,illu/ration3 ,fai?fully1 y\rs1 ,fanny ,/5h\se ,,an ,,engli%woman ,,9 ,,utah3 ,,! ,,/ory ,,( ,a ,life's ,exp]i5ce 9 ,mormonism4 ,an ,autobiography3 ,,by ,,mrs4 ,t4 ,b4 ,h4 ,,/5h\se1 ,,( ,,salt ,,lake ,,city1 ,,= ,,m ,,?an ,,tw5ty-,,five ,,ye>s ,,! ,,wife ,,( ,a ,,mormon ,,mission>y ,,& ,,eld]4 ,,) ,,introductory ,,preface ,,by ,,mrs4 ,,h>riet ,,bee*] ,,/[e4 ,,includ+ ,a ,,full ,,acc\nt ,,( ,,! ,,m\nta9 ,,mead[s ,,massacre1 ,,& ,,( ,,! ,,life1 ,,confession1 ,,& ,,execution ,,( ,,bi%op ,,john ,d4 ,,lee4 ,,fully ,,illu/rat$4 ,london3 ,,sampson ,,l[1 ,,m>/on1 ,,se>le1 ,,riv+ton1 ,,cr[n ,,build+s1 #ahh1 ,,fleet ,,/reet4 #ahhj4 ,all rights res]v$4 ,,to ,,my ,,*ildr52 ,,) ,,all ,a ,,"m',s ,,love ,,& ,,t5d]ness1 ,,?is ,,volume1 ,,! ,,/ory ,,( ,,my ,,life',s ,,exp]i5ce1 ,,is ,,affectionately ,,inscrib$4 ,,preface ,,by ,,mrs4 ,,h>riet ,,bee*] ,,/[e4 ,9 ^! pages1 a woman1 a wife & "m1 speaks ! sorr[s & oppressions ( :i* %e has be5 ! witness & ! victim4 ,x is because h] sorr[s & h] oppressions are ^? ( ?\s&s1 :o1 suff]+ l h]1 _c or d>e n speak = !mselves1 t %e ?us gives ?is hi/ory to ! public4 ,x is no s5sational /ory1 b a pla91 unv>ni%$ tale ( tru?1 /rang] & sadd] ?an fiction4 ,our day has se5 a glori\s break+ ( fett]s4 ,! slave-p5s ( ! ,s\? h become a nightm>e ( ! pa/2 ! auction-block & :ipp+-po/ h giv5 place to ! *ur* & s*ool-h\se2 & ! songs ( emancipat$ millions are he>d ?r\gh our l&4 ,may we n !n hope t ! h\r is come to loose ! bonds ( a cruel slav]y ^: *a9s h cut into ! v he>ts ( ?\s&s ( our si/]s--a slav]y :i* debases & degrades womanhood1 mo!rhood1 & ! family8 ,let e happy wife & "m :o reads ^! l9es give h] _! sympa?y1 pray]s1 & aid to free h] si/]s f ?is degrad+ bondage4 ,let all ! womanhood ( ! c\ntry /& unit$ = !m4 ,!re is a p[] 9 comb9$ enlight5$ s5tim5t & sympa?y be=e :i* e =m ( inju/ice & cruelty mu/ f9ally g d[n4 ,may ,he :o came to break e yoke ha/5 ?is deliv]ance6 ,,h>riet ,,bee*] ,,/[e4 ,,preface4 ,9 ! fall ( ! ye> #ahfi1 a few e>ne/1 ?9k+ m51 memb]s ( ! ,mormon ,*ur*1 & liv+ 9 ,salt ,lake ,city1 inaugurat$ :at 0 reg>d$ at ! "t z a gr& s*ism4 ,^? :o _h wat*$ ) anxiety ! progress ( ,mormonism1 hail$ ! 8,new ,movem5t0 z ! h>b+] ( ! "w ( dis9tegration s long anticipat$ by ! ?\ghtful-m9d$ ,sa9ts1 & believ$ t ! opposition to ,!ocracy1 !n begun1 w\ld cont9ue until ! extraord9>y assumptions ( ! ,mormon prie/hood 7 explod$1 & ,mormonism itself %\ld lose its political /atus & f9d its place only among ! s+ul> sects ( ! day4 ,x 0 freely pr$ict$ t ,woman1 9 h] turn1 w\ld accept h] "p 9 ! "w ( re=mation1 take up ! m>riage "q among ! ,sa9ts1 & make an end ( ,polygamy4 ,little did ,i imag9e1 at t p]iod1 t any su* mission z t :i* ,i h s9ce realiz$ z m9e1 0 9 ! ,provid5ce ( ,"t await+ me1 or t ,i %\ld ev] h ! boldness1 ei!r ) tongue or p51 to plead ! cause ( ! ,wom5 ( ,utah4 ,b1 impell$ by ^? unse5 influ5ces :i* %ape our de/9ies1 ,i took my /& ) ! 8h]etics20 &1 z x happ5$1 my own 0 ! fir/ woman's "n enroll$ 9 _! cause4 ,! circum/ances :i* wr\ght a *ange 9 my own life produc$ a correspond+ revolution 9 ! life ( my husb&4 ,9 )draw+ f ! ,mormon ,*ur*1 we laid ourselves1 our associations1 & ! lab\rs ( ov] tw5ty ye>s1 ^u ! alt>1 & took up ! burd5 ( life anew4 ,we _h sacrific$ ev]y?+ 9 ob$i5ce to ! 8c\nsel0 ( ,brigham ,"y2 & my husb&1 to give a new direction to 8 m9d1 & also to =m "s plan = our future life1 ?\ght x advisable t he %\ld visit ,new ,york4 ,he did s2 & %ortly aft] employ$ himself 9 writ+ a hi/ory ( ! 8,rocky ,m\nta9 ,sa9ts10 :i* has s9ce be5 publi%$4 ,9 c\rse ( "t1 ! burd5 ( provid+ = a l>ge family1 & ! anxiety & c>e ( conduct+ successfully a bus9ess among a p :o make x a religi\s duty to /]nly set _! faces aga9/ ^? :o diss5t f _! fai?1 exhau/$ my physical & m5tal /r5g?4 ,consid]+1 !re=e1 t *ange might be b5eficial to me1 & my own p]sonal affairs urg5tly call+ me to ,new ,york ,city1 ,i foll[$ my husb& ?i!r4 ,on my way ,ea/ ,i met a highly-valu$ fri5d ( my family1 :o1 9 ! c\rse ( our j\rney toge!r ov] ! ,pacific ,railroad1 en?usia/ically urg$ me to tell ! /ory ( my pa/ life1 & to give to ! _w :at ,i knew ab\t ,polygamy4 ,i _h be5 repeat$ly advis$ to d s by fri5ds at home1 b up to t "t no plan _h be5 arrang$ = c>ry+ out ! sugge/ion4 ,i _h h>dly arriv$ 9 ,new ,york be=e ! electric mess5g] ann\nc$ t a sev]e sn[-/orm 0 rag+ on ! va/ pla9s betwe5 ! ,rocky ,m\nta9s & ! ,miss\ri ,riv]1 & = sev]al weeks all traffic ov] ! ,union ,pacific ,railroad 0 int]rupt$1 & ,i c\ld n return to my home 9 ! di/ant ,we/4 ,t unlook$-= sn[-blockade became s]i\sly annoy+2 = n only 0 ,i mo/ anxi\s to return to my *ildr51 b also1 nev] hav+ kn[n an idle h\r1 ,i c\ld n live )\t some?+ to d4 ,at t mom5t ( unsettl$ feel+1 a lady-fri5d1 ) :om ,i 0 visit+1 sugge/$ aga9 8! book20 & %e w\ld n p]mit me to leave h] h\se until %e _h exact$ f me a promise t x %\ld be writt54 ,next morn+ ,i began my task 9 e>ne/4 ,i fai?fully kept my room & lab\r$ unremitt+ly2 & 9 ?ree weeks ! manuscript ( my little "w on 8,polygamy 9 ,utah0 0 complet$4 ,x 0 v k9dly welcom$ by ! press--bo? secul> & religi\s--& = ?is ,i 0 s9c]ely grateful4 ,i _h n1 up to t "t1 ?\ght ( mu* else ?an its effect ^u ! p ( ,utah2 b ! volum9\s notices :i* t little book receiv$ %[$ ! deep int]e/ :i* ! p ( ! ,unit$ ,/ates _h tak5 9 8! ,mormon "q10 & h[ ard5tly !y desir$ to see ! ext9ction ( ! polygamic in/itution among ! ,sa9ts4 ,9 ,salt ,lake ,city ,i 0 s situat$ t ,i 0 daily--,i might almo/ say h\rly--br\ght 9 contact ) visitors to ! ,mod]n ,zion2 =1 dur+ ! summ]1 ?\s&s ( travell]s pass ov] ! ,pacific ,railroad4 ,n a few ( ^! call$ to see me2 & ,i receiv$ f ladies & g5tlem5--^: k9d int]e/ 9 my welf>e ,i felt v deeply--_m p]sonal att5tions1 _m words ( sympa?y & enc\ragem5t1 & _m intellig5t & useful sugge/ions 9 respect to my future life4 ,inde$1 ,i saw myself q unexpect$ly1 &1 ,i may tru?fully say1 )\t my own desire1 become an object ( int]e/4 ,by ! e>ne/ sugge/ions ( fri5ds & /rang]s1 & by ! widely publi%$ op9ions ( ! press1 ,i 0 made to feel t ,i _h only begun my "w--t ,i _h b p>tly drawn aside ! veil t cov]$ ! wor/ oppression & degradation ( woman ev] kn[n 9 a civiliz$ c\ntry4 ,ne>ly all :o spoke to me express$ _! surprise t intellig5t m5 & wom5 %\ld be f\nd 9 communion ) ! ,mormon ,*ur*1 9 :i* x 0 s cle>ly evid5t t ! tea*+s ( ,*ri/ianity _h be5 supplant$ by an attempt to imitate ! b>b>ism ( ,ori5tal nations 9 a long pa/ age1 & ! sweet influ5ces ( ! religion ( ,jesus 7 sup]s$$ by ! mo/ objectionable practices ( ! anci5t ,jews4 ,h[ p]sons ( education & ref9em5t c\ld ev] h embrac$ a fai? t pro/rat$ !m at ! feet ( ! ,mormon ,prophet1 & 8 successor ,brigham ,"y1 0 to ! inquir+ m9d a p]fect my/]y4 ,! num]\s que/ions :i* ,i _h to answ]1 & ! explanations :i* ,i _h to give1 %[$ me t my little book _h only :ett$ ! appetite ( ! intellig5t inve/igator1 & t !re 0 a g5]al call = a woman's book on ,mormonism--a book t %\ld reveal ! inn] life ( ! ,sa9ts1--exhibit ! influ5ces :i* _h contribut$ to draw ,*ri/ian p away f ,*ri/ian ,*ur*es to ! /&>d ( ! ,am]ican ,prophet1 ,joseph ,smi?1 & subject !m to ! p[] ( t organization :i* has1 s9ce 8 dea?1 subjugat$ ! mass ( ! ,mormon p 9 ,utah to ! w & wick$ness ( ! ,prie/hood "u ! lead]%ip ( ,brigham ,"y4 ,a few mon?s aft] ! publication ( my fir/ book1 ,i 0 invit$ to lecture ^u 8,polygamy 9 ,utah20 & :]ev] ,i spoke ,i obs]v$ ! same _s ( inquiry1 & met ) a r5ew$ dem& = m ( circum/ance & n>rative--:i* ,i _h1 f a s5se ( p]sonal delicacy1 )held 9 my =m] "w4 ,i saw no way ( satisfy+ myself & o!rs ?an by accept+ ! r spiteful invitation ( a c]ta9 ,mormon pap] to 8,,tell ,,x ,,all20 & ?is1 9 a n>rative ( my own p]sonal exp]i5ce1 :i* ,i n[ pres5t to ! read]1 ,i h endeav\r$ to d4 ,n be+ 9 any s5se a lit]>y woman1 or mak+ any pret5sions z a writ]1 ,i hope to escape sev]e criticism f ! public & ! press4 ,i _h a simple /ory to tell--! /ory ( my life & ( ! wrongs ( wom5 9 ,utah4 ,/>tl+ & t]rible facts h fall5 "u my obs]vation4 ,^! also ,i h relat$2 b my con/ant ef=t has be5 to tell my /ory 9 ! pla9e/1 simple/ way1 &1 :ile avoid+ exagg]ation1 nev] to %r9k f a /raight=w>d /atem5t ( facts4 ,i h disguis$ no?+1 & palliat$ no?+2 & ,i feel assur$ t ^? :o f _! actual & intimate acqua9tance ) ,mormonism 9 ,utah z x really is1 are capable ( pass+ a j & imp>tial judgm5t ^u my /ory1 w decl>e )\t hesitation t ,i h told 8! tru?1 ! :ole tru? & no?+ b ! tru?40 ,,fanny ,,/5h\se4 ,,salt ,,lake ,,city1 ,,utah4 ,,cont5ts4 ,,*ap4 ,,page ,i4 ,,my ,,e>ly ,,life #a ,,ii4 ,,my ,,fir/ ,,introduction ,,to ,,mormonism #g ,,iii4 ,,! ,,lab\r ,,( ,,my ,,life ,,begun--,,h[ ,,! ,,mormon ,,mission>ies ,,made ,,conv]ts #af ,,iv4 ,,life ,,among ,,! ,,sa9ts--,,my ,,new ,,engagem5ts #be ,v4 ,,! ,,fir/ ,,:isp]+s ,,( ,,polygamy #cc ,,vi4 ,,my ,,husb&',s ,,mission--,i ,,am ,,left ,,alone #da ,,vii4 ,,our ,,mission ,,9 ,,switz]l&--,,mutt]+s ,,( ,,! ,,com+ ,,/orm #ef ,,viii4 ,,! ,,revelation ,,on 8,,cele/ial ,,m>riage0 #fg ,,ix4 ,,mission>y ,,"w--,,tea*+ ,,polygamy #gf ,x4 ,,mormonism ,,9 ,,engl&--,,prep>+ ,,to ,,emigrate #hf ,,xi4 ,,emigrat+ ,,to ,,zion--,,we ,,arrive ,,9 ,,new ,,york #ig ,,xii4 ,,life ,,9 ,,new ,,york--,,conduct+ ,a ,,mormon ,,pap] #ajc ,,xiii4 ,,sa9tly ,,pilgrims ,,on ,,! ,,way--,,! 8,,div9e0 ,,h&-,,c>t ,,s*eme #aaa ,,xiv4 ,a ,,t]rible ,,/ory--,,! ,,h&-,,c>t ,,emigrants ,,cross+ ,,! ,,pla9s #abc ,,xv4 ,,m>y ,,burton',s ,,/ory ,,cont9u$--,,t]rible ,,end+ ,,( ,,! ,,h&-,,c>t ,,s*eme #acb ,,xvi4 ,,we ,,=sake ,,all1 ,,& ,,set ,,out ,,= ,,zion--,,our ,,j\rney ,,across ,,! ,,pla9s #ade ,,xvii4 ,,my ,,fir/ ,,impressions ,,( ,,! ,,city ,,( ,,! ,,sa9ts #aeb ,,xviii4 ,,brigham ,,"y ,,at ,,home--,,we ,,visit ,,! ,,prophet ,,& ,,8 ,,wives #afc ,,xix4 ,,! ,,wives ,,( ,,brigham ,,"y--,,_! ,,hi/ory ,,& ,,_! ,,daily ,,life #afh ,,xx4 ,,ways ,,& ,,works ,,( ,,! ,,sa9ts--,,! ,,prophet',s ,,mill9]y ,,bill #agi ,,xxi4 ,,my/]ies ,,( ,,! ,,end[m5t ,,h\se--,,fe>ful ,,oa?s ,,& ,,secret ,,c]emonies #ahi ,,xxii4 ,,secrets ,,( ,,sa9tly ,,sp\ses--,a ,,visit ,,f ,,my ,,talkative ,,fri5d #bjb ,,xxiii4 ,,social ,,life ,,9 ,,salt ,,lake ,,city--,,ball-,,rooms1 8,,wall-,,fl[]s10 ,,& ,,divorce #bji ,,xxiv4 ,,! ,,orig9 ,,( 8,,! ,,re=mation0--,,extraord9>y ,,do+s ,,( ,,! ,,sa9ts #bbd ,,xxv4 ,,! 8,,reign ,,( ,,t]ror0 ,,9 ,,utah--,,! ,,re=mation ,,( ,,! ,,sa9ts #bce ,,xxvi4 ,,! ,,m\nta9 ,,mead[s ,,massacre--8,i ,,w ,,repay1 ,,sai? ,,! ,,"l0 #bdg ,,xxvii4 ,,:at ,,wom5 ,,suff] ,,9 ,,polygamy--,,! ,,/ory ,,( ,,m>y ,,burton #bei ,,xxviii4 ,,h[ ,,m>riages ,,are ,,made ,,9 ,,utah--,a ,,new ,,wife ,,f\nd ,,= ,,my ,,husb& #bfh ,,xxix4 ,,tak+ ,a ,,second ,,wife--,,! ,,exp]i5ce ,,( ,,! ,,fir/ #bgh ,,xxx4 ,,trials--,,! ,,second ,,wife ,,*os5--,,%ad[s ,,( ,,life #bhe ,,xxxi4 ,,m>riage ,,= ,,! ,,dead--,,ent]+ ,,into ,,polygamy--,,! ,,new ,,wife #bic ,,xxxii4 ,,dome/ic ,,arrangem5ts ,,( ,,! ,,sa9ts--,,polygamy ,,f ,a ,,woman',s ,,/&po9t #bii ,,xxxiii4 ,,lights ,,& ,,%ad[s ,,( ,,polygamy--,,m>riage ,,& ,,baptism ,,= ,,! ,,dead #cjf ,,xxxiv4 ,,my ,,daught] ,,becomes ,,! ,,f\r? ,,wife ,,( ,,brigham ,,"y',s ,,son--,,! ,,second ,,end[m5ts #cad ,,xxxv4 ,,realities ,,( ,,polygamic ,,life--,,orson ,,pratt3 ,,! ,,/ory ,,( ,,8 ,,"y ,,engli% ,,wife #cbc ,,xxxvi4 8,,our0 ,,husb&',s ,,fianc,e--,a ,,second ,,wife',s ,,sorr[s--,,/eps ,,t[>ds ,,apo/asy #cca ,,xxxvii4 ,,"s ,,curi\s ,,c\rt%ips--,,brigham ,,ru9s ,,our ,,=tunes--,,bel9da ,,divorces 8,,our0 ,,husb& #cdj ,,xxxviii4 ,,m>y ,,burton--,,life',s ,,j\rney ,,end$3 ,,re/ ,,at ,,la/ #cdg ,,xxxix4 ,,my ,,husb& ,,disfell[%ipp$--,,we ,,apo/atize--,,brutal ,,outrage ,,^u ,,my ,,husb& ,,& ,,myself #ceg ,,xl4 ,,amus+ ,,tr\bles ,,( ,,my ,,talkative ,,fri5d--,,*>lotte ,,) ,,! ,,gold5 ,,hair #cfa ,,xli4 ,,aft] ,,we ,,left ,,! ,,*ur*--,,int]e/+ ,,facts ,,& ,,figures--,,mormonism ,,& ,,mormons ,,( ,,to-,,day #cfc ,l',,envoi #cgg ,,po/script #chj ,,xliv4 ,,m\nta9 ,,mead[s ,,massacre--,,complete ,,confession ,,( ,,bi%op ,,john ,d4 ,,lee #chd ,,kill+ ,a ,,rival ,,prophet #cih ,,li/ ,,( ,,illu/rations4 #a4 ,/eel-plate ,portrait ( ! ,au?or ,frontispiece #b4 ,/eel-plate ,portrait ( ,brigham ,"y ,to face #c4 8,ga!r+ to ,zion0--,life on ! ,pla9s #abe #d4 ,ov] at ,la/ #acf #e4 ,view ( ,ma9 ,/reet1 ,salt ,lake ,city 7,f a ,photograph7 #adh ,! ,ladies' ,side ( ,mormonism4 #f4 ,amelia ,folsom ,"y1 ,brigham's ,fav\rite ,wife #afh #g4 8,ann ,eliza10 ,brigham's ,n9ete5? ,wife #afh #h4 ,miss ,eliza ,r4 ,sn[1 ,mormon ,poetess & ,high ,prie/ess #afh #i4 ,mrs4 ,john ,w4 ,"y1 ,wife ( ,brigham's ,apo/ate ,son #afh #aj4 ,bro!r ,brigham's ,la/ ,baby #afh #aa4 ,sc5e ( ! ,m\nta9 ,mead[s ,massacre #bee #ab4 ,! ,crisis ( a ,life--,ent]+ into ,polygamy #bif #ac4 ,polygamy 9 ,l[ ,life--,! ,poor ,man's ,family #cjb #ad4 ,polygamy 9 ,high ,life--,! ,prophet's ,mansion #cjb #ae4 ,despair6 #cbf #af4 ,fac-simile ( a ,mormon 8,bill ( ,divorce0 #cdd ,,an ,,engli%woman ,,9 ,,utah4 ,,*apt] ,i4 ,,my ,,e>ly ,,life4 ,! /ory :i* ,i propose to tell 9 ^! pages is a pla91 unexagg]at$ record ( facts :i* h come imm$iately "u my own notice1 or :i* ,i h myself p]sonally exp]i5c$4 ,mu* t to ! read] may seem altoge!r incr$ible1 w\ld to a ,mormon m9d appe> simply a matt] ( ord9>y e-day occurr5ce ) :i* e "o 9 ,utah is suppos$ to be p]fectly famili>4 ,! read] mu/ please rememb] t ,i am n tell+--z s _m writ]s h told 9 newspap] correspond5ce & s5sational /ories--! ha/y & incorrect /atem5ts & op9ions glean$ dur+ a %ort visit to ,salt ,lake ,city2 b my own exp]i5ce--! /ory ( a fai?1 /range1 wild1 & t]rible x may be1 b :i* 0 once s intimately enwov5 ) all my associations t x became a "p ( my v exi/5ce itself2 & facts1 ! too true reality ( :i* !re are liv+ witnesses by hundr$s1 & ev5 ?\s&s1 :o c\ld atte/ if only !y w\ld4 ,) ! read]'s p]mission ,i %all briefly sket* my exp]i5ce f ! v beg9n+4 ,i 0 born 9 ! ye> #ahbi1 9 ,/4 ,heli]s1 ,j]sey--"o ( ! isl&s ( ! ,engli% ,*annel4 ,f my e>lie/ recollection ,i 0 fav\rably dispos$ to religi\s influ5ces1 & :5 only f\rte5 ye>s ( age ,i became a memb] ( ! ,bapti/ ,*ur*1 ( :i* my fa!r & "m 7 also memb]s4 ,) ! simplicity & en?usiasm ( y\? ,i 0 devot$ to ! religi\s fai? ( ! d5om9ation to :i* ,i _h atta*$ myself1 & s\ght to live 9 a mann] :i* %\ld be acceptable to ,god4 ,my *ildhood pass$ away )\t ! occurr5ce ( any ev5ts :i* w\ld be wor?y ( m5tion1 al?\gh1 ( c\rse1 my m9d 0 ev5 !n receiv+ t religi\s bias :i* aft]w>ds l$ me to adopt ! fai? ( ! ,latt]-day ,sa9ts4 ,l mo/ girls 9 _! te5s ,i _h a natural love ( dress--a weakness1 if su* x be1 ( ! sex g5]ally4 ,i 0 n extravagant1 = t ,i c\ld n be2 b ?irty ye>s ago memb]s ( diss5t+ *ur*es 7 m /aid 9 _! dress & demean\r & 7 less ( ! _w1 ,i ?9k1 ?an !y are to-day4 ,9 pla9ness ( dress ! ,me?odi/s & ,bapti/s mu* resembl$ ! ,quak]s4 ,my girli% weakness caus$ me to be ! subject ( _m a reprim& f old] *ur*-memb]s :o 7 r /rict 9 _! views4 ,i well rememb] "o smoo?-fac$1 pi\s1 corpul5t bro!r1 :o 0 old en\gh to be my fa!r1 say+ to me "o day3 8,my de> "y si/]1 7 x n = y\r love ( dress1 ,i h s]i\sly ?\ght t ,i w\ld "s day make y my wife40 ,i wick$ly resolv$ t if a few bright col\r$ ribbons w\ld disgu/ my pi\s admir]1 x %\ld n be my fault if he /ill cont9u$ to ?9k ( me4 ,b _m ( our o!r *ur*-memb]s 7 m l5i5t4 ,our good m9i/] 9 p>ticul> bore ) my imp]fections1 z he said1 on acc\nt ( my y\? & inexp]i5ce2 & lat] /ill1 :5 ,i 0 ready to leave my native isl&1 an extra ribbon or a fa%ionable dress _h n affect$ my /&+ 9 ! ,bapti/ d5om9ation4 ,i m5tion ^! trifles1 n because ,i atta* any importance to !m 9 !mselves1 b because simil> religi\s t5d5cies & a devotional feel+ 7 almo/ univ]sally f\nd to be ! causes :i* induc$ m5 & wom5 to jo9 ! ,mormon ,*ur*4 ,f among ,roman ,ca?olics1 :o place unque/ion+ confid5ce 9 _! prie/hood1 & also f among p]sons pr$ispos$ to infidelity1 came few1 if any1 conv]ts to ,mormonism4 ,b x 0 f among ! religi\sly incl9$1 ! ,evangelical ,prote/ants ( ! ,old ,_w1 t ! great] numb] ( proselytes came4 ,b to return to my /ory4 ,i 0 "o ( ! y\ng] memb]s ( a l>ge family2 & :5 ,i ?\ght ( ! future ,i readily saw t if ,i desir$ a position 9 life ,i %\ld h to make x = myself2 & ?is ,i resolv$ to d4 ,i began by consult+ all my fri5ds :o ,i ?\ght w\ld be able to c\nsel or assi/ me 9 c>ry+ out my det]m9ation2 & be=e long ,i f\nd ! opportunity :i* ,i s\ght4 ,an ,engli% lady1 ! wife ( a capta9 9 ! ,briti% army1 to :om ,i _h confid$ my aspirations1 propos$--al?\gh ,i 0 n yet fifte5 ye>s ( age--to take me ) h] to ,france1 9 ! tempor>y capacity ( gov]ness1 to h] *ildr51 assur+ me at ! same "t t %e w\ld advance my int]e/s 9 e possible way aft] our arrival4 ,?is lady & h] husb& 7 z k9d to me z my own p>5ts c\ld h be52 & soon aft] our arrival 9 ,france !y procur$ = me a situation 9 "o ( ! be/ s*ools 9 ,/4 ,brieux1 call$ ! ,maison-,m>t91 :]e1 "y z ,i 01 ,i engag$ myself to tea* ! "y ladies fancy-ne$lework & embroid]y1 z well z to give lessons 9 ,engli%4 ,"s ( ! eld] girls1 ,i soon f\nd1 7 fur!r advanc$ 9 fancy-ne$lework & "s o!r matt]s ?an ,i 0 myself4 ,?is1 ( c\rse1 ,i did n tell !m2 b to supply my defici5cy ,i sp5t _m a midnight h\r 9 /udy & 9 prep>+ myself to give ! advanc$ in/ructions :i* w\ld be requir$ by my pupils on ! foll[+ day4 ,= "s "t aft] ,i began my "w z tea*] 9 t s*ool1 ,i sp5t ! :ole ( my sal>y 9 pay+ = private lessons to keep me 9 advance ( my pupils4 ,x 0 = a:ile a sev]e task & a /ra9 ^u my y\?ful en]gies2 b ,i h nev] s9ce regrett$ x1 z x gave an impulse to my m9d t has rema9$ ) me ?r\gh life4 ,i _h n be5 m ?an six mon?s 9 my situation :5 ! p>5ts ( "o ( ! pupils object$ to ! s*ool reta9+ a ,prote/ant tea*]1 & ,i 0 consequ5tly giv5 to und]/& t unless ,i cons5t$ to be in/ruct$1 if no?+ m1 9 ! ,roman ,ca?olic fai?1 ,i c\ld n rema9 9 my pres5t position4 ,?is 0 my fir/ exp]i5ce ( t religi\s intol]ance ( :i* ,i aft]w>ds saw s mu*4 ,! pr9cipal ( ! e/abli%m5t1 h[ev]1 be+ v k9dly dispos$ t[>ds me1 advis$ me to submit1 & x 0 f9ally agre$ t ,i %\ld be all[$ twelve mon?s = in/ruction & consid]ation4 ,dur+ ?is probation>y ye> ,i att5d$ mass e morn+ f sev5 to eight o'clock1 & 0 pres5t at vesp]s at lea/ ?ree times a week4 ,e ,saturday morn+ ,i accompani$ my pupils to ! confessional1 :]e ,i _h to rema9 f sev5 o'clock till noon2 aft] :i* we return$ to breakfa/4 ,on ,sundays !re 0 ! usual morn+ mass1 & aft] t high mass2 & 9 ! aft]noon1 f two to f\r1 we li/5$ to a s]mon4 ,9 addition to all ^! s]vices1 at :i* ,i 0 expect$ to 8assi/10 a v good-look+1 int]e/+ "y prie/ 0 appo9t$ to att5d to ! spiritual in/ruction ( ! "y ,prote/ant1 z !y call$ me1 aft] s*ool h\rs4 ,he saw me frequ5tly1 b he 0 ill-qualifi$ to in/ruct me 9 ! ,ca?olic fai? or to remove my d\bts1 = he 0 n himself too happy 9 ! sac]dotal robe4 ,at fir/ he aim$ at conv9c+ me t ! apo/olic prie/hood ve/$ 9 ! fi%]m5 ( ,galilee _h desc5d$ 9 unbrok5 succession 9 ! ,*ur* ( ,rome2 b he seem$ to me mu* m incl9$ = a flirtation ?an = argum5t2 ,i ?\ght ,i c\ld at times discov] some?+ ( regret on 8 own "p at hav+ tak5 holy ord]s2 & 9 aft] ye>s ,i he>d t he _h ab&on$ 8 pr(ession4 ,to ! num]\s /ories ( ,ca?olic oppression & artifice 9 und]m9+ ,prote/ants & s$uc+ !m f _! fai?1 ,i _c add my own te/imony4 ,^? among :om ,i liv$ v naturally desir$ t ,i %\ld be in/ruct$ 9 _! religion1 & jo9 ! *ur* to :i* !y belong$2 b _! be>+ t[>ds me 0 ev] k9d & respectful2 al?\gh :5 ! twelve mon?s ( probation _h expir$1 ,i f\nd myself z mu* atta*$ to ! religion ( my *ildhood z ev]1 & _h 9 consequ5ce to resign my situation4 ,i _h made _m w>m fri5ds 9 ! s*ool1 & none 7 k9d] to me ?an ! pr9cipal1 :o prov$ h] atta*m5t by f9d+ = me a lucrative situation 9 a weal?y private family4 ,my new position 0 a decid$ advance 9 social life4 ,! family consi/$ ( husb& & wife1 two *ildr51 ! husb&'s bro!r1 & an eld]ly uncle4 ,! little girls 71 :5 ,i fir/ knew !m1 ( ! ages ( five & sev5 ye>s respectively4 ,! "y g5tleman allud$ to--! husb&'s bro!r--_h be5 educat$ = ! *ur*1 b :5 ! prop] "t came _h refus$ to take ord]s2 ! uncle 0 a f9e old g5tleman1 a retir$ g5]al 9 ! ,fr5* army1 & a ba*elor4 ,altoge!r !y =m$ z happy a dome/ic circle z ,i _h ev] kn[n4 ,! position :i* ,i occupi$ among !m 0 t ( gov]ness & ,engli% tea*] to ! two little girls4 ,my "y *>ges dur+ ! fir/ ye> made rapid progress1 :i* 0 v gratify+ to ! family1 & secur$ = me _! good-w & int]e/4 ,_h ,i be5 _! ne>e/ relative ,i c\ld n h receiv$ m respect & consid]ation f !m4 ,"o memb] ( ! circle alone seem$ to be entirely indiff]5t to my pres5ce2 ?is 0 ! bro!r ( ,monsieur ,d----4 ,?\gh ,i _h liv$ 9 ! same h\se ) him a :ole ye>1 & _h sat at ! same table e day1 sc>cely a ^w _h ev] pass$ betwe5 u beyond a =mal salutation4 ,! "y g5tleman 0 v h&some1 & :5 conv]s+ ) o!rs 8 mann] 0 extremely fasc9at+4 ,i did n believe t ,i p>ticul>ly desir$ 8 att5tions1 b 8 indiff]5ce annoy$ me--= ,i _h nev] be=e be5 treat$ ) su* coldness1 & ,i det]m9$ to become z frigid & =mal z he c\ld possibly be himself4 ,?is =mal acqua9tance%ip cont9u$ = two ye>s1 & ,i p]suad$ myself t ,i _h become altoge!r indiff]5t to ! pres5ce ( my icicle1 :ile at ! same "t all ! o!r memb]s ( ! family increas$ 9 _! manife/ations ( atta*m5t to me4 ,b trifles (t5 possess a great significance4 ,x 0 ! cu/om ( ! family to get up a little lott]y once a week = ! *ildr51 if my report ( _! deportm5t & progress 0 fav\rable4 ,9 ?is lott]y 7 pres5ts ( books1 toys1 gloves1 & a v>iety ( fancy articles1 & among !m !re 0 sure to be a b\quet ( *oice fl[]s = 8,mademoiselle-,miss10 z !y famili>ly call$ me4 ,i knew n positively :om to ?ank1 al?\gh ,i in/9ctively felt f :om !y came1 = ! o!r memb]s ( ! family always made me m useful pres5ts4 ,9 "t "o little att5tion l$ to ano!r1 until at ! end ( ?ree ye>s ,i f\nd myself ! fiance ( ! weal?y ,con/ant ,d----4 ,madame ,d---- 0 oppos$ to my m>riage ) h] bro!r-9-law1 z %e desir$ t he %\ld m>ry "o ( h] own weal?y c\s9s ( ! old noblesse ( ,france4 ,%e treat$ me1 not)/&+1 ) great k9dness1 & conf9$ h] opposition to p]suad+ me n to li/5 to h] bro!r's suit2 b f9d+ opposition to 8 wi%es ineffectual1 %e f9ally cons5t$ to our engagem5t1 :i* took place 9 ! foll[+ w9t]4 ,f :at ,i obs]v$ ( ! relations :i* exi/$ betwe5 husb&s & wives 9 ,france1 ,i did n feel p]fectly happy 9 ! ?\ght ( becom+ ! wife ( a ,fr5*man1 al?\gh ,i de>ly lov$ ! ,fr5* p4 ,sev]al ( my "y lady acqua9tances1 ,i knew1 _h m>ri$ because x 0 fa%ionable1 & especially because x 0 an emancipation f :at ladies 9 ! high] ranks ( society reg>d$ z a sev]e social re/ra9t4 ,x 0 consid]$ %ock+ = any "y lady to be se5 talk+ to a "y g5tleman 9 ! /reet2 inde$ x 0 h>dly prop] = any unm>ri$ girl to be se5 9 ! /reet at all )\t a bonne or "s m>ri$ lady to accompany h]4 ,b imm$iately %e 0 m>ri$ %e 0 at lib]ty to flirt & prom5ade ) all ! g5tlem5 ( h] acqua9tance1 :ile h] husb& enjoy$ ! same lib]ty among ! ladies4 ,?is /ate ( affairs did n at all co9cide ) my ,engli% ideas1 = to me ! v ?\ght ( m>riage 0 inve/$ ) ! mo/ sacr$ obligations1 & ,i knew ,i %\ld nev] be able to br+ my m9d to accept less f my husb& ?an ,i %\ld feel x my duty to r5d] to him4 ,i lov$ ! ,fr5* p1 & 0 pleas$ ) _! polite mann]ism1 b ,i 0 n ,fr5* 9 "*2 & ?\gh ! prospect be=e me ( an alliance ) a weal?y & noble family 0 c]ta9ly pleasant1 & ,i 0 greatly atta*$ to my fianc1 my m9d 0 consid]ably agitat$ ^u ! subject ( m>riage1 z x _h be=e be5 occupi$ ) religion4 ,dur+ my soj\rn 9 ,france ,i _h frequ5tly que/ion$ myself :e!r ,i _h n done wrong 9 rema9+ abs5t = s _m ye>s f my home & f communion ) ! *ur* ( my *ildhood1 & ,i _h always look$ =w>d to ! "t :5 ,i %\ld return to !m aga94 ,to ?is occasional self-exam9ation 0 n[ add$ ano!r cause ( anxiety1 produc$ by ! ?\ght ( m>riage ) a p]son ( a diff]5t fai?4 ,m>riage1 to me1 0 ! all-important ev5t 9 a woman's life1 & "s my/]i\s pres5tim5t seem$ to =ew>n me t m>riage 9 my life 0 to be m ?an an ord9>y episode--?\gh little did ,i !n dream t x w\ld h a polygamic %ap+4 ,my "y ambition alone _h l$ me to ,france4 ,i _h aspir$ to an hon\rable social position1 & _h f\nd bo? x & also devot$ fri5ds4 ,sometimes ,i felt t ,i c\ld n rel9qui% :at ,i _h ga9$2 at o!r times ,i ye>n$ = ! associations ( my *ildhood & ! guid+ h& ( e>li] fri5ds4 ,! conflict 9 my m9d 0 (t5 pa9ful4 ,my e>ly prejudices & ! tea*+s ( ^? ar\nd me induc$ me to believe t ! ,roman ,ca?olic religion 0 entirely wrong2 yet1 not)/&+1 :ile liv+ among ,ca?olics ,i saw no?+ to condemn 9 _! p]sonal lives1 b mu* to ! contr>y4 ,9 fact1 ,romanism fasc9at$ me1 :ile x fail$ to conv9ce my judgm5t4 ,:ile lab\r+ "u ^! conflict+ s5tim5ts1 ,i resolv$ to visit my native l&1 to consult ) my p>5ts ab\t my contemplat$ m>riage2 & = t purpose ,i ask$ & obta9$ two mon?s' vacation4 ,surely "s my/]i\s de/9y mu/ h be5 draw+ me to ,engl& at t p>ticul> crisis1 & be=e ! fulfill+ ( my engagem5t1 :i* w\ld h *ang$ s entirely ! :ole curr5t ( my exi/5ce4 ,,*apt] ,,ii4 ,,my ,,fir/ ,,introduction ,,to ,,mormonism4 ,dur+ my resid5ce 9 ,france1 my p>5ts _h left ,/4 ,heli]s & return$ to ,s\?ampton1 ,engl&4 ,to visit !m n[ ,i _h to take a sail+ vessel f ,portrieux to ! ,isle ( ,j]sey1 & !nce ,i c\ld take ! /eam] to ,s\?ampton4 ,monsieur & ,madame ,d----1 toge!r ) ! two little girls1 accompani$ me 9 _! private c>riage to ,portrieux1 a di/ance ( =ty miles1 9 ord] to confide me safely to ! capta9's c>e4 ,z !y wi%$ me 8bon voyage0 & embrac$ me affectionately1 ,mons4 ,d---- h&$ me a valuable purse = pocket-money dur+ my abs5ce1 & !y all exhibit$ great anxiety = my welf>e1 say+ ov] & ov] aga9 au revoir1 z !y ent]$ _! c>riage to return to _! happy home2--!reby imply+ t ?is 0 n a f9al adieu1 b t we %\ld soon meet aga94 ,i _c tell :y x 01 b ,i exp]i5c$ at t mom5t a pa9ful feel+ ( m5tal indecision ab\t ! future4 ,i _h no real reason to d\bt my return to ,france1 & ! c]ta9ty ( a w>m welcome :5 ,i %\ld aga9 greet ^? de> ones :o 7 n[ leav+ me 9 te>s2 b my m9d 0 tr\bl$ by a vague feel+ ( unc]ta9ty :i* made me any?+ b happy4 ,filial affection & a s5se ( duty drew me t[>ds my p>5ts 9 ,engl&2 :ile a feel+ ( gratitude1 &1 ,i ?9k1 ano!r & m t5d] s5tim5t1 turn$ ! curr5t ( my ?\ghts t[>ds ! happy home at ,/4 ,brieux4 ,x 0 n necess>y = me to /op 9 ,j]sey = m ?an a few h\rs1 b ,i want$ to revisit ! sc5es ( my *ildhood's happy days1 & to speak aga9 ) ^? :om ,i _h kn[n & lov$ 9 e>ly life4 ,9 lat] ye>s ! sc5es & memories ( *ildhood seem l ! imag9+s ( a pleasant dream4 ,a sweet *>m is ?r[n ar\nd all t we !n said & did2 & ! m5 & wom5 :o !n 7 kn[n to u are pictur$ 9 our recollection z be+s possess+ *>ms & graces su* z nev] belong$ to ! common-place *ildr5 ( e>?4 ,! glam\r ( a fairy w& is ov] all ! pa/ hi/ory ( mank9d2 b ^u no?+ does x ca/ s pot5t a spell z ^u ! p]sonal rem9isc5ces ( our own infant ye>s4 ,to me t little isl& _h *>ms :i* no /rang] c\ld ev] h discov]$2 & ev5 n[1 aft] ! lapse ( s _m long1 ev5tful ye>s ,i (t5 feel an e>ne/ wi% to visit aga9 ^? rock-b\nd %ores1 to li/5 to ! ev]la/+ murmur ( ! wild1 wild waves1 to wat* ! di/ant speck-l vessels f> away ^u ! swell+ ocean1 & to dr9k 9 ! invigorat+ breezes :i* seem to give life & en]gy to e pulsation ( ! liv+ s\l4 ,b ,i mu/ n !orize3 life has be5 to me too e>ne/ & too pa9ful to admit ( mu* s5tim5t or fancy z ,i recall ! pa/4 ,little z ,i ?\ght x1 dur+ ! %ort visit :i* ,i paid to my bir?place ! web ( de/9y 0 be+ wov5 = me 9 a way :i* ,i c\ld n !n h conjectur$ ev5 9 a dream4 ,at ,/4 ,heli]s ,i he>d = ! fir/ "t ( ! ,latt]-day ,sa9ts1 or ,mormonites1 z !y 7 m famili>ly call$2 b ,i _c express h[ p]fectly a/oni%$ ,i 0 :5 ,i le>n$ t my fa!r1 "m1 si/]s1 & "o ( my bro!rs _h be5 conv]t$ to ! new fai?4 ,x 0 my own bro!r-9-law :o told me ?is4 ,he himself1 ) my si/]1 7 8,apo/ate0 ,mormons4 ,!y _h be5 baptiz$ into ! ,mormon ,*ur*1 b became dissatisfi$1 & ab&on$ x4 ,! ,/4 ,heli]s bran* ( ! ,latt]-day ,sa9ts _h _h a turbul5t exp]i5ce4 ,_! fir/ tea*+s _h be5 a mixture ( ,bible texts ab\t ! la/ days1 & argum5ts ab\t ! mill5nium1 ! return ( ! ,jews to ,pale/9e1 ! resurrection ( ! dead1 & a new revelation & a new prophet2 b ! improp] conduct ( "s ( ! eld]s _h disgu/$ ! p ) _! doctr9es1 & ! tales ( wick$ness :i* ,i he>d 71 if true1 c]ta9ly suffici5t to ju/ify !m 9 reject+ su* in/ructors4 ,! m ,i he>d ( ?is /range religion ! m ,i 0 tr\bl$2 yet1 z ,i knew my p>5ts 7 devot$ ,*ri/ians1 ,i c\ld h>dly believe t ,mormonism 0 su* a vile delusion & impo/ure z x _h be5 repres5t$ to me1 or !y w\ld nev] h accept$ x3 /ill x 0 possible t !y _h be5 l$ a/ray by ! fasc9ations ( a new religion4 ,9 ?is /ate ( m9d ,i met 9 ! /reet ! wife ( ! ,bapti/ m9i/] :om ,i h already m5tion$4 ,%e greet$ me affectionately & !n began at once to w>n me aga9/ ! ,latt]-day ,sa9ts4 ,i inquir$ :at %e knew ( !m2 & %e repli$ t p]sonally %e knew no?+1 b %e believ$ !m to be s]vants ( ! ,evil ,"o1 add+1 8,!re is a /range p[] ) !m t fasc9ates ! p & draws !m into _! me%es 9 spite ( !mselves4 ,let me entreat y n to g ne> !m4 ,d n tru/ y\rself at "o ( _! meet+s1 or ! delusion w take hold ( y too40 8,i _c ignore ,mormonism 9 ?is way10 ,i said1 8or pass x by ) indiff]5ce2 = my p>5ts :om ,i t5d]ly love h be5 bl9d$ by ?is delusion1 & ,i c d no less ?an inve/igate its tea*+s ?or\ghly1 & if ,i f9d x false1 expose its errors1 &1 if possible1 save my fa!r's family f ru940 ,%e 0 n conv9c$ t ?is 0 ! wise/ c\rse = me to pursue1 b ,i resolv$ at once to att5d a meet+ ( ! ,sa9ts & judge = myself4 ,my bro!r-9-law1 :5 he he>d ( my int5tions1 tri$ to dissuade me1 b1 f9d+ me det]m9$1 f9ally (f]$ to escort me to ! meet+-place4 ,:at ,i he>d on ?is occasion made a great impression on my m9d1 & set me ?9k+ z ,i _h nev] ?\ght be=e4 ,on return+ to my si/]'s h\se %e ask$ me :at op9ion ,i _h n[ =m$ ( ! ,latt]-day ,sa9ts4 ,i repli$ t ,i _h n yet =m$ any conclusion1 b t :at ,i _h he>d _h giv5 me s]i\s cause = reflection4 8,oh10 %e said1 8y h caught ! ,mormon fev]1 ,i see40 ,i felt a disposition to res5t ?is implication1 b ,i 0 half afraid t1 aft] all1 my si/] 0 "r4 ,mu* t ,i _h he>d c\ld1 ,i knew1 be prov$ true f ,scripture2 & ! re/ seem$ to me to be capable ( demon/ration f ! same au?ority4 ,i resolv$1 h[ev]1 to =tify myself aga9/ a too easy cr$ulity1 & ?\ght t probably if ,i he>d m ( ^! doctr9es ,i might be able to discov] _! falsity4 ,on ! foll[+ day1 ! eld] :o _h prea*$ at ! meet+1 & :o1 by ! way1 is "o ( ! pres5t proprietors ( ! ,salt ,lake ,h]ald1 call$ to see me1 z he _h be5 intimate ) my p>5ts be=e !y left ! isl&4 ,i h>dly knew h[ to be civil to him1 ?\gh he _h done no?+ to (f5d me1 nor _h he be5 ! cause ( my p>5ts ent]+ ! ,mormon ,*ur*2 b ,i dislik$ him solely on acc\nt ( ! /ories :i* ,i _h he>d ab\t ! ,mormons4 ,int5d+ only to be k9d to me1 he told me t on ! foll[+ day he propos$ to take ! /eam] = ,s\?ampton1 z he 0 go+ to att5d a conf]5ce ( ! ,sa9ts 9 ,london1 & t he %\ld be pleas$ to %[ me any att5tions :ile cross+ ! ,*annel1 & w\ld see me safe home 9 ,engl&4 ,i confess ,i really felt insult$ at a ,mormon ,eld] (f]+ to be my escort2 & al?\gh my trunks 7 ready pack$ = my dep>ture by ! same /eam]1 & ,mr4 ,dunb> knew x1 ,i ?ank$ him politely1 b said ,i w\ld n g by t boat4 ,he tri$ to p]suade me to *ange my m9d1 & said t ,i %\ld h to wait a :ole week = ano!r vessel2 & at la/ ,i frankly told him ! abhorr5ce ,i felt at ! ?+s ,i _h he>d ab\t ! ,mormons1 & t ,i %\ld be afraid to travel 9 ! same /eam] ) him or any ( ! ,mormon ,eld]s :om ,i reg>d$ z no bett] ?an s _m :it$ sepul*res4 ,he1 h[ev]1 v k9dly took no (f5ce1 = he knew t ,i _h be5 li/5+ to ^? :o dislik$ ! ,sa9ts4 ,i felt a%am$ at hav+ be5 betray$ into su* unladylike rud5ess1 b1 not)/&+1 tri$ to p]suade myself t 8 civility 01 aft] all1 an insult2 = ,i _h conceiv$ a dete/ation ( e ,mormon1 on acc\nt ( ! deception :i* ,i felt sure _h be5 practis$ ^u my family4 ,?is feel+ 0 n less5$ by ! consci\sness t an impression _h be5 made ^u my own m9d4 ,! m 9 accordance ) ,scripture ! tea*+ ( ! ,eld]s appe>$1 ! m firmly ,i believ$ x mu/ be a p[]ful delusion4 ,"h1 ,i said1 ,satan has inde$ tak5 ! =m ( an angel ( light to deceive1 if possible1 ! v elect4 ,eld] ,dunb>1 f9d+ me unyield+1 left by ! next /eam]1 & _h a pleasant passage across ! ,*annel1 & ,i rema9$ on ! isl& ano!r week4 ,dur+ t int]val my m9d 0 haunt$ ) :at ,i _h he>d ( ?is new gospel disp5sation1 z x 0 call$4 ,t angels _h aga9 desc5d$ f heav5 to tea* man ^u e>?2 t a prophet _h be5 rais$ up to speak aga9 ! m9d ( ! ,"l to ! *ildr5 ( m52 t ! ,sa9ts 7 p>tak]s ( ! gifts ( ! ,_s1 z 9 ! ,e>ly ,*ri/ian ,*ur*1--all ^! assum$ facts took ! =m ( reality1 & came back into my m9d ) great] =ce e "t ,i /rove to drive !m away2 j z our ?\ghts d :5 we desire to sleep1 & _c--our v ef=ts to dismiss !m br+ !m back ) great] =ce to torm5t u4 ,we _h an unusually bad passage across ! ,*annel1 :i* annoy$ me all ! m :5 ,i rememb]$ my scornful refusal to g 9 ! same boat ) ,eld] ,dunb>4 ,on my arrival 9 ,s\?ampton ,i soon discov]$ t my fa!r1 "m1 & si/]s 7 full ( ! _s ( ,mormonism4 ,!y 7 rejoic+ 9 x1 ard5tly believ+ t x 0 ! fulness ( ! ev]la/+ gospel1 z ! ,eld]s /yl$ x2 & :atev] ,i might ?9k ( ! new religion1 ,i 0 =c$ to confess t x br\ght into my fa!r's h\se peace1 love1 k9dness1 & *>ity su* z 7 seldom se5 9 _m h\seholds ( religi\s p4 ,my si/]s 7 completely *ang$ 9 _! mann] ( life4 ,!y c>$ ,i no?+ = ! amusem5ts :i* girls ( _! age usually crave & enjoy4 ,_! :ole ?\ghts seem$ to be occupi$ ) ! ,*ur*1 att5d+ ! meet+s ( ! ,sa9ts1 & employ+ e leisure h\r 9 prep>+ com=ts = ! ,eld]s :o 7 travell+ & prea*+ )\t purse & scrip4 ,& 9 all ?is !y 7 z happy z *ildr54 ,( my p>5ts ,i might say ! same4 ,my de> "m rejoic$ 9 ! belief t %e _h be5 peculi>ly bless$ 9 be+ privileg$ to live at a "t :5 8! la/ disp5sation0 0 reveal$2 & my fa!r1 ?\gh an invalid1 rejoic$ t he _h ent]$ into ! k+dom by baptism4 ,su* 0 ! condition ( my fa!r's h\se2 & :o c wond] t1 accu/om$ z ,i 0 to li/5 ) respect to ! op9ions ( my p>5ts1 ,i 0 m ?an ev] tr\bl$ ab\t ! new religion :i* !y _h adopt$8 ,! fir/ ,sunday morn+ t ,i 0 9 ,engl&1 my p>5ts ask$ me to accompany !m to meet+1 & ,i readily compli$1 z ,i want$ to he> m ( ! /range doctr9es :i* 9 "s my/]i\s way _h made our family s happy1 b :i* 9 o!r qu>t]s _h provok$ su* bitt] ho/ility4 ,i "k n[ t ?is joy\sness ( he>t is n peculi> to new conv]ts to ,mormonism1 b may be f\nd among ! newly-conv]t$ ( e sect :i* all[s ! emotional feel+s to come into play4 ,to me1 at ! "t1 h[ev]1 x 0 a my/]y1 b ,i mu/ confess t ! *ange :i* _h tak5 place 9 ^? ne>e/ & de>e/ to me1 affect+ me p]sonally1 & be+ s evid5tly 9 accordance ) ! tea*+s ( ! ,savi\r1 l$ me to reg>d ,mormonism ) less antipa?y4 ,! bright side alone ( ! new fai? 0 pres5t$ to ! _w abroad2 we _h yet to g to ,utah & witness ! effects ( ,brigham ,"y's tea*+s at home be=e we c\ld "k :at ,mormonism really 04 ,i %all nev] =get ! trial x 0 to my pride to ent] ! dirty1 mean-look+ room :]e ! ,sa9ts assembl$ at t "t4 ,no "o w\ld r5t a respectable hall to !m1 & !y 7 glad to obta9 ! use ( any place :i* 0 l>ge en\gh = _! meet+s4 ,on ! pres5t occasion !re 0 a v fair ga!r+ ( p1 :o _h come toge!r influ5c$ by ! mo/ v>i$ motives4 ,! ,presid+ ,eld]--,i %\ld "h rem>k t ! ^w 8,eld]0 has among ! ,mormons no ref]5ce :atev] to age1 b is simply a rank 9 ! prie/hood--call$ ! meet+ to ord]1 & read ! foll[+ hymn3 ,! morn+ breaks1 ! %ad[s flee2 ,lo6 ,zion's /&>d is unfurl'd6 ,! dawn+ ( a bright] day ,maje/ic rises on ! _w4 ,! cl\ds ( error disappe> ,be=e ! rays ( tru? div9e2 ,! glory bur/+ f af>1 ,wide o'er ! nations soon w %9e6 ,! ,g5tile fulness n[ comes 91 ,& ,israel's bless+s are at h&2 ,lo6 ,judah's remnant1 cleans$ f s91 ,%all 9 ! promis$ ,canaan /&4 ,angels f heav5 & tru? f e>? ,h met1 & bo? h record borne2 ,?us ,zion's light is bur/+ =? ,to br+ h] ransom'd *ildr5 home4 ,e ^w ( ?is hymn _h a mean+ peculi> to itself1 relat+ to ! di/9ctive doctr9es ( ! ,sa9ts4 ,! congregation sang ) an en]gy & en?usiasm :i* made ! room %ake aga94 ,self & ! out] _w 7 alike =gott51 & an ec/asy ( rapture seem$ to possess ! s\ls ( all pres5t4 ,!n all kneel$ d[n1 & pray] 0 (f]$ = ! ,prophet1 ! apo/les1 high-prie/s1 8sev5ties10 eld]s1 prie/s1 tea*]s1 & deacons2 bless+s 7 invok$ ^u ! ,sa9ts1 & p[] to conv]t ! ,g5tiles2 & z ! e>ne/ words ( supplication left ! speak]'s lips1 ! congregation %\t$ a l\d 8,am540 ,!re 0 no prep>$ s]mon4 ,!re nev] is at a ,mormon meet+4 ,! p are taught t ! ,holy ,gho/ is 8m\?1 matt]1 & wisdom40 ,:atev] ! prea*+ ,eld] may say is suppos$ to come directly by inspiration f heav51 & ! ,sa9ts li/5+1 z !y believe1 n to 8 utt]ances b to ! words ( ,god ,himself1 h no?+ to d b to he> & obey4 ,! fir/ speak] on ?is occasion 0 a "y g5tleman ( respectable family1 :o _h be5 rec5tly baptiz$ & orda9$4 ,he1 too1 0 f ,/4 ,heli]s1 & ,i _h kn[n him f *ildhood4 ,8 address impress$ me v mu*4 ,he _h be5 a memb] ( ! ,bapti/ *ur*1 & he relat$ 8 exp]i5ce1 told h[ (t5 he _h wond]$ :y !re 7 n inspir$ m5 to prea* ! glad tid+s ( salvation to ! _w to-day1 z !re 7 eighte5 c5turies ago4 ,he spoke ( ! joy :i* he _h exp]i5c$ 9 be+ baptiz$ into ! ,mormon ,*ur* & realiz+ t he _h receiv$ ! 8gift ( ! ,holy ,gho/40 ,! simplicity ) :i* he spoke1 8 evid5t hone/y1 & ! sacrifice he _h made 9 leav+ ! respectable ,bapti/s & jo9+ ! despis$ ,mormons1 71 ,i ?\ght1 s _m evid5ces ( 8 s9c]ity4 ,alas6 h[ little c\ld t "y prea*] conjecture h[ diff]5t ! practical ,mormonism 9 ,utah 0 f ! !oretical ,mormonism :i* he _h le>n$ to believe 9 ,europe1 be=e polygamy 0 kn[n among ! ,sa9ts4 ,a %ort "t aft]w>ds he gave up 8 bus9ess1 m>ri$ an accompli%$ "y lady1 & w5t ) h] to ,salt ,lake ,city4 ,!re !y 7 soon utt]ly disgu/$ ) :at !y witness$1 apo/atiz$1 & set out = ,engl&4 ,:5 !y _h gone ?ree-f\r?s ( _! way back to ! ,miss\ri riv]1 ! "y man1 8 wife1 *ild1 & ano!r apo/ate & 8 wife1 7 kill$ by 8,indians30--su*1 at lea/1 0 ! report2 b diss5t+ ,mormons h always *>g$ _! 8tak+ (f0 to ! ord] ( ! lead]s ( ! ,mormon ,*ur*4 ,b to return to ! meet+4 ,! read] mu/ please =give me if ,i dwell a little ^u ! ev5ts ( t p>ticul> morn+1 = naturally !y made a deep impression ^u my own m9d--x 0 !re t ,i saw = ! fir/ "t my husb& :o 0 to be4 ,i _h he>d a good deal ab\t a c]ta9 ,eld]1 f my family & f ! ,sa9ts :o visit$ at our h\se4 ,!y spoke ) great en?usiasm ( ! e>ne/ness ) :i* he prea*$1 ( ! effect :i* 8 addresses produc$1 & ( 8 confid5ce 9 ! f9al triumph ( 8! k+dom40 ,at t "t--! summ] ( #ahdi--;al?\gh ! bran* ( ! ,mormon ,*ur* 9 ,brita9 0 9 a mo/ fl\ri%+ condition1 !re 7 n 9 ,engl& m ?an two or ?ree ,am]ican ,eld]s prea*+ ! fai?1 = :5--two ye>s be=e ! p]iod ( :i* ,i speak--! ,sa9ts left ,nauvoo & und]took t mo/ extraord9>y exodus across ! pla9s to ! ,rocky ,m\nta9s1 ! mission>y ,eld]s 7 all call$ home1 & ! "w ( proselytiz+ 9 ,europe 0 left entirely to ! native ,eld]s4 ,to direct _! lab\rs !re 0 plac$ ov] !m an ,am]ican eld] nam$ ,orson ,sp5c]1 a graduate ( ,d>tm\? ,univ]sity1 a s*ol> & a g5tleman--a man well calculat$ f 8 previ\s ,*ri/ian education to give an elevat$ tone to ! tea*+s ( ! "y ,engli% mission>ies4 ,mormonism 9 ,engl& !n1 _h no resemblance to ! ,mormonism ( ,utah to-day4 ,! ,mormons 7 !n simply an e>ne/ religi\s p1 9 _m respects l ! ,me?odi/s1 especially 9 _! mission>y zeal & f]v\r ( _s4 ,! ,mormon ,*ur* abroad 0 purely a religi\s in/itution1 & ,mormonism 0 prea*$ by ! ,eld]s z ! gospel ( ,*ri/ianity re/or$4 ,! ,*ur* _h no political %ap+ nor ! remote/ antagonism to ! civil p[]4 ,! "n ( ,joseph ,smi? 0 seldom spok51 & /ill m seldom 0 he>d ! "n ( ,brigham ,"y1 & !n only s f> z !y _h ref]5ce to ! ,*ur* ( ! ,sa9ts4 ,ab\t eighte5 mon?s be=e ,i visit$ ,s\?ampton1 "o ( ^! mission>ies _h come into t t[n1 8)\t purse or scrip40 ,he 0 q a "y man & almo/ p5niless1 b he 0 ri* 9 fai? & ov]fl[+ ) zeal4 ,he knew no "o !re2 & homeless1 & frequ5tly hungry1 he cont9u$ 8 lab\rs4 ,( fa/+ he knew mu*1 ( fea/+ no?+4 ,he fir/ prea*$ "u ! bran*es ( a spread+ bee*-tree 9 a public p>k1 & :5 m fav\r$ he held =? 9 a s*ool-room or public hall4 ,he _h come to conv]t ! p to ,mormonism1 or he 0 go+ to die among !m2 & be=e su* zeal & det]m9ation1 disc\ragem5ts1 ( c\rse1 soon vani%$ away4 ,he tr\bl$ ! m9i/]s ( o!r diss5t+ *ur*es :5 !y f\nd him di/ribut+ tracts & talk+ to _! p4 ,he 0 s[+ broadca/ dissatisfaction & discont5t :]ev] he c\ld get any "o to li/5 to him1 & ?us he drew d[n ^u himself ! eloqu5ce ( ! diss5t+ pulpits & ! d]ision ( ! local press4 ,b ! m !y attack$ him ! m zeal\sly did he lab\r1 & defi$ 8 oppon5ts to public discussion4 ,mormonism 0 bold !n 9 ,europe--x _h no ,am]ican hi/ory to meet 9 ^? days4 ,?is1 & a great deal m1 ,i _h he>d discuss$ 9 gl[+ language by my relatives & fri5ds2 & ?us ! "y mission>y--,eld] ,/5h\se--01 by "n1 no /rang] to me4 ,x 0 ,eld] ,/5h\se :o n[ address$ ! meet+1 & ,i li/5$ to him ) att5tion4 ,! read] mu/ rememb] t at t "t polygamy 0 unhe>d ( z a doctr9e ( ! ,sa9ts1 & ! blood-atonem5t1 ! doctr9e t ,adam is ,god1 toge!r ) ! poly!ism & prie/ly !ocracy ( aft]-ye>s1 7 ?+s undream$ (4 ,! sav+ love ( ,*ri/1 ! glory & fulness ( ! ev]la/+ ,gospel1 ! gifts & graces ( ! ,_s1 toge!r ) rep5tance1 baptism1 & fai?1 7 ! po9ts ^u :i* ! ,mormon tea*]s t\*$2 & :o c wond] t ) su* topics z ^!1 & =tify+ e /atem5t ) p[]ful & num]\s texts ( ,scripture1 !y %\ld captivate ! m9ds ( religi\sly incl9$ p8 ,h[ev] ?is may be1 ,i c only confess t1 z ,i li/5$ to ,eld] ,/5h\se's e>ne/ disc\rse1 ,i felt my antipa?y to ,mormonism rapidly melt+ away4 ,at ! close ( ! s]vice1 :5 he left ! plat=m1 he 0 w>mly receiv$ by ! bre?r5 & si/]s1 = s ! ,sa9ts speak ( "o ano!r1 & !y came ab\t him to %ake h&s1 or x might be to seize ! opportunity ( slipp+ a trifle into 8 h& to help him 9 8 "w4 ,"y & old1 ! poor & _! m weal?y neighb\rs1 m+l$ toge!r l "o happy family4 ,x 0 altoge!r a mo/ pleas+ sc5e2 &1 :atev] explanation may yet be giv5 to ,mormonism 9 ,am]ica1 "o ?+ ,i "k--! facts ( its e>ly hi/ory 9 ,europe are among ! mo/ pleasant rem9isc5ces ( my life4 ,eld] ,/5h\se came up 9 a famili> & op5-he>t$ way to my "m & si/]s1 & ,i 0 introduc$ to him z 8! o!r daught] f ,france40 ,he k9dly welcom$ me1 & :5 ,i frankly told him ! /ate ( my m9d1 he made1 ,i mu/ admit1 a successful attempt to solve my d\bts1 & :5 ,i left ! meet+ x 0 ) s5tim5ts t[>ds ! ,sa9ts & _! religion f> diff]5t f ^? :i* ,i ent]ta9$ :5 ,i ent]$4 ,?is meet+ 0 a memorable era 9 my life4 ,,*apt] ,,iii4 ,,! ,,lab\r ,,( ,,my ,,life ,,begun3--,,h[ ,,! ,,mormon ,,mission>ies ,,made ,,conv]ts4 ,9 ! aft]noon ,i att5d$ a meet+ ( a /ill m int]e/+ "*4 ,^! ,sunday aft]noon meet+s 7 held = ! purpose ( receiv+ ! sacram5t1 & ! confirmation ( ^? :o _h be5 baptiz$ dur+ ! week2 !y 7 int5d$ exclusively = ! ,sa9ts1 b = c]ta9 reasons ,i 0 p]mitt$ to be pres5t4 ,! meet+ 0 op5$ ) s++ & pray]1 & !n ! presid+ ,eld]--,bro!r ,c[dy--arose1 & invit$ all ^? :o _h be5 baptiz$ dur+ ! week to come to ! front seats4 ,sev]al ladies & g5tlem5 came =w>d1 & also ?ree little *ildr54 ,^u inquiry ,i f\nd t *ildr5 ( eight ye>s ( age 7 admitt$ memb]s ( ! ,*ur* by baptism--:i* is adm9i/]$ by imm]sion4 ,at t age !y are suppos$ to und]/& :at !y are do+2 b be=e t1 if ( ,mormon p>5ts1 !y are consid]$ memb]s ( ! ,*ur* by virtue ( ! bless+ :i* !y receiv$ 9 infancy4 ,bro!r ,c[dy--! presid+' ,eld]--!n call$ ^u two o!r ,eld]s to assi/ him 9 ! confirmation4 ,"o ( ! ladies took (f h] bonnet1 b reta9$ h] seat1 :5 all ?ree ( ! ,eld]s plac$ _! h&s ^u h] head1 & "o ( !m said3-- 8,m>?a2 by virtue ( ! au?ority ve/$ 9 u1 we confirm y a memb] ( ! ,*ur* ( ,jesus ,*ri/ ( ,latt]-day ,sa9ts2 & z y h be5 ob$i5t to ! tea*+s ( ! ,eld]s1 & h gone d[n into ! wat]s ( baptism = ! remission ( y\r s9s1 we conf] ^u y ! ,gift ( ! ,holy ,gho/1 t x may abide ) y = ev]1 & be a lamp unto y\r feet1 & a light ^u y\r pa?way1 lead+ & guid+ y into all tru?4 ,?is bless+ we confirm ^u y\r head1 9 ! "n ( ! ,fa!r1 & ( ! ,son1 & ( ! ,holy ,gho/4 ,am540 ,!n1 be=e !y took _! h&s (f h] head1 ! presid+ ,eld] ask$ ! o!r two if !y wi%$ to say any?+4 ,:]eupon "o ( !m began to invoke a bless+ ^u ! newly-confirm$ si/]4 ,he spoke = "s "t ) extreme e>ne/ness1 :5 sudd5ly he 0 seiz$ ) a n]v\s trembl+ :i* 0 q p]ceptible1 & :i* evid5tly betok5$ int5se m5tal or physical excitem5t4 ,he began to prophecy great ?+s = ?is si/] 9 ! future1 & 9 solemn & my/]i\s language proclaim$ ! wond]s :i* ,god w\ld p]=m = h] sake4 ,:5 we consid] ! excit$ /ate ( h] m9d1 &--if ! /atem5ts ( psy*ologi/s be true--! magnetic curr5ts :i* 7 be+ transmitt$ f ! s5sitive nature ( ! man into ! excit$ bra9 ( ! new conv]t1 toge!r ) ! pressure ( half a doz5 human h&s ^u h] head1 x is n at all a/oni%+ t :5 ! h&s 7 lift$ (f %e %\ld firmly believe t %e _h be5 bless$ inde$4 ,%e _h be5 told t %e %\ld receive ! ,gift ( ! ,holy ,gho/2 & %e did n = an in/ant d\bt t h] expectations _h be5 realiz$4 ,ea* ( ! newly-baptiz$ w5t ?r\gh ! same c]emony1 & !n !y all p>took ( ! sacram5t1 :51 aft] ano!r hymn1 ! meet+ 0 clos$ ) pray]4 ,9 ! ev5+ ,i return$1 to li/5 to a lecture ^u 8! "*1 _s1 & g5ius0 ( ! new *ur*1 deliv]$ by ,eld] ,/5h\se2 & ,i 0 captivat$ by ! picture :i* he drew ( ! m>vell\s latt]-day "w :i* he affirm$ _h already begun4 ,! visions ( by-gone ages 7 aga9 v\*saf$ to m52 angels _h visibly desc5d$ to e>?2 ,god _h rais$ up 9 a mighty way a ,prophet1 z ( old1 to prea* ! disp5sation ( ! la/ days2 gifts ( prophecy1 heal+1 & ! work+ ( miracles 7 n[1 z 9 ! days ( ! ,apo/les1 witnesses to ! p[] ( ,god4 ,! long-lo/ tribes ( ,israel 7 ab\t to be ga!r$ into ! "o great fold ( ,*ri/2 & ! fulness ( ! ,g5tiles be+ come1 !y1 too1 7 to be tak5 "u ! c>e ( ! ,good ,%eph]d4 ,all 7 freely invit$ to come & ca/ away _! s9s1 ere x 0 too late2 & ! fulle/ (f]s ( p>don1 grace1 sanctification1 & bless+1 9 ?is _w & 9 ! next1 7 pres5t$ to e rep5tant s\l4 ,surely1 ,i ?\ght1 ^! are ! self-same doctr9es :i* my "m taught me1 :5 ,i knelt beside h] 9 *ildhood1 & :i* ,i h s (t5 he>d--only 9 cold] & less p]suasive language--urg$ f ! pulpits ( ^? :om ,i h ev] reg>d$ 9 ! light ( true disciples ( ,jesus4 ,:o c wond] t ,i li/5$ ) rapt att5tion1 & t my he>t 0 ev5 !n half won to ! new fai?8 ,! days pass$2 & z ,i pond]$ ov] ^! ?+s x appe>$ to me t ,i _h at la/ f\nd t :i* ,i _h s long e>ne/ly desir$ & pray$ =--a k ( t true religion = :i* ! ,savi\r pres5t$ ,himself a ,holy ,sacrifice1 & :i* ! ,apo/les prea*$ at p]il ( _! lives--! only fai?1 9 :i* ,i might f9d joy & peace 9 believ+4 ,b :y %\ld ,i dwell ^u ^? mom5ts1 s\l-absorb+ z 0 _! int]e/ to me !n--sadly-pleas+ z is _! memory n[6 ,! read] c see ! drift ( my ?\ghts at t "t2 & ,i feel sure1 al?\gh ,i h b ha/ily sket*$ ! causes :i* br\ght ab\t ^! great *anges 9 my religi\s belief & 9 my life1 t he w n ha/ily accuse me ( fickl5ess & love ( *ange1 if he himself has f\ght ! battles ( ! s\l1 & has le>n$ ev5 9 a slight measure to realize ! my/]y ( 8 inn] be+4 ,ea* day ! f+] ( de/9y drew me ne>] to ! f9al /ep4 ,! "y ,eld]1 ^: words ,i _h li/5$ to ) su* /range &1 to me1 mom5t\s results1 0 intimate ) my fa!r's family1 & call$ frequ5tly to see u1 & be=e long he conv9c$ me t x 0 my duty to te/ = myself :e!r ! "w 0 ( ,god1 or n4 ,9 ! agitat$ /ate ( my m9d at t "t1 ,i c\ld n )/& ! e>ne/ appeals :i* 7 made to my affections & hopes2 & )9 two weeks aft] my arrival 9 ,engl& ,i became =mally a memb] ( ! ,*ur* ( ,jesus ,*ri/ ( ,latt]-day ,sa9ts2 or 9 m popul> language--,i became a ,mormon4 ,! day 0 fix$ = my baptism4 ,sev]al o!rs 7 to be baptiz$ at ! same "t2 = sc>cely a week pass$ )\t q a numb] ( p]sons jo9+ ! ,*ur*4 ,= ?is purpose we all repair$ to a ba?-h\se on ! banks ( ! ,s\?ampton riv]4 ,?is place 0 n p]haps ! mo/ conv5i5t1 & x c]ta9ly 0 devoid ( ! slighte/ t+e ( romance2 b x 0 ! only "o available to ! sa9ts at t "t4 ,:5 we 7 all assembl$ & _h unit$ 9 s++ & pray]1 ,eld] ,/5h\se w5t d[n into ! wat] fir/1 & !n two m5 w5t d[n & 7 baptiz$1 & came up aga94 ,n[ came my turn4 ,i 0 greatly agitat$1 = ,i felt all ! solemnity ( ! occasion4 ,i _h dress$ myself v neatly & purely1 = ,i believ$ t angel eyes 7 ^u me2 ,i wi%$ to give myself--a p]fect & acceptable (f]+--to my ,god1 & ,i 0 fill$ ) ! det]m9ation h5ce=? to devote my :ole life to ,8 s]vice4 ,z ,i w5t d[n into ! wat]s ( baptism1 h[ ?ankful ,i felt t x _h be5 my privilege to he> ! gospel 9 my y\?1 = n[ ,i c\ld give my he>t 9 all its fre%ness to ! ,"l1 be=e x _h be5 *ill$ by ! cold1 h>d exp]i5ce ( life4 ,i desc5d$ ! /eps1 & ,eld] ,/5h\se came =w>d & l$ me out into ! wat]2 !n1 tak+ bo? my h&s 9 "o ( 81 he rais$ 8 o!r h& t[>ds heav51 & 9 a solemn & impressive voice he said1-- 8,fanny2 by virtue ( ! au?ority ve/$ 9 me1 ,i baptize y = ! remission ( y\r s9s2 9 ! "n ( ! ,fa!r1 & ( ! ,son1 & ( ! ,holy ,gho/4 ,am540 ,!n he imm]s$ me 9 ! wat]2 & z ,i reasc5d$ ! /eps1 ,i really felt l ano!r be+3 all my pa/ 0 buri$ 9 ! deep--! wat]s ( baptism _h wa%$ away my s9s2 & a new life lay op5 be=e me1 9 :i* my foot/eps w\ld be guid$ by ! inspir$ s]vants ( ,god4 ,all n[ w\ld be peace & joy )9 me1 = ,i _h obey$ ! comm&s ( ,god1 & ,i d\bt$ n t ,i %\ld receive ! promis$ bless+1 & t n[ ,i c\ld inde$ g on my way rejoic+4 ,my baptism took place "o ,saturday aft]noon1 & ! aft]noon foll[+ ,i 0 confirm$ a memb] ( ! ,*ur*4 ,eld] ,/5h\se presid$ at ! meet+1 & he1 ) ,eld] ,c[dy1 & two o!r eld]s1 confirm$ me4 ,z ! 8bless+0 :i* ,i !n myself receiv$ diff]s some:at f ! "o :i* ,i h already giv51 & z x is a v fair specim5 ( ^? effusions1 ,i pres5t x to ! read] 9 full4 ,eld] ,/5h\se1 ,eld] ,c[dy1 & ! two o!r ,eld]s1 plac$ _! h&s solemnly ^u my head1 & ,eld] ,/5h\se said1-- 8,fanny2 by virtue ( ! au?ority ve/$ 9 me1 ,i confirm y a memb] ( ! ,*ur* ( ,jesus ,*ri/ ( ,latt]-day ,sa9ts2 & inasmu* z y h be5 ob$i5t to ! comm& ( ,god1 ?r\gh 8 s]vants1 & h be5 baptiz$ = ! remission ( y\r s9s1 ,i say unto y t ^? s9s are remitt$4 ,& 9 ! "n ( ,god ,i bless y1 & say unto y1 t inasmu* z y are fai?ful & ob$i5t to ! tea*+s ( ! prie/hood1 & seek ! advancem5t ( ! k+dom1 !re is no good ?+ t y\r he>t c desire t ! ,"l w n give unto y4 ,y %all h visions & dreams1 & angels %all visit y by day & by night4 ,y %all /& 9 ! temple 9 ,zion1 & adm9i/] to ! ,sa9ts ( ! ,mo/ ,high ,god4 ,y %all speak 9 tongues1 & prophecy2 & ! ,"l %all bless y abundantly1 bo? temporally & spiritually4 ,^! bless+s ,i seal ^u y\r head1 inasmu* z y %all be fai?ful2 & ,i pray heav5 to bless y2 & say unto y--,be ?\ bless$1 9 ! "n ( ! ,fa!r1 & ( ! ,son1 & ( ! ,holy ,gho/4 ,am540 ,aft] ! meet+1 ,i receiv$ ! congratulations ( all ! ,sa9ts pres5t1 & m p>ticul>ly ^? ( my own family4 ,my de> "m & fa!r 7 ov]joy$2 & ,i n[ le>n$ h[ anxi\s !y _h be51 & h[ !y _h fe>$ t ,i %\ld return to ,france & reject ! fai? ( ! new disp5sation4 ,altoge!r we 7 v happy4 ,eld] ,/5h\se & ,eld] ,c[dy return$ home ) u to tea1 & aft]w>ds we all att5d$ ! usual ev5+ lecture4 ,9 ?is way 0 pass$ "o ( ! happie/ days ( my life--"o :i* ,i %all ev] rememb]2--& yet t memory w always be m+l$ ) regret t s mu* love & devotion z ,i !n felt 7 n enli/$ 9 a bett] cause4 ,?us began a new era 9 my life4 ,all my =m] fri5ds & associations 7 n[ to be rememb]$ no m2 my lot 0 ca/ among ! ,sa9ts2 & 9 ! /ate ( my m9d at t "t1 ,i believ$ t ,i %\ld be happy 9 my new position1 & resolv$ to give evid5ce ( ! s9c]ity ( my fai?4 ,! untir+ en]gy & re/less activity ( ,eld] ,/5h\se 0 ev] be=e our eyes1 & inspir$ all :o associat$ ) him ) a simil> en?usiasm4 ,!re 7 no drones 9 t hive4 ,! bre?r51 at a ^w f him1 w\ld roam ! c\ntry1 tea*+ & prea*+ 9 ! op5 air1 :ile ! si/]s w\ld g f h\se to h\se 9 ! city1 di/ribut+ tracts ab\t ! new fai?4 ,i caught ! en?usiasm ( ! re/1 & 0 soon 9 ! ranks ) ! o!r si/]s1 z devot$ 9 my endeav\rs z a "y1 ambiti\s he>t c\ld be4 ,i 0 inde$ l "o born aga9 f an old exi/5ce into a new life4 ,i felt grateful & happy--,i began to dream ( ! et]nal hon\r :i* cr[ns a fai?ful mission>y life2 & ,i soon f\nd an ample field = te/+ my fitness = t vocation4 ,at ! "t ( :i* ,i speak1 ! ,primitive ,me?odi/s 9 ,engl& 7 do+ a great "w 9 ! way ( conv]t+ s9n]s4 ,_! mission>ies 7 zeal\s & devot$ m51 ?\gh g5]ally poor & un$ucat$4 ,!y resembl$ v closely ! ,mormon eld]s 9 _! lab\rs2 &1 9 fact1 a v l>ge numb] ( ! lead+ ,mormons _h be5 ,me?odi/ local-prea*]s & exhort]s2 & ! great] numb] ( ! new-born ,sa9ts _h come f t d5om9ation ) _! =m] tea*]s1 or else _h foll[$ !m soon aft]4 ,! *ange f ,me?odi/ to ,mormon 01 9 c\rse ( "t1 v /rongly m>k$2 b = a consid]able p]iod ! same1 or :at seem$ ! same1 influ5ces 7 at "w among ! p4 ,rem>kable sc5es ( excitem5t 7 (t5 witness$ at ! 8love fea/s20 & f ! 8anxi\s seats10 z !y 7 call$1 might be he>d1 ! entreaties ( self-accus+ s\ls1 fright5$ by a multitude ( s9s1 cry+ e>ne/ly1 nay1 wildly1 = grace1 m]cy1 & ! ,holy ,gho/2 :ile _m ( ! supplicants w\ld fall ^u ! gr\nd1 completely ov]come by n]v\s excitem5t4 ,!n !y w\ld h visions1 & beheld great & unutt]able ?+s2 receiv$ ! =giv5ess ( _! s9s2 &1 com+ back to consci\sness1 believ$ !mselves n[ to be ! *ildr5 ( ,god1 & new creatures2 d\bt+ n t !y w\ld ev] aft] be happy 9 ! ,"l4 ,! exp]i5ce ( ! ,sa9ts at _! meet+s1 :5 ,mormonism 0 fir/ prea*$1 0 exactly simil> to ?is4 ,into ! psy*ological1 moral1 or religi\s causes ( ^! sc5es ( excitem5t ,i _c "h ent]2--,i simply m5tion facts z !y came "u my own obs]vation4 ,! ,mormon ,mission>y (t5 came ^u :ole communities 9 ! rural di/ricts ( ,engl&1 :]e ?is 8good "t0 0 9 full op]ation2 & be+ a man ( texts he w\ld foll[ up ! revival1 prea*+ t ! _s ( ! prophet 0 subject to ! prophet1 & n ! prophet subject to ! _s4 ,controv]sy w\ld arise1 & 8 appeal to ,scripture1 lit]ally int]pret$1 0 almo/ inv>iably triumphant4 ,ev5 9 ,am]ica1 especially 9 ,new ,york & ,ohio1 ! same causes produc$ ! same effects4 ,x 0 aft] 8 m9d 0 excit$ by a g5]al revival ne> 8 native place1 t ,joseph ,smi?1 ! f\nd] ( ,mormonism1 receiv$ 8 fir/ religi\s impression1 & saw1 z he ass]t$1 8 fir/ angelic vision4 ,8 foll[]s1 ev5 9 ! e>ly days ( ! ,*ur*1 _h revival-meet+s & meet+s at :i* ! mo/ extraord9>y excitem5t 0 manife/$1--:5 ! ,sa9ts fell into ec/atic trances1 saw heav5 op5$1 & spake ) tongues4 ,b ,joseph1 %rewd man z he 01 albeit 8a prophet10 :5 he f\nd too _m rival se]s 7 com+ into ! field1 ann\nc$ by 8special revelation10 t ^! too-gift$ p]sons 7 possess$ by devils1 & t _! visions & prophesy+s mu/ be at once suppress$4 ,& he did suppress !m4 ,n long aft] my own baptism ,i 0 pres5t at a meet+ ( ?is description1 9 ,s\?ampton4 ,x 0 call$ a 8te/imony meet+10 & 0 held 9 a l>ge upp] room situat$1 if ,i rightly rememb]1 9 ,*&os ,/reet4 ,no "o f ! outside w\ld h suppos$ t x 0 ! place ( assembly ( ! ,sa9ts1 = x 0 g5]ally us$ = ord9>y secul> meet+s1 & ,i h he>d t great objections 7 at fir/ rais$ z to ! propriety ( lett+ x to ! ,mormons4 ,z we ent]$ ! door1 we 7 salut$ by ,bro!r ,williams1 :o express$ great pleasure at see+ u4 ,!re 0 a full att5dance ( ! ,sa9ts1 & e face wore an expression ( peaceful e>ne/ness4 ,a p]son :o has nev] att5d$ a ,mormon meet+ c =m no idea ( ! joy\s _s :i* seem$ to animate e "o pres5t4 ,i am n1 ( c\rse1 speak+ ( mod]n meet+s1 b ( meet+s z !y us$ to be4 ,:5ce & :atev] t 8_s0 might be :i* mov$ ! si/]s & bre?r5 :5 !y met 9 e>ly times1 ,i _c tell2 b ,i1 & ) me1 t5 ?\s& ,mormons & sec$+ ,mormons 9 ,utah1 c1 f our own exp]i5ce1 te/ify t t _s no long] visits ! ,tab]nacle s]vices ov] :i* ,brigham ,"y presides1 or ! meet+s ( ! ,sa9ts s9ce !y adopt$ ! accurs$ doctr9e ( polygamy1 & =sook ! g5tle lead+s ( _! fir/ love4 ,(t5 h ,i he>d ,mormons ( good /&+ & high position 9 ! ,*ur*1 lam5t ! 8good old times0 z !y call$ !m1 :5 ! outp\r+ ( ! ,_s 0 s abundant1 & m\rn ov] ! cold1 b>r5 s]vices ( ! pres5t day4 ,b ! eld]s expla9 ?is away4 ,x is1 !y say1 ! fault ( ! p !mselves1 & because _! own he>ts h become cold4 ,at ! meet+ ( :i* ,i speak1 t happy _s 0 peculi>ly m>k$4 ,an enc\rag+ smile1 or a k9d ^w1 greet$ me on e side1 &1 z a newly-conv]t$ si/]1 ,i receiv$ ! mo/ cordial welcome4 ,! bre?r5 7 seat$ on =ms & *airs & any o!r conv5i5t article :i* came to h&1 :ile at ! fur!r end ( ! room 0 ,bro!r ,b5*1 :o 0 to preside1 & ) him sev]al o!r lead+ ,eld]s4 ,bro!r ,b5* gave out a suitable hymn4 ,! :ole congregation jo9$ 9 ! s++1 & e he>t seem$ lift$ up ) devotion4 ,!n ano!r ,eld] rose1 & (f]$ a _s-mov+ pray]2 & !n ! bro!r :o presid$ /at$ t = ! "t he )drew 8 control ( ! proce$+s1 &1 z ! phrase 01 he 8put ! meet+ 9 ! h&s ( ! ,sa9ts10 exhort+ !m n to let ! "t pass by unimprov$4 ,!n arose ,bro!r ,edw>ds1 a well-tri$ *ampion ( ! fai?1 & to him e "o li/5$ ) pr(\nd att5tion1 eag]ly dr9k+ 9 8 e utt]ance4 ,i c\ld almo/1 ev5 n[1 imag9e t he 0 really inspir$4 ,!n ,i firmly believ$ he 04 ,8 voice ?rill$ ) an e>ne/ness :i* seem$ to u some?+ m ?an ! m]e excitem5t ( ! s\l4 ,a burn+ fire seem$ to fla% f 8 l>ge1 expressive eyes2 8 features 7 light$ up ) t animation :i* gives a sa9t-l halo to ! e>ne/ face :5 fir$ ) indignation or plead+ s\l-felt tru?s2 :ile 8 :ole frame seem$ to gl[ ) ! glory ( a l& beyond ?is e>?1 z 9 ! mo/ impressive & conv9c+ language he rem9d$ u t our s9s _h be5 wa%$ away by ! wat]s ( baptism1 t ^u u _h be5 p\r$ ! gifts & graces ( ! ,_s1 & t x 0 our sacr$ privilege to te/ify ( ^! ?+s4 ,! effect ( ?is exhortation 0 magical4 ,we =got all our outw>d surr\nd+s1 9 ! realization t ! great "w ( ! ,"l 0 s glori\sly begun1 & t x w\ld surely g on1 conqu]+ & to conqu]4 ,"o si/]--an eld]ly woman--:o 0 pres5t1 unable to control h] emotion1 bur/ out ) t ,mormon hymn :i* ,i h he>d "s old ,nauvoo ,sa9ts decl>e produc$ ^u ! p 9 ^? days an en?usiasm simil> to t :i* moves ! he>t ( e true ,fr5*man :5 he li/5s to ! s\l-/irr+ notes ( ! ,m>seillaise3-- ,! ,_s ( ,god l a fire is burn+6 ,! latt] day glory beg9s to come =?2 ,! visions & bless+s ( old are return+1 ,! angels are com+ to visit ! e>?4 ,we'll s+ & we'll %\t ) ! armies ( heav51 ,hosannah6 ,hosannah to ,god & ! ,lamb1 ,all glory to !m 9 ! highe/ be giv5 ,h5ce=? & = ev]3 ,am51 & ,am54 ,i h (t5 he>d 9 magnific5t ca!drals1 ho>y ) ! du/ ( "t1 & 9 va/ places ( amusem5t d$icat$ specially to music & to song1 ! outp\r+ ( t glori\s vocal flood1 :i* a *orus ( a ?\s& well-tra9$ s+]s c alone s5d =?4 ,i h felt sometimes t entranc+ /ate ( ec/asy :i* ?rill$ ! s\l ( ! se] 9 ,patmos1 z he li/5$ to ! melody ( ! angelic ?rong--8! voice ( _m wat]s1 & ! peal ( mighty ?und]s1 & ! notes ( h>p]s h>p+ ^u _! h>ps20 b nev]1 ev5 :5 surr\nd$ by all t 0 be/ calculat$ to produce a s5tim5t ( devotion 9 my m9d--nev] did ,i exp]i5ce s rapt a feel+ ( communion ) 8! armies ( heav50--z ,i felt 9 t unadorn$ meet+-room1 surr\nd$ by ^? pla9 b e>ne/ & unit$ p4 ,nor 0 ,i alone 9 ?is4 ,! feel+ 0 contagi\s4 ,!re 0 n "o pres5t :o did n sympa?ize4 ,& ?us1 ,i suppose1 melody has always play$ a prom95t "p 9 all religi\s revivals1 :e!r ( div9e or human orig94 ,! ,apo/les _h _! psalms1 & hymns1 & spiritual songs2 ! ,m>tyrs _! ,te ,deum2 ! ,wald5ses made ! hills & vales ( ,pi$mont vocal ) _! s++2 ! ,loll>ds & ,hussites _h _! melodies2 & 9 m mod]n days ! foll[]s ( ,lu!r1 ,wesley1 & 7may ,i add87 ,joseph ,smi?1 h p\r$ out ! fulness ( _! s\ls aft] ! same fa%ion4 ,! la/ notes ( ! hymn _h sc>cely di$ away :5 ano!r1 & !n ano!r bro!r1 arose & bore te/imony to ! great "w1 told :at ! ,"l _h done = !m p]sonally1 told ( _! zeal = ! fai?1 & f]v5tly exhort$ all pres5t to p]sev]e unto ! end4 ,aga9 pray] 0 (f]$1 ano!r hymn sung1 & ! ,sa9ts 7 dismiss$ ) a solemn b5$iction4 ,,*apt] ,,iv4 ,,life ,,among ,,! ,,sa9ts--,,my ,,new ,,engagem5ts4 ,i 0 n[ a ,mormon 9 e s5se ( ! ^w1 al?\gh entirely ignorant ( ,utah politics & polygamy4 ,my dreams 7 ( a life ( happ9ess sp5t 9 seek+ to conv]t ! :ole _w to ! religion ( ,jesus1 :i* ,i believ$ _h be5 re/or$ aga9 to e>? by ! m9i/ry ( holy angels4 ,x is easy to say t su* an ambition 0 ill-direct$ :5 associat$ ) ,mormonism1 b no "o c d5y t1 9 itself1 x 0 ! noble/ & pure/ t c\ld inspire ! he>t ( man4 ,!re 0 no sacrifice too great = me to make2 !re 0 no object too de> = me to resign1 if x /ood 9 ! way ( my sacr$ call+4 ,! :ole curr5t ( my ?\ghts & plans 0 n[ *ang$4 ,x 0 h5ce=? my duty to be entirely =getful ( self1 & to devote my en]gies--my all--to ! advancem5t ( ! ,k+dom ( ,god4 ,my life 0 to be id5tifi$ ) ! ,sa9ts1--my fai? requir$ x1 & ,i 0 will+ t x %\ld be s4 ,b :at ( my belov$ ,france1 all ?is "t2 & my betro!d husb&8 ,?is reflection ar\s$ )9 me a mo/ pa9ful tra9 ( ?\ght4 ,h[ _m fond & ende>+ memories entw9$ !mselves ar\nd my he>t at t mom5t1 :5 mo/ ,i ne$$ to bani% !m = ev]6 ,) :at l+]+ love did ,i look back to ^? de> ones f :om ,i _h p>t$ b a few %ort weeks be=e1 & :om ,i might p]haps nev] see aga96 ,to return w\ld be to des]t my newly-adopt$ fri5ds & fai?--to violate ! cov5ant :i* ,i _h made at baptism to 8be ev] aft]w>ds gov]n$ by ! s]vants ( ,god40 ,no2 x 0 too late--,i c\ld n n[ return2--,i tri$ to p]suade myself t ,i did n ev5 wi% to2--9 a ^w1 affection1 & :at ,i ?\ght duty1 7 at w> toge!r 9 my he>t4 ,all my =m] ties & associations mu/ n[ be sev]$1 h[ev] t]rible ! co/ might be2 & ,i 0 b\nd n only to submit1 b ev5 to glory 9 ! sacrifice4 ,?us ,i argu$ away ! regrets :i* w\ld at times agitate my v s\l1 & cause me mu* pa9ful ?\ght4 ,! trial ( my pr(ession 9 ! new fai? came swiftly to my door4 ,my m>riage-engagem5t mu/ be brok5 (f1 ?\gh ,i knew n h[ t c\ld hon\rably & consci5ti\sly be done4 ,( myself ,i _h no wi% to draw back f any?+ t ,i _h promis$ ( my own free w2 & mu* less did ,i desire to be fai?less to my solemnly plight$ ^w4 ,i n[ fir/ realiz$ ! all-absorb+ influ5ce ( an e>ne/ religi\s fai?4 ,i 0 br\ght face to face ) ! fact t ,i c\ld n m>ry out ( ! ,mormon ,*ur*4 ,! tea*+ ( ! ,eld]s 0 aga9/ x1 & ,i saw t 9 ?is !y 7 consi/5t4 ,great z 0 ! trial1 & pa9ful z 0 ! sacrifice1 ,i resolv$ to be true to my religion4 ,h[ v e>ne/ly ! ,eld]s insi/$ ^u su* sacrifices1 may be se5 f an appeal made at a lat] date by ! 8,apo/le0 ,orson ,pratt4 ,bro!r ,orson 0 9 ,europe1 &1 speak+ au?oritatively1 he set =? ! duties ( mo!rs & daught]s 9 8,babylon10 z he graci\sly /yl$ ! re/ ( ! _w1 9 ! foll[+ t]ms1 :i* unmi/akably %[ ! purposes ( ! lead]s relative to m>riage3-- 8,_m ( y h daught]s1 "s ( :om are gr[n to womanhood2 o!rs are n[ "y4 ,w\ld1 y h !m ga!r ) y to a l& :]e virtue & peace dwell1 :]e ,god has promis$ to protect & bless ! righte\s8 ,if s1 tea* !m1 z !y love _! p>5ts1 & ! ,sa9ts1 & ! tru?1 n to ?r[ !mselves away by m>ry+ ,g5tiles2 tea* !m to keep !mselves entirely alo( f ,g5tile c\rt%ips & associations4 ,scores ( wom5 :o once 7 c\nsell$ z y are n[1 are m\rn+ 9 wret*$ness1 9 bondage to ,g5tile husb&s1 cut (f f all privilege ( ga!r+ ) _! fa!rs1 mo!rs1 bre?r51 & si/]s2 &1 9 "s in/ances1 cut (f f ev5 att5d+ ! ,sa9ts' meet+s4 ,b ?is is n all4 ,!y are rais+ up *ildr5 9 ^! l&s to p]i% ) !mselves 9 ! g5]al desolations com+ ^u ,babylon4 ,b :at is /ill m aggravat+ & he>t-r5d+1 !y are rais+ up *ildr5 n only de/9$ = temporal judgm5ts1 b :o mu/ = ev] be cut (f f ! pres5ce ( ,god & ! glory ( ! cele/ial k+dom4444 ,:at fe>ful responsibility = any "y si/] to volunt>ily take ^u h]self1 aft] all ! w>n+s %e has receiv$4 ,see to x1 !n1 p>5ts1 t y n only d n give y\r cons5t1 b actually =bid all su* m>riages4444 8,let !m m>ry accord+ to ! holy ord] ( ,god1 & beg9 to lay ! f\ndation ( a little family k+dom :i* %all no m be scatt]$ ^u ! face ( ! e>?1 b dwell 9 "o c\ntry1 keep+ _! g5ealogies f g5]ation to g5]ation1 until ea* man's h\se %all be multipli$ z ! />s ( heav540 ,^! 7 ! influ5ces :i* 7 br\ght to be> ^u my m9d at a "t :5 x 0 peculi>ly s5sitive1 & op5 to impressions f )\t4 ,:ile 9 ?is unc]ta9 /ate a little incid5t occurr$ :i*1 ?\gh 9 itself ( ! mo/ trifl+ nature1 assi/$ 9 =m+ my ultimate decision4 ,x 0 a beautiful ev5+ 9 e>ly summ]1 & my "m & si/] ask$ me to accompany !m to "o ( ! te/imony-meet+s :i* ,i h already describ$4 ,?is meet+ 0 v simil> to ! o!rs1 ) "o notable exception3--x 0 "h t ,i saw & he>d1 = ! fir/ "t 9 my own exp]i5ce1 ! 8gift ( tongues0 ex]cis$4 ,long be=e ,i _h ev5 he>d ( ,mormonism1 ,i _h frequ5tly ?\ght h[ wond]fully useful ?is gift mu/ h be5 to ! ,apo/les4 ,"o ( ! great difficulties enc\nt]$ by ! mission>y is le>n+ ! language ( ! p among :om he works & lives4 ,to be able to disp5se ) all ?is lab\r1 & to be und]/ood :]ev] he w5t1 mu/ h light5$ ! m9d ( ! holy man ( half its load2 & naturally1 :5 ,i he>d t ! ,mormons _h 8! ,gift ( ,tongues10 ,i suppos$ x 0 ! self-same p[] ( div]se spee* z t ex]cis$ by ! ,apo/les2 & ,i presume ! read] w conjecture ) me t x 0 ! same 8gift10 or1 at lea/1 "s imitation ( x4 ,h[ surpris$ ,i 0 :5 ,i fir/ discov]$ ! mean+ ( ! t]m 8speak+ 9 tongues0 among ! ,mormons1 may p]haps be imag9$ :5 ,i expla9 :at happ5$ at t te/imony-meet+4 ,aft] pray]1 & s++1 & li/5+ to sev]al v f]v5t addresses f "s ( ! eld]s1 ,bro!r ,seely _h deliv]$ a mo/ impassion$ spee*1 & _h h>dly conclud$1 :5 ,si/] ,ellis1 :o 0 sitt+ ne> me1 gave evid5ce ( be+ 9 an abnormal condition ( m9d1 :i* to me 0 pa9ful 9 ! extreme4 ,h] h&s 7 cl5*$1 & h] eyes _h t wild & sup]natural gl>e :i* is nev] se51 save 9 cases ( lunacy or int5se fev]i% excitem5t4 ,e "o wait$ brea?lessly1 li/5+ to cat* :at %e might say2--y might h he>d a p9 drop4 ,!n 9 oracul> language & ) all ! impassion$ dignity ( "o inspir$ ( heav51 %e began to speak4 ,i say 8speak10 z t t]m is g5]ally appli$ to ! utt]ances ( ! human voice2 b %e did n speak 9 ! s5se 9 :i* we always employ t ^w2 %e simply emitt$ a s]ies ( s\nds4 ,!y seem$ to me *iefly ! repetition ( ! same syllables--some?+ l a *ild repeat+1 la1 la1 la1 le1 lo2 ma1 ma1 ma1 mi1 ma2 dele1 dele1 dele1 dela--foll[$1 p]haps1 by a numb] ( s\nds /rung toge!r1 :i* c\ld n be r5d]$ 9 any %ape by ! p54 ,sometimes 9 ! ,f> ,we/1 9 lat] ye>s1 ,i h he>d old ,indian wom51 croon+ weirdly monoton\s & outl&i% ditties 9 _! native tongue4 ,^! wild dirges1 m ne>ly ?an any?+ else ,i ev] he>d1 resembl$ ! prophetic utt]ances ( ,si/] ,ellis2 save only1 t ! appe>ance ( ! latt] 0 f> too solemn to admit ( ev5 a smile at :at %e said4 ,ridicul\s z ?is appe>s :5 ,i n[ write x d[n on pap]1 & /range z ev5 !n x 0 to me1 !re 0 some?+ s comm&+1 s e>ne/1 s 8inspirational10 if ,i may be all[$ ! t]m1 9 ,si/] ,ellis's mann]1 t ,i c\ld n wond] at ! att5tion :i* ! bre?r5 & si/]s paid to ?is gift$ speak] 9 tongues4 ,i n[ "k t ^! extraord9>y displays are by no means conf9$ to ,mormonism4 ,p ( a c]ta9 temp]am5t1 excit$ to fr5zy--g5]ally by religi\s en?usiasm--h 9 all ages giv5 pa9ful illu/rations ( ?is m5tal disease2 z ! /ud5t :o rememb]s ! ,convulsionnaires ( ! middle ages1 ! ,mun/] ,anabapti/s ( ,lu!r's "t1 & ! v>i\s emotional sects ( m mod]n days1 w abundantly be> me witness4 ,b at t "t1 new 9 ! fai?1 & believ+ z ,i did t1 z ! ,eld]s said1 x 0 ! manife/ion ( ! p[] ( ,god1 z =etold by ! prophet ,joel1 ?\gh ,i secretly felt a s5se ( repugnance1 ,i tri$ to combat my bett] s5tim5ts4 ,ov]come by ! excitem5t ( ! mom5t1 ,si/] ,ellis sudd5ly paus$1 n s mu* int5tionally z f %e] inability to proce$2 & ! lead+ ,eld]s look$ r\nd f "o to ano!r to see if any "o 0 pres5t :o c\ld int]pret4 ,! gift ( int]pretation is v r>ely possess$ by ! same p]son :o has ! gift ( tongues1 & y may (t5 he> "o aft] ano!r arise & 8speak10 b !re is no "o to 8int]pret10 & ! ,sa9ts g away un$ifi$4 ,ev5 :5 an int]pret] is pres5t1 !re is no au?ority to det]m9e :e!r he gives ! prop] r5d]+ ( ! s\nds utt]$1 & ,i h ov] & ov] aga9 he>d ! mo/ ludicr\s /ories ( ! comical int]pretation plac$ by "s half-witty or half-witt$ exp\nd] ^u ^! oracles4 ,:5 ,bro!r ,brigham--!n a man :o 0 l[ly 9 8 own eyes--fir/ met ! prophet ,joseph ,smi?1 at ,kirtl&1 ,ohio1 !re 0 a sc5e some:at l ! "o ,i h describ$2 & ! future lead] ( 8?is p10 z he calls ! ,sa9ts1 himself spake ) tongues & utt]$ wond]ful ?+s4 ,b ev5 suppos+ 8 words at t "t to h be5 ( ! wise/1 we all "k f ! example ( ,balaam's reprov]1 t x does n require a v high ord] ( intellect to speak 9 unaccu/om$ language--& t1 too1 to "s purpose4 ,9 lat] days ! ex]cise ( ?is gift has be5 disc\rag$ by ! ,eld]s1 & especially by ,brigham ,"y4 ,go+ "o day1 "s ye>s aft]1 to ! ,lion-,h\se to see a c]ta9 memb] ( ! ,prophet's little family conc]n+ a subject :i* lay v ne> to my he>t at t "t1 we pray$ toge!r e>ne/ly & anxi\sly2 :5 sudd5ly ! lady's face 0 light$ up ) a sup]natural gl[1 & plac+ h] h& on my head %e1 sibyl-l1 p\r$ =? a flood ( eloqu5ce :i*--al?\gh ,i did n und]/& a s+le ^w t 0 utt]$--,i confess s5t ?r\gh me a magnetic ?rill z if ,i _h be5 li/5+ to an inspir$ se]ess4 ,ano!r ( ,brigham's wives :o 0 pres5t int]pret$ ! words ( bless+ to me1 b add$3 8,d n speak ( ?is1 ,si/] ,/5h\se1 = ,bro!r ,"y does n l to he> ( ^! ?+s40 ,?us we see t "o inspir$ prophet 9 ! pres5ce ( ano!r 8prophet1 se]1 & revelator10 c\ld himself take "p at "o "t 9 a miracul\s manife/ation1 :i* 9 lat] ye>s he 8w\ld n l to he> (10 if x 0 only "o ( 8 _m wives :o enact$ ! prophet's rle4 ,b my meet+6 ,i h w&]$ f> away f t4 ,let me proce$4 ,aft] m te/imony1 m 8speak+10 & mu* en?usiasm1 ! ,sa9ts sep>at$4 ,my si/] 0 talk+ ) a "y-lady fri5d1 & regrett+ t no "o pres5t _h be5 able to int]pret2 & ,i /ood by1 b did n jo9 9 ! conv]sation4 ,sudd5ly ! "y lady turn$ to me & said3 8,si/] ,fanny1 d y n see 9 all ?is1 m & m1 ! conv9c+ p[] ( ,god80 ,r hesitat+ly ,i repli$1 8,yes1 ,i ?9k ,i d40 8,?9k6 si/]80 said %e1 ) w>m?4 8,oh1 yes1 ,i see by y\r looks t y are only half conv9c$2 y\r fai? is n /rong en\gh yet2 b rememb]1 :atsoev] is ( d\bt is s960 8,b10 ,i answ]$1 8,i d n see cle>ly :at good we receive f ^! manife/ations :5 no "o c und]/& !m40 8,t is y\r want ( fai?--no?+ else2 y h ! evid5ce ( ! tru? be=e y1 & y see h[ ^! miracul\s p[]s build up ! belief ( ,god's p2 & yet y d\bt4 ,to d\bt is s93 :atsoev] is n ( fai? is s94 ,y mu/ pray & /rive1 si/]1 to be /r5g!n$ aga9/ temptation40 ,all ?is 0 n v logical1 & x c]ta9ly did n help to dispel my d\bts4 ,b twice 9 ! c\rse ( a few %ort s5t5ces1 %e _h us$ a c]ta9 expression :i*1 ?\gh trifl+ 9 itself1 0 recall$ to my m9d v =cibly be=e _m days _h pass$4 ,?is 0 my fir/ exp]i5ce ( speak+ 9 tongues4 ,b !re 7 e-day matt]s ( mu* m real importance to me ?an ^? /range speculations :i* _h rec5tly employ$ s mu* ( my "t & att5tion4 ,x 0 n[ necess>y t ,i %\ld ei!r return to ,france & fulfil my engagem5t ) ,monsieur ,d---- or else resolve1 once & = ev]1 to r5\nce all ^? ties :i* _h become s de> to me4 ,mean:ile1 religi\s !ories 7 n ! only influ5ces br\ght to be> ^u my m9d4 ,:ile day by day ,i began to be /ill m d\btful :e!r x w\ld n aft] all be s9ful 9 ,god's sight = me to leave my fri5ds 9 ! new fai? & g back to ,france & my betro!d1 :o ,i knew nei!r 0 nor ev] c\ld become a ,sa9t1 o!r ?\ghts began to intrude !mselves1 & to %ake my det]m9ation4 ,eld] ,/5h\se's visits to my fa!r's h\se began to be m frequ5t ?an ev]1 b z he desir$ to become famili> ) ! ,fr5* language1 & w\ld br+ 8 ,fr5* gramm> ) him 8to get a lesson10 z he said1 no p>ticul> notice 0 tak5 ( 8 frequ5t com+4 ,he 0 always welcom$ ) pleasure by ! :ole family1 &1 ( c\rse1 by myself1 :o 0 8 tea*]4 ,aft] a:ile he took s mu* delight 9 8 /udies t he c\ld n endure to let an ev5+ pass )\t a lesson2 & someh[ or o!r1 ,i mu/ confess1 x 0 ! fir/ "t s9ce ,i _h be5 a tea*] t ,i felt su* a peculi> pleasure 9 imp>t+ in/ruction4 ,i suppose x 0 ! int]e/ :i* all tea*]s exp]i5ce :5 _! pupils are /udi\sly incl9$4 ,my pupil 0 p>ticul>ly /udi\s--s mu* s t he told my fa!r & "m t he c\ld n /udy v well 9 ! p>l\r :]e e "o 0 conv]s+1 & begg$ ! privilege ( hav+ ! fold+ doors ?r[n p>tly op51 t we might sit 9 ! back p>l\r & be m quiet4 ,?is 0 grant$4 ,b aft] a few ev5+s my pupil took a notion to p>tly close ! fold+ doors aft] him1 &1 z "m's eyes are ev] wat*ful1 "o ( my si/]s 0 s5t 9 ) h] sew+ to keep u company4 ,b my pupil by ?is "t _h made rapid progress 9 ! ,fr5* language1 & :ile my si/] 0 innoc5tly sew+1 he 0 repeat+ 8 lesson to me2 & x 0 n our fault if 9 ^? ,fr5* phrase-books !re 7 passages expressive ( love & devotion4 ,unconsci\sly to u bo?1 he =m$ ! habit ( repeat+ ^? phrases to me at all times1 & ,i =m$ ! equally bad habit ( blu%+ :5ev] he made use ( !m4 ,?is my si/] obs]v$1 & communicat$ ! fact to my "m1 :o imm$iately said t we _h bett] discont9ue our ,fr5* = a:ile1 z x 0 monopoliz+ too mu* ( our "t1 & keep+ bo? ( u f att5d+ to o!r & m important duties4 ,b ! discont9uation ( ! ,fr5* lessons did n put an end to ! visits ( ,eld] ,/5h\se4 ,he 0 a p]sev]+ "y man2 b ! secret ( ! great int]e/ tak5 9 ! ,fr5* lessons 0 soon discov]$4 ,!n x 0 t argum5ts ( all k9ds1 & /rong reasons1 7 br\ght =w>d to %ake my purpose ( return+ to ,france4 ,i 0 89 d\bt20 :5 "o day1 discuss+ ! po9t1 ,eld] ,/5h\se made use ( ! v same expression :i* _h fall5 f ! si/]'s lips at ! te/imony-meet+--8,:atsoev] is n ( fai? is s940 ,my m9d unsettl$1 ) all ! /r5g? ( argum5t & religion on ! "o side1 & on ! o!r no "o to plead = reason & = my return to ,france1 :o c wond] t ,i--at be/ only a weak & inexp]i5c$ girl--li/5$ to ! entreaties ( my fri5ds1 & resolv$ to /ay4 ,9 ! c\rse ( a few mon?s ,i 0 engag$ to be m>ri$ to ,eld] ,/5h\se4 ,x may1 p]haps1 seem /range t ,i c\ld s soon =get ! pa/1 ) all its pleasant memories & r5\nc+ my betro!d husb&1 accept ! att5tions ( ano!r2 b x %\ld be rememb]$ t ,i n[ firmly believ$ x 0 my duty--a duty :i* ,i d>$ n neglect--to blot out = ev] all pa/ associations1 h[ev] de> to my he>t !y might be4 ,besides :i*1 ,i1 9 common ) all ar\nd me1 _h le>n$ to look ^u ,eld] ,/5h\se z almo/ an angel1 on acc\nt ( :at he _h endur$ = ! gospel's sake2 & ,i ?\ght t any girl might consid] h]self hon\r$ by an (f] ( m>riage f a man 9 8 position 9 ! ,*ur*4 ,my m>riage 9 ,france w\ld1 ,i fe>$1 h be5 b d\btful happ9ess 9 ?is _w1 & c]ta9 ru9 9 ! next2 b heav5 itself w\ld bless my union ) "o ( its own orda9$ & tri$ s]vants4 ,?us x came to pass t on ! #f? ( ,febru>y1 #ahej--;eight mon?s aft] my arrival 9 ,s\?ampton--,i 0 m>ri$ to ! "y ,mormon mission>y1 ,eld] ,/5h\se4 ,i ent]$ ^u my new sph]e z a mission>y's wife1 feel+ t !re 7 no ob/acles s great t ,i c\ld n ov]come !m = ! gospel's sake4 ,h[ little c\ld ,i !n imag9e ! life t 0 be=e me6 ,i wrote to my fri5ds 9 ,france4 ,i told !m frankly all4 ,9 return !y wrote to me--especially ,monsieur ,d----1 entreat+ me to alt] my det]m9ation4 ,k9d1 & v g5tle1 7 ^? lett]s4 ,de>1 v de>1 has be5 ! memory ( !m1 & ( _! writ]s1 9 lat] days4 ,b at ! "t ,i felt t ! influ5ce :i* !y /ill reta9$ ov] me 0 9 itself a s94 ,,*apt] ,v4 ,,! ,,fir/ ,,:isp]+s ,,( ,,polygamy4 ,ab\t ?ree mon?s aft] our m>riage x 0 rum\r$ t f\r ( ! ,twelve ,apo/les _h be5 appo9t$ to =eign missions1 & 7 !n on _! way to ,engl&4 ,! ,sa9ts 9 ,brita9 _h be5 = sev]al ye>s )\t any mission>ies direct f ! body ( ! *ur*1 & ! ann\ncem5t ( ?is =eign mission 0 hail$ ) joy4 ,i confess to exp]i5c+ mu* pleasure at ! ?\ght ( becom+ acqua9t$ ) a liv+ ,apo/le4 ,h[ (t5 9 my girlhood ,i _h wi%$ t ,i _h liv$ :5 m5 inspir$ ( ,god walk$ ! e>?4 ,:at a joy1 ,i ?\ght1 x w\ld h be5 to h li/5$ to ! wisdom ( su* tea*]s4 ,n[ ! "t 0 ne> :5 ,i %\ld realize all ! happ9ess ( my day-dreams--:5 ,i %\ld really h ! privilege ( conv]s+ ) ^? *os5 m5 ( ,god4 ,! invitation1 !re=e1 to meet ! ,conf]5ce 9 ,london on ! #a/ ( ,june1 0 v welcome intellig5ce4 ,we w5t to ! ,london ,conf]5ce--my husb& & ,i2 & !re = ! fir/ "t ,i met ) ,apo/les1 :o 7 also ,prophets1 & ,prie/s1 & ,high-prie/s1 & ,tea*]s1 & ,eld]s1 & ,deacons--all assembl$ 9 solemn convocation4 ,! f\r ,apo/les :om ,i met at t "t 7 ,john ,taylor1 ,lor5zo ,sn[1 ,era/us ,sn[1 & ,frankl9 ,d4 ,ri*>ds--pleasant & agreeable m51 & )al v fair specim5s ( ,mormon mission>ies1 :o _h f\nd fav\r 9 ! eyes ( ,brigham ,"y & ( ! lead]s 9 ,zion1 & :o _h be5 promot$ accord+ly4 ,!y liv$ com=tably1 wore ! f9e/ broadclo?1 fa%ionably cut1 & 7 n av]se to gold *a9s1 & *>ms1 & signet-r+s1 & o!r p]sonal adornm5ts4 ,!y put on no p>ticul> airs1 7 z polite & att5tive to ladies z g5tlem5 always are1 & c\ld g to a !atre or any o!r place ( amusem5t )\t hesitation4 ,i aft]w>ds discov]$ t 9 "o p>ticul>1 at lea/1 if n 9 all1 !y resembl$ ! e>ly ,apo/les1 = !y too c\ld1 l ,/4 ,paul1 8lead ab\t a si/]0 )\t any compunctions ( consci5ce4 ,! ,s\?ampton ,sa9ts _h hi!rto =m$ only a bran* ( ! ,london ,conf]5ce1 b did n =m a conf]5ce ( _! own4 ,x 0 n[ resolv$ t s9ce s l>ge a numb] _h rec5tly be5 baptiz$ 9 ,hamp%ire1 ! sev]al bran*es ( ! *ur* !re %\ld be organiz$ into a special conf]5ce at ,s\?ampton1 ) ,eld] ,/5h\se z its presid5t2 & ! ,sunday foll[+ 0 appo9t$ = t purpose1 :5 ! ,apo/le ,sn[1 en r\te to ,italy--to :i* c\ntry he _h j be5 appo9t$ mission>y--w\ld hon\r ! occasion ) 8 pres5ce4 ,z we return$1 "s g5tlem5 9 ! same railway c>riage1 to :ile away ! "t1 ,i suppose1 ent]$ into a religi\s discussion4 ,:at ! subject 0 ,i d n n[ rememb]2 b ,i c recollect t a good deal 0 said z to :i* ( all ! num]\s ,*ri/ian sects really possess$ ,div9e au?ority4 ,eld] ,/5h\se took an active "p 9 ! argum5t1 & be+1 l all ! ,mormon ,mission>ies at t "t1 v well po/$ 9 ,scriptural discussions1 he attract$ consid]able att5tion1 & 0 mu* complim5t$ by sev]al p]sons pres5t4 ,! ,apo/le ,lor5zo ,sn[ 0 sil5t all ! "t1 b he took note ( all t pass$4 ,eld] ,/5h\se 0 a man ( great zeal & untir+ en]gy--qualities 9 :i* p]haps ,bro!r ,sn[ felt himself a little defici5t2 & he 0 go+ on a mission :i* requir$ unflagg+ devotion & p]sev]ance4 ,we _h n be5 an h\r at home1 be=e he told my husb& t ! ,"l _h ?rice reveal$ to him t he %\ld accompany him to ,italy6 ,h[ (t5--ev5 :ile ,i /ill clung to ,mormonism--did x appe> /range to me t ! 8revelations0 ( di/+ui%$ ,sa9ts %\ld s frequ5tly co9cide ) _! own p]sonal wi%es1 & come at su* conv5i5t times4 ,i _h laid aside my travell+-dress1 & 0 ha/5+ to provide "s refre%m5t = ! ,apo/le1 :5 my husb& came & told me ( ! revelation :i* _h be5 s opportunely receiv$4 ,i 0 at t "t z mu* an en?usia/ z ,eld] ,/5h\se himself1 & ,i felt hon\r$ t my husb& %\ld be ! fir/ ,engli% eld] appo9t$ to a =eign mission4 ,"h 0 ! fulfilm5t ( my ambition1 t we %\ld be 9 ! =efront ( ! battle1 & %\ld obta9 di/9ction z zeal\s s]vants ( ,god4 ,b at :at a co/ 0 ?is ambition pur*as$6 ,my poor1 weak he>t sick5$ at ! ?\ght--,i _h be5 b f\r mon?s m>ri$4 ,:5 ! ,apo/le ask$ me if ,i 7 will+ t ,eld] ,/5h\se %\ld g to ,italy1 ,i answ]$ 8,yes10 ?\gh ,i felt z if my he>t w\ld break4 ,i rememb]$ t 9 my fir/ transport ( joy & gratitude aft] be+ baptiz$1 ,i _h made a cov5ant ) ! ,"l t ,i w\ld d any?+ :i* ,he might require ( me2 & ,i d>$ n rebel1 or break t v[4 ,oh1 ! agony t fell ^u my "y he>t6 ,x seem$ t ! weight ( a m\nta9 re/$ ^u x :5 ,i 0 told t my husb& might be five ye>s abs5t4 ,he _h already be5 five ye>s a travell+ eld] )\t a home1 tru/+ = daily bread to ! volunt>y k9dness ( ! ,sa9ts4 ,he _h lab\r$ fai?fully1 & look$ =w>d to ! day :5 8 8,conf]5ce0 %\ld be e/abli%$1 & he c\ld c\nt ^u an improvem5t 9 8 temporal position1 & an e>ly call to emigrate to ,zion4 ,9 ! few mon?s t ,i _h be5 8 wife1 x 0 only natural t ,i %\ld %>e 8 hopes2 b j at ! mom5t :5 !y 7 ab\t to be realiz$1 hopes & expectations 7 scatt]$ to ! w9ds4 ,on ! foll[+ day ! ,sa9ts assembl$1 ! ,s\?ampton ,conf]5ce 0 organiz$1 & ,eld] ,/5h\se elect$ its presid5t4 ,t5 m9utes lat] he 0 publicly appo9t$ by ! ,apo/le on a mission to ,italy4 ,dur+ ! few days :i* int]v5$ betwe5 ! "t :5 ,eld] ,/5h\se receiv$ 8 appo9tm5t1 to ! h\r ( 8 dep>ture1 ,i enjoy$ b little ( 8 society4 ,arrang+ ! affairs ( ! ,conf]5ce :i* he 0 leav+1 & prep>ation = 8 mission1 fully occupi$ 8 att5tion4 ,i d n ?9k we ei!r ( u utt]$ a ^w1 :5 alone toge!r1 respect+ ! future t 0 be=e u4 ,x 0 probably bett] t we did n4 ,!re are mom5ts ( our life :5 sil5ce is bett] ?an spee*2 & x is saf] to tru/ 9 ! m]cy ( ,god ?an to try to %ape our own de/9y4 ,! ,sa9ts are not$ = ! frat]nal _s :i* exi/s among !m4 ,!re are1 ( c\rse1 exceptions2 b1 z a rule1 e ,mormon is will+ to help 8 bro!r 9 ! fai?1 act+ ^u ! pr9ciple 8,"o is y\r ,ma/]1 ev5 ,*ri/3 & all ye are bre?r540 ,! ,s\?ampton ,sa9ts 7 no exception to ?is rule1 b %[$ _! k9dness bo? to my husb& & myself 9 a ?\s& little ways4 ,i h spok5 ( my unhapp9ess dur+ t week ( prep>ation1 b ,i mu/ n =get t !re 7 gleams ( hope 9 ! d>kness4 ,"o occasion ,i %all nev] =get--a picnic :i* our fri5ds held z a k9d ( val$ictory fea/ 9 hon\r ( ! mission>ies--( ,eld] ,/5h\se 9 p>ticul>4 ,"r up ! ,s\?ampton riv]1 n f> f ,netley ,abbey1 is a pleasant & picturesque spot1 nam$ ,bitt]n1 :i* ,i ne$ n too p>ticul>ly describe1 al?\gh ! memory ( its beauty recalls recollections ( m+l$ sadness & pleasure to my m9d4 ,!re my p>5ts n[ liv$1 & ?i!r x 0 propos$ our fri5ds %\ld g4 ,!y c\ld obta9 all !y ne$$ = ! picnic at my fa!r's h\se1 & we c\ld take our good ?+s into ! woods1 & enjoy ourselves z we pleas$4 ,we _h a v happy "t2 = ! mom5t1 ev5 ,i =got ! cl\d t 0 hang+ ov] me2 & our de> fri5ds n only enjoy$ !mselves to ! utmo/1 b seem$ b5t ^u mak+ ! "t pass pleasantly to e "o else4 ,i _h be5 talk+ to ,si/] ,:ite ab\t ! rec5t do+s ( ! ,sa9ts1 ! e/abli%m5t ( ! ,conf]5ce & ! s5d+ away ( ,eld] ,/5h\se4 ,i want$ ,si/] ,:ite1 z 9 fact ,i want$ e "o else1 to ?9k t ,i 0 p]fectly happy 9 ! sep>ation1 & t ,i c\nt$ my feel+s z a wife z no?+ :5 plac$ 9 ! balance aga9/ my duty z a mission>y2 & ,i tri$ to impress ^u h] h[ pr\d ,i 0 t my husb& %\ld be ! fir/ ,engli% ,eld] entru/$ ) a =eign mission4 ,we talk$ toge!r a great deal4 ,%e 0 /ill q a "y woman1 ?\gh m>ri$1 & ! "m ( f\r d>l+ little *ildr52 b probably %e _h a bett] exp]i5ce ?an ,i _h1 & c\ld see ?r\gh my attempts to /ifle my natural feel+s1 :ile at ! same "t %e sympa?iz$ ) me4 ,%e spoke v k9dly to me2 & z we talk$1 we w&]$ inadv]t5tly away f ! re/ ( ! p>ty4 ,sudd5ly %e ?\ght ( h] little boy1 &1 "m-l1 ?9k+ he might be 9 dang]1 ran (f 9 se>* ( him1 promis+ to come back imm$iately4 ,i sat d[n ^u ! grass to await h] return4 ,i 0 some:at excit$ by ! conv]sation :i* _h pass$ betwe5 u2 b z ,i sat mus+ my agitation began to cool d[n1 & ,i 0 soon lo/ 9 ?\ght1 & did n notice t ,i 0 n alone4 ,i did n he> ! light foot/eps ne> me1 & did n see a little fairy fri5d1 z ,i call$ h]1 pass betwe5 me & ! sun4 ,b a t9y h& 0 laid g5tly on my %\ld]1 & look+ up ,i saw ! lov+ eyes ( ,m>y ,burton look+ /raight d[n into m9e4 8,:]e h y be51 de>80 ,i ask$4 8,:y1 ,i h h>dly se5 y all ! day40 8,b ,i knew y 7 "h10 %e said1 8& ,i ?\ght y 7 alone2 & ,i want$ to see y1 & talk ) y40 8,come & sit d[n beside me1 ,m>y10 ,i said1 8& let u h a little *at toge!r40 ,!n ,i drew h] g5tly t[>ds me1 & %e sat d[n by my side4 ,= a few mom5ts we said no?+1 b ,i 0 wat*+ h]1 & wait+ to he> :at %e w\ld say4 ,%e seem$ su* a pretty1 su* a sweet & g5tle girl--m l "o ( ^? little birds ( glori\s plumage & ?rill+ song t we see glitt]+ among ! dew-drops & ! danc+ leaves1 ?an a *ild ( e>?4 ,& ,i piti$ h] = h] beauty1 = su* beauty is a sn>e2 & ,i wond]$ :e!r h] innoc5t s\l 0 z fair & glori\s be=e ,god z h] face 0 sweet to me2 & ,i ask$ :e!r1 9 ye>s to come1 :5 ! glory ( h] *ildi% radiance _h pass$ away1 ! brightness ( a s\l pure & s]5e w\ld l5d a new beauty to h] features--! beauty1 n ( *ildi% innoc5ce1 b ( a noble womanhood4 ,i took h] h& 9 m9e1 & ask$ h] "s trifl+ "q2 b %e did n answ]4 ,sudd5ly %e look$ up full into my face1 & said1 8,si/] ,/5h\se2 ,i'm v1 v sorry = y40 8,sorry = me1 de>80 ,i said4 8,:y %\ld y be sorry8 ,i am n sad40 8,y %\ldn't say s10 %e repli$2 8y "k 9 y\r he>t y are sad1 al?\gh y don't say s4 ,x's a f9e ?+1 no d\bt1 = ,eld] ,/5h\se to g away1 ?\gh = my "p ,i'd r /op at home if ,i lov$ any "o !re2 & at any rate1 y mu/ feel sorry t he is go+ away s f>1 if y love him40 8,b ,m>y10 ,i said1 8y "k x is 8 duty to g2 & he has be5 call$ to x by ! ,apo/le1 & x is a great hon\r40 8,oh yes1 ,i "k t10 %e repli$1 8,i "k t40 ,!n we relaps$ into sil5ce = "s few mom5ts4 ,pres5tly draw+ ne>] to me1 %e said aga91 q sudd5ly1 8,si/] ,/5h\se1 d y "k ! mean+ ( ! ^w ,polygamy80 8,:y1 :at a funny "q to ask me1 *ild60 ,i exclaim$4 8,*ild1 y call me1 ,si/] ,/5h\se2 b ,i'm n a *ild--at lea/ n q a *ild2 ,i %all be fifte5 next bir?day40 8,well1 de>10 ,i said1 8,i did n mean to (f5d y2 & ,i call y #8*ild' because ,i love y2 b y ask$ me su* a /range "q1 & us$ su* a /range ^w40 ,?is 0 q true1 = at t "t ! ^w ,polygamy 0 z seldom us$ z ! ^w 8poly&ry10 or any o!r ^w signify+ a /ate ( ?+s ) :i* we h no?+ to d4 8,i'm n (f5d$10 %e said2 8only p h a way ( treat+ me z if ,i 7 only su* a v little girl3 ,i suppose ,i look s40 ,%e c]ta9ly did look s1 & ,i suppose %e read my ?\ghts4 ,womanhood1 by-&-by1 br\ght to h] m ( reality1 bo? 9 face & figure1 z well z 9 ! t]rible facts ( life2 b at t "t ! t]m 8little fairy10 :i* ,i h s (t5 us$ respect+ h]1 seem$ ! mo/ appropriate4 ,! mean+ ( t t]rible ^w ,polygamy %e und]/ood1 9 lat] ye>s1 fully z well z ,i did4 8,well1 de>10 ,i said1 8:y did y ask me t /range "q80 8,y mu/ promise n to be angry ) me if ,i tell y10 %e answ]$2 8& yet ,i ?9k y ought to "k40 ,i readily promis$--:at c\ld ,i h refus$ h]8--& %e said1-- 8,! o!r day two ( ! si/]s 7 at our h\se--,i may n tell y _! names = fe> ( mak+ mis*ief--& !y 7 talk+ toge!r betwe5 !mselves1 & did n notice t ,i 0 pres5t--or else !y didn't c>e4 ,& ,i he>d "o ( !m tell ! o!r1 t %e _h he>d1 secretly1 t 9 ,zion m5 7 all[$ to h _m wives2 & %e us$ t ^w ,polygamy v (t51 & said t 0 :at ! p ( ! _w call$ x40 8,well1 ,m>y de>10 ,i repli$1 8t is no great secret4 ,we h all he>d t said be=e4 ,wick$ p :o hate ! ,gospel say t1 & a great deal m1 9 ord] to br+ sc&al ^u ! ,*ur*2 b ( c\rse x isn't true40 8,ah1 b ,i hav5't told y all10 %e said4 8,! si/]s _h a long talk ab\t x1 & !y expla9$ :om !y he>d x f1 & x 0 f no "o outside ! ,*ur*4 ,& !n "o ( !m said t ,eld] ,/5h\se _h he>d all ab\t x1 & knew x 0 true1 only ( c\rse he did n talk ab\t su* ?+s yet2 b t ! "t w\ld come :5 ev]yone w\ld ackn[l$ge x1 & all ! ,sa9ts w\ld h _m wives4 ,i 0 fright5$ :5 ,i he>d ?is1 & v angry--= ,i ?\ght ( y--& ,i spoke to h]1 & said x 0 all untrue1 & ,i'd ask ,eld] ,/5h\se4 ,& !y scold$ me v mu* = say+ s1 & said x 0 v wick$ = a *ild to li/52 & t 0 :y ,i did n l y to call me #8*ild4'0 8,well1 d>l+10 ,i said1 8,i'll n (f5d y any m 9 t way2 & x 0 v good ( y to tell me any?+ y ?\ght ,i ought to "k40 ,!n ,i kiss$ h]1 & cont9u$1 8,b1 aft] all1 ,i don't ?9k x's ( any consequ5ce4 ,x's ! old sc&al1 j z 9 ! e>ly days !y said wick$ ?+s ( ,*ri/ & ,8 apo/les4 ,eld] ,/5h\se kn[s all t p say1 b he has told me aga9 & aga9 t !re is n a ^w ( tru? 9 x2 & ,i believe him40 8,y ?9k s1 ,si/] ,/5h\se10 %e repli$1 8& ,i suppose ,i ought to ?9k s too2 b if x's all false h[ did p fir/ beg9 to ?9k ( x8 ,p don't say t ! ,mormons are murd]]s or ?ieves1 because we h giv5 !m no reason to ?9k s4 ,!n :y %\ld !y ?9k ( su* an unhe>d-( ?+ z ,polygamy--surely !re mu/ h be5 "s reason4 ,don't y ?9k s80 8,no1 de>10 ,i answ]$1 8,eld] ,/5h\se says t "s v wick$ m5 h sometimes jo9$ ! ,*ur*1 & h done all mann] ( %ock+ ?+s1 s t !y _h to be cut (f2 & !n !y w5t ab\t try+ to make o!r p believe t ! ,mormons 7 z wick$ z !y 74 ,!re 0 ,john ,c4 ,b5nett1 :o liv$ a frightful life at ,nauvoo1 & !n tri$ to make out t ,joseph ,smi? 0 z bad z he 04 ,& ,m>%1 ! presid5t ( ! twelve apo/les1 & ,orson ,hyde1 :5 !y apo/atiz$ n only said bad ?+s ( ,joseph1 b took affidavit1 & swore solemnly be=e ! magi/rates1 t ! prophet _h be5 guilty ( ! mo/ fe>ful crimes40 ,i kiss$ h] aga92 & %e said1 8,well1 p]haps y are "r20 b ,i c\ld see t 9 h] he>t %e 0 n conv9c$4 ,!n we talk$ ( ourselves & all t int]e/$ u1 & %e told me all h] *ildi% hopes & ambitions2 & to me--"y z ,i 0 myself--x 0 pleasant to li/5 to h] innoc5t prattle4 ,%e promis$ to come & see me :5 ,eld] ,/5h\se _h gone1 & ,i %\ld be left alone2 & :5 we got back to ! re/ ( ! p>ty we 7 z firm fri5ds z if we _h kn[n ea* o!r a lifetime4 ,at midnight1 ,saturday1 ,june #ae?1 #ahej1 ! /eam] left ,s\?ampton = ,havre-de-,grace1 be>+ on bo>d ! fir/ two ,mormon mission>ies to ,italy2 "o ( !m 0 my husb&4 ,! ,sa9ts _h call$ 9 ! ev5+ to bid ,eld] ,/5h\se good-bye2 & z he 01 ( c\rse1 to travel 8)\t purse or scrip10 !y vi$ ) ea* o!r 9 %[+ _! appreciation ( 8 position & 8 devotion to ! fai?4 ,! poore/ among !m w\ld n be d5i$ ! privilege ( contribut+ _! mites to aid 9 ! conv]sion ( ! ,italians2 & none ( ! bre?r5 felt t !y c\ld %[ too mu* k9dness to ! dep>t+ mission>y4 ,j 9 ?is way h all ! =eign missions ( ! ,mormon ,*ur* be5 project$ & su/a9$2 ! elem5ts ( success 7 always pres5t--devotion & self-abnegation on ! "p ( ! mission>ies1 & an e>ne/1 self-sacrific+ disposition on ! "p ( ! p1 comm&+ respect1 h[ev] errone\s or fooli% ! f\ndation ( _! fai?4 ,9 ! bu/le ( dep>ture1 ,mr4 ,/5h\se seem$ nev] to h ?\ght ab\t himself1 & c]ta9ly he made no prep>ation = me4 ,i _h full confid5ce 9 him1 h[ev]1 & lov$ him devot$ly1 & knew t my love 0 return$4 ,b m5 :o look = miracles1 & c\nt ^u special provid5ces = daily bread1 are n g5]ally v prud5t or f>-see+ 9 _! dome/ic arrangem5ts4 ,eld] ,/5h\se _h be5 told t 8! ,"l w\ld provide10 & x !re=e seem$ to him sup]flu\s t he %\ld int]f]e2 x w\ld h be5 a lack ( fai? to h %[n too mu* int]e/ 9 :at might become ( me4 ,he left me ) only #al4 ,i n[ realiz$ ! lonel9ess ( my position2 !re 0 no e>?ly fri5d to :om ,i c\ld turn = sympa?y at a "t l ?is4 ,be=e my ,heav5ly ,fa!r alone ,i c\ld p\r out ! bitt]ness ( my s\l & all my griefs1 & 9 ,8 pres5ce weep & pray4 ,,*apt] ,,vi4 ,,my ,,husb&',s ,,mission--,i ,,am ,,left ,,alone4 ,:5 ! ,apo/le ,sn[ call$ ^u ,mr4 ,/5h\se to g to ,italy1 ! ,sa9ts will+ly accept$ ! responsibility ( provid+ = me dur+ 8 abs5ce4 ,!y ?\ght x 0 m an hon\r ?an a burd5 to h ?is *>ge committ$ to !m2 b x 0 v humiliat+ to me to be plac$ 9 su* a position1 h[ev] anxi\s !y might be to assi/ me & to s]ve ! g5]al cause4 ,to face opposition1 or to give my all = my religion1 ,i 0 will+ inde$2 b to dep5d ^u o!rs = my daily bread 0 utt]ly repugnant to my feel+s1 al?\gh1 ( c\rse1 if ! ,*ur* s5t away my husb&1 ^: prop] place & duty x 0 to support 8 family1 x 0 only "r t ! memb]s ( t ,*ur* %\ld und]take ! responsibility4 ,b !n1 & at _m o!r times dur+ my life1 ,i h le>n$ ! tru? ( ,*ri/'s precept1 8,x is m bless$ to give ?an to receive40 ,! ,am]ican ,apo/le 0 n )\t worldly wisdom :5 he propos$ t an unm>ri$ man %\ld be appo9t$ to preside ov] ! ,s\?ampton ,conf]5ce1 z 8 wants w\ld be few4 ,b ,mr4 ,/5h\se _h be5 solicit$ by a fri5d1 :o _h a wife & *ildr51 to secure 8 appo9tm5t2 & ) ready confid5ce 9 t fri5d1 he ov]look$ 8 own int]e/s & my welf>e1 & ,i 0 left to pass ?r\gh trials & privations :i* ,i c nev] =get4 ,! ,sa9ts 7 v k9d1 & took pleasure 9 do+ all !y c\ld = me2 b ! mi/ake :i* my husb& committ$ 9 leav+ 8 fri5d to succe$ him z presid5t ( ! ,conf]5ce 0 soon app>5t4 ,! 8fri5d0 ?\ght ( 8 own family fir/1 & ! family requir$ all t ! ,sa9ts c\ld reasonably be expect$ to contribute2 & ev5 !n !y _h n en\gh4 ,i !re=e receiv$ only su* little sums z c\ld be )held f !m2 & to make ! matt] worse1 ^? :o _h any prop]ty or e/ate 7 c\nsell$ to sell all1 & 8ga!r to ,zion40 ,! m weal?y ,sa9ts 7 soon gone2 & ! curr5t exp5ses ( ! *ur* fell heavily ^u ^? :o 7 h>dly able to support _! own families4 ,!y tri$ to s5d me some?+ e week1 & ,i h no d\bt !y did s5d me all t !y c\ld4 ,:5 _! contributions rea*$ f\r or five %ill+s 7ab\t #a7 ,i ?\ght myself =tunate2 m (t5 ,i did n receive ! value ( fifty c5ts 9 ! :ole week1 at times less1 & sometimes no?+ at all4 ,t unfail+ com=t to respectable ,engli% pov]ty1 a cup ( tea1 0 my greate/ luxury1 b at times = weeks toge!r ,i _h n ev5 t2 ,i _h no?+ b bread2 b ,i nev] compla9$4 ,:5ev] x 0 possible ,i conceal$ my true situation f e "o1 & 9 my almo/ daily lett]s to my husb& n a %ad[ ( a h9t 0 ev] dropp$ relative to my own privations4 ,i want$ him to be successful 9 8 mission1 & ,i fe>$ t 8 en]gy w\ld des]t him if he knew ( my difficulties4 ,i 0 9 extreme pov]ty1 c]ta9ly1 b = myself ,i 0 n 9 tr\ble4 ,god w\ld provide = me1 ,i felt2 & x 0 glori\s to suff] 9 a sacr$ cause4 ,b d>k] days1 days ( sev]] trial1 7 creep+ sl[ly ne> me4 ,up to ?is "t ,i _h wor%ipp$ ,god & lov$ my husb& ) a p]fect he>t4 ,n[ ! d>k %ad[ ( an accurs$ ?+ 0 loom+ 9 ! di/ance1 & approa*+ surely if sl[ly4 ,9 "s way an idea _h got abroad t ! ,mormons 7 some:at uns\nd respect+ ! m>riage "q4 ,/ill ! eld]s /\tly d5i$ ! *>ge1 & ! m !y 7 accus$ ! m /r5u\s became _! d5ials4 ,at a public discussion at ,b\logne-sur-m]1 9 ,france1 ! ,apo/le ,john ,taylor1 9 reply to ! accusations ( ,polygamy :i* 7 br\ght aga9/ him1 said1-- 8,we are accus$ "h ( actions ! mo/ indelicate & disgu/+1 su* z none b a corrupt & deprav$ he>t c\ld h conceiv$4 ,^! ?+s are too outrage\s to admit ( belief4444 ,i %all cont5t myself ) quot+ our views ( *a/ity & m>riage f a "w publi%$ by u1 conta9+ "s ( our articles ( fai?--,doctr9e & ,cov5ants40 ,he !n proce$$ to quote f ! 8,book ( ,doctr9e & ,cov5ants0 su* passages z ! foll[+3-- 8,m>riage is orda9$ by ,god unto man2 :]e=e x is lawful t he %\ld h "o wife1 & !y twa9 %\ld be "o fle%0 7p4 #bah74 ,he quot$ _m o!r ?+s also1 among :i* might be enum]at$ ! foll[+3-- 8,?\ %alt love ?y wife ) all ?y he>t1 & %alt cleave unto h]1 & none else40 ,he quot$ also _m o!r passages ( ,scripture :i* _h ref]5ce to ! subject--ea* p[]ful to put aside ev5 ! idea ( polygamy2 & ea* equally p[]ful z an argum5t aga9/ polygamy itself4 ,let ! read] "h note ! value ( :at ,mormons say :5 _! fai? is call$ 9 "q4 ,see & judge4 ,bro!r ,taylor1 :o spoke at t meet+1 & utt]ly d5i$ polygamy1 _h himself--at t v mom5t :5 he s atroci\sly p]jur$ himself1 & :5 he swore t no ,mormon _h m ?an "o wife--five wives liv+ 9 ,salt ,lake ,city4 ,"o ( 8 fri5ds !re pres5t _h two wives2 & ! o!r 0 m>ri$ to a "m1 & h] own daught]6 ,any conclusion1 any expression ( disgu/ at ^! abom9ations & delib]ate p]juries1 ,i leave to ! read]4 ,among ^? :o came to see ,mr4 ,/5h\se be=e he left = ,italy1 0 ,eld] ,m>getts1 an ,engli% eld] ( "s prom95ce 9 ! ,briti% mission4 ,at ! picnic ( :i* ,i h already spok51 ,i notic$ t ?is eld] 0 m ?an usually att5tive to a pretty "y si/] :o 0 also pres5t4 ,!re 0 always an affectionate famili>ity among ! ,sa9ts2 z ,i previ\sly m5tion$1 !y 7 l bro!rs & si/]s1 & address$ ea* o!r z su*4 ,b ! att5tions ( ! eld] ,i speak ( po9t$ a little beyond all ?is4 ,he c\ld n1 p]haps1 be accus$ ( any op5 impropriety1 b he c]ta9ly look$ mu* m l ! girl's lov] ?an an ord9>y fri5d or h] spiritual advis]4 ,i knew ?is ,eld]'s family 9 ,london1 & 8 conduct pa9$ me a good deal4 ,s ,i drew ! att5tion ( my husb& to ! circum/ance2 & he said ! ,eld] 0 fooli%1 b he w\ld speak to !m bo?2 & ?is he did4 ,aft] ! dep>ture ( ! mission>ies1 ?is eld] rema9$ = sev]al days4 ,he !n return$ to ,london1 b x 0 n long be=e he 0 aga9 9 ,s\?ampton1 & he /ill paid m>k$ att5tion to ! same "y si/]4 ,?is caus$ unpleasant rem>ks among ! ,sa9ts1 :o at ?is "t c]ta9ly did n believe t polygamy 0 practis$ 9 ,utah4 ,at a lat] date ?is ,eld]1 ) "s o!rs1 0 aga9 9 ,s\?ampton1 & ,i 0 invit$ to take tea ) !m at ! h\se ( "o ( ! ,sa9ts4 ,9 ! c\rse ( ! ev5+ !re 0 a g5]al conv]sation on 8! "w ( ! ,"l10 9 :i* ,i1 ( c\rse1 0 greatly int]e/$4 ,:5ev] any ( ! mission>ies 7 visit+1 ! ,sa9ts w\ld seek _! society1 j l *ildr5 :o 7 glad to meet aga9 _! p>5ts aft] a long abs5ce2 & at su* times !y 7 at lib]ty to ask :at que/ions !y pleas$4 ,on ! ev5+ ,i speak (1 ,i well rememb] t ! g5]al subject ( conv]sation 0 ! apo/asy ( ! ,*ri/ian ,*ur* f ! true ord] ( ,god's salvation4 ,prom95ce 0 giv5 to ! hi/ory ( ,abraham & 8 desc5dants1 & occasional allusion 0 made to _! m>ital relations2 b no?+ directly 0 spok54 ,x 0 v evid5t t ^! eld]s only want$ to drop a ^w or two "h & !re1 to suit ^? :o want$ x2 b nev]!less !y spoke s obscurely & my/]i\sly t !y c\ld easily h retract$ :at 0 said if any "o _h accus$ !m ( tea*+ a doctr9e :i* !y 7 unwill+ op5ly to av[4 ,:5 ,i return$ home t night ,i 0 fully satisfi$ t ! ,eld] ,i h spok5 ( _h a reason = 8 frequ5t visits to ,s\?ampton1 & %ortly aft] ! "y si/] w5t to ,london4 ,:e!r ,polygamy 0 ev] to be a doctr9e ( ! ,*ur* or n1 x 0 v cle> to me t ! ,london ,eld] 0 a polygami/ at he>t4 ,! m my m9d dwelt on ^! ?+s1 ! m sick at he>t did ,i become1 & fa9t & we>y4 ,i _h1 h[ev]1 p]sonal c>es & trials en\gh to engage my att5tion4 ,i f\nd t ,i c\ld n dep5d ^u ! ,sa9ts to provide me ) ev5 ! b>e/ necess>ies ( life1 s ,i look$ ab\t me & made inquiries = "s light employm5t by :i* ,i might support myself4 ,my heal? at t "t w\ld n h all[$ me to d mu*1 b = a long "t ,i c\ld n get any?+ at all to d4 ,i _h1 ( c\rse1 be5 us$ to tea*+1 b employm5t ( t k9d x 0 j !n impossible = me to take1 ev5 if ,i c\ld h got x2 ! only res\rce :i* seem$ left to me 0 to f9d occupation = my ne$le1 & x 0 a long & we>y "t be=e ,i c\ld obta9 ev5 ?is4 ,at l5g? ,i got a little pla9 sew+ to d1 & out ( ! mis]able pittance ?us e>n$ ,i contriv$ to pay my r5t & provide a few necess>ies2 b at times t too 0 beyond my p[]1 & ,i h gone a =tnight at a "t ) no?+ to eat b dry bread4 ,/ill my fai? nev] fail$4 ,& ?us ! we>y days pass$ by4 ,n[1 h[ev]1 a new int]e/ began to ga!r r\nd my life1 = ,i expect$ be=e ! end ( ! ye> ! arrival ( a little /rang] to %>e my affections & my c>e4 ,?is c]ta9ly 0 a sad beg9n+ ( dome/ic bliss1 b /ill ! ?\ght 0 pleasant to me4 ,i _h at t "t no "o to aid me or com=t me4 ,! ,sa9ts 7 v k9d1 b !y c\ld n supply ! place ( an abs5t husb&4 ,my de>e/ fri5d1 ,m>y ,burton1 us$ to come z (t5 z %e c\ld to see me1 & h] pres5ce 0 l a gleam ( sun%9e2 b %e 0 s "y1 & innoc5t1 & happy1 t ,i _h n ! he>t to tr\ble h] ) my sorr[s4 ,all my jewell]y & tr9kets1 & ! great] "p ( my w>drobe1 _h gone 9 provid+ = my daily wants1 & 9 prep>+ ^? necess>y trifles ^u :i* a "y "m be/[s s mu* lov+ c>e4 ,my heal? 0 daily fail+1 & sometimes ,i d\bt$ if ,i %\ld ev] be well & /rong aga94 ,b all t ,i suff]$ 0 = ! ,*ur*1 & t ?\ght su/a9$ me4 ,(t5 ,i w\ld sit alone & ?9k--?9k ( ! pa/1 & all my e>ly day-dreams ( love1 & hope1 & bliss2 ?9k ( my husb& 9 a f>-(f l& devot+ 8 life & all 8 en]gies to ! prea*+ ( ! latt]-day glory2 ?9k ( ^? :isp]+s ( t accurs$ doctr9e :i* has s9ce br\ght desolation & angui% to ! he>ts ( s _m we>y wom52 ?9k ( my future life1 d>k z its promise ev5 !n appe>$4 ,sometimes ,i he>d f ,italy--he>d h[ my husb& 0 progress+ ) 8 "w1 & ) wifely love ,i sympa?iz$ ) him 9 all 8 difficulties1 = he told me h[ ardu\s ! task 0 9 :i* he 0 engag$4 ,x 0 n ! expectation ( ! ,mormon ,apo/les t ! mission>ies w\ld d mu* 9 ,ca?olic ,italy4 ,! same causes 7 9 op]ation !re z affect$ ! "w 9 ,france4 ,few1 if any1 really good ,roman ,ca?olics h ev] jo9$ ! ,sa9ts4 ,! ,iri% mission 0 nev] successful1 & ! same may be said ( ! ,fr5* & ,italian missions4 ,9 ,france & ,italy by f> ! great] "p ( ! p might be class$ "u two heads--,roman ,ca?olics1 & infidels4 ,! fir/ _h already an infallible guide 9 :i* !y tru/$2 & z = ! infidels1 !y ridicul$ ! idea ( any guide at all4 ,bo? classes 7 utt]ly devoid ( t acqua9tance ) ,scripture ( :i* ! ,mormon mission>ies und]/ood s well h[ to take advantage1 & :i* r5d]$ ^? s susceptible to religi\s influ5ces :o took ! ,bible z _! basis4 ,! mission>ies 9 ,italy soon exp]i5c$ ! difficulties pres5t$ by ^! facts4 ,aft] _! arrival 9 ,g5oa1 ,mr4 ,/5h\se 0 direct$ to c>ry ! gospel to ! ,wald5ses--^? brave old ,prote/ants ( ! d>k ages1 :o s manfully suff]$1 ev5 unto dea?1 = consci5ce sake2 & "s "t aft] he _h begun 8 lab\rs among !m1 ! ,apo/le ,sn[ jo9$ him4 ,:atev] !y might believe or tea* !oretically1 !re c be no d\bt t ! ,am]ican ,apo/les 7 l>gely end[$ ) ! 8organ0 ( caution4 ,prea*+ )\t purse or scrip among p :o ei!r dete/ y z a h]etic or else reg>d y ) pr(\nd indiff]5ce is n a pleasant task1 & ! ,mormon ,apo/les v prud5tly 8took up0 lib]al collections 9 ,engl& be=e !y />t$4 ,_h x n be5 = ?is common-s5se proce$+1 ,i am at a loss to say :at w\ld h become ( ! mission>ies 9 ,italy2 & z x 01 _! lot 0 n a v enviable "o4 ,besides ! sc>city ( money1 ! o!r great difficulty exp]i5c$ by ! mission>ies 0 le>n+ ! language ( _! de/9$ conv]ts4 ,= _m ye>s x 0 suppos$ among ! ,sa9ts t ! 8gift ( tongues0 w\ld be all-suffici5t = ?is purpose4 ,! two di/+ui%$ ,apo/les1 ,orson & ,p>ley ,p4 ,pratt1 ^: writ+s did s mu* = ,mormonism1 _h bo? ( !m eloqu5tly discuss$ ! subject 9 pr9t2 b ! mission>ies soon discov]$ t = practical purposes ! 8gift0 0 n ( mu* s]vice2 & ! two ,pratts !mselves aft]w>ds exp]i5c$--! "o 9 ,s\? ,am]ica & ! o!r 9 ,au/ria--! fallacy ( _! !ories4 ,)\t ! 8gift0 9 any %ape ! "w 9 ,italy 0 necess>ily v sl[1 & an ,eld] :o c\ld speak a little ,fr5* 0 s5t out f ,london to assi/ !m4 ,!y _h at la/ come to ! conclusion t if ! ,"l w\ld n be/[ ! 8gift0 ^u !m1 !y mu/ try to acquire x !mselves4 ,! ,apo/le ,sn[ n[ ?\ght ( s5d+ ! ,gospel to ! ,swiss1 & ,mr4 ,/5h\se 0 select$ = ! "w4 ,b be=e he w5t x 0 det]m9$ t ! ,*ur* 9 ,italy %\ld be 8organiz$10 & ab\t a week lat]1 ,i receiv$ a long acc\nt ( h[ ?is 0 done4 ,i he>d h[1 "o pleasant ,novemb] morn+1 ! ,apo/le ,sn[1 ,eld]s ,/5h\se & ,woodw>d1 toge!r ) sev]al ,wald5ses :om !y _h conv]t$1 asc5d$ ! m\nta9 side contigu\s to ,la ,t\r1 & ov]look+ ! f]tile valley ( ,p9]ello4 ,!re !y sang praises & pray$4 ,!y *ri/5$ ! place 8,m\nt ,brigham20 & ! /one ^u :i* ! ?ree eld]s /ood & (f]$ up a writt5 pray]1 !y nam$ 8,! ,rock ( ,prophecy20 & !re !y organiz$ ! *ur*1 d$icat+ ! soil ( ,italy to ! ,"l4 ,moreov]1 !n & !re my husb& 0 solemnly consecrat$ a 8,high-,prie/ aft] ! ,ord] ( ! ,son ( ,god40 ,all ?is ,i he>d1 & mu* m2 & 9 confid+ fai? t ?is 0 inde$ a great & glori\s "w1 ,i rejoic$ t ,i _h be5 acc\nt$ wor?y to suff] pati5tly at home1 if only my husb& might successfully fulfil 8 task abroad4 ,aft] t ,i he>d t he _h left ,italy1 & _h arriv$ 9 ,g5eva1 believ+ t he w\ld be m successful among ! ,swiss ?an ! ,italians4 ,a few days aft] ! arrival ( ! mission>y 9 ,g5eva1 an ev5t occurr$ :i* int]e/$ my own self p]sonally--my little ,cl>a 0 born4 ,v happy 0 ,i :5 ,i look$ ^u h] t9y little face = ! fir/ "t1 & kiss$ h] = be+ ! prettie/ baby 9 ! _w2 v happy 0 ,i :5 ,i fold$ h] 9 my arms1 & talk$ to h] z if %e c\ld und]/& all t ,i said2 v happy inde$1 z ,i look$ at h] aga9 & aga91 & m>vell$ :e!r %e really c\ld be1 inde$ & c]ta9ly1 my own baby girl4 ,x seem$ z if baby's papa w\ld nev] come back aga91 b ,i _h a companion n[ 9 my *ild2 & weak & we>y z ,i 01 ) new responsibilities & less p[] to help myself1 ,i f\nd com=t 9 my new c>e1 & realiz$ ! tru? ( ! old ,scot* song3-- 8,muckle li*t] is ! load ,:5 luve be>s up ! creel40 ,i 0 n n[ alone4 ,!n1 too1 came r\nd to see me1 ,m>y ,burton4 ,%e 0 z fond & t5d] to me z ev]1 & tripp$ quietly ab\t ! room1 & tri$ to wait ^u me1 & sat by ! b$1 play+ ) baby1 call+ h] all ! pretty ?+s %e c\ld ?9k (2 & ,i felt t h] pres5ce br\ght new light & life to my room4 ,%e br\ght me ano!r lett] f my husb&1 & ,i f\nd t he 0 n[ acquir+ = himself ! 8gift0 ( ! ,fr5* tongue1 unable to d mu* else1 z he & ev]ybody didn't und]/& ea* o!r4 ,he c\ld n yet talk to ! ,fr5*-speak+ ,g5evese2 & ! ,engli%-speak+ resid5ts w\ld n li/5 to him2 !y _h only he>d ( ,mormonism z a clumsy fraud1 & look$ ^u ! prophet ,joseph ,smi? z an impo/or4 ,s1 = a :ole w9t]1 he sat %ut up 9 8 own room1 por+ ov] a ,fr5* gramm>1 & deplor+ 8 h>d fate 9 be+ d5i$ ! gift ( tongues4 ,9 ! spr+ ( ! new ye> ,i receiv$ a di/+ui%$ visitor1 :o k9dly int]e/$ himself 9 my welf>e4 ,! ,apo/le ,lor5zo ,sn[ left ,pi$mont = ,engl&1 & pass$ ?r\gh ,g5eva en r\te4 ,on 8 way to ,london he call$ ^u me at ,s\?ampton1 & express$ mu* sympa?y = me4 ,he notic$ ! *ange 9 my appe>ance1 & imm$iately s5t = ,mr4 ,/5h\se to return to ,engl&4 ,he act$ v k9dly by me at t "t2 did all t he c\ld to assi/ me1 & said t he nev] aga9 w\ld ask any man to make su* a sacrifice4 ,i fully appreciat$ all 8 k9dness2 b mu* z ,i want$ to1 ,i did n v5ture to ask him ab\t ! tru? or falsity ( ^? t]rible sugge/ions :i* ,i _h he>d :isp]$ ( late4 ,my husb& ha/5$ home1 com+ by way ( ,calais1 9 ord] to meet 8 presid5t & receive 8 in/ructions4 ,! ,apo/le %[$ mu* sympa?y = him1 & v e>ly 9 ! morn+ accompani$ him "s miles to ! railway /ation2 b he nev] once m5tion$ h[ ,i _h be5 situat$ 9 ,s\?ampton until he left him1 & !n he exact$ f him a promise n to op5 8 lips :atev] he might le>n4 ,i ne$ n say t ,i 0 happy to see my husb& once aga91 & to pres5t to him 8 little daught]1 :o 0 n[ five mon?s old4 ,he 01 ( c\rse1 soon busy 9 visit+ ! ,sa9ts1 & he receiv$ f !m _m tok5s ( atta*m5t4 ,9 ! beg9n+ ( ,june a ,g5]al ,conf]5ce ( ! bran*es ( ! ,*ur* 9 ,brita9 0 held 9 ,london4 ,! ,apo/les & =eign mission>ies 7 pres5t1 & my husb& & ,i 7 also !re4 ,we _h spee*es & pray]s4 ,! bus9ess ( ! ,conf]5ce occupi$ b v few m9utes1 = no measure 0 que/ion$4 ,among ! ,mormons !re are no op9ions1 no discussion4 ,! presid+ head has made out 8 programme be=e he comes to ! ,conf]5ce2 he kn[s :at he wants to d1 & no "o ev] que/ions him4 ,he may p]haps = =m's sake invite ! bre?r5 to speak on any po9t he introduces2 b :5 he has furni%$ ! clue to 8 wi%es1 ! ,eld]s :o speak only sp5d _! "t 9 argum5ts 9 fav\r ( 8 measures4 ,at ! ,conf]5ce ( :i* ,i speak ! reports ( ! native eld]s 7 v *e]+ to u4 ,?r\gh\t ,engl& & ,wales !y _h be5 mo/ successful 9 add+ memb]s to ! ,*ur*4 ,mormonism 0 !n mo/ successfully prea*$ 9 ,brita94 ,!re 7 m ,mormons !re ?an 9 all ,utah ,t]ritory3 !re 7 fifty ,conf]5ces1 ) ov] sev5 hundr$ organiz$ 8bran*es10 & m ?an six ?\s& m5 orda9$ to ! prie/hood4 ,t peculi> influ5ce :i* ! ,mormons call 8! ,_s10 ( :i* ,i h spok5 else:]e1 0 spok5 ( by ! ,eld]s z be+ a common exp]i5ce ev]y:]e4 ,dur+ all t ,conf]5ce ,i li/5$ c>efully = a ^w f ! lips ( any ( ! speak]s :i* might indicate 9 any way t ,polygamy 0 "p ( ! ,mormon fai?2 b n a :isp]1 n a h9t1 0 utt]$4 ,i naturally conclud$ t ! ,eld]s1 ^: d\btful expressions at ,s\?ampton _h s tr\bl$ my m9d1 7 mis9=m$ or unsafe m54 ,/ill ,i c\ld n altoge!r bani% my appreh5sion ( com+ evil2 b s b\nd to secrecy 7 ^? :o did "k ( ,polygamy be+ practis$ 9 ,utah1 t !re 0 n "o :o w\ld admit x1 & ev5 my own husb&'s lips 7 seal$ to me4 ,he did n d5y x1 b he w\ld n talk ab\t x1 & did ev]y?+ he c\ld to bani% ! ?\ght f my m9d4 ,at t ,conf]5ce ! ,apo/le ,sn[ spoke v /rongly ( ! way 9 :i* ,i _h be5 neglect$2 & x 0 arrang$ t ,eld] ,/5h\se %\ld return to ,switz]l&1 & t ,i %\ld accompany him4 ,my k ( ,fr5* 0 expect$ to be v s]viceable4 ,we n[ made prep>ations = an e>ly dep>ture1 & prep>$ to leave our fri5ds4 ,to ! read] x may seem /range = a man1 8 wife1 & babe1 to be s5t out 9 ?is way on a mission )\t any prop] arrangem5t = _! ma9t5ance2 b to my m9d1 at ! "t1 x seem$ to me n only p]fectly prop]1 b altoge!r 9 accordance ) ,god's ^w & comm&m5t4 ,my "y fri5d1 ,m>y ,burton1 came r\nd to bid me good-bye2 & ! poor girl wept1 & ,i wept ) h]1 & we kiss$ "o ano!r t5d]ly z our te>s m+l$4 ,we _h become v de> to ea* o!r1 & ! ?\ght ( sep>ation = ye>s1 or p]haps = ev]1 0 v pa9ful to u4 ,%e hung ab\t my neck at ! la/ mom5t1 kiss+ me1 & begg+ me n to =get to write to h] v1 v (t52 & ?is ,i gladly promis$ h]1 ask+ ! same 9 return4 ,!n ) a fond embrace we p>t$1 & x 0 ye>s be=e ,i saw h] de> face aga94 ,?us x 0 t we ?ree--my husb&1 my babe1 & myself--set =? on our pilgrimage to conv]t ! ,swiss4 ,x 0 ) no ord9>y feel+s t ,i ent]$ ! anci5t city ( ,g5eva4 ,i 0 n ignorant ( its hi/ory1 & ! /ruggles ( its inhabitants = civil & religi\s lib]ty4 ,x _h be5 ! refuge = ! ,engli% ,prote/ants dur+ ! fi]y days ( ,que5 ,m>y2 j z 9 ! "t ( ! ,fr5* ,revolution x 0 ! refuge ( infidel & ,papi/1 royali/ & republican alike4 ,!re ,calv9 liv$ 9 gloomy au/]ity1 battl+ ) ,rome2 !re ,s]vetus1 ! ,unit>ian1 0 condemn$ to be roa/$ alive z a h]etic2 & !re we expect$ 9 our own humble way to be able to te/ify1 by our suff]+ & pati5ce1 to :at we firmly believ$ 0 ! tru?4 ,9 free c\ntries l ,engl& & ! ,unit$ /ates--free f ! surveillance ( a milit>y police1 x is easy1 if he wi%es x1 = ! mission>y to m\nt a *air at a /reet corn]1 or hold =? "u a tree2 & su* has (t5 be5 done4 ,b all ov] cont95tal ,europe !re is h>dly a place :]e ?is w\ld be possible4 ,9 ! v>i\s gr& du*ies1 k+doms1 & empires1 pat]nal gov]nm5ts look too closely aft] ! morals & religion ( _! subjects2 :ile "u ! ephem]al republics1 z long z !y happ5 to la/1 !re is (t5 to be f\nd1 "u ! "n ( lib]ty1 a despotism m despotic ?an "u ! rule ( royalty4 ,x is ! colporteur1 ! man ( books & tracts1 :o makes ! conv]ts !re2 & 9 ?is sl[ way we soon f\nd t we 7 de/9$ to proce$4 ,dur+ my husb&'s =m] /ay 9 ,g5eva he _h _h nei!r ,mormon books nor ,mormon pap]s1 ) ! exception ( a pap] publi%$ at ,b\logne1 conta9+ a lett] by ! ,apo/le ,taylor1 9 ,fr5* & ,engli%4 ,?is s+le copy he l5t to a ,g5evese to read1 & nev] saw x aga92 & yet 9 a %ort "t1 ev5 be=e he c\ld prop]ly speak ,fr5*1 he conv]t$ & baptiz$ two m5 9 ! ,rhone1 "o ( :om is to-day a devot$ ,mormon 9 ,s\!rn ,utah4 ,8 fir/ attack 0 ^u a %oemak]1 :om he visit$ = ! purpose ( repairs4 ,:ile ! %oemak] work$1 ,eld] ,/5h\se talk$2 & z ! ,engli% are all reput$ weal?y on ! cont95t1 ! fri5dly ov]tures ( ! ,mormon mission>y 7 graci\sly receiv$4 ,z !y grew intimate1 ,eld] ,/5h\se w\ld sit d[n on ! b5* beside ! man z he work$1 & tak+ f 8 pocket a ,fr5* ,te/am5t1 :i* he always c>ri$ ab\t ) him1 w\ld try to read x al\d--! good-natur$ %oemak] und]tak+ to correct 8 pronunciation4 ,9 ?is way he kept 8 auditor's att5tion con/antly fix$ ^u c]ta9 passages1 m especially ^? :i* spoke ( baptism = ! remission ( s9s1 & ! lay+ on ( h&s = ! gift ( ! ,holy ,gho/4 ,s p]si/5t 0 he t at la/ ! %oemak]'s curiosity 0 awak5$1 & f9ally he 0 baptiz$2 b un=tunately1 n long aft] a small pamphlet ^u ! mission ( ,joseph ,smi? fell into 8 h&s1 & made %ipwreck ( 8 fai?4 ,) 8 second conv]t he 0 mu* m successful4 ,?is "t x 0 8 l&lord :o 0 to be ! subject ( attack4 ,he 0 a tailor1 &1 =tunately = ! mission>y1 some:at talkative4 ,! same arrangem5t 0 made ab\t read+ & correction1 & ) a l result--! tailor 0 baptiz$4 ,j at ?is "t came ! ,apo/le ,sn['s lett]1 tell+ my husb& to return to ,engl&2 & z he might n leave ! c\ntry )\t a repres5tative1 he orda9$ ! tailor a prie/ 9 ! ,mormon ,*ur*4 ,:5 we arriv$ 9 ,g5eva1 ,monsieur le tailleur 0 all t con/itut$ ! ,*ur* ( ,jesus ,*ri/ ( ,latt]-day ,sa9ts 9 ,switz]l&4 ,soon a few p]sonal fri5ds began to ga!r1 to he> ! ,engli% mission>y tell ab\t ! new religion2 & my husb& be+ v mu* 9 e>ne/1 int]e/ be=e long began to be excit$4 ,i rememb] well our fir/ meet+s among ! ,swiss--half-a-doz5 p sitt+ r\nd a table ) op5 ,bibles be=e !m1 passages f :i* ,mr4 ,/5h\se 0 try+ 9 v bad ,fr5* to make !m und]/&4 ,i piti$ him v mu*1 b ^? :o 7 pres5t made z if !y did n notice 8 emb>rassm5t1 & li/5$ ) m>k$ att5tion4 ,among ! ,mormons x is a woman's duty to keep sil5ce2 ,i !re=e rema9$ a li/5] only4 ,b at ! close ( ! s]vice--= su* x 0 reg>d$--:5 ,i might speak1 my mission>y lab\rs began2 ,i 0 ar\s$ to eloqu5ce1 & our p>t+ 0 long] ?an our meet+4 ,! w>m? ) :i* ! few :o 7 pres5t respond$ to our ef=ts satisfi$ me t !y _h come "u ! same my/]i\s influ5ce :i* ,i _h obs]v$ 9 ,engl&4 ,i 0 !n conv9c$ t ,mormonism c\ld awak5 ! ,*ri/ian s\l m to a realization ( :at x already possess$1 ?an imp>t to x any new moral or religi\s qualities4 ,mormonism ( itself nev] made ,*ri/ians1 b ,*ri/ianity built up ,mormonism4 ,x 0 an awak5+ to ! tea*+s ( ,*ri/ & ,8 ,apo/les t begat confid5ce 9 ! mission ( ! ,mormon ,prophet4 ,al?\gh we obs]v$ ! v /ricte/ economy1 x did n take long = u to exhau/ :at little money we br\ght f ,engl&4 ,?is plac$ u 9 a v awkw>d position4 ,x is inconv5i5t en\gh to be )\t money 9 "o's own c\ntry1 :]e "o und]/&s & is und]/ood by ev]ybody2 b to be 9 a /range l&1 especially 9 a c\ntry l ,switz]l&1 :]e e ,engli%man is suppos$ to be a 8milor0 & ! b\nte\s disp5s] ( unlimit$ weal?1 x is m ?an inconv5i5t4 ,we left our fir/ qu>t]s1 :]e we _h _h s _m visitors1 & r5t$ a room f a wid[ woman1 :o =tunately 0 n inquisitive4 ,%e _h a family ( *ildr5 to support2 & z we paid our r5t mon?ly 9 advance1 %e _h no occasion to "k :e!r or n we kept a bank acc\nt2 & we 7 ?ankful t x 0 s1 =1 _h x be5 s orda9$1 we c\ld !re h />v$ to dea? )\t attract+ ! notice ( any "o4 ,a nice ?+ to be ?ankful =6 ,we 7 n hopeless1 ?\gh we 7 heavy he>t$2 b we _h expect$ trial1 & c\ld n compla91 = we knew f ! beg9n+ t ?us x w\ld probably be4 ,"o day my husb& receiv$ a lett] f an infidel g5tleman :o liv$ 9 ,lausanne1 a neighb\r+ canton1 reque/+ him to come & see him1 t !y might talk toge!r ov] ,mormonism1 = he _h he>d ( u & ( our doctr9e2 & my husb& resolv$ to visit him be=e our money 0 all gone4 ,:5 ,mr4 ,/5h\se rea*$ ,lausanne1 he visit$ fir/ a ,prote/ant m9i/] ) :om he _h "s slight acqua9tance1 & :o 0 also int]e/$ 9 ,mormonism1 & told him t he 0 go+ to call ^u ! ,g\v]neur de l',hpital4 ,! m9i/] 0 greatly oppos$ to my husb& visit+ su* a man4 8,he is a sociali/10 he said1 8a revolutioni/2 he f\ght at ! b>ricades2 he is a mauvais sujet1 & any?+ b a fit p]son to be spok5 to ab\t religion40 ,?is only increas$ ! int]e/ :i* ,mr4 ,/5h\se felt 9 ! gov]nor1 & made him m ?an ev] det]m9$ to see him2 & he did see him1 al?\gh ! good m9i/] _h repres5t$ him 8aussi noir que le diable40 ,s !y met2 & my husb& began ! "w = :i* he _h come4 ,!y _h long talks toge!r1 & my husb&--z did ! eld]s ev] 9 su* cases--spoke to ! gov]nor ( r$emption ?r\gh ,*ri/1 & baptism = ! remission ( s9s4 ,fai? is n an act ( ! w4 ,l ! unse5 w9d1 x comes1 & we see ! p[] !re(1 b "k n :5ce x proce$s4 ,?us at fir/ ! unbeliev+ gov]nor f\nd x2 he might f9d himself no mat* = ! argum5ts ( 8 oppon5t1 b he c\ld n =ce 8 he>t to believe1 & he 0 by no means a will+ conv]t4 ,my husb&1 h[ev]1 rema9$ ) him2 & be=e he left1 ! gov]nor _h be5 baptiz$ into ! *ur*4 ,our new conv]t prov$ to be a mo/ excell5t & wor?y man1 not)/&+ 8 =m] infidelity1 & he 0 subsequ5tly a great aid to u 9 our mission4 ,we felt satisfi$ t ! exp5ses ( t j\rney _h be5 well sp5t1 al?\gh a few francs at t "t c\ld ill be sp>$4 ,b our circum/ances seem$ to be gett+ worse & worse1 & my heal? began to fail4 ,= sev]al mon?s nei!r ( u _h _h suffici5t n\ri%m5t1 & my anxieties increas$ my physical weakness4 ,i 0 dispirit$1 yet ,i fe>$ to compla91 or ev5 to let my husb& "k :at ,i felt4 ,at l5g? ,i fell really ill1 & c\ld n leave my b$4 ,i well rememb] ! solemn sil5ce t reign$ 9 our home "o day4 ,i _h ris5 f my b$1 weak1 & oh1 s fa9t-he>t$ t ,i _h sc>cely any desire to live2 & ,i 0 sitt+ ) my little daught] 9 my arms4 ,%e _h cri$ h]self to sleep1 cold & hungry1 &1 mu* z ,i lov$ h]--nay1 idoliz$ h]--,i confess t = an in/ant ,i h>b\r$ 9 my s\l ! impi\s1 ! unnatural wi%1 t r ?an see my d>l+ awake aga9 to cold & hung]1 %e might sleep h] sweet "y life away4 ,= me to yield to su* a ?\ght--to wi% my *ild to wake no m6 ,i1 :o w\ld h giv5 gladly ! la/ drop ( my life-blood to save h]6 ,= me to look ^u h] innoc5t little face ) su* a ?\ght6 ,i c h>dly n[ believe t su* a ?+ 0 possible1 ev5 = a mom5t4 ,b ,i 0 desp]ate1 & bold1 & c[>dly--all at ! same "t2 or my he>t 0 humiliat$ by pov]ty1 & my fai? 0 r\s+ bitt] ?\ghts 9 my m9d4 ,my husb& 0 pac+ ! room4 ,i knew too well all t 0 pass+ 9 8 m9d1 al?\gh we _h long be5 sil5t4 ,at l5g? ,i said to him1 8,take c\rage1 de>1 = we are ! s]vants ( ! great ,god1 & surely ,he w f9d a means ( escape = u4 ,we 7 s5t "h2 we came because ! ,"l want$ u to come1 & surely ,he w provide = u60 ,he turn$ to me 9 reply1 & said k9dly1 8,we c at lea/ h "s wat]20 & he w5t = "s wat]2 & !n1 ) z rev]5tial feel+ 9 8 s\l z ev] inspir$ a grace be=e d9n]1 he bless$ x1 & we drank4 ,we _h sc>cely done s :5 ! mail-c\ri] br\ght a lett] to our door4 ,gov]nor ,/\deman1 ) a feel+ ( delicacy1 _h hesitat$1 :5 my husb& visit$ him at ,lausanne1 to (f] him any assi/ance2 b1 he said 9 8 lett]1 he _h be5 8impress$0 to d s1 & hop$ t we %\ld n be (f5d$4 ,z ! lett] 0 op5$1 a piece ( gold fell ^u ! table4 ,we c\ld h>dly believe t ,god _h s soon answ]$ our pray]s1 & s5t u relief2 & our emotions ( gratitude = ?is timely aid1 f\nd expression 9 te>s4 ,all ?is "t our l&lady knew no?+ ( our di/ress2 %e 0 z ignorant ( our situation z if %e _h nev] se5 u4 ,s long z ,i 0 able to walk ab\t1 ,i us$ at regul> h\rs to g to ! kit*51 get ! cook+ ut5sils1 & g ?r\gh ! r\t9e ( cook+1 z if we _h _h a well-fill$ l>d] all ! "t4 ,i set ! table ) punctili\s c>e1 & ! good old wid[ nev] suspect$ b t we _h pl5ty4 ,?us suppos+ t we want$ no?+1 %e & h] *ildr5 7 m ?an ord9>ily k9d to u & to our little girl1 :o 0 n[ old en\gh to toddle r\nd & g f room to room4 ,v (t5 !y w\ld get h] into _! room at meal-"t1 & give h] little ?+s to please h]2 & :ile !y felt hon\r$ 9 be+ p]mitt$ to d s1 we 7 sil5tly ?ankful = our *ild's sake1 = h] suff]+s 7 m ?an we c\ld endure4 ,! tempor>y aid f ,lausanne 0 v welcome to u1 ?\gh x only s]v$ to make u feel m ke5ly our dep5d5t position4 ,i might relate /ories1 alas1 too true6 ( cold & want2 ( days1 & ev5 almo/ an entire week1 pass$ at "o "t )\t food--/ories :i* = pa9ful detail w\ld eclipse romance4 ,x 0 a we>y wait+ = ,provid5ce6 ,su* ?+s are bett] =gott54 ,& yet ,i feel t 9 aft] ye>s my temp] 0 m subdu$1 & my m9d m pati5t "u affliction1 ?an x w\ld h be5 _h ,i n exp]i5c$ ?is prep>atory discipl9e4 ,p :o h he>d1 ) a sne]1 ( ,mormon mission>ies & _! "w1 w\ld p]haps h realiz$ t fai? may be s9c]e1 al?\gh mi/ak51 if !y c\ld h se5 u at t "t4 ,! fir/ tea*]s ( a doctr9e1 :e!r x be good or evil1 if only x /ems ! curr5t op9ions ( ! h\r1 h ev] f\nd t at ! end ( a rocky way !re 0 wait+ = !m a cr[n ( ?orns4 ,_m a "t s9ce !n ,i h felt ! weight ( anxi\s c>e 9 provid+ = my family2 ! trial ( our fai? has n be5 light1 or seldom repeat$2 b ^? days ( tr\ble 9 ,switz]l& 71 ,i ?9k1 ! d>ke/ ,i ev] exp]i5c$4 ,we realiz$ lit]ally ! necessity ( tru/+ to ,god's daily m]cies = our daily bread2 & ! assurance t ! ,"l w\ld provide1 0 our only hope4 ,to say t we practis$ ! /ricte/ economy1 w\ld be to give b a fa9t idea ( ! way 9 :i* we _h to consid] & contrive 9 ord] to exi/ at all4 ,= ye>s we kept ! 8,^w ( ,wisdom0--a 8,revelation ( ,joseph ,smi?10 :i* enjo9$ ab/95ce f w9e1 c(fee1 tea1 or1 9 fact1 w>m dr9ks ( any k9d2 & trifl+ z su* self-d5ial may at fir/ appe>1 x 0 n really s :5 o!r privations 7 add$ !reto4 ,= mon?s at a "t we exi/$--= ,i d>e n say liv$--)\t :at are consid]$1 ev5 by ! poore/1 ! mo/ common necess>ies4 ,i c ev5 recall to m9d "o try+ week 9 ,switz]l&1 :51 = ! :ole sev5 long days1 we _h less ?an a p9t ( corn-fl\r to live ^u1 & t 0 *iefly res]v$ = our poor *ild4 ,z ,i look back to ^? d>k1 pa9ful times ,i feel t x 0 by little %ort ( a miracle t our lives 7 sp>$4 ,our fai? alone sav$ u4 ,,*apt] ,,vii4 ,,our ,,mission ,,9 ,,switz]l&--,,mutt]+s ,,( ,,! ,,com+ ,,/orm4 ,v soon aft] ?is we 7 notifi$ t ! ,apo/le ,sn[ 0 on 8 way to ,switz]l&1 & t we might %ortly expect him4 ,?is to me 0 joyful news1 = he _h reliev$ me ( my tr\ble once be=e1 & ,i almo/ look$ ^u him z my good angel4 ,he came1 & rema9$ ) u a few days2 & be=e he left he in/ruct$ ,mr4 ,/5h\se to repair to ,engl&1 to raise funds to aid ! mission4 ,he also gave me a few p\nds to procure :at ,i ne$$ = an ev5t :i* ,i expect$ %ortly to take place4 ,?is k9dness on 8 "p br\ght to my m9d su* a s5se ( relief1 & s r5ew$ my en]gy1 t ,i felt ready = my mission>y lab\rs aga94 ,:5 my second *ild 0 ab\t two mon?s old ,i w5t to ,lausanne to reside1 :ile my husb& 0 abs5t 9 ,engl&4 ,ap>tm5ts 7 engag$ = me at ! h\se ( a g5tleman :o _h rec5tly be5 baptiz$4 ,i 0 made v com=table !re1 & = ! fir/ "t s9ce my husb& 0 s5t on a mission1 ,i exp]i5c$ a feel+ ( repose1 s t ,i n[ _h "s hopes ( rega9+ m5tal & physical /r5g?4 ,no provision _h be5 made by ! ,sa9ts = my support2 b ev5 )\t t1 ,i ?\ght1 liv+ among ^? :o 7 !mselves happy1 & "o ) u 9 ! fai?1 ,i %\ld myself f9d m tranquillity ( m9d4 ,madame & ,monsieur ,balif1 9 ^: h\se ,i resid$1 7 p]sons ( good social position4 ,! husb& 0 "o ( nature's g5tlem51 & z good a man z ,i ev] knew4 ,he receiv$ ! ,mormonism taught by ,mr4 ,/5h\se ) all 8 he>t1 & nev] seem$ we>y ( %[+ 8 gratitude by 8 good de$s4 ,madame ,balif did n at once jo9 ! *ur*1 & probably nev] w\ld h done s b = ! love :i* %e bore to h] husb&4 ,%e 0 n1 h[ev]1 ho/ile to ! new fai?1 z "s o!r wives 71 & %e did all t %e c\ld to r5d] pleasant my /ay ) !m1 & tri$ to make me =get :at ,i _h suff]$ 9 ,g5eva4 ,madame ,balif 0 a high-spirit$1 impulsive woman1 & devot$ly atta*$ to h] husb&2 ,i nev] saw a woman m s4 ,%e impress$ me z be+ "o ( ! happie/ ( wives2 he "o ( ! be/ ( husb&s4 ,aft] ,i _h liv$ 9 ! h\se a few weeks1 %e 0 baptiz$2 b %e nev] 0 satisfi$ ) ,mormonism4 ,poor1 de> lady6 ,h[ (t5 h ,i bitt]ly regrett$ t ,i 0 in/rum5tal 9 lead+ h] into ! ,mormon ,*ur*1 9 :i*1 z 7ye>s lat]1 9 ,utah7 %e told me1 %e endur$ su* cruel humiliation & m>tyrdom4 ,i knew well inde$ !n :at all t meant4 ,:ile ,i liv$ ) !m1 x 0 agre$ t ,i %\ld pay = my ap>tm5ts mon?ly2 b aft] ,i _h paid = ! fir/ mon?1 ,monsieur ,balif told me t ,i %\ld d s no m4 ,& kn[+ t he meant x z an expression ( k9dness & gratitude on 8 "p1 ,i felt reliev$ ( all anxiety on t acc\nt4 ,all t ,i _h1 ev5 !n1 = ! support ( myself & my two little ones 0 ab\t five francs 7#a7 a week2 b my wants 7 few1 = ,i _h taught myself to require no?+ b :at 0 absolutely necess>y to keep me alive4 ,dur+ ,mr4 ,/5h\se's abs5ce1 ! meet+s 7 held 9 my p>l\r2 & z ! bre?r5 :o _h jo9$ ! *ur* _h n previ\sly be5 religi\s m51 ?\gh !y 7 p]sons ( ! be/ moral "*1 !y 7 v diffid5t ab\t conduct+ ! meet+s1 & = a "t c\ld n ?9k ( pray+ be=e o!rs4 ,x devolv$ ^u me--( %e] necessity1 = ,i dislik$ prom95ce z mu* z !y did--to lead ! s++1 to pray1 to prea*--9 fact1 to d ev]y?+4 ,_h ,i n done s1 !y w\ld h sat look+ at ea* o!r1 = !y 7 all too timid to speak4 ,i enc\rag$ !m 9 e way to try1 & f9ally we got along v well4 ,a 8good _s0 prevail$2 & we 7 l a little b& ( bro!rs & si/]s4 ,! only p]son1 n[1 :o gave me any anxiety 0 ,madame ,balif1 :o 0 v weak 9 ! fai?4 ,h] d\bts & fe>s tr\bl$ me mu*1 = ,i _h conceiv$ a v great reg>d = h]4 ,i fe>$ t ) a he>t s pr\d & rebelli\s z h]s1 %e w\ld nev] get salvation1 & ,i trembl$ = h] happ9ess4 ,h[ slight a hold ! new fai? _h tak5 ( h] m9d1 ,i 0 =cibly rem9d$ by an incid5t :i* 0 at ! "t a great trial to me4 ,my little daught] fell sick ( int]mitt5t fev]1 & ,i d>$ n call 9 a physician2 x w\ld n d = me1 a mission>y's wife1 to %[ lack ( fai?4 ,su* 0 our zeal 9 ^? days4 ,b n[1 z ,i once be=e /at$1 ev5 ! mo/ or?odox ,mormons1 includ+ ,brigham ,"y1 d n ?9k ( rely+ ^u ,god & ! ord9ances ( ! *ur*1 z !y us$ to 9 =m] ye>s1 b call 9 ! be/ physician !y c get4 ,i 0 mu* tr\bl$ ab\t my little girl1 = %e 0 evid5tly fail+ fa/4 ,%e _h be5 8adm9i/]$ to0 by "o ( ! native eld]s1 :o _h ano9t$ h] ) oil1 & pray$ ov] h]2 b yet %e did n get bett]4 ,madame ,balif1 9 ! mid/ ( my affliction1 taunt$ me ab\t ! *ild n recov]+1 & ask$ :]e 0 ! p[] ( ,god1 ( :i* ,i _h talk$ s mu*3 8,n[10 %e said 8if y c\ld get t *ild heal$1 x w\ld be "s pro( to my m9d t ! p[] y speak ( is /ill 9 ! *ur*40 ,i felt a%am$ t ,i _h n ex]cis$ m fai?4 ,i 0 c]ta9 t ! gift ( heal+ 0 9 ! *ur*1 & ,i believ$ x 0 my own fault t ! *ild 0 n ev5 n[ well4 ,9 my zeal ,i repli$ r w>mly1 8,my *ild w be heal$1 & y %all see x40 ,b ,i _h no soon] utt]$ ^! words ?an ,i began to fe> ,i _h promis$ too mu*4 ,i det]m9$1 h[ev]1 t no?+ on my "p %\ld be left undone4 ,i s5t = ,gov]nor ,/\deman1 our new conv]t1 z he 0 ! presid5t ( ! bran* & an eld]4 ,i told him t ?is *ild mu/ be heal$ by ! p[] ( ,god4 ,we _h n witness$ any manife/ation ( ! heal+ p[] among ! ,sa9ts 9 ,switz]l& up to t "t2 & ,i e>ne/ly desir$ t n[ = ! fir/ "t ?is gift might be prov$ among u1 = ! sake ( ! *ur* z well z = my own4 ,s ,i told ! gov]nor t x 0 8 duty1 z well z m9e1 to fa/ & pray t ! ,"l might grant u ?is bless+1 t x might be a te/imony t x 0 ,8 "w & t we 7 ,8 s]vants4 ,he became z en?usia/ic z ,i 0 myself1 & we fa/$ & pray$ = ne>ly two days4 ,at ! end ( t "t he came to see me1 & by ! b$side we knelt & pray$2 & he laid 8 h&s ^u ! *ild1 & bless$ h] 9 ! "n ( ! ,"l4 ,t night ! *ild 0 v l[2 & ?\gh ,i /rove to %[ my fai?1 ,i dread$ t %e w\ld h h] usual attack ( fev] ab\t midnight4 ,aft] ! dep>ture ( ! eld]1 ,madame ,balif came into ! room1 & said1 8,y\r *ild is v ill2 if y\r ,god _c help h]1 :y d n y s5d = a physician80 ,?is appe>$ to me s pr(ane1 & su* an insult to my ,god & my fai?1 t ,i repli$ indignantly1 8,madame1 %e w & %all be heal$ ?is v night2 = ,i "k t p[] is 9 ! *ur*4 ,! reason :y ! *ild 0 n heal$ be=e is1 because ,i h n be5 e>ne/ en\gh 9 seek+ ! ,"l40 ,:5 ,i 0 left alone ,i sat d[n by ! b$side1 trembl+ le/ ,i _h be5 too ra% 9 decl>+ t ! *ild w\ld be heal$ t same night4 ,mu* & fondly z ,i lov$ my little treasure1 ,i confess t ,i suff]$ m at ! ?\ght ( ,god's "n suff]+ reproa* ?an ,i did f fe> ( my d>l+'s dea?2 & ,i tri$ e>ne/ly to bani% my d\bts1 ) ! remembrance t all ?+s are possible to !m t believe4 ,kneel+ !re 9 ! d>k & lonesome midnight1 ,i p\r$ out my s\l f]v5tly to ,god1 besee*+ ,him1 = ,8 k+dom's sake1 & = ! glory ( ,8 great "n1 to answ]1 & n to suff] my unwor?9ess to /& 9 ! way4 ,i wat*$ h\r aft] h\r beside my d>l+'s b$1 & ! *ild slept on peacefully1 )\t any symptoms ( return+ fev]2 &1 oh6 h[ anxi\sly ,i wait$ = h] awak+4 ,at la/1 worn out ) fatigue & wat*+1 ,i laid myself d[n on ! b$ beside h]1 & soon fell asleep2 & :5 ,i awoke x 0 daylight1 & my little "o 0 peacefully sleep+ on /ill--! fev] _h left h]4 ,no tongue c\ld tell ! gratitude :i* fill$ my he>t2 ,i c\ld only weep te>s ( joy1 & s+ al\d my praise to ,god4 ,madame ,balif ent]$ ! room e>ly 9 ! morn+ to see :at k9d ( a night we _h pass$4 ,!n ,i drew h] to ! b$side1 & told h] h[ tranquilly ! *ild _h slept all night1 & %[$ h] h[ mu* bett] %e look$1 & ask$ h] if %e did n see 9 all ?is ! provid5ce ( ,god4 ,b %e simply said1 8,ah1 well6 ,i suppose ! disease _h run its c\rse40 ,?is griev$ me1 = ,i _h tru/$ t su* a direct answ] to my pray]s w\ld h help$ to increase h] fai? 9 our religion2 b ,mormonism _h n t\*$ h] he>t2 & ,i believe x is mu* m ! devotion ( ! he>t ?an x is ! m5tal acquiesc5ce 9 doctr9e :i* gives u ! p[] to hope1 & endure1 & believe4 ,:51 by-&-by1 my little ,cl>a awoke1 %e 0 evid5tly v mu* bett]1 & n only free f ! fev]1 b bright & *e]ful1 l h] =m] self2 & %e nev] relaps$4 ,9 ! c\rse ( a week %e 0 runn+ ab\t z well z ev]1 & ! ,sa9ts 7 greatly confirm$ 9 _! fai?4 ,"o morn+1 n long aft] ?is1 ,madame ,balif br\ght me a lett] :i*1 z x bore ! ,engli% po/m>k1 %e suppos$ came f my husb&4 ,! writ+1 h[ev]1 0 /range to me2 & dread+ t "s t]rible ?+ might h happ5$1 ,i tore x op54 ,!re1 at ! bottom ( ! la/ page--= ! lett] 0 v long--9 neat1 cle> *>act]s1 0 ! signature ( my fairy fri5d1 z ,i call$ h]1 ,m>y ,burton4 ,i read ! lett] ?r\gh ) ! deepe/ int]e/4 ,x 0 address$ 8,to d>l+ ,si/] ,/5h\se10 & 0 ov]fl[+ ) affection4 ,us$ z ,i 0 to all h] ende>+ ways1 ,i c\ld almo/ fancy t :ile ,i read ,i he>d h] speak+ ! words4 ,aft] a great outp\r+ ( love1 %e said1-- 8,s9ce y w5t1 ,i h gr[n q an old woman4 ,y us$ to call me #8,little fairy1' b1 ,si/] ,/5h\se1 ,i am mu* bigg] n[4 ,i am n[ a good deal ov] sev5te51 & p say t ,i am gett+ to be q a woman4 ,i might tell y "s o!r pretty ?+s t are said ab\t me1 b ,i'm afraid y w\ld say x 0 all vanity ( vanities4 ,if y /ay away mu* long]1 y won't recognize me :5 we meet aga94 8,& n[ ,i want to tell y some?+ t int]e/s y z mu* z me4 ,i h n be5 able to discov] any?+ m ) c]ta9ty ab\t ^? hateful ?+s ( :i* ,i told y1 al?\gh ! ^w ,polygamy seems to me to become e day mu* m famili> 9 p's conv]sation4 ,eld] ,%rewsbury tells me t !re is n a ^w ( tru? 9 x2 & he has _h a good deal ( conv]sation ^u t subject ) ! apo/les :o are "h1 & also ) a man nam$ ,curtis ,e4 ,bolton--an ,eld] f ! ,salt ,lake2 & !y all positively decl>e t x is a f\l sl&] ^u ! ,sa9ts ( ! ,mo/ ,high4 ,s y see t all our unhapp9ess 0 = naught4 ,our ,savi\r said we %\ld be bless$ :5 all m5 spoke evil ( u falsely = ,8 "n's take2 & ! wick$ sc&al :i* has be5 rais$ aga9/ our religion has _h a t5d5cy to /r5g!n my fai?1 :i* y "k 0 r wav]+4 8,& yet d y "k1 ,si/] ,/5h\se1 t ev5 :ile ,i am writ+ to y 9 ?is /ra91 ,i am weak en\gh to all[ d\bts & fe>s to creep into my he>t :5 ,i ?9k ( ! conduct ( "s ( ! ,am]ican bre?r54 8,!y appe> to me1 = m>ri$ m51 to act s v imprud5tly2 & to call _! conduct #8imprud5t' is really treat+ x ) ! greate/ l5i5cy1 = ,i h (t5 be5 q %ock$ at ! way 9 :i* "s ( ! bre?r5 & si/]s act$4 ,b ,i w tell y a little ab\t x1 & y %all judge = y\rself4 8,:5 ,i f\nd out1 z ,i _h long suspect$1 t de> papa 0 go+ to m>ry aga91 ,i at once resolv$ t ,i w\ld no long] be a burd5 to him1 b w\ld f9d "s employm5t1 & support myself4 ,i 0 induc$ to d ?is1 p>tly because z y "k1 /ep-mo!rs & daught]s d n always love ea* o!r q z mu* z !y might4 ,s ,i communicat$ my wi%es to papa1 & told him t ,i _h be5 introduc$ to a v nice lady1 :o _h a l>ge dressmak+ e/abli%m5t at ! we/ end ( ,london4 ,%e is a memb] ( ! ,*ur*1 & has always be5 v highly spok5 (4 ,i told him t %e employ$ a numb] ( highly respectable "y girls1 & t f\r1 at lea/1 ( !m 7 memb]s ( ! ,*ur*1 & t1 9 consid]ation ( my lonely situation1 & at ! e>ne/ reque/ ( ,eld] ,%rewsbury1 %e 0 will+ to take me into h] h\se1 to bo>d & lodge me1 & tea* me ! bus9ess ?or\ghly1 if my fa!r w\ld pay h] a premium ( fifty p\nds4 8,?is papa readily agre$ to d1 z ,i expect$ he w\ld1 = he is s tak5 up ) my /ep-mamma t is to be2 & beside :i* he has1 ,i "k1 be5 un=tunate lately 9 "s railway speculations1 & has lo/ a great deal ( money1 & !re=e wi%es to economize4 ,9 ?is way ,i w5t to ,london1 & became a memb] ( ,mrs4 ,elswor?'s family--& "h ,i am /ill4 8,n[ y h be5 9 ,london1 ,si/] ,/5h\se1 & mu/ rememb] #8! (fice' 9 ,jew9 ,/reet--! head-qu>t]s :]e all ! eld]s congregate1 & :]e ! ,am]ican eld]s bo>d1 & *ur* bus9ess is manag$4 ,well1 ! v fir/ week ,i 0 at ,mrs4 ,elswor?'s ,i notic$ t ! f\r "y si/]s :o 7 work+ !re 7 con/antly talk+ ( ,jew9 ,/reet1 & ! de> ,am]ican bre?r5 :o 7 /opp+ !re4 ,"o ( !m 9 p>ticul> 0 always talk+ ab\t de> ,eld] ,sn[2 & ano!r girl :isp]$ to me t %e w5t to ,jew9 ,/reet e ev5+1 & frequ5tly rema9$ !re to tea ) him1 & w5t aft]w>ds to ! !atre ) him1 or to a meet+1 z ! case might be2 & ! "y lady add$1 #8,%e does make su* a fuss ov] him1 toy+ ) him1 & bru%+ & comb+ 8 hair4 ,i "k t %e does x1 = ,i h be5 !re ) h]1 & h se5 h] d x2 & he appe>s to enjoy x q z mu* z %e does2 & ,i believe1 if ,polygamy 0 true he w\ld m>ry h]4' 8#8,b1' ,i said1 #8x is n true1 & !re=e x is v wrong = h] to act 9 t way1 = he is a m>ri$ man4' 8#8,oh1 b y "k1' %e answ]$1 #8t we are all bro!rs & si/]s1 & ! bre?r5 tell u t ^? little att5tions make !m feel t !y are n s f> f home1 & !y are ?us enabl$ to p]=m _! mission bett]2 & if t is s1 x is ! duty ( ! "y si/]s to enc\rage !m4 ,^! little att5tions co/ no?+1 & ,i'm sure x's q a pleasure to me4' 8#8,!n y g to ,jew9 ,/reet8' ,i ask$4 8#8,yes1' %e said1 #8sometimes1 b n v (t51 = my eld] calls "h frequ5tly1 z he is acqua9t$ ) ,mrs4 ,elswor?2 & !n ,i take my "w up into ! p>l\r sometimes1 & h a long talk ) him4 ,mrs4 ,elswor? does n l x1 ,i "k1 b %e does n c>e to oppose ! eld]s2--9 fact1 h] husb& w n all[ any su* ?+--he has d>$ h] to d s4 ,aft] all1 %e is v silly1 = we ought to love ea* o!r & be free & fri5dly4 ,my eld]--,i call him my eld]1 y "k1 simply because ,i l him bett] ?an ! o!rs--calls ,mrs4 ,elswor? #8,g5tili%1' & says %e'll get ov] x :5 %e goes to ,zion4 ,b %e says %e won't4 ,%e is awfully jeal\s ( h] husb& & a c]ta9 ,miss ,c>ol9e somebody1 ?\gh %e doesn't c>e = him4' 8#8,b :at diff]5ce c x make to him8' ,i ask$ h]4 #8,he has a wife1 & ought n to pay att5tion to any o!r woman4' 8#8,ah1 y silly *ild1' %e said1 #8x is only bro!rly love1 aft] all1 & m5 (t5 h wives :o d n make !m happy1 & t makes !m seek ! society ( ! "y si/]s1 = ^? :o are f> f home are lonely4 ,my own eld]'s wife is "h 9 ,london1 b he isn't mu* ) h]4 ,he sp5ds ne>ly all 8 "t 9 ,jew9 ,/reet2 he is a travell+ ,eld]1 & :5 he is go+ any:]e to prea* he always calls = me1 z he does n l go+ alone1 he is su* a g5ial s\l4 ,if ,polygamy 7 true1 ,i'd promise to m>ry him :5 we rea*$ ! ,valley4' 8,!n ,i ask$ :y 8 wife didn't g ) him2 & %e said1 #8,oh1 poor man6 he has no pleasure 9 h] society4 ,%e is always mop+ & unhappy4 ,y "k1 "s wom5 are naturally s4 ,i d all ,i c to make him feel well1 = x mu/ be awful to be m>ri$ to a woman :o is always sad4' 8,i ask$ h] :y 8 wife %\ld be s unhappy2 & %e said1 #8,he tells me t %e has got x into h] head t someh[ or o!r ,polygamy is practis$ 9 ,zion2 & ,i'm sure ,i1 = "o1 wi% x 0 s1 = !n we c\ld m>ry :oev] we pleas$4' 8#8,oh1 = %ame6' ,i said4 #8,i'm sure ,i'd nev] g !re1 if ,i ?\ght s4' 8,!n ,i ask$ h] :e!r %e did n ?9k x 0 wrong = h] to enc\rage ! att5tions ( h] eld]2 & %e said1 #8,he wi%es x j z mu* z ,i d2 & 8 wife _h bett] behave h]self1 or ,i'll m>ry him :e!r ,polygamy exi/s or n 9 ,zion2 & he does n "k1 ?\gh we bo? suspect1 t !re is some?+ 9 ! rum\rs :i* we h he>d4' ,!n ,i told h] ,i ?\ght x 0 v wick$ to enc\rage ! visits ( t man2 = ,i believe t if he paid a little m att5tion to 8 wife %e w\ld be less unhappy--= ,i suppose %e knew ( 8 att5tions to h]4 8,%e said ! wife knew no?+ ab\t x2 t he 0 oblig$ to be out late at night1 prea*+1 or at ,jew9 ,/reet--:i* ,i knew meant flirt+ ) ! si/]s & go+ to ! !atre2 & ,i fancy he does m ( t ?an prea*+4 ,b %e seem$ to ?9k x 0 all ! wife's fault1 & blam$ h]4 ,i ask$ h] if %e w\ld l to be treat$ s1 if %e 7 an ,eld]'s wife1 & _h to "w z h>d & endure z mu* z all ! ,mission>ies' wives d4 ,b %e said %e nev] c\ld be 9 su* a position1 & told me t ,i 0 n a good ,mormon or ,i w\ld n set myself up z ! accus] ( ! bre?r54 ,b ,i ask y1 ,si/] ,/5h\se1 if t is ! ,mormonism :i* ! eld]s us$ to tea* u8 8,& n[ ,i h told y all our long talk toge!r1 & s y c judge = y\rself :at a *ange has tak5 place s9ce y left4 8,! same day1 aft] d9n]1 ,bro!r ,sn[ call$1 9 company ) two o!r eld]s1 to see ,mrs4 ,elswor?1 & to ask h] & ! girls to a tea-p>ty ! next day4 ,mrs4 ,elswor? decl9$2 b "o "y lady w\ld g ) ,bro!r ,sn[1 & ,miss ,c>ol9e w5t ) ano!r eld]2 & my light-he>t$ fri5d wait$ till h] ,eld] came also to ask h]4 ,aft] t1 came ,eld] ,%rewsbury1 & ,i1 ( c\rse1 0 to g ) him4 8,) all my fai?1 ,i am v mu* tr\bl$ ab\t ^! ?+s4 ,!y are n "r1 ,i ?9k4 ,:y1 sc>cely a day passes b "s ( ^! eld]s1 :o appe> to h v little to d1 call "h1 & s5d = "o or two ( ^! "y si/]s1 & deta9 !m f _! "w1 mu* to ! annoyance ( poor ,mrs4 ,elswor?1 :o1 ,i believe1 w apo/atize ov] x ev5tually4 8,see :at a long lett] ,i h writt5 to y6 ,i am afraid x w tire y4 ,i (t5 long to h y "h1 t ,i might come to y & tell y all my tr\bles4 ,b p]haps aft] all ,i am wrong1 & ought to see ?+s 9 a diff]5t light4 ,h n ! ,eld]s & ,apo/les positively d5i$ t ,polygamy or any o!r s9 0 practis$ 9 ,utah1 or =m$ any "p ( ! ,mormon religion8 & we "k t ^! m5 ( ,god w\ld n deceive u4 8,be sure1 de>1 to write a nice long lett] to me v soon2 &1 ) fonde/ love1 rememb] y\r own 8,,m>y ,,burton40 ,i read ?is lett] c>efully ?r\gh1 & ,i sat d[n & ?\ght ( de> ,m>y ,burton1 & felt deeply sorry t %e %\ld be plac$ 9 a situation surr\nd$ by s _m temptations4 ,to myself ! lett] br\ght a sad confirmation ( all my fe>s4 ,!re 0 some?+ pa9ful 9 ! ?\ght4 ,_h ,polygamy be5 op5ly av[$ z a ,mormon doctr9e1 ,i %\ld nev] h jo9$ ! ,*ur*4 ,b n[1 :at c\ld ,i d8 ,aft] ?ree mon?s' abs5ce1 ,mr4 ,/5h\se 0 to return home1 & ,i w5t to ,g5eva to meet him1 feel+ v happy :5 ,i saw him once aga94 ,numb]s ( p]sons1 bo? 9 ,g5eva & ,lausanne _h be5 conv]t$ :ile he 0 away1 & 7 wait+ = him to baptize !m--among !m 0 a retir$ ,prote/ant m9i/]1 ,monsieur ,petitpi]re1 ( :om ,i h some?+ yet to m5tion4 ,we began at la/ to rejoice 9 our success1 & to be ?ankful t ! ,"l _h answ]$ our pray]s4 ,i 0 n[ m ?an ev] anxi\s ab\t ,polygamy4 ,f mu* ?9k+ on t subject1 x _h become ! haunt+ spectre ( my exi/5ce1 & ,i dread$ :at e day might br+ =?4 ,! news :i* my husb& br\ght ) him by no means reassur$ me4 ,he told me t he _h he>d 9 ,engl& f ! ,am]ican ,eld]s t !re 0 a g5]al expectation among ! ,sa9ts 9 ,utah t at ! ,octob] ,conf]5ce 9 ,salt ,lake ,city1 ,brigham ,"y w\ld publi% to ! _w t ,polygamy 0 a doctr9e ( ! ,mormon ,*ur*4 ,aft] all ! prev>ications & d5ials !n ( ! ,apo/les & ,eld]s1 ,polygamy among ! ,sa9ts 0 really a fact4 ,z ! tru? became cle>] to my m9d1 ,i ?\ght ,i %\ld lose my s5ses4 ,! v f\ndations ( my fai? 7 %ak51 & n only did ,i feel a p]sonal repugnance to ! unholy doctr9e1 b ,i began to realize t ! m5 to :om ,i _h li/5$ ) su* pr(\nd respect1 & _h reg>d$ z ! repres5tatives ( ,god1 _h be5 guilty ( ! mo/ delib]ate & unblu%+ falsehood2 & ,i began to ask myself :e!r1 if !y c\ld d ?is 9 ord] to c>ry out _! purpose 9 "o p>ticul>1 !y might n be guilty ( deception ^u o!r po9ts8 ,:o c\ld ,i tru/ n[8 ,= t5 ye>s ! ,mormon ,prophets & ,apo/les _h be5 liv+ 9 ,polygamy at home1 :ile abroad !y vehem5tly d5i$ x1 & spoke ( x z a deadly s94 ,?is 0 a pa9ful awak5+ to me2 we _h all ( u be5 betray$4 ,i lo/ confid5ce 9 man1 & almo/ began to "q )9 myself :e!r ,i c\ld ev5 tru/ 9 ,god4 ,!re 0 no argum5t betwe5 ,mr4 ,/5h\se & myself4 ,x w\ld h be5 worse ?an useless1 = x 0 n 8 do+1 & he assur$ me t he _h z great a repugnance to ! doctr9e z ,i _h4 ,he _h at fir/ only h9t$ t x might ev5tually be ackn[l$g$ by ! lead]s ( ! ,*ur*2 b x 0 a matt] ( too deeply a p]sonal "* = me to keep sil5ce1 & ,i did n re/ until he _h told me all4 ,he _h n se5 ! revelation1 b ! in=mation :i* he _h receiv$ 0 beyond a "q2 & s+ul>ly en\gh ,eld] ,m>getts1 ! ,london ,eld] ( ^: flirtation 9 ,s\?ampton ,i h already spok51 0 at t "t on a visit to ,switz]l&1 & confirm$ all t my husb& _h said4 ,?us ! v man :o1 two ye>s be=e1 fir/ excit$ my suspicions1 n[ confirm$ my fe>s1 & op5ly /at$ z a fact t :i* he !n 0 a%am$ almo/ to sugge/4 ,eld] ,m>getts _h be5 9 ,utah f ! "t ,i saw him 9 ,engl&1 & 0 n[ on a mission to ,italy4 ,he knew1 !re=e1 v well :at 0 said & done among ! ,sa9ts 9 ,zion4 ,i1 & ^? l me1 ^: fai? 0 n too /rong1 7 spok5 ( z 8babes0 to :om milk only mu/ be giv52 & 9 ?is way any deception necess>y to quiet our t5d] consci5ces 0 all[able2 b ,eld] ,m>getts 0 "o ( ! 8/rong m510 to :om meat 0 necess>y--9 o!r words1 !y 7 initiat$ into all ! my/]ies ( ! fai?4 ,my husb& enjo9$ me n to speak ( :at ,i _h he>d1 & ,i felt v little incl9ation to d s--my he>t 0 too full4 ,! pleasant dreams & hopes ( life 7 end$ n[ to me4 ,:at c\ld ,i look =w>d too8 ,h5ce=? ! /]n realities ( a lonely & we>y exi/5ce 7 all ! future t %\ld be m9e4 ,/ill1 ! 8,revelation0 sanction+ a *ange 9 ! doctr9es & practice ( ! *ur*1 0 n yet publi%$2 & until polygamy 0 op5ly av[$ ,i felt t ! doom ( my happ9ess 0 n yet seal$2 & l _m ano!r he>t-brok5 woman1 ,i hop$ aga9/ hope4 ,,*apt] ,,viii4 ,,! ,,revelation ,,on 8,,cele/ial ,,m>riage40 ,& "t flew by2 & at l5g? ! dread$ ,revelation came4 ,"o v pleasant morn+1 e>ly 9 ,janu>y1 #ahec1 two ,eld]s ( ! ,italian ,mission1 ,jabez ,woodw>d & ,?omas ,m>getts1 took breakfa/ ) u2 & ) !m also 0 ,mons4 ,petitpi]re f ,g5eva1 ! ,prote/ant m9i/] ( :om ,i h already spok54 ,:ile ,i 0 busy prep>+ ! meal1 ,mr ,/5h\se & ! two ,engli% eld]s w5t to ! po/ (fice to get _! lett]s1 = at t "t !y 7 expect+ important news4 ,:5 !y return$1 breakfa/ 0 q ready1 & !y took _! seats at ! table4 ,i ask$ if !re 7 any lett]s f ,engl&2 & my husb& said1 8,no1 no lett]s2 b !re is a ,/>1 & x conta9s ! ,revelation on ,polygamy40 ,he h&$ me a copy ( ! ,mill5nial ,/>1 a ,mormon pap] publi%$ 9 ,liv]pool2 & z ,i took x1 ,i felt z if ,i 7 receiv+ my dea?-w>rant4 ,x 0 inde$ ! dea?-w>rant to all my hopes ( happ9ess4 ,i rose f ! table1 ask+ !m to excuse me2 & ov]come ) agitation & conflict+ emotions1 ,i retir$ to my own *amb]4 ,!re1 = ! fir/ "t1 ,i read t docum5t :i* has s9ce br\ght su* sorr[ & mis]y to s _m wrong$ & he>t-brok5 wom54 ,! read] may p]haps l to see ! only f\ndation & au?ority = ! practice ( polygamy ev] produc$ by ! ,mormon lead]s4 ,s ,i copy exactly f ! ,mill5nial ,/> :at ,i !n read1 leav+ out only a few l9es "h & !re1 :i* _h no special ref]5ce to ! subject1 b help$ to swell ! size ( ! 8,revelation30-- ,,cele/ial ,,m>riage3 ,a ,,revelation ,,on ,,! ,,patri>*al ,,ord] ,,( ,,matrimony1 ,,or ,,plurality ,,( ,,wives4 ,giv5 to ,joseph ,smi?1 ! ,se]1 9 ,nauvoo1 ,july #ab?1 #ahdc4 #a4 ,v]ily1 ?us sai? ! ,"l1 unto y1 my s]vant ,joseph1 t inasmu* z y h inquir$ ( my h&1 to "k & und]/& :]e9 ,i1 ! ,"l1 ju/ifi$ my s]vants1 ,abraham1 ,isaac1 & ,jacob2 z also ,moses1 ,david1 & ,solomon1 my s]vants1 z t\*+ ! pr9ciple & doctr9e ( _! hav+ _m wives & concub9es3 ,behold6 & lo1 ,i am ! ,"l ?y ,god1 & w answ] !e z t\*+ ?is matt]3 ,!re=e prep>e ?y he>t to receive & obey ! in/ructions :i* ,i am ab\t to give unto y2 = all ^? :o h ?is law reveal$ unto !m mu/ obey ! same2 = behold6 ,i reveal unto y a new & ev]la/+ cov5ant1 & if ye abide n t cov5ant1 !n are ye damn$2 = no "o c reject ?is cov5ant1 & be p]mitt$ to ent] into my glory2 = all :o w h a bless+ at my h&s %all abide ! law :i* is appo9t$ = t bless+ & ! conditions !re(1 z 0 in/itut$ f be=e ! f\ndations ( ! _w3 & z p]ta9+ to ! new & ev]la/+ cov5ant1 x 0 in/itut$ = ! fulness ( my glory2 & he t receive? a fulness !re(1 mu/ & %all abide ! law1 or he %all be damn$1 sai? ! ,"l ,god4 #b4 ,& v]ily ,i say unto y1 t ! conditions ( ?is law are ^!3 ,all cov5ants1 contracts1 bonds1 obligations1 oa?s1 v[s1 p]=mances1 connexions1 associations1 or expectations1 t are n made or ent]$ into1 & seal$1 by ! ,holy ,_s ( promise1 ( him :o is ano9t$ bo? z well = "t & = all et]nity1 & t too mo/ holy1 by revelation & comm&m5t1 ?r\gh ! m$ium ( m9e ano9t$1 :om ,i h appo9t$ on ! e>? to hold ?is p[] 7& ,i h appo9t$ unto my s]vant ,joseph to hold ?is p[] 9 ! la/ days2 & !re is nev] b "o on ! e>? at a "t on :om ?is p[] & ! keys ( ! prie/hood are conf]r$71 are ( no efficacy1 virtue1 or =ce1 9 & aft] ! resurrection f ! dead3 = all contracts t are n made unto ?is end1 h an end :5 m5 are dead4 444 #d4 ,!re=e1 if a man m>ry him a wife 9 ! _w1 & he m>ry h] n by me1 nor by my ^w2 & he cov5ant ) h] s long z he is 9 ! _w1 & %e ) him1 _! cov5ant & m>riage is n ( =ce :5 !y are dead1 & :5 !y are out ( ! _w2 !re=e !y are n b\nd by any law :5 !y are out ( ! _w2 !re=e1 :5 !y are out ( ! _w1 !y nei!r m>ry1 nor are giv5 9 m>riage1 b are appo9t$ angels 9 heav51 :i* angels are m9i/]+ s]vants1 to m9i/] = ^? :o are wor?y ( a f> m1 & an exce$+1 & an et]nal weight ( glory2 = ^! angels did n abide my law1 !re=e !y _c be enl>g$1 b rema9 sep>ately & s+ly1 )\t exaltation1 9 _! sav$ condition1 to all et]nity1 & f h5ce=? are n gods1 b are angels ( ,god = ev] & ev]4 #e4 ,& aga91 v]ily ,i say unto y1 if a man m>ry a wife1 & make a cov5ant ) h] = "t1 & = all et]nity1 if t cov5ant is n by me1 or by my ^w1 :i* is my law1 & is n seal$ by ! ,holy ,_s ( promise1 ?r\gh him :om ,i h ano9t$ & appo9t$ unto ?is p[]1 !n x is n valid1 nei!r ( =ce1 :5 !y are out ( ! _w1 because !y are n jo9$ by me1 sai? ! ,"l1 nei!r by my ^w2 :5 !y are out ( ! _w1 x _c be receiv$ !re1 because ! angels & ! gods are appo9t$ !re1 by :om !y _c pass2 !y _c1 !re=e1 inh]it my glory1 = my h\se is a h\se ( ord]1 sai? ! ,"l ,god4 #f4 ,& aga91 v]ily ,i say unto y1 if a man m>ry a wife by my ^w1 :i* is my law1 & by ! new & ev]la/+ cov5ant1 & x is seal$ unto !m by ! ,holy ,_s ( promise1 by him :o is ano9t$1 unto :om ,i h appo9t$ ?is p[]1 & ! keys ( ?is prie/hood1 & x %all be said unto !m1 ,ye %all come =? 9 ! fir/ resurrection2 & if x be aft] ! fir/ resurrection1 9 ! next resurrection2 & %all inh]it ?rones1 k+doms1 pr9cipalities1 & p[]s1 dom9ions1 all heights & dep?s--!n %all x be writt5 9 ! ,lamb's ,book ( ,life1 t he %all commit no murd] :]eby to %$ innoc5t blood2 & if ye abide 9 my cov5ant & commit no murd] :]eby to %$ innoc5t blood1 x %all be done unto !m 9 all ?+s :atsoev] my s]vant ha? put ^u !m1 9 "t1 & ?r\gh all et]nity1 & %all be ( full =ce :5 !y are out ( ! _w2 & !y %all pass by ! angels1 & ! gods1 :i* are set !re1 to _! exaltation & glory 9 all ?+s1 z ha? be5 seal$ ^u _! heads1 :i* glory %all be a fulness & a cont9uation ( ! se$s = ev] & ev]4 #g4 ,!n %all !y be gods1 because !y h no end2 !re=e %all !y be f ev]la/+ to ev]la/+1 because !y cont9ue2 !n %all !y be above all1 because all ?+s are subject unto !m4 ,!n %all !y be gods1 because !y h all p[]1 & ! angels are subject unto !m4 444 #i4 ,v]ily1 v]ily ,i say unto y1 if a man m>ry a wife accord+ to my ^w1 & !y are seal$ by ! ,holy ,_s ( promise1 accord+ to m9e appo9tm5t1 & he or %e %all commit any s9 or transgression ( ! new & ev]la/+ cov5ant :atev]1 & all mann] ( blasphemies1 & if !y commit no murd]1 :]e9 !y %$ innoc5t blood--yet !y %all come =? 9 ! fir/ resurrection1 & ent] into _! exaltation1 b !y %all be de/roy$ 9 ! fle%1 & %all be deliv]$ unto ! buffet+s ( ,satan1 unto ! day ( r$emption1 sai? ! ,"l ,god4 #aj4 ,! blasphemy aga9/ ! ,holy ,gho/1 :i* %all n be =giv5 9 ?is _w1 nor out ( ! _w1 is 9 t ye commit murd]1 :]e9 ye %$ innoc5t blood1 & ass5t unto my dea?1 aft] ye h receiv$ my new & ev]la/+ cov5ant1 sai? ! ,"l ,god2 & he t abide? n ?is law c 9 no wise ent] into my glory1 b %all be damn$1 sai? ! ,"l4 444 #ac4 ,god comm&$ ,abraham1 & ,s>ah gave ,hag> to ,abraham1 to wife4 ,& :y did %e d x8 ,because ?is 0 ! law4 ,& f ,hag> sprang _m p4 ,?is1 !re=e1 0 fulfill+1 among o!r ?+s1 ! promises4 ,0 ,abraham1 !re=e1 "u condemnation8 ,v]ily1 ,i say unto y1 ,nay2 = ,i1 ! ,"l1 comm&$ x4 ,abraham 0 comm&$ to (f] 8 son ,isaac2 nev]!less1 x 0 writt51 ,?\ %alt n kill4 ,abraham1 h[ev]1 did n refuse1 & x 0 acc\nt$ to him = righte\sness4 #ad4 ,abraham receiv$ concub9es1 & !y b>e him *ildr51 & x 0 acc\nt$ unto him = righte\sness1 because !y 7 giv5 unto him1 & he abode 9 my law4 ,z ,isaac also & ,jacob did none o!r ?+s ?an t :i* !y 7 comm&$1 !y h ent]$ into _! exaltation1 accord+ to ! promises1 & sit ^u ?rones2 & are n angels1 b are gods4 ,david also receiv$ _m wives & concub9es1 z also ,solomon1 & ,moses my s]vant2 z also _m o!rs ( my s]vants1 f ! beg9n+ ( ! creation until ?is "t2 & 9 no?+ did !y s91 save 9 ^? ?+s :i* !y receiv$ n ( me4 #ae4 ,david's wives & concub9es 7 giv5 unto him ( me1 by ! h& ( ,na?an1 my s]vant1 & o!rs ( ! prophets :o _h ! keys ( ?is p[]2 & 9 none ( ^! ?+s did he s9 aga9/ me1 save 9 ! case ( ,uriah & 8 wife2 & !re=e1 he ha? fall5 f 8 exaltation1 & receiv$ 8 portion2 & he %all n inh]it !m out ( ! _w2 = ,i gave !m unto ano!r1 sai? ! ,"l4 #af4 ,i am ! ,"l ?y ,god1 & ,i gave unto !e1 my s]vant ,joseph1 an appo9tm5t1 & re/ore all ?+s4444 ,i h conf]r$ ^u y ! keys & p[] ( ! prie/hood1 :]e9 ,i re/ore all ?+s1 & make kn[n unto y all ?+s1 9 due "t4 #ag4 ,& v]ily1 v]ily ,i say unto y1 t :osoev] y seal on e>? %all be seal$ 9 heav52 & :atsoev] y b9d on e>?1 9 my "n1 & by my ^w1 sai? ! ,"l1 if %all be et]nally b\nd 9 ! heav5s2 & :osoev] s9s y remit on e>? %all be remitt$ et]nally 9 ! heav5s2 & :osesoev] s9s y reta9 on e>? %all be reta9$ 9 heav54 #ah4 ,& aga91 v]ily ,i say1 :omsoev] y bless ,i w bless1 & :omsoev] y curse ,i w curse1 sai? ! ,"l2 = ,i1 ! ,"l1 am ?y ,god4 #ai4 ,& aga91 v]ily ,i say unto y1 my s]vant ,joseph1 t :atsoev] y give on e>?1 & to :omsoev] y give any "o on e>?1 by my ^w1 & accord+ to my law1 x %all be visit$ ) bless+s4 444 #bj4 ,v]ily ,i say unto y1 a comm&m5t ,i give unto m9e h&maid ,emma ,smi?1 y\r wife 444 let m9e h&maid ,emma ,smi? receive all ^? t h be5 giv5 unto my s]vant ,joseph1 & :o are virtu\s & pure be=e me2 & ^? :o are n pure1 & h said !y 7 pure1 %all be de/roy$1 sai? ! ,"l ,god6444 ,i give unto my s]vant ,joseph1 t he %all be made rul] ov] _m ?+s1 = he ha? be5 fai?ful ov] a few ?+s1 & f h5ce=? ,i w /r5g!n him4 #ba4 ,& ,i comm& m9e h&maid ,emma ,smi? to abide & cleave unto my s]vant ,joseph1 & to none else4 ,b if %e w n abide ?is comm&m5t1 %e %all be de/roy$1 sai? ! ,"l2 = ,i am ! ,"l ?y ,god1 & w de/roy h] if %e abide n 9 my law2 b if %e w n abide ?is comm&m5t1 !n %all my s]vant ,joseph d all ?+s = h]1 ev5 z he ha? said2 & ,i w bless him1 & multiply him1 & give unto him a hundr$fold 9 ?is _w1 ( fa!rs & mo!rs1 bro!rs & si/]s1 h\ses & l&s1 wives & *ildr51 & cr[ns ( et]nal lives 9 ! et]nal worlds4 ,& aga91 v]ily ,i say1 let m9e h&maid =give my s]vant ,joseph 8 trespasses1 & !n %all %e be =giv5 h] trespasses1 :]e9 %e has trespass$ aga9/ me2 & ,i1 ! ,"l ?y ,god1 w bless h]1 & multiply h]1 & make h] he>t to rejoice4 444 #bd4 ,& aga91 z p]ta9+ to ! law ( ! prie/hood3 ,if any man esp\se a virg91 & desire to esp\se ano!r1 & ! fir/ give h] cons5t2 & if he esp\se ! second1 & !y are virg9s1 & h v[$ to no o!r man1 !n is he ju/ifi$4 ,he _c commit adult]y1 = !y are giv5 him2 = he _c commit adult]y ) t t belonge? unto him1 & to none else2 & if he h t5 virg9s giv5 unto him by ?is law1 he _c commit adult]y1 = !y belong to him2 & !y are giv5 unto him--!re=e is he ju/ifi$4 ,b if "o or o!r ( ! t5 virg9s1 aft] %e is esp\s$1 %all be ) ano!r man1 %e has committ$ adult]y1 & %all be de/roy$2 = !y are giv5 unto him to multiply & repl5i% ! e>?1 accord+ to my comm&m5t1 & to fulfil ! promise :i* 0 giv5 by my ,fa!r be=e ! f\ndation ( ! _w2 & = _! exaltation 9 ! et]nal worlds1 t !y may be> ! s\ls ( m52 = h]e9 is ! "w ( my ,fa!r cont9u$1 t he may be glorifi$4 #be4 ,& aga91 v]ily1 v]ily ,i say unto y1 if any man has a wife :o holds ! keys ( ?is p[]1 & he tea*es unto h] ! law ( my prie/hood1 z p]ta9+ to ^! ?+s1 !n %all %e believe & adm9i/] unto him1 or %e %all be de/roy$1 sai? ! ,"l y\r ,god2 = ,i w de/roy h]2 = ,i w magnify my "n ^u all ^? :o receive & abide 9 my law4 ,!re=e x %all be lawful 9 me1 if %e receive n ?is law1 = him to receive all ?+s :atsoev] ,i1 ! ,"l 8 ,god1 w give unto him1 because %e did n believe & adm9i/] unto him1 accord+ to my ^w2 & %e !n becomes ! transgressor1 & he is exempt f ! law ( ,s>ah1 :o adm9i/]$ unto ,abraham accord+ to ! law1 :5 ,i comm&$ ,abraham to take ,hag> to wife4 ,& n[1 z p]ta9+ to ?is law3 ,v]ily1 v]ily ,i say unto y1 ,i w reveal m unto y h]eaft]2 !re=e1 let ?is suffice = ! pres5t4 ,behold1 ,i am ,alpha & ,omega4 ,am54444 ,& ?is 0 ! ,revelation6--?is mass ( confusion1 cunn+ absurdity1 & falsehood4 ,?is 0 ! celebrat$ docum5t :i* 0 h5ce=? to be law to ! confid+ m5 & wom5 :o _h embrac$ ,mormonism6 ,look+ at x n[--not+ its inconsi/5cies & its flagrant outrage ^u common dec5cy & morality1 ,i c h>dly cr$it t ,i %\ld ev] h be5 su* a silly dupe z to give x a second ?\ght4 ,& yet1 :at c\ld ,i d8 ,i 0 b\nd h& & foot1 z x 71 & my v vision itself 0 di/ort$4 ,unque/ion+ ob$i5ce1 we _h be5 taught1 0 ! highe/ virtue2 rebellion 0 z ! s9 ( wit*craft4 ,i _h be5 conv9c$ ( ! tru? ( "s ( ! t5ets ( ! ,mormon fai?2 & confid5t 9 !m1 ,i accept$ )\t "q all ! re/4 ,nev]1 till ! possibility t polygamy might "s day be ackn[l$g$ by ! ,*ur*1 began to be :isp]$ among ! ,sa9ts--nev] did a solit>y d\bt respect+ my religion intrude itself ^u my m9d2 & aft] my appreh5sions 7 fairly ar\s$ by ^? rum\rs1 :5ev] ,i felt ! fa9te/ %ad[ ( unbelief or suspicion aris+ 9 my he>t1 ,i bani%$ x z an unholy ?+4 ,! "t _h n yet come :5 ,i c\ld judge dispassionately3 ! ,revelation ar\s$ )9 me feel+s ( horror & dismay1 b ,i did n d>e to "q its au!nticity4 ,x br\ght bitt]ness to my s\l1 b ,i believ$ x 0 f ,god1 & t ,i mu/ le>n to be> ! cross pati5tly4 ,i did n at t "t read ! docum5t ?r\gh f beg9n+ to end4 ,no2 my indignation 0 su* t be=e ,i _h read half ( x ,i ?rew x f me 9 ang]4 ,p]haps if ,i _h read x all1 & consid]$ x c>efully1 my own judgm5t & my s5se ( "r & wrong might h po9t$ out its absurdity & wick$ness4 ,b ,i 0 f> f be+ tranquil en\gh to ?9k calmly4 ,i felt bitt]ly t ?is new doctr9e 0 a degradation to woman1 & ,i wond]$ :y ,god %\ld see fit to humiliate my sex 9 ?is way4 ,i 0 will+ to devote myself1 my life1 my all to ,8 s]vice1 b :]e=e %\ld ,he doom me to ev]la/+ sorr[8 ,:at n[ 0 to be a woman's lot among ! ,mormons8 ,a life )\t hope6 ,:o c express ! t]rible mean+ ( ^? words--)\t hope8 ,yet s x 04 ,h]eaft] our he>ts 7 to be daily & h\rly trampl$ ^u2 ! mo/ sacr$ feel+s ( our sex 7 to be outrag$1 our affections 7 to be cru%$4 ,h5ce=? we 7 to be no?+ by ourselves2 )\t a husb&1 we 7 told1 we c\ld n ev5 ent] heav56 ,b _h our trials be5 limit$ to ?is life we might h borne !m1 z _m a we>y s\l has done1 wait+ = ! relief ( dea?4 ,b dea? 0 to br+ no hope to u2 we 7 told t 9 ! o!r _w polygamy %\ld be ! only ord] ( m>riage1 & t )\t x none c\ld be exalt$ 9 glory4 ,we 7 told ^! ?+s by m5 :o we believ$ 7 true & holy m5 ( ,god2 & we tru/$ 9 !m4 ,rebelli\s ,i felt1 inde$1 z ,i pac$ ! room aft] ,i _h ?r[n ! ,revelation on ! gr\nd3 ,i almo/ felt z if ,i %\ld lose my reason4 ,a woman 9 ! "t ( tr\ble always looks to "s "o 9 :om %e c confide2 b to :om c\ld ,i turn = "o k9d or *e]+ ^w8 :o w\ld com=t me8 ,i _h nei!r relation nor fri5d to :om ,i c\ld speak ( ?is trial2 !re 0 no "o :o c\ld und]/& me4 ,i c\ld n turn to my husb& 9 ?is sorr[1 & ,i d>$ n ev5 kneel to my ,god to implore ,8 aid4 ,x 0 ,he1 !y said1 :o _h decl>$ ?is ,revelation 0 ,8 w2 h[ !n c\ld ,i turn to ,him8 ,no2 my he>t sank )9 me2 h5ce=? !re 0 to be no hope1 no peace1 = me6 ,!re 0 a knock at my *amb] door1 & my husb& came 94 ,he knew h[ acutely ,i mu/ feel1 & he came to com=t me4 ,i 0 almo/ *ok$ ) emotion & te>s1 b he ?rew 8 arms r\nd me t5d]ly1 & spoke to me z if ,i _h be5 a *ild t ne$$ consolation4 ,he tri$ to p]suade me t ,god z a lov+ ,fa!r c\ld nev] h int5d$ ! pa9 or mis]y ( ,8 *ildr51 & t :5 we came to und]/& ! doctr9e bett]1 we %\ld f9d t all w\ld be well4 ,he spoke also ( 8 own un*ang+ atta*m5t2 & appeal$ to me :e!r ,i ?\ght he c\ld ev] love me less1 or place 8 affections on ano!r4 ,i tri$ to believe1 & :5 ,i felt a little bett] ,i w5t ) him to ! breakfa/-room1 :]e ! o!rs 7 wait+ = u4 ,we 7 n a v ent]ta9+ p>ty t morn+4 ,! ,eld]s pres5t ( c\rse knew :at _h kept me 9 my room1 & _! attempt at *e]fulness 0 n v successful4 ,my husb& 0 9 sympa?y ) me1 & ,i h no d\bt t ,i look$ sad en\gh4 ,!re 0 only "o p]son pres5t :o did n appreciate ! situation--,monsieur ,petitpi]re1 ! ,prote/ant m9i/]--& !y h&$ ! ,revelation to him4 ,mr4 ,/5h\se & ! o!r ,eld]s _h "s misgiv+s z to h[ he w\ld receive x1 & !y 7 afraid x might disgu/ him ) ,mormonism4 ,b ! old g5tleman /ood ! te/ bravely2 & ,i saw !n1 z ,i h se5 s9ce1 t m5 c be easily satisfi$ t ! ,revelation on ,polygamy1 or any o!r revelation1 is div9e1 if !y desire1 x to be s4 ,"h 0 old ,monsieur ,petitpi]re1 a man ( m ?an ?reescore ye>s1 & *ildless4 ,to him ! example ( ,abraham & ,solomon appe>$ mo/ in/ructive--an example :i* might be foll[$ ) advantage4 ,8 wife1 l ,s>ah ( old1 _h nev] be5 call$ by a "m's "n2 & n[1 al?\gh ?us f> he _h no idea :o might act ! "p ( a second ,hag>1 !re seem$ a fair *ance t a little ,i%mael might p]petuate ! race ( ,petitpi]res on e>?1 if only ! ,revelation 0 act$ ^u by ! fai?ful4 8,x ought to be pray]fully ?\ght (10 he said4 ,pray]fully ?\ght (6 ,poor1 silly old man6 ,be=e !n ,i _h respect = 8 ye>s & le>n+2 b n[--:at c\ld ,i ?9k ( a man :o talk$ su* nons5se8 ,_h ! ,revelation told him t ! wife ( 8 y\?1 n[ tott]+ 9 /ep1 & ) hair silv]$ by age1 0 comm&$ to take two or a doz5 "y husb&s--,i wond]$ :e!r he w\ld h add$ ) su* satisfaction 8,x ought to be pray]fully ?\ght (60 ,f t day ,i le>n$ to reg>d polygamy z an ess5tial "p ( ! ,mormon fai?1 & su* = _m ye>s ! _w has consid]$ x2 b :5 ,i fir/ jo9$ ! *ur*1 su* an innovation w\ld h appe>$ to ! ,european ,sa9ts beyond ! wilde/ fancies ( a dream4 ,,*apt] ,,ix4 ,,mission>y ,,"w--,,tea*+ ,,polygamy4 ,i n[ ent]$ ^u a new phase ( my mission>y life2 ! ,eld]s assur$ me t x 0 my duty to tea* polygamy to ! wom5 ( ,switz]l&4 ,hi!rto1 al?\gh ,i _h suff]$ mu* f pov]ty & privation1 my "w z a mission>y _h be5 v pleasant4 ,i believ$ ) my :ole he>t all t ,i taught1 & my be/ wi%es = ! p ar\nd me 7 t !y might become altoge!r su* z ,i 01 except 9 my suff]+s4 ,n[1 h[ev]1 all ?is 0 *ang$4 ,x 0 no long] salvation ?r\gh fai? 9 ,*ri/1 or rep5tance1 or baptism2 x 0 no long] love & peace = ?is _w1 & ! promise ( ev]la/+ joy 9 ! _w to come1 t ,i 0 call$ ^u to tea*4 ,my task hi!rto _h be5 a lab\r ( love2 n[ x 0 to be a we>y "w ( pa94 ,h[ c\ld ,i tea* ! si/]s1 ! affection ( ^: guileless he>ts ,i _h won to myself--h[ c\ld ,i tea* !m t :i* my own he>t abhorr$1 a doctr9e :i* ,i hat$ ) my :ole s\l6 ,h[ ,i /rove aga9/ my rebelli\s nature6 h[ ,i battl$ ) myself6 ,t ,god _h s5t ! ,revelation ,i nev] que/ion$1 & all rebellion to ,8 w ,i knew mu/ be s9ful4 ,i _h no ?\ght ( evad+ ! responsibility2 my he>t mu/ be subdu$4 ,x might be subdu$2 x might be cru%$ & brok52 b ,i c\ld nev] aga91 ,i felt1 be truly happy4 ,i tri$ to reason ) myself1 & to p]suade myself t x 0 ,i :o 0 to blame & n ! ,revelation4 ,if ! ,"l requir$ me to submit1 x mu/ be = "s good purpose2 & ,i mu/ n refuse ! cross t ,he call$ ^u me to be>4 ,sometimes = a few mom5ts some?+ w\ld attract my att5tion & div]t my ?\ghts2 b ! t]rible reality--polygamy1 refus$ to be ignor$1 & ,i felt all ! m bitt]ly aft]w>ds4 ,i nev] 0 happy1 = life _h lo/ its *>m to me4 ,ere ,i slept at night "o dreadful ?\ght 0 haunt+ my pill[--x di/urb$ my v dreams2 & :5 ,i awoke 9 ! morn+1 x 0 ) a fev]i% appreh5sion ( com+ evil hang+ ov] me4 ,all ?r\gh ! long1 we>y day x haunt$ my foot/eps l a spectre2 & l a fe>ful blight t _h fall5 ^u me1 x seem$ to be )]+ my s\l4 ,"o ?\ght 0 ev] pres5t 9 my m9d--t ?\ght1 polygamy6 ,x c be no wond] t ,i lo/ all int]e/ 9 life1 & t ,i %\ld almo/ wi% to die r ?an live t life ( degradation :i* ,i dread$ w\ld be m9e4 ,b dea? flies f ^? :o woo h]2 ! wret*$1 ! we>y1 ! hopeless1 !y f9d h] n4 ,i felt t !re 0 no re/ = me4 ,my only com=t 0 9 my *ildr52 no revelation1 ,i felt1 c\ld *ange _! relation%ip to me4 ,b ov] my little daught] ,cl>a ,i m\rn$1 = ,i ?\ght if ?is revelation 7 act$ ^u by ! ,sa9ts1 z d\btless x w\ld be1 %e w\ld "s day be call$ ^u to suff] z ,i did4 ,h[ little did ,i !n1 h[ev]1 anticipate 9 :at way my fe>s w\ld be realiz$6 ,my ,cl>a became ! daught]-9-law ( ,brigham ,"y1 hav+ m>ri$ 8 elde/ son1 ,joseph ,a4 ,"y4 ,i am afraid at t "t ,i 0 some:at ( a trial to my husb&1 = my he>t 0 n yet q subdu$4 ,i grew impati5t at ! wrong :i* ,i felt _h be5 done to me1 & ,i (t5 said bitt] ?+s aga9/ ! ,prophet ( ! ,"l & all 8 sex1 includ+ my husb&1 :o 0 !n1 & = ye>s aft]1 a devot$ ,mormon1 & 0 q horrifi$ at :at ,i said4 ,he (t5 told me t ,i 0 a great h9drance to him1 & t x 0 impossible = any "o :o liv$ ) me to enjoy ! ,_s ( ,god--& ,i 0 afraid t he only spoke ! tru?4 ,!n ,i rep5t$1 & s\ght to *a/5 myself2 & ,i fa/$ & pray$1 & ask$ =giv5ess ( ,god & my husb&4 ,b ev5 :5 mo/ subdu$ ,i 0 z unhappy z ev]1 & "s "o 0 sure to say some?+ :i* rem9d$ me ( my tr\ble2 & :5ev] ! eld]s came to ! h\se !y 7 sure to discuss ! "o pa9ful topic4 ,!n my indignant feel+s all came back aga91 & ,i felt ! _s ( rebellion /irr+ )9 me4 ,i c\ld n help x1 = ,i felt t woman's nature itself 0 insult$ by ! degrad+ doctr9e1 & any m5tion ( x excit$ my ang]4 ,my husb& & ! ,eld]s _h anticipat$ t ,i w\ld n readily submit1 & !y bore ) me z pati5tly z !y c\ld1 los+ no opportunity ( /r5g!n+ me 9 ! fai?1 ev] keep+ be=e me ! obligation t re/$ ^u me 9 p>ticul> to expla9 ! doctr9e to ! ,swiss si/]s4 ,!y knew v well t no?+ t5ds m to confirm ! fai? ( ! wav]+ ?an sett+ !m to tea* o!rs4 ,brigham ,"y has always act$ on ?is pr9ciple1 & :5ev] any ( ! bre?r5 h ev9c$ signs ( d\bt or disaffection !y h be5 at once despat*$ on a mission4 ,_! ef=ts to conv]t o!rs e/abli%$ _! own fai?4 ,among ! ,swiss we _h nev] spok5 on polygamy or any k9dr$ subject1 & we 7 !re=e sp>$ ! humiliation :i* ! ,briti% ,eld]s exp]i5c$ 9 hav+ to retract _! own tea*+s4 ,nev]!less1 ,mr4 ,/5h\se & ! o!r ,eld]s felt great anxiety z to h[ ! new doctr9e w\ld be receiv$4 ,my husb& did n at once op5ly tell !m t su* a ,revelation _h be5 s5t f ,zion2 b :5ev] an opportunity pres5t$ he took !m aside s+ly1 & spoke to !m ab\t ! anci5t patri>*s :o practis$ polygamy2 & s great 0 8 influ5ce ) ! conv]ts t he soon won !m ov] to ! new tea*+1 & made !m feel t !y w\ld n be ju/ifi$ 9 reject+ ! ,revelation4 ,_m ( ! ,swiss ,sa9ts be=e _! conv]sion _h be5 m ,sociali/s ?an ,*ri/ians1 & !y probably ?\ght t ?is *ange 9 ! m>riage in/itution 0 a sign ( advanc+ intellectual supremacy2 b _! wives 7 v f> f %>+ ^! op9ions ) !m4 ,aft] _m days & nights ( pray] & fa/+ ,i prep>$ myself = my "w4 ,to a c]ta9 ext5t ,i _h br\ght my own self "u control--or ,i ?\ght ,i _h2 & ,i almo/ felt anxi\s to beg91 s t ,i might get ov] ! pa9ful sc5es :i* ,i fully anticipat$4 ,x 0 agre$ t ,madame ,balif1 ( :om ,i h already spok5 z be+ r sceptical :5 my *ild recov]$ f h] critical condition1 %\ld be ! fir/ to :om ! intellig5ce %\ld be imp>t$1 = x 0 ?\ght t if %e accept$ ?is ,revelation )\t mu* difficulty1 ! o!r si/]s w\ld be m easily won ov]4 ,%e 0 a well educat$ & intellig5t woman1 & _h se5 a good deal ( ! _w4 ,%e _h met h] husb& :ile travell+ 9 ,russia1 _h m>ri$ him1 & !y _h return$ to _! native l&4 ,%e 0 9 e respect a lady1 b %e 0 a spoilt *ild1 & _h h] :ims2 & %e possess$ a great influ5ce ov] ! m9ds ( ! o!r si/]s4 ,on ?is acc\nt x 0 t %e 0 select$ z ! victim to :om %\ld be fir/ imp>t$ ! my/]ies ( ! ,revelation1 = x 0 ?\ght t :atev] reception %e might give to polygamy1 h] views w\ld greatly influ5ce ! conduct ( ! re/4 ,z ,i be=e m5tion$1 ,madame ,balif & h] husb& 7 models ( affection to "o ano!r1 & x seem$ to me q a s9 t ,i %\ld introduce into su* a h\sehold a doctr9e :i* c\ld only produce disunion & mis]y4 ,i _h1 h[ev]1 s*ool$ my he>t to :at ,i ?\ght 0 my duty1 & ,i /rove to smo!r ! rebellion ris+ )9 me4 ,b1 aft] all1 x seem$ to me h>dly fair t ,i %\ld be select$ = ?is pa9ful task4 ,^! husb&s _h n c\rage en\gh1 or 7 a%am$1 to tell _! own wives ab\t ?is wond]ful ,revelation2 & s ,i1 a weak woman1 hat+ 9 my he>t ! doctr9e z mu* z a woman c\ld hate--,i 0 *os5 to introduce ?is pleasant subject1 & to p]suade ^? ,i lov$ to _! own ru94 ,i _h _h x all fully expla9$ to me1 & ,i ?or\ghly und]/ood ! beauties ( ! sy/em 9 ! sight ( ! eld]s1 & :at !y consid]$ ! /rong po9ts 9 ! ,revelation2--b x is mis]able "w to try to conv9ce o!rs ( a ?+ t y y\rself dete/4 ,"o day1 q unexpect$ly to h]1 !y _h told ,madame ,balif t a new ,revelation _h be5 s5t f ,zion1 & t ,i w\ld expla9 x to h]2 !n ,monsieur ,balif left ! h\se1 & rema9$ abs5t until ! wife :om he s devot$ly lov$ %\ld h he>d ?is new ?+4 ,madame ,balif came d[n /airs s++1 9 h] usual gay spirits1 little expect+ :at %e 0 go+ to he>2 & :5 %e came to me ,i felt s unfitt$ = my task t ,i d>$ n look h] /raight 9 ! face1 al?\gh %e 0 my de>e/ fri5d1 & ,i _h su* an affection = h]4 ,i /ood !re1 pale & trembl+1 & %e ?\ght t ,i 0 n well4 ,i 0 n inde$ well2 ,i 0 sick at he>t4 ,nev] be=e _h ! face ( a fri5d be5 s unwelcome4 ,%e ask$ me :at x 0 t ,i _h to tell h]2 & :5 ,i hesitat+ly d5i$ hav+ want$ to speak to h] at all1 %e said %e knew !re mu/ be some?+1 z h] husb& _h told h] s4 ,i hesitat$ /ill2 b at la/ f\nd c\rage1 & told h] all4 ,x 0 a cruel task to impose ^u me4 ,day aft] day ,i _h obs]v$ h] & h] husb&1 ,i _h notic$ _! deep affection2 _h se5 h] wat*+ at ! w9d[ = 8 return2 & he w\ld come ) a little (f]+ ( *oice fruit or fl[]s2 & ,i ?\ght no woman c\ld be happi] ?an ,madame ,balif4 ,& n[ = me to s cruelly awak5 !m f _! dream ( bliss6 ,%e sat & li/5$ eag]ly z ,i told my /ory2 & :5 at l5g? %e began to und]/& :at 0 meant by x1 %e ?\ght t ,i mu/ be play+ "s unseasonable joke ^u h]1 & %[$ z mu* 9 h] c\nt5ance4 ,b :5 %e saw t ,i really 0 9 e>ne/1 %e sprang up1 & cri$ out1 8,oh1 my ,god6 :at a bea/ly religion6 ,h[ d>$ y\r husb& & y come to u ,swiss ) su* a religion z t80 ,my eyes sank be=e h] z %e turn$ on me ) m+l$ rage & disgu/1 z if %e w\ld )] me ) h] contemptu\s looks4 ,i felt z humbl$ z if ,i myself _h be5 ! au?or ( ! ,revelation4 8,& does my ,s]ge believe ?is80 %e cri$4 ,i assur$ h] t he did believe x1 & %e pac$ ! room1 to & fro1 z if %e w\ld g crazy2 my he>t a*$ = h]4 ,%e gave way to a p]fect /orm ( rage1 & !n sobb$ & cri$ l a *ild :o _h lo/ its "m4 ,i 0 sil5t1 = ,i knew h[ %e mu/ feel1 & ,i felt t %e w\ld be reliev$ by te>s4 ,i _h gone ?r\gh ! trial all alone1 )\t "o ^w f a woman's he>t t c\ld rea* my own4 ,& ,i tri$ to com=t h]4 ,i rememb]$ h[ ,i _h felt myself1 & ,i believ$ t ?us x 0 n[ ) h]4 ,9 an in/ant1 :5 ,i fir/ realiz$ t polygamy _h any?+ to d ) me1 j z ,i h he>d x said ( dy+ m51 all my pa/ life ru%$ to my remembrance1 & e ^w or de$ ( love !re91 /ood out 9 brighte/ reality4 ,?us ,i d\bt$ n x 0 ) my fri5d4 ,e t5d] ^w :i* h] husb& _h ev] utt]$2 e lov+ de$ he _h ev] done1 came to h] recollection ) a t5-fold de>ness z %e realiz$ ! horrors :i* await$ h] 9 ! future4 ,h[ little did we ei!r ( u imag9e ! /ory %e w\ld aft]w>ds tell me 9 ,utah6 ,i tri$ to soo! h]1 & %e ?rew h] arms passionately r\nd me1 & press$ me to h] ?robb+ he>t1 & wept aga94 ,%e ?\ght ( h] husb& & h] little girls4 ,b ) all h] fe>s %e dream$ n h[ mis]able 0 ! life be=e h] 9 pov]ty & polygamy4 ,%e 0 h]self h&some 9 =m & fair 9 feature2 &1 9 ! full enjoym5t ( all t c\ld be desir$ 9 h] sph]e ( life1 %e 0 z happy z a y\?ful wife c\ld be4 ,%e pictur$ to h]self a "t--n n[1 h] ,s]ge lov$ h] too truly n[--:5 h] husb& might ca/ 8 eyes ^u "s bloom+ damsel1 y\ng] ?an %e 0 !n1 & might beg9 to take a ne>] int]e/ 9 polygamy4 ,%e pictur$ him be/[+ on ! y\?ful beauty ! love & t5d]ness :i* he _h always be/[$ on h]2 h[ 8 affections w\ld die out t[>ds h]2 h[ h] he>t w\ld be desolate & alone6 ,i took h] h& 9 m9e & spoke v g5tly to h]2 & :5 %e 0 calm]1 ,i talk$ to h] m freely4 ,we f\nd n[1 z we tri$ to look our common enemy 9 ! face1 h[ /rong a hold ,mormonism _h tak5 ( u2 & x is 9 ?is t p]sons unacqua9t$ ) ! ,sa9ts h s greatly misjudg$ ! wom5 ( ,utah2 !y "k h[ small a hold su* a religion--n[ !y look ^u ,mormonism & polygamy z id5tical--w\ld h ^u !m2 & !y =get h[ all-absorb+ 0 our fai? 9 ,mormonism )\t polygamy4 ,we confid$ n wisely1 b too well4 ,_h polygamy be5 an inv5tion ( our husb&s1 or a sy/em :i* !y caprici\sly adopt$1 we might h be5 griev$1 b we %\ld h kn[n h[ to act1 = we 7 9 a ,*ri/ian c\ntry1 :]e wom5 _h rights z well z m52 x 0 our own he>ts :i* 7 traitors to u4 ,we _h be5 taught to reg>d ,abraham & ,jacob1 & ,david & ,solomon z types ( hol9ess1 z m5 :o 7 fit objects = imitation2 & n[ x 0 prov$ to u1 f ,scripture1 t ^! m5 7 polygami/s1 & yet 7 bless$ by ,god2 & we 7 call$ ^u to foll[ _! example4 ,?us we tri$ to cru% out ! remembrance ( our own womanhood4 ,_h we b foll[$ ! light ( reason :i* ,god _h giv5 = our guide1 we %\ld h trampl$ 9 ! du/ t vile burlesque ^u ! holy religion ( ,jesus call$ a 8,revelation ^u ,cele/ial ,m>riage40 ,z x 01 ! religi\s tea*+s :i* we _h receiv$1 bo? be=e & aft] we embrac$ ,mormonism1 alike comb9$ to bl9d u to ! tru?4 ,9 ?is /ate ( m9d we knelt1 & pray$ = ! ,"l to increase our fai? 9 t v doctr9e :i* 9 our he>ts we curs$ & hat$2 & on our knees we wept aga92 & natural feel+s ( repugnance m+l$ ) an e>ne/ /ruggle to submit to ! w ( ,god4 ,madame ,balif _h n s mu* fai? 9 ,mormonism z ,i _h1 & %e _h consequ5tly less to tr\ble h] 9 t respect2 b %e lov$ h] husb&1 & %e knew t he 0 det]m9$ to g to ,zion z soon z he c\ld2 & !n n only w\ld all ! luxuries ( a happy home be sacrific$1 b all h] anticipations ( ! future 7 ov]%ad[$ by a t]rible appreh5sion4 ,?us we 7 equally tr\bl$1 ?\gh ,i _h to endure mo/1 z ! task ( tea*+ fell ^u me4 ,i did at la/ manage to p]suade h] n to (f] any active opposition to ! ,revelation1 b ,i c\ld n satisfy h] t all 0 "r4 ,%e ev5 w5t s f> z to promise to try to ov]come h] own feel+s1 = if x 0 really true %e did n wi% to be f\nd fight+ aga9/ ! ,"l4 ,%e _h1 h[ev]1 h>dly ceas$ speak+ :5 ! ?\ght ( h] little daught]s cross$ h] m9d1 & once m %e pac$ ! room l an enrag$ tigress1 decl>+ angrily t 8no vile polygami/ %\ld ev] possess ei!r ( h] sweet girls40 ,i _h felt l ?is = my own d>l+ ,cl>a4 ,i _h n[ a companion 9 mis]y1 "s "o :o c\ld sympa?ize ) me4 ,ev5 _h my husb& dete/$ ! doctr9e z ,i did1 he c\ld n h com=t$ me z a woman & a "m c\ld4 ,my poor fri5d c\ld feel z ,i felt1 & h] sympa?y 0 v de> to me2 mis]y loves companion%ip2 we 7 si/]s 9 affliction4 ,n only s1 ,madame ,balif decl>$ t ?is pa9ful task %\ld n re/ on me alone2 %e w\ld help me 9 speak+ to ! si/]s4 ,?us we help$ ea* o!r 9 ! "t ( our tr\ble4 ,x mu/ h be5 ab\t ?is "t t ,i receiv$ ano!r lett] f ,m>y ,burton4 ,! po/m>k is q indi/9ct1 b a week or two "o way or ! o!r does n signify mu*4 ,9 h] usual quick & impulsive way1 %e gave me h] views ( ! 8beauties0 ( polygamy1 & p]haps ! read] w\ld l to he> :at %e said4 8 444 ,i am v mis]able1 ,si/] ,/5h\se1 & furi\sly indignant4 ,i little ?\ght :5 ,i la/ wrote to y t ,i %\ld h su* news to tell2 b ,i suppose y "k x all )\t my say+ a ^w4 ,h[ we all felt :5 we fir/ le>n$ t polygamy 0 true1 no words ( m9e c describe2 we h>dly d>$ look "o ano!r 9 ! face4 ,let me tell y h[ x 04 8,"o night1 q late1 ,eld] ,%rewsbury came r\nd 9 a hurry1 & ask$ to see me4 ,i w5t d[n into ! p>l\r to meet him1 & ,mrs4 ,elswor? came d[n also1 & rema9$ until he w5t away4 ,eld] ,%rewsbury look$ v /range t night1 j l a man :o _h be5 do+ some?+ wrong & 0 a%am$ ( x4 8,he excus$ himself = com+ s late1 b he said he _h only j receiv$ "s important news1 & c\ld n re/ until he _h se5 u4 ,he _h be5 r\nd at ! ,conf]5ce h\se1 & _h !re se5 a good _m ( ! ,eld]s4 ,!y 7 all talk+ e>ne/ly ^u ! same subject1 = t day !y _h receiv$1 n only lett]s f ! apo/le at ,liv]pool1 b also copies ( ! ,mill5nial ,/>1 ) ! ,revelation 9 x1 :i* ,i suppose y h se54 ,( c\rse x 0 impossible = !m to d\bt any long]1 b mo/ ( !m felt x 0 a cruel bl[4 ,eld] ,%rewsbury said !y look$ at "o ano!r1 b did n d>e to speak4 ,ne>ly all ( !m _h be5 anxi\sly try+ to get rid ( ! false sc&al1 z !y suppos$ ! accusation ( polygamy to be2 & 9 public 9 _! s]mons1 & 9 private to all ! weak bre?r51 !y _h ov] & ov] aga9 solemnly decl>$ t polygamy 0 unhe>d ( among ! ,sa9ts1 t x 0 a ,g5tile lie2 & !y _h prov$ f ! ,bible1 & f ! ,book ( ,mormon1 t a doctr9e s s9ful c\ld nev] be believ$ or practis$ by ,god's p4 8,n[ all ?is w\ld be ?r[n 9 _! tee?4 ,^? :o hat$ ,mormonism w\ld revile !m = x1 &1 worse /ill1 ! ,sa9ts !mselves w\ld despise & d\bt !m = ! falsehoods :i* _m ( !m _h innoc5tly told4 ,:o c\ld tell :]e all ?is w\ld end8 ,:5 !y 7 f\nd to h be5 deceiv$ 9 a matt] l polygamy1 ab\t :i* x 0 s easy to arrive at facts & c]ta9ty1 :o w\ld tru/ !m conc]n+ o!r doctr9es1 :i* dep5d$ ^u _! v]acity & te/imony alone8 8,!n1 too1 !re 0 worse to be said ab\t ! ,am]ican eld]s & apo/les4 ,:o c\ld believe t ,orson ,pratt or ,lor5zo ,sn[ knew no?+ ( polygamy8 ,& yet !y d5i$ x 9 ! mo/ solemn way4 ,&1 oh1 ,si/] ,/5h\se1 ?9k ( ! ,apo/le ,taylor call+ ,god to witness 8 tru? :5 he prov$ f ! ,book ( ,cov5ants t !re 0 no su* ?+ z polygamy3 & all ! :ile he _h himself five wives 9 ,salt ,lake ,city6 8,eld] ,%rewsbury told u all ?is1 b he spoke sl[ly & disjo9t$ly1 l a man ^: m9d is tr\bl$4 ,he said he h>dly knew :at he 0 do+4 ,!n he gave ,mrs4 ,elswor? a copy ( ! ,/>1 & he ask$ me1 too1 to read ! ,revelation c>efully be=e ,i condemn$ x4 8#8,if ! ,revelation1 z y call x1 all[s polygamy1' ,i exclaim$1 #8,i hate & despise x1 & y1 & ,mormonism1 & all6' ,i 0 q 9 a fury1 & ,i did feel z if ,i hat$ him !n4 8,he did n answ] me2 he seem$ too cut up to utt] a ^w2 b ,i did n pity him4 ,i felt t m5 :o w\ld write su* a revelation z t = _! own wick$ purposes des]v$ all ! hatr$ :i* ! cruelle/ he>t c\ld mu/] up2 !y 7 loa!some to any pure-m9d$ woman4 ,z he 0 ab\t to leave he said m\rnfully1 #8,si/] ,m>y1 ,i "k y h good cause = ang]2 b be j4 ,i h be5 j z mu* deceiv$ z ev] y h be54 ,x has unsettl$ all my fai?2 ev5 our be/ & mo/ tri$ mission>ies are %r9k+ f x4 ,d n blame me = :at ,i h n done4 ,i nev] deceiv$ y ab\t x4' 8,i did n answ] him2 & aft] a few mom5ts he said1 #8,m>y1 ,i want to speak to y alone ab\t ^! ?+s4 ,c ,i see y1 to-morr[ ev5+1 if ,i call8' 8#8,i wi% y w\ld n call me ,m>y any m1 ,eld] ,%rewsbury1' ,i said2 #8x is too famili> n[4 ,we h be5 f> too fri5dly2 b1 ?ank ,god1 ,i h f\nd out 9 "t1 & "k h[ to act4' ,he w5t away look+ mo/ mis]able4 ,!n ,i w5t to my own room1 & tri$ to ?9k ! matt] out4 ,if ,i 7 m>ri$1 z y are1 ,si/] ,/5h\se1 & if my husb& believ$ 9 ! ,revelation1 ,i ?9k ,i %\ld g crazy4 ,z x 01 ,i felt x t]ribly4 ,y "k1 de>1 ,i told y t ,i lik$ ,eld] ,%rewsbury v well1 b no?+ m4 ,well1 t 0 v true !n1 b n[ ,i "k t x 0 n all ! tru?4 ,i take c>e t he %all nev] "k :at ,i ?9k ( him1 b ,i "k t he is n ! same to me z o!r p4 ,i d n ?9k ,i love him2 no1 ,i'm sure ,i don't n[2 b ,i d feel a great deal ( int]e/ 9 him4 ,t night1 h[ev]1 ,i felt v mad at him4 ,t he _h be5 deceiv$1 ,i knew1 & also t he mu/ h felt sorry = hav+ deceiv$ me2 &1 if he c>es = me1 he mu/ h felt uneasy = :at ,i might say or d1 n[ ! doctr9e 0 proclaim$4 8,well1 ! m ,i ?\ght ( x1 ! m angry ,i became1 & ,i c\ldn't sleep all night4 ,! next morn+ ,i wrote a little note to ,eld] ,%rewsbury1 say+ t aft] all t _h happ5$ ,i _h fully resolv$ n to see him aga94 ,_m ( my fri5ds1 ,i said1 7 m>ri$1 & c\ld n help !mselves1 b ,i bo? c\ld & w\ld4 ,! ,mormon si/]s ,i %\ld ev] pity & love2 b z = ! ,mormon m51 ,i w\ld nev] h any?+ to d ) "o ( !m z long z ,i liv$4 ,i did n want to be unk9d to him p]sonally1 b ,i really c\ld n tru/ any "o n[4 8,!n ,i %[$ ?is note to ,mrs4 ,elswor?1 & ask$ h] to give x to ,eld] ,%rewsbury t night :5 he came4 8,he came1 ( c\rse1 & he came aga9 & aga92 b ,i w\ld n see him2 & ,i did n ev5 g to ! meet+s = fe> ( com+ across him !re4 ,he _h long talks ) ,mrs4 ,elswor?1 & tri$ to get h] to int]f]e1 & at la/ he s5t me a long lett]1 entreat+ me n to refuse him4 ,i 0 cool] n[2 & :5 ,mrs4 ,elswor? said ,i ought at lea/ to see him1 ev5 if ,i dismiss$ him !n1 ,i agre$ to d s1 & ! next night he came4 8,he 0 v humble t night4 ,y "k :at torr5ts ( eloqu5ce he p\rs =? ab\t any?+ t int]e/s him1 & h[ e>ne/ he is4 ,b !n all 8 eloqu5ce _h fl$4 ,he hesitat$ & blund]$1 until ,i really q piti$ him4 ,he came & sat by me1 & w\ld h tak5 my h&1 b ,i w\ld n let him4 ,he did n tell me t he lov$ me1 b he spoke z if ,i 7 consci\s ( ! fact2 & y "k1 ( c\rse1 ,i c\ldn't help feel+ t he c>$ = me1 :e!r he spoke ab\t x or n4 ,he assur$ me ov] & ov] aga9 t ?\gh he _h (t5 he>d ! sc&al1 z ,i _h done1 he did n = a mom5t believe x2 he said t he %\ld nev] himself act up to ! ,revelation2 t if he lov$1 x %\ld be an undivid$ & all-absorb+ love2 t he w\ld r h less glory 9 et]nity1 ) "o :om he c\ld idolize1 ?an obey ! ,revelation on ,polygamy1 & obta9 a high] position4 8,all ?is "t he h>dly once look$ at me1 b :5 ,i did see 8 eyes1 !y seem$ v sorr[ful & v e>ne/4 ,i confess to y t :at he said made me feel v diff]5tly = him4 ,= a man ( 8 ability & tal5ts1 :o has su* an influ5ce1 & w9s s mu* respect f e "o he meets1 to be sitt+ !re all ba%ful1 l a naughty *ild1 be=e a "y girl l me1 & all because he lov$ me1 made me feel = him a pity :i* 0 v ne> to love4 8,i told him t ,i _h q resolv$1 n[ t polygamy 0 ackn[l$g$1 nev] to see him aga91 except z ,i might see ! o!r eld]s at meet+4 ,i said ,i believ$ ,i 0 /ill a good ,mormon1 z ,mormons us$ to be2 b ,i w\ld nev] receive polygamy1 or be m ?an an ord9>y fri5d to any "o :o did believe x4 8,aft] t ,i only saw him at ! meet+4 ,&1 oh de>6 y %\ld see :at meet+s we h n[6 ,half ! p don't att5d1 & ev]y?+ is s cold & lifeless4 ,"s ( our mo/ e>ne/ eld]s nev] come2 & x is said among ! bre?r5 t polygamy w produce ! greate/ apo/asy :i* ! *ur* has ev] se54 ,e "o seems a%am$ ( x4 8,& n[1 de>1 ,i h writt5 y a t]rible long lett]1 b y mu/ please =give me1 = ,i h no "o to :om ,i c op5 my he>t except to y4 ,kiss ! babies1 please1 = me2 & write soon to y\r mo/ affectionately lov+1 8,,m>y ,,burton40 ,poor girl6 ,i said1 z ,i fold$ up h] lett]2 b x is bett] = h] to suff] a little n[1 ?an = h] to h be5 m>ri$ fir/1 z ,i 01 & !n1 :5 too late to g back1 to h polygamy ann\nc$ z an article ( fai?4 ,,*apt] ,x4 ,,mormonism ,,9 ,,engl&--,,prep>+ ,,to ,,emigrate4 ,x 0 =tunate = ! ,swiss mission t ! new conv]ts 9 g5]al c\ld n read any language b _! own1 & ?us 7 ignorant ( ! deceptions :i* ! ,am]ican ,eld]s _h practis$ ^u ! p4 ,monsieur ,petitpi]re1 ! ,prote/ant m9i/] :o ?\ght t ! ,revelation ought to be 8pray]fully consid]$10 0 ! only "o :o und]/ood ,engli%1 & 8 k 0 v limit$4 ,8 wife did n at all co9cide ) him ab\t ! pray]ful consid]ation ( polygamy2 %e dispos$ ( ! subject )\t any pray] at all2 & x is to be regrett$ t 9 ?is respect ! :ole body ( ! ,mormon wom5 did n foll[ h] example4 ,:at argum5ts %e us$ ,i d n "k2 b t !y 7 v mu* to ! po9t no "o c d\bt1 = !y bani%$ = ev] all ?\ghts ( polygamy f h] husb&'s m9d4 ,x 0 said among ! ,sa9ts t %e 0 v en]getic 9 h] private discussions ) h] husb&4 ,b h[ev] ?is might be1 x is c]ta9 t ,monsieur ,petitpi]re resi/$ z long z he c\ld1 = ! ,revelation q fasc9at$ ! *ildless old man2 & x is possible t he might h held fa/ to ! fai?1 b un=tunately1 j !n c]ta9 docum5ts & publications ( ! apo/les1 & a v l>ge am\nt ( evid5ce respect+ !m & _! do+s1 attract$ 8 att5tion4 ,he 0 9 ! ma9 a good & tru?ful man1 al?\gh ( small m5tal calibre1 & ! deceptions & contradictions :i* he discov]$ q disgu/$ him4 ,8 wife's /rong p]sonal argum5ts gave ! f9i%+ bl[ to 8 fai?1 & ! spell 0 brok54 ,! vision ( a mod]n ,hag> & a little ,i%mael vani%$ f 8 m9d2 he apo/atis$--& ,mr4 ,/5h\se lo/ ! s]vices ( a v useful translator4 ,:5 ,i he>d t he _h left ! *ur*1 h[ ,i wi%$ t ,i c\ld h foll[$ 9 8 foot/eps6 ,b apo/asy f ,mormonism is only possible to two classes--! "y disciple1 :o has embrac$ ! fai? m f en?usiasm ?an f conviction1 ^: exp]i5ce is limit$2 & ! old disciple1 :o has entirely outgr[n x1 & has become disgu/$ ) x all4 ,i 0 nei!r ( ^!4 ,my fai? 0 too firmly gr\nd$ to admit ( my giv+ x up4 ,?\gh ,i hat$ polygamy1 ,i did n d>e to "q ! div9ity ( its orig94 ,i only piti$ myself & my sex = ! burd5 :i* ,god _h se5 fit to place ^u u4 ,i nev] = a mom5t suppos$ t any man w\ld h be5 s wick$ z to fabricate a 8,revelation10 or s blasphem\s z to palm x (f 9 ! "n ( ! ,"l4 ,oh yes1 ,i hat$ polygamy 9 my he>t4 ,& my ef=ts 9 tea*+ x only increas$ my hatr$2 = :5 ,i 0 gravely told by ! ,eld]s t woman _h be5 curs$ 9 ! g>d5 ( ,ed51 & t polygamy 0 "o ( ! results ( t curse--8h] desire %all be unto h] husb&1 & he %all rule ov] h]60--,i mu/ confess t my he>t )9 me 0 rebelli\s4 ,f my e>lie/ *ildhood ,i _h ?\ght ( ,god z a fa!r & a fri5d1 to :om ,i might g & tell all my griefs & c>es2 b n[ ,he 0 pres5t$ to me z a h>d taskma/]1 n z a fa!r or a fri5d4 ,i met ) mu* k9dness1 b ,i did n meet ) mu* sympa?y f ! bre?r54 ,!y c\ld n und]/& t opposition to polygamy 0 any?+ else ?an selfi%ness on ! "p ( ! si/]s2 !y did n compreh5d ! feel+s ( a woman's he>t--its crav+ = "s object ^u :i* to devote its :ole weal? ( love4 ,!y 7 taught t !irs 0 a nobl] position ?an t ( ! si/]s1 & t wom5 might consid] !mselves suffici5tly hon\r$ 9 be+ all[$ to become ! mo!rs ( _! *ildr51 & to help 9 build+ up _! 8k+dom40 ,( my mission>y "w 9 ,switz]l& subsequ5t to ! introduction ( polygamy ,i w say b little1 except t x 0 too successful4 ,! same sorr[ & indignation :i* ,madame ,balif _h s =cibly express$1 7 %[n by almo/ e new conv]t1 & ,i _h to be> ! blame ( tea*+ su* a doctr9e4 ,! si/]s became unhappy1 & wi%$ t !y _h di$ 9 ignorance ( ,mormonism2 & ,i felt humbl$ to ! du/ to ?9k t ,i %\ld be ! innoc5t cause ( s mu* mis]y to o!rs4 ,i look$ anxi\sly = a *ange2 b ! only *ange :i* seem$ probable 0 t we might be p]mitt$ to emigrate to ,utah--& !re 0 no com=t = me 9 t prospect4 ,we rema9$ 9 ,switz]l& until ! close ( ! ye> #ahed1 & ?r\gh ! unremitt+ ef=ts ( my husb& ,mormonism 0 introduc$ into six cantons ( ! ,conf$]ation4 ,monsieur ,balif became an indefatigable mission>y1 z 0 also ,gov]nor ,/\deman2 & to _! lib]ality & zeal ,mr4 ,/5h\se 0 greatly indebt$4 ,) ! aid ( ,monsieur ,balif1 he e/abli%$ 9 ,g5eva a mon?ly p]iodical 9 ! ,fr5* language1 = ! edification ( ! ,sa9ts1 besides publi%+ a book 9 reply to ! attacks ( ! cl]gy1 & _m m9or effusions4 ,at t "t !re 0 great excitem5t among ! ,sa9ts 9 ,utah4 ,brigham ,"y & 8 apo/les 7 d5\nc+ ! ,g5tiles 9 ! mo/ unmeasur$ language4 ,z ,i write1 a volume ( s]mons deliv]$ at t "t is be=e me1 & ,i really c h>dly cr$it t s mu* ridicul\s nons5se1 bad gramm>1 & blasphemy1 c\ld ev] h be5 utt]$ 9 a public place ( wor%ip--yet x 0 s4 ,! ,sa9ts 7 told t 9 ^! la/ times all ! vials ( ! wra? ( ,god 7 ab\t to be p\r$ ^u ! e>?2 w>s & desolations1 an>*y & p]secution1 fire1 pe/il5ce1 & unhe>d ( horrors1 7 to desolate all ! _w1 until m5 %\ld call ^u ! rocks to hide !m1 & 9 ! bitt]ness ( _! s\ls curse ! day 9 :i* !y 7 born2 dea? 0 to be s\ght =1 b n f\nd4 ,believ+1 z !y did1 t all ?is 0 true1 x is no wond] t ! ,sa9ts 9 ,europe 7 al>m$1 & became anxi\s to emigrate to ,utah1 :]e !y 7 told !y w\ld be safe4 ,a sev5 ye>s' fam9e 0 said to be at ! door1 :5 a sack ( :eat %\ld be sold = a sack ( gold1 & ,g5tile k+s & pr9ces 7 to come & cr\* to ! ,sa9ts = a morsel ( bread4 ,! v wom5 9 ,zion 7 c\nsell$ to sell ! ribbons f _! bonnets1 to buy fl\r ) ! proce$s1 & to hide x away aga9/ ! day ( wra?4 ,! bre?r5 & si/]s 9 ,switz]l& :o c\ld dispose ( _! prop]ty ha/5$ to 8flee to ,zion40 ,"s did s at a ru9\s sacrifice4 ,"o g5tleman1 a ,monsieur ,robella1 ,i knew1 :o 0 "p proprietor ( a newspap] & pr9t+ e/abli%m5t4 ,9 a v %ort "t x w\ld h be5 entirely 9 8 own h&s2 b he sold out at a great loss1 dread+ t ! /orm might ov]take him be=e he rea*$ ! 8*amb]s ( ! ,"l 9 ! m\nta9s10 z ! ,eld]s call$ ,salt ,lake ,city4 ,! j\rney f ,europe to ,utah at t "t occupi$ six or eight mon?s2 x 0 a v t$i\s pilgrimage4 ,my ,swiss fri5ds _h fir/ to travel to ,liv]pool2 !nce by sail+ vessel to ,new ,orleans2 by /eam] up ! ,mississippi z f> z ,/4 ,l\is2 up ! ,miss\ri to ! fronti]s2 & !n across ! pla9s by ox-teams4 ,mu* ( ?is di/ance _h to be travell$ dur+ ! wor/ "p ( ! ye>4 ,!y left _! homes :ile ! ,jura m\nta9s 7 /ill drap$ 9 sn[2 & ^? :o escap$ ! ravages ( *ol]a & ! p]ils ( ! ways1 rea*$ _! de/9ation j z ! fro/s ( w9t] 7 beg9n+ to :it5 ! ho>y heads ( ! hills :i* /& ab\t ,zion4 ,all ! ,swiss pilgrims travell$ toge!r until !y arriv$ at ,/4 ,l\is2 !re !y sep>at$1 "o p>ty go+ up ! riv]1 & ! o!r mak+ ! j\rney ov]l&4 ,! *ol]a attack$ ! latt] p>ty1 & cut (f ! great] numb] ( !m1 & _! bones n[ :it5 ! prairie4 ,! news ( _! dea? soon arriv$ 9 ,switz]l&1 & ! p at ,lausanne 7 exasp]at$ aga9/ ! ,mormon mission>ies2 & :5 my husb& visit$ t place he f\nd x prud5t n to rema9 long4 ,at ! same "t ^? ( ! ,sa9ts ^: relations _h p]i%$ 9 ! emigration 7 pa9$ to he> t x 0 because !y 8_h n obey$ c\nsel10 & gone up ! riv] ) ! o!r p>ty1 t !y fell by ! way4 ,&1 z if 9 mock]y ( ?is /atem5t1 ! next news t we receiv$ 0 t a ,miss\ri /eam]1 on bo>d ( :i* 7 _m ,mormon mission>ies--all mo/ ob$i5t to c\nsel--_h be5 bl[n to atoms4 ,_m ( ! ,sa9ts began to consid] ^! ?+s1 & _! love wax$ cold4 ,?r\gh all ?is our position 0 any?+ b pleasant1 & my husb& appli$ = p]mission to be releas$ f ! presid5cy ( ! ,swiss & ,italian missions1 9 ord] t he might 8ga!r to ,zion40 ,8 reque/ 0 grant$2 & 9 ! autumn ( #ahed we bade a f9al adieu to ,switz]l&4 ,we might n[ be said to h begun our j\rney to ,zion1 al?\gh we t>ri$ long by ! way1 & sev]al ye>s elaps$ be=e we rea*$ our de/9ation4 ,:5 we arriv$ 9 ,london we obta9$ ap>tm5ts 9 ! h\se ( ! ,presid5t ( ! ,london ,conf]5ce1 & !re ,i _h opportunities ( obs]v+ ! effects ( ! sy/em ^u ! ,engli% ,sa9ts4 ,eld] ,m>sd51 ! presid5t1 0 a ?or\gh ,mormon1 & a man :o 0 v highly ?\ght (4 ,he _h be5 acqua9t$ ) all ! apo/les & high prie/s :o _h resid$ 9 ,liv]pool--! great r5dezv\s ( ! ,sa9ts 9 ,engl&2 _h be5 ,presid5t ( ! ,conf]5ce !re1 & n[ occupi$ ! highe/ position ( ! ,european mission4 ,he 0 a pleasant1 intellig5t man1 :o 9 8 day _h done mu* to build up ! *ur*2 b1 l 8 two pr$ecessors1 ,john ,banks & ,?omas ,m>getts1 he also apo/atiz$ f ! ,mormonism ( lat] ye>s4 ,at ! "t1 h[ev]1 ( :i* ,i speak1 he 0 consid]$ to be ( good /&+ among ! ,sa9ts4 ,up to ?is "t ,i _h nev] s]i\sly d\bt$ my religion1 & ,i probably nev] %\ld h done s _h x n be5 = ! introduction ( polygamy4 ,b :at ,i saw 9 ,london at t "t sadly %ook my fai?1 & ! /ories :i* ,i he>d f ,utah q fright5$ me4 ,no?+1 ( c\rse1 0 op5ly said1 & at fir/ ,i disbeliev$ e evil report1 until at la/ x 0 impossible = me altoge!r to reject :at 0 told me4 ,! te/imony ( an apo/ate or ( a ,g5tile w\ld h be5 dismiss$ ) contempt2 b :5 we saw lett]s f mo!rs to _! *ildr51 & husb&s to _! wives--all p ( unque/ion$ fai?1 sett+ =? ! tr\bl$ /ate ( m5's m9ds 9 ,utah1 express+ fe>s = _! own safety1 & h9t+ at 8cutt+ (f0 ! transgressor1 & ! do+s ( 8,av5g+ ,angels10 we c\ld n ca/ !m aside ) contempt4 ,my views ( ! glories ( ,zion 7 *ang+2 h5ce=? ,i 0 nev] firm 9 ! fai?2 ,i felt t !re 0 some?+ wrong4 ,p]haps ! read] may ?9k t n[ ,i might h left ! *ur*1 & ?us h avoid$ all ^? tr\bles :i* await$ me 9 ,utah4 ,b let him rememb] t1 al?\gh my fai? 0 %ak51 x 0 n :olly de/roy$4 ,all t ,i clung to on e>?--my husb&1 :om ,i truly lov$1 & my d>l+ *ildr5--7 "p & p>cel ( ,mormonism4 ,i c\ld n te> myself f !m1 & isolate my s\l f all t made life wor? hav+4 ,my unsettl$ /ate ( m9d1 h[ev]1 did n long rema9 a secret4 ,x 0 spok5 ( among ! ,sa9ts1 & ,i became an object ( int]e/4 ,! pa/or ov] ! ,london & adjo9+ ,conf]5ces 0 ! son ( "o ( ! *ief apo/les 9 ,utah--a "y man1 ^: good nature 0 f> bett] ?an 8 religion4 ,he visit$ u v frequ5tly1 & us$ to br+ ) him ! di/+ui%$ ,am]ican ,eld]s :o might be visit+ ! metropolis4 ,i h no d\bt t !y 7 s9c]e 9 _! desire to d me good2 b x 0 n k9d att5tions t ,i !n ne$$1 x 0 ! removal ( ! cause ( my sorr[s4 ,!y tri$ to p]suade me t x 0 all 8! "w ( ! ,"l20 b ,i c\ld n see x 9 t light1 & v (t5 9 reply to _! consolations ,i said v h>d ?+s ( polygamy & ! lead]s ( ! *ur*1 ^: conduct ,i consid]$ s9ful4 ,& 9 ?is ,i did n /& alone1 = ,i soon f\nd t ! ,presid5t ( ! ,conf]5ce1 ,eld] ,m>sd51 _h be5 9 ! same position = ye>s1 & 8 wife 0 8q ?r\gh0 ) ,mormonism4 ,9 fact1 s great _h be5 ! di/ru/ occasion$ by polygamy1 t 9 ! report end+ ,june #cj?1 #ahec1 x 0 /at$ t f ! :ole ,briti% *ur*1 :i* !n numb]$ v ne>ly #ca1jjj s\ls--#aggf _h be5 excommunicat$ = apo/asy6 ,( ^? :o rema9$ fai?ful ,i _c give a mu* m *e]+ acc\nt4 ,! ,eld]s :o visit$ ,presid5t ,m>sd5 made z damag+ reports ( ! condition ( ! ,sa9ts z _! wor/ enemies c\ld desire4 ,all t my "y fri5d1 ,m>y ,burton1 _h told me did n equal ! tru? ( :at ,i saw = myself4 ,no "o _h any confid5ce n[ 9 :at ! ,eld]s said2 h[ c\ld !y be tru/$ aft] s _m ye>s ( deception8 ,! ,eld]s :o visit$ me & reason$ ) me ab\t my want ( fai?1 tri$ to p]suade me to be baptiz$ aga94 ,among ! ,mormons x is ! privilege ( ! fai?ful to be baptiz$ ov] & ov] aga91 z (t5 z may be ne$$1 = ! remission ( _! s9s1 :i* are ?us wa%$ away1 & ! p5it5t is enabl$ to />t afre%4 ,at t "t ( fe>ful excitem5t 9 ,utah1 call$ by ! ,mormons 8,! ,re=mation10 :5 p 7 be+ exhort$ "u t]rible p5alties to confess _! s9s1 _m 7 s fright5$ t !y ackn[l$g$ !mselves guilty ( crimes ( :i* !y _h nev] dream$1 :ile at ! same "t _m horrible & dete/able s9s 7 br\ght to light4 ,brigham & ! lead]s f\nd t !y 7 confess+ too mu*--! s9n]s 7 f> m num]\s ?an ! godly4 ,brigham1 ) 8 usual craft1 soon f\nd a way ( escape2 ! p 7 told to be baptiz$ aga91 s t _! s9s be+ wa%$ away1 !y c\ld truly say !y 7 n guilty ( ! crimes ( :i* !y might be accus$4 ,i 0 n conv9c$1 & did n see t ,i _h any?+ to rep5t (1 b ,i 0 q will+ to be re-baptiz$ if x 0 ?\ght prop]4 ,at ! same "t ,i /ipulat$ t ! ,presid5t ( ! ,conf]5ce1 ,eld] ,m>sd51 %\ld be baptiz$ ) me4 ,i felt t if ,i requir$ re-baptiz+1 h[ mu* m necess>y 0 x = ,eld] ,m>sd5 to h 8 s9s wa%$ away also4 ,i p>tly believ$ 9 ! fe>ful /ories t ,i _h he>d f ,zion1 b x 0 he :o _h %[n !m to me4 ,! ,pa/or ( ! ,conf]5ce gave no sign t he suspect$ my mean+ 9 wi%+ ,eld] ,m>sd5 to be baptiz$ at ! same "t z ,i 01 ?\gh ,i believe he mu/ h =m$ a pretty %rewd guess4 ,& s we two w5t d[n into ! wat]1 b ,i am afraid t little ( our s9s 0 wa%$ away4 ,n long aft]1 ,presid5t ,m>sd5 apo/atiz$1 & my he>t rema9$ z h>d z ev]4 ,at lea/ ,i 0 frequ5tly told s4 ,poor ,eld] ,m>sd56 ,he 0 br&$ ) ! mo/ opprobri\s titles :i* ,mormon +5uity or malice c\ld fl+ aga9/ him3 & yet ,i "k ( _m m5--n "o nor two1 associat$ mo/ intimately ) ,brigham ,"y to-day1 ^: fai? is n a :it /rong] ?an t apo/ate's1 :o s]ve ! ,prophet because x is _! int]e/ to d s1 b :o 9 _! he>ts no m believe 9 8 high pret5sions ?an did ,james ,m>sd51 ! ,presid5t ( ! ,london ,conf]5ce4 ,mean:ile1 ! season = emigration _h aga9 arriv$1 & we 7 direct$ to hold ourselves 9 read9ess to />t4 ,al?\gh by no means unexpect$1 ?is 8c\nsel0 to emigrate came v pa9fully to me1 = e /ep we took t[>ds ,utah seem$ to br+ me ne>] to ! realization ( my wor/ appreh5sions4 ,i _h lo/ my affection = ,mormonism1 & my en?usiasm _h n[ q melt$ away4 ,b to refuse to g 0 altoge!r out ( ! "q4 ,two little ones _h be5 add$ to our family 9 ,g5eva1 & a f\r? 0 born 9 ,london1 ! ,*ri/mas ,day aft] our return f ! cont95t4 ,! foggy atmosph]e ( ! metropolis did n agree ) !m at all1 accu/om$1 z !y _h be51 to ! pure & brac+ air ( ,switz]l&1 & ,i soon _h s]i\s illness 9 my family4 ,my second little girl1 ,m9nie1 0 s sick t we almo/ despair$ ( h] life1 & ! o!rs requir$ con/ant att5tion2 :ile ! little baby boy1 only a few weeks old1 0 seldom out ( my arms4 ,j !n x 01 :5 s v awkw>dly situat$1 t ! notification came = u to set our faces ,zionw>d4 ,!y *id$ u = our want ( fai?1 because we did n take our poor little sick *ild f h] b$ at ! risk ( life2 b ,i ?ank ,god n[ t nature 0 /rong] ?an our fanaticism1 & t our little girl 0 sp>$ to gr[ up a bless+ ( :i* we %all ev] be pr\d4 ,"o day1 ,presid5t ,m>sd5 came to me confid5tially1 & told me t ! bre?r5 7 det]m9$ t ,i %\ld leave ,engl&1 & _h c\nt$ ^u my yield+ 9 a mom5t ( despair4 ,my husb& 0 to be c\nsell$ to g )\t me to ,utah1 if ,i p]si/$ 9 my refusal4 ,aft] he _h left ,london1 ,eld] ,m>sd5 0 to give me notice to leave 8 h\se2 & left de/itute1 & entirely among /rang]s1 x 0 ?\ght t ,i %\ld be only too glad to foll[4 ,i _c tell h[ indignant ,i 02 ,i c\ld n f9d words suffici5tly contemptu\s to express :at ,i felt2 ,i reproa*$ ,eld] ,m>sd5 ) c[>dice = agree+ to su* an inhuman proposition1 & ,i decl>$ t ,i w\ld n risk ! life ( my *ild if an et]nity ( suff]+ await$ me4 ,my husb& 0 abs5t :5 ?is took place2 b :5 he return$ he approv$ ( :at ,i _h done1 & ,eld] ,m>sd5 0 consequ5tly 8c\nsell$0 to s5d u away4 ,! doctor w>n$ u aga9/ ! dang] ( expos+ my little daught] to ! cold 9 remov+ h]2 b we _h no *oice1 = we 7 oblig$ to leave4 ,^? 7 v pa9ful times4 ,con/ant wat*+ & anxiety _h und]m9$ my own heal?1 & ,i fell ill4 ,ev5 !n1 _h we be5 left alone we might h escap$ mu* ( our tr\ble2 b ! incessant m$dl+ ( 8c\nsel0 0 a p]petual irritation1 & we 7 completely worn out ) annoyance4 ,a pleasant ap>tm5t at ! we/ end ( ! t[n 0 tak5 = me1 by ! advice ( ! m$ical man1 & ,i 0 remov$ ?i!r ) my baby4 ,i 0 n equal ev5 to ! task ( tak+ c>e ( t little ?+1 & _h to procure ! assi/ance ( a nurse2 ! o!r *ildr5 7 c>$ = by fri5ds4 ,all t ,i ne$$ 0 re/ & tranquillity ( m9d1 & ,i soon began to recov] /r5g?1 ?\gh f> f well4 ,b ?is /ate ( quietude 0 soon to be di/urb$4 ,aga9 we 7 notifi$ t ! la/ emigrant %ip ( ! season 0 ab\t to leave1 & we mu/ sail 9 h]2 & aga9 we 7 oblig$ to refuse4 ,my husb& telegraph$ to ! ,apo/le at ,liv]pool t ,i 0 n well en\gh to travel1 & he 0 told to 8br+ me along1 & ,i %\ld get bett]40 ,! ,apo/le 767 c>$ no?+ = individual suff]+ provid+ ! ambiti\s plans ( ! prie/hood 9 ,salt ,lake ,city 7 c>ri$ out4 ,b my husb&1 anxi\s ?\gh he 0 to set out = ,utah1 & ob$i5t z he ev] 0 to 8c\nsel10 0 n su* a slave z !y ?\ght him1 & he positively refus$ to g4 ,= ?is he 0 v mu* blam$1 & x 0 said t 8 own fai? mu/ be wav]+4 ,s9ce my arrival 9 ,london ,i _h sev]al times se5 my "y fri5d1 ,m>y ,burton4 ,%e _h1 z %e told me 9 h] lett]s1 v greatly *ang$1 = %e _h n[ become q a "y lady4 ,/ill %e reta9$ mo/ ( h] w9n+ ways1 ?\gh h] *ildi% prett9ess _h giv5 place to ! m mature beauty ( womanhood2 & :5 ,i saw h] ,i 0 n surpris$ t %e %\ld be an object ( att5tion1 or t ,eld] ,%rewsbury %\ld h felt s deeply h] rejection ( him4 ,i also _h a visit f ano!r p]son1 :om ,i little expect$ to see4 ,?is 0 no o!r ?an ,eld] ,%rewsbury himself1 :o1 ,i _h be5 told1 _h left ,london "s mon?s be=e4 ,?is1 he said 0 q true2 he _h left ,london1 & gone to "w z a mission>y hundr$s ( miles away2 try+ to =get 8 disappo9tm5t1 b to no purpose4 ,8 0 "o ( ^? natures :i*1 ?\gh k9d & consid]ate to e "o1 are n ready to =m ha/y atta*m5ts1 b :i*1 :5 once !y d meet ) an object ^u :i* to lavi% _! affections1 became devot$ 9 fri5d%ip & un*ang+ 9 love4 ,_! affections fl[ m deeply ?an ^? ( mo/ p4 ,su* 0 ,eld] ,%rewsbury1 & su* ,i ?\ght he w\ld always be2 b :at disposition1 h[ev] good1 c be reli$ ^u :5 influ5c$ by religi\s fanaticism8 ,he /ood be=e me1 !n1 manly & upright 9 8 be>+1 tru?ful & hone/--a man :o w\ld h scorn$ evasion or deceit2 & 8 e ?\ght ( ,m>y 0 replete ) t5d]ness & love4 ,& yet ,i liv$ to see t man aga91 9 ,utah--alas1 h[ *ang$ a man6 ,be=e we fir/ left ,engl& ,i 0 acqua9t$ ) ,eld] ,%rewsbury1 b n v intimately4 ,we _h _h "o or two int]e/+ conv]sations toge!r1 b ,i rememb]$ him *iefly 9 connexion ) ,m>y ,burton4 ,x 0 ab\t h] t he n[ came to see me2--he want$ me to talk to h]1 & int]c$e ) h] 9 8 behalf4 ,b ,i 0 no mat*-mak]1 & all my ?\ghts respect+ love & m>riage _h rec5tly be5 any?+ b pleasant4 ,i told him pla9ly t ,i ?\ght ,m>y _h done q "r 9 refus+ to see him1 &1 9 fact1 decl9+ to receive ! att5tions ( any ,mormon man4 ,i did n d\bt 8 love = h] at pres5t1 ,i said2 b no "o c\ld any long] rely ^u a ,mormon ,eld]'s ^w4 ,ye>s to come1 :5 !y _h a little family gr[+ up ar\nd !m1 & :5 x w\ld be too late = ,m>y to rep5t ( tru/+ him1 he might sudd5ly be conv9c$ ( ! necessity ( obey+ ! ,revelation1 & !n :at c\ld %e d8 ,no6 ,ev5 suppos+ t %e lov$ him1 :i*1 ,i said1 0 v que/ionable1 x 0 bett] t %e %\ld suff] a disappo9tm5t n[1 ?an h h] he>t wrung ) cruelty & neglect 9 aft]-ye>s4 8,:at60 he cri$1 8 eyes da%+ ) indignation2 8d y take me = a dog t ,i %\ld treat h] s80 8,no1 no10 ,i said1 & tri$ to pacify him2 8,i d n ?9k any?+ bad ( y1 b ,i look ^u y z a man :o is 9 love1 & !re=e bl9d4 ,y ?9k ( no?+ n[ b ,m>y1 & are will+ to sacrifice ev]y?+1 & to promise any?+1 provid+ y c w9 h]4 ,b :5 %e has become y\r wife1 if %e ev] does1 & y h "t to cool d[n1 y'll beg9 to see ?+s 9 ano!r light4 ,y'll f9d t %e is only an ord9>y woman1 made ( fle% & blood1 l all ! o!r daught]s ( ,eve1 & )1 ,i d>esay1 q z _m :ims1 & fancies1 & p]v]se ways z any ( !m2 & !n1 :5 %e ceases to be #8an angel' 9 y\r eyes1 & becomes m]ely a woman1 y'll beg9 to ass]t y\r "r to ?9k & judge = y\rself1 & v probably all y\r =m] devotion to y\r religion w return40 8,si/] ,/5h\se10 he repli$1 8y d n seem to h a v high op9ion ( my con/ancy2 b ,i c assure y t ,i h giv5 ?is matt] my mo/ e>ne/1 pray]ful ?\ght4 ,my love = ,m>y ,i ne$ n m5tion2 my devotion to my religion y only p>tly "k4 ,:ile we 7 told t ,polygamy 0 n true1 no "o c\ld be m /eadfa/ 9 ! fai? ?an ,i 02 & :5 ! ,revelation came1 ,i look$ ^u x z a blight & a curse to ! ,*ur* ( ,god4 ,& h[ well-f\nd$ my fe>s 71 y c see f ?is t]rible apo/asy :i* has come ^u u4 ,i almo/ myself left ! ,*ur*4 ,!n ,i w5t to ! ,apo/le1 & ,i told him h[ ,i 0 situat$4 ,i told him all ab\t ,m>y1 & my devotion to h]2 t ,i wi%$ to w9 h] = my wife1 b t ,i knew %e w\ld n m>ry me if %e ?\ght !re 0 ! %ad[ ( a *ance t ,i %\ld live up to ! ,revelation4 ,i told him t ,i myself %\ld be p]fectly wret*$ 9 ,polygamy1 & t x 0 impossible t ,i %\ld love m ?an "o4 ,! ,apo/le said t ,i 0 q "r 9 all ?is4 ,we _h no pro(1 he said1 9 ! ,bible1 t ,isaac _h m ?an "o wife1 & he 0 accept$ ( ,god4 ,he c\nsell$ me to d all ,i c\ld to w9 ,m>y1 & told me t ,i might tru?fully promise h] t ,i w\ld nev] ent] into ,polygamy4 ,b ,m>y w\ld n s mu* z li/5 to me2 9 fact1 s9ce !n %e nev] w\ld see me alone40 8,i am n sure10 ,i answ]$1 8:e!r ,i am do+ "r2 b ,i don't m9d say+ to y t ,i ?9k1 f :at ,i h se5 ( ,m>y1 t %e does n dislike y2 b %e is a s5sible girl1 & does n *oose to risk ! happ9ess ( h] :ole life40 ,he 0 vex$ ) me = say+ ?is4 ,h[ c\ld ,i suppose t he w\ld wreck h] happ9ess8 ,0 he n will+ to die if x w\ld give h] a mom5t's pleasure8 ,& mu* m lov]'s nons5se he talk$4 ,,*apt] ,,xi4 ,,emigrat+ ,,to ,,zion3--,,we ,,arrive ,,9 ,,new ,,york4 ,! aft]noon foll[+1 ,m>y h]self came to see me1 h] face all flu%$ ) excitem5t1 & eag] to tell me some?+4 8,:om d y ?9k ,i've be5 talk+ to1 ,si/] ,/5h\se80 %e exclaim$4 8,y'd nev] guess40 8,i don't ?9k !re's mu* ne$ = guess+10 ,i said4 8,y\r face betrays ! secret1 ,m>y40 8,well10 %e said1 8p]haps x does1 b y w\ldn't wond] at x1 if y only knew h[ v anxi\s ,i h be54 ,all ?is "t ,i h kept my ^w1 & ,i did n see him or speak to him once1 except at meet+s1 & n mu* !n1 & ,i h be5 v unhappy4 ,?is aft]noon ,i came r\nd ab\t an h\r ago to see y1 & !re on ! /ep 0 ,eld] ,%rewsbury4 ,he said he 0 "h ye/]day1 & 0 j go+ to call on y aga91 & !n he ask$ me to g a little way ) him1 z he _h some?+ v important to say to me4 ,at fir/ ,i refus$ to g1 b he w\ldn't li/5 to x = a mom5t4 ,s ,i w5t ) him1 & we h be5 talk+ ev] s9ce2 or r he has be5 talk+1 & ,i h be5 li/5+ to him4 ,i c't tell y1 ,si/] ,/5h\se1 all he said--y c guess bett] ?an ,i c tell y4 ,b ,i'm afraid ,i %all n be able to keep my resolution mu* long]1 = :5 we came back to ! door aga9 he said he w\ldn't come 9 to see y n[1 & :5 he begg$ me to let him call at ,mrs4 ,elswor?'s to-morr[ night1 ,i did n feel x 9 my he>t to refuse him2--0 x v wrong ( me to d s80 ,said ,i1 8,i'm afraid1 ,m>y1 my op9ion w\ld n matt] mu* ei!r way2 ,eld] ,%rewsbury's eloqu5ce is ! music :i* y l be/ to li/5 to40 ,%e blu%$1 & came & sat d[n beside me1 & we talk$ toge!r until ! sun w5t d[n & my little room 0 q d>k4 ,i told h] ( my tr\bles 9 ,switz]l&1 & ( ! mis]able effects ( introduc+ ,polygamy !re2 & %e 9 return told me all h] love affairs ) ,eld] ,%rewsbury & ( h] resolution n to li/5 to him unless he solemnly promis$ nev] to h any?+ to d ) ! hat$ ,revelation4 ,h] fai? 9 ,mormonism itself _h1 z ,i expect$1 be5 v sev]ely %ak52 & ,i ?9k t _h x n be5 = my ef=ts to reassure h]1 %e w\ld h left ! ,*ur* at t "t4 ,w\ld to ,god %e _h4 ,aft] tea1 %e said1 8,h y a copy ( ! ,revelation "h1 ,si/] ,/5h\se8 ,i want to %[ y "s /rong po9ts 9 x :i* ,i ?9k w a/oni% y4 ,i le>n$ all ab\t x f ,eld] ,%rewsbury t night :5 he came to see me1 & x 0 t t disgu/$ me ) ! :ole affair40 ,we se>*$ ?r\gh my trunk b c\ld n f9d ! docum5t1 & ,i told h] t ,i _h n pati5ce to read x q ?r\gh :5 x 0 giv5 to me1 & t s9ce !n ,i 0 n sure t ,i _h ev5 se5 x4 8,nev] m9d10 %e said2 8,i'll br+ x ) me :5 ,i come aga940 ,h[ (t5 h ,i ?\ght s9ce h[ mu* dep5d$ ^u t trifl+ circum/ance4 ,_h we !n toge!r read ov] ! ,revelation & notic$ ! 8/rong po9ts0 ( :i* %e spoke1 ,i believe my eyes w\ld h be5 op5$1 & ,i nev] %\ld h submitt$ to ! mis]y :i* ,i aft]w>ds endur$ 9 ,utah4 ,t[>ds ! end ( ! ye> #ahee x 0 det]m9$ t a company ( ,mormon emigrants1 numb]+ sev]al hundr$s1 %\ld leave ,liv]pool en r\te = ,salt ,lake ,city2 & = t purpose a vessel 0 *>t]$ e>ly 9 ,novemb]4 ,?is 0 n ! ord9>y season = emigration1 b !re 7 !n 9 ,engl& numb]s ( ! ,sa9ts1 anxi\s to g to ,zion1 b too poor to pay _! passage all ! way4 ,x 0 ?\ght t :5 !y arriv$ 9 ,new ,york !y w\ld h "t to e>n suffici5t to c>ry !m on1 & x 0 !n suppos$ !y c\ld jo9 ^? :o came ov] by ! ord9>y spr+ emigration4 ,my husb& & myself 7 c\nsell$ to jo9 ^! emigrants 9 ,liv]pool & proce$ at once to ,new ,york4 ,! ,mormons 9 ,london 7 v k9d to u be=e we left1 & did all !y c\ld to help u 9 prep>+ = our j\rney4 ,a k9d] p ?an ! ,sa9ts 9 ,europe c\ld n[h]e be f\nd4 ,my husb& _h be5 direct$ to take *>ge ( ! emigrants 9 ! transit f ,london to ,liv]pool1 & consequ5tly ,i receiv$ no assi/ance f him4 ,x seem$ to me a v cruel arrangem5t = ! ,eld]s to take away f me & my helpless little ones ! v p]son to :om we ought naturally to h turn$ = protection2 b :at 7 ! feel+s ( a weak woman :5 !y came 9 conflict ) ! 8c\nsel0 ( inspir$ ,apo/les8 ,we arriv$ at ,liv]pool ! same ev5+1 & !re my husb& 0 reliev$ ( ! *>ge ( ! company1 & "s ( ! bre?r5 7 appo9t$ to see t ! baggage 0 safely transf]r$ f ! railway to ! %ip4 ,e>ly ! next morn+ we w5t on bo>d1 & x 0 n long be=e we began to exp]i5ce ! pleasures 787 ( an emigrant life4 ,be=e we set out = ,liv]pool1 ,i _h be5 told t on bo>d %ip ,i %\ld be able to obta9 all ! 8help0 t ,i might desire2 &1 anxi\s to provide = ! com=t ( ! *ildr51 ,i engag$ ! s]vices ( two "y girls to look aft] !m & assi/ me g5]ally4 ,?is 0 an imprud5t /ep1 z ,i aft]w>ds f\nd to my co/2 b at ! "t ,i ?\ght t ,i _h made a v s5sible arrangem5t4 ,help be+ secur$1 my next ?\ght 0 to get our b]?s fix$1 s t all might be ready be=e ! roll+ ( ! %ip began4 ,my fir/ inquiries 7 = our b$d+2 b x 0 n[h]e to be f\nd4 ,n[ ?is 0 v annoy+1 = we 7 all tir$1 & ! *ildr51 poor ?+s1 7 fidgetty2 & anticipat+ a long & unpleasant voyage1 ,i want$ to h ev]y?+ 9 read9ess4 ,besides :i* ,i _h made special prep>ations 9 ! %ape ( _m additional com=ts :i* ,i knew on bo>d %ip w\ld be absolutely necess>y1 & _h ev5 sold my wat* & jewell]y = t purpose4 ,i inquir$ ( ! prop] au?orities1 b c\ld obta9 no in=mation1 & no?+ rema9$ b = me to wait until ! ,apo/le came on bo>d to bid a f9al adieu to ! emigrants4 ,i felt ?is annoyance all ! m1 z ,i consid]$ t we _h no "r to expect su* mismanagem5t4 ,we w\ld naturally h pref]r$ to make our own arrangem5ts & to g alone1 _h we be5 p]mitt$ to d s2 b we _h1 ov] & ov] aga91 be5 in/ruct$ n to g by any o!r vessel ?an t *>t]$ by ! ,apo/le ,ri*>ds1 t s we might escape ! p]ils :i* 7 sure to ov]take ! ,g5tiles4 ,imag9e our disgu/ :5 we f\nd t z !re 7 n en\gh ( ! ,sa9ts to occupy ! :ole %ip1 ! l[] deck 0 fill$ ) ,iri% emigrants ( a v l[ ord]1 & t _! luggage & ours _h be5 ?r[n toge!r indiscrim9ately into ! hold4 ,mo/ ( ! ,mormon emigrants recov]$ _! prop]ty :5 !y arriv$ at ,new ,york2 b z = our own1 p]sonally1 we nev] saw x aga91 & all ! voyage ?r\gh we 7 left utt]ly de/itute4 ,no?+ rema9$ b = me to put ! be/ face ,i c\ld ^u matt]s4 ,i took my we>+ app>el & o!r articles out ( ! trunks & put !m into pill[-slips1 & extemporiz$ z well z ,i c\ld a r\gh sub/itute = b$s4 ,^! s]v$ = ! *ildr51 & ,i cov]$ !m ) my cloaks & %awls2 & = our own b]?s & b$-cov]+ ,i _h only a few pieces ( c>pet :i* ,i put aside = ! cab9 floor1 toge!r ) a worn-out blanket :i* an old lady on bo>d 0 good en\gh to l5d me4 ,?is 0 our go+ to ,zion4 ,we _h n be5 long at sea :5 ! "y si/]s :om ,i _h engag$ to help me fell sick1 & "s ( ! bre?r5 7 v anxi\s to nurse !m4 ,?is appe>$ to be q ! e/abli%$ ord] ( ?+s1 = ,i !n f\nd t x 0 v seldom t a ,mormon emigrant %ip cross$ ! ocean )\t "o or m m>riages on bo>d4 ,x 01 no d\bt1 v int]e/+ to !m1 b to me x 0 extremely inconv5i5t1 especially consid]+ t my husb& _h n[ tak5 to 8 b]?1 :i* he did n leave dur+ ! rema9d] ( ! voyage1 & myself & ! *ildr5 7 n mu* bett] (f4 ,sick z ,i 01 ,i _h to prep>e our food & manage ev]y?+1 = 9 ^? times emigrants ei!r took out _! own provisions or 7 all[anc$ 9 raw mat]ial1 & 9 ei!r case _h to d _! own cook+4 ,my *ief difficulty 0 9 gett+ :at ,i _h prep>$ to ! fire-galley1 = ,i c\ld n leave ! *ildr51 & ,i 0 afraid to v5ture myself ^u deck4 ,s ,i got any ( ! bre?r5 :o *anc$ to be pass+ to take x up1 & ( c\rse !y 7 will+ to oblige me2 b ! galley 0 s cr[d$--e "o hav+ 8 or h] own int]e/ to att5d to--t ,i v r>ely1 if ev]1 _h my provisions dec5tly cook$1 & on m ?an "o occasion ,i nev] saw !m aga94 ,?is 0 an inconv5i5ce :i* emigrants d n suff] at ! pres5t day4 ,unsuccessful ) ! "y si/]s1 ,i ?\ght ,i w\ld try if ,i c\ld n get "o ( ! bre?r5 to help me1 & =tune at fir/ appe>$ to fav\r me4 ,!re 0 on bo>d a "y man--,h>ry !y call$ him--& he 0 s situat$ t ,i f\nd x easy to op5 a negotiation ) him4 ,he _h be5 a saddl]'s appr5tice 9 a c\ntry t[n 9 ,engl&1 & hav+ li/5$ to "s it9]ant prea*]1 _h be5 conv]t$1 jo9$ ! ,*ur*1 & began to ?9k = himself4 ,s he>+ t t]rible judgm5ts 7 quickly com+ ^u ! ,old ,_w1 he resolv$ to flee to ! ,new1 & 9 8 hurry to get !re he =got to in=m 8 ma/] t he 0 ab\t to leave4 ,?is acc\nt$ = 8 be+ s badly provid$ =4 ,n[1 ,h>ry _h ^? two great bless+s--a spl5did appetite & unimpea*able p[]s ( dige/ion4 ,i w n say t he enjoy$ ^! two bless+s1 = t he did n1 on acc\nt ( lack+ a ?ird bless+1 namely1 ! :]e)al to make ! fir/ two bless+s a pleasure1 & n an inconv5i5ce4 ,! %ip's all[ance 0 altoge!r insuffici5t = him1 & he !re=e gladly engag$ to d :at few ?+s ,i requir$ ^u condition t ,i %\ld add a little to 8 own private commiss>iat4 ,h>ry 0 a sm>t lad & at fir/ v useful1 & he soon conv9c$ me t he _h told ! tru? :5 he said t he _h n _h en\gh to eat ev] s9ce he came on bo>d--x seem$ to me v que/ionable :e!r he ev] _h be=e4 ,he _h1 h[ev]1 no?+ to compla9 ( 9 t respect :ile 9 our employm5t2 = al?\gh ! *ildr5 7 able to eat :5ev] we _h any?+ fit = !m1 my husb& & myself c\ld seldom t\* our rations1 & z ev]y?+ t 0 n us$ fell to ,h>ry's %>e1 he f>$ pretty well4 ,h>ry 0 n ! lad to neglect 8 own int]e/s1 & z our int]e/s appe>$ j !n to be 8 also1 matt]s work$ v h>moni\sly4 ,our bread 0 nev] n[ br\ght back to u half raw or burnt to a c9d]4 ,x mu/ be prop]ly cook$ = our eat+ or x w\ld n d = ,h>ry's2 & z = x be+ lo/ or delay$ on its way to or f ! galley1 t 01 ( c\rse1 q out ( ! "q4 ,b ! /range/ ?+ ( all connect$ ) ,h>ry 0 t imm$iately aft] 8 com+ we 7 incessantly annoy$ by ! rats4 ,i _h br\ght = ! *ildr5's use a small supply ( pres]ves & o!r little delicacies2 b ^! my/]i\sly disappe>$ ) al>m+ rapidity2 & :5ev] ,i sav$ any trifle = ! *ildr5 to eat betwe5 meals1 t also 0 gone :5 x 0 want$1 & 9 e in/ance ,h>ry sugge/$ t x 0 8! rats10 ?\gh ,i nev] c\ld f9d any traces ( ^? int]e/+ animals4 ,i 0 sorry to "p ) ,h>ry1 = he us$ to tell funny /ories to ! *ildr51 & amus$ !m a great deal2 b 8! rats0 & ,h>ry 7 s closely associat$ 9 my m9d1 t ,i ?\ght if ,h>ry left ! rats might p]haps also cease _! visits4 ,s ,h>ry w5t1 & ,i 0 once m left alone to d ! be/ ,i c\ld4 ,! wea!r 0 v cold1 & we felt its sev]ity v mu*4 ,! rigg+ ( ! %ip 0 hung ) icicles1 &1 )\t fire or w>m? ( any sort1 x is no wond] t we all 7 soon h>dly able to move f cold & sickness4 ,9 ! mid/ ( my tr\ble ,i 0 told ( an anci5t ,scot* si/]--a maid5 lady1 %>p & %rewd--:o1 l ! mis] 9 ,scott's 8,=tunes ( ,nigel10 0 will+ to help u 8= a consid]ation40 ,x 0 agre$ t %e %\ld give me h] s]vices = ! rema9d] ( ! voyage2 & ! 8consid]ation0 0 to be two p\nds ,engli%4 ,small z 0 our /ock ( money1 & mu* z ,i knew we %\ld ne$ x ^u our arrival1 ,i felt t ,i c\ld d no bett] ?an engage h]4 ,!re 0 no say+ ^u :om %e might *ance to set h] maid5 fancy1 b !re 0 n ! remote/ *ance ( any ( ! bre?r5 fall+ 9 love ) h]2 s ,i consid]$ h] a safe inve/m5t1 &1 besides1 ,i mu/ h somebody--!re 0 no alt]native4 ,x 0 n[ ,*ri/mas "t--a season sacr$ to joy\s memories & fe/ivities2 b to u1 exiles & w&]]s1 seek+ a l& ( :i* we knew no?+1 & :i* to u 0 a new & untri$ _w1 x 0 f> f be+ a happy "t4 ,9 ! mid/ ( ! wild1 dre>y ocean !re 0 no?+ to recall ! pleasant rem9isc5ces ( ! pa/1 or to inspire u ) hope & c\rage z we ?\ght ( ! future4 ,! capta9 told u t we might prep>e to eat our ,*ri/mas d9n] 9 ,new ,york2 b he 0 mi/ak5 9 8 calculations4 ,we did n eat our ,*ri/mas d9n] 9 ,new ,york1 z he _h promis$4 ,a /orm came on1 :i* compell$ u to /& out to sea aga91 & !n a dead calm foll[$1 & x 0 n until ,new ,ye>'s eve t we set foot ^u ! %ore ( ! ,new ,_w4 ,,*apt] ,,xii4 ,,life ,,9 ,,new ,,york3--,,conduct+ ,a ,,mormon ,,pap]4 ,v cold1 & d>k1 & dre>y1 7 ! fir/ days :i* we sp5t 9 ! ,new ,_w4 ,t fai? :i* once _h l$ me to hope1 & believe1 & 8endure all ?+s10 0 n[ p[]less to n]ve me to any new c\rse ( action = my religion's sake2 = ! d>k %ad[ ( ,polygamy _h come across my way2 hope _h fl$1 & my love1 ) ! love ( _m o!r fai?ful ,sa9ts1 _h wax$ cold4 ,to my husb& & *ildr5 ,i 01 ( c\rse1 devot$ly atta*$1 & 0 will+ to combat any difficulty or endure any trial ) !m1 or = _! sake2 & x 0 n long be=e my con/ancy 0 put to ! te/4 ,! ,mormon emigrants h always a ,capta9 & two 8,c\nsellors0 to e company4 ,! ,capta9 on bo>d ! 8,em]ald ,isle10--! vessel 9 :i* we came--0 a return+ ,utah ,eld]2--"o ( 8 ,c\nsellors 0 also a return+ ,eld]1 & my husb& 0 ! o!r4 ,z soon z ! ,mormon ,capta9 _h come on %ore1 & _h report$ to ! ,apo/le 9 *>ge ( ! ,new ,york ,sa9ts1 he left to visit 8 fri5ds4 ,! ,utah ,c\nsellor _h a "y lady 9 ! company to :om he _h become v mu* atta*$1 & :o aft]w>ds became "o ( 8 wives4 ,i 0 n1 !re=e1 surpris$ t1 z soon z he c\ld get 8 baggage1 he also %\ld disappe>2 b my husb&--! o!r ,c\nsellor--be+ encumb]$ ) a wife & family1 0 oblig$ to rema91 & ! :ole *>ge ( see+ to ! company devolv$ ^u him4 ,we _h1 !re=e1 to rema9 9 ,ca/le ,g>d5s until ! :ole company ( emigrants 0 provid$ =2 & dur+ all ! next week ,i1 ) my f\r *ildr51 rema9$ 9 t public place1 sick & we>y1 & z de/itute ( b$d+ & cov]+ z we _h be5 on bo>d %ip4 ,! wea!r 0 int5sely cold1 &1 unaccu/om$ z we 7 to ! sev]ity ( an ,am]ican w9t]1 we suff]$ n a little4 ,! o!r un=tunate victims to fai? 7 9 ! same condition1 ) ! exception t !y _h some?+ to sleep on at nights1 :ile ,i _h no?+ b ! b>e bo>ds = my b$ s9ce we left ,liv]pool2--all t ,i c\ld ga!r toge!r _h be5 res]v$ = my babes4 ,h[ we liv$ ?r\gh t j\rney ,i "k n1 b ,i am c]ta9 t1 c\ld ,i h =ese5 :at we %\ld h to endure1 ,i w\ld nev] h left ,engl&1 :atev] my refusal might h co/ me4 ,i c\ld n refra9 f contra/+ my life be=e & s9ce ,i knew ,mormonism4 ,be=e1 ,i sc>cely knew :at suff]+ 01 s little _h ,i be5 call$ ^u to endure4 ,i nev] knew :at x 0 to be )\t money1 or to want = any?+2 b n[ ,i 0 9 a /range l&1 9 ! dep? ( w9t]1 )\t a home1 )\t a pill[ to re/ my we>y head ^u1 & ) a future be=e me s d>k t n a s+le ray ( light gave to x ! promise ( hope4 ,c\ld any slav]y be m complete ?an m9e8 ,my fanaticism & zeal 7 all gone--,i _h no?+ to su/a9 me4 ,c]ta9ly1 ,i 0 /ill held by ! fe> t ,mormonism1 aft] all1 might be ( ,god1 & t all ?is suff]+ might be necess>y = my salvation--b if at t "t ,i _h only _h a fri5d ^: m9d 0 cle> f all ! nons5se ( ,mormonism1 & :o _h felt suffici5t int]e/ 9 me to advise me = my good1 ,i ?9k ev5 !n ,i might h fre$ myself f ! m5tal slav]y 9 :i* ,i 0 b\nd4 ,b ,i _h no int]c\rse ) any b ,mormons2 &1 inde$1 a wi% to =m ,g5tile fri5d%ips ,i %\ld !n h consid]$ a s94 ,a week aft] our arrival1 my husb& f\nd "t to seek = ap>tm5ts = 8 family1 & ,i 0 ?ankful to leave our mis]able qu>t]s at ,ca/le ,g>d5s4 ,! ,mormon au?orities _h1 mean:ile1 giv5 in/ructions to ! o!r emigrants h[ to act1 & !y did little m ?an ?is4 ,^? :o _h n f\nd "w or places to g to 7 ord]$ to leave ! g>d5s1 & receiv$ p]mission to occupy an old dilapidat$ s*ool-room 9 ,williamsburgh1 :i* _h be5 us$ = prea*+4 ,i w5t !re almo/ daily to see !m1 & !re=e /ate :at ,i saw z an eye-witness1 & nei!r exagg]ate nor misrepres5t4 ,!re !y huddl$ toge!r1 ab\t "o hundr$ & fifty--m51 wom5 & *ildr54 ,mo/ ( ! m5 _h be5 respectable me*anics 9 _! own c\ntry2 _m ( !m ,i _h kn[n p]sonally & _h visit$ 9 _! cosy ,engli% homes2 & _! wives & families _h be5 dec5tly br\ght up4 ,:at !y mu/ h suff]$ "u ?is *ange ( circum/ances ,i leave ! read] to guess4 ,9 t mis]able place !y liv$ day & night--! poor1 dispirit$ mo!rs 7_m ( !m v sick7 hav+ to cook1 & wa%1 & p]=m all ! necess>y dome/ic duties1 r\nd two small %eet-iron /oves4 ,x 0 n long be=e ! place became l a pe/-h\se f s _m be+ conf9$ 9 s small a place1 & brea?+ ! same fetid & pe/il5tial atmosph]e2 & _m ( ! "y *ildr5 di$ ( an epidemic :i* 0 rag+ among !m4 ,!y _h sav$ "s ( ! %ip's provisions1 & t 0 all !y _h to eat1 & x did n la/ long4 ,to me x 0 mo/ di/ress+ to witness s mu* mis]y )\t be+ able to r5d] any assi/ance1 p>ticul>ly to see ! poor little *ildr5 %iv]+ & cry+ ) hung] & cold1 :ile _m ( _! mo!rs 7 9 su* a mis]able /ate ( apa?y t !y paid little or no att5tion to !m4 ,i (t5 tri$ to awak5 9 !m feel+s ( human sympa?y1 b ,i 0 met ) a murmur ( discont5t4 ,! p1 m5 & wom5 alike--seem$ to be utt]ly demoraliz$4 ,nor c ?is be a matt] ( wond]2 = 9 ,engl& ! m5 _h be5 told t--:ile at home !y c\ld only e>n f\r or five %ill+s a day1 & w\ld nev] be able to put by en\gh to c>ry !m all ! way to ,utah--9 ,new ,york !y w\ld be able to e>n two-&-a-half to ?ree1 & ev5 f\r doll>s a day--equal to f t5 to sixte5 %ill+s ,engli%--& t employ]s w\ld ev5 come on bo>d %ip anxi\s to engage !m4 ,?us !y _h by false /atem5ts be5 allur$ f _! homes & plung$ into ! mo/ abject pov]ty4 ,day by day !y w5t out seek+ "w1 b f9d+ none2 will+ to d any?+ to provide bread = _! families1 b return+ nightly1 unsuccessful1 to _! />v+ wives & *ildr54 ,my own res\rces 7 gone4 ,i c\ld d no?+4 ,:5 we left ,ca/le ,g>d5s ,i ?9k we only _h ab\t five doll>s left1 :ile ! heavy sn[ :i* cov]$ ! gr\nd & ! int5se cold promis$ _m weeks ( unusual sev]ity4 ,ne$+ s greatly pity myself1 h[ ,i sympa?iz$ ) ^? poor suff]]s1 h[ ,i piti$ !m6 ,9 ! mid/ ( all ?is1 ! ,apo/le ,john ,taylor le>n$ t "s ( ^! poor s\ls _h be5 se5 begg+4 ,s he came f 8 com=table bo>d+-h\se 9 ,brooklyn1 well wrapp$ up 9 a h&some ov]coat1 & scold$ ^! poor1 />v+ creatures1 & h>angu$ !m conc]n+ ! meanness ( begg+4 ,) great swell+ words he spoke ( ! dignity ( ! ,sa9ts ( ! ,mo/ ,high1 & told !m t he despis$ a ,mormon :o c\ld fall to ! level ( a common /reet begg>4 ,c\ld he h he>d ! unspok5 curses ( ! poor1 w\nd$ he>ts ( ^? :o li/5$ to him1 z !y ?\ght ( 8 bro!r 8,apo/le0 9 ,engl&1 & ( h[ he _h deceiv$ !m & s5t !m into a /range c\ntry1 9 ! dep? ( w9t]1 to beg1 to />ve1 or to /eal1 he w\ld h le>n$ t ?\gh ! victim ( a delusive fai? may m5tally submit to man-made cre$s & prie/hoods1 9 8 he>t he w judge1 n s mu* ! words he he>s z ! man :o utt]s !m4 ,! wisdom ( ! ,apo/le f\nd out a rem$y4 ,he 8c\nsell$0 ! m5 & boys to buy %ovels1 & g =? into ! /reets & clean away ! sn[ f ! fronts ( ! doors & f ! side-walks1 & told !m t !y w\ld ?us get pl5ty ( money to keep !m until w9t] 0 ov]4 ,"o eld]ly bro!r1 :o _h a little money left1 b\ght a /ock ( %ovels2 b ! emigrants f\nd t !re 7 pl5ty ( o!rs :o 7 z eag] z !y = "w1 & :o 7 mu* bett] acqua9t$ ) ! way ( obta9+ x4 ,! %ovel exp]im5t 0 a failure1 & ! poor old bro!r lo/ 8 money 9 ! inve/m5t4 ,= :atev] ! ,apo/le ,taylor may h contribut$ to ^! un=tunate p]sons--:e!r 9 8c\nsel10 money1 or provisions--he w d\btless h 8 rew>d2 &1 = aught ,i "k1 he may h be5 unable to give any?+ m ?an c\nsel2 b1 at ! same "t1 my op9ion ( ! value ( c\nsel rema9s un*ang$4 ,!re has be5 no lack ( 8c\nsel0 or c\nsellors 9 ! ,mormon ,*ur*4 8,c\nsel0 has be5 giv5 9 abundance to all1 & by no means always = ! b5efit ( ^? :o receiv$ x4 ,x 0 n1 h[ev]1 because he fail$ to assi/ !m practically t ! p hat$ ! ,apo/le ,taylor1 & h hat$ him ev] s9ce2 b x 0 = 8 pride & arrogance1 & ! way 9 :i* he d>$ to talk to free-born ,engli%m5 & ,engli%wom5 ab\t ! dignity ( ! ,prie/hood1 & ! contempt 9 :i* he held !m 9 ! h\r ( _! humiliation & di/ress--= t !y hat$ him4 ,i d n1 ( c\rse1 wi% to ju/ify ! p 9 begg+2 su* conduct w\ld h be5 despicable if !y c\ld h f\nd employm5t ( any sort4 ,b :5 ,i saw ! />v+ condition ( ^? m5 & _! helpless families1 9 t wret*$ s*ool-h\se1 9 my he>t ,i almo/ hon\r$ !m = hav+ ! c\rage to beg2 & ,i ?ank$ ,god t ! 8mean ,yankee ,g5tiles0--z ! ,eld]s taught ! ,sa9ts to call ,am]ican citiz5s :o did n believe 9 ,mormonism--7 able & will+ to assi/ !m4 ,"o ( ^? emigrants v rec5tly relat$ to me "s ( ! pa9ful circum/ances ?r\gh :i* he pass$ at t "t4 ,he told me t he walk$ ! /reets ( ,williamsburgh = ?ree days & ?ree nights )\t a m\?ful ( any?+ to eat1 or a place to lay 8 head2--he c\ld obta9 no "w1 & at l5g?1 9 %e] desp]ation1 he 0 =c$ to beg4 ,! ,*ur* au?orities knew well ! mis]y ( ! p1 b took no adequate /eps to alleviate x4 ,dur+ ! fir/ weeks aft] our arrival 9 ,new ,york city1 we _h no?+ to dep5d ^u b ! provisions :i* we _h sav$ f ! %ip's rations4 ,i _h kn[n :at x 0 to be 9 a =eign c\ntry )\t money & )\t food2 & on bo>d %ip ,i took c>e ( our rations :5 !y 7 n consum$ by ,h>ry or 8! rats20 = ,i ?\ght t if ,i did n ne$ !m--:i*1 inde$1 ,i s9c]ely hop$ might be ! case--,i c\ld c]ta9ly f9d "s "o :o w\ld be ?ankful = !m4 ,^! rations consi/$ *iefly ( sug> t 0 almo/ black2 v bad black tea1 :i* :5 made look$ l dye2 ! poore/ k9d ( sea-biscuit2 & o!r ?+s accord+ly4 ,! provisions = ! ,mormon emigrants 7 pur*as$ 9 bulk by ! ,*ur* au?orities1 :o made _! own pr(its out ( !m1 & ! ,apo/le at ,liv]pool _h ! b5efit ( all t c\ld be sav$ out ( !m dur+ ! voyage4 ,x 0 commonly said among ! p t ! sight ( !m alone 0 q suffici5t = any "o :o 0 n half-/>v$2 & yet !y _h paid ! price ( ! be/4 ,we _h be5 9 ,new ,york sev]al weeks :5 "o day my husb& call$ at ! (fice ( a pap] call$ ,! ,mormon1 & !re met ) ! ,apo/le ,taylor1 :o conduct$ t pap]4 ,! ,apo/le express$ great regret t ,mr4 ,/5h\se %\ld be )\t occupation at t season ( ! ye>1 & ) a family ( *ildr5 ^u 8 h&s4 ,?is sympa?y1 com+ f a bro!r ,mission>y 01 ,i ?\ght1 v t>dy1 = my husb& _h !n devot$ ov] t5 ye>s ( 8 life to ! cause1 & 8 record 9 ! ,*ur* _h be5 unt>ni%$4 ,! ,apo/le 0 liv+ 9 an elegant h\se1 surr\nd$ by e com=t & luxury1 :ile he knew t we _h n s mu* z a *air1 or ev5 a b$ to lie ^u4 ,:at _h he done = ! ,*ur* m ?an my husb& _h done8 ,inde$1 ,i firmly believe t he _h n endur$ half s mu*1 b--he 0 an ,apo/le6 ,8 unhelp+ sympa?y appe>$ to me a little m ?an que/ionable4 ,he told my husb& t he might come into ! (fice ( ,! ,mormon1 & write ! addresses on ! wrapp]s1 & t he w\ld give him a few doll>s a week 8to help ?+s along10 until some?+ bett] pres5t$ itself4 ,my husb& ?\ght ?is a dis9t]e/$ action on ! "p ( ! ,apo/le ,john ,taylor1 b my exp]i5ce 9 ,mormonism l$ me to be di/ru/ful & suspici\s ( ev]y?+ t an ,eld] or ,apo/le said or did4 ,?is (f]1 h[ev]1 came :5 we really _h no?+ to look to1 & d>$ n refuse any assi/ance t 0 (f]$1 h[ev] small x might be4 ,b ,i mu/ admit t my ideas ( ,apo/olic lib]ality 7 v mu* %ock$ :5 at ! end ( ! week ,mr4 ,/5h\se in=m$ me t he _h be5 all[$ f\r doll>s = 8 s]vices1 & t out ( t magnific5t sum ! ,apo/le ,john ,taylor _h d$uct$ tw5ty-five c5ts :i* %e] necessity _h compell$ him to borr[ = ! week's f]riage4 ,! ,apo/le-editor _h two assi/ants f ,utah ) him 9 ,! ,mormon (fice--! "o a 8,sev5ty10 & ! o!r a 8,high-,prie/0--t]ms & titles :i* ,i %all pres5tly expla94 ,a few weeks aft] my husb& ent]$ ! (fice1 ! 8,sev5ty0 :o _h *>ge ( gett+ out ! pap] 0 all[$ to return to ,zion4 ,! ,high-,prie/ rema9$ 9 ! ,ea/]n ,/ates visit+ alt]nately ! v>i\s bran*es ( ! ,*ur*1 & do+ "s v zeal\s c\rt+ ) a "y ,engli% girl :o liv$ 9 ,williamsburgh1 :ile 8 two unsuspect+ wives at home 9 ,salt ,lake ,city 7 e>ne/ly pray+ ! ,"l to bless him 9 8 8mission40 ,:atev] ! ,apo/le may h ?\ght ( 8 associate1 he c\ld n v well remon/rate ) him1 = he himself 01 & _h be5 = "s "t1 do+ a good deal 9 t l9e ) an amiable ,connecticut girl1 & 0 only wait+ = special p]mission f ,brigham ,"y1 to add h] to ! half-doz5 wives he already _h 9 ,utah4 ,!re 01 moreov]1 ano!r ,high-,prie/ atta*$ to t (fice1 b no "o seem$ to und]/& 8 exact position4 ,to all appe>ance 8 pr9cipal occupation 0 travell+ f ,new ,york to ,connecticut & f ,connecticut back aga9 to ,new ,york4 ,he 0 a v robu/-look+ man1 b x 0 report$ t he 0 tr\bl$ ) he>t-disease1 & t ! pur] air ( ,connecticut 0 a great relief to him4 ,?is ,i fully believ$ :51 "s "t aft]1 ,i discov]$ t ! "y lady engag$ to ! ,apo/le _h a *>m+ si/]1 = ,i ?\ght x v probable t %e r5d]$ no small assi/ance to ! ,connecticut air 9 giv+ relief to 8 diseas$ he>t4 ,my husb& n be+ at t p>ticul> "t "u ! influ5ce ( 8he>t-disease10 soon became v useful on ! editorial /aff4 ,9 fact1 pretty well ev]y?+ 0 left to him1 & n unfrequ5tly = two or ?ree days he saw no?+ ( ! ,apo/le or ei!r ( 8 associates1 & ! :ole responsibility ( gett+ out ! pap]--at ! magnific5t sal>y ( f\r doll>s a week6--re/$ ^u him4 ,he 0 told t he mu/ reg>d x z a mission1 & be prep>$ to act accord+ly4 ,9 c\rse ( "t1 h[ev]1 ! visits to ,connecticut came to an end4 ,! ,apo/le obta9$ ,bro!r ,brigham's p]mission to practise a little ,polygamy among ! ,g5tiles1 & ,miss ,"y made him an excell5t h\sekeep] 9 a h&somely furni%$ h\se 9 ,brooklyn4 ,! poor ,high-,prie/ & ! ,sev5ty did n f>e s well3 !y 7 expect$ to wait until !y rea*$ ,zion4 ,! two "y ladies to :om !y 7 engag$ 7 amiable & good girls1 :o w\ld )\t d\bt h met ) excell5t husb&s ei!r 9 or out ( ! ,*ur*2 b ! "n ( an ,apo/le or ,high-,prie/--:5 ! m5 !mselves 7 away f home--c>ri$ ) x _m *>ms1 & won ! he>ts ( ! "y ladies & _! fri5ds4 ,! ,apo/le 01 ( c\rse1 well us$ to ! tra9+ ( wives 9 ! 8cele/ial ord]10 & :5 he return$ home ) 8 y\nge/ bride he suff]$ no p>ticul> inconv5i5ce4 ,b ! ,high-,prie/s realiz$ ! tru? ( ! adage 8,! c\rse ( true love nev] did run smoo?40 ,! fir/ wife ( "o ( !m refus$ to h any?+ to d ) 8 new bride1 & kept him at a respectful di/ance f h]self !n & ev] aft]w>ds2 :ile ! fir/ wife ( ! o!r decl9$ to ackn[l$ge ! claims ( h] y\?ful rival4 ,! fir/ ,high-,prie/ has gone to heav52 ! o!r1 9 ! c\rse ( "t1 gave a bill ( divorce to 8 wife4 ,:at happ9ess ei!r ( ^! ?ree girls f\nd 9 ,polygamy !y be/ "k1 b ! "y wid[ appe>s decid$ly ! happie/ ( ! ?ree4 ,i _h he>d mu* :ile 9 ,london ab\t m5 tak+ wives 8f pr9ciple10 & t1 aft] ! fir/ wife1 !y made no op5 display ( _! love1 b ,i c\ld n see t !y diff]$ 9 ! slighte/ f _! ,g5tile bre?r5 9 t respect2 ! ,utah ,eld]s ( :om ,i h spok5 always seem$ to be v human4 ,9 all ,polygamic c\rt%ips t ,i h s9ce witness$1 ! bre?r5 h appe>$ to ?9k t ! 8,"l's0 revelation 0 a trifle too sl[ 9 arrang+ affairs ( ! he>t1 & !y h be5 zeal\sly prep>+ = its com+4 ,9 "s in/ances ! revelation has come too late1 & 9 _m o!rs x w\ld h be5 v disa/r\s if x _h n come at all4 ,9 all cases x may be safely ass]t$ t all t has be5 said ab\t gett+ ! cons5t ( ! fir/ wife & obta9+ a revelation f ! ,"l z to :e!r x is pleas+ 9 ,8 sight = a man to take ano!r wife1 or n--is pure folly & nons5se4 ,brigham ,"y is ! only 8"l0 :o has ev] be5 consult$ on t "q4 ,if he ackn[l$g$ ?is to ! p & !y *ose to abide by x1 !y alone w\ld be to blame2 b x is ! grosse/ ( frauds = m5 claim+ to be ! repres5tatives ( ,jesus ,*ri/ to play ^u ! cr$ulity ( an hone/ p1 trifl+ ) ! mo/ sacr$ subjects1 & tell+ !m t ,god answ]s by special revelation & decl>es :e!r or n x is ,8 w t ea* ( ^! plural m>riages %\ld take place4 ,! ,apo/les & ,eld]s !mselves are n deceiv$4 ,!y "k well en\gh t !re is no tru? 9 all ?is mock]y2 !y "k t ! only s\rce ( all _! revelations is ! man ,brigham ,"y4 ,,*apt] ,,xiii4 ,,sa9tly ,,pilgrims ,,on ,,! ,,way--,,! 8,,div9e0 ,,h&-,,c>t ,,s*eme4 ,"o ,sunday morn+ 9 e>ly spr+ ,i att5d$ a meet+ ( ! ,sa9ts 9 ,williamsburgh4 ,my husb& 0 !re1 & took "p 9 ! s]vice1 & s did ! ,apo/le ,taylor1 & "o or two o!r ,utah ,eld]s4 ,i w5t to t meet+ 9 a v despond+ /ate ( m9d1 = our prospects s9ce ! day ( our arrival _h n bright5$ v mu*1 & ,i felt ! ne$ ( "s com=t+ & *e]+ words4 ,:e!r x 0 ! influ5ce ( ! cle> spr+ morn+1 or t ! ,eld]s _h notic$ ! depression ( _s among ! ,sa9ts1 ,i _c tell1 b ,i "k t on t p>ticul> occasion _! words seem$ to me m e>ne/ & enc\rag+ ?an !y _h be5 = a long "t pa/4 ,z we came out f ! meet+1 ,bro!r ,b5ton1 "o ( ! ,eld]s1 /epp$ up to my husb&1 & said1 8,bro!r ,/5h\se1 !y are expect$ to arrive to-night or to-morr[2 ,i suppose y w be d[n at ! #8,g>d5s' to meet !m40 ,i knew well en\gh :o 8!y0 7 :o 7 expect$ to arrive1 & s did ,mr4 ,/5h\se4 8,yes10 he said1 8( c\rse ,i %all be !re1 b mo/ likely we %all h to wait a few days be=e !y come40 ,!n he /opp$ & talk$ ov] ! matt] ) ,eld] ,b5ton4 ,n[ x *anc$ t at t "t ,brigham ,"y 0 try+ an exp]im5t4 ,! 8,prophet ( ! ,"l0 sometimes f9ds x necess>y--not)/&+ ! 8revelations0 :i* he is suppos$ to receive--to try exp]im5ts l o!r m5 be=e he c feel sure t 8 plans are likely to succe$4 ,! only diff]5ce betwe5 him & o!r m5 is1 t he--kn[+ himself t 8 plans are 8 own inv5tions1 or ! inv5tions ( ! lead]s--gives out t !y come direct f ,god1 !reby deceiv+ ! ignorant1 innoc5t1 & confid+ p2 & :5 8 plans fail1 z !y (t5 d1 he nev] confesses t he is wrong or mi/ak51 b lays all ! blame on "s o!r p]son1 or1 fail+ t1 on 8! ,"l0 or ! devil4 ,o!r m51 z a rule1 say no?+ ab\t 8! ,"l0 or devil1 b :5 _! exp]im5ts fail !y frankly confess t !y !mselves 7 n inspir$1 b 7 liable to err4 ,t is all ! diff]5ce4 ,9 ! pres5t in/ance ,brigham ,"y tri$ an exp]im5t ^u a r l>ge scale4 ,up to ! ye> #ahef ! ,mormon emigrants made ! j\rney f ! ,fronti]s across ! ,pla9s by ox-teams1 z ,i h already describ$1 & e season "s ( ! weal?i] ,mormons =m$ !mselves into an indep5d5t company1 paid _! own exp5ses1 & travell$ ) m com=t4 ,! exp5se to ! poor] emigrants 0 v small1 = !y p]=m$ ! great] "p ( ! j\rney on foot--! ox-teams be+ us$ = transport+ provisions & baggage--"o hundr$ p\nds ( ! latt] be+ all[$ to ea* emigrant4 ,?is 8plan0 01 s f>1 a success1 & ! settlem5ts ( ! ,sa9ts increas$ !reby1 sl[ly b surely1 9 population & weal?4 ,!re 71 h[ev]1 at t "t1 ?\s&s ( ,sa9ts 9 ,europe anxi\s to emigrate1 b :o 7 too poor to provide ! small sum requisite = t purpose4 ,dur+ ! w9t] ( #ahee ?is difficulty 0 discuss$ 9 ,conf]5ce by ,brigham & ! lead+ m5 9 ,salt ,lake1 & "s "o sugge/$ :at 0 aft]w>ds kn[n z ! 8,h&-,c>t ,s*eme40 ,! idea ( ?is 8s*eme0 0 to transf] ! p f ,liv]pool to ! ,fronti]s 9 ! *eape/ possible way1 & = !m !n to cross ! ,pla9s ) light-made h&-c>ts1 j /rong en\gh to c>ry ! fewe/ possible necess>y articles1 b suffici5tly light = ! m51 wom51 & ev5 "y girls1 to draw !m4 ,?is 8plan0 w\ld n p]haps h be5 a bad "o if x _h be5 prop]ly c>ri$ out1 & if ,brigham ,"y _h se51 z he might h done1 t suitable prep>ations 7 made be=eh&4 ,b ! ,h&-,c>t ,emigration ,s*eme began ) a lie & end$ 9 ru94 ,! confid+ ,sa9ts 7 told t 8,god0 _h specially inspir$ ,8 s]vant ,brigham = ?is purpose1 & ! s*eme 0 a revelation direct f on high4--,no prop] measures 7 tak5 to provide = ! emigrants--all 0 done ^u fai?--fai? on ! "p ( ! p 9 _!--z !y suppos$--inspir$ lead]s2 deception on ! "p ( ^? lead]s t[>ds ! p1 ^: only fault 0 t !y tru/$ !m too well4 ,! ,mill5nial ,/> proclaim$ ! 8plan0 to ! ,sa9ts 9 ,europe1 & s great 0 ! response to ?is special summons t 9 t ye>--#ahef--;x 0 r\ghly e/imat$ t no few] ?an five or six ?\s& ,mormon emigrants travell$ f ,liv]pool to ,salt ,lake ,city4 ,x 0 ! fir/ company ( ^! emigrants t ,bro!r ,b5ton allud$ to :5 he told ,mr4 ,/5h\se t 8!y0 7 expect$ t night or ! next2 b 9 ^? days emigrant vessels 7 frequ5tly delay$ by adv]se w9ds & o!r circum/ances1 & no "o c\ld calculate ^u ! exact "t ( _! arrival 9 port4 ,! foll[+ morn+1 my husb&1 :5 he return$ f ! ,mormon (fice1 br\ght ) him a lett] be>+ ! ,engli% po/m>k1 & address$ to me 9 ! neat unmi/akable h&writ+ ( ,m>y ,burton4 ,i _h be5 wait+ & wat*+ = a lett] f h] ev] s9ce our arrival2 ,i 0 anxi\s to he> f h]1 & ,i ha/ily tore x op51 s impati5t 0 ,i to "k h[ %e 0 gett+ on4 ,:at ,i read int]e/$ me deeply1 ?\gh x did n surprise me4 ,i _h se5 ,m>y _m times aft] ! int]view :i* ,i h already relat$1 & our conv]sations & discussions 7 to u ( all-absorb+ int]e/2 b z !y 7 mo/ly p]sonal ,i h n c>$ to record !m 9 ?is n>rative4 ,to tell ! tru?1 h] love affairs ) ,eld] ,%rewsbury occupi$ m & m ! mo/ prom95t place 9 all our discussions4 ,8 en?usiasm 0 p]fectly infecti\s4 ,z long z ,m>y absolutely refus$ to see him1 h] love = him & h] fai? 9 ,mormonism 7 any?+ b ov]p[]+4 ,b ,eld] ,%rewsbury 0 "o ( ^? peculi> p]sons :o h a sort ( magnetic *>m ab\t !m2 :o1 )\t our kn[+ x1 or ev51 9 "s in/ances1 contr>y to our w & reason1 enli/ all our sympa?ies & leave beh9d !m an impression t we va9ly try to efface4 ,he only want$ opportunity1 & 8 success 0 sure4 ,opportunity he _h _h = press+ 8 suit ) ,m>y & mak+ an impression ^u h] he>t1 ev] s9ce ! day :5 !y met at my door1 & _h tak5 t walk toge!r1 z ,m>y said1 = ! purpose ( discuss+ important matt]s4 ,n[ ! lett] :i* ,i receiv$ op5$ to me ano!r *apt] 9 ,m>y's life1 :i* )\t ! gift ( prophecy ,i might h easily pr$ict$4 ,eld] ,%rewsbury's pati5ce & p]sev]ance met ) _! due rew>d1 & ,m>y at l5g? promis$ to become 8 wife2 b fasc9at$ ?\gh %e 01 & h]self almo/ z deeply 9 love z he 01 %e nev]!less made "o condition :i* %[$ t %e _h n entirely lo/ t prud5ce & det]m9ation :i* %e _h %[n 9 ! e>ly days ( _! c\rt%ip4 8,:5 he spoke to me 9 t way--y "k h[1 ,si/] ,/5h\se0--%e said 9 h] impulsive way1 8,h[ c\ld ,i p]si/ 9 say+ ,no to him8 ,x wasn't 9 my he>t to d s4 ,i didn't say #8,yes' 9 s _m words1 b ,i simply said no?+1 & he took my sil5ce = cons5t4 ,!n--b no1 ,i won't ev5 tell y ev]y?+4444 ,i "k he ?\ght he 0 go+ to h x all 8 own way2 b ,i didn't ?9k s4 ,i told him !n t ,i _h firmly resolv$ ^u "o ?+--t ,i nev] w\ld m>ry him unless he made a solemn v[ & promise be=e ,god t he w\ld nev] ent] into ,polygamy4 ,i c\ld n hide f him t ,i lov$ him--he knew x & c\ld see x2 b ,i said ,i nev] w\ld g to ,utah alone1 & ,i c]ta9ly nev] w\ld m>ry at ! risk ( my husb& tak+ ano!r wife4 ,no2 ,i 0 will+ to give him my he>t1 my all--x 0 only fair = him to d ! same by me4444 ,he 0 v ne> me !n1 & my h& 0 9 82 & he 0 look+ into my eyes4 ,!n he :isp]$ ! promise ,i _h ask$ ( him1 &1 de> ,si/] ,/5h\se1 ,i "k ,i c dep5d ^u 8 ^w4 ,we %all be happi] 9 ?is _w by ourselves1 & we feel q sure t ,god w n ask u to d any?+ 9 heav5 t w\ld make u mis]able4 ,p]haps ,i oughtn't to say ?is1 b ,i'm s happy t ,i _c all[ myself "o s+le wret*$ d\bt ab\t ! future or my husb&1 su* z ,i us$ to h4444 ,we 7 m>ri$ on ! #bg? ( ,janu>y4444 8,& n[ we are gett+ ready = ,zion1 & are busy day & night4 ,( c\rse y h he>d ( ! 8,div9e ,plan0--! ,h&-,c>t ,s*eme4 ,oh1 ,si/] ,/5h\se1 ,i am s v1 v mu* a%am$ ( myself = all ! wick$ ?+s t ,i us$ to say ab\t ! ,apo/les & ! ,eld]s4 ,s9ce our m>riage1 ,eld] ,%rewsbury has expla9$ ev]y?+ to me1 & set ?+s 9 _! "r light4 ,x is a glori\s privilege = u to be p]mitt$ to ga!r to ,zion1 & n[ t ,i "k my de> husb& w nev] ev5 ?9k ( ano!r besides myself1 ,i glory 9 ! ?\ght ( leav+ ! ,g5tile _w & all its wick$ness4444 8,we g ) ! fir/ company ?is season4 8,i w tell y all ! re/ ( ! news :5 ,i meet y1 de>40 ,s ,m>y ,burton 0 m>ri$1 & com+ ) ! ,h&-,c>t ,company4 8,:y10 ,i said1 turn+ to my husb&1 8!y'll be "h 9 a day or two n[40 8,p]haps to-day10 he repli$4 ,!y did n1 h[ev]1 arrive ei!r t day or ! next2 b t[>ds ! end ( ! week we 7 told t _! vessel 0 9 ! riv]1 & ,i accompani$ my husb& to ,ca/le ,g>d5s to see !m4 ,a /range spectacle 0 pres5t$ to our view4 ,m ?an six hundr$ ,mormon emigrants 7 ga!r$ !re1 all on _! way to ,zion1 & burn+ ) zeal & en?usiasm wor?y ( a bett] cause4 ,!re 7 ag$ m5 & wom51 ^: heads 7 ho>y ) ! sn[s ( _m a w9t]1 & ^: tott]+ /eps _h borne !m to ! v]ge ( ?ree score ye>s & t52 !re 7 /\t-he>t$ fa!rs & families1 & matrons ) sons & daught]s gr[+ up ar\nd !m2 !re 7 "y m5 9 ! pride & /r5g? ( manhood2 & maid5s 9 ! mode/ blu% ( womanly beauty2 & little toddl+ *ildr51 & babes 9 _! mo!rs' arms--all ob$i5t to :at !y ?\ght 0 ! comm& ( ,god ,himself--all ) _! faces set /eadfa/ly & anxi\sly ,zionw>d4 ,let n ! read] smile at ! bl9d infatuation ( ^? poor emigrants4 ,w\ld he or %e h suff]$ s confid+ly--s fai?fully--= 8 or h] religion8 ,!y might be mi/ak52 b truly !irs 0 a fai? :i* 8hop$ all ?+s1 believ$ all ?+s1 endur$ all ?+s40 ,surely1 9 ,8 sight--:o judges ! he>t--! bl9d ob$i5ce ( ^? m5 & wom5 :o 7 ready to suff] & to endure unto ! bitt] end1 because 9 _! *ild-l fai? !y ?\ght t x 0 ,8 holy w--su* practical devotion 0 m truly acceptable ?an ! =mal pr(essions ( an unte/$ fai?4 ,i met at ,ca/le ,g>d5s _m :om ,i _h kn[n 9 ! old c\ntry2 b x 0 "o p>ticul> face :i* ,i 0 anxi\s to see4 ,a man wrapp$ 9 a ?ick great coat1 & ) a fur cap ^u 8 head1 bru%$ aga9/ me2 & be=e ,i _h "t to raise my eyes1 my h& 0 grasp$ 9 81 & ,i he>d ,m>y's husb& say1 8,oh ,si/] ,/5h\se1 ,i'm s glad to see y2 ,i knew we %\ld meet y 9 ,new ,york4 ,come & see ,m>y4 ,%e's my ,m>y n[60 ,i w5t ) ,eld] ,%rewsbury & ,i saw ,m>y4 ,b oh1 h[ greatly 0 %e *ang$6 ,:5 ,i return$ f our ,swiss mission & saw h] aft] an int]val ( sev]al ye>s1 ,i 01 ( c\rse1 /ruck ) ! alt]ation :i* _h !n trans=m$ h] f a pretty little fairy-l girl into a decor\s "y lady contemplat+ matrimony2 b al?\gh ,i _h n[ be5 abs5t f ,engl& only a few mon?s1 ,i obs]v$ a mu* m /rik+ alt]ation 9 h] ?an on ! previ\s occasion4 ,x 0 n n[1 ,i ?\ght1 s mu* an outw>d & p]sonal *ange1 z a new developm5t ( h] inn] consci\sness--h] s\l itself4 ,h] =m 0 z graceful1 & h] eyes z bright z ev]2 b f ^? eyes !re n[ %one =? ano!r light ?an t :i* ,i _h ?\ght s *>m+ 9 ! by-gone "t4 ,h] affection = me 0 z w>m & demon/rative z :5 we fir/ met4 ,%e recogniz$ me 9 a mom5t1 be=e h] husb& _h "t to say a ^w2 &1 ?r[+ bo? h] arms r\nd me1 %e kiss$ me aga9 & aga9 ) all ! effusion ( h] *ildi% days4 ,tak+ my h& %e l$ me g5tly into a quiet corn] & seat$ me beside h] on a big trunk1 & !n %e began to talk4 ,x 0 ! same s(t sweet voice aga91 :i* us$ to be s de> to me :5 ,i 0 left all alone 9 ,s\?ampton1 soon aft] my m>riage1 :ile my husb& 0 on mission 9 ,italy4 ,%e told me all ! /ory ( h] c\rt%ip--all1 & mu* m1 ?an %e _h told me 9 h] lett]4 ,b x 0 :5 %e came to speak ( h] m>riage1 ( h] husb&1 & especially ( _! pilgrimage to ,utah1 t ,i obs]v$ m especially ! *ange :i* _h tak5 place 9 h]4 ,%e 0 no long] ! light-he>t$ girl1 half-d\bt+ h] /range religion1 & reject+ x altoge!r :5 x did n co9cide ) h] own ideas & wi%es4 ,no3 ,eld] ,%rewsbury--_h he be5 t5 times a ,mormon ,eld]--c\ld n h wi%$ = a m ob$i5t1 a m e>ne/1 ,i might say1 a m fanatical believ] ?an 0 n[ to be f\nd 9 8 "y & beautiful wife4 ,h] eyes really gl[$ ) en?usiasm z %e spoke ( 8! "w ( ! ,"l0 & ( 8ga!r+ to ,zion20 & h] voice1 ?\gh s(t & sweet z ev]1 _h 9 x1 n[ & !n1 a t+e ( /]nness :i* told ( a det]m9ation & _s :i* ! casual obs]v] w\ld nev] h suspect$4 ,i express$ "s surprise t %e & h] husb&1 n be+ )\t funds1 %\ld h gone ) ! ,h&-,c>t ,company :5 !y might h wait$ & h gone ) s mu* m com=t ) "o ( ! indep5d5t companies4 8,:y1 ,si/] ,/5h\se10 %e said1 8we h done x z a matt] ( fai?4 ,c]ta9ly we c\ld h af=d$ to g 9 any way we *ose1 b my husb& said we ought to be an example to ! poor] sa9ts2 s we gave away ne>ly all our money to help ! emigration fund1 & !n we came1 j z y see u1 along ) ! re/40 8,b ! dang] & discom=t is s great10 ,i sugge/$4 8,surely ! ,"l does n want u to sacrifice ourselves :5 no "o is b5efitt$ by x80 8,n a bit10 said %e2 8!re's no dang]1 ,si/] ,/5h\se1 & if !re 7 x w\ld only please me all ! m4 ,z = discom=t1 :y we %\ld h _h t any way1 & we bo? glory 9 mak+ sacrifices4 ,besides :i*1 we h be5 told by ! ,apo/le t ?is w be ! mo/ pleasant & successful j\rney across ! ,pla9s t has ev] be5 made40 8,i am a little d\btful ( ! promises ( ,apo/les & ,eld]s10 ,i said2 8& ,i rememb]1 ,m>y1 :5 y us$ to agree ) me40 8,i "k ,i did10 %e answ]$2 8b ,bro!r ,%rewsbury has %[n me h[ wrong ,i 0--,i nev] d\bt n[4 ,b ,i ?9k y h a wrong notion ab\t ?is h&-c>t s*eme4 ,x is n an ord9>y plan su* z any man might h made4 ,god ,himself reveal$ ?is plan to ,brigham1 & 9 fact we call x #8! div9e plan' 9 our songs4 ,oh1 y %\ld he> our songs6 ,!y're a little r\gh1 b ! s++ is s e>ne/ & ! voices ( ! m5 & girls bl5d s well toge!r1 t ,i "k y'd l !m4 ,!re's only "o ?+ t ,i don't l ab\t ?is plan1 & t ,i d>esay is all "r if only ,i knew x40 8,i ?9k1 ,m>y10 ,i said1 8,i c\ld tell y a good deal t y w\ldn't l if y knew x40 8,no1 de>10 %e repli$ ha/ily1 z if afraid to he> me1 8don't tell me unpleasant matt]s4 ,i'll tell y all ,i meant4 ,! ,prophet & ,heb] ,c4 ,kimball1 & ,j$$iah ,grant1 c\nsell$ ! ri*] emigrants to give z mu* z !y c\ld--all _! prop]ty1 if !y _h fai? en\gh--to help ! poor bre?r5 to emigrate2 b ! ,am]ican ,eld]s _h private in/ructions--s ,bro!r ,%rewsbury told me--to use ! money to help out all ! unm>ri$ girls :o are will+ to g4 ,i confess t ?is tr\bl$ me n a little2 b my husb& says t :5 we get to ,zion we %all f9d all w be "r1 & ( c\rse ,i believe him40 ,m>y's conv]sation puzzl$ me a good deal at ! "t4 ,%e _h =m]ly be5 s cle>-sight$ & s unbiass$ by prejudice1 & n[ %e seem$ ready to believe any?+4 ,all h] husb&'s en?usiasm 0 n[ h] own2 %e saw ) 8 eyes1 & 9 ! int5sity ( h] love = him %e believ$ all t he accept$ z true4 ,long aft]1 :5 ,i ?\ght ( t %ort int]view1 ,i call$ to m9d h] impulsive e>ne/ness1 & ,i felt t a secret misgiv+1 unconsci\sly to h]self1 0 p>tly ! cause ( x4 ,unkn[n to h]self h] excess ( zeal 0 ! (fspr+ ( d\bt4 ,life 9 ! future 0 9 anticipation to my poor fri5d "o long day ( hope & happ9ess4 ,%e c\ld n see ! %ad[ ( a cl\d--no com+ sorr[ d>k5$ h] way4 ,zion1 to h] excit$ imag9ation1 0 ! abode ( peace1 & sanctity1 & un*ang+ joy4 ,i ask$ h] :e!r ! ,sa9ts 9 ,engl& _h he>d any ( ^? /range reports ab\t ,brigham ,"y defy+ ! ,gov]nm5t1 :i* _h attract$ s mu* att5tion 9 ?is c\ntry4 8,c]ta9ly10 %e said2 8x is because ! day is s v ne> :5 all int]c\rse betwe5 ,god's p & ! ,g5tile _w %all be cut (f = ev] t ^! great ef=ts are be+ made to ga!r ! ,sa9ts to ,zion4 ,( c\rse y "k ?is1 b ,i don't ?9k y "k all4 ,:y1 at ! la/ g5]al conf]5ce 9 ,liv]pool1 ! presid5t _h in/ructions f ,salt ,lake to propose ,brigham ,"y z #8prophet1 se]1 revelator1 & ,k+6'0 8,k+80 ,i said4 8,h[ c ,presid5t ,"y ev] be #8k+'8 ,utah is "p ( ! t]ritory ( ! ,/ates1 & "u _! jurisdiction2 x is n ev5 a ,/ate itself yet1 & ,congress has refus$ to sanction ! "n ( ,des]et4 ,?is c\ntry w nev] suff] a k+dom to be set up 9 ,utah2 y mu/ be mis9=m$1 ,si/] ,m>y40 8,no1 ,si/] ,/5h\se10 %e exclaim$1 8,i am "u no mi/ake4 ,my husb& assur$ me t ! conf]5ce accept$ ! proposition1 & t x 0 receiv$ unanim\sly4 ,! ,sa9ts are ga!r+ 9 f all p>ts ( ! _w1 & :5 w> is decl>$ !y w n be f\nd unprep>$4 ,:y1 "h on bo>d ) u1 ! ,am]ican ,eld]s are all provid$ ) swords & revolv]s ( ! v be/ make t c\ld be got = love or money1 & ,i myself h he>d !m say t ,brigham ,"y int5ds %ortly to decl>e 8 indep5d5ce ( ! ,unit$ ,/ates4 ,we didn't "k ?is be=e we left ,engl&1 b we felt sure t he _h "s great purpose 9 view :i* _h be5 reveal$ to him40 8,be=e we left10 ,i said1 8! ,sa9ts 7 all eag] to emigrate40 8,yes1 de>10 %e answ]$1 8b no?+ l !y are n[4 ,y h no idea h[ excit$ & anxi\s ev]ybody is4 ,"s ( ! p1 9 ord] to obey c\nsel1 sold _! wat*es & jewell]y1 & ev5 _! be/ clo!s1 sc>cely keep+ en\gh = ! j\rney1 & e "o :o _h any money gave x away4 ,brigham ,"y set a noble example 9 t2 ev5 ! ,g5tiles w\ld admire him if !y knew all4 ,:y1 we _h on bo>d %ip ) u ,bro!r ,t5ant1 ! ri* new conv]t1 :o paid ?irty ?\s& doll>s = ! prop]ty :i* ,brigham ,"y s g5]\sly gave to help ! ,emigration ,fund4 ,he h>dly _h en\gh left to c>ry him & 8 family to ,zion2 & n[ he is go+ to cross ! ,pla9s ) u1 to settle 9 ,salt ,lake ,city4 ,he is some:]e "h among ! emigrants1 ,i believe1 at ! pres5t mom5t1 & y c\ld ask him all ab\t x if y lik$4 ,! bre?r5 assure him t ,bro!r ,brigham is s lib]al t he w get va/ly m ?an ! value ( 8 ?irty ?\s& doll>s :5 he rea*es ,zion1 & ,i hope he w1 = ,i l bo? him & 8 wife40 ,all ?is 0 ?us f> true1 b x 0 ) "s misgiv+s t ,i he>d ,m>y talk ab\t x4 ,/ill ,i tri$ to p]suade myself t x 0 a s9 to d\bt4 ,h[ little did ei!r ( u imag9e t aft] poor ,mr4 ,t5ant's mis]able dea? ^u ! ,pla9s we %\ld live to see 8 wife--de/itute & defraud$ ( h] prop]ty by g5]\s-he>t$ ,brigham--dragg+ out a mis]able exi/5ce 9 ,zion1 & dep5d5t ev5 = a cru/ ( bread ^u ! k9dness ( ! bre?r54 ,& yet1 z ,i h previ\sly /at$1 ?is 0 h[ ! ,prophet1 "u ! mask ( lib]ality1 contriv$1 = 8 own purposes1 to *eat ?is un=tunate & too-confid+ ,sa9t4 ,!n we talk$ ( :at m ne>ly int]e/$ ourselves1 & ,m>y ask$ me :5 ,mr4 ,/5h\se & myself 7 com+ out4 ,i told h] t x 0 q unc]ta91 b t we expect$ to be=e long4 8,at any rate y w come out be=e ! season is ov]80 %e said4 8,mo/ likely s10 ,i repli$2 8b y w be safely !re & settl$ be=e we arrive40 ,h[ little did %e imag9e ! fe>ful sc5es %e 0 to witness--! t]rible suff]+s %e 0 to endure--be=e ! season %e spoke ( _h pass$ away4 ,c\ld ,i at t "t h kn[n all1 ,i w\ld h pray$ t soon] ?an set out on t fe>ful j\rney %e might f9d refuge 9 ! grave f ! horrors :i*1 unkn[n to h]1 7 brood+ ov] h] way4 ,we talk$ long1 & !n my husb& jo9$ u--,eld] ,%rewsbury 0 call$ away by "s necess>y duty--& :5 we p>t$ x 0 ) _m promises to write frequ5tly to ea* o!r ( our common religi\s int]e/s1 z well z ! welf>e ( ourselves & ^? we lov$4 ,!n ,i spoke ) sev]al o!r old fri5ds1 & we ex*ang$ greet+s ) all sorts ( p1 = my husb& :]ev] he goes is always sure to be ^u speak+ t]ms ) almo/ ev]ybody he meets4 ,! ,h&-,c>t ,company left ,new ,york = ,utah--a long & =midable j\rney at be/--b 9 t in/ance1 ?r\gh mismanagem5t & neglect1 "o ( ! mo/ fatal exp$itions t imprud5t man has ev] und]tak52 & x 0 n until mon?s & mon?s _h pass$ away1 & ano!r season _h come r\nd1 t we he>d any?+ ( _! fate4 ,& "t w5t on1 b my tr\bles did n light54 ,my husb& /ill cont9u$ to "w at ! ,mormon (fice1 & aft] a :ile 8 sal>y 0 slightly increas$ f "t to "t2 b /ill 8 e>n+s 7 altoge!r inadequate = ! support ( a family1 & ,i f\nd x absolutely necess>y to obta9 "s employm5t = myself4 ,x co/ me _m a long & we>y day ( se>* & inquiry1 & _m a battle ) my pride1 be=e ,i c\ld get any?+ to d2 b at la/ ,i 0 successful1 & al?\gh my little ones requir$ con/ant att5tion1 ,i contriv$ to add a v dec5t quota to ! scanty family purse4 ,& ?us matt]s cont9u$ until ! foll[+ ye>--our life ( unc]ta9ty & c>e un*ang$4 ,little 9 my life at t "t is wor? record+3 to me x 0 "o long1 pa9ful /ruggle1 & any *ange :i* c\ld come ,i felt mu/ be = ! bett]4 ,my exp]i5ce ( ,mormonism 0 ( c\rse enl>g$ z new facts pres5t$ !mselves to my obs]vation1 & by no?+ 0 my fai? s mu* %ak5 z by ! discrepancies betwe5 ! writt5 & spok5 ,mormonism :i* 0 pres5t$ ) fair face to ! ,european ,sa9ts & ! _w at l>ge1 & ! actual conduct ( ! ,eld]s4 ,f ! fir/ mom5t :5 ,polygamy 0 ann\nc$1 ! lead]s _h /rictly =bidd5 ! mission>ies to ent] into any alliances ) ! si/]s abroad1 or to make any proposals ( m>riage to !m1 or to ent] into any matrimonial cov5ants4 ,9 ! language ( ,heb] ,c4 ,kimball--,brigham's fir/ c\nsellor--!y 7 8n to pick out f ! flock ! "y1 fair1 & t5d] lambs10 b 7 to br+ !m all safely home to ,zion4 ,?is c\nsel 0 all v well1 = x t5d$ to keep ! ,eld]s out ( mis*ief1 & af=d$ an opportunity to ! bre?r5 at home to select m & m y\?ful wives f ! fair conv]ts :o 7 ga!r$ 9 to ,zion4 ,b ! mission>ies f\nd x v irksome to obey ?is c\nsel1 & 9 po9t ( fact ^? :o did s =m$ a v small m9ority4 ,"o ( ! mission>ies :o _h j return$ f ,europe came "o day to our h\se 9 ,new ,york1 & br\ght a y\?ful si/] ) him4 ,he 0 by no means a h&some man or prepossess+ 9 8 appe>ance1 b ,i saw at once t he _h succe$$ 9 obta9+ consid]able influ5ce ov] ! "y si/]'s m9d4 ,he said %e 0 n v happy1 & he want$ h] to /ay ) "s respectable family = a week or two until !y set out = ,utah1 & ,i agre$ t %e %\ld /ay ) u4 ,%e began to play ) ! *ildr51 & took "o ( !m 9 h] arms 9 a way :i* attract$ my att5tion1 = ,i notic$ t te>s 7 9 h] eyes1 & %e excit$ my sympa?y4 ,i ask$ h] z g5tly & z delicately z ,i c\ld :at 0 ! matt] ) h]1 & :at h] sorr[ 01 & %e told me t %e h]self _h two little ones at home & 0 wret*$ at be+ p>t$ f !m4 ,%e _h obey$ c\nsel1 & _h left h] husb& & a happy home to g to ,zion4 ,%e lov$ !m all de>ly2 b1 delud$ by false tea*+s1 & promises t %e %\ld soon h h] *ildr5 aga91 %e _h /ol5 away & left !m all4 ,i reason$ ) h]1 tri$ to make h] see h[ wrongly %e _h act$1 & p]suad$ h] to return to h] husb& & seek 8 =giv5ess4 ,b x 0 all 9 va94 ,! salvation ( h] s\l %e ?\ght 0 beyond all e>?ly consid]ations2 %e mu/ /ifle ! sugge/ions ( h] he>t )9 h]2 %e mu/ ha/5 to ,zion4 ,?us %e left me1 & l _m ano!r victim1 ,i nev] expect$ to see h] aga94 ,"o morn+1 a few mon?s lat]1 ,i 0 a/oni%$ to receive a visit f h]4 ,aft] express+ my pleasure at see+ h] once m1 %e told me t :at ,i said _h s impress$ h] t :5 ! emigrants _h arriv$ at ,/4 ,l\is %e _h refus$ to proce$ any fur!r on ! j\rney1 _h writt5 to h] husb&1 _h made ev]y?+ "r ) him1 & 0 n[ on h] way back to h] home 9 ,engl&4 ,my /ory is s full ( pa9ful rem9isc5ces1 t x is ) pleasure t ,i record ?is incid5t--"o ( ! r>e cases 9 :i* folly 0 n succe$$ by utt] ru9 & mis]y4 ,alas1 h[ _m in/ances ,i might m5tion1 :i* fell b5ea? my own p]sonal obs]vation1 ( wives & mo!rs l$ away by ! delusive doctr9es :i* !y mi/ook = inspiration1 & :o s\ght va9ly1 ?r\gh ye>s ( mis]y1 = peace & re/1 until at l5g? !y f\nd x 9 ! d>kness ( ! tomb4 ,t[>ds ! end ( ! ye> #aheg1 ! difficulties 9 ,utah1 & a f9ancial panic 9 ,new ,york1 result$ 9 ! discont9uance ( ! ,mormon4 ,my husb& 0 ?us ?r[n out ( employm5t1 & to add to our difficulties ! p = :om ,i work$ susp5d$ op]ations4 ,?is new trial ( our fai?1 h[ev]1 0 n long2 out ( app>5t evil good came4 ,releas$ f 8 obligations to ! ,apo/le & ! ,mormon pap]1 my husb& n[ set e>ne/ly to "w to obta9 a liv+ )\t ! crippl+ influ5ces ( 8c\nsel0 or ! dictates ( ^? :om 8 religion taught him to respect4 ,i _h always believ$ t if suff]$ to act = himself1 8 en]gy 0 su* t he w\ld c]ta9ly c>ve 8 way to a respectable position 9 ! _w4 ,9 ?is ,i 0 n deceiv$1 ei!r at ! "t ( :i* ,i speak or at a lat] p]iod :51 9 ,salt ,lake ,city1 he engag$ 9 active bus9ess on 8 own acc\nt4 ,9 ,new ,york1 :]e he _h be51 by ?is "t1 appo9t$ ,presid5t ( ! ,ea/]n ,mission1 & 0 actively engag$ 9 advocat+ ! claims ( ! ,mormon ,*ur*1 he s\ght & f\nd employm5t on ! /aff ( ! ,h]ald1 & 9 connexion ) o!r daily pap]s2 & su* 0 8 success1 t f a condition ( mis]y & pov]ty we 7 v soon rais$ to a position ( com=t1 & surr\nd$ by e luxury suitable to our /ation 9 life2 & ?is position we enjoy$ until call$ ^u to leave all & j\rney across ! ,pla9s to ,zion4 ,our own j\rney to ,zion 0 po/pon$ = a :ile2 b n long be=e we set =?1 ,i receiv$ ! long-expect$ lett] :i* ,m>y ,burton _h promis$ me2 & z x conta9s a vivid picture ( a mode ( transit--! only mode :i* c\ld !n be us$--across ! ,pla9s1 & %[s :at p 7 =c$ to endure s rec5tly z a few %ort ye>s ago1 ,i %all give x 9 ! foll[+ *apt]2 = ,i feel sure t if ! read] did n p]use ! /ory 9 ! exact words ( my un=tunate fri5d1 he nev] w\ld believe t 9 ?is c\ntry & 9 our own times su* a t]rible trag$y c\ld h be5 enact$4 ,,*apt] ,,xiv4 ,a ,,t]rible ,,/ory3--,,! ,,h&-,,c>t ,,emigrants ,,cross+ ,,! ,,pla9s4 8,i promis$ to write & tell y all ab\t our j\rney across ! ,pla9s1 b ,i little expect$ to h su* a t]rible tale to tell4 8,y h he>d s mu* ( ! j\rney to ,salt ,lake ,valley t y "k pretty well h[ we mu/ h travell$ to ,i[a ,city1 :]e x 0 necess>y t we %\ld wait until ! :ole company 0 q ready = ! long j\rney :i* lay be=e u4 8,our life up to a c]ta9 po9t 0 mu* ! same1 & we met ) ! same difficulties z all o!r emigrants :o _h gone be=e u4 ,b !re ! comp>ison ends4 ,privation1 & toil1 & we>9ess1 & n infrequ5tly sickness & dea?1 wore out _m ( ! companies t w5t be=e u1 b !y nev] suff]$ z we did4 ,x is utt]ly impossible = me to tell y all t we w5t ?r\gh4 ,& :5 ,i f9i% ?is lett] & lay d[n my p51 & ev5 :5 y read ! fe>ful /ory ( my own exp]i5ce dur+ t j\rney1 y w /ill h b ! fa9te/ idea ( ! horrors & suff]+s :i* we endur$4 8,at ,i[a ,city we f\nd no?+ prep>$ = u4 ,:5 we left ,liv]pool we 7 told t h&-c>ts1 provisions1 & all t we ne$$1 %\ld be provid$ be=e we arriv$4 ,if ?is _h be5 done we %\ld h _h j fairly "t en\gh to travel ov] ! ,pla9s & rea* ,salt ,lake be=e ! t]rible cold ( w9t] set 94 ,z x 01 ev]y?+ w5t wrong4 ,! ,eld]s :o _h be5 s5t out be=e u to buy t5ts & c>ts & all t we want$ _h ei!r be5 un=tunate or v c>eless1 =1 z ,i said1 :5 we arriv$ 9 ,i[a ,city n ! slighte/ prep>ation _h be5 made4 8,y "k h[ /rong my fai? 0 :5 we left ,new ,york1 & h[ ,bro!r ,%rewsbury & myself 7 ready to sacrifice ev]y?+4 ,i c assure y t we 7 fully te/$1 & ,i d ?9k t b = our /rong fai? n a s+le s\l ( all t company w\ld h surviv$ t j\rney4 8,?ree companies _h1 aft] a long delay1 be5 s5t out be=e we rea*$ ,i[a ,city4 ,z x 0 !n e>ly 9 ! season1 !y complet$ _! j\rney be=e ! cold ( w9t] set 94 ,i aft]w>ds he>d t ,brigham ,"y & ! ,eld]s1 :5 !y saw ^? companies arrive safely 9 ,salt ,lake ,city1 spoke ( ! s*eme z a successful exp]im5t4 ,we _h be5 taught t ! s*eme came directly f heav51 & 0 nei!r speculation nor exp]im5t1 & :5 ,i he>d t1 aft] all1 ! ,prophet himself spoke ( x z a matt] ( d\btful issue1 ,i ask$ myself--,:om1 !n1 c we believe8 8,we wait$ ?ree weeks 9 ,i[a ,camp :ile !y 7 mak+ ! h&-c>ts4 ,!y 7 v lightly made1 & ,i ?9k n at all suitable = su* a long & we>isome j\rney2 & be+ s ha/ily put toge!r1 & mo/ ( ! wood unseason$1 !y 7 utt]ly unfit = ! r\gh "w = :i* !y 7 con/ruct$4 ,tw5ty ( ^! c>ts--"o to e five--7 all[$ to e hundr$ p]sons1 :o 7 also all[$ five good-siz$ t5ts & "o ,*icago waggon1 ) ?ree yoke ( ox51 to transport ! baggage & provisions4 ,we 7 only all[$ sev5te5 p\nds ( b$d+ & clo?+ ea*1 :i*1 ) cook+ ut5sils1 c41 made up ab\t "o hundr$ p\nds to ea* c>t1 & t 0 q z mu* z ! c>t 7itself only sixty p\nds 9 weight7 c\ld c>ry4 ,y c see1 ,si/] ,/5h\se1 h[ difficult x mu/ h be5 out ( e hundr$ p]sons--m51 wom51 & *ildr5--to f9d tw5ty :o 7 /rong en\gh to pull ev5 su* frail ?+s z ^? h&-c>ts 74 ,! m>ri$ m5 & ! "y m5 & boys did ! be/ !y c\ld1 b !y c\ld d no m1 & "s ( ! c>ts 7 drawn by "y girls alone4 8,! girls & wom5 :o _h no husb&s us$ to occupy a t5t by !mselves at night2 b 9 ! o!r t5ts1 :ole families1 )\t respect to age or sex1 toge!r ) ! "y m5 :o assi/$ !m dur+ ! day1 us$ to f9d %elt]4 ,?is y w see at once 0 exce$+ly inconv5i5t2 b we _h no *oice1 & we _h be5 s long associat$1 & _h suff]$ s mu* toge!r1 t we did n feel x z mu* z we o!rwise mu/ h done4 ,illu/ration3 8,,ga!r+ ,,to ,,zion0--,,life ,,on ,,! ,,pla9s4 ,to face p4 #abe4 8,:at we>y days we sp5t6 ,h\r aft] h\r w5t by1 mile aft] mile we walk$1 & nev]1 nev] seem$ to be a /ep ! fur!r on our way4 ,sometimes ,i recall$ to m9d a hymn :i* we us$ to s+ at ,sunday ,s*ool1 :5 ,i 0 a *ild--an ev5+ hymn 9 :i* we return$ ?anks t we 7-- #8,a day's m>* ne>] home4' 8,b day aft] day w5t by--we>ily1 hopelessly--& :5 ea* night came on1 &1 tir$ & footsore1 we lay d[n to re/1 we seem$ no ne>] to our home 9 ,zion4 8,d n ?9k1 ,si/] ,/5h\se1 t we gave way to despond5cy4 ,:at we felt1 ,god alone kn[s2 b our poor we>y he>ts 7 full ( confid+ fai? 9 ,him1 & we plac$ und\bt+ confid5ce 9 ! promises & prophecies :i* we _h receiv$ ?r\gh ,8 *os5 s]vants4 ,! "y folks 7 light-he>t$ & gay1 & ) all ! en?usiasm ( y\? !y press$ on1 ?9k+ n ( ! way b only ( ! end2 & _! example 0 mo/ enc\rag+4 8,my husb& 0 "o ( ! brave/ & true/ ( all t b&4 ,he drew ! c>t :i* we %>$ ) ano!r ,eld] & 8 wife & _! gr[n-up daught]4 ,!y 7 old p--,i mean ! ,eld] & 8 wife--& ! daught] 0 an old maid1 unpleasant1 ?91 & s\r1 & too feeble to d any?+4 ,!re 7 reasons :y ,i 0 excus$ f tak+ any %>e 9 h>d "w2 b ,i felt z zeal\s z ! re/1 & day aft] day walk$ beside my husb&1 ?9k+ t1 if no?+ m1 my companion%ip might *e] him4 ,! old folks walk$ beh9d1 & s did ! *ildr52 b sometimes1 :5 ! little ones 7 v we>y inde$1 ! p>5ts w\ld place !m on ! top ( ! b$d+ 9 ! h&-c>t1 & give !m a lift4 ,b "s ( ! eld]ly p :o 7 unus$ to walk+ f>1 & :om x 0 impossible to c>ry1 suff]$ a great deal2 & sometimes mo!rs ) *ildr5 at _! brea/s w\ld trudge on mile aft] mile 9 all ! heat & du/ )\t a murmur or compla9t1 until !y almo/ dropp$ d[n ) fatigue4 ,:at "s ( ^? poor creatures suff]$1 no words c\ld tell4 8,! sun %one d[n ^u u ) int5se heat z we travell$ ?r\gh ,i[a1 & ! p f ! f>m-h\ses & villages came out to see u1 & wond]$ at our ra%ness 9 und]tak+ su* a j\rney4 ,!y 7 v k9d to u1 & came & visit$ u 9 our camps1 & (f]$ "s ( ! m5 "w & good wages if !y w\ld /ay !re in/ead ( go+ on to ,zion4 ,a few ( ! p accept$ ^! (f]s2 b ! ,eld]s1 z y may suppose1 wat*$ c>efully e company & e man2 & 9 ! ev5+1 :5 meet+s = pray] & prea*+ 7 held1 we 7 e>ne/ly exhort$ to ob$i5ce1 & ! s9 ( act+ ^u our own judgm5ts 0 set =? 9 ! v pla9e/ t]ms4 ,! k9dness ( ! ,i[a p1 h[ev]1 enc\rag$ u1 & !y freely gave to ^? :o mo/ ne$$ :atev] !y c\ld to help u on our way4 8,& we ne$$ help & sympa?y4 8,( c\rse1 ) only "o waggon to c>ry all ! provisions = a hundr$ p]sons1 besides five t5ts1 our supply ( food 0 v limit$4 ,at t p]iod ( ! j\rney ! gr[n-up p 7 all[$ t5 ounces ( fl\r a day & a little--& b a v little--c(fee1 sug>1 rice1 & bacon4 ,?is 0 a v scanty all[ance = p :o all day long _h to draw ! h&-c>ts or to trudge mile aft] mile 9 all t burn+ heat & du/--b we nev] compla9$4 ,"s ( ! m5 ate all _! rations at breakfa/1 & w5t )\t any?+ m until ! next morn+1 unless !y 7 able to beg a little ( "s fri5dly f>m] by ! way4 ,! little *ildr5 receiv$ j half z mu* z ! o!rs4 ,) a v small am\nt ( managem5t ?is inconv5i5ce might c]ta9ly h be5 avoid$1 = provisions ( all sorts 7 v *eap 9 ! di/ricts ?r\gh :i* we pass$4 ,"s ( ! m ?\ghtful sa9ts1 ,i "k1 felt v bitt]ly ! inju/ice ( ?is2 =1 z y are aw>e1 we _h paid all our exp5ses 9 full--ev5 to ! utt]mo/ f>?+2 & we _h be5 promis$ 9 return a safe & suffici5t outfit ) pl5ty ( provisions1 & 9 fact all t 0 necess>y4 ,_h we be5 left to ourselves1 we %\ld ( c\rse h provid$ = e cont+5cy2 b we came 9 ob$i5ce to c\nsel "u ! direction ( ! ,*ur*1 & aft] we _h paid = ev]y?+2 ! ,*ur* ev5 #8took c>e' ( our money1 s t we !re=e c\ld n procure necess>ies by ! way1 z o!rwise we might h done4 8,?us we>ily1 & suff]+ n a little privation1 we travell$ all ?r\gh ,i[a1 until we came to ! ,miss\ri riv] & encamp$ at ,flor5ce1 a place ab\t six miles nor? ( ,omaha1 & !re we rema9$ ab\t a week1 prep>+ = our j\rney across ! ,pla9s4 8,x 0 ! middle ( ,augu/ :5 we arriv$ at ,flor5ce1 & we _h be5 delay$ s mu* on ! way t x appe>$ to _m ( ! m exp]i5c$ t x w\ld n[ be ! height ( imprud5ce = u to cross ! ,pla9s at t season4 ,) old p1 delicate wom51 & little *ildr51 & )\t c>riages ( any sort--except ! frail h&-c>ts t c>ri$ our b$d+--x w\ld be a we>y1 long "t1 be=e we c\ld rea* ,salt ,lake4 ,e /ep mu/ be trudg$ on foot1 & x 0 q impossible t we c\ld walk _m miles a day1 :ile !re 0 be=e u a j\rney ( ov] a ?\s&4 ,"s ( ! ,eld]s propos$ t we %\ld settle :]e we 71 or some:]e ne> by1 until ! foll[+ spr+1 & !n g on to ,zion2 b o!rs :o 7 m confid5t urg$ t we %\ld proce$ at once4 ,! ,eld]s call$ a great meet+ to settle ! matt]1 at :i* we 7 all pres5t4 8,i %\ld tell y t :5 we fir/ />t$ our :ole company 0 plac$ "u ! guidance ( ,eld] ,james ,g4 ,willie z capta92 & we 7 aga9 subdivid$ into five p>ties ( ab\t "o hundr$ ea*1 & ov] e hundr$ 0 plac$ an ,eld] or sub-capta94 ,! fir/ hundr$ 0 head$ by ,eld] ,atwood1 ! second by ,levi ,savage1 ! ?ird by ,william ,woodw>d1 ! f\r? by ,john ,*islett1 & ! fif? by ,eld] ,ahm5s54 ,ab\t two hundr$ ( ! p 7 ,scot* & ,sc&9avians2 ne>ly all ! re/ 7 ,engli%4 ,all 7 assembl$ at ! meet+4 ,y "k1 ,si/] ,/5h\se1 h[ meet+s 7 held at home4 ,well1 x 0 j ! same !re4 ,we1 ( c\rse1 _h no?+ really to say--we _h only to obey c\nsel & sanction ! decision ( ! lead+ ,eld]s4 ,i us$ to feel annoy$ r at t sort ( ?+ 9 ,london1 z y may rememb]2 b n[1 :5 life & dea? dep5d$ ^u ! wisdom ( our decision1 ) all my fai?1 ,i felt worse ?an annoy$1 wick$ z ,i h no d\bt x 0 = me to feel s4 ,my husb& nev] utt]$ a ^w1 b ,i "k he felt mu* z ,i did1 & 9 t he 0 n alone among ! ,eld]s4 8,we _h nei!r vote nor influ5ce--! ,eld]s held our de/9y 9 _! h&s4 ,9 all our company !re 7 only ?ree or f\r m5 :o _h be5 out to ,salt ,lake be=e1 & ( c\rse !y c\ld n be ov]look$1 s !y gave _! op9ion at ! meet+4 ,!y mu/ h fully kn[n ! dang]s & difficulties ( ! way1 & :at h>d%ips mu/ ov]take a company s scantily provid$ = z 0 ours1 if we cont9u$ our j\rney4 ,b1 = all t1 !y n only spoke slight+ly ( ! dang] :i* ?reat5$ u1 b prophesi$1 9 ! "n ( ! ,"l1 t we %\ld pass ?r\gh triumphantly & suff] nei!r loss nor h>m4 8,"o man alone--,levi ,savage--d>$ to tell ! tru?4 ,p well-m\nt$1 or ev5 ) good ox-teams1 c\ld safely & easily make ! j\rney1 he said2 b = a b& ( p l ourselves1 ) ag$ folks1 & wom51 & little *ildr51 to attempt x s late 0 little %ort ( madness4 ,he /rongly urg$ t we %\ld take up our qu>t]s !re = ! ,w9t]1 :51 he said1 z soon z spr+ came on1 we c\ld safely & successfully p]=m ! rema9d] ( our j\rney4 8,! o!r ,eld]s ?\ght t he 0 weak 9 ! fai?1 & pla9ly told him s2 & "o ( !m ev5 said1 #8he'd eat all ! sn[ t fell betwe5 ,flor5ce & ,salt ,lake ,city4' ,! p1 ( c\rse1 believ$ )\t "q :at !y 7 told to believe1 = !y _h long ago made up _! m9ds t ! lead]s 7 inspir$1 & !re=e !y d>$ n d\bt !m1 & ! prud5t c\nsel ( ,bro!r ,savage 0 reject$ accord+ly4 ,i 0 n ne> en\gh to he> 8 words1 b ,i 0 aft]w>ds told t he said1 #8,:at ,i h said1 ,i "k is ! tru?2 b z y are c\nsell$ to g =w>d1 ,i w g ) y2 ,i w "w1 & re/1 & suff] ) y2 &1 if ,god wills x s1 ,i w also die ) y4' ,nev] 0 man m fai?ful to 8 ^w ?an 0 ,bro!r ,savage1 & (t5 aft] t1 :5 sickness1 & we>9ess1 & cold1 & hung]1 & dea?1 ov]took u--z he _h =ese5--he nev] = "o mom5t =got ! promise :i* he _h s solemnly made4 8,!n--! middle ( ,augu/ be+ pass$--we left ,flor5ce beh9d u1 & began our we>y j\rney across ! ,pla9s 9 mu* ! same fa%ion z we _h already travell$ ?r\gh ,i[a4 ,we _h1 h[ev]1 tak5 fre% provisions to la/ u until we rea*$ ,utah1 & z ! ox5 c\ld n draw s mu* extra weight1 "o sack1 weigh+ ab\t a hundr$ p\nds1 0 plac$ on ea* ( ! h&-c>ts1 9 addition to ! o!r baggage4 ,?is 0 a sev]e tax ^u ! endurance ( ! p1 b mo/ ( !m bore x )\t a murmur4 ,on ! o!r h&1 we f>$ a little bett] 9 ! matt] ( provisions1 = we 7 all[$ a p\nd ( fl\r a day ea*1 & also1 occasionally1 a little fre% beef1 & besides t ea* hundr$ _h ?ree or f\r mil* c[s4 ,z we cont9u$ our j\rney1 & ! provisions 7 consum$1 ! burd5s on ! c>ts1 ( c\rse1 grew light]4 8,b ?is 0 only ! beg9n+ ( our pilgrimage2--! end we c\ld n =esee4 ,e ev5+1 :5 we pit*$ our t5ts1 we endeav\r$--by songs1 & je/s1 & int]e/+ /ories--to beguile ! t$i\sness ( ! way4 ,! days 7 n q s w>m n[1 & ! nights 7 m *illy2 b altoge!r1 x 0 mu* m pleasant travell+ ?an x 0 9 ! e>li] "p ( ! j\rney1 & no "o seem$ to rememb] ! almo/ prophetic remon/rance ( ,bro!r ,savage4 8,/ill we travell$ v sl[ly1 = ! c>ts 7 always break+ d[n2 ! :eels came (f1 & we _h no?+ to grease !m )4 ,! boxes ( ! :eels 7 made ( unseason$ wood1 & ! heavy pressure ^u !m1 & ! du/ t got into !m1 soon wore !m out4 ,"s ( ! p cut (f ! tops ( _! boots & wrapp$ !m r\nd ! axles1 & o!rs cut up _! t9 plates & kettles = ! same purpose2 & = grease !y us$ soap1 & ev5 _! pitiful all[ance ( bacon4 ,b z ! days pass$1 & ! fl\r began to be us$ up1 ^! accid5ts became less frequ5t4 8,^u an av]age1 !y said1 we travell$ ab\t fifte5 miles a day1 :i* ,i ?9k 0 v good4 ,"s few days we ev5 made a little ov] tw5ty miles1 b !y 7 balanc$ by ! %ortcom+s4 ,we tri$ to feel happy & hopeful1 & ev5 ! ag$ & infirm tri$ to make light ( _! toil & privations1 = we did n see t heavy cl\d :i* 0 loom+ across our way4 ,i frequ5tly talk$ ) ! old & weakly among ! p1 to :om bo? my husb& & myself 7 able to (f] little k9dnesses1 & !y all spoke *e]fully ( our prospects4 ,su* fai? _h !y 9 ! promises ( ! ,eld]s4 8,j be=e we rea*$ ,wood riv]1 va/ h]ds ( buffaloes appe>$ 9 our vic9ity1 & "o ev5+ all our cattle /amp$$1 & ! m5 _h to g 9 se>* ( !m4 ,ab\t ?irty 7 lo/1 & aft] hunt+ aft] !m = ?ree days1 we gave !m up4 ,we _h only "o yoke ( ox5 n[ = ea* waggon1 & z ! waggons 7 load$ ea* ) ?ree ?\s& p\nds ( fl[]1 ! teams c\ld n move !m4 ,s !y yok$ up ! beef-cattle1 & c[s1 & heif]s1 b !y 7 unmanageable2 & at la/ we 7 oblig$ aga9 to place a sack ( fl[] ^u ea* h&-c>t4 8,?is sorely tri$ u all4 ,"s ( ! p ev5 compla9$1 b ! great] "p ( u bore up bravely1 believ+ t x 0 ! w ( ! ,"l4 ,we /ill _h fai? t all w\ld yet be well4 ,?is 01 h[ev]1 a h>d bl[4 ,our mil* c[s 7 useless to u1 our beef-rations 7 /opp$1 & ! burd5s :i* we drew 7 d\bl$4 ,e "o did 8 or h] be/1 b _m ( u began to be di%e>t5$1 & c\ld h>dly get along4 8,"o ev5+ !re 0 q a commotion 9 ! camp4 ,we _h pit*$ our t5ts = ! night on ! banks ( ! ,platte riv]1 ,i ?9k1 :5 sudd5ly q a gr& turn-out ( c>riages & light waggons came up f ! ea/ & jo9$ u4 ,ea* c>riage 0 drawn by f\r horses1 & ! outfits 7 9 fir/-class /yle4 ,no?+ c\ld be too good = ,apo/les & o!r #8di/+ui%$' s]vants ( ! ,"l1 ,i 0 anxi\s to "k :o !y 71 b 0 n long 9 f9d+ out4 ,!re 0 ! ,apo/le ,frankl9 ,ri*>ds1 & ,eld]s ,webb & ,felt1 & ,joseph ,a4 ,"y1 ! son ( ! ,prophet1 & ,eld]s ,dunb>1 & ,kimball1 & ,grant--all return+ ,mission>ies4 ,!y /ay$ ) u all night1 & 9 ! morn+ call$ a great meet+1 & ! ,apo/le ,ri*>ds deliv]$ a spee*1 :i* s9ce has tr\bl$ me n a little1 & made me v sorr[ful4 8,he _h he>d ( :at ,bro!r ,savage _h said1 & !n & !re1 be=e u all1 he rebuk$ him4 ,he !n exhort$ u to rememb] ! hope set be=e u1 & told u to pray & "w on1 & especially to be ob$i5t to c\nsel2 & he f9i%$ by solemnly prophesy+1 9 ! "n ( ! ,god ( ,israel1 t ! ,almighty w\ld make a way = u to ,zion2 & t ?\gh ! sn[ might fall & ! /orm rage on ! "r h& & on ! left1 n a hair ( our heads %\ld be hurt4 8,"s ( ! p wept ) joy z !y he>d ^! words4 ,my own he>t 0 full4 ,to me1 ?is 0 ! voice ( inspiration--! voice ( ,god--h[ c\ld ,i d\bt aga98 8,si/] ,/5h\se1 be=e a mon? 0 ov]1 ,i saw ) my own eyes t prophecy1 ^? promises1 falsifi$ to ! v lett]2 & yet at ! "t !y came to me & to all else z ! ^w ( ! ,"l f heav54 ,tell me1 if m5 c ?us deceive !mselves--= ,i d n d\bt = a mom5t t ! ,apo/le believ$ 8 own prophecy--& if we c\ld be s sadly delud$ z to believe t :at 0 said 0 div9e--:at surety h we = our religion at all8 ,i /rive aga9/ ^! s9ful d\bts1 b !y w sometimes creep into my he>t unbidd54 8,! ,apo/le & ! ,eld]s ) him told ,capta9 ,willie t !y want$ "s fre% meat1 & ! ,eld]s kill$ & gave !m ( our v be/4 ,:at c\ld be d5i$ to ! ,s]vants ( ! ,"l8 ,we 7 !n m ?an f\r hundr$ 9 numb]--ag$ m5 & feeble wom51 ) babes & poor little *ildr5 too "y to walk2 _m ( !m infirm & sick1 all ( !m footsore & we>y4 ,we 7 f> away f home1 travell+ sl[ly hundr$s & hundr$s ( miles1 worn out1 & )\t suffici5t provisions = ! way1 or ! remote/ *ance ( obta9+ any4 ,& yet1 oh ,god6 ,i %ame to tell x2 ^! s]vants ( ,heav5--our lead]s1 our guides1 our example--^! *os5 vessels :o came to u1 rid+ com=tably & at ease 9 _! well-appo9t$ c>riages1 took ( our pov]ty--took ! v be/ we _h6 8,z !y left ! camp1 ,i look$ up into my husb&'s face1 & our eyes met4 ,we said n a ^w1 b 9 our he>ts !re 0 ! same ?\ght4 ,si/] ,/5h\se1 !re mu/ h be5 t self-same ?\ght 9 ! m9d ( _m ano!r poor s\l :o wat*$ ^? ,eld]s dep>t aft] !y _h lectur$ u on fai? & pati5ce & ob$i5ce6 8,!y cross$ ! riv] pleasantly en\gh1 & po9t$ out ! be/ =d+-place1 & !n !y wat*$ u wade ?r\gh--! wat] !re be+ ne>ly a mile 9 wid?1 & 9 "s places two & ev5 ?ree feet 9 dep?--& ?\gh _m ( ! heavy-lad5 c>ts 7 drawn by wom5 & girls !y nev] s mu* z (f]$ to l5d u ! aid ( _! h&some teams4 ,"o si/] told me t !y wat*$ ! poor p cross+1 ?r\gh glasses1 z if x 7 an ent]ta9m5t2 b ,i did n see t1 & c h>dly believe x 0 true4 ,all t !y did1 h[ev]1 0 to promise t :5 we rea*$ ,l>amie we %\ld f9d provisions & b$d+ & o!r necess>ies ready = u1 & t !y w\ld s5d help f ,salt ,lake ,valley to meet u40 ,,*apt] ,,xv4 ,,m>y ,,burton',s ,,/ory ,,cont9u$3--,,t]rible ,,end+ ,,( ,,! ,,h&-,,c>t ,,s*eme4 8,x 0 e>ly 9 ,septemb] :5 we rea*$ ,l>amie1 b we f\nd no?+ await+ u !re4 ,we 7 all v mu* disc\rag$ at ?is1 & ,capta9 ,willie call$ ano!r meet+ = consultation4 ,we knew ( c\rse1 be=eh&1 t our position 0 v bad2 b figures1 :5 /at$ pla9ly1 become />tl+ facts4 ,we n[ le>n$ t if we cont9u$ at ! same rate z t at :i* we _h previ\sly be5 travell+1 & receiv$ ea* ! same all[ance daily1 we %\ld be left utt]ly de/itute ( provisions :5 we 7 yet ?ree hundr$ & fifty miles f ! end ( our j\rney4 ,no?+ rema9$ b to r$uce our all[ance2 s1 in/ead ( "o p\nd1 we 7 ration$ at ?ree-qu>t]s ( a p\nd a day1 & at ! same "t 7 =c$ to make incr$ible ex]tions to travel fa/]4 8,n long aft] ?is1 ,capta9 ,willie receiv$ a message f ! ,apo/le ,ri*>ds4 ,x is ! cu/om1 y "k1 = p :o want to s5d messages to emigrants :o come aft] !m to write a note on a scrap ( pap]1 & tie x to a /one or a piece ( wood1 & leave x on ! way4 ,no "o di/urbs x1 z no "o b ! emigrants travel along t road1 & !y are sure to f9d x4 ,x 0 f a r\gh po/-(fice l ?is t ,capta9 ,willie got 8 lett]4 ,9 x ! ,apo/le told him t we %\ld receive supplies f ,salt ,lake :5 we rea*$ ! ,s\? ,pass2 b t we knew w\ld be too late4 ,s our all[ance 0 aga9 r$uc$1 & aft] t we 7 ration$ at an av]age ( t5 ounces = e p]son ov] t5 ye>s ( age4 ,! m5 :o drew ! c>ts receiv$ twelve ounces1 ! wom5 & ag$ m5 n9e ounces1 & ! *ildr5 f f\r to eight ounces accord+ to age4 ,be=e ?is1 ! m5 ) families _h done bett] ?an ! s+le m51 z !y _h be5 able to save a little f ! *ildr5's rations1 & ( c\rse !y did n l ?is new arrangem5t s well4 8,picture to y\rself ^! m5--9 ! cool air ( ,septemb]1 draw+ aft] !m ea* "o a load$ c>t1 ) "o or m *ildr5 mo/ frequ5tly sup]add$ to its weight1 trudg+ we>ily e day1 t51 fifte51 or tw5ty miles ov] ! r\gh des]t1 wad+ across /reams ) ! wom5 & *ildr51 sett+ up t5ts at night1 work+ z !y nev] work$ be=e 9 all _! lives1 & )al keep+ s\l & body toge!r ^u twelve ounces ( fl\r a day4 ,?is is b "o side ( ! picture--! physical toil & endurance ( ! work+ m54 ,?9k :at ! feeble & ag$1 ! sick1 ! wom5 & *ildr51 mu/ h endur$6 8,by ?is "t _m ( ^? :o _h hi!rto held out bravely began to fail1 & ! p 9 g5]al 7 greatly disc\rag$4 ,capta9 ,willie & ! ,eld]s :o assi/$ him did _! be/ to keep up ! spirits ( ! p1 & to get !m ov] z mu* gr\nd z !y c\ld ea* day4 ,! capta9s ov] ! hundr$s _h also no little "w to p]=m 9 di/ribut+ provisions1 help+ ! sick & infirm1 &1 9 fact1 sup]9t5d+ ev]y?+4 8,= "s "t ! nights _h be5 gett+ cold] & cold]1 & by ! "t we arriv$ at ! ,sweetwat] riv] we suff]$ consid]ably f t cause2 we felt t w9t] 0 fa/ approa*+4 ,9 fact1 x came on e>li] & m sev]ely la/ ye> ?an at any "t be=e s9ce ! ,sa9ts settl$ 9 ,utah4 ,does x n seem /range t at ! v "t :5 !y 7 (f]+ up special pray]s = u 9 ,zion1 t we might be def5d$ f cold & /orm1 ! t]rors ( a m ?an ord9>y w9t] ov]took u & prov$ fatal to s _m ( our company8 ,! m\nta9s 7 cov]$ ) sn[2 & x 0 soon q evid5t1 ev5 to ^? :o _h prophesi$ mo/ l\dly t ! ,"l w\ld "w a special miracle 9 our behalf1 t ! /orm-cl\ds ( w9t] w\ld soon bur/ ^u u4 8,y h nev] se5 ! ,sweetwat] riv]1 s ,i may z well tell y t x is a v irregul> /ream1 & we _h to cross x aga9 & aga9 ^u our way4 ,z usual we _h to wade ?r\gh ! wat] ea* "t1 & ?\gh ! m5 help$ ov] ! wom5 & *ildr5 z well z !y c\ld1 _m ( u got v wet inde$1 & q *ill$1 & we 7 all cold & mis]able4 ,/ill1 our fai? nev] gave way--"s1 ,i "k1 began to d\bt a little1 b !y _h n yet lo/ all fai?1 & disc\rag$ & wret*$1 z inde$ we 71 ! great] numb] bore up ) h]oic resolution4 ,i notic$1 h[ev]1 on ! faces ( "s poor s\ls--m5 & wom5--a peculi> expression :i* x is q impossible = me to describe4 ,lat] on ,i 0 l$ to believe t at t "t !y1 p]haps unconsci\sly1 felt ! pres5tim5t ( t fe>ful dea? :i* s soon ov]took !m4 8,we suff]$ mu* at night4 ,y may rememb] t ,i told y we 7 only all[$ sev5te5 p\nds ( clo?+ & b$d+1 & t1 ( c\rse1 0 ( little use4 ,sleep+ 9 a t5t1 "u any circum/ances1 is n g5]ally pleasant to ^? :o are accu/om$ to ! %elt] ( a h\se2 b sleep+ 9 a t5t1 expos$ to ! ke5 night air ( a wild]ness1 & ) sc>cely a rag ( cov]+1 0 almo/ suffici5t to prove fatal to ! /\te/ & /ronge/4 ,dur+ ! summ] "t1 al?\gh our f>e 0 scanty & our lab\r incessant1 we rose ea* morn+ refre%$ & /r5g!n$1 & ready = ! toils ( ! day4 ,b n[ we crept out ( our t5ts cramp$ & mis]able1 half-froz51 & ) our eyes r$ & te>ful ) ! cold4 ,we seem$ to h no life left 9 u4 8,^! ?+s soon began to tell ^u ! heal? ( e "o ( u1 especially ^u ! ag$ & ^? :o 7 sickly4 ,hope at la/ di$ out 9 _! poor we>y he>ts4 ,"o by "o !y fell (f--utt]ly worn out4 ,poor ?+s6 h[ !y _h long$ to see ! promis$ ,zion1 & n[ all expectation ( peaceful re/ on e>? 0 ov]--! bitt] end _h come4 8,we dug graves = !m by ! wayside 9 ! des]t1 & !re we laid !m ) _m te>s1 sc>cely d>+ to look "o ano!r 9 ! face1 = we felt t our own "t might p]haps be ne>] ?an we ?\ght4 8,"o by "o at fir/ !y fell (f1 b be=e long ! dea?s became s frequ5t t x 0 seldom t we left a camp-gr\nd )\t bury+ "o or m4 ,?is 01 h[ev]1 only ! beg9n+ ( evil4 8,soon x 0 no long] ! ag$ & sickly :o 7 tak5 (f1 b ! "y & /rong1 :o "u o!r circum/ances w\ld h set disease & dea? at defiance4 ,cold1 hung]1 & excessive toil br\ght on dys5t]y2 & :5 once attack$ by t !re 0 little hope = ! suff]]1 = we _h no m$ic9e1 & x 0 q out ( our p[] to give !m relief 9 any o!r way4 ,i n[ began to fe> = my husb&1 = ,i _h notic$ = "s "t an expression ( extreme we>9ess 9 8 face4 ,our trials _h n h>d5$ our he>ts2 on ! contr>y1 ,i ?9k1 z dea? seem$ to be draw+ ne>1 our affection = ea* o!r grew m pure & devot$1 & 9 my he>t ,i (t5 pray$1 t if x 7 ,8 w1 ,god w\ld let u die toge!r & re/ 9 ! same grave4 ,we nev] spoke a ^w to ea* o!r on ?is subject1 b we felt ! m4 ,i ex]t$ all my /r5g?1 & day aft] day toil$ along at 8 side1 help+ him all ,i c\ld2 b al?\gh he nev] compla9$1 ,i saw 9 8 eyes a dull & heavy look :i*1 m ?an any words1 told ( fail+ /r5g? & ! approa* ( disease1 & my he>t sank )9 me4 8,b my own tr\bles did n alone engross my att5tion2 !re 0 too mu* wret*$ness ar\nd u to all[ any "o to be absorb$ entirely 9 8 own griefs4 ,acts ( devotion on ! "p ( bo? p>5ts & *ildr5 came be=e me daily su* z w\ld h put to %ame ! /ories ( filial & p>5tal piety :i* we us$ to be taught at s*ool4 8,i saw "o poor man1 ^: heal? _h evid5tly nev] be5 /rong1 draw ! c>t ) 8 two little ones 9 x1 z well z ! baggage1 mile aft] mile1 until he c\ld h>dly drag 8 we>y limbs a /ep fur!r2 8 wife c>ri$ a little five-mon?s old baby 9 h] bosom4 ,?is !y did day aft] day1 until disease attack$ ! husb&1 & x 0 evid5t t he c\ld be> up no long]4 ,! next morn+ ,i saw him1 pale z a corpse1 b[$ d[n1 & %iv]+ 9 e limb1 b /ill /umbl+ on z be/ he c\ld4 ,be=e ! day 0 half ov]1 ! poor wife lagg$ beh9d ) h] babe1 & ! husb& did n seem to notice h]4 ,?is 0 n ! result ( he>tlessness on 8 "p2 ,i believe t ev5 !n he _h lo/ all consci\sness4 ,he did n "k x1 b he 0 dy+4 ,/ill he /umbl$ on1 until ! %ort w9try day came to a close1 & we pit*$ our camp1 & !n ,i miss$ him4 ,!re 0 no "t to inquire1 & a *ill came ov] my he>t z ,i ?\ght ( :at might be 8 fate4 ,pres5tly my husb& came to ! t5t & told me all4 ,! poor man _h dragg$ ! c>t up to ! la/ mom5t1 &1 :5 ! company halt$ = ! night1 he _h turn$ aside1 & sitt+ d[n he b[$ 8 head betwe5 8 knees & nev] spoke aga94 ,lat] /ill1 ! poor wife rea*$ ! camp1 & ,i saw h] !n4 ,!re 0 no te> 9 h] eyes1 & %e utt]$ nei!r cry nor moan1 b !re 0 ^u h] features a t]rible expression ( fix$ despair :i* ,i d>$ n ev5 look ^u4 8,a few days aft] ?is1 "o morn+ z we 7 almo/ ready to />t1 ,i saw t poor "m 9 h] t5t1 j z !y _h f\nd h]4 ,%e 0 cold & /ill--froz5 to dea?--h] sorr[s 7 ov] at la/1 & h] poor we>y _s 0 at re/2 b on h] bosom1 /ill clasp$ 9 h] arms1 & /ill liv+1 0 h] little *ild1 unconsci\s ( its "m's fate4 8,mo/ ( ^? :o di$1 z f> z ,i c\ld tell1 seem$ to pass away quietly & ) little pa91 z if e feel+ ( ! he>t 7 numb$ & dead4 ,b my own suff]+s & fe>s at t "t 7 s great t ,i c\ld n be a v close obs]v]4 ,/range z x may seem1 ! fe> ( dea? did n s mu* appe> to t]rify ^! poor victims z ! ?\ght t _! bodies w\ld be buri$ by ! wayside 9 ! des]t1 in/ead ( 9 ! sacr$ gr\nd ( ,zion4 ,poor s\ls6 ! absorb+ passion ( _! life 0 /rong 9 dea?4 8,z dea? ?9n$ our ranks1 ! lab\rs ( ^? :o surviv$ 7 increas$1 until at la/ !re 7 h>dly en\gh left ) /r5g? suffici5t to pit* our t5ts at night4 ,a great deal devolv$ ^u ! capta9 ( our hundr$1 ,eld] ,*islett4 ,he is a v good man1 & a devot$ ,sa9t2 & ,i am glad to say t bo? he & a lady to :om he 0 betro!d1 & :o 0 also ) our company1 escap$ ) _! lives4 ,i h (t5 se5 him1 :5 we /opp$ = ! night1 c>ry+ ! sick & feeble on 8 back f ! waggon to ! fire1 & !n work+ h>d] ?an a slave w\ld "w 9 putt+ ?+s /raight = ! night4 ,he %[$ a great _m k9dnesses to my husb& & myself4 8,b individual ef=ts avail$ no?+ aga9/ fatigue & hung]1 & ! fe>ful cold4 ,to ! m9ds ( all ( u1 ! end 0 fa/ approa*+4 ,no?+ b our fai? su/a9$ u2 & fooli% z _m p w\ld ?9k t fai?1 ,i am q sure1 t b = x1 no liv+ s\l ( all our company w\ld h ev] rea*$ ,salt ,lake4 8,at la/ ! /orm came1 & ! sn[ fell--,i ?9k x mu/ h be5 at lea/ five or six in*es deep )9 half an h\r4 ,! w9d 0 v ke5 & cutt+1 & x drift$ ! sn[ "r into our faces2 & ?us bl9d$ by ! /orm1 & sc>cely able to /&1 we /umbl$ on t day = fully sixte5 miles4 ,:at we suff]$ x w\ld be useless = me to attempt to describe4 ,"s ( ! sc5es we witness$ 7 he>t-r5d+4 ,illu/ration3 ,,ov] ,,at ,,la/4 ,to face p4 #acf4 8,!re 0 a "y girl1 ) :om ,i 0 v well acqua9t$1 & :om ,i saw /ruggl+ 9 ! sn[1 cl++ to "o ( ! h&-c>ts1 & va9ly try+ to help 9 pu%+ x on1 b really do+ j ! contr>y4 ,%e is n[ 9 ,salt ,lake ,city1 a helpless cripple1 h] limbs d[nw>ds hav+ be5 froz5 dur+ t /orm1 & subsequ5tly amputat$4 ,a poor old woman1 too1 :om ,i ?9k y mu/ h kn[n 9 ,london1 l+]$ beh9d lat] 9 ! day4 ,:5 night came on x 0 impossible = any "o to g back to se>* = h]1 b1 9 ! morn+1 n v f> f ! camp1 "s torn rags--! rema9s ( h] dress--7 f\nd1 a few bones1 a quantity ( hair1 & at a little di/ance a female skull1 well gnaw$1 & ) ! m>ks ( ! wolf-fangs /ill wet ^u x2--! sn[ all r\nd 0 crimson$ ) blood4 8,we halt$ = a little :ile 9 ! middle ( t day1 & to our surprise & joy1 ,joseph ,a4 ,"y & ,eld] ,/eph5 ,taylor drove into ! camp4 ,we f\nd t :5 ! return+ mission>ies1 ( :om ,i h already told y1 left u by ! ,platte riv]1 !y made _! way z spe$ily z !y c\ld to ,salt ,lake ,city4 ,joseph ,a41 :o felt deeply = our suff]+s1 al?\gh he _h be5 away f home = two :ole ye>s1 ha/5$ to 8 fa!r1 & report$ to him ! condition 9 :i* we 74 ,brigham ,"y 0 ( c\rse anxi\s to undo ! mis*ief :i* _h result$ f ! p foll[+ 8 inspir$ c\nsel1 & at 8 son's e>ne/ entreaty all[$ him to return ) provisions & clo?+ to meet u4 ,joseph ,a4 lo/ no "t1 b press$ on to ! rescue1 & hav+ told u t assi/ance 0 on ! way1 ha/5$ ea/w>d to meet ! company t 0 foll[+ u4 8,i _c tell y :at a relief ?is intellig5ce 0 to ! m9ds ( all1 & h[ mu* ! poor p felt enc\rag$ by x4 ,b z = me1 at t "t my he>t 0 sad en\gh4 ,= "s "t my husb&'s /r5g? _h evid5tly be5 fail+1 & = ! la/ two days ,i _h felt v s]i\s appreh5sions on 8 behalf4 ,he _h be5 ov]task$1 & l ! re/ ( u he 0 />v+ ) cold & hung]1 & ,i saw t he c\ld n hold out mu* long]4 ,my wor/ fe>s 7 spe$ily realiz$4 ,we _h n j\rney$ half a mile f ! place :]e we re/$ at noon1 :51 bl9d$ by ! sn[1 & completely brok5 d[n1 he dropp$ ! rail ( ! c>t1 & ,i saw t he c\ld g no fur!r4 ,h[ ,i felt1 y1 z a wife & "m1 only c guess4 ,9 a mom5t my own weakness 0 =gott52 my love = my husb& made me /rong aga94 ,to leave him !re or to delay w\ld h be5 dea? to "o if n all ( u4 ,s ,i call$ to ^? :o %>$ ! c>t ) u1 & !y help$ me z well z !y c\ld to lift my husb& up1 & put him "u "p ( ! b$d+4 ,x 0 ! only *ance ( sav+ 8 life2 =1 z ,i be=e m5tion$1 "s1 previ\s to ?is1 :o _h be5 ov]come1 & _h l+]$ by ! way1 _h be5 froz5 to dea? or dev\r$ by ! wolves4 8,i !n took hold ( ! cross-b> or h&le ( ! c>t1 & numb$ ) ! cold1 & trembl+ 9 e limb1 x 0 z mu* z ,i c\ld d to raise x f ! gr\nd4 ,to move ! c>t 0 impossible1 s ,i appeal$ to ! old folks aga91 & !y ex]t$ all _! /r5g? to pu% x f beh9d1 & our comb9$ ef=ts at l5g? succe$$2 b ! *ief weight fell ^u me4 ,h[ gladly ,i bore x2 h[ gladly ,i w\ld h borne any?+ = ! m]e *ance ( sav+ my de> husb&'s life1 y\r own he>t c tell4 8,! sn[ drift$ wildly ar\nd u1 & beat 9 our faces s bl9d+ly t we c\ld h>dly proce$4 ,! great] "p ( ! tra9 _h pass$ on :ile we delay$ on acc\nt ( my husb&1 & n[ e "o 0 mak+ ! mo/ desp]ate ef=ts to keep up ) ! re/2 to be left beh9d 0 dea?4 ,_h ,i be5 ask$ :e!r "u any circum/ances ,i c\ld h dragg$ t heavy c>t along 9 all t /orm1 ,i %\ld c]ta9ly h repli$ t x w\ld be utt]ly impossible2 b until we are tri$ we d n "k :at we c be>4 ,x 0 n until ! night came on1 & we pit*$ our t5ts1 t ,i realiz$ :at ,i _h pass$ ?r\gh4 8,!y help$ me to c>ry my husb& to ! t5t1 & !re we laid him1 & ,i tri$ to make him z easy z 0 possible "u ! circum/ances1 b com=t or re/ 0 altoge!r out ( ! "q4 ,all t night ,i sat beside him1 sometimes wat*+1 sometimes fall+ into a fitful sleep4 ,i did n believe t he w\ld live ?r\gh ! night4 ,9 ! morn+ he 0 by no means improv$1 & !n ,i felt too truly ! abject mis]y ( our position4 ,x is a pa9ful ?+ to wat* at ! b$side ( ^? we love :5 hope = _! recov]y is gone2 b ?9k :at x mu/ be to sit ^u ! cold e>? 9 ! t5t1 ^u ! op5 des]t1 ) ! pi]c+ w9d ( w9t] p5etrat+ to ! v bones1 & !re be=e y1 ! de> "o--y\r life1 y\r all on e>?--dy+1 & y )\t a drop ( m$ic9e1 or ev5 a morsel ( ! co>se/ n\ri%m5t1 to give him4 ,oh1 ! bitt]ness ( my s\l at t mom5t6 ,i tri$ to pray1 b my he>t 0 full ( curs+2 x seem$ to me z if ev5 ,god ,himself _h =gott5 u4 ,! fe>ful mis]y ( t d>k h\r has left on my s\l itself a record z ineffaceable z ! impr9t ( a burn+ iron ^u ! fle%4 8,! morn+ broke at la/1 d>k & dre>y1 & a ?ick heavy mantle ( sn[ cov]$ all ! camp2 b we contriv$ to communicate ) ea* o!r1 & soon x 0 :isp]$ t five poor creatures _h be5 f\nd dead 9 ! t5ts4 ,want1 & we>9ess1 & ! bitt] cold1 _h done _! "w1 & we did n weep = !m--!y 7 at re/2 b = ourselves we wept t we 7 left beh9d--& we look$ at "o ano!r1 wi/fully1 wond]+ :i* ( u w\ld be tak5 next4 8,we buri$ ^? five poor froz5 corpses 9 "o grave1 wrapp$ 9 ! clo?+ 9 :i* !y di$1 & !n we com=t$ ea* o!r z be/ we might1 & left ! dead :o 7 n[ beyond our rea*1 t we might d :at we c\ld = ^? :o 7 fa/ foll[+ !m to ! grave4 ,a meet+ ( ! lead]s 0 held1 & x 0 resolv$ t we %\ld rema9 :]e we 7 until ! promis$ supplies rea*$ u4 ,we c\ld n1 9 fact1 d o!rwise1 = ! sn[ 0 s deep t x 0 impossible = u to proce$1 & ! sick & dy+ dem&$ imm$iate att5tion4 ,t morn+1 = ! fir/ "t1 no fl\r 0 di/ribut$--!re 0 none4 ,all t rema9$1 besides our mis]able cattle1 0 a small quantity ( h>d biscuit :i* ,capta9 ,willie b\ght at ,l>amie1 & a few p\nds ( rice & dri$ apples4 ,ne>ly all ! biscuit 0 at once divid$ among ! :ole company1 & ! few p\nds :i* rema9$1 toge!r ) ! rice & apples1 7 giv5 to ,eld] ,*islett = ! use ( ! sick & ! v little *ildr54 ,!y also kill$ two ( ! cattle & divid$ ! beef4 ,mo/ ( ! p got ?r\gh _! mis]able all[ance t v morn+1 & !n !y _h to fa/4 8,capta9 ,willie set out t morn+ ) ano!r ,eld] to meet ! com+ supplies & ha/5 !m on1 & z we saw !m disappe> 9 ! di/ant we/ we almo/ felt z if our la/ hope dep>t$ ) !m1 s _m *ances !re 7 t we %\ld nev] see !m aga94 8,! :ole ( t long1 long day ,i sat beside my husb& 9 ! t5t--& ,i might almo/ say ,i did no m4 ,!re 0 no?+ t ,i c\ld d4 ,! little b$d+ t 0 all[$ = bo? ( u ,i made up into a c\* = him2 b :at a wret*$ make%ift x 06 ,& ,i got f ,eld] ,*islett a few ( ! dri$ apples :i* _h be5 res]v$ = ! sick2 b x 0 n until nightfall t my husb& 0 capable ( swall[+ any?+--& !n1 :at n\ri%m5t to give to a sick man6 ,! day 0 freez+ cold1 & ,i _h h>dly any?+ on me1 & _h eat5 no?+ s9ce ! day be=e2 = my m9d 0 s agitat$ t ,i d n ?9k ! mo/ delicate food w\ld h tempt$ me4 ,god alone kn[s ! bitt]ness ( my he>t z ,i sat !re dur+ all t we>y day4 ,i nev] expect$ to see my husb& op5 8 eyes aga91 & ,i ?\ght t :5 ev5+ came ,i w\ld lie d[n beside him1 & we w\ld take our la/ long sleep on e>? toge!r4 8,:5 night came on & all 0 d>k ,i /ill sat !re2 ,i dread$ to move le/ ,i %\ld le>n ! t]rible tru?--my husb& dead6 ,i look$ t[>ds ! place :]e ,i knew he 0 ly+1 b ,i c\ld see no?+4 ,i li/5$1 & ,i fanci$ t ,i he>d a g5tle brea?+--b x 0 only fancy4 ,!n1 l\d] ?an ! incessant moan+ ( ! w9d1 ,i c\ld he> 9 ! di/ance a fe>ful cry--a cry :i* _h (t5 *ill$ our he>ts at midnight on ! pla9s--x 0 ! wolves6 ,! d>kness grew d>k] /ill--s ?ick t "o c\ld almo/ feel x2 ! horror ( dea? seem$ /eal+ ov] all my s5ses4 ,oh t !re might be "o long et]nal night to blot out = ev] our mis]ies & our exi/5ce4 ,i ?rew my h&s wildly above me1 & cri$ bitt]ly1 #8,oh ,god1 my ,god1 let me die6' 8,god 0 ne>] to me ?an ,i ?\ght4 ,z my h& dropp$ lifelessly to ! gr\nd x t\*$ "s mov+ ?+--x 0 my husb&'s h&--! same h& :i* ,i _h wat*$ 9 ! twilight1 /iff5+1 z ,i ?\ght1 9 dea?4 ,! long1 ?9 f+]s grasp$ my own1 & ?\gh !y 7 v1 v cold1 ,i felt t life 0 9 !m2 & z ,i /oop$ d[n to kiss !m ,i he>d my husb&'s voice1 v weak & feeble1 say+ 9 a :isp]1 #8,m>y4' ,i ?rew myself ^u 8 bosom4 ,9 a mom5t ! fe> ( dea?--! long+ = dea?--! wild & t]rible ?\ghts1 all _h gone2 ! s\nd ( t voice 0 life to me1 & =getful ( 8 weakness1 =getful ( ev]y?+ b him1 ,i ?rew myself ^u 8 bosom & wept te>s ( joy4 8,v c>efully & g5tly ,i rais$ him up1 &1 9 ! d>kness1 e :isp]$ ^w convey$ m mean+ to my m9d ?an all 8 eloqu5ce 9 by-gone times4 ,aft] "s "t ,i p]suad$ him to take a little n\ri%m5t--mis]able /uff t x 0--& pres5tly he fell asleep aga94 ,i laid 8 de> head ^u ! be/ pill[ t ,i c\ld make ( "s ( my own clo!s1 & !n ,i slept a little myself--n mu*1 b x 0 m refre%+ ?an any sleep t _h visit$ my eyes = a long "t pa/--hope _h come aga94 8,! next morn+ my husb& 0 evid5tly bett]1 & ,i knelt d[n beside him & ?ank$ ,god = ! miracle t ,he _h wr\ght2 = 0 x n a miracle ?us to raise my dead to life aga98 ,h[ _m /rong]1 /\t] m5 ?an he _h ,i se5 fall sick & die2 b to me ,god _h %[n m]cy 9 my utmo/ ne$4 8,we wait$ ?ree long days = ! return ( ,capta9 ,willie4 ,my he>t 0 s full ( ?ankfulness t my husb& _h be5 sp>$ t ,i c]ta9ly did n feel s acutely ! mis]y ) :i* ,i 0 surr\nd$ z ,i o!rwise %\ld h done2 ,i 0 l ! prison] :o feels happy 9 a reprieve f dea?1 b ^: situation is nev]!less su* z w\ld appe> to any o!r p]son ! mo/ wret*$ 9 :i* he c\ld be plac$4 ,! mis]y t 0 suff]$ 9 t camp 0 beyond ! p[] ( words to describe4 ,on ! second day !y gave u "s m beef-rations1 b !y did u little good4 ,! beef 01 ( c\rse1 ( ! poore/1 &1 eat5 alone1 x did n seem to satisfy hung]1 & ^? :o 7 pro/rat$ by dys5t]y1 al?\gh !y ate x rav5\sly1 suff]$ mu* 9 consequ5ce aft]w>ds4 8,! numb] ( ! sick rapidly increas$1 & n a few di$ f exhau/ion2 & really ^? seem$ happie/ :o 7 ?us tak5 f ! horrors :i* surr\nd$ !m4 ,_h x n be5 = ! int5se fro/1 we %\ld all probably h fall5 victims to ! intol]able atmosph]e ( ! camp4 ,i w\ld n ev5 all[ my m9d to recall "s ( ! sc5es :i* ,i witness$ at t "t3 sc5es1 ! disgu/+ & fil?y horrors ( :i* no dec5t words c\ld describe4 ,:5 y consid] ! frightful condition 9 :i* we 71 ! hung] & cold :i* we endur$1 y may p]haps be able 9 a small degree to conjecture--z f> z a p]son c conjecture :o has n himself suff]$ su* ?+s--:at we !n pass$ ?r\gh4 ,i saw poor mis]able creatures1 utt]ly worn out1 dy+ 9 ! arms ( o!r =lorn & hopeless creatures z wret*$ z !mselves2 ,i saw /rong & hone/1 hon\rable m51 or :o _h once be5 su*1 begg+ ( ! capta9 = ! mis]able scraps :i* _h be5 sav$ = ! sick & ! helpless *ildr52 ,i saw poor he>t-brok5 mo!rs freez+ to dea?1 b clasp+ z !y di$1 9 an agony ( lov+ woe1 ! torn & wret*$ remnants ( clo?+ :i* !y /ill reta9$1 ar\nd ! emaciat$ =ms ( _! innoc5t babes--! "m-in/9ct /rong 9 dea?2 & sometimes at night :51 all unbidd51 ,i see aga9 9 dreams ! awful suff]+s ( ^? poor ,god-=sak5 wret*es1 ,i />t 9 horror & pray ! ,almighty r to blot out f my m9d ! memory ( all ! pa/1 ?an to let me ev] recollect1 if b 9 fancy1 t fe>ful "t4 8,! ?ird day came1 & /ill no relief4 ,!re are my/]i\s p[]s ( endurance 9 human nature1 weak z we (t5 deem x1 b !re is a po9t beyond :i* ! b[1 h[ev] flexible1 w n b5d4 ,x 0 evid5t t if no help arriv$ spe$ily1 ! end 0 n f> (f4 8,! sun 0 s9k+ beh9d ! di/ant we/]n hills1 9 all ! glory ( ! cle> fro/y atmosph]e ( ! des]t1 & _m :o gaz$ ^u its beauty did s ) a m\rnful int]e/1 believ+ t !y w\ld nev] aga9 behold ! light ( day4 ,b at t mom5t "s :o 7 anxi\sly wat*+ ) a la/ hope--wat*+ = :at !y h>dly d>$ expect to see--rais$ a %\t ( joy4 ,we knew :at x 06 ,m51 wom51 & *ildr5 ru%$ f _! t5ts to welcome ! approa*+ waggons & our fri5ds 9 "t ( ne$4 ,capta9 ,willie & ! o!r ,eld] _h f\nd ! rescue f ,salt ,lake ov]tak5 by ! /orm j z we 71 b he _h told !m ( our t]rible situation1 & !y _h ha/5$ on )\t a mom5t's delay4 ,x 0 he & !y1 convoy+ good supplies1 :o n[ approa*$ u4 ,! poor creatures %\t$ wildly = joy2 ev5 ! /rong m5 %$ te>s2 & ! si/]s1 ov]come ) ! sudd5 *ange f dea? to life1 flung !mselves into ! arms ( ! bre?r5 z !y came into ! camp & cov]$ !m ) kisses4 ,su* happ9ess y nev] saw--e "o %ak+ h&s & speak+ joyfully--e "o say+ #8,god bless y' ) a mean+ su* z is seldom atta*$ to ^? words4 8,! supplies 7 to u m ?an food & clo?+--!y 7 life itself4 ,eld] ,john ,*islett 0 appo9t$ to di/ribute ! provisions & clo?+1 & ev]y?+ 0 plac$ 9 8 h&s4 ,he gave out to u all t 0 imm$iately necess>y1 b /rongly caution$ u to be v mod]ate 9 :at we ate1 z x 0 dang]\s to g f ! extreme ( fa/+ to a full meal4 ,aft] supp] ! clo?+ & b$d+ 0 fairly divid$1 & we felt m ?ankful = ^? little com=ts ?an a p]son1 :o _h nev] endur$ z we _h1 w\ld h felt _h he become sudd5ly ! recipi5t ( b\ndless luxury4 8,two ( ! ,eld]s :o _h held =? su* delusive hopes to ! company1 n long be=e1 z ,i h already told y1 7 ) ! bre?r5 :o came to our relief4 ,i h nev] v5tur$ to ask h[ x 0 t !y c\ld hold out to u 9 ,god's "n su* promises1 :5 !y mu/ h kn[n aft] a mom5t's reflection1 t !y 7 utt]ly baseless2 b ,i ?9k t probably !y left _! com=table homes 9 ,salt ,lake ,city & came across ! /ormy des]t ) supplies to meet u1 only to %[ practically h[ anxi\s !y 7 to atone = hav+ l$ u a/ray4 ,next morn+ ,eld] ,grant w5t on ea/ to meet ! company foll[+ u1 b ,eld] ,w4 ,h4 ,kimball took comm& ( our company = ! re/ ( ! way4 8,we c\ld n[ j\rney b v sl[ly1 = ! road 0 bad2 ! sick & weakly 71 h[ev]1 able to ride1 & altoge!r we suff]$ less4 ,to "s ?is *ange = ! bett] arriv$ too late--! m5tal & physical suff]+s :i* !y _h endur$ 7 too mu* = !m4 ,poor s\ls6 !y alone & _! ,fa!r 9 heav5 knew :at !y _h pass$ ?r\gh4 ,!y seem$ to h lo/ all consci\sness1 z if _! faculties _h be5 numb$ & /ultifi$4 ,we talk$ to !m ( ! pa/1 b !y look$ at u ) unmean+ eyes1 z if we spoke ( some?+ 9 :i* !y _h no int]e/2 we tri$ to lead _! ?\ghts to ,zion1 & ! promises ( ! ,"l2 b x 0 all 9 va94 ,!y turn$ f u ) a look ( t]rible apa?y2 & "o or two1 :o p>tly seem$ to und]/&1 only repli$ ) an indiff]5ce pa9ful to witness--#8,too late1 too late6' 8,z we j\rney$1 ! wea!r e day grew cold]4 ,_m ( ! un=tunate p lo/ _! f+]s & toes1 o!rs _! e>s2 "o poor woman lo/ h] sight1 & ,i 0 told ( a poor sick man :o held on to ! waggon-b>s to save himself f jolt+1 & _h all 8 f+]s froz5 (f4 ,few1 if any1 ( ! p recov]$ f ! effects ( t fro/4 ,"o morn+ !y f\nd a poor old man :o _h va9ly tri$ ! ev5+ be=e to keep up ) ! re/4 ,8 corpse 0 n f> f ! camp1 b x _h be5 sadly mangl$ by ! wolves4 ,!n !re came ano!r sn[-/orm1 only worse 9 proportion z ! wea!r 0 cold]1 & x 0 ) ! utmo/ difficulty t we c\ld be kept f freez+4 ,we wrapp$ blankets & any?+ else we c\ld get ar\nd u1 b ! cold w9d p5etrat$ to our v bones4 ,i 0 told t "s ( ! p1 ev5 wom5 & *ildr51 :o lagg$ beh9d1 7 :ipp$ s z to make !m keep up1 & to keep life 9 !m4 ,i did n see ?is myself2 b ,i believe1 if ! /ory 0 true1 x 0 an act ( m]cy & n ( cruelty1 = to delay a mom5t 0 fatal4 ,! capta9 ( our hundr$ m ?an once /ay$ beh9d ! company to bury "s un=tunate p]son :o di$ on ! road3 h[ he ev] got up ) u aga9 ,i _c tell1 b he seem$ to be z indefatigable 9 8 lab\rs z he 0 wond]fully pres]v$4 8,sometimes ! c>ts came to a dead /&-/ill1 & sev]al _h to be fa/5$ toge!r & drawn by a unit$ ef=t1 & 9 m ?an "o in/ance ! poor p gave up altoge!r2--!y 7 c>ri$ on1 :ile !y liv$1 z well z we c\ld2 b _! c>ts 7 ab&on$4 ,! /raggl]s came 9 sl[ly to camp ! night ( ! /orm--! p f ! ,valley ev5 w5t back to fet* "s 9--& x 0 ne>ly six o'clock 9 ! morn+ be=e ! la/ arriv$4 8,! next day we rema9$ 9 camp1 = !re 7 s _m sick & dy+ t we c\ld n proce$4 ,e>ly 9 ! morn+ ,eld] ,*islett & ?ree o!r ,eld]s w5t r\nd to see :o 0 dead1 t !y might be buri$4 ,!y f\nd 9 ! t5ts fifte5 corpses--all /iff & froz54 ,two m di$ dur+ ! day4 ,a l>ge squ>e hole 0 dug1 & !y 7 buri$ 9 x ?ree abrea/1 & !n !y 7 cov]$ ) leaves & e>?1 e precaution be+ tak5 to keep !m f ! wolves4 ,few ( ! relatives ( ^? :o 7 dead came to ! burial--!y did n seem to c>e--dea? _h become famili> to !m1 & p]sonal mis]y preclud$ sorr[ = ! dead4 8,z we drew ne>] to ,salt ,lake ,valley we met m ( ! bre?r5 com+ to our assi/ance4 ,!y suppli$ u ) all we ne$$1 & !n ha/5$ on to meet ^? :o foll[$ u4 ,! atmosph]e seem$ to become s5sibly w>m]1 & our suff]+s 7 proportionately less z we approa*$ ,zion4 8,:at ! feel+s ( o!rs might h be5 :5 !y fir/ saw ! goal ( our hopes--,zion ( our pray]s & songs--,i _c tell4 ,we>y1 oh s we>y ,i felt1 b ?ankful1 m ?an ?ankful1 t my husb&'s life _h be5 sp>$4 ,he 0 pale & sick1 b he 0 ) u /ill4 8,i h writt5 too mu* already1 ,si/] ,/5h\se4 ,i _c tell y m n[1 b ,i may z well add t :5 we left ,i[a ,city we 7 ab\t five hundr$ 9 all4 ,"s left u on ! way4 ,:5 we left ,flor5ce1 & began ! j\rney across ! ,pla9s1 we 7 ov] f\r hundr$ & tw5ty1 ( :i* numb] we buri$ sixty-sev5--a six? ( ! :ole4 ,! company :i* foll[$ u1 & to :i* ,i h frequ5tly allud$1 f>$ worse ?an we4 ,!y numb]$ six hundr$ :5 !y />t$1 b !y buri$ "o hundr$ & fifty on ! j\rney--"o 9 e f\r4 ,may ,god grant t ,i may nev] aga9 see su* a sight z 0 pres5t$ by ! mis]able remnant ( t la/ company z !y came on sl[ly ?r\gh ! ,caon t[>ds ,salt ,lake ,valley40 ,,*apt] ,,xvi4 ,,we ,,=sake ,,all1 ,,& ,,set ,,out ,,= ,,zion3--,,our ,,j\rney ,,across ,,! ,,pla9s4 ,,x 0 ) /range feel+s ( d\bt & unre/ t ,i read t pa9ful /ory2 b ,i fold$ up ,m>y ,burton's lett] & /or$ x c>efully away 9 my desk1 & !n ,i began to ?9k4 ,c]ta9ly ,i 0 /ill a ,mormon--at lea/ ,i 0 no?+ else--b ,i 0 n n[ s firmly gr\nd$ 9 my fai? z once ,i 01 & ^! t]rible /ories completely unsettl$ my m9d4 ,!n1 too1 ,i 0 well aw>e t1 be=e long1 my husb& & myself w\ld be call$ ^u to cross ! ,pla9s to ,zion1 & ,i felt t if our exp]i5ce 7 any?+ l t ( ,m>y ,burton1 ,i & my *ildr5 w\ld nev] rea* ,salt ,lake4 ,! prospect 0 n v *e]+4 ,"o morn+ we 7 surpris$ to receive a visit f ! ,apo/le ,george ,q4 ,cannon1 :o _h come to take ! place ( ,mr4 ,/5h\se z ,presid5t ( ! ,mission 9 ! ,ea/]n ,/ates1 & we 7 n[ to prep>e to travel ) ! next company ( emigrants4 ,to me ?is 0 mo/ unpleasant intellig5ce4 ,polygamy--! k t be=e long ,i %\ld be br\ght p]sonally )9 its degrad+ influ5ce--_h n[ = ye>s be5 ! curse ( my life1 & ,i _h welcom$ e reprieve f imm$iate contact ) x 9 ,utah4 ,b ! "t _h come at la/ :5 ,i 0 to realize my wor/ appreh5sions1 & ,i ?9k at t "t1 _h ,i be5 p]mitt$ to *oose1 ,i w\ld h pref]r$ to die r ?an j\rney to ,zion4 ,besides ?is1 ev] s9ce my husb& _h be5 engag$ ) ! secul> pap]s1 we _h be5 gett+ along v com=tably4 ,we _h n[ a pleasant home & _m com=ts & little luxuries :i* we _h n enjoy$ s9ce we left ,switz]l&1 & ,i 0 beg9n+ to hope t we %\ld be all[$ to rema9 9 ,new ,york = a few ye>s at lea/4 ,we _h also by ?is "t six *ildr5--! y\nge/ only a few days old--& ,i leave x to any "m to det]m9e :e!r ,i _h n good cause = vexation :5 ,i 0 told t we 7 expect$ to leave ,new ,york )9 two weeks1 ) ! emigrants :o 7 !n en r\te f ,engl&4 ,my husb& also 0 to take *>ge ( ! company1 & !re=e ev]y?+ w\ld dep5d ^u me--all ! prep>ations = our long & p]il\s j\rney1 ! disposal ( our furniture1 &1 9 fact1 ! ?\s& & "o little necess>y duties :i* mu/ att5d ! pack+ up & dep>ture ( a family4 ,9 ! c\rse ( a few days ! emigrants arriv$1 & !n my husb& 0 compell$ to devote all 8 "t to !m4 ,:5 ,i told ! ,eld]s t x 0 almo/ impossible = me1 9 ! delicate /ate ( heal? 9 :i* ,i 01 & ) a babe only two weeks old1 to und]take su* a j\rney1 !y told me t ,i _h no fai? 9 ! p[] ( ,god1 & t if ,i w\ld arise & beg9 my prep>ations1 ! ,"l w\ld give me /r5g? accord+ to my day4 ,?9k+ t probably my husb& believ$ z !y did1 ,i made ! ef=t1 b x co/ me mu*4 ,9 ! ,mormon ,*ur* ! feel+s or suff]+s ( wom5 are seldom consid]$4 ,if an ord] is giv5 to any man to take a j\rney or p]=m any giv5 task1 8 wife or wives are n to be ?\ght (4 ,!y are 8 prop]ty j z mu* z 8 horses1 mules1 or ox52 & if "o wife %\ld die1 x is ( little consequ5ce if he has o!rs1 & if he has n he c easily get !m2 & if he is n "y or fasc9at+ en\gh to w9 8 way ) ! "y ladies1 he has only to keep on good t]ms ) ,brigham ,"y1 or ev5 ) 8 bi%op1 & e difficulty w be smoo!d away1 & !y w be 8c\nsell$0 to m>ry him4 ,x is nev] expect$1 nor w\ld x be tol]at$ 9 any ,mormon woman1 t %e %\ld ex]cise h] own judgm5t 9 opposition to h] husb&1 no matt] h[ mu* %e might feel t he 0 9 ! wrong3 ,i h frequ5tly se5 intellig5t wom5 subject$ to ! grosse/ tyranny on ! "p ( ignorant & fanatical husb&s :o 7 influ5c$ by ! absurd tea*+s ( ! ,tab]nacle4 ,"o ( ! greate/ ,mormon writ]s1 ,orson ,pratt1 has said1-- 8,! wife %\ld nev] foll[ h] own judgm5t 9 pref]5ce to t ( h] husb&2 = if h] husb& desires to d "r1 b errs 9 judgm5t1 ! ,"l w bless h] 9 endeav\r+ to c>ry out 8 c\nsels2 = ,god has plac$ him at ! head1 & ?\gh he may err 9 judgm5t1 yet ,god w n ju/ify ! wife 9 disreg>d+ 8 in/ructions & c\nsels2 f> great] is ! s9 ( rebellion1 ?an ! errors :i* arise f ! want ( judgm5t2 !re=e %e w\ld be condemn$ = suff]+ h] w to rise aga9/ 84 ,be ob$i5t1 & ,god w cause all ?+s to "w = good40 ,! tr\ble & annoyance occasion$ by leav+ a com=table position 9 ,new ,york to travel to su* an unkn[n region z ,utah 0 !n1 0 n a trifle2 b we ha/5$ our prep>ations1 sacrific+ all t we possess$ 9 ! mo/ reckless mann]1 & 9 due "t set out4 ,:5 we rea*$ ,flor5ce--! />t+-po9t on ! ,fronti]s--we 7 deta9$ on acc\nt ( "s mismanagem5t on ! "p ( ! ,*ur* ,ag5ts1 & rema9$ = ?ree weeks 9 camp4 ,ours 0 :at 0 call$ 8an indep5d5t company20 by :i* ,i mean t we 7 able to defray our own exp5ses )\t borr[+ f ! ,*ur*3 ! poor] emigrants 7 assi/$ f a fund provid$ = t purpose--! ,p]petual ,emigration ,fund4 ,our company 0 9 an inf9itely bett] position ?an t ( ^? emigrants ( ^: sad fate my fri5d ,m>y ,burton _h told me2 = our j\rney 0 made at ! prop] season1 &1 z f> z 0 possible "u ! circum/ances1 conv5i5ce & com=t _h be5 att5d$ to4 ,! incid5ts :i* befell u 7 few1 & al?\gh1 ( c\rse1 e "o ( u felt we>y & worn out1 we 7 n call$ ^u to pass ?r\gh ! mis]ies & suff]+s endur$ by ! h&-c>t emigrants4 ,look+ back to our primitive mode ( travell+1 x appe>s to me almo/ z if ,i mu/ be mak+ "s mi/ake ab\t my own age1 & t x mu/ h be5 sev]al c5turies1 in/ead ( a few ye>s ago1 s9ce we cross$ ! ,pla9s4 ,! ox-team & waggon1 ! walk on foot 9 ! day & ! camp-life at night1 h be5 pleasantly ex*ang$ = ! swift travel ( a few days 9 a ,pullman palace-c>4 ,:at liv+ contradictions we 7 z we cross$ ! ,pla9s--s++ 9 a circle1 night & morn+1 ! songs ( ,zion & li/5+ to pray]s & ?anksgiv+s = hav+ be5 p]mitt$ to ga!r out ( ,babylon2 & !n dur+ ! day z we trudg$ along 9 twos & ?rees express+ to ea* o!r all our misgiv+s1 & d\bts1 & fe>s1 & ! bitt]ness our ?\ghts aga9/ ,polygamy2 :ile ea* wife1 confid+ 9 h] husb&'s hon\r & fai?fulness1 solac$ h]self ) ! hope t all might yet be well4 ,h[ little sometimes d ! songs ( gladness reflect ! real s5tim5ts ( ! he>t4 ,h[ (t5 h ,i he>d _m a poor he>t-brok5 woman s++ ! *orus1-- 8,i nev] knew :at joy 0 ,till ,i became a ,mormon40 ,i nev] c\ld s+ t song1 = my exp]i5ce _h be5 exactly ! rev]se4 ,x 0 ! mon? ( ,septemb]--! beg9n+ ( our beautiful ,indian summ]--:5 we em]g$ f ! caon1 & caught sight ( ,salt ,lake ,city4 ,ev]y?+ look$ gre5 & lovely1 & 9 spite ( all my sad =ebod+s :ile cross+ ! ,pla9s1 ,i involunt>ily exclaim$1 8,ah1 :at a glori\s spot60 ,x look$ l a beautiful g>d5--ano!r ,ed5--9 ! mid/ ( a des]t valley4 ,we _h a glimpse ( ! ,great ,salt ,lake f> away 9 ! di/ance1 /ret*+ out l a placid %eet ( molt5 silv]1 :ile ev]y:]e ar\nd 7 ! lonely-look+ sn[-clapp$ m\nta9s1 encircl+ u l mighty prison-walls4 ,x w\ld be impossible = me to describe my feel+s at t "t4 ,ev5 :ile ,i 0 en*ant$ ) ! glori\s prospect be=e me1 !re arose aga9 9 my m9d t haunt+ spectre ( my exi/5ce--,polygamy4 ,i believ$ t ?is little e>?ly p>adise w\ld probably be to me1 & my daught]s aft] me1 a prison-h\se1 & ) a "m's in/9ct ,i %udd]$ z ,i ?\ght ( :at !y might be de/9$ to suff] !re4 ,lovely z ! sc5e 01 !re 0 a fatal %ad[ ov]hang+ x all4 ,!n1 too1 !re 0 no escape3 if ! sad =ebod+s ( my he>t 7 realiz$1 x w\ld be utt]ly impossible = u ev] to get away4 ,! idea ( a railway be+ con/ruct$ across ^? des]t pla9s & rocky m\nta9s nev] = a mom5t ent]$ my m9d1 & ev5 _h ,i ?\ght x possible1 ,i %\ld h suppos$ t x w\ld take a lifetime to complete4 ,no1 !re 0 no help = me1 ev5 if x came to ! wor/4 ,i felt t my doom 0 seal$2 & !re 7 _m wom5 9 our company :o ?\ght j ! same z ,i did1 & :o 7 tr\bl$ at he>t ) fe>s z sad z m9e4 ,my fir/ impressions ( ,salt ,lake ,city :5 we began life !re 7 any?+ b pleasant--we _h to 8r\gh x40 ,= ne>ly two weeks we 7 oblig$ to rema9 9 our waggons1 z x 0 q impossible to obta9 h\se-room4 ,at t "t ea* family built _! own little hut1 & !re 7 no vacant h\ses to let4 ,illu/ration3 ,,view ,,( ,,ma9 ,,/reet1 ,,salt ,,lake ,,city4 7,f a ,photograph47 ,to face p4 #adh4 ,! wea!r 0 n[ gr[+ v cold & w9try1 & x 0 absolutely necess>y t we %\ld h "s bett] %elt] ?an ! waggons af=d$4 ,"o day my husb& told me1 :5 he came home1 t he _h be5 (f]$ a h\se :i* belong$ to ! ,*ur*4 ,x 0 9 a v dilapidat$ condition1 he said1 b t if ,i w\ld g & look at x ) him1 we c\ld !n decide ab\t tak+ x4 ,no "t 0 to be lo/1 = companies ( emigrants 7 com+ 9 almo/ daily1 & if we neglect$ ?is *ance we might n f9d ano!r4 ,:5 we arriv$ at ! h\se ,i 0 mu* disc\rag$ at see+ ! condition x 0 93 ! w9d[-panes 7 all crack$ or brok5 out1 ! floors & walls look$ z if !y _h nev] kn[n soap or pa9t1 & ! upp] rooms _h no ceil+s2 9 fact x 0 n fit = any civiliz$ ,*ri/ian to live 94 ,9 po9t ( size !re 0 no?+ to compla9 (1 b ( com=t or conv5i5ce !re 0 none--! w9d :i/l$ ?r\gh e door & e crack$ w9d[2 & altoge!r x pres5t$ any?+ b a *e]+ prospect = w9t]4 ,my husb& told me t ,daniel ,h4 ,wells1 :o 0 sup]9t5d5t ( ,*ur* prop]ty & also "o ( ! ,fir/ ,presid5cy ( ! ,*ur*1 _h promis$ him t if we took ! h\se x %\ld be repair$ & made fit = liv+ 9 be=e w9t] fully set 92 & "u ! circum/ances we ?\ght we c\ld d no bett] ?an accept 8 (f]4 ,?us we began h\sekeep+ 9 ,utah1 & we unpack$ our trunks & tri$ to give ! place z home-l an appe>ance z we possibly c\ld4 ,i _h kn[n :at x 0 to be 9 a /range c\ntry & de/itute2 &1 !re=e1 b5efit+ by exp]i5ce1 :5 ,i left ,new ,york1 reg>dless ( ! tea*+s ( ! ,eld]s & ( my own husb&'s directions to ! contr>y1 ,i _h secretly /[$ away _m little necess>ies t[>ds h\sekeep+4 ,inde$ _h ,i n done s1 we %\ld h be5 z badly (f :5 we rea*$ ,zion z :5 we arriv$ 9 ,new ,york4 ,besides :i*1 ,i h no d\bt t our waggons w\ld h be5 fill$ ) ! trunks ( ^? v bre?r5 :o c\nsell$ u n to take m ?an 0 absolutely necess>y4 ,! bre?r5 :o gave ?is c\nsel 71 ,i notic$1 con/antly pur*as+ :ile !y advis$ e "o else to sell1 & ,i ?\ght x wis] to foll[ _! example ?an _! precepts4 ,among my treasures 0 "s c>pet1 & :5 t 0 laid d[n & ! /ove put up we began to feel almo/ at home4 ,! w9d1 h[ev]1 soon drove away all ?\ghts ( com=t1 = x came :i/l+ 9 ?r\gh a ?\s& undetect$ crevices1 & ! tall[ c&les :i* we 7 oblig$ to burn pres5t$ a woeful spectacle4 ,ev5 ! mo/ weal?y1 !n1 _h no o!r light b c&les1 & e family _h to make _! own3 ,i h (t5 se5 p burn+ a little melt$ grease ) a bit ( cotton-rag /uck 9 ! middle = a wick--h[ pleasant ! smell1 & h[ brilliant ! light ?us produc$ c be imag9$4 ,ev]y?+ 0 ^u ! same scale--& to keep h\se 9 any fa%ion 0 really a =midable und]tak+1 especially to ^? :o _h be5 accu/om$ to ! conv5i5ces ( l>ge t[ns4 ,i believe t _m wom5 cons5t$ to _! husb&s tak+ o!r wives = ! sake ( gett+ "s assi/ance 9 _! home duties4 ,we sp5t ne>ly all ! fir/ ev5+ 9 our new h\se 9 try+ to discov] "s means ( keep+ out ! /orm1 b to little purpose4 ,ne>ly a =tnight pass$ be=e any "o came to see ab\t repair+ ! h\se1 b z x belong$ to ! ,*ur* my husb& seem$ to ?9k x mu/ be all "r4 ,! ,mormon m5 are always v l5i5t t[>ds 8! ,*ur*0--v mu* m s ?an ! ,mormon wom51 = ! latt] h someh[ got mix$ up 9 _! m9ds ! idea t ,brigham ,"y & 8! ,*ur*0 are synonym\s t]ms4 ,i rememb] "o day a good "y si/]--a daught] ( "o ( ! twelve ,apo/les--say+ to me1 8,i h j se5 ! ,*ur*10 & :5 ,i ask$ h] :at %e meant1 %e said1 8,i h j met ,brigham ,"y & ,hyram ,clawson1 & are !y n ! ,*ur*80 ,x 0 evid5t to me t o!rs besides myself sometimes gave way to wick$ ?\ghts4 ,nev]!less ,i 0 /ill ( op9ion t 8! ,*ur*0 _h pl5ty ( money & ought to h repair$ ! h\se4 ,"o day a man :om ,i _h nev] se5 be=e1 call$ ^u me & ask$ :at repairs ,i %\ld l done4 ,i 0 n feel+ v well1 & _h be5 annoy$ at ! delay1 & ,i answ]$ r ungraci\sly t ,i %\ld l any?+ done1 if x 7 only done at once1 = ,i ?\ght we _h wait$ long en\gh4 ,he answ]$ me v politely1 & said t he w\ld see to x imm$iately4 ,:5 ,mr4 ,/5h\se return$ home 9 ! ev5+1 he said1 8,s y h _h a visit f ,presid5t ,wells40 8,no10 ,i said1 8!re has be5 no "o "h b a c>p5t]--an ugly man ) a ca/ 9 8 eye1 & ,i told him t ,i want$ ! h\se fix$ "r away40 8,:y1 t 0 ,presid5t ,wells10 he said1 v mu* %ock$1 & ,i ?9k ,i felt z bad z he did :5 ,i realiz$ t ,i _h treat$ "o ( ! 8,fir/ ,presid5cy0 s unc]emoni\sly4 ,?is ,daniel ,h4 ,wells1 besides be+ an ,apo/le1 a ,c\nsellor ( ,brigham ,"y1 & "o ( ! ?ree 8,presid5ts0 :o %>e ) ,brigham ! fir/ position 9 ! ,*ur*1 & are associat$ ) him 9 all 8 (ficial acts1 0 ,lieut5ant-,g5]al ( ! ,nauvoo ,legion1 & at ! pres5t "t & = "s ye>s pa/ ,mayor ( ,salt ,lake ,city4 ,x 0 a %ock+ indiscretion1 to say ! lea/1 to speak slight+ly ( su* a high & mighty p]sonage4 ,! repairs1 h[ev]1 7 se5 to1 & ! h\se r5d]$ a little m habitable4 ,we _h n[ to beg9 ! /ruggle ( life afre%1 & c\ld n af=d to be too p>ticul> ab\t trifles2--to obta9 %elt] 0 some?+--= ! re/ we mu/ /ill cont9ue to hope & tru/4 ,,*apt] ,,xvii4 ,,my ,,fir/ ,,impressions ,,( ,,! ,,city ,,( ,,! ,,sa9ts4 ,:5 ,i arriv$ 9 ,salt ,lake ,city1 a great _m improvem5ts _h be5 effect$2 & expect+1 z ,i did t ?is w\ld be our future home = _m ye>s1 p]haps = life1 ,i 0 int]e/$ 9 ev]y?+ t ,i saw4 ,! fir/ ,sunday ,i w5t to ! ,tab]nacle ,i 0 greatly amus$ at ! way 9 :i* "s ( ! si/]s 7 dress$4 ,q a numb] wore sun-bonnets1 b ! majority wore curi\s & div]se specim5s ( ! mill9]'s art--relics ( =m] days4 ,"s wore a little tuft ( gauze & fea!rs on ! top ( ! head1 :ile o!rs _h helmets ( extraord9>y size4 ,!re 7 little bonnets1 half-gr[n bonnets1 & 8gr&mo!r bonnets0 ) /eeple cr[ns & fronts s l>ge t x 0 difficult to get a peep at ! faces :i* !y conceal$4 ,z = ! dresses1 !y 7 z div]sifi$ z ! bonnets4 ,"s ( !m pres5t$ a r curi\s spectacle4 ,i notic$ two "y wom5 :o sat ne> me3 !y 7 dress$ alike 9 gre5 calico sun-bonnets1 gre5 calico skirts1 & p9k calico sacks4 ,on inquir+ :o !y 71 ,i 0 told t !y 7 ! wives ( "o man1 & _h bo? be5 m>ri$ to him on ! same day1 s t nei!r c\ld claim prec$5ce ( ! o!r4 ,outside ( ,utah su* a ?+ w\ld seem impossible2 b s _m ( ! "y girls at t "t came out to ,zion )\t fa!r or "m or any "o else to guide !m2 & left to _! own inexp]i5ce & afraid to disobey 8c\nsel10 x is no wond] t !y soon yield$ to ! univ]sal cu/om4 ,! two "y wom5 :om ,i h m5tion$ did n appe> to me to be ov]burd5$ ) intellig5ce2 !y look$ l girls :o c\ld be made to believe any?+2 b aft] t ,i met ) two well-educat$ wom5 :o1 l ^! fooli% girls1 ?\ghtlessly tri$ ! exp]im5t ( two or m m>ry+ ! same man on ! same day1 agree+ ) _! 8"l0 t t w\ld be ! be/ way to pres]ve peace 9 _! h\sehold4 ,b !y 7 t]ribly mi/ak52 & ev5 be=e ! m>riage-day 0 ov]1 ! poor bewild]$ husb& _h to fly to ,bro!r ,brigham = c\nsel4 ,! ,tab]nacle s]vices seem$ to me z /range z ! wom54 ,!re 0 no regul> ord] 9 conduct+ ! proce$+s1 b ! prom95t bre?r5 made pray]s or 8s]mons0 z !y 7 call$ ^u to d s4 ,! 8s]mons0 w\ld be m prop]ly call$ spee*es2 !y are no?+ b a rambl+1 disconnect$ glorification ( ! ,sa9ts1 int]sp]s$ ) fe>ful d5unciations ( ! ,g5tiles1 & n unfrequ5tly a good spr9kl+ ( words & expressions su* z are nev] us$ 9 dec5t society4 ,m un$ify+ disc\rses c\ld h>dly be imag9$4 ,z = ! spirituality & devotional feel+ :i* *>act]iz$ our meet+s 9 ,engl&1 !y 7 only conspicu\s by _! abs5ce1 & _m dev\t ,sa9ts h told me t :5 !y fir/ w5t !re1 be=e ! erection ( ! great organ1 ! free-&-easy mann]s ( ! speak]s & ! brass b& :i* 0 /ation$ 9 front ( ! plat=m1 made !m feel z if !y _h come to witness a puppet-%[ r ?an to att5d a religi\s meet+4 ,!re 0 "o lady at ! ,tab]nacle s]vice :om ,i reg>d$ ) consid]able int]e/4 ,?is 0 no o!r ?an ,eliza ,r4 ,sn[1 "o ( ! ,prophet's wives4 ,i 0 told t %e 0 ! fir/ woman m>ri$ 9 ,polygamy aft] ,joseph ,smi? receiv$ ! ,revelation1 & ,i believ$ x 0 s4 ,p :o liv$ 9 ,nauvoo1 respectable p1 & n "o or two ei!r1 h assur$ me t = f\r ye>s be=e ,joseph is said to h receiv$ ! ,revelation1 he 0 practis+ ,polygamy1 or some?+ worse1 & t ! ,revelation 0 giv5 to ju/ify :at 0 already done4 ,h[ev] ?is might be1 x is g5]ally und]/ood t ,miss ,eliza ,sn[ 0 ! fir/ plural wife ( ! ,prophet4 ,h] pr9cipal occupation at ! pres5t "t is conv]t+ rebelli\s wives to ob$i5ce to _! husb&s1 & conv9c+ "y girls t x is _! duty to ent] into ,polygamy4 ,unhappy husb&s d]ive great consolation f h] c\nsels4 ,9 matt]s ( religion %e is a p]fect fanatic1 & 9 connexion ) ! ,female ,relief ,society %e reigns supreme2 b o!rwise !re are _m excell5t traits 9 h] "*1 & ,i c\ld tell ( _m acts ( lov+-k9dness & self-d5ial :i* %e has p]=m$1 & :i* w surely h _! rew>d4 ,z ! *ief poet ( ! ,mormon ,*ur*1 & z ! ,repres5tative ( ,eve 9 ! my/]ies ( ! ,end[m5t ,h\se1 %e enjoys a reputation su* z w\ld be impossible to any o!r woman among ! ,sa9ts4 ,ano!r ( ! late ,joseph's wives is a ,mrs4 ,doctor ,jacobs1 :o 0 actually m>ri$ to ! ,prophet :ile %e 0 /ill liv+ ) h] orig9al husb&1 ,jacobs4 ,"u ! same circum/ances %e m>ri$ ,brigham ,"y1 aft] ,joseph's dea?4 ,= "s "t h] husb& knew no?+ ( ! :ole affair1 b ,brigham v soon gave him to und]/& t 8 company 0 n want$4 ,! si/] ( ,mrs4 ,jacobs--a ,mrs4 ,buel--0 ano!r ( ,joseph's wives1 & %e m>ri$ ! ,apo/le ,heb] ,c4 ,kimball1 b does n appe> to h made a v good b>ga94 ,besides ^! !re is ano!r lady1 a ,mrs4 ,%e>]--or1 z %e is famili>ly call$--8,aunty ,%e>]40 ,%e is 9 e respect a unique specim5 ( womanhood1 tall & angul>1 ) cold yet eag] grey eyes2 a woman ( great volubility1 & altoge!r grim-look+ & /rong-m9d$4 ,%e 0 an e>ly disciple1 & is said to h sacrific$ ev]y?+ = ,mormonism4 ,%e liv$ 9 ,joseph ,smi?'s family1 &1 ( c\rse1 saw & he>d a great deal ab\t ,polygamy1 & at fir/ x 0 a great /umbl+-block to h]4 ,%e 01 h[ev]1 in/ruct$ by ! immaculate ,joseph1 & s f> manag$ to ov]come h] feel+s z to be m>ri$ to him = et]nity4 ,l ! o!rs1 %e is call$ 8,mrs410 & ,i suppose !re is a ,mr4 ,%e>] some:]e1 b ^u t po9t %e is v retic5t4 ,h] little lonely hut is fitt$ ) innum]able curiosities & little knick-knacks1 :i* "s p are = ev] ho>d+ away 9 ! belief t !y w come into use "s day4 ,%e is a woman t "o c\ld n easily =get4 ,%e we>s a musl9 cap ) a v wide bord] flapp+ 9 ! w9d "u a comical-look+ hood1 & is easily recogniz$ by h] old yell[ m>t5-fur cape & enorm\s muff3 h] dress1 :i* is ( h] own sp9n+ & weav+1 is b j wide en\gh1 & its l5g? c\ld nev] inconv5i5ce h]4 ,add to ^! p]sonal ornam5ts a /\t pair ( brogues1 & y w see be=e y 8,aunty ,%e>]10 "o ( ! ,prophet's spiritual wives4 ,i may z well expla9 :at is meant by 8spiritual0 wives & 8proxy0 wives4 ,m>riages contract$ by ! ,g5tiles1 or by ,mormons 9 accordance ) ,g5tile in/itutions1 are n consid]$ b9d+ by ! ,sa9ts4 ,t 0 p>tly ! cause ( my indignation & ! indignation ( _m ano!r wife & "m4 ,we 7 told t we _h nev] be5 m>ri$ at all1 & t our husb&s & our *ildr5 7 n lawfully ours3 surely t 0 en\gh to excite ! indignation ( any wife1 :atev] h] fai? might be4 ,= a m>riage to be valid x mu/ be solemniz$ 9 ! ,end[m5t ,h\se 9 ,salt ,lake ,city1 or ! p]sons contract+ x c nev] expect to be husb& & wife 9 et]nity4 ,%\ld ! husb& die be=e he rea*es ,zion1 & if ! wife loves him suffici5tly well to wi% to be 8 9 et]nity--:5 %e arrives 9 ,salt ,lake ,city1 if %e receives an (f] ( m>riage f "o ( ! bre?r51 & does n object to him z a second husb& 9 ?is _w1 %e w make an agreem5t ) him t %e w be 8 wife1 = "t1 b t 9 et]nity %e & all h] *ildr5 %all be h&$ ov] to ! fir/ husb&4 ,a woman ?us m>ri$ is call$ a 8proxy0 wife4 ,n[ 8spiritual0 wives are ( two classes4 ,! "o consi/s ( old ladies :o h pl5ty ( money or prop]ty :i* ( c\rse ne$s look+ aft]2 & g5]\s ,eld]s m>ry !m1 & accord+ly 8look aft]0 ! said prop]ty1 & ! own] ( x becomes ! ,eld]'s spiritual wife4 ,%e w only be 8 real wife 9 et]nity :5 %e is rejuv5at$4 ,! o!r k9d ( 8spiritual0 wife is "o :o is m>ri$ already1 b :o does n ?9k t h] husb& c 8exalt0 h] to s high a position 9 ! cele/ial _w z %e des]ves--p]haps "s k9d bro!r :o takes a great int]e/ 9 h] welf>e has told h] s--%e !n is secretly 8seal$0 to "o ( ! bre?r5 :o is bett] able to exalt h]--p]haps to ?is same bro!r2 & 9 ! resurrection %e w pass f him :o 0 h] husb& on e>? to him :o is to be h] husb& 9 heav5--if %e has n done s be=e4 ,?is is :at is meant by 8proxy0 & 8spiritual0 wives4 ,i ?9k x w be evid5t ev5 to ! dulle/ compreh5sion t "u su* a sy/em1 8! _w1 ! fle%1 & ! devil0 are f> m likely to play a prom95t "p ?an any?+ heav5ly or spiritual4 ,all ?is is s repugnant to ! in/9cts & feel+s ( a true woman1 t ,i feel q a%am$ to write ab\t x4 ,& yet ! work+ out ( ?is sy/em has produc$ results :i* w\ld be p]fectly grotesque 7 x n t !y outrage e ord9>y s5se ( propriety4 ,let me give an example4 ,"o ( ! wives ( ,brigham ,"y--,mrs4 ,augu/us ,cobb ,"y--a highly educat$ & intellig5t ,bo/on lady ) :om ,i am intimately acqua9t$1 reque/$ ( h] ,prophet husb& a fav\r ( a mo/ extraord9>y description4 ,%e _h =sak5 h] lawful husb& & family & a happy & luxuri\s home to jo9 ! ,sa9ts1 "u ! impression t ,brigham ,"y w\ld make h] 8 que5 9 heav54 ,%e 0 a h&some woman--a woman ( _m gifts & graces--& ,brigham ?or\ghly appreciat$ h]2 b %e made a slight miscalculation 9 respect to ! ,prophet4 ,he c>es little en\gh = 8 fir/ wife1 poor lady1 & few p :o "k him d\bt = a mom5t t he w\ld un-que5 h] & cut h] adrift = "t & et]nity too1 if 8 av>ici\s s\l saw ! slighte/ prospect ( ga9 by do+ s2 he did n c>e = h]1 b he nev] w\ld all[ himself to be dictat$ to by any woman4 ,s :5 ! lady ( :om ,i speak ask$ him to place h] at ! head ( 8 h\sehold1 he refus$3 %e begg$ h>d1 b he w\ld n rel5t4 ,!n f9d+ t %e c\ld n be ,brigham's 8que510 & hav+ be5 taught by ! highe/ ,mormon au?orities t our ,savi\r _h1 & has1 _m wives1 %e reque/$ to be 8seal$ to ,him60 ,brigham ,"y told h] 7= :at reason ,i d n "k7 t x really 0 out ( 8 p[] to d t1 b t he w\ld d 8! next be/ ?+0 = h]--he w\ld 8seal0 h] to ,joseph ,smi?4 ,%e 0 seal$ to ,joseph ,smi?1 & ?\gh ,brigham /ill supports h]1 & %e is call$ by 8 "n on e>?1 9 ! resurrection %e w leave him & g ov] to ! orig9al ,prophet4 ,! read] w be c]ta9ly %ock$ at ?is t]rible burlesque ( sacr$ ?+s1 b ,i felt x my duty to /ate ! tru? & place facts 9 _! "r light4 ,x is n g5]ally kn[n t ! ,mormons are taught t ! m>riage at ,cana ( ,galilee 0 ,*ri/'s own nuptial fea/1 t ,m>y & ,m>?a 7 8 plural wives1 & t ^? wom5 :o 9 v>i\s p>ts ( ! ,new ,te/am5t are spok5 ( z m9i/]+ to him /ood to him 9 ! same relation4 ,malici\s fir/ wives1 especially if !y are r eld]ly !mselves1 frequ5tly call ! proxy wives 8fix9s20 & ! tone 9 :i* "s ( !m utt] ! ^w is 9 ! la/ degree contemptu\s4 ,^! poor 8fix9s0 are seldom treat$ z real wives by ! husb& himself4 ,he may ?9k suffici5tly well ( ! 8proxy0 wife to make h] 8 = "t & to raise up *ildr5 to 8 fri5d1 z ! ,eld]s say1 b he nev] =gets t 9 et]nity %e w be h&$ ov] to ! man = :om he has /ood proxy1 & he expects t %e also w be> t 9 m9d1 & d all %e c = h] own support1 & nev] compla9 ( 8 want ( att5tion to h]4 ,"s m51 aft] hav+ m>ri$ a "y proxy wife1 h become s enam\r$ t !y grew jeal\s ( ! dead husb&1 & h tri$ to get ! wife to break fai? ) him1 & be m>ri$ to !m = et]nity z well z "t4 ,?is 0 c]ta9ly r mean4 ,v few ,g5tile husb&s w\ld fret !mselves ab\t possibilities 9 ! _w to come1 if 9 ?is _w !y _h ! c]ta9ty ( enjoy+ ! undivid$ affections ( _! wives4 ,mormon husb&s are s influ5c$ by _! religion t !y nei!r act nor ?9k l o!r m54 ,i am ?9k+ ( "o wret*$ family t ,i knew soon aft] ,i w5t to ,utah4 ,!re 0 a man & 8 wife & f\r *ildr51 all liv+ toge!r 9 a mis]able1 pov]ty-/rick5 hut4 ,i _h he>d t ! man 0 pay+ att5tions to a "y girl ) a view ( mak+ h] 8 second wife1 & ,i frequ5tly wat*$ ! fir/ wife z %e w5t 9 & out1 do+ h] 8*ores10 & wond]$ h[ %e felt ab\t x4 ,! pov]ty ( ! man1 ( c\rse1 0 ( no consequ5ce2 liv+ 9 ! primitive /yle 9 :i* necessity !n compell$ ! ,sa9ts to live1 "o1 or ev5 half-a-doz5 extra wives made v little diff]5ce1 & ,brigham & ! lead+ ,eld]s h always repres5t$ x z a m]itori\s act1 = ! "y especially1 to 8build up ! k+dom10 )\t reg>d to consequ5ces1 or ! mis]y ( br++ up a family 9 a de/itute condition4 ,i nev] c see *ildr5 )\t lov+ !m1 & 9 ?is case x 0 n long be=e ,i contriv$ to make acqua9tance ) ! little ones4 ,"o day1 :ile ,i 0 talk+ to !m1 ! "m came out4 ,%e seem$ pleas$ to see me1 = %e _h he>d ( me t ,i 0 n too /rong 9 ! fai?1 & %e told me t h] husb& _h said1 9 speak+ ( su* wom5 z myself1 :o did n l ! cele/ial ord] ( m>riage1 t _! husb&s ought to =ce !m "r into x1 & t w\ld %[ :at !y 7 made (3 if !y 7 true-he>t$ wom51 seek+ _! husb&'s glory & 8exaltation0 9 ! _w to come1 !y w\ld be> x well en\gh2 & if n1 ! soon] x kill$ !m ! bett]2 = if !y 7 dead _! husb&s c\ld save !m 9 ! resurrection1 b if !y liv$ !y w\ld only be an incumbrance4 ,?is1 ,i f\nd1 0 ! g5]al op9ion among ! ,mormon m54 ,ev5 9 ,engl& ! ,am]ican ,eld]s _h taught u t ! man 0 ! head & 8savi\r0 ( ! woman1 & t ! woman 0 only responsible to h] husb&4 ,x 0 necess>y1 we 7 told1 t ! woman %\ld keep 9 fav\r ) h] "l1 o!rwise he might )draw 8 protection & refuse to take h] into ! cele/ial k+dom2 9 :i* case :5 %e got to heav5 %e w\ld only be an angel6 ,to be an angel is n consid]$ by ! ,sa9ts to be by any means ! highe/ /ate ( glory4 ,^? :o d n obey ! 8,cele/ial ,ord] ( ,m>riage0 w1 l ! angels1 nei!r m>ry nor be giv5 9 m>riage2 !y w be locat$1 ! m5 9 "o place1 & ! wom5 9 ano!r1 & w s]ve z slaves1 lackeys1 & boot-blacks to ! ,sa9ts4 ,brigham ,"y once publicly said ( a c]ta9 ,presid5t ( ! ,unit$ ,/ates1 t he w\ld clean ! boots ( ! ,mormon lead]s 9 heav54 ,he did n say ?is z a figure ( spee*1 b meant x lit]ally4 ,^? :o h obey$ ! ,gospel ( ! new disp5sation1 b :o h fail$ to ent] into ,polygamy1 w be z upp] s]vants2 b ! rebelli\s--! 8vile apo/ates0 & ! 8wick$ ,g5tiles0--w jo9 ! angels & d all ! drudg]y = ! m5 ( _m wives4 ,?us ,i le>n$ 9 ,zion t my y\?ful notions ab\t ! glory ( ! *]ubim 7 q a mi/ake1 & t x 0 n su* a f9e ?+ to be an angel aft] all4 ,b ,i h run away f my /ory1 & _h almo/ =gott5 my poor acqua9tance4 ,%e 0 a woman :o 0 likely to pres]ve a pa9ful place 9 ! memory ( any "o :o once saw h]4 ,h] face 0 pale z dea?1 & h] jet-black eyes gli/5$ ) an une>?ly lu/re2 x 0 easy to p]ceive t %e 0 v unhappy1 al?\gh %e tri$ h>d to exhibit a *e]ful disposition1 & :5 our conv]sation turn$ to t subject :i* to wom5 "h is all-absorb+1 ! n]v\s twit*+ ( h] pale face %[$ h[ deeply pa9ful su* ?\ghts 7 to h]4 ,%e told me t h] husb& 0 soon to be m>ri$ to a "y girl ab\t f\rte5 ye>s ( age4 8,d y see10 %e said1 8t he is build+ = h]80 ,& sure en\gh he 01 at odd h\rs1 add+ ano!r hut to ! mis]able hovel 9 :i* !y already liv$2 & ?i!r1 :5 x 0 f9i%$1 he int5d$ to take 8 bride4 ,z ,i look$ at ! poor wife1 ,i felt little d\bt t ere t "t came1 h] tr\bles on e>? w\ld h end$1 & h] little ones w\ld be mo!rless4 ,! ,mormon wom51 z well z ! ,mormon m51 are not$ = att5d+ to _! own bus9ess--!y d n c>e to tell _! sorr[s & trials to /rang]s or to p :o are n ( _! own fai?4 ,9 ?is way visitors to ,salt ,lake :o h gone !re ) ! int5tion ( 8writ+-up0 ! ,sa9ts 9 ! newspap]s or 9 a book1 h g5]ally be5 misl$4 ,my own exp]i5ce z a ,mormon woman leads me to =m any?+ b a flatt]+ op9ion ( ! ,mormon /ories told by ,g5tile p5s4 ,! foll[+ in/ance w %[ t ! si/]s are n q s free 9 giv+ _! exp]i5ce z "s writ]s w\ld sugge/4 ,"o day1 :ile pass+ ?r\gh ! city1 ,i saw a "y woman runn+ across ! road ) a little *ild 9 h] arms4 ,! *ild 0 cry+ pite\sly1 = ! wat] 0 runn+ f its clo?+1 & ,i saw 9 a mom5t t x _h fall5 into ! /ream :i* ran 9 front ( ! h\se4 ,i foll[$1 to see if ,i c\ld be ( any assi/ance1 b =tunately f\nd t ! little creature 0 n s]i\sly hurt1 b w\ld soon recov] f ! fright & cold4 ,i help$ ! "m to *ange its clo?+1 & :ile %e 0 lull+ h] baby to sleep we ent]$ into conv]sation4 ,at fir/ %e appe>$ to be v %y ( me1 & avoid$ speak+ ( any?+ 9 ! slighte/ degree p]sonal2 b gr[+ m int]e/$1 %e said at la/1-- 8,are y a ,mormon80 8,c]ta9ly10 ,i answ]$2 8b :y d y ask me80 8,because10 %e said1 8we h _h "o or two ,g5tile wom5 among u1 & !y g r\nd among our p & "q ! wom51 & get !m to tell _! tr\bles1 :i* ,god kn[s are heavy en\gh2 & !n !y g & write ab\t x1 & ,brigham ,"y f9ds x out1 & _! husb&s are call$ to acc\nt = all[+ _! wives to speak to ! ,g5tiles4 ,y are sure y are a ,mormon80 %e add$1 8& y are n deceiv+ me80 8,i'm sorry y %\ld ?9k su* a ?+10 ,i said2 8b if y suppose ,i w\ld deceive y1 ,i w n tr\ble y ) my company40 ,& ,i rose up to leave4 8,d n g yet10 %e said1 8& pray =give me1 if ,i h w\nd$ y\r feel+s2 x is simply ! fe> ,i h ( gett+ into tr\ble4 ,brigham ,"y & ! ,eld]s h frequ5tly told u to h no?+ to d ) ! ,g5tiles1 = !y are enemies to ! k+dom ( ,god1 & are seek+ our ov]?r[--& ,i suppose x is true40 8,h[ long h y be5 "h80 ,i ask$4 8,ov] two ye>s10 %e repli$1 8& x seems almo/ tw5ty--"t has pass$ s sl[ly4 ,i left fa!r & "m1 si/]s & bro!r1 = ! ,gospel's sake1 & ,i d n regret x1 because x is "r2 b x 0 a v great sacrifice to make4 ,yet ,i believe t ,god blesses u = ! sacrifices we make1 & ,i %all get my rew>d40 8,y h x already10 ,i said1 89 t pretty *ild on y\r knee2 & y\r husb&1 ,i hope1 is a good man & k9d to y40 8,yes10 %e answ]$1 8my *ild is a v great s\rce ( happ9ess to me1 & ,i love my husb& v mu*1 b--0 7hesitat+ly7 8are y 9 ,polygamy80 8,no1 n yet2 b ,i d n "k h[ soon my husb& may take x into 8 head to get ano!r wife40 8,are y fir/ wife80 %e ask$4 8,yes10 ,i repli$1 8& ,i suppose y are also80 8,no1 ,i am ?ird wife10 %e said1 8,i wi% ,i 7 fir/ wife40 8,b :y10 ,i sugge/$1 8d y wi% t8 ,if ,polygamy is ! true ord] ( m>riage1 ,i d n see t x makes mu* diff]5ce :e!r "o is ! fir/ or ! tw5tie? wife80 8,oh de>1 yes10 %e repli$1 8x does make a great deal ( diff]5ce2 = ! fir/ wife w be que5 ov] all ! o!rs1 & reign ) h] husb&4 ,if ,i _h kn[n t be=e ,i 0 m>ri$1 ,i %\ld h made my husb& promise to place me fir/4 ,m5 c d t if !y l40 8,b d y ?9k y w\ld be do+ "r 9 try+ to ga9 ! position ( fir/ wife 9 t way80 8,:y n80 %e said2 8didn't ,jacob obta9 8 bro!r's bir?right by deception--& 0 he ev] puni%$ = x8 ,d y ?9k t ,bro!r ,brigham1 not)/&+ t he is ! inspir$ s]vant ( ,god1 c\ld h obta9$ 8 position1 & all 8 money1 by simple hone/ deal+8 ,if y ?9k s1 ,i don't2 & x is j z prop] & "r = u wom5 to secure a position = ourselves by su* means z x is = ,brigham ,"y--! end ju/ifies ! means40 8,if t is s10 ,i said1 8x is a wond] to me t any woman %\ld cons5t to become second1 ?ird1 or f\r? wife--see+ !y _c be que5s40 8,i c see t y h n yet _h y\r #8,end[m5ts1'0 %e said1 8or y w\ld und]/& m ab\t ^! ?+s2 b z y are a good ,mormon1 ,i c speak freely to y4 ,y see x is n always ^? :o are fir/ wives 9 ?is _w :o w be fir/ 9 ! cele/ial k+dom4 ,x all dep5ds ^u ! am\nt ( sacrifice ! wife is capable ( mak+ = h] husb&1 h] fai?fulness to him1 & ! numb] ( *ildr5 %e has borne him4 ,if %e pleases him 9 e p>ticul>1 & is good1 pati5t1 & above all ?+s ob$i5t to all 8 wi%es & comm&s1 !n %e is almo/ c]ta9 to be made que51 unless ! fir/ wife is j z good1 & !n ,i don't "k h[ !y w\ld fix t4 ,& s y see x is saf] to be fir/ wife at once40 8,well1 b10 ,i ask$1 8kn[+ all ?is1 ,i am surpris$ t y cons5t$ to be ?ird wife60 8,b ,i did n "k x !n10 %e cont9u$4 8,my husb& told me t all ! wives 7 que5s--all equal--& he says s /ill :5 ,i talk to him ab\t x4 ,b he c't deceive me4 ,i h spok5 to "s ( ! old ,nauvoo wom5 :o "k all ab\t x1 & !y tell me t all ! ,polygamic wives w be subject to ! fir/ wife2 b ! fir/ wife1 hav+ suff]$ mo/1 w be ! "o :o has gone ?r\gh ! fire & be5 purifi$1 & f\nd wor?y40 8,b d y ?9k t y\r husb& w\ld wi% to deceive y ab\t su* an important matt]80 ,i said4 8,wait till y h liv$ a little long] "h10 %e repli$1 8& y w be able to answ] t "q y\rself1 or else y\r exp]i5ce w be v diff]5t f t ( ! re/ ( ! p "h40 ,j !n ! husb& made 8 appe>ance1 & put an end to ! conv]sation4 ,he 0 a tall1 d>k-look+ man1 ) grey hair1 old en\gh to be h] fa!r4 ,he appe>$ to be well educat$ & to h se5 bett] days1 ?\gh ev]y?+ ab\t _! home indicat$ pov]ty--! room 9 :i* we 7 sitt+ _h no c>pet on ! floor1 !re 0 a pla9 :ite-p9e table 9 ! middle1 a small %eet-iron /ove1 f\r wood5 *airs1 a small look+-glass1 & "s *eap pictures4 ,?is 0 ! sitt+-room = ! :ole family--?ree wives1 elev5 *ildr51 "o husb&4 ,he ask$ me if ,i _h se5 ! re/ ( ! family4 ,i repli$ negatively1 & he said he w\ld see if any ( !m 7 ab\t4 ,pres5tly he return$ accompani$ by an eld]ly woman :om he introduc$ z ,mrs4 ,simpson4 ,!n came ano!r1 n q z good-look+ z ! fir/1 b a great deal y\ng]1 & he introduc$ h] z 8,my wife ,ell54 ,& ?is "o10 he said1 turn+ to ! "o ) :om ,i _h be5 conv]s+1 8is my wife ,s>ah4 ,don't y ?9k ,i h got ?ree f9e-look+ wom580 ,!n1 aft] a pause1 he add$1 8,& !y are j z good z !y are good-look+--good1 ob$i5t wives4 ,i h no tr\ble ) !m2 my wi%es are law 9 ?is h\se4 ,"h y h a family 9 :i* ! ,_s ( ,god reigns4 ,we are n ri* 9 worldly goods1 z y see1 b we are lay+ up treasure 9 heav54 ,we all live 9 ?is little home ( f\r rooms4 ,my wife ,ell5 "h1 has giv5 up h] room = a p>l\r = u all to meet toge!r 91 & %e sleeps 9 a waggon-box2 x is n ! mo/ com=table1 b %e nev] grumbles4 ,!n1 "h is our ,s>ah2 we are oblig$ to hum\r h] a little1 & give h] a room all to h]self4 ,%e is "y & inexp]i5c$1 & doesn't l to put up ) ! inconv5i5ces t ! ,sa9ts h to be> )2 :ile old "m "h has got to h half-a-doz5 *ildr5 9 h] room1 b %e nev] compla9s40 8,:y did y n wait10 ,i said1 8until y _h a l>g] h\se80 8,!n :]e w\ld my k+dom be80 he answ]$1 8,"y m5 may wait1 b old m5 mu/ improve _! "t40 ,!re came 9 n[ a troop ( *ildr5 ( all ages4 ,!y _h be5 play+ 9 ! lot1 7 mis]ably clad1 b>efoot$1 & "s look$ gaunt & hungry3--mann]s to mat*4 8,^!10 he said1 ) all a fa!r's fondness--8^! con/itute my k+dom1 & ,i am pr\d ( !m40 ,i felt ?ankful t ,i 0 n de/9$ to be que5 ov] su* a k+dom1 wi%$ !m good-bye1 & ) a sad he>t w5t home to my own d>l+ little ones1 n kn[+ :at might be _! fate4 ,illu/ration3 ,brigham ,"y ,,*apt] ,,xviii4 ,,brigham ,,"y ,,at ,,home3--,,we ,,visit ,,! ,,prophet ,,& ,,8 ,,wives4 ,%ortly aft] our arrival 9 ,salt ,lake ,city we visit$ ,presid5t ,"y1 :o receiv$ u v graci\sly & appo9t$ an e>ly day = u to d9e ) him4 ,on t occasion he invit$ "s ( ! ,apo/les & lead+ m5 to meet u at 8 table1 & we pass$ an exce$+ly pleasant ev5+4 ,! ,prophet made himself v affable2 talk$ ) u ab\t our mission>y life & o!r subjects ( p]sonal & g5]al int]e/2 & express$ a high op9ion ( ! en]gy & ability :i* my husb& _h display$4 ,8 wives1 too1--:om ,i f\nd1 z f> z ,i c\ld judge f su* a casual acqua9tance1 to be amiable & k9d-he>t$ ladies1--made e ef=t to r5d] our visit agreeable4 ,i 0 mu* pleas$ ) ! mann] & appe>ance ( ,brigham ,"y1 & felt greatly reassur$2 = he did n seem to me l a man :o w\ld prea* & practise su* ?+s z ,i _h he>d ( him :ile ,i 0 9 ,london4 ,?is ,i 0 glad to see1 = x enc\rag$ me to ?9k t1 p]haps1 aft] all1 matt]s might n be s bad z ,i _h anticipat$4 ,we 71 9 fact1 v k9dly receiv$ 9 ,salt ,lake ,city by e "o ) :om we came 9 contact2 = hav+ be5 ,mission>ies = s _m ye>s1 we 71 ( c\rse1 well kn[n by "n1 & _h a wide circle ( acqua9tances among ! *ief ,eld]s & emigrants4 ,fifte5 ye>s h1 ( c\rse1 work$ a great *ange 9 ! appe>ance ( ,brigham ,"y2 b ?\gh he is n[ ne>ly sev5ty-?ree ye>s ( age1 he is /ill a portly-look+--,i might almo/ say h&some man4 ,8 good looks are n ( ! poetic or romantic k9d at all2 he is v common-place & practical 9 8 appe>ance1 b long & habitual ex]cise ( despotic au?ority has /amp$ itself ^u 8 features1 & is se5 ev5 9 ! way he c>ries himself3 he might )\t any /ret* ( ! imag9ation be mi/ak5 = a retir$ sea-capta94 ,:5 ,i fir/ knew him1 9 appe>ance he 0 little ov] fifty ye>s ( age1 0 ( m$ium height1 well built1 upright1 &1 z ,i j /at$1 _h ! air ( "o accu/om$ to be obey$4 ,8 hair 0 light1--s&y1 ,i suppose ,i ought to call x1--) eyes to mat*2 & ! expression ( 8 c\nt5ance 0 pleasant & manly4 ,i1 ( c\rse1 reg>d$ him f a woman's /&-po9t2 b !re 7 o!rs :o 7 accu/om$ to /udy physiognomy1 & !y detect$--or ?\ght !y detect$--9 ! cold expression ( 8 eye & ! /]n1 h>d l9es ( 8 lips1 evid5ces ( cruelty1 selfi%ness1 & dogg$ det]m9ation :i*1 x is only fair to say1 ,i myself nev] saw4 ,! l9es on 8 face h deep5$ ( late ye>s1 z :at little ( g5tl5ess 8 he>t ev] knew has di$ out )9 him2 b /ill he pres5ts ! appe>ance ( a man :o w\ld af=d a deep /udy to ! obs]v] ( human nature4 ,9 e>ly life he _h to "w h>d = a liv+1 & accord+ to 8 own /atem5t he _h a r\gh "t ( x4 ,he 01 by trade1 a pa9t] & glazi]1 & has frequ5tly said 9 public t 9 ^? times he 0 glad to "w = 8six bits0 a day1 & to keep 8 h&s busy f morn+ to night to get ev5 t4 ,:e!r or n ! privations ( e>ly ye>s fo/]$ 9 him t av>ici\s & grasp+ _s :i* ( late ye>s has be5 s conspicu\s 9 him1 ,i _c say1 b x is c]ta9 t x cropp$ out v e>ly 9 8 c>e] z a ,sa9t4 ,an old ,nauvoo ,mission>y1--a ,mormon ( ! ,mormons once1 b n[1 alas6 a 8vile apo/ate0 z ,brigham w\ld politely call him1--once told me t :5 ! ,prophet ,joseph ,smi? s5t ! ,apo/le ,"y on ,mission1 a good deal ( discont5t 0 %[n t ! said ,apo/le did n acc\nt prop]ly = ! collections & ti?+s :i* pass$ ?r\gh 8 h&s4 ,bro!r ,joseph :o 0 !n 8! ,*ur*0 sugge/$ 9 a pleasant way--= ! ,prophet ,smi? 0 a big1 jovial fell[1 six feet two or ?ree in*es 9 height1 & )al some:at ( a humori/--t ! said ,apo/le ,brigham w\ld appe> 9 8 eyes a bett] ,sa9t if he display$ a little less love = fil?y lucre4 ,!reupon ! ,apo/le1 l somebody else :o %all be nameless1 quot$ ,scripture1 & rem9d$ ! ,prophet t ,moses _h said1 8,?\ %alt n muzzle ! m\? ( ! ox t treade? out ! corn40 8,true1 ,bro!r ,brigham10 said ,joseph1 8b ,moses did n say ! ox 0 to eat up all ! corn40 ,bro!r ,brigham made no reply1 b is said to h 8sulk$0 = two or ?ree days4 ,i h (t5 he>d intellig5t ,g5tiles rem>k1 8,well1 ,brigham ,"y may be a wick$ man & an impo/or1 b !re mu/ be a great deal ( tal5t 9 him1 to manage ^? p = s _m ye>s40 ,f ?is op9ion ,i altoge!r diss5t2 & ^? :o "k ,brigham be/1 ?9k ) me1 ?\gh _m ( !m w\ld n d>e to say s4 ,i d n ?9k ,brigham ,"y a wick$ man or an impo/or 9 ! s5se 9 :i* ^? words are ord9>ily us$2 b exp]i5ce1 & a c>eful /udy ( 8 life & do+s1 h conv9c$ me t he is c]ta9ly n a great man or a man ( g5ius 9 any s5se ( ! ^w4 ,!re c be no d\bt t he has be5 guilty ( _m & great crimes1 b ,i believe t 9 ! e>ly "p ( 8 c>e] he 0 s bl9d$ by fanaticism t ^? crimes appe>$ to him actually virtues3--! =ce ( habit & ! daily associations ( 8 life h s completely tak5 f him all s5se ( "r & wrong2 :ile ! devotion ( 8 p has made ! idea t he c\ld possibly d ! slighte/ wrong s utt]ly inconceivable to him & to !m1 t 8 p]ceptions ( ju/ice1 tru?1 hon\r1 hone/y1 & upright deal+ are z utt]ly /ultifi$ z !y ev] 7 9 ! m9d ( ! wilde/ savage :o pr[l$ among ! cliffs & caons ( ! ,rocky ,m\nta9s4 ,p ?9k t ,brigham ,"y atta9$ to 8 pres5t position by ! ex]cise ( ability1 su* z has be5 display$1 only on a great] scale1 by all ^? m5 :o1 n be+ born to p[]1 nor hav+ x ?ru/ ^u !m1 h by ! =ce ( _! g5ius seiz$ x & held x--unlawfully x might be1 b1 nev]!less1 ) tal5t & moral en]gy4 ,( ! ,prophet's moral "*1 ! less said ! bett]4 ,he has be5 remorseless & cruel 9 8 enmities1 & he has conniv$ at & ev5 sugge/$1 if no?+ m1 "s ( ! mo/ atroci\s crimes t h ev] be5 p]petrat$ on ! face ( ! e>?4 ,9 bus9ess matt]s1 9 ! paym5t ( money--to use a popul> phrase--8 ^w is z good z 8 bond1 b 9 ! accumulation ( weal? he has ev9c$ an am\nt ( di%one/y :i* c sc>cely be cr$it$4 ,brigham always meets 8 obligations1 & pays 8 debts1 & gets a lawful receipt3--! prophetic bus9ess c\ld n o!rwise be c>ri$ on2 b ! way 9 :i* he has obta9$ 8 weal? w\ld put to ! blu% ! mo/ di%one/ memb] ( any 8r+0 9 ,new ,york1 or else:]e4 ,:5 he att5d$ 8 fir/ ,conf]5ce1 he says he _h to borr[ c]ta9 mascul9e g>m5ts & a pair ( boots be=e he c\ld put 9 an appe>ance4 ,n[ x w\ld be difficult to e/imate ! value ( 8 prop]ty4 ,he has tak5 up l>ge tracts ( l& all ov] ! ,t]ritory1 he has ! uncontroll$ & unque/ion$ comm& ( all ! ti?+ & contributions ( ! ,sa9ts1 & f gifts & confiscations1 & innum]able o!r s\rces1 8 rev5ue p\rs 94 ,x 0 once rum\r$ t he _h eighte5 or tw5ty millions ( doll>s 9 ! ,bank ( ,engl&2 b ,brigham said t ! report 0 n true4 8,! ,*ur*10 he add$1 _h a little money inve/$ abroad4 ,! diff]5ce betwe5 8,! ,*ur*0 & ! individual ,brigham ,"y has yet to be det]m9$4 ,9 ! ye> #aheb ! 8,prophet ( ! ,"l0 f\nd t he _h borr[$ an inconv5i5tly l>ge sum f ! funds ( ! ,*ur*4 ,he is 8,tru/ee 9 ,tru/0 &1 ( c\rse1 legally responsible2 b he nev] r5d]s an acc\nt ( 8 /ew>d%ip1 & no "o ev] asks him = x4 ,8 s5se ( hone/y 01 h[ev]1 s /rong t he resolv$ to h 8 acc\nt balanc$1 & he w5t d[n to ! ,ti?+-,(fice = t purpose4 ,!re he f\nd t 8 indebt$ness am\nt$ to two hundr$ ?\s& doll>s1 & he proce$$ to pay x aft] 8 own fa%ion3 ! cl]k 0 in/ruct$ to place to 8 cr$it ! same am\nt 8= s]vices r5d]$40 ,9 #ahfg1 he ow$ v ne>ly "o million doll>s1 :i* he _h borr[$ f ! same fund1 & he balanc$ 8 acc\nt 9 ! same way4 ,8 contract = ! ,pacific ,railroad is said to h yield$ him a qu>t] ( a million1 & 8 o!r contracts & m9+ speculations1 pur*ases & !fts ( l&s1 h\ses1 c41 h be5 v pr(itable4 ,! exp5ses ( su* a family z ,bro!r ,brigham's mu/ be some?+ enorm\s1 b ! contributions :i* by hone/ & di%one/ means he has levi$ h be5 s l>ge t he mu/ /ill be "o ( ! weal?ie/ m5 9 ! ,/ates4 ,brigham is n a g5]\s man4 ,he has giv5 occasionally1 z = in/ance at ! "t ( ! ,*icago fire1 :5 he pres5t$ a ?\s& doll>s = ! suff]]s1 b ev5 !n 8 motive 0 evid5t--! affairs ( 8,des]et0 7 "u discussion 9 ,congress4 ,)\t ! c]ta9ty ( a pr(itable return1 ,brigham nev] gave a c5t4 ,! /ory ( 8 sordid av>ice & 8 contemptible meanness 9 ! accumulation ( money w\ld fill a volume4 ,morally & physically ! ,prophet is a great c[>d4 ,:5 he & o!r ,*ur* lead]s 7 arre/$ a ye> or two ago1 *>g$ ) ! v grave/ crimes1 ! effect ^u ! ,prophet 0 mo/ di/ress+4 ,he _h solemnly sworn 9 ! ,tab]nacle t he w\ld %oot ! man :o attempt$ to arre/ him2 b :5 ,judge ,mc,kean op5$ c\rt & plac$ him "u arre/1 he swall[$ 8 ?reats & play$ ! c[>d's "p4 ,be=e ?is ! _w has se5 wret*es :o 7 notori\s = _! cruelty & tyranny1 & :o 7 also rem>kable = _! c[>dice4 ,= _m ye>s he has imitat$ royalty & has _h a /rong body-gu>d to keep wat* & w>d ar\nd 8 p]son e night4 ,no man has less cause to appreh5d p]sonal viol5ce ?an ,bro!r ,brigham1 b ! voice ( consci5ce1 :i*1 z ! poet says1 makes c[>ds ( u all1 sugge/s 8 fe>s4 ,,*apt] ,,xix4 ,,! ,,wives ,,( ,,brigham ,,"y3--,,_! ,,hi/ory ,,& ,,_! ,,daily ,,life4 ,! wives ( ,brigham ,"y h always be5 subjects ( int]e/ to ,g5tiles :o visit$ ,zion2 & hav+ spok5 ( _! husb&1 ,i ?9k x is only fair t ,i %\ld say a few words ab\t !m4 ,= _m ye>s ,i h kn[n p]sonally all ! ,prophet's wives :o reside 9 ,salt ,lake ,city1 & ,i wi% to speak ( !m ) k9dness & respect4 ,!y are wom5 :om any "o w\ld e/eem--consci5ti\s1 good1 e>ne/ wom52 fai?ful1 true-he>t$ wives1 :o h devot$ _! lives to ! c>ry+ out ( :at !y believe is ! reveal$ w ( ,god4 ,:5 ,i fir/ knew ,bro!r ,brigham1 poor man1 he _h only sixte5 liv+ ) him 9 ,salt ,lake ,city2 & ev5 n[ he has no m ?an n9ete56 ,p]haps ,i ought to say eighte51 s9ce ,eliza-,ann has run away f him1 & left ! poor old g5tleman desolate & =lorn4 ,! ?ree :om he took aft] ,i came to ,utah1 7 ,amelia ,folsom1 ,m>y ,van ,cott ,cobb1 & ,eliza-,ann4 ,b ! read] w p]haps be int]e/$ 9 he>+ ab\t !m all1 & s ,i w /ate ! names & ord] ( ! ladies z !y at pres5t /&--accord+ to ! date ( _! m>riage2 mak+ m5tion ( ! proxy wives la/ ( all1 = ! sake ( conv5i5ce & )\t ref]5ce to date4 ,( c\rse ,bro!r ,brigham has _h _m m ?an n9ete5 wives1 b ! foll[+ are ! liv+ ladies2 o!rs are dead or h /ray$ away1 no "o knew :i!r1 & p]haps1 z ,bro!r ,heb] once said to me1 nobody c>$4 ,illu/ration3 ,,amelia ,,folsom ,,"y1 ,,brigham',s ,,favorite ,,wife4 8,,eliza ,,ann10 ,,brigham',s ,,n9ete5? ,,wife4 ,,bro!r ,,brigham',s ,,la/ ,,baby4 ,,miss ,,eliza ,r4 ,,sn[1 ,,mormon ,,poetess ,,& ,,high ,,prie/ess4 ,,mrs4 ,,john ,w4 ,,"y1 ,,wife ,,( ,,brigham',s ,,apo/ate ,,son4 ,to face p4 #afh4 ,all[ me to introduce ! ,mrs4 ,"y4 ,,mrs4 ,,m>y ,,ann ,,angell ,,"y4 ,numb] ,"o4 ,fir/ 9 ord] is ,mrs4 ,m>y ,ann ,angell ,"y1 b %e is n ! fir/ wife t ,bro!r ,brigham ev] _h4 ,once ^u a "t1 ,bro!r ,brigham 0 a ,me?odi/2 b aft] li/5+ to ! prea*+ ( ! ,mormon ,mission>ies he became a vile apo/ate--z he loves to call ^? :o leave 8 pres5t fai?--& he =sook ,me?odism4 ,9 ^? days1 be=e he apo/atis$1 & long be=e he ev] dream$ ( ,polygamy1 he _h b "o wife--"o only6 ,x mu/ seem /range to ! ,prophet to look back to t p]iod ( solit>y exi/5ce4 ,8 second wife 0 ,mrs4 ,angell ,"y2 & ,i call h] 8 fir/ wife because %e is ! fir/ ( ^? liv+ n[4 ,z %e 0 m>ri$ to him aft] ! dea? ( 8 fir/ wife1 %e is1 ( c\rse1 8 legal wife1 & w\ld be recogniz$ z su* 9 any civiliz$ c\ntry4 ,%e is a v f9e-look+ old lady & v mu* devot$ to h] unfai?ful "l & ma/]1 firmly believ+ 9 8 div9e mission4 ,%e lives by h]self & is seldom tr\bl$ ) a visit f h] affectionate sp\se4 ,once 9 a :ile ,brigham br+s h] out to a p>ty :5 he has invit$ any ,g5tiles1 j = appe>ance sake4 ,q a numb] ( p]sons 9 ,utah believe t %e is dead1 s v little is se5 & kn[n ( h]4 ,%e lives 9 ! ,:ite ,h\se--,brigham's fir/ resid5ce 9 ,salt ,lake ,city--& is mu* ?\ght ( by ^? :o d "k h]4 ,h] *ildr5 are greatly atta*$ to h]1 & %[ h] a great deal ( att5tion1 mak+ up 9 ?is way1 to a c]ta9 ext5t1 = h] husb&'s neglect2 h] ?ree sons1 ,joseph ,a4 ,brigham--:o x is expect$ w succe$ 8 fa!r z ,presid5t ( ! ,*ur*--& ,john ,w41 z well z h] two daught]s1 ,alice & ,luna1 are all 9 ,polygamy4 ,ea* ( ! sons has ?ree wives2 & ea* ( ! daught]s has a half-si/] z a p>tn] 9 h] husb&'s affections4 ,brigham has n ! slighte/ objection to giv+ two ( 8 daught]s to ! same husb&4 ,,lucy ,,deck] ,,seely ,,"y4 ,numb] ,two4 ,lucy ,deck] ,seely ,"y 0 8 fir/ wife 9 ,polygamy4 ,h] =m] husb& 0 a ,mr4 ,seely4 ,%e is %ort & /\t1 a v excell5t "m & a devot$ wife4 ,,cl>a ,,deck] ,,"y4 ,numb] ,?ree4 ,cl>a ,deck] ,"y is ! ?ird wife4 ,%e is a si/] ( ,lucy ,seely1 & l h] is %ort & /\t1 b o!rwise good-look+4 ,%e is m ?an tw5ty ye>s y\ng] ?an h] "l1 ) :om %e 0 once q a fav\rite1 b l _m o!rs1 %e has 8_h h] day0--to use ,brigham's own expression--& is n[1 z a matt] ( c\rse1 neglect$4 ,,h>riet ,,cook ,,"y4 ,numb] ,f\r4 ,h>riet ,cook ,"y is tall1 ) light hair & blue eyes1 & is an intellig5t b n at all a ref9$ woman4 ,%e is said to h giv5 a great deal ( tr\ble to ,bro!r ,brigham1 ( :om %e has frequ5tly said v h>d ?+s4 ,9 times pa/ %e _h ! reputation ( be+ a good deal m ?an a mat* = h] husb& :5 %e _h any cause ( (f5ce aga9/ him1 b 9 h] quiet mom5ts %e is a v s9c]e ,mormon4 ,%e has only "o son--,osc> ,"y--n[ ab\t tw5ty-five ye>s ( age4 ,:5 he 0 born1 ,brigham k9dly ann\nc$ to h] t because %e 0 n ob$i5t %e %\ld h no m *ildr51 & dur+ m ?an a qu>t] ( a c5tury he has kept 8 ^w4 ,:y %e has rema9$ ) him s long is a my/]y1 = %e makes no secret ( h] feel+s t[>ds him4 ,,lucy ,,bigel[ ,,"y4 ,numb] ,five4 ,lucy ,bigel[ ,"y is q a f9e-look+ woman--tall & fair1 & /ill q "y4 ,%e has ?ree pretty daught]s4 ,brigham has rec5tly s5t h] to live 9 s\!rn ,utah4 ,,mrs4 ,,twiss ,,"y4 ,numb] ,six4 ,mrs4 ,twiss ,"y has no *ildr51 b %e is a v good h\sewife1 & ,brigham appreciates h] accord+ly1 & has giv5 h] ! position ( h\sekeep] 9 ! ,lion ,h\se4 ,wom5 h two great privileges 9 ! ,mormon ,*ur*--!y may ask a man to m>ry !m1 if !y *ance to fancy him1 & if !y don't l him aft]w>ds !y are able to obta9 a divorce = ! mod]ate sum ( t5 doll>s1 :i* sum ! husb& is expect$ to pay4 ,mrs4 ,twiss ex]cis$ ! fir/ privilege 9 ref]5ce to ,bro!r ,brigham1 b has n yet avail$ h]self ( ! la/4 ,!re are o!r ladies :o ?\ght x w\ld be a great hon\r to be call$ ! wives ( ! ,prophet1 & !y h reque/$ him to all[ !m to be call$ by 8 "n4 ,?is he has done1 b he has nev] tr\bl$ !m ) 8 society4 ,,m>?a ,,b[k] ,,"y4 ,numb] ,sev54 ,m>?a ,b[k] ,"y is a quiet little body1 ) pi]c+ d>k eyes1 & v retir+4 ,bro!r ,brigham acts t[>ds h] z if he _h q =gott5 t he _h ev] m>ri$ h]1 & %e lives 9 all ! lonel9ess ( m>ri$ sp9/]hood4 ,,h>riet ,,b>ney ,,seag]s ,,"y4 ,numb] ,eight4 ,h>riet ,b>ney ,seag]s ,"y1 ! eigh? wife1 is a tall1 f9e-look+ woman4 ,%e 0 ano!r man's wife :5 ,brigham made love to h]4 ,x is n suppos$ to be ! correct ?+ = a ,sa9t to c\rt 8 neighb\r's wife1 b ! ,prophet did s 9 ! case ( ,h>riet ,b>ney1 & 9 sev]al o!r cases too4 ,h>riet 0 m>ri$ to a respectable "y ,mormon g5tleman1 b aft] %e _h liv$ ) him "s "t & _h borne ?ree *ildr5 to him1 ! ,prophet p]suad$ h] to jo9 8 ranks1 & %e did s1 believ+ t ! ^w ( ! ,prophet 0 ! revelation ( ! ,"l to h]1 b %e has s9ce _h bitt] cause to rep5t ( h] folly4 ,to a ,g5tile m9d su* an infatuation mu/ appe> v /range1 b ! ,mormon p p]sonally und]/& ! p[]ful influ5ce :i* _! religion ex]cises ov] !m1 & to !m !re is no?+ v s+ul> 9 all ?is4 ,,eliza ,,burgess ,,"y4 ,numb] ,n9e4 ,eliza ,burgess ,"y is ! only ,engli% wife t ,brigham has4 ,%e fell 9 love ) ! ,prophet1 want$ him to m>ry h]1 & ev5 (f]$ to wait1 l ,jacob1 = sev5 ye>s if %e might be 8 at la/4 ,s %e s]v$ 9 ! family ( h] "l = ! appo9t$ "t1 & he f9ally took h] to wife z a recomp5se = h] fai?fulness4 ,%e has add$ "o son to ! ,prophet's k+dom4 ,,susan ,,snively ,,"y4 ,numb] ,t54 ,! t5? wife on my li/ is ,susan ,snively ,"y4 ,%e is a ,g]man woman--sm>t1 active1 & indu/ri\s4 ,%e has no *ildr51 b has be5 q a help-meet to h] husb& 9 mak+ butt] & *eese1 9 :i* %e excels4 ,sm>t ,mormons h always _h an eye to bus9ess1 & :ile liv+ up to _! privileges h n inv>iably s\ght = wives :o 7 only fair & pleasant to look ^u1 b h frequ5tly tak5 !m = _! own intr9sic wor?3 "o z a good dairymaid1 ano!r z a good cook1 a ?ird z a good laundress1 & a f\r? z a lady to grace ! p>l\r--p]haps ev5 two or ?ree ( ?is la/ k9d1 if ! ,sa9t 7 weal?y4 ,!re is a good deal ( practical wisdom 9 ?is4 ,bro!r ,brigham has ga!r$ ( all sorts into 8 net1 & has !n sort$ !m out1 plac+ ea* lady 9 ! position :]e he consid]$ %e w\ld be mo/ useful & pr(itable to himself4 ,,m>g>et ,,pi]ce ,,"y4 ,numb] ,elev54 ,m>g>et ,pi]ce ,"y is v lady-l1 tall1 & g5teel4 ,%e has ! appe>ance ( be+ v unhappy1 & x is c]ta9 t %e has be5 v mu* neglect$1 b n m s ?an _m ( ! o!r wives4 ,%e has "o son4 ,,emmel9e ,,free ,,"y4 ,numb] ,twelve4 ,:5 fir/ ,i w5t to ,utah1 ,emmel9e ,free ,"y 0 ! reign+ fav\rite1 & %e 0 really ! h&some/ ( ,brigham's wives--tall & graceful1 ) curl+ hair1 beautiful eyes1 & fair complexion4 ,brigham 0 z fond ( h]1 at ! "t1 z a man ( 8 nature1 ) su* a l[ e/imate ( woman1 c\ld be4 ,b a y\ng]1 ?\gh n a h&som]1 rival soon captivat$ 8 fickle he>t1 & he left poor ,emmel9e to m\rn 9 sorr[4 ,%e has nev] be5 h]self s9ce !n1 & probably nev] w be--%e is a brok5-he>t$ woman4 ,%e is ! "m ( q a num]\s family1 & d\btless1 z %e _h be5 ! fav\rite = s long a "t1 %e _h come to believe t h] husb& w\ld nev] seek ano!r love4 ,b1 if ?is 0 s1 %e sadly miscalculat$ ,brigham1 = :5 8 lic5ti\s fancy 0 attract$ to ano!r object ( affection he ca/ (f ,emmel9e z ru?lessly z he w\ld an old g>m5t4 ,:at dec5t p]son c\ld refra9 f loa?+ su* a man6 ,h[ (t5 has my he>t gone out 9 sympa?y t[>ds t poor1 wreck$ woman :om he _h =sak52 :at a pity ,i deem$ x t s mu* love %\ld be wa/$ ^u a creature :o c\ld nev] und]/& or appreciate x4 ,& yet ,emmel9e's fate has be5 no worse ?an t ( ! o!rs2 b ,i 0 m ) h]1 & saw h[ ke5ly %e suff]$1 & ,i sympa?iz$ ) h] :5 h] sorr[s br\ght h] ne>ly to ! po9t ( dea?4 ,,amelia ,,folsom ,,"y4 ,numb] ,?irte54 ,amelia ,folsom ,"y is n[ ! fav\rite1 & x is suppos$ t %e w cont9ue to be s1 = at la/ poor ,bro!r ,brigham has f\nd a woman ( :om he /&s 9 dread4 ,x is d\btful :e!r he loves h]1 b nobody 9 ,zion d\bts t he fe>s h]4 ,x is said t ! ,prophet has confid$ s _m ( 8 secrets to ,amelia t he is oblig$ to submit to h] tyranny1 = fe> ( h] leav+ him1 & expos+ "s ( 8 little ways :i* w\ld n be> ! light4 ,be t z x may1 x is g5]ally believ$ t aft] all 8 matrimonial alliances he has at la/ f\nd 8 ma/] 9 ! p]son ( ,amelia4 ,ev5 good ,sa9ts--fri5ds ( ! ,prophet--secretly enjoy ! idea ( him be+ at la/ br\ght "u petticoat gov]nm5t1 = x is believ$ t ,brigham us$ unfair means to obta9 h]1 & t at la/ he only ga9$ 8 object by delud+ h] into ! belief t ! ,"l _h reveal$ to him t x 0 h] duty to become 8 wife4 ,"o ?+ is v c]ta9--he 0 z crazy ov] h] z a silly boy ov] 8 fir/ love1 mu* to ! disgu/ ( 8 m sob] bre?r51 :o felt r a%am$ ( ! folly ( _! lead]4 ,at ! !atre a seat 0 res]v$ = h] at 8 side1 & 9 ! ball-room ! same special att5tion 0 %[n to h]4 ,he w\ld op5 ! ball1 &1 aft] danc+ ) ea* ( 8 o!r wives :o might be pres5t--simply = appe>ance sake--! rema9d] ( ! ev5+ 0 devot$ to h]4 ,= all t1 8 incon/ant he>t c\ld n rema9 fai?ful to h]1 & old habits & feel+s1 to all appe>ance1 h come ov] him aga91 & he has gone a/ray4 ,julia ,dean1 ! actress1 0 ! fir/ to draw him f ,amelia's side1 & x w\ld h be5 a sorry day = ,amelia if ,julia _h fav\r$ ! ,prophet's suit4 ,!n ! *>ms ( ,m>y ,van ,cott t\*$ 8 s5sitive he>t1 to say no?+ ( ,eliza-,ann1 8 la/ b yet n 8 be/-belov$4 ,) all ?is exp]i5ce1 & ! con/ant evid5ces ( ! fickl5ess ( ,bro!r ,brigham's he>t be=e h] eyes1 !re is no wond] t poor ,amelia feels compell$ to hold tight ! re9s1 n[ t !y are 9 h] own h&s1 =1 if x is n mu* to be kn[n z ,brigham's wife1 x is a great deal to be kn[n z 8 fav\rite4 ,z = ! future1 x is :isp]$ t ,bro!r ,brigham has lately be5 8sett+ 8 h\se 9 ord]10 & 9 ! ord9>y c\rse ( nature1 ,amelia is almo/ c]ta9 to outlive = _m ye>s h] ag$ "l1 %e1 !re=e1 c af=d to wait = ! good "t com+4 ,b ,amelia kn[s t %e w\ld s9k into oblivion if he 7 to ca/ h] (f = ano!r be=e 8 dea?4 ,,m>y ,,van ,,cott ,,cobb ,,"y4 ,numb] ,f\rte54 ,m>y ,van ,cott ,cobb--:o became ,brigham's wife aft] 8 m>riage to ,amelia--is a v h&some woman1 ab\t tw5ty-eight ye>s ( age4 ,%e is tall1 sl5d]1 & graceful1 & has be5 m>ri$ to ! ,prophet ab\t six ye>s4 ,at fir/ he appe>$ to be v devot$ to h]1 b ,amelia soon put a /op to t4 ,nev]!less1 %e has s9ce h] m>riage pres5t$ a little daught] to h] "l1 greatly to ! annoyance ( ,amelia1 :o has no *ildr54 ,%e is said to be v unhappy1 & ?\gh ,brigham has provid$ h] ) a f9e h\se & e com=t1 yet %e seldom sees him--n p]haps m ?an once 9 ?ree mon?s1 or s--?\gh x is g5]ally believ$ t 8 _s is will+1 b ,amelia won't all[ x4 ,,eliza-,,ann ,,webb ,,dee ,,"y4 ,numb] ,fifte54 ,eliza-,ann ,webb ,dee ,"y1 commonly kn[n z 8 8runaway wife10 is 8 la/ w$d$ & n9ete5? liv+ wife4 ,if 8 deceas$ wives 7 tak5 into consid]ation %e w\ld probably be 8 ?irtie?4 ,9 ?is li/ ,i h put all ! liv+ wives :o are seal$ to ,brigham = et]nity fir/1 & ?us ,i c\nt ,eliza-,ann fifte51 b _h ,i plac$ ! proxy wives--:o are only ,brigham's 8= "t10 9 ! li/1 %e w\ld1 ( c\rse1 be ! 8n9ete5?10 z %e is g5]ally call$4 8,,miss0 ,,eliza ,r4 ,,sn[4 ,numb] ,sixte54 8,miss0 ,eliza ,r4 ,sn[ ,i m5tion "h z ,i h n foll[$ ! ord] ( date4 ,%e & ! ?ree ladies ^: names ,i %all pres5tly give1 are ! proxy wives ( ,brigham1 liv+ ) him4 ,,z9a ,d4 ,,hunt+ton ,,jacobs ,,"y4 ,numb] ,sev5te54 ,z9a ,d4 ,hunt+ton ,jacobs ,"y is ano!r proxy wife1 & a wid[ ( ! ,prophet ,joseph4 ,%e1 too1 w h to be h&$ ov] 9 ! day ( reckon+4 ,%e has "o gr[n up daught]1 ( :om ,i %all pres5tly speak "u r int]e/+ circum/ances4 ,,emily ,,p>tridge ,,"y4 ,numb] ,eighte54 ,emily ,p>tridge ,"y is a tall1 d>k-ey$1 h&some woman1 & %e also is a 8proxy0 wife--a relict ( ,joseph4 ,:5 ,joseph di$1 ,brigham told 8 wives t !y 7 at lib]ty to *oose :om !y w\ld = husb&s2 & "s ( !m %[$ _! appreciation ( 8 g5]osity by *oos+ him himself4 ,?us x 0 t ,emily ,p>tridge became ,brigham's wife4 ,! ,prophet has dealt k9dly to 8 bro!r ,joseph ,smi?1 ?r\gh h]1 = %e has q a family ( *ildr5 to be h&$ ov] ) h]4 ,%e 0 "y & h&some :5 ! ,prophet di$1 b p]haps x w\ld be wrong to suppose t t _h any?+ to d ) ,brigham's g5]osity to 8 bro!r1 = x is g5]ally believ$ t he took all ^? wives ( ,joseph1 f pure pr9ciple4 ,,augu/a ,,cobb ,,"y4 ,numb] ,n9ete54 ,augu/a ,cobb ,"y is a v f9e-look+ woman1 & mu/ h be5 q h&some 9 h] y\?ful days4 ,z ,i be=e /at$1 %e =m]ly liv$ 9 ,bo/on1 b he>+ ,brigham prea*1 %e fell 9 love ) him1 ab&on$ h] home1 *ildr51 & husb&1 &1 tak+ h] y\nge/ *ild ) h]1 w5t to ,salt ,lake ,city1 & 0 m>ri$ to ! ,prophet4 ,x 0 %e :o1 :5 ,brigham began to neglect h]1 want$ to be seal$ to ,*ri/1 b 0 ultimately add$ to ! k+dom ( ,joseph ,smi?4 ,n[ ^! are ! ,prophet's wives--8 real1 liv+ wives--n9ete5 9 all4 ,h[ _m spiritual wives he has _h x w\ld be impossible to say4 ,probably he himself does n "k _! numb]4 ,9 8 habits & mode ( liv+1 ,brigham ,"y is v simple1 or at lea/ 0 s until rec5tly4 ,:5 ,i fir/ knew him he dress$ 9 pla91 home-spun1 home-made1 & e article ab\t 8 p]son & 8 h\ses 0 z pla9 & uno/5tati\s z c\ld possibly be4 ,b ! importation ( ,g5tiles & ,g5tile goods1 s9ce ! op5+ ( ! railway1 has work$ a great *ange4 ,8 wives1 :o once c>ri$ simplicity ( dress almo/ to ! v]ge ( d[dyism1 h n[ acquir$ a ta/e = ,ea/]n fa%ions4 ,! ,prophet's fir/ home 9 ,utah 0 a little cottage :i* is n[ kn[n z ! ,:ite ,h\se4--,! same h\se1 ,i believe1 :i* 0 valu$ at sixty ?\s& doll>s1 & :i* ,bro!r ,t5ant suppos$ he b\ght3--a m sc&al\s & b>efac$ robb]y nev] 0 p]petrat$4 ,?is is on ! hill-side1 nor? ( ! ,eagle ,gate1 & is n[ ! resid5ce ( 8 fir/ wife1 ,mrs4 ,angell ,"y4 ,! ,bee-,hive ,h\se is ! (ficial resid5ce ( ,bro!r ,brigham4 ,!re he us$ to reign supreme z 8,gov]nor0 ,"y2 & !nce he n[ issues secul> & ecclesia/ical edicts to all :o ackn[l$ge 8 sway4 ,!re is "o lady resid5t 9 ?is h\se--,mrs4 ,lucy ,deck] ,"y--& no "o else is p]mitt$ to intrude ^u its privacy4 ,"h ! prophet has 8 own private b$room1 & "h he breakfa/s :5 he has be5 at home ov] night4 ,! ,lion ,h\se is :at ought to be ! home ( ! ,prophet1 = "h ne>ly all 8 wives reside4 7,he has1 h[ev]1 _m o!r h\ses 9 ! city47 ,on ! basem5t floor is ! d9+-room1 kit*51 pantry1 & o!r g5]al (fices4 ,! fir/ floor is divid$ by a long passage ) doors on ea* side4 ,on ! "r h&1 ab\t half-a-doz5 wives ) small families f9d accommodation4 ,on ! left1 at ! entrance1 is ! p>l\r1 & ! o!r rooms on t side are occupi$ by mo!rs ) l>g] families1 & ladies :o h a little m ?an ord9>y att5tion4 ,! upp] floor is divid$ into tw5ty squ>e b$rooms4 ,!re is no extravagance 9 ! furniture or app>el ( ^! wives1 b !y are com=table & are kept neat & clean4 ,aga9 & aga91 ! ,prophet has decl>$ t ! t5-doll> fees :i* are obta9$ f ! divorces provide 8 wives ) p9-money4 ,i d n believe a ^w ( ?is1 z ! am\nt ?us obta9$ is f> m ?an ! av>ici\s s\l ( ! ,prophet w\ld all[ to pass out ( 8 h&s = fem99e vanities4 ,b ,i "k ( ano!r s\rce ( income :i* is op5 to ! wives4 ,!y are all[$ all ! fruit--pea*es especially--:i* !y or _! *ildr51 c ga!r or dry4 ,?is1 9 fact1 is pretty ne>ly _! only 8p9-money0 _! 8"l0 is n a g5]\s man1 & !y h to make ! mo/ ( trifles4 ,! ,prophet usually d9es 9 ! ,lion ,h\se at ?ree 9 ! aft]noon4 ,mrs4 ,twiss ,"y1 z ,i m5tion$ be=e1 acts ! "p ( h\sekeep]1 & %e acts x well4 ,at ?ree punctually ! bell r+s1 & ! mo!rs ) _! *ildr5 move d[n to ! d9+-room4 ,!y are all seat$ at a v long table :i* is l5g!n$ by turn+ r\nd at ! end ( ! room4 ,ea* "m has h] *ildr5 ar\nd h]4 ,brigham sits at ! head ( ! table1 ) 8 fav\rite--:5 at home--vis vis1 or on 8 left1 & if a visitor is pres5t he sits at ! ,prophet's "r h&4 ,! repa/ is frugal b ample1 = ,brigham is a sob] & exce$+ly economical man4 ,?is is ! fir/ "t he sees 8 family4 ,9 ! ev5+ at sev5 o'clock ! bell aga9 r+s1 & ! mo!rs & ! *ildr5 aga9 fill ! sides & end ( ! p>l\r4 ,:5 !y are all seat$1 ! patri>* ent]s1 takes 8 seat at ! table & *ats quietly ) ^? :o *ance to g 9 ) him to pray]s4 ,:5 all ! memb]s ( ! family are assembl$1 ! door is clos$4 ,all kneel d[n & ! ,prophet prays1 invok+ special bless+s ^u ,zion & 8! k+dom40 ,?is is ! la/ t 8 family see ( him = ! day1 unless !y h occasion to seek him privately4 ,) 8 family ,bro!r ,brigham is said to be k9d2 b x is suppos$ to be m ! awe :i* 8 position z ,prophet inspires1 ?an ! love :i* !y be> him z a man :i* r5d]s him successful 9 manag+ !m4 ,at ! same "t1 t sweet famili>ity is de/roy$ :i* %\ld exi/ betwe5 husb& & wife1 fa!r & *ildr54 ,) su* a numb] ( wives1 he _c possibly wait ^u !m 9 visit+1 & 9 ! ball-room1 & o!r places ( amusem5t4 ,) ! exception ( 8 reign+ fav\rite1 :oev] = ! "t %e may happ5 to be1 no "o expects 8 att5tions4 ,at ! !atre a full numb] ( seats are res]v$1 & 8 wives att5d1 or rema9 at home1 z !y please4 ,!y sit 9 ! body ( ! p>quette1 among ! re/ ( ! p2 b "o ( ! two prosc5ium boxes is res]v$ = him1 & beside him is a *air = ! fav\rite ,amelia4 ,:5 he goes to ! ball1 ! same special att5tion is %[n4 ,he dances fir/ ) ! fav\rite1 &1 if half-a-doz5 m ( 8 wives h accompani$ !m1 he w dance ) ea* ( !m once 9 ! c\rse ( ! ev5+2 b ) ! fav\rite he dances z frequ5tly z any y\? 9 ! ball-room ) 8 fir/ maid5 love4 ,! ,apo/les & lead+ m5 ( ! community1 :o dance att5dance on him & desire 8 fav\r1 are sure to seek ! pleasure ( h] h& & place h] 9 ! same cotillion ) ,brigham1 :o is ?us able all ! ev5+ to enjoy h] company4 ,"s ( ! ,apo/les & ,eld]s look ) pa9 ^u ?is boyi%ness ( ! ,prophet1 & deplore x4 ,_m ( !m are atta*$ to _! fir/ wives1 & h %[n !m consid]ation & att5tion :i* has n always pleas$ ,bro!r ,brigham4 ,i h he>d m ?an "o ( !m1 express a wi% t ! ,prophet _h be5 a little m att5tive to 8 own fir/ wife4 ,,*apt] ,,xx4 ,,ways ,,& ,,works ,,( ,,! ,,sa9ts3--,,! ,,prophet',s ,,mill9]y ,,bill4 ,:5 ,i arriv$ 9 ,utah ,i f\nd t ne>ly all ! ,eld]s ) :om ,i _h =m]ly be5 acqua9t$ _h m ?an "o wife !re4 ,_m ( ^! bre?r5 call$ to see me1 & k9dly insi/$ t ,i %\ld visit _! families2 b ?is ,i felt 0 almo/ an impossibility4 ,my :ole nature rebell$ at ! ?\ght ( visit+ :]e !re 7 sev]al wives2 =1 9 defiance ( all ! tea*+ t ,i _h li/5$ to1 & ! tyranny to :i* we _h submitt$1 human nature w\ld ass]t itself1 & my womanly in/9cts revolt$ aga9/ ! sy/em4 ,i c\ld n endure ! ?\ght ( visit+ ^? families 9 company ) my husb&4 ,i ?\ght t p]haps sometimes ,i might v5ture alone2 b1 oh1 n ) him1--no1 n ) him4 ,x 0 bad en\gh & humiliat+ en\gh = me to witness by myself ! degradation ( my sex2 b to d s 9 ! pres5ce ( my husb& 0 m ?an ,i c\ld calmly contemplate4 ,i knew t ,i %\ld n be able to control myself1 & might probably say "s v unpleasant ?+s1 :i* ,i %\ld aft]w>ds regret2 = ,i s ?or\ghly loa!d ev5 ! idea ( polygamy at t "t t ,i 0 fill$ ) a desire to let e "o "k & und]/& j :at my feel+s 7 on t subject4 ,i _h left ,new ,york aga9/ my w1 al?\gh ,i _h n op5ly rebell$4 ,i _h nev] reproa*$ my husb& ab\t x1 = ,i felt t 8 lot 0 irrevocably ca/ ) ! ,mormons3 ,i knew t :5 ,i m>ri$ him1 & x 0 ( no use n[ = me to rep9e4 ,i mu/ g on to ! end--!re 0 no help = me4 ,! j\rney across ! ,pla9s1 & all ! discov]ies :i* ,i _h made1 _h n t5d$ to soo! my rebelli\s he>t1 & ,i am n q sure t ,i did n s[ by ! way a little discont5t among ! si/]s4 ,! idea1 h[ev]1 t su* 0 ! case did n1 ,i mu/ admit1 fill me ) mu* rep5tance4 ,to my husb& ,i _h said v little1 b ,i ?9k he w\ld be> me witness t :at ,i did say 0 said effectively4 ,n[ :5 ,i 0 br\ght face to face ) practical polygamy & c\ld obs]ve x 9 its mo/ repulsive phases1 ,i hat$ x m ?an ev]4 ,"o day n long aft] our arrival1 z we 7 tak+ a walk toge!r1 ,i saw across ! road a man ge/iculat+ aft] an ecc5tric fa%ion & beckon+ to u4 ,mr4 ,/5h\se said1 8,t is ,bro!r ,heb] ,c4 ,kimball20 & ,i look$ aga9 ) int]e/ to see :at t celebrat$ ,apo/le 0 l4 ,i _h bo? he>d & read a great deal ab\t ,bro!r ,heb]1 & :at ,i _h le>n$ 0 n at all ( a "* to impress me fav\rably--he _h be5 s sev]e 9 8 d5unciation ( e woman :o d>$ to oppose polygamy4 ,on ! pres5t occasion 8 conduct 01 ,i ?\ght1 any?+ b g5tlemanly2 & :5 we cross$ ! road to him1--:i* on acc\nt ( 8 position 9 ! ,*ur*--next to ,brigham himself--we1 ( c\rse1 7 compell$ to d1--my face mu/ h betray$ my feel+s ,i am sure1 = almo/ 8 fir/ words aft] %ak+ h&s 71 8,h y got ! blues80 ,my answ] 0 ready 9 a mom5t4 8,i h _h no?+ else ev] s9ce ,i came "h40 8,well10 he repli$1 8x is "t t y %\ld get rid ( !m1 & ,i am go+ to talk to y "s day soon1 = ,i r l y\r looks40 ,i did n l 8 looks mu*1 h[ev]1 nor 0 ,i at all pleas$ ) 8 mann]4 ,i d n say t ,i 0 altoge!r )\t blame 9 feel+ ?us1 = ,i 0 prejudic$4 ,( c\rse ,i 0 prejudic$4 ,f ! fir/ mom5t :5 ,i he>d t polygamy 0 a doctr9e ( ! ,*ur*1 ,i 0 pr$ispos$ to be dissatisfi$ ) ev]y?+3 ,i 0 h5ce=? n myself1 = ! t]rible appreh5sion ( my own fate 9 ! 8,cele/ial ,ord]0 _h *ang$ my :ole nature1 & t *ange ( itself 0 a great s\rce ( grief to me4 ,i ke5ly realiz$ t ,i 0 no long] ! light-he>t$1 pleasant companion to my husb& t ,i _h be51 & _m a "t & (t ,i wi%$ = 8 sake t ,i c\ld die1 = ,i felt t ,i nev] c\ld be happy 9 ,mormonism aga94 ,h[ _m times h ,i knelt by my husb&'s c\* :5 he 0 unconsci\s ( x1 & h wept bitt] te>s ( sorr[1 e>ne/ly pray+ to ! ,"l to subdue my rebelli\s he>t1 &1 if x 7 necess>y1 r ?an ,i %\ld be a cont9ual annoyance to my husb&1 :om ,i lov$ ) all my s\l1 t e p>ticle ( love 9 my he>t %\ld be )]$1 s t ,i might p]*ance1 if )\t love1 be able at lea/ to d my duty4 ,i fully realiz$ t 9 polygamy !re c\ld be no real love2 & :ile my affections 7 /ill plac$ ^u my husb&1 x 0 torture to live 9 a community :]e ,i 0 compell$ to li/5 to ! 8c\nsels0 :i* 7 giv5 to him1 day aft] day1 reg>dless ( my pres5ce1 to take ano!r wife4 ,i 0 too pr\d to notice any ord9>y allusion t 0 made to ! subject be=e me2 b :5 ! conv]sation 0 turn$ 9 t direction by ^? :o pr(ess$ to be s9c]e fri5ds & to ent]ta9 a k9dly int]e/ 9 my welf>e1 ,i 0 compell$ to li/5 & reply4 ,9 my unhappy condition1 ,i ?\ght t p]haps ,i might d]ive "s consolation f ! s]mons 9 ! ,tab]nacle--some?+ t might %$ a s(t] light ^u my rugg$ pa?way4 ,b in/ead ( obta9+ consolation1 ,i he>d t :i* ar\s$ e feel+ ( my s\l to rebellion1 & k9dl$ aga9 )9 me ! indignation :i* ,i _h be5 s long /ruggl+ to conqu]4 ,i he>d t woman 0 an inf]ior be+1 design$ by ! ,"l = ! special glory & exaltation ( man1 t %e 0 a creature t %\ld feel h]self hon\r$ if he w\ld only make h] ! "m ( 8 *ildr5--a creature :o if v ob$i5t & fai?ful ?r\gh all ! trials & tribulations 9 life1 might "s day be rew>d$ by becom+ "o ( h] husb&'s que5s1 b %\ld ev5 !n %9e only by virtue ( ! reflect$ light d]iv$ f ! glory ( h] sp\se & "l4 ,he 0 to be h] 8savi\r10 = he 0 all 9 all to h]2 & x 0 ?r\gh him alone & at 8 w t %e c\ld obta9 salvation4 ,we 7 in=m$ t man 0 ! cr[n+ glory ( creation1 = :om all ?+s--woman includ$--7 br\ght into be+2 & t ! *ief object ( woman's exi/5ce 0 to help man to 8 great de/9y4 ,n a s5t5ce--inde$1 n a ^w--did we ev] he> z to ! possibility ( womanly p]fection & exaltation 9 h] own "r2 & n only s1 b1 z if ?is 7 n en\gh to cru% all ambition out ( our s\ls1 we 7 in/ruct$ 9 "s new views ( m>riage4 ,! great object ( m>riage1 we 7 told1 0 ! increase ( *ildr54 ,^? div9] objects--! companion%ip ( s\l1 ! devotion ( a ref9$ & pure affection1 ! indissoluble union ( two exi/5ces--7 nev] pres5t$ to ! ye>n+ he>ts ( ^? poor wom5 :o li/5$ to ! mis]able h>angues ( ! ,tab]nacle3 su* aspirations _h no?+ to d ) ! h>d1 cruel facts ( _! life 9 polygamy4 ,& ?is ,i f\nd 0 h[ ! wom5 ( ,utah 7 spiritually su/a9$4 ,seldom1 inde$1 0 taught any?+ bett]1 b frequ5tly mu* t 0 worse4 ,if ,nature1 ass]t+ its "r to a full return ( love1 %\ld manife/ itself1 & inspire "s ( ^! poor wives to rebel aga9/ ! lives :i* !y 7 compell$ to lead 9 polygamy1 !n x w\ld be said1 9 ! language ( ! ,tab]nacle1 t ! wom5 7 8fill$ ) ! devil10 & t unless !y rep5t$ spe$ily1 !y w\ld 8apo/atize & g to hell20--an assurance :i* 0 sc>cely necess>y1 = _m ( ^? poor s\ls 7 endur+ z mu* z if !y 7 !re already4 ,or if "s woman 0 f\nd object+ to polygamy on acc\nt ( its cru%+ & degrad+ effects ^u wom5 g5]ally1 !n1 z ,i j said1 %e 0 told 9 ! co>se language ( ,brigham ,"y himself1 t 8su* wom5 _h no bus9ess to compla92 x 0 q en\gh hon\r = !m to be p]mitt$ to be> *ildr5 to ,god's holy ,prie/hood40 ,i f\nd1 !re=e2 t ! s]mons 9 ! ,tab]nacle 7 n calculat$ to help me mu* spiritually4 ,i _h nei!r fri5d nor c\nsellor on e>? to :om ,i c\ld turn = help--my ,god alone rema9$ to me4 ,b1 ah1 h[ diff]5t 7 my ideas ( ,god !n1 f ^? :i* ,i ent]ta9$ be=e & s9ce4 ,once ,i c\ld look ^u ! beauties ( nature & ! v>i$ exp]i5ces ( human life1 & :ile my s\l 0 lift$ up ) devotion & gratitude1 ,i c\ld see ! lov+ h& ( my ,heav5ly ,fa!r 9 ev]y?+ ar\nd me4 ,n[ !re 0 nei!r light nor beauty be=e my eyes--all 0 d>k & dre>y2 !re 0 no?+ to draw away my he>t f su* sad ?\ghts z ^!4 ,x 0 pa9fully cle> to my und]/&+1 !n z n[1 t 9 ,mormonism woman 0 to lose h] p]sonal id5tity4 ,all t ,*ri/ianity _h done to elevate h] 0 to be ru?lessly set aside & trampl$ "u foot1 & %e 0 in/antly to return to ! position :i* %e occupi$ 9 ! d>ke/ ages ( ! _w's exi/5ce4 ,i _h at t "t ! daily & h\rly c>es ( a family devolv+ ^u me1 & _h n !re=e mu* leisure to sp5d 9 visit+ my fri5ds ev5 if ,i _h desir$ to d s4 ,not)/&+ t1 h[ev]1 ,i _h abundant opportunities ( obs]vation2 & ?us my exp]i5ce ( ,mormonism & polygamy 9 ,utah is mu* ! same z t ( any ,mormon woman ( ord9>y s5se2 ,i only tell :at o!rs c\ld relate if !y _h ! incl9ation to d s4 ,x 0 n possible = me to live 9 ,salt ,lake ,city )\t be+ br\ght face to face ) polygamy 9 "s %ape or o!r e day ( my life4 ,_h x be5 o!rwise1 & if rema9+ at home w\ld h kept x f my view1 ,i probably nev] %\ld h _h ! c\rage to ent] a h\se :]e x 0 practis$4 ,to ^? :o "k no?+ ( t degrad+ sy/em ?is may seem r an exagg]ation ( feel+2 & yet1 ev5 at t e>ly day1 ,i _h se5 s mu* ( ! folly & weakness ( ! ,mormon bre?r51 bo? 9 ,london & ,new ,york1 be=e we w5t to ,utah1 & _h witness$ s _m evil results ( _! tea*+s1 t x 0 ) ! greate/ difficulty t ,i c\ld control my feel+s suffici5tly to call ^u any family :]e !re 0 m ?an "o wife4 ,& yet :at ,i knew !n 0 no?+ 9 comp>ison to :at ,i aft]w>ds witness$--yes1 t ,i myself endur$4 ,dur+ ! w9t]1 al?\gh ,i visit$ v little1 ,i att5d$ a good _m p>ties at ! ,social ,hall2 b ,i did s m f a wi% to be agreeable to my husb& ?an f any pleasure t !y af=d$ me1 = life _h long s9ce be5 los+ almo/ all its *>ms = me4 ,h[ _m times h ,i gaz$ wi/fully at ^? l(ty m\nta9s :i* surr\nd$ ! city1 & felt t !y 7 inde$ my prison walls4 ,h[ bitt]ly h ,i realiz$ t ,i %\ld nev] be able to g beyond !m4 ,b 9 a new c\ntry1 ) a family to provide =1 a "m has n mu* "t to wa/e 9 p9+1 ev5 if x be = lib]ty itself1 & ,i w\ld will+ly draw ! veil ov] t portion ( my life4 ,z my husb& _h be5 on mission = s _m ye>s & _h sp5t all 8 "t 9 ! s]vice ( ! ,*ur*1 ) ! exception ( a few brief mon?s be=e we left ,new ,york--:5 he 0 engag$ on ! /aff ( ! ,new ,york ,h]ald--,i naturally en\gh ?\ght t :5 we rea*$ ,zion 8 occupation w\ld be gone4 ,!re w\ld be no ne$ ( prea*+ to ! ,sa9ts3 on ! contr>y !y w\ld be able to tea* u2 & we %\ld h to f9d out :at we c\ld d 9 ?is new c\ntry to support ourselves & our *ildr54 ,9 ?is ,i 0 n mi/ak54 ,n[ among ! 8absolutely necess>y0 ?+s :i* ,i _h br\ght ) me f ,new ,york1 7 ab\t ?ree hundr$ doll>s' wor? ( mill9]y goods1 :i* ,i _h secret$ among our o!r prop]ties1 ?9k+ t !y w\ld v probably come 9 useful to ! fair daught]s ( ,zion--not)/&+ t ! ,eld]s _h told me ( fi]y s]mons1 deliv]$ by ! ,prophet himself1 condemn+ all fem99e display1 & t ! si/]s w\ld scorn to we> ,g5tile fa%ions4 ,i knew my own sex too well to believe t all ?is 0 /rictly true1 & ,i felt c]ta9 t ,i %\ld f9d1 ev5 among ! ,sa9ts1 "s weak si/]s :o w\ld appreciate my ?\ghtfulness 9 br++ su* articles = _! use4 ,i _h also notic$ t ! ,am]ican ,eld]s !mselves w\ld frequ5tly inquire :]e !y c\ld buy ! be/ gloves & ! prettie/ ribbons & laces1 & t look$ a little suspici\s4 ,q a numb] ( su* articles1 !re=e1 f\nd _! way into my li/ ( 8absolute necess>ies10 & ,i "k t my husb& 0 secretly q at a loss to "k :at _h become ( a c]ta9 sum ( money :i* he 0 aw>e ,i _h obta9$ f ! sale ( "s ( our ?+s 9 ,new ,york4 ,b my =esight 9 ?is in/ance 0 v useful to u :5 we arriv$ 9 ,zion4 ,"o day :5 ,mr4 ,/5h\se 0 abs5t seek+ employm5t1 ,i ?\ght ,i w\ld make a display ( my treasures & surprise him on 8 return4 ,accord+ly1 ) ! assi/ance ( our fai?ful dome/ic1 :om ,i _h br\ght ) me across ! ,pla9s1 & :o _h also liv$ ) me 9 ,switz]l&1 we contriv$ to place two or ?ree planks 9 su* a way z to make a r\gh table on :i* to display ! goods4 ,i _h be5 secretly at "w = ab\t two weeks1 trimm+ ! bonnets & hats1 & mak+ a numb] ( head-dresses1 su* z 7 worn 9 ,new ,york :5 we left2 &1 al?\gh we _h be5 ?ree mon?s on ! ,pla9s1 & q a mon? 9 ,utah1 yet ^? bonnets & head-dresses 7 ( ! v late/ /yle to ! ladies ( ,salt ,lake ,city4 ,my ,swiss girl 0 q a c>p5t]1 & :5 my tempor>y table 0 arrang$1 ,i plac$ a pretty-look+ clo? ov] x to hide its defects1 & !n began to arrange ! v>i\s articles4 ,i f\nd t ,i _h a mu* f9] assortm5t ?an ,i _h imag9$1 = ,i _h b\ght !m at diff]5t times1 & _h pack$ !m away hurri$ly1 le/ ,mr4 ,/5h\se or "s ( ! o!r ,eld]s--= !re 7 g5]ally "o or two 9 ! h\se--%\ld object to my tak+ !m4 ,:5 my table 0 fill$1 & ,i f\nd t ,i _h /ill m to display1 ,i 0 v mu* pleas$1 = ,i saw 9 my hats & bonnets1 fl\r1 meat1 & potatoes = my *ildr51 & ,i felt hopeful1 = "o ( ! si/]s _h assur$ me t ,i %\ld be c]ta9 to sell !m4 ,! next ?+ to d 0 to adv]tise my /ock4 ,aft] "s reflection1 ,i rememb]$ ano!r ( ! si/]s1 :o 0 q a good talk]1 & :o felt v k9dly t[>ds me4 ,i _h kn[n h] 9 ,engl&--%e _h be5 9 ,utah ab\t ?ree ye>s1 & h] husb& _h by t "t be5 bless$ ) two o!r wives4 ,%e us$ to say t %e _h no pati5ce ) a set ( grumbl+ wom51 :o did n "k :at 0 good = !m4 ,i d n ?9k t ! bless$ness enjoy$ by h] husb& 0 %>$ by ! two wives1 = m =lorn-look+ wom5 ,i nev] saw4 ,my husb&1 h[ev]1 told me t ?is 0 none ( my bus9ess1 & ,i believ$ him1 ( c\rse1 aft] ! fa%ion ( all good wives4 ,b to return4 ,?is good si/]1 besides be+ an excell5t talk]1 _h really no?+ else to d except visit+ h] neighb\rs1 = ! o!r wives n[ took entire *>ge ( all ! h\sehold duties4 ,s ,i made h] a pres5t ( a new bonnet1 z ,i knew t !n 9 two days my goods w\ld be q suffici5tly adv]tis$2 & 9 ?is ,i 0 n mi/ak54 ,almo/ ! fir/ visitors :o call$ to see me 7 a lady & h] daught]4 ,i talk$ freely to h] & answ]$ h] inquiries1 & %e told me t %e h]self _h _h "s exp]i5ce 9 ! bus9ess4 8,9 ,salt ,lake ,city10 %e said1 8,i ?9k y w n be able to sell ^? goods2 !y are too fa%ionable = ! p "h1 & !re is no enc\ragem5t giv5 to any "o 9 ?is bus9ess4 ,i am afraid y w be disappo9t$40 ,i believ$ e ^w %e said1 & felt all my airy1 hopeful ca/les beg9 to crumble away4 ,be=e %e left1 h[ev]1 %e v k9dly (f]$ to pur*ase all my goods at a l[ figure & ?us relieve me ( ! anxiety & tr\ble ( sell+ !m4 ,b ,i _h _h a little exp]i5ce 9 ! _w1--al?\gh probably ,i appe>$ to h] some:at innoc5t1--& ,i ?\ght t if %e c\ld sell !m1 !re 0 a *ance at lea/ t ,i also might be able to d s4 ,at any rate1 ,i resolv$ to try1 & ,i told h] s1 :5 %e left me ) _m k9d wi%es = my success4 ,b :at %e _h said dur+ h] visit _h *ill$ my en?usiasm1 & ,i pictur$ all my pretty newly-made articles becom+ soil$ & fad$1 ) no "o to buy !m2 :ile ! little ones1 b>efoot$--l s _m *ildr5 9 ,utah !n--7 runn+ ab\t cry+ = bread :i* ,i c\ld n buy !m4 ,i felt sad1 &1 if ,i mu/ confess x1 ,i sat d[n & _h a good cry4 ,j at t mom5t ,i he>d a knock at ! door1 & ha/ily dry+ my eyes1 ,i op5$ x1 & !re /ood my talkative fri5d4 8,/op cry+60 %e exclaim$4 8,:at is ! matt]1 my de>8 ,oh d /op cry+4 ,i don't l cry+ wom53 we see s _m ( !m among ! ,sa9ts ( ,god t x is really a %ame & a disgrace4 ,tell me :at is ! matt]8 ,has y\r husb& got ano!r wife8 or are y afraid he won't be able to get "o8 ,come1 tell me60 ,all ?is 0 utt]$ 9 a brea?1 & )\t ! possibility ( my putt+ 9 a ^w by way ( reply or remon/rance4 ,at la/ ,i told h] t ,i _h j _h a visit f "o ( ! si/]s & h] daught]1 :om ,i describ$4 8,i "k10 %e said2 8,i met h] z ,i 0 com+ "h4 ,d y "k :o %e is80 8,no10 ,i repli$1 8,i d n ?9k %e told me h] "n2 %e simply came to look at ! goods40 8,& did %e tell y t !y w\ld sell well1 & t !y are ! be/ inve/m5t t y c\ld h made80 8,q ! contr>y10 ,i said1 8%e disc\rag$ me s mu* t ,i c\ld n help %$d+ te>s40 8,well n[10 %e answ]$1 8t 0 ,mrs4 ,c----1 "o ( our mill9]s "h2 & y suppose %e 0 go+ to enc\rage y to set up an opposition %op1 d y8 ,if y d1 :y1 y've got some?+ yet to le>n40 ,inde$ ,i felt t ,i _h got a great deal to le>n4 8,n[ ,i h come to tell y q a diff]5t /ory10 %e said4 8,?is v aft]noon y w h at lea/ a doz5 ladies "h2 & ladies1 too1 :o h got ! money to pay = :at !y h1 & :o won't pay y 9 salt *ips & :et/ones40 8,d !y ev] pay 9 su* ?+s80 ,i inquir$4 8,:y c]ta9ly !y d4 ,t is ! k9d ( pay t ! good ,sa9ts g5]ally expect _! poor bre?r5 & si/]s to be satisfi$ )1 & to fe$ _! hungry *ildr5 ^u4 ,b ,i say t ?is is wrong4 ,n t ,i want to set myself up z a judge 9 ,zion1 or t ,i %\ld criticize ! actions ( ! bre?r51 ,god =bid6 ,b :5 ,i see ! ri* bre?r5 gr9d+ ! faces ( ! poor 9 t way1 :y1 ,i say t x is wrong4 ,b y mu/ n take any su* pay z t4 ,y may n always get money1 b y c at lea/ get fl\r1 potatoes1 & molasses4 ,n[1 ,i tell y t y are go+ to sell e article t y h got1 & ,i %all take pleasure 9 recomm5d+ y & talk+ ab\t x4 ,:y1 ,i've be5 to ab\t two score p already2 b1 !re6 ,i see y\r husb& com+1 & ,i mu/ g60 ,my husb&1 inde$1 0 !re4 ,he 0 n v fond ( my talkative fri5d1 & pass$ h] by ) a polite salutation only2 b :5 he saw :at ,i _h be5 do+1 ! light dawn$ ^u 8 m9d1 he no long] wond]$ :at _h become ( ! doll>s 9 ,new ,york1 &1 a/oni%$ at my success1 he congratulat$ me ^u ! good use to :i* ,i _h put !m4 ,aft] ?is int]view ,i felt q enc\rag$1 & ,i v soon f\nd t my fri5d's pr$ictions 7 correct4 ,i _h no difficulty 9 sell+1 & ,i creat$ q a little bus9ess1 al?\gh we liv$ a consid]able di/ance f ,ma9 ,/reet4 ,& :at ) my ef=ts1 & "s employm5t :i* my husb& obta9$1 we contriv$ to get ?r\gh our fir/ w9t] 9 ,salt ,lake ,city4 ,b ,i anticipate4 ,"o day my husb& in=m$ me t !re 0 a h\se ab\t to be vacat$ %ortly1 & t ,brigham ,"y _h told him we _h bett] take x4 ,x 0 pleasantly situat$ ne> ! ,tab]nacle1 &1 z h\ses !n 71 x 0 q a desirable resid5ce4 ,we _h x ?or\ghly clean$1 & !n mov$ 94 ,:5 ,i arriv$ 9 ! ev5+ ,i f\nd t ,mr4 ,/5h\se1 ) ! assi/ance ( our fai?ful ,swiss girl1 _h arrang$ ev]y?+ z ! goods arriv$ f ! o!r h\se2 & ! place look$ s clean1 & !re 0 su* a bright fire burn+ t ,i felt t we n[ _h really some?+ l a home1 & my he>t 0 fill$ ) gratitude4 ,soon aft] our e/abli%m5t 9 our new home1 ,brigham s5t = me & ask$ me to make a h&some bonnet = 8 !n fav\rite wife ,emmel9e4 ,he left x entirely to my ta/e2 ,i 0 to make j :at ,i pleas$1 s t x suit$ h] & gave satisfaction4 ,i made my bonnet2 & :5 ,i pres5t$ x1 ,brigham ,"y 0 s pleas$ t he imm$iately gave me an ord] to make "o = ea* ( 8 wives4 ,i 0 v mu* pleas$ at ?is1 = we ne$$ furniture & _m o!r necess>ies v badly1 & ,i ?\ght t ?is w\ld enable me to get !m4 ,i expect$1 ( c\rse1 t my acc\nt w\ld be paid 9 money1 = ,i did n suppose t ! ,prophet ( ! ,"l w\ld (f] me *ips or :et/ones3 he c\ld af=d to pay ca%1 &1 ( c\rse1 w\ld d s4 ,he _h furni%$ me ) "s mat]ial out ( 8 own /ore--= ,brigham ,"y _h a dry-goods & groc]y /ore ( 8 own at t "t--& ,i 0 to furni% ! rema9d]4 ,x 0 v little inde$ t he suppli$1 & !re=e my acc\nt 0 likely to am\nt to a consid]able sum1 = almo/ e wife _h at lea/ "o bonnet :i* %e wi%$ made ov] ) new trimm+s1 besides ! new "o4 ,i work$ con/antly = ?ree weeks1 ) ! assi/ance ( two girls1 to ea* ( :om ,i paid six doll>s a week besides bo>d4 ,?is 0 a difficult ?+ = me to d at t "t 9 ,utah1 = money 0 seldom se5 !re !n2 b ,i 0 rejoic+ 9 ! prospect ( ! com=table new furniture :i* ,i %\ld h :5 x 0 all done4 ,furniture at t "t 0 v exp5sive2 !re 0 no?+ bett] ?an :ite p9e articles1 /a9$ or pa9t$4 ,! commone/ k9d ( wood5 rock+-*air co/ fifte5 doll>s1 & common pa9t$ wood5 *airs 7 six doll>s a piece1 ) ev]y?+ else 9 proportion4 ,?is be+ our fir/ w9t]1 we _h n be5 able to get mu*1 & ,i ?\ght ,i w\ld devote ! proce$s ( ! "w ,i 0 do+ = ,brigham to fitt+ up ! h\se a little2 &1 ) :at ,i e>n$ f my o!r cu/om]s1 ,i contriv$ to pay my help1 s z to h all ! re/ cle>4 ,all 0 complet$1 & great satisfaction express$ at ! result ( my lab\rs4 ,s ,i ask$ my husb& to pres5t my acc\nt &1 if possible1 get x settl$2 x am\nt$ to ab\t #bge doll>s1 al?\gh ,i _h dealt v lib]ally ) ! ,prophet1 & _h *>g$ = ! goods b little m ?an !y co/ me4 ,:5 he return$1 ,i ha/5$ to meet him1 = ,i _h p>tly select$ ! furniture & ,i want$ to g & pur*ase x4 ,b ,i 0 l poor ,p]rette1 ! milkmaid1 :o c\nt$ h] *ick5s a little too soon2 = ,mr4 ,/5h\se told me t ,bro!r ,brigham _h giv5 ord]s t ! am\nt %\ld be cr$it$ to u = ti?+6 ,:at a %ock ?is 0 to me2 = t sum1 small z x may appe>1 0 my :ole =tune at ! "t1 & x 0 gone at "o sweep6 8,c x be possible10 ,i said1 8t he c be s mean z t8 ,:]e c 8 consci5ce be8 or has he any2 to deprive me ( my h>d e>n+s 9 ?is way8 ,he %all n d x--,i w make him pay me40 ,my indignation 0 s great t ,i did n reflect h[ imprud5t ,i 0 to talk ?us ( ! ,prophet ( ! ,"l2 b my husb& said1 8,:at c y d8 ,y _c help y\rself4 ,y c d no?+ b submit4 ,let u try to =get x2 or1 if n1 x w p]haps be a lesson to u40 ,b ,i did n =get x & nev] c\ld1 al?\gh ,i tri$ v h>d2 & :5 _m mon?s _h pass$1 & ,i no long] suff]$ f ! effects ( my loss1 ,i /ill rememb]$ x1 & ,i always %all rememb] ! way 9 :i* ,brigham paid = 8 wives' bonnets4 ,illu/ration3 ,,orson ,,hyde1 ,late ,presid5t ( ! ,twelve ,apo/les4 ,born ,janu>y1 #ahje4 ,illu/ration3 ,,george ,q4 ,,cannon1 ,utah ,delegate to ,congress4 ,born 9 ,liv]pool1 ,engl&1 #ahbg4 ,,*apt] ,,xxi4 ,,my/]ies ,,( ,,! ,,end[m5t ,,h\se--,,fe>ful ,,oa?s ,,& ,,secret ,,c]emonies4 ,n _m weeks aft] our arrival 9 ,salt ,lake ,city1 my husb& told me t we might n[ enjoy ! privilege ( go+ ?r\gh ! ,end[m5t ,h\se4 ,?is 0 int5d$ z a great fav\r to u1 on ! "p ( ! au?orities1 = mo/ p h to wait a long :ile be=e receiv+ _! ,end[m5ts2 b my husb&'s influ5ce & position 9 ! ,*ur* 01 ,i presume1 ! reason :y we 7 admitt$ s soon4 ,n[1 ,i _h he>d s mu* ( ! ,end[m5ts & ! ,end[m5t ,h\se t ,i q dread$ to pass ?r\gh ?is ordeal4 ,! idea ( ! :ole c]emony 01 t !reby we %\ld receive ! special grace ( ,god2 be unit$1 man & woman1 mak+ "o p]fect creature2 receive our inh]itance z *ildr5 ( ,god2 &1 9 fact1 be made p>tak]s ( ! pl5itude ( e bless+4 ,i knew well t no m>riage 0 consid]$ b9d+ unless x _h be5 celebrat$ 9 t place4 ,i knew t ! ,sa9ts1 h[ev] long !y might h be5 w$d$1 7 "u ! necessity ( be+ reunit$ !re be=e !y c\ld be consid]$ lawfully m>ri$ & _! *ildr5 legitimate4 ,accord+ to ! highe/ ,mormon au?ority1 no m>riage is valid unless ! c]emony is p]=m$ 9 ! ,temple4 ,! ,temple is n yet built1 & z ,joseph1 ! ,prophet1 said1 8,no fell[ c be damn$ = do+ ! be/ he kn[s h[10 ! ,sa9ts1 mean:ile1 d 8! next be/ ?+10 & are m>ri$ 9 ! ,end[m5t ,h\se4 ,i knew t !re & !n ! fai?ful 7 said to be 8end[$0 ) _! heav5ly inh]itance4 ,i saw h[ absolutely ne$ful x 0 t my husb& & myself %\ld become p>tak]s ( ^? my/]ies2 b ,i 0 influ5c$ by ! /range /ories :i* ,i _h he>d ( unhall[$ & %ameful do+s 9 t same ,end[m5t ,h\se1 & consequ5tly ,i fe>$ to ent] 94 ,my fe>s 7 n1 h[ev]1 altoge!r gr\ndless or vision>y4 ,x has be5 :isp]$--falsely p]haps--t 9 t ,end[m5t ,h\se sc5es h be5 enact$ s fe>ful t words w\ld falt] on ! lips ( ^? :o told ! tale conc]n+ !m4 ,i h he>d ( su* ?+s f m5 ( integrity & hon\r2 b !y 7 n eye-witnesses ( :at !y relat$1 & !y c\ld n1 or w\ld n1 give me _! au?orities4 ,"o ?+ ,i am c]ta9 (2 if su* horrible de$s 7 ev] p]petrat$ )9 ^? walls1 !re rema9s no liv+ witness to te/ify ( !m4 ,! lips ( ^? :o alone c\ld tell ! :ole tru? are seal$ 9 a sil5ce :i* ! trump ( doom alone %all break4 ,x 01 ( c\rse1 no fe> ( any p]sonal viol5ce or any pa9ful disclosures 9 t respect1 t made me reluctant to receive my ,end[m5ts1 = at t "t ,i 0 by pr(ession app>5tly a good ,mormon2 if ,i _h my d\bts & misgiv+s1 ,i _h !m 9 common ) n9e-t5?s ( ! ,mormon wom51 & _h !re=e no?+ to fe>4 ,! true cause ( my reluctance 0 ( a m delicate & p]sonal nature4 ,i _h be5 in=m$ t1 if ,i refus$ to g1 my husb& c\ld n g alone2 he w\ld be compell$ to take ano!r wife1 & g ) h]4 ,?is 0 n all4 ,i f\nd t x 0 q common = ! ,eld]s to take a second wife :5 !y took _! fir/ ,end[m5ts1 & ?us1 z !y co>sely express$ x1 8kill two birds ) "o /one40 ,moreov]1 ,i _h he>d ( m5 :o fe>$ to introduce ,polygamy into _! h\seholds1 pres5t+ to _! wives1 :ile go+ ?r\gh ! ,h\se1 a "y girl z _! int5d$ bride1 feel+ sure t ! wife w\ld n d>e to make a sc5e be=e ! ,assembly4 ,h[ c\ld ,i "k t my husb& also _h n su* an idea 9 8 m9d8 ,true1 ,i tru/$ him implicitly1 & did n believe x possible t he c\ld deceive me4 ,b _h n m5 :o 7 univ]sally kn[n = _! integrity & hon\r act$ 9 ! same way to _! wives2 & ) s _m evid5ces ( ! be/ & mo/ hone/ natures be+ corrupt$ by ! unrighte\s tea*+s ( _! religion1 c\ld ,i be blam$ = d\bt+ him :om ,i lov$ be/8 ,!re 0 also ano!r reason :y ,i p>ticul>ly object$ to pass+ ?r\gh ! ,end[m5t ,h\se4 ,i _h be5 told _m /range & revolt+ /ories ab\t ! c]emonies :i* 7 !re p]=m$1 = x 0 said t 9 ! ,nauvoo ,temple ! mo/ disgraceful ?+s 7 done4 ,ab\t :at 0 done at ,nauvoo ,i c say no?+1 z x 0 be=e my "t1 b /ill x is only fair to say1 t p :o 9 e o!r relation 9 life ,i %\ld h deem$ mo/ reliable & tru/wor?y 7 my in=mants respect+ ^? /range /ories4 ,( ! ,end[m5ts 9 ,utah ,i c1 ( c\rse1 speak m positively1 z ,i myself pass$ ?r\gh !m2 & ,i wi% to say mo/ di/9ctly t1 al?\gh ! initiation ( ! ,sa9ts into 8,! ,k+dom10 appe>s n[ to my m9d z a piece ( ! mo/ ridicul\s absurdity1 !re 01 nev]!less1 no?+ 9 x indec5t or immoral--( :i* ! read] himself %all pres5tly be ! judge4 ,x is an inv>iable rule among ! ,mormons1 z ,i h be=e intimat$1 = e man or woman to m9d 8 or h] own bus9ess1 & no?+ else4 ,?us x 01 t until ,i myself w5t ?r\gh ! ,end[m5ts1 ,i 0 totally ignorant ( :at !y 72 al?\gh1 ( c\rse1 _m p1 ) :om ,i _h daily int]c\rse c\ld easily h enlight5$ me if !y _h be5 ?us m9d$4 ,besides ?is1 e ,mormon's m\? 0 clos$ by ! oa? ( t same ,end[m5t ,h\se--! p5alty ( :i* 0 dea?1 a p5alty :i* no "o d\bt$ w\ld be /]nly en=c$4 ,?us1 totally 9 ! d>k1 & rememb]+ only ! /range /ories told ab\t 8wa%+s0 & 8ano9t+s10 & an imitation ( ! ,g>d5 ( ,ed51 ) ,adam & ,eve clo!d 9 _! own innoc5ce alone1 x c be no wond] t any mode/ woman %\ld wi% to evade all p>ticipation 9 su* sc5es4 ,i spoke to my husb& ab\t x1 & he tri$ to reassure me1 b :at he said _h r a contr>y effect4 ,be=e we left ,engl&1 :5 speak+ ( ^! c]emonies1 my husb& told me t !y 7 simply a privilege & a matt] ( *oice4 ,b :at a *oice6 ,i might g or refuse to g2 b1 if ,i refus$1 he mu/--if he w5t ?r\gh x all--take ano!r wife 9 my place1 &1 z ,i knew1 !re w\ld be no difficulty 9 f9d+ "o4 ,i %\ld 9 consequ5ce be kn[n z a rebelli\s woman2 annoyance & indignity w\ld be heap$ ^u me2 :ile )9 my own home ,i %\ld be compell$ to occupy ! position ( second wife--z ! "o :o is m>ri$ fir/ 9 ! ,end[m5t ,h\se is consid]$ ! fir/ wife1 & has ! control ( ev]y?+4 ,my husb& told me t n[ he 0 mo/ anxi\s to g2 he _h already be5 notifi$ ?ree times t su* 0 8 privilege1 & !re 71 he said1 good reasons :y we ought gladly to accept ! opportunity4 ,x 0 an hon\r1 he said1 = :i* _m p _h wait$ = ye>s4 ,my husb& rem9d$ me t we _h be5 m>ri$ by a ,g5tile1 & :ile liv+ among ,g5tiles1 & t1 z ,i said be=e1 our m>riage 0 n valid1 & our *ildr5 7 n legitimate4 ,only ^? *ildr5 ( ours :o 7 born aft] ! c]emony 9 ! ,end[m5t ,h\se w\ld be legitimate2 ! o!rs 7 outca/s f ! 8,k+dom0 unless we adopt$ !m aft] our initiation1 & ?us made !m heirs4 ,9 any case1 poor *ildr51 !y c\ld nev] be consid]$ ! real heirs2 !y c\ld only be 8heirs by adoption40 ,s ,i agre$ to g1 try+ to p]suade myself t x 0 a sacr$ duty2 =1 al?\gh my fai? 9 ,mormonism _h be5 r\ghly %ak51 ,i /ill believ$ t its orig9 0 div9e4 ,! ,temple robe1 :i* is a long1 loose1 fl[+ g>m5t1 made ( :ite l95 or blea*$ musl91 & rea*+ to ! ankle1 _h be5 plac$ ^u u j be=e we took ! oa?s4 ,x 0 ga!r$ to a b& ab\t twelve in*es long1 :i* re/$ on ! "r %\ld]1 pass$ across ! brea/1 & came toge!r "u ! left arm1 & 0 !n fa/5$ by a l95 belt4 ,?is leaves ! left arm entirely free4 ,! veil consi/s ( a l>ge squ>e ( ,swiss musl91 ga!r$ 9 "o corn] s z to =m a sort ( cap to fit ! head2 ! rema9d] falls d[n z a veil4 ,! m5 we> ! same k9d ( "u g>m5t z ! wom51 & _! robes are ! same1 b _! head-dress is a r\nd piece ( l95 drawn up ) a /r+ & a b[ 9 front1 some?+ aft] ! fa%ion ( a ,scot* cap4 ,all good ,mormons1 aft] !y h receiv$ _! fir/ ,end[m5ts1 get :ole suits ( ,temple robes made on purpose = !m1 s t !y may be ready = use at any "t :5 !y are ne$$4 ,all m>riages 9 ! ,end[m5t ,h\se are p]=m$ 9 ^! robes1 & 9 !m all ,sa9ts :o h receiv$ _! ,end[m5ts are buri$4 ,besides our robes we 7 in/ruct$ to take ) u a bottle ( ! be/ olive oil4 ,at sev5 o'clock 9 ! morn+ ( ! day appo9t$1 we pres5t$ ourselves at ! door ( ! ,end[m5t ,h\se1 & 7 admitt$ by ,bro!r ,lyon1 ! ,mormon poet4 ,ev]y?+ )9 0 beautifully neat & clean1 & a solemn sil5ce p]vad$ ! :ole place4 ,! only s\nd t c\ld be he>d 0 ! spla%+ ( wat]1 b :5ce ! s\nd proce$$ we c\ld n see4 ,9 spite ( myself1 a feel+ ( dread & unc]ta9ty respect+ :at ,i _h to g ?r\gh w\ld /eal ov] my m9d1 & ,i e>ne/ly wi%$ t ! day 0 ov]4 ,we wait$ pati5tly = a little :ile1 & pres5tly a man ent]$ & seat$ himself at a table plac$ !re = t purpose1 ^u :i* 0 a l>ge book4 ,he op5$ ! book1 & !n call+ ea* p]son 9 turn1 he took _! names & ages1 & ! names ( _! fa!rs & mo!rs1 & c>efully ent]$ ea* p>ticul> 9 ! book4 ,our bottles ( oil 7 !n tak5 f u1 & we 7 suppos$ to be ready = ! c]emony4 ,fir/ we 7 told to take (f our %oes1 & leave !m 9 ! ant]oom1 & !n to take up our bundles & pass into ano!r room beyond4 ,?is 0 a l>ge ba?-room1 :i* 0 divid$ d[n ! middle by a curta9 ( heavy mat]ial plac$ !re = ! purpose ( sep>at+ ! m5 f ! wom54 ,"h my husb& left me--he go+ to ! m5's & ,i to ! wom5's division4 ,9 ! ba?-room 7 two or ?ree l>ge ba?+-tubs suppli$ by /reams ( hot & cold wat]4 ,we 7 z mu* conceal$ f ! m5 z if we _h be5 9 an entirely sep>ate room1 & ev]y?+ 0 v quiet & ord]ly4 ,miss ,eliza ,r4 ,sn[1 ! poetess1 & a ,mrs4 ,:itney1 7 ! (ficiat+ att5dants on t occasion4 ,! =m] conduct$ me to "o ( ! ba?+-tubs1 & plac+ me 9 x1 %e proce$$ to wa% me f ! cr[n ( my head to ! soles ( my feet4 ,z %e did ?is %e repeat$ v>i\s =mulas to ! effect t ,i 0 n[ wa%$ clean f ! blood ( ?is g5]ation & %\ld nev]1 if ,i rema9$ fai?ful1 be p>tak] 9 ! plagues & mis]ies :i* 7 ab\t to come ^u ! e>?4 ,:5 ,i _h ?us be5 wa%$ clean1 %e wip$ me dry1 & !n tak+ a l>ge horn fill$ ) ! olive oil :i* we _h br\ght1 %e ano9t$ me4 ,! oil 0 p\r$ f ! horn by ,mrs4 ,:itney into ! h& ( ,eliza ,sn[1 :o !n appli$ x to me4 ,! horn 0 said to be ! horn ( pl5ty :i*1 l ! wid['s cruse ( oil1 w\ld nev] fail z long z ! ord9ance %\ld cont9ue to be adm9i/]$4 ,9 addition to ! cr[n ( my head1 my eyes1 e>s1 & m\? 7 also ano9t$2 my eyes t !y might be quick to see1 my e>s t !y might be apt at he>+1 & my m\? t ,i might ) wisdom speak ! words ( et]nal life4 ,%e also ano9t$ my feet1 t !y might be swift to run 9 ! ways ( ! ,"l4 ,i 0 !n giv5 a c]ta9 g>m5t to put on4 ,n[ ?is g>m5t is "o peculi> to ! ,mormon p4 ,x is made s z to envelope ! :ole body1 & x is worn night & day4 ,i 0 told t aft] hav+ once put x on1 ,i mu/ nev] :olly take x (f be=e putt+ on ano!r1 b t ,i %\ld *ange "o half at a "t1 & t if ,i did s ,i %\ld be protect$ f disease1 & ev5 f dea? itself2 = ! bullet ( an enemy w\ld n p5etrate t g>m5t1 & t f x ev5 ! dagg]'s po9t %\ld be turn$ aside4 ,x has be5 said t ! ,prophet ,joseph c>elessly left (f ?is peculi> g>m5t on ! day ( 8 dea?1 & t1 _h he n done s1 ! rifles ( 8 assass9s w\ld h be5 h>mless aga9/ him4 ,:5 ?us array$1 ,i proce$$ to put on a :ite nightdress & skirt1 /ock+s1 & :ite l95 %oes4 ,a new "n 0 !n :isp]$ into my e>1 :i* ,i 0 told ,i mu/ nev] m5tion to any liv+ s\l except my husb& 9 ! ,end[m5t ,h\se4 ,?is "n 0 tak5 f ! ,bible1 & ,i 0 giv5 to und]/& t x w\ld be ! "n :]eby ,i %\ld be admitt$ into ! cele/ial k+dom4 ,?is 0 ( c\rse v gratify+4 ,a circum/ance1 h[ev]1 occurr$ :i* took f me all ! pride :i* might h be5 m9e 9 ! possession ( a new "n4 ,!re 0 among our numb] a deaf woman2 ,mrs4 ,:itney _h to tell h] h] "n once or twice ov]1 l\d en\gh = me to he>1 & ?us ,i f\nd t h] new "n1 z well z m9e1 0 ,s>ah4 ,to make ! matt] worse1 ano!r si/] :isp]$1 8,:y1 t is my "n too40 ,?is entirely dispell$ any en?usiasm :i* o!rwise ,i might h felt4 ,i c\ld well und]/& t ,i might yet become a ,s>ah 9 ,israel1 b if we all 7 ,s>ahs1 !re w\ld n be mu* di/9ction or hon\r 9 be+ call$ by t "n4 ,z a matt] ( c\rse ,i suppos$ t ! m5 w\ld all become ,abrahams4 ,our wa%+ & ano9t+ be+ n[ ov]1 we 7 ready = ! initiation--!re 7 ab\t fifte5 c\ples 9 all4 ,a voice f beh9d ! curta9 ask$ ,miss ,sn[ if we 7 ready1 & 0 answ]$ 9 ! affirmative4 ,we 7 !n arrang$ 9 a r[1 ! curta9 0 drawn aside1 & we /ood face to face ) ! m51 :o _h1 ( c\rse1 on _! side ( ! curta91 be5 put ?r\gh ! same ordeal4 ,i felt dreadfully n]v\s1 = ,i did n "k :at 0 com+ next1 & ,i c\ld n q dismiss f my m9d ! /ories t ,i _h he>d ab\t ^! my/]ies4 ,b 9 spite ( my n]v\sness1 curiosity 0 /rong 9 me at t mom5t1 z x 01 ,i suppose1 9 ! o!rs2 =1 z soon z ! curta9 0 drawn aside1 we all ca/ our eyes 9 ! direction ( ! m54 ,!y1 z might be expect$1 7 look+ 9 our direction1 & :5 ,i beheld !m ,i mu/ say t my sympa?ies 7 drawn out t[>ds ! poor creatures4 ,h[ev] little vanity or p]sonal pride !y possess$1 !y mu/ h felt x unpleasant to h to appe> 9 ! pres5ce ( ladies 9 su* a dress--or r undress2 & not)/&+ ! solemn mean+ ( ! c]emony1 !re 0 j ! gho/ ( a smile ^u our faces z we look$ at ea* o!r & dropp$ our eyes aga94 ,to any "o :o did n feel z we did ! religi\s nature ( ! initiation1 ! sc5e mu/ h appe>$ p]fectly ludicr\s4 ,9 fact1 "s ( u felt x s4 ,"o si/]1 j z ! curta9 0 drawn up & we came 9 full view ( our lords1 cri$ out1 8,oh de>1 oh de>1 :]e %all ,i g8 ,:at %all ,i d80 ,?is1 z may be suppos$1 caus$ a laugh1 :i* 01 ( c\rse1 imm$iately suppress$4 ,we c\ld see h[ ! m5 look$1 b ( our own appe>ance we c\ld n s easily judge4 ,c]ta9ly1 we mu/ h look$ any?+ b h&some 9 our :ite g>m5ts1 & ) ! oil trickl+ d[n our faces & into our eyes1 mak+ !m sm>t & look r$4 ,!re 0 no?+1 h[ev]1 = u to d b to submit quietly & make ! be/ ( x we c\ld4 ,a%am$ z ,i 01 ,i ?\ght ,i might v5ture to look at my husb&2 !re c\ld be no h>m 9 t2 b :5 ,i saw 8 demure-look+ c\nt5ance & 8 ef=ts to keep 8 clo?+ 9 ord]1 ,i ?\ght ,i %\ld be compell$ to laugh outright1 = ,i c\ld see t 8 ?\ghts 7 m occupi$ ab\t 8 p]sonal appe>ance ?an ) ! solemnity ( ! occasion4 ,! m5 7 all dress$ 9 ! same k9d ( g>m5t z ! wom5--draw]s & %irt all 9 "o1 v mu* l ^? :i* are us$ = *ildr5 to sleep 91 & ov] t an ord9>y :ite %irt1 su* z m5 always we>2 t1 ) socks & :ite l95 %oes1 complet$ _! toilet4 ,clad aft] ?is int]e/+ fa%ion1 we sat opposite to ea* o!r = sev]al m9utes1 & !n my husb& & myself 7 in/ruct$ to come =w>d & kneel at ! alt> :ile all ! re/ rema9$ /&+4 ,x is ! cu/om ?us to select two p]sons1 & we 7 ei!r pick$ out by *ance1 or x might be1 z my husb& 0 ?\ght a good deal ( by ! au?orities1 t !y consid]$ he w\ld feel hon\r$ by ! pref]5ce4 ,sudd5ly a voice 0 he>d speak+ to "s "o1 :o also repli$4 ,?is voice f ! unse5 0 suppos$ to be ! voice ( ,elohim 9 conv]sation ) ,jehovah1 & ! words t 7 us$ 7 mu* ! same z ^? conta9$ 9 ! fir/ *apt] ( ! book ( ,g5esis1 describ+ ! creation ( ! _w4 ,f9ally1 ,jehovah & ,elohim decl>e _! int5tion to come d[n & visit ! e>?4 ,?is !y d1 & pron\nce all t !y behold v good2 b !y decl>e t x is necess>y t "o ( a high] ord] ( intellig5ce ?an ! brute creation %\ld be plac$ 9 ! _w to gov]n & control all else4 ,mi*ael ! ,ar*angel is n[ call$1 & he is plac$ ^u ! e>? "u ! "n ( ,adam1 & p[] is giv5 him ov] all ! bea/s ( ! field1 ! f[ls ( ! air1 & ! fi%es ( ! sea4 ,moreov]1 ! fruits ( ! e>? are all giv5 to him = 8 su/5ance & pleasure2 b he is /rictly *>g$1 z 9 ,bible /ory1 n to eat ( "o p>ticul> tree :i* /&s 9 ! mid/ ( ! g>d54 ,?is tree is repres5t$ by a small real ev]gre51 & a few bun*es ( dri$ rais9s are hung ^u x z fruit4 ,x is n[ discov]$ t x is n good = man to be alone2 ,elohim & ,jehovah1 !re=e1 hold ano!r conv]sation ^u t subject1 & !y f9ally det]m9e to give a companion to ,adam4 ,!y1 !re=e1 cause a deep sleep to fall ^u ,mi*ael--or ,adam z he is n[ call$--& !y prep>e to op]ate ^u him4 ,"h we 7 all in/ruct$ to assume ! attitude ( deep sleep by dropp+ our heads ^u our brea/s4 ,elohim & ,jehovah !n come d[n & g ?r\gh ! motions ( remov+ a rib f ! side ( ! sleep]1 :i* said rib appe>s imm$iately ^u ! sc5e 9 ! p]son ( ,eliza ,r4 ,sn[4 ,elohim & ,jehovah are g5]ally repres5t$ by two ( ! ,twelve ,apo/les4 ,:5 ,brigham is pres5t he plays a prom95t "p4 ,& n[ ! devil makes 8 appe>ance 9 ! p]son ( ,w4 ,w4 ,phelps4 ,phelps us$ always to p]sonate ! devil 9 ! ,end[m5ts1 & ! rle suit$ him admirably4 ,he is dead n[1 b :e!r x has made any diff]5ce 9 8 /atus ,i _c tell1 nor d ,i "k :o has succe$$ him 9 8 (fice4 ,! devil we>s a v tight-fitt+ suit ( black musl91 ) knee-bree*es & black /ock+s & slipp]s4 ,?is dress _h all ! appe>ance ( a !atrical co/ume1 & ! man look$ z mu* l :at "o might imag9e ! devil w\ld look z he possibly c\ld4 ,he began by try+ to scrape acqua9tance ) ,eve1 :om he meets :ile tak+ a walk 9 ! g>d54 ,! innoc5t1 unsuspect+ woman is fasc9at$ by 8 att5tions4 ,fa!r ,adam--:o seems to h _h a t\* ( ! ,mormon ab\t him--p]haps 0 n ! mo/ att5tive ( husb&s2 or he may h made ! same mi/ake z t :i* s _m ( 8 sons h s9ce made--neglect+ to pay ! same att5tions aft] m>riage z he 0 wont to be=e--& left 8 "y wife to ! m]cy ( ! tempt]4 ,h[ev] t may be1 ,satan & ,eve are soon discov]$ 9 conv]sation toge!r1 & ,eve appe>s to be p>ticul>ly pleas$ ) ,satan4 ,at l5g? he (f]s h] "s ( ! fruit ( ! =bidd5 tree1 & aft] "s little demur %e accepts x & eats !re(4 ,!n ! devil leaves h]1 ,adam makes 8 appe>ance1 & ,eve p]suades him also to eat ( ! fruit ( ! tree4 ,aft] ?is !y make a dumb %[ ( p]ceiv+ _! condition1 & an apron ( :ite l95 is produc$1 on :i* are sewn pieces ( gre5 silk1 9 imitation ( fig leaves1 & 9 ^! !y bo? attire !mselves4 ,!n all ! bre?r5 & si/]s produc$ simil> aprons :i* !y _h br\ght ) !m on purpose1 & ^! !y put on1 z ,adam & ,eve _h already done4 ,elohim n[ appe>$ aga91 & call$ ,adam2 b ,adam 0 afraid1 & hid himself 9 ! g>d5 ) ,eve4 ,! curse 0 n[ pron\nc$ ^u ! s]p5t--! devil--:o reappe>s ^u 8 h&s & knees1 mak+ a hiss+ noise z "o might suppose a s]p5t w\ld d4 ,we 7 !n all driv5 out ( ! ,g>d5 ( ,ed5 into ano!r room :i* repres5t$ ! _w--& ?is end$ ! 8,fir/ ,degree40 ,we 7 n[ suppos$ to be out 9 ! _w1 e>n+ our daily bread by ! sweat ( our br[s1 & we 7 in=m$ t al?\gh we _h be5 driv5 out f ! pres5ce ( ! ,"l1 yet a plan ( salvation w\ld be devis$ = u1 by :i* we %\ld be enabl$ to return to our fir/ e/ate4 ,we 7 to wait pati5tly until ?is plan %\ld be disclos$ to u4 ,!re 0 "h su* a mixture ( p]sons & ev5ts t ,i c\ld n exactly foll[ ! idea t 0 int5d$ to be convey$--if !re 0 any idea at all4 ,m5 repres5t+ ! anci5t prophets ent]$1 & gave in/ructions to ! p to prep>e !mselves = ! fir/ com+ ( our ,savi\r ^u e>?4 ,!n we 7 taught c]ta9 pass-words & grips2 & !n we 7 all arrang$ 9 a circle4 ,! wom5 cov]$ _! faces ) _! veils1 & we all kneel$ d[n1 &1 ) our "r h&s uplift$ t[>ds heav51 we took ! solemn oa? ( ob$i5ce & secrecy4#a ,we swore t by e means 9 our p[] we w\ld seek to av5ge ! dea? ( ,joseph ,smi?1 ! ,prophet1 ^u ! ,g5tiles :o _h caus$ 8 murd]1 & t we w\ld tea* our *ildr5 to d s2 we swore1 t )\t murmur or que/ion+1 we w\ld implicitly obey ! comm&s ( ! prie/hood 9 ev]y?+2 we swore t we w\ld n commit adult]y--:i*1 ) ref]5ce to ! m51 0 expla9$ to mean ! tak+ ( wives )\t ! p]mission ( ! holy ,prie/hood2 & we swore t we w\ld nev]1 "u any circum/ances1 reveal t :i* transpir$ 9 ! ,end[m5t ,h\se4 ,! p5alty = break+ ?is oa?1 :i* 0 word$ 9 ! mo/ />tl+ & impressive way1 0 !n expla9$ to u4 ,8 b[els 7--:ile he 0 yet liv+--to be torn f him1 8 ?roat 0 to be cut f e> to e>1 & 8 he>t & tongue 7 to be cut out4 ,9 ! _w to come1 ev]la/+ damnation w\ld be 8 portion4 ,let n ! read] ?9k t ?is 0 m]ely an imag9>y p5alty1 or t x 0 express$ m]ely = ! purpose ( fright5+ ! weak-m9d$2 =1 z w be %[n1 puni%m5ts q z horrible z t h be5 delib]ately met$ out to ! ,apo/ate1 ! ,g5tile1 & ! suspect$ ,sa9t1 by ! ,mormon ,prie/hood4 ,! innoc5t blood :i* cries = v5geance aga9/ ,brigham ,"y & "s ( ! lead]s ( ! ,*ur* is suffici5t to weigh ! pure/ _s :i* /&s be=e ! ?rone ( ,god d[n to ! ne!rmo/ abysses ( hell4 ,aft] ^! fe>ful oa?s _h be5 tak5 ) due solemnity1 we 7 in/ruct$ 9 ! v>i\s signs repres5t+ ^? dreadful p5alties2 & we 7 also giv5 a 8grip0 peculi> to ?is degree4 ,we 7 next ent]ta9$ by a long address f ! ,apo/le ,heb] ,c4 ,kimball4--,nev] 9 my life--except f ,brigham ,"y--h ,i li/5$ to su* disgu/+ language1 & ,i tru/ ,i nev] %all be compell$ to li/5 to any?+ l x aga94 ,bro!r ,kimball always us$ to pride himself ^u us+ 8pla90 language1 b t day ,i ?9k he surpass$ himself2 he seem$ to take q a pleasure 9 say+ any?+ :i* c\ld make u blu%4 ,! subject ( :i* he disc\rs$ 0 ! m>ri$ life 9 ! 8,cele/ial ,ord]20 he also laid great /ress ^u ! necessity ( our keep+ sil5ce conc]n+ all t we _h witness$ 9 ! ,end[m5t ,h\se--ev5 husb&s to _! wives1 & wives to _! husb&s1 7 n to utt] a s+le ^w4 ,) ! s]mon end$ our 8,second ,degree40 ,we 7 n[ tak5 to ano!r room = ! purpose ( pass+ ?r\gh ! 8,?ird ,degree0 ( ! ,ord] ( ! ,mel*is$ec ,prie/hood4 ,:5 we 7 all arrang$ on "o side aga9/ ! wall1 a numb] ( individuals ent]$ :o 7 suppos$ to repres5t ! m9i/]s ( e d5om9ation & religion ^u ! face ( ! e>?4 ,! devil also makes 8 appe>ance aga94 ,! m9i/]s set =? ! v>i\s claims ( _! respective cre$s--ea* "o /riv+ to %[ t 8 is ! pure/ & ! be/--b ! devil s[s division & hatr$ among !m1 & a good deal ( confusion ensues4 ,!n came 9 p]sonages repres5t+ ,pet]1 ,james1 & ,john1 ! ,apo/les2 & !y comm&$ m9i/]s1 devil1 & all to dep>t4 ,!y !n appe>$ to organize a new ,*ur*1 9 :i* ! true pr9ciples ( ! ,gospel 7 to be taught2 our ,temple robes 7 also all *ang$ f ! "r %\ld] to ! left1 indicat+ t we 7 n[ 9 ! true ,*ur*1 & t we 7 to be absolutely & 9 e way dep5d5t ^u ! prie/hood4 ,ano!r grip 0 !n giv5 to u1 & ?us we receiv$ ! ?ird degree ( ! ,ord] ( ,mel*is$ec ,prie/hood4 ,9 t room 0 a division made ( blea*$ musl92 9 ! division a door & 9 ! door a hole1 ) a lap ( musl9 ov] x1 ?r\gh :i* to pass ! h&4 ,:oev] 0 on ! o!r side c\ld see u1 b we c\ld n see !m4 ,! m5 fir/ approa*$ ?is door4 ,a p]son repres5t+ ! ,apo/le ,pet] appe>$ at ! op5+ & dem&$ :o 0 !re4 ,he 0 told t "s "o desir$ to ent]4 ,h&s came ?r\gh ! op5+ 9 ! musl9 curta91 & my/]i\s f+]s cut a m>k on ! left brea/ ( ! m5's %irts--"o m>k also ov] ! abdom51 & "o ov] ! "r knee--:i* m>ks ! wom5 religi\sly imitat$ ^u _! own g>m5ts :5 !y got home4 ,! applicant 0 !n told to put 8 h& ?r\gh ! op5+1 & give ! la/ grip belong+ to ! 8,?ird ,degree10 & m5tion 8 new "n4 ,he 0 !n p]mitt$ to ent]4 ,?is 0 call$ 8go+ beh9d ! veil40 ,:5 ! m5 7 all admitt$1 ! wom5 7 suff]$ to approa*1 & 7 pass$ ?r\gh by _! own husb&s4 ,:5 a woman has no husb& %e is pass$ ?r\gh by "o ( ! bre?r51 & to ^? :o are n go+ to be m>ri$ or seal$ = et]nity "h ! c]emonies end4 ,n[1 z ,i be=e /at$1 accord+ to ,mormon ideas we _h nev] be=e be5 legally m>ri$4 ,x 0 !re=e1 necess>y t we %\ld n[ pass ?r\gh t c]emony4 ,we accord+ly 7 conduct$ to a desk1 :]e our names 7 ent]$1 & we 7 !n pass$ into ano!r room4 ,9 t room 0 a long1 l[ alt>1 cov]$ ) r$ velvet1 & an arm*air plac$ at "o end ( x1 9 :i* sat ,brigham ,"y4 ,my husb& knelt at "o side ( ! alt> & ,i at ! o!r1 ) our h&s clasp$ above x 9 ! la/ grip :i* _h be5 giv5 to u4 ,!n ! ord9>y =mula ( m>riage 0 gone ?r\gh )1 & we 7 in=m$ t we 7 seal$ = "t & = et]nity4 ,?us we pass$ ?r\gh ! my/]ies ( ! ,end[m5t ,h\se1 & at ?ree o'clock 9 ! aft]noon we f\nd ourselves at lib]ty to return home4 ,! v>i\s c]emonies _h occupi$ eight h\rs4 ,:5 we rea*$ home1 my husb& said1 8,well1 :at d y ?9k ( ! ,end[m5ts80 ,b ,i did n d>e to answ] him tru?fully at t "t4 ,_h ,i done s1 ,i %\ld h told him t ,i 0 a%am$ & disgu/$4 ,nev] 9 all my life did ,i suff] su* humiliation z ,i did t day2 = ! :ole "t ,i 0 "u ! impression t ^? :o (ficiat$ look$ ^u u z a set ( silly dupes1 & ,i felt annoy$ to ?9k t ,i d>$ n tell !m s4 ,s ,i told my husb& t ,i w\ld r n speak ab\t x1 & we nev] h spok5 ( x to ?is day4 ,:at 7 8 own feel+s ab\t ! matt]1 ,i d n "k1 = ,mormon wives are taught nev] to pry into _! husb&'s feel+s or m$dle ) _! actions4 ,b not)/&+ all my feel+s 9 ref]5ce to ! ,end[m5ts1 s fooli% 0 ,i t :5 ,i aft]w>ds he>d ! bre?r5 & si/]s talk+ ab\t ! happ9ess :i* !y _h exp]i5c$ :ile go+ ?r\gh1 & say+ h[ privileg$ we ought to feel at be+ 9 ,zion among ! ,sa9ts ( ,god1 secure 9 ,8 ,k+dom :]e we c\ld br+ up our *ildr5 9 ! fe> ( ! ,"l1 ,i began aga9 to ?9k t ! fault 0 all 9 myself1 & t x 0 ,i :o 0 wrong & n ! ,end[m5ts4 ,i wond]$ h[1 ) su* a rebelli\s he>t1 ,i %\ld ev] get salvation1 & ,i m\rn$ to ?9k t ,i _h n accept$ ev]y?+ ) ! simplicity ( a *ild4 ,"s "t aft] our initiation ,i met ! ,apo/le ,heb] ,c4 ,kimball1 & he ask$ me h[ ,i felt ^u ! occasion4 ,i frankly told him all1 b add$ t ,i regrett$ feel+ s4 ,he said1 8,i %all see if y _c g ?r\gh aga92 x is n j ! ?+1 & ,i %all try & make ! opportunity40 ,no?+ m1 h[ev]1 0 said ab\t x4 ,b t :i* tr\bl$ me mo/ 0 ! fact t :ile ! oa?s 7 be+ adm9i/]$1 ,i dropp$ my h& & inw>dly v[$ t ,i w\ld nev] subscribe to su* ?+s1 & at ! same "t my he>t 0 fill$ ) bitt] opposition4 ,?is1 al?\gh ,i did x involunt>ily--my bett] nature ris+ )9 me1 & ov]com+ my sup]/ition--,i ?\ght at ! "t 0 s9ful4 ,i n[1 h[ev]1 rejoice t su* 0 ! case2 = n hav+ actually v[$ to keep secret ^? abom9able oa?s1 ,i c say1 )\t any cavil or equivocation1 t ,i h brok5 no promise & betray$ no tru/ by ! revelations :i* ,i h j made4 ,,*apt] ,,xxii4 ,,secrets ,,( ,,sa9tly ,,sp\ses3--,a ,,visit ,,f ,,my ,,talkative ,,fri5d4 ,n long aft] ,i _h receiv$ my ,end[m5ts1 my talkative fri5d1 ( :om ,i h already spok51 came to see me & to (f] h] congratulations4 ,%e 0 q en?usia/ic ^u ! subject1 spoke ( ! hon\r :i* _h be5 conf]r$ ^u u1 & promis$ to call frequ5tly 8to build me up40 ,%e 0 p>ticul>ly anxi\s to le>n :e!r ,i did n feel mu* bett] & happi] n[4 ,on t po9t ,i c\ld say little1 = to h answ]$ h] tru?fully w\ld h provok$ discussion1 into :i* ,i did n c>e to ent]4 ,i knew1 too1 t any?+ ,i said to h] w\ld soon be kn[n to e "o else4 ,s ,i told h] t ,i 0 feel+ well en\gh4 8#8,well en\gh6'0 %e said4 8,is t h[ y feel8 ,come n[1 ,i ?\ght y w\ld h got ov] all t :5 y _h be5 ?r\gh y\r ,end[m5ts4 ,y rem9d me ( :at ,bro!r ,brigham says1--,we h s _m :9+ wom5 9 ,zion t x is q a reproa*4 ,i d hope t y are n go+ to become "o ( !m4 ,let me give y a bit ( advice3 ,! wise/ ?+ t y c d is to look out = ano!r wife = y\r husb&1 & get him to m>ry h]40 8,oh my60 ,i said2 8:at are y talk+ ab\t8 ,y surely _c be 9 e>ne/40 8,i nev] 0 m e>ne/ 9 my life10 %e answ]$4 8,if y _h p]suad$ y\r husb& to take ano!r wife :5 y w5t ?r\gh y\r ,end[m5ts1 y w\ld h got ov] all y\r tr\bles at "o "t4 ,! anticipation is t5 times worse ?an ! reality40 8,i d n see x 9 t light10 ,i said4 8,my own op9ion is t my tr\bles 9 t case w\ld only !n h begun4 ,i d n ?9k t y y\rself are really happy40 8,oh1 nons5se60 %e exclaim$4 8,:y y c see h[ happy ,i am4 ,my husb& has two o!r wives1 besides myself1 & a m com=table family c\ld n be40 8,y nev] told me10 ,i said1 8h[ y\r husb& manag$ to get ^? wives4 ,i %\ld l to he>40 8,my husb& manag$6 ,:y he did n manage at all2 x 0 ,i :o arrang$ ev]y?+ = him1 & ,i'll tell y h[ x 0 done4 8,dur+ ! ,re=mation10 %e cont9u$1 8y1 ( c\rse1 "k ! m5 7 con/antly urg$ to take m wives2 b my husb& 0 r backw>d1 & us$ to tell me !re 0 pl5ty ( "t1 & n ! slighte/ occasion = him to be 9 a hurry4 ,i _h my own op9ion ( ! matt] & did n agree ) him1 = y see ,i 0 afraid t aft] all1 he w\ld pick up "s "y girl or o!r & fall 9 love ) h]1 & all my plans w\ld be dis>rang$4 ,x is1 y "k mu* ! be/ = ! fir/ wife to look out = "s girl :o w look up to h] & respect h]1 b n love h] husb& too mu*1 & !n !y are likely to get on well toge!r4 ,if ! fir/ wife selects ! o!r wives1 x has ! effect ( %[+ !m t ! husb& ?9ks mu* ( h] judgm5t & is will+ to abide by x1 & t !y w h to d ! same4 ,?is1 ( c\rse1 is z x %\ld be4 ,b if %e lets h] husb& *oose 8 own wife1 he is almo/ c]ta9 to take a fancy to "s "o :om ! fir/ wife does n l at all1 & consequ5tly h] au?ority is und]m9$4 ,! fir/ wife ought to keep all ! p[] 9 h] own h&s40 8,well10 ,i said1 8,i %\ld n c>e mu*1 ,i ?9k1 :o rul$ 9 my home if ano!r wife 0 !re40 8,y ?9k s n[10 %e repli$2 8b :5 y get us$ to polygamy y w feel q o!rwise4 ,p get us$ to x--! wom5 z well z ! m5--& !n !y leave (f frett+ & become less selfi%4 ,b ,i 0 go+ to tell y h[ ,i manag$ my husb&4 8,i 0 v anxi\s1 z ,i told y1 to f9d ano!r wife = him1 & ,i took into consid]ation all ! suitable girls ,i knew4 ,!re 0 "s objection to almo/ e "o4 ,"s 7 too pretty & ,i knew ,i %\ld dete/ !m2 & o!rs 7 n good-look+1 & ^? my husb& c\ld n be>4 ,s ,i wait$ pati5tly1 b did n give up ! hope ( succe$+ ev5tually4 ,at la/ ,i met ) a girl :o ,i ?\ght w\ld d4 ,%e 0 c]ta9ly n bad-look+1 b %e 0 v "y1 & ,i ?\ght ,i %\ld be able to manage h]4 ,! "n ( ?is girl 0 ,alice ,mayn>d2 %e 0 a neighb\r ( ours1 & "o ( a l>ge family4 ,%e seem$ to me to be a quiet mode/ little creature1 & ,i knew t %e _h to "w h>d & receiv$ v little 9 return4 ,9 fact1 %e l$ at home a life ( drudg]y1 & ev5 h] v clo?+ bore witness to ! pov]ty ( ! family4 ,h] "m _h (t5 told me t %e felt badly = ,alice1 = ,mr4 ,mayn>d _h ?ree o!r wives1 & x 0 m ?an he c\ld d to support !m all prop]ly4 8,i call$ "o day on ,mrs4 ,mayn>d to broa* ! matt] to h]4 ,%e receiv$ me v k9dly1 & ent]$ into my views at once4 ,%e 0 anxi\s1 %e said1 = ,alice to get m>ri$1 = !n %e w\ld be bett] (f4 ,i ask$ h] h[ %e w\ld l h] to m>ry my husb&1 & told h] t we 7 v com=tably (f--z y "k we are--& t my husb& own$ 8 h\se & lot1 & 0 do+ a v good bus9ess1 &1 ( c\rse1 ought to take ano!r wife4 ,w\ld %e agree to my proposal1 & let me m5tion ,alice to him8 8,%e said %e h]self _h no objection1 b t p]haps my husb& might n l ,alice1 or ,alice might n l him4 8,i felt indignant at ! idea t any girl %\ld hesitate to m>ry my husb&1 & ,i told ,si/] ,mayn>d t !re c\ld n possibly be any hesitation on ,alice's "p4 #8,i'm sure ,i h no objection1' %e said1 #8if ,alice has none4 ,i %\ld only be too happy to see my *ild 9 a m com=table home4' 8,well1 !n1 we'll consid] ! matt] settl$1 ,i said1 & ask$ if ,i c\ld see ,alice2 s h] "m call$ h] 91 & ,i propos$ to h] = my husb&4 ,y c guess1 p]haps1 h[ a/oni%$ ,i 0 :5 %e actually laugh$ 9 my face1 & said %e %\ld l to consid] ! matt]6 ,i did n1 h[ev]1 %[ h] :at ,i ?\ght1 b ass5t$ to :at %e said1 & invit$ h] to come & take tea ) u4 8,my husb& _h (t5 told me1 :5 ,i 0 teas+ him ab\t tak+ ano!r wife1 t he w\ld will+ly m>ry any girl ,i might *oose = him2 & ,i felt pleas$ at ?is1 = x %[$ confid5ce 9 my judgm5t4 ,s :5 he came 91 lat] 9 ! day1 ,i told him ,i _h f\nd a wife = him at la/1 & t ,i knew he w\ld l h]4 #8,:y1 ,ann1' he said1 #8,i d believe y are go+ crazy ov] ! wife "q2 b if y are1 ,i d n want y to drive me crazy also4' ,i really ?\ght ?is 0 too bad1 aft] all my tr\ble = him2 b nev]!less ,i 0 resolv$ t ! m>riage %\ld take place4 8,?ree days aft] t1 9 accordance ) my invitation1 ,alice came to take tea ) u1 & ,i fix$ h] up to look nice4 ,:5 %e 0 ready1 ,i took h] into ! p>l\r to introduce h] to my husb&1 :o 0 sitt+ !re read+4 ,h5ry1 ,i said1 ?is is ,miss ,mayn>d--! "y lady ( :om ,i spoke to y ! o!r day4 ,he look$ up f 8 pap]1 &1 to my a/oni%m5t1 said1 #8,:y1 ,alice1 my girl1 h[ d y d8 ,h[ are "m & fa!r8' 8#8,:at1 ,i said1 d y "k ,alice1 ,h5ry8'0 8#8,c]ta9ly ,i d10 he answ]$2 #8,alice & ,i h met _m times be=e ?is1 hav5't we1 ,alice8' 8#8,yes1 sir1' %e said1 &1 oh1 s demurely4 ,:y1 ,si/] ,/5h\se1 ,i began to ?9k t ,i _h actually be5 deceiv$1 & t :ile ,i _h innoc5tly suppos$ t ,i _h f\nd out ! girl myself1 x 0 ! v "o ^u :om my husb& _h _h 8 eye = a long :ile pa/4 ,i wat*$ !m1 h[ev]1 v n>r[ly1 = ,i 0 det]m9$ t if my husb& _h really tak5 a fancy = ! girl he %\ld nev] h h]40 8,:y1 t w\ld h facilitat$ matt]s1 w\ld x n80 ,i said4 8,d y ?9k10 %e repli$1 8t ,i w\ld h all[$ !m to m>ry if !y lov$ ea* o!r8 ,no1 inde$6 ,! ,sa9ts m>ry f pr9ciple & n f love1 z ,bro!r ,brigham has (t5 told u4 ,i hope y believe me1 de>1 :5 ,i say t ,i am n at all a jeal\s woman1 b if my husb& d>$ to fall 9 love ) a girl & to hide x f me1 ,i c\ld n /& x ,i am sure4 ,no6 pr9ciple is ! only ?+--!re c be no love 9 ,polygamy4 ,if a man lov$ 8 wife1 d y ?9k he c\ld h ! he>t to pa9 h] by tak+ ano!r8 ,on ! o!r h&1 x is because ( ! love :i* /ill rema9s 9 _! he>ts1 & :i* !y we>y !mselves to cru% out1 t s _m ( ! fir/ wives are mis]able4 ,b ,i 0 go+ to tell y ab\t ,alice4 ,i 0 mi/ak5 9 ?9k+ t my husb& _h be5 pay+ h] any att5tions4 ,x appe>$ t he 0 acqua9t$ ) h] fa!r & "m1 & t at _! h\se he _h frequ5tly se5 ! *ild ,alice1 b nev] suppos$ %e 0 ! ,miss ,mayn>d ( :om ,i _h spok54 ,b n[ !y _h come toge!r at la/ he took to h] k9dly & %e to him1 & really ,i sometimes almo/ ?\ght !y wi%$ to ignore me altoge!r4 8,i did n let !m wa/e mu* "t fuss+ ) "o ano!r1 b !y got on v rapidly1 nev]!less2 & be=e ,i _h "t to arrange matt]s prop]ly1 my husb& told me t to please me he 0 go+ to m>ry ,alice4 ,only fancy me be+ pleas$ at him m>ry+ ,alice6 ,:y1 x wasn't to please myself t ,i introduc$ ! *ild to him1 b simply because1 if he mu/ h ano!r wife1 x 0 c]ta9ly be/ = me to *oose "o :om ,i c\ld manage4 ,h[ev]1 !y 7 m>ri$ n long aft]1 & really ,i ?9k ,i nev] 0 m disgu/$ 9 my life ?an ,i 0 on t occasion4 ,i 0 n jeal\s1 b ,i d ?9k he might h paid h] a little less att5tion4 ,9 fact ,i q regrett$1 :5 x 0 too late1 t ,i _h ev] br\ght !m toge!r4 8,! ,mormon m5 always d make !mselves silly ov] _! new wives1 & ,i did n expect my husb& to be an exception to ! rule2 b ,i 0 p]fectly a/oni%$ at ! *ange t took place 9 ,alice4 ,in/ead ( ! quiet1 mode/ girl %e us$ to be1 %e put on all sorts ( airs1 & treat$ me z if ,i 7 ( n ! slighte/ consequ5ce4 ,i c\ldn't /& t1 & ,i resolv$1 if x 7 only to take ! pride out ( h]1 ,i w\ld get my husb& to m>ry ano!r wife /ill4 ,he w\ldn't object1 ,i knew1 = he takes life v easily1 & he has a great respect = my op9ion4 ,besides :i*1 he is q well en\gh (f to support ?ree wives2 & z a matt] ( duty1 if no?+ else1 he ought to d s4 ,t w\ld soon br+ ,miss ,alice to a prop] /ate ( m9d1 & %e ne$$ some?+ ( ! sort2 =1 d y "k1 %e _h actually made t silly husb& ( m9e ?9k t %e ought to be treat$ ) ! same consid]ation z myself40 8,well1 b10 ,i said1 8if ! pr9ciple ( polygamy is ( ,god1 x is only j t all ! wives %\ld be treat$ alike4 ,if my husb& 7 to m>ry ano!r woman1 mu* z x w\ld pa9 me1 ,i %\ld treat h] z an equal40 8,!n10 %e repli$1 8if y d s y w f9d t ! fir/ wives w h no?+ to d ) y4 ,y w f9d1 :5 y come to be bett] acqua9t$ ) ! p "h1 t ! fir/ wives d n wa/e mu* love ov] ! polygamic wives2 &1 ( c\rse1 z a rule1 ! polygamic wives dete/ ! fir/ wives4 ,!n ! plural wives get toge!r & talk all mann] ( evil ab\t ! fir/ wives1 :o d pretty mu* ! same 9 respect to !m4 ,x is only natural t !y %\ld d s4 8,b ,i 0 go+ to tell y10 %e cont9u$1 8h[ ,i select$ ! ?ird wife4 ,!re 0 an emigrant-tra9 expect$ 9 e day2 & y "k1 :5 ! emigrants arrive1 all ^? wom5 :o want wives = _! husb&s1 & all ^? m5 :o want to *oose = !mselves1 g d[n to ! camp+-gr\nd1 & if !y see a girl :o takes _! fancy !y ask h] if %e has got a place to g to1 & if %e has n !y (f] to receive h] !mselves4 ,!re are hundr$s ( "y girls :o arrive "h )\t any "o to look aft] !m1 & :o are only too glad to accept a home = ! w9t]4 ,n[ ?is 0 exactly :at ,i did4 ,i w5t d[n to ! camp & look$ r\nd = myself1 & at la/ my eyes re/$ ^u a "y woman ( ab\t ?irty or ?irty-five ye>s ( age1 :o ,i ?\ght w\ld be a m suitable wife = my husb& ?an t giggl+ *it t ,i *ose = him at fir/4 ,i decid$ at once t %e w\ld d1 s ,i w5t up to h] & ask$ h] if %e _h any fri5ds4 ,%e said %e _h a bro!r liv+ 9 ! ,city2 b :5 ,i expla9$ to h] h[ we 7 situat$1 & said t ,i %\ld l h] to come & /ay ) u till %e c\ld look r\nd a little = h]self1 %e agre$ at once4 ,n[--,i ?\ght--,miss ,alice1 we %all see :e!r y are go+ to h ?+s all y\r own way any long]6 8,i told h]1 h[ev]1 z well z my husb&1 t ,i _h br\ght home a si/] to /ay ) u a :ile1 & !y receiv$ h] v k9dly1 & %e soon made h]self v useful & agreeable to u all4 ,! bi%op came & talk$ to my husb&1 & he made no difficulty at all 9 acc$+ to my wi%es1 & be=e long he made our visitor wife numb] ?ree2 & ,alice1 z a matt] ( c\rse1 lo/ a good deal ( h] influ5ce ov] him4 ,= my own "p1 ,i am mu* m com=table4 ,! two plural wives d ne>ly all ! "w1 & ,i h little else to d ?an sup]9t5d ! h\sehold & enjoy myself4 ,my husb& is "o ( ^? quiet sort ( m5 :o nev] int]f]e ) dome/ic affairs1 & ,i h matt]s pretty mu* my own way n[4 ,! only ?+ t annoys me is 8 fondness = ,alice1 :o makes h]self appe> mo/ amiable to him1 deceitful ?+6 ,i c't break him ( t1 b ,i (t5 tell him t he w f9d h] out "s day4 ,he tells me t he looks ^u h] z a *ild1 & feels l a fa!r t[>ds h]2 no woman1 he says1 c ev] h 8 love b me4 ,t s\nds all v well2 b z to believ+ x1 t is q ano!r ?+--,i keep my eye on !m1 & wat* !m well40 8,b10 ,i said1 8x appe>s to me t x w\ld h be5 f> bett] if y _h nev] giv5 him ano!r wife at all1 y w\ld h be5 sav$ f annoyance1 & ! privacy ( y\r home w\ld n h be5 di/urb$4 ,i am ! m surpris$1 z y\r husb& did n himself desire x40 8,:5 y und]/& bett] ! ord] ( ! k+dom1 y w n speak 9 t way10 %e said4 8,d y suppose t ,i %all be satisfi$ to be ! wife ( a man :o c\ld n exalt me 9 ! cele/ial k+dom--a man ) only "o wife8 ,:y ,i h (t5 told my husb& t if he did n get o!r wives ,i w\ld leave4 ,x is necess>y = a man to h two wives1 at lea/1 if he w\ld ent] into ! cele/ial k+dom4 ,t is :y ,i h be5 s anxi\s to get wives = my husb&4 ,at ! same "t !re is no necessity = him to fall 9 love1 & act 9 a silly way ov] !m4 ,! only way 9 su* a case is to set "o to wat* ! o!r1 & !n !y are pretty c]ta9 to keep ! old man /raight4 ,y ?9k1 p]haps1 t ,i don't feel all ?is1 b y mu/ n be deceiv$ by appe>ances4 ,i try to d ! w ( heav5 ) a smile on my face2 & ! bre?r5 h (t5 told me t if ! o!r si/]s 7 m l me !y w\ld n h s mu* difficulty 9 e/abli%+ ,polygamy4 ,b1 de> me1 ,si/] ,/5h\se1 :at a long talk we've _h6 ,i'll come & see y soon aga91 b ,i mu/ ha/5 away n[1 = my husb& w be home to supp] by ?is "t40 ,s %e left me wond]+ ov] h] /range /ory ( a woman's exp]i5ce 9 supply+ h] own husb& ) wives4 ,,*apt] ,,xxiii4 ,,social ,,life ,,9 ,,salt ,,lake ,,city3--,,ball-,,rooms1 8,,wall-,,fl[]s10 ,,& ,,divorce4 ,we _h n be5 long 9 ,salt ,lake ,city be=e ! ball-season comm5c$4 ,^! balls af=d spl5did opportunities to ! m5 = flirt+ ) ! girls4 ,no matt] h[ old & homely a man is1 he ?9ks t he has z mu* "r to flirt & dance ) ! girls z ! y\nge/ boy2 = !y all look ^u !mselves & ea* o!r z boys & s+le m51 ev5 if !y h a doz5 wives4 ,!re is no limit to _! 8privileges40 ,!y are always 9 ! m>ket4 ,brigham1 9 8 public disc\rses1 has said t ! bre?r5 8are all "y m5 "u a hundr$ ye>s ( age40 ,) su* an ext5d$ privilege1 x is "h 9 ,utah t ho>y ,w9t] & smil+ ,may c be se5 gallop+ =? 9 ! dance toge!r--a ?\ghtful subject = ! arti/'s p5cil4 ,x is ( no consequ5ce h[ mu* a man may flirt 9 ! pres5ce ( 8 wife or wives4 ,!y mu/ n presume to say "o ^w to him ab\t x2 = ! husb& is free to d :atev] he likes4 ,he is "o ( ! lords ( creation4 ,he is ma/] ( 8 wives1 ( 8 *ildr54 ,!n1 h[ c "o ( 8 own d>e to call 9 "q any?+ he may ?9k fit to d8 ,%e may1 x is true1 d s2 b %e mu/ take ! consequ5ces ( t ra% act4 ,oh6 h[ ,i loa! ev5 ! v remembrance ( ^? hateful ball-rooms1 :]e ,i h se5 s _m unhappy wives1 & h he>d s _m tales ( sorr[4 ,=1 :ile ! wives w\ld be sitt+ z 8wall-fl[]s0 along ! sides ( ! halls1 aft] hav+ danc$ ! fir/ dance ) _! husb&s1 z a matt] ( =m1 ,i h he>d !m _m times tell+ ea* o!r ab\t :at !y _h se5 _! husb&s do+ dur+ ! ev5+2 & h[ !y _h be5 compell$ to pay att5tion to "s simp]+ girl t _! husb&s *anc$ to fancy2 & h[ !y _h _h to d x = peace sake1 & appe> to be satisfi$4 ,i d n mean to say t ,i did n l ^! social amusem5ts myself1 = ,i did2 & c\ld1 "u o!r circum/ances1 h enjoy$ !m v mu*4 ,b ,i _h be5 told s _m ?+s ( ! unpleasantness ( a ball-room 9 ,salt ,lake ,city--at lea/1 to m>ri$ wom5--t my appreh5sions 7 ar\s$4 ,b all t 0 ev] told me nev] half came up to ! tru?2 nor c ,i possibly myself give ! read] any correct idea ( ! he>ta*es & sorr[s :i* ^! sc5es br+ to ! wives ( ,mormons4 ,x is q a common ?+ = m>ri$ m5 to g ) "y girls to ^! balls4 ,! majority ( ! m51 h[ev]1 pref] to take _! fir/ wives ) !m at ! same "t2 b x is n infrequ5t to he> a lady say 9 ! ball-room1 8,my husb& has br\ght 8 girl "h to-night2 b ,i h n spok5 "o ^w to h]1 nor w ,i d s40 ,yet1 if any "o 7 to ask ^! same ladies if !y believ$ t ,polygamy 0 "r1 !y w\ld say1 8,c]ta9ly ,i d2 b ,i d n l h]0--& ?is simply because _! husb&s _h paid h] att5tions4 ,?is seems l inconsi/5cy2 b x s]ves to %[ :at conflict+ feel+s ,mormon wom5 h to cont5d )4 ,! m5 %\ld he> :at _! wives say ab\t !m 9 ! ball-rooms1 & ! hatr$ !y feel = !m4 ,i h se5 "s wom5 sitt+ quietly eye+ _! husb&s1 z !y danc$ or flirt$ ) _! y\ng] loves1 till _! cup ( indignation 0 full4 ,!n !y w\ld make = ! dress+-rooms1 :]e _! ang] w\ld bur/ ^u ! e>s ( a gr\p ( eag] li/5]s1 :o 7 seem+ly pleas$ to le>n t "s "o else 0 suff]+ z well z !mselves4 ,a half-repress$ ?reat1 8,i w be ev5 ) him0 has escap$ ! lips ( ^? :o1 be=e t1 _h pass$ = be+ happily situat$4 ,:]e new matrimonial alliances are cont9ually tak+ place1 ! arrival ( a g5tleman1 ) 8 wife1 wives1 or a maid51 9 ! ball-room1 is nev] rem>k$2 &1 n infrequ5tly1 diff]5t wives arrive at diff]5t h\rs dur+ ! ev5+s1 z x suits _! conv5i5ce2 & ?us x w\ld be difficult to say :o came ) _! 8"l40 ,besides1 no obs]vation is made if a lady ?us ent]s ! ball-room alone1 ?\gh x is expect$ t h] husb& is aw>e ( h] com+4 ,?is com+ alone1 h[ev]1 is n a common habit2 b1 z x is admissible1 x does occasionally happ5 t a husb& is danc+ or enjoy+ himself 9 ! ball-room ) 8 la/ fiance1 :5 a vigilant pair ( eyes se>*es ov] ! room & lights ^u ! happy 8"l40 ,:5 eyes l ^! enc\nt] ! eyes !y seek1 a *ange is se51 & ! y\?ful air9ess ( ! g5tleman vani%es1 & sob] looks foll[ ! gaiety ( ! e>li] h\r4 ,i met ,presid5t ,heb] ,c4 ,kimball at "o ( ^! balls1 soon aft] my arrival4 ,he said t he w\ld introduce me to 8 wife4 ,e "o lik$ ,heb] = 8 outspok51 hone/ bluntness4 ,he took me up ! hall & introduc$ me to five wives 9 succession6 8,n[10 said he1 8,i ?9k ,i'll quit2 = ,i fancy y are n ov] /rong 9 ! fai?40 ,i ask$1 8,are ^! all y h got80 8,o de>1 no10 he said3 8,i h a few m at home1 & ab\t fifty m scatt]$ ov] ! e>? some:]e4 ,i h nev] se5 !m s9ce !y 7 seal$ to me 9 ,nauvoo1 & ,i hope ,i nev] %all aga940 ,i ?\ght ?is 0 t]rible2 b x 0 only ! beg9n+ ( worse ?+s4 ,aft] ?is w9t]1 ,i _h v little peace2 = ! wom5 7 con/antly talk+ to me ab\t my husb& gett+ ano!r wife4 ,he held out1 h[ev]1 = five ye>s2 b at la/ he 8felt t x 0 8 duty to d s10 & ,i 0 silly en\gh to all[ t 8he 0 n liv+ up to 8 religion0 unless he took an extra wife4 ,i %all nev] =get ^? ball-room sc5es4 ,ev5 to ?is day1 :5 ,i *ance to li/5 to tunes :i* ,i us$ to he> play$ 9 ^? times1 !y grate t]ribly ^u my e>1 & br+ back s _m sad recollections1 t ,i want to get away f ! s\nd ( !m z quickly z possible1 = !y are m ?an ,i c endure4 ,bygone recollections are (t5 recall$ by trifles su* z ?is4 ,a few mon?s ago ,i att5d$ a ball 9 ,salt ,lake ,city4 ,x 0 ! fir/ ,i _h be5 to s9ce ,i )drew f ! ,*ur*2 & ( c\rse x 0 got up by ! 8,lib]al ,p>ty40 ,i felt free & happy1 = !re 0 no?+ to annoy or di/urb me4 ,sudd5ly ! b& /ruck up a tune :i* ,i _h he>d :ile att5d+ ! ,mormon balls4 ,x s\nd$ l ! dea?-knell ( all my pleasant feel+s1 & ar\s$ memories ( ! pa/ :i* 7 s int5sely pa9ful t ,i c\ld n rally f ! depression t ,i felt = ! re/ ( ! ev5+4 ,i _h he>d t tune be=e1 & _m l x1 & _h ev5 danc$ to x1 :ile my he>t 0 break+4 ,let me ask my lady read]s--^?1 ,i mean1 :o h nev] be5 9 ,utah4 ,ladies1 h[ d y ?9k y w\ld feel if y 7 kept wait+ long aft] ! h\r ( midnight1 f> away into ! morn+1 until y\r husb&s _h got ?r\gh ) _! danc+ & flirt+1 :ile y\r own he>ts 7 break+8 ,i ?9k ,i he> y say1 8,i w\ld n /& x40 ,y d n "k1 ,i assure y1 :at y w\ld d "u ! circum/ances4 ,h[ c y possibly judge :at ! feel+s ( a ,mormon woman are1 :o has be5 taught to believe t 8h] desire %all be unto h] husb&1 & he %all rule ov] h]40 ,9 v e>ly days ,brigham built a !atre1 & a v fair am\nt ( hi/rionic tal5t 0 develop$ among ! ,sa9ts4 ,! ,social ,hall1 9 :i* 7 held balls1 public ent]ta9m5ts1 & o!r amusem5ts1 0 us$ = hi/rionic p]=mances be=e ! !atre 0 built4 ,brigham own$ ! !atre4 ,money 0 to be made out ( x2 & ! *ance ( mak+ money ,bro!r ,brigham nev] p]mitt$ to slip ?r\gh 8 f+]s4 ,brigham's eyes 7 %>p en\gh to see t a !atre w\ld be to him a s\rce ( pr(it1 b he did n look f> en\gh4 ,t !atre--"u ! imm$iate direction ( ! ,prophet1 ) 8 own daught]s act+ 9 x1 ) ! plays :i* 7 p]=m$ "u 8 own c5sor%ip--has be5 "o ( ! _m causes :i* h p]ceptibly1 al?\gh p]haps indirectly1 %ak5 ! hold :i* ,mormonism _h ^u _m a woman's m9d4 ,a man w\ld probably witness ! p]=mance ( a play & return f ! !atre ) no o!r ?\ght ?an ! remembrance ( an h\r's amusem5t4 ,b n s a woman4 ,to h] ! play sugge/$ some?+ m1 & h] daught]s w\ld %>e h] ?\ghts4 ,daily & h\rly1 x might be1 ! effects ( ,polygamy w\ld be br\ght "u _! notice z a matt] affect+ !mselves p]sonally4 ,!y might be firm 9 ! fai?1 b ! obs]vant in/9cts ( _! sex c\ld nev] be :olly cru%$4 ,!y w\ld notice ! neglect :i* wives endur$ ev5 f good husb&s2 !y w\ld see a man leav+ ! wife ( 8 y\?1 ! "m ( 8 *ildr51 &1 c>eless ( ! cruel wrong he did h]1 leave h] 9 lonely sorr[ :ile he 0 sp5d+ 8 "t 9 love-mak+ ) "s "y girl :o might h be5 8 daught]4 ,!y w\ld see a wife cru%+ out f h] he>t ! holie/ impulses :i* ,god _h implant$ !re1 /riv+ to de/roy all affection = him ^: de>e/ treasure t affection %\ld h be51 because1 inde$1 ,polygamy c\ld n exi/ ) love4 ,!y w\ld see & "k1 & !mselves p]sonally feel1 ! degradation & mis]y ( ! 8,cele/ial ,ord] ( ,m>riage20 & t to !m w\ld be ! practical picture ( life4 ,b 9 ! !atre--%ort-sight$ ,brigham1 to all[ x to be s6--ano!r picture w\ld be pres5t$ = _! consid]ation2 a picture x might be1 ideal 9 its details & surr\nd+s1 b true to ! lett] 9 ! lesson :i* x convey$ & ! ?\ghts :i* x sugge/$4 ,! disgu/+1 ! brutaliz+ cruelties ( ,polygamy1 7 nev] repres5t$ on ! /age4 ,?\ghts s co>se1 s s5sual1 c\ld nev] inspire ! true poet's p54 ,no2 ! tale ( love1 z ! poet tells x1 is all t is ref9$1 & *a/e1 & delicate1 & pure2 ! comm+l+ ( two s\ls1 ! unison ( two lov+ he>ts1 ! hopes1 ! aspirations1 ! t5d] joyful sorr[s ( two fond natures--( two alone6 ,su* is ! picture pres5t$ z ! ideal ( ! beautiful & ( ! good4 ,!n1 too1 ! delicate att5tions ( ! devot$ lov]1 8 happ9ess ev5 9 ! %ad[ ( a smile f h]1 ! l(ty p$e/al ^u :i* to 8 imag9ation %e /&s1 a que5 & pe]less2 or ! confid+ love ( ! h]o9e ( ! /ory2 blu%+ly confess+ to h]self t !re is "o he>t on e>? :i* is all h] own1 & 9 :i* none b h]self c ev] rule or reign4 ,! ,mormon wom5 are n devoid ( common s5se1 nor are !y de/itute ( ^? quick p]ceptions :i*1 "u all circum/ances1 di/+ui% _! sex4 ,!y see on ! /age repres5tations ( ! happ9ess att5dant ^u love & m>riage1 su* z ,god orda9$1 & su* z f9ds a response 9 e he>t2 & !y comp>e su* pleasant pictures ) :at !y "k & h witness$ ( ,polygamy1 & !y draw pa9ful inf]5ces !refrom4 ,_! fai? may be pro( aga9/ apo/asy1 b ! impression left ^u _! m9ds produces its effect not)/&+4 ,! spr+ came on1 & our prospects began to bright54 ,my husb& n only f\nd remun]ative employm5t = 8 p5 9 ,salt ,lake ,city1 b 0 also engag$ z special correspond5t to ! ,new ,york ,h]ald & sev]al ( ! ,cali=nia pap]s4 ,"o morn+1 a c\ntryman1 r\ghly dress$ & look+ ! picture ( c>e1 call$ at our h\se & ask$ to see ,mr4 ,/5h\se4 ,i gaz$ at him = a mom5t1 = ,i ?\ght !re 0 some?+ famili> 9 ! s\nd ( 8 voice4 ,he look$ at me1 & ,i at once recogniz$ him2 x 0 ,monsieur ,balif himself1 9 ^: h\se we _h liv$ 9 ,switz]l&4 ,b1 oh1 h[ *ang$ he 06 ,once a ref9$1 h&some1 g5tlemanly man2 n[ a m]e wreck ( 8 =m] self1 c>eworn1 r\gh-look+1 poorly clad4 ,he & 8 family _h be5 9 ,utah six ye>s1 & _h suff]$ all ! ills t pov]ty c induce3 ! *ange :i* 0 wr\ght 9 him 0 s great1 t = "s mom5ts ,i 0 s ov]come by my feel+s t ,i c\ld n utt] a ^w4 ,9 ! few %ort ye>s :i* _h elaps$ s9ce ,i saw him 9 8 own bright & happy home1 he _h become q an old man4 ,i h>dly d>$ to ask ab\t 8 wife1 = ,i fe>$ :at 8 answ] might be2 b aft] a little :ile he told me t %e _h s5t h] love1 & w\ld l to see me :5ev] ,i c\ld f9d an opportunity to call ^u h]4 ,!y liv$ "s miles f ! city1 b ,i told him t ,i w\ld n fail to visit !m :5ev] x 0 possible = me to d s4 ,i talk$ a long :ile ) ,monsieur ,balif1 & 0 mu* int]e/$ 9 :at he told me4 ,he made no compla9ts2 he _h /ill firm fai? 9 ,mormonism1 & said t if ! bre?r5 _h n dealt fairly by him !y w\ld be answ]able to ,god = :at !y _h done4 8,besides10 he add$1 8,i d n blame !m s mu*1 = !y are ,am]icans1 & w\ld n be happy if !y did n get ! advantage 9 "s way40 ,i 0 anxi\s to ask him if he _h be5 induc$ to take ano!r wife1 z he _h be5 9 ,utah dur+ ! 8,re=mation10 & ,i did n see h[ x 0 possible = him to h escap$2 b :ile ,i 0 ?9k+ h[ ,i might put ! "q delicately1 he sav$ me ! tr\ble by himself tell+ me t he _h m>ri$ ! "y s]vant-girl1 :om 8 wife _h tak5 f ,switz]l& ) h]4 ,?is in=mation 0 q a %ock to me1 = ,i well knew ! pr\d _s ( 8 wife1 & ,i c\ld realize :at angui% ?is second m>riage mu/ h caus$ h]2 ,i did n1 h[ev]1 l to "q him on ! subject4 ,s ,i turn$ ! conv]sation into ano!r *annel1 & :5 he w5t away ,i s5t k9d messages to ,madame ,balif1 say+ t ,i w\ld seize ! v fir/ opportunity ( he>+ f h] own lips ! /ory ( all !y _h gone ?r\gh4 ,"h1 aga91 ,i f\nd ! trail ( t mon/]--,polygamy4 ,?is "t 9 ! home ( my de>e/ fri5d4 ,f ! mom5t :5 %e & ,i _h m+l$ our te>s toge!r 9 ,switz]l&1 ov] t abom9ation1 life _h be5 to me "o long1 we>y1 sick5+ battle ) my own he>t2 "o futile attempt to fully conv9ce myself t ,polygamy 0 "r & t ,i 0 wrong4 ,i c]ta9ly did believe1 or ?\ght t ,i believ$1 ! doctr9e 0 true4 ,b at times nature prevail$ 9 ! /ruggle1 & womanly indignation & ang] rose 9 arms aga9/ fai?4 ,^! feel+s 71 h[ev]1 at once & unhesitat+ly subdu$2 fai? return$ triumphant1 & ,i 0 aga9 conv9c$ t ! ,revelation mu/ h be5 ! w ( ! ,"l1 & t my duty 0 to submit1 b n to "q4 ,9 mom5ts ( comp>ative self-control ,i _h ev5 tri$1 z a ,mission>y's wife1 to ju/ify x to o!rs1 b only to witness an outbur/ ( sorr[ & ang]1 & to feel /ill m ! weakness ( my position4 ,t _h be5 my own exp]i5ce2 b h[ _h ! "t pass$ ) my de> old fri5d8 ,%e mu/1 no d\bt1 h be5 z greatly disappo9t$ z ,i 0 :5 %e came to ,zion & saw ?+s z !y really 71 & n z !y _h be5 repres5t$ to u4 ,my own eyes _h c]ta9ly be5 op5$ n a little s9ce my arrival4 ,in/ead ( f9d+ ! p enjoy+ ! com=ts & bless+s ( life1 :i* we _h be5 taught 7 /rewn ar\nd !m 9 pr(use abundance1 we f\nd among all b ! lead+ families ! greate/ pov]ty & privation4 ,! majority ( ! p 7 liv+ 9 little log or adobe h\ses1 ( "o or at ! utmo/ two rooms1 ( mo/ primitive con/ruction1 & )\t ! slighte/ conv5i5ce ( any description4 ,_! food 0 bread & molasses1 & x might be an occasional morsel ( meat2 b _m ( !m sc>cely ev] indulg$ 9 ! latt]1 or 9 any article ( groc]y1 = mon?s at a "t4 ,_! floors & walls 7 b>e1 & _! clo?+ poor & scanty2 & yet1 de/itute z !y 7 ( all ! com=ts & conv5i5ces ( life1 !y 7 consci5ti\sly endeav\r+ l good ,sa9ts to practise ,polygamy1 because1 z !y believ$1 ! ,"l _h comm&$ x4 ,9 respect to education !y 7 9 ev5 a worse position4 ,books1 pictures1 & p]iodicals ( any k9d1 !re 7 none1 ) ! exception ( t dre>y organ ( ! *ur*1 ! ,des]et ,news--! soporific influ5ce ( :i* "s wick$ ,apo/ate has lik5$ to a dose ( ,w9sl['s soo?+ syrup4 ,brigham ,"y1 himself an illit]ate man1 & ! lead+ ,eld]s1 fr[n$ ^u e attempt to raise ! intellectual /atus ( ! p2 & s little enc\ragem5t 0 giv51 t no "o c\ld af=d to keep s*ool4 ,! consequ5ce 01 t ! boys & girls grew up ) little m education ?an _! own s5se ( necessity taught !m to acquire = !mselves2 & x 0 n until v rec5tly t any suitable ef=ts 7 made to supply tra9$ tea*]s & to op5 s*ools 9 :i* a ?or\gh education c\ld be af=d$4 ,i h already m5tion$ ! s]mons ( ! ,tab]nacle1 & obs]v$ h[ little calculat$ !y 7 to elevate ! "* or cultivate ! m9ds ( ! p4 ,i h be=e me z ,i write a *oice morsel extract$ f "o ( ! s]mons ( ,heb] ,c4 ,kimball1 :i* ,i ?9k ,i mu/ give = ! read]'s b5efit4 ,fancy an 8,apo/le60 ?us address+ a l>ge & mix$ congregation ( m51 wom51 & *ildr53-- 8,"h are "s edicat$ m5 je/ "u my nose4 ,!y come "h & !y ?9k !y "k m ?an ,i d1 & !n !y git ! big head1 & x swells & swells until x gits l ! old woman's squa%--y g to t\* x & x goes k]-sma%2 & :5 y look = ! man1 :y he a9't ?>4 ,!y're je/ l s _m pots 9 a furnace--y] "k ,i've be5 a pott] 9 my "t--almighty ?9 & almighty big2 & :5 !y're sot up ! heat makes 'em smoke a little1 & !n !y collapse & tumble 91 & !y a9t no :>40 ,?is 0 ,heb]'s /yle 9 g5]al4 ,next to mak+ mode/ p blu%1 no?+ pleas$ him bett] ?an to annoy or ridicule any "o :o _h ! smalle/ pret5sions to education2 & yet naturally ,heb] 0 a k9d-he>t$ man4 ,brigham's /yle is v little bett]1 & ! sub/ance ( 8 disc\rses q z bad4 ,i w give a v fav\rable specim51 tak5 f a s]mon on ,polygamy1 deliv]$ "s ye>s ago1 t\*$ up & correct$1 & publi%$ 9 ! (ficial organ1 ! ,des]et ,news3-- 8,m5 w say1 #8,my wife1 ?\gh a mo/ excell5t woman1 has n se5 a happy day s9ce ,i took my second wife4' #8,no1 n a happy day = a ye>1' says "o2 & ano!r has n se5 a happy day = five ye>s4 8,i am go+ to set e woman at lib]ty1 & say to !m1 ,n[ g y\r way--my wom5 ) ! re/2 g y\r way4 ,& my wives h got to d "o ( two ?+s2 ei!r r\nd up _! %\ld]s to endure ! afflictions ( ?is _w & live _! religion1 or !y mu/ leave2 = ,i w n h !m ab\t me4 ,i w g into heav5 alone r ?an h scrat*+ & fight+ ar\nd me4 ,i w set all at lib]ty4 #8,:at1 fir/ wife too6' ,yes1 ,i w lib]ate y all4 ,i "k !re is no cessation to ! ev]la/+ :9+s ( _m ( ! wom5 9 ?is t]ritory2 ,i am satisfi$ t ?is is ! case2 & if ! wom5 w turn f ! comm&m5ts ( ,god1 & cont9ue to despise ! ord] ( heav51 ,i w pray t ! curse ( ! ,almighty may be close to _! heels1 & t x may be foll[+ !m all ! day long4 ,& ^? t ent] into x 7! cele/ial ord]7 & are fai?ful1 ,i w promise !m t !y %all be que5s 9 heav5 & rul]s to all et]nity4 8,n[ if any ( y w d5y ! plurality ( wives1 & cont9ue to d s1 ,i promise t y w be damn$40 ,?is 0 sweet language = a ,prophet & a ,sa9t to utt]1 & yet x is n half s co>se or improp] z "s :ole s]mons t ,i h li/5$ to f ! lips ( ,bro!r ,brigham & ! o!r lead]s ( ! ,*ur*4 ,! ,apo/le ,orson ,pratt is ! only "o :o has d>$1 9 ! pres5ce ( ,brigham1 to say t education 0 a prop] ?+1 & t !re 7 _m books :i* w\ld be ( good s]vice to ! ,sa9ts1 if !y obta9$ & /udi$ !m4 ,on "o occasion1 ,brigham arose 9 ire1 & said1-- 8,! pr(essor has told y t !re are _m books 9 ! _w1 & ,i tell y t !re are _m p !re4 ,he says !re is some?+ 9 all ^! books2 ,i say ea* ( ^? p]sons has got a "n4 ,x w\ld d y j z mu* good to le>n ^? somebodies' names z x w\ld to read ^? books4 ,five m9utes' revelation w\ld tea* me m tru? ?an all ?is pack ( nons5se t ,i %\ld h pack$ away 9 my unlucky bra9s f books40 ,b ! ,prophet has *ang$ ) ! times1 & !re are n[ 9 ,utah v good s*ools1 bo? ,mormon & ,g5tile1 b none ( !m are free-s*ools4 ,bi%op ,taylor once said 9 a public lecture t !y 7 8de/ructive to ! be/ int]e/s ( ! community20 & ! bi%op's 8"l0 9 ! ,lion-,h\se is exactly ( ! same op9ion1 = he has repeat$ly decl>$ t 8!re %all be no #8free-s*ools' )9 8 ,sa9tly #8,k+dom' on e>?40 ,nev]!less1 ,bro!r ,brigham & 8 8,infallible ,prie/hood0 are at la/ beg9n+ to discov] t al?\gh ! night ( ignorance & sup]/ition may hate ! cle> daylight ( tru? & k1 :5 ! great ,rul] ( all comm&s ! light to come =? x is n 9 ! p[] ( man1 ) all 8 boa/+1 to =bid ! sun to %9e ^u ! d>k places ( ! e>?4 ,balls1 p>ties1 & ! !atre provid$ amusem5t = ! p 9 ,salt ,lake ,city itself2 b 9 ! ,settlem5ts !re 0 little else 9 ! %ape ( recreation ?an idle gossip or ! h>angues ( ! ,tab]nacle4 ,at ! "t :5 we w5t to ,utah1 ,mormon society 0 sl[ly recov]+ f t t]rible m>ry+ mania :i* _h set 9 dur+ ! 8,re=mation10 & a season ( divorce 0 ! result4 ,! au?orities at t "t1 z ,i h already obs]v$1 _h urg$ e p]son1 )\t di/9ction1 into ,polygamy4 ,m5 & wom5 _h be5 =c$ to m>ry "o ano!r )\t any respect to affection or fitness1 & ! result 0 t hundr$s ( m>riages 7 ent]$ into :i* made ^? :o contract$ !m mis]able = life1 b ! consequ5ces ( :i* !y c\ld n avoid4 ,at ! same "t n a few 7 divorc$ almo/ imm$iately aft] !y 7 m>ri$1 & ^! ?+s 7 a matt] ( daily occurr5ce4 ,brigham ,"y1 ) 8 eye p]petually on ! doll>1 f9d+ t 8 m>ry+ s*eme1 l _m o!r ( 8 8div9e0 plans1 0 a failure1 saw at once t q a nice little sum might be realiz$ by *>g+ a fee = divorces4 ,no?+ 0 *>g$ = m>ry+2 b if ! p insi/$ on hav+ divorces1 :y1 ! be/1 & c]ta9ly ! mo/ pr(itable ?+1 0 to make !m pay = !m4 ,:5 we fir/ w5t to ,utah1 ! ,prophet 0 do+ q a fl\ri%+ bus9ess 9 t l9e4 ,any "o c\ld get a divorce = t5 doll>s2 & ,brigham publicly 9 ! ,tab]nacle je/$ ab\t x1 & said t ! money ?us obta9$ came 9 v conv5i5tly z p9-money = 8 wives1 ?\gh ,i d\bt if !y ev] receiv$ a doll> ( x4 ,he add$1 t s f> z 8et]nity0 0 conc]n$1 ^! divorces 7 n wor? ! pap] !y 7 writt5 on2 ! p _h m>ri$ = et]nity1 & 9 et]nity !y w\ld h to live toge!r1 :e!r !y lik$ x or n4 ,he says ! same to-day2 b /ill he sells 8 divorces1 & ga!rs 9 ! t5 doll>s4 ,z ,i h writt5 s mu* ( ! tr\bles ( ! si/]s1 p]haps x w be z well to give ! read] an idea ( ! trials & difficulties :i* ! bre?r5 _h to cont5d ) :5 !y fir/ attempt$ ! introduction ( ,polygamy4 ,to d ?is1 ,i %all give ! correspond5ce ( ,miss ,m>?a ,bro!rton1 =m]ly ( ,man*e/]1 ,engl&1 relat+ to a v int]e/+ c\rt%ip betwe5 h]self & ,brigham ,"y4 ,i w\ld h ! read] rem>k t ?is correspond5ce di/9ctly proves t ,polygamy 0 taught by ! heads ( ! *ur* be=e ! ,prophet receiv$ ! pr(ess$ revelation4 ,?is acc\nt 0 publi%$ j a ye>1 lack+ "o day1 be=e ! revelation on ,polygamy 0 giv5 to ,joseph ,smi?4 ,x 0 publi%$ 9 ,bo/on1 9 book =m1 9 #ahdb4 ,! revelation 0 giv5 at ,nauvoo1 on ! #ab? ( ,july #ahdc4 ,! foll[+ is ! lett] ref]r$ to3#b-- 8,,/4 ,,l\is1 ,miss\ri1 ,july #ac1 ,a4,d4 #ahdb4 8,,de> ,,sir1--,i left ,w>saw a %ort "t s9ce = ?is city1 & hav+ be5 call$ ^u by y1 ?r\gh ! ,sangamo ,j\rnal1 to come out & disclose to ! _w ! facts ( ! case 9 relation to c]ta9 propositions made to me1 at ,nauvoo1 by "s ( ! ,mormon lead]s1 ,i n[ proce$ to respond to ! call1 & dis*>ge :at ,i consid] to be a duty devolv+ ^u me z an innoc5t1 b insult$ & abus$ female4 ,i _h be5 at ,nauvoo ne>ly ?ree weeks1 dur+ :i* "t my fa!r's family receiv$ frequ5t visits f ,eld]s ,brigham ,"y & ,heb] ,c4 ,kimball1 two ( ! ,mormon ,apo/les2 :51 e>ly "o morn+1 !y bo? came to my bro!r-9-law's 7,john ,mc,ilwrick's7 h\se1 at :i* place ,i 0 !n on a visit1 & p>ticul>ly reque/$ me to g & sp5d a few days ) !m4 ,i told !m ,i c\ld n at t "t1 z my bro!r-9-law 0 n at home2 h[ev]1 !y urg$ me to g ! next day & sp5d "o day ) !m4 ,! day be+ f9e1 ,i accord+ly w5t4 ,:5 ,i arriv$ at ! foot ( ! hill1 ,"y & ,kimball 7 /&+ conv]s+ toge!r4 ,!y bo? came to me1 & aft] sev]al flatt]+ complim5ts1 ,kimball wi%$ me to g to 8 h\se fir/4 ,i said x 0 immat]ial to me1 & w5t accord+ly4 ,we _h n1 h[ev]1 gone _m /eps :5 ,"y sudd5ly /opp$1 & said he w\ld g to t bro!r's 7po9t+ to a little log hut a few y>ds di/ant71 & tell him t y 7speak+ to ,kimball7 & ,bro!r ,glov]1 or ,grov] 7,i d n rememb] :i*7 w value 8 l&4 ,:5 he _h gone1 ,kimball turn$ to me & said1 #8,m>?a1 ,i want y to say to my wife1 :5 y g to my h\se1 t y want to buy "s ?+s at ,joseph's /ore 7,joseph ,smi?'s71 & ,i w say ,i am go+ ) y to %[ y ! way4 ,y "k y want to see ! ,prophet1 & y w !n h an opportunity4' ,i made no reply4 ,"y aga9 made 8 appe>ance1 & ! subject 0 dropp$4 ,we soon rea*$ ,kimball's h\se1 :5 ,"y took 8 leave1 say+1 #8,i %all see y aga91 ,m>?a4' ,i rema9$ at ,kimball's ne>ly an h\r2 :5 ,kimball1 see+ ,i w\ld n tell ! lies he wi%$ me to1 told !m to 8 wife himself4 ,he !n w5t & :isp]$ 9 h] e>1 & ask$ if t w\ld please h]4 #8,yes1' %e said1 #8or ,i c g along ) y & ,m>?a4' #8,no1' said he1 #8,i h "s bus9ess to d1 & ,i w call = y aft]w>ds to g ) me to ! debate1' mean+ ! debate betwe5 y\rself & ,joseph4 ,to ?is %e cons5t$4 ,s ,kimball & ,i w5t to ! /ore toge!r4 ,z we 7 go+ along1 he said1 #8,si/] ,m>?a1 are y will+ to d all t ! ,prophet requires y to d8' ,i said1 ,i believ$ ,i 0--?9k+1 ( c\rse1 he w\ld require no?+ wrong4 #8,!n1' said he1 #8are y ready to take c\nsel8' ,i answ]$ 9 ! affirmative1 ?9k+ ( ! great & glori\s bless+s t _h be5 pron\nc$ ^u my head if ,i adh]$ to ! c\nsel ( ^? plac$ ov] me 9 ! ,"l4 #8,well1' said he #8!re are _m ?+s reveal$ 9 ^! la/ days t ! _w w\ld laugh & sc(f at2 b unto u is giv5 to "k ! my/]ies ( ! k+dom4' ,he fur!r obs]v$1 #8,m>?a1 y mu/ le>n to hold y\r tongue1 & x w be well ) y4 ,y w see ,joseph1 & v likely w h "s conv]sation ) him1 & he w tell y :at y %all d4' ,:5 we rea*$ ! build+1 he l$ me up "s /airs to a small room1 ! door ( :i* 0 lock$1 & on x ! foll[+ inscription1 #8,positively no admittance4' ,he obs]v$1 #8,ah6 ,bro!r ,joseph mu/ be sick1 =1 /range to say1 he is n "h4 ,come d[n into ! ti?+-(fice1 ,m>?a4' ,he !n left me 9 ! ti?+-(fice & w5t out1 ,i "k n :]e4 ,9 ?is (fice 7 two m5 writ+1 "o ( :om1 ,william ,clayton1 ,i _h se5 9 ,engl&2 ! o!r ,i did n "k4 ,"y came 9 & seat$ himself be=e me1 & ask$ :]e ,kimball 04 ,i said he _h gone out4 ,he said x 0 all "r4 ,soon aft]1 ,joseph came 9 & spoke to "o ( ! cl]ks1 & !n w5t up/airs1 foll[$ by ,"y4 ,imm$iately aft]1 ,kimball came 94 #8,n[ ,m>?a1' said he1 #8! ,prophet has come2 come up/airs4' ,i w5t1 & we f\nd ,"y & ! ,prophet alone4 ,i 0 introduc$ to ! ,prophet by ,"y4 ,joseph (f]$ me 8 seat1 &1 to my a/oni%m5t1 ! mom5t ,i 0 seat$1 ,joseph & ,kimball walk$ out ( ! room1 & left me ) ,"y1 :o arose1 lock$ ! door1 clos$ ! w9d[1 & drew ! curta94 ,he !n came & sat be=e me & said1 #8,?is is our private room1 ,m>?a4' #8,inde$1 sir1' said ,i2 #8,i mu/ be highly hon\r$ to be p]mitt$ to ent] x4' ,he smil$1 & !n proce$$1 #8,si/] ,m>?a1 ,i want to ask y a few que/ions2 w y answ] !m8' #8,yes1 sir1' said ,i4 #8,& w y promise me n to m5tion !m to any "o8' #8,if x is y\r desire1 sir1' said ,i1 #8,i w n4' #8,& y w n ?9k any ! worse ( me = x2 w y1 ,m>?a8' said he4 #8,no1 sir1' ,i repli$4 #8,well1' said he1 #8:at are y\r feel+s t[>d me8' ,i repli$1 #8,my feel+s are j ! same t[>d y t !y ev] 71 sir4' #8,b1 to come to ! po9t m closely1' said he1 #8h n y an affection = me1 t1 7 x lawful & "r1 y w\ld accept ( me = y\r husb& & companion8' ,my feel+s at ?is mom5t 7 indescribable4 ,god only kn[s !m4 ,:at1 ?\ght ,i1 are ^! m51 t ,i ?\ght almo/ p]fection itself1 deceiv]s1 & is all my fanci$ happ9ess b a dream8 ',twas ev5 s2 b my next ?\ght 01 :i* is ! be/ way = me to act at ?is "t8 ,if ,i say ,no1 !y may d z !y ?9k prop]2 & to say ,yes1 ,i nev] w\ld4 ,s ,i consid]$ x be/ to ask = "t to ?9k & pray ab\t x4 ,i !re=e said1 #8,if x 0 lawful & "r1 p]haps ,i might2 b y "k1 sir1 x is n4' #8,well1 b1' said he1 #8,bro!r ,joseph has _h a revelation f ,god t x is lawful & "r = a man to h two wives2 =1 z x 0 9 ! days ( ,abraham1 s x %all be 9 ^! la/ days1 & :oev] is ! fir/ t is will+ to take up ! cross w receive ! greate/ bless+s2 &1 if y w accept ( me1 ,i w take y /raight to ! cele/ial k+dom2 &1 if y w h me 9 ?is _w1 ,i w h y 9 t :i* is to come1 & ,bro!r ,joseph w m>ry u "h1 to-day1 & y c g home ?is ev5+1 & y\r p>5ts w n "k any?+ ab\t x4' #8,sir1' said ,i1 #8,i %\ld n l to d any?+ ( ! k9d )\t ! p]mission ( my p>5ts4' #8,well1 b1' said he1 #8y are ( age1 are y n8' #8,no1 sir1' said ,i2 #8,i %all n be until ! #bd? ( ,may4' #8,well1' said he1 #8t does n make any diff]5ce4 ,y w be ( age be=e !y "k1 & y ne$ n fe>4 ,if y w take my c\nsel1 x w be well ) y1 = ,i "k x to be "r be=e ,god2 & if !re is any s9 9 x1 ,i w answ] = x4 ,b ,bro!r ,joseph wi%es to h "s talk ) y on ! subject2 he w expla9 ?+s2 w y he> him8' #8,i d n m9d1' said ,i4 #8,well1 b ,i want y to say some?+1' said he4 #8,i want to ?9k ab\t x1' said ,i4 #8,well1' said he1 #8,i w h a kiss1 anyh[1' & !n rose1 & said he w\ld br+ ,joseph4 ,he !n unlock$ ! door1 & took ! key1 & lock$ me up alone4 ,he 0 abs5t ab\t t5 m9utes1 & !n return$ ) ,joseph4 #8,well1' said ,"y1 #8,si/] ,m>?a w\ld be will+ if %e knew x 0 lawful & "r be=e ,god4' #8,well1 ,m>?a1' said ,joseph1 #8x is lawful & "r be=e ,god--,i "k x is4 ,look "h1 sis2 don't y believe 9 me4' ,i did n answ]4 #8,well1 ,m>?a1' said ,joseph1 #8j g ahead1 & d z ,brigham wants y to2 he is ! be/ man 9 ! _w1 except me4' #8,oh6' said ,brigham1 #8!n y are z good4' #8,yes1' said ,joseph4 #8,well1' said ,"y1 #8we believe ,joseph to be a ,prophet4 ,i h kn[n him ne> eight ye>s1 & h always f\nd him ! same4' #8,yes1' said ,joseph1 #8& ,i "k t ?is is lawful & "r be=e ,god1 & if !re is any s9 9 x1 ,i w answ] = x be=e ,god2 & ,i h ! keys ( ! k+dom1 & :atev] ,i b9d on e>? is b\nd 9 heav51 & :atev] ,i loose on e>? is loos$ 9 heav52 & if y w accept ( ,brigham1 y %all be bless$--,god %all bless y1 & my bless+ %all re/ ^u y2 &1 if y w be l$ by him1 y w d well2 = ,i "k t ,brigham w d well by y1 & if he don't d 8 duty to y1 come to me1 & ,i w make him2 & if y d n l x 9 a mon? or two1 come to me & ,i w make y free aga92 & if he turns y (f1 ,i w take y on4' #8,sir1' said ,i1 r w>mly1 #8x w be too late to ?9k 9 a mon? or two aft]4 ,i want "t to ?9k fir/4' #8,well1 b1' said he1 #8! old prov]b is1 8,no?+ v5tur$1 no?+ ga9$10 & x w be ! greate/ bless+ t 0 ev] be/[$ ^u y4' #8,yes1' said ,"y1 #8& y w nev] h reason to rep5t x--t is1 if ,i d n turn f righte\sness1 & t1 ,i tru/1 ,i nev] %all2 = ,i believe ,god1 :o has kept me s long1 w cont9ue to keep me fai?ful4 ,did y ev] see me act 9 any way wrong 9 ,engl&1 ,m>?a8' #8,no1 sir1' said ,i4 #8,no1' said he2 #8nei!r c any "o else lay any?+ to my *>ge4' #8,well1 !n1' said ,joseph1 #8:at are y afraid (1 sis8 ,come1 let me d ! bus9ess = y4' #8,sir1' said ,i1 #8d let me h a little "t to ?9k ab\t x1 & ,i w promise n to m5tion x to any "o4' #8,well1 b look "h1' said he2 #8y "k a fell[ w nev] be damn$ = do+ ! be/ he kn[s h[4' #8,well1 !n1' said ,i1 #8! be/ way ,i "k ( is1 to g home & ?9k & pray ab\t x4' #8,well1' said ,"y1 #8,i %all leave x ) ,bro!r ,joseph1 :e!r x w\ld be be/ = y to h "t or n4' #8,well1' said ,joseph1 #8,i see no h>m 9 h] hav+ "t to ?9k1 if %e w n fall into temptation4' #8,oh sir6' said ,i1 #8!re is no fe> ( my fall+ into temptation4' #8,well1 b1' said ,brigham1 #8y mu/ promise me y w nev] m5tion x to any "o4' #8,i d promise x1' said ,i4 #8,well1' said ,joseph1 #8y mu/ promise me ! same4' ,i promis$ him ! same4 #8,^u y\r hon\r1' said he1 #8y w n tell4' #8,no1 sir2 ,i w lose my life fir/1' said ,i4 #8,well1 t w d1' said he2 #8t is ! pr9ciple we g ^u4 ,i ?9k ,i c tru/ y1 ,m>?a1' said he4 #8,yes1' said ,i1 #8,i ?9k y ought4' ,joseph said1 #8,%e looks z if %e c\ld keep a secret4' ,i !n rose to g1 :5 ,joseph comm5c$ to beg ( me aga94 ,he said x 0 ! be/ opportunity !y might h = mon?s1 = ! room 0 (t5 engag$4 ,i1 h[ev]1 _h det]m9$ :at to d4 #8,well1' said ,"y1 #8,i w see y to-morr[4 ,i am go+ to prea* at ! s*ool-h\se opposite y\r h\se4 ,i h nev] prea*$ !re yet2 y w be !re1 ,i suppose4' #8,yes1' said ,i4 ,! next day be+ ,sunday1 ,i sat d[n1 in/ead ( go+ to meet+1 & wrote ! conv]sation1 & gave x to my si/]1 :o 0 n a little surpris$2 b %e said x w\ld be be/ to g to ! meet+ 9 ! aft]noon4 ,we w5t1 & ,"y adm9i/]$ ! sacram5t4 ,aft] x 0 ov]1 ,i 0 pass+ out1 & ,"y /opp$ me1 say+1 #8,wait1 ,m>?a2 ,i am com+4' ,i said1 #8,i _c2 my si/] is wait+ = me4' ,he !n ?rew 8 coat ov] 8 %\ld]s1 & foll[$ me out1 & :isp]$1 #8,h y made up y\r m9d1 ,m>?a8' #8,n exactly1 sir1' said ,i2 & we p>t$4 ,i %all proce$ to a ju/ice ( ! peace1 & make oa? to ! tru? ( ^! /atem5ts1 & y are at lib]ty to make :at use ( !m y may ?9k be/4 8,y\rs respectfully1 8,,m>?a ,a4 ,,bro!rton4 8,sworn to & describ$ be=e me1 ?is #ac? day ( ,july1 ,a4,d4 #ahdb4 8,,du ,,b\ffay ,,fremon1 8,ju/ice ( ! ,peace = ,/4 ,l\is ,c\nty40 ,,*apt] ,,xxiv4 ,,! ,,orig9 ,,( 8,,! ,,re=mation30--,,extraord9>y ,,do+s ,,( ,,! ,,sa9ts4 ,! popul> idea ( ,mormonism is t ! peculi> feature :i* di/+ui%es x f all o!r ,*ri/ian sects is ,polygamy4 ,to a c]ta9 ext5t ?is is1 ( c\rse1 true2 b x is only a p>tial /atem5t ( ! tru?4 ,if ,polygamy 7 to be rel9qui%$1 x w\ld /ill be f\nd t ,mormonism _h really v little 9 common ) o!r sects1 & v mu* t 0 completely antagoni/ic to !m4 ,! confession ( fai? publi%$ by ,joseph ,smi? dur+ 8 lifetime w\ld c]ta9ly deceive an un9itiat$ p]son2 & x 0 9 consequ5ce ( ! ambiguity ( t v docum5t t s _m unsuspect+ p]sons 7 f ! beg9n+ ( ,mormonism l$ a/ray by ! tea*+s ( ! ,mission>ies4 ,! conv]t 0 told t ! ,mormon fai? proclaim$ ! exi/5ce ( "o true ,god1 b he 0 n told t ,fa!r ,adam 0 t deity1 & t he is 8l a well-to-d f>m]40 ,he 0 told t ,*ri/ 0 ! ,son ( ,god1 b he 0 n taught t ! ,virg9 ,m>y 0 8! lawful wife ( ,god ! ,fa!r10 & t 8,he int5d$ aft] ! resurrection to take h] aga91 z "o ( ,8 own wives1 to raise up immortal spirits 9 et]nity4 ,he 0 told ( fai? 9 a ,savi\r1 he 0 n told t m5 7 ! only savi\rs ( _! wives1 & t unless a woman pleas$ h] husb&1 & 0 ob$i5t & 0 sav$ by him1 %e c\ld n be sav$ at all4 ,he 0 told t ! ,sa9ts believ$ 9 ! ,holy ,gho/1 b he 0 n told t 8,! ,holy ,gho/ is a man2 he is "o ( ! sons ( our ,fa!r & our ,god4444 ,y ?9k our ,fa!r & our ,god is n a lively1 sociable1 & *e]ful man2 ,he is "o ( ! mo/ lively m5 t ev] liv$60 ,& yet1 al?\gh su* fe>ful & %ock+ blasphemy 01 ( c\rse1 hidd5 f ! conv]t :om x 0 desirable to impress ) ! idea t ,mormonism 0 only a developm5t ( ,*ri/ianity1 x 0 op5ly taught 9 ! s]mons 9 ! ,tab]nacle be=e ?\s&s ( p1 & inculcat$ 9 ! writ+s ( ! highe/ au?orities4 ,! passages :i* ,i h j quot$1 7 prea*$ 9 public1 7 tak5 d[n 9 %or?& 7 revis$ "u ! sup]9t5d5ce ( ,brigham ,"y or "o ( ! *ief lead]s1 7 !n pr9t$ & publi%$ 9 ,salt ,lake ,city1 & aft]w>ds repr9t$ 9 ano!r =m4 ,! v]bal repetition ( su* blasphemy z ?is w\ld be simply pa9ful & disgu/+ to any "r-m9d$ p]son4 ,i %all !re=e endeav\r to give an idea ( "s ( ^! outrage\s doctr9es )\t ent]+ too closely into details4 ,%\ld ! read]1 h[ev]1 wi% to se>* & see = him self1 ,i ref] him to ! ,j\rnals ( ,disc\rses1 ! files ( ! ,*ur* pap]s1 & ! publications ( ! ,mormon writ]s g5]ally4 ,"o ( ! fir/ innovations ^u ! receiv$ fai? ( ord9>y ,*ri/ians 0 ! doctr9e ( ,poly!ism4 ,!re c be no d\bt t1 ev5 9 ,joseph's "t1 t doctr9e 0 taught1 al?\gh1 z 9 ! case ( ,polygamy1 all k ( x 0 kept f e "o b ! initiat$--! 8/rong m50 :o c\ld be entru/$ ) ! inn] secrets ( ! *ur* lead]s4 ,t su* a doctr9e1 h[ev]1 0 beg9n+1 ev5 !n1 to =m "p ( ! fai? ( ! ,sa9ts1 may be se5 9 ! foll[+ l9es ^u ! occasion ( ! ,prophet's murd]3-- 8,un*ang$ 9 dea?1 ) a ,savi\r's love1 ,he pleads _! cause 9 ! c\rts above4 ,8 home's 9 ! sky1 he dwells ) ! ,gods1 ,f> f ! furi\s rage ( mobs6 444 ,he di$6 he di$ = ^? he lov$2 ,he reigns6 ,he reigns 9 ! realms above40 ,_m o!r in/ances1 ev5 /rong] ?an ?is1 c\ld easily be giv54 ,! ,mormon idea ( ! o!r _w1 :ile 9 "s respects x diff]$ f ! tea*+s ( c]ta9 mod]n 8,spirituali/s10 0 n altoge!r dissimil>4 ,! s\l 0 said to be immortal1 & x _h ?ree /ages ( exi/5ce4 ,! fir/ 0 purely spiritual--! /ate ( ! s\l be=e x came into ?is _w4 ,spirits 9 t condition 7 n p]fect1 !y mu/ fir/ take a fle%ly body1 & pass ?r\gh ! trials ( life1 be=e !y c\ld atta9 to ! highe/ /ate ( exi/5ce4 ,h5ce x 0 a solemn duty1 z well z _! highe/ privilege1 = m5 to practise polygamy3--_! duty1 z by ?is means1 & by ?is alone1 ! yet imp]fect s\ls n[ wait+ to come into ?is _w c\ld ev] hope to be admitt$ into ! 8,cele/ial ,k+dom20--& a privilege1--z all ! s\ls :om !y ?us assi/$ to emigrate w\ld =m _! own 8,k+doms0 9 et]nity1 ov] :i*1 z k+s & prie/s1 !y w\ld reign = ev] & ev]4 ,! second /age ( ! s\l's exi/5ce is ! mortal2 ) :i* we all are sadly well acqua9t$4 ,! ?ird is ! condition subsequ5t to ! ,resurrection1 :5 !y believe ! fle% & bones w =m ! rais$ body1 b ! blood w n be !re2 = ! blood is ! pr9ciple ( corrupt life1 & !re=e ano!r _s supplies its place 9 heav54 ,t ,*ri/ p>took ( "s broil$ fi% & "p ( a honeycomb is evid5t f ,holy ,scripture2 ! ,mormons !re=e tea* t heav5 w be v mu* ! same z e>?1 only consid]ably improv$4 ,we %all n m>ry !re or be giv5 9 m>riage2 h5ce x is necess>y = u to m>ry "h1 & to m>ry z mu* z we c1 = !n 9 heav5 a man w take ! wives :om he m>ri$ on e>?1 or :o h be5 seal$ to him by proxy2 !y w be 8 que5s1 & _! *ildr5 w be 8 subjects4 ,we %all eat1 & dr9k1 & fea/1 & sp5d a happy "t g5]ally4 ,we %all h5ce=? nev] die2 h5ce we %all ourselves be gods6 ,x 0 9 ! pre-exi/5t /ate1 ! ,mormons tea*1 t ! "w ( salvation 0 fir/ plann$2 b n aft] ! fa%ion believ$ by all ,*ri/ians4 ,a gr& cele/ial c\ncil 0 held1 at :i* all ! ,sons ( ,god appe>$4 ,mi*ael1 ! fa!r ( all1 presid$1 & /at$ t he propos$ to create a new _w1 ( :i* he proce$$ to give "s details4 ,8 fir/ begott5 !n arose1 & made a spee*1 9 :i* he propos$ t ,mi*ael1 8 fa!r1 %\ld g d[n to ! _w1 :5 creat$1 ) ,eve1 8 "m1 & d !re mu* aft] ! fa%ion ( :at is relat$ ( our fir/ p>5ts 9 ! ,book ( ,g5esis2 he himself w\ld desc5d "s ?\s&s ( ye>s subsequ5tly1 & w\ld lead 8 err+ bre?r5 back1 & save !m f _! s9s4 ,lucif]1 ! second son1 !n /ood =? & unfold$ 8 plan4 ,jeal\s ( ! popul>ity ( 8 eld] bro!r1 he propos$ to save m5 9 _! s9s4 ,great discussion ensu$1 9 :i* ! unnumb]$ family ( heav5 divid$ into ?ree p>ties2 "o "u ea* ( ! two eld] sons1 & ! ?ird /&+ neutral4 ,aft] a t]rible conflict1 ,lucif]1 ! second son1 0 defeat$1 &1 ) all 8 foll[]s1 0 driv5 out ( heav54 ,!y desc5d$ into ! abyss1 :]e !y f\nd$ ! inf]nal k+dom1 ( :i* ,lucif] became ! *ief4 ,he 0 h5ce=? kn[n z ! ,devil4 ,adam creat$ 8 _w1 & c>ri$ out 8 "p ( ! plan2 & 9 due "t ! elde/ son1 :o conqu]$ 9 heav51 took ^u him ! =m ( fle%1 dwelt among m51 & 0 kn[n z _! ,r$eem]4 ,! spirits :o /ood neutral dur+ ! fight subsequ5tly took ^u !m =ms ( fle%1 ent]+ into ! *ildr5 ( ,ham1 & 7 kn[n z negroes4 ,!re=e x is1 t al?\gh ! ,am]ican ,indians & all o!r races are eligible = ! ,mormon prie/hood1 ! negro alone c\ld nev] atta9 to t high dignity4 ,on ! #i? ( ,april1 #aheb1 ,brigham ,"y publicly ann\nc$ t1-- 8,:5 our fa!r ,adam came into ! ,g>d5 ( ,ed51 he came into x ) a cele/ial body1 & br\ght ,eve1 "o ( 8 wives1 ) him4 ,he help$ to make & organize ?is _w4 ,he is ,mi*ael ! ,ar*angel1 ! ,anci5t ( ,days1 ab\t :om holy m5 h writt5 & spok54 ,he is our #8,fa!r & our ,god1' & ! only god ) :om we h to d40 ,?is public decl>ation gave great (f5ce1 & l$ to ! apo/acy ( _m4 ,nev]!less1 ,brigham ,"y ?9ks t j z ,adam came d[n to ,ed5 & subsequ5tly became a god1 9 l mann] he also himself w atta9 to ! godhead4 ,heb] ,c4 ,kimball1 zeal\s to g a /ep fur!r1 decl>$ t ,brigham 0 8,god10 & t he1 ,kimball1 /ood t[>d him 9 ! same relation z ! ,?ird ,p]son 9 ! ,bless$ ,tr9ity does t[>ds ! ,fir/4 ,x w h5ce be se5 t subord9ation is "o ( ! fir/ pr9ciples ( ! ,mormon fai?1 & ?is ev5 9 ! ,*ur* organization ( ! ,sa9ts has be5 di/9ctively %[n4 ,= ! purposes = :i* x exi/s ! ,mormon hi]>*y c\ld n be surpass$4 ,( ! ,prie/hood !re are two ord]s--! ,mel*is$ec & ! ,a>onic2 ( :i* ! =m] ranks fir/ & highe/4 ,! l[e/ rank 9 ! ,*ur* is ! 8,deacon20 he looks aft] ! places ( meet+1 takes up collections1 & att5ds to o!r simil> duties4 ,next comes ! 8,tea*]40 ,he visits ! ,sa9ts & takes note ( _! /&+1 & reports ! same3 weakness ( fai?1 or backw>dness 9 pay+ ti?+1 is nev] ov]look$ by him4 ,aft] him is ! 8,prie/10 & above him is ! ,eld] ^: (fice x is to prea*1 baptize1 & lay on h&s4 ,all ^! belong to ! ord] ( ! ,a>onic--or ! ,levitical prie/hood4 8,bi%ops0 are simply ,*ur* (fic]s hav+ local jurisdiction4 ,! l[e/ grade 9 ! ,mel*is$ec ,prie/hood is ! 8,eld]40 ,he adm9i/]s 9 all ! ord9ances ( ! ,*ur*4 ,above him !re is no high] rank z respects ! prie/hood1 b 9 respect to (fice !re are v>i\s gradations1 z1 = example1 ! 8,high ,prie/s10 ! 8,sev5ties10 & 8,bi%ops10 :o occupy positions ( au?ority1 al?\gh bo? g on missions1 & also ! ,apo/les4 ,! 8,apo/les0 7 *os5 9 imitation ( ! 8,twelve0 appo9t$ by ,*ri/2 & 9 ! same way ! 8,sev5ties10 9 imitation ( ! sev5ty disciples s5t =? to prea* & "w miracles4 ,!y claim rank next to ! ,twelve4 ,! 8,quorum ( ! ,apo/les0 is presid$ ov] by ! elde/ ( _! numb]2 ! 8,quorums ( ,sev5ties0 are ea* compos$ ( sev5ty ,eld]s ) a 8,presid5t0 & six 8,c\nsellors40 ,! numb] ( 8quorums0 is unlimit$2 & ov] !m all collectively is ano!r presid5t & six c\nsellors4 ,! highe/ au?ority 9 ! ,*ur* is ! 8,fir/ ,presid5cy20 ! ?ree memb]s ( :i* at pres5t are ,brigham ,"y1 ,george ,a4 ,smi?1 & ,daniel ,h4 ,wells1--:o are said to repres5t on e>? ! ?ree ,p]sons ( ! ,bless$ ,tr9ity6 ,z1 f 8,presid5t0 ,"y d[n to ! mo/ illit]ate 8,eld]10 e "o is suppos$ to be specially inspir$1 & to be imm$iately guid$ by ! gift ( ! ,holy ,gho/1 education is utt]ly unnecess>y to ! memb]s ( ! ,mormon prie/hood2 9 fact1 x has always be5 look$ ^u z an imp$im5t to its possessor4 ,ob$i5ce is consid]$ ! highe/ qualification1 & x 0 ! /rict en=cem5t ( ob$i5ce on ! "p ( ! ord9>y p & ! l[] grades ( ! prie/hood t[>ds ! high] t alone c\ld h made possible t /ate ( affairs :i* exi/$ dur+ ! 8,re=mation40 ,h5ce also x is t ,brigham ,"y & ! lead]s are rightly held responsible = ! de$s ( viol5ce & fanaticism :i* _! foll[]s may p]petrate2 = x is well kn[n t no ,mormon1 9 a matt] ( grave importance1 w\ld d>e to act ^u 8 own responsibility1 & )\t he felt sure t :at he did w\ld meet ) ! approbation ( ^? 9 au?ority4 ,!re is ano!r class ( ,*ur* (fic] :i* ,i _h v ne>ly =gott5--! ,patri>*s4 ,! *ief ( ^! is call$ 8,! ,presid+ ,patri>* ov] ! ,*ur*20 ! re/ are 8,patri>*s 9 ! ,*ur*40 ,! (fice ( ^! dignit>ies is to bless ! p & to be paid = _! bless+s4 ,! price ( good bless+s is v>iable4 ,n long ago1 :5 money 0 sc>ce & paym5ts 7 made 9 produce1 two doll>s 0 consid]$ reasonable2 & if sev]al 7 want$ = ! same family1 a r$uction 0 made4 ,hyrum ,smi?1 ! orig9al ,prophet's elde/ bro!r1 0 ! fir/ ,patri>*2 & to him succe$$ 8,uncle ,john10 z he 0 popul>ly call$1 ! elde/ bro!r ( ,brigham4 ,! pres5t ,patri>* is ! son ( ,hyrum2 /ill a "y man1 :o obta9$ 8 (fice by inh]itance--& ?is1 ,i believe1 is ab\t ! only (fice 9 ! ,*ur* :i* ,bro!r ,brigham has p]mitt$ ! ,smi? family to inh]it or enjoy4 ,! idea ( reviv+ ! old ,jewi% polity 0 always upp]mo/ 9 ! m9ds ( ! ,mormons4 ,h5ce !y reviv$ ! ,prie/hood & ,high-prie/hood 9 _! v>i\s =ms2 a magnific5t temple 0 built 9 ,nauvoo1 j z ano!r temple is n[ be+ erect$ at ,salt ,lake ,city2 & s f> did !y g t x 0 ev5 det]m9$ t ! anci5t sacrifices %\ld ev5tually be re/or$4 ,x is alleg$ t 9 ,nauvoo1 among ! ,mormons1 a secret body ( m5 _h be5 *os51 :o 7 enroll$1 "u ! mo/ frightful oa?s1 to av5ge e wrong :i* might be p]petrat$ aga9/ ! ,sa9ts4 ,?is b& 0 said to h orig9at$ ) ,sidney ,rigdon & ,dr4 ,sampson ,av>d1 &1 z ,i h some:]e else m5tion$1 ,?omas ,b4 ,m>% & ,hyde ! pres5t *ief ( ! ,apo/les bo? made affidavit t su* 0 ! case1 & t ! b& 0 sworn to commit ! mo/ %ock+ acts ( v5geance1--& surely ,m>% & ,hyde ought to "k4 ,v>i\s names 7 *os5 = ?is 8dea? society40 ,fir/ ! memb]s 7 call$ ,daught]s ( ,zion f ,micah iv4 #ac4 ,b z x s\nd$ r ridicul\s to speak ( be>d$ ruffians z 8daught]s10 t "n 0 ab&on$1 & ! title 8,av5g+ ,angels0 sub/itut$2 & t1 ) "s o!r names !n tempor>ily us$1 7 subsequ5tly dropp$ = ! "n 8,danites0 f ,g5esis xlix4 #ag1 :i* has s9ce be5 reta9$2--n by ! ,mormons1 = !y h ev] d5i$ ! exi/5ce ( any su* b&1 b by ! ,g5tiles4 ,x matt]s v little :at ! "n ( su* a society might be1 s long z x exi/$ at all2 & t x does1 & has1 exi/$ 9 "s =m _c reasonably be d5i$4 ,!re probably is n at ! pres5t "t any =mally enroll$ society1 b x is q c]ta9 t = _m ye>s pa/ if 8,! ,*ur*0 _h only dropp$ a h9t t any man's blood ought to be %$1 t man w\ld h _h a v %ort t5ure ( 8 life4 ,ev5 ,brigham himself said publicly3 8,if m5 come "h & d n behave !mselves1 !y w n only f9d ! ,danites1 :om !y talk s mu* ab\t1 bit+ ! horses' heels1 b ! sc\ndrels w f9d some?+ bit+ _! heels4 ,9 my pla9 rem>ks ,i simply call ?+s by _! own names40 ,x is beyond a d\bt t1 not)/&+ all ! social *anges & improvem5ts ( late ye>s1 ! secret police ( ,salt ,lake ,city are 9 matt]s ( crime1 z well z 9 fact1 ?\gh n p]haps nom9ally1 ! successors ( ! orig9al 8dea? society20--_m ( its memb]s are kn[n to h committ$ griev\s crimes & to h repeat$ly dy$ _! h&s 9 blood4 ,! %ock+ de$s t e n[ & !n are divulg$ to ! _w are all ( _! do+1 & no resid5t ( ,salt ,lake ,city1 :e!r ,mormon or ,g5tile1 al?\gh he might prud5tly decl9e to /ate 8 op9ions1 w\ld 9 8 m9d "q ! fact t x is fe> ( consequ5ces1 & only because ! ,sa9ts are 8on _! good behavi\r0 9 ! sight ( ! ,f$]al ,gov]nm5t1 t ! h&s ( ^! wret*es are )held f a cont9uance ( _! old enormities4 ,z might be suppos$1 ! e/abli%m5t ( a secret b& ( m5 pr(ess$ly ready at a mom5t to /eal1 to %$ blood1 or commit any crime at ! comm& ( _! lead]s1 creat$ great excitem5t 9 ! :ole ,/ate ( ,miss\ri1 & especially 9 ! vic9ity ( ! ,mormon ,settlem5ts4 ,l ! ,i%maelites ( old1 ! h&s ( ! ,sa9ts 7 aga9/ e man1 & e man's h& 0 aga9/ !m4 ,!y 7 taught t !y 7 8a *os5 nation1 a royal prie/hood1 a peculi> p0--! 8,sword ( ! ,"l & ( ,gideon0 0 to be !irs2 !y 7 to g =? conqu]+ & to conqu]2 & ! ,g5tiles 7 to be trodd5 d[n b5ea? _! feet4 ,z might be expect$1 tr\ble imm$iately arose2 ! p ( ,miss\ri outrag$ ! ,mormons1 & ! ,mormons 9 return outrag$ !m4 ,murd]s1 !fts1 & ! mo/ %ameful atrocities 7 ( daily occurr5ce1 & ! hi/ory ( ^? t]rible do+s w\ld fill a good-siz$ volume4 ,suffice x to say1 t ! excitem5t cont9u$ & increas$1 reprisals be+ made on bo? sides2 f9ally ! mob 0 triumphant1 & aft] committ+ _m fe>ful excesses x 0 organiz$ into a militia--! lead+ m5 9 au?ority decl>+ t ! ,mormons mu/ ei!r leave ! ,/ate or else !y mu/ be extirpat$ by ! sword4 ,not)/&+ all ?is1 ! ,mormons1 at all times an indu/ri\s p1 7 9 "o s5se successful & prosp]\s2 ! morality1 h[ev]1 ( "s ( _! lead+ m5 0 to say ! lea/ v que/ionable4 ,x 0 op5ly argu$ t ! silv] & gold 7 ! ,"l's1 & s 7 ! cattle on a ?\s& hills4 ,! ,scripture says t ,god has giv5 ,8 p all ?+s ri*ly to enjoy4 ,! ,sa9ts 7 ! p ( ,god3--,he _h giv5 !m all ! weal? & sub/ance ( ! e>?1 & !re=e x 0 no s9 = !m to help !mselves2 !y 7 b tak+ _! own4 ,to ov]rea* or defraud _! enemies 0 faceti\sly call$ by ! ,mormons 8milk+ ! ,g5tiles40 ,_! city call$ ,nauvoo--,! ,beautiful1--a "n giv5 by ! ,prophet ,joseph & suppos$ to be ( cele/ial orig91 0 well laid out & well built1 a co/ly ,temple 0 ne>ly complete1 & ! lead]s1 at lea/1 began to %[ signs ( weal? & prosp]ity4 ,?is h[ev] 0 b a lull be=e ! /orm4 ,writs ^u v>i\s *>ges aga9/ ,joseph & ! lead+ ,eld]s _h always be5 float+ ab\t1 & ! s]v+ ( "s ( ! lat] ones _h only be5 prev5t$ by te*nical difficulties or ! p]sonal fe>s ( ! ,%]iff4 ,to ent] ,nauvoo = ! purpose ( arre/+ ! ,prophet 0 l be>d+ ! lion 9 8 d52 = by ?is "t a spl5didly equipp$ & drill$ militia regim5ts "u ! "n ( ,nauvoo ,legion _h be5 organiz$1 & ,joseph _h be5 elect$ ,lieut5ant-,g5]al4 ,! regim5t consi/$ solely ( well-tri$ ,mormons :o 7 devot$ly atta*$ to _! lead]2 besides :i*1 ! :ole ( ! population ( ! city 0 at 8 call at a mom5t's notice4 ,into ! city ( ! ,sa9ts1 z f> z 0 possible to prev5t x1 no ,g5tile 0 all[$ to intrude4 ,x 0 at risk ( life & prop]ty t any "o v5tur$4 ,"o oddly orig9al mode ( driv+ out ! devot$ /rang] is wor?y ( m5tion--x 0 call$ 8:ittl+ a man out ( ! t[n60 ,opposite ! victim's door a numb] ( m5 & ov]gr[n boys w\ld take up _! qu>t]s1 ea* arm$ ) a /\t /ick ( wood & a huge knife4 ,no soon] did ! ,g5tile appe> ?an ! :ole horde ga!r$ 9 a circle r\nd him4 ,n a ^w 0 utt]$1 b ea* man grasp+ firmly 8 /ick 9 8 left h&1 po9t$ its o!r end to )9 a few in*es ( ! victim's face1 :ile ) ! knife 9 8 "r h& he slic$ a %av+ out ( ! wood 9 su* a way z to br+ ! po9t ( ! knife almo/ aga9/ ! face ( ! un=tunate man4 ,:]ev] he turn$ !y att5d$ him1 always pres]v+ ! /ricte/ sil5ce1 & nev] actually t\*+ him4 ,! intol]able s5sation caus$ by ! 8:ittl+0 ( ?is /range body-gu>d1 :o 7 9 att5dance day & night1 & ! unpleasantness ( see+ half a score ( %>p knives fla%+ p]petually )9 an in* ( 8 nose1 g5]ally subdu$ ! /ronge/-m9d$ ,g5tile2--few c\ld endure x = m ?an a day or s at ! utmo/3 !y 7 glad to leave--8,:ittl$ out ( ! t[n60 ,! evil day1 h[ev]1 at la/ came4 ,! ,prophet1 fe>+ arre/1 fl$1 b 0 p]suad$ to return & deliv] himself up4 ,! *>ge aga9/ him 0 "o = :i* reasonable bail c\ld be tak52 bail 0 (f]$1 accept$1 & ! prison]s dis*>g$4 ,be=e leav+ c\rt1 h[ev]1 ! ,prophet & 8 bro!r ,hyrum1 ! ,patri>*1 7 arre/$ ^u a trump$-up *>ge ( treason1 a *>ge = :i* x 0 impossible t bail %\ld be tak52 !y 7 !re=e committ$ to cu/ody 9 ,c>?age jail1 "u solemn promise f ,gov]nor ,=d ( ,ill9ois t ! ,/ate %\ld be answ]able = _! p]sonal protection4 ,! same day1 h[ev]1 a mob ( ov] "o hundr$ m51 assi/$1 x is said1 by ! militia :o 7 left 9 *>ge1 bur/ into ! jail & assass9at$ ! ,prophet & 8 bro!r4 ,z might be suppos$1 ?is outrage by no means weak5$ ! ,mormon cause2 _! ,prophet 0 n[ a m>tyr1 & 8 "n became m p[]ful aft] dea? ?an x c\ld possibly h be5 _h he liv$4 ,x 01 h[ev]1 cle>] ?an ev] t no?+ c\ld n[ reconcile ! p ( ,ill9ois to ! ,mormons1 & ! latt] s]i\sly began to ?9k ( leav+ t ,/ate 9 a body z !y _h =m]ly left ,miss\ri4 ,! t]rible do+s ( ^? times ,i h no idea ( relat+ j n[2 ,i simply allude to !m 9 ord] t ! read] may und]/& h[1 9 ! excitem5t produc$ 9 t bord]-w>f>e1 x 0 possible = su* /range ev5ts z aft]w>ds transpir$ 9 ,utah to orig9ate4 ,i may simply add1 t ! ,temple be+ complet$1 & ! fir/ 8,end[m5ts0 giv5 !re1 ! p ga!r$ up :at little prop]ty !y c\ld rescue f ! mob1 & "u ! guidance ( ,brigham ,"y1 & amid/ privations1 suff]+s1 & outrages ( ! mo/ pa9ful "*1 left ! city :i* !y _h f\nd$ 9 ,ill9ois1 & set out = ! ,rocky ,m\nta9s1 :]e1 beside ! ,great ,salt ,lake1 !y f\nd$ _! mod]n ,zion4 ,free n[ f ! viol5ce ( mobs & ,g5tile enmity1 x might h be5 suppos$ t ! hatr$ :i* _h s long be5 "p ( ! ,mormon fai? w\ld h di$ a natural dea?4 ,! contr>y1 h[ev]1 0 ! case4 ,! ,mexican w> 0 !n rag+1 &1 en r\te to ! ,rocky ,m\nta9s1 ! ,mormons _h receiv$ a proposal f ! ,f$]al ,gov]nm5t t !y %\ld supply a regim5t1 ^u highly advantage\s conditions1 to jo9 ! ,unit$ ,/ates troops :i* 7 !n op]at+ 9 ,cali=nia4 ,?is sugge/ion 0 k9dly made1 = x 0 ?\ght t ! ,mormon regim5t ?us rais$ w\ld 9 reality be only m>*+ _! own way 9 go+ to ,cali=nia1 & t ! outfits1 pay1 arms1 c41 :i* 7 to be !irs1 aft] ! ye> = :i* !y 7 enroll$ _h expir$1 w\ld be ( ess5tial s]vice to !m4 ,x 0 l pay+ m5 lib]ally = mak+ a j\rney = _! own b5efit4 ,not)/&+ all ?is1 ,brigham ,"y & ! lead]s repres5t$ ! transaction 9 q ano!r light1 & ! p 7 taught t an engagem5t1 into :i* !y _h ent]$ ( _! own free w1 & f :i* !y _h d]iv$ sub/antial advantages1 0 an act ( he>tless cruelty & despotic tyranny on ! "p ( ! ,gov]nm5t4 ,?is feel+ 0 fo/]$1 until at l5g? ! ,sa9ts z a body reg>d$ !mselves z a wrong$ & outrag$ p1 & consid]$ e ,g5tile1 9 fact ! :ole nation1 z _! natural enemies4 ,?is 0 p]haps all ! m s+ul>1 s9ce1 aft] ! va/ tract ( c\ntry1 ( :i* ,utah =ms a "p1 _h1 at ! end ( ! w>1 be5 wre/$ f ,mexico1 ,brigham ,"y _h be5 appo9t$ by ,presid5t ,mill>d ,fillmore ! fir/ ,gov]nor & ,indian ,ag5t ( ! t]ritory2 he 0 !re=e 9 ,f$]al pay1 & b\nd1 z long z he reta9$ (fice1 to support ! ,gov]nm5t1 or at ! v lea/ n to /ir up disaffection4 ,tr\ble soon arose betwe5 ,gov]nor ,"y & ! ,mormons on "o side & ! ,judges & ,unit$ ,/ates c\rts & (ficials on ! o!r4 ,once an arm$ mob bur/ into ! ,supreme ,c\rt1 & =c$ ! ,judge !n sitt+ to adj\rn2 at ano!r "t a bonfire 0 made ( ! books & pap]s ( ! ,di/rict ,c\rts2 !n a ,judge on ! b5* 0 ?reat5$ ) p]sonal outrage2 & subsequ5tly a posse summon$ by legal767 process 8encamp$0 = a :ole =tnight ov] aga9/ ano!r posse summon$ )\t legal process1 ! two bodies burn+ ) bitt] hatr$ & brea?+ out ?reat5+s & slaught]4 ,su* a /ate ( affairs c\ld n1 ( c\rse1 la/ long4 ,on ! "o side ! wilde/ /atem5ts 7 publicly made aga9/ ! ,gov]nm5t2 ?reats :i*1 utt]$ by a little b& ( pione]s aga9/ a mighty nation1 7 p]fectly ridicul\s1 /irr$ up ! he>ts ( ! ,sa9ts4 ,on ! o!r h& x 0 pretty c]ta9 t ,f$]al troops w\ld h to be s5t out to ,utah to pres]ve ! peace ( ! ,t]ritory4 ,! ,f$]al ,gov]nm5t 0 nev]!less defi$1 abus$1 & d]id$1 & ! p1 ?or\ghly bl9d$ by _! fanaticism1 did n = a mom5t d\bt t1 %\ld ,gov]nor ,"y 8decl>e w>10 ! ,unit$ ,/ates troops w\ld vani% be=e ! 8,armies0 ( ! ,sa9ts l *aff ^u ! ?re%+-floor4 ,s absurd does all ?is appe> t ,i %\ld really h>dly v5ture to repeat x 7 x n t e "o 9 ,utah--,mormon & ,g5tile--kn[s t ,i am really und]/at+ facts r ?an o!rwise4 ,v soon came a crisis 9 ,mormon hi/ory1 = :i* all ! wild say+s & unlawful do+s _h be5 s long pav+ ! way3--8,,! ,,re=mation0 0 de/9$ to be ! cr[n+ po9t ( ,sa9tly folly & ,sa9tly s94 ,,*apt] ,,xxv4 ,,! 8,,reign ,,( ,,t]ror0 ,,9 ,,utah3--,,! ,,re=mation ,,( ,,! ,,sa9ts4 ,! p 7 n[ ?or\ghly excit$4 ,_! religi\s antipa?y1 _! political hatr$--two ( ! mo/ p[]ful passions :i* move individuals or bodies ( m5--_h be5 appeal$ to1 & bo? 9 public & private !y _h be5 /irr$ up to a pit* ( fr5zy :i* x is h>dly possible at ! pres5t "t to compreh5d4 ,!re 7 :isp]+s n[ ( a mo/ fe>ful doctr9e1 calculat$ n only to /rike t]ror into ! he>ts ( ^? ^: fai? 0 weak5+1 b ev5 to %ock ) a s5se ( horror ^? :o only he>d ( x f af>--,i mean ! doctr9e ( ! ,,blood ,,atonem5t4 ,! ,sa9ts _h all along be5 taught to di/+ui% betwe5 murd] & ! %$d+ ( innoc5t blood--! =m] be+ spok5 ( z a crime = :i* atonem5t might be made1 b = ! latt] !re 0 no rep5tance on e>?--x 0 an unp>donable s94 ,!y 7 also taught to di/+ui% c>efully betwe5 s9s :i* might be =giv51 & s9s = :i* p>don 0 impossible4 ,n[ ! diff]5ce betwe5 murd] & %$d+ innoc5t blood is ?is3--! latt] is ! crime ( kill+ a ,sa9t1 :i* c nev] be =giv51 b by ! dea? ( ! transgressor2 b ! =m] is ( q a diff]5t "*4 ,to murd] a ,g5tile may sometimes be inexp$i5t1 or p]haps ev5 to a c]ta9 ext5t wrong1 b x is seldom if ev] a crime1 & nev] an unp>donable s94 ,a fri5d ( m9e 0 9 a /ate ( apo/acy4 ,! ,bi%op w5t to h] to expo/ulate1 & told h] t1 if he 7 h] husb&1 he w\ld get rid ( h] & take away h] *ildr5 z well--he w\ld n on any acc\nt live ) h]4 8,p]haps10 %e said1 8y w\ld n all[ me to live at all80 8,c]ta9ly n10 he repli$4 8,i w\ld ?9k ab\t z mu* ( kill+ y or any o!r mis]able ,apo/ate z ,i w\ld ab\t kill+ a cat4 ,if ,brigham ,"y 7 to tell me to put y to dea?1 ,i w\ld d x ) ! greate/ ( pleasure2--& x w\ld be = y\r good1 too40 ,?us1 :5 ! fam\s ,revelation on ,polygamy says t a man _c be p>don$ = %$d+ innoc5t blood1 x does n mean t he _c be p>don$ = murd]+ a ,g5tile or an ,apo/ate2 = t1 "u "s circum/ances1 might ev5 be m]itori\s2 b t ! murd] ( a ,sa9t by "o ( ! bre?r5 _c "u any circum/ances be =giv5 on e>?1 & t 8 only *ance ( =giv5ess lies 9 8 own blood be+ %$ z an 8atonem5t40 ,c]ta9 s9s _c be =giv5 "h on e>?--%$d+ innoc5t blood1 divulg+ ! secrets ( ! ,end[m5t ,h\se--m>ital unfai?fulness on ! "p ( ! wife--,apo/acy2--^! are unp>donable4 ,all o!r crimes :i* ,g5tiles abhor may become ev5 virtues1 if done 9 ! cause ( ! ,*ur*4 ,i d n1 ( c\rse1 mean to say t ! mass ( ! ,mormon p act up to su* atroci\s doctr9es2 = al?\gh1 :5 among !mselves1 !y w\ld admit t ! !ory 0 correct1 ! bett] in/9cts ( _! nature keep !m f ev] putt+ t !ory into practice4 ,b :at ,i d mean to say is1 t su* doctr9es h1 ov] & ov] aga91 be5 di/9ctly taught 9 ! pla9e/ words 9 ! public he>+ ( ?\s&s2 t !y h be5 pr9t$ & repr9t$ by au?ority2 t !y h be5 practis$1 & ! v highe/ ( ! ,mormon lead]s h applaud$2 & t1 ev5 at ! pres5t mom5t1 ^! doctr9es =m "p ( ! dogmas ( ! ,*ur*4 ,x is ?is day a matt] ( fact1 & n a matt] ( "q1 t if any ,mormon ,apo/ate 7 to commit any ( ! unp>donable s9s :i* ,i h m5tion$1 & if he or %e 7 to be assass9at$ by a private individual1 all zeal\s ,mormons--all ! lead]s--w\ld ma9ta9 t n only 0 ! de$ ju/ifiable b ev5 m]itori\s6 ,?is may seem bad en\gh1 b x is n ! wor/4 ,! doctr9e ( ! 8,,blood ,,atonem5t0 is t ! murd] ( an ,apo/ate is a de$ ( love6 ,if a ,sa9t sees ano!r leave ! ,*ur*1 or if ev5 he only believes t 8 bro!r's fai? is weak5+ & t he w apo/atize be=e long1 he kn[s t ! s\l ( 8 unbeliev+ bro!r w be lo/ if he dies 9 su* a /ate1 & t only by 8 blood be+ %$ is !re any *ance ( =giv5ess = him2 x is !re=e ! k9de/ action t he c p]=m t[>d him to %$ 8 blood--! do+ s is a de$ ( true/ love4 ,! ne>]1 ! de>]1 ! m t5d]ly lov$ ! s9n] is1 ! great] ! affection %[n by ! %$d] ( blood--! action is no long] murd] or ! %$d+ ( innoc5t blood1 = ! ta9t ( apo/acy takes away its innoc5ce--x is mak+ atonem5t1 n a crime2 x is an act ( m]cy1 !re=e m]itori\s4 ,^! 7 ! t]rible tea*+s :i* ! 8,re=mation0 br\ght to light3--!y _h be5 :isp]$ be=e among ! elect1 & _h be5 act$ ^u by ! 8,av5g+ ,angels10 b be=e ?is !y _h nev] be5 publicly & intelligibly expla9$4 ,j$$iah ,m4 ,grant1 an en?usia/ ( ! wilde/ k9d2 a man )\t education or m5tal discipl9e ( any description2 "o ( ! ,fir/ ,presid5cy & high 9 au?ority among ! ,sa9ts1 _h occasion to att5d a meet+ :i* 0 held at ,kaysville1 a place ab\t tw5ty-five miles di/ant f ,salt ,lake ,city1 & he invit$ "s ( ! ,eld]s to meet him !re to take "p 9 ! proce$+s4 ,to "o ( ^! 8,j$dy10 z he 0 famili>ly call$1 oblig+ly l5t a mule2 he himself did n accompany ! p>ty1 b w5t on be=e4 ,^! eld]s 7 pretty well m\nt$1 & "o ( !m1 be+ a good horseman1 made ! re/ keep up ) him4 ,9 consequ5ce ( ?is1 :5 !y arriv$ at ,kaysville1 ! bea/s 7 heat$ & tir$4 ,! ,apo/le 8,j$dy0 wat*$ !m b said no?+4 ,up to a c]ta9 po9t1 ! meet+ pass$ (f pleasantly en\gh2 ! ,eld]s pres5t 7 8good at te/imony0 & /rong 9 exhort+ ! he>]s to fai?fulness4 ,j$dy 0 ! la/ speak]4 ,he began 9 8 usual way1 b pres5tly w>m$ up until he became q excit$1 & !n proce$$ to accuse e "o pres5t ( all sorts ( wrong-do+4 ,! ,eld]s :o _h prec$$ him came 9 = _! full %>e2 he d5\nc$ !m = _! inconsi/5cy & hypocrisy1 & bitt]ly upbraid$ !m = runn+ 8 mule & _! own bea/s 9 su* a mann]4 ,! ,bi%op ( ! place & 8 c\nsellors he accus$ ( inactivity & c>elessness2 & he call$ l\dly ^u e "o pres5t to rep5t & d _! fir/ works2 ?reat5+ !m ) ! spe$y judgm5ts ( ,heav54 ,all ?is 0 well en\gh if x _h /opp$ !re1 = x might h be5 tak5 = j :at x 0--an ebullition ( temp] on ! "p ( 8,j$dy10 :o 0 naturally vex$ t 8 mule _h be5 ov]-heat$4 ,b1 l _m o!r manias & epidemics1 ?is ,mormon movem5t began ) a mo/ insignificant trifle1 & ! _s ( fi]y d5unciation became p]fectly contagi\s4 ,ano!r meet+ 0 held 9 ! c\rse ( a few weeks1 & !n ! mutual accusations ( ^? :o 7 pres5t became1 if possible1 m bitt] ?an be=e2 ! 8,sa9ts0 7 d5\nc$ z ! vile/ ( s9n]s1 & !y 7 all comm&$ to be re-baptiz$4 ,accord+ly1 aft] ! meet+1 al?\gh x 0 night & ! wea!r 0 cold1 a consid]able numb] 7 imm]s$ by ! ,eld]s1 & ,j$dy himself 0 s en?usia/ically engag$ 9 ! p]=mance1 & he rema9$ 9 ! wat] s long t he got a ?or\gh *ill1 & contract$ ! disease ( :i* he di$4 ,sunday aft] ,sunday simil> sc5es 7 repeat$ 9 ! ,tab]nacle1 until1 _h x n be5 pa9ful1 ! :ole affair w\ld h be5 ludicr\s 9 ! extreme4 ,e "o _h /ray$ f ! pa? ( duty1 & ! fact 0 ann\nc$ 9 ! /ronge/ t]ms4 ,p 7 call$ ^u by "n to publicly confess _! s9s1 & _m 7 !n & !re po9t$ out & accus$ ( crimes ( :i* !y 7 entirely guiltless1 b :i* !y d>$ n d5y4 ,9 ! mid/ ( all ?is1 ! duty ( implicit ob$i5ce to ! ,prie/hood & ! paym5t ( ti!s 0 l\dly insi/$ ^u4 ,! ,mission>ies 7 s5t out all ov] ! t]ritory1 arm$ ) ! full au?ority ( ! ,prie/hood1 & also a cate*ism :i*1 on acc\nt ( its obsc5e "*1 has s9ce be5 b\ght up s successfully by ,brigham t x is d\btful if !re is a copy 9 exi/5ce4 ,! ,mormons h a curi\s way ( appo9t+ ,mission>ies4 ,if a man is weak 9 ! fai?--a deprav$1 bad man--or if a y\? exhibits a disposition to s[ 8 wild oats a little too luxuriantly1 he is s5t on 8 travels to prea* ! ,gospel2 no?+ /r5g!ns a man's fai?1 x is ?\ght1 m ?an hav+ to def5d x f ! opposition ( unbeliev]s1 & ! en=c$ good example :i* ! ,mission>y is oblig$ to set w1 x is said1 produce a salut>y effect ^u ! exub]ance ( y\? or ! depravity ( m mature ye>s4 ,9 ! pres5t in/ance _m ( ! ,mission>ies ?us s5t =? 7 kn[n to be z immoral z !y 7 grossly ignorant4 ,!re 0 "o t]rible meet+ at :i* ,brigham himself 0 put to ! blu%4 ,m5 ( note 7 !re2 no "o 0 pres5t :o did n belong to ! ,prie/hood4 8,j$dy0 held =?1 & ,heb] & ,brigham 7 /rong ^u ! occasion4 ,9 ! mid/ ( ! proce$+s1 ,bro!r ,brigham1 full ( confid5ce1 9 ! pla9e/ words call$ ^u all :o c\ld n plead guiltless ( c]ta9 crimes to /& up4 ,?ree-f\r?s ( ^? pres5t imm$iately arose4 ,utt]ly %ock$1 ! ,prophet ent]$ into explanations2 b self-convict$ ^! ?ree-f\r?s ( 8 he>]s /ood consci5ti\sly firm4 ,ev5 ,brigham saw ! necessity ( tak+ "s /r+5t measures4 ,! ,sa9ts 7 told t if !y 7 re-baptiz$ _! s9s w\ld be wa%$ away1 & !y c\ld !n say !y 7 n guilty ( ! crimes sugge/$ 9 ! cate*ism4 ,subsequ5tly ! cate*ism itself 01 z ,i said1 b\ght up & burnt4 ,! burd5 ( e s]mon 0 unque/ion+ ob$i5ce1 rep5tance1 paym5t ( ti?+1 & above all ! tak+ ( m wives4 ,! ,mission>ies1 )\t ! slighte/ c]emony1 w\ld visit ! h\ses ( respectable ,sa9ts1 exam9e !m out ( ! abom9able cate*ism1 & "q husb&s & wives 9 ! pres5ce ( _! *ildr5 ab\t ev5 _! v ?\ghts1 9 a mann]1 & ^u subjects1 :i* w\ld amply h ju/ifi$ _! be+ hung up to ! ne>e/ tree2 ,lyn* law 0 9 fact too good = su* atrocities4 ,wick$ ideas1 ! utt]ance ( :i* w\ld h call$ =? a blu%1 ev5 if he>d f ! lips ( a drunk5 r[dy 9 a pot-h\se1 7 sugge/$ & expla9$ to "y *ildr52 :ile x w\ld h be5 lit]ally at ! risk ( life = _! p>5ts to h expo/ulat$2 to d s w\ld h %[n want ( fai?1 & want ( fai? w\ld h ju/ifi$ "s fanatical sc\ndrel 9 us+ 8 knife or 8 pi/ol = ! lov+ purpose ( cutt+ (f 8 bro!r's s\l f e>? 9 ord] to save x 9 heav56 ,mean:ile ,j$$iah did n = a mom5t cease 8 exhortations2 ! "w mu/ be done ?or\ghly3 ! ,blood-,atonem5t mu/ n be =gott54 ,on "o occasion1 9 ! ,tab]nacle1 ?is crazy fanatic said3-- 8,i w\ld advise "s ( y m5 "h to g to ,presid5t ,"y1 & confess y\r s9s1 & ask him to take y outside ! city & h y\r blood %$ to atone = y\r s9s40 444 8,!re are m5 & wom5 t ,i w\ld advise to g to ! ,presid5t imm$iately1 & ask him to appo9t a committee to att5d to _! case2 & !n let a place be select$1 & let t committee %$ _! blood4444 8,i w\ld ask h[ _m cov5ant-break]s !re are 9 ?is city & 9 ?is k+dom8 ,i believe t !re are a great _m2 & if !y are cov5ant-break]s1 we ne$ a place designat$ :]e we c %$ _! blood40 444 8,we h be5 try+ long en\gh ) ?is p1 & ,i g 9 = lett+ ! sword ( ! ,almighty be un%ea!d1 n only 9 ^w b 9 de$40 ,le/ he %\ld be mi/ak51 he said3-- 8,:at ought ?is meek p :o keep ! comm&m5ts ( ,god d unto !m8 #8,:y1' says "o1 #8!y ought to pray ! ,"l to kill !m1' ,i want to "k if y w\ld wi% ! ,"l to come d[n & d all y\r dirty "w84444 ,:5 a man prays = a ?+1 he ought to be will+ to p]=m x himself4444 ,putt+ to dea? ! transgressors w\ld exhibit ! law ( ,god1 no matt] by :om x 0 done40 ,heb] ,c4 ,kimball1 ! 8model ,sa9t10 aft] a spee* to ! same effect1 9 :i*1 z usual1 he made use ( ! mo/ disgu/+ language1 add$3-- 8,joseph ,smi? 0 ,god to ! inhabitants ( ! e>? :5 he 0 among u1 & ,brigham is ,god n[60 ,b m %ock+ ?an any o!r 0 ! language ( ,brigham ,"y himself4 ,on ! #ba/ ( ,septemb]1 #ahef1 9 a disc\rse deliv]$ 9 ! ,b[]y1 ,great ,salt ,lake ,city1 & aft]w>ds repr9t$ by au?ority 9 ! ,j\rnals ( ,disc\rses1 vol4 iv41 pp4 #ec-d1 he said3-- 8,! "t is com+ :5 ju/ice w be laid to ! l9e & righte\sness to ! plummet2 :5 we %all take ! old broadsword & ask1 #8,are y = ,god8' & if y are n he>tily on ! ,"l's side1 y w be hewn d[n60 444 8,!re are s9s t m5 commit = :i* !y _c receive =giv5ess 9 ?is _w or 9 t :i* is to come2 & if !y _h _! eyes op5$ to see _! true condition1 !y w\ld be p]fectly will+ to h _! blood spilt ^u ! gr\nd1 t ! smoke !re( might asc5d to ,heav5 z an (f]+ = _! s9s1 & ! smok+ inc5se w\ld atone = _! s9s2 :]eas1 if su* is n ! case1 !y w /ick to !m & rema9 ) !m 9 ! _s _w4 8,i "k1 :5 y he> my bre?r5 tell+ ab\t cutt+ p (f f ! e>?1 t y consid] x is /rong doctr9e2 b x is to save !m1 n to de/roy !m4444 8,i d "k t !re are s9s committ$ ( su* a nature t1 if ! p did und]/& ! doctr9e ( salvation1 !y w\ld tremble because ( _! situation4 ,&1 fur!rmore1 ,i "k t !re are transgressors :o1 if !y knew !mselves1 & ! only condition ^u :i* !y c obta9 =giv5ess1 w\ld beg ( _! bre?r5 to %$ _! blood1 t ! smoke !re( might asc5d to ,god z an (f]+ to appease ! wra? t is k9dl$ aga9/ !m1 & t ! law might h its c\rse4 ,i w say1 fur!r1 ,i h _h m5 come to me & (f] _! lives to atone = _! s9s4 8,x is true t ! blood ( ! ,son ( ,god 0 %$ = s9s ?r\gh ! fall & ^? committ$ by m51 yet m5 c commit s9s :i* x c nev] remit4 ,z x 0 9 anci5t days1 s x is 9 our day2 & ?\gh ! pr9ciples are taught publicly f ?is /&1 /ill ! p d n und]/& !m2 yet ! law is precisely ! same4 ,!re are s9s t c be aton$ = by an (f]+ ^u an alt>1 z 9 anci5t days2 & !re are s9s t ! blood ( a lamb1 ( a calf1 or ( turtle doves _c remit1 b !y mu/ be aton$ = by ! blood ( ! man40 ,"o w\ld h suppos$ t ev5 ,brigham _h n[ rea*$ ! culm9at+ po9t ( horror & blasphemy4 ,b no2--a mon? or s lat] he ev5 surpass$ himself :5 9 a ,tab]nacle s]mon he said3-- 8,:5 w we love our neighb\rs z ourselves8 ,9 ! fir/ place1 ,jesus said t no man hate? 8 own fle%4 ,x is admitt$ by all t e p]son loves himself4 ,n[ if we d rightly love ourselves1 we want to be sav$1 & cont9ue to exi/2 we want to g into ! k+dom :]e we c enjoy et]nity1 & see no m sorr[ nor dea?4 ,?is is ! desire ( e p]son :o believes 9 ,god4 ,n[ take a p]son 9 ?is congregation :o has k ) reg>d to be+ sav$ 9 ! k+dom ( our ,god & our ,fa!r1 & be+ exalt$1 "o :o kn[s & und]/&s ! pr9ciples ( et]nal life1 & sees ! beauties & excell5cy ( ! et]nities be=e him comp>$ ) ! va9 & fooli% ?+s ( ! _w1 & suppose t he is ov]tak5 9 a gross fault1 t he _h committ$ a s9 t he kn[s w deprive him ( t exaltation :i* he desires1 & t he _c atta9 to x )\t ! %$d+ ( 8 blood1 & also kn[s t by hav+ 8 blood %$ he w atone = t s9 & be sav$ & exalt$ ) ! gods1 is !re a man or a woman 9 ?is h\se b w\ld say1 #8,%$ my blood t ,i might be sav$ & exalt$ ) ! gods8' 8,all mank9d love !mselves3 & let ^? pr9ciples b be kn[n by an individual1 & he w\ld be glad to h 8 blood %$4 ,?is w\ld be lov+ ourselves ev5 unto an et]nal exaltation4 ,w y love y\r bro!rs or si/]s likewise :5 !y h a s9 t _c be aton$ = )\t ! %$d+ ( _! blood8 ,w y love t man or woman well en\gh to %$ _! blood8 ,t is :at ,jesus ,*ri/ meant4 ,he nev] told a man or woman to love _! enemies 9 _! wick$ness1 nev]4 ,he nev] meant any su* ?+2 ,8 language is left z x is = ^? to read :o h ! _s to disc]n betwe5 tru? & error2 x 0 s left = ^? :o c disc]n ! ?+s ( ,god4 ,jesus ,*ri/ nev] meant t we %\ld love a wick$ man 9 8 wick$ness4 8,i c\ld ref] y to pl5ty ( in/ances :]e m5 h be5 righte\sly sla9 9 ord] to atone = _! s9s4 ,i h se5 scores & hundr$s ( p = :om !re w\ld h be5 a *ance 79 ! la/ resurrection !re w be7 if _! lives _h be5 tak5 & _! blood spill$ on ! gr\nd z a smok+ inc5se to ! ,almighty1 b :o are n[ angels to ! devil1 until our eld] bro!r1 ,jesus ,*ri/1 raises !m up & conqu]s dea?1 hell1 & ! grave4 8,i h kn[n a great _m m5 :o h left ?is *ur*1 = :om !re is no *ance :atev] = exaltion1 b if _! blood _h be5 spill$ x w\ld h be5 bett] = !m4 8,! wick$ness & ignorance ( ! nations =bid ?is pr9ciple be+ 9 full =ce1 b ! "t w come :5 ! law ( ,god w be 9 full =ce4 ,?is is lov+ our neighb\r z ourselves2 if he ne$s help1 help him2 if he wants salvation1 & x is necess>y to spill 8 blood on ! e>? 9 ord] t he may be sav$1 spill x4 8,any ( y :o und]/& ! pr9ciples ( et]nity1 if y h s9n$ a s9 requir+ ! %$d+ ( blood1 except ! s9 unto dea?1 %\ld n be satisfi$ or re/ until y\r blood %\ld be spill$1 t y might ga9 t salvation y desire4 ,t is ! way to love mank9d4444 ,light & d>kness _c dwell toge!r1 & s x is ) ! k+dom ( ,god4 8,n[1 bre?r5 & si/]s1 w y live y\r religion8 ,h[ _m hundr$s ( times h ,i ask$ t "q6 ,w ! ,latt]-,day ,sa9ts live _! religion80 ,& s1 accord+ to ,brigham ,"y1 _! ,prophet1 ?is 0 ! religion ( ! ,sa9ts6 ,& ! p act$ up to ! 8religion0 ?us taught3 & ! /ory is s t]rible t "o d>e n ev5 :isp] all its details4 ,x is no secret t all ?is 0 und]/ood lit]ally4 ,! wife ( "o ,eld]1 :5 he 0 abs5t on a mission1 act$ unfai?fully t[>ds him4 ,h] husb& took c\nsel ( ! au?orities1 & 0 rem9d$ t ! %$d+ ( h] blood alone c\ld save h]4 ,he return$ & told h]1 b %e ask$ = "t1 :i* 0 readily grant$4 ,"o day1 9 a mom5t ( affection1 :5 %e 0 seat$ on 8 knee1 he rem9d$ h] ( h] doom1 & sugge/$ t n[ :5 _! he>ts 7 full ( love 0 a suitable "t = c>ry+ x into execution4 ,%e acquiesc$1 & out ( love he cut h] ?roat f e> to e>4 ,9 _m in/ances ! outrages committ$ aga9/ p]sons :o 7 kn[n to be innoc5t 7 s revolt+ t no woman--nay1 ev5 no "r-m9d$ man--w\ld v5ture to m ?an j allude to !m4 ,a few1 h[ev]1 & only a few1 & !y by no means ! wor/1 ( ! mild] cases ,i w j m5tion4 ,!re 0 ! murd] ( ! ,aik9 p>ty--six p]sons--:o 7 kill$ on _! way to ,cali=nia4 ,! same ye> a man "n ,yates 0 kill$ "u atroci\s circum/ances2 & ,frankl9 ,mc,neil :o _h su$ ,brigham = false imprisonm5t & :o 0 kill$ at 8 hotel door4 ,!re 0 ,s]geant ,pike1 & !re 0 ,arnold & ,dr[n4 ,!re 0 ,price & ,william ,bryan at ,fairfield2 !re 0 ,almon ,babbitt1 & ,brassfield1 & ,dr4 ,rob9son2 !re 0 also ,james ,c[dy & 8 wife & *ild1 & ,m>getts & 8 wife2 & _m ano!r1 too--to say no?+ ( t frightful murd] at ! ,m\nta9 ,mead[s4 ,besides ^! !re is good reason to ?9k t ,lieut5ant ,gunnison & 8 p>ty 7 also victims1 al?\gh x 0 said t !y 7 %ot by 8,indians40 ,! ,pott] & ,p>ri% murd]s 7 notori\s2 ,=bes1 & ,jones & 8 "m1 might be add$ to ! same li/2 ! dumb boy1 ,&rew ,b]n>d2 a woman kill$ by h] own husb&2 ,morris ! rival ,prophet1 & ,banks1 & f\r wom5 :o belong$ to _! p>ty2 ,isaac ,pott]1 & ,*>les ,wilson1 & ,john ,walk]4 ,^! are b a few4 ,! dea? li/ is too long = me to v5ture to give x4 ,"o in/ance ,i c give f my own p]sonal k4 ,a si/]1 :o occasionally does a little "w at my h\se1 on "o occasion said to me3 8,mrs4 ,/5h\se1 :5 fir/ ,i came to ?is c\ntry ,i liv$ 9 ! s\!rn portion ( ,utah4 ,"o day ,i saw a woman runn+ across ! fields t[>ds our h\se1 pale & trembl+4 ,:5 %e came 9 %e look$ r\nd h] z if %e 7 fright5$1 & %e ask$ if any "o besides our own family 7 pres5t4 ,on be+ assur$ t !re 0 no "o pres5t :om %e might fe>1 %e said3--#8,two m5 came to our h\se late la/ night & ask$ to see my husb&1 :o _h already retir$4 ,he 0 9 b$1 b !y insi/$ t he mu/ get up1 z !y _h a message f 8! au?orities0 = him4 ,:5 !y saw him !y reque/$ him to g ) !m to att5d1 !y said1 to "s ,*ur* bus9ess4 ,i became v mu* al>m$1 = my poor husb& _h be5 kn[n to speak r freely ( late ( "s ( ! measures ( ! ,*ur*1 b he tri$ to reassure me1 & f9ally left ! h\se ) ! two m54 ,9 ab\t an h\r aft] !y came back1 be>+ betwe5 !m 8 lifeless body4 ,!y laid him ^u ! b$1 & !n "o ( !m pull$ aside ! curta9 :i* con/itut$ our only cupbo>d1 & took !refrom a bake-kettle & /ood x beside ! b$1 9 ord] to cat* ! blood t 0 fl[+ f a fe>ful w\nd 9 8 ?roat4 ,!y !n left ! h\se1 tell+ me to make z little noise ab\t x z possible1 or !y might s]ve me 9 ! same way4 ,! m5 7 mask$1 & ,i _c tell :o !y are1 b ,i sp5t a fe>ful night ) my poor dead husb&4'0 ,?is si/] add$3 8,si/] ,/5h\se1 9 ^? m fe>ful times we d>$ n speak to ea* o!r ab\t su* ?+s = fe> ( spies40 ,^! 7 all well-kn[n & notori\s in/ances4 ,i say no?+ ( ^? ( ^: fate no?+--n ev5 a :isp]--0 ev] he>d2 & ,i say no?+ ( ! frightful 8cutt+s (f0 be=e ! ,re=mation & 9 rec5t ye>s4 ,g5tile m5 & wom5 7 kill$1 = hatr$2 & t 8kill+0 0 no murd]1 = !irs 0 n innoc5t blood4 ,apo/ates1 & ,sa9ts ( d\btful fai?1 & ^? :o 7 obnoxi\s1 _h _! blood %$--all = love--& t 8cutt+ (f0 0 also no murd]1 because to secure _! salvation by cutt+ _! ?roats 0 an act ( m]cy4 ,c x be possible t m5 %\ld ?us act & say--& believe--t ,jesus1 ! g5tle & m]ciful ,savi\r1 comm&$ x :5 ,he said3 8,?\ %alt love ?y neighb\r z ?yself08 ,all ?r\gh ?is ,reign ( ,t]ror1 m>ry+ & giv+ 9 m>riage 0 ! ord] ( ! day4 ,x matt]$ n if a man 0 sev5ty ye>s ( age1 accord+ to ,bro!r ,brigham he 0 /ill a boy--8! bre?r5 are all boys until !y are a hundr$ ye>s old0--& "s "y girl ( sixte51 fifte51 or ev5 y\ng] w\ld be 8c\nsell$0--t is1 comm&$--to m>ry him4 ,%e might ev5 h a si/] no old] ?an h]self1 & !n z likely z n he w\ld take ! two to wife1 & v probably bo? on ! same day4 ,! girls 7 told t to m>ry a "y man 0 n a safe ?+1 = "y m5 7 n tri$--x 0 bett] to m>ry a well-te/$ patri>*1 & !n _! *ances ( 8exaltation0 9 ! k+dom ( heav5 7 sure & c]ta94 ,9 ?is way ! life-long happ9ess ( _m a girl--little m ?an a *ild--0 blight$ = ev]4 ,at ! "t ( :i* ,i speak1 e unm>ri$ woman1 or girl :o c\ld by ! utmo/ /ret* ( possibility be ?\ght old en\gh to m>ry1 0 =c$ to f9d a husb&1 or a husb& 0 imm$iately f\nd = h]1 & )\t any reg>d to h] wi%es 0 =c$ ^u h]4 ,"y m51 & ev5 boys1 7 =c$1 n only into m>riage1 b ev5 polygamy1 & none d>$ resi/4 ,! m>ry+ mania1 9 fact1 0 univ]sal & irresi/ible--ev]yone mu/ m>ry or be giv5 9 m>riage4 ,s evid5tly 0 ?is ! case t wom5 9 je/ said t1 if "o 7 to hang a petticoat ^u a f5ce-pole1 half a doz5 m5 w\ld flock at once to m>ry x6 ,absurd z ?is may seem1 x 0 n v f> f ! tru?4 ,"y m5 & maid5s1 old m5 & *ildr51 wid[s1 virg9s1 & y\?s--9 fact1 e "o1 :e!r m>ri$ or unm>ri$1 x matt]$ n1 0 8c\nsell$0--comm&$--to m>ry4 ,!re is above fanaticism a /rong] law :i*1 despite e ef=t ( ! delud$ victim1 w occasionally make itself he>d--! voice ( ,nature4 ,ev5 dur+ t /range "t 9 :i* e ,sa9t seem$ to h gone />k crazy mad1 ! frightful anomaly ( m5 ( fifty1 sixty1 & ev5 sev5ty1 m>ry+ m]e *ildr5--girls ( f\rte51 & ev5 ?irte5--=c$ itself ^u ! att5tion ( "s ( ! lead]s4 ,! "q arose--an odd "q to ,g5tile e>s--8,at :at age is a girl old en\gh to m>ry80 ,consid]able discussion ensu$1 & ev5 9 ! ,tab]nacle ! subject 0 tak5 up4 ,! voice ( au?ority1 h[ev]1 ev5tually answ]$ ! matt]1 b n 9 ! way t any ord9>y civiliz$ p]son w\ld expect4 ,9 ^? times1 unm>ri$ girls 7 v sc>ce--9 ! settlem5ts x 0 difficult to f9d any at all4 ,n infrequ5tly x happ5$ t a bro!r 0 8c\nsell$0 to m>ry1 b c\ld n obey1 z !re 0 no unm>ri$ woman 9 ! place :]e he liv$4 ,9 t case he g5]ally paid a visit to ,salt ,lake ,city4 ,b bus9ess at ! ,end[m5t ,h\se nev]!less 0 pretty lively2 9 fact1 s mu* s t x 0 deem$ necess>y to set ap>t c]ta9 days = ! v>i\s ,settlem5ts4 ,once1 :5 ! 8,provo day0 0 fa/ approa*+1 two old bre?r5 f t t[n :o _h be5 c\nsell$ to enl>ge _! families1 b :o _h be5 unsuccessful 9 f9d+ p>tn]s1 began to despair ( be+ able to obey 8! ^w ( ! ,"l60 ,! day be=e t appo9t$ = ! ,end[m5ts & ,cele/ial ,m>riage arriv$1 & !y 7 z f> f success z ev]4 ,be+ neighb\rs1 ! two old g5tlem5 met & m+l$ _! griefs1 & consid]$ :at might be done4 ,x !n occurr$ to !m t !re 0 a c]ta9 bro!r :o _h two daught]s1 respectively twelve & f\rte5 ye>s ( age1 & !y resolv$ to call ^u him ab\t ^! *ildr54 ,z might be suppos$1 ! fa!r at fir/ refus$ !m1 giv+ z a reason t ! girls 7 too "y4 ,! old m5 expla9$ t if !y c\ld n m>ry ! *ildr5 x 0 impossible = !m to 8obey c\nsel10 & ! fa!r !n agre$4 ,! next morn+ ! m>riage c]emony 0 p]=m$ 9 ! ,end[m5t ,h\se4 ,"o ( ^! wret*es 0 sixty ye>s ( age1 & ! o!r a few ye>s y\ng]4 ,! fa!r ( ! *ildr5 0 ab\t =ty4 ,i am really afraid t ! read] w ?9k t ,i exagg]ate or misrepres5t facts4 ,i wi% x 7 s1 = ! case is s outrage\sly atroci\s2 b ,i am sorry to say t scores & hundr$s ( in/ances simil> to ?is1 :i* occurr$ dur+ ! ,re=mation1 might be giv54 ,!re are be=e me z ,i write1 lett]s1 pap]s1 docum5ts ( v>i\s sorts relative to m>riage & ! matrimonial affairs ( ! ,sa9ts1 at ! "t ( :i* ,i speak1 t ,i wi% ! read] c\ld peep at4 ,i w\ld n l him to read !m--9 fact1 ,i d>$ n read !m all myself1 = "s ( !m are s %ameful t ! m]e k ( hav+ read !m ?r\gh w\ld make any "r-m9d$ p]son blu%4 ,tak+ m wives 0 ! ord] ( ! day--h[1 0 ( little matt]4 ,! "w ( 8,re=mation0 0 9 full progress2 ! p 7 excit$ to fr5zy2 ! ,f$]al troops 7 expect$2 m5 7 m>ry+ & maid5s 7 giv5 9 m>riage2 e "o 9 ,utah 0 look+ =w>d to ! "t :5 ! ,prophecies ( ,joseph1 ! ,se]1 %\ld be fulfill$1 & ! ,son ( ,man %\ld come3--& !n1 :5 "o w\ld h suppos$ t e man w\ld h wi%$ t 8 h&s %\ld be pure1 0 p]petrat$ a de$ :i* is unp>allel$ 9 mod]n civiliz$ times--a de$ at :i* angels & m5 h /ood agha/ ) horror4 ,illu/ration3 ,,bi%op ,,john ,d4 ,,lee1 ,mormon ,comm&] 9 ! ,m\nta9 ,mead[ ,massacre4 ,illu/ration3 ,,john ,,taylor1 ,act+ ,presid5t ( ! ,mormon ,*ur*4 ,born 9 ,we/morel&1 ,engl&1 9 #ahjc4 ,,*apt] ,,xxvi4 ,,! ,,m\nta9 ,,mead[s ,,massacre3--8,i ,,w ,,repay1 ,,sai? ,,! ,,"l40 ,i feel myself utt]ly incompet5t to tell ! /ory ( ! ,m\nta9 ,mead[s ,massacre--x is s %ock+1 s fi5d-l4 ,& yet x mu/ be told4 ,:ile ! "w ( 8,re=mation0 0 go+ on1 & :5 ! ,unit$ ,/ates troops 7 con/antly expect$ 9 ! ,valley ( ! ,great ,salt ,lake1 a l>ge tra9 ( emigrants pass$ ?r\gh ,utah on its way to ,cali=nia4 ,! tra9 consi/$ ( "o hundr$ & tw5ty or "o hundr$ & ?irty p]sons1 & !y came *iefly f ,arkansas4 ,!y 7 p f ! c\ntry di/ricts1 sob]1 h>d-work+1 pla9 folks1 b well-to-d1 &1 tak5 all 9 all1 ab\t z respectable a b& ( emigrants z ev] pass$ ?r\gh ,salt ,lake ,city4 ,no?+ wor?y ( any p>ticul> note occurr$ to !m until !y rea*$ ! ,valley--t 0 ! po9t f :i* !y />t$ t[>ds dea?4 ,my old fri5d ,eli ,b4 ,kelsey travell$ ) !m f ,=t ,bridg] to ,salt ,lake ,city1 & he spoke ( !m 9 ! highe/ t]ms4 ,if ,i rememb] rightly he said t ! tra9 0 divid$ into two p>ts--! fir/ a r\gh-&-ready set ( m5--regul> fronti] pione]s2 ! o!r a pick$ community1 ! memb]s ( :i* 7 all m or less connect$ by family ties4 ,!y travell$ along 9 ! mo/ ord]ly fa%ion1 )\t hurry or confusion4 ,on ,sunday !y re/$1 & "o ( _! numb] :o _h be5 a ,me?odi/ prea*] conduct$ div9e s]vice4 ,all w5t well until !y rea*$ ,salt ,lake ,city1 :]e !y expect$ to be able to refit & repl5i% _! /ock ( provisions2 b x 0 !re t !y fir/ discov]$ t feel+ ( enmity :i* f9ally result$ 9 _! de/ruction4 ,n[ x s happ5$ t ! m9ds ( ! ,sa9ts 9 ,salt ,lake ,city 7 at t "t /rongly prejudic$ aga9/ ! p ( ,arkansas1 & = a mo/ unsa9tly reason4 ,! ,apo/le ,p>ley ,p4 ,pratt 0 "o ( ! e>lie/ conv]ts to ,mormonism1 & :o s ably def5d$ 8 adopt$ cre$ ) 8 p5 & f ! plat=m1 _h n v long be=e be5 soj\rn+ 9 ,arkansas1 & _h !re run away ) ano!r man's wife4 ,?is 0 only a trifle = an 8,apo/le0 to d1 & ! husb&--,mr4 ,mc,lean--might h kn[n x4 ,b he 0 a mo/ inconsid]ate man1 & 0 actually (f5d$ ) ! amor\s ,apo/le = :at he _h done4 ,he pursu$ him & kill$ him1 = 9 ^? r\gh p>ts x 0 consid]$ t ! ,apo/le did wrong 9 m>ry+ ! man's wife4 ,nobody1 h[ev]1 took any notice ( ! matt] or br\ght ! murd]] to trial4 ,! ,mormon p1 ( c\rse1 took ! side ( ! ,apo/le ,p>ley ,p4 ,pratt4 ,s5sitive !mselves to ! highe/ degree conc]n+ _! wives & daught]s1 !y consid]$ ,mc,lean a s9n] = do+ j exactly :at any ,sa9t w\ld h c]ta9ly done4 ,_! op9ion1 h[ev]1 w\ld h be5 a matt] ( consequ5ce only to !mselves1 _h n su* fatal consequ5ces result$ f x4 ,reason+ )\t reason1 !y argu$ t ,mc,lean 0 ! enemy ( e ,mormon1 & e ,mormon 0 ! enemy ( ,mc,lean2 ,mc,lean 0 protect$ 9 ,arkansas--!re=e e man f ,arkansas 0 an enemy ( ! ,mormons2--an enemy ought to be cut (f--!re=e x 0 ! duty ( e ,mormon to 8cut (f0--if he c\ld--e ,arkansas man4 ,?is appe>s to h be5 ! tone ( ?\ght :i* actuat$ ! m9ds ( ! lead]s ( ! p at ! "t :5 ?is emigrant tra9 arriv$ 9 ! ,city4 ,we>y & footsore !y encamp$ by ! ,jordan ,riv]1 tru/+ !re to recruit !mselves & _! teams1 & to repl5i% _! /ock ( provisions4 ,! h>ve/ 9 ,utah t ye> _h be5 abundant1 & !re 0 no?+ to h9d] !m f obta9+ a spe$y & full supply4 ,brigham ,"y 0 !n ,gov]nor ( ,utah ,t]ritory1 ,comm&]-9-,*ief ( ! ,militia1 & ,indian ,ag5t z well3 he 0 !re=e responsible = all t took place )9 8 jurisdiction4 ,x 0 8 duty to protect all law-abid+ p]sons :o ei!r resid$ 9 or travell$ ?r\gh ! c\ntry4 ,! emigrants1 s f> f be+ protect$1 7 ord]$ to break up _! camp & move on2 & x is said t writt5 in/ructions 7 s5t on be=e !m1 direct+ ! p 9 ! settlem5ts ?r\gh :i* !y w\ld h to pass to h no deal+s ) !m4 ,?is1 consid]+ _! ne$ ( provisions1 0 mu* ! same z condemn+ !m to c]ta9 dea?4 ,compell$ to travel on1 !y pursu$ _! j\rney sl[ly t[>ds ,los ,angeles4 ,at ,am]ican ,=k !y wi%$ to trade (f "s ( _! worn-out /ock & to pur*ase fre%--!y also desir$ to obta9 provisions4 ,!re 0 abundance ( ev]y?+ f ! f>m & f ! field1 = ,god _h v greatly bless$ ! l& t ye>2 b !y c\ld obta9 no?+4 ,!y pass$ on1 & w5t ?r\gh ,battle ,creek1 ,provo1 ,spr+ville1 ,spani% ,=k1 ,payson1 ,salt ,creek1 & ,fillmore1 & _! reception 0 /ill ! same1--! ^w ( ! ,mormon ,pontiff _h gone =?1 & no man d>$ to hold communion or to trade ) !m4 ,n[ & !n1 "s ,mormon1 weak 9 ! fai? or brav] or m fond ( money ?an 8 fell[s1 w\ld /eal into ! camp1 9 ! d>kness ( ! night1 be>+ ) him j :at he 0 able to c>ry2 b beyond ?is !y c\ld procure no?+4 ,_! only hope n[ lay 9 ! *ance ( hold+ out until !y c\ld pu% ?r\gh to "s ,g5tile settlem5t :]e ! ^w ( ! prie/ly ,gov]nor ( ,utah 0 n law4 ,?r\gh fifte5 diff]5t ,mormon settlem5ts did !y pass1 )\t be+ able to pur*ase a morsel ( bread4 ,) empty waggons & on %ort all[ance1 !y pu%$ on until !y rea*$ ,corn ,creek1 :]e1 = ! fir/ "t 9 sa9tly ,utah1 !y met a fri5dly greet+ f ! ,indians1 & pur*as$ f !m ?irty bu%els ( corn1 ( :i* !y /ood v greatly 9 ne$4 ,at ,beav] !y 7 aga9 repuls$1 & at ,p>[an !y 7 n p]mitt$ to ent] ! t[n--!y 7 =c$ to leave ! public highway & pass r\nd ! we/ side ( ! =t wall4 ,!y encamp$ by ! /ream1 & tri$ z be=e to obta9 food & fre% cattle1 b aga9 to no purpose4 ,! reason :y !y 7 refus$ admission to ! t[n 0 probably because ! militia 0 !re assembl$ "u ,colonel ,wm4 ,h4 ,dame--:i* militia aft]w>ds assi/$ 9 _! de/ruction1 = :i* prep>ations 7 ev5 n[ be+ made4 ,!y made _! way to ,c$> ,city1 ! mo/ popul\s ( all ! t[ns ( ,s\!rn ,utah4 ,"h !y 7 all[$ to pur*ase fifty bu%els ( ti?+ :eat1 & to h x gr\nd at ! mill ( t infam\s sc\ndrel ,john ,d4 ,lee1 ^u ^: memory w re/ ! et]nal curses ( all :o h ev] he>d 8 "n4 ,x 01 h[ev]1 no act ( m]cy1 ! supply+ ( ?is corn4 ,! sell]s ( x knew well en\gh ev5 !n t x w\ld return to !m aga9 9 ! c\rse ( a few days4 ,aft] all1 !y _h b =ty days' rations to c>ry !m on to ,san ,b]n>d9o1 9 ,cali=nia--a j\rney ( ab\t sev5ty days4 ,scanty k9dness--mis]able g5]osity6--fifty bu%els ( corn = a sev5ty days' j\rney1 = m51 wom51 & "y *ildr51 & at lea/ "o little "o to be born on ! road4 ,!y rema9$ 9 ,c$> ,city only "o day1 & s jad$ 7 _! teams t x took !m ?ree days to travel !nce to ,iron ,creek1 a di/ance ( tw5ty miles2 & two days 7 occupi$ 9 j\rney+ fifte5 miles--! di/ance betwe5 ,iron ,creek & ! ,mead[s4 ,! morn+ aft] !y left ,iron ,creek1 ! ,mormon militia foll[$ !m 9 pursuit1 int5d+1 x is suppos$1 to assault !m at ,cl>a ,cross+4 ,t ?is 0 no private outbur/1 & t1 on ! contr>y1 x 0 done by au?ority1 is evid5t f sworn te/imony to ! effect t ! assembl+ ( ^? troops 0 ! result ( 8a regul> milit>y call f ! sup]ior (fic]s to ! subord9ate (fic]s & privates ( ! regim5ts4444 ,said regim5t 0 duly ord]$ to mu/]1 arm$ & equipp$ z ! law directs1 & prep>$ = field op]ations40 ,a regul> milit>y c\ncil 0 held at ,p>[an1 at :i* 7 pres5t ,presid5t ,isaac ,c4 ,haight1 ! ,mormon ,high ,prie/ ( ,s\!rn ,utah1 ,colonel ,dame1 ,major ,john ,d4 ,lee1 & ! ,apo/le ,george ,a4 ,smi?4 ,no milit>y c\ncil1 :e!r ( ! militia or ! ord9>y troops ( ! l9e1 w\ld d>e to det]m9e ^u su* an important matt] z ! cutt+ (f ( an emigrant tra9 ( "o hundr$ & ?irty p]sons )\t receiv+ p]mission f sup]ior au?ority4 ,brigham ,"y 0 9 ?is case ! sup]ior au?ority--he 0 ! ,comm&]-9-,*ief ( ! ,militia3--! inf]5ce is obvi\s4 ,i d n1 ( c\rse1 say t he gave ! ord] = ?is accurs$ de$1 b t x 0 8 bus9ess to br+ ! crim9als to ju/ice no "o c d\bt or d5y4 ,! regim5t1 :i* />t$ f ,c$> ,city "u ! comm& ( ,major ,john ,d4 ,lee1 ! sub-ag5t = ,indian affairs 9 ,s\!rn ,utah1 0 accompani$ by baggage-waggons & ! o!r p>aph]nalia ( w> except+ only heavy artill]y1 :i* 9 ?is case w\ld h be5 useless4 ,b1 at ! same "t1 a l>ge body ( ! ,pi$e ,indians _h be5 invit$ to accompany !m4 ,an ord] came f head-qu>t]s to cut (f ! entire company except ! little *ildr54 ,! emigrants 7 utt]ly unprep>$1 & ! fir/ onslaught f\nd !m def5celess4 ,accu/om$1 h[ev]1 to bord] w>f>e1 !y imm$iately corrall$ _! waggons & prep>$ = a siege--_! great mis=tune 0 t !y _h n any wat]--,major ,john ,d4 ,lee1 f9d+ ! emigrants resolute1 s5t to ,c$> ,city & ,wa%+ton ,city = re9=cem5ts1 :i* duly arriv$4 ,! next morn+1 ,major ,john ,d4 ,lee assembl$ 8 troops1 includ+ ! auxili>ies :i* he _h summon$1 ab\t half a mile f ! entr5*m5t ( ! fat$ emigrants1 & !n & !re in=m$ !m1 ) all ! coolness :i* su* an infam\s sc\ndrel alone c\ld mu/]1 t ! :ole company 0 to be kill$1 & only ! little *ildr5 :o 7 too "y to rememb] any?+ 7 to be sp>$4 ,! un=tunate emigrants did n "k :o _! foes 74 ,!y saw ,indians1 or m5 :o 7 s col\r$ t !y look$ l ,indians1 & !y saw o!rs :o 7 m ?an /rang]s to !m1 b !y _h no clue to ! cause ( _! det5tion4 ,to !m all 0 my/]y4 ,t ,indians %\ld attack !m 0 q )9 ! b\nds ( probability1 al?\gh !re 0 at t "t no cause = su* an outrage2 b t su* an attack %\ld be p]si/5t1 & %\ld be c>ri$ on "u ! peculi> circum/ances 9 "q1 01 to say ! lea/1 highly improbable4 ,:o c\ld rightly tell a /ory s fe>ful z ?is8 ,! emigrant tra9--m51 wom51 & *ildr5 fa9t+ & fami%+ = want ( bread & meat4 ,9 _! pockets 0 money :]e) ! necess>ies ( life might h be5 b\ght1 & ! g5]\s h& ( ! ,almighty _h t ye> be5 op5 s wide1 & _h scatt]$ ^? necess>ies s lib]ally1 t no?+ b ! wick$ness ( man t[>ds 8 fell[ c\ld h creat$ a de>?4 ,b s x 0 t d>kness & ! fe> ( dea?--a fe>ful dea? ev5 at ! door--0 all ^? poor emigrants _h /&+ be=e _! eyes4 ,:at "r _h ! ,mormon militia to be pursu+1 to be hang+ ab\t ! skirts ( any body ( emigrants8 ,_! v pres5ce 0 9 itself unau?oriz$--crim9al4 ,! emigrants suppos$ t !y 7 surr\nd$ by ,indians1 & expect$ ! cruelle/ treatm5t 9 case ( resi/ance n only dea?1 b ! outrage & %ock+ atrocities ( savages4 ,!y did n "k t ! r$ m5 :o ?reat5$ _! lives & ! lives ( _! helpless wives & infants 7 br\ght toge!r at t spot = t same purpose by ! c\nsel ( ,mormon au?orities4 ,!y did n "k t s _m ( ! appe>+ r$-sk9s 7 only pa9t$ devils1 mocks ( humanity1 wret*es :o "u ! mask ( a r$-sk9's col\r 7 eag] to p]petrate ! f\le/ ( (f5ces--sc\ndrels a ?\s& times damn$ 9 ! op9ion ( m51 & by ! decree ( ,god4 ,day aft] day w5t by1 & ! poor creatures began to despair--:o c wond]8 ,! brave m5 c>$ little = _! own lives2 b !re 0 some?+ fe>ful 9 ! ?\ght t _! d>l+ ones w\ld be scalp$1 & torn 9 pieces1 & brutally outrag$6 ,:o c wond] t !y resolv$ to sell life z de>ly z !y possibly c\ld8 ,!y might at lea/ die 9 def5ce ( ^? !y lov$4 ,s day foll[$ day4 ,! agony ( ! unhappy m5 & wom5 :o 7 ?us besieg$1 & 7 9 daily1 h\rly p]il ( ! mo/ frightful ( all dea?s1 c be imag9$--n told4 ,mean:ile1 :at 7 ^? atroci\s sc\ndrels do+ :o 7 ly+ 9 wait = _! blood8 ,"s ( !m 7 trick$ out z ,indians2 "s 7 9 _! own prop] dresses2 &1 moreov]1 real ,utes 7 !re4 ,! unhappy victims c\ld n possibly escape--!re 0 "t = ! murd]]s to d _! "w leisurely4 ,betwe5 *ance %ots1 :i* 7 int5d$ to1 & did1 c>ry dea? ) !m1 !y amus$ !mselves ) 8pit*+ horse-%oe quoits30--su* he>tlessness is almo/ beyond conception4 ,9 t]rible ne$ ( wat]1 !y ?\ght t ev5 ! ,indians1 :o !y suppos$ 7 _! assailants1 might possibly respect a tok5 ( truce2 s !y dress$ two little girls 9 :ite & s5t !m d[n to ! well4 ,b ! fi5ds--! ,mormon militia--%ot !m d[n4 ,9 ! day ( doom1 ! blood ( ^? babes w te/ify m heavily aga9/ ,major ,john ,d4 ,lee1 & ,isaac ,c4 ,haight1 & ,colonel ,dame1 & ,george ,a4 ,smi?1 & ! o!r wret* :o plott$ & contriv$ t fe>ful iniquity1 ?an any ( ! base & c[>dly crimes :i* h = ye>s & ye>s black5$ _! contemptible & mis]able s\ls4 ,!y c\ld n possibly advance4 ,_! corn w\ld n la/ long4 ,!y 7 fami%+ = wat]4 ,h[ long !y c\ld hold out 0 evid5tly only a matt] ( "t4 ,_h ! tra9 consi/$ only ( m51 !y might c]ta9ly1 if ) loss1 h cut _! way ?r\gh _! besieg]s & escap$2 b ) wives & *ildr51 & o!rs b\nd to !m by ! t5d]e/ ties1 su* a ?+ 0 impossible4 ,!y look$ & wait$4 ,savage ,indians !y suppos$ 7 _! only enemies4 ,coldly1 /rangely z !y _h be5 treat$ at ! ,mormon settlem5ts1 !y nev] = a mom5t suppos$ t :ite m5 c\ld be 9 league aga9/ !m or c\ld m$itate _! de/ruction4 ,up 9 ! mead[s--9 ! di/ance--!re 0 a :ite du/y cl\d z if ( "s p]son or p]sons approa*+3--! he>ts ( ! emigrants leap$ = joy4 ,0 help com+ at la/8 ,x 0 evid5t t a waggon 0 com+ ne>1 & ! waggon 0 fill$ ) arm$ m52--"h 0 hope4 ,aft] all ! mis]y ( t waitful wat*+1 !y 7 ov]joy$1 & %\t$ al\d ) gladness1 & sprang ) op5 arms to welcome _! visitors4 ,little did !y suppose t ! fi5ds :o !n came d[n1 ) pale faces & ! mann]s ( :ite m51 7 ! same z ^? :o1 pa9t$ & deck$ out l ,indians1 _h be5 leagu]$ ab\t _! camp ) murd]\s int5tions = s _m days4 ,! waggon came ne>1 & 0 f\nd to be fill$ ) arm$ m54 ,surely n[1 ! unhappy emigrants ?\ght1 sub/antial help _h come--! au?orities ( ,utah 9 ! neighb\rhood1 :e!r ,g5tile or ,mormon1 _h come out 9 ! cause ( civilization & humanity1 & succ\r 0 at h&4 ,a :ite flag 0 wav$ f ! waggon z an emblem ( peace1 & 9 ord] t ! emigrants might "k t x 0 :ite m5 & n ! r$ demons ( ! hills :o approa*$4 ,!y did n1 inde$1 "k t ^! !mselves 7 ! mon/]s :o _h wrong$ !m all ?is "t1 & :o 7 ev5 n[ compass+ _! dea?4 ,inside t waggon 0 ,presid5t ,haight1 ! infam\s ,mormon ,bi%op ,john ,d4 ,lee1 & o!r au?orities ( ! ,*ur* 9 ,s\!rn ,utah4 ,!y pr(ess$ to ! emigrants t !y came ^u ! fri5dly err& ( /&+ betwe5 !m & ! ,indians4 ,!y said t ! ,indians _h tak5 (f5ce at some?+ t ! emigrants _h done1 t !y 7 ?ir/+ = _! blood1 b t !y1 ! ,mormon (ficials1 7 on good t]ms ) !m & _h influ5ce1 & w\ld use _! good (fices 9 ! cause ( m]cy & ( peace4 ,aft] "s discussion !y left ) ! pr(ess$ view ( conciliat+ ! ,indians4 ,!n !y return$ & said t ! ,indians _h agre$ t1 if ! emigrants m>*$ back to ,salt ,lake ,city1 _! lives %\ld be sp>$2 b t !y mu/ leave ev]y?+ beh9d !m 9 _! camp1 ev5 includ+ ! common weapons ( def5ce :i* e ,we/]n man c>ries ab\t 8 p]son4 ,! ,mormon (ficials !n solemnly und]took to br+ an arm$ =ce & to gu>d ! emigrants safely back aga9 to ! ,settlem5ts4 ,! emigrants 7 n c[>ds1 & w\ld d\btless h pref]r$ to cut _! way ?r\gh to ! s\?1 b !y c\ld n leave _! wives & little ones1 & any t]ms1 h[ev] disadvantage\s1 7 bett] ?an leav+ ^? !y lov$ to ! t5d] m]cy ( ^? wret*es4 ,?is agreem5t be+ made1 ! ,mormon (ficials retir$1 & aft] a %ort "t aga9 return$ ) ?irty or =ty arm$ m54 ,!n ! emigrants 7 m>*$ out--! wom5 & *ildr5 9 ! front1 & ! m5 foll[+1 :ile ! ,mormon gu>d foll[$ 9 ! re>4 ,:5 !y _h m>*$ 9 ?is way ab\t a mile1 & _h arriv$ at ! place :]e ! ,indians 7 hid 9 ! bu%es on ea* side ( ! road1 ! signal 0 giv5 = ! slaught]4 ,s tak5 by surprise 7 ! emigrants1 & s implicitly _h !y confid$ 9 ^! murd]]s1 t !y (f]$ no resi/ance4 ,! ,mormon ,militia1 _! gu>d1 imm$iately op5$ fire ^u !m f ! re>1 :ile ! ,indians1 & ,mormons disguis$ z ,indians1 :o 7 hidd5 among ! bu%es1 ru%$ out ^u !m1 %oot+ !m d[n ) guns & b[s & arr[s1 & cutt+ "s ( ! m5's ?roats ) knives4 ,! wom5 & *ildr51 %riek+ ) mortal t]ror1 scatt]$ & fl$1 "s try+ to hide 9 ! bu%es4 ,two "y girls actually did escape = ab\t a qu>t] ( a mile1 :5 !y 7 ov]tak5 & but*]$ "u circum/ances ( ! greate/ brutality4 ,! son ( ,john ,d4 ,lee endeav\r$ to protect "o poor girl :o clung to him = help2 b 8 fa!r1 te>+ h] f him by viol5ce1 blew out h] bra9s4 ,ano!r unhappy girl is said to h kneel$ to ?is same mon/] ,lee1 entreat+ him to sp>e h] life4 ,he dragg$ h] into ! bu%es1 /ripp$ h] nak$1 & cut h] ?roat f e> to e>1 aft] %e _h suff]$ worse at 8 h&s ?an dea? itself4 ,ab\t half an h\r 0 probably occupi$ 9 ! but*]y1 & e s\l ( t company 0 cut (f1 except+ only a few little *ildr5 :o 7 suppos$ to be too "y to und]/& or rememb] :at _h tak5 place4 ,! un=tunate victims 7 /ripp$1 )\t ref]5ce to age or sex1 & !n left to rot ^u ! field4 ,!re !y rema9$ until torn & dismemb]$ by ! wolves1 :5 x 0 !n ?\ght prud5t to conceal su* z lay ne>e/ to ! road4 ,an eye-witness subsequ5tly visit+ ! spot said3-- 8,! sc5e ( ! massacre1 ev5 at ?is late day1 0 horrible to look ^u4 ,wom5's hair 9 deta*$ locks & 9 masses hung to ! sage bu%es & 0 /rewn ov] ! gr\nd 9 _m places4 ,p>ts ( little *ildr5's dresses & ( female co/ume dangl$ f ! %rubb]y1 or lay scatt]$ ab\t1 & among ^!1 "h & !re on e h&1 = at lea/ a mile 9 ! direction ( ! road1 by two miles ea/ & we/1 !re gleam$1 blea*$ :ite by ! wea!r1 ! skulls & o!r bones ( ^? :o _h suff]$4 ,a glance into ! waggon1 :5 all ^! _h be5 collect$1 reveal$ a sight :i* nev] c be =gott540 ,illu/ration3 ,,sc5e ,,( ,,! ,,m\nta9 ,,mead[ ,,massacre4 ,to face p4 #bee4 ,! rema9s 7 subsequ5tly ga!r$ toge!r by ,major ,c>leton1 ! ,unit$ ,/ates ,commission]1 :o erect$ ov] !m a l>ge cairn ( /ones1 surm\nt$ by a cross ( r$ c$>1 ) ! inscription !reon3 8,v5geance is m9e3 ,i w repay1 sai? ! ,"l20 & on a /one b5ea? 7 engrav$ ! words3-- 8,"h #abj m51 wom51 & *ildr5 7 massacr$ 9 cold blood1 e>ly 9 ,septemb]1 #aheg4 ,!y 7 f ,arkansas40 ,x is said t ?is monum5t 0 subsequ5tly de/roy$ by ord] ( ,brigham ,"y1 :5 he visit$ t "p ( ! t]ritory4 ,! little *ildr51 :ile _! p>5ts 7 be+ but*]$1 _h clung ab\t _! murd]]s' knees1 entreat+ m]cy1 b none ( !m f9d+ x save ^? :o 7 little m ?an infants4 ,_! fe>s & cries ! night aft] ! murd] are said to h be5 he>t-r5d+4 ,"o little babe1 j beg9n+ to walk1 0 %ot ?r\gh ! arm4 ,ano!r little girl 0 %ot ?r\gh ! e>1 & ! clo!s ( mo/ ( !m 7 saturat$ ) _! mo!rs' blood4 ,!y 7 di/ribut$ among ! p ( ! settlem5ts1 & :5 f9ally ! ,gov]nm5t took !m "u ! protection ( ! nation1 ! p among :om ^! little ones liv$ actually *>g$ = _! bo>d+4 ,two ( !m are said to h utt]$ "s words f :i* x 0 presum$ t _! intellig5ce 0 9 advance ( _! ye>s4 ,!y 7 tak5 out quietly & buri$6 ,?is happ5$ "s "t aft] ! massacre4 ,mo/ ( ! prop]ty ( ! emigrants 0 sold by public auction 9 ,c$> ,city3 ! ,indians got mo/ ( ! fl\r & ammunition1 & ! ,mormons ! m valuable articles4 ,!y je/$ ov] x & call$ x 8,spoil tak5 at ! siege ( ,seva/opol40 ,!re is legal pro( t ! clo?+ /ripp$ f ! corpses1 blood-/a9$1 riddl$ by ! bullets1 & ) %r$s ( fle% atta*$ to x1 0 plac$ 9 ! cell> ( ! ti?+ (fice1 :]e x lay ab\t ?ree weeks1 :5 x 0 privately sold4 ,! cell> is said to h smelt ( x = ye>s4 ,long aft] ?is "t1 jewell]y torn f ! mangl$ bodies ( ! un=tunate wom5 0 publicly worn 9 ,salt ,lake ,city1 & e "o knew :5ce x came4 ,a ti?+ ( x all is report$1 ^u v conclusive evid5ce1 to h be5 laid at ! feet ( ,brigham ,"y4 ,?is is ! /ory1 mo/ imp]fectly told1 = ,i d>e n sket* its f\le/ details1 ( ! ,m\nta9 ,mead[s ,massacre4 ,brigham ,"y1 :o 0 at ! "t ,gov]nor ( ! ,t]ritory & also ,indian ,ag5t1 made no report ( ! matt]4 ,let t fact ( itself speak = 8 innoc5ce or guilt4 ,w\ld any o!r gov]nor or ag5t 9 ano!r t]ritory h be5 ?us sil5t8 ,john ,d4 ,lee1 & ,dame1 & ,haight1 & ! o!r wret*es h nev] be5 br\ght to trial or cut (f f ! ,*ur*1 al?\gh _! mon/r\s crime has nev] be5 a secret1 nor h any endeav\rs be5 made to conceal x4 ,?is fe>ful de$ 0 "o ( ! unavoidable results ( ! tea*+s ( ! ,mormon lead]s dur+ ! ,re=mation4 ,!re 7 crimes !n p]petrat$ 9 secret :i* w nev] be kn[n until ! day ( doom2 & !re 7 horrors :i* h be5 kn[n & record$1 b = :i* no "o has be5 br\ght to trial or has suff]$ inconv5i5ce4 ,!re are m5 9 ,salt ,lake ,city1 :o walk ab\t unblu%+ly 9 broad daylight1 b :o are kn[n to be murd]]s1 & ^: h&s h be5 aga9 & aga9 dy$ ) blood "u circum/ances ( ! mo/ atroci\s cruelty4 ,!re 0 "o cruel murd]1 b by no means ! wor/--:i* came "u my own p]sonal obs]vation1 & :i* ,i h allud$ to else:]e--! murd] ( ,dr4 ,john ,k+ ,rob9son 9 ,salt ,lake ,city1 :i* attract$ m ?an ord9>y att5tion4 ,?is g5tleman 0 a physician ( good /&+1 :o came out z assi/ant-surgeon ) ! ,unit$ ,/ates army1 & aft]w>ds began to practise 9 ,salt ,lake ,city4 ,he 0 kn[n z a man ( unimpea*able moral "*1 & !re are to ?is day hundr$s ( responsible p :o w\ld te/ify to 8 fair fame & rectitude2 al?\gh he _h by "s means incurr$ ! dislike ( _m ( ! ,mormon lead]s4 ,he =m$ ! idea ( tak+ possession ( "s w>m spr+s on ! nor? ( ! city1 & propos$ to erect !re ba?s1 an hospital1 c4 ,a small wood5 %anty 0 erect$ = ! purpose ( hold+ possession1 b ! city au?orities claim$ ! spr+1 &1 aft] "s v unpleasant proce$+s1 ! matt] 0 ref]r$ to ! law c\rts1 & ,judge ,titus decid$ aga9/ ! doctor4 ,aft] ?is v]dict _h be5 r5d]$1 ,dr4 ,rob9son seems to h act$ v prud5tly1 & to h rema9$ 9-doors z mu* z possible dur+ ! succe$+ days4 ,betwe5 elev5 & twelve o'clock on ! night ( ! ?ird day1 h[ev]1 aft] ! family _h retir$ to re/1 a man call$ at ! h\se1 & /at+ t 8 bro!r _h brok5 8 leg by a fall f a mule & 0 suff]+ v mu*1 he1 aft] "s e>ne/ p]suasion1 induc$ ! doctor to accompany him4 ,anxi\s z he might be to rema9 9-doors at su* a "t1 no pr(essional man w\ld refuse to p]=m an act ( m]cy4 ,he accord+ly w5t4 ,at a di/ance ( ab\t a c\ple ( hundr$ /eps f ! h\se he 0 /ruck ov] ! head ) "s %>p in/rum5t1 & imm$iately aft] %ot ?r\gh ! bra94 ,8 wife1 a "y girl1 to :om he _h only be5 m>ri$ a v %ort "t1 he>d ! report ( ! pi/ol1 & witnesses saw m5 flee+ f ! spot4 ,! police 7 s5t =1 & ! body 0 c>ri$ to ,indep5d5ce ,hall1 & aft]w>ds to ! victim's h\se4 ,! ,mayor ( ! city 0 n in=m$ ( ! murd] until t5 o'clock ! next day1 & ! *ief ( police1 :o 0 sitt+ r\nd ! fire ) 8 m5 :5 news ( ! murd] arriv$1 w5t to b$ imm$iately1 & did n visit ! sc5e ( ! outrage = ?ree days4 ,! foll[+ ,sunday1 ,brigham ,"y1 9 ! ,tab]nacle1 publicly sugge/$ t ! doctor _h probably be5 murd]$ by "s ( ! soldi]s f ,camp ,d\glas1 :o 7 dissatisfi$ ) 8 treatm5t :5 !y 7 "u 8 h&s1 or else t he _h fall5 9 "s gambl+ transaction--bo? ( :i* /atem5ts1 h[ev]1 7 kn[n by e "o pres5t to be utt]ly false4 ,no "o 0 ev] prosecut$ = ?is cruel murd]4 ,x did n occur dur+ ! ,re=mation1 b 0 ! natural result ( ! tea*+s ( ^? times4 ,i simply m5tion ^! facts )\t any comm5t ( my own4 ,let ! read] =m 8 own conclusion4 ,m ( ^! frightful /ories ,i d n c>e to relate2 & ,i %\ld n ev5 h pres5t$ ^! to ! notice ( ! read] _h x n be5 impossible o!rwise to give any adequate idea ( t t]rible 8,re=mation40 ,! ,g5tile army came 94 ,! ,union ,pacific ,railroad 0 op5$4 ,*anges & *ances alt]$ all t _h be51 & br\ght into be+ t :i* might be1 & t :i* f9ally really 04 ,in/ead ( look+ to ! ev5ts ( ?ree or f\r ?\s& ye>s ago1 m5 began to act up to ?+s :i* 7--to ?9k & act 9 ! pres5t1 n to dream ( ! pa/4 ,! day has gone by1 b n f>1 :5 ! p]petration op5ly ( su* de$s 0 possible2 b x is /ill boa/$ t1 :5 8,des]et0 becomes a ,/ate1 ! 8,sa9ts0 w 8%[ /ill great] zeal = ! ,"l60 ,9 conclud+ ?is too brief sket* ( ! mo/ tragic episodes 9 ,mormon dome/ic hi/ory1 ,i mu/ w>n my read]s aga9/ ! inf]5ce t ! gha/ly facts & details !re pres5t$ came to my k ei!r imm$iately or soon aft] my arrival 9 ,utah4 ,no1 x 0 only aft] _m ye>s' resid5ce !re1 & by v sl[ degrees1 t !y became kn[n to me1 & ! effect :i* !y produc$ on my m9d 0 necess>ily brok5 & impair$ by ! gradual & disconnect$ way 9 :i* !y ooz$ out1 ! horrible & bewild]+ trave/y ( biblical argum5t urg$ 9 _! def5ce1 & by my utt] isolation f ! out] & high] _w1 & communication ) ! he>t & bra9 ennobl+ influ5ces ( a :olesome & invigorat+ public op9ion4 ,,*apt] ,,xxvii4 ,,:at ,,wom5 ,,suff] ,,9 ,,polygamy3--,,! ,,/ory ,,( ,,m>y ,,burton4 ,"o bright summ] morn+1 ab\t six mon?s aft] our arrival 9 ,salt ,lake ,city1 ,i 0 sitt+ 9 ! "w-room1 busy ) my girls1 :5 a light tap 0 he>d at ! door1 & ! next in/ant a lady ent]$1 &1 com+ /raight up to me1 0 ab\t to kiss me4 ,i />t$ back a /ep1 held out my h&1 look$ h] full 9 ! face1 & 9 a mom5t we 7 9 ea* o!r's arms4 ,x 0 my old fri5d1 ,m>y ,burton6 ,i c\ld ) difficulty f9d words to express my a/oni%m5t :5 ,i recogniz$ h]1 s greatly 0 %e *ang$ 9 e respect4 ,f ! v fir/1 :5ev] we met aft] a long sep>ation1 ,i _h notic$ a m ?an ord9>y alt]ation 9 h] appe>ance4 ,b x mu/ be rememb]$ t at ! "t ( our fir/ re-union %e _h gr[n out ( *ildhood into womanhood2 :5 ,i met h] aga9 9 ,new ,york1 %e _h pass$ ?r\gh ! mo/ int]e/+ phase ( a woman's life--%e _h =sak5 maid5hood = matrimony2 & n[ ,i met h] once m aft] %e _h endur$ ^? horrors on ! ,pla9s--( :i* ! read] has already he>d--& %e _h ent]$ into a life ( sorr[ worse ?an any %e _h kn[n be=e4 ,no wond]1 !n1 t n[1 z ^u previ\s occasions1 ,i notic$ q a />tl+ *ange 9 h] appe>ance4 ,h] dress 0 ( ! co>se/ & pla9e/ k9d1 b neat1 z 0 ev]y?+ %e t\*$2 yet n s c>efully arrang$ z 9 ! old "t 9 ,engl&4 ,%e us$ =m]ly to h a way ( adju/+ a dress or a bonnet s t x set h] (f t5 times bett] ?an x w\ld a girl :o _h n naturally ! same ta/e2 b n[1 al?\gh1 z ,i said1 h] clo!s1 if co>se1 7 neat1 %e evid5tly _h n tak5 any pa9s to set h]self (f to ! be/ advantage2 & 9 a woman :at a /ory did t simple fact tell6 ,b x 0 9 h] features & mann]s t ! *ange 0 mo/ rem>kable4 ,9 look+ at h] face y w\ld h be5 puzzl$ to say 9 :at ! alt]ation consi/$4 ,h] *eeks 7 ?9n] & sadly pale1 b t 0 n ! cause ( h] appe>+ z %e did4 ,_h %e be5 old]1 ,i v]ily believe ! angui% %e _h pass$ ?r\gh w\ld h blan*$ h] hair & left ^u h] br[ deep m>ks ( ?\ght & suff]+4 ,z x 01 h[ev]1 ?\gh no "o feature 9 p>ticul> 0 v greatly alt]$1 ! :ole expression ( h] face 0 t ( "o ^: he>t 0 utt]ly cru%$ & brok52 & :5 h] eyes met m9e1 ,i c\ld h>dly refra9 f te>s z ,i saw ! m\rnful look ( subdu$ pa91 :i* told 9 !m ! t]rific conflict :i* h] he>t _h endur$4 ,i took h] to my own room--poor girl1 h[ my he>t bl$ = h]6--& aga9 & aga9 ,i held h] 9 my arms & tri$ to com=t h]1 = %e 0 v we>y2 & at la/ %e wept4 ,i 0 glad to see t passionate flood ( te>s1 = ,i knew x w\ld relieve h]1 & 9 t ,i 0 n mi/ak54 ,%e ?rew h] arms r\nd my neck1 &1 kiss+ me repeat$ly1 sobb$ out1 8,don't blame me1 ,si/] ,/5h\se2 don't blame me v mu*2 ,i _c help x40 8,!re1 !re1 ,m>y10 ,i said2 8be calm & y w soon be bett]4 ,y mu/ tell me all y\r tr\bles1 & ,i w d all ,i c to help & com=t y40 8,!re is no help1 ,si/] ,/5h\se1 no com=t = me2 ,i'm pa/ all t10 %e answ]$4 8,don't say t1 ,m>y10 ,i said2 8,i "k t y h pass$ ?r\gh a t]rible am\nt ( suff]+1 & h _h mu* tr\ble 9 e way2 b y\r husb& is /ill alive1 is he n8--& !re may be _m ye>s ( happ9ess be=e y40 8,x is ! ?\ght ( him t makes me s wret*$10 %e said2 8oh6 ,i c\ld h borne dea? a ?\s& times r ?an ?is4 ,i w\ld gladly h se5 him die r ?an see him *ang$ z he is n[4 ,y d n "k1 ,si/] ,/5h\se1 h[ my :ole s\l 0 wrapp$ up 9 t man1 h[ ,i almo/ wor%ipp$ him4 ,:5 we suff]$ s mu* toge!r on ! ,pla9s1 ,i felt happy 9 comp>ison ) :at ,i feel n[4 ,i rememb] t t]rible night :5 ,i believ$ he 0 dy+--,i rememb] ! angui% t ,i felt2 b1 oh6 ,i knew !n t he lov$ me & t 8 he>t 0 all my own4 ,_h ,i lo/ him1 if ,i c\ld myself h liv$1 ,i %\ld h felt t he _h nev] lov$ ano!r beside me2 ,i %\ld h kn[n t we w\ld meet toge!r aga9 9 heav5 & be happy 9 ea* o!r's love4 ,aft] all we w5t ?r\gh toge!r1 ,i lov$ him m & m2 we seem$ to live ) "o life2 we _h ! same ?\ghts1 & hopes1 & pleasures2 ,i lean$ ^u him1 & ,i lov$ him--ah1 s fondly6 &1 ,si/] ,/5h\se1 ,i "k he lov$ me !n4 ,we 7 gett+ ov] ! effects ( our suff]+s on ! ,pla9s1 & ,i 0 ga9+ /r5g? & 0 look+ =w>d to ! "t :5 my *ild %\ld be born4 ,x 0 !n t !y came & taught him t devil's doctr9e & l$ him away f me4 ,oh de>6 ,i _c be> x1 ,si/] ,/5h\se1 ,i _c be> x2 x w drive me mad60 ,%e buri$ h] face 9 h] h&s1 & sobb$ aga94 8,m>y1 de>10 ,i said1 8don't talk l t2 he _c h ceas$ to love y1 ,i am sure2 he us$ to almo/ wor%ip y1 de>40 8,x is because ,i "k t he did once1 t drives me crazy4 ,y d n "k :at ,i feel1 & :at ,i h to be>60 ,i did n utt] a ^w2 my own sorr[s 7 hidd5 9 my own he>t4 ,! he>t kn[e? its bitt]ness1 & a /rang] int]m$dle? n 9 ! matt]4 8,y h be5 ?r\gh ! ,end[m5ts80 %e ask$4 8,s h ,i4 ,we w5t ?r\gh1 ,si/] ,/5h\se1 ab\t ?ree mon?s aft] we came to ,utah1 & nev] s9ce !n h ,i kn[n a mom5t's peace4 ,i d n "k :at !y said to my husb&1 b1 :atev] x 01 x produc$ a great effect ^u 8 m9d1 & *ang$ him altoge!r2 he has be5 an alt]$ man f t v "t4 ,i h no d\bt t !y told !m t x 0 8 duty to take ano!r wife1 & !y w\ld say t no promise made to me be=e our m>riage 0 b9d+ if x comes 9 opposition to our religion4 ,y "k h[ devot$ he is1 h[ firm 8 fai? is4 ,:y1 ,i d believe t he w\ld obey c\nsel ev5 if x broke 8 he>t1 & co/ him 8 life4 ,did !y say no?+ to y or y\r husb&1 de>80 8,c]ta9ly !y did1 ,m>y2 we h he>d x daily & h\rly1 & my husb& is con/antly be+ c\nsell$ ab\t x4 ,i am wret*$1 ,m>y1 y "k ,i mu/ be2 ,i feel j z y d1 b h[ c we help ourselves80 8,no1 we _c help ourselves1 !re is no hope10 %e said2 8b x is a cruel wrong4 ,y "k well en\gh h[ det]m9$ ,i 0 nev] to m>ry a man :o w\ld take ano!r wife4 ,:5 ,i ?\ght t ,eld] ,%rewsbury might be influ5c$ by 8 religion1 ,i made him g to ! ,apo/le & get c\nsel1 & !n he solemnly v[$ to me t he nev] w\ld ent] into polygamy )\t my cons5t2 :i*1 ( c\rse1 0 ! same z say+ t he nev] w\ld d s at all4 ,until we w5t ?r\gh our ,end[m5ts1 he nev] ev5 h9t$ at su* a ?+4 ,b !y spoke to him !n2 & "o day1 aft] he _h be5 hav+ a long consultation ) ! ,bi%op1 he came & spoke to me4 ,he 0 n unk9d 9 ! lea/4 ,9 fact he seem$ to be z mu* pa9$ at all m5tion ( ! subject z ,i 04 ,he said t ! ,bi%op _h be5 urg+ him to live up to 8 privileges1 & _h expla9$ to him h[ great a loss 9 ! cele/ial _w x w\ld be1 bo? to him & to me1 if he did n take m wives4 ,he 0 told t n[ :ile he 0 "y 0 ! "t1 & t ,i w\ld soon get ov] any pa9 t ,i might suff]4 ,yes1 !y actually said s4 ,fancy te>+ out ! v affections ( "o's he>t1 & bla/+ e hope & happ9ess 9 life1 & !n say+ t ,i %\ld soon #8get us$ to x6' ,i tell y1 ,si/] ,/5h\se1 a true woman nev] c #8get us$' to ?is hide\s sy/em4 ,if ! he>ts ( "s are dead & cold1 x is a curse to !m & a curse to _! husb& & *ildr52 & if a wife seems c>eless or call\s1 z ! case may be1 x is because love = h] husb& has fir/ di$ out 9 h] he>t4 ,%e feels no jeal\sy because %e has no love2 b if a woman has b a sp>k ( love = h] husb&1 %e w hate ) a deadly hatr$ any o!r woman :om t husb& loves40 8,b :at did ,eld] ,%rewsbury say :5 !y told him to ent] into polygamy80 ,i inquir$4 8,at fir/ he told !m x 0 utt]ly impossible10 %e repli$1 8& he m5tion$ 8 promise to me1 & said we 7 v happy toge!r1 & t he wi%$ = no?+ m4 ,b !y knew 8 weakness1 & t he w\ld d any?+ = 8 religion1 & !y urg$ him on t po9t4 ,x 0 ev5 a s9 aga9/ me !y said1 = if he _h no m ?an "o wife he c\ld nev] exalt me 9 ! cele/ial k+dom2 t ,i ought to be treat$ l a *ild--a v de>1 b spoilt *ild2 & if ,i refus$ :at 0 = my own & my husb&'s b5efit & ev]la/+ welf>e1 he ought to act up to :at he knew 0 "r1 & leave ! consequ5ces ) ! ,"l1 :o w\ld ord] all ?+s = ! be/4 ,my husb& told me all ?is v sadly at fir/1 b ,i c\ld see t x _h an effect ^u 8 m9d4 ,!y saw x1 too1 & did n let ! subject drop4 ,e day !y spoke to him ( x1 & at la/ he gave way--= my sake1 he said6 ,?is 0 ! cruelle/ wrong ( all4 ,!n "o day he told me v firmly & v coldly1 z if he _h /eel$ 8 he>t to d s1 t he _h made up 8 m9d to take ano!r wife40 8,:at60 ,i exclaim$1 8aft] ! solemn oa? he swore nev] to d su* a ?+8 ,:y1 ,i c\ld n h believ$ x ( ,eld] ,%rewsbury60 8,i rem9d$ him ( 8 promise10 %e said1 8b he told me t ! ,revelation ju/ifi$ him 9 break+ x2 t x said 9 ! second clause t #8,all cov5ants1 contracts1 & oa?s n seal$ by him :o is appo9t$ on e>? to hold ?is p[] 9 ! la/ days are ( no =ce aft] ! resurrection2' t = ?is cause we _h be5 m>ri$ aga9 = et]nity1 & t n[ he 0 free f 8 oa?4 ,i knelt d[n be=e him1 & ,i wept & pray$ z if = life itself2 ,i entreat$ him1 if no m1 to wait & put (f all ?\ghts ( ano!r m>riage = a few mon?s1 until he _h "t to consid] ! matt] c>efully4 ,he _h already ?or\ghly ?\ght x ov]1 he said1 & c\ld n g back n[1 = ! ,bi%op _h *os5 a wife = him1 & _h arrang$ ev]y?+4 ,he ev5 told me :o x 0--a "y girl nam$ ,wilbur1 ab\t f\rte5 ye>s ( age--a m]e *ild4 ,i pray$ him if he w\ld be s wick$ z to p]jure himself & wrong me s f\lly1 at lea/ n to add to 8 s9 by injur+ a poor innoc5t *ild4 ,he 0 v indignant ) me = t1 said t he 0 do+ ! *ild ! greate/ good he possibly c\ld by m>ry+ h]2 t he 0 ensur+ h] salvation z well z m9e2 & t he expect$ to receive ! bless+ ( ,god40 8,m>y10 ,i said1 8?is sy/em is a fe>ful curse40 8,curse60 %e exclaim$1 8curse is a heav5ly ^w to apply to su* a sy/em4 ,:y !re is no?+ 9 hell s hateful1 s vile1 s dete/able4 ,x is blight & ru9 to ev]y?+ t is fair & good4 ,i nev] pass a day b ,i curse ) ! bitt]e/ hatr$ ! m5 :o devis$ x4 ,wom5 c hate bitt]ly :5 !y *oose2 b ,i hate !m m ?an ev] woman hat$ be=e40 8,hu%6 hu%1 de>60 ,i said2 8y mu/n't talk s1 ,m>y60 8,i mu/n't say x p]haps--x's dang]\s1 ,i "k2 b ,i may ?9k s4 ,!re is n a true-he>t$ woman 9 ,utah :o does n feel z ,i d ?is day4 ,d y ?9k t :5 !y h ru9$ all our hopes = "t & = et]nity we %all love !m /ill8 ,"h1 b = ?is wret*$ sy/em1 ,i %\ld h be5 a happy wife & "m1 & n[ see :at ,i am--husb&1 *ild1 all lo/--all lo/60 8,is ! *ild dead1 ,m>y80 ,i ask$ v g5tly1 = ,i fe>$ to pa9 h]4 8,yes1 de>10 %e repli$1 89 fact1 ,i believe x nev] liv$--! "o ,i 0 ?9k+ (4 ,i 0 ill1 v ill inde$1 aft] :at my husb& _h told me4 ,!y ?\ght ,i %\ld die1 & ,i ?9k he 0 sorry1 = he became v k9d & t5d] to me1 b t only made me feel worse4 ,!n my *ild 0 born1 b ,i nev] saw x1 = ,i 0 unconsci\s = m ?an a week aft]1 & !n !y told me t x 0 n alive1 b my husb& w\ld nev] speak to me ab\t x4 ,z ,i grew bett]1 8 cold1 /]n mann] return$1 & !n at la/ he m>ri$ t girl ,wilbur1 & s9ce !n he has m>ri$ two m1 = he is do+ v well 9 bus9ess4 ,i ?9k t all 8 love = me has gone4 ,at fir/ he ?\ght ( m>ry+ aga9 because x 0 a religi\s pr9ciple2 & z x 0 ! "t ( ! ,re=mation he did n d>e to refuse2 b n[ 8 he>t is gr[n h>d & cold4 ,y see a *ange 9 me1 ,si/] ,/5h\se1 b ,i ?9k y'd see a great] *ange 9 him4 ,i "k1 ( c\rse1 t ,i us$ to look at him ) ! eyes ( love1 & ( c\rse did n see him z o!r p did2 b t is n ! only *ange--x isn't 9 8 face alone2 8 :ole nature is alt]$4 ,x q pa9s me sometimes to see him40 8,d y feel any happi] n[--any calm]1 ,m>y80 8,yes10 %e said1 8yes1 & no4 ,i d n love him z ,i us$ to2 h[ c\ld ,i8 ,b :5 ,i look into my he>t ,i f9d1 if ,i tell y ! tru?1 t a little love does rema9 !re4 ,if only ,i c\ld q cease to love him ,i ?9k ,i %\ld be happy2 b :5 ,i pet & play ) my little girl--= we h _h "o *ild s9ce t dreadful "t--"s ( my love = him comes back aga91 & ,i sit d[n & h a good cry4 ,sometimes t isn't en\gh to calm me1 & ,i %ut ! door & walk up & d[n ! room & swe>4 ,!re6 don't look s horrifi$1 ,si/] ,/5h\se1 ,i _c help x2 if ,i did n give way to my feel+s n[ & !n ,i %\ld die outright2 & sometimes ,i break a few ?+s1 b he nev] kn[s x1 & x does me good4 ,we came into ! city ye/]day on a visit1 & we %all /ay = a few days4 ,he br\ght me1 ,i believe1 z a matt] ( =m2 b ,i f\nd out :]e y liv$1 & ,i came to see y4 ,y nev] answ]$ my lett]1 & ,i did n "k :e!r y _h left ,new ,york yet4 ,i really am glad to see y1 ,si/] ,/5h\se4 ,& is x true t ,bro!r ,/5h\se has n tak5 ano!r wife yet80 8,n yet10 ,i said2 8b1 z ,i told y1 he has be5 spok5 to ab\t x1 & ,i _c tell :at he may d4 ,z y say1 ,m>y1 ! ,mormon wom5 h n mu* to make !m happy40 ,m>y gave me a great deal ( in=mation4 ,9 t %e 0 q h]self1 z ,i knew h] 9 by-gone days4 ,no?+ escap$ h] obs]vation4 ,%e sat d[n ) me & told me all h] tr\bles1 & ,i ne$ h>dly say h[ deeply ,i sympa?iz$ ) h]4 ,s ,i tri$ to com=t h]1 & spoke ab\t h] *ild1 b ev5 respect+ t poor little ?+ %e felt no hope4 8,:y1 :5 x gr[s up10 %e said1 8x w be z mis]able z ,i am--,i c see no prospect ( happ9ess 9 ! future = x40 ,we agre$ t ! only way :]eby we might prev5t our *ildr5 f exp]i5c+ sorr[ & mis]y simil> to our own 0 to tea* !m f ! v fir/ t ,polygamy 0 ! natural & prop]1 z well z ! reveal$ ord] ( m>riage2 9 fact to 8br+ !m up0 9 ! sy/em4 ,:at a mis]able res\rce 0 ?is = a "m :o lov$ h] *ildr56 8,"o ?+1 ,m>y10 ,i said1 ref]r+ to h] own p]sonal exp]i5ce 9 ,polygamy2 8"o ?+ ,i d n q und]/&4 ,y1 ( c\rse1 _h made y\r husb& specially promise1 be=e y m>ri$ him1 t he w\ld nev] take ano!r wife1 & he 0 !re=e b\nd1 z a man1 by e moral obligation1 n to d s4 ,b o!r wom5 h n be5 situat$ z y 71 & !y h exact$ no promises f _! husb&s4 ,yet x always seem$ to me t y\r do+ s 0 q sup]flu\s1 = y mu/ be aw>e1 ,m>y1 t ! ,revelation says t1 be=e a man c take a second wife1 he mu/ h ! full cons5t ( ! fir/4 ,! eld]s 9 ,europe us$ to make a great deal ( t po9t1 z y may rememb]1 = !y said t ?is provision took f ! ,revelation any h>%ness or inju/ice :i* x might o!rwise appe> to %[4 ,i "k _m wom5 :o submitt$ on ?is acc\nt1 = !y argu$ t1 if _! p]mission 0 necess>y1 !y c\ld always1 by refus+1 save !mselves f any fur!r tr\ble4 ,n[ if t 0 s1 h[ came y\r husb& to take ano!r wife aga9/ y\r w8 ,i say y\r husb&1 because ,i %\ld h no difficulty 9 _m o!r cases4 ,i h be5 repeat$ly told t husb&s nev] tr\bl$ !mselves ab\t ! ,revelation :5 !y want$ ano!r wife1 unless x 0 to sil5ce ! fir/ wife ) x1 if %e rebell$4 ,b ,i always reg>d$ ,eld] ,%rewsbury z a consci5ti\s man1 & ,i firmly believ$ t he w\ld nev] will+ly give y a mom5t's pa94 ,:5 he made t promise to y1 he _h ! ,revelation be=e him1 & _h also ! ,apo/le to g to if he ne$$ ! #8,^w ( ! ,"l4' ,he 0 !re=e b\nd by t promise1 not)/&+ any?+ t ! ,revelation might say to ! contr>y2 & ev5 _h he made no promise1 ! ,revelation 0 on y\r side4 ,we are told t e woman mu/ fir/ give h] cons5t40 8,t is all v true1 ,si/] ,/5h\se10 %e said1 8to a c]ta9 ext5t4 ,! !ory is z y say1 b y h n he>d ! :ole4 ,i "k ! ,revelation pretty ne>ly by he>t1 & s ,i c tell y exactly :at x does say4 ,! fir/ wife is said to hold ! keys ( ?is p[]1 by :i* is meant t %e c refuse4 ,b !n x goes on to say t :5 h] husb& has taught h] ! law ( ! ,prie/hood--t is ,polygamy--#8%e %all believe or %e %all be de/roy$1 sai? ! ,"l y\r ,god1 = ,i w de/roy h]4' ,y see !re is no loophole ( escape = ! woman4 ,h] husb& is to tea* h] ! law1 & %e %all believe2 & if %e does n--& ( c\rse p h no p[] to make !mselves believe :at !y please--%e is to be de/roy$1 & ,god w de/roy h]6 ,d y "k1 ,si/] ,/5h\se1 !re are /ories :isp]$ "h ( wom5 :o did refuse1 & :o /ood 9 _! husb&s' way2 & x is said t ! ,prie/hood did n wait = ! ,"l to de/roy1 b c>ri$ out ! law !mselves4 ,b we h w&]$ sadly f y\r "q4 ,y 7 talk+ ab\t ! fir/ wife giv+ h] cons5t80 8,yes10 ,i said1 8& y 7 ab\t to tell me :e!r x 0 really & practically necess>y 9 e in/ance4 ,y h be5 "h long]1 & h se5 m1 ?an ,i h40 8,! wife's cons5t is by no means necess>y1 ,si/] ,/5h\se4 ,x may be ask$ sometimes z a m]e matt] ( =m1 &1 ( c\rse1 9 ! ,end[m5t ,h\se1 :5 %e gives ! o!r wives to h] husb&1 %e may be said to give h] cons5t to 8 m>ry+ !m4 ,x is no?+ b a piece ( folly to talk ab\t wom5 hav+ ! p[] to )hold _! cons5t1 & x is simply an insult & a mock]y = _! husb&s to ask x2 !y well "k be=e !y ask t _! wives d>e n refuse to give x4 ,b x enables !m to boa/ to ! ,g5tiles t !y d n take o!r wives until _! fir/ wife gives h] cons5t4 ,?is is :at is meant by #8! lib]ty ( ! ,gospel1' ,i suppose1 ab\t :i* ,bro!r ,brigham talks s mu*4 ,b e "o kn[s p]fectly well t ?is is all a f>ce4 ,)\t ,presid5t ,"y's cons5t !re c be no m>riage at all2 b if x is ! w ( ,brigham1 ! refusal ( ! fir/ wife1 & ! p>5ts1 & ! girl h]self d n = a mom5t signify40 8,b did y\r husb&1 ,m>y1 act 9 ?is way80 8,well1 n q4 ,he told me t1 if ,i refus$1 x w\ld make n ! slighte/ diff]5ce2 & z ,i believ$ him1 ,i1 ( c\rse1 w5t1 & did n make a sc5e4 ,x w\ld h only made matt]s worse4 ,"s ( ! old] si/]s came r\nd & talk$ me ov]1 & expla9$ & insi/$1 & #8lab\r$' ) me z !y call$ x1 until ,i h>dly knew :at to ?9k or d2 my m9d 0 q unsettl$4 ,eliza ,r4 ,sn[ is q great at t sort ( "w4 ,:5 my husb& took 8 o!r two wives1 he did n consult me at all1 b simply told me t on a c]ta9 day ,i mu/ g ) him to ! ,end[m5t ,h\se4 ,we w5t1 & he m>ri$ two si/]s on ! same day1 b x did n d him mu* good4 ,!y are h&some girls1 b h v bad temp]s1 & we (t5 h a v unpleasant "t4 ,! second wife1 poor *ild6 suff]$ mo/ :5 he m>ri$ ! o!r two4 ,%e did n seem to l me v well at fir/1 :i* 0 q natural2 b1 :5 ! o!r two 7 br\ght home1 %e seem$ q to cl+ to me1 & ,i h1 /range to say1 tak5 q a fancy to h]4 ,9 all our disputes %e always sides ) me1 & 9 return ,i always /& up = h]1 z a matt] ( c\rse4 ,i am gett+ us$ to ?is wret*$ life2 ,i try to /ifle my love2 & ,i am sorry to say t sometimes ,i almo/ hate e "o ar\nd me1 includ+ my husb&4 ,n[ & !n ! old long+ = "s "o to love1 = "s "o to confide 91 comes ov] me4 ,i felt l t ?is morn+ :5 ,i came "h1 & t is :at made me act s badly40 8,say no?+ ( t1 ,m>y10 ,i repli$4 8,i wi% y w\ld /ay ) me :ile y are 9 ! city40 8,no10 %e said1 8we %all be "h = a day or two1 b ,i d n ?9k my husb& w\ld l me to /ay "h altoge!r4 ,he kn[s t y are aw>e ( 8 atta*m5t to me once1 & 8 promises 9 ! old times1 & v likely he w\ld be a little a%am$ to meet y4 ,he'll make bus9ess an excuse1 & 9 fact he is busy all ! day4 ,s ,i'll come r\nd alone z mu* z ,i c1 & we'll h a good talk aga940 ,i saw h] to ! door1 & !n %e turn$ & said1 8,i'll come aga9 & see y1 ,si/] ,/5h\se1 be=e we leave ! city40 ,?us say+1 %e kiss$ me1 laugh$ ) ! gho/ ( h] =m] m]ry ways :5 ,i fir/ knew h]1 & said good-bye4 ,i wat*$ h] till %e 0 lo/ to sight1 & !n ,i clos$ ! door1 say+ to myself1 ) a sigh1 8,ah1 me6 c ?is be ! ,m>y t ,i once knew80 ,,*apt] ,,xxviii4 ,,h[ ,,m>riages ,,are ,,made ,,9 ,,utah--,a ,,new ,,wife ,,f\nd ,,= ,,my ,,husb&4 ,n long aft] ?is1 ,i 0 enabl$ to visit my ,swiss fri5d1 ,madame ,bailiff4 ,ev] s9ce h] husb& _h call$ ^u me 9 ,salt ,lake ,city1 ,i _h wat*$ anxi\sly = an opportunity ( see+ h]1 = ,i felt mu* int]e/$ 9 le>n+ h[ "t _h pass$ ) h] s9ce we p>t$ 9 ,g5eva4 ,i f\nd h] 9 a little log-cab9 ( two rooms1 ) b>e walls1 b>e floor1 & mis]ably furni%$2 & 9 ?is wret*$ abode pov]ty & polygamy _h wreck$ ! life ( my poor fri5d1 :om ,i _h kn[n "u su* diff]5t circum/ances4 ,"h1 toge!r ) _! five *ildr51 liv$ also ! second wife1 ) h] two *ildr54 ,x 0 ) difficulty t ,i c\ld recognize 9 ! poor1 c>eworn1 brok5-spirit$1 & ill-clad woman :o /ood be=e me1 ! once gay1 light-he>t$1 happy1 & elegantly-dress$ lady :om ,i _h kn[n 9 ,switz]l&4 ,mormonism _h 9 h] case utt]ly blight$ h] exi/5ce4 ,x seem$ to me h>dly possible t s great a *ange %\ld h be5 wr\ght 9 h] 9 su* a few ye>s z _h elaps$ s9ce la/ ,i saw h]4 ,:at suff]+ %e mu/ h endur$1 ,i ?\ght1 :at m5tal agony1 :at physical pa91 to write ^? wr9kl$ l9es ( c>e ^u h] once h&some face2 &1 ah6 :at a pang ,i felt at ! remembrance t ,i myself _h be5 in/rum5tal 9 lead+ h] into ,mormonism & ,polygamy4 ,self-reproa* ,i did n feel1 b sorr[ ,i did4 ,i _h ?\ght to lead h] into ! way ( hol9ess & heav5ly peace by w9n+ h] to ! religion ( ! ,sa9ts1 b t :i* ,i 9 my en?usiasm _h believ$ w\ld be ! greate/ bless+ :i* "o poor mortal c\ld communicate to ano!r1 _h turn$ to a curse1 &1 in/ead ( ! happy wife & "m :i* %e once _h be51 %e _h become a victim to t fai? :i* 9 its v exi/5ce is an insult to womanhood4 ,9 temp] & disposition %e 01 h[ev]1 j ! same2 h] affectionate nature 0 un*ang$4 ,no d\bt %e read 9 my features ! pa9ful surprise :i* ,i exp]i5c$ 9 witness+ h] alt]$ circum/ances2 b %e met me ) n a s+le ^w ( reproa* = my be+ ! cause ( h] leav+ h] own de> c\ntry4 ,i %\ld n h blam$ h] _h %e hat$ me1 ?\gh %e knew1 ( c\rse1 t ,i _h wrong$ h] innoc5tly4 ,%e told me ( ! difficulties :i* !y _h _h to cont5d ) aft] _! arrival 9 ,utah1 & h[ !y _h be5 compell$ to "p ) almo/ ev]y?+ !y _h1 9 ord] to provide bread = _! *ildr54 ,:5 !y left ,london1 !y took ) !m sev]al h&some c>pets1 *9a1 glass1 & a l>ge quantity ( silv] w>e1 besides b$d+ & clo?+ ( e description2 = !y 7 well-to-d 9 ! _w1 & _h q en\gh = !mselves1 aft] !y _h lib]ally assi/$ ! poor] ,sa9ts to emigrate4 ,^u _! arrival 9 ,utah1 ! husb&--good man t he 0--0 will+ to come d[n to ! level ( 8 bre?r5 & g to f>m+ among !m4 ,a bro!r :o knew him 9 8 own c\ntry1 & imag9$1 ,i suppose1 t he c\ld af=d to lose1 sold him a f>m t he himself _h become disgu/$ )1 ?\gh1 ( c\rse1 he did n say s2 & :5 my inexp]i5c$ fri5d1 ,monsieur ,bailiff1 f\nd t no?+ c\ld be done ) x1 he suppos$ t ! l& 0 good en\gh1 b t he himself 0 n compet5t to "w x4 ,no "o v5tur$ to h9t t he _h be5 *eat$1 z x 0 "o ( ! ,*ur* au?orities :o _h sold him ! l&4 ,aft] sp5d+ ^u x all t he possess$1 he 0 f9ally compell$ to ab&on x4 ,!y 7 n[ v mu* /rait5$ 9 circum/ances1 & my poor fri5d told me t %e _h frequ5tly be5 compell$--z !y 7 entirely de/itute ( money--to take a silv] spoon or =k to ! but*]'s m>ket to trade )1 & !re !y drove a h>d b>ga9 ) h]1 & %e obta9$ next to no?+ 9 ex*ange = h] silv]4 ,h] cry/al & plate n[ grace ! table ( a c]ta9 ri* man 9 ,utah4 ,e article !y possess$ w5t 9 ?is way at a mo/ ru9\s sacrifice1 until no?+ rema9$2 & !n ! husb& 0 =c$ to engage 9 manual lab\r1 :ile ! poor wife employ$ h]self 9 :atev] fem99e "w %e c\ld obta92 !y receiv+ 9 return j :at p *ose to pay !m4 ,9 ! mid/ ( _! tr\bles ! husb& 0 8c\nsell$0 to take ano!r wife4 8,b :y did he n refuse to d s80 ,i ask$4 8,if y _h be5 "h dur+ ! ,re=mation1 y w\ld n ask me su* a "q z t4 ,si/] ,/5h\se1 y ought to ?ank ,god t y 7 n "h !n4 ,!re 7 %ock+ ?+s done at t "t1 & ! m5 7 all crazy ab\t m>ry+4 ,!y m>ri$ e woman :o 0 s+le1 & ev5 little girls :o _h sc>cely rea*$ _! te5s2 x 0 a "t ( t]ror1 & no "o d>$ to rebel40 ,%e !n told me t h] husb& _h be51 z "o might say1 compell$ to m>ry a "y ,swiss girl :om !y _h br\ght out to ,utah ) !m z a dome/ic4 ,?is girl _h be5 a v fai?ful s]vant1 & ,madame ,bailiff _h become v mu* atta*$ to h]4 ,dur+ ! ,re=mation ! ,bi%op visit$ !m1 & 8c\nsell$0 ,monsieur ,bailiff to take a second wife4 ,! girl 0 also 8c\nsell$0 to m>ry1 & :5 %e said t %e did n "k ( any "o to :om %e w\ld l to be m>ri$1 ! ,bi%op told h] t he himself w\ld f9d a suitable man4 8,my husb& told me :at ! ,bi%op _h urg$ him to d10 said ,madame ,bailiff1 8& we talk$ ! matt] ov] 9 a practical way4 ,we knew t ! girl w\ld be =c$ to m>ry somebody1 & t !n %e w\ld h to leave u1 :i* w\ld put u to ! v greate/ inconv5i5ce1 =1 situat$ z we 71 we c\ld h>dly get on )\t h] assi/ance4 ,at ! same "t1 he also w\ld be compell$ to obey c\nsel1 & we came to ! conclusion t z !re 0 no way ( evad+ ! difficulty altoge!r1 x w\ld be bett] = him to m>ry ! girl ?an to br+ a /rang] into ! h\se4 ,s he ask$ h]1 & %e accept$ him1 & !y 7 m>ri$4 ,%e is a good girl1 & tries to d h] be/1 b x is a great trial to me1 & "o :i* ,i tru/ y may nev] be call$ ^u to be>4 ,my husb& is z k9d & g5tle a man z ev] liv$1 & he has done all he c\ld to keep me f feel+ unhappy2 _h x be5 o!rwise1 ,i d>e n ?9k :at ,i %\ld h done--,i believe ,i %\ld h gone mad or di$4 ,9 our h\sehold arrangem5ts1 ( c\rse x made v little diff]5ce1 b x 0 inexpressibly pa9ful to me1 & ?\gh ,i suppose ,i %all rema9 a ,mormon till ! day ( my dea?1 ,i h le>n$ to hate ,mormonism40 ,poor ,madame ,bailiff6 ,h]s 0 a life ( privation & sorr[ ( late ye>s4 ,happy z woman c\ld be 9 h] y\?ful days1 %e little dream$ :at ,provid5ce _h 9 /ore = h] ere h] e>?ly c\rse _h run4 ,) a fai?ful & devot$ husb&2 ) a *>m+ little family gr[+ up ar\nd h]2 ) all t c\ld make life fair & beautiful4 ,b t accurs$ ?+--,polygamy--came & poison$ all h] happ9ess1 & blight$ all h] hopes2 & :51 b a few mon?s ago1 worn out & we>y ( life1 %e left beh9d h] all h] sorr[s & all h] mis]y1 ,i c\ld n weep t %e _h gone to a bett] l& beyond ! veil1 b ,i ?ank$ ,god t at la/1 poor s\l1 h] days ( trial 7 = ev] ov]1 & %e _h ent]$ into h] et]nal re/4 ,"o day ,bro!r ,brigham s5t me ^w t he wi%$ to see me4 ,i w5t to him1 & he told me t he want$ me to become acqua9t$ ) a c]ta9 "y girl 9 :om he took a great int]e/4 ,%e 0 ! daught]1 by 8 fir/ wife1 ( ,j$$iah ,m4 ,grant1 ! fam\s ,apo/le ( ! 8,re=mation0--h] "n 0 ,c>rie1 & %e 0 n[ an orphan4 ,bro!r ,brigham wi%$ me to h h] ) me e day1 = %e 0 n 8feel+ well10 he said1 & he ?\ght ,i might d h] "s good4 ,?is 8n feel+ well0 ,i aft]w>ds discov]$ meant t %e 0 almo/ ready to apo/atize4 ,if %e desir$ x1 ,i 0 to tea* h] my bus9ess2 n t %e ne$$ to foll[ any pr(ession1 =1 z ,presid5t ,"y expla9$1 %e _h a good home2 b h] m9d ne$$ occupation1 & he did n c>e h[ %e employ$ h] "t1 s long z %e 0 ) me e day & c\ld be made to 8feel well40 ,i li/5$ to all t ,bro!r ,brigham said1 & accept$ ! tru/ 9 good fai?--n only to please him1 b because ! girl 0 an orphan1 & my he>t w5t out t[>ds h] ev5 be=e ,i _h se5 h]4 ,be=e ,i return$ home ,i call$ at ! h\se :]e ,c>rie 0 /opp+1 & arrang$ t %e %\ld come e day to see me1 "u pretext ( le>n+ ! bus9ess4 ,n[ x s happ5$ t we ea* conceiv$ a lik+ to ! o!r ! v fir/ mom5t we met2 we made fri5ds toge!r at once1 & %e want$ to beg9 com+ to me ! v next day4 ,%e 0 a sweet-look+ & intellig5t girl1 fair1 b fragile1 & ) a peculi> expression ( melan*oly sadness dwell+ ^u h] features1 :i* gave h] a pa9fully int]e/+ appe>ance4 ,i nev] be=e1 or s9ce1 met ) a "y girl :o habitually look$ s unhappy2 & ,i ?\ght t p]haps physical weakness might be ! cause1 = x 0 evid5t t 9 con/itution %e 0 extremely delicate--,i almo/ fe>$ consumptive4 ,! fir/ day we sp5t toge!r %e told me t h] p>5ts _h be5 among ! pione]s to ,utah1 t h] only si/] _h di$ on ! ,pla9s1 & t %e _h lo/ h] "m soon aft] !y _h arriv$ 9 ,salt ,lake ,city4 ,z ! only rema9+ *ild ( h] "m1 %e _h be5 a great pet ) h] fa!r1 b he too _h di$ ab\t f\r ye>s previ\s to ! "t ( :i* ,i speak1 & %e _h nev] be5 happy s9ce4 8,i (t5 long to die10 %e said1 8t ,i might jo9 my "m & fa!r2 no "o loves me "h1 & ,i h no?+ to live =40 ,h] fa!r _h m>ri$ f\r wives aft] h] "m's dea?1 & !y 7 all v k9d to h]1 b %e did n feel t %e _h a home4 ,%e told me t ab\t six mon?s be=e %e came to me %e _h />t$ to g ea/1 to h] "m's fri5ds1 = !y _h frequ5tly writt5 to h]1 urg+ h] to come to !m1 & t :5 %e 0 ab\t two weeks' j\rney f ,salt ,lake ,city1 ,brigham ,"y s5t aft] h]1 & %e 0 br\ght back4 8,b10 %e said1 8,i %all nev] be happy "h1 ,si/] ,/5h\se1 ,i "k ,i nev] %all2 & :y %\ld !y n let me leave & g to my relatives80 ,i knew v well t x 0 ( no use = h] to try to get away1 = we _h no railroad !n1 & escape 0 almo/ impossible4 ,i !re=e tri$ to make h] m *e]ful1 & told h] t a girl z "y z %e 0--= %e 0 sc>cely sev5te5--_h mu* to live =4 ,b h] unhapp9ess _h become almo/ a settl$ melan*oly1 & %e seem$ to be int]e/$ 9 no?+4 ,besides :i*1 ! task ,i attempt$ 0 all ! m difficult z ,i 0 n at all happy myself4 ,"o day ! conv]sation happ5$ to turn ^u ,polygamy1 & 9 a mom5t ,i saw t all h] tr\ble arose f t mis]able doctr9e1 & f t alone4 ,we _h n ex*ang$ _m words ^u ! subject :5 %e exclaim$3 8,oh1 h[ ,i hate ,polygamy6 ,god =give me2 b ,i _c help x1 ,si/] ,/5h\se6 ,i d hate x2 & yet ,i believe t x is true40 ,poor *ild6 ,i und]/ood h] too well1 = h] position 0 exactly m9e4 ,f t mom5t we 7 fa/ fri5ds4 ,"h 0 ! *ild ( "o ( ! greate/ fanatics t ,mormonism has ev] kn[n1 "o ( ! wilde/ advocates ( ! 8,cele/ial ,ord] ( ,m>riage10 p]fectly loa?+ ! sy/em2 & yet1 poor girl1 believ+ x firmly1 & believ+ too t %e c\ld n obta9 salvation unless %e ent]$ into x4 ,h[ ,i piti$ & lov$ t poor girl6--& yet :at /r5g? or consolation c\ld ,i (f] h]1 be+ myself z pa9fully situat$ z %e 08 ,our mutual sorr[ unit$ u /ill m pa9fully 9 lov+ companion%ip4 ,i _h r>ely met among ! ,mormon girls ) "o s ?\ghtful & obs]v+1 s k9d & g5tle4 ,%e _h n be5 ) me _m weeks be=e %e _h entw9$ h]self s completely r\nd my he>t t ,i 0 lonely :5 %e /ay$ away1 & ,i tri$ to keep h] ) me altoge!r4 ,i tri$ 9 e way to make h] feel at home :5 at my h\se2 & notic+ h] delicate heal?1 & ?9k+ t %e did n always get ^? little ?+s to tempt h] appetite :i* an invalid %\ld always h1 ,i f\nd out _m trifles :i* ,i believ$ w\ld please h]1 & always tri$ to get !m = h]4 ,%e seem$ to ?9k mu* ( ^! little att5tions1 & ,i h always believ$ t %e lov$ me v de>ly4 ,"s ( my neighb\rs began to :isp] pretty pla9ly to me t ,bro!r ,brigham _h an object 9 view 9 ask+ me to int]e/ myself 9 ,c>rie's welf>e4 ,!y told me !y believ$ t my husb&1 if he _h n already be5 c\nsell$ to m>ry h]1 w\ld be be=e long4 ,kn[+1 z ,i did1 ,c>rie's av]sion to ,polygamy1 ^! sugge/ions did n tr\ble me v mu*2 b ,i begg$ my in=mants n to speak ( ! matt] 9 my "y fri5d's pres5ce1 z x w\ld only di/urb & annoy h]4 ,i 0 ! m anxi\s on ?is po9t z h] heal? _h by t "t began v p]ceptibly to improve1 & sometimes %e seem$ to be almo/ joy\s & light-he>t$4 ,sometimes %e w\ld sew1 & sometimes %e read or play$ ) ! *ildr51 ( :om %e 0 v fond1 & ,i always all[$ h] to d j z %e pleas$4 ,"o day my talkative fri5d call$ to see me4 ,%e _h n be5 ne> ! h\se = sev]al mon?s1 & ,i ?9k1 at h] la/ visit1 %e mu/ h tak5 (f5ce at my tell+ h] t ,i ?\ght %e _h n act$ wisely 9 procur+ wives = h] husb&4 ,%e _h1 h[ev]1 n[ an object 9 com+ :i* ,i soon discov]$4 ,%e 0 %[n 91 & z soon z %e 0 fairly seat$1 ,i obs]v$ t1 :ile talk+ to me1 %e 0 inquisitively scrut9iz+ ,c>rie's face1 z if try+ to discov] h] "* or read h] ?\ghts4 ,sudd5ly--%e did ev]y?+ impulsively--%e int]rupt$ ! conv]sation1 say+3 8,si/] ,/5h\se1 ,i want to speak to y privately40 ,i ask$ h] to come ) me into ! next room1 & %e did s1 b be=e ,i _h "t to close ! door1 %e exclaim$3 8,all[ me to congratulate y2 y h done v wisely60 8,congratulate me ^u :at80 ,i ask$4 8,^u ! excell5t *oice y h made = y\r husb&10 %e repli$2 8,i knew v well y w\ld pond] ov] my good c\nsel & seek ano!r wife = ,bro!r ,/5h\se1 & ,i am c]ta9 t my example & my fai? & pray]s h help$ y1 = ,i h ask$ ! ,"l to /r5g!n y to d j :at y are do+40 8,do+60 ,i said1 8:at am ,i do+8 ,i really don't und]/& :at y mean40 8,oh1 nons5se60 %e exclaim$2 8b ,i und]/&1 if y don't4 ,y wi% to keep x a secret1 ,i suppose1 until ! happy ev5t takes place4 ,& y are q "r 9 t1 = !re are s _m busybodies "h1 & !y d int]f]e s mu* 9 _! neighb\rs' affairs t x isn't pleasant4 ,b ( c\rse y ne$n't fe> me--,i %\ldn't ?9k ( brea?+ "o s+le ^w ( ! matt]1 unless y wi%$ me to d s40 8,i am really at a loss to "k :at y mean10 ,i said1 v mu* annoy$ ) h]4 8,oh10 %e said1 8if y ?9k t ,i am int]f]+1 ,i w n say ano!r ^w1 = ,i %\ld v mu* dislike to be consid]$ m$dlesome4 ,b y "k1 my de> ,si/] ,/5h\se1 ! great int]e/ ,i h always felt conc]n+ y2 f ! v fir/ :5 ,i knew y 9 ,engl& ,i always prophesi$ great ?+s ( y1 b ,i 0 a little afraid :5 ,i saw y\r opposition to ,polygamy1 & ,i _c tell h[ happy ,i felt :5 ,i he>d ye/]day t y _h f\nd a wife--& a good wife too--= y\r husb&40 8,i f9d a wife = my husb&60 ,i exclaim$4 8,t ,i nev] w\ld4 ,i dislike ,polygamy f> too mu* to d s4 ,no2 if he ev] wants ano!r wife1 ,i %all nev] help him to f9d h]2 he'll h to get h] himself40 8,:o is t "y girl1 !n1 t ,i saw j n[80 %e ask$2 8is t n ,miss ,grant80 ,i repli$ t x 04 8,well10 said %e1 8,i 0 told t y _h ask$ h] to m>ry y\r husb&40 8,!re is no tru? 9 ! report10 ,i said2 8,i am sure t %e has nev] ?\ght ( su* a ?+1 nor h ,i1 nor has my husb&2 & ,i w\ld n h su* a ?+ spok5 ( = ! _w40 8,well10 %e repli$1 8,i am really q disappo9t$4 ,y h a spl5did opportunity1 & ,i d believe t t 0 :at ,bro!r ,brigham meant :5 he ask$ me to see aft] h]4 ,9 fact1 ,i 0 told t x 0 8 only motive1 all along40 8,!n ,bro!r ,brigham w soon f9d out 8 mi/ake1 ,i c assure y10 ,i answ]$1 8= ,i nev] w ask h]2 &1 moreov]1 if ,i ?\ght = a mom5t t %e w\ld ev] wi% su* a ?+1 mu* z ,i love h]1 ,i %\ld !n hate h]40 8,my de> ,si/]10 %e said1 8h[ d y expect ev] to get salvation8 ,i suppose y ?9k t is none ( my bus9ess1 & t ,i %\ld leave y 9 ! h&s ( ! ,"l4 ,b be=e ,i g1 let me ask y to see ,eliza ,sn[ z soon z y h an opportunity4 ,%e w build y up1 & d y a _w ( good40 ,i told h] ,i ne$$ no 8build+ up20 all ,i want$ 0 t my husb& & myself %\ld be left alone1 & t p %\ld n m$dle ) our affairs4 ,aft] %e _h gone1 h] conv]sation tr\bl$ me a great deal4 ,:at did x all mean8 ,_h ! busybodies be5 try+ to br+ ab\t an alliance betwe5 my husb& & ,c>rie8 ,_h ,brigham ,"y be5 work+ all along to ?is end8 ,h[ev] x might be1 ,i resolv$ t1 at lea/1 ,c>rie %\ld "k no?+ ( ! matt] f me4 ,"o morn+1 ! ,apo/le ,heb] ,c4 ,kimball call$ 9 8 c>riage4 ,x 0 v e>ly1 be+ only ab\t sev5 o'clock4 ,mr4 ,/5h\se w5t out to see him1 b 9 8 blunt way he said3 8,i d n want y1 ,i want ,si/] ,fanny to take a ride ) me40 ,my husb& br\ght him into ! h\se & he told me he want$ to h a talk ) me4 8,y mu/ n fix up10 he said1 8or ,i won't ride ) y4 ,come along 9 y\r wrapp] & slipp]s1 & j put on y\r sun-bonnet40 ,i told him t ,i nev] w5t out 9 a sun-bonnet4 8,well1 !n1 d x = ! fir/ "t10 he said4 ,i sugge/$ t ,i _h _h no breakfa/1 & ask$ him if he w\ld wait & h "s ) u4 8,no10 said he2 8,i h pl5ty ( wives ar\nd ?is t[n1 & we w f9d breakfa/ some:]e40 ,s ,i />t$ j z ,i 01 & he told ! driv]--:o1 ,i ?9k1 0 "o ( 8 own sons--to call r\nd & see 8! folks0--mean+ 8 wives4 ,!n1 turn+ to me1 he said3 8,y nev] look$ pretti]1 ,si/] ,fanny2 y ought always to we> a sun-bonnet1 b y l dress a great deal too mu*--y w keep y\r husb& poor1 & !n h[ w he be able to c>ry out ! comm&s ( ,god8 ,did y ev] ?9k ( t8 ,!n1 aga91 y dress y\r *ildr5 too mu*2 x mu/ take pretty well all y\r "t to make _! clo!s2 & see :at x mu/ co/4 ,n[1 ,i'm go+ to give y "s good advice4 ,d :at my folks d4 ,i tell !m to make a l9sey dress = ea* ( ! *ildr5 9 ! spr+1 & let !m we> x all ! summ]2 & !n1 :5 ! w9t] comes1 x w be s full ( grease & dirt t x w be sure to keep !m w>m4 ,n[ ,i'm sure y won't cons5t to d t ) y\r *ildr51 s x is good c\nsel ?r[n away40 ,i knew well en\gh t ,bro!r ,heb] 0 only je/+1 = app>5tly he provid$ v well = 8 family1 al?\gh he all[$ !m no luxuries4 ,he w5t on to say3 8,b t isn't :at ,i want$ to speak to y ab\t2 ,i _h some?+ else to say4 ,:5 is y\r husb& go+ to m>ry ,miss ,grant8 ,t girl has got to be look$ aft] by "s good man & woman1 & ,i ?9k t y & ,bro!r ,/5h\se w d fir/-class4 ,:at d y ?9k80 8,i %\ld n l my husb& to m>ry h]10 ,i said4 8,& :y n1 ,si/] ,fanny80 he ask$4 8,because ,i myself love h]10 ,i repli$4 8,:y1 t is ! v reason :y he ought to d x ! soon]10 he said1 8& y w\ld cont9ue to love h]1 & love h] all ! bett] too1 :5 %e belong$ to y\r husb&1 & :5 y saw h[ mu* he lov$ h]40 ,he laugh$ outright z he said ?is1 & told me n to look s solemn4 8,:y10 he said1 8x's ! f9e/ ?+ 9 ! _w to develope love 9 ! wom52 a man nev] gets s mu* att5tion 9 8 life z :5 he has got sev]al wives all try+ _! be/ to please him40 8,t may be10 ,i said2 8b :o is to pay att5tion to _! wives80 8,?+s h be5 all upside d[n 9 ! _w1 ,si/] ,fanny10 he answ]$1 8& ! ,prie/hood is go+ to set !m all 9 ord]4 ,x is ! wom5's place to m9i/] to ! m51 & ! m51 9 return1 w save !m 9 ! ,k+dom1 if !y are good girls40 ,by ?is "t we _h driv5 r\nd sev]al ( 8 fields 9 ! l[] "p ( ! city1 & at la/ we /opp$ at ! h\se ( "o ( 8 wives4 ,%e v k9dly prep>$ breakfa/ = u2 aft] :i* we call$ to see two or ?ree o!r wives1 & !n return$ home4 ,on ! way back he tri$ to get me to promise t ,i w\ld p]suade my husb& to m>ry ,miss ,grant4 ,?is ,i positively refus$ to d1 al?\gh x w\ld h be5 dang]\s = me n to acquiesce _h x n be5 t ,bro!r ,heb] 0 atta*$ to me & all[$ me to say :at ,i lik$ aga9/ ,polygamy1 laugh+ at me & tell+ me to 8hold on0 :5 ,i became too mu* 9 e>ne/4 ,?is con/ant ref]5ce to ,c>rie began to tr\ble me s]i\sly1 al?\gh1 s f>1 ,i _h n yet spok5 ab\t x ei!r to h] or to my husb&1 & did n int5d to d x4 ,i felt sure t ,c>rie1 poor *ild1 0 p]fectly innoc5t2 %e _h refus$ to g to sev]al p>ties ) u1 & _h o!rwise decl9$ to accompany my husb&1 & ,i believ$ t ,i _h no cause = uneas9ess4 ,?us "t pass$1 & m ?an a ye> flew by1 & ,c>rie /ill rema9$ ) me4 ,lately ,i ?\ght t h] mann] 0 *ang$1 & t %e 0 a good deal alt]$4 ,i notic$ t %e 0 %y :5 9 ! pres5ce ( my husb&1 & t %e r avoid$ him4 ,= a long "t ,i _h n suspect$ t any?+ 0 wrong betwe5 !m1 & ! k t ,c>rie 0 tr\bl$1 & t my husb& 0 ! cause1 came ^u me sudd5ly4 ,%e began by /ay+ away = sev]al days at a "t1 & at la/ %e told me t %e 0 go+ away = a :ile to visit a fri5d 9 ! c\ntry4 ,%e look$ s unhappy t ,i felt sure t all 0 n "r1 & begg$ h] n to g1 b %e w\ld n li/5 to me4 ,x 0 necess>y = h] to g1 %e /at$1 & w\ld say no m4 ,%e bade me good-bye1 & = two mon?s ,i he>d no?+ ( h]1 suppos+ t %e 0 9 ! c\ntry1 & !n ,i 0 surpris$ to le>n t %e 0 visit+ ) a fri5d 9 ano!r "p ( ! city1 & t %e 0 v ill inde$4 ,i imm$iately w5t to call ^u h]1 & %e 0 v mu* pleas$ to see me1 & !n ,i discov]$ t %e _h n be5 9 ! c\ntry at all1 b _h be5 !re 9 ! city ) h] fri5d4 ,i c\ld n at ! "t und]/& h] conduct2 b z %e1 9 common ) mo/ o!r delicate p1 0 r caprici\s1 ,i all[$ x to pass )\t any comm5t4 ,%e told me t z soon z %e felt a little bett] %e w\ld come & see me2 b %e nev] came1 & ,i 0 some:at (f5d$ at h] suppos$ neglect1 & ?\ght t be=e ,i visit$ h] aga9 ,i w\ld wait & see :e!r %e fir/ came up to our h\se4 ,all ?is "t1 a fri5d ( ,c>rie's 0 9 ! habit ( look+ 9 v frequ5tly ^u "s trifl+ err& or o!r1 & ,i notic$ t %e always wait$ = ! return ( my husb&1 & !n made "s excuse to g out ) him1 & !y _h long conv]sations toge!r4 ,!re 0 "s my/]y1 ,i cle>ly p]ceiv$1 & z a wife & a woman ,i det]m9$ t x 0 my duty to f9d out :at t my/]y 04 ,,*apt] ,,xxix4 ,,tak+ ,a ,,second ,,wife3--,,! ,,exp]i5ce ,,( ,,! ,,fir/4 ,i did n presume to ask my husb& :at x 0 t he _h to talk ab\t ) ,c>rie's fri5d1 b ,i in/9ctively felt :at x might be1 & ,i 0 s mu* tr\bl$ 9 m9d t ,i ?\ght ,i w\ld nev] g to see h] aga94 ,by t "t ,i _h le>n$1 z e ,mormon wife does le>n1 nev] to ask que/ions4 ,! wife ( a ,sa9t nev] d>es to ask h] husb& :i!r he is go+ or :5 he w return4 ,%e is n expect$ to "k or c>e :at bus9ess h] husb& may h on h& :5 he leaves home 9 ! ev5+1 aft] mak+ a mo/ elaborate toilet1 ) frequ5t admiration ( himself 9 ! mirror4 ,if ! poor wife feels t %e mu/ say some?+1 to give v5t to h] ov]wr\ght feel+s1 %e simply asks 9 a consci\s1 guilty way1 :5 he w be home aga92 wi%+ too (t5 9 h] secret he>t t he might say--,nev]4 ,h] duty is to be sil5t & unobs]vant2 & ?\gh "s poor wom5 h1 :5 _! outrag$ feel+s 7 ov]*>g$1 inadv]t5tly betray$ curiosity respect+ ! movem5ts ( ! abs5t ones1 !y h soon be5 /]nly taught _! duty1 & ^? lov+ husb&s h giv5 !m good cause to rep5t ( _! inquisitiv5ess4 ,& :o c blame ^! disconsolate1 lonely wom51 if ?us !y feel8 ,_! religion alone is to blame4 ,x has be5 ! de/ruction ( t sweet confid5ce :i* %\ld exi/ betwe5 husb& & wife1 & x has divid$ he>ts & int]e/s :i* %\ld insep>ably h be5 = ev] "o4 ,?is1 sl[ly b no less pa9fully1 ,i 0 beg9n+ to und]/&4 ,h[ev] e>ne/ly ,i might try to combat ! idea1 my life 0 wret*$ ) ! "o cont9ual fe> ( :at ,i might see or he> ( my husb&4 ,i tri$ to drive away su* ?\ghts1 & ,i call$ to m9d all ! acts ( k9dness & devotion :i* he _h %[n to ^? ^: love my he>t held de>4 ,sometimes1 argu+ ) myself1 ,i said3 8,no1 my husb& w n deceive me2 no matt] :at o!r m5 may d or be ) _! wives1 my husb& w be frank & true ) me40 ,s ,i ?\ght !n2 b ,i 0 de/9$ to realize 9 my own exp]i5ce h[ utt]ly impossible x is = any man1 no matt] h[ hone/ & tru?ful he may naturally be1 to practise ,polygamy )\t becom+ a hypocrite2 & ! m he loves 8 wife ! great] hypocrite he w become1 try+ to deceive h] ) ! fooli% notion t half 8 cruelty is done 9 attempt+ to 8sp>e h] feel+s40 ,my husb& ?\ght t he 0 act+ k9dly to me :5 he said no?+ ( all t transpir$ betwe5 him & ,c>rie2 b :5 ,i saw ! visit ( ,c>rie's lady-fri5d s frequ5tly repeat$1 ,i began to suspect ! tru?1 & 0 mu* tr\bl$4 ,i 01 h[ev]1 too pr\d to "q him on ! subject1 at ! risk ( gett+ an evasive answ]1 & x 0 evid5t t ! two p]sons mo/ intimately int]e/$ 9 ! matt] int5d$ t ,i %\ld be kept 9 ! d>k4 ,i saw ?r\gh all ?is1 & x did n t5d ei!r to re/ore my peace ( m9d or to make me m pleasant 9 my int]c\rse ) ,c>rie or my husb&4 ,9 _! conduct ,i c\ld see no?+ b deception1 h[ev] good _! int5tion might be1 & ,i felt t !y 7 treat+ me z a *ild4 ,! ?\ght 0 v pa9ful to me1 & x 0 only ) a great ef=t t ,i suppress$ x4 ,^! pa9ful feel+s1 ( c\rse1 _h a m>k$ effect ^u my daily life4 ,i grew we>y1 & my heal? fail$1 ,i became ?91 & my features 7 m>k$ ) c>e & anxiety4 ,:5 p came to see me1 ,i said little to !m1 & _! v pres5ce ,i felt irksome4 ,me*anically ,i w5t ?r\gh ! daily r\t9e ( duty1 b my he>t 0 9 no?+ t ,i did4 ,i d>$ n ev5 tru/ myself to speak to any "o1 = fe> ( becom+ ! subject ( conv]sation & attract+ ! att5tion ( ! au?orities1 :i* 0 n at all desirable1 = ! position ( a 8rebelli\s woman0 9 ^? days 0 any?+ b pleasant4 ,i /ood alone4 ,^u my husb& ,i look$ ) suspicion2 my *ildr5 7 too "y to und]/& me2 ,c>rie--:om ,i _h tak5 to my he>t1 to :om ,i _h confid$ my sorr[s1 ^: own welf>e _h be5 s de> to me--_h1 z ,i ?\ght1 turn$ aga9/ me1 l an add]1 & !re 0 no "o 9 :om ,i c\ld tru/4 ,x seem$ to me too cruel = ,c>rie to treat me s1 & yet ,i c\ld n d\bt t %e 0 act+ unfai?fully t[>ds me4 ,surr\nd$ by my *ildr51 liv+ "u ! same ro( ) my husb&1 my he>t 01 nev]!less1 fill$ ) a s5se ( utt] lonel9ess & desolation4 ,!re 0 no "o 9 :om ,i c\ld confide1 to :om ,i might tell my sorr[s1 & f ^: c\nsel or /r5g? ,i might d]ive com=t4 ,i d>$ n ev5 g & lay my griefs be=e ,god1 = ,i _h be5 l$ to believe t all my suff]+ 0 caus$ by an arbitr>y decree :i* ,he will$ to be en=c$4 ,h[ false a notion ( t lov+ heav5ly ,fa!r ^: t5d] c>e is s manife/ly %[n 9 ,8 g5tle deal+s ) ! weake/ ( ,8 creatures6 ,x 0 n[ ab\t six mon?s s9ce ,c>rie left my h\se1 & ,i 0 "u ! impression t all t "t c]ta9 well-int5tion$ si/]s _h be5 do+ all !y c\ld to br+ ab\t a m>riage betwe5 h] & my husb&4 ,h] heal?1 h[ev]1 0 s bad t sometimes = weeks toge!r %e did n leave h] room4 ,at ! "t1 ( c\rse1 ,i knew no?+ ( ?is1 b ,i aft]w>ds he>d ( x4 ,:5 ,i call$ ^u h]1 :i* ,i did :5 ,i f\nd t %e 0 too ill to come to see me1 ,i ?\ght %e 0 greatly *ang$ 9 h] mann]2 b :5 ,i ?\ght ( h] lonely position1 my he>t w>m$ t[>ds h]1 & ,i =got all my suspicions4 ,c]ta9ly1 ,i want$ to ask h] "o pla9 "q relative to my husb&1 b my pride w\ld n all[ me to speak to h] on t subject unless %e fir/ m5tion$ x to me4 ,"o day ,i ?\ght t %e 0 ab\t to make a confession4 ,talk+ indiff]5tly ( ord9>y matt]s1 %e sudd5ly said1 8,i am surpris$ y ev] wi%$ to see me20 b :5 ,i ask$ h] :y1 expect+ t %e w\ld n[ expla9 :at _h s long tr\bl$ me1 %e answ]$ evasively1 & no?+ m 0 said4 ,) ,c>rie's abs5ce f our h\se ! rum\rs ab\t h] :i* _h tr\bl$ me s mu* some:at subsid$4 ,no?+ c\ld sil5ce ! secret appreh5sion :i* cont9ually held my s\l 9 dread2 b ! fe> ( my "y fri5d's influ5ce once remov$1 ,i 0 comp>atively at peace4 ,x 01 h[ev]1 b ! lull be=e ! /orm4 ,i soon le>n$ t 9 los+ ,c>rie ,i did n lose ,polygamy1 & f ab\t t "t ,i c date my husb&'s desire to su/a9 8 bre?r5 9 ! p]=mance ( _! duty1 & 8 wi% to act z !y did1 especially 9 ref]5ce to ! 8,cele/ial ,ord] ( ,heav540 ,j at t "t ! 8,morrill ,bill0 = ! suppression ( ,polygamy 0 pres5t$ to ,congress1 & all true ,mormons 7 made to feel t x 0 _! duty to /& by _! lead]2 & ?\gh1 9 itself1 !y might see no?+ desirable 9 ,polygamy1 yet1 if !y _h n already multipli$ wives1 x 0 _! duty to d s )\t any delay4 ,ev] wat*ful z ,i 01 ,i notic$ little *anges 9 my husb&1 :i* "u ord9>y circum/ances w\ld h escap$ my obs]vation4 ,by ?is "t "o all-absorb+ idea _h tak5 possession ( my m9d1 & my husb&'s ?\ghts1 ,i believe1 7 turn$ 9 ! same direction--only our wi%es did n exactly co9cide4 ,polygamy 0 ! ?\ght common to bo?1 b ^u its desirability we ent]ta9$ dissimil> views4 ,a man ) ,polygamy ^u 8 m9d 0 !n a creature :i* ,i did n und]/&1 & :i* ,i _h n fully /udi$4 ,"s ye>s lat]1 :5 ,i _h a little m exp]i5ce 9 ,mormonism1 ,i discov]$ sev]al nev]-fail+ signs by :i* "o might "k :5 a man wi%$ to take ano!r wife4 ,he w\ld sudd5ly 8awak5 to a s5se ( 8 duties20 he w\ld h s]i\s misgiv+s z to :e!r ! ,"l w\ld p>don 8 neglect 9 n liv+ up to 8 privileges2 he w\ld become v religi\s1 & w\ld att5d to 8 meet+s--8 8te/imony meet+s10 s++ meet+s1 & all sorts ( o!r 8meet+s10 :i* seem$ j !n to be v num]\s1 & 9 v>i\s o!r ways he w\ld %[ 8 anxiety to live up to 8 religion4 ,he w\ld ?us be frequ5tly abs5t f home1 :i*1 ( c\rse1 8he deeply regrets10 z 8he loves s de>ly ! society ( 8 wife & *ildr540 ,! wife1 p]haps1 poor simple s\l6 ?9ks t he is becom+ unusually lov+ & affectionate1 = he us$ n1 at "o "t1 to express mu* sorr[ at leav+ h] alone = a few h\rs2 & %e ?9ks h[ happy %e ought to feel t su* a *ange has come ov] h] husb&1 al?\gh1 to be sure1 he 0 always z good z mo/ ( ! o!r ,mormon m54 ,my husb& 0 a good & consi/5t ,mormon1 & v mu* l ! re/ ( 8 bre?r5 9 ^! matt]s2 & ! bre?r51 kn[+ !mselves h[ he felt1 sympa?iz$ ) him1 & urg$ him on1 &1 by e means 9 _! p[]1 aid$ him 9 8 noble attempts to c>ry out 8! comm&s ( ,god60 ,"o ev5+1 :5 he came home1 he seem$ pre-occupi$1 z if "s matt] ( importance 7 tr\bl+ 8 m9d4 ,?is set me ?9k+1 too4 ,i saw t he want$ to say some?+ to me1 & ,i wait$ pati5tly4 8,i am go+ to ! ball10 he pres5tly rem>k$1 8& ,i am go+ alone1 = ,bro!r ,brigham wi%es me to meet him !re40 ,i knew at once :at 0 pass+ 9 8 m9d1 & d>$ n "q him4 ,he w5t & saw ,brigham4 ,:at pass$ betwe5 !m ,i d n "k2 b1 :5 my husb& return$1 he intimat$ to me t x _h be5 arrang$ t he %\ld take ano!r wife4 ,! idea t "s day ano!r wife w\ld be add$ to our h\sehold 0 ev] pres5t 9 my m9d1 b1 someh[1 :5 ! fact 0 plac$ be=e me 9 s _m unmi/akable words1 my he>t sank )9 me1 & ,i %rank f ! realization t our home 0 at la/ to be desecrat$ by ! f\l pres5ce ( ,polygamy4 ,almo/ fa9t+1 n[ t ! tru? came home to me 9 all its />tl+ reality1 ,i ask$ my husb& :5 he propos$ to take 8 second wife4 8,imm$iately10 he repli$2 8t is to say1 z soon z ,i c40 ,we 7 sil5t = "s "t4 ,my m9d 0 tr\bl$4 ,_h ,i be5 able to consid] ! :ole affair z an outrage ^u humanity 9 g5]al1 & an insult to my sex 9 p>ticul>1 ,i %\ld h repli$ ) scorn & defiance4 ,_h ,i implicitly believ$ 9 ! div9ity ( ! ,revelation1 ,i %\ld h b[$ my head 9 meek submission4 ,b ,i did nei!r ( ^!4 ,! feel+s ( my he>t naturally l$ me to hate ) a mo/ p]fect hatr$ ! v m5tion ( ! ^w ,polygamy1 :ile at ! same "t ,i /ill believ$1 or tri$ to make myself believe1 t ! ,revelation 0 f ,god1 & mu/ !re=e be obey$4 ,su* 0 ! /range & contradictory position 9 :i* ,i 0 plac$4 8,are y n satisfi$ t x is "r = me to take ano!r wife80 my husb& ask$4 8,i h nev] yet really d\bt$ t ! ,revelation 0 f ,god10 ,i repli$1 8= ,i _c believe t any man w\ld be s blasphem\s & wick$ z to set =? su* a revelation 9 ,god's "n1 unless he receiv$ x z he said he did4 ,if x is f ,god1 ( c\rse y are "r to obey x2 b if ,i 7 to consult my own feel+s ,i w\ld nev] cons5t to live 9 ,polygamy4 ,i w\ld r risk salvation1 & tell ! ,"l t ,he _h plac$ ^u me a burd5 heavi] t ,i 0 able to be>1 & t ,i reg>d$ ,him z a h>d taskma/]4 ,b :5 ! salvation ( my husb& & *ildr51 to say no?+ ( my own1 is at /ake1 my wi%es & happ9ess g = no?+1 & ,i c only cons5t40 ,f t mom5t ,i felt l a condemn$ crim9al = :om !re 0 n a %ad[ ( hope or a *ance ( escape4 ,c\ld ,i possibly h look$ ^u ! sacr$ obligations ( m>riage z lightly z ,mormonism taught me to reg>d !m1 ,i believe ,i %\ld h brok5 e tie & risk$ ! consequ5ces4 ,b ,i _h v[$ to be fai?ful unto dea?1 & if ?is second m>riage 0 = my husb&'s welf>e1 & = ! salvation ( u & ( our *ildr51 ,i resolv$ to make ! ef=t to subdue my rebelli\s he>t1 or die 9 ! attempt4 ,= ! fir/ "t 9 my life1 ,i ?ank$ ,god t ,i 0 n a man1 & t ! salvation ( my family did n dep5d ^u me2 = if fifty revelations _h comm&$ x1 ,i c\ld n h tak5 ! responsibility ( )]+ "o lov+1 tru/+ he>t4 ,i felt t if su* laws 7 giv5 to u1 our woman's nature ought to h be5 adapt$ to !m1 s t submission to !m might be z mu* a pleasure to u z x 0 to ! m51 & t we might at lea/ feel t we 7 ju/ly dealt )4 ,n long aft] ?is1 my husb& br\ght me a message f ,eliza ,r4 ,sn[4 ,%e want$ me to take tea ) h]1 & he urg$ me to accept ! invitation4 ,i did n want to g1 = ,i knew too well h] object 9 s5d+ = me4 ,%e _h be5 talk+ ) my husb& ab\t me1 ,i felt sure1 & t 0 h[ %e came to s5d ! message by him4 ,i w5t1 h[ev]1 &1 z ,i anticipat$1 %e want$ to talk ) me ab\t ,polygamy1 & to try to conv9ce me t x 0 = our be/ int]e/s t my husb& %\ld take ano!r wife1 & t x 0 q "t he did s4 ,i told h] t he 0 n yet 9 a position to d s4 8,we h q a family10 ,i said1 8& ,i ?9k he %\ld at lea/ be all[$ to wait until he has accumulat$ a little be=e he emb>rasses himself ) new responsibilities40 8,& :]e w\ld ! k+dom ( ,god be10 %e ask$1 8if we _h all talk$ 9 ?is way8 ,let y\r husb& take m wives1 & let !m help him1 & y w feel bless$ 9 keep+ ! comm&s ( ,god40 8,!re w\ld be no good 9 my husb& tak+ ano!r wife10 ,i said1 8:ile ,i feel z ,i d n[4 ,to be acceptable to ! ,"l1 a sacrifice %\ld be made will+ly & 9 a prop] _s1 & ,i d n ?9k t "u pres5t circum/ances x is prop] = him to d ?is ?+40 8,let him be ! judge ( t10 %e repli$2 8d n seek to control him2 he alone is responsible1 & !re=e let him d z he ?9ks be/40 8,b10 ,i said1 8he himself does n want ano!r wife yet40 ,b ,i spoke ) hesitation1 = my he>t misgave me4 8,y are mi/ak510 %e answ]$2 8y\r husb& is a v good man1 & desires to live 8 religion1 & x is a great grief to him to "k t y feel z y d1 & y really mu/ try to ov]come y\r opposition4 ,if y _h a loaf ( bread to make1 & y made x1 & x 0 pron\nc$ good1 d y ?9k x w\ld be ( ! slighte/ consequ5ce :at feel+s agitat$ y\r m9d :ile y 7 mak+ x1 s long z x 0 well made8 ,s x is ) ! ,"l4 ,he does n c>e ) :at feel+s y give y\r husb& ano!r wife1 s long z y d s40 ,?is 0 a mis]able attempt at reason+1 to say no?+ ( its falsity2 & not)/&+ all %e said1 ,i /ill felt t no bless+ w\ld ev] att5d an unwill+ sacrifice1 & ,i told h] s4 ,%e spoke to me v k9dly1 h[ev]1 & tri$ to enc\rage me1 & sugge/$ t ,c>rie w\ld be a v prop] p]son = my husb& to m>ry4 ,i _h n[ no long] any d\bt 9 my m9d t x _h be5 all 8arrang$10 & t opposition on my "p w\ld be all 9 va94 ,i 0 indignant at ?is1 = ,i believ$ t1 z ! ,revelation itself said1 ,i--! fir/ wife--ought fir/ to h be5 consult$4 ,?is1 h[ev]1 ,i subsequ5tly f\nd 0 z false z ! sy/em itself4 ,i return$ home1 pond]+ ov] :at _h be5 said to me1 ) a feel+ ( int5se we>9ess oppress+ my he>t4 ,i did n "k :at to ?9k4 ,x appe>$ to me t e "o _h det]m9$ t ,c>rie %\ld be my husb&'s second wife2 & ,i n[ believ$1 ) my talkative fri5d1 t ,brigham ,"y _h c]ta9ly int5d$ x f ! beg9n+4 ,i felt t ,i w\ld r t he %\ld m>ry almo/ any "o else ?an h]2 = ,i felt c]ta9 t ,i %\ld hate any woman :om he might m>ry1 no matt] h[ mu* ,i might h lov$ h] be=e4 ,b my m9d 0 soon reliev$ ( its tr\ble respect+ poor ,c>rie2 =1 z ,i be=e m5tion$1 h] fail+ heal? =bade all ?\ghts ( m>riage1 & my husb&1 aft] a %ort "t1 nev] spoke to me ab\t h]4 ,! real cause ( my di/ress1 h[ev]1 0 by no means remov$2 x 0 det]m9$1 )\t appeal1 t my husb& %\ld1 not)/&+ any imp$im5t to ! contr>y1 take ano!r wife1 :oev] t *os5 "o might be4 ,my appreh5sions1 !re=e1 7 n remov$2 !y 7 only turn$ 9 ano!r direction4 ,,*apt] ,,xxx4 ,,trials--,,! ,,second ,,wife ,,*os5--,,%ad[s ,,( ,,life4 ,x is a cu/om among ! ,mormon m>ri$ m5--^? at lea/ :o make any pret5sions to do+ :at is "r1 & :o wi% to sp>e ! feel+s ( _! wives z mu* z ! degrad+ sy/em w all[--to make x appe> z if ! second wife 7 *os5 by ! fir/1 & !y g ?r\gh ! =m ( consult+ ) h] z to :o %all be select$4 ,! husb& w m5tion ! names ( sev]al eligible "y ladies1 among :om is sure to be ! "o ^u :om he has already set 8 affections4 ,if ! wife %\ld try to make h]self agreeable by sugge/+ "o or ano!r ( ^! "y ladies1 "s objection is sure to be rais$4 ,"o is too ?\ghtless2 ! relations ( ano!r are n q s agreeable z !y might be2 & ! temp] ( a ?ird is said to be n v good4 ,9 ?is way1 "o aft] ano!r is tak5 (f ! li/1 until only "o rema9s--! bright p>ticul> /> ( :om all along ! husb& has be5 ?9k+--& if ! wife %\ld make any objections to ?is "o1 ! husb&1 ( c\rse1 has a ready answ]4 ,9 mo/ cases h] extreme y\? is an excuse = ev]y?+2 %e w h pl5ty ( "t to le>n1 & w be ! m ready to be taught4 ,:5 once !y h obta9$ ! reluctant cons5t ( _! wives1 x is a/oni%+ h[ bright & *e]ful ^! ,mormon husb&s become4 ,not)/&+ all t !y h said to ! contr>y1 x is evid5t t ,polygamy is no trial to _! fai?4 ,!y say t x is z great a cross to !m z x is to _! wives1 b someh[ or o!r !y take v k9dly to x4 ,x 0 soon settl$ :o %\ld be ! hon\r$ maid5 to :om my husb& %\ld pay 8 addresses4 ,h] "n 0 ,bel9da1 & %e 0 ! daught] ( ! ,apo/le ,p>ley ,p4 ,pratt4 ,i ( c\rse 0 n expect$ to ask any que/ions or ev9ce any curiosity respect+ ! girl or my husb&'s relations t[>ds h]4 ,i _h giv5 my cons5t1 ,i _h act$ my "p1 or at lea/ all ! "p t 0 expect$ ( me2 ,i _h fulfill$ my duty z a ,mormon fir/ wife :5 ,i agre$ to ano!r wife be+ tak52 &1 h5ce=?1 all t transpir$ 0--s ! ,eld]s w\ld h said--no bus9ess ( m9e4 ,my husb&'s int5d$ c]ta9ly 0 v "y--almo/ too "y = a bride %e w\ld h be5 consid]$ 9 any o!r community--& ,i mu/ 9 fairness all[ t %e 0 v h&some4 ,x is ( ! utmo/ importance t a ,mormon girl %\ld m>ry "y4 ,wom5 ev]y:]e are nev] anxi\s to gr[ old1 b among ! ,mormons age is especially dread$ by ! wom52 = :5 ye>s h robb$ !m ( _! p]sonal attractions1 9 mo/ cases !y lose all hold ^u _! husb&s' affections1 & f9d !mselves oblig$ to give place to pretti] & m y\?ful rivals4 ,a woman's position 9 ! _w to come1 z ,i h be=e m5tion$1 dep5ds1 s ! ,eld]s say1 v mu* ^u ! numb] ( *ildr5 %e has borne 9 ?is2 x is1 !re=e1 a consid]ation ( ! v fir/ importance t %e %\ld m>ry z e>ly 9 life z possible1 & ?is obligation is nev] = a mom5t ov]look$ by ! ref9$ & pure-m9d$ ,mormon m54 ,& n[ began ! 8pa9ful task0 ( woo+ ! "y lady4 ,my husb& told me t x 0 8a v pa9ful duty10 & z an ob$i5t wife ,i felt b\nd to believe him4 ,x 01 ( c\rse1 no pleasure to him to pay 8 addresses to an int]e/+ "y girl2 x 0 no anxiety to be ) h] :i* made him ha/5 away to ! damsel's h\se ( an ev5+4 ,oh1 de>1 no6 x 0 pure pr9ciple1 love = ! k+dom ( ,god1 & 8a v pa9ful task60 ,he seem$1 h[ev]1 to be> x rem>kably well1 & manife/$ a zeal :i* 0 p]fectly a/oni%+ to me1 consid]+ ! circum/ances4 ,9 fact1 ,i felt x my duty to re/ra9 him a little = ! sake ( 8 heal?1 = he seem$ s anxi\s to p]=m 8 8task0 prop]ly t he c\ld sc>cely sp>e "t to take 8 meals2 b1 reg>dless ( 8 own feel+s1 he did n pay mu* att5tion to my sugge/ions4 ,b1 deeply z ,i sympa?iz$ ) my husb&1 !re 7 times :5 ,i felt t m9e 0 inde$ no imag9>y sorr[1 & t no?+ c\ld lull ! /orm t _h ga!r$ 9 my brea/4 ,! affliction :i* ,i _h s long dread$ 0 n[ "r at my door1 & ! mo/ pa9ful feel+s agitat$ my m9d4 ,sometimes ,i %ut myself up 9 my own room & tri$ to reason ) myself2 !n ,i w\ld kneel1 & pray1 & weep ) passionate emotion2 & aga9 ,i w\ld pace ! floor1 my he>t ov]fl[+ ) ang] & indignation4 ,i nev]1 at t "t1 knew :at x 0 to be happy1 = ,i felt t ,i 0 a burd5 & h9drance to my husb&1 & ,i long$ to die4 ,i _h lov$ him s devot$ly t ,i c\ld n ev5 n[ ca/ him f my he>t1 &1 ?\gh ,i felt bitt]ly my position1 ,i believ$ t he w\ld n will+ly w\nd me1 & t he 0 act+ f ! pure/ ( motives4 ,b x 0 all 9 va94 ,i c\ld n *ange my nature1 & my he>t w\ld rebel4 ,x w\ld be impossible = me to tell ! ?\s& annoyances & indignities to :i* ,i 0 =c$ to submit--trials :i* might appe> too trifl+ ev5 to "n1 b :i* to a wife1 "u su* circum/ances1 7 crosses :i* %e f\nd x h>d en\gh to be>4 ,my husb& knew no?+ ( ^! ?+s1 &1 _h he done s1 x is m ?an probable t he w\ld h consid]$ x weakness 9 me to be tr\bl$ ab\t matt]s ( su* small consequ5ce--little actions & fooli% words :i* he w\ld h said ,i ought to h treat$ ) contempt4 ,x 0 easy to say t1 b n s easy to d4 ,let any wife picture to h]self h[ %e w\ld feel1 if1 aft] s*ool+ h] he>t to submission1 aft] realiz+ t %e 0 no long] to be fir/ & de>e/ 9 h] husb&'s affections1 %e 7 to be con/antly he>+ ! fri5ds & relations ( ! "y girl to :om h] husb& 0 engag$1 boa/+ ( 8 devotion to h]1 & op5ly express+ _! belief t he _h nev] lov$ be=e6 ,h[ w\ld any wife be pleas$ if1 :5ev] h] husb&'s int5d$ receiv$ a valuable pres5t f him1 %e 7 p>ticul>ly in=m$ ( ! fact1 & a ?\s& little aggravat+ details 7 add$ to make h]1 if possible1 m mis]able8 ,a woman c n]ve h]self to endure almo/ any?+1 & outw>dly %e may conceal h] feel+s1 b !re are limits beyond :i* endurance is n possible4 ,a *ance meet+ ) ! girl :o has sup]s$$ h] 9 h] husb&'s love1--or worse /ill1 %\ld %e *ance to surprise ! affectionate c\ple tte--tte1--is suffici5t to dispel all h] good resolutions & to de/roy t tranquillity ( m9d :i* %e f9ds x s difficult to pres]ve4 ,%e becomes sick at he>t1 n]v\s1 & entirely unfitt$ = h] duties4 ,i h frequ5tly he>d ,mormon wom5 say t1 not)/&+ _! husb&s _h be5 = _m ye>s polygami/s1 !y c\ld nev] see ! o!r wives )\t a feel+ ( ang] & indignation aris+ 9 _! he>ts4 ,i "k t 9 my own case ,i nev] became reconcil$ to ! sy/em4 ,my husb& 0 call$ away to ! ,ea/]n ,/ates ^u bus9ess1 & 8 m>riage 0 po/pon$4 ,i ?\ght t ! pres5t w\ld be a good "t to %[ h] "s little att5tions1 :i* ,i believ$ x 0 my duty to d4 ,! idea ( com+ 9 contact ) h] 0 c]ta9ly n at all pleasant2 b ,i felt t x 0 only "r = me to act 9 a fri5dly mann] t[>ds h]1 h[ev] pa9ful x might be4 ,%e 0 ! cause ( mu* sorr[ to me1 b ,i c\ld n blame h]1 = %e _h be5 born & br\ght up 9 ! sy/em1 &1 ( c\rse1 suppos$ x true4 ,bel9da 0 a v nice girl1 &1 "u o!r circum/ances1 ,i believe ,i %\ld h lik$ h] v mu*4 ,i look$ ^u h] z little m ?an a *ild1 & my husb& has frequ5tly told me t he also reg>d$ h] 9 t light2 b to me x 0 ( small consequ5ce t he ?\ght ( h] z a *ild1 s long z he act$ t[>ds h] z a woman4 ,n[ t he 0 away f home1 !re 0 no dang] t %e w\ld meet him1 s ,i invit$ h] 9 a fri5dly way to call ^u me4 ,%e came1 & ,i _h "o or two o!r ladies pres5t1 = ,i 0 n l my husb& 9 t p>ticul>--,i _h no anxiety to be alone ) h]4 ,my ef=t to cultivate a fri5dly feel+ t[>ds h] 0 n v successful4 ,!re 0 a coldness & re/ra9t on bo? sides :i* we c\ld n ov]come1 & ,i felt n a little relief :5 ! ev5+ 0 ov]4 ,subsequ5tly ,i r5ew$ ! attempt1 b to no purpose2 h] v pres5ce 9 my h\se1 & among my *ildr51 seem$ 9 itself an insult to me4 ,dur+ my husb&'s abs5ce my poor fri5d ,c>rie ,grant _h be5 daily gr[+ worse 9 heal?4 ,i _h once ask$ my husb& if !re 0 any tru? 9 ! rum\rs t ,i _h he>d ( 8 atta*m5t to h]1 b he _h assur$ me t !re 0 no f\ndation = !m4 ,poor ,c>rie6 ,h]s 0 a %ort & unhappy life2 ev5 h] little dream ( love 0 ov]cl\d$ by disappo9tm5t4 ,%e 0 n[ con/antly conf9$ to h] room1 & :5ev] x 0 possible ,i us$ to call ^u h]1 & attempt$ to make h] feel m happy & *e]ful4 ,%e us$ to ask me to talk ) h] ab\t ,mormonism4 8,y "k10 %e said1 8t ,i h nev] kn[n any o!r religion1 & ,i believe t ?is is "r1 ?\gh x does n make me happy4 ,my fa!r lov$ ,mormonism s mu* t ,i feel x mu/ be "r2 ! fault is 9 my own evil nature1 t does n b5d to ! w ( ,heav540 ,"o day %e said to me3 8,i am gett+ worse1 ,si/] ,/5h\se1 & ,i am glad ( x1 = ,i %all die4 ,i am ( no good "h--!re is no?+ = me to d2 if ,i liv$1 ,i %\ld only cause tr\ble2 x is bett] z x is40 8,c>rie10 ,i said1 8y mu/ n talk l t4 ,y are /ill v "y1 & probably w live = _m ye>s1 & y d n "k :at future may lie be=e y40 8,d n blame me too mu*10 %e repli$1 8= ,i am n ! only unhappy girl 9 ! city4 ,i "k _m girls :o are v mis]able4 ,m>ri$ wom5 ?9k t !y are ! only ones :o suff]1 :ile we girls "k t n[h]e ^u ! face ( ! e>? c be f\nd su* an unhappy set z we are4 ,:y did ,brigham ,"y keep me f go+ to my fri5ds 9 ! ,ea/8 ,i %\ld h be5 happi] !n2 ,i %\ld h felt bett]4 ,b n[ ,i want to die1 & ,i am we>y wait+ = dea?40 ,9 ?is melan*oly mood ,i f\nd h] "o day1 :5 %e appe>$ p>ticul>ly sad4 ,%e _h be5 ill !n ab\t t5 mon?s2 b h] lov+ blue eyes 7 j z bright z ev]1 & ,i c\ld see v little *ange 9 h]1 except t %e 0 n able n[ to leave h] c\* )\t assi/ance1 & %e spoke z if x fatigu$ h] v mu*4 ,x 0 q impossible to ar\se h] f ! /ate ( melan*oly into :i* %e _h fall51 & x seem$ to me t %e c\ld n la/ long4 ,i (f]$ to take h] to my h\se1 & said ,i w\ld nurse h] !re & take c>e ( h]2 b %e said %e 0 v k9dly treat$ by h] fa!r's family1 & did n wi% to *ange4 ,%e seem$ to cl+ to me z if %e c\ld n be> t ,i %\ld leave h]1 & %e told me %e _h some?+ on h] m9d t tr\bl$ h]2 %e want$ to h a long talk ) me ab\t x1 b n t day1 %e said4 ,z ! end 0 fa/ approa*+1 %e "o day said3 8,i want to tell y n[1 ,si/] ,/5h\se1 :at ,i spoke ( be=e1 if y are will+ to li/5 & w n be angry ) any?+ ,i say4 ,rememb]1 ,i am dy+1 or ,i nev] w\ld speak to y z ,i am go+ to40 ,i told h] ( my great love = h]1 & t no?+ t %e c\ld say w\ld *ange t love4 8,y d n "k :at ,i want to ask y1 or y w\ld n say s10 %e repli$2 8& ,i s dread to lose y\r love t ,i am afraid to tell y :at is 9 my m9d4 ,b y "k t ,i am dy+1 & y w n be v h>d ) me40 ,%e 0 !n sil5t = "s "t1 z if too mu* fatigu$ to cont9ue ! conv]sation4 8,no1 ,i _c tell y to-day10 %e said at la/2 8,i want y to love me "o day long]40 ,i urg$ h] n to d\bt t my love t[>ds h] c\ld nev] *ange1 & told h] t x 0 bett] = h] to speak at once & relieve h] m9d4 ,%e took my h&1 & look$ long & t5d]ly at me1 & !n %e said3 8,i w tell y all2 & if y\r love c /& t te/1 !n inde$ y d love me40 ,i enc\rag$ h]1 & %e began3 8,w\ld y hate me if ,i told y t ,i lov$ y\r husb&80 8,no10 ,i repli$1 8,i w\ld n hate y1 ,c>rie40 ,i said no m1 = x seem$ to me t x w\ld be wrong ( me to tell h] ( my suspicions1 & all t ,i _h suff]$ at ! ?\ght t my husb& _h conceiv$ an affection = h]4 8,c y possibly answ] me z calmly z t80 %e said4 8,i ?\ght t ! v m5tion ( su* a ?+ w\ld almo/ kill y1 = ,i saw h[ mu* y lov$ y\r husb&1 &1 ah6 h[ ,i h suff]$ at ! ?\ght ( tell+ y6 ,b t is n all ,i want$ to say1 or ,i ne$ nev] h spok5 to y at all4 ,i want$ to ask y to d me "o la/ k9dness1 & !n ,i ?9k ,i %all die happy4 ,y "k t we h be5 taught t ,polygamy is absolutely necess>y to salvation1 & if ,i 7 to die )\t be+ seal$ to "s man ,i c\ld n possibly ent] ! cele/ial k+dom4 ,my fri5ds wi%$ me to be seal$ to "o ( ! au?orities ( ! ,*ur*1 b ,i _c be> ! idea ( be+ seal$ to a man :om ,i d n love4 ,i love y\r husb&1 & ,i want y to promise t ,i %all be seal$ to him4 ,if ,i _h ?\ght t ,i %\ld recov]1 ,i nev] w\ld h let y "k ?is1 = ,i w\ld n live to give y sorr[4 ,b1 :5 ,i am gone1 w y kneel by y\r husb&'s side 9 ! ,end[m5t ,h\se1 & be m>ri$ to him = me8 ,w x pa9 y mu* to d t = me1 ,si/] ,/5h\se80 ,i felt s /rangely z ,i li/5$ to all ?is1 t ,i c\ld n utt] a s+le ^w1 & %e cont9u$3 8,we %all !n be toge!r 9 et]nity1 & ,i am happy at ! ?\ght ( t1 = ,i ?9k ,i love y ev5 bett] ?an ,i love him4 ,& !n ,i believe we %all h ov]come all our e>?ly feel+s & %all be prep>$ to live t cele/ial law1 & p]haps we may pref] x1 = no d\bt we %all "k no unhapp9ess !re40 ,! ex]tion ( talk+ seem$ to be too mu* = h]1 & %e rema9$ sil5t = "s "t4 ,i felt a%am$ t ,i _h all[$ my feel+s to influ5ce me at su* a mom5t1 = :ile %e _h be5 speak+ ,i _h all[$ my ?\ghts to travel back ov] ! pa/ ye>2 & n[ t %e admitt$ h] love = my husb&1 v _m circum/ances came pa9fully to my recollection & confirm$ all t %e said4 ,i resolv$1 h[ev]1 n to "q h]1 b to all[ h] to tell me j :at %e pleas$4 ,s ,i knelt d[n by h] side & :isp]$ into h] e> a solemn promise t ,i w\ld d all t %e desir$4 ,poor girl6 h[ ,i felt = h]6 ,:5 ,i _h giv5 h] ?is pl$ge1 %e appe>$ mu* reliev$ & told me freely all t _h pass$ betwe5 my husb& & h]self1 & %e said %e _h left my h\se simply because %e c\ld n endure to cause me any sorr[4 ,i told h] ( my husb&'s contemplat$ m>riage ) ,bel9da ,pratt1 & %e appe>$ a good deal tr\bl$ at x4 8,let me be second10 %e said1 8= !n ,i %all feel t ,i am ne>] to y1 & ,i want y always to ?9k t1 :5 y die1 if ,i h ! p[]1 ,i %all be ! fir/ to meet y & take y by ! h&40 ,?us we talk$ toge!r = a long "t1 & x 0 ) pa9ful int]e/ t ,i li/5$ to :at %e said4 ,x 0 a s+ul> int]view--a wife receiv+ f a "y girl ! confession t %e lov$ h] husb&2 t he _h fully return$ h] affection1 & _h ev5 talk$ ) h] ab\t m>riage2 ! girl reque/+ ! wife to be m>ri$ = h] to h] own husb&2 & ! wife1 full ( t5d] love t[>ds ! girl1 freely giv+ h] a promise t %e w\ld d s4 ,9 my sorr[ at p>t+ f h]1 & ! great affection t ,i felt t[>ds h]1 all feel+s ( jeal\sy 7 utt]ly =gott54 ,be=e ,i left ,i said3 8,c>rie1 :e!r y live or die1 y %all be m>ri$ to my husb&1 if he ev] ent]s into ,polygamy2 & ,i say ?is al?\gh ,i d n d\bt t he w d s1 & at ! same "t ,i ?9k t y w live40 ,i really believ$ t %e might recov]2 = n[ ?is burd5 0 (f h] m9d1 ,i ?\ght %e w\ld h /r5g? to subdue h] sickness1 & at fir/ x seem$ z if ?is w\ld really be ! case4 ,! next day %e appe>$ s mu* bett] t h] fri5ds all became hopeful1 & :5 ,i told h] t ,i _h writt5 to my husb& & _h told him1 t s9ce he _h made up 8 m9d to g into ,polygamy1 ,i wi%$ him to m>ry h]1 %e appe>$ s happy1 & %[$ h] joy 9 s _m innoc5t ways1 t ,i c\ld n be angry4 8,h[ d y ?9k he w feel10 %e said1 8:5 he gets y\r lett]8 ,d ,i look pretty well to-day8 ,& d y ?9k t if ,i cont9ue to get bett] ,i %all h rega9$ my looks be=e he comes home80 8,oh10 ,i said1 hum\r+ h]1 8y w look q pretty by ! "t he returns2 ,i %all be really jeal\s ( y40 ,9 an in/ant ! ?\ght ( h[ mu* all m5tion ( h] 9 connexion ) my husb& mu/ be pa9ful to me1 occurr$ to h] m9d1 & %e begg$ me to =give h] = h] c>elessness4 8,no10 said %e1 8,i w try nev] to give y pa91 & y mu/ always love me40 ,= "s days ?is improvem5t 9 h] appe>ance cont9u$1 & ,i ?\ght & hop$ t we %\ld soon h h] r\nd aga94 ,i really wi%$ h] to live n[1 = if x 0 absolutely necess>y t ,mr4 ,/5h\se mu/ practise ,polygamy1 ,i w\ld pref] t1 r ?an any o!r woman1 he %\ld m>ry h]1 = ,i felt t %e w\ld und]/& me z no "o else c\ld4 ,?us1 aft] all1 ,i really _h select$ a second wife = my husb&6 ,b ! *ange 9 poor ,c>rie's looks 0 altoge!r deceptive4 ,news came to me "o morn+ t %e 0 v mu* worse1 & ,i ha/5$ to see h]4 ,z ,i ent]$ ! room1 h] eyes bright5$1 & %e said3 8,i am glad t y h come1 ,si/] ,/5h\se1 = ,i feel t ,i am go+ soon40 ,!n1 aft] a pause1 %e add$1 hold+ up h] h&s--8,d y "k :at t means80 ,! f+]nails 7 turn+ blue4 8,t means dea?10 %e said2 8& x is bett] s40 ,aft] ?is we conv]s$ toge!r = "s "t ^u v>i\s topics ( special int]e/ to h] 9 ! position 9 :i* %e !n 01 & pres5tly %e said1 z if ask+ a "q1 8,y w keep y\r promise1 ,i "k40 8,c>rie10 ,i answ]$1 8if !re is any?+ t ,i c say or d t w make y feel m c]ta9 t ,i w keep my promise1 if ,i live to d s1 tell me1 & ,i w d x40 8,i am afraid10 %e said1 8t1 aft] all1 he nev] lov$ me4 ,he piti$ my lonely situation & 0 s k9d & good to me1 t ,i le>n$ to love him1 & ^? m$dlesome si/]s tri$ to get him to m>ry me1 b ,i w\ld n be false to y4 ,!n we bo? ?\ght x 0 be/ n to tell y1 z x w\ld make y grieve1 al?\gh x nev] c\ld take place4 ,ev5 n[1 _h ,i n kn[n t ,i 0 dy+1 ,i nev] w\ld h told y4 ,b y w n love me less :5 y ?9k ( me aft] ,i am gone80 ,i told h] t my affection = h] w\ld nev] *ange1 & ,i talk$ ) h]1 & tri$ to soo! h] dy+ mom5ts1 & to make h] feel less lonely2 & ?us ! morn+ pass$ away4 ,9 ! aft]noon %e 0 sil5t & app>5tly unconsci\s1 & be=e ano!r day dawn$ %e _h pass$ away to h] re/4 ,,*apt] ,,xxxi4 ,,m>riage ,,= ,,! ,,dead--,,ent]+ ,,into ,,polygamy--,,! ,,new ,,wife4 ,! foll[+ ev5+ ,i w5t r\nd aga9 to ! h\se1 to gaze once m at ! =m ( my de> fri5d4 ,%e 0 ly+ 9 h] c(f91 dress$ = ! grave1 & ,i look$ at h] long & t5d]ly z %e re/$ sleep+ !re4 ,h] features 7 peaceful & natural z if 9 slumb]2 an expression ( calm tranquillity hov]$ ar\nd h] c\nt5ance1 & 9 ! repose ( dea? %e seem$ almo/ happy4 ,poor girl6 h] life _h be5 %ort inde$1 & %e _h kn[n b little pleasure2 b ,i believ$ t %e 0 n[ beyond ! rea* ( e>?ly sorr[ & e>?ly disappo9tm5t1 happy 9 t l& :]e suff]+ & te>s are all unkn[n4 8,!re %all be no night !re10 ! ,"l ( t o!r life _h said4 ,sorr[ & sigh+ %all flee away f t bright & glori\s l&2 & ! grief & pa91 :i* on e>? are ! portion ( s _m tri$ & we>y he>ts1 %all f9d no entrance into t et]nal re/ :i* our ,fa!r 9 heav5 has prep>$ = u beyond ! floods ( dea?4 ,oh1 bett] f>6 ,i ?\ght1 x is t ?us %e %\ld pass away4 ,true1 %e has se5 b little ( life1 & has n ta/$ _m ( its joys2 b1 z a comp5sation1 h[ mu* has %e be5 sp>$6 ,%e 0 s g5tle & s s5sitive1 s unfit to battle ) ! /]n realities ( exi/5ce1 t ,i felt %e _h ga9$ r ?an lo/ 9 be+ tak5 away 9 ! morn+ ( h] life4 ,i n[ expect$ v soon to be call$ ^u to und]go ! mo/ pa9ful ordeal t any wife c be requir$ to pass ?r\gh3 ,i 0 to give my husb& ano!r wife--su* is ! sacrifice dem&$ ( e ,mormon woman4 ,! ?\ght ( do+ ?is 0 worse ?an dea? to me4 ,i felt injur$1 humiliat$ & degrad$ by x1 & yet ,i /ill tri$ to believe t x 0 ! w ( ,god1 & mu/ !re=e be "r4 ,to me1 ?is outrage ^u all ! pure/ feel+s ( womanhood seem$ m l ! w ( m5--m5 ( ! base/ & mo/ unholy passions4 ,x 0 repulsive to me 9 :atev] =m x 0 pres5t$1 b /ill ,i reproa*$ my own rebelli\s he>t = feel+ s1 = ,i _h be5 told t ! ways ( ! ,"l 7 pa/ f9d+ out1 &1 h[ev] unlike ,him ?is ,revelation might appe>1 we ,mormon wom5 _h be5 taught t x 0 our duty to b5d our wills & to suff] 9 unque/ion+ & uncompla9+ sil5ce4 ,z ! "t approa*$1 ,i felt l a condemn$ crim9al await+ ! day ( execution4 ,a s5se ( appreh5sion1 a dread ( com+ evil1 0 ev] pres5t to my m9d1 & ev]y?+ appe>$ to me ?r\gh ! m$ium ( my griefs4 ,to a c]ta9 ext5t1 my husb& also suff]$1 = x w\ld be impossible1 ,i ?9k1 = any man to see 8 wife suff]+ s int5sely )\t feel+ = h]1 & ,i sometimes believ$ t 8 sympa?y = me 0 s great1 t1 if he _h d>$1 he w\ld ev5 !n h refus$ to obey ! c\nsel ( ! ,prie/hood4 ,!n1 too1 he _h a little tr\ble ( 8 own1 = he began to realize t ?is innovation ^u ! sanctity ( our home w\ld make a great *ange 9 8 future--8 fre$om w\ld be gone4 ,h[ev] gratify+ x may be to a man's feel+s to "k t !re is no limit to 8 privileges1 & t he is always at lib]ty--no matt] h[ _m wives he may already possess--to fall 9 love ) e pretty girl he meets1 & m>ry h] if %e cons5ts2 yet e intellig5t man mu/ be consci\s t x c be no easy matt] to keep peace betwe5 _m wives 9 "o h\se1 & t1 if he wi%es to act rightly by all1 he mu/ tra9 himself to be scrupul\sly j1 nev] %[+ any p>tiality 9 look or de$1 or ev5 by a ^w4 ,!re are _m su* m5 among ! ,mormons4 ,!y are consci5ti\s & good m51 :o try to live _! religion1 b :o at ! same "t desire to act k9dly t[>ds _! wives4 ,my husb& began to realize ! great responsibility t he 0 ab\t to take ^u himself1 &1 see+ 8 ?\ghtful & tr\bl$ look1 ,i tri$ to hide my own feel+s2 = e true wife kn[s t no?+ s p[]fully ar\ses a woman to /ruggle ) h] own sorr[s z ! k t h] husb& is unhappy4 ,! dread$ day at l5g? arriv$1 ! day :i* = s long1 & ) su* pa9ful =ebod+s1 ,i _h anticipat$4 ,i _h sp5t a v wakeful & unhappy night1 & felt v sick & n]v\s1 = ,i 0 ab\t to become a "m1 & my heal? 0 any?+ b /rong4 ,i h>dly felt z if ,i %\ld h c\rage to g ?r\gh t day4 ,i 01 h[ev]1 compell$ to n]ve myself to ! task1 & ,i began to make my prep>ations = go+ to ! ,end[m5t ,h\se4 ,! only ?+ t gave me /r5g? 0 ! ?\ght t my husb& _h cons5t$ t ,i %\ld g ?r\gh ! c]emony ( be+ m>ri$ to him t day = ,c>rie2 = ev5 !n ,i suppos$ t ^? :o w\ld be m>ri$ 9 heav5 mu/ fir/ be m>ri$ on e>?1 & t1 too1 by ^? :o _h receiv$ au?ority f on high4 ,ev] s9ce ,i _h fir/ embrac$ ,mormonism ,i _h be5 entirely cut (f f ,g5tile society1 al?\gh liv+ 9 ! ,g5tile _w4 ,abroad1 & also :5 9 ,new ,york1 ! c>es ( a family kept me v mu* at home1 & ! cont9ual /ate ( appreh5sion 9 :i* ,i 0 r5d]$ me av]se to visit+ among fri5ds4 ,?us x 0 t ,i nev] conv]s$ freely ) any "o :o c\ld h in=m$ me tru?fully ( ! orig9 ( ,mormonism1 & consequ5tly ,i brood$ ov] my religion z a melan*oly fact2 b1 ?\gh ) mom5ts ( weakness & wav]+1 ,i nev] ?or\ghly d\bt$ its div9e orig94 ,! t]rible sacrifice :i* 0 ab\t to be requir$ ( me might1 ,i ?\ght1 be pa9ful to make1 b x 0 no less ! w ( ,god4 ,i mu/ submit1 :atev] ! ef=t might co/ me4 ,! morn+ 0 bright & lovely--a morn+ calculat$ to inspire happy hopes & pleasant feel+s2 b to me x br\ght no?+ b fe> & trembl+4 ,ev5 ! innoc5t prattle ( my *ildr5 annoy$ me1 & !y1 n kn[+ h[ deeply ,i 0 suff]+1 look$ at me ) wond] 9 _! eyes4 ,oh1 ,i ?\ght1 surely my husb& w at l5g? compreh5d ! greatness ( ! love ,i be> him8 surely he w n[ appreciate ! sacrifice ,i make = 8 sake & = my religion8 ,ev5 n[1 if ,i did n "k t he believes ?is doctr9e to be true1 & he w\ld feel condemn$ if1 ?r\gh any opposition ( m9e1 he 7 n all[$ to practise x1 ,i w\ld at ! la/ mom5t da% ?is bitt] cup f my lips & take my *ance ( ! consequ5ces 9 a future /ate6 ,utt]ly ca/ d[n & brok5-he>t$1 ,i felt almo/ z if ! ,"l ,himself _h =sak5 me1 & !re 0 no "o to :om ,i c\ld look = aid4 ,i c\ld n g to my husb& 9 t h\r = sympa?y2 = ,i well knew t 8 ?\ghts mu/ be ) 8 int5d$ bride1 & t my sorr[s w\ld only tr\ble him at a "t :5 he mu/ desire to be at peace4 ,besides :i*1 ,i 0 too pr\d to plead = love at a %r9e t ,i felt %\ld rightfully be all my own4 ,& !n1 too1 ,i knew n b :at he might tell h] ( my feel+s2 & x w\ld be too great a humiliation = me %\ld %e ?9k me jeal\s ( ! position :i* %e n[ occupi$1 & h] influ5ce ov] my husb&4 ,) su* feel+s ,i w5t to ! ,end[m5t ,h\se4 ,!re at ! alt> ,i 0 to give pro( ( my ob$i5ce & ( my fai? 9 my religion1 by plac+ ! h& ( ! new wife 9 t ( my husb&4 ,! ?\ght 0 almo/ madness4 ,to h foll[$ my husb& to ! grave w\ld h be5 a t]rible bl[ to me1 b to live to see him ! husb& ( ano!r woman 0 some?+ t seem$ to me beyond endurance4 ,not)/&+ e ef=t ( fai?1 d\bts w\ld arise1 & 9 bitt]e/ angui% ,i ?\ght--?is is m l ! "w ( cruel man ?an ( ,god4 ,:y %\ld man h ?is p[] ov] woman1 & %e s helpless8 ,surely a j & imp>tial ,god c h no?+ to d ) ?is6 ,!re 0 a d>kness be=e my eyes1 &1 /ruggle z ,i might1 ,i c\ld see no ray ( light--no glimm]+ ( hope4 ,fir/1 my husb& 0 m>ri$ to ,miss ,pratt2 & !n to me = ,c>rie6 ,?us ,i fulfill$ my pl$ge to my dep>t$ fri5d4 ,i _h f\nd1 be=e go+ to ! ,end[m5t ,h\se1 t ,i c\ld n h ,c>rie seal$ to my husb& next to me1 = ,bel9da _h object$1 & h] "m _h appeal$ to ,brigham ,"y ab\t x4 ,!y told me t he _h said t ! liv+ _h claims be=e ! dead1 al?\gh my own feel+s w\ld h l$ me to ?9k o!rwise4 ,brigham ,"y p]=m$ ! c]emony4 ,he sat at ! end ( ! alt> & we ?ree knelt d[n--my husb& on "o side1 & ,miss ,pratt & myself on ! o!r4 ,speak+ to me1 ,brigham ,"y ask$3 8,are y will+ to give ?is woman to y\r husb& to be 8 lawful wife = "t & = all et]nity8 ,if y are1 y w signify x by plac+ h] "r h& )9 ! "r h& ( y\r husb&40 ,i did s2 b :at words c describe my feel+s8 ,! angui% ( a :ole lifetime 0 cr[d$ into t "o s+le mom5t4 ,! pa9ful mean+ ( ^? words1 8= all et]nity10 )]$ my s\l1 & ! un5d+ contract :i* my husb& _h made ) ano!r woman 0 practically a divorce f me4 ,i _h n[ laid ev]y?+ ^u ! alt> ( sacrifice1 = ,i _h giv5 away my husb&4 ,:at m c\ld ! ,"l require ( me t ,i 0 n prep>$ to d8 ,illu/ration3 ,,! ,,crisis ,,( ,a ,,life--,,ent]+ ,,into ,,polygamy4 ,to face p4 #bif4 ,i 0 bewild]$ & almo/ beside myself1 & yet ,i _h to hide my feel+s4 ,hope 0 = ev] bani%$ f my life4 ,to :om c\ld ,i look = sympa?y among ^? :o 7 ar\nd me8 ,!y 7 mo/ ( !m m5 :o _h ru?lessly wreck$ ! lives & lac]at$ ! he>ts ( hundr$s ( wom5 be=e my turn came1 & ! sight ( an unhappy wife 0 s common 9 _! exp]i5ce t x 0 m likely to awak5 _! ang] ?an _! pity4 ,i felt ?is in/9ctively1 & ,i resolv$ t !y %\ld nev] "k h[ mu* my poor he>t 0 torn4 ,my husb&1 x is true1 0 !re4 ,my husb&6 ,0 he n n[ ! husb& ( ano!r woman1 & !re=e no long] belong+ to me8 ,i knew t ,i nev] c\ld ov]come my e>ly tea*+ suffici5tly to feel t ?is 0 "r1 ?\gh su* 0 my wret*$ fanaticism t ,i m5tally & v]bally ass5t$ to x4 ,i felt t n[ ,i /ood alone--our union 0 sev]$1 !re c\ld nev] be any cop>tn]%ip betwe5 t o!r wife & myself--no1 nev]6 ,salvation or no salvation1 x 0 impossible t ,i c\ld ev] love h]4 ,f t day ,i began to hide all my sorr[s f my husb&1 & x 0 b v seldom t ,i utt]$ a ^w ( discont5t1 & :5 ,i express$ :at ,i felt1 x 0 9 ang]2 b nev] 9 sorr[ seek+ sympa?y4 ,i rememb] :5 we return$ home--t home :i* _h n[ lo/ its *>m1 = ! "y wife 0 to live !re--my husb& said to me3 8,y h be5 v brave1 b x is n s h>d to be>1 aft] all1 is x80 ,i _h hidd5 my feel+s s well t he really ?\ght t ,i 0 indiff]5t4 ,b dur+ ! rema9d] ( ! day1 h[ ,i wat*$ _! looks & notic$ e ^w6 ,to me _! t5d] tones 7 dagg]s1 pi]c+ my he>t & fill+ me ) a desire to rev5ge myself ^u ! fa!r ( my *ildr54 ,oh1 :at fanatics we ,mormon wom5 h be5 ev] to h believ$ = a s+le mom5t t a j & lov+ ,fa!r & ,god w\ld h giv5 a comm& t 9 almo/ e in/ance has produc$ su* fe>ful results ^u ^? :o %\ld h be5 happy wives & mo!rs1 & consequ5tly ^u _! *ildr56 ,inde$1 ev5 !n x made me feel t !re 0 no ju/ice 9 heav51 if ?is love :i* is ! be/ "p ( woman's nature--?is love t we _h always believ$ 0 a "p ( div9ity itself--?is pr9ciple1 )\t :i* !re w\ld be no?+ wor? liv+ =--if ?is 0 to be our greate/ curse1 & ! woman :o %[$ h]self mo/ actuat$ by ?is g5tle influ5ce 0 to be ! greate/ victim4 ,i felt t day t if ,i c\ld n get away by myself alone & give expression to my ov]*>g$ feel+s1 ,i %\ld c]ta9ly lose my reason4 ,i 0 utt]ly mis]able4 ,x 0 only 9 ! dead ( night1 9 my own *amb]1 t ,i gave way to ! t]rible angui% t 0 consum+ me4 ,god & my own s\l c alone be> witness to :at ,i suff]$ 9 t "t ( woe4 ,t night 0 to me su* z ev5 ! mo/ ,god-=sak5 might pray nev] to "k2 & morn+ dawn$ )\t my hav+ = a mom5t clos$ my eyes4 ,,*apt] ,,xxxii4 ,,dome/ic ,,arrangem5ts ,,( ,,! ,,sa9ts3--,,polygamy ,,f ,a ,,woman',s ,,/&po9t4 ,i 0 n[ to realize p]sonally1 9 my own home life1 :at ,polygamy actually 04 ,hi!rto ,i _h obs]v$ h[ o!r wom5 suff]$1 & h[ o!r m5 treat$ _! wives2 b n[ ! pa9ful reality _h come to my own door1 & ,i 0 to exp]i5ce ! effects ( ! sy/em ^u myself1 &1 in/ead ( not+ ! conduct ( o!r m51 ,i %\ld be able to obs]ve ! *ange :i* ,polygamy might "w 9 my own husb&4 ,h[ little d ! ,mormon m5 "k :at x is 9 ! true/ s5se to h a wife1 ?\gh !y h s _m 8wives0 aft] _! own fa%ion6 ,almo/ imp]ceptibly to ! husb&1 & ev5 to ! wife h]self1 a b>ri] rises betwe5 !m f ! v day t he m>ries ano!r woman4 ,x matt]s n h[ mu* %e believes 9 ! doctr9e ( plural m>riage1 or h[ will+ %e may be to submit to x1 ! fact rema9s ! same4 ,! e/rangem5t beg9s by h] try+ to hide f him all h] secret sorr[s2 = %e feels t :at has be5 done _c be undone n[1 & %e says3 8,i _c *ange x2 nei!r w\ld ,i if ,i c\ld1 because x is ! w ( ,god1 & ,i mu/ be> x2 besides1 :at good w x d to worry my husb& ) all my feel+s8 ,he _c help me2 & is he n ano!r woman's husb&80 ,!n comes1 p]haps1 ! pa9ful ?\ght1 8,i h no long] any desire to confide 9 him40 ,or x may be t %e detects "s famili>ity betwe5 h] husb& & ! o!r wife2 & %e feels bitt]ly t[>ds bo?1 =1 /rive z %e may1 human nature _c be altoge!r cru%$ out4 ,t 0 a "t ( great mis]y to me1 mu* z ,i tri$ to control my feel+s4 ,day by day ,i /rove to hide f my he>t ev5 ! k ( my own unhapp9ess2 & :5 ,i c\ld no long] endure1 ,i w\ld lock myself 9 my room & give v5t to ! angui% t 0 consum+ me4 ,i realiz$1 h[ev]1 t ?is cont9ual conflict ( feel+ 0 unfitt+ me = my duties4 ,ev]y?+ 0 becom+ a trial to me4 ,i c\ld n be> to be spok5 to2 ! prattle ( my *ildr51 t _h always be5 s de> to me1 0 n[ discordant to my feel+s2 & all _! little que/ion+s 7 irksome4 ,i det]m9$ t ?is %\ld no long] be ! case2 ,i w\ld battle ) my own he>t2 ,i w\ld h5ce=? devote my :ole life--wor?less z t life appe>$ to h become--to ! welf>e ( my little ones4 ,?is 0 a conclusion t hundr$s ( wret*$ ,mormon wives h arriv$ at2 & :5 ?is is ! case1 !re is "s hope = !m4 ,b _m give way to despair1 & g d[n brok5-he>t$ to _! graves4 ,h[ t]ribly ^! ,mormon m5 deceive !mselves6 ,:5 peace1 or r quiet1 reigns 9 _! homes1 !y ?9k t ! ,_s ( ,god is !re4 ,b x is n s4 ,x is a calm n l ! g5tle sil5ce ( sleep1 b z ! pa9ful /illness ( dea?--! dea? ( ! he>t's be/ affection & all t is wor? call+ love4 ,all true love has fl$1 & indiff]5ce has tak5 its place4 ,! v *ildr5 feel x4 ,:at d !y1 :at c !y1 c>e ab\t _! fa!r1 :om !y s seldom see8 ,"s wives1 afraid ( creat+ a prejudice aga9/ !mselves & ( be+ =sak5 altoge!r1 deceive _! husb&s1 & make !m believe t !y are satisfi$4 ,x mu/ be admitt$ t1 9 act+ ?us1 ^! wives are n always actuat$ by a fe> ( los+ ! society or love ( _! husb&s1 =1 9 ,polygamy1 love dies a natural dea?2 b x is gall+ to a woman's pride to h x said t %e has be5 ca/ (f = ano!r4 ,!n1 too--& "s wom5 w\ld consid] ?is ! mo/ important reason ( all--! be/ provision is usually made = ! home :]e ! husb& /ops mo/ frequ5tly2 & ! wife1 if n = h] own sake1 at lea/ = h] *ildr5's1 w be anxi\s to h a well-provid$ h\se4 ,?is is only natural4 ,! 8div9e0 plan has always be5 work$ out 9 a v human way4 ,:5 a man has sev]al wives1 !re is1 ( c\rse1 no necessity = him to /ay ) an unhappy or mopi% "o1 z he c always f9d a m pleasant reception else:]e4 ,m5 :o c really believe t wom5 are satisfi$ & happy "u su* a sy/em mu/ be entirely ignorant ( human nature4 ,:5 a man has m ?an "o wife1 8 affections mu/ ( necessity be divid$2 he really has no home 9 ! true/ s5se ( ! ^w2 8 h\ses are simply bo>d+-places4 ,%\ld he h all 8 wives 9 "o h\se1 z is (t5 ! case1 !y are !n all slaves to ! sy/em2 ea* "o is wat*+ ! o!rs1 & !y "k x--try+ to discov] some?+ t c be secretly told to ! husb& to draw away 8 affections f ! re/4 ,:at m mis]able position c\ld be imag9$8 ,!re is1 h[ev]1 no fix$ pr9ciple regulat+ ,mormon m5 9 ! managem5t ( _! families2 e "o is at lib]ty to d z he ?9ks be/1 & sc>cely two families are gov]n$ alike4 ,:5 ,salt ,lake ,city 0 fir/ settl$1 ! p _h to live z be/ !y c\ld1 & a man 0 glad to get ev5 "o ro( "u :i* he & all 8 wives might be %elt]$4 ,n[1 :5 ! husb& is weal?y1 he g5]ally provides sep>ate homes = 8 wives4 ,"s weal?y m51 h[ev]1 /ill h all _! wives & families toge!r4 ,i h 9 my m9d1 z ,i write1 a v prom95t ,mormon1 :o has half-a-doz5 wives2 & he divides 8 "t among !m aft] ?is fa%ion4 ,! fir/ week he /ays ) ! fir/ wife2 ! next week he is ) ! second2 !n he goes back to ! fir/4 ,! f\r? week he passes ) ! ?ird wife2 !n he returns = ano!r week to ! fir/4 ,& ?us he cont9ues to give "o week to ! fir/ wife1 & ! next to "o ( ! o!r five 9 turn1 until he has bless$ !m all ) 8 pres5ce4 ,n[1 x w\ld at a casual glance appe> t ?is fir/ wife has by f> ! l>ge/ %>e ( h] husb&'s society2 b if ! tru? mu/ be told1 x mu/ be admitt$ t ! husb& is n q s g5]\s z he appe>s4 ,! la/ wife ( ?is good man is a "y & pretty girl1 & %e lives ) ! fir/ wife1 & ?us 8 devotion to ! latt] is rew>d$ by ! pres5ce ( ! =m]4 ,ea* ( ! o!r wives has "o week ( 8 society & att5tions 9 e elev5--ab\t five weeks apiece ( companion%ip ) _! husb& 9 ! c\rse ( a :ole ye>4 ,o!r m5 ) ! same numb] ( wives pass con/antly betwe5 "o h\se & ano!r2 !y c nev] be f\nd :5 want$2 _! lives are "o et]nal r\nd1 & !y may be said to h no real abid+ place4 ,9 e settlem5t 9 ,utah1 long1 l[-ro($ h\ses may be se5 ) a r[ ( doors & w9d[s alt]nat+4 ,ev5 9 ,salt ,lake ,city1 mu* z x has *ang$ ( late ye>s1 su* h\ses may /ill be f\nd4 ,to e door & w9d[ !re is1 ( c\rse1 a wife2 & ! furniture ( h] room consi/s ( a b$1 ?ree *airs1 & a table4 ,!n1 if ! man is a v dev\t ,mormon & wi%es to increase 8 k+dom by add+ ano!r wife to ! inhabitants ( ! long _m-door$ h\se1 a waggon-box is s arrang$ z to =m a sleep+ ap>tm5t = ! new com]2 or1 :at is m likely1 "o ( ! old wives is put into ! waggon-box1 & ! new "o takes h] place4 ,a h\se ) two w+s is r a fav\rite /yle ) ^? m51 :o1 to sil5ce _! consci5ce & ! prie/hood1 conclude to take 8j "o extra wife10 & no m4 ,! wives1 ) _! *ildr51 occupy1 respectively1 ea* a w+2 & ! entrance-door op5s into a p>l\r1 :i* s]ves z a reception-room = bo? families4 ,! husb& 9 ?is case sp5ds a week on "o side ( ! h\se & a week on ! o!r1 alt]nately2 & ?us1 by an imp>tial division ( 8 att5tions1 he pres]ves peace 9 8 family4 ,a man :o is com=tably (f c1 ( c\rse1 arrange 8 dome/ic affairs s z to avoid1 z f> z is possible1 ! inconv5i5ces ( ! sy/em1 b a poor man is =c$ to submit to circum/ances4 ,_m m5 h ent]$ into ,polygamy1 ) two1 ?ree1 & ev5 f\r wives1 all1 ) _! *ildr51 liv+ toge!r "u "o ro(--9 "o room--9 ! mo/ disgraceful & b>b>\s mann]2 b ev5 = ?is ! lead]s 7 really m to blame ?an ! poor delud$ m5 !mselves2 = ! comm& to 8,build up ! ,k+dom6--build up ! ,k+dom60--9 o!r words1 take _m wives & raise up l>ge families--has be5 s con/antly & imp]atively insi/$ ^u t good s5se & propriety h at la/ be5 entirely ov]look$4 ,illu/ration3 ,,polygamy ,,9 ,,l[ ,,life--,,! ,,poor ,,man',s ,,family4 ,,polygamy ,,9 ,,high ,,life--,,! ,,prophet',s ,,mansion4 ,to face p4 #cjb4 ,9 a v l>ge h\se1 ) _m wives1 !re is great] safety & peace = ! husb& ?an 9 a small h\se ) only two wives4 ,:5 !re are only two ap>tm5ts1 ! husb&1 if n 9 "o1 is suppos$ to be 9 ! o!r1 & ! neglect$ wife frequ5tly expresses h] op9ion ( h] rival 9 ! opposite room 9 v p[]ful language4 ,sc5es may be witness$ 9 su* h\seholds :i* are too %ock+ to disclose4 ,brigham ,"y 0 consci\s ( ?is :5 he said he 8w\ld /& no m fight+ & scrat*+ ar\nd him02 & yet1 9 ! face ( all ?is1 he d>es to tell ! p t ?is is ! 8,ord] ( ,cele/ial ,m>riage40 ,) _m wives liv+ toge!r 9 a l>ge h\se !re are _m advantages4 ,! :]eab\ts ( ! husb& is n s easily discov]$1 & ! unhappy or jeal\s wife is at a loss to "k ^u :om to v5t h] ire4 ,on ?is acc\nt ev5 m5 ) small means pref] to h ?ree wives in/ead ( two1 z ea* wife1 n kn[+ :i* ( ! o!r two %e ought to hate ! mo/1 divides h] jeal\sy4 ,x takes1 h[ev]1 a wise man to "k h[ to live 9 ,polygamy1 s z to balance all ! conflict+ int]e/s & obta9 a little peace1 if happ9ess is out ( ! "q4 ,:]e ! husb& is a ri* man & has abundant weal? :]e) to supply ! wants ( 8 num]\s wives & *ildr51 & to furni% all ! necess>y accommodation t a gr[+ family dem&s1 mu* ( ! jeal\sy & ill-feel+ insep>able f ,polygamy c1 to a c]ta9 ext5t1 be avoid$4 ,x w\ld be q impossible1 ) any reg>d to propriety1 to relate all ! horrible results ( ?is disgraceful sy/em4 ,x has debas$ ! m9ds & degrad$ ! lives ( good & hone/ m5 & wom51 :ile ^? :o naturally _h a t5d5cy t[>ds evil h become a hundr$ times worse4 ,m>riages h be5 contract$ betwe5 ! ne>e/ relatives2 & old m5 tott]+ on ! br9k ( ! grave h be5 unit$ to little girls sc>cely 9 _! te5s2 :ile unnatural alliances ( e description1 :i* 9 any o!r community w\ld be reg>d$ ) disgu/ & abhorr5ce1 are "h ent]$ into 9 ! "n ( ,god1 & "u ! sanction ( a 8,revelation0 suppos$ to proce$ f ! pure & holy ,savi\r4 ,i 0 mu* %ock$ & disgu/$ :5 fir/ ,i w5t to ,utah1 to f9d a man :om "u o!r circum/ances ,i _h kn[n 9 ,london1 liv+ ) two si/]s :om he _h m>ri$ 9 ! mann] ,i h j describ$1 &1 /range z x may appe>1 x 0 n ) !m a matt] ( necessity4 ,:5 ,i knew ! husb& 9 ,europe1 ,i consid]$ him a man ( education & ref9em5t2 b ,i c]ta9ly 0 mi/ak51 = no man ^: nature 0 at all s5sitive w\ld h liv$ z he did4 ,8 wives1 too1 :o _h be5 consid]$ highly respectable ,engli% girls1 7 n a%am$ ( _! degrad$ position2 !y pr(ess$ to believe 9 br++ ! _w back to its primitive purity & innoc5ce4 ,x is q a common ?+ 9 ,utah = a man to m>ry two & ev5 ?ree si/]s4 ,i 0 well acqua9t$ ) "o man :o m>ri$ 8 half-si/]1 & ,i "k sev]al :o h m>ri$ "m & daught]4 ,i "k also ano!r man :o m>ri$ a wid[ ) sev]al *ildr52 &1 :5 "o ( ! girls _h gr[n into h] te5s1 he insi/$ on m>ry+ h] also1 hav+ fir/ by "s means won h] affections4 ,! "m1 h[ev]1 0 mu* oppos$ to ?is m>riage1 & f9ally gave up h] husb& entirely to h] daught]2 & to ?is v day ! daught] be>s *ildr5 to h] /ep-fa!r1 liv+ z wife 9 ! same h\se ) h] "m6 ,9 ano!r in/ance1 a well-kn[n man 9 ,salt ,lake ,city1 :o has sev]al wives & m>ri$ daught]s1 m>ri$ a "y girl ( fifte5 ye>s ( age :om 8 wife _h adopt$ & br\ght up z h] own4 ,q a numb] ( ! lead+ ,mormons h wives 9 ! v>i\s settlem5ts2 & ?is is v conv5i5t to !m if !y h to travel mu*4 ,if ! wives are old & exp]i5c$1 z wives :o are s5t into ! c\ntry g5]ally are1 !y c !n look aft] & manage a f>m2 & if !y h gr[+ boys1 ! f>m c be work$ ^u a v economical plan4 ,! y\ng] wives 9 ! city c be suppli$ f !m ) all ! butt]1 *eese1 vegetables1 c41 t !y require4 ,x takes consid]able %rewdness to manage wom5 9 su* a way z to turn all _! abilities to good acc\nt & to make !m pr(itable4 ,let me ask ! good bre?r5 :o read ?is to act = once imp>tially1 & try to put !mselves 9 a woman's place2 & let me = _! b5efit draw a little picture = !m to contemplate4 ,x is ev5+1 & ! family are all assembl$ 9 _! pleasant home--a home made happy by ! k9d & ?\ghtful c>e ( a lov+ fa!r4 ,peace & tranquillity dwell 9 e he>t1 & ! fa!r is happy 9 be+ surr\nd$ by 8 *ildr51 to :om he is fondly atta*$4 ,he li/5s to ! prattle ( ! little ones1 or ! music & songs ( ! eld] *ildr52 & = a "t he is =getful ( ev]y?+ save ! happ9ess ( ! h\r4 ,sudd5ly 8 wife1 ! "m ( 8 *ildr51 :om he de>ly loves1 rises f h] seat beside ! fire & retires to h] own ap>tm5t4 ,!re %e arranges h] toilet ) irreproa*able c>e1 sees t e /ray+ curl is 9 its place1 & gives e t\* to h] appe>ance :i* %e ?9ks is likely to r5d] h] attractive 9 ! eyes ( a man4 ,%e n[ desc5ds ! /airs1 ready to leave ! home ( ?is1 h] fir/ husb&1 = %e is go+ to see h] second husb&1 or "s "y man to :om %e has tak5 a fancy1 & :o %e ?9ks w\ld be suitable = a ?ird4 ,%e kisses h] *ildr5 good-bye1 & is ab\t to take an affectionate f>ewell ( _! fa!r1 :5 %e sudd5ly discov]s t he is n look+ happy4 8,:at is ! matt] n[80 %e says2 8is n y\r home a pleasant "o8 h ,i n tak5 pa9s to tra9 y\r *ildr5 9 a prop] mann]1 & h ,i n rema9$ an h\r long] ?an usual ) y8 ,:at folly x is = y to be mop+ 9 ?is way6 ?is is n ! way to live our religion1 if we expect to get ! bless+ ( ,god4 ,y "k v well x is v pa9ful = me to leave y & my *ildr52 b we mu/ be ob$i5t to ! comm&s ( ,god1 & ,i owe att5tions to my o!r husb& z well z to y60 ,c any man be suppos$ :o w\ld = a mom5t endure su* an outrage ^u dec5cy & common s5se1 su* a violation ( all t is sacr$ 9 ! human he>t8 ,& yet ?is is only rev]s+ ! case2 & j z any ,mormon man c suppose he w\ld feel1 if ! wife he lov$ 7 to act 9 ! way ,i h describ$1 s d ,mormon wives feel1 only z mu* m acutely1 z wom5 are m s5sitive 9 _! affections ?an m54 ,,*apt] ,,xxxiii4 ,,lights ,,& ,,%ad[s ,,( ,,polygamy--,,m>riage ,,& ,,baptism ,,= ,,! ,,dead4 ,my life 0 n[ "o cont9u$ s]ies ( deceptions1 z 0 also t ( my husb&1 & we began habitually to we> ! mask :5 9 ea* o!r's pres5ce4 ,x may h be5 wrong1 p]haps1 b ,i confess t = my husb&'s int5d$ bride ,i felt su* a dete/ation t ,i c\ld n endure h] pres5ce1 al?\gh ,i knew t %e 0 n to blame4 ,i believ$ t ,i %\ld n h felt x s mu* if %e _h be5 a little old]2 b to h a m]e *ild plac$ on a level ) me1 & to be compell$ to treat h] ) all ! respect due to a wife1 0 s t]ribly humiliat+ to me t at times ,i ?\ght t ,i c\ld n endure x ano!r day4 ,%e1 ( c\rse1 expect$ to be treat$ ) all ! consid]ation :i* is prop] to a wife1 & to be consult$ 9 ev]y?+ by my husb&1 z a wife %\ld be4 ,%e 0 n1 h[ev]1 compet5t to und]take any h\sehold duties or wifely c>es1 & 0 h]self an additional responsibility to me4 ,"y & inexp]i5c$ z %e 01 %e _h ev]y?+ to le>n2 b1 at ! same "t1 %e /ood s mu* ^u h] dignity t x 0 any?+ b a pleasant task to tea* h]4 ,x ( c\rse devolv$ ^u me to in/ruct h] 9 ev]y?+1 & ,i f\nd x any?+ b a cong5ial task4 ,i soon began to look ^u h] simply z a bo>d]1 & expect$ no?+ m f h] ?an ,i %\ld if %e _h really be5 su*4 ,%e took v k9dly to ?is position1 & w\ld sp5d h] days 9 h] own room1 read+ & o!rwise amus+ h]self1 & ( c\rse 0 always pleasant & well-dress$ to receive h] husb&4 ,b ?is did n suit me4 ,9 fact ,i d n "k :at w\ld h suit$ me at t "t1 = ,i 0 dispos$ to be displeas$ ) ev]y?+4 ,& yet a visitor to our h\se w\ld1 ,i h no d\bt1 h1 said1 8,h[ v pleasantly ^? two wives get along toge!r60 ,?is has be5 said ( scores ( wom5 9 ,utah by casual obs]v]s--,g5tiles1 :o ?\ght !y 8und]/ood0 ! sy/em4 ,h[ little d !y "k ! a*+ void & ! bitt] hatr$ :i* exi/s 9 ! he>ts ( ^? wives--! dete/ation :i* !y h ( "o ano!r6 ,h[ little c !y "k1 :5 ev]y?+ is s c>efully hidd51 ev5 f _! husb&s6 ,x is a %ameful ?+ t wom51 fai?ful wives & mo!rs1 %\ld be plac$ 9 su* a position4 ,h[ _m times dur+ ! day h ,i be5 compell$ to leave ev]y?+ & ru% to my *amb]1 & !re on my b5d$ knees supplicate = /r5g? to endure1 ?9k+ all ! "t t1 9 orda9+ ?is ,revelation1 ,god _h giv5 u a burd5 great] ?an we c\ld be>6 ,!n 9 ! ev5+1 :5 we 7 assembl$ toge!r 9 our cosy p>l\r1 z we 7 wont to be1 all traces t rema9$ ( ! t]rible /ruggle :i* ,i _h endur$ 7 a sad c\nt5ance & p]haps ! deep5+ l9es ^u my br[1 :i* contra/$ unpleasantly ) ! bright & *e]ful face ( ! "y wife1 & made my husb& feel t ,i 0 gett+ v s\r 9 my disposition1 z inde$ 0 probably ! case4 ,?+s & actions1 :i* at ano!r "t ,i %\ld h consid]$ too trifl+ to notice1 _h n[ a pa9ful significance to me4 ,on "o occasion1 n long aft] ! w$d+1 my husb& ask$ me to take a walk ) him1 & ,i cons5t$4 ,among ! ,mormons x is a cu/om to take _! wives out toge!r v frequ5tly4 ,_! object1 ,i presume1 is to display ! 8jewels0 9 _! cr[ns be=e ! eyes ( _! less =tunate bre?r54 ,i _h resolv$ t ,i w\ld nev] submit to ?is2 if my husb& w\ld n take me out alone1 ,i w\ld /ay at home4 ,on ! occasion ,i m5tion1 :5 ,i came out ( my room ready dress$1 ,i f\nd him & 8 wife1 ,bel9da1 wait+ & *att+ pleasantly toge!r1 & look+ unutt]able love at ea* o!r--at lea/1 s ,i ?\ght--& ,i felt greatly insult$ & annoy$1 & told !m ,i did n wi% to g4 ,i c>efully avoid$ %[+ any outbur/s ( temp] be=e ! "y lady1 :i* ,i ?\ght w\ld be undignifi$1 = ,i desir$ at lea/ t %e %\ld respect me1 ?\gh ,i did n want h] love4 ,if ,i _h expect$ t !y w\ld urge me to accompany !m1 ,i %\ld h be5 greatly mi/ak51 = my refusal appe>$ to be j :at !y want$4 ,!y tripp$ (f toge!r z light-he>t$ & happy z *ildr51 :ile ,i rema9$ root$ to ! spot1 te>+ my pocket-h&k]*ief to pieces1 & wi%+ ,i c\ld d ! same ) !m4 ,i us$ sometimes to wond] :e!r x w\ld be ! same 9 ! ,mormon heav51 :]e ?is ,cele/ial ,ord] ( ,m>riage is expect$ to be c>ri$ out 9 all its fullness1 & ,i felt tr\bl$ = myself4 ,^! dreadful feel+s w\ld1 ,i believ$1 be ! ru9 ( my s\l1 & ,i ?\ght x 0 impossible = me to obta9 salvation until ,i _h entirely subdu$ !m--& t ,i _h n p[] yet to d4 ,i _h1 h[ev]1 s conceal$ :at ,i felt1 t my husb& believ$ t ,i 0 becom+ us$ to ?is new life4 ,day aft] day my rebelli\s s\l 0 agitat$ by ! same tr\bl$ feel+s4 ,!re 0 no re/ = me--no?+ ^u :i* ,i c\ld /ay my m9d4 ,my husb& 0 pa9fully aw>e t !re 0 a coldness & re/ra9t exi/+ betwe5 8 "y wife & myself1 & ,i "k t he 0 griev$ by x1 = he _h tri$ 9 e way to create a fri5dly feel+ betwe5 u4 ,i felt1 h[ev]1 t x 0 utt]ly impossible t ,i c\ld ev] be affectionate t[>ds 8 o!r wife1 mu* z ,i might /rive4 ,i w\ld d my duty1 b ,i c\ld n love h]1 or1 9 fact1 him ei!r = t matt]1 :5 he 0 associat$ ) h]4 ,i regret to be oblig$ to confess su* a tru?2 b f t "t1 & z long z ,i rema9$ 9 ,mormonism1 ! s5tim5t t 0 upp]mo/ 9 my m9d 0 an utt] dete/ation ( ! :ole sy/em4 ,i despis$ myself = be+ ! abject slave t ,i 04 ,:y c\ld ,i n h ! moral c\rage to set ev]y?+ at defiance--,revelation & all--& free myself f ! bondage t en?rall$ me8 ,i "k ?is day scores ( wom5 9 ,utah :o ?9k & feel exactly z ,i did !n1 :o suff] wrongs aga9/ :i* _! he>ts daily & h\rly rebel1 b :o1 l me1 dread to ca/ aside ! yoke ( ! oppressor4 ,at t "t1 9 respect to pecuni>y matt]s1 we 7 v com=tably (f4 ,almo/ imm$iately aft] our arrival 9 ,utah1 ,mr4 ,/5h\se _h f\nd employm5t on ! /aff ( ! ,des]et ,news4 ,be=e long he obta9$ ! appo9tm5t ( po/ma/] = ,salt ,lake ,city1 & be=e 8 m>riage ) ,miss ,pratt he _h />t$ ! ,telegraph1 ! fir/ daily pap] t 0 ev] publi%$ 9 ,utah4 ,f ! beg9n+ x _h be5 rem>kably successful2 = ,brigham _h c\nsell$ ! p to su/a9 x1 kn[+ v well t he himself w\ld 9 return be support$ by my husb&4 ,brigham _h no m devot$ foll[] ?an ,mr4 ,/5h\se 0 !n1 = ! scales _h n yet fall5 f 8 eyes1 & he believ$ ! ,prophet 0 really :at he claim$ to be--a fai?ful s]vant ( ,god4 ,true1 we _h frequ5tly talk$ toge!r ( 8 v mean actions2 b my too g5]\s1 or p]haps too cr$ul\s1 husb& _h attribut$ all t to ! weakness ( 8 human nature1 & w\ld n believe t x affect$ 8 prie/hood4 ,he !re=e su/a9$ him /rongly & consi/5tly be=e ! public2 n = ga91 = he _h giv5 too _m in/ances ( 8 devotion to be suspect$ ( t2 b ,i may say f pure atta*m5t1 = ,i "k too well t at t "t he 0 almo/ ready to lay d[n 8 life = ! sake ( 8 religion4 ,! ,telegraph soon became ! lead+ j\rnal 9 ,utah1 & 9 a little :ile we 7 surr\nd$ by e com=t & luxury :i* at t "t c\ld be procur$ 9 ,salt ,lake ,city4 ,no family 9 ! ,t]ritory 0 bett] provid$ = ?an 0 ours1 n except+ ,brigham ,"y's4 ,i _h always believ$ t if my husb& 7 left alone1 untrammell$ by ! ,*ur*1 to make 8 own way1 he w\ld d s successfully4 ,9 ?is ,i 0 n mi/ak54 ,we n[ own$ a f9e dwell+-h\se1 a valuable city lot & h\se1 :]e ! pap] 0 pr9t$1 & also ano!r v desirable lot1 ne> to ,brigham ,"y's resid5ce4 ,?is la/ lot 0 my own2 x 0 v beautifully situat$1 & we exp5d$ on x upw>ds ( ?ree ?\s& doll>s4 ,ev]y?+ t my husb& und]took at t "t seem$ to prosp]--n except+ 8 love affairs4 ,j !n a great deal 0 :isp]$ privately ab\t c]ta9 murd]s :i* _h be5 committ$1 all k ( :i* 0 /r5u\sly d5i$ by ! au?orities4 ,:5 any case 0 s notori\s t x c\ld n possibly be altoge!r hu%$ up1 we 7 told t ! murd]$ p]sons 7 dang]\s p1 & _h be5 kill$ 9 self-def5ce by ^? :om !y 9 ! fir/ in/ance _h attack$4 ,my husb&1 l hundr$s ( o!rs1 0 nev] 9 ! confid5ce ( ! ,*ur* au?orities 9 ^! matt]s4 ,he believ$ firmly 9 ! div9e mission ( ,joseph ,smi?1 & %ut 8 eyes to ! actions ( ,brigham ,"y1 ?9k+ t he alone w\ld be responsible to ! ,"l = 8 misde$s4 ,:5 ,i drew 8 att5tion to ! inconsi/5cy ( ,brigham's conduct1 z on m ?an "o occasion ,i did1 he said we _h en\gh to d to look at home & see t we ourselves did :at 0 "r4 ,?is1 ( c\rse1 0 true2 b ,i ?\ght1 nev]!less1 t a little m consi/5cy on ,brigham's "p w\ld n be amiss4 ,my talkative fri5d call$ "o day to speak ( a v s]i\s subject4 8,i h come1 ,si/] ,/5h\se10 %e said1 8to talk to y ab\t a matt] ( great importance1 b ,i don't want to (f5d y1 & y mu/ promise be=eh& to =give me40 ,i readily promis$1 & %e add$3 8,i ?\ght ,i %\ld f9d y v unhappy1 ,si/] ,/5h\se1 ab\t poor de> ,c>rie ,grant1 & ,i ?9k if y are s y des]ve x1 b ,i don't l y to be mis]able1 & s ,i came to com=t y40 8,b1 ,si/] ,ann10 ,i said1 8,i don't want to be com=t$ 9 ! way y seem to mean4 ,i h be5 v sad inde$ at los+ ,c>rie2 b y "k ,i did ev]y?+ ,i c\ld = h]1 poor girl1 & ,i h no?+ to blame myself =40 8,no?+ to blame y\rself =80 %e exclaim$4 8,:y1 ,si/] ,/5h\se1 y h ev]y?+ to blame y\rself =4 ,if poor ,c>rie has less glory1 x is all y\r fault40 8,h[ s80 ,i said4 8,:y10 %e answ]$1 8if y _h n held back & express$ y\r dislike1 ,c>rie w\ld h m>ri$ y\r husb&1 & w\ld mo/ likely h be5 alive n[4 ,%e w\ld h _h h] family1 & w\ld h add$ to y\r husb&'s glory2 :ile n[1 al?\gh %e is y\r husb&'s wife1 %e has no *ildr51 &1 ( c\rse1 mu/ h less glory 9 ! ,k+dom40 8,well1 ,si/] ,ann10 ,i said1 8,i nev] ?\ght ( x 9 t light4 ,i lov$ ,c>rie v mu*1 & ,i tri$ to make h] love me4 ,x 0 n until almo/ ! la/ t ,i knew ( h] love = my husb&2 b if ,i _h kn[n be=e1 ,i am sure my own he>t w\ld h rebell$ aga9/ my husb& tak+ ano!r wife4 ,i did1 h[ev]1 ask him to m>ry h]1 & aft] %e 0 dead ,i 0 m>ri$ to him = h]40 8,t's all v well1 ,si/] ,/5h\se10 %e repli$1 8b = all t ,i ?9k y h committ$ a great wrong aga9/ t poor orphan girl4 ,y ought to be ?ankful t at la/ y 7 able to repair a little ( ! mis*ief :i* y did4 ,i don't want to vex y1 b ,i am really sorry t y _h su* an antipa?y to y\r husb& hav+ ,c>rie4 ,h[ev]1 ,i suppose1 n[ he has really got ano!r wife1 y are n s mu* set aga9/ ,polygamy4 ,y mu/ f9d x q a bless+ to h ,miss ,pratt--,i beg p>don1 ,i mean ,mrs4 ,/5h\se numb] two--) y n[40 ,i did n answ] h]1 = ,i _h my own op9ion ab\t ! matt]4 ,%e w5t on )\t hesitation3 8,well1 y mu/ n be vex$ ) me1 de>2 ,i say x all = y\r good1 y "k2 b ,i d wi% y felt a little m z ,i d ab\t ^! matt]s4 ,:y1 d y "k1 ,i h be5 try+ to %[ my fai? & zeal 9 e possible way ev] s9ce we came to ,utah4 ,x 0 only la/ week ,i 0 baptiz$ = ,que5 ,anne40 8,que5 ,anne60 ,i exclaim$4 8,:at c y possibly mean80 8,exactly :at ,i say1 ,si/] ,/5h\se2 ,i 0 baptiz$ = ,que5 ,anne1 & if y l ,i'll tell y all ab\t x4 ,x is only j :at e "o else has be5 do+1 only !y 7 baptiz$ = o!r p4 ,i don't ?9k y've ev] ?\ght mu* ( ?is1 & s ,i'll expla9 myself4 ,y see1 ,si/] ,/5h\se1 ! ,eld]s tea* u t ! :ole _w is ly+ 9 d>kness & s91 & has be5 s ev] s9ce ! apo/olic gifts 7 lo/ ages ago4 ,n[ !re is no salvation outside ! ,*ur*1 & y may rememb] t ,*ri/ ,himself w5t & prea*$ to ! mis]able s\ls 9 ,p>adise40 8,9 ,p>adise80 ,i said1 8:y ,i ?\ght t 0 a happy place40 8,oh1 no1 ,si/] ,/5h\se10 %e said1 8n v happy4 ,! s\ls ( ^? :o h n he>d ! gospel1 & h n be5 baptiz$1 g !re1 & x's a sort ( prison = !m until !y are br\ght out aga9 ?r\gh ! k9dness ( "s believ]4 ,! ?ief on ! cross w5t !re1 & ,*ri/ w5t !re & prea*$ to ! spirits 9 prison2 & :5 ! ,eld]s die1 !y g on mission to ,p>adise & prea* to !m also4 ,all y\r p & my p1 our fa!rs1 & mo!rs1 & gr&fa!rs1 & s on1 "r up to ! apo/olic times1 are wait+ 9 ,p>adise ) millions & millions ( s\ls to be releas$ & be admitt$ into ! ,cele/ial ,k+dom4 ,all ! good bre?r5 & si/]s h be5 do+ _! be/ to get out _! relations & fri5ds1 & ,i "k _m ( !m :o h s5t ov] to ,engl& & h sp5t l>ge sums ( money 9 trac+ _! p$igrees & g5ealogies1 9 ord] to f9d out ! "r names & to be baptiz$ z proxies = ! dead :o own$ ^? names4 ,i h be5 baptiz$ = a good _m ( my own relations1 & ,i mean to be baptiz$ = scores m2 & _m ( ! bre?r51 too1 h be5 m>ri$ z proxies = _! own fri5ds1 & = di/+ui%$ p besides1 s t !y might be admitt$ into ! ,cele/ial ,k+dom1 & raise up patri>*al families ( _! own4 ,! poor s\ls1 if !y 7 releas$ f ,p>adise by a proxy baptism1 c\ld n1 ( c\rse1 h be5 m>ri$ 9 heav51 z !re is no giv+ 9 m>riage !re2 s "s "o 0 m>ri$ = !m z proxy to "s "o else1 & n[ !y c beg9 to e/abli% _! own cele/ial k+doms40 8,& h y be5 proxy 9 ?is way1 ,si/] ,ann80 ,i ask$4 8,no1 & yes10 %e repli$2 8,i hav5't yet be5 proxy 9 m>riage = any "o1 b ,i 0 proxy 9 baptism4 ,:5 we 7 *ildr51 ,i rememb] we us$ to h "s rhymes ab\t ,que5 ,anne1 &1 z x 0 my own "n1 ,i always ?\ght a great deal ( h]4 ,x seem$ to me t x w\ld be v nice1 & at ! same "t v *>itable1 if ,i 7 to help h] out ( ,p>adise4 ,x q /ruck my fancy1 = x 0 no small ?+ to h a real que5 ?ankful to y = s mu*4 ,s ,i w5t & 0 baptiz$ = h]1 & n[ %e is out ( ,p>adise & has ent]$ ! ,cele/ial ,k+dom4 ,b t isn't all4 ,!re 0 my old fri5d1 ,george ,wil=d1 :o he>d all ab\t ! matt]1 = ,i see him frequ5tly1 & he at once said t he w\ld be baptiz$ = ,pr9ce ,george ( ,d5m>k1 ,que5 ,anne's husb&1 & he means to d s2 & aft] t we'll be m>ri$ by proxy = !m "h on e>?1 & !n !y'll bo? be happy40 8,:y1 ,si/] ,ann1 :at a droll idea60 ,i said4 8,si/] ,/5h\se10 %e repli$1 q s]i\sly1 8x's v wrong ( y to talk s4 ,"s ( ! be/ ,sa9ts h /ood proxy 9 ?is way4 ,!re 0 "o lady :o /ood proxy = ! ,empress ,joseph9e1 & h] son /ood = ,napoleon1 & "s "o else = ,wa%+ton4 ,que5 ,elizabe?1 too1 has be5 baptiz$ by proxy4 ,& n[ ,napoleon & ,wa%+ton are bo? ,mormon ,eld]s1 & ,i suppose "s "o w be m>ri$ = ,que5 ,elizabe?1 & %e'll ent] into ,polygamy4 ,d y "k1 ,si/] ,/5h\se1 !re 0 "o bro!r :o1 out ( pure k9dness1 said he w\ld be baptiz$ = ! ?ief on ! cross1 = he suppos$ t no "o else w\ld take pity on him1 & a si/] :o 0 pres5t said %e w\ld be baptiz$ = 8 wife1 if ,bro!r ,brigham ?\ght he ev] _h "o4 ,i've be5 p]suad+ my ,h5ry to be baptiz$ = ,h5ry ! ,eigh?1 = ,i'm sure he ne$$ baptism = ! remission ( s9s2 & he--,i mean my ,h5ry--has promis$ me to d s2 b he says t he means to ask ,bro!r ,brigham fir/ be=e he is m>ri$ = him--if ev] he is--z ,k+ ,h5ry 0 almo/ a polygami/ 9 8 way1 & my husb& ?9ks !re is n mu* ne$ to be m>ri$ = him at all40 8,i c't help be+ amus$10 ,i said4 8,( c\rse ,i h (t5 he>d ( be+ baptiz$ = ! dead1 & ,i "k ! ,eld]s say t ,/4 ,paul spoke ( x 9 "o ( 8 epi/les1 b ,i nev] ?\ght ( x 9 t light2 ,i always ?\ght we %\ld h to wait till ! ,temple 0 f9i%$40 8,t's true1 ,si/] ,/5h\se10 %e repli$2 8all ! m>riages ( all ! ,sa9ts--( e "o1 9 fact1 on ! face ( ! e>?--ought to be solemniz$ 9 ! ,temple "h 9 ,salt ,lake ,city1 & e "o ought to receive _! ,end[m5ts 9 x2 b z x is n yet f9i%$1 ! ,"l p]mits u to be m>ri$1 & ev]y?+ else1 9 ! ,end[m5t ,h\se4 ,b y "k y\rself t !re's a record kept1 & t1 :5 ! ,temple is f9i%$1 ! c]emony w be all gone ?r\gh ) aga94 ,i've he>d x said t _m ( ! ,eld]s & _! wives w live !re1 & t day & night p]petually ! c]emonies w be go+ on4 ,y ought to be baptiz$1 h[ev]1 n[ = z _m relations z y c ?9k (40 8,i ?9k ,i %all wait1 ,si/] ,ann10 ,i said1 8until ,i c f9d a ,que5 ,fanny1 & !n ,i'll be baptiz$ = h]40 ,%e did n l me say+ ?is1 = %e evid5tly ?\ght ,i 0 je/+4 ,i 0 n je/+1 h[ev]1 b ,i felt greatly amus$1 = ?is peculi> doctr9e ( ! ,sa9ts _h nev] /ruck me 9 su* an odd light be=e4 ,si/] ,ann 0 %ock$ at ! way 9 :i* ,i view$ h] /range /ories1 b 8,i'll come aga9 9 ! c\rse ( a day or two1 ,si/] ,/5h\se10 %e said1 8& put y all /raight40 ,,*apt] ,,xxxiv4 ,,my ,,daught] ,,becomes ,,! ,,f\r? ,,wife ,,( ,,brigham ,,"y',s ,,son--,,! ,,second ,,end[m5ts4 ,aft] ,i _h cons5t$1 & 9 reality _h giv5 my husb& a second wife1 my /atus 9 ,mormon polygamic society 0 v consid]ably improv$4 ,fir/ wives :o liv$ 91 & firmly believ$1 ?is 8,ord] ( ,cele/ial ,m>riage10 tri$ 9 e way to make me feel t ,i 0 "o ) !m2 & ^? :o _h n mu* fai? felt m k9dly t[>ds me1 because ,i _h be5 caught 9 ! same sn>e ) !mselves4 ,e polygamic wife1 :e!r fir/1 second1 ?ird1 or t5?1 no matt] h[ mu* or h[ little %e may believe 9 8,cele/ial ,m>riage0--no matt] h[ ref9$ or h[ co>se & degrad$ h] nature may *ance to be--mu/ feel t h] position is inf]ior to t ( a monogamic wife4 ,on ?is acc\nt1 _m ( ! ,mormon wom5 are nev] satisfi$ until !y h drawn e woman ( _! acqua9tance d[n to _! own level4 ,! influ5ce ( ?is suppos$ 8,revelation0 is by no means elevat+ or ref9+4 ,i 0 n[ ^u an equal foot+ ) o!r fir/ wives4 ,!y _h1 !re=e1 no hesitation 9 confid+ to me _! griefs2 &1 situat$ z ,i 01 ,i _h abundant opportunities ( he>+ /ories ( cruelty1 wrong1 & suff]+1 "u ! 8,cele/ial0 sy/em--_m ( !m s utt]ly revolt+ t ,i w\ld n dream ( relat+ !m aga94 ,polygamy among ! ,mormons is s full ( disgu/+ & disgraceful details1 t a mode/ woman w\ld n d>e to relate all %e knew4 ,9 ?is book ,i h endeav\r$ to be true to my title & to 8tell all10 z f> z su* a ?+ is possible4 ,b !re are ?\s&s ( horrible incid5ts1 :i* =m "p & p>cel ( ! sy/em ( ,polygamy1 b :i* no woman :o _h any respect = h]self w\ld ?9k ( putt+ ^u pap]4 ,previ\s to ! "t :5 my husb& took 8 second wife1 al?\gh ,i _h le>n$ too mu*1 ,i _h to a c]ta9 ext5t be5 kept 9 ! d>k respect+ "s ( ! vile & loa?some practices ( ,polygamy2 b aft] t1 by sl[ degrees1 ,i 0 ?or\ghly initiat$ into ! sy/em4 ,visitors to ,utah w\ld p]haps notice 9 ! faces ( ! ,mormon wives a dull1 c>eworn1 we>y expression1 altoge!r ! rev]se ( t cont5t$ look :i* is se5 among 8,g5tile0 wom54 ,b ^? v wom5 w\ld nev] disclose to ! /rang] ! dep? ( t sorr[ :i* is we>+ away _! lives4 ,"s few1 inde$1 h be5 l$ to speak ( _! tr\bles2 b !y h aft]w>ds f\nd t ! v p]sons 9 :om !y confid$ mo/ di/ort$ & exagg]at$ e ^w t !y _h utt]$1 = ! sake ( mak+ a good /ory = ! press4 ,9 _m cases ! names ( ^? :o 7 ?\ghtless en\gh to expose _! sorr[s1 toge!r ) little p]sonal matt]s :i* %\ld nev] h be5 made public1 7 put into pr9t2 & :5 ! matt] came be=e ! ,*ur* au?orities1 z 9 c\rse ( "t x 0 c]ta9 to d1 !re 0 a great deal ( tr\ble & unpleasantness4 ,wom51 consequ5tly1 z a rule1 tell no?+2 & book-mak]s & p connect$ ) ! press1 :ile !y give to ! _w a/oni%+ /ories ( :at !y h he>d1 "k really no?+ ( ! tru?4 ,:5 a sm>t man1 or a man connect$ ) ! press1 comes to ,utah1 ! ,*ur* au?orities take him 9 h& at once4 ,he is c>ri$ "h & !re1 & treat$ ) ! utmo/ def]5ce2 a pair ( ,mormon spectacles is plac$ by ,brigham1 or "o ( 8 num]\s factotums1 ^u ! visitor's eyes1 & ?r\gh !m he looks at all t transpires4 ,!n comes a gl[+ acc\nt 9 ! pap]s1 or else apocryphal /ories appe> 9 ! visitor's la/ new book2 & unsophi/icat$ p1 :o innoc5tly suppose t all t is 9 pr9t mu/ be true1 beg9 to ?9k t ! /ories ( ! evil-do+ ( ! ,prophet1 :i* f "t to "t h crept out1 7 only sc&al\s reports1 & t ,brigham ,"y--l somebody else :o %all be nameless6--01 aft] all1 n q s black z he has be5 pa9t$4 ,a g5tleman1 :o _h = five ye>s resid$ 9 ,salt ,lake ,city1 said to me a few mon?s ago3 8,mrs4 ,/5h\se1 :5 ,i _h be5 "h ab\t ?ree weeks1 ,i ?\ght t ,i knew en\gh ( ,mormonism to write a book2 :5 ,i _h be5 "h ?ree mon?s1 ,i began to ?9k t ,i did n "k q z mu*2 & n[1 aft] five ye>s1 ,i h come to ! conclusion t ,i really "k no?+ at all4 ,i h liv$ 9 a ,mormon family = ! pa/ ye>1 b t has n increas$ my k4 ,!y are con/antly ^u _! gu>d4 ,!y treat me k9dly1 b !y nev] let me "k any?+40 ,?is1 ,i believe1 has be5 ! exp]i5ce ( ne>ly all ! ,g5tiles resid5t 9 ,salt ,lake ,city4 ,g5tlem5 _h no *ance ( le>n+ any?+1 & ! opportunities ( ladies 7 only a trifle bett]4 ,up to ?is "t ,i _h said v little to my *ildr5 ab\t my d\bts & fe>s4 ,) ! exception ( my daught] ,cl>a1 !y 7 all too "y4 ,cl>a 0 j budd+ into womanhood1 & day by day gave promise ( m beauty & int]e/ 9 h] future life4 ,i dread$ to ca/ a cl\d across h] way by tell+ h] ( my own appreh5sions 9 respect to ,polygamy4 ,if t 7 ! 8,ord]0 ( 8,heav510 %e w\ld c]ta9ly h to live 9 x2 & 9 any case x 0 ! 8ord]0 ( ,brigham ,"y1 & my *ild c\ld n escape f x4 ,we _h liv$ toge!r 9 ,polygamy ab\t a ye>1 :5 my husb& told me t 8 "y wife desir$ to h a home ( h] own1 & t he int5d$ to provide h] ) "o4 ,?is 0 v pleasant intellig5ce to me2 = ! sight ( t o!r wife con/antly be=e my eyes1 sitt+ at my table1 9 ! mid/ ( my family1 walk+ 9 ! g>d5 ) my husb& 9 ! ev5+1 or tte--tte ) him 9 ! p>l\r1 0 m ?an ,i c\ld be>4 ,i began to feel1 :e!r ju/ly or n1 t my pres5ce 0 a re/ra9t to !m1 & t !y felt annoy$ :5 ,i 0 ) !m4 ,?is feel+ 0 s /rong ) me t ,i con/antly avoid$ !m1 & ,i f9ally conclud$ to sp5d ! ev5+s 9 my own room ) my *ildr51 =1 be+ out ( _! pres5ce1 ,i %\ld p]haps be at peace4 ,?is1 h[ev]1 0 all *ang$ :5 my husb& e/abli%$ a second home4 ,i did n m9d be+ depriv$ ( 8 society s long z ,i c\ld get rid ( h]3 h] pres5ce 0 pa9ful to me1 & :5 %e 0 ne> me ,i h>dly felt able to brea!4 ,j at t "t ! m>riage ( my daught] ,cl>a fir/ began to be talk$ ab\t s]i\sly4 ,"o day my husb& be+ out driv+ ) ,joseph ,a4 ,"y1 ! elde/ son ( ! ,prophet1 ! subject 0 discuss$ betwe5 !m1 & ,joseph ,a4 made a proposition ( m>riage4 ,?is1 to me1 0 ! cause ( consid]able uneas9ess1 z ,joseph ,a4 0 a ,polygami/1 & at fir/ ,i altoge!r refus$ to li/5 to ! sugge/ion4 ,at t "t ,cl>a 0 n fifte5 ye>s ( age1 & n only did ,i consid] h] altoge!r too "y to ?9k ( m>riage1 b ,i 0 %ock$ at ! b>e idea ( h] becom+ a polygamic wife4 ,i almo/ hat$ ,joseph = ask+ = h]4 ,p]sonally ,i _h no objection to ,cl>a's lov]4 ,i _h kn[n him = sev]al ye>s4 ,he 0 an intellig5t1 g5]\s-he>t$1 & h&some man1 ( v good /&+ among ! ,sa9ts1 & weal?y4 ,z a fri5d1 ,i valu$ & e/eem$ him2 b t he1 a polygami/1 %\ld wi% to m>ry my d>l+ daught]1 0 v repugnant to my feel+s4 ,cl>a 0 !n gr[+ old en\gh to und]/& my m s]i\s ?\ghts & s5tim5ts1 & h] companion%ip 0 v preci\s to me4 ,! ?\ght ( h] m>ry+ into ,polygamy 0 to my m9d almo/ z pa9ful z ! ?\ght ( h] dea? w\ld h be54 ,my husb& agre$ ) me t %e 0 too "y to m>ry2 b on t po9t he c\ld n (f] any great objection1 z 8 own wife1 al?\gh v womanly 9 appe>ance1 0 b v little old] 9 ye>s4 ,i told ,joseph ,a4 ( my reluctance to ! propos$ m>riage1 & he fully ent]$ into my feel+s4 ,i c\ld n absolutely refuse him1 b ,i wi%$ to ga9 "t4 ,e day f\nd me m & m weak 9 ! fai?1 & ,i ?\ght t1 if ,i c\ld only po/pone my ,cl>a's m>riage = a few ye>s1 some?+ might transpire :i* w\ld relieve me ( my difficulty4 ,joseph promis$ to wait j z long z we ?\ght prop]1 if only we w\ld all[ him to speak to ,cl>a & expla9 to h] ! s5tim5ts ) :i* he reg>d$ h]4 ,9 ?is he act$ 9 a way v unlike ! ,mormon m5 g5]ally1 & ,i respect$ him accord+ly4 ,i promis$ him t ,i w\ld n influ5ce my daught]1 b w\ld let h] decide = h]self4 ,?is1 aft] mu* c>eful consid]ation1 ,i came to ! conclusion 0 all t ,i c\ld d4 ,my m9d at t "t 0 9 a v tr\bl$ /ate4 ,day by day my d\bts respect+ ! plural wife sy/em became /rong] & /rong]1 & ,i felt t be=e v long "s great *ange mu/ take place1 bo? 9 my fate & 9 my life4 ,at ! same "t1 outw>d circum/ances gave no promise ( any su* *ange4 ,my husb& gave no signs ( apo/asy1 &1 z a ,sa9t1 ,i knew he w\ld nev] ?9k ( und]tak+ any?+ )\t ! p]mission ( ,bro!r ,brigham4 ,we did n ev5 d>e to leave ! city )\t consult+ ! ,prophet4 ,9 times1 !n v rec5t1 x 0 at ! risk1 & sometimes1 inde$1 at ! sacrifice ( life1 t any "o left ,salt ,lake ,valley )\t p]mission2 & ev5 at ! pres5t mom5t no good ,sa9t :o values 8 /&+ 9 ! ,*ur* w\ld dream ( go+ ,ea/ )\t fir/ obta9+ ! approval ( ,brigham ,"y4 ,i c\ld n1 !re=e1 at ! "t ( :i* ,i write1 =esee ! great *anges :i* h s9ce tak5 place4 ,to refuse my daught] to ! ,prophet's son w\ld1 ,i knew1 be utt]ly useless4 ,by p>tial submission ,i might ga9 "s advantages2 & ! long] ,i po/pon$ ! m>riage1 ! great] *ance !re 0 t 8some?+0 might turn up1 :i* we all m or less look = :5 we are plac$ 9 circum/ances :i* admit ( ! ex]cise ( v little *oice or ef=t4 ,my only objection aga9/ ,joseph ,a4 01 z ,i j /at$1 t he 0 a polygami/2 b s long z we rema9$ 9 ! ,*ur* ,i c\ld n op5ly allege ?is 9 opposition to ! propos$ m>riage4 ,if my ,cl>a m>ri$ a s+le man1 !re 0 e *ance1 if n an absolute c]ta9ty1 t aft] a :ile he w\ld take ano!r wife1 or wives4 ,?is _h be5 ! case ) o!r girls ) :om my *ild 0 acqua9t$4 ,!y _h m>ri$ s+le m51 tru/+ t _! influ5ce ov] !m w\ld be suffici5t to reta9 _! affections ev] to !mselves alone2 b !y _h soon reason to see h[ gr\ndless _! expectations & hopes _h be54 ,if1 on ! o!r h&1 ,i gave my daught] to a polygami/1 !re 0 c]ta9ly no reason :y ,joseph ,a4 %\ld be refus$4 ,i felt surr\nd$ on e side by difficulties1 & out ( !m all ,i endeav\r$ to *oose ! lea/4 ,"o day my husb& told me t ,brigham ,"y _h s]i\sly spok5 to him ab\t ! matt]1 & _h 8c\nsell$0 him to let ! m>riage take place at once1 say+ t my ,cl>a 0 q old en\gh4 ,aft] ?is1 objection on my "p w\ld h be5 utt]ly unavail+4 ,ev]y?+ 0 settl$ at ! fiat ( ,brigham2 & ! feel+s & judgm5t ( a fa!r & "m 9 respect ( _! own daught] 71 ( c\rse1 ( n ! slighte/ consequ5ce4 ,! w$d+-day 0 !re=e fix$1 :5 ! sweet fl[] ( my own quiet g>d5 0 to be transplant$ to ano!r home4 ,we w5t to ! ,end[m5t ,h\se--my husb&1 myself1 & our daught]1 toge!r ) "s fri5ds ( ! family4 ,!re we met ) ,joseph ,a4 ,"y1 ! expectant bridegroom2 8 fa!r1 ,brigham ,"y2 ,joseph ,a4's fir/ wife1 ,m>y ,"y2 & sev]al ( ! bre?r54 ,! bride & bridegroom1 & ! bridegroom's fir/ wife1 7 all dress$ 9 _! ,temple robes4 ,we !n ent]$ a small room :]e ! alt>1 ( :i* ,i h already spok51 is plac$4 ,at ! end ( ! alt>1 ,brigham 0 seat$ 9 a l>ge arm*air cov]$ ) crimson velvet4 ,! alt> 0 also crimson4 ,brigham (ficiat$4 ,joseph ,a4's fir/ wife1 ,m>y ,"y1 knelt 9 front ( ! long crimson alt>2 & my daught] ,cl>a knelt beside h] on a sort ( fald/ool or l$ge1 arrang$ = t purpose4 ,beh9d ! alt> knelt ,joseph ,a4 ,brigham said3 8,joseph1 are y will+ to take ,cl>a ,/5h\se to be y\r lawful & w$d$ wife = "t & = all et]nity80 ,joseph answ]$1 8,yes40 ,!n ,joseph's fir/ wife 0 told to place ! "r h& ( my daught] 9 ! "r h& ( h] husb&1 9 tok5 t %e 0 will+2 & !n ,cl>a 0 que/ion$1 z ,joseph _h be54 ,:5 %e repli$ 9 ! affirmative1 ,brigham said1 8,i pron\nce y man & wife 9 ! "n ( ! ,"l4 ,am540 ,!y 7 n[ m>ri$2 & ,brigham ,"y1 ,joseph ,a4's fir/ wife1 & a few o!r fri5ds1 came home to ! w$d+ breakfa/1 aft] :i* my daught] w5t to h] own pleasant home4 ,?us my wor/ fe>s 7 realiz$4 ,my own daught] _h become a polygamic wife2 %e 0 ! f\r? wife ( h] husb&1 ,joseph ,a4 ,"y4 ,x is a s\rce ( sorr[ to any "m :o really loves h] *ildr5 to lose !m1 ev5 if x be = _! own good & happ9ess2 b 9 my own case !re 7 reasons :y ,i felt ! loss ( my daught] m ?an ,i %\ld h done "u ord9>y circum/ances4 ,i felt q desolate )\t h]2 = :5 left all alone1 :5 my husb& took 8 second wife1 & :5 ,i _h no "o else to turn to1 my little daught] _h entw9$ h]self ab\t my he>t 9 a ?\s& sweet & lov+ ways4 ,%e knew h[ great an influ5ce music _h ov] me1 & h[ mu* ,i lov$ to he> h] play & s+2 & :5 %e saw h[ sad my he>t 01 or caught me 9 te>s1 %e w\ld g to h] piano1 & lure me to h] side by "s sweet song :i* %e knew 0 de> to my memory4 ,b ) h] w5t all t love & g5tl5ess :i* 9 my "t ( deepe/ tr\ble su/a9$ me & kept me f absolute despair4 ,i h (t5 wond]$ :e!r ,joseph ev] realiz$ h[ great1 h[ de> a gift1 ,i be/[$ ^u him :5 ,i gave him my little ,cl>a4 ,b 9 say+ ?is ,i d n mean to ca/ ! %ad[ ( a d\bt ^u 8 true-he>t$ness & love t[>ds h]4 ,he 0 always k9d & ?\ghtful1 consid]+ h] com=t 9 ev]y?+2 & al?\gh !y h n[ be5 m>ri$ sev5 ye>s1 he has nev] *ang$1 b is ! same to h] z on ! fir/ day ( _! m>riage4 ,a good1 k9d1 & g5tle husb& he has ev] be51 anticipat+ h] e wi%1 t5d]ly & c>efully gu>d+ h] f ev5 a pa9ful ?\ght4 ,my only regret has be5 t he is a polygami/1 & %e a polygamic wife4 ,n long aft] ?is1 my husb& "o day told me t a select few _h be5 *os5 to receive _! ,second ,end[m5ts1 & t we 7 to be hon\r$ ) ! same privilege4 ,?is ,i 0 told 0 "o ( ! highe/ hon\rs t c\ld be conf]r$ ^u u1 z ! ,second ,end[m5ts _h nev] be5 giv5 to any "o s9ce ! ,mormons left ,nauvoo4 ,! glory ( ?is privilege ,i did n myself1 h[ev]1 feel2 &1 not)/&+ any respect :i* might be int5d$ by our names be+ add$ to ! li/ ( *os5 ones1 ,i refus$ to see ! slighte/ good 9 ! :ole affair4 ,i am afraid ,i 0 naturally p]v]se--or 0 x t ! light 0 n[ beg9n+ to dawn m cle>ly ^u my m9d8 ,i "k n4 ,b ,i rais$ e possible objection1 feel+1 ?\gh ,i did1 t all opposition on my "p 0 useless4 ,i knew t ,i %\ld h to g1 b ,i felt a dismal satisfaction 9 lett+ e "o "k h[ mu* ,i hat$ ! sy/em4 8,our0 second wife--,i say 8our10 because ,i _h be5 taught t my husb& & myself 7 indissolubly "o1 ev5 9 ! matt] ( tak+ wives--8our0 second wife seem$ ! happie/ ( u all :5 ! day arriv$1 & ,i believe %e consid]$ t we 7 v highly fav\r$4 ,aft] prep>+ our ,temple robes1 we />t$ = ! ,end[m5t ,h\se4 ,! reluctance :i* ,i felt caus$ me to lag beh9d1 & ,i 0 g5tly rem9d$ sev]al times t ,i 0 mak+ myself v disagreeable4 ,i did n1 h[ev]1 feel mu* remorse1 = my husb& _h /ill "o good1 ob$i5t wife walk+ at 8 side1 :o ,i knew w\ld sympa?ize ) him2 & t1 z e "o is aw>e1 is m ?an falls to ! lot ( e man4 ,:5 we rea*$ ! ,end[m5t ,h\se1 we ladies 7 %[n into "o room & our husb& into ano!r4 ,we !n proce$$ to array ourselves 9 our robes1 caps1 & aprons--! same z :5 we receiv$ our fir/ ,end[m5ts--& :5 all 0 ready we 7 u%]$ into ano!r room by "o ( ! bre?r51 :o 0 also dress$ 9 8 ,temple robes4 ,!re we met our husb& & sev]al o!r bre?r51 all dress$ 9 ! same way4 ,we sat d[n1 & oil 0 !n p\r$ ^u ! head ( our husb& by two ( ! bre?r5--,daniel ,h4 ,wells & ano!r--& he 0 !n orda9$ a ,k+ & ,prie/ to all et]nity4 ,aft] t1 we two wives 7 ano9t$ 9 l mann]1 & orda9$ ,que5s & ,prie/esses1 to reign & rule ) our husb& ov] 8 k+dom 9 ! cele/ial _w4 ,_h ,i ev] solac$ myself ) ! notion1 :i* "s ,mormon wom5 ent]ta91 t fir/ wives are que5s ov] all ! re/1 ,i %\ld h be5 sadly disappo9t$ :5 ,i he>d 8our0 second wife orda9$ to ! same high (fice z myself4 ,z x 01 h[ev]1 my fai? 0 s small t ,i %\ld h be5 q cont5t$ _h !y consecrat$ h] alone que5 = ,et]nity1 s long z !y w\ld h all[$ me to rule & reign by myself 9 my own home = ,"t4 ,! c]emony did n la/ long2 b x all appe>$ to me su* folly t ,i 0 anxi\s to leave ! place1 &1 ?\gh ,i d>$ n say s1 ,i 0 truly a%am$ to be se5 com+ out ( ! ,h\se4 ,:ile go+ ?r\gh ^! ,end[m5ts ,i 0 fill$ ) a ?or\gh contempt = ev]ybody & ev]y?+ ar\nd me1 & ,i suppose t my feel+s 7 visible ^u my c\nt5ance2 =1 aft] leav+ ! ,h\se1 ,i rememb] ! ,apo/le ,john ,taylor ask+ me if ,i did n feel well1 & ,i told him z pla9ly z ,i d>$ :at really 0 ! matt]4 ,he spoke to me v k9dly1 & tri$ to reassure me2 b ! scales 7 n[ fall+ f my eyes1 & all 8 argum5ts avail$ no?+4 ,not)/&+ all ?is1 ,i 0 n ready yet to ca/ (f ! yoke1 & a few mon?s aft] our ,second ,end[m5ts ,i aga9 gave evid5ce ( my fai?4 ,an ev5t occurr$ 9 ! o!r bran* ( my husb&'s family :i* produc$ a /rong impression ^u my m9d--a little daught] 0 pres5t$ to him by 8 second wife4 ,i 01 ( c\rse1 expect$ to g & visit ! "y "m & *ild1 & ,i ?\ght ,i c\ld nev] br+ my m9d to d t4 ,x w\ld be impossible = me to def9e my feel+s at t "t--loa?+ & hatr$ = him & = h]1 & ev5 = ! poor innoc5t babe1 on ! "o side2 &1 on ! o!r1 ?\ghts ( :at ,i consid]$ 0 my duty t[>ds ,god1 my husb&1 & 8 o!r lawful wife4 ,i 0 bewild]$4 ,my he>t said1 ,d n g2 b my consci5ce said1 ,x is y\r duty to treat h] k9dly1 = %e believes %e has done y no wrong4 ,!n ,i ?\ght1 ,%e is a "y "m1 &1 )\t y fr[n+ ^u h]1 sorr[ w come swiftly en\gh to h] door4 ,i saw t my husb& 0 tr\bl$ z to :at my feel+s might be1 al?\gh he _h n _h c\rage to tell me himself ( ! int]e/+ ev5t4 ,he 0 afraid ( pa9+ me1 & s5t a lady fri5d ) ! intellig5ce4 ,i spoke to him myself1 & told him t ,i w\ld g & see ,bel9da & h] *ild4 ,he ?ank$ me1 & said1 8,god bless y = t40 ,!n ,i w5t to see h]2 b ,i 0 ?ankful :5 ! visit 0 ov]2 & al?\gh ,i w5t aga9 _m times1 & tri$ my v be/ to treat h] k9dly & ev5 affectionately1 ,i c\ld nev] get ov] ! pa9ful feel+s :i* agitat$ my m9d :5 9 h] pres5ce4 ,illu/ration3 ,,orson ,,pratt1 ,! ,mormon ,philosoph]4 ,born 9 #ahaa4 ,,*apt] ,,xxxv4 ,,realities ,,( ,,polygamic ,,life--,,orson ,,pratt3 ,,! ,,/ory ,,( ,,8 ,,"y ,,engli% ,,wife4 ,! position ( ! plural wives--second1 ?ird1 f\r?1 or tw5tie?1 x matt]s n--is b a mock]y1 aft] all2 & 9 _m respects !y are m to be piti$ ?an ! fir/ wives4 ,! fir/ wives h kn[n1 if only = a little :ile1 a husb&'s love & c>e2 b t has nev] be5 felt by ! second wives4 ,!y are1 9 fact1 9 _m respects little bett] ?an slaves2 & if !y are s5sitive girls1 _! position mu/ be extremely pa9ful1 = !y mu/ realize at all times t !y are receiv+ ! att5tions ( ano!r woman's husb&2 & 9 _m in/ances !y are ev5 afraid to be se5 speak+ to _! husb& = fe> ( br++ d[n ! wra? ( ! fir/ wife ^u _! heads4 ,o!rs1 :o are n s s5sitive1 ass]t _! own rights & are defiant4 ,i am well acqua9t$ ) a pretty "y ,wel% girl :o 0 a second wife4 ,h] husb& _h conv]t$ h] to ,mormonism :ile he 0 on a mission to ,europe1 & :5 !y rea*$ ,salt ,lake he m>ri$ h]4 ,i saw h] fir/ two ye>s aft] h] m>riage1 :5 "o day %e came to me 9 ! greate/ di/ress4 ,%e ask$ me if ,i w\ld give h] "s employm5t1 &1 greatly surpris$ at ! reque/1 ,i ask$ h] h[ %e came to ne$ any?+ to d1 z ,i knew h] husb& c\ld well af=d to support h]4 8,i h left my husb&10 %e answ]$1 8= ,i c\ld /& no long] ! ill-treatm5t t ,i receiv$4 ,i endur$ x until1 z y see1 my heal? is fail+ & ,i am brok5-he>t$4 ,! creature ,i m>ri$ has no manhood 9 him4 ,he has all[$ me to be treat$ l a slave1 & has himself half-/>v$ me1 & has act$ t[>ds me ) ! greate/ inhumanity4 ,:5 ,i m>ri$ him10 %e said1 8,i 0 will+ to make myself useful 9 ! family1 & ,i did s4 ,b "o ?+ aft] ano!r 0 giv5 me to d1 until ,i became a regul> drudge2 !y w\ld n h d>$ to treat a hir$ girl 9 ! way !y treat$ me4 ,i 0 put into a mis]able little back room1 & 0 nev] all[$ to see any ( my fri5ds2 ,i _h to "w e>ly & late4 ,:5 at la/ my position w\ld n admit ( my work+ q s mu*1 !y puni%$ me ) all sorts ( petty unk9dnesses1 & ne>ly />v$ me1 giv+ me only a little fl\r or a few potatoes e day4 8,at la/10 %e cont9u$1 8,i w5t to ,bro!r ,brigham to "k :at ,i %\ld d4 ,he s5t = my husb& & talk$ to him a long "t1 & he promis$ to d bett] if ,i w\ld g back ) him4 ,bro!r ,brigham c\nsell$ me to d s1 & try him aga92 & ,i w5t4 ,soon aft] t1 my babe 0 born1 & !n !y treat$ me ) worse unk9dness40 8,:o d y mean by !y80 ,i ask$4 8,i mean my husb& & 8 wife10 %e repli$4 8,!y did n seem to look ^u me z a wife at all1 & ev5 9 ! colde/ morn+s1 & imm$iately aft] my *ild 0 born1 !y us$ to make me get up fir/ & light fires & prep>e breakfa/ & beg9 "w g5]ally1 & ,i 0 only too glad if ,i escap$ ) a little fault-f9d+4 ,i /ood x z long z ,i c\ld1 because ,bro!r ,brigham _h c\nsell$ me to d s2 b n[ ,i h left !m aga91 & d n mean to return40 ,?is 0 ! /ory ( "o poor girl's tr\bles4 ,n[ ! man1 ,eld] ,jos4 ,bull1 :o did ?is is a good ,mormon1 9 good /&+ 9 ! ,*ur* to-day4 ,he is employ$ by ! au?orities1 & 8 poor "y wife is n[ work+ = ! ,g5tiles--a mu* happi] woman1 if h] face speaks truly1 s9ce h] sep>ation1 al?\gh %e has to support h]self & *ild4 ,%e1 l hundr$s ( o!r "y girls1 came to ,utah )\t fri5d or relative1 & ?is is h[ a good bro!r 8took c>e0 ( h]4 ,b ,i mu/ be p]mitt$ to relate a /ill m pa9ful /ory--! /ory ( a poor innoc5t girl allur$ f h] happy home 9 ,engl& by "o ( ! mo/ di/+ui%$ ( ! ,mormon ,apo/les2 br\ght ov] by him to ,utah z 8 wife1 & !re suff]$ to die 9 mis]y & neglect4 ,! ,apo/le ,orson ,pratt1 :o is call$ among ! ,sa9ts 8,! ,*ampion ( ,polygamy0--a man :o has devot$ 8 life to ,mormonism1 & ^: writ+s h done m ?an ! lab\rs ( all ! o!r ,apo/les to w9 conv]ts to ,polygamy2 a man :o on m ?an "o occasion has boldly /ood up aga9/ _m ( ! absurdities & blasphemies ( ,brigham ,"y2 a man ^u :om1 on acc\nt ( 8 indep5d5ce1 ,brigham has fr[n$1 & :o has consequ5tly nev] atta9$ to ! weal? ( 8 m obsequi\s bre?r52 a man :o 9 all ! ord9>y affairs ( life w\ld comm& ! respect ( e "o ar\nd him4 ,?is 0 ! man :o p]petrat$ ! atroci\s villa9y :i* ,i am ab\t to relate2 & mu* aga9/ my own p]sonal incl9ations ,i feel compell$ to tell ! /ory1 z x %[s h[ %ock+ly ?is debas+ sy/em c p]v]t an o!rwise upright m9d4 ,orson ,pratt m>ri$ ! "y girl ( :om ,i speak 9 ,liv]pool1 by special disp5sation f ,brigham ,"y2 & h] p>5ts--!mselves dev\t ,mormons--?\ght t _! daught] 0 highly hon\r$ 9 becom+ ! wife ( an ,apo/le4 ,%e 0 v pretty & attractive1 & = a "t he paid great att5tion to h]1 & br\ght h] ov] to ,utah z 8 bride4 ,arriv$ !re1 he utt]ly neglect$ h]1 & %e exp]i5c$ all ! horrors ( polygamic life4 ,! ,apo/le 0 liv+ 9 ,salt ,lake ,city4 ,he _h left 8 "y wife & h] *ildr5 9 ,tooele--a place ab\t =ty miles di/ant4 ,!re !y liv$ 9 a wret*$ little log-cab91 ! "y "m support+ h] little ones z be/ %e c\ld4 ,:5 h] la/ *ild 0 born1 %e 0 suff]+ all ! mis]ies ( pov]ty1 dep5d5t entirely ^u ! *>ity ( h] neighb\rs4 ,at ! "t :5 mo/ %e ne$$ ! g5tle sympa?y ( h] husb&'s love1 t husb& nev] came to see h]4 ,"o morn+ !re 0 lit]ally no?+ 9 ! h\se = h]self & h] *ildr51 :o1 kn[+ no?+ ( _! "m's suff]+s1 cri$ to h] = bread4 ,! poor "m quiet$ !m ) a promise t !y %\ld soon h some?+ to eat1 & !n %e w5t & begg$ a few potatoes f a neighb\r2 & ^u ^! !y subsi/$ = ?ree days4 ,%e !n took h] *ildr5 ) h]1 = !y 7 too "y to be left alone--h] babe 0 only ?ree weeks old--& %e w5t r\nd to see if %e c\ld get "w ( any k9d to d4 ,9 ?is %e 0 n successful2 & at l5g?1 worn out by cont9ual anxiety & privation1 & he>t-brok5 by ! neglect :i* %e _h exp]i5c$1 %e sank b5ea? a fev] :i* promis$ v soon to prove fatal4 ,= "s "t ! neighb\rs nurs$ h]2 b !y1 ( c\rse1 _h _! own families to att5d to1 & c\ld n give h] q all _! "t1 & ?us occasionally %e 0 left alone4 ,"o ev5+1 :5 su* 0 ! case1 %e got up 9 a /ate ( delirium1 & b>efoot$1 & almo/ de/itute ( clo?+1 took h] *ildr51 & w&]$ =? ) !m into ! sn[4 ,! good p ( ,tooele w5t out ov] ! prairie1 anxi\s to f9d & br+ back ! poor maniac1 b = a long "t _! se>* 0 9 va94 ,at la/1 n kn[+ :i!r %e w5t1 %e w&]$ to ! h\se ( ,bro!r ,eli ,b4 ,kelsey--a 8vile apo/ate0 z ,brigham ,"y w\ld call him2 b kn[n to e "o else1 ,sa9t1 ,apo/ate1 or ,g5tile1 z "o ( ! be/ & k9de/-he>t$ m5 t ev] liv$4 ,9 ,bro!r ,kelsey's h\se %e & h] little ones 7 k9dly receiv$ by him & 8 good wife1 & _! wants att5d$ to4 ,!y 7 clo!d & f$1 & 7 !n c>ri$ back to ! log-cab9 :i* !y call$ _! home4 ,next day ! ,mormon ,bi%op ( ,tooele assembl$ ! p1 & money 0 collect$ & s5t to ,salt ,lake ,city1 to ,orson ,pratt1 begg+ him to come imm$iately1 if he wi%$ to see 8 wife alive4 ,b ! ,apo/le did n come4 ,at t "t he 0 actually engag$ 9 tak+ ano!r bride1 & he want$ to he> no?+ ( 8 dy+ wife4 ,!n ! good ,bi%op s5t a "y man1 :o rode all night1 to compel him imm$iately to take ! coa* = ,tooele--! "y man pay+ 8 f>e1 s t he might h no excuse4 ,!n1 at la/1 he came4 ,arriv$ at ! little t[n :]e 8 poor wife lay dy+1 ,orson conduct$ himself l ! philosoph] he pr(esses to be4 ,be=e him /ood ! hovel1 )9 :i* 7 8 des]t$ little ones--wail+1 z if s5sible ( ! great loss ( a "m's c>e :i* !y w\ld soon h to su/a9--& !re1 on h] dy+ b$1 0 t poor wife & "m1 toss+ 9 wild delirium4 ,b he1 ! cause ( all t woe1 pass$ by t wret*$ hovel & its dea?-sc5e to ! com=table home ( a well-to-d bro!r1 at ^: h\se he fir/ obta9$ 8 supp]1 & !n1 calmly return+1 ent]$ ! place :]e 8 wife 0 ly+1 & = a mom5t survey$ ! sc5e4 ,!n he quietly rem>k$ to "o ( ! si/]s pres5t3 8,%e has a good deal ( fev]40 ,ano!r si/]1 :o /ood by1 impulsively exclaim$1 8,good ,god6 ,bro!r ,pratt1 ?is is m ?an fev]2 %e is dy+40 8,oh de> no1 si/]10 he calmly repli$2 8%e w recov]40 ,x 0 evid5t1 h[ev]1 to all b ,orson t 8 wife 0 dy+1 & t no e>?ly p[] c\ld save h]4 ,illu/ration3 ,,despair4 ,to face p4 #cbf4 ,! next day %e 0 /ill rav+1 & x 0 told me t 9 h] wild fr5zy %e ev5 attempt$ to /rangle h] babe4 ,orson essay$ to hold h]1 b %e caught 8 gold *a9 & snapp$ x 9 two4 ,8 t\* & ! sight ( ! *a9 recall$ h] = a mom5t to h] s5ses1 & %e said reproa*fully1 8,y are puff$ up ) pride1 ,orson1 ) y\r gold *a9 & r+s1 :ile y leave me & my babes to />ve4 ,poor little lambs6 :]e are !y80 ,= a mom5t ! ye>n+ ( a "m's he>t = h] *ildr5 conqu]$ ! fev] t tortur$ h] m9d1 & %e li/5$ to h] husb&'s attempt$ words ( com=t1 z he said1 8,i am ) y n[1 ,eliza1 & ,i w take c>e ( y40 ,/eadily1 = a mom5t1 %e look$ up into 8 face1 &1 ) te>s 9 h] eyes1 said m\rnfully3 8,x is too late1 ,orson--x is too late60 ,^! 7 ! la/ sane words :i* %e utt]$ 9 ?is life1 al?\gh %e /ill l+]$ on ins5sible4 ,! next morn+ ! ,apo/le ,pratt resolv$ to leave = ,salt ,lake ,city & 8 "y bride4 ,! ,bi%op1 h[ev]1 call$ a c\ncil & summon$ him to rema9 until 8 wife 0 dead4 ,nev]!less he did n wi% to /ay1 &1 be+ an ,apo/le1 he ov]rul$ ! c\ncil4 ,at ! la/ mom5t be=e 8 int5d$ dep>ture1 "o ( ! si/]s said3 8,bro!r ,pratt1 %\ld %e die1 :at %all we d ) h]80 8,oh1 %e won't die10 he repli$4 8,b %\ld %e80 ! si/] urg$4 8,!n bury h] ) h] *ildr510 he answ]$4 ,aft] mu* solicitation1 he 0 prevail$ ^u to rema9 = a few h\rs1 & ! next morn+ 8 wife di$4 ,! language ( h] la/ mom5ts1 z %e rav$ & toss$ 9 mad delirium1 %[$ h[ t]rible _h be5 h] m5tal agony1 & h[ mu* %e _h suff]$ f ?is frightful sy/em4 ,b "o might easily fill a l>ge volume ) /ories q z cruel z ?is4 ,x is simply absurd to expect t x %\ld be o!rwise4 ,m5 & wom5 c tra9 & discipl9e _! m9ds1 !y c cru% out ! affections ( _! he>ts if !y w2 b no ef=t ( man c *ange man's nature entirely1 or root out altoge!r humanity f ! s\l4 ,wom5 may endure1 z t poor woman did ^: /ory ,i h j relat$1 b !y nev] c get p]fectly adapt$ to ! sy/em ( 8,cele/ial ,m>riage40 ,! ne>] !y approa* to its requirem5ts1 ! fur!r !y rec$e f all t is held good & noble 9 womanhood2 & z = ! m51 !y are brutaliz$ by e ef=t :i* !y make to con=m to x4 ,dur+ ! summ]1 ab\t ?ree ye>s ago1 a "y-look+ woman1 v %abbily dress$1 came frequ5tly to my h\se ) heavy baskets ( fruit1 :i* %e entreat$ me to buy4 ,"o day %e said3 8,y d n rememb] me1 ,si/] ,/5h\se1 ,i ?9k1 & ,i d n wond]1 = ,i am s *ang$4 ,i h to "w v h>d n[1 = all ,i h to live ^u is :at ,i c make by sell+ fruit1 or any little "w t ,i c get my neighb\rs to give me to d2 & if my husb& c\ld prev5t ev5 t1 ,i believe he w\ld4 ,i am oblig$ to ga!r my fruit at night & hide x f him1 & t is :y ,i urg$ y s to buy1 = ,i nev] "k :5 ,i may meet him40 ,i 0 v mu* surpris$ at ?is1 z h] husb&1 ,i knew1 0 gett+ a good sal>y1 & appe>$ to be a mo/ g5tlemanly man4 ,8 fir/ wife1 ,i 0 aw>e1 _h left him1 x 0 said1 on acc\nt ( cruelty & neglect1 & he _h m>ri$ ?is "o j aft] h] arrival f ,engl&4 ,i _h e reason to believe t %e _h be5 a good wife to him1 & a "m to 8 mo!rless *ildr52 b he _h tak5 ano!r wife s9ce he m>ri$ h]1 & _h cruelly neglect$ ?is poor woman1 leav+ h] 8 fir/ wife's *ildr5 to take c>e (4 ,%e said t he 0 aga9 pay+ 8 addresses to ano!r /ill1 & %e expect$ t he w\ld soon m>ry h]4 ,& yet ?is woman 8 second wife told me t all he _h left = h] & ! *ildr5 to live on 0 a sack ( bran & ab\t fifty p\nds ( corn meal4 ,ev]y?+ else _h be5 tak5 to ! ?ird wife1 ev5 to ! be/ articles ( furniture4 ,%e said3 8,"o ev5+ ,i _h be5 sitt+ 9 ! por* 9 my rock+-*air1 :5 he came 9 & rema9$ ab\t an h\r4 ,z soon z he left1 ,i w5t out to br+ 9 ! *air1 & 0 j 9 "t to see him c>ry+ x (f4 ,i knew :]e he 0 go+ ) x40 ,i saw ?is poor woman frequ5tly1 & b\ght h] fruit (t5 :5 ,i did n ne$ x1 = x griev$ me to see h] c>ry+ su* heavy loads 9 h] !n delicate situation4 ,aft] a "t ,i lo/ sight ( h]1 & !n ,i he>d t %e 0 dead4 ,"o day h] own daught]--= %e 0 a wid[ :5 %e m>ri$ ?is man--came to me be=e leav+ ! city4 8,i am go+ away to "s fri5ds10 %e said1 8= ,i w nev] live ne> t man2 he kill$ my "m2 he kick$ h] s sev]ely t %e nev] recov]$1 & :5 h] *ild 0 born1 !y bo? di$ f ! effects ( ! bl[s :i* %e _h receiv$--& ,i hate him40 ,! fir/ wife ( 8,brig40 ,hampton1 "o ( ! ,mormon au?orities1 told me h[ h] husb& :ipp$ h] because %e w\ld n cons5t to 8 /ripp+ _! home ( ev]y?+ t 0 ei!r useful or h&some 9 ord] to furni% a h\se = 8 second wife4 ,f9ally1 he %ut h] up :ile he took h] entire p>l\r furniture away4 ,%e 0 a fragile little woman1 & p]fectly helpless :5 9 ! p[] ( a /rong man1 & !re=e 0 =c$ to submit1 z !re 0 no appeal to law 9 ,utah4 ,x is a v difficult ?+ = a woman1 aft] li/5+1 day aft] day1 to su* tales ( woe & mis]y1 & kn[+ !m to be true1 to reta9 any respect = a polygami/1 :oev] he may be4 ,= my own "p ,i reg>d !m all ) su* feel+s ( loa?+ t ,i c h>dly speak civilly ( !m1 & w\ld pref] nev] to speak to !m4 ,i "k scores ( ladies--m>ri$ ladies--,mormon ladies1 :o 9 secret feel & speak j z ,i d ^u ?is subject4 ,= _m ye>s pa/ ! ,am]ican ,eld]s h d]iv$ a ri* h>ve/ f ,brita9 & ,sc&9avia4 ,aft] ! introduction ( ,polygamy1 an ,eld] 0 seldom kn[n to return f ,mission )\t br++ ) him "o1 two1 & sometimes ?ree "y girls1 or else arrang+ 9 "s way = _! emigration4 ,! ,mission>ies1 h[ev]1 pref]r$1 :5ev] x 0 possible1 to br+ ! girls ) !m2 = if !y tru/$ !m to ! c>e ( a bro!r return+ be=e or aft]1 he v frequ5tly turn$ traitor1 & c>ri$ (f ! prize himself4 ,! ,eld]s 7 n p]mitt$ to m>ry ^! extra wives :ile on or return+ f a mission1 unless !y _h special p]mission f ,brigham ,"y4 ,b q a numb] ( ! poor weak bre?r5 7 s impulsive & s anxi\s to be m>ri$1 t !y c\ld n wait = ! c]emonies ( ! ,end[m5t ,h\se4 ,"o consci5ti\s ,swiss bro!r1 nam$ ,loba1 :o c\ld f9d no "o will+ to take ! responsibility ( m>ry+ him :ile cross+ ! ,pla9s1 said t z he 0 an ,eld] he c\ld j z well m>ry himself1 & be "u no obligation to anybody2 & he did s4 ,he _h fall5 9 love ) a little miss--a m]e *ild1 ab\t "o qu>t] ( 8 own age4 ,_m m5 h m>ri$ wives1 & h br\ght !m home1 be=e _! fir/ wives knew ev5 t !y 7 9 love4 ,!y _h n _h c\rage to introduce ! subject1 b believ$ t :5 ! wife f\nd t x 0 done1 & c\ld n be undone1 %e w\ld see ! uselessness ( feel+ badly1 & w\ld soon get ov] x4 ,b no wife :o has be5 ?us treat$ ev] did 8get ov] x40 ,:at c a man "k ( woman's nature :o w\ld d>e to act ?us t[>ds h]1 & ?9k t %e w\ld become reconcil$ to su* treatm5t8 ,:at /range ideas ! ,mormon m5 mu/ h ( woman's nature if !y believe t wom5 c submit to su* treatm5t z ?is & /ill love !m6 ,:at folly to ?9k ev5 ( love6 ,x w\ld be v wrong = me to say t !re are no m5 :o try to be j 9 ! practice ( ,polygamy1 = ,i "k _m :o try _! v be/ to act imp>tially to all _! wives2 b ?is is n really ! result ( _! religion1 ab\t :i* "s ( ^! m5 appe> to c>e v little4 ,i feel sure t if !y are good m51 not)/&+ ! evil effects ( ,mormonism ^u !m1 !y w\ld h be5 mu* bett] m5 )\t x4 ,on ! o!r h&1 ,i h kn[n m5 :o1 be=e !y became ,mormons1 7 reput$ good husb&s & fa!rs1 b :o aft]w>ds became cold & h>% 9 _! natures1 cruel to _! wives1 & neglectful to _! *ildr54 ,x seem$ z if !y ?\ght ( no?+ else b c\rt+ ! girls & tak+ m wives1 altoge!r reg>dless z to :e!r !y c\ld support !m or n4 ,"s ( ! ,eld]s1 f9d+ t !y might n m>ry plural wives be=e !y rea*$ ,utah1 h b\nd ! girls by solemn v[s & cov5ants to m>ry !m :5 !y arriv$ 9 ,salt ,lake ,valley2 & ! poor girls1 believ+ t1 because ^! m5 7 ,mission>ies1 all !y said & did mu/ be "r1 h (t5--9 fact1 9 almo/ e in/ance--to _! own great injury1 kept _! 8cov5ants0 & m>ri$ ! m5 to :om !y 7 v[$4 ,i h kn[n p]sonally & intimately sev]al wom5 :o h 9 ?is way ru9$ _! prospects & blight$ ! hopes ( _! :ole lives1 & sadd] /ories ?an !irs c\ld n be told4 ,my husb& _h aga9 left ,salt ,lake ,city1 & _h gone to 8! ,/ates10 z we !n call$ 8go+ ,ea/20 = x 0 su* a long j\rney t we felt ourselves altoge!r out ( ! pale ( civilization4 ,i felt1 !re=e1 comp>atively free2 = ,i c\ld n[1 :5ev] ,i desir$ to d s1 walk out1 or visit a fri5d1 )\t ! con/ant dread ( meet+ him & 8 wife4 ,x always humiliat$ me to see !m toge!r1 al?\gh ,i believ$ t x 0 p]fectly "r t my husb& %\ld %[ att5tions to 8 o!r wife4 ,x 0 n n[ jeal\sy t ,i felt--! day ( jeal\s feel+ 0 long pa/4 ,i felt disgu/$1 & ,i 0 humbl$ at ! sight ( !m4 ,at "o "t1 = ne>ly six mon?s1 ,i rema9$ at home1 nev] go+ fur!r ?an my own g>d51 simply = ! reason t ,i fe>$ to meet h] 9 ! pres5ce ( any ( my fri5ds--p>ticul>ly any ( my ,g5tile fri5ds2 or worse /ill1 ) him4 ,,*apt] ,,xxxvi4 8,,our0 ,,husb&',s ,,fianc,e--,a ,,second ,,wife',s ,,sorr[s--,,/eps ,,t[>ds ,,apo/asy4 ,at "o "t ,i _h almo/ begun to ?9k t my husb& _h se5 en\gh ( ! discom=ts & he>tlessness ( polygamic life1 & t 8 eyes 7 look+ back wi%fully to ! "t :51 z ! old ,scot* ballad says3 8,"o lov+ he>t 0 all 8 own1 ,b !re z k+ he reign'd supreme40 ,my fai? 9 my own acut5ess & p]ception 01 h[ev]1 v consid]ably %ak5 :5 "o day he told me t he ?\ght x 0 ab\t "t = him to ?9k ( tak+ ano!r wife4 ,i suppose he expect$ t ,i %\ld express "s a/oni%m5t or (f] objections1 = he proce$$ to give me excell5t reasons = :at he 0 ab\t to d4 ,8 greatly improv$ circum/ances2 8 desire to su/a9 8 bre?r52 &1 above all1 ! necessity t he %\ld 8build up a k+dom60 ,!re 0 no ga9say+ all ?is4 ,! ,"l _h c]ta9ly v greatly bless$ him 9 basket & 9 /ore2 x 01 moreov]1 praisewor?y 9 him to wi% to su/a9 8 bre?r52 & nobody c\ld d5y t he ought to h a 8k+dom60 ,to cr[n all1 ! "y lady :om he propos$ to hon\r ?is "t c\ld n possibly be object$ to by any loyal ,sa9t1 = %e 0 ( ! se$ royal ( ! mod]n ,israel--a daught] ( ! high-prie/ly h\se ( ,brigham ,"y6 ,i suppose1 if ,i _h be5 a "r-m9d$ woman1 ,i %\ld h felt ! great glory t !re 0 9 ! propos$ alliance4 ,b1 9 po9t ( fact1 su* is ! p]v]sity ( human nature1 ,i did n feel at all pleas$1 al?\gh ,i c\ld say no?+ 9 objection4 ,i _h _h "s slight suspicion t my husb&'s eyes1 to say no?+ ( 8 he>t1 _h lately be5 incl9$ to w&] 9 a c]ta9 direction1 = he _h become s p>ticul>ly regul> 9 8 att5dance at ! !atre4 ,i m5tion$ ! matt] to him once or twice1 b he answ]$ t z an editor x 0 a matt] ( necessity = him to att5d1 & t he ought to be !re always4 ,?is ,i might1 p]haps1 h believ$1 _h x n be5 t x 0 n[ sev]al ye>s s9ce 8 pap] 0 fir/ e/abli%$1 & hi!rto 8 p]sonal att5dance at e repres5tation _h n be5 consid]$ absolutely indisp5sable4 ,report]s _h be5 able to d all t 0 necess>y4 ,8 proposal to m>ry ?is "y lady1 n[ x 0 op5ly /at$1 %$ light ^u _m ?+s :i* _h be=e appe>$ to me r obscure4 ,h] "n 0 ,z9a1 & %e 0 ! daught] ( ,mrs4 ,z9a ,d4 ,hunt+ton ,jacobs1 :om ,i h already m5tion$ z "o ( ! ,prophet's wives4 ,%e 0 "o ( ! actresses 9 ! !atre--= _m ( ,brigham's daught]s at t "t took "p 9 ! repres5tations--& ,i _h frequ5tly obs]v$ v pretty little notices ( h] 9 ! ,salt ,lake ,daily ,telegraph4 ,i did n mu* c>e n[ h[ _m wives my husb& took--he might z well h tw5ty1 z ! "o too _m :i* he already _h--8 m>riage to ano!r c\ld n possibly make me feel any worse1 provid$ ,i 0 n compell$ to associate ) h]4 ,i _h resolv$ t ,i w\ld nev] live on famili> t]ms ) 8 o!r wives--n because ,i might disrespect or dislike !m p]sonally1 b because ,i c\ld n ov]come ! pur] & bett] tea*+s ( my e>ly life4 ,my husb& 9 due =m propos$1 & 0 accept$2 & x 0 soon rum\r$ abroad t he 0 go+ to _m "o ( ! 8,presid5t's0 daught]s--,brigham is always spok5 ( z 8,presid5t0 ,"y among ! ,sa9ts4 ,9 ! c\rse ( a day or two !y 7 =mally 8engag$10 & a m lov+ c\ple c\ld n possibly h be5 f\nd4 ,! "y lady h]self aft]w>ds told me t _! love 0 ( no ord9>y k9d1 & ,i'm sure ,i did n d\bt h] ^w4 ,b consid] h[ pleasant su* intellig5ce mu/ h be5 to a wife6 ,z9a's fri5ds1 :o wi%$ to *e] me up & make me happy1 told me t my husb&'s love = h] 0 p]fectly engross+2 !y 8?\ght he c\ld nev] h really lov$ be=e0--8!re 0 some?+ v beautiful 9 _! loves60 ,z9a piti$ u1 ,i "k1 :5 %e realiz$ t we c\ld nev] "k ! great dep? ( our husb&'s love = h]4 ,%e spoke & act$ z if ?is 7 h[ %e felt2 & ,i h no d\bt t %e int5d$1 aft] h] m>riage ) our husb&1 to treat u ) great k9dness & consid]ation1 z a sort ( recomp5se = :at we nev] _h truly kn[n1 & nev] c\ld "k n[--our husb&'s love6 ,z is almo/ always ! case :5 ! husb& takes a ?ird wife1 a bett] /ate ( feel+ 0 br\ght ab\t betwe5 my own husb&'s second wife & myself4 ,bel9da no long] c5tr$ all h] jeal\sy 9 me4 ,%e n[1 to a c]ta9 ext5t1 began to realize :at ,i _h suff]$ :5 my husb& c\rt$ h]2 %e felt badly1 & ,i really did sympa?ize ) h] :5 ,i rememb]$ h[ "y %e 01 & t %e 0 ! "m ( ?ree little *ildr54 ,%e _h h] moiety ( a husb&1 x is true2 b1 l all o!r polygamic wives1 t 0 h] mis=tune r ?an h] com=t & /r5g?4 ,_m a wife w\ld be happi] 7 %e a wid[2 9 fact1 wid[s are ! happie/ class ( wom5 9 ,utah1 = !y realize t x is f> bett] to h a dead sorr[ ?an a liv+ "o4 ,n[1 our husb& always ma9ta9$ t he 0 n 9 love ) ,miss ,z9a1 b t 9 mak+ love to h] he 0 act+ entirely f pr9ciple4 ,s all ! bre?r5 say1 & ,i h nev] yet he>d ( any "o ( !m ev] confess+--except1 ( c\rse1 to ! maid5 h]self--t he 0 9 love4 ,to ! maid5 h]self he says1 n only t1 b a great deal m4 ,b if our husb&1 at ! "t ( :i* ,i speak1 0 n 9 love1 ! sa9ts =bid t ,i %\ld ev] see him 9 t condition6 ,i am sure :5 ,i he>d 8 fiance speak+ ( _! devotion to ea* o!r1 & ( ! fond atta*m5t ( h] he>t to him 7= %e felt no delicacy 9 speak+ to me--8 wife--ab\t su* matt]s71 ,i came to ! conclusion t ,i _h nev] kn[n :at x 0 to really love1 & t my nature 0 too crude & unref9$ to und]/& ! my/]ies ( ! t5d] passion4 ,!re 0 no love 9 ! case1 our husb& told u--all pure duty6 ,long c\rt%ips _h become q fa%ionable among ! bre?r5 9 ,salt ,lake ,city1 & ,i dread$ a long c\rt%ip m ?an any?+ else1 = !re is s mu* t is humiliat+1 & ,i might ev5 say disgu/+1 to a wife :5 h] husb& is engag$ 9 love-mak+ to ano!r woman1 t ,i hop$1 z mu* z possible1 to be sp>$ pass+ ?r\gh su* an ordeal a second "t4 ,z ! accept$ lov] & affianc$ husb& ( ,bro!r ,brigham's daught]1 our husb& 01 ( c\rse1 con/antly 9 att5dance at ! ,prophet's h\se4 ,b he 0 n ! only good bro!r :o sp5t 8 ev5+s 9 ,brigham ,"y's p>l\r2 = x 0 !n--& ,i suppose x is to-day--a regul> r5dezv\s = middle-ag$ & "y m51 & ev5 boys2 & !re ! ,prophet's little girls1 z well z ^? :o 7 gr[n or gr[+ up1 obta9$ an excell5t tra9+ 9 ! art ( flirt+ & c\rt+4 ,x has always be5 said among ! ,sa9ts t ,brigham's girls1 & ! daught]s ( ,daniel ,h4 ,wells1 7 ! bolde/ & lea/ retir+ maid5s to be f\nd 9 ,salt ,lake ,city1 & t !y presum$ greatly ^u _! imag9>y high position2 :i* position nobody b !mselves c>$ any?+ ab\t4 ,x is well kn[n t ! v p ^u :om !y look d[n are ^? :o rightly %\ld receive _! w>me/ gratitude & respect1 on acc\nt ( ! m ?an lib]al support :i* !y h giv5 to _! fa!r1 ev5 to ! detrim5t ( _! own *ildr54 ,:5 fir/ ,i he>d t my husb& _h set 8 affections ^u "o ( ^! girls1 ,i felt conv9c$ t he c\ld n h made a v wise *oice2 & ,i c\ld n help dread+ t ! m]e fact ( my husb& hav+ select$ a daught] ( ! ,prophet z 8 future wife w\ld br+ tr\ble ^u u all4 ,:at %ape t tr\ble w\ld take ,i c\ld =m no conjecture1 b ,i felt sure t a *ange ( "s sort 0 fa/ approa*+4 ,my fai? 0 almo/ gone2 ,i felt ! degrad+ position 9 :i* ! 8,cele/ial0 sy/em plac$ me & my *ildr51 & x seem$ to me t ,i c\ld no long] endure x4 ,my *ildr5 ,i c\ld n1 & w\ld n leave1 b x 0 impossible = me to cont9ue to live z ,i _h be5 liv+2 nor w\ld ,i ?9k ( br++ up my *ildr5 any long] to believe & live a religion :i* _h s cruelly blight$ my own life4 ,x 0 = !m t ,i fe>$ n[2 ,i felt t = _! sake ,i mu/ break away f ?is horrible sy/em4 ,my own life1 ,i ?\ght1 0 n wor? c>+ =1 b ! idea ( my little girls gr[+ up & foll[+ 9 my foot/eps & endur+ z ,i _h endur$1 0 m ?an ,i c\ld be>4 ,some?+ mu/ be done to save !m f su* a fate4 ,ab\t ?is "t ,i procur$ a copy ( ! 8,revelation on ,cele/ial ,m>riage10 & read x ?r\gh c>efully & calmly1 f beg9n+ to end4 ,! read] may1 p]haps1 rememb] t :5 a copy ( x 0 fir/ giv5 to me1 9 ,switz]l&1 ye>s be=e1 ,i 0 s angry & indignant t :5 ,i _h got only p>tly ?r\gh x ,i ca/ x f me 9 disgu/ z an outrage ^u all t 0 good & true4 ,f t "t1 al?\gh ,i _h he>d portions ( x quot$ & read1 ,i _h nev] p]us$ x z a :ole4 ,on two occasions1 at lea/1 my fri5d ,m>y ,burton 0 v ne> read+ x ?r\gh ) me1 & _h we done s1 ,i h n ! slighte/ d\bt t my eyes w\ld h be5 op5$ to ! absurdity & wick$ness ( ! :ole sy/em1 & ye>s ( wret*$ness w\ld h be5 sp>$ me4 ,su*1 h[ev]1 0 n ! case4 ,x 0 n until ,i _h almo/ dra9$ ! cup ( sorr[ & degradation t1 at la/1 ,i f\nd an antidote 9 ! deadly ?+ itself :i* _h be5 ! s\rce ( all my unhapp9ess4 ,i 0 act+ ^u ! homopa?ic pr9ciple--8similia similibus curantur0--& us+ a dose ( poison to cure a disease caus$ by t poison4 ,z ,i read1 ,i saw pla9ly1 f ! word+ ( ! docum5t1 t if ev] x 0 giv5 to ,joseph ,smi?--no matt] by :om--x 0 giv5 long aft] he _h practis$ ,polygamy--or some?+ z bad--& to sanction :at he _h already done4 ,i _h read 9 ! ,book ( ,mormon3 8,david & ,solomon truly _h _m wives & concub9es1 :i* ?+ 0 an abom9ation be=e me1 sai? ! ,"l4444 ,he>k5 to ! ,^w ( ! ,"l3 = !re %all n any man among y h1 save x be "o wife2 & concub9es he %all h none40 ,book ( ,mormon1 p4 #aah4 ,9 ! ,book ( ! ,cov5ants1 giv5 ?r\gh ,joseph ,smi?1 & held sacr$ by e ,sa9t1 ,i _h read3 8,?\ %alt love ?y wife ) all ?y he>t1 & cleave unto h] & none else40 ,book ( ,cov5ants1 p4 #abd4 ,& yet :5 ,i turn$ to ! 8,revelation0 ,i f\nd 9 ! v fir/ clause3 8,v]ily1 ?us sai? ! ,"l unto my s]vant ,joseph1 t inasmu* z y h enquir$ at my h&1 to "k & und]/& :]e9 ,i1 ! ,"l1 ,,ju/ifi$ 6 my s]vants ,abraham1 ,isaac & ,jacob1 z also ,moses1 ,david & ,solomon1 my s]vants1 z t\*+ ! pr9ciple & doctr9e ( _! hav+ _m wives & concub9es10 c4 ,:at c\ld ,i possibly ?9k ( a 8,prophet0 :o1 aft] hav+ ! law laid d[n s cle>ly1 & be+ told s di/9ctly t ! do+s ( ,david & ,solomon 7 an 8abom9ation10 & t a man %\ld h b "o wife1 %\ld enquire ( ! ,"l h[ ,he 8ju/ifi$0 ! v ?+s :i* ,he _h j decl>$ 7 8an abom9ation0 unto ,him8--,!n1 too1 :at blasphemy to repres5t ,god z "o day giv+ a 8,revelation0 decl>+ a ?+ s9ful1 & ! next day 8ju/ify+0 x6 ,i felt p]fectly humiliat$ ) myself t ,i _h nev] be=e _h ! c\rage to look ! matt] calmly 9 ! face & discov]1 z ,i mu/ h discov]$1 _h ,i only us$ my unaid$ reason1 ! %ameful impo/ure :i* _h be5 palm$ ^u u4 ,i n[ made c>eful enquiry1 & x 0 soon cle> to me t evid5ce 0 n want+ to prove t ! doctr9e ( plural m>riages orig9at$ 9 ! lic5ti\s he>ts ( ,joseph ,smi? & ^? associat$ ) him4 ,:5 once ,i 0 conv9c$ ( t1 ! :ole fabric ( my religion crumbl$ be=e my eyes2 & f t "t ,i c h>dly say t ,i _h fai? 9 any?+ t _h be5 taught me4 ,my husb&'s second wife 0 also v unhappy n[4 ,%e1 too1 aft] ! g5]al rule1 _h flatt]$ h]self t %e 0 88 fir/ & only love10 & x 0 n pleasant to h h] dream ( happ9ess dispell$2 b n[ t ano!r 8jewel0 0 to be add$ to our husb&'s cr[n1 %e c\ld no long] deceive h]self4 ,%e little knew1 poor girl1 :5 %e m>ri$1 t a ,mormon's he>t is l a honeycomb--!re is always a vacant cell :]e9 ano!r may ne/le4 ,real tr\ble1 too1 %e _h4 ,"o ( h] *ildr5 0 tak5 v sick1 & aft] a v sev]e illness di$4 ,i rema9$ ) h] night & day1 & did :at ,i c\ld = ! poor *ild4 ,_h x be5 possible = me to h felt a great] loa?+ & dete/ation = t vile sy/em ( ,polygamy1 t feel+ w\ld h be5 conceiv$ :ile ,i wat*$ at ! b$side ( my husb&'s dy+ *ild4 ,x 0 !re t ,i v[$ t no polygami/s %\ld ev] m>ry ano!r daught] ( m9e1 & resolv$ t to my dy+ day my voice %\ld be rais$ aga9/ ! unholy & unnatural tea*+s ( ! ,mormon ,prie/hood4 ,i look$ at t lonely "y "m1 :o 9 h] h\r ( trial ought to h _h all h] husb&'s sympa?y1 all 8 att5tion1 to support h]2 b :o1 in/ead1 knew t1 h[ev] k9d he might be to h]1 he 0 contemplat+ a new m>riage1 & 8 ?\ghts mu/ ( necessity be m or less ) 8 purpos$ bride4 ,all unk9d feel+ 0 bani%$ f my he>t--,i =got t %e 0 my husb&'s wife1 & rememb]$ only t1 l myself1 %e 0 a suff]+ woman1 a victim to a false fai?2 & ,i felt v deeply = h] 9 h] "t ( sorr[ & b]eavem5t4 ,my husb&1 at ?is "t1 _h be5 a memb] ( ! ,mormon ,*ur* = tw5ty-five ye>s4 ,he _h lectur$1 prea*$1 writt5 & publi%$1 9 ,great ,brita91 ,switz]l&1 & ! ,unit$ ,/ates1 9 support ( ! ,mormon fai?4 ,he _h be5 a mo/ e>ne/ & consi/5t memb] ( ! ,*ur*1 & devot$ly atta*$ to ,brigham ,"y4 ,?is atta*m5t to ,bro!r ,brigham he %>$ 9 common ) all ! /aun*e/ ( 8 bre?r52 = :ile ! memb]s ( ! ,*ur* reta9 un%ak5 confid5ce 9 ! new revelation1 !y naturally acquire a great reg>d = ! ,prophet1 & r5d] him unque/ion+ ob$i5ce4 ,i believe t my husb& w\ld will+ly h laid d[n 8 life1 if by s do+ he c\ld h %ield$ ,brigham ,"y f h>m or h be5 ( ess5tial s]vice to him4 ,b causes 7 n[ 9 op]ation :i*1 by-&-by1 deta*$ him f ! ,*ur*1 & made x possible = me also to leave ! ,mormon fai?4 ,hi!rto1 = my *ildr5's sake1 ,i d>$ n leave ! ,*ur* )\t my husb&1 & ,i !re=e anxi\sly wat*$ = any?+ :i* might rescue him f ! bondage 9 :i* he 0 held4 ,z proprietor ( a daily pap]1 8 bus9ess _h frequ5tly call$ him to ! ,ea/]n ,/ates = sev]al mon?s at a "t1 & ,i obs]v$ t aft] ^? visits 8 editorials took a m lib]al turn4 ,my ,mormon fri5ds frequ5tly said to me1 8,bro!r ,/5h\se is do+ himself no good by 8 con/ant association ) ! ,g5tiles20 & subsequ5tly1 :5 he did apo/atize1 our secession f ! ,*ur* 0 attribut$ to contam9at+ ,g5tile influ5ces4 ,!n1 too1 we _h frequ5t visits f /rang]s pass+ ?r\gh ,salt ,lake ,city4 ,i saw1 ) pleasure1 t ?is int]c\rse ) ! outside _w 0 gradually und]m9+ my husb&'s confid5ce 9 ! tea*+s ( ! ,eld]s1 & x gave me c\rage to hope t1 aft] all1 ! day ( lib]ty might dawn at la/4 ,feel+ z ,i did ?us1 x w n surprise ! read] t ,i reg>d$ ) m & m di/ru/ ! propos$ m>riage ( my husb& to ,bro!r ,brigham's daught]2 = ,i felt t !n he w\ld be deep] ?an ev] 9 ! toils ( ! ,prie/hood1 & ,i sometimes almo/ believ$ t x 0 my duty to use e influ5ce 9 my p[] to prev5t x4 ,putt+ my own feel+s out ( ! "q1 x is probable t ,i might h done ?is simply = 8 own good2 = ,i d\bt$ n t "s day ! scales mu/ fall f 8 eyes1 & !n he w\ld be ?ankful t ,i _h prev5t$ ! m>riage4 ,our pa?s by ?is "t _h c]ta9ly div]g$ f> asund]1 & my husb& _h ano!r wife & family2 b ,i believ$ t he 0 s9c]e1 ?\gh sadly mi/ak51 or ,i %\ld n h felt s k9dly t[>ds him z ,i did4 ,at o!r times1 & obs]v+ 8 devotion1 ,i almo/ myself began to ?9k t p]haps ! nons5se t ,i _h he>d 01 aft] all1 true1 & t ?is girl 0 ! only "o he _h really lov$2 &1 if s1 ( c\rse he ought to m>ry h]4 ,9 fact1 s divid$ 0 my att5tion t ,i h>dly knew :at to ?9k2 ,i !re=e resolv$ to act accord+ to circum/ances4 ,brigham ,"y1 9 "o ( 8 s]mons1 says t 8! fir/ ?+ manife/$ 9 ! case ( apo/asy 0 ! idea t ! ,prophet 0 liable to make a mi/ake3 :5 a man believes t1 he has tak5 ! fir/ /ep t[>ds apo/asy2 he ne$ only take "o /ep m1 & he is out ( ! ,*ur*40 ,?is 0 spok5 ( ,joseph & 8 sa9ts1 b x suits j z well ,brigham & 82 ,i knew v well t my husb& _h tak5 ! fir/ /ep1 & ,i s9c]ely hop$ t he might soon take ! second4 ,= my own "p1 ,i _h = "s "t n only believ$ t a ,prophet might be mi/ak51 b1 z ,bro!r ,heb] w\ld say1 ,i knew x4 ,my husb& & 8 bride elect1 l all o!r lov]s1 _h frequ5t little qu>rels--,i suppose = ! purpose ( mak+ up aga91 & be+ !n all ! m ard5t 9 _! affection4 ,b !y n[ _h a disagreem5t :i* la/$ long] ?an all t _h gone be=e2 al?\gh ,i suppose t nei!r ( !m _h1 at t "t1 ! slighte/ idea h[ x 0 go+ to end4 ,!y _h be5 c\rt+ = fifte5 mon?s at lea/1 & aft] s mu* devotion on ! "p ( my husb&1 & s mu* f]v5t affection on ! "p ( ! "y lady1 x really did seem too bad t s l>ge an am\nt ( love %\ld be ?r[n away4 ,x 0 h>d t aft] su* a long /ra9 ^u _! religi\s & devotional feel+s--= !y 7 bo? v pi\s lov]s--all _! lab\r ( love %\ld come to n\ght4 ,?+s _h c]ta9ly tak5 a twi/1 = ,i knew well en\gh t at "o "t !y bo? firmly believ$ t _! m>riage 0 pre-orda9$ 9 heav51 & t !y 7 z completely "o 9 feel+ z mortals ev] c\ld be4 ,! "m1 too1 :o 0 a v pi\s woman1 once told my husb& t %e _h _h a vision 9 :i* x 0 reveal$ to h] t !y 7 de/9$ = ea* o!r 9 ! et]nal worlds3--! lov]s ( c\rse firmly believ$ h]4 ,b1 = all t1 ! e/rangem5t /ill cont9u$1 & my husb& 0 con/antly mak+ x wid] by ! articles :i* appe>$ 9 8 pap]1 until at la/ c]ta9 ( ! si/]s :isp]$ t ! he>t ( ! lady _h be5 attract$ t[>ds "s bright] lum9>y4 ,long c\rt%ips (t5 end disa/r\sly2 b :5 ,i he>d rum\rs ( ! lady's presum$ fai?lessness1 x seem$ to me h>dly fair1 = ! day _h be5 fix$ = ! m>riage & ! w$d+-dress actually made4 ,( c\rse ,i sympa?iz$ ) my husb&4 ,w\ld any wife l to see h] husb& disappo9t$ 9 8 love-affairs ) ano!r woman1 ,i wond]8 ,:ile "u ^! natural feel+s ( indignation1 ,i "o day told ,brigham ,"y t ,i ?\ght1 aft] all ! c\rt+ t _h be5 done--& x 0 n a trifle--!y c]ta9ly ought to be m>ri$4 ,he said he 0 will+ en\gh himself1 if !y wi%$ x2 b girls1 he said1 (t5 *ang$ _! m9ds1 & z !y c\ld b h "o husb&1 x 0 only fair t _! wi%es %\ld be consult$4 8,if ,z9a has really *ang$ h] m9d10 he add$1 8,i h pl5ty ( o!r daught]s1 & !y h all got to be m>ri$2 let him take "o ( !m--if "o won't ano!r w60 ,! read] w see ! lib]al ideas :i* ,bro!r ,brigham ent]ta9s on ! subject ( m>riage4 ,x may1 p]haps1 seem r /range t ,i %\ld be anxi\s to h !m m>ry2 b1 aft] all t ,i _h se5 & endur$ 9 ,polygamy1 c x be wond]$ at t ,i %\ld no long] reg>d ! fa!r ( my *ildr5 z my own husb&8 ,_h ,i ?\ght him a bad man1 or _h he act$ z ,i "k _m ( ! good bre?r5 d act2 _h he br\ght home girl aft] girl ) ! hope ( allur+ "o or m ( !m into ,polygamy1 or _h he be5 utt]ly reckless ( my feel+s1 ,i might p]haps h be5 able to ca/ him f my he>t )\t a s+le regret4 ,b ,i really believ$ t he 0 act+ consi/5tly ) ! tea*+s ( 8 religion1 & if ,i felt degrad$ by ! life ,i liv$1 x 0 n 8 fault--x 0 ! fault ( ! sy/em4 ,i !re=e felt t if ?+s came to ! wor/1 & if ,i 7 driv5 to extremities1 & =c$ to sep>ate f him1 ,i %\ld l to "k t he _h a wife :om he lov$4 ,i felt c]ta9 t !re 0 n[ b little love betwe5 him & 8 second wife1 & t "s day a sep>ation 0 sure to take place4 ,! idea ( divorce 0 s repugnant to my feel+s t x 0 only 9 mom5ts :5 grief ov]p[]$ me1 & my he>t 0 wrung ) angui%1 & ,i felt utt]ly reckless1 t ,i = "o mom5t ?\ght ( any?+ l x4 ,ev5 !n ,i only ent]ta9$ ! idea ( a sep>ate life--n divorce4 ,,*apt] ,,xxxvii4 ,,"s ,,curi\s ,,c\rt%ips--,,brigham ,,ru9s ,,our ,,=tunes--,,bel9da ,,divorces 8,,our0 ,,husb&4 ,mormonism _h be51 to my husb&1 ev]y?+4 ,x _h = ye>s gr[n ) 8 gr[?1 until x _h become a "p ( himself4 ,d\bts _h occasionally crept into 8 m9d1 x is true1 b x requir$ "t to effect a *ange4 ,! measures adopt$ by ,brigham ,"y 9 ! spr+ ( #ahfi1 = ! purpose ( controll+ ! comm]ce ( ,utah1 z well z ! prop]ty & fai? ( ! p1 caus$ great discont5t4 ,! tea*+s ( ! ,tab]nacle 7 wild & arrogant1 & ,brigham assum$ t x 0 8 "r to dictate 9 ev]y?+1 8ev510 he said1 8to ! sett+ up ( a /ock+ or ! ribbons :i* a woman %\ld we>40 ,_m ( ! p1 :5 !y he>d ^! words & witness$ ! fanaticism creat$ !reby1 7 ar\s$ to opposition1 b ,brigham only became m fi]ce 9 8 d5unciations & m h>% 9 8 measures4 ,i c\ld pla9ly see t all ?is _h !1 to me1 mu* desir$ effect ( ali5at+ my husb& f ,mormonism1 & ,i nev] all[$ an opportunity ( /r5g!n+ ! impression ?us produc$ to pass unimprov$4 ,! articles 9 8 pap] %[$ ! condition ( 8 m9d1 & br\ght d[n ^u him ! wra? ( ,brigham4 ,at ?is also ,i rejoic$1 & did n fail to make him feel t he ought to res5t ! ,prophet's int]f]5ce4 ,brigham felt too c]ta9 ( ! submission ( 8 slave1 & accus$ ,mr4 ,/5h\se ( hav+ publi%$ fav\rable notices ( ,g5tile /ores1 also ( hav+ _! adv]tisem5ts 9 8 pap]1 & o!rwise aid+ & abett+ ! wick$ ,g5tiles--all :i* accusations my husb& began to feel 0 an infr+em5t ^u 8 own private p]sonal rights z a citiz5 & a man4 ,"o circum/ance foll[$ ano!r1 & ,i c\ld pla9ly see t 8 confid5ce 9 ,brigham's inspiration 0 sl[ly b surely dw9dl+ away1 & t ! day :i* ,i _h s long anxi\sly wat*$ = 0 break+ at la/4 ,not)/&+ ?is1 h[ev]1 !re 0 "o bond :i* /ill unit$ him by no weak tie to ! ,*ur*--he 0 a ,polygami/4 ,! contemplat$ m>riage betwe5 him & ,brigham's daught] c\ld1 ,i believ$1 nev] n[ take place2 b1 ev5 all[+ t1 he /ill _h ano!r wife2 & n[ t ,i _h entirely lo/ fai? 9 ,mormonism g5]ally1 & ! 8,cele/ial ,ord] ( ,m>riage0 9 p>ticul>1 ,i resolv$ t ,i w\ld no long] h a p>tn] 9 my husb&'s affections--z if he 7 a 8jo9t-/ock conc]n60--,i w\ld h ! :ole ( my husb&1 or none4 ,i _h n yet1 h[ev]1 suffici5t c\rage to speak to him ( my feel+s4 ,"o ,sunday ev5+1 ,mr4 ,/5h\se1 :5 he came home1 said to me3 8,bro!r ,brigham has giv5 me a mission2 he wi%es me to g to ,ogd5 & publi% my pap] !re40 ,i c imag9e ,i see "s /rong-m9d$ woman smile at ! idea ( a wife want+ c\rage to speak to h] husb&4 ,b su* wom5 d n "k :at ,mormonism is4 ,?is 0 v unexpect$ news2 b ) ! vividness ( lightn+1 a glimpse ( :at ! ,prophet int5d$ by su* a /range proposition fla%$ across my m9d4 8,he wi%es to ru9 u60 ,i exclaim$2 8y surely w n g60 ,n[ ,brigham1 ( c\rse1 knew t my husb&'s pap] _h a l>ge circulation 9 ,utah ,t]ritory z well z 9 ,salt ,lake ,city1 & t 8 bus9ess 0 9 a mo/ prosp]\s condition2 he knew also t to d aught t might impair or de/roy t bus9ess w\ld be to br+ mis]y & disa/] ^u all :o 7 dep5d5t ^u x = _! daily bread4 ,& yet1 = all t1 he told my husb& to break up 8 e/abli%m5t1 or 9 8 own words1 8to pull up root & bran*10 & g to a place :]e ! p 7 s mis]ably poor t x 0 impossible to make a newspap] successful among !m4 ,9 all ?is ! crafty ,prophet no d\bt act$ wisely4 ,! ,daily ,telegraph w\ld 9 all probability become a p[] 9 ! ,t]ritory1 & he fe>$ t 9 a %ort "t x w\ld emancipate itself f 8 control4 ,i d n d\bt t1 long be=e ?is "t1 he _h not$ t my husb& 0 weak5+ 9 ! fai?2 b he _h wait$ = 8 opportunity1 & n[ he consid]$ t x _h come4 ,we knew v well t ?is 0 ! way 9 :i* he _h always act$ t[>ds ^? :om he fe>$ or d\bt$2 :5 he saw !m gr[+ weak 9 ! fai? he ru9$ !m1 or did ! be/ he c\ld to t effect1 be=e !y f9ally left ! ,*ur*4 ,i urg$ my husb& to resi/ ?is arbitr>y decree on ! "p ( ! ,prophet1 & repres5t$ /rongly ! mis]y :i* w\ld result f 8 failure1 & ! utt] impossibility ( success4 ,b ,i soon f\nd t1 ?\gh he d\bt$ ,brigham1 8 fai? 9 ,mormonism 0 by no means all gone--he1 l _m ano!r1 fe>$ t 9 disobey+ ,brigham1 p]haps1 aft] all1 he might be resi/+ ,god4 ,he c\ld see ! wrong-do+ ( ! ,prophet1 & felt t 8 conduct 0 unwor?y ( "o :o pret5d$ to su* great ?+s2 b be reg>d$ ?is z ! weakness ( ! ,prophet's humanity1 at ! same "t believ+ t 9 matt]s ( religion he might be div9ely inspir$4 ,he 0 /ill s "u ! influ5ce ( ! pa/ t he c\ld n yet break asund] ! yoke & bid defiance to ,brigham & ! ,prie/hood4 ,he told me t n[ 0 ! "t = him to prove 8 ob$i5ce1 co/ :at x might2 & all ! bre?r5 urg$ him to submit1 say+ t ! ,"l w\ld ov]rule ev]y?+ = 8 good4 ,believ+ ?is1 he broke up 8 e/abli%m5t at ,salt ,lake ,city1 & w5t1 z 8c\nsell$10 to ,ogd54 ,!re he rema9$ = sev]al mon?s1 dur+ :i* "t he 0 los+ money e day4 ,f9d+ at la/ t he c\ld /& x no long]1 he ask$ ,brigham ,"y's p]mission to return & recomm5ce 8 pap] 9 ,salt ,lake ,city1 = no "o !n d>$ /ir a foot )\t p]mission4 ,?is 0 grant$1 = ,brigham _h n[ accompli%$ 8 purpose4 ,b "s ( our fri5ds told me t ! tea*]s1 :5 mak+ _! weekly visits1 7 tell+ ! p n to take 9 ,bro!r ,/5h\se's pap] aga91 if he came back to ,salt ,lake ,city1 = he 0 apo/atiz+1 & !y mu/ n su/a9 an ,apo/ate4 ,n[1 ,i ?\ght1 my husb& w believe t ,i 0 "r 9 my judgm5t ( ,brigham's motives4 ,my own family & t ( ! second wife did n accompany my husb& to ,ogd52 he 0 !re=e q at home :5 he return$1 b ! exp5se ( transf]r+ 8 bus9ess f "o place to ano!r 0 p]fectly ru9\s4 ,he _h n only pur*as$ valuable prop]ty1 z ,i be=e m5tion$1 9 ! ,city1 b he _h also realiz$ q a com=table little =tune by ! success ( 8 pap]2 b n[ ! prop]ty _h to be mortgag$1 & 8 =tune 01 ( c\rse1 utt]ly insuffici5t = ^! heavy daily losses4 ,j !n1 ! sev]e illness ( my elde/ son1 9 ,san ,francisco1 made x necess>y t we %\ld leave imm$iately to att5d him1 = we _h receiv$ intellig5ce t he 0 n at all likely to recov]4 ,z x 0 my own son :o 0 sick1 my husb& _h v naturally det]m9$ t ,i %\ld accompany him2 b ?is br\ght on su* a sev]e fit ( jeal\sy on ! "p ( 8 "y wife1 :o already 0 by no means too happy1 t :5 we return$1 aft] my son's recov]y1 %e ?reat5$ to obta9 a divorce4 ,my husb& told me ( ?is1 b ,i _h s frequ5tly he>d su* ?reats f wives :o 7 unhappy or neglect$ t ,i ?\ght little ab\t x4 ,"o day1 n long aft] our return1 ,i 0 q surpris$ to see ,mr4 ,/5h\se & ,joseph ,a4 ,"y drive up to ! door1 look+ z if some?+ ( great importance _h j transpir$4 ,mr4 ,/5h\se jump$ out ( 8 buggy & hurri$ly gave me a lett]1 z ,i ?\ght--at ! same "t say+1 8,take great c>e ( ?is1 = x makes me a free man aga940 ,say+ ?is1 he left ! h\se1 jump$ into ! buggy aga91 & 0 gone1 :ile ,i /ood hold+ ! pap]1 wond]+ :at x all c\ld mean4 ,my husb& _h told me to 8take c>e0 ( ! pap]4 ,he nei!r said 8read x0 or 8don't read x10 &1 ( c\rse1 ,i 0 n 9 ! lea/ curi\s4 ,! envelope 0 n seal$1 s ,i made up my m9d t1 ?\gh he _h n said s1 he mu/ h wi%$ me to read :at 0 inside1 & at any rate ,i resolv$ to risk do+ s4 ,to my a/oni%m5t ,i f\nd t ! docum5t :i* he said set him free 0 no?+ else ?an a bill ( divorce betwe5 him & 8 "y wife4 ,x appe>$ aft]w>ds t %e _h be5 to ,bro!r ,brigham1 _h told him ( h] grievances1 & _h ask$ = a divorce4 ,n[ :5 ! wife ( any man :o is ( good /&+ 9 ! ,*ur*1 & :om ,brigham wi%es to hon\r1 comes to him = a divorce1 he g5]ally s5ds = ! husb& fir/1 tells him ab\t x1 & !y talk x ov] toge!r4 ,! husb& is c\nsell$ to 8make ! matt] up10 & a compromise is effect$4 ,9 ! case ( my husb&1 ,brigham act$ o!rwise4 ,! cl]k _h be5 direct$ to make out ! pap]s1 :i* ! second wife sign$1 &1 z f> z %e 0 conc]n$1 h] m>riage 0 dissolv$4 ,my husb& 0 !n notifi$ t he 0 want$ at ! ,prophet's (fice1 & he _h a v %rewd guess z to :at ! nature ( ! bus9ess 0 = :i* 8 pres5ce 0 desir$4 ,he wait$ till ! aft]noon1 :5 he knew t ,brigham w\ld be abs5t1 & !n z he 0 driv+ out ) ,joseph ,a41 ! ,prophet's son1 he drew up be=e ! (fice & ask$ ,joseph to accompany him inside 9 ord] to witness a little bus9ess :i* he _h to transact4 ,joseph agre$2 b :5 he f\nd :at ! bus9ess really 01 he /rongly urg$ my husb& n to sign ! pap]s1 or1 at lea/1 to take "t & consult ) ,presid5t ,"y fir/4 ,mr4 ,/5h\se1 h[ev]1 nev] = a mom5t d\bt$ t ,brigham _h expect$ by ?is ha/y move to br+ him to 8 feet1 & he w\ld n !re=e yield4 ,s1 ask+ ! cl]k = ! pap]s1 he sign$ !m1 & ,joseph also sign$ !m z a witness2 ! o!r witness 0 ,david ,mack5zie1 ,brigham's cl]k4 ,bel9da _h already affix$ h] "n4 ,t5 doll>s 7 !n h&$ ov] z ! usual fee4 ,my husb& took "o copy ( ! 8bill ( divorce10 ! wife _h a "r to a second copy1 & ! ?ird 0 deposit$ 9 ! ar*ives ( ,zion4 ,my husb& _h !n1 z we h se51 ha/5$ home to tell me t he 0 8a free man30 & yet ^! two _h be5 8seal$0 to ea* o!r at ! alt> 9 ! ,end[m5t ,h\se 8= all et]nity60 ,?is is ! way t divorces are grant$ 9 ,utah4 ,!re is n ! slighte/ difficulty ab\t !m1 if only ,bro!r ,brigham is will+4 ,! read] w\ld1 p]haps1 be int]e/$ 9 see+ "o ( ^! t]rible docum5ts4 ,i !re=e app5d a true1 p]fect1 & exact copy ( my husb&'s own bill ( divorce4 ,x is a fac-simile--type1 signatures1 & all4 ,?is is a specim5 ( an or?odox divorce among ! bon ton 9 ,salt ,lake ,city4 ,out 9 ! ,settlem5ts !y d ?+s 9 a mu* m primitive /yle1 & "s ( _! docum5ts are r amus+4 ,! foll[+ is a correct copy ( a ,mormon divorce bill tak5 f ! records ( ,beav] ,city3-- ,m>* #h? #ahga ,to :omsoev] x may conc]n ,?is is to c]tify 9 ! beg9n+ ( #ahfi :5 ,i gave a bill ( divorce to ,s>ah ,ann ,l[ry ,i gave to h] = ! good ( h] f\r *ildr5 ! foll[+ prop]ty viz4 ,a p>cel ( l& ( ab\t n9e acres enclos$ all ar\nd ) a h\se ( two rooms & "o c[ & heif] ,,william ,c ,,ritt] ,i c\ld1 if space p]mitt$1 give _m o!rs equally int]e/+4 ,illu/ration3 ,,fac-,,simile ,,( ,a ,,mormon 8,,bill ,,( ,,divorce40 ,to face p4 #cdd4 ,i _c say t ,i 0 mu* griev$ at ! sight ( my husb&'s divorce4 ,at ! same "t1 long tra9+ 9 ! s*ool ( tr\ble _h h>d5$ my he>t & r5d]$ me almo/ indiff]5t1 & ,i _c say t ,i v greatly rejoic$4 ,nature adapts u morally1 z well z physically1 to ! positions :i* we h to occupy 9 life4 ,! h& ( him :o lab\rs mu* becomes h>d1 ! un%odd5 foot gr[s horny1 & ! he>t :i* at fir/ is t5d] &1 l ! olian h>p1 ready to answ] to ! slighte/ pass+ brea?1 by & by1 b5ea? ! r\gh h& ( trial & ! _w1 becomes call\s & /ony1 & ! r\ghe/ /orms & ! sweete/ pleasures alike seem to make little impression ^u x4 ,?us x 0 ) me :5 ,i receiv$ t pap]4 ,a few ye>s be=e1 a reliable assurance t my husb& w\ld nev] ent] into ,polygamy w\ld h be5 to me ! realization ( my be/ e>?ly wi%es4 ,b n[ my he>t 0 almo/ dead1 & ,i felt z if ,i h>dly c>$ "o way or ! o!r4 ,if ,i felt ?us1 :o _h /ill all my d>l+ *ildr5 ar\nd me1 :o _h nev] miss$ "o de> little face f ! fireside or f ! table1 :at mu/ h be5 endur$ by ^? mo!rs :o n only gave away _! husb&s to o!r wives1 b :o lo/ *ild aft] *ild1 until1 b]eft ( all !y lov$ on e>?1 !y c\ld b1 l ,ra*ael1 sit d[n 9 a%es & m\rn = ! dead8 ,b ! m ,i ?\ght ov] :at _h happ5$1 ! m d\btful ,i felt z to :at ! result w\ld be4 ,t !re w\ld be "s great *ange 9 our life1 ,i felt assur$2 b to me ! *ange 0 com+ almo/ too late4 ,!n1 too1 ! "y wife :o 9 h] ha/y ang] _h obta9$ ! divorce4 ,i felt t h] happ9ess mu/ surely be gone1 & ,i c\ld n be> ! ?\ght t my peace %\ld be pur*as$ ) ! sorr[s ( ano!r4 ,bro!r ,brigham's "p 9 ! matt] 0 also ev] pres5t 9 my m9d4 ,t he _h resolv$ to br+ ru9 ^u my husb& ,i did n n[ = a mom5t d\bt4 ,b if a weak woman's ef=ts c\ld 9 any way assi/ 9 ?w>t+ 8 designs1 ,i fully resolv$ t he nev] %\ld h ! satisfaction ( see+ ^? designs successful4 ,i w\ld /& by my husb&1 ,i w\ld "w = & assi/ him1 & w\ld give n ev5 a pass+ ?\ght to :at ,i might h suff]$1 or rememb] t he _h ev] lov$ o!rs bett] ?an myself4 ,i w\ld be to him n[ ! true wife t be=e ,god ,i _h v[$ to be1 = worse z well z = bett]2 & h[ev] ,i myself might h be5 wrong$1 ,i w\ld1 = my "p1 endeav\r fai?fully to p]=m my :ole duty to my husb& & to ,god4 ,aft] ,i _h =m$ ?is m5tal resolution1 & _h begun to realize our new position1 ,i felt z if awak5+ f a long dream ( _m ye>s4 ,i 0 releas$ f ! clut*es ( t frightful nightm>e--,polygamy2 & ,i c\ld once m take my place beside my husb& z 8 wife4 ,i knew t he w\ld h mu* to cont5d aga9/1 & w\ld ne$ all ! moral support t ,i c\ld accord to him4 ,brigham's ef=ts 9 respect to my husb&'s pap] _h be5 f> too successful1 & al?\gh x 0 /ill c>ri$ on1 fre% difficulties sprang up e day4 ,my husb& _h be5 deceiv$ by ,brigham's oily mann] & plausible way2 b to o!rs 8 int5tion 9 s5d+ him away 0 no secret4 ,a man nam$ ,bull1 :o is n[ & 0 also at t "t employ$ 9 ! ,des]et ,news (fice1 said t no "o b ,mr4 ,/5h\se _h ev] be5 deceiv$ by :at ! ,prophet _h done2 x 0 commonly report$ t ,brigham int5d$ to ru9 my husb&1 & t :5 he prophesi$ t ! pap] 9 ,ogd5 %\ld be a great success1 he 0 himself p]fectly aw>e t x 0 utt]ly impossible t su* c\ld be ! case4 ,:e!r ,brigham 0 ! deceiv] or ! deceiv$1 ,i d n wi% to say4 ,m5 :o consid] !mselves inspir$1 & g on day by day utt]+ all sorts ( nons5se & blasphemy1 & giv+ imp]t95t & mis*iev\s advice 9 ! 8"n ( ! ,"l10 at la/ become ?or\ghly imp]vi\s to reason1 & daily & h\rly deceive !mselves4 ,i hope1 = 8 own sake1 x 0 s ) ,brigham1 = ,i w\ld r believe him a self-made fool ?an a d[nright knave2 & 9 _m ( 8 transactions--p]haps ,i ought almo/ to say all--x is cle> to e "o t he is ei!r "o or ! o!r4 ,( "o ?+ ,i am c]ta9--,i 0 fully cont5t$ t we %\ld lose all1 if only my husb& 7 tak51 once & = ev]1 clean out ( ! me%es ( ,mormonism4 ,we might h to make a t]rible sacrifice1 b to me x 0 a sacrifice well wor? ! mak+4 ,,*apt] ,,xxxviii4 ,,m>y ,,burton--,,life',s ,,j\rney ,,end$3 ,,re/ ,,at ,,la/4 ,x 0 ab\t ?is "t t "o morn+1 v e>ly1 be=e ,i 0 well up1 a "y girl came to ! h\se 9 a great hurry1 ask+ to speak to me )\t a mom5t's delay4 ,i ?rew a wrapp] r\nd me1 & w5t out at once to see h]4 ,%e said %e came f ! h\se ( ,si/] ,m>y ,burton1 & begg$ me to come directly & see h]1 = ,m>y _h tak5 poison1 & x 0 ?\ght %e 0 dy+4 ,n[1 ,i h be5 s mu* engag$ ( late 9 tell+ my own sorr[s1 t ,m>y ,burton has q dropp$ out ( my /ory4 ,b x mu/ n be suppos$ t all t "t ,i saw no?+ ( my poor fri5d4 ,on ! contr>y1 ,i _h se5 h] mu* m frequ5tly ( late ?an ,i us$ to :5 ,i fir/ came to ,salt ,lake ,city4 ,:5 ,i la/ spoke ( h] x 0 :5 %e 0 ab\t to return to ,s\!rn ,utah1 :]e %e & h] husb& !n resid$4 ,x 0 evid5t to me f h] conv]sation1 z x mu/ h be5 to ! read]1 t h] fai? 9 ,mormonism _h ev5 !n entirely gone2 t %e felt h] husb&'s neglect & unk9dness mo/ ke5ly1 & t %e _h become a mis]able1 brok5-he>t$ woman4 ,x 0 v pa9ful to contra/ :at %e n[ 0 ) :at %e _h be5 :5 ,i fir/ knew h]1 & !n to ?9k :at a happy wife & "m %e might h be5 if ! spectre ( ,mormonism _h n cross$ h] pa?4 ,m>y & h] husb&1 ,eld] ,%rewsbury1 left ! ,settlem5ts ab\t a ye> aft] ! "t ,i la/ m5tion$ h]1 & took up _! abode 9 ,salt ,lake ,city4 ,eld] ,%rewsbury _h prosp]$ exce$+ly1 & :5 he came to ,salt ,lake he br\ght ) him1 besides ,m>y1 8 second wife1 ,ell51 :o1 z we be=e notic$1 _h become v mu* atta*$ to h]4 ,! o!r ?ree wives & _! *ildr5 7 left at ! f>m 9 ,s\!rn ,utah4 ,he w\ld probably h br\ght !m all ) him1 _h !re be5 9 ! city a h\se l>ge en\gh to hold !m all4 ,z x 01 he pur*as$ a good lot ab\t half a mile f :]e we resid$1 ) a com=table h\se ^u x2 & !re 8 fir/ & second wives liv$ toge!r4 ,?is 0 ! man :o _h solemnly sworn be=e ,god1 t he w\ld nev] practise ,polygamy6 ,b ,i d\bt if ,eld] ,%rewsbury1 ) 8 com=table h\se 9 ! city1 8 f>m & l&s 9 ! ,s\?1 8 fa/ increas+ prop]ty1 & 8 _m wives1 felt truly ! hundr$? "p ( ! happ9ess :i* he w\ld h exp]i5c$ 9 ! devotion ( "o fai?ful he>t1 ev5 _h x be5 9 ! mid/ ( pov]ty & c>e4 ,he1 h[ev]1 poor infatuat$ man1 did n ?9k ?us2 he 0 actually ev5 n[ c\rt+ a "y girl ( ab\t sev5te5 ye>s ( age1 :o ! two wives daily expect$ w\ld be br\ght home to aid 9 build+ up _! husb&'s 8,k+dom40 ,i d n ?9k ,m>y c>$ mu* ab\t ?is4 ,x 0 ! tak+ ( ! fir/ plural wife t 0 h] great sorr[4 ,aft] t1 h] love = h] husb& weak5$1 until x altoge!r di$ out1 & %e did n c>e h[ _m wives he took4 ,m>y's high _s 0 always urg+ h] into rebellion4 ,9 m>ri$ life bo? husb& & wife give way to ea* o!r 9 a ?\s& little ?+s1 ( no consequ5ce 9 !mselves1 b q suffici5t1 )\t ! pres5ce ( love1 to s[ ! se$s ( discord4 ,b :5 love has fl$1 & ! husb& looks ^u 8 wife--! companion ( 8 y\?1 ! "m ( 8 *ildr5--n z ! p>tn] ( 8 :ole life & ! %>] ( all 8 joys & sorr[s1 b z a p]son ^: pres5ce is a reproa* to him & :o is an inconv5i5ce r ?an o!rwise2 & :5 ! wife reg>ds h] husb& z "o :om =m]ly %e lov$ ) true devotion1 b :o has cruelly brok5 h] he>t & trampl$ ^u h] feel+s1 & :o is no?+ to h] n[ b a tyrant ^: v pres5ce is pa9ful to h]1 c !re !n be any =be>ance1 any ( ^? g5tle k9dnesses1 any ( ^? lov+ =giv5esses1 any ( ^? mutual t5d]nesses & sweet confid5ces :i* con/itute ! *>m ( m>ri$ life8 ,9 giv+ up ,mormonism1 my unhappy fri5d gave up1 z too _m h done1 fai? 9 all else4 ,%e _h liv$1 z %e ?\ght1 a life ( religion2 & :5 %e f\nd :at a t]rible mock]y ( all t is holy t s-call$ religion 01 %e ca/ x aside1 ?9k+ t all religion 0 va94 ,%e did n see t %e w\ld h act$ j z wisely 9 reject+ all food because %e *anc$ to p>take ( "s t 0 poison$2 %e did n see t1 al?\gh ! brok5 re$ on :i* %e re/$ 0 unable to yield h] any true support1 nev]!less ! ev]la/+ f\ndations ( et]nal tru? :i* ,god ,himself has laid c nev] be remov$2 & t ?\gh cre$s & sy/ems may fail & pass away1 only to give place to o!rs equally unsatisfactory1 yet ^? div9e v]ities are e/abli%$ = ev]1 are beyond ! rea* ( e>?ly vicissitudes1 & "k no?+ ( "t or *ange4 ,utt]ly mis]able & sick at he>t1 ,m>y c>$ n :e!r %e liv$ or di$4 ,!re 0 no?+ to b9d h] to life1 & beyond ! life ( ?is _w %e 0 altoge!r )\t hope4 ,a m wret*$ exi/5ce x is sc>cely possible to imag9e4 ,:ile !y 7 /ill 9 ! ,settlem5ts1 %e treat$ ! o!r wives ) ! greate/ contempt1 sitt+ by !m at ! table or pass+ !m 9 ! h\se )\t v\*saf+ a look or a ^w4 ,h] husb&1 z might be expect$1 avoid$ h] :5ev] x 0 possible1 & ! o!r wives return$ h] coldness & disda91 & 9 turn annoy$ h] z mu* z !y c\ld :5 !y 7 n too busy look+ aft] "o ano!r4 ,x w\ld be impossible to picture a h\se m divid$ aga9/ itself ?an 0 t ( ,eld] ,%rewsbury4 ,:5 ! two wives1 ,ell5 & ,m>y1 liv$ toge!r ) _! husb& 9 ,salt ,lake ,city1 ,m>y ( c\rse _h no opportunity ( %[+ h] hatr$ & contempt = ! polygamic wives4 ,b t[>ds h] husb& %e ev9c$ a cold disda91 z if he 7 n[ no?+ at all to h]--z if h] v he>t itself _h be5 )]$4 ,= ,ell51 :o1 s9ce ,eld] ,%rewsbury _h tak5 8 o!r wives1 _h clung to h] ) a *ild-l affection1 & to h] own little girl alone1 %e %[$ t deep & con/ant love :i* %e _h once lavi%$ ^u su* an unwor?y object4 ,%e us$ to come to me & tell me all h] griefs2 & 9 a passion ( rage & te>s %e w\ld hurl defiance at ,mormonism & curse bitt]ly ! sy/em t _h wreck$ h] life4 ,!n ,i w\ld soo! h]1 & speak calmly to h]1 & try to place matt]s 9 _! be/ light2 & %e w\ld sit & li/5 9 a pa9ful /ate ( apa?y1 z if %e c>$ = none ( ^! ?+s4 ,pres5tly %e w\ld rise & g1 & !n1 p]haps1 ,i w\ld n see h] = weeks toge!r1 unless ,i *anc$ to call ^u h] at h] own h\se4 ,sometimes1 = days & ev5 weeks at a "t1 %e w\ld %ut h]self up 9 h] room & refuse to see h] husb& or any "o else1 except h] little girl1 :o slept 9 ! same room ) h]1 & :o at su* times us$ to br+ 9 :at food !y want$2 = 9 ^! melan*oly fits %e w\ld n ev5 let ! s]vants come ne> h]4 ,!re 0 a little table ne> ! w9d[1 & f ! casem5t ( ! w9d[ c\ld be se5 9 ! f> di/ance ! l(ty ranges ( ! ,wahsat* ,m\nta9s4 ,& sitt+ at t table1 gaz+ f t w9d[1 ) h] *eek re/+ ^u h] h&1 ,m>y w\ld wat* ! :ole day long1 z if entranc$ 9 "s ec/atic vision4 ,h] little girl--a *ild ( w9n+ ways1 ba%ful to an extreme & v pretty1 b1 ?\gh s "y1 ) a look ( wi/ful sadness ^u h] *ildi% face--_h become accu/om$ to h] "m's ways2 & :5 "o ( ^! long spells ( melan*oly came ^u h]1 %e w\ld ei!r /eal out quietly & w&] away = a long walk all by h]self--= %e nev] play$ ) ! o!r *ildr5 9 h] fa!r's h\se--or else1 z 0 m frequ5tly ! case1 %e w\ld sit d[n on ! gr\nd ne> h] "m & sil5tly amuse h]self ) a book or "s *ildi% toy4 ,to my m9d !re 0 some?+ inexpressibly pa9ful 9 all ?is4 ,:5 ,m>y did n come to see me1 ,i w\ld call r\nd at h] husb&'s h\se1 & try to draw h] out f h] melan*oly seclusion4 ,x 0 v seldom t ,i saw ,eld] ,%rewsbury1 & ,i _c say t ,i wi%$ to d s4 ,he _h1 z 8 wife told me1 und]gone a complete *ange s9ce ,i knew him 9 ,engl&4 ,! op5 look1 ! upright be>+1 ! e>ne/ness ( spee*1 :i* !n *>act]iz$ him1 7 n[ gone = ev]4 ,he 0 /ill a h&some man1 r portly1 & evid5tly well to d 9 ! _w2 b !re 7 l9es ab\t 8 eyes :i* ought n to h be5 se5 9 ! face ( a man ( 8 ye>s2 & 8 lips1 )\t utt]+ a ^w1 told _! own /ory4 ,he>tbrok5 & wret*$1 we>y ( life1 & yet ) no hopeful assurance ( life beyond ! grave1 poor ,m>y liv$ on ye> aft] ye>1 :ile ^? :o seem$ to dance 9 ! v sun%9e ( exi/5ce 7 cut (f l ! summ] fl[]s 9 ! h>ve/-field4 ,lately1 h[ev]1 ,i ?\ght ,i saw symptoms ( a *ange4 ,i notic$ t %e 0 p]ceptibly gr[+ ?9n] & ?9n]2 h] eye seem$ bright]1 & !re 0 always a flu% ^u h] *eek1 :i* w\ld h be5 beautiful _h x n be5 = ! seal ( melan*oly :i* 0 /amp$ ^u e feature4 ,b ! brightness ( ! eye1 & ! flu% ^u ! *eek1 7 n symbols ( heal?1 b ! impr9t ( ! f+] ( dea?4 ,%e did n "k ?is4 ,?\gh %e long$ to die1 %e little ?\ght t dea? 0 s ne> h]4 ,sometimes %e w\ld talk almo/ happily ( ! old by-gone days2 !n %e w\ld sit brood+ ov] h] griefs2 & !n aga9 %e w\ld talk anxi\sly ab\t ! future ( h] little daught]4 ,i _h se5 o!r wives z wret*$ z poor ,m>y 0--ay1 m s1 = !y _h abject1 gr9d+ pov]ty sup]add$ to all _! woes2 b1 m ?an = any o!r ,i felt = my poor fri5d1 & ex]t$ myself to ! utt]mo/ to com=t h]4 ,9 ?is ,i _h be5 to a c]ta9 ext5t successful4 ,%e w\ld appe> = a "t a little m *e]ful1 b x 0 n long be=e %e relaps$ into h] habitual melan*oly way4 ,t :i* tr\bl$ me mo/ ( late1 9 my int]c\rse ) ,m>y1 0 ! fact t %e 0 always talk+ ab\t dea?4 ,?is c]ta9ly 0 no matt] ( surprise to me1 b x 0 v pa9ful4 ,ov] & ov] aga9 %e w\ld discuss ! "q :e!r1 "u any circum/ances1 suicide c\ld be ju/ifi$1 & :e!r if any "o1 9 absolute despair1 7 to take away _! own life1 ,god w\ld ev] p>don !m4 ,i w\ld nev] ent] into su* subjects z ^!1 = ,i consid]$ t su* conv]sation %[$ a morbid condition ( m9d1 & c\ld n possibly be ( any good to ei!r ( u1 & w\ld only sugge/ h>mful ?\ghts4 ,b aga9 & aga9 ,m>y rev]t$ to ! subject1 & ,i really at la/ began to gr[ q anxi\s ab\t h]4 ,x 0 n1 !re=e1 ) surprise t ,i receiv$ ! summons t morn+4 ,i did n wait to ask any que/ions ab\t ! poison+1 b ha/5$ to ! b$side ( my un=tunate fri5d1 tru/+ t ,i might yet be 9 "t to r5d] "s assi/ance4 ,i f\nd h] ly+ on ! b$1 p>tly dress$1 &1 z x seem$ to me at fir/1 asleep4 ,!re 01 at ! b$side1 & b5d+ ov] h]1 ! second wife1 :o 0 9 z mu* tr\ble z if ! suff]] _h be5 h] own si/]4 ,! poor girl _h be5 weep+1 & 0 evid5tly v mu* di/ress$4 ,!re 0 also pres5t 9 ! room ano!r si/]1 :om ,i recogniz$ z a fri5d ( ,m>y's4 ,! little daught] ( ! un=tunate woman 0 !re z well4 ,"o p]son1 :om e "o w\ld naturally h expect$ to see at ! b$side ( a dy+ wife "u su* circum/ances1 0 conspicu\s by 8 abs5ce--,i mean1 ( c\rse1 ,eld] ,%rewsbury himself4 ,i sat d[n on ! b$1 beside poor ,m>y1 & took h] h& 9 m9e4 ,x 0 cold b damp1 & h] brea?+ 0 some:at heavy4 ,%e 0 /ill unconsci\s4 ,i ask$ ! pretty pale-fac$ girl--! second wife--:o 0 b5d+ ov] h]1 h[ x _h all happ5$1 & :e!r !y _h _h a doctor4 8,oh1 yes10 %e said1 sobb+ all ! "t2 8we s5t = ! doctor1 & he has only j gone4 ,he said he _h done all he c\ld1 & t we c\ld let h] sleep on n[40 ,%e !n told me :at _h tak5 place4 ,x appe>$ t ! night be=e ,eld] ,%rewsbury _h gone up into ,m>y's room to speak to h] ab\t "s matt] ( importance4 ,al?\gh liv+ 9 ! same h\se1 %e _h n se5 him = sev]al weeks1 & ! m]e fact ( be+ 9 8 pres5ce agitat$ h]4 ,he told h] he _h come to talk ab\t h] *ild--little ,m>y1 call$ ,m>y aft] h] "m4 ,= "s reason or o!r1 :i* nobody !n seem$ to und]/&1 ,eld] ,%rewsbury _h tak5 a fancy t ! *ild %\ld be sep>at$ f h] "m2 he want$ to s5d h] to /ay ) 8 o!r family 9 ! ,settlem5ts1 & x 0 = ?is purpose he came to see ,m>y t night4 ,x c]ta9ly did seem ! ref9em5t ( cruelty to sep>ate ! *ild f h] poor "m1 :o w\ld ?us h become1 z "o might say1 d\bly wid[$2 & ,i am /rongly incl9$ to "q :e!r ,eld] ,%rewsbury's motives 7 ( ! pure/ k9d4 ,x is1 h[ev]1 only j to /ate t subsequ5tly1 :5 speak+ to a fri5d ab\t ! matt]1 he said t he _h long notic$ 9 8 wife :at he consid]$ 7 incipi5t symptoms ( madness1 & he ?\ght t 8 duty t[>ds ! *ild imp]atively dem&$ t he %\ld imm$iately take h] away f h] "m4 ,he add$--z 0 inde$ true--t 8 o!r wives 9 ! ,s\? w\ld h tak5 ! greate/ c>e ( h]4 ,m>y 0 furi\s :5 ! proposal 0 made to h]4 ,%e bitt]ly upbraid$ h] husb& = all 8 cruelty & neglect2 %e curs$ him = 8 p]fidy1 & %e av[$ t no?+ b dea? %\ld sep>ate h] f h] little girl4 ,eld] ,%rewsbury trembl$ at ! ang] ( 8 poor =sak5 wife1 & he crept out ( h] room & d[n/airs4 ,b ,m>y c\ld n be appeas$4 ,%e w5t to ! room ( ! second wife--! only creature 9 ! h\se1 besides h] little girl1 ) :om %e sometimes condesc5d$ to hold int]c\rse--& !re %e act$ 9 a v wild & extravagant way4 ,x 0 ) great difficulty t %e 0 at la/ p]suad$ to lie d[n & take a little re/4 ,%e w\ld n g to h] own room2 s ,ell5--! second wife--p]suad$ h] to rema9 ) h] all ! night4 ,%e lay d[n1 b did n sleep4 ,%e mutt]$ /range ?+s1 & by-&-by sat up 9 ! b$ & spoke z if p 7 pres5t :om %e _h kn[n ye>s & ye>s ago4 ,ell5 0 fright5$2 b out ( love to ,m>y1 & n wi%+ t o!rs %\ld see h] 9 t crazy condition1 %e did n call = help1 ?9k+ t pres5tly %e w\ld fall asleep1 & 9 ! morn+ all w\ld be "r4 ,b ! long night pass$ away1 & j be=e daybreak ,ell5 fell into a sort ( fitful slumb]4 ,x w\ld seem t j !n poor ,m>y discov]$ = ! fir/ "t t %e 0 n sleep+ 9 h] own room1 & t h] little daught] 0 n ) h]4 ,di/ract$ z h] m9d 01 %e probably ?\ght t !y _h /ol5 ! *ild away1 & w5t 9 se>* ( h]4 ,%e f\nd h] way to h] own room1 & !n :at happ5$ no "o1 ( c\rse1 c\ld tell4 ,%e mu/ h se5 t h] *ild 0 safe2 & x is n unlikely t1 reassur$ on t po9t1 %e felt t %e ne$$ re/1 & ?\ght t x w\ld be be/ to take "s s$ative to produce ! sleep :i* %e believ$ w\ld re/ore h] to h]self aga94 ,%e _h 9 h] room a little lea!r m$ic9e-*e/--a v useful article = any "o travell+1 or to keep 9 ! h\se--& to t %e mu/ h _h resort4 ,c]ta9 x is1 t :51 an h\r lat]1 ,ell5 awoke & w5t to see :at _h become ( h] husb&'s fir/ wife1 %e f\nd ! little m$ic9e-*e/ op5 ^u ! bureau1 ,m>y ly+ ^u ! b$1 app>5tly asleep1 & a fa9t sickly smell1 :i* "o bett] v]s$ 9 su* ?+s w\ld h kn[n 0 ! smell ( opium1 p]vad+ ! :ole room4 ,ell5 began to scream & call = help1 & "o ( ! wom5 ab\t ! h\se1 :o 0 up at t e>ly h\r1 came to see :at 0 ! matt]4 ,%e1 ^u he>+ :at ,ell5 said1 ru%$ d[n/airs %riek+ = assi/ance4 ,=tunately = e "o1 ,eld] ,%rewsbury1 :o _h j ris51 0 /&+ 9 ! hall-way bel[4 ,he took hold ( ! noisy woman & ask$ h] :at 0 ! matt]2 & aft] he>+ all %e _h to say he s5t h] to att5d to h] dome/ic duties1 ) a /rict injunction to say no?+ to a liv+ s\l ab\t :at %e _h se5 or he>d4 ,eld] ,%rewsbury !n w5t up to ,m>y's room1 & !re he le>n$ t all t ! silly woman _h j said to him 0 q true4 ,he1 h[ev]1 betray$ no emotion4 ,v calmly he put ! /opp] back into ! laudanum bottle1 !n look$ at 8 wat* & hesitat$1 all ! :ile t pale-fac$ ,ell5 0 look+ anxi\sly at him1 want+ to "k :at %e c\ld d4 ,aft] a few mom5ts ( indecision1 ,eld] ,%rewsbury turn$ to ,ell5 & said1 8,yes2 g = ! doctor40 ,ell5 flew ^u h] mission4 ,mean:ile1 ,eld] ,%rewsbury look$ t[>ds ! b$ :]e poor ,m>y lay--,m>y1 = ^: love he _h p]jur$ 8 s\l--,m>y :o nev] w\ld h be5 8 _h he n giv5 t sacr$ promise1 ! break+ ( :i* made him an outlaw f heav5 & a ?+ to be despis$ ( m54 ,he look$ = "o s+le mom5t at 8 poor wife z %e lay !re1 & !n he turn$ ^u 8 heel & w5t out ( ! room4 ,= ! weal? ( all ! _w ,i w\ld n feel z t man felt1 if ! ?\ghts :i* !n cr[d$ ^u 8 bra9 7 :at1 = ! sake ( our common humanity1 ,i tru/ !y 74 ,! remembrance ( ! life :i* 8 folly or fanaticism--x matt]s little :i*--_h bla/$2 ! ?\ght ( t solemn v[ :i* he _h tak5 to love h] only & = ev]2 ! sight ( t de> "o to :om he _h once plight$ 8 tro?1 n[ desolate1 =sak51 almo/ maniac 9 h] wret*$ness4 ,oh ,god6 :at a curse 0 !re = any man's s\l to be>6 ,! physician1 :5 he came1 adm9i/]$ an emetic & made !m walk ! pati5t ab\t ! room4 ,ell5 & ! fri5d ( ,m>y :o 0 pres5t volunte]$ = ?is s]vice4 ,!y support$ h]1 "o on ea* side1 & pac$ h] r\nd & r\nd ! room1 ?us compell+ h] to ex]tion2 & f "t to "t !y made h] swall[ doses ( /rong c(fee1 9 :i* a little br&y _h be5 mix$4 ,:51 at l5g?1 signs ( return+ consci\sness 7 app>5t1 ! physician left1 promis+ to call aga9 9 ! c\rse ( ! morn+4 ,x 0 !n t "s "o pres5t ?\ght ( s5d+ = me1 & ,i arriv$ n long aft] ! physician _h gone4 ,i 0 ! only p]son1 outside ! family1 beside ! fri5d :om ,i h m5tion$1 :o knew ( any?+ t _h tak5 place--s c>eful 7 !y t ! matt] %\ld n get abroad2 & ,i %\ld c]ta9ly n h be5 summon$ _h x n be5 = ! close intimacy :i* exi/$ betwe5 ,m>y & myself1 :i* made u m l si/]s ?an fri5ds4 ,! read] mu/ n1 h[ev]1 suppose t 9 relat+ ?is ,i am ev5 n[ betray+ a tru/2 = my fri5ds 9 ,utah "k z well z ,i d t s _m unhappy wives h 9 _! desp]ation be5 driv5 to attempt self-de/ruction1 t hav+ no clue 9 ! "n1 :i* solely out ( love = my poor fri5d1 ,i h all ?r\gh ?is n>rative giv5 h]1 !y w n "k :o to fix ^u z ! p]son to :om ,i allude4#c ,!re is1 h[ev]1 "o /ill liv+--he w "k--let 8 own consci5ce be 8 accus]4 ,9 ab\t half an h\r's "t1 ,m>y began to recognize ^? :o 7 ar\nd h]1 b %e did n seem dispos$ to speak4 ,%e op5$ h] eyes & look$ dreamily at me = a long "t1 b ! slight pressure ( my h& 0 h] only recognition ( my pres5ce4 ,i b5t d[n ov] h] & :isp]$ a few assur+ words 9 h] e>1 & = a mom5t a fa9t1 we>y smile light$ up h] ?91 pale face4 ,x 0 n l ! sweet smiles ( ! by-gone days :i* us$ to suffuse h] :ole c\nt5ance ) sun%9e--x 0 b ! v gho/ ( a smile4 ,pres5tly %e sank into a g5tle slumb]2 b ,i /ill sat by h] on ! b$1 hold+ h] h& 9 m9e1 & ,i rema9$ !re = two or ?ree h\rs4 ,!n1 aft] see+ t ev]y?+ 0 at h& :i* %e c\ld possibly want if %e awoke1 & assur$ by ,ell5 t %e w\ld n leave h] until %e 0 able to sit up1 ,i left = my own home4 ,at ! bottom ( ! /airs1 9 ! hall-way1 ,i 0 confront$ by ,eld] ,%rewsbury himself4 ,?is surpris$ me1 z hi!rto he _h mo/ s$ul\sly avoid$ com+ 9 contact ) me4 ,he gave me "o se>*+ glance1 z if to read my ?\ghts1 & !n said3 8,si/] ,/5h\se1 ?is is a mo/ unhappy affair1 b say no?+ ab\t x--no good c come ( talk+ ( su* matt]s40 ,i assur$ him t = ,m>y's sake--n = 8--,i w\ld n speak ( :at _h transpir$2 b :5 he held out 8 h& = me to %ake1 ,i affect$ n to see x1 b wi%$ him good-morn+1 & left ! h\se4 99 99 99 99 99 ,= "s "t %e said no?+ to me ab\t ! sad ev5t :i* _h s greatly tr\bl$ u1 & :5 at l5g? %e hesitat+ly allud$ to x1 ,i 0 mu* reliev$ to f9d t ! tak+ ( ! deadly drug 0 on h] "p :olly accid5tal4 ,x 0 z ,i f ! fir/ suspect$--= ,i knew & lov$ my de> fri5d too well to wrong h] ev5 by a ?\ght4 ,cruelly z %e _h suff]$1 wret*$ & mis]able z %e 01 bitt]ly z %e felt1 ! in/9cts ( h] he>t 7 too true & h] nature too noble to all[ ( h] seek+ oblivion f h] tr\bles 9 volunt>y & prem$itat$ dea?1 z ,i h kn[n 0 ! case ) _m wret*$ ,mormon wives4 ,%e _h only ?\ght to take an opiate to soo! ! fev]i% excitem5t :i* _h almo/ b]eft h] ( reason1 &1 9 ! weak & enfeebl$ condition 9 :i* %e 01 ! draught _h be5 too p[]ful = h]4 ,guiltless z %e 01 %e dread$ t o!rs might impute wrong motives to h] 9 :at %e _h done2 & ev5 to me %e spoke ( h] sickness pa9fully & ) hesitation4 ,aft] ?is1 ,i call$ day aft] day ^u my poor fri5d1 until %e 0 suffici5tly recov]$ to walk ab\t & ev5 to get out ( doors a little4 ,! /ory ( ! unhappy attempt :i* %e 0 suppos$ to h made ^u h] life1 by "s means1 h[ev]1 got rum\r$ abroad1 & %e he>d ( x4 ,%e said no?+ at ! "t1 b ,i believe x prey$ ^u h] m9d4 ,weak & fail+ 9 heal?1 z %e long _h be51 ! %ock :i* h] sy/em _h receiv$ 0 too mu* = h]1 & x 0 evid5t to e "o :o saw h] t h] e>?ly trials w\ld soon be end$4 ,%e sank gradually1 & life ebb$ f h] g5tly & )\t pa94 ,a few days be=e %e di$1 %e s5t = me1 & ,i sp5t sev]al h\rs ) h]4 ,i might say t !y 7 happy h\rs2 = ! ne> prospect ( dea? seem$ to h dispell$ all ^? gloomy fe>s ( ! future life :i* _h = s _m ye>s tr\bl$ h] s\l2 & %e n[ look$ =w>d ) peaceful resignation to h] approa*+ *ange4 ,dea? came at la/ to h] :5 %e 0 sleep+1 & %e pass$ away tranquilly & )\t a sigh4 ,i almo/ rejoic$ :5 ,i he>d t at la/ h] we>y j\rney 0 ov]1 & %e 0 at re/4 ,i lov$ h] ) ! fonde/ affection1 & %all nev] ?9k ( h] )\t bitt] feel+s t[>ds t unholy sy/em :i* br\ght h] to an untimely grave4 ,,*apt] ,,xxxix4 ,,my ,,husb& ,,disfell[%ipp$--,,we ,,apo/atize--,,brutal ,,outrage ,,^u ,,my ,,husb& ,,& ,,myself4 ,not)/&+ all my own p]sonal tr\bles & ! difficulties :i* surr\nd$ u1 ! loss ( my de> fri5d affect$ me v deeply4 ,& yet h] /ory is ! same z might be told ( hundr$s ( o!r ,engli% girls :o h be5 lur$ f _! happy homes & h di$ brok5-he>t$ & neglect$ 9 ,utah4 ,n[ came t *ange 9 our life :i* ,i _h s long hop$ =1 b :i* _h always seem$ to me s v f> di/ant4 ,we _h be5 toss$ by _m a /orm1 b ! viol5ce ( ?is la/ gale 0 su* t x =c$ u clean out ( ! sea ( ,mormonism1 & l&$ u high & dry ^u ! firm gr\nd ( ,apo/asy4 ,ab\t ! "t :5 my husb& return$ ) 8 pap] to ,salt ,lake ,city1 ! ,utah ,magaz9e1 a lib]al j\rnal j /ruggl+ into exi/5ce1 began to call 9 "q "s ( ,brigham's measures2 & ! editors1 :o 7 all m5 ( "s m>k 9 ! ,mormon ,*ur*1 presum$ to h9t t ! p _h rights & privileges z well z ! ,prie/hood4 ,?is 0 done 9 a v quiet1 unobtrusive way2 b x 01 nev]!less1 pron\nc$ rebellion & apo/asy4 ,my husb&'s pap] 0 sil5t ^u ! subject2 &1 9 consequ5ce1 he 0 suspect$ ( be+ 9 league ) ! enemy4 ,?is 0 ano!r good reason :y ! p %\ld be 8c\nsell$0 n to take ! ,telegraph4 ,al?\gh he 0 n yet suffici5tly advanc$ 9 ?\ght to give mu* direct aid to ! que/ion]s ( ,brigham's au?ority1 ,i saw ) pleasure t he did n wi% to oppose !m2 ! tone ( 8 pap] 0 evid5tly *ang+1 & ! articles :i* appe>$ f "t to "t gave s]i\s (f5ce to ,brigham ,"y4 ,?is1 h[ev]1 0 n all 8 wrong-do+2 he _h ( late be5 neglectful 9 8 att5dance at ! 8,s*ool ( ! ,prophets0--a meet+ :i* 0 !n held e ,saturday = ! b5efit ( ! ,eld]s4 ,toge!r ) ! editors ( ! ,utah ,magaz9e1 ,mr4 ,/5h\se & "o or two o!rs 7 summon$ to appe> at ! ,s*ool1 to give _! reasons = previ\s non-att5dance4 ,?is !y _h all along anticipat$1 & 7 !re=e n surpris$ at ! summons1 b !y h>dly expect$ t ,brigham w\ld act s precipitately2 =1 )\t wait+ to he> _! reasons1 he disfell[%ipp$ !m all = irregul> att5dance4 ,brigham's assumption ( ! "r to disfell[%ip m5 f ! ,*ur* because ( irregul> att5dance at ! ,s*ool 0 a /ret* ( au?ority :i* />tl$ my husb&3 8,:at w he n d next80 he said4 8,to submit w\ld be to ackn[l$ge him absolute1 & myself a slave4 ,!re is b "o alt]native n[--slav]y or fre$om4 ,co/ me :at x may1 ,i w be free60 ,9 ,augu/ ( ! same ye> my husb& s5t a respectful & k9dly lett] to ! ,bi%op ( our w>d1 /at+ t he _h no fai? 9 ,brigham's claim to an 8,infallible ,prie/hood10 & t he consid]$ t he ought to be cut (f f ! ,*ur*4 ,i add$ a po/script1 /at+ t ,i wi%$ to %>e my husb&'s fate--little ?9k+ t )9 ?ree days my reque/ w\ld be answ]$ 9 a too lit]al mann]4 ,a little aft] t5 o'clock on ! ,saturday night succe$+ our )drawal f ! ,*ur*1 we 7 return+ home toge!r4 ,! night 0 v d>k1 & z our resid5ce 0 9 ! suburbs ( ! ,city1 nor? ( ! ,temple block1 & ! road v quiet1 ! walk 0 a v lonely "o & p]haps n altoge!r too safe4 ,we _h gone ab\t a ?ird ( ! way1 :5 we sudd5ly saw f\r m5 come out f "u "s trees at a little di/ance f u4 ,9 ! gloom ( ! night we c\ld only see !m v indi/9ctly1 & c\ld n di/+ui% :o !y 74 ,!y sep>at$2 & two ( !m came =w>d & /umbl$ up aga9/ u1 & two pass$ on beside u4 ,= a mom5t ,i ?\ght t !y 7 intoxicat$1 b x 0 soon cle> t !y 7 act+ f design4 ,z soon z !y approa*$1 !y seiz$ hold ( my husb&'s arms1 "o on ea* side1 & held him firmly1 ?us r5d]+ him almo/ p[]less4 ,!y 7 all mask$1 = x 0 suppos$ t ?us we %\ld n be able to discov] _! id5tity1 & t if by any *ance an inve/igation %\ld subsequ5tly be made into ! do+s ( t night x w\ld n be possible = any "o to witness aga9/ !m4 ,! movem5ts ( ! two m5 :o held my husb& 7 some:at imp$$ by my cl++ to 8 arm1 & !y seem$ to hesitate = a mom5t4 ,! o!r two1 :o /ood a few feet di/ant f u1 also hesitat$4 ,"o ( ! m5 :o held my husb& said to !m1 8,bre?r51 d y\r duty40 ,we recogniz$ 8 voice at once z t ( a policeman1 ,philips1 a "y man :om we _h kn[n 9 ,s\?ampton1 ,engl&1 :5 a *ild4 ,9 an in/ant ,i saw !m raise _! arms1 z if tak+ aim1 & = "o brief second ,i ?\ght t our end _h n[ surely come1 & t we1 l s _m obnoxi\s p]sons be=e u1 7 ab\t to be murd]$ = ! great s9 ( ,apo/asy4 ,?is1 ,i firmly believe1 w\ld h be5 my husb&'s fate1 if ,i _h n *anc$ to be ) him1 or _h ,i run away--!y w\ld probably h beat5 him to dea?--!y 7 two ( ! regul> & two ( ! special policem5--& !n1 ! next morn+1 !y w\ld h 8discov]$0 ! body1 & x w\ld h be5 said t he _h be5 murd]$ by ! ,g5tiles or ,apo/ates 9 a p]sonal qu>rel4 ,my pres5ce some:at dis>rang$ _! plans1 & x 0 t probably :i* caus$ ! two m5 to hesitate1 n kn[+ :at w\ld be consid]$ _! 8duty0 "u pres5t circum/ances4 ,a mu* less noble fate ?an assass9ation 0 res]v$ = u4 ,! wret*es1 al?\gh o!rwise well arm$1 7 n hold+ revolv]s 9 _! h&s z ,i fir/ suppos$4 ,!y 7 furni%$ ) huge g>d5-syr+es *>g$ ) ! mo/ disgu/+ fil?1 9 ! prep>ation ( :i* !y took especial pa9s4 ,s k9dr$ to _! own base natures 0 su* an act1 t ,i d\bt n !y f\nd x q a lab\r ( love4 ,! mom5t ! syr+es 7 po9t$ at u1 my husb&1 ?9k+ a %ot 0 com+1 mov$ 8 head1 & ?us to a c]ta9 ext5t escap$ ! full =ce ( ! dis*>ge4 ,i1 h[ev]1 0 n s =tunate4 ,my hair1 bonnet1 face1 clo!s1 p]son--e in* ( my body1 e %r$ t ,i wore--7 9 an in/ant saturat$1 f head to foot4 ,! villa9s1 :5 !y _h p]petrat$ ?is disgu/+ & brutal outrage1 turn$ & fl$4 ,we ran aft] !m = "s little di/ance1 b we _h no arms & no?+ ) :i* to def5d ourselves2 9 fact1 we pursu$ !m in/9ctively r ?an ) any idea ( ov]tak+ !m4 ,!re 0 ano!r man /&+ a little di/ance (f 9 ! direction 9 :i* !y 7 runn+1 & we c\ld n tell h[ _m might be conceal$4 ,! place1 too1 0 d>k & lonely1 = !y _h gone beh9d ! ,temple block--a fit corn] = murd]]s to skulk 92 a conv5i5t spot = ! commission ( any unholy de$4 ,i 0 burn+ ) indignation1 & long$ to rev5ge myself ^u ! brutal c[>ds :o _h assault$ u4 ,9 my ang] ,i call$ ^u !m to come & kill u outright1 = ,i w\ld h pref]r$ dea? to su* an indignity4 ,i almo/ wond] t !y did n take me at my ^w & return & f9i% _! f\l "w1 = !y h long act$ ^u ! pr9ciple t 8dead m5 tell no tales40 ,i %all nev] =get t night4 ,i decl>$ t h5ce=? ,i w\ld te> f my he>t e association1 e memory1 e affection1 :i* /ill rema9$ to b9d me to ,mormonism2 n "o solit>y l9k %\ld be left4 ,h5ce=? ,i w\ld be ! decl>$ & op5 enemy ( ! ,prie/hood4 ,to ! utmo/ ( my p[]--weak ?\gh ,i might be--,i w\ld ar\se ! wom5 ( ,utah to a s5se ( ! wrongs :i* !y endur$2 ,i w\ld proclaim to ! _w ! disgrace :i* ,mormonism is to ! great ,am]ican nation1 ! f\l blot t x is ^u ,*ri/ianity & ! civilization ( ! age6 ,my son-9-law1 ,joseph ,a4 ,"y1 on ! night ( ! attack1 (f]$ a rew>d to ! *ief ( ! police = ! appreh5sion ( ! ruffians2 b we knew well en\gh !y w\ld nev] be discov]$4 ,a few ,g5tile fri5ds also (f]$ a rew>d ( five hundr$ doll>s = any evid5ce t might lead to _! id5tification2 b no?+1 ( c\rse1 0 elicit$4 ,,*apt] ,,xl4 ,,amus+ ,,tr\bles ,,( ,,my ,,talkative ,,fri5d--,,*>lotte ,,) ,,! ,,gold5 ,,hair6 ,n long aft] our sep>ation f ! ,mormon ,*ur*1 ,i receiv$ ano!r visit f my talkative fri5d4 ,z1 accord+ to h] cu/om1 %e 0 mak+ a prelim9>y 8fuss0 at ! door be=e ent]+1 ,i he>d h] voice1 & 0 at a loss to conjecture :e!r %e came = ! purpose ( lam5t+ my apo/asy & entreat+ my imm$iate return to ! bosom ( ! ,*ur*1 or to condole ) me conc]n+ ! brutal outrage to :i* we _h be5 subject$4 ,9 bo? suppositions ,i 01 h[ev]1 mi/ak5--%e came to talk ab\t h] own woes4 8,y'll be surpris$1 my de> ,si/] ,/5h\se10 %e said1 8to see me look+ s utt]ly mis]able4 ,i'm sure ,i mu/ look ! picture ( despair1 & ,i feel x4 ,y don't "k :at ,i've be5 suff]+1 & h[ %amefully ,i h be5 us$40 8,y look v well ,i ?9k1 b ,i'm sorry to he> y h met ) any difficulty10 said ,i1 :5 %e /opp$ = a mom5t to take brea?4 8,oh1 y may say s10 %e repli$1 8b y "k y don't ?9k s 9 y\r he>t4 ,:y1 ,i did n ev5 /op to put on my bonnet /raight10 %e said1 /eal+ a look at ! glass1 8& ,i ran all ! way "h1 = ,i felt z if ,i %\ld die if ,i c\ld n p\r my sorr[s into ! bosom ( "s fai?ful-he>t$ fri5d4 ,oh1 ,i h be5 treat$ %amefully1 & ,i feel x ! m z y "k :at a res]v$ woman ,i am1 & h[ seldom x is t ,i op5 my lips ab\t family matt]s1 ev5 to my de>e/ fri5ds60 8,well1 b10 ,i said1 8:at really is ! matt]8 ,y h n yet told me :at y\r tr\ble is40 8,si/] ,/5h\se10 %e said1 8y h _h a few little vexations 9 ! c\rse ( y\r life1 ,i "k1 b !y are no?+ to comp>e to ! frightful indignities t ,i h suff]$ 9 ! c\rse ( ! la/ few days4 ,i nev] ?\ght ,i %\ld come to ?is6 ,i hate e man 9 ! place1 & ,i dete/ my husb& mo/ ( all1 & ,i loa! 8 wives1 & ,i execrate ,bro!r ,brig--0 8,:y1 ,si/] ,ann1 :at c h happ5$80 ,i exclaim$1 int]rupt+ h]4 8,happ5$60 %e cri$1 />t+ f h] *air 9 indignation1 8,i tell y1 ,si/] ,/5h\se1 no?+ has #8happ5$'--no?+ 0 done by *ance--he did x all ) 8 eyes op5 & aga9/ my advice--,i tell y he did x on purpose60 8,did :at80 ,i ask$1 8& :o 0 x t did x80 ,b by ?is "t ,i _h begun to =m a %rewd guess :o ! culprit 04 8,:y1 he m>ri$ t wret*$ little %rimp ( a girl1 ) blue eyes & r$ hair1 & a die-away1 lackadaisical mann]--x 0 he--my husb& ,h5ry--he m>ri$ h] ?is v day1 & ,i tell y he did x on purpose60 8,i'm sorry t x annoys y10 ,i said2 8b really ,i am surpris$1 aft] all y h said to me1 t y %\ld n c>e if he _h tak5 half-a-doz5 wives1 to say no?+ ( ! "o he m>ri$ ?is morn+1 & :o y say is only a v little "o40 8,x doesn't matt] ! size1 ,si/] ,/5h\se10 %e said1 8b ! col\r ( ! eyes & ! %ade ( ! hair matt]s a great deal4 ,if t mis]able little m9x _h _h black hair or gre5 eyes1 ,i d>esay ,h5ry w\ld n h c>$ two /raws ab\t h]1 unless he _h done x out ( %e] p]v]sity1 = all m5 are made ( ! same contr>y /uff4 ,b he dotes on blue eyes2 ,i he>d him myself tell h] s "o day1 :5 ,i 0 li/5+ to !m ?r\gh ! crack ( ! door1 & !y didn't "k ,i 0 s ne>4 ,b my w\nd$ feel+s w\ld n suff] me to rema9 sil5t1 & ,i b\nc$ 91 &1 said ,i1 #8,h5ry1 h[ d>e y talk su* outrage\s nons5se to t *ild 9 my pres5ce8' 8#8,b ,i didn't "k y 7 pres5t1' he said4 8#8,i tell y1' said ,i1 #8,i'm q disgu/$ ) y2 a man ) ?ree wives--& me "o ( !m--to g talk+ twaddle to a little *att]+ hussy l t1 ) h] cat's eyes & h] r$ hair6' 8#8,gold5 hair1 my de>1' he said1 #8,*>lotte's hair is gold54' 8#8,i say r$6--x's /raight1 />+ r$--z r$ z r$ c be1' ,i told him2 & !n we _h a regul> fight ov] x4 ,i don't mean t we came to bl[s1 b we _h "s hot words1 & he w5t out & left u two alone4 ,!n t "y hussy 0 impud5t1 & ,i don't "k h[ x 01 b someh[1 :5 we left (f our conv]sation1 ,i f\nd "s ( ,*>lotte's r$ hair betwe5 my f+]s2 & !re0--%e said1 innoc5tly1 hold+ out q a respectable siz$ tuft ( auburn hair--8!re2 ,i put x to y1 ,si/] ,/5h\se1 is t r$1 or is x n80 ,i 0 ab\t to reply2 b1 )\t wait+ an in/ant1 %e da%$ ! /ol5 locks to ! gr\nd1 & said1 8,i d>esay1 ,si/] ,/5h\se1 y ?9k me a little ha/y1 & yet among my fri5ds ,i've always be5 q prov]bial = ! calmness & ev5ness ( my temp]2 b ,i've be5 tri$ v mu* lately1 &--if only y w\ld n keep int]rupt+ me1 de>6--if y'd j all[ me to say a ^w or two 9 my turn6--,i'd tell y some?+ t w\ld op5 y\r eyes to ! +ratitude & wick$ness ( m54 ,i don't wond] t y h left ! ,*ur*2 ,i am ?9k+ ( do+ s myself1 & y won't wond] at x :5 y he> :at ,i've got to say4 ,:at d y say to my leav+ ! ,*ur*8 ,won't p be a/oni%$8 ,b ,i decl>e1 ,si/] ,/5h\se1 ,i d s]i\sly mean to leave ! ,*ur* z soon z ,i get my new bonnet--0 8,:y y\r new bonnet80 ,i ask$ 9 surprise4 8,because1 de>1 ,i %all become an object ( int]e/4 ,all ! si/]s w h _! eyes ^u me1 & ev5 ,g5tiles w say1 #8,!re's a lady :o _h c\rage to leave ! ,mormon ,*ur* & quit an ungrateful husb& :o 0 n wor?y ( h]4' ,& y "k1 ,si/] ,/5h\se1 x w\ld n d to h p look+ at me & talk+ ab\t me be=e ,i got my new bonnet40 ,?is 0 a r amus+ reason = delay 9 *ang+ "o's religion1 b x 0 q *>act]i/ic ( my fri5d4 ,s ,i hum\r$ h] a little1 & tri$ to get h] to expla9 h[ x all came ab\t4 8,oh1 yes10 %e said1 8,i ought to h told y t be=e1 b ,i 0 to angry at :at _h j happ5$ t ,i =got ev]y?+ else4 ,! fact is1 my husb& is a man1 & !re's no calculat+ :at a man w d4 ,wom51 y "k1 are prov]bial = ! con/ancy ( _! affections & _! sl[ness 9 *ang+ _! m9ds--y "k :5 y're talk+ to a woman t %e is a woman1 & y "k exactly :at to d ) h]2 b ) a man x's q diff]5t4 ,y c't calculate a man--y c't fa?om him4 ,:5 y've be5 ?9k+ "o way & ano!r1 & at la/ beg9 to fancy y "k :at to d1 :y !n1 a man--if x's him y've got to d )--w turn j r\nd1 & :ile y've be5 mak+ ev]y?+ smoo? = him to d "o ?+1 he'll g & d exactly ! opposite4 ,i "k :at m5 are by ?is "t1 & ,i speak f exp]i5ce4 8,x 0 j s ) ,h5ry & ?is girl4 ,he has gone q aga9/ ! gra9 ) me1 & ,i feel x all ! m because he us$ to be s quiet & anxi\s to d exactly :at ,i want$4 ,b he doesn't c>e a fig n[ :e!r ,i'm pleas$ or n--he only ?9ks ab\t ?is r$-head$ girl4 ,9 fact1 he's q crazy ab\t h]1 & if !re's any s9 9 apo/asy1 y may rememb] t x 0 he :o drove me into x40 8,t seems h>dly fair10 ,i said1 8= y knew all along t x 0 8 privilege to take m wives40 8,t's v true10 %e exclaim$2 8x is 8 privilege to take wives1 b x's my privilege to *oose !m = him4 ,i'm a good ,mormon1 & ,i don't m9d h[ _m wives my husb& takes1 if he'll only act reasonably ab\t gett+ !m4 ,b1 ,si/] ,/5h\se1 ,i d n want a p>cel ( girls ab\t ! h\se4 ,i'm s f> f wi%+ to usurp au?ority1 t1 z ,i told ,h5ry1 ,i w\ld n m9d if 8 wives 7 ev5 a little old] ?an me1 b ,i won't h !m y\ng]4 ,x makes ,h5ry look s silly4 ,:y1 to see him ) t girl ,*>lotte1 n[1 :o isn't m ?an half my own age--no2 ,i don't mean t1 ,i mean %e's slightly y\ng] ?an ,i am--y might really almo/ imag9e t he ?\ght m ( h] ?an he does ( me4 ,i "k he doesn't1 = he has told me s2 b any "o to see !m toge!r w\ld get q a wrong impression40 8,:5 did he m>ry ,*>lotte80 ,i ask$4 8,y spoke s ha/ily1 ,si/] ,ann1 t ,i did n q und]/& y40 8,:58 ,:y he m>ri$ h] ?is morn+1 z ,i ?\ght ,i told y2 he has only j done x4 ,he said he 0 anxi\s to be 9 a quiet /ate ( m9d to-day1 s ,i gave him a piece ( my m9d1 & he 0 s a/oni%$ at ! po9t$ way 9 :i* ,i expla9$ to him :at a fool he'd be5 mak+ ( himself t he q %[$ x 9 8 face4 ,! fact is1 ,si/] ,/5h\se1 he has lately become r m ?an ,i c\ld manage40 8,well1 ,si/]10 ,i said1 8,i %\ld h ?\ght t 8 f9d+ a wife = himself w\ld h sav$ y a _w ( tr\ble40 8,oh de> no1 ,si/] ,/5h\se10 %e repli$2 8x 0 tr\ble ,i did n want to be sav$4 ,m5 h no bus9ess1 9 my op9ion1 to *oose _! own wives1 aft] ! fir/4 ,i "k ! m5 d d x1 "o & all2 b x's a %ameful /ret* ( au?ority4 ,i %\ld l to "k :e!r x is n ( mu* m consequ5ce to me :at wife my husb& has ?an x is to him8 ,h[ev]1 ,i resolv$ t my husb& %\ld nev] m>ry ! r$-head$ girl1 & ,i told him s2 & :at d y ?9k ! inhuman creature said8 #8,y've be5 p]suad+ me all ^! ye>s1' he said1 #8to take ano!r wife1 al?\gh ,i've already got ?ree1 & n[ ,i've begun to d s y blame me4 ,i ?9k ,i've z good a "r z any "o to say :o ,i'll m>ry & :o ,i won't4' ,did y ev] he> ( su* +ratitude8 ,w\ld y he> ( su* a ?+ f y\r husb&1 ,si/] ,/5h\se80 ,i told h] t ) ,mormonism my husb& _h giv5 up ,polygamy1 & %e cont9u$3 8,well1 ,i tri$ to br+ him to reason1 b x 0 ( no use4 ,& !n ,i told him t ! girl %\ld nev] set foot inside ! h\se :ile ,i 0 9 x4 ,?is 0 a v un=tunate spee*1 = ,i d believe t up to t "t he want$ z mu* z possible to keep ! girl out ( my way2 b ! mom5t ,i said t1 to %[ 8 dignity1 ,i suppose1 he decl>$ t %e %\ld come to tea ) u t v aft]noon1 & he w\ld g & fet* h]2 & he did s4 ,i w\ldn't g d[n to tea at fir/1 ?\gh bo? ! o!r wives 7 !re & he s5t up = me1 b my pride w\ld n all[ me to /oop4 ,at la/ ,i got tir$ ( be+ all alone1 & z x occurr$ to me t p]haps !y might be enjoy+ !mselves )\t me1 ,i resolv$ to g d[n & see if ,i c\ld n d some?+ to annoy !m4 ,d[n ,i w5t1 & ,h5ry1 all smil+1 introduc$ ! girl to me z #8,si/] ,*>lotte1' talk+ ( h] z if he _h kn[n h] = ye>s4 ,0 x n %ameful80 8,x mu/ h be5 v awkw>d = y10 ,i said4 8,x 0 inde$1 ,si/] ,/5h\se1 & ,i soon made x awkw>d = !m4 ,i assure y1 aft] ,i jo9$ !m1 !re 0 n a s\l pres5t :o _h a mom5t's com=t till t girl w5t away4 ,my husb&1 h[ev]1 took h] home1 & f t v day he seem$ resolv$ to h ! upp] h&4 ,he nev] = a mom5t w\ld li/5 to a ^w ,i said ab\t ! girl2 he br\ght h] 9 e ev5+ & took h] to ! !atre con/antly1 & paid h] t5 times m att5tion ?an he ev] paid me4 ,i wasn't jeal\s1 ,si/] ,/5h\se2 no "o--z ,i said be=e--c\ld ev] suspect me ( jeal\sy1 b ,i did hate t girl4 ,if he _h n lov$ h]1 ,i c't say :e!r ,i myself might n h lik$ h]4 ,b ! v fact ( him lov+ h] makes me dete/ h]2 b x's only a little prop] pride on my "p--,i'm n 9 ! lea/ jeal\s1 oh de> no60 8,( c\rse n10 ,i said4 8,i don't "k ab\t t10 %e said1 8,i've borne en\gh f ^? two to drive fifty wom5 crazy ) jeal\sy1 & ?+s w5t on f bad to worse1 until ! o!r day :51 z ,i told y1 we _h t little unpleasantness4 ,my husb&1 :5 he came back1 0 d[nright angry1 & made use ( %ock+ language1 & told me t1 if he c\ld n h peace 9 ! h\se1 he w\ld h me bo>d out by myself 9 "s o!r "p ( ! city4 ,he said t ,i _h scrat*$ ,*>lotte's face & torn out h] hair2 b t 0 q untrue1 z ,i told him2 & z = ! hair :i* fell out1 x 0 all an accid5t4 ,he said t ,*>lotte did n l su* accid5ts1 & t he w\ld n put up ) x4 ,he 0 v cross & disagreeable all ! re/ ( ! day1 & made me q mis]able & brok5-he>t$2 & ! next day1 to w9d x all up1 he told me t he & ,*>lotte _h arrang$ ! day ( ! w$d+4 ,i 0 =c$ to g ov] ) him to ! ,end[m5t ,h\se1 to give him t dete/able little vix54 ,i tell y1 ,si/] ,/5h\se1 ,i hate h]2 & oh1 oh de>1 :at %all ,i d n[ my husb& has fall5 9 love ) h]60 ,"h1 to my inf9ite a/oni%m5t1 %e rose f h] seat & ru%$ ab\t ! room1 wr++ h] h&s & exclaim+1 8,oh de>6 oh de>60 ,%e !n ?rew h]self "r d[n on ! c\* & actually bur/ into te>s1 cry+ out1 8,oh de>1 :at %all ,i d ) my ,h5ry & t girl60 ,aft] t ,i did n see h] = sev]al weeks1 & !n ,i accid5tally met h] 9 ! /reet1 & ask$ h] :y %e _h n call$ ^u me lately4 8,oh1 ,si/] ,/5h\se10 %e said1 8,i'm delight$ to see y6 ,y've be5 con/antly 9 my ?\ghts1 b ,i've be5 s h>d at "w--oh1 s busy1 t ,i really _h n "t = any?+--n ev5 to apo/atize4 ,!n1 too1 y see ,i've _h my h&s full4 ,if y want to make a man slight "o woman & get tir$ ( h]1 !re's no?+ l putt+ a nic] woman ?an h] 9 8 way4 ,s ,i reconsid]$ ! matt] & resolv$1 co/ :at x might1 ,i'd get ano!r wife = my husb& "r away4 ,i don't c>e n[ :e!r %e's old or "y1 ugly or pretty1 s long z %e cuts out t dete/able r$-head$ girl4 ,i've run all ov] ! t[n & ru%$ ab\t "h & !re1 all = 8 sake1 ?\gh he'll nev] be grateful = x2 & n[ at la/1 d y "k1 de>1 ,i really d ?9k ,i've got ! girl ,i want4 ,%e's all d>k--d>k hair1 d>k eyes1 d>k complexion4 ,if he m>ries h]1 z ,i mean him to d1 %e'll lead him a f9e life1 not)/&+ all h] w9n+ ways4 ,i w\ldn't /& 9 8 %oes :5 %e's 8 wife2 b ,i "k ,i %all be able to manage h]1 = ,i h a deep] insight into "* ?an he has1 & a bett] comm& ( temp]4 ,%e'll tea* ,miss ,*>lotte to keep h] place1 & %e'll make ,h5ry m9d too4 ,x'll d him good2 ,i've done x all out ( love to him1 n a sp>k ( jeal\sy or ill-feel+1 z y are well aw>e40 ,! idea ( sett+ "o wife aga9/ ano!r1 9 ord] to keep ! peace1 w\ld appe> 9 ! case ( my talkative fri5d to h be5 successful2 =1 sure en\gh1 six mon?s aft] ! "t ( :i* ,i h j spok51 h] ,h5ry did m>ry ! d>k beauty1 & %e & h] auburn pr$ecessor pres5t$ an int]e/+ contra/ :5 !y *anc$ to appe> 9 ! /reet toge!r 9 ! company ( _! husb&4 ,!re did n seem to be mu* love lo/ betwe5 !m4 ,successful 9 h] plans1 & hav+1 z %e said1 n[ br\ght h] ,h5ry to reason1 my talkative fri5d gave up all idea ( leav+ ! ,*ur*1 & :5 ,i la/ saw h] %e said1 8,i'm busy n[ look+ aft] a likely girl1 = ,i d ?9k a man 9 my ,h5ry's position ought to live 8 religion & h at lea/ sev5 wives6--sev51 y "k1 is su* a v lucky numb]40 ,,*apt] ,,xli4 ,,aft] ,,we ,,left ,,! ,,*ur*--,,int]e/+ ,,facts ,,& ,,figures--,,! ,,mormonism ,,& ,,mormons ,,( ,,to-,,day4 8,! _w 0 all be=e !m :]e to *oose ,_! place ( re/3 ) ,provid5ce _! guide1 ,!y h& 9 h&1 ) trembl+ /eps & sl[1 ,?r\gh ,ed5 took _! solit>y way40 ,p>adise ,lo/4 ,:5 we left ! ,mormon ,*ur*1 we 7 n q z badly (f z 7 our fir/ p>5ts :5 !y began life1 al?\gh 9 "s respects we c]ta9ly resembl$ !m4 ,! _w 0 all be=e u1 & x 0 necess>y t we also %\ld *oose a place ( re/2 b x 0 by no means an ,ed5 f :i* we 7 dismiss$--or1 r1 _h dismiss$ ourselves--& 9 ! matt] ( exp]i5ce 9 ! ?orny ways ( t _w 9 :i* we 7 ab\t to beg9 afre% ! battle ( exi/5ce1 we c]ta9ly _h ! advantage ov] ! exiles f ,p>adise4 ,! crisis ( our own lives _h n[ arriv$4 ,! act ( s5d+ 9 our resignation z memb]s ( ! ,*ur* cut u (f f all ! associations ( ! pa/ & all ! fri5d%ips & pleasant intimacies ( s _m ye>s4 ,a great gulf divid$ our by-gone life f ! unkn[n future :i* lay be=e u4 ,my husb& 0 n[ made pa9fully aw>e t x 0 altoge!r useless = him to attempt to c>ry on 8 pap]2 = 8 subscrib]s1 z ,i be=e /at$1 _h be5 8c\nsell$0 to discont9ue tak+ x 94 ,! ,daily ,telegraph _h _h a v l>ge circulation1 b z !re 0 v little money 9 ! ,t]ritory1 ! ye>ly subscriptions 7 mo/ly paid at h>ve/ "t1 & _m ( !m 9 gra94 ,at ! "t1 !re=e1 :5 ! pap] 0 f9ally giv5 up1 ! ,mormon p1 z ! book-keep] 9 ,ogd5 in=m$ me1 ow$ ab\t tw5ty ?\s& doll>s2 b :5 x 0 discov]$ t we 7 8,apo/ates10 ! majority ( !m consid]$ t !y 7 releas$ f all obligations on t score1 & my husb& be+ an easy1 g5]\s-m9d$ man1 mo/ ( !m evad$ paym5t4 ,! idea t1 because we _h left ! ,*ur*1 no ,sa9t 0 b\nd to pay u any debts :i* !y might happ5 at ! "t to owe1 0 ! natural result ( ! tea*+s ( ! ,tab]nacle4 ,apo/ates are deliv]$ ov] to 8! buffet+s ( ,satan10 & ! ,sa9ts consid] x is _! duty to beg9 9 ?is _w _! ma/]'s "w ( ca/igation4 ,any ill turn t c be done to an ,apo/ate is consequ5tly a good action 9 ! op9ion ( ! ,mormons1 & !y neglect no opportunity ( %[+ t ^! are ! s5tim5ts :i* influ5ce !m4 ,al?\gh we _h n[ left ! ,mormon ,*ur*1 nev] to return1 my husb& c\ld n at once %ake (f entirely t influ5ce :i* _h s long held him captive4 ,8 ?\ghts & belief1 8 hopes & ambitions1 _h = a qu>t] ( a c5tury all po9t$ 9 "o direction1 & ! v idea ( rebellion on 8 "p aga9/ ! au?ority ( ! ,prie/hood1 w\ld1 b a v little :ile be=e ! "t ( :i* ,i speak1 h be5 consid]$ by him an utt] impossibility4 ,x 0 impossible1 9 a few %ort mon?s only1 to undo ! "w ( five-&-tw5ty ye>s--! be/ ye>s ( 8 life4 ,he c\ld no long] rema9 9 ! ,*ur* or consci5ti\sly support ,brigham ,"y2 b he _h n outgr[n ,mormonism suffici5tly to enable him to ?r[ (f ! yoke entirely & make 8 pap] an oppon5t ( ,brigham & 8 fai?4 ,c\ld he h done s1 ,i ?9k x is highly probable t ! ,telegraph might yet h be5 sav$1 = ,i "k t _m ( ! m influ5tial ( ! ,g5tiles w\ld h aid$ him mat]ially 9 su* a c\rse4 ,z x 01 no?+ rema9$ b to give x up ) ! be/ grace he c\ld4 ,two (f]s 9 ref]5ce to ! pap] 7 receiv$ by ,mr4 ,/5h\se1 & x rema9$ = him to decide :i* he w\ld accept4 ,"o ( !m came f a ,g5tile1 :o propos$ to run x 9 opposition to ,brigham ,"y1 & ! o!r came f a c]ta9 ,mr4 ,full]1 :o _h = "s "t be5 my husb&'s travell+ ag5t1 & 0 a v intimate fri5d ( ,john ,w4 ,"y1 ,brigham's y\nge/ son by 8 fir/ wife4 ,we knew t ?is ,mr4 ,full] _h no?+ beyond 8 sal>y2 b1 z ! fri5d ( ,brigham's son1 we ?\ght t probably x 0 ! ,prophet's wi% t he %\ld h ?is pap]1 & we believ$ t he 0 simply buy+ x = ! ,*ur*4 ,my husb& argu$ t1 al?\gh he c\ld no long] unite ) ! ,mormons1 he c\ld at lea/ refra9 f do+ !m any injury2 he !re=e conclud$ t1 r ?an let ! pap] g into ! h&s ( an av[$ enemy1 he w\ld sell x to ,mr4 ,full]1 :o1 on acc\nt ( 8 fri5d%ip = ! ,prophet's family1 w\ld1 he presum$1 try to be j to ! p4 ,?is1 no d\bt1 0 v consci5ti\s & j1 al?\gh1 ( c\rse1 no ,mormon w\ld give my husb& cr$it = ent]ta9+ su* s5tim5ts4 ,= my own "p1 ,i naturally wi%$ him to accept ! (f] t w\ld pay him be/1 :i* 0 t made by ! ,g5tile4 ,he c\ld n1 h[ev]1 br+ 8 m9d to d ?is4 ,! pap]1 !re=e1 0 sold to ,mr4 ,full]1 :o ran x = a few mon?s & !n himself ran away1 leav+ beh9d him debts en\gh to swall[ up ev]y?+4 ,?us end$ ! ,telegraph "u t "n1 b de/9$1 h[ev]1 to rise aga9 z ! ,salt ,lake ,h]ald--a pap] devot$ to ! int]e/s ( ,brigham & ! ,prie/hood4 ,to my husb& x 0 an utt] loss1 b x 0 h>dly fair t 8 consci5ti\s conduct %\ld meet ) su* an ill return4 ,x 0 n[ necess>y t "s /eps %\ld be tak5 to provide = our family4 ,! read] may1 p]haps1 rememb] t :5 we fir/ arriv$ 9 ,salt ,lake ,city1 z ,i /at$1 ,i myself engag$ 9 bus9ess until my husb& 0 able to f9d "s suitable & pr(itable employm5t4 ,:5 ! ,telegraph1 h[ev]1 0 e/abli%$ & prov$ su* a great success1 & we 7 9 a position ( afflu5ce1 ,i consid]$--! pressure ( necessity be+ remov$--t ,i %\ld d well to resign my own bus9ess connection & employ my "t m pr(itably 9 dome/ic affairs4 ,?is 0 a great relief to me1 = ,i always felt consid]able repugnance to mix+ ) ! _w 9 ! way ( bus9ess1 :ile among my *ildr5 & att5d+ to _! wants & int]e/s ,i f\nd myself 9 my own legitimate sph]e4 ,b !re 0 n[ no alt]native4 ,all int]e/ 9 ! ,telegraph _h be5 resign$2 my husb&'s prop]ty _h be5 wa/$ 9 an attempt to keep x up1 & he _h no?+ n[ to dep5d ^u4 ,some?+ mu/ be done1 & ,i resolv$ t ,i w\ld n be backw>d 9 be>+ my full %>e ( ! burd54 ,x 0 only natural t we %\ld feel v mu* unsettl$ 9 m9d by ! great *ange :i* _h tak5 place 9 our position1 = x is no easy matt] to cut asund] ! ties & associations ( a lifetime4 ,any "o sudd5ly *ang+ 8 religi\s fai? w\ld1 to a c]ta9 ext5t1 feel & und]/& :at ,i mean 9 ?is respect4 ,b 9 ref]5ce to any ord9>y religion1 ! p]son =sak+ x w\ld probably exp]i5ce comp>atively little alt]ation 9 8 e-day life4 ,9 ,mormonism x is v diff]5t1 especially to any "o :o has occupi$ a prom95t position among ! ,sa9ts4 ,to resign our religion 0 to revolutionize our lives4 ,ev]y?+ 0 *ang$3 ! fri5ds ( ye>s w\ld look coldly on u & avoid u2 p]sons :om we _h be=e %unn$ z ,g5tiles or ,apo/ates w\ld be ! only individuals :o w\ld reg>d u ) fav\r2 our entire position 9 ! mid/ ( a mo/ exclusive community 0 completely rev]s$2 9 a ^w1 we ourselves 7 n[ 8,apo/ates60 ,?9k+ to turn ! curr5t ( 8 ?\ghts1 & believ+ t *ange w\ld be b5eficial to him1 ,i sugge/$ to my husb& t he %\ld pay a visit to ! ,ea/]n ,/ates4 ,9 ,new ,york ,i believ$ he c\ld f9d employm5t :i* w\ld help to div]t 8 ?\ghts f ,mormon affairs1 &1 at ! same "t1 w\ld be pr(itable to him 9 o!r respects4 ,my sugge/ion 0 act$ ^u1 & my husb& set out ,ea/1 :ile ,i prep>$ to engage aga9 9 ! same bus9ess :i* ,i _h =m]ly conduct$ s successfully4 ,n[1 = ! fir/ "t s9ce ,i embrac$ ,mormonism1 ,i mix$ freely ) ,g5tiles & ^? :o _h left ! ,*ur*1 & x 0 n long be=e ,i f\nd t ?is int]c\rse ) ! out] _w produc$ a m>k$ & decid$ effect ^u my m9d4 ,my views 7 enl>g$1 & my ?\ghts became m lib]al 9 _! tone4 ,my husb&'s lett]s %[$ me t a simil> *ange 0 tak+ place 9 him4 ,we 7 n ! only ,apo/ates f ! ,*ur* at t "t4 ,! ,new ,movem5t1 z ! reaction aga9/ ! tyranny ( ,brigham ,"y 0 call$1 0 !n 9 progress2 & ! m9ds ( all intellig5t ,sa9ts 7 l$ to reflect ^u ! unhe>d-( claims ( ,brigham's 8,infallible0 ,prie/hood4 ,at ?is "t ! ,prophet endeav\r$ to rivet /ill m firmly ! fett]s :i* b\nd 8 delud$ foll[]s1 by e/abli%+ 8,zion's ,co-op]ative ,m]cantile ,in/itution0 & reviv+ ! 8,ord] ( ,eno*40 ,! ,co-op]ative ,in/itution 0 ann\nc$ z a jo9t-/ock conc]n1 e/abli%$ "u ! pret5ce t x w\ld be a b5efit to ! work+ classes1 & all ! memb]s ( ! ,*ur* 7 invit$ to pur*ase %>es1 :i* 7 sold at tw5ty-five doll>s ea*4 ,! /atem5t s (t5 made by ,brigham & repeat$ by /rang]s1 to ! effect t ! exorbitant prices *>g$ by ,g5tile m]*ants necessitat$ ! e/abli%m5t ( su* an in/itution 01 z e ,mormon kn[s1 only a pret5ce1 & a v %all[ "o too2 = ! ,walk] ,bro!rs & o!r m]*ants _h1 = _m ye>s1 suppli$ goods to ,mormons & ,g5tiles alike1 at :at1 "u ! circum/ances1 7 reasonable & j prices2 = ! railway n !n be+ con/ruct$1 & e article ( comm]ce be+ ( necessity c>ri$ across ! ,pla9s--a di/ance ( ov] a ?\s& miles--by horse-teams1 prices 71 ( c\rse1 v high1 & w\ld1 if ?is circum/ance 7 n tak5 into consid]ation1 appe> extortionate4 ,9 fact1 subsequ5tly1 ! 8,co-op]ative0 /ores1 :i* _h />t$ ) high rates1 "u ! belief t e rival w\ld be cru%$1 7 compell$ to l[] _! prices to ^? ( ! ,walk] ,bro!rs1 or1 9 spite ( _! fai?1 ! ,mormons w\ld h =sak5 ,brigham's ,in/itution = ! sake ( _! pockets4 ,_m1 9 fact1 did secretly g to ,g5tile /ores1 b !y 7 wat*$ by ! police & report$ to ! tea*]s4 ,t l>ge ,mormon /ore1 9 :i* ,brigham ,"y _h su* a heavy int]e/1 0 to become ! p>5t e/abli%m5t--! f\nta9-head f :i* temporal bless+s1 9 ! %ape ( *eap goods ( e description1 7 to fl[ unto ! p4 ,ea* ,w>d 0 to h its own /ore1 & !re ! ,sa9ts ( t ,w>d 7 expect$ to deal exclusively1 &1 z ! tea*]s said1 8keep (f ,ma9 /reet :]e ! ,g5tile /ores 7 locat$40 ,^! ,w>d-/ores pur*as$ _! goods f ! p>5t /ore1 :]e no?+ 0 sold by retail4 ,all ! less] ,mormon m]*ants 7 8c\nsell$0 to sell out _! /ock to ! ,*ur*1 = j :at ! ,*ur* *ose to (f] !m1 or dispose ( x o!rwise z be/ !y c\ld1 & !n !y might g f>m+1 or on mission1 or any?+ else2 b sell out !y mu/1 = !y 7 pla9ly told t !y w\ld n be all[$ to c>ry on bus9ess 9 opposition to ! new ,in/itution4 ,n[1 in/ead ( b5efit+ ! poor] ,sa9ts1 by supply+ goods to !m at a small advance ^u co/ prices1 z 0 at fir/ proclaim$ to be ! object ( ! 8,co-op0--z ! ,in/itution 0 briefly & famili>ly call$--! rev]se 0 ! case1 = competition 0 altoge!r bani%$4 ,all ! trade ( ! ,g5tile m]*ants--) "o or two exceptions--0 =cibly tak5 f !m1 = ! p 7 n to trade 9 any /ore )\t fir/ look+ to see if ! sign ( ! ,in/itution--a picture ( 8,! ,all-see+ ,eye10 & ! words 8,hol9ess unto ! ,"l0 7 ov] ! doorway4 ,h[ (t5 ,i h se5 gr\ps ( c\ntry p /raggl+ along1 ) _! heads ?r[n back & _! eyes /ra9+ al(t 9 eag] que/ ( t sign1 al?\gh p]haps _! pur*ases w\ld only am\nt to a few y>ds ( ribbon or a pap] ( p9s6 ,no "o c pr$ict :at ! ,*ur*--o!rwise ,brigham--w d1 if money %\ld *ance to tempt him4 ,9 ?is case1 ! p>5t ,co-op]ative /ore turn$1 z ,i might say1 traitor to ! ,w>d-/ores--its own *ildr5--= no soon] _h !y all be5 e/abli%$1 & _h b\ght up all ! old /ock f ! p>5t /ore1 ?an x 0 :isp]$ abroad t ! latt] 0 ab\t to op5 9 ! retail l9e ) a spl5did /ock ( new goods--to suit ! ,g5tiles1 ( c\rse2 = ! ,sa9ts 7 n all[$ to trade outside ( _! own ,w>d-/ores1 :]e !y 7 expect$ to buy up all ! old goods4 ,9 fact1 9 ord] to ga9 ,g5tile trade & fill ! pockets ( ,brigham & ! lead+ ,eld]s :o really con/itut$ ! ,in/itution 7& d s /ill71 ! same prices 7 ask$ at ! p>5t /ore z _h be5 *>g$ ! poor confid+ /ock-hold]s ( ! ,w>d-/ores at :olesale4 ,?is1 ( c\rse1 caus$ great dissatisfaction1 & _m ( ! ,sa9ts rebell$1 decl>+ !y w\ld g :]e !y pleas$ to sp5d _! money1 :5 !y _h any to sp5d4 ,! ,w>d-/ores1 9 consequ5ce1 7 oblig$1 at great loss1 to l[] _! prices1 & _m 7 utt]ly ru9$4 ,o!rs :i* _h m capital tid$ ov] ! difficulty1 & le>n$ a lesson conc]n+ ! hone/y ( ! ,*ur* lead]s :i* x is to be hop$ did !m good4 ,z an example ( ! way 9 :i* matt]s 7 manag$1 ,i may in/ance a v old & infirm woman :o 0 "o ( _! victims4 ,%e came to me "o day & said1 8,si/] ,/5h\se1 w y buy out my /ock 9 ! ,co-op]ative /ore8 ,our /ore has fail$1 & ,i h my tw5ty-five doll>s' wor? 9 my basket4 ,i piti$ h] & ask$ h] to let me see h] /ock1 & !reupon %e br\ght out a p\nd & a half ( nails6 ,i did buy out h] /ock1 = ,i ?\ght t ! nails might be h&y to h 9 ! h\se1 al?\gh ,i did n give h] tw5ty-five doll>s = !m4 ,ano!r p]son--a ,fr5*man1 :om ,i knew--b\ght a %>e1 & :5 he saw c]ta9 ru9 loom+ ov] 8 ,w>d-/ore1 he w5t to ! head-qu>t]s & pur*as$ tw5ty-five doll>s' wor? ( goods1 & hav+ got !m all secur$1 laid d[n 8 %>ehold]s' receipt 9 paym5t & beat a ha/y retreat4 ,he 0 a =tunate man & act$ prud5tly1 b alas6 = ! poor s\ls :o v5tur$ all _! little sav+s 9 ^! ,*ur* 8,in/itutions0 & !n 7 left to pov]ty & />vation4 ,ab\t ?is "t1 also1 x 0 t ! ,mormon wom51 "u ! auspices ( ,eliza ,r4 ,sn[ & ! ,female ,relief ,society1 got up a petition to ,mrs4 ,grant1 begg+ h] to use h] influ5ce ) ! ,presid5t 9 fav\r ( a tol]ation ( ,polygamy4 ,! names to t petition 7 affix$ )\t any ref]5ce to propriety or "r4 ,hundr$s ( names 7 copi$ f ! books ( ! ,society )\t any p]mission be+ obta9$1 or ev5 ask$1 ( _! own]s4 ,x 0 !n1 z ,i be=e /at$1 t ! names ( ! dead 7 actually add$ z subscrib]s to ! petition2 & 9 "o case1 :5 a lady m5tion$ t h] dead daught] _h nev] belong$ to ! ,*ur*1 z %e di$ be=e h] "m he>d ( ,mormonism1 %e 0 told t h] daught] w\ld n[1 ( c\rse1 h f\nd out t ,polygamy 0 ! true ord] ( dome/ic life 9 heav51 & t %e w\ld c]ta9ly be will+ to subscribe if %e c\ld return to e>?4 ,h] "n 01 !re=e1 add$ )\t any fur!r c]emony1 al?\gh %e _h be5 dead a good _m ye>s4 ,9 ,janu>y1 #ahgb1 a c\nt]-petition 0 got up by ! ,g5tile & ,apo/ate ladies4 ,x set =? ! cruel bondage :i* ,polygamy inflicts ^u wom52 spoke ( ! he>tless conduct ( ! ,mormon lead]s1 & ( ! murd]s & o!r f\l crimes :i* _h be5 committ$ by !m or at _! in/igation2 %[$ t1 %\ld ,utah become a ,/ate1 "u ! "n ( ,des]et--:i* has ev] be5 ! ambition ( ,brigham ,"y--!re w\ld be no protection = life or prop]ty2 /at$ t ! au?orities !mselves _h decl>$ t :5 /atehood 0 conf]r$1 ,g5tiles & ,apo/ates w\ld h good cause to tremble2 &1 f9ally1 pray$ ! ,national ,gov]nm5t to /ret* =? its long arm ( p[] = ! def5ce & protection ( hone/ & law-abid+ citiz5s4 ,?is petition 0 sign$ by f\r hundr$ & =ty ladies ( ,utah1 mo/ ( !m memb]s ( ! ,mormon ,*ur*1 ^: real names 7 all fairly & op5ly affix$ by _! own selves4 ,x 0 pres5t$ to ! ,s5ate by ! ,hon4 ,s*uyl] ,colfax--!n ,vice-,presid5t2 0 read1 discuss$1 & ord]$ to be pr9t$4 ,z might be suppos$1 x excit$ a great deal ( angry discussion on ! "p ( ! ,*ur* au?orities2 & ! foll[+ ,sundays ! names ( ^? :o _h sign$ 7 read out 9 ! ,tab]nacle1 & /rong rem>ks made ^u _! conduct1 9 ord] to intimidate !m & prev5t o!rs f foll[+ _! example4 ,! consequ5ce 0 t _m ( _! husb&s & sons 7 ?reat5$ ) loss ( employm5t1 & !y 7 ?us =c$ to retract4 ,t same ye> a bill 0 br\ght into ! ,t]ritorial ,legislature1 provid+ t boys ( fifte5 ye>s ( age & girls ( twelve might legally contract m>riage1 ) ! cons5t ( _! p>5ts or gu>dians6 ,9 /at+ ?is disgraceful fact1 ,i feel c]ta9 t ! read] :o has nev] liv$ among ! ,sa9ts1 & is n v]s$ 9 ,utah affairs1 w ?9k t ,i mu/ be mi/ak5 9 :at ,i say4 ,x is1 h[ev]1 ,i am sorry to say1 only too true1 & ! records ( ! ,legislature w be> me witness4 ,) ! exception ( ! little lit]>y ef=ts :i* ,i h made f "t to "t to expose ?r\gh ! press ! iniquity ( ! 8,cele/ial ,ord] ( ,m>riage10 no ev5t ( m ?an p]sonal & private int]e/ has1 s9ce ,i left ! ,mormon ,*ur*1 int]rupt$ ! ev5 t5or ( my life4 ,la/ ye>1 h[ev]1 ,i 0 able to deal ano!r bl[--weak1 x might be1 b /ill x 0 a bl[--direct$ at t false sy/em aga9/ :i* ,i h sworn et]nal enmity4 ,i lectur$ ^u ,mormon ,polygamy 9 ,wa%+ton & ,bo/on1 & o!r l>ge cities1 & attempt$ 9 my humble way to attract ! att5tion ( ! ,g5tile _w to ! iniquities ( t t]rible sup]/ition :i*1 9 ,utah1 has degrad$ womanhood & wreck$ ! happ9ess ( ?\s&s ( my delud$ si/]s4 ,i met ) sympa?y ev]y:]e2 & !n1 z n[1 ,i resolv$ t ef=ts l ^! ,i w\ld nev] relax until1 if ,god sp>$ my life1 ,i %\ld see ! la/ /one 9 ! fabric ( ,mormonism ov]turn$ & ,mormon ,polygamy c\nt$ among ! s9s & follies ( ! pa/4 ,8 lit]>y "w accompli%$1 my husb& return$ to ,salt ,lake ,city4 ,look+ back ov] ! pa/1 our ,mission>y life & our fai? 9 ,brighamism seems l a dream1 s difficult is x = u to realize t we ev] submitt$ our s\ls to ! slav]y ( ! ,prie/hood or plac$ any cr$5ce 9 t mass ( folly1 sup]/ition1 & lic5ti\sness1 kn[n z ,mormonism4 ,dur+ all 8 ef=ts to obey c\nsel & build up a 8k+dom10 my husb&1 ,i "k1 nev] ceas$ to love me4 ,= ! mis]y :i* he !n1 9--z ,i firmly believe--8 consci5ti\s endeav\rs to live 8 religion1 inflict$ ^u me1 ,i h long ago freely & fully =giv5 him4 ,i ?9k t dur+ all t "t he nev] ceas$ to ent]ta9 ! fonde/ affection = me2 &1 if he 0 fooli%ly confid+ 9 ^? :o he believ$ 7 div9ely au?oriz$ & speak+ by inspiration1 c ,i blame him :5 ,i rememb] t ,i myself 0 actuat$ by ! same fai?8 ,x 0 impossible to oblit]ate utt]ly ! education & influ5ces ( a :ole life's exp]i5ce4 ,t wall ( p>tition--,polygamy--:i* sep>at$ my husb& f me = s _m ye>s1 is n[ = ev] brok5 d[n4 ,b ! effects ( ,mormonism w1 no d\bt1 ?\gh unconsci\sly to ourselves1 t+e ! :ole ( our future life4 ,we c nev] =get ! pa/4 ,! m\rnful sympa?y :i*1 accord+ to ! poet1 ! ,p]i at ! gate ( ,p>adise express$ ov] ! s9s & sorr[s ( humanity1 might1 ) a slight v>iation1 be appli$ to our own lives3-- 8#8,poor race ( m56' said ! pity+ _s1 #8,de>ly ye pay = y\r primal fall2 ,"s traces ( ,ed5 ye /ill inh]it1 ,b ! trail ( ! s]p5t is ov] !m all4'0 ,l',,envoi4 ,9 ! prec$+ pages ,i h endeav\r$ to pres5t to ! read] ! /ory ( my life's exp]i5ce 9 ,mormonism & ,polygamy1 & to place be=e him a tru?ful picture ( ! doctr9es & practices ( ! ,sa9ts4 ,two objects influ5c$ my m9d :5 ,i fir/ propos$ to write ?is volume4 ,9 ! fir/ place1 ,i e>ne/ly desir$ to /ir up my ,mormon si/]s to a j s5se ( _! own position4 ,i long$ to make !m feel1 z ,i d1 ! cruel degradation1 ! humiliat+ tyranny1 :i* ,polygamy inflicts4 ,i want$ to ar\se !m to a s5se ( _! own womanhood1 & a j appreciation ( ^? rights & duties :i*1 z wom51 ,god has conf]r$ ^u !m4 ,i 0 anxi\s t !y %\ld und]/& & "k ! inconsi/5cy & folly ( t sup]/iti\s fai? by :i* !y h be5 s egregi\sly delud$2 t !y might le>n to hate & loa! ! falsely-nam$ 8,cele/ial0 sy/em ( m>riage2 & ris+ 9 hone/ indignation & disgu/ aga9/ ! tyranny ( ! oppressor1 break asund] ! yoke ( bondage1 ca/ f !m = ev] ! moral1 religi\s1 & social fett]s :]e) !y are b\nd1 &1 walk+ 9 ! light ( tru?1 ass]t _! p]fect equality ) _! sons1 _! husb&s1 _! fa!rs1 & _! bre?r51 & h5ce=? claim & occupy t position :i* ,god assign$ !m1 & :i* by "r is !irs6 ,9 ! second place1 ,i 0 anxi\s to enli/ = !m ! sympa?y ( ! ,g5tile _w4 ,mo/ /r5u\s ef=ts h be5 made1 l>ge sums ( money h be5 sp5t1 & secret intrigues1 z well z op5 & hon\rable negotiations1 h be5 c>ri$ on = ! purpose ( obta9+ admission = ,utah into ! ,union1 "u ! title ( ,! ,/ate ( ,des]et4 ,! "n 8,des]et0 itself is tak5 f ! ,book ( ,mormon1 & is said to signify 9 ! cele/ial tongue a honey-bee2 :]e=e x is t ! escut*eon ( ,utah ,t]ritory is a bee-hive2 & to grant t "n 8,des]et0 alone w\ld be a concession to ,mormon sup]/ition4 ,out "h 9 ! ,valley ( ! ,great ,salt ,lake we are p]fectly well aw>e t1 ) ,utah once admitt$ z a ,/ate1 x w\ld be almo/ impossible = ,g5tiles to live peaceably & safely among ! ,mormons2 & ( ?is fact _! lead+ m5 & _! (ficial organs h repeat$ly boa/$4 ,) ,utah z a ,/ate1 ! enslavem5t ( ! p to ! ,prie/hood w\ld be complete1 & ! cruel bondage ( ,polygamy w\ld be rivett$ a ?\s& times m firmly ^u ! un=tunate wom54 ,i 0 anxi\s1 !re=e1 to attract ! att5tion ( ,congress & ! nation at l>ge to ^! facts2 t ?us1 :5 ,mormon bills & ,mormon petitions1 replete ) falsifi$ /ati/ics1 & p]v]t$1 &--9 _m in/ances--utt]ly untrue1 /atem5ts are pres5t$ to ! ,national ,legislature1 nei!r ! repres5tatives ( ! nation nor ! nation itself might be deceiv$ !reby4 ,^! 7 ! two objects :i* ,i _h propos$ to myself 9 writ+ my own exp]i5ce z a wife & "m among ! ,mormons1 & ,i tru/ to "s ext5t at lea/ ,i h realiz$ !m4 ,i s5d =? ?is little book ) _m e>ne/ pray]s & _m he>tfelt aspirations t my ,mormon si/]s may be b5efit$ !reby4 ,out ( ! evil :i* man orig9ates1 ,god alone c produce good2 & ,i tru/ t my feeble attempt to portray ! cruel wrong :i* ,polygamy inflicts ^u ! wom5 ( ,utah may excite ! sympa?y ( e man & woman ^: influ5ce may avail to ha/5 t "t :5 ?is relic ( anci5t b>b>ism may be utt]ly root$ out be=e ! advanc+ civilization ( ! age4 ,! night--! gloomy night ( sup]/ition--_c la/ = ev]4 ,already !re are signs ( ! com+ dawn4 ,! "t1 ,i tru/ & pray1 w n long be delay$ :5 ! veil %all be remov$ f ! eyes ( ! enslav$ m5 & wom5 ( our mod]n ,zion1 & !y %all ca/ aside = ev] ! yoke ( ! ,prie/hood4 ,i tru/ t ,i %all yet live to see ! day :5 ! ,mormon wives & mo!rs %all awake to a s5se ( _! position & responsibilities1 %all und]/& t ,god nev] requir$ t _! womanhood %\ld be degrad$1 _! love cru%$ out1 & ! holie/ in/9cts ( _! nature p]v]t$2 ,i tru/ to see !m ass]t _! inali5able rights--_! womanly pr]ogatives--_! v bir?right itself2 ,i tru/ to see !m %ake (f ! slav]y ( t cruel sup]/ition :i* has s long held !m captive2 ,i tru/ to see !m take _! places side by side ) ,g5tile matrons--! hon\r$ wives & mo!rs ( ! m5 ( ,utah2 ,i tru/ to see t d>k %ad[ bani%$ f _! features1 bani%$ f _! he>ts1 bani%$ f _! lives2 ,i tru/ to see !m ,,free6 ,full ( love = !m--my si/]s1 my fri5ds1 ! companions ( my life hi!rto1 ^: religion 0 once my own1 ^: hopes & joys ,i h %>$1 ^: sorr[s & trials h be5 also m9e--) hopeful pray] ,i lay d[n my p5 & pres5t my lab\rs to ! _w4 ,& if my humble ef=ts %all h conduc$1 ev5 9 ! smalle/ degree1 to keep "o si/] f ent]+ into ?is s9ful 8,ord]02 if !y %all h ar\s$ ! wom5 ( ,utah to inve/igate ! f\ndations ( _! fai?1 to calmly & imp>tially consid] ! iniquities ( ! sy/em ( ,polygamy1 to r5\nce ! man-made slav]y ( ! 8,cele/ial ,ord]02 if ,i %all be f\nd to h awak5$ 9 ! m9ds ( ?9k+ m5 & wom5 a hatr$ = ! lic5ti\s doctr9e :i* enslaves ! wives & daught]s ( ! ,sa9ts2 if ,i h to any ext5t enli/$ active1 practical sympa?y 9 _! behalf1 ,i %all feel t my endeav\rs h be5 abundantly rew>d$1 & t my lab\rs h n be5 be/[$ 9 va94 ,,po/script4 ,! publication ( ?is book has probably contribut$ m to br+ ! t]rible realities ( ,mormon life to ! k ( ! public1 & to ha/5 _! day ( judgm5t1 ?an has any o!r human ag5cy4 ,! (fic]s ( ju/ice 9 ,utah 7 f t "t urg$ to br+ ! notori\s crim9als to ju/ice1 b _m well-contriv$ plans = _! arre/ fail$ 9 ! accompli%m5t4 ,unexpect$ly1 ,john ,d4 ,lee1 ! h]o ( ! ,m\nta9 ,mead[s ,massacre1 01 :ile visit+ "o ( 8 wives1 surpris$ & plac$ "u conf9em5t 9 ! ,u4,s4 ,milit>y ,=t ne> ,beav] ,city4 ,9 ! summ] ( #ahge a l5g?y trial ensu$1 & z !re 7 ,mormons among ! jurors1 !y fail$ to agree 9 a v]dict4 ,public indignation grew int5sely aga9/ ! sy/em ( falsehood con/antly practis$ by ! ,mormon jurors1 :5 ! ,*ur* or any ( its lead]s 7 int]e/$ 9 ! c\rts1 & a second trial ( ,john ,d4 ,lee 0 e>ne/ly dem&$4 ,dur+ 8 fir/ trial ! ,apo/le ,george ,a4 ,smi?1 ,brigham's fav\rite & c\nsellor1 :o 0 und\bt$ly ! in/rum5t ?r\gh :om ,lee & 8 associates _h be5 8c\nsell$0 to de/roy ! emigrants1 0 /ill liv+1 & to scre5 him x 0 necess>y t ,lee %\ld escape ! p5alty ( 8 crime4 ,betwe5 ! fir/ & second trials ( ,john ,d4 ,lee1 ,smi? di$1 & ,lee might n[ confess :at he pleas$1 = ! l9k 9 ! *a9 ( communication f ,brigham ,"y to ! murd]]s 0 = ev] brok54 ,cont9ually /riv+ to ga9 ! admission ( ,utah into ! ,union z a ,/ate1 & be+ always met ) a repulse bas$ ^u ! :olesale murd] crimes 9 ,utah t _h gone unpuni%$1 ,brigham1 hav+ no long] any?+ to fe> f ,lee's confessions ( 8 7,brigham's7 complicity 9 ! ,m\nta9 ,mead[s ,massacre1 resolv$ to sacrifice ,lee to appease ! public clam\r2 accord+ly ! te/imony f eye-witnesses 0 ov]:elm+1 & ,lee 0 condemn$ by 8 own ,mormon bre?r51 :o = ne>ly tw5ty ye>s _h c>ri$ 9 _! m9ds ?is guilty evid5ce4 ,lee 0 s5t5c$ to be execut$ on ! #bcrd ( ,m>*1 #ahgg1 & z he _h ! *oice ( ! mann] ( 8 dea?1 he elect$ to be %ot4 ,! c\rt s approv$1 & ord]$ him to be1 on ! day nam$1 tak5 to ! ,m\nta9 ,mead[s1 :]e ! great slaught] ( ! innoc5t m51 wom51 & *ildr51 _h be5 consummat$1 to !re meet 8 doom4 ,h[ tru?fully ,i _h told ! /ory ( ?is great crime w be se5 9 ! confession ( ,lee be=e 8 execution2 & :at a dreadful comm5t>y t docum5t is on ! ,mormon ,prie/hood w be app>5t to e intellig5t read]4 ,"u ! "n ( a ,prophet ( ,jesus ,*ri/1 ,brigham ,"y c\ld rule ) un*all5g$ sway hundr$s ( ?\s&s ( hone/ m5 & wom51 :o 7 born ( ,*ri/ian p>5ts1 & tra9$ 9 ! civiliz$ cu/oms ( ,europe & ,am]ica6 ,x w\ld seem impossible1 yet x is )9 ?is book reveal$ to be an a/\nd+ & humiliat+ fact4 ,9 ! escort conduct+ ,lee to ! place ( execution !re 7 9 all ab\t eighty p]sons1 "o ( :om 0 a photograph]1 :o deem$ ! circum/ance wor?y p]petuation by ! un]r+ cam]a4 ,f "o ( ^? pres5t ,i copy ! sket* ( ! end+ ( ,john ,d4 ,lee4 ,x 0 ,friday morn+ :5 ! p>ty /opp$ at _! de/9ation1 & ,lee 0 imm$iately ord]$ to desc5d f ! waggon 9 :i* he rode1 :i* he did )\t delay4 ,m>%al ,nelson !n read ! ord]s ( ! c\rt reg>d+ ! execution1 & :5 ! read+ 0 conclud$1 ,lee 0 ask$ if he _h any?+ to say4 ,j at ?is mom5t ! photograph] 0 arrang+ 8 cam]a to take a picture ( ! prison]4 ,lee caught sight ( him1 & po9t+ to him said1 8,i want to see t man10 & add$ 9 a l\d] voice1 address$ to ! photograph]1 8,come ov] "h40 ,mr4 ,f5nimore1 ! arti/1 repli$1 8,9 a second1 ,mr4 ,lee10 & v soon aft] 0 by ! side ( ,lee1 :o said1-- 8,i want to ask a fav\r ( y1 sir2 ,i want y to furni% ea* ( my ?ree wives ) a copy ( ! photograph--"o to ,ra*el ,a41 ,emma ,b41 & ,s>ah ,c40 ,he _h _h 9 all eighte5 wives2 b only ! ?ree nam$ rema9$4 ,ra*el 0 ! olde/ & mo/ fai?ful to 8 int]e/s4 ,! arti/ cons5t$ to d z he _h be5 reque/$1 & ,lee !n sat = 8 picture1 :i* 0 successfully tak54 ,!n he arose &1 look+ ov] ^? /&+ ab\t1 said1-- 8,i h b little to say ?is morn+4 ,( c\rse1 ,i feel t ,i am ^u ! br9k ( et]nity1 & ! solemnity ( et]nity %\ld re/ ^u my m9d at ! pres5t mom5t4 ,i h made out1 or endeav\r$ to d s1 a manuscript & an abridg$ hi/ory ( my life4 ,?is w be publi%$4 ,sir1 turn+ to ,di/rict ,attorney ,h[>d ,i h giv5 my views & feel+s ) reg>d to all ^! ?+s4 ,i feel resign$ to my fate4 ,i feel z calm z a summ] morn+4 ,i h done no?+ adv]sely wrong4 ,my consci5ce is cle> be=e ,god & man1 & ,i am ready to meet my ,r$eem]4 ,?is x is t places me on ?is field4 ,i am n an infidel2 ,i h n d5i$ ,god or ,8 m]cy4 ,i am a /rong believ] 9 ^! ?+s4 ,! mo/ ,i regret is p>t+ ) my family4 ,_m ( !m are unprotect$1 & w be left fa!rless4 ,:5 ,i speak ( ^? little ones1 !y t\* a t5d] *ord )9 me40 ,at ?is mom5t 8 voice trembl$1 & he p]ceptibly falt]$ 9 8 words4 ,he cont9u$1 h[ev]1 z foll[s3-- 8,i h done no?+ design$ly wrong 9 ?is affair4 ,i us$ my utmo/ endeav\rs to save ^? p4 ,i w\ld h giv5 worlds 7 !y at my comm& to h avoid$ t calamity1 b ,i c\ld n4 ,i am sacrific$ to satisfy feel+s1 & am us$ to gratify p>ties2 b ,i am ready to die4 ,i h no fe> ( dea?4 ,x has no t]rors = me2 & no p>ticle ( m]cy h ,i ask$ = f c\rt or (ficials to sp>e my life4 ,i d n fe> dea?4 ,i %all nev] g to a worse place ?an ! "o ,i am n[ 94 ,i h said x to my family1 & ,i w say x to-day1 t ! ,gov]nm5t ( ! ,unit$ ,/ates sacrifices _! be/ fri5d1 & t is say+ a great deal2 b x is true4 ,i am a true believ] 9 ! ,gospel ( ,jesus ,*ri/4 ,i d n believe ev]y?+ t is n[ practis$ & taught by ,brigham ,"y4 ,i d n agree ) him4 ,i believe he is lead+ 8 p a/ray4 ,b ,i believe 9 ! gospel z taught 9 its purity by ,joseph ,smi? 9 =m] days4 ,i h my reasons = say+ ?is4 ,i us$ to make ?is man's w my pleasure 7evid5tly allud+ to ,brigham ,"y71 & did s = ?irty ye>s4 ,see h[ & :at ,i h come to ?is day6 ,i h be5 sacrific$ 9 a c[>dly1 da/>dly mann]4 ,!re are ?\s&s ( p 9 ! ,*ur*--hon\rable1 good-he>t$--:om ,i *]i% 9 my he>t4 ,i regret to leave my family4 ,!y are ne> & de> to me4 ,^! are ?+s to r\se my sympa?y4 ,i decl>e ,i did no?+ design$ly wrong 9 ?is un=tunate affair4 ,i did ev]y?+ 9 my p[] to save all emigrants1 b ,i am ! "o t mu/ suff]4 ,hav+ said ?is ,i feel resign$4 ,i ask ! ,"l1 my ,god1 to ext5d ,8 m]cy to me & receive my _s4 ,my lab\rs are "h done40 ,?is c]emony1 altoge!r1 _h occupi$ ab\t an h\r1 & x 0 n[ close ^u elev5 o'clock4 ,! sun1 :i* _h be5 fitfully bright dur+ ! morn+1 _h become veil$ beh9d a pass+ cl\d1 yet ! sky 0 only p>tially ov]ca/1 z d[n ! horizon 7 bright /reaks ( gold5 light2 & ! effect ( light & %ad[1 z portray$ ^u ! sc5e1 soon to culm9ate 9 ! execution ( ! law1 0 "o t seem$ to be 9 full h>mony ) ! pa9ful sil5ce t prevail$4 ,!n x 0 t ! words ^u ! rude monum5t1 :i* once _h /ood to m>k ! spot ( ! massacre1 came out ) vivid =ce-- 8,v5geance is m9e1 ,i w repay1 sai? ! ,"l40 ,! /illness ( ! occasion 0 brok5 by ,lee's seat+ himself1 accord+ to ord]s1 ^u ! c(f9 provid$ = 8 burial4 ,he tri$ to appe> calm z he fac$ ! squad ( soldi]s ^: rifles 7 soon to dis*>ge _! cont5ts into 8 body4 ,a ,me?odi/ prea*]1 ,p>son ,/okes1 !n knelt beside ! c(f9 & (f]$ a %ort pray]1 foll[+ :i* a :ite h&k]*ief 0 plac$ ov] ,lee's eyes4 ,:ile ! m>%al 0 arrang+ ! h&k]*ief1 ,lee said 9 a l[ b firm tone ( voice--8,let !m %oot ! balls ?r\gh my he>t2 don't let !m mangle my body40 ,he 0 assur$ t ! aim w\ld be z true z possible1 & ! m>%al !n /epp$ back & gave 8 ord] to ! five riflem5 :o _h be5 select$ to d ! "w1-- 8,,ready6 ,,aim6 ,,fire60 ,! m5 made ready by rais+ _! weapons to ! %\ld]1 & !n took delib]ate aim at ! bl9dfold$ man1 :o 0 ab\t tw5ty feet (f1 & at ! ^w 8fire60 ! volley 0 dis*>g$1 ) b a s+le s\nd p]ceptible to ! e>1 & ,lee fell back ^u ! c(f91 dead1 )\t a cry or ev5 a moan4 ,he 0 %ot ?r\gh ! he>t1 z he _h hop$ to be1 & di$ in/antly4 ,! m>%al1 aft] a few mom5ts1 view$ ! body1 & said3 8,he is q dead2 ! law is satisfi$ at la/40 ,,*apt] ,,xliv4 ,,m\nta9 ,,mead[s ,,massacre--,,complete ,,confession ,,( ,,bi%op ,,john ,d4 ,,lee4 ,9 ! mon? ( ,septemb]1 #aheg1 ! company ( emigrants1 kn[n z ! 8,arkansas ,company10 arriv$ at ,p>[an1 ,iron c\nty1 ,utah1 on _! way to ,cali=nia4 ,at ,p>[an "y ,ad51 "o ( ! company1 saw & recogniz$ "o ,william ,laney1 a ,mormon resid5t ( ,p>[an4 ,ad5 & 8 fa!r _h rescu$ ,laney f an anti-,mormon mob 9 ,t5nessee sev]al ye>s be=e1 & sav$ 8 life4 ,he 7,laney7 at ! "t he 0 attack$ by ! mob 0 a ,mormon mission>y 9 ,t5nessee4 ,laney 0 glad to see 8 fri5d & b5efactor1 & invit$ him to 8 h\se & gave him "s 8g>d5 sauce0 to take back to ! camp ) him4 ,! same ev5+1 x 0 report$ to ,bi%op 7,colonel7 ,dame1 t ,laney _h giv5 potatoes & onions to ! man ,ad51 "o ( ! emigrants4 ,:5 ! report 0 made to ,bi%op ,dame1 he rais$ 8 h& & crook$ 8 little f+] 9 a significant mann] to "o ,b>ney ,c>t]1 8 bro!r-9-law1 & "o ( ! 8,angels ( ,dea?40 ,c>t]1 )\t ano!r ^w1 walk$ out1 w5t to ,laney's h\se ) a long picket 9 8 h&1 call$ ,laney out & /ruck him a heavy bl[ on ! head1 fractur+ 8 skull1 & left him on ! gr\nd = dead4 ,c4 ,y4 ,webb & ,isaac ,naoman1 ,presid5t ( ! 8,high ,c\ncil10 bo? told me !y saw ,dame's manuvres4 ,james ,mc,guffee1 !n a resid5t ( ,p>[an1 b ?r\gh oppression has be5 =c$ to leave !re & is n[ a m]*ant 9 ,pahranagat ,valley1 ne> ,pio*e1 ,nev41 kn[s ^! facts4 ,ab\t ! la/ ( ,augu/1 #aheg1 "s t5 days be=e ! ,m\nta9 ,mead[s ,massacre1 ! company ( emigrants pass$ ?r\gh ,c$> ,city4 ,george ,a4 ,smi?1 !n fir/ c\nsellor 9 ! ,*ur* & ,brigham ,"y's "r-h& man1 came d[n f ,salt ,lake ,city1 prea*+ to ! diff]5t settlem5ts4 ,i at t "t 0 9 ,wa%+ton c\nty1 ne> :]e ,/4 ,george n[ /&s4 ,he s5t = me4 ,i w5t to him & he ask$ me to take him to ,c$> ,city by way ( ,=t ,cl>a & ,p9to settlem5ts1 z he 0 on bus9ess & mu/ visit all ! settlem5ts4 ,we />t$ on our way up ?r\gh ! canyon4 ,we saw h]ds ( ,indians1 & he 7,george ,a4 ,smi?7 rem>k$ to me t ^! ,indians1 ) ! advantages !y _h ( ! rocks1 c\ld use up a l>ge company ( emigrants1 or make x v hot = !m4 ,aft] paus+ = a %ort "t he said to me1 8,bro!r ,lee1 :at d y ?9k ! bre?r5 w\ld d if a company ( emigrants %\ld come d[n ?r\gh "h mak+ ?reats8 ,don't y ?9k !y w\ld pit* into !m80 ,i repli$ t 8!y c]ta9ly w\ld40 ,?is seem$ to please him1 & he aga9 said to me1 8,& y really ?9k ! bre?r5 w\ld pit* into !m80 8,i c]ta9ly d10 0 my reply1 8& y _h bett] in/ruct ,colonel ,dame & ,haight to t5d to x t ! emigrants are p]mitt$ to pass1 if y want !m to pass unmole/$40 ,he cont9u$1 8,i ask$ ,isaac 7mean+ ,haight7 ! same "q1 & he answ]$ me j z y d1 & ,i expect ! boys w\ld pit* into !m40 ,i aga9 said to him t he _h bett] say to ,gov4 ,"y t if he wants emigrant companies to pass )\t mole/ation t he mu/ in/ruct ,col4 ,dame or ,major ,haight to t effect2 = if !y are n ord]$ o!rwise !y w use !m up by ! help ( ! ,indians4 ,he told ! p at ! ,cl>a n to sell _! gra9 to ! emigrants1 nor to fe$ x to _! animals1 z !y might expect a big fight ! next spr+ ) ! ,unit$ ,/ates4 ,presid5t ,"y did n int5d to let ! troops into ! t]ritory4 ,he said3 8,we are go+ to /& up = our rights1 & w no long] be impos$ ^u by our enemies1 & want e man to be on h& ) 8 gun 9 good ord] & 8 p[d] dry10 & in/ruct$ ! p to "p ) no?+ t w\ld su/a9 life4 ,f ! #a/ to ! #aj? ( ,septemb]1 #aheg1 a mess5g] came to me--8 "n 0 ,sam ,wood--& told me t ,presid5t ,isaac ,c4 ,haight want$ me to be at ,c$> ,city t ev5+ )\t fail4 ,?is 0 ,saturday4 ,he told me t a l>ge company ( emigrants _h gone s\?4 ,i ?9k he liv$ at ,h>mony1 tw5ty miles s\? ( ,c$> ,city4 ,i obey$ ! summons4 ,presid5t ,haight met me4 ,x 0 ne> sund[n4 ,we sp5t ! night 9 an op5 h\se on "s blankets1 :]e we talk$ mo/ all night4 ,he told me t a company ( emigrants _h pass$ ?r\gh "s two days be=e1 ?reat5+ ! ,mormons ) de/ruction1 & t "o ( !m _h said he _h help$ to kill old ,joe ,smi? & 8 bro!r ,hyrum1 t o!r memb]s ( ! company ( emigrants _h help$ drive ! ,mormons out ( ,miss\ri2 t o!rs _h said !y _h come to help ,johnson's army clean ! ,mormons out ( ,utah2 t !y _h ! halt]s ready to hang old ,brigham & ,heb]1 & w\ld h !m /rung up be=e ! sn[ flew2 t "o ( ! emigrants call$ "o ( 8 ox5 7a pair ( /ags7 8,brig40 & ! o!r 8,heb]20 & t sev]al ( ! emigrants _h us$ all k9ds ( ?reats & pr(anity4 ,john ,m4 ,higbee1 ! ,city ,m>%al1 _h in=m$ !m t x 0 a brea* ( ! city ord9ance to use pr(ane language1 :]eupon "o ( !m repli$ t he did n c>e a ---- = ! ,mormon laws or ! ,mormons ei!r2 t !y _h f\ght _! way ?r\gh ! ,indians1 & w\ld d x ?r\gh ! ---- ,mormons2 & if _! god1 old ,brigham1 & 8 prie/s w\ld n sell _! provisions1 by ---- !y w\ld take :at !y want$ any way !y c\ld get x2 t ?us enrag$1 "o ( !m let loose 8 long :ip & kill$ two *ick5s1 & ?rew !m into ! waggon2 t ! wid[ ,evans said1 8,g5tlem51 ^? are my *ick5s2 please don't kill !m2 ,i am a poor wid[20 t !y ord]$ h] to 8%ut up10 or !y w\ld bl[ h] ---- bra9s out1 etc42 t !y _h be5 rais+ tr\ble ) all ! settlem5ts & ,indians on _! way2 t we 7 ?reat5$ on ! ,nor? by ,johnson's army2 t n[ our safety dep5d$ on prompt & imm$iate action2 t a company ( ,indians _h already gone ,s\? f ,p>[an & ,c$> ,city to surprise ! emigrants1 :o 7 !n at ! ,m\nta9 ,mead[s1 & he want$ me to return home 9 ! morn+ 7,sunday71 & s5d ,c>l ,s*urtz 7,indian int]pret]7 f my home 7,h>mony71 to raise ! ,indians ,s\?1 at ,h>mony1 ,wa%+ton1 & ,santa ,cl>a1 to jo9 ! ,indians f ! ,nor? & make ! attack ^u ! emigrants at ! ,mead[s4 ,i said to him1 8,w\ld x n be well to hold a c\ncil ( ! bre?r5 be=e mak+ a move80 ,he repli$ t 8e true ,latt]-,day ,sa9t t reg>d$ _! cov5ants knew well _! duty1 & t ! company ( emigrants _h =feit$ _! lives by _! acts10 & t ,bi%op ,p4 ,k4 ,smi? 7,kl+5smi?7 & ,joel ,:ite _h already gone by way ( ,p9to1 to raise ! ,indians 9 t direction1 & ^? t _h gone f ,p>[an & "h w\ld make ! attack1 & might be repuls$4 8,we c't n[ delay = a c\ncil ( ! bre?r54 ,return imm$iately1 & />t ,c>l ,s*urtz2 tell him t ,i ord]$ y to tell him to g2 & ,i want y to try & get !re be=e ! attack is made1 & make ! plan = ! ,indians1 & w s5d ,nephi ,johnson1 ! int]pret]1 to ! ,mead[s z soon z he c be got to help ,c>l ,s*urtz manage ! ,indians40 ,i did j z ,i 0 ord]$4 ,! ,indians f ! ,nor? & ab\t ,h>mony _h already />t$ = ! ,mead[s be=e ,i rea*$ home4 ,s*urtz />t$ imm$iately to d 8 "p4 ,i arriv$ at home 9 ! night1 & rema9$ till morn+4 ,i ?\ght ov] ! matt]1 & ! m ,i ?\ght ! m my feel+s revolt$ aga9/ su* a horrid de$4 ,sleep _h fl$ f me4 ,i talk$ to my wife ,ra*el ab\t x4 ,%e felt z ,i did ab\t x1 & advis$ me to let !m d _! own dirty "w1 & said t if ?+s did n g j to suit !m ! blame w\ld be laid on me4 ,%e nev] did believe 9 blood atonem5t1 & said x 0 f ! devil1 & t %e w\ld r break su* a cov5ant1 if %e _h to die = s do+1 ?an to live & be guilty ( do+ su* an act4 ,i f9ally conclud$ t ,i w\ld g2 t ,i w\ld />t by daybreak 9 ! morn+1 & try to get !re be=e an attack 0 made on ! company1 & use my influ5ce ) ! ,indians to let !m alone4 ,i cross$ ! m\nta9s by a trail1 & rea*$ ! ,mead[s betwe5 n9e & t5 9 ! morn+1 ! di/ance f my place be+ ab\t tw5ty-five miles4 ,b ,i 0 too late4 ,! attack _h be5 made j be=e daybreak 9 ! morn+1 ! ,indians repuls$1 ) "o kill$ & two ( _! *iefs f ,c$> ,city %ot ?r\gh ! legs1 break+ a leg = ea* ( !m4 ,! ,indians 7 9 a t]rible rage4 ,i w5t to "s ( !m t 7 9 a rav9e4 ,!y told me to g to ! ma9 body1 or !y w\ld kill me = n com+ be=e ! attack 0 made4 ,:ile ,i 0 /&+ !re ,i receiv$ a %ot j above ! belt1 cutt+ ?r\gh my clo!s to ! sk91 "s six in*es across4 ,! ,indians ) :om ,i 0 talk+ liv$ ) me at ,h>mony4 ,i 0 ,indian ,f>m]4 ,!y told me ,i 0 9 dang]1 & to get d[n into ! rav9e4 ,i said t x 0 impossible = me to d any?+ !re1 & ,i d>e n v5ture to ! camp ( ! emigrants )\t endang]+ my life4 ,i m\nt$ my horse & />t$ s\? to meet ,c>l ,s*urtz4 ,i travell$ sixte5 miles & /opp$ on ! ,megotsy to bait my animal1 z !re 0 good grass & wat]4 ,i _h rode ov] =ty miles )\t eat+ or dr9k+4 ,?is is ! place :]e ,mr4 ,tob9 met 8 assass9ators4 ,ab\t sunset ,i saw ,s*urtz & "s t5 or fifte5 :ite m5 & ab\t "o hundr$ & fifty ,indians4 ,we camp$4 ,dur+ ! night ! ,indians left = ! ,mead[s4 ,i report$ to ! m5 :at _h tak5 place4 ,!y attack$ ! emigrants aga91 ab\t sunrise ! next morn+1 :i* 0 ,tuesday1 & _h "o ( _! numb] kill$ & sev]al w\nd$4 ,i1 ) ! :ite m51 rea*$ ! ,mead[s ab\t "o o'clock p4m4 ,on ! way we met a small b& ( ,indians return+1 ) "s eighte5 or tw5ty head ( cattle4 ,"o ( ! ,indians 0 w\nd$ 9 ! %\ld]4 ,!y told me t ! ,indians 7 encamp$ ea/ ( ! emigrants1 at "s spr+s4 ,on our arrival at ! spr+s we f\nd "s two hundr$ ,indians1 among :om 7 ! two w\nd$ *iefs1 ,moqueetus & ,bill4 ,! ,indians 7 9 a high /ate ( excitem5t2 _h kill$ _m cattle & horses belong+ to ! company4 ,i c\nt$ sixty head ne> _! encampm5t1 t !y _h kill$ 9 rev5ge = ! w\nd+ ( _! m54 ,by ! assi/ance ( ,osc> ,hambl9 7bro!r ( ,jacob ,hambl97 & ,s*urtz1 we succe$$ 9 gett+ ! ,indians to desi/ f kill+ any m /ock t night4 ,! company ( emigrants _h corral$ all _! waggons b "o = bett] def5ce4 ,?is corral 0 ab\t "o hundr$ y>ds above ! spr+s4 ,?is !y did to get away f ! rav9e & f ! rocks on ! we/4 ,! attack 0 r5ew$ t night by ! ,indians1 9 spite ( all we c\ld d to prev5t x4 ,:5 ! attack comm5c$1 ,osc> ,hambl91 ,william ,"y1 & myself />t$ to g to ! ,indians4 ,:5 opposite ! corral1 on ! nor?1 ! bullets came ar\nd u l a %[] ( hail4 ,we _h two ,indians ) u to pilot u2 !y ?rew !mselves flat on ! gr\nd to protect !mselves f ! bullets4 ,i /ood erect & ask$ my ,fa!r 9 heav5 to protect me f ! missiles ( dea?1 & enable me to rea* ! ,indians4 ,"o ball pass$ ?r\gh my hat & ! hair ( my head1 & ano!r ?r\gh my %irt1 graz+ my arm ne> ! %\ld]4 ,a mo/ hide\s yell ( ! ,indians comm5c$4 ,! cries & %rieks ( ! wom5 & *ildr5 s ov]came me t ,i =got my dang] & ru%$ ?r\gh ! fire to ! ,indians1 & plead$ ) !m1 9 te>s1 to desi/4 ,i told !m t ! ,great ,_s w\ld be angry ) !m = kill+ wom5 & little *ildr54 ,!y told me to leave or !y w\ld s]ve me ! same way1 & t ,i 0 n _! fri5d1 b a fri5d ( _! enemies2 t ,i 0 a squaw1 & did n h ! he>t ( a brave1 & t ,i c\ld n see blood %$ )\t cry+ l a baby1 & call$ me cry-baby1 & by t "n ,i am kn[n by all ! ,indians to ?is day4 ,i owe my life on t occasion to ,osc> ,hambl91 :o 0 a mission>y ) ! ,indians1 & _h mu* influ5ce ) ! ,santa ,cl>a ,indians4 ,!y 7 ! ones t want$ to kill me4 ,hambl9 %am$ !m1 & call$ !m dogs & wolves = want+ to %$ ! blood ( _! fa!r 7myself71 :o _h f$ & clo!d !m4 ,we f9ally prevail$ on !m to return to camp1 :]e we w\ld hold a c\ncil2 t ,i w\ld s5d = big ,capta9s to come & talk4 ,we told !m t !y _h puni%$ ! emigrants en\gh1 & may be !y _h kill$ ne>ly all ( !m4 ,we told !m t ,bi%op ,dame & ,presid5t ,haight w\ld come1 & may be !y w\ld give !m "p ( ! cattle1 & let ! company g ) ! teams4 ,9 ?is way we reconcil$ !m to susp5d ho/ilities = ! pres5t4 ,! two t _h be5 ) ,hambl9 & myself ! night be=e said !y _h se5 two m5 on horseback come out ( ! emigrant's camp "u full spe$1 & t !y w5t t[>d ,c$> ,city4 ,w$nesday morn+ ,i ask$ a man--,i ?9k 8 "n 0 ,edw>ds--to g to ,c$> ,city & say to ,presid5t ,haight1 = ,god's sake1 = my sake1 & = ! sake ( suff]+ humanity1 to s5d out m5 to rescue t company4 ,?is day we all lay /ill1 wait+ ord]s4 ,occasionally a few ( ! ,indians )drew1 tak+ a few head ( animals ) !m4 ,ab\t noon ,i cross$ ! valley nor? ( ! corral1 ?9k+ to exam9e _! location f ! we/ range4 ,! company recogniz$ me z a :ite man1 & s5t two little boys1 ab\t f\r ye>s old1 to meet me4 ,i hid f !m1 fe>+ ! ,indians1 :o discov]$ ! *ildr54 ,i call$ ! ,indians1 :o want$ my gun or ammunition to kill !m4 ,i prevail$ ) !m to let ! *ildr5 g back to camp1 :i* !y v soon did :5 !y saw ! ,indians4 ,i crept up beh9d "s rock1 on ! we/ range1 :]e ,i _h a full view ( ! corral4 ,9 x !y _h dug a rifle-pit4 ,! :eels ( _! waggons 7 *a9$ toge!r1 & ! only *ance = ! ,indians 0 to />ve !m out1 or %oot !m z !y w5t = wat]4 ,i lay !re "s two h\rs1 & contemplat$ _! situation1 & wept l a *ild4 ,:5 ,i return$ to camp1 "s six or eight m5 _h come f ,c$> ,city4 ,joel ,:ite1 ,william ,c4 ,/ew>t1 & ,elliot ,c4 ,weldon1 7 among ! numb]1 b !y _h no ord]s4 ,!y _h come m]ely to see h[ ?+s 74 ,! ,mead[s are ab\t fifty miles f ,c$> ,city4 ,?ursday aft]noon ! mess5g] f ,c$> ,city return$4 ,he said t ,presid5t ,haight _h gone to ,p>[an to conf] ) ,col4 ,dame1 & a company ( m5 & ord]s w\ld be s5t on to-morr[ 7,friday72 t up to ! "t he _h left1 ! c\ncil _h come to no def9ite conclusion4 ,dur+ ?is "t ! ,indians & m5 7 engag$ 9 broil+ beef & mak+ up _! hides into lassos4 ,i _h flatt]$ myself t blood%$ 0 at an end4 ,aft] ! emigrants saw me cross ! valley1 !y hoi/$ a :ite flag 9 ! mid/ ( _! corral4 ,friday aft]noon f\r waggons drove up ) arm$ m54 ,:5 !y saw ! :ite flag 9 ! corral1 !y rais$ "o also1 b drove to ! spr+s :]e we 71 & took refre%m5t1 aft] :i* a c\ncil meet+ 0 call$ ( ,presid5ts1 ,bi%ops1 & o!r ,*ur* (fic]s & memb]s ( ! ,high ,c\ncil1 societies1 ,high ,prie/s1 c4 ,major ,john ,m4 ,higbee presid$ z *airman4 ,sev]al ( ! dignit>ies b[$ 9 pray]1 invok$ ! aid ( ! ,holy ,_s to prep>e _! m9ds1 & guide !m to d "r1 & c>ry out ! c\nsels ( _! lead]s4 ,higbee said t 8,presid5t ,j4 ,c4 ,haight _h be5 to ,p>[an to conf] ) ,col4 ,dame & _! c\nsel1 & ord]s 7 t1 ?is emigrant camp mu/ be us$ up40 ,i repli$1 8,m51 wom51 & *ildr580 8,all10 said he1 8except su* z are too "y to tell tales2 & if ! ,indians _c d x )\t help1 we mu/ help !m40 ,i comm5c$ plead+ = ! company1 & ,i said1 ?\gh "s ( !m h behav$ badly1 !y h be5 pretty well *a/is$4 ,my policy w\ld be to draw (f ! ,indians1 let !m h a portion ( ! loose cattle1 & )draw ) !m1 "u promise t !y w\ld n mole/ ! company any m2 t ! company w\ld !n h teams en\gh left to take !m to ,cali=nia4 ,i told !m t ?is c\rse c\ld n br+ !m into tr\ble4 ,higbee said1 8,:ite m5 h int]pos$1 & ! emigrants "k x1 & !re lies ! dang] 9 lett+ !m g40 ,i said1 8,:at :ite man int]f]$80 ,he repli$ t 9 ! attack on ,tuesday night two m5 broke out ( ! corral & />t$ = ,c$> ,city on horseback2 t !y 7 met at ,ri*ey's ,spr+ by ,/ew>t1 ,joel ,:ite1 & ano!r man1 ^: "n has pass$ f me4 ,/ew>t ask$ ! two m5 _! names :5 !y met at ! spr+1 & be+ told 9 reply by "o ( ! m5 t 8 "n 0 ,ad51 & t ! o!r 0 a ,dut*man f ! emigrant's company1 ,/ew>t %ov$ a pi/ol to ,ad5's brea/1 & kill$ him1 say+1 8,take t1 ---- y40 ,! o!r man 7! ,dut*man7 :eel$ to leave z ,joel ,:ite fir$ & w\nd$ him4 ,i ask$ him h[ he knew ! w\nd$ ,dut*man got back to ! emigrants' camp4 ,he said because he 0 track$ back1 & !y knew he 0 !re4 ,i aga9 said t x 0 bett] to deliv] ! man to !m1 & let !m d any?+ !y wi%$ ) !m1 & tell !m t we did n approve su* ?+s4 ,ira ,all51 high c\ncillor1 & ,rob]t ,wiley1 & o!rs1 spoke1 reprov+ me %>ply = try+ to dictate to ! prie/hood2 t x w\ld set at naught all au?ority2 t he w\ld n give ! life ( "o ( our bre?r5 = a ?\s& su* p]sons4 8,if we let !m g10 he cont9u$1 8!y w raise hell 9 ,cali=nia1 & ! result w be t our wives & *ildr5 w h to be but*]$1 & ourselves too1 & !y are no bett] to die ?an ours1 & ,i am surpris$ to he> ,bro!r ,lee talk z he does1 z he1 :o has always be5 consid]$ "o ( ! /aun*e/ 9 ! ,*ur*1 n[ is ! fir/ to %irk f 8 duty40 ,i said1 8,bre?r51 ! ,"l mu/ h>d5 my he>t be=e ,i c d su* a ?+40 ,all5 said1 8,x is n wick$ to obey c\nsel40 ,at ?is juncture ,i )drew1 walk$ (f "s fifty paces1 & pro/rat$ myself on ! gr\nd & wept 9 ! bitt] angui% ( my s\l1 & ask$ ! ,"l to av]t t evil4 ,:ile 9 t situation ,c\ncillor ,c4 ,hopk9s1 a ne> fri5d ( m9e1 came to me & said1 8,bro!r ,lee1 come1 get up1 & don't draw (f f ! prie/hood4 ,y ought n to d s4 ,y are only endang]+ y\r own life by /&+ out4 ,y c't help x1 if ?is is wrong2 ! blame won't re/ on y40 ,i said1 8,*>ley1 ?is is ! wor/ move ?is p ev] made2 ,i feel x40 ,he said1 8,come1 g back1 & let !m h _! way40 ,i w5t back1 weep+ l a *ild1 & took my place1 & tri$ to be sil5t1 & 0 until ,higbee said1 !y 7! emigrants7 mu/ be decoy$ out ?r\gh pret5d$ fri5d%ip4 ,i c\ld no long] hold my peace1 & said ,i1 8,joseph ,smi? said t ,god hat$ a traitor1 & s d ,i3 be=e ,i w\ld be a traitor1 ,i w\ld r take t5 m51 & g to t camp & tell !m !y mu/ die1 & n[ to def5d !mselves1 & give !m a %[ = _! lives2 t w\ld be m hon\rable ?an to betray !m l ,judas40 ,"h ,i got ano!r repro(1 & 0 ord]$ to hold my peace4 ,! plan agre$ ^u !re 0 to meet !m ) a flag ( truce1 tell !m t ! ,indians 7 det]m9$ on _! de/ruction2 t we d>e n oppose ! ,indians1 = we 7 at _! m]cy2 t ! be/ we c\ld d = !m 7! emigrants7 0 to get !m & :at few traps we c\ld take 9 ! waggons1 to lay _! arms 9 ! bottom ( ! waggon & cov] !m up ) b$-clo!s1 & />t = ! settlem5t z soon z possible1 & to tru/ !mselves 9 our h&s4 ,! small *ildr5 & w\nd$ 7 to g ) ! two waggons1 ! wom5 to foll[ ! waggons1 & ! m5 next1 ! troops to /& 9 read9ess on ! ea/ side ( ! road ready to receive !m4 ,s*urtz & ,nephi ,johnson 7 to conceal ! ,indians 9 ! bru% & rocks till ! company 0 /rung out on ! road to a c]ta9 po9t1 & at ! wat*word1 8,halt2 d y\r duty60 ea* man 0 to cov] 8 victim & fire4 ,johnson & ,s*urtz 7 to rally ! ,indians1 & ru% ^u & despat* ! wom5 & l>g] *ildr54 ,x 0 fur!r told ! m5 t ,presid5t ,haight said1 if we 7 unit$ 9 c>ry+ out ! in/ructions1 we w\ld all receive 8cele/ial rew>d40 ,i said ,i 0 will+ to put up ) a less rew>d if ,i c\ld be excus$4 8,h[ c y d ?is )\t %$d+ innoc5t blood80 ,"h ,i got ano!r lampoon+ = my /ubbornness & disob$i5ce to ! prie/hood4 ,i 0 told t !re 0 n a drop ( innoc5t blood 9 ! :ole company ( emigrants4 ,also ref]r$ to ! ,g5tile nations :o refus$ ! *ildr5 ( ,israel passage ?r\gh _! c\ntry :5 ,moses l$ !m out ( ,egypt--t ! ,"l held t crime aga9/ !m1 & :5 ,israel wax$ /rong ! ,"l comm&$ ,jo%ua to slay ! :ole nation1 m51 wom51 & *ildr54 8,h n ^! p done worse ?an t to u8 ,h !y n ?reat5$ to murd] our lead]s & prophets1 & h !y n boa/$ ( murd]+ our patri>*s & prophets1 ,joseph & ,hyrum8 ,n[ talk ab\t %$d+ innoc5t blood40 ,!y said ,i 0 a good1 lib]al1 free-he>t$ man1 b too mu* ( ?is sympa?y w\ld be always 9 ! way2 t e man n[ _h to %[ 8 col\rs2 t x 0 n safe to h a ,judas 9 camp4 ,!n x 0 propos$ t e man express himself2 t if !re 0 a man :o w\ld n keep a close m\?1 !y want$ to "k x !n4 ,?is gave me to und]/& :at ,i might expect if ,i cont9u$ to oppose4 ,major ,higbee said1 8,bro!r ,lee is "r4 ,let him take an expression ( ! p40 ,i knew ,i d>$ n refuse2 s ,i _h e man speak & express himself4 ,all said !y 7 will+ to c>ry out ! c\nsel ( _! lead]s2 t ! lead]s _h ! _s ( ,god1 & knew bett] :at 0 "r ?an !y did4 ,!y !n want$ to "k my feel+s4 ,i repli$1 ,i h already express$ !m4 ,e eye 0 ^u me z ,i paus$2 8b10 said ,i1 8y c d z y please2 ,i w n oppose y any long]40 8,w y keep a close m\?80 0 ! "q4 8,i w try10 0 my answ]4 ,i w "h say t ! fe> ( (f5d+ ,brigham ,"y & ,george ,a4 ,smi? _h sav$ my life4 ,i 0 ne> be+ 8blood-aton$0 9 ,p>[an1 "u ,j4 ,c4 ,l4 ,smi?1 9 #ahed1 b on ?is ,i h spok5 9 my autobiography4 ,saturday morn+ all 0 ready1 & e man assign$ to 8 po/ ( duty4 ,dur+ ! night1 or r j be=e daylight1 ,johnson & ,s*urtz ambu%$ _! ,indians1 ! bett] to deceive ! emigrants4 ,ab\t #aa o'clock a4m4 ! troops "u ,major ,higbee took _! position on ! road4 ,! :ite flag 0 /ill kept up 9 ! corral4 ,higbee call$ ,william ,bateman out ( ! ranks to take a flag ( truce to ! corral4 ,he 0 met ab\t half way ) ano!r :ite flag f ! emigrants' camp4 ,!y _h a talk4 ,! emigrant 0 told we _h come to rescue !m if !y w\ld tru/ u4 ,bo? m5 ) flags return$ to _! respective places & report$1 & 7 to meet aga9 & br+ ^w4 ,higbee call$ me out to g & in=m !m ! conditions1 & if accept$1 ,dan ,mc,farland1 bro!r to ,john ,mc,farland1 lawy]1 :o act$ z aid-de-camp1 w\ld br+ back ^w1 & !n ! waggons w\ld be s5t = ! fire>ms1 *ildr51 clo?+1 etc4 ,i obey$1 & ! t]ms propos$ 7 accept$1 b n )\t di/ru/4 ,i _h z little to say z possible2 9 fact1 my tongue refus$ to p]=m its (fice4 ,i sat d[n on ! gr\nd 9 ! corral1 ne> :]e "s "y m5 7 engag$ 9 pay+ _! la/ respects to "s p]son :o _h j di$ ( a w\nd4 ,a l>ge fle%y old lady came to me twice1 & talk$ :ile ,i sat !re4 ,%e relat$ _! tr\bles2 said t sev5 ( _! numb] 7 kill$1 & =ty-sev5 w\nd$ on ! fir/ attack2 t sev]al _h di$ s9ce4 ,%e ask$ me if ,i 7 an ,indian ag5t4 ,i said1 8,9 "o s5se ,i am1 z ,gov]nm5t has appo9t$ me f>m] to ! ,indians40 ,i told h] ?is to satisfy h]4 ,i he>d aft]w>ds t ! same "q 0 ask$ & answ]$ 9 ! same mann] by ,mc,farland1 :o _h be5 s5t by ,higbee to ! corral to 8hurry me up1 = fe> t ! ,indians w\ld come back & be ^u !m40 ,:5 all 0 ready1 ,samuel ,mc,murdy1 c\nsel to ,bi%op ,p4 ,k4 ,smi? 7,kl+5smi?71 drove out on ! lead4 ,8 waggon _h ! sev5te5 *ildr51 clo?+1 & arms4 ,samuel ,knight drove ! o!r team1 ) five w\nd$ m5 & "o boy ab\t fifte5 ye>s old4 ,i walk$ beh9d ! front waggon to direct ! c\rse1 & to %un be+ 9 ! heat ( ! slaught]2 b ?is ,i kept to myself4 ,:5 we got turn$ fairly to ! ea/1 ,i motion$ to ,mc,murdy to /e] nor?1 across ! valley4 ,i1 at ! same "t1 told ! wom51 :o 7 next to ! waggon1 to foll[ ! road up to ! troop1 :i* !y did4 ,in/ead ( say+ to ,mc,murdy n to drive s fa/ 7z he swore on my trial71 ,i said to ! contr>y1 to drive on1 z my aim 0 to get out ( sight be=e ! fir+ comm5c$1 :i* we did4 ,we 7 ab\t half a mile ahead ( ! company :5 we he>d ! fir/ fir+4 ,we drove ov] a ridge ( roll+ gr\nd1 & d[n on a l[ flat4 ,! fir+ 0 simultane\s along ! :ole l9e4 ,! mom5t ! fir+ comm5c$ ,mc,murdy halt$ & ti$ 8 l9es across ! rod ( ! waggon-box1 /epp$ d[n coolly ) d\ble-b>rell$ %ot-gun1 walk$ back to ,knight's waggon1 :o _h ! w\nd$ m51 & 0 ab\t tw5ty feet 9 ! re>4 ,z he rais$ 8 piece1 he said1 8,"l1 my ,god1 receive _! spirits1 = x is = ! k+dom ( heav5's sake t we d ?is10 fir$ & kill$ two m54 ,samuel ,knight _h a muzzle-load+ rifle1 & he %ot & kill$ ! ?ree m51 !n /ruck ! w\nd$ boy on ! head1 :o fell dead4 ,9 ! meantime ,i drew a five-%oot] f my belt1 :i* accid5tally w5t (f1 cutt+ across ,mc,murdy's busk9 pantaloons 9 front1 bel[ ! crot*4 ,mc,murdy said1 8,bro!r ,lee1 y are excit$2 take ?+s cool2 y 0 ne> kill9' me4 ,look :]e ! bullet cut10 po9t+ to ! place 9 8 pantaloons4 ,at ?is mom5t ,i he>d ! scream ( a *ild4 ,i look$ up & saw an ,indian h a little boy by ! hair ( 8 head1 dragg+ him out ( ! h9d end ( ! waggon1 ) a knife 9 8 h&1 gett+ ready to cut 8 ?roat4 ,i sprang = ! ,indian ) my revolv] 9 h&1 & %\t$ to ! top ( my voice1 8,arick1 oomo1 cot too sooet0 7/op1 y fool674 ,! *ild 0 t]ror-/rick54 ,8 *9 0 ble$+4 ,i suppos$ x 0 ! cut ( a knife1 b aft]w>ds le>n$ t x 0 done on ! waggon-box1 z ! ,indian yank$ ! boy d[n by ! hair ( ! head4 ,i _h no soon] rescu$ ?is *ild ?an ano!r ,indian seiz$ a little girl by ! hair4 ,i rescu$ h] z soon z ,i c\ld speak2 ,i told ! ,indians t !y mu/ n hurt ! *ildr5--t ,i w\ld die be=e !y %\ld be hurt2 t we w\ld buy ! *ildr5 ( !m4 ,be=e ?is "t ! ,indians _h ru%$ ar\nd ! waggon 9 que/ ( blood1 & despat*$ ! two runaway w\nd$ m54 ,9 ju/ice to my /atem5t ,i w\ld say t if my %oot] _h n prematurely explod$1 ,i w\ld h _h a h& 9 despat*+ ! five w\nd$4 ,i _h lo/ control ( myself1 & sc>ce knew :at ,i 0 ab\t4 ,i saw an ,indian pursue a little girl :o 0 flee+4 ,he caught h] ab\t "o hundr$ feet f ! waggon1 & plung$ 8 knife ?r\gh h]4 ,i said to ,mc,murdy t he _h bett] drive ! *ildr5 to ,hambl9's ran*1 & give !m "s n\ri%m5t1 :ile ,i w\ld g d[n & get my horse at ! camp4 ,pass+ along ! road ,i saw ! dead /rung along ! di/ance ( ab\t half a mile4 ,! wom5 & *ildr5 7 kill$ by ! ,indians4 ,i saw ,s*urtz ) ! ,indians1 & no o!r :ite man ) !m4 ,:5 ,i came to ! m51 !y lay ab\t a rod ap>t4 ,"h ,i came up ) ,higbee1 ,bi%op ,smi?1 & ! re/ ( ! company4 ,z ,i came up1 ,higbee said to me1 8,let u se>* ^! p]sons = valuables10 & ask$ me to assi/ him2 gave me a hat to hold4 ,sev]al m5 7 already engag$ 9 se>*+ ! bodies4 ,i repli$ t ,i 0 unwell1 & want$ to get ^u my horse & g to ! ran* & nurse myself4 ,my reque/ 0 grant$4 ,rea*+ ,hambl9's ran*--be+ he>tsick & worn out--,i lay d[n on my saddle-blanket & slept1 & knew b little ( :at pass$ dur+ ! night4 ,ab\t daybreak 9 ! morn+1 ,i he>d ! voices ( ,col4 ,dame & ,isaac ,c4 ,haight4 ,i he>d "s v angry words pass betwe5 !m1 :i* drew my att5tion4 ,dame said he w\ld h to report ! de/ruction ( ! emigrant camp & company4 ,haight said1 8,h[1 z an ,indian massacre80 ,dame said he did n "k s well ab\t t4 ,?is reply seem$ to irritate ,haight1 :o spoke q l\dly1 say+1 8,h[ ! ---- c y report x any o!r way )\t implicat+ y\rself80 ,at ?is ,dame l[]$ 8 voice almo/ to a :isp]2 ,i c\ld n und]/& :at he said1 & ! conv]sation /opp$4 ,i got up1 saw ! *ildr51 & among ! o!rs ! boy :o 0 pull$ by ! hair ( 8 head out ( ! waggon by ! ,indian & sav$ by me2 t boy ,i took home & kept until ,dr4 ,=ney1 ,gov]nm5t ag5t1 came to ga!r up ! *ildr5 & take !m ,ea/2 he took ! boy ) ! o!rs2 t boy's "n 0 ,william ,fan*]2 8 fa!r 0 capta9 ( ! tra92 he 0 tak5 ,ea/ & adopt$ by a man 9 ,nebraska1 nam$ ,ri*>d ,sloan2 he rema9$ ,ea/ sev]al ye>s1 & !n return$ to ,utah1 & is n[ a convict 9 ! ,utah ,p5it5ti>y1 hav+ be5 convict$ ! pa/ ye> = ! crime ( highway robb]y4 ,he is n[ kn[n by ! "n ( 8,idaho ,bill10 b 8 true "n is ,william ,fan*]4 ,8 little si/] 0 also tak5 ,ea/1 & is n[ ! wife ( a man work+ = ! ,union ,pacific ,railroad ,company1 ne> ,gre5 ,riv]4 ,! boy 7n[ man7 has yet got ! sc> on 8 *9 caus$ by ! cut on ! waggon-box1 & ^? :o are curi\s en\gh to exam9e w f9d a l>ge sc> on ! ball ( 8 left foot1 caus$ by a deep cut made by an axe :ile he 0 ) me4 ,i got breakfa/ t morn+4 ,!n all h&s return$ to ! sc5e ( ! slaught] to bury ! dead4 ,! bodies 7 all 9 a nude /ate4 ,! ,indians1 ?r\gh ! night1 _h /ripp$ !m ( e ve/ige ( clo?+4 ,_m ( ! p>ties 7 laugh+ & talk+ z !y c>ri$ ! bodies to ! rav9e = burial4 ,!y 7 j cov]$ ov] a little1 b did n long rema9 s2 = ! wolves dug !m up1 &1 aft] eat+ ! fle% f !m1 ! bones laid ^u ! gr\nd until buri$1 "s "t aft]1 by a ,gov]nm5t milit>y (fic]4 ,at ! "t ( bury+ ! bodies ,dame & ,haight got into ano!r qu>rel4 ,dame seem$ to be t]ror-/rick51 & aga9 said he w\ld h to publi% x4 ,!y 7 ab\t two paces f me4 ,dame spoke l[1 z if c>eful to avoid be+ he>d4 ,haight spoke l\d1 & said1 8,y "k t y c\nsell$ x1 & ord]$ me to h !m us$ up40 ,dame said1 8,i did n ?9k t !re 7 s _m wom5 & *ildr54 ,i ?\ght !y 7 ne>ly all kill$ by ! ,indians40 ,haight said1 8,x is too late 9 ! day = y to back wat]4 ,y "k y ord]$ & c\nsell$ x1 & n[ y want to back out40 ,dame said1 8,h y ! pap]s = t80 or 8,%[ ! pap]s = t40 ,?is enrag$ ,haight to ! highe/ pit*1 & ,dame walk$ (f4 ,haight said1 8,y ?r[ ! blame ( ?is ?+ on me1 & ,i w be rev5g$ ^u y1 if ,i h to meet y 9 hell to get x40 ,f ?is place we rode to ! waggons2 we f\nd !m /ripp$ ( _! cov]s & e p>ticle ( clo?+1 ev5 ! fea!r b$s _h be5 ripp$ op5 & ! cont5ts turn$ ^u ! gr\nd1 look+ = plund]4 ,i cross$ ! m\nta9s by an ,indian trail1 tak+ my little ,indian boy ) me on my horse4 ,! ga!r+ up ( ! prop]ty & cattle 0 left 9 ! *>ge ( ,bi%op ,p4 ,k4 ,smi?4 ,! te/imony ( ,smi? 9 reg>d to ! prop]ty & ! disposition ( x 0 v ne>ly correct4 ,i mu/ n =get to /ate1 t aft] ! attack a mess5g] by ! "n ( ,james ,haslem 0 s5t ) a despat* to ,presid5t ,brigham ,"y1 ask+ 8 advice ab\t int]f]+ ) ! company1 b he did n return 9 "t4 ,?is ,i _h no k ( until ! massacre 0 committ$4 ,"s two weeks aft] ! de$ 0 done1 ,isaac ,c4 ,haight s5t me to report to ,gov]nor ,"y 9 p]son4 ,i ask$ him :y he did n s5d a writt5 report4 ,he repli$ t ,i c\ld tell him m satisfactorily ?an he c\ld write1 & if ,i w\ld /& up & %\ld] z mu* ( ! responsibility z ,i c\ld conv5i5tly1 t x w\ld be a fea!r 9 my cap "s day1 & t ,i w\ld get a cele/ial salvation1 b t ! man :o %rank f x n[ w\ld g to hell4 ,i w5t & did z ,i 0 comm&$4 ,brigham ask$ me if ,isaac ,c4 ,haight _h writt5 a lett] to him4 ,i repli$1 n by me1 b ,i said he wi%$ me to report 9 p]son4 8,all "r10 said ,brigham2 87 y an eye-witness80 8,to ! mo/ ( x10 0 my reply4 ,!n ,i proce$$ & gave him a full hi/ory ( all except t ( my opposition4 ,t ,i left out entirely4 ,i told him ( ! kill+ ( ! wom5 & *ildr51 & ! betray+ ( ! company4 ,t1 ,i told him1 ,i 0 oppos$ to1 b ,i did n say to him to :at ext5t ,i 0 oppos$ to x1 only t ,i 0 oppos$ to %$d+ innoc5t blood4 8,:y10 said he1 8y diff] f ,isaac 7,haight71 = he said !re 0 n a drop ( innoc5t blood 9 ! :ole company40 ,:5 ,i 0 ?r\gh1 he said t x 0 awful2 t he c>$ no?+ ab\t ! m51 b ! wom5 & *ildr5 0 :at tr\bl$ him4 ,i said1 8,presid5t ,"y1 y %\ld ei!r release m5 f _! obligation or su/a9 !m :5 !y d :at !y h ent]$ into ! mo/ sacr$ obligations to d40 ,he repli$1 8,i w ?9k ov] ! matt]1 & make x a subject ( pray]1 & y may come back 9 ! morn+ & see me40 ,i did s1 & he said1 8,john1 ,i feel fir/-rate2 ,i ask$ ! ,"l if x 0 all "r = t de$ to be done1 to take away ! vision ( ! de$ f my m9d1 & ! ,"l did s1 & ,i feel fir/-rate4 ,x is all "r4 ,! only fe> ,i h is ( traitors40 ,he told me nev] to lisp x to any mortal be+1 n ev5 to ,bro!r ,heb]4 ,presid5t ,"y has always treat$ me ) ! fri5d%ip ( a fa!r s9ce1 & has seal$ sev]al wom5 to me s9ce1 & has made my h\se 8 home :5 9 t "p ( ! t]ritory1 until dang] has ?reat5$ him4 ,?is is a true /atem5t accord+ to ! be/ ( my recollection4 ,,john ,d4 ,,lee4 ,,kill+ ,a ,,rival ,,prophet4 ,en\gh has be5 already writt5 to satisfy all ) :om facts h any weight t ! ,mormonism :i* claims 9 ,europe to be 8( ,*ri/10 is 9 ,utah a despotism ( ! h>%e/ "*1 alli$ to falsehood1 murd]1 & ! wor/ ( crimes t degrade human nature4 ,& "h w\ld ,i re/ my p52 b x seems t "o o!r episode 9 ,utah life %\ld /ill be add$1 %[+ z x does ! intol]ance ( ! rul+ ,mormon ,prie/hood :5 _! own sway is *all5g$4 ,?irty-five miles nor? ( ,salt ,lake ,city--a %ort di/ance f :]e ! ,union ,pacific deb\*es f ,web] ,canyon--a ,wel*man nam$ ,joseph ,morris _h f\nd eag] li/5]s to new revelations4 ,! ,bi%op ( ,k+ton ,=t1 ,ri*>d ,cook1 =m]ly a not$ ,mission>y 9 ,man*e/]1 ,engl&1 & a numb] ( intellig5t m5 & wom51 receiv$ gladly ! new prophet :o _h be5 rais$ up by 8! ,"l0 to 8deliv] ,israel f bondage40 ,num]\s believ]s 9 a v %ort "t ga!r$ f v>i\s p>ts ( ! t]ritory1 & ,k+ton =t1 on ! ,web]1 became an important place4 ,morris ab\nd$ ) revelations4 ,8 8gifts0 exce$$ 9 pr(usion ^? ( all :o _h ev] gone be=e him4 ,! f\nd] ( ,mormonism 0 no?+ 9 comp>ison ) 8 disciple f ,wales4 ,! adh]5ts ( ! new prophet 7 p]fectly ov]joy$ at ! abundance ( light t n[ %one ^u _! pa?1 & "s v intellig5t m5 ga!r$ to ! ,web]4 ,?ree ,engli% & ?ree ,dani% cl]ks 7 daily employ$ 9 writ+ ! heav5ly communications f ! m\? ( ! new prophet4 ,brigham _h be5 b>r5--,morris 0 ov]fl[+4 ,! new disciples 8consecrat$0 all !y possess$ to a common fund4 ,*ri/ 0 se5 to desc5d among !m1 & _! wants w\ld only be ( %ort duration4 ,z 8! ,"l0 t>ri$1 ! en?usiasm ( "s ( ! conv]ts cool$1 & "h began ! difficulty ) ! new prophet4 ,x became a "q h[ mu* ( _! prop]ty !y c\ld reclaim4 ,x _h all be5 8consecrat$40 ,! lead+ m5 ( ! sect decid$ to let !m peacefully retire2 b x 0 expect$ t !y w\ld hone/ly meet _! accru$ %>e ( ! obligations ( ! little colony4 ,"s ( !m prov$ di%one/1 & attempt$ to take away bett] cattle ?an !y _h br\ght1 & !y refus$ to make all[ance = ! support !y _h d]iv$ f ! prop]ty ( o!rs4 ,a feud arose1 ! diss5t]s appli$ to ! ,mormon ,c\rts1 & ! latt] 7 pleas$ ) ! opportunity af=d$4 ,writs 7 issu$1 s]v$ & repuls$4 ,! diss5t]s wait$ = ! *ance ( seiz+ ! moveable prop]ty ( ! colony1 & z :eat 0 s5t to mill !y p\nc$ ^u x1 & took teams & waggons z well4 ,on "o occasion ! ,morrisites arose e>ly 9 ! morn+1 & spread !mselves ov] ! c\ntry1 keep+ )9 view ( ! advanc+ teams4 ,z ! diss5t] & two o!rs p\nc$ ^u ! convoy ! second "t1 up sprang ! ,morrisites f places ( concealm5t1 & took !m prison]s4 ,!y 7 tak5 to ,k+ton ,=t & imprison$4 ,! fri5ds ( ! captur$ m5 s\ght _! release ineffectually1 = ! ,%]iff 9 t c\ntry c\ld d no?+4 ,"o or two ( ! wives ( ! prison]s w5t to ,brigham1 b he refus$ to int]f]e4 ,he 0 too %rewd to m$dle directly 9 ! affair4 ,ju/ice ,k9ney 0 next visit$4 ,z judge ( t judicial di/rict a petition 0 fil$ be=e him1 sett+ =? t ^! m5 7 kept 9 close conf9em5t & heavily iron$ by ord] ( ,joseph ,morris1 ,john ,banks1 & ,ri*>d ,cook4 ,on ! #bd? ( ,may1 #ahfb1 a writ ( habeas corpus 0 issu$ to ! ,t]ritorial ,m>%al1 & by 8 deputy s]v$1 b no att5tion 0 paid to x4 ,on ! #aa? ( ,june a second writ 0 issu$ & 0 also disreg>d$4 ,k9ney 0 int5sely indignant1 & insi/$ ^u ! militia be+ call$ out z a posse comitatus to accompany ! ,t]ritorial ,m>%al4 ,act+ ,gov]nor ,full] issu$ ! necess>y ord]4 ,! ,morrisites _h be5 w>n$ by ! 8,"l0 t ! 8,brighamites0 7 plott+ _! de/ruction1 & accord+ly pur*as$ all ! rifles & ammunition possible4 ,e>ly on ! morn+ ( ! #ac? ( ,june an arm$ posse 7 se5 on ,s\? ,m\nta9 ov]look+ ! ,morrisite community1 & ! foll[+ proclamation 0 s5t to ! ,morrisites by "o ( _! h]d-boys3 ,head-qu>t]s1 ,m>%al's ,posse1 ,web] ,riv]1 ,june #ac1 #ahfb4 ,to ,joseph ,morris1 ,john ,banks1 ,ri*>d ,cook1 ,john ,p>sons1 & ,pet] ,klemg>d3 ,:]eas y h h]et(ore disreg>d$ & defi$ ! judicial (fic]s & laws ( ! ,t]ritory ( ,utah3 & :]eas c]ta9 writs h be5 issu$ = y f ! ,?ird ,judicial ,di/rict ,c\rt ( said ,t]ritory1 & a suffici5t =ce furni%$ by ! executive ( ! same to en=ce ! laws4 ,?is is !re=e to notify y to peaceably & quietly surr5d] y\rselves & ! prison]s 9 y\r cu/ody =?)4 ,an answ] is requir$ 9 ?irty m9utes aft] ! receipt ( ?is docum5t2 if n1 =cible measures w be tak5 = y\r arre/4 ,%\ld y disreg>d ?is proposition & place y\r lives 9 jeop>dy1 y are h]eby requir$ to remove y\r wom5 & *ildr53 & all p]sons peaceably dispos$ are h]eby notifi$ to =?) leave y\r encampm5t1 & are in=m$ t !y c f9d protection ) ?is posse4 ,h4 ,w4 ,,lawr5ce1 ,t]ritorial ,m>%al4 ,p] ,r4 ,t4 ,burton & ,!odore ,mc,kean1 deputies4 ,a g5tleman :o 0 !n 9 ! ,morrisites camp has furni%$ ! au?or ) ! foll[+ /atem5t3--,morris1 a firm believ] 9 ! revelations he receiv$1 rem>k$1 9 answ] to ! inquiry 8,:at %all be done80 t he w\ld 8g & inquire ( ! ,"l40 ,he 0 soon he>d 9 solemn & e>ne/ pray]4 ,9 ! meantime ^w 0 s5t r\nd ! camp = ! p to at once assemble 9 meet+ & consult on ! "q4 ,wom5 & *ildr5 came toge!r hurri$ly1 yet !re 0 no excitem5t1 & soon ! ,b[]y 0 well fill$4 ,morris 0 se5 to come out f 8 dwell+ ) a pap] 9 8 h&4 ,?is pap] prov$ to be a writt5 revelation4 ,8 c\ncil 7 await+ him4 ,! revelation 0 read to ! c\ncil1 & a peculi> docum5t x 04 ,x purport$ to be f ,god1 :o 0 repres5t$ z be+ pleas$ ) 8 fai?ful p !re1 & z hav+ br\ght ! posse aga9/ !m to %[ 8 own p[] 9 ! complete de/ruction ( _! enemies4 ,x also promis$ t n[ ! triumph ( 8 p %\ld come4 ,_! enemies %\ld be smitt5 be=e !m1 b t n "o ( 8 fai?ful p %\ld be de/roy$--t 8n a hair ( _! heads %\ld be h>m$40 ,! c\ncil at once /epp$ out into ! ,b[]y1 close to :i* liv$ all ! lead+ m51 &1 to save "t1 s++ 0 omitt$1 & ! meet+ 0 op5$ briefly by pray]4 ,john ,p>sons 7previ\sly a not$ ,mormon prea*] 9 ,london71 9 8 cle> sonor\s voice1 !n read ! revelation4 ,r4 ,cook arose to consult ) ! p z to :i* %\ld be obey$--! proclamation dem&+ ! surr5d] ( ! prison]s held 9 cu/ody ( ,pet] ,klemg>d1 & f\r ( ! lead+ m5 ( ! ,*ur*1 or ! revelation =bidd+ ! surr5d] ( ^! m54 ,be=e ! p _h a *ance to speak or vote1 or d any?+ at all 9 ! matt]1 ! boom+ s\nd ( a cannon 0 he>d1 & screams arose f ! ?ird seat f ! /& 9 ! ,b[]y1 & in/antly two wom5 7 se5 dead 9 ! congregation1 & ! l[] jaw1 hang+ only by a small /rip ( sk91 0 %ot (f a "y girl ( f twelve to fifte5 ye>s ( age4 ,x 0 ! fe>ful & he>t-r5d+ screams ( ?is girl t /opp$ ! meet+4 ,! p arose 9 utt] confusion4 ,cook1 /ill on 8 feet1 sugge/$ to all to g at once to _! homes1 & t ea* man %\ld take c>e ( 8 own family z be/ he c\ld4 ,nev] 0 a revelation m imm$iately falsifi$1 = sc>cely _h ! promise ( absolute safety be5 made ?an sudd5 de/ruction came4 ,panic-/rick5 m5 & wom5 ru%$ hi!r & ?i!r1 "s seek+ safety 9 cell>s1 "s 9 potato-pits2 9 %ort1 any:]e or 9 any place 9 :i* security c\ld be ei!r reasonably or unreasonably hop$ =4 ,! fir/ %ot 0 9 a few m9utes foll[$ by ano!r & /ill ano!r1 & ! attack 0 cont9u$4 ,! posse drew ne>] & ne>]1 & ! fir+ 0 kept up incessantly bo? ) cannon & musketry4 ,_h ,burton or ,mc,kean _h ! pluck ( a common con/able1 !y c\ld h gone safely into ! =t1 s]v$ ! summons1 & sav$ all effusion ( blood4 ,!re 0 n a ,morrisite 9 ! =t t 0 arm$ or ?\ght ( arm+4 ,!y met to consid] ! "q1 & to pray ov] x4 ,ab\t an h\r & a half aft] ! fir+ comm5c$ !y got _! arms & effect$ an organization1 & a regul> def5ce 0 made4 ,aft] fight+ ?ree days !y rais$ ! :ite flag1 & ceas$ fir+4 ,cauti\sly ,burton & 8 aids1 ) a numb] ( m51 ent]$ into ! camp1 & !n transpir$ a bloody sc5e1 conc]n+ :i* ! foll[+ affidavit has be5 made3 ,unit$ ,/ates ( ,am]ica1 ,t]ritory ( ,utah1 ,s4,s4 ,alex&] ,d[1 ( said t]ritory1 be+ duly sworn1 says3 8,9 ! spr+ ( #ahfa ,i jo9$ ! ,morrisites1 & 0 pres5t :5 ,joseph ,morris 0 kill$4 ,! ,morrisites _h surr5d]$1 a :ite flag 0 fly+1 & ! arms 7 all gr\nd$ & gu>d$ by a l>ge numb] ( ! posse4 ,rob]t ,t4 ,burton & ,judson ,l4 ,/odd>d rode 9 among ! ,morrisites4 ,burton 0 excit$4 ,he said1 8,:]e is ! man8 ,i don't "k him40 ,/odd>d repli$1 8,t's him10 po9t+ to ,morris4 ,b>ton rode 8 horse ^u ,morris1 & comm&$ him to give himself up 9 ! "n ( ! ,"l4 ,morris repli$1 8,no1 nev]1 nev]60 ,morris said he want$ to speak to ! p4 ,burton said1 8,be d--d quick ab\t x40 ,morris said1 8,bre?r51 ,i've taught y true pr9ciples40 ,he _h sc>cely got ! words out ( 8 m\? be=e ,burton fir$ 8 revolv]4 ,! ball pass$ 9 8 neck or %\ld]4 ,burton exclaim$1 8,!re's y\r prophet40 ,he fir$ aga91 say+1 8,:at d y ?9k ( y\r prophet n[80 ,he !n turn$ sudd5ly & %ot ,banks1 :o 0 /&+ five or six paces di/ant4 ,banks fell4 ,mrs4 ,b[man1 wife ( ,james ,b[man1 came runn+ up cry+1 8,oh1 y blood?ir/y wret*60 ,burton said1 8,no "o %all tell me t & live10 & %ot h] dead4 ,a ,dani% woman !n came runn+ up to ,morris1 cry+1 & ,burton %ot h] dead also4 ,burton c\ld easily h tak5 ,morris & ,banks prison]s1 if he _h tri$4 ,i 0 /&+ b a few feet f ,burton all ?is "t4 ,& fur!r sai? n4 ,,alex&] ,,d[4 ,subscrib$ & sworn be=e me1 ?is #ah? day ( ,april1 ,a4,d4 #ahfc4 ,,*>les ,b4 ,,waite1 ,associate ,ju/ice1 ,u4,t4 ,9 ! fight two ( ! ,m>%al's posse 7 kill$1 & six ( ! ,morrisites1 & ?ree ( ! latt] 7 w\nd$4 ,only "o 9 ! ,morrisite camp 0 kill$ by rifle-ball4 ,x 0 ! cannon at long range t did ! damage4 ,! fir/ %ot kill$ two wom5 z be=e /at$1 & w\nd$ a girl2 ano!r cannon-ball kill$ a woman & h] *ild 9 ! 8wickiup40 ,! "m-9-law ( ! new prophet 0 also kill$ 9 h] 8wickiup40 ,a little infant _h two n>r[ escapes4 ,! fir/ %ot kill$ its "m1 ,mrs4 ,m>%1 :ile x 0 9 h] arms1 & x 0 9 ! arms ( ,mrs4 ,b[man :5 %e 0 %ot d[n4 ,aft] ! surr5d] all ! prison]s 7 m>*$ to ,salt ,lake on ! #ag?1 & on ! #ah? !y 7 exam9$ be=e ,judge ,k9ney 9 *amb]s1 & plac$ "u bonds to appe> at ! next regul> t]m ( ,c\rt4 ,9 urg+ measures aga9/ ! ,morrisites1 ,k9ney claim$ to be satisfi$ t he did only d 8 duty4 ,x is difficult to see h[ he c\ld long be passive :5 ! ord] ( 8 ,c\rt 0 disreg>d$4 ,burton committ$ ! atrocity ( :i* he is accus$ mo/ und\bt$ly1 & x 0 ! "w ( a devot$ fanatic1 :o1 seek+ to please ! ,prophet ,brigham1 did n hesitate to d s by ridd+ him ( a tr\blesome rival4 ,t ,john ,banks 0 f\lly dealt ) !re seems little room to d\bt4 ,he 0 w\nd$ at ! "t ( ,morris's dea?1 b n fatally4 ,! mann] ( 8 8tak+ (f0 only is obscure4 ,9 ! ev5+ he 0 well en\gh to sit up & enjoy 8 pipe4 ,sudd5ly he di$4 ,0 he poison$1 %ot1 or 8knif$80 is ! only qu]y4 ,x is g5]ally believ$ t ,dr4 ,cl9ton 8knif$ him40 ,banks 0 among ! fir/ to receive ,mormonism 9 ,pre/on1 ,lanca%ire1 ,engl&4 ,he 0 soon orda9$ a high-prie/1 & dur+ _m ye>s ( lab\r among ! ,sa9ts he _h presid$ ov] ! l>ge/ conf]5ces 9 ,brita91 & at "o "t 0 "o ( ! ,presid5cy ov] ! :ole ,*ur* !re4 ,he 0 ! mo/ eloqu5t prea*] t 0 ev] 9 ! ,mormon ,*ur*4 ,z 8 fai? wan$ 9 ,mormonism he 0 pa9fully griev$1 & at times became intemp]ate4 ,be=e he 0 a ,mormon he _h be5 a ,*>ti/1 & ! 8despotism0 ( ! rul+ ,prie/hood 0 irksome to him4 ,ye>s be=e he left ,engl& = ,zion he sil5tly m\rn$ ov] ! "o-man p[]4 ,8 be/ life _h be5 sp5t = ,mormonism1 & he 0 !n too f> advanc$ 9 ye>s to beg9 a new life1 & he emigrat$ to ,zion :5 ord]$1 hop+ t 8 fe>s might be remov$ by bett] exp]i5ce4 ,brigham ,"y 0 p]sonally k9d to him aft] he arriv$ at ,salt ,lake1 & s\ght to help him ov] 8 mat]ial tr\bles2 b !re 0 9 ! he>t ( ,john ,banks m ?an he c\ld tell ! ,prophet4 ,:5 he he>d ,morris1 x 0 ! op5+ ( a fre% c>e] to him1 & he eag]ly embrac$ ! new fai?4 ,be=e ! regul> session ( ! ,?ird ,judicial ,di/rict ,c\rt1 at :i* ! ,morrisites 7 to be tri$1 an elem5t 0 import$ into ,utah t 0 de/9$ to tr\ble ! happ9ess ( ! ,prophet4 ,a new ,gov]nor1 9 ! p]son ( ,/eph5 ,s4 ,h>d+1 ( ,indiana1 0 appo9t$ to succe$ ,dawson2 & ,?omas ,j4 ,drake ( ,mi*igan & ,*>les ,b4 ,waite ( ,ill9ois1 7 appo9t$ ,associate ,ju/ices4 ,at ! same "t a body ( ,cali=nia volunte]s1 "u comm& ( ,colonel ,connor1 7 s5t on ! ov]l& mail r\te to protect t & ! telegraph l9e across ! ,pla9s1 b ! ,comm&] _h also in/ructions to e/abli% po/s ne> ,salt ,lake ,city4 ,at ! ,m>* session ( ! ,?ird ,judicial ,di/rict ,c\rt ! ,morrisites 7 tri$4 ,t5 ( !m 7 indict$ = kill+ two ( ! posse dur+ ! flight2 sev5 ( ^! 7 convict$1 "o 0 8noll$10 & two 7 acquitt$4 ,sixty-six o!rs 7 f9$ #ajj ea* = resi/+ ! posse4 ,( ! sev5 convict$ ( 8murd] 9 ! second degree10 "o 0 s5t5c$ to fifte5 ye>s' imprisonm5t1 "o to twelve ye>s1 & five to t5 ye>s ea*4 ,gov]nor ,h>d+1 reg>d+ ! prison]s z des]v+ ( clem5cy1 p>don$ !m all4 ,mo/ ( ^? :o _h pr(ess$ ! ,morrisite fai?1 & :o did n imm$iately leave ! ,t]ritory1 f\nd employm5t & refuge at ,camp ,d\glas4 ,a mon? lat]1 ,colonel ,connor took #bej ( !m & a company ( ! ,cali=nia volunte]s1 to ,soda ,spr+s1 :]e he e/abli%$ a po/ 9 ,idaho1 imm$iately beyond ! nor!rn ,t]ritorial limits ( ,utah1 & ! ,morrisites h !re lo/ _! peculi>ities among a m humane population4 ,aft] ! 8,morrisite w>0 ,burton enjoy$ ! respect ( ! community & ! hon\rs ( ! ,*ur*4 ,(fices & appo9tm5ts 7 %[]$ ^u him1 & wives multipli$ 9 8 h\sehold4 ,if ,brigham 0 horrifi$ at ! murd] ( ,morris1 ,banks1 & ! two wom51 he 0 unfelicit\s 9 its expression4 ,burton 01 ?r\gh 8 influ5ce1 made ,unit$ ,/ates ,assessor ( ,int]nal ,rev5ue1 0 made a ,bi%op ( ! ,*ur*1 & grew f ,colonel ,burton to ,brigadi] & ,major-,g5]al4 ,he 0 made a memb] ( ! ,city ,gov]nm5t & ,%]iff ( ! c\nty ( ,great ,salt ,lake4 ,8 weal? increas$ ) 8 hon\rs1 & he 0 associat$ ) ,brigham 9 ne>ly all ( 8 ent]prises4 ,ab\t f\r ye>s ago ! fir/ move 0 made aga9/ him by ! gr& jury = ! murd]s on ! ,web]1 & he manag$ to conceal himself = ab\t a ye>1 & 0 s5t on a mission 8to prea* ! gospel0 9 ,engl&1 ) ! indictm5t = murd] hang+ ov] him4 ,!re he 0 fur!r elevat$1 & :5 he return$ to 8,zion0 he 0 aga9 hon\r$ by be+ appo9t$ ! second c\nsellor to ! *ief ,bi%op ( ! :ole ,mormon ,*ur*4 ,= ! la/ eighte5 mon?s he has enjoy$ p]fect fre$om1 & has att5d$ to 8 num]\s affairs ) ! utmo/ assurance t no?+ c\ld be done ) him1 & 9 t he is probably correct1 = no?+ has ev] be5 done aga9/ a prom95t ,mormon l ,burton :5 a jury _h ! disposal ( ! bus9ess4 ,on ! #f? ( ,m>*1 #ahgi1 ) all ?is evid5ce1 & ! te/imony ( liv+ eye-witnesses be=e !m1 ,major-,g5]al ,burton 0 acquitt$1 by a jury 9 ,salt ,lake ,city1 ( ! murd] ( ,mrs4 ,b[man6 ,,footnotes #a ,i myself made a movem5t ) my h&--= ,i believ$ t my life 0 at /ake1 & ,i d>$ n d o!rwise4 ,! words ( ! oa? ,i did n utt]4 ,see explanation at ! end ( ! *apt]4 #b ,mormonism ,expos$1 p4 #bcf4 #c ,besides poor ,m>y's family1 9 e o!r in/ance ) ! solit>y exception ( ,si/] ,ann--my 8talkative fri5d0--:o is /ill liv+1 & is s well kn[n 9 ,salt ,lake ,city1 ,i h be5 z scrupul\s 9 giv+ real names z ,i h be5 9 /at+ only facts :i* ,i _h ei!r witness$ or knew beyond "q 7 true4 ,,gilb]t ,,& ,,riv+ton1 ,,pr9t]s1 ,,/4 ,,john',s ,,squ>e1 ,,london4