,copyright 7,c7 #bjah by ,david ,wyllie4 ,?is translation is lic5s$ "u ! ,creative ,commons ,attribution-,non,commercial-,no,derivat ives #d4j ,int]national ,lic5se1 :i* appe>s bel[ & may be f\nd onl9e at http3_/_/creativecommons4org_/lic5ses_/b y-nc-nd_/#d4j_/ ,,siddh>?a ,a poem ( ,india by ,h]mann ,hesse ,translat$ into ,engli% by ,david ,wyllie ,,"p ,,"o ,d$icat$ to my rev]$ fri5d1 ,roma9 ,roll& ,,! ,,brahm9',s ,,son ,9 ! %ade ( ! h\se1 9 ! sun%9e on ! riv] bank :]e ! boats 71 9 ! %ade ( ! =e/ ( %ala trees1 9 ! %ade ( ! fig tree1 ?is is :]e ,siddh>?a grew up1 ! brahm9's mo/ h&some son1 ! "y falcon1 alongside 8 fri5d ,gov9da1 ! brahm9's son4 ,8 pale %\ld]s 7 bronz$ by ! sun%9e on ! riv] bank1 :5 he 0 ba?+1 :5 p]=m+ c]emoni\s ablutions1 :5 mak+ holy sacrifices4 ,%ad[ fl[$ into 8 d>k eyes 9 ! mango groves1 :5 play+ boyi% games1 :5 8 "m sang1 :5 he talk$ ) ! wise ones4 ,siddh>?a sp5t _m h\rs 9 conv]sation ) ! wise ones1 he practis$ 8 skills ( rhetoric ) ,gov9da1 practis$ ! art ( ?\ght ) ,gov9da1 9 ord] to a*ieve my/ic contemplation4 ,he 0 already able to utt] ! holy ^w1 ,om1 9 sil5ce1 ! ^w ( words1 9 sil5ce to utt] x & draw x 9 ) 8 brea?1 9 sil5ce to utt] x & s5d x out ) 8 brea?1 8 m9d collect$1 8 br[ surr\nd$ ) ! light ( ! cle>-?9k+ s\l4 ,he 0 already able to und]/&1 9 8 inn]mo/ be+1 ! nature ( ,atman1 inde/ructible1 at "o ) ! univ]se4 ,joy sprang up 9 8 fa!r's he>t :5 he saw 8 son1 ! le>n$ "o1 ! "o ) a ?ir/ = k1 joy sprang up :5 he =etold t he w\ld gr[ into a wise man & a prie/1 a pr9ce among ! brahm9s4 ,bliss sprang up 9 8 "m's brea/ :5 %e saw h] son1 :5 %e saw him walk1 :5 %e saw him sit d[n & /& up1 ,siddh>?a1 ! /rong "o1 ! h&some "o1 walk+ on 8 sl5d] legs1 :51 ) p]fect decorum1 he h] (f]$ h] 8 greet+s4 ,love 0 /irr$ 9 ! he>ts ( ! brahm9s' daught]s :5 !y saw ,siddh>?a walk ?r\gh ! /reets ( ! t[n1 8 lum9\s br[1 ! eyes ( a k+1 8 n>r[ hips4 ,b ! "o :o lov$ him m ?an all ! o!rs 0 ,gov9da1 8 fri5d1 ! brahm9's son4 ,he lov$ ,siddh>?a's eyes & 8 noble voice1 he lov$ 8 walk & ! p]fect grace ( 8 movem5ts1 he lov$ ev]y?+ t ,siddh>?a did or said1 & mo/ ( all he lov$ 8 s\l1 8 l(ty & fi]y ?\ghts1 ! bright gl[ ( 8 w1 8 l(ty vocation4 ,gov9da knew t ,siddh>?a w\ld nev] become a m$iocre brahm91 no lazy (ficiator ( sacrifices1 no gre$y p$dl] ( magic spells1 no rhetorician ( va9 & empty spee*1 no sly or malevol5t prie/1 & also nev] become a good b /upid %eep 9 ! flock ( _m4 ,no1 & he too1 ,gov9da1 _h no wi% to become "o su*1 n "o ( ^? brahmans t are numb]$ 9 _! ?\s&s4 ,he want$ to be a foll[] ( ,siddh>?a1 ! belov$1 ! noble4 ,& if ,siddh>?a ev] became a god1 if he ev] w5t to jo9 ! lum9\s ones1 !n ,gov9da w\ld foll[ him1 z 8 fri5d1 z 8 companion1 z 8 s]vant1 z 8 spe> c>ri]1 8 %ad[4 ,ev]yone lov$ ,siddh>?a 9 ! same way4 ,to ev]yone he br\ght joy4 ,to himself1 ?\gh1 ,siddh>?a did n br+ joy4 ,w&]+ betwe5 ! roses 9 ! fig g>d51 sitt+ 9 ! blui% %ade 9 ! grove ( contemplation1 wa%+ 8 limbs 9 8 daily act ( atonem5t1 p]=m+ sacrifice 9 ! d>k %ade ( ! mango wood1 all 8 movem5ts z !y %\ld be1 lov$ by all1 joy to all1 he none!less c>ri$ no joy 9 8 own he>t4 ,te>s came to him1 re/less ?\ghts came to him f ! wat] ( ! riv] z x fl[$1 f ! />s ( ! night z !y sp>kl$1 f ! rays ( ! ,sun z !y blaz$1 dreams came to him & a re/lessness ( ! s\l1 f ! smoke ( 8 sacrifices1 f ! v]ses ( ! ,rig ,v$a z he brea!d !m1 f ! tea*+s ( ! anci5t brahm9s z !y seep$ into him4 ,siddh>?a _h begun to nurture discont5t 9 himself4 ,he _h begun to feel t 8 fa!r's love1 & 8 "m's love1 & ! love ( 8 fri5d1 ,gov9da1 w\ld n always & = all "t br+ him happ9ess1 calm him1 satisfy him1 be en\gh = him4 ,he _h begun to see t 8 v5]able fa!r & 8 o!r tea*]s1 ! wise brahm9s1 _h already giv5 him almo/ all ( _! wisdom1 all ! be/ ( _! wisdom1 t _! fullness _h already be5 p\r$ into 8 vessel1 receptive & ready to accept x1 & t ! vessel 0 n full1 ! _s 0 n satisfi$1 ! s\l 0 n quiet$1 ! he>t 0 n at peace4 ,! wa%+s 7 good1 b !y 7 wat]1 !y did n wa% s9s away1 !y did n assuage ! ?ir/ ( ! s\l1 !y did n dispel ! pa9 ( ! he>t4 ,mo/ important ( all 7 ! sacrifices & ! call ( ! gods - b 0 t all8 ,did ! sacrifices br+ happ9ess8 ,& h[ did ! gods feel ab\t t8 ,0 x really ,prajapati :o _h creat$ ! _w8 ,0 x n ,atman1 him1 ! only "o1 ! all-9-"o8 ,7 ! gods n =ms t _h be5 creat$ l y & me1 subject to "t1 mortal8 ,s 0 x good to make sacrifice to ! gods1 0 x prop]1 0 x a mean+ful & elevat$ act8 ,:om else w\ld y make sacrifice to1 :om else %\ld y (f] y\r v5]ation to o!r ?an ,him1 ! "o & only1 ,atman8 ,& :]e 0 ,atman to be f\nd1 :]e did ,he live1 :]e did ,8 et]nal he>t beat1 :]e else b 9 ! ,self1 9 ! ,deepe/1 9 ! ,inde/ructible t e man c>ri$ 9 himself8 ,b :]e1 :]e 0 ?is ,self1 ?is ,deepe/1 ?is ,ultimate8 ,x 0 n made ( fle% & bone1 x 0 n ?\ght or consci\sness1 t is 0 ! wise/ m5 taught4 ,:]e1 :]e 0 x !n8 ,to pi]ce ?r\gh to ! ,self1 to me1 to ,atman - 0 !re any o!r way wor? seek+ out8 ,b no-"o %[$ him ?is way1 no-"o knew x1 n 8 fa!r1 n 8 tea*]s or ! wise m51 n ! sacr$ songs ( sacrifice6 ,!y knew ev]y?+1 ! brahm9s & _! holy books1 knew ev]y?+1 !y _h made great ef=ts into ev]y?+ & into m ?an ev]y?+1 ! creation ( ! _w1 ! orig9s ( spee*1 food1 brea?+ 9 & brea?+ out1 ! hi]>*y ( s9s1 ! acts ( ! gods - _! k 0 b\ndless - b 0 x wor? kn[+ all ( ?is :5 !re 0 "o s+le ?+ !y did n "k1 ! ?+ ( highe/ importance1 ! only ?+ ( importance8 ,x 0 true t _m v]ses 9 ! holy scriptures1 magnific5t v]ses su* z ! ,upani%ads ( ! ,samav$a1 spoke ( ?is deepe/ & ultimate ?+4 8,y\r s\l is ! entire _w10 0 writt5 !re1 & x 0 writt5 t man 9 8 sleep1 deep sleep1 ent]s into 8 deepe/ "p & lives 9 ,atman4 ,great wisdom 0 writt5 9 ^! v]ses1 all ! k ( ! wise/ 0 collect$ "h & pres5t$ 9 words ( magic1 z pure z ! honey collect$ f ! bees4 ,no1 ! enorm\s am\nt ( k "h1 assembl$ & pres]v$ ?r\gh c\ntless g5]ations ( wise brahm9s1 0 n to be "u-valu$4 - b :]e 7 ! brahm9s1 :]e 7 ! prie/s1 :]e 7 ! wise m5 & ! p5it5ts :o _h succe$$ n only 9 le>n+ ?is deepe/ wisdom b 9 liv+ x8 ,:]e 0 ! gift$ "o :o1 by 8 magic1 w\ld draw ! ess5ce ( ,atman out ( its sleep & make x al]t1 some?+ t 0 alive 9 its com+ & go+1 9 ^w & de$8 ,siddh>?a knew _m v5]able brahm9s1 mo/ ( all he knew 8 fa!r1 ! pure "o1 ! le>n$ "o1 ! mo/ v5]able ( all4 ,8 fa!r 0 an admirable man1 quiet & noble 9 8 mann]1 pure 8 life1 wise 8 words1 9 8 br[ liv$ f9e & noble ?\ghts - b ev5 he1 :o _h s mu* k2 ,did he live 9 hol9ess1 0 he at peace1 0 he1 too1 n j ano!r seek]1 j ano!r ?ir/y "o8 ,did he n1 ov] & aga91 ne$ to g to ! well to assuage 8 ?ir/1 did he n ne$ to make sacrifice1 read books & debate 8 beliefs ) ! brahm9s8 ,:y did he1 ! immaculate "o1 ne$ to wa% 8 s9s away e day1 /rive to become pure e day1 e day aga9 & aga98 ,0 ,atman n a "p ( him1 did ! s\rce n fl[ into 8 he>t8 ,! s\rce ( all ?+s _h to be f\nd1 ! s\rce )9 u all1 x _h to be tak5 into ourselves6 ,all else 0 m]e seek+1 m]e /ray+ f ! pa?1 m]e delusion4 ,^! 7 ! ?\ghts ( ,siddh>?a1 ?is 0 8 ?ir/1 ?is 0 8 sorr[4 ,he w\ld (t5 recite ! words f "o ( ! ,*&ogya ,upani%ads3 8,=soo?1 ! "n ( ,brahman is ,satyam - =soo?1 he :o kn[s su* ?+s goe? daily into ! _w ( ,heav540 ,! _w ( ,heav5 (t5 seem$ ne> to him1 b he _h nev] q be5 able to rea* x1 nev] be5 able to qu5* ! ultimate ?ir/4 ,& f all ! wise m5 he knew1 ev5 f ! wise/ ( all1 ^: tea*+s he enjoy$1 !re 0 n "o :o ev] _h q rea*$ x1 ! _w ( ,heav51 :i* w\ld h qu5*$ ! ultimate ?ir/ = him4 8,gov9da10 said ,siddh>?a to 8 fri5d1 8,gov9da1 de> fri5d1 come ) me "u ! banyan tree1 we h to nurture our skill ( contemplation40 ,!y w5t to ! ,banyan tree1 !y sat d[n b5ea? x1 ,siddh>?a "h &1 tw5ty paces away1 sat ,gov9da4 ,z he sat d[n 9 prep>$ness to utt] ! ^w #8,om1' ,siddh>?a repeat$ly mutt]$ ! v]se3 ,om is ! b[1 ! arr[ is ! s\l1 ,brahman is ! arr['s goal1 ,! goal to rea* directly4 ,aft] !y _h practis$ contemplation = _! usual l5g? ( "t ,gov9da /ood4 ,! ev5+ _h come1 x 0 "t to wa% 9 prep>ation = ! ev5+4 ,he call$ out ,siddh>?a's "n4 ,siddh>?a gave no answ]4 ,siddh>?a sat deep 9 contemplation1 8 eyes 7 fix$ on a greatly di/ant object1 ! tip ( 8 tongue protrud$ slightly f betwe5 8 tee?1 he seem$ n to be brea?+4 ,s he sat1 engross$ 9 contemplation1 8 m9d fix$ on ,om1 8 s\l z ! arr[ s5t out to ,brahman4 ,"o day samanas came ?r\gh ! t[n :]e ,siddh>?a liv$1 travell+ ascetics1 ?ree m5 wiz5$ & close to dea?1 nei!r old nor "y1 _! %\ld]s 7 bloody & du/y1 !y 7 ne>ly nak$ & !y 7 scor*$ by ! sun1 an air ( lonel9ess ab\t !m1 ali5 to ?is _w & ! enemy ( ! _w1 /rang]s1 emaciat$ jackals 9 ! empire ( man4 ,! od\r ( quiet suff]+ blew 9 f beh9d !m1 ( s]vice t de/roy$1 ( pitiless loss ( self4 ,t ev5+1 aft] _! h\r ( contemplation1 ,siddh>?a said to ,gov9da1 8,tomorr[ morn+1 my fri5d1 ,siddh>?a w g to ! samanas4 ,he w become a samana40 ,:5 ,gov9da he>d ^! words & saw ! un%akable resolution 9 8 fri5d's face he turn$ pale4 ,siddh>?a c\ld no m be dissuad$ f 8 c\rse ?an ! arr[ spe$+ f ! b[4 ,j z soon z he saw ?is1 ,gov9da knew t ?is 0 :]e x />t$1 ,siddh>?a w\ld n[ g on 8 way1 n[ 8 de/9y w\ld beg9 to gr[1 & ) ,siddh>?a's de/9y s w\ld ,gov9da's4 ,& he became z pale z a dri$ banana sk94 ,oh1 ,siddh>?a10 he exclaim$1 8w y\r fa!r all[ t80 ,siddh>?a look$ back at him z "o :o 0 awak5+4 ,) ! spe$ ( an arr[ he saw ! fe>1 saw ! resignation 9 ,gov9da's s\l4 8,oh1 ,gov9da10 he said g5tly1 8let u n wa/e words4 ,tomorr[1 at ! break ( day1 ,i w emb>k on ! life ( a samana4 ,let u talk no m ab\t x40 ,siddh>?a w5t into ! room :]e 8 fa!r sat on a raffia mat & /ood beh9d him until 8 fa!r c\ld feel t he 0 !re4 ,! brahm9 said1 8,is t y1 ,siddh>?a8 ,say :at x is y h come to tell me40 ,siddh>?a answ]$1 8,if y w all[ x1 fa!r1 ,i h come to tell y t ,i h be5 call$ on to leave y\r h\se 9 ! morn+ & to g among ! ascetics4 ,x is my vocation to become a samana4 ,i hope my fa!r w n be oppos$ to ?is40 ,! brahm9 0 sil5t1 & rema9$ sil5t s long t1 be=e ! sil5ce 9 ! room came to an end1 ! />s outside ! little w9d[ _h mov$ across ! sky & =m$ new %apes4 ,8 son rema9$ !re1 spee*less & immobile1 8 arms cross$1 ! fa!r sat !re on ! mat1 spee*less & immobile1 :ile ! />s made _! way across ! sky4 ,f9ally1 ,siddh>?a's fa!r spoke4 8,x is n seemly = a brahm9 to speak l\d & angry words1 b my he>t is mov$ to oppose ?is4 ,i d n want to he> ?is reque/ f y\r m\? a second "t40 ,sl[ly1 ! brahm9 got to 8 feet1 ,siddh>?a /ood 9 sil5ce1 8 arms cross$4 8,:at are y wait+ =80 8 fa!r ask$4 ,siddh>?a said1 8,y "k :at ,i am wait+ =40 ,displeas$1 8 fa!r left ! room1 displeas$ he w5t to 8 b$ & lay himself d[n4 ,an h\r pass$1 z no sleep came to 8 eyes1 ! brahm9 /ood up1 pac$ to & fro1 left ! h\se4 ,he look$ 9 ?r\gh ! little w9d[ ( ! room1 !re he saw ,siddh>?a /&+1 8 arms cross$1 un*ang$4 ,8 upp] clo?+ %one palely4 ,unease 9 8 he>t1 ,siddh>?a's fa!r w5t back to 8 b$4 ,ano!r h\r pass$1 z no sleep came to 8 eyes1 ! brahm9 /ood up aga91 pac$ to & fro1 w5t to ! front ( ! h\se1 saw t ! moon _h ris54 ,he look$ 9 ?r\gh ! little w9d[ ( ! room1 !re he saw ,siddh>?a /&+1 resolute1 8 arms cross$1 moonlight reflect+ f 8 b>e legs4 ,) worry 9 8 he>t1 ,siddh>?a's fa!r w5t back to 8 b$4 ,he came aga9 aft] an h\r1 & came aga9 aft] two h\rs1 look$ 9 at ! little w9d[1 saw ,siddh>?a /&+ !re1 9 ! moonlight1 9 ! />light1 9 ! d>kness4 ,he came aga9 h\r aft] h\r1 9 sil5ce1 look$ into ! room1 saw ! resolute "o /&+ !re1 x fill$ 8 he>t ) ang]1 fill$ 8 he>t ) anxiety1 fill$ 8 he>t ) d\bts1 fill$ x ) sorr[4 ,& 9 ! la/ h\r ( ! night1 be=e ! day began1 he w5t back aga91 ent]$ ! room1 saw ! "y man /&+ !re4 ,he seem$ great to him1 & l a /rang]4 8,siddh>?a10 he said1 8:at is x y are wait+ =80 8,y "k :at ,i am wait+ =40 8,w y p]si/ 9 /&+ l ?is & wait+ until day comes1 midday comes1 ev5+ comes80 8,i w /& & wait40 8,y w become tir$1 ,siddh>?a40 8,i w become tir$40 8,y w fall asleep1 ,siddh>?a40 8,i w n fall asleep40 8,y w die1 ,siddh>?a40 8,i w die40 8,& w\ld y r die ?an d z y\r fa!r tells y80 8,siddh>?a has always done z 8 fa!r has told him40 8,s w y give up ?is idea80 8,siddh>?a w d z 8 fa!r says40 ,! fir/ rays ( daylight fell into ! room4 ,! brahm9 saw t ,siddh>?a's knees 7 trembl+ slightly4 ,he saw no tremble 9 ,siddh>?a's face1 8 eyes fix$ on ! f> di/ance4 ,!n 8 fa!r realis$ t ,siddh>?a 0 no long] ) him 9 8 native c\ntry1 t he _h already left him4 ,8 fa!r t\*$ ,siddh>?a's %\ld]4 8,y w g into ! woods & become a samana10 he said4 8,if y f9d hol9ess 9 ! woods come & tea* me ab\t hol9ess4 ,if y f9d disappo9tm5t come back & we c make sacrifices to ! gods toge!r aga94 ,n[ g & kiss y\r "m1 tell h] :]e y're go+4 ,= me1 x is "t n[ to g d[n to ! riv] & />t ! fir/ wa%+ ( ! day40 ,he took 8 h& (f 8 son's %\ld] & w5t out4 ,siddh>?a /agg]$ to "o side z he tri$ to walk4 ,he =c$ 8 limbs to d z he want$1 b[$ to 8 fa!r & w5t to 8 "m to d z 8 fa!r _h told him4 ,! t[n1 9 ! light ( e>ly morn+1 0 /ill quiet z ,siddh>?a walk$ out ( x1 mov+ sl[ly on 8 /iff legs4 ,z he pass$ ! la/ hut a %ad[ rose f :]e x _h be5 cr\*+ & approa*$ ! pilgrim - ,gov9da4 8,y h come10 said ,siddh>?a ) a smile4 8,i h come10 said ,gov9da4 ,,among ,,! ,,samanas ,!y rea*$ ! samanas t ev5+1 ! emaciat$ samanas1 & (f]$ !m _! company & _! ob$i5ce4 ,!y 7 accept$4 ,siddh>?a _h giv5 8 coat to a poor brahm9 on ! way !re4 ,all he wore n[ 7 8 lo9 clo? & an e>? col\r$1 untailor$ cloak4 ,he ate j once a day & nev] _h cook$ food4 ,he fa/$ = fifte5 days4 ,he fa/$ = tw5ty-eight days4 ,! fle% disappe>$ f 8 limbs & 8 *eeks4 ,fev]i% dreams flick]$ f 8 bulg+ eyes1 ! nails grew long on 8 desiccat$ f+]s1 a dry1 unkempt be>d4 ,:5 he enc\nt]$ a woman 8 eyes became icy2 8 m\? twit*$ ) contempt :5 he ent]$ a t[n & saw ! p 9 _! f9e clo!s4 ,he saw bus9essm5 do+ bus9ess1 he saw noblem5 g hunt+1 he saw ! b]eav$ griev+ = _! dead1 :ores (f]+ _! bodies1 doctors tak+ c>e ( ! sick1 prie/s say+ :5 to s[ crops1 lov]s lov+1 mo!rs fe$+ _! babies - & none ( ?is 0 wor? a glance f him1 all 0 lies1 ev]y?+ /ank1 ev]y?+ /ank ( lies1 ev]y?+ made a pret5ce ( good s5se & happ9ess & beauty1 all 0 9 decay & none c\ld see x4 ,! _w ta/$ bitt]4 ,life 0 a torm5t4 ,siddh>?a _h b "o objective3 to empty himself1 to empty himself ( ?ir/1 ( desire1 ( dreams1 empty himself ( joy & sorr[4 ,to die away f himself1 to no long] be himself1 to f9d peace by empty+ 8 own he>t1 to /& op5 to ! miracle by ali5at+ 8 own ?\ghts1 t 0 8 objective4 ,once ! :ole ( 8 self _h be5 ov]come & de/roy$1 once e ne$ & e drive ( 8 he>t 0 sil5t1 t 0 :5 ! ultimate _h to wake1 ! deepe/ "p ( 8 be+1 t :i* is no long] ! self1 ! great secret4 ,siddh>?a /ood sil5t 9 ! v]tical gl>e ( ! ,sun1 agl[ ) pa91 agl[ ) ?ir/1 & he /ood !re till he no long] felt pa9 nor ?ir/4 ,he /ood sil5t 9 ! "t ( ra9s ) ! wat] fl[+ f 8 hair onto 8 icy cold %\ld]s1 ov] 8 icy cold hips & legs1 & ! p5it5t rema9$ /&+ !re till 8 %\ld]s & 8 legs no long] felt icy cold1 till !y became sil5t1 till !y 7 at peace4 ,he cr\*$ sil5t 9 ! ?orny bu%es1 blood dropp+ f 8 burn+ sk91 pus dropp+ f 8 w\nds1 & ,siddh>?a rema9$ rigid1 rema9$ motionless1 till ! blood no long] fl[$1 till ! ?orns no long] pi]c$ 8 sk91 till no?+ m burn$ him4 ,siddh>?a sat up /raight & le>n$ to control 8 brea?1 le>n$ to ne$ little air1 le>n$ to /op 8 brea?4 ,he le>n$1 />t+ ) 8 brea?1 to /ill ! beats ( 8 he>t1 le>n$ to r$uce ! beats ( 8 he>t till !y became few] & !n till !re 7 almo/ none4 ,siddh>?a 0 taught by ! elde/ ( ! samanas1 he tra9$ 9 los+ ! self1 he tra9$ 9 contemplation1 le>n$ new samana rules4 ,a h]on flew out ( ! bamboo =e/ - & ,siddh>?a took ! h]on into 8 s\l1 he flew ov] ! woods & m\nta9s1 he 0 a h]on1 he ate fi%1 he hung]$ z a h]on hung]s1 he spoke ! h]on language1 he di$ ! dea? ( a h]on4 ,a dead jackal lay on ! s& by ! wat]1 & ,siddh>?a's s\l slipp$ into ! corpse1 he 0 entirely a jackal1 he lay on ! %ore1 he bloat$ ) gas1 he /ank1 he decay$1 he 0 torn ap>t by hy5as1 he lo/ 8 sk9 to ! vultures1 he became a skeleton1 became du/1 blew 9 ! w9d t cross$ ! mead[s4 ,& ,siddh>?a's s\l came back to him1 di$1 decay$1 crumbl$1 x _h ta/$ ! d>k inebriation ( ! circle ( life1 aga9 endur$ ?ir/ l ! hunt] 9 ! wa/el& :]e ! circle ( life might be left beh9d1 :]e cause & effect end$1 :]e et]nity )\t pa9 began4 ,he br\ght dea? to 8 s5ses1 br\ght dea? to 8 memory1 slipp$ out ( 8 own self & into a ?\s& ali5 =ms1 he 0 an animal1 0 c>rion1 0 /one1 0 wood1 0 wat]1 & ea* "t f\nd himself ev] m aw>e1 light ( sun or moon1 became aga9 himself1 swang 9 ! circle1 felt ?ir/1 ov]came ! ?ir/1 felt ! ?ir/ anew4 ,among ! samanas ,siddh>?a le>n$ _m ?+s1 he le>n$ _m ways to leave 8 self beh9d4 ,he le>n$ ! way ( self-ali5ation by pa91 by volunt>y suff]+ & h[ to ov]come pa91 hung]1 ?ir/1 fatigue4 ,he travell$ on ! way ( self-ali5ation by m$itation1 by remov+ f 8 ?\ghts any s5se t he 0 p]ceiv+ :at pres5t$ itself to him4 ,?is he le>n$1 & he le>n$ _m o!r ways to travel1 he left 8 self beh9d a ?\s& times1 he p]si/$ 9 ! n-self = h\rs1 = days4 ,b al?\gh ^! ways l$ him away f 8 self !y always1 at ! end1 l$ him back to x4 ,siddh>?a fl$ f 8 self a ?\s& times1 sp5t "t 9 no?+ness1 9 ! animal1 9 a /one1 b he 0 nev] able to prev5t 8 return1 ! h\r ( 8 return 0 n avoidable1 & he w\ld f9d himself1 once aga91 9 ! light ( ! sun or ! moon1 9 %ade or 9 ra91 & ,siddh>?a & 8 self 7 !re once aga91 once aga9 ! suff]+ ( ! circle ( life 0 plac$ ^u him4 ,at 8 side liv$ ,gov9da1 8 %ad[1 travell+ ! same road1 und]go+ ! same trials4 ,!y seldom spoke to ea* o!r1 only :5 x 0 ne$$ = _! s]vice & _! ex]cises4 ,at times !y w\ld g toge!r to ! villages 9 ord] to beg = food = !mselves & _! tea*]s4 8,:at d y ?9k1 ,gov9da10 ,siddh>?a once ask$ him z !y 7 on _! way to beg4 8,d y ?9k we h made any progress8 ,h we rea*$ any ( our t>gets80 ,gov9da answ]$1 8,we h le>n$ ?+s1 & we cont9ue to le>n4 ,y w be a great samana1 ,siddh>?a4 ,y h le>n$ e ex]cise v quickly1 & ! old samanas h be5 amaz$ at y4 ,"o day1 ,siddh>?a1 y w be a holy man40 ,siddh>?a said1 8,t is n h[ ,i see x1 my fri5d4 ,all t ,i h le>n$ s f> ,i c\ld h le>n$ mu* fa/] & mu* easi] 9 any b> :]e ! :ores are1 my fri5d1 among all ! *eats & ! gambl]s40 ,gov9da said1 8,t is :at y say1 my fri5d1 b y "k t ,siddh>?a is n "s cattle driv]1 & t a samana is n "s drunk>d4 ,! drunk c numb 8 s5ses1 he c f9d escape & re/ = a %ort "t1 b !n he comes back f 8 /upor & f9ds t all is z x 0 be=e4 ,he makes himself no wis]1 he has ga!r$ no k any sort1 he has climb$ n "o /ep high]40 ,siddh>?a smil$ & said1 8,i don't "k1 ,i've nev] be5 a drunk>d4 ,b ,i d "k t 9 all my ex]cises & contemplations ,i h only ev] f\nd a brief respite f suff]+1 & rema9$ j z f> away f wisdom & lib]ation z a *ild 9 its "m's womb4 ,i d "k t1 ,gov9da1 ,i d "k t40 ,ano!r "t1 :5 ,siddh>?a & ,gov9da came out ( ! woods toge!r & d[n to ! village to beg = food = _! bro!rs & tea*]s1 ,siddh>?a began to speak & said1 8,:at ab\t n[1 ,gov9da1 d y ?9k we are on ! "r pa?8 ,are we gett+ any clos] to k8 ,are we gett+ any clos] to lib]ation8 ,or are we j go+ r\nd 9 circles - we1 :o are try+ to escape ! circle ( life80 ,gov9da said1 8,we h le>nt _m ?+s1 ,siddh>?a1 & !re is /ill a lot m to le>n4 ,we are n go+ r\nd 9 circles1 we are m\nt+ high]1 ! circle is a spiral1 we h already climb$ up _m /eps40 ,siddh>?a answ]$1 8,h[ old d y ?9k our elde/ samana is1 our v5]able tea*]80 ,gov9da said1 8,he mu/ be ab\t sixty1 our elde/ samana40 ,& ,siddh>?a1 8,he has rea*$ ! age ( sixty1 & he /ill has n rea*$ ,nirvana4 ,he w be sev5ty1 & !n eighty1 & y & me1 we w become old 9 ! same way & we w d our ex]cises1 & we w fa/1 & we w m$itate4 ,b we w nev] rea* ,nirvana1 he w n1 we w n4 ,gov9da1 ( all ! samanas t !re are1 ,i d n ?9k any "o ( !m is likely to rea* ,nirvana4 ,we f9d consolation1 we f9d respite f pa91 we le>n ! skills ) :i* we deceive ourselves4 ,b t :i* is ess5tial1 ! way ( ways1 t is :at we are n f9d+40 8,d n utt] su* %ock+ words1 ,siddh>?a60 said ,gov9da4 8,we are among s _m le>n$ m51 s _m brahm9s1 s _m /rict & v5]able samanas1 s _m seek]s1 s _m :o /rive ) su* ef=t1 s _m holy m52 h[ c\ld x be t none ( ^! f9ds ! way ( ways80 ,b ,siddh>?a repli$ 9 a voice t 0 sad z mu* z x 0 mock+1 a g5tle voice1 a some:at sad voice1 some:at mock+1 8,soon n[1 ,gov9da1 y\r fri5d w be leav+ ! way ( ! samanas along :i* he has travell$ s f> ) y4 ,i suff] f ?ir/1 ,gov9da1 & my ?ir/ has n become any ! less on ?is long way ( ! samanas4 ,i h always be5 ?ir/y = k1 always be5 full ( que/ions4 ,i que/ion$ ! brahm9s ye> aft] ye>1 ,i s\ght k 9 ! holy v$as ye> aft] ye>1 & ,i put que/ions to ! pi\s samanas ye> aft] ye>4 ,p]haps1 ,gov9da1 x w\ld h be5 j z good1 j z clev] & j z heal+ to g & put que/ions to ! rh9oc]os birds or ! *impanzees4 ,i h tak5 mu* "t to le>n ?is1 ,gov9da1 & ,i am /ill n at ! end ( x1 ,i h le>n$ t le>n+ is impossible6 ,i believe t 9 fact !re is no?+ 9 any?+ t we c\ld call #8le>n+4' ,!re is only a k9d ( k t is ev]y:]e1 my fri5d1 & t is ,atman4 ,atman is 9 me & 9 ev]y?+ else t has exi/5ce4 ,& s n[ ,i am beg9n+ to believe t ?is k has no worse enemy ?an ! pursuit ( k1 ?an le>n+40 ,at ?is1 ,gov9da /opp$ walk+1 rais$ 8 h&s & said1 8,siddh>?a1 please d n make y\r fri5d anxi\s ) talk l ?is6 ,:at y are say+ really does make me anxi\s 9 my he>t4 ,?9k :at y are say+2 :]e w\ld t leave ! hol9ess ( pray]1 :]e w\ld t leave ! dignity ( be+ a brahm91 :]e w\ld t leave ! hol9ess ( ! samanas if x 7 z y say1 if x 7 n possible ev] to le>n86 ,siddh>?a1 :]e w\ld t leave any?+ on ,e>? t is holy or valuable or v5]able860 ,gov9da quietly mutt]$ a v]se1 a v]se f "o ( ! ,upani%ads3 ,! pure/ s\l t deeply ?9ks & s9ks itself 9 ,atman1 ,8 bless$ he>t w h no words to tell x to ! _w4 ,siddh>?a1 ?\gh1 rema9$ sil5t4 ,he ?\ght ab\t ! words t ,gov9da _h j said to him1 he ?\ght ab\t ! words to _! end4 ,yes1 he ?\ght z he /ood !re ) 8 head l[]$1 :at w\ld be left ( all ! ?+s t seem holy to u8 ,:at w\ld rema98 ,:at w\ld be pres]v$8 ,& he %ook 8 head4 ,at an e>li] "t1 :5 ! two "y m5 _h liv$ ) ! samanas1 & p]=m$ _! ex]cises toge!r = ab\t ?ree ye>s1 !re came to !m ?r\gh _m ways & turn+s a message1 a rum\r1 say+2 ,"o has appe>$ t w be call$ ,gotama1 ! noble "o1 ! buddha4 ,he w h ov]come ! pa9 ( ! _w 9 himself & br\ght ! :eel ( rebir? to a halt4 ,) 8 foll[]s he travels ?r\gh ! l&1 tea*+ z he goes1 )\t prop]ty1 )\t a home1 )\t a wife1 we>+ ! yell[ g>b ( an ascetic b ) joy on 8 br[1 a holy man1 & brahmans & pr9ces b[ _! knee to him & become 8 pupils4 ,?is leg5d1 ?is rum\r1 ?is folk tale s\nd$ out1 rais$ itself l a sc5t f> & wide1 brahm9s spoke ( x 9 ! cities1 samanas spoke ( x 9 ! woods1 ! "n ( ,gotama1 ! buddha1 0 repeat$ ov] & aga9 9 ! e>s ( ! "y1 9 ! good & 9 ! evil1 9 praise & 9 contempt4 ,z :5 ! plague is rag+ ?r\gh a c\ntry & a rum\r arises t some:]e !re is a man1 a wise man1 a kn[l$geable man ^: ^w & ^: brea? alone is en\gh to heal anyone afflict$ ) x1 :5 ?is rum\r spreads ?r\gh ! l& & all are talk+ ( x1 _m believe x1 _m d\bt x1 b _m set !mselves /raight on ! road to seek out ?is wise man :o c help !m1 s x 0 ) ! fragrant rum\r ( ,gotama1 ! buddha1 ! wise man f ! l9e ( ! sakyas4 ,he possess$1 s ! believ]s said1 ! highe/ enlight5m5t1 he rememb]$ 8 previ\s lives1 he _h atta9$ nirvana & w\ld nev] m come back to ! cycle ( rebir?1 nev] m subm]ge 9 ! d>k wat]s t c>ri$ ! =ms ( ! l[] _w4 ,_m ?+s maje/ic & incr$ible 7 report$ ( him1 he _h p]=m$ miracles1 _h ov]come ! ,devil1 _h spok5 ) ! gods4 ,8 enemies1 h[ev]1 & ^? :o did n believe1 said t ?is ,gotama 0 a va9 s$uc]1 he sp5t 8 days 9 com=t1 despis$ ! acts ( sacrifice1 0 )\t le>n+ & p]=m$ nei!r ex]cise nor self-ca/igation4 ,sweet 0 ?is leg5d ( ! buddha1 magical 0 ! aroma ( ^! rum\rs4 ,diseas$ 0 ! _w1 h>d to be> 0 life - & look1 !re appe>$ to fl[ wat] f a new spr+1 a call ( good news seem$ to be he>d1 reassur+1 mild1 & full ( noble promises4 ,ev]y:]e t ! rum\r ( ! buddha 0 he>d1 9 e "p ( ! l&s ( ,india1 ! "y m5 li/5$1 felt long+1 felt hope1 & e pilgrim or /rang] :o came to ! sons ( brahm9s 9 ! t[ns & villages ) news ( him1 ! noble "o1 ! sakyamuni1 0 welcome4 ,?is leg5d ev5 p5etrat$ into ! woods :]e ! samanas liv$1 ev5 to ,siddh>?a1 ev5 to ,gov9da1 sl[ly1 drop by drop1 ea* drop lad5 ) hope1 ea* drop lad5 ) d\bt4 ,!y seldom spoke ( x1 z ! elde/ ( ! samanas 0 no fri5d ( ?is leg5d4 ,he _h be5 taught t anyone :o seem$ to be a buddha _h fir/ become an ascetic & liv$ 9 ! woods1 & only !n return$ to ! _w ( com=t & gaiety1 & he _h no fai? 9 ?is ,gotama at all4 8,siddh>?a10 said ,gov9da to 8 fri5d "o day4 8,i 0 9 ! village today & a brahman invit$ me into 8 h\se1 & 9 8 h\se 0 a brahm9's son f ,magadha :o _h se5 ?is buddha ) 8 own eyes & li/5$ to 8 tea*+s4 ,at t1 ! v brea? 9 my lungs truly caus$ me pa9 & ,i ?\ght3 ,i too w\ld l1 bo? ( u1 ,siddh>?a & ,i1 w\ld l to exp]i5ce ^! tea*+s1 to le>n f ! m\? ( "o :o _h atta9$ p]fection6 ,tell me1 my fri5d1 %\ld we n g & le>n f ! m\? ( ?is buddha himself80 ,siddh>?a answ]$1 8,oh1 ,gov9da1 ,i _h always ?\ght ,gov9da w\ld /ay ) ! samanas1 x 0 always my belief t x 0 8 objective to live to ! age ( sixty or sev5ty & always practise ! arts & ex]cises t ! samanas display4 ,b look at me n[1 ,i did n "k ,gov9da well en\gh1 ,i knew little ( 8 he>t4 ,b n[1 de> fri5d1 n[ y want to set out on a new pa? & g !re1 :]e ! buddha spreads 8 tea*+s40 ,gov9da answ]$1 8,y l to laugh at me4 ,i hope y always keep laugh+1 ,siddh>?a6 ,b d y n also feel ! desire to he> ^! tea*+s ris+ )9 y1 ! wi% to he> :at is said8 ,& did y n once say to me t y w\ld n /ay = long among ! samanas to foll[ _! way80 ,at ?is ,siddh>?a laugh$1 9 8 way ( laugh+ t took on a %ad[ ( sorr[ & a %ad[ ( mock]y1 & said1 8,q "r1 ,gov9da1 :at y say is q "r1 y h rememb]$ x rightly4 ,b maybe y %\ld also rememb] some?+ else y he>d f me1 t ,i _h become tir$ & mi/ru/ful ( tea*+s & le>n+1 & t my beliefs h little fai? 9 ! words t come to u f tea*]s4 ,b anyway1 my fri5d1 ,i am will+ to come & he> ^! tea*+s - ev5 ?\gh1 9 my he>t1 ,i ?9k we h already ta/$ ! be/ fruits ( !m40 ,gov9da answ]$1 8,y\r read9ess br+s joy to my he>t4 ,b tell me1 h[ c t be possible8 ,h[ c\ld ! tea*+s ( ,gotama h giv5 u _! be/ fruits ev5 be=e we h ta/$ !m80 ,siddh>?a answ]$1 8,let u enjoy ^! fruits & wait to see :at happ5s1 ,gov9da6 ,b we c already be ?ankful to ,gotama 9 t 8 fruits are call+ u away f ! samanas6 ,p]haps he has o!r fruit to (f]1 & bett] fruit my fri5d4 ,let u keep peace 9 our he>ts & wait to see if ?is is s40 ,t v day ,siddh>?a told ! elde/ ( ! samanas ( 8 decision to leave him4 ,he told him ) all ! humility & mode/y z befits a junior & a pupil4 ,! samana1 h[ev] fell into a rage at ! "y m5's decision to leave1 he rais$ 8 voice & us$ f\l language4 ,gov9da 0 %ock$ & emb>rass$1 b ,siddh>?a put 8 m\? to ,gov9da's e> & :isp]$1 8,n[ ,i w %[ ! eld] t ,i h le>n$ some?+ f him40 ,siddh>?a /ood close 9 front ( ! samana1 ga!r$ 8 own _s1 captur$ ! gaze ( ! old man ) 8 own gaze1 & !reby did he en?rall him1 made him dumb1 depriv$ him ( 8 w1 subject$ him to 8 own w1 & )\t a ^w he ord]$ him to d z he comm&$4 ,! old man 0 unable to speak1 unable to move 8 eyes1 unable to direct 8 own w1 8 arms hung loose1 he became p[]less & 0 subject to ! magic work$ by ,siddh>?a4 ,siddh>?a's ?\ghts ov]p[]$ ^? ( ! samana1 he _h to c>ry out :atev] comm&s !y gave him4 ,& s ! old man b[$ d[n sev]al times1 p]=m$ ge/ures ( bless+ & humbly /amm]$ out wi%es = a good j\rney4 ,& ! "y m5 repli$ by ?ank+ him = 8 pro/rations1 ?ank$ him = 8 good wi%es & ) ^? greet+s made _! dep>ture4 ,on ! way ,gov9da said1 8,oh ,siddh>?a1 y le>n$ m f ! samanas ?an ,i _h realis$4 ,x is n easy1 n easy at all1 to bewit* an anci5t samana4 ,i am sure t if y _h /ay$ ) !m y w\ld soon h le>n$ to walk on wat]40 8,:y w\ld ,i want to walk on wat]80 said ,siddh>?a4 8,if ! anci5t samanas want to d tricks l t !y c keep !m60 ,,gotama ,9 ! city ( ,sava?i e *ild knew ! "n ( ! noble buddha1 & e h\se 0 ready to fill ! begg+ b[ls ( ,gotama's disciples :5 !y made _! sil5t reque/s4 ,ne> ! city 0 ! grove ( ,jetavana4 ,?is wood _h be5 giv5 to ,gotama & 8 foll[]s by ,ana?ap9dika1 a ri* bus9essman :o 0 devot$ to ! noble "o1 & x 0 ! place t ,gotama lik$ to visit mo/4 ,all ! /ories & all ! answ]s t ! two "y ascetics _h he>d 9 _! se>* = ,gotama _h direct$ !m to ?is place4 ,:5 !y arriv$ 9 ,sava?i !y /ood at ! door ( ! fir/ h\se sil5tly begg+ = food1 :i* 0 giv5 !m4 ,siddh>?a ask$ ! woman :o _h (f]$ !m ! food3 8,g5]\s lady1 we w\ld l to le>n :]e ! mo/ v5]able "o1 ! buddha1 sp5ds 8 "t1 = we are two samanas f ! woods & h come to see him1 ! p]fect "o1 & to he> ! tea*+s f 8 m\?40 ,! woman said1 8,y h c]ta9ly arriv$ at ! "r place1 samanas f ! woods4 ,y %\ld "k t ,jetavana1 ! g>d5 ( ,ana?ap9dikas1 is :]e ! noble "o sp5ds 8 "t4 ,y w be able to sp5d ! night !re1 pilgrims1 z !re is ev5 en\gh room !re = ! c\ntless _m :o flood to ?is place to he> ! tea*+s f 8 m\?40 ,?is 0 pleas+ news to ,gov9da1 & full ( joy he decl>$1 8,t is good1 s we h rea*$ our de/9ation & our j\rney is at its end6 ,b tell u1 "m ( pilgrims1 d y "k him1 ! buddha1 h y se5 him ) y\r own eyes80 ,! woman said1 8,_m h se5 him1 ! noble "o4 ,_m times ,i h se5 him z he w5t on 8 way ?r\gh ! /reets & alleys1 sil5t 9 8 yell[ robes1 sil5t z he %[$ 8 begg+ b[l at ! doors ( h\ses &1 z he left ^? places1 8 begg+ b[l full40 ,gov9da li/5$ ) joy & want$ to put _m que/ions & to he> m4 ,b ,siddh>?a urg$ t !y %\ld g on _! way4 ,!y said ?ank y & left1 & _h h>dly any ne$ to ask ! way = _m pilgrims 7 on _! way to ,jetavana1 z well z monks f ,gotama's community4 ,!y arriv$ !re 9 ! night "t1 !re 0 a cont9u\s fl[ ( visitors arriv+1 call+ to ea* o!r1 talk+ ab\t :o 0 look+ = %elt] & :o _h f\nd x4 ,! two samanas1 us$ to life 9 ! woods1 f\nd a place to re/ quickly & quietly & rema9$ !re till morn+4 ,:5 ! sun rose !y 7 a/oni%$ to see ! size ( ! cr[d1 believ]s or ! curi\s1 :o _h sp5t ! night "h4 ,monks 9 _! yell[ robes w&]$ along all ! pa?s ( ! beautiful grove1 "h & !re "u ! trees sat p deep 9 m$itation or engag$ 9 spiritual discussion4 ,! %ady g>d5 0 l a city1 full ( p sw>m+ l bees4 ,mo/ ( ! monks 7 leav+ ) _! begg+ b[ls 9 ord] to collect food = midday1 :5 !y w\ld h _! only meal ( ! day4 ,ev5 ! buddha himself1 ! enlight5$ "o1 made a habit ( go+ out to beg ea* morn+4 ,siddh>?a saw him1 & z quickly z if he _h be5 po9t$ out by a god1 he knew :o x 04 ,he saw him1 a slight man 9 a yell[ cloak1 mak+ 8 quiet way ) 8 begg+ b[l 9 8 h&4 8,gov9da1 look60 :isp]$ ,siddh>?a4 8,j !re1 t is ! buddha40 ,gov9da />$ at ! monk 9 ! yell[ robe1 indi/+ui%able f ! hundr$s ( o!r monks !re4 ,& soon ,gov9da c\ld see x too3 x 0 him4 ,& !y foll[$ him & kept him 9 _! sight4 ,! buddha foll[$ 8 pa? ) humility & deep 9 ?\ght1 ! peaceful expression on 8 face 0 nei!r gay nor sad1 x seem$ to %[ a g5tle inw>d cont5tm5t4 ,) a hidd5 smile1 quiet1 peaceful1 n unlike a heal?y *ild1 ! buddha w&]$ on1 we>+ 8 robes & plac+ 8 feet 9 ! same way z all 8 monks1 9 ! way t 0 prescrib$4 ,b 8 face1 8 gait1 8 quiet l[]$ eyes1 8 h&s hang+ quietly f 8 arms1 & ev5 e f+] on 8 quietly hang+ h&s spoke ( peace1 spoke ( p]fection1 s\ght no?+1 copi$ no?+1 brea!d g5tly ) a peace t c\ld n fade1 9 a light t c\ld n fade1 a peace t c\ld n be t\*$4 ,s1 ,gotama walk$ on sl[ly t[>ds ! t[n :]e he w\ld ga!r alms1 & ! two samanas knew him simply f ! p]fection ( 8 peace1 ! /illness ( 8 =m :]e no se>*+1 no desire1 no imitation1 no /riv+ c\ld be se51 only light & peace4 8,today1 we w he> ! tea*+s f 8 own m\?10 said ,gov9da4 ,siddh>?a made no answ]4 ,he _h less curiosity ab\t ! tea*+s1 he did n believe !y w\ld tea* him any?+ new1 ev5 ?\gh1 l ,gov9da1 he _h he>d _m times ab\t :at ! tea*+s ( ?is buddha conta9$1 albeit f ! reports he _h he>d at second or ?ird h&4 ,b he look$ att5tively at ,gotama's head1 at 8 %\ld]s1 at 8 feet1 at 8 h& z x hung !re )\t mov+1 & x seem$ to him t e "p ( e f+] ( t h& held a lesson1 spoke1 brea!d1 0 fragrant & %one ) tru?4 ,?is man1 ?is buddha1 0 tru?ful d[n to e movem5t ( e f+]4 ,?is man 0 holy4 ,siddh>?a _h nev] felt su* v5]ation = anyone1 he _h nev] lov$ anyone z mu* z ?is man4 ,! two ( !m foll[$ ! buddha into ! t[n & !n !y quietly turn$ back1 z !y too hop$ to obta9 food = !mselves be=e ! end ( day4 ,!y saw ,gotama z he too came back1 saw him surr\nd$ by 8 foll[]s z !y took _! meal - :at he ate 0 n en\gh to fe$ a bird - & !y saw him )draw into ! %ade ( ! mango trees4 ,b :5 ev5+ came1 :5 ! heat ( ! day _h less5$ & ev]yone 9 ! camp became m active & ga!r$ toge!r1 !y he>d ! buddha speak4 ,!y he>d 8 voice1 & ev5 t 0 a ?+ ( p]fection1 ( p]fect /illness1 ( complete peace4 ,gotama taught ! lesson ( suff]+1 ( ! orig9 ( suff]+1 ( ! way t leads to ! removal ( suff]+4 ,8 spee* fl[$ on1 calm1 peaceful & cle>1 x 04 ,life 0 sorr[1 ! _w 0 full ( suff]+1 b release f suff]+ c\ld be f\nd3 release w\ld be f\nd by him :o foll[$ ! way ( ! buddha4 ,! noble "o spoke 9 a voice t 0 g5tle b firm1 he taught ( ! f\r pr9cipal doctr9es1 he taught ( ! eight-fold pa?1 ! circle ( re9c>nation1 8 voice1 cle> & quiet1 rema9$ above 8 li/5]s l a light1 l a /> 9 ! firmam5t4 ,night _h fall5 be=e ! buddha came to ! end ( 8 spee*4 ,_m pilgrims came =w>d & ask$ to be accept$ into 8 community1 s\ght refuge 9 ! tea*+s4 ,gotama did accept !m1 ) ! words1 8,y h +e/$ ! tea*+s well1 !y 7 convey$ to y well4 ,come1 !n1 among u & walk 9 hol9ess1 t y may prep>e an end to all sorr[40 ,!n ,gov9da1 too1 ! %y "o1 0 se5 to come =w>d & he said1 8,i1 too1 seek refuge ) ! noble "o & 8 tea*+s10 & ask$ to be accept$ among ! buddha's foll[]s1 & he 0 accept$4 ,soon !reaft]1 z ! buddha _h )drawn = 8 night's re/1 ,gov9da w5t to ,siddh>?a ) great en?usiasm & said1 8,i am n entitl$ to reproa* y = any?+4 ,we h bo? he>d ! noble "o1 we h bo? receiv$ 8 tea*+s4 ,gov9da he>d ! tea*+1 he has tak5 refuge 9 !m4 ,b y1 rev]$ "o1 w y n take ! pa? ( lib]ation8 ,w y delay1 w y cont9ue to wait80 ,:5 he realis$ :at ,gov9da _h said ,siddh>?a woke z if he _h be5 sleep+4 ,!n1 g5tly & ) no mock]y 9 8 voice1 he said1 8,gov9da1 my fri5d1 n[ y h tak5 ! fir/ /ep1 n[ y h *os5 y\r pa?4 ,y h always be5 my fri5d1 ,gov9da1 y h always foll[$ me "o /ep beh9d4 ,i h (t5 ask$ myself :e!r ,gov9da w\ld "o day take a /ep ( 8 own1 )\t me1 f 8 own s\l4 ,n[ see1 y h become a man & *os5 y\r own way4 ,i hope y w foll[ x to its end1 my fri5d6 ,i hope y w f9d lib]ation60 ,gov9da /ill did n fully und]/&1 & impati5tly repeat$ 8 "q3 8,speak1 de> fri5d1 ,i beg ( y1 speak6 ,tell me :at _c be diff]5t1 tell me my le>n$ fri5d t y too w take refuge ) ! noble buddha60 ,siddh>?a lay 8 h& on ,gov9da's %\ld]4 8,y h fail$ to he> my deepe/ wi% = y1 ,gov9da4 ,i w repeat if = y3 ,i hope y w foll[ y\r pa? to its end1 my fri5d6 ,i hope y w f9d lib]ation60 ,at t mom5t ,gov9da saw t 8 fri5d _h left him1 & he began to weep4 8,siddh>?a60 he implor$4 ,siddh>?a's reply 0 fri5dly4 8,gov9da1 d n =get t y n[ are "o ( ! samanas ( ! buddha4 ,y h =sak5 y\r home & y\r p>5ts1 =sak5 orig9s & possessions1 by y\r own free w y h =sak5 fri5d%ip4 ,?is is :at is said 9 ! tea*+s1 ?is is :at is said by ! buddha4 ,?is is :at y h *os5 = y\rself4 ,tomorr[1 ,gov9da1 ,i w leave y40 ,! two fri5ds w&]$ long among ! trees1 long !y lay b f\nd no sleep4 ,& ,gov9da ask$ 8 fri5d ov] & ov] aga9 :y he w\ld n take refuge 9 ! tea*+s ( ,gotama1 :at fault c\ld he f9d 9 ^! tea*+s4 ,b ,siddh>? always reject$ 8 insi/5ce & said1 8,le>n to be 9 peace1 ,gov9da4 ,! tea*+s ( ! noble "o are v good4 ,h[ %\ld ,i f9d any fault 9 !m80 ,z morn+ 0 break+ "o ( ! buddha's foll[]s1 "o ( 8 elde/ monks1 w5t ?r\gh ! g>d5 & summon$ all !m :o _h newly *os5 to take refuge 9 ! tea*+s4 ,!y 7 to put on _! yell[ robes & receive _! fir/ in/ruction 9 ! tea*+s & duties ( _! new /atus4 ,gov9da ran to ,siddh>?a1 embrac$ 8 *ildhood fri5d on m "t1 & w5t to jo9 ! ranks ( ! novices4 ,siddh>?a1 h[ev]1 w&]$ among ! trees1 deep 9 ?\ght4 ,:ile he 0 !re he came across ,gotama1 ! noble "o4 ,siddh>?a greet$ him ) v5]ation4 ,!re 0 s mu* peace & goodness to be se5 9 ! buddha's eyes t ! "y man took c\rage & ask$ ! v5]able "o's p]mission to speak to him4 ,! noble "o gave 8 ass5t ) a sil5t nod4 ,siddh>?a said1 8,noble "o1 ,i 0 ye/]day privileg$ to he> y\r wond]ful tea*+s4 ,i _h come "h f af> ) a fri5d to he> !m4 ,my fri5d n[ w /ay among y\r foll[]s & take refuge ) y4 ,i1 h[ev]1 w />t my pilgrimage anew40 8,y are free to d z y wi%10 said ! noble "o politely4 8,9 speak+ to y ,i h be5 m bold ?an ,i %\ld h be510 ,siddh>?a cont9u$1 8b ,i w\ld n want to dep>t f ! noble "o )\t hav+ giv5 him my s9c]e ?\ghts4 ,w\ld ! noble "o be will+ to give me ano!r mom5t ( 8 "t to he> me80 ,! buddha gave 8 ass5t ) a sil5t nod4 ,siddh>?a said1 8,!re is some?+1 mo/ v5]able "o1 t ,i admir$ mo/ ( all 9 :at y said4 ,ev]y?+ 9 y\r tea*+s is p]fectly cle> & support$ ) pro(2 y depict ! _w z a p]fect *a91 nev] brok5 any:]e on its l5g?1 an et]nal *a9 made up ( causes & effects4 ,?is has nev] be5 made s cle>1 nev] set out s irrefutably2 ! he>t ( e brahman mu/ surely beat at a high] level :5 he has he>d y\r tea*+s & fir/ sees ! _w ( p]fect coh]5ce1 )\t omissions1 z cle> z cry/al1 n dep5d5t on *ance1 n dep5d5t on any gods4 ,?is c\ld be good or bad1 c\ld br+ joy or sorr[ to life1 b x is n some?+ we ne$ to consid]1 x c\ld well be t x is n ( basic importance - b ! unity ( ! _w1 t all ev5ts are int]-relat$1 ! fl[ ( exi/5ce t embraces all ?+s great & small1 ! law ( cause & effect1 exi/5ce & dea?1 all ^! ?+s %9e brightly out f y\r noble tea*+s1 o p]fect "o4 ,b !re is a place 9 y\r own tea*+s :]e ?is cohesion1 ?is s\nd argum5t t gov]ns all ?+s is int]rupt$1 !re is a small hole :]e some?+ /range1 some?+ new1 some?+ n previ\sly !re fl[s into ?is _w1 x is some?+ t _c be %[n1 _c be prov$3 ?is is y\r tea*+ ab\t n be+ ov]come by ! _w1 y\r tea*+ ab\t lib]ation4 ,) ?is t9y hole1 ) ?is t9y intrusion ! entire coh]5t & et]nal _w-ord] is once aga9 brok5 d[n & _c be ma9ta9$4 ,i hope y w =give me = voic+ ?is objection40 ,gotama _h li/5$ to him /ill & unmov+4 ,n[1 ) 8 b5evol5t voice1 ) 8 cle> & polite voice1 ! p]fect "o spoke3 8,y h li/5$ to ! tea*+s1 brahm9's son1 & x is good t y h ?\ght s deeply ab\t !m4 ,y h f\nd a gap 9 !m1 a mi/ake4 ,i hope y w cont9ue to ?9k ab\t ! tea*+s1 y h a ?ir/ = k1 b y %\ld be w>n$ ( ! ?ickets ( beliefs & ( quibbles ar\nd words4 ,beliefs are n important1 !y c be beautiful or ugly1 clev] or fooli%1 anyone c /ay atta*$ to !m or ?r[ !m away4 ,b ! tea*+s t y he>d f me are n beliefs & ,i 0 n try+ to expla9 ! _w to !m :o h a ?ir/ = k4 ,i 0 attempt+ some?+ q diff]5t1 ,i 0 attempt+ to %[ h[ to ga9 lib]ation f suff]+4 ,?is is :at ,gotama tea*es1 no?+ else40 8,i hope y w n be cross ) me1 noble "o10 ! "y man said4 8,i h no wi% to argue ) y b to argue ab\t words1 ?is is :y ,i h spok5 to y 9 ?is way4 ,y are c]ta9ly q "r1 beliefs alone are n ( great importance4 ,b all[ me to say "o ?+ m3 ,i h nev] = a mom5t _h any d\bts ab\t y4 ,i h nev] = a mom5t d\bt$ t y are a buddha1 t y h rea*$ ! end ( y\r pa?1 ! highe/ objective t s _m ?\s&s ( brahm9s & brahm9s' sons pursue4 ,y h f\nd lib]ation f dea?4 ,y h atta9$ ?is by y\r own se>*+1 by travell+ y\r own pa?1 by ?\ght1 by m$itation1 by k1 by enlight5m5t4 ,y h n atta9$ x by li/5+ to ! tea*+s ( o!rs6 ,& - ?is is :at ,i h come to believe1 noble "o - nobody c ev] atta9 lib]ation by li/5+ to ! tea*+s ( o!rs6 ,nobody1 v5]able "o1 w come to und]/& :at happ5$ to y 9 ! h\r ( y\r enlight5m5t by he>+ y\r words & y\r tea*+s6 ,! enlight5$ "o1 ! buddha1 tea*es _m ?+s ab\t h[ to live a good & hone/ life & h[ to avoid evil1 b ! tea*+ t is s cle>1 t is s noble1 is n !re3 ! noble "o does n give tea*+ ab\t ! secret t he alone has exp]i5c$1 he alone out ( hundr$s ( ?\s&s4 ,?is is :at ,i ?\ght1 :at ,i p]ceiv$1 :5 ,i he>d y\r tea*+s4 ,?is is ! reason ,i w cont9ue 9 my w&]+s - n to f9d o!r tea*+s :i* may be bett]1 = ,i "k !re are none1 b to ab&on all tea*+s & all tea*]s & ei!r to atta9 my goal alone or to die4 ,b1 noble "o1 ,i w (t5 ?9k back to ?is day & ?is h\r1 = my eyes h se5 a man ( great hol9ess40 ,! buddha look$ quietly d[n at ! gr\nd1 ! buddha's face1 peaceful b inscrutable1 %one ) p]fect s]5ity4 8,i hope y\r ?\ghts10 ! v5]able "o said sl[ly1 8are n mi/ak56 ,may y arrive at y\r objective6 ,b tell me3 h y se5 h[ _m samanas ,i h1 h[ _m bro!rs :o h tak5 refuge 9 my tea*+s8 ,& d y ?9k1 samana f a =eign place1 d y ?9k all ( ^! w\ld be bett] (f if !y ab&on$ ! tea*+s & w5t back to life 9 ! _w ) all its enjoym5ts80 8,su* a ?\ght is f> f me10 ,siddh>?a exclaim$4 8,i hope !y w all rema9 ) ! tea*+s1 ,i hope !y w rea* _! goal6 ,x is n up to me to judge h[ o!rs lead _! lives4 ,i c only judge my own life1 ,i mu/ *oose = myself1 mu/ reject = myself4 ,we samanas seek lib]ation f our selves1 noble "o4 ,i fe>1 v5]able "o1 t if ,i 7 "o ( y\r foll[]s ,i might only seem to br+ my self to peace1 t my lib]ation w\ld be illusory & my self w\ld 9 fact cont9ue to exi/ & gr[ bigg]1 z !n ,i w\ld h ! tea*+s1 w\ld h my foll[]s1 w\ld h my love = y1 w\ld h ! community ( monks & all ?is ,i w\ld h made into my self60 ,) a half-smile1 ) un%akeable cl>ity & fri5dl9ess1 ,gotama look$ ! /rang] 9 ! eye & took 8 leave ( him ) b>ely noticeable ge/ure4 8,y are clev]1 samana10 ! v5]able "o said4 8,y\r argum5ts1 my fri5d1 are v clev]4 ,take c>e t y d n become too clev]60 ,! buddha walk$ sl[ly away1 & 8 look & 8 half smile rema9$ =ev] engrav$ 9 ,siddh>?a's memory4 ,i h nev] be=e se5 anyone look & smile1 sit & walk1 l ?is man1 he ?\ght to himself4 ,i truly hope t ,i1 too1 w be able to look & to smile1 to sit & to walk z he does1 s free1 s v5]able1 s hidd51 s op51 s *ild-l & private4 ,x is only ! man :o has p5etrat$ to 8 inn]mo/ self :o is truly able to look & to walk 9 ?is way4 ,i1 too1 w d my utmo/ to p5etrate to my inn]mo/ self4 ,i h se5 "o man1 ,siddh>?a ?\ght1 j "o1 to :om ,i _h to l[] my eyes4 ,i w n l[] my eyes to any o!r man1 n anyone4 ,i w n be drawn into any tea*+s1 z ,i 0 n drawn into ! tea*+s ( ?is man4 ,i 0 robb$ by ?is buddha1 ,siddh>?a ?\ght1 he robb$ me1 b he gave me mu* m4 ,he robb$ me ( my fri5d1 ( him :o _h fai? 9 me & n[ has fai? 9 him1 ( him :o 0 my %ad[ & is n[ ! %ad[ ( ,gotama4 ,b he made ! gift to me1 to ,siddh>?a1 ( myself4 ,,awak5+ ,z ,siddh>?a left ! grove :]e ! buddha1 ! p]fect "o1 rema9$ beh9d1 :]e ,gov9da rema9$ beh9d1 he felt t he 0 also leav+ beh9d 8 life s f>1 t x 0 sep>at+ itself f him4 ,?is s5sation fill$ him completely1 & he ?\ght ab\t x z he sl[ly walk$ on4 ,he pond]$ deeply z if s9k+ ?r\gh deep wat]1 he all[$ himself to drop to ! bottom ( ?is feel+ to ! place :]e its causes lay1 z x seem$ to him t id5tify+ causes 0 to ?9k1 & t is ! only way to make s5sations into k & avoid los+ !m altoge!r1 ! only way to make !m sub/antial1 ! only way to make !m %9e & %[ :at !y conta94 ,he pond]$ z he walk$ sl[ly on4 ,he conclud$ t he 0 no long] a y\? b _h become a man4 ,he conclud$ t some?+ _h left him l a snake t sl\ghs its sk91 t some?+ )9 him 0 no long] !re = him1 some?+ t _h be5 ) him all ?r\gh 8 y\? & _h belong$ to him3 ! wi% to h a tea*] & to he> tea*+s4 ,he _h ev5 dep>t$ f la/ tea*] :o _h come to him on 8 way1 ! highe/ & wise/ ( tea*]s1 ! holie/ ( !m all1 ! buddha1 he _h _h to sep>ate himself f him1 he _h be5 unable to accept 8 tea*+s4 ,siddh>?a cont9u$ to pond] z he walk$1 & 8 movem5t became sl[] z he ask$ himself3 ,b :at 0 x t y want$ to le>n f ! tea*]s8 ,:at 0 x t ^? tea*]s :o sp5t s mu* "t giv+ y _! lessons 7 none!less unable to tea* y8 ,& ,siddh>?a f\nd an answ]3 ,:at ,i want$ to le>n 0 my self1 ,i want$ to le>n ! mean+ & ! ess5ce ( my self4 ,i want$ to be rid ( my self1 want$ to ov]come my self4 ,b ,i 0 n able to ov]come x1 0 able only to *eat x1 0 able only to flee f x1 to hide f x4 ,!re is truly no?+ 9 ! _w t has occupi$ my ?\ghts z mu* z ?is self ( m9e1 ?is puzzle t ,i am alive1 t ,i am sep>ate f "o & all1 sev]$ f !m1 t ,i am ,siddh>?a6 ,& !re is no?+ 9 ! _w t ,i "k less ab\t ?an myself1 ab\t ,siddh>?a6 ,siddh>?a walk$ m sl[ly z he pond]$ & !n1 gripp$ by ^! ?\ghts1 came to a /op4 ,& at t mom5t a new ?\ght sprang out f !m3 ,!re is a reason :y ,i "k no?+ ab\t myself1 a cause = ,siddh>?a rema9+ s /range & unfamili> to me1 j "o cause2 ,i 0 9 fe> ( myself1 ,i 0 9 flight f myself6 ,i s\ght ,atman1 ,i s\ght ,brahman1 ,i _h resolv$ to break my self ap>t1 to flay x ap>t s t 9 its inn]mo/1 lea/ kn[n "p ,i c\ld f9d ! k]nel )9 all %ells1 ,atman1 life1 ! div9e1 ! ultimate4 ,b 9 ! process ,i lo/ myself4 ,siddh>?a sudd5ly op5$ 8 eyes & look$ ar\nd him1 a smile cov]$ 8 face1 & a pr(\nd s5se ( wak+ f a long p]iod ( dreams fl[$ ?r\gh him all ! way d[n to 8 toes4 ,& z soon z he began to walk on he walk$ quickly1 l a man :o kn[s :at he has to d4 ,he took 9 a deep brea? & ?\ght to himself3 8,i w n let ,siddh>?a get away f me n[6 ,i w no long] let my ?\ghts & my life beg9 ) ,atman & ! suff]+ ( ! _w4 ,i w no long] kill myself & dismemb] myself 9 ord] to see beh9d ! ru9s & f9d a secret !re4 ,i w no long] take tea*+s f yoga-v$a1 nor f a?>va-v$a1 nor ! ascetics nor any o!r k9d ( tea*+4 ,i w le>n by myself alone1 be a /ud5t ( myself1 le>n to "k myself1 ! secret ( ,siddh>?a40 ,he look$ ar\nd him z if see+ ! _w = ! fir/ "t4 ,! _w 0 beautiful1 fill$ ) _m col\rs1 /range & puzzl+ 0 ! _w6 ,blue "h1 yell[ "h1 gre5 "h1 sky & riv] fl[$1 trees & hills rea*$ upw>ds1 ev]y?+ beautiful1 ev]y?+ puzzl+ & magic1 & 9 ! middle ( x all 0 he1 ,siddh>?a1 ! awak5+ "o1 on ! way to himself4 ,all ?is1 all ?is yell[ & blue1 riv] & wood1 ent]$ into ,siddh>?a ?r\gh 8 eyes = ! fir/ "t1 x 0 no long] ! sorc]y ( ,m>a1 no long] ! veil ( maya1 no long] ! mean+less & r&om div]sity ( ! _w ( delusion t ! deep ?9k+ brahm9 despises1 t ! deep ?9k+ brahm9 scorns 9 8 se>* = unity4 ,blue 0 blue1 riv] 0 riv]1 ?is 0 :]e ! div9e liv$ hidd51 ! blu5ess & ! riv] lay )9 ,siddh>?a b ?is 0 h[ ! div9e %[$ itself & x 0 none!less "o2 yell[ "h1 blue "h1 ! sky !re1 ! woods !re1 & "h to be ,siddh>?a4 ,mean+ & ess5ce 7 n some:]e beh9d ?+s1 !y 7 )9 !m1 9 ev]y?+4 8,i h be5 s deaf1 s dull-witt$60 he ?\ght z he hurri$ =w>d4 8,:5 a man reads scripture 9 pursuit ( its mean+ he does n despise ! ciph]s & lett]s1 call+ !m deceitful1 r&om or mean+less %ells1 he reads x1 he /udies x & loves x1 lett] by lett]4 ,b ,i1 :o want$ to read ! book ( ! _w & ! book ( my own ess5ce1 ,i did despise ! ciph]s & lett]s = ! sake ( a mean+ ,i ?\ght ,i knew be=eh&1 :5 ,i saw ! _w1 :5 ,i t\*$ ! _w1 ,i call$ x delusion1 ,i call$ my eye & my tongue r&om & wor?less appe>ances4 ,no1 ?is is 9 ! pa/ n[1 ,i h awok51 ,i h truly awok5 & today ,i am born = ! fir/ "t40 ,z ,siddh>?a _h ?is ?\ght he sudd5ly /opp$ walk+ aga91 z if !re lay a snake 9 front ( him on ! pa?1 he also awoke to ?is insight3 ,i am n n[ t :i* ,i once 01 ,i am no long] an ascetic1 ,i am no long] a prie/1 ,i am no long] a brahm94 ,s :at %\ld ,i d at home 9 ! h\se ( my fa!r8 ,/udy8 ,p]=m sacrifices8 ,cultivate m$itation8 ,all ?is lies n[ 9 ! pa/1 all ?is is no long] on my pa?4 ,= sudd5ly !re 0 some?+ else t _h become cle> to him3 ,he1 :o _h 9 fact become l "o awok5 or newly born1 he w\ld h to />t 8 life anew & f its v beg9n+4 ,t v morn+1 z he left ! grove ( ,jetavana1 ! grove ( ! noble "o1 already awak+1 already on ! way to himself1 x 0 8 int5tion1 an int5tion t seem$ to be natural & a matt] ( c\rse1 t he w\ld br+ 8 ye>s ( liv+ z an ascetic to an end & return home to 8 fa!r4 ,b n[1 only n[ at ?is mom5t :5 he /opp$ walk+ z if a snake lay on ! pa? 9 front ( him1 he awoke also to ?is insight3 ,i am no long] ! p]son ,i once 01 ,i am no long] an ascetic1 ,i am no long] a prie/1 ,i am no long] a brahm94 ,s :at %\ld ,i d if ,i g back home to my fa!r8 ,/udy8 ,p]=m sacrifices8 ,cultivate m$itation8 ,^! ?+s are all 9 ! pa/1 ^! ?+s no long] lie be=e me on my way4 ,siddh>?a /ood !re motionless1 & = "o mom5t1 = "o intake ( brea?1 8 he>t rema9$ froz51 he felt x freez+ 9 8 brea/ inside him l a small animal1 a bird or a h>e1 z he saw h[ alone he 04 ,= _m ye>s he _h be5 )\t a home & _h n felt x4 ,n[ he did feel x4 ,until n[1 ev5 :5 imm]s$ 9 ! deepe/ m$itation1 he _h be5 8 fa!r's son1 a brahm91 a man ( high /atus1 a spiritual man4 ,n[ he 0 m]ely ,siddh>?a1 ! awok5 "o1 no?+ m4 ,he drew 9 a deep brea?1 & = a mom5t he froze & %udd]$4 ,no-"o 0 z alone z he 04 ,no nobleman :o did n belong among noblem51 no h&work] :o did n belong among h&work]s b f\nd refuge among !m1 %>+ 8 life ) !irs & speak+ _! language4 ,no brahm9 :o did n c\nt z a brahm9 & liv$ among !m1 no ascetic :o f\nd no refuge 9 8 /atus z a samana1 & n ev5 ! h]mit lo/ deepe/ 9 ! woods 0 s+le or alone1 ev5 he 0 surr\nd$ by ! ?+s he belong$ to1 ev5 he belong$ to a c]ta9 condition t made t place 8 home4 ,gov9da _h become a monk & _h a ?\s& monks z 8 bro!rs1 he wore 8 robes1 believ$ 8 beliefs & spoke 8 language4 ,b he1 ,siddh>?a1 :]e did he belong8 ,^: life w\ld he %>e8 ,^: language w\ld he speak8 ,f ?is mom5t on1 :5 ! _w ar\nd him 0 melt+ away1 :5 he /ood alone l a /> 9 ! sky1 f ?is mom5t ( coldness & despair1 ,siddh>?a always rose up m 8 self ?an he _h be51 m conc5trat$ ?an he _h be54 ,he felt3 ,?is 0 ! f9al spasm ( awak5+1 ! la/ cramp ( 8 bir?4 ,& he imm$iately /epp$ out aga91 began to walk quickly & impati5tly1 no long] go+ home1 no long] go+ to 8 fa!r1 no long] go+ back4 ,,"p ,,two ,d$icat$ to ,wilhem ,gund]t1 my c\s9 9 ,japan4 ,,kamala ,z ,siddh>?a w5t on 8 way ! _w 0 trans=m$ & 8 he>t 0 en*ant$1 & ) e /ep he le>nt some?+ new4 ,he saw ! sun rise above ! trees on ! m\nta9s & saw x set beh9d di/ant palmy bea*es4 ,at night he saw ! />s rang$ across ! sky & ! cresc5t moon l a boat swimm+ 9 a sea ( blue4 ,he saw trees1 />s1 animals1 cl\ds1 ra9b[s1 crags1 h]bs1 fl[]s1 /reams & riv]s z !y fl[$1 morn+ dew t gli/5$ 9 ! bu%es1 l(ty m\nta9s blue & pale 9 ! di/ance1 birds & bees bo? gave _! song1 ! w9d blew1 s\gh+ 9 ! silv] fields ( rice4 ,all ( ?is1 bright ) col\r ev]y:]e1 _h always be5 !re1 ! sun & moon _h always %one1 riv]s ru%$ & bees did buzz1 b = ,siddh>?a until !n all ( ?is _h be5 no?+ b a fleet+ & delusory veil be=e 8 eyes1 some?+ to be mi/ru/$1 some?+ to be pi]c$ & de/roy$ by ! intellect1 = x 0 some?+ t did n exi/1 = exi/5ce lay beyond t :i* c\ld be se54 ,b n[ 8 eye 0 free1 x l+]$ on ?is side ( :at c\ld be se51 x look$ & x ackn[l$g$ :at c\ld be se51 x s\ght its home 9 ?is _w1 no long] s\ght ! ess5ce1 did n /rive = ! beyond4 ,se5 9 ?is way1 )\t se>*+1 s simple1 s *ild-l1 ! _w 0 beautiful4 ,! moon & />s 7 beautiful1 riv]s & %ores 7 beautiful1 woods & crags1 goats & beetles1 fl[]s & butt]flies4 ,beautiful & lovely x 01 s to g ?r\gh ! _w1 s *ild-l1 s awake1 s op5 to ! ?+s ar\nd him1 s )\t mi/ru/4 ,! sun burnt on 8 head diff]5tly1 ! %ade ( ! woods cool$ him diff]5tly1 ! /reams & ponds ta/$ diff]5tly1 m>r[ & banana ta/$ diff]5tly4 ,! days 7 %ort1 ! nights 7 %ort1 e h\r flew swift away l a sailboat on ! wat]1 ! sailboat full ( treasure1 full ( joy4 ,siddh>?a saw a troop ( monkeys travell+ 9 ! bran*es ( ! =e/ canopy1 he he>d _! wild & gre$y song4 ,siddh>?a saw a ram pursue ! ewe & mat+ ) h]4 ,9 a lake ( re$s he saw ! pike pursue 8 prey to /ill 8 ev5+ hung]1 ! s*ool ( "y fi% :o1 9 fe>1 ru%$ anxi\sly1 flapp+ & fla%+ above ! wat]1 /r5g? & passion =c$ _! sc5t f ! rapid-swirl+ wat]1 f ! fi]ce tumult work$ up by _! pursu]4 ,all ^! ?+s _h always be51 & he _h n se5 !m2 he _h n be5 ) !m4 ,n[ he 0 ) !m1 he belong$ to !m4 ,light & %ade ran ?r\gh 8 eyes1 ?r\gh 8 he>t ran /> & moon4 ,on 8 way ,siddh>?a also ?\ght ab\t all ! ?+s he _h exp]i5c$ 9 ! g>d5 ( ,jetavana1 ! tea*+s he _h he>d !re1 ! div9e buddha1 ! f>ewell f ,gov9da1 8 conv]sation ) ! noble "o4 ,he ?\ght aga9 ab\t ! words t he _h himself said to ! noble "o1 rememb]$ e ^w1 & 0 a/oni%$ to sudd5ly realise t he _h said ?+s he _h n kn[n till !n4 ,:at he _h said to ,gotama3 8 own1 ! buddha's1 treasures & secrets1 ^! 7 n ! tea*+s1 ! ineffable 0 ! tea*+1 some?+ t c\ld n be taught1 :at he exp]i5c$ at ! mom5t ( 8 enlight5m5t - yes1 ?is 0 ! ?+ t he 0 n[ /riv+ =1 :at he 0 only n[ beg9n+ to exp]i5ce4 ,! ?+ t he _h to exp]i5ce n[ = himself4 ,he _h probably long kn[n t he 0 8 own ,atman1 ! same et]nal ess5ce z ,brahman4 ,b x 0 some?+ he _h nev] really f\nd = himself because he _h tri$ to capture x ) ! web ( ?\ght4 ,! body too1 c\ld c]ta9ly n be ! ?+ he s\ght1 nor play+ games ) ?9k+1 n ?\ght1 n und]/&+1 n ! wisdom t has be5 le>n$1 n ! art t has be5 le>n$ t all[s y to draw conclusions & sp9 new ?\ghts f ! ones already spun4 ,no1 ev5 ?is _w ( ?\ghts 0 /ill on ?is side & x l$ n[h]e to kill ! r&om self ( ! s5ses1 only to cram ! r&om self full ( ?\ghts & doctr9es4 ,bo? ( !m1 ?\ghts & s5ses1 7 v beautiful b bo? ( !m hid ! ultimate s5se1 bo? ( !m 7 wor? li/5+ to1 wor? play+ )1 nei!r %\ld be ei!r despis$ or ov]-valu$1 bo? ( !m (f]$ to let y he> ! secret voice ( ! inn]mo/4 ,!re 0 no?+ he /rove = o!r ?an :at ! voice told him to /rive =1 no?+ he w\ld dwell on o!r ?an :]e ! voice told him to dwell4 ,:y _h ,gotama sat "u ! bo tree at t mom5t ( mom5ts :]e enlight5m5t came ^u him8 ,he _h he>d a voice1 a voice 9 8 own he>t :i* told him to seek re/ "u ?is tree1 he _h n *os5 r to mortify 8 fle%1 to p]=m sacrifice1 ablution nor pray]1 he _h n s\ght food nor dr9k nor sleep nor dreams1 he _h done z ! voice told him4 ,?is ob$i5ce 0 ! "o ?+ ne$$1 n any comm& f outside himself1 j ! voice1 to be ready1 t 0 good1 t 0 ne$$1 no?+ else 0 ne$$4 ,9 ! night1 :ile he slept by ! riv] 9 ! f]ry man's /raw hut1 ,siddh>?a _h a dream3 ,gov9da /ood be=e him 9 ! yell[ robes ( ! ascetic4 ,gov9da look$ sad1 & sadly he ask$1 8,:y h y ab&on$ me80 ,at ?is ,siddh>?a embrac$ ,gov9da1 ?rew 8 arms ar\nd him1 & z he drew him to 8 brea/ & kiss$ him x 0 ,gov9da no long]1 x 0 a woman1 & f ! woman's robe well$ out h] full brea/ at :i* ,siddh>?a put 8 m\? & drank1 sweet & /rong 0 ! ta/e ( ! milk f ?is brea/4 ,x ta/$ ( woman & man1 ( sun%9e & =e/1 ( bea/ & fl[]1 ( e fruit1 ( e joy4 ,x made him drunk & unaw>e ( himself4 ,:5 ,siddh>?a woke1 ! pale riv] %imm]$ ) light t came 9 ?r\gh ! door ( ! hut1 & f ! =e/ came ! deep1 d>k1 di/9ct call ( an owl4 ,at ! />t ( day ,siddh>?a ask$ 8 ho/1 ! f]ry man1 to take him across ! riv]4 ,! f]ry man put him on 8 bamboo raft & took him across ! riv] z ! r$ light ( morn+ %imm]$ on ! expanse ( wat]4 8,?is is a beautiful riv]10 he said to 8 companion4 8,yes10 said ! f]ry man1 8x is a v beautiful riv]1 ,i love x above all else4 ,i h _m times li/5$ to :at x has to say1 _m times look$ into its eyes1 & x has always _h some?+ to tea* me4 ,!re is a great deal t y c le>n f a riv]40 8,?ank y = y\r help10 said ,siddh>?a z he /epp$ onto ! o!r %ore4 8,i h no?+ ,i c\ld give y = y\r hospitality1 my fri5d1 no?+ ,i c\ld pay y4 ,i h no home to live 91 ,i am ! son ( a brahm9 & a samana40 8,t 0 easy to see10 said ! f]ry man1 8& ,i nev] did expect any paym5t f y1 no gift = my hospitality4 ,y c give me some?+ ano!r "t40 8,y ?9k s80 said ,siddh>?a ) a laugh4 8,c]ta9ly4 ,t too is some?+ ,i h le>nt f ! riv]3 ev]y?+ comes back aga96 ,ev5 y1 samana1 y w be back aga94 ,s1 f>ewell6 ,my fee c be y\r fri5d%ip4 ,?9k ( me always :5 y make sacrifice to ! gods40 ,smil+1 !y took _! leave ( ea* o!r4 ,smil+1 ,siddh>?a 0 glad ( ! fri5d%ip & ! fri5dl9ess ( ! f]ry man4 8,he is s l ,gov9da10 he smil+ ?\ght1 8ev]yone ,i come across on my ways is l ,gov9da4 ,ev]yone gives me ?anks1 al?\gh x is !y :o h ! "r to receive ?anks f me4 ,ev]yone is humble1 ev]yone wi%es to be my fri5d1 ev]yone wi%es to obey me & to ?9k little4 ,p are l *ildr540 ,ar\nd midday he 0 walk+ ?r\gh a village4 ,9 ! /reet & 9 front ( its mud huts !re 7 *ildr5 runn+ ab\t1 play+ ) m>r[ se$s & mussels1 !y %\t$ & play$ r\gh games ) ea* o!r1 b :5 ?is /range samana appe>$ !y became timid & ran away4 ,z x left ! village ! pa? l$ across a /ream & !re 0 a "y woman kneel+ at ! bank ( ! /ream wa%+ clo!s4 ,z ,siddh>?a greet$ h] %e rais$ h] head & look$ up at him ) a smile s t he c\ld see ! sp>kl+ :it5ess ( h] eyes4 ,he decl>$ a bless+ on h]1 z is usual among travell]s1 & ask$ h] h[ f> x /ill 0 till he w\ld rea* ! big city4 ,at t1 %e /ood up & w5t up to him1 h] face look$ "y & ! light sp>kl$ appeal+ly on h] moi/ lips4 ,%e ex*ang$ a few jokey words ) him1 ask$ if he 0 hungry1 & :e!r x 0 true t samanas sleep alone 9 ! woods & are n all[$ to h any wom5 ) !m4 ,z %e said ?is %e plac$ h] left foot on 8 "r foot & made ! k9d ( movem5t a woman makes :5 %e is lead+ a man into t sort ( amor\s pleasure :i* ! books call 8climb+ a tree40 ,siddh>?a felt 8 blood become w>m1 & z 8 dream came back into 8 m9d at t mom5t he leant d[n slightly t[>ds ! woman &1 ) 8 lips1 he kiss$ ! br[n tip ( h] brea/4 ,:5 he look$ up he saw ! smile on h] face1 full ( desire1 & t h] n>r[$ eyes ye>n$ = him4 ,siddh>?a also felt desire & felt ! s\rce ( 8 g5d] z x began to move2 b he _h nev] t\*$ a woman until !n & he hesitat$ a mom5t be=e 8 h&s 7 ready to rea* out = h]4 ,& 9 t mom5t he %iv]$ z he he>d a voice f deep )9 him1 & ! voice said no4 ,!n all ! *>m fad$ f ! "y woman's smil+ face1 all he saw 0 ! damp gaze ( a woman impell$ by lu/ l an animal4 ,he rema9$ fri5dly1 /rok$ h] *eek1 turn$ away f h] & disappe>$ nimbly into ! bamboo =e/1 leav+ h] disappo9t$4 ,be=e ! day _h pass$ into ev5+1 ,siddh>?a rea*$ a big city1 & he look$ =w>d to hav+ human company4 ,he _h liv$ long 9 ! =e/s1 ! /raw hut ( ! f]ry man :]e he _h slept ! previ\s night 0 ! fir/ "t he _h slept "u any ro( = a long "t4 ,be=e he ent]$ ! t[n1 ne> a pleasant wood enclos$ )9 a f5ce1 ! w&]] met ) a gr\p ( s]vants lad5 ) baskets4 ,9 ! middle ( !m 0 _! mi/ress on a decorat$ palanqu9 borne by f\r m51 %e 0 seat$ on r$ cu%ions & protect$ f ! sun "u a brightly col\r$ ro(4 ,siddh>?a rema9$ at ! entrance to ! wood$ pleasure g>d5 & wat*$ ! procession z x pass$1 saw ! s]vants1 ! maids1 ! baskets1 ! palanqu91 & on ! palanqu9 saw ! lady4 ,"u a high t[] ( black hair he saw a face t 0 v fair1 v t5d] & v wise1 he saw a m\? t 0 p9k l a fre%ly op5$ fig1 eyebr[s t 7 c>efully t5d$ & pa9t$ into tall ar*es1 eyes t 7 intellig5t & d>k1 a tall1 a fair neck t rose up f ! gre5 & gold5 clo?+ ar\nd x1 fair h&s t lay at re/1 long & sl5d] ) wide gold r+s ov] ! jo9ts4 ,siddh>?a saw h[ beautiful %e 01 & 8 he>t laugh$4 ,he b[$ deeply z ! palanqu9 came ne>1 & z he right$ himself he look$ into t fair & noble face1 into ! intellig5t eyes ) _! ar*$ br[s1 he brea!d 9 a fragrance he did n "k4 ,! beautiful woman smil$ & briefly nodd$ to him be=e %e disappe>$ into ! wood1 foll[$ by h] s]v]s4 ,t is a good port5t = ! city ,i am n[ ent]+1 ?\ght ,siddh>?a4 ,he felt ! urge to g into ! wood b !n ?\ght bett] ( x1 & only !n did he become aw>e ( h[ ! s]v]s & maids at ! entrance _h look$ at him1 ) :at contempt1 ) :at mi/ru/1 ) :at dismissal4 ,i am /ill a samana1 he ?\ght1 /ill an ascetic & a begg>4 ,i w n1 z su*1 be all[$ to /ay1 n be all[$ into ! wood4 ,& he laugh$4 ,z soon z he met someone on ! road he ask$ ab\t ! wood & :at ! "n ( t woman 04 ,he le>n$ t x 0 ! grove ( ,kamala1 ! fam\s c\rtesan1 & t %e own$ a h\se 9 ! city z well z ! wood4 ,siddh>?a !n made 8 way into ! city4 ,n[ he knew :]e he %\ld g4 ,9 ord] to arrive !re he all[$ ! city to dr9k him 91 foll[$ ! cr[ds 9 ! /reets1 /ood /ill 9 ! city squ>es1 re/$ on ! /one /eps beside ! riv]4 ,z ev5+ fell he made fri5ds ) a b>b]'s assi/ant :om he _h se5 at "w 9 ! %ade ( a dome4 ,he came across him lat] t day z he pray$ 9 a temple ( ,vi%nu1 & told him ! /ories ab\t ,vi%nu & ,lak%mi4 ,he slept t night among ! boats on ! riv] & !n1 e>ly 9 ! morn+1 be=e ! fir/ cu/om]s arriv$ 9 8 %op1 he _h ! b>b]'s assi/ant %ave him1 cut 8 hair1 comb 8 hair & dress x ) f9e oil4 ,!n he w5t d[n to ba! 9 ! riv]4 ,late t aft]noon :5 ! beautiful ,kamala 0 approa*+ h] grove on h] palanqu9 %e f\nd ,siddh>?a wait+ at ! entrance4 ,he b[$ to h] & accept$ h] greet+ to him4 ,:5 ! tra9 ( s]vants _h ne>ly pass$ him he caught ! att5tion ( ! la/ ( !m & ask$ him to in=m 8 mi/ress t !re 0 a "y brahm9 :o wi%$ to speak ) h]4 ,siddh>?a wait$1 aft] a :ile ! s]vant came back1 invit$ him to foll[ him1 l$ him 9 sil5ce into a pavilion :]e ,kamala lay on a c\* & left him alone ) h]4 8,0 x n y :o /ood outside !re ye/]day & (f]$ me greet+8 ,kamala ask$4 8,inde$1 ,i did see y ye/]day & (f] y greet+40 8,b did y n h a be>d ye/]day1 & long hair & du/ 9 y\r hair80 8,y obs]v$ well1 y saw ev]y?+4 ,y saw ,siddh>?a1 ! brahm9's son :o left 8 home to become a samana & sp5t ?ree ye>s z a samana4 ,n[1 ?\gh1 ,i h left t pa? & come to ?is city1 & y 7 ! fir/ to greet me h]1 ev5 be=e ,i _h set foot 9 x4 ,i c say t x is to y t ,i h come1 o ,kamala6 ,y are ! fir/ woman ) :om ,siddh>?a has spok5 )\t 8 eyes l[]$4 ,i w nev] aga9 l[] my eyes :5 ,i meet ) a beautiful woman40 ,kamala smil$ & play$ ) h] fan ( peacock fea!rs4 ,& %e ask$1 8,& has ,siddh>?a come to me j to say ?is80 8,to say ?is & to give y my ?anks = y\r beauty4 ,& if x w n displease y1 ,kamala1 ,i %\ld l to ask y to be my fri5d & my tea*]1 = ,i /ill "k no?+ ( ! arts 9 :i* y are s exp]t40 ,at ?is ,kamala laugh$ out l\d4 8,?is has nev] happ5$ to me be=e1 my fri5d1 a samana comes to me out ( ! woods & wants to le>n f me6 ,x has nev] happ5$ to me t a long-hair$ samana 9 a ragg$ lo9 clo? has come to me6 ,!re are _m "y m5 :o d come to me1 "s ( !m are ev5 ! sons ( brahm9s1 b !y come we>+ beautiful clo!s & exp5sive %oes1 !y h p]fum$ hair & a purse full ( money4 ,t is :at ! "y m5 look l :o come to me1 samana40 ,siddh>?a said1 8,i am only beg9n+ to le>n f y4 ,b ,i already le>n$ f y ye/]day4 ,i h _h my be>d nicely remov$1 ,i h comb$ my hair & h oil 9 x4 ,! ?+s ,i lack are ! ?+s lea/ important1 mo/ excell5t lady3 f9e clo!s1 f9e %oes1 money 9 a purse4 ,d be aw>e t ,siddh>?a has und]tak5 mu* h>d] tasks ?an trifles l t1 & has a*iev$ !m4 ,:y %\ld ,i n n[ a*ieve ! task ,i und]took ye/]day8 ,to be y\r fri5d & to le>n ! pleasures ( love f y6 ,y w see :at a good /ud5t ,i am1 ,kamala1 ,i h le>n$ _m ?+ t are h>d] ?an :at y h to tea* me4 ,d y say1 !n1 t ,siddh>?a is n good en\gh = y z he is1 ) oil 9 8 hair b )\t clo!s1 )\t %oes1 )\t money80 ,kamala laugh$ out l\d & said1 8,no1 wor?y "y man1 he is n good en\gh6 ,n yet6 ,he mu/ h clo!s1 beautiful clo!s1 %oes mu/ he h1 f9e %oes1 he mu/ h pl5tiful money 9 8 purse1 & he mu/ br+ pres5ts = ,kamala4 ,d y und]/& n[1 samana f ! woods8 ,d y see80 8,i see x well10 ,siddh>?a exclaim$4 8,h[ c\ld ,i h fail$ to see :at has j come f a m\? su* z ?is8 ,y\r m\? is l a fig fre%ly brok5 op51 ,kamala4 ,my m\?1 too1 is r$ & fre%1 x w suit y\r m\? well1 y w see4 ,b1 beautiful ,kamala1 are y n at all afraid ( ?is samana f ! woods :o has come to y to le>n ! arts ( love80 8,:y %\ld ,i be afraid ( a samana1 a /upid samana1 come f ! woods :]e ! jackals live & :o /ill has no idea ( :at wom5 are80 8,! samana is /rong1 ?\gh4 ,he fe>s no?+4 ,he w\ld be able to =ce y1 h&some girl4 ,he c\ld rob y4 ,he c\ld hurt y40 8,no1 samana1 ,i'm n afraid ( t4 ,has a samana or a brahm9 ev] be5 afraid t someone might come & attack him & rob him ( 8 le>n+1 8 piety or 8 deep und]/&+8 ,no1 = ^? ?+s belong to him alone1 & he gives !m to o!rs only :5 he wants to give & to :om he wants to give4 ,x is j ! same = ,kamala & ! joys ( love4 ,kamala's m\? is r$ & lovely1 b if y try to kiss x aga9/ ,kamala's w y w h n a drop ( sweetness f x1 ev5 ?\gh x kn[s h[ to give s mu* sweetness4 ,siddh>?a1 y want to le>n1 s "h is some?+ = y to le>n3 ,y c beg = love1 buy love1 receive love z a gift1 y c f9d x on ! /reet1 b y _c /eal love4 ,?is way t y h inv5t$ = y\rself is wrong4 ,no1 & x w\ld be su* a pity if a *>m+ "y man su* z y\rself grabb$ = x 9 a way t is s mi/ak540 ,siddh>?a smil$ & b[$ to h]4 8,yes1 ,kamala1 y are q "r6 ,x w\ld be a pity4 ,x w\ld be an awful pity4 ,no1 ,i d n want any drop ( sweetness f y\r m\? to be wa/$ on me1 nor any drop ( m9e wa/$ on y6 ,only "o option rema9s = u4 ,siddh>?a mu/ come back :5 he has ! ?+s t1 at pres5t1 are lack+3 clo!s1 %oes1 money4 ,b1 noble ,kamala1 tell me1 c y n give me j "o m piece ( advice80 8,a piece ( advice ,:y n8 ,:o w\ld n be happy to give a piece ( advice to a poor & innoc5t samana1 j come d[n f ! woods :]e ! jackals live80 8,s tell me1 de> ,kamala1 tell me :]e ,i %\ld g s t ,i c obta9 ^! ?ree ?+s z quickly z possible80 8,!re are _m :o w\ld l to "k t1 my fri5d4 ,y w h to d :at y h le>nt to d1 & take money = x1 & clo!s1 & %oes4 ,!re is no o!r way = a poor man to obta9 money4 ,:at c y d !n80 8,i c ?9k4 ,i c wait4 ,i c fa/40 8,is t all80 8,t is all4 ,wait1 ,i c write poetry too4 ,w y give me a kiss 9 ex*ange = a poem80 8,yes1 ,i w give y a kiss1 if ,i l ! poem4 ,:at is ! title ( ?is poem !n80 ,siddh>?a ?\ght ab\t x = a mom5t1 & !n he spoke ^! v]ses3 ,! %ad[y grove :]e w5t ! lovely ,kamala1 ,! entrance !re1 :]e /ood ! br[n-sk9'd samana1 ,!re b[$ he deep1 he saw ! lotus fl[]1 ,& ,kamala ?ank$ him ) smiles & graci\sness4 #8,tis lovely1 ?\ght he1 to (f] praise to gods1 #8,tis loveli] /ill to sacrifice all = h]4 ,! lovely ,kamala clapp$ h] bangl$ h&s4 8,y\r v]ses are lovely1 br[n samana1 & inde$ ,i h no?+ to lose if ,i let y h a kiss = !m40 ,) a ge/ure ( h] eyes %e drew him to h]self1 he leant 8 face to h]s & put 8 m\? on h] m\?1 :i* 0 l a fig newly brok5 op54 ,kamala's kiss 0 long1 & ,siddh>?a felt deep a/oni%m5t at h[ %e taught him1 at h[ wise %e 01 at h[ %e ma/]$ him1 pu%$ him away & drew him back1 & at h[ ?is fir/ kiss w\ld be foll[$ by _m m1 a long1 well ord]$1 well-te/$ s]ies ( kisses1 ea* ( !m diff]5t f ! la/1 t await$ him4 ,he rema9$ /&+1 brea?+ deeply1 & at t mom5t he 0 amaz$ at ! fullness ( k1 ! fullness ( ?+s wor? kn[+1 t promis$ !mselves to him 9 front ( 8 eyes4 8,y\r v]ses are lovely10 ,kamala decl>$1 8if ,i 7 ri* ,i w\ld give y a piece ( gold = !m4 ,?\gh y w f9d x v h>d to ga!r z mu* money z y ne$ by mak+ up v]ses4 ,y w1 aft] all1 ne$ su* a lot ( money if y want to be ! fri5d ( ,kamala40 8,?44! way y kiss1 ,kamala60 ,siddh>?a /amm]$4 8,yes1 ,i am good at t1 ar5't ,i4 ,t is :y ,i am nev] %ort ( clo!s & %oes & jewelry & all ^? nice ?+s4 ,b :at w become ( y8 ,c y ?9k ( no?+ else b ?9k+ & fa/+ & mak+ up v]ses80 8,i "k ! songs = p]=m+ sacrifice1 too10 said ,siddh>?a1 8?\gh ,i no long] wi% to s+ !m4 ,i "k magic spells1 too1 ?\gh ,i no long] wi% to ca/ !m4 ,i h read ! scriptures 4440 8,/op10 ,kamala int]rupt$ him4 8,y c read8 ,& write80 8,( c\rse ,i c4 ,!re are _m :o c40 8,mo/ p _c4 ,ev5 ,i _c4 ,x is v good t y c read & write1 v good4 ,y w ev5 be able to put ! magic spells to good use40 ,at t mom5t a s]vant girl came runn+ & :isp]$ some?+ into h] mi/ress's e>4 8,i h a visitor10 ,kamala decl>$4 ,y mu/ g ,siddh>?a1 quickly1 y ne$ to be aw>e t no-"o %\ld ev] see y "h6 ,i w see y aga9 tomorr[40 ,b %e ord]$ ! maid to give ! pi\s brahm9 a :ite %irt4 ,be=e he knew :at 0 happ5+ to him ! maid _h l$ ,siddh>?a away ?r\gh indirect pa?s to a summ]h\se1 giv5 him ! %irt1 drawn him into ! und]gr[? & emphasis$ to him t he %\ld leave ! grove z quickly z possible & )\t be+ se5 by anyone4 ,he 0 cont5t to d z he _h be5 told4 ,he 0 us$ to ! woods & made 8 way out ( ! grove & ov] ! h$ge )\t a s\nd4 ,he 0 cont5t to make 8 way back into ! t[n1 ! %irt1 roll$ into a bundle1 "u 8 arm4 ,he w5t to ! door ( a travell]s' ho/el & ask$ sil5tly = food1 & sil5tly accept$ a piece ( rice cake4 ,?is is probably ! la/ day1 he ?\ght1 :5 ,i w ev] beg = food4 ,pride sudd5ly flam$ up 9 him4 ,he 0 no long] a samana1 x 0 no long] appropriate = him to beg4 ,he gave ! rice cake to a dog &1 himself1 w5t )\t food4 8,life "h 9 ! _w is simple10 ,siddh>?a ?\ght4 8,!re are no difficulties4 ,:5 ,i 0 /ill a samana ev]y?+ 0 difficult1 x took mu* ef=t &1 9 ! end1 x 0 )\t hope4 ,ev]y?+ is easy n[1 ! lesson 9 kiss+ t ,kamala gave me 0 easy4 ,i ne$ clo!s & money1 t is all1 & aims l t are petty & close at h&1 no-"o w\ld lose any sleep ab\t !m40 ,he _h long s9ce discov]$ :]e ,kamala's h\se 9 ! city 01 & ! foll[+ day he arriv$ at its door4 8,x is go+ well10 %e call$ out to him4 8,y are expect$ by ,kamaswami1 & he is ! ri*e/ bus9essman 9 ! city4 ,if he likes y he w take y into 8 s]vice1 s d be clev]1 won't y1 br[n samana4 ,i h _h o!rs tell him all ab\t y4 ,be fri5dly to him1 he is v p[]ful4 ,b d n be too mode/ ab\t y\rself6 ,i d n want y to be j "o ( 8 s]vants1 y w h to be 8 equal1 or else ,i w n be happy ) y4 ,kamaswami is gett+ old1 he is becom+ complac5t4 ,if he likes y he w place a lot ( tru/ 9 y40 ,siddh>?a ?ank$ h] & laugh$1 & :5 he told h] he _h eat5 no?+ t day or ! previ\s day %e _h bread & fruit br\ght = him to eat4 8,y h be5 lucky10 %e told him z he left1 8"o door aft] ano!r is op5+ up = y4 ,h[ c\ld t be possible8 ,are y p]=m+ magic80 ,siddh>?a said1 8,ye/]day ,i told y ,i "k h[ to ?9k1 to wait1 & to fa/1 b y ?\ght t w\ld be ( no use4 ,b x is v useful1 ,kamala1 y w see4 ,y w see t ! /upid samanas 9 ! wood le>n to "k & to d _m nice ?+s t y d n "k h[ to d4 ,two days ago ,i 0 j a ragg$ begg>1 "o day ago ,i _h already kiss$ ,kamala1 & soon ,i w be a bus9essman ) money & ) all ! ?+s t y ?9k are important40 8,i expect y w10 %e conc$$4 8,b :]e w\ld y be )\t me8 ,:at w\ld become ( y if ,kamala did n help y80 8,de> ,kamala10 said ,siddh>?a1 /&+ up /raight1 8:5 ,i came to y 9 y\r grove x 0 ,i :o made ! fir/ /ep4 ,i 0 resolv$ to le>n ! art ( love f ?is mo/ beautiful ( wom54 ,f ! v mom5t :5 ,i =m$ ?is resolution ,i also knew t ,i w\ld succe$ 9 x4 ,i knew t y w\ld help me1 ,i knew x f ! mom5t ,i fir/ glimps$ y at ! entrance to ! grove40 8,:at if ,i _h n want$ to80 8,y did want to4 ,kamala1 li/53 if y ?r[ a /one into wat] x drops quickly to ! bottom by ! fa/e/ r\te x c4 ,siddh>?a does no?+1 he waits1 he ?9ks1 he fa/s1 b he goes ?r\gh ! ?+s ( ! _w l a /one ?r\gh wat] )\t do+ any?+1 )\t mak+ any ef=t2 he is drawn1 he lets himself fall4 ,8 objective pulls him to itself1 = he all[s no?+ into 8 s\l t might "w aga9/ 8 objective4 ,t1 ,kamala1 is :at ,siddh>?a le>nt among ! samanas4 ,t1 ,kamala1 is :at fools call magic 9 ! supposition t x is p]=m$ by demons4 ,no?+ is ev] p]=m$ by demons1 !re are no demons4 ,anyone c p]=m magic1 anyone c atta9 8 objectives if he is capable ( ?\ght1 if he is capable ( wait+1 if he is capable ( fa/+40 ,kamala li/5$ to him4 ,%e lov$ 8 voice1 %e lov$ ! look 9 8 eyes4 8,maybe1 my fri5d10 %e said quietly1 8y are "r 9 :at y say4 ,maybe x is also true t ,siddh>?a is an attractive man1 t ! look ( him w appeal to wom51 maybe t is :at br+s him all 8 luck40 ,) a kiss1 ,siddh>?a took 8 leave4 8,i hope y are "r1 my tea*]4 ,i hope ! look ( me w always please y1 ,i hope y w always br+ me luck60 ,,among ,,! ,,*ildlike ,,p ,siddh>?a w5t to see ,kamaswami ! bus9essman1 he 0 %[n into a h\se ( opul5ce1 s]vants l$ him pa/ co/ly c>pets into a *amb] :]e he wait$ = ! ma/] ( ! h\se4 ,kamaswami ent]$1 a fa/-mov+1 nimble man ) v grey hair1 ) v clev] & cauti\s eyes & an acquisitive-look+ m\?4 ,ma/] & gue/ (f]$ fri5dly greet+s to ea* o!r4 8,i am told10 ! bus9essman began1 8t y are a brahm91 a man ( le>n+1 b y seek a position 9 ! s]vice ( a bus9essman4 ,h y fall5 into ne$ !n1 brahman1 is t :y y seek a position ( s]vice80 8,no10 said ,siddh>?a1 8,i h n fall5 into ne$ & ,i nev] h _h difficulties4 ,y %\ld be aw>e t ,i come f ! samanas1 among :om ,i liv$ = a long "t40 8,h[ c y n be 9 ne$ if y h come f ! samanas8 ,d samanas n live completely )\t possessions80 8,i am )\t possessions10 said ,siddh>?a1 8if t is :at y mean4 ,c]ta9ly1 ,i am )\t possessions4 ,b ,i am )\t possessions by my own free w1 s ,i am n 9 ne$40 8,:at d y ?9k y w live on if y h no possessions80 8,i h nev] ?\ght ab\t t1 sir4 ,i h be5 )\t possessions = m ?an ?ree ye>s1 & h nev] giv5 a ?\ght to :at ,i %\ld live on40 8,y h liv$ on ! possessions ( o!rs !n1 h y80 8,t is :at "s w\ld say4 ,b a bus9essman1 too1 lives on ! possessions ( o!rs40 8,well said4 ,b he does n take ! possessions ( o!rs = no?+2 he gives !m 8 goods = !m40 8,t does inde$ seem to be _! relation%ip4 ,ea* takes1 ea* gives1 t is life40 8,b1 if ,i may ask3 if y h no possessions :at d y h to give80 8,ea* gives :at he has4 ,! w>rior gives /r5g?1 ! bus9essman gives goods1 ! tea*] gives tea*+1 ! f>m] gives rice1 ! fi%]man gives fi%4 8,v well4 ,& :at is x1 !n1 t y h to give8 ,:at is x t y h le>nt to d80 8,i c ?9k4 ,i c wait4 ,i c fa/40 8,is t all80 8,i ?9k t is all60 8,& :at is ! good ( t8 ,fa/+1 = in/ance1 :at is ! good ( t80 8,x is a lot ( good1 sir4 ,if a man has no?+ to eat !n fa/+ is ! clev]e/ ?+ ( all t he c d4 ,if1 = in/ance1 ,siddh>?a _h nev] le>nt to fa/ he w\ld n[ h to p]=m "s k9d ( s]vice1 be x = y or anyone else1 = hung] w\ld =ce him into x4 ,b n[ ,siddh>?a c wait 9 peace1 he kn[s no impati5ce1 he kn[s no urg5cy1 he c long )/& ! siege ( hung] & c laugh 9 its face4 ,t1 sir1 is ! good ( fa/+40 8,y are "r1 samana4 ,wait a mom5t40 ,kamaswami w5t out & came back ) a roll ( pap] :i* he h&$ to 8 gue/1 ask+1 8,c y read ?is80 ,siddh>?a look$ at ! roll on :i* a bus9ess contract 0 writt5 & began to read out :at x said4 8,excell5t10 said ,kamaswami4 8,& n[ w y write some?+ on ?is %eet = me80 ,he gave him p5 & pap]1 & ,siddh>?a wrote & gave ! %eet ( pap] back4 ,kamaswami read1 8,writ+ is good1 ?9k+ is bett]4 ,clev]ness is good1 pati5ce is bett]40 8,y c write v well10 ! bus9essman prais$ him4 ,we w h a lot to talk ab\t toge!r4 ,= today1 ?\gh1 ,i ask y to be my gue/ & to take up resid5ce 9 ?is h\se40 ,siddh>?a ?ank$ him & accept$ 8 (f]1 & n[ he liv$ 9 ! m]*ant's h\se4 ,clo!s 7 br\ght to him1 & %oes1 & a s]vant prep>$ 8 ba? = him e day4 ,twice a day a copi\s meal 0 br\ght 91 b ,siddh>?a ate only once a day & he nei!r ate fle% nor drank w9e4 ,kamaswami told him ab\t 8 bus9ess1 %[$ him 8 goods & 8 w>eh\ses1 let him see 8 acc\nts4 ,siddh>?a le>n$ _m new ?+s1 he li/5$ mu* & spoke little4 ,he rememb]$ ! words ( ,kamala & 0 nev] ! m]*ant's subord9ate1 he =c$ him to see him z 8 equal1 ev5 to treat him z m ?an 8 equal4 ,kamaswami took great c>e ov] 8 bus9ess1 (t5 ev5 %[+ passion = x1 b ,siddh>?a saw x all z a game4 ,he made ! ef=t to le>n ! rules ( ! game1 b ! cont5t ( ! game did n t\* 8 he>t4 ,siddh>?a _h n be5 long 9 ,kamaswami's h\se be=e he took "p 9 its own]'s bus9ess affairs4 ,e day1 b at ! "t %e /ipulat$1 he w\ld visit ! beautiful ,kamala1 we>+ f9e clo!s1 f9e %oes1 & he soon began also to br+ h] pres5ts4 ,he le>n$ a lot f h] r$ & skillful m\?4 ,he le>n$ a lot f h] g5tle & supple h&4 ,9 matt]s ( love ,siddh>?a 0 /ill a *ild1 he 0 incl9$ to ?r[ himself bl9dly & insatiably into 8 pleasures z if into a bottomless pit1 b ,kamala taught him f ! v basics1 %e taught him t y _c receive pleasure )\t giv+ pleasure1 t e ge/ure1 e /roke1 e t\*1 e look1 e t9y "p ( ! body has its secret1 & wak+ ^? secrets w br+ happ9ess to :oev] kn[s ab\t !m4 ,%e taught him t lov]s %\ld nev] sep>ate imm$iately aft] ! celebration ( _! love1 n )\t ea* admir+ ! o!r1 n )\t hav+ conqu]$ & hav+ be5 conqu]$1 s t nei!r w feel ov]-sat$ or ab&on$ or cross1 or feel t "o has misus$ ! o!r or feel to h be5 misus$4 ,! h\rs he sp5t ) ?is clev] & beautiful arti/ 7 a "t ( wond]1 he became h] /ud5t1 h] lov]1 h] fri5d4 ,! value & mean+ ( 8 life n[ lay "h ) ,kamala1 n ) ! bus9ess affairs ( ,kamaswami4 ,! bus9essman delegat$ ! writ+ ( important lett]s & contracts to him1 & =m$ ! habit ( seek+ 8 advice on all important decisions4 ,he saw quickly t ,siddh>?a knew little ab\t rice & wool1 ab\t %ipp+ & comm]ce1 b he saw t :at he did br\ght good luck1 he saw t ,siddh>?a knew f> m ?an he ab\t peace & equanimity1 ab\t ! art ( li/5+1 & saw 8 acum5 9 und]/&+ /rang]s4 8,?is brahm910 he said to a fri5d1 8is n a prop] bus9essman & he nev] w be1 8 s\l nev] goes into affairs ) any passion4 ,b he has ! secret ( p to :om success comes ( itself4 ,maybe x is because he 0 born "u a good />1 maybe x is magic1 & maybe x is some?+ he le>n$ :5 he liv$ ) ! samanas4 ,he only ev] seems to be play+ at bus9ess1 bus9ess nev] seems to p5etrate him1 nev] to be 8 ma/]1 he nev] fe>s failure & he is nev] bo!r$ by mak+ a loss40 ,! fri5d advis$ ! bus9essman1 8,give him a ?ird ( ! pr(it ( all ! bus9ess he does = y1 & let him be> ! same proportion ( ! losses :5 !y happ54 ,t w make him m en?usia/ic40 ,kamaswami foll[$ ?is advice4 ,b ,siddh>?a seem$ little bo!r$ by x4 ,if he made a pr(it he accept$ x ) indiff]5ce2 if he made a loss he w\ld laugh & say1 8,oh look1 t did n g well60 ,x did inde$ seem t he 0 indiff]5t to affairs ( bus9ess4 ,"o day he w5t out to a village to buy up a l>ge h>ve/ ( rice1 b :5 he arriv$ ! rice _h already be5 sold to ano!r h&l]4 ,siddh>?a none!less rema9$ = sev]al days 9 ! village1 mak+ ! f>m]s 8 gue/s1 giv+ copp] co9s to _! *ildr51 att5d$ a w$d+ c]emony1 & came back f 8 j\rney entirely happy & cont5t4 ,kamaswami accus$ him ( squ&]+ "t & money by n hav+ come /raight back4 ,siddh>?a answ]$1 8,d n tell me (f1 my fri5d6 ,no?+ has ev] be5 a*iev$ by tell+ anyone (f4 ,if ,i h caus$ y to make a loss j let me be> x4 ,i am v satisfi$ ) ?is j\rney4 ,i met _m new p1 a brahm9 is n[ my fri5d1 *ildr5 play$ on my knees1 f>m]s %[$ me _! fields1 no-"o treat$ me !re l a bus9essman40 8,t s\nds all v nice10 exclaim$ ,kamaswami grudg+ly1 8b ,i %\ld h ?\ght t a bus9essman is :at y actually are6 ,or did y g out !re j = y\r own pleasure80 8,c]ta9ly10 laugh$ ,siddh>?a1 8c]ta9ly x 0 = my own pleasure t ,i w5t !re4 ,:y else w\ld ,i h gone !re8 ,i h met new p1 se5 new places1 enjoy$ tru/ & fri5dl9ess1 f\nd fri5d%ip4 ,li/5 my fri5d1 if ,i 7 ,kamaswami ,i w\ld h hurri$ back z soon z ,i saw t my attempt to pur*ase 0 9 va91 ,i w\ld h be5 full ( annoyance1 & 9 t case !n "t & money really w\ld h gone to wa/e4 ,z x is ,i h sp5t sev]al days well1 ,i h le>n$ ?+s1 ,i h enjoy$ ! company ( fri5ds1 ,i h done no h>m to myself or anyone else ei!r by gett+ cross or by be+ 9 too mu* ( a hurry4 ,& if ,i ev] g !re aga91 to buy a h>ve/ 9 advance = in/ance or = any o!r reason1 ,i w h a fri5dly welcome f *e]ful p1 & ,i w congratulate myself = n hav+ be5 ru%$ or bad temp]$ ?is "t4 ,s leave ?+s well en\gh alone1 my fri5d1 don't h>m y\rself by tell+ me (f6 ,if ! day ev] comes :5 y see t ,siddh>?a has br\ght y any h>m !n j say ! ^w & ,siddh>?a w g on 8 way4 ,b till !n let u j be cont5t ) ea* o!r z we are40 ,! bus9essman tri$ to p]suade ,siddh>?a by say+ he 0 eat+ 81 ,kamaswami's1 bread1 b ?is too 0 9 va94 ,x 0 8 own bread t he ate1 or r bo? ( !m ate ! bread ( o!rs1 ! bread ( ev]yone4 ,siddh>?a nev] _h an e> = ,kamaswami's worries1 & ,kamaswami made _m worries = himself4 ,if a deal 0 9 process t might g badly1 if goods dispat*$ seem$ to h be5 lo/1 if a debtor seem$ unable to pay1 ,kamaswami 0 nev] able to conv9ce 8 co-work] t x w\ld be ( any use to speak words ( ang] or conc]n1 to furr[ "o's br[1 to lose any sleep4 ,"o "t :5 ,kamaswami reproa*$ ,siddh>?a ! claim t ev]y?+ he knew he _h le>n$ f him1 ,siddh>?a repli$1 8,don't be s ridicul\s6 ,:at ,i h le>nt f y is ! price ( a basket ( fi% & h[ mu* int]e/ y c exact = money y l5d4 ,^? ?+s are y\r k9d ( k4 ,y h nev] taught me to ?9k1 my de> ,kamaswami1 x might be bett] if y want$ to le>n ?9k+ f me40 ,x 0 true t ,siddh>?a's he>t 0 n 9 bus9ess4 ,bus9ess 0 good = him to obta9 money = ,kamala1 & he obta9$ mu* m ?an he ne$$4 ,moreov]1 ,siddh>?a 0 only conc]n$ ) p4 ,_! bus9ess1 craft1 worries1 pleasures & follies _h e>li] be5 z /range & di/ant z ! moon1 b n[ he took an int]e/ 9 !m4 ,he _h no difficulty 9 talk+ ) ev]yone1 to live ) ev]yone1 to le>n f ev]yone1 b ! easi] ?is 0 ! m he became aw>e t !re 0 some?+ t sep>at$ him f !m1 & t 0 because he _h be5 a samana4 ,he saw h[ p liv$ _! lives 9 a way t 0 l *ildr5 or animals1 some?+ he bo? lov$ & despis$4 ,he saw _! /riv+s1 saw _! suff]+s & saw !m turn grey ab\t ?+s t seem$ to him n wor? t price1 ab\t money1 ab\t petty pleasures1 matt]s ( petty hon\r1 he saw !m %\t+ & insult+ ea* o!r1 he saw !m lam5t+ = pa9s :i* a samana w\ld m]ely smile at1 & = losses :i* a samana does n feel4 ,he 0 op5 to ev]y?+ t ^! p br\ght him4 ,! bus9essman 0 welcome :o br\ght canvas = him to buy1 ! debtor 0 welcome :o came ask+ = a loan1 ! begg> 0 welcome :o sp5t an h\r to tell him ! /ory ( 8 pov]ty b :o 0 n half z poor z any samana4 ,he behav$ t[>d ! ri* =eign bus9essman 9 ! same way z to ! s]vant :o %av$ him or ! /reet sell]1 & w\ld all[ him to *eat him ( a few petty co9s :5 he b\ght bananas4 ,:5 ,kamaswami came to him to lam5t 8 tr\bles or to accuse him ( hav+ h&l$ a deal badly he li/5$ to him ) *e]ful int]e/1 wond]$ ab\t him1 tri$ to und]/& him1 ackn[l$g$ t he 0 "r on "s small po9ts :5 he _h to1 & !n he w\ld turn away to ! next p]son :o want$ 8 att5tion4 ,& !re 7 _m :o did want x1 _m :o came to d bus9ess ) him1 _m :o came to *eat him1 _m :o came to obta9 in=mation f him1 _m :o want$ 8 pity1 _m :o want$ 8 advice4 ,he gave advice1 he %[$ pity1 he gave advice1 he all[$ himself to be *eat$1 slightly1 & all ?is game1 & all ! passion ) :i* all ^! p play$ x1 occupi$ 8 ?\ghts j z mu* z1 at "o "t1 ?\ghts ab\t ! gods & ab\t ,brahman4 ,f "t to "t he w\ld feel1 deep 9 8 brea/1 a fa9t & t5d] voice t g5tly admoni%$1 g5tly compla9$1 s g5tle he 0 h>dly aw>e ( x4 ,!n he w\ld become aw>e = an h\r ( :at an odd life he 0 lead+1 t he 0 do+ all ^! ?+s j z a game1 t al?\gh he 0 *e]ful & felt mom5ts ( pleasure 8 real life 0 fl[+ pa/ )\t t\*+ him4 ,he play$ ) 8 bus9ess affairs & ! p he came into contact ) 9 ! same way z a sportsman plays ) 8 ball1 he wat*$ !m & f\nd fun 9 s do+2 9 8 he>t1 9 ! s\rce ( 8 be+1 he 0 n pres5t4 ,!re 0 a place :]e t s\rce fl[$1 b h[ f> t place 0 f him1 fl[+ & fl[+ out ( sight1 no long] _h any?+ to d ) 8 life4 ,& !re 7 times :5 he 0 al>m$ at ?\ghts ( ?is sort1 & he wi%$ he too c\ld be grant$ a passion = all ! *ildi% to activity ( ! day1 to take "p 9 x ) 8 he>t1 truly to live1 truly to d1 truly to enjoy life in/ead ( j /&+ at "o side ( x z an onlook]4 ,b he always w5t back to ! beautiful ,kamala1 le>n$ ! art ( love1 practis$ ! cult ( lu/ by :i*1 m ?an any:]e else1 giv+ & tak+ become ! same ?+1 he talk$ ) h]1 le>n$ f h]1 gave h] 8 advice1 accept$ h] advice4 ,%e und]/ood him bett] ?an ,gov9da once _h1 %e 0 m l him ?an ,gov9da _h be54 ,"o day he said to h]1 8,y are l me1 y are diff]5t f mo/ p4 ,y are ,kamala1 no?+ else1 & deep inside y !re is peace & a refuge :]e y c g at any "t & feel t t is y\r place1 j z ,i c4 ,few p h t1 ?\gh all p c\ld h x40 8,n all p are clev]10 said ,kamala4 8,no10 said ,siddh>?a1 8t is n :at x is ab\t4 ,kamaswami is j z clev] z ,i am1 b he has no place ( refuge )9 himself4 ,o!rs h "o1 p ^: und]/&+ is l t ( a small *ild4 ,mo/ p1 ,kamala1 are l a leaf fall+ ?r\gh ! air & is bl[n f side to side1 x twi/s1 x /agg]s1 till x hits ! gr\nd4 ,!re are o!rs1 ?\gh n _m1 :o are l ! />s1 !y foll[ a fix$ c\rse1 no w9d bl[s !m1 !y h _! laws & _! pa? set )9 !mselves4 ,all ! le>n$ m5 & all ! samanas - & ,i h kn[n _m ( !m - _h "o ( ?is sort among !m1 a p]fect "o1 & ,i c nev] =get him4 ,he is ,gotama1 ! noble "o :o dissem9at$ t tea*+4 ,?\s&s ( "y m5 li/5 to 8 tea*+s e day1 !y foll[ 8 precepts e h\r ( e day1 b ea* "o ( !m is a fall+ leaf1 !y d n h law & tea*+s )9 !mselves40 ,kamala look$ at him ) a smile4 8,y are talk+ ab\t him aga910 %e said1 8y h y\r samana ?\ghts aga940 ,siddh>?a 0 sil5t1 & !y play$ ! game ( love1 "o ( ! ?irty or =ty diff]5t games t ,kamala knew4 ,h] body 0 z supple z a jagu>'s1 & z ! b[ ( a hunt]2 :oev] le>n$ ! art ( love f h] came to "k _m joys1 _m secrets4 ,%e play$ long ) ,siddh>?a1 %e drew him close1 pu%$ him back1 manipulat$ him1 envelop$ him3 he enjoy$ 8 ma/]y until he _h be5 defeat$ & !n1 exhau/$1 he w\ld re/ at h] side4 ,! c\rtesan leant ov] him1 look$ long into 8 face1 into 8 n[ tir$ eyes4 8,y are ! be/ lov]10 %e said ?\ghtfully1 8,i h ev] kn[n4 ,y are /rong] ?an ! o!rs1 m supple1 m will+4 ,y h le>nt my art well1 ,siddh>?a4 ,"o day1 :5 ,i am old]1 ,i w\ld l to h a *ild f y4 ,b1 my love1 y h nev] /opp$ be+ a samana1 & t means y d n love me1 !re is no-"o :om y love4 ,am ,i "r80 8,y might well be "r10 said ,siddh>?a1 tir$4 8,i am l y4 ,y d n love ei!r - if y did1 h[ c\ld y c>ry on ) love mak+ z a craft8 ,p]haps p l y & me _c love4 ,! *ildlike p c2 t is _! secret40 ,,sans>a ,siddh>?a _h sp5t a long "t 9 ! _w ( pleasure1 ?\gh )\t be+ a "p ( x4 ,9 8 ye>s z a devot$ samana he _h put 8 s5ses to dea? b n[ !y woke anew1 he _h ta/$ ri*es1 ta/$ voluptu\sness1 ta/$ p[]2 b 9 8 he>t he _h rema9$ a samana ?r\gh\t ?is l5g?y "t1 j z ,kamala1 clev] ,kamala1 _h se54 ,8 life _h be5 direct$ by ! art ( ?9k+1 ( wait+1 ( fa/+1 & x cont9u$ to be s4 ,! p ( ! _w1 ! *ildlike p1 cont9u$ to be /rang]s = him1 j z he 0 a /rang] = !m4 ,! ye>s w5t by & ,siddh>?a1 wrapp$ 9 afflu5ce1 b>ely notic$ h[ ea* ( !m pass$ away4 ,he _h become ri*1 he _h long be5 ! own] ( 8 own h\se ) s]vants & a g>d5 by ! riv] j outside ! city4 ,p lik$ him1 !y came to him :5 !y ne$$ money or advice1 b1 ap>t f ,kamala1 no-"o 0 close to him4 ,t l(ty1 bright aw>5ess t he _h once exp]i5c$ at ! high po9t ( 8 y\? 9 ! days aft] ,gotama's s]mon1 ! "t s9ce ! sep>ation f ,gov9da1 t taut expectation1 t pr\d indep5d5ce )\t tea*+s & )\t a tea*]1 t read9ess to he> ! voice ( ! div9e f _m s\rces1 includ+ 8 own he>t1 all ?is _h sl[ly turn$ into m]e memories1 _h become some?+ ephem]al2 ! s\rce ( hol9ess t _h once be5 ne> to _h him become some?+ di/ant1 some?+ ^: murmur+s _h become quiet1 ?\gh x _h once murmur$ )9 him4 ,x 0 true t mu* ( :at he _h le>n$ f ! samanas1 t he _h le>n$ f ,gotama1 t he _h le>n$ f 8 fa!r ! ,brahm91 _h rema9$ )9 9 him ?r\gh ?is "t3 a mode/ life1 ! joy ( ?9k+1 h\rs 9 m$itation1 secret k ( 8 self1 ! et]nal self :i* is nei!r body nor aw>5ess4 ,mu* ( x rema9$ )9 him1 b ! re/ _h little by little sunk d[n & become cov]$ 9 du/4 ,l ! pott]'s :eel t1 once set turn+1 w cont9ue long to turn1 & only sl[ly w tire & lose its motion1 ! :eel ( asceticism 9 ,siddh>?a's s\l1 ! :eel ( ?9k+1 ! :eel ( disc]nm5t1 cont9u$ to turn & 0 /ill turn+1 b x turn$ sl[ly & hesitantly & 0 close to /opp+4 ,sl[ly1 l damp t soaks into ! trunk ( a dy+ tree1 sl[ly fill+ x & mak+ x decay1 ! _w & apa?y _h insidi\sly soak$ into ,siddh>?a's s\l1 sl[ly fill+ x & mak+ x heavy1 mak+ x tir$4 ,8 s5ses1 ?\gh1 ga9$ vig\r1 = !y _h le>n$ mu*1 exp]i5c$ mu*4 ,siddh>?a _h le>n$ h[ to d bus9ess1 h[ to ex]cise p[] ov] p1 to h pleasure ) wom51 he _h le>n$ to we> nice clo!s1 to give ord]s to s]vants1 to ba! 9 p]fum$ wat]4 ,he _h le>n$ to eat da9ty & c>efully prep>$ foods1 ev5 to eat fi% & meat & f[l1 spices & sweet ?+s1 to dr9k w9e t makes y we>y & =getful4 ,he _h le>n$ to play ) dice & on ! *ess bo>d1 to obs]ve danc]s1 to be c>ri$ on a litt] & to sleep on a s(t b$4 ,b he _h always felt he 0 diff]5t f o!rs1 sup]ior to !m1 he always look$ on !m ) a t\* ( laught]1 ) a t\* ( je]+ contempt1 ) t v contempt t a samana always feels = p ( ! _w4 ,:5 ,kamaswami 0 9 a bad mood1 :5 he became qu>relsome1 :5 he felt he _h be5 treat$ badly1 :5 he felt ov]-burd5$ ) ! worries ( bus9ess1 ,siddh>?a _h always f\nd x laughable4 ,b sl[ly & imp]ceptibly1 z h>ve/ times & ra9y seasons came & w5t1 8 contemptu\s laught] became m tir$1 8 s5se ( sup]iority became subdu$4 ,only sl[ly1 !re among 8 increas+ weal?1 ,siddh>?a _h tak5 on some?+ ( ! "* ( ! *ildlike p1 some?+ ( _! naivety1 some?+ ( _! anxiety4 ,& yet he envi$ !m1 & ! m l !m he became ! m he envi$ !m4 ,he envi$ !m = ! "o ?+ he did n h & !y did h1 he envi$ !m = ! importance !y attribut$ to _! lives1 he envi$ ! passion !y felt 9 _! joys & sorr[s1 envi$ ! worri$ b sweet happ9ess !y _h 9 _! nev]-end+ loves4 ,_! love = !mselves1 = wom51 = _! *ildr51 = money or hon\rs1 = hopes & plans1 ^! p 7 always 9 love ) some?+4 ,b x 0 n f !m t he le>n$ ?is1 especially n _! *ildlike joys & *ildlike follies2 :at he le>n$ f !m 0 ! unpleasant ?+s1 ! ?+s he himself despis$4 ,m & m (t51 9 ! morn+ aft] sp5d+ ! ev5+ ) fri5ds he w\ld lie long 9 b$ feel+ dull & tir$4 ,:5 ,kamaswami bor$ him ) 8 worries he w\ld become irritable & impati5t4 ,:5 he lo/ a game play+ at dice he w\ld laugh mu* too l\dly4 ,8 face 0 /ill clev]] & m spiritual ?an o!rs' b x seldom laugh$1 & "o by "o x took on ! features s (t5 se5 9 ! face ( ri* p1 features ( discont5t1 ( poor heal?1 ( surl9ess1 ( apa?y1 ( indiff]5ce to o!rs4 ,sl[ly1 ! sickness ( ! s\l se5 9 ri* p took hold ( him4 ,we>9ess sank ov] ,siddh>?a l a veil1 l a light mi/ t ) e day became a little heavi]1 e mon? a little ?ick]1 e ye> a little heavi]4 ,z :5 a new g>m5t becomes old ) "t1 loses its bright col\rs ) "t1 ga!rs /a9s1 ga!rs creases1 becomes worn at its hems &1 "h & !re1 beg9s to %[ places t are worn & ?readb>e1 s ,siddh>?a's new life t he _h begun :5 he took 8 leave ( ,gov9da _h become old1 ) ! quickly pass+ ye>s x _h lo/ its col\r & its %e51 x _h ga!r$ /a9s & creases4 ,?is ugly sight 0 hidd5 at ! base ( x b "h & !re x c\ld already be se51 disappo9tm5t & disgu/ lay 9 wait = him4 ,siddh>?a did n notice4 ,he notic$ only t ! bright & c]ta9 voice ( 8 inside :i* once _h wok5 )9 him & _h l$ him ?r\gh 8 ye>s ( spl5d\r _h n[ become sil5t4 ,! _w _h tak5 possession ( him1 fun1 lu/1 apa?y1 & la/ly t v vice t he _h mo/ despis$ & = :i* he _h _h ! mo/ contempt because ( its folly1 gre$4 ,ev5 prop]ty1 ! own+ ( ri*es1 _h f9ally tak5 hold ( him1 x 0 no long] a frivol\s game1 x _h become 8 *a9s & 8 burd54 ,x 0 an odd & insidi\s pa? t _h l$ ,siddh>?a into ?is f9al & mo/ contemptible ( dep5d5cies1 play+ dice4 ,to be exact1 z soon z1 9 8 he>t1 he _h ceas$ to be a samana1 he _h begun to gamble = money & da9ty luxuries4 ,he _h previ\sly despis$ ^! ?+s1 he _h previ\sly tak5 "p 9 !m ) laugh+ indiff]5ce z "o ( ! ?+s done by ! *ildlike p1 b n[ he took "p ) gr[+ aggressivity & passion4 ,o!r gambl]s view$ him ) fe>1 few w\ld d>e to play aga9/ him because ! /akes he laid d[n 7 s high & audaci\s4 ,some?+ 9 8 he>t compell$ him to gamble1 money 0 some?+ mis]able & :5 he lo/1 :5 he ?rew x away1 x br\ght him a haughty pleasure1 !re 0 no m o/5tati\s way1 no m contemptu\s way t he c\ld display 8 disda9 = ri*es1 ! idol ( bus9essm54 ,s he gambl$ high & )\t res]ve1 he hat$ himself = ?is1 he despis$ himself = x1 he ?rew x 9 by ! ?\s&1 ?rew x away by ! ?\s&1 he lo/ money1 lo/ jewelry1 lo/ a c\ntry h\se1 !n he won aga91 !n he lo/ aga94 ,! anxiety1 e t]rible & oppressive anxiety he felt :ile ?r[+ ! dice = worry+ly high /akes 0 some?+ he lov$1 he always s\ght to r5ew x1 always to raise x1 always to tickle x a little high]1 = x 0 9 ?is feel+ alone t he c\ld feel some?+ l happ9ess1 some?+ l inebriation1 some?+ l a high] k9d ( life 9 among ! sat$1 lukew>m1 insipid life he l$4 ,e "t he lo/ a l>ge am\nt he ?\ght ( ga9+ new ri*es1 ?rew himself into bus9ess ) new vig\r & press$ 8 debtors h>d] to make !m pay1 = he wi%$ to gamble aga91 he want$ to squ&] aga91 want$1 aga91 to display ! contempt he _h = ri*es4 ,siddh>?a no long] _h ! indiff]5ce he _h _h :5 he lo/1 he no long] _h ! pati5ce he _h %[n = bad debtors1 no long] _h ! goodwill he _h practis$ t[>d begg>s1 no long] _h ! joy he _h felt :5 he made gifts or l5t money to !m :o ask$1 kn[+ x w\ld n be repaid4 ,he w\ld /ake t5 ?\s& on a ?r[ ( ! dice & laugh :5 he lo/ x1 b 9 8 bus9ess affairs he became /rict] & petti]1 & at night he sometimes dreamt ( money6 ,:5ev] he awoke f ?is vile en*antm5t1 :5ev] he look$ 9 ! mirror on ! b$room wall & saw 8 face *ang$ & ugli]1 :5ev] he felt beset by %ame & disgu/1 !n he w\ld flee f x1 he w\ld flee into new games ( *ance1 flee into ! numbness ( lu/1 ! numbness ( w9e1 & f !re flee back into pil+ up m possessions4 ,he ran ar\nd 9 ?is mean+less circle until he 0 tir$1 until he 0 old1 until he 0 ill4 ,until he 0 admoni%$ 9 a dream4 ,he _h sp5t ! ev5+ h\rs ) ,kamala 9 h] gorge\s pleasure g>d54 ,!y _h sat talk+ "u ! trees1 & ,kamala (f]$ "s well-consid]$ words1 words ) sorr[ & tir$ness hidd5 beh9d !m4 ,%e _h ask$ him to tell h] ab\t ,gotama & c\ld n he> en\gh ab\t him1 ! cl>ity ( 8 eyes1 ! quiet beauty ( 8 m\?1 ! b5evol5ce ( 8 smile1 ! peace ( 8 walk4 ,he _h to tell h] ab\t ! noble buddha = great l5g?s ( "t1 & ,kamala w\ld sigh & say1 8,"o day1 p]haps "o day soon1 ,i w g & foll[ ?is buddha too4 ,i w give my pleasure g>d5 to him & take refuge 9 8 tea*+s40 ,b !n %e w\ld tease him1 %e w\ld lead him into playful lovemak+1 %e w\ld *a9 him to h] ) a passion t 0 pa9ful1 ) bit+1 ) te>s1 z if %e want$1 j once m1 to press ! la/ drops ( sweetness out ( ?is life ( va9 & %ort-liv$ fun4 ,nev] _h x be5 s exceptionally cle> to ,siddh>?a h[ close lu/ is to dea?4 ,!n he w\ld lie at h] side & ,kamala's face w\ld come close to 81 &1 cle>] ?an ev] be=e1 he w\ld read a message ( anxiety "u h] eyes & at ! corn]s ( h] m\?1 a script ( f9e l9es1 ( slight wr9kles1 a script rem9isc5t ( ,autumn & ( gr[+ old j z ,siddh>?a 0 himself gr[+ old1 = he 0 n[ 9 8 =ties & _h notic$ grey hairs "h & !re among ! black ones4 ,tir$ness c\ld be read on ,kamala's beautiful face1 tir$ness f travel+ a long road t has no happy end+1 tir$ness & ! />t ( h] decl9e1 & hidd5 !re1 n yet spok5 (1 0 an anxiety t %e 0 n yet aw>e (3 fe> ( old age1 fe> ( ! ,autumn1 fe> ( ! c]ta9ty ( dea?4 ,he _h tak5 8 leave ( h] ) a sigh1 8 s\l full ( le?>gy1 full ( conceal$ anxiety4 ,"o "t1 :5 ,siddh>?a _h sp5t an ev5+ at home ) w9e & danc+ girls1 :5 he _h play$ ! sup]ior ) 8 pe]s1 ?\gh he no long] 0 _! sup]ior1 :5 he _h drunk a great deal ( w9e &1 tir$ b excit$1 he _h n gone to seek 8 re/ until long aft] midnight1 he f\nd himself 9 a /ate ( despair & 0 close to te>s4 ,he wait$ long 9 ! va9 pursuit ( sleep1 8 he>t full ( a sorr[ t he ?\ght he c\ld no long] be>1 full ( disgu/ t seem$ to p]meate e "p ( him l ! vile ta/e ( lukew>m w9e1 l ! ov]-sweet & vapid music1 l ! ov]-s(t smiles on ! danc]s' faces1 l ! ov]-sweet sc5t on _! hair & _! brea/s4 ,b :at disgu/$ him m ?an any?+ else 0 himself1 8 p]fum$ hair1 ! smell ( w9e 9 8 m\?1 ! tir$ slackness & ! dullness ( 8 sk94 ,j z "o :o has eat5 or drunk too mu* w endure 8 vomit+ & ev5 feel glad at ! relief x br+s1 s ,siddh>?a1 unable to sleep1 felt a gu% ( mon/r\s disgu/ & wi%$ to be reliev$ ( ^! pleasures1 ^! habits1 ?is entire life ( mean+lessness4 ,x 0 only :5 ! fir/ light ( morn+ came1 & ! activities 9 ! /reet 9 front ( 8 h\se began to wake1 t he dr[s$1 = a few mom5ts felt "s slight assuagem5t ( 8 angui%1 f\nd some?+ resembl+ sleep4 ,& t 0 :5 he began to dream3 ,kamala _h a small & r>e songbird t %e kept 9 a gold5 cage4 ,x 0 ( ?is songbird t he dream$4 ,he dreamt3 ! bird _h become sil5t1 ?\gh x _h =m]ly always sung 9 ! morn+ "t1 & :5 he notic$ ?is he w5t to ! cage & look$ 94 ,!re he saw ! little bird ly+ dead & /iff on ! floor4 ,he took x out1 held x = a :ile 9 8 h& & !n ?rew x away1 out into ! /reet4 ,at t mom5t he felt horror at :at he _h done & felt su* pa9 9 8 he>t z if he _h ?r[n out ev]y?+ ( any value1 ev]y?+ ( any good ab\t himself :5 he ?rew ?is bird out4 ,wak+ f ?is dream he felt himself possess$ by a deep sorr[4 ,wor?less1 x seem$ to him1 wor?less & mean+less 0 ! life he _h be5 lead+2 no?+ liv+1 no?+ t 0 9 anyway beautiful or wor? keep+ _h rema9$ ) him4 ,he /ood !re alone & empty1 l a ca/away on ! %ore4 ,9 l[ spirits1 ,siddh>?a betook himself to "o ( ! pleasure g>d5s he own$1 he lock$ ! gate1 sat d[n "u a mango tree1 felt ! dea? 9 8 he>t & bleakness 9 8 he>t1 he sat & felt h[ some?+ 9 him 0 dy+1 wilt+1 com+ to its end4 ,gradually he ga!r$ 8 ?\ghts toge!r &1 9 8 m9d1 walk$ once m along ! :ole ( 8 life's pa?1 beg9n+ at ! fir/ day :5 he 0 able to ?9k4 ,:5 0 x t he _h ev] be5 happy1 felt any real joy8 ,oh yes1 he _h exp]i5c$ ^! ?+s _m times4 ,he _h ta/$ t joy :51 z a boy1 he _h be5 prais$ by ! brahm9s & he felt x 9 8 he>t1 8,!re is a pa? t foll[s f recitation ( holy scripture1 f argum5t ) ! le>n$ ones1 f excell+ :5 assi/+ 9 ! p]=mance ( sacrifice10 ,!n1 :at he felt 9 8 he>t 01 8,!re is a pa? = y to foll[1 ! pa? to :i* y are call$1 ! gods are expect+ y40 ,& aga9 :5 he 0 a "y man because 8 ?\ghts rose ev] high]1 !y tore out & away f ! commonplace _m :o _h ! same objectives1 because he 0 9 accord ) ! suff]+s & ! mean+s ( ,brahman1 because :5 he atta9$ new wisdom x w\ld only ar\se ?ir/ = m k1 because1 held 9 ?is ?ir/1 held 9 ! pa9 ( ?is self1 he _h always aga9 felt1 8,=w>d6 ,=w>d6 ,y h receiv$ ! call60 ,he _h accept$ ?is call :5 he left home & *ose ! life ( a samana1 & aga9 :5 he left ! samanas & s\ght ! pa? ( p]fection1 al?\gh t 0 also a pa? into ! unkn[n4 ,h[ long 0 x1 n[1 t he _h n he>d t voice1 h[ long 0 x s9ce he _h atta9$ any new heights1 h[ level & b>r5 _h 8 pa? become8 ,x _h be5 _m ye>s1 ye>s )\t any high] objective1 no ?ir/+1 no ris+1 cont5t ) petty pleasures & none!less nev] satisfi$6 ,?r\gh\t all ^! ye>s1 )\t kn[+ x himself1 he _h /riv5 to be a p]son l ^! masses1 he _h long$ = x1 to be l ^! *ildr5 & 9 ! process _h made a life = himself t 0 mu* m poor & mis]able ?an !irs1 = _! objectives 7 n 8 objectives1 nor 7 _! worries 8 worries1 all ?is _w ( p l ,kamaswami _h be5 j a game = him1 a dance to be look$ at1 a com$y4 ,kamala alone 0 de> to him1 0 some?+ he valu$ - b 0 %e /ill8 ,did he /ill ne$ him1 or he h]8 ,7 !y n play+ a game )\t end8 ,0 x necess>y to live a life = t8 ,no1 x 0 n necess>y8 ,! "n ( ?is game 0 sans>a1 a *ildr5's game1 a game t x 0 good to play "o1 twice1 t5 times - b ov] & ov] aga98 ,!n ,siddh>?a came to see t ! game 0 at its end1 t he 0 no long] able to play x4 ,a %udd] ran d[n 8 body1 9 8 inn]mo/ p>ts1 z he felt t some?+ _h di$4 ,all t day he sat "u ! mango tree ?9k+ ( 8 fa!r1 ?9k+ ( ,gov9da1 ?9k+ ( ,gotama4 ,_h he really _h to leave ^! p & become a ,kamaswami8 ,he /ill sat !re z night began to fall4 ,:5 look$ up & saw ! />s he ?\ght1 8,"h ,i am1 sitt+ "u my own mango tree1 9 my own pleasure g>d540 ,a fa9t smile came to 8 face - 0 x necess>y1 !n1 0 x prop]1 0 x n a fooli% game to be ! own] ( a mango tree1 to be ! own] ( a g>d58 ,he put an end to ?is too1 ?is too di$ )9 him4 ,he rose1 took 8 leave ( ! mango tree1 took 8 leave ( ! pleasure g>d54 ,he _h n eat5 all day & s felt v hungry1 he ?\ght ( 8 h\se 9 ! city1 ( 8 *amb]s !re & 8 b$1 he ?\ght ( ! table lad5 ) food4 ,) a we>y smile he %ook 8 head & took 8 leave ( ^! ?+s4 ,!re & !n1 at t h\r ( ! night1 ,siddh>?a left 8 g>d51 left ! city & nev] return$ to !m4 ,kamaswami _h 8 s]vants se>* long = him1 he ?\ght he _h fall5 into ! h&s ( b&its4 ,kamala did n s5d anyone to se>* = him4 ,%e 0 n surpris$ :5 %e he>d ( ,siddh>?a's disappe>ance4 ,0 x n some?+ %e _h always expect$8 ,0 he n a samana1 a pilgrim )\t a home8 ,& %e _h felt x mo/ ( all :5 %e 0 la/ ) him1 & deep )9 h] pa9 at los+ him %e 0 glad1 glad t %e _h drawn him s deep into h] he>t t la/ "t %e saw him1 glad t %e _h once m felt s entirely possess$ & p]vad$ by him4 ,:5 %e fir/ receiv$ ! news ( ,siddh>?a's disappe>ance %e cross$ to ! w9d[1 :]e %e kept a r>e songbird captive 9 a gold5 cage4 ,%e op5$ ! door ( ! cage1 took ! bird out & let him fly away4 ,%e look$ long aft] him z he flew4 ,f t day on %e receiv$ no m visitors & kept h] h\se clos$4 ,b "s :ile lat] %e became aw>e t h] la/ meet+ ) ,siddh>?a _h left h] pregnant4 ,,beside ,,! ,,riv] ,siddh>?a w&]$ ?r\gh ! woods1 already f> f ! city1 & he knew j "o ?+1 t he c\ld nev] g back1 t ?is life t he _h liv$ ?r\gh _m ye>s 0 end$ & gone1 he _h ta/$ its joys1 suck$ out its pleasures1 till x disgu/$ him4 ,! songbird he _h dreamt ( 0 dead4 ,! songbird 9 8 he>t 0 dead4 ,he _h be5 entangl$ deep 9 sans>a1 he _h drawn dea? & disgu/ into himself f e side1 l a sponge suck+ 9 wat] till x is saturat$4 ,he 0 full ( we>9ess1 full ( mis]y1 full ( dea?1 !re 0 no?+ m 9 ! _w t c\ld appeal to him1 c\ld give him pleasure1 c\ld give him reassurance4 ,he ye>n$ to "k no?+ m ab\t himself1 to h peace1 to be dead4 ,if only a ?und]bolt w\ld come & /rike him d[n6 ,if only a tig] w\ld come & eat him6 ,if only he _h w9e1 poison1 t w\ld numb 8 s5ses1 oblivion & sleep1 nev] m to wake6 ,0 !re any k9d ( fil? left ) :i* he _h n already besmir*$ himself1 0 !re any k9d ( s9 or folly t he _h n committ$1 any?+ he _h n done t = 8 s\l 0 entirely fruitless8 ,0 x ev5 possible /ill to live8 ,0 x possible to draw 9 brea?1 let out brea? ov] & ov] aga91 to feel hung]1 once m to eat1 once m to sleep1 once m to lay ) a woman8 ,0 ?is circle n1 = him1 exhau/$ & clos$ (f8 ,siddh>?a arriv$ at ! great riv] t fl[$ ?r\gh ! wood1 ! same riv] t ! f]ryman _h tak5 him across :5 he 0 a "y man & _h j dep>t$ f ,gotama's community4 ,on ! bank ( ?is riv] he /opp$ & he /ood !re1 unc]ta9 :at to d4 ,he 0 weak f tir$ness & hung]1 & :y %\ld he g on1 :]e to1 :at =8 ,no1 he _h no objectives any m1 !re 0 no?+ b ! deep & sorr[ful ye>n+ to %ake all ?is b>r5 dream f himself1 to p\r away ?is /ale w9e1 to put an end to ?is pitiful & %ameful life4 ,!re 0 a tree t hung ov] ! riv] bank1 a coconut tree4 ,siddh>?a leant 8 %\ld] aga9/ x1 put 8 arms ar\nd ! trunk & look$ d[n into ! gre5 wat] z x cont9u$ to fl[ b5ea? him4 ,he look$ d[n into x & f\nd himself possess$ ) ! wi% to let g ( ! tree & to p]i% 9 ! wat]4 ,a grisly empt9ess 0 reflect$ back at him f ! wat]1 a reflection t %[$ ! awful empt9ess ( 8 s\l4 ,yes1 he _h come to ! end4 ,!re 0 no?+ m = him ?an to ext+ui% himself1 ?an to /rike d[n ! picture ( de=mity t 0 8 life1 to ?r[ x d[n at ! feet ( ! gods :o laugh at him 9 contempt4 ,?is 0 ! great break?r\gh t he _h long$ =3 dea?1 ! de/ruction ( ! =m he hat$6 ,! fi% c\ld come & eat him1 ,siddh>?a ! dog1 ! delud$1 ! decay$ & putrid body & ! flaccid & abus$ s\l6 ,! fi% & ! crocodiles c\ld come & eat him1 ! demons c\ld dismemb] him6 ,8 face di/ort$ into a sc[l he />$ into ! wat]1 saw 8 di/ort$ face mirror$ back at him1 & he spat at x4 ,deep 9 tir$ness he loos5$ 8 arm f ! tree trunk & twi/$ r\nd slightly s t he w\ld fall v]tically & f9ally g "u4 ,) eyes clos$ he sank d[n to meet 8 dea?4 ,f "s di/ant place 8 s\l began to twit*1 f "s "t pa/ 9 8 tir$ life came a s\nd4 ,x 0 "o ^w1 "o syllable :i* he utt]$ to himself )\t a ?\ght & ) voice t mumbl$1 ! anci5t ^w t =m$ ! beg9n+ & ! end ( any brahmani/ pray]1 ! holy ^w 8,,om01 mean+ 8p]fection0 or 8completion40 ,& at ! mom5t :5 ! s\nd ( 8,om0 t\*$ ,siddh>?a's e> 8 dormant _s sudd5ly awoke & saw ! folly ( :at he 0 do+4 ,siddh>?a 0 deeply %ock$4 ,s ?is 0 ! /ate he _h come to1 ?is 0 h[ lo/ he 01 h[ confus$4 ,he 0 s =sak5 by any k9d ( wisdom t he 0 able to seek dea?1 t ?is :im1 ?is *ildi% :im1 c\ld h gr[n )9 him3 to f9d peace by ext+ui%+ 8 body6 ,all t he _h rec5tly suff]$1 all ! disillusionm5t1 all ! d\bts1 none ( ^! ?+s _h ! effect on him t ,om _h at t mom5t z x ent]$ 8 consci\sness3 & he became able to see 8 mis]y & 8 folly4 ,om6 he said to himself3 ,om6 ,& he knew ( ,brahman1 knew t life c\ld n be de/roy$1 knew once m ev]y?+ ab\t ! div9e t he _h =gott54 ,all ?is1 h[ev]1 la/$ = j "o mom5t1 j a fla%4 ,siddh>?a sank d[n at ! foot ( ! coconut tree1 lay d[n exhau/$1 & mutt]+ ,om he laid 8 head on ! root ( ! tree & sank into a deep sleep4 ,deep 0 8 sleep & free ( dreams1 he _h n kn[n sleep l ?is = a long "t4 ,_m h\rs lat] :5 he woke x seem$ to him t t5 ye>s _h gone by1 he he>d ! g5tle fl[ ( ! wat]1 did n "k :]e he 0 or :o _h br\ght him !re1 abruptly he op5$ 8 eyes & 0 amaz$ to see trees & ! sky above him1 & !n he rememb]$ :]e he 0 & h[ he _h arriv$ !re4 ,?is process took a long "t1 ?\gh1 & ! pa/ seem$ to him to h _h a veil ?r[n ov] x1 x 0 inf9itely f>1 x lay at inf9ite di/ance1 inf9itely mean+less4 ,he knew only t 8 previ\s life 7at fir/ z he came back to 8 s5ses1 ?is previ\s life seem$ l some?+ ly+ long 9 ! pa/1 an e>li] inc>nation1 an e>ly bir? ( 8 pres5t self71 t 8 previ\s life 0 some?+ he _h left beh9d1 t1 full ( disgu/ & mis]y1 he _h ev5 want$ to ?r[ 8 life away1 t in/ead he _h rega9$ consci\sness at ! side ( a riv] "u a coconut tree ) ! holy ^w ,om on 8 lips1 t he _h !n slept & n[ _h wok5 & he look$ at ! _w z a new p]son4 ,quietly1 he spoke ! ^w ,om to himself1 z he _h done :ile he 0 fall+ asleep1 & x seem$ t all ! "t t he _h be5 asleep _h be5 no?+ b a long imm]sion into say+ ,om1 into ?9k+ ,om1 a subm]sion & envelopm5t 9 ,om1 9 ! nameless1 9 ! p]fect4 ,x _h be5 su* a wond]ful sleep6 ,sleep+ _h nev] be=e left him s refre%$1 s r5ew$1 s rejuv5at$6 ,c\ld x be t he really _h di$1 _h gone "u & n[ be5 reborn 9 a new =m8 ,no1 he knew himself1 he knew 8 h& & 8 feet1 knew ! play :]e he lay1 knew ?is self 9 8 brea/1 ?is ,siddh>?a1 ! head/rong1 ! odd1 ?is ,siddh>?a h[ev] 0 trans=m$1 r5ew$1 he _h slept rem>kably well & n[ he 0 rem>kably al]t1 joyful & inquisitive4 ,siddh>?a sat up /raight & saw a man fac+ him1 a /range man1 a monk 9 yell[ robes ) %av5 head & 9 a position ( m$itation4 ,he look$ at ! man1 :o _h hair nei!r on 8 head nor 8 face1 & he _h n look$ at him = long be=e he saw t ?is monk 0 ,gov9da1 8 *ildhood fri5d1 ,gov9da :o _h tak5 refuge ) ! noble ,buddha4 ,gov9da _h *ang$1 j z he _h1 b he /ill bore ! old features 9 8 face t spoke ( zeal1 ( loyalty1 ( se>*+1 ( fa/idi\sness4 ,gov9da felt n[ t ,siddh>?a 0 wat*+ him1 op5$ 8 eyes & return$ 8 gaze4 ,siddh>?a saw t ,gov9da did n recognise him4 ,gov9da 0 glad to see t he _h wok51 he _h cle>ly long be5 sitt+ "h wait+ = him to wake ev5 ?\gh he did n "k him4 8,i h be5 sleep+10 said ,siddh>?a4 8,:at has br\ght y "h80 8,y h be5 sleep+10 ,gov9da answ]$4 8,x is n good to sleep 9 places su* z ?is :]e !re are _m snakes & :]e ! bea/s ( ! =e/ foll[ _! pa?s4 ,i1 sir1 am a foll[] ( ! noble ,gotama1 ( ! buddha1 ( ! ,sakyamuni1 & :5 ,i & a numb] ( memb]s ( our movem5t 7 travell+ along ?is pa? 9 pilgrimage ,i saw y ly+ !re asleep 9 a place :]e to sleep is dang]\s4 ,i !re=e tri$ to wake y1 sir1 & z ,i saw t y\r sleep 0 v deep ,i rema9$ beh9d my colleagues & sat beside y4 ,& !n1 x seems1 ,i fell asleep myself despite my wi% to wat* ov] y z y slept4 ,i p]=m$ my task badly1 tir$ness ov]came me4 ,b n[1 n[ t y are awake1 please all[ me to leave y & cat* up ) my bro!rs40 8,?ank y = wat*+ ov] my sleep1 samana10 said ,siddh>?a4 8,y foll[]s ( ! noble "o are helpful4 ,y are free to g40 8,i w g1 sir4 ,may y always f>e well40 8,?ank y1 samana40 ,gov9da made ! ge/ure ( greet+ & said1 8,f>ewell40 8,f>ewell1 ,gov9da10 said ,siddh>?a4 ,! monk rema9$ :]e he 04 8,sir1 may ,i ask h[ y "k my "n80 ,siddh>?a smil$4 8,i "k y1 ,gov9da1 ,i "k y f y\r fa!r's hut & f ! brahm9s' s*ool1 ,i "k y f ! sacrifices we p]=m$ & f our j\rney to jo9 ! samanas1 ,i "k y f t "t :51 9 ! grove ( ,jetavana1 y took refuge ) ! noble "o40 8,y are ,siddh>?a60 exclaim$ ,gov9da out l\d4 8,n[ ,i recognise y1 & ,i _c und]/& :y ,i did n recognise imm$iately4 ,welcome1 ,siddh>?a1 x is a great joy = me to see y aga940 8,& x is a great joy = me too to see y4 ,x 0 y :o wat*$ ov] me z ,i slept1 & ,i ?ank y aga9 = x1 al?\gh ,i _h no ne$ ( anyone to d s4 ,:]e are y go+1 my fri5d80 8,i am n go+ any:]e4 ,we monks are always travell+1 except 9 ! ra9y season1 we always move f place to place1 we live accord+ to our rules1 we spread out tea*+s1 accept alms & !n we move on4 ,x is always s4 ,b y1 ,siddh>?a1 :]e are y go+80 ,siddh>?a said1 8,x is ! same ) me z ) y1 my fri5d4 ,i am n go+ any:]e4 ,i am simply travell+4 ,i am on a pilgrimage40 ,gov9da said1 8,y say y are on a pilgrimage1 & ,i believe y4 ,b1 ,siddh>?a =give me1 y d n look l a pilgrim4 ,y we> ! clo!s ( a ri* man1 y we> ! %oes ( a man ( elegance1 y\r hair smells ( sc5t$ wat] & x is n ! hair ( a pilgrim1 n ! hair ( a samana40 8,yes1 my fri5d1 well obs]v$1 y\r %>p eye sees ev]y?+4 ,b ,i did n tell y ,i am a samana4 ,i said ,i am on a pilgrimage1 & t is :at ,i am1 on a pilgrimage40 8,y are on a pilgrimage10 said ,gov9da4 8,i h be5 go+ on pilgrimage = _m ye>s1 b ,i h nev] come across a pilgrim l ?is4 ,!re are n _m :o g on pilgrimage 9 clo!s l ?is1 or 9 %oes l ?is or ) hair l ?is40 8,i believe y1 my fri5d4 ,b n[1 today1 y h j a pilgrim l ?is1 9 %oes l ?is1 ) clo!s l ?is4 ,rememb] ?is1 my fri5d3 ,! _w ( =ms is transitory1 our clo!s are highly transitory1 j l ! way we h our hair & ! hair itself & our bodies !mselves4 ,i am we>+ ! clo!s ( a ri* man1 y are q "r ab\t :at y h se54 ,i am we>+ !m because ,i 0 a ri* man1 & my hair is l ! hair ( a lib]t9e or m5 ( ! _w1 because ,i 0 a lib]t9e & a man ( ! _w40 8,& n[1 ,siddh>?a1 :at are y n[80 8,i d n "k1 ,i d n "k x any m ?an y d4 ,i am on a j\rney4 ,i 0 a ri* man & n[ ,i am n2 & nor d ,i "k :at ,i w be tomorr[40 8,did y lose all y\r ri*es80 8,i lo/ !m1 or !y lo/ me4 ,i no long] h !m4 ,! :eel ( =ms sp9s fa/1 ,gov9da4 ,:]e is ,siddh>?a ! brahm98 ,:]e is ,siddh>?a ! samana4 ,:]e is ! weal? ( ,siddh>?a8 ,?+s t are transitory *ange fa/1 ,gov9da1 y "k t40 ,gov9da />$ long at 8 *ildhood fri5d1 8 eyes full ( d\bt4 ,!n1 us+ words t 7 v polite1 he said goodbye & w5t on 8 way4 ,) a smile on 8 face1 ,siddh>?a wat*$ him z he w5t1 he lov$ him /ill1 fai?ful ,gov9da1 consci5ti\s ,gov9da4 ,& h[1 at t mom5t1 at t magnific5t "t aft] su* a wond]ful sleep p]meat$ ) ,om1 h[ c\ld he n h lov$ someone & some?+8 ,?is 0 ! v magic t _h tak5 place 9 him by ! p[] ( ,om :ile he 0 sleep+1 he lov$ ev]y?+1 he 0 fill$ ) joyful love = ev]y?+ he saw4 ,x 0 also ! reason1 x seem$ to him n[1 :y he _h e>li] be5 v ill & unable to love any?+ or anyone4 ,) a smile on 8 face1 ,siddh>?a wat*$ ! monk z he w5t4 ,he felt mu* /rong] aft] 8 sleep1 b he 0 none!less pa9fully hungry z he _h n eat5 = two days & ! "t 0 long pa/ :5 he _h be5 h>d5$ aga9/ hung]4 ,) "s sorr[1 b also ) laught]1 he ?\ght ab\t t "t4 ,9 ^? days1 he rememb]$1 he _h boa/$ ( ?ree ?+s to ,kamala1 ?ree noble & inv9cible arts t he _h ma/]$3 fa/+1 wait+1 ?9k+4 ,^! 7 8 possessions1 8 p[] & 8 skill1 8 firm & tru/y /aff1 ^! ?ree arts 7 :at he _h le>n$ 9 ! h>d-work+ & ardu\s ye>s ( 8 y\?1 ^! & no o!rs4 ,& n[ he _h ab&on$ !m1 n "o ( !m 0 9 8 possession any long]1 n fa/+1 n wait+1 n ?9k+4 ,he _h ?r[n !m away = ! mo/ mis]able ( desires1 = ! mo/ %ort-liv$1 = s5sual pleasure1 = afflu5ce1 = ri*es6 ,!y _h r>ely done him any good4 ,& n[1 x seem$1 he really _h become "o ( ! *ildlike p4 ,siddh>?a ?\ght ab\t 8 position4 ,?9k+ came h>d to him1 !re 0 no?+ 9 him t want$ to d x1 b he =c$ himself4 ,n[1 he ?\ght1 z all ^! transitory ?+s h slipp$ away f me1 n[ ,i /& "h "u ! sun aga9 z ,i did be=e :5 ,i 0 a small *ild1 !re is no?+ t belongs to me1 !re is no?+ ,i c d1 no?+ ,i am capable ( do+1 !re is no?+ ,i h le>nt4 ,?is is wond]ful6 ,n[1 :5 ,i am no long] "y1 :5 my hair is already half-grey1 :5 my /r5g? is beg9n+ to fade1 n[ is ! "t = me to />t aga9 f ! beg9n+ & be a *ild aga96 ,8 =tunes _h inde$ be5 odd6 ,he _h be5 on a d[nw>d pa? & n[ he /ood 9 ! _w once aga9 p5niless & nak$ & /upid4 ,b he 0 unable to feel any conc]n ab\t ?is1 no1 he ev5 felt a /rong urge to laugh1 to laugh at himself1 to laugh at ?is biz>re1 ridicul\s _w4 8,y're on a d[nw>d pa?60 he said to himself1 & laugh$ ab\t x1 & z he spoke 8 glance fell on ! riv]1 & he saw t ! riv] 0 on a d[nw>d pa? too1 always migrat+ d[nw>ds &1 z x did s1 x sang & 0 gay4 ,he f\nd t v pleas+1 & he gave ! riv] a fri5dly smile4 ,0 ?is n ! riv] 9 :i* he _h want$ to dr[n himself1 "s "t 9 ! pa/1 a hundr$ ye>s ago1 or _h he dreamt x8 ,my life truly has be5 wond]ful1 he ?\ght1 wond]ful are ! v>i$ c\rses x has tak54 ,z a boy ,i _h no?+ to d ) any?+ b ! gods & mak+ sacrifices to !m4 ,z an adolesc5t ,i _h no?+ to d ) any?+ b asceticism1 ) ?9k+ & m$itation1 ,i s\ght to f9d ,brahman1 v5]at$ ! et]nal 9 ,atman4 ,z a "y man1 ?\gh1 ,i foll[$ ! pa? ( p5it5ce1 liv$ 9 ! =e/1 suff]$ heat & fro/1 le>nt to hung]1 taught my body to die away4 ,x 0 wond]ful :51 at t "t1 k came to me ?r\gh ! tea*+s ( ! great buddha1 ,i felt k ( ! unity ( ! _w1 felt x fl[ )9 me l my own blood4 ,b ,i _h to g on my way ev5 f ! buddha & t great k4 ,i w5t on & le>nt ! joy ( love f ,kamala1 le>n$ bus9ess skills f ,kamaswami1 accumulat$ money1 wa/$ money1 le>n$ to love my /oma*1 le>n$ to flatt] my s5ses4 ,x took me _m ye>s to lose my _s1 to lose ! ability to ?9k1 to =get unity4 ,is x n s1 t ,i w5t sl[ly & by circuit\s r\tes f be+ a man to be+ a *ild1 f a ?9k+ be+ to a *ildlike be+8 ,?is 0 a v good way1 ?\gh1 & ! bird )9 my brea/ did n die4 ,b :at a way x 06 ,!re 0 s mu* /upidity1 s mu* vice1 s mu* folly1 s mu* disgu/ & disappo9tm5t & mis]y t ,i _h to g ?r\gh be=e simply becom+ a *ild aga9 & to be able to />t anew4 ,b x 0 ! "r way1 my he>t tells me yes1 my eyes laugh ab\t x4 ,i _h to exp]i5ce d\bt1 ,i _h to s9k d[n to t mo/ fooli% ( ?\ghts1 ! ?\ght ( suicide1 be=e ,i c\ld exp]i5ce m]cy1 be=e ,i c\ld he> ,om aga91 be=e ,i c\ld sleep prop]ly aga9 & be=e ,i c\ld wake prop]ly aga94 ,i _h to become a fool be=e ,i c\ld f9d ,atman )9 myself aga94 ,i _h to commit s9 be=e ,i c\ld live aga94 ,:]e w my pa? lead me f "h8 ,?is is a fooli% pa?1 x goes r\nd 9 loops1 p]haps x goes r\nd 9 circles4 ,:i*ev] way x *ooses to g1 ,i w foll[ x4 ,9 8 brea/ he felt a surge ( wond]ful joy4 ,:]e f !n1 he ask$ 8 he>t1 :]e f d y h ?is gaiety8 ,c\ld x be t x comes f t long & :olesome sleep t did me s mu* good8 ,or f ! ^w ,om t ,i spoke8 ,or c\ld x be because ,i h escap$1 t my flight is complet$1 t ,i am at la/ free aga9 & /& once m "u ! sky z a *ild8 ,i h escap$1 ,i h become free1 & x is s good6 ,h[ pure & lovely ! air is "h1 h[ good to brea! x6 ,!re1 ! place :5ce ,i escap$1 ev]y?+ smelt ( o9tm5t1 ( spices1 ( w9e1 ( excess1 ( le?>gy4 ,h[ ,i hat$ ?is _w ( ! ri*1 ( ! _w ( luxury1 ! _w ( gambl]s6 ,h[ ,i hat$ myself = /ay+ s long 9 ?is dreadful _w6 ,h[ ,i hat$ myself1 robb$ myself1 poison$ & tortur$ myself1 h[ ,i made myself old & bad temp]$6 ,no1 ,i w nev] aga9 delude myself1 z ,i s mu* us$ to l do+1 nev] aga9 ?9k t ,siddh>?a is a wise man6 ,b ?is is some?+ x 0 "r to d1 ?is is some?+ t pleases me1 ?is is some?+ = :i* ,i %\ld praise myself1 t ,i h put an end to ?is self-hatr$1 to ?is life ( folly & b>r5ness6 ,i praise y1 ,siddh>?a1 aft] s _m ye>s ( folly y h once aga9 _h an idea1 y h done some?+1 y h he>d ! bird s++ 9 y\r brea/ & y h foll[$ him6 ,?us he prais$ himself1 _h pleasure 9 himself1 li/5$ ) curiosity to 8 /oma*1 :i* 0 rumbl+ ) hung]4 ,9 ! la/ few days1 he felt1 he _h ta/$ pa91 he _h ta/$ sorr[1 he _h ta/$ !m completely & ?or\ghly1 he _h eat5 !m totally to ! po9t ( d\bt & ( dea? & !n he _h spat !m out4 ,x 0 good1 s4 ,he c\ld h rema9$ mu* long] ) ,kamaswami1 mak+ money1 wa/+ money1 fill+ 8 belly & lett+ 8 s\l g ?ir/y1 he c\ld h liv$ mu* long] 9 ?is s(t1 well-cu%ion$ ,hell if ?is _h n happ5$3 t mom5t ( p]fect d\bt & despair1 t mom5t :5 he 0 at su* an extreme t he hung ov] ! fl[+ wat] & 0 ready to de/roy himself4 ,he _h felt d\bts & ! deepe/ disgu/ b _h n succumb$ to !m1 ! bird )9 him t 0 8 voice & 8 s\rce ( gaiety 0 /ill liv+1 & ?is fill$ him ) joy1 ?is br\ght him to laught]1 ?is made 8 face1 "u 8 grey hair1 beam4 8,x is good10 he ?\ght1 8to exp]i5ce ev]y?+ y ne$ to "k y\rself4 ,i le>n$ z a *ild t weal? & worldly pleasures are n good4 ,x is some?+ t ,i h long kn[n b only n[ exp]i5c$4 ,& n[ ,i "k x1 ,i "k x n only 9 my ?\ghts b ) my eyes1 ) my he>t1 ) my /oma*4 ,x is good = me t ,i "k x60 ,he ?\ght long ab\t 8 trans=mation1 he li/5$ to ! bird z x sang = joy4 ,_h ?is bird )9 him n di$1 _h he n felt its dea?8 ,no1 x 0 some?+ else )9 him t _h di$1 some?+ t _h long be5 ye>n+ = dea?4 ,0 x n ?is t 9 8 e>li] ye>s ( f]v5t p5it5ce he _h want$ to kill (f8 ,0 x n 8 ,self1 8 petty1 anxi\s & pr\d ,self1 t he _h /ruggl$ aga9/ = s _m ye>s t f\nd victory ov] him aga9 & aga91 t reappe>$ ea* "t he kill$ x (f1 ea* "t he =bade himself pleasure1 ea* "t he 0 afraid8 ,0 x n ?is t today _h f9ally f\nd its dea?1 "h 9 ! woods by ?is lovely riv]8 ,0 x n because ( ?is dea? t he 0 n[ l a *ild1 s full ( tru/1 s )\t fe>1 s full ( joy8 ,siddh>?a n[ also began to und]/& :y 8 ef=ts aga9/ ?is ,self 7 9 va9 :5 he 0 a brahm91 :5 he 0 a p5it5t4 ,he _h be5 h9d]$ by too mu* k1 too mu* ( ! holy v]ses1 too _m rules ( sacrifice1 too mu* ca/igation1 too mu* do+ & too mu* /riv+6 ,he _h be5 full ( pride1 he _h be5 always ! clev]e/1 always ! ke5e/1 always "o /ep ahead ( ! o!rs1 always ! "o :o knew1 ! "o :o 0 spiritual1 always ! prie/ or ! wise man4 ,8 ,self _h crept into ?is prie/hood1 into ?is pride1 into ?is spirituality1 x sat firmly !re & grew :ile ,siddh>?a ?\ght he 0 de/roy+ x ) fa/+ & p5it5ce4 ,n[ he c\ld see x1 & he saw t ! secret voice _h be5 "r1 t no tea*] c\ld ev] h remov$ ?is ,self4 ,t is :y he _h _h to g out into ! _w1 to lose himself 9 fun & p[] & wom5 & money1 _h _h to be a bus9essman1 a gambl]1 a dr9k] & to be gre$y1 till ! prie/ & ! samana )9 him 7 dead4 ,t is :y he _h _h to cont9ue to endure ^! ye>s ( loa?som5ess1 to be> ! disgu/1 ! empt9ess1 ! mean+lessness1 ( a life t 0 lo/ & b>r51 "r till ! end1 till ! bitt] d\bt1 till ,siddh>?a ! syb>ite1 ,siddh>?a ! gre$y1 0 ev5 ready to die4 ,he did die1 a new ,siddh>?a awoke f t sleep4 ,ev5 he w\ld gr[ old1 ev5 he w\ld h to die "o day1 ,siddh>?a 0 imp]man5t1 e =m 0 imp]man5t4 ,b today he 0 "y1 he 0 a *ild1 & ! new ,siddh>?a 0 full ( joy4 ,^! 7 8 ?\ghts1 he li/5$ ) a smile to 8 /oma*1 li/5$ ) gratitude to a buzz+ bee4 ,he look$ happily into ! riv] z x fl[$1 wat] _h nev] be5 to pleas+ to him z ?is wat]1 he _h nev] be5 s /rongly aw>e ( ! beauty ( wat]1 ( its voice1 ( :at x repres5ts4 ,! riv] seem$ to h some?+ special to say to him1 some?+ he /ill did n "k1 some?+ /ill wait+ = him4 ,?is 0 ! riv] :]e ,siddh>?a _h want$ to dr[n himself1 ?is 0 ! riv] :]e ! old1 tir$1 d\bt+ ,siddh>?a today _h dr[n$4 ,b ! new ,siddh>?a felt pr(\nd love = ?is ru%+ wat] & he promis$ himself nev] aga9 to be s ra% 9 leav+ x4 ,,! ,,f]ryman ,i w\ld l to rema9 by ?is riv]1 ?\ght ,siddh>?a1 x is ! same riv] t ,i once cross$ on my way to ! *ildlike p1 t "t ,i 0 tak5 across by a fri5dly f]ryman1 ,i w\ld l to g to him4 ,x 0 f 8 hut t my way once l$ out into a new life1 a life :i* n[ has become old & dead - ,i hope ! way ,i am n[ on1 ! new life t ,i h begun1 take its />t+ po9t f !re6 ,he look$ t5d]ly into ! fl[+ wat]1 into t transp>5t gre51 into ! cry/al l9es ( its draw+ t 0 s full ( secrets4 ,he saw pe>ls ( light ris+ f its dep?s1 peaceful bubbles ( air float+ on its surface1 ! blue ( ! sky reflect$ !re4 ,) its ?\s& eyes ! riv] look$ back at him1 eyes ( gre51 eyes ( :ite1 eyes ( cry/al1 eyes ( ,heav5ly blue4 ,h[ he lov$ ?is wat]1 h[ x delight$ him1 h[ he 0 grateful to x6 ,9 8 he>t he he>d ! newly-wok5 voice speak1 & x said to him1 8,love ?is wat]6 ,/ay beside x6 ,le>n f x60 ,oh yes1 he did want to le>n f x1 he did want to li/5 to x4 ,:oev] und]/ood ?is wat] & its secrets1 x seem$ to him1 w\ld also h und]/&+ ( _m o!r ?+s1 _m secrets1 all secrets4 ,( ! riv]'s secrets1 h[ev]1 he saw today j "o1 & x 0 und]/ood by 8 s\l4 ,he saw3 ?is wat] fl[$ & fl[$1 x nev] ceas$ to fl[ b 0 none!less always !re1 x 0 always & = all "t ! same1 yet ea* glance at x %[$ some?+ new6 ,:oev] c\ld grasp ?is w\ld und]/& x6 ,he und]/ood b c\ld n grasp x1 he felt no m ?an ! ris+ ( "s vague notion1 a di/ant memory1 voices ( gods4 ,siddh>?a /ood up1 = ! p[] ( hung] 9 8 body 0 becom+ unbe>able4 ,he walk$ on n c>+ :i!r he w5t1 he foll[$ ! pa? along ! riv] bank z x l$ him up/ream1 he li/5$ to its fl[1 li/5$ to gr[l+ hung] 9 8 body4 ,:5 he rea*$ ! place :]e ! f]ry made its cross+s he f\nd ! boat ly+ ready & /&+ 9 x 0 ! same f]ryman :o _h once tak5 ! "y samana across4 ,siddh>?a recognis$ him1 ?\gh he too 0 greatly alt]$4 8,w\ld y l to take me across80 he ask$4 ,! f]ryman1 a/oni%$ to see su* an elegant man travell+ alone & on foot1 accept$ him into ! boat & pu%$ (f f ! bank4 8,y h *os5 a nice life = y\rself10 said ! pass5g]4 8,x mu/ be nice to h a life beside ?is wat] e day & to travel on x40 8,x is v nice1 sir10 said ! o>sman1 smil+ z he r[$1 8j z y say4 ,b is n e life nice1 is n e job a good job80 8,y c\ld well be "r4 ,b ,i /ill envy y y\r job40 8,oh1 y w\ld soon become tir$ ( x4 ,x is n a job = a g5tleman 9 f9e clo!s40 ,siddh>?a laugh$4 8,?is is n ! fir/ "t today t ,i h be5 judg$ by ! clo!s ,i we>1 judg$ & mi/ru/$4 ,f]ryman1 w\ld y n l to take ^! clo!s f me8 ,!y h become burd5some to me4 ,& ,i ?9k y already "k ,i h no money to pay y\r f>e40 8,! g5tleman is jok+ ) me10 ! f]ryman laugh$4 8,i am n jok+1 my fri5d4 ,li/51 y h once be=e c>ri$ me across ! wat] 9 y\r boat & y did x = ! love ( ,god4 ,d ! same today1 & accept my clo!s 9 return40 8,does ! g5tleman mean to cont9ue 8 j\rney )\t clo!s80 8,oh1 mo/ ( all ,i w\ld l n to cont9ue my j\rney at all4 ,mo/ ( all1 f]ryman1 ,i w\ld l y to give me an old lo9clo? & take me on z y\r assi/ant1 or r z y\r appr5tice1 = ,i w\ld ne$ fir/ to le>n h[ to h&le ! boat40 ,! f]ryman />$ long & quizzically at ! /rang]4 8,n[ ,i recognise y10 he said at la/4 8,y slept 9 my hut once1 t 0 long ago1 x mu/ be m ?an tw5ty ye>s1 y 7 tak5 ov] ! riv] by me & we took leave ( ea* o!r z good fri5ds4 ,7 y n a samana8 ,i c't ?9k :at y\r "n is any m40 8,my "n is ,siddh>?a1 & ,i 0 a samana ! la/ "t y saw me40 8,welcome1 ,siddh>?a4 ,my "n is ,vasudeva4 ,i hope y w aga9 be my gue/ today & sleep 9 my hut & tell me all ab\t :]e y h come f & :y y\r f9e clo!s are su* a burd5 to y40 ,!y _h rea*$ ! middle ( ! riv] & ,vasudeva pull$ h>d] on ! o>s 9 ord] to ov]come ! curr5t4 ,he work$ quietly ) 8 p[]ful arms & ) 8 eye on ! b[4 ,siddh>?a sat & wat*$ him & rememb]$ h[1 once be=e1 9 ! la/ days ( 8 "t z a samana1 love = ?is man _h aris5 9 8 he>t4 ,he accept$ ,vasudeva's invitation ) gratitude4 ,:5 !y rea*$ ! bank ,siddh>?a help$ him to te!r ! boat & ! f]ryman invit$ him into ! hut :]e he (f]$ him bread & wat]1 & ,siddh>?a ate hungrily1 & he ate hungrily ( ! mangoes t ,vasudeva (f]$ him4 ,! sun _h begun to set1 & !y w5t to sit on a tree trunk at ! side ( ! riv] :]e ,siddh>?a told ! f]ryman ab\t :]e he 0 f & :at 8 life _h be51 ab\t h[ he _h se5 x be=e 8 eyes t day 9 8 mom5t ( d\bt4 ,8 /ory cont9u$ late into ! night4 ,vasudeva li/5$ ) great att5tion4 ,he took 9 all t he he>d1 8 orig9 & *ildhood1 all t le>n+1 all t seek+1 all t joy1 all t suff]+4 ,?is 0 "o ( ! f]ryman's greate/ virtues3 few knew h[ to li/5 z well z he4 ,vasudeva w\ld n say a ^w1 b ! speak] w\ld s5se h[ he all[$ ! words to ent] into him1 quiet1 op51 pati5t1 nev] los+ a ^w1 nev] wait+ impati5tly = a ^w1 nev] (f]+ praise nor c5sure1 simply li/5+4 ,siddh>?a 0 aw>e ( :at good =tune x 0 to h ! company ( a li/5] su* z ?is1 "o into ^: he>t he c\ld s9k 8 own life1 8 own se>*+s1 8 own sorr[s4 ,z ,siddh>?a ne>$ ! end ( 8 /ory1 ?\gh1 z he spoke ( ! tree at ! riv]side & ( ! dep? ( 8 fall1 ( ! holy ,om & ( h[ he felt su* love = ! riv] :5 he woke f 8 sleep1 !n ! f]ryman li/5$ ) twice z mu* att5tion1 totally devot$ to x ) 8 eyes %ut4 ,b :5 ,siddh>?a became sil5t & !re 0 a long p]iod ( /illness1 ,vasudeva said1 8,x is j z ,i ?\ght4 ,! riv] spoke to y4 ,he is ! fri5d ( y also1 he speaks to y also4 ,t is good1 t is v good4 ,/ay ) me1 ,siddh>?a my fri5d4 ,i _h a wife once1 h] place 0 next to m9e1 b x is long s9ce %e di$1 ,i h liv$ long alone4 ,n[ y live ) me1 !re is room "h & !re is food "h = bo? ( u40 8,i ?ank y10 said ,siddh>?a1 8,i ?ank y & ,i accept4 ,& ,i also ?ank y1 ,vasudeva1 = be+ su* a good li/5]6 ,!re are few p :o "k h[ to li/54 ,& ,i h nev] come across anyone :o c\ld d x z well z y4 ,?is is some?+ else t ,i %all be le>n+ f y40 8,y w le>n10 said ,vasudeva1 8b n f me4 ,x is ! riv] t taught me h[ to li/51 & he w tea* y too4 ,he kn[s ev]y?+1 ! riv]1 !re is no?+ y _c le>n f him4 ,look1 ?is is some?+ else t y h already le>n$ f ! riv]1 t x is good to /rive to g d[n1 to s9k1 to seek out ! dep?s4 ,! ri* & c\rtly ,siddh>?a w become an appr5tice o>sman1 ! le>n$ brahm9 ,siddh>?a w become a f]ryman3 ?is is some?+ else t ! riv] has told y4 ,& !re is m t y w le>n f him40 ,!re 0 a long pause1 & ,siddh>?a said1 8,:at m1 ,vasudeva80 ,vasudeva /ood up4 8,x is gett+ late10 he said1 8let u g to b$4 ,i _c tell y :at m1 my fri5d4 ,y w le>n1 p]haps y ev5 "k x already4 ,i am n a le>n$ man1 y see1 ,i d n "k h[ to give spee*es1 ,i d n "k h[ to ?9k4 ,all ,i "k h[ to d is li/5+ & say+ my pray]s1 !re is no?+ else ,i h le>n$ h[ to d4 ,if ,i c\ld expla9 x to y & give lessons !n t might mean ,i am a wise man1 b z x is ,i am j a f]ryman & x is my job to take p across ?is riv]4 ,x c\ld h be5 ?\s&s t ,i h tak5 across & all t my riv] has ev] be5 to !m is some?+ t has gott5 9 ! way on _! j\rney4 ,!y h be5 travell+ = ! sake ( money or bus9ess1 go+ to w$d+s1 go+ on a pilgrimage1 & ! riv] 0 9 _! way & ! f]ryman 0 !re s t !y c\ld get pa/ t ?+ 9 _! way z soon z possible4 ,"s ( ^? ?\s&s ?\gh1 "s ( !m1 ?\gh n _m1 f\r or five ( !m1 = "s ( !m ! riv] /opp$ be+ j some?+ 9 _! way1 !y he>d 8 voice1 !y li/5$ to him1 & ! riv] became some?+ holy = !m1 j l he has = me4 ,n[ let u g & take our re/1 ,siddh>?a40 ,siddh>?a rema9$ ) ! f]ryman & le>n$ h[ to op]ate ! boat1 & :5 !re 0 no f]ry "w to d he w\ld "w ) ,vasudeva 9 ! rice field1 ga!r+ wood1 pick+ ! fruits ( ! planta9 trees4 ,he le>n$ h[ to make an o> & h[ to repair ! boat1 he le>n$ h[ to weave a basket & he 0 happy at all t he _h le>n$ & ! days & ! mon?s pass$ quickly4 ,! riv]1 ?\gh1 taught him m ?an ,vasudeva 0 able to4 ,he le>n$ f x )\t cease4 ,mo/ ( all he le>n$ f ! riv] h[ to li/51 to pay att5tion ) a quiet he>t1 ) a pati5t & op5 s\l1 )\t passion1 )\t desire1 )\t judgem5t1 )\t op9ion4 ,he liv$ 9 fri5dly proximity ) ,vasudeva1 & !y w\ld n[ & !n ex*ange a few words1 a few words :i* _h long be5 consid]$4 ,vasudeva 0 n a fri5d ( words1 x 0 r>e = ,siddh>?a to move him to speak4 8,h y10 he once ask$ him1 8h y also le>n$ f ! riv] ! secret t !re is no "t80 ,a bright smile spread ov] ,vasudeva's face4 8,yes1 ,siddh>?a10 he said4 8,is ?is :at y are say+3 t ! riv] is ! same along 8 :ole l5g?1 at 8 s\rce & at 8 e/u>y1 at ! wat]fall1 at ! f]ry cross+1 at ! rapids1 at ! sea1 9 ! m\nta9s1 ev]y:]e ! same1 & t = him !re is only ! pres5t1 no %ad[ ( ! future80 8,yes1 t is "r10 said ,siddh>?a4 8,& :5 ,i _h le>n$ ?is ,i look$ at my life & saw t x too 0 a riv]1 & sep>at+ ! boy ,siddh>?a f ! man ,siddh>?a1 & ! man ,siddh>?a f ! old man ,siddh>?a1 !re 0 m]ely a %ad[1 no?+ real4 ,& ,siddh>?a's previ\s bir?s too 7 n 9 ! pa/1 & 8 dea? & 8 return to ,brahma 7 n 9 ! future4 ,no?+ has be5 & no?+ w be2 ev]y?+ is1 ev]y?+ has its ess5ce & its pres5ce40 ,siddh>?a spoke ) delight1 ?is elucidation _h made him deeply happy4 ,= 0 n1 !n1 all suff]+ "t1 0 n all self-torture & self-fe> "t1 0 n all difficulty1 all ho/ility 9 ! _w expung$ & ov]come z soon a "t has be5 ov]come1 z soon z "t c\ld be remov$ f our ?\ghts8 ,he spoke ) gleeful passion1 b ,vasudeva simple gave him a bright smile & nodd$ agreem5t1 he nodd$ 9 sil5ce1 t\*$ ,siddh>?a's %\ld] & w5t back to 8 "w4 ,ano!r "t 9 ! ra9y season1 & ! swoll5 riv] made a mighty ro>1 ,siddh>?a said1 8,w\ld y say1 my fri5d1 t ! riv] has _m voices1 v _m voices8 ,does he n h ! voice ( a k+1 & ( a w>rior1 & ( a bull1 & ( a bird at night1 & ( a "m giv+ bir?1 & ( a man :o sighs & a ?\s& o!r voices80 8,y are "r10 ,vasudeva nodd$1 8all ! voices 9 creation are 9 8 voice40 8,& d y "k10 ,siddh>?a1 8:at ^w he says :5 y succe$ 9 he>+ all t5 ?\s& voices at once80 ,happy laught] appe>$ on ,vasudeva's face1 he leant t[>ds ,siddh>?a & into 8 e> he spoke ! holy ^w ,om4 ,& ?is inde$ 0 :at ,siddh>?a also _h he>d4 ,& little by little 8 smile became l ! f]ryman's1 became ne>ly z beam+1 ne>ly z p]meat$ ) happ9ess1 j z radiant f a ?\s& t9y wr9kles1 j z *ild-l1 j z mature4 ,_m travell]s :o saw ! two f]rym5 ?\ght !y mu/ be bro!rs4 ,9 ! ev5+s !y w\ld (t5 sit toge!r on ! tree trunk at ! riv]side1 !y w\ld say no?+ b bo? w\ld li/5 to ! wat] :i*1 = !m1 0 n wat] b ! voice ( life1 ! voice ( exi/5ce1 ( et]nal becom+4 ,sometimes1 z ! two ( !m li/5$ to ! riv] toge!r1 !y w\ld bo? ?9k ( ! same ?+s1 ( a discussion t _h tak5 place two days e>li]1 ( "o ( ! travell]s ^: face & ^: de/9y occupi$ !m1 ( dea?1 ( _! *ildhood4 ,sometimes1 :5 ! riv] _h said some?+ good to !m1 !y w\ld ea* look at ! o!r at ! same mom5t1 bo? ?9k+ ! same ?+1 bo? feel+ ! same joy at he>+ ! same answ] to ! same "q4 ,_m ( ! travell]s felt !re 0 some?+ giv5 out f ! f]ry & ! two f]rym54 ,sometimes a travell] w\ld look into ! face ( "o ( ! f]rym5 & beg9 to tell 8 life /ory1 w\ld tell ( 8 sorr[s1 ackn[l$ge :]e he _h done wrong1 ask = solace & advice4 ,sometimes "o ( !m w\ld ask p]mission to sp5d ! ev5+ ) !m to li/5 to ! riv]4 ,sometimes someone w\ld come to !m because he 0 curi\s1 someone :o _h he>d ab\t ^! two wise m5 or magicians or holy m5 :o liv$ beside ?is f]ry4 ,!y w\ld ask _m que/ions b receiv$ no answ]s1 & !y f\nd nei!r magicians nor wise m51 all !y f\nd 7 two eld]ly & fri5dly little m5 :o seem$ unable to speak &1 9 "s special way1 dem5t$4 ,!y w\ld laugh1 & tell _! fri5ds ab\t h[ fooli% & cr$ul\s ^? p 7 :o spread su* empty rum\rs4 ,! ye>s w5t by & nobody c\nt$ !m4 ,"o "t !re came monks on a pilgrimage1 disciples ( ,gotama1 ! buddha1 & !y ask$ ! f]rym5 to take !m across ! riv]1 & ! f]rym5 le>n$ t !y 7 hurry+ back to _! great tea*] because ^w 0 spread+ t ! noble "o 0 mortally ill & mu/ soon suff] 8 la/ dea? z a human be=e go+ to 8 release4 ,n long aft] came a new flux ( monks on pilgrimage1 & !n ano!r1 & n only ! monks b mo/ ( ! o!r travell]s & w&]]s spoke ( no?+ b ,gotama & 8 imp5d+ dea?4 ,!re 0 a fl[ ( p "h f all p>ts z if !y _h be5 an army on campaign or 7 go+ to att5d ! coronation ( a k+1 !y collect$ l ants1 !y fl[$ z if drawn by "s k9d ( magic on _! way to :]e ! great buddha lay await+ dea?1 to ! place :]e t awful ev5t w\ld take place & ! great p]fect "o ( an era w\ld rise to maje/y4 ,at ?is "t ,siddh>?a ?\ght a great deal ab\t ! wise man z he 0 dy+1 ab\t ! great tea*] ^: voice _h admoni%$ & :o _h br\ght hundr$s ( ?\s&s to an awak5+1 ^: voice he too _h le>n$ f & ^: holy face he too _h once look$ on ) v5]ation4 ,he ?\ght ( him ) k9dness1 saw 8 way to p]fection be=e 8 eyes &1 ) a smile1 ?\ght ( ! words :i* he once1 z a "y man1 _h put to him1 ! noble "o4 ,^? words n[ seem$ pr\d & arrogant to him1 & he rememb]$ !m ) a smile4 ,he _h long kn[n t !re 0 no?+ t made him diff]5t f ,gotama1 ?\gh he 0 n able to accept 8 tea*+s4 ,no1 a true seek] w\ld nev] be able to accept any tea*+s1 n if he truly want$ to f9d :at he s\ght4 ,b he :o has f\nd :at he s\ght w\ld f9d goodness 9 any tea*+s at all1 any pa?1 any objective1 he w\ld be 9 no way diff]5t f ! ?\s&s ( o!rs :o liv$ 9 et]nity1 :o brea!d 9 ! brea? ( ! div9e4 ,"o ( ^? days1 :5 !re 7 s _m mak+ pilgrimage to ! dy+ buddha1 ,kamala1 :o _h once be5 ! mo/ beautiful ( ! c\rtesans1 also made pilgrimage to him4 ,%e _h long s9ce )drawn f h] e>li] way ( life1 _h giv5 h] g>d5 to ,gotama's monks1 _h s\ght refuge 9 8 tea*+s1 0 "o ( ! fri5ds & b5efactors ( pilgrims4 ,toge!r ) h] son1 ,siddh>?a1 %e _h he>d news ( ,gotama's imp5d+ dea? & set out1 on foot & 9 simple clo!s1 on h] way to him4 ,%e 0 on h] way ) h] little son along ! riv]3 b ! lad soon became tir$1 he want$ to g back home1 he want$ to re/1 he want$ some?+ to eat1 he became difficult & :9+4 ,kamala 0 frequ5tly oblig$ to re/ ) him1 he 0 us$ to impos+ 8 w on h]1 %e _h to fe$ him1 _h to com=t him1 _h to discipl9e him4 ,! boy 0 unable to und]/& :y he _h to g on ?is sad & ardu\s pilgrimage ) 8 "m1 to g to a place he did n "k ab\t1 to g to a /range man :o 0 some?+ holy & :o lay dy+4 ,s let him die6 ,:y %\ld x matt] to him8 ,! pilgrims 7 n f> f ,vasudeva's f]ry :5 "y ,siddh>?a once m insi/$ he & 8 "m %\ld /op & re/4 ,kamala1 too1 0 tir$ & :ile ! lad mun*$ on a banana %e sank to ! gr\nd &1 ) eyes half clos$1 re/$4 ,sudd5ly ?\gh1 %e gave out a pi]c+ scream1 ! boy look$ at h] 9 %ock & saw h] face pale ) horror z out f h] dress em]g$ a small black snake :i* _h j bitt5 h]4 ,! two ( !m n[ ran along ! pa? to rea* p z soon z !y c\ld & 7 ne> ! f]ry cross+ :5 ,kamala collaps$1 unable to g any fur!r4 ,b ! lad rais$ a pitiful cry z he kiss$ & embrac$ 8 "m1 :o add$ h] own voice to ! boy's l\d calls = help4 ,! s\nd rea*$ ! e>s ( ,vasudeva z he /ood by ! f]ry & he hurri$ to ,kamala & h] son4 ,he took ! woman by ! arm & c>ri$ h] into ! boat1 ! boy also ran 91 & !y 7 all soon 9 ! hut :]e ,siddh>?a /ood at ! /ove1 light+ ! fire4 ,he look$ up & saw1 fir/ ( all1 ! face ( ! boy :i* rem9d$ him1 9 a way t 0 bo? wond]ful & reproa*ful1 ( some?+ he _h =gott54 ,!n he saw ,kamala4 ,he recognis$ h] imm$iately ev5 ?\gh %e lay unconsci\s 9 ! arms ( ! f]ryman1 & n[ he realis$ t x 0 ! face ( 8 own son t _h s reproa*$ him1 & 8 he>t mov$ )9 8 brea/4 ,kamala's w\nd 0 wa%$1 b 0 already black & h] body 0 swoll51 a heal+ dr9k 0 p\r$ into h]4 ,consci\sness return$ to h] z %e lay on ,siddh>?a's b$ 9 ! hut1 ,siddh>?a leant ov] h]1 he :o _h once _h su* e>ne/ love = h]4 ,%e ?\ght %e 0 dream+1 &1 ) a smile1 look$ into ! face ( h] fri5d1 sl[ly began to realise :]e %e 01 rememb]$ ! snake bite1 & call$ out anxi\sly = ! boy4 8,he is ) y4 ,y ne$ n worry10 said ,siddh>?a4 ,kamala look$ into 8 eyes4 ,%e spoke ) a heavy tongue1 made clumsy by ! v5om4 8,y h gr[n old1 my love10 %e said1 8y h gone grey4 ,b y are j l ! "y samana :o once came to me 9 ! g>d5 ) no clo!s & ) du/y feet4 ,y are mu* m l him ?an y 7 !n = y h gone away f me & ,kamaswami4 ,9 y\r eyes y are j l him1 ,siddh>?a4 ,oh1 ,i too h gr[n old1 old - did y /ill recognise me80 ,siddh>?a smil$4 8,i recognis$ y imm$iately1 ,kamala1 my love40 ,kamala po9t$ to h] boy & said1 8,did y recognise him1 too8 ,he is y\r son40 ,h] eyes became erratic & fell %ut4 ,! boy wept1 ,siddh>?a took him on 8 knee1 let him cry1 /rok$ 8 hair &1 z he look$ at ! *ild's face1 a brahmanic pray] t he _h once le>n$ came to 8 m9d1 "o t he _h le>n$ :5 he himself 0 a lad4 ,sl[ly1 ) melodic voice1 he began to say x1 ! words fl[$ into him f ! pa/1 f 8 *ildhood4 ,affect$ by 8 s+-song ! boy became quiet1 sobb$ n[ & !n1 & !n fell asleep4 ,siddh>?a put him d[n on ,vasudeva's b$4 ,vasudeva /ood at ! /ove cook+ rice4 ,siddh>?a ?rew him a glance :i* he return$ ) a smile4 8,%e's dy+10 said ,siddh>?a quietly4 ,vasudeva nodd$1 ! light ( ! fire 9 ! /ove ran ov] 8 fri5dly face4 ,kamala became consci\s once aga94 ,h] face 0 twi/$ ) pa91 ,siddh>?a's eye c\ld read ! pa9 on h] m\?1 on h] pale *eeks4 ,he read x 9 sil5ce1 wat*+1 wait+1 imm]s$ 9 h] suff]+4 ,kamala felt x1 h] eyes s\ght 84 ,look+ at him1 %e said1 8,i c see1 n[1 t y\r eyes h *ang$4 ,!y h become q diff]5t4 ,h[ is x t ,i c /ill see t y are ,siddh>?a8 ,y are ,siddh>?a1 yet y are n40 ,siddh>?a said no?+1 8 eyes look$ into h]s 9 sil5ce4 8,h y a*iev$ x80 %e ask$4 8,h y f\nd peace80 ,he smil$1 & laid 8 h& on h]s4 8,i c see x10 %e said1 8,i c see x4 ,i w f9d peace too40 8,y h f\nd peace10 said ,siddh>?a 9 a :isp]4 ,kamala look$ /eadily into 8 eyes4 ,%e ?\ght ( h[ %e _h int5d$ to make pilgrimage to ,gotama 9 ord] to see ! face ( a p]fect "o1 9 ord] to brea! 9 8 peace1 & n[ in/ead ( f9d+ ,gotama %e _h f\nd ,siddh>?a1 & x 0 good s1 j z good z if %e _h se5 ,gotama4 ,%e want$ to tell him s1 b h] tongue w\ld no long] d z %e wi%$4 ,%e look$ at him 9 sil5ce1 & he saw 9 h] eyes h[ h] life 0 fad+4 ,:5 h] f9al pa9 fill$ h] eyes1 :5 ! f9al %udd] ran ?r\gh h] limbs1 he put 8 f+] to h] eyelids & clos$ !m4 ,he sat !re long1 look+ at h] n[ lifeless face4 ,he look$ long at h] m\?1 h] ag$ tir$ m\? ) its lips1 t n[ _h become ?91 & he rememb]$ h[ once1 9 ! spr+time ( 8 ye>s1 h[ he _h once comp>$ ?is m\? ) a fre%ly op5$ fig4 ,he sat !re long1 /udi$ t pale face1 ^? tir$ creases1 fill$ himself ) :at he saw !re1 saw 8 own face ly+ 9 ! same way1 j z :ite1 j z ext+ui%$1 simultane\sly saw 8 own face & h]s ) its r$ lips1 its burn+ eyes1 & ! s5se ( ! pres5t & ( simultaneity p]meat$ 8 be+1 ! s5se ( et]nity4 ,he felt x deeply1 m deeply ?an he _h ev] felt x be=e1 n[ 9 t mom5t ( ! immortality ( e life1 ! et]nity ( e glance4 ,:5 he rais$ himself ,vasudeva _h prep>$ rice = him4 ,b ,siddh>?a did n eat4 ,9 ! /all :]e !y kept _! goat ! two old m5 prep>$ a b$s ( /raw = !mselves1 & ,vasudeva lay d[n to sleep4 ,siddh>?a1 ?\gh1 w5t outside & sp5t ! night sitt+ 9 front ( ! hut1 li/5+ to ! riv]1 ! pa/ fl[+ ov] him1 all ! ages ( 8 life at ! same "t t\*+ him & embrac+ him4 ,f "t to "t1 ?\gh1 he w\ld raise himself1 g to ! door ( ! hut & li/5 to f9d out :e!r ! boy 0 sleep+4 ,e>ly 9 ! morn+1 ev5 be=e ! sun _h become visible1 ,vasudeva came out ( ! /all & w5t to 8 fri5d4 8,y h n slept10 he said4 8,no1 ,vasudeva4 ,i sat "h li/5+ to ! riv]4 ,he told me mu*1 he fill$ me deeply ) ! heal+ ?\ght1 ! ?\ght ( unity40 8,y h gone ?r\gh pa91 ,siddh>?a1 b ,i c see t !re is no sadness t has ent]$ y\r he>t40 8,no1 my fri5d1 :at d ,i h to be sad ab\t8 ,i us$ to be ri* & happy1 & n[ ,i h become ev5 ri*] & happi]4 ,i h receiv$ ! gift ( a son40 8,y\r son is also welcome4 ,b n[1 ,siddh>?a1 let u g to "w1 !re is mu* to be done4 ,kamala di$ on ! same b$ z my wife did1 long ago4 ,let u make h] pyre on ! same hill :]e ,i made h]s40 ,!y built h] pyre :ile ! boy /ill slept4 ,,! ,,son ,at 8 "m's fun]al ! boy 0 %y & te>ful1 ,siddh>?a greet$ him z 8 son & told him he 0 welcome 9 ,vasudeva's hut & he 0 %y & gloomy z he li/5$4 ,) pale face he sat all day on ! hill ( ! dead1 refus$ to eat1 refus$ to look1 refus$ to op5 8 he>t1 /ruggl$ to def5d himself aga9/ fate4 ,siddh>?a _h respect = 8 grief & did no?+ to *ange 8 behavi\r4 ,he und]/ood t 8 son did n "k him & c\ld n love him z a fa!r4 ,sl[ly1 he also saw & und]/ood t ! elev5 ye> old 0 spoilt1 a mummy's boy1 z he grew he _h become us$ to ri*es & fancy food1 to a s(t b$ & to giv+ ord]s to s]vants4 ,siddh>?a und]/ood t1 spoilt & griev+ z ! boy 01 he w\ld n become cont5t ) pov]ty 9 a /range place ei!r quickly or ) good grace4 ,he did n =ce him1 he did _m jobs = him1 always f\nd ! da9tie/ food = him4 ,he hop$ he c\ld sl[ly w9 him ov] by fri5dl9ess & pati5ce4 ,he _h c\nt$ himself ri* & happy :5 ! lad came to him4 ,b "t fl[$ by & ! boy cont9u$ to be ali5 & gloomy1 he %[$ a he>t t 0 pr\d & trucul5t1 want$ to d no "w1 %[$ no respect = 8 eld]s1 robb$ ,vasudeva ( ! fruit on 8 trees1 & s ,siddh>?a began to und]/& t x 0 n peace & happ9ess t ! boy _h br\ght ) him b sorr[ & worries4 ,b ,siddh>?a lov$ him1 & he pref]r$ ! sorr[ & worries ( love ov] ! happ9ess he _h enjoy$ )\t ! boy4 ,s9ce ! "y ,siddh>?a _h be5 9 ! hut ! two old m5 _h tak5 on sep>ate tasks4 ,vasudeva _h once m tak5 on ! (fice ( f]ryman by himself &1 9 ord] to be ) 8 son1 x 0 ,siddh>?a :o did ! "w 9 ! hut & ! fields4 ,siddh>?a wait$ long1 ?r\gh _m mon?s1 = 8 son to und]/& him1 = him to accept 8 love1 = him p]haps to return x4 ,vasudeva wait$ long1 :ile he wat*$ & wait$ & said no?+4 ,"o day ?\gh1 :5 ! lad _h aga9 made 8 fa!r suff] ) 8 disob$i5ce & bad hum\r & _h brok5 bo? rice di%es1 ,vasudeva took 8 fri5d aside :5 ev5+ _h come & spoke to him4 8,please =give me10 he said1 8if ,i say some?+ to y1 z ,i d s ) a fri5dly he>t4 ,i see t y are suff]+1 ,i see t y are worry+4 ,y\r son1 my fri5d1 is caus+ y worries & he is caus+ me worries too40 8,he is us$ to a diff]5t life1 he is a "y bird us$ to a diff]5t ne/4 ,he did n run away f weal? & ! city 9 we>y disgu/ z y did1 he 0 made to leave all ?is beh9d him aga9/ 8 w4 ,i h ask$ ! riv]1 my fri5d1 ,i h ask$ him _m times4 ,b ! riv] laughs at me1 he laughs at bo? ( u & %akes 8 head at our folly4 ,wat] w be wat]1 boys w be boys1 y\r son is n 9 a place :]e he c fl\ri%4 ,y too %\ld ask ! riv]1 y too %\ld li/5 to :at he says60 ,siddh>?a look$ anxi\sly at ! fri5dly face :i* %[$1 9 ! _m wr9kles x bore1 t x 0 ! home ( con/ant *e]fulness4 8,d y ?9k1 !n1 t ,i w\ld be able to sep>ate myself f him80 he said g5tly1 ) "s %ame4 8,all[ me "s "t1 my fri5d6 ,look1 ,i am /ruggl+ = him1 ,i am try+ to w9 8 he>t1 ,i am try+ to ga9 x ) love & ) fri5dly pati5ce4 ,& "o day ! riv] w speak also to him1 he also has a call+40 ,vasudeva's smile became w>m]4 8,oh yes1 he also has a call+1 he also is "p ( ! et]nal life4 ,b d we "k1 y & ,i1 :at x is t he is call$ to1 :at pa?1 :at acts1 :at suff]+s8 ,8 suff]+s w n be light1 he has a he>t t is pr\d & h>d1 su* z he mu/ suff] greatly1 make _m mi/akes1 commit _m inju/ices1 burd5 !mselves ) _m s9s4 ,tell me1 my fri5d2 are y n br++ y\r son up8 ,d y n compel him to d :at he does n want to d8 ,d y n /rike him8 ,d y n puni% him80 8,no1 ,vasudeva1 ,i d n d any ( ^? ?+s40 8,i knew x4 ,y d n compel him1 y d n /rike him1 y give him no ord]s1 because y "k t s(tness is /rong] ?an h>dness1 wat] /rong] ?an /one1 love /rong] ?an viol5ce4 ,t is v good1 & ,i praise y = x4 ,b are y n mi/ak5 9 ?9k+ y %\ld n compel him1 %\ld n puni% him8 ,d y n b9d him 9 ! bondage ( y\r love8 ,d y n %ame him e day1 mak+ x m difficult = him ) y\r goodness & pati5ce8 ,d y n compel ?is arrogant & spoilt *ild to live 9 a hut ) a pair ( ag$ banana eat]s = :om ev5 rice is a luxury1 ^: ?\ghts _c ev] be 8 ?\ghts1 ^: he>t is old & quiet & :o are foll[+ a diff]5t pa? f 88 ,is all ( ?is n a compulsion on him1 n a puni%m5t80 ,siddh>?a saw t ,vasudeva 0 "r & look$ d[n at ! gr\nd4 ,g5tly he ask$ him1 8,:at is x y ?9k ,i %\ld d80 ,vasudeva said1 8,take him to ! city1 take him to 8 "m's h\se1 ! s]vants w /ill be !re1 give him ov] to !m4 ,& if !re are no s]vants /ill !re !n take him to a tea*]1 n = ! sake ( be+ taught b s t he c h ! company ( o!r boys1 & ( girls1 take him into ! _w :i* is 8 _w4 ,h y nev] ?\ght ( t80 8,y h se5 into my he>t10 said ,siddh>?a sadly4 8,i h (t5 ?\ght ( do+ t4 ,b li/51 h[ %\ld ,i put him into ?is _w :5 he does n h a g5tle he>t z x is8 ,w he n become extravagant1 w he n lose himself 9 ! pursuit ( fun & ( p[]1 w he n repeat all ! errors ( 8 fa!r1 might he n become totally lo/ 9 sans>a80 ,! f]ryman's smile %one brightly2 he g5tly t\*$ ,siddh>?a's arm & said1 8,ask ! riv] ab\t x1 my fri5d6 ,li/5 to him laugh+ ab\t x6 ,d y really ?9k t y h gone ?r\gh ^! follies ( y\rs s t y\r son w\ld n h to8 ,& c y protect y\r son f sans>a8 ,h[8 ,by tea*+1 by pray]1 by admoni%m5t8 ,de> fri5d1 h y entirely =gott5 t /ory1 t /ory ( ! well educat$ brahm9's son1 ,siddh>?a1 t y once told me once on ?is v spot8 ,:o 0 x :o held ,siddh>?a ! samana back f sans>a1 f s91 f gre$1 f folly8 ,! piety ( 8 fa!r1 8 tea*+s & 8 w>n+s1 8 own wisdom & 8 own seek+s1 7 ^! ?+s able to keep ,siddh>?a safe8 ,:at fa!r1 :at tea*] has be5 able to protect him f liv+ 8 own life1 f soil+ himself ) ! dirt ( life1 f tak+ guilt onto himself1 f tak+ ! bitt] dr9k himself1 f hav+ to f9d 8 pa? = himself8 8,d y really ?9k1 my fri5d1 t !re is anyone :o is sp>$ ?is pa?8 ,d y ?9k y\r "y son might be sp>$ sorr[ & pa9 & disappo9t$ because y love him & y want to save him f ^? ?+s8 ,y c\ld die = him t5 times ov]1 b y /ill w\ld n take ev5 ! t9ie/ "p ( 8 de/9y onto y\rself40 ,vasudeva _h nev] spok5 s _m words be=e4 ,siddh>?a gave him 8 fri5dly ?anks1 !n1 feel+ anxi\s1 he w5t into ! hut1 b 0 long unable to sleep4 ,vasudeva _h said no?+ to him t he _h n already ?\ght & kn[n4 ,b x 0 k t he c\ld n implem5t1 8 love = ! lad 0 /rong] ?an t k1 8 affection 0 /rong]1 ! fe> ( los+ him 0 /rong]4 ,_h he ev] be=e lo/ 8 he>t = any?+ s completely1 _h he ev] lov$ anyone ?is mu*1 s bl9dly1 s passionately1 s hopelessly & yet s happily8 ,siddh>?a 0 n able to foll[ 8 fri5d's advice1 8 0 n able to give 8 son up4 ,he all[$ ! boy to give him ord]s1 he all[$ him to %[ him contempt4 ,he rema9$ sil5t & wait$1 e day he w\ld beg9 ! wordless /ruggle = fri5dl9ess1 ! s\ndless w> ( pati5ce4 ,vasudeva1 too1 rema9$ sil5t & wait$1 ) fri5d%ip1 ) und]/&+1 ) =be>ance4 ,bo? ( !m 7 ma/]s ( pati5ce4 ,"o "t1 :5 ! boy's face rem9d$ him especially ( ,kamala1 ,siddh>?a sudd5ly rememb]$ some?+ t ,kamala1 long be=e _h said to him :5 he 0 "y2 %e _h once said to him1 8y are n capable ( love10 & he _h conc$$ t %e 0 "r4 ,he _h be5 comp>+ himself ) a />1 :ile comp>+ ! *ildlike p ) fall+ leaves1 b he _h none!less felt an accusation 9 e ^w4 ,x 0 true t he _h nev] be5 able to entirely lose himself 9 ano!r p]son & devote himself to !m till he =got himself1 _h nev] und]gone ! folly ( love = ano!r2 he _h nev] be5 capable ( x1 & x _h seem$ to him !n t t 0 ! great diff]5ce t divid$ him f ! *ildlike p4 ,b n[1 s9ce 8 son _h be5 !re1 ev5 he1 ,siddh>?a1 _h become entirely *ildlike1 feel+ sorr[ = someone1 feel+ love = someone1 los+ himself 9 love1 becom+ a fool = love4 ,x 0 late1 b n[ ev5 he felt = once 9 8 life ?is /ronge/ & odde/ ( passions1 suff]$ = x1 suff]$ griev\sly b 0 none!less bless$1 none!less some:at rejuv5at$1 some:at weal?i]4 ,he 0 well aw>e t ?is love1 ?is bl9d love = 8 son1 0 a passion1 some?+ v human1 aw>e t x 0 sans>a1 a cl\dy s\rce1 a d>k wat]4 ,b he felt at ! same "t t x 0 n )\t value1 t x 0 some?+ necess>y1 t x sprang f its own ess5ce4 ,ev5 ?is crav+ _h to be paid =1 ev5 ^! pa9s _h to be ta/$1 ev5 ^! follies _h to be gone ?r\gh4 ,dur+ all ?is ! son let him g ?r\gh ^! follies1 let him try to w9 him ov]1 e day he w\ld humiliate him ) 8 moods4 ,?is fa!r ( 8 _h no?+ t pleas$ him & no?+ t he w\ld be afraid (4 ,he 0 a good man1 ?is fa!r1 a good1 good-natur$ & g5tle man1 p]haps a v pi\s man1 p]haps a holy man - b none ( ^! *>act]i/ics 7 any?+ t c\ld w9 ! boy ov]4 ,he f\nd 8 fa!r bor+1 keep+ him prison] 9 ?is mis]able hut ( 81 he 0 bor+1 & e "t he behav$ badly he w\ld respond ) a smile1 respond to insults ) fri5dl9ess1 respond to malice ) goodness4 ,?is 0 probably ! trick ( ! old creep t he hat$ mo/4 ,! boy w\ld r h _h him ?reat5 him & mi/reat him4 ,! day came :5 ! "y ,siddh>?a felt x 0 "t to break out1 & he turn$ aga9/ 8 fa!r q op5ly4 ,siddh>?a _h giv5 him ! task ( collect+ firewood1 b ! boy did n leave ! hut1 he /ood !re 9 angry defiance1 /amp$ 8 foot1 cl5*$ 8 fi/s & bur/ out 9 a fit1 scream+ hatr$ & contempt 9 8 fa!r's face4 8,get ! firewood y\rself60 he %\t$1 fro?+ at ! m\?1 8,i'm n y\r s]vant4 ,i'm well aw>e y nev] hit me1 #8cause y don't d>e to2 ,i'm well aw>e y want to puni% me a make me small ) y\r ,god-fe>+ness & y\r s(tness4 ,y want me to be j l y1 all pi\s & all g5tle & all full ( wisdom6 ,b li/56 ,i'm go+ to make y sorry1 ,i'd r be a b&it on ! roads1 r be a murd]] & g to ,hell ?an be l y6 ,i hate y1 y're n my fa!r ev5 if y'd be5 my "m's lov] t5 times ov]60 ,he gu%$ ov] ) ang] & self-pity1 spat a hundr$ vapid & spiteful words out at 8 fa!r4 ,!n ! boy ran (f & did n come back until late 9 ! ev5+4 ,b by ! foll[+ morn+ he _h disappe>$4 ,! little basket1 wov5 ( fibres 9 two col\rs 9 :i* ! f]rym5 kept all ! copp] or silv]s co9s !y receiv$ z pass5g]s' f>es1 0 also miss+4 ,also _! boat 0 miss+1 :i* ,siddh>?a saw ly+ at ! o!r side ( riv]4 ,! boy _h run away4 8,i w h to g aft] him10 said ,siddh>?a1 :o 0 /ill %ak5 f ! previ\s day's tirade by ! boy4 8,a *ild _c g ?r\gh ! =e/ by himself4 ,he w be kill$4 ,we ne$ to build a raft1 ,vasudeva1 to get across ! wat]40 8,we w build a raft10 said ,vasudeva1 8to fet* back our boat t ! lad took away4 ,b y %\ld let him g1 my fri5d1 he is n a *ild any m1 he kn[s h[ to look aft] himself4 ,he is look+ = ! way to ! city1 & he is "r1 d n =get t4 ,he is do+ :at y h fail$ to d y\rself4 ,he is look+ aft] himself1 he is foll[+ 8 own pa?4 ,oh ,siddh>?a1 ,i c see t y are suff]+1 b ! pa9s y are suff]+ are pa9s t c\ld be laugh$ ab\t1 pa9s t y too w soon laugh ab\t40 ,siddh>?a gave no answ]4 ,he already held ! *opp] 9 8 h& & _h begun to build ! raft f bamboo wood4 ,vasudeva help$ him to tie !m toge!r ) rope made ( grass4 ,!n !y made ! cross+1 7 c>ri$ f> (f c\rse &1 on ! opposite %ore1 pull$ ! raft back up/ream4 8,:y h y br\ght ! *opp] ) y80 ask$ ,siddh>?a4 ,vasudeva answ]$1 8,x c\ld be t ! rudd] ( our boat w be miss+40 ,b ,siddh>?a knew :at 8 fri5d 0 ?9k+4 ,he 0 ?9k+ t ! boy w h ?r[n ! rudd] away or sma%$ x 9 ord] to take 8 rev5ge & to make x h>d] to foll[ him4 ,& ! rudd] 0 inde$ no long] 9 ! boat4 ,vasudeva po9t$ to ! floor ( ! boat & look$ at 8 fri5d ) a smile1 z if he meant to say1 8,d y n see :at x is t y\r son wants to tell y8 ,d y n see t he does n want to be pursu$80 ,he did n1 h[ev]1 say ?is 9 words4 ,he set ab\t mak+ a new rudd]1 b ,siddh>?a took 8 leave & w5t to se>* = ! fugitive4 ,vasudeva did no?+ to /op him4 ,siddh>?a _h long be5 mak+ 8 way ?r\gh ! =e/ be=e x occurr$ to him t 8 se>* 0 po9tless4 ,on ! "o h&1 he ?\ght1 ! boy might be a long way ahead ( him & _h already rea*$ ! city or1 on ! o!r1 if he 0 /ill on 8 j\rney he w\ld hide himself f 8 pursu]4 ,he cont9u$ to ?9k ab\t ?is1 & he f\nd t he 0 n himself worri$ ab\t 8 son =1 deep )9 himself1 he knew he _h nei!r be5 kill$ nor fac$ any dang] 9 ! woods4 ,siddh>?a none!less hurri$ on )\t re/1 no long] 9 ord] to save 8 son b j because !re 0 some?+ he want$1 j 9 ord] to h ! *ance ( see+ him aga94 ,he cont9u$ to hurry =w>d until he 0 at ! outskirts ( ! city4 ,ne> by ! city1 on ! broad highway1 he rea*$ ! entrance to ! beautiful pleasure g>d5 :i* _h once belong$ to ,kamala1 :]e he _h se5 h] = ! fir/ "t c>ri$ on h] litt]1 & !re he /opp$4 ,! memory rose up 9 8 s\l & he once m saw himself /&+ !re1 a "y & nak$ samana1 be>d$ & ) hair full ( du/4 ,siddh>?a /ood !re long1 look+ 9 ?r\gh ! op5 gate into ! g>d5 :]e monks 9 yell[ robes walk$ ab\t "u ! beautiful trees4 ,he /ood !re long1 ?9k+1 see+ pictures1 li/5+ to ! /ory ( 8 life4 ,he /ood !re long1 wat*+ ! monks1 & in/ead ( see+ !m he saw ! "y ,siddh>?a1 saw ! "y ,kamala z %e mov$ ab\t "u ! l(ty trees4 ,he saw himself cle>ly1 h[ ,kamala made him h] gue/1 h[ he accept$ h] fir/ kiss1 ! pride & contempt he felt z he look$ back on 8 life z a brahm91 ! pride & gre$ ) :i* he began 8 secul> life4 ,he saw ,kamaswami1 saw ! s]vants1 saw ! wild p>ties1 ! gambl]s ) _! dice1 ! musicians1 he saw ,kamala's songbird 9 its cage1 he liv$ ?r\gh all ?is once aga91 he brea!d sans>a1 he 0 once aga9 old & tir$1 felt once aga9 ! wi% to ext+ui% himself1 0 heal$ once aga9 by ! holy ,om4 ,he /ood long at ! gateway into ! g>d5 until he saw t x 0 a fooli% wi% t _h driv5 him to ?is place1 t he 0 unable to help 8 son1 t he %\ld n /ay too atta*$ to him4 ,he felt 8 love = ! fugitive deep 9 8 he>t1 l a w\nd1 & at ! same "t he saw t ! w\nd _h n be5 giv5 to him = him to dig at x1 b t x w\ld blossom & _h to %9e4 ,x made him sad t by ?is "t ! w\nd /ill _h n blossom$1 /ill did n %9e4 ,in/ead ( hav+ an objective = 8 wi%es1 ! objective t _h drawn him to ?is place 9 pursuit ( 8 runaway son1 he n[ _h no?+4 ,di%e>t5$1 he sat d[n1 felt some?+ die )9 8 he>t1 felt ! empt9ess1 saw no?+ to br+ him joy1 no?+ to be 8 objective4 ,he sat !re deep 9 ?\ght & wait$4 ,?is 0 :at he _h le>n$ at ! riv]side1 j ?is3 to wait1 to be pati5t1 to li/54 ,& he sat & li/5$1 9 ! du/ ( ! road1 he li/5$ to 8 sad & tir$ he>t1 he wait$ = a voice4 ,he rema9$ !re = _m h\rs1 cr\*$ & li/5+1 he saw no m pictures1 he sank into empt9ess1 all[$ himself to s9k1 & saw no pa? to foll[4 ,& :5 he felt ! w\nd burn+ he w\ld sil5tly utt] ,om1 w\ld fill himself ) ,om4 ,! monks 9 ! g>d5 saw him1 = he cr\*$ !re = _m h\rs1 & on 8 grey hair ! du/ accumulat$1 "o ( !m came to him & put two bananas d[n 9 front ( him4 ,! old man did n see him4 ,he 0 wok5 f ?is /upor by a h& %ak+ 8 %\ld]4 ,he recognis$ ?is g5tle & t5tative movem5t /raight away1 & came out ( 8 /ate4 ,he /ood up & greet$ ,vasudeva :o _h come aft] him4 ,& z he look$ into ,vasudeva's fri5dly face1 into ^? *e]ful little eyes surr\nd$ by _m laught] wr9kles1 he smil$ too4 ,n[ he saw ! bananas ly+ 9 front ( him1 lift$ !m up1 gave "o to ! f]ryman & ate ! o!r "o himself4 ,!n he & ,vasudeva w5t 9 sil5ce back into ! wood & back to _! home at ! f]ry po9t4 ,nei!r spoke ( :at _h happ5$ t day1 nei!r spoke ! "n ( ! lad1 nei!r spoke ( 8 flight1 nei!r spoke ( ! w\nd4 ,9 ! hut ,siddh>?a lay d[n on 8 b$ & a little :ile lat]1 :5 ,vasudeva came to him to (f] him a cup ( coconut milk1 he f\nd he 0 already asleep4 ,,om ,! w\nd cont9u$ to cause pa94 ,siddh>?a _h to take _m travell]s across ! riv] :o _h a son or a daught] ) !m1 & !re 0 n "o ( !m :om ,siddh>?a did n look on ) envy1 & he w\ld ?9k1 8,!re are s _m1 s _m ?\s&s1 :o h ?is noble/ ( happ9ess - :y d ,i n8 ,ev5 evil p1 ev5 ?ieves & robb]s h *ildr5 :om !y love & :o are lov$ by !m1 & ,i alone d n h40 ,?is 0 ! simplicity ( 8 ?\ghts at t "t1 s lack+ 9 und]/&+1 s simil> _h he become to ! *ild-l p4 ,he no long] look$ on p 9 ! way he _h done1 less clev]1 less pr\d1 b ) m w>m?1 m curiosity1 m conc]n$4 ,:5 he c>ri$ p :o 7 normal - *ild-p1 bus9essm51 soldi]s1 wom5 - ^! p did n seem z ali5 to him z !y _h done previ\sly3 he und]/ood !m1 he %>$ ! life !y l$1 a life :i* 0 n direct$ by ?\ghts & insights b solely by drives & wi%es1 he felt he 0 ! same z !y 74 ,he 0 n[ ne> lib]ation1 ?\gh he /ill suff]$ f ! w\nd :i* 0 /ill fre%4 ,^! p seem$ to him none!less to be 8 bro!rs1 ^! *ildlike p1 ) all _! vanities1 _! gre$ & _! ridicul\sness1 no long] seem$ ridicul\s1 !y _h become und]/&able1 become des]v+ ( love1 ev51 x seem$ to him1 become v5]able4 ,! bl9d love ( a "m = h] *ild1 ! /upid bl9d pride ( an ov]-pr\d fa!r = 8 only little son1 ! vanity ( a "y woman :o has a bl9d wild wi% = m jewelry & = admiration 9 ! eyes ( m51 all ^! drives1 all ?is *ildi%ness1 all ^! simple drives & gre$s :i* 7 s fooli% b s mon/r\sly /rong1 /rong = life1 /rong en\gh to make !mselves felt4 ,= ,siddh>?a n[1 ^! drives & gre$s 7 no long] *ildi%1 he saw h[ !y gave p life1 he saw h[ p c\ld a*ieve ! inf9ite1 h[ !y c\ld g on j\rneys1 wage w>1 be> inf9ite sorr[s1 & he 0 able to love !m = x1 he saw life1 he saw ! liv+1 he saw ! inde/ructible1 he saw ,brahman 9 all _! sorr[s & all _! actions4 ,^! p _h a fai? t 0 bl9d1 bl9d 0 _! /r5g? & _! t5d]ness1 & t made !m des]v+ ( bo? love & ( admiration4 ,!re 0 no?+ !y lack$1 !re 0 no way t ! wise man1 ! ?9k+ man1 0 ahead ( !m except = "o detail1 "o s+le t9y detail3 consci\sness1 consci\s aw>5ess ( ! unity ( all life4 ,& ,siddh>?a 0 (t5 9 d\bt z to :e!r he %\ld value ?is k1 ^! ?\ghts1 s highly1 :e!r he w\ld n also l to be z *ildlike z ! ?\ght-p ! *ildlike ?\ght-p4 ,9 all o!r respects ! p ( ! _w 7 ! equals ( ! wise1 9 _m respects f> sup]ior1 j l animals t d :at !y h to d ) h>%ness & )\t error1 animals t c seem at _m times sup]ior to man4 ,! realisation1 ! k ( :at wisdom actually is1 & ( :at x 0 t he _h be5 seek+ = s long1 0 sl[ to blossom1 sl[ to rip5 9 ,siddh>?a4 ,x 0 no?+ m ?an ! read9ess ( ! s\l1 a capability1 a secret tal5t1 to ?9k ! ?\ght ( ! "o at e mom5t1 9 ! middle ( life to feel ! "o1 ! ability to brea! ! "o4 ,?is 0 sl[ to blossom 9 him1 x %one on him back f ! *ild-l face ( ,vasudeva3 h>mony1 k ( et]nal p]fection1 ! _w1 a smile1 ! "o4 ,! w\nd1 h[ev]1 /ill burn$4 ,siddh>?a ye>n$ bitt]ly = 8 son1 he nurtur$ 8 love & t5d]ness 9 8 he>t1 he all[$ ! pa9 to consume him1 he w5t ?r\gh all ! follies ( love4 ,?is 0 a flame t w\ld n die away by itself4 ,"o day1 :5 ! w\nd 0 burn+ fi]cely1 ,siddh>?a1 impell$ by ! ye>n+ = 8 son1 cross$ ! riv]1 disemb>k$ & want$ to g to ! city to seek him out4 ,! riv] fl[$ ) g5tle smoo?ness1 x 0 ! dry "t ( ye>1 b 8 voice s\nd$ odd3 x 0 ! voice ( laught]4 ,x 0 cle>ly ! voice ( laught]4 ,! riv] 0 laugh+1 laugh+ brightly & cle>ly at ! ag$ f]ryman4 ,siddh>?a /opp$ & b5t t[>ds ! wat] 9 ord] to he> x bett]1 & 9 ! smoo?ly fl[+ wat] he saw ! reflection ( 8 own face1 & ?is reflection seem$ to rem9d him ( some?+1 some?+ =gott51 & z he ?\ght ab\t x he f\nd x3 ?is face 0 ! same z ano!r face he _h once kn[n & lov$ & fe>$4 ,x 0 ! same face z 8 fa!r's1 ! face ( ! brahm94 ,& he rememb]$ h[1 long ago z a "y man1 he _h =c$ 8 fa!r to let him g & jo9 ! p5it5ts1 h[ he _h tak5 8 leave ( him1 h[ he _h left & nev] gone back4 ,_h 8 fa!r n suff]$ ! same grief z he n[ suff]$ = 8 own son8 ,0 8 fa!r n n[ long dead1 dy+ alone )\t ev] hav+ se5 8 son aga98 ,w\ld he n n[ h to expect ! same fate = himself8 ,0 x n a com$y1 some?+ peculi> & /upid1 ?is repetition1 ?is runn+ r\nd 9 circles t w\ld lead only to 8 fate4 ,! riv] 0 laugh+4 ,x 0 true1 ev]y?+ came back to y t _h n be5 endur$ to ! end & resolv$1 ! same pa9s w\ld be suff]$ aga9 & aga94 ,b ,siddh>?a got back into ! boat & w5t back to ! hut1 ?9k+ ( 8 fa!r1 ?9k+ ( 8 son1 laugh$ at by ! riv]1 9 dispute ) himself1 incl9$ to d\bt & no less incl9$ to jo9 9 ) ! laught] at himself & at ! :ole _w4 ,b ! w\nd _h /ill n matur$ into blossom1 8 he>t /ill /ruggl$ aga9/ 8 fate1 !re 0 /ill no m]rim5t1 no victory1 %9+ f 8 suff]+4 ,he none!less felt hope1 & :5 he _h arriv$ back at ! hut he felt a wi% t he c\ld n ov]come to op5 himself to ,vasudeva1 to %[ him all1 him ! ma/] ( li/5+1 to tell him ev]y?+4 ,vasudeva sat 9 ! hut weav+ a basket4 ,he no long] w5t out on ! boat1 8 eyes 7 becom+ weak1 & n only 8 eyes2 8 arms & 8 h&s 7 becom+ weak too4 ,x 0 only 8 joy & ! *e]ful b5evol5ce %[n 9 8 face t rema9$ un*ang$ & fl\ri%+4 ,siddh>?a sat d[n by ! old man & sl[ly began to speak4 ,he told him ( ?+s !y _h nev] be=e discuss$1 ( 8 j\rney to ! city1 ( 8 burn+ w\nd1 ( 8 envy :5 he saw a happy fa!r1 ( 8 aw>5ess ( ! folly ( su* wi%es & 8 unsuccessful /ruggle aga9/ !m4 ,he told him all1 he 0 able to tell him all1 ev5 ! mo/ pa9ful1 all c\ld be said1 all c\ld be %[n1 all c\ld he relate4 ,he display$ 8 w\nd to him1 ev5 told him ( 8 attempt to flee t v day1 h[ he _h cross$ ! riv]1 flee+ l a *ild & wi%+ to walk to ! city1 h[ ! riv] _h laugh$ at him4 ,he spoke long1 ,vasudeva li/5$ ) a quiet expression on 8 face1 ,siddh>?a felt t ,vasudeva li/5$ m closely ?an he ev] _h be=e1 he felt h[ 8 pa91 8 anxieties fl[$ ov] to him1 h[ 8 secret hopes fl[$ ov] to him1 h[ he came across to meet him4 ,to tell ?is li/5] ab\t 8 w\nds 0 ! same a ba?+ !m 9 ! riv] till !y became cool & became "o ) ! riv]4 ,z he cont9u$ to speak1 cont9u$ to ackn[l$ge 8 faults1 cont9u$ to make 8 confession1 ,siddh>?a felt m & m t ?is 0 no long] ,vasudeva1 no long] a human be+1 t 0 li/5+ to him1 t ,vasudeva z he sat motionless & li/5+ 0 draw+ 9 8 confession l a tree draws up ra9wat]1 t ,vasudeva z he sat motionless 0 ! riv] himself1 t he 0 ,god himself1 t he 0 ! et]nal himself4 ,& z ,siddh>?a ceas$ ?9k+ ab\t himself & 8 w\nds aw>5ess ( ,vasudeva's *ang$ nature took possession ( him1 ! m he receiv$ x & p5etrat$ x1 ! less wond]ful x became & he saw t all 0 z x %\ld be1 all 0 natural1 he saw t ,vasudeva _h long be5 9 ?is /ate1 he _h almo/ always be5 9 ?is /ate1 he saw t only he _h n q und]/ood ?is1 he saw t he himself 0 h>dly sep>ate f him4 ,he p]ceiv$ t he n[ saw ! ag$ ,vasudeva 9 ! way t p see ! gods1 & t ?is 0 n some?+ t c\ld la/2 he began1 9 8 he>t1 to take 8 leave ( ,vasudeva4 ,& z he saw ^! ?+s he cont9u$ to speak4 ,:5 he _h f9ally f9i%$ speak+ ,vasudeva rais$ 8 eyes1 fri5dly b gr[n some:at weak1 to ,siddh>?a4 ,he said no?+1 b 9 sil5ce he rema9$ *e]ful & %one 8 love1 8 und]/&+1 & 8 wisdom onto him4 ,he took ,siddh>?a's h&1 l$ him out to _! seat at ! riv]side1 sat d[n ) him1 & smil$ d[n at ! wat]4 8,y he>d him laugh+10 he said4 8,b y did n he> ev]y?+4 ,let u li/51 y w he> m40 ,!y li/5$4 ,! song ( ! riv]1 sung 9 8 _m voices1 0 sweet4 ,siddh>?a look$ into ! wat]1 pictures appe>$ to him 9 ! wat] z x fl[$3 8 fa!r appe>$ to him1 alone & 9 m\rn+ = 8 son2 he appe>$ to himself1 alone & he1 too1 0 b\nd 9 ! fett]s ( long+ = 8 son2 8 son appe>$ to him1 also alone1 z ! lad hurri$ gre$ily along ! burn+ road ( 8 y\?ful desire4 ,ea* ( !m 0 direct$ to 8 aim1 ea* ( !m obsess$ ) 8 aim1 ea* ( !m suff]+4 ,! riv] sang ) a voice ( sorr[1 ) ye>n+ x sang1 ) ye>n+ x fl[$ t[>ds its aim1 its voice 0 "o ( lam5t4 ,)\t speak+1 ,vasudeva look$ at ,siddh>?a1 & 8 look ask$1 8,d y he>80 ,siddh>?a nodd$4 8,he> bett]10 ,vasudeva :isp]$4 ,siddh>?a /ra9$ to he> bett]4 ,! image ( 8 fa!r1 ! image ( himself1 ! image ( 8 son fl[$ 9 & out ( ea* o!r1 ! image ( ,kamala also appe>$ & fl[$ away1 ! image ( ,gov9da & o!r images appe>$1 fl[$ 9 & out ( ea* o!r1 ea* became a "p ( ! riv]1 ea* ( !m1 z a "p ( ! riv]1 /rove to rea* its aim1 ye>n+1 gre$y1 suff]+1 & ! voice ( ! riv] 0 full ( ye>n+1 full ( burn+ pa91 full ( insatiable desire4 ,! riv] /rove to rea* its aim1 ,siddh>?a saw x ru%+1 ! riv] t 0 made up ( him & ( ^? :o belong$ to him & all ! p he _h ev] se51 all ! waves & all ! wat] ru%$ 9 sorr[ to _! aim1 to _! _m aims1 to ! wat]fall1 to ! lake1 to ! rapids1 to ! sea1 & all ! aims 7 a*iev$1 & ea* "o 0 foll[$ by ano!r1 & wat] became /eam & rose up to ! sky1 x became ra9 & p\r$ f ! sky1 x became a spr+1 became a /ream1 became a riv]1 /riv+ = ! new1 fl[+ into ! new4 ,b ! voice ( ye>n+ _h *ang$4 ,x c\ld /ill be he>d1 full ( sorr[1 full ( se>*+1 b o!r voices came to keep x company1 voices ( joy & ( sorr[1 good voices & bad voices1 laugh+ & m\rn+1 a hundr$ voices1 a ?\s& voices4 ,siddh>?a li/5$4 ,by n[ he 0 no?+ b li/5]1 engross$ 9 li/5+1 q empty1 suck+ 91 he felt he _h n[ fully le>n$ h[ to li/54 ,he _h he>d all ^! ?+s _m times be=e1 all ^! voices 9 ! riv]1 b today x s\nd$ new4 ,he c\ld no long] di/+ui% ^! c\ntless voices1 n ! gay f ! plang5t1 n ! *ildi% f ! manly1 !y all belong$ toge!r1 lam5tations ( ye>n+1 laught] ( ! wise man1 ! %\t ( ang] & ! groans ( ! dy+1 all 0 z "o1 all 0 int]wov5 & conjo9$1 int]wov5 9 a ?\s& places4 ,& all ( ?is toge!r1 all ! voices1 all ! aims1 all ! ye>n+1 all ! sorr[s1 all ! joys1 all ! good & all ! bad1 all ( ?is toge!r 0 ! _w4 ,all ( ?is toge!r 0 ! ev5ts t happ5$1 fl[+ l ! riv]1 all ( ?is 0 ! music ( life4 ,& :5 ,siddh>?a li/5$ c>efully to ?is fl[1 to ?is riv] ) its ?\s& voices1 :5 he li/5$ n to ! sorr[ or ! laught]1 :5 he b\nd 8 s\l n ) any "o ( ^? voices & w5t into x ) 8 ,self1 b :5 he he>d ev]y?+1 ! :ole1 :5 he p]ceiv$ ! unity ( ! :ole1 t 0 :5 ! great song ( a ?\s& voices 0 made up ( a s+le ^w1 ! ^w ,om3 ,p]fection4 ,once m1 ,vasudeva's glance ask$1 8,d y he>80 ,vasudeva's smile %one brightly1 all r\nd ,vasudeva's face ) all its wr9kles !re 0 a gl[ ( brightness1 j z1 ov] & ar\nd all ! voices ( ! riv]1 !re 0 ! ,om4 ,8 smile %one brightly z he look$ at 8 fri5d1 also n[1 on ,siddh>?a's face1 ! same smile began to gl[ brightly4 ,8 w\nds blossom$1 8 sorr[ gl[$1 8 ,self _h fl[$ into ! unity4 ,x 0 at t mom5t t ,siddh>?a /opp$ /ruggl+ aga9/ 8 fate1 /opp$ suff]+4 ,on 8 face !re blossom$ ! gaiety ( k :5 !re is no long] any w /&+ aga9/ x1 ! k kn[n by lib]ation1 ! k t is 9 agreem5t ) ! fl[ ( ev5ts1 ) ! riv] ( life ) all its %>$ sorr[s1 ) all its %>$ joys1 surr5d]+ to ! fl[1 belong+ to ! unity4 ,vasudeva /ood up f :]e he _h be5 sitt+ on ! bank ( ! riv]1 he look$ 9 ,siddh>?a's eyes & saw ! gaiety ( wisdom %9+ !re1 he put 8 h& lightly 9 8 c>eful & g5tle way on ,siddh>?a's %\ld] & he said1 8,i h be5 wait+ = ?is mom5t1 my fri5d4 ,n[ t x has come let me take my leave ( y4 ,i h be5 wait+ long = ?is mom5t1 long h ,i be5 ,vasudeva ! f]ryman4 ,x is n[ en\gh4 ,f>ewell hut1 f>ewell riv]1 f>ewell ,siddh>?a60 ,siddh>?a b[$ deeply to ,vasudeva z he took 8 leave4 8,i knew x10 he said g5tly4 8,w y g into ! woods80 ,vasudeva's face %one1 & he said1 8,i w g into ! woods1 ,i w g into ! unity40 ,/ill beam+ he w5t on 8 way2 ,siddh>?a wat*$ him z he w5t4 ,) ! deepe/ joy1 ) ! deepe/ e>ne/ness1 he wat*$ him z he w5t1 saw 8 /eps full ( cont5tm5t1 saw 8 head z x %one1 saw 8 %ape full ( light4 ,,gov9da ,gov9da 0 sp5d+ a re/ p]iod ) o!r monks 9 ! pleasure g>d5 :i* ! c\rtesan1 ,kamala1 _h giv5 to ! foll[]s ( ,gotama4 ,he he>d !re ab\t an ag$ f]ryman :o liv$ by a riv] ab\t a day's j\rney away1 & :om _m reg>d$ z a wise man4 ,:5 ,gov9da resum$ 8 walk+ he *ose to take ! pa? to ! f]ry1 curi\s to see :o ?is f]ryman 04 ,all ?r\gh 8 life he _h liv$ accord+ to ! regim5 ( 8 ord]1 & ! y\ng] monks reg>d$ him ) v5]ation because ( 8 age & 8 mode/y1 b !re 0 /ill unre/ 9 8 he>t & a se>*+ :i* _h n be5 ext+ui%$4 ,he arriv$ at ! riv] & ask$ ! old man to take him across4 ,on ! o!r bank1 z !y /epp$ out ( ! boat1 he said to ! old man1 8,y h be5 v good to u monks & pilgrims1 & y h tak5 _m ( u across ! riv]4 ,c\ld x be t y too1 f]ryman1 are a seek] ( ! "r pa?80 ,siddh>?a %[$ a smile 9 8 ag+ eyes & said1 8,d y call y\rself a seek]1 v5]able sir1 :5 y are already advanc$ 9 ye>s & y we> ! robes ( a monk ( ,gotama80 8,yes1 ,i am old10 said ,gov9da1 8b ,i h nev] /opp$ se>*+4 ,i nev] w /op se>*+1 ?is seems to be my de/9y4 ,& x seems to me t y1 too1 h be5 seek+4 ,w\ld y l to say a ^w to me1 hon\r$ "o80 8,:at might ,i want to say to y1 v5]able sir80 ,siddh>?a ask$4 8,p]haps ,i %\ld ask y if y are n seek+ too h>d4 ,or ask if x is y\r seek+ t prev5ts y f f9d+40 8,h[ d y mean t80 ,gov9da ask$4 8,:5 someone is seek+10 said ,siddh>?a1 8x is v easy = 8 eye to see no?+ b ! ?+ s\ght1 t he is unable to f9d1 unable to receive into himself any?+ because he ?9ks only ( t :i* he seeks1 because he has an objective1 because he is obsess$ ) t objective4 ,seek+ means hav+ an objective1 b f9d+ means be+ free1 be+ receptive1 hav+ no objective4 ,x c\ld be1 v5]able sir1 t y are inde$ a seek]1 = 9 y\r ef=ts to rea* y\r objective y fail to see _m ?+s t are close be=e y\r eyes40 8,i /ill d n q und]/&10 ,gov9da ask$1 8h[ d y mean t80 ,siddh>?a said1 8,once be=e1 v5]able sir1 _m ye>s ago1 y 7 beside ?is riv]1 & y f\nd !re a man :o 0 sleep+1 & y sat d[n beside him to wat* ov] him z he slept4 ,b1 ,gov9da1 y did n recognise ?is sleep]40 ,a/oni%$ z if bewit*$1 ! monk look$ into ! f]ryman's eyes4 8,y are ,siddh>?a80 he ask$1 9 timid voice4 8,aga91 ,i fail$ to recognise y6 ,he>ty greet+s1 ,siddh>?a1 ,i am he>tily glad to see y aga96 ,y h *ang$ s mu*1 my fri5d - & n[1 y h become a f]ryman80 ,siddh>?a gave a fri5dly laugh4 8,yes1 ,gov9da1 a f]ryman4 ,!re are _m :o h to g ?r\gh _m *anges1 h to we> _m diff]5t clo!s1 & ,i am "o ( !m1 my fri5d4 ,welcome ,gov9da6 ,come & /ay ! night 9 my hut40 ,gov9da did /ay ! night 9 ! hut & he slept 9 ! place :i* _h =m]ly be5 ,vasudeva's b$4 ,he _h _m que/ions to put to 8 *ildhood fri5d1 ,siddh>?a _h to rec\nt _m episodes ( 8 life to him4 ,! foll[+ morn+ came & x 0 "t = ,gov9da to resume 8 w&]+4 ,gov9da said1 ) "s hesitation1 8,be=e ,i cont9ue my j\rney1 ,siddh>?a1 let me ask y "o m ?+4 ,d y h a doctr9e8 ,d y h a belief or a k t y foll[ & :i* helps y ?r\gh life & to d ! "r ?+80 ,siddh>?a said1 8,my fri5d1 y "k t :5 ,i 0 a "y man1 liv+ ) y & ! o!r p5it5ts 9 ! woods1 t ,i _h already begun to mi/ru/ doctr9es & _! tea*]s1 & s ,i turn$ my back on !m4 ,i h n *ang$ my view4 ,i h none!less _h _m tea*]s s9ce t "t4 ,!re 0 a beautiful c\rtesan :o 0 my tea*] = a long "t1 & a ri* bus9essman 0 my tea*]1 z well z sev]al gambl]s4 ,"o "t !re 0 ev5 a w&]+ disciple ( ! ,buddha :o 0 my tea*]2 he 0 on pilgrimage b he sat beside me :ile ,i 0 asleep 9 ! woods4 ,i le>n$ f him too1 & ,i am grateful to him too1 v grateful4 ,b mo/ ( all1 ,i h le>n$ f ! riv] "h1 & f my pr$ecessor1 ,vasudeva ! f]ryman4 ,he 0 a v simple man1 ,vasudeva1 he 0 n a ?9k] b he knew ! important ?+s z well z ,gotama1 he 0 a p]fect man1 he 0 a holy man40 8,i ?9k y're mock+ me aga91 ,siddh>?a10 said ,gov9da4 8,i believe y & ,i bo? "k t y h nev] foll[$ any tea*]4 ,b ev5 if y h nev] foll[$ a tea*] h y n _h c]ta9 ?\ghts1 f\nd c]ta9 k9ds ( k y\rself1 k :i* is y\r own & :i* h help$ y ?r\gh life8 ,if y w\ld l to tell me some?+ ( ?is x w\ld br+ joy to my he>t40 8,yes10 said ,siddh>?a1 8!re are "s ?+s t ,i h ?\ght f "t to "t1 & "s ?+s t ,i h se54 ,!re h be5 times :51 = "o h\r or = "o day1 ,i h felt !re is k )9 me1 j z x is possible to feel life 9 "o's he>t4 ,i h _h _m su* ?\ghts1 b ,i w\ld f9d x v h>d to tell y ab\t !m4 ,gov9da1 li/51 "h is "o ( ! ?\ghts t ,i h f\nd3 wisdom _c be taught4 ,if a wise man tries to tea* wisdom x w always s\nd l folly40 8,are y jok+ n[80 ,gov9da ask$4 8,i am n jok+4 ,i am say+ :at ,i h f\nd4 ,k c be taught1 b n wisdom4 ,x c be f\nd1 x c be liv$1 x c be :at c>ries y1 x c "w wond]s1 b x _c be spok5 & x _c be taught4 ,?is is :at ,i _h already begun to suspect :5 ,i 0 "y1 ?is is :at drove me away f ! tea*]s4 ,i h f\nd a ?\ght1 ,gov9da1 a ?\ght t y w aga9 suppose is folly or a joke1 b x is ! be/ ?\ght ,i h4 ,x reads3 ,= e tru?1 ! opposite is equally true6 ,?is means t a tru? t is "o-sid$ c only ev] be spok51 x is encas$ 9 words4 ,all t is ?\ght ) ?\ghts & c be spok5 9 words w be "o-sid$1 all w be half1 all w be lack+ 9 :ol5ess1 9 r\ndness1 9 unity4 ,:5 ! noble ,gotama spoke ( ! _w 9 8 tea*+s he _h to divide x into sans>a & nirvana1 into delusion & tru?1 into suff]+ & lib]ation4 ,he :o wi%es to be a tea*] has no *oice 9 ! matt]1 !re is no o!r pa? = him to foll[4 ,! _w itself1 ?\gh1 t :i* exi/s ar\nd u & )9 u1 is nev] "o sid$4 ,x is nev] a p]son1 nev] an act1 nev] ! :ole ( sans>a & nev] ! :ole ( nirvana1 & a p]son is nev] entirely holy & nev] entirely s9ful4 ,x does seem s because we are subject$ to delusion & believe t "t is some?+ real4 ,"t is n real1 ,gov9da1 t is some?+ ,i h exp]i5c$ _m times4 ,& if "t is n real !n ! gap t seems to lie betwe5 ! _w & et]nity1 betwe5 suff]+ & be+ bless$1 betwe5 evil & good1 is also j delusion40 8,h[ d y mean t80 ask$ ,gov9da1 ) "s anxiety4 8,li/51 my fri5d1 li/5 well4 ,! s9n]1 su* z me1 su* z y1 is a s9n]1 b he w "o day become once m ,brahma1 he w "o day a*ieve nirvana1 w become a buddha - b n[ ?9k ( ?is3 ?is #8"o day' is delusion1 x is only a comp>ison6 ,! s9n] is n on 8 way to becom+ a buddha1 he is n engross$ 9 any k9d ( developm5t1 ev5 ?\gh x is n possible = our ?\ght to imag9e ^! ?+s 9 any o!r way4 ,no1 ! prospective buddha is already )9 ! s9n]1 n[ & today1 8 future is all already !re1 )9 him1 )9 y1 )9 ev]yone is t :i* w be1 t :i* is possible1 t :i* is ! hidd5 buddha to be hon\r$4 ,! _w1 ,gov9da my fri5d1 is n imp]fect1 nor is x trapp$ on a we>y road to p]fection3 no1 x has p]fection 9 e glance ( ! eye1 e s9 conta9s m]cy )9 x1 e little *ild has ! old man )9 x1 e suckl+ has dea? )9 x1 e dy+ man has et]nal life )9 him4 ,no man is able to see h[ f> he has progress$ along 8 pa? by look+ at o!rs1 )9 ! ?ief & )9 ! gambl] ! buddha is wait+1 )9 ! brahm9 ! ?ief is wait+4 ,9 deep m$itation x is possible to remove "t & to see all t has be51 all t is & all t w be 9 "o mom5t1 & 9 t mom5t all is good1 all is p]fect1 all is ,brahman4 ,t is :y x appe>s to me t all t is good1 dea? appe>s to me z ! same z life1 s9 appe>s to me ! same z hol9ess1 wisdom appe>s to me ! same z folly1 ev]y?+ has to be ?us1 no?+ ne$s any?+ m ?an my agreem5t1 m ?an my w1 my lov+ involvem5t1 & s1 = me1 x is good1 x c only advance me & c nev] h>m me4 ,i h le>n$ ?r\gh exp]i5ce t ,i ne$$ to s91 body & s\l1 ,i ne$$ lu/1 ,i /rove = m possessions1 ,i 0 va91 & ,i ne$$ only ! slighte/ d\bt to tea* me to give up /ruggl+ aga9/ ^! ?+s1 to le>n to love ! _w1 to /op comp>+ x ) any k9d ( imag9>y _w ,i might h wi%$ = or any k9d ( p]fection ,i might h inv5t$1 ,i le>n$ to leave ! _w z x is & to love x & to enjoy be+ a "p ( x4 ,^!1 ,gov9da1 are "s ( ! ?\ghts t h come into my m9d40 ,siddh>?a rea*$ d[n & pick$ up a /one f ! gr\nd1 !n he weigh$ x 9 8 h&4 8,?is10 he said playfully1 8is a /one1 & aft] a c]ta9 "t x might become soil1 & !n ! soil might become a plant or an animal or a p]son4 ,b e>li] ,i w\ld h said3 ?is /one is j a /one1 x is wor?less1 x belongs to ! _w ( maya2 b ?r\gh ! circle ( metamorphoses x might become a p]son or a _s1 & t is :y ,i attribute value to x4 ,t is :at ,i might h ?\ght e>li]4 ,b n[ ,i ?9k3 ?is /one is a /one1 x is also an animal1 x is also a god1 x is also a buddha1 ,i d n v5]ate x1 ,i d n love x because x might "o day become ?is or t b because x has always be5 ev]y?+ & always w be - & t is exactly :y ,i love x1 = be+ a /one1 because x appe>s to me z a /one & always w d1 t is :y ,i see value & mean+ 9 ea* ( its ve9s & ea* ( its holl[s1 9 ! yell[1 9 ! grey1 9 its h>dness1 9 ! s\nd x makes :5 ,i tap x1 9 ! dryness or ! wetness ( its surface4 ,!re are "s /ones t feel l oil or soap1 o!rs feel l leaves1 o!rs l s&1 & ea* ( !m is unique & ea* ( !m prays to ,om 9 its own way1 ea* ( !m is ,brahman b at ! same "t ea* ( !m is a /one1 all ! m is x a /one1 x is oily or juicy1 & t is :at appeals to me1 t is :at seems s wond]ful to me & s wor?y ( wor%ip4 ,b d n let cont9ue talk+ ab\t ?is4 ,words are n good = ! invisible _s1 x always in/antly becomes a little diff]5t :5 spok5 ab\t1 a little false1 a little fooli% - & ev5 t is some?+ v good & some?+ ,i l v mu*1 some?+ ,i fully cons5t to1 t :i* "o man sees z valuable wisdom w always seem to ano!r to be folly40 ,gov9da li/5$ 9 sil5ce4 ,aft] a pause he ask$1 hesitantly1 8,:y did y tell me all t ab\t ! /one80 8,x j happ5$4 ,i did n plan x4 ,or p]haps ,i meant to say t ,i love ?is /one1 & ! riv]1 & all ^! ?+s we ?9k ab\t & f :i* we c le>n4 ,i am capable ( lov+ a /one1 ,gov9da1 & also a tree or a piece ( b>k4 ,^? are ?+s1 & x is possible to love ?+s4 ,b x is n possible to love words4 ,t is :y tea*+s are n = me1 !y h no h>dness1 no s(tness1 no col\rs1 no edges1 no smell1 no ta/e1 !y h no?+ b words4 ,maybe t is :at is prev5t+ y f f9d+ peace1 maybe x is all ^? words4 ,z ev5 r$emption & virtue1 ev5 sans>a & nirvana are no?+ b words1 ,gov9da4 ,!re is no?+ = nirvana to be2 !re is only ! ^w1 #8nirvana'40 ,gov9da said1 8,nirvana is n m]ely a ^w1 my fri5d4 ,x is a ?\ght40 ,siddh>?a cont9u$1 8,a ?\ght1 maybe x is4 ,i h to admit1 my fri5d1 ,i d n make any great di/9ction betwe5 ?\ghts & words4 ,to put x simply1 ,i d n h mu* respect = ?\ghts4 ,i h m respect = ?+s4 ,!re 0 a man "h on ?is f]ryboat1 = example1 :o 0 my pr$ecessor & my tea*]1 a holy man :o1 = _m ye>s1 believ$ simply 9 ! riv]1 & no?+ else4 ,he _h notic$ t ! riv]'s voice spoke to him & he le>n$ f x1 x br\ght him up1 x help$ him to develop1 x taught him4 ,! riv] seem$ to him l a god1 = _m ye>s he did n "k t e w9d1 e cl\d1 e bird1 e beetle is j z god-l z ! riv] he v5]at$ s mu*1 & knew j z mu*1 & _h j z mu* to tea* him4 ,by ! "t ?is holy man w5t (f into ! woods he knew ev]y?+1 he knew m ?an y & ,i1 )\t a tea*]1 )\t books1 & only because he believ$ 9 ! riv]40 ,gov9da said1 8,& is t :at y mean by #8?+s1' some?+ real1 some?+ t exi/s8 ,is t n j ! delusion ( maya1 j a picture1 j an appe>ance8 ,?is /one ( y\rs1 ?is tree1 ?is riv]1 are !y !n reality80 8,ev5 ?is "q10 said ,siddh>?a1 8no long] gives me mu* bo!r4 ,p]haps ^! ?+s are delusory & p]haps !y are n1 b !n ,i too am an illusion & s !y cont9ue to be ! same z me4 ,t is :at makes !m s de> & s v5]able = me3 !y are ! same z me4 ,t is :y ,i c love !m4 ,& n[1 "h is a tea*+ t w make y laugh3 x seems to me1 ,gov9da1 t love is ! mo/ important ?+ ( all4 ,p]haps see+ ?r\gh ! _w1 expla9+ ! _w1 despis+ ! _w1 is an important matt] = ! great ?9k]s1 b only "o ?+ is important = me1 ! ability to love ! _w1 n to despise x1 n to hate x or myself1 b ! ability to see x & myself & all t exi/s ) love & admiration & hon\r40 8,i c und]/& t10 said ,gov9da4 8,b ?is1 too1 is some?+ t ! noble "o has recognis$ z delusion4 ,he in/ructs u to %[ b5evol5ce1 m]cy1 compassion1 pati5ce1 b n love2 he has =bidd5 u to te!r our he>ts to ! _w ) love40 8,i "k x well10 said ,siddh>?a1 & 8 face %one ) smile ( gold4 8,i "k x well1 ,gov9da4 ,b n[ look2 we f9d ourselves n[ 9 ! middle ( a ?icket ( mean+s1 we're quibbl+ ab\t words4 ,i _c d5y t my words ab\t love contradict - or seem to contradict - ! words ( ,gotama4 ,& t is ! v reason ,i mi/ru/ words s mu*1 ,i "k t ?is contradiction is delusory4 ,i "k t ,i agree ) ,gotama4 ,= h[ c\ld x be t he knew no?+ ( love1 ev5 he :o ackn[l$g$ ! transitor9ess ( all human exi/5ce1 ackn[l$g$ x 9 all its no?+ness1 b none!less lov$ mank9d s mu* t he devot$ 8 long & /r5u\s life to "o ?+1 to help !m & to tea* !m6 ,& ev5 ! ?+s ab\t him1 ab\t y\r great tea*] are m important = me ?an 8 words1 8 actions & 8 life are m important ?an :at he said1 ! movem5ts ( 8 h& are m important ?an 8 beliefs4 ,i don't see 8 greatness 9 :at he said or :at he ?\ght1 ,i see x only 9 8 actions1 9 8 life40 ,= a long :ile ! two old m5 rema9$ sil5t4 ,!n ,gov9da began to take 8 leave ( ,siddh>?a1 say+1 8,?ank y = %[+ me some?+ ( y\r ?\ghts1 ,siddh>?a4 ,"s ( !m are odd1 & ,i am n able to und]/& !m all /raight away4 ,be t z x may1 ,i give y my ?anks & wi% y peaceful days40 7,privately1 ?\gh1 ,gov9da ?\ght to himself1 8,?is ,siddh>?a is a wond]ful man1 ^! are wond]ful ?\ghts he expresses1 8 tea*+ s\nds fooli%4 ,! pure tea*+s ( ! noble "o are diff]5t1 !y are cle>]1 pur]1 easi] to und]/&1 & conta9 no?+ odd or fooli% or ridicul\s4 ,b ,siddh>?a's h&s & feet seem diff]5t f 8 ?\ghts4 ,8 eyes1 8 br[1 8 brea?1 8 smile1 8 greet+1 8 walk1 !y all seem diff]5t4 ,s9ce our noble "o1 ,gotama1 w5t into ,nirvana ,i h nev] met any "o ab\t :om ,i h felt1 #8,?is is a holy man4' ,he alone1 ?is ,siddh>?a1 is ! only "o ,i h f\nd4 ,8 tea*+s may s\nd odd1 8 words may s\nd fooli%1 b 8 look & 8 h&s1 8 sk9 & 8 hair1 ev]y?+ ab\t him is radiant ) purity1 radiant ) peace1 radiant ) gaiety & g5tl5ess & hol9ess4 ,n s9ce ! rec5t dea? ( our noble tea*] h ,i se5 ?is on anyone407 ,z ,gov9da 0 ?9k+ ^! ?+s1 ?+s :i* 8 he>t /rongly resi/$1 he b[$ to ,siddh>?a once aga91 drawn by love4 ,he b[$ deeply z ,siddh>?a sat peacefully4 8,siddh>?a10 he said1 8we h gr[n into old m54 ,x seems h>dly likely t ei!r ( u w see ! o!r 9 8 pres5t =m ev] aga94 ,i see1 my de> fri5d1 t y h f\nd peace4 ,i admit t ,i h n4 ,give me ano!r ^w1 v5]at$ "o1 give me some?+ t ,i c grasp1 some?+ ,i c und]/&6 ,give me some?+ to take z ,i g on my way4 ,my way is (t5 difficult1 (t5 d>k1 ,siddh>?a40 ,siddh>?a rema9$ sil5t & cont9u$ to look at him ) ! same quiet smile4 ,gov9da />$ into 8 face1 ) anxiety1 ) ye>n+4 ,sorr[ & a nev] end+ se>* c\ld be read 9 8 expression1 a nev] end+ se>* )\t f9d+4 ,siddh>?a saw x1 & gr9n$4 8,b[ d[n to me60 he :isp]$ g5tly into ,gov9da's e>4 8,b[ d[n to me "h6 ,yes1 clos]6 ,v close6 ,kiss me on ! =ehead1 ,gov9da60 ,gov9da 0 puzzl$ b1 drawn by ! great love & tru/ he _h = 8 fri5d1 did z he 0 told1 he b[$ d[n close to him & t\*$ 8 =ehead ) 8 lips1 & some?+ wond]ful happ5$ to him4 ,8 ?\ghts rema9$ ) ! wond]ful words t ,siddh>?a _h spok51 he /rove 9 va9 to remove "t f 8 ?\ghts & to see nirvana & sans>a z "o1 he felt ev5 a c]ta9 disda9 = 8 fri5d's words :i* compet$ ) ! enorm\s love & v5]ation he felt = him1 & :ile all ?is 0 go+ on ?is is :at happ5$ to him3 ,he c\ld no long] see 8 fri5d's face1 in/ead he saw o!r faces1 _m o!r faces1 a long sequ5ce ( !m1 a fl[+ riv] ( faces1 hundr$s ( !m1 ?\s&s ( !m1 all ( !m came & w5t yet all ( !m seem$ to be !re at ! same "t1 all ( !m 7 9 cont9u\s *ange yet all ( !m 7 ,siddh>?a4 ,he saw ! face ( a fi%1 a c>p ) its m\? p]man5tly gap+ 9 pa91 a fi% t 0 dy+ z its eyes broke op51 he saw ! face ( a new-born *ild1 wr9kly1 r$ & contort$ 9 its te>s1 he saw ! face ( a murd]]1 saw him z he ?ru/ ! knife into 8 victim's body - he saw1 at ! same mom5t1 ?is crim9al z he knelt 9 *a9s & h[ ! execution] /ruck (f 8 head ) a bl[ ( 8 sword - he saw ! bodies ( m5 & wom5 nak$ & /ruggl+ 9 positions ( f]v5t love - he saw corpses /ret*$ out1 /ill1 cold1 empty - he saw ! heads ( animals1 ( pigs1 ( crocodiles1 ( elephants1 ( bulls1 ( birds - he saw gods1 he saw ,krsna1 he saw ,agni - he saw all ^! =ms & all ^! faces connect$ ) ea* o!r 9 a ?\s& places1 help+ ea* o!r1 lov+ ea* o!r1 hat+ ea* o!r1 de/roy+ ea* o!r1 giv+ bir? to !m anew1 ea* ( !m 0 a dea? wi%1 a passionate tortur\s ackn[l$gem5t ( ! pa/1 b none ( !m did die b only trans=m$ itself1 und]w5t cont9ual rebir?s1 ea* "t receiv+ a new face al?\gh no "t pass$ betwe5 "o face & ! next - & all ^! =ms & all ^! faces re/$1 fl[$1 appe>$1 swam "o way & fl[$ 9 betwe5 ea* o!r & above all ( ?is !re 0 always some?+ ?91 some?+ t _h no ess5ce b none!less exi/$1 l a ?9 piece ( glass or ice1 l a transp>5t sk91 a %ell or a %ape or a mask ( wat]1 & ?is mask 0 smil+1 & ?is mask 0 ,siddh>?a's smil+ face :i* he1 ,gov9da1 0 at t v mom5t t\*+ ) 8 lips4 ,& s x 0 t ,gov9da saw ! smile on ! mask1 ! smile ( unity ov] & above ! =ms z !y ru%$ pa/1 ! smile ( simultaneity ov] ! ?\s& bir?s & dea?s1 ?is smile ( ,siddh>?a's 0 exactly ! same1 0 exactly id5tical1 calm1 f9e1 imp5etrable1 p]haps b5evol5t1 p]haps mock+1 wise1 ! ?\s&-fold smile ( ,gotama1 ! buddha1 ! smile he _h se5 & v5]at$ a hundr$ times himself4 ,gov9da knew t ?is 0 h[ ! p]fect ones smil$4 ,he no long] knew :e!r "t exi/$1 he no long] knew :e!r ?is vision _h la/$ "o second or a hundr$ ye>s1 he no long] knew :e!r a ,siddh>?a or a ,gotama or an ,i & y exi/$4 ,x 0 z if 8 deepe/ "p _h be5 /ruck ) an arr[ f ! div9e1 caus+ a w\nd t ta/$ s sweet1 8 inn]mo/ "p 0 en*ant$1 0 dissolv$4 ,gov9da cont9u$ to /& !re b5t ov] ,siddh>?a's quiet face1 ! face he _h j kiss$1 ! face t _h j be5 ! !atre = all =ms1 all becom+1 all exi/5ce4 ,t face1 t "u its surface _h %[n ! dep?s ( ! ?\s&s1 rema9$ un*ang$1 x bore a peaceful smile1 a smile t 0 g5tle & t5d]1 p]haps v b5evol5t1 p]haps v mock+1 j l ! smile on ! face ( ! noble "o4 ,gov9da b[$ deeply1 te>s t he 0 unaw>e ( ran f 8 eyes & ov] 8 ag$ face1 ! s5se ( deepe/ love burnt 9 him l a fire1 ! humble/ v5]ation burnt 9 8 he>t4 ,he b[$ deeply1 t\*+ ! gr\nd 9 front ( ,siddh>?a :o sat motionless1 ^: smile rem9d$ him ( ev]y?+ 9 8 life he _h ev] lov$1 ( ev]y?+ 9 8 life t _h be5 wor?:ile to him1 & holy4 ---------------------------------------- ---------------------------------- ,creative ,commons ,attribution-,non,commercial-,no,derivat ives #d4j ,int]national ,public ,lic5se ,by ex]cis+ ! ,lic5s$ ,rights 7def9$ bel[71 ,y accept & agree to be b\nd by ! t]ms & conditions ( ?is ,creative ,commons ,attribution-,non,commercial-,no,derivat ives #d4j ,int]national ,public ,lic5se 7,public ,lic5se74 ,to ! ext5t ?is ,public ,lic5se may be int]pret$ z a contract1 ,y are grant$ ! ,lic5s$ ,rights 9 consid]ation ( ,y\r acceptance ( ^! t]ms & conditions1 & ! ,lic5sor grants ,y su* rights 9 consid]ation ( b5efits ! ,lic5sor receives f mak+ ! ,lic5s$ ,mat]ial available "u ^! t]ms & conditions4 ,section #a - ,def9itions4 a4 ,adapt$ ,mat]ial means mat]ial subject to ,copyright & ,simil> ,rights t is d]iv$ f or bas$ ^u ! ,lic5s$ ,mat]ial & 9 :i* ! ,lic5s$ ,mat]ial is translat$1 alt]$1 arrang$1 trans=m$1 or o!rwise modifi$ 9 a mann] requir+ p]mission "u ! ,copyright & ,simil> ,rights held by ! ,lic5sor4 ,= purposes ( ?is ,public ,lic5se1 :]e ! ,lic5s$ ,mat]ial is a musical "w1 p]=mance1 or s\nd record+1 ,adapt$ ,mat]ial is always produc$ :]e ! ,lic5s$ ,mat]ial is syn*$ 9 tim$ relation ) a mov+ image4 b4 ,copyright & ,simil> ,rights means copyright &_/or simil> rights closely relat$ to copyright includ+1 )\t limitation1 p]=mance1 broadca/1 s\nd record+1 & ,sui ,g5]is ,database ,rights1 )\t reg>d to h[ ! rights are label$ or categoriz$4 ,= purposes ( ?is ,public ,lic5se1 ! rights specifi$ 9 ,section #b7;b77#a7-7b7 are n ,copyright & ,simil> ,rights4 c4 ,effective ,te*nological ,measures means ^? measures t1 9 ! abs5ce ( prop] au?ority1 may n be circumv5t$ "u laws fulfill+ obligations "u ,article #aa ( ! ,,wipo ,copyright ,treaty adopt$ on ,decemb] #bj1 #aiif1 &_/or simil> int]national agreem5ts4 d4 ,exceptions & ,limitations means fair use1 fair deal+1 &_/or any o!r exception or limitation to ,copyright & ,simil> ,rights t applies to ,y\r use ( ! ,lic5s$ ,mat]ial4 e4 ,lic5s$ ,mat]ial means ! arti/ic or lit]>y "w1 database1 or o!r mat]ial to :i* ! ,lic5sor appli$ ?is ,public ,lic5se4 f4 ,lic5s$ ,rights means ! rights grant$ to ,y subject to ! t]ms & conditions ( ?is ,public ,lic5se1 :i* are limit$ to all ,copyright & ,simil> ,rights t apply to ,y\r use ( ! ,lic5s$ ,mat]ial & t ! ,lic5sor has au?ority to lic5se4 g4 ,lic5sor means ! individual7s7 or entity7ies7 grant+ rights "u ?is ,public ,lic5se4 h4 ,non,commercial means n prim>ily int5d$ = or direct$ t[>ds comm]cial advantage or monet>y comp5sation4 ,= purposes ( ?is ,public ,lic5se1 ! ex*ange ( ! ,lic5s$ ,mat]ial = o!r mat]ial subject to ,copyright & ,simil> ,rights by digital file-%>+ or simil> means is ,non,commercial provid$ !re is no paym5t ( monet>y comp5sation 9 connection ) ! ex*ange4 i4 ,%>e means to provide mat]ial to ! public by any means or process t requires p]mission "u ! ,lic5s$ ,rights1 su* z reproduction1 public display1 public p]=mance1 di/ribution1 dissem9ation1 communication1 or importation1 & to make mat]ial available to ! public includ+ 9 ways t memb]s ( ! public may access ! mat]ial f a place & at a "t individually *os5 by !m4 j4 ,sui ,g5]is ,database ,rights means rights o!r ?an copyright result+ f ,directive #if_/i_/;,,ec ( ! ,european ,p>liam5t & ( ! ,c\ncil ( #aa ,m>* #aiif on ! legal protection ( databases1 z am5d$ &_/or succe$$1 z well z o!r ess5tially equival5t rights any:]e 9 ! _w4 k4 ,y means ! individual or entity ex]cis+ ! ,lic5s$ ,rights "u ?is ,public ,lic5se4 ,y\r has a correspond+ mean+4 ,section #b - ,scope4 a4 ,lic5se grant4 #a4 ,subject to ! t]ms & conditions ( ?is ,public ,lic5se1 ! ,lic5sor h]eby grants ,y a worldwide1 royalty-free1 non-sublic5sable1 non-exclusive1 irrevocable lic5se to ex]cise ! ,lic5s$ ,rights 9 ! ,lic5s$ ,mat]ial to3 ,a4 reproduce & ,%>e ! ,lic5s$ ,mat]ial1 9 :ole or 9 "p1 = ,non,commercial purposes only2 & ,b4 produce & reproduce1 b n ,%>e1 ,adapt$ ,mat]ial = ,non,commercial purposes only4 #b4 ,exceptions & ,limitations4 ,= ! avoidance ( d\bt1 :]e ,exceptions & ,limitations apply to ,y\r use1 ?is ,public ,lic5se does n apply1 & ,y d n ne$ to comply ) its t]ms & conditions4 #c4 ,t]m4 ,! t]m ( ?is ,public ,lic5se is specifi$ 9 ,section #f7;a74 #d4 ,m$ia & =mats2 te*nical modifications all[$4 ,! ,lic5sor au?orizes ,y to ex]cise ! ,lic5s$ ,rights 9 all m$ia & =mats :e!r n[ kn[n or h]eaft] creat$1 & to make te*nical modifications necess>y to d s4 ,! ,lic5sor waives &_/or agrees n to ass]t any "r or au?ority to =bid ,y f mak+ te*nical modifications necess>y to ex]cise ! ,lic5s$ ,rights1 includ+ te*nical modifications necess>y to circumv5t ,effective ,te*nological ,measures4 ,= purposes ( ?is ,public ,lic5se1 simply mak+ modifications au?oriz$ by ?is ,section #b7;a77#d7 nev] produces ,adapt$ ,mat]ial4 #e4 ,d[n/ream recipi5ts4 ,a4 ,(f] f ! ,lic5sor - ,lic5s$ ,mat]ial4 ,e recipi5t ( ! ,lic5s$ ,mat]ial automatically receives an (f] f ! ,lic5sor to ex]cise ! ,lic5s$ ,rights "u ! t]ms & conditions ( ?is ,public ,lic5se4 ,b4 ,no d[n/ream re/rictions4 ,y may n (f] or impose any additional or diff]5t t]ms or conditions on1 or apply any ,effective ,te*nological ,measures to1 ! ,lic5s$ ,mat]ial if do+ s re/ricts ex]cise ( ! ,lic5s$ ,rights by any recipi5t ( ! ,lic5s$ ,mat]ial4 #f4 ,no endorsem5t4 ,no?+ 9 ?is ,public ,lic5se con/itutes or may be con/ru$ z p]mission to ass]t or imply t ,y are1 or t ,y\r use ( ! ,lic5s$ ,mat]ial is1 connect$ )1 or sponsor$1 endors$1 or grant$ (ficial /atus by1 ! ,lic5sor or o!rs designat$ to receive attribution z provid$ 9 ,section #c7;a77#a77;,a77i74 b4 ,o!r rights4 #a4 ,moral rights1 su* z ! "r ( integrity1 are n lic5s$ "u ?is ,public ,lic5se1 nor are publicity1 privacy1 &_/or o!r simil> p]sonality rights2 h[ev]1 to ! ext5t possible1 ! ,lic5sor waives &_/or agrees n to ass]t any su* rights held by ! ,lic5sor to ! limit$ ext5t necess>y to all[ ,y to ex]cise ! ,lic5s$ ,rights1 b n o!rwise4 #b4 ,pat5t & tradem>k rights are n lic5s$ "u ?is ,public ,lic5se4 #c4 ,to ! ext5t possible1 ! ,lic5sor waives any "r to collect royalties f ,y = ! ex]cise ( ! ,lic5s$ ,rights1 :e!r directly or ?r\gh a collect+ society "u any volunt>y or waivable /atutory or compulsory lic5s+ s*eme4 ,9 all o!r cases ! ,lic5sor expressly res]ves any "r to collect su* royalties1 includ+ :5 ! ,lic5s$ ,mat]ial is us$ o!r ?an = ,non,commercial purposes4 ,section #c - ,lic5se ,conditions4 ,y\r ex]cise ( ! ,lic5s$ ,rights is expressly made subject to ! foll[+ conditions4 a4 ,attribution4 #a4 ,if ,y ,%>e ! ,lic5s$ ,mat]ial1 ,y mu/3 ,a4 reta9 ! foll[+ if x is suppli$ by ! ,lic5sor ) ! ,lic5s$ ,mat]ial3 i4 id5tification ( ! creator7s7 ( ! ,lic5s$ ,mat]ial & any o!rs designat$ to receive attribution1 9 any reasonable mann] reque/$ by ! ,lic5sor 7includ+ by pseudonym if designat$72 ii4 a copyright notice2 iii4 a notice t ref]s to ?is ,public ,lic5se2 iv4 a notice t ref]s to ! disclaim] ( w>ranties2 v4 a ,,uri or hyp]l9k to ! ,lic5s$ ,mat]ial to ! ext5t reasonably practicable2 ,b4 indicate if ,y modifi$ ! ,lic5s$ ,mat]ial & reta9 an indication ( any previ\s modifications2 & ,c4 indicate ! ,lic5s$ ,mat]ial is lic5s$ "u ?is ,public ,lic5se1 & include ! text (1 or ! ,,uri or hyp]l9k to1 ?is ,public ,lic5se4 ,= ! avoidance ( d\bt1 ,y d n h p]mission "u ?is ,public ,lic5se to ,%>e ,adapt$ ,mat]ial4 #b4 ,y may satisfy ! conditions 9 ,section #c7;a77#a7 9 any reasonable mann] bas$ on ! m$ium1 means1 & context 9 :i* ,y ,%>e ! ,lic5s$ ,mat]ial4 ,= example1 x may be reasonable to satisfy ! conditions by provid+ a ,,uri or hyp]l9k to a res\rce t includes ! requir$ in=mation4 #c4 ,if reque/$ by ! ,lic5sor1 ,y mu/ remove any ( ! in=mation requir$ by ,section #c7;a77#a77;,a7 to ! ext5t reasonably practicable4 ,section #d - ,sui ,g5]is ,database ,rights4 ,:]e ! ,lic5s$ ,rights include ,sui ,g5]is ,database ,rights t apply to ,y\r use ( ! ,lic5s$ ,mat]ial3 a4 = ! avoidance ( d\bt1 ,section #b7;a77#a7 grants ,y ! "r to extract1 reuse1 reproduce1 & ,%>e all or a sub/antial portion ( ! cont5ts ( ! database = ,non,commercial purposes only & provid$ ,y d n ,%>e ,adapt$ ,mat]ial2 b4 if ,y include all or a sub/antial portion ( ! database cont5ts 9 a database 9 :i* ,y h ,sui ,g5]is ,database ,rights1 !n ! database 9 :i* ,y h ,sui ,g5]is ,database ,rights 7b n its individual cont5ts7 is ,adapt$ ,mat]ial2 & c4 ,y mu/ comply ) ! conditions 9 ,section #c7;a7 if ,y ,%>e all or a sub/antial portion ( ! cont5ts ( ! database4 ,= ! avoidance ( d\bt1 ?is ,section #d supplem5ts & does n replace ,y\r obligations "u ?is ,public ,lic5se :]e ! ,lic5s$ ,rights include o!r ,copyright & ,simil> ,rights4 ,section #e - ,disclaim] ( ,w>ranties & ,limitation ( ,liability4 a4 ,unless o!rwise sep>ately und]tak5 by ! ,lic5sor1 to ! ext5t possible1 ! ,lic5sor (f]s ! ,lic5s$ ,mat]ial z-is & z-available1 & makes no repres5tations or w>ranties ( any k9d conc]n+ ! ,lic5s$ ,mat]ial1 :e!r express1 impli$1 /atutory1 or o!r4 ,?is includes1 )\t limitation1 w>ranties ( title1 m]*antability1 fitness = a p>ticul> purpose1 non-infr+em5t1 abs5ce ( lat5t or o!r defects1 accuracy1 or ! pres5ce or abs5ce ( errors1 :e!r or n kn[n or discov]able4 ,:]e disclaim]s ( w>ranties are n all[$ 9 full or 9 "p1 ?is disclaim] may n apply to ,y4 b4 ,to ! ext5t possible1 9 no ev5t w ! ,lic5sor be liable to ,y on any legal !ory 7includ+1 )\t limitation1 neglig5ce7 or o!rwise = any direct1 special1 indirect1 incid5tal1 consequ5tial1 punitive1 exempl>y1 or o!r losses1 co/s1 exp5ses1 or damages aris+ out ( ?is ,public ,lic5se or use ( ! ,lic5s$ ,mat]ial1 ev5 if ! ,lic5sor has be5 advis$ ( ! possibility ( su* losses1 co/s1 exp5ses1 or damages4 ,:]e a limitation ( liability is n all[$ 9 full or 9 "p1 ?is limitation may n apply to ,y4 c4 ,! disclaim] ( w>ranties & limitation ( liability provid$ above %all be int]pret$ 9 a mann] t1 to ! ext5t possible1 mo/ closely approximates an absolute disclaim] & waiv] ( all liability4 ,section #f - ,t]m & ,t]m9ation4 a4 ,?is ,public ,lic5se applies = ! t]m ( ! ,copyright & ,simil> ,rights lic5s$ "h4 ,h[ev]1 if ,y fail to comply ) ?is ,public ,lic5se1 !n ,y\r rights "u ?is ,public ,lic5se t]m9ate automatically4 b4 ,:]e ,y\r "r to use ! ,lic5s$ ,mat]ial has t]m9at$ "u ,section #f7;a71 x re9/ates3 #a4 automatically z ( ! date ! violation is cur$1 provid$ x is cur$ )9 #cj days ( ,y\r discov]y ( ! violation2 or #b4 ^u express re9/atem5t by ! ,lic5sor4 ,= ! avoidance ( d\bt1 ?is ,section #f7;b7 does n affect any "r ! ,lic5sor may h to seek rem$ies = ,y\r violations ( ?is ,public ,lic5se4 c4 ,= ! avoidance ( d\bt1 ! ,lic5sor may also (f] ! ,lic5s$ ,mat]ial "u sep>ate t]ms or conditions or /op di/ribut+ ! ,lic5s$ ,mat]ial at any "t2 h[ev]1 do+ s w n t]m9ate ?is ,public ,lic5se4 d4 ,sections #a1 #e1 #f1 #g1 & #h survive t]m9ation ( ?is ,public ,lic5se4 ,section #g - ,o!r ,t]ms & ,conditions4 a4 ,! ,lic5sor %all n be b\nd by any additional or diff]5t t]ms or conditions communicat$ by ,y unless expressly agre$4 b4 ,any arrangem5ts1 und]/&+s1 or agreem5ts reg>d+ ! ,lic5s$ ,mat]ial n /at$ h]e9 are sep>ate f & indep5d5t ( ! t]ms & conditions ( ?is ,public ,lic5se4 ,section #h - ,int]pretation4 a4 ,= ! avoidance ( d\bt1 ?is ,public ,lic5se does n1 & %all n be int]pret$ to1 r$uce1 limit1 re/rict1 or impose conditions on any use ( ! ,lic5s$ ,mat]ial t c\ld lawfully be made )\t p]mission "u ?is ,public ,lic5se4 b4 ,to ! ext5t possible1 if any provision ( ?is ,public ,lic5se is deem$ un5=ceable1 x %all be automatically re=m$ to ! m9imum ext5t necess>y to make x en=ceable4 ,if ! provision _c be re=m$1 x %all be sev]$ f ?is ,public ,lic5se )\t affect+ ! en=ceability ( ! rema9+ t]ms & conditions4 c4 ,no t]m or condition ( ?is ,public ,lic5se w be waiv$ & no failure to comply cons5t$ to unless expressly agre$ to by ! ,lic5sor4 d4 ,no?+ 9 ?is ,public ,lic5se con/itutes or may be int]pret$ z a limitation ^u1 or waiv] (1 any privileges & immunities t apply to ! ,lic5sor or ,y1 includ+ f ! legal processes ( any jurisdiction or au?ority4