fixation4 ,prostitution a neurosis4 ,the pimp4 ,prevention4 ,prostitution has no redeeming grace4 ,,xiii ,,virginity #aab ,what men experienced in love want8 ,ethical prostitution4 ,the fear of woman4 ,the will-to-be-the-first4 ,telegony4 ,goldschmidt's explanations4 ,,xiv ,,modesty1 ,,normal ,,and ,,abnormal #abb ,in ,turkey4 ,on the modern stage4 ,normal modesty4 ,suggestive draperies4 ,excessive modesty4 ,immodest modesty4 ,fear of love4 ,the masculine protest4 ,lack of modesty4 ,,xv ,,jealousy #acc ,forel's rules for husbands4 ,very few men and women admit their jealousy4 ,jealousy and impotence4 ,childish behavior4 ,the ego rampant4 ,sexless jealousy4 ,husbands and lovers4 ,cruelty4 ,making people jealous4 ,,xvi ,,insane ,,jealousy #adg ,delusional jealousy4 ,homosexualism and jealousy4 ,a jealous wife4 ,a case of projection4 ,masked sadism4 ,,xvii ,,homosexualism4 ,,its ,,genesis #aee ,male lovers in ,greece4 ,women were harem slaves4 ,the tide turns4 ,theories4 ,the third sex4 ,transvestites4 ,are transvestites homosexual8 ,metatropism4 ,steinach's experiments4 ,perverse birds4 ,freud denies the third sex4 ,active and passive types4 ,the homosexual neurosis4 ,a safety device4 ,above and below4 ,a way out4 ,the escape from biological duties4 ,,xviii ,,homosexualism ,a ,,neurotic ,,symptom #agd ,a denial of life4 ,homosexualism is negative love4 ,the love letters of famous homosexuals4 ,deeds of violence4 ,a homosexual tragedy4 ,women more homosexual than men4 ,boastful homosexuals4 ,the ,nietzsche-,wagner feud4 ,shall perverse love be recognized8 ,man's emancipation from woman4 ,homosexualism and war4 ,is homosexualism necessary8 ,,xix ,,cruelty ,,and ,,love--,,sadism #ahh ,algolagnists4 ,the ,marquis de ,sade's biography4 ,what ,bonaparte thought of him4 ,glandular drunkenness4 ,atavism4 ,primitive religions4 ,primitive races and sex violence4 ,animal love fights4 ,the sadistic mob4 ,is the male more cruel8 ,,xx ,,love ,,that ,,craves ,,suffering--,,masochism #bjj ,sacher ,masoch's biography4 ,love of the whip4 ,the masochist is like a tired horse4 ,shoe fetishism4 ,craving for humiliation4 ,masochistic fancies4 ,are women masochistic8 ,women who enjoy a beating4 ,a ,freudian suggestion4 ,,xxi ,,what ,,love ,,owes ,,to ,,sadists ,,and ,,masochists #bab ,sadistic and masochistic lovers and their fascination4 ,the vamp4 ,those who are too normal to be interesting or romantic4 ,,xxii ,,love ,,among ,,the ,,artists #baf ,dissatisfaction4 ,the male artist4 ,the female artist4 ,the woman who accomplishes things4 ,flattery4 ,,xxiii ,,the ,,personality ,,behind ,,the ,,fetishes4 ,,glands #bbc ,the parent-child relationship4 ,modern endocrinologists ignorant of psychology4 ,reciprocal influence of glands and behavior4 ,the pituitary gland4 ,the thyroid4 ,the adrenals4 ,the gonads4 ,,xxiv ,,glandular ,,personalities #bcc ,the dark skinned type4 ,the tall type4 ,the lean type4 ,the obese type4 ,the slender type4 ,environment4 ,comfort and behavior4 ,what teeth indicate4 ,matrimonial engineers4 ,,xxv ,,love ,,and ,,mother ,,love #bda ,sex cravings and motherhood cravings4 ,pregnancy means health4 ,fear of pregnancy4 ,when mother love is lacking4 ,frigid wives4 ,mother and father love4 ,mothers adore their sons4 ,fathers partial to daughters4 ,the flapper and her mother4 ,,xxvi ,,should ,,winter ,,mate ,,with ,,spring8 #bea ,two disinterested brides4 ,the case of ,wagner4 ,a parent fixation4 ,physical incompatibility4 ,the plight of two neurotics4 ,what will people say8 ,having her fixation-fling4 ,physical results4 ,the fate of the younger mate4 ,king ,david4 ,,xxvii ,,negative ,,love #bfc ,a clean life4 ,utterances and conduct4 ,oracles and prophecies4 ,can we save our vital force4 ,sublimation4 ,the sexless4 ,ideal love4 ,protective measures4 ,lovers of the absolute4 ,a troublesome patient4 ,higher aspirations4 ,,xxviii ,,the ,,new ,,woman ,,and ,,love #bge ,george ,bernard ,shaw's view4 ,the rebellion against nature4 ,woman in commercial life4 ,was it a sacrifice8 ,the pursuit4 ,the passing of respectable prostitution4 ,the abettor of ethical sins4 ,health versus sickness4 ,the passing of the flirt and of the doll4 ,modesty1 old and new4 ,the unadapted woman4 ,the proud husband4 ,,xxix ,,birth ,,control #bia ,what we expect of the modern woman4 ,the only solution4 ,the human milch cow4 ,the nightmare of abortion4 ,the plight of the neurotic woman4 ,the child of the neurotic woman4 ,birth control and indulgence4 ,a great love is a holy thing4 ,the passing of the double standard4 ,,xxx ,,the ,,passing ,,of ,,the ,,husband ,,worship #cjc ,is man's vitality declining8 ,undue pessimism4 ,the wise husband4 ,is the male indispensable8 ,loeb's experiments4 ,twins to order4 ,the mother is the race4 ,matriarchal communities4 ,modern woman is conceited4 ,the terrors of the climacteric4 ,masculine man is in no danger of passing away4 ,,xxxi ,,perfect ,,matrimonial ,,adjustments #cae ,marriage a compromise4 ,attractiveness an asset4 ,forty and hideous4 ,athletic movie idols4 ,the foe of married happiness4 ,friendship may survive love4 ,separate vacations for the married4 ,the play function of love4 ,psychoanalysis to the rescue4 ,wounded egotism4 ,democracy in the home4 ,,introduction ,life would be much simpler if love among human beings were similar to love among the animals4 ,at mating time1 any animal of any species feels automatically attracted to any animal of the opposite sex belonging to the same species4 ,age1 appearance or relationship seem of no account in the animal world4 ,the love activities begin at a definite time of the year1 have as their obvious and exclusive purpose the reproduction of the species and1 after attaining their goal1 end very early in the summer of the same year4 ,an exception may be made for a few wild and domesticated animals which have several mating seasons and for a few survivals of the prehistoric fauna1 like the elephants1 among which the family group seems more permanent than among more recent biological specimens4 ,nor do love activities among the animals result in lasting disturbances of their psychological life4 ,in certain varieties of fish the male never even sees the female whose eggs he fecundates4 ,while we observe at times duels to the death between two males for the possession of one female 7elks or moose71 animal life seems to suffer few lasting complications from the fact of such conflicts1 which1 like animal love1 are purely seasonal4 ,a greater regularity of the food supply which has intensified the sex urge among human beings and removed its seasonal character1 and the progress of civilization which1 for economic reasons1 has placed upon the union of male and female a thousand restrictions1 has complicated terribly what was merely among animals a periodic biological activity4 ,restrictions1 however1 never bring about the complete suppression of biological cravings and merely compel them to remain repressed for varying periods of time4 ,repressed cravings1 denied a direct normal outlet1 create for themselves indirect1 morbid outlets4 ,we are little more than civilized animals who have been trained not to reveal their primal cravings at certain forbidden times and places4 ,the cravings are there1 struggling for expression and denial of their reality does not suffice to make them unreal4 ,it only invests them with morbidity and abnormality4 ,much of the fearsome mystery which surrounds sex is due to the fact that we have forgotten our origin4 ,we have set up a goal which1 like all goals worth striving for1 is far ahead of the human procession and somewhere between the earth and the stars4 ,but that goal should not cause us to forget our starting point4 ,it happens too often that what we should be blinds us to what we really are4 ,hence our surprise1 our puzzled expression1 our painful disappointment1 when one of us reveals himself suddenly as he is instead of as he should be4 ,hence our absurd statutes which punish the laggards on the road of evolution instead of helping them along4 ,hence our fears in the presence of a mystery we have made mysterious1 of a danger we have made dangerous and which we make more terrifying yet by burying our heads in the sand4 ,to this day the study of love has been considered as the almost exclusive province of poets1 playwrights1 novelists1 movie authors and philosophers4 ,those people have reveled in love's dramatic complications which they have1 whenever possible1 exaggerated1 for artistic reasons4 ,instead of clarifying the problem1 they have beclouded it4 ,in anglo-saxon countries a class of neurotics countenanced by the police and the courts1 the puritans1 have further distorted the popular misconception of love by swathing it in the morbid veils woven by their unhealthy minds4 ,it is high time1 therefore1 that the subject of love be reviewed from an impartial angle1 from a purely scientific point of view4 ,only one science is qualified to undertake that review1 psychoanalysis1 for it has effected in the last twenty years a synthesis of all the data which biology1 neurology1 endocrinology and other sciences have contributed to the knowledge of human psychology and of the human personality4 ,no scientist is satisfied with his findings unless they can be described in terms of accurate measurements1 hence1 repeated and checked up by any other scientist having acquired the requisite minimum of technical skill4 ,the basis for such a study of love was established by the great pioneer in the science of psychoanalysis1 ,sigmund ,freud of ,vienna4 ,by his masterly analysis of the sex life1 to which1 however1 he has ascribed an undue importance1 he has stripped love of many veils which made it look like a scarecrow4 ,his successors1 recognizing the importance of other factors in the love life1 ego cravings1 organic predispositions1 etc41 have in turn stripped love of other veils which made it look too romantically unreal4 ,thus we are gradually reaching the heart of the problem4 ,love to-day is no longer animal love1 nor is it as yet angelic love4 ,we are no longer beasts1 altho the primal beast still disports itself in our unconscious4 ,nor are we angels1 arduous as our striving toward the stars may be4 ,to determine what love should be1 could be or might be1 seems to be an academic waste of time and little else4 ,to determine1 on the other hand1 what love ,,really ,,is ,,at ,,the ,,present ,,day1 what actual level it has reached1 to explain some of the difficulties it encounters in trying to remain on that level1 and finally to suggest to ,,men ,,and ,,women ,,of ,,to-,,day workable modes of adaption at that level1 shall be the mission of this book4 ,in the coming chapters1 ,i will show that our choice of a mate is as completely determined as any other biological phenomenon2 that the reasons for that choice are compelling habits acquired in our childhood and infancy within the family circle2 that our standards of beauty are memories from childhood and infancy2 that in our search for a mate we are influenced as powerfully by ego and safety cravings as by sex cravings that the so-called perversions are due1 at times1 to wrong training1 at times1 to organic disabilities and at times to unrecognized safety cravings2 that jealousy is1 in the majority of cases1 due to ego cravings1 not to sex cravings2 finally that no perfect adjustment of the married relation can be brought about until democracy obtains in the home1 replacing the various forms of autocracy against which bullied wives and henpecked husbands have directed many ineffective1 neurotic revolts4 ,new ,york ,city ,june #a1 #aibb ,,psychoanalysis ,,and ,,love ,,chapter ,i ,,the ,,head ,,and ,,the ,,heart ,love1 like hunger1 fear or pain1 is an absolutely involuntary craving4 ,we may deny it expression and gratification1 even as we may pretend that we are not hungry1 afraid or in pain1 and go without food1 protection or relief from pain2 but no exertion on our part will prevent us from experiencing love and craving its gratification4 ,nor can we experience it thru an act of will4 ,this absolutely involuntary character of the love craving must be borne in mind whenever we discuss the complicated and at times puzzling relations which it brings about between human beings4 ,the attitude of the average person to this question is extremely vague and illogical4 ,the person obsessed by love cravings which are not meeting with the approval of his environment1 justifies himself by stating loudly the overpowering character of his feelings3 ,i cannot help loving him or her1 ,it is a feeling stronger than myself1 ,it came over me suddenly1 ,it was a case of love at first sight4 ,victims of ,venus4 ,the ancients expressed their strong belief in man's helplessness against the allpowerful fascination of the love object by calling the lovelorn a victim of ,cupid or of ,venus1 a puppet of the gods1 of fate4 ,and on the other hand1 we behold modern and ancient lovers1 whenever they feel that the love object is growing indifferent to them1 reversing their attitude1 denying their belief in love's involuntary character1 and using words like fickle1 changeling1 to designate the love object they are losing4 ,they speak of deception1 of betrayal1 of faithlessness4 ,you no longer love me1 they state reproachfully4 ,they may ask the stupid question3 ,why have you ceased to care for me8 ,worse yet1 they may say to the love object2 ,you should be ashamed of your inconstancy4 ,such remarks are not infrequently coupled with another remark which goes more deeply to the root of the matter3 ,you should not show your indifference so plainly4 ,in other words pretence is expected when actual love has died4 ,and indeed nothing else could be expected logically by such illogical lovers1 unless of course a deep affection1 which may have grown between two human beings in the course of many years of life partnership1 successfully masks the passing of the peculiar fascination which differentiates love proper from any other human feeling4 ,love and ,affection4 ,we may love a human being more than ourselves1 enjoy infinitely his presence1 delight in giving to him mental and physical happiness1 lavish on him a thousand caresses and yet not experience the flash of desire which leads compulsively toward complete physical communion with that human being4 ,a simile from the animal world will make my meaning clearer4 ,a large number of animals enjoy light but only a small number of them are so fascinated by light that they cannot resist a craving to fly toward a light1 contact with which may mean death to them4 ,only that small minority can be called in scientific jargon positively phototropic1 in sentimental parlance hopelessly in love with light4 ,all animals are affected in some fashion by an electric current passing thru their bodies1 but only a minority of them are so affected by it that they must1 whether they wish it or not1 face the positive electrode1 as a lover fascinated by the face of his sweetheart4 ,only these can be characterised as positively galvanotropic4 ,erotropism4 ,likewise a hundred men may be charmed by the sight of a woman4 ,only one or two from their number may feel compelled to seek complete union with her regardless of the obstacles to be surmounted1 of the criticism their actions may arouse1 of the expenditure of time1 money and energy the adventure may entail4 ,only this minority may be considered as positively erotropic4 ,in other words it is the primal compulsion which nature uses to assure the continuance of the race and which ,i might designate as erotropism which must be considered the basis for a discussion of love4 ,love as commonly understood or misunderstood at the present day1 is a series of variations on the theme of erotropism1 variations due to the complication of modern civilisation and the restrictions placed upon all biological phenomena by the necessities of life in communities4 ,what is the ,heart8 ,the reader will notice that ,i have thus far avoided any mention of the heart altho that organ is commonly identified with the various emotions of love4 ,physiologically speaking1 the heart is no more vitally concerned with love than with any other disturbing feeling and emotion4 ,love may at times cause our heart to beat wildly1 but so does strong coffee1 so does acute indigestion1 so does blood poisoning1 so does any sort of violent fear4 ,the heart1 we must not forget1 is a mere muscle1 which is no more capable of being the seat of an emotion than our biceps or our calves4 ,the heart is an elaborate centripetal and centrifugal pump which1 in obedience to orders or impulses coming from elsewhere1 draws the blood out of the veins and sends it into the arteries at a varying rate of speed4 ,a ,dead ,heart ,can ,be ,made to ,beat4 ,the heart1 taken out of the body and attached to a well fitted system of pipes1 thru which an appropriate fluid is circulating1 will start beating anew and keep on beating until decay sets in1 due to the fact that the proper nourishment is lacking4 ,talking of a sensitive heart1 of a tender heart or of a heart of stone means merely juggling with pretty pictures which correspond to nothing physiologically4 ,there may be sensitiveness1 tenderness or stony harshness somewhere in the organism and the heart may give them expression by its fluctuating beats1 but it acts on such occasions as a mere registering apparatus4 ,adrenin taken by the mouth or injected into the blood stream causes the heart pump of a perfect indifferent man to throb as wildly as the heart of a lovelorn swain4 ,strong doses of the nitrates may cause valvular insufficiency and break a heart more effectively than any catastrophe in one's sentimental life4 ,the ,heart is a ,respectable ,organ4 ,the choice of the heart as the organ of the emotions1 in particular of the love emotion1 is certainly due to the fact that it is such a faithful registering apparatus and also to a displacement upward frequently observed in modern civilised thought4 ,we do not willingly mention the abdomen and therefore have rechristened it the stomach4 ,we have read many times the appalling statement that a woman carries her child under her heart4 ,the seat of the mind which materialist physicians of ancient ,greece located in the intestines1 rose later to the level of the solar plexus and with ,descartes finally reached the pineal gland4 ,likewise the part of the body where love cravings receive their physical satisfaction having become taboo1 the seat of love has been raised from the pelvis to the thorax1 from the primary genital region to the breast1 which bears secondary sexual characteristics4 ,after which1 the popular imagination has established an arbitrary contrast and antagonism between the mysterious clocklike organ in the chest and the mysterious soft mass in the skull4 ,the ,antithesis ,head-heart is one which literature is not likely to abandon for years to come4 ,we read that women follow the dictates of their heart while men are not so prone to lose their head4 ,the head is represented as the well-spring of reason while the heart is a fount of tenderness1 if not of foolishness4 ,modern scientific research has demonstrated that the brain is nothing but an apparatus for burning sugar which is transformed into electric current which the nervous systems distribute throughout the body4 ,thought of the normal type is impossible unless the various parts of the brain are perfectly coordinated1 just as the slightest accident to a telephone wire may leave a subscriber cut off from the rest of the world1 but thoughts1 feelings1 emotions1 cravings1 originate elsewhere1 in the autonomic nervous system4 ,nerve ,memory4 ,in our autonomic nervous system all our life impressions are indelibly recorded1 probably thru infinitesimal chemical modifications of the nerves and the resultant tensions4 ,pleasant nerve impressions 7pleasant memories7 direct us toward certain objects which are the source of such impressions1 unpleasant impressions drive us away from the outside stimuli which once produced them4 ,the former cause our heart to beat slowly1 peacefully1 powerfully1 the latter speed up the cardiac pump so as to send energy as fast as possible wherever it is needed for defence against harm4 ,pleasure1 indifference and pain1 built upon billions of nerve memories1 make up the woof of our thinking4 ,they ,,are our mind1 the mind that falls in love or falls out of love4 ,the head supplies the energy and the heart registers the rate at which energy is sent thru the body1 but the memories of which our thinking is made are stored up elsewhere4 ,in a scientific study of love1 therefore1 ,i shall leave the head and the heart as individual organs out of consideration4 ,,chapter ,,ii ,,the ,,choice ,,of ,a ,,mate ,love is a ,compulsion4 ,the most striking characteristic in the love craving1 one which differentiates it sharply from other cravings1 is the compulsory exclusiveness of its choice4 ,hunger drives us to seek a large number of substances which1 by filling the stomach1 relieve what ,cannon describes as a gastric itch4 ,the person in love1 on the other hand1 seeks only one single object at a time1 which alone seems capable of vouchsafing the desired gratification4 ,a lovelorn man may be surrounded by many women1 all extremely attractive and accessible1 and yet pine away for some other woman who perhaps does not compare favorably with those he might conquer4 ,he may1 at times1 yield to the temporary attraction of a new woman1 but in the majority of cases1 he will soon return to the woman he actually loves4 ,not infrequently his environment will wonder at his choice4 ,what can he see in her8 ,physically or intellectually1 anyone but himself would see very little to admire in her4 ,what ,we ,see in ,our ,mate4 ,the many handsome men whom we have met1 and who are mated to homely wives1 the many wives we have observed1 mated to impossible husbands1 and whose affection for their unprepossessing life partner is genuine and in no way dictated by sordid considerations1 the many triangles we know of1 in which a very inferior lover or mistress is preferred to an admittedly superior husband or wife1 are evidence of the involuntary1 nay compulsory1 character of the love choice4 ,a comparison imposes itself with certain obsessive fears or cravings bearing upon one object which1 to any one but the person experiencing such fears or cravings1 may appear anything but fearful or desirable4 ,the psychoanalytic investigation of the origin of such obsessions always shows that they can be traced back to childhood impressions which have modified our nervous reactions to certain objects or ideas4 ,the ,meaning of ,choice4 ,applied psychology and laboratory research have in recent years attached a more and more deterministic connotation to the term choice4 ,the word1 which to academic psychologists1 implied the exercise of free will and judgment1 will have some day to be accepted as synonymous with compulsion4 ,a few examples from animal behavior will illustrate my meaning4 ,philosophers have for years wasted breath and ink on the academic consideration of the following puzzle3 ,a donkey is standing at equal distance from two bales of hay2 the two masses of fodder are mathematically alike in size1 shape1 color1 fragrance1 quality1 etc4 ,unless the animal1 certain philosophers said1 was able to make a choice of his own1 he would remain motionless between the two bales whose attraction would be perfectly balanced4 ,he would1 like some celestial bodies1 be held suspended by two forces which would not allow him to turn to the right nor to the left4 ,he would rationally have to starve if attraction were a force exerting itself from the outside exclusively4 ,yet no donkey placed in such a situation will fail to make an immediate choice4 ,he will turn to one of the bales and start eating it4 ,even if we imagine a philosophising donkey reasoning as follows3 ,the two bales are equally attractive4 ,hence it makes no difference which one ,i start with4 ,let us begin with either4 ,even then1 he will have to make a choice1 altho his selection of one of the bales seems to be due entirely to chance4 ,chance in the ,discard4 ,psychological research has eliminated chance as a factor in human behavior1 and whether our donkey starts with the right or with the left bale1 an analyst will insist that there are reasons why he picks out that one bale to be eaten first4 ,laboratory dogs which have supplied solutions for so many psychological difficulties1 have proved of service in this case too4 ,if the slightest surgical operation has been performed on one side of a dog's brain1 he becomes unable to move in a straight line4 ,he deviates from the straight line toward the side on which his brain has been injured4 ,if the lesion is on the right side he will be compelled to turn to the right and vice versa4 ,this is due to the fact that the injury has weakened that side and the cerebral dynamo which supplies the body with power produces less current on the injured than on the uninjured side4 ,when you row a boat and slack one oar the boat turns toward the side on which you are expending more effort4 ,of course the process is reversed in a dog because the nerves of the dog cross over1 the right side of his brain supplying the left side of the body1 the left side of the brain supplying the right side of the body with power4 ,let us repeat on two dogs1 the experiment which academic psychologists imagined performed on a mythical jackass4 ,the ,dog's ,choice4 ,offer two pieces of meat to a dog whose brain has been injured on the right side and he will invariably eat the piece of meat nearer that side4 ,repeat the test on a dog whose brain has suffered a lesion on the left side and you will see him gobble the piece of meat on the left side4 ,go even further and place both pieces of meat on the left side of the dog injured on the left side of his brain and he will pick out the one farther out4 ,not that he prefers that one4 ,he will aim at the nearest but his injury will cause him to deviate too far to the left and he will be unable to reach the nearest one4 ,other experiments on dogs illustrate the purely organic motives back of certain lines of conduct4 ,when both sides of a dog's brain have been injured in the frontal region1 the dog refuses to go forward or downstairs but has a tendency to move backwards and to run upstairs4 ,when the back of a dog's brain has been injured on both sides1 the dog has a tendency to keep on running forward all the time and while he is unwilling to climb stairs he will willingly go downstairs4 ,the ,behavior of ,copepods4 ,when we pour carbonated water or beer or alcohol into an aquarium1 certain crustaceans called copepods will at once swim toward the source of light1 as tho they loved light1 and appear so interested in light that they will forget1 to eat their food1 if that food is placed away from the source of light4 ,the same animals when placed in water containing strychnine or caffein1 will shun the light as tho they hated it1 and as tho they loved the darkness4 ,we know that if a galvanic current is sent thru our head we will lean involuntarily against the positive pole4 ,if the current is sent thru an aquarium1 a number of the animals swimming in it will be compelled to seek the positive pole and to remain there1 others to seek the negative pole4 ,in the case of the laboratory dogs1 a permanent modification of the nervous system caused a permanent modification of the animal's behavior1 which could not be cured1 7for brain injuries do not heal1 the cells of the brain being unable to reproduce themselves71 but which would probably be compensated for by gradual adaptation4 ,in the case of the phototropic or galvanotropic animals1 the modification of the nervous system was only temporary but might cause a more or less durable modification of the animals' behavior1 if allowed to last a considerable length of time4 ,the love attraction or erotropism is likewise due to certain more or less lasting modifications of man's nervous system caused by the fact that his nervous system was for variable periods of time exposed to the influence of certain outside stimuli4 ,,chapter ,,iii ,,the ,,quest ,,of ,,the ,,fetish ,the papers now and then tell the story of some man who was caught in the act of clipping a little girl's braid of hair4 ,that man is what is called technically a hair fetishist4 ,hair is his fetish1 that is the part of a woman's body which attracts him more powerfully than any other part4 ,a search of the living quarters of that variety of delinquents generally reveals that they are in the habit of collecting women's tresses acquired in that fashion4 ,the tresses are almost always of the same color4 ,the ,hair ,fetishist whose unlawful activities bring him sooner or later into the clutches of the police is a neurotic who presents to an exaggerated1 abnormal extent1 a trait we find in all normal human beings4 ,every one of us is especially attracted by some part of the human body4 ,the young man who raves over his sweetheart's hair1 the young woman who blissfully runs her fingers thru her lover's hair are also hair fetishists4 ,but their craving is not strong enough to lead them into committing unlawful1 perverse1 socially inacceptable acts4 ,another widely spread type of abnormal fetishist described by novelists and psychiatrists1 but which very seldom gains newspaper notoriety1 is the foot and shoe fetishist1 who buys or steals all sorts of shoes4 ,he too is merely the exaggeration of the man who is delighted by the sight of a ,cinderella foot or a slim ankle4 ,with hair and shoe fetishists1 the fetish is more than a mere attraction2 it is generally a powerful sexual stimulant4 ,such fetishists experience1 while kissing or caressing their fetish1 sexual gratification of the autoerotic or of the involuntary type4 ,everybody a ,fetishist4 ,there are hundreds of varieties of fetishism1 normal or abnormal4 ,there is no person living who is not more or less subject to the compulsive attraction of some fetish4 ,there is in every man or every woman something which catches the onlooker's eye first and retains his attention longest4 ,this varies with every human being4 ,ask ten men to describe one pretty woman4 ,every one of them will probably head the list of physical qualities he has observed in her with a different fetish4 ,one will describe her as a blonde with a beautiful skin1 rather tall and well shaped2 another will state that she is a well-shaped woman1 rather tall and with blonde hair2 another will characterise her as a tall woman with an abundance of blonde hair1 etc4 ,i knew a man1 in no way abnormal1 who could not describe a pretty woman1 regardless of whatever her build was1 without making a gesture of the hand outlining ample breast curves4 ,most ,common ,fetishes4 ,women's hair1 throat1 neck1 shoulders1 arms and breasts seem to be the most frequently mentioned fetishes4 ,fashion and the law recognise that fact4 ,whenever women plan to make a physical appeal to men or women1 they dress their hair with special care and they wear low neck gowns1 thereby exhibiting those various fetishes4 ,it will be noticed that the parts of the body constituting the most widely appreciated fetishes are those with which the nursing child comes in most intimate and continuous contact4 ,to the child1 they mean safety1 comfort1 caresses1 food4 ,the color of skin or hair1 the shape of neck1 head and shoulders on which his glances rest while nursing or while being carried about by the mother1 are the only ones which will appear natural and safe1 hence beautiful1 to him in after life4 ,the breasts from which he derives a perfect food1 at the right temperature1 which flows easily into his stomach and is assimilated without effort1 the breasts1 whose texture and elasticity make them pleasant to lean upon while nursing1 may eventually become to his simple mind the most valuable part of the female's body4 ,the ,breast and the ,bottle4 ,my observations on several hundred men fed at the breast or on the bottle in infancy1 have revealed to me that practically all the men nursed by a woman were greatly attracted to women with well developed breasts4 ,the majority of men nursed on the bottle1 on the other hand1 preferred thin1 boyish looking girls1 some of them even expressing a distinct repugnance for rather buxom women4 ,it may be stated that of the few who did not confirm that rule there were several more or less neurotic individuals1 whom an unconscious fear of incest 7see ,chapter ,v7 had conditioned to fear the very type of women by whom they had been nursed4 ,arms and hands1 which to the nursling mean protection1 service1 caresses1 transportation1 etc41 derive therefrom their great attraction as fetishes4 ,feminine ,fetishes4 ,i have thus far mentioned almost exclusively fetishes from the female body4 ,there are several reasons why feminine fetishes are far more important to both men and women than masculine fetishes4 ,children of both sexes are exposed to the influence of the mother's fetishes more intimately1 more constantly and more profitably 7nursing71 than they are to the influence of the father's fetishes4 ,hence masculine fetishes are fewer and less numerous4 ,woman is less of a fetishist than man4 ,the most frequently mentioned masculine fetishes are the bodily attributes characteristic of strength1 and which1 hence1 would afford most protection to the infant and the female4 ,no perverse fetishism is observed in women1 no abnormal craving driving women into securing unlawfully men's hair or clothing1 etc4 ,some writers consider transvestite women1 women who enjoy masquerading in men's clothes1 as clothing fetishists1 but such cases are extremely rare and can be accounted for in other ways4 ,physiological ,necessities4 ,there is another reason1 a physiological reason1 for the great importance which men and women attach to the feminine fetishes4 ,more sexual excitement and a greater muscular tension are necessary in the male than in the female at the time of the sexual union4 ,the female1 being physiologically submissive1 can wait for her desire to grow under the influence of the male's caresses4 ,the male1 on the contrary1 has to be aggressive and cannot fulfill his biological part unless his desire has been aroused by other sensations than that of the sexual union4 ,hence the greater expenditure of time and effort on the part of the female to make herself attractive to the male4 ,hence also the long drawn courtship of flirtation thru which the female of every animal species endeavors to bring the male to the highest possible point of sexual excitement before surrendering herself to him4 ,foot and ,shoe ,fetishism is more complicated4 ,the mother's feet are the part of her body which the infant1 crawling on the floor or attempting to walk1 beholds most frequently and at the closest range4 ,that variety of fetish1 however1 should not be as strong as other fetishes more directly related to the child's nutrition1 comfort and safety4 ,when shoe fetishism become compulsive1 it is a neurosis due to the repression of some erotic desire aroused in childhood by some striking incident4 ,one case cited by ,freud1 illustrates that process4 ,a man to whom the various sex attractions of woman now mean nothing1 who in fact1 can only be aroused sexually by the sight of a shoe on a foot of a certain form1 is able to recall an experience he had in his sixth year and which proved decisive for the fixation of his libido4 ,one day he sat on a stool beside his governess4 ,she was a shriveled old maid who1 that day1 on account of some accident1 had put a velvet slipper on her foot and stretched it out on a foot stool4 ,after a diffident attempt at normal sexual activity1 undertaken at the time of his puberty1 a thin1 sinewy foot like that of his governess1 had become the sole object of his desires4 ,the man was carried away irresistibly if other features1 reminiscent of his governess1 appeared in conjunction with the foot4 ,through this fixation1 the man did not become neurotic but perverse1 a foot fetishist1 as we say4 ,i wish to call the reader's attention to the expression after a diffident attempt at normal sexual expression4 ,it indicates a feeling of inferiority1 likely to cause failure and also increased by failure which is always in evidence in every neurotic and which drives him toward easier goals1 along the line of least effort4 ,some of the ,freudians have suggested that foot fetishism is due to the repression of an early craving for the unpleasant odors emitted by perspiring feet4 ,as against such a far-fetched explanation1 ,i would offer the fact that foot and shoe are always associated in the unconscious of neurotic patients with the male and female genitals1 respectively4 ,we find the association of shoe and genitals clearly indicated in the old custom of throwing shoes and rice at departing newlyweds 7rice symbolising the fertilising seed74 ,odors1 sounds1 tactile sensations1 etc41 may also be powerful fetishes or antifetishes1 according to the impression they may have made on the nursling4 ,this will be discussed in more detail in the ,chapter entitled ,the ,senses in ,love4 ,fetishes may be of a non-,physical ,kind4 ,a profession may be a fetish1 and so can a mental attitude1 in short1 anything which in childhood may have been considered as a source of safety1 comfort1 egotistical gratification1 etc4 ,age itself1 is at times a fetish4 ,gerontophilia is a neurosis1 the victims of which are only attracted to very old men or women1 safety1 comfort and food having been assured them probably by a grandfather or grandmother to whom they clung for neurotic reasons4 ,many ,fetishes are ,purely ,symbolical4 ,some women fall in love with a uniform because that type of garment symbolises to them physical strength1 virility1 courage1 etc4 ,a uniform fetishist who consulted me during the war had given herself to half a dozen officers who appeared to her irresistible until they undressed or donned civilian clothes4 ,after which she felt indifferent to them and suffered remorse4 ,antifetishes1 parts of the body or their symbols which repel us in persons of the opposite sex1 can be due either to unpleasant experiences of childhood connected with such parts of the body or to a neurotic fear of incest4 ,a neurotic's resistance to a mother fixation may be so strong that in his 7unconscious7 fear of committing incest1 he shuns everything which in any woman reminds him of his mother4 ,a man whose violent mother and sister fixation had kept him till forty-five away from all women and made him homosexual1 felt extremely uneasy and slightly ashamed in the presence of tall blonde women1 the mother and sister type4 ,while he never enjoyed greatly the company of any woman1 he felt more at ease with small brunettes4 ,in his case1 blonde hair and a high stature had become strong antifetishes4 ,the ,quest of the ,fetish means then1 in last analysis1 the quest of safety4 ,if fetishes are so closely linked with sexuality1 it is mainly because a feeling of safety is one of the necessary conditions for sexual potency in the male and the female alike4 ,as soon as fear dominates1 the pelvic regions are starved of blood1 for the blood is then needed in other parts of the body1 head and limbs1 for fight or flight4 ,sexual impotence is the result4 ,this is probably why in primitive races we often find the erect phallus used as a symbol of safety1 as a primitive fetish vouchsafing imaginary safety and confidence4 ,this throws an interesting sidelight upon the real meaning of morbid fetishism4 ,as ,i said in one of the preceding paragraphs1 every neurotic feels inferior and seeks safety4 ,the hair fetishist1 for instance1 is inferior in some respect or considers himself inferior1 which is about the same and has the same consequences1 as far as ultimate mental or physical results are concerned4 ,the normal hair fetishist seeks a woman whose hair will symbolise to him the safety he enjoyed close to his mother's hair4 ,the abnormal fetishist will crave the possession of hair which alone will place him in turn in possession of safety1 a condition in which his sexual cravings will be easily satisfied4 ,not feeling capable of conquering a woman1 however1 he will cut off some one's tresses1 which will symbolise to him woman1 and the safety enjoyed in woman's 7his mother's7 arms4 ,in that fashion1 he also gratifies his craving for the line of least effort4 ,unwilling to face the social1 economic1 biological responsibilities that go with the possession of a woman1 he seeks in the fetish which he steals1 an easy1 selfish1 unsocial form of gratification4 ,that gratification is also a regression1 for it leads him back to the autoerotic practices of childhood4 ,attraction or ,obsession4 ,in the normal man1 then1 the fetish is an attraction1 influencing his choice of a mate4 ,in the abnormal man it becomes an obsession1 the fetish at times becoming infinitely more important than the part of the body it suggests1 at times causing the elimination of the sexual mate which it replaces entirely4 ,in the normal man1 the fetish1 being the bearer of pleasant memories from childhood days1 facilitates one's adaption to a life partner4 ,the abnormal individual1 unwilling to part with his childhood ways1 which were easier and safer1 either demands that the life partner be the absolute image of the person from whom he acquired his fetishes or prefers one safe fetish to any life partner4 ,in the next chapter we shall see how mental and physical1 real and symbolic fetishes are forced upon us by the various developments of the family romance which is always accompanied by a more or less marked family feud4 ,,chapter ,,iv ,,the ,,family ,,romance ,,and ,,the ,,family ,,feud ,the craving for food and safety1 gratified in our mother's arms1 the craving for safety gratified by the strong father's presence1 develop in our nerves automatic reactions of love or hatred 7fear7 toward other human beings endowed with or lacking our mother's and father's fetishes4 ,exposure to pleasurable or painful stimuli in infancy produces in our nerves a modification which could be roughly compared to the modification produced surgically in the brain of the dog mentioned in ,chapter ,,ii4 ,even as a dog can be conditioned to prefer turning to the right and to hate 7or fear7 running down stairs1 a human being can1 thru continued exposure to the sight of red hair in infancy1 become conditioned to prefer red hair4 ,many other factors1 however1 complicate the question of our likes and dislikes4 ,a child's environment contains many sources of stimulation besides the mother's and the father's fetishes1 all of them varying in intensity1 duration and character 7pleasant or unpleasant74 ,besides1 the child is forced at some period of his life into a more or less sudden and more or less pleasant contact with the outside world4 ,that contact1 which at times is a conflict1 often causes some of the early impressions made upon the infant's or child's nerves to be repressed1 thereby originating a conflict in the individual's nervous system4 ,and thus we are brought to a consideration of the family romance which various conflicts within the family circle and with the outside world1 not infrequently transform into a family feud4 ,the ,oedipus ,complex4 ,the complication designated by ,freud as the ,oedipus ,complex is one of the most potent1 altho at times one of the least obvious factors in family conflicts and in the mental disturbances which those conflicts occasion4 ,the ,oedipus ,complex is named after the ,greek legend according to which ,oedipus killed his father and later married his mother without being aware of their identity4 ,this is the form in which the ,oedipus situation appears in real life3 ,a male child may become overattached to his mother and develop a morbid1 more or less concealed1 hostility to his father4 ,the female child may become overattached to her father and manifest a more or less overt hostility to her mother4 ,there is no case of neurosis in which analysts do not discover a more or less marked maladjustment of that type4 ,in fact ,freud has gone as far as stating that the ,oedipus ,complex is the central complex of every neurotic disturbance4 ,the ,freudian ,view4 ,freudian analysts have somewhat dramatised the ,oedipus complex which they consider as due to incestuous longings4 ,those incestuous longings1 according to ,freud1 are in their last analysis1 a yearning of the child to return to the mother's body where the child enjoyed1 in its prenatal life1 absolute peace and comfort4 ,the average child manages to free himself gradually from the mother's body1 first seeking pleasurable sensations in his own body1 sucking his thumb1 playing with his genitals1 later becoming interested in other children like himself1 finally1 at puberty1 seeking human beings of the opposite sex1 etc4 ,some children1 on the other hand1 never seem to free themselves from the parent of the opposite sex4 ,they are technically designated as the victims of a mother fixation in the case of boys1 of a father fixation in the case of girls4 ,jung's ,interpretation4 ,jung1 head of the ,swiss school of psychoanalysis1 considers the ,oedipus complication from a broader point of view4 ,to him the father and mother are not real persons1 but more or less symbolic and distorted figures created by the imagination of the child4 ,the yearning of the child for its mother1 its jealousy toward the father are simply due to its desire to monopolise a perfect provider and protector4 ,pseudo-,incest4 ,to ,adler of ,vienna1 the ,oedipus complex is a fiction created unconsciously by the neurotic who is trying to fall back on the father or mother for support4 ,the boy1 afraid of life and of the responsibilities imposed upon a man by a normal sexual life1 is naturally inclined to cling fondly to his mother1 from whom he receives a love and adoration which need not be won or paid for or reciprocated and which in their demonstrativeness only stop short of sexual gratification4 ,the neurotic girl dreams of monopolising the father's affection and financial support which are not to be repaid by sexual intercourse with its consequences1 etc4 ,freud's interpretation explains certain details of behavior in boys with a mother fixation but the yearning to return to the mother's body does not explain a father fixation in a woman4 ,on the other hand1 ,jung's explanation fails to account for some of the grossly sexual details in the behavior of the fixation child1 such as great curiosity directed toward the parent of the opposite sex1 at times1 even1 attempts on the part of a boy to possess the mother in her sleep1 etc4 ,the ,neurotic ,life ,plan4 ,adler has clearly seen that the ,oedipus situation is not the cause1 but merely one of the details of the neurotic life plan4 ,a human being adopts that plan because1 owing to some inferiority1 real or imaginary1 7real to him71 he feels unable to compete with other human beings on a footing of equality4 ,the neurosis supplies him with a short cut to power along the line of least effort4 ,that short cut is selfish1 unsocial and1 hence1 productive of unpleasant results4 ,the mother-fixation man1 the father-fixation woman shirk their biological duties1 thereby leading an easier1 cheaper1 self-centered life which1 in the end1 vouchsafes them no real positive gratification4 ,what ,adler has left unexplained is how the parent fixation establishes itself in the neurotic4 ,imitation4 ,the ,oedipus situation is simply one of the consequences of the imitation by the child of the parent of the opposite sex4 ,imitation plays a tremendous part in human life and1 as far as behavior is concerned1 is an infinitely more powerful factor than heredity4 ,heredity endows us with a certain set of physical organs1 hence with a number of potentialities4 ,but the utilisation of those potentialities is left to the individual's destiny determined by his environment4 ,if the son of a splendidly developed prize fighter finds himself in an environment which countenances and lauds prize fighting1 physical power will probably become his goal early in life4 ,if his environment casts disobliging reflections on ring activities or if those activities have an unpleasant financial connotation for him1 7father disabled and poor71 the same boy will abstain from athletic training1 remain physically undeveloped1 perhaps even grow weak and stunted4 ,the ,glands4 ,as we shall see in another chapter1 the various glands of our body have a good deal to do with the shaping of our personality but the pressure of the social herd within which we live is also a tremendous factor for it compels us to adopt as models for imitation certain physical and intellectual types which are acceptable to the herd4 ,the degree of the pressure exerted by the herd varies greatly with social conditions4 ,the pressure is not the same in an ,alaska camp and in a ,new ,england village4 ,unnoticeable in an artists' colony1 it may become difficult to bear in a large family group including several members of the clergy4 ,children become grown ups by imitating grown ups4 ,a boy acquires a man's behavior by imitating his father4 ,a girl acquires womanly manners by imitating her mother4 ,at the same time a boy with a strong organism and1 consequently1 a fair amount of self confidence1 is not as slavish in his imitation of his father's ways as one who is cursed with a delicate constitution or who may have been made timid by fear-producing or humiliating experiences4 ,the former is more adventurous in every way and will1 not only roam farther away from his home1 but let his eyes also roam on men outside of the family circle1 whom he will pick out as secondary models4 ,the weak boy1 seeking safety and following the line of least effort1 will cling to the closest model1 his father1 and in extreme cases1 will identify himself with him4 ,the ,identification ,mania4 ,an exaggerated mania for identification is always a symptom of weakness and inferiority4 ,the weak man joins numberless organisations and derives a great deal of pride from the mere fact of his membership in them4 ,in general he will not allow anyone to discuss or criticise those organisations4 ,the anonymous citizen of ,chicago or ,chillicothe is easily aroused by criticisms of his native city overheard elsewhere1 for he identifies himself with his native city for lack of any distinction of his own4 ,members of so called aristocratic families1 themselves incapable of any achievement1 are most unbearable owing to their family pride4 ,they obscurely feel that if their relationship to some more or less distinguished ancestor was taken away from them they would sink into complete obscurity4 ,the stupid traveler who constantly flaunts the flag of his country wherever he happens to be1 is also an inferior who is trying to claim all the virtues which the jingoes of his land consider as national characteristics4 ,close imitation and identification with the person we imitate cannot but lead to conflicts1 for it sooner or later means that we encroach upon the rights of our model4 ,early ,conflicts4 ,the little boy who imitates his father1 identifies himself with him and tries to become his father1 may only provoke mirth when he dons his father's garments or carries his father's walking stick4 ,when he carries his imitation to the point of handling his father's razors or sampling his cigars1 he may court what1 to him1 is a very unintelligible1 illogical and humiliating form of punishment4 ,if father is always right1 why do ,i get spanked for doing what father does8 the child asks himself with a child's pitiless logic4 ,a profound hostility to the oppressive father may then grow in the mind of the imitative child1 in no wise due to sexual complications4 ,this is also the way in which a rivalry may arise between son and father for the non-sexual possession of the mother1 the freedom of her room and her bed1 the sole enjoyment of her caresses1 the sole disposal of her time1 the sole domination over her4 ,the father enjoys all those privileges1 and in order to be exactly like him1 the son must also enjoy them exclusively which is logically impossible and leads to unconscious death wishes4 ,death ,wishes4 ,the death wishes that lurk in the son's mind when his father and rival is concerned and reveal themselves thru dreams1 are not simply murderous cravings4 ,they are symbolical1 like the death wishes which some fond mother may express thru her dreams when her beloved child has interfered too much with her activities in her waking hours4 ,the imitative boy1 beaten in the race for all of his father's possessions1 of which the mother is the most valuable1 wishes his father out of the way4 ,if there are female children1 the imitative boy may1 after giving up the mother as an unattainable goal1 adopt toward one of his sisters the attitude of protection and ownership his father assumes toward his mother4 ,in such cases1 the feud is far from being as serious as it would be otherwise4 ,a sister fixation1 it goes without saying1 is far less dangerous than a mother fixation4 ,the sister is younger than the mother1 the obsession of her image being unlikely to attract the brother later to women much older than himself4 ,the love which a sister returns is also far from being as unselfish1 intelligent and indulgent as that which a mother lavishes on her child4 ,almost everything which has been said about the mother fixation applies to the father fixation in girls4 ,but we must bear in mind that owing to the tremendous biological importance of the mother1 a mother fixation is likely to have a deeper influence on a boy than a father fixation on a girl4 ,our ,preferences4 ,thus it is that the preferences we show when grown up1 for a certain human type1 are determined by the appearance and behavior of the males and females which were closest to us in the formative years of our life4 ,in the majority of cases it is the mother type or the father type which proves most attractive to boys and girls respectively1 the type being represented or symbolised by certain physical or mental fetishes4 ,in many cases1 the mother or father type have been modified or replaced by other masculine or feminine types which took the place of the mother or father during that important period of our life4 ,the woman who suckled us or fed us and attended to our various physical needs1 nurse or nurse maid1 may become the bearer of our fetishes4 ,in ,europe where the wet nurse and the nurse girl are infinitely more common than in this country1 the ancillary type of love1 love for servants and menials1 is observed with much greater frequency than here4 ,the ,southern man does not show the same repugnance as the ,northern man to consort sexually with colored women of the servant class4 ,the colored mammy's fetishes are found competing successfully in many cases with those of the white mother4 ,craig's ,birds4 ,those who believe that heredity1 instinct1 the call of the blood1 etc41 have much to do with the choice of a mate1 should read reports of experiments performed by ,william ,craig on pigeons4 ,ring doves and passenger pigeons never mate4 ,when the eggs of a passenger pigeon1 however1 have been hatched by a ring dove1 the young male passenger pigeons will1 at mating time1 ignore entirely the females of their species1 their flesh and blood1 and mate with female ring doves 7the mother image7 exclusively4 ,the fetishes which to them meant food and safety in the nest mean to them beauty and eroticism when they reach adulthood4 ,,chapter ,v ,,incest ,the family romance has been presented by the ,freudians as complicated by actual incestuous entanglements4 ,adler on the other hand has shown that the incestuous situation is rather an as if introduced by the neurotic as a part of his absurd life plan4 ,barring a few exceptions1 the small boy does not desire his mother sexually nor does the small girl feel erotic at the thought of her father4 ,that such incestuous desires arise at the time of puberty cannot be doubted4 ,but they are observed mostly in neurotics to whom the incestuous situation suggests1 as ,i pointed out in the previous chapter1 to the boy1 food1 comfort1 the mother's easily won love1 to the girl1 the protection and the attentions of the strong father4 ,in many cases too1 homosexual and incestuous practices among the children in one family mean nothing but the neurotic search for the line of least effort4 ,freud seeks at times very far fetched explanations for very simple phenomena in order to show the sexual motive at the bottom of them4 ,he states in his ,introduction to ,psychoanalysis that a girl may show great affection for a younger sister as a substitute for the child she vainly wished from the father4 ,the truth is that the older daughter1 in her close imitation of her mother1 also starts mothering a child4 ,a boy1 ,freud states in the same book1 may take his sister as the object of his love to replace his faithless mother4 ,he rather imitates his father and starts to protect and order about a little female of his age1 which at times1 when both have witnessed the parental embraces1 may lead to actual incest4 ,the ,incest ,fear4 ,incest is at the present day the form of sexual relation which provokes the most powerful expression of disapproval on the part of civilised and uncivilised races alike4 ,in fact the primitive races seem obsessed by a panicky fear of incest4 ,in many tribes1 brothers and sisters are not allowed to meet or speak to each other and1 in certain cases1 they must even avoid the sight of each other and eschew every mention of each other's names4 ,in the ,fiji ,islands1 where the rules against incest are especially rigorous1 there are1 on the other hand1 special holidays on which orgies are held in which incest becomes permissible4 ,in other words1 the natives of those islands1 while recognising the irresistible nature of the incest temptation and taking all sorts of measures in order to prevent the commission of that sin1 supply at stated intervals an outlet for incestuous cravings4 ,innumerable details of primitive legislation separate the son-in-law from the mother-in-law1 the father-in-law from his son's bride4 ,the ,basogas of the ,upper ,nile loathe incest to such a degree that they punish it even in animals whenever it can be observed among them4 ,incest in ,ancient ,times4 ,the horror of incest1 however1 is a relatively recent development in human psychology and ethics4 ,the ancient dynasties of ,egypt and ,peru practiced incest4 ,incest was indulged in by all the archaic gods4 ,the authors of the book of ,genesis must have accepted the idea of incest as the sole means of explaining ,adam's and ,eve's descendants4 ,the horror of incest which we all feel or pretend to feel1 is indeed an acquired feeling4 ,since every race has adopted stern legal measures to prevent incest1 it can only be because a desire for incest is one of the cravings which mankind is constantly struggling against4 ,as ,frazer says3 ,there is no law commanding men to eat and drink or forbidding them to put their hands in the fire4 ,men eat and drink and keep their hands out of the fire instinctively4 ,if men and women avoided incest instinctively no legislation would be needed compelling them to avoid it4 ,indeed the confessions received by psychoanalysts reveal that the first sexual desires of the young are directed toward children of the opposite sex within the family circle4 ,the many slight or serious indiscretions of an incestuous nature in which neurotic brothers and sisters indulge in infancy and childhood are generally forgotten1 that is1 repressed1 in later years1 but analytic probing brings a great amount of such repressed material to the surface4 ,since neither animals nor human beings experience any natural fear of incest1 why is it that all races are officially so afraid of it8 ,inbreeding4 ,it cannot be due to the fear of race deterioration consequent upon inbreeding4 ,inbreeding is not necessarily a harmful process of reproduction as ,east and ,jones have shown in their book on ,inbreeding and ,outbreeding4 ,it seems to have1 at times1 for instance in ,athens during the classic age1 led to the production of many very superior individuals4 ,furthermore the primitive savages who punish incest even among domestic animals have no conception of such eugenic theories4 ,some of them1 incredible as it may sound1 do not even realise the relation of cause to effect which exists between intercourse and pregnancy4 ,freud offers an explanation based upon the ,darwinian hypothesis of the primal horde in which the old father kept all the females for himself and drove away the growing sons4 ,this state of affairs has been observed among herds of wild cattle and horses4 ,it generally leads to the killing of the oldest bull or stallion by the younger males4 ,the ,primal ,horde4 ,freud assumes that this must have been the usual occurrence in the primal horde4 ,one day the sons joined hands and killed the father4 ,though the brothers had joined forces in order to overcome the father1 each was the others' rival among the women4 ,each one wanted to have them all to himself like the father1 and in the fight of each against the others the new organization would have perished4 ,for there was no longer any one stronger than all the rest who could have successfully assumed the role of the father4 ,thus there was nothing left for the brothers to do1 if they wished to live together1 but to erect incest prohibitions1 perhaps after many difficult experiments1 in the course of which they may all have renounced the women whom they desired4 ,in other words1 the incest taboo was adopted to assure peace within the family circle1 a convenience measure dictated by jealousy4 ,repressed ,incestuous ,feelings may at times drive one into a most objectional form of behavior4 ,a brother who in childhood was too fond of his sister 7or vice versa7 may1 from an unconscious desire for self-protection1 adopt a hostile attitude to his sister4 ,the more attracted he was to her the more sadistic he will appear in later years4 ,he may even avoid all the women who would in any way suggest his sister and in that way never feel satisfied in love1 for the women who cannot possibly suggest to him his sister1 lack all the fetishes which would vouchsafe him safety and eroticism4 ,such a man should be analysed and made to realise the incestuous cravings which he has repressed into his unconscious4 ,his hatred would then change into affection and in his search of a mate he would logically seek the sister image which alone would insure him sexual happiness4 ,i have reconciled in that way several groups of brothers and sisters who had never been able to get along after puberty1 altho most of them had developed a dangerous fondness for each other before puberty4 ,repressed sister fixation like repressed mother fixation has been found on several occasions as one of the components of homosexualism in the man1 father or brother fixation as one of the causes of frigidity in the woman4 ,blood ,relations4 ,mother or sister fixation is frequently the cause of marriage between blood relations4 ,this sort of union has been unjustly suspected of breeding mental inferiors4 ,we should rather say that it is the mental inferiors who seek their mate within the family circle4 ,unable to secure the mother or the sister as a mate1 they select a woman who has as many of the family traits as possible1 that they may feel more secure in her company4 ,if a defective child is bred of such unions1 it is not due to the close relationship of the parents but to the fact that too often one of the mates was deficient physically or mentally4 ,in this respect as in many others1 self-knowledge and acceptance of one's personality1 coupled with a courageous understanding of unavoidable biological facts1 are the necessary conditions for perfect mental health and freedom4 ,the man with a mother or sister fixation1 the woman with a father or brother fixation should be made aware of it1 however slight or severe the fixation may be4 ,they must be made to realise that incestuous cravings are biological phenomena which for reasons of convenience have been made unlawful but which do not brand the individual experiencing them as a degenerate or a vicious person4 ,they must also be made to realise that their incestuous craving may be one of the symptoms of the neurotic search for the line of least effort1 knowledge of which weakens the craving to the point of insignificance4 ,the individual with a biologically real incestuous fixation should accept it and seek its substitute gratification thru association with a suitable mate presenting in his or her person the fetishes of the loved parent or brother or sister4 ,the individual whose fixation is purely neurotic should be freed of it by analysis and allowed to seek a mate without being inhibited by ghosts4 ,,chapter ,,vi ,,the ,,physiology ,,of ,,love ,a human being has met another human being of the opposite sex and is attracted to him or her by the conscious or unconscious memories which his or her physical and mental make up brings back4 ,an organic compulsion drives a man to seek a certain woman who is to be his sexual mate4 ,we say then that the man is in love4 ,what is the tangible1 observable1 measurable meaning of the condition of being in love8 ,to understand this clearly we must bear in mind the principle which modern psychology is gradually adopting1 that of the unity of the organism4 ,the ,organism is a ,unit which cannot1 except for reasons of pure convenience1 be split into entities of a contrasted character1 such as body and mind1 matter and soul1 etc4 ,to every physical phenomenon corresponds a simultaneous mental manifestation and vice versa4 ,the body is the tangible aspect1 the mind1 the intangible aspect of the organism4 ,nor can any scientific distinction be drawn between the so-called grossness of the body and the spiritual quality of the mind4 ,nor can we establish in the body absolute lines of cleavage between the various organs1 heart1 stomach1 liver or sexual organs4 ,they are all closely interrelated and there again we find a profound unity of action4 ,when the nerves of the life division of the autonomic nervous system are set working1 the pupil will be contracted1 the saliva flow1 the heart beat more slowly1 the stomach secrete gastric juice and churn food1 the intestines push digested food toward the rectum1 and the sexual organs fill up with blood4 ,when the safety nerves are in action the pupil is dilated1 the saliva scarce1 the heart beats faster1 gastric activities cease or become reversed 7vomiting71 the intestines either stop their activity or are affected by diarrhea and the sexual organs are emptied of blood4 ,any stimulation applied to any of those organs will produce the specific stimulation indicated above in ,,all ,,the ,,other ,,organs1 tho in varying degrees4 ,in other words perfect peace and safety promote all the activities of the life nerves1 danger and fear promote all the activities of the safety nerves4 ,peace and safety build up the body and assure the continuance of the race4 ,danger and fear stop all the activities which are not directly concerned with fight or flight1 hence weaken the organism and stop the sex life4 ,peace and safety represented by the mental and physical fetishes of the mate toward whom we are driven by an organic compulsion are bound to produce in us most gratifying results4 ,the sight1 smell and taste of good food1 the sight of pleasant objects1 the sound of good music1 etc41 produce a powerful stimulation4 ,love's ,stimulation1 reaching us1 as we shall see in another chapter1 thru all the senses and thru a thousand memories1 is incomparably more powerful than that of any other craving4 ,nutritious food in sufficient quantities is generally synonymous with good health4 ,improper food in insufficient quantities is generally synonymous with bad health4 ,the mental connotation of good and bad food1 however1 is far from being as important as the mental connotation of love or lack of love4 ,there are besides the sexual factors1 such tremendous egotistical factors in the love life 7as will be shown in ,chapter ,,viii17 that love is the most powerful stimulus known and the lack of love or the loss of love the most terrible depressant for the human organism4 ,the ,successful ,lover has a good appetite1 regular heart action1 7hence a healthy complexion72 he enjoys sleep undisturbed by nightmares1 is capable of continued effort 7good thyroid action71 has firm muscles 7regular adrenal section71 is self-reliant1 etc4 ,in other words his organism is working on a hundred-per-cent basis and under the influence of that stimulation he can accomplish tasks which1 under any other circumstances1 would appear too difficult1 and understand things which under the influence of a sluggish thyroid or bowels would have appeared very obscure4 ,people indifferent to physiology might attribute some of love's magic results to inspiration1 to spiritual uplift and other vaguely conceived factors of a romantic and sentimental nature4 ,i am always reminded when encountering such explanations in the literature of love1 of the nuptial flight of the bee4 ,when a male and female bee fall in love1 they both fly to a dizzy height in the direction of the sun and there perform the sexual union4 ,to an unscientific mind of the ,maeterlinckian type1 there might be in that picture a beautiful symbol of love's exaltation4 ,the cold blooded scientist1 on the other hand1 will simply tell us that erotic excitement in the bee produces a large amount of irritating phototropic materials which compel the bees to fly toward the source of light4 ,at the end of the sexual act1 the production of phototropic materials ceases and the bees come back to earth 4444 like lovers tired of each other4 ,in love the conqueror feels like a conqueror and is a hard adversary to defeat4 ,like the amorous bees which can reach1 physically speaking1 heights which they would never dream of exploring when out of love1 the successful lover can rise to infinite heights physically and mentally4 ,the ,unsuccessful ,lover1 on the other hand1 may be1 in extreme cases1 a pitiful individual to contemplate4 ,the humiliation of defeat and the fear of other defeats1 the starvation of all the senses which the love object would have gratified1 produce a depression which stops temporarily all the life activities4 ,appetite is lacking and there may be nausea and vomiting2 diarrhea or constipation replace the normal activities of the intestine1 thereby inducing weakness or autointoxication which1 through a vicious circle1 still increase the depression4 ,the heart action is disturbed1 which increases the uneasiness of the sufferer1 his breathing is difficult1 causing much sighing1 the surface capillaries are emptied of blood1 producing a morbid pallor1 etc4 ,a person in that condition is incapable of continued effort in any direction4 ,the stoppage of all the life functions induces a sense of worthlessness4 ,the fear of defeat not infrequently drives the sufferer to suicide1 which is a symbolic attempt at returning to the safest condition in which the organism ever found itself3 death1 the return to uterine life1 to mother earth1 etc4 ,it may1 if the adrenal cortex1 productive of anger and violence chemicals1 has been sufficiently stimulated by suffering1 provoke attempts at vengeance1 cause hatred1 murderous cravings1 which1 if indulged in1 land the patient in jail1 if repressed with difficulty1 land him in a sanitarium4 ,calf ,love4 ,those things should be borne in mind by parents attempting1 for instance1 to break up some absurd infatuation which is the more overwhelming as the unexperienced lover is not restrained by the many social or financial considerations which hover in the mind of a more sophisticated person in the throes of erotropism4 ,those complications are to be borne in mind too by the psychoanalyst who must not mistake symptoms of physical deterioration due to unsatisfied love cravings with gastric or intestinal derangement due to toxic agents1 and who must bend all his energies to separate what is purely sexual1 from all the parasitic cravings of an egotistical nature which make the patient's sufferings more acute4 ,,chapter ,,vii ,,the ,,senses ,,in ,,love ,friedlander has wisely remarked that there is more sensuality than sexuality in love4 ,which after all means that sex is only a small part of love4 ,it is only after the various senses have reported to the central nervous system the presence of numerous fetishes symbolising peace and safety1 that the sex union is not only possible1 but extremely attractive and creates a durable bond between two human beings4 ,sight is naturally the most important of the senses4 ,like hearing1 it is a long distance sense1 which does not require close proximity like smell1 nor close contact like taste and touch4 ,thru association of memories1 sight becomes the perfect1 all embracing1 descriptive sense1 able to substitute for all the other senses4 ,a glance reveals not only the color1 size and shape of an object1 but its consistency1 firmness or softness1 its state of preservation or deterioration1 its probable odor and taste1 etc4 ,sight perceives the exposed and obvious fetishes and1 thru memory associations1 imagines those which are neither exposed nor obvious4 ,visual sensations are the most powerful experienced by the organism2 a slight injury to the optic nerve produces a greater shock than major injuries to any other nerve of the body4 ,the popularity of the movies is based upon that characteristic4 ,to the unimaginative1 primitive people who relish that childish form of entertainment1 visual sensations replace and suggest almost every other form of sensory gratification4 ,i have shown in ,chapter ,,iii that the large majority of fetishes are visual1 being impressions of color and size1 which were produced on the child's visual nerves thru close proximity with the mother's body4 ,auditory ,sensations which enhance erotic states also hark back very obviously to infancy4 ,the caressing tone of the lovers' voices1 the well modulated words of praise which they speak to each other in a low monotonous sing-song during their embraces1 the baby talk in which so many lovers indulge1 remind one unavoidably of the crooned lullabies with which the loving mother created a state of peace and safety that would enable the nursling to doze off4 ,smell4 ,in animals the sense of smell plays probably a more important part than the sense of sight4 ,in man the olfactory sense has become more negative and protective than positive4 ,it enables him to avoid rather than to locate certain objects4 ,this partial atrophy of the positive olfactory capacities is undoubtedly due to the progress of hygiene and cleanliness in human life4 ,the child whose mother is carefully shampooed and bathed will not consider strong odors emanating from hair or arm pits as a symbol of safety4 ,on the contrary1 they will be something foreign to him1 hence suggestive of danger4 ,in ancient times1 bodily odors were frequently mentioned as love stimulants4 ,the ,homeric poems1 the ,song of ,songs1 the ,kamasutra and other ,hindoo erotic works1 the ,arabian ,perfumed ,garden and even in more recent times1 poems like ,herrick's ,julia's ,sweat1 extolled strong body odors which at the present day not only are deemed offensive but cannot be mentioned except in medical writings4 ,the modern bathroom has exiled olfactory allusions from literature4 ,odors can be1 not only fetishes but very often powerful antifetishes4 ,this is partly due to a repression of the child's interest in his excretions which later burst forth in the use of perfume by women1 smoking by men and women4 ,cigar smoking for instance supplies an outlet for a number of childish polymorphous perversions1 to use ,freud's expression4 ,in this case as in many others1 violent repugnance to odors good or bad in adulthood may be traced to a morbid craving for them in childhood4 ,the ,sense of ,taste is not very important in love1 altho some experienced lovers detect a distinct flavor in the skin of various parts of one woman's skin1 cheeks1 arms1 etc4 ,taste observed in purely nutritional activities reveals constantly its unconscious infantile origin4 ,however completely we may have been weaned1 we constantly pay a tribute of appreciation to our first food4 ,the exaggerated and unjustified importance we attribute to milk in the diet of adults1 the way in which we designate a white complexion as milky or creamy1 and in which we praise many tender foods by stating that they are like cream or melt in our mouth illustrates1 together with the popularity of breast fetishism1 the influence which infantile gustatory impressions have made on all of us4 ,touch is probably as important as sight for physico-chemical reasons4 ,all animals seem to enjoy the close contact of other animals of their own species4 ,even on very warm days1 puppies1 kittens and young birds derive a very great comfort from being huddled together in kennel1 basket or nest4 ,there are two reasons for that craving for contact4 ,the safest period of our life which our automatic nerves remember is the fetal period during which the contact of the child with the womb is constant and in perfect relation to the fetus' growth4 ,also1 contact facilitates the electrical exchanges between human beings1 especially between male and female1 exchanges which owing to the removal of organic inhibitions1 must be singularly powerful between lovers4 ,holding ,hands4 ,whenever conditions separate their bodies1 lovers generally revert to the childish practice of holding hands1 which to the child meant an assurance of safety when led by the strong parents and also facilitated electrical exchanges of distinct value to the young and old alike4 ,the ,kiss4 ,this brings us to the consideration of a love manifestation in which sensations of a tactile1 gustatory and olfactory character are combined3 the kiss4 ,the kiss1 curiously enough1 is found both in certain animal and human races but not in all human races4 ,many mammals1 birds and insects exchange caresses which remind one of the human kiss4 ,love birds seem to spend much of their time kissing each other4 ,on the other hand1 ,eastern races do not seem to relish the caress which ,western peoples call a kiss4 ,in ,china a form of affectionate greeting corresponding to our kiss consists in rubbing one's nose against the cheek of the other person after which a deep breath is taken thru the nose with the eyes half-shut4 ,in some primitive races the equivalent for our kiss me is smell me4 ,in other races1 the kiss is a manifestation of respect rather than a proof of love4 ,anglo ,saxons on certain occasions kiss the ,bible4 ,in the early ,christian and ,arab civilisations1 the kiss was a ritual gesture and has remained so in certain ,catholic customs3 kissing the pope's foot1 relics1 a bishop's ring1 etc4 ,in certain races1 kissing is a proof of affection but not of love4 ,japanese mothers kiss their children but ,japanese lovers do not exchange caresses of the lips1 according to ,lafcadio ,hearn4 ,the dark races of ,africa are ignorant of that caress and so are the ,malays1 the aborigines of ,australia and many other primitive tribes4 ,the ,birth of the ,kiss4 ,it appears that even among the kissing races1 the kiss is a relatively recent development4 ,it is rarely mentioned in ,greek literature4 ,in the ,middle ,ages it was a sign of refinement1 being almost unknown among the lower classes4 ,some analysts have come to the conclusion that the kissing habit is derived from sucking the mother's nipple4 ,if this was the proper explanation1 all the races would naturally indulge in it4 ,the kiss is infinitely more complicated than that4 ,the ,freudian explanation should not be discarded entirely but it does not explain everything4 ,the kiss has grown in importance with the restrictions placed by civilisation on sexual activities4 ,the more primitive the races1 the more promiscuous they are and the less they kiss4 ,the kiss seems to have become among the more repressed and advanced races a displacement upward of the act of possession1 a sublimation of intercourse4 ,it is1 next to sexual union1 the closest contact which the male and female may attain4 ,kisses and ,electricity4 ,if we adopt ,crile's theory according to which the life stream is an electric current produced by the brain and constantly discharging itself1 we may realise concretely the import of the kiss4 ,the physical union is probably the neutralisation of two electric currents1 positive and negative1 altho we do not know as yet what correspondence there is between sexes and opposite electric currents4 ,anyone familiar1 however1 with experiences in galvanotropism1 some of which ,i have mentioned in ,chapter ,,ii1 will when reflecting upon the way in which the spermatozoon directs itself infallibly toward the egg1 conclude that it is headed toward a strong electric current issuing from the woman's womb and ovaries4 ,the kiss is only a milder1 less complete neutralisation of the currents issuing from two human beings4 ,if the kiss on the lips is preferred by lovers1 it is because the moist mucus of the lips is a better conductor of electrical current than the skin4 ,in very passionate kisses1 the lovers' tongues play a double part1 a symbolic part1 representing the mother's nipple1 and a physico-chemical part1 securing a closer connection1 like plug and socket in electric appliances4 ,in ,anglo-,saxon fiction which does not countenance descriptions of lovers' embraces1 a very passionate kiss is always symbolical of complete surrender4 ,physiologically this symbolism is quite accurate4 ,the temporary exhaustion which follows a protracted kiss is often equal to that following a lovers' embrace and this can be easily understood when we remember the protracted electrical discharge which must follow the contact of the conductive surfaces of the mucus of the lips4 ,,chapter ,,viii ,,ego ,,and ,,sex ,if the course of love was regulated solely by sexual factors its study would be a comparatively simple matter4 ,sexual cravings find themselves1 however1 in conflict with many other manifestations of the life force4 ,for the sexual libido is not the life force as certain psychoanalysts believe4 ,it is only one of the manifestations of the electric stream produced in the brain and seeking an outlet4 ,in fact1 sex is only a temporary manifestation of the life force1 late to appear1 early to disappear4 ,embryonic life begins several months before sex becomes observable in the fetus4 ,actual extrauterine life is in full swing before sex is ripe1 that is1 capable of fulfilling its biological destiny4 ,life continues sometimes many years after sex has ceased to serve its reproductive purpose4 ,the most powerful urge to which sex has to adapt itself in the life of the human animal is the ego urge1 the craving for food and power1 the selfish urge par excellence4 ,at times1 sex and ego work in perfect accord as they should1 considering the close relationship of the nervous divisions carrying power to them4 ,neurotic ,complications1 however1 due to the necessary repressions of modern civilisation1 throw them too often into conflict4 ,we might say that there is a natural source of conflict between them1 for the ego urge is selfish1 aiming as it does at the conservation of the individual and its personal upbuilding1 while the sex urge1 whose aim is to assure the continuance of the species1 is altruistic4 ,by altruistic ,i mean that one human being must1 before finding the complete gratification of his sex urge1 join his body to that of another human being of the opposite sex1 whose sex urge he helps gratify1 the result of that cooperation being the creation of a third human being4 ,from this we may see clearly how the neurotic temperament1 unusually self-centered1 is likely to exacerbate whatever conflicts may exist between ego and sex4 ,even in the so called normal human being1 that is1 the human being who in spite of life's repressions1 manages to live at peace with his environment and himself1 the will-to-power1 the desire for possession and domination expresses itself constantly in what is generally considered as typically sexual manifestations of love4 ,do not lovers say that they possess each other4 ,was not the ,biblical ,god power before he became creation8 ,in the beginning there was the ,word1 that is the expression1 the utterance of the divine ego4 ,does not the unmated ,god of the ,western nations symbolise the absolute supremacy of power over sex8 ,and when people pray to ,god1 what do they ask for1 in the majority of cases1 if not power 7help78 ,self-,love4 ,yet we often consider the craving for power as a form of love1 self-love4 ,when ,jesus said ,love thy neighbor as thyself he testified to the fact that our self-love is the most powerful human feeling and he presented it as a goal which our love for others might reach4 ,he admitted that we all love ourselves first and he was too world-wise to advise men1 as some of his followers have done1 to repress their self-love4 ,he only advised men to try and love others as much as they loved themselves4 ,all the great conflicts between nations have been precipitated by ego rather than by love4 ,love and sex were responsible1 we are told for the most famous war in history and legend1 the ,trojan war4 ,i am quite sceptical about it in spite of the evidence presented by a poet who probably never existed as an individual1 ,homer4 ,i know1 however1 that the most atrocious war ever fought1 the world war1 was unchained1 not by sexual jealousy1 but by the most sordid1 the grossest form of predatory ego cravings1 the will-to-commercial-power4 ,in innumerable cases1 ego overpowers sex and compels it to suit its purposes4 ,it masquerades in the guise of sex and deceives many as to its true nature4 ,prostitution1 in its last analysis1 is the enslavement of sex by ego1 sex working to feed the ego and supply it with necessities or luxuries4 ,ego in ,sex ,guise4 ,certain customs of ages past are sexual in appearance but the egotistical motive back of them is easily discovered4 ,take the right of the first night1 which in several parts of the world survived until modern times4 ,the tribal chief or the lord of the manor had the right to spend a night with every bride within his jurisdiction before the rightful husband was allowed to enjoy his marital privileges4 ,that custom made the first born of every family the putative descendent of the chief and fostered a deeper loyalty to him among his followers4 ,even as economic exhibitionism prompts people to spend at show eating places sums in no way commensurate with their hunger1 or to buy diamonds which are not in any way beautiful but only symbolical of the wearer's indifference to returns on his investments1 egotism causes many men to pretend sexual cravings which they do not feel4 ,many stage women1 actresses1 singers1 dancers1 etc41 are kept by men whose sex life is at low ebb but who parade their conquest before their associates or perfect strangers to demonstrate their sexual and financial powers4 ,fatherhood4 ,a constant craving for fatherhood is not infrequently a neurotic symptom1 an egotistical desire to compensate for low sexual potency4 ,physicians and druggists dispensing aphrodisiacs can testify to the prevalence of large families in the homes of almost impotent men4 ,the man who can fulfill his sexual duties once a year for fifteen years and foils his mate's attempts at contraception1 is quite able to raise a very large family and to pass among his associates for a very virile man4 ,the sight of his numerous progeny silences any scepticism as to his sexual vitality4 ,some of the most astonishing vagaries in the choice of a mate are traceable to purely egotistical cravings4 ,neurotic women married to a superior man may refuse to express any sexual joy in his arms4 ,they remain frigid in his company and then give themselves to some rather inferior individual to whom they feel superior and in whose arms they show the most complete abandon4 ,the medical and lay press very often relates cases of fine looking and apparently normal women who marry idiots or morons4 ,their sense of inferiority and their fear of ego-defeat makes them seek inferior mates unlikely to dominate them in any respect4 ,some young women conceal their morbid desire to mate with a degenerate under a philanthropic mask4 ,they pretend1 when marrying a drunkard or a thief1 that their aim is to regenerate him4 ,and so do some young men with an inferiority complex explain to their family and friends that they have married a menial or a prostitute to reclaim her4 ,war ,prisoners4 ,german newspapers mentioned several times during the war that war prisoners were treated too cordially by the women1 many of whom had affairs with the defeated enemies4 ,in several cities1 it became necessary for the military authorities to issue proclamations on the subject1 berating the offenders for their shameless behavior4 ,the same facts were observed in ,france and in ,italy altho they were given less prominence in the ,american newspapers4 ,why was it that those women idolised men they were supposed to hate as enemies and accorded sexual favors to them8 ,why was it that they did not enjoy more completely the victory of the males of their race and jeer at the defeated foes8 ,those women were neurotics who1 unable to enjoy the embraces of victorious1 superior males1 felt themselves superior in the arms of defeated and humiliated men4 ,neurotic ,motherliness4 ,a patient of mine who had always shown herself rebellious in her attitude to her sexually potent lover1 became all tenderness and submissiveness one day when sickness almost cut off his potency4 ,i never loved him as much as ,i did yesterday1 she told me1 for ,i felt then that ,i could really mother him4 ,which translated into honest parlance meant1 to use ,adler's vocabulary1 that on that occasion he was below and she was above4 ,when ,ego and ,sex do not ,conflict1 a combination of the two gives results which stamp human love as distinctly superior to animal sexuality4 ,just as higher egotism has created cooperation1 which eliminates individual fights and establishes in their place group fighting1 healthy egotism added to sex has introduced cooperation and altruism into love4 ,the egotistical desire to please and dominate the female thru vigorous caresses has thrown into the shade the primitive cavemanlike ways4 ,man no longer strikes the female unconscious in order to satisfy his sex cravings on her prostrate body4 ,his aim is rather to satisfy his mate first4 ,this of course carries sexuality far away from its primal aims4 ,love's byplays1 in many cases1 replace love's specific functions1 the road from sensuality to sterility being a short one4 ,when the goal of sterility is attained1 we see sex willingly relinquishing its biological aims to egotism4 ,in the plays of sex and ego as in the conflicts between the two urges1 ego is more frequently victorious than sex4 ,,chapter ,,ix ,,hatred ,,and ,,love ,hatred and love seem diametrically opposed feelings4 ,yet there are many cases when love masquerades as hatred and hatred as love4 ,altho such hatred and such love are not genuine they may drive us at times into acts of cruelty or self-sacrifice which to all appearances seem to emanate from perfect love or from savage hatred4 ,very exaggerated feelings should always be viewed suspiciously as blinds for the opposite feelings4 ,an extravagant display of affection is generally a desperate attempt on the person indulging in that display at repressing loathing and hatred4 ,on the other hand1 morbid hostility toward one person is generally an attempt at repressing a love which would be unjustifiable or detrimental for the personality4 ,a few illustrations from life will make my meaning clear4 ,a ,worried ,wife4 ,one woman ,i analysed was thrown into hysterical anxiety whenever her husband reached home a little late4 ,she pictured him dead1 dismembered by a train or knocked down by robbers4 ,when she first called on me1 she stressed the struggle going on in her heart4 ,she loved two men and her nobility of soul1 her delicacy of feelings1 and many other qualities she bestowed on herself very liberally1 were making that double life unbearable for her4 ,i have wronged my dear1 dear1 hubby1 she kept repeating4 ,and he is so good1 so kind1 so considerate4 ,the wife who never tires of singing her husband's praise is always somebody else's mistress4 ,it is generally her way of settling accounts with her conscience4 ,in this case1 the anxiety she felt over her husband's whereabouts and health when he was late in reaching home1 supplied the expiation which neurotics seem to crave for their misdeeds4 ,but there was more in that anxiety than one of the manifestations of her sense of sin4 ,i asked her whether she had ever experienced the same anxiety when her lover was late in coming to their trysting place4 ,no1 she said1 and this is what leads me to think that ,i don't love him nearly as much as ,i do my husband4 ,her reaction to her lover's lateness was simply one of anger4 ,she felt herself slighted and she suspected him of stopping somewhere to flirt with some woman4 ,even once1 when a wreck on a suburban line leading to his home town1 had prevented him from meeting her1 she never imagined him the victim of any accident4 ,further questioning elicited the information that death wishes had crossed her mind on several occasions in relation to her husband4 ,she finally came to see that those repressed wishes were simply finding an outlet in her wish fulfilment fears4 ,she was constantly visualizing the tragedy which would have given her her freedom4 ,the ,test of ,love4 ,in other words1 her unconscious wished her husband dead4 ,the repression of that wish compelled it to masquerade as a hysterical concern for his health4 ,the thought of her lover1 however1 never suggested to her any death scenes4 ,during the war a woman patient who had two sons at the front1 was tortured every night by a nightmare in which she saw her older son killed in action4 ,she very naturally interpreted those dreams to herself as convincing evidence of her greater fondness for that boy than for his brother4 ,in the course of our conversations1 however1 she gradually admitted that her elder son was a gambler and drunkard and had found himself in many an unpleasant complication4 ,she had thought several times1 altho she had at once repressed the thought1 that death would be preferable to his life of embarrassment and degradation4 ,those repressed death wishes found an outlet in nightmares accompanied by a great display of emotion consciously felt as love and grief4 ,parents who continually warn their children against accidents likely to happen to them1 who grow panicky when some street commotion takes place and imagine that their child has been hurt or killed1 are not quite as loving as they imagine4 ,in such unjustified fears1 as in death dreams1 there lurks an ill concealed desire to be freed from the thraldom of parenthood and to regain the selfish happiness of the childless state4 ,a young woman fainted several times when she heard shouts on the street where her young child had been taken by the maid4 ,she knew something must have happened to her boy4 ,her dreams would with alarming frequency picture accidents befalling the child4 ,after ,i made her realise the way in which her child had interfered with her social activities1 with her attending dances1 theatrical performances1 etc41 a change became noticeable in her dreams4 ,instead of visualising her child dead she saw him in her day and night dreams as an adolescent1 no longer in her way1 no longer a handicap to her in her pursuit of pleasure4 ,her panics disappeared about the same time4 ,more elusive at times are cases of hatred which analysis reduces to a struggle of the personality against an inacceptable love4 ,sour ,grapes4 ,a man1 unduly attracted to a woman who socially1 intellectually or financially1 is or should remain outside of his reach1 and would probably make an impossible mate1 is likely to manifest violent hostility to her1 to disparage her or even slander her4 ,every analyst has seen in his office the middle aged woman who breaks down soon after her daughter's marriage to a man whom she despises4 ,either a family scene or a campaign of nagging and disparagement has caused a break between her and her daughter and son-in-law4 ,analysis reveals that she is love with her son-in-law1 a situation more frequent than the layman imagines4 ,this infatuation which she cannot accept as a fact is repressed savagely4 ,to protect herself against overt acts which would make her sinful or ridiculous1 she exaggerates every defect of the man she loves4 ,she pursues him with a stubbornness which cannot deceive a psychologist4 ,his name is constantly on her lips1 coupled1 of course1 with abusive remarks1 but the fact remains that she is constantly speaking1 if not dreaming of him4 ,her peace of mind is only restored to her when she accepts as a fact a situation which need not be translated into a transgression of the ethical laws4 ,for1 in spite of what puritanical critics of psychoanalysis repeat1 a conscious sex craving is more easily controlled and less likely to overthrow our willpower than an unconscious one4 ,brothers and ,sisters4 ,a similar complication is frequently found1 as ,i stated in ,chapter ,v1 in the history of neurotic brothers and sisters4 ,a brother and sister may to all appearance be irreconcilable enemies4 ,investigate their childhood and you will find memories of actual or attempted incestuous indiscretions which1 after a while1 were repressed either by punishment or voluntary restraint4 ,in later years1 fear of a possible recurrence of tabooed incidents may express itself in the shape of hatred leading at times to acute family conflicts1 the brother or sister running away1 the sister becoming a prostitute1 etc4 ,when hatred is unmasked and revealed as one of the avatars of inacceptable love1 it dies off and is replaced by protective measures of a less objectionable nature1 reserve or distance4 ,a ,negro ,hater4 ,a hysterical patient of mine who had always been a terrific negro hater and advocate of lynching1 was disturbed at night by symbolic sexual dreams in which negroes took an active part4 ,she could not help feeling uneasy in the presence of a colored man4 ,those beasts was her favorite designation for colored people4 ,what drove her into my office was that on one occasion she had behaved in a1 to her1 inconceivable way to a colored janitor's helper who had come to her apartment to inspect the radiator4 ,the presence of that man had aroused her so powerfully that for a few minutes she had been on the point of making advances to him4 ,she fortunately came to her senses and fled from what had always been to her an unconscious temptation4 ,such incidents as that make one wonder how many lynchings have been precipitated by the hysterical actions of neurotic women4 ,it may be stated broadly that every exaggerated attempt at protecting ourselves against a danger or a temptation is a confession on our part that the danger or the temptation is very fascinating to us4 ,reformers4 ,many bold reformers are merely very weak individuals struggling against sexual temptation and hating some vice which holds them in its power4 ,the biography of ,anthony ,comstock which ,i have reviewed in detail in ,psychoanalysis and ,behavior proves that the obscenity he was so stubbornly ferreting held a strange fascination for him4 ,i must not create the absurd impression1 however1 that all reformers are abnormal and moved by neurotic impulses4 ,but between the scientist who warns people of venereal disease and combats it whenever possible and the so called syphilophobiac who sees everywhere chances for infection and would jail every prostitute1 there is a great difference4 ,the ,syphilophobiac is always a weak1 oversexed individual1 whose only protection against his promiscuous cravings is the fear of disease and the absurd assumption that every woman is infected4 ,the syphilophobiac hates prostitutes because he would love them too well but for the protection he erects between their body and his desire4 ,the feverish energy displayed by many prohibition enthusiasts is at bottom the hurrying away from a temptation to which they know they would have to yield4 ,the great prohibitionists crave alcohol and could not1 without a terrible struggle1 protect themselves against the lure of drunkenness if strong beverages were available4 ,the stage has pictured many times the crusty old bachelor who is a ferocious woman hater4 ,in the end he succumbs to the wiles of the ingnue1 who is generally the first woman he ever associated with4 ,the poor devil realised too well all his life the irresistible charm of women as well as his overwhelming craving for love and the joys of the flesh4 ,some neurotic incest fear1 or craving for selfish pleasures1 or money complex1 however1 caused him to avoid women and to protect himself against them by a display of hostility4 ,the first time1 however1 when fate forces him into close contact with temptation he has to yield4 ,deluded ,martyrs4 ,in every social upheaval there are martyrs who sacrifice themselves for apparently very noble causes but whose unconscious reasons for their acts are much less sublime4 ,stupid bomb throwers who wreck a building or kill an individual1 7acts most unlikely to change a social system to which they object71 profess to be moved by their love for the people4 ,their actual motive is father hatred4 ,brutus and others who delivered the people from some tyrant1 in reality gratified an unconscious grudge and sought their own liberation from some form of authority made loathsome by infantile complexes4 ,the most grotesque example of it was the destruction of the ,bastille on ,july #ad1 #aghi by a ,french mob which imagined that it was thereby freeing crowds of innocent prisoners and abolishing arbitrary death sentences4 ,there were less than a dozen people in the fortress at that time4 ,the mob venting its wrath on a symbol of authority pretended to be animated by a love of freedom and a desire to benefit others4 ,,chapter ,x ,,plural ,,love ,,and ,,infidelity ,lecture audiences often ask me whether plural love is possible4 ,this would indicate on the part of the questioner a more or less unconscious wish to justify polygamous cravings4 ,plural marriages exist but ,i doubt whether any such thing as plural love has even been observed at any period of mankind's history4 ,for the most complicated examples of plural marriage1 as for all the varieties of sexual complications1 we must turn to ,greece of the classical period4 ,demosthenes wrote somewhere3 ,we have prostitutes to give us pleasure1 concubines to minister to our daily needs and wives to bear us children and to watch over our homes4 ,when we remember that besides the three types of women with whom they had sexual relations1 many and among them some of the greatest men of those times1 indulged in homosexual unions with young men of feminine appearance1 we must draw two conclusions3 first1 that those men must have been sexual supermen1 as they were at times mental supermen1 second1 that love as we understand it at the present day1 can only have had very little to do with their sexual life4 ,modern love as we shall see in ,chapter ,,xxxi means mutual love1 the equal gratification of the mates thru the rites of sex communion4 ,plural ,love1 be it of the ancient ,greek type1 of the ,oriental or mormon type1 means varietism for the male1 scanty gratification for the female4 ,at best a mild form of sexual slavery1 most humiliating to the woman and possible only under a social system debarring woman from financial independence4 ,only a man suffering from priapism could gratify the eroticism of a large number of wives and the latest or youngest wife would naturally receive a larger share of physical attention than the earlier and older mates4 ,the jealousy and hatred thus engendered are in no way minimised by the fact that the custom of certain lands countenances such arrangements4 ,polyandry as it existed in ancient times and still exsists in ,tibet1 where a woman marries several men 7generally brothers7 may be more satisfactory for the primitive female4 ,owing to her physiological make up1 and also to her passive rle in love1 woman can gratify several men and receive gratification from them4 ,the neurotic disturbances which may arise as a result of a woman's lack of sexual gratification are avoided by the polyandric scheme of union4 ,but this is the only superiority which polyandry has over polygamy4 ,both polygamous and polyandric nations and civilisations have gradually receded as far as numerical importance and world prestige go and both institutions are bound to disappear4 ,the development of the human ego1 both in men and women1 will not permit much longer of the enslavement of one sex to gratify the pleasures of the other4 ,nor can any group1 male or female1 enforce its domination over individuals of the opposite sex and make them accept the dogma of an inferior sex by embodying that dogma in any religious creed of the mormon or mohammedan type4 ,infidelity4 ,plural love is passing but infidelity has taken its place in every possible respect as a sexual and an egotistical form of gratification4 ,when dealing with infidelity we must establish a careful distinction between forms of infidelity due to normal causes and other forms due to unconscious complexes4 ,on the other hand we should beware of admitting1 as many unscientific writers do1 that there is a distinct difference of attitude to infidelity in the two sexes4 ,that shortsighted viewpoint has been unfortunately voiced in hundreds of popular sayings which represent man as the great examplary of infidelity and woman as faithfulness incarnate4 ,economic conditions1 not sexual differences1 are at the bottom of the levity with which men treat their heart affairs and of the gravity with which women1 officially at least1 consider the marriage relationship4 ,financial dependence and the fear of motherhood compel the domesticated1 parasitic type of woman to secure the services of a breadwinner1 and after achieving that object1 to avoid hurting his susceptibilities4 ,independent and professional women1 especially the sterile or sterilised ones1 are frankly masculine in their love habits4 ,but ,i insist on considering certain forms of infidelity as normal and others as abnormal1 independently from the question as to whether they are socially desirable or undesirable4 ,the human type which is so perfectly normal that it has no fixation and no definite fetishes1 except species fetishes1 and which weaklings and puritans designate as animal1 is not likely to be faithful to any mate4 ,like every strong and healthy animal at rutting time1 he or she is sexually aroused by every individual of the opposite sex4 ,no safety complex restrains him as far as sexuality is concerned4 ,the only fears which restrain his search for gratification are fear of exposure and ostracism within his herd1 fear of pregnancy or infection and fear of final complications1 not to mention of course the fear of inflicting suffering upon a lifemate of whom he may be extremely fond4 ,for we must never forget the fact1 unpleasant as it may appear to unscientific hypocrites1 that lasting love is a matter of fixation and fetishism1 hence1 always slightly tainted with neurosis4 ,when ,love ,dies4 ,normal infidelity may also be merely the only hope of sexual gratification for the normal man or woman whose mate has ceased to present the fetishes needed to awaken his or her eroticism4 ,healthy individuals are neither willing nor capable to forego sexual gratification4 ,now and then complications arise1 a man being very fond1 for sexual reasons1 of a woman who would prove undesirable as his mate and1 for sentimental reasons1 of a woman who is infinitely congenial but no longer arouses his desire4 ,likewise1 a woman may be deeply attached to both her lover and her husband4 ,ivan ,bloch writes3 ,it is quite possible to love more than one person at the same time with nearly equal tenderness and be honestly able to assure each of the passion felt for him or her4 ,the vast psychic differentiation involved by modern civilization increases the possibility of this double love for it is difficult to find one's complement in a single person and this applies to women as well as to men4 ,george ,hirth1 in his ,wege zur ,heimat also points out that women1 as well as men1 can love two persons at the same time4 ,men flatter themselves with the prejudice that the female heart1 or rather brain1 can only hold one man at a time and that if there is a second man1 it is by a kind of prostitution4 ,nearly all the erotic writers1 poets and novelists1 even physicians and psychologists1 belong to this class4 ,they look upon a woman as property and of course two men cannot possess one woman4 ,regarding novelists1 however1 remarks ,havelock ,ellis1 the remark may be interpolated that there are many exceptions4 ,thomas ,hardy1 for instance1 frequently represents a woman as more or less in love with two men at the same time4 ,hirth maintains that a woman is not necessarily obliged to be untrue to one man because she has conceived a passion for another man4 ,today1 ,hirth writes1 truly love and justice can count as honorable motives in marriage4 ,the modern man accords to the beloved wife and life companion the same freedom he himself took before marriage1 and perhaps still1 takes in marriage4 ,if she makes no use of it1 as is to be hoped1 so much the better4 ,but let there be no lies1 no deception1 the indispensable foundation of modern marriage is boundless sincerity and friendship1 the deepest trust1 affectionate devotion and consideration4 ,that is the best safeguard against adultery4 ,let him1 however1 who is1 nevertheless1 overtaken by the outbreak of it1 console himself with the undoubted fact that of two real lovers1 the most noble minded and deep seeing friend will always have the preference4 ,even under an economic system countenancing free love and birth control1 such complications would surely arise and cause much suffering4 ,bored ,wives4 ,infidelity is often also a refuge from boredom for the middle class woman who has no definite training or ability in any direction and is thereby condemned to idleness4 ,left alone all day and a few evenings every month by a busy husband1 she yearns for companionship4 ,unless she is slightly homosexual1 she soon tires of stupid teas1 bridge and gossip parties and she accepts the attentions of some man who brings into her life a little romance and a different aspect of the world's activities4 ,the ,french cynic ,willy had that type in mind when he wrote3 adultery has become the key stone of society4 ,by making married life tolerable it prevents the breaking up of the home4 ,besides normal sexual cravings1 there are many unconscious or only partly conscious causes which drive human beings into being faithless to their life mates4 ,many women take lovers1 many men take mistresses for purely egotistical reasons4 ,justly or unjustly they feel a certain lack of appreciation in their mates and make up their minds to get even with them4 ,getting ,even is one of the great neurotic cravings1 one which has led to numberless offences1 including crime and suicide4 ,to some neurotics with a sense of inferiority1 an extramatrimonial affair seems to be the sole means of restoring one's self confidence4 ,i am of no account at home but to some one else ,i mean the world4 ,many neurotics use romance and inspiration as convenient scapegoats4 ,but for the inspiration ,i derive from my affair with ,so and ,so1 ,i could not do my work properly1 and this is true in a good many cases1 but in many more cases1 any one else would do just as well as a lover or mistress4 ,some neurotics1 who remind one of ,madame ,bovary1 the heroine of ,flaubert's great novel1 feel that accomplishment and the fullness of life are naturally associated with sexual irregularities4 ,too inferior to accomplish anything by dint of hard work1 ,emma ,bovary childishly expected love to accomplish everything for her4 ,other neurotics1 incapable of any creative work1 consider romance as an achievement in itself and proceed to call every carnal dissipation romance4 ,just as inferior boys at the gang age steal or destroy in an absurd attempt at doing something out of the ordinary4 ,some neurotics never feel safe very long with any sexual mate2 they grow afraid or suspicious and seek safety in the arms of some other human being in whom they unconsciously hope to find the father or mother image to which they were over-attached4 ,their search for the safe mate1 that is1 for the parent image1 is1 of course1 always unsuccessful4 ,varietists4 ,i have observed a number of men and women who liked to designate themselves as varietists and who were simply unconscious or partly conscious homosexuals struggling against perverse tendencies to which they did not wish to yield4 ,i have seen in my office several ,don ,juans who were unconsciously attracted to men and refused for a long while to admit that such a craving was a part of their personality4 ,every woman they met only meant one thing to them3 ,if ,i could capture her1 ,i would feel sure that ,i was a real man4 ,a few days after catching their prey they were once more obsessed by doubts and had to seek new evidence4 ,many partly conscious homosexuals seek women who in their appearance1 manner of dress and behavior are the best substitutes for men1 that is1 mannish girls1 flat chested1 with narrow hips1 bobbed hair1 wearing tailor-made garments1 engaged in masculine pursuits1 etc4 ,they often meet with disappointment for such women are frequently homosexual and hence unlikely to yield to a man4 ,when the woman is sexually normal1 however1 the neurotic's happiness is far from assured4 ,as soon as sentimentalism or tenderness allows the feminine component of those masculine women to break thru their masculinity1 the unconscious homosexual loses his love for them4 ,one patient of mine did his hunting among equestriennes in ,central ,park4 ,on two occasions his attentions were accepted4 ,his disappointment was terrible2 calling upon the women who had attracted him when wearing a mannish derby and riding breeches1 he was greeted by very womanly persons attired in the most feminine finery4 ,several times in his life my patient has been in love with rather masculine women4 ,the first flash of femininity in them had always cured him entirely of his infatuation4 ,the ,ultrafeminine4 ,other homosexuals struggling savagely against the appeal of the masculine1 seek safety in the arms of extremely feminine creatures who could not in any way awaken the slightest suggestion of a perversion4 ,their obsessive fear1 however1 does not allow them to enjoy the affair very long4 ,small physical details which a normal man would not notice suddenly fill them with fear or disgust4 ,a masculine gesture1 a raucous intonation1 a slight growth of hair on the upper lip or the limbs may suggest unavoidably the sex from which they are fleeing in panic4 ,their love cools off and safety has to be sought1 altho it is never found1 in the arms of some other woman of very feminine appearance1 who is in turn discarded for the same absurd reasons4 ,as fixations and fetishism have infinitely more importance for men than for women 7see ,chapter ,,iii7 the male neurotic is naturally more promiscuous and faithless than the female neurotic4 ,messalina4 ,every psychoanalyst1 however1 has met the ,messalina type1 who is constantly seeking the love that will endure4 ,like her masculine counterpart1 the ,don ,juan1 she is in the majority of cases seeking safety and trying1 by conquering many men1 to reestablish her self-confidence which every little disappointment and humiliation destroys so easily4 ,however loving and worshipful the neurotic's mate may be1 he or she cannot hope to save the neurotic from further love entanglements4 ,one of the most striking neurotic traits is a craving to disparage everything and everybody in his environment4 ,the praise of the most affectionate husband or lover1 wife or mistress1 is insufficient to raise the neurotic's self-esteem4 ,with all neurotics1 familiarity breeds contempt and it must be from the lips of a new man or new woman that they must hear their praise sung before their feeling of inferiority is deadened and allows them to enjoy that praise4 ,,chapter ,,xi ,,is ,,free ,,love ,,possible8 ,american ,medicine commenting upon the fact that divorces have increased twenty per cent in eight years and that1 if the rate of increase continues1 there will be as many divorces as marriages in thirty years from now1 reaches the conclusion that the individual has moved on far in the past two thousand years1 while the institution of marriage has remained unaltered through the centuries4444 ,the basis of marriage as it was originally conceived was entirely a racial one in which the individual counted for little2 it was meant as a means of building a family and conserving it4 ,nothing else counted and the primitive individual exacted little else4444 ,the modern man and woman demands in his mate more than that and it is here that the marriage institution is most defective in that it does not yield to these greater demands4 ,polygamy and polyandry have been found wanting and have been abandoned4 ,monogamy is1 at the present day1 tempered by frequent infidelity and numerous divorces4 ,which means that it does not satisfy the needs of the human race4 ,shall free love offer a solution8 ,man the ,dissatisfied4 ,i might as well voice here my pessimistic belief that there is no permanent solution for any human problems4 ,the only tangible difference between man and the animals is that the animals are satisfied and man everlastingly dissatisfied4 ,no cat was ever dissatisfied enough with the primitive feline way of catching mice to invent a mouse trap4 ,the animals solved their problems thousands of years ago4 ,unless domesticated and exposed to the exclusive influence of men1 they never vary from the form of behavior of their particular species4 ,the only problem they have been unable to solve is how to get rid of man1 the invader and parasite1 and they will never cope with it4 ,man's satisfaction with every new improvement is only temporary4 ,the ,next ,step4 ,free love may be the next step in the evolution of the sexual partnership but it certainly will not be the solution of the marriage problem4 ,as far as the mates themselves are concerned1 free love will only be a success in the case of extremely normal individuals for whom the sexual relationship means solely physical gratification4 ,as soon as affection intervenes in those unions1 the thousand forms of jealousy we shall describe in another chapter will enter into play4 ,jealousy among free lovers cannot but rage more fiercely than among the legally married4 ,a thousand details of married life are simply meant to establish the mates' ownership of each other in their own eyes and in the eyes of the world4 ,the number of war marriages contracted hastily during the great ,european conflict by young men and women on the eve of the bridegroom's departure for ,europe testifies to the powerful safety symbolism of the marriage ceremony4 ,a gullible young man in love with a girl would not have trusted her alone during his absence from home4 ,she might have experienced a change of heart4 ,after going thru a wedding ceremony with him1 however1 he knew that she could not change her mind and love another4 ,as a matter of fact most of those unions were disastrous4 ,a virgin might have waited4 ,a young woman left alone after a few days of erotic enjoyment was naturally an easy prey for any clever tempter4 ,the bridegroom1 on the other hand1 went away blissfully1 secure in the thought that the marriage certificate1 the ceremony1 the wedding ring1 the transformation of ,mary ,brown into ,mrs4 ,john ,smith would protect his honor while he was away4 ,blissful ,blindness4 ,some of the cleverest1 most cynically suspicious husbands and wives go thru life blissfully blind to their mate's sidesteps4 ,they see thru anyone else's husband or wife but they seldom suspect their husband or their wife4 ,the stress which they place on the possessive works in their case as the fetish which a savage takes into battle4 ,in hoc signo vinces4 ,it is only in the so called smart set that men and women allude to their mates by their first names4 ,the working classes1 sexually the most conservative and puritanical1 use the expressions my man or the missus2 middle class men and women pompously refer to their mates as ,mr4 ,smith or ,mrs4 ,smith1 always reminding their hearers of the legitimacy of their union4 ,the celebration of wooden weddings1 silver weddings1 etc41 is a means of reminding the community that ,mr4 and ,mrs4 ,john ,smith own each other1 just as the engagement diamond is a scarecrow proportionate in visibility to the prospective bridegroom's fortune4 ,even if free love unions became the adopted standard of the land1 those unions would be celebrated with appropriate ritual1 the aim of which would be to tie the man to the woman and the woman to the man and to warn away sexual hunters of both sexes4 ,free love will not be possible until the absolute equality of men and women has been accepted1 not only theoretically but practically4 ,before that equality is a fact1 there must be written into the statute books some form of financial assistance to the woman disabled by pregnancy and lactation and which will enable her to retain her independence regardless of her physiological condition4 ,even this will not be enough4 ,birth control measures will have to become lawful and the subject of careful scientific teaching before woman can hope to lead her life unenslaved to her children's father4 ,what of the ,child8 ,besides1 in free love arrangements1 the mates are not the only parties to be considered4 ,there is a party of the third part3 the children1 if any4 ,if a perfectly independent male decides to cohabit for an indefinite period of time with a perfectly independent female1 the community can hardly interpose any objection4 ,for after all1 most of our ethical indignation at the thought of temporary unions is due to the miserly fear of the community lest a pregnant woman and fatherless children be thrown upon it for support4 ,no one's rights would be trespassed upon by such arrangements1 ephemeral as they might be4 ,as they would not cost anyone any money they would be considered acceptable4 ,when a self supporting ,sarah ,bernhardt or ,isadora ,duncan bears children out of wedlock and we run no risk of being taxed for the support of her illegitimate progeny1 we assume more liberal views than we would should a stenographer or a switchboard operator commit the same errors4 ,when children are the outcome of any form of union1 however1 the psychoanalyst1 broad as he may be1 is compelled to remember the pitiful stories he has heard in his office4 ,no neurotic ever had a pleasant childhood4 ,no neurotic was the child of a father and mother united by real love and manifesting within the family circle the mutual tenderness which is the poetry or the music of the home4 ,disharmony ,between the ,parents1 culminating in divorce or desertion1 has wrecked the future of thousands of children4 ,not every unhappy home has produced neurotics1 but1 every neurotic is the product of undesirable home conditions4 ,furthermore1 it seems as tho a child in order to reach normal adulthood should be brought up by both a male and female4 ,many male homosexuals ,i have observed were brought up by a widowed mother or a woman abandoned by her husband or lover4 ,in other cases1 impotence or frigidity affected respectively boys and girls who had lost the parent of the same sex4 ,many other disturbances of the mental life1 due to incompleteness of the parental environment or to its imperfection1 could be mentioned if the limits of this book would permit4 ,from the point of view of psychiatry1 there is only one answer to be given to the question if free love is acceptable4 ,free love must be supplemented by birth control4 ,those free lovers who decide to procreate children must also agree to live together until the youngest of their offspring has reached at least its fifteenth year4 ,creating children with the intention of turning them over to some charitable institution is also a proposition which to a student of mental disturbances appears just short of criminal4 ,the ,institution ,child4 ,few children thrive well mentally or physically under institutional treatment4 ,children need love in order to grow strong mentally or physically4 ,i read somewhere a story to the effect that a mediaeval ruler directed that some children be brought up by nurses who would never show them the slightest sign of affection or interest1 his aim being1 if my memory serves me well1 to make extremely virile fighters out of those children1 by protecting them against any weakening influence4 ,as the story goes1 all the children died4 ,i do not vouch for the authenticity of the story but the vital statistics of orphan asylums affirm its plausibility4 ,children fare better in a poor1 unsanitary home1 at the hands of a stupid and ignorant but affectionate mother than in an up to date1 well appointed1 sanitary asylum4 ,they need1 in order to develop a strong1 serviceable1 well balanced autonomic nervous system1 the safety which emanates from the breasts1 the kisses1 the hands1 the admiring glances of their mother4 ,if no doting mother has ever told a child that he is wonderful and the most precious thing on earth1 he will never quite consider himself as of much avail and will probably never become wonderful in any respect4 ,free ,love ,plus ,birth ,control may reduce the actual population of the earth1 but when only real lovers deeply attached to each other and only bound to each other by sexual desire and intellectual regard1 will live together and decide to rear children as a monument to their love1 free love and birth control will cause the population of insane asylums to dwindle to nothing and will save the world from the thousands of morons and neurotics who are the products of married disharmony and married slavery4 ,,chapter ,,xii ,,prostitution ,prostitution1 as ,i stated in a previous chapter is one of the results of the overthrowing of sex by the ego4 ,the craving for food and power triumphs over all the sexual cravings and compels one individual to pursue apparently sexual goals which are no longer sexual as far as that individual is concerned4 ,the female prostitute lends her sexual organs to many men for money 7food1 power71 not for her own gratification or to reproduce her species4 ,that phenomenon is very complex and cannot be dealt with in detail within the limits of this book4 ,i shall confine myself to pointing out some of the psychological problems which have to be elucidated before the causes1 nature and results of prostitution can be clearly understood4 ,economic ,factors4 ,certain radicals simplify a little too much the problem of prostitution by considering it solely as a by-product of the competitive system which would disappear as soon as a more equitable system of production and distribution was introduced into the modern world4 ,no one can deny that under our social system1 woman1 burdened as she is1 by many physical and social handicaps1 is easily driven to the wall in times of stress and compelled to sell her body4 ,nor is there any doubt that under a system assuring every one a livelihood1 regardless of business conditions1 many women would be saved from adopting such a disgusting form of labor4 ,at the same time1 the radical interpretation fails to explain why1 when submitted to a practically identical pressure1 some women do not become prostitutes but either kill themselves or beg or steal4 ,lombroso's ,theory4 ,very unsatisfactory also is ,lombroso's attitude to prostitution4 ,he finds a constant coincidence between prostitution and crime and states that the female offender is a prostitute1 one of the varieties of the reo nato1 of the born criminal4 ,the female offender is not always a prostitute and modern research makes the theory of congenital criminality untenable4 ,kurt ,schneider in his exhaustive study of seventy prostitutes brings out interesting details of their biography which throw a clearer light upon the psychology of prostitution4 ,there were certain characteristics which all of those seventy women exhibited4 ,they were all unwilling to work4 ,they all were very grasping1 altho1 at the same time1 very extravagant spenders when it came to personal adornment4 ,eroticism seemed to play a very insignificant part in their choice of a livelihood4 ,most of them were frigid1 many homosexual1 the majority of them sadistic4 ,fifteen of them had been punished for larceny 7money and clothes74 ,many of them kept a pimp or cadet4 ,most of them were unhappy1 dissatisfied types4 ,all of them were greatly attached to children4 ,many of them were drunkards4 ,one half of them were weak minded4 ,seven per cent of them had been brought up in institutions4 ,we have there a striking picture of inferiority4 ,an endocrinological examination of those unfortunates1 similar to those which have been conducted recently at ,st4 ,elizabeth ,hospital1 ,washington1 ,d4 ,c41 would have probably revealed back of their unwillingness to work and of their thirst for money1 weak thyroids and poor adrenals1 not to mention unbalanced pituitary glands4 ,the fires of the body burnt slow in them1 producing and consuming little energy1 a condition which1 causing an obscure unconscious fear of the future1 compelled those women to seek easy ways of gathering money1 the only protection they could think of4 ,their inferiority complex revealed itself in their craving for personal adornment1 to which they sacrificed their protective earnings4 ,sensuality4 ,all the rant of the purity prophets to the contrary notwithstanding1 it is not sensuality which lures women into a life of shame4 ,if the prostitute sought in her means of livelihood mere gratification of vicious instincts1 why would she so often submit to the whims of a pimp who despoils her of her earnings4 ,the prostitute hates the men who can compel her thru their financial superiority to submit to their sexual desires4 ,the pimp1 whom she keeps and who depends upon her bounty1 is her inferior and the more she degrades him1 the less she feels her own degradation4 ,the prostitute1 like all inferiors1 is dissatisfied1 but so are the man of genius1 the inventor and the artist4 ,the genius is the dissatisfied individual who organically is able to compensate for his feeling of inferiority by creating a more pleasant environment1 physical or mental1 and derives therefrom credit1 praise1 rewards1 small as those rewards may be4 ,the prostitute1 too weak organically to find a suitable1 socially valuable1 form of compensation1 flees from a reality which is unpleasant to her4 ,alcohol and drugs supply her with a convenient form of escape from reality1 the more acceptable to her as her intelligence is the more limited4 ,father ,fixation4 ,kurt ,schneider found that fifty per cent of the prostitutes he examined were weak minded4 ,the ,chicago ,vice report published a few years ago revealed the fact that fifty per cent of the prostitutes examined by the vice investigators were the victims of a violent father fixation4 ,one half of them1 when asked by whom they had been seduced1 incriminated their fathers4 ,to a psychoanalyst such an answer is an obvious morbid wish fulfilment4 ,all of the women probably experienced unconscious incestuous cravings at some time or other1 and in the minds of the weak minded1 7fifty per cent of them according to ,schneider71 those cravings had produced an absolute delusion4 ,whether the incest was real or imaginary1 the fact remains that those unfortunates either believed in it or considered it as a plausible explanation and scapegoat4 ,a lie1 when accepted as a part of our biography1 often affects us as mightily as tho it were an actual fact4 ,for1 after all1 every lie we tell is a fact unconsciously acceptable to us and which affords our ego a certain protection4 ,the woman with a father fixation is usually frigid4 ,she either never marries or is a prey to prostitution fancies1 until analysis has freed her of her unconscious incest fear or has led her to accept her incestuous cravings as a part of her personality4 ,prostitution is a neurosis1 affecting mostly the hypothyroid1 hypoadrenal female of low culture and low intelligence4 ,psychoanalysis1 which requires a certain grade of mental development on the part of the patient1 is rather impotent in the majority of cases of prostitution when the woman has crossed the line which separates fancies from practice4 ,there are male prostitutes also1 of the normal sexual type4 ,i do not allude here to the homosexual males whose mentality shall be considered in another chapter4 ,by male prostitutes1 ,i mean men who consort with women1 in or out of wedlock1 for purely sordid considerations4 ,the ,pimp who exploits some prostitute is a prostitute himself1 but so is the man who marries for money or power a woman who does not attract him sexually4 ,the male prostitute is1 if anything1 ethically inferior to the female prostitute4 ,prevention1 rather than any form of cure1 may some day solve the problem of prostitution4 ,repressive measures are1 of course1 a dishonest farce which deceives no one and benefits no one4 ,the prostitute cannot be reeducated or adapted1 for she is a weakling and the modern world offers to her no equivalent for what she would have to give up in order to reform4 ,female children1 on the other hand1 if trained properly and made independent1 mentally and financially1 could grow up free from the handicaps and the fears which1 at the present day1 drive too many girls into adopting the easiest way4 ,prostitution has no redeeming grace4 ,it may have saved many young men from impotence but it has made quite as many impotent thru venereal infection4 ,some claim that it has saved many pure wives and daughters from temptation but it has contributed also thru infection to making thousands of innocent women sexual invalids4 ,prostitution is a maladjustment whose worst sin is perhaps the maladjustment of married life which it occasions in thousands of cases4 ,too many young men1 who acquired their sexual experience with prostitutes solely1 imagine that they know and understand women1 and they proceed to treat their life mates as tho the latter were only slightly different from the unfortunate neurotics they hired to relieve their sexual cravings4 ,to that sort of experience we owe the horrible type of the typical husband who never misses an opportunity of reminding his wife of the fact that she is only a woman4 ,,chapter ,,xiii ,,virginity ,i am very sceptical when it comes to drawing a clear line of cleavage between what is typically masculine and what is typically feminine in behavior1 and ,i believe that many of the so-called fundamental differences between the sexes are artificial and temporary ones due to the economic and social pressure which woman has to bear4 ,even in the valuation of virginity1 it is difficult to say that there is a masculine attitude and a feminine attitude4 ,broadly speaking1 we might state however that women1 the world over1 are more indifferent to the prematrimonial past of their future husbands than men are to the purity of their brides4 ,men ,experienced in ,matters of ,love wield a definite attraction over all women1 whether the latter are willing to admit it or not4 ,this is not due to any especially feminine trait but rather to the difficulties which women encounter when they endeavor to secure positive information on tabooed sexual topics4 ,they expect1 therefore1 their initiators to be conversant with the subject which is kept carefully shrouded in morbid mystery4 ,the majority of men1 on the other hand1 when marrying a woman who is neither a widow nor a divorce1 expect her to be absolutely pure1 that is1 not to have had any sexual relations with any other man4 ,ethical ,prostitution4 ,in certain parts of the world1 on the other hand1 males appear rather indifferent to the female's past4 ,in some parts of ,japan and among certain ,arab tribes1 comely girls may go to larger centers of the population and devote themselves for a period of years to prostitution4 ,after which1 they return to their native place sometimes with a dowry they have accumulated thriftily1 find a husband and settle down as wives and mothers1 in no way disqualified by their promiscuous past4 ,in certain parts of ,central ,europe1 window courting1 as it is sometimes called1 leads to unofficial trial marriages which do not arouse the jealousy of the final winner of a girl's favours4 ,among the ,western nations1 it is rather the very young1 the stupidly conservative1 the unsophisticated and the senile1 who consider virginity as a great attraction and in some cases as a powerful sexual stimulant4 ,the reasons for that are to be sought in the egotistical component of the masculine attitude4 ,the strong and powerful male who has frequently proved his virility is not obsessed by the fear of defeat in love's intimacies4 ,the innocent young man1 on the other hand1 who is full of misgivings and of diffidence1 the elderly man whose sexual powers are on the wane and who is no longer sure of himself1 prefer a woman who is totally ignorant of physical love4 ,their embarrassment or their shortcomings may escape a virgin but would not escape a woman of the world1 a widow or a divorce4 ,there is1 therefore1 in the search for virginity1 a slightly neurotic factor1 the fear of defeat1 the line of least effort1 the search for ego safety4 ,it must be noticed that it was during the great neurotic ages1 the ,middle ,ages1 which witnessed the bursting forth of so many hysterical epidemics1 that both the cult of the ,virgin and the belief in witches spread over ,europe4 ,the ,fear of ,woman4 ,man has always tried to protect himself against woman4 ,in his fear of sex equality he has either made her an angel or a beast4 ,the witch1 perverse and filthy1 was lowered to the level of hell4 ,the virgin1 on the other hand1 unsexed and raised to heaven1 was removed far enough from the world for perfect safety4 ,the ,will-to-,be-the-,first4 ,in the overemphasis placed by certain men upon virginity in the woman1 and in the anxiety shown by certain husbands at the thought that their wife may have had sexual relations with another man previous to her marriage1 we see the operation of the neurotic trait which ,adler has called the will-to-be-the-first and which manifests itself1 not only in the love life1 but in all of life's situations4 ,the neurotic of that type1 obsessed with a feeling of inferiority is tortured by the thought that he may not have been the first to caress his wife4 ,analysis proves that in early childhood1 he had a tendency 7observable in certain breeds of dogs7 to try to outrun every waggon1 horse1 train1 etc42 that in later life he always tries to walk ahead when in company and hastens his steps whenever anyone threatens to pass him on the street4 ,that type is given to hero worship1 as he likes to identify himself with his favorite hero1 ,csar1 ,napoleon1 etc4 ,states of anxiety develop whenever his preeminence in society or business is threatened4 ,telegony4 ,in the search for virginity there may also be in the male an unconscious intuition of some scientific facts4 ,the phenomenon of telegony1 explained by ,dr4 ,jules ,goldschmidt1 of ,paris1 in the ,medical ,review of ,reviews for ,april #aiba1 would1 if confirmed by careful observations1 throw a new light on the meaning of virginity4 ,the first male1 ,goldsmith states1 leaves an indelible impress on the female he possesses4 ,goldsmith believes that sperm plays a twofold part in the female organism that receives it4 ,it not only fecundates the egg but modifies the blood of the female4 ,he cannot believe that ,nature would waste millions of spermatozoa in order that one of them should reach the egg4 ,the millions of spermatozoa which are not needed for purposes of fecundation are absorbed1 he thinks1 by the mucous tissues of the woman's genitals and make her gradually more and more like her mate4 ,to this factor ,goldschmidt attributes the likeness of mates who have lived together many years4 ,when we reflect1 he writes1 on the deep impress produced by the action of a single spermatic cell1 we at once ask what will be the fate of the myriads of spermatozoids entering at the moment of fecundation1 and later on into the female organism4 ,again we have to insist on the fact that nature works with excessive profusion1 and that to secure success its means of action are multiple4 ,everywhere in the living world male generative cells are brought forth in an overwhelming abundance4 ,their multiplicity guarantees at least the possibility of meeting the rather far-off ovulum1 just as out of the multitude of male bees only one is chosen to impregnate the queen4 ,but it is inconceivable that the uncounted other male cells are condemned to useless death without any action on the entire female organism1 into which1 by reason of their mobility they can easily penetrate1 either into the mucous membrance of the uterus or into the lymphatic and blood capillaries1 and thru them into the whole circulation4 ,kohlbrugge has demonstrated that in the case of a certain bat1 the spermatozoids do enter in great numbers into the superficial stratum of the mucous membrance as well as into the glands and the adjacent tissues4 ,their fate is1 of course1 dissolution4 ,we know that blood is the receptacle of all the products that are created by healthy life or disease4 ,we know of no other liquid in the whole organic world so rich in the most heterogeneous chemical substances as blood4 ,certain important substances circulate in it1 which we only assume are there1 not having been able to isolate them1 but with which we work when we elaborate preventive or curative serums4 ,all the antigens1 antitoxins1 antibodies1 introduced into the blood by the living action of pathogenic bacilli1 as those of diphtheria1 typhoid1 tetanus1 after the happy termination of these diseases1 present themselves in such infinitesimal quantities that we can only designate them by their most remarkable biological effects4 ,they either confer for a lifetime an efficient immunity against renewal or1 exceptionally1 an increased susceptibility 7anaphylaxis7 for the bacilli which have created them4 ,if nature1 in its morbific attacks on the organism1 uses great quantities1 extremely small ones answer its purpose for defense4 ,can we not by analogy conclude that the dissolved spermatozoids confer on the blood and thru it on the whole female organism1 qualities which it had not possessed before their invasion8 ,from all of these facts we may return to our problem1 and infer that not alone the solitary male cell which fecundates the ovulum is of importance to the economy of the female organism1 but that we must not disregard the extremely numerous spermatic cells accompanying fecundation or the further introduction of these elements4 ,just as the bacillary products during and after infectious diseases represent substances able to confer immunity from any renewed attack and therefore cause an important transformation of the human system1 so the inference must be allowed that the spermatozoids1 too1 do exercise an ultimate lasting effect on the females organism1 which will acquire a greater sensibility for the original and an insensibility for1 or non-susceptibility towards extraneous generative cells1 even those able to fecundate4 ,this exclusive adaptation of the female organism to the male one is the phenomenon called telegony4 ,a curious example of telegony offers itself when a white woman1 who has at first lived with a negro and afterwards with a man of her own race1 presents her second husband or lover with a more or less intensely colored child4 ,such cases have given rise to dramatic and even tragic scenes when the innocent woman was simply modified 7telegonized7 by her first cohabitant4 ,all breeders are acquainted with the fact that the bull confers telegony on the cow4 ,the dark colored bull having fecundated a light colored cow1 the latter being subsequently covered by a red bull will put down dark and white streaked calves4 ,it is quite possible that the biological reaction of the blood in human and animal impregnation becomes identical in the mother with that of the first father1 and that the influence of another male does not change sensibly the maternal blood4 ,if demonstrated beyond the possibility of doubt1 thru careful observation1 telegony would be a tremendous fact which would1 to all the egotists and neurotics1 enhance tremendously the value of virginity in the woman4 ,what a joy it would be for the self-centered1 narcistic neurotic to know that he can gradually make his mate like unto himself6 ,on the other hand1 it might lead to most interesting experiments in eugenics and animal breeding4 ,thru deferred impregnation1 brought about by special contraceptive measures1 a better human type and better breeds of animals might be evolved4 ,it might also sound the death knell of certain contraceptive methods which prevent the human mates from attaining the physical and mental oneness which1 ,goldschmidt says1 is the result of life-long sexual association4 ,goldschmidt's thesis is worth investigating4 ,thus far the unverified observations and the sayings of more or less scientific breeders do not allow us to draw positive deductions4 ,,chapter ,,xiv4 ,,modesty1 ,,normal ,,and ,,abnormal ,modesty is not easy to define1 for it varies with races1 epochs and climes4 ,as ,i said in the preceding chapter1 in some parts of ,japan and in one ,arab tribe1 it is almost shameful for a young woman to be married without having had sexual experience4 ,a woman of the ,western races on the other hand1 regardless of her age and past1 must in order to show a ladylike breeding1 pretend a certain ignorance of things sexual when in the company of men1 even in the company of her fifth or sixth husband4 ,in ,turkey1 a woman may show her eyes but must veil her mouth2 in the ,southern ,sahara1 men of the ,tuareg tribes go about veiled like ,turkish ladies4 ,certain ,african tribes cover their backs carefully while exposing the rest of their bodies4 ,in other tribes1 men1 instead of concealing their genitals1 wear sheaths which exaggerate the size of their organs4 ,in most parts of the earth1 women keep the fact of their menstruation a secret4 ,in others1 they wear a cloth of a special color proclaiming that condition when present4 ,on the ,modern ,stage1 modesty seems satisfied if the nipples and the genitals are duly covered4 ,in some parts of ,europe entirely naked dancers have been seen in public4 ,until recently1 an unwritten law made it more or less necessary for the male performers to wear more clothing than female ones did4 ,the wave of homosexualism which has followed the war is probably responsible for the growing numbers of naked male actors and dancers who disport themselves nowadays on the ,french stage and elsewhere4 ,there is a normal form of modesty1 however1 and there are many abnormal aspects of that elusive feeling4 ,many animals seek safety and seclusion when performing certain important functions of their life1 nutrition1 reproduction and defecation1 which naturally place them at a disadvantage in emergencies requiring flight or fight4 ,even the boldest among the carnivorous animals1 lions and tigers1 drag their prey to a cave or into the depths of the bush before devouring it4 ,naked and otherwise shameless and indelicate savages will often walk a considerable distance from their village to satisfy their natural needs1 and then hide behind bushes or trees4 ,many birds and animals pair off and isolate themselves at mating time4 ,races and nations differ greatly in their degree of modesty in relation to nutrition1 reproduction and defecation4 ,european races dine in the open1 are more or less shameless in their love making1 they talk freely on sexual topics and erect urinals and comfort stations1 designated by their exact name1 in many public places4 ,anglo-,saxons hide themselves while eating1 are very silent about the processes of reproduction1 seldom indulge in public kissing and designate urinals and toilets1 which are very scarce in their lands1 by cover names such as lavatories1 smoking rooms1 etc4 ,normal ,modesty may then be a survival of the fear which the primitive men and women experienced of being surprised and overpowered by hostile animals or tribesmen during an embrace or when unprotected by garments or armor4 ,in fact1 modesty seems to disappear as soon as safety reigns or when no hostile element may be suspected of lurking in the environment4 ,a woman strips without shame to undergo a medical examination1 men and women appear naked in public baths where only one sex is admitted at a time1 etc4 ,then also normal modesty must be considered as an offgrowth of the unavoidable repressions of modern1 civilised life4 ,like the incest taboo1 it has been cultivated for reasons of convenience4 ,modern community life having placed a thousand restrictions upon the age at which we can marry and the conditions under which we should marry1 in other words1 having delayed considerably our normal sexual gratification1 an effort has been made to repress erotism by concealing suggestive parts of the human body4 ,this is1 of course1 an abortive attempt1 for habit is a more potent protector against temptation than veils4 ,the races which live practically naked are not more erotic than the fully clothed1 civilised races or the ,arabs who not only cover their entire body and heads but conceal even the shape of their bodies in the loose folds of their ample garments4 ,a husband1 no longer erotically aroused by his wife's naked body1 may be attracted violently by the partly draped body of another woman4 ,suggestive ,draperies4 ,one of the results of the policy of body-concealment has been to transform certain draperies into sexual symbols of great aphrodisiac power4 ,certain garments lend to the human body an appeal which it might not have if fully exposed4 ,in other words1 the obstacles which are meant to hold back erotism may be used neurotically as a morbid expression of erotism4 ,at the present day1 however1 that form of protection against temptation serves its purpose to some extent and cannot be discarded until mankind has been reeducated4 ,custom and the law uphold official modesty4 ,the mere fact1 however1 that modesty has to be enforced legally is one of the best arguments against the sentimental1 unscientific view that modesty is an innate1 natural feeling of delicacy based upon some higher1 spiritual values1 etc4 ,modern1 official modesty is merely a compromise with sexual reality4 ,it has been1 like all inhibitory feelings1 greatly overestimated and forced upon the weaker sex by egotistical men to prevent a display of their female's charms1 likely to attract other women-hunters4 ,weak males with a sense of inferiority have called modesty the typically feminine virtue4 ,excessive ,modesty1 in men as well as in women1 is an abnormal phenomenon1 a mask for unconscious lewdness and obscenity4 ,it is a neurotic means of protection against uncontrollable desires1 or at times an expression of one's sour grapes attitude to others4 ,it is always the shapeless and unattractive woman who is the most vociferous champion of highneck gowns and long skirts4 ,a sense of bodily inferiority obsesses the woman who does not allow any caresses unless the room is darkened4 ,her modesty yields rapidly1 however1 to the praise of her attractions which she hears from the mouth of her lover4 ,immodest ,modesty4 ,a woman took her daughter to a specialist's office for an examination4 ,the girl1 asked to strip1 complied at once with the doctor's request and stood naked before him without any display of shame4 ,when they left1 the mother made the very unwise remark that her daughter must have lacked modesty entirely to have stood the ordeal without any embarrassment4 ,in this case1 it was the mother who lacked true modesty and the daughter whose mind was pure4 ,the girl knew she was in the presence of a physician1 but to the more highly sexed mother1 the physician was above everything a man4 ,this sort of prurient modesty which1 very often1 exerts a baneful influence on the love-life of the individual1 is usually due to repressed childhood memories and complexes4 ,fear of ,love4 ,stekel1 of ,vienna1 cites the case of a girl who evinced on every occasion a morbid fear of everything connected with love4 ,she avoided men1 she protected herself zealously against every suggestive influence1 she decried love and marriage and was constantly trying to spiritualise the things of the flesh which she considered bestial4 ,analysis showed that until the age of thirteen she had been perfectly normal in her behavior1 considering love and marriage as natural human goals4 ,one day1 however1 she chanced upon a collection of pornographic photographs belonging to her father4 ,instead of corrupting her mind1 the incident disgusted her and caused her to renounce all the things of the flesh and to become unusually1 negatively modest4 ,a patient of mine declared on the occasion of her first call at my office that all men were beasts4 ,whenever she associated with a man1 at dinner1 theater or dancing parties1 she suffered from choking sensations1 nausea1 etc4 ,analysis revealed that at the age of six she had been subjected to an attempt at seduction4 ,another woman patient who went thru a mental crisis in the course of which she gave up all worldly pleasures and decided never to marry1 merging into hysterical states very soon afterward1 had bow legs and a tendency to skin eruptions which had1 on many occasions1 proved humiliating to her egotism4 ,her decision never to marry meant3 ,i shall not risk showing my deformed legs and my skin blemishes to a man4 ,also1 at the age of ten1 she had witnessed a scene of brutality in which a man had dragged his wife on the street by her hair4 ,she was morbidly modest and wept bitterly once when a man whom she knew only slightly1 pressed a kiss upon her lips4 ,withal her dreams revealed a violently erotic temperament4 ,like all exaggerated feelings morbid modesty is the mask for the opposite feelings1 passionate sexual cravings4 ,the woman who allows every one to kiss her is aroused but little by such caresses4 ,the woman who never kisses any one and pretends she does not like being kissed1 is usually the one who knows that a kiss might cause her to lose her self-control and to abandon all modesty4 ,the puritanical male1 paragon of modesty among his sex1 is either an inflammable type who is afraid of his own sensuality or an impotent individual who protects himself against being put to any sexual test4 ,that exaggerated modesty is only one of the components of the neurotic temperament has been well demonstrated by ,adler3 ,the morbid modesty of neurotics1 he writes1 who cannot visit a public toilet1 who are unable to urinate in the presence of others1 who avoid the society of women on account of blushing or anxiety or heart palpitations1 reveals to us the strained manly ambition which supports itself against the original feeling of inferiority4 ,the ,masculine ,protest 7craving for virility7 of those patients1 insecure to the core1 forces them into this arrangement whose boundaries encroach upon those of bashfulness and awkwardness4 ,often1 in neurotics of either sex1 one observes an inability to go to a toilet in cases of great necessity if some one is looking at them4 ,the greater modesty of women1 especially of neurotic women1 in all relations of life1 originates from the fear which is implanted in them from the earliest childhood that attention might be directed to their sex4 ,i have often convinced myself that the behavior of girls and of women is considerably influenced by this more or less unconscious factor1 indeed that the progress of their sexual development1 like that of male patients who feel unmanly1 the formation of social and professional relations and love relations1 are immediately checked as soon as the patient is allowed to play a real 'feminine' or subordinate part or presupposes this expectation from others4 ,this fact is in no way affected when repressed sexual stimuli come to light as the present source of the checks of aggression4 ,they are similarly arranged and have the purpose of enhancing the fear of the partner and of permitting the retreat decided upon in the plan of life1 to be entered upon with certainty2 they are therefore acts of foresight4 ,the neurotic had already in childhood laid the foundation of this foresight and in it is reflected the feeling of shame as the guiding line of reassuring modesty and the prudery of civilisation4 ,the previous history of the patient reveals an exaggerated modesty and this is true at times of those who in other respects show a boyish nature2 the anxiety of nervous children on being exposed may be observed in their conduct4 ,they exclude every one from the room and lock the door when they are going to undress4 ,this conduct is also observable in boys who have grown up among girls4 ,in the prognosis of neurosis1 this expedient of cowardice is a bad symptom4 ,it is the equivalent of later castration thoughts and neurotic wishes1 the wish to be a woman1 for instance1 which expresses itself as soon as the fear of the life mate becomes actual or a decision has to be avoided4 ,lack of ,modesty1 when it assumes a morbid form1 has1 according to ,adler1 the same meaning as prurient modesty4 ,the very shameless1 obscene talker1 ,adler writes1 is trying to demonstrate to his listeners the fact of his great manliness of which he is not very sure himself1 the very immodest woman merely demonstrates her inability to adapt herself to her feminine role4444 ,in the analysis of such women1 at times only in their dreams1 is observed the childish expectation of a metamorphosis into a male1 an attempted substitute for the will-to-power1 the will-to-be-above4 ,,chapter ,,xv ,,jealousy ,jealousy has been subjected to the distortion which every sexual manifestation suffers under the influence of our modern puritanical civilisation4 ,it has to be concealed and lied about and derives from that fact an immense obsessional power4 ,it becomes a mask for other feelings and1 in its turn1 may masquerade in the guise of other feelings4 ,both its presence and its absence may denote normality or abnormality4 ,intense jealousy may be the projection of our feelings into another individual and be a symptom of paranoia4 ,on the other hand1 the entire lack of jealousy of a husband who enjoys the sight of his wife caressed by another man1 certainly reveals a most morbid masochism4 ,hunger1 thirst1 erotism always find their satisfaction at some time4 ,intense pain deadens itself thru its very intensity4 ,jealousy on the contrary feeds on itself4 ,it can be aroused by the unseen as well as by the obvious4 ,in fact1 like many neurotic elements1 it thrives best on the invisible and the unreal4 ,jealousy based upon unseen things1 hunches1 intuition1 borders dangerously on hallucinatory states4 ,the absolute blindness of some husbands1 on the other hand1 reveals a form of egotistical cocksureness closely allied to delusions of greatness4 ,rules for ,husbands4 ,forel1 in some ways very old fashioned and unimaginative1 has summarised as follows the proper rules of conduct for reasonable husbands suffering from jealousy4 ,an intelligent husband1 he writes1 should quietly find out thru the usual agencies whether his suspicions are justified or not4 ,for what is the use of being jealous8 ,if his suspicions are unfounded1 he can only annoy his wife and make her unhappy thru his jealous behavior4 ,if he was right in suspecting her1 there is only one of two things to be done3 either an otherwise excellent wife has yielded to the attraction of another man and may feel perfectly miserable over it4 ,she should be forgiven and led back into the right path4 ,or a wife has no affection left for her husband or she is an unworthy1 characterless deceiver1 and in such cases1 what is needed is not jealousy but a divorce4 ,instead of reasonable husbands1 ,forel should have written1 husbands free from complexes1 for jealousy is little besides a neurotic mask for an unrecognized feeling of inferiority4 ,there are thousands of husbands who would not dare to find out whether their wives are untrue or not4 ,some may be so enslaved to their wives' bodies that they cannot contemplate the possibility of losing them4 ,public opinion1 if a scandal should break out1 would compel them to seek a divorce and therefore they prefer to remain in ignorance of the real state of affairs and of their defeat4 ,others are so egotistical that they refuse to suspect their wives of infidelity and are honestly trying to protect their wife's reputation when they make a jealous scene4 ,this is frequently observed among the after-me-who-has-a-chance8 type of husband4 ,other egotists fear the ridicule that might follow upon exposure and which might destroy some of their self confidence4 ,they would be too weak to bear up well under their friends' open or concealed sarcasm4 ,the jealous scenes they make to their suspected wives are in the nature of a punishment which they inflict on the faithless one4 ,other husbands1 entangled in extramatrimonial affairs1 are in no way desirous to create a scandal but work themselves into jealous moods to keep up a pretence of interest in their wives4 ,others1 very old fashioned1 believe in a double standard and1 while condoning their own weaknesses1 condemn every appearance of evil in their wives4 ,very ,few ,men or ,women ,admit ,their ,jealousy4 ,most of them cover it with ethical veils of the most transparent type3 ,you neglect your household1 you are a poor mother 7or father7 to your children1 you are making yourself 7or me7 ridiculous1 etc4 ,some husbands deny they are jealous but declaim against low neck gowns1 flesh-colored stockings1 face powder1 rouge1 lip sticks to which they object on moral grounds4 ,the last two groups derive a great comfort from their assumed ethical and moral superiority which they use as a justification for their endless nagging4 ,some jealous husbands force motherhood upon their wives year after year as a protection against unfaithfulness4 ,a woman disabled by pregnancy and lactation is1 of necessity1 more faithful4 ,attempts at freedom on the part of a woman burdened with a numerous progeny can easily be repressed by admonitions such as ,remember the children1 etc4 ,jealousy and ,impotence4 ,jealousy in a man is often caused by the fact that he has become impotent4 ,unable to gratify his wife physically1 he imagines that she seeks consolation elsewhere and in that way he gets even with her3 ,i am impotent but she is promiscuous1 so runs the neurotic's logic4 ,not infrequently a woman who has been brought up to consider physical relations as slightly shameful and something which a well brought up female submits to1 but never enjoys1 may1 if she is very erotic1 develop terrible fits of jealousy4 ,frink1 mentioning one of those rather frequent cases1 dissects the psychology of that type of jealous women as follows3 ,if her husband's caresses leave her unsatisfied1 she is caught between the two horns of a dilemma4 ,if she grants that this is enough to satisfy her husband's 'animal instincts' she must then admit that she is more erotic than he is1 hence1 more 'animal' than he4 ,and such an admission is impossible to a woman of puritanical upbringing4 ,hence 'logically' she concludes that he must be untrue to her4 ,frink adds3 ,undue jealousy in a man usually means that he has1 or thinks he has1 some deficiency of sexual power4 ,it means in a woman1 not1 as many seem to think1 that she is unusually in love with her husband1 but rather1 that she is not perfectly satisfied with him1 and often that she thinks that if he really knew her1 he would not be satisfied with her4 ,in most patients suffering from morbid jealousy there is an overaccentuation of the homosexual component of the libido4 ,very often some unattractive individual feels jealous because he or she has ceased to attract sexually his or her life mate4 ,a neurotic1 whose face had been made hideous by a discoloration due to illness1 was sure his wife must have a lover1 because she no longer seemed to feel erotic in his company4 ,his way of reasoning was as follows3 ,i cannot disgust her1 hence some one else must attract her4 ,childish ,behavior4 ,some neurotics with a strong father or mother fixation become jealous of an otherwise perfectly faithful and devoted mate because they fail to receive from their husband or wife1 the sort of attention and uncritical devotion they would expect from a parent4 ,those people are still children who never admit the possibility of adult equality between them and their mate4 ,the mate must be the strong father or the self-sacrificing mother4 ,they themselves remain babies1 constantly to be petted1 admired and consoled4 ,if their husband or wife fails to shower on them the thousand little attentions which a nursling requires1 they fly into a petty and unjustified rage1 suspecting that some one else has robbed them of their privileges4 ,the ,don ,juan and the ,messalina are quite as jealous as faithful mates4 ,men leading a double life may watch wife and mistress with equal suspicion4 ,this is probably due to the fact that they feel unable to satisfy both women sexually4 ,orientals with a harem are said to be infinitely more tigerish in their jealousy than ,western men of the most monogamous type4 ,i have known several married women who1 altho they had deceived their husbands on several occasions1 were terribly upset when their husbands showed too much interest in some other woman4 ,the ,ego ,rampant4 ,the proprietor of a hotel in a ,western town1 who lived a few blocks from his inn1 was annoyed when his wife refused more and more frequently to come and keep him company at the hotel in the evenings4 ,when a young lawyer took up his residence at the hotel1 however1 she never failed to put in an appearance1 regardless of the weather or of her health1 which she had used so often as excuses for staying at home4 ,later on1 detectives supplied him with enough grounds to secure a divorce4 ,curiously enough1 what brought forth the greatest display of anger on his part when he recalled the incident1 was not the thought of the caresses which his wife and the other man may have exchanged4 ,his humiliation was indescribable when he realised that the other man had wielded more influence upon his wife than he had himself4 ,one night1 he said to me1 when she came down thru a heavy snowstorm1 just to see him1 ,i could have killed her4 ,sexless ,jealousy4 ,all the foregoing tends to show that jealousy has very little to do with sex4 ,many domestic animals evince violent jealousy when their masters show attentions to strange animals4 ,a feud may be precipitated among the household pets when the dog beholds his mistress petting the cat and conversely4 ,fox terriers often attempt to bite people who shake hands with their master or1 in friendly ways1 lay hands on him4 ,likewise1 it was jealousy which drove ,cain to slay ,abel and which caused ,joseph to suffer many indignities at the hands of his brothers4 ,a ,freudian might say that ,cain and ,joseph's brothers were seeking the father's 7,god's7 homosexual love and begrudged whatever of it was lavished on their victims4 ,adler would more plausibly suggest that the prestige and power wielded by ,joseph and ,abel were too much of an irritant for their inferior and greedy brothers4 ,in other spheres than the sexual sphere1 we notice that success won by undisputed superiors or absolute inferiors does not arouse our jealousy4 ,a young pianist does not resent honors bestowed upon ,paderewksy1 nor does ,paderewsky begrudge the stripling his early success4 ,jealousy1 on the other hand1 rages among great artists of about the same rank4 ,in the first case1 superiority or inferiority is taken for granted4 ,in the case of equals competing for the same laurels inferiority is feared4 ,husbands and ,lovers4 ,many men feel no jealousy over the caresses their mistress may receive from her husband4 ,the husband has been defeated by the lover1 hence is absolutely inferior4 ,the same1 it goes without saying1 applies to women in love with a married man4 ,many men1 in fact1 prefer to have extramatrimonial affairs with married women and many women with married men4 ,they no longer fear the husband or wife whom they have defeated in the struggle for his or her mate's favor4 ,they consider him or her as a watchful guardian of their mistress's or their lover's sexual life1 less formidable than an unknown man or woman might be1 who had not been defeated yet4 ,the suttee custom in ,india1 the various wills left by ,western men or women1 providing that the surviving spouse shall be disinherited if he or she marries again1 shows that jealousy has little to do with love1 sexual or affectionate4 ,that posthumous jealousy is a distinct attempt at controlling one's property after one's death1 whether the property be a woman or a certain sum of money4 ,cruelty4 ,adler has pointed out the cruel character of jealousy and the constant attempts made by jealous neurotics to disparage and belittle their love object4 ,the neurotic suffering from jealousy is insatiable in his search for ways to test his mate4 ,this indicates his lack of self confidence1 his lack of self esteem and his uncertainty4 ,his jealous efforts are calculated to bring him more into notice1 to attract more attention to himself and thus to increase his self-esteem4 ,he revives upon every possible occasion the old feeling of being neglected and disregarded1 and assumes anew the childish attitude of wishing to have everything1 to obtain a proof of superiority upon his mate4 ,a glance1 a word spoken in company1 an acknowledgment of a favor1 a show of interest for a painting1 for an author1 for a relative1 even a protective attitude toward servants1 may be taken as the cause of the operation4 ,in certain cases the impression is distinctly given that the jealous individual cannot rest because he has no confidence in peaceful happiness or account of his misfortune4 ,then a neurosis develops in which an effort is made to subdue the life mate by a system of attacks1 to arouse his or her sympathy2 or perhaps the attack is intended as a punishment4 ,headaches1 weeping fits1 weakness1 paralysis1#a attacks of anxiety and depression1 silence1 etc41 have the same value as alcoholism1 perversion or lewdness4 ,the line of distrust and doubt1 often about the legitimacy of the children1 becomes more pronounced1 outbreaks of wrath and scolding1 mistrust of the entire opposite sex1 are regular phenomena and reveal the other side of jealousy as a preparation for the disparagement of the life mate4 ,often pride prevents consciousness of jealousy but the behavior is the same4 ,this situation is at times made worse by the fact that the suspected mate beholds the helplessness of the jealous one with unconscious satisfaction and fails to find the words or the tone that would hold jealousy within bounds4 ,making ,people ,jealous4 ,this is why the efforts made by certain men and women to arouse their sexual partner's jealousy are productive of rather baneful results4 ,they do not bring out the love or affection of the person who is made jealous but his worst egotistical and sadistic traits4 ,one of the strongest factors in love being the egotistical satisfaction we derive from the possession of the love object and the realisation of our influence over it1 our love wanes rapidly when we see another person wielding much power over it4 ,the stratagem has temporary effects which may deceive the person using them4 ,the jealous lover1 at first makes decided efforts to regain his position1 but he soon feels swayed by egotistical considerations which lead him toward the line of least effort4 ,slighted by one woman1 he turns to another for consolation1 and usually finds it4 ,the man or woman who considers it shrewd to let his mate suspect that there are others1 for one thing encourages faithlessness by creating a precedent4 ,it is especially when the other 7or others7 are distinctly inferior in appearance or position that this sort of game ends disastrously4 ,the woman who likes to mention the attentions bestowed upon her by some inferior man and seems to enjoy them accomplishes two things4 ,she makes herself appear inferior and easy and makes her lover feel that any inferior man could compete with him for her love and that1 hence1 he himself must be inferior4 ,he may run away from her to escape that feeling of inferiority4 ,if he does not leave her1 he no longer feels compelled to make any effort to please her1 since worthless homage seems so valuable to her4 ,jealousy is the ,hell of ,love and no one should dare to open its gates lightheartedly4 ,one should be the more careful in arousing jealousy as the green eyed goddess now and then is responsible for some killing4 ,the sexually jealous husband may kill his wife's lover1 the egotistically jealous husband may kill the unfaithful wife4 ,the former removes temptation from her path1 the latter avenges his wounded egotism4 ,it is not always the sort of love that flares up frequently in jealous outburst1 sexual or egotistical1 which is the deepest4 ,i know of a case in which a husband repressed entirely his anger and desire for vengeance when his wife left him to live with another man4 ,a clever psychologist1 he realized that lack of opposition to her plans would kill the romance of his wife's rash step4 ,he also knew that any violence to which he might submit her lover would crown him with the halo of martyrdom4 ,he wrote to her3 ,i shall not interfere with your adventure1 for uninterrupted intimacy will soon cause you to tire of each other4 ,nor will ,i shoot him for ,i would thereby transform him in your mind into a hero4 ,eventually1 the erring wife returned to her home4 ,,chapter ,,xvi ,,insane ,,jealousy ,one form of jealousy which has absolutely nothing to do with love in the normal sense of the word1 and one which not infrequently leads to acts of violence1 to the love tragedies of newspaper headlines1 is simply one of the first symptoms of paranoia4 ,in ,delusional ,jealousy1 the patient suffering repressed homosexual cravings1 projects his own desires into the personality of his life mate4 ,an unconsciously homosexual husband1 attracted sexually by every man in his environment1 assumes that his wife is also subject to the same attraction and suspects her of having sexual relations with every man who arouses him4 ,an unconsciously homosexual wife imagines that her husband has a liaison with every woman who appeals to her perverse fancies4 ,the paranoiac being at times very clever and convincing1 that form of jealousy1 insane as it may appear to the man or the woman who is the victim of it1 may deceive the outsiders4 ,in certain cases1 the delusional character of it is obvious to everybody1 including the jealous person4 ,a paranoiac told me that every night he saw a man entering his wife's bedroom thru a window protected by solid iron bars so close to one another that a cat could have squeezed thru them only with difficulty4 ,this was1 of course1 a case of hallucination1 pure and simple4 ,homosexualism4 ,other cases are more complicated4 ,dr4 ,s4 ,ferenczi1 of ,budapest1 reports two of them which illustrate well the mechanism of insane jealousy due to unconscious homosexualism4 ,he had a housekeeper whose husband1 a man of thirty-eight1 also busied himself about the house in his spare time4 ,he was constantly cleaning ,ferenczi's rooms1 putting fresh polish on the doors and floors1 pottering around1 evidently anxious to show his good will and his devotion to his wife's employer4 ,this man was very intemperate and beat his wife on several occasions4 ,altho she was most unattractive1 he constantly accused her of infidelity with ,ferenczi and every male patient treated by him4 ,when the woman revealed those facts to ,ferenczi1 he gave the couple notice but decided to have a serious talk with her husband4 ,the man denied having beaten his wife1 altho this had been confirmed by witnesses4 ,he maintained that his wife was a real vampire1 whose lust was sapping his life strength4 ,during this explanation1 he impulsively took ,ferenczi's hand and kissed it1 saying that he had never met anyone dearer or kinder than the doctor4 ,a talk with the woman revealed to ,ferenczi that the man had always been very distant in his attitude to his wife4 ,he would often push her away brutally1 calling her all sorts of opprobrious names4 ,when he learnt that ,ferenczi had given her notice1 the insane man abused and hit his wife1 and threatened to throw her out on the street and to stab her darling4 ,ferenczi at first paid no attention to those threats for the man remained very devoted1 respectful and well behaved4 ,when he learnt1 however1 that the man was sleeping with a sharp kitchen knife under his pillow and when he woke up one night to find him standing in his bedroom1 he notified the authorities and the maniac was committed to an insane asylum4 ,there is no doubt1 ,ferenczi writes1 that this was a case of alcoholic delusion of jealousy4 ,the conspicuous feature of his homosexual attachment to me1 however1 allows the interpretation that the jealousy he felt of every man1 was only the projection of his own desires for the male sex4 ,also1 his lack of desire for his wife was not simply impotence but was determined by his unconscious homosexuality4 ,to him alcohol played the part of an inhibition-poison and brought to the surface his crude homosexual erotism1 which1 as it was intolerable to his consciousness1 he imputed to his wife4 ,it was only subsequently that ,i found a complete confirmation of this4 ,he had been married before1 years ago4 ,he lived only a short time in peace with his first wife1 began to drink soon after the wedding and abused his wife1 tormenting her with scenes of jealousy until she left him and secured a divorce4 ,in the interval between his two marriages1 he was said to have been a temperate1 reliable and steady man and to have taken to drink only after his second marriage4 ,alcoholism was not the deeper cause of his paranoia2 it was rather that1 in the insoluble conflict between his conscious heterosexual and his unconscious homosexual desires1 he took to alcohol1 which brought the homosexual erotism to the surface1 his consciousness getting rid of it by way of projection1 of delusions of jealousy4 ,he saddled his wife with his desires and by jealous scenes assured himself that he was in love with her4 ,a ,jealous ,wife4 ,the other case is that of a woman1 still young1 who after living in harmony with her husband for a number of years and bearing him daughters1 began to suffer from violent fits of jealousy soon after the birth of another child1 a boy4 ,alcoholism played no part in this case4 ,she suspected every move her husband made4 ,she dismissed maid after maid and finally had only male servants in the house4 ,curiously enough1 her jealousy was directed against very young and very old1 even very ugly women1 while she was not jealous of her society friends or of the pretty women whom she and her husband occasionally met4 ,her conduct at home became so unbearable and her threats so dangerous that she was taken to a sanatorium upon ,freud's advice4 ,after which ,ferenczi proceeded to analyse her4 ,she harbored many delusions of greatness and ideas of reference4 ,she thought she found in the local paper veiled allusions to her depravity and to her ridiculous position as a betrayed wife4 ,the highest personalities in the land were banded against her1 etc4 ,she had married her husband against her wishes and when she bore the first daughter and he manifested his disappointment1 she began to feel that she had indeed married the wrong man4 ,she then made the first scene of jealousy in connection with a little girl of thirteen who came to help the servant girls4 ,while still in bed after her confinement1 she made the little girl kneel and swear by her father's life that she was still pure4 ,this oath calmed her at the time4 ,after the birth of her son1 she felt she had fulfilled her duty to her husband and was free4 ,she flirted with every man but would not tolerate the slightest liberty from them4 ,at the same time1 she made her husband violent scenes of jealousy and tried to incapacitate him1 thru her constant passionate advances1 for relations with any other women4 ,when taken to a sanatorium1 she gave evidence1 thru her behavior toward the other women inmates of strong homosexual leanings4 ,she confessed to ,ferenczi that there had been homosexual experiences in her childhood4 ,she then became more and more unmanageable and the analysis had to be abandoned4 ,a ,case of ,projection4 ,this is ,ferenczi's comment upon this example of insane jealousy3 ,this case of delusional jealousy becomes clear when we assume that it was a question of projection upon the husband of her desire for her own sex4 ,a girl who had grown up in an exclusively feminine environment is suddenly forced into a marriage of convenience with a man she dislikes4 ,she reconciles herself to it1 however1 and only shows indignation when her husband proves cruelly unkind 7disappointment over the birth of a girl7 by letting her desire turn toward her childhood ideal1 the little girl of thirteen4 ,the attempt fails1 she cannot endure homosexuality any longer and has to project it upon her husband4 ,finally after the birth of her son1 when her 'duty' is done1 the homosexuality she had kept in bounds takes possession in a crude erotic way of all the objects that offer no possibility for sublimation 7young girls1 old women etc471 although all this erotism1 7with the exception of cases when she can hide it under the mask of harmless flirtation71 is imputed to the husband4 ,in order to support herself in that lie1 the patient is compelled to show increased coquetry toward the male sex1 to whom she had become very indifferent and1 indeed1 to demean herself like a nymphomaniac4 ,i have cited both cases at length for they confirm the statement ,i have made elsewhere in this book that very exaggerated feeling is usually a mask for the opposite feeling4 ,ferenczi's two patients1 in love with persons of their own sex1 simulated neurotically a passionate attachment for their heterosexual mates1 who1 naturally could not attract them4 ,masked ,sadism4 ,their stormy jealousy was more akin to hatred than to love4 ,there was no tenderness in it but a good deal of sadism1 of cruelty1 and they used it in order to torture their mates on whom1 in the course of their jealous scenes1 they could heap up abuse1 which they would not1 under any other circumstances1 dare to voice as freely4 ,many a husband would like to insult a wife he detests4 ,neurotic jealousy supplies him with an excuse which he might not find elsewhere4 ,after which1 if the vocabulary he used on that occasion is especially vile1 he has a good scapegoat at his disposal4 ,i was crazed by jealousy and did not realise what ,i was saying4 ,,chapter ,,xvii ,,homosexualism2 ,,its ,,genesis ,love's normal goal is the union of the male and the female in a way which may insure the reproduction of the species4 ,at times1 however1 we behold love deviating from the path that leads to that goal3 a man may love another man as passionately as he would love a woman1 a woman may be consumed with desire for another woman4 ,certain parts of the ancient world looked with indifference upon such deviations from the normal4 ,the poems of ,sappho1 the dialogues of ,plato1 to only mention the best known sources of information on the subject1 prove that in classic ,greece homosexual unions were countenanced by public opinion4 ,in the ,banquet young ,alkibiades describes1 with a frankness reminiscent of eighteenth century novels1 his attempts at seducing ,socrates4 ,in the holy island of ,thera an inscription commemorates the wedding of two young men1 ,erastos and ,klainos1 which was celebrated with all sorts of ceremonies4 ,a distinction was even drawn in those days between homosexual love which was purely sexual and the kind of love which was both sexual and intellectual4 ,groups of ,male ,lovers1 ,harmodios and ,aristogeiton1 ,kratinos and ,aristodemos1 etc41 became famous and legendary owing to their unusual faithfulness and constancy4 ,pederasty was countenanced by the very behavior of the ,greek gods1 of ,zeus in particular4 ,the various philosophers granted women the right to indulge in homosexual love if they wished1 but1 nevertheless1 ,lesbian love1 as it was called after ,sappho of ,lesbos1 was rather considered as a freak of nature1 if not a vice4 ,the low social condition of ,hellenic women accounts for that illogical difference in treatment4 ,women ,were ,harem ,slaves with little opportunity for intellectual development and their homosexualism could not drape itself in the mantle of intellectual pretence which it wore in the gymnasiums and schools frequented by men4 ,greek mythology offers no example of love between goddesses4 ,sappho and the ,lesbian poetesses gave female passion an eminent place in ,greek literature but the ,aeolian women did not found a tradition corresponding to that of the ,dorian men4 ,we even find in ,lucian's works a passage indicating that some of the ,greeks felt at the thought of female homosexualism the repugnance which we feel at the thought of male homosexualism4 ,the ,tide ,turns4 ,about the third century and until the eighteenth1 the tide turned1 at least in the ,western world1 and homosexualism found itself confronted by a barrier of penalties which in certain lands included capital punishment4 ,after the ,french revolution such extreme penalties were abandoned in several ,european countries4 ,at present1 death is no longer the wages of the homosexual sin1 but jail sentences and ostracism of the most severe sort punish the sinner when detected4 ,legally1 then1 homosexualism is considered as a voluntary perversion1 to be punished1 not as an abnormality1 to be treated or accepted4 ,this position is absolutely ridiculous and goes counter to every possible scientific view of homosexualism1 its nature and its genesis4 ,whether psychiatrists consider sexualism from a purely physical point of view or from a purely psychic point of view1 they all consider it1 not as a matter of free choice1 but as a compulsion1 an organic compulsion according to the first view1 an unconscious mental compulsion according to the latter4 ,opprobrium and punishment constitute no solution for any compulsion1 be it physical or mental4 ,many ,theories have been advanced as to the genesis of homosexualism and most of them are very unsatisfactory because every one of them generally excludes the others and because they attempt one thing which cannot be done3 to found homosexualism either on a purely physical or on a purely mental basis4 ,we can never understand homosexualism until we consider it from an organic point of view1 according to which mental states are neither the cause nor the result of physical states1 or vice versa1 but mental and physical states are two aspects of the organism1 of the personality4 ,the first hypothesis ,i intend to review is that of the ,berlin sexologist ,magnus ,hirschfeld which has had more influence on modern thought than any other theory of homosexualism and which unfortunately has been accepted as gospel truth by many homosexuals4 ,the ,third ,sex4 ,hirschfeld reminds us in his book ,intermediate ,sexual ,stages that during the first eight weeks of its existence1 the fetus is neither male nor female4 ,it is only about the eighth week that a differentiation takes place and that the sex of the unborn can be determined4 ,a thousand physical influences may be at work in fetal life which may cause underdevelopment of the male fetus' organs1 which then may resemble a female's in many particulars1 or the overdevelopment of a female's clitoris which may make it slightly similar to a man's penis4 ,thousands of variations can be observed which1 in certain cases1 have caused the attending physician to declare the child's sex as doubtful4 ,according to the degree of development of their sexual organs1 ,hirschfeld suggests a classification of the intermediates into hermaphrodites1 androgynes1 transvestites1 homosexuals and metatropists4 ,i shall not touch upon the first two classes1 hermaphrodites and androgynes1 which are obvious1 gross1 physical malformations of a congenital character4 ,transvestism1 homosexualism and metatropism1 however1 deserve careful consideration4 ,the ,transvestites are men who experience a craving to go about dressed as women1 women who are anxious to dress themselves as men4 ,hirschfeld considers them as closely related to the male androgynes who crave to have breasts like women and are ashamed of facial or bodily hair1 and to the female androgynes who are ashamed of their breasts and wish to have a beard and body hair4 ,transvestites generally explain that they do not feel free except in the garb of the opposite sex4 ,in men's clothes1 a male transvestite said1 ,i have the feeling of wearing a uniform4 ,in feminine clothes1 a female transvestite said1 ,i feel inhibited and hampered4 ,it is only when wearing masculine garments that ,i feel energetic and efficient4 ,the late ,dr4 ,mary ,walker1 the ,french painter ,rosa ,bonheur1 the ,french explorer ,madame ,dieulafoy1 were characteristic examples of energetic women who felt compelled to abandon the garb of their sex and to dress themselves as men4 ,are ,transvestities ,homosexual8 ,dr4 ,wilhelm ,stekel of ,vienna objects to drawing a line between transvestites and homosexuals4 ,but we must make a distinction4 ,hirschfeld is right in stating that there are no more homosexuals among transvestites than among normal individuals4 ,he means1 of course1 conscious homosexuals practicing their abnormal form of love4 ,we know however1 that there are thousands of men and women who1 while consciously experiencing the greatest disgust at the thought of homosexual practices are unconscious homosexuals4 ,their dreams leave no doubt as to the nature of their cravings4 ,we may reconcile the ,stekel view with the ,hirschfeld view by saying that transvestites are in the majority of cases unconscious homosexuals4 ,they may consciously lead a most normal life3 ,madame ,dieulafoy was married and apparently very devoted to her husband whom she followed on all his voyages of exploration4 ,unconsciously1 however1 and for reasons which we shall examine later1 transvestites crave a change of sex4 ,metatropism is masculine behavior in women1 feminine behavior in men4 ,normal man is physiologically aggressive in love1 normal woman is submissive4 ,in cases of metatropism1 those characteristics are reversed4 ,the ,metatropic ,man prefers tall1 strong1 powerful women1 often of a different nationality or race1 at times1 women with some physiological handicap1 lameness or deformity 7the ,french philosopher ,descartes was attracted to women suffering from strabism74 ,he generally selects a woman older than himself1 either very intellectual or very low ethically4 ,in one case he is dominated by her mental superiority1 in the other he feels that he is sacrificing his principles or his social standing4 ,professional or business women appeal to him especially4 ,he is often a shoe fetishist4 ,clothing which denotes power1 authority1 impresses him4 ,the ,metatropic ,woman seeks feminine1 beardless men1 with perhaps a good head of long hair 7poets1 artists74 ,madame ,dudevant1 the ,french novelist1 adopted the masculine name ,george ,sand and had affairs with two sickly artists1 ,musset1 the poet1 and ,chopin1 the composer4 ,the metatropic woman is often a professional or business woman who1 in her love relation1 assumes a very independent1 dictatorial attitude to men4 ,she favors young men whom she can dominate better4 ,in what ,hirschfeld calls metatropists1 we recognise parent-fixation men and women1 obsessed by a conscious or unconscious incest fear1 a complication which has been discussed in another chapter4 ,krafft-,ebing and ,albert ,eulenburg classify metatropic men with masochists 7see ,chapter ,,xx7 and metatropic women with sadists 7see ,chapter ,,xix74 ,dr4 ,steinach's ,experiments show the close relationship between homosexualism and the secretions of the interstitial cells of the genital glands4 ,after castrating young rats which1 after the operation1 remained in an infantile stage of development1 ,steinach transplanted into their inguinal region male or female gonads4 ,males into which female gonads had been implanted1 developed all the physical characteristics and all the mannerisms of the female1 paid no attention to females at mating time and1 on the contrary1 attracted the rutting males and were attracted to them4 ,castrated females in whose body he implanted testicles1 showed the hardier hair growth of males1 tried to mate with females and remained indifferent to males4 ,prof4 ,brandes1 director of the ,zoological ,garden in ,darmstadt1 has repeated those experiments on deer with identical results4 ,the female in which testicles were implanted behaved like a male and grew antlers4 ,the male's mammary glands grew very fast after the implantation of female gonads4 ,it is said that ,steinach has successfully transformed homosexuals into normal men but the last statement of his on the ,histology of the ,gonads in homosexual ,men1 7,vol4 #df1 ,no4 #a1 ,archiv fr ,entwickelungsmechanismus der ,organismen7 contains no mention of such results4 ,perverse ,birds4 ,if we now turn to experiments reported by ,william ,craig in the ,journal of ,animal ,behavior1 we see an apparently different process at work4 ,young male birds kept for a year in a cage with females and away from all males1 will at mating time ignore entirely the females1 and offer themselves to males in the mating position of the female4 ,the same process is observable in females brought up with males exclusively4 ,imitation in this case seems to give exactly the same results which ,steinach obtained thru castration and transplantation of gonads4 ,if we now leave the physiologists and consult the psychoanalysts1 ,freud1 ,ferenczi1 ,stekel and ,adler will show us that homosexualism can be produced by purely psychic factors4 ,freud ,rejects the ,hypothesis of a ,third ,sex3 ,homosexual men who have started in our times an energetic action against the legal limitations of the sexual activity1 ,freud writes1 are fond of representing themselves1 thru theoretical spokesmen1 as evincing a sexual variation1 which may be distinguished from the very beginning1 as an intermediate stage or sex1 a third sex4 ,in other words1 they maintain that they are men who are forced by organic determinants originating in the germ to find in a man the pleasure which they cannot find in a woman4 ,as much as one would wish to subscribe to their demands1 out of humane considerations1 one must nevertheless exercise reserve regarding their theories which were formulated without regard for the psychic genesis of homosexuality4 ,psychoanalysis offers the means to fill the gap and to put to test the assertions of the homosexuals4 ,it is true that psychoanalysis has fulfilled that task in only a small number of people1 but all the investigations thus far undertaken have brought the same surprising results4 ,in all our male homosexuals1 there was a very intense erotic attachment to a feminine person1 as a rule to the mother1 which was manifested in the very first period of childhood and later entirely forgotten by the individual4 ,this attachment was produced or favored by too much love from the mother herself1 but was also furthered by the retirement or absence of the father during the childhood period4 ,sadger emphasises the fact that the mothers of his homosexual patients were often masculine women1 or women with energetic traits of character who were able to crowd out the father from the place allotted to him in the family4 ,i have sometimes observed the same thing1 but ,i was more impressed by those cases in which the father was absent from the beginning or disappeared early so that the boy was altogether under feminine influence4 ,it almost seems that the presence of a strong father would assure for the son the proper decision in the selection of his love object from the opposite sex4 ,following this primary stage1 a transformation takes place whose mechanism we know but whose motive forces we have not yet grasped4 ,the love of the mother cannot continue to develop consciously so that it merges into repression4 ,the boy represses his love for the mother by putting himself into her place1 by identifying himself with her1 and by taking his own person as a model thru the similarity of which he is guided in the selection of his love object4 ,he thus becomes homosexual2 as a matter of fact1 he returns to the stage of autoerotism1 for the boys whom the growing adult now loves are only substitute persons or revivals of his own childish person1 whom he loves in the same way as his mother loved him4 ,we say that he finds his love object on the road to narcism1 after the ,greek legend of ,narcissus to whom nothing was more pleasing than his own mirrored image4 ,deeper psychological discussions justify the assertion that the person who becomes homosexual in this manner remains fixed in his unconscious on the memory of his mother4 ,by repressing the love for his mother1 he conserves the same in his consciousness and henceforth remains faithful to her4 ,when as a lover he seems to pursue boys1 he really thus runs away from women who could cause him to be faithless to his mother4 ,active and ,passive ,types4 ,ferenczi draws a distinction between the active and the passive types of homosexuals1 that is1 between the man who1 in love acts like a woman1 in a submissive way1 and the man who loves men as he would women1 in an agressive way4 ,a man who in his love relations with men feels himself to be a woman1 he writes1 is inverted in respect to his own ego 7homo-erotism thru subject inversion1 or1 more shortly1 subject-homo-erotism74 ,he feels himself to be a woman1 and this not only in the love relationship but in all relations of life4 ,it is quite otherwise with the true active homosexual4 ,he feels himself a man in every respect1 is as a rule very energetic and active1 and there in nothing effeminate to be discovered in his bodily or mental organisation4 ,the object of his inclination alone is exchanged1 so that one might call him homo-erotic thru exchange of the love object1 or more shortly1 object-homo-erotic4 ,a further and striking difference between the subjective and the objective homo-erotic consists in the fact that the former 7the invert7 feels himself attracted by more mature1 powerful men1 and is on friendly terms1 as a colleague1 one might say1 with women2 the second type1 on the contrary1 is almost exclusively interested in young1 delicate boys with an effeminate appearance1 but meets a woman with pronounced antipathy1 and not rarely with hatred which is badly or not at all concealed4 ,the true invert is hardly ever impelled to seek medical advice1 he feels at complete ease in the passive rle and has no other wish than that people should put up with his peculiarity and not interfere with the kind of satisfaction that suits him4 ,he is not very passionate and chiefly demands from his lover the recognition of his bodily and other merits4 ,the object-homo-erotic1 on the other hand1 is uncommonly tormented by the consciousness of his own abnormality2 sexual intercourse never completely satisfies him2 he is tortured by qualms of conscience and overestimates his sexual object to the uttermost4 ,the subject-homo-erotic is a member of the intermediate sex1 in the sense of ,magnus ,hirschfeld and his followers4 ,the object-homo-erotic1 is the victim of an obsessional neurosis4 ,the distinction between active and passive homosexuals is convenient but slightly arbitrary4 ,certain homosexuals are at times passive and at times active4 ,both types become at times the victims of obsessions and seek the help of psychotherapists4 ,active as well as passive homosexuals may be married and heterosexually potent4 ,the ,homosexual ,neurosis4 ,dr4 ,wilhelm ,stekel of ,vienna calls homosexualism the homosexual neurosis4 ,he summarises the genesis of homosexualism as follows3 ,as a child the homosexual is very precocious sexually and can only repress his cravings by developing fear1 hatred and disgust at the thought of heterosexual relations4 ,the result of that repression is a flight from normal into abnormal forms of sexual gratification4 ,a ,safety ,device4 ,to ,adler1 homosexualism is a detail of the neurotic picture1 a compromise and a safety device4 ,every neurotic1 he writes1 experiences at some time during his childhood doubts as to whether he will ever attain complete virility4 ,giving up the hope of being a real man1 is1 for a child1 synonymous with being a woman4 ,this carries in its wake a whole cycle of childish valuations3 aggression1 activity1 power1 freedom1 wealth1 sadism are male attributes2 inhibitions1 cowardice1 obedience1 poverty are female attributes4 ,the child plays for a while a dual part1 being submissive to his parents and teachers but indulging in dreams which express his craving for independence1 freedom and importance4 ,this duality in the child's psyche1 the forerunner of a split in his consciousness1 can have varying results in later years4 ,the individual will oscillate between the male and the female poles with a constant striving toward the unification of those two tendencies4 ,the masculine component prevents a complete assumption of the feminine rle1 the feminine component is an obstacle to complete virility4 ,hence a compromise3 feminine behavior thru masculine means3 a timid submissive male1 masculine masochism1 homosexuality4 ,or masculine behavior thru feminine devices4 ,above and ,below4 ,a series of comparisons has established itself in the human mind1 owing to the enslavement of the female by the male1 starting with the antithesis3 male-female3 good and bad1 right and left1 ,,high1 and ,,low1 ,,above and ,,below4 ,in every female neurotic1 according to ,adler1 there is a refusal to be a female1 that is1 to be ,,below 7socially as well as sexually74 ,the female who is inferior in looks or intelligence or position and cannot either compensate for that inferiority by displaying superiority in some other way 7artistic or scientific accomplishment71 or reconcile herself to her inferior position1 wishes consciously and unconsciously to be a man4 ,consciously she makes herself as masculine as possible4 ,unconsciously1 she dreams herself into a male personality1 physically1 mentally1 socially ,,and sexually4 ,her wish to be ,,above makes her play a man's part in love as well as in the world's life4 ,a ,way ,out4 ,homosexualism is1 like every neurotic symptom1 a way out of life's difficulties4 ,a male homosexual ,i treated associated the idea of woman with trouble1 sickness1 expense1 lack of freedom4 ,every woman was to him a leg puller1 a gold digger1 a liar1 insatiable in her demands1 spying on her husband1 constantly suffering from female trouble4 ,this man had never been married and his only sexual experiences1 which were of the most ephemeral type1 had been gained in the few hours of his life which he spent with a woman much older than himself1 a cabaret singer and a prostitute4 ,yet1 he was convinced that women are too much trouble4 ,an unconsciously homosexual male who is married1 and quite potent and who consulted me after a serious breakdown1 had a dream in which he saw himself at the top of a mountain in ,africa 7flight from reality and his present environment74 ,six large negroes 7powerful male sexuality7 carried away his wife's coffin1 7flight from the sexual partner74 ,a long line of negroes then walked past him and he felt that as long as he would be on friendly terms with them1 he would not want for anything 7line of least effort74 ,female homosexuals who had never had any normal heterosexual experience ranted along the same line of thought3 ,a husband is too much trouble4 ,the idea of submitting to a brute of a man1 ,i don't wish to be a slave to a man1 etc4 ,all this voices what ,adler terms the masculine protest4 ,the ,escape from ,biological ,duties4 ,kempf also considers homosexualism as a compromise and a convenient escape from biological duties4 ,heterosexual potency1 he writes judging from the behavior of many psychopaths and normals of both sexes1 varies in its vigor and is never quite secure from the possibility of disintegration in the face of depressing influences1 such as disease1 a frigid1 unkind1 terrifying1 neurotic or disgusting mate1 hopeless economic burdens1 fear of pregnancy1 or venereal diseases1 social scandals1 an inaccessible or unresponsive love-object1 death of the mate or a too fixed mother-attachment4 ,the intrigues and usurpations of power by the family of the mate1 suppressing the idealised wishes of the individual1 often cause the regression to the lower level of homo-sexuality1 where1 at least1 parental sacrifices need not be made4 ,,chapter ,,xviii ,,homosexualism1 ,a ,,neurotic ,,symptom ,the varying views as to the genesis of homosexualism1 which ,i have attempted to summarise in the preceding chapter1 can be easily reconciled4 ,doubts as to one's completeness and a craving for safety may1 even at an early age1 cause the gonads to remain undeveloped or to develop in the wrong direction4 ,craig's pigeons were as completely perverted by the wrong environment as ,steinach's rats by surgical operations4 ,hirschfeld's intermediate sex1 in its concealed forms1 that is1 when the individual1 upon gross examination1 appears normal1 may well be produced by the environment4 ,freud's ,oedipus situation is not incompatible with ,adler's theory of the neurotic constitution4 ,gonads are not different from any other glands4 ,thyroid involvement may produce fear or1 at least1 a picture of fear 7exophthalmic goitre71 but fear also produces many forms of thyroid involvement 7goitre and exophthalmic goitre were alarmingly frequent in ,french towns submitted to bombardment during the world war74 ,a study of psychic impotence in men and frigidity in women has proved that impotence was mainly a refusal to be a potent man1 frigidity a refusal to be woman in intercourse4 ,in certain cases1 exaggerated cravings for impotence or frigidity may modify the gonads so completely that they present the condition ,hirschfeld has called typical of the intermediate sex4 ,homosexualism can be best understood when viewed as a neurotic phenomenon1 not as a neurosis in itself1 but as a detail of the neurotic attitude to life outlined by ,adler4 ,homosexualism is1 in its last analysis1 an organic striving away from life's normal goals4 ,a ,denial of ,life4 ,homosexualism cannot be understood unless we associate it with a denial of life and all its duties4 ,nor could love be understood if we tried to dissociate it from its primary sexual goal which is the acceptance of life with its duties1 symbolised by the procreation of life and the creation of new duties by the individual1 duties which he considers as a source of joy4 ,homosexualism ,is ,love1 ,negative ,love1 quite as involuntary and as obsessive as normal1 heterosexual1 positive love4 ,a homosexual teacher wrote to ,plazek3 ,a glance at the literature and art produced by homosexuals as well as insight into actual conditions1 reveals that abnormal love can conjure up the same emotional display as normal love4 ,longing1 faithfulness1 devotion1 self sacrifice1 blossom forth in abnormal love as well as in normal love4 ,in both1 complete communion may be the goal and climax of feelings which are perhaps among the deepest and finest which mankind can experience4 ,their ,love ,letters4 ,the absolute similarity of heterosexual and homosexual love in their written expression can be judged by perusing the sonnets which ,michael ,angelo wrote to young ,tommaso dei ,cavalieri and which could very well have been addressed to a woman4 ,a sober scientist like ,winckelman was carried away by his homosexual love for ,frederick von ,berg to the point of writing the following epistle which might emanate from a lovelorn highschool boy3 ,all the names ,i might call you are not sweet enough and do not do justice to my love4 ,all the things ,i might say to you sound too weak to give voice to my heart and my soul4 ,i love you1 my dearest1 more than the whole world and neither time nor circumstances nor age could ever cause my love to diminish4 ,deeds of ,violence4 ,homosexual love has led to as many deeds of violence on the part of disappointed lovers as heterosexual love4 ,the papers frequently publish without comments stories of the shooting of a woman by another woman1 caused by the fact that the victim was too attentive to another woman4 ,psychiatrists who can read between the lines recognise in those murders the result of homosexual jealousy and infidelity4 ,in that respect the behavior of the two sexes seems slightly different4 ,it is well known1 remarks ,havelock ,ellis1 that the part taken by women generally in open criminality1 and especially in crimes of violence1 is small as compared with men4 ,in the homosexual the conditions are to some extent reversed4 ,inverted men1 in whom a more or less feminine temperament is so often found1 are rarely impelled to acts of aggressive violence1 though they frequently commit suicide4 ,inverted women1 who may retain their feminine emotionality combined with some degree of infantile impulsiveness and masculine energy1 present a favorable soil for the seeds of passional crime1 under those conditions of jealousy and allied emotions which must so often enter the invert's life4 ,a ,homosexual ,tragedy4 ,in a recent case in ,chicago a homosexual woman shot her former roommate and then seriously wounded herself4 ,they had roomed together and last fall the victim broke off the life together because the invert was too affectionate4 ,the victim went to her parents' house in the ,south to get rid of the invert4 ,on her return to ,chicago two months later she was bothered by the invert who insisted that she room with her4 ,on ,april #bb;d she received a letter from the invert containing a bullet and a threat4 ,alarmed1 she had the invert arrested1 but the invert was discharged on promise she would not annoy the girl4 ,the invert had a number of swagger sticks1 one of which she carried each day4 ,there is no account of her masculinity of attire4 ,she wrote poems to her victim and made her presents including a diamond ring and a diamond studded watch1 all of which were returned4 ,there had been several threats of killing the victim1 before the letter came1 if she ended the friendship4 ,women ,more ,homosexual than ,men4 ,remembering how the mother's fetishes affect us in the choice of a sexual mate we may expect to find more homosexualism in woman than in man4 ,the facts bear up our theory4 ,while the gross forms of homosexualism are less frequent among women1 a thousand mild forms of it are observable in the behavior of even apparently very normal women4 ,the sentimental attachments of school girls for certain teachers1 the pleasure which they derive from spending nights with some friend on whom they have a crush1 the thousand and one bodily caresses female friends shower on each other1 the curiosity they manifest about each other's physical condition1 their frequent bed room or bathroom conferences1 are manifestations of a mild homosexualism1 which1 however1 do not always lead to overt acts4 ,boastfulness4 ,many homosexuals compensate for the scorn meted out to them by normal individuals with a certain proud boastfulness4 ,we are supermen1 one hears them say when they find a sympathetic listener1 we have reached beyond the usual1 boresome1 bourgeois form of gratification4 ,our intellect is nauseated by woman's silliness4 ,and the females say in their turn3 ,we are super-women1 we have conquered the fear of man and we are tired of man's boorish ways4 ,some of the male homosexuals who are bisexual1 that is1 can also be attracted by women1 pride themselves over the mentality of the women they love4 ,men have accustomed us to a higher intellectual level and to a more intelligent form of conversation1 a homosexual said to me4 ,this is naturally a defence mechanism4 ,by demanding extremely high qualification from the women1 homosexuals have a ready excuse for consorting with men exclusively4 ,famous ,homosexuals4 ,homosexuals are fond of mentioning all the men famous in art and letters whose sexual life was inverted3 the ,greek philosophers1 poets and playwrights of the classic age1 ,julius ,csar1 ,alexander the ,great1 ,michael ,angelo1 ,leonardo da ,vinci1 ,frederick of ,prussia1 ,shakespeare1 ,oscar ,wilde1 ,nietzsche1 etc4 ,the ,nietzsche-,wagner ,feud should be rewritten from a psychiatrist's point of view4 ,wagner was to young ,nietzsche an attractive1 heroic1 father-image4 ,the philosopher never had any real affair of the heart with a woman4 ,he only indulged in very ephemeral relationships which1 by their disastrous results1 drove him further away from women4 7,dr4 ,w4 ,h4 ,white of ,washington received the assurance while in ,europe that ,nietzsche died of syphilis47 ,nietzsche made himself obnoxious to ,wagner by trying to be his press agent4 ,as ,wagner1 however1 a shrewd business man in his old days1 objected to ,nietzsche's agnosticism and to his friendship with certain ,jews1 ,nietzsche1 disappointed in his love1 abandoned ,wagner and hated him fiercely4 ,he attacked him on every occasion1 his hatred being made the fiercer by the fact that he himself considered himself as a greater composer1 one line in ,nietzsche's letters throws a strange light upon the poor paretic's feelings4 ,wagner's feminine traits he wrote1 finally disgusted him4 ,shall ,perverse ,love ,be ,recognized8 ,efforts are being made in various directions at the present day to have homosexual love legally recognised and given perfect equality with heterosexual love4 ,in ,germany1 a number of writers1 ,von ,kupfer1 ,friedlander and others have boldly championed that futile attempt4 ,a cinema film was produced last year 7#aiba7 in ,berlin depicting the plight of the homosexual who is unable to control his cravings and falls a victim to the wiles of a blackmailer4 ,dr4 ,magnus ,hirschfeld agreed to impersonate in that production the scientist who attempts to enlighten the public as to the nature of homosexualism1 so as to bring about a modification of the statute punishing perverts4 ,man's ,emancipation4 ,in #aijj1 ,elizar von ,kupfer called upon the men to proclaim their independence from women4 ,the man who lives in bondage to women1 he wrote1 and who humors her whims1 has lost his manhood4 ,since woman is emancipating herself1 why should not men follow the same road8 ,illogically enough1 ,von ,kupfer defends the mothers and wives1 flowers who should not be rooted out of the garden of love4 ,in ,schopenhauer's silly outbursts against woman1 however1 ,von ,kupfer sees a test of manhood revolting against man's humiliation and he adds that it is only from the closest relation of man to man1 adolescent to man1 and adolescent to adolescent1 that government and civilisation will derive real power4 ,blher considers homosexualism as an essential human trait which must be granted an outlet with certain restrictions 7setting the age of consent at fourteen and forbidding the use of violence74 ,benedikt ,friedlander1 in his ,renaissance des ,eros ,uranios suggests bringing ancient and modern culture into harmony with each other by reviving the ,greek ,eros and overthrowing the monopoly which woman has1 of being loved and beautiful4 ,removing the legal penalties which punish overt homosexual acts is one thing4 ,recognising homosexualism is an entirely different proposition4 ,punishing a typhoid fever patient would be absurd1 but typhoid fever sufferers should not be allowed to remain at large without treatment4 ,homosexualism is a neurotic trait which should be eradicated1 if possible1 by analytic treatment4 ,hopeless cases1 on the other hand should be protected against their instincts by a form of confinement which would be neither punitive nor more humiliating than the confinement imposed upon sufferers from contagious diseases4 ,homosexualism and the ,war4 ,homosexualism has been on the increase since the war4 ,stekel reports many gruesome cases of husbands who1 until they went to the barracks and the trenches1 where their unconscious homosexualism found an unusual stimulation1 were normal in their attitude to their wives1 and who returned after the armistice absolutely inverted and unable to give or receive normal gratification4 ,the bobbed hair craze has many good excuses4 ,bobbed hair is kept tidy more easily than long tresses and can be dried quicker after a shampoo4 ,at the same time1 when we consider that the boyish type of women became fashionable about the same time when short hair did1 and that soon after the war1 advertising boards were covered with the praise of devices enabling women to conceal their natural curves1 we must consider both fashions as symptomatic of an increase in homosexualism4 ,we might also mention another fashion detail3 while dressmakers were trying their best to obliterate their customers breasts1 they would bare entirely their backs4 ,anyone familiar with the symbolism and dreams of homosexuals will understand the import of that style of dresses4 ,is ,homosexualism ,necessary8 ,dr4 ,otto ,gross1 without openly countenancing homosexualism1 holds that a certain proportion of it is necessary in man's makeup for a mutual understanding of both sexes4 ,we can only understand1 he writes1 what we have experienced4 ,unless a man has a decided feminine trend1 he is not likely to understand a woman1 or to live with her harmoniously and vice versa4 ,a consideration of the purely physical side of love lends a slight plausibility to that view4 ,unless a man can clearly imagine love's pleasure as experienced by a woman1 he may not be able to vouchsafe her complete gratification4 ,the progress of civilisation certainly demands that men become less masculine 7translate3 boorish7 and women less feminine 7meaning3 silly74 ,we could not tolerate1 however1 what ,friedlnder called a ,renaissance of ,eros ,uranios1 leading to the conditions which obtained in ,greece where men1 while consorting with other men1 were also potent with women4 ,no parallel can be drawn between ,greek culture and modern culture4 ,hellenic culture was decidedly masculine1 women being solely tools of lust1 or beasts of burden1 or means of proliferation4 ,as ,i will show in another chapter1 one really modern woman can give to the modern man what ,demosthenes sought in three kinds of women1 a prostitute1 a concubine and a wife1 not to count a male mistress4 ,what is ,really ,needed is a better understanding of homosexualism by the public and by the homosexuals4 ,after which1 homosexuals1 no longer despised and punished for their obsessive cravings1 and no longer proud of their condition1 will be given sympathy and treatment1 voluntary or compulsory4 ,psychoanalysts will remove their complexes and lead them toward a positive goal2 surgeons1 performing on them some of ,steinach's operations1 may raise their heterosexual potency to the point at which no doubt will obsess them any longer4 ,those things will avail little1 however1 until parents watch their offspring carefully to discover in them the first symptoms of a homosexual trend and adopt ways and means to prevent the growth of the neurosis4 ,we may for convenience quote ,hirschfeld's description of the homosexual child1 a very superficial one1 indeed1 sufficient1 however1 to cause the average parent to seek psychological and medical advice before it is too late and before mental and physical habits have compromised1 perhaps hopelessly1 the love life of their children4 ,the homosexual boy prefers girls' games1 shuns boys' games1 is girlish in disposition and behavior1 if not in appearance4 ,people often say that he is like a girl4 ,he is happy in the company of girls4 ,he has a psychic fixation on his mother4 ,he is reserved and embarrassed before other boys4 ,he often becomes unduly attached to a male teacher or a schoolmate4 ,the homosexual girl prefers boys' games1 does not care for sewing or other feminine occupations1 is boyish in her disposition1 her motions1 often in her appearance4 ,people call her a tomboy4 ,she likes to romp with boys4 ,she is overattached to her father4 ,she shows embarrassment in the presence of other girls4 ,she often falls madly in love with a female teacher or some older woman4 ,,chapter ,,xix ,,cruelty ,,and ,,love4 ,,sadism ,in normal individuals the idea of love is inseparably associated with tenderness1 caressing gestures1 words or glances1 readiness on the part of either mate to go to extremes in order to enhance the loved one's enjoyment of the amorous relationship1 or to protect him against all dangers or suffering4 ,in normal individuals1 love and suffering are antithetic terms1 love meaning joy and pleasure1 7sexual and egotistical71 suffering being only conceivable when the craving for love is ungratified1 when the lonely lovers are parted by life1 when one of them has been robbed by death of his mate1 etc4 ,algolagnists4 ,there are abnormal human beings1 however1 known technically as algolagnists 7from algos1 pain1 and lagneia1 enjoyment71 who cannot imagine or enjoy love when it is entirely dissociated from some form of suffering4 ,the active algolagnists must inflict some pain1 physical or mental1 upon their mate in order to enjoy the pleasures of love to their full extent4 ,the passive algolagnists only attain the highest degree of amorous satisfaction when they are submitted by their mate to painful or humiliating treatment4 ,active algolagnists are known more commonly as sadists1 an expression created by ,moreau de ,tours4 ,krafft-,ebing1 the most famous writer on sexual perversions coined for passive algolagnists the expression masochists4 ,the word sadist is derived from the name of ,marquis de ,sade1 a ,french pervert of the eighteenth century1 whose life and writings well illustrate the form of love which is constantly associated with acts of cruelty4 ,donatien ,alphonse ,franois de ,sade was born in ,paris1 ,june #b #agdj1 the offspring of an aristocratic family of ,provence4 ,among his ancestors was the ,laura of ,petrarca's sonnets4 ,at fourteen1 he joined a cavalry regiment4 ,he went thru the ,seven ,years ,war during which he witnessed the most ruthless atrocities4 ,on his return1 at the age of twenty-seven1 he married1 but soon after his marriage was arrested for some deed of cruelty committed in a house of prostitution4 ,his father's death left him heir to an important government position but his life of excesses gave him little time to attend to his duties4 ,at twenty-eight1 he attracted much attention by a scandal in which he played a prominent part4 ,he lured a shopkeeper's wife1 ,rose ,keller to a house in the suburbs of the ,french capital where he used to hold revels4 ,threatening the woman with a pistol1 he bound her hands and feet and whipped her to the blood4 ,the next morning1 ,rose ,keller managed to free herself1 jumped out of the window and summoned help4 ,de ,sade was arrested but the affair was soon hushed up by powerful friends at the court of ,louis the ,fifteenth4 ,that incident is characteristic of sadism in love's relations4 ,his victim's sufferings supplied ,de ,sade with the artificial stimulation which normal desire would produce in a normal man4 ,soon after this1 ,de ,sade eloped to ,italy with his wife's sister4 ,on his way to ,italy1 he stopped in ,marseille and organized an orgy in the course of which he gorged his guests with candy containing some poisonous aphrodisiac drug4 ,two of them died4 ,this time1 a court rendered a death sentence against the murderous pervert1 who eluded the police for a time and was finally confined in the fortress of ,vincennes for thirteen years4 ,it was said at the time that a woman had been found in a house where he indulged in all sorts of debauches1 unconscious and bleeding from a hundred scalpel wounds which had severed many veins4 ,de ,sade devoted his enforced leisure to writing4 ,his published works fill up ten volumes4 ,they contain a description of the most atrocious sexual cruelties4 ,the author makes a childish attempt at establishing a satanic morality based on the fact that virtue is always punished by the world and vice always rewarded4 ,his atheism is no more than a satanic ritual4 ,de ,sade's literary output1 which is devoid of any artistic merit and is only of interest to the student of abnormal psychology1 bears the stamp of hopeless intellectual inferiority trying to justify itself by representing the entire world as a combination of a brothel and a torture chamber and mankind as a herd of blood-thirsty and sex-crazed lunatics4 ,a sinister autobiography and wish fulfilment4 ,the revolutionists of #aghi who opened the doors of all jails and insane asylums gave ,de ,sade his freedom on ,july #ad4 ,he sided politically with his deliverers but after a while1 became suspicious to them and again spent one year in prison 7#agic-agid74 ,what ,bonaparte ,thought of ,him4 ,de ,sade1 who had been very liberal in presenting free copies of his obscene novels to men prominent in the days of the ,revolution and the ,terror1 made the mistake of sending a set of his works to ,bonaparte4 ,the ,corsican caused the entire edition to be suppressed and diagnosed the author very accurately as a murderous pervert1 unfit to be at large4 ,de ,sade was committed to an insane asylum where he remained until his death on ,december #b1 #ahad4 ,sadism is a morbid phenomenon which remained mysterious until recently1 when the experimental work of physiologists like ,cannon1 ,sherrington and others1 revealed to us the close connection existing between mental states1 muscular tensions and the secretions of ductless glands of the body4 ,adler's individual psychology also has thrown much light upon many morbid actions which are simply attempts at compensation for a feeling of inferiority4 ,the neurotic1 briefly speaking1 feels inferior1 that is1 afraid of some imaginary danger4 ,he casts about for something which can be done quickly1 simply1 with the least effort1 and which will restore his peace and safety by filling him1 were it only temporarily1 with a sense of actual or imaginary superiority4 ,glandular ,drunkenness4 ,wulffen suggests an interpretation of sadism which is ingenious but unconvincing4 ,he considers every act of violence as provoked by the faulty functioning of some glands4 ,he compares the effect of the gonadal hormones 7one of the secretions of the sex glands issuing from the interstitial cells7 with that of alcohol4 ,alcohol destroys the inhibitions and allows unconscious cravings of an inacceptable sort to express themselves thru overt acts4 ,the drunken man loses all shame and all fear1 becomes boisterous and1 at times1 murderous4 ,likewise1 ,wulffen says1 oversecretion of the gonadal hormones creates a sort of sexual drunkenness in the course of which the individual is forced into violent or cruel behavior4 ,this would be acceptable if all the sadists were strong healthy specimens of manhood and womanhood4 ,most of them1 on the contrary1 show plainly signs of glandular insufficiency4 ,wulffen's thesis is not confirmed as some writers assume by a study of the mating habits of many animals4 ,cocks during the act of mating peck cruelly the back of the hen's head4 ,tomcats bite the necks of their mates4 ,toads1 at times1 choke the female to death in their clinging embrace4 ,in those acts of animal cruelty there is probably another element to be considered4 ,the tomcat1 digging his teeth into the female cat's neck1 may not so much relieve his sadistic impulses as produce in his mate some welcome sensation of pleasurable pain4 ,we know how willingly the most rebellious cats allow any one to grab them by the backs of their necks1 making no effort at freeing themselves and apparently enjoying that partial strangulation4 7,remember the aphrodisiac influence of hanging47 ,atavism4 ,eulenburg considers that sadism is an atavistic trait4 ,not only animals1 he says1 but primitive races associate mating with violence4 ,the caveman is supposed to have beaten the female he captured into insensibility before dragging her to his cave4 ,we do not know1 however1 whether it was ,,the caveman or ,,some cavemen who indulged in that practice1 the existence of which may be merely a subject for speculation4 ,it goes without saying that whenever females were carried off by victorious tribes after armed conflicts the wooing of the captives must have been synonymous with violence and rape4 ,old documents offer many examples of the combination of love and violence4 ,there is the old legend of ,griseldis in which a sadistic man tested in the cruellest way the woman who was to be his life mate4 ,the epic poem ,gudrun recites one of the prehistoric struggles between male and female4 ,the unfortunate male in this case is overpowered by the ,nordic ,valkyrie who binds him with her girdle and keeps him lashed to the wall till morning4 ,the modern honeymoon trip is undoubtedly a survival of the primeval habit of carrying off the bride4 ,primitive ,religions constantly associate sadism with love4 ,in fact the ,goddess of ,love1 in the ,greek mythology1 owed her existence to an act of sadism4 ,kronos' male organ1 cut off by his ,zeus1 fell into the sea1 fertilized it1 and ,aphrodite was born4 ,many primitive gods demanded the sacrifice of virgins1 primitive goddesses decapitated or castrated men with whom at times they consorted4 ,the priests and priestesses of certain religions could only please their gods by submitting to sexual indignities1 the priestesses of ,cybelea prostituting themselves to every one1 the priests castrating themselves4 ,some of those acts of violence1 however1 must be considered from an entirely different point of view4 ,in ,primitive ,races real achievement was always associated with violence4 ,the real man was the victorious fighter and killer4 ,even in ,roman days1 gladiator duels terminated with the death of the defeated man1 unless he were a popular ring idol whom the mob saved for further encounters4 ,the robber1 designated by more flattering names1 of course1 gained more glory by stealing goods or gold than the merchant who1 in ways more socially acceptable1 accumulated goods and gold4 ,civilisation has changed those things4 ,in neurotic states1 however1 we always observe a return to archaic modes of action which are more direct4 ,we nowadays kill off a competitor thru advertising4 ,instead of levying tribute on the defeated rival1 we compel him to sell out to us at our price1 etc4 ,the neurotic kills or steals1 as archaic heroes did4 ,animal ,love ,fights4 ,also1 as far as animals are concerned1 the more or less playful fights with which they prelude their mating is not1 as ,wulffen suggests1 due to gonadal drunkenness4 ,on the contrary1 it is meant to produce a stronger outpouring of gonadal secretions in both male and female1 thereby increasing the energy of the male and assuring the pregnancy of the female4 ,fights preceding animal mating increase1 among other things1 the secretions of the adrenal cortex which impart to all the muscles 7among them the sexual muscles7 a considerable tension4 ,let us bear in mind that physiological detail while interpreting the fact that many neurotics are only potent sexually with women who resist them4 ,we see how a certain amount of struggle1 producing perhaps slight anger 7and possibly leading to acts of violence71 would strengthen the sexual faculties of the weak neurotic and enable him to possess his mate4 ,from that type of neurotic1 who requires glandular excitement of the adrenal type1 to the sadist1 typified by the famous ,marquis1 and up to the ,ripper who disembowels his victims we see merely a series of gradations in glandular insufficiency1 not as ,wulffen said1 in glandular hyper-secretion4 ,a ,neurotic ,trait4 ,furthermore1 sadism should not be considered as a phenomenon of purely sexual character4 ,sadism is merely a detail of the neurotic make up4 ,it is one of the neurotic short cuts whereby an inferior individual acquires a temporary superiority4 ,the section foreman who takes pleasure in driving his men at a killing pace1 the detective engaged daily in the task of man hunting1 the so-called strict parent who beats his children1 the surgeon who never tires of performing operations1 the futile reformer who is constantly trying to deprive some one of some form of enjoyment1 the jealous husband who deprives his wife of many pleasures1 the jealous wife who relishes the thought that her husband is giving up his club or his former associates for her sake1 are sadists1 some of them partly normal and useful1 some of them morbid or ridiculous4 ,the ,mob4 ,sadism is one of the great mob characteristics4 ,why do we run to fires and to the scene of an accident8 ,to help8 ,no4 ,to enjoy the sight of some one's life or property being destroyed4 ,if our impulses were humane or charitable we should be relieved1 nay exultant1 when we learn that the conflagration has only destroyed a curtain or a shade1 when we see the man bowled over by a taxi getting up and walking away1 little the worse for the experience4 ,notice on the contrary the indignation of the average man when the fire does not amount to anything1 when the victim of an accident escapes unharmed4 ,is the ,male ,more ,cruel8 ,it has been said that sadism was a masculine trait1 masochism a feminine characteristic4 ,like the majority of generalisations on the subject of sex differences1 it is inaccurate4 ,man1 the hunter1 is more aggressive in love1 but his aggressiveness need not include cruelty4 ,his strength1 in modern life1 is put to quite a different use1 to protect the weaker female1 not to overwhelm her4 ,woman is supposed to be more submissive but mythology1 legend and history present to us thousands of cases in which the female of the human species betrayed many sadistic instincts1 not infrequently associated with her love activities4 ,even in the animal world1 while we behold males apparently submitting the female to much suffering1 we find not a few cases1 for instance in the insect world1 of females killing or even devouring their mate immediately after the love communion4 ,,chapter ,,xx ,,love ,,that ,,craves ,,suffering4 ,,masochism ,the man whom ,krafft-,ebing selected as the typical masochist1 ,leopold von ,sacher-,masoch1 was born in ,lemberg1 ,january #bg1 #ahcf4 ,he was extremely frail in infancy and childhood4 ,he compensated for his physical inferiority thru unusual mental activity1 for at the age of nineteen he won his degree of doctor of law4 ,at twenty he was appointed instructor in ,german history at an university4 ,at the age of twenty-five he was the author of several books of history4 ,he then turned to fiction1 first of the historical and then of the purely psychological type4 ,a morbid tendency was observable in his very first books1 a tendency which became more and more marked and which led him to write almost exclusively descriptions of perverse love entanglements4 ,he showed a decided preference for delineating cruel1 mannish types of women and incredibly weak types of men4 ,as in the case of ,marquis de ,sade1 we observe here a strange parallelism between the man's writings and his own biography4 ,sacher-,masoch's first love was a woman much older than himself1 ,anna von ,kattowitz1 who for four years humiliated1 insulted and victimised him in every possible way1 finally running away with a ,russian adventurer4 ,then he met ,princess ,bogdanoff for whom he abandoned temporarily his professional and literary ambitions4 ,she took him to ,italy where he was compelled to serve her as a secretary and valet4 ,he enjoyed the relationship1 but the princess soon tired of him4 ,his next liaison was with ,baroness ,fanny ,pistor1 with whom he had his picture taken once in the following position3 she seated on a sofa and clad in furs1 he kneeling at her feet on the floor4 ,then came ,baroness ,reizenstein1 whom he could not love very long for she refused to satisfy his morbid craving for physical torture and humiliating treatment and1 besides1 was homosexual4 ,then he became engaged to a young artist1 ,miss ,bauerfeld1 of ,graz4 ,soon after1 however1 he met an ugly1 mannish hysterical person1 ,vanda ,dunayef1 who gratified better his perverse leanings and compelled him to break his engagement4 ,a child was born of their union and in #ahgc they were married4 ,they traveled from town to town1 apparently unable to find peace anywhere1 and she finally left him to elope with a reporter from the ,paris ,figaro4 ,sacher-,masoch secured a divorce and married again1 this time a motherly type of woman1 ,hulda ,meister1 retired with her to the small village of ,lindheim and died there on ,march #i1 #ahie4 ,a few incidents of his life describe well his perversion4 ,love of the ,whip4 ,once1 according to ,havelock ,ellis1 in the course of an innocent romp in which the whole household took part1 ,sacher-,masoch asked his wife to whip him4 ,she refused4 ,then he suggested the maid should do it4 ,his wife did not take this seriously1 but he had the servant whip him to his full enjoyment4 ,when his wife urged that it would not be possible to keep the maid after this1 ,sacher-,masoch agreed and she was discharged4 ,he constantly found pleasure in placing his wife in awkward or compromising circumstances1 a pleasure she was too normal to share4 ,this led to much domestic unhappiness4 ,against her wish he persuaded her to whip him with whips to which nails were attached4 ,this he claimed was a literary stimulus4 ,dr4 ,eulenburg tells of a young woman with whom ,sacher-,masoch corresponded for a while and to whom he wrote that his greatest joy would be to be whipped by a woman4 ,later on1 ,sacher-,masoch met her in ,vienna and asked her to don a fur coat and to whip him4 ,she however1 pretended to treat the matter as a joke1 and dismissed him4 ,his numerous books of fiction present over and over again the same theme3 the domineering woman1 clad in furs1 who tortures a weak helpless man4 ,we behold in ,sacher-,masoch a clear case of physical weakness and glandular insufficiency4 ,his endocrines1 in particular his adrenals and gonads1 required the actual stimulation of pain 7whipping7 before they could react properly to a sexual stimulus4 ,it is a curious coincidence that among all forms of stimulation used to accelerate the gait of beasts of burden or draft horses1 the whip is the most commonly used the world over and that1 on the other hand1 perverts of the masochist type have1 the world over and at every age of history1 more frequently resorted to the whip to torture themselves than to any other means of physical punishment4 ,the ,masochist is ,like a ,weak or ,tired ,horse4 ,why does whipping make a horse go faster8 ,not merely on account of the fear or pain which the beast experiences1 but because that fear and pain ,,make ,,him ,,stronger4 ,the adrenalin liberated by the fear-and-pain-producting stimulus stiffens every muscle in his body and his strength is doubled4 ,this is why frightened animals or insane people in a panic can perform feats of strength of which they would be absolutely incapable in a normal state4 ,masochism is much more1 however1 than an organic attempt at compensating for glandular inferiority and acquiring in a morbid way increased sexual potency4 ,it is a neurotic expedient whereby an inferior man or woman compensates for his or her weakness thru more weakness4 ,by belittling themselves1 by disparaging their own ability1 masochist lovers can take advantage of their mate1 let him bear all responsibilities4 ,shoe ,fetishism4 ,we understand from that point of view the meaning of the shoe fetishism which ,krafft-,ebing has noticed in male masochists4 ,in fact ,hirschfeld states that every male shoe fetish is a masochist4 ,to the masochist1 the shoe1 especially the high buttoned shoe1 is symbolical of woman's power1 of her ruthless cruelty4 ,he sees himself trod on by that shoe1 he imagines that shoe pressing on his neck1 pinning his head to the ground4 ,curiously enough1 long gloves seem to arouse the same ideas in the mind of the male masochist4 ,both shoes and gloves are found in the dreams or visions of neurotics1 symbolizing the female organs4 ,a masochist wrote once3 ,the gloved hand of a woman1 altho like her foot1 smaller and prettier than a man's1 can wield the whip powerfully over her slave whose greatest joy consists then in kissing his mistress's shoes while submitting to that punishment4 ,craving for ,humiliation4 ,the masochist welcomes every form of humiliation and not infrequently derives great pride from his patience1 tolerance1 self-sacrifice1 martyrlike resignation etc4 ,like ,sacher-,masoch himself1 some men1 husbands or lovers1 7pimps1 cadets1 etc47 have been known to enjoy the sight of their wife or mistress in another man's arms4 ,hirschfeld was consulted by a woman whose husband compelled her at frequent intervals to have relations with a man in his own house4 ,he would invite a business associate for dinner and then leave his wife to explain that he had been suddenly called out of town4 ,the guest and his wife would dine together4 ,wine would flow freely and she would coquettishly goad the man into making advances to her4 ,concealed in the next room1 the husband would watch thru a peep hole the proceedings which ended with a passionate scene4 ,it was only after beholding that humiliating sight that the masochistic husband could enjoy his wife's embraces4 ,a man who consulted me confessed to me that he was absolutely impotent with his own wife or with any unmarried woman4 ,it was only with married women that he felt perfectly virile4 ,the thought of his mistress in her husband's arms was the only thing that could arouse him physically4 ,many neurotics of the masochistic type have dreams of being school children punished by a masculine female teacher4 ,those dreams1 be they night or day dreams1 are always associated with erotic thoughts4 ,remember ,jean ,jacques ,rousseau enjoying viciously the spankings which mademoiselle ,lambercier gave him when a child4 ,masochists1 male or female1 are often very anxious to perform menial or disgusting tasks for the person they love1 thus placing themselves in a subordinate1 protected1 position and at the same time1 claiming a great deal of credit for their devotion4 ,masochistic ,fancies4 ,the male masochist1 eager to place himself in the position of safety toward his mate1 not infrequently imagines himself to be an animal and asks to be treated as such4 ,greek antiquity has bequeathed to us the story of ,aristotle the philosopher1 allowing a prostitute to ride on his back1 whipping him like a horse1 while he would crawl about on all fours4 ,medical literature contains many descriptions of establishments where male masochists are submitted to voluntary torture thru various appliances4 ,the ascetics who in the ,middle ,ages whipped themselves1 wore hair cloth studded with sharp nails1 etc41 to manifest their love to ,god or the ,virgin1 the ,russian ,skooptsy who mutilate themselves to please ,god1 are religious examplaries of masochistic love4 ,the ,christian ideal of suffering and renunciation as a means of conquering everlasting happiness is also purely masochistic4 ,suffering1 be it physical or mental 7remorse71 assures to them in the end1 well-being 7glandular well-being7 and enables them to reach ,heaven 7will-to-be-above74 ,are ,women ,masochistic8 ,i denied in the preceding chapter the frequently heard assertion that sadism in a typically masculine trait4 ,i would deny quite as emphatically that masochism is peculiarly feminine1 a view held by many sadists1 as an attempted justification of their cruel perversion4 ,oscar ,wilde1 a bisexual1 stated once that of all the masculine traits it was cruelty which women appreciated most4 ,to his morbid mind cruelty meant power4 ,it is power of course which woman1 disabled several times in her life by pregnancy and lactation1 seeks in the man with whom she mates4 ,he must be a good fighter and a good hunter1 not1 however1 merely to capture her and brutalise her1 but on the contrary1 to protect her and feed her4 ,the sadist ,kurnberger in his novel1 ,the ,castle of ,horrors also bids us believe that man's greatest victory1 appreciated as such by woman1 consists in making a woman suffer1 in bringing tears to her eyes1 in outtalking and outwitting her1 a victory compared to which1 he says1 ,marengo and ,austerlitz look like thirty cents4 ,and the sadistic ,nietzsche puts in the mouth of an old woman in his ,zarathustra the following statement3 when you go to women1 don't forget to take your whip4 ,other sadists remind us of the ,russian woman's wail that her husband's love must be cooling off1 because he hasn't beaten her in an age4 ,barring a number of exceptions1 the fact remains that masochism in women is as abnormal as masochism in men1 or sadism in men or women4 ,women ,who ,enjoy a ,beating4 ,there are women who enjoy unconsciously being beaten by their husbands1 much as they may resent the outrage consciously4 ,they are in every case hypothyroid and hypoadrenal types in whom the distribution of energy and the emergency production of energy are very subnormal4 ,nothing but a violent stimulus1 physical or mental1 whipping or insult1 can make them feel strong and active4 ,the dreams of those women1 like those of masochistic men1 are often of the nightmarish type4 ,they suffer in their night visions all sorts of torture4 ,analysis brings out the fact that every detail of those dreams is associated with energy1 achievement1 etc4 ,de ,sade's wife belonged evidently to the masochistic type4 ,she remained faithful to him to the end in spite of his perverse life1 his prison record and the fact that he deceived her with her own sister4 ,her life of sorrow must have vouchsafed her1 after all1 a good many masochistic compensations of the neurotic variety4 ,famous ,women ,sadists4 ,as against the assumption that all women are masochists1 we may mention many famous women sadists1 several ,byzantine and ,roman ,empresses1 ,frankish queens1 two ,russian empresses1 the treatment meted out by women to ,theroigne de ,mricourt1 tortured publicly by the ,jacobine women in #agic1 not to mention legendary characters like the ,amazons and mythological goddesses who killed or tortured their lovers4 ,sadism and masochism in love are pathological disturbances due to a neurotic attempt on the part of an inferior individual to dominate the sexual partner thru violence or weakness1 and to assure himself against defeat in the sexual relationship4 ,the ,freudian ,suggestion that the sadist identifies himself with the powerful and apparently1 brutal father1 the masochist identifying himself with the weaker and submissive mother1 applies to a too restricted number of cases to be of positive help in understanding the nature of those two perversions4 ,even when that explanation seems to fit the case1 we must1 nevertheless1 fall back upon the ,adlerian view of the neurotic temperament in order to understand why a child decides to identify himself with one parent instead of the other4 ,,chapter ,,xxi ,,what ,,love ,,owes ,,to ,,sadists ,,and ,,masochists ,love that inflicts suffering and love which craves suffering are travesties on love1 for normal love gives joy and craves joy4 ,yet1 it may be that a too perfect adaption1 one vouchsafing constantly to the mates the security they seek in each other's arms would soon pall on them4 ,they might not remain attached to each other any longer than the animals who1 in the majority of species1 part as soon as they have fulfilled their biological mission4 ,a perfectly normal couple might die of boredom4 ,what makes animals1 when they have not been slightly perverted by contact with human beings1 so uninteresting1 is their absolute normality4 ,a very slight touch of perversion in at least one of the mates1 seems necessary if the novelty of the relationship is not to wear off too soon4 ,maybe ,i should not say perversion1 but perverseness4 ,the normal husband who would die rather than hurt his life mate cannot compete with the romantic1 lover1 a little mysterious1 unreliable1 suspected of flirting with other women1 who keeps a woman guessing1 pretends at times to be indifferent and has to be won over and over again4 ,the normal husband whose affection is taken for granted and who always says the proper thing at the proper time1 remembers all anniversaries and celebrates them officially1 pales in comparison with a tender1 masochistic lover1 whom every unkind gesture seems to wound deeply1 whose affection is tinged with a melancholy longing1 who treasures little sentimental memories which his earnestness makes at times rather poignant4 ,the ,sadistic ,lover carries a woman off her feet by the daredevil things he may indulge in when away from her4 ,the masochist touches deeply the motherly chord in her by the acts of kindness and devotion he may perform for others1 by his charitable or professional activities4 ,the ,vamp4 ,how much the world1 especially the world of art1 owes to the slightly sadistic1 vampish woman1 who1 if she is endowed with much physical beauty sets1 a little cruelly1 all the males competing for her favors4 ,how many flaming poems of passion1 what priceless canvasses1 statutes and monuments has she conjured up out of her admirers' minds4 ,even the perverse female beasts of the ,italian ,renaissance made love infinitely romantic4 ,on the other hand1 what worshipful tenderness meets even the memory of the patient ,aude who silently closed her eyes and died when ,roland was brought home dead1 of ,solvejg1 waiting with saintly resignation for the return of the rover ,peer ,gynt4 ,of course the sadistic braggart earns much hatred and the whimpering masochistic male much scorn4 ,the sadistic vamp gets shot by jealous lovers and the clinging masochistic vine is called a pest4 ,to the lovers who are not unbearably normal and whose slight pituitary instability causes them to do and say the unexpected1 love owes its poetry1 the love life its charm and its inspirational power4 ,all other things being equal1 when a slightly sadistic male1 seeking as his mate the image of a pliant mother1 meets a slightly masochistic female who seeks the image of the powerful1 domineering father1 there are many chances that the match will1 for a long period of time1 retain its original qualities4 ,the sadistic female1 on the other hand soon emasculates the masochistic male4 ,sadistic mates and masochistic mates land in the divorce court1 the former throwing at each other charges of cruelty1 the latter1 for unfaithfulness of one or both mates1 who seek in adultery relief from the monotony of their too peaceful existence4 ,,chapter ,,xxii ,,love ,,among ,,the ,,artists ,frequent are the divorces in the artistic world4 ,platitudinous moralisers explain that fact with the stupid statement that the morals of the stage are loose4 ,like the ,freudians1 they always seek in sex the origin of every disturbance in human life4 ,sex in the life of an artist1 however1 plays an infinitely less important part than egotism1 the desire to be above4 ,the so-called normal man1 who works1 eats1 sleeps1 reproduces himself1 and1 at his death leaves the world exactly as he found it is probably subnormal4 ,he differs very little from the animals who do exactly the same things in the same way and seem perfectly pleased with the endless repetition of an immutable life ritual4 ,dissatisfaction is really the element which we must consider when we try to draw a line of cleavage between men and the animals4 ,dissatisfaction breeds either neurosis or creation4 ,the dissatisfied person1 devoid of intellectual resources1 either commits a crime or kills himself or goes off into another world thru the door that leads into insanity4 ,the dissatisfied person gifted with powers of self-expression1 makes the world in which he lives better1 more beautiful or more comfortable4 ,that sort of achievement presupposes a certain amount of healthy sadism1 the courage to criticise1 to offer suggestions1 to force the products of one's mind upon the community1 to say look at me1 ,i am perfect or1 at least1 better than you4 ,every budding actor assumes unconsciously that he can delineate a rle better than the other histrionic lights of his time2 every new novelist must assume that he can tell a story more attractively than his readers could picture it to themselves1 etc41 etc4 ,the artist who is willing to yield1 soon relapses into the ranks of the business men4 ,whoever panders to the popular taste of his time may derive therefrom financial advantages but very little egotistical gratification4 ,the real artist must know that he is right and must not be1 therefore1 soft clay to be moulded by any one else's desires4 ,how then could the artist obtain lasting happiness from any form of love relationship8 ,the ,male ,artist1 if married to a submissive1 masochistic wife1 may live happily with her for a time4 ,egotists1 male or female1 however1 need flattery4 ,familiarity breeds contempt4 ,flattery must come from a constantly changing source or lose its power1 as drugs do when we grow accustomed to them4 ,flattery coming from a pretty woman whose attraction has not been weakened by daily contact will soon lead the artist husband into forbidden paths4 ,unless endowed with the wisdom of the musician's wife in ,the ,concert1 his wife will soon be granted a divorce on the ground of his too obvious infidelity4 ,woe to the male artist who takes unto himself a female artist for his wife4 ,as ,i said in the preceding chapter1 sadist plus sadist equals divorce suit for cruelty alleged by both parties4 ,in this type of matrimonial castastrophy1 the fault lies more frequently with the wife than with the husband4 ,female ,artists are more unbearable than male artists4 ,they are more touchy1 more easily offended and angered1 more apt to suspect the people in their environment of harboring veiled hostility4 ,the reason for that state of things is not far to seek4 ,women require infinitely more flattery than men do4 ,not that a craving for attention is by any means a typically feminine trait4 ,that craving has been forced upon them by the masculine domination4 ,we have made woman inferior to man politically1 socially1 economically1 we have1 as ,adler would word it1 put her below4 ,until we allow her to rise to man's level1 she will never feel safe and will constantly require assurances of her superiority1 at least1 from the men who fancy her looks and enjoy her company4 ,the ,woman ,who ,accomplishes ,things in this world1 who1 in spite of woman's handicap in her dealings with the world1 wins recognition as a painter1 sculptor1 writer1 singer1 etc41 feels1 and justly so1 that she deserves more credit for her accomplishment than a man would4 ,winning power in a man's world is for the woman who reaches that aim ethically1 that is1 without bartering her sexual favors for success1 as difficult as it would be for a ,jew to arrive in a bigoted ,christian community1 for a negro to establish his prestige in a white anglo-saxon environment4 ,having reached the top after much fighting1 she never feels as secure as a man would under similar circumstances4 ,her ego is steadily on the defensive and whatever interferes with her ego maximation appears to her dangerous and hateful4 ,the female artist who marries a male artist will soon become jealous of him4 ,every bit of publicity he receives is something which he has stolen from her1 which he should1 she thinks1 if he loved her enough1 have renounced in her favor4 ,the female artist who marries a man incapable of artistic achievement1 may be violently attracted to him sexually4 ,her egotism1 on the other hand1 prompts her to disparage him and to scorn his judgment of her4 ,however much he may admire her1 his praise lacks weight in her estimation4 ,he is not a member of the enchanted circle4 ,a word from one in the know1 insignificant as he may be1 will bring a smile to her lips1 a flash of pleasure in her eyes1 which will cut her mate to the quick4 ,i have observed many a time an angry tension in the face of the business husband of some actress or singer when she would visibly gloat over the not too disinterested praise of some trashy professional4 ,flattery4 ,the artist is at the mercy of the flattery lavished on him or her by a fellow artist and absolutely blind to the flatterer's ulterior motives4 ,a great musician who died recently was an easy victim to every budding musician who would sycophantically sing his praises4 ,the mere statement if ,i could ever hope to sing a few notes like you enabled any young exploiter who could approach him to negotiate a loan4 ,for the reasons ,i have mentioned in the preceding pages1 the woman artist is even more easily victimised1 financially or sentimentally than the male artist4 ,sexual jealousy wrecks the unions of artists with non-professional mates4 ,sexual jealousy and professional jealousy make the union of two artists a very problematical expedient for the attainment of happiness4 ,fortunately1 very few heartbreaks result from the steady grinding of the divorce mills in concert land1 opera land or stageland4 ,the egotistical artist loves himself more than he could ever love any other human being4 ,separation from his life mate does not mean loneliness to him4 ,he remains in his own company1 to his mind1 the best company on earth4 ,and furthermore his egotism tells him1 and rightly so in the majority of cases1 that being as wonderful as he is1 he cannot fail to meet soon the great love of his life4 ,and he will probably embark upon another experiment with the same optimism and with the same results4 ,,chapter ,,xxiii ,,the ,,personality ,,behind ,,the ,,fetishes4 ,,glands ,a man selects a mate because he finds in her fetishes the assurance of safety which those fetishes portended when observed in the appearance of his affectionate1 devoted1 self-sacrificing mother1 whose intelligence and wisdom he never doubted when he was1 let us say1 ten or fifteen and she was thirty or thirty-five4 ,and likewise1 a woman expects1 consciously or unconsciously1 that certain physical characteristics which once indicated1 when observed in her father's appearance1 power1 protection1 a gainful occupation1 sympathy and understanding1 etc41 will mean exactly the same thing when she finds them reproduced totally or in part in a male human being of the marriageable age4 ,the ,parent-,child ,relationship1 involving at first boundless devotion on the part of the strong parent to the helpless nursling1 infant and child1 and later1 complete submission of the growing child and adolescent to the older and1 supposedly world-wiser1 parent1 has very little1 if anything1 in common with the relationship of mate to mate4 ,sex plays no conscious part in the parent-child relationship4 ,it does not tinge every action and every thought of the two parties concerned4 ,the secret cravings or the secret repulsion it may awaken never distort consciously the judgments passed by parents on their children1 children on their parents4 ,of neurotic unconscious distortions of judgment there is a plenty4 ,never1 however1 does the strife narrow down to this3 ,he or she does not satisfy me sexually1 he or she humiliates me sexually by being attracted to others1 he or she is an obstacle to my complete sexual gratification with another1 etc41 sources of open hostility of the most painfully conscious kind between mates4 ,the mother who satisfied our egotism became to us beautiful and perfect4 ,the female who employs the same means our mother did1 to win us1 but who cannot arouse us sexually1 never appears to us very attractive physically or mentally4 ,on the other hand we are apt to disregard1 temporarily at least1 the mental deficiencies of the man or woman who gives us the most complete sexual gratification4 ,from this it will be easily understood that choosing a mate solely on the strength of his or her fetishes1 is likely1 unless the union be of the most ephemeral kind1 to lead to profound disappointment4 ,it behooves us then to determine accurately what every fetish means and what sort of personality is actually to be found associated with a certain set of physical characteristics4 ,for ,i repeat1 a man's or woman's personality is to be studied1 not in their attitude to their offspring1 7for the most savage beast is transformed by the paternal or maternal instinct into a marvel of tenderness1 kindness and patience71 but in their relation to the social herd and to their sexual mate4 ,until the study of the ductless glands was given the importance we attach to it today1 the word personality denoted a set of attitudes which many psychologists considered as mainly voluntary and amenable to moral suasion and other forms of pedagogical approach of the individual4 ,when we read the works of ,freud1 ,jung1 ,adler1 ,ferenczi and their disciples1 we never receive an intimation of the rle which the endocrines may play in moulding the human personality4 ,modern ,endocrinologists on the other hand1 seem as indifferent to psychology as the psychoanalysts of yesterday were to neurology and endocrinology4 ,some of them assume that the personality ,,is the glands and that our glands alone shape our thinking and our actions4 ,both views are narrow and unsatisfactory4 ,the personality is made up primarily of an organism which outward influences can or cannot influence easily4 ,pleasure and pain then shape that organism thru the memories which they leave in it in the form of infinitely small modifications of our autonomic nervous system4 ,that system1 in its turn1 develops1 thru constant stimulation1 certain glands or allows them to remain undeveloped thru lack of stimulation or thru negative stimulation4 ,some of those glands may1 thru mere accident of growth1 have been already overdeveloped or stunted at birth4 ,individuals free from complexes1 however1 may easily reestablish the balance of cravings and social inhibitions which threatens at times to be upset by an overdeveloped or underdeveloped gland4 ,complex-ridden individuals on the other hand1 use their glandular inferiority unconsciously as a scapegoat for absurd or morbid behavior4 ,reciprocal ,influence4 ,we cannot say1 therefore1 that our behavior is dictated by our glands1 but it is influenced by them and reciprocally1 our behavior influences our glands4 ,as ,i said in a previous chapter1 hyperthyroidism creates fear1 but fear may also create hyperthyroidism4 ,overdevelopment of the sexual apparatus creates a predisposition to sexual overactivity1 but sexual thoughts also have a tendency to provoke unusual sexual activity4 ,there is one thing1 however1 for which the secretions of our ductless glands are mainly responsible1 and which is most important to consider in a study of fetishes4 ,they determine the shape1 color and consistency of many parts of our body1 such as complexion1 hair1 teeth1 skeletal frame and growth4 ,a glance at a human body enables one to determine as accurately as an autopsy would1 the size of a person's thyroid1 adrenals1 etc4 ,as the development of those glands corresponds to the social and sexual behavior of the individual1 a review of the various bodily fetishes from the endocrinological point of view will be helpful to the average reader4 ,in order not to use too many technical terms we shall consider only four of the endocrine glands1 the pituitary1 the thyroid1 the adrenals and the gonads4 ,the ,pituitary ,gland is a small body1 the size of a pea1 located in the ,turkish saddle 7sella turcica71 at the base of the brain and closely behind the root of the nose4 ,some have called it a brain within the brain with a miniature skull of its own within the skull4 ,the pituitary regulates the rhythms of the body1 from the bony growth of the skeleton to the rate of the heart and respiration1 from the periods of sleep and waking time to the periods of menstruation4 ,if a part of the pituitary of a dog is removed1 the animal becomes sleepy1 fat1 perverse in its sex cravings2 puppies cease to grow when submitted to such an operation2 autopsy of many human dwarfs has shown that their pituitary was undeveloped4 ,people whose pituitary is insufficient in its action have a tendency to lose their hair1 have a very dry skin1 a dull mentality1 sometimes suffer from epilepsy and crave sugar in large quantities4 ,they are generally obese1 the fat accumulating on the lower abdomen and the feet and ankles4 ,louis ,berman in his excellent book on the endocrines ,glands regulating the ,personality1 presents as a perfect likeness of the hypopituitary type the ,fat ,boy of the ,pickwick ,papers whose emloyment with ,mr4 ,wardle consisted in alternate sleeping and eating4 ,i will quote from ,berman's book a description of the opposite type1 the individual in whom the pituitary gland is too active4 ,if the overaction begins in childhood or adolescence1 that is1 before puberty1 there results a great elongation of the bones1 so that a giant is the consequence4444 ,if the overaction happens after puberty1 when the long bones have set and can not grow longer1 a peculiar1 diffuse enlargement of the individual occurs1 especially of his hands and feet and head4 ,the nose1 ears1 lips and eyes get larger and coarser4 ,all those people are rather big and tall to begin with1 heavy jawed1 burly1 with overhanging eyebrows and an aggressive manner4 ,rabelais' most famous character1 ,gargantua1 belongs to the group4 ,we recruit more drum majors than prime ministers from among those people4 ,the pituitary has a strong influence on sexual activities4 ,young animals whose pituitary has been surgically damaged will not be able to reproduce themselves when reaching adulthood4 ,feeding pituitary glands to hens on the other hand1 causes them to lay thirty per cent more eggs than they would naturally4 ,the ,thyroid is a transformer of energy4 ,it is a large reddish mass located in front and on both sides of the trachea1 consisting of two lobes connected by a bridge of the same tissue4 ,the thyroid activates the fires of the body4 ,an active thyroid means life at concert pitch4 ,a sluggish thyroid means a slow1 negative existence4 ,to a poor thyroid correspond a pasty complexion1 watery eyes with heavy lids1 a depressed pug nose1 large ears1 thin hair1 scanty eyebrows and eyelashes1 short1 brittle nails1 irregular1 bad teeth1 broad1 pudgy hands and feet1 generally cold4 ,with an overactive thyroid we observe a high color1 sleeplessness1 restlessness1 a tendency to lose weight1 emotionalism1 profuse perspiration1 bright1 large eyes1 good white teeth4 ,the ,adrenal ,glands are about the size of a bean and located on top of the kidneys4 ,they secrete adrenin which1 when poured into the blood1 causes muscular tension1 accelerates the heart beats and the breathing rate1 dilates the pupil and produces fear or anger according to the relative size of the core 7medulla7 or envelop 7cortex7 of the adrenals4 ,in timid animals 7and women7 the cortex is thin1 in courageous animals 7and men7 the cortex is rather thick4 ,according to the thickness of your cortex you shall1 in an emergency1 resort to either fight or flight4 ,a man with a thin cortex looks feminine1 a woman with a thick cortex looks mannish4 ,the adrenals control the color of the skin1 the growth of hair1 the size of the canine teeth and the color of the teeth4 ,to good adrenals correspond an olive complexion1 much hair on the body1 rather yellowish teeth and strong canines4 ,the bearded lady of the circus is a woman with overdeveloped adrenals and a thick cortex4 ,weak adrenals go with cold extremities1 a hairless body1 poor canines1 lack of ambition1 discouragement1 fatigability1 etc4 ,the ,gonads or ,sex ,glands1 testes in man1 ovaries in woman1 affect thru the secretions of their interstitial cells1 the pitch of the voice1 the growth of pubic hair1 the size of the breasts1 the distribution of fat4 ,good gonads mean masculine looking men and feminine looking women4 ,poor gonads mean feminine looking men1 hairless and with overdeveloped breasts1 talking in a high-pitched voice1 with a tendency to obesity and laziness 7eunuchs72 scrawny looking women who may later in life grow abnormally fat1 with1 in their youth1 flat chests1 scanty menstruation1 etc4 ,healthy gonads also retard senility4 ,gonads whose interstitial cells have been rehabilitated by the ,steinach operation bring a new youth to the organism1 mentally and physically4 ,other glands1 the thymus1 pancreas1 parathyroid1 pineal body also play an important part in shaping the human body and with it the personality4 ,the limits of this book do not allow me1 however1 to discuss them even superficially4 ,,chapter ,,xxiv ,,glandular ,,personalities ,i stated in the preceding chapter that to every degree of glandular development there corresponds a certain set of physical characteristics which1 in the love life1 may be transformed into fetishes1 7beautiful features1 laymen call them71 which are necessary to arouse sexual desire in one's mate1 but which are not necessarily attractive to any one else4 ,those physical characteristics are1 in turn1 the tangible evidence of the presence of certain mental attitudes and predispositions4 ,individuals seeking in the love union1 not merely a passing gratification of their erotism1 but a lifelong arrangement1 gratifying both the physical and the mental aspects of the organism1 should be trained to recognise the presence or absence of characteristics which would make such an arrangement a lasting pleasure or a lasting torture4 ,for instance1 the woman who falls in love with a man because her fetishism requires a short1 round1 plump1 man1 with a good head of hair but hairless limbs1 must not expect him to ever grow into a fighter1 a good provider or even a companion of placid moods4 ,a man of that type is capricious1 unstable1 unresisting1 and prefers the gentler arts to any form of competitive struggle4 ,likewise a man who picks out a woman for his mate because she has pretty1 doll-like features1 is cute and slight1 has a soft skin1 white and pink1 must not expect to live peacefully with her on a farm1 or even on ,main ,street or in a distant suburb4 ,that type of woman grows easily emotional1 is constantly in search of new excitement and new pleasures4 ,it is only at forty that she will become more settled 7and rotund71 retaining1 however1 a certain jollity of disposition4 ,the ,olive ,skinned ,dark ,haired ,type1 and the freckled1 red haired are very much alike4 ,both have a low forehead1 hair is plentiful all over the body1 thick and coarse4 ,their canines are long and sharp4 ,men and women of that type are good fighters1 more easily angered than scared2 they are generally successful1 with a tendency to slave-driving4 ,in the face of great difficulties1 of painful disappointment1 however1 they are prone to turn embittered and cranky4 ,people of this type who show large birth marks are likely to be imbalanced and irritable4 ,they may at times give the impression of being weak and lazy1 altho their minds may be extremely active4 ,the ,tall ,type1 with strong frame1 firm muscles1 generous hands and feet1 a thick skin1 oval face1 head flattened at the sides1 thick eyebrows1 prominent eyes1 placed rather wide apart1 large nose1 square chin1 large upper middle incisors1 heavy joints1 hairy legs and arms1 is characterised by intelligence and self-control4 ,at times that type has a tendency to be a little calculating if not sordid4 ,the ,lean ,type with clean-cut features1 thick hair1 thick1 long eyebrows1 big1 keen eyes1 sometimes slightly protruding1 well developed white teeth and a very masculine or very feminine mouth1 according to sex1 is active1 restless1 a live wire1 emotional and likely to be easily prostrated by an unexpected defeat4 ,men and women of that type have a tendency to be sleepless and to do too much planning at night instead of resting peacefully4 ,the ,short1 ,obese1 ,sallow ,type1 with a high forehead1 scanty eyebrows1 deep set1 narrow eyes1 irregular teeth that decay early1 with poor circulation1 cold and blue hands and feet1 is rather animal and lacks self-control4 ,the ,slender ,type1 with narrow waist line1 rounded limbs1 long chest1 7which in women may carry poorly developed breasts71 very white1 hairless skin1 delicate features1 silky hair1 childish teeth1 flat feet1 knock-knees1 may be at times very brilliant1 but is generally queer1 eccentric1 irresponsible1 perverse1 dishonest4 ,that type is observed in many petty thieves1 prostitutes1 drug addicts1 suicides4 ,those are the most striking physical types4 ,they present hundreds of shadings and combinations4 ,environment4 ,the last mentioned type1 if reared and kept in a comfortable environment1 among people of slightly lax behavior1 of artistic inclinations1 exposed to none of life's onslaughts1 may do very well1 and be considered by his associates as sensitive1 gentle and likeable4 ,it is the pressure of social and economic conditions which cause him to seek safety in theft 7quick acquisition of wealth71 drug stupor1 7escape from reality1 perversion1 escape from biological duties connected with a normal sex life71 or suicide1 7return to the fetal stage and escape from life74 ,those people are children who can only thrive in the nursery4 ,even as infant mortality depends solely upon the family income1 the death rate being five times as high in poor as in wealthy families1 the stability and social charm of almost any glandular type depends upon the social pressure that type has to bear4 ,almost any type is bearable1 if not lovable1 in a comfortable environment requiring little planning and no fighting4 ,one of the details of the social pressure is1 of course1 the attempts at repression or modification to which a personality may be subjected by the life mate4 ,the fault lies in this case1 not so much with the type in itself1 however inferior it may be1 as with the incurable optimist who attempts the impossible task of changing a human personality4 ,in other words1 it might be said1 that in an environment which exerts no pressure on the individual1 that is1 where there is abundance of wealth and comfort1 one can select a mate with bad fetishes1 that is1 indicative of weakness1 while those less favored financially must lay greater stress on fetishes denoting strength and fighting ability4 ,what ,teeth ,indicate4 ,fraenkel and ,kaplan have pointed to the teeth as indicators of the general glandular condition of the individual and of his probable mental and physical powers4 ,good middle incisors indicate good thyroid and pituitary1 hence strength and balance4 ,good lateral incisors indicate sexual power2 good canines indicate strong adrenals1 hence good fighting ability4 ,lack of any of those teeth1 or their stunted growth1 gives naturally1 the contrary indication as to make up and character4 ,one must not forget either that certain fetishes are superficial and likely to disappear early in life4 ,blondes may turn into brunettes2 sveltness may yield to invading obesity1 altho this last change is to be blamed more on the individual's stupidity than upon his glandular condition2 a white skin may become yellow1 etc4 ,preference should1 therefore1 be given1 when in doubt1 to more durable fetishes1 stature1 strength1 general appearance1 attitude1 which are less likely to change with the years4 ,matrimonial ,engineers4 ,here is a new field for educators2 there may grow from this very new knowledge a new profession1 that of the matrimonial engineer1 who will diagnose the chances of happiness two human beings may have1 if they decide to associate their destinies4 ,much has to be studied and experimented upon before any one can consider himself qualified to pass final judgments upon the decisions to which love leads couples4 ,however as ,berman writes1 the fact remains that1 though we are only upon the first rungs of the ladder1 we are on the ladder4 ,we possess a new way of looking upon humanity1 a fresh transforming light upon these strange phenomena1 ourselves4 ,of the ugly achievements of that dreadful century1 the nineteenth1 the most illuminating was the discovery of itself as the ape-parvenu4 ,yes1 we are all animals now1 it said to itself1 and set its teeth in the cut-throat game of survival4 ,but there was no understanding in that evil motto of a disillusioned heart4 ,the ape-parvenu1 desperately lonely and secretive1 has still to understand itself4444 ,personality embraces much more than merely the psychic attributes4 ,it is not the least important of the lessons of endocrine analysis that here is no soul1 and no body either4 ,rather a soul-body or body-soul1 or the patterns of the living flame4 ,the closer tracking of the internal secretions leads us into the secrets of the living flame1 why it lives and how it lives1 the strange diversities of its coloring and music and the odd variations in its energy1 vitality and longevity4 ,why it flickers1 why it flares and glares1 spurts1 flutters1 burns hard or soft1 orange-blue or yellow4 ,,chapter ,,xxv ,,love ,,and ,,mother ,,love ,is the perfect mother a perfect wife8 ,is the perfect mother1 in every case1 the result of mental perfection and ethical superiority8 ,or is there a hidden strife between love and motherhood8 ,is mother love always the enchanting image presented to us by poets and intimidated sons8 ,or is it an alloy of higher qualities1 biological necessity and egotistical neurotic cravings8 ,i do not intend to settle all those problems within the limits of a short chapter1 but rather to point out some of the morbid components of mother love which a psychoanalyst detects in his women patients1 and which1 exaggerated in the neurotic1 exist to a slight degree in every woman4 ,sex ,cravings and ,motherhood ,cravings are so closely related that few psychologists have ever dreamt of dissociating them for the purpose of study4 ,the average moralist1 who prefers cheap popularity to scientific accuracy1 excuses the existence of sex cravings only on one condition1 that they become absolutely subservient to motherhood cravings4 ,the birth control agitation which is making such rapid headway at the present day1 on the other hand1 means1 in part1 that while motherhood may be the consequence of unregulated sex activities1 it is not1 for all women1 their conscious motive4 ,why is it that some women with an erotic disposition and a voluptuous physique1 fear pregnancy while other women1 apparently indifferent to men1 crave motherhood8 ,physiology does not give us a very satisfactory answer to this question4 ,endocrinologists tell us that sex cravings are determined by the ovaries and motherhood cravings by the posterior part of the pituitary gland1 but this leaves us exactly where we were when we started out4 ,pregnancy and ,health4 ,all physiologists will agree with the statement that in a normal1 complex free woman1 a type which unfortunately1 the complexity of our civilization does not allow us to behold very frequently1 pregnancy is accompanied by an unusual activity of all the organism1 imparting to the female a sense of great power and1 consequently1 of well-being1 mental and physical4 ,the adrenals work at high pressure to produce the muscular tone necessary in gestation4 ,the thyroid is called upon to transform more and more of the electric current produced by the brain cells4 ,new glands of a temporary nature develop in the woman's body1 regulating her life functions more accurately and imparting to her a feeling of dreamy happiness and relaxation4 ,after delivery1 another part of her body enters into activity1 her mammary glands1 so closely related to the genitals that any stimulation of either region finds a strong echo in the other4 ,many are the women in whom lactation produces intensely erotic feelings affording them at times full gratification4 ,fear of ,pregnancy4 ,unfortunately1 civilisation has surrounded motherhood with so many complications1 social1 ethical1 financial1 sentimental1 etc41 that in very few women1 indeed1 is that biological process an unmixed pleasure1 dissociated from all pain and anxiety4 ,vomiting1 which expresses the female's disgust for her condition1 or her mate or the offspring2 cramplike tensions1 expressing her worries about her appearance1 her anxious thought of financial or social consequences2 anxiety states1 affecting the adrenals1 which discolor her face 7pregnancy mask71 make pregnancy hideous in many cases4 ,even the process of parturition seems to have become more painful and dangerous with advancing civilisation4 ,any one who has seen1 for instance1 ,mexican women barely interrupting their labor in the fields to give birth to a child1 and resuming their tasks an hour later1 must realise that autosuggestion has much to do with the physical disability of the civilised woman in child bed4 ,in spite of the complexities of modern life1 the female organism which is not affected by fear complexes1 must expect a pleasure premium from pregnancy1 lactation and other duties of motherhood4 ,this would supply us with an organic basis for the mother's attachment to her offspring which is observable almost in every animal species4 ,that a number of women may be found who hate their children owing to the suffering to which unwelcome motherhood and difficult parturition have subjected them1 is easily understandable4 ,in fact we face a vicious circle4 ,the unwelcome pregnancy will be an unpleasant one1 followed almost unavoidably by painful delivery1 etc4 ,when ,mother ,love is ,lacking or when a mother hates a very young child1 the psychologist must look for morbid unconscious influences which analysis should remove as soon as possible4 ,stekel1 the ,viennese analyst1 tells of a woman who was very fond of three of her daughters but1 for some mysterious reason1 detested the fourth one4 ,analysis revealed that she imagined she saw every one of her husband's faults reproduced and magnified in the unfortunate child4 ,she also imagined that she loved her husband very deeply4 ,the year when the unloved child was conceived1 however1 she had fallen in love with another man1 a young poet4 ,she remained technically faithful to her husband1 altho1 when in his arms1 it was always the poet to whom she was giving herself4 ,she hoped sentimentally that the forthcoming child would look like her platonic lover but the little girl reproduced with striking faithfulness her father's features4 ,unwilling to accept her dislike of her husband1 the romantic mother had transferred it to the child who served as a scapegoat in various ways4 ,frigid ,wives4 ,we often observe a great craving for motherhood in frigid wives4 ,let us not rehash on this occasion the poetical and silly statement that the frigid woman is one whose love has been spiritualised and can only find an outlet thru her children4 ,the frigid woman is a cripple or a neurotic4 ,either she was born with poorly developed genitals or she was made abnormal by the unconscious fear of yielding to man's domination1 or by a morbid sense of sin due to asceticism1 or by painful or humiliating sex experiences before or after marriage4 ,her craving for motherhood is not infrequently the hypocritical expression of her desire for intercourse1 which her puritan training would otherwise make lewd and sinful4 ,it is1 at times1 a desire for the superiority which age and bodily size will give her over infants1 helpless and inarticulate4 ,this is why1 in a good many cases1 a perfect mother makes a detestable wife4 ,unable to dominate her husband she craves children whom she can dominate with a minimum of bodily strength and mental effort1 and she devotes all her time and care to them4 ,when the children grow up and develop independent personalities1 the neurotic mother often loses her interest in them4 ,how many times have we heard women 7and men7 remark that children should remain babies1 that young children are far more lovable than adolescents1 etc4 ,mother and ,father ,love differ in several respects4 ,fathers look upon their children1 especially their sons1 as a visible proof of their virile power4 ,in their sons they see their own image1 the more attractive to them as they are more egotistical4 ,the weak1 infirm or unsuccessful son1 however1 receives little love at the hands of his father4 ,he is not a credit to his progenitor4 ,no mother1 on the other hand1 seems to neglect a cripple or idiotic child4 ,be it male or female1 it is a human being which she can dominate easily4 ,the more neurotic she is1 the more she will idolise the ill-favored child4 ,mothers ,always ,adore ,their ,sons1 young and old1 for they behold in them males whom they can easily dominate4 ,and fathers love their daughters1 young or old1 for similar reasons4 ,the relations of aging mothers and growing daughters1 however1 are almost invariably tinged with a certain hostility1 overt or concealed1 according to the women's habits1 training1 manners1 etc4 ,girls at the ,flapper ,stage who resent the attraction which their mothers still wield over younger men1 constantly remind them of their age and bid them to behave in a way more in keeping with their mature years4 ,the flapper's mother on the other hand1 who sees her daughter gradually monopolising the attention of men callers1 reminds the girl with monotonous regularity that she is only a child and bids her to behave as befits her tender years4 ,the mother resents her daughter's fresh beauty1 the daughter1 her mother's experience in dealing with males4 ,both watch each other closely1 protecting each other's modesty and virtue and trying to make each other's life as uninteresting and uneventful as possible4 ,the girl becomes an ethical critic on her mother's smoking or gowns4 ,the mother blossoms into a puritan who allows her daughter no freedom and seems to have entirely forgotten her own girlhood years4 ,the strife lasts until the daughter is old enough to have her own circle of friends and no longer needs a chaperone4 ,after which mother and daughter1 if matched intellectually1 may once more become friends4 ,repressed ,hatred4 ,i have treated a number of neurotic mothers who seemed to be obsessed by their adoration of their children4 ,that exaggerated tenderness was1 as ,i mentioned in another chapter1 a cover for death wishes directed toward those children4 ,some never allowed knives to be left in evidence in the house1 some did not dare to carry their children in their arms on the stairs1 while boarding trains1 or while near open windows4 ,one never dared to administer a medicine to her little girl for fear of making a mistake and poisoning her4 ,one did not dare to bathe her child for fear of drowning him accidentally in the tub4 ,neurotic women who do not wish to become mothers and rebel against motherhood1 7which some of them consider as a symbol of woman's inferior role71 often compensate for their lack of love by an almost criminal indulgence and weakness toward their children4 ,unable to give them genuine love1 they pretend to idolise them and are apparently unable to deny any of their wishes4 ,this1 in last analysis1 is simply a total indifference to the little ones' welfare4 ,that type of mother spoils her children and makes them unfit to face life and its emergencies4 ,her extravagant adulation1 her outbursts of artificial tenderness1 however1 do not always deceive the children themselves who feel automatically1 thru nervous and muscular imitation1 the tensions of their mother's body4 ,the little son of the woman who was obsessed by the fear of drowning him 7and who compensated for her murderous cravings by showering the wildest caresses upon him71 could not be prevailed upon to ever go near the water until her obsessions1 of which1 he1 of course1 had no conscious knowledge1 had been removed by psychoanalytic treatment4 ,neurotic mother love trains children for a neurotic life4 ,,chapter ,,xxvi ,,should ,,winter ,,mate ,,with ,,spring8 ,this is the poetical way in which many newspaper editors have been introducing to their readers accounts of two recent incidents which1 at the time of writing 7this chapter71 keep headline writers busy4 ,one of the news items is the idyll of an heiress1 still in her teens1 who has made up her mind to marry a man of fifty or thereabout4 ,the other is the heartbreak of a seventy year old husband1 deserted by his twenty year old wife4 ,the mating of winter and spring is a daily occurrence1 both seasons being divided up about equally between the two sexes4 ,the two unnatural matches which ,i mentioned above1 however1 stand in a class by themselves4 ,many a young idler1 gifted with good looks1 has managed to play on the erotic feelings of some woman in her dotage and to annex a goodly portion of her wealth4 ,many an attractive girl1 seeking the line of least effort1 has been known to prefer a union with a silly old man to the daily struggle for existence4 ,disinterested ,brides4 ,in the two cases under discussion1 on the other hand1 no suspicion of sordidness could be cast on the bride-that-was or on the bride-to-be4 ,both are wealthy1 one of them immensely so4 ,the bridegroom to be is1 if not a poor man1 at least in very modest circumstances4 ,a genuine love match in both cases4 ,but the genuineness of love did not prevent a catastrophe in one case and will probably bring about a catastrophe in the other case as well4 ,in both cases1 the men are probably normal and yielding to the very natural attraction of youth combined with beauty and refinement4 ,both women1 however1 are abnormal1 altho one of them1 the runaway wife1 may have regained her normality and awakened from her absurd dream4 ,both are1 or were1 the victims of a fixation of the most acute type1 on the father image indicating a morbid neurotic disposition4 ,such unions can hardly ever hold out any promise of lasting happiness4 ,the ,case of ,wagner4 ,there is1 of course1 the famous example of ,wagner who1 at fifty-seven carried off the beautiful wife of ,hans von ,blow1 almost thirty years his junior1 and lived happily with her until his death4 ,but ,wagner was at the time a marvelous example of physical and mental activity1 energy and creative power4 ,in no way1 barring his facial appearance1 could he suggest age or decay to his young wife4 ,he remained to the last a romantic figure4 ,the glamor1 however1 which may surround a successful composer with a picturesque past1 is not likely to dazzle in any way the bride of a riding master or of a ,new ,england manufacturer4 ,a ,parent ,fixation1 as ,i explained in the chapters on the ,family ,romance and on ,incest1 is the more acute as it drives its victim to seek a closer duplicate of the parent type4 ,the man who seeks a woman for his mate because his mother was a woman is influenced by the most normal and biologically valuable of mother fixations4 ,the race would come to an end but for that form of fixation4 ,the son of a blonde mother who cannot love a woman unless she is also a blonde1 is less normal and less free in his choice of a mate than the preceding type4 ,he is inhibited by childhood memories1 but then1 education and civilisation are little more than inhibitions caused by childhood memories4 ,that type simply marries in his set and can lead an otherwise very normal life4 ,he1 however1 who is irresistibly attracted by a woman exactly like his mother1 not only as far as appearance1 but also as far as age goes1 is a childish1 regressive neurotic1 seeking the safety of childhood conditions and obsessed at times by unconscious incestuous cravings4 ,the ,rock of ,physical ,incompatibility is often one on which such adventures are shipwrecked4 ,a very young woman1 ignorant of the sex life and its problems1 unable to realise its meaning before marriage1 may develop immediately after her union to an elderly man a very passionate temperament4 ,either she will repress her cravings for physical love1 which her too mature mate is unable to gratify1 and she will develop anxiety states or hysteria4 ,or she will be too healthy to repress her desires1 and her disappointment may change her love into scorn1 especially when conversation with other women or a clever suitor opens her eyes to what is lacking in her life4 ,a separation1 sometimes complicated by the usual triangle situation1 may become unavoidable4 ,there are cases in which both mates are frankly neurotic and were drawn together as invalids and weak-minded often are1 by the similarity of their predicament4 ,the ,plight of ,two ,neurotics4 ,both of them may1 as ,i observed it once1 seek safety in a mock-incestuous relationship1 the older mate1 seeking safety in a union with an immature human being1 the younger mate in a union with the parent image4 ,in one case which ,i have in mind1 the husband1 fifty-five years old1 had been several times on the verge of exposure for unlawful liberties he took with very young girls4 ,the wife1 a few days after her father's death1 married the old man who had been her father's associate and who had tried to seduce her when she was barely ten4 ,she visited me when a new scandal in which her husband became implicated caused her to leave him4 ,she was considerably mixed up for1 while young men had begun to attract her1 she felt extremely self-conscious in their presence and could only enjoy herself in the company of elderly men who1 in turn1 reminded her too much of the nightmare thru which she had lived for two years4 ,a pious ,catholic1 she solved the conflict prematurely1 before ,i had time to bring insight into her mind1 by fleeing from all sorts of men and into a convent4 ,other cases have a less tragic history3 ,a young woman of twenty-eight who had never been happy with her husband1 7thirty71 took advantage of the numberless opportunities war work and war drives gave to women1 to become faithless to her husband4 ,she had four short-lived affairs with men twice her age1 then broke down when her husband secured a divorce for adultery4 ,analysis gave her insight into her father fixation which was not very deep and might never have driven her into overt acts but for the unusual conditions in which she found herself4 ,she is now happily remarried to a man of her age4 ,what the ,community ,says4 ,mates whose ages are out of proportion1 are often thrown into deep discord by the pressure of the community's criticism4 ,they might thrive on a desert island or on a farm or1 as in the case of an explorer ,i knew1 when surrounded almost continuously by an inferior race whose opinion they can easily disregard4 ,the community's smiles or open disapproval1 on the other hand1 are a heavy burden1 especially for the more neurotic mate1 who is likely to feel very self-conscious in everything he or she does4 ,the too young wife and the too young husband may at first smile when hotel clerks1 shopkeepers1 chauffeurs1 etc41 allude to their aged mate as your father or your mother4 ,after a while1 a feeling of embarrassment will get the best of their sense of humor4 ,shame and humiliation will soon set in when those mistakes are repeated frequently4 ,when the ego is wounded by love complications1 unless the individual is a pronounced masochist1 love fares very badly4 ,it turns into hatred for the mate causing the humiliating remarks1 as unconscious incest ideas gradually break into consciousness and provoke protective measures1 critical attitudes1 disgust1 etc4 ,in one case which came under my observation1 the community's criticisms worked as effectively as psychoanalytic treatment would have4 ,having ,her ,fixation-,fling4 ,a young woman married to a man of her age1 but discontented and frigid1 had a passing liaison with an elderly man1 which exposed her to many jeers on the part of her associates who suspected it4 ,she was very intelligent and well acquainted with psychoanalytical literature and only consulted me to make sure of her correct diagnosis of her own case4 ,she did the proper thing under the circumstances1 confessed a part of the truth to her husband1 went away with him for a while and has been happy with him ever since4 ,she had had her fixation fling as she called it1 had sown her neurotic wild oats and ridden herself of a morbid element which may never bother her again4 ,this sort of solution1 however1 is one which is neither scientific nor safe1 for the person affected by a fixation of that morbid sort is at the mercy of a recurrence of it1 should life's problems compel him to seek once more the line of exaggerated safety and regression to the childish level of conduct4 ,physical ,results4 ,if matches between the young and old were successful physically and otherwise1 they would be extremely beneficial to the older mate4 ,normal sexual stimulation1 far from driving the aged to an early grave1 as old time puritans have taught us1 is probably the most potent factor of rejuvenation4 ,the ,steinach operation which enables the hormone-producing cells of the gonads to overdevelop at the expense of the seminiferous cells1 seems1 when successful1 to confer new youth upon the entire organism4 ,lorand1 ,stekel1 ,hufeland and others hold that sexual activity in the old1 when it is possible1 is conducive to longevity4 ,lorand mentions many interesting cases in which remarriage at incredibly advanced ages seemed in no way to curtail one's life span4 ,thomas ,parr1 who died at #afb1 was arrested for assault at #ajb and married again at #abj4 ,the ,dane ,drackenberg1 who died at #aej1 married at #aaa a woman of #fj1 became a widower at #acj1 and tried to woo a young peasant girl who1 however1 refused to accept him4 ,peter ,albrecht1 who died at #abc1 married again at #hj and had seven children4 ,gurgon ,duglas1 who died at #abj1 married at #he and had #h children1 the youngest one being born when the father was #ajc4 ,baron ,baravicion ds ,capelles died at #ajd1 having had four wives1 the last one whom he married when #hj4 ,lorand adds that1 according to his observations1 old people with an erotic temperament have a better chance of survival than cold blooded ones4 ,hufeland says that married people live much longer than the unmarried and that no bachelor was ever known to reach a ripe age4 ,the sudden bloom and general appearance of rejuvenation of old maids finally finding a mate1 of widows who remarry and of neglected wives who give themselves to a potent lover1 is a good physiological argument why winter should try to seek the violent stimulation of a union with spring4 ,the ,fate of the ,younger ,mate4 ,the younger mate1 however1 can hardly hope to escape unscathed when going thru such an experience4 ,the old are benefited because their muscles1 nerves1 glands1 etc41 imitate the attitudes and behavior of the younger mate's organs and become accordingly younger4 ,the same process of imitation is at work in the younger mate and the damage done to him or her is naturally great1 altho not always obvious at first4 ,his or her younger organism1 less experience-laden1 and hence more elastic and more responsive1 adapts itself more quickly to the ways of old age than old age adapts itself to the ways of youth4 ,even in cases when the gratification seems to be mutual1 the damage done to the younger mate reveals itself thru neurotic disturbances4 ,a man of thirty-five consulted for anxiety states1 nightmares1 nervous gastric troubles1 etc4 ,he had been living since his twentieth year with a woman twenty years his senior1 in fact1 a friend and schoolmate of his mother's4 ,he called her ,mama and she called him ,sonny4 ,while1 according to his statements1 their sexual life was absolutely normal and satisfying1 the repressed incest-fear lurking in his unconscious betrayed itself thru a nightmare which disturbed his sleep with alarming frequency3 ,i am at the foot of marble stairs4 ,a female figure is standing at the top1 a relative1 perhaps my mother4 ,she extends her hand to me to help me up the stairs1 but that hand is so weak that it cannot hold me and then ,i am frightened by a powerful male figure1 a man in authority1 perhaps my father1 coming toward me from the side4 ,altho the man was physically satisfied1 the split in his unconscious made him very irritable1 restless and an unpleasant companion for his mama to whom he made endless scenes for trifling reasons4 ,king ,david4 ,in ,biblical days when ,king ,david grew old1#b his ministers besought themselves of the following remedy3 they found a young virgin and let her lie in his bosom in the hope that the dying man might be revived by her contact4 ,even that availed nothing4 ,in our days1 however1 we have come to prize human life and happiness more highly and young virgins shall not be sacrificed1 being the new generation and the future1 to the welfare of some modern ,king ,david who is the past4 ,the young women in our midst1 virgins or others1 whom a morbid obsession draws to the bosom of some ,king ,david must be saved from the winter chill that awaits them4 ,modern psychology holds the key opening for them the door to freedom and normal love4 ,,chapter ,,xxvii ,,negative ,,love ,the only form of love which is positive is complete love1 which gratifies both the physical and the mental aspects of the organism and which1 besides1 is human and1 hence1 recognises and admits the relativity of all things human4 ,any form of love which excludes either the physical or the mental relationship of male and female1 is incomplete and1 therefore1 abnormal4 ,all the puritanical rant to the contrary notwithstanding1 platonic love and prostitution are on the same biological level1 as morbid and unnatural one as the other4 ,prostitution only gratifies the body more or less completely and starves the mind1 causing the mental aspect of the love craving to become stunted or perverse4 ,platonic love gratifies the intellect more or less completely1 rather less than more1 for it offers few egotistical rewards1 but it starves the body and leads it into adopting morbid forms of craving gratification4 ,a ,clean ,life4 ,many a patient has declared proudly to me that he led a clean life4 ,a few days later1 after losing his selfconsciousness in my presence1 he would gradually confess to a terrible struggle against his animal instincts4 ,which meant1 that at irregular intervals1 self-gratification would give him1 in a morbid day dream1 the woman whose love he craved2 or a pollution dream would allow him1 in the unconsciousness and ethical irresponsibility of sleep1 to make up for his privations by indulging in imaginary promiscuous cohabitation4 ,this is in too many cases1 the seamy side of a platonic love affair1 when one or both of the mates is not naturally unsexed but unsexes himself thru what he or she calls will-power and which analysis reveals to be conscious or unconscious fear4 ,this is the meaning of love plus continence4 ,in the majority of cases its damage stops there4 ,in a few cases1 however1 especially when the sex cravings of one of the mates have been so successfully repressed that they are no longer experienced consciously1 symbolical nightmares of the most exhausting kind1 hysterical disturbances during the waking hours1 compulsions and obsessions of all sorts1 reveal to the psychoanalyst that lava is boiling under the apparently extinct cone of a safe volcano4 ,the platonic individual1 like the puritan1 is either oversexed or undersexed4 ,the oversexed must surround themselves with protective measures lest their violent cravings may lead them into socially punishable acts4 ,the simplest neurotic expedient is to utter a complete denial1 whenever possible a public one1 of the existence of sexual cravings1 and then to be forced by one's statements into living up to an absurd self-imposed standard4 ,utterances and ,conduct4 ,this at times results in most grotesque conflicts between utterance and conduct4 ,we see for instance the much married ,mrs4 ,eddy who as the witty ,theodore ,schroeder remarked1 had many more husbands than children1 stating that the pleasures of the flesh are always wrong unless the physiologic factor can be excluded from consciousness 7a rather cryptic sentence7 and also that generation rests on no sexual basis4 ,thy hysteric whose volcanic outbursts supply her with a morbid sexual relief for which she rejects all responsibility1 for she is unconscious at the time is generally in her private and public life a woman of great repressions and perfect behavior1 likely to sneer at every mention of a sex urge4 ,in other cases1 platonic love is an attempt at creating an artificial value thru destroying a natural1 biological human function4 ,oracles and ,prophecies4 ,in ancient times it was observed that people deprived of any sexual gratification made at times mysterious utterances which were considered as an emanation of some divine intelligence4 ,those utterances were nothing but hysterical ravings1 accepted as oracles1 prophecies1 etc4 ,our praise of continence1 practiced even when it is unnecessary1 7as in the case of lawfully married mates71 is1 after all1 a survival of such superstitious beliefs based on misunderstood morbid phenomena4 ,modern science1 especially the new science of endocrinology1 has shown that to every display of sexual activity corresponds an outpouring of hormonic secretions which benefits the entire system4 ,can ,we ,save ,our ,vital ,force8 ,once upon a time it was assumed that continence enabled people to save their vital force1 to preserve the resources of their body4 ,we know now that the gonads produce two secretions1 one which would pass out of the body in any event1 and one which flows directly in the blood and is the only one which can benefit the organism4 ,the various puritanical theories as to the great value of continence had been shaken many times by evidence from the biography of all the great writers1 artists1 philosophers1 inventors and other men and women who have left the world much enriched by their creative labor and at the same time indulged freely in the pleasures of the flesh4 ,sublimation4 ,endocrinology strikes now the last blow at those theories1 one of which by the way1 was ,freud's romantic hypothesis of the sublimation4 ,freud believed that sexual energy could be diverted towards social ends of greater value and non-sexual in character4 ,this is scientifically absurd1 as it disregards the dualism of glandular secretions4 ,the outward secretions cannot be saved and the inner secretions which are beyond our control flow directly into the blood stream4 ,i have shown in another book1 ,sex ,happiness that the platonic man is either the victim of his ignorance of sex matters and of ascetic superstitions which modern physiology can no longer countenance1 or a physiologically deficient individual4 ,the heroes of ,beresford's ,god's ,counterpoint and of ,may ,sinclair's ,the ,romantic whom ,i analised in ,sex ,happiness correspond to the first and the second of those types1 respectively4 ,the ,sexless4 ,there are men and women1 of course1 of the hypogonadal type1 undersexed or sexless1 who are capable of deep affection for a person of the opposite sex4 ,that such an affection never culminates in complete physical communion is easily understood4 ,sexual failures discourage the weaker friend from risking any more experiments likely to result in humiliation4 ,the sexless man is practically a woman1 and like certain homosexuals1 treats women as members of his own sex4 ,he may make a pleasant1 delicate1 safe companion1 but no woman should allow herself to care for him4 ,frigid ,women who never experience any thrill in their husband's embrace and hence consider the physical communion as an indecent act forgivable in a husband only1 as it is a part of the marriage arrangement1 may love a man very deeply and yet never feel the urge to surrender their body to him4 ,here again we have to deal with ignorance or neurosis or both4 ,the frigid woman1 as ,i explained elsewhere is generally a neurotic1 7perhaps made so by unpleasant first sexual experiences and her mate's failure to awaken her normal erotism71 who is afraid of life1 of its biological duties1 of responsibility1 of submission to a man's will1 etc41 and burdened with some unconscious incest fixation on her father1 or homosexual fixation on her mother1 etc4 ,her platonic attitude in love is due to numberless unconscious fears which are a strong bulwark against temptation4 ,ideal ,love4 ,another form of negativism in love which receives no little amount of praise at the hands of the romantically silly and of the ill-informed1 is the quest of the ideal love4 ,we meet men and women1 sometimes of mature years1 who tell us with a great deal of pride that they never married because they could not find the right mate4 ,i will not deny that in rare cases this may be considered a perfectly valid reason1 pointing to no morbid disposition on the part of the unwillingly single person4 ,marriage might have implied mating with a member of an erotically indifferent race1 ,african or ,asiatic2 isolation in a remote farming community where a refined woman could only select a mate from among primitive laborers1 or in mining regions like some ,alaska camps1 where the only women available at times are prostitutes4 ,barring such legitimate exceptions1 which to my mind1 imply however1 a suspicious indifference to securing a mate1 the seeker for an ideal mate is almost always neurotic4 ,protective ,measures4 ,by setting his goal very high1 he is protected against the danger of finding a mate and assuming life's responsibilities1 increased as they would be by normal sexual activities4 ,this is done in various ways1 thru exaggerated social expectations1 or thru unreasonable economic demands1 or through morbid criticism of the possible mate4 ,a working girl may set her heart on marrying none but a ,prince ,charming who could by no chance whatsoever be attracted by her appearance or her manners1 unless he himself were a neurotic seeking safety in a union with a socially inferior mate 7students marrying waitresses1 etc474 ,newspapers publish enough news of such matches to supply the neurotic woman with a reasonable rationalisation of her fear of matrimony4 ,some poor1 unattractive young man may likewise decide never to marry unless he may secure as his bride a woman whom her social position makes unattainable4 ,here again1 unions of heiresses with menials supply the rationalisation4 ,some unattractive women may make such financial demands on the man seeking their affection that no one will have the courage to tempt them away from their single-blessedness4 ,lovers of the ,absolute4 ,there are individuals of a much more pathological type still1 who refuse to recognise and accept the relativity of all things human1 who seek absolute beauty1 perfection1 intelligence1 understanding1 sympathy in their future mate and who grow discouraged and depressed when they unavoidably discover flaws in every companion of the opposite sex4 ,in certain cases that obsession of the perfect detail is a symptom of insanity4 ,cartoonists have often amused themselves and us by representing famous men and women with their features so distorted that their distant likeness to some animal is emphasized4 ,i have observed the same distortion in neurotics to whom that delusion brought no humorous enjoyment but on the contrary deep suffering4 ,a ,troublesome ,patient4 ,one of my patients a handsome young man of twenty-six1 had had very ephemeral affairs with several women and left them abruptly when he suddenly discovered in their features a likeness to certain animals1 pigs1 dogs1 monkeys1 etc4 ,after which he could never be prevailed upon to see them again4 ,one morning he called on me1 announcing coolly that he had decided to shoot me4 ,i invited him to sit down and discuss his plans more fully before carrying them out1 and also to mention some of his reasons for that somewhat radical decision4 ,he explained to me1 with his right hand annoyingly buried in his coat pocket1 that he had been in love for a few weeks1 with a very attractive girl4 ,recently1 he had noticed something in her profile which distantly resembled a pig's snout4 ,the night before1 while he was in her company1 he suddenly saw her head transformed into a pig's head4 ,he fled from her rooms in terror and disgust and1 attributing his clear insight into her true nature to my psychoanalytic teachings1 had decided to save others from my baneful influence by killing me4 ,as is usually the case with maniacs1 a quiet conversation cast doubts in his mind4 ,i told him that ,i did not approve of his plans which might1 however1 be excellent1 but that1 as ,i was really a biased adviser in that matter1 he should discuss them with an impartial third party4 ,he then decided to call on ,dr4 ,everett ,dean ,martin who advised him to take a rest cure and escorted him to ,bellevue ,hospital4 ,the poor boy's transfer to the ,state ,asylum has put an end to his search for the ideal love4 ,that search was a disguised flight from women and love1 his delusion was an effective measure of protection against temptation4 ,nothing but the absolute could satisfy him in a woman4 ,relativity was abhorrent to him4 ,every seeker for the ideal love has gone a few steps along the road which led my poor patient into the house of the living dead4 ,higher ,aspirations4 ,neurotics of that type are plausible for they compensate for their fear and their inferiority with a pride based upon higher aspirations1 greater delicacy of feelings1 an aristocratic nature or the tell-tale statement that their mother's beautiful character1 their father's noble nature makes every man or woman appear very inferior in their eyes4 ,proud of certain characteristics of theirs which they cannot help having1 they childishly display an egotism and selfishness which makes them at times very ridiculous1 for it says indirectly3 ,nobody is quite good enough for me4 ,when the search for ideal love results in nervous states due to egotistical starvation1 psychoanalysis can help greatly by giving the neurotic insight into the fear of life or the parent-fixation which is at the bottom of his romantic aspirations4 ,,chapter ,,xxviii ,,the ,,new ,,woman ,,and ,,love ,how will love fare at the hands of the new woman8 ,the old forms of love will naturally be as unbearable to her as the steel corsets of a forgotten generation4 ,yet the problem is not so very pressing1 for the truly new woman is still an almost insignificant factor1 numerically speaking1 in every community4 ,even in the professions and trades of a distinctly masculine character which woman has recently invaded1 we meet constantly the mock-modern person1 who under a veneer of modernity1 still harbors all the superstitions1 and exhibits all the mannerisms of the old fashioned woman4 ,being old-fashioned in love1 as in every other activity of life1 presents a great temptation to the lazy1 the unintelligent1 the neurotic4 ,it is an excuse for all sorts of unethical forms of conduct1 for failure or inactivity1 and yet carries with itself a deceptive air of mock refinement and distinction4 ,the woman who boasts of being old fashioned can misbehave and retain for years her husband's or her environment's confidence in her purity4 ,being old fashioned1 she is assumed by all to be a little simple and silly at times1 but unlikely to ever cross certain boundaries4 ,at the same time1 she can pass cruel judgments on all the trangressors who have not been as shrewd or lucky as she4 ,as a basis for a discussion of the extent to which love will affect the modern woman and modern woman affect love1 ,i shall select the picture drawn by ,george ,bernard ,shaw in ,mc,call's ,magazine for ,october #aibj of the woman of the new generation4 ,what ,women ,had to ,do ,recently1 ,shaw writes1 was not to repudiate their femininity but to assert its social value1 not to ape masculinity but to demonstrate its insufficiency4 ,this was the point of my play ,candida in which it is made quite plain that the husband's masculine career would go to pieces without the wife's feminine activity4 ,as refinement was supposed to be proper to women and roughness proper to men fifty years ago1 the great increase in companionship between men and women during that period was bound either to refine the men or roughen the women4 ,it has done both4 ,the feminine refinement which was only silliness disguised by affection has gone2 and women are hardier and healthier1 and the stock sizes of their clothes are larger in consequence4 ,the masculine vigor that was only boorishness1 slovenliness and neglect of person and clothes has fled before feminine criticism4 ,but the ,generalisation ,that ,women are ,refined and ,men ,rough by ,nature is a superficial one1 holding good only when1 as often happens1 the man's occupation is rougher than the woman's4 ,the natural woman cannot afford to be as fastidious as the natural man2 if she shirked all the unpleasantness that he escapes1 the race would perish4 ,as a matter of fact1 there are coarse women and coarse men1 refined women and refined men2 and there is no reason to suppose that the proportions differ in the two sexes4 ,there is1 ,however1 a ,rebellion against ,nature in the matter of the very unequal share of the burden of reproduction which falls to men and women in civilized communities4 ,i say civilized communities advisedly1 because the extremely artificial life of the modern lady has the effect of making her natural functions pathological4 ,whether the rebellion has been going on ever since ladies were invented ,i do not know1 because history is silent on the subject1 as it is on so many specifically feminine subjects4 ,but ,i can testify that among women brought up amid the feminist movement of the second half of the nineteenth century there was a revolt against maternity which went deeper than that revolt against excessive maternity which has led to birth control4 ,these more thoroughgoing rebels objected to the whole process1 from the occasional event itself to the more permanent conditions it imposes4 ,it is easy to dismiss this as monstrous and silly1 but the modern conception of creative evolution forbids us to dismiss any development as impossible if it becomes the subject of an aspiration4 ,there is no limit to the truth of the old saying that where there is a will there is a way1 and though for the moment a refusal to accept the existing conditions of reproduction would mean race suicide1 the rebels against nature may be the pioneers of evolutionary changes which may finally dispose of the less pleasant incidents of nutrition1 and make reproduction a process external to the parents in its more burdensome phases1 as it now is in many existent species4 ,the ,entrance of ,woman into ,commercial ,life has trained her no longer to expect something for nothing 7exchangeable7 and to realize that a bargain1 to be satisfactory1 an agreement1 to be lasting1 must be based on mutual advantages to both parties4 ,love1 with the old fashioned1 began with a struggle of wits between the sexes1 the man trying to conquer without granting any advantages to the defeated1 woman trying to wear out her opponent and make him yield more and more advantages before she finally paid up4 ,on one side1 fear of financial burdens1 at the other end1 fear of desertion and pregnancy1 suspicion and cruelty4 ,the sex struggle with its disgusting features of hypocrisy1 pretence1 duplicity1 misrepresentation1 denial of biological facts1 etc41 has yielded to an agreement1 much as the robber system of past ages has been replaced by commercial transactions which leave no hatred and no desire for vengeance in their wake4 ,was ,it a ,sacrifice8 ,the old-fashioned woman1 wife or mistress1 assuming the position of the conquered and defeated1 claimed infinite privileges as an offset to what she has given up1 sacrificed1 yielded4 ,she humiliated her conqueror by pretending that his body or his caresses were not the equal of hers1 and that she only submitted to his desire1 without much pleasure1 compelled by his low instincts4 ,the modern woman1 conversant with the facts of sex1 and no longer having to create an artificial value for her body based on disregard of biological facts1 since her activities1 mental and physical1 now command a definite price on the market place1 seeks a partner with whom she will exchange caresses leading1 as she recognises without silly shame1 to mutual gratification4 ,the ,pursuit4 ,the old-fashioned woman1 who always assumed the passive role in life and who1 supposedly indifferent to the pleasures of the flesh1 ran away1 actually or figuratively1 from the brutal pursuer1 played a preposterous dual part in the pre-love skirmishes4 ,who has never encountered the woman who wears in a public place some dress which reveals a great deal of her bust1 and yet who pretends to be offended if some man stares at what she has exposed in order to attract his stare8 ,the modern woman whose worth is determined1 not by the male's eroticism in her presence1 but by her accomplishments1 can afford to be frank1 honest1 if not1 at times1 aggressive1 in the love search4 ,the ,passing of ,respectable ,prostitution4 ,the old-fashioned woman1 having created the artificial value of womanhood as such1 indulged in a mild1 genteel form of prostitution1 which1 having no consequences likely to impose a burden on the community1 7pregnancy1 childbirth7 never was criticised very severely4 ,she sold her company for meals1 theatre tickets1 comfortable transportation1 flowers1 trinkets4 ,now and then1 developing a streak of fairness and honesty1 she would grant the man she exploited small privileges of a superficial kind4 ,but the real old-fashioned girl was of the absolutely sordid type1 who could allow a more or less repellent suitor to spend considerable sums to amuse her but would express genuine indignation at the thought that the man could be as sordid as she was1 and expect some caresses in return4 ,the modern woman1 made independent financially by her non-sexual activities1 can remove from her love all taint of even mild commercialism1 returning favors in kind1 or accepting presents1 no longer as a bribe1 but as a token of affection on the part of a man she loves4 ,the ,abettor of ,ethical ,sins4 ,the old fashioned wife was in many more cases than superficial thinking would cause us to imagine1 a more dangerous corrupter of public and private morality than the prostitute4 ,numerically the wife predominates4 ,the prostitute constitutes a very small minority of the population of large cities and does not thrive in small town1 villages or farming communities4 ,louis ,berman1 who is generally very indifferent to psychology1 makes a very valuable remark in his book on glands3 ,consider1 he writes1 the unimportance of a collective purpose to the woman whose career is the mate and then the mate's career4 ,which means that the woman who takes up wifehood as a profession has no social morality4 ,her husband is her oyster and the world must in turn be her husband's oyster4 ,she knows only one thing3 that she must support her mate in anything he does so long as his activities1 be they even immoral or criminal1 provide food and shelter for her and her children4 ,she cares not what he does as long as he succeeds4 ,she founds her estimate of success upon visible accomplishment4 ,getting theirs1 to her is preferable to getting there4 ,she1 in short1 is a foe to the world1 as the world is the foe her mate has set out to capture and rob4 ,she willingly sells his ethics to buy success and1 at the same time1 is loud in her denunciation of public1 self-confessed prostitutes4 ,she would not prostitute herself but she lightheartedly prostitutes her mate4 ,the modern woman can in an emergency help her husband financially and thus enable him to follow the dictates of social ethics4 ,she will thereby earn deeper love and respect from him than by any willingness to stand by him in crooked deals4 ,health ,versus ,sickness4 ,to the old fashioned wife1 weakness and sickness were invaluable assets4 ,sickness excused laziness and capriciousness4 ,sickness was a bait for petting and at the same time1 a protection against unwelcome physical intimacies4 ,her menstruation became a mysterious1 offensive1 painful process which debarred her from many careers she never thought of entering1 saved her from duties she was only too glad to shirk4 ,undismayed by the sight of professional women1 singers1 actresses1 dancers1 divers1 etc41 who not only never seemed disabled by the dreaded period but also held a distinct fascination to males in spite of their lack of neurotic femininity1 she prided herself in living up to ,michelet's asinine description of woman1 an invalid twelve times unclean4 ,the modern woman seeking accomplishment of the positive type1 scorns the negative superiority which sickness and invalidism assure to neurotics4 ,she has acquired a more scientific knowledge of sex matters and the superstitious fears surrounding menstruation no longer affect her4 ,from my own clinical experience1 ,i am compelled to agree heartily with ,dr4 ,josephine ,a4 ,jackson and ,helen ,m4 ,salisbury1 who in their very fine and practical book ,outwitting our ,nerves state that ninety-five out of a hundred cases of painful menstruation are caused by fear and expectation of pain4 ,the ,passing of the ,doll4 ,the modern woman1 active1 self reliant1 honest and healthy1 will force out of existence a type which has lent much picturesque charm to social gatherings and to pictorial art1 the doll type of woman1 prettiness incarnate1 of rose leaf charm1 unfit for any biological function except the mild lovemaking1 not so much of a husband1 as of a lover4 ,tuberculous poets and composers of the ,musset and ,chopin type1 affected pictorial artists like ,helleu1 will deplore her disappearance4 ,man1 put at his ease by the modern woman1 who does not require constant protection1 mental and physical1 will find the doll too much trouble4 ,only the very stupid and unmanly man will cultivate her for she will not throw his physical shortcomings into too striking relief and it will not require any mental exertion on his part to converse with her4 ,the ,passing of the ,flirt4 ,the flirt is doomed4 ,the flirt is a rather unintelligent woman with a mild prostitution complex4 ,she has been trained from infancy to consider a woman's career as successful when the woman fastens to herself a breadwinner whom she holds by his physical desire of her body4 ,having never acquired any market value outside of the sexual field1 she must constantly test her powers and reassure herself by leading all sorts and conditions of men1 for whom she may never experience even the slightest fancy1 into consequential overt acts revealing that she has awakened their eroticism4 ,anyone will do1 provided she reads in his eyes the verdict3 ,i am still attractive4 ,the terror of growing old is not so overwhelming to the modern woman who has acquired a non-sexual market value4 ,she tests herself thru positive accomplishment1 leadership1 principally1 and does not need to keep her eye constantly on the sex thermometer4 ,modesty1 ,old and ,new4 ,knowledge which dispels physical ghosts and a positive self-valuation based on accomplishment will cause the modern woman to discard the old fashioned modesty which was supposed to be her greatest attraction1 and which husbands1 while being obviously attracted by immodest women1 encouraged in their wives as a bulwark against the advances of other men4 ,havelock ,ellis in his ,impressions and ,comments contrasts cleverly thru two striking illustrations the old-fashioned type1 worshipping at the altar of false modesty1 and the modern type1 who is no longer ashamed of her body or her sex3 ,in one of my books ,i had occasion to mention the case1 communicated to me1 of a woman in ,italy who preferred to perish in the flames1 when the house was on fire1 rather than shock her modesty by coming out of it without her clothes4 ,so far as it has been within my power ,i have always sought to place bombs beneath the world in which that woman lived1 so that it might altogether go up in flames4 ,i read of a troop ship torpedoed in the ,mediterranean and almost immediately sunk within sight of land4 ,a nurse was still on deck4 ,she proceeded to strip1 saying to the men about her3 ',excuse me1 boys1 ,i must save the ,tommies4' ,she swam around and saved a dozen of them4 ,that woman belongs to my world4 ,now and again ,i have come across the like1 sweet and feminine and daring women who have done things as brave as that1 and even much braver because more complexly difficult and always ,i feel my heart swinging like a censer before them1 going up in a perpetual fragrance of love and adoration4 ,i dream of a world in which the spirits of women are flames stronger than fire1 a world in which modesty has become courage and yet remains modesty1 a world in which women are as unlike men as ever they were in the world ,i sought to destroy1 a world in which women shine with a loveliness of self-revelation as enchanting as ever the old legends told1 and yet a world which would immeasurably transcend the old world in the self sacrificing passion of human service4 ,thus far ,i have presented the silver lining of what some timid persons call the cloud of modernism in love4 ,to be perfectly fair and honest1 ,i must now mention the cloud itself1 altho1 like all clouds1 it will soon blow away or resolve itself into a few drops of water1 tears1 perhaps1 also of a temporary nature4 ,the ,unadapted ,woman4 ,the sudden rise of women in certain fields of activity has left quite a number of them unpleasantly unadapted4 ,certain positions1 well filled by women1 and which pay rather high salaries1 demand but a modicum of intellectual development1 little culture or manners4 ,the women who fill them1 and who generally come from the working class1 financially well off1 accustomed to expensive clothes and to respectful treatment on the part of their coworkers or employers1 are loath to enter a married relationship or even a liaison1 with men of their social set1 that is1 having the same culture or lack of culture1 for those men are financially lower and lack certain manners which they expect to find in their environment4 ,a husband of the working class type could not1 in case of pregnancy1 give such a woman the comfort which she now craves4 ,motherhood would deprive her1 temporarily at least1 from an income which nothing could replace4 ,nor could she become subservient to a husband after being very independent and having become slightly snobbish on account of the attentions she has received from men financially superior to her4 ,some of those women whom ,i have known1 and whose profession ,i shall not mention to avoid references of an odious character1 sought mates1 legitimate or illegitimate1 out of their class1 taking for husbands or lovers unsuccessful professional men in need of help4 ,the results of those matches were anything but encouraging4 ,the male prostitutes who accepted such arrangements1 either showed plainly their scorn of their unintellectual mate or left her as soon as success in their chosen field made them independent of their working class wife or mistress4 ,the ,proud ,husband4 ,many men drawing even small salaries1 are absolutely unwilling to marry a woman engaged in a gainful occupation4 ,this is due either to hidden jealousy1 some men imagining that daily contact with other men is bound to jeopardise a woman's morals1 or to silly pride and panicky fear of what ,,they will say4 ,i have heard many donkeys telling me that they do not wish people to think that they cannot support their wives4 ,the cloud hovering over the modern woman and which may1 at times1 cast a shadow on her love life1 will be blown away as soon as culture spreads to all social classes of the population owing to the increase and systematisation of leisure1 and as soon as the old fashioned male has been consigned to his last resting place or analised out of his foolish neurotic notions4 ,,chapter ,,xxix ,,birth ,,control ,modern love1 as ,i have endeavored to show in the preceding chapters is infinitely more complex than love was in the past4 ,when woman was meant to obey and serve1 when feudalism or any other rigid caste system set clear-cut boundaries to each individual's range of development1 there was less unrest among women just as there was less unrest among slaves4 ,and both the mediaeval slave and the mediaeval women were probably absolute bores4 ,unrest is growth and complexity is the obvious evidence of growth4 ,love stirrings among the amoebae are probably similar to those experienced by human beings4 ,nature probably puts a premium of pleasure on the cleavage of the unicellular animal which reproduces itself by dividing itself in two1 by issuing forth another cell1 as it does on the human male when his gonads liberate spermatozoa4 ,but the amoeba's love feelings are extremely simple and lead to no complication for they imply no enduring companionship1 no responsibilities to a mate nor to the offspring4 ,what ,we ,expect of the ,modern ,woman4 ,the modern woman who is expected to be1 not merely a sexual mate but a social and intellectual mate as well1 a companion in our athletic diversions1 a comrade-at-arms in the world's battles1 and many other things1 can no longer allow chance to interrupt her developmental strivings1 to handicap her in the friendly race she is running with the mate of her choice for intellectual accomplishment by unexpected1 unwelcome1 inconvenient pregnancy and child bearing4 ,every child claims two years of its mother's life and it seems reasonable that the mother should have something to say as to what number that chapter will bear in her biography4 ,as only the very weak-minded or very hypocritical offer as a remedy for frequent pregnancy male continence1 we shall not even consider for one minute such an absurd1 abnormal1 biologically immoral solution4 ,the ,only ,solution4 ,the only other solution which has ever been proposed is a system of sexual enlightenment which will enable a woman to prevent pregnancy until such time when she feels that she can in justice to herself and to her offspring bear a child1 and will1 further1 enable her to have an abortion performed when1 in spite of all contraceptive measures1 pregnancy has begun4 ,this solution has been adopted by the entire civilised world1 and in fact1 ,i might say that the degree of civilisation of a race or nation can be accurately gauged by the number of individuals within that race or nation practicing birth control4 ,with very few exceptions1 a large family betokens stupidity1 poverty and ignorance4 ,it is the poor1 the stupid and the ignorant who are burdened with children and1 in turn1 that burden keeps them stupid1 poor and ignorant4 ,a vicious circle which seems hard to break4 ,the ,human ,milch ,cow4 ,many a time when beholding some miserable female from the slums wrecked by repeated childbearing1 dwarfed in mind1 deformed in body1 ,i have felt that sexual relations between her and her mate had probably reached the level at which they could only by an unusual stretch of one's imagination1 be even distantly connected with love4 ,to her and to her mate1 every embrace1 except after the onset of pregnancy1 meant added suffering1 added expense1 further physical degradation and decay4 ,since the nice people1 however1 know the remedy and apply it1 why bother any longer8 ,because1 while normally intelligent men and women know how to avoid pregnancy and to whom to turn when an accident happens1 the greatest uncertainty about contraception obsesses their minds and panicky fears bring about many catastrophes when the unwelcome fruit must be removed from the mother's body4 ,thousands of men and woman1 enlightened in the mysteries of contraception by some one who is little less ignorant than themselves1 are chilled in their enjoyment of lawful love by the thought of possible danger4 ,many women accept their husbands caresses in fear and trembling and many1 imagining that there is a close connection between orgasm and pregnancy succeed in making themselves frigid1 which leads to neurotic disturbances in the wife and unhappiness for both mates4 ,many husbands never dare to let themselves go unless it be in the arms of a prostitute who is wise and can take care of herself4 ,many a woman has deceived her husband because a wise man of the world assured her that she ran no risk of pregnancy in his arms4 ,the ,nightmare of ,abortion4 ,and1 if in spite of all1 an accident happens1 what is the mental state of the woman who calls at the unethical practitioner's office8 ,while such an operation practiced with a modicum of skill may be harmless1 the dread fear of possible consequences is quite able to kill the woman4 ,fear may bring forth any morbid symptom1 from an embolus to violent suppuration4 ,fear1 on the other hand1 on which the advocates of suppressive measures rely1 hardly ever leads anyone to continence or prevents any one from resorting to abortion4 ,legal obstacles to contraceptive education attain only one result4 ,they make married love risky and unpleasant1 kill many a young woman and1 in the case of neurotic mothers1 allow one morbid generation to bring into this world another morbid generation4 ,the ,plight of the ,neurotic ,woman4 ,many neurotic women imagine that they hate their husbands and rationalise that hatred by bringing up many absurd1 imaginary charges against them4 ,to them their husbands symbolise pregnancy4 ,many neurotic mothers1 who did not wish to bear another child1 often compensate for their lack of real love for the unwelcome child by an absurd1 exaggerated tenderness which spoils the child or develops morbid fears 7the fear they might hurt or kill the child1 fear as to the child's health or welfare7 which wreck the child's mental balance and not infrequently land the mother in a sanatarium4 ,a neurotic woman ,i treated was obsessed by the fear that she might some day kill her husband and children4 ,several years ago she had had an abortion performed by a midwife whom she did not trust4 ,septic poisoning set in and she hovered between life and death for several months4 ,a great fear of death drove her into reading many religious books4 ,she came to the conclusion that she had committed a murder4 ,but her husband1 having impregnated her1 was more guilty than she1 for he was the cause of it all4 ,hence1 her insane logic added1 he and she would be better off dead than leading a sinful life4 ,she should1 therefore1 kill him and kill herself4 ,furthermore1 her children being the offspring of murderers1 must be themselves tainted with criminal tendencies and should also be saved from a life of crime4 ,when she was brought to me she had attempted to kill the entire family by turning on the gas faucets all over the house about two o'clock in the morning4 ,the lawmakers who prevented that woman from having an operation performed legally1 7which would remove the fear of crime7 safely1 by a reputable practitioner1 7which would remove the fear of consequences71 openly1 7which would remove the fear of social ostracism71 would have been responsible for the death of several people1 had she not accidentally awakened her husband by upsetting a chair on her way back to her bed4 ,there are thousands of neurotics1 suffering from a feeling of inferiority1 who are unfit to become mothers until their morbidity has been cured by psychotherapy1 and who1 if allowed to bear children1 will train a new generation to behave in a negative1 neurotic1 socially baneful way4 ,the ,children of ,neurotic ,mothers1 in whom the fear and hatred of sex and love is rampant1 will some day become prostitutes or puritans1 both of them degrading love equally4 ,i cannot follow ,freud when he states that every neurosis has its root in a failure of the love life1 but some of the artificial obstacles created by a stupid puritanical civilisation between man and the full realisation of his sexual goal have not infrequently wrecked a life which1 neurotically oriented as it was1 might have gone on1 in a socially tolerable way1 for years and perhaps until the individual's death4 ,difficulties due to the use of improper or misunderstood contraceptive appliances1 the terrors of pregnancy1 actual or expected1 the fear of abortion1 the sufferings following abortion in a complex-ridden organism1 have too often upset a balance which at best was precarious4 ,birth ,control and ,indulgence4 ,certain critics of birth control attack it on the ground that it would lead to overindulgence of the sex relationship4 ,those people are generally unprepossessing1 worn1 individuals who are trying to compensate for their sexual weakness by making a virtue out of an unavoidable inferiority4 ,their opposition to what they call overindulgence 7one thing which nature hardly ever allows1 barring rare morbid cases of priapism7 is grotesque in the case of married couples4 ,more unions are wrecked by underindulgence due to fear1 ignorance of the mates or inhibitions on the part of one or both1 than to indulgence of the normal kind4 ,anything which prevents or discourages the normal exchange of sexual caresses between those legally entitled to each others enjoyment is pernicious1 antisocial and antibiological for1 as ,grace ,potter writes3 ,mating has to do with other creation than that of new human beings4 ,it has to do with every kind of creation--a new state1 a poem1 a picture1 a great bridge1 a happier world4 ,mating is concerned with repeopling the world but also with regeneration of the individual1 opening his capacities to growth4 ,who shall say that the one is not as important as the other8 ,if the second were not as important as the first there would have been hardly any advance in human culture4 ,of all the errors incident to the development of human beings1 in their struggle to attain a consciousness that makes them more than animals1 none has had wider ill-effects than our misuse of love4 ,there are two equally unfortunate attitudes toward love which perhaps grow out of each other4 ,the one is the puritan attitude and the other is the vulgar one4 ,the puritan attitude is that sex impulses are somehow vile and so1 altho they give pleasure1 must be denied4 ,the vulgar attitude takes it for granted that sex impulses are vile but as they are pleasant are to be accepted4 ,the one tends to deny physical values to love4 ,this is suppression4 ,the other tends to deny tender values to love4 ,that is suppression also4 ,they have neither one known love4 ,and finally the puritan becomes incapable of tenderness and the vulgar becomes equally incapable of physical expression4 ,it is not a beautiful picture4 ,the healthy attitude is this3 ,the sex impulse is not degrading any more than any other impulse is4 ,it is a force as gravity is a force4 ,those human beings achieve beauty and harmony who correlate sexual impulses harmoniously with all their other impulses4#c ,in spite of the age-long teachings that sex life in itself is unclean1 ,margaret ,sanger writes in ,woman and the ,new ,race1 the world has been moving to a realization that ,a ,,great ,,love ,,between ,a ,,man ,,and ,a ,,woman ,,is ,a ,,holy ,,thing freighted with great responsibilities for spiritual growth4 ,the fear of unwanted children removed1 the assurance that she will have a sufficient amount of time in which to develop her love life to its greatest beauty1 with its comradeship in many fields--these will lift woman by the very soaring quality of her innermost self to spiritual heights that few have attained4 ,then the coming of the eagerly desired children will but enrich life in all its avenues1 rather than enslave and impoverish it as do unwanted ones to-day4 ,what healthier grounds for the growth of sound morals could possibly exist than the ample spiritual life of the woman just depicted8 ,free to follow the feminine spirit1 which dwells in the sanctuary of her nature1 she will1 in her daily life1 give expression to that high idealism which is the fruit of that spirit when it is unhampered and unviolated4 ,the love for her mate will flower in beauty of deeds that are pure because they are the natural expression of her physical1 mental and spiritual being4 ,the love for desired children will come to blossom in a spirituality that is high because it is free to reach the heights4 ,the ,moral ,force of ,woman's ,nature ,will be ,unchained1 and of its own dynamic power will uplift her to a plane unimagined by those holding fast to the old standards of church morality4 ,love is the greatest force of the universe2 freed of its bonds of submission and unwanted progeny1 it will formulate and compel of its own nature observance to standards of purity far beyond the highest conception of the average moralist4 ,the ,passing of the ,double ,standard4 ,birth ,control in philosophy and practice1 ,margaret ,sanger writes in ,,the ,,pivot ,,of ,,civilization1 is the destroyer of the dualism in the old sex code4 ,it denies that the only purpose of sexual activity is procreation2 it also denies that sex should be reduced to the level of sensual lust or that woman should permit herself to be the instrument of its satisfaction4 ,in increasing and differentiating her love demands1 woman must elevate sex into another sphere1 whereby it may subserve and enhance the possibility of individual and human expression4 ,man will gain in this no less than woman2 for in the age-old enslavement of woman he has enslaved himself2 and in the liberation of womankind1 all of humanity will experience the joys of a newer and fuller freedom4 ,,chapter ,,xxx ,,the ,,passing ,,of ,,husband ,,worship ,while thousands of healthy people1 men and women1 rejoice over the fact that woman of the modern type is coming to the fore1 there are many calamity howlers1 male and female1 who bid us pause and consider the direful consequences which they fear 7that is1 hope71 this new stage in the development of mankind will bring to the world4 ,dr4 ,arabella ,kenealy in ,feminism and ,sex ,extinction forebodes the passing of whatever is masculine in the male4 ,her arguments are not very logical but they are interesting4 ,she believes that two fates await woman unless she rids herself of contempt for functions and duties purely hers1 feminism and feministicism4 ,she is handicapped every month for two or three days by weakness or pain4 ,the craze to do men's work will result in man's emasculation4 ,the desire to figure in legislation far from stiffening the manly caliber of weak men will still further enervate them4 ,members of either sex are not capable of doing their best work while in association4 ,sex rivalries are excited4 ,sex ascendency is created4 ,man inherits from his mother some of woman's apprehension1 foresight and altruism as required to present woman's bent and viewpoint4 ,more of it would be superfluous4 ,the numerical preponderance of women must ultimately swamp masculine initiative in state affairs unless the political functions of the sexes are separated4 ,why the process should be more baneful for men than it has been for women who1 for countless generations have been decidedly swamped in state affairs is not very evident4 ,is ,man's ,virility ,declining8 ,an editorial writer in the ,new ,york ,medical ,journal also foresees degeneration ahead unless the male retains his mastery3 ,the yielding by man to the other sex of masculine essential rights and obligations is a symptom of declining virility1 physical and mental4 ,another medical writer sounds a different alarm3 ,overworked woman may impair the constitutional vigor of man1 while she works with him4 ,she is kept up by nervous excitement1 by strong tea or drugs4 ,in short1 woman is fussy4 ,in a stress of work she will work on with crimson cheeks and growing irritation1 while man will put on his hat and calmly resort to the nearest lunch room4 ,women by their eternal high pressure as heads of departments are making nervous wrecks of themselves4 ,finally there comes ,havelock ,ellis1 usually less panicky1 who thinks he has noticed a distinct degeneration in the young man of today4 ,these weak-chinned1 neurotic young men are no match at all for the heavy-jawed resolute young women feminist methods are creating4 ,the yielding to women of masculine rights is a symptom of declining virility4 ,equality in all things yielded1 pride in himself1 in his work1 gone1 he will descend to the state of the decadent savage who keeps as many wives to work for him as their work for him enables him to keep4 ,there is ,undue ,pessimism in ,all ,those ,warnings4 ,woman has not become brutish as some writers claim1 nor has man become effeminate4 ,woman has simply gained a clearer knowledge of her latent powers and the war has provided her with a touchstone for her physical resistance and endurance4 ,the work woman had to do during the war1 which she had never suspected she could do1 for until then it had been considered as man's work1 has not masculinised her but it has rid many delicate flowers of their morbid belief in the fragile character of their constitution4 ,male man is not in danger of passing out of existence but one variety of man is doomed1 the type which has always wished to mate with the two types of women which1 in the preceding chapter1 ,i declared doomed1 the doll and the flirt4 ,the ,wise ,husband4 ,that almost extinct species is the type of husband who speakes of ,,his wife1 who knows women and what is good for them1 the home ,jehovah1 all-knowing and all-powerful1 who must be served and obeyed1 who1 on his return from work must find his wife ready to entertain him if so he wishes1 or to plunge back into the depths of the kitchen if his mood so requires1 the husband who knows that he is the aim and goal of his wife's existence4 ,a ridiculous old man1 abandoned by his too young wife1 made to the reporters a statement betraying sadly the infinite conceit of that type3 ,she will return to me because ,i love her so4 ,a most unprepossessing man was bewailing in my office the fact that his wife had grown sexually indifferent to him4 ,i advised him not to compel her to have intercourse with him against her will1 especially as he was diseased4 ,he navely remarked3 ,but she is my wife4 ,that type of husband1 in other words1 considers a wife as a chattel1 to be submitted to any sort of legal indignity because she is only a female4 ,he may force motherhood upon her to demonstrate his doubtful virility or to protect his jealous egotism4 ,he would accept with enthusiasm ,goldschmidt's theories which ,i presented for what they were worth in the chapter on ,virginity1 and according to which1 woman is soft wax and characterless1 waiting to be shaped into a personality by her husband's caresses4 ,scientific investigators of a more reliable type than ,goldschmidt and who avoid drawing yellow conclusions from their labors1 have supplied the reading world with facts which should cause the ,jehovah husband to fear for his lofty position4 ,is the ,male ,indispensable8 ,jacques ,loeb and others have demonstrated that as far as the physical results of love1 the continuance of the race1 is concerned1 the male may not be absolutely indispensable4 ,loeb had shown that almost anything which causes the protoplasm of the egg to separate itself from its membrane is sufficient to introduce life into that curious organism which until then only holds possibilities of life4 ,nature1 in order to produce one individual demands two principles1 one male and one female principle4 ,she must have one egg which is modified by some product of the male organism1 pollen or sperm4 ,modern ,scientists ,have ,beaten ,nature at ,her ,own ,game of creation2 they have taken one egg1 the female principle and proceeded to fertilise that egg without any male product whatsoever4 ,the experiment has only been made on low forms of animal life1 sea urchins and the like1 but the egg of the sea urchin is not different in any essential respect from the egg of the human species4 ,by taking unfecundated eggs and placing them for two minutes in a mixture of sea water and acetic1 or butyric1 or valerianic acid1 then placing them back in sea water and twenty minutes later1 immersing them for about an hour in hypertonic sea water or sugar solution1 and finally returning them to sea water1 ,loeb was able to bring to life young larv4 ,a ,french scientist1 ,delage1 repeating the same experiments managed to keep those larv alive until the time of their sexual maturity4 ,loeb also succeeded in fertilising eggs by placing them in the blood serum of cows1 sheep1 pigs or rabbits4 ,mathews has fertilised some by shaking them gently for a period of time4 ,twins ,to ,order4 ,loeb and others have gone further even than that and produced not only single individuals but twins1 triplets1 etc4 ,the secrets of nature's laboratory are being revealed more and more clearly from day to day4 ,the conceited fathers who imagine that the bringing into life of twins is a symptom of their powerful virility must learn that a mere chemical phenomenon called osmosis is responsible for the over-fertility of some wives4 ,remove from sea water sea urchin's eggs and place them for fifteen minutes or so in ordinary water4 ,the density of water being lower than that of sea water1 the eggs will absorb a great deal of water and burst open4 ,a drop of protoplasm will come out at the break in the membrane4 ,replace the exploded egg into sea water and two larv will hatch out of it4 ,separate the two portions of the exploded egg and the twins will be as healthy as tho they had been allowed to grow for a while in ,siamese style4 ,by repeating the experiment1 ,loeb has produced not only twins but triplets and quadruplets1 all normal and growing out of the same egg which was only meant originally to produce one urchin4 ,one can understand how a variation in the pressure of the liquids surrounding the human egg may lead to the same result4 ,while scientists have created living beings by using the female principles as a basis1 they have not thus far attained any results by experimenting with the male principle alone4 ,the ,mother is the ,race apparently and the stubbornness of man in claiming and fighting for the principle of masculine superiority is apparently due to his obscure feeling that after all he is not indispensable4 ,the more vociferous the claim1 the weaker generally the basis for that claim4 ,in certain forms of insanity1 the more the organism is destroyed by disease the more extravagant the statements are which the insane man makes about himself1 claiming power1 wealth1 health1 youth1 beauty1 etc4 ,at least one animal species1 the bees1 have placed the male on that footing4 ,the male bee represents a convenient and pleasant means of bringing about the fecundation of the eggs4 ,after his chemical part has been played1 however1 no one takes him seriously and his official existence ends4 ,certain spiders and other insects consider the male in the same light1 some of them killing and eating the male as soon as his fecundating activities have come to an end4 ,the feminine domination1 if it should ever implant itself into our world would undoubtedly lead to the absurdities1 the exaggerations and the repressions which are the result of our man made civilisation4 ,matriarchal ,communities of the ,past in which the woman was the head of the family and probably of the state and matriarchial groups of ,tibet have not left visible tokens of their worth as a family system4 ,as they preceded the present family system however1 it may be that all traces of their achievements have been obliterated by time4 ,the ,tibetan experiment may have been blighted by unfavorable geographical conditions and rendered as barren as the ,mongolian patriarchal experiments in a neighboring part of the world4 ,man as a means of fecundation is not likely to be discarded by normal women but his prestige is likely to decrease as the secret of his mysterious power becomes better known4 ,the passing of the smug1 self satisfied ,jehovah husband1 a neurotic in every case1 is in sight and his passing will facilitate the adaptation of some of the inadapted women ,i mentioned in the preceding chapter1 some of whom fail to find love1 and some of whom do not dare to seek it4 ,the ,successful ,modern ,woman is ,rather ,conceited4 ,some of the things ,i said about female artists applies in a great measure to the woman who in business or in a profession has managed to make her mark4 ,after struggling years for a certain object which she has at last attained1 she is naturally loath to surrender her personality to the average husband of the self-styled masculine type4 ,she at times resorts to homosexualism in an effort to retain her independence and yet satisfy her love cravings without submitting to a domination which she feels to be unjustified4 ,the ,terrors of ,the ,climateric4 ,the passing of the ,jehovah husband will also ease a process of woman's 7and man's7 life which has to this day held countless terrors to the uninitiated1 the climacteric4 ,to the old-fashioned and the gullible woman1 the change of life meant the end of life as a female4 ,the stupid man1 who is constantly endeavoring to subdue his mate thru disparagement and kills speedily her youth1 her enthusiasm and her hopes by repeating constantly the trashy ,at your age1 my dear1 is in a great measure responsible for transforming that harmless phenomenon into a painful crisis1 mental and physical4 ,the crisis of the ,dangerous ,age1 to use ,karin ,michaelis's expression1 is generally due to the clash of a weak masochistic female with a weak and sadistic male1 a clash in which1 owing to age and the staleness of the mates1 affection has no redeeming1 consoling physical features4 ,the ,masculine ,man is in ,no ,danger of ,passing ,away and he will for ever be as attractive to woman as the feminine woman is to him4 ,as ,shaw said1 what has been killed in men by the growth of feminism is not masculinity but boorishness1 a characteristic1 not of the strong but of the weak1 who is trying to compensate for his weakness and to conceal it4 ,what has been killed in woman is not feminine sweetness but overfeminine silliness which woman used as a deceptive weapon against the domineering male4 ,in a world which grants equal opportunities to men and women1 no husband will be able to justify or excuse his treatment of a woman by saying ,she is my wife4 ,he will have to remain her lover in order to hold her4 ,no wife will be able to make the home hideous and1 at the same time1 brandish over her husband's head the certificate of enslavement called a marriage license4 ,she will have1 in order to compete with the free women whose personality will impose itself upon her environment1 to remain his mistress4 ,every step ahead which the world takes fortunately proves a new step which love takes in the direction of completeness and freedom from sordidness and ugliness4 ,,chapter ,,xxxi ,,perfect ,,matrimonial ,,adjustments ,while marriage1 regardless of whatever form it may assume1 has always been mentioned in this book as unavoidably related to love1 we must not blink the fact that marriage and love are two absolutely different things forced into frequent association by social and economic necessity4 ,love is an involuntary and compulsory craving which draws a male and a female into the closest possible union for the purpose of mutual sexual gratification1 generally followed by conception and reproduction4 ,marriage a ,compromise4 ,marriage on the other hand is merely a compromise between the positive individual cravings which demand the most complete and frequent gratification of the love urge1 regardless of its consequences1 and the negative feeling which causes the community to shirk all possible responsibilities incurred by the individual1 among others1 the support of pregnant or lactating females and of helpless infants4 ,unless the community owns mother and child and can exploit their labor or receive their cash value 7slavery system71 it demands that their owner1 the impregnator of the woman and procreator of the child1 supply food and shelter for both4 ,marriage is also a compromise between two individual cravings which may not be synchronised1 as the male's desire for the female may subside before her desire for him does1 or reciprocally4 ,through the institution of marriage the community protects itself against new burdens directly by penalties 7sentences against wife deserters or those who abandon children7 and indirectly by protecting the mates against their own cravings for whose duration they are not responsible 7laws against bigamy or adultery1 etc474 ,considering the ,artificial ,character of the ,marriage ,union1 and at the same time the psychological importance of its durability as far as the mental health of the off-spring is concerned1 one of the most pressing duties of the community 7and one which it never performs71 should be to devise all the possible ways and means whereby the sex cravings of both mates could be helped to retain their freshness and strength as long as possible4 ,attractiveness an ,asset4 ,the first thought which should be forced into the minds of modern men and women is that attractiveness is a positive asset not only to woman but to man4 ,in classic ,greece1 a man could not be merely good1 he had to be beautiful too4 ,by good the ,greek meant fit but in the compound word which implied both qualities1 kalos1 beauty came first4 ,cravings being awakened and kept alive by certain fetishes1 the individual should be trained to recognize his and his mate's fetishism and to make all possible efforts to retain1 if necessary by artificial means1 the fetishes which lead to the awakening of erotism between him and his mate4 ,the ,average ,man or ,woman of ,forty is a ,sorry ,sight4 ,yet a little intelligence would compel them to retain or regain the physical idiosyncrasies they exhibited at the time of their marriage4 ,too many women consider it sinful to devote much time to their physical appearance and the care of their body4 ,in a man1 any attempt to make himself attractive is considered in stupid middle-class circles as a stigma of effeminacy4 ,the pretty man has always been despised by men and women1 and endocrinology has confirmed their judgment by revealing to us that he is a glandular weakling4 ,between the pretty man and the attractive man1 however1 there is a far cry4 ,while the ,american movies1 generally speaking1 are catering to the weak-minded and the unimaginative1 they have1 in their search for a bait where-with to catch audiences1 rendered mankind a signal service by starring the kind of man which would have passed muster in ancient ,greece1 beautiful and fit4 ,athletic1 if not ,acrobatic1 ,movie ,idols present to the female part of the audience a complex of physical qualities which women will gradually demand from their mates4 ,it is regrettable that women should not attend prize fights in large numbers1 for the sight of the godlike participants in those affrays would force them to institute enlightening comparisons between professional fighters and the average male4 ,besides retaining or regaining their fetishes1 human beings should make a special effort not to let those fetishes lose their power4 ,the ,worst ,foe of ,married ,happiness4 ,balzac in his ,physiology of ,marriage says that the married have to wage a constant fight with a monster which devours everything3 ,habit4 ,every stimulus1 as we know1 pleasant or unpleasant1 loses its power when applied continuously or too frequently4 ,it is only for the first minute or so that the ice cold shower causes our naked skin to tingle with excitement4 ,as soon as the reaction sets in and the capillaries fill with red blood1 the pleasant sensation of the water needles becomes dulled4 ,after holding our hand for a minute in hot water1 we no longer realise the high temperature of the liquid and in order to continue to experience the feeling of heat we must continually raise the temperature of the water4 ,and likewise we may grow so accustomed to one source of erotic stimulation that we become indifferent to it4 ,friendship ,may ,survive the ,death of ,sexual ,love1 provided the sex desire has died in both mates at the same time4 ,when desire dies off in the wife first and is not replaced by aversion1 the situation may be very simple for she can still satisfy her more ardent mate and derive some gratification therefrom4 ,when the man's desire dies first1 on the other hand1 there may arise unpleasant complications4 ,a man may be impotent with a woman whom he loves tenderly but no longer desires sexually and yet be potent with some other woman to whom he is not completely accustomed4 ,jealousy on the part of the wife may then prevent the advent of the platonic friendship which is not uncommon between old married mates1 altho ,montaigne denies the possibility of its existence4 ,modern mates1 conscious of that danger1 have now and then devised ways and means to combat ,balzac's monster4 ,not so long ago a well-known woman writer announced that she was planning to marry a certain man with whom1 however1 she did not intend to live day after day4 ,the experiment has many chances of success if jealousy does not complicate the situation4 ,i suggested to reporters last summer1 when two famous artists parted company1 that their union might have been of longer duration if one of them had lived at the ,plaza while the other was stopping at the ,st4 ,regis4 ,married ,people ,should ,separate for ,periods of ,variable ,duration in order that a fresh stimulation may emanate from their fetishes when they meet again4 ,by leading more individual lives and having separate sets of friends1 they would1 besides1 bring to each other a new sort of mental pabulum and stimulation day after day4 ,conversation becomes futile and unnecessary between a husband and wife who always pay and receive calls together1 attend the same spectacles and hence always see the same side of life4 ,now and then we read of couples who separate and a few years later remarry4 ,those few years spent apart from each other mean for both new experiences which enrich their mind and their conversation and make them again interesting to each other4 ,the ,play ,function of ,love4 ,another factor which the monstrous hypocrisy of puritanism makes very difficult to discuss openly and honestly and which wrecks many promising unions is the ignorance1 more common than we suspect among married couples1 of what ,maurice ,parmelee in his ,personality and ,behavior has called the ,play ,function of ,love1 a term which has been given a broader meaning by ,havelock ,ellis in an article for the ,medical ,review of ,reviews for ,march #aiba4 ,the average man or woman is tragically ignorant of the mission of sex4 ,the average man1 as ,ellis writes1 has two aims3 to prove that he is a man and to relieve a sexual tension4 ,he too often considers himself1 from traditional habits1 as the active partner in love and his own pleasure as the prime motive of the sex communion4 ,his wife1 naturally adopts the complementary attitude1 regards herself as the passive partner and her pleasure as negligible4 ,she has not mastered the art of love1 with the result that her whole nature remains ill-developed and unharmonized1 and that she is incapable of bringing her personality 7having indeed no achieved personality to bring7 to bear effectively on the problems of society and the world around her4 ,i have described in ,sex ,happiness the tragedies which result from that form of ignorance1 especially the tragedy of the unsatisfied wife1 her restlessness1 her gradual dislike of her mate1 her curiosity as to what feelings she might experience if married to another man1 when some other man seems to awaken her erotism1 and then the dilemma1 repression leading to neurosis1 or indulgence leading into the divorce court4 ,psychoanalysis to the ,rescue4 ,in this matter1 ,ellis writes1 we may learn a lesson from the psychoanalysts of today without any implication that psychoanalysis is necessarily a desirable or even possible way of attaining the revelation of love4 ,the wiser psychoanalysts insist that the process of liberating the individual from outer and inner influences that repress or deform his energies and impulses is effected by removing the inhibitions on the free play of his nature4 ,it is a process of education in the true sense1 not of the suppression of natural impulses nor even of the instillation of sound rules and maxims for their control1 not of the pressing in but of the leading out of the individual's special tendencies4 ,it removes inhibitions1 even inhibitions that were placed upon the individual1 or that he consciously or unconsciously placed upon himself1 with the best moral intentions1 and by so doing it allows a larger and freer and more natively spontaneous morality to come into play4 ,it has this influence above all in the sphere of sex1 where such inhibitions have been most powerfully laid on the native impulses1 where the natural tendencies have been most surrounded by taboos and terrors1 most tinged with artificial stains of impurity and degradation derived from alien and antiquated traditions4 ,thus the therapeutical experience of the psychoanalysts reinforce the lessons we learn from physiology and psychology and the intimate experiences of life4 ,wounded ,egotism4 ,love in marriage is endangered from another quarter3 ,the greatest foe of sexual desire1 as ,i have stated several times in this book1 is wounded egotism4 ,a perfect matrimonial adjustment does not mean the modification of either mate's personality4 ,we have seen in the chapters on glands that the normal personality is practically inadaptable1 that is1 nothing short of serious sickness or a surgical operation can transform an active person into a sluggish one and vice versa4 ,it is only the neurotic personality which can be adapted by the removal of certain unconscious fears which prevent it from attaining social and biological balance and happiness4 ,all psychoanalysis does in such cases is to teach the patient to accept everything which is biologically normal in his personality4 ,we must then have an absolute respect for personality in ourselves and others4 ,we must find a socially acceptable outlet for all our idiosyncrasies1 a difficult1 but never impossible task4 ,lack of an outlet means a neurotic disturbance4 ,the so-called adaptable people are those who succeed in repressing temporarily their cravings and denying their existence1 a result which they attain at the cost of much suffering to themselves and1 indirectly1 to their environment4 ,democracy in the ,home is the prerequisite of every perfect matrimonial adjustment4 ,the autocratic government of the home by a male bully of a female nag leads to either a revolution 7divorce7 or to the destruction of human material after a bitter strife1 7neurotic ailments74 ,the bullied wife and the henpecked husband fill the offices of neurologists1 gynaecologists1 psychoanalysts and sexologists4 ,this is the way in which the wounded ego of the defeated mate avenges itself4 ,the defeated mate becomes sexually disabled4 ,the results of maladjustment of the mates are strikingly summed up by ,kempf in his monumental work ,psychopathology3 ,upon marriage a subtle if not overt struggle occurs between the mates for the dominant position in the contract4 ,the big1 aggressive wife and the timid1 little husband attest to the importance of organic superiority in the adjustment1 but the average marriage does not show such organic differences4 ,the sadistic or masochistic husband and the masochistic or sadistic wife will certainly adjust to please their reciprocating cravings1 no matter what influence this may have upon their children1 and a sadistic wife and sadistic husband1 although both are cruel in their pleasures1 will divorce each other on the charge of the other being cruel2 but it is the commonplace adjustment which interests us most1 because it is most predominant4 ,nature places an unerring punishment upon the woman1 who1 by incessantly using every whim1 scheme or artifice1 finally succeeds in dominating her husband4 ,by forcing him to submit to her thousand and one demands and coercions1 within a few years1 he unconsciously becomes a submissive type and loses his sexual potency with her as the love-object4 ,if he does not have secret love interests which stimulate him to strive for power1 he finally loses his initiative and sexual potency completely and must live always at a commonplace level1 the servant of more virile men3 the counterpart of the subdued impotent males of the animal herd4 ,his more aggressive1 selfish mate1 if periodically heterosexually erotic1 will become neurotic if her moral restraints are insurpassable1 or seek a new mate whom she will again attempt to subdue4 ,never is she able to realise that her selfishness makes her sexually unattractive4 ,the psychopathologist meets many such women whose husbands have evaded domination by secretly depending upon the affections of another more suitably adjusted woman4 ,in ,the ,new ,horizon in ,love and ,life1 ,mrs4 ,havelock ,ellis writes ,it is more than probable that the evolved relationship of the future will be monogamy--but a monogamy wider and more beautiful than the present caricature of it1 as the sea is wider and more delicious than a duck pond4 ,the lifelong1 faithful love of one man for one woman is the exception and not the rule4 ,the law of affinity being as subtle and as indefinable as the law of gravitation1 we may1 by and by1 find it worth while to give it its complete opportunity in those realms where it can manifest itself most potently4 ,we are on the wrong bridge if we imagine that laxity is the easiest way to freedom4 ,the bridge which will bear us must be strong enough to support us while experiments are tried4 ,what is the gospel in this matter of sexual emancipation for men and women in the new world where love has actually come of age8 ,it is surely the complete economic independence of women4 ,while man is economically free and woman still a slave1 either physically1 financially or spiritually1 mankind as a whole must act as if blindness1 maimness and deafness constituted health4 ,the complete independence of husband and wife is the gospel of the new era of marriage4 ,this is the actual matter which philosophers1 parents1 philanthropists and pioneers so often ignore when teaching the new ideals of morality4 ,when a woman is kept by a man she is not a free individuality either as child1 wife or mistress4 ,imagine for a moment a man kept by a woman as women are kept by men and a sense of humor illuminates the absurdity of the situation between any class of evolved human beings4 ,as a clever patient of mine whom ,i regret ,i cannot mention by name said one day3 married happiness1 to be lasting1 requires more than sexual cooperation of both mates1 it must resolve itself into cooperative egotism4 ,footnote #a3 ,see ,mary ,sinclair's ,the ,life and ,death of ,harriet ,freau4 ,footnote #b3 ,kings4 ,i1 #a-b4 ,footnote #c3 ,birth ,control ,review1 ,april #aibb4 ,,the ,,end ,,index ,abortion1 #bie ,active homosexuals1 #afg ,adler1 #cb1 #da1 #ga1 #aae1 #acj1 #acb1 #ada1 #adb1 #agj1 #aib1 #baa1 #bbe ,adrenals1 #bcj ,adrenin1 #f ,algolagnists1 #ahh ,androgynes1 #afj ,animal love fights1 #aif ,animal types1 #hg ,antifetishes1 #bd1 #be ,aphrodite1 #aie ,aristotle1 #bjg ,atavism1 #aid ,attractiveness1 #cag ,auditory sensations1 #eg ,baby talk1 #eg ,balzac1 #cah ,basogas1 #dc ,bees in love1 #eb1 #ec ,beresford1 #bfg ,berman1 ,dr4 ,louis1 #bbh ,bernhardt1 ,sarah1 #ajj ,bloch1 ,iwan1 #hh ,blood relations1 #dg ,bonaparte1 #aib ,bored wives1 #hi ,boredom1 #bab ,bottle-fed men1 #bj ,bovary1 ,madame1 #ia ,brain1 cells1 #af function of the1 #g operations on a dog's1 #ac ,breast-fed men1 #bj ,brothers and sisters1 #gh ,brutus1 #hb ,business women1 #bgi ,csar1 #ahj ,calf love1 #ed ,cannon1 #aj ,chicago ,vice ,report1 #ajh ,childish behavior1 #aeh ,choice1 meaning of1 #aa1 #ab ,cigar smoking1 #ei ,clean lives1 #bfd ,climacteric1 #cab ,community's criticism1 #bef ,contraception1 #bid ,conversation1 #cba ,cooperative egotism1 #cbh ,copepods1 behavior of1 #ae ,craig's ,birds1 #dj ,crile1 #fc ,cybela1 #aif ,dark ,types1 #bcd ,darwin1 #de ,death dreams1 #ge ,death wishes1 #gc1 #gd ,delage1 #cjh ,deluded martyrs1 #ha ,delusional jealousy1 #adg ,democracy in the home1 #cbe ,demosthenes1 #hc ,descartes1 #afb ,displacement upward1 #f ,dissatisfied people1 #baf ,divorces in the art world1 #bba ,doll type1 #bhd ,don ,juan1 #ib1 #id1 #aci ,double standard1 #cjb ,ductless glands1 #bbe ,duncan1 ,isadora1 #ajj ,economic exhibitionism1 #fi ,eddy1 ,mary ,baker1 #bfe ,effeminacy1 #cag ,ego rampant1 #aci ,electrical exchanges1 #fj1 #fc ,ellis1 ,havelock1 #hh1 #agg1 #bhf1 #cje1 #cba ,ellis1 ,mrs4 ,havelock1 #cbg ,endocrinologists1 #bbf ,environment1 #bcf ,erotropism1 #d ,ethical prostitution1 #aac ,eulenburg1 ,albert1 #afb1 #aid ,fatherhood cravings1 #fi ,fear of accidents1 #gf ,fear of woman1 #aad ,female artists1 #bah ,feminine refinement1 #bgg ,ferenczi1 #adh sqq4 ,fetishes1 list of1 #ai1 #bj feminine1 #ba masculine1 #ba non-physical1 #bd1 #be ,fiji ,islands1 #db ,first ,night1 the right of the1 #fh ,fixation1 parent1 #cj1 #ca1 sqq4 ,flappers1 #bdg1 #bdh ,flattery1 #bah1 #bai1 #bbj ,flirt1 the1 #bhe ,foot ,fetishism1 #ah1 #bb symbolism1 #bd ,forel #acd ,frazer1 #dd ,freud1 #bc1 #bd1 #ca1 #db1 #di1 #fb1 #adj1 #afd1 #afe1 #baa1 #bbe1 #bfg1 #big ,friedlander1 ,benedikt1 #ahc ,friendship1 #cai ,frigid wives1 #bde ,frink1 #acg ,galvanotropism1 #d ,genesis1 #dc ,gerontophilia1 #bd ,getting even1 #ij ,glands1 #cd ,glandular drunkenness1 #aic ,glandular insufficiency1 #bjc ,glove fetishism1 #bje ,goldschmidt1 ,jules1 #aaf ,gonads1 #bca ,greek ,gods1 #aef ,griseldis1 #aie ,gross1 ,dr4 ,otto1 #ahd ,habit1 #caj ,hair ,fetishism1 #ag1 #bf1 #bg ,heart1 physiology of the1 #e ,heredity1 #cd ,hirschfeld1 ,magnus1 #aeh1 #ahf ,hirth1 ,george1 #hh1 #hi ,holding hands1 #fj ,homosexual tragedies1 #agi ,husbands and lovers1 #ada ,ideal ,love1 #bfi ,identification mania1 #ce1 #cf ,imitation1 #cc ,immodest modesty1 #abg ,impotence1 #bf ,inbreeding1 #dd ,incest fear1 #db ,independent women1 #bha ,infidelity1 #he ,institution children1 #aja ,jack the ,ripper1 #aig ,jealousy and impotence1 #acg ,jesus1 #fg ,jung1 #cb1 #cc1 #bbe ,kempf1 #agc1 #cbe ,kenealy1 ,dr4 ,arabella1 #cjc ,king ,david1 #bfa ,kiss1 #fj1 #fa ,krafft-,ebing1 #afb ,kronos1 #aie ,lean types1 #bce ,leonardo da ,vinci1 #ahj ,lesbian ,love1 #aef ,loeb1 ,jacques1 #cjg sqq4 ,lombroso1 #aje ,lorand1 #bei ,love1 a compulsion1 #aj ,lover1 the successful1 #eb the unsuccessful1 #ec ,lovers of the absolute1 #bga ,male artists1 #bah ,male lovers1 #aef ,male prostitutes1 #aji ,marriage1 a compromise1 #cae ,masculine protest1 #acj ,masked ,sadism1 #aed ,masoch1 ,leopold von ,sacher1 #bjj sqq4 ,masochistic husbands1 #bjf ,matriarchal communities1 #caa ,matrimonial ,engineers1 #bch ,messalina1 #id ,metatropism1 #afa ,michael ,angelo1 #agf ,michaelis1 ,karin1 #cac ,michelet1 #bhd ,milch cows1 #bic ,milk1 #ei ,mind1 seat of the1 #f1 #g ,mobs1 #aih ,moreau de ,tours1 #ahi ,movie ,idols1 #cah ,movies1 #eg ,naked male dancers1 #abc ,narcism1 #afg ,negative ,love1 #agf ,negro ,haters1 #gi ,nerve memory1 #h ,nerves1 #ej ,neurotic frigidity1 #gj ,neurotic ,life ,plan1 #cc ,neurotic motherliness1 #ga ,neurotic mothers1 #bdi1 #bif ,nietzsche1 #ahj ,nurses1 #ci ,obscene talkers1 #acb ,obsessions1 #bg ,oedipus ,complex1 #cj ,old fashioned women1 #bge ,oracles1 #bff ,organism1 unity of1 #di1 #ej1 #ea ,paranoiacs1 #adg ,parent-,child ,relationship1 #bbc ,parmelee1 ,maurice1 #cba ,passive homosexuals1 #afg ,perfect ,mothers1 #bdf ,personality1 #bci ,personality1 respect for the1 #cbd ,perverse birds1 #afd ,phototropism1 #c ,physical incompatibility1 #bed ,pimps1 #aji ,pituitary1 #bbh ,plato1 #aee ,platonic love1 #fc ,play function of love1 #cba ,plural love1 #hd ,polyandry1 #hd ,potter1 ,grace1 #bii ,preferences1 #ci ,pregnancy and ,health1 #bdb ,priapism1 #hd ,primal horde1 #de ,primitive races1 #db ,prize fights1 #cah ,prohibition1 #ha ,projection1 #aec ,proud husbands1 #bhi ,psychoanalysis1 #cbb ,puritanical males1 #abi ,rebellion against nature1 #bgg ,reformers1 #hj ,rousseau1 ,jean-,jacques1 #bjg ,rules for husbands1 #acd ,sade1 ,marquis de1 #ahi sqq4 ,sadistic lovers1 #bac ,sadistic mates1 #bae ,sadzer1 #aff ,safety devices1 #agj ,safety symbols1 #ig ,sallow ,type1 #bce ,sanger1 ,margaret1 #cjj sqq4 ,sapho1 #aee ,savages1 modesty among1 #abc ,schneider1 ,kurt1 #aje ,schopenhauer1 #ahb ,schroeder1 ,theodore1 #bfe ,sea urchins1 #cjh ,self love1 #fg ,sensuality1 #ajg ,sexless jealousy1 #adj ,sexless persons1 #bjh ,sexual ,libido1 #fe ,shaw1 ,g4 ,b41 #bgf sqq4 ,shoe fetishism1 #ah1 #bb1 #bje symbolism1 #bd ,sight1 #ef ,sinclair1 ,may1 #bfh ,skooptsy1 #bjh ,slender types1 #bcf ,smell1 #eh ,social pressure1 #bcg ,socrates1 #aee ,sour grapes1 #gg ,steinach1 #afc sqq4 ,stekel1 ,wilhelm1 #abh1 #afj1 #agj1 #ahc ,sublimation1 #bfg ,suggestive draperies1 #abe ,suttee custom1 #adb ,syphilophobiacs1 #hj ,tall types1 #bce ,taste1 #ei ,teeth1 #bcg ,telegony1 #aaf ,test of love1 #ge ,third sex1 #aeh sqq4 ,thyroid1 #bcj ,touch1 #fj ,transvestites1 #aei ,triplets1 #caj ,twins1 #cji ,type1 parent1 #ci ,ultrafeminine1 #ic ,unadapted women1 #bhh ,uniform fetishism1 #be ,vamps1 #bac ,varietism1 #hd ,vital ,force1 #bff ,vomiting1 in pregnancy1 #bdc ,von ,kupfer1 #aha1 #ahb ,wagner1 #beb ,walker1 ,dr4 ,mary1 #afj ,war prisoners1 #gj ,whipping1 #bjb ,wifehood1 a profession1 #bhb ,wilde1 ,oscar1 #ahj ,will-to-be-the-first1 #aae ,winckelman1 #agf ,wise husbands1 #cjf ,women ,sadists1 #baj ,women who enjoy a beating1 #bji ,wounded egotism1 #cbd ,wulffen1 #aic