,,russian ,,portraits                   
,illustration3                          
,bertram ,park4                ,,clare  
,,sheridan ,,in ,,the ,,russian         
,,sheepskin ,,hat                       
,,given ,,to ,,her ,,by ,,kameneff ,,in 
,,moscow4                               
,frontispiece      p4 #ahd4             
,,russian                               
,,portraits                             
,,by ,,clare ,,sheridan                 
,illustration3 colophon                 
,,jonathan ,,cape                       
#aa ,,gower ,,street1 ,,london1 ,w4,c4#a
                                        
,,mcmxxi                                
,,illustrations                         
,,page  ,,clare ,,sheridan              
,frontispiece  8,,victory1 #aiah0       
#ac  ,,krassin 7bust7                   
#ba  ,,kameneff 7bust7                  
#bd  ,,litvinoff ,,and ,,his ,,son      
,,misha ,,at ,,kristiania               
#di  ,,bridge ,,blown ,,up ,,by         
,,yudenitch                             

#fj  ,,gukovski1 ,,his ,,daughter1      
,,kameneff ,,and ,,marinashky           
#fc  ,,marinashky ,,and ,,the           
,,ministerial ,,rolls-,,royce           
#fe  ,,the ,,kremlin1 ,,showing         
,,entrance ,,to ,,the ,,kameneffs'      
,,apartments            #fg  ,,big      
,,bell1 ,,kremlin                       
#gj  ,,colonnades ,,of ,,the ,,alexander
 ,,memorial                             
#ga  ,,serge ,,trotsky ,,and ,,alexandre
 ,,kameneff                             
#gd  ,,bronze ,,eagle ,,at ,,the ,,mus,e
 ,,alexandre ,,iii4                     
#gf  ,,big ,,gun ,,at ,,the ,,kremlin   
#gh  ,,rothstein                        
#ha  ,,st4 ,,saviour',s                 
#hc  ,,zinoviev 7bust7                  
#he  ,,dzhirjinsky 7bust7               
#hh  ,,margaret ,,and ,,richard         
,,brinsley ,,sheridan                   
#ij  ,,church ,,of ,,st4 ,,basil        
#ib  ,,spassky ,,entrance ,,to ,,the    
,,kremlin                               
#aac  ,,lenin 7from a photograph7       

#aah  ,,lenin 7bust7                    
#aai  ,,trotsky 7from a drawing7        
#abd  ,,nicholas ,,andrev               
#abi  ,,trotsky ,,at ,,the ,,front      
#adj  ,,trotsky 7bust7                  
#adc  ,,sentry ,,outside ,,the          
,,guest-,,house                         
#aeh  ,,litvinoff ,,at ,,moscow         
#aha  ,,statue ,,of ,,dostoievsky       
#ahb  ,,statue1 8,,the ,,thinker0       
#ahc  ,,the ,,sukharefski ,,market      
#ahd     ,,foreword   ,it is with deep  
apology that ,i venture to swell the    
ranks of those people who write their   
little books after their little visits  
to ,russia4  ,in defence ,i can only say
 that this was not written for          
publication4 ,i have always kept a      
diary1 in monotonous as in eventful     
days4 ,in publishing a record of my stay
 in ,moscow ,i am submitting to pressure
 without which ,i would not venture upon
 such a line4 ,mine is not the business 
of writing1 nor are politics my concern3
 ,i went to ,moscow where some portrait 

work was offered me4  ,there are people 
in ,england who are indignant at my     
doing ,lenin and ,trotsky4 ,there were  
people in ,moscow who were horrified    
because ,i had done ,churchill1 and     
expressed a desire to do d',annunzio1   
but as a portraitist ,i have nothing to 
do with politics2 it is humanity that   
interests me1 humanity with its force   
and its weakness1 its ambitions and     
fears1 its honesty and lack of scruples1
 its perfection and deformities4  ,there
 are of course people who are pleasanter
 to work for than others1 people in     
whose environment one feels happier and 
more at ease4  ,in this diary are       
written freely the impressions of a     
guest among people who have been much   
talked about4  ,from this point of view1
 and without any political pretentions1 
,i offer it to whomsoever it may        
interest4      ,,russian ,,portraits    
,,august #ad,,th1 #aibj4 ,london4       
,according to ,mr4 ,fisher's            
instructions1 ,i called on ,mr4 ,m--at  

his office at #aj4cj and introduced     
myself4  ,he took me in a taxi to ,bond 
,street to the office of ,messrs4       
,kameneff and ,krassin4 ,we waited for  
about twenty minutes in an anti-chamber1
 and ,i had a certain melodramatic      
feeling4 ,here was ,i1 at all events1 in
 the outer den of these wild beasts who 
have been represented as ready to spring
 upon us and devour us6 ,this movement  
that has caused consternation to the    
world1 and these people so utterly      
removed from my environment1 these myths
 of what seemed almost a great legend1  
,i was now quite close to4 ,meanwhile   
the clerks in the office occupied my    
attention1 they interested me as types1 
and ,i wondered about them1 about       
exactly what in their lives had made    
them into ,bolsheviks1 and what sort of 
mentality it was1 and whether the scheme
 which they upheld was a workable       
concern4  ,at the same time ,mr4 ,m--put
 me straight on a few points1 and all   
the inaccuracies about ,bolshevism that 

people like myself have gleaned1 so that
 ,i was fairly prepared and protected   
against appearing too ignorant and      
foolish4  ,at last the word came and we 
were ushered into the office of ,mr4    
,kameneff who received me amiably and   
smilingly4 ,we started off almost       
immediately1 in ,french1 and discussed  
the subject of his being willing to sit 
to me4 ,i then asked him if a ,soviet   
,government had obliterated ,art in     
,russia4 ,he looked at me for a moment  
in astonishment1 and then said3 8,mais  
non6 ,artists are the most privileged   
class40  ,i asked if they were able to  
earn a living wage8 ,he replied that    
they were paid higher than the          
,government ,ministers4 ,he gave me     
fully to understand that ,russia is most
 appreciative of ,art and ,talent1 and  
is anxious to surround itself with      
culture4  ,he decided that the bust had 
better be started soon1 as one never    
knew what might happen from one moment  
to the next1 8what caprice of ,monsieur 

,lloyd ,george0 might elect to send him 
out of the country at a moment's notice1
 so we decided on the following ,tuesday
 at #aj a4m4 ,mr4 ,kameneff then took us
 downstairs to ,krassin's office4 ,mr4  
,krassin seemed very busy and           
pre-occupied1 had someone in the room1  
and  ,illustration3 8,,victory #aiah40  
p4 #ac4  didn't quite know what ,i had  
come about1 but he agreed to sit to me  
on the following ,wednesday at #aj a4m4 
,,august #ag,,th4  ,kameneff arrived    
almost punctually at #aj a4m4 for an    
hour1 but he stayed till #a o'clock1 and
 we talked for the whole three hours    
almost without stopping4 ,i do not know 
how ,i managed to work and talk so much4
 ,my mind was really more focussed on   
the discussion1 and the work was done   
subconsciously4 ,at all events when the 
three hours were ended1 ,i had produced 
a likeness4  ,there is very little      
modelling in his face1 it is a perfect  
oval1 and his nose is straight with the 
line of his forehead1 but turns up      

slightly at the end1 which is a pity4   
,it is difficult to make him look       
serious1 as he smiles all the time4     
,even when his mouth is severe his eyes 
laugh4  ,my 8,victory0 was unveiled when
 he arrived and he noticed it at once4  
,i told him it represented the ,victory 
of the ,allies1 and he exclaimed3 8,but 
no6 ,it is the ,victory of all the ages4
 ,what pain6 ,what suffering6 ,what     
exhaustion60 ,he then added that it was 
the best bit of ,peace propaganda that  
he had seen4  ,we had wonderful         
conversations4 ,he told me all kinds of 
details of the ,soviet legislation1     
their ideals and aims4 ,their first     
care1 he told me1 is for the children1  
they are the future citizens and require
 every protection4 ,if parents are too  
poor to bring up their children1 the    
,state will clothe1 feed1 harbour and   
educate them until fourteen years old1  
legitimate and illegitimate alike1 and  
they do not need to be lost to their    
parents1 who can see them whenever they 

wish4 ,this system1 he said1 had doubled
 the percentage of marriages 7civil of  
course71 and it had also allayed a good 
deal of crime--for what crimes are not  
committed to destroy illegitimate       
children8  ,he described the enforced   
education of all classes--he told of the
 concerts they organise for their       
workmen1 and of their appreciation of   
,bach and ,wagner4  ,they have had to   
abandon 7already67 the idea that all    
should be paid alike4 ,admitting that   
some are physically able to work longer 
and better than others1 therefore there 
have to be grades of payment1 and when  
great talent shows itself1 8cela merite 
d'tre recompens40  ,chaliapin1 who used 
to have the title of 8,artist to the    
,court10 is now called 8,the ,artist of 
the ,people40 ,chaliapin1 ,i gathered1  
was a very popular figure4  ,after      
awhile1 ,kameneff let drop a suggestion 
which did not fall on barren ground--he 
threw it out apparently casually1 but in
 order1 ,i believe1 to see how ,i       

reacted to it4 ,i had just been telling 
him that ,i had all my life had a love  
of ,russian literature1 ,russian music1 
,russian dancing1 ,russian art1 and he  
said1 8,you should come to ,russia40  ,i
 said that ,i had always dreamed it--and
 that perhaps--who knows--someday4444   
,he said1 8,you can come with me1 and ,i
 will get you sittings from ,lenin and  
,trotsky40  ,i thought he was joking1   
and hesitated a moment1 then ,i said3   
8,let me know when you are going to     
start1 and ,i will be ready in half an  
hour40  ,he offered to telegraph        
immediately to ,moscow for permission4  
,,august #ah,,th4  ,krassin arrived at  
#aj a4m41 and found me reading the      
papers1 sitting on the seat outside the 
door4 ,like ,kameneff1 he stayed till #a
 o'clock4 ,he has a beautiful head1 and 
he sat almost sphinx-like1 severe and   
expressionless most of the time4 ,we    
talked of course1 but his ,french is    
less good than ,kameneff's1 and we broke
 into occasional ,german--it was a good 

mix-up1 but we said all we wanted to    
say4  ,kameneff had talked to him about 
me1 and had told him of the project of  
my going to ,moscow4 ,i said nothing    
about it until he mentioned it4  ,what  
impresses me about these two men is     
their impassive imperturbability1 their 
calm1 and their patience4 ,i suppose it 
is the race1 or else that they learnt   
calm when they were prisoners in        
,siberia4 ,it is such a contrast to     
almost every other sitter1 who is       
restless1 hurried and fidgety4 ,krassin 
is sphinx-like2 he sits erect1 his head 
up1 and his pointed1 bearded chin       
sticking defiantly out at an angle1 and 
his mouth tightly shut4 ,he has no smile
 like ,kameneff1 and his piercing eyes  
just looked at me impassively while ,i  
worked4 ,it was rather uncanny4         
,krassin is a ,siberian4 ,he explained  
to me that his father was a ,government 
local official when he married his      
mother who was a peasant1 and one of    
twenty-two children4 ,he himself was the

 eldest of seven1 and was brought up in 
,siberia4  ,at #a o'clock ,i thanked him
 profusely for sitting so long and so   
well1 and he seemed quite surprised at  
my stopping1 and said3 8,you have done  
with me80  ,i explained that ,i had to  
catch a train1 so1 having swallowed a   
fish and some plums1 ,i rushed down the 
alley to my taxi1 pursued by ,rigamonti 
who abandoned his marble chisel and     
carried my suit-case and hurled in some 
last things to me4 ,i just caught the   
#a4ej at ,waterloo1 for ,godalming1 to  
stay two days with the ,midletons4#a    
,,august #ba,,st4  ,i got back to the   
studio about midday to find a huge bunch
 of roses and the following note from   
,kameneff3--                            
,london1 #ba ,aot4       ,chre ,madame1 
,je vous prie la permission de mettre   
ces roses rouges aux pieds de      votre
 belle statue de la ,victoire4          
,bien  vous1                            
,l4 ,k4  ,i did so1 and when he came at 
about #d o'clock to sit1 ,i thanked him1

 but said that they were not red and    
that it was a pity4 ,he looked as if he 
didn't quite understand1 and said3      
8,yes1 they are red--red for the blood  
of ,victory40 ,the sentiment was right1 
but he is colour blind1 the roses were  
pink6 ,i did not argue4  ,at about #e   
o'clock ,s---- ,l----1 walked in        
unexpectedly1 and was very surprised and
 interested to find ,kameneff1 who was  
no less interested at hearing from      
,s---- ,l---- that ,archbishop ,mannix  
is his guest1 and ,i got a good innings 
at my work while these two talked       
together4  ,kameneff and ,i dined later 
at the ,caf ,royal1 and then went on to 
a ,revue1 which was very bad1 but the   
audience laughed a good deal1 and       
,kameneff wondered at their childish    
appreciation of rubbish4   ,,august     
#bb,,nd4  ,twelve hours with            
,kameneff666  ,he arrived at #aa a4m4   
with a huge album of photographs of the 
,revolution1 very interesting4 ,after   
looking at it he sat to me for an hour4 

,we then lunched at ,claridges'4 ,after 
lunch we went for a taxi drive along the
 ,embankment1 and passing the ,tate     
,gallery1 went in4 ,it is being         
re-arranged1 but we found the           
,burne-,jones' that ,kameneff was       
looking for4 ,he stood for a long time  
before 8,the ,king and the              
,beggar-maid40 ,i suppose that in the   
new system all the beggar-maids are     
queens1 and that the real kings sit at  
their feet4  ,at #d o'clock we went to  
,trafalgar ,square to see what was going
 on4 ,the ,council of ,action were      
having a meeting4 ,kameneff assured me  
that he must not go near the platform1  
or be recognised by his friends1 as he  
was under promise to the ,government to 
take no part in demonstrations1 nor to  
do any propaganda work4 ,however1 ,i    
dragged him by the hand to the outskirts
 of the crowd1 and for no reason that ,i
 can explain1 the shout went up1        
8,gangway for speakers10 and a channel  
opened up before us1 and we were rushed 

along it4 ,happily for ,kameneff1 there 
was a hitch as we approached the        
platform4 ,the crowd thought that a     
policeman was favouring us unduly1 and  
getting us to the platform1 and a       
youngish man said3 8,stop that1         
policeman1 this is a democratic meeting0
 and tried to prevent us going any      
farther4 ,for awhile ,i felt the        
hostility of the people around me4  ,one
 of the speakers1 referring to the      
spirit of #aiad1 said that we had given 
our husbands and sons then1 but that we 
did not mean ever to give them again1   
and1 ,i1 thinking of ,dick1 joined in   
the shouts of 8,never1 never60 with some
 feeling1 and ,i felt the atmosphere    
kindlier around me after that4 ,when    
,lansbury tried to speak1 he was        
acclaimed with cheers1 and had to wait  
patiently while they sang 8,for he's a  
jolly good fellow10 and cheered him     
again4  ,he seemed to me to talk less of
 8,class0 and more of 8,cause40 ,just   
for a second he paused when saying1     

8,what we have to do1 is to stop----0 ,i
 filled in the gap with 8,mesopotamia40 
,whereupon the crowd shouted 8,here1    
here60 and 8,god bless you60 ,after that
 ,i was one of them4 ,then someone      
recognised ,kameneff1 and the whisper   
went round and spread like wildfire4    
,the men on either side of him asked if 
they might announce that he was there1  
to which he answered a most emphatic    
8,no40  ,when ,lansbury had finished    
speaking1 there was an appeal for money 
for the 8,cause40 ,it was interesting to
 watch the steady rain of coins1 and    
very touching were the pennies of the   
poor4 ,lansbury buried his face in his  
hat for protection4  ,after that we went
 away1 and a gangway was made for us1   
and all along the whisper went of       
8,kameneff10 and the faces that looked  
at us were radiant as though they beheld
 a saviour4  ,we took a taxi and drove  
to ,hampton ,court1 and went into the   
park1 to get away from the ,sunday      
crowd4 ,we sat on ,kameneff's coat on   

the grass in the middle of an open      
space1 and the air was heavy and the sun
 fitful1 as though a storm impended4    
,the distant elms were heavy green1 and 
there was a great stillness and calm4   
,we talked about the meeting1 and of the
 magnetism of a crowd4 ,he noticed my   
suppressed excitement1 for ,i had blood 
to the head6 ,if we had been rushed to  
the platform1 ,i could have             
,illustration3 ,,bust ,,of ,,krassin4   
p4 #bc4  spoken to the people1 ,i am    
sure that ,i could4 ,he said that he had
 been terribly moved to speak1 and that 
it had been a great effort to hold back4
  ,we talked and talked1 and then some  
rain drops forced us to get up and      
return to the ,mitre hotel for dinner4  
,after dinner1 the weather cleared1 and 
we had a lovely hour and a half in a    
boat on the river4 ,there was a         
three-quarter moon1 and the water       
reflected the pink lights from the      
,chinese lanterns of the houseboats4    
,from the garden of ,hampton ,court1    

rose up what seemed to be a giant       
cypress tree1 silhouetted against the   
dusk1 and the reflection of it doubled  
its height4 ,it was like something in   
,italy4 ,i rowed the boat1 which ,i     
loved doing1 and ,kameneff hummed ,volga
 boatman-songs4 ,or else we broke back  
into discussions1 and then he forgot    
that he was steering1 and we had several
 slight collisions1 and narrow escapes  
from more serious ones6  ,it was a very 
successful evening1 and we came back by 
the last train to ,waterloo1 still      
talking1 chiefly about that impending   
and all absorbing visit to ,moscow1 and 
we parted on my doorstep at a quarter to
 midnight4   ,,august #bd,,th4  ,i felt 
ill1 but got up early1 expecting        
,krassin at #aj o'clock1 but at #aj     
o'clock ,i got a telephone message to   
the effect that neither ,krassin nor    
,kameneff could see me to-day1 as the   
political crisis had caused a deluge of 
work4  ,lloyd ,george at ,lucerne had   
taken exception to the clause in the    

,russian ,peace ,terms demanding that   
the ,polish ,civic ,militia should be   
drawn from the working classes4 ,this   
they say is an infringement of the      
liberty of ,poland4 ,truth to tell1 it  
is the ,polish success over the ,red    
,army that has caused this diplomatic   
volte-face4 ,however1 that is too long  
to go into here4  ,at dinner time       
,kameneff telephoned to me that he at   
last had time to spare1 and could he    
come and see me4 ,i asked him to take   
pot-luck for dinner1 and he arrived1 a  
battered and worn fighting man1 full of 
indignation1 but still full of fight1   
and hope1 and belief4  ,he stayed till  
#aa1 and said that he felt better4 ,it  
was very still here1 and the peace did  
him good4 ,there may be a 8,state of    
,war0 in a few days1 and as things now  
stand1 they all depart on ,friday4      
,great excitement1 as ,i shall go with  
them4   ,,august #be,,th4  ,krassin gave
 me my second sitting at #e p4m41 and   
stayed till #g4cj4 ,i heard all the     

latest news4 ,he's a delightful man1    
never have ,i done a head that ,i       
admired more4 ,he seems to be strong    
morally1 to a degree of adamant4 ,he is 
calm1 sincere1 dignified1 proud1 without
 self-consciousness and without vanity1 
and scientific in his analysis of things
 and people4 ,eyes that are unflinching 
and bewilderingly direct1 nostrils that 
dilate with sensitiveness1 a mouth that 
looks hard until it smiles1 and a chin  
full of determination4   ,,august       
#bf,,th4  ,krassin offered me a third   
sitting1 and came again at #e4j and     
stayed till after #g4j4 ,war is averted1
 and he assures me that ,kameneff under 
no excuse can possibly leave for ,russia
 for a fortnight4 ,i did not sleep much1
 waking up with the exclamation         
8,partons6 ,partons60 for if we do not  
get away for a fortnight1 ,i shall have 
to keep my engagement on ,september     
#ajth at ,oxford with the ,birkenheads  
to do ,f4 ,e41 and then ,i shall not get
 to ,russia before my exhibition4  ,i   

worked hard1 and ,krassin's head is     
finished4 ,i think it good4 ,sydney#b   
came to see me after dinner1 and we     
talked fantastically about ,russia1 and 
what it might or might not lead to4  ,he
 is terribly interested4   ,,august     
#bg,,th4  ,kameneff came at #aa4j to    
give me a last sitting4 ,he was in a    
much happier frame of mind1 chuckling   
over ,tchicherin's reply to ,lloyd      
,george1 which is an impudent bit of    
propaganda work1 and all the papers have
 to publish it because it is official4  
,i awakened this morning with an excited
 and tired feeling1 my hands trembling1 
which ,i have never known before4       
,kameneff arrived in much the same      
condition4 ,he talked politics and got  
excited and worked up and produced the  
quizzical frown that ,i wanted4 ,i      
worked well1 and absolutely changed the 
whole personality of his bust1 which ,i 
think he liked4  ,he promised1          
incidentally1 not to wait here two      
weeks1 but says that he will start not  

later than next ,friday4 ,i wonder if he
 keeps his promises4  ,peter#c turned up
 with a girl1 which disturbed the       
sitting and ,i felt more and more       
hectic1 what with the difficulties and  
the battle of it1 and knowing that it   
was the last sitting1 and feeling dead  
beat1 and having finally to stop for    
lunch4  ,we lunched with ,sydney ,cooke 
at ,claridges'4 ,i introduced them to   
each other1 and we are going to stay    
with ,sydney at his house in the ,isle  
of ,wight1 for the week-end4 ,like all  
good foreigners1 ,kameneff expressed a  
desire1 some days ago1 to see the ,isle 
of ,wight4 ,so we arranged to go--,i    
,illustration3 ,,bust ,,of ,,kameneff4  
p4 #bd4  could not therefore go to my   
beloved ,dick1#d but ,i sent him a      
crocodile by ,peter1 to compensate for  
my absence4  ,dined with ,aunt          
,jennie1#e she has laryngitis1 and      
looked very ill4 ,she asked me what new 
work ,i was engaged on1 but ,i took good
 care not to mention either ,russians or

 ,russia4  ,in the course of            
conversation1 she told me that ,i was   
being criticised as having too much     
freedom4 ,i chuckled over this1 as ,i   
visualised to myself the great band of  
people who grudge one that freedom1     
because they have not got it1 and       
because they know that freedom counts   
above rubies4  ,i said to ,aunt ,jennie1
 8,and how is that grave condition of   
things1 that dangerous 8,liberty0 going 
to be rectified8 ,i am a widow1 and earn
 my living1 how is it to be otherwise   
ordered80  ,she had no suggestion1 it   
would have been obviously out of place  
to suggest re-marriage1 which in fact is
 the only way of ending it1 of ending   
everything1 liberty1 work1 and my       
happiness1 which is dependent on my     
work4   ,,august #bh,,th4  ,i left the  
studio in a state of chaos1 ,smith being
 in the midst of casting the busts of   
,kameneff and ,krassin4 ,i felt a       
wonderful sensation of relief at these  
being finished1 and the ,victory also4  

,everything for the moment is finished1 
until ,i begin something new4 ,and who  
will that be1 ,i wonder8  ,kameneff     
picked me up at #ab4ae and we caught the
 #ab4ej from ,waterloo to ,portsmouth4  
,sydney met us at the harbour and       
escorted us to his house on the ,isle of
 ,wight1 near ,newport4 ,a very         
attractive journey across1 as it was    
warm and calm weather4 ,a motor met us  
at ,ryde and took us to his house1 seven
 miles4 ,on arrival we flung ourselves  
down in the sun on the grass of the     
tennis-court4 ,and after tea1 as we lay 
full length on rugs1 our heads leaning  
on the grassy bank behind us1 and the   
sun gradually sinking lower and lower1  
,kameneff for over an hour told us the  
history of the ,russian ,revolution4    
,he told it to us haltingly1 stumbling  
along in his bad ,french1 wrestling with
 words and phrases1 but always conveying
 his meaning and above all conjuring up 
the most graphic pictures1 making us see
 with his eyes1 live over the days with 

him1 and know all the people concerned4 
,he is amazingly forceful and eloquent4 
,we sat silent and spellbound4 ,he began
 as far back as twenty years ago1 with  
the first efforts of himself and ,lenin1
 ,trotsky and ,krassin4 ,he described   
their secret organisations1 their       
discoveries1 their secrets1 his months  
and years of prison1 first in cells1    
then in ,siberia--but long before he had
 finished1 our dinner was announced1 and
 we went in just as we were1 to eat4    
,the spell for the moment was broken1   
and though ,kameneff did not again that 
evening resume the tale of the          
,revolution1 he did most of the         
evening's talking4  ,he described to us 
shortly1 but vividly1 the individuality 
and psychology of ,lenin4 ,there were   
others also whose names ,i cannot       
recall4 ,one ,i remember was            
,dzhirjinsky1 the ,president of the     
,extraordinary ,commission1 a man turned
 to stone through years of traveaux     
forcs1 an ascetic and a fanatic1 whom   

the ,soviet selected as organiser and   
head of 8,la ,terreur40  ,this is the   
man of whom ,maxim ,gorky wrote1 that   
one could see martyrdom crystallised in 
his eyes4 ,he performs his arduous task1
 suffering over it1 but with the        
conviction that he is helping towards an
 ultimate reign of peace and calm1      
towards which end every means is        
justified4 ,this man sleeps in a narrow 
bed behind a curtain in his 8bureau10   
has few friends1 and cares for no women1
 but he is kind to children1 and        
considerate towards his fellow-workers  
when they are overworked or ill4  ,it is
 useless to try to tell any of          
,kameneff's stories1 they require his   
individuality1 and would lose in        
repeating4 ,i only felt that it was a   
great waste that his audience should    
consist only of us two1 when so many    
might have been enthralled4   ,,august  
#bi,,th4  ,when ,i came down from       
breakfast ,i found the two men sitting  
over a fire4 ,i accused them of         

8frowsting10 and carried them out to the
 garden1 where ,kameneff restarted his  
unconcluded tale of the ,revolution1    
until we could bear the cold no more1 so
 he finished it indoors in front of the 
fire4 ,it is a marvellous narrative1    
pray ,god ,i may never forget it4  ,at  
#b4cj1 the afternoon having mended1 we  
started off in an open car for the south
 of the island4 ,on a hill overlooking  
the sea1 with a lonely beach1 we        
stopped1 and made a long arduous        
descent4 ,it was heavenly on the        
undulating beach of tiny rounded pebbles
 by the sea edge4 ,sydney and ,i paddled
 and ,kameneff1 who watched us1 became  
thoroughly laughing and happy4 ,when    
,sydney and ,i sat down on the beach and
 buried our feet in the pebbles1        
,kameneff began to write verses to me on
 the back of a five pound note4  ,i     
don't know what happened to the bank    
note1 but ,kameneff wrote four lines1   
and ,sydney the other four1 in ,french4 
,kameneff likened me to ,venus1 but     

,sydney was flippant1 and said that the 
part of me that he liked best was my    
feet6  ,the scenery and the climb       
recalled ,capri1 but a faded ,capri1    
without colour4 ,nevertheless1 one      
recalled the feeling of joy that one had
 at ,capri1 and ,kameneff was much      
impressed by the beauty and the peace of
 it1 and said how distant politics      
seemed1 and how non-existent ,mr4 ,lloyd
 ,george6  ,after awhile we regretfully 
went on1 stopping only for a tea-picnic 
on a common by a lonely road4           
,,september #b,,nd4 ,brede ,place4  ,i  
have been here since ,monday4 ,papa is  
away in ,ireland fishing1 ,mamma is here
 and believes that ,i am still going    
yachting and that a telegram will call  
me away at any minute4 ,as no wire has  
yet come and ,i cannot bear the         
suspense1 ,i have decided to go up to   
,london for the day1 and shall go       
straight to ,kameneff's office from the 
station so that ,i shall know soon      
whether we start for ,russia on         

,saturday or not4 ,if we do ,i shall not
 come back here4  ,i wonder what it will
 be4 ,to-night1 when ,i said good night 
to him1 ,dick clung to me more even than
 usual1 and we talked together for a    
long time4 ,he held me tight4 ,i was    
kneeling on the ground beside his bed   
with my arms round him4 ,he said that he
 could not bear to let me go to-morrow1 
and that he would tie me up to a wall4  
,he was so very sweet1 and ,i felt a    
great reluctance at leaving him4        
,,september #c,,rd4  ,i went up to      
,london and drove straight to the       
,bolshevik office in ,bond ,street1 and 
left my luggage waiting outside in the  
taxi4 ,unlike the previous occasion1 ,i 
was not shown straight in to ,kameneff4 
,i sat down and waited in the outer room
 which was full of men1 six or seven of 
them1 and they began discussing me in   
,italian1 ,french1 ,german and ,russian6
 ,i tried to look dignified and aloof1  
and was1 ,i am sure1 a great failure as 
a ,bolshevik4 ,all my ,english          

conventional breeding took hold of me4  
,then later ,peter came to fetch me1    
thinking that ,i had finished my        
interview1 and then1 having him to talk 
to1 ,i felt better4 ,later an eighth man
 appeared with a number of papers and   
the garrulous crowd became of a sudden  
serious1 placed themselves round a      
table1 and seemed to hold a sort of     
council4  ,at this moment ,klyschko     
passed by the open door1 and espying me 
called ,peter and me into his room to   
wait4 ,i asked him why there were so    
many people in the other room1 but he   
only shrugged his shoulders4  ,at last  
,i was told that both ,kameneff and     
,krassin wanted to see me1 and ,i was   
shown into ,krassin's office4 ,i learnt 
in a moment what ,i had feared1 that our
 journey is not for to-morrow4 ,moscow  
has answered his application too late4  
,there was just a faint chance left1 for
 a telegram from ,moscow was being      
deciphered at that moment1 but it was   
almost too slight to count upon4        

,krassin asked if he might bring his    
wife and daughters to the studio at #d  
o'clock1 and then ,kameneff took me up  
to his office4 ,he held out real hopes  
of starting next week4  ,as soon as     
,krassin and his very attractive family1
 but slightly alarming wife1 had left1  
,i went to see ,x---- whom ,i thought   
was in a position to get the visa ,i    
want for ,reval4 ,my passport is all in 
order to ,stockholm1 but ,klyschko has  
failed to get the ,esthonian visa1      
because it is necessary to get the      
,foreign ,office approval to do so4     
,after three-quarters of an hour's talk 
with ,x---- ,i realised that it was     
hopeless2 he merely shared the general  
prejudice4 ,it confirms me in my        
decision not to take any one else into  
my confidence1 except ,sydney and ,s----
 ,l----4 ,they are the only two who have
 got the spirit to understand4  ,but how
 ,i want that ,esthonian visa--it is    
worth an effort to get it1 instead of   
starting with an uncertainty4  ,x----   

explained to me at great length1 and    
kindly1 why he did not want me to go4   
,he said that he believed a complete    
change of ,government policy was        
impending1 which would make my position 
in ,russia untenable1 and moreover that 
,i should be in great danger of being   
shot as a spy4 ,he told me what he      
thought of ,lenin and ,trotsky 7it      
seemed very much what other people      
think71 he said that ,kameneff was no   
better than the rest1 and that a        
,russian was capable of turning even    
upon a friend4 ,finally he asked me why 
,i wanted to go8 ,i claimed an artist's 
zeal in wishing to do a bust of ,lenin  
and to bring his head back in my arms6  
,he then wanted to know why 8they0      
wanted to take me8 to which ,i could    
give no clear answer1 having wondered   
somewhat myself4 ,he then tried to draw 
me on the subject of ,bolshevism1 and   
asked me3 8,what do you gather is the   
final and ultimate object of the        
,bolsheviks80  ,it was a difficult      

question--,i thought for a moment1 and  
then ,i said3 8,they are very great     
idealists2 it may be an unpractical and 
unworkable idealism1 but that does not  
alter it40  ,he was surprised at this1  
and said in a low voice1 almost more to 
himself than to me3 8,are they as clever
 as that0--by which ,i suppose he meant1
 had they really been clever enough to  
take me in6  ,at the end of it all ,i   
said to him3 8,you have seen in the     
papers that ,h4 ,g4 ,wells is going to  
,russia80  ,he said that ,wells could   
look after himself4 ,i claimed to be    
equally fit to do so1 to which he       
replied3 8,so you still want to go80  ,i
 explained that ,i was prepared for     
anything4 ,he seemed surprised1 but     
practically assented to try and get my  
passport put in order for me1 and asked 
me to go and see him again next week4   
,i got back in time to dine with        
,kameneff at 8,canuto's40 ,after dinner1
 it being a lovely warm evening1 we took
 an open taxi1 and ,i suggested driving 

to ,hampstead ,heath4 ,arrived there1 we
 left the taxi on the main road1 whilst 
we went on foot off a side road on to a 
rough sandy track1 quite away from      
people and lights4  ,on a bank ,i spread
 my white fur coat1 and we sat there for
 an hour or more4 ,it was very          
beautiful4 ,the tall pine stems stood   
out against the glowing sky of distant1 
flaring ,london4 ,the place was full of 
depth and distance1 and night mystery4  
,i talked to ,kameneff about my         
conversation with a friend1 who was a   
serious1 intelligent man1 and told him  
of his opinion that ,i should be in     
danger of my life4 ,i added that ,i was 
prepared to take the risk1 but that ,i  
should regret my children being orphans4
 ,kameneff answered me half amused1 half
 irritated4  ,he said it was such       
nonsense that he felt a great desire to 
start immediately1 so as to show me the 
truth1 and so that ,i might come back   
and prove to all and sundry how ignorant
 they are of real conditions4  ,he      

considered that no matter what line the 
,government adopted here 7and he was    
prepared for ,lloyd ,george to do       
anything at any moment71 it would not   
affect me4 ,i should be regarded purely 
as an artist1 international and         
non-political4  ,then laughing1 he said 
that he would have me put against a     
wall1 arms crossed on breast 7not       
blindfolded1 that was a convention of   
the aristocrats71 with a firing party   
before me1 and then he would save me at 
the last moment4 ,then ,i should have   
lived through every thrill1 and my      
friends would not be disappointed4  ,he 
told me1 incidentally1 that ,wrangel is 
defeated and discredited4 7,x----1      
having just told me that ,wrangel had   
won the peasants over to him1 and that  
he had a scheme of moderate ,government1
 and was likely to rouse a              
counter-,revolution and depose the      
present lot74  ,so ,i said to ,kameneff3
 8,where is truth80  ,and he answered3  
8,there is no truth in the world1 the   

only truth is in one's own heart40      
,,september #i,,th4  ,my birthday1 and  
the most hectic day of my life6  ,in the
 morning ,i worked more or less calmly4 
,the 8,victory0 was just being finished1
 ,smith was chipping away the last      
remains of mould4 ,rigamonti1 under my  
direction was punching the block of     
,princess ,pat41 so that marble chips   
flew like shrapnel in all directions4   
,meanwhile1 ,hart came to get my last   
orders about marble pedestals for       
unfinished bronzes1 and on top of all   
,fiorini turned up4  ,he was terribly   
hurt because ,i have given the heads of 
,kameneff and ,krassin to ,parlanti to  
cast4 ,he had dreamed of doing them--he 
had a ,bolshevik workman in his foundry1
 who asked every day when those heads   
were coming4 ,he would have cast them1  
he said1 for nothing1 just for the      
honour and glory of doing them4 ,i felt 
terribly badly about it4 ,the little    
,italian man is such an enthusiast1 and 
he met ,kameneff here1 who shook hands  

with him1 and ,fiorini felt about it as 
most other people would about their     
,king4  ,moreover1 on that occasion1 he 
hid behind a pedestal1 and remained so  
quiet for a quarter of an hour1 watching
 me and my sitter1 that ,i forgot that  
he was there4 ,but because ,i understood
 from him that he had as much work as he
 could get through for me in time for my
 exhibition1 ,i had given the heads to  
,parlanti1 who promised them in time4   
,i hope that ,i comforted him by        
promising to give him duplicates to     
cast1 as presents for ,kameneff and     
,krassin1 the which ,i had had no       
intention of doing1 and can ill afford1 
but to cheer up ,fiorini1 ,i will do it4
  ,then the telephone went and ,klyschko
 announced to me that it was all        
decided--,kameneff is starting on       
,saturday morning1 has reserved places1 
and ,i have nothing to do but get my    
ticket4 ,i said that ,i was having      
difficulties over my passport1 and he   
explained to me that all ,i need is the 

visa via ,christiania to ,stockholm1 and
 that at ,stockholm the ,esthonian      
,legation would see me through4  ,i     
dined with ,sophie ,wavertree and ,f4   
,m4 ,b4 ,fisher4 ,he walked home with   
me2 he it was who originally brought me 
into this wonderful new world4          
,,september #aj,,th4  ,kameneff         
telephoned at breakfast4 ,he is really  
starting to-morrow4  ,at #aj4ae1 a wire 
from ,sydney to say that he is arriving 
from ,scotland1 at #e o'clock4  #aa4cj1 
to ,barclays ,bank1 cashed #ajj4        
#aa4dj1 to ,cooks'1 bought my ticket4   
#ab o'clock1 to ,bond ,street ,office1  
saw ,kameneff4 ,he says it doesn't      
matter about a passport1 that he can    
push me through from ,stockholm4  #a    
o'clock1 bought a hat in ,south ,moulton
 ,street4  #b o'clock1 back at studio4  
,wrote letters all afternoon4  #d4cj1   
hair washed and cut4  #g o'clock1 back  
to studio1 packed and dined4  #aj4cj1   
,sydney came1 and while we were talking 
,kameneff rang up to say he had a few   

short hours ago had his interview with  
,lloyd ,george1 and that he gathered    
from the interview that he1 ,kameneff1  
leaves to-morrow1 not to return--this   
was to warn me--but he told me to come  
all the same4  ,i rang up ,s---- ,l----1
 who could hardly believe that ,i am    
really starting4 ,he came round to see  
me1 and we talked far into the night4   
,,september #aa,,th4  ,mr4 ,krassin1 and
 most of the #abh ,new ,bond ,street    
staff1 were at ,st4 ,pancras to see us  
start4 ,krassin presented me with a big 
box of chocolates tied up with red      
ribbons4 ,we were rather a conspicuous  
group on the platform1 and ,i feared    
every second to meet someone whom ,i    
knew travelling1 possibly to ,york1 on  
the same train4  ,s---- ,l---- was there
 to wish me ,god-speed1 and ,sydney1 who
 is staying with friends near           
,newcastle1 and came down yesterday to  
spend my last evening with me1 travelled
 back to ,newcastle with us4 ,rigamonti 
turned up unexpectedly1 which touched me

 very much4  ,sydney1 fulfilling his    
reputation as an organiser1 discovered  
that there were two trains going to     
,newcastle1 and that the next one which 
left a little later had a restaurant    
car1 so we transferred our luggage from 
the one to the other1 and in the process
 ,i lost my handbag1 which had a hundred
 pounds in it in bank notes1 all ,i     
possess in the world4 ,it caused me some
 agitation1 but ,kameneff was quite calm
 and seemed to think that money was not 
very important1 and that ,i should not  
have much need of it in ,russia4  ,to my
 intense relief1 however1 ,sydney found 
the case at ,newcastle1 in the lost     
property office1 it travelled ahead of  
us on the other train4  ,sydney came to 
the ship with us1 ,i don't think he     
believed in the reality of my journey   
until he saw me safely past the passport
 officials4  ,i certainly felt no sense 
of security until the steamer left the  
quay-side4 ,there was something         
indescribably exciting and clandestine  

about slipping away without anyone      
knowing4  ,for some time ,kameneff and  
,i stood on deck to see the last of     
,england1 with her ,turner sky4 ,the    
sunset was golden haze1 and ,kameneff   
said3 8,it looks mysterious1 that land1 
doesn't it80 ,but to me it was just the 
old world wrapped in a shroud4 ,mystery 
lay ahead of us in the new world that is
 our destination4  ,now for the first   
time ,i had leisure and calm in which to
 think over what ,i am doing4 ,there    
persist in my mind faint echoes of      
warnings1 but ,i must have no           
misgivings1 it seems to me unlikely that
 ,kameneff would invite me to go to his 
country if ,i were likely to be either  
unhappy or in danger there4 ,he must    
know what he is doing1 and what he is   
taking me to4 ,there are moments in life
 when it is necessary to have blind     
faith4   ,,september #ab,,th4 ,s4,s4    
8,jupiter10 ,bergen1 ,norway4  ,it is   
#i4de pm4 ,we have just this moment come
 along the quay-side at ,bergen4 ,we are

 not to land until to-morrow morning4   
,the crossing has been wonderful2 as    
calm as a lake the whole way4  ,i have a
 cabin for three all to myself1 there   
are very few people on board4 ,it is as 
comfortable as a yacht4 ,the only fellow
 traveller with whom we have spoken is  
an ,american1 calling himself ,comrade  
,costello4 ,he reports for the          
,federated ,press4 ,a very keen         
journalist1 typically ,american1 and one
 who does not allow the grass to grew   
under his feet4  ,for an hour this      
afternoon ,i acted as interpreter       
between him and ,kameneff4 ,i had to ask
 about strange people and strange       
things1 that ,i knew nothing about4 ,i  
had not even heard of ,debs before4  ,i 
expect that ,i shall have a pretty good 
knowledge of all the ,revolutionary     
,leaders in all countries before long4  
,kameneff had a cigarette in my cabin   
this evening1 and we discussed          
,philosophy1 ,religion1 and ,revolution4
 ,it surprised me very much that he does

 not believe in ,god4 ,he says that the 
idea of ,god is a domination and that he
 resents it1 as he resents all other    
dominations4 ,he talked nevertheless    
with great admiration of the teachings  
of ,christ1 ,who demanded poverty and   
equality among men1 and ,who said that  
the rich man had no more chance of the  
,kingdom of ,heaven than a camel of     
passing through a needle's eye4         
,,september #ac,,th4 ,grand ,hotel1     
,kristiania1 ,norway4  ,to-day might    
have been many days1 and we might have  
been crossing the world4  ,the train    
left ,bergen at #h4ae a4m4 ,we had a    
compartment to ourselves with big       
windows4  ,slowly from ,voss the train  
climbed higher and higher4 ,the higher  
we went the less vegetation there was4  
,big trees became smaller trees1 and    
then dwarf trees1 and then shrubs1 until
 finally there was only the little low  
creeping juniper4  ,there were rocks and
 boulders1 falling torrents and cold1   
still lakes1 and in the shadow of the   

mountain great patches of eternal snow  
that never melt4  ,this morning in the  
breakfast car we eagerly asked for news1
 being unable to read ,norwegian4 ,the  
man who was reading the paper informed  
us1 in broken ,english1 that the coal   
situation was exactly the same1 and the 
,lord ,mayor of ,cork not dead yet1 and 
with that summary we had to rest        
content4  ,later in the morning1 the    
dining-car attendant sought us out1 and 
armed with a newspaper said3 8,have you 
heard the news80 he then made a bow and 
asked3 8,mr4 ,kameneff--yes80 and showed
 him a photograph of ,k4 in the         
morning's paper1 and the information    
that he had left ,england1 and was on   
his way to ,russia4 ,that settled it1   
,kameneff was recognised1 and the car   
attendant spread the information4 ,after
 that1 whenever we walked the platform  
of a station we were the cynosure of all
 eyes4  ,at luncheon ,kameneff asked the
 car attendant1 who spoke ,russian so   
well1 where he had learnt it4 ,the      

answer was that fifteen years ago he had
 spent two years as a waiter in         
,petrograd4 ,kameneff told him that     
,russia had changed considerably since  
then1 and that he ought to go and see   
it4 ,the attendant with a deferential   
smile said that he would be afraid to4  
,at ,finse1 the highest point1 where we 
were on a level with the mountain       
summits1 and where snow lay round us and
 below us1 the train stopped for ten    
minutes4 ,we got out and walked about1  
and ,i took my kodak4 ,beyond the       
platform on the sloping bank a granite  
monolith stood up grimly against the    
snow-patched distance and1 to my        
surprise1 engraved upon it were the     
names of ,captain ,scott and all his    
party1 with the date1 and the           
announcement that they had started from 
,norway for the ,south ,pole4 ,it was   
rather motionant finding it so          
unexpectedly1 and so remote4  ,at #aj   
p4m41 we steamed into ,kristiania1 where
 we were met by ,litvinoff4 ,i had      

visualized a small1 sharp-faced1 alert  
man4 ,instead ,i found a big1 square1   
amiable1 smiling man4 ,he informed us   
that there was not a room to be had at  
the ,grand ,hotel1 and turning to me1   
added in ,english3 8,if you want rooms  
in the ,grand ,hotel you will have to   
secure them through the ,british        
,legation40 ,we all laughed1 and ,i     
said3 8,we are not making much use of   
the ,british ,legation on this trip40   
,as we entered the ,grand ,hotel and    
stepped into the lift1 ,i caught the    
sound of string-band music1 which       
characterises the ,grand ,hotels and    
,ritz-,carltons of ,europe1 and suggests
 all that side of life with which we on 
this trip are not quite in harmony4     
,litvinoff accommodated me in the room  
of one of his secretaries4 ,i felt      
rather strange1 lonely1 and lost1       
especially when questioned by one of    
them as to my work and plans4  ,had ,i  
been working in the ,soviet office in   
,london8 ,i felt rather at a            

disadvantage1 having to explain that ,i 
was merely an artist who had done       
portraits of ,kameneff and ,krassin     
7who1 by the way1 they spoke of as      
,comrade71 and that ,i hoped to get     
through to ,russia with ,kameneff to do 
some portraits there4  ,i felt1 as they 
looked at me1 that ,i did not look much 
like a sculptor4 ,they proceeded to tell
 me that no ,british passports were     
being issued1 and that any amount of    
people were being held up here4 ,very   
cheerful6 ,by this time ,i had drunk    
three cups of excellent tea out of a    
tumbler1 and it was nearly midnight1 so 
,i suggested bed1 apologising at the    
same time for making use of their room  
and necessitating their discomfort4  ,it
 being now #a o'clock1 ,i propose to    
sleep1 though ,i am only wrapped in my  
rug1 for the bed is not made up for me1 
and ,i do not like sleeping in other    
people's sheets6 ,the noise in the      
street is perfectly infernal and        
,kameneff and ,litvinoff are still      

talking in the next room on my other    
side4   ,,september #ad,,th4            
,kristiania4  ,slept very well1 wrapped 
in my rug4 ,woke up at #i o'clock1 and  
had breakfast in bed4 ,had looked       
forward to a bath1 but the sour-faced   
hotel maid says there are too many      
gentlemen who want it1 and so ,i cannot 
have one4 ,this does not seem an        
adequate reason for denying it to me1   
and ,i rather suspect it is part of a   
general boycott of ,bolsheviks4  ,while 
,i was breakfasting1 ,kameneff looked in
 with the morning papers1 which have    
come out with headlines and photographs 
of him4 ,one describes him as having    
arrived 8with a lady1 tall and elegant1 
who carried in one hand a 8,kodakaparat0
 and in the other a box of sweets--she  
does not look ,russian1 and was heard to
 speak in ,french40  ,at luncheon ,i met
 ,mrs4 ,litvinoff1 and was surprised to 
find that she is ,english1 a friend of  
the ,meynells and of ,h4 ,g4 ,wells4    
,she has short black hair1 and is       

unconventional4 ,she did not seem to be 
very political or revolutionary4 ,the   
third baby is imminent4  ,after         
luncheon1 we made an expedition outside 
,kristiania to the wireless station1    
which is on the top of a wooded hill    
from which there is a magnificent ,view4
 ,misha1 the eldest child1 a boy of     
four1 accompanied us4 ,he is unruly1    
wild-eyed1 and most attractive1 the     
embodiment of ,donatello's 8laughing    
boy40 ,he says3 8,what for is my father 
a ,bolshevik80 and tells his mother to  
ring the bell for the maid1 and not to  
do any work herself4  ,litvinoff adores 
him and throws him about and makes him  
stand on his head4 ,coming home         
,litvinoff and ,i1 hatless1 ran races   
down the hill4 ,to my great humiliation 
he outran me4 ,he is a heavy man and ,i 
run well1 but he was not even out of    
breath4  ,on the way back in the open   
car1 they all sang ,russian folk songs  
in a chorus4 ,bolsheviks are a very     
cheerful species4  ,we reached the hotel

 just in time to pick up our luggage and
 catch the train for ,stockholm4  ,there
 were real cordial good-byes all round4 
,litvinoff said that if ,i did not get  
through from ,stockholm1 ,i must come   
back to ,kristiania and he would send   
someone with me to take me through      
,murmansk1 but ,mrs4 ,litvinoff said    
that ,i should get through from         
,stockholm4 8,that sort of person always
 gets what she wants0 she said1 but gave
 no further comment1 and ,i am wondering
 what sort of person ,i am4  ,the two   
secretaries gave me messages for friends
 in ,moscow1 and seemed very envious of 
anyone going back4 ,one of them 7with   
most beautiful chestnut hair71 held     
forth to me on the great difference the 
,revolution had brought in the position 
of women4 ,she is an ardent ,communist1 
and works #aj hours a day with a willing
 heart and little pay4 ,she added as a  
last appeal3 8,go and see for yourself1 
and then say nice things about us when  
you get back to ,england40   ,,september

 #ae,,th4 ,stockholm1 ,sweden4  ,we     
arrived at #h4cj a4m41 and were met at  
the station by ,frederick ,strm1 head of
 the left wing ,socialist party of      
,sweden4 ,it was an interesting contrast
 to my arrival in former years when the 
,crown ,prince himself used to meet me  
and take me in a royal car to the       
,palace4 ,i felt a great sadness as ,i  
passed that old ,palace1 and the windows
 of ,princess ,margaret's rooms which ,i
 knew so well4 ,the days when ,i used to
 stay there seemed very long ago and of 
another world4  ,we drove to the ,grand 
,hotel which1 however1 proved to be     
full1 but we were not at a loss3 we     
drove off to a perfectly charming       
apartment belonging to the ,krassins1   
but which in their absence is inhabited 
by a ,comrade ,juon4  ,there we were    
most courteously received1 and given a  
splendid breakfast4  ,juon is about six 
feet and a half high1 and broad in      
proportion1 with a black beard and a    
kindly expression4 ,his eyes have       

exceptionally big pupils1 which give a  
curious gleam and keenness to his       
expression4 ,his brother in ,russia is a
 well-known painter4  ,conversation     
between the two was mostly in ,russian4 
,i am beginning to cultivate a detached 
feeling1 and ,i do not expect to        
understand much during the next few     
weeks1 except through my eyes4  ,while  
we were breakfasting the ,grand ,hotel  
telephoned to place a suite of rooms at 
our disposal1 so we returned there1 and 
the hotel authorities were most civil4  
,from that moment there ensued a hectic 
period4 ,series of newspaper reporters  
arrived1 and had to be given interviews4
 ,comrades came1 and stayed--there      
seemed to be people revolving           
perpetually4 ,some of them only         
understood ,german1 others struggled in 
bad ,english1 yet others in ,french2 the
 whole conversation was mixed up with   
,swedish and ,russian1 so that one's    
head reeled4  ,among all these people1  
one figure stands out more clearly than 

the rest4 ,this is ,rjasanoff1 a man    
about seventy1 with a ,greek profile1 a 
beard that sticks out defiantly and     
hawk's eyes4 ,he has a dominating       
personality4 ,he has done five years of 
solitary confinement in a cell for the  
cause4 ,he was charming to me1 and his  
expression lost some of its battle and  
became even kindly when he looked at me4
  ,another man who stands out in my mind
 is a ,communist poet called ,torr      
,norman1 who has translated ,rupert     
,brooke4  ,mr4 ,strm accompanied me to  
the ,esthonian ,consulate to get my     
,reval visa4 ,there were1 as ,i         
expected1 endless difficulties1 and     
nothing was  ,illustration3 ,,litvinoff 
,,and ,,his ,,son ,,misha ,,at          
,,kristiania4  p4 #de4  settled1 and    
to-morrow the boat leaves at #d o'clock 
so that there is not much time4 ,i feel 
pretty confident that all will end well4
 ,it is not possible that there can be  
any other ending4  ,we were a big party 
lunching in the restaurant and attracted

 a good deal of attention4 ,after lunch 
we all went to ,skansen and had tea     
there4  ,in the evening1 ,kameneff had  
to go out and keep an appointment1 and  
while he was away ,i wrestled on the    
telephone with reporters1 trying to ward
 off interviews until the morrow4 ,at   
#aj p4m41 ,kameneff came back and we    
dined in the sitting-room2 he was pretty
 dead beat4 ,even then a reporter came  
to the door and asked for an interview1 
but ,i insisted that he must be put off 
until the next day1 and ,kameneff1      
rather willingly ,i think1 gave in4     
,,september #af,,th4  ,this morning ,i  
telephoned to the ,palace and asked for 
the ,crown ,prince4 ,kameneff asked me  
if ,i were right to risk it4 ,he said   
that ,i might be very ill received in   
view of the company ,i was in1 but ,i   
explained that he was one of the most   
democratic ,princes in ,europe4  ,prince
 ,gustav's surprise was indeed pretty   
great4 ,he was enormously interested and
 amused1 and asked me to lunch1 and to  

come at midday so as to get a good talk 
first4  ,kameneff listened to our       
conversation with some amusement4 ,he   
told me afterwards that he liked 8the   
tone40 ,i wonder whether he had expected
 me to be different4  ,i asked the      
,prince as a favour that ,princess      
,margaret's maid1 ,amy1 might come out  
shopping with me4 ,she came and fetched 
me1 and was a tremendous help1 as she   
knew where to take me1 and did all the  
talking in ,swedish4  ,i left her to    
collect my parcels1 as it was nearly    
midday1 got a taxi1 and told him to     
drive to 8,the ,palace40 ,he looked     
vague1 and did not understand4 ,i said3 
8,palace6 ,kronprinzen40 ,he nodded     
assent and drove off in a direction that
 ,i knew was not towards the ,palace4   
,we fetched up in a street in front of  
the ,kronprinzen ,hotel4 ,it was        
hopeless to argue--,i plunged into the  
hotel and asked for someone who spoke   
,english and explained my dilemma1 to   
the intense amusement of the hotel      

officials1 and of the taxi driver when  
it was explained to him4  ,the ,prince  
looked very lonely in those big rooms1  
and they were extraordinarily vibrant   
and reminiscent of her4 ,he made me sit 
down and tell him all about my plans and
 my adventure1 and fell thoroughly into 
the spirit of the thing4 ,he said that  
,i was quite right1 if my exhibition at 
,agnew's for ,october was all organised1
 not to sacrifice the chance of this    
experience on that account4 ,he thought 
the expedition a dangerous one1 but     
sensibly admitted that that was my      
concern and no one else's4  ,he asked   
me1 of course1 a number of questions as 
to what sort of men ,kameneff and       
,litvinoff were4 ,i could not help being
 perfectly frank1 and telling him my    
sincere impressions4  ,while ,i was     
there ,kameneff telephoned to say that  
the ,consulate of ,esthonia had given me
 my visa4  ,at luncheon1 the            
lady-in-waiting and the ,a4,d4,c4's     
seemed rather bewildered4 ,it certainly 

must have appeared fantastic to them1   
accustomed to the dull routine of ,court
 life1 to be entertaining someone who   
was on the way to ,russia with ,kameneff
 to model the heads of ,lenin and       
,trotsky4  ,the ,prince was overwhelming
 in his desire to help my material      
comforts4 ,he telephoned for biscuits1  
and two large tins arrived1 also        
cigarettes4 ,he wrote out his           
prospective trip1 with dates1 to ,athens
 and ,italy1 in hopes that possibly we  
may meet if ,i come back that way4      
,finally he escorted me to the taxi that
 awaited me in the court-yard1 and      
wished me luck and ,god-speed4  ,i      
returned to the ,grand ,hotel1 and found
 an alarming crowd of ,comrades lunching
 with ,kameneff in his sitting-room1 but
 we had to leave almost immediately to  
catch our boat for ,reval4   ,,september
 #ag,,th4 ,hango1 ,finland4  ,it is     
evening1 we have just put in at ,hango1 
a ,finnish port4 ,no one is allowed off 
the ship1 by order of the ,port         

authorities4 ,finland is not yet at     
peace with ,russia1 and ,kameneff would 
probably be arrested if he set foot on  
shore4 ,the last time that he walked    
into ,finnish territory in #aiag1 not   
knowing that the ,whites were in        
possession of the town1 he was put in   
prison for three months1 and by a       
miracle was not shot4 ,so far we have   
had a pretty good journey2 the little   
boat has hugged the coast of the ,aland 
islands4 ,we have had to put into ,hango
 for the night1 because we can only     
steam by day on account of the floating 
mines between here and ,reval that have 
not yet been cleared4  ,i have spent    
half the day in my cabin sleeping1 the  
other half on deck talking4 ,i have lost
 all track of days and dates2 we seem to
 have been journeying for ever4  ,there 
are no pleasure trippers or any of the  
idle curious on board4 ,everyone        
practically is bound for ,russia1 and we
 look at one another curiously1         
wondering what each other's mission is4 

,there are ,comrades returning1 and     
there are journalists1 traders and      
bankers2 people who hope to get through 
from ,reval1 people who probably will1  
and others who certainly will not4      
,kameneff is watched by everyone1 and we
 have made innumerable acquaintances4   
,already there is around us a little    
group of friends1 whom one has the      
feeling of having known a long time4    
,to-morrow we go on to ,reval4 ,it seems
 to me too wonderful and unbelievable   
that ,i am really on this boat of fears 
and dreams3 fears of not getting on     
board1 and dreams of the world into     
which it would sail with me4            
,,september #ah,,th4 ,reval1 ,esthonia4 
,at dawn we left ,hango1 but there was  
such a wind blowing that the ship       
anchored just at the entrance of the    
harbour1 and for a few hours we swung   
round4 ,no one complained of delay and  
no one seemed to be in a hurry4 ,there  
was no attempt to keep a scheduled time3
 a calm atmosphere of fatalism1 which is

 probably ,russian1 seemed to hang over 
us4  ,the sun was shining brilliantly   
when we finally set out to sea1 and ,i  
was having a most interesting           
conversation with ,mr4 ,aschberg1 a     
,swedish banker1 who did me the         
compliment of talking to me on political
 economy1 of which ,i understood        
nothing4 ,he told me interesting things 
about ,bolshevik business transactions  
with ,germany1 in which it seemed that  
the ,bolsheviks were alienating the     
,german workers by negotiating with the 
,german capitalists4  ,in my own mind ,i
 did not see how they could do          
otherwise1 but my ignorance on these    
things is so great1 that ,i try to learn
 all ,i can without giving myself away  
by asking too many questions4 ,it is a  
slow process1 but ,i have hopes4 ,the   
mere fact of being under the wing of a  
man like ,kameneff1 and bound for       
,russia1 seems to make people talk to me
 as if ,i were a man4 ,it is a great    
comfort no longer to meet people on a   

social or superficial ground4 ,there    
were people even who talked to me on    
most obscure subjects1 and asked for my 
intercession for them with ,kameneff6   
,at sunset we steamed into ,reval1 where
 the pointed towers and the sound of old
 bells as in ,italy awakened one to a   
new atmosphere that was no longer       
,scandinavian4 ,a motor met us at the   
quay1 the only motor there1 and a man   
who had crossed with us1 and whom ,i    
suspected of being a ,british agent1    
said to me ironically as he drove away  
in a droshki3 8,how very smart and      
distinguished of you to have a          
motor----0  ,kameneff's boy of twelve   
met us1 and there were two small        
children as well1 belonging to          
,gukovski1 the ,soviet representative at
 ,reval4 ,they took up most of the room 
that was needed for luggage4 ,alexandre 
,kameneff had to stand on the step      
outside1 and a soldier of the ,red ,army
 on the other4 ,thus our curious        
car-load made its way1 hooting loudly   

through medival tortuous streets4  ,what
 followed is rather nebulous in my mind4
 ,i was very tired and the town very    
dark2 there were stars overhead1 but no 
street lamps4 ,we drove to some bleak   
building called the ,hotel ,petersbourg1
 which seemed to be the ,bolshevik      
,g4,h4,q4 ,it was dirty and grim1 and   
full of strange-looking people who      
talked no language that ,i understood4  
,they looked at me strangely2 a great   
many hands shook mine4 ,kameneff was too
 busy to explain to me what our plans   
were1 or what was going to happen next1 
or maybe he forgot that ,i could not    
understand4 ,he was too surrounded for  
me to be able to ask him any questions1 
so ,i just looked vague1 waited about   
and followed1 relying on my eyes to     
convey the explanations that my ears    
were denied4 ,kameneff was the centre of
 perpetual discussions in which everyone
 spoke at the same moment1 very quickly 
and very loud4 ,at first ,i suspected a 
most agitating ,state ,council1 but it  

turned out to be merely a discussion as 
to where we should have supper4 ,finally
 it was decided that we should go to the
 apartment in an hotel where the wife of
 a ,comrade would look after us4 ,off we
 went on foot over cobblestones4 ,the   
streets were full of people who moved   
like shadows1 and one could only see    
faces when they passed the glare of a   
lighted doorway4 ,we followed along in  
couples4 ,at my side was ,alexandre     
,kameneff1 a nice boy and friendly1 but 
he could only talk ,russian4  ,we got to
 the hotel 7such an hotel1 more like a  
wayside inn74 ,we were taken to the     
,comrade's apartment1 where his wife    
received us with great cordiality and   
talked to me in good ,french4  ,there   
was a samovar1 and we had excellent tea 
with lemon in it1 and some cold smoked  
salmon on thick slices of buttered      
bread4 ,kameneff and the two ,comrades  
were too absorbed in their discussion to
 eat anything4 ,one ,comrade was telling
 something1 ,kameneff took notes1 and   

our host1 a small nervous man1 rolled   
bread pellets4  ,madame1 in an even     
voice1 plied me with questions3  8,when 
did you leave ,london80  8,how long did 
you take from ,stockholm to ,reval8 ,oh1
 dear1 a day and a half late6 ,we have  
no news here1 tell me some40  8,is      
,comrade ,kameneff really chass from    
,england80  8,is it true that ,krassin  
will soon follow80  8,what pretty hair  
you have1 mademoiselle4 ,is it naturally
 that colour8 ,does it curl naturally   
so80  8,is there a famine in ,england8  
,i hear there is no longer sugar or     
butter8 ,but there will be a famine when
 your strike begins80  8,what1 you have 
not a macintosh with you80  8,nor an    
umbrella80  8,nor thicker shoes than    
that80  8,but do you not know there is  
nothing to be had in ,russia80  8,you   
have goloshes8 ,that is good40  8,and   
soap8 ,yes1 they will do your washing if
 you give them soap to do it with----0  
,kameneff left us to attend a meeting   
elsewhere4 ,it was now pretty late1 and 

,i was tired2 the room was small1 and   
full of smoke and food4 ,when ,i had    
finished my tea1 ,alexandre ,kameneff   
and the soldier who had not left us     
since our arrival1 took me back to the  
headquarters4 ,i did not know what was  
to become of me1 and no one understood  
me4 ,the dimly-lit corridors were       
crowded with strange loungers4 ,i was   
shown into a grim room where portraits  
of ,lenin and ,trotsky adorned the      
walls1 and there ,i sat silently among  
people ,i could not talk with4 ,after   
awhile1 to my intense relief1 ,kameneff 
appeared4 ,in this strange milieu in    
which ,i was so utterly lost1 ,kameneff 
seemed to me the oldest and the only    
friend ,i had in the world1 and ,i      
metaphorically clung to him as a        
drowning man to a straw4 ,somebody in   
the crowd1 taking pity on my            
helplessness1 or else wondering what ,i 
was asking for in three unknown         
languages1 had sent him to me4 ,he asked
 what on earth ,i was doing there4 ,as  

if ,i knew6 ,i followed him to another  
room1 bigger and fuller of people1 who  
all looked very serious and sat in a    
circle4 ,the meeting went on1 and ,i sat
 obscurely in a corner wondering        
whether1 if ,i understood ,russian1 ,i  
should be allowed to be there4 ,at last1
 bored by watching them and learning    
nothing from it1 ,i got out a pencil and
 paper from the hand-case ,i had with me
 and wrote a letter to ,dick4 ,it was   
the last place from which ,i could post 
a letter and the last time ,i could     
write letters uncensored4 ,i wrote to   
,dick from my heart1 thinking of him at 
that moment in bed1 so very far away1   
looking so round and pink1 and with one 
arm outside the bedclothes4 ,in spirit  
,i was kneeling by his bedside and      
kissing the little bare arm4 ,dick and  
,margaret both know that when ,i am away
 from them ,i come in spirit in the     
night1 and they often find a rose petal 
or a bud1 or maybe a tiny feather1      
something very light1 that ,i leave on  

the pillow to prove that ,i have been4  
,never had ,i been more with them in    
spirit than this night1 when ,i felt so 
lonely and bewildered4 ,later on ,i     
wrote an apology to ,f4 ,e41 explaining 
why ,i had not turned up at ,charlton to
 do his bust4 ,it was one of the things 
that ,i felt rather badly about1 for ,i 
had left ,england the very day that ,i  
was due at the ,birkenheads'4 ,i could  
not at that time explain1 and they must 
have thought me so very rude4 ,it is    
funny that none of these people1 not    
even ,kameneff have heard of ,f4 ,e41   
either as ,smith1 ,lord ,birkenhead1 or 
,lord ,chancellor4 ,chancellor of the   
,exchequer they understand1 but no other
 ,chancellor4  ,when at last the meeting
 was over1 ,i was introduced to         
,gukovski1 and gathered that we were in 
his room4 ,he is a little bent man1 who 
broke his back some time past in a motor
 accident4 ,he has red hair and beard1  
and small narrow eyes that look at one  
with close scrutiny1 and give one a     

shivery feeling4 ,he asked me what my   
mission was1 and when ,i had told him he
 said3 8,do you think that you are going
 to get ,lenin to sit to you80 ,i did   
think so1 and his eyes twinkled with    
merriment4 8,well you won't60 he said   
and chuckled4  ,kameneff went off to    
converse on the telephone with          
,tchicherin at ,moscow1 and did not come
 back4 ,i waited and waited1 and        
,gukovski began packing a trunk2 he was 
evidently coming with us4 ,i watched    
him1 a man's packing is always a rather 
interesting and pathetic sight1 but even
 that ceased to interest me after       
awhile1 and ,i became conscious of a    
feeling bordering on tears and sleep4   
,where on earth was ,kameneff1 and why  
didn't he come back1 or else explain to 
me how long this waiting was to go on4  
,after awhile ,i discovered that        
,gukovski's secretary1 a young man      
called ,gai1 could speak perfectly good 
,english4 ,from him ,i learnt that our  
train was leaving 8about midnight0 for  

,moscow1 and that ,i could go to it any 
time ,i liked and find my sleeper4 ,i   
ought to have known this long before as 
it was already nearly midnight4 ,i made 
,alexandre ,kameneff and the soldier    
take me to the station immediately4 ,of 
course when ,i got there the train was  
nowhere to be found--it was in a        
siding--and ,i sat down on a stone step 
and waited1 thankful at least for the   
fresh air and the absence of glaring    
lights4 ,when our 8wagon-de-luxe0       
finally  ,illustration3 ,,bridge ,,blown
 ,,up ,,by ,,yudenitch4  p4 #fa4        
appeared it was the best that ,i have   
ever seen4 ,it had been the ,special of 
the ,minister for ,railways1 and was    
very spacious and comfortable4 ,as soon 
as ,kameneff1 ,gukovski and his little  
girl joined us1 the train started and we
 had a midnight supper of tea and       
caviare4   ,,september #ai,,th4  ,all   
night we have journeyed1 and all day4   
,it is now evening4 ,our special train  
has stopped at a wayside station for    

three hours to await the ,petrograd     
train1 on to which we shall link for    
,moscow4 ,then we shall travel again all
 night and arrive at our destination    
to-morrow morning4  ,it has been a      
beautiful day of sunshine4 ,i crossed   
the frontier riding on the engine4 ,the 
front of our car has a verandah from    
which one can get a beautiful view4 ,we 
crossed two wide rivers on temporary    
bridges1 as the original ones lay in    
dbris below us1 having been blown up by 
,yudenitch in his retreat last year     
after his attack on ,petrograd4 ,the    
woods on either side of the river were  
full of trenches1 dug-outs and barbed   
wire4 ,i had tea and bread and caviare  
at #i a4m4 and the same thing at #c p4m4
 and again at #g4 ,there is no          
restaurant car2 we have brought our food
 with us in a hamper4 ,there are other  
things to eat besides caviare1 only ,i  
cannot eat them4 ,there is cheese1 and  
some ham which is not like any ham that 
,i have ever known1 and there is a sort 

of schnitzel sausage and some apples4   
,the soldier who was with us yesterday  
and is still with us1 and whose name is 
,marinashky1 is a chauffeur4 ,i thought 
he was an officer4 ,he eats with us1    
smokes with us1 joins in the discussions
 and kindly lays the table for food and 
clears away for us4 ,it sounds odd1 but 
it seemed quite natural until ,i heard  
that he was a chauffeur4 ,my bourgeois  
bringing-up is constantly having        
surprises6 ,marinashky has a nice       
clear-cut face1 and square jaw like the 
,americans one saw during the war4      
,this afternoon we got out of the train 
and walked up the line1 as there were   
three hours to dispose of4 ,i led the   
way because there was a wood ,i wanted  
to go to4 ,it was extremely pretty1 and 
the moss sank beneath one's feet4 ,the  
children collected berries and scarlet  
mushrooms1 which they brought to me as  
offerings4  ,on the way back ,kameneff  
and his boy and ,i found a dry place    
covered with pine needles1 where we lay 

down1 and to the sound of father and son
 talking softly in ,russian ,i went fast
 asleep4 ,the sun was setting when they 
woke me up4 ,in the heart of ,russia1 in
 the company of ,bolsheviks1 ,i had     
spent an ,arcadian hour4  ,illustration3
 ,,gukovski1 ,,his ,,daughter1          
,,kameneff ,,and ,,marinashky4  p4 #fb4 
,,september #bj,,th4 ,moscow1 ,the      
,kremlin4  ,yesterday evening after we  
had started1 ,kameneff left us to go and
 talk to ,zinoviev who was on the       
,petrograd train1 travelling also to    
,moscow4 ,zinoviev is ,president of the 
,petrograd ,soviet 7and also of the     
,third ,international74 ,i did not see  
,kameneff again that evening1 but at #b 
a4m4 he knocked at my door and awakened 
me with many apologies to tell me news  
he thought ,i should like to hear4      
,zinoviev had just told him that the    
telegram announcing his arrival with me 
came in the middle of a ,soviet         
,conference4 ,it caused a good deal of  
amusement1 but ,lenin said that whatever

 one felt about it there was nothing to 
do but to give me some sittings as ,i   
had come so far for the purpose4 8,so   
,lenin has consented and ,i thought it  
was worth while to wake you up to tell  
you that40 ,kameneff was in great       
spirits2 ,zinoviev had evidently told   
him things he was glad to hear1         
especially1 ,i gathered1 that no blame  
or censure was going to be put upon him 
for having failed in his mission to     
,england4  ,we reached ,moscow at #aj4cj
 a4m4 and ,i waited in the train so that
 ,kameneff and his wife could get their 
tender greetings over without my        
presence4 ,i watched them through the   
window3 the greeting on one side1       
however1 was not apparent in its        
tenderness4 ,i waited and they walked up
 the platform talking with animation4   
,finally ,mrs4 ,kameneff came into the  
compartment and shook hands with me4    
,mrs4 ,philip ,snowden in her book has  
described her as 8an amiable little     
lady40 ,she has small brown eyes and    

thin lips4 ,she looked at the remains of
 our breakfast on the saloon table and  
said querulously1 8,we don't live chic  
like that in ,moscow40 ,goodness1 ,i    
thought1 not even like that6 ,there was 
more discussion in ,russian between the 
two1 and my expressionless face watched 
them4 ,i have become reconciled to not  
being unable to understand4  ,as we left
 the train she said to me3 8,leo        
,kameneff has quite forgotten about     
,russia1 the people here will say he is 
a bourgeois40 ,leo ,kameneff spat upon  
the platform in the most plebeian way1  
,i suppose to disprove this4 ,it was    
extremely unlike him4  ,we piled into a 
beautiful open ,rolls-,royce car and    
were driven at full speed with a great  
deal of hooting through streets that    
were shuttered as after an air raid4    
,mrs4 ,kameneff said to me3 8,it is     
dirty1 our ,moscow1 isn't it80 ,well1   
yes1 one could not very well say that it
 was not4  ,we came to the ,kremlin4 ,it
 is high up and dominates ,moscow and   

consists of the main  ,illustration3    
,,marinashky ,,and ,,the ,,ministerial  
,,rolls-,,royce4  p4 #fd4  palace1 some 
other palaces1 convents1 monasteries1   
and churches encircled by a wall and    
towers4 ,the sun was shining when we    
arrived and all the gold domes were     
glittering in the light4 ,everywhere one
 looked there were domes and towers4    
,we drove up to a side entrance under an
 archway1 and then made our way1 a      
solemn procession1 carrying luggage up  
endless stone stairs and along stone    
corridors to the ,kameneff apartments4  
,a little peasant maid with a yellow    
handkerchief tied over her head ran out 
to greet us1 and kissed ,kameneff on the
 mouth4 ,then ensued the awkward moment 
of being shown to no room4 ,after eleven
 days travelling one felt a longing for 
peace1 and to be able to unpack1 instead
 of which the ,russian discussion was   
resumed1 and ,i sat stupidly still with 
nothing to say4  ,for breakfast ,i was  
given coffee and an over-helping of dry 

tepid rice4 ,when for a moment ,i found 
myself alone with ,kameneff ,i asked him
 what was to become of me and begged him
 to send me to an hotel4 ,but there are 
no hotels2 everything belongs to the    
,government4 ,there are however1        
guest-houses1 but he was averse to my   
going to one1 as he said that ,i should 
be lonely and strange4 ,he told me to   
leave the matter entirely to him and he 
would decide in two hours4  ,meanwhile  
,i went for a walk in the ,kremlin      
grounds with ,alexandre and took a lot  
of photographs4 ,the beauty of it all   
was a wonderment1 and ,i was quite happy
 not to go outside the walls1 which ,i  
could not do as ,i had no pass4 ,then ,i
 came back and waited and waited for    
,kameneff to come and tell me where ,i  
was to go4 ,as the day passed by ,i felt
 more and more lonely4 ,for lack of     
another book ,i read de ,maupassant's   
8,yvette10 but hated it1 and thanked    
,god that ,bolshevism had at least wiped
 out that vile world of idle men4 ,at   

sunset ,i sat on the ledge of the open  
window1 and listened to the bells that  
were ringing from all the domes in      
,moscow4 ,below me was an avenue of     
trees that reached up to me with autumn 
colours4 ,i thought of ,dick and that   
to-day is his birthday4 ,i knew he must 
be asking1 8,where is #8,meema'2 why    
doesn't she come8 ,how long will she    
be80  ,when it was dark ,i was still    
looking out1 and ,anna ,anrevna1 the    
little maid1 came in softly in her      
string soled shoes and put her arms     
round me4 ,she told me in broken ,german
 that ,i must not traurig sein4         
,kameneff came in at half-past ten1 he  
was very tired and precluded all further
 discussion by saying that it was too   
late to go anywhere else1 and that ,i   
must stay for the night4 ,mrs4          
,illustration3 ,,the ,,kremlin1         
,,showing ,,entrance ,,to ,,the         
,,kameneffs' ,,apartments4  p4 #fe4     
,kameneff came in from her work a little
 later4 ,she sank into a chair and drew 

her hand across her brow in the most    
approved way to betoken physical        
exhaustion4 ,i was given ,alexandre's   
room1 through which they have to pass to
 get to their's1 and ,i have to pass    
through their's to get to the wash-room1
 as there is no washstand in my bedroom4
 ,i suppose ,alexandre slept on a sofa4 
,kameneff went back to his ,soviet      
meeting at eleven1 and ,i heard him pass
 through my room when he came home at #d
 a4m4   ,,september #ba,,st4  ,i        
awakened1 feeling much better4 ,the     
sunshine was too wonderful4 ,both the   
,kameneffs went off to their respective 
work1 she at #aj1 and he at #aa4 ,i went
 out into the ,kremlin grounds with     
,alexandre1 and while he played football
 with ,serge ,trotsky ,i sat among the  
columns of the ,alexander ,memorial and 
indulged in a kaleidoscope of thought4  
,serge is the twelve year old son of    
,trotsky1 and is a fine little boy with 
a broad chest and a straight back4 ,he  
looks like the heir to a throne in the  

guise of a peasant4  ,at #a o'clock a   
cousin of ,leo ,kameneff's who can speak
 ,french and ,english came to fetch me4 
,outside the ,kremlin gate an old man1  
who looked like a peasant1 stopped me   
and asked in ,english if ,i were ,sylvia
 ,pankhurst4  ,hearing ,i was not he    
asked3 8,but you are ,english and ,i    
hope a good ,communist80 ,i did not     
answer1 ,i just pressed his hand4  ,we  
went to the ,muse ,alexandre ,,iii1 the 
garden of which is strewn with large    
bronze eagles thrown down from the      
pediment4 ,they are very emblematic of  
the mighty who are fallen4  ,the ,museum
 contains replicas of classics of which 
the originals are in many cases in the  
,british ,museum4 ,but the arrangement  
and the backgrounds are so good1 that it
 gives one more pleasure to look at the 
,greek and ,assyrian replicas here than 
to see the originals in ,london4  ,a    
school of boys and girls1 extremely well
 fed and well dressed1 was being shown  
round1 and there was also a magnificent 

old peasant with long hair and aquiline 
nose1 who told us that he wanted before 
he died to see what a museum was like4  
,both he and the schoolmaster asked us  
if we could explain things to them as   
there were no guides4 ,even had ,i been 
able to speak the language1 ,i should   
have been at a loss to explain the      
,parthenon ,temple which we were facing 
at that moment4 ,the children probably1 
and the peasant surely1 had never heard 
of the ,parthenon1 nor of ,greek        
mythology2 where would one begin8 ,one  
could only have said3 8,isn't it        
beautiful1 don't you see how beautiful  
it is80 and hope that they did see it4  
,since ,i heard a guide explaining      
,rodin at ,south ,kensington to         
,australian soldiers1 ,i have felt sure 
that ,art can be felt1 but not          
explained4  ,in the end we procured a   
guidebook and sent the old peasant off  
with the children's school1 and left the
 master to do his best4 ,when ,i got    
back it was to find no one at home4 ,i  

ate some food1 as ,i was hungry1 and    
concluded that ,i was still to be a     
guest at the ,kremlin4 ,late in the     
afternoon ,i found my way alone through 
the maze of corridors and staircases1   
out into the grounds alone4 ,i wandered 
about1 still hypnotised by the beauty of
 the sun-reflecting domes1 and by the   
dead stillness which seemed to protest  
from the ,royal stones4 ,over the       
,tsar's palace crows pecked at the      
flagstaff where once the ,royal         
,standard had flown4 ,there is a clock  
in a tower at the ,kremlin ,gate and it 
has a complaining and depressing chime4 
,it complains once at the quarter1 four 
times at the hour4 ,it seemed to say1   
8,my people are gone6 and ,i am sad1 and
 ,i am sad40 ,it doubtless complained   
when ,napoleon took possession1 and     
again in ,tsarist days1 and probably    
will always lament2 some people are     
never satisfied4  ,i have a sort of     
feeling that ,i am staying at           
,versailles just after ,louis ,,xvi4 ,my

 emotions and impressions are too deep1 
too many1 and too bewildering to be     
measured in words4  ,in the evening     
,alexandre took me to a play at the     
,thtre des ,arts4 ,a big theatre and    
well filled4 ,the piece was very well   
staged4 ,the play1 which is adapted from
 an old ,polish legend called           
8,corrodine10 was well acted1 so that   
without understanding a word ,i gathered
 some of the sense4 ,in front of us sat 
,madame ,zinoviev with a ,comrade and ,i
 was glad when they talked to me in     
,french4 ,it was not until afterwards   
that ,i learnt who she was1 much to my  
amusement1 remembering that ,i had told 
her my errand1 and that ,zinoviev was   
among the heads promised to me4 ,she    
asked me if ,i would not have to go to  
,petrograd to do him1 but ,i said that  
,i thought not1 as he was in ,moscow at 
the moment1 and that if ,i could only   
find a place to work in1 he would sit to
 me at once4 ,i wondered why she        
laughed4   ,,september #bb,,nd4 ,moscow1

 ,the ,guest ,house4  ,mrs4 ,kameneff   
went to her work as usual at #aj a4m4   
,at breakfast half an hour later ,leo   
,borisvitch1 as he is called1 promised  
not to do any work or keep any          
engagement until he had taken me to my  
new headquarters in a  ,illustration3   
,,big ,,bell1 ,,kremlin4  ,illustration3
 ,,colonnades ,,of ,,the ,,alexander    
,,memorial4  p4 #fg4  guest-house4 ,we  
were delayed in starting by ,john ,reed1
 the ,american ,communist1 who came to  
see him on some business4 ,he is a      
well-built good-looking young man1 who  
has given up everything at home to throw
 his heart and life into work here4 ,i  
understand the ,russian spirit1 but what
 strange force impels an apparently     
normal young man from the ,united       
,states8 ,there also arrived to waylay  
us a painter called ,rosenfeld1 who wore
 canvas shoes like a peasant1 and kissed
 ,kameneff on his arrival4 ,he offered  
to show me museums and things1 but our  
only medium was ,german1 and his was a  

good deal worse than mine1 which was a  
great drawback4 ,at midday1 however1 we 
broke free1 and started off with my     
luggage4 ,i bade farewell to the        
,kremlin1 and we drove across the river 
to a guest-house on the opposite bank   
facing the ,tsar's ,palace4 ,the guest  
house is the requisitioned house of a   
sugar king4 ,it is inhabited by various 
,foreign ,office officials1 also by ,mr4
 ,rothstein and an ,american financier1 
,mr4 ,w4 ,b4 ,vanderlip4 ,a beautiful   
bedroom and dressing-room are mine1 with
 walls of green damask4 ,it looks more  
like a drawing-room than a bedroom4 ,the
 house is more or less exactly as the   
sugar king left it1 full of a mixture of
 good and bad things4 ,it is partly     
modern ,gothic and partly ,german ,louis
 ,,xvi4 ,the ceiling of one of the big  
rooms is painted by ,flameng1 but the   
best pictures 7there were some ,corots7 
have been taken to a museum4 ,one is    
extremely grateful for its comfort and  
hospitality1 even if its taste in       

decoration is not of the best4          
,moreover1 one can enjoy it             
lightheartedly1 for the exiled sugar    
king1 it is rumoured1 had other palaces 
abroad1 and never came to ,moscow except
 for a few weeks in the year4 ,he also  
has money invested abroad and is not in 
want1 and can well spare his ,moscow    
palace for so good a purpose4 ,his old  
manservant waits upon us1 and takes the 
tenderest care of the house in the      
belief that the old rgime will return1  
bringing the owners of the house with   
it4 ,he says openly that he is not a    
,bolshevik1 and takes much pride in     
changing our plates a great many times1 
and making the most of our humble fare4 
,he insists that so far as it depends   
upon him we shall behave like perfect   
ladies and gentlemen and be treated as  
such4  ,i stayed at home all day        
unpacking at last1 and settling down    
into my temporary home4 ,kameneff       
promised to come back in the course of  
the day1 but he didn't4 ,he telephoned  

however1 and arranged that ,i should be 
taken to the ,ballet with the party from
 this house4 ,we sat in the ,foreign    
,office box4 ,the ballet was            
8,coppelia10 beautifully produced1 and  
the orchestra one of the finest that ,i 
ever heard4 ,the theatre is the size of 
,covent ,garden1 and is decorated with  
crimson and gold4 ,there are boxes all  
round the first tier1 and the house was 
packed throughout4  ,the audience       
consisted of working people1 who had    
admission free through the distribution 
of tickets to certain unions4 ,they were
 a motley crowd1 chiefly en blouse4 ,in 
the ,royal box1 reserved for ,commissars
 and their wives1 there was a man with a
 cloth cap4 ,the women were eating      
apples4 ,in the box next to ours there  
was an old woman with a shawl over her  
head4  ,it was intensely moving to see  
the absorbed attention of the audience4 
,people leaned their elbows on the      
ledges of the boxes and watched the     
ballet with an almost devouring         

interest4 ,there was not a cough nor a  
whisper4 ,only when ,coppelia came to   
life as the mechanical doll1 there were 
delicious low ripples of controlled     
laughter from the children4 ,at the ends
 of the acts people left the stalls to  
rush1 not for the exits to the foyer1   
but to the front of the gangways nearest
 the stage to see the dancers close to1 
and to applaud them4 ,the people were   
tired people1 who had worked all day and
 had earned a good evening and were     
enjoying it to the full4  ,my only      
contretemps was with a little           
stenographer from the ,foreign ,office  
who was in our box4 ,she observed that  
,i had on the red enamelled star of     
,communism1 and that ,i wore white      
gloves4 ,one1 she said1 contradicted the
 other2 the white gloves were bourgeois4
 ,i argued that it only mattered what   
was in my heart1 and not what was on my 
hands4 ,but she would not be pacified1  
so ,i removed the gloves4 ,considering  
that my costume was a red tweed skirt   

with a red1 wool jersey and a           
tight-fitting cap1 ,i had thought that  
gloves would not make me over-dressed4  
,if my evening's pleasure was           
neutralised by the concentrated aroma   
which arose from the great unwashed1 it 
is only fair to observe that there is no
 soap in the country1 and most people   
have1 for two years or so1 only had the 
one suit of clothes in which they stand 
up4 ,no wonder----6 ,in the car coming  
home ,i met ,mr4 ,rothstein1 who is     
living in the same house4 ,i wished ,i  
could recall the abusive article which  
,i read about him in an ,english        
newspaper1 but all ,i remember is that  
he is not to be readmitted to ,england4 
,he seems to be an energetic and        
forceful little man4 ,i expect he is    
pretty clever4 ,we had supper together  
after the theatre1 and conversation     
,illustration3 ,,serge ,,trotsky ,,and  
,,alexandre ,,kameneff4  p4 #fg4        
drifted on to that eternal comedy1 the  
,nationalisation of women4 ,i happened  

to say that this had done more to harm  
the ,bolshevik cause than almost        
anything1 and1 moreover1 that quite     
serious people still believed it4 ,mr4  
,rothstein interposed rather sharply1   
8,well1 a little select circle which    
reads the ,morning ,post perhaps        
believes it40  ,is it possible1 ,i      
wonder that he is right1 and that the   
8little select circle0 do not count as  
much as ,i have all my life taken for   
granted that they did8   ,,september    
#bc,,rd4  ,i wasted a lot of time this  
morning trying to fix things up without 
the help of ,kameneff4 ,as things have  
turned out ,i might have saved myself   
the trouble4 ,john ,reed told me that ,i
 never would begin work unless ,i       
arranged everything for myself1 and     
depended on no one here4 ,on the other  
hand ,mr4 ,vanderlip told me to keep    
calm1 as his experience was that        
everything came in time4 ,thoroughly    
impatient however1 ,i got hold of ,mr4  
,rosenfeld who arrived simultaneously   

with ,alexandre ,kameneff and a motor4  
,rosenfeld took me studio hunting4 ,the 
,art ,schools seemed to be very far away
 from the parts of ,moscow that are     
familiar to me1 and although everyone   
was willing to help1 there seemed to be 
little accommodation available4 ,in the 
,academia1 which ,i believe is only just
 re-opening1 they offered me a place to 
work in--a gallery which obviously was  
not suitable4 ,we went on to the        
,strogonoff ,school1 where ,mr4         
,konenkoff1 one of their most           
distinguished sculptors1 offered me of  
his best4 ,it was like an empty kitchen 
looking into a bleak courtyard4 ,the two
 students who followed us round were not
 very sympathetic4 ,no doubt they       
thought it presumptuous of me to come to
 ,russia and expect to model ,lenin6    
,they certainly did not seem to think he
 would sit to me4 ,kameneff had warned  
me that most of the artists ,i should   
meet would not be ,bolsheviks1 so that  
probably the students ,i met were not1  

but thought that ,i was4 ,one of them1 a
 girl and more friendly than the rest1  
said to me in ,french3 8,if you are a   
friend of those in power ,i suppose you 
will get some food2 we are expected to  
work here all day from #i in the morning
 till #f at night without any40 ,i asked
 why she did not bring her food with    
her1 and received some jumbled          
explanation about rations and           
distribution and ,state ,control and no 
shops1 which was so bewildering that ,i 
avoided further discussion4 ,it was     
obvious that ,i did not understand the  
,illustration3 ,,bronze ,,eagle ,,at    
,,the ,,mus,e ,,alexandre ,,iii4  p4    
#fh4  condition of things1 and that ,i  
looked rather stupid in consequence4    
,another one said to me3 8,madame1 we   
are waiting for deliverance4 ,for two   
years we have waited4 ,we do not know   
how it is to come1 but we just hope that
 some morning we may wake up to find the
 nightmare over40 ,i said feebly that   
there had been six years of war1 and a  

blockade1 but ,i felt it was no business
 of mine to put up a defence for their  
system4 ,i came home thoroughly         
depressed and disheartened1 having      
accomplished nothing4 ,at #aj p4m4 ,i   
was sitting in the gilded drawing-room  
with ,mr4 ,vanderlip when the telephone 
rang3 it was ,kameneff4 ,he announced   
that he had a room for me at the        
,kremlin and that ,i must work there    
because all the people ,i had to model  
were there1 and that it was the only way
 to get them as they were very busy4 ,he
 promised to send someone for me in the 
morning to take me there4 ,he asked if  
,i were lonely1 resentful1 or bored1 and
 pleaded his inability to get to me     
owing to stress of work4 ,he begged me  
to be patient and good1 and promised    
that all would come right4 ,i went to   
bed feeling really better4   ,,september
 #bd,,th4  ,madame ,kameneff's secretary
 fetched me at #aj a4m4 and we found a  
,comrade waiting for us at the ,kremlin 
gateway4 ,he was a painter1 young and   

bearded1 who could speak only ,russian4 
,we got our passes to get into the big  
round building which used to be the     
,courts of ,justice1 and where the      
conferences are now held4 ,it is the    
chief building1 and the ,red flag flies 
above it4 ,once inside we walked for    
ever as it seemed1 along stone corridors
 full of busy people4 ,we went to the   
room of ,comrade ,unachides1 one of the 
most magnificent men that ,i have ever  
seen1 a real ,mestrovic type1 strong    
features and bushy red hair4            
,unfortunately he also could only speak 
,russian4 ,he showed me the room which  
is placed at my disposal4 ,it is big and
 nearly empty1 semi-circular in shape1  
with bare white-washed walls4 ,in one   
corner a formidable iron door with round
 peep-holes in it leads into a small    
cell which contains a safe4 ,the safe is
 sealed up with ,soviet seals4 ,the     
cell1 ,i was told1 was a disused prison4
 ,this probably accounted for the       
atmosphere of depression and grimness   

which persisted in spite of the sunlight
 which in the afternoon flooded my three
 big windows4 ,opposite1 across the     
courtyard1 is the ,arsenal1 and all     
along the ,arsenal walls are ranged the 
masses of cannon with their 8,n0        
surrounded by the laurel wreath1 which  
leaves one in no doubt as to their      
origin4  ,illustration3 ,,big ,,gun ,,at
 ,,the ,,kremlin4  ,while ,i was looking
 round1 ,kameneff turned up2 he told me 
to make a list of my requirements1 and  
then carried me off in a car and was    
able to stay with me until #b o'clock4  
,these moments together snatched in     
between work are so rare that one almost
 values them4 ,he told me ,i was to go  
to a meeting at the theatre in the      
evening1 and promised that ,i should be 
in a box near the stage so that ,i could
 see well4 ,he was to address the       
meeting on the subject of his visit to  
,england4  ,the party from our house    
were late in starting4 ,we got to the   
theatre after the meeting had begun1 and

 were put in the ,tsar's box4 ,this was 
already crammed full to overflowing1 and
 all the chairs were occupied by ,turks1
 ,chinese and ,persians4 ,no one        
attempted to offer me a place4 ,mr4     
,vanderlip and ,i stood for some time1  
while people moved in and out and ,turks
 and ,persians 7,i shall never want to  
smell geranium again7 pushed us about in
 their impatient efforts to get past or 
over us4 ,all my ,british blood was     
boiling1 and ,i realised that for the   
time being1 at all events1 ,i could not 
regard the ,turks and ,persians and     
,chinese as my brothers4  ,after awhile 
,mr4 ,vanderlip and ,i were moved to the
 stage box4 ,this too was full1 but not 
of the same kind of people4 ,anyway1 it 
was nearer1 and one got a better view4  
,clara ,zetkin1 the ,german ,socialist1 
was speaking1 spitting forth venom1 as  
it sounded4 ,the ,german language is not
 beautiful1 and the ferocious old soul1 
mopping her plain face with a large     
handkerchief1 was not inspiring4 ,it    

sounded very hysterical and ,i only     
understood an outline of what she was   
saying4 ,then ,trotsky got up1 and      
translated her speech into ,russian4 ,he
 interested me very much4 ,he is a man  
with a slim1 good figure1 splendid      
fighting countenance1 and his whole     
personality is full of force4 ,i look   
forward immensely to doing his head4    
,there is something that ought to lend  
itself to a fine piece of work4 ,the    
overcrowded house was as still as if it 
were empty1 everyone was attentive and  
concentrated4  ,after ,trotsky ,mme4    
,kolontai spoke4 ,she has short dark    
hair4 ,perhaps she spoke well1 but of   
that ,i could not judge4 ,tired of      
standing and of not understanding ,i    
left the theatre at the moment when a   
great many repetitions of ,churchill's  
and ,lloyd ,george's names were rocking 
the house with laughter4   ,,september  
#be,,th4  ,i feel very discouraged4     
,everyone ,i meet asks me what ,i have  
come to ,moscow for4 ,they assure me    

that there is no chance of modelling    
,lenin1 and still less of doing         
,dzhirjinsky1 who is a  ,illustration3  
,,rothstein1 ,,showing ,,the ,,kremlin  
,,in ,,the ,,background4  p4 #ga4       
recluse4 ,nevertheless1 ,i have spent   
the day getting everything in order4    
,sackfuls of bone-dry clay have been    
delivered at my door4 ,five men and one 
girl stood inert and watched me break it
 up with a crow-bar4 ,finally ,i was    
able to send them all away except one1 a
 really intelligent carpenter1 who1     
instead of trying to talk to me1 watched
 me and understood what ,i wanted4 ,he  
was splendid1 made three armatures for  
me1 and then beat and stirred the clay  
for three hours until it was in         
condition4 ,when ,kameneff looked in1   
bringing ,zinoviev1 ,i was up to my     
elbows in clay1 my clothes were covered1
 and my hair was standing on end4       
,zinoviev laughed1 and said it was      
obvious that ,i should not be ready for 
him to sit to me for days1 but ,i       

assured him all would be in order       
to-morrow1 and added that a man of the  
carpenter's intelligence was worthy to  
be a ,government minister4 ,kameneff    
repeated this to the carpenter1 and then
 said to me3 8,here everything is       
possible40 ,before leaving he gave me a 
pass into the ,kremlin that will last   
until ,december1 so ,i am independent at
 last1 and can go in and out alone when 
,i please4 ,i did not come home until ,i
 had built up two heads ready to work   
on4 ,i am very tired but full of hope1  
remembering that ,i have heard that     
things come slowly in ,russia1 but they 
come eventually4   ,,september #bf,,th4 
,i went to church at ,st4 ,saviour's1   
the big church beyond the bridge1 which 
was built with the private money of the 
,tsar as a thanksgiving for deliverance 
from ,napoleon4 ,it has five gold domes 
which are a beacon to me when ,i am     
lost4 ,a service was going on and we    
mingled with the crowd1 which had an    
amazing preponderance of men4 ,the      

richness of the church with its golden  
and crimson robed priests seemed to     
throw into relief the poverty of the    
people with their faces so full of      
sadness4 ,what absurdly stupid things   
animate one's thoughts in the most      
precious moments3 for instance1 when the
 priest made the sign of the ,cross with
 the three branched candlesticks in each
 hand1 ,i instinctively looked to see if
 he had dropped candle-grease on the    
carpet--he had6 ,when the contribution  
plate began to circulate ,i watched an  
old peasant next to me4 ,he drew out his
 pocket-book1 and fumbled for a few     
roubles4 ,he held five of these like a  
card-hand and fingered them             
hesitatingly4 ,it was obvious that he   
was trying to make up his mind whether  
he could afford to part with them all1  
or only with some of them4 ,in the end  
he put them all into the plate1 a little
 act of sacrifice which ,i am sure will 
not pass unblessed4  ,the choir singing 
without accompaniment was               

,illustration3 ,,saint ,,saviour',s4  p4
 #hb4  very beautiful4 ,the masses      
seemed to be very fervent1 one could see
 ,faith and ,hope in all their faces4   
,it is surely the deep religious feeling
 in ,russia that has sustained these    
people through all their years of       
privation1 and prevented a greater      
chaos4  ,after church we walked along1  
rejoicing in the sun1 to the            
,tretiakovskaya ,gallery1 full of       
various schools of painting4 ,among the 
pictures is the famous one of ,ivan the 
,terrible killing his son1 but          
everything that ,i saw was obliterated  
by the memory of three modern busts1 the
 work of ,konenoff1 the sculptor ,i met 
at the ,strogonoff ,school4 ,these busts
 are carved out of blocks of wood4 ,they
 are indescribable masterpieces in      
conception1 composition and carving4 ,i 
remained for sometime in admiration and 
wonderment over this modern work1 and   
then went away1 as ,i could not look at 
anything else4  ,at #c o'clock ,i       

hurried to the ,kremlin1 as ,kameneff   
had telephoned telling me to expect     
,zinoviev4 ,i waited until four and then
 he arrived1 busy1 tired and impatient1 
his overcoat slung over his shoulders as
 though he had not had time to put his  
arms through the sleeves4 ,he flung off 
his hat and ran his fingers through his 
black curly hair1 which already was     
standing on end4 ,he sat restlessly     
looking up and down1 round and out and  
beyond2 then he read his newspaper1     
every now and again flashing round with 
an imperative look at me to see how ,i  
was getting on4 ,he seemed to me an     
extraordinary mix-up of conflicting     
personalities4 ,he has the eyes and brow
 of the fighting man1 and the mouth of a
 petulant woman4  ,little by little he  
became more tractable1 and when he had  
finished reading we talked a little4 ,at
 moments he threw his head back and     
seemed to be dreaming4 ,then he looked  
like a poet4 ,he is only thirty-eight4  
,it is amazing how young all these      

,revolutionaries are4 ,i gleaned from   
him the news that ,millerand is the new 
,president of the ,french1 to which he  
shrugged his shoulders and said that it 
made no difference1 and that the        
,british strike fixed for to-morrow has 
been postponed for a week4 ,before he   
left he said he was pleased with the    
start of his bust1 and that ,i must do  
,lenin4  ,i walked home in face of a    
lovely sunset2 the fiery ball was       
reflected in the gold dome of ,st4      
,saviour's4 ,i sang as ,i walked1       
because ,i have begun work at last1 but 
people looked at me1 although they had  
never looked at me before4 ,i suppose it
 was peculiar to hear anyone sing4      
,illustration3 ,,bust ,,of ,,zinoviev4  
p4 #hc4   ,,september #bg,,th4  ,things 
begin to move more rapidly now1 and my  
patience is being rewarded4 ,to-day     
,dzhirjinsky came4 ,he is the ,president
 of the ,extraordinary ,commission1 or  
as we should call it in ,english1 the   
organiser of the ,red ,terror4 ,he is   

the man ,kameneff has told me so much   
about4 ,he sat for an hour and a half1  
quite still and very silent4 ,his eyes  
certainly looked as if they were bathed 
in tears of eternal sorrow1 but his     
mouth smiled an indulgent kindness4 ,his
 face is narrow1 with high cheek bones  
and sunk in4 ,of all his features his   
nose seems to have the most character4  
,it is very refined1 and the delicate   
bloodless nostrils suggest the          
sensitiveness of over-breeding4 ,he is a
 ,pole by origin4  ,as ,i worked and    
watched him during that hour and a half 
he made a curious impression on me4     
,finally1 overwhelmed by his quietude1  
,i exclaimed3 8,you are an angel to sit 
so still40 ,our medium was ,german1     
which made fluent conversation between  
us impossible1 but he answered3 8,one   
learns patience and calm in prison40  ,i
 asked how long he was in prison4 8,a   
quarter of my life1 eleven years10 he   
answered4 ,it was the ,revolution that  
liberated him4 ,obviously it is not the 

abstract desire for power or for a      
political career that has made          
,revolutionaries of such men1 but a     
fanatical conviction of the wrongs to be
 righted for the cause of humanity and  
national progress4 ,for this cause men  
of sensitive intellect have endured     
years of imprisonment4  ,being ,monday  
there is no theatre1 as that is the     
night the artists have free--on ,sundays
 they work for the enjoyment of the     
people--so ,i dined with ,mr4           
,vanderlip1 who told me many things     
which ,i may not at this juncture write 
down or repeat4 ,i have not sought his  
confidence1 so ,i thought it rather     
unjustifiable when at the end of the    
evening1 having found me a sympathetic  
listener1 he said3 8,you know too much  
now1 ,i shall see that you do not leave 
the country before ,i do40 ,although he 
likes the people with whom he has come  
in business contact1 he is frankly a    
capitalist1 and glories in it4 ,he is   
like the ,englishman abroad who is      

conscious of being different to everyone
 else1 and derives from it a smug       
feeling of superiority4  ,after dinner  
he was sent for by ,tchicherin1 and ,i  
spent the evening with ,michael         
,borodin4 ,michael ,markovitch1 as      
,borodin is called1 lives in our house4 
,he is a man with shaggy black hair     
brushed back from his forehead1 a       
,napoleonic beard1 deep-set eyes1 and a 
face like a mask4 ,he talks abrupt      
,american-,english in a base voice4 ,i  
have not seen much of him as he works   
half the day and all the night1 like the
 other ,foreign ,office officials4 ,he  
is usually late for meals1 eats         
hurriedly and leaves before we have     
finished4 ,as soon as ,vanderlip had    
gone ,borodin switched out all the      
drawing-room lights that ,vanderlip had 
put on1 except one4 ,i asked him why he 
did this1 and he looked round the garish
 room and gave a slight shudder3 8,it is
 parvenu10 he said2 then sinking back   
into his chair he looked at me intently1

 and asked3 8,what is your economic     
position in the world80 ,it is the first
 time he has talked to me1 and ,i found 
myself answering as if my life depended 
on my answers4 ,happily no one in this  
country knows anything about my family1 
up-bringing1 or surroundings4 ,i have   
not got to live down my wasted years4 ,i
 can stand on my own feet and be        
accepted on my own merits4 ,borodin     
mystifies me1 ,i cannot make out1 when  
all his questions have been answered1   
what he thinks4   ,,september #bh,,th4  
,dzhirjinsky came at #aj a4m4 for an    
hour4 ,he is leaving ,moscow for a      
fortnight1 so that ,i can get no more   
sittings1 but seeing how keen ,i was1 he
 stayed on and on1 doling out ten       
minutes and quarter-hours as so much    
fine gold4 ,he sits so well that two    
sittings are worth four of ,zinoviev's4 
,when the ,savonarola of the ,revolution
 left1 ,i felt a real sadness that ,i   
may never see him again4 ,zinoviev sat  
again in the afternoon1 and brought with

 him ,bucharin and ,bela ,kun4 ,they    
seemed to approve of ,dzhirjinsky's     
bust1 and insisted on looking through   
all the photographs of my work4 ,the    
8,victory0 is what really interests     
them4  ,i was frightfully disappointed  
in ,bela ,kun4 ,i had imagined a        
romantic figure1 but he looks most      
disreputable4 ,bucharin is attractive   
with his trim1 neat little beard and    
young face4  ,this afternoon1 after all 
had left1 three soldiers brought a gilt 
,louis ,,xvi sofa and a ,turkestan      
carpet to my workroom4 ,these had been  
ordered to help to make it more         
habitable and to dispel the severity4 ,i
 had to laugh1 the sofa looked so       
absurdly refined and out of place4 ,i   
wondered whose drawing-room it once     
furnished1 and to what little tea-time  
gossips it had listened4 ,at that moment
 a sculptor called ,nicholas ,andrev    
came in and introduced himself to me4   
,he was sent by ,kameneff and mercifully
 speaks ,french4 ,a big man with small  

laughing eyes and a red-grey beard1     
typically ,russian4 ,after we had talked
 for awhile he described to me the      
difficulties  ,illustration3 ,,bust ,,of
 ,,dzhirjinsky4  p4 #hg4  under which he
 had tried to do ,lenin in his office1  
and while he was working4 ,he said that 
portraiture was not ,art4 ,i could not  
but agree with him1 as the difficulty   
always in doing portraits is that       
sittings are always too few and too     
short1 but said that one had to put up  
with it1 and do the best one could1     
breaking one's heart over it all the    
time4  ,he said he had given up         
sculpture for the time being because of 
the difficult conditions1 and had taken 
to drawing instead4 ,i said that for the
 present ,i was intent on portraits1 and
 that ,art would have to wait until     
later4 ,his attitude is characteristic  
of the sculptor species4 ,they are all  
so d---- d proud1 and if they cannot get
 all the sittings they need and work    
under ideal conditions1 they do not     

think it worth while trying4 ,i consider
 that there are a few people in the     
world who are worth any effort to do1   
even if they do not give one a chance to
 do one's best work4 ,andrev laughed and
 said that that was journalism in ,art4 
,when ,i got home ,i found that the     
water had been heated for baths4 ,this  
was a great joy3 ,i had not had one for 
eight days4 ,once a week is our         
allowance1 and it should be on          
,saturdays1 but something went wrong    
with the pipe1 and we have been         
disappointed each evening1 so that in   
fact ,i had given up hope4 ,how one has 
learned to appreciate the most ordinary 
things that one never thought of being  
thankful for before4 ,but since ,i have 
been here ,i have had to wash in cold   
water2 nor am ,i called1 but ,i wake up 
quite mechanically every morning at     
eight4 ,it will be wonderful to have    
scrambled eggs one day for breakfast1   
but ,i am getting used to just black    
bread and butter1 and sometimes cheese4 

,i wonder a good deal about my family   
and friends4 ,it is so strange to have  
left them without a word1 and to get no 
letters and not to be able to write any4
 ,mamma especially--bless her1 who      
always says 8good-night0 as if it were  
8good-bye-for-ever0--,i wonder what she 
feels about my going off without telling
 her4 ,i wonder if ,papa is anxious     
about me1 or indifferent and resentful6 
,when ,i think about ,dick and ,margaret
 ,i feel a sadness4 ,i can get on       
without most people in the world1 but   
not without those two1 and they must    
wonder why they do not get letters from 
me4 ,it it rather dreadful to think that
 they might believe that my silence     
means forgetfulness4  ,this evening we  
went to the 8,coq d',or40 ,i thought ,i 
was back in ,london until ,i looked away
 from the stage4  ,illustration3        
,marcus ,adams4  ,,margaret ,,and       
,,richard ,,brinsley ,,sheridan4  p4    
#ij4   ,,september #cj,,th4  ,kameneff  
came to see me in the morning with his  

watch in his hand1 he had twenty        
minutes4 ,it was paralysing1 one cannot 
talk under such conditions4 ,i confined 
myself to presenting him with a list of 
things ,i want done6 ,small wonder he   
comes so seldom to see me4 ,when he does
 come everyone in the house knows it1   
and one by one they come to my door and 
ask to see him1 each wanting something  
of him1 while his car which waits at the
 door is borrowed for an errand4 ,it is 
very discouraging for him4  ,borodin    
took me to 8,prince ,igor0 this evening1
 it combined the opera with the ballet4 
,in the box next to us was a party of   
,afghans and with them a ,korean4 ,down 
in the stalls one man was in a smoking  
coat and evening shirt1 the first ,i    
have seen4 ,he was very conspicuous4    
,,october #a,,st4  ,nicholas ,andrev met
 me at the ,kremlin at #a o'clock4      
,kameneff had placed a car at our       
disposal for the afternoon4 ,we went to 
several galleries1 beginning with the   
,kremlin4 ,the palace of a ,grand       

,duchess 7opposite the big bell7 has    
been converted into a working people's  
club4 ,it was quite clean and cared for1
 but only the ,empire ,swan furniture   
suggested it had ever been a private    
habitation4 ,we went downstairs to a    
private chapel1 painted in black and    
gold4 ,this had been made into a        
modelling school1 and there were some   
very good things being done from life4  
,the ,spirit of the ,holy ,ghost        
descending as a dove from above1 and the
 golden rays of a carved sun made a     
strange background4 ,my bourgeois       
prejudice was just for a moment shocked1
 until ,i remembered that in our own old
 fourteenth century chapel at home ,papa
 typewrites on the altar step4 ,it has  
been longer in disuse it is true1 but   
still1 one must be consistent4 ,from    
there we drove in the car to the house  
of ,ostrouckof1 who showed me his room  
full of ,ikons1 one of which came out of
 ,st4 ,sofia4 ,some date back to the    
fifth and sixth centuries4 ,they were   

beautiful in design and colour1 and most
 interesting when he explained them to  
me4 ,downstairs he had a modern motley  
collection4 ,he showed us a ,mattisse   
given to him by ,mattisse himself2 it   
was a curious contrast after ,ikons4    
,we drifted into some art schools1 where
 soldiers and sailors were working from 
life models1 and the work they were     
doing was extremely good4 ,one of these 
schools was in the large house of a rich
 merchant4 ,the ,soviet ,government are 
pretty shrewd in the selection of houses
 for various purposes4 ,although some of
 the big houses are  ,illustration3     
,,the ,,church ,,of ,,saint ,,basil     
,,and ,,the ,,red ,,square4  p4 #ie4    
often given over for clubs or           
workplaces1 only a really vulgar1       
over-decorated house in impossibly bad  
taste is used for rough or dirty work4  
,the exhibitions of proletarian art are 
very interesting1 and deeply imbued with
 the modern movement4 ,there are crude  
drawings that show an appreciation of   

form1 and there is sculpture in wood    
that is often very effective1 and may   
lead to something good4  ,one of these  
exhibitions was in an exquisite house of
 beautiful architecture that stood back 
from the street1 in a garden that had   
run to seed4 ,the house had once        
belonged to the ,princess ,dolgorouki1  
but it had passed into the hands of a   
,countess somebody1 who had died4 ,the  
daughter hritire had been turned out1   
but it was said that she was still      
living in the basement4 ,the ground     
floor consisted of a series of small1   
beautifully proportioned rooms1 with    
painted ceilings and carved doors4 ,one 
was a ,chinese room and all were in     
exquisite taste4 ,there were some lovely
 ,empire bronzes and old ,dore1 and     
other objects of art4  ,the house seemed
 to be open to anyone who chose to come 
in4 ,the old cherry-satin upholstery of 
the ,french chairs was in limbo4 ,i     
never felt a place so small and full of 
ghosts4 ,perhaps1 because it was so     

small1 it had the feeling of having been
 someone's intimate home1 not a blatant 
place of entertaining4  ,as we wandered 
round a man joined us and1 speaking to  
us in ,french1 asked if we were from    
,france4 ,his cap was drawn well over   
his eyes1 and the collar of his overcoat
 turned up over his ears4 ,one could    
only see a well-bred nose pinched with  
cold4 ,he knew about the house and its  
history1 and which were the best bits of
 furniture4 ,he was evidently a cultured
 man1 and but for the presence of       
,andrev1 who always laughs at me1 ,i    
would have talked to him about himself4 
,he was rather like a ghost haunting a  
place he knew1 and ,i imagine he was no 
,bolshevik1 but one who had known       
prosperous days4  ,i came away filled   
with sadness1 and when ,kameneff came to
 see me this evening1 ,i tried to tell  
him about it1 and begged him to have the
 house taken care of4 ,he says that     
there is a committee that looks after   
all the houses1 but ,i think they have  

passed this one by4  ,coming back from  
our wanderings we passed1 in one of the 
squares1 a statue of ,gogol1 the        
,russian writer4 ,i thought it a very   
fine piece of work4 ,gogol1 half wrapped
 in a cloak1 looks down scrutinizingly  
in bronze from his rough granite seat1  
and ,andrev laughed at me for liking it1
 and said that in ,moscow it was scorned
 and had brought coals of fire down on  
the artist's head4  ,i was very         
surprised1 and thought to myself that   
the standard of ,russian art must be    
very high3 but in spite of this         
ridicule1 ,i stuck to my opinion4 ,i    
even said that in ,london we had not a  
single statue as good as that one4      
,later he admitted that he was the      
author of it4   ,,october #b,,nd4       
,hearing that there was a review of     
troops in the ,red ,square at #aa       
o'clock1 ,i went to see what ,i could   
see4 ,everyone else seemed busy1 and    
,michael ,markovitch1 whom ,i wanted1   
was not to be found4 ,if he had come    

with me ,i should have taken my kodak1  
but ,i have not a permit and did not    
feel like risking a controversy alone4  
,arrived in the ,red ,square1 ,i was not
 allowed to get anywhere near1 and ,i   
did so want to see and hear ,trotsky    
addressing the troops4 ,soldiers kept   
the onlookers absolutely out of the     
square1 and ,i stood on the steps of the
 wonderful church of ,st4 ,basil4 ,the  
soldiers certainly were very amiable1   
and1 when ,i wandered rebelliously from 
my steps out into the road1 a bayonet   
was levelled smilingly at me2 ,i made a 
gesture of not understanding1 and said  
helplessly in ,english 8,where do you   
want me to go80 ,whereupon the soldier  
laughed and allowed me to stand by his  
side4 ,the crowd was very quiet and     
apathetic1 one certainly was not near   
enough to get excited4 ,in the dim      
distance one could hear ,trotsky's      
voice1 punctuated by cheers from the    
soldiers4 ,after awhile the crowd broke 
forward to where ,i stood with the      

soldier4 ,some mounted detachments came 
towards us1 very decorative indeed with 
bright coloured uniforms and lances with
 fluttering pennons4 ,suddenly a man at 
my side said to me in ,french3 8,madame1
 does this please you80 ,i was very glad
 to have someone to speak to2 the man   
was young1 and1 though ill-shaved1 was  
well-dressed in uniform4 ,he could speak
 ,german also1 but ,english he said he  
had forgotten1 though he had at one time
 spent three months in ,england4 ,waving
 a hand contemptously towards the scene 
before us1 he said3 8,c'est du thtre1   
,madame--that is all it amounts to40 ,i 
ventured to say that a theatrical       
display was not much use unless there   
were spectators4 ,in ,england1 ,i       
assured him1 we had our military        
pageants for the benefit of the people1 
but what was the use of this if we were 
not allowed anywhere near8 ,he replied  
that it was a necessary precaution for  
the protection of ,trotsky4 ,i laughed3 
8,we are three gunshots away1 at least40

 ,then to my amazement the man began to 
discuss and criticise1 and talk what    
seemed to me pure                       
,counter-,revolutionary stuff4 ,from all
 one has ever heard about ,russian      
conditions 7,tsarist as well as         
,revolutionary7 it seemed to me that he 
was strangely indiscreet1 and ,i asked  
him3 8,are you not mad to talk like this
 in a crowd8 ,anyone may understand     
,french40 ,he shrugged his shoulders3   
8,one has lived so long now side by side
 with death that one has grown callous40
 ,he then asked if ,i would care to go  
for a walk4 ,i felt rather selfconscious
 of walking away in front of the crowd  
with a man whom they had seen me so     
obviously 8pick-up40 ,however1 in       
,russia there are no conventions1 it was
 only my bourgeois blood rushing to the 
surface again that made it seem         
peculiar4  ,we went down to the river   
and leaned against the railing and      
talked for a long time4 ,he was         
certainly very interesting and amazingly

 indiscreet4 ,happily ,i have nothing   
with which to reproach myself4 ,i       
adopted a perfectly good ,bolshevik     
point of view1 and argued in my usual   
way about wars and blockades1 and urged 
him to have imagination and to look     
further ahead than to-day and to-morrow4
 ,we talked about idealists1 reviewed a 
few ,tsarist items1 and made            
comparisons1 but everything ,i said     
provoked him to further extreme         
utterances4 ,he wished finally that he  
might have an opportunity of showing me 
8the other side40 ,he invited me to go  
to a factory with him4 ,i asked what use
 that would be as ,i cannot speak a word
 of ,russian4 ,he said he would like to 
present to me his father and his uncle1 
but as they were both 8known0 he would  
have to be very careful4 ,finally we    
exchanged my name and address for his   
telephone number4 ,he said that if ,i   
would telephone him to-morrow1 ,sunday  
night1 he would meet me outside my front
 gate at #aa on ,monday morning1 but he 

would not dare to come into the house4  
,at #a o'clock a4m4 7,i have adopted the
 ,russian habit of not going to bed7 ,i 
saw ,michael ,markovitch1 when he       
returned from the ,commissariat1 and    
told him about it4 ,he said that he must
 be the queerest sort of                
,counter-,revolutionary he had ever     
heard of1 and advised me to leave him   
alone4   ,,october #c,,rd4  ,i have been
 five days out of work4 ,it seems much  
longer4 ,i am told that there are people
 in ,moscow who have been waiting six   
months to accomplish the business they  
came for4 ,lenin seems to me further    
away than he did in ,london4 ,there is  
nothing to do here unless one has work4 
,never could one have imagined a world  
in which there is absolutely no social  
life and no shops4 ,there are no        
newspapers 7for me7 and no letters1     
either to be received or written4 ,there
 are no meals to look forward to1 and   
comfort cannot be sought in a hot bath4 
,when one has seen all the galleries1   

and they are open only half a day1 and  
some of them not every day1 and when one
 has walked over cobblestones until     
one's feet ache1 there is nothing more  
to be done4 ,one must have work to do4  
,perhaps ,i should be calmer if ,i had  
already accomplished ,lenin1 but my     
anxiety is lest ,i should have to wait  
weary weeks4 ,return to ,london without 
his head ,i cannot4 ,michael took me for
 a walk1 and it was extremely cold4 ,we 
went to ,st4 ,basil1 as ,i wanted to see
 it inside1 but it is locked after #c   
o'clock4 ,outside it is wonderful1      
painted all over in various designs and 
colours4 ,i cannot understand how it    
stands the climate4 ,inside ,i am told  
that there is not much to see2 ,napoleon
 stabled his horses in it4 ,one has     
heard so much about ,bolshevik outrages1
 but they have done nothing like that4  
,napoleon distinguished himself in      
several ways while he was here4 ,for    
instance1 he ordered the destruction of 
the beautiful ,spassky ,gate of the     

,kremlin2 the barrels of powder were    
placed in position and the matches were 
lit as the last of the ,french rode out4
 ,the ,cossacks galloped up in time to  
put the matches out at the risk of their
 lives4  ,on our way home we passed by  
,st4 ,saviour's church and looked in1   
really impelled to seek refuge from the 
cold4 ,in a side chapel where the light 
was dim1 a priest1 with his long hair   
and beard and fine features1 was        
preaching to a congregation which sat   
fervently absorbed4 ,the heads of the   
women looked ,eastern in their shawl    
swathings4 ,i listened for some time to 
the strange musical tongue1 of which ,i 
could not understand a word4 ,the priest
 looked so amazingly like the           
traditional pictures of ,christ that ,i 
felt ,i was listening to the great      
,master teaching in the ,temple4        
,,october #d,,th4  ,when ,i came down to
 breakfast at #aj my strange            
,counter-,revolutionary was sitting in  
the hall4 ,how he ever got there or why 

he came as ,i had not telephoned to him1
 ,i shall never understand4 ,i expressed
 my astonishment and told him ,i was    
sorry ,i could not go out with him1 as  
,i had someone coming to see me4 ,i     
promised to telephone to him later4 ,he 
seemed a little disappointed1 said he   
was 8entirement a mon service10 and     
departed4 ,in the dining-room ,i found  
,michael breakfasting and told him1 and 
he got up quickly to see1 but ,i laughed
 and said that naturally ,i had sent him
 away1 before telling anyone he was     
there4 ,michael looked at me with a cold
 look4 ,he is like the others1 one feels
 instinctively that however much they   
may like one as a woman1 they would     
sacrifice one in a minute if it were    
necessary for the cause4  ,at lunch time
 ,h4 ,g4 ,wells arrived from ,petrograd 
with his son2 they are lodged in our    
house4 ,it was a great pleasure to find 
an old friend and to be able to talk of 
things and people familiar to us4 ,he   
was1 as usual1 laughing and extremely   

humorous about the condition of life in 
,petrograd4 ,on his account we were a   
big party for lunch1 and there was an   
effort to make a spread1 but this was   
frustrated by ,michael ,borodin4 ,when  
,i asked for some of the beautiful apple
 cake ,i had seen on the side-table1    
,michael made grimaces at me3 he had    
sent it back to the kitchen4 ,the       
perfect ,communist in him revolted      
against the inequality of ,h4 ,g4 having
 a special cake1 considering that       
neither ,vanderlip nor ,sheridan had had
 one on arrival4 ,the household call me 
,sheridan1 like a man4 ,one has quite   
lost the habit of prefixing ,mr4 or     
,mrs41 in fact one cannot do it1 it     
sounds so absurd and affected4 ,i have  
not yet been honoured to the extent of  
being called ,tovarisch 7,comrade71 but 
some people ball me ,clara ,moretonovna 
7,clare1 daughter of ,moreton74  ,after 
lunch ,i went for a walk with ,michael2 
he had tip-toed out of the room at lunch
 time1 and ,i asked him why4 ,he was not

 very communicative1 and said that he   
hated people collectively and he        
disliked ,h4 ,g41 though for no reason  
that ,i could make out4 ,i sat up far   
into the night4 ,one felt quite         
sleepless with excitement over the      
evening's discussions4   ,,october      
#e,,th4  ,h4 ,g4 had an hour's interview
 with ,lenin4 ,he told me that he was   
impressed by the man1 and liked him4    
,lenin apparently told him all about the
 ,vanderlip business1 the ,kamschatka   
concessions and the ,alliance against   
,japan4 ,this will greatly upset        
,vanderlip1 who did not want the news to
 leave the country until he did4 ,but ,i
 expect ,lenin's indiscretion is the    
indiscretion of purpose4 ,h4 ,g4 talked 
to me at some length about the          
advisability of my going home4 ,he1 too1
 is discouraging about my prospects of  
doing ,lenin or ,trotsky4 ,he says that 
,kameneff has 8let me down0 badly4 ,i   
could only say in ,kameneff's defence   
that he has not 8let me down0 yet4 ,but 

,h4 ,g4 had something else in the back  
of his head that he did not tell4 ,i    
gathered that he thinks there will be   
trouble here in a few weeks4 ,what the  
conditions are in ,petrograd ,i do not  
know1 but here one feels as safe as a   
mountain and as immovable4 ,h4 ,g4 may  
learn a lot of facts about schools and  
factories and things1 but it is only by 
living a life of dull routine and work1 
even of patient inactivity and waiting1 
that one absorbs the atmosphere4        
,inactivity is forced upon me1 ,i have  
to wait4 ,i am waiting neither patiently
 nor calmly it is true1 but all the     
while ,i realise that ,i am gaining     
something1 and that some understanding  
is subconsciously flowing to me4 ,i see 
no danger signals4 ,a winter of hardship
 and sacrifice for these people1 yes1   
but no disorder4 ,the machine is slowly1
 very slowly1 working with more         
competence and freedom4 ,of course one  
dislikes cold baths in cold weather1 and
 bad food1 and all the discomforts to   

which a pampered life has made one      
unaccustomed1 but these need not blight 
one's outlook4 ,they are not necessarily
 indicative of a disruption4  ,after the
 ,ballet 8,sadko10 ,i walked home with  
,michael ,borodin4 ,we had supper       
together of cabbage-soup and tepid rice1
 and talked until #b a4m4 ,michael      
always says that the food is eatable1   
even if it is not4 ,he never complains1 
he just pretends to eat it1 sometimes ,i
 see his pretence4 ,this evening he     
talked to me about my work4 ,he wants me
 to think about a statue interpreting   
the ,soviet idea1 and told me a good    
deal about the ,third ,international1 as
 representing a world brotherhood of    
workers4 ,the plan of the ,third        
,international is very fine3 8,workmen  
of the world unite40 ,if they did unite 
they could hold the peace of the world  
for ever4 ,but unity is hard to attain2 
,i wonder if it is not unattainable4    
,everything that one hears and sees here
 stirs the imagination--my mind is      

seething with allegories with which to  
express them1 but they are so big that  
,i should have to settle for life on the
 side of a mountain1 and hew out my     
allegories from the mountain side4      
,to-night1 in his big ,gothic room1 ,i  
paced back and forth1 my arm through    
,michael's1 talking abstractedly1 until 
his calmness calmed me4 ,he knows that  
,i have been going through a period of  
waiting1 not unmixed with despair and   
anxiety4 ,i understand so little about  
the ,russian temperament1 and hear such 
conflicting reports1 that it is         
difficult to know what to expect4 ,he   
has encouraged and cheered and tolerated
 me4 ,he reminds me sometimes of        
,munthe1#f in his adhesion to his       
convictions1 and his demand that one    
should live up to one's idealism4       
,,october #f,,th4  ,spent the morning   
darning my stockings and reading ,rupert
 ,brooke4 ,i was depressed to the point 
of resignation4 ,it is always blackest  
before dawn3 at #b o'clock the          

,commandant of the house walked in with 
a telephone message3 8,greetings from   
,comrade ,kameneff1 and all is prepared 
for you to go and do ,lenin in his room 
to-morrow1 from #aa till #d o'clock40   
,it was marvellous news4 ,i went        
directly to the ,kremlin1 and with the  
help of someone from the ,foreign       
,office1 got my stands and clay moved   
from my studio to ,lenin's room4 ,i     
happily had him built up1 ready to work 
on as soon as the order should come4    
,,october #g,,th4  ,borodin accompanied 
me to the ,kremlin4 ,on the way he said 
to me3 8,just remember that you are     
going to do the best bit of work to-day 
that you have ever done40 ,i was        
anxious1 rather1 about the conditions of
 the room and the light4  ,we went in by
 a special door1 guarded by a sentry1   
and on the third floor we went through  
several doors and passages1 each        
guarded4 ,as ,i was expected1 the       
sentries had received orders to let me  
pass4 ,finally1 we went through two     

rooms full of women secretaries4 ,the   
last room contained about five women at 
five tables1 and they all looked at me  
curiously1 but they knew my errand4     
,here ,michael handed me over to a      
little hunchback1 ,lenin's private      
secretary1 and left me4 ,she pointed to 
a white baize door1 and ,i went through4
 ,it did not latch1 but merely swung    
behind me4  ,lenin was sitting at his   
desk4 ,he rose and came across the room 
to greet me4 ,he has a genial manner and
 a kindly smile1 which puts one         
instantly at ease4 ,he said that he had 
heard of me from ,kameneff4 ,i          
apologised for having to bother him4 ,he
 laughed and explained that the last    
sculptor had occupied his room for      
weeks1 and that he got so bored with it 
that he had sworn that it never should  
happen again4 ,he asked how long ,i     
needed1 and offered me to-day and       
to-morrow from #aa till #d1 and three or
 four evenings1 if ,i could work by     
electric light4 ,when ,i told him ,i    

worked quickly and should probably not  
require so much1 he said laughingly that
 he was pleased4  ,my stand and things  
were then brought into the room by three
 soldiers1 and ,i established myself on 
the left4 ,it was hard work1 for he was 
lower than the clay and did not revolve1
 nor did he keep still4 ,but the room   
was so peaceful1 and he on the whole    
took so little notice of me1 that ,i    
worked with great calm till #c4de1      
without stopping for rest or food4      
,during that time he had but one        
interview1 but the telephone was of     
great assistance to me4 ,when the low   
buzz accompanied by the lighting up of a
 small electric bulb1 signified a       
telephone call1 his face lost the       
dullness of repose and became animated  
and interesting4 ,he gesticulated to the
 telephone as though it understood4  ,i 
remarked on the comparative stillness of
 his room1 and he laughed4 8,wait till  
there is a political discussion60 he    
said4  ,secretaries came in at intervals

 with letters4 ,he opened them1 signed  
the empty envelope1 and gave it back1 a 
form of receipt ,i suppose4 ,some papers
 were brought him to sign1 and he       
signed1 but whilst looking at something 
else instead of at his signature4  ,i   
asked him why he had women secretaries4 
,he said because all the men were at the
 war1 and that caused us to talk of     
,poland4 ,i understood that peace with  
,poland had been signed yesterday1 but  
he says not1 that forces are at work    
trying to upset the negotiations1 and   
that the position is very grave4        
8,besides10 he said1 8when we have      
settled ,poland1 we have got ,wrangel40 
,i asked if ,wrangel was negligible1 and
 he said that ,wrangel counted quite a  
bit1 which is a different attitude from 
that adopted by the other ,russians ,i  
have met1 who have laughed scornfully at
 the idea of ,wrangel4  ,we talked about
 ,h4 ,g4 ,wells1 and he said that the   
only book of his he had read was 8,joan 
and ,peter10 but that he had not read it

 to the end4 ,he liked the description  
at the beginning of the ,english        
intellectual bourgeois life4 ,he        
admitted that he should have read1 and  
regretted not having read some of the   
earlier fantastic novels about wars in  
the air and the world set free4 ,i am   
told that ,lenin manages to get through 
a good deal of reading4 ,on his desk was
 a volume by ,chiozza ,money4 ,he asked 
me if ,i had had any trouble in getting 
through to his room1 and ,i explained   
that ,borodin had accompanied me4 ,i    
then had the face to suggest that       
,borodin1 being an extremely intelligent
 man who can speak good ,english1 would 
make a good ,ambassador to ,england when
 there is ,peace4 ,lenin looked at me   
with the most amused expression1 his    
eyes seemed to see right through me1 and
 then said3 8,that would please         
,monsieur ,churchill wouldn't it80 ,i   
asked if ,winston was the most hated    
,englishman4 ,he shrugged his shoulders1
 and then added something about         

,churchill being the man with all the   
force of the capitalists behind him4 ,we
 argued about that1 but he did not want 
to hear my opinion1 his own being quite 
unshakable4 ,he talked about ,winston   
being my cousin1 and ,i said rather     
apologetically that ,i could not help   
it1 and informed him that ,i had another
 cousin who was a ,sinn ,feiner4 ,he    
laughed1 and said 8that must be a       
cheerful party when you three get       
together40 ,i suppose it would be       
cheerful1 but we have never all three   
been together6  ,during these four hours
 he never smoked1 and never even drank a
 cup of tea4 ,i have never worked so    
long on end before1 and at #c4de ,i     
could hold out no longer4 ,i was blind  
with weariness and hunger1 and said     
good-bye4 ,he promised to sit on the    
revolving stand to-morrow4 ,if all goes 
well1 ,i think ,i ought to be able to   
finish him4 ,i do hope it is good4 ,i   
think it looks more like him than any of
 the busts ,i have seen yet4 ,he has a  

curious ,slav face1 and looks very ill4 
,when ,i asked for news of ,england1 he 
offered me the three latest 8,daily     
,heralds0 he had1 dated ,september #ba1 
#bb and #bc4 ,i brought them back and we
 all fell upon them1 ,russians and      
,american alike4 ,as for me1 ,i have    
spent a blissful evening reading about  
the ,irish ,rebellion and the ,miners'  
dispute1 as if it were yesterday's news1
 and the ,irene ,munro and ,bamberger   
cases4 ,goodness1 one feels as though   
one had looked through a window and seen
 home on the horizon4  ,how tired ,i    
was2 ,i had eaten nothing since #aj a4m4
 and dinner was not until #i p4m4 ,in   
between ,i ate some of my ,english      
biscuits4   ,,october #h,,th4  ,started 
work again in ,lenin's room4 ,i went by 
myself this time1 and got past all the  
sentries with the pass that ,i had been 
given4 ,i took my kodak with me1        
although ,i had not the necessary kodak 
permission4 ,i put a coat over my arm1  
which hid it4  ,i don't know how ,i got 

through my day4 ,i had to work on him   
from afar4 ,my real chance came when a  
,comrade arrived for an interview1 and  
then for the first time ,lenin sat and  
talked facing the window1 so that ,i was
 able to see his full face and in a good
 light4  ,the ,comrade remained a long  
time1 and conversation was very         
animated4 ,never did ,i see anyone make 
so many faces4 ,lenin laughed and       
frowned1 and looked thoughtful1 sad1 and
 humorous all in turn4 ,his eyebrows    
twitched1 sometimes they went right up1 
and then again they puckered together   
maliciously4  ,i watched these          
expressions1 waited1 hesitated1 and then
 made my selection with a frantic       
rush--it was his screwed-up look4       
,wonderful6 ,no one else has such a     
look1 it is his alone4 ,every now and   
then he seemed to be conscious of my    
presence1 and gave a piercing1          
enigmatical look in my direction4 ,if ,i
 had been a spy pretending not to       
understand ,russian1 ,i wonder whether  

,i should have learnt interesting       
things8 ,the ,comrade1 when he left the 
room1 stopped and looked at my work1 and
 said the only word that ,i understand1 
which is carascho1 it means 8good10 and 
then said something about my having the 
character of the man1 so ,i was glad4   
,after that ,lenin consented to sit on  
the revolving stand4 ,it seemed to amuse
 him very much4 ,he said he never had   
sat so high4 ,when ,i kneeled down to   
look at the glances from below1 his face
 adopted an expression of surprise and  
embarrassment4  ,i laughed and asked3   
8,are you unaccustomed to this attitude 
in woman80 ,at that moment a secretary  
came in1 and ,i cannot think why they   
were both so amused4 ,they talked rapid 
,russian together1 and laughed a good   
deal4  ,when the secretary had gone1 he 
became serious and asked me a few       
questions4 ,did ,i work hard in ,london8
 ,i said it was my life4 ,how many hours
 a day8 ,an average of seven4 ,he made  
no comment on this1 but it seemed to    

satisfy him4 ,until then1 ,i had the    
feeling that1 although he was charming  
to me1 he looked upon me a little       
resentfully as a bourgeoise4 ,i believe 
that he always asks people1 if he does  
not know them1 about their work and     
their origin1 and makes up his mind     
about them accordingly4 ,i showed him   
photographs of some of my busts and also
 of 8,victory40 ,he was emphatic in not 
liking the 8,victory10 his point being  
that ,i had made it too beautiful4  ,i  
protested that the sacrifice involved   
made ,victory beautiful1 but he would   
not agree4 8,that is the fault of       
bourgeois art1 it always beautifies40   
,i looked at him fiercely4 8,do you     
accuse me of bourgeois art80  8,i accuse
 you60 he answered1 then held up the    
photograph of ,dick's bust4 8,i do not  
accuse you of embellishing this1 but ,i 
pray you not to embellish me40  ,he then
 looked at ,winston4 8,is that          
,churchill himself8 ,you have           
embellished him40 ,he seemed to have    

this on the brain4  ,i said3 8,give me a
 message to take back to ,winston40  ,he
 answered3 8,i have already sent him a  
message through the ,delegation1 and he 
answered it not directly1 but through a 
bitter newspaper  ,illustration3        
,,spassky ,,entrance ,,to ,,the         
,,kremlin4  p4 #ii4  article1 in which  
he said ,i was a most horrible creature1
 and that our army was an army of puces4
 ,how you say puces in ,english8 ,you   
know the ,french puces8 ,yes1 that is   
it1 an army of fleas4 ,i did not mind   
what he said2 ,i was glad4 ,it showed   
that my message to him had angered him40
  8,when will ,peace come to ,russia8   
,will a ,general ,election bring it80 ,i
 asked4  ,he said3 8,there is no further
 news of a ,general ,election1 but if   
,lloyd ,george asks for an ,election it 
will be on anti-,bolshevism1 and he may 
win4 ,the ,capitalists1 the ,court1 and 
the ,military1 all are behind him and   
,churchill40  ,i asked him if he were   
not mistaken in his estimate of the     

power and popularity of ,winston1 and   
the importance and influence of the     
,court4  ,he got fiery4 8,it is an      
intellectual bourgeois pose to say that 
the ,king does not count4 ,he counts    
very much4 ,he is the head of the ,army4
 ,he is the bourgeois figurehead1 and he
 represents a great deal1 and ,churchill
 is backed by him40 ,he was so          
insistent1 so assured1 so fierce about  
it1 that ,i gave up the argument4       
,presently1 he said to me3 8,what does  
your husband think of your coming to    
,russia80  ,i replied that my husband   
was killed in the war4  8,in the        
capitalist-imperialist war80  ,i said3  
8,in ,france1 #aiae2 what other war80   
8,ah1 that is true10 he said4 8,we have 
had so many1 the imperialist1 the civil 
war1 and the war for self-defence40  ,we
 then discussed the wonderful spirit of 
self-sacrifice and patriotism with which
 ,england entered upon the war in #aiad1
 and he wanted me to read 8,le ,feu0 and
 8,la ,clart0 of ,barbusse1 in which    

that spirit and its development is so   
wonderfully described4  ,then the       
telephone gave its damnable low buzzing4
 ,he looked at his watch4 ,he had       
promised me fifteen minutes on the      
revolving stand and given me half an    
hour4 ,he got down and went to the      
telephone4 ,it did not matter3 ,i had   
done all ,i could4 ,i had verified my   
measurements1 and they were correct1    
which was a relief1 and so1 it being #d 
o'clock and ,i mighty hungry1 ,i said   
good-bye4  ,he was very pleased1 said ,i
 had worked very quickly1 called in his 
secretary and discussed it with her1    
said it was carascho4 ,i asked him to   
give orders to have it removed to my    
studio1 ,room #ca4 ,two soldiers arrived
 and carried it out4 ,i asked ,lenin for
 his photograph1 which he sent for and  
signed for me4  ,i hurried after the two
 panting soldiers with their load4 ,we  
passed through the rooms of the         
astonished secretaries1 out into the    
corridors1 past the bored and surprised 

sentries1 and got through to the main   
building4 ,two or three times they had  
to pause and deposit 8,lenin0 on the    
floor1 to the interest of the           
passers-by4 ,at last he was safely in   
,room #ca1 and they returned to ,lenin's
 room for the stands4 ,it was a good    
long way1 and they were tired and       
dripping with sweat when their job was  
done4  ,to my intense embarrassment1    
they refused money1 though ,i offered   
them stacks of paper notes4 ,they       
refused very amiably1 but firmly4 ,i    
made signs of imploration and signs of  
secrecy1 but they laughed and just      
pointed to their communist badges1 and  
offered me their cigarettes which were  
precious1 being rationed4  ,at #d       
,kameneff walked in1 very surprised at  
,lenin being finished and already back  
in my room4 ,he had come in from a      
conference next door4 ,he went back and 
fetched in the ,conference2 eight or    
more men came in1 some with interesting 
heads1 others just ordinary-looking     

workmen4  ,they all talked at once4 ,one
 was ,kalinin1 whom ,i had seen in      
,lenin's room at an interview4 ,kalinin 
is the ,president of the ,republic1 and 
is a peasant elected by the peasants4   
,he was charming and promised to sit for
 me1 but is off to the front to-night   
for ten days1 and offered to take me    
with him4 ,he told ,kameneff that as ,i 
worked so rapidly ,i should find some   
interesting heads to do there1          
especially ,general ,budienny4  ,i said 
,i thought it would be wonderful to do  
this work within sound of the guns4     
,kameneff promised to ring me up at #i  
o'clock to tell me if ,i was to start at
 #aj4 ,alas6 ,it turned out to be a     
troop train1 and not possible for a     
woman4   ,,october #i,,th4  ,started off
 in a motor with ,mr4 ,vanderlip and    
someone from the ,foreign ,office4 ,we  
went to a textile factory1 a huge place1
 and pronounced by ,mr4 ,vanderlip to   
have the best and latest machinery1 but 
there were #bdj workers where there had 

been #b1ejj1 and there were acres of    
machinery lying idle1 the reason being  
lack of fuel4 ,mr4 ,vanderlip1 with that
 unfailing ,american 8spread-eagle10    
said that #ej experienced ,american     
workers could have done the work of     
those #bdj4 ,it is true there was a good
 deal of idling going on4 ,this may have
 been due either to lack of sufficient  
work1 or to the ,communist system by    
which each man or woman is as good as   
another1 and there is none to oversee   
the work4 ,but what had been done was   
well done4  ,from there we went to one  
of the big fur stores which before the  
,revolution belonged to a private firm1 
but to-day is the property of the       
,government4 ,there were rooms full of  
huge hampers packed with sable skins for
 export1 and of course1 as ,i was the   
only woman present1 they dangled bunches
 of sable skins before me4 ,now sables  
don't say much to me if they are not    
made up1 but silver foxes are different1
 and they cruelly put round my neck some

 silver foxes4   ,,october #aj,,th4     
,kameneff came at midday to say good-bye
 to me2 he is off to the front to-morrow
 for an indefinite time4 ,he brought    
with him a young man with close-cropped 
hair and clear-cut features1 calling    
himself ,alexandre4 ,kameneff thinks    
,alexandre may be able to take care of  
me during his absence4 ,i certainly need
 someone1 as ,michael ,borodin goes to  
,madrid on ,tuesday1 and then ,i do not 
know what will become of me4 ,kameneff  
discussed with me about the ,government 
buying the ,russian copyright of my     
heads4 ,he then asked me to make a list 
of things ,i wanted1 and that he could  
do for me before he goes4 ,i had several
 wants3 for one thing1 ,i am extremely  
cold4 ,the coat ,i arrived in is only   
cloth--now there is snow on the ground1 
and the river begins to freeze4 ,i have 
to wrap my rug round my shoulders when  
,i go out4 ,the peasants are far better 
off1 they have all appeared in sheepskin
 coats1 the fur they wear inside1 and   

the leather1 which is usually stained   
deep orange or rust colour1 is a very   
decorative exterior4 ,the bourgeois     
women have brought out their former     
remains of splendour1 and although they 
may have only felt or canvas shoes on   
their feet1 and a shawl over their      
heads1 some of them wear coats that one 
would turn round to look at in ,bond    
,street4 ,i headed my list of           
requirements with the request for a     
coat--as well as caviare1 ,trotsky1 and 
a soldier of the ,red ,army whom ,i want
 to model4 ,trotsky is expected back    
from the front in a few days4 ,it is a  
bore that ,kameneff is going away1 but  
,alexandre promised to arrange sittings 
for me4   ,,october #aa,,th4  ,in the   
morning ,i accompanied ,michael ,borodin
 to the headquarters of the ,third      
,international4 ,it is a beautiful      
house1 formerly the ,german ,embassy1   
and where ,mirbach was murdered4  ,i    
came away in a car with ,madame         
,balabanoff1 of whom ,i had often heard4

 ,she is small1 past middle age1 with a 
crumpled-up face1 but intelligent4 ,i   
did not find her any too amiable on our 
way to the ,kremlin1 where she dropped  
me4  ,she told me that it was absurd    
that any bust  ,illustration3 ,,lenin1  
,,from ,a ,,photograph4  p4 #aad4       
,illustration3 ,,bust ,,of ,,lenin4  p4 
#aad4  of ,lenin or any one else should 
be done1 the theory being that the      
cause1 not the individuals1 should      
count4 ,the humblest person who suffers 
privation for the cause is equally as   
important as any of the legislators1 she
 explained1 and proceeded to assure me  
that no picture or bust of herself      
existed1 nor ever should4 ,happily ,i   
had not asked her to sit for me4 ,she   
practically told me that ,i was doing   
,lenin's head to take back to ,england  
to show to the idle curious4 ,i         
corrected her by saying that1 so far as 
the public was concerned1 ,i only wished
 to enable those who had him at present 
represented by a photograph1 to         

substitute a bust4 ,she was equally     
vehement about the photograph4 ,perhaps 
she expects to alter human nature4      
,before ,i got out of the car1 she      
assured me that her tirade was in no way
 personal and would ,i1 please1 not     
misunderstand her4   ,,october #ad,,th4 
,michael ,borodin found me after        
breakfast1 miserably wrapped in my rug1 
shivering with cold and depression1 and 
with tears irrepressibly streaming down 
my face4 ,i had several grievances which
 had been accumulating for some days1   
and at last my patience had come to a   
head4 ,the fact is ,i had heard of a    
courier having arrived yesterday from   
,london1 and no one had taken the       
trouble to find out if there were any   
letters for me4 ,ever since ,i left     
,england on ,september #aath ,i have not
 had one word of news1 nor answers to   
two telegrams that ,kameneff sent for me
 asking after the children4 ,secondly1  
,i had not been given the coat that     
,kameneff had ordered for me1 so it was 

impossible to go out as it was too cold4
  ,michael for the first time seemed    
really moved4 ,he wrapped me round in   
his fur coat1 went off to the garden and
 fetched up a load of wood for me 7,i   
had never known him do such a thing     
before71 and lit my fire himself4 ,then 
he telephoned to the ,foreign ,office4  
,there were no letters for me1 but some 
bundles for ,kameneff4 ,he also got hold
 of ,comrade ,alexandre on the telephone
 to know when ,i was going to have the  
promised coat1 and altogether was very  
helpful4 ,his journey to ,madrid has    
been delayed daily1 but he is to start  
to-morrow4 ,it seems to me that in      
,russia one only knows about ten minutes
 beforehand what one is going to do6    
,they are divinely vague4   ,,october   
#ae,,th4  ,i went to the ,kremlin to    
meet ,comrade ,alexandre there at       
midday3 he was to bring me a soldier as 
a model4 ,not feeling brave enough to go
 and review a platoon and make my own   
selection1 ,i had described exactly what

 ,i wanted3 not the bloodthirsty savage 
,bolshevik of ,english tradition1 but   
the dreamy-eyed young ,slav who knows   
what he is fighting for1 and such as ,i 
passed every day on the parade ground4  
,i waited in my studio impatiently till 
#b o'clock1 and then ,alexandre arrived 
accompanied by a soldier who was        
typically neither ,russian1 nor         
military1 nor intellectual1 nor even    
fine physically4 ,he was small1 white1  
chtif1 and had a waxed moustache4 ,it   
was a bad moment4 ,i tried to hide my   
disappointment and my amusement4 ,i     
missed lunching in order to work on him1
 and began something that was not in the
 least like my model1 but was the       
product of my imagination4 ,at #e ,i    
came home tired and hungry and cold4 ,i 
lay down on my sofa and watched the dusk
 crawl up behind the ,kremlin4 ,at #h4cj
 ,i was called down to the telephone1   
which is in the kitchen4 ,it was        
,borodin speaking from the ,foreign     
,office4 ,he said 8good-bye0 in his     

abrupt manner4 8,this is the right way10
 he said4 8,this is the way it should   
be40 ,the maid was throwing her broom   
around the kitchen1 making as much noise
 as possible1 and a strange man glared  
at me out of the gloom4 ,i found it     
difficult to concentrate my attention4  
,michael knows that ,i do not believe in
 8futures10 but nevertheless we said    
8someday10 and ,i wonder very much if   
that strange ,communist-,revolutionary1 
with his mask-like face and deep voice1 
will ever cross my path again4 ,to-night
 ,i regret him1 but then ,i am lonely   
for the moment--friendless1 and this is 
a place where one needs friends4  ,at #i
 o'clock1 not having eaten since #aj    
a4m41 ,i went downstairs to round-up    
some food4 ,there1 to my surprise1 ,i   
met ,litvinoff1 who had been in ,moscow 
since the day before yesterday4 ,our    
pleasure at seeing each other again was 
mutual and spontaneous4 ,he is coming to
 stay at our house1 and will occupy the 
vacated room of ,borodin4   ,,october   

#af,,th4  ,comrade ,alexandre came to   
see me at #i p4m41 to tell me that he   
could not arrange with ,trotsky for     
sittings4 ,i gathered that ,trotsky had 
been emphatic and brusque in his        
refusal1 but after all1 ,i have done    
,lenin1 and he is the one who counts    
most4 ,i can go back to ,england without
 the head of ,trotsky1 but ,i could not 
have gone without the head of ,lenin4 ,i
 have accomplished what ,i came for1 and
 so to hell with ,trotsky6  ,alexandre  
said he could only stay ten minutes1 but
 he left at midnight4 ,he talked        
,communism the whole time4 ,now ,borodin
 unfurled his ,communist spirit to me   
slowly1 because he knew me1 and to what 
,i belonged1 and he realised that the   
thing hurled at me in a crude mass would
 stagger me4 ,he led me up to it with   
great caution4 ,alexandre1 on the other 
hand1 with no understanding or sympathy1
 took all my inborn prejudices and just 
broke them1 stamped on them1            
metaphorically spat on them1 and gave me

 a big feed of unadulterated ,communism4
 ,he is a fanatic1 and left me          
breathless and wondering4 ,all was well 
until we got to the children part3 he   
said that his wife had to work1 so their
 baby1 who is six weeks old1 has to go  
by day to the ,crche4  8,are you        
satisfied with the care it gets at the  
,crche80 ,i asked him4 ,he shrugged his 
shoulders1 said that collectively they  
could not receive the same attention as 
they would if they were cared for       
individually4 ,he then volunteered the  
information that of course the baby was 
more liable to get ill and even die if  
it was in the ,crche1 but that it was a 
chance1 and after all his wife's life   
was not going to be reduced to feeding1 
washing1 and dressing a baby4 ,that was 
no sort of existence1 and so1 what      
alternative was there except the ,crche8
  ,it was the cold1 dispassionate way in
 which he said it that gave me the      
creeps4  8,what is your wife's work80 ,i
 said4  8,politics1 same as mine10 he   

said4  8,are you fond of your baby80    
8,yes40  8,is your wife fond of it80    
8,yes40  ,i thought to myself that she  
has not had to pray for a baby1 and weep
 because the months went by4 ,she has   
not had to wait1 and wait--it is not    
infinitely precious to her1 her baby4   
,he then counter-questioned me3  8,what 
did you do with your children when you  
became a widow and had no home80  8,my  
parents took them40  8,and if you had   
had no parents who could take them8 ,how
 could you have worked80  ,it is true   
that there must be thousands of women   
who earn their living and have no family
 in the background on whom to plant the 
baby4 ,what happens in a country where  
there is no paternal ,state8 ,in ,russia
 the ,state will clothe1 feed and       
educate them from birth until fourteen  
years of age4 ,they may go to the ,crche
 for the day or permanently4 ,children  
may go to the ,state school for the half
 day1 whole day1 or to board4 ,their    
parents may see them1 or give them up   

for ever1 as they choose1 and there is  
no difference made between the          
legitimate and  ,illustration3          
,,trotsky1 ,,from ,a ,,drawing4  p4     
#abi4  the illegitimate child4          
,moreover1 according to the labour laws1
 no woman may work for eight weeks      
before the baby is born1 nor for eight  
weeks after birth4 ,she is sent away to 
a resthouse in the country1 always of   
course at the ,state's expense4 ,on     
application she is given the necessary  
layette for the new born4 ,it is        
difficult to preserve one's maternal    
sentimentality in the face of this      
,communistic generosity4   ,,october    
#ag,,th4  ,i stayed in bed all day as ,i
 felt ill1 and there was nothing better 
to do4 ,litvinoff came in to see me in  
the afternoon and was surprised that ,i 
had not begun to work on ,trotsky4 ,i   
explained to him that1 through ,comrade 
,alexandre1 ,trotsky had flatly refused 
to let me do him4 ,litvinoff could not  
understand this1 but said he had seen   

,trotsky last night4 ,it was then       
decided that ,litvinoff would see       
,trotsky again during the day1 and      
telephone to me what arrangements he    
could make4 ,he then left me1 to come   
back again in a few minutes bringing    
something preciously in both hands4 ,it 
was a hen's egg4 ,as ,i have not seen   
one since ,i have been in ,moscow1 ,i   
stifled my instinctive aversion to      
accepting valuable presents from men and
 had the egg fried for dinner4          
,,october #ah,,th4  ,trotsky's car came 
for me punctually at #aa4cj a4m4        
7usually the cars that are ordered are  
an hour late1 and people keep their     
appointments two hours late4 ,trotsky   
and ,lenin are1 ,i hear1 the only two   
exceptions to the rule74 ,i made        
,litvinoff come and tell the chauffeur  
that he was first to go to the ,kremlin 
with me to fetch my things4 ,when we got
 to the big round building in the       
,kremlin in which ,i have my studio1 ,i 
took the chauffeur to the pass office   

and explained by signs by showing my own
 pass that ,i required one for the      
chauffeur4 ,this was done4 ,it is       
satisfactory to have arrived at the     
stage when ,i get the pass for someone  
else1 instead of someone else getting it
 for me4 ,kameneff told me the other day
 that ,i walk into the ,kremlin with the
 air of one who belonged to it4         
,trotsky's chauffeur1 myself1 and the   
plaster moulder who was there working1  
carried the things down to the car1 and 
,i was driven to a place some way off1  
the ,war ,ministry1 ,i think4 ,getting  
in was not easy1 as ,i had no pass1 and 
there was an altercation with the       
sentry4 ,i understood the chauffeur     
explaining3 8,yes1 yes1 it's the        
,english sculptor10 but the sentry was  
adamant4 ,he shrugged his shoulders1    
said he didn't care1 and made a blank   
face4 ,i had to wait until a secretary  
came to fetch me4 ,he took me upstairs1 
through two rooms of                    
soldier-secretaries4 ,in the end room   

there was a door guarded by a sentry1   
and next to that door a big writing     
table from which someone telephoned     
through into the next room to know if ,i
 could come in4 ,unlike ,lenin's1 not   
even his secretaries go in to see       
,trotsky without telephoning first for  
permission4 ,it was not without some    
trepidation1 having heard how very      
intractable he is1 and knowing his      
sister1#g that ,i was ushered in--,i and
 my modelling stand and my clay         
together4  ,i had instantly the         
pleasurable sensation of a room that is 
sympathetic1 big1 well-proportioned and 
simple4  ,from behind an enormous       
writing table in one corner near the    
window came forth ,trotsky4 ,he shook   
hands with me welcomingly1 though       
without a smile1 and asked if ,i talked 
,french4  ,he offered courteously to    
assist me in moving my stand into the   
right place1 and even to have his       
mammoth table moved into some other     
position if the light was not right4    

,the light from the two windows was     
certainly very bad1 but although he     
said3 8,move anything and do just       
whatever you like10 there was nothing   
one could do that would help4 ,the room1
 which would have made a beautiful      
ballroom1 loomed large and dark4 ,there 
were huge white columns which got in my 
way and hampered the light4 ,my heart   
sank at the difficulties of the         
situation4 ,i looked at my man1 who was 
bending down1 writing at his desk4      
,impossible to see his face4 ,i looked  
at him and then at my clay1 in despair4 
,then ,i went and knelt in front of the 
writing table opposite him1 with my chin
 on his papers4 ,he looked up from his  
writing and stared back1 a perfectly    
steady1 unabashed stare4 ,his look was a
 solemn1 analytical one1 perhaps mine   
was too4 ,after a few seconds1 realising
 the absurdity of our attitudes1 ,i had 
to laugh1 and said3 8,i hope you don't  
mind being looked at40 8,i don't mind10 
he said4 8,i have my revanche in looking

 at you1 and it is ,i who gain40  ,he   
then ordered a fire to be lit because he
 thought it was cold for me4 ,it was not
 cold1 it was overheated1 but the sound 
and sight of the fire were nice4 ,a     
matronly peasant-woman with a           
handkerchief tied round her head came   
and lit it4 ,he said he liked her       
because she walked softly1 and had a    
musical voice4 ,curious that he should  
admire in another what is so            
characteristic of himself2 his voice is 
unusually melodious4  ,illustration3    
,,nicholas ,,andrev4  ,seeing that he   
was prepared to be amiable1 ,i asked him
 if ,i could bother him with            
measurements4 8,tout ce que vous        
voudrez10 he said1 and pointed out to me
 how unsymmetrical his face is4 ,he     
opened his mouth and snapped his teeth  
to show me that his underjaw is crooked1
 and as he did so he reminded me of a   
snarling wolf4 ,when he talks his face  
lights up and his eyes flash4 ,trotsky's
 eyes are much talked of in ,russia1 and

 he is called 8the wolf40 ,his nose also
 is crooked and looks as though it had  
been broken4 ,if it were straight he    
would have a very fine line from the    
forehead4 ,full-face he is ,mephisto4   
,his eyebrows go up at an angle1 and the
 lower part of his face tapers into a   
pointed and defiant beard4 ,as ,i       
measured him with calipers1 he remarked3
 8,vous me caressez avec des instruments
 d'acier40 ,he talks very rapid1 and    
very fluent ,french1 and could easily be
 mistaken for a ,frenchman4 ,i dragged  
my modelling stand across the room to   
try for a better light on the other     
side4 ,he watched me with a weary look1 
and said3 8,even in clay you make me    
travel1 and ,i am so tired of           
travelling40 ,he explained to me that he
 is not as desperately busy as usual    
because there is ,peace with ,poland1   
and good news from the ,south4 ,i told  
him that ,i had nearly gone to the      
,southern front with ,kalinin1 who      
wanted to take me1 but that ,kameneff   

wouldn't let me go because it was a     
troop train4 ,without hesitating a      
moment he answered3  8,do you want to go
 to the front8 ,you can come with me40  
,he was thoughtful for awhile1 and then 
asked me3 8,are you under the care here 
of our ,foreign ,office80  ,i said ,i   
was not4  8,but who are you here with8  
,who is responsible for you80           
8,kameneff10 ,i said4  8,but ,kameneff  
is at the front40  8,yes40  8,then you  
are alone8 ,h'm1 that is very dangerous 
in a revolutionary country4 ,do you know
 ,karahan1 ,tchicherin's secretary80    
8,yes2 he is living in our house1 so is 
,litvinoff40  8,ah1 ,litvinoff1 ,i will 
ring him up40  ,he did ring him up1 but 
what he said ,i could not understand4   
,litvinoff told me later that ,trotsky  
had asked him if ,i was all right1 and  
if it would be indiscreet or not to show
 me the front4 ,litvinoff gave me a good
 character4  ,at #d o'clock he ordered  
tea1 and had some with me4 ,he talked to
 me about himself1 and of his wanderings

 in exile during the war1 and how1      
finally1 at the outbreak of the         
,revolution1 he sailed on a neutral ship
 from the ,united ,states to return to  
,russia2 how the ,british arrested him  
and took him to a ,canadian             
concentration camp4 ,he was detained a  
few months1 until the ,russian          
,government succeeded in obtaining his  
release4  ,he was particularly incensed 
at the ,british interfering with the    
movements of a man who was not going to 
,britain1 nor from a ,british colony1   
nor by a ,british ship3 8,but ,i had a  
good time in that camp10 he said4       
8,there were a lot of ,german sailors   
there1 and ,i did some propaganda work4 
,by the time ,i left they were all good 
revolutionaries1 and ,i still get       
letters from some of them40  ,at #e ,i  
prepared to leave4 ,he said that ,i     
looked tired4 ,i said ,i was tired from 
battling with my work in such a bad     
light4 ,he suggested trying by electric 
light1 and we agreed on #g o'clock the  

next evening4 ,he sent me home in his   
car4   ,,october #ai,,th4  ,trotsky's   
car came at #f4cj4 ,nicholas ,andrev had
 been having tea with me1 and ,i offered
 to give him a lift1 as he lives        
somewhere near the ,war ,ministry4 ,it  
was snowing hard and there was a driving
 wind1 which lifted up the frozen snow  
and blew it about like white smoke4 ,the
 car had a hood1 but no sides4 ,in the  
,red ,square we punctured4 ,for some    
time we sat patiently watching the      
passers-by falling down on the slippery 
pavement1 and the horse-carts struggling
 up the hill4 ,winter has come very     
suddenly and one month too soon4 ,the   
horses have not yet been shod for the   
slippery roads1 consequently they can   
hardly stand up4 ,this morning ,i       
counted four down all at the same       
moment4 ,in ,london a fallen horse      
attracts a good deal of attention1 and a
 crowd collects1 but here no one even   
turns his head to look4 ,i have been    
much laughed at because ,i stop to      

watch1 but the method of getting the    
horse up amuses me4 ,the driver 7man or 
woman1 as the case may be7 gets behind  
and pushes the cart4 ,the horse1 so weak
 that he has no resisting power1        
impelled forward by the shafts1         
struggles to his feet in spite of       
himself4 ,no unharnessing is necessary4 
,this evening1 when ,i became too cold  
to be interested any longer by the      
passers-by falling in the square1 ,i    
asked the chauffeur if he had nearly    
finished4 ,he answered 8,sichas0 which  
literally translated is 8immediately10  
but in practice means to-morrow1 or next
 week6 ,so ,i pulled up the fur collar  
of my inadequate cloth coat1 put my feet
 up lengthways on the seat1 and let     
,andrev sit on them to keep them warm4  
,i arrived at ,trotsky's at #g4cj4 ,he  
looked at me and then at the clock4 ,i  
explained what had happened4 8,so that  
is the reason of your inexactitude10 he 
said2 an inexactitude which could not in
 the least inconvenience him as he did  

not have to wait for me4 ,he kissed my  
frozen hand1 and put two chairs for me  
by the fire1 one for me and one for my  
feet4 ,when ,i had melted and turned on 
all the lights of the crystal candelabra
 he said3 8,we will have an agreement1  
quite businesslike2 ,i shall come and   
stand by the side of your work for five 
minutes every half hour40 ,of course the
 five minutes got very enlarged1 and we 
talked and worked and lost all track of 
time4 ,when the telephone rang he asked3
 8,have ,i your permission80 ,his       
manners are charming4 ,i said to him3   
8,i cannot get over it1 how amiable and 
courteous you are4 ,i understood you    
were a very disagreeable man4 ,what am  
,i to say to people in ,england when    
they ask me3 #8,what sort of a monster  
is ,trotsky8'0 ,with a mischievous look 
he said3 8,tell them in ,england1 tell  
them----0 7but ,i cannot tell them67 ,i 
said to him3 8,you are not a bit like   
your sister40 ,the shadow of a smile    
crossed his face1 but he did not answer4

  ,i showed him photographs of my work  
and he kept the ones of the 8,victory40 
,among the portraits he liked 8,asquith0
 best1 and said that that one was worked
 with more feeling and care than any of 
the others4 ,he took for granted that   
,asquith must like me1 which is not     
necessarily the case1 and said          
half-laughingly3 8,you have given me an 
idea--if ,asquith comes back into office
 soon 7there is a rumour that he might  
bring in a ,coalition with ,labour1 and 
recognise ,russia7 ,i will hold you as a
 hostage until ,england makes peace with
 us40 ,i laughed3 8,what you are saying 
humorously is what a ,british official  
told me seriously1 only he said it      
propos of ,winston4 ,as a matter of     
fact1 ,i'd be proud if ,i could be of   
any use in the cause of ,peace4 ,but if 
you said you would shoot me1 ,winston   
would only say #8shoot1'0--which is1 to 
my mind1 the right spirit1 and exactly  
the spirit that prevails among the      
,bolsheviks4 ,they would not hesitate to

 shoot me 7some of them have told me so7
 if it were necessary1 even if they     
liked me as a woman4 ,winston is the    
only man ,i know in ,england who is made
 of the stuff that ,bolsheviks are made 
of4 ,he has fight1 force and fanaticism4
  ,towards the end of the evening1 as   
,trotsky said nothing more about the    
project of my going to the front1 ,i    
asked him if he had decided to take me  
or not4 ,he said3 8,it is for you to    
decide if you wish to come--but ,i shall
 not start for three or four days40 ,it 
was getting late and he looked very     
tired4 ,he was standing in front of the 
clay with his back to it1 so that ,i had
 the two profiles exactly in line4 ,his 
eyes were shut and he swayed4 ,for a    
moment ,i feared he was going to faint4 
,one does not think of ,trotsky as a man
 who faints1 but anything may happen to 
a man who works as he does4 ,my thought 
was of my work1 and ,i said to him3 8,do
 not fall backward1 or you fall on my   
work40 ,he answered quickly3 8,je tombe 

toujours en avant60 ,i asked him to     
order the motor1 having realised that   
unless he sends for it ,i have to wait  
outside in the cold or look for it in   
the garage4 ,while the car was coming   
round he sent for a reproduction of a   
portrait of himself by an artist friend 
of his1 to show me that the same        
difficulties that ,i am having with his 
jaw and chin1 were experienced also by  
the draughtsman who only succeeded in   
this1 the last of a great many sketches4
 ,it is evidently one that ,trotsky     
likes1 for it is reproduced in colour in
 almost every office one goes into4 ,i  
told him ,i wanted it and he wrote upon 
it 8,tovarisch10 which means ,comrade   
8,clare ,sheridan10 and signed it4 ,this
 has its effect on the ,bolsheviks who  
have been into my room and seen it4     
,,october #bj,,th4  ,comrade ,alexandre 
telephoned that he would fetch me at #a 
o'clock to go to the fur store4 ,i      
suppose the intense cold had at last    
moved either his pity or his anxiety for

 me4 ,before ,i left ,vanderlip said    
that if there were any choice1 and ,i   
was fool enough not to choose a sable   
coat1 he would never speak to me again4 
,the threat left me unmoved4 ,it is only
 on occasions of necessity1 when we     
exchange valuable presents 7say a new   
tooth brush for a box of pills71 that we
 have an armistice4 ,on the way to the  
fur store ,alexandre picked up another  
man1 unknown but very nice1 with whom ,i
 talked a mixture of ,english and       
,german4 ,we went to one of the biggest 
store-houses in ,moscow1 which1 like all
 the rest1 had been a private firm1 but 
has been requisitioned by the           
,government4 ,it was a cave-like        
building1 dark and stone cold4 ,we went 
up in a cage lift to what seemed to be  
the attic4 ,it was low and long and     
dark1 and an arc-light barely lit up the
 corner4 ,coats hung from the ceiling   
like so many hundred ,bluebeard wives4  
,i took off mine to try on4 ,an old man 
who looked like ,moses and spoke ,german

 showed me the best and told me to make 
my choice4 ,alexandre looked on with a  
grim smile1 and asked if ,i were the    
proverbial woman1 or whether ,i would   
make my choice within reasonable limits 
of time4 ,it was not easy4 ,the coats   
dated back three years1 and some were   
even too old-fashioned for ,moscow4 ,i  
liked a brown ,siberian pony lined with 
ermine1 but the moth had got into the   
pony4 ,i liked a broadtail1 but it was  
thin as cloth2 they offered to have it  
fur-lined for me1 but my need was       
immediate4 ,there was a mink1 but it had
 an old-fashioned flounce4 ,there were  
astrachans1 but everyone in ,moscow has 
astrachan1 it seemed too ordinary4 ,i   
felt bewildered4 ,my attention then     
wandered to a row of shubas3 big        
sleeveless cloaks of velvet1 that wrap  
around one1 and descend to one's feet4  
,there was a dream lined with blue fox1 
and another with white4 ,my friends put 
one round my shoulders1 it was lined    
with sable3 light as a feather1 and warm

 as a nest4 ,i despairingly voiced the  
fact that ,i could not walk about the   
streets of ,moscow in a wine coloured   
velvet and sable cape4 ,they said ,i    
could1 but then they were wrong4 8,i    
look much too bourgeoise1 ,i shall be   
shot60  8,you won't be shot1 and sable  
is good enough for a good worker40 ,i   
showed a sable stole to ,alexandre and  
told him it was the blackest and most   
beautiful bit of sable one could find4  
,he shrugged his shoulders with perfect 
indifference1 and said he knew nothing  
about it4 ,finally ,i walked out in a   
very practical black ,siberian pony     
lined with grey squirrel1 divinely warm1
 though rather heavy1 and ,alexandre    
said to me3 8,now you can say that you  
have shared in the ,government          
distribution of bourgeois property to   
the people40  ,at #g4cj pm4 ,trotsky    
sent his car for me1 but a soldier      
stopped us before we even reached the   
block where the ,war ,ministry is4 ,the 
whole bit of road was being especially  

guarded4 ,the reason for this is that   
foreign papers have announced an        
impending counter-,revolution1 but if   
there is any such plot their warning has
 been given most obligingly in time1 and
 steps have been taken to deal with it4 
,the town is placarded with notices that
 inhabitants must not be out after      
midnight4 ,it gave one just a small     
thrill1 and there have been none so far4
 ,this evening when ,i arrived ,trotsky 
stood by the fire while ,i was warming1 
and ,i asked him for news4 ,he says that
 the ,german workers have voted in      
favour of joining the ,moscow           
,international which is very important4 
8,england is our only real and dangerous
 enemy10 he said4 8,not ,france80 ,i    
asked4 8,no1 ,france is just a noisy1   
hysterical woman1 making scenes3 but    
,england--that is different altogether40
 ,he talked about the persistence of the
 foreign ,press in decrying the         
stability of the ,soviet ,government4   
,all the governments of ,europe1 he     

said1 had undergone changes in the last 
three years1 he pointed to ,france1     
,italy1 the ,central ,powers1 ,turkey1  
and finally ,poland4 ,the ,british      
,government was holding out longer than 
any other1 but that was pretty rocky1   
and its ministers were constantly       
changing their posts4 ,the ,soviet      
,government was the oldest government in
 ,europe1 and the only one in which the 
ministers retained their posts and      
displayed any unity1 and this is spite  
of every effort on the part of the world
 to dislodge them4  ,he then busied     
himself at his table with papers4 ,i    
worked for an hour and we never spoke1  
but he never disregarded me as ,lenin   
did4 ,i could walk round ,lenin and look
 at him from all sides1 he remained     
absorbed in his reading1 and apparently 
oblivious of my presence4 ,whenever ,i  
go near ,trotsky he looks up from his   
work sharply with piercing eyes and ,i  
forget which part of his face ,i was    
intent upon4 ,towards the end of the    

evening1 when even my tiptoe stalking   
had aroused him1 he asked me3 8,avez    
vous besoin de moi40 ,i replied yes1 as 
always4 ,he came and stood by the clay1 
but he is very critical1 and watches it 
and me all the time1 and makes me       
nervous4 ,i undid and did over again a  
good deal4 ,the room was hot1 and the   
clay got dry1 it was uphill work4 ,never
 have ,i done anyone so difficult4 ,he  
is subtle and irregular4 ,at one moment 
the bust looked like ,scipio ,africanus1
 and ,i could see he was dissatisfied1  
then when ,i had altered it and asked   
him what he thought he stood for some   
time in silence with a suppressed smile 
before he let himself go3 8,it looks    
like a ,french bon bourgeois1 who       
admires the woman who is doing him1 but 
he has no connection with ,communism40  
,happily the peasant woman came in with 
tea1 and ,i sat down wearily with my    
head in my hands1 utterly dispirited and
 discouraged4 ,only the fierce          
determination to make it come right     

roused me and ,i went at it again4 ,he  
said1 as he watched me3 8,when your     
teeth are clenched and you are fighting 
with your work1 vous tes encore femme40 
,i asked him to take off his pince-nez1 
as they hampered me4 ,he hates doing    
this1 he says he feels dsarm and        
absolutely lost without them4 ,it seemed
 akin to physical pain taking them      
off--they have become part of him and   
the loss of them completely changes his 
individuality4 ,it is a pity1 as they   
rather spoil an otherwise classical     
head4  ,while he was standing there     
helplessly with half-closed eyes1 he    
remarked on my name being               
,illustration3 ,,trotsky ,,at ,,the     
,,front4  spelt in the same way as that 
of the playwright4 ,i explained that ,i 
had married a direct descendant4 ,he was
 interested and said1 8,the ,school for 
,scandal0 and 8,the ,rivals10 had been  
translated and were occasionally acted  
here in ,russian4 ,he then got on to    
,shakespeare4 ,i wish ,i could recall   

the words in which he described his     
appreciation1 exclaiming finally3 8,if  
,england had never produced anything    
else1 she would have justified her      
existence40 ,we disagreed as to ,byron  
and ,shelley4 ,he1 like others ,i have  
met here1 preferred ,byron1 and insisted
 in spite of my assertions to the       
contrary that ,byron was the greater    
,revolutionary of the two4 ,he was      
surprised that ,i loved ,swinburne4 ,he 
said he would have thought me too much  
of this world to love the spirituality  
of ,swinburne4 ,i said3 8,one has one's 
dreams40 ,he gave a sigh4 8,yes10 he    
said1 8we all have our dreams----0      
,when1 at the end of the evening1 ,i was
 dissatisfied with my work and feeling  
suicidal ,i asked him3  8,may ,i come   
back and work to-morrow night80  8,and  
the night after10 he answered1 and added
 laughing1 that he would rig the place  
up as a studio for me1 and that ,i could
 do ,general ,kameneff after ,i'd       
finished him4 ,general ,kameneff 7who is

 no relation to ,leo ,kameneff7 is the  
,commander-in-,chief1 and was a very    
distinguished ,tsarist officer4 ,i hear 
that he strongly warned the ,war        
,ministry against advancing too far     
towards ,warsaw1 and foretold the dbcle 
that has since been fulfilled4 ,but he  
was not listened to1 perhaps because of 
his ,tsarist tradition4 ,probably his   
opinion is more respected now4 ,trotsky 
asked me if ,i would like to do         
,tchicherin1 and ,i explained that never
 before had ,i worked under such        
difficult conditions1 and that although 
,i had made efforts for ,lenin and      
himself ,i did not feel like doing it   
again for anyone else4 ,he was quite    
indignant and said3 8,what difficulty   
have you had in working here80 ,true it 
was a perfectly good room and excellent 
light1 but ,tchicherin would not move   
out of his ,commissariat and that would 
mean new conditions to adapt oneself to1
 nor does anyone understand the         
difficulties of moving the finished work

 back to the ,kremlin4 ,trotsky swept my
 excuses aside3 8,of course you must do 
,tchicherin--it is almost a diplomatic  
obligation on his part to be done40  ,it
 was a quarter to midnight when ,i      
prepared to stop work and looked        
desperately at the clock3 8,what about  
this order--how am ,i to be home        
,illustration3 ,,bust ,,of ,,trotsky4   
p4 #adg4  at midnight80 ,i asked4 ,he   
said1 8,i will take you myself40 ,at    
about half after midnight we left4 ,a   
man in uniform joined us and sat next to
 the driver4 ,he had in his hands a very
 big leather holster4 ,we started off by
 going in the opposite direction to the 
right one1 and ,i had to try and        
describe the way to them4 ,we turned    
back1 and crossing the bridge we were   
stopped by five soldiers4 ,the man with 
the holster had to show our papers by   
the light of the car lamp4 ,it delayed  
us several minutes4 ,i said to ,trotsky3
 8,put your head out of the window and  
say who you are40 8,taisez-vous10 said  

,trotsky peremptorily4 ,i sat rebuked   
and silent until we were able to pass on
 unrecognised4 ,he explained afterwards 
that he did not want them to hear a     
woman's voice in the car talking        
,english4 ,i was talking ,french as we  
always do together1 and did not see that
 it mattered to anyone in this country  
whether there is a woman in a           
,government car or not--but ,i did not  
argue4   ,,october #ba,,st4  ,i did very
 little during the day1 so as to be     
fresh for my night's work1 though ,i    
went to see my friend the               
plaster-moulder who is working for so   
many thousand roubles a day in my       
studio4 ,he is making piece moulds of   
the busts1 so that ,i can leave         
duplicates when ,i go4 ,i asked ,andrev 
why he had to be paid so much4 ,andrev  
explained that he is the only moulder in
 ,moscow1 so he can ask what he likes3  
8,he says he will work for this and not 
for that10 and ,andrev held a thousand  
rouble note in one hand and a hundred   

rouble note in the other4 8,but it is   
all the same really1 only it is a       
different pattern10 and he laughed4     
,certainly money has no value here1 and 
no meaning4 ,at #h o'clock ,i went back 
again to the ,war ,commissariat in      
,trotsky's car4 ,on arrival ,i told him 
that ,i had got to get this work right  
to-night1 and that he was not to be     
critical and look at it all the time and
 make me nervous4  ,he was surprised2   
said that he had no idea that he had    
that effect on me1 that all he wanted   
was to help3 8,je veux travailler cela  
avec vous40 ,his criticism1 he said1 was
 caused by intense interest1 and that   
for nothing in the world would he be    
discouraging4 ,he promised1 however1 to 
be good1 and offer no opinion until     
asked4 ,it was a better night for work2 
,i felt calmer and it went pretty well4 
,the worst difficulties were surmounted4
 ,trotsky stood for me in a good light  
and dictated to his stenographer4 ,that 
was excellent4 ,his face was animated   

and his attention occupied4 ,i got all  
one side of his face done4 ,then came   
the question of the other side4 ,he     
laughed1 suggested another dictation1   
offered to stand in another position1   
and called back his stenographer4 ,when 
we were alone again he came and stood   
close beside the clay and we talked     
while ,i went on working4 ,we talked a  
little about myself4  ,he said ,i should
 remain in ,russia awhile longer1 and do
 some big work1 something like my       
8,victory40 ,an emaciated and exhausted 
figure1 but still fighting2 that is the 
allegory of the ,soviet4  ,i answered   
him that ,i could get no news of my     
children1 and therefore must go back4   
8,i must return to my own world1 to my  
own conventional people whose first     
thought is always for what the world    
will think4 ,russia with its absence of 
hypocrisy and pose1 ,russia with its big
 ideas1 has spoilt me for my own world40
  8,ah6 that is what you say now1 but   
when you are away----0 and he hesitated4

  ,then suddenly turning on me1 with    
clenched teeth and fire in his eyes1 he 
shook a threatening finger in my face3  
8,if1 when you get back to ,england1    
vous nous calomniez as the rest have1 ,i
 tell you that ,i will come to ,england 
et je vous----0 ,he did not say what he 
would do1 but there was murder in his   
face4  ,i smiled3 8,that is all right4  
,now ,i know how to get you to          
,england40 ,then 7to fall in with his   
mood73 8,how can ,i go back and abuse   
the hospitality and the chivalrous      
treatment ,i have received80  ,he said3 
8,it is not abusing1 but there are ways 
of criticising even without abuse4 ,it  
is easy enough here to be blinded par   
les salets et les souffrances and to see
 no further than that1 and people are   
apt to forget that there is no birth    
without suffering and horror1 and       
,russia is in the throes of a great     
accouchement40  ,he talks well1 he is   
full of imagery and his voice is        
beautiful4  ,we paused for tea1 and ,i  

talked to him of things ,i had heard    
about the schools4 ,in reply he said he 
had heard no adverse reports of the     
co-education scheme for boys and girls4 
,there might be an individual case of   
failure1 though even of such a case he  
had not heard4 ,he then compared the    
present system with that of boy colleges
 of his own day1 and he said that his   
own boy of fourteen had nicer ideas     
about girls1 and far less cynicism1 than
 he had at the same age4 ,the boy       
apparently confides in his mother1 so he
 knows something about it4  ,to-night he
 sent me home alone in his car2 he      
excused himself1 saying it was the only 
time it was possible for him to walk4   
,he kissed my dirty hand and said that  
he would always preserve a memory of    
8une femme avec une aurole de cheveux et
 des mains trs sales40   ,,october      
#bb,,nd4  ,finished6  ,i worked until   
half after midnight4 ,i think it is a   
success4 ,he said so2 but it has been   
such a struggle4  ,about half way       

through the evening1 the electric lights
 went out4 ,a secretary lit four        
candles4 ,on the telephone ,trotsky     
learnt that the lights had gone out all 
over the town4  ,i asked him hopefully  
if it could possibly be the outburst of 
a counter-,revolution4  ,he laughed and 
asked if that was what ,i wanted4  ,i   
said that ,i thought it would break the 
monotony4  ,until the lights went on ,i 
read the leading article on ,bolshevism 
in ,the ,times of1 ,i think1 ,october   
#dth4 ,he had several ,english papers on
 his desk and we read together with much
 amusement that he 7,trotsky7 had been  
wounded1 and that ,general ,budienny had
 been court-martialled4 ,there were even
 descriptions of barricades in the      
streets of ,moscow3 someone must have   
mistaken the stacks of fuel that the    
tramcars are bringing in and unloading  
every day4 ,when the lights went on ,i  
worked hectically until half after      
midnight1 with the desperation of       
knowing it was the last sitting4  ,at   

midnight he was standing by the side of 
the work1 rather tired and very still   
and patient1 when suddenly ,i had the   
thought of asking him to undo his collar
 for me4 ,he unbuttoned his tunic and   
the shirt underneath1 and laid bare a   
splendid neck and chest4 ,i worked like 
a fury for half an hour which was all   
too short4 ,i tried to convey into my   
clay some of his energy and vitality4 ,i
 worked with the desperation that always
 accompanies last moments4 ,when ,i left
 he said to me3 8,eh bien6 on ira       
ensemble au front80 ,but something tells
 me that we shall never meet again4 ,i  
feel that it is almost worth while to   
preserve the impression of our hours of 
individual work1 collaboration and      
quietude1 silently guarded by a sentry  
with fixed bayonet outside the door4 ,to
 let in the light of day would be to    
spoil it4  ,there is a ,french saying3  
8,on n'est pas toujours n dans son      
pays40 ,it equally follows that all are 
not born in their rightful sphere4      

,trotsky is one of these4 ,at one time1 
in his youth1 what was he8 ,a ,russian  
exile in a journalist's office4 ,even   
then ,i am told he was witty1 but with  
the wit of bitterness4 ,now he has come 
into his own and has unconsciously      
developed a new individuality4 ,he has  
the manner and ease of a man born to a  
great position2 he has become a         
statesman1 a ruler1 a leader4 ,but if   
,trotsky were not ,trotsky1 and the     
world had never heard of him1 one would 
still appreciate his very brilliant     
mind4 ,the reason ,i have found him so  
much more difficult to do than ,i       
expected1 is on account of his triple   
personality4 ,he is the cultured1       
well-read man1 he is the vituperative   
fiery politician1 and he can be the     
mischievous laughing school-boy with a  
dimple in his cheek4 ,all these three ,i
 have seen in turn1 and have had to     
converge them into clay interpretation4 
,,october #bc,,rd4  ,i went in the      
morning to fetch away the bust and take 

it to my room in the ,kremlin4 ,i went  
at #aa1 before ,trotsky had got there4  
,his motor was at my disposal and three 
men to convey the precious work away4   
,these are the moments that take years  
off my life6 ,it arrived1 however1      
undamaged1 which was little short of a  
triumph4 ,when my plaster-moulder saw it
 he exclaimed with pleasure4 ,apparently
 it is very like1 and everyone is       
pleased4 ,as ,trotsky is adored1 ,i take
 it as a great compliment to my work    
that it is considered good enough4  ,the
 relief of having accomplished him as   
well as ,lenin is indescribable4 ,i wake
 up in the night and wonder if it is    
true or a dream4 ,now ,i am completely  
happy4 ,i have achieved my purpose4 ,i  
have proved myself to these people1 and 
they in return have proved their belief 
in me by their trouble and              
courteousness4 ,i am no longer harassed 
by anxieties and fears4 ,those who      
discouraged me in the early days treat  
me now with respect1 consideration and  

even admiration4 ,i am happy1 ,i am     
happy6 ,i sing when ,i wake in the      
morning1 ,i sing when ,i wash in cold   
water1 ,i come down to my breakfast of  
black bread with a lighter step6  ,i    
breakfast every morning with ,litvinoff4
 ,by coming down at #aa the others have 
finished1 so we can talk4 ,if ,rothstein
 is present the conversation becomes    
,russian4 ,if ,vanderlip is there he    
talks all the time about ,america 7he   
usually leaves the room with boredom if 
conversation is on any other subject74  
,it is the fashion in ,europe to vilify 
,litvinoff and to regard him as a       
terribly dangerous man4 ,i suppose that 
he is an astute diplomatist4 ,whatever  
he is1 he is better than he pretends1   
and though he gets no credit for it1 he 
has done a good deal for the ,british   
prisoners here4 ,he has unfortunately an
 abrupt manner1 and a way of refusing to
 do things by pretending that they are  
no concern of his1 but straightway he   
will go off and do a kindness to the    

very people who are damning him for     
having refused4 ,to me he is charming1  
frank1 outspoken1 and always ready to   
help4   ,,october #bd,,th4  ,we have all
 been very much saddened by the death   
from typhus of ,john ,reed1 the         
,american ,communist4 ,everyone liked   
him and his wife1 ,louise ,bryant1 the  
,war ,correspondent4 ,she is quite young
 and had only recently joined him4 ,he  
had been here two years1 and ,mrs4      
,reed1 unable to obtain a passport1     
finally came in through ,murmansk4      
,everything possible was done for him1  
but of course there are no medicaments  
here3 the hospitals are cruelly short of
 necessities4 ,he should not have died1 
but he was one of those young1 strong   
men1 impatient of illness1 and in the   
early stages he would not take care of  
himself4  ,i attended his funeral4 ,it  
is the first funeral without a religious
 service that ,i have ever seen4 ,it did
 not seem to strike anyone else as      
peculiar1 but it was to me4 ,his coffin 

stood for some days in the ,trades'     
,union ,hall1 the walls of which are    
covered with huge revolutionary cartoons
 in marvellously bright decorative      
colouring4 ,we all assembled in that    
hall4 ,the coffin stood on a das and was
 covered with flowers4 ,as a bit of     
staging it was very effective1 but ,i   
saw1 when they were being carried out1  
that most of the wreaths were made of   
tin flowers painted4 ,i suppose they do 
service for each ,revolutionary burial4 
,there was a great crowd1 but people    
talked very low4 ,i noticed a           
,christ-like man with long1 fair curly  
hair1 and a fair beard and clear blue   
eyes2 he was quite young4 ,i asked who  
he was4 ,no one seemed to know4 8,an    
artist of sorts10 someone suggested4    
,not all the people with wonderful heads
 are wonderful people4 ,mr4 ,rothstein  
and ,i followed the procession to the   
grave1 accompanied by a band playing a  
,funeral ,march that ,i had never heard 
before4 ,whenever that ,funeral ,march  

struck up 7and it had a tedious         
refrain71 everyone uncovered2 it seemed 
to be the only thing they uncovered for4
 ,we passed across the ,place de la     
,rvolution1 and through the sacred gate 
to the ,red ,square4 ,he was buried     
under the ,kremlin wall next to all the 
,revolutionaries his ,comrades4 ,as a   
background to his grave was a large ,red
 banner nailed upon the wall with the   
letters in gold3 8,the leaders die1 but 
the cause lives on40  ,when ,i was first
 told that this was the burying ground  
of the ,revolutionaries ,i looked in    
vain for graves1 and ,i saw only a      
quarter of a mile or so of green grassy 
bank4 ,there was not a memorial1 a      
headstone or a sign1 not even an        
individual mound4 ,the ,communist ideal 
seemed to have been realised at last3   
the ,equality1 unattainable in life1 the
 ,equality for which ,christ died1 had  
been realisable only in death4  ,a large
 crowd assembled for ,john ,reed's      
burial and the occasion was one for     

speeches4 ,bucharin and ,madame         
,kolontai both spoke4 ,there were       
speeches in ,english1 ,french1 ,german  
and ,russian4 ,it took a very long time1
 and a mixture of rain and snow was     
falling4 ,although the poor widow       
fainted1 her friends did not take her   
away4 ,it was extremely painful to see  
this white-faced1 unconscious woman     
lying back on the supporting arm of a   
,foreign ,office official1 more         
interested in the speeches than in the  
human agony4  ,the faces of the crowd   
around betrayed neither sympathy nor    
interest1 they looked on unmoved4 ,i    
could not get to her1 as ,i was outside 
the ring of soldiers who stood guard    
nearly shoulder to shoulder4 ,i marvel  
continuously at the blank faces of the  
,russian people4 ,in ,france or ,italy  
one knows that in moments of sorrow the 
people are deeply moved1 their arms go  
round one1 and their sympathy is        
overwhelming4 ,they cry with our        
sorrows1 they laugh with our joys4 ,but 

,russia seems numb4 ,i wonder if it has 
always been so or whether the people    
have lived through years of such horror 
that they have become insensible to     
pain4  ,happily no salute was fired4    
,the last time the machine guns rattled 
at a burial ,i heard them in my studio1 
which is just the other side of the     
wall4 ,on that occasion the old porter  
who takes care of me at the ,kremlin    
told me that his wife nearly died of    
heart failure--she thought the 8,whites0
 had come4 ,probably it affects other   
jumpy people in the same way4  ,here the
 terror of the ,whites is as great as   
is1 on the other side1 the terror of the
 ,reds6 ,the poor people do not want any
 more fighting4 ,i think they are quite 
indifferent as to who rules them1 they  
want only ,peace4  ,when ,i got back ,i 
found ,maxim ,litvinoff1 who also had   
been at the funeral and had looked for  
me in the crowd in vain4 ,he says that  
he has arranged with ,tchicherin that ,i
 am to begin him to-morrow4 ,i have not 

asked to do him1 but if it is all       
arranged for me ,i am only too          
delighted4 ,but ,i do not look forward  
to working at the ,commissariat for     
,foreign ,affairs4 ,it is the ,hotel    
,metropole1 in the ,place de la         
,rvolution1 and although it will not be 
necessary to have a pass1 and there will
 be none of the sentry difficulties as  
with ,lenin and ,trotsky1 the           
drain-smells are such that one climbs   
the stairs two at a time holding one's  
breath6 ,there are bits of the ,kremlin 
that are enough to kill the healthiest  
person1 but the ,metropole baffles all  
description4 ,inside the offices it is  
all right1 but the double windows       
everywhere are hermetically sealed for  
the winter1 and ,i wonder that people do
 not die like flies4 ,litvinoff tells me
 that a new building is almost ready and
 that the next time ,i come to ,moscow  
there will be a beautiful ,commissariat4
 ,it is curious that in ,moscow1 which  
was one of the richest cities in the    

world and contained more rich merchants 
than almost any other1 something more   
was not done for sanitation4 ,last year 
owing to lack of fuel most of the pipes 
in the town burst4 ,no wonder there was 
an epidemic of typhus4 ,this year things
 are better organised1 and if there is  
,peace on the two fronts1 conditions may
 be enormously improved4  ,this evening 
,comrade ,alexandre took me to a play4  
,he gave me my choice1 and ,i decided   
that 8,la ,fille de ,madame ,angot10    
being an ,operetta1 would be more       
amusing that 8,twelfth ,night0 in       
,russian4 ,it was at the ,thtre des     
,arts1 where ,tchekov's plays used to be
 produced4 ,tchekov is no longer acted2 
he wrote for a class that is temporarily
 extinct2 the workers and peasants would
 not understand it4 ,afterwards1 coming 
home in the motor1 ,i noticed a         
tremendous glare in the sky1 it         
obviously meant a fire1 and ,i insisted 
on going to look for it4 ,if the fire1  
when found1 was disappointing1 at least 

the search for it was interesting1 and  
revealed to me the unsuspected size of  
,moscow4 ,we drove through miles of     
deserted streets1 where we met only a   
few soldiers wearily trudging through   
the mud4 ,we shouted to them3           
8,tovarischi1 where is the fire80 ,there
 is something very pleasant in hailing a
 complete stranger as a ,comrade--one   
feels at once a link of friendship4 ,the
 ,tovarischi1 however1 only waved       
vaguely onwards1 which is the only      
instruction one ever gets in ,moscow    
when one asks the way4 ,on we bumped and
 jolted and skidded4 ,there was an icy  
wind blowing and we had no rug4 ,we     
seemed to cross two rivers1 or they may 
have been river branches4 ,everything   
looked very beautiful in the twilight4  
,there was no parapet to the river edge1
 only some tortuous tree-stems4         
,finally we arrived upon the scene to   
find that some building in a big        
clearing had burnt to the foundations1  
and was still burning brightly4 ,having 

got out of the car and waded through the
 mud1 ,i could not get anywhere near1   
and abandoned the quest4 ,a party of men
 returning from the fire1 surprised at  
our having a motor1 asked ,alexandre for
 his identification papers4 ,happily he 
is a member of the ,communist party4 ,on
 the way home he was anxious lest the   
bad road should cause some damage to the
 car4 ,if it broke down1 he explained   
cheerfully1 there was no other car to be
 had in these parts1 and no telephone to
 call one up1 and it was too far to walk
 home4 ,it was snowing and we got back  
at #a a4m4 after losing the way many    
times4  ,in the hall ,i was met by      
,litvinoff1 who1 while ,i was having    
supper1 told me that he had had a       
message from ,trotsky who asked if ,i   
would be ready to go off to the front on
 the morrow at #d p4m4 ,i had to make up
 my mind4 ,we discussed the plan in all 
its aspects4 ,litvinoff was splendid1 he
 advised me neither way1 he merely said 
he would make all arrangements if ,i    

decided to go4 ,i knew that going would 
involve cold and discomfort and ,i      
guessed that ,i should not really see   
much of the front1 and as the only woman
 ,i should be most conspicuous4         
,yet--what a temptation4 ,finally about 
#c a4m4 for various reasons ,i decided  
to preserve ,trotsky as a memory4 ,then 
for the first time ,litvinoff said3 8,i 
am so glad40   ,,october #be,,th4       
,litvinoff was most kind and helped me  
to move my clay and stand from the      
,kremlin to the ,foreign ,office4 ,i    
would have liked a snapshot of our      
procession--the moulder carrying the    
clay block1 ,litvinoff1 in his fur-lined
 coat and sealskin cap armed with the   
modelling stand1 and ,i following with  
the bucket of clay and cloths4  ,on     
arrival at the ,foreign ,office we were 
greeted by the ,chinese ,general in     
uniform and all his staff4 ,litvinoff1  
who is likely to be the ,soviet         
representative in ,china1 was rather    
taken aback by this rencontre but the   

,chinese were enormously amused4        
,later1 at #i p4m4 ,i returned with     
,litvinoff to ,tchicherin's office to   
begin work4 ,while ,litvinoff went      
inside ,i waited in the secretary's     
room1 and while ,i was waiting a man    
hurried through the office4 ,he was a   
little man in brown trousers and a coat 
which did not match4 ,with small steps  
he shuffled hastily along4 ,it might    
have been a night watchman2 it was      
,tchicherin4  ,still ,i waited1 and the 
length of my wait began to annoy me1 and
 then ,i began to feel that             
,illustration3 ,,sentry ,,outside ,,the 
,,guest-,,house4  p4 #afa4  something   
was wrong4 ,presently ,litvinoff called 
me1 but ,i got no further than the      
doorway4  ,there ,tchicherin confronted 
me1 and in hurried and confused tones   
said3 8,to-night it is impossible1      
quite1 quite impossible10 and           
disappeared4 ,he had not even allowed me
 to cross his threshold4  ,litvinoff and
 ,i looked at each other and walked out4

 ,we went upstairs to ,litvinoff's      
office4 ,he was obviously upset and at a
 perfect loss to explain or excuse4 ,i  
sat and talked until the car arrived to 
take me home1 and from what ,litvinoff  
said and from what ,i had seen in that  
flash1 ,i have learned something of the 
personality of ,tchicherin4  ,he is an  
abnormal man1 living month after month  
in that ,foreign ,office with closed    
windows and never going out4 ,he insists
 on having a bedroom there1 as he says  
he has not time to go home to sleep4 ,he
 works all night1 and if a telegram     
comes in the day he has to be awakened4 
,his nights are days and his days are   
not entirely nights4 ,he has no idea of 
time and does not realise that other    
people live differently4 ,he will ring  
up a ,comrade on the telephone at #c or 
#d o'clock in the morning for the most  
trivial information4 ,he does all his   
own work1 and will not ring for a       
secretary or messenger1 but runs himself
 with papers to other departments4 ,he  

lives on his nerves and the slightest   
thing throws him off his pivot4  ,i had 
been told he was an angel and a saint4  
,what ,i found was a fluttering and     
agitated bird4 ,the joke is that he is  
looked upon as the 8gentleman0 of the   
party4 ,he is by origin well-born and   
propertied4 ,his property he gave away  
to the people4 ,to-day was a            
particularly unfortunate one for me4 ,it
 happened to be the first day for months
 that ,tchicherin had gone out4 ,he went
 to the dentist4 ,someone watching him  
from an office window described to me   
the phenomenon of ,tchicherin in the    
street4 ,he did not go in a car1 but on 
foot4 ,he stood at the corner of the    
kerb1 looked at the street hesitatingly1
 much as one might look into a river on 
a cold day before plunging in4 ,when he 
did finally decide to get across1 he got
 half way and then ran back4 ,what with 
the traffic1 the fresh air1 and the     
dentist1 it must have been a thoroughly 
unnerving day for him1 and no wonder he 

received me so ill6   ,,october #bf,,th4
  ,tchicherin sent me a message through 
,litvinoff1 inviting me to start at #d  
o'clock in the morning1 as that is his  
quietest time1 but it is unfortunately  
my quietest time too4   ,,october       
#bi,,th4  ,i have had four inactive     
days1 but the sense of work completed is
 a great relief4 ,i am prepared to enjoy
 the holiday4 ,i have drifted about with
 ,andrev1 and in his spare moments with 
,maxim ,litvinoff4 ,on his way to work  
at midday he first takes me in his car  
to the place ,i want to photograph4 ,at 
#e o'clock he comes back and has tea    
with me1 brings his portfolio and works 
in my room till #g4 ,then he starts out 
again to meetings4 ,i have interesting  
talks with him and learn a good deal4   
,he smiles tolerantly when my bourgeois 
breeding breaks out4 ,but he says ,i am 
getting better4 ,even ,rothstein has    
grown to treat me more seriously4       
,to-day my fourth day of rest began to  
rouse in me a fresh energy4 ,i long to  

fill in this interim of waiting with    
some new work4 ,i have offered to do    
,litvinoff1 and he suggests that ,i     
should work in his office2 this is so   
difficult that ,i have asked him to let 
me do it at home1 in odd moments when he
 is free4 ,between the two1 nothing gets
 decided4 ,meanwhile the sentries at the
 ,kremlin gate have fired my enthusiasm4
 ,they are magnificent1 wrapped around  
in goatskin coats with collars that     
envelop their entire heads4 ,my efforts 
to get such an one to sit to me have at 
last been successful4  ,andrev and ,i   
wandered from building to building this 
morning to accomplish this purpose4     
,andrev is great fun to explore with2   
with a 8,je m'en fiche0 air1 he opens   
all the doors he comes to1 and walks in 
everywhere4 ,i see all sorts of places  
that ,i would never dare to investigate 
alone4  ,we walked boldly into the      
barracks2 ,i doubt if a woman had been  
in before1 but ,i did not attract much  
attention4 ,a few soldiers gathered     

round us to hear our explanation to the 
officer in charge4 ,one or two smiled1  
the rest looked at me blankly4 ,what    
,andrev said of course ,i do not know1  
except that ,i understood the officer to
 ask if we were ,bolshevik4 ,apparently 
if we were not ,bolsheviks we must get  
permission from the ,commandant of the  
,kremlin before a soldier could be sent 
to me4 ,off we went in search of the    
,commandant4 ,oh6 the dark passages and 
the stuffy offices2 they smelt as if the
 air belonged to bygone ages4 ,i am sure
 no fresh air ever leaks in4 ,from there
 to the military store to obtain an     
overcoat4 ,they lent me a new one2 it   
was an enormous goatskin4 ,more smells6 
,no living goat ever could have smelt   
stronger4 ,andrev1 staggering under the 
weight and the unwieldy size1 carried it
 to my studio to await the soldier's    
arrival to-morrow4 ,the room reeks of   
it4 ,my idea is a statuette--only in    
,russia could one find such a           
silhouette4  ,it was still early and ,i 

did not want to go home1 so we wandered 
to the ,palace1 opened more doors1 and  
after a little conversation with some   
men in an office1 one of them took us to
 see the ,museum and the ,armoury4 ,this
 was a great revelation1 and ,i         
regretted not having seen it before so  
that ,i could have had time to go often 
again4 ,our guide spoke ,french1 and    
knew all the things intimately4 ,he     
talked of them with pride and almost    
with love4 ,everything was beautifully  
arranged4 ,there were glass cases full  
of ,romanoff crowns1 jewel studded1 and 
sceptres and harness and trappings set  
with precious stones4 ,one really got   
quite dazzled by them4 ,the armour is   
very fine1 ,i believe1 but that ,i know 
nothing about and it does not interest  
me4 ,what ,i loved were the old coaches4
 ,there was one given by ,queen         
,elizabeth of ,england1 the most        
beautiful bit of painted carving ,i have
 ever seen4 ,the ,french ,louis ,,xv and
 ,,xvi coaches looked vulgar next to it4

 ,there was a room full of silver and   
gold cups4 ,i believe that this contains
 the finest collection of ,english      
,charles ,,ii silver in the world4      
,moreover so many cups had been         
collected recently from the churches    
that there were long wooden trestles    
covered with them1 and they were in     
process of being catalogued4 ,in the    
last room were exhibited all the old    
costumes1 church vestments and beautiful
 brocades4 ,the ,coronation robe of     
,catherine the ,great was there1 and    
others that had been wedding and        
,coronation robes of various other      
,tsarinas4 ,it is wonderful that these  
things should have remained unhurt      
throughout the ,revolution4  ,it is     
acutely cold1 and the river is          
completely frozen over4 ,children skate 
and toboggan everywhere4 ,the side walks
 have become slides1 and are very       
difficult for the pedestrian who is not 
equipped with skates4 ,children here    
seem to be born able to skate4 ,they    

strap skates on to any kind of footgear1
 even on to big1 loose felt boots1 and  
they skate everywhere at breakneck      
speed4  ,it is a relief not to see      
people wearily carrying their bundles   
over their shoulders4 ,now everyone     
seems to have put his burden on to a    
little wooden sledge1 and grown-up      
people look like big children pulling   
toys on the ends of strings4 ,i have    
borrowed clothes and ,jaegers from my   
friends4 ,one's nostrils freeze and the 
breath crystallises on one's fur collar4
  ,the town with its white pall is      
indescribably beautiful4 ,at dusk the   
sky is darkened by a flight of          
grey-backed crows4 ,they settle on the  
bare tree branches with the effect of   
great black leaves silhoueted against a 
coloured evening sky4  ,at #h4cj this   
evening1 ,kameneff unexpectedly walked  
into my room4 ,it is nearly three weeks 
since he went to the front4 ,i had      
almost forgotten about him4 ,he was in  
tremendous spirits1 much thinner1 quite 

unshaved1 and with his hair long4 ,he   
was interesting about the spirit of the 
,red ,army4 ,he says they are           
wonderfully enthusiastic1 and anxious to
 finish ,wrangel and have peace4 ,it is 
just possible there may be a big coup   
which would obviate a winter campaign4  
,more than ever do ,i regret not having 
gone with ,trotsky4 ,they met at        
,kharkof1 and ,i could have come back   
with ,kameneff4   ,,october #ca,,st4  ,i
 went to the ,kremlin1 and tried to work
 on my soldier who came to sit to me1   
but the clay gets so cold and my fingers
 so numbed1 ,i find ,i cannot do        
anything4 ,i built up such a big fire in
 the stove to keep myself warm1 that the
 unfortunate soldier in the overcoat got
 nearly apoplectic4 ,moreover1 the hot  
goatskin smells stronger and stronger4  
,even the soldier seems to be affected  
by it4 ,we cannot open the windows and  
let the cold in4 ,these conditions make 
work very discouraging4 ,andrev fetched 
me at #ab4cj1 and we went to the house  

of ,shucken1 who was a cotton-king1 and 
who had the biggest collection of modern
 ,french pictures in existence4 ,it is  
now taken over by the ,government1 and  
open on several days a week to the      
public4 ,madame ,shucken is1 ,i believe1
 allowed to occupy her rooms in the     
house4 ,there is no such modern         
collection in ,france4 ,there were      
represented all the artists ,i have been
 wanting to see4 ,the first room was    
full of ,claude ,monet1 and there were  
three little ,whistlers in the doorway  
leading to a room full of ,dgas1        
,renoir1 and ,czanne4  ,to-day for the  
first time ,i can appreciate ,mattisse2 
there were twenty-one in a room4 ,next  
to this was another room containing     
twenty ,goguins4 ,in a further gallery  
there was a motley collection1 including
 a couple of ,brangwyns1 which held     
their own well4 ,there was also the big 
,william ,morris tapestry of            
,burne-,jones' 8,nativity10 which one   
could hardly bear to look at after the  

modern ,french4  ,coming out1 we passed 
by a doorway in the snow1 rudely painted
 in blotches of green and yellow2 a     
sentry stood by1 and ,i pointed it out  
to ,andrev who agreed that it was pure  
,mattisse4 ,one has but to borrow the   
eyes of another and the same old world  
appears quite different4 ,i remember    
that when ,i had been in ,florence a few
 days1 everyone looked like a painted   
,madonna4  ,this evening ,litvinoff gave
 a banquet for the departing ,chinese   
,general4 ,it was a great event4 ,the   
dishes as they appeared were like things
 we have seen in dreams4 ,the party     
consisted1 besides the ,general and     
three of his staff1 of two interpreters 
7one being the professor of ,chinese at 
the ,university of ,petrograd71         
,tchicherin1 ,karahan1 his secretary1   
,mrs4 ,karahan1 ,vanderlip1 ,rothstein  
and myself4  ,we were invited for #i    
p4m41 but it was half-past eleven before
 we began1 true ,russian fashion1 two   
hours and a half late4 ,it was for      

,tchicherin we had to wait3 he has no   
idea of time4  ,the hours preceding were
 rather tedious1 as conversation through
 an interpreter is not a success4 ,one  
,chinaman talked ,french4 ,he was the   
,president of the ,union of ,chinese    
,workers4  ,karahan is ,armenian2 he    
speaks some strange ,eastern language1  
but nothing that ,i understand4 ,his    
wife can only talk ,russian4 ,they live 
in our house1 but one seldom sees them  
as they have their meals in their own   
apartments4 ,his face is very beautiful1
 like carved ivory4 ,he is a great      
mystery2 he lives in a better way than  
anyone else1 smokes the best cigars1    
drives to his office in a limousine1 and
 looks like the most prosperous         
gentleman in ,europe in his astrachan   
coat and hat4 ,he must do some very good
 work for the ,government1 or he would  
not be tolerated4 ,i believe ,lenin once
 asked what was the use of him1 and he  
was told that ,karahan was most         
important1 for was he not the only man  

amongst them who could wear evening     
clothes8 ,mrs4 ,karahan was on the stage
 and is the prettiest woman ,i have seen
 in ,moscow4  ,at dinner ,i sat between 
the ,president of the ,union of ,chinese
 ,workers and ,litvinoff1 who did host  
extremely well1 and was clever in       
placing us all4 ,he created so many     
places of honour that everyone was      
gratified4 ,he put ,tchicherin at the   
head of the table1 so that the ,general 
and ,vanderlip on either side of him    
felt that they were guests of honour4   
,he put me on one side of him and ,mrs4 
,karahan at the end of the table        
opposite ,tchicherin4  ,i ate so many   
excellent hors d'uvres1 thinking ,i was 
never going to eat again1 and that      
nothing else was coming1 that ,i had    
little room left for what followed4 ,it 
was a joy even to look at a fresh salad 
and a cauliflower4  ,our old manservant 
was awfully happy4 ,he had on a collar  
and tie and was washed1 and had         
organised everything beautifully4 ,he   

had got out the ,svres salt-cellars1 and
 the cut-glass decanters1 and ,i suppose
 he just felt that he was back in the   
old pre-,revolution days and serving his
 master's friends4 ,he took intense     
pride in it all4  ,we had our jokes with
 him as he went by4 ,handing me a dish  
of buf  la mode1 he said3 8,magnifique60
 ,litvinoff was reprimanded by him for  
using his knife for his vegetables1 and 
was told that he would not get another4 
,when the apple dumplings came round ,i 
was done4 ,i said to the old man3       
8,zafter0 7to-morrow74 ,i do hope we    
shall get some remains4 ,i asked        
,litvinoff where all the food had come  
from4 ,he explained to me that there is 
some food to be had1 but that the best  
is sent to the hospitals and the        
children4  ,then followed speeches4     
,anything more deplorable to listen to  
without understanding than ,russian     
being translated into ,chinese and vice 
vers is hard to imagine4 ,tchicherin    
spoke for quite a long time4 ,the       

,chinese ,general's face was immovable4 
,after the ,professor had translated1   
the ,general replied with much the same 
sort of face4  ,after dinner we         
adjourned to the ,karahans' big rooms   
opposite4 ,tchicherin was evidently     
embarrassed at meeting me again4 ,i had 
no feeling on the subject1 and merely   
laughed4  ,i said jokingly1 8,comrade   
,tchicherin1 you have treated me very   
badly40  ,he was again quite flustered4 
,litvinoff told me  propos of           
,tchicherin that he had advised him to  
get someone extra into his office to    
help to get his papers straight4        
,tchicherin agreed1 and said that he had
 already heard of a young man who would 
do very well because 8he works during   
the day1 so that he is free at night40  
,litvinoff asked when the man should    
sleep2 ,tchicherin looked surprised1 he 
had forgotten about that4   ,,november  
#b,,nd4  ,felt ill4 ,symptoms of        
abdominal typhus4 ,panic on the part of 
my friends4 ,they say they do not want  

to lay my body under the ,kremlin wall4 
,if they do1 ,i have told them ,i don't 
mind speeches1 but ,i would like a      
prayer4 ,the answer to that was3 8,are  
you really croyante80  8,well10 ,i said1
 8there are two children praying every  
night that ,i may return safe and soon1 
and the thought of that gives me a      
certain security40  8,what1 you teach   
your children to pray80  8,but surely   
they must have something to guide them  
as they start life80  8,you should teach
 them reality1 and not fantasy40  8,it  
is not fantasy to believe in a ,divine  
power40  8,you should believe only in   
your own power40  ,that is a            
conversation ,i have had as a result of 
my slight indisposition4 ,it was a      
conversation that confirms the general  
idea ,i have met in others since ,i have
 been here4 ,i know these men are       
idealists and selfless4 ,i did not know 
these qualities could go hand in hand   
with atheism4  ,on this point1          
,litvinoff corrected me4 ,he did not    

even want to be regarded as an idealist4
 ,that was too unpractical4 8,we are    
idealistic materialists10 he said4 ,to  
prove their tolerance of religious      
thought1 the churches are all open4 ,but
 to enter the sacred gateway which leads
 to the ,red ,square it was necessary1  
in pre-,revolution days1 for men to pass
 uncovered4 ,a tablet has now been      
inserted in the wall engraved with the  
inscription1 8,religion is the opiate of
 the people40 ,hardly ever have ,i      
passed that by without having it pointed
 out to me with great pride4 ,i never   
quite understood the spirit of it4  ,as 
for the people1 they seem to disregard  
it1 to judge by the many who cross      
themselves as they pass4 ,the shrine    
seems to be always full of devotees1 who
 pause to pray4 ,the religious feeling  
of the people will not easily be        
obliterated and1 after all1 they need   
all the comfort and hope they can get1  
even if the intellectuals do not4  ,my  
stay in ,russia is nearing its end4     

,already ,i see my departure in the near
 distance4 ,people at home will think ,i
 am a ,bolshevik1 on account of my      
associations1 but ,i am much too humble 
to pretend that ,i understand anything  
about it4  ,the more ,i hear1 the       
clearer it seems to me that economics   
are the basis of all these arguments1   
and when it is a question of political  
economy something happens to my mind1   
just as it used to when ,i was a child  
and had to learn arithmetic4 ,a         
,bolshevik who can be defeated by       
argument is not worthy of the name4     
,therefore ,i am not a ,bolshevik4  ,but
 ,i have tried to understand the spirit 
of ,communism and it interests me       
overwhelmingly4 ,there are little       
incidents ,i like to recall that in no  
way lessen my love of the people4 ,for  
example1 when the weather began to get  
cold1 before ,borodin went away1 being  
unable to explain in ,russian what ,i   
wanted1 ,i went myself to the back      
garden to fetch an armload of logs for  

my fire4  ,i had to make a long journey 
through the kitchen1 down the corridor  
and finally through the drawing-room4 ,i
 have never minded carrying my own wood1
 but ,i did think that one of the two   
men--,borodin who was telephoning1 or   
,boris1 who was idling in a ,louis ,,xvi
 chair as ,i passed through the         
drawing-room1 might have opened the     
doors for me4  ,because they did not ,i 
most unforgivably lost my temper1 and   
said ,i was glad that ,i was an ,english
 woman and not a ,russian man4 ,the     
effect of my attack was different on    
each of them4  ,boris said1 8,but it is 
quite right you should carry your own   
wood4 ,communism means that each should 
help himself40  ,i replied that that was
 nothing new1 that self-help was the    
oldest deep-rooted feeling in the world1
 and that if ,communism wanted to be    
original1 it must teach the doctrine of 
helping one another4  ,borodin followed 
me to my room in a state of apology and 
distress4 ,he brought me two apples and 

a cigarette1 and told me that if ,i     
peeled the birch bark off the logs1 it  
made an excellent substitute for        
kindling4 ,with his advice he did much  
to help me light my fire4 ,i have never 
quite made out in my own mind if they   
were typically ,russian or typically    
,communist4 ,i am still wondering4  ,i  
was much laughed at once because ,i made
 ,vanderlip in the street shoulder a    
woman's burden and carry it for her to  
her house4 ,she was a frail well-dressed
 woman1 obviously exhausted by a long   
walk over cobblestones1 and was utterly 
incompetent to carry the bundle         
containing her rations4 ,i would have   
taken it for her myself if ,i had been  
alone1 but as ,vanderlip was            
champion-in-chief of the frail and the  
well-dressed1 ,i thought he might as    
well do it4 ,litvinoff was amused when  
he heard about it1 and said that one    
might really find a good deal of work to
 do in ,moscow on those lines4          
,vanderlip has told me with great       

concern that a weak little bourgeoise   
friend of his1 once rich1 but now a     
stenographer1 has received a paper      
ordering her to enlist her services     
among those who are to shovel the street
 clear of snow in front of their doors4 
8,terrible10 he said4  8,why1 terrible80
 ,i asked4  8,terrible that a woman1    
well-bred and unused to manual labour1  
should be called upon to shovel snow40  
8,but10 ,i argued1 8she had better food 
and care when young than the working    
classes1 and ought1 therefore1 to be    
physically stronger and more able to do 
this work than many another40 7,i       
thought of some of my friends in        
,england who made most efficient railway
 porters during the strike a year ago47 
,i said that ,i should take a pride if  
,i were a ,russian bourgeoise in showing
 people here that ,i could do as good a 
day's work as anyone else1 and that ,i  
was not just useless and helpless as    
they imagined4  ,vanderlip disagreed4   
,he said 7and ,i wonder if it is the    

,american point of view7 that women     
ought not to work at all1 they ought to 
be worked for4  ,it was quite useless to
 talk to him about co-operation or the  
economic independence of women4         
,besides1 it was not about women1 it was
 about ,communism that ,i wanted to     
talk4  ,how long and how rambling this  
is as the result of no occupation and an
 enforced stay within doors6 ,it is     
useless to write letters home1 and this 
is a sort of unburdening4 ,i often      
wonder about my family--whether they are
 anxious about me 7knowing nothing of   
the peaceful truth71 or whether they are
 too disapproving to be anxious4  ,i    
love the bedrock of things here1 and the
 vital energy4 ,if ,i had no children1  
,i should remain and work4 ,there may be
 no food for the body1 but there is     
plenty of food for the soul1 and ,i     
would rather live in discomfort in an   
atmosphere of gigantic effort1 than in  
luxury among the purposeless4 ,i find ,i
 no longer dream of home1 and have grown

 used to conditions which at first      
seemed hard4 ,i am thankful for the     
peace which ,i once mistook for         
dullness1 and appreciate the absence of 
all the pretty tyrannies of civilised   
life4 ,my mode of living suits me very  
well4 ,i am glad not to have to take any
 part in the management of a house4 ,i  
prefer bad food than to be consulted    
about it4 ,what the housemaid breaks is 
not mine1 nor any concern of mine4      
,there are no boredoms such as gas      
bills1 taxes1 rent and rates1 nor       
,income ,tax returns4 ,i never have to  
sign a cheque1 nor to go out with a     
purse4 ,the obliteration of all social  
life is a boon4 ,there are no           
invitations by telephone to accept1     
refuse1 or make decisions about4 ,there 
is no perplexity about the choice of    
apparel1 nor letters by post that have  
to be answered4 ,there is leisure to    
read1 leisure to think1 leisure to      
observe4 ,the big ideas1 wide horizons  
and destruction of all the conventions  

have taken hold of me4 ,of course ,i    
realise that1 as a guest of the         
,government1 ,i am judging things from a
 personal point of view1 and not the    
point of view of the ,russian people4   
7,few of us are big enough to be purely 
impersonal47 ,i like living in this way4
 ,it may seem a strange taste to those  
people who have the sense of possession1
 the collectors' instinct1 or the love  
of home4 ,i have none of these2 so long 
as ,i have a place to work in1 and      
plenty of work to do1 and leisure in    
which to think about it1 ,i ask little  
more4  ,my ear has accustomed itself to 
the language of ,communism1 ,i have     
forgotten the ,english of my own world4 
,i do not mean that ,i am a ,communist1 
nor that ,i think it is a practical     
theory1 perhaps it is not1 but it seems 
to me1 nevertheless1 that the ,russian  
people get gratis a good many           
privileges1 such as education1 lodging1 
food1 railways1 theatres1 even postage1 
and a standard wage thrown in4 ,if the  

absence of prosperity is marked1 the    
absence of poverty is remarkable4 ,the  
people's sufferings are chiefly caused  
by lack of food1 fuel and clothing4     
,this is not the fault of the           
,government4 ,the ,soviet system does   
not do it to spite them1 or because it  
enjoys their discomfiture4 ,only peace  
with the world can ameliorate their     
sufferings1 and ,russia is not at war   
with the world1 the world is at war with
 ,russia4 ,why am ,i happy here1 shut   
off from all ,i belong to8 ,what is     
there about this country that has always
 made everyone fall under its spell8 ,i 
have been wondering4 ,my mind conjures  
up ,english life and ,english           
conditions1 and makes comparisons4 ,why 
are these people1 who have less         
education1 so much more cultured than we
 are8 ,the galleries of ,london are     
empty4 ,in the ,british ,museum one     
meets an occasional ,german student4    
,here the galleries and museums are full
 of working people4 ,london provides    

revues and plays of humiliating         
mediocrity1 which the educated classes  
enjoy and applaud4 ,here the masses     
crowd to see ,shakespeare4 ,at ,covent  
,garden it is the gallery that cares for
 music1 and the boxes are full of weary 
fashion1 which arrives late and talks   
all the time4 ,here the houses are      
overcrowded with workers and peasants   
who listen to the most classical operas4
 ,have they only gone as someone might  
with a new sense of possession to       
inspect a property they have suddenly   
inherited8 ,or have they a true love of 
the beautiful and a real power of       
discrimination8 ,these are the questions
 ,i ask myself4 ,civilisation has put on
 so many garments that one has trouble  
in getting down to reality4 ,one needs  
to throw off civilisation and to begin  
anew1 and begin better1 and all that is 
required is just courage4 ,what ,lenin  
thinks about nations applies to         
individuals4 ,before reconstruction can 
take place there must be a revolution to

 obliterate everything in one that      
existed before4 ,i am appalled by the   
realisation of my upbringing and the    
futile view-point instilled into me by  
an obsolete class tradition4 ,time is   
the most valuable material in the world1
 and there at least we all start        
equally1 but ,i was taught to scatter   
mine thoughtlessly1 as though it were   
infinite4 ,now for the first time ,i    
feel morally and mentally free1 and yet 
they say there is no freedom here4 ,if a
 paper pass or an identification card   
hampers one's freedom1 then it is true4 
,there may be restrictions to the       
individual1 and if ,i were a ,russian   
subject ,i might not be allowed to leave
 the country1 but ,i seem to have been  
obliged to leave ,england rather        
clandestinely4  ,freedom is an illusion1
 there really is not any in the world   
except the freedom one creates          
intellectually for oneself4  ,my work is
 ended1 but ,i am loth to go4 ,i love   
this place and all the people in it4 ,i 

love the people ,i have met1 and the    
people who pass by me in the street4 ,i 
love the atmosphere laden with          
melancholy1 with sacrifice1 with        
tragedy4 ,i am inspired by this ,nation1
 purified by ,fire4 ,i admire the       
dignity of their suffering and the      
courage of their belief4  ,i should like
 to live among them for ever1 or else   
work for them outside1 work and fight   
for the ,peace that will heal their     
wounds4   ,,november #e,,th4  ,a message
 has arrived at third hand from         
,kalinin1 offering to sit to me4 ,he    
promised to a long time ago before he   
went to the front4 ,he got back from the
 front on ,october #cjth1 with          
,kameneff1 and had he given me the      
chance then there would have been plenty
 of time4 ,now everything is settled for
 me to go to-morrow with ,professor     
,lomonosoff in his special train4 ,i am 
very disappointed1 ,kalinin has a head  
that interests me4 ,i have wanted to do 
a ,russian peasant type1 and he is one4 

,but if ,i do not get away in           
,lomonosoff's train ,i may delay a long 
time4 ,england seems so very far away1  
and the children will think ,i have     
forgotten them4 ,perhaps if ,i could    
work without my fingers getting frozen  
,i would stop and do him1 and do        
,litvinoff too4 ,but ,i have made a     
failure of my soldier1 and it is not    
encouraging4 ,an appointment was made   
for me with ,kalinin at #a o'clock to   
see him in his office4 ,litvinoff kindly
 took me there4 ,it was in some building
 facing the ,kremlin4 ,we went in and   
after some searching and inquiry1 found 
the outer rooms of his office4 ,there   
seemed to be two or three of these1 and 
they were full of people sitting on     
benches round the wall4 ,some looked    
miserable1 and were curled up in a heap 
with shawls over their heads1 others    
were sleeping in corners1 or huddled up 
by the stove4 ,they spat on the floor1  
smoked and were perfectly silent4 ,these
 were all people who came with a        

grievance to lay before their           
,president4 ,litvinoff1 when he went in1
 asked whether it was ,kalinin's        
office--a nod and a grunt assented that 
it was4 ,litvinoff1 who is impatient1   
went from room to room1 but we could    
find no trace of ,kalinin4              
,illustration3 ,,litvinoff ,,at         
,,moscow4  ,finally he opened a door    
that proved to be the private office1   
and a short haired girl secretary looked
 up and said ,kalinin might return in   
half an hour4 ,so he might1 but with an 
experience of ,russian official         
appointments1 it seemed likely that he  
might not appear for a couple of hours4 
,we left messages and retreated4 ,on our
 way out someone1 rousing himself from a
 corner1 asked whether ,kalinin was     
really in his room or not4 ,perhaps they
 thought we were privileged people1     
while they were kept waiting2 ,i was    
rather glad that we could say he was not
 there4 ,i came away with a melancholy  
impression of the place1 but ,kalinin1  

with his kindly face1 must be the best  
sort of man to whom the people can tell 
their troubles4  ,we then drove to the  
statue of ,dostoievsky1 which is a      
beautiful bit of work in granite and    
which ,i wanted to photograph4 ,in the  
same square there is another granite    
statue by the same artist1 which is     
usually known as 8,the ,thinker40 ,it   
is1 if anything1 better than the        
,dostoievsky4  ,from there ,i went to   
the ,kremlin to see how the packing of  
my heads was progressing4 ,i was        
surprised to find that the wooden cases 
had been delivered1 owing1 no doubt1 to 
the combined efforts of ,kameneff1      
,litvinoff1 ,andrev1 and my kind        
,comrade ,ynachidse1 from whom all      
blessings flow4 ,moreover the heads were
 packed1 so that there was nothing for  
me to do4 ,i said good-bye very sadly to
 my nice moulder1 whom ,i like so much4 
,he is intelligent1 well-mannered1 and  
efficient4 ,he bent down and kissed my  
hand with the simplicity and dignity of 

a prince4 ,i gave him a woollen jersey1 
as he feels the cold1 and with all his  
thousands of roubles that he earns he   
cannot buy such a thing4 ,i gave one    
last look round the grim room to which  
,i have become attached1 and1 with a    
lump in my throat1 departed down the    
long stone passage1 through which my    
footsteps re-echoed for the last time4  
,then ,i crossed the courtyard and went 
to lunch at the ,kremlin table d'hte4   
,this table d'hte1 which is the         
,communist restaurant reserved for all  
the ,commissars and workers in the      
,kremlin1 was unusually full to-day4 ,i 
was lucky to get my place4 ,lunarcharsky
 sat opposite me4 ,he has just returned 
to ,moscow and ,i regretted there was no
 one present who could introduce us4    
,my neighbours observed me reading an   
,english guide-book to the ,kremlin1 and
 attempted odd bits of conversation1 but
 their ,english completely broke down4  
,it is a great loss not being able to   
understand a word of ,russian1 as the   

general conversation at the long table  
was very animated and must have been    
interesting4  ,illustration3 ,,statue   
,,of ,,dostoievsky4  p4 #aha4           
,illustration3 ,,statue 8,,the          
,,thinker40  p4 #aha4  ,the interest for
 me was in the faces of the men         
themselves1 who were of the most varied 
type it would be possible to collect4   
,one could not say they were typically  
,russian or typical of any race or of   
any particular character1 and yet there 
was some invisible link that bound all  
these men together in one common        
thought4  ,after lunch ,andrev fetched  
me1 and an official showed us all over  
the ,tsar's palace4 ,there were         
exquisite small rooms with vaulted      
ceilings and frescoed walls1 from which 
it was evident that the stage scenery in
 the ,russian operas had been copied4   
,there were still traces of red bunting 
and appeals to the workers of the world 
to unite in the colossal room1          
over-decorated with gold1 which was the 

,throne ,room of the ,romanoffs1 and in 
which the ,third ,international had its 
last meeting4  ,the modern apartments in
 the new wing are bad architecture and  
in bad taste1 but everything is left    
undisturbed4 ,even the photographs of   
the ,tsar's ,coronation are still       
hanging in their frames in some of the  
rooms4 ,the ,royal ,family scarcely came
 to ,moscow1 so that the place must have
 always had an uninhabited feeling4 ,one
 did not feel the ghosts of former times
 as in some of the older parts of the   
building4  ,my last evening was spent   
with ,andrev1 ,litvinoff and ,kameneff1 
who came and sat in my room4 ,kameneff  
brought me a sheepskin hat1 such as ,i  
had seen at the ,sukharefski market and 
wanted so much1 also the #ajj ,i had    
entrusted to his care when we started1  
which ,i have never had occasion to     
spend4 ,he then told me that my         
departure was most ill-timed4 ,to-morrow
 is the eve of the ,anniversary of the  
,revolution4 ,there are going to be     

great celebrations4 ,a big meeting will 
be held at the ,opera ,house1 at which  
,lenin and ,trotsky are going to speak4 
,it is only on very rare occasions that 
,lenin appears in public1 and it would  
be interesting to hear him4 ,the meeting
 is called for #d o'clock1 but it will  
be three or four hours late1 and my     
train leaves at #h4 ,if only ,lomonosoff
 would delay his train ,i could attend4 
,the next day1 on the #gth1 there will  
be a ball1 and on the #hth a banquet at 
our house for the ,foreign ,office4     
,moreover1 the ,entente papers promise a
 coup d'tat for the #gth and ,litvinoff 
suggested that ,i should wait and 8see  
the show40 ,but ,i know by experience   
that ,i should only wait in vain4 ,when 
,i was alone with ,kameneff he said to  
me3 8,well1 did ,i keep my promises80 ,i
 told him that everything had been      
fulfilled1 and had exceeded even my     
expectations4 ,i told him ,i was        
overwhelmed by the kindness ,i had      
received 8considering ,i am an          

,illustration3 ,,the ,,sukharefski      
,,market4  p4 #ahd4  enemy              
,englishwoman40 ,he would not listen to 
any words of appreciation1 he smiled in 
his genial1 kindly way3 8,of course we  
were glad to receive you1 and to have   
you among us1 une femme artiste1 what   
did it matter to us1 your nationality1  
or your relations4 ,there is only one   
thing1 que nous ne pouvons pas          
supporter10 and for the first time in   
all the months ,i have known him1 a hard
 look passed over his face1 and he set  
his teeth3 8,the only thing we cannot   
stand c'est l'espionage10 and the way he
 said it gave me a shiver down my spine4
 ,it was only a passing shadow1 and the 
next moment he was telling me that he   
really regarded me as a woman of courage
 for coming just on his word1 adding    
that when he saw me on the departure    
platform 8with two small handbags1 ,i   
knew in that moment that you were not   
any ordinary woman60 ,we looked back on 
our ,london days and laughingly         

discussed the first sitting when he     
invited me to come to ,moscow4 ,i told  
him 8,i did not believe that you were   
serious when you asked me10 and he said1
 8neither did ,i believe you were       
serious when you accepted40 ,he then    
proceeded to outline for me exactly what
 the effect of my ,moscow visit would   
have on my friends1 on my family1 in the
 ,press1 and on my career4 ,his accuracy
 remains to be seen4   ,,november       
#f,,th4  ,off at last--what a hectic    
day4 ,litvinoff telephoned to me in the 
morning from the ,commissariat to say   
that my big wooden cases 7my coffins ,i 
call them1 they are the same shape7 were
 going to be conveyed from my studio to 
the station1 and that ,i need not       
concern myself about them4 ,it was not  
until midday that ,i learnt for certain 
that ,professor ,lomonosoff was going to
 start to-night4 ,in ,russia one makes  
no plans1 things happen when they       
happen6 ,with a rashness that nearly    
proved reckless1 ,i distributed my few  

belongings among my friends4 ,to a lady 
doctor-friend of ,andrev who had been   
nice to me1 ,i left all my stockings1 a 
box of soap1 a skirt1 a jersey and my   
cloth overcoat4 ,to the maids in the    
house1 my shoes and goloshes1 workbag1  
jersey1 fur-lined dressing jacket1 pair 
of gloves1 and hat4 ,to ,rothstein1 as a
 parting gift1 my hot-water bottle and  
medicine case4 ,i started on my journey 
in the clothes ,i stood up in4 ,the     
maids1 to my intense embarrassment1     
kissed my hands and nearly wept4 ,i     
nearly kissed them in return4 ,i started
 off with ,litvinoff1 and ,rothstein    
came to the front door to see the last  
of me4 ,he overwhelmed me with          
compliments3 8,you have been a brick1   
you have played up splendidly1 you have 
never complained40 ,i tried to explain  
that ,i hadn't played up1 and that ,i   
had not been anything except very happy4
 ,i might have added that living        
,communistically had proved to me that  
one must either love or hate the people 

one sees every day for any length of    
time4 ,hate may be tempered into        
dislike1 and ,love may be more          
appropriately termed friendship or      
affection1 but it was certainly         
affection that ,i had grown to feel for 
,rothstein4 ,he seemed somehow to belong
 to our environment1 we should have     
missed him if he hadn't been there4     
,just occasionally he said things about 
,england that roused opposition in me4  
,i feel about ,england as most people do
 about their relations1 that ,i may     
abuse my own1 but no one else may4 ,i   
realised1 when ,i got to know him       
better1 that his attitude was not so    
much one of hostility to ,england as of 
intense pride in ,russia1 and so ,i     
forgave him4 ,during my first days in   
,moscow1 ,rothstein unfailingly         
cross-questioned me at supper as to how 
,i had spent my day1 where ,i had       
lunched1 whom ,i had seen1 and what time
 ,i had come home4 ,at last ,i said to  
him3 8,don't ask me1 try and find out10 

and ,i chaffed him so that he had to    
give up asking4 ,i never knew whether   
there was a motive in his curiosity or  
not4 ,at all events1 he never was       
anything but a kindly and helpful friend
 to me4 ,i drove away from ,no4 #ad1    
,sofiskaya ,naberezhnaya in an open car 
in the bright light of a full moon1     
glittering stars1 and hard frost4       
,litvinoff1 observing that ,i looked    
back at it rather sentimentally1 said3  
8,that is your ,moscow home1 the next   
time you come you will bring your       
children10 and ,i felt that ,i did not  
look upon it for the last time4 ,we     
drove first to the ,commissariat for    
,foreign ,affairs1 as he had some       
packages of papers to pick up there     
which he had taken away in the morning  
to have sealed up for me4 ,i waited     
outside in the car for some time4 ,when 
he rejoined me he was agitated1 my      
8coffins10 he had just learnt1 were     
still at the ,kremlin4 ,organisation had
 miscarried1 it was 8somebody's0 fault4 

,the lorry had waited for them three    
hours1 but the sentry at the building   
had refused to deliver them up4 ,what   
could have happened8 ,everyone was at   
the big ,opera ,house meeting1 so all   
telephoning efforts to get hold of      
responsible help had been in vain4 ,we  
had three-quarters of an hour before the
 train was due to start4 ,i suggested   
driving to the ,kremlin to see what we  
could do4 ,happily ,i still had my pass 
on me1 so we got in by the sentry4 ,the 
building1 ever before so busy1 was now  
utterly deserted and resonant4 ,i       
unlocked the door of my studio1 and     
there were the two coffins lying packed 
and sealed and unmoved4 ,i lifted one   
end of one1 it was far beyond our       
combined strengths to carry1 and the    
motor could not have taken them4 ,we    
gave it up in despair4 ,down in the     
courtyard our car refused to move1 the  
chauffeur was tinkering at it4 ,it      
seemed to have a real congested chill4  
,train time was drawing near4 ,the      

station was some way off4 8,stay10 said 
,litvinoff4 ,i had visions of staying1  
perhaps indefinitely1 having parted with
 all except what ,i stood up in4  ,i    
looked round at the beloved ,kremlin1 to
 which ,i had already said good-bye not 
expecting to see it again4 ,it seemed   
more beautiful than ever1 more still1   
more dignified1 more impassive4 ,the    
clock in the old ,spassky tower         
complainingly chimed three times1 it was
 a quarter to seven4 ,at last the car   
breathed1 pulsed1 started1 then stopped4
 ,then pulsed1 grunted1 and started     
again4 ,we were off1 and1 as the road   
lay down hill1 it seemed possible that  
the car1 which was misfiring badly1     
might just get there4 ,it seemed to be  
an evening of mishaps1 and ,i felt fated
 not to leave ,moscow4 ,however1 we     
reached the station at exactly #g1 and  
,i gathered up all ,i could in each     
hand1 and ran towards a crowd that stood
 by the only train in the station4      
,litvinoff shouted to me 8you needn't   

run40 ,indeed1 ,i need not1 as the only 
train in the station was not the train  
of ,professor ,lomonosoff4 ,his special 
came in at another platform about half  
an hour later1 and never went out till  
after #i4 ,had we known1 something could
 have been done in the time to get the  
cases to the train1 also ,i could have  
gone to the meeting and heard ,lenin4   
,no one was more frantic than           
,lomonosoff1 who prided himself on his  
train being punctual4 ,but it could not 
be helped1 the train had just returned  
from the ,urals1 and was in a state of  
disorder4  ,litvinoff1 when he said     
good-bye to me1 promised to send on my  
cases by courier to ,reval in time to   
catch the ,stockholm boat4 ,he then     
aroused my curiosity by telling me that 
he had been a better friend to me than  
,i should ever know4 ,i begged him to   
explain1 but he said that ,i must wait  
ten years or so4   ,,november #g,,th4   
,in the train4  ,professor ,lomonosoff  
is the ,minister of ,railways4 ,we are  

carrying six and a half million pounds  
in gold1 which he is taking to ,germany 
to buy locomotives4 ,we are accompanied 
by an armed guard4  ,we were held up    
many hours last night because there was 
an accident on-the line and it took a   
long time to clear4 ,periodically the   
axle of the gold car breaks or the      
oil-box takes fire1 and we stop         
perpetually3 but we are steadily nearing
 our goal4 ,it really does not matter   
how long we take so long as we catch    
next ,thursday's boat from ,reval4      
,besides ,lomonosoff's staff1 which he  
is taking with him to ,germany1 our     
party consists of ,vanderlip and        
,neuroteva1 and a charming man called   
,d----1 who is a railway expert4 ,he was
 once a very rich man and in the ,tsar's
 entourage4 ,he seemed anxious to tell  
me as quickly as possible that he was a 
,monarchist1 as if to be mistaken for a 
,bolshevik were more than he could bear4
 ,he looked anmic and well bred1 with   
deep-set1 sad eyes and a calm and       

resignation that were almost tragic4    
,he differed bitterly and openly in his 
views from ,lomonosoff1 and said3 8,i am
 a ,russian4 ,i am working for ,russia1 
not for the ,bolsheviks10 and then      
called them robbers4 ,professor         
,lomonosoff sat back in his chair and   
chuckled4 ,he said3 8,you call us       
robbers1 but we called you robbers40 ,it
 was just a question of which robber    
came out on top4  ,afterwards1 when     
,lomonosoff left us1 ,i begged ,d----   
not to indulge in any more political    
discussions4 8,i shall be over the      
frontier in a few hours1 but you have to
 live here4 ,do take heed for yourself40
  ,he shrugged his shoulders4 8,one dies
 but once10 he said1 laughing1 and then 
explained3 8,they know my views well1   
but ,i can do good work for them1 and   
they know that ,i am not in touch with  
counter-,revolutionary movements1 and   
that ,i take no part in politics1 so ,i 
am safe enough40  ,lomonosoff1 who had  
been a railway official in ,tsarist     

days1 told us how he had accompanied the
 ,tsar's train to ,tsarskoe-,selo4 ,the 
,tsar1 he said1 had even up to that     
moment not realised the meaning of the  
,revolution4 ,he probably thought he was
 retiring to ,siberia until the storm   
had blown over4 ,at the station1 on his 
arrival1 his bodyguard had by courtesy  
been drawn up to greet him4 ,the ,tsar  
alighted from the train1 and went to    
inspect the guard with the usual        
greeting3 8,good health to you1         
soldiers60 ,the answer is3 8,good health
 to your ,imperial ,majesty10 but on    
this occasion the soldiers answered     
almost with one voice1 8,good health to 
you1 ,colonel60 ,the ,tsar seemed to    
realise for the first time the real     
situation4 ,he became ashen white1      
turned the collar of his overcoat up1   
and shrank away4  ,lomonosoff also gave 
us a vivid and thrilling account of the 
detailed organisation1 in which he took 
part1 with the purpose of wrecking the  
,tsar's train while he was on his way to

 ,siberia4 ,two runaway engines were to 
be despatched with no one on board to   
collide with the back of the ,tsar's    
train4 ,these plans were only frustrated
 at the last second by news of the      
,tsar's abdication4  ,when he proceeded 
to tell us how the ,tsar's entourage    
deserted him as rats do a sinking ship1 
it was evidently very painful to ,d---- 
who sat grimly silent4 ,i could not help
 feeling that they enjoyed his          
discomfiture a little bit4  ,later1 when
 we were again alone together1 he said  
to me rather passionately3 8,it is not  
true that everyone deserted my ,tsar1   
for my best friend followed him to      
,siberia to share his death1 and there  
were devoted friends of the ,tsarina who
 did the same40  ,we are now nearing the
 frontier4 ,the little country stations1
 decorated for the #gth with red bunting
 and pictures of ,lenin1 will soon be   
passed4 ,back we go to the old world of 
tips and restaurants and civilisation4  
,good-bye1 wonder world1                

good-bye--good-bye6   ,,november        
#ab,,th4 ,reval1 ,esthonia4  ,we arrived
 in ,reval late on ,tuesday night1 the  
#ith4 ,i was handed a package containing
 my two volumes of diary and all my     
kodak films1 which thanks to ,litvinoff 
had been sealed with ,government seals  
and confided to a courier who kept them 
in his charge until we were over the    
frontier4  ,i have written my diary all 
these weeks as trustingly as though ,i  
were in my own home1 never foreseeing   
any difficulties of departure4 ,my trust
 in ,providence is always justified4    
,the next day ,i went to the ,british   
,consulate4 ,mr4 ,leslie 7no relation7  
made me extremely welcome4 ,he said that
 he had heard of me from ,h4 ,g4 ,wells1
 and that until then he had not known ,i
 was in ,russia3 ,i had 7reproachfully7 
not addressed myself to the ,consulate  
on my in-going journey4 ,i found that he
 had a ,henry ,james cult1 and had read 
everything ,henry ,james had written1   
including the two volumes of letters4   

,he gave me his bathroom for an hour and
 a half1 invited me to luncheon and then
 arranged for me to stay the remaining  
two days in ,reval with a most          
hospitable ,english couple1 ,mr4 and    
,mrs4 ,harwood1 who lived in a beautiful
 villa on the seashore4 ,there ,i was   
overwhelmed by kindness4  ,i also       
learned with some curiosity and interest
 the politics of ,esthonia1 the         
half-,bolshevik conditions of things1   
and the history of the ,baltic ,germans1
 their settlement in ,reval and their   
forced departure4 ,it is an amusing but 
complicated little side-show4  ,during  
my stay in ,reval ,i had to go several  
times to the ,soviet headquarters at the
 ,hotel ,petersburg4 ,it amuses me to   
recall my bewildered impression of last 
,september4 ,this time when ,i went ,i  
felt thoroughly at home4 ,not only did  
,comrade ,gai take a great deal of      
trouble for me1 but ,gukovski received  
me as a friend4  ,on ,thursday morning  
the coffins arrived from ,moscow by     

courier1 as promised by ,litvinoff1 and 
,i had a fine game of dodge4 ,gai sent  
them on a lorry to me at the ,british   
,consulate just when ,i had left1 and   
they returned to the ,hotel ,petersbourg
 while ,i was chasing after them to the 
,british ,consulate4 ,finally ,i got    
them down to the quay1 but they were not
 allowed on board because there was not 
the required official paper from        
,moscow4 ,had the ship left as she was  
supposed to leave at midday1 they       
certainly would not have been on board1 
but there was a storm brewing so the    
ship delayed sailing a day4 ,when ,gai  
had finally sent me the necessary paper1
 ,i sought out the ,captain and begged  
him to have my cases put somewhere      
especially safe4 8,they contain the     
heads of ,lenin and ,trotsky10 ,i       
exclaimed4 ,the ,captain looked awfully 
impressed and pleased1 so pleased that  
,i added 8plaster heads--and breakable40
  8,a plaster head of ,trotsky--and     
breakable8 ,come on6 let us break       

,trotsky's head10 and he made towards it
 threateningly1 much to the amusement of
 the onlookers4  ,my departure from     
,reval was most carefully and kindly    
superintended by my late ,bolshevik     
hosts1 whose representatives in ,reval  
and also ,professor ,lomonosoff and his 
staff did everything in their power to  
be kind and attentive4  ,we are on our  
way now to ,stockholm1 ,i find the same 
,swedish banker1 ,mr4 ,aschberg1 on     
board who went across with us in        
,september4 ,he is in charge of a cabin 
full of gold4 ,he takes good care of me 
and ,i am glad to find a friend4 ,i am  
told the food on board is very bad1 but 
,i think it is marvellous4   ,,november 
#af,,th4 ,stockholm1 ,sweden4  ,i have  
lost all track of time4 ,storms forced  
our little boat to anchor under the     
shelter of an ,aland isle for two days  
and a night4  ,on our arrival late at   
night at ,stockholm we were met by      
,professor ,lomonosoff's representative 
with a car1 and after we had all been   

submitted to a search1 not for arms1 but
 for insects1 and declared fit to step  
on to ,swedish soil1 ,i was whirled off 
to the ,hotel ,anglais4  ,i had fully   
expected to be lost and forgotten on    
leaving ,moscow1 but here ,i am being   
taken care of in the third country away4
 ,if the ,stockholm experiences         
foreshadow my coming reception in       
,england1 it promises to be hectic4 ,i  
am not allowed breathing space1 nor     
eating space4  ,reporters besiege me4   
,they even walk up to my room without   
being announced4 ,i am so ignorant of   
the papers they represent that ,i say   
all the wrong things4 ,one paper1 a     
,conservative one1 says that ,i declared
 ,trotsky to be a perfect gentleman4    
,this1 if it gets back to ,moscow1 is   
most embarrassing4 ,never in my wildest 
moments would ,i use so mediocre a      
description to apply to ,trotsky4 ,i    
might say he was a genius1 a superman1  
or a devil4 ,anyway1 in ,russia we talk 
of men and women and not of ladies and  

gentlemen4 ,i dare say that the editor  
meant well1 and that things get         
distorted in translation4  ,the         
experience of returning through         
,stockholm is rather unique4 ,because we
 have both come out of ,russia together1
 ,mr4 ,vanderlip and ,i have been       
entertained at the same parties1 but for
 me ,frederick ,strm and the ,russian   
,bolsheviks are invited and for         
,vanderlip the leading ,swedish bankers4
 ,it is a queer amalgamation1 but it    
works well4  ,the first evening ,i      
talked to ,socialist ,strm and a        
,conservative banker for an hour and a  
half in flowing but execrable ,german4  
,they did not laugh at my grammar1 but  
listened and spurred me on with         
questions4 ,the ,german of my childhood 
slightly practised in ,moscow has       
returned to me with a rush4  ,i have    
been invited to do a monument for a     
public square in ,stockholm representing
 ,peace uniting the workers of the      
,right and ,left ,wings4 ,the money has 

been subscribed in kroner by the        
workpeople4 ,it is an international     
thing1 and they would be pleased if ,i  
would do it4 ,it is a subject which     
rather lends itself to allegorical      
treatment and appeals to the            
imagination4  ,i am now in the night    
train for ,gteborg4 ,before ,i left ,i  
went to tea with the children at the    
,palace4 ,the ,crown ,prince            
unfortunately was in ,rome4 ,the        
children seemed lonely1 but well4       
,princess ,ingred looked sad1 big-eyed  
and rather pale4 ,the baby1 ,johnny1 is 
adorable4 ,he is a thing so sweet to    
woman1 so much to be appreciated4 ,one  
feels the maternal spirit-arms round    
him4  ,i also went to see the           
,comptroller of the ,queen's household1 
an artist and an old friend of many     
years4 ,here the impression ,i received 
of prejudice against my ,russian friends
 was overwhelming1 but ,i suppose1 in   
,court circles1 this is to be expected4 
,,november #ah,,th4 ,goteborg to        

,newcastle4  ,more delays1 owing to     
storms4 ,always there are delays on this
 journey1 do what one will it is        
impossible to hurry4 ,in pre-war days it
 took two days to come from ,russia4    
,now it takes two weeks4   ,,november   
#bc,,rd4 ,london4  ,we arrived at       
,newcastle at midnight on the #aith4    
,steaming up the ,tyne at night is      
wonderful1 all the arc lights throwing  
into relief great machinery and         
construction4 ,the activity and work    
looked colossal4 ,how can ,russia fight 
this iron industrialism8 ,as soon as we 
had glided alongside the quay1 and ,i   
had touched ,english soil once more1 ,i 
was not left in doubt one moment as to  
the truth of ,kameneff's premonitions4  
,while the coffins were being opened    
with chisel and hammer at the ,custom   
,house1 reporters1 who declared they had
 come from ,london and had been waiting 
two days1 clamoured for information4    
,the head official of the ,customs was  
very abrupt in his manner and subjected 

all my luggage to a most ruthless       
search4 ,i did not declare the identity 
of my heads1 but from the unpleasant    
official attitude ,i guessed that they  
were already known4 ,one official began 
examining a large album of photographs4 
,i said to him3 8,that isn't contraband1
 they are photographs of my work2 yes1  
that one is ,mr4 ,churchill1 if it      
interests you1 you may look at it40 ,he 
nearly flung it down4 8,i've no scent   
and no tobacco1 one doesn't get those   
things in ,russia10 ,i said4            
,unfortunately at that minute he came   
upon a packet of ,soviet cigarettes1 my 
last ration that ,i had carefully kept  
and brought back to ,england4 ,but he   
said3 8,that is not what we are looking 
for40 ,whatever he was looking for he   
didn't find4  ,he then poked his arm up 
to the elbow in the straw and shavings  
that wrapped up ,dzhirjinsky1 until     
satisfied that it was not a ,christmas  
bran pie4 ,i then got it nailed down    
again1 and accepted the newspaper       

reporters' invitation to drive with them
 from the quay to the station4 ,there   
another man met me armed with a kodak   
and a flashlight4 ,i sympathise with    
professional keenness1 but ,i will not  
be butchered to make a ,roman holiday4  
,the moment seemed inappropriate4 ,there
 were inebriated young fellows shouting1
 singing1 and falling about the stations
 to such an extent that the policeman1  
who had vainly tried to look the other  
way1 had finally to take notice1 but he 
had to knock one of them down before he 
could arrest him4 ,it was a revolting   
sight to which one had grown            
unaccustomed4 ,i was glad to get into my
 sleeper and shut out the sight and     
sound of ,newcastle at midnight4  ,since
 then my soul1 my life1 my time1 has    
been no longer my own4 ,i have been     
pursued1 besieged1 harassed1 feasted1   
attacked1 appraised in turn4  ,i have   
seen the anti-,bolshevik in all his     
glory of prejudice1 hate and bitterness4
  ,the ,bolshevik is a new phenomenon1  

but the anti-,bolshevik is merely       
history repeating itself4 ,we read of   
the same condition of mind in ,england  
after the ,napoleonic wars2 the same    
fear of ,french ,revolutionary ideas1   
and same action and reactions4  ,yet1 if
 people would only realise it1          
,revolutions are not caused by          
propaganda1 nor by plots4 ,in ,russia   
the ,revolution failed every time it was
 organised4 ,it was brought about by    
cause and effect at the very moment when
 the present leaders were in exile in   
the four corners of the globe4          
,alexinsky says in his 8,modern         
,russia03 8,seek for the cause of       
,revolution neither in the ardent       
propaganda of the ,revolutionists--nor  
in the bad qualities of monarchs and    
their advisers1 but in the deep and     
silent operation of certain forces1     
which lead new social classes upon the  
stage of history40 ,it is futile to     
waste hate upon these forces1 or to call
 them ,lenin and ,trotsky1 when really  

it is the law of evolution and change   
that is demonstrating in certain parts  
of the earth4                           
,,the ,,end4                            
,,the ,,botolph ,,printing ,,works1     
#h1 ,,gate ,,street1 ,,kingsway1        
,w4,c4#b4   ,,footnotes3  #a ,earl      
,midleton1 ,peper ,harow1 ,godalming1   
,surrey4  #b ,sydney ,russell ,cooke4   
#c ,oswald ,frewen1 my brother4  #d     
,richard ,brinsley ,sheridan1 born      
,september #bjth1 #aiae4  #e ,lady      
,randolph ,churchill4  #f ,dr4 ,axel    
,munthe1 ,san ,michele1 ,anacapri1      
,italy4  #g ,madame ,leo ,kameneff4