,,russian ,,portraits ,illu/ration3 ,b]tram ,p>k4 ,,cl>e ,,%]idan ,,9 ,,! ,,russian ,,%eepsk9 ,,hat ,,giv5 ,,to ,,h] ,,by ,,kam5eff ,,9 ,,mosc[4 ,frontispiece p4 #ahd4 ,,russian ,,portraits ,,by ,,cl>e ,,%]idan ,illu/ration3 colophon ,,jona?an ,,cape #aa ,,g[] ,,/reet1 ,,london1 ,w4,c4#a ,,mcmxxi ,,illu/rations ,,page ,,cl>e ,,%]idan ,frontispiece 8,,victory1 #aiah0 #ac ,,krass9 7bu/7 #ba ,,kam5eff 7bu/7 #bd ,,litv9(f ,,& ,,8 ,,son ,,mi%a ,,at ,,kri/iania #di ,,bridge ,,bl[n ,,up ,,by ,,yud5it* #fj ,,gukovski1 ,,8 ,,daught]1 ,,kam5eff ,,& ,,m>9a%ky #fc ,,m>9a%ky ,,& ,,! ,,m9i/]ial ,,rolls-,,royce #fe ,,! ,,kreml91 ,,%[+ ,,entrance ,,to ,,! ,,kam5effs' ,,ap>tm5ts #fg ,,big ,,bell1 ,,kreml9 #gj ,,colonnades ,,( ,,! ,,alex&] ,,memorial #ga ,,s]ge ,,trotsky ,,& ,,alex&re ,,kam5eff #gd ,,bronze ,,eagle ,,at ,,! ,,mus,e ,,alex&re ,,iii4 #gf ,,big ,,gun ,,at ,,! ,,kreml9 #gh ,,ro?/e9 #ha ,,/4 ,,savi\r',s #hc ,,z9oviev 7bu/7 #he ,,dzhirj9sky 7bu/7 #hh ,,m>g>et ,,& ,,ri*>d ,,br9sley ,,%]idan #ij ,,*ur* ,,( ,,/4 ,,basil #ib ,,spassky ,,entrance ,,to ,,! ,,kreml9 #aac ,,l59 7f a photograph7 #aah ,,l59 7bu/7 #aai ,,trotsky 7f a draw+7 #abd ,,ni*olas ,,&rev #abi ,,trotsky ,,at ,,! ,,front #adj ,,trotsky 7bu/7 #adc ,,s5try ,,outside ,,! ,,gue/-,,h\se #aeh ,,litv9(f ,,at ,,mosc[ #aha ,,/atue ,,( ,,do/oievsky #ahb ,,/atue1 8,,! ,,?9k]0 #ahc ,,! ,,sukh>efski ,,m>ket #ahd ,,=eword ,x is ) deep apology t ,i v5ture to swell ! ranks ( ^? p :o write _! little books aft] _! little visits to ,russia4 ,9 def5ce ,i c only say t ?is 0 n writt5 = publication4 ,i h always kept a di>y1 9 monoton\s z 9 ev5tful days4 ,9 publi%+ a record ( my /ay 9 ,mosc[ ,i am submitt+ to pressure )\t :i* ,i w\ld n v5ture ^u su* a l9e4 ,m9e is n ! bus9ess ( writ+1 nor are politics my conc]n3 ,i w5t to ,mosc[ :]e "s portrait "w 0 (f]$ me4 ,!re are p 9 ,engl& :o are indignant at my do+ ,l59 & ,trotsky4 ,!re 7 p 9 ,mosc[ :o 7 horrifi$ because ,i _h done ,*ur*ill1 & express$ a desire to d d',annunzio1 b z a portraiti/ ,i h no?+ to d ) politics2 x is humanity t int]e/s me1 humanity ) its =ce & its weakness1 its ambitions & fe>s1 its hone/y & lack ( scruples1 its p]fection & de=mities4 ,!re are ( c\rse p :o are pleasant] to "w = ?an o!rs1 p 9 ^: environm5t "o feels happi] & m at ease4 ,9 ?is di>y are writt5 freely ! impressions ( a gue/ among p :o h be5 mu* talk$ ab\t4 ,f ?is po9t ( view1 & )\t any political pret5tions1 ,i (f] x to :omsoev] x may int]e/4 ,,russian ,,portraits ,,augu/ #ad,,?1 #aibj4 ,london4 ,accord+ to ,mr4 ,fi%]'s in/ructions1 ,i call$ on ,mr4 ,m--at 8 (fice at #aj4cj & introduc$ myself4 ,he took me 9 a taxi to ,bond ,/reet to ! (fice ( ,messrs4 ,kam5eff & ,krass94 ,we wait$ = ab\t tw5ty m9utes 9 an anti-*amb]1 & ,i _h a c]ta9 melodramatic feel+4 ,"h 0 ,i1 at all ev5ts1 9 ! out] d5 ( ^! wild bea/s :o h be5 repres5t$ z ready to spr+ ^u u & dev\r u6 ,?is movem5t t has caus$ con/]nation to ! _w1 & ^! p s utt]ly remov$ f my environm5t1 ^! my?s ( :at seem$ almo/ a great leg5d1 ,i 0 n[ q close to4 ,mean:ile ! cl]ks 9 ! (fice occupi$ my att5tion1 !y int]e/$ me z types1 & ,i wond]$ ab\t !m1 ab\t exactly :at 9 _! lives _h made !m into ,bol%eviks1 & :at sort ( m5tality x 01 & :e!r ! s*eme :i* !y upheld 0 a workable conc]n4 ,at ! same "t ,mr4 ,m--put me /raight on a few po9ts1 & all ! inaccuracies ab\t ,bol%evism t p l myself h glean$1 s t ,i 0 fairly prep>$ & protect$ aga9/ appe>+ too ignorant & fooli%4 ,at la/ ! ^w came & we 7 u%]$ into ! (fice ( ,mr4 ,kam5eff :o receiv$ me amiably & smil+ly4 ,we />t$ (f almo/ imm$iately1 9 ,fr5*1 & discuss$ ! subject ( 8 be+ will+ to sit to me4 ,i !n ask$ him if a ,soviet ,gov]nm5t _h oblit]at$ ,art 9 ,russia4 ,he look$ at me = a mom5t 9 a/oni%m5t1 & !n said3 8,mais non6 ,arti/s are ! mo/ privileg$ class40 ,i ask$ if !y 7 able to e>n a liv+ wage8 ,he repli$ t !y 7 paid high] ?an ! ,gov]nm5t ,m9i/]s4 ,he gave me fully to und]/& t ,russia is mo/ appreciative ( ,art & ,tal5t1 & is anxi\s to surr\nd itself ) culture4 ,he decid$ t ! bu/ _h bett] be />t$ soon1 z "o nev] knew :at might happ5 f "o mom5t to ! next1 8:at caprice ( ,monsieur ,lloyd ,george0 might elect to s5d him out ( ! c\ntry at a mom5t's notice1 s we decid$ on ! foll[+ ,tuesday at #aj a4m4 ,mr4 ,kam5eff !n took u d[n/airs to ,krass9's (fice4 ,mr4 ,krass9 seem$ v busy & pre-occupi$1 _h someone 9 ! room1 & ,illu/ration3 8,,victory #aiah40 p4 #ac4 didn't q "k :at ,i _h come ab\t1 b he agre$ to sit to me on ! foll[+ ,w$nesday at #aj a4m4 ,,augu/ #ag,,?4 ,kam5eff arriv$ almo/ punctually at #aj a4m4 = an h\r1 b he /ay$ till #a o'clock1 & we talk$ = ! :ole ?ree h\rs almo/ )\t /opp+4 ,i d n "k h[ ,i manag$ to "w & talk s mu*4 ,my m9d 0 really m focuss$ on ! discussion1 & ! "w 0 done subconsci\sly4 ,at all ev5ts :5 ! ?ree h\rs 7 end$1 ,i _h produc$ a lik5ess4 ,!re is v little modell+ 9 8 face1 x is a p]fect oval1 & 8 nose is /raight ) ! l9e ( 8 =ehead1 b turns up slightly at ! end1 :i* is a pity4 ,x is difficult to make him look s]i\s1 z he smiles all ! "t4 ,ev5 :5 8 m\? is sev]e 8 eyes laugh4 ,my 8,victory0 0 unveil$ :5 he arriv$ & he notic$ x at once4 ,i told him x repres5t$ ! ,victory ( ! ,allies1 & he exclaim$3 8,b no6 ,x is ! ,victory ( all ! ages4 ,:at pa96 ,:at suff]+6 ,:at exhau/ion60 ,he !n add$ t x 0 ! be/ bit ( ,peace propag&a t he _h se54 ,we _h wond]ful conv]sations4 ,he told me all k9ds ( details ( ! ,soviet legislation1 _! ideals & aims4 ,_! fir/ c>e1 he told me1 is = ! *ildr51 !y are ! future citiz5s & require e protection4 ,if p>5ts are too poor to br+ up _! *ildr51 ! ,/ate w clo!1 fe$1 h>b\r & educate !m until f\rte5 ye>s old1 legitimate & illegitimate alike1 & !y d n ne$ to be lo/ to _! p>5ts1 :o c see !m :5ev] !y wi%4 ,?is sy/em1 he said1 _h d\bl$ ! p]c5tage ( m>riages 7civil ( c\rse71 & x _h also allay$ a good deal ( crime--= :at crimes are n committ$ to de/roy illegitimate *ildr58 ,he describ$ ! en=c$ education ( all classes--he told ( ! conc]ts !y organise = _! workm51 & ( _! appreciation ( ,ba* & ,wagn]4 ,!y h _h to ab&on 7already67 ! idea t all %\ld be paid alike4 ,admitt+ t "s are physically able to "w long] & bett] ?an o!rs1 !re=e !re h to be grades ( paym5t1 & :5 great tal5t %[s itself1 8cela m]ite d'tre recomp5s40 ,*aliap91 :o us$ to h ! title ( 8,arti/ to ! ,c\rt10 is n[ call$ 8,! ,arti/ ( ! ,p40 ,*aliap91 ,i ga!r$1 0 a v popul> figure4 ,aft] a:ile1 ,kam5eff let drop a sugge/ion :i* did n fall on b>r5 gr\nd--he ?rew x out app>5tly casually1 b 9 ord]1 ,i believe1 to see h[ ,i react$ to x4 ,i _h j be5 tell+ him t ,i _h all my life _h a love ( ,russian lit]ature1 ,russian music1 ,russian danc+1 ,russian art1 & he said1 8,y %\ld come to ,russia40 ,i said t ,i _h always dream$ x--& t p]haps--:o kn[s--som$ay4444 ,he said1 8,y c come ) me1 & ,i w get y sitt+s f ,l59 & ,trotsky40 ,i ?\ght he 0 jok+1 & hesitat$ a mom5t1 !n ,i said3 8,let me "k :5 y are go+ to />t1 & ,i w be ready 9 half an h\r40 ,he (f]$ to telegraph imm$iately to ,mosc[ = p]mission4 ,,augu/ #ah,,?4 ,krass9 arriv$ at #aj a4m41 & f\nd me read+ ! pap]s1 sitt+ on ! seat outside ! door4 ,l ,kam5eff1 he /ay$ till #a o'clock4 ,he has a beautiful head1 & he sat almo/ sph9x-l1 sev]e & expressionless mo/ ( ! "t4 ,we talk$ ( c\rse1 b 8 ,fr5* is less good ?an ,kam5eff's1 & we broke into occasional ,g]man--x 0 a good mix-up1 b we said all we want$ to say4 ,kam5eff _h talk$ to him ab\t me1 & _h told him ( ! project ( my go+ to ,mosc[4 ,i said no?+ ab\t x until he m5tion$ x4 ,:at impresses me ab\t ^! two m5 is _! impassive imp]turbability1 _! calm1 & _! pati5ce4 ,i suppose x is ! race1 or else t !y le>nt calm :5 !y 7 prison]s 9 ,sib]ia4 ,x is su* a contra/ to almo/ e o!r sitt]1 :o is re/less1 hurri$ & fidgety4 ,krass9 is sph9x-l2 he sits erect1 8 head up1 & 8 po9t$1 be>d$ *9 /ick+ defiantly out at an angle1 & 8 m\? tightly %ut4 ,he has no smile l ,kam5eff1 & 8 pi]c+ eyes j look$ at me impassively :ile ,i work$4 ,x 0 r uncanny4 ,krass9 is a ,sib]ian4 ,he expla9$ to me t 8 fa!r 0 a ,gov]nm5t local (ficial :5 he m>ri$ 8 "m :o 0 a peasant1 & "o ( tw5ty-two *ildr54 ,he himself 0 ! elde/ ( sev51 & 0 br\ght up 9 ,sib]ia4 ,at #a o'clock ,i ?ank$ him pr(usely = sitt+ s long & s well1 & he seem$ q surpris$ at my /opp+1 & said3 8,y h done ) me80 ,i expla9$ t ,i _h to cat* a tra91 s1 hav+ swall[$ a fi% & "s plums1 ,i ru%$ d[n ! alley to my taxi1 pursu$ by ,rigamonti :o ab&on$ 8 m>ble *isel & c>ri$ my suit-case & hurl$ 9 "s la/ ?+s to me4 ,i j caught ! #a4ej at ,wat]loo1 = ,godalm+1 to /ay two days ) ! ,midletons4#a ,,augu/ #ba,,/4 ,i got back to ! /udio ab\t midday to f9d a huge bun* ( roses & ! foll[+ note f ,kam5eff3-- ,london1 #ba ,aot4 ,*re ,madame1 ,je v\s prie la p]mission de mettre ces roses r\ges aux pi$s de votre belle /atue de la ,victoire4 ,bi5 v\s1 ,l4 ,k4 ,i did s1 & :5 he came at ab\t #d o'clock to sit1 ,i ?ank$ him1 b said t !y 7 n r$ & t x 0 a pity4 ,he look$ z if he didn't q und]/&1 & said3 8,yes1 !y are r$--r$ = ! blood ( ,victory40 ,! s5tim5t 0 "r1 b he is col\r bl9d1 ! roses 7 p9k6 ,i did n argue4 ,at ab\t #e o'clock ,s---- ,l----1 walk$ 9 unexpect$ly1 & 0 v surpris$ & int]e/$ to f9d ,kam5eff1 :o 0 no less int]e/$ at he>+ f ,s---- ,l---- t ,ar*bi%op ,mannix is 8 gue/1 & ,i got a good inn+s at my "w :ile ^! two talk$ toge!r4 ,kam5eff & ,i d9$ lat] at ! ,caf ,royal1 & !n w5t on to a ,revue1 :i* 0 v bad1 b ! audi5ce laugh$ a good deal1 & ,kam5eff wond]$ at _! *ildi% appreciation ( rubbi%4 ,,augu/ #bb,,nd4 ,twelve h\rs ) ,kam5eff666 ,he arriv$ at #aa a4m4 ) a huge album ( photographs ( ! ,revolution1 v int]e/+4 ,aft] look+ at x he sat to me = an h\r4 ,we !n lun*$ at ,cl>idges'4 ,aft] lun* we w5t = a taxi drive along ! ,embankm5t1 & pass+ ! ,tate ,gall]y1 w5t 94 ,x is be+ re-arrang$1 b we f\nd ! ,burne-,jones' t ,kam5eff 0 look+ =4 ,he /ood = a long "t be=e 8,! ,k+ & ! ,begg>-maid40 ,i suppose t 9 ! new sy/em all ! begg>-maids are que5s1 & t ! real k+s sit at _! feet4 ,at #d o'clock we w5t to ,trafalg> ,squ>e to see :at 0 go+ on4 ,! ,c\ncil ( ,action 7 hav+ a meet+4 ,kam5eff assur$ me t he mu/ n g ne> ! plat=m1 or be recognis$ by 8 fri5ds1 z he 0 "u promise to ! ,gov]nm5t to take no "p 9 demon/rations1 nor to d any propag&a "w4 ,h[ev]1 ,i dragg$ him by ! h& to ! outskirts ( ! cr[d1 & = no reason t ,i c expla91 ! %\t w5t up1 8,gangway = speak]s10 & a *annel op5$ up be=e u1 & we 7 ru%$ along x4 ,happily = ,kam5eff1 !re 0 a hit* z we approa*$ ! plat=m4 ,! cr[d ?\ght t a policeman 0 fav\r+ u unduly1 & gett+ u to ! plat=m1 & a y\ngi% man said3 8,/op t1 policeman1 ?is is a democratic meet+0 & tri$ to prev5t u go+ any f>!r4 ,= a:ile ,i felt ! ho/ility ( ! p ar\nd me4 ,"o ( ! speak]s1 ref]r+ to ! _s ( #aiad1 said t we _h giv5 our husb&s & sons !n1 b t we did n mean ev] to give !m aga91 &1 ,i1 ?9k+ ( ,dick1 jo9$ 9 ! %\ts ( 8,nev]1 nev]60 ) "s feel+1 & ,i felt ! atmosph]e k9dli] ar\nd me aft] t4 ,:5 ,lansbury tri$ to speak1 he 0 acclaim$ ) *e]s1 & _h to wait pati5tly :ile !y sang 8,= he's a jolly good fell[10 & *e]$ him aga94 ,he seem$ to me to talk less ( 8,class0 & m ( 8,cause40 ,j = a second he paus$ :5 say+1 8,:at we h to d1 is to /op----0 ,i fill$ 9 ! gap ) 8,mesopotamia40 ,:]eupon ! cr[d %\t$ 8,"h1 "h60 & 8,god bless y60 ,aft] t ,i 0 "o ( !m4 ,!n someone recognis$ ,kam5eff1 & ! :isp] w5t r\nd & spread l wildfire4 ,! m5 on ei!r side ( him ask$ if !y might ann\nce t he 0 !re1 to :i* he answ]$ a mo/ emphatic 8,no40 ,:5 ,lansbury _h f9i%$ speak+1 !re 0 an appeal = money = ! 8,cause40 ,x 0 int]e/+ to wat* ! /eady ra9 ( co9s1 & v t\*+ 7 ! p5nies ( ! poor4 ,lansbury buri$ 8 face 9 8 hat = protection4 ,aft] t we w5t away1 & a gangway 0 made = u1 & all along ! :isp] w5t ( 8,kam5eff10 & ! faces t look$ at u 7 radiant z ?\gh !y beheld a savi\r4 ,we took a taxi & drove to ,hampton ,c\rt1 & w5t into ! p>k1 to get away f ! ,sunday cr[d4 ,we sat on ,kam5eff's coat on ! grass 9 ! middle ( an op5 space1 & ! air 0 heavy & ! sun fitful1 z ?\gh a /orm imp5d$4 ,! di/ant elms 7 heavy gre51 & !re 0 a great /illness & calm4 ,we talk$ ab\t ! meet+1 & ( ! magnetism ( a cr[d4 ,he notic$ my suppress$ excitem5t1 = ,i _h blood to ! head6 ,if we _h be5 ru%$ to ! plat=m1 ,i c\ld h ,illu/ration3 ,,bu/ ,,( ,,krass94 p4 #bc4 spok5 to ! p1 ,i am sure t ,i c\ld4 ,he said t he _h be5 t]ribly mov$ to speak1 & t x _h be5 a great ef=t to hold back4 ,we talk$ & talk$1 & !n "s ra9 drops =c$ u to get up & return to ! ,mitre hotel = d9n]4 ,aft] d9n]1 ! wea!r cle>$1 & we _h a lovely h\r & a half 9 a boat on ! riv]4 ,!re 0 a ?ree-qu>t] moon1 & ! wat] reflect$ ! p9k lights f ! ,*9ese lant]ns ( ! h\seboats4 ,f ! g>d5 ( ,hampton ,c\rt1 rose up :at seem$ to be a giant cypress tree1 silh\ett$ aga9/ ! dusk1 & ! reflection ( x d\bl$ its height4 ,x 0 l some?+ 9 ,italy4 ,i r[$ ! boat1 :i* ,i lov$ do+1 & ,kam5eff humm$ ,volga boatman-songs4 ,or else we broke back into discussions1 & !n he =got t he 0 /e]+1 & we _h sev]al slight collisions1 & n>r[ escapes f m s]i\s ones6 ,x 0 a v successful ev5+1 & we came back by ! la/ tra9 to ,wat]loo1 /ill talk+1 *iefly ab\t t imp5d+ & all absorb+ visit to ,mosc[1 & we p>t$ on my door/ep at a qu>t] to midnight4 ,,augu/ #bd,,?4 ,i felt ill1 b got up e>ly1 expect+ ,krass9 at #aj o'clock1 b at #aj o'clock ,i got a telephone message to ! effect t nei!r ,krass9 nor ,kam5eff c\ld see me to-day1 z ! political crisis _h caus$ a deluge ( "w4 ,lloyd ,george at ,luc]ne _h tak5 exception to ! clause 9 ! ,russian ,peace ,t]ms dem&+ t ! ,poli% ,civic ,militia %\ld be drawn f ! work+ classes4 ,?is !y say is an infr+em5t ( ! lib]ty ( ,pol&4 ,tru? to tell1 x is ! ,poli% success ov] ! ,r$ ,army t has caus$ ?is diplomatic volte-face4 ,h[ev]1 t is too long to g into "h4 ,at d9n] "t ,kam5eff telephon$ to me t he at la/ _h "t to sp>e1 & c\ld he come & see me4 ,i ask$ him to take pot-luck = d9n]1 & he arriv$1 a batt]$ & worn fight+ man1 full ( indignation1 b /ill full ( fight1 & hope1 & belief4 ,he /ay$ till #aa1 & said t he felt bett]4 ,x 0 v /ill "h1 & ! peace did him good4 ,!re may be a 8,/ate ( ,w>0 9 a few days1 & z ?+s n[ /&1 !y all dep>t on ,friday4 ,great excitem5t1 z ,i %all g ) !m4 ,,augu/ #be,,?4 ,krass9 gave me my second sitt+ at #e p4m41 & /ay$ till #g4cj4 ,i he>d all ! late/ news4 ,he's a delightful man1 nev] h ,i done a head t ,i admir$ m4 ,he seems to be /rong morally1 to a degree ( adamant4 ,he is calm1 s9c]e1 dignifi$1 pr\d1 )\t self-consci\sness & )\t vanity1 & sci5tific 9 8 analysis ( ?+s & p4 ,eyes t are unfl9*+ & bewild]+ly direct1 no/rils t dilate ) s5sitiv5ess1 a m\? t looks h>d until x smiles1 & a *9 full ( det]m9ation4 ,,augu/ #bf,,?4 ,krass9 (f]$ me a ?ird sitt+1 & came aga9 at #e4j & /ay$ till aft] #g4j4 ,w> is av]t$1 & he assures me t ,kam5eff "u no excuse c possibly leave = ,russia = a =tnight4 ,i did n sleep mu*1 wak+ up ) ! exclamation 8,p>tons6 ,p>tons60 = if we d n get away = a =tnight1 ,i %all h to keep my engagem5t on ,septemb] #aj? at ,ox=d ) ! ,birk5heads to d ,f4 ,e41 & !n ,i %all n get to ,russia be=e my exhibition4 ,i work$ h>d1 & ,krass9's head is f9i%$4 ,i ?9k x good4 ,sydney#b came to see me aft] d9n]1 & we talk$ fanta/ically ab\t ,russia1 & :at x might or might n lead to4 ,he is t]ribly int]e/$4 ,,augu/ #bg,,?4 ,kam5eff came at #aa4j to give me a la/ sitt+4 ,he 0 9 a mu* happi] frame ( m9d1 *uckl+ ov] ,t*i*]9's reply to ,lloyd ,george1 :i* is an impud5t bit ( propag&a "w1 & all ! pap]s h to publi% x because x is (ficial4 ,i awak5$ ?is morn+ ) an excit$ & tir$ feel+1 my h&s trembl+1 :i* ,i h nev] kn[n be=e4 ,kam5eff arriv$ 9 mu* ! same condition4 ,he talk$ politics & got excit$ & work$ up & produc$ ! quizzical fr[n t ,i want$4 ,i work$ well1 & absolutely *ang$ ! :ole p]sonality ( 8 bu/1 :i* ,i ?9k he lik$4 ,he promis$1 incid5tally1 n to wait "h two weeks1 b says t he w />t n lat] ?an next ,friday4 ,i wond] if he keeps 8 promises4 ,pet]#c turn$ up ) a girl1 :i* di/urb$ ! sitt+ & ,i felt m & m hectic1 :at ) ! difficulties & ! battle ( x1 & kn[+ t x 0 ! la/ sitt+1 & feel+ dead beat1 & hav+ f9ally to /op = lun*4 ,we lun*$ ) ,sydney ,cooke at ,cl>idges'4 ,i introduc$ !m to ea* o!r1 & we are go+ to /ay ) ,sydney at 8 h\se 9 ! ,isle ( ,wight1 = ! week-end4 ,l all good =eign]s1 ,kam5eff express$ a desire1 "s days ago1 to see ! ,isle ( ,wight4 ,s we arrang$ to g--,i ,illu/ration3 ,,bu/ ,,( ,,kam5eff4 p4 #bd4 c\ld n !re=e g to my belov$ ,dick1#d b ,i s5t him a crocodile by ,pet]1 to comp5sate = my abs5ce4 ,d9$ ) ,aunt ,j5nie1#e %e has l>yngitis1 & look$ v ill4 ,%e ask$ me :at new "w ,i 0 engag$ on1 b ,i took good c>e n to m5tion ei!r ,russians or ,russia4 ,9 ! c\rse ( conv]sation1 %e told me t ,i 0 be+ criticis$ z hav+ too mu* fre$om4 ,i *uckl$ ov] ?is1 z ,i visualis$ to myself ! great b& ( p :o grudge "o t fre$om1 because !y h n got x1 & because !y "k t fre$om c\nts above rubies4 ,i said to ,aunt ,j5nie1 8,& h[ is t grave condition ( ?+s1 t dang]\s 8,lib]ty0 go+ to be rectifi$8 ,i am a wid[1 & e>n my liv+1 h[ is x to be o!rwise ord]$80 ,%e _h no sugge/ion1 x w\ld h be5 obvi\sly out ( place to sugge/ re-m>riage1 :i* 9 fact is ! only way ( end+ x1 ( end+ ev]y?+1 lib]ty1 "w1 & my happ9ess1 :i* is dep5d5t on my "w4 ,,augu/ #bh,,?4 ,i left ! /udio 9 a /ate ( *aos1 ,smi? be+ 9 ! mid/ ( ca/+ ! bu/s ( ,kam5eff & ,krass94 ,i felt a wond]ful s5sation ( relief at ^! be+ f9i%$1 & ! ,victory also4 ,ev]y?+ = ! mom5t is f9i%$1 until ,i beg9 some?+ new4 ,& :o w t be1 ,i wond]8 ,kam5eff pick$ me up at #ab4ae & we caught ! #ab4ej f ,wat]loo to ,portsm\?4 ,sydney met u at ! h>b\r & escort$ u to 8 h\se on ! ,isle ( ,wight1 ne> ,newport4 ,a v attractive j\rney across1 z x 0 w>m & calm wea!r4 ,a motor met u at ,ryde & took u to 8 h\se1 sev5 miles4 ,on arrival we flung ourselves d[n 9 ! sun on ! grass ( ! t5nis-c\rt4 ,& aft] tea1 z we lay full l5g? on rugs1 our heads lean+ on ! grassy bank beh9d u1 & ! sun gradually s9k+ l[] & l[]1 ,kam5eff = ov] an h\r told u ! hi/ory ( ! ,russian ,revolution4 ,he told x to u halt+ly1 /umbl+ along 9 8 bad ,fr5*1 wre/l+ ) words & phrases1 b always convey+ 8 mean+ & above all conjur+ up ! mo/ graphic pictures1 mak+ u see ) 8 eyes1 live ov] ! days ) him1 & "k all ! p conc]n$4 ,he is amaz+ly =ceful & eloqu5t4 ,we sat sil5t & spellb\nd4 ,he began z f> back z tw5ty ye>s ago1 ) ! fir/ ef=ts ( himself & ,l591 ,trotsky & ,krass94 ,he describ$ _! secret organisations1 _! discov]ies1 _! secrets1 8 mon?s & ye>s ( prison1 fir/ 9 cells1 !n 9 ,sib]ia--b long be=e he _h f9i%$1 our d9n] 0 ann\nc$1 & we w5t 9 j z we 71 to eat4 ,! spell = ! mom5t 0 brok51 & ?\gh ,kam5eff did n aga9 t ev5+ resume ! tale ( ! ,revolution1 he did mo/ ( ! ev5+'s talk+4 ,he describ$ to u %ortly1 b vividly1 ! individuality & psy*ology ( ,l594 ,!re 7 o!rs also ^: names ,i _c recall4 ,"o ,i rememb] 0 ,dzhirj9sky1 ! ,presid5t ( ! ,extraord9>y ,commission1 a man turn$ to /one ?r\gh ye>s ( traveaux =cs1 an ascetic & a fanatic1 :om ! ,soviet select$ z organis] & head ( 8,la ,t]reur40 ,?is is ! man ( :om ,maxim ,gorky wrote1 t "o c\ld see m>tyrdom cry/allis$ 9 8 eyes4 ,he p]=ms 8 ardu\s task1 suff]+ ov] x1 b ) ! conviction t he is help+ t[>ds an ultimate reign ( peace & calm1 t[>ds :i* end e means is ju/ifi$4 ,?is man sleeps 9 a n>r[ b$ beh9d a curta9 9 8 8bureau10 has few fri5ds1 & c>es = no wom51 b he is k9d to *ildr51 & consid]ate t[>ds 8 fell[-work]s :5 !y are ov]work$ or ill4 ,x is useless to try to tell any ( ,kam5eff's /ories1 !y require 8 individuality1 & w\ld lose 9 repeat+4 ,i only felt t x 0 a great wa/e t 8 audi5ce %\ld consi/ only ( u two1 :5 s _m might h be5 en?rall$4 ,,augu/ #bi,,?4 ,:5 ,i came d[n f breakfa/ ,i f\nd ! two m5 sitt+ ov] a fire4 ,i accus$ !m ( 8fr[/+10 & c>ri$ !m out to ! g>d51 :]e ,kam5eff re/>t$ 8 unconclud$ tale ( ! ,revolution1 until we c\ld be> ! cold no m1 s he f9i%$ x indoors 9 front ( ! fire4 ,x is a m>vell\s n>rative1 pray ,god ,i may nev] =get x4 ,at #b4cj1 ! aft]noon hav+ m5d$1 we />t$ (f 9 an op5 c> = ! s\? ( ! isl&4 ,on a hill ov]look+ ! sea1 ) a lonely bea*1 we /opp$1 & made a long ardu\s desc5t4 ,x 0 heav5ly on ! undulat+ bea* ( t9y r\nd$ pebbles by ! sea edge4 ,sydney & ,i paddl$ & ,kam5eff1 :o wat*$ u1 became ?or\ghly laugh+ & happy4 ,:5 ,sydney & ,i sat d[n on ! bea* & buri$ our feet 9 ! pebbles1 ,kam5eff began to write v]ses to me on ! back ( a five p\nd note4 ,i don't "k :at happ5$ to ! bank note1 b ,kam5eff wrote f\r l9es1 & ,sydney ! o!r f\r1 9 ,fr5*4 ,kam5eff lik5$ me to ,v5us1 b ,sydney 0 flippant1 & said t ! "p ( me t he lik$ be/ 0 my feet6 ,! sc5]y & ! climb recall$ ,capri1 b a fad$ ,capri1 )\t col\r4 ,nev]!less1 "o recall$ ! feel+ ( joy t "o _h at ,capri1 & ,kam5eff 0 mu* impress$ by ! beauty & ! peace ( x1 & said h[ di/ant politics seem$1 & h[ non-exi/5t ,mr4 ,lloyd ,george6 ,aft] a:ile we regretfully w5t on1 /opp+ only = a tea-picnic on a common by a lonely road4 ,,septemb] #b,,nd4 ,br$e ,place4 ,i h be5 "h s9ce ,monday4 ,papa is away 9 ,irel& fi%+1 ,mamma is "h & believes t ,i am /ill go+ ya*t+ & t a telegram w call me away at any m9ute4 ,z no wire has yet come & ,i _c be> ! susp5se1 ,i h decid$ to g up to ,london = ! day1 & %all g /raight to ,kam5eff's (fice f ! /ation s t ,i %all "k soon :e!r we />t = ,russia on ,saturday or n4 ,if we d ,i %all n come back "h4 ,i wond] :at x w be4 ,to-night1 :5 ,i said good night to him1 ,dick clung to me m ev5 ?an usual1 & we talk$ toge!r = a long "t4 ,he held me tight4 ,i 0 kneel+ on ! gr\nd beside 8 b$ ) my arms r\nd him4 ,he said t he c\ld n be> to let me g to-morr[1 & t he w\ld tie me up to a wall4 ,he 0 s v sweet1 & ,i felt a great reluctance at leav+ him4 ,,septemb] #c,,rd4 ,i w5t up to ,london & drove /raight to ! ,bol%evik (fice 9 ,bond ,/reet1 & left my luggage wait+ outside 9 ! taxi4 ,unlike ! previ\s occasion1 ,i 0 n %[n /raight 9 to ,kam5eff4 ,i sat d[n & wait$ 9 ! out] room :i* 0 full ( m51 six or sev5 ( !m1 & !y began discuss+ me 9 ,italian1 ,fr5*1 ,g]man & ,russian6 ,i tri$ to look dignifi$ & alo(1 & 01 ,i am sure1 a great failure z a ,bol%evik4 ,all my ,engli% conv5tional bre$+ took hold ( me4 ,!n lat] ,pet] came to fet* me1 ?9k+ t ,i _h f9i%$ my int]view1 & !n1 hav+ him to talk to1 ,i felt bett]4 ,lat] an eigh? man appe>$ ) a numb] ( pap]s & ! g>rul\s cr[d became ( a sudd5 s]i\s1 plac$ !mselves r\nd a table1 & seem$ to hold a sort ( c\ncil4 ,at ?is mom5t ,klys*ko pass$ by ! op5 door1 & espy+ me call$ ,pet] & me into 8 room to wait4 ,i ask$ him :y !re 7 s _m p 9 ! o!r room1 b he only %rugg$ 8 %\ld]s4 ,at la/ ,i 0 told t bo? ,kam5eff & ,krass9 want$ to see me1 & ,i 0 %[n into ,krass9's (fice4 ,i le>nt 9 a mom5t :at ,i _h fe>$1 t our j\rney is n = to-morr[4 ,mosc[ has answ]$ 8 application too late4 ,!re 0 j a fa9t *ance left1 = a telegram f ,mosc[ 0 be+ deciph]$ at t mom5t1 b x 0 almo/ too slight to c\nt ^u4 ,krass9 ask$ if he might br+ 8 wife & daught]s to ! /udio at #d o'clock1 & !n ,kam5eff took me up to 8 (fice4 ,he held out real hopes ( />t+ next week4 ,z soon z ,krass9 & 8 v attractive family1 b slightly al>m+ wife1 _h left1 ,i w5t to see ,x---- :om ,i ?\ght 0 9 a position to get ! visa ,i want = ,reval4 ,my passport is all 9 ord] to ,/ockholm1 b ,klys*ko has fail$ to get ! ,e/honian visa1 because x is necess>y to get ! ,=eign ,(fice approval to d s4 ,aft] ?ree-qu>t]s ( an h\r's talk ) ,x---- ,i realis$ t x 0 hopeless2 he m]ely %>$ ! g5]al prejudice4 ,x confirms me 9 my decision n to take any "o else into my confid5ce1 except ,sydney & ,s---- ,l----4 ,!y are ! only two :o h got ! _s to und]/&4 ,b h[ ,i want t ,e/honian visa--x is wor? an ef=t to get x1 in/ead ( />t+ ) an unc]ta9ty4 ,x---- expla9$ to me at great l5g?1 & k9dly1 :y he did n want me to g4 ,he said t he believ$ a complete *ange ( ,gov]nm5t policy 0 imp5d+1 :i* w\ld make my position 9 ,russia unt5able1 & moreov] t ,i %\ld be 9 great dang] ( be+ %ot z a spy4 ,he told me :at he ?\ght ( ,l59 & ,trotsky 7x seem$ v mu* :at o!r p ?9k71 he said t ,kam5eff 0 no bett] ?an ! re/1 & t a ,russian 0 capable ( turn+ ev5 ^u a fri5d4 ,f9ally he ask$ me :y ,i want$ to g8 ,i claim$ an arti/'s zeal 9 wi%+ to d a bu/ ( ,l59 & to br+ 8 head back 9 my arms6 ,he !n want$ to "k :y 8!y0 want$ to take me8 to :i* ,i c\ld give no cle> answ]1 hav+ wond]$ some:at myself4 ,he !n tri$ to draw me on ! subject ( ,bol%evism1 & ask$ me3 8,:at d y ga!r is ! f9al & ultimate object ( ! ,bol%eviks80 ,x 0 a difficult "q--,i ?\ght = a mom5t1 & !n ,i said3 8,!y are v great ideali/s2 x may be an unpractical & unworkable idealism1 b t does n alt] x40 ,he 0 surpris$ at ?is1 & said 9 a l[ voice1 almo/ m to himself ?an to me3 8,are !y z clev] z t0--by :i* ,i suppose he meant1 _h !y really be5 clev] en\gh to take me 96 ,at ! end ( x all ,i said to him3 8,y h se5 9 ! pap]s t ,h4 ,g4 ,wells is go+ to ,russia80 ,he said t ,wells c\ld look aft] himself4 ,i claim$ to be equally fit to d s1 to :i* he repli$3 8,s y /ill want to g80 ,i expla9$ t ,i 0 prep>$ = any?+4 ,he seem$ surpris$1 b practically ass5t$ to try & get my passport put 9 ord] = me1 & ask$ me to g & see him aga9 next week4 ,i got back 9 "t to d9e ) ,kam5eff at 8,canuto's40 ,aft] d9n]1 x be+ a lovely w>m ev5+1 we took an op5 taxi1 & ,i sugge/$ driv+ to ,hamp/ead ,hea?4 ,arriv$ !re1 we left ! taxi on ! ma9 road1 :il/ we w5t on foot (f a side road on to a r\gh s&y track1 q away f p & lights4 ,on a bank ,i spread my :ite fur coat1 & we sat !re = an h\r or m4 ,x 0 v beautiful4 ,! tall p9e /ems /ood out aga9/ ! gl[+ sky ( di/ant1 fl>+ ,london4 ,! place 0 full ( dep? & di/ance1 & night my/]y4 ,i talk$ to ,kam5eff ab\t my conv]sation ) a fri5d1 :o 0 a s]i\s1 intellig5t man1 & told him ( 8 op9ion t ,i %\ld be 9 dang] ( my life4 ,i add$ t ,i 0 prep>$ to take ! risk1 b t ,i %\ld regret my *ildr5 be+ orphans4 ,kam5eff answ]$ me half amus$1 half irritat$4 ,he said x 0 su* nons5se t he felt a great desire to />t imm$iately1 s z to %[ me ! tru?1 & s t ,i might come back & prove to all & sundry h[ ignorant !y are ( real conditions4 ,he consid]$ t no matt] :at l9e ! ,gov]nm5t adopt$ "h 7& he 0 prep>$ = ,lloyd ,george to d any?+ at any mom5t71 x w\ld n affect me4 ,i %\ld be reg>d$ purely z an arti/1 int]national & non-political4 ,!n laugh+1 he said t he w\ld h me put aga9/ a wall1 arms cross$ on brea/ 7n bl9dfold$1 t 0 a conv5tion ( ! ari/ocrats71 ) a fir+ p>ty be=e me1 & !n he w\ld save me at ! la/ mom5t4 ,!n ,i %\ld h liv$ ?r\gh e ?rill1 & my fri5ds w\ld n be disappo9t$4 ,he told me1 incid5tally1 t ,wrangel is defeat$ & discr$it$4 7,x----1 hav+ j told me t ,wrangel _h won ! peasants ov] to him1 & t he _h a s*eme ( mod]ate ,gov]nm5t1 & 0 likely to r\se a c\nt]-,revolution & depose ! pres5t lot74 ,s ,i said to ,kam5eff3 8,:]e is tru?80 ,& he answ]$3 8,!re is no tru? 9 ! _w1 ! only tru? is 9 "o's own he>t40 ,,septemb] #i,,?4 ,my bir?day1 & ! mo/ hectic day ( my life6 ,9 ! morn+ ,i work$ m or less calmly4 ,! 8,victory0 0 j be+ f9i%$1 ,smi? 0 *ipp+ away ! la/ rema9s ( m\ld4 ,rigamonti1 "u my direction 0 pun*+ ! block ( ,pr9cess ,pat41 s t m>ble *ips flew l %rapnel 9 all directions4 ,mean:ile1 ,h>t came to get my la/ ord]s ab\t m>ble p$e/als = unf9i%$ bronzes1 & on top ( all ,fior9i turn$ up4 ,he 0 t]ribly hurt because ,i h giv5 ! heads ( ,kam5eff & ,krass9 to ,p>lanti to ca/4 ,he _h dream$ ( do+ !m--he _h a ,bol%evik workman 9 8 f\ndry1 :o ask$ e day :5 ^? heads 7 com+4 ,he w\ld h ca/ !m1 he said1 = no?+1 j = ! hon\r & glory ( do+ !m4 ,i felt t]ribly badly ab\t x4 ,! little ,italian man is su* an en?usia/1 & he met ,kam5eff "h1 :o %ook h&s ) him1 & ,fior9i felt ab\t x z mo/ o!r p w\ld ab\t _! ,k+4 ,moreov]1 on t occasion1 he hid beh9d a p$e/al1 & rema9$ s quiet = a qu>t] ( an h\r1 wat*+ me & my sitt]1 t ,i =got t he 0 !re4 ,b because ,i und]/ood f him t he _h z mu* "w z he c\ld get ?r\gh = me 9 "t = my exhibition1 ,i _h giv5 ! heads to ,p>lanti1 :o promis$ !m 9 "t4 ,i hope t ,i com=t$ him by promis+ to give him duplicates to ca/1 z pres5ts = ,kam5eff & ,krass91 ! :i* ,i _h _h no int5tion ( do+1 & c ill af=d1 b to *e] up ,fior9i1 ,i w d x4 ,!n ! telephone w5t & ,klys*ko ann\nc$ to me t x 0 all decid$--,kam5eff is />t+ on ,saturday morn+1 has res]v$ places1 & ,i h no?+ to d b get my ticket4 ,i said t ,i 0 hav+ difficulties ov] my passport1 & he expla9$ to me t all ,i ne$ is ! visa via ,*ri/iania to ,/ockholm1 & t at ,/ockholm ! ,e/honian ,legation w\ld see me ?r\gh4 ,i d9$ ) ,sophie ,wav]tree & ,f4 ,m4 ,b4 ,fi%]4 ,he walk$ home ) me2 he x 0 :o orig9ally br\ght me into ?is wond]ful new _w4 ,,septemb] #aj,,?4 ,kam5eff telephon$ at breakfa/4 ,he is really />t+ to-morr[4 ,at #aj4ae1 a wire f ,sydney to say t he is arriv+ f ,scotl&1 at #e o'clock4 #aa4cj1 to ,b>clays ,bank1 ca%$ #ajj4 #aa4dj1 to ,cooks'1 b\ght my ticket4 #ab o'clock1 to ,bond ,/reet ,(fice1 saw ,kam5eff4 ,he says x doesn't matt] ab\t a passport1 t he c pu% me ?r\gh f ,/ockholm4 #a o'clock1 b\ght a hat 9 ,s\? ,m\lton ,/reet4 #b o'clock1 back at /udio4 ,wrote lett]s all aft]noon4 #d4cj1 hair wa%$ & cut4 #g o'clock1 back to /udio1 pack$ & d9$4 #aj4cj1 ,sydney came1 & :ile we 7 talk+ ,kam5eff rang up to say he _h a few %ort h\rs ago _h 8 int]view ) ,lloyd ,george1 & t he ga!r$ f ! int]view t he1 ,kam5eff1 leaves to-morr[1 n to return--?is 0 to w>n me--b he told me to come all ! same4 ,i rang up ,s---- ,l----1 :o c\ld h>dly believe t ,i am really />t+4 ,he came r\nd to see me1 & we talk$ f> into ! night4 ,,septemb] #aa,,?4 ,mr4 ,krass91 & mo/ ( ! #abh ,new ,bond ,/reet /aff1 7 at ,/4 ,pancras to see u />t4 ,krass9 pres5t$ me ) a big box ( *ocolates ti$ up ) r$ ribbons4 ,we 7 r a conspicu\s gr\p on ! plat=m1 & ,i fe>$ e second to meet someone :om ,i knew travell+1 possibly to ,york1 on ! same tra94 ,s---- ,l---- 0 !re to wi% me ,god-spe$1 & ,sydney1 :o is /ay+ ) fri5ds ne> ,newca/le1 & came d[n ye/]day to sp5d my la/ ev5+ ) me1 travell$ back to ,newca/le ) u4 ,rigamonti turn$ up unexpect$ly1 :i* t\*$ me v mu*4 ,sydney1 fulfill+ 8 reputation z an organis]1 discov]$ t !re 7 two tra9s go+ to ,newca/le1 & t ! next "o :i* left a little lat] _h a re/aurant c>1 s we transf]r$ our luggage f ! "o to ! o!r1 & 9 ! process ,i lo/ my h&bag1 :i* _h a hundr$ p\nds 9 x 9 bank notes1 all ,i possess 9 ! _w4 ,x caus$ me "s agitation1 b ,kam5eff 0 q calm & seem$ to ?9k t money 0 n v important1 & t ,i %\ld n h mu* ne$ ( x 9 ,russia4 ,to my int5se relief1 h[ev]1 ,sydney f\nd ! case at ,newca/le1 9 ! lo/ prop]ty (fice1 x travell$ ahead ( u on ! o!r tra94 ,sydney came to ! %ip ) u1 ,i don't ?9k he believ$ 9 ! reality ( my j\rney until he saw me safely pa/ ! passport (ficials4 ,i c]ta9ly felt no s5se ( security until ! /eam] left ! quay-side4 ,!re 0 some?+ indescribably excit+ & cl&e/9e ab\t slipp+ away )\t anyone kn[+4 ,= "s "t ,kam5eff & ,i /ood on deck to see ! la/ ( ,engl&1 ) h] ,turn] sky4 ,! sunset 0 gold5 haze1 & ,kam5eff said3 8,x looks my/]i\s1 t l&1 doesn't x80 ,b to me x 0 j ! old _w wrapp$ 9 a %r\d4 ,my/]y lay ahead ( u 9 ! new _w t is our de/9ation4 ,n[ = ! fir/ "t ,i _h leisure & calm 9 :i* to ?9k ov] :at ,i am do+4 ,!re p]si/ 9 my m9d fa9t e*oes ( w>n+s1 b ,i mu/ h no misgiv+s1 x seems to me unlikely t ,kam5eff w\ld invite me to g to 8 c\ntry if ,i 7 likely to be ei!r unhappy or 9 dang] !re4 ,he mu/ "k :at he is do+1 & :at he is tak+ me to4 ,!re are mom5ts 9 life :5 x is necess>y to h bl9d fai?4 ,,septemb] #ab,,?4 ,s4,s4 8,jupit]10 ,b]g51 ,norway4 ,x is #i4de pm4 ,we h j ?is mom5t come along ! quay-side at ,b]g54 ,we are n to l& until to-morr[ morn+4 ,! cross+ has be5 wond]ful2 z calm z a lake ! :ole way4 ,i h a cab9 = ?ree all to myself1 !re are v few p on bo>d4 ,x is z com=table z a ya*t4 ,! only fell[ travell] ) :om we h spok5 is an ,am]ican1 call+ himself ,comrade ,co/ello4 ,he reports = ! ,f$]at$ ,press4 ,a v ke5 j\rnali/1 typically ,am]ican1 & "o :o does n all[ ! grass to grew "u 8 feet4 ,= an h\r ?is aft]noon ,i act$ z int]pret] betwe5 him & ,kam5eff4 ,i _h to ask ab\t /range p & /range ?+s1 t ,i knew no?+ ab\t4 ,i _h n ev5 he>d ( ,debs be=e4 ,i expect t ,i %all h a pretty good k ( all ! ,revolution>y ,lead]s 9 all c\ntries be=e long4 ,kam5eff _h a cig>ette 9 my cab9 ?is ev5+1 & we discuss$ ,philosophy1 ,religion1 & ,revolution4 ,x surpris$ me v mu* t he does n believe 9 ,god4 ,he says t ! idea ( ,god is a dom9ation & t he res5ts x1 z he res5ts all o!r dom9ations4 ,he talk$ nev]!less ) great admiration ( ! tea*+s ( ,*ri/1 ,:o dem&$ pov]ty & equality among m51 & ,:o said t ! ri* man _h no m *ance ( ! ,k+dom ( ,heav5 ?an a camel ( pass+ ?r\gh a ne$le's eye4 ,,septemb] #ac,,?4 ,gr& ,hotel1 ,kri/iania1 ,norway4 ,to-day might h be5 _m days1 & we might h be5 cross+ ! _w4 ,! tra9 left ,b]g5 at #h4ae a4m4 ,we _h a comp>tm5t to ourselves ) big w9d[s4 ,sl[ly f ,voss ! tra9 climb$ high] & high]4 ,! high] we w5t ! less vegetation !re 04 ,big trees became small] trees1 & !n dw>f trees1 & !n %rubs1 until f9ally !re 0 only ! little l[ creep+ junip]4 ,!re 7 rocks & b\ld]s1 fall+ torr5ts & cold1 /ill lakes1 & 9 ! %ad[ ( ! m\nta9 great pat*es ( et]nal sn[ t nev] melt4 ,?is morn+ 9 ! breakfa/ c> we eag]ly ask$ = news1 be+ unable to read ,norwegian4 ,! man :o 0 read+ ! pap] in=m$ u1 9 brok5 ,engli%1 t ! coal situation 0 exactly ! same1 & ! ,"l ,mayor ( ,cork n dead yet1 & ) t summ>y we _h to re/ cont5t4 ,lat] 9 ! morn+1 ! d9+-c> att5dant s\ght u out1 & arm$ ) a newspap] said3 8,h y he>d ! news80 he !n made a b[ & ask$3 8,mr4 ,kam5eff--yes80 & %[$ him a photograph ( ,k4 9 ! morn+'s pap]1 & ! in=mation t he _h left ,engl&1 & 0 on 8 way to ,russia4 ,t settl$ x1 ,kam5eff 0 recognis$1 & ! c> att5dant spread ! in=mation4 ,aft] t1 :5ev] we walk$ ! plat=m ( a /ation we 7 ! cynosure ( all eyes4 ,at lun*eon ,kam5eff ask$ ! c> att5dant1 :o spoke ,russian s well1 :]e he _h le>nt x4 ,! answ] 0 t fifte5 ye>s ago he _h sp5t two ye>s z a wait] 9 ,petrograd4 ,kam5eff told him t ,russia _h *ang$ consid]ably s9ce !n1 & t he ought to g & see x4 ,! att5dant ) a def]5tial smile said t he w\ld be afraid to4 ,at ,f9se1 ! highe/ po9t1 :]e we 7 on a level ) ! m\nta9 summits1 & :]e sn[ lay r\nd u & bel[ u1 ! tra9 /opp$ = t5 m9utes4 ,we got out & walk$ ab\t1 & ,i took my kodak4 ,beyond ! plat=m on ! slop+ bank a granite monoli? /ood up grimly aga9/ ! sn[-pat*$ di/ance &1 to my surprise1 engrav$ ^u x 7 ! names ( ,capta9 ,scott & all 8 p>ty1 ) ! date1 & ! ann\ncem5t t !y _h />t$ f ,norway = ! ,s\? ,pole4 ,x 0 r motionant f9d+ x s unexpect$ly1 & s remote4 ,at #aj p4m41 we /eam$ into ,kri/iania1 :]e we 7 met by ,litv9(f4 ,i _h visualiz$ a small1 %>p-fac$1 al]t man4 ,in/ead ,i f\nd a big1 squ>e1 amiable1 smil+ man4 ,he in=m$ u t !re 0 n a room to be _h at ! ,gr& ,hotel1 & turn+ to me1 add$ 9 ,engli%3 8,if y want rooms 9 ! ,gr& ,hotel y w h to secure !m ?r\gh ! ,briti% ,legation40 ,we all laugh$1 & ,i said3 8,we are n mak+ mu* use ( ! ,briti% ,legation on ?is trip40 ,z we ent]$ ! ,gr& ,hotel & /epp$ into ! lift1 ,i caught ! s\nd ( /r+-b& music1 :i* *>act]ises ! ,gr& ,hotels & ,ritz-,c>ltons ( ,europe1 & sugge/s all t side ( life ) :i* we on ?is trip are n q 9 h>mony4 ,litv9(f accommodat$ me 9 ! room ( "o ( 8 secret>ies4 ,i felt r /range1 lonely1 & lo/1 especially :5 que/ion$ by "o ( !m z to my "w & plans4 ,_h ,i be5 work+ 9 ! ,soviet (fice 9 ,london8 ,i felt r at a disadvantage1 hav+ to expla9 t ,i 0 m]ely an arti/ :o _h done portraits ( ,kam5eff & ,krass9 7:o1 by ! way1 !y spoke ( z ,comrade71 & t ,i hop$ to get ?r\gh to ,russia ) ,kam5eff to d "s portraits !re4 ,i felt1 z !y look$ at me1 t ,i did n look mu* l a sculptor4 ,!y proce$$ to tell me t no ,briti% passports 7 be+ issu$1 & t any am\nt ( p 7 be+ held up "h4 ,v *e]ful6 ,by ?is "t ,i _h drunk ?ree cups ( excell5t tea out ( a tumbl]1 & x 0 ne>ly midnight1 s ,i sugge/$ b$1 apologis+ at ! same "t = mak+ use ( _! room & necessitat+ _! discom=t4 ,x be+ n[ #a o'clock1 ,i propose to sleep1 ?\gh ,i am only wrapp$ 9 my rug1 = ! b$ is n made up = me1 & ,i d n l sleep+ 9 o!r p's %eets6 ,! noise 9 ! /reet is p]fectly inf]nal & ,kam5eff & ,litv9(f are /ill talk+ 9 ! next room on my o!r side4 ,,septemb] #ad,,?4 ,kri/iania4 ,slept v well1 wrapp$ 9 my rug4 ,woke up at #i o'clock1 & _h breakfa/ 9 b$4 ,_h look$ =w>d to a ba?1 b ! s\r-fac$ hotel maid says !re are too _m g5tlem5 :o want x1 & s ,i _c h "o4 ,?is does n seem an adequate reason = d5y+ x to me1 & ,i r suspect x is "p ( a g5]al boycott ( ,bol%eviks4 ,:ile ,i 0 breakfa/+1 ,kam5eff look$ 9 ) ! morn+ pap]s1 :i* h come out ) headl9es & photographs ( him4 ,"o describes him z hav+ arriv$ 8) a lady1 tall & elegant1 :o c>ri$ 9 "o h& a 8,kodakap>at0 & 9 ! o!r a box ( sweets--%e does n look ,russian1 & 0 he>d to speak 9 ,fr5*40 ,at lun*eon ,i met ,mrs4 ,litv9(f1 & 0 surpris$ to f9d t %e is ,engli%1 a fri5d ( ! ,meynells & ( ,h4 ,g4 ,wells4 ,%e has %ort black hair1 & is unconv5tional4 ,%e did n seem to be v political or revolution>y4 ,! ?ird baby is imm95t4 ,aft] lun*eon1 we made an exp$ition outside ,kri/iania to ! wireless /ation1 :i* is on ! top ( a wood$ hill f :i* !re is a magnific5t ,view4 ,mi%a1 ! elde/ *ild1 a boy ( f\r1 accompani$ u4 ,he is unruly1 wild-ey$1 & mo/ attractive1 ! embodim5t ( ,donatello's 8laugh+ boy40 ,he says3 8,:at = is my fa!r a ,bol%evik80 & tells 8 "m to r+ ! bell = ! maid1 & n to d any "w h]self4 ,litv9(f adores him & ?r[s him ab\t & makes him /& on 8 head4 ,com+ home ,litv9(f & ,i1 hatless1 ran races d[n ! hill4 ,to my great humiliation he outran me4 ,he is a heavy man & ,i run well1 b he 0 n ev5 out ( brea?4 ,on ! way back 9 ! op5 c>1 !y all sang ,russian folk songs 9 a *orus4 ,bol%eviks are a v *e]ful species4 ,we rea*$ ! hotel j 9 "t to pick up our luggage & cat* ! tra9 = ,/ockholm4 ,!re 7 real cordial good-byes all r\nd4 ,litv9(f said t if ,i did n get ?r\gh f ,/ockholm1 ,i mu/ come back to ,kri/iania & he w\ld s5d someone ) me to take me ?r\gh ,murmansk1 b ,mrs4 ,litv9(f said t ,i %\ld get ?r\gh f ,/ockholm4 8,t sort ( p]son always gets :at %e wants0 %e said1 b gave no fur!r comm5t1 & ,i am wond]+ :at sort ( p]son ,i am4 ,! two secret>ies gave me messages = fri5ds 9 ,mosc[1 & seem$ v envi\s ( anyone go+ back4 ,"o ( !m 7) mo/ beautiful *e/nut hair71 held =? to me on ! great diff]5ce ! ,revolution _h br\ght 9 ! position ( wom54 ,%e is an ard5t ,communi/1 & works #aj h\rs a day ) a will+ he>t & little pay4 ,%e add$ z a la/ appeal3 8,g & see = y\rself1 & !n say nice ?+s ab\t u :5 y get back to ,engl&40 ,,septemb] #ae,,?4 ,/ockholm1 ,sw$54 ,we arriv$ at #h4cj a4m41 & 7 met at ! /ation by ,fr$]ick ,/rm1 head ( ! left w+ ,sociali/ p>ty ( ,sw$54 ,x 0 an int]e/+ contra/ to my arrival 9 =m] ye>s :5 ! ,cr[n ,pr9ce himself us$ to meet me & take me 9 a royal c> to ! ,palace4 ,i felt a great sadness z ,i pass$ t old ,palace1 & ! w9d[s ( ,pr9cess ,m>g>et's rooms :i* ,i knew s well4 ,! days :5 ,i us$ to /ay !re seem$ v long ago & ( ano!r _w4 ,we drove to ! ,gr& ,hotel :i*1 h[ev]1 prov$ to be full1 b we 7 n at a loss3 we drove (f to a p]fectly *>m+ ap>tm5t belong+ to ! ,krass9s1 b :i* 9 _! abs5ce is inhabit$ by a ,comrade ,juon4 ,!re we 7 mo/ c\rte\sly receiv$1 & giv5 a spl5did breakfa/4 ,juon is ab\t six feet & a half high1 & broad 9 proportion1 ) a black be>d & a k9dly expression4 ,8 eyes h exceptionally big pupils1 :i* give a curi\s gleam & ke5ness to 8 expression4 ,8 bro!r 9 ,russia is a well-kn[n pa9t]4 ,conv]sation betwe5 ! two 0 mo/ly 9 ,russian4 ,i am beg9n+ to cultivate a deta*$ feel+1 & ,i d n expect to und]/& mu* dur+ ! next few weeks1 except ?r\gh my eyes4 ,:ile we 7 breakfa/+ ! ,gr& ,hotel telephon$ to place a suite ( rooms at our disposal1 s we return$ !re1 & ! hotel au?orities 7 mo/ civil4 ,f t mom5t !re ensu$ a hectic p]iod4 ,s]ies ( newspap] report]s arriv$1 & _h to be giv5 int]views4 ,comrades came1 & /ay$--!re seem$ to be p revolv+ p]petually4 ,"s ( !m only und]/ood ,g]man1 o!rs /ruggl$ 9 bad ,engli%1 yet o!rs 9 ,fr5*2 ! :ole conv]sation 0 mix$ up ) ,sw$i% & ,russian1 s t "o's head reel$4 ,among all ^! p1 "o figure /&s out m cle>ly ?an ! re/4 ,?is is ,rjasan(f1 a man ab\t sev5ty1 ) a ,greek pr(ile1 a be>d t /icks out defiantly & hawk's eyes4 ,he has a dom9at+ p]sonality4 ,he has done five ye>s ( solit>y conf9em5t 9 a cell = ! cause4 ,he 0 *>m+ to me1 & 8 expression lo/ "s ( its battle & became ev5 k9dly :5 he look$ at me4 ,ano!r man :o /&s out 9 my m9d is a ,communi/ poet call$ ,torr ,norman1 :o has translat$ ,rup]t ,brooke4 ,mr4 ,/rm accompani$ me to ! ,e/honian ,consulate to get my ,reval visa4 ,!re 71 z ,i expect$1 endless difficulties1 & no?+ 0 ,illu/ration3 ,,litv9(f ,,& ,,8 ,,son ,,mi%a ,,at ,,kri/iania4 p4 #de4 settl$1 & to-morr[ ! boat leaves at #d o'clock s t !re is n mu* "t4 ,i feel pretty confid5t t all w end well4 ,x is n possible t !re c be any o!r end+4 ,we 7 a big p>ty lun*+ 9 ! re/aurant & attract$ a good deal ( att5tion4 ,aft] lun* we all w5t to ,skans5 & _h tea !re4 ,9 ! ev5+1 ,kam5eff _h to g out & keep an appo9tm5t1 & :ile he 0 away ,i wre/l$ on ! telephone ) report]s1 try+ to w>d (f int]views until ! morr[4 ,at #aj p4m41 ,kam5eff came back & we d9$ 9 ! sitt+-room2 he 0 pretty dead beat4 ,ev5 !n a report] came to ! door & ask$ = an int]view1 b ,i insi/$ t he mu/ be put (f until ! next day1 & ,kam5eff1 r will+ly ,i ?9k1 gave 94 ,,septemb] #af,,?4 ,?is morn+ ,i telephon$ to ! ,palace & ask$ = ! ,cr[n ,pr9ce4 ,kam5eff ask$ me if ,i 7 "r to risk x4 ,he said t ,i might be v ill receiv$ 9 view ( ! company ,i 0 91 b ,i expla9$ t he 0 "o ( ! mo/ democratic ,pr9ces 9 ,europe4 ,pr9ce ,gu/av's surprise 0 inde$ pretty great4 ,he 0 enorm\sly int]e/$ & amus$1 & ask$ me to lun*1 & to come at midday s z to get a good talk fir/4 ,kam5eff li/5$ to our conv]sation ) "s amusem5t4 ,he told me aft]w>ds t he lik$ 8! tone40 ,i wond] :e!r he _h expect$ me to be diff]5t4 ,i ask$ ! ,pr9ce z a fav\r t ,pr9cess ,m>g>et's maid1 ,amy1 might come out %opp+ ) me4 ,%e came & fet*$ me1 & 0 a trem5d\s help1 z %e knew :]e to take me1 & did all ! talk+ 9 ,sw$i%4 ,i left h] to collect my p>cels1 z x 0 ne>ly midday1 got a taxi1 & told him to drive to 8,! ,palace40 ,he look$ vague1 & did n und]/&4 ,i said3 8,palace6 ,kronpr9z540 ,he nodd$ ass5t & drove (f 9 a direction t ,i knew 0 n t[>ds ! ,palace4 ,we fet*$ up 9 a /reet 9 front ( ! ,kronpr9z5 ,hotel4 ,x 0 hopeless to argue--,i plung$ into ! hotel & ask$ = someone :o spoke ,engli% & expla9$ my dilemma1 to ! int5se amusem5t ( ! hotel (ficials1 & ( ! taxi driv] :5 x 0 expla9$ to him4 ,! ,pr9ce look$ v lonely 9 ^? big rooms1 & !y 7 extraord9>ily vibrant & rem9isc5t ( h]4 ,he made me sit d[n & tell him all ab\t my plans & my adv5ture1 & fell ?or\ghly into ! _s ( ! ?+4 ,he said t ,i 0 q "r1 if my exhibition at ,agnew's = ,octob] 0 all organis$1 n to sacrifice ! *ance ( ?is exp]i5ce on t acc\nt4 ,he ?\ght ! exp$ition a dang]\s "o1 b s5sibly admitt$ t t 0 my conc]n & no "o else's4 ,he ask$ me1 ( c\rse1 a numb] ( que/ions z to :at sort ( m5 ,kam5eff & ,litv9(f 74 ,i c\ld n help be+ p]fectly frank1 & tell+ him my s9c]e impressions4 ,:ile ,i 0 !re ,kam5eff telephon$ to say t ! ,consulate ( ,e/honia _h giv5 me my visa4 ,at lun*eon1 ! lady-9-wait+ & ! ,a4,d4,c4's seem$ r bewild]$4 ,x c]ta9ly mu/ h appe>$ fanta/ic to !m1 accu/om$ to ! dull r\t9e ( ,c\rt life1 to be ent]ta9+ someone :o 0 on ! way to ,russia ) ,kam5eff to model ! heads ( ,l59 & ,trotsky4 ,! ,pr9ce 0 ov]:elm+ 9 8 desire to help my mat]ial com=ts4 ,he telephon$ = biscuits1 & two l>ge t9s arriv$1 also cig>ettes4 ,he wrote out 8 prospective trip1 ) dates1 to ,a!ns & ,italy1 9 hopes t possibly we may meet if ,i come back t way4 ,f9ally he escort$ me to ! taxi t await$ me 9 ! c\rt-y>d1 & wi%$ me luck & ,god-spe$4 ,i return$ to ! ,gr& ,hotel1 & f\nd an al>m+ cr[d ( ,comrades lun*+ ) ,kam5eff 9 8 sitt+-room1 b we _h to leave almo/ imm$iately to cat* our boat = ,reval4 ,,septemb] #ag,,?4 ,hango1 ,f9l&4 ,x is ev5+1 we h j put 9 at ,hango1 a ,f9ni% port4 ,no "o is all[$ (f ! %ip1 by ord] ( ! ,port au?orities4 ,f9l& is n yet at peace ) ,russia1 & ,kam5eff w\ld probably be arre/$ if he set foot on %ore4 ,! la/ "t t he walk$ into ,f9ni% t]ritory 9 #aiag1 n kn[+ t ! ,:ites 7 9 possession ( ! t[n1 he 0 put 9 prison = ?ree mon?s1 & by a miracle 0 n %ot4 ,s f> we h _h a pretty good j\rney2 ! little boat has hugg$ ! coa/ ( ! ,al& isl&s4 ,we h _h to put into ,hango = ! night1 because we c only /eam by day on acc\nt ( ! float+ m9es betwe5 "h & ,reval t h n yet be5 cle>$4 ,i h sp5t half ! day 9 my cab9 sleep+1 ! o!r half on deck talk+4 ,i h lo/ all track ( days & dates2 we seem to h be5 j\rney+ = ev]4 ,!re are no pleasure tripp]s or any ( ! idle curi\s on bo>d4 ,ev]yone practically is b\nd = ,russia1 & we look at "o ano!r curi\sly1 wond]+ :at ea* o!r's mission is4 ,!re are ,comrades return+1 & !re are j\rnali/s1 trad]s & bank]s2 p :o hope to get ?r\gh f ,reval1 p :o probably w1 & o!rs :o c]ta9ly w n4 ,kam5eff is wat*$ by ev]yone1 & we h made innum]able acqua9tances4 ,already !re is ar\nd u a little gr\p ( fri5ds1 :om "o has ! feel+ ( hav+ kn[n a long "t4 ,to-morr[ we g on to ,reval4 ,x seems to me too wond]ful & unbelievable t ,i am really on ?is boat ( fe>s & dreams3 fe>s ( n gett+ on bo>d1 & dreams ( ! _w into :i* x w\ld sail ) me4 ,,septemb] #ah,,?4 ,reval1 ,e/honia4 ,at dawn we left ,hango1 b !re 0 su* a w9d bl[+ t ! %ip an*or$ j at ! entrance ( ! h>b\r1 & = a few h\rs we swung r\nd4 ,no "o compla9$ ( delay & no "o seem$ to be 9 a hurry4 ,!re 0 no attempt to keep a s*$ul$ "t3 a calm atmosph]e ( fatalism1 :i* is probably ,russian1 seem$ to hang ov] u4 ,! sun 0 %9+ brilliantly :5 we f9ally set out to sea1 & ,i 0 hav+ a mo/ int]e/+ conv]sation ) ,mr4 ,as*b]g1 a ,sw$i% bank]1 :o did me ! complim5t ( talk+ to me on political economy1 ( :i* ,i und]/ood no?+4 ,he told me int]e/+ ?+s ab\t ,bol%evik bus9ess transactions ) ,g]many1 9 :i* x seem$ t ! ,bol%eviks 7 ali5at+ ! ,g]man work]s by negotiat+ ) ! ,g]man capitali/s4 ,9 my own m9d ,i did n see h[ !y c\ld d o!rwise1 b my ignorance on ^! ?+s is s great1 t ,i try to le>n all ,i c )\t giv+ myself away by ask+ too _m que/ions4 ,x is a sl[ process1 b ,i h hopes4 ,! m]e fact ( be+ "u ! w+ ( a man l ,kam5eff1 & b\nd = ,russia1 seems to make p talk to me z if ,i 7 a man4 ,x is a great com=t no long] to meet p on a social or sup]ficial gr\nd4 ,!re 7 p ev5 :o talk$ to me on mo/ obscure subjects1 & ask$ = my int]cession = !m ) ,kam5eff6 ,at sunset we /eam$ into ,reval1 :]e ! po9t$ t[]s & ! s\nd ( old bells z 9 ,italy awak5$ "o to a new atmosph]e t 0 no long] ,sc&9avian4 ,a motor met u at ! quay1 ! only motor !re1 & a man :o _h cross$ ) u1 & :om ,i suspect$ ( be+ a ,briti% ag5t1 said to me ironically z he drove away 9 a dro%ki3 8,h[ v sm>t & di/+ui%$ ( y to h a motor----0 ,kam5eff's boy ( twelve met u1 & !re 7 two small *ildr5 z well1 belong+ to ,gukovski1 ! ,soviet repres5tative at ,reval4 ,!y took up mo/ ( ! room t 0 ne$$ = luggage4 ,alex&re ,kam5eff _h to /& on ! /ep outside1 & a soldi] ( ! ,r$ ,army on ! o!r4 ,?us our curi\s c>-load made its way1 hoot+ l\dly ?r\gh m$ival tortu\s /reets4 ,:at foll[$ is r nebul\s 9 my m9d4 ,i 0 v tir$ & ! t[n v d>k2 !re 7 />s ov]head1 b no /reet lamps4 ,we drove to "s bleak build+ call$ ! ,hotel ,pet]sb\rg1 :i* seem$ to be ! ,bol%evik ,g4,h4,q4 ,x 0 dirty & grim1 & full ( /range-look+ p :o talk$ no language t ,i und]/ood4 ,!y look$ at me /rangely2 a great _m h&s %ook m9e4 ,kam5eff 0 too busy to expla9 to me :at our plans 71 or :at 0 go+ to happ5 next1 or maybe he =got t ,i c\ld n und]/&4 ,he 0 too surr\nd$ = me to be able to ask him any que/ions1 s ,i j look$ vague1 wait$ ab\t & foll[$1 rely+ on my eyes to convey ! explanations t my e>s 7 d5i$4 ,kam5eff 0 ! c5tre ( p]petual discussions 9 :i* ev]yone spoke at ! same mom5t1 v quickly & v l\d4 ,at fir/ ,i suspect$ a mo/ agitat+ ,/ate ,c\ncil1 b x turn$ out to be m]ely a discussion z to :]e we %\ld h supp]4 ,f9ally x 0 decid$ t we %\ld g to ! ap>tm5t 9 an hotel :]e ! wife ( a ,comrade w\ld look aft] u4 ,(f we w5t on foot ov] cobble/ones4 ,! /reets 7 full ( p :o mov$ l %ad[s1 & "o c\ld only see faces :5 !y pass$ ! gl>e ( a light$ doorway4 ,we foll[$ along 9 c\ples4 ,at my side 0 ,alex&re ,kam5eff1 a nice boy & fri5dly1 b he c\ld only talk ,russian4 ,we got to ! hotel 7su* an hotel1 m l a wayside inn74 ,we 7 tak5 to ! ,comrade's ap>tm5t1 :]e 8 wife receiv$ u ) great cordiality & talk$ to me 9 good ,fr5*4 ,!re 0 a samov>1 & we _h excell5t tea ) lemon 9 x1 & "s cold smok$ salmon on ?ick slices ( butt]$ bread4 ,kam5eff & ! two ,comrades 7 too absorb$ 9 _! discussion to eat any?+4 ,"o ,comrade 0 tell+ some?+1 ,kam5eff took notes1 & our ho/1 a small n]v\s man1 roll$ bread pellets4 ,madame1 9 an ev5 voice1 pli$ me ) que/ions3 8,:5 did y leave ,london80 8,h[ long did y take f ,/ockholm to ,reval8 ,oh1 de>1 a day & a half late6 ,we h no news "h1 tell me "s40 8,is ,comrade ,kam5eff really *ass f ,engl&80 8,is x true t ,krass9 w soon foll[80 8,:at pretty hair y h1 mademoiselle4 ,is x naturally t col\r8 ,does x curl naturally s80 8,is !re a fam9e 9 ,engl&8 ,i he> !re is no long] sug> or butt]8 ,b !re w be a fam9e :5 y\r /rike beg9s80 8,:at1 y h n a mac9to% ) y80 8,nor an umbrella80 8,nor ?ick] %oes ?an t80 8,b d y n "k !re is no?+ to be _h 9 ,russia80 8,y h golo%es8 ,t is good40 8,& soap8 ,yes1 !y w d y\r wa%+ if y give !m soap to d x )----0 ,kam5eff left u to att5d a meet+ else:]e4 ,x 0 n[ pretty late1 & ,i 0 tir$2 ! room 0 small1 & full ( smoke & food4 ,:5 ,i _h f9i%$ my tea1 ,alex&re ,kam5eff & ! soldi] :o _h n left u s9ce our arrival1 took me back to ! headqu>t]s4 ,i did n "k :at 0 to become ( me1 & no "o und]/ood me4 ,! dimly-lit corridors 7 cr[d$ ) /range l\ng]s4 ,i 0 %[n into a grim room :]e portraits ( ,l59 & ,trotsky adorn$ ! walls1 & !re ,i sat sil5tly among p ,i c\ld n talk )4 ,aft] a:ile1 to my int5se relief1 ,kam5eff appe>$4 ,9 ?is /range milieu 9 :i* ,i 0 s utt]ly lo/1 ,kam5eff seem$ to me ! olde/ & ! only fri5d ,i _h 9 ! _w1 & ,i metaphorically clung to him z a dr[n+ man to a /raw4 ,somebody 9 ! cr[d1 tak+ pity on my helplessness1 or else wond]+ :at ,i 0 ask+ = 9 ?ree unkn[n languages1 _h s5t him to me4 ,he ask$ :at on e>? ,i 0 do+ !re4 ,z if ,i knew6 ,i foll[$ him to ano!r room1 bigg] & full] ( p1 :o all look$ v s]i\s & sat 9 a circle4 ,! meet+ w5t on1 & ,i sat obscurely 9 a corn] wond]+ :e!r1 if ,i und]/ood ,russian1 ,i %\ld be all[$ to be !re4 ,at la/1 bor$ by wat*+ !m & le>n+ no?+ f x1 ,i got out a p5cil & pap] f ! h&-case ,i _h ) me & wrote a lett] to ,dick4 ,x 0 ! la/ place f :i* ,i c\ld po/ a lett] & ! la/ "t ,i c\ld write lett]s unc5sor$4 ,i wrote to ,dick f my he>t1 ?9k+ ( him at t mom5t 9 b$1 s v f> away1 look+ s r\nd & p9k1 & ) "o arm outside ! b$clo!s4 ,9 _s ,i 0 kneel+ by 8 b$side & kiss+ ! little b>e arm4 ,dick & ,m>g>et bo? "k t :5 ,i am away f !m ,i come 9 _s 9 ! night1 & !y (t5 f9d a rose petal or a bud1 or maybe a t9y fea!r1 some?+ v light1 t ,i leave on ! pill[ to prove t ,i h be54 ,nev] _h ,i be5 m ) !m 9 _s ?an ?is night1 :5 ,i felt s lonely & bewild]$4 ,lat] on ,i wrote an apology to ,f4 ,e41 expla9+ :y ,i _h n turn$ up at ,*>lton to d 8 bu/4 ,x 0 "o ( ! ?+s t ,i felt r badly ab\t1 = ,i _h left ,engl& ! v day t ,i 0 due at ! ,birk5heads'4 ,i c\ld n at t "t expla91 & !y mu/ h ?\ght me s v rude4 ,x is funny t none ( ^! p1 n ev5 ,kam5eff h he>d ( ,f4 ,e41 ei!r z ,smi?1 ,"l ,birk5head1 or ,"l ,*ancellor4 ,*ancellor ( ! ,ex*equ] !y und]/&1 b no o!r ,*ancellor4 ,:5 at la/ ! meet+ 0 ov]1 ,i 0 introduc$ to ,gukovski1 & ga!r$ t we 7 9 8 room4 ,he is a little b5t man1 :o broke 8 back "s "t pa/ 9 a motor accid5t4 ,he has r$ hair & be>d1 & small n>r[ eyes t look at "o ) close scrut9y1 & give "o a %iv]y feel+4 ,he ask$ me :at my mission 01 & :5 ,i _h told him he said3 8,d y ?9k t y are go+ to get ,l59 to sit to y80 ,i did ?9k s1 & 8 eyes tw9kl$ ) m]rim5t4 8,well y won't60 he said & *uckl$4 ,kam5eff w5t (f to conv]se on ! telephone ) ,t*i*]9 at ,mosc[1 & did n come back4 ,i wait$ & wait$1 & ,gukovski began pack+ a trunk2 he 0 evid5tly com+ ) u4 ,i wat*$ him1 a man's pack+ is always a r int]e/+ & pa!tic sight1 b ev5 t ceas$ to int]e/ me aft] a:ile1 & ,i became consci\s ( a feel+ bord]+ on te>s & sleep4 ,:]e on e>? 0 ,kam5eff1 & :y didn't he come back1 or else expla9 to me h[ long ?is wait+ 0 to g on4 ,aft] a:ile ,i discov]$ t ,gukovski's secret>y1 a "y man call$ ,gai1 c\ld speak p]fectly good ,engli%4 ,f him ,i le>nt t our tra9 0 leav+ 8ab\t midnight0 = ,mosc[1 & t ,i c\ld g to x any "t ,i lik$ & f9d my sleep]4 ,i ought to h kn[n ?is long be=e z x 0 already ne>ly midnight4 ,i made ,alex&re ,kam5eff & ! soldi] take me to ! /ation imm$iately4 ,( c\rse :5 ,i got !re ! tra9 0 n[h]e to be f\nd--x 0 9 a sid+--& ,i sat d[n on a /one /ep & wait$1 ?ankful at lea/ = ! fre% air & ! abs5ce ( gl>+ lights4 ,:5 our 8wagon-de-luxe0 f9ally ,illu/ration3 ,,bridge ,,bl[n ,,up ,,by ,,yud5it*4 p4 #fa4 appe>$ x 0 ! be/ t ,i h ev] se54 ,x _h be5 ! ,special ( ! ,m9i/] = ,railways1 & 0 v spaci\s & com=table4 ,z soon z ,kam5eff1 ,gukovski & 8 little girl jo9$ u1 ! tra9 />t$ & we _h a midnight supp] ( tea & cavi>e4 ,,septemb] #ai,,?4 ,all night we h j\rney$1 & all day4 ,x is n[ ev5+4 ,our special tra9 has /opp$ at a wayside /ation = ?ree h\rs to await ! ,petrograd tra91 on to :i* we %all l9k = ,mosc[4 ,!n we %all travel aga9 all night & arrive at our de/9ation to-morr[ morn+4 ,x has be5 a beautiful day ( sun%9e4 ,i cross$ ! fronti] rid+ on ! eng9e4 ,! front ( our c> has a v]&ah f :i* "o c get a beautiful view4 ,we cross$ two wide riv]s on tempor>y bridges1 z ! orig9al ones lay 9 dbris bel[ u1 hav+ be5 bl[n up by ,yud5it* 9 8 retreat la/ ye> aft] 8 attack on ,petrograd4 ,! woods on ei!r side ( ! riv] 7 full ( tr5*es1 dug-outs & b>b$ wire4 ,i _h tea & bread & cavi>e at #i a4m4 & ! same ?+ at #c p4m4 & aga9 at #g4 ,!re is no re/aurant c>2 we h br\ght our food ) u 9 a hamp]4 ,!re are o!r ?+s to eat besides cavi>e1 only ,i _c eat !m4 ,!re is *eese1 & "s ham :i* is n l any ham t ,i h ev] kn[n1 & !re is a sort ( s*nitzel sausage & "s apples4 ,! soldi] :o 0 ) u ye/]day & is /ill ) u1 & ^: "n is ,m>9a%ky1 is a *auffeur4 ,i ?\ght he 0 an (fic]4 ,he eats ) u1 smokes ) u1 jo9s 9 ! discussions & k9dly lays ! table = food & cle>s away = u4 ,x s\nds odd1 b x seem$ q natural until ,i he>d t he 0 a *auffeur4 ,my b\rgeois br++-up is con/antly hav+ surprises6 ,m>9a%ky has a nice cle>-cut face1 & squ>e jaw l ! ,am]icans "o saw dur+ ! w>4 ,?is aft]noon we got out ( ! tra9 & walk$ up ! l9e1 z !re 7 ?ree h\rs to dispose (4 ,i l$ ! way because !re 0 a wood ,i want$ to g to4 ,x 0 extremely pretty1 & ! moss sank b5ea? "o's feet4 ,! *ildr5 collect$ b]ries & sc>let mu%rooms1 :i* !y br\ght to me z (f]+s4 ,on ! way back ,kam5eff & 8 boy & ,i f\nd a dry place cov]$ ) p9e ne$les1 :]e we lay d[n1 & to ! s\nd ( fa!r & son talk+ s(tly 9 ,russian ,i w5t fa/ asleep4 ,! sun 0 sett+ :5 !y woke me up4 ,9 ! he>t ( ,russia1 9 ! company ( ,bol%eviks1 ,i _h sp5t an ,arcadian h\r4 ,illu/ration3 ,,gukovski1 ,,8 ,,daught]1 ,,kam5eff ,,& ,,m>9a%ky4 p4 #fb4 ,,septemb] #bj,,?4 ,mosc[1 ,! ,kreml94 ,ye/]day ev5+ aft] we _h />t$1 ,kam5eff left u to g & talk to ,z9oviev :o 0 on ! ,petrograd tra91 travell+ also to ,mosc[4 ,z9oviev is ,presid5t ( ! ,petrograd ,soviet 7& also ( ! ,?ird ,int]national74 ,i did n see ,kam5eff aga9 t ev5+1 b at #b a4m4 he knock$ at my door & awak5$ me ) _m apologies to tell me news he ?\ght ,i %\ld l to he>4 ,z9oviev _h j told him t ! telegram ann\nc+ 8 arrival ) me came 9 ! middle ( a ,soviet ,conf]5ce4 ,x caus$ a good deal ( amusem5t1 b ,l59 said t :atev] "o felt ab\t x !re 0 no?+ to d b to give me "s sitt+s z ,i _h come s f> = ! purpose4 8,s ,l59 has cons5t$ & ,i ?\ght x 0 wor? :ile to wake y up to tell y t40 ,kam5eff 0 9 great spirits2 ,z9oviev _h evid5tly told him ?+s he 0 glad to he>1 especially1 ,i ga!r$1 t no blame or c5sure 0 go+ to be put ^u him = hav+ fail$ 9 8 mission to ,engl&4 ,we rea*$ ,mosc[ at #aj4cj a4m4 & ,i wait$ 9 ! tra9 s t ,kam5eff & 8 wife c\ld get _! t5d] greet+s ov] )\t my pres5ce4 ,i wat*$ !m ?r\gh ! w9d[3 ! greet+ on "o side1 h[ev]1 0 n app>5t 9 its t5d]ness4 ,i wait$ & !y walk$ up ! plat=m talk+ ) animation4 ,f9ally ,mrs4 ,kam5eff came into ! comp>tm5t & %ook h&s ) me4 ,mrs4 ,philip ,sn[d5 9 h] book has describ$ h] z 8an amiable little lady40 ,%e has small br[n eyes & ?9 lips4 ,%e look$ at ! rema9s ( our breakfa/ on ! saloon table & said qu]ul\sly1 8,we don't live *ic l t 9 ,mosc[40 ,goodness1 ,i ?\ght1 n ev5 l t6 ,!re 0 m discussion 9 ,russian betwe5 ! two1 & my expressionless face wat*$ !m4 ,i h become reconcil$ to n be+ unable to und]/&4 ,z we left ! tra9 %e said to me3 8,leo ,kam5eff has q =gott5 ab\t ,russia1 ! p "h w say he is a b\rgeois40 ,leo ,kam5eff spat ^u ! plat=m 9 ! mo/ plebeian way1 ,i suppose to disprove ?is4 ,x 0 extremely unlike him4 ,we pil$ into a beautiful op5 ,rolls-,royce c> & 7 driv5 at full spe$ ) a great deal ( hoot+ ?r\gh /reets t 7 %utt]$ z aft] an air raid4 ,mrs4 ,kam5eff said to me3 8,x is dirty1 our ,mosc[1 isn't x80 ,well1 yes1 "o c\ld n v well say t x 0 n4 ,we came to ! ,kreml94 ,x is high up & dom9ates ,mosc[ & consi/s ( ! ma9 ,illu/ration3 ,,m>9a%ky ,,& ,,! ,,m9i/]ial ,,rolls-,,royce4 p4 #fd4 palace1 "s o!r palaces1 conv5ts1 mona/]ies1 & *ur*es encircl$ by a wall & t[]s4 ,! sun 0 %9+ :5 we arriv$ & all ! gold domes 7 glitt]+ 9 ! light4 ,ev]y:]e "o look$ !re 7 domes & t[]s4 ,we drove up to a side entrance "u an ar*way1 & !n made our way1 a solemn procession1 c>ry+ luggage up endless /one /airs & along /one corridors to ! ,kam5eff ap>tm5ts4 ,a little peasant maid ) a yell[ h&k]*ief ti$ ov] h] head ran out to greet u1 & kiss$ ,kam5eff on ! m\?4 ,!n ensu$ ! awkw>d mom5t ( be+ %[n to no room4 ,aft] elev5 days travell+ "o felt a long+ = peace1 & to be able to unpack1 in/ead ( :i* ! ,russian discussion 0 resum$1 & ,i sat /upidly /ill ) no?+ to say4 ,= breakfa/ ,i 0 giv5 c(fee & an ov]-help+ ( dry tepid rice4 ,:5 = a mom5t ,i f\nd myself alone ) ,kam5eff ,i ask$ him :at 0 to become ( me & begg$ him to s5d me to an hotel4 ,b !re are no hotels2 ev]y?+ belongs to ! ,gov]nm5t4 ,!re are h[ev]1 gue/-h\ses1 b he 0 av]se to my go+ to "o1 z he said t ,i %\ld be lonely & /range4 ,he told me to leave ! matt] entirely to him & he w\ld decide 9 two h\rs4 ,mean:ile ,i w5t = a walk 9 ! ,kreml9 gr\nds ) ,alex&re & took a lot ( photographs4 ,! beauty ( x all 0 a wond]m5t1 & ,i 0 q happy n to g outside ! walls1 :i* ,i c\ld n d z ,i _h no pass4 ,!n ,i came back & wait$ & wait$ = ,kam5eff to come & tell me :]e ,i 0 to g4 ,z ! day pass$ by ,i felt m & m lonely4 ,= lack ( ano!r book ,i read de ,maupassant's 8,yvette10 b hat$ x1 & ?ank$ ,god t ,bol%evism _h at lea/ wip$ out t vile _w ( idle m54 ,at sunset ,i sat on ! l$ge ( ! op5 w9d[1 & li/5$ to ! bells t 7 r++ f all ! domes 9 ,mosc[4 ,bel[ me 0 an av5ue ( trees t rea*$ up to me ) autumn col\rs4 ,i ?\ght ( ,dick & t to-day is 8 bir?day4 ,i knew he mu/ be ask+1 8,:]e is #8,meema'2 :y doesn't %e come8 ,h[ long w %e be80 ,:5 x 0 d>k ,i 0 /ill look+ out1 & ,anna ,anrevna1 ! little maid1 came 9 s(tly 9 h] /r+ sol$ %oes & put h] arms r\nd me4 ,%e told me 9 brok5 ,g]man t ,i mu/ n traurig se94 ,kam5eff came 9 at half-pa/ t51 he 0 v tir$ & preclud$ all fur!r discussion by say+ t x 0 too late to g any:]e else1 & t ,i mu/ /ay = ! night4 ,mrs4 ,illu/ration3 ,,! ,,kreml91 ,,%[+ ,,entrance ,,to ,,! ,,kam5effs' ,,ap>tm5ts4 p4 #fe4 ,kam5eff came 9 f h] "w a little lat]4 ,%e sank into a *air & drew h] h& across h] br[ 9 ! mo/ approv$ way to betok5 physical exhau/ion4 ,i 0 giv5 ,alex&re's room1 ?r\gh :i* !y h to pass to get to _!'s1 & ,i h to pass ?r\gh _!'s to get to ! wa%-room1 z !re is no wa%/& 9 my b$room4 ,i suppose ,alex&re slept on a s(a4 ,kam5eff w5t back to 8 ,soviet meet+ at elev51 & ,i he>d him pass ?r\gh my room :5 he came home at #d a4m4 ,,septemb] #ba,,/4 ,i awak5$1 feel+ mu* bett]4 ,! sun%9e 0 too wond]ful4 ,bo? ! ,kam5effs w5t (f to _! respective "w1 %e at #aj1 & he at #aa4 ,i w5t out into ! ,kreml9 gr\nds ) ,alex&re1 & :ile he play$ football ) ,s]ge ,trotsky ,i sat among ! columns ( ! ,alex&] ,memorial & indulg$ 9 a kaleidoscope ( ?\ght4 ,s]ge is ! twelve ye> old son ( ,trotsky1 & is a f9e little boy ) a broad *e/ & a /raight back4 ,he looks l ! heir to a ?rone 9 ! guise ( a peasant4 ,at #a o'clock a c\s9 ( ,leo ,kam5eff's :o c speak ,fr5* & ,engli% came to fet* me4 ,outside ! ,kreml9 gate an old man1 :o look$ l a peasant1 /opp$ me & ask$ 9 ,engli% if ,i 7 ,sylvia ,pankhur/4 ,he>+ ,i 0 n he ask$3 8,b y are ,engli% & ,i hope a good ,communi/80 ,i did n answ]1 ,i j press$ 8 h&4 ,we w5t to ! ,muse ,alex&re ,,iii1 ! g>d5 ( :i* is /rewn ) l>ge bronze eagles ?r[n d[n f ! p$im5t4 ,!y are v emblematic ( ! mighty :o are fall54 ,! ,museum conta9s replicas ( classics ( :i* ! orig9als are 9 _m cases 9 ! ,briti% ,museum4 ,b ! arrangem5t & ! backgr\nds are s good1 t x gives "o m pleasure to look at ! ,greek & ,assyrian replicas "h ?an to see ! orig9als 9 ,london4 ,a s*ool ( boys & girls1 extremely well f$ & well dress$1 0 be+ %[n r\nd1 & !re 0 also a magnific5t old peasant ) long hair & aquil9e nose1 :o told u t he want$ be=e he di$ to see :at a museum 0 l4 ,bo? he & ! s*oolma/] ask$ u if we c\ld expla9 ?+s to !m z !re 7 no guides4 ,ev5 _h ,i be5 able to speak ! language1 ,i %\ld h be5 at a loss to expla9 ! ,p>!non ,temple :i* we 7 fac+ at t mom5t4 ,! *ildr5 probably1 & ! peasant surely1 _h nev] he>d ( ! ,p>!non1 nor ( ,greek my?ology2 :]e w\ld "o beg98 ,"o c\ld only h said3 8,isn't x beautiful1 don't y see h[ beautiful x is80 & hope t !y did see x4 ,s9ce ,i he>d a guide expla9+ ,rod9 at ,s\? ,k5s+ton to ,au/ralian soldi]s1 ,i h felt sure t ,art c be felt1 b n expla9$4 ,9 ! end we procur$ a guidebook & s5t ! old peasant (f ) ! *ildr5's s*ool1 & left ! ma/] to d 8 be/4 ,:5 ,i got back x 0 to f9d no "o at home4 ,i ate "s food1 z ,i 0 hungry1 & conclud$ t ,i 0 /ill to be a gue/ at ! ,kreml94 ,late 9 ! aft]noon ,i f\nd my way alone ?r\gh ! maze ( corridors & /aircases1 out into ! gr\nds alone4 ,i w&]$ ab\t1 /ill hypnotis$ by ! beauty ( ! sun-reflect+ domes1 & by ! dead /illness :i* seem$ to prote/ f ! ,royal /ones4 ,ov] ! ,ts>'s palace cr[s peck$ at ! flag/aff :]e once ! ,royal ,/&>d _h fl[n4 ,!re is a clock 9 a t[] at ! ,kreml9 ,gate & x has a compla9+ & depress+ *ime4 ,x compla9s once at ! qu>t]1 f\r times at ! h\r4 ,x seem$ to say1 8,my p are gone6 & ,i am sad1 & ,i am sad40 ,x d\btless compla9$ :5 ,napoleon took possession1 & aga9 9 ,ts>i/ days1 & probably w always lam5t2 "s p are nev] satisfi$4 ,i h a sort ( feel+ t ,i am /ay+ at ,v]sailles j aft] ,l\is ,,xvi4 ,my emotions & impressions are too deep1 too _m1 & too bewild]+ to be measur$ 9 words4 ,9 ! ev5+ ,alex&re took me to a play at ! ,?tre des ,arts4 ,a big !atre & well fill$4 ,! piece 0 v well /ag$4 ,! play1 :i* is adapt$ f an old ,poli% leg5d call$ 8,corrod9e10 0 well act$1 s t )\t und]/&+ a ^w ,i ga!r$ "s ( ! s5se4 ,9 front ( u sat ,madame ,z9oviev ) a ,comrade & ,i 0 glad :5 !y talk$ to me 9 ,fr5*4 ,x 0 n until aft]w>ds t ,i le>nt :o %e 01 mu* to my amusem5t1 rememb]+ t ,i _h told h] my err&1 & t ,z9oviev 0 among ! heads promis$ to me4 ,%e ask$ me if ,i w\ld n h to g to ,petrograd to d him1 b ,i said t ,i ?\ght n1 z he 0 9 ,mosc[ at ! mom5t1 & t if ,i c\ld only f9d a place to "w 91 he w\ld sit to me at once4 ,i wond]$ :y %e laugh$4 ,,septemb] #bb,,nd4 ,mosc[1 ,! ,gue/ ,h\se4 ,mrs4 ,kam5eff w5t to h] "w z usual at #aj a4m4 ,at breakfa/ half an h\r lat] ,leo ,borisvit*1 z he is call$1 promis$ n to d any "w or keep any engagem5t until he _h tak5 me to my new headqu>t]s 9 a ,illu/ration3 ,,big ,,bell1 ,,kreml94 ,illu/ration3 ,,colonnades ,,( ,,! ,,alex&] ,,memorial4 p4 #fg4 gue/-h\se4 ,we 7 delay$ 9 />t+ by ,john ,re$1 ! ,am]ican ,communi/1 :o came to see him on "s bus9ess4 ,he is a well-built good-look+ "y man1 :o has giv5 up ev]y?+ at home to ?r[ 8 he>t & life into "w "h4 ,i und]/& ! ,russian _s1 b :at /range =ce impels an app>5tly normal "y man f ! ,unit$ ,/ates8 ,!re also arriv$ to waylay u a pa9t] call$ ,ros5feld1 :o wore canvas %oes l a peasant1 & kiss$ ,kam5eff on 8 arrival4 ,he (f]$ to %[ me museums & ?+s1 b our only m$ium 0 ,g]man1 & 8 0 a good deal worse ?an m9e1 :i* 0 a great drawback4 ,at midday1 h[ev]1 we broke free1 & />t$ (f ) my luggage4 ,i bade f>ewell to ! ,kreml91 & we drove across ! riv] to a gue/-h\se on ! opposite bank fac+ ! ,ts>'s ,palace4 ,! gue/ h\se is ! requisition$ h\se ( a sug> k+4 ,x is inhabit$ by v>i\s ,=eign ,(fice (ficials1 also by ,mr4 ,ro?/e9 & an ,am]ican f9anci]1 ,mr4 ,w4 ,b4 ,v&]lip4 ,a beautiful b$room & dress+-room are m9e1 ) walls ( gre5 damask4 ,x looks m l a draw+-room ?an a b$room4 ,! h\se is m or less exactly z ! sug> k+ left x1 full ( a mixture ( good & bad ?+s4 ,x is p>tly mod]n ,go?ic & p>tly ,g]man ,l\is ,,xvi4 ,! ceil+ ( "o ( ! big rooms is pa9t$ by ,flam5g1 b ! be/ pictures 7!re 7 "s ,corots7 h be5 tak5 to a museum4 ,"o is extremely grateful = its com=t & hospitality1 ev5 if its ta/e 9 decoration is n ( ! be/4 ,moreov]1 "o c enjoy x ligh!>t$ly1 = ! exil$ sug> k+1 x is rum\r$1 _h o!r palaces abroad1 & nev] came to ,mosc[ except = a few weeks 9 ! ye>4 ,he also has money inve/$ abroad & is n 9 want1 & c well sp>e 8 ,mosc[ palace = s good a purpose4 ,8 old mans]vant waits ^u u1 & takes ! t5d]e/ c>e ( ! h\se 9 ! belief t ! old rgime w return1 br++ ! own]s ( ! h\se ) x4 ,he says op5ly t he is n a ,bol%evik1 & takes mu* pride 9 *ang+ our plates a great _m times1 & mak+ ! mo/ ( our humble f>e4 ,he insi/s t s f> z x dep5ds ^u him we %all behave l p]fect ladies & g5tlem5 & be treat$ z su*4 ,i /ay$ at home all day unpack+ at la/1 & settl+ d[n into my tempor>y home4 ,kam5eff promis$ to come back 9 ! c\rse ( ! day1 b he didn't4 ,he telephon$ h[ev]1 & arrang$ t ,i %\ld be tak5 to ! ,ballet ) ! p>ty f ?is h\se4 ,we sat 9 ! ,=eign ,(fice box4 ,! ballet 0 8,coppelia10 beautifully produc$1 & ! or*e/ra "o ( ! f9e/ t ,i ev] he>d4 ,! !atre is ! size ( ,cov5t ,g>d51 & is decorat$ ) crimson & gold4 ,!re are boxes all r\nd ! fir/ ti]1 & ! h\se 0 pack$ ?r\gh\t4 ,! audi5ce consi/$ ( work+ p1 :o _h admission free ?r\gh ! di/ribution ( tickets to c]ta9 unions4 ,!y 7 a motley cr[d1 *iefly en bl\se4 ,9 ! ,royal box1 res]v$ = ,commiss>s & _! wives1 !re 0 a man ) a clo? cap4 ,! wom5 7 eat+ apples4 ,9 ! box next to ours !re 0 an old woman ) a %awl ov] h] head4 ,x 0 int5sely mov+ to see ! absorb$ att5tion ( ! audi5ce4 ,p lean$ _! elb[s on ! l$ges ( ! boxes & wat*$ ! ballet ) an almo/ dev\r+ int]e/4 ,!re 0 n a c\gh nor a :isp]4 ,only :5 ,coppelia came to life z ! me*anical doll1 !re 7 delici\s l[ ripples ( controll$ laught] f ! *ildr54 ,at ! ends ( ! acts p left ! /alls to ru%1 n = ! exits to ! foy]1 b to ! front ( ! gangways ne>e/ ! /age to see ! danc]s close to1 & to applaud !m4 ,! p 7 tir$ p1 :o _h work$ all day & _h e>n$ a good ev5+ & 7 enjoy+ x to ! full4 ,my only contretemps 0 ) a little /5ograph] f ! ,=eign ,(fice :o 0 9 our box4 ,%e obs]v$ t ,i _h on ! r$ enamell$ /> ( ,communism1 & t ,i wore :ite gloves4 ,"o1 %e said1 contradict$ ! o!r2 ! :ite gloves 7 b\rgeois4 ,i argu$ t x only matt]$ :at 0 9 my he>t1 & n :at 0 on my h&s4 ,b %e w\ld n be pacifi$1 s ,i remov$ ! gloves4 ,consid]+ t my co/ume 0 a r$ twe$ skirt ) a r$1 wool j]sey & a tight-fitt+ cap1 ,i _h ?\ght t gloves w\ld n make me ov]-dress$4 ,if my ev5+'s pleasure 0 neutralis$ by ! conc5trat$ aroma :i* arose f ! great unwa%$1 x is only fair to obs]ve t !re is no soap 9 ! c\ntry1 & mo/ p h1 = two ye>s or s1 only _h ! "o suit ( clo!s 9 :i* !y /& up4 ,no wond]----6 ,9 ! c> com+ home ,i met ,mr4 ,ro?/e91 :o is liv+ 9 ! same h\se4 ,i wi%$ ,i c\ld recall ! abusive article :i* ,i read ab\t him 9 an ,engli% newspap]1 b all ,i rememb] is t he is n to be readmitt$ to ,engl&4 ,he seems to be an en]getic & =ceful little man4 ,i expect he is pretty clev]4 ,we _h supp] toge!r aft] ! !atre1 & conv]sation ,illu/ration3 ,,s]ge ,,trotsky ,,& ,,alex&re ,,kam5eff4 p4 #fg4 drift$ on to t et]nal com$y1 ! ,nationalisation ( wom54 ,i happ5$ to say t ?is _h done m to h>m ! ,bol%evik cause ?an almo/ any?+1 &1 moreov]1 t q s]i\s p /ill believ$ x4 ,mr4 ,ro?/e9 int]pos$ r %>ply1 8,well1 a little select circle :i* reads ! ,morn+ ,po/ p]haps believes x40 ,is x possible1 ,i wond] t he is "r1 & t ! 8little select circle0 d n c\nt z mu* z ,i h all my life tak5 = grant$ t !y did8 ,,septemb] #bc,,rd4 ,i wa/$ a lot ( "t ?is morn+ try+ to fix ?+s up )\t ! help ( ,kam5eff4 ,z ?+s h turn$ out ,i might h sav$ myself ! tr\ble4 ,john ,re$ told me t ,i nev] w\ld beg9 "w unless ,i arrang$ ev]y?+ = myself1 & dep5d$ on no "o "h4 ,on ! o!r h& ,mr4 ,v&]lip told me to keep calm1 z 8 exp]i5ce 0 t ev]y?+ came 9 "t4 ,?or\ghly impati5t h[ev]1 ,i got hold ( ,mr4 ,ros5feld :o arriv$ simultane\sly ) ,alex&re ,kam5eff & a motor4 ,ros5feld took me /udio hunt+4 ,! ,art ,s*ools seem$ to be v f> away f ! p>ts ( ,mosc[ t are famili> to me1 & al?\gh ev]yone 0 will+ to help1 !re seem$ to be little accommodation available4 ,9 ! ,academia1 :i* ,i believe is only j re-op5+1 !y (f]$ me a place to "w 9--a gall]y :i* obvi\sly 0 n suitable4 ,we w5t on to ! ,/rogon(f ,s*ool1 :]e ,mr4 ,kon5k(f1 "o ( _! mo/ di/+ui%$ sculptors1 (f]$ me ( 8 be/4 ,x 0 l an empty kit*5 look+ into a bleak c\rty>d4 ,! two /ud5ts :o foll[$ u r\nd 7 n v sympa!tic4 ,no d\bt !y ?\ght x presumptu\s ( me to come to ,russia & expect to model ,l596 ,!y c]ta9ly did n seem to ?9k he w\ld sit to me4 ,kam5eff _h w>n$ me t mo/ ( ! arti/s ,i %\ld meet w\ld n be ,bol%eviks1 s t probably ! /ud5ts ,i met 7 n1 b ?\ght t ,i 04 ,"o ( !m1 a girl & m fri5dly ?an ! re/1 said to me 9 ,fr5*3 8,if y are a fri5d ( ^? 9 p[] ,i suppose y w get "s food2 we are expect$ to "w "h all day f #i 9 ! morn+ till #f at night )\t any40 ,i ask$ :y %e did n br+ h] food ) h]1 & receiv$ "s jumbl$ explanation ab\t rations & di/ribution & ,/ate ,control & no %ops1 :i* 0 s bewild]+ t ,i avoid$ fur!r discussion4 ,x 0 obvi\s t ,i did n und]/& ! ,illu/ration3 ,,bronze ,,eagle ,,at ,,! ,,mus,e ,,alex&re ,,iii4 p4 #fh4 condition ( ?+s1 & t ,i look$ r /upid 9 consequ5ce4 ,ano!r "o said to me3 8,madame1 we are wait+ = deliv]ance4 ,= two ye>s we h wait$4 ,we d n "k h[ x is to come1 b we j hope t "s morn+ we may wake up to f9d ! nightm>e ov]40 ,i said feebly t !re _h be5 six ye>s ( w>1 & a blockade1 b ,i felt x 0 no bus9ess ( m9e to put up a def5ce = _! sy/em4 ,i came home ?or\ghly depress$ & di%e>t5$1 hav+ accompli%$ no?+4 ,at #aj p4m4 ,i 0 sitt+ 9 ! gild$ draw+-room ) ,mr4 ,v&]lip :5 ! telephone rang3 x 0 ,kam5eff4 ,he ann\nc$ t he _h a room = me at ! ,kreml9 & t ,i mu/ "w !re because all ! p ,i _h to model 7 !re1 & t x 0 ! only way to get !m z !y 7 v busy4 ,he promis$ to s5d someone = me 9 ! morn+ to take me !re4 ,he ask$ if ,i 7 lonely1 res5tful1 or bor$1 & plead$ 8 inability to get to me ow+ to /ress ( "w4 ,he begg$ me to be pati5t & good1 & promis$ t all w\ld come "r4 ,i w5t to b$ feel+ really bett]4 ,,septemb] #bd,,?4 ,madame ,kam5eff's secret>y fet*$ me at #aj a4m4 & we f\nd a ,comrade wait+ = u at ! ,kreml9 gateway4 ,he 0 a pa9t]1 "y & be>d$1 :o c\ld speak only ,russian4 ,we got our passes to get into ! big r\nd build+ :i* us$ to be ! ,c\rts ( ,ju/ice1 & :]e ! conf]5ces are n[ held4 ,x is ! *ief build+1 & ! ,r$ flag flies above x4 ,once inside we walk$ = ev] z x seem$1 along /one corridors full ( busy p4 ,we w5t to ! room ( ,comrade ,una*ides1 "o ( ! mo/ magnific5t m5 t ,i h ev] se51 a real ,me/rovic type1 /rong features & bu%y r$ hair4 ,un=tunately he also c\ld only speak ,russian4 ,he %[$ me ! room :i* is plac$ at my disposal4 ,x is big & ne>ly empty1 semi-circul> 9 %ape1 ) b>e :ite-wa%$ walls4 ,9 "o corn] a =midable iron door ) r\nd peep-holes 9 x leads into a small cell :i* conta9s a safe4 ,! safe is seal$ up ) ,soviet seals4 ,! cell1 ,i 0 told1 0 a disus$ prison4 ,?is probably acc\nt$ = ! atmosph]e ( depression & grimness :i* p]si/$ 9 spite ( ! sunlight :i* 9 ! aft]noon flood$ my ?ree big w9d[s4 ,opposite1 across ! c\rty>d1 is ! ,ars5al1 & all along ! ,ars5al walls are rang$ ! masses ( cannon ) _! 8,n0 surr\nd$ by ! laurel wrea?1 :i* leaves "o 9 no d\bt z to _! orig94 ,illu/ration3 ,,big ,,gun ,,at ,,! ,,kreml94 ,:ile ,i 0 look+ r\nd1 ,kam5eff turn$ up2 he told me to make a li/ ( my requirem5ts1 & !n c>ri$ me (f 9 a c> & 0 able to /ay ) me until #b o'clock4 ,^! mom5ts toge!r snat*$ 9 betwe5 "w are s r>e t "o almo/ values !m4 ,he told me ,i 0 to g to a meet+ at ! !atre 9 ! ev5+1 & promis$ t ,i %\ld be 9 a box ne> ! /age s t ,i c\ld see well4 ,he 0 to address ! meet+ on ! subject ( 8 visit to ,engl&4 ,! p>ty f our h\se 7 late 9 />t+4 ,we got to ! !atre aft] ! meet+ _h begun1 & 7 put 9 ! ,ts>'s box4 ,?is 0 already cramm$ full to ov]fl[+1 & all ! *airs 7 occupi$ by ,turks1 ,*9ese & ,p]sians4 ,no "o attempt$ to (f] me a place4 ,mr4 ,v&]lip & ,i /ood = "s "t1 :ile p mov$ 9 & out & ,turks & ,p]sians 7,i %all nev] want to smell g]anium aga97 pu%$ u ab\t 9 _! impati5t ef=ts to get pa/ or ov] u4 ,all my ,briti% blood 0 boil+1 & ,i realis$ t = ! "t be+1 at all ev5ts1 ,i c\ld n reg>d ! ,turks & ,p]sians & ,*9ese z my bro!rs4 ,aft] a:ile ,mr4 ,v&]lip & ,i 7 mov$ to ! /age box4 ,?is too 0 full1 b n ( ! same k9d ( p4 ,anyway1 x 0 ne>]1 & "o got a bett] view4 ,cl>a ,zetk91 ! ,g]man ,sociali/1 0 speak+1 spitt+ =? v5om1 z x s\nd$4 ,! ,g]man language is n beautiful1 & ! f]oci\s old s\l1 mopp+ h] pla9 face ) a l>ge h&k]*ief1 0 n inspir+4 ,x s\nd$ v hy/]ical & ,i only und]/ood an outl9e ( :at %e 0 say+4 ,!n ,trotsky got up1 & translat$ h] spee* into ,russian4 ,he int]e/$ me v mu*4 ,he is a man ) a slim1 good figure1 spl5did fight+ c\nt5ance1 & 8 :ole p]sonality is full ( =ce4 ,i look =w>d imm5sely to do+ 8 head4 ,!re is some?+ t ought to l5d itself to a f9e piece ( "w4 ,! ov]cr[d$ h\se 0 z /ill z if x 7 empty1 ev]yone 0 att5tive & conc5trat$4 ,aft] ,trotsky ,mme4 ,kolontai spoke4 ,%e has %ort d>k hair4 ,p]haps %e spoke well1 b ( t ,i c\ld n judge4 ,tir$ ( /&+ & ( n und]/&+ ,i left ! !atre at ! mom5t :5 a great _m repetitions ( ,*ur*ill's & ,lloyd ,george's names 7 rock+ ! h\se ) laught]4 ,,septemb] #be,,?4 ,i feel v disc\rag$4 ,ev]yone ,i meet asks me :at ,i h come to ,mosc[ =4 ,!y assure me t !re is no *ance ( modell+ ,l591 & /ill less ( do+ ,dzhirj9sky1 :o is a ,illu/ration3 ,,ro?/e91 ,,%[+ ,,! ,,kreml9 ,,9 ,,! ,,backgr\nd4 p4 #ga4 recluse4 ,nev]!less1 ,i h sp5t ! day gett+ ev]y?+ 9 ord]4 ,sackfuls ( bone-dry clay h be5 deliv]$ at my door4 ,five m5 & "o girl /ood in]t & wat*$ me break x up ) a cr[-b>4 ,f9ally ,i 0 able to s5d !m all away except "o1 a really intellig5t c>p5t]1 :o1 in/ead ( try+ to talk to me1 wat*$ me & und]/ood :at ,i want$4 ,he 0 spl5did1 made ?ree armatures = me1 & !n beat & /irr$ ! clay = ?ree h\rs until x 0 9 condition4 ,:5 ,kam5eff look$ 91 br++ ,z9oviev1 ,i 0 up to my elb[s 9 clay1 my clo!s 7 cov]$1 & my hair 0 /&+ on end4 ,z9oviev laugh$1 & said x 0 obvi\s t ,i %\ld n be ready = him to sit to me = days1 b ,i assur$ him all w\ld be 9 ord] to-morr[1 & add$ t a man ( ! c>p5t]'s intellig5ce 0 wor?y to be a ,gov]nm5t m9i/]4 ,kam5eff repeat$ ?is to ! c>p5t]1 & !n said to me3 8,"h ev]y?+ is possible40 ,be=e leav+ he gave me a pass into ! ,kreml9 t w la/ until ,decemb]1 s ,i am indep5d5t at la/1 & c g 9 & out alone :5 ,i please4 ,i did n come home until ,i _h built up two heads ready to "w on4 ,i am v tir$ b full ( hope1 rememb]+ t ,i h he>d t ?+s come sl[ly 9 ,russia1 b !y come ev5tually4 ,,septemb] #bf,,?4 ,i w5t to *ur* at ,/4 ,savi\r's1 ! big *ur* beyond ! bridge1 :i* 0 built ) ! private money ( ! ,ts> z a ?anksgiv+ = deliv]ance f ,napoleon4 ,x has five gold domes :i* are a beacon to me :5 ,i am lo/4 ,a s]vice 0 go+ on & we m+l$ ) ! cr[d1 :i* _h an amaz+ prepond]ance ( m54 ,! ri*ness ( ! *ur* ) its gold5 & crimson rob$ prie/s seem$ to ?r[ into relief ! pov]ty ( ! p ) _! faces s full ( sadness4 ,:at absurdly /upid ?+s animate "o's ?\ghts 9 ! mo/ preci\s mom5ts3 = in/ance1 :5 ! prie/ made ! sign ( ! ,cross ) ! ?ree bran*$ c&le/icks 9 ea* h&1 ,i in/9ctively look$ to see if he _h dropp$ c&le-grease on ! c>pet--he _h6 ,:5 ! contribution plate began to circulate ,i wat*$ an old peasant next to me4 ,he drew out 8 pocket-book1 & fumbl$ = a few r\bles4 ,he held five ( ^! l a c>d-h& & f+]$ !m hesitat+ly4 ,x 0 obvi\s t he 0 try+ to make up 8 m9d :e!r he c\ld af=d to "p ) !m all1 or only ) "s ( !m4 ,9 ! end he put !m all into ! plate1 a little act ( sacrifice :i* ,i am sure w n pass unbless$4 ,! *oir s++ )\t accompanim5t 0 ,illu/ration3 ,,sa9t ,,savi\r',s4 p4 #hb4 v beautiful4 ,! masses seem$ to be v f]v5t1 "o c\ld see ,fai? & ,hope 9 all _! faces4 ,x is surely ! deep religi\s feel+ 9 ,russia t has su/a9$ ^! p ?r\gh all _! ye>s ( privation1 & prev5t$ a great] *aos4 ,aft] *ur* we walk$ along1 rejoic+ 9 ! sun1 to ! ,tretiakovskaya ,gall]y1 full ( v>i\s s*ools ( pa9t+4 ,among ! pictures is ! fam\s "o ( ,ivan ! ,t]rible kill+ 8 son1 b ev]y?+ t ,i saw 0 oblit]at$ by ! memory ( ?ree mod]n bu/s1 ! "w ( ,kon5(f1 ! sculptor ,i met at ! ,/rogon(f ,s*ool4 ,^! bu/s are c>v$ out ( blocks ( wood4 ,!y are indescribable ma/]pieces 9 conception1 composition & c>v+4 ,i rema9$ = sometime 9 admiration & wond]m5t ov] ?is mod]n "w1 & !n w5t away1 z ,i c\ld n look at any?+ else4 ,at #c o'clock ,i hurri$ to ! ,kreml91 z ,kam5eff _h telephon$ tell+ me to expect ,z9oviev4 ,i wait$ until f\r & !n he arriv$1 busy1 tir$ & impati5t1 8 ov]coat slung ov] 8 %\ld]s z ?\gh he _h n _h "t to put 8 arms ?r\gh ! sleeves4 ,he flung (f 8 hat & ran 8 f+]s ?r\gh 8 black curly hair1 :i* already 0 /&+ on end4 ,he sat re/lessly look+ up & d[n1 r\nd & out & beyond2 !n he read 8 newspap]1 e n[ & aga9 fla%+ r\nd ) an imp]ative look at me to see h[ ,i 0 gett+ on4 ,he seem$ to me an extraord9>y mix-up ( conflict+ p]sonalities4 ,he has ! eyes & br[ ( ! fight+ man1 & ! m\? ( a petulant woman4 ,little by little he became m tractable1 & :5 he _h f9i%$ read+ we talk$ a little4 ,at mom5ts he ?rew 8 head back & seem$ to be dream+4 ,!n he look$ l a poet4 ,he is only ?irty-eight4 ,x is amaz+ h[ "y all ^! ,revolution>ies are4 ,i glean$ f him ! news t ,mill]& is ! new ,presid5t ( ! ,fr5*1 to :i* he %rugg$ 8 %\ld]s & said t x made no diff]5ce1 & t ! ,briti% /rike fix$ = to-morr[ has be5 po/pon$ = a week4 ,be=e he left he said he 0 pleas$ ) ! />t ( 8 bu/1 & t ,i mu/ d ,l594 ,i walk$ home 9 face ( a lovely sunset2 ! fi]y ball 0 reflect$ 9 ! gold dome ( ,/4 ,savi\r's4 ,i sang z ,i walk$1 because ,i h begun "w at la/1 b p look$ at me1 al?\gh !y _h nev] look$ at me be=e4 ,i suppose x 0 peculi> to he> anyone s+4 ,illu/ration3 ,,bu/ ,,( ,,z9oviev4 p4 #hc4 ,,septemb] #bg,,?4 ,?+s beg9 to move m rapidly n[1 & my pati5ce is be+ rew>d$4 ,to-day ,dzhirj9sky came4 ,he is ! ,presid5t ( ! ,extraord9>y ,commission1 or z we %\ld call x 9 ,engli%1 ! organis] ( ! ,r$ ,t]ror4 ,he is ! man ,kam5eff has told me s mu* ab\t4 ,he sat = an h\r & a half1 q /ill & v sil5t4 ,8 eyes c]ta9ly look$ z if !y 7 ba!d 9 te>s ( et]nal sorr[1 b 8 m\? smil$ an indulg5t k9dness4 ,8 face is n>r[1 ) high *eek bones & sunk 94 ,( all 8 features 8 nose seems to h ! mo/ "*4 ,x is v ref9$1 & ! delicate bloodless no/rils sugge/ ! s5sitiv5ess ( ov]-bre$+4 ,he is a ,pole by orig94 ,z ,i work$ & wat*$ him dur+ t h\r & a half he made a curi\s impression on me4 ,f9ally1 ov]:elm$ by 8 quietude1 ,i exclaim$3 8,y are an angel to sit s /ill40 ,our m$ium 0 ,g]man1 :i* made flu5t conv]sation betwe5 u impossible1 b he answ]$3 8,"o le>ns pati5ce & calm 9 prison40 ,i ask$ h[ long he 0 9 prison4 8,a qu>t] ( my life1 elev5 ye>s10 he answ]$4 ,x 0 ! ,revolution t lib]at$ him4 ,obvi\sly x is n ! ab/ract desire = p[] or = a political c>e] t has made ,revolution>ies ( su* m51 b a fanatical conviction ( ! wrongs to be right$ = ! cause ( humanity & national progress4 ,= ?is cause m5 ( s5sitive intellect h endur$ ye>s ( imprisonm5t4 ,be+ ,monday !re is no !atre1 z t is ! night ! arti/s h free--on ,sundays !y "w = ! enjoym5t ( ! p--s ,i d9$ ) ,mr4 ,v&]lip1 :o told me _m ?+s :i* ,i may n at ?is juncture write d[n or repeat4 ,i h n s\ght 8 confid5ce1 s ,i ?\ght x r unju/ifiable :5 at ! end ( ! ev5+1 hav+ f\nd me a sympa!tic li/5]1 he said3 8,y "k too mu* n[1 ,i %all see t y d n leave ! c\ntry be=e ,i d40 ,al?\gh he likes ! p ) :om he has come 9 bus9ess contact1 he is frankly a capitali/1 & glories 9 x4 ,he is l ! ,engli%man abroad :o is consci\s ( be+ diff]5t to ev]yone else1 & d]ives f x a smug feel+ ( sup]iority4 ,aft] d9n] he 0 s5t = by ,t*i*]91 & ,i sp5t ! ev5+ ) ,mi*ael ,borod94 ,mi*ael ,m>kovit*1 z ,borod9 is call$1 lives 9 our h\se4 ,he is a man ) %aggy black hair bru%$ back f 8 =ehead1 a ,napoleonic be>d1 deep-set eyes1 & a face l a mask4 ,he talks abrupt ,am]ican-,engli% 9 a base voice4 ,i h n se5 mu* ( him z he works half ! day & all ! night1 l ! o!r ,=eign ,(fice (ficials4 ,he is usually late = meals1 eats hurri$ly & leaves be=e we h f9i%$4 ,z soon z ,v&]lip _h gone ,borod9 swit*$ out all ! draw+-room lights t ,v&]lip _h put on1 except "o4 ,i ask$ him :y he did ?is1 & he look$ r\nd ! g>i% room & gave a slight %udd]3 8,x is p>v5u10 he said2 !n s9k+ back into 8 *air he look$ at me int5tly1 & ask$3 8,:at is y\r economic position 9 ! _w80 ,x is ! fir/ "t he has talk$ to me1 & ,i f\nd myself answ]+ z if my life dep5d$ on my answ]s4 ,happily no "o 9 ?is c\ntry kn[s any?+ ab\t my family1 up-br++1 or surr\nd+s4 ,i h n got to live d[n my wa/$ ye>s4 ,i c /& on my own feet & be accept$ on my own m]its4 ,borod9 my/ifies me1 ,i _c make out1 :5 all 8 que/ions h be5 answ]$1 :at he ?9ks4 ,,septemb] #bh,,?4 ,dzhirj9sky came at #aj a4m4 = an h\r4 ,he is leav+ ,mosc[ = a =tnight1 s t ,i c get no m sitt+s1 b see+ h[ ke5 ,i 01 he /ay$ on & on1 dol+ out t5 m9utes & qu>t]-h\rs z s mu* f9e gold4 ,he sits s well t two sitt+s are wor? f\r ( ,z9oviev's4 ,:5 ! ,savon>ola ( ! ,revolution left1 ,i felt a real sadness t ,i may nev] see him aga94 ,z9oviev sat aga9 9 ! aft]noon1 & br\ght ) him ,bu*>9 & ,bela ,kun4 ,!y seem$ to approve ( ,dzhirj9sky's bu/1 & insi/$ on look+ ?r\gh all ! photographs ( my "w4 ,! 8,victory0 is :at really int]e/s !m4 ,i 0 frightfully disappo9t$ 9 ,bela ,kun4 ,i _h imag9$ a romantic figure1 b he looks mo/ disreputable4 ,bu*>9 is attractive ) 8 trim1 neat little be>d & "y face4 ,?is aft]noon1 aft] all _h left1 ?ree soldi]s br\ght a gilt ,l\is ,,xvi s(a & a ,turke/an c>pet to my workroom4 ,^! _h be5 ord]$ to help to make x m habitable & to dispel ! sev]ity4 ,i _h to laugh1 ! s(a look$ s absurdly ref9$ & out ( place4 ,i wond]$ ^: draw+-room x once furni%$1 & to :at little tea-"t gossips x _h li/5$4 ,at t mom5t a sculptor call$ ,ni*olas ,&rev came 9 & introduc$ himself to me4 ,he 0 s5t by ,kam5eff & m]cifully speaks ,fr5*4 ,a big man ) small laugh+ eyes & a r$-grey be>d1 typically ,russian4 ,aft] we _h talk$ = a:ile he describ$ to me ! difficulties ,illu/ration3 ,,bu/ ,,( ,,dzhirj9sky4 p4 #hg4 "u :i* he _h tri$ to d ,l59 9 8 (fice1 & :ile he 0 work+4 ,he said t portraiture 0 n ,art4 ,i c\ld n b agree ) him1 z ! difficulty always 9 do+ portraits is t sitt+s are always too few & too %ort1 b said t "o _h to put up ) x1 & d ! be/ "o c\ld1 break+ "o's he>t ov] x all ! "t4 ,he said he _h giv5 up sculpture = ! "t be+ because ( ! difficult conditions1 & _h tak5 to draw+ in/ead4 ,i said t = ! pres5t ,i 0 int5t on portraits1 & t ,art w\ld h to wait until lat]4 ,8 attitude is *>act]i/ic ( ! sculptor species4 ,!y are all s d---- d pr\d1 & if !y _c get all ! sitt+s !y ne$ & "w "u ideal conditions1 !y d n ?9k x wor? :ile try+4 ,i consid] t !re are a few p 9 ! _w :o are wor? any ef=t to d1 ev5 if !y d n give "o a *ance to d "o's be/ "w4 ,&rev laugh$ & said t t 0 j\rnalism 9 ,art4 ,:5 ,i got home ,i f\nd t ! wat] _h be5 heat$ = ba?s4 ,?is 0 a great joy3 ,i _h n _h "o = eight days4 ,once a week is our all[ance1 & x %\ld be on ,saturdays1 b some?+ w5t wrong ) ! pipe1 & we h be5 disappo9t$ ea* ev5+1 s t 9 fact ,i _h giv5 up hope4 ,h[ "o has le>n$ to appreciate ! mo/ ord9>y ?+s t "o nev] ?\ght ( be+ ?ankful = be=e4 ,b s9ce ,i h be5 "h ,i h _h to wa% 9 cold wat]2 nor am ,i call$1 b ,i wake up q me*anically e morn+ at eight4 ,x w be wond]ful to h scrambl$ eggs "o day = breakfa/1 b ,i am gett+ us$ to j black bread & butt]1 & sometimes *eese4 ,i wond] a good deal ab\t my family & fri5ds4 ,x is s /range to h left !m )\t a ^w1 & to get no lett]s & n to be able to write any4 ,mamma especially--bless h]1 :o always says 8good-night0 z if x 7 8good-bye-=-ev]0--,i wond] :at %e feels ab\t my go+ (f )\t tell+ h]4 ,i wond] if ,papa is anxi\s ab\t me1 or indiff]5t & res5tful6 ,:5 ,i ?9k ab\t ,dick & ,m>g>et ,i feel a sadness4 ,i c get on )\t mo/ p 9 ! _w1 b n )\t ^? two1 & !y mu/ wond] :y !y d n get lett]s f me4 ,x x r dreadful to ?9k t !y might believe t my sil5ce means =getfulness4 ,?is ev5+ we w5t to ! 8,coq d',or40 ,i ?\ght ,i 0 back 9 ,london until ,i look$ away f ! /age4 ,illu/ration3 ,m>cus ,adams4 ,,m>g>et ,,& ,,ri*>d ,,br9sley ,,%]idan4 p4 #ij4 ,,septemb] #cj,,?4 ,kam5eff came to see me 9 ! morn+ ) 8 wat* 9 8 h&1 he _h tw5ty m9utes4 ,x 0 p>alys+1 "o _c talk "u su* conditions4 ,i conf9$ myself to pres5t+ him ) a li/ ( ?+s ,i want done6 ,small wond] he comes s seldom to see me4 ,:5 he does come ev]yone 9 ! h\se kn[s x1 & "o by "o !y come to my door & ask to see him1 ea* want+ some?+ ( him1 :ile 8 c> :i* waits at ! door is borr[$ = an err&4 ,x is v disc\rag+ = him4 ,borod9 took me to 8,pr9ce ,igor0 ?is ev5+1 x comb9$ ! op]a ) ! ballet4 ,9 ! box next to u 0 a p>ty ( ,afghans & ) !m a ,korean4 ,d[n 9 ! /alls "o man 0 9 a smok+ coat & ev5+ %irt1 ! fir/ ,i h se54 ,he 0 v conspicu\s4 ,,octob] #a,,/4 ,ni*olas ,&rev met me at ! ,kreml9 at #a o'clock4 ,kam5eff _h plac$ a c> at our disposal = ! aft]noon4 ,we w5t to sev]al gall]ies1 beg9n+ ) ! ,kreml94 ,! palace ( a ,gr& ,du*ess 7opposite ! big bell7 has be5 conv]t$ into a work+ p's club4 ,x 0 q clean & c>$ =1 b only ! ,empire ,swan furniture sugge/$ x _h ev] be5 a private habitation4 ,we w5t d[n/airs to a private *apel1 pa9t$ 9 black & gold4 ,?is _h be5 made into a modell+ s*ool1 & !re 7 "s v good ?+s be+ done f life4 ,! ,_s ( ! ,holy ,gho/ desc5d+ z a dove f above1 & ! gold5 rays ( a c>v$ sun made a /range backgr\nd4 ,my b\rgeois prejudice 0 j = a mom5t %ock$1 until ,i rememb]$ t 9 our own old f\rte5? c5tury *apel at home ,papa typewrites on ! alt> /ep4 ,x has be5 long] 9 disuse x is true1 b /ill1 "o mu/ be consi/5t4 ,f !re we drove 9 ! c> to ! h\se ( ,o/r\ck(1 :o %[$ me 8 room full ( ,ikons1 "o ( :i* came out ( ,/4 ,s(ia4 ,"s date back to ! fif? & six? c5turies4 ,!y 7 beautiful 9 design & col\r1 & mo/ int]e/+ :5 he expla9$ !m to me4 ,d[n/airs he _h a mod]n motley collection4 ,he %[$ u a ,mattisse giv5 to him by ,mattisse himself2 x 0 a curi\s contra/ aft] ,ikons4 ,we drift$ into "s art s*ools1 :]e soldi]s & sailors 7 work+ f life models1 & ! "w !y 7 do+ 0 extremely good4 ,"o ( ^! s*ools 0 9 ! l>ge h\se ( a ri* m]*ant4 ,! ,soviet ,gov]nm5t are pretty %rewd 9 ! selection ( h\ses = v>i\s purposes4 ,al?\gh "s ( ! big h\ses are ,illu/ration3 ,,! ,,*ur* ,,( ,,sa9t ,,basil ,,& ,,! ,,r$ ,,squ>e4 p4 #ie4 (t5 giv5 ov] = clubs or workplaces1 only a really vulg>1 ov]-decorat$ h\se 9 impossibly bad ta/e is us$ = r\gh or dirty "w4 ,! exhibitions ( prolet>ian art are v int]e/+1 & deeply imbu$ ) ! mod]n movem5t4 ,!re are crude draw+s t %[ an appreciation ( =m1 & !re is sculpture 9 wood t is (t5 v effective1 & may lead to some?+ good4 ,"o ( ^! exhibitions 0 9 an exquisite h\se ( beautiful ar*itecture t /ood back f ! /reet1 9 a g>d5 t _h run to se$4 ,! h\se _h once belong$ to ! ,pr9cess ,dolgor\ki1 b x _h pass$ into ! h&s ( a ,c\ntess somebody1 :o _h di$4 ,! daught] hritire _h be5 turn$ out1 b x 0 said t %e 0 /ill liv+ 9 ! basem5t4 ,! gr\nd floor consi/$ ( a s]ies ( small1 beautifully proportion$ rooms1 ) pa9t$ ceil+s & c>v$ doors4 ,"o 0 a ,*9ese room & all 7 9 exquisite ta/e4 ,!re 7 "s lovely ,empire bronzes & old ,dore1 & o!r objects ( art4 ,! h\se seem$ to be op5 to anyone :o *ose to come 94 ,! old *]ry-sat9 uphol/]y ( ! ,fr5* *airs 0 9 limbo4 ,i nev] felt a place s small & full ( gho/s4 ,p]haps1 because x 0 s small1 x _h ! feel+ ( hav+ be5 someone's intimate home1 n a blatant place ( ent]ta9+4 ,z we w&]$ r\nd a man jo9$ u &1 speak+ to u 9 ,fr5*1 ask$ if we 7 f ,france4 ,8 cap 0 drawn well ov] 8 eyes1 & ! coll> ( 8 ov]coat turn$ up ov] 8 e>s4 ,"o c\ld only see a well-br$ nose p9*$ ) cold4 ,he knew ab\t ! h\se & its hi/ory1 & :i* 7 ! be/ bits ( furniture4 ,he 0 evid5tly a cultur$ man1 & b = ! pres5ce ( ,&rev1 :o always laughs at me1 ,i w\ld h talk$ to him ab\t himself4 ,he 0 r l a gho/ haunt+ a place he knew1 & ,i imag9e he 0 no ,bol%evik1 b "o :o _h kn[n prosp]\s days4 ,i came away fill$ ) sadness1 & :5 ,kam5eff came to see me ?is ev5+1 ,i tri$ to tell him ab\t x1 & begg$ him to h ! h\se tak5 c>e (4 ,he says t !re is a committee t looks aft] all ! h\ses1 b ,i ?9k !y h pass$ ?is "o by4 ,com+ back f our w&]+s we pass$1 9 "o ( ! squ>es1 a /atue ( ,gogol1 ! ,russian writ]4 ,i ?\ght x a v f9e piece ( "w4 ,gogol1 half wrapp$ 9 a cloak1 looks d[n scrut9iz+ly 9 bronze f 8 r\gh granite seat1 & ,&rev laugh$ at me = lik+ x1 & said t 9 ,mosc[ x 0 scorn$ & _h br\ght coals ( fire d[n on ! arti/'s head4 ,i 0 v surpris$1 & ?\ght to myself t ! /&>d ( ,russian art mu/ be v high3 b 9 spite ( ?is ridicule1 ,i /uck to my op9ion4 ,i ev5 said t 9 ,london we _h n a s+le /atue z good z t "o4 ,lat] he admitt$ t he 0 ! au?or ( x4 ,,octob] #b,,nd4 ,he>+ t !re 0 a review ( troops 9 ! ,r$ ,squ>e at #aa o'clock1 ,i w5t to see :at ,i c\ld see4 ,ev]yone else seem$ busy1 & ,mi*ael ,m>kovit*1 :om ,i want$1 0 n to be f\nd4 ,if he _h come ) me ,i %\ld h tak5 my kodak1 b ,i h n a p]mit & did n feel l risk+ a controv]sy alone4 ,arriv$ 9 ! ,r$ ,squ>e1 ,i 0 n all[$ to get any:]e ne>1 & ,i did s want to see & he> ,trotsky address+ ! troops4 ,soldi]s kept ! onlook]s absolutely out ( ! squ>e1 & ,i /ood on ! /eps ( ! wond]ful *ur* ( ,/4 ,basil4 ,! soldi]s c]ta9ly 7 v amiable1 &1 :5 ,i w&]$ rebelli\sly f my /eps out into ! road1 a bayonet 0 levell$ smil+ly at me2 ,i made a ge/ure ( n und]/&+1 & said helplessly 9 ,engli% 8,:]e d y want me to g80 ,:]eupon ! soldi] laugh$ & all[$ me to /& by 8 side4 ,! cr[d 0 v quiet & apa!tic1 "o c]ta9ly 0 n ne> en\gh to get excit$4 ,9 ! dim di/ance "o c\ld he> ,trotsky's voice1 punctuat$ by *e]s f ! soldi]s4 ,aft] a:ile ! cr[d broke =w>d to :]e ,i /ood ) ! soldi]4 ,"s m\nt$ deta*m5ts came t[>ds u1 v decorative inde$ ) bright col\r$ uni=ms & lances ) flutt]+ p5nons4 ,sudd5ly a man at my side said to me 9 ,fr5*3 8,madame1 does ?is please y80 ,i 0 v glad to h someone to speak to2 ! man 0 "y1 &1 ?\gh ill-%av$1 0 well-dress$ 9 uni=m4 ,he c\ld speak ,g]man also1 b ,engli% he said he _h =gott51 ?\gh he _h at "o "t sp5t ?ree mon?s 9 ,engl&4 ,wav+ a h& contempt\sly t[>ds ! sc5e be=e u1 he said3 8,c'e/ du ?tre1 ,madame--t is all x am\nts to40 ,i v5tur$ to say t a !atrical display 0 n mu* use unless !re 7 spectators4 ,9 ,engl&1 ,i assur$ him1 we _h our milit>y pageants = ! b5efit ( ! p1 b :at 0 ! use ( ?is if we 7 n all[$ any:]e ne>8 ,he repli$ t x 0 a necess>y precaution = ! protection ( ,trotsky4 ,i laugh$3 8,we are ?ree gun%ots away1 at lea/40 ,!n to my amazem5t ! man began to discuss & criticise1 & talk :at seem$ to me pure ,c\nt]-,revolution>y /uff4 ,f all "o has ev] he>d ab\t ,russian conditions 7,ts>i/ z well z ,revolution>y7 x seem$ to me t he 0 /rangely indiscreet1 & ,i ask$ him3 8,are y n mad to talk l ?is 9 a cr[d8 ,anyone may und]/& ,fr5*40 ,he %rugg$ 8 %\ld]s3 8,"o has liv$ s long n[ side by side ) dea? t "o has gr[n call\s40 ,he !n ask$ if ,i w\ld c>e to g = a walk4 ,i felt r selfconsci\s ( walk+ away 9 front ( ! cr[d ) a man :om !y _h se5 me s obvi\sly 8pick-up40 ,h[ev]1 9 ,russia !re are no conv5tions1 x 0 only my b\rgeois blood ru%+ to ! surface aga9 t made x seem peculi>4 ,we w5t d[n to ! riv] & lean$ aga9/ ! rail+ & talk$ = a long "t4 ,he 0 c]ta9ly v int]e/+ & amaz+ly indiscreet4 ,happily ,i h no?+ ) :i* to reproa* myself4 ,i adopt$ a p]fectly good ,bol%evik po9t ( view1 & argu$ 9 my usual way ab\t w>s & blockades1 & urg$ him to h imag9ation & to look fur!r ahead ?an to-day & to-morr[4 ,we talk$ ab\t ideali/s1 review$ a few ,ts>i/ items1 & made comp>isons1 b ev]y?+ ,i said provok$ him to fur!r extreme utt]ances4 ,he wi%$ f9ally t he might h an opportunity ( %[+ me 8! o!r side40 ,he invit$ me to g to a factory ) him4 ,i ask$ :at use t w\ld be z ,i _c speak a ^w ( ,russian4 ,he said he w\ld l to pres5t to me 8 fa!r & 8 uncle1 b z !y 7 bo? 8kn[n0 he w\ld h to be v c>eful4 ,f9ally we ex*ang$ my "n & address = 8 telephone numb]4 ,he said t if ,i w\ld telephone him to-morr[1 ,sunday night1 he w\ld meet me outside my front gate at #aa on ,monday morn+1 b he w\ld n d>e to come into ! h\se4 ,at #a o'clock a4m4 7,i h adopt$ ! ,russian habit ( n go+ to b$7 ,i saw ,mi*ael ,m>kovit*1 :5 he return$ f ! ,commiss>iat1 & told him ab\t x4 ,he said t he mu/ be ! que]e/ sort ( ,c\nt]-,revolution>y he _h ev] he>d (1 & advis$ me to leave him alone4 ,,octob] #c,,rd4 ,i h be5 five days out ( "w4 ,x seems mu* long]4 ,i am told t !re are p 9 ,mosc[ :o h be5 wait+ six mon?s to accompli% ! bus9ess !y came =4 ,l59 seems to me fur!r away ?an he did 9 ,london4 ,!re is no?+ to d "h unless "o has "w4 ,nev] c\ld "o h imag9$ a _w 9 :i* !re is absolutely no social life & no %ops4 ,!re are no newspap]s 7= me7 & no lett]s1 ei!r to be receiv$ or writt54 ,!re are no meals to look =w>d to1 & com=t _c be s\ght 9 a hot ba?4 ,:5 "o has se5 all ! gall]ies1 & !y are op5 only half a day1 & "s ( !m n e day1 & :5 "o has walk$ ov] cobble/ones until "o's feet a*e1 !re is no?+ m to be done4 ,"o mu/ h "w to d4 ,p]haps ,i %\ld be calm] if ,i _h already accompli%$ ,l591 b my anxiety is le/ ,i %\ld h to wait we>y weeks4 ,return to ,london )\t 8 head ,i _c4 ,mi*ael took me = a walk1 & x 0 extremely cold4 ,we w5t to ,/4 ,basil1 z ,i want$ to see x inside1 b x is lock$ aft] #c o'clock4 ,outside x is wond]ful1 pa9t$ all ov] 9 v>i\s designs & col\rs4 ,i _c und]/& h[ x /&s ! climate4 ,inside ,i am told t !re is n mu* to see2 ,napoleon /abl$ 8 horses 9 x4 ,"o has he>d s mu* ab\t ,bol%evik outrages1 b !y h done no?+ l t4 ,napoleon di/+ui%$ himself 9 sev]al ways :ile he 0 "h4 ,= in/ance1 he ord]$ ! de/ruction ( ! beautiful ,spassky ,gate ( ! ,kreml92 ! b>rels ( p[d] 7 plac$ 9 position & ! mat*es 7 lit z ! la/ ( ! ,fr5* rode out4 ,! ,cossacks gallop$ up 9 "t to put ! mat*es out at ! risk ( _! lives4 ,on our way home we pass$ by ,/4 ,savi\r's *ur* & look$ 91 really impell$ to seek refuge f ! cold4 ,9 a side *apel :]e ! light 0 dim1 a prie/1 ) 8 long hair & be>d & f9e features1 0 prea*+ to a congregation :i* sat f]v5tly absorb$4 ,! heads ( ! wom5 look$ ,ea/]n 9 _! %awl swa?+s4 ,i li/5$ = "s "t to ! /range musical tongue1 ( :i* ,i c\ld n und]/& a ^w4 ,! prie/ look$ s amaz+ly l ! traditional pictures ( ,*ri/ t ,i felt ,i 0 li/5+ to ! great ,ma/] tea*+ 9 ! ,temple4 ,,octob] #d,,?4 ,:5 ,i came d[n to breakfa/ at #aj my /range ,c\nt]-,revolution>y 0 sitt+ 9 ! hall4 ,h[ he ev] got !re or :y he came z ,i _h n telephon$ to him1 ,i %all nev] und]/&4 ,i express$ my a/oni%m5t & told him ,i 0 sorry ,i c\ld n g out ) him1 z ,i _h someone com+ to see me4 ,i promis$ to telephone to him lat]4 ,he seem$ a little disappo9t$1 said he 0 8entirem5t a mon s]vice10 & dep>t$4 ,9 ! d9+-room ,i f\nd ,mi*ael breakfa/+ & told him1 & he got up quickly to see1 b ,i laugh$ & said t naturally ,i _h s5t him away1 be=e tell+ anyone he 0 !re4 ,mi*ael look$ at me ) a cold look4 ,he is l ! o!rs1 "o feels in/9ctively t h[ev] mu* !y may l "o z a woman1 !y w\ld sacrifice "o 9 a m9ute if x 7 necess>y = ! cause4 ,at lun* "t ,h4 ,g4 ,wells arriv$ f ,petrograd ) 8 son2 !y are lodg$ 9 our h\se4 ,x 0 a great pleasure to f9d an old fri5d & to be able to talk ( ?+s & p famili> to u4 ,he 01 z usual1 laugh+ & extremely humor\s ab\t ! condition ( life 9 ,petrograd4 ,on 8 acc\nt we 7 a big p>ty = lun*1 & !re 0 an ef=t to make a spread1 b ?is 0 fru/rat$ by ,mi*ael ,borod94 ,:5 ,i ask$ = "s ( ! beautiful apple cake ,i _h se5 on ! side-table1 ,mi*ael made grimaces at me3 he _h s5t x back to ! kit*54 ,! p]fect ,communi/ 9 him revolt$ aga9/ ! inequality ( ,h4 ,g4 hav+ a special cake1 consid]+ t nei!r ,v&]lip nor ,%]idan _h _h "o on arrival4 ,! h\sehold call me ,%]idan1 l a man4 ,"o has q lo/ ! habit ( prefix+ ,mr4 or ,mrs41 9 fact "o _c d x1 x s\nds s absurd & affect$4 ,i h n yet be5 hon\r$ to ! ext5t ( be+ call$ ,tov>is* 7,comrade71 b "s p ball me ,cl>a ,moretonovna 7,cl>e1 daught] ( ,moreton74 ,aft] lun* ,i w5t = a walk ) ,mi*ael2 he _h tip-to$ out ( ! room at lun* "t1 & ,i ask$ him :y4 ,he 0 n v communicative1 & said t he hat$ p collectively & he dislik$ ,h4 ,g41 ?\gh = no reason t ,i c\ld make out4 ,i sat up f> into ! night4 ,"o felt q sleepless ) excitem5t ov] ! ev5+'s discussions4 ,,octob] #e,,?4 ,h4 ,g4 _h an h\r's int]view ) ,l594 ,he told me t he 0 impress$ by ! man1 & lik$ him4 ,l59 app>5tly told him all ab\t ! ,v&]lip bus9ess1 ! ,kams*atka concessions & ! ,alliance aga9/ ,japan4 ,?is w greatly upset ,v&]lip1 :o did n want ! news to leave ! c\ntry until he did4 ,b ,i expect ,l59's indiscretion is ! indiscretion ( purpose4 ,h4 ,g4 talk$ to me at "s l5g? ab\t ! advisability ( my go+ home4 ,he1 too1 is disc\rag+ ab\t my prospects ( do+ ,l59 or ,trotsky4 ,he says t ,kam5eff has 8let me d[n0 badly4 ,i c\ld only say 9 ,kam5eff's def5ce t he has n 8let me d[n0 yet4 ,b ,h4 ,g4 _h some?+ else 9 ! back ( 8 head t he did n tell4 ,i ga!r$ t he ?9ks !re w be tr\ble "h 9 a few weeks4 ,:at ! conditions are 9 ,petrograd ,i d n "k1 b "h "o feels z safe z a m\nta9 & z immovable4 ,h4 ,g4 may le>n a lot ( facts ab\t s*ools & factories & ?+s1 b x is only by liv+ a life ( dull r\t9e & "w1 ev5 ( pati5t inactivity & wait+1 t "o absorbs ! atmosph]e4 ,inactivity is =c$ ^u me1 ,i h to wait4 ,i am wait+ nei!r pati5tly nor calmly x is true1 b all ! :ile ,i realise t ,i am ga9+ some?+1 & t "s und]/&+ is subconsci\sly fl[+ to me4 ,i see no dang] signals4 ,a w9t] ( h>d%ip & sacrifice = ^! p1 yes1 b no disord]4 ,! ma*9e is sl[ly1 v sl[ly1 work+ ) m compet5ce & fre$om4 ,( c\rse "o dislikes cold ba?s 9 cold wea!r1 & bad food1 & all ! discom=ts to :i* a pamp]$ life has made "o unaccu/om$1 b ^! ne$ n blight "o's outlook4 ,!y are n necess>ily indicative ( a disruption4 ,aft] ! ,ballet 8,sadko10 ,i walk$ home ) ,mi*ael ,borod94 ,we _h supp] toge!r ( cabbage-s\p & tepid rice1 & talk$ until #b a4m4 ,mi*ael always says t ! food is eatable1 ev5 if x is n4 ,he nev] compla9s1 he j pret5ds to eat x1 sometimes ,i see 8 pret5ce4 ,?is ev5+ he talk$ to me ab\t my "w4 ,he wants me to ?9k ab\t a /atue int]pret+ ! ,soviet idea1 & told me a good deal ab\t ! ,?ird ,int]national1 z repres5t+ a _w bro!rhood ( work]s4 ,! plan ( ! ,?ird ,int]national is v f9e3 8,workm5 ( ! _w unite40 ,if !y did unite !y c\ld hold ! peace ( ! _w = ev]4 ,b unity is h>d to atta92 ,i wond] if x is n unatta9able4 ,ev]y?+ t "o he>s & sees "h /irs ! imag9ation--my m9d is see?+ ) allegories ) :i* to express !m1 b !y are s big t ,i %\ld h to settle = life on ! side ( a m\nta91 & hew out my allegories f ! m\nta9 side4 ,to-night1 9 8 big ,go?ic room1 ,i pac$ back & =?1 my arm ?r\gh ,mi*ael's1 talk+ ab/ract$ly1 until 8 calmness calm$ me4 ,he kn[s t ,i h be5 go+ ?r\gh a p]iod ( wait+1 n unmix$ ) despair & anxiety4 ,i und]/& s little ab\t ! ,russian temp]am5t1 & he> su* conflict+ reports1 t x is difficult to "k :at to expect4 ,he has enc\rag$ & *e]$ & tol]at$ me4 ,he rem9ds me sometimes ( ,mun!1#f 9 8 adhesion to 8 convictions1 & 8 dem& t "o %\ld live up to "o's idealism4 ,,octob] #f,,?4 ,sp5t ! morn+ d>n+ my /ock+s & read+ ,rup]t ,brooke4 ,i 0 depress$ to ! po9t ( resignation4 ,x is always blacke/ be=e dawn3 at #b o'clock ! ,comm&ant ( ! h\se walk$ 9 ) a telephone message3 8,greet+s f ,comrade ,kam5eff1 & all is prep>$ = y to g & d ,l59 9 8 room to-morr[1 f #aa till #d o'clock40 ,x 0 m>vell\s news4 ,i w5t directly to ! ,kreml91 & ) ! help ( someone f ! ,=eign ,(fice1 got my /&s & clay mov$ f my /udio to ,l59's room4 ,i happily _h him built up1 ready to "w on z soon z ! ord] %\ld come4 ,,octob] #g,,?4 ,borod9 accompani$ me to ! ,kreml94 ,on ! way he said to me3 8,j rememb] t y are go+ to d ! be/ bit ( "w to-day t y h ev] done40 ,i 0 anxi\s1 r1 ab\t ! conditions ( ! room & ! light4 ,we w5t 9 by a special door1 gu>d$ by a s5try1 & on ! ?ird floor we w5t ?r\gh sev]al doors & passages1 ea* gu>d$4 ,z ,i 0 expect$1 ! s5tries _h receiv$ ord]s to let me pass4 ,f9ally1 we w5t ?r\gh two rooms full ( wom5 secret>ies4 ,! la/ room conta9$ ab\t five wom5 at five tables1 & !y all look$ at me curi\sly1 b !y knew my err&4 ,"h ,mi*ael h&$ me ov] to a little hun*back1 ,l59's private secret>y1 & left me4 ,%e po9t$ to a :ite baize door1 & ,i w5t ?r\gh4 ,x did n lat*1 b m]ely swung beh9d me4 ,l59 0 sitt+ at 8 desk4 ,he rose & came across ! room to greet me4 ,he has a g5ial mann] & a k9dly smile1 :i* puts "o in/antly at ease4 ,he said t he _h he>d ( me f ,kam5eff4 ,i apologis$ = hav+ to bo!r him4 ,he laugh$ & expla9$ t ! la/ sculptor _h occupi$ 8 room = weeks1 & t he got s bor$ ) x t he _h sworn t x nev] %\ld happ5 aga94 ,he ask$ h[ long ,i ne$$1 & (f]$ me to-day & to-morr[ f #aa till #d1 & ?ree or f\r ev5+s1 if ,i c\ld "w by electric light4 ,:5 ,i told him ,i work$ quickly & %\ld probably n require s mu*1 he said laugh+ly t he 0 pleas$4 ,my /& & ?+s 7 !n br\ght into ! room by ?ree soldi]s1 & ,i e/abli%$ myself on ! left4 ,x 0 h>d "w1 = he 0 l[] ?an ! clay & did n revolve1 nor did he keep /ill4 ,b ! room 0 s peaceful1 & he on ! :ole took s little notice ( me1 t ,i work$ ) great calm till #c4de1 )\t /opp+ = re/ or food4 ,dur+ t "t he _h b "o int]view1 b ! telephone 0 ( great assi/ance to me4 ,:5 ! l[ buzz accompani$ by ! light+ up ( a small electric bulb1 signifi$ a telephone call1 8 face lo/ ! dullness ( repose & became animat$ & int]e/+4 ,he ge/iculat$ to ! telephone z ?\gh x und]/ood4 ,i rem>k$ on ! comp>ative /illness ( 8 room1 & he laugh$4 8,wait till !re is a political discussion60 he said4 ,secret>ies came 9 at int]vals ) lett]s4 ,he op5$ !m1 sign$ ! empty envelope1 & gave x back1 a =m ( receipt ,i suppose4 ,"s pap]s 7 br\ght him to sign1 & he sign$1 b :il/ look+ at some?+ else in/ead ( at 8 signature4 ,i ask$ him :y he _h wom5 secret>ies4 ,he said because all ! m5 7 at ! w>1 & t caus$ u to talk ( ,pol&4 ,i und]/ood t peace ) ,pol& _h be5 sign$ ye/]day1 b he says n1 t =ces are at "w try+ to upset ! negotiations1 & t ! position is v grave4 8,besides10 he said1 8:5 we h settl$ ,pol&1 we h got ,wrangel40 ,i ask$ if ,wrangel 0 negligible1 & he said t ,wrangel c\nt$ q a bit1 :i* is a diff]5t attitude f t adopt$ by ! o!r ,russians ,i h met1 :o h laugh$ scornfully at ! idea ( ,wrangel4 ,we talk$ ab\t ,h4 ,g4 ,wells1 & he said t ! only book ( 8 he _h read 0 8,joan & ,pet]10 b t he _h n read x to ! end4 ,he lik$ ! description at ! beg9n+ ( ! ,engli% intellectual b\rgeois life4 ,he admitt$ t he %\ld h read1 & regrett$ n hav+ read "s ( ! e>li] fanta/ic novels ab\t w>s 9 ! air & ! _w set free4 ,i am told t ,l59 manages to get ?r\gh a good deal ( read+4 ,on 8 desk 0 a volume by ,*iozza ,money4 ,he ask$ me if ,i _h _h any tr\ble 9 gett+ ?r\gh to 8 room1 & ,i expla9$ t ,borod9 _h accompani$ me4 ,i !n _h ! face to sugge/ t ,borod91 be+ an extremely intellig5t man :o c speak good ,engli%1 w\ld make a good ,ambassador to ,engl& :5 !re is ,peace4 ,l59 look$ at me ) ! mo/ amus$ expression1 8 eyes seem$ to see "r ?r\gh me1 & !n said3 8,t w\ld please ,monsieur ,*ur*ill w\ldn't x80 ,i ask$ if ,w9/on 0 ! mo/ hat$ ,engli%man4 ,he %rugg$ 8 %\ld]s1 & !n add$ some?+ ab\t ,*ur*ill be+ ! man ) all ! =ce ( ! capitali/s beh9d him4 ,we argu$ ab\t t1 b he did n want to he> my op9ion1 8 own be+ q un%akable4 ,he talk$ ab\t ,w9/on be+ my c\s91 & ,i said r apologetically t ,i c\ld n help x1 & in=m$ him t ,i _h ano!r c\s9 :o 0 a ,s9n ,fe9]4 ,he laugh$1 & said 8t mu/ be a *e]ful p>ty :5 y ?ree get toge!r40 ,i suppose x w\ld be *e]ful1 b we h nev] all ?ree be5 toge!r6 ,dur+ ^! f\r h\rs he nev] smok$1 & nev] ev5 drank a cup ( tea4 ,i h nev] work$ s long on end be=e1 & at #c4de ,i c\ld hold out no long]4 ,i 0 bl9d ) we>9ess & hung]1 & said good-bye4 ,he promis$ to sit on ! revolv+ /& to-morr[4 ,if all goes well1 ,i ?9k ,i ought to be able to f9i% him4 ,i d hope x is good4 ,i ?9k x looks m l him ?an any ( ! bu/s ,i h se5 yet4 ,he has a curi\s ,slav face1 & looks v ill4 ,:5 ,i ask$ = news ( ,engl&1 he (f]$ me ! ?ree late/ 8,daily ,h]alds0 he _h1 dat$ ,septemb] #ba1 #bb & #bc4 ,i br\ght !m back & we all fell ^u !m1 ,russians & ,am]ican alike4 ,z = me1 ,i h sp5t a blissful ev5+ read+ ab\t ! ,iri% ,rebellion & ! ,m9]s' dispute1 z if x 7 ye/]day's news1 & ! ,ir5e ,munro & ,bamb]g] cases4 ,goodness1 "o feels z ?\gh "o _h look$ ?r\gh a w9d[ & se5 home on ! horizon4 ,h[ tir$ ,i 02 ,i _h eat5 no?+ s9ce #aj a4m4 & d9n] 0 n until #i p4m4 ,9 betwe5 ,i ate "s ( my ,engli% biscuits4 ,,octob] #h,,?4 ,/>t$ "w aga9 9 ,l59's room4 ,i w5t by myself ?is "t1 & got pa/ all ! s5tries ) ! pass t ,i _h be5 giv54 ,i took my kodak ) me1 al?\gh ,i _h n ! necess>y kodak p]mission4 ,i put a coat ov] my arm1 :i* hid x4 ,i don't "k h[ ,i got ?r\gh my day4 ,i _h to "w on him f af>4 ,my real *ance came :5 a ,comrade arriv$ = an int]view1 & !n = ! fir/ "t ,l59 sat & talk$ fac+ ! w9d[1 s t ,i 0 able to see 8 full face & 9 a good light4 ,! ,comrade rema9$ a long "t1 & conv]sation 0 v animat$4 ,nev] did ,i see anyone make s _m faces4 ,l59 laugh$ & fr[n$1 & look$ ?\ghtful1 sad1 & humor\s all 9 turn4 ,8 eyebr[s twit*$1 sometimes !y w5t "r up1 & !n aga9 !y puck]$ toge!r malici\sly4 ,i wat*$ ^! expressions1 wait$1 hesitat$1 & !n made my selection ) a frantic ru%--x 0 8 screw$-up look4 ,wond]ful6 ,no "o else has su* a look1 x is 8 alone4 ,e n[ & !n he seem$ to be consci\s ( my pres5ce1 & gave a pi]c+1 enigmatical look 9 my direction4 ,if ,i _h be5 a spy pret5d+ n to und]/& ,russian1 ,i wond] :e!r ,i %\ld h le>nt int]e/+ ?+s8 ,! ,comrade1 :5 he left ! room1 /opp$ & look$ at my "w1 & said ! only ^w t ,i und]/&1 :i* is c>as*o1 x means 8good10 & !n said some?+ ab\t my hav+ ! "* ( ! man1 s ,i 0 glad4 ,aft] t ,l59 cons5t$ to sit on ! revolv+ /&4 ,x seem$ to amuse him v mu*4 ,he said he nev] _h sat s high4 ,:5 ,i kneel$ d[n to look at ! glances f bel[1 8 face adopt$ an expression ( surprise & emb>rassm5t4 ,i laugh$ & ask$3 8,are y unaccu/om$ to ?is attitude 9 woman80 ,at t mom5t a secret>y came 91 & ,i _c ?9k :y !y 7 bo? s amus$4 ,!y talk$ rapid ,russian toge!r1 & laugh$ a good deal4 ,:5 ! secret>y _h gone1 he became s]i\s & ask$ me a few que/ions4 ,did ,i "w h>d 9 ,london8 ,i said x 0 my life4 ,h[ _m h\rs a day8 ,an av]age ( sev54 ,he made no comm5t on ?is1 b x seem$ to satisfy him4 ,until !n1 ,i _h ! feel+ t1 al?\gh he 0 *>m+ to me1 he look$ ^u me a little res5tfully z a b\rgeoise4 ,i believe t he always asks p1 if he does n "k !m1 ab\t _! "w & _! orig91 & makes up 8 m9d ab\t !m accord+ly4 ,i %[$ him photographs ( "s ( my bu/s & also ( 8,victory40 ,he 0 emphatic 9 n lik+ ! 8,victory10 8 po9t be+ t ,i _h made x too beautiful4 ,i prote/$ t ! sacrifice involv$ made ,victory beautiful1 b he w\ld n agree4 8,t is ! fault ( b\rgeois art1 x always beautifies40 ,i look$ at him fi]cely4 8,d y accuse me ( b\rgeois art80 8,i accuse y60 he answ]$1 !n held up ! photograph ( ,dick's bu/4 8,i d n accuse y ( embelli%+ ?is1 b ,i pray y n to embelli% me40 ,he !n look$ at ,w9/on4 8,is t ,*ur*ill himself8 ,y h embelli%$ him40 ,he seem$ to h ?is on ! bra94 ,i said3 8,give me a message to take back to ,w9/on40 ,he answ]$3 8,i h already s5t him a message ?r\gh ! ,delegation1 & he answ]$ x n directly1 b ?r\gh a bitt] newspap] ,illu/ration3 ,,spassky ,,entrance ,,to ,,! ,,kreml94 p4 #ii4 article1 9 :i* he said ,i 0 a mo/ horrible creature1 & t our army 0 an army ( puces4 ,h[ y say puces 9 ,engli%8 ,y "k ! ,fr5* puces8 ,yes1 t is x1 an army ( fleas4 ,i did n m9d :at he said2 ,i 0 glad4 ,x %[$ t my message to him _h ang]$ him40 8,:5 w ,peace come to ,russia8 ,w a ,g5]al ,election br+ x80 ,i ask$4 ,he said3 8,!re is no fur!r news ( a ,g5]al ,election1 b if ,lloyd ,george asks = an ,election x w be on anti-,bol%evism1 & he may w94 ,! ,capitali/s1 ! ,c\rt1 & ! ,milit>y1 all are beh9d him & ,*ur*ill40 ,i ask$ him if he 7 n mi/ak5 9 8 e/imate ( ! p[] & popul>ity ( ,w9/on1 & ! importance & influ5ce ( ! ,c\rt4 ,he got fi]y4 8,x is an intellectual b\rgeois pose to say t ! ,k+ does n c\nt4 ,he c\nts v mu*4 ,he is ! head ( ! ,army4 ,he is ! b\rgeois figurehead1 & he repres5ts a great deal1 & ,*ur*ill is back$ by him40 ,he 0 s insi/5t1 s assur$1 s fi]ce ab\t x1 t ,i gave up ! argum5t4 ,pres5tly1 he said to me3 8,:at does y\r husb& ?9k ( y\r com+ to ,russia80 ,i repli$ t my husb& 0 kill$ 9 ! w>4 8,9 ! capitali/-imp]iali/ w>80 ,i said3 8,9 ,france1 #aiae2 :at o!r w>80 8,ah1 t is true10 he said4 8,we h _h s _m1 ! imp]iali/1 ! civil w>1 & ! w> = self-def5ce40 ,we !n discuss$ ! wond]ful _s ( self-sacrifice & patriotism ) :i* ,engl& ent]$ ^u ! w> 9 #aiad1 & he want$ me to read 8,le ,feu0 & 8,la ,cl>t0 ( ,b>busse1 9 :i* t _s & its developm5t is s wond]fully describ$4 ,!n ! telephone gave its damnable l[ buzz+4 ,he look$ at 8 wat*4 ,he _h promis$ me fifte5 m9utes on ! revolv+ /& & giv5 me half an h\r4 ,he got d[n & w5t to ! telephone4 ,x did n matt]3 ,i _h done all ,i c\ld4 ,i _h v]ifi$ my measurem5ts1 & !y 7 correct1 :i* 0 a relief1 & s1 x be+ #d o'clock & ,i mighty hungry1 ,i said good-bye4 ,he 0 v pleas$1 said ,i _h work$ v quickly1 call$ 9 8 secret>y & discuss$ x ) h]1 said x 0 c>as*o4 ,i ask$ him to give ord]s to h x remov$ to my /udio1 ,room #ca4 ,two soldi]s arriv$ & c>ri$ x out4 ,i ask$ ,l59 = 8 photograph1 :i* he s5t = & sign$ = me4 ,i hurri$ aft] ! two pant+ soldi]s ) _! load4 ,we pass$ ?r\gh ! rooms ( ! a/oni%$ secret>ies1 out into ! corridors1 pa/ ! bor$ & surpris$ s5tries1 & got ?r\gh to ! ma9 build+4 ,two or ?ree times !y _h to pause & deposit 8,l590 on ! floor1 to ! int]e/ ( ! pass]s-by4 ,at la/ he 0 safely 9 ,room #ca1 & !y return$ to ,l59's room = ! /&s4 ,x 0 a good long way1 & !y 7 tir$ & dripp+ ) sweat :5 _! job 0 done4 ,to my int5se emb>rassm5t1 !y refus$ money1 ?\gh ,i (f]$ !m /acks ( pap] notes4 ,!y refus$ v amiably1 b firmly4 ,i made signs ( imploration & signs ( secrecy1 b !y laugh$ & j po9t$ to _! communi/ badges1 & (f]$ me _! cig>ettes :i* 7 preci\s1 be+ ration$4 ,at #d ,kam5eff walk$ 91 v surpris$ at ,l59 be+ f9i%$ & already back 9 my room4 ,he _h come 9 f a conf]5ce next door4 ,he w5t back & fet*$ 9 ! ,conf]5ce2 eight or m m5 came 91 "s ) int]e/+ heads1 o!rs j ord9>y-look+ workm54 ,!y all talk$ at once4 ,"o 0 ,kal991 :om ,i _h se5 9 ,l59's room at an int]view4 ,kal99 is ! ,presid5t ( ! ,republic1 & is a peasant elect$ by ! peasants4 ,he 0 *>m+ & promis$ to sit = me1 b is (f to ! front to-night = t5 days1 & (f]$ to take me ) him4 ,he told ,kam5eff t z ,i work$ s rapidly ,i %\ld f9d "s int]e/+ heads to d !re1 especially ,g5]al ,budi5ny4 ,i said ,i ?\ght x w\ld be wond]ful to d ?is "w )9 s\nd ( ! guns4 ,kam5eff promis$ to r+ me up at #i o'clock to tell me if ,i 0 to />t at #aj4 ,alas6 ,x turn$ out to be a troop tra91 & n possible = a woman4 ,,octob] #i,,?4 ,/>t$ (f 9 a motor ) ,mr4 ,v&]lip & someone f ! ,=eign ,(fice4 ,we w5t to a textile factory1 a huge place1 & pron\nc$ by ,mr4 ,v&]lip to h ! be/ & late/ ma*9]y1 b !re 7 #bdj work]s :]e !re _h be5 #b1ejj1 & !re 7 acres ( ma*9]y ly+ idle1 ! reason be+ lack ( fuel4 ,mr4 ,v&]lip1 ) t unfail+ ,am]ican 8spread-eagle10 said t #ej exp]i5c$ ,am]ican work]s c\ld h done ! "w ( ^? #bdj4 ,x is true !re 0 a good deal ( idl+ go+ on4 ,?is may h be5 due ei!r to lack ( suffici5t "w1 or to ! ,communi/ sy/em by :i* ea* man or woman is z good z ano!r1 & !re is none to ov]see ! "w4 ,b :at _h be5 done 0 well done4 ,f !re we w5t to "o ( ! big fur /ores :i* be=e ! ,revolution belong$ to a private firm1 b to-day is ! prop]ty ( ! ,gov]nm5t4 ,!re 7 rooms full ( huge hamp]s pack$ ) sable sk9s = export1 & ( c\rse1 z ,i 0 ! only woman pres5t1 !y dangl$ bun*es ( sable sk9s be=e me4 ,n[ sables don't say mu* to me if !y are n made up1 b silv] foxes are diff]5t1 & !y cruelly put r\nd my neck "s silv] foxes4 ,,octob] #aj,,?4 ,kam5eff came at midday to say good-bye to me2 he is (f to ! front to-morr[ = an indef9ite "t4 ,he br\ght ) him a "y man ) close-cropp$ hair & cle>-cut features1 call+ himself ,alex&re4 ,kam5eff ?9ks ,alex&re may be able to take c>e ( me dur+ 8 abs5ce4 ,i c]ta9ly ne$ someone1 z ,mi*ael ,borod9 goes to ,madrid on ,tuesday1 & !n ,i d n "k :at w become ( me4 ,kam5eff discuss$ ) me ab\t ! ,gov]nm5t buy+ ! ,russian copyright ( my heads4 ,he !n ask$ me to make a li/ ( ?+s ,i want$1 & t he c\ld d = me be=e he goes4 ,i _h sev]al wants3 = "o ?+1 ,i am extremely cold4 ,! coat ,i arriv$ 9 is only clo?--n[ !re is sn[ on ! gr\nd1 & ! riv] beg9s to freeze4 ,i h to wrap my rug r\nd my %\ld]s :5 ,i g out4 ,! peasants are f> bett] (f1 !y h all appe>$ 9 %eepsk9 coats1 ! fur !y we> inside1 & ! lea!r1 :i* is usually /a9$ deep orange or ru/ col\r1 is a v decorative ext]ior4 ,! b\rgeois wom5 h br\ght out _! =m] rema9s ( spl5d\r1 & al?\gh !y may h only felt or canvas %oes on _! feet1 & a %awl ov] _! heads1 "s ( !m we> coats t "o w\ld turn r\nd to look at 9 ,bond ,/reet4 ,i head$ my li/ ( requirem5ts ) ! reque/ = a coat--z well z cavi>e1 ,trotsky1 & a soldi] ( ! ,r$ ,army :om ,i want to model4 ,trotsky is expect$ back f ! front 9 a few days4 ,x is a bore t ,kam5eff is go+ away1 b ,alex&re promis$ to arrange sitt+s = me4 ,,octob] #aa,,?4 ,9 ! morn+ ,i accompani$ ,mi*ael ,borod9 to ! headqu>t]s ( ! ,?ird ,int]national4 ,x is a beautiful h\se1 =m]ly ! ,g]man ,embassy1 & :]e ,mirba* 0 murd]$4 ,i came away 9 a c> ) ,madame ,balaban(f1 ( :om ,i _h (t5 he>d4 ,%e is small1 pa/ middle age1 ) a crumpl$-up face1 b intellig5t4 ,i did n f9d h] any too amiable on our way to ! ,kreml91 :]e %e dropp$ me4 ,%e told me t x 0 absurd t any bu/ ,illu/ration3 ,,l591 ,,f ,a ,,photograph4 p4 #aad4 ,illu/ration3 ,,bu/ ,,( ,,l594 p4 #aad4 ( ,l59 or any "o else %\ld be done1 ! !ory be+ t ! cause1 n ! individuals1 %\ld c\nt4 ,! humble/ p]son :o suff]s privation = ! cause is equally z important z any ( ! legislators1 %e expla9$1 & proce$$ to assure me t no picture or bu/ ( h]self exi/$1 nor ev] %\ld4 ,happily ,i _h n ask$ h] to sit = me4 ,%e practically told me t ,i 0 do+ ,l59's head to take back to ,engl& to %[ to ! idle curi\s4 ,i correct$ h] by say+ t1 s f> z ! public 0 conc]n$1 ,i only wi%$ to enable ^? :o _h him at pres5t repres5t$ by a photograph1 to sub/itute a bu/4 ,%e 0 equally vehem5t ab\t ! photograph4 ,p]haps %e expects to alt] human nature4 ,be=e ,i got out ( ! c>1 %e assur$ me t h] tirade 0 9 no way p]sonal & w\ld ,i1 please1 n misund]/& h]4 ,,octob] #ad,,?4 ,mi*ael ,borod9 f\nd me aft] breakfa/1 mis]ably wrapp$ 9 my rug1 %iv]+ ) cold & depression1 & ) te>s irrepressibly /ream+ d[n my face4 ,i _h sev]al grievances :i* _h be5 accumulat+ = "s days1 & at la/ my pati5ce _h come to a head4 ,! fact is ,i _h he>d ( a c\ri] hav+ arriv$ ye/]day f ,london1 & no "o _h tak5 ! tr\ble to f9d out if !re 7 any lett]s = me4 ,ev] s9ce ,i left ,engl& on ,septemb] #aa? ,i h n _h "o ^w ( news1 nor answ]s to two telegrams t ,kam5eff s5t = me ask+ aft] ! *ildr54 ,secondly1 ,i _h n be5 giv5 ! coat t ,kam5eff _h ord]$ = me1 s x 0 impossible to g out z x 0 too cold4 ,mi*ael = ! fir/ "t seem$ really mov$4 ,he wrapp$ me r\nd 9 8 fur coat1 w5t (f to ! g>d5 & fet*$ up a load ( wood = me 7,i _h nev] kn[n him d su* a ?+ be=e71 & lit my fire himself4 ,!n he telephon$ to ! ,=eign ,(fice4 ,!re 7 no lett]s = me1 b "s bundles = ,kam5eff4 ,he also got hold ( ,comrade ,alex&re on ! telephone to "k :5 ,i 0 go+ to h ! promis$ coat1 & altoge!r 0 v helpful4 ,8 j\rney to ,madrid has be5 delay$ daily1 b he is to />t to-morr[4 ,x seems to me t 9 ,russia "o only kn[s ab\t t5 m9utes be=eh& :at "o is go+ to d6 ,!y are div9ely vague4 ,,octob] #ae,,?4 ,i w5t to ! ,kreml9 to meet ,comrade ,alex&re !re at midday3 he 0 to br+ me a soldi] z a model4 ,n feel+ brave en\gh to g & review a platoon & make my own selection1 ,i _h describ$ exactly :at ,i want$3 n ! blood?ir/y savage ,bol%evik ( ,engli% tradition1 b ! dreamy-ey$ "y ,slav :o kn[s :at he is fight+ =1 & su* z ,i pass$ e day on ! p>ade gr\nd4 ,i wait$ 9 my /udio impati5tly till #b o'clock1 & !n ,alex&re arriv$ accompani$ by a soldi] :o 0 typically nei!r ,russian1 nor milit>y1 nor intellectual1 nor ev5 f9e physically4 ,he 0 small1 :ite1 *tif1 & _h a wax$ m\/a*e4 ,x 0 a bad mom5t4 ,i tri$ to hide my disappo9tm5t & my amusem5t4 ,i miss$ lun*+ 9 ord] to "w on him1 & began some?+ t 0 n 9 ! lea/ l my model1 b 0 ! product ( my imag9ation4 ,at #e ,i came home tir$ & hungry & cold4 ,i lay d[n on my s(a & wat*$ ! dusk crawl up beh9d ! ,kreml94 ,at #h4cj ,i 0 call$ d[n to ! telephone1 :i* is 9 ! kit*54 ,x 0 ,borod9 speak+ f ! ,=eign ,(fice4 ,he said 8good-bye0 9 8 abrupt mann]4 8,?is is ! "r way10 he said4 8,?is is ! way x %\ld be40 ,! maid 0 ?r[+ h] broom ar\nd ! kit*51 mak+ z mu* noise z possible1 & a /range man gl>$ at me out ( ! gloom4 ,i f\nd x difficult to conc5trate my att5tion4 ,mi*ael kn[s t ,i d n believe 9 8futures10 b nev]!less we said 8som$ay10 & ,i wond] v mu* if t /range ,communi/-,revolution>y1 ) 8 mask-l face & deep voice1 w ev] cross my pa? aga94 ,to-night ,i regret him1 b !n ,i am lonely = ! mom5t--fri5dless1 & ?is is a place :]e "o ne$s fri5ds4 ,at #i o'clock1 n hav+ eat5 s9ce #aj a4m41 ,i w5t d[n/airs to r\nd-up "s food4 ,!re1 to my surprise1 ,i met ,litv9(f1 :o _h be5 9 ,mosc[ s9ce ! day be=e ye/]day4 ,our pleasure at see+ ea* o!r aga9 0 mutual & spontane\s4 ,he is com+ to /ay at our h\se1 & w occupy ! vacat$ room ( ,borod94 ,,octob] #af,,?4 ,comrade ,alex&re came to see me at #i p4m41 to tell me t he c\ld n arrange ) ,trotsky = sitt+s4 ,i ga!r$ t ,trotsky _h be5 emphatic & brusque 9 8 refusal1 b aft] all1 ,i h done ,l591 & he is ! "o :o c\nts mo/4 ,i c g back to ,engl& )\t ! head ( ,trotsky1 b ,i c\ld n h gone )\t ! head ( ,l594 ,i h accompli%$ :at ,i came =1 & s to hell ) ,trotsky6 ,alex&re said he c\ld only /ay t5 m9utes1 b he left at midnight4 ,he talk$ ,communism ! :ole "t4 ,n[ ,borod9 unfurl$ 8 ,communi/ _s to me sl[ly1 because he knew me1 & to :at ,i belong$1 & he realis$ t ! ?+ hurl$ at me 9 a crude mass w\ld /agg] me4 ,he l$ me up to x ) great caution4 ,alex&re1 on ! o!r h&1 ) no und]/&+ or sympa?y1 took all my inborn prejudices & j broke !m1 /amp$ on !m1 metaphorically spat on !m1 & gave me a big fe$ ( unadult]at$ ,communism4 ,he is a fanatic1 & left me brea?less & wond]+4 ,all 0 well until we got to ! *ildr5 "p3 he said t 8 wife _h to "w1 s _! baby1 :o is six weeks old1 has to g by day to ! ,cr*e4 8,are y satisfi$ ) ! c>e x gets at ! ,cr*e80 ,i ask$ him4 ,he %rugg$ 8 %\ld]s1 said t collectively !y c\ld n receive ! same att5tion z !y w\ld if !y 7 c>$ = individually4 ,he !n volunte]$ ! in=mation t ( c\rse ! baby 0 m liable to get ill & ev5 die if x 0 9 ! ,cr*e1 b t x 0 a *ance1 & aft] all 8 wife's life 0 n go+ to be r$uc$ to fe$+1 wa%+1 & dress+ a baby4 ,t 0 no sort ( exi/5ce1 & s1 :at alt]native 0 !re except ! ,cr*e8 ,x 0 ! cold1 dispassionate way 9 :i* he said x t gave me ! creeps4 8,:at is y\r wife's "w80 ,i said4 8,politics1 same z m9e10 he said4 8,are y fond ( y\r baby80 8,yes40 8,is y\r wife fond ( x80 8,yes40 ,i ?\ght to myself t %e has n _h to pray = a baby1 & weep because ! mon?s w5t by4 ,%e has n _h to wait1 & wait--x is n inf9itely preci\s to h]1 h] baby4 ,he !n c\nt]-que/ion$ me3 8,:at did y d ) y\r *ildr5 :5 y became a wid[ & _h no home80 8,my p>5ts took !m40 8,& if y _h _h no p>5ts :o c\ld take !m8 ,h[ c\ld y h work$80 ,x is true t !re mu/ be ?\s&s ( wom5 :o e>n _! liv+ & h no family 9 ! backgr\nd on :om to plant ! baby4 ,:at happ5s 9 a c\ntry :]e !re is no pat]nal ,/ate8 ,9 ,russia ! ,/ate w clo!1 fe$ & educate !m f bir? until f\rte5 ye>s ( age4 ,!y may g to ! ,cr*e = ! day or p]man5tly4 ,*ildr5 may g to ! ,/ate s*ool = ! half day1 :ole day1 or to bo>d4 ,_! p>5ts may see !m1 or give !m up = ev]1 z !y *oose1 & !re is no diff]5ce made betwe5 ! legitimate & ,illu/ration3 ,,trotsky1 ,,f ,a ,,draw+4 p4 #abi4 ! illegitimate *ild4 ,moreov]1 accord+ to ! lab\r laws1 no woman may "w = eight weeks be=e ! baby is born1 nor = eight weeks aft] bir?4 ,%e is s5t away to a re/h\se 9 ! c\ntry1 always ( c\rse at ! ,/ate's exp5se4 ,on application %e is giv5 ! necess>y layette = ! new born4 ,x is difficult to pres]ve "o's mat]nal s5tim5tality 9 ! face ( ?is ,communi/ic g5]osity4 ,,octob] #ag,,?4 ,i /ay$ 9 b$ all day z ,i felt ill1 & !re 0 no?+ bett] to d4 ,litv9(f came 9 to see me 9 ! aft]noon & 0 surpris$ t ,i _h n begun to "w on ,trotsky4 ,i expla9$ to him t1 ?r\gh ,comrade ,alex&re1 ,trotsky _h flatly refus$ to let me d him4 ,litv9(f c\ld n und]/& ?is1 b said he _h se5 ,trotsky la/ night4 ,x 0 !n decid$ t ,litv9(f w\ld see ,trotsky aga9 dur+ ! day1 & telephone to me :at arrangem5ts he c\ld make4 ,he !n left me1 to come back aga9 9 a few m9utes br++ some?+ preci\sly 9 bo? h&s4 ,x 0 a h5's egg4 ,z ,i h n se5 "o s9ce ,i h be5 9 ,mosc[1 ,i /ifl$ my in/9ctive av]sion to accept+ valuable pres5ts f m5 & _h ! egg fri$ = d9n]4 ,,octob] #ah,,?4 ,trotsky's c> came = me punctually at #aa4cj a4m4 7usually ! c>s t are ord]$ are an h\r late1 & p keep _! appo9tm5ts two h\rs late4 ,trotsky & ,l59 are1 ,i he>1 ! only two exceptions to ! rule74 ,i made ,litv9(f come & tell ! *auffeur t he 0 fir/ to g to ! ,kreml9 ) me to fet* my ?+s4 ,:5 we got to ! big r\nd build+ 9 ! ,kreml9 9 :i* ,i h my /udio1 ,i took ! *auffeur to ! pass (fice & expla9$ by signs by %[+ my own pass t ,i requir$ "o = ! *auffeur4 ,?is 0 done4 ,x is satisfactory to h arriv$ at ! /age :5 ,i get ! pass = someone else1 in/ead ( someone else gett+ x = me4 ,kam5eff told me ! o!r day t ,i walk into ! ,kreml9 ) ! air ( "o :o belong$ to x4 ,trotsky's *auffeur1 myself1 & ! pla/] m\ld] :o 0 !re work+1 c>ri$ ! ?+s d[n to ! c>1 & ,i 0 driv5 to a place "s way (f1 ! ,w> ,m9i/ry1 ,i ?9k4 ,gett+ 9 0 n easy1 z ,i _h no pass1 & !re 0 an alt]cation ) ! s5try4 ,i und]/ood ! *auffeur expla9+3 8,yes1 yes1 x's ! ,engli% sculptor10 b ! s5try 0 adamant4 ,he %rugg$ 8 %\ld]s1 said he didn't c>e1 & made a blank face4 ,i _h to wait until a secret>y came to fet* me4 ,he took me up/airs1 ?r\gh two rooms ( soldi]-secret>ies4 ,9 ! end room !re 0 a door gu>d$ by a s5try1 & next to t door a big writ+ table f :i* someone telephon$ ?r\gh into ! next room to "k if ,i c\ld come 94 ,unlike ,l59's1 n ev5 8 secret>ies g 9 to see ,trotsky )\t telephon+ fir/ = p]mission4 ,x 0 n )\t "s trepidation1 hav+ he>d h[ v intractable he is1 & kn[+ 8 si/]1#g t ,i 0 u%]$ 9--,i & my modell+ /& & my clay toge!r4 ,i _h in/antly ! pleasurable s5sation ( a room t is sympa!tic1 big1 well-proportion$ & simple4 ,f beh9d an enorm\s writ+ table 9 "o corn] ne> ! w9d[ came =? ,trotsky4 ,he %ook h&s ) me welcom+ly1 ?\gh )\t a smile1 & ask$ if ,i talk$ ,fr5*4 ,he (f]$ c\rte\sly to assi/ me 9 mov+ my /& into ! "r place1 & ev5 to h 8 mammo? table mov$ into "s o!r position if ! light 0 n "r4 ,! light f ! two w9d[s 0 c]ta9ly v bad1 b al?\gh he said3 8,move any?+ & d j :atev] y l10 !re 0 no?+ "o c\ld d t w\ld help4 ,! room1 :i* w\ld h made a beautiful ballroom1 loom$ l>ge & d>k4 ,!re 7 huge :ite columns :i* got 9 my way & hamp]$ ! light4 ,my he>t sank at ! difficulties ( ! situation4 ,i look$ at my man1 :o 0 b5d+ d[n1 writ+ at 8 desk4 ,impossible to see 8 face4 ,i look$ at him & !n at my clay1 9 despair4 ,!n ,i w5t & knelt 9 front ( ! writ+ table opposite him1 ) my *9 on 8 pap]s4 ,he look$ up f 8 writ+ & />$ back1 a p]fectly /eady1 unaba%$ />e4 ,8 look 0 a solemn1 analytical "o1 p]haps m9e 0 too4 ,aft] a few seconds1 realis+ ! absurdity ( our attitudes1 ,i _h to laugh1 & said3 8,i hope y don't m9d be+ look$ at40 8,i don't m9d10 he said4 8,i h my revan*e 9 look+ at y1 & x is ,i :o ga940 ,he !n ord]$ a fire to be lit because he ?\ght x 0 cold = me4 ,x 0 n cold1 x 0 ov]heat$1 b ! s\nd & sight ( ! fire 7 nice4 ,a matronly peasant-woman ) a h&k]*ief ti$ r\nd h] head came & lit x4 ,he said he lik$ h] because %e walk$ s(tly1 & _h a musical voice4 ,curi\s t he %\ld admire 9 ano!r :at is s *>act]i/ic ( himself2 8 voice is unusually melodi\s4 ,illu/ration3 ,,ni*olas ,,&rev4 ,see+ t he 0 prep>$ to be amiable1 ,i ask$ him if ,i c\ld bo!r him ) measurem5ts4 8,t\t ce que v\s v\drez10 he said1 & po9t$ out to me h[ unsymmetrical 8 face is4 ,he op5$ 8 m\? & snapp$ 8 tee? to %[ me t 8 und]jaw is crook$1 & z he did s he rem9d$ me ( a sn>l+ wolf4 ,:5 he talks 8 face lights up & 8 eyes fla%4 ,trotsky's eyes are mu* talk$ ( 9 ,russia1 & he is call$ 8! wolf40 ,8 nose also is crook$ & looks z ?\gh x _h be5 brok54 ,if x 7 /raight he w\ld h a v f9e l9e f ! =ehead4 ,full-face he is ,mephi/o4 ,8 eyebr[s g up at an angle1 & ! l[] "p ( 8 face tap]s into a po9t$ & defiant be>d4 ,z ,i measur$ him ) calip]s1 he rem>k$3 8,v\s me c>essez avec des in/rum5ts d'aci]40 ,he talks v rapid1 & v flu5t ,fr5*1 & c\ld easily be mi/ak5 = a ,fr5*man4 ,i dragg$ my modell+ /& across ! room to try = a bett] light on ! o!r side4 ,he wat*$ me ) a we>y look1 & said3 8,ev5 9 clay y make me travel1 & ,i am s tir$ ( travell+40 ,he expla9$ to me t he is n z desp]ately busy z usual because !re is ,peace ) ,pol&1 & good news f ! ,s\?4 ,i told him t ,i _h ne>ly gone to ! ,s\!rn front ) ,kal991 :o want$ to take me1 b t ,kam5eff w\ldn't let me g because x 0 a troop tra94 ,)\t hesitat+ a mom5t he answ]$3 8,d y want to g to ! front8 ,y c come ) me40 ,he 0 ?\ghtful = a:ile1 & !n ask$ me3 8,are y "u ! c>e "h ( our ,=eign ,(fice80 ,i said ,i 0 n4 8,b :o are y "h )8 ,:o is responsible = y80 8,kam5eff10 ,i said4 8,b ,kam5eff is at ! front40 8,yes40 8,!n y are alone8 ,h'm1 t is v dang]\s 9 a revolution>y c\ntry4 ,d y "k ,k>ahan1 ,t*i*]9's secret>y80 8,yes2 he is liv+ 9 our h\se1 s is ,litv9(f40 8,ah1 ,litv9(f1 ,i w r+ him up40 ,he did r+ him up1 b :at he said ,i c\ld n und]/&4 ,litv9(f told me lat] t ,trotsky _h ask$ him if ,i 0 all "r1 & if x w\ld be indiscreet or n to %[ me ! front4 ,litv9(f gave me a good "*4 ,at #d o'clock he ord]$ tea1 & _h "s ) me4 ,he talk$ to me ab\t himself1 & ( 8 w&]+s 9 exile dur+ ! w>1 & h[1 f9ally1 at ! outbreak ( ! ,revolution1 he sail$ on a neutral %ip f ! ,unit$ ,/ates to return to ,russia2 h[ ! ,briti% arre/$ him & took him to a ,canadian conc5tration camp4 ,he 0 deta9$ a few mon?s1 until ! ,russian ,gov]nm5t succe$$ 9 obta9+ 8 release4 ,he 0 p>ticul>ly inc5s$ at ! ,briti% int]f]+ ) ! movem5ts ( a man :o 0 n go+ to ,brita91 nor f a ,briti% colony1 nor by a ,briti% %ip3 8,b ,i _h a good "t 9 t camp10 he said4 8,!re 7 a lot ( ,g]man sailors !re1 & ,i did "s propag&a "w4 ,by ! "t ,i left !y 7 all good revolution>ies1 & ,i /ill get lett]s f "s ( !m40 ,at #e ,i prep>$ to leave4 ,he said t ,i look$ tir$4 ,i said ,i 0 tir$ f battl+ ) my "w 9 su* a bad light4 ,he sugge/$ try+ by electric light1 & we agre$ on #g o'clock ! next ev5+4 ,he s5t me home 9 8 c>4 ,,octob] #ai,,?4 ,trotsky's c> came at #f4cj4 ,ni*olas ,&rev _h be5 hav+ tea ) me1 & ,i (f]$ to give him a lift1 z he lives some:]e ne> ! ,w> ,m9i/ry4 ,x 0 sn[+ h>d & !re 0 a driv+ w9d1 :i* lift$ up ! froz5 sn[ & blew x ab\t l :ite smoke4 ,! c> _h a hood1 b no sides4 ,9 ! ,r$ ,squ>e we punctur$4 ,= "s "t we sat pati5tly wat*+ ! pass]s-by fall+ d[n on ! slipp]y pavem5t1 & ! horse-c>ts /ruggl+ up ! hill4 ,w9t] has come v sudd5ly & "o mon? too soon4 ,! horses h n yet be5 %od = ! slipp]y roads1 consequ5tly !y c h>dly /& up4 ,?is morn+ ,i c\nt$ f\r d[n all at ! same mom5t4 ,9 ,london a fall5 horse attracts a good deal ( att5tion1 & a cr[d collects1 b "h no "o ev5 turns 8 head to look4 ,i h be5 mu* laugh$ at because ,i /op to wat*1 b ! me?od ( gett+ ! horse up amuses me4 ,! driv] 7man or woman1 z ! case may be7 gets beh9d & pu%es ! c>t4 ,! horse1 s weak t he has no resi/+ p[]1 impell$ =w>d by ! %afts1 /ruggles to 8 feet 9 spite ( himself4 ,no unh>ness+ is necess>y4 ,?is ev5+1 :5 ,i became too cold to be int]e/$ any long] by ! pass]s-by fall+ 9 ! squ>e1 ,i ask$ ! *auffeur if he _h ne>ly f9i%$4 ,he answ]$ 8,si*as0 :i* lit]ally translat$ is 8imm$iately10 b 9 practice means to-morr[1 or next week6 ,s ,i pull$ up ! fur coll> ( my inadequate clo? coat1 put my feet up l5g?ways on ! seat1 & let ,&rev sit on !m to keep !m w>m4 ,i arriv$ at ,trotsky's at #g4cj4 ,he look$ at me & !n at ! clock4 ,i expla9$ :at _h happ5$4 8,s t is ! reason ( y\r inexactitude10 he said2 an inexactitude :i* c\ld n 9 ! lea/ inconv5i5ce him z he did n h to wait = me4 ,he kiss$ my froz5 h&1 & put two *airs = me by ! fire1 "o = me & "o = my feet4 ,:5 ,i _h melt$ & turn$ on all ! lights ( ! cry/al c&elabra he said3 8,we w h an agreem5t1 q bus9esslike2 ,i %all come & /& by ! side ( y\r "w = five m9utes e half h\r40 ,( c\rse ! five m9utes got v enl>g$1 & we talk$ & work$ & lo/ all track ( "t4 ,:5 ! telephone rang he ask$3 8,h ,i y\r p]mission80 ,8 mann]s are *>m+4 ,i said to him3 8,i _c get ov] x1 h[ amiable & c\rte\s y are4 ,i und]/ood y 7 a v disagreeable man4 ,:at am ,i to say to p 9 ,engl& :5 !y ask me3 #8,:at sort ( a mon/] is ,trotsky8'0 ,) a mis*iev\s look he said3 8,tell !m 9 ,engl&1 tell !m----0 7b ,i _c tell !m67 ,i said to him3 8,y are n a bit l y\r si/]40 ,! %ad[ ( a smile cross$ 8 face1 b he did n answ]4 ,i %[$ him photographs ( my "w & he kept ! ones ( ! 8,victory40 ,among ! portraits he lik$ 8,asqui?0 be/1 & said t t "o 0 work$ ) m feel+ & c>e ?an any ( ! o!rs4 ,he took = grant$ t ,asqui? mu/ l me1 :i* is n necess>ily ! case1 & said half-laugh+ly3 8,y h giv5 me an idea--if ,asqui? comes back into (fice soon 7!re is a rum\r t he might br+ 9 a ,coalition ) ,lab\r1 & recognise ,russia7 ,i w hold y z a ho/age until ,engl& makes peace ) u40 ,i laugh$3 8,:at y are say+ humor\sly is :at a ,briti% (ficial told me s]i\sly1 only he said x propos ( ,w9/on4 ,z a matt] ( fact1 ,i'd be pr\d if ,i c\ld be ( any use 9 ! cause ( ,peace4 ,b if y said y w\ld %oot me1 ,w9/on w\ld only say #8%oot1'0--:i* is1 to my m9d1 ! "r _s1 & exactly ! _s t prevails among ! ,bol%eviks4 ,!y w\ld n hesitate to %oot me 7"s ( !m h told me s7 if x 7 necess>y1 ev5 if !y lik$ me z a woman4 ,w9/on is ! only man ,i "k 9 ,engl& :o is made ( ! /uff t ,bol%eviks are made (4 ,he has fight1 =ce & fanaticism4 ,t[>ds ! end ( ! ev5+1 z ,trotsky said no?+ m ab\t ! project ( my go+ to ! front1 ,i ask$ him if he _h decid$ to take me or n4 ,he said3 8,x is = y to decide if y wi% to come--b ,i %all n />t = ?ree or f\r days40 ,x 0 gett+ late & he look$ v tir$4 ,he 0 /&+ 9 front ( ! clay ) 8 back to x1 s t ,i _h ! two pr(iles exactly 9 l9e4 ,8 eyes 7 %ut & he sway$4 ,= a mom5t ,i fe>$ he 0 go+ to fa9t4 ,"o does n ?9k ( ,trotsky z a man :o fa9ts1 b any?+ may happ5 to a man :o works z he does4 ,my ?\ght 0 ( my "w1 & ,i said to him3 8,d n fall backw>d1 or y fall on my "w40 ,he answ]$ quickly3 8,je tombe t\j\rs en avant60 ,i ask$ him to ord] ! motor1 hav+ realis$ t unless he s5ds = x ,i h to wait outside 9 ! cold or look = x 9 ! g>age4 ,:ile ! c> 0 com+ r\nd he s5t = a reproduction ( a portrait ( himself by an arti/ fri5d ( 81 to %[ me t ! same difficulties t ,i am hav+ ) 8 jaw & *91 7 exp]i5c$ also by ! draughtsman :o only succe$$ 9 ?is1 ! la/ ( a great _m sket*es4 ,x is evid5tly "o t ,trotsky likes1 = x is reproduc$ 9 col\r 9 almo/ e (fice "o goes into4 ,i told him ,i want$ x & he wrote ^u x 8,tov>is*10 :i* means ,comrade 8,cl>e ,%]idan10 & sign$ x4 ,?is has its effect on ! ,bol%eviks :o h be5 into my room & se5 x4 ,,octob] #bj,,?4 ,comrade ,alex&re telephon$ t he w\ld fet* me at #a o'clock to g to ! fur /ore4 ,i suppose ! int5se cold _h at la/ mov$ ei!r 8 pity or 8 anxiety = me4 ,be=e ,i left ,v&]lip said t if !re 7 any *oice1 & ,i 0 fool en\gh n to *oose a sable coat1 he w\ld nev] speak to me aga94 ,! ?reat left me unmov$4 ,x is only on occasions ( necessity1 :5 we ex*ange valuable pres5ts 7say a new too? bru% = a box ( pills71 t we h an armi/ice4 ,on ! way to ! fur /ore ,alex&re pick$ up ano!r man1 unkn[n b v nice1 ) :om ,i talk$ a mixture ( ,engli% & ,g]man4 ,we w5t to "o ( ! bigge/ /ore-h\ses 9 ,mosc[1 :i*1 l all ! re/1 _h be5 a private firm1 b has be5 requisition$ by ! ,gov]nm5t4 ,x 0 a cave-l build+1 d>k & /one cold4 ,we w5t up 9 a cage lift to :at seem$ to be ! attic4 ,x 0 l[ & long & d>k1 & an arc-light b>ely lit up ! corn]4 ,coats hung f ! ceil+ l s _m hundr$ ,bluebe>d wives4 ,i took (f m9e to try on4 ,an old man :o look$ l ,moses & spoke ,g]man %[$ me ! be/ & told me to make my *oice4 ,alex&re look$ on ) a grim smile1 & ask$ if ,i 7 ! prov]bial woman1 or :e!r ,i w\ld make my *oice )9 reasonable limits ( "t4 ,x 0 n easy4 ,! coats dat$ back ?ree ye>s1 & "s 7 ev5 too old-fa%ion$ = ,mosc[4 ,i lik$ a br[n ,sib]ian pony l9$ ) erm9e1 b ! mo? _h got into ! pony4 ,i lik$ a broadtail1 b x 0 ?9 z clo?2 !y (f]$ to h x fur-l9$ = me1 b my ne$ 0 imm$iate4 ,!re 0 a m9k1 b x _h an old-fa%ion$ fl\nce4 ,!re 7 a/ra*ans1 b ev]yone 9 ,mosc[ has a/ra*an1 x seem$ too ord9>y4 ,i felt bewild]$4 ,my att5tion !n w&]$ to a r[ ( %ubas3 big sleeveless cloaks ( velvet1 t wrap ar\nd "o1 & desc5d to "o's feet4 ,!re 0 a dream l9$ ) blue fox1 & ano!r ) :ite4 ,my fri5ds put "o r\nd my %\ld]s1 x 0 l9$ ) sable3 light z a fea!r1 & w>m z a ne/4 ,i despair+ly voic$ ! fact t ,i c\ld n walk ab\t ! /reets ( ,mosc[ 9 a w9e col\r$ velvet & sable cape4 ,!y said ,i c\ld1 b !n !y 7 wrong4 8,i look mu* too b\rgeoise1 ,i %all be %ot60 8,y won't be %ot1 & sable is good en\gh = a good work]40 ,i %[$ a sable /ole to ,alex&re & told him x 0 ! blacke/ & mo/ beautiful bit ( sable "o c\ld f9d4 ,he %rugg$ 8 %\ld]s ) p]fect indiff]5ce1 & said he knew no?+ ab\t x4 ,f9ally ,i walk$ out 9 a v practical black ,sib]ian pony l9$ ) grey squirrel1 div9ely w>m1 ?\gh r heavy1 & ,alex&re said to me3 8,n[ y c say t y h %>$ 9 ! ,gov]nm5t di/ribution ( b\rgeois prop]ty to ! p40 ,at #g4cj pm4 ,trotsky s5t 8 c> = me1 b a soldi] /opp$ u be=e we ev5 rea*$ ! block :]e ! ,w> ,m9i/ry is4 ,! :ole bit ( road 0 be+ especially gu>d$4 ,! reason = ?is is t =eign pap]s h ann\nc$ an imp5d+ c\nt]-,revolution1 b if !re is any su* plot _! w>n+ has be5 giv5 mo/ oblig+ly 9 "t1 & /eps h be5 tak5 to deal ) x4 ,! t[n is plac>d$ ) notices t inhabitants mu/ n be out aft] midnight4 ,x gave "o j a small ?rill1 & !re h be5 none s f>4 ,?is ev5+ :5 ,i arriv$ ,trotsky /ood by ! fire :ile ,i 0 w>m+1 & ,i ask$ him = news4 ,he says t ! ,g]man work]s h vot$ 9 fav\r ( jo9+ ! ,mosc[ ,int]national :i* is v important4 8,engl& is our only real & dang]\s enemy10 he said4 8,n ,france80 ,i ask$4 8,no1 ,france is j a noisy1 hy/]ical woman1 mak+ sc5es3 b ,engl&--t is diff]5t altoge!r40 ,he talk$ ab\t ! p]si/5ce ( ! =eign ,press 9 decry+ ! /ability ( ! ,soviet ,gov]nm5t4 ,all ! gov]nm5ts ( ,europe1 he said1 _h und]gone *anges 9 ! la/ ?ree ye>s1 he po9t$ to ,france1 ,italy1 ! ,c5tral ,p[]s1 ,turkey1 & f9ally ,pol&4 ,! ,briti% ,gov]nm5t 0 hold+ out long] ?an any o!r1 b t 0 pretty rocky1 & its m9i/]s 7 con/antly *ang+ _! po/s4 ,! ,soviet ,gov]nm5t 0 ! olde/ gov]nm5t 9 ,europe1 & ! only "o 9 :i* ! m9i/]s reta9$ _! po/s & display$ any unity1 & ?is is spite ( e ef=t on ! "p ( ! _w to dislodge !m4 ,he !n busi$ himself at 8 table ) pap]s4 ,i work$ = an h\r & we nev] spoke1 b he nev] disreg>d$ me z ,l59 did4 ,i c\ld walk r\nd ,l59 & look at him f all sides1 he rema9$ absorb$ 9 8 read+1 & app>5tly oblivi\s ( my pres5ce4 ,:5ev] ,i g ne> ,trotsky he looks up f 8 "w %>ply ) pi]c+ eyes & ,i =get :i* "p ( 8 face ,i 0 int5t ^u4 ,t[>ds ! end ( ! ev5+1 :5 ev5 my tiptoe /alk+ _h ar\s$ him1 he ask$ me3 8,avez v\s beso9 de moi40 ,i repli$ yes1 z always4 ,he came & /ood by ! clay1 b he is v critical1 & wat*es x & me all ! "t1 & makes me n]v\s4 ,i undid & did ov] aga9 a good deal4 ,! room 0 hot1 & ! clay got dry1 x 0 uphill "w4 ,nev] h ,i done anyone s difficult4 ,he is subtle & irregul>4 ,at "o mom5t ! bu/ look$ l ,scipio ,africanus1 & ,i c\ld see he 0 dissatisfi$1 !n :5 ,i _h alt]$ x & ask$ him :at he ?\ght he /ood = "s "t 9 sil5ce ) a suppress$ smile be=e he let himself g3 8,x looks l a ,fr5* bon b\rgeois1 :o admires ! woman :o is do+ him1 b he has no connection ) ,communism40 ,happily ! peasant woman came 9 ) tea1 & ,i sat d[n we>ily ) my head 9 my h&s1 utt]ly dispirit$ & disc\rag$4 ,only ! fi]ce det]m9ation to make x come "r r\s$ me & ,i w5t at x aga94 ,he said1 z he wat*$ me3 8,:5 y\r tee? are cl5*$ & y are fight+ ) y\r "w1 v\s tes encore femme40 ,i ask$ him to take (f 8 p9ce-nez1 z !y hamp]$ me4 ,he hates do+ ?is1 he says he feels ds>m & absolutely lo/ )\t !m4 ,x seem$ ak9 to physical pa9 tak+ !m (f--!y h become "p ( him & ! loss ( !m completely *anges 8 individuality4 ,x is a pity1 z !y r spoil an o!rwise classical head4 ,:ile he 0 /&+ !re helplessly ) half-clos$ eyes1 he rem>k$ on my "n be+ ,illu/ration3 ,,trotsky ,,at ,,! ,,front4 spelt 9 ! same way z t ( ! playwright4 ,i expla9$ t ,i _h m>ri$ a direct desc5dant4 ,he 0 int]e/$ & said1 8,! ,s*ool = ,sc&al0 & 8,! ,rivals10 _h be5 translat$ & 7 occasionally act$ "h 9 ,russian4 ,he !n got on to ,%akespe>e4 ,i wi% ,i c\ld recall ! words 9 :i* he describ$ 8 appreciation1 exclaim+ f9ally3 8,if ,engl& _h nev] produc$ any?+ else1 %e w\ld h ju/ifi$ h] exi/5ce40 ,we disagre$ z to ,byron & ,%elley4 ,he1 l o!rs ,i h met "h1 pref]r$ ,byron1 & insi/$ 9 spite ( my ass]tions to ! contr>y t ,byron 0 ! great] ,revolution>y ( ! two4 ,he 0 surpris$ t ,i lov$ ,sw9burne4 ,he said he w\ld h ?\ght me too mu* ( ?is _w to love ! spirituality ( ,sw9burne4 ,i said3 8,"o has "o's dreams40 ,he gave a sigh4 8,yes10 he said1 8we all h our dreams----0 ,:51 at ! end ( ! ev5+1 ,i 0 dissatisfi$ ) my "w & feel+ suicidal ,i ask$ him3 8,may ,i come back & "w to-morr[ night80 8,& ! night aft]10 he answ]$1 & add$ laugh+1 t he w\ld rig ! place up z a /udio = me1 & t ,i c\ld d ,g5]al ,kam5eff aft] ,i'd f9i%$ him4 ,g5]al ,kam5eff 7:o is no relation to ,leo ,kam5eff7 is ! ,comm&]-9-,*ief1 & 0 a v di/+ui%$ ,ts>i/ (fic]4 ,i he> t he /rongly w>n$ ! ,w> ,m9i/ry aga9/ advanc+ too f> t[>ds ,w>saw1 & =etold ! dbcle t has s9ce be5 fulfill$4 ,b he 0 n li/5$ to1 p]haps because ( 8 ,ts>i/ tradition4 ,probably 8 op9ion is m respect$ n[4 ,trotsky ask$ me if ,i w\ld l to d ,t*i*]91 & ,i expla9$ t nev] be=e _h ,i work$ "u su* difficult conditions1 & t al?\gh ,i _h made ef=ts = ,l59 & himself ,i did n feel l do+ x aga9 = anyone else4 ,he 0 q indignant & said3 8,:at difficulty h y _h 9 work+ "h80 ,true x 0 a p]fectly good room & excell5t light1 b ,t*i*]9 w\ld n move out ( 8 ,commiss>iat & t w\ld mean new conditions to adapt oneself to1 nor does anyone und]/& ! difficulties ( mov+ ! f9i%$ "w back to ! ,kreml94 ,trotsky swept my excuses aside3 8,( c\rse y mu/ d ,t*i*]9--x is almo/ a diplomatic obligation on 8 "p to be done40 ,x 0 a qu>t] to midnight :5 ,i prep>$ to /op "w & look$ desp]ately at ! clock3 8,:at ab\t ?is ord]--h[ am ,i to be home ,illu/ration3 ,,bu/ ,,( ,,trotsky4 p4 #adg4 at midnight80 ,i ask$4 ,he said1 8,i w take y myself40 ,at ab\t half aft] midnight we left4 ,a man 9 uni=m jo9$ u & sat next to ! driv]4 ,he _h 9 8 h&s a v big lea!r hol/]4 ,we />t$ (f by go+ 9 ! opposite direction to ! "r "o1 & ,i _h to try & describe ! way to !m4 ,we turn$ back1 & cross+ ! bridge we 7 /opp$ by five soldi]s4 ,! man ) ! hol/] _h to %[ our pap]s by ! light ( ! c> lamp4 ,x delay$ u sev]al m9utes4 ,i said to ,trotsky3 8,put y\r head out ( ! w9d[ & say :o y are40 8,taisez-v\s10 said ,trotsky p]emptorily4 ,i sat rebuk$ & sil5t until we 7 able to pass on unrecognis$4 ,he expla9$ aft]w>ds t he did n want !m to he> a woman's voice 9 ! c> talk+ ,engli%4 ,i 0 talk+ ,fr5* z we always d toge!r1 & did n see t x matt]$ to anyone 9 ?is c\ntry :e!r !re is a woman 9 a ,gov]nm5t c> or n--b ,i did n argue4 ,,octob] #ba,,/4 ,i did v little dur+ ! day1 s z to be fre% = my night's "w1 ?\gh ,i w5t to see my fri5d ! pla/]-m\ld] :o is work+ = s _m ?\s& r\bles a day 9 my /udio4 ,he is mak+ piece m\lds ( ! bu/s1 s t ,i c leave duplicates :5 ,i g4 ,i ask$ ,&rev :y he _h to be paid s mu*4 ,&rev expla9$ t he is ! only m\ld] 9 ,mosc[1 s he c ask :at he likes3 8,he says he w "w = ?is & n = t10 & ,&rev held a ?\s& r\ble note 9 "o h& & a hundr$ r\ble note 9 ! o!r4 8,b x is all ! same really1 only x is a diff]5t patt]n10 & he laugh$4 ,c]ta9ly money has no value "h1 & no mean+4 ,at #h o'clock ,i w5t back aga9 to ! ,w> ,commiss>iat 9 ,trotsky's c>4 ,on arrival ,i told him t ,i _h got to get ?is "w "r to-night1 & t he 0 n to be critical & look at x all ! "t & make me n]v\s4 ,he 0 surpris$2 said t he _h no idea t he _h t effect on me1 t all he want$ 0 to help3 8,je veux travaill] cela avec v\s40 ,8 criticism1 he said1 0 caus$ by int5se int]e/1 & t = no?+ 9 ! _w w\ld he be disc\rag+4 ,he promis$1 h[ev]1 to be good1 & (f] no op9ion until ask$4 ,x 0 a bett] night = "w2 ,i felt calm] & x w5t pretty well4 ,! wor/ difficulties 7 surm\nt$4 ,trotsky /ood = me 9 a good light & dictat$ to 8 /5ograph]4 ,t 0 excell5t4 ,8 face 0 animat$ & 8 att5tion occupi$4 ,i got all "o side ( 8 face done4 ,!n came ! "q ( ! o!r side4 ,he laugh$1 sugge/$ ano!r dictation1 (f]$ to /& 9 ano!r position1 & call$ back 8 /5ograph]4 ,:5 we 7 alone aga9 he came & /ood close beside ! clay & we talk$ :ile ,i w5t on work+4 ,we talk$ a little ab\t myself4 ,he said ,i %\ld rema9 9 ,russia a:ile long]1 & d "s big "w1 some?+ l my 8,victory40 ,an emaciat$ & exhau/$ figure1 b /ill fight+2 t is ! allegory ( ! ,soviet4 ,i answ]$ him t ,i c\ld get no news ( my *ildr51 & !re=e mu/ g back4 8,i mu/ return to my own _w1 to my own conv5tional p ^: fir/ ?\ght is always = :at ! _w w ?9k4 ,russia ) its abs5ce ( hypocrisy & pose1 ,russia ) its big ideas1 has spoilt me = my own _w40 8,ah6 t is :at y say n[1 b :5 y are away----0 & he hesitat$4 ,!n sudd5ly turn+ on me1 ) cl5*$ tee? & fire 9 8 eyes1 he %ook a ?reat5+ f+] 9 my face3 8,if1 :5 y get back to ,engl&1 v\s n\s calomniez z ! re/ h1 ,i tell y t ,i w come to ,engl& et je v\s----0 ,he did n say :at he w\ld d1 b !re 0 murd] 9 8 face4 ,i smil$3 8,t is all "r4 ,n[ ,i "k h[ to get y to ,engl&40 ,!n 7to fall 9 ) 8 mood73 8,h[ c ,i g back & abuse ! hospitality & ! *ivalr\s treatm5t ,i h receiv$80 ,he said3 8,x is n abus+1 b !re are ways ( criticis+ ev5 )\t abuse4 ,x is easy en\gh "h to be bl9d$ p> les salets et les s\ffrances & to see no fur!r ?an t1 & p are apt to =get t !re is no bir? )\t suff]+ & horror1 & ,russia is 9 ! ?roes ( a great acc\*em5t40 ,he talks well1 he is full ( imag]y & 8 voice is beautiful4 ,we paus$ = tea1 & ,i talk$ to him ( ?+s ,i _h he>d ab\t ! s*ools4 ,9 reply he said he _h he>d no adv]se reports ( ! co-education s*eme = boys & girls4 ,!re might be an individual case ( failure1 ?\gh ev5 ( su* a case he _h n he>d4 ,he !n comp>$ ! pres5t sy/em ) t ( boy colleges ( 8 own day1 & he said t 8 own boy ( f\rte5 _h nic] ideas ab\t girls1 & f> less cynicism1 ?an he _h at ! same age4 ,! boy app>5tly confides 9 8 "m1 s he kn[s some?+ ab\t x4 ,to-night he s5t me home alone 9 8 c>2 he excus$ himself1 say+ x 0 ! only "t x 0 possible = him to walk4 ,he kiss$ my dirty h& & said t he w\ld always pres]ve a memory ( 8une femme avec une aurole de *eveux et des ma9s trs sales40 ,,octob] #bb,,nd4 ,f9i%$6 ,i work$ until half aft] midnight4 ,i ?9k x is a success4 ,he said s2 b x has be5 su* a /ruggle4 ,ab\t half way ?r\gh ! ev5+1 ! electric lights w5t out4 ,a secret>y lit f\r c&les4 ,on ! telephone ,trotsky le>nt t ! lights _h gone out all ov] ! t[n4 ,i ask$ him hopefully if x c\ld possibly be ! outbur/ ( a c\nt]-,revolution4 ,he laugh$ & ask$ if t 0 :at ,i want$4 ,i said t ,i ?\ght x w\ld break ! monotony4 ,until ! lights w5t on ,i read ! lead+ article on ,bol%evism 9 ,! ,times (1 ,i ?9k1 ,octob] #d?4 ,he _h sev]al ,engli% pap]s on 8 desk & we read toge!r ) mu* amusem5t t he 7,trotsky7 _h be5 w\nd$1 & t ,g5]al ,budi5ny _h be5 c\rt-m>tiall$4 ,!re 7 ev5 descriptions ( b>ricades 9 ! /reets ( ,mosc[3 someone mu/ h mi/ak5 ! /acks ( fuel t ! tramc>s are br++ 9 & unload+ e day4 ,:5 ! lights w5t on ,i work$ hectically until half aft] midnight1 ) ! desp]ation ( kn[+ x 0 ! la/ sitt+4 ,at midnight he 0 /&+ by ! side ( ! "w1 r tir$ & v /ill & pati5t1 :5 sudd5ly ,i _h ! ?\ght ( ask+ him to undo 8 coll> = me4 ,he unbutton$ 8 tunic & ! %irt und]nea?1 & laid b>e a spl5did neck & *e/4 ,i work$ l a fury = half an h\r :i* 0 all too %ort4 ,i tri$ to convey into my clay "s ( 8 en]gy & vitality4 ,i work$ ) ! desp]ation t always accompanies la/ mom5ts4 ,:5 ,i left he said to me3 8,eh bi56 on ira ensemble au front80 ,b some?+ tells me t we %all nev] meet aga94 ,i feel t x is almo/ wor? :ile to pres]ve ! impression ( our h\rs ( individual "w1 collaboration & quietude1 sil5tly gu>d$ by a s5try ) fix$ bayonet outside ! door4 ,to let 9 ! light ( day w\ld be to spoil x4 ,!re is a ,fr5* say+3 8,on n'e/ pas t\j\rs n dans son pays40 ,x equally foll[s t all are n born 9 _! rightful sph]e4 ,trotsky is "o ( ^!4 ,at "o "t1 9 8 y\?1 :at 0 he8 ,a ,russian exile 9 a j\rnali/'s (fice4 ,ev5 !n ,i am told he 0 witty1 b ) ! wit ( bitt]ness4 ,n[ he has come into 8 own & has unconsci\sly develop$ a new individuality4 ,he has ! mann] & ease ( a man born to a great position2 he has become a /atesman1 a rul]1 a lead]4 ,b if ,trotsky 7 n ,trotsky1 & ! _w _h nev] he>d ( him1 "o w\ld /ill appreciate 8 v brilliant m9d4 ,! reason ,i h f\nd him s mu* m difficult to d ?an ,i expect$1 is on acc\nt ( 8 triple p]sonality4 ,he is ! cultur$1 well-read man1 he is ! vitup]ative fi]y politician1 & he c be ! mis*iev\s laugh+ s*ool-boy ) a dimple 9 8 *eek4 ,all ^! ?ree ,i h se5 9 turn1 & h _h to conv]ge !m into clay int]pretation4 ,,octob] #bc,,rd4 ,i w5t 9 ! morn+ to fet* away ! bu/ & take x to my room 9 ! ,kreml94 ,i w5t at #aa1 be=e ,trotsky _h got !re4 ,8 motor 0 at my disposal & ?ree m5 to convey ! preci\s "w away4 ,^! are ! mom5ts t take ye>s (f my life6 ,x arriv$1 h[ev]1 undamag$1 :i* 0 little %ort ( a triumph4 ,:5 my pla/]-m\ld] saw x he exclaim$ ) pleasure4 ,app>5tly x is v l1 & ev]yone is pleas$4 ,z ,trotsky is ador$1 ,i take x z a great complim5t to my "w t x is consid]$ good en\gh4 ,! relief ( hav+ accompli%$ him z well z ,l59 is indescribable4 ,i wake up 9 ! night & wond] if x is true or a dream4 ,n[ ,i am completely happy4 ,i h a*iev$ my purpose4 ,i h prov$ myself to ^! p1 & !y 9 return h prov$ _! belief 9 me by _! tr\ble & c\rte\sness4 ,i am no long] h>ass$ by anxieties & fe>s4 ,^? :o disc\rag$ me 9 ! e>ly days treat me n[ ) respect1 consid]ation & ev5 admiration4 ,i am happy1 ,i am happy6 ,i s+ :5 ,i wake 9 ! morn+1 ,i s+ :5 ,i wa% 9 cold wat]1 ,i come d[n to my breakfa/ ( black bread ) a light] /ep6 ,i breakfa/ e morn+ ) ,litv9(f4 ,by com+ d[n at #aa ! o!rs h f9i%$1 s we c talk4 ,if ,ro?/e9 is pres5t ! conv]sation becomes ,russian4 ,if ,v&]lip is !re he talks all ! "t ab\t ,am]ica 7he usually leaves ! room ) bor$om if conv]sation is on any o!r subject74 ,x is ! fa%ion 9 ,europe to vilify ,litv9(f & to reg>d him z a t]ribly dang]\s man4 ,i suppose t he is an a/ute diplomati/4 ,:atev] he is1 he is bett] ?an he pret5ds1 & ?\gh he gets no cr$it = x1 he has done a good deal = ! ,briti% prison]s "h4 ,he has un=tunately an abrupt mann]1 & a way ( refus+ to d ?+s by pret5d+ t !y are no conc]n ( 81 b /raightway he w g (f & d a k9dness to ! v p :o are damn+ him = hav+ refus$4 ,to me he is *>m+1 frank1 outspok51 & always ready to help4 ,,octob] #bd,,?4 ,we h all be5 v mu* sadd5$ by ! dea? f typhus ( ,john ,re$1 ! ,am]ican ,communi/4 ,ev]yone lik$ him & 8 wife1 ,l\ise ,bryant1 ! ,w> ,correspond5t4 ,%e is q "y & _h only rec5tly jo9$ him4 ,he _h be5 "h two ye>s1 & ,mrs4 ,re$1 unable to obta9 a passport1 f9ally came 9 ?r\gh ,murmansk4 ,ev]y?+ possible 0 done = him1 b ( c\rse !re are no m$icam5ts "h3 ! hospitals are cruelly %ort ( necessities4 ,he %\ld n h di$1 b he 0 "o ( ^? "y1 /rong m51 impati5t ( illness1 & 9 ! e>ly /ages he w\ld n take c>e ( himself4 ,i att5d$ 8 fun]al4 ,x is ! fir/ fun]al )\t a religi\s s]vice t ,i h ev] se54 ,x did n seem to /rike anyone else z peculi>1 b x 0 to me4 ,8 c(f9 /ood = "s days 9 ! ,trades' ,union ,hall1 ! walls ( :i* are cov]$ ) huge revolution>y c>toons 9 m>vell\sly bright decorative col\r+4 ,we all assembl$ 9 t hall4 ,! c(f9 /ood on a das & 0 cov]$ ) fl[]s4 ,z a bit ( /ag+ x 0 v effective1 b ,i saw1 :5 !y 7 be+ c>ri$ out1 t mo/ ( ! wrea?s 7 made ( t9 fl[]s pa9t$4 ,i suppose !y d s]vice = ea* ,revolution>y burial4 ,!re 0 a great cr[d1 b p talk$ v l[4 ,i notic$ a ,*ri/-l man ) long1 fair curly hair1 & a fair be>d & cle> blue eyes2 he 0 q "y4 ,i ask$ :o he 04 ,no "o seem$ to "k4 8,an arti/ ( sorts10 someone sugge/$4 ,n all ! p ) wond]ful heads are wond]ful p4 ,mr4 ,ro?/e9 & ,i foll[$ ! procession to ! grave1 accompani$ by a b& play+ a ,fun]al ,m>* t ,i _h nev] he>d be=e4 ,:5ev] t ,fun]al ,m>* /ruck up 7& x _h a t$i\s refra971 ev]yone uncov]$2 x seem$ to be ! only ?+ !y uncov]$ =4 ,we pass$ across ! ,place de la ,rvolution1 & ?r\gh ! sacr$ gate to ! ,r$ ,squ>e4 ,he 0 buri$ "u ! ,kreml9 wall next to all ! ,revolution>ies 8 ,comrades4 ,z a backgr\nd to 8 grave 0 a l>ge ,r$ bann] nail$ ^u ! wall ) ! lett]s 9 gold3 8,! lead]s die1 b ! cause lives on40 ,:5 ,i 0 fir/ told t ?is 0 ! bury+ gr\nd ( ! ,revolution>ies ,i look$ 9 va9 = graves1 & ,i saw only a qu>t] ( a mile or s ( gre5 grassy bank4 ,!re 0 n a memorial1 a head/one or a sign1 n ev5 an individual m\nd4 ,! ,communi/ ideal seem$ to h be5 realis$ at la/3 ! ,equality1 unatta9able 9 life1 ! ,equality = :i* ,*ri/ di$1 _h be5 realisable only 9 dea?4 ,a l>ge cr[d assembl$ = ,john ,re$'s burial & ! occasion 0 "o = spee*es4 ,bu*>9 & ,madame ,kolontai bo? spoke4 ,!re 7 spee*es 9 ,engli%1 ,fr5*1 ,g]man & ,russian4 ,x took a v long "t1 & a mixture ( ra9 & sn[ 0 fall+4 ,al?\gh ! poor wid[ fa9t$1 h] fri5ds did n take h] away4 ,x 0 extremely pa9ful to see ?is :ite-fac$1 unconsci\s woman ly+ back on ! support+ arm ( a ,=eign ,(fice (ficial1 m int]e/$ 9 ! spee*es ?an 9 ! human agony4 ,! faces ( ! cr[d ar\nd betray$ nei!r sympa?y nor int]e/1 !y look$ on unmov$4 ,i c\ld n get to h]1 z ,i 0 outside ! r+ ( soldi]s :o /ood gu>d ne>ly %\ld] to %\ld]4 ,i m>vel cont9u\sly at ! blank faces ( ! ,russian p4 ,9 ,france or ,italy "o kn[s t 9 mom5ts ( sorr[ ! p are deeply mov$1 _! arms g r\nd "o1 & _! sympa?y is ov]:elm+4 ,!y cry ) our sorr[s1 !y laugh ) our joys4 ,b ,russia seems numb4 ,i wond] if x has always be5 s or :e!r ! p h liv$ ?r\gh ye>s ( su* horror t !y h become ins5sible to pa94 ,happily no salute 0 fir$4 ,! la/ "t ! ma*9e guns rattl$ at a burial ,i he>d !m 9 my /udio1 :i* is j ! o!r side ( ! wall4 ,on t occasion ! old port] :o takes c>e ( me at ! ,kreml9 told me t 8 wife ne>ly di$ ( he>t failure--%e ?\ght ! 8,:ites0 _h come4 ,probably x affects o!r jumpy p 9 ! same way4 ,"h ! t]ror ( ! ,:ites is z great z is1 on ! o!r side1 ! t]ror ( ! ,r$s6 ,! poor p d n want any m fight+4 ,i ?9k !y are q indiff]5t z to :o rules !m1 !y want only ,peace4 ,:5 ,i got back ,i f\nd ,maxim ,litv9(f1 :o also _h be5 at ! fun]al & _h look$ = me 9 ! cr[d 9 va94 ,he says t he has arrang$ ) ,t*i*]9 t ,i am to beg9 him to-morr[4 ,i h n ask$ to d him1 b if x is all arrang$ = me ,i am only too delight$4 ,b ,i d n look =w>d to work+ at ! ,commiss>iat = ,=eign ,affairs4 ,x is ! ,hotel ,metropole1 9 ! ,place de la ,rvolution1 & al?\gh x w n be necess>y to h a pass1 & !re w be none ( ! s5try difficulties z ) ,l59 & ,trotsky1 ! dra9-smells are su* t "o climbs ! /airs two at a "t hold+ "o's brea?6 ,!re are bits ( ! ,kreml9 t are en\gh to kill ! heal?ie/ p]son1 b ! ,metropole baffles all description4 ,inside ! (fices x is all "r1 b ! d\ble w9d[s ev]y:]e are h]metically seal$ = ! w9t]1 & ,i wond] t p d n die l flies4 ,litv9(f tells me t a new build+ is almo/ ready & t ! next "t ,i come to ,mosc[ !re w be a beautiful ,commiss>iat4 ,x is curi\s t 9 ,mosc[1 :i* 0 "o ( ! ri*e/ cities 9 ! _w & conta9$ m ri* m]*ants ?an almo/ any o!r1 some?+ m 0 n done = sanitation4 ,la/ ye> ow+ to lack ( fuel mo/ ( ! pipes 9 ! t[n bur/4 ,no wond] !re 0 an epidemic ( typhus4 ,?is ye> ?+s are bett] organis$1 & if !re is ,peace on ! two fronts1 conditions may be enorm\sly improv$4 ,?is ev5+ ,comrade ,alex&re took me to a play4 ,he gave me my *oice1 & ,i decid$ t 8,la ,fille de ,madame ,angot10 be+ an ,op]etta1 w\ld be m amus+ t 8,twelf? ,night0 9 ,russian4 ,x 0 at ! ,?tre des ,arts1 :]e ,t*ekov's plays us$ to be produc$4 ,t*ekov is no long] act$2 he wrote = a class t is tempor>ily ext9ct2 ! work]s & peasants w\ld n und]/& x4 ,aft]w>ds1 com+ home 9 ! motor1 ,i notic$ a trem5d\s gl>e 9 ! sky1 x obvi\sly meant a fire1 & ,i insi/$ on go+ to look = x4 ,if ! fire1 :5 f\nd1 0 disappo9t+1 at lea/ ! se>* = x 0 int]e/+1 & reveal$ to me ! unsuspect$ size ( ,mosc[4 ,we drove ?r\gh miles ( des]t$ /reets1 :]e we met only a few soldi]s we>ily trudg+ ?r\gh ! mud4 ,we %\t$ to !m3 8,tov>is*i1 :]e is ! fire80 ,!re is some?+ v pleasant 9 hail+ a complete /rang] z a ,comrade--"o feels at once a l9k ( fri5d%ip4 ,! ,tov>is*i1 h[ev]1 only wav$ vaguely onw>ds1 :i* is ! only in/ruction "o ev] gets 9 ,mosc[ :5 "o asks ! way4 ,on we bump$ & jolt$ & skidd$4 ,!re 0 an icy w9d bl[+ & we _h no rug4 ,we seem$ to cross two riv]s1 or !y may h be5 riv] bran*es4 ,ev]y?+ look$ v beautiful 9 ! twilight4 ,!re 0 no p>apet to ! riv] edge1 only "s tortu\s tree-/ems4 ,f9ally we arriv$ ^u ! sc5e to f9d t "s build+ 9 a big cle>+ _h burnt to ! f\ndations1 & 0 /ill burn+ brightly4 ,hav+ got out ( ! c> & wad$ ?r\gh ! mud1 ,i c\ld n get any:]e ne>1 & ab&on$ ! que/4 ,a p>ty ( m5 return+ f ! fire1 surpris$ at our hav+ a motor1 ask$ ,alex&re = 8 id5tification pap]s4 ,happily he is a memb] ( ! ,communi/ p>ty4 ,on ! way home he 0 anxi\s le/ ! bad road %\ld cause "s damage to ! c>4 ,if x broke d[n1 he expla9$ *e]fully1 !re 0 no o!r c> to be _h 9 ^! p>ts1 & no telephone to call "o up1 & x 0 too f> to walk home4 ,x 0 sn[+ & we got back at #a a4m4 aft] los+ ! way _m times4 ,9 ! hall ,i 0 met by ,litv9(f1 :o1 :ile ,i 0 hav+ supp]1 told me t he _h _h a message f ,trotsky :o ask$ if ,i w\ld be ready to g (f to ! front on ! morr[ at #d p4m4 ,i _h to make up my m9d4 ,we discuss$ ! plan 9 all its aspects4 ,litv9(f 0 spl5did1 he advis$ me nei!r way1 he m]ely said he w\ld make all arrangem5ts if ,i decid$ to g4 ,i knew t go+ w\ld involve cold & discom=t & ,i guess$ t ,i %\ld n really see mu* ( ! front1 & z ! only woman ,i %\ld be mo/ conspicu\s4 ,yet--:at a temptation4 ,f9ally ab\t #c a4m4 = v>i\s reasons ,i decid$ to pres]ve ,trotsky z a memory4 ,!n = ! fir/ "t ,litv9(f said3 8,i am s glad40 ,,octob] #be,,?4 ,litv9(f 0 mo/ k9d & help$ me to move my clay & /& f ! ,kreml9 to ! ,=eign ,(fice4 ,i w\ld h lik$ a snap%ot ( our procession--! m\ld] c>ry+ ! clay block1 ,litv9(f1 9 8 fur-l9$ coat & sealsk9 cap arm$ ) ! modell+ /&1 & ,i foll[+ ) ! bucket ( clay & clo?s4 ,on arrival at ! ,=eign ,(fice we 7 greet$ by ! ,*9ese ,g5]al 9 uni=m & all 8 /aff4 ,litv9(f1 :o is likely to be ! ,soviet repres5tative 9 ,*9a1 0 r tak5 aback by ?is r5contre b ! ,*9ese 7 enorm\sly amus$4 ,lat]1 at #i p4m4 ,i return$ ) ,litv9(f to ,t*i*]9's (fice to beg9 "w4 ,:ile ,litv9(f w5t inside ,i wait$ 9 ! secret>y's room1 & :ile ,i 0 wait+ a man hurri$ ?r\gh ! (fice4 ,he 0 a little man 9 br[n tr\s]s & a coat :i* did n mat*4 ,) small /eps he %uffl$ ha/ily along4 ,x might h be5 a night wat*man2 x 0 ,t*i*]94 ,/ill ,i wait$1 & ! l5g? ( my wait began to annoy me1 & !n ,i began to feel t ,illu/ration3 ,,s5try ,,outside ,,! ,,gue/-,,h\se4 p4 #afa4 some?+ 0 wrong4 ,pres5tly ,litv9(f call$ me1 b ,i got no fur!r ?an ! doorway4 ,!re ,t*i*]9 confront$ me1 & 9 hurri$ & confus$ tones said3 8,to-night x is impossible1 q1 q impossible10 & disappe>$4 ,he _h n ev5 all[$ me to cross 8 ?re%old4 ,litv9(f & ,i look$ at ea* o!r & walk$ out4 ,we w5t up/airs to ,litv9(f's (fice4 ,he 0 obvi\sly upset & at a p]fect loss to expla9 or excuse4 ,i sat & talk$ until ! c> arriv$ to take me home1 & f :at ,litv9(f said & f :at ,i _h se5 9 t fla%1 ,i h le>n$ some?+ ( ! p]sonality ( ,t*i*]94 ,he is an abnormal man1 liv+ mon? aft] mon? 9 t ,=eign ,(fice ) clos$ w9d[s & nev] go+ out4 ,he insi/s on hav+ a b$room !re1 z he says he has n "t to g home to sleep4 ,he works all night1 & if a telegram comes 9 ! day he has to be awak5$4 ,8 nights are days & 8 days are n entirely nights4 ,he has no idea ( "t & does n realise t o!r p live diff]5tly4 ,he w r+ up a ,comrade on ! telephone at #c or #d o'clock 9 ! morn+ = ! mo/ trivial in=mation4 ,he does all 8 own "w1 & w n r+ = a secret>y or mess5g]1 b runs himself ) pap]s to o!r dep>tm5ts4 ,he lives on 8 n]ves & ! slighte/ ?+ ?r[s him (f 8 pivot4 ,i _h be5 told he 0 an angel & a sa9t4 ,:at ,i f\nd 0 a flutt]+ & agitat$ bird4 ,! joke is t he is look$ ^u z ! 8g5tleman0 ( ! p>ty4 ,he is by orig9 well-born & prop]ti$4 ,8 prop]ty he gave away to ! p4 ,to-day 0 a p>ticul>ly un=tunate "o = me4 ,x happ5$ to be ! fir/ day = mon?s t ,t*i*]9 _h gone out4 ,he w5t to ! d5ti/4 ,someone wat*+ him f an (fice w9d[ describ$ to me ! ph5om5on ( ,t*i*]9 9 ! /reet4 ,he did n g 9 a c>1 b on foot4 ,he /ood at ! corn] ( ! k]b1 look$ at ! /reet hesitat+ly1 mu* z "o might look into a riv] on a cold day be=e plung+ 94 ,:5 he did f9ally decide to get across1 he got half way & !n ran back4 ,:at ) ! traffic1 ! fre% air1 & ! d5ti/1 x mu/ h be5 a ?or\ghly unn]v+ day = him1 & no wond] he receiv$ me s ill6 ,,octob] #bf,,?4 ,t*i*]9 s5t me a message ?r\gh ,litv9(f1 invit+ me to />t at #d o'clock 9 ! morn+1 z t is 8 quiete/ "t1 b x is un=tunately my quiete/ "t too4 ,,octob] #bi,,?4 ,i h _h f\r inactive days1 b ! s5se ( "w complet$ is a great relief4 ,i am prep>$ to enjoy ! holiday4 ,i h drift$ ab\t ) ,&rev1 & 9 8 sp>e mom5ts ) ,maxim ,litv9(f4 ,on 8 way to "w at midday he fir/ takes me 9 8 c> to ! place ,i want to photograph4 ,at #e o'clock he comes back & has tea ) me1 br+s 8 portfolio & works 9 my room till #g4 ,!n he />ts out aga9 to meet+s4 ,i h int]e/+ talks ) him & le>n a good deal4 ,he smiles tol]antly :5 my b\rgeois bre$+ breaks out4 ,b he says ,i am gett+ bett]4 ,ev5 ,ro?/e9 has gr[n to treat me m s]i\sly4 ,to-day my f\r? day ( re/ began to r\se 9 me a fre% en]gy4 ,i long to fill 9 ?is int]im ( wait+ ) "s new "w4 ,i h (f]$ to d ,litv9(f1 & he sugge/s t ,i %\ld "w 9 8 (fice2 ?is is s difficult t ,i h ask$ him to let me d x at home1 9 odd mom5ts :5 he is free4 ,betwe5 ! two1 no?+ gets decid$4 ,mean:ile ! s5tries at ! ,kreml9 gate h fir$ my en?usiasm4 ,!y are magnific5t1 wrapp$ ar\nd 9 goatsk9 coats ) coll>s t envelop _! entire heads4 ,my ef=ts to get su* an "o to sit to me h at la/ be5 successful4 ,&rev & ,i w&]$ f build+ to build+ ?is morn+ to accompli% ?is purpose4 ,&rev is great fun to explore )2 ) a 8,je m'en fi*e0 air1 he op5s all ! doors he comes to1 & walks 9 ev]y:]e4 ,i see all sorts ( places t ,i w\ld nev] d>e to inve/igate alone4 ,we walk$ boldly into ! b>racks2 ,i d\bt if a woman _h be5 9 be=e1 b ,i did n attract mu* att5tion4 ,a few soldi]s ga!r$ r\nd u to he> our explanation to ! (fic] 9 *>ge4 ,"o or two smil$1 ! re/ look$ at me blankly4 ,:at ,&rev said ( c\rse ,i d n "k1 except t ,i und]/ood ! (fic] to ask if we 7 ,bol%evik4 ,app>5tly if we 7 n ,bol%eviks we mu/ get p]mission f ! ,comm&ant ( ! ,kreml9 be=e a soldi] c\ld be s5t to me4 ,(f we w5t 9 se>* ( ! ,comm&ant4 ,oh6 ! d>k passages & ! /uffy (fices2 !y smelt z if ! air belong$ to bygone ages4 ,i am sure no fre% air ev] leaks 94 ,f !re to ! milit>y /ore to obta9 an ov]coat4 ,!y l5t me a new "o2 x 0 an enorm\s goatsk94 ,m smells6 ,no liv+ goat ev] c\ld h smelt /rong]4 ,&rev1 /agg]+ "u ! weight & ! unwieldy size1 c>ri$ x to my /udio to await ! soldi]'s arrival to-morr[4 ,! room reeks ( x4 ,my idea is a /atuette--only 9 ,russia c\ld "o f9d su* a silh\ette4 ,x 0 /ill e>ly & ,i did n want to g home1 s we w&]$ to ! ,palace1 op5$ m doors1 & aft] a little conv]sation ) "s m5 9 an (fice1 "o ( !m took u to see ! ,museum & ! ,arm\ry4 ,?is 0 a great revelation1 & ,i regrett$ n hav+ se5 x be=e s t ,i c\ld h _h "t to g (t5 aga94 ,our guide spoke ,fr5*1 & knew all ! ?+s intimately4 ,he talk$ ( !m ) pride & almo/ ) love4 ,ev]y?+ 0 beautifully arrang$4 ,!re 7 glass cases full ( ,roman(f cr[ns1 jewel /udd$1 & sceptres & h>ness & trapp+s set ) preci\s /ones4 ,"o really got q dazzl$ by !m4 ,! arm\r is v f9e1 ,i believe1 b t ,i "k no?+ ab\t & x does n int]e/ me4 ,:at ,i lov$ 7 ! old coa*es4 ,!re 0 "o giv5 by ,que5 ,elizabe? ( ,engl&1 ! mo/ beautiful bit ( pa9t$ c>v+ ,i h ev] se54 ,! ,fr5* ,l\is ,,xv & ,,xvi coa*es look$ vulg> next to x4 ,!re 0 a room full ( silv] & gold cups4 ,i believe t ?is conta9s ! f9e/ collection ( ,engli% ,*>les ,,ii silv] 9 ! _w4 ,moreov] s _m cups _h be5 collect$ rec5tly f ! *ur*es t !re 7 long wood5 tre/les cov]$ ) !m1 & !y 7 9 process ( be+ catalogu$4 ,9 ! la/ room 7 exhibit$ all ! old co/umes1 *ur* ve/m5ts & beautiful brocades4 ,! ,coronation robe ( ,ca!r9e ! ,great 0 !re1 & o!rs t _h be5 w$d+ & ,coronation robes ( v>i\s o!r ,ts>9as4 ,x is wond]ful t ^! ?+s %\ld h rema9$ unhurt ?r\gh\t ! ,revolution4 ,x is acutely cold1 & ! riv] is completely froz5 ov]4 ,*ildr5 skate & toboggan ev]y:]e4 ,! side walks h become slides1 & are v difficult = ! p$e/rian :o is n equipp$ ) skates4 ,*ildr5 "h seem to be born able to skate4 ,!y /rap skates on to any k9d ( footge>1 ev5 on to big1 loose felt boots1 & !y skate ev]y:]e at breakneck spe$4 ,x is a relief n to see p we>ily c>ry+ _! bundles ov] _! %\ld]s4 ,n[ ev]yone seems to h put 8 burd5 on to a little wood5 sl$ge1 & gr[n-up p look l big *ildr5 pull+ toys on ! ends ( /r+s4 ,i h borr[$ clo!s & ,jaeg]s f my fri5ds4 ,"o's no/rils freeze & ! brea? cry/allises on "o's fur coll>4 ,! t[n ) its :ite pall is indescribably beautiful4 ,at dusk ! sky is d>k5$ by a flight ( grey-back$ cr[s4 ,!y settle on ! b>e tree bran*es ) ! effect ( great black leaves silh\et$ aga9/ a col\r$ ev5+ sky4 ,at #h4cj ?is ev5+1 ,kam5eff unexpect$ly walk$ into my room4 ,x is ne>ly ?ree weeks s9ce he w5t to ! front4 ,i _h almo/ =gott5 ab\t him4 ,he 0 9 trem5d\s spirits1 mu* ?9n]1 q un%av$1 & ) 8 hair long4 ,he 0 int]e/+ ab\t ! _s ( ! ,r$ ,army4 ,he says !y are wond]fully en?usia/ic1 & anxi\s to f9i% ,wrangel & h peace4 ,x is j possible !re may be a big c\p :i* w\ld obviate a w9t] campaign4 ,m ?an ev] d ,i regret n hav+ gone ) ,trotsky4 ,!y met at ,kh>k(1 & ,i c\ld h come back ) ,kam5eff4 ,,octob] #ca,,/4 ,i w5t to ! ,kreml91 & tri$ to "w on my soldi] :o came to sit to me1 b ! clay gets s cold & my f+]s s numb$1 ,i f9d ,i _c d any?+4 ,i built up su* a big fire 9 ! /ove to keep myself w>m1 t ! un=tunate soldi] 9 ! ov]coat got ne>ly apoplectic4 ,moreov]1 ! hot goatsk9 smells /rong] & /rong]4 ,ev5 ! soldi] seems to be affect$ by x4 ,we _c op5 ! w9d[s & let ! cold 94 ,^! conditions make "w v disc\rag+4 ,&rev fet*$ me at #ab4cj1 & we w5t to ! h\se ( ,%uck51 :o 0 a cotton-k+1 & :o _h ! bigge/ collection ( mod]n ,fr5* pictures 9 exi/5ce4 ,x is n[ tak5 ov] by ! ,gov]nm5t1 & op5 on sev]al days a week to ! public4 ,madame ,%uck5 is1 ,i believe1 all[$ to occupy h] rooms 9 ! h\se4 ,!re is no su* mod]n collection 9 ,france4 ,!re 7 repres5t$ all ! arti/s ,i h be5 want+ to see4 ,! fir/ room 0 full ( ,claude ,monet1 & !re 7 ?ree little ,:i/l]s 9 ! doorway lead+ to a room full ( ,dgas1 ,r5oir1 & ,czanne4 ,to-day = ! fir/ "t ,i c appreciate ,mattisse2 !re 7 tw5ty-"o 9 a room4 ,next to ?is 0 ano!r room conta9+ tw5ty ,gogu9s4 ,9 a fur!r gall]y !re 0 a motley collection1 includ+ a c\ple ( ,brangwyns1 :i* held _! own well4 ,!re 0 also ! big ,william ,morris tape/ry ( ,burne-,jones' 8,nativity10 :i* "o c\ld h>dly be> to look at aft] ! mod]n ,fr5*4 ,com+ out1 we pass$ by a doorway 9 ! sn[1 rudely pa9t$ 9 blot*es ( gre5 & yell[2 a s5try /ood by1 & ,i po9t$ x out to ,&rev :o agre$ t x 0 pure ,mattisse4 ,"o has b to borr[ ! eyes ( ano!r & ! same old _w appe>s q diff]5t4 ,i rememb] t :5 ,i _h be5 9 ,flor5ce a few days1 ev]yone look$ l a pa9t$ ,madonna4 ,?is ev5+ ,litv9(f gave a banquet = ! dep>t+ ,*9ese ,g5]al4 ,x 0 a great ev5t4 ,! di%es z !y appe>$ 7 l ?+s we h se5 9 dreams4 ,! p>ty consi/$1 besides ! ,g5]al & ?ree ( 8 /aff1 ( two int]pret]s 7"o be+ ! pr(essor ( ,*9ese at ! ,univ]sity ( ,petrograd71 ,t*i*]91 ,k>ahan1 8 secret>y1 ,mrs4 ,k>ahan1 ,v&]lip1 ,ro?/e9 & myself4 ,we 7 invit$ = #i p4m41 b x 0 half-pa/ elev5 be=e we began1 true ,russian fa%ion1 two h\rs & a half late4 ,x 0 = ,t*i*]9 we _h to wait3 he has no idea ( "t4 ,! h\rs prec$+ 7 r t$i\s1 z conv]sation ?r\gh an int]pret] is n a success4 ,"o ,*9aman talk$ ,fr5*4 ,he 0 ! ,presid5t ( ! ,union ( ,*9ese ,work]s4 ,k>ahan is ,arm5ian2 he speaks "s /range ,ea/]n language1 b no?+ t ,i und]/&4 ,8 wife c only talk ,russian4 ,!y live 9 our h\se1 b "o seldom sees !m z !y h _! meals 9 _! own ap>tm5ts4 ,8 face is v beautiful1 l c>v$ ivory4 ,he is a great my/]y2 he lives 9 a bett] way ?an anyone else1 smokes ! be/ cig>s1 drives to 8 (fice 9 a lim\s9e1 & looks l ! mo/ prosp]\s g5tleman 9 ,europe 9 8 a/ra*an coat & hat4 ,he mu/ d "s v good "w = ! ,gov]nm5t1 or he w\ld n be tol]at$4 ,i believe ,l59 once ask$ :at 0 ! use ( him1 & he 0 told t ,k>ahan 0 mo/ important1 = 0 he n ! only man among/ !m :o c\ld we> ev5+ clo!s8 ,mrs4 ,k>ahan 0 on ! /age & is ! prettie/ woman ,i h se5 9 ,mosc[4 ,at d9n] ,i sat betwe5 ! ,presid5t ( ! ,union ( ,*9ese ,work]s & ,litv9(f1 :o did ho/ extremely well1 & 0 clev] 9 plac+ u all4 ,he creat$ s _m places ( hon\r t ev]yone 0 gratifi$4 ,he put ,t*i*]9 at ! head ( ! table1 s t ! ,g5]al & ,v&]lip on ei!r side ( him felt t !y 7 gue/s ( hon\r4 ,he put me on "o side ( him & ,mrs4 ,k>ahan at ! end ( ! table opposite ,t*i*]94 ,i ate s _m excell5t hors d'uvres1 ?9k+ ,i 0 nev] go+ to eat aga91 & t no?+ else 0 com+1 t ,i _h little room left = :at foll[$4 ,x 0 a joy ev5 to look at a fre% salad & a caulifl[]4 ,our old mans]vant 0 awfully happy4 ,he _h on a coll> & tie & 0 wa%$1 & _h organis$ ev]y?+ beautifully4 ,he _h got out ! ,svres salt-cell>s1 & ! cut-glass decant]s1 & ,i suppose he j felt t he 0 back 9 ! old pre-,revolution days & s]v+ 8 ma/]'s fri5ds4 ,he took int5se pride 9 x all4 ,we _h our jokes ) him z he w5t by4 ,h&+ me a di% ( buf la mode1 he said3 8,magnifique60 ,litv9(f 0 reprim&$ by him = us+ 8 knife = 8 vegetables1 & 0 told t he w\ld n get ano!r4 ,:5 ! apple dumpl+s came r\nd ,i 0 done4 ,i said to ! old man3 8,zaft]0 7to-morr[74 ,i d hope we %all get "s rema9s4 ,i ask$ ,litv9(f :]e all ! food _h come f4 ,he expla9$ to me t !re is "s food to be _h1 b t ! be/ is s5t to ! hospitals & ! *ildr54 ,!n foll[$ spee*es4 ,any?+ m deplorable to li/5 to )\t und]/&+ ?an ,russian be+ translat$ into ,*9ese & vice v]s is h>d to imag9e4 ,t*i*]9 spoke = q a long "t4 ,! ,*9ese ,g5]al's face 0 immovable4 ,aft] ! ,pr(essor _h translat$1 ! ,g5]al repli$ ) mu* ! same sort ( face4 ,aft] d9n] we adj\rn$ to ! ,k>ahans' big rooms opposite4 ,t*i*]9 0 evid5tly emb>rass$ at meet+ me aga94 ,i _h no feel+ on ! subject1 & m]ely laugh$4 ,i said jok+ly1 8,comrade ,t*i*]91 y h treat$ me v badly40 ,he 0 aga9 q flu/]$4 ,litv9(f told me propos ( ,t*i*]9 t he _h advis$ him to get someone extra into 8 (fice to help to get 8 pap]s /raight4 ,t*i*]9 agre$1 & said t he _h already he>d ( a "y man :o w\ld d v well because 8he works dur+ ! day1 s t he is free at night40 ,litv9(f ask$ :5 ! man %\ld sleep2 ,t*i*]9 look$ surpris$1 he _h =gott5 ab\t t4 ,,novemb] #b,,nd4 ,felt ill4 ,symptoms ( abdom9al typhus4 ,panic on ! "p ( my fri5ds4 ,!y say !y d n want to lay my body "u ! ,kreml9 wall4 ,if !y d1 ,i h told !m ,i don't m9d spee*es1 b ,i w\ld l a pray]4 ,! answ] to t 03 8,are y really croyante80 8,well10 ,i said1 8!re are two *ildr5 pray+ e night t ,i may return safe & soon1 & ! ?\ght ( t gives me a c]ta9 security40 8,:at1 y tea* y\r *ildr5 to pray80 8,b surely !y mu/ h some?+ to guide !m z !y />t life80 8,y %\ld tea* !m reality1 & n fantasy40 8,x is n fantasy to believe 9 a ,div9e p[]40 8,y %\ld believe only 9 y\r own p[]40 ,t is a conv]sation ,i h _h z a result ( my slight indisposition4 ,x 0 a conv]sation t confirms ! g5]al idea ,i h met 9 o!rs s9ce ,i h be5 "h4 ,i "k ^! m5 are ideali/s & selfless4 ,i did n "k ^! qualities c\ld g h& 9 h& ) a!ism4 ,on ?is po9t1 ,litv9(f correct$ me4 ,he did n ev5 want to be reg>d$ z an ideali/4 ,t 0 too unpractical4 8,we are ideali/ic mat]iali/s10 he said4 ,to prove _! tol]ance ( religi\s ?\ght1 ! *ur*es are all op54 ,b to ent] ! sacr$ gateway :i* leads to ! ,r$ ,squ>e x 0 necess>y1 9 pre-,revolution days1 = m5 to pass uncov]$4 ,a tablet has n[ be5 ins]t$ 9 ! wall engrav$ ) ! inscription1 8,religion is ! opiate ( ! p40 ,h>dly ev] h ,i pass$ t by )\t hav+ x po9t$ out to me ) great pride4 ,i nev] q und]/ood ! _s ( x4 ,z = ! p1 !y seem to disreg>d x1 to judge by ! _m :o cross !mselves z !y pass4 ,! %r9e seems to be always full ( devotees1 :o pause to pray4 ,! religi\s feel+ ( ! p w n easily be oblit]at$ &1 aft] all1 !y ne$ all ! com=t & hope !y c get1 ev5 if ! intellectuals d n4 ,my /ay 9 ,russia is ne>+ its end4 ,already ,i see my dep>ture 9 ! ne> di/ance4 ,p at home w ?9k ,i am a ,bol%evik1 on acc\nt ( my associations1 b ,i am mu* too humble to pret5d t ,i und]/& any?+ ab\t x4 ,! m ,i he>1 ! cle>] x seems to me t economics are ! basis ( all ^! argum5ts1 & :5 x is a "q ( political economy some?+ happ5s to my m9d1 j z x us$ to :5 ,i 0 a *ild & _h to le>n ari?metic4 ,a ,bol%evik :o c be defeat$ by argum5t is n wor?y ( ! "n4 ,!re=e ,i am n a ,bol%evik4 ,b ,i h tri$ to und]/& ! _s ( ,communism & x int]e/s me ov]:elm+ly4 ,!re are little incid5ts ,i l to recall t 9 no way less5 my love ( ! p4 ,= example1 :5 ! wea!r began to get cold1 be=e ,borod9 w5t away1 be+ unable to expla9 9 ,russian :at ,i want$1 ,i w5t myself to ! back g>d5 to fet* an armload ( logs = my fire4 ,i _h to make a long j\rney ?r\gh ! kit*51 d[n ! corridor & f9ally ?r\gh ! draw+-room4 ,i h nev] m9d$ c>ry+ my own wood1 b ,i did ?9k t "o ( ! two m5--,borod9 :o 0 telephon+1 or ,boris1 :o 0 idl+ 9 a ,l\is ,,xvi *air z ,i pass$ ?r\gh ! draw+-room1 might h op5$ ! doors = me4 ,because !y did n ,i mo/ un=givably lo/ my temp]1 & said ,i 0 glad t ,i 0 an ,engli% woman & n a ,russian man4 ,! effect ( my attack 0 diff]5t on ea* ( !m4 ,boris said1 8,b x is q "r y %\ld c>ry y\r own wood4 ,communism means t ea* %\ld help himself40 ,i repli$ t t 0 no?+ new1 t self-help 0 ! olde/ deep-root$ feel+ 9 ! _w1 & t if ,communism want$ to be orig9al1 x mu/ tea* ! doctr9e ( help+ "o ano!r4 ,borod9 foll[$ me to my room 9 a /ate ( apology & di/ress4 ,he br\ght me two apples & a cig>ette1 & told me t if ,i peel$ ! bir* b>k (f ! logs1 x made an excell5t sub/itute = k9dl+4 ,) 8 advice he did mu* to help me light my fire4 ,i h nev] q made out 9 my own m9d if !y 7 typically ,russian or typically ,communi/4 ,i am /ill wond]+4 ,i 0 mu* laugh$ at once because ,i made ,v&]lip 9 ! /reet %\ld] a woman's burd5 & c>ry x = h] to h] h\se4 ,%e 0 a frail well-dress$ woman1 obvi\sly exhau/$ by a long walk ov] cobble/ones1 & 0 utt]ly incompet5t to c>ry ! bundle conta9+ h] rations4 ,i w\ld h tak5 x = h] myself if ,i _h be5 alone1 b z ,v&]lip 0 *ampion-9-*ief ( ! frail & ! well-dress$1 ,i ?\ght he might z well d x4 ,litv9(f 0 amus$ :5 he he>d ab\t x1 & said t "o might really f9d a good deal ( "w to d 9 ,mosc[ on ^? l9es4 ,v&]lip has told me ) great conc]n t a weak little b\rgeoise fri5d ( 81 once ri*1 b n[ a /5ograph]1 has receiv$ a pap] ord]+ h] to enli/ h] s]vices among ^? :o are to %ovel ! /reet cle> ( sn[ 9 front ( _! doors4 8,t]rible10 he said4 8,:y1 t]rible80 ,i ask$4 8,t]rible t a woman1 well-br$ & unus$ to manual lab\r1 %\ld be call$ ^u to %ovel sn[40 8,b10 ,i argu$1 8%e _h bett] food & c>e :5 "y ?an ! work+ classes1 & ought1 !re=e1 to be physically /rong] & m able to d ?is "w ?an _m ano!r40 7,i ?\ght ( "s ( my fri5ds 9 ,engl& :o made mo/ effici5t railway port]s dur+ ! /rike a ye> ago47 ,i said t ,i %\ld take a pride if ,i 7 a ,russian b\rgeoise 9 %[+ p "h t ,i c\ld d z good a day's "w z anyone else1 & t ,i 0 n j useless & helpless z !y imag9$4 ,v&]lip disagre$4 ,he said 7& ,i wond] if x is ! ,am]ican po9t ( view7 t wom5 ought n to "w at all1 !y ought to be work$ =4 ,x 0 q useless to talk to him ab\t co-op]ation or ! economic indep5d5ce ( wom54 ,besides1 x 0 n ab\t wom51 x 0 ab\t ,communism t ,i want$ to talk4 ,h[ long & h[ rambl+ ?is is z ! result ( no occupation & an en=c$ /ay )9 doors6 ,x is useless to write lett]s home1 & ?is is a sort ( unburd5+4 ,i (t5 wond] ab\t my family--:e!r !y are anxi\s ab\t me 7kn[+ no?+ ( ! peaceful tru?71 or :e!r !y are too disapprov+ to be anxi\s4 ,i love ! b$rock ( ?+s "h1 & ! vital en]gy4 ,if ,i _h no *ildr51 ,i %\ld rema9 & "w4 ,!re may be no food = ! body1 b !re is pl5ty ( food = ! s\l1 & ,i w\ld r live 9 discom=t 9 an atmosph]e ( gigantic ef=t1 ?an 9 luxury among ! purposeless4 ,i f9d ,i no long] dream ( home1 & h gr[n us$ to conditions :i* at fir/ seem$ h>d4 ,i am ?ankful = ! peace :i* ,i once mi/ook = dullness1 & appreciate ! abs5ce ( all ! pretty tyrannies ( civilis$ life4 ,my mode ( liv+ suits me v well4 ,i am glad n to h to take any "p 9 ! managem5t ( a h\se4 ,i pref] bad food ?an to be consult$ ab\t x4 ,:at ! h\semaid breaks is n m9e1 nor any conc]n ( m9e4 ,!re are no bor$oms su* z gas bills1 taxes1 r5t & rates1 nor ,income ,tax returns4 ,i nev] h to sign a *eque1 nor to g out ) a purse4 ,! oblit]ation ( all social life is a boon4 ,!re are no invitations by telephone to accept1 refuse1 or make decisions ab\t4 ,!re is no p]plexity ab\t ! *oice ( app>el1 nor lett]s by po/ t h to be answ]$4 ,!re is leisure to read1 leisure to ?9k1 leisure to obs]ve4 ,! big ideas1 wide horizons & de/ruction ( all ! conv5tions h tak5 hold ( me4 ,( c\rse ,i realise t1 z a gue/ ( ! ,gov]nm5t1 ,i am judg+ ?+s f a p]sonal po9t ( view1 & n ! po9t ( view ( ! ,russian p4 7,few ( u are big en\gh to be purely imp]sonal47 ,i l liv+ 9 ?is way4 ,x may seem a /range ta/e to ^? p :o h ! s5se ( possession1 ! collectors' in/9ct1 or ! love ( home4 ,i h none ( ^!2 s long z ,i h a place to "w 91 & pl5ty ( "w to d1 & leisure 9 :i* to ?9k ab\t x1 ,i ask little m4 ,my e> has accu/om$ itself to ! language ( ,communism1 ,i h =gott5 ! ,engli% ( my own _w4 ,i d n mean t ,i am a ,communi/1 nor t ,i ?9k x is a practical !ory1 p]haps x is n1 b x seems to me1 nev]!less1 t ! ,russian p get gratis a good _m privileges1 su* z education1 lodg+1 food1 railways1 !atres1 ev5 po/age1 & a /&>d wage ?r[n 94 ,if ! abs5ce ( prosp]ity is m>k$1 ! abs5ce ( pov]ty is rem>kable4 ,! p's suff]+s are *iefly caus$ by lack ( food1 fuel & clo?+4 ,?is is n ! fault ( ! ,gov]nm5t4 ,! ,soviet sy/em does n d x to spite !m1 or because x enjoys _! discomfiture4 ,only peace ) ! _w c ameliorate _! suff]+s1 & ,russia is n at w> ) ! _w1 ! _w is at w> ) ,russia4 ,:y am ,i happy "h1 %ut (f f all ,i belong to8 ,:at is !re ab\t ?is c\ntry t has always made ev]yone fall "u its spell8 ,i h be5 wond]+4 ,my m9d conjures up ,engli% life & ,engli% conditions1 & makes comp>isons4 ,:y are ^! p1 :o h less education1 s mu* m cultur$ ?an we are8 ,! gall]ies ( ,london are empty4 ,9 ! ,briti% ,museum "o meets an occasional ,g]man /ud5t4 ,"h ! gall]ies & museums are full ( work+ p4 ,london provides revues & plays ( humiliat+ m$iocrity1 :i* ! educat$ classes enjoy & applaud4 ,"h ! masses cr[d to see ,%akespe>e4 ,at ,cov5t ,g>d5 x is ! gall]y t c>es = music1 & ! boxes are full ( we>y fa%ion1 :i* arrives late & talks all ! "t4 ,"h ! h\ses are ov]cr[d$ ) work]s & peasants :o li/5 to ! mo/ classical op]as4 ,h !y only gone z someone might ) a new s5se ( possession to inspect a prop]ty !y h sudd5ly inh]it$8 ,or h !y a true love ( ! beautiful & a real p[] ( discrim9ation8 ,^! are ! que/ions ,i ask myself4 ,civilisation has put on s _m g>m5ts t "o has tr\ble 9 gett+ d[n to reality4 ,"o ne$s to ?r[ (f civilisation & to beg9 anew1 & beg9 bett]1 & all t is requir$ is j c\rage4 ,:at ,l59 ?9ks ab\t nations applies to individuals4 ,be=e recon/ruction c take place !re mu/ be a revolution to oblit]ate ev]y?+ 9 "o t exi/$ be=e4 ,i am appall$ by ! realisation ( my upbr++ & ! futile view-po9t in/ill$ into me by an obsolete class tradition4 ,"t is ! mo/ valuable mat]ial 9 ! _w1 & !re at lea/ we all />t equally1 b ,i 0 taught to scatt] m9e ?\ghtlessly1 z ?\gh x 7 inf9ite4 ,n[ = ! fir/ "t ,i feel morally & m5tally free1 & yet !y say !re is no fre$om "h4 ,if a pap] pass or an id5tification c>d hamp]s "o's fre$om1 !n x is true4 ,!re may be re/rictions to ! individual1 & if ,i 7 a ,russian subject ,i might n be all[$ to leave ! c\ntry1 b ,i seem to h be5 oblig$ to leave ,engl& r cl&e/9ely4 ,fre$om is an illusion1 !re really is n any 9 ! _w except ! fre$om "o creates intellectually = oneself4 ,my "w is end$1 b ,i am lo? to g4 ,i love ?is place & all ! p 9 x4 ,i love ! p ,i h met1 & ! p :o pass by me 9 ! /reet4 ,i love ! atmosph]e lad5 ) melan*oly1 ) sacrifice1 ) trag$y4 ,i am inspir$ by ?is ,nation1 purifi$ by ,fire4 ,i admire ! dignity ( _! suff]+ & ! c\rage ( _! belief4 ,i %\ld l to live among !m = ev]1 or else "w = !m outside1 "w & fight = ! ,peace t w heal _! w\nds4 ,,novemb] #e,,?4 ,a message has arriv$ at ?ird h& f ,kal991 (f]+ to sit to me4 ,he promis$ to a long "t ago be=e he w5t to ! front4 ,he got back f ! front on ,octob] #cj?1 ) ,kam5eff1 & _h he giv5 me ! *ance !n !re w\ld h be5 pl5ty ( "t4 ,n[ ev]y?+ is settl$ = me to g to-morr[ ) ,pr(essor ,lomonos(f 9 8 special tra94 ,i am v disappo9t$1 ,kal99 has a head t int]e/s me4 ,i h want$ to d a ,russian peasant type1 & he is "o4 ,b if ,i d n get away 9 ,lomonos(f's tra9 ,i may delay a long "t4 ,engl& seems s v f> away1 & ! *ildr5 w ?9k ,i h =gott5 !m4 ,p]haps if ,i c\ld "w )\t my f+]s gett+ froz5 ,i w\ld /op & d him1 & d ,litv9(f too4 ,b ,i h made a failure ( my soldi]1 & x is n enc\rag+4 ,an appo9tm5t 0 made = me ) ,kal99 at #a o'clock to see him 9 8 (fice4 ,litv9(f k9dly took me !re4 ,x 0 9 "s build+ fac+ ! ,kreml94 ,we w5t 9 & aft] "s se>*+ & inquiry1 f\nd ! out] rooms ( 8 (fice4 ,!re seem$ to be two or ?ree ( ^!1 & !y 7 full ( p sitt+ on b5*es r\nd ! wall4 ,"s look$ mis]able1 & 7 curl$ up 9 a heap ) %awls ov] _! heads1 o!rs 7 sleep+ 9 corn]s1 or huddl$ up by ! /ove4 ,!y spat on ! floor1 smok$ & 7 p]fectly sil5t4 ,^! 7 all p :o came ) a grievance to lay be=e _! ,presid5t4 ,litv9(f1 :5 he w5t 91 ask$ :e!r x 0 ,kal99's (fice--a nod & a grunt ass5t$ t x 04 ,litv9(f1 :o is impati5t1 w5t f room to room1 b we c\ld f9d no trace ( ,kal994 ,illu/ration3 ,,litv9(f ,,at ,,mosc[4 ,f9ally he op5$ a door t prov$ to be ! private (fice1 & a %ort hair$ girl secret>y look$ up & said ,kal99 might return 9 half an h\r4 ,s he might1 b ) an exp]i5ce ( ,russian (ficial appo9tm5ts1 x seem$ likely t he might n appe> = a c\ple ( h\rs4 ,we left messages & retreat$4 ,on our way out someone1 r\s+ himself f a corn]1 ask$ :e!r ,kal99 0 really 9 8 room or n4 ,p]haps !y ?\ght we 7 privileg$ p1 :ile !y 7 kept wait+2 ,i 0 r glad t we c\ld say he 0 n !re4 ,i came away ) a melan*oly impression ( ! place1 b ,kal991 ) 8 k9dly face1 mu/ be ! be/ sort ( man to :om ! p c tell _! tr\bles4 ,we !n drove to ! /atue ( ,do/oievsky1 :i* is a beautiful bit ( "w 9 granite & :i* ,i want$ to photograph4 ,9 ! same squ>e !re is ano!r granite /atue by ! same arti/1 :i* is usually kn[n z 8,! ,?9k]40 ,x is1 if any?+1 bett] ?an ! ,do/oievsky4 ,f !re ,i w5t to ! ,kreml9 to see h[ ! pack+ ( my heads 0 progress+4 ,i 0 surpris$ to f9d t ! wood5 cases _h be5 deliv]$1 ow+1 no d\bt1 to ! comb9$ ef=ts ( ,kam5eff1 ,litv9(f1 ,&rev1 & my k9d ,comrade ,yna*idse1 f :om all bless+s fl[4 ,moreov] ! heads 7 pack$1 s t !re 0 no?+ = me to d4 ,i said good-bye v sadly to my nice m\ld]1 :om ,i l s mu*4 ,he is intellig5t1 well-mann]$1 & effici5t4 ,he b5t d[n & kiss$ my h& ) ! simplicity & dignity ( a pr9ce4 ,i gave him a wooll5 j]sey1 z he feels ! cold1 & ) all 8 ?\s&s ( r\bles t he e>ns he _c buy su* a ?+4 ,i gave "o la/ look r\nd ! grim room to :i* ,i h become atta*$1 &1 ) a lump 9 my ?roat1 dep>t$ d[n ! long /one passage1 ?r\gh :i* my foot/eps re-e*o$ = ! la/ "t4 ,!n ,i cross$ ! c\rty>d & w5t to lun* at ! ,kreml9 table d'hte4 ,?is table d'hte1 :i* is ! ,communi/ re/aurant res]v$ = all ! ,commiss>s & work]s 9 ! ,kreml91 0 unusually full to-day4 ,i 0 lucky to get my place4 ,lun>*>sky sat opposite me4 ,he has j return$ to ,mosc[ & ,i regrett$ !re 0 no "o pres5t :o c\ld introduce u4 ,my neighb\rs obs]v$ me read+ an ,engli% guide-book to ! ,kreml91 & attempt$ odd bits ( conv]sation1 b _! ,engli% completely broke d[n4 ,x is a great loss n be+ able to und]/& a ^w ( ,russian1 z ! g5]al conv]sation at ! long table 0 v animat$ & mu/ h be5 int]e/+4 ,illu/ration3 ,,/atue ,,( ,,do/oievsky4 p4 #aha4 ,illu/ration3 ,,/atue 8,,! ,,?9k]40 p4 #aha4 ,! int]e/ = me 0 9 ! faces ( ! m5 !mselves1 :o 7 ( ! mo/ v>i$ type x w\ld be possible to collect4 ,"o c\ld n say !y 7 typically ,russian or typical ( any race or ( any p>ticul> "*1 & yet !re 0 "s invisible l9k t b\nd all ^! m5 toge!r 9 "o common ?\ght4 ,aft] lun* ,&rev fet*$ me1 & an (ficial %[$ u all ov] ! ,ts>'s palace4 ,!re 7 exquisite small rooms ) vault$ ceil+s & fresco$ walls1 f :i* x 0 evid5t t ! /age sc5]y 9 ! ,russian op]as _h be5 copi$4 ,!re 7 /ill traces ( r$ bunt+ & appeals to ! work]s ( ! _w to unite 9 ! colossal room1 ov]-decorat$ ) gold1 :i* 0 ! ,?rone ,room ( ! ,roman(fs1 & 9 :i* ! ,?ird ,int]national _h its la/ meet+4 ,! mod]n ap>tm5ts 9 ! new w+ are bad ar*itecture & 9 bad ta/e1 b ev]y?+ is left undi/urb$4 ,ev5 ! photographs ( ! ,ts>'s ,coronation are /ill hang+ 9 _! frames 9 "s ( ! rooms4 ,! ,royal ,family sc>cely came to ,mosc[1 s t ! place mu/ h always _h an un9habit$ feel+4 ,"o did n feel ! gho/s ( =m] times z 9 "s ( ! old] p>ts ( ! build+4 ,my la/ ev5+ 0 sp5t ) ,&rev1 ,litv9(f & ,kam5eff1 :o came & sat 9 my room4 ,kam5eff br\ght me a %eepsk9 hat1 su* z ,i _h se5 at ! ,sukh>efski m>ket & want$ s mu*1 also ! #ajj ,i _h entru/$ to 8 c>e :5 we />t$1 :i* ,i h nev] _h occasion to sp5d4 ,he !n told me t my dep>ture 0 mo/ ill-tim$4 ,to-morr[ is ! eve ( ! ,anniv]s>y ( ! ,revolution4 ,!re are go+ to be great celebrations4 ,a big meet+ w be held at ! ,op]a ,h\se1 at :i* ,l59 & ,trotsky are go+ to speak4 ,x is only on v r>e occasions t ,l59 appe>s 9 public1 & x w\ld be int]e/+ to he> him4 ,! meet+ is call$ = #d o'clock1 b x w be ?ree or f\r h\rs late1 & my tra9 leaves at #h4 ,if only ,lomonos(f w\ld delay 8 tra9 ,i c\ld att5d4 ,! next day1 on ! #g?1 !re w be a ball1 & on ! #h? a banquet at our h\se = ! ,=eign ,(fice4 ,moreov]1 ! ,ent5te pap]s promise a c\p d'tat = ! #g? & ,litv9(f sugge/$ t ,i %\ld wait & 8see ! %[40 ,b ,i "k by exp]i5ce t ,i %\ld only wait 9 va94 ,:5 ,i 0 alone ) ,kam5eff he said to me3 8,well1 did ,i keep my promises80 ,i told him t ev]y?+ _h be5 fulfill$1 & _h exce$$ ev5 my expectations4 ,i told him ,i 0 ov]:elm$ by ! k9dness ,i _h receiv$ 8consid]+ ,i am an ,illu/ration3 ,,! ,,sukh>efski ,,m>ket4 p4 #ahd4 enemy ,engli%woman40 ,he w\ld n li/5 to any words ( appreciation1 he smil$ 9 8 g5ial1 k9dly way3 8,( c\rse we 7 glad to receive y1 & to h y among u1 une femme arti/e1 :at did x matt] to u1 y\r nationality1 or y\r relations4 ,!re is only "o ?+1 que n\s ne p\vons pas support]10 & = ! fir/ "t 9 all ! mon?s ,i h kn[n him1 a h>d look pass$ ov] 8 face1 & he set 8 tee?3 8,! only ?+ we _c /& c'e/ l'espionage10 & ! way he said x gave me a %iv] d[n my sp9e4 ,x 0 only a pass+ %ad[1 & ! next mom5t he 0 tell+ me t he really reg>d$ me z a woman ( c\rage = com+ j on 8 ^w1 add+ t :5 he saw me on ! dep>ture plat=m 8) two small h&bags1 ,i knew 9 t mom5t t y 7 n any ord9>y woman60 ,we look$ back on our ,london days & laugh+ly discuss$ ! fir/ sitt+ :5 he invit$ me to come to ,mosc[4 ,i told him 8,i did n believe t y 7 s]i\s :5 y ask$ me10 & he said1 8nei!r did ,i believe y 7 s]i\s :5 y accept$40 ,he !n proce$$ to outl9e = me exactly :at ! effect ( my ,mosc[ visit w\ld h on my fri5ds1 on my family1 9 ! ,press1 & on my c>e]4 ,8 accuracy rema9s to be se54 ,,novemb] #f,,?4 ,(f at la/--:at a hectic day4 ,litv9(f telephon$ to me 9 ! morn+ f ! ,commiss>iat to say t my big wood5 cases 7my c(f9s ,i call !m1 !y are ! same %ape7 7 go+ to be convey$ f my /udio to ! /ation1 & t ,i ne$ n conc]n myself ab\t !m4 ,x 0 n until midday t ,i le>nt = c]ta9 t ,pr(essor ,lomonos(f 0 go+ to />t to-night4 ,9 ,russia "o makes no plans1 ?+s happ5 :5 !y happ56 ,) a ra%ness t ne>ly prov$ reckless1 ,i di/ribut$ my few belong+s among my fri5ds4 ,to a lady doctor-fri5d ( ,&rev :o _h be5 nice to me1 ,i left all my /ock+s1 a box ( soap1 a skirt1 a j]sey & my clo? ov]coat4 ,to ! maids 9 ! h\se1 my %oes & golo%es1 workbag1 j]sey1 fur-l9$ dress+ jacket1 pair ( gloves1 & hat4 ,to ,ro?/e91 z a p>t+ gift1 my hot-wat] bottle & m$ic9e case4 ,i />t$ on my j\rney 9 ! clo!s ,i /ood up 94 ,! maids1 to my int5se emb>rassm5t1 kiss$ my h&s & ne>ly wept4 ,i ne>ly kiss$ !m 9 return4 ,i />t$ (f ) ,litv9(f1 & ,ro?/e9 came to ! front door to see ! la/ ( me4 ,he ov]:elm$ me ) complim5ts3 8,y h be5 a brick1 y h play$ up spl5didly1 y h nev] compla9$40 ,i tri$ to expla9 t ,i hadn't play$ up1 & t ,i _h n be5 any?+ except v happy4 ,i might h add$ t liv+ ,communi/ically _h prov$ to me t "o mu/ ei!r love or hate ! p "o sees e day = any l5g? ( "t4 ,hate may be temp]$ into dislike1 & ,love may be m appropriately t]m$ fri5d%ip or affection1 b x 0 c]ta9ly affection t ,i _h gr[n to feel = ,ro?/e94 ,he seem$ someh[ to belong to our environm5t1 we %\ld h miss$ him if he hadn't be5 !re4 ,j occasionally he said ?+s ab\t ,engl& t r\s$ opposition 9 me4 ,i feel ab\t ,engl& z mo/ p d ab\t _! relations1 t ,i may abuse my own1 b no "o else may4 ,i realis$1 :5 ,i got to "k him bett]1 t 8 attitude 0 n s mu* "o ( ho/ility to ,engl& z ( int5se pride 9 ,russia1 & s ,i =gave him4 ,dur+ my fir/ days 9 ,mosc[1 ,ro?/e9 unfail+ly cross-que/ion$ me at supp] z to h[ ,i _h sp5t my day1 :]e ,i _h lun*$1 :om ,i _h se51 & :at "t ,i _h come home4 ,at la/ ,i said to him3 8,don't ask me1 try & f9d out10 & ,i *aff$ him s t he _h to give up ask+4 ,i nev] knew :e!r !re 0 a motive 9 8 curiosity or n4 ,at all ev5ts1 he nev] 0 any?+ b a k9dly & helpful fri5d to me4 ,i drove away f ,no4 #ad1 ,s(iskaya ,nab]ezhnaya 9 an op5 c> 9 ! bright light ( a full moon1 glitt]+ />s1 & h>d fro/4 ,litv9(f1 obs]v+ t ,i look$ back at x r s5tim5tally1 said3 8,t is y\r ,mosc[ home1 ! next "t y come y w br+ y\r *ildr510 & ,i felt t ,i did n look ^u x = ! la/ "t4 ,we drove fir/ to ! ,commiss>iat = ,=eign ,affairs1 z he _h "s packages ( pap]s to pick up !re :i* he _h tak5 away 9 ! morn+ to h seal$ up = me4 ,i wait$ outside 9 ! c> = "s "t4 ,:5 he rejo9$ me he 0 agitat$1 my 8c(f9s10 he _h j le>nt1 7 /ill at ! ,kreml94 ,organisation _h misc>ri$1 x 0 8somebody's0 fault4 ,! lorry _h wait$ = !m ?ree h\rs1 b ! s5try at ! build+ _h refus$ to deliv] !m up4 ,:at c\ld h happ5$8 ,ev]yone 0 at ! big ,op]a ,h\se meet+1 s all telephon+ ef=ts to get hold ( responsible help _h be5 9 va94 ,we _h ?ree-qu>t]s ( an h\r be=e ! tra9 0 due to />t4 ,i sugge/$ driv+ to ! ,kreml9 to see :at we c\ld d4 ,happily ,i /ill _h my pass on me1 s we got 9 by ! s5try4 ,! build+1 ev] be=e s busy1 0 n[ utt]ly des]t$ & resonant4 ,i unlock$ ! door ( my /udio1 & !re 7 ! two c(f9s ly+ pack$ & seal$ & unmov$4 ,i lift$ "o end ( "o1 x 0 f> beyond our comb9$ /r5g?s to c>ry1 & ! motor c\ld n h tak5 !m4 ,we gave x up 9 despair4 ,d[n 9 ! c\rty>d our c> refus$ to move1 ! *auffeur 0 t9k]+ at x4 ,x seem$ to h a real conge/$ *ill4 ,tra9 "t 0 draw+ ne>4 ,! /ation 0 "s way (f4 8,/ay10 said ,litv9(f4 ,i _h visions ( /ay+1 p]haps indef9itely1 hav+ p>t$ ) all except :at ,i /ood up 94 ,i look$ r\nd at ! belov$ ,kreml91 to :i* ,i _h already said good-bye n expect+ to see x aga94 ,x seem$ m beautiful ?an ev]1 m /ill1 m dignifi$1 m impassive4 ,! clock 9 ! old ,spassky t[] compla9+ly *im$ ?ree times1 x 0 a qu>t] to sev54 ,at la/ ! c> brea!d1 puls$1 />t$1 !n /opp$4 ,!n puls$1 grunt$1 & />t$ aga94 ,we 7 (f1 &1 z ! road lay d[n hill1 x seem$ possible t ! c>1 :i* 0 misfir+ badly1 might j get !re4 ,x seem$ to be an ev5+ ( mi%aps1 & ,i felt fat$ n to leave ,mosc[4 ,h[ev]1 we rea*$ ! /ation at exactly #g1 & ,i ga!r$ up all ,i c\ld 9 ea* h&1 & ran t[>ds a cr[d t /ood by ! only tra9 9 ! /ation4 ,litv9(f %\t$ to me 8y ne$n't run40 ,inde$1 ,i ne$ n1 z ! only tra9 9 ! /ation 0 n ! tra9 ( ,pr(essor ,lomonos(f4 ,8 special came 9 at ano!r plat=m ab\t half an h\r lat]1 & nev] w5t out till aft] #i4 ,_h we kn[n1 some?+ c\ld h be5 done 9 ! "t to get ! cases to ! tra91 also ,i c\ld h gone to ! meet+ & he>d ,l594 ,no "o 0 m frantic ?an ,lomonos(f1 :o prid$ himself on 8 tra9 be+ punctual4 ,b x c\ld n be help$1 ! tra9 _h j return$ f ! ,urals1 & 0 9 a /ate ( disord]4 ,litv9(f1 :5 he said good-bye to me1 promis$ to s5d on my cases by c\ri] to ,reval 9 "t to cat* ! ,/ockholm boat4 ,he !n ar\s$ my curiosity by tell+ me t he _h be5 a bett] fri5d to me ?an ,i %\ld ev] "k4 ,i begg$ him to expla91 b he said t ,i mu/ wait t5 ye>s or s4 ,,novemb] #g,,?4 ,9 ! tra94 ,pr(essor ,lomonos(f is ! ,m9i/] ( ,railways4 ,we are c>ry+ six & a half million p\nds 9 gold1 :i* he is tak+ to ,g]many to buy locomotives4 ,we are accompani$ by an arm$ gu>d4 ,we 7 held up _m h\rs la/ night because !re 0 an accid5t on-! l9e & x took a long "t to cle>4 ,p]iodically ! axle ( ! gold c> breaks or ! oil-box takes fire1 & we /op p]petually3 b we are /eadily ne>+ our goal4 ,x really does n matt] h[ long we take s long z we cat* next ,?ursday's boat f ,reval4 ,besides ,lomonos(f's /aff1 :i* he is tak+ ) him to ,g]many1 our p>ty consi/s ( ,v&]lip & ,neuroteva1 & a *>m+ man call$ ,d----1 :o is a railway exp]t4 ,he 0 once a v ri* man & 9 ! ,ts>'s ent\rage4 ,he seem$ anxi\s to tell me z quickly z possible t he 0 a ,mon>*i/1 z if to be mi/ak5 = a ,bol%evik 7 m ?an he c\ld be>4 ,he look$ anmic & well br$1 ) deep-set1 sad eyes & a calm & resignation t 7 almo/ tragic4 ,he diff]$ bitt]ly & op5ly 9 8 views f ,lomonos(f1 & said3 8,i am a ,russian4 ,i am work+ = ,russia1 n = ! ,bol%eviks10 & !n call$ !m robb]s4 ,pr(essor ,lomonos(f sat back 9 8 *air & *uckl$4 ,he said3 8,y call u robb]s1 b we call$ y robb]s40 ,x 0 j a "q ( :i* robb] came out on top4 ,aft]w>ds1 :5 ,lomonos(f left u1 ,i begg$ ,d---- n to indulge 9 any m political discussions4 8,i %all be ov] ! fronti] 9 a few h\rs1 b y h to live "h4 ,d take he$ = y\rself40 ,he %rugg$ 8 %\ld]s4 8,"o dies b once10 he said1 laugh+1 & !n expla9$3 8,!y "k my views well1 b ,i c d good "w = !m1 & !y "k t ,i am n 9 t\* ) c\nt]-,revolution>y movem5ts1 & t ,i take no "p 9 politics1 s ,i am safe en\gh40 ,lomonos(f1 :o _h be5 a railway (ficial 9 ,ts>i/ days1 told u h[ he _h accompani$ ! ,ts>'s tra9 to ,ts>skoe-,selo4 ,! ,ts>1 he said1 _h ev5 up to t mom5t n realis$ ! mean+ ( ! ,revolution4 ,he probably ?\ght he 0 retir+ to ,sib]ia until ! /orm _h bl[n ov]4 ,at ! /ation1 on 8 arrival1 8 bodygu>d _h by c\rtesy be5 drawn up to greet him4 ,! ,ts> alight$ f ! tra91 & w5t to inspect ! gu>d ) ! usual greet+3 8,good heal? to y1 soldi]s60 ,! answ] is3 8,good heal? to y\r ,imp]ial ,maje/y10 b on ?is occasion ! soldi]s answ]$ almo/ ) "o voice1 8,good heal? to y1 ,colonel60 ,! ,ts> seem$ to realise = ! fir/ "t ! real situation4 ,he became a%5 :ite1 turn$ ! coll> ( 8 ov]coat up1 & %rank away4 ,lomonos(f also gave u a vivid & ?rill+ acc\nt ( ! detail$ organisation1 9 :i* he took "p1 ) ! purpose ( wreck+ ! ,ts>'s tra9 :ile he 0 on 8 way to ,sib]ia4 ,two runaway eng9es 7 to be despat*$ ) no "o on bo>d to collide ) ! back ( ! ,ts>'s tra94 ,^! plans 7 only fru/rat$ at ! la/ second by news ( ! ,ts>'s abdication4 ,:5 he proce$$ to tell u h[ ! ,ts>'s ent\rage des]t$ him z rats d a s9k+ %ip1 x 0 evid5tly v pa9ful to ,d---- :o sat grimly sil5t4 ,i c\ld n help feel+ t !y enjoy$ 8 discomfiture a little bit4 ,lat]1 :5 we 7 aga9 alone toge!r1 he said to me r passionately3 8,x is n true t ev]yone des]t$ my ,ts>1 = my be/ fri5d foll[$ him to ,sib]ia to %>e 8 dea?1 & !re 7 devot$ fri5ds ( ! ,ts>9a :o did ! same40 ,we are n[ ne>+ ! fronti]4 ,! little c\ntry /ations1 decorat$ = ! #g? ) r$ bunt+ & pictures ( ,l591 w soon be pass$4 ,back we g to ! old _w ( tips & re/aurants & civilisation4 ,good-bye1 wond] _w1 good-bye--good-bye6 ,,novemb] #ab,,?4 ,reval1 ,e/honia4 ,we arriv$ 9 ,reval late on ,tuesday night1 ! #i?4 ,i 0 h&$ a package conta9+ my two volumes ( di>y & all my kodak films1 :i* ?anks to ,litv9(f _h be5 seal$ ) ,gov]nm5t seals & confid$ to a c\ri] :o kept !m 9 8 *>ge until we 7 ov] ! fronti]4 ,i h writt5 my di>y all ^! weeks z tru/+ly z ?\gh ,i 7 9 my own home1 nev] =esee+ any difficulties ( dep>ture4 ,my tru/ 9 ,provid5ce is always ju/ifi$4 ,! next day ,i w5t to ! ,briti% ,consulate4 ,mr4 ,leslie 7no relation7 made me extremely welcome4 ,he said t he _h he>d ( me f ,h4 ,g4 ,wells1 & t until !n he _h n kn[n ,i 0 9 ,russia3 ,i _h 7reproa*fully7 n address$ myself to ! ,consulate on my 9-go+ j\rney4 ,i f\nd t he _h a ,h5ry ,james cult1 & _h read ev]y?+ ,h5ry ,james _h writt51 includ+ ! two volumes ( lett]s4 ,he gave me 8 ba?room = an h\r & a half1 invit$ me to lun*eon & !n arrang$ = me to /ay ! rema9+ two days 9 ,reval ) a mo/ hospitable ,engli% c\ple1 ,mr4 & ,mrs4 ,h>wood1 :o liv$ 9 a beautiful villa on ! sea%ore4 ,!re ,i 0 ov]:elm$ by k9dness4 ,i also le>n$ ) "s curiosity & int]e/ ! politics ( ,e/honia1 ! half-,bol%evik conditions ( ?+s1 & ! hi/ory ( ! ,baltic ,g]mans1 _! settlem5t 9 ,reval & _! =c$ dep>ture4 ,x is an amus+ b complicat$ little side-%[4 ,dur+ my /ay 9 ,reval ,i _h to g sev]al times to ! ,soviet headqu>t]s at ! ,hotel ,pet]sburg4 ,x amuses me to recall my bewild]$ impression ( la/ ,septemb]4 ,?is "t :5 ,i w5t ,i felt ?or\ghly at home4 ,n only did ,comrade ,gai take a great deal ( tr\ble = me1 b ,gukovski receiv$ me z a fri5d4 ,on ,?ursday morn+ ! c(f9s arriv$ f ,mosc[ by c\ri]1 z promis$ by ,litv9(f1 & ,i _h a f9e game ( dodge4 ,gai s5t !m on a lorry to me at ! ,briti% ,consulate j :5 ,i _h left1 & !y return$ to ! ,hotel ,pet]sb\rg :ile ,i 0 *as+ aft] !m to ! ,briti% ,consulate4 ,f9ally ,i got !m d[n to ! quay1 b !y 7 n all[$ on bo>d because !re 0 n ! requir$ (ficial pap] f ,mosc[4 ,_h ! %ip left z %e 0 suppos$ to leave at midday1 !y c]ta9ly w\ld n h be5 on bo>d1 b !re 0 a /orm brew+ s ! %ip delay$ sail+ a day4 ,:5 ,gai _h f9ally s5t me ! necess>y pap]1 ,i s\ght out ! ,capta9 & begg$ him to h my cases put some:]e especially safe4 8,!y conta9 ! heads ( ,l59 & ,trotsky10 ,i exclaim$4 ,! ,capta9 look$ awfully impress$ & pleas$1 s pleas$ t ,i add$ 8pla/] heads--& breakable40 8,a pla/] head ( ,trotsky--& breakable8 ,come on6 let u break ,trotsky's head10 & he made t[>ds x ?reat5+ly1 mu* to ! amusem5t ( ! onlook]s4 ,my dep>ture f ,reval 0 mo/ c>efully & k9dly sup]9t5d$ by my late ,bol%evik ho/s1 ^: repres5tatives 9 ,reval & also ,pr(essor ,lomonos(f & 8 /aff did ev]y?+ 9 _! p[] to be k9d & att5tive4 ,we are on our way n[ to ,/ockholm1 ,i f9d ! same ,sw$i% bank]1 ,mr4 ,as*b]g1 on bo>d :o w5t across ) u 9 ,septemb]4 ,he is 9 *>ge ( a cab9 full ( gold4 ,he takes good c>e ( me & ,i am glad to f9d a fri5d4 ,i am told ! food on bo>d is v bad1 b ,i ?9k x is m>vell\s4 ,,novemb] #af,,?4 ,/ockholm1 ,sw$54 ,i h lo/ all track ( "t4 ,/orms =c$ our little boat to an*or "u ! %elt] ( an ,al& isle = two days & a night4 ,on our arrival late at night at ,/ockholm we 7 met by ,pr(essor ,lomonos(f's repres5tative ) a c>1 & aft] we _h all be5 submitt$ to a se>*1 n = arms1 b = insects1 & decl>$ fit to /ep on to ,sw$i% soil1 ,i 0 :irl$ (f to ! ,hotel ,anglais4 ,i _h fully expect$ to be lo/ & =gott5 on leav+ ,mosc[1 b "h ,i am be+ tak5 c>e ( 9 ! ?ird c\ntry away4 ,if ! ,/ockholm exp]i5ces =e%ad[ my com+ reception 9 ,engl&1 x promises to be hectic4 ,i am n all[$ brea?+ space1 nor eat+ space4 ,report]s besiege me4 ,!y ev5 walk up to my room )\t be+ ann\nc$4 ,i am s ignorant ( ! pap]s !y repres5t t ,i say all ! wrong ?+s4 ,"o pap]1 a ,cons]vative "o1 says t ,i decl>$ ,trotsky to be a p]fect g5tleman4 ,?is1 if x gets back to ,mosc[1 is mo/ emb>rass+4 ,nev] 9 my wilde/ mom5ts w\ld ,i use s m$iocre a description to apply to ,trotsky4 ,i might say he 0 a g5ius1 a sup]man1 or a devil4 ,anyway1 9 ,russia we talk ( m5 & wom5 & n ( ladies & g5tlem54 ,i d>e say t ! editor meant well1 & t ?+s get di/ort$ 9 translation4 ,! exp]i5ce ( return+ ?r\gh ,/ockholm is r unique4 ,because we h bo? come out ( ,russia toge!r1 ,mr4 ,v&]lip & ,i h be5 ent]ta9$ at ! same p>ties1 b = me ,fr$]ick ,/rm & ! ,russian ,bol%eviks are invit$ & = ,v&]lip ! lead+ ,sw$i% bank]s4 ,x is a que] amalgamation1 b x works well4 ,! fir/ ev5+ ,i talk$ to ,sociali/ ,/rm & a ,cons]vative bank] = an h\r & a half 9 fl[+ b execrable ,g]man4 ,!y did n laugh at my gramm>1 b li/5$ & spurr$ me on ) que/ions4 ,! ,g]man ( my *ildhood slightly practis$ 9 ,mosc[ has return$ to me ) a ru%4 ,i h be5 invit$ to d a monum5t = a public squ>e 9 ,/ockholm repres5t+ ,peace unit+ ! work]s ( ! ,"r & ,left ,w+s4 ,! money has be5 subscrib$ 9 kron] by ! workpeople4 ,x is an int]national ?+1 & !y w\ld be pleas$ if ,i w\ld d x4 ,x is a subject :i* r l5ds itself to allegorical treatm5t & appeals to ! imag9ation4 ,i am n[ 9 ! night tra9 = ,gteborg4 ,be=e ,i left ,i w5t to tea ) ! *ildr5 at ! ,palace4 ,! ,cr[n ,pr9ce un=tunately 0 9 ,rome4 ,! *ildr5 seem$ lonely1 b well4 ,pr9cess ,+r$ look$ sad1 big-ey$ & r pale4 ,! baby1 ,johnny1 is adorable4 ,he is a ?+ s sweet to woman1 s mu* to be appreciat$4 ,"o feels ! mat]nal _s-arms r\nd him4 ,i also w5t to see ! ,comptroll] ( ! ,que5's h\sehold1 an arti/ & an old fri5d ( _m ye>s4 ,"h ! impression ,i receiv$ ( prejudice aga9/ my ,russian fri5ds 0 ov]:elm+1 b ,i suppose1 9 ,c\rt circles1 ?is is to be expect$4 ,,novemb] #ah,,?4 ,goteborg to ,newca/le4 ,m delays1 ow+ to /orms4 ,always !re are delays on ?is j\rney1 d :at "o w x is impossible to hurry4 ,9 pre-w> days x took two days to come f ,russia4 ,n[ x takes two weeks4 ,,novemb] #bc,,rd4 ,london4 ,we arriv$ at ,newca/le at midnight on ! #ai?4 ,/eam+ up ! ,tyne at night is wond]ful1 all ! arc lights ?r[+ into relief great ma*9]y & con/ruction4 ,! activity & "w look$ colossal4 ,h[ c ,russia fight ?is iron indu/rialism8 ,z soon z we _h glid$ alongside ! quay1 & ,i _h t\*$ ,engli% soil once m1 ,i 0 n left 9 d\bt "o mom5t z to ! tru? ( ,kam5eff's premonitions4 ,:ile ! c(f9s 7 be+ op5$ ) *isel & hamm] at ! ,cu/om ,h\se1 report]s1 :o decl>$ !y _h come f ,london & _h be5 wait+ two days1 clam\r$ = in=mation4 ,! head (ficial ( ! ,cu/oms 0 v abrupt 9 8 mann] & subject$ all my luggage to a mo/ ru?less se>*4 ,i did n decl>e ! id5tity ( my heads1 b f ! unpleasant (ficial attitude ,i guess$ t !y 7 already kn[n4 ,"o (ficial began exam9+ a l>ge album ( photographs4 ,i said to him3 8,t isn't contrab&1 !y are photographs ( my "w2 yes1 t "o is ,mr4 ,*ur*ill1 if x int]e/s y1 y may look at x40 ,he ne>ly flung x d[n4 8,i've no sc5t & no tobacco1 "o doesn't get ^? ?+s 9 ,russia10 ,i said4 ,un=tunately at t m9ute he came ^u a packet ( ,soviet cig>ettes1 my la/ ration t ,i _h c>efully kept & br\ght back to ,engl&4 ,b he said3 8,t is n :at we are look+ =40 ,:atev] he 0 look+ = he didn't f9d4 ,he !n pok$ 8 arm up to ! elb[ 9 ! /raw & %av+s t wrapp$ up ,dzhirj9sky1 until satisfi$ t x 0 n a ,*ri/mas bran pie4 ,i !n got x nail$ d[n aga91 & accept$ ! newspap] report]s' invitation to drive ) !m f ! quay to ! /ation4 ,!re ano!r man met me arm$ ) a kodak & a fla%light4 ,i sympa?ise ) pr(essional ke5ness1 b ,i w n be but*]$ to make a ,roman holiday4 ,! mom5t seem$ inappropriate4 ,!re 7 inebriat$ "y fell[s %\t+1 s++1 & fall+ ab\t ! /ations to su* an ext5t t ! policeman1 :o _h va9ly tri$ to look ! o!r way1 _h f9ally to take notice1 b he _h to knock "o ( !m d[n be=e he c\ld arre/ him4 ,x 0 a revolt+ sight to :i* "o _h gr[n unaccu/om$4 ,i 0 glad to get into my sleep] & %ut out ! sight & s\nd ( ,newca/le at midnight4 ,s9ce !n my s\l1 my life1 my "t1 has be5 no long] my own4 ,i h be5 pursu$1 besieg$1 h>ass$1 fea/$1 attack$1 apprais$ 9 turn4 ,i h se5 ! anti-,bol%evik 9 all 8 glory ( prejudice1 hate & bitt]ness4 ,! ,bol%evik is a new ph5om5on1 b ! anti-,bol%evik is m]ely hi/ory repeat+ itself4 ,we read ( ! same condition ( m9d 9 ,engl& aft] ! ,napoleonic w>s2 ! same fe> ( ,fr5* ,revolution>y ideas1 & same action & reactions4 ,yet1 if p w\ld only realise x1 ,revolutions are n caus$ by propag&a1 nor by plots4 ,9 ,russia ! ,revolution fail$ e "t x 0 organis$4 ,x 0 br\ght ab\t by cause & effect at ! v mom5t :5 ! pres5t lead]s 7 9 exile 9 ! f\r corn]s ( ! globe4 ,alex9sky says 9 8 8,mod]n ,russia03 8,seek = ! cause ( ,revolution nei!r 9 ! ard5t propag&a ( ! ,revolutioni/s--nor 9 ! bad qualities ( mon>*s & _! advis]s1 b 9 ! deep & sil5t op]ation ( c]ta9 =ces1 :i* lead new social classes ^u ! /age ( hi/ory40 ,x is futile to wa/e hate ^u ^! =ces1 or to call !m ,l59 & ,trotsky1 :5 really x is ! law ( evolution & *ange t is demon/rat+ 9 c]ta9 p>ts ( ! e>?4 ,,! ,,end4 ,,! ,,botolph ,,pr9t+ ,,works1 #h1 ,,gate ,,/reet1 ,,k+sway1 ,w4,c4#b4 ,,footnotes3 #a ,e>l ,midleton1 ,pep] ,h>[1 ,godalm+1 ,surrey4 #b ,sydney ,russell ,cooke4 #c ,oswald ,frew51 my bro!r4 #d ,ri*>d ,br9sley ,%]idan1 born ,septemb] #bj?1 #aiae4 #e ,lady ,r&olph ,*ur*ill4 #f ,dr4 ,axel ,mun!1 ,san ,mi*ele1 ,anacapri1 ,italy4 #g ,madame ,leo ,kam5eff4